The Washington herald., 1922-08-25
1t Seems to Me
By Haywood Broun.

"On August 16," writes George J.
Brenn. 'it- seemed to you that
nothing had been quite so destruc-
tive to romance in New York as the
telephone And yet you attribute to
the telephone the potency to create
the double personality. and that is
romance. You admit that it has in
creased the pace OF modern life. A
mans business associates in New
York need an immediate decision
from him on which much depends.
The man is in San Francisco. The
telephone and the weavers of
speech send the whispered words
hurtling through space at the rate
of $4,000 miles per minute. No ro-I
nance in this?''
Here we beg leave to interrupt
Mr.. Brenn for a moment. We chal-
lenge the whispered words" That
isn't the way it is done. This"
says the man in New York, in a
strong, steady voice, "is Sol Beno-
witz, of Benowitz, Benowitz & Ben
owitz. / want to talk to Sam Beno-
witz. Room so. Palace Hotel San
Francisco" Several hours later Sid
Is summoned to the telephone ana
asked. Are you calling San Fran
cisco? He says that he is. Go
ahead" says the voice.
Hello" begins Sid. He makes il
louder. "HELLO" There is a great
clatter. Somewhere along the line
an operator is shifting gears. BY
and by somebody says to Sid, q
can't hear you. Will you please talk
little louder"
rs that you. Sam?" cries Sid. The
wire backfires.
Why don't you talk up" says the
voice from San Francisco.
Its about that big merger with
Kaufman & Connolly" yells Sid.
Who's murdered?" asks San
Francisco.
Merger" bellows Sid.
Spell it," says San Francisco.
m for money, f for elucidste, r
for redundancy. G for Gertrude
Which Gertrude?" San Francisco
wants to know.
Sid amends it. &c for Gnosticism
E for elucidate again, r for redun-
dancy."
do it once more" asks San
Francisco.
Sid does so. What merger?" says
San Francisco.
is this Sam Benowitz?" asks Sid.
No" says the voice.
Five minutes" says the oper-
atorI.
Sid goes back to the next room
where Reuben is waiting to hear
the decision of the absent partner.
It's all right" says Sid. Sam
wants to go ahead with it,"
Your article indicates" con-
tinues George J. Brenn, that YOU
regard romance as synonymous
with comfort and happiness. Iii
not eoncede that fact, either. but
will proceed with your next state
ment that the telephone encourages
liars. One of our younger novelists
is at present working on an opus
entitled The Quest of the Golden
Lie The leading character goes
forth in search of liars. for he
knows that where those are found
he will find romance and happi-
ness.
My real object in writing to you,
however, is to say that l have been
in the telephone game twelve years
and find it to be chockful of ro-
nance. Some of this l have put
down on paper and editors like it,
Does the fact that l have sold forty
short stories and one novel deal
ing with the action, suspense,
thrills and adventure contributed
to life by the telephone indicate
nothing?"
AS to the last question we can
only say that it all depends on the
forty short stories and the novel.
For the rest Mr.. Brenn has raised
some good points. We must admit
that there is a definite relationship
between lying and romance. How
ever. although the telephone has
encouraged lying it hasn't really
done much to develop first class
liars. 1t has made lying so easy
that most of the romance of that
pursuit has disappeared. The man
who can face danger and. without
finching. hurl a lie straight into
glamorous figure. But can as
booth who telephones. 'T am sorry
I can't come home for dinner; I
missed the train"
oiccpink beauty ilNeu III Eredt
castle high up on a mountain of
glass In front of the massive
gate glowed a hugh sign, Beware
of the dragon" Over the glass and
through the jaws of the dragon
came the prince. To the topmost
tower he fought his way and
wakened Sleeping Beauty with a
kiss. Would the incident follow any
such course today? No. indeed
The prince would merely give
Sleeping Beauty ring.
Or. perhaps. the scene is Verona
in a n.ooniit garden. Juliet comes
out upon the balcony and murmurs,
20. Romeo. Romeo, wherefore art
thou. Romeo?" Just inside the
house a bell rings. Never mind,
nurse" cries Juliet. I'll answer"
Guess who this is" says Romeo.
The fine pen-mindedness of |
your statement In today's World |
that (because the son Of an italian |
cobbler won a championship at |
golf. we ought not to be so finicky |
about just who Is admitted at Ellis |
Island causes me to hone that Won