Omaha daily bee., 1922-06-04
WHICH TWITCHCOMB
Suppose, at 3D. You Could Have Good Talk With Yourself
You Would Be at II; Or, at II, You Could Talk With
Yourself as You Were at37

.
He was cashier. receiving teller. paying teller
interest clerk. bookkeeper. assistant treasurer
corresponding secretary, and at odd umss
Janitor. There was president. OF course. and
vice president and a board OF directors. but
they were. 90 20 speak. mere oniookers once
a month. as q matter of habit. these officials
came together for a meeting. examined the
books. talked over the investments. looked sx'
tremely wise. and then went placidly about their
business-wAJch had nothing whatsoever to DO
with tho Savings Bank Of Rumiey.
They held frequent meetings-of an unofficial
and Informal character. however-on street cor.
nsrs or over the counters OF the various msr-
camille estAbiishments-when ono very grave
and harassing question invariably was discussed.
almost with bated breath-most certainly with
troubled and anxious mien. II was not ques-
tion involving the policy or the stability Of the
bank nor the financial outlook. nor the curtail-
ment OF expenses. nor the advsabilty OF In
creasing Twitchcombs salary or providing him
with q cheap assistant: IL was a far more i'm.
portant question than either and oil OF these.
Il was the question OF Twitchcombs health.
Not that II was impaired or In the least sus.
pected. He was on the whole. . hngularly
healthy person. Notwithstanding . somewhat
distressing tendency to remain excessively lean.
The officials Of the bank. delving far back a.
possible into the physiological history OF the
Twitchcombs. sustained themselves with an un.
broken record Of combined longevity and spare
ues.
Twitchcomb's father was Q very thin, csdsv.
ssous man who had lived to bs nearly so be-
fore surrendering to the Grim Reaper, whom
he Unexpectedly encountered while crossing .
/. railroad track In his buggy few years back.
Twitchcomb's uncles and aunts were lean. old
people; and his grandfather. passing away at
the age Of %. mighty easily have lived to bs
100 II his health had not been 20 good that II
mislsd him into believing that he could save
10 cents by walking nearly two miles through .
February blixzard to consult the doctor about .
cold that appeared to have settled In his lungs
While all this was very comforting to the
PRECEDENT and the directors Of the bank. there
still remained a desolatipg possibility that
Twitchcomb might. perversely. catch something
or other and be put to bed by his doctor-and.
while his doctor was one Of the directors Of the
institution, Il was hardly to be expected that he
would allow his interest in the welfare Of the
bank to interfere with that Of his patient, es-
pecialy II the faithful and indispensable
Twitchcomb should turn up with pneumonia. or
typhoid. or blood poisoning. or anything else Of
the sort
There was some consolation to be derived
from the fact that he had had practically all Of
the maladies known to childhood, such a.
measles, mumps, scarlet fever and chickenpox:
It was not likely that he would fall . prey to
any Of tho annual epidemics. although there
was cause for uneasiness in the knowledge that
. person may have measles moro than once,
and II goes pretty hard with adults. There was
also the constant fear that in winter tme he
might fall ON an Icy sidewalk and break q leg
or an arm; while the summer time had its
hydrophobia and its sunstroke, to say nothing
Of the perils arising from canned picnic lunches
poison ivy, sudden changes Of Temperature
drafty churches, careless Fourth Of July cele-
brations and 10 on.
The time had come, however, when they felt
mere or less satisfied that he had passed the
dangerous age when matrimony il q menace to
all forms of fidelity He seemed to be q eau
tious, contented sort Of bachelor who could be
trusted to, avoid the unnecessary expense Of
having wife and family. There had been
time, to be sure. when it looked AZ though he
might be on the point Of falterng. but such
crises passed without disaster. He steadfastly
remained single. and that was just what the Of
fcials Of the bank desired. They were all mar
ried men and they knew how difficult It IL to
satisfactorily fill two jobs at the same time
30 they were very much relieved, when
Twitchcomb failed to succumb to tho wiles Of
the Presbyterian ministers sister, who came
to Rumley for a visit Of two weeks and re-
NAMED nearly two years before concluding It.
Things looked very serous-aye, threatening
when she managed to lure Twitchcomb into the
church choir. and they were positively ominous
when she acted bridesmaid and he as best
man at the wedding of Miss Martin. the organist,
and George Camp, the bass singer. But soms-
how Twitchcomb escaped, not only in that in
stance. but also on two other occasions when
rumor had him fairly we'll hooked by Mss Ella
Frisbie, the librarian. and Mrs. Estels Perkins,
. widow.
Now while It would appear on the surface
that Twitchcomb was not a marrying man, and
that his employers were justified in their con-
viction, the fact remains that he was blessed
with heart that was almost polygamous in it's
strivings 1t was constantly on the jump, first
this way and then that, leaping, 40 to speak,
frnyS1 IN hait mot nnit with
hailing distance of the coveted seventh heaven
but never for one instant exposing its lofty
vacillations to the angels It approached with
fear ana trembling.
For. be It known, Twitehcomb was not only
IN extremely shy person, but he was calculat-
ing one as well. II the truth must be told, he
was successvely in love with half the unmarried
women in town, and it was the dearest desire
Of his soul to be married man. So brief and
20 varied were these passing entertainments that
one might be pardoned for describing them as
dreams.
At any rate. they never came to anything
real Indeed, he never by any chance went 80
far As to allow a single member Of the multi
tude to even suspect that he was passionately
interested in her, and as for popping the ques-
tion"-well, he couldn't, that was all.
He came very near to doing 1t when he was
10. as all adolescents are prone to debut as
maturity supplied him with increasingly wary
intuitions he began to doubt the wisdom Of
taking step in the dark when there was still
50 much light ahead for guidance and observa-
ton.
In the first place, was it quite sensible Of him
to get married when he was earning barely
enough to keep himself in food and clothes?
He decided most properly that it was not. BY
the time he was 36. he figured, he would be
canning enough to enter into a protracted en-
gaSement with some girl; and If all went we'll
they could risk being married when he was 80.
That vas the sensible way to look at 1t. It
was fair to assume he would be earning at
least 500 q month and possibly more, counting
the interest he would be getting on the $1,000
he expected to have saved up by that time.