New-York tribune., 1922-07-30

mon-"greater is he that ruleth
h,s spirit than he that tsketh city"
"Fair In the eyes Of Allah"-oh, princes
and pashas Of the Faith, 80 speaketh the
goran-"is he who warreth against himself
and conquereth"
Great, therefore, oh, emirs and hadii all.
vas Will ibn Hearst, the Sheik ul Islam, and
fair was he in the eyes of the Ruler of the
Three Worlds,
Give ear, then, warriors and merchants, all
who heed daily the calls of the muezzins to
prayer, to the thousand and ffty-eghth tale,
told by the Sutana Shsrazad for the delecta-
ton of her lord, Shahryar, king of kings even
he tale of the Sheik ul Islam and how with
wrenching of soul and mighty warfare of
heart he not only ruled his fiery spirit, nay,
but also subjugated and defeated it in it's
pride and nominated himself for Sultan of the
realm. Bsmillah. Hearken
For it came to pass in the fifth year of
the Profit when the winds of the Silly Sea-
son blew through the streets and the market
places of the city, that all men stood in aston
shrnent and marvelled while the good Caliph
Hy-lan and the Shcik ul Islam, Will ibn
Hearst strove in courtesy one against the
ether, abiding, though the conflict was fierce,
by the rules of the Marquis of Chesterfield
For the good Caliph with the small aid of
lis scrbes, launched mighty screed against
lis Sheik, calling upon him to be Sultan and
proclaiming to the world his own unworthi-
ness Of so great an honor.
Yet though the great Sheik reeled at the
force Of the argument, he rallied his failing
resolution and replied with left hand epistle
10 the ear of his adversary, calling upon the
CaliphS to be leader of the war to topple the
Sultan Nathan the Curious from the throne
and reign there in his stead. Also, ne cried
aloud like mourner in the market place his
own unftness for such high office and hailed
The good Hy-lan as the salvation Of his people.
Sore smitten by this missivs was the
doughty Calph, and dazzled were his eyes by
The spectacle of power that the Sheik drew
Yet remained he stalwart and unsubdued and,
tsinting the Sheil1 ul Islam into position de-
Gvered a potent renunciation to the ribs, sum
moning Will ibn Hearst, in the name of Islam,
to take up the green banner of the Faith and
lead in the holy war.
And the force of that blow smote the foun-
tain pen from the hand Of Will and the world
grew dark before him SO that he had scarce
strength to grasp the black turban of his
rank and, placing it upon his head, to sally
forth and seek the palace Of the Caliph
Then when they were come face to face, the
two mighty dealers in self-sacrifce each fell
upon the others neck and wept, and those
who witnessed the meeting also shed tears for
divers reasons. And when the floor had been
mopped and all was in order again. Will ibn
Hearst spake to his friend, saying: "Great
Of heart and adjacent territory, thy pleas
have touched me to the core. Would that they
had affected the people-whom we are both
for and against the Interests-in similar
fashion. Behold, once more for the benefit of
visiting newspaper men, 7 urge thee to be
Sultan of the realm"
Then beat the good Caliph his chest and
cried In a mighty voice: eff you don't want
II, Will, don't want it."
Then rent Will ibn Hearst his garments
and sent forth to the courthouse excavation
for ashes to pour upon his head. And he
lamented in a loud voice and made to take his
departure. And when the good Caliph asked
Of him whittier he Jared, he spake, saying:
Behold, go to my home to battle with my
proud spirit and mortify my flesh and over
come my unwilingness. Farewell, oh Caliph,
for through thy resolve l go to offer myself
as a sacrifice. Yea, all night long shall Will
ibn Hearst strive to induce his naughty soul
to accept the nomination"
So departed he weeping, and those who saw
especially those who had read the sundry
statements prepared by the Sheik ul Islam for
the press-marvelled.
So it came about that while the good Caliph
safe amazed and wondered whether he had
spoken out Of turn, and while the great and
good friend of the Sheik ul Islam, Conners
Bey, sought through the length and breadth
Of the realm for one who would consent to
te The Original Hearst Man, that Wilt ibn