Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1922-01-25


ay tank John Bann better"
PoME
would were an angleworm
Away down in the ground,
And like the worm make both end:
meet
By simply curling round.
X X y y
Maybe you can Guy Culver but you
can't Mary Webb.
X X \ x
The Modern Girl
The modern girls morals are moi
what her mothers were. ] was talk.
ing the other morning to a modern
girl in an ultra-modern bathing suit
"My hired chaperon," she said, as
she brushed a bit of sand from hei
bare, round knee-smy hired chaperor
caught me kissing a married man last
night"
"Good Heavens" said l. "What die
you do?"
81 discharged her." said the modern
girl.
Game Warden Scott Curtis says
that the fox which Eddie Peterson had
penned up in the upstairs of his black.
smith shop was too dangerous even fol
gamewarden to handle. And MINI
Potts sure saw to it that it did NOT
get away-even if he did get away
from it later.
X X X \
The Limit
I've stood for Volstead prohibition,
But one thing | will never stand,
When am called unto my fathers,
Il.
X n X X
When labor loafs, that is malinger-
ing; when capital loafs, that is bust
ness depression, says Tom Sanwick.
X X X X
Roll stockings are like regulations
hard to keep up.
The Only Lack
Mother-Well, Nellie, is your doll
kitchen completely furnished now?
Nellie--No, mama, / still need a
policeman for the cook.
~ X - \
The Wooden headed Viroqua young
man who sent his Soldiers Grove
sweetheart box of toilet soap GER
tainly paid the penalty for his lack
of tact. He lost the girl, but received
the soap back by return mail
PoME
The crime was mayhem, but
They freed John Drayer,
When he bit off the ear of
Of saxophone player.
X X X x
Just what is the difference between
publicity, and notority :?
We have often pondered the question.
In looking up definitions we find that
Mr.. Webster draws a mighty fine line
between advertising and publicity; a
sort of distinction without a defer
ence. Our conclusion is that we pay
for advertising and when we get it for
nothing it is dubbed publicity. No
toriety means very much the same
but this term is used in an unfavor-
able sense. Now how shall we char
acterize the custom of introducing a
motion picture by flashing the names
of the staff employed in it's making :?
Sometimes there are a dozen or more
from the director to the
stable boy, all unknown and likely to
remain obscure individuals in spite of
the publicity thus forced upon impa-
tent audiences!
Suppose we got out an issue of the
CCUSOf WIFI IHiS announcements.
THE CENSOR
Peer of the Penny Press!
Giant of Journals!
SCENARIO
BY the Associated Press
Assisted by Henthorn, Wolfgram,
Brown, Brown, Older and others.
HEADLINES
Titled by H e. Goldsmith.
Linotyped by Louise Sine.
Makeup by Blair r. Sherrick.
Press work by Alton Grimsrud.
Rural Delivery by Jimmy Honaker
Distribution by 400 newsboys and
others,
The Oldest One in the World
"My wife and | have been married
II years and we still hold hands. If
we let go well kill each other"
The ultra-fashionable ,viroqua lady
surely got all that was coming to her
the other day when she went into
Henry Rogers store and asked him
for fashionable skirt. "Yes'm," says
Henry, How do you want it-too
tight or too short"
Yea Bo
It's easy enough to be happy
When the world moves along like a
clock,
But the man that's worth while
Is the guy who can smile
With hole in the toe Of his sock.
X X X X
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-3eeIS l.ussop sIsMog ql!M u SuI6BS
y
Alta Boy
The insurance companies deny they
nave done anything wrong, and prom
sc to right.
X X
The Sunday closing law nearly turn
ed Ben brown and Ezra white, and if
the pavement dance hadn't been a sue
cess You would have found Irene SUBJ
tie.
X y
Fool Questions
o. W. P. asks: ''Why do they call
saxophone a musical instrument /"
Nobody knows o. W. P. any more than
they know why COW thinks it can
sing.
For those who are in doubt as to
he name of the dance that Editor
Goldsmith puts on at the married
folks dances, we are about to inform
hem. The dance has been known to
he medical profession since the mind
IF man runeth not to the contrary,
and they term it 'St.Vitus."
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