davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1922-07-02
GRANDPAP MUGG

THOR many years my family is much handicapped in
getting in society back in my old home town out
Il West because of my Grandpap Mugg.
It is not that anybody has anything in particular against
him personally, he is a fine old pappy guy in every
respect but it is account Of tho things he pulls off,
which most embarrassing to and ALL and especially
to my family.
You take my sister, Matty for instance and you will find
talk to her much that she in favor of city law
against my Grsndpap Mugg because he embarrasses her
something scandalous and furthermore her lose
of the best prospects she has in the Of
everlovng husband.
My sister Matty is certainly very indignant about my
Grandpap Mugg and nobody blame her. at that, be-
she does not have prospects for everovng
husbands that she afford lose them In fact my
old often it looks to have Matty left
hanging the old family what with her being any
too young, and not good looking that notice it.
But of course Maty very lovely girl, and K. o. in
every respect and has fine character and all this Fur
hermore she cook biscuits pretty fair if anybody
is looking for loving wife, hope and trust they
will not take anything say about Matty a rap.
Well, sir who comes visiting to my old home town
time but guy by the of Lord Bloomsbury, who
enough Lord yonder in England and has tho
papers to it, if He is not much to look at
The Washington times., 1922-07-02

breezy, bobbed.haired, and bobbed.
skirted flapper,
Tomorrow are We soing 70 have
q Prudence, mouthing prnnes and
prtsms to make her mouth set
proper. occupying the stage, oentsr
frontf
Mrs. Gardner believes this to be
true. With sixirts coming down
and they are really coming
down - moral standards, II IL
claimed, are going up, Ne longer
are 80 many pretty lips seen pro-
pellins blue spiral heavenward--
at least net in public,
II got to be so common. don't
you know-everybedy was smok.
Ing the naughty weed In restau.
rants and hotel lobbies-that Il
The Washington times., 1922-07-02
By GEORGE AIDE

In the Case until she wrlthed
among the Rugs.
Neither did he lure the Destroyer
to a Private Apartment and cut
him into Cubes, which the same Is
being done In Latin Countries.
Joe was slow but Cooney. He
had not operated In the hard-faced
world Of Barter and Gain all tnese
years without learning to be soma
what of a Weasel.
He told his Partner that II she
wanted to call all Bets off and DC
clare q new Book. he would oe
Game.
He still loved her and wanted to
keep on paying her Bills but II
she insisted on q Decree, she was
the Doctor.
Then he hunted up Mr.. Fosbrook
and told him to stop trembling
and there wouldn't be any Scandal.
The great Wrong which no
Goe) had committed, whom he
dragged Dffie out Of the Pantry,
would be rishted Just a. soon rs
the Future Husband had . Bank
Roll that could stand up whom
Wife began reading the Ads IN
the Paper.
Joe had no real Intention Of cut.
ting loose.
Effis might throw an occasional
Tantrum and even Eot fun around
the wsist.Ldne ana show . Chin.
but she was his for Keeps,
Joe waa . one.woman specialist.
There are . few Of them isft,
The poor ieft.handed Loon had
tried 10 compete. with willis
ton Fcsbrook In the Field Of Litera,
ture, Music. Art and lew-srade Par,
Jour Bunk and he had Died stand,
ing up.
His only chance was to enter
Mr., Fosbreek In some Event which
would reveal the Lady's Pet an
. False Alarm,
The Washington times., 1922-07-02

Ventions within It's understanding,
youth bows far lower than middle.
age ever thinks of doing"
And that youth is really be.
ginning to understand the why's
and wherefores Of modern conven.
tlons is the optimistic point that
Mrs. Gardner is trying to make
when she says that II Is becom.
ing fashionable to be mid.yic.
terian.
All Of the parents leagues, col.
iege professors, ciergymen, who
are fighting flapperism may be
calmed by this announcement
Like all fads and fashions. inciud.
ing flapperism, the idea will
eventually percoiate down to the
masses Of femininity.
The Washington times., 1922-07-02

So he induced Mr.. Fosbrook to
Invest and Promote. Z,
TURNED MONEY-MAD.
He put the Neophyte into q
couple OF Good Things and had
him Money.Mad In less than no
time. 1t never failed yet.
After Mr.. Fosbrook had been
made director Of q Company. be.
cause Of his Social Prominence.
Joe gave him q quiet Steer.
"If you wear the Orchid. and the
Tortoise-SheIl Specs with Ribbon
attached. and the spats, and the
hair draping the Collar, all the
other Directors will look at you
askance and not let you in on the
Dividends" said Joe. "If you are
crafty you win lay off tho Low
Comedy Effects for . while and be
Q regular Human Being"
So Mr.. Fosbrook put on Cit.
sen's Clothes and had his hair cut,
after which he looked like q Sales
man in the Shoe Department.
When the notorious High Brow
got lnto q Norfolk Jacket and
spotted -Four in Hand and the ortii-
nary S1o Lid that can be purchased
for IS anywhere except on the
Avenue. he lost all Charm, all
Distinotion-ail Of that elusive and
Intangible somsthingness which
differentiates the Early Rose from
tho Eariy Rose Potato,
In other words an Author b an
Author until he starts cut 10 be
a Captain Of Industry,
He won't 10 sec Effis and tell
her that ne had braved Pubic
Opinion and gone into Trade,
Effie took one lock at him and
told him he was Wrong, He had
not gone into Trade, He had zone
into the Discard,
Neral, Many an Aviator would
lock- foolish Saving Wood,
tospyrisht, 1883, hy Bali svndio.,. ,,,
The Washington times., 1922-07-02

doesn't even have the thrill Of
being naughty any moro.
Are chaperons going to be
tolerated again by the younger
set7
Are petting parties to be fore
sworn foreverf
Is Mrs. Grundy really going to
be re-enthroned In youthful 30.
cietyf
These questions and mere crowd
In, Mrs. Gardner claims that even
the younger set Is beginning to
see that Mrs. Grundy is not such
a bad sort after ALL
Mrs. Grundy," says Mrs. Gard.
ner. Is an expression typifying
the unwritten social laws which
The Washington times., 1922-07-02

doing up the Dishes every Evs-
ming. he might have done her q
lot Of Good by tipping It off to
her that she was getting no worse
than an Even Break.
But Joe never held out for the
F1fty-Fifty Clause. He was will.
ing to let It 90 Ninety-Ten.
He said repeatedly that he was
the luckiest Lad In an the World
and Effio believed him and began
to order GarmentA
Joe was strong for the oh line
of Honey-Drip about the Sturdy
Oak and Ciinsing vine-
He believed that every Man was
put on Earth to be . 0etter for
the Mother Of his Children.
whether they had any or not.
EFFTE MEETS MEN Who"
Effie used him a. . sort Of Der.
rick for lifting Obstacles out Of
her Pathway.
He was what any Public Utilities
Company would call the Trouble
Man.
This Arrangement Just SUITED
him. He considered It . privilege
to be tho Typical American Hus-
band.
It was Hard Lines for nffia
sitting IN the littie old Apartment
for Hours at . Stretch wearing
principally . Kimono ana . lot Of
Talcum Powder and reading Books
that were touted TO her By the
Lady across the Hallway.
Effie was stealthily approaching
the Realm Of Literature by way Of
the Best Sellers.
Up to the time she lsft the
Beanery she was never sure Of
Anything unless she saw Il In the
Evening Paper, but before she had
been in the Apartment q year she
began to have Culture Pains
Fortunately, Joe's Income grew
with her expanding Ambitions. 90
that after she had been q Bird in
the Gilded Cage for Five ycars,
The Washington times., 1922-07-02

white lace mits and everything.
The pendulum swings-in femi-
nine dress, morals and manners
from one extreme to the other.
d Yesterday the world was af.
flicted with the sinking, slouch-
ing, debutante modelled on the
Theda Bara vamp typo. with
eyesockets painted In blue shadows
and carmine lips startlingiy vivid
upon a pale powdered face. Yes
tcrday's debutante siouched In
her clinging curve-reveaiins skirts
or reclined vamp-wise upon q
chaise-lounge. memorizing "a Fool
There Was"
The dogs Of war chased the
debutante and her anemic slouch
off the stage and ushered In the
The Washington times., 1922-07-02

she had two Servants In addition
to tho Nurse for Gwendolyn. and
was pulling Dinner Parties and
getting next to . lot Of Interesting
People who had Done Things.
It never occurred to her that Joe
was among those who had shown
Class.
He was merely thSProvider for
what was getting to be IN swtuliy
nifty Establishment.
No wonder that the Lady who
now signed herself Evalesn F'risbie
Pnkins regarded him a. Q Spingo
and often blamed him for hanging
tho Moniker Of Pirlzins on to her
and cumming up her Career.
She could not help but compare
him with wfniston Fosbrooit.
with whom she was -Carousins
several times . week.
Mr.. Fosbrook had inherited tust
enough Income TO keep him In
Shredded Wheat and Fiossy Neck.
ties. 30 he was around deciaiming
against Materialism.
Mr.. Fosbrook was an Almost.
Between Macaroons he could dis.
miss. by . Wave of the Hand. nine
tenths Of the Modern Painters and
al Novslists
He was . Cream Puff that should
have bean served Day before Yss-
terday.
Joe rot his Number ne first
time he caught him hanging
around and classed him a. an On.
fortunate Incident. the same a. q
Smoky Flus or . busted Water
Pipe.
Joe had heard Of Home-wreckers
but he was willing to taloe
Chance on . Male Nanny who
carried the Handkerchief under the
Cuff.
GAG GETS TO EFFIE.
While Old Reliable was dowa at
the Office trying to steal enough
Dough to keep Dearie in Society,
the Trouble-Maker was mp At the
The Washington times., 1922-07-02

~ EMURB. wholly decorous
damseis are slowly but
~ surely displacing the flip
pant flapper.
It's fashionable to be mid
Victorian now.
So maintains Mrs. Ruth KIM
ball Gardner. Of the social morality
department. of the W. c., T. U.
She claims the reaction trans
forming the female fledgling, the
erstwhile flapper, has already SET
in. The idea has spread, It was.
pointed out. to the big town." ard
Miss Margaret Wilson. prima
donna Of New York's Winter
Garden. is displaying gowns in the
Victorian model-bouffant skirts,
The Washington times., 1922-07-02

being somewhat old and dusty, without teeth but he
is q real Lord all right, and nobody can deny ii.
This Lord Bloomsbury piece of gold mine not far
from old home town. and he there to take peek
it, to there is any gold in it, which Of there
is not II there is any gold mines around my old home
town citizens will be using it themselves and sell
ing the mines to Lords
Anyway, this Lord Bloomsbury stays In my old home
town quite time and naturally he pretty much
Of STIR what with having very few, if Lords
before and not figuring to many at that Every
body entertaining him and about especially when
that he bachelor, and what happens but he
The Washington times., 1922-07-02

my sister Maty at the country club, SUCH
and takes quite a fancy to her.
Nobody quite figure this, although my old says
that maybe the Lord is somewhat blind but naturally my
sister May is much pleasured up and the way she goes
after the Lord is nobody's business.
hear afterwards the Lord thinks Mugs very
rich people, and he not very dirty when he first
in with money he is looking around what is what
Anyway all chuckng terrible swell, and
bodxsround joint gets much to eat in their
lives as when Lord Bloomsbury is hanging around.
My Grandpap Mugg is not in town while all this is going
on, being out ranch in the country looking after
The Washington times., 1922-07-02
NCT there was . heavy-draft
Employee named Joe.
He came direct from Stub

~ NCE there was . heavy-draft
Employee named Joe.
~ He came direct from Stub
BILE to . largo Mercantile Plant.
All Of the Hall Dancers employed
In the Department with Joe re-
sarded him an q Mush- cad because
he never watched the Clock.
He was q good deal Of q Swozzds
but when the Lean years came and
some ono had to be dropped
through the Hatchway. old moon,
faced Joe got his promotion just
when the wise Jimmies got the
Sidewalk
Joe had plans and they were
founded on tho orthodox Dope
He knew that every Man salted
away the Kopecks SO that he
could provide . Home for . re-
spectacle Femala
Joe lived at . Cold Storage DIS.
pensary. His Alphabet stoup and.
Bread Pudding were dropped in
front Of him by the Landlady's
Daughter, whose name was Effie
and who weighed close on to 1s5
pounds
To the unsophisticated Joseph.
who had Just olumb out Of . Hay
Now. she looked Ike . oo-1bina-
ton Of Geraldine Farrar In the last
Act and Katherine Macdonald
Joe looked to her IKE . Bush.,
sf Oats untfl he began to pull
down At the Works, when she fell
b the Fact that they were harbor.
ing . Lve One.
Joe and EffIe wsrs married by q
cute little Minister and they began
the long Hike with the Understand.
ing that she had stepped out from
her Station In Life and conferred
some kind Of precious Boon on the
poor Goof.
EVEN DID DISHES.
fnasmuch as Joe had q Berth
with large and growing Concern,
and Effle had been accustomed to
The Washington times., 1922-07-02
Joe Walked In On Them. I"

Apartment, smoking Joe's 50-cent
Brevas and telling Mrs. Pillkins that
she was In Wrong.
That Sympathy Gag win got to
anyone. especially on the Or Day
The Washington times., 1922-07-02

YIyHAT group picture there is the six McGurk children
No, they're not members Of our family, but we had
IL sixteen seventeen empty pages to fill. OF course,
that destroys the family flavor. '.'. '-.'
But when we wanted smiling faces in album
had to get photographs of strangers.
Not that the McGurks strangers because used
The Washington times., 1922-07-02
By "BUGS" BAER

Then lady poked her head into the saloon and ho
Tered "Come home Vanilla" Old man McGurk flushed up
and didn't look and it was Mrs. McGurk who came In,
banged him the head with cane that used to DO an
umbrella Pop said that your namei McGurk said yes
my old lady got it out Of cook book. ~ .....
Then another lady came in and shouted for somebody
named Alhambra Pop turned redder than crime
The Washington times., 1922-07-02
BY CAROLYN VANCE

haYe been found by experience to
be ussfuf> in promoting the sue
cess Of the home, the weii.being
The Washington times., 1922-07-02
Being Victorian
Is Fashionable.

Of the family and the happiness
Of the individual"
Youth hates conventions II
does not understand, but to con.
The Washington times., 1922-07-02

He Dashed to the Corner Saloon
forks whenever had guests
who used them.
That little fellow there is Rosyn McGurk. No, he ism
trpets Those things alongside of his head his
Old man McGurk a hardworking man, but his wife
read novels by Mario Corei and Charles Garvice Her
The Washington times., 1922-07-02

when the most loyal Wife wonders
II she wouldn't have done better
by waiting q few Weeks and TAX.
ing another look around.
Mr.. Fosbrook had Effie con-
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1922-07-17

behavior, Sergeant Miles. that
lecture was the most hit eous
stravesty fmaginab1et Had III been
sheer drivels itswouldn't have been
SO bad but It was clever satire.
ridicu1ing the archaeological dis
scoyeries Of recent years The
audience didn't know whether to
laugh or to feel affronted at his
insult to their iutelE gence. III
The next day no one told me
anything until Mr. Gray1e cane
over. It was awful - -
Who is Mr. Grayle ?' queried
the d elective. "a 5$4s
q neighbor naturalist
Patricia respond ed. He and I'm
Gle Roger have been great friends
ever since he bought The Rose
Tree, next to the Kemp estate
s She paused. and a deeper flush
suffused her face. Sergeant
Miles glanced at the attorney who
smiled and nodded almost i'm
What was your uncle's ex--
PLANTATION - "A. CIT.
HE made none She shrug-
ged. He looked dreadfu1ly worn
and i'll but he was as digniffed as
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1922-07-17

SshsSsentS w$houseman!ss
Sergeant Miles announced
blue eyes opened very
wild
Ii, could you 81 she breathe
st want an. assistant outside as
we'll" interrupted the detective
you say that a gardener is need
ed, too ~ Ss5.
You---you don't know any de-
tective who is a gardener. too, do
you
II know the very mani" Sergeant
Miles exclaimed with enthusiasm
Patricia glanced from one serious
face to the other. 4.
Then you don't think it is Just
that they're losing their minds, my
father and-and my. uncles You
don't think my aunt will be the
next to go and then-perhaps-
She faltered once more but her
meaning was sunmistakab1e, and al
though the attorney was discreetly
silent he laid one slim, blue-veined
hand upon her arm reassurtngly-
(Continued In Our Next Issue
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1922-07-17
Ut M. and mrs. John Gerkin;Ein'
Liberty ls$
IICasy,arss Ron
aWefneI.a Roast.

Nv
u Prof. Frank White and g
tnumber OF the Boy Scout mem
bes had an enjoyable out1n g last
Friday evening VIII ZEN they jour
neyed to the old Metz house, west
or the city, and enjoyed a camp
IRE supper. The evening was
spent in games and story telling.
The party was composed Of Ned
5Merrifeld. Richard Pitzer, Fred
!Gerkin, Charles Richmond, Lloyd
Carroll and RyIad White and
Prof. Frank White
TO Omit Meeting.
The members of the Ladies'
Senior Bible Glass will omit their
regular Getting this month but
will probably hold an outing of
some Kind instead. This was de-
cfded Sunday morning when the
su bject Of a meeting place was
discussed. is
Attended Picnic.
Mr.. and Mrs. John Am brose
and son Colin, Mrs. e. e. Hinkle
and children, Mrs. r.. T. Hun
saker and daughter Mildred,
Charles Balm bridge and Robert
Hunsaker attended the Presby-
terrain picnic at Kingmont Grove
last Thursday.
Grandfather Dies.
Mr.. and Mrs. Curtis Brumage
and children were at Metz the
last Of the week where they We're
called to attend the funeral Of. the
formers grandfather, Nathan
Tucker, who died after. an illness
Of several months. Mr.. Tucker
was so years old. He is survived
by several children.
Planning Visit.
Mrs. Fred Merritield and chill
5dren, Gertrude and Walter are
planning to leave in 9 short time
for Kansas where they will visit
the latter's mother. Mrs. Cherry.
Returned Hom.;.
Mrs Edna Russell left few
days ago for home in Detroit,
Mich. Mrs Russell was called
here on account Of the illness and
death of her brother, Porter F'aw.
cett, and remained for a visit with
, H. 4. q l. a.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1922-07-17

srS ss:VZ5O4
7 / 4 Z III ~
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1922-07-17

herEparentsssA1 Mr. and MS 81
SEawcett sn Observation-Disclosures

her N1rs and NJ Ms a.
sEawceft s1 Pennsy1vaniaa Avenue
3 Doors Service sssSS
Both the Epworth I4eaguesand
preaching services 9Weressh held on
the church lawn Of the Highland
Avenue Church yesterday even
ing. While the HOT weather con-
ttnues there Will be no morning
sermon in this church.
The Sunday school will make
use Of the extra time.
Home From Motor Trip. A
Mr.. and Mrs. Manser Swiger
and Vernon Parker. who have
been members OF an automobile
party that have toured the west
ern states and Canada for the
past five weeks, arrived nome Sat
urday.
Personals.
Mrs Bert Tones and children,
RUBY Fern and Rex. and little
niece, Parsieg Bowers, left yester-
day for visit With the formers
parents, Mr. and Mrs. 4 gustus
Shreeve OF Littleton-
Mrs. Belle Price has returned
home from a recent visit with re-
1atives in Wilsonburg
Mrs. W.. E. Dennis was the
guest of her aunt, Mrs. Bell NC
Clelen of Warrington, the last Of
the week.
Mrs. Harry Moore and little
sons. Harold and Jarvis, are
spending several days with rels-
tiyes in GAINESVILLE, Ohio.
Mrs. Thurman Davis Of Rives-
Vile has been spending the past
few days with her mother, Mrs.
Margaret Williams of Pennsyl-
vania avenue.
MT. and Mrs. Fred Workman,
who have been living in Ecllview
avenue have leased the Smith
property in Buffalo avenue and
will move to their new home III
a few days.
Mrs. e. B. Little and daughter
Eloise nave returned from Wheel
ing where they spent several days.
Mr.. and Mrs. Charles Hood and
children Of Liberty avenue were
guests OF Mr.. and Mrs. Bennett of
Monongah the last Of the week.
Mr.. and Mrs. n. F. Foley anc.
little daughter, Mary Jane, OF
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1922-07-17

ever and merely said that he re-
GREETED his discourse had not met
with the approval Of his hearers
( On Saturday when the paper came
out there was perfect furore; the
editor intimated that the lecture
was the work of disordered mind
and recalled fathers Grafton before
the soldiers monument, insinuating
that they had both, fallen victims to
some strange ALTERATION. In the
very face OF it Aunt Jerusha made
me go to church with her yester-
day and 1 never thought could go
through such an agony Of mortifi-
cation!
II made up my mind / would
come to see you today, and then
when Uncle Andrew was found this
morning.!
3 She broke off once more as
though too overcome to continue
The detective and attorney glanced
at each other before the latter re-
marked: Il la ME-
Go on, my child. Tell the Ser
geant exa ctly what you told me"
EARLY this morning, Edward the
houseman found Uncle Andrew sit
ting on the drawing room floor in
his pajamas playing like a child
with some ornaments which he had
taken from the cabinet and mantel,
and whep. he saw Edward he ran
toward him on all tours growing as
though he were pretending to be
some kind OF an animal. Edward
has never gotten over being she'll
shocked. This morning was the
last straw and he gave Immediate
notice, So Aunt Jerusha sent me in
to town to engage another house
man, and a gardener. That gave me
my opportunity to come and con-
suit Mr. Wells She hesitated once
more. 81 don't know, though, what
she will say when she sees you,
Sergeant
::.she need see in me only what
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1922-07-17

fsIsr III, 40 here aavtsit
with Mrssa Foley parentsssM ~ Mt !:
and MRS He'll 81 tgnlandc
avenue Il "
~ Nj ana Mrs Hub erts enhart Of
were guests AZ the 1,s
formers aunt. ! Irs. Liam Il t g.
Layman, yesterday NJ ISIS LOU &, u
villa Lenhart Of Kingwood,sAW
has also been visiting in the lay
man famil ", accom- ;llts. q nen1
home.
MI. and Mrs. Scott Stewart OF
Riyesyille were guests of the ror:-
mer's sister, Mrs. w. Il. Hess In
Liberty avenue. vest erday.
M M. and Mrs. Guy Arnett and
children Of Littleton We're the
weekend visitors of elatives IN q
Liberty avenue .
ne Mr. and Mrs. Howard Canoe
have return ed from llsy1iie,
Ohio, where they had been the tn 2
guests Of relatives for several ''s..slll
Mrs. Earl Jordon Of Pennsyl-
vania avenue is vislt1n Mrs.
Selma Jordon, who resides near
Holly Junction, w. Va. M.
Truman Thompson and son
Junior were recent visitors OF res
latives at Salem and Clarksburg
All Richmond, who has been
attending court at Elkins for a
week, was home over the week
Jack Roberts OF PENNSYLVANIA
avenue has recently accepted
position with the Fairmont police
force.
Mr.. and Mrs. Alfred Bardman,
who have been the guests of reia-
tives in Buffalo avenue for sew
eral days returned to their home
at Bridgeport, Ohio, recently
| Miss Pearl Smith of Colfax was
the guest OF Miss Gertrude Pick
ems over the weekend.