davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Mellette County pioneer. [volume] (Wood, Mellette County, S.D.) 19??-1971, 1922-03-17
THERE WAS THAT POSSIBILITY
And Virginia Lad Might Have Seen
Something Of the Sort Happen
Occasionally.

\ Nirginian, recently elected judge
and feeling keenly the responsibilities
Of his exalted position, was coming on
horseback along Il road in n remote
section OF his district. He saw Il smoke
OF a hillside.
Boy he said to q lad who was
loating alongside the road, lis that
smoke up there from Il stilI?"
Eyes, sir, l reckon it is" the boy
replied.
What are they making up there?'
Might be maxim some apple
brandy
The judge jumped from his horse.
Here, boy" he said, hold this horse.
I'm going up there and stop that. They
can't hout the law in that manner in
my district"
The boy took the reins and the
judge climbed the fence and started
toward the smoke. After he had gone
u few steps the boy shouted:
"Oh. mister"
"What is it, asked the judge.
"Etfcn YOU don't come back. what
must | do with the overwhelmingly
Evening Post.
The Mellette County pioneer. [volume] (Wood, Mellette County, S.D.) 19??-1971, 1922-03-17
HIS CRITICISM RATHER HASTY
Possibly Mr.. NewIyWed Will Make
Discreet Inquiries Before He
Makes Another Complaint.

a few weeks ago | was invited to
dine with n couple Of old schOOlmates
who had been married for some time.
/ was asked to bring a friend who had
also attended school with us.
The dinner looked appctizing, and
was progressing smoothly with all of
US in good spirits.
Suddenly, Jack, my married friend,
turned to his wife and said: Vera,
what's the matter with these bis
cuits?"
She made some sort of reply, where
upon lie answered they were not fit
TO eat, that his mother could do bet
ter baking, and asked who baked
them.
Vera, with an injured expression,
answered: why Jack, dear, your
mother sent them over this evening"
Both, l know, wished the dinner
over, and | found | had n pressing
engagement directly afterward.-Chi-
cage Tribune.
The Mellette County pioneer. [volume] (Wood, Mellette County, S.D.) 19??-1971, 1922-03-17
"When the Devil Was Sick"

Two old sobs had been at odds ever
since the day Of their enlistment.
They were due for discharge within
Il few days when one of them was
taken seriously i'll and the doctors
broke the news to him that he had
small chance to live. lie summoned
his old-time enemy to his bedside.
Mac" he said plaintively, they
tells me I'm goin' to kick over. If
| do, will yer fergit our fights and
sort Of let bygones be bygones?"
'That'll be Alright" said Mac. IN
great embarrassment.
"And, Mac"-here the old gob's
voice grew strOnger-"if l ever get
well and we remind me l ever said
that, I'll knock that fat wooden block
off yer shoulders"
The Mellette County pioneer. [volume] (Wood, Mellette County, S.D.) 19??-1971, 1922-03-17
Taking the Joy Out of Art.

An artist from New York was visit
ing an old Southern family in Alabama.
One day while they were riding in their
automobile, which their former coach
hostess pointed out q majestic tree that
stood alone in Il meadow. The artist
went iatO rapture over it and with
hands clasped turned to her hostess.
'Oli, isn't it superb! ~ she breathed.
"a perfect example of Il Corot !"
"Scuse me. mistis," said the priv
ileged Ol! servant. dat ain't III
Corot. Hits jest one of desc hyuh
sugarberry trees."-Youtlis Coinpan-
ion.
The Mellette County pioneer. [volume] (Wood, Mellette County, S.D.) 19??-1971, 1922-03-17
Ferocjous "Halrnet."

My little nephew and l were out
walking n day when W. heard q
buzzing sound in the trees. He went
closer to investigate and as usual
curiosity killed the cat"-for the lit.
tie fellow vas stung severely On the
arm. l told him l thought 1t was a
hornet that had injured him.
When he returned home, his uncle
seeing him crying, questioned him and
received this answer: "Oh, uncle, ]
heard a buzzing noise In a tree and
one of those hairnet things bit me-
Chicago American.
The Mellette County pioneer. [volume] (Wood, Mellette County, S.D.) 19??-1971, 1922-03-17
Ereshen a Heavy Skin

With the antiseptic, fascinating Cuti-
cura Talcum Powder, an exquisitely
scented, economical face, skin, baby
and busting powder and perfume.
Renders other perfumes su~periiuous.
One of the Cuticura Toilet Trio (Soap,
Ointment, Observation-Disclosures.
The Mellette County pioneer. [volume] (Wood, Mellette County, S.D.) 19??-1971, 1922-03-17
No Retirement

"Do you intend to retire from poll
tics?"
II never knew anybody who did,"
replied Senator Sorghum. "a politi-
clan may have to toss his hand into
the discard and stay quiet for awhile /;
but he v actually quits the
game"
The Mellette County pioneer. [volume] (Wood, Mellette County, S.D.) 19??-1971, 1922-03-17
In Doubt.

A clergyman was in the habit OF
going up TO his little girls bedside
each evening and telling her a story
before she went to sleep.
one evening he told her such a
thrilling tale that the child, sitting
up in bed, looked very straight ut
her father and asked:
Daddy. is that Il true story, or are
you prcaching?'
The Mellette County pioneer. [volume] (Wood, Mellette County, S.D.) 19??-1971, 1922-03-17
Nothing Serious.

Prosecuting Attorney - Have you
ever been convicted of anything?
Witness-Yes, sir, n
Prosecuting Attorney-All right, tell
the jury what you were convicted Of.
Witness-I was just convicted of
waiting on myself in a grocery store ;
that's all.-New York Globe.
The Mellette County pioneer. [volume] (Wood, Mellette County, S.D.) 19??-1971, 1922-03-17

Danville, nl.-"I think DR.. Pierce's
Golden Medical Discovery is the best
medicine / have ever used or heard Of.
I learned of it through a friend when
/ was in a weak and highly nervous
condition. / had lost interest in almost
everything-just dragged on in a list
less sort Of way. A few doses Of the
Discovery gave me a brighter view
of life and | began TO gain strength.
No one but those who have used this
helpful medicine are in a position to
speak fully of its merit."-Mrs. Viola
French, 10 n. Collect st.
What Golden Medical Discovery
has done for thousands it will do for
you. Get 1t today from your nearest
druggist, tablets or liquid. Write for
free medical advice TO DR.. Pierce's,
Buffalo, n. Y.
The Mellette County pioneer. [volume] (Wood, Mellette County, S.D.) 19??-1971, 1922-03-17
Must Have Been.

'Look me in the face, sir
He raised his eyes timoronsly.
snow, sir, deny, If you dare, that you
married ME for. my money"
ut must have been for your money! y
he faltered.--London Tit-Bits.
The Mellette County pioneer. [volume] (Wood, Mellette County, S.D.) 19??-1971, 1922-03-17
What's in a Name?

Knicker-What is this peace dollar?
ROcker-A misnOmer-try giving
just one to your wife.-New York
Herald.
The Mellette County pioneer. [volume] (Wood, Mellette County, S.D.) 19??-1971, 1922-03-17

The tightrope walker is all there
when it comes to the straight and mar.
row path.
The Mellette County pioneer. [volume] (Wood, Mellette County, S.D.) 19??-1971, 1922-03-17

her affections who wouldn't lend him
50 cents in cash.
The Mellette County pioneer. [volume] (Wood, Mellette County, S.D.) 19??-1971, 1922-03-17

Charlotte BrOnte's writing was so
small that 1t appeared to have been
traced with a needle.
The Mellette County pioneer. [volume] (Wood, Mellette County, S.D.) 19??-1971, 1922-03-17
Just as Good.

81 can no longer offer my friends a
bumper "But you can take them
out in a flivvcr."
The Mellette County pioneer. [volume] (Wood, Mellette County, S.D.) 19??-1971, 1922-03-17

Political vindication frequently
means that the people have been fooled
again.
The Mellette County pioneer. [volume] (Wood, Mellette County, S.D.) 19??-1971, 1922-03-17

Wise is the foo, who knows enough
to keep it to himself.
The Mellette County pioneer. [volume] (Wood, Mellette County, S.D.) 19??-1971, 1922-03-17

Forecast.
"What's the weather forecast?"
"Both parties are freely predicting
harmony"
The Mellette County pioneer. [volume] (Wood, Mellette County, S.D.) 19??-1971, 1922-03-17

ado your shoes ever hurt you"
"Not until / have to pay the BILL
New York Sun.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1922-07-21
Good Roads for Isolated Communities

Indiana has an enviable reputation in all
parts of the country for its good roads Inter
view any tourist who parks at Glen Miller park
and you will find that his praise of our road
system is unstinted. His compliments cover not
only our main highways but many of our side
roads.
What this means to the state in the form of
advertisement and the creation of good will can
not be estimated in dollars and cents. Genuine
praise of this sort brings its revenue to Indiana
in many ways, and all of us share in it directly
and indirectly.
Motorists of our own community who have
tried of the bad roads of other states do not
hesitate to tell their friends about their expert
ences, with the suggestion that these states be
avoided if possible on long tours.
There is, however, one phase of our road sys-
tenn that should receive attention at the earliest
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1922-07-21
Paws Big Fine

"I always thought if the doctors
couldn't help my stomach and liver
trouble, nobody else could. 1t has cost
me nine hundred dollars and l have
paid my fine 1t remained for Mayr's
Wonderful Remedy to do the trick.
/ have been in the best of health since
taking it more than year ago" 1t
is a simple, harmless preparation that
removes the catarrhal mucus from the
intestinal tract and allays the inflam-
nation which causes practically all
stomach, liver and intestinal ailments,
including appendicitis. One dose will
convince or money refunded. Glenn
Thistlethwaite's Drug Stores; A. G.
Luken Drug company and druggists
everywhere Advertisement.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1922-07-21

moment While our main arteries of travel,
which are the ones tourists usually use, are rap
idly being put into excellent condition, large
number of the side roads are in poor condition.
The main roads out of Richmond in many
directions are good. But the roads that go into
the isolated portions of this county and of others
are still far from being in an ideal condition.
During the summer months no one can complain,
but during the rest of the year they are almost
impossible.
This condition concerns not only the persons
who live along these roads, but also the city
dwellers If a farmer finds the road leading
from his house to a main highway in bad condi-
ton, he is forced to stay at home until the road
permits of travel. This keeps him from deliver
ing his produce to the market from making pur
chases, from enjoying the forms of relaxation
and amusement, which combined make for his
happiness and prosperity.
The improvement Of these roads should be
undertaken as soon as the political units are
able to pay for the change. If poor road keeps
a farmer from going to market, it does not
Justify its existence. A highway that is i'm
passable for weeks at time handicaps every
person who lives along it. Public policy suggests
its improvement at an early date.
These improvements>cannotb be made in few
months but the betterment of these lateral roads
must not be lost sight of in the urge for other
changes that are intended to help the community.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1922-07-21
TODAY'S 7 A Tx
ACCEPTABTLITY
hew Adams Author of "You Can" "Take It," "Up

rather admire
unafraid.
the of President Wilson'S
plant merely answering: Il accept"
the his
splendid
walk fortune misfortune with
the SAME smie-wel that accepabiity of the right
No understands this better than does mother
exhibited
Chicago Worlds Fair 1S9eaking Home Ties The boy
looking bravey
silent
OF
III to met
$ nothing quite
quickly this accepabiity.
We need the morning when the day
alone conflict
The difficult task when
cison regarding it, the other
a
But don't TRY hard to accept-ju accept!
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1922-07-21
YOUR DRUGGIST

Does not keep Pinkham's Compound.
He sells 1t.
During the year 1920 nearly 3,OOO,.
600 bottles of this medicine were ship
ped from the factory at Lynn, Massa.
chusetts. There is also a branch, in
Canada and one in Mexico.
Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound has the largest sale of any
medicine for women's ailments. Every
day more and more women are prov
ing It's worth. Made of selected roots
and herbs, this compound contains nc
harmful drugs and can be taken in
safety by any woman.-Advertise
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1922-07-21
After Dinner Stories

The amateur dramatic society was
preparing for a performance of LAS
You Like It
The dress rehearsal took place in a
garden that was overlooked by a
building in course of erection. AS the
amateurs postured and chanted the
bard's beautiful lines, bricklayers
above them laid bricks, carp enters
planed boards, and masons Clipped
stones.
Toward the end of the play, during
a pause in the rehearsal, voice from
the building operation was heard tc
say gravely: 81 prithee, malapert
pass me yonder trowel"
In answer to the returned summe.
visitors questions as to the welfare OF
Mr.. Padgett and his whereabouts, Mr.
Dorkin replied that Jake" was teach
ing at the little red schoolhouse or
Harley's hill.
But / thought
We'll, he is" admitted Mr.. Dorkin
Understandings IAN he gets more
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1922-07-21

for many sports. In this brief mum
dane Journey she said, II wish to
shine; so I'll be an attorney-no wed
ding rings in mine. A girl can't be a
winner if she sews patches weird, and
diagrams a dinner for some one with a
beard" She did as she expected, she
saw her fame increase, and now she's
been elected a justice of the peace
With honors she is laden, her roll has
bulky grown, but she's wintry maid
en-, all loveless and alone. No lighted
window greets her when homeward
she returns, no loving husband beats
her or borroWs what she earns. Her
progress was amazing, but ever and
anon l see her sadly gazing as though
some prize were gone. It's when
we're old and lonely, and tired and sad
and gray, that loving comrades only
seem worth the price we pay.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1922-07-21
Facts About Indiana
(By Associated Press)

(By Associated Press)
The library of Indiana University at
the last count had total of 143,354
volumes.
There are more than 100000 farmers
in Indiana.
The constitution of Indiana became
effective on Nov. 1, 1851.
The most dangerous distractions
along state roads have been white
washed by the state highway commits
sion to make them more noticeable
at night.
The census of 1920 showed that in
Indiana there were four persons en-
gagged in farming who were born in
Finland.
The Kappa Alpha Theta sorority was
the first Greek letter sorority estab-
lished at Indiana university. 1t was
established in 1870.
The state board of pardons and pa
roles meets once a month.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1922-07-21

rector of the United States bureau of
investigation and manager of the New
York office of the alien property Gus
todian. On March 4, 1919, he was
made alien property custodian and
also assistant attorney general.
He is now president of the Chemical
Foundation.
Caravan was born in East Hartford,
Conn, June 13, 1875, and studied at
Yale, New York University law school
and Catholic university. He began
the practice of law in 1898. He held
the Office of assistant district attor-
ney in New York from 1900 to 1910.
He is a Democrat and has taken a
prominent part in Irish organizations.
may possibly be gassed to death by
vapor from a huge comet. But he
adds, as a sort of pleasant postscript,
that it will never happen.
We would go to Chautauqua for the
summer but we can't find a clean
handkerchief.
Bookstore proprietor says flappers
do not read. They don't have to. They
know enough.
Let US hope the new bill to regulate
the air will include supervision over
the hot variety.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1922-07-21
HAVE YOU PILESo
THEN YOU HAVE SOMETHING TO
LEARN.

LEAnNs
Thousands who have piles have not
learned that quick and permanent le-
lief can only be accomplished with in
ternal medicine. Neither cutting nor
any amount of treatment with oint-
ments will remove the cause.
Bad circulation causes piles. There
is a complete stagnation of the blood
in the lower bowel and weakening of
the parts. DR.. ]. S. Leonhardt was the
first to find the remedy. His pre-
scription, HEM-ROID, is now sold by
all druggists. DR.. Leonhardt tried it
in 1000 cases with the marvellous rec
ord of success in SO per cent. and then
decided it should be sold under a rigid
money-back guarantee.
Don't waste any more time with
outside appliances. Get a package OF
HEM-ROID from A. G. Luken Drug Co.
today. 1t has given safe and lasting
relief to thousands and should do the
same for you-it sedan fails.
Advertisement.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1922-07-21
Lessons in Correct English
DON'T SAY:

Strangers make the child COY.
The bird was MODEST when I tried
to feed it,
Why are you so DIFFIDENT when
try to make love to you?
Stunning school, he always was
MODEST about his studies.
There was a DIFF1DENT blush on
her face before the wedding.
SAY:
Strangers make the child BASH
FUL.
The bird was SHY when l tried to
feed it.
Why are you so COY when l try
to make love TO you?
Stunning school, he always was
DIFFIDENT about his studies.
There was MODEST blush on heI
face before the wedding.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1922-07-21
Memories of Old DAYS
In This Paper Ten Years
Ago Today

County Chairman Will Robbins of
the Republican Central committee had
issued a call for ward and township
meetings for August 2, at which time
delegates to the state and congress
sional conventions would be held elect
ed. The state convention was to be
held at Indianapolis, while the congress
sional convention was to be held at
Connersville.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1922-07-21

sold to it by act of
congress d urin g
the Wilson admin
i S I T a t o n, h a S
brought Gavan in
to the spotlight.
Caravan became
acquainted with the
details of the dye
and chemical pat
ent affairs while
serving in several
government capac.
tiles during the
war. In Novem'
Der. 1917, Garvan
was appointed di-
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1922-07-21
Answers to Questions

! L
Informa ton Bureau, Frederick ]. Hask-
In. director. Washington. D. G. This Of, Of
Ter applies strictly to Information form ne
medical and financial matters. It does
not attempt to settle domestic troubles,
nor to undertake exhaustive research
on any subject Write your question
plainly and briefly. Give full name AMI
address and enclose two cents in stamps
for return postage. All replies are sent
direct to the inquirer
@. What makes oriental rugs crook
ed Pc B. G.
A. Most of these rugs have wool
en- warp. They are apt to be crooked
on account of the elasticity of the wool
For this reason cotton is supplanting
wool, especially for the large rugs
made to order for the European and
American markets.
O. How deep can ducks dive?-J.
l.. X
A.Sea and bay ducks can dive deeper
than those of the fresh water group.
They have been known, according to
Chapman, TO descend to a depth of
$50 feet or more.
Q. When was butter first used as
food "A. G.
A Butter has been in use from
early .0lSIOI1C udyS, anu 10 lISL HELL
tened in the Bible in Genesis 1873. 1t
was used both as food and medicine.
and also as an ointment and for burn
ing in lamps. One of the earliest meth
DDS of making butter was to jar the
milk roughly by placing it in skin
bags or pouches hung over the backs
of trotting horses
@. Did Russell Sage give the money
for the foundation that bears his
name ?-H. J.
A At his death, Mrs. Sage received
Internationally a fortune of more than
$50, 100000 TO be used as she saw fit.
Her greatest single benefaction was
the gift of 100000 in 1907 for the
establishment of the Russell Sage
Foundation.
Q. When was the Royal Northwest
Mounted Police organized ?-M. I. w.
A II was organized in 1873 by the
Dominion government to preserve law
and order in the wilderness northwest
of Lake Superior
@. Must the president Of the Unit
ed States take the oath of Office in
Washington N. r.
A Customarily the president takes
the oath of Office in Washington, but
there is no provision of law to that
effect For instance. when Roosevelt
as vice-president succeeded Mckinley
as president the oath of office was ad-
ministered to him at the home of Ans
ley Wilcox, a Buffalo attorney, on Sep
TENDER IA, 1901.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1922-07-21

The papers say that nitrates are
higher. But it will make no difference
if you don't do much telegraphing.
A New York doctor, with quite a
nifty practice, had just bought new
car. had been studying its parts and
was all smoked up over it.
a patient limped into the private Of
flee and seemed all tuckered out.
The mind of the doctor was full of
automobile instructions and he could
think of nothing else.
I'm all in" said the patient You
gotta fix me up somehow"
What seems to be the trouble?"
asked the doctor; is it in your en-
gine?"
Il can't breathe without wheeling"
said the patient.
Just step into the garage and I'll
look you over" said the medical man.
leading the way to the operating room
You say you wheeZe a good deal?
Then your carburetor needs adjusting.
That's what's the matter with you"
My knees squeak when l walk"
wheezed the patient.
You need more oil in your trans
mission"
NV sense of direction is all wrong.
When l want to go forward l often
take a step backward
THE trouble is you start in re-
verse; said the doctor. You should
start ahead on low speed. then shift
to second and then TO high. When
YOU start right in on high you are al
most sure to strip your gears"
Thanks. doctor. How much is the
bin?"
The BILL" said the doctor. still
thinking of his automobile, the bill is
1885. the regular garage price. and
charge YOU nothing for parking here
while | looked you over. But there
will be something extra, of course, if
| have to put in any new parts
Professor Arehenbold. famous as
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1922-07-21
DISCOVER PHONE THIEF

AKRON, July 21.-Now comes the
telephone thief Employees of the Po-
land Dixon Coal company here arrived
at work recently and found the tele-
phone gone, according to police re-
phone wires said: I'm a radio bug. |
need this in my business"
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1922-07-21
Ripping Rhymes
JAMES CAREER
BY Walt Mason

When Jane was young and Happy,
the belle of all the town, she made
young men unhappy. because she
turned them down. And many wished
to wed her. with wreaths upon her
brow, but no one ever led her to make
the solemn VOW She wished to be a
lawyer, and practice in the courts;
said wish was the destroyer of love
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1922-07-21

muddleheaded all the time. But what
else could we do? We had to put him
in schoolmaster to keep him off the
town.
I'VE amt going to pauperize a
man." he added, loftily, IF we can
find anythin' for him to do"
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1922-07-21
After Dinner Trick S

No. 2oS-The Balanced Egg
An ordinary egg is placed on end on
the tablecloth by the performer, who
thus emulates the famous feat of Co
lumbus. The egg may be thoroughly
examined, and the end shown to be un-
broken. The spectators will find them
selves unable to duplicate the trick.
All that is necessary is a tiny pile Of
salt. which the performer previously
placed on the table. The egg is pushed
down on to the salt, which furnishes
enough resistance to make the egg stand
on end. When the egg is picked up the
salt is whisked away by the hand.
COPYRIGHT, 1888, b. Public LEDGER CorsponA