Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1922-10-25
WOULD-BE BAD ACTORS
SHOW WHITE FEATHER.
CWILLOW VALLEY WRTTERl

A most laughable incident came to
the writer's ears not long ago con-
corning coterie of convivial sports
of this county, and we believe our
readers will enjoy a description of the
ludicrous occurrence. This party OF
old friends are accustomed to get to-
gether at some appointed place and
there, safe from curious eyes, mis-
chievous tongues and neighborhood
disturbers, these old pals pull off
stunts that would be liable to crit
icism by straight-laced folks. Men,
all of them law-abiding and stickers
for law and order, yet in their Sc
cluded places of meeting they cut
loose and act the boy with all the gus
to of twenty, thirty and forty years
ago. Business cares, political prob
lens and domestic clouds are forgot
ten and they proceed to have as many
cubic yards of fun as possible in
these meetings at rare intervals. 1t is
of one of these meetings that we write
and we call on our readers to let
their fancy have full swing in order
to get the best results in peruSing
this story.
On a certain evening an auto load
of these old comrades left their town
and drove out into the country where
there were public grounds and where
many of the sporting element were
wont to resort Right here we wish to
mention the fact that these same
grounds were also used by other par
ties, who were inclined to Ego out for
a lark" 1t was also said that these
grounds were used as a place where
hOotch makers exchanged their wares
for coin Of the realm. So much rumOr
was there concerning this place that
the sheriff had the grounds under sur
VIGILANCE and on the night OF which
we write, he and several deputies
were there early in the evening and
we'll concealed were lying in wait for
moon runners" AS the auto load of
sports drove in on the grounds the
sheriff whispered, Here comes a big
bunch of birds, be quiet and we will
bag the whole covey" Each officer
got his automatic in readiness for &C
ton and awaited in breathless silence
for the auto party to unload.
None of the officers were prepared
for what followed, for every officer
was sure that these newcomers were
bringing in load of moonshine. Here
is what surprised the watchers. That
Jolly party had all the appearance of
being well "piped" and were indulg-
ing in all sorts of idle talk, raillery,
blasphemy and vulgarity, and what
surprised the officers most was the
fact that all of the jewellers were we'll
known to the officers and easily recog-
nized by their voices. AS soon as he
!, -, ~ he Oh hi
pered to the deputies to make no noise
and let the joymakers have full sway
to their merry making. Get your
guns ready and when | give the word
fire into the air. We'll give them a
good scare anyway" What followed
was the real comical part of the in
cident and the reader can imagine the
amusing features when each one OF
those autoists assumed part and i'm
personated a prize fighter or some
notorious tough.
AS the big car stopped near the spot
of the concealed officers, one OF the
passengers scrambled out of the car
and said with a roar, I'm John --.
| can whip my weight in wild cats.
I'm just spelling to knock the head
off the man who doubts my word. "
Another fellow got out of the auto and
swinging his arms and pounding his
fists together said, I'm Pete --, L m
a cross between a timber wolf and an
English bull dog. Oh, I'd like to eat
about a dozen men" At this the third
man got out and began to prance
around. saying, I'm the man who
took key out of whiskey. I'm cross
between a rattlesnake and swapping
turtle. Whoopee! Hold me or | will
eat some one alive. I'm Bob -, the
man who threshed his mother-1n-laW.
Then the fourth man came tearing out
of the car and with a loud whoop he
roared. "I'm the man who knocked
the hell out of HelgOland, I'm the man
on the pale boss. I've a private grave
ward for my victims and have just ad-
ded ten acres to it. Now I'm looking
for more victims. Bring them on and
watch me whip a hundred at once.
shave with a blow torch and walk a
barb wire fence with wild cat under
each arm and a rattlesnake IN my
teeth. Break away ahead as I'm sud
den death" The fifth man emerged
from the auto and began war dance
at the same time, saying, I'm Sam
Toughnut, I'm the fellow who licked
his sister, two old men, three crippled
/ women and four postage stamps. Hold
me or l might knock the moon out OF
| its orbit. Wowiei Hot Damni"
At this moment the officer gave the
signal to fire and those revolvers be-
gan to bark in chorus. The trans
formation in those would-be savage
men was remarkable and they sour