davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The New York herald., 1922-01-19
ANDERSON BANK CLOSED.

ANDERSON, s. c., Jan. 1s.--The Peo-
ple's Bank Of Anderson failed to open
It's doors this morning. Failure to rea-
lize on loans and withdrawal of deposits
are the causes given by officials for the
banks situation.
The New York herald., 1922-01-19
FULTON TRUST COMP ANY
OF NEW YORK
f40 BROADWAY

Atthe Annual Meeting OF the Stockholders OF this
Company held on the 18th day Of January, 1922, the
following gentlemen were unanimously elected
Trustees OF the Company for the term ending
January, 1925:
j. Roosevelt Roosevelt, Robert 1. Gerry, .
Henry X. Pomroy, A. Douglas knsseh,
Alfred E. Marling, Arthur j. Morris,
Charles NJ. Newcombe, Warren CruikshAns,
and the following gentlemen as Inspectors OF Elec-
ton for 1928
: Newbold T. Lawrence, Percy r. Pyne,
+. Ashton de Peyster.
ARTHUR J. NORRIS, Secretary.
The New York herald., 1922-01-19
ALLIS-CHAI.MERS
MANUFACTURING COMPANY, Inc.

COMMON DIVIDEND NO. Z.
January 5th, 1927.
The Board Of Directors has declared q
dividend of One Dollar (S1 .O0) Ier share on
the common stock OF this company. payable
February 18th. 1892, TO common stockhold-
ers of record at the close of business Janu-
airy 2ith. 1922.
Transfer books will not be closed
Checks will he mailed ta
ii. WOODLAND. Secretary and Treasurer
The New York herald., 1922-01-19
SUGAR STOCKS.
CHEMICAL STOCKS.

An advertisement IN the Lost aud
Found columns Of THE NEW YORK.
HERALD offers a real possibility ot
recovering your lost property.
The New York herald., 1922-01-19
THE CONNERCIAJ. TRUST CONPAyY
OF NEW YORK

Broadway and 41st Street. New York.
January 18th. 1aa2.
At the Annual Meeting Of the Stockholders
OF this Company. held January 18th. 1922.
the following were elected Directors TO
serve until 1926 II. G.. AIMONE, a.. J.
BAUMANN, j. r. CAvAGNARO. A. III.
GIANNINI. JAMES WOODS and +. A.
ZUNINO.
Inspectors of Election for the annual meet
ing In 1923 John A. Badenoch and J. Ro-
maine Brown.
J. q. HEMERIcH, Secretary.
The New York herald., 1922-01-19
CONSOLIDATED GAS COMPANY OF

CONSOLIDATED GAS COMPANY or
NEW YORK,
130 East 18th Street.
January q. 1897.
The annual meeting of the stockholders OF
this Company for the election of Tvustes
to serve during the ensuing year viii be
held at this office Monday. January IS.
1922. Polls will be open from IL M. TO
] p. NJ. Transfer books win close Saturday.
January "a. 1922. at IL NJ. and reopen
Tuesday. January "a, 1922.
II. n. BRUNDAGE. Secretary.
The New York herald., 1922-01-19
DIVIDENDS AND INTEREST.
FEDERAL SUGAR REFINING co,

January 4th. 1922.
The regular quarterly dividend of One and
Three-Quarters Per Cent. UAee) on the Com
mon Shares and one and One-haif Per Cent.
Qi9ec) on the Preferred Shares OF this Com
pany viii be paid February LIST. 1922. to
stockholders of record at the close of busi-
ness January goth. 1922. Transfer books
will not close.
The Washington times., 1922-02-12

thought Of It he could have stayed
at homo and never missed q bull
fight and installed Q few monkey
glands and achieved the same re-
suits that he did.
Back in my old homo town
years ago It is quite the custom for
some old fellers 10 have q hank
erin to stay young. There Is one
old bird by the name Of Blinky
Bascomb. so-cailed Blinky for the
reason that he blinks considerable
and he is the village 30 Brum-
mel OF them times. He Is on the
shady side OF sixty and he makes
up like the sunny side of thirty. He
wears a loud check suit. a red
necktie with a diamond horseshoe
into It and he dyes his hair and
mustache, which is q great burden
to him for the reason that he can't
The Washington times., 1922-02-12

and he has no desire to do SO. He
tries false teeth. several brands Of
hair dye and a few electric mas
sages, but he keeps right on get
ting old. When his birthdays be-
gin to go past like telegraph poles
when you are riding with Barney
Oldfield, this bird makes up his
mind something has got to be done
about It. Somebody tips him or
that somewhere down in the yellow
fever section Of America there is
place where he can find eternal
youth and live forever. II he can
only find the place, which is the
only catch in the whole thing.
"Now he is very anxious to live
forever. although I don't see why
any Spaniard should nourish any
such grudge against himself, and
so he sets out to America with
The Washington times., 1922-02-12

couple OF bull-nghters. There Is
one very serious drawback to this
thing. as he is told he has got to
find q certain fountain and Jump
into 1t and when he comes out he
will have a new set Of teeth and q
new head Of hair and q swell suit
of clothes and will be q regular
moving picture hero, all excepting
the salary. The idear Of jumping
into a fountain sort Of annoys P. D.
Leon quite a lot, as It Is almost
new experience, as Saturday night
does not mean much in Spain ex-
cept the end Of another bum week.
But he decides to take a chance.
provided he can find this fountain
and forget his prejudices and do q
Brodie into the thing Just once for
luck. II the bath don't hurt him
he will advise lot OF his fellow
The Washington times., 1922-02-12
Quincy Todd on Eternal Youth

oountrymen to try It. So he goes
around trying all the fountains he
finds and he gets to be . regular
pearl diver, the pearl he seeks be-
ing eternal youth. After looking
around for several years and TAX
ing q lot of unnecessary baths he
does not find this fountain at all.
and he gets the idear that some
body has handed him q sour tip.
The only thing his expedition after
eternal youth has done for him is
to add q few more years onto his
age. And / find that Is generally
the case. Only. Of course. he gets
a few high-tip hotels named after
him, which is fair enough.
When a Teller starts out to look
for something that amt there. they
always make a hero out Of him.
But II this P. d. Leon had only Of
The Washington times., 1922-02-12

ough complimented me upon II. Il
said to the King: I hope you are
frank and he said: oh, no.
am George" -Iaw-haw! Perfect
ly priceless, I would say.
don't believe Lloyd George
likes me. Pip-pip. toodle-oo. I am
not disturbed. He is ridiculous
figure on horseback. Balfour is
also more or less of a mum. His
repartee is terrible. He always
thinks of something to say-efter
he is on his way home.
This diary so bristles with COS
sip OF international importance I
hardly know what to leave in and
what to leave out. heard a good
ono on Lady Cheesebrough yester.
day. She wanted 10 dine at the
Carlton and desired to remove her
wedding ring. But she had such a
large callus on her finger from
spinning the put-and-take top that
the ring would not come on. A
pretty joke that is, and so naive.
How I adore horses and horsey
men. There is Sir Claude Bilge-
water the yachtsman and horse
The Washington times., 1922-02-12
X NY husband, you know. was a
V great diplomat, and, I may
saw. still is. Any husband

X NY husband, you know, was
N great diplomat, and, I may
say, still is. Any husband
who can live with q literary wife
is q diplomat of the first water.
This diary will deal entirely with
international affairs as they have
como to me through the years. It
is not personal diary. as It will be
noted, do not mention myself at
all. 1t will relate International po-
litical secrets Of great importance
never before revealed to the public
eye.
Tho mysterious goings-on behind
tho political scenes are fascinating.
and when this diary is published in
book form It ought to be one Of the
six best smellers.
But. to the important interna.
tional events
I am very fond of endive, but
how detest romaine. Nobody will
ever know how I detest romaine.
went to Paris on q diplomatic
mission the other day and 1t was
successful. I got a new gown with
out my husband knowing q thing
about Il.
They tell me tho Americans are
still UP in the air. They haven't
taken q drop in some time. Raw
Their good, what? Ripping, what?
The Earl of whiffenpoof dropped
in yesterday for a call on me. A
pleasant old man, but his elbows
squeak terribly when he takes his
tea. The Earl has a renegade son,
but what earl hasn't? This son,
however, is particularly wild. He
went right into a public restaurant
the other day and ate at the same
table with an American! And reck-
less? My word! He went right
out, one OF the coolest days this
Winter, without his monocle. The
old Earl is very much discouraged.
= lie says he Is afraid the young fool
may amount to something yet.
Isn't that perfectly priceless?
Righto!
, Here is a particularly good one |
got off yesterday when was lunch.
ing with Marlborough. Let's see.
What was It. oh, yes. Listen.
This is very good. and Marlbor-
The Washington times., 1922-02-12
The Dippy Dictionary-By Joy"
Appendicitis

PPENDCITIS is the sophisticated brother
that hits anywhere between the center Of gravity
and the fifteenth of February and leaves you with moth
ing q grim outlook and a
Our mothers cured Of appendicitis than all the
present medical profession and with nothing than
of castor oil and a spanking
Appendicitis unknown until the physicians became
they forced to roll their cigarettes
necessity brought about the surgical art whereby they
and half inches Of trouble and $500 than you
expect to have again.
When the doctor needs tire he calls indigestion but
he wants replace his auto with another of the make
he calls your ailments appendicitis.
Appendicitis is like lovet hits you In your appetite and
ruins your bank account.
One Of the greatest benefits derived from appendicitis that
gives its victim something to talk about which he
failed do any and all occasions In the social world the
appendix indication Of and in the Four
Hundred with that portion Of his anatomy still remaining with
him is like a pair Of pink at funeral. .s.
having the appendicitis Like having quart of hootch
in your pocket You cannot keep it hidden The doctor
look you out flat and mounts your carcass Uy
and he jumps upon your midr like he trying
run rabbit of brush pile, and if much vince
when horcuit liver he yes for four nurses
his carving and your heckbook Then you
hospital you regain consciousness three days later
feeling like asafoedda tastes and wishing that you
blind COW had foundered dynamite and wandered in
front q fast mail train
The Washington times., 1922-02-12
By Mrs. Tarpot Askitt

care for prohibition there. Tho
only place things are prohibited Is
IN free country. Shaw may claim
that he said that first. but, what
care II Two people may be struck
by the same idea II perhaps not at
the same moment
Winnie Churchill dropped in for
crumpets the other morning. I am
very fond OF Winnie. am also
very fond of grapefruit. I have a
special diving suit to wear while
eating it. Churchill was as full OF
news as a kings speech to Parlia-
ment, II you get what I mean. But
he is ono Of the big men of our
government, being a perfect 81.
He told me the Hon. BERTHE Brain
flag has become engaged to a great
American heiress.
"Will her father come across to
the wedding" l asked.
He has come across already"
replied Churchill. HE had to be-
fore BERTHE would consider the en-
gagement at all"
To make this plain to my read
ers, should say that to come
across" is an Americanism, mean
ing to pay up. Rawther good,
what? For a man who has no
brains, Churchill is very clever. l
never knock anybody, but really,
that person
Tremendous things are stirring
in diplomatic circles. Lady Fris-
dale, being rather hard-up, has
opened perfume shop for the
smart set, and l would say that
little perfume would not harm the
smart-set bit. enjoy the Amer
lean Ambassador so much. He
looks so funny in a high hat.
State smen here, however, recon-
mend him very highly. Only the
other day heard Rt. Hon. Mont
morency Barnstable say that the
new American Ambassador is,
without doubt, the tallest ambas-
sador we have ever seen here. Not
so bad. In fact, rawtner spiffy,
what7
oh, there are so many important
international things to set down.
guess I will stop ere I say too
much.
Tro-' r-'','- r'-N.. p,-s~".t
The Washington times., 1922-02-12
Efficiency for the Wife

couple of pairs Of pants for the.
twins out of the fathers old
ones, decker with the butter and
egg buyer and chase a dozen tin
peddlers out Of the front yard.
After she has washed the din.
ner dishes, taught three or four
calves to drink out of q tin pail,
oiled the windmill and done her
sweeping and busting she puts
up a few preserves. cans nine
bushels Of plums and gets sup
per.
Her real relaxation and plea,
sure comes after supper, when
she has nothing much to do but
wash the dishes. cut tho old
mans hair, mend the hired
mans overalls. spank the chill
dren and put them to bed, read
the Weekly Bazoo to her hus-
band. make a batch Of yarb tea,
set the pancake batter, do some
quilting. string four bushels Of
apples, put the cats out. wind
the clock. cover the bird cages.
lock the chicken coop. grease
the old mans chest with arnio-
ky and 60 to bed. All the rest
Of her time is her own. to do
with as she pleasea
When she goes to bed she
meets herself getting mp.
Teach the farmers wife effi-
cheney?
Huh! she invented II,
The Washington times., 1922-02-12
Diary of a Diplomats Wife

owner, for instance. was riding
with him yesterday. He is a great
dilletante. Although a very clever
surgeon, he perfectly despises his
profession, but he told me he IS
going to work in earnest to-mor-
row. You see. he has a patient
named Earnest. Haw. haw! I
wonder II they win get that one
over in delightful but crude Amer
lea
Lord Junkshire was saying to me
yesterday: You are very clever
woman" l was in a Quandary. 1t
Is never good form to dispute a
Lord, SO what could do but sub
NIT to the implication, although l
assure you 1t was very painful, as
that is distressing thing to be
accused OF.
Perhaps I am giving away too
many international diplomatic sec
rets, but have determined to pub
lish this diary though the heavens
fall. l suppose the Prime Minister
and the King will be very angry.
A boot for them. see Scotland
has gone wet again. They don't
The Washington times., 1922-02-12

XII DEM, ooyS. D"o ~' ANAeo
botham. that a beautiful
expert Of the female sect
has Just returned from Europe and
says Q syrup has been invented so
~ a woman don't have to grow old
no more"
II also read of this serum" says
Quincy Todd, "and now that
women don't have to grow old any
more. probably some of them will
do It Just TO show that they can II
they want to. Women are a pecu-
liar sect that way-almost as Pc
culiar as the men,"
do you suppose thsre Is any
thing in this discovery about eter-
nal YOUTH" asks Elias Q. Higgin-
botham.
Sure" says Quincy. There is
something in It for somebody or
else we would not hear of 1t at all.
Personal. don't see exactly
why the women want to be any
younger than they are now, when
you can't tell q grandmother any
more when you meet her face to
face on the street. When a grand
mother and her granddaughter are
walking down the street you can't
pick one from t'other unless It is
that the grandmother's skirt Is a
little shorter. Figgering what the
corner drug store can do for any
lady these days, It don't seem as
though any additional serum is
necessary. They also have got
skin-stretchers now, and every
beauty parlor has got a wrinkle
department. presided over by an
expert. When . lady comes out Of
that laundry, she is as smooth as
the bosom Of . dress shirt. II she
has got . few minutes to spare,
they can change the shape OF her
nose to match the design Of her
aigarette-holder. II q strange lady
rsshes up to you on the street, and
asks you for money. don't be
alarmed. II may be your own wife.
81 don't suppose" continues
Quincy. that in your travels
through the Pubic Library you
ever met up with a gent by the
name of p. d. Leon7"
II don't remember any such
man." says Elias @. Higginbotham.
What line is he I'M"
His first name is Ponce" says
Quincy. 81 never could make much
sense out of his first name. Tho
whole thing is Ponce D. Leon, and
I believe he is Spaniard or some
thing. So far as I know he is the
FIRST guy that gives this eternal
youth thing tumble"
Don't this bird run hotel by
that name down in Floridy or some
where?" asks Elias Q. Higginboth-
am. "The name sounds similar"
He 10 q famous bird and much
spoke o." says Quincy, land for
that reason he is a long time dead.
They do not name hotels after you
while you are alive unless you hap
pen to own the hotel personal and
name 1t after yourself. Did they
name any hotel after old Mr.. Bilt-
more while ne is alive? look how
long old man Blackstone has to
wait for a hotel. And Mr. Claridge
and old st. Regis.
mo. this p. d. Leon is getting
along in years over there in Europe
The Washington times., 1922-02-12
NNE bureau Of the Depart
ment OF Agriculture at

0NE bureau Of the Depart
u ment OF Agriculture at
Washington Is busy just
now preparing a course In eff
cheney for farmers wives. Much
literature Is being sent broad
cast to teach these women to do
housework properly.
But taking efficiency to the
farmers wife is like carrying
cheese to Switzerland.
The farmers wife rises at 4
o'clock and gets breakfast for
her husband and the hired man
so they can sneak out and catch
the oats while 1t Is still dark and
they are asleep in the field.
BY the time the city lady has
taken her first look at the clock
and begun thinking about Nng-
ing for her maid the farmers
wife has MIXED nine cows, fed
800 chickens and a dozen hogs,
washed, fed and dressed five
children. washed the dishes.
done the churning. made the
beds. done the family washing
and has gone out with a tin pail
looking for potato bugs.
During the forenoon all she
has to do Is weed the kitchen
garden. harvest the eggs. peel
the rutabagas, make a couple
Of apple pies for dinner. darn
the old mans socks. make
The Washington times., 1922-02-12
By Roy K. Moulton

keep his hair and mustache the
same shade.
Ono will DO sort of . mauvs
while tho other 10 q decided Law
ender. When tho dye begins te
wear out his hair gets q sort OF
pea green around the ends ant
gray at the roots. and on them 90
casions he keeps his hat on until
he gets . new supply Of paint. He
has . very fine set OF teeth. which
he gets from q mail order house.
These teeth. by the way. gives
him q reputation for being . very
jolly, good-natured fellow. indeed.
because they don't exactly At and
they stretch his mouth some, which
gives him the appearance of smil.
ing all the time. He is quite a
hero with the younger set and cam
not SEQ anybody Of his own age at
all.
He is getting away with It very
fne when all Of q sudden a war
hauls OF and breaks out and there
is a call issued for all young men
to 60 to the recruiting office and
everybody begins hooking kind Of
funny at Blinkey, for any guy that
don't step UP to tho scratch when
his country is having q war Is .
very poor patriot. Blinky gets
very nervous when the boys start
marching away, as he has been
quite a hero up to this time.
1T looks like tfoy will begin
calling out the old men, also, in q
few months and Blinky Is in a very
tight hole. He don't dast try to
enlist with the young guys and he
won't enlist with tho old ones.
You have heered about the man
without q country. well. Blinky Is
q man without an age. So one day
he goes on business trip to Chi
cago and that is the last We ever
see of him.
But meet him In hero In New
York a couple Of years ago and he
is a messenger boy for the tele-I
graph company. His hair and whis1
kers is white, but no has got q
young Job. He always whistles
when he goes up stairs so nobody
will hear his knees squeak. But.
he is fghtin' losing battle.
There is Just as many days in
the year for one Teller as for an
other, and although a guy may be
able to kid other people along
about his age, he can't kid himself.
Some people grow old gracefully.
and others grow old disgracefully.
When any gink tries to give Old
Father Time q shave and Q hair
cut and dry his mustache and
teach the old boy the shimmy ana
how to smoke cigarettes and make
love on the CoAey Island boat hs
is wasting a lot OF energy. Old
Gather Time is harder to disguise
than last years Ford. When that
old guy steps up and hollers:
Where's Elias @. Higginbotham,'
there amt no use Of you or any
other man tryin' to hide behind =
dyed mustache or a face massage.
He's got your number II nobody
else hasn't"
well, anyhow, regarding VIM
men," says Elias Q. Higginboth-
am, "a woman is only as old as she
looks"
"Yes," says Quincy, land when
Q man gets old he doesn't look" q
The Washington times., 1922-02-12
Cogitations of a Cuckoo

CogltatlOns OF a Cuckoo {
vUyHERE i. one way to get rid Brook
u Ign man has just married his b
Ny girl went tripping the street.
vision fair TO see
Her skirt wa. short her ankles neat
To overtake girl 1 ran
VI then another.
Twas someone slse-her mother.
stenosrapher had . bad spell the other day. She
Schenectady" with a "k' in it.
You never notice crease in pair of ISM
there.
find a nice apartment
And you go straiEhtway and rent it.
Your money Is no problem then-
For you have already spent IT.
Many . guy doesn't know h.. mlddl. nam. until b.
gets married and his wife has the calling cards printed
The subway car crowded when
lady aboard.
She cast glance upon tho
A sharp . sword.
look with anger repee
Her scorn It was not hid.
Did get her subway
In tho world she did! p.
On. paper says prominent .uffragete wa. born in New
Jersey and to manhood there
Som. say tn. women ar. not ono Of them
looks with appreciation upon any new wrinkle
sNmosr.ph instruments tells us
That earthquakes constant Of late.
Old Earth with her quakng.
Tho shimmy Is shaking
And really. Is quito uptodate.
Tho drsssnk.rs slogan: AN eye for an eye and hook
for hook"
The stretching tuning
about dollars hour in favor of tho fellow who
stretches the fence
Boy Alone" headline What did no do
. boat7
Northwestern University going their
higher roll their stockings lower Why all
socks?
, Many would a soodly for oldfashoned
headache produced by the odfashioned
Boobies feeding sugar to
and asked him what he doing he replied The minis
good, papa; kitty
The Washington times., 1922-02-12

Many would a soodly for an oldfashioned
headache produced by the odfashioned
When little Boobies mother found him feeding
and asked him what he doing he replied The minis
told be good like feedn' tn ittyr'
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1922-06-20

the college To introduce any dis crimination on grounds of politics or religion or race would be abnorrent to any truly American college. But f at our table there are not plates enough for all, let us exclude the greedy and overbearing and incon- siderate' and disloyal, whatever their antecedents may be; and let us wei come those who are personally clean, morally promising, socially unselfish, and desrious to givo as well as to take The enforcement of such standa rds can harm horace, no party, no neigh borhood, but can bring only a higher level of citizenship in every connun- i1y where college graduates live.
 The many inventions which have been crowded into the last hundred years have chiefly aimed at promot- ing OUT physical convenience or com fort Seldom do we stop to ask whether it is good for mankind to have more comfort and make less ef- fort The bench on which your grandfather sat at school gave place to the chair with a supporting back That was followed by Ihe arm chair