The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1922-08-05


Friend AL:
Well, AL I'm still knocking them dead as per
usual as the fellow says. The old wing never
| could of been in better shape than she is now.
But what and the hell good does it do me- l
should ought to be pulling SO thousand dollars
year instead of the measeiey SIS hundred
| get
But say AL wantit to tell you about my
kid. You know, AL, he is nifty bright kid.
But as l tell his mother what else could she
expect with the father he's got Blood will
tell, Al; that's all there is about it. And used
to could pull some pretty good ones when we
was kids, eh, Al? I'll say could. Well, Al, it's
like this about the kid. We got summer camp
out along the river. It sets me back II eleven
berries per wk but you know me Al! don't
care for expenses when want something. It's
| supposed to be furnished camp but the dam
landlord didn't hurt hisself furnishing it, but
we got lot OF our own stuff there and it's
pretty comfortable.
Well, AL, as was going to say there is a
| lot Of other camps clost to ours which has got
a lot Of James in them and these james (now
you want to get this, Al; don't muf it, these
james think it's kinda cute to run around wear
| ing these here nickers
| Well, AL, it was Sunday afternoon a long
! about o'clock in the pm. and Whitley Tullsen
and his wife and kid was with US out on the
/ lawn in froat Of our camp when long come
"a couple these here james and one had on
nickers and she was a pretty nifty looking
jane, at that, AL, and it didn't hurt my eyes
none to look at her. Well, all at onct, while l
was giving her. the Double 90, heard that
kid of mine holler something at her and saw
her kind of duck her head and get red in her
face. but I didn't get what the kid hollered,
but he hollered it again good and loud and then
| l got it. What do you suppose that kid of
mine said to that jane?
Well, AL, l know you couldn't ever guess in
a 1000 years, SO I'll tell you, Al, and don't muff
it, now. It's pretty rich. This is what he hol-
Tered:
Hey! You got on brown pants"
Amt that rich one, Al? 1 thought 1 would
bust my sides laughing at MIN when l heard
it. But amt surprised none, AL. A kid with
a dad like he has got is bound to pull good
ones like that.
COULD one poiAt moral from the fact that
the secretary of dental association in Wis
consin died from apoplexy caused by teeth
infection? Probably not. But suppose a col
yumist was reported to have died as a result
Of overwork!
THE SUBTLENESS OF SOLOMON.
Sir: According to the Merrycan Gamma is
going to take on sixty days of divorce mourn
| ing ere she enters the arena with Ye Childe
Harolde.
Jess Willard thinks it will take until October
31st to get in shape to give JACK Dempsey the
lambasting due him.
| We like fun and usually dislike to see inter-
esting events postponed In fairness to the
participants in any event, however, they should
nave plenty OF time to get in good shape for it,
Events are always more interesting IL the var-
Elephants are In good condition and We also
have better entertainment
SOLOMON PIFFLE.
IF you have any mysteries to solve-if vour
wife has disappeared or the morning milk mys-
teriously disappears, or anything else dsan-
pears-tell US about it and We will put onr
slick sleuth, Mr.. Amos Duncan, on the iob h
solves anything At any time.
READING ~Lollingdon Downs and Otb.,
Poems" by John Maseneld is something for
which we haven't developed great deal OF en-
thustasm. We are pleased, however, with this
| stanza in poem No. XXI:
| His father dubbed
The girl ON the head.
Young Will upped
And shot him dead"
| That We believe, IL the shortest and most
descriptive tale Of . family tragedy We have
ever read.
OUR editorial colleague tells Mr.. Good CHI.
sen that Rock Island belongs to him.
Weir . fair to middlta' citisen. What ara