davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star., 1922-12-10

country, an whin I was down seein'
II I cud injooce Rafferty,. tn janitor
iv tn Isaac Muggs Grammar School.
fr to vote f'r Riordan-an' he's goin'
to--I dhropped in on Cassidy's daugh-
ter. Mary Ellen, an see her kindly
gartnin'.
9TH childher was settin' ar-round
dachshuds out iv mud an wipin'
dachshunds out iv mud an wipin'
their hands on their hair. an some
was carvin' figures iv a goat out iv
pasteboard, an some was singin', an
some was sleepin', an q few was
dancin'. and wan la-ad was pullin'
another 1a-ad's hair.
"'Why don't ye take tn coal shovel
to that little barbaryan. Mary Elem
says 1. We don't believe in corporeal
punishment says she. School shud
be made pleasant fr tn chAdher. she
says. 'Th' child who's hair Is bein'
pulled is larnin' patience. she says.
AN tn child that's pullin' tn hair is
discovrin' tn footility iv human In
deavor,' says she. Well, oh, WELL
says I, times has changed since was
a boy I says. Put thin through
their exercises says I. Tommy
says I, spell cat says. Go to tn
divvle,' says tn cheerful. Very smart
ly answered says Mary Ellen. 'Ye
shud not ask thin to SPELL she says.
They don't larn that till they get to
colledge,' she says, an she says.
sometimes not even thin she says.
An what do they larn? says l..
.Rompin',' she says, an dancin'. she
says, an fndepindance iv speech, an
beauty songs, an sweet thoughts, an
how to make home homelike,' she
says. Well says I, I didn't take
Evening star., 1922-12-10
Mr.. D0oley on Education of the Young


THE troubled Mr.. Hennessy had
been telling Mr.. Dooley about
the difficulty Of making q
Il choice of schools for Packy
Hennessy, who at the age of six was
at the point where the family must
decide his career.
"'Tis a big question:. said Mr..
Dooley, .an' wan that seems to be
worryin'' tn people more thin 1t used
to whin nearly ivry boy was designed
f'r TIL priesthood, with a full undher-
standin by his parents that TIL
chances was in favor iv a brick yard.
Nowadays they talk about tn idjaca-
ton iv TIL child befure they choose
TIL name.
"'Ti.: 'Th' kid talks In his sleep.
'Tis th' fine lawyer he'll make Or.
Did ye notice him admirin' that
photograph? He'll be xr-great jour
nalist.' Or, Look at him fishin' in
Uncle Tins watch pocket. We must
thrain him f'r q banker. Or. I'm
to wurruk. He must go into tn
church, Befure he's baptized, too,
dye mind. Twill not be long before
TIL time comes whin tn soggarthll
christen tn infant: Judge Pathrick
Aloysius Hinnissy. iv tn Northern
District iv 1llinye,' or Professor P.
Aloysius Hinnissy. LII. D., s. T. D.,
p. @. N. iv tn faculty iv Nothre Dame
9TH innocent child In his cradle.
wondi1erin' what ails tn mist iv him
an where he got such funny lookin'
parents firm, has thin to blame that
brought him into tn wurruld II he
DEVELOPS into a sicond story man be-
fure he's twenty-wan an is took up
be tn polls. Why don't you lade
Packy down to tn occylist an have
him fitted with a pair iv Eyeglasses?
Why don't ye put goloshes on him.
give him a blue umbrelly an call him
q doctor at wanst an be done with
It?
"To my mind, Hinnissy, we're
wastin' too much time thinkin' iv TIL
future iv our young, an thryin' to
larn thin early what they oughtn't to
know till they've growed up. We sind
tn chfldher to school as II twas a
summer garden where they 60 to be
amused instead iv q pinitinchry where
they're sint f'r tn original sin.
''whin I was a la-ad was put at
me ah-bee abs. tn first day set fut
in tn school behind tn hedge an me
head was sore inside an out befure
wint home. Now tn first thing we
larn tn future Rockyfellars Nv our
naytion is waltsin', sinEin' an cuttin'
pitchers out iv q book. Wed be much
better teachin' thin tn sthrangle
hold, f'r that's what they need in life
~ 4
ssr KNOW whAt1l happen. Ye'll sind
i Packy to what tn Germans call a
kindygartin', an tits q good thing fr
Germany, because all q German
knows is what some wan tells him,
an his grajation papers Is q certy-
ficate that he don't need to think amy
more.
':But-wS'vs- inthrajooced. Il into this
Evening star., 1922-12-10

build the houses and. factories bat
tered down by the Germans. Before
1914 II was the gsnsIionic nerve CEN
ter OF Joy. Every great dinner from
Paris to Picking and from Cape Town
to Mono paid tribute to Rheims. 1t
was the synonym of luxurious pleas
ure. and 1t sparkled the eyes OF the
rich. During the war the buildings
OF the great wine factories were de-
siroyed. but the cellars were un-
touched, as the Germans occupied the
city only a week in 1919. and their
shells did no damage to these great
cave-like excavations in the chalk
rock. The result 10 that the cellars
are practically intact, and as the old
plants are being rebuilt the industry
will soon be in better shape than
ever before.
y = = 4
Turing my stay in Rheims last
II week I visited one OF these wine
catacombs. walking through mile
after mile of tunnels. which cross
each other this way and that. form
ing great avenues far under the
ground. each walled with bottles Of
champagne. The establishment was
that Of the Pommcry Company. whose
champagnes we all knew before our
great drought began. 1t has II 900 900
bottles now in the making. and the
underground passages in which this
wine lies curing are more than ten
miles in length.
i went through the tunnels with
the manager of the company. and as
we inspected these long avenues OF
bottles he told me a little about how
champagne is made. His story es-
plains the high cost OF the wine II
Is made Of black grapes which come
from forty different vineyards in the
champagne country. The grapes are
first pressed and the skins removed.
The white Juice is then blended In a
mighty hosshead of "tun" which holds
10000 gallons Of liquor AS stood
beside ii at the entrance to the caves
it lowered above me like a house. II
is the worlds largest wine pot, ex-
cepting the huge tun at IIeidelburr.
Germany. The blending continues six
months, and after that the liquo-
takes from four to six years to run
through the processes that make it
into champagne. The fermentation
goes on in the bottles, which are set
in racks, and which after four or i've
years are shaken every day for six
weeks to get the sediment down to
the cork. The sediment is then arti-
ficially frozen and taken out az a,
small cake of ice. After that some
sweetening is added or some special
liqueur put in to give the desired
favor. The bottle is then recorked
under great pressure. packed away
and one year later is ready for sale
Carpenters World Traveis Copyright, 1872
by Frank q. Carpenterl
Evening star., 1922-12-10

creek idee iv God, he says. This is
all yell need to equip ye f'r tn per-
feet life. onless.' he says. we intind
bein' a dintist, in which case. he says.
we won't think much iv We, but we
have a good school where ye can larn
that disgraceful thrade.' he says. An
tn la-ad makes his choice. an ivry
mornin' whin he's up in time he takes
whiff iv hasheesh an goes off to
hear Professor Maryanna tell him that
If TIL dates iv human knowledge must
be REJECTED as subjective. how much
more must they be subjected as re-
jictive if. as l think we keep our
thoughts fixed upon tn inanity iv tn
finite in comparison with. th' onthink-
able truth with th' undivided an on
Imaginable reality. Boys, ARE ye
with me-
That's at wan colledge-th' Col
ledge iv Speechless Thought. Thin
there's tn Colledge iv Thoughtless
Speech, where tn la -ad is larned that
TIL best thing that can happen to amy
wan is to be prisidint iv railroad
consolidation. Th' he'd iv this COL
ledge believes in thrainin' young men
1 I'll CIV IL luecl, dlueI fAeiiS tSliS
me. .Th' on'y thrainin' ! know FIR tn
civic ideel is to have an alarm clock
in ye'er room on iliction day. He be-
lieves young men shud be equipped
with courage. discipline, an loftiness
iv purpose; so I suppose Packy, If
he wint there, wud listen to lectures
firm tn professor iv courage. an Eras-
mus H. Noodle, doctor iv loftiness iv
purpose. loft, ye loft, he lofts. I've
always felt We needed some wan to
teach our young tn courage they can't
get walkin' home in TIL dark, an 'th
| loftiness iv purpose that doesn't start
with bein' hungry an lookin' f'r wur-
| ruk. Tn only trouble with TIL coorse
is that whin Packy comes out loaded
with loftiness iv purpose, all th' lofts
is full iv men that had to figure it
out on tn farm"
ssT DON'T understand a wurrud iv
/ what ye're sayin'." said Mr.. Hen
messy.
NO more do T." said Mr.. Dooley.
But 1 believe tits as Father Kelly
says: Childher shudden't be slnt to
school to larn, but to larn how to
larn. don't care what ye larn thin
so long as tits unpleasant to thim.'
'Tis tfrainin' they need. Hinnissy.
That's all. I niver cud make use iv
what I larned in colledege about
thrigojoomethry an'-an'-grammar.
an tn welts got on tn skull firm
the schoolmasther's cane have niv-
YER been able to turn to amy account
in tn business. but twas tn bein'
there and havin' to get things to
heart without askin' tn meanin' iv
thin, an goin' to school cold an
comm home hungry, that made tn
man iv me ye see befure you.'
That's why tn good woman's
throubled about Packy." said Hen
messy.
Go homs,~ said Mr.. Dooley.
(Copyrixht. 1o30l
Evening star., 1922-12-10
YEAR BY YEAR, AS I STAND
HERE. MY DOCS Is GETTING
LESS FLATTER."

ped a few less hump backed liners to
this little lyric:
MY name is George Bambino
Ruth,
And I'll crack this next one
past Duluth"
As far as the football boys IS con-
serned they's many a game might CT
came out different If some Coue dis
ciple had convinced himself tina. to
save his blest immortal soul he
couldn't miss that easy goal.
* xx
DCT outside OF auto suggesting .
ID little zip into the near beer the
thing that I would most prefer to
have my imagination do for me if IL
was possible would be to have it act
as a barber and I would not mind re-
peating a extra long verse one or
more times a day IL it would save me
from ever removing another whisker
or setting still q 1-2. hr. vile a dusky
wop trimmed what 1 laughingly call
my hair. I would say:
MY boy, there's not the slight
est trace
OF beard upon thy handsome
face,
Vile as regards that head OF
hair.
Amt thou just left the barber
chair?"
That is what I would say IL ]
thought 1t would do any good.
But even when 1t comes to c0ring
disease Emile admits that they's
kinds of people who his scheme won
work on. One of them 10 skeptics and
the other kind is people that 10 feeble
minded and I would not be surprised
il I was both.
RING w. LARNER.
Graet Neck. Long Island. Dec. s.
Evening star., 1922-12-10
Lardner Would Try Coue
On Beer, Boards, Base Ball

II can hit them straight, l can
hit them far,
And I'll make this hole in two
under par"
Ny friends the Yankees might ce
give me a little better run for ny-
dough too IL some Of the boys had OF
the plate. Like for inst. the lead-ott
man could of said:
I'm going to make a three
base hit
As sure as my name is Whitey
Witt"
And the Babe himself might OF slap
Evening star., 1922-12-10

Ten
Million "IohT Prohibition Wine ndustyWfy
NevrC ConeI Into
Evening star., 1922-12-10

Charlie Chaplin has obtained an in
junction against an imitator. Why
didn't he do that two or three years
ago when everybody in the family
from the baby to grandpa was doing
the Chaplin walk:-Kansas City Star.
Evening star., 1922-12-10
no the editor: I don't suppose
they's very many readers that
ain't heard by this time about


DR.. Emile Coue the French
doc that cures people Of all kinds Of
ailments by what he calls auto sug-
gestions which don't mean what kind
| of car you should ought TO buy but
il means that he makes you keep tell
| ing yourself that You are Q. X. and
after a vile YOU begin to believe it
! and then of course they Amt nothing
the matter with you no more.
His dope is that a PERSONS imagi-
nation is stronger than their mind or
their body or anything else and IL
they can learn to use 1t right. why
they's no sense in them being sick.
That is Emile's idear and personly
/ don't know how good 1t works only
from hear say as I have not had
nothing in the way Of q ailmert to
try it out on but the doc has win him.
self big following on. both sides of
the old pond and they must be some
thing in his scheme judging from the
number Of people that claims to Of
been cured.
The way I understand it is that
somebody comes down sick with fall
ing arches or something and they call
in Emile and he says what is the
matter with you and they say have
got falling arches.
Then he looks them right in the eye
and says you amt got no more fall
ing arches than Ann Pennington and
he makes YOU say it over to yourself
a certain number Of times a day, My
arches. amt falling, my arches amt
falling" only he genally always
makes it up into a rhyme SO as it will
be easier to learn and you will have
more fun saying it.
Like for inst. II they amt nothing
special the matter with you only that
you are just sick, he makes you keep
repeating:
DAY by day, in every way,
1 am getting better and better"
1 suppose if your case did happen
to be falling arches you would ba
told to recite:
Year by year as. as I stand here.
My dogs is getting less fatter."
And probably in q little vile they
would be room for a giraffe to walk
under your instep with only a slight
stoop.
IF this scheme was really as good as
they say it Is. why it certainly
would confer a boom on humanity,
but it seems to me like it would be
even nicer if it worked in other
| n haS
a great many of us that amt hardly
ever sick You might say and vile we
have got heart and would like to
see other people cured. still and all
it is kind Of tough that We can't get
some good out Of it personly.
Like fur inst I would like to set
right down at this table with a glass
Of near beer in my hand and get my
self all steamed up by just repeating:
what I've got here is real
old beer.
And I'm feeling per cent bet
ter"
And I know many men and women
Of both sexes that would pay a for
tune to Emile or anybody else that
could learn them to take of 10 to 100
lbs. without no moro effort than to
get up every A. NJ. and recite some
verse like
"rI eat q big breakfast and
I"ll eat a big dinner.
But I'm going to keep on get
ting thinner mad thinner"
To say nothing about we thousands
of not so good golf players that would
not half to pay no more $1,000 per
hr. teachers to tell US what is the
matter but all as We would half to do
would be to stand up on each tee and
murmur:
Evening star., 1922-12-10

SO ye needn't unblanket thim.' says.
I won't put thin through amy exer-
else today says. But whisper,
Mary Ellen rays l, Don't ye niver
feel like bastin' tn seeraphims? 'Th'
teachin's iv Freebull and Pitzotly is
contrary to that she says. But I'm
goin' to be marrid an lave tn school
on Choosdah, TIL twinty -sicond iv
Janooary.' she says. an on Mondah.
th' twinty first, I'm goin' to ask a
few iv tn little darlin's to tn house
an she says, stew thin over slow
fire. she says.
ssIX1ELL. afther they have larned in
w school what they ARE licked
rr larnin' in th' back yard-that Is,
squashin' mud with their hands
they're conducted up through a chan
mel iv free an beautiful thought till
they're r-ready f'r colledge. Mamma
packs a few doylies an tides into
sons bag, an some silver to be used
in case iv throuble with tn landlord,
an tn la-ad throts of to tn SINH
nary. II he's not strong enough to
look fr high honors as a middle
weight pugilist he goes into tn
thought departmint. Th' prisidint
takes him into q Turkish room, gives
him q cigareet an says: Me dear boy,
what special branch iv larnin' wud ye
like to have studied f'r ye be our
compitint professors? We have q
chair iv beauty, an wan iv puns, an
wan iv pothry on tn changin' hues
fv the settin' sun. an wan on platonic
love, an wan on, nonsense rhymes,
an wan on sweet thoughts. an wan
on how green grows tn grass. an
wan ON tn relation iv ice to. tn
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1922-02-22
The Truth About
Washington and
His Ratchet
10y WILLIAM D.. BARTON

Tho Gcorgc Washington hatcher
story has become a JOKE. one
rarely honr- u referred 20 except
In terms Of hilarity. But II u ~
of "a very few stories that have
como down 80 ~ concerning th'
youth 81 Washington, and II ~
not IN all respects unworthy either
81 crcdence ~ respcc-.
Tho original little natchet atory
comes 10 Us from the pen 81 Rev.
Masin l. Woems "A friend or
Washington, and for a lime rec
tor % Pohlck church, where
Washington attended He wrote
several books, the most famous OF
which r. his Life OF Washing
ton The first edition was q
pamphlet of " pages, which app
poared In 1900, very shortly after
tho denih 81 Washington. II grew
into o. sizabie little book OF 2Ai
paEes IL ran through 20 y more
editions.
Lee Praises Book.
Wecms was the friend not only
~ the Washington family. hut
also NJ ihe Lees and otiier noted
" rsinia people The 1.-THE page OF
biz book hears this testimonial
from General Leei Light Horac
tfsfry" OF the Revolutionary army,
the irilmate friend Of Wishing
/ ton.
Tho author has treated this
great subject with admirable sue
ross iu "a new way lie turns All
th" actions OF Washington 90 the
onrouragCncnt OF virtue. hy u
rnrcfal application OF numerous
. Ha.WHanHH.A #La.. LWnHuHa -. Tho
conduct OF the founder 81 our re-
public from hts earliest life"
That is virtually TO say that
General Ice ana other Intimate
frienir NJ Washington admired
This suited old biography for the
very qualities which have caused
us to ridicuie u.
20 IL in~teresting 10 perlse tho
story OF the little hutchet pre-
cisoly ms I'arson Wcems wrote u.
Having rola ed how the fatEor
81 George was very careful 20
irlin him In habits OF truthful
lrvs with cinssic parallel reSar-
nee. tu Ulysses ana Icicmuchus,
Dc says; a
Sowing Good seed.
T1.s yuul say. was sowing
gYa' .rsdf-.Hrs. o. 81 and the
. .-.". ..."H|NL NHN.N. N|"" |" NNNNN =
b. ever Will Doe. whore "a man acts
the run pnrcu,. lint BE-. the guar
dIHu angel hN his child
~, following auocdote Is q case
Boo point 10 b. too valuable 20 b,
lost, and too true 10 DE doubted
l"r U WE communicate go mt
Dos Gao Hlar excellent lady l.,
whom ! avn indebted Tor the last
when George snii she. was
about q years old. he wts made
Go" wealthy master Of Il Ratchet.
% wlich like most sttlo hOys. he
VINE immoderutcly fond ana was
cons antly going about cnoppinf
cNrry'hinr that came In hIs way
zone day. in the garden. where
Poo often amused himself hacking
hls mothers pea-sticL.s. he Wr-
luckily tried the edge OF hi
hntchot az the body Of a beautiful.
young English cherry tree. which
nc hurkvd 80 terribly that dom
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1922-02-22

For short distances the salmon
believed TO be tho fastest fith
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1922-02-22
Red Riding Hood"
Actors Eager for
Performance Night

boys ana sifE Whn are 10
lng and act in the operottn. -fit-
d Red Riding Hood" which MIn
elizabeth Bradford - preparing
pr presentation next Monday
liEht. are reported 20 be 30 fun
u enthusiasm that they can hard
n sleep, 80 eager are thcyt FOR the
big night" To arrive.
| The other afternoon q bevy 81
ittle singers invaded the business
Iction with plncards OF their
pow. thus giving business men
lnd others n chance 10 realize that
lc orcrcttu Is near M hand.
Buster Harden, us the Wolf Is
n times crazy ana beguiiing
|nd ct other times qulfe spro-
oua When the Woodmnu comes
BIO Grandma cottage and Kills
Ne Wolf lusj aH be 81 about to
|evaur the RED Riding Hood" %
nuine thrill Is produced.
I Little Douglas Genke. who sing
be- title part. is very clever. She
ngs and acts the role with much
Rama lie and vocal power and
bake a sweet and appealing ap-
.|rarluce. The uperetfn cuufainH
lany special solos and dances aud
|,me excellent chorus parts. ospe-
aily cute betting the chorus OF
tile hiuebirds
These are tiny tots from 3 years
to o, led By little Mary Imo-
me Terry who has no smuull
mount 81 talent Many grown
b.. AZ wel as children. are look
forward 20 the evening Of tho
ow.
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1922-02-22


iolafo the trco cvrr gut better
OF a, Thc noXt morninr the old
gcn iemuu finding what had
tefallen his tree. which. by fho
wo. wls % great f%avnr'te. came
Into the house: mud with much
warmth asked for fne miHchisVuuH
lWfh1r. declaring at the sdmc
Iuo that be would not have tukun
t.r ruiueaa Tor u.
/ Tough question.
Presently George and h'
uHtcnet made their appearance
George. said his father, do you
know who killed That beautiful
lit'le cherry tres yonder IN the
strlen"
This was q tough question: and
George staggered under 90 for n
moment: but, quickly recovering
himself and looking 81 his father
with the swect face q youth.
frightened with the l-ncxpreasihlo
charm OF aii-conquoriuE truth. he
bravely cried out--I can't toll q
ilr n1; YOU know ! cunt Tell q lie.
I dld 10 with my hntciet
Run 10 ms arms, you dearest
boy cried hls father iff trans
ports, % 70 my nrmFi glad am
] George that you killed my
tree; for you have paid mo a
thousand fold. such an net ~
hrruiam IN ms son e. worth moro
than o. thousand trecs huueh
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1922-02-22
War Diary Tells of
Washington as a Leader
iBy NIih Service.

HlOoNINgTDN ~. Fob. "a
a little. we'll worn diary. ulmust
faded out ~ places. still tells the
real story % the love Of Ccurge
Washington men FOR their COM
mnder-in-cnief. during the Iievo-
lutiuunry war.
This war history. kept up day
b. dny during the sovcn.ycnr battle
hy Samuel Davis. a fifcr and drum
NOR later under the direct com
mnHd OF WaHhinFton-nu now he
longs ia his daughter. Mrs. Jose
phtno Wpdetzty. % Logan county.
Recalls War Stories.
Mrs. Wodetzky o. n real nughter
of the American Revolution. She
has just celebrated her ninety
third birthday and she vaguely re-
calls some Of :he stories about
Washington that her father told
her when she was a little girl.
shortly after being accepted us
n drummer. she said. my father
wns transferred to the command
~ General Price. In those days
there were NO reserves and every
man available for duty was az the
front practically all the Time.
My father told mo that most 81
NIM NfNHN WIZ WIN INV MNANH fA
which George Washington was the
direct commander and that he IA.
thus able to get q direct line on
the great heart % Washington and
hi compassion FOR his soldiers.
Loved Their Leader.
AN these soldiers, father said
we're always ready 10 endure any
hardship 10 Washington said tho
wort The patriotic coluuists loved
their leader to % point almost APP
preaching ldoiatry
1t wuH the privilege ~ my IA
thor To gcfvo ms orderly Tor WASH
ington and when CORVALLIS sur
rendered his army to the Wash
ington forces ct Yorktown. ending
tlc great struggle fur freedom. DE
stood within a fvw PAGES NJ Wash
lngtun lie Witnessed Washing
tons acceptance Of the British
lenders sword
Mrs Wodetzky says she has for