South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1922-01-15
BY ". r. wAII.ACH.


the open country, she takes choco-
late cellars IN her luncheon; but
the hrst thing you find IN mans
basket Is raw onions
Look not upon hootch when II Is
white, when Il gtVeth no color 70
the cup or moveth itself not at all
for at least it kicketh ike a Wild
mule and stinketh like a polecat
We refrain from telling Mr.. Hard
ing and his party leaders how they
are spiling their party beans, but
they are losing their beans all right
The six births in Anshawaka dur
ing December are gratifying IN sew
eraI- respects, but are not a good
showing so far az bfrth-rate Is con-
cerned. There are too many divorces.
and too much bootlegging 10 have
the birthrate that would tell for the
vigor OF the town and the glory Of
God.
A blind woman in Youngstown, o.,
cooks, shops and sews. Then there
are women who see entirely too we'll
TO cook or sew, but they manage
TO shor a few.
A West Virginia magistrate let
workman off for being drunk be-
cause he was the father OF Is chill
dren, saying that a man with so
many children had a right to get
drunk every six years. Our jurisdic-
ton expands and meets every con-
dition that time or circumstance
may create.
Judge Johnny Raab IN the local
court the other day sent a man 70
TAIL for bootlegging and because he
had no children 70 offer for an ex-
cuse. Motto: Raise children while
you're raising Cain
Among those mentioned for a fob
on the police force IS one Of our
enemies. There's one man we will
get even with. We Will vote for him.
We have no criticism 10 make Of
l
( think It Is doing fine
One man says IN a hundred years
women viii be armed with rifles and
hghting IN the armies. That's moth
ing. they have been fighting in their
{ husbands homes ever since we can
remember.
A Massachusetts, Judge rules that
a wife has right TO rife her hus-
bands pockets. as If that inherent
right were dependent upon some
judicial decision. which is as impo-
tent TO uphold as it IS TO annul the
right
It Is said that Doug selects Mary's
hats and Mary selects Doug's
/ clothes. There are not many wives
who would permit their husbands
70 select their hats, but woman re-
CARDS II as her established right 70
select her husbands clothes-and
what are you going 70 do about It?
7 Personally. we regard It as an out
rage. bus It's the custom Of the coun-
I try!
The hoorskirt may come back If
il wants to, but It must not dare TO
spread itself as It did away back in
/ Scotland 80 years ago. There Is not
room in a Mishawaka fiat for that
sort OF thing.
It Is gradually getting so that
when a man reaches for his hip
pocket you are rather expecting 10
get a shot"
The president sent his father the
! customary check for 500 for a
! Christmas present. We care nothing
about that. What we want TO read
/ IS the letter OF congratulations the
| president wrote when the old gentle
man married some time back.
A woman died IN Wisconsin the
; other day at the age OF 90, and the
( papers said she was never known TO
worry. What a miserable life for a
woman,
II is said many Arabian women
spend as much as $1,000 a year for
perfumes. But you must remember
/ they are not even Saturday nighters
| IN Arabia
Now when we set the automobile
up 70 the point where Il will solve
and simplify the problems It creates,
then everything will be all right.
The new style longer skirts are
: not selling as freely as anticipated,
and probably will not until they are
reduced one-third-st the bottom.
Coming down 70 earth again, we
I find that liver and onions, as well as
( corned beef and cabbage, retain
their endearing old charms.
Now Is the time for friends" TO
imFortune men to run for the post
mastership. How many candidates
have you asked 20 run, anyway?
Your resolutions are getting
/ wobbly, are they? Well. hold on TO
Your purposes.
| Now a geologist has discovered a
/ way to predict earthquakes as ac-
curately ss meterologists predict
weather. Long ago we found a way
20 predict democratic landslides, but
! only one out OF every nine predic-
| tons proved accurate.
Besides. II girls viii follow the
advice OF the LADY who tells them
not 20 kiss until they are engaged.
they may know the excitement OF