davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1922-11-26

known her to lsavs the Office
during working hours--without
powdering her nose She has
never permitted 4 male client to
visit my office without distracting
his attention from his business to
her charms. She was In my en-
ploy for two weeks and was in
defatigsble in typewritins letters
to her friends. Hoping for .
return Of this favor, l am
ADAM PENWIPER."
Then there is the gentleman ON
Long Island who had the Swedish
hired girl who could do every
thing except cook and keep
house. She asked him for .
recommendation and, after sleep
ing over the matter, he wrote the
following character, which shs
thankfully received and used:
ITO whom It may concern:
This b to certify that Hilda
Svenson has been In my employ
nearly q month and I take great
pleasure In saying that shs ID the
tallest hired girl we have ever
had.
JOHN HoMEswEET."
Still, for al that every ID
says: "Must Have RseommeaGi-
tion0
The Washington herald., 1922-11-26
Must I Have Recommendation
NM Of the highest forms Of
humor b the average
Recommendation which Is

NNE Of the highest forms Of
humor b the average
Recommendation which Is
given TO . discharged employe
by an angry employer and which
il 20 anxiously sought by the
prospective employer.
Recommendations can say
more and mean less than any
other form of modern literature.
Most Of the people who Ing these
things around do not take time
to sit down and change them but
hand them over 20 prospective
employers in taeir virgin state.
In proof of this read the fol-
lowing which was trustingly
handed to . business man last
week By 4 stenographer, or, as It
were, a private secretary out Of
q Job. 1t was written by . man
In 4 hurry to get rid Of her:
ITO whom II may or may not
concern: The enclosed bearer,
Miss Phyllis Figtree, has been
with me for . sufficient length Of
time. As . stenographer can
pronounce her an excellent Judge
of clothes, jaza dancing and
happer slang. Al . worker, she
is an untiring conversationalist.
As to dependability, l have never
The Washington herald., 1922-11-26

that have gone wrong in the past
three years were read into one
phonograph record, this record
would be as large around - the
Aquarium.
If all the safes broken into by
yeggmen in the United States in
the past fiscal year were made
into one safe and towed out on
lighters and set in the middle of
the Atlantic Ocean, it would
sink.
II all the stamps enclosed with
manuscripts by aspiring authors
in one year were made into one
sheet of stamps it would cover
the State Of Rhode Island and, in
value, would pay the national
debt Of Bulgaria.
II an aviator should leap from
his airplane while up 4,67s feet
6 inches and should land in a
lake eighteen miles wide and 1Il
feet 9 inches deep, he would
make quite q splash.
The Washington herald., 1922-11-26
All Up for
Scrod Week

ITO assist the fshermen q
Massachusetts, % eel their
enormous catches Of serod,
oficials Of the Department Of the
Interior sxs taking the lead In
arranging . "Scrod Week" cam
paign. The chief object Of the
campaign win b b familisrise
hems foIlu with The many vir-
tues Of the scrod and 10 popular
izs this little fish with the masses.
Arrangements are being made
for parades m al the large cities
10 BE- led by the mayen Of the
various municipalitiss carrying Q
scrod % two In each hand.
Pamphlets explaining that the
scrod d but Q small cod win be
distributed In al the public
schools. Handbills win also be
circulated which win show q
cross-section Of a scrod and q
diagram Of how it is caught, play
by play.
Merchants N all lines Of busi-
ness have been asked to CO.
operate with the leaders Of the
campaign by displaying "Scrod
Week" posters. Many Of them
have signihed their willingfess
to give = scrod away with every
IS worth of merchandise. Sew
eral hundred men, dressed as
scrods, will distribute handbills.
Popular song writers win do their
share by contributing q ballad to
be sung at the various "Scrod
Week" dances. They have prom
ised the committee to rhyme the
words pod" ''hod" and sod"
but will not use the compound
word 'forty-rod," which, al
though Of New England extrae-
ton, is not considered a nice
word at This time.
In speaking of the campaign
Mr.. Mcoonf, chairman of the
committee appointed by the de-
partment, said:
"Scrod, although well-known
in Massachusetts,, are not gener-
ally popular throughout the East.
For this reason the Massachusetts,
fishermen are forced to throw
many Of them back at the close
of the season. The scrod makes
an excellent pet, being small and
durable. 1t has a very sunny dis
position As it grows older and
takes on the form Of q cod il is
readily convertible into an excel
lent fry or broil. 1t can also be
used as beverage.
Unusually favorable condi-
tions of temperature and humid
ity during the fishing season have
been responsible for an excess Of
scrod. Official estimates show
that 33,0oo,o0o scrod viii be left
over unless something is done.
This is 167 more than all the
scrod caught during the fiscal
year of 1921, so justification Of
~Scrod Week" cannot be ques-
toned"
Detailed announcements re-
garding arrangements viii be
made from time to time. "Scrod
Week" buttons will be given to
all persons who parade during the
week or who take a scrod home
and make it comfortable. Ths
slogan for the week will be,
"Scrods Right-Marchr
The Washington herald., 1922-11-26
Don't Jump
Out of Bed

IT isn't good for you TO jump
out Of bed quickly In the
morning or any other time.
The new theory Of the doctors,
gathered In eonclave IN London;
q this:
do not spring fSpm bed the
moment you wake. Do not spring
from the bed 1t al. II you
must get up, take II quietly. Get
ting out Of bed should take place
only after the person has thought
It over for five minutes"
The old idea was that - soon
q yod opened your eyes, you
should fling off the bedclothes
and bound to the floor with
display Of magnificent vitality.
That was al wrong. When the
idea Of getting up comes to you,
sieep on It for Q while. =
"Springing out Of bed accele-
rates heart action after Q long
period Of relaxation and in turn
excites the brain, with the result
that the individual becomes un-
balanced and remains unbalanced
for hours II not all day"
Have you never noticed how
many unbalanced people you
meet? Sometimes they al seem
funny. It IL because they all
jump out Of bed suddenly in the
morning. These are the new
rules:
'Under no circumstances
hurry"
"Raise the body to . sitting
position"
"Let the feet down quietly to
the floor one at time"
"Make the movements gradual
and placid" I
Jumping out Of bed Is sure to
shorten your ife."
You may say that many per
sons have heightened their lives
many years by springing from
the bed hurriedly - in case of
fire, but what do you know about
It? You have . nerve to dispute
the scientists.
How about the hremen, them
selves? Shall they use ten or
fifteen minutes getting up and
sliding down the pole. Maybe
In some cases it would be impos-
sible to keep the fire going until
they get there.
The scientists are generally a
gloomy lot of old coves, but this
time they have struck q popular
chord. They could have made n.
discovery that would have p,-ased
people more.
II you are late at the office,
flash the set of rules at the boss
and say: Doctors ORDERS" and
then hear wat the boss says.
Don't jump out of bed sud
denly"
The doctors will have no trou-
bic putting that one over.
And to cap the climax, one
genius has invented a tickless
clock and another has invented
m alarm clock that will not ring.
We may soon have it as soft as
they have II In Russia and not
The Washington herald., 1922-11-26
Heard Along
Broadway
One Too Many.

GONE wife too manyr ex-
" claimed Mrs. Wederly, a.
she glanced at the headlines Of
her husbands paper. II sup
pose that is an account Of the
doings Of some bigamist?"
Mot necessarily, my dear"
replied her husband without dar-
ing to look up.
The Washington herald., 1922-11-26
Coming To Him.

Coming To Him.
A PoRTLY woman Of very sau-
IA sive beauty was addressing .
meeting on Temperance Re
form"
my friends" she said, 81 had
q husband who was addicted 10
the bottle. He was q great trial
to me, but one day I persuaded
him to take the pledge. He did
50, and my Joy was 50 great. 50
overwhelming, that I flung my
arms around his neck and kissed
him."
sand sarve i'm jolly web right,
too" added q voice from tbs
crowd.
The Washington herald., 1922-11-26
Helping Herself

THEY were dining of fow1 In q
restaurant.
"You see," he explained, as he
showed her the wishbone, you
take hold here. Then we both
make a wish and pull, and when
It breaks, the one who has the
biggest part of it will have his
or her wish granted"
"But I don't know what To
wish for" she protested.
"Oh, you can Il ink of some
thing" he said.
"No, I can't" she replied. 81
can't think Of anything / want
! very much"
"well, I'll wish for you," he
exclaimed.
"Will you really?" she asked.
eyes"
"Well, then, there's no use
fooling with the old wishbone,
she interrupted with a glad
smile; you can have meP
The Washington herald., 1922-11-26
Suburbanity.

Suburbanity.
WOMAN should think you
=" would be sshamsd to beg In
this neighborhood.
Tramp-Don't apologize for 1t,
mum, I've seen worse.
The Washington herald., 1922-11-26
Won't Preach Il Again.

0hYE," said Sandy to the min
- lister, cit was q powerful
discourse on Thrift ye preached
on the Sabbath"
"Ah'm glad ye were able to
profit" said the minister.
profit! Why, mon, I would
have pit my saxpence into the
plate without q thought IL Il had
not been for your providential
words. They saved me fourpence
there and them
The Washington herald., 1922-11-26
From Here
and There
Hard Luck.

scTHE worst of these suburban
houses is that the walls are
80 thin you can hear everything
the people next door say. There's
a foreign couple next door to US,
and it's almost driving my wife
crazy"
"violent, noisy people, ehf"
Eyes, but 1t isn't that. You
see, they quarrel quite q lot, and
she can't understand q word they
say"
The Washington herald., 1922-11-26
All the Same to Them.

All tne Safne TO mem.
MRS. SMITH John. wb4tever
AVA made you put thar Dad half
crown in the plets:
Mr.. Smith--|Ch, that was all
right; my dear. The collection
was foe the heather, and you
don. think those chaps are going
to tell the difference between
'tLat and a good one, do you?
The New York herald., 1922-04-20
SURPRISES FOR SUNRISE BALL.
Three Orchestras to Play Until
Daylight for Dance.

The Sunrise Ball." which is to take
place at the Ambassador Hotel tonight.
promises to be well attended. Many sur
prises in the way of entertainment and
lighting effects are promised. and music
for dancing will be furnished by three
orchestras.
The ball will get under way about IL
o'clock and will not end until sunrise" |"
In addition to the Louis Nv. ballroom
there will be dancing in the Italian Gar
den and the Microscope room. Among
those who will entertain at supper are
Judge and Mrs. Francis Key Pendleton,
Mrs. Arthur NJ. Dodge. Mrs. Frederick
w. Vanderbilt Mrs. John c. Pratt, Mrs.
Philip Rhinelander I'd, Mrs. William
Taylor Pyne, Mrs. Whitney Warren and
Mrs. John Henry Hammond.
The Junior Committee Is composed of
many of the seasons debutantes. Miss
Wanden E. Mathews is chairman of
this committee Mr.. Samuel Ballio Piza
Is chairman of the floor committee
The proceeds from the Sunrise BALI
will be used for the first Help -Men-to-
Help-Themselves stations. where men
who are temporarily destitute may with
out cost be able to get bath and shave
The New York herald., 1922-04-20
CARD PARTY FoR vAssAR.

\ card party for the benefit OF the
Vassar College Salary Endowment Fund
viii be held on Tuesday afternoon. April
25, at the Hotel Pennsylvania Miss
Virginia Archibold, Mrs. Henry Need
ham Flynt. Mrs. William Loonis Kali
man, and Mrs. Earle Kress Williams
are the committee in charge. They will
be assisted by members Of the younger
social set. The patronesses for this
event include Mrs. Robert French Archi-
bold, Mrs. Laird Barber. Mrs. Burton
Berry. Mrs. William Burgher, Mrs John
Cavalno, Mrs. g. c. Flynt, Mrs. William
c. Fredenburg. Mrs. w. Travis Glib.
Mrs. Frederick Gudebord. Miss Eliza
beth Hammond. Mrs. William Henry
Hays. Mrs l.. Emmett Holt, Jr.; Miss
Ella Louise Henderson. Mrs. Carl
Jungen. Mrs. Allen d. Kenyon, Mrs.
Theodore Kenyon. Mrs. Tremper Long
man. Mrs. Edward Lyons. Mrs. Henry
Butler Moore, Mrs. John w. Morgan.
Mrs. Henry Stewart Price. Mrs. Clinton
Rossiter. Mrs. John d. II. Schulz. Mrs.
Albert Sellenngs. Mrs. Horace Il. Stout
Mrs. Pierrepont Edwards Twitchell
Miss Dorothy Tuttle. Miss Helen Tiebout,
Nine. Aida Tagliavia, Miss Helen War
ren. Mrs. John r. Williams. and Mrs.
Charles Il. Woodbridge.
The New York herald., 1922-04-20
TALLEYRAND DIVORCE
SUIT PUZZLES PARIS
Kaleidoscope Changes Con-
fuse American Colony.

Special Cable to TIE New YORK HERALD
Copyright, ioe2. by THE New YoRK HERALD.
New York Herald Bureau,
Paris. April 10.
The kaleidoscope changes in the
Talleyrand divorce case are beginning
TO confuse even hardened Franco-Ameri-
can social circles here According to
reliable information secured by THE
NEW YORK HERALD correspondent this
sfternoon the Duchess de Talleyrand
1nee Anna Gould) is wavering in her
decision to take a trip to China and
Janan or to spend a few months with
relatives in the United States, and some
OF her friends are trying to induce her
to take the Duke along on new period
of probation before enforcing the de-
c,slon OF the French divorce tribunal
The Duchess. Notwithstanding her in
tention fortnight ago to take passage
Immediately for a summer visit to the
Far East. is now expressing fear over
the serious civil war in China and looks
with more favor upon the safety OF
Atlantic City and other American re-
sorts.
Meanwhile. the Dukes friends are re-
ported as busy pulling wires in the
hopes OF convincing the Duchess that
he is not only willing but anxious to
come home and be forgiven for his past
pecadilloes. Not the least significant
development is that the historic Cha
teau de Marais is being offered to let
for the remainder of the year. appar-
emily indicating that the Duchess in
tends to escape for a considerable period
from the constant vexation of contact
with the critical remnants OF French
nobility.
The New York herald., 1922-04-20
ETCHINGs BRING s10,0O7.
"Palace OF Jannis Darius by Cam
er0n, Fetches $43O.

An etching by David Young Cameron.
Palace or Jannis Darius" fetched the
highest price in the first session last
night at the American Art Galleries in
the sale of etchings and engravings
from notable collections. including that
OF the Museum of Fine Arts. Boston. and
those of various private persons. IL
sold to Knoedler & Co. for $3.50. An
etching by Muirhead Bone. "Piccadilly
Circus" sold to the same bidder for $340.
and ''San Fernando In Celeste. Flor
ence," dry point by the same artist.
went to the same for $20s. saint Merri.
Paris" by Cameron. sold to Knoedler g.
Co. for $3.50. The entire session totalled
s1o007.
kennedy & Co. paid $500 for "Melan-
cholia,' an engraving by Albrecht Duer-
er, and Mrs. S. S. Fish gave $3.50 for a
mezzotint after Rembrandts 'Saskia
Van Ulenburgh." by s. Arlent Edwards.
Another mezzotint by S. Arlent Edwards
after Gainsborough's Blue Boy" was
bought by Mrs. II. T. Chisholm, Jr.. for
5000, and another mezzotint by the same
engraver, Sympathy after the paint
ing by Greuze. went to DR.. j. b. Briggs
for $185. An engraving by Albrecht
Duerer st Jerome in His study was
bought by Ftzroy Darlington for $170.
and a mezzotint by s. Arlent Edwards
after Perugino was purchased by Mrs.
II. J. Chisholm for $3.50.
The New York herald., 1922-04-20
DebutdnteS to Aid
May Carnipal for
Benefit of Poor
To Sell Votes on Street for
Election of King and
Queen of Screen.

Platoons OF debutantes will. start on
April 20 to sell ballots on the streets for
the election or the most popular actor
and actress OF the motion pictures as
King and Queen OF the Movies. All
funds received will go to the assistance
of the i'll. the poor and the unemployed
of the metropolis. under the supervision
of the Association for Improving the
Condition of the Poor. Preliminary ar
rangements for the formation of these
platoons were made yesterday by Mrs. L.
Roland y. Hartman. chairman of the
committee on the sale of votes for .he
May carnival to be held at the Hotel
Astor on May 8.
A force of 500 girls will take up the
work the first day, and in addition to
getting dimes, which will be the price
of each vote for a favorite screen
player, they will get new recruits to join
them. until a thousand young women
are engaged for the campaign.
The carnival will mark the finale OF
the popularity voting contest, and at 1t
the winners will be crowned king and
queen. The coronation will be attended
by leaders of the social financial,
phlanthropic, motion picture and
theatrical worlds. and the ceremonies In
connection with it will be conducted by
Joseph +. Day. auctioneer.
Mr.. Day will preside over the final
vote getting and counting, but the actual
sale of ballots from the opening Of the
contest on the night of April 20 until .he
closing at the carnival will be in charge
of Mrs. Harrimans committee. Mrs.
Hartman yesterday took up her work
In the suite of Offices in the New York
Company branch at East Fifty-seventh
street. donated to the May, carnival by
the bank.
The New York herald., 1922-04-20
BENEFIT FOR CAMP FIRE GIRLS.
Russian Opera VIII BE Sung mt the
metropolitan.

"Snegourotchka. the Russian opera.
will be presented for the last time this
season with Bori, D'Arle. Delaunois.
Howard Chalmers, Rothier. Meader, and
with Bamboschek conducting, at the
Metropolitan Opera House this afternoon
for the benefit OF the Camp Fire Girls.
The patronesses and boxholders in
clude Mrs. Warren G. Harding. Mrs.
willard Straight. Mrs. Oliver Hartman.
president of the Camp Fire Girls: Mrs.
Lorillard Spencer. Mrs. Edward ". Brei-
tung. Mrs. Samuel f. STREET.. Mrs. Henry
Clarke Coe. Miss Julianna Cutting. Mrs.
Samuel Robert kaufman. Mrs William
J. Shailer. Mrs. Willis Fl. Booth. Mrs.
Grant Squires, Mrs. Francis Carolan.
Mrs Robert Wy!.e Lyle. Mrs. T. 7. Oak
ley Rhinelander. Mrs Owen b. Hunts
man, Mrs. James Moses. Mrs. Clifford
Taber MacAllister. Mrs. John Greenough,
Mrs. Gustavus T. Kirby Mr.. and Mrs.
Otto III. Kahn. Mr.. and Mrs. Edwin
Gould. Miss Katharine b. Bliss. Mrs.
Corinne Roosevelt Robinson, Miss Mary
* Choate. Mrs. Frank S. Witherbee.
Mrs. Henry p. Daviscn. DR.. George
kunze. Mrs. s. l.. Hoppin. Mrs. Fred
erick Trubee Dawson. Mrs. Joseph p.
Knapp. DR.. W. w. Benjamin, Mrs. II.
Alsop Reilly. Mrs. r. ]. Caldwell. Mrs.
Harry l.. Hamln. Mrs w. w. Burgess,
DR.. Maurice Francis Egan. Mrs. A. J.
Erdmann and Mrs. Anthony Schultz.
The New York herald., 1922-04-20
MARRIED, SHE SEEKS
DEAD FFANCE'S MONEY
He Left Her 500, 900 If She
Would Stay Single.

Special Dispatch to THE NEW YORK HmALp.
WORCESTER, Mass, April 1s.-Mrs.
Raymond L. Cooling OF this city hopes
that a settlement will be reached by
which she will get portion of the $780,
600 left her by Charles A. Hamilton Of
Chicago on condition that she stay
single for the remainder OF her life
and live with his mother.
Hamilton was an officer In the avia-
ton service stationed In Texas. while
Miss Eleanor Katherine Berlin was do
ing war work In Galveston. They were
attracted to one another. -Acquain-
tanceship ripened into love and an
nouncement of their enga cement was
no surprise to friends. His airplane
crashed at Ellington Field. She hur-
ried to his side and he promised to leave
her his property on condition she
would never marry and would live with
his mother The INJURY proved fatal.
Miss Berlin came north to Worcester
to complete her education three years
ago. After a course in business col
lege she entered the employ of Mr..
Cooling. He fell in love with his stem
ographer and she gave up wealth for
home.
1--WE are arranging a settlement out
of court" said Mrs. Cooling this morn
ing. IF the matter were taken into
the courts, Mrs. Hamilton (his mother)
could appeal and appeal until there
would be nothing ldft after paying
lawyers fees.
II believe Charles was influenced by
the action OF his father. who left all
his property to Mrs. Hamilton on condi-
tion that she should never marry again.
But it was a rather selfish thing for
him to do. don't you think? ! knew
he was going to leave money to me
and like all girls l had 1t half spent.
But / didn't know the clause In the
will about never marrying again.
Mrs. Hamilton was much offended
that didn't want to live with her, but
I think she will be reconciled. She
telephoned recently from Chicago and
wanted me to come out for a visit
The New York herald., 1922-04-20
DANCE AIDS BABIES.
Two Institutions Beneht by Recital
mt the Plaza.

A dance recital for the beneht OF the
Babies Ward OF the Post Graduate Hos
pital took place yesterday afternoon at
the Plaza under the direction of Miss
Adeline King Robinson and Mrs. Dana
Clark. The participants all were girls,
members of prominent families. and
their dances included exercises in rhythm
and expression, and some costume
dances. There was a set of American
dances, including those performed by
Indians. and the early Puritan. Dutch
and Quaker settlers, and also those OF
Colonial days. Some Of the present day
dances were added.
Among the children appearing were
Misses Margaret Gallatin. Cecile Hig-
gins. Caroline S. Pyne. Adela Eunice and
Evelyn Griswod. Barbara Williams
Helen de Peyster. Mary Livingston and
Betty Barlow. Among the patronesscs
were Mines. John c. Jay. Jr.. w. Il.
). Griswold. Albert GaIlatin. Orson ID.
Mum. George Russell Peabody. Arthur
A. Fowler. +. Ashton de Peyster and
Newbold Norris
The New York herald., 1922-04-20
ATLANTIC CITY ARRIVALS.

Special Dispatch to THE NEW York HERALD.
ATLANTIC CITY, n. j., April 19.-Sev-
eral hundred members of the Lehigh
Valley tourist party, including mainly
residents OF Buffalo. among whom are
two hundred school teachers. have ar
rived at the Traymore and the Ambas-
sador hotels. They are on an extensive
tour Of several cities, and came here
from Washington.
Mrs. Howard Fl. Henry of New York
Is at the Ritz-Carlton with Mrs. Daniel
b. Fearing OF New York and Newport.
Other arrivals at the hotels from New
York include:
Ambassador-Miss Helen Linhard. Mr..
John Mullen, Miss Marie Long, Mrs. L.
NJ. Althuser, Miss v. G. Hager.
z-Carlton-Mr. and Mrs. Smith
O'Brien. Mrs. Edgar F. Luckenbach. Mr..
Julian Holland. Mrs. George Raab, Mr.
and Mrs. Benz Matthews.
Marlborough Blenheim-Mr. and Mrs
H. Clarence Fisher, Mr.. and Mrs. r. d.
MacMurdy. DR.. and Mrs. J. M. Stephen
son. Mrs. L. e. Hadley Mrs. l.. A.
williams. Mrs. n. J. Wagerman.
characterization Hall Mrs. A. NJ
Ostergren. Mr.. and Mrs. Thomas Small
man, Brooklyn; Miss Mary E. Bernard.