davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1922-01-13

II you do go to bed. however. you
will probably be fired when, the truth
becomes known. And II will become
known. never fear.
Don't walk under ladders.
Wear your rubbers and, when you
reach an icy spot, crawl on your
hands and knees or PROSTATE your.
self and snake along on your --LATEST
side.
Watch for objects falling from
windows.
Don't wink at that pretty girl
Watch for holes in your pockets.
Carry your wallet in your safe.
No, No! Not That.
Don't drink bootleg stuff
Don't ride in elevators.
Don't walk upstairs-you might
slip.
Don't do this.
Don't do that.
Why?
Today Is Friday, the 18th.
What's IL done to you?
Here's what it has done to the
nations:
Flu epidemic in England. Ireland
is In the throes of election. The
Cannes conference collapses. BRAND
The Washington times., 1922-01-13
HOUSE PRObERSI
To END INQUIRY
IN MILK PRICES
Last of Dealers Testifies and
Committee Plans to Finish
Work Next Week.

The special subcommittee of the
House District Committee will conf
plete its investigation of milk prices
next week
The committee, in meeting today.
heard Raymond j. Wise, OF the
Chevy Chase Dairy. He is the last
milk distributor to be heard.
Wise told the committee his dairy
made a net profit of $39,29894 in
1920. He explained various phases
Of the company's operations and nc
counts.
1T Is useless to spend more time
with the milk Dealers" Congressman
Kunz declared. ut Is impossible to
secure information that we need"
The committee will meet next Tues
day and witnesses for the Maryland
and Virginia Milk Producers AssocIa-
ton will be heard.
Z. C. Brandenburg, attorney for
the Chevy Chase Dairy, told the com.
mittee that regardless of what action
was taken that dairy and the Chest
nut Farms Dairy would continue 70
distribute only pasteurized and tuber.
culin tested milk.
The Washington times., 1922-01-13
HERO MEDA[|STS
To BE- D|NED BY
GUSBUCHHOLZ
Police and Firemen Winning
Times Trophies Win Be
Guests With SuperIors.

-Four Washington heroes win have
in opportunity to display their gas.
tronomic valor at the festive board
this evening when they gather at the
Occidental Hotel as the guests Of Gus
I'uccholz. And the highest. of their
superior officers will be on hand to
keep tally of the epicurean points
scored
The valorous quartet is composed of
Policeman r. c. Ault and Fireman
John Ellsworth Altman, who few
days ago were awarded The Wash.
ington Times medals for conspicuous
bravery in the line of duty; Detective
Sergeant Arthur Scrfvener and Frank
Neuman, formerly of the District
Fire Department, who walked off with
he gold medals for heroism last year.
Acting Chief Of Police Daniel Sulli.
van and Fire Chief George Watson
also will be among those present.
Everybody will wear civilian clothes
and a good time undoubtedly will be
had by all.
Gus Buccholz last year inaugurated
me custom Of entertaining the heroes
IN the fire and police departments.
and says he will continue 1t as long as
The Washington Times gives them
gold Notwithstanding indefinitely.
The Washington times., 1922-01-13
WIFE DECLINES TO ACCEPT
REPORT OF BRAKES DEATH

Alphonso Grosvenor Drake--living
CT dead?
The puzzle presented by Mrs. Drake,
rs reported in The Times, is no puzzle
to the Oneonta, N. Y, Star, which has
sent The Times a special report on
the death of Mr.. Drake:
"Alphonso G.. Drake died at Fox
Hospital, Oneonta, October IL, 1918
DIR. A. w. Cutler was attending ply.
stefan. brakes home was in Cherry.
vale, near here"
To Mrs. Drake, however. this news
merely confirms previous similar re.
ports-all of which she refuses to
credit because she believes she has
seen Drake in Washington seven times
during the last year.
who is the double Of Alphonso Gros
xsnor Drake?
The Washington times., 1922-01-13
WIFE, CHARGING CRUELTY,
ASKS LIMITED DIVORCE

Catherine Kearney Beuchert today
filed suit in the District Supreme
Court against Julius Beuchert for a
limited divorce and alimony and the
custody Of their child. She alleges
cruelty and desertion. Plaintiff, rep
resented by Attorneys Mason. Spald.
ing and MacAtee. declares her hus.
band is a baker and earns about $50
week and that she is employed In
the Veterans Bureau Of the Treasury
Department.
The couple were married at Capt..
tol Heights, Md, October Z, 1914.
The Washington times., 1922-01-13
A HORsEsHOEING PROBLEM.

In the recent horseshoeing prob
lem of s. SMITH, a mistake is
evidently made. He states six nails
to the shoe. Any blacksmith will
tell you there are eight nails to the
shoe-thirty-two nails. There's a
fable of a king asking a black
smith what he would charge
to shoe his horse. The blacksmith
said he would charge ] cent for the
first nail and double the amount
each succeeding nail. When the Job
was finished the blacksmith present
ed the king with a bill for $42.949,-
672.95. II the blacksmith should use
only twenty -four nails his pay would
be only $167,772.15, but eight nails
more would make an immense diff
ference. JINGLING JACK.
The Washington times., 1922-01-13
IKE BRoMBERG IN TOWN
TO SELL COPIES OF TIMES

Ike Bromberg, well-known to Wash
ingtonians through his annual visits
to the city, is in town today, to cele.
brate the twenty-fifth anniversary of
the return of his voice. He will sell
copies of The Washington Times at
the corner of Eleventh street and
Pennsylvania avenue.
On good days of other years Ike cele-
brated his success by furnishing hot
dogs to newsboy pals.
The Washington times., 1922-01-13
BILL ASKS NEW HOME
FOR ACCOUNTING OFFICE

A new Government building to
house the General Accounting Office
Of the United States Is proposed in a
bill which Senator Smoot introduced
In the Senate yesterday.
The building Is to be located on two
squares bounded by Tenth and Twelfth
streets and B and c streets northwest,
adjoining the present Postoffice De.
partment building.
The Public Buildings Commission is
authorized to condemn the land re.
quired for the structure. The bill was
referred to the Committee on Public
Buildings and Grounds.
The Washington times., 1922-01-13
Gives Up After Staying.

Following a quarrel over a small
amount Of money last night at 426 l.
street northwest, Randolph Burroughs,
colored, was stabbed in the heart,
forehead. and left hand by Paul Chap.
man, also colored. Both men lived at
the L street address. A physician was
summoned from Emergency Hospital,
and he pronounced the negro dead.
Chapman later surrendered at the
second precinct station, and was
charged with murder.
The Washington times., 1922-01-13
NO AUTOMOBILES OWNED
IN 3 KENTUCKY COUNTIES

FRANKFORT, KY, Jan. 10
Three Kentucky counties contained
no automobiles on July /, 1920 when
the assessment of taxes for 1921 were
made, according to the annual re.
port of the State tax commission.
These were the mountain counties Of
Knott, Leslie, and Clay.
Six other counties had no motor
trucks, although a few automobiles
were listed
The Washington times., 1922-01-13
To Attend Gamers Meeting.

B. r. Hart, of the Bureau Of For
eign and Domestic Commerce, left to-
day for Louisville, where he will at
tend the annual meeting Of the Ma.
tional Gamers Association. Frank
Ei Gorell, also of Washington, is sec.
rotary of the association, and he will
accompany Mr.. Ha't.
The Washington times., 1922-01-13
TOMORROW,

Dance. Ladies' Auxiliary OF st. Johns
College, at Rauscher's, 3 p. m
Maine State Society, Thomson School,
Twelfth and streets northwest, s. y m.
United Citizens Playground Committee,
Public Library, p. m.
Exhibition, original cover designs Pub.
lie Library.
Address, Boris e. skvirsky, at meeting
OF National Council for Limitation OF
Armaments, 4:45 p. m.
First American Boys Agricultural Fair
Convention Hall.
northwest, p. m.
Dance, Gibbons Club. Carroll Hall, s24 @
street northwest, 3 p. m.
Forum luncheon, Womens City Club
l y. m.
Address. Topics Of the Day" by Mrs
Robert L. Nelson, Women's City Club
4:4b y. m.
The Washington times., 1922-01-13
HARDING o. KS NAUTICAL
TRAINING SCHOOL FOR VETS

President Harding has approved
plans Of the Veterans Bureau for the
establishment of a nautical training
school for disabled veterans. It was
announced today by Colonel Forbes,
director of the bureau.
Forbes announced he had under
consideration sites ut Baltim ore, Jack.
sonville, Fla: Newport News, Va;
Boston, and two points in South
Carolina.
The Washington times., 1922-01-13
School Benefit Planned.

The Piney Branch Parent.'reachers'
Association will present Mary Pick
ford in Through the Back Door," a
travelogue and comedy, in the
Knickerbocker Theater, Thursday
afternoon, January 10. The proceeds
will be devoted to the equipment
fund Of the J. X. West school. Girl
Scouts OF Wild Rose Troop, No. is,
will act as ushars.
The Washington times., 1922-01-13

TRIBUTE TO JOE CONKLIN.
MY Dear Bill
just a word I'd like to say:
regret to learn Joe passed
away.
How glad I was that you could
Some Of Joe's traits, SO clear and
well.
He did his best, though frail and
Ill;
His mission here, he did fulfill.
For-if he caused just one glad
smile,
His life amongst us was worth
while.
And this he did-for I am one
Who enjoyed Joe's wit, his
truths and fun.
Yes, Joe said good things all the
while;
He caused me to think, he made
me smile,
And 1 shall miss him, for he has
gone.
To the great unknown. his final
bourne,
Though from our midst. Joe's
passed away;
Let's affectionately think Of
Joe" each day.
PANSY BUSH.
The Washington times., 1922-01-13

Governor DAVIS, Of Virginia,
has coined new one In his at
tack on Office-seekers and office
holders who are POLITICALLY dry,
but personally wet"
Yea, DO. that Governor knows
something. He must have been
, guest on Capitol Hill on several
occasions.
GIN FIZZ.
The Washington times., 1922-01-13
TAKERS HELD FOR LOS ANGELES COURT in AUTO THEFT CA
@'I|;hEARD ",SEEHt,
eY BILL PRICE 02Aaa8~
vO LURE WAY UP THERE.
eY BILL PRICE

NO LURE WAY UP THERE.
All doesn't figure on altitude,
Ell All has to, y0' kin gimme latitude,
Fo' me no chahm has all de cloud,
Cause All don't want to wear .
shroud. 4.
Uh, Uh; not me! ...
When All sees plane up In de sky
Dat look no bigger den q fly,
An jes' between me and him up
dere
Dere's nothing, nothing, but de air.
Uh. Uh; not me!
On all desc airmen An jes' frown
Cause nah arches too am on de
grOun',
Flat feet An calls blessing. sees
F0' terra firma am high 70 me.
Flys Uh, Uh; not me!
When All reads about an airplane
crash
An figures II migbta been NAH hash
Dey's ralkin' Outa dat debris
All pats mahself an smiles wild glee.
Fly? Uh, Uh; not me!
All has one desire to leave dis groun'
An fly way up instead OBJ down,
And dats where all good people goes
When dey all turns up dere toes.
But now? Uh, Uh; not me!
w. s. H., Jr.
So-cailed foolishness is often
aoisdom IN disguise.
Truth generally goes in rags,
While falsehood sports in silk.
Before pe haze faith, let us find
ont ,chat faith is.
EDWARD J. IRVINE.
The Washington times., 1922-01-13
SOME BUSINESS CARD.

"A contrib sends this somewhat
peculiar advertisement of an Ohio
man, who uses 1t on envelopes and
letter heads:
In Five Days Return To
c. NJ. JOHNSON
Phone 1902
Militant Socialist from Choice; By
Calling, Farmer. Justice OF the
Peace through Election.
Notary Public on the Side.
office Open Every Once
in While
Sharon Center, Ohio
This word diamond is by ]. II.
ERHARDT:
MUM
MON Ely
HU Nd RED
NJ 4 RIT
YET
The Washington times., 1922-01-13
Whoops! Fridaythel3th
Is Amongst Us With Ain
AwfuLLot of Bad News

If you haven't met with accident today and don It
want to- you had better go to bed Immediately But be
careful that you don't smother yourself under the
fall out and break your neck.
The Washington times., 1922-01-13

is out. A Texas oil town is battling
vice and martial law has been pro
claimed. -. -.-.
Today's black day in history. v
Is Great Day for Bad News.
In 1400 Richard II, of England
was murdered. In f705 a fireworks
factory explosion in London killed 12(
persons and destroyed 100 homes. Ir
1910 the steamboat Lexington burned
on Long Island Sound; 40 lives lost
In 1892 occurred the massacre OF
British soldiers in Kabul Pass, while
In lS46 the United States army was
ordered to the Rio Grande to prevent
Mexican invasion of Texas.
In 1853 part OF the sea cliff al
Dover, England. fell and in 1878
American fishermen, setting nets in
Fortune Bay, Newfoundland, started
an international controversy.
A fire in Soochow, China, in 1889
killed 10000 people. In 1908 nearly
200 persons died in a theater fire al
Boyerstown Pa, and United States
marines landed in China in 1912.
That's enough, amt It?
The Washington times., 1922-01-13

GREAT TYPEWR TIER PICTURE.
This remarkable likeness Of FOCH
trely typewriter by OBART REESE:
The Washington times., 1922-01-13
SENATOR NORRIS SARCASM.
Dear Bill:

That was a classic bit OF sarcasm
Senator Norris. Of Nebraska, got off
In his speech in the Senate In the
NEWBERRY case. He pictured
that Michigan Senatorial election as
n public sale, with "the goods" GO
ing TO the highest bidder, and then
asked, "Shall the sale be cOnfirmedf"
The Senator thought that II NEW
BERRY was not seated IL would
establish q precedent by which poor
men might he allowed to get into the
Senate, or horrors! "a lot Of farm
ers with long whiskers; whiskers
that will put I'm the shade the foliage
Of our iIlustrious leader. MIR.
LODGE"
1t certainly would be awful, Bill,
II poor men with brains ever got a
chance to come to the Senate, but
how will they ever do it when Sen
atOrial elections cost n forum. ?"
And then, think, too, Of punches Of
country whislxers scattered all
through the seats of the great SEN
ate, some Of the gang possibly chew
ing tobacco.
A FRIEND OF THE RICH.
This is the way one OF the fans
addresses his letters to us:
Either bill Price or
The Office Goat,
Nuts's Convention Hall
Munsey Building,
Cify"
The Washington times., 1922-01-13

liz out. A Texas oil town is battling
vice and martial law has been pro.
The Washington times., 1922-01-13
THE FINAL GREEN EDITION

contains last minute news, complete
racing entries and results and other
sport world happenings. Get your
news day ahead
The Washington times., 1922-01-13
THE PINK OF PERFECTION

The stock market close, racing en-
tries, compete financial reports and
al news in the Pink Edition Of The
Times every day.
The St. Johns herald., 1922-06-01
The Home of the Soul

In olden times. it was believed that the seat of the soul was the stomach, most likely for the req son that man is never so com pletely used up as when his stom- ach is out of order. For the cure of ordinary stomach troubles,
 there is nothing quite so prompt and satisfactory as Chamberlain's S Tablets. They strengthen the stomach and enable it to perform its functions naturally. Give them trial. aey only cost a quarter. Adv.
The St. Johns herald., 1922-06-01
Round Valley Locals

MT. and Mrs. Sandin made a trip to St. Johns Friday after noon. Mrs Sandin gave up one of her teeth while there.
 Harold Davis, of St. Johns, was married to Miss Carrie Nelson of Edgar, Wednesday afternoon, at the home of the brides parents. Bishop Ashley Hall officiating. The couple left next morning for Salt Lake City by auto.
 Karl Davis and Alvin Stradling from St. Johns were scenic visit ors here Sunday. From the looks of things Karl is about to follow the footsteps of his brother liar old. Here wishing him luck.
 Pratt Udall who has been away at Tucson attending school the past season returned home last Thursday.
 The town people are preparing to entertain the shriners who are due thru here Tuesday the 30th. About one hundred cars carrying from three to four hundred shriners are expected.
 The principal of the St. Johns High School visited in the valley Sunday.
 Frank Johnson, the L. B. Put ney Mere. Co.'S. salesman was in town visiting the different stores and taking as many orders as he
The St. Johns herald., 1922-06-01
In The Superior Court of Apache County, State
 of Arizona
Minutes of Jury Drawing May
 31st, 1922,

Judge Andrew s. Gibbons, pre-
 siding. There were present Levi s. Udall, Clerk of Court, Viola M.
 Overson, County Recorder, and John E. Edgar, Sheriff.
 This being the time and place designated by the Court. by an order duly made and entered on May 18th. 1922, at 10A. M., for the drawing of forty (4O) trial jurors, to be in attendance upon this Court on Tuesday the Thir- teenth (13th) day of June, 1922, at 10 a. m.: and the above named officials being present in open Court as is required by law, and the Clerk having made proper proof of publication. posting and service of said notice of jury drawing.
 Whereupon. the Clerk was or dered to proceed and draw from the jury box containing the slips with the names of the 500 trial jurors drawn the first of the year for service during 1922, the names of Forty (4O) trail jurors. those being drawn were as fol- To ws to- wit:
 w. F. Lesueur. Alma Davis, Carl flaws. John Butler, H. J. Platt, T. L. Jones. c H. Odell, J. N. Wiltbank, Chas. Forrest. c. P. Edgar, Leroy Bigelow, J. O. Gibbons, A. L. Truax, H. Jesse Marble, A. H. Greenwood, F. M. ,Whitings H J.SKnighty H. 6.4 Johnson, David Nelson, Henry A. Bennett. B. Y. Duke. George E.. Waite, Liola Penrod, Marion Lee, John w. Sherwood, Carl J Mi neer, J. o. Stradling, Harry B. Colter, Cesario Ortega, E. c. Becker, Joseph A. Burk. James A. Penrod. J. P. Rothlisberger, Isaac Thomas, Karl G. Udall, Chas. D. Stuart, Henry Thomp- son, David Despair, c. c. Naegle. l E. M. Whiting.
The St. Johns herald., 1922-06-01
An Exposure of Arizona
 Ku Klux KIan

A Special to the Arizona Silver
 Belt of May 27 says: '.Govervor
 Campbell made public a state
 ment last night condeming the Ku Klux Klan and stated that he was in possession of a list of 800 prominent Arizona citizens who were members of the organiza- tion, Governor Campbell and John o. Dunbar were both sum- mOned to appear in Judge Stan lords court this morning to testi- fly in the case of a man named Walter, who is being prosecuted for a felony growing out of the whipping of Rollin Jones of Mesa some weeks ago. The Ku Klux Klan made public a letter in which it assumed responsibility for the crime. Governor Camp bell did not produce his list in court. Dunbar's Weekly prints the names of several state off, cisls and officials of Maricopa county as those of men who are said to be members of the Organi- zation.
The St. Johns herald., 1922-06-01
Let Us Stop Incessant
 Daily Drives For Money

While all this talk of readjust- ment is in the air it might be well for the ordinary people-thoss who come in contact only with the ordinary things of life from day to day-to readiust their common sense and put a stop to the continuous exploitation they suffer from as result of the money raising fever. The readjustment of the drives" certainly is in or der. People are asked to contri- bute almost weekly for every thing from the Society for the Protection of Spavined Horses to the Benighted Weeping Babies of the Choctkongs of Passamaquad- dy The drain of the average purse for this sort of silly charity is tremendous. Sacrifice and helpfulness are all well enough in their way. but imposition should be checked. = Graham Guardian.
The St. Johns herald., 1922-06-01
Parody on the 23rd Psalm

Harding is my shepherd, and 1 am in want;
 He maketh me to lie down on park benches.
 He leadeth me beside free soup houses;
 He restorcth my doubt in the Republican Party.
 He leadeth me in the path of destruction for his party's sake.
 Yea, though I walk thru the valley of starvation, 1 do fear evil, for thou art against me. The politicians. and profiteers they frighten me.
 Thou prepareth a reduction in salaries, before men in the pres ence of mine enemies; thou anointed my income with taxes, my expenses runneth over my in- come.
 Surely unemployment and pov- erty, will fellow me all the days of the Republican administration, and will dwell in a rented house forever. Contributed, in Hol- brook News.
The St. Johns herald., 1922-06-01
To Start New Road

Gov. Thomas E. Campbell has
 written the state highway de- partment advising it to go ahead with the construction of a road from Holbrook to Lupton parallel with the Santa Fe tracks. accord ing to announcement just made by Thos. Maddock, state engineer. The stretch of road is 65 miles in length and runs eastward toward Gallup, N. M. The project will not be a federal aid one but will be a state road.
 It is planned to spend about $40 900 in repairing and grading the road. In order that the traf- fic arriving at the New Mexico line from Gallup will be drawn into the state. the construction of the road will begin in the near future as soon as a force with a caterpillar and large grader is available from some of the other state road jobs. Snowflake Her aid.
The St. Johns herald., 1922-06-01
Why Suffer From Rheumatism.

Do you know that nine out of every ten cases of rheumatism are simply rheumatism of the muscles or chronic rheumatism, neither of which require any in- ternal treatment? The pain may be relieved by applying Chamber lain's Liniment, which makes sleep and rest possible, and that certainly means a great deal to any one afflicted with rheumatism
The St. Johns herald., 1922-06-01
Editor St. Johns Herald,
 Dear Sir:

OOdL OIL
 Would you kindly give space in
 your paper to the following few
 lines. AS 1 was a delegate from
 Apache county, 1 feel it my duty
 to say a few words in regard to the Tucson conference.
 Now Mir. editor it wasn't just
 what we would like to have had, yet I view it as the most import ant democratic gathering the party has held in the state con- sidering the disrupted condition of the party. The idea being to try to do something to bring the party together and while the ac- tion of that gathering does not prevent any person. filing his nomination papers and becoming 3 candidate for any state office. In my judgement the names se- lected by that conference is as representative set of candidates as can be selected in the state and would suggest to my demo- cratic friends in Apache county that they consider well before voting for any other candidate for state office.
 1 see from a speech made by my old friend c. W. P. Hunt in Globe the other day that he charges all of the county delega. tions that attended that gather ing, with the exception of the Gila delegation, with leaving that conference with unwashed hands. Now, 1 would not charge any del egation with dirty hands, but will say if such a thing did exist it was with the Gila delegation. He also made some remarks in reference "to Mir. Wards silver tongue and warned his hearers to not be deceived. Now Mir. Voter 1 believe when you see and hear Mir Ward you will size him up just as 1 did and that was that he is all wool and a yard wide and ! not a man that would attempt to deceive. was very much sur prised at the attitude friend Hunt has taken as he has been highly | honored by the democratic party, | and with my friend Dunbar I did | not think he would let his honor ed name be used to luther the in- terests of the republican party. I have always been a strong sup | porter of friend Hunt and am with him now in his fight on the constitutional amendments but am not with him in his nomina- ton for governor, but 1 am dem ocrat enough that if he secures the nomination in the primary I will do all can for hlm in the general election.
 w. H. GIRRONS
The St. Johns herald., 1922-06-01

could pick up. He reports busi- ness as good,
 Mrs. Sandin and Mrs. Duke are putting on a reading and musical program in the Edgar chapel Wednesday evening. They promise a treat to all who attend.