davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1922-06-11
Efficiency That Failed

he's crossing the Atreet--he's
caught a car-he's getting Off
he's running across the square
he's at the door-it's opened by my
mamie explains-heS got the
package-he's running back across
tho square-he's caught q car
he's got off-he's crossing the street
he's on the ground foor-he's
here-come I'M"
And the page entered with paoh-
age all complete. ...
WONDERFUL" was all the Ens-
lishman could utter. .s-
A year later the American visited
the Englishmsn and asked how the
personal system was working.
"splendid!" said the latter.
watch this" 1
He. went through sractly the
same details, but when he said.
Come in." the page entered and
said. Sorry. sir. but I've forgotten
your address.. .-
The Washington times., 1922-06-11
N English business man paid q

An English business man paid .
- visit to the United States in
order to study what the Americana
call the efficiency system. While
discussing the system with q pros.
porous New York business man no
inquired II there were not some Pc
sonal secret about II all, apart from
electric appliances. indexing meth
DDS, and 80 on.
There is," replied the American
watch this"
He pressed . button. immedt.
ately . page-boy appeared and was
told. Get right along to my rooms
in the square. The man will Let you
in. Go to my study. In the top
rishthand drawer you'll nnd .
sealed. unaddressed package. BRING
It to me here"
He took out his watch. placed II
on the table, and. without taking
any notice OF his visitor. spoke to
the 1a'rh At intervals thus: THAT
hsy y sa the ground noor now
The Washington times., 1922-06-11

This lady with ideas all her own
woulda been all right II
she'd hung onto 'em!-farther AZ
The Washington times., 1922-06-11
Quincy Tod on Vacations

number of people go over there to
look at the scenery and not to look
at . mess Of pink alligators and
fawn-colored giraffes with barbed
tails.
Nov. q . matter Of fact. when
take this trip to Europe last
Summer. I do not 90 on . volstead
liner. at that and I give you my
word do not see one man taking
q drink In the bar all the tins We
are on the way over"
what seems to be the matter
with you on that tripf" asks Elias
Q. Higginbotham-
y am confined to my cabin and
! do not get out Of my berth for
seven days, on account Of the
weather." says Quincy. But, even
then. I do not hear any shooting or
singing Of barber shop quartettes
or anything else Of the kind"
you seem TO be sort Of spleened
agin' vacations A. . general
thing" says Elias O. Higginboth.
am. and would think that any
body that works as hard as you do
getting the aces of the bottom for
eleven months in the year should
ort to want Q little rest"
Tho people that do the hard
The Washington times., 1922-06-11
By Roy K. Moulton

10 ny to others, which you know
not Of. a. the poet says.
Tho work Of getting ready to 90
on . vacation. going on It spend.
ing It and getting back homo has
made many . man say: Never
again. for he 10 all tired out, full
Of mosquito bites and sand blis-
ters. his digestion hitting on only
one cylinder and his pocketbook
natter than . fapjack.
The bird who chooses to take
his vacation In November IL . wise
cracker. believe me. He has got
all Summer and FAN to look for.
ward to Il, and looking forward to
It II the keenest delight that any
vacation can give you. The guys
that grab theirs early and get back
are sore all the rest Of the Summer
because they went so quick"
"old Uncle Russ Sage is . guy
which never takes . vacation"
says Elias O. Higgtnbothsm, "and
he always preached agin' It, and !
believe you are getting to look .
good deal like him. at that
II have got . friend by name Of
Batty Bascomb." says Quincy,
who 10 very much smoked up over
this vacation thing every year. He
begins to worry about It along in
March, and he gets enough rail.
road folders to route Bryan on .
seven-year lecture tour. While
the icicles are still hanging from
the roof. him and his storm and
strife begin arguing about that va
cation thing. BY the FIRST Of May
they are In . pitched battle. and
by the nrst Of June they have come
to the point where they do not
spesk at all. She wants to 60 to
the seashore, and he wants to 60
to the mountains. which they nat.
urally compromise 1t BY staying at
home. In their little old walk.up
right here in New York"
(which you can spend the Sum.
mer in worse places than that"
says Elias q. Higginbotham. BE
cause, when 1t gets good and hot
In New York II also gets good and
hot everywhere else.'
very true" says Quincy, "but
for the sake Of appearances among
the neighbors Batty Bascomb and
his wife have got to 90 through
the motions OF going onto q vaca-
ton. II they do not put up loud
squawk and talk about . lot Of
vacation points that they have not
never heard Of before and which
they cannot pronounce correct,
their neighbors will think that
they are very hard.up indeed and
have rot got no green and that his
The Washington times., 1922-06-11

business Is very poor.
"'where are you going to spend
the summer!' asks Mrs. schwarts
heimer when she meets Mrs. Bas.
comb ON the roof. with her mouth
full Of clothespins.
I'VE are planning TO 30 to Ras-
berry Park. In Pennsylvanier.
down on the ocean," says Mrs.
Bascomb.
-'oh, amt that wonderful says
Mrs. schwartzheimer. Ne and
my husband ID going to spend the
Summer at Sarah's Toga, which
10 . very swell watering place up
in the Adenoid Mountains. That
10 to say. We plan to 90 there for
the Summer, but We might 20 to
Palms Beach instead. Both places
is quite egotisticaL they tell me-
Maybe says Mrs. Bascomb.
mo and my husband viii 30 to
Palms Beach or Cuba, also. II
10 . very nne place to spend .
cool Summer. but We are having
some trouble getting our preserva-
.tions At the best hotel. It 10 so
crowded In them Texas resorts
during the hot weather. Was you
ever at Quebec. Mrs. schwarts-
heimerr
"'No, me and my husband has
never been across the pond. Mrs.
Basoomb. but We are planning .
European trip next year
"'surs.' says Mrs. Basoomo.
everybody always plans to 20 to
Europe next year. II 10 always
cheaper to 20 next year than this
year. somehow
I'VE would have went to Loose
Angeles this year says Mrs.
Schwartzheimer, but q ocean trip
always gives me the NAL dc NOR
maids something fierce
Whoop!' says Mrs. Bascomb to
herself, she thinks you got to take
q boat to 90 to Loose Angeles, and
everybody knows It is in Canada.
"And 30 everybody begins argu-
Ing about vacations In the middle
Of the Winter and talk It over with
the butcher and the delicstessen
store man and all the BARRIERS and
hair-dressers, and when Il is all
said and done. Mr.. and Mrs. Bas-
comb and Mr.. and Mrs. schwsrts-
heimer have . basket picnic some
Sunday at Long Beach and call II
a vacation"
But, anyhow" says Elias q.
Higginbotham. - regular vacation
amt 80 bad. II amt hard to
take"
No. says Quincy. ''lt 10 soon
over and It's always nice 70 get
back homs.' ~ $50
The Washington times., 1922-06-11
Choose Your News

VrSHEYRE 6ngerprnng all the boys down the old p. O.
They're naturally curious to find where parcels 60
And In the future crooked
Will handle money mail with gloves.
Tho Astors have home brny deep
They've left lot Of free advice for take and keep,
10 accepted, placed n file,
Whore Il will stay for quite while
hero Of the silver sheet has got ne wife many,
And having two sometimes than having wives
II seems . like Valentine
Would stick to good old faithful Reno
The families Fastening to and far resorts
While father will here and hustle for the
To caution you, feel impssd,
Please notice how this quartz Is spelled
They smusge hooeh In aplsnes nowa least they make try
Perhaps that the that eenrabands high
dive with q load Of gin
Il In this world Of sim
John Wilcox Of Nsvad., hs. beard fourteen feet long
He 10 the U. s. champion IL Re dopsshset 10 not
And when the facts all laid bare
f' found he won out by |. hair
The good old ship Lsvi.thsn viii keep her present
And Harding will be satisfied with other claims to fame.
ship named for . Nstesmsn
Not . well ether day.
ls2a hs ca
The Washington times., 1922-06-11

work are not the ones that banker
after vacations," says Quincy.
when you see . vacation hound
that begins talking about his two
weeks at Podunk Lake stx months
before the time comes, and he u
generally . guy which sits with
one eye on the clock and the other
eye on his hat and coat When .
new guy comes to work and the
first thing he says II When do ]
get my vacation!' the boss should
ort to give that bird the air imme
date, for he 10 not going to be NO
good before he gets his vacation.
and he IL not going 10 be NO good
after he gets It and the only time
he Is going to be any good to the
Office IL when hs 10 away on said
vacation.
Il never see . hard.workin' guy
yet that spend moro than fifteen
minutes picking out . place at
which to spend his vacation and
he is not so very pertickler because
he knows no matter where he goes
he will have to work harder enter.
tanning himself than he would have
to II he stayed at homo where he
can be comfortable. II 10 better
for to bear the bills you have than
The Washington times., 1922-06-11

ooupio OF hlckApoo INDIANS.
Every bridegroom believes he
can support . bride IN the manner
70 which she has been accustomed.
and. maybe hs can, but the trouble
10 no bride 10 satisfied 10 bs sup.
ported that way. She wants Q lot
Of things to which she has not
been accustomed. II not why get
married at allf
A formal wedding 10 best for
chen the bridegroom has to buy .
dress suit II he Decent get It for
his wedding he will never feel able
to have one sfterward. and It will
not make any difference whether
he has or not. No married guy
ever looks Is dressed-up A. . bach
elor, no matter how much he
spends.
But. IN spite Of al. June we'd
dings keep right on. A lot OF pso-
pie say marriage 10 the bunk and
then keep right on urging other
people to plunge into It. And. at
Ast It looks 80 though We will
have to put MP with marriage until
somebody inyents something 10
take It's place.
In the meantime your presents
are requested.
The Washington times., 1922-06-11

Then this character-anihilist
takes . slam at the poor, innocent
inotfensive men. She says, Girls,
beware of the animated, heavy
man. with the red complexion. who
likes to talk; he's full Of oxygen"
I'd like to tell this word-disburser
that oil the animated. red-faced,
talky men I've met have been full
Of something else besides oxygen!
As for the fat part, any girl knows
that . fat man is poor company.
He takes up too much room-in
fact he can't get close enough to
. girl to hold her hand; and no
girl likes. to sit on q two.seater
skew and hold her own mitt-not
in this day Of shifterism, where Q
goof works q double shift or loses
his napdoodle. -
The Washington times., 1922-06-11
~ sEE," says Elias q. Higgin-
II botham, that quite q num-
= bar In our midst are having

S6ASs boyo ASAtoo k1A66Ah-
~ botham, that quite q num-
= Der In our midst are having
. lot Of fun getting ready to 60 on
their vacations"
THAT Is the time to have your
fun out Of . vacation" says Quincy
Todd. "If you wait till after you
are on your vacation you are liable
to miss the whole idea OF the thing.
A fellow enjoys his vacation thor.
oughly for six months before he
goes on It. He has . heck of .
time then, for he 10 generally .
wise guy and knows that no vaca,
ton In the world ever lives MP to
its advance notices.
Anticipation Is nine-tenths Of It
and the bird who gets this angle
on the vacation thing has the whole
problem solved. He has his en-
joyment, then he goes on his vaca-
tion. which in most cases does not
last very long and isn't always -
painful - It might be, and then he
comes back homo and rests up for
eleven months for the next vaca-
ton.
"You know that vacation trip to
Paris that the Kaiser planned. He
enjoyed planning that vacation for
twenty years, getting the baggage
ready, mapping out the routes,
choosing his hotels and every
thing. but when he actually got
started on the trip It wasn't 90
much. An ordinary guy with Q
celluloid collar and q Keokuk 40
cent can have moro real enjoy
nent on Q Cooks tour Of France
than Bill had after all his arrange
ments. Now the Kaiser 10 In Hol-
land resting MP from his vacation
BY doing . little plain and fancy
woodchopping. He had the right
system. He had all his fun before
he started"
But these people who are going
over to Europe these days will
probably have . purity fair vaca-
tion at that" says Elias q. Higsin-
botham. "pertiokleriy on the way
over and on the way back. It
makes me very thirsty to think
about It."
which your idear Of . vacation
10 TO get soused." says Quincy,
and . lot Of those birds that are
getting pottsd nowadays are TAX
ing the long vacation that never
ends. A lot Of you guys believe
that every maa gets drunk as soon
as he sets foot on Q boat sailing for
Europe and spends his entire time
over there enjoying q hansover.
Now. this is entirely erroneous, as
they say N the classics. Quite .
The Washington times., 1922-06-11
Can This Be True?
BY "Bing." !"

ticulates that q girl with . dimpls
In her chin IL bad medicine for
any member Of the foolish sex.
Personally. I'd rather have q girl
with dimples in her knees; but. a.
the well.known somebodyor-other
remarked. We can't have every.
thing.
The Washington times., 1922-06-11

Mrs. smarue says that a merely
male man cannot hope to please .
girl that paints and has q dimpls
In her chin. because II she was
easily satisfied she'd leave her face
free from kalsomine and have
some surgician pull the dimple out
level with her chin. thus removing
all cause Of dissatisfaction among
everybody but them most con-
cerned.
The Washington times., 1922-06-11
Cogitations Of a Cuckoo

W ,ueiv n. printer didn't omit Ii. comma
~ aftsr his .s.5Fa- 7. .4sF
THE DUTIES or sERvANrs.
! tt Cook-Tos spread 3 st a
Upstairs Msd-ro pssk through ksyholss -55 4 ss
~ Ladies' Msid-To ovsrhsar through tansoms.
Butisr-To call the poicA - ..g. .-.s ..." ."s
chauneur-To keep mum. T. .ts.- #."s FIX. #
Groom-To marry the gin '..-,@ .s&"tg%
voices come one py ous
and the listeners the ~. - ,TI
81, OTHERWISE. - r. y
why did n drstp placefs .... ~.
=. Il didn't got drunk in place" T. sl. r. 81.
The arst hundred veterans
hardest .. -.
When girl . birthday the day
Oh she Il to take = couple years or wy,
USUAL RATES "-.
Guest-How bilf
clsrk-Whsre you sleepf
Guest-On billiard
Clerk-Fify
TIE girl . q nj
monolosus u . conversation between husband and wife
neishbos street would
bs finished musician.
A diplomat u . . birthday.
gets her
published dictionary
sutomobilehorn language
difference
between the suspender
It legal for woman to shoot at least man!
The Washington times., 1922-06-11

THLLOW 1euuomou anu rtI
r. Poultry: The mental wheel.
. wright who said them words
about women being the opposite
sex sure knew wherefrom he
spoke. Every time . genus hobo
has idea or says something the
woman always takes the opposite
view: and II they amt any oppo-
site view she makes one!
4 Lady Bug, In . recent issue Of
Q vsll-known sob rag. tells us how
to pick . mate besides closing our
eyes and making . wild stab in
the dark-as some musta done.
judging from the lack Of personal
appearance Of said mates.
Mrs. Bug says, look out for the
skirt that paints her map. The
way cute little dollkins have been
nearly dressing for the last twelve
mo. or two I don't think anybody
but another woman would notice
whether said dollkin had her face
painted or papered.
I know lots Of fair prancers
through this vale Of weeps that
have faces which look like me-
mortal windows in . church; yet
II one Of them would consent to
manhandle my bankroll for life I'd
run her to the hymeneal bond dept.
Of the nearest church so fast she'd
have eorns on her insteps.
On the other hand. l am on
slightly speaking terms with
women Of the opposite sex that
never got any nearer paint than to
fall over the pail and upset the
painters calculations; Wild women
who worked hard and long to earn
regulations that entitled them to
medals Of dishonor from their
guide. counselor and friend with
tho forked tail and horns on his
nearly forehead.
This lady with ideas all her own
which woulda been all right II
she'd hung onto 'am!-farther ar.
The Camden chronicle. (Camden, Tenn.) 1890-current, 1922-05-19
COWELL'S CHAPEL.

Reuben Barker visited near Hol--
laday Sunday.
Irl Barker of Kingston Springs,
visited homefolks Sunday.
Miss Ollie Craig is visiting rela-
tives on Eagle Greek this week.
Cason Williams and family of
Sawyer's Mill visited relatives here
Sunday.
The little child of Mr.. and Mrs.
ID. Jordan was given burial at this
place Monday.
Mr.. and Mrs. Thomas carp of
Holiday visitrd FL. L. Craig and
family Sunday.
Several from this communityare
attending the closing exercises of
Camden high school this week.
Children's day was largely at
tended at this place Sunday and
the fine program rendered was
very impressive for good.
Sunday school here every Sun.
day morning at 10 o'clock, except
the second Sunday at i o'clock and
preaching at2o'clock. Everybody
welcome.
The Camden chronicle. (Camden, Tenn.) 1890-current, 1922-05-19
THINK, THEN ACT.

Block salt, so pounds net, at80c
Saturday; eweet feed, 100 pounds
net, S1.50 up Saturday; collar pad
40c; good bride $t40; 2 bananas
DC; 2 apples SC; white syrup SAC;
good -four 81; better -four ST. 10;
best -four Sl.20. Sugar, coffee and
canned goods insline.
What is the fellow going to say
who has his block salt at 81, his
sweet feed at $1.65, his collar pad
SOC, his white syrup 60? Well
tell you. He is going to say
"Cheap stuff" but don't be fooled;
just stop; sit down and'think.
Delmonte, Libby, Campbell, etc.,
make only one grade-the best
for every merchant who will pay
pay their price. The Colonial, the
Dixie, the American make the best
cane sugar. The big flour mills
make at No l -four anyone can
get who will pay the price. So it
is not "cheap stuff because some
offer to sell it cheaper than others,
but it is because some are willing
to work on a smaller margin than
others.
Our best -four may be no better
than the other best grades of -four,
bat why pay $l35 TO 81 so for it
when you can buy as good as is
The Camden chronicle. (Camden, Tenn.) 1890-current, 1922-05-19

fore the bill is passed the consumer
is made to see one Of the blessings
of the new strictly American tariff
in the announcement by the head
of the Wooden Trust that cloth
will cost from ten to forty-fve
cents more at Wholesale"
Christian Science Monitor: Dis
cussing the glove schedule of the
bill this non. partisan paper says:
"The people Of the United States
need enlarged foreign markets, but
can not expect to sell to countries
whose goods they exclude by such
prohibitive duties as that propos.
ed on gloves. The American wom-
an, now a voter, will not willingly
submit to tariff taxes that compel
her to pay much higher prices fol
less desirable articles. When she
is told that increase. prices are due
to high tariff rates, she will be like.
ly to use her ballot against the
members of Congress responsible
for the added cost of what she
buys"
st. Paul (Minn.) Dispatch
F"What of the great unregarded
masses of consumers.'
The Camden chronicle. (Camden, Tenn.) 1890-current, 1922-05-19
COMMITTEE MEETING.

The County Democratic Com
mittee of Benton County met in
Camden Saturday May IA, 1922,
and organized by reelecting G. B.
Holladay chairman and r. A.
Swindell secretary.
Charles L. Herrin, W. H. Lash
lee, j. W. Jordan, W. M. Pafford
and Jim Byrd were elected on the
primary committee.
The committeeman from the
various districts of the county were
.interrogated by the chairman, and
they all said that things looked
good for the party everywhere;
that there were more Democrats in
the county today than at any time
in our past history.
Quite a number of the lady
members of the committee were
present, and they expressed them
selves ready and anxious to do all
they can to help land the entire
Democratic ticket in the elections
to be held this year.
G. B. HOLIDAY,
Chairman
r. A. SwINDELL,
Secretary
The Camden chronicle. (Camden, Tenn.) 1890-current, 1922-05-19
NEWS FROM
OVER COUNTY
SULPHUR CREEK.

Boyd Melton was at Big Sandy
Saturday.
D. B. Holland of Eva visited i'll
this community.
jeff Lowry and family visited on
Ramble Greek Sunday.
Tom Saunders of Camden has
been here buying stock.
I, N. Garner and wife of Big
Sandy visited here Sunday.
Rev. A. M. Melton will conduct
services at the Lowry cemetery at
10 a. m. and at Wheatley st2 p. m.
Everybody invited.
M. #. Berry, JEFF Lowry, Tom
Lowry and others carried q nice
bunch Of cattle to Camden Satnr-
day. The cattle netted them $500.
The Camden chronicle. (Camden, Tenn.) 1890-current, 1922-05-19

L. @. Crsney vs., Louisville and
Nashville Rail Road Co.
Bud johnson vs.. Alice johnson,
W. N. Hicks vs. Josie Hicks. Roy
Rushing VS.. Vivian Rushing, Ru-
by Goodman VS.. Grady Goodman,
G. E. Blake Sales Co. vs.. %. p.
Dobson.
FRIDAY 9
j. B. Livingston vs.. Il. 9. Alden
ct ais and j. G. HOFFMAN vs.. Dock
Harris.
Cases fled after this date Will be
set as follows:
Misdemeanors, Tuesday June 6,
felonies, Wednesday June 7, divor-
ces, Thursday June 8, and appeal
cases, Monday June 5.
Witness fees will be allowed on.
ly beginning the day case is set
Litigants and witnesses will please
take notice and govern themselves
accordingly.
Done by order of the court, this
May 16, 1922.
LUNIE HoLLINGswoRTH,
CLERK
The Camden chronicle. (Camden, Tenn.) 1890-current, 1922-05-19
THE TARIFF BILL.

Here are views of independent
papers on the Senate Tariff Bill:
Kansas City Star: "The bill is a
serious economic mistake, the i'm
mediate effect of which will be to
increase the cost of living"
Springfield (aiass.) } Republican:
at is open to severe attack by
those who believe that the price of
commodities should not be raised. !"
Chicago Daily News: even be-
The Camden chronicle. (Camden, Tenn.) 1890-current, 1922-05-19
CIRCUIT COURT CALENDAR
JUNE TERN, 1922.
MONDAY 5

Western Union Telephone Co.
vs.. Louisville and Nashville Rail-
way Co., Western Union Telephone
Go. vs.. Nashville, Chattanooga and
st. Louis Railway, Mrs. Ii. l..
Ward vs.. j. L. Wright, Bob Brew
er vs. M. B. Hartley, Sam Walker
VS.. Grover Garner, Ell. G. Alden,
agent of e. G. Grab VS.. j. B. Liv-
ingston, r. Ii. Craig VS. j. w Cheat
ham, @. B. Baker VS.. G. I. Lash
lee, Horn & Thompson VS.. G. T.
Lashlee, FL. B. Pafford vs.. J. r
Kee ct ais.
TUESDAY 6
State cases-Sam Cox, Purcell
Porter, (two cages) Joe Hollowell,
A. E. Marchbanks and w. d. Luth-
er, Ernest Bailey, Tip Mannon, AL
vim Wheatley, Guy Walker, Jack
Weatherly, Ulas Hatley, Arthur
Furr, Sherd Williamson. Will
Presson, Arthur Williamson, Er-
ME Mannon and Ed Rainwaters
Jack Murrell, Calvin Murrell, Will
Wheatley, Bud Hartley, John El.
lis Sam Daniel, Bennie Cooper
Elbert Hicks, John Brewer, Fer.
mon Wyatt, George Baker, San
Pinkston, Jack Melton. Berthel
Stewart and Haston Belyew, HON.
or Oxford. Nolan Pafford. Arr Nor.
wood, Atha Lashlee, Jerry carp
(two cases) Miller Cooper, John
Odom, Howard Evans, Henry
Murrell, Porter Evans, Lackey
Odom, Vernon Merrick, Farlie
Belyew ct ais, DIR. A. r. Perry
Ernest Wright, Hilary Mobiles
Priest Harris, Jake Harris, How.
ard Evans, Rosco Hatley, Ralph
Holland, Buddie Webb, Ed Kirk
Roger Herndon, Albert Berry, { two
cases) Granville Bond, j. L.
Thompson and S. A. Walker, j,
W. Saunders, Porter Evans, Leon
Cransy, Ernest ,Spicer; Homer
Nunnery, Fate Wallace, Sam Dan
ief and Lowell Barnes.
WEDNESDAY
State Cases-Tom Saunders,
Purcell Porter, Mary Jane Grafton
Eulis Williamson, Ernis Haggard
Neal Perkins and Marvin Dortch
1.-TWO cases) John Brewer and low.
ell Barnes.
THURSDAY s