New Britain herald., 1922-04-04
Inc Way Madge Slowly Won Com
 mand of Herself

mand or HerSelf
 It took all the courage I possessed to get the last words of my answer to Dicky's angry dictum that should cease aiding Lillian in her government work. There seemed something very mean and ungenerous in my refer ence to his mother. I felt this keen ly, even though l knew that l did not mean word of what l was saying, and was talking thus only in the hope of bringing Dicky to see that what he had asked Of me was as unreason- able from my point of view as my answering eXtravagant and nonsonsi- cal program would be 10 his.
 But get the words out I did. and as 1t is my fortune or misfortune to lose myself completely in my own imagina- ton when my anger is aroused, my dictum no doubt sounded far more savage and final in Dicky's ears than 1t did in my own At any rate, his reaction to it was sudden and astonishing. With an oath he flung himself out of the car and turned on me face distorted with rage.
 A Sudden Realization.
 Do whatever you cursed please!" he shouted GO to the dickens and break your neck. for all l care.
 His face, his words. above all his intonation were like match thrown into the powder magazine which my nerve centers were at that moment. For the second it took me to turn my switch key and start the engine and orI not responsible being.
 T shall do my best to oblige you" shrieked back at him, and the car shot forward.
 I had not turned it around when we had driven into the little glade. so that the direction in which I drove was away from home, fact which gave me savage joy l did not care at that tense moment whether 1 ever saw my home again. ] pressed the accelerator down to it's last notch and flew along the winding road at pace which was criminaly reckless, and at which I would have been ap- palled at any other time.
 l thought I heard hoarse shout behind me, but l neither turned my head nor slackened my pace. And what saved me from death or a maiming accident only the little joss which sometimes watches over fool motorists could tell.
 For at least five miles I swept along, careening around curves literally upon two wheels. and rushing along the straight stretches like a mad thing. And gradually the rush of the autumn breeze against my face, the soothing quiet with which all outdoor things take hold of me, and the strain Of the mechanical control of the car which I was exercising brought down my men tai bloodheat to something approach ing the normal. For the first time 1 thought of my little lad and realized what I was doing.
 Throes of Conscience.
 The realization nearly precipitated the accident which for miles l had been miraculously avoiding. A sud- den chill seized me, and I began to tremble violently. The wheel swerved in my grasp, and if I had been going at the speed of few seconds before, the car would have gone over the embankment. But as 1t was I was able to check the car just as it grazed tree. and when had brought it to stop at one side of the road I turned off the switch key, drew the motor robe around me, and for several minutes sat shamed and shivering while remorse had it's way with me.
 Remorse was not the only emotion, 1 however, that I found in my heart. My only throes of conscience were for the risk of leaving my baby motherless. which I had taken. My anger against Dicky was still as fierce a flame as ever. I could not forget the brutal words he had flung at me, as he sprang from the car, and I resolved that I would give him ample time to reflect upon them be- fore I went home again
 felt in the pocket of my motor coat, assured myself that my purse was with me. knew that it contained sufficient funds for lunch and for any possible minor accident to the car which should demand a garage man. The road on which l was led to Southampton. and I resolved to go on to that town and on through the beautiful Shnnecock hills to the villages beyond, at one of which, as