davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1922-04-22
THE
= 49, - % s-ssysz=S = 2 = -. = =,
Twentieth
Century. &c q . !:
Why He Is There

. North Woods declares that prom
inent citizen of St. Paul insists that
while visiting the asylum at St. Peter
recently he asked an inmate why he
was there and that the man replied:
"Well sir, you see, married a
widow with grown-up daughter, and
then my father married my Wife's
daughter, and that made my wife the
mother-in-law OF, her father-in-law,
and my father" became my step-son.
"Then my step-mother, the daught-
er. of my wife, had a son, and that
boy Of course was my brother, be-
cause he was my fathers son; but he
was also the son Of my .wife's step
daughter, and therefore his grand
son. and that made me grandfather
of my step brother.
"Then my wife had a son, so my
mother-in-law the step sister Of my
son, is also her grandmother, because
d he is her step-son's child; my father
is the -brother-in-law of my child, be-
cause his step sister is his wife; / am
the brother of my own son, who is
also the son of my stepgrandmother;
I am my mothers brother-in-law; my
wife is her own child's aunt; my son is
my fathers nephew, and l am my own
grandfather. ...,. I .--.~>E
"That's why I am here"
Well Say He's There "
Not For Him
"Here boy" said the man to the
boy who was helping him drive a
bunch of cattle, "hold'this bull min
ute will you?" -.
"No," answered the boy, 81 don't
mind being a director in this company
but I'm darned if want to be stock
holder" 80 E-s.r"5 g..
NO Bull For Him
Gets Some Attention
A bride Of the ~Bahuma tribe in
Uganda shows that she accepts the
bridegroom as her husband by taking
mouthful Of milk and squirting it
over him.
! Amt We Got Fun.
Oh You Wedding Ring
In Congoland, the, bride wears her
wedding ring on the leg, not on the
finger. It is not made of gold, but of
brass, and may weigh anything up to
Is pounds. It's no wonder the men
think their wives have lot of brass.
They Know It
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1922-04-22
PRESBYTERIAN DIVISION :y,s
HOLDS MEETING MONDAY

The, dining room division Of the
Ladies Aid Of the Presbyterian
church will meet Monday afternoon
at the home. Of Mrs. o. H. Erickson,
1873 Twelfth street, and the chair
man, Mrs, B. A.; Dilley, urges that
all members be present. &
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1922-04-22
Not For Him
No Bull For Him
Cets Soma Attention

A bride Of the ~Bahuma tribe in
Uganda shows that she accepts the
bridegroom as her husband by taking
a mouthful Of milk and squirting it
over him.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1922-12-22
High School Notes

The senior class went to Pendleton
Monday to have their pictures taken
for the annual.
Superintendent Hadley returned
Monday from attending the funeral
of his father at Salem. Mrs. Hadley
will visit relatives in the valley until
after the holidays.
With the exception of Mr.. and Mrs.
Basler the teachers will go to various
points to spend the holidays. Mr..
Hadley will visit relatives at Portland
and Salem, Miss Christensen will go
to Newberg, Miss Morgan goes to
her home in eastern Idaho, Mr..
Lutrell will be in Portland as will
Miss Scharmann and Miss Cries.
Miss Chandler will go to Spokane.
Mr.. Hadley will attend the sessions
of the Oregon State Teachers Associ-
alton, which will be held in Portland
the 9th and 28th of December. He
goes as delegate from Umatilla
county.
Miss Williams is taking the teach
er's examinations at Pendleton this
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1922-12-22

with D. F. Brown to furnish the
power for term of five years, at
$500 per annum, to continue the
electric lights.
j. N. B. Gerking was Pendleton
visitor Saturday.
Miss Leola Young is in Union coun-
ty spending the holidays with friends,
C. M. Garden and wife spent Sun
day with friends in Pendleton.
Miss Lulu Gates, of Adams, is re-
ported to be in critical condition.
Tuesday night Dolph Lodge, No.
80, A. r. & A. NJ, installed the
following officers: Clark Walter,
W. M: A. B. McEwen S. w: G. M.
Morrison. w.; B. D. Clemons, Treas
ure; R. o. Hawks, Secretary; VIM.
Chamberlain, S. D.; w. D. Parker, J.
D.; S. A. Maloney, Tyler.
The charity ball given for the ben
eft of the poor of Athena, at the
opera house last Friday night, was a
success, both socially and financially.
The total number of tickets sold at
75 cents each, amounted to $34.25.
The expenses, including music, caller
for dance, hall rent and printing,
amounted to $20.25 leaving balance
in the hands of the committee of
S14.25.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1922-12-22
KITTENS ALL 1cAME BACK"
Man Tried to Lose Them, but KIND
hearted Woman Spoiled His
Carefully Laid Plans.

A Jackson county farmer recently
decided that his household possessed
four nonessential cats. His children,
however, did not agree with him; at
least they would not consent to any
fatal form of riddance. Finally
compromise was reached whereby the
superfluous cats were to be banished-
taken far from home and left to look
out for themselves. The children,
however, insisted upon conditional
banishment They demanded that the
cats be placed where they could find
new home without too discouraging
search.
So the next time the farmer had oc-
casion to go to Kansas City the ex-
cess cats were sacked and loaded into
the family ''fiivver." About five miles
from home he observed favorable
looking house. The most favorable
feature at the moment was an appar-
emily temporary absence of human oc-
cupants. The farmer preferred to
make an unostentatious presentation.
The string which bound the mouth
of the sack was quickly united. Just
before the slowly moving car came op-
posite the house the farmer lifted the
sack and, leaning over the farther
side Of the car, poured the contents
Of the sack out upon the highway.
Then he stepped on the gas.'
Returning home that afternoon the
farmer was seized with feeling Of
misgiving as he neared the scene of
parting. He saw a woman signal
him to stop and he could think Of no
good excuse for ignoring the signal.
Stimulating extreme perplexity he
stopped the car. The woman ap-
preached and deposited sack in
the tonneau.
"You lost your cats this morning,
mister. I happened to be looking out
the window when they tumbled from
your car. They were little wild, but
we gathered them all up-four Of
'em."
THANK y0u," mumbled the owner Of
the cats as he drove on. He wondered
how many grinning faces were watch
ing him from the house.--Kansas City
Star.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1922-12-22

are equally wholesome, but are more
digestible cooked.
Lettuce and Apple Salad.--Take six
tablespoonfuls of olive oil, two table
spoonfuls of cider vinegar, table
spoonful of salt, few dashes Of white
pepper and two tablespoonfuls Of
grated apple. Beat the oil, vinegar and
seasonings until thick. Wash and dry
the lettuce. Add the grated apple to
the dressing just before serving. The
same amount Of grated carrot may be
added with the apple and bit Of
onion juice, for variety.
Apple Fritters.-Take one cupful Of
flour, one-fourth teaspoonful of salt,
one-half teaspoonful Of baking powder,
two eggs, one-half cupful Of milk, one
half cupful of sugar and three apples.
Sift the flour, salt and baking powder
together Beat the eggs and turn them
and the milk into the -four. Beat these
together thoroughly. Dip slices Of
apple into the batter and fry brown
In deep fat.
Baked Apples With Nuts.-Peel and
core as many apples as desired and
place them in deep pan with heap
ing tablespoonful of sugar and one
half eupful of water for each apple.
Place in the center Of each apple a
spoonful Of chopped nuts and strip
of orange or lemon peel. Sprinkle with
nutmeg or cinnamon and bake slowly
until the juice becomes jeily-like.
Fried AppIes.-Place Tablespoonful
of butter in frying pan; when hot
fill the pan with apples cut into
elghths. Sprinkle with sugar and
flour and let them brown. then turn
and let them brown again. II pre-
ferred, the apples may be cored, then
sliced in rings. Leaving the skin on
keeps the apple from breaking.
Apple cake.--Make a one-egg cake
batter, pour into pan and cover the
top with quarters of peeled apple Bake
and serve with a brown sugar sauce
for dessert or as a cake with coffee
or tea at luncheon.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1922-12-22

States Divide on S. PC. p. Divorce.
Washington, ID. c. - Railroad COM
missions representing two western
states, California and Nevada, have
asked the interstate commerce COM
mission to continue the merger of the
Southern Pacific and Central Pacific
railroads, which the supreme court
has ordered dissolved, while commits
sions of two other states, Wyoming
and Idaho, have urged approval Of the
separation. Representative Mondell,
house republican leader, made the
principal argument for Wyoming in
supporting the separation decree.
St. Paul Man For Supreme Court.
Washington, D. C,-Pierce Butler of
st. Paul, Minn., a democrat, was nom-
mated by President Harding as asso-
ciate justice of the supreme court to
take the place made vacant by the
resignation of Associate Justice Day.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1922-12-22
LOCOMOTIVE NOW DIGS DITCH
Work Done Is in Marked Contrast to
the Old Days of Pick-and-shoveI
Brigade.

The new method Of digging a ditch
alongside railroad track is to hitch
a kind of scoop to the front of loco
motive. BY this means twenty miles
of ditch can be plowed in one day at
a cost Of about $6.25 per mile.
The ditch can be thus dug three feet
deep and fourteen feet from the GEN.
ter line of the track, the amount Of
dirt removed being eighteen cubic feet
per lineal foot of ditch. The operation
of the digging machine is controlled
from the deck of the locomotive by air
valves.
Contrasted with the old pick-and-
shovel method, the locomotive ditch
digger has achieved what, years ago,
was regarded as physical impossi-
bility so far as speed is concerned
Milwaukee Sentinel.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1922-12-22
Community Cow.

The church-by-the- he-side-of-the-road in
Greensboro, N. G., has a community
cow, rented out at 81 week to fam
lilies who cannot afford to buy cows.
The proceeds are being saved to buy
other cows so that eventually there
may be community herd. The COM
munity COW was first placed with a
family of six children. A. w. McAlis-
ter, one of the founders of the church.
Observation-Disclosures writes: "You
should see how these children are
bloss0ming forth. You can see the
bloom in their cheeks, and the scales
have story to tell also. At least
once week our community nurse
looks in on the community cow to see
how she is and how she is being
treated. Survey.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1922-12-22
26 Years Ago

In Pendleton there lives a man
named Money. Hard times should
never trouble that gentleman.
Machinery is on hand at Ukiah for
creamery that will have a capacity
of handling milk from $50 cows.
Mrs. William Schultz and son, Of
Wallace Idaho, are the guests of Mr..
and Mrs. M. M. Johns, at their home
west Of town this week.
The marriage of DR.. ]. e. Bingham,
of Walla Walla to Miss Emma Lewis,
daughter Of wealthy Portland grocer
took place in Portland yesterday.
The city of Milton will contract
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1922-12-22
A Little Difference. \,

President Ethel Enders Ellison Of
the Housewives league said at moth
ers' meeting In Denver:
mo marriage is complete without
offspring. No young wife knows true
happiness till she holds her firstborn
to her breast.
"But never let maternal love usurp
your marital love. A good many young
wives. after baby comes, are like the
one who said to me:
Dear. dear babyl love him so.
He's learned to coo now, and he just
lies and talks to me by the hour
"Then her lip curled and she added:
Different from my husband. He
just talks and lies to me by the hour"
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1922-12-22
Historic sword Found In River.

A sword which has been recovered
from the Tweed at Berwick. Scotland,
In a salmon net has been identified
as one presented by the city of Aber-
deem to Col. Alexander Tower Of Fer
ryhill and Logic, In recognition of his
service In raising the Aberdeen pike
men, whom he commanded, in 1903.
He became member of parliament for
Berwick in 1906. The sword was
stolen from house In Tweedmouth
81 years ago, and the burglar after.
ward admitted having thrown 1t and
other booty into the river from Ber-
wick bridge.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1922-12-22
Haynes
Phone SCI for Prompt Service
Mrs. Basler is substituting

week. Mrs. Basler is substituting
for her.
The Christmas holidays will last
till Tuesday January 2.
Christmas program was given by
the grade school pupils this after
noon. After the program the eight
grade girls played the Freshman
girls, and the eight grade boys
played the high school scrubs in a
very exciting contest of basketball.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1922-12-22
Far From The Maddlra Crowd.

II understand you are going to take
vacation.
"A vacation is what they call it,p re-
piled Senator Sorghum. "But what
am going to do is to get to seme Sc
cluded spot where can worry about
a whole lot Of things without being OBJ
served
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1922-12-22

COiituIK1o uIuiIC uSIU WEfIStI
is a great germ destroy
er and the water and
other mineral matters
make 1t an effective
liver and stomach tonic.
San apple a day keeps
the doctor away" is an
old and well-trled recipe.
Fresh or cooked annlea
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1922-12-22

Irish Rebel Leader Executed.
Dublin. = Erskine Childers, chief
lieutenant of Eamonn de Valera. was
executed for having had an automatic
pistol in his possession.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1922-12-22
7Tibe TTCH HIIEN
CAIBl[Q|EHIH
"For never anything can be amiss,
When simpleness and duty tender It."
GOOD THINGS FOR THE FAMILY

The apple is richer in phosphorus
than any other fruit or vegetable; It
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1922-12-22

For Sale-A good sleigh; bobs on
hack gear. Enquire at Press office.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1922-12-22

For Sale-A splendid variety Of
popcorn. ]. E. Froome.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1922-12-22

Wanted to rent-A piano in good
condition. Mrs. May Crowley.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1922-12-22

For Rent-Furnished house. Mrs.
DePeatt, Athena.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1922-12-22
CLASSIFIED

For Sale-A good Fisher upright
piano. Enquire at the Press Office.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1922-12-22

For Sale-Fresh milk COW; gives
five gallons per day. Mrs. Lila Kirk.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1922-06-08
RADIO DEPARTMENT


Our Program-ABC
Attorney Genet Gal Daugheruy
Song, entitled, Troubles, Troubles,
Everywhere"
saflsss:ax -
ASK DAD!
Marion-George was the goal of
my ambitions, but
Mildred-But what?
Manion-Fatherk kicked the goal.
-
HAD THE GRIT
"Dar am one ting All like bout
de Prodigal Son." said the negro
preacher: ode boy had de git ter walk
home stead er telepraphin' fer
money"
f.
A lot thirds are already worry
ing about their vacations and most
of their employers are wondering
why they want vacations.
f.
WHY WILL THEY Do 1T?
She cannot dance the toddle,
For she is much too fat,
But you should see her waddle; &
She shakes the floor at that.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1922-06-08
PERHAPS

Maybe the reason SO many women
insist upon eating things that dis
c gree with them is because they love
an argument SO.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1922-06-08

;. insist upon eating things that DIS
! cgree with them is because they love
an argument SO.
s.
"And you must avoid all sweet
things" concluded the doctor.
Now listen, DOCTOR, said the swain,
] 'can't even go to see my best girl Z?
OF all the winning doubly blest
! The sailors wifes the happiest
For all she does is stay at home
lNnd knit and darn-and let 'em roam.
OF all the husbands on the earth
The sailor has the finest berth
For in s cabin he can sit
And sail and sail-and let 'er knit.
81 F.
= TRUTHS WE NEVER HEAR
Your daughter has the worst voice
;. i ever heard. She ought to have it
fled"
Voters Yin Kansas towns have de-
cided by large majority to require
all school girls to wear skirts that
reach three inches below their knees.
From which we are to, assume, of
course, that the immodest part of
girls legs is the top section OF the
shin bone.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1922-06-08
CAUSE OF POWDER

what are those things 2"
Life buoys. They will keep you
from drowning if you go overheard"
"Uh. I wondered what they were
doing with spare tires on paator
boat"
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1922-06-08
GALLANTRY

Charles Rummel dealer advertises
that he has something interesting in
silk stockings. Nearly everything
in silk stockings is interesting.
#
Harvey DeMars says some men go
about their business quietly and
other drive fivers.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1922-06-08
HIS OPINION

what is this alleged work Of art? 2"
cts frieze."
sIt's a frost"
f.
A Kansas paper says the defini-
ton of mugwump is man sitting on
a rail fence-with his mug on one
side and his wump on the oother.
LEAVING IT TO CHANCE
Mr.. Higgins-Your sister, Philip
pa, is taking longer time than usual
in dressing. What's the matter?
Little Elsie She's spinning her
"But- Take" top to decide what to
put on and what to take off.
go.
If man starts to dig hole in
the street it will not be long until
ten men will be watching him and
each man of them will know more
about how it should be done than
the man who is doing it, at least they
think they do and are ready to give
their advice regarding it.
--l-
SWAT EN- EARLY
''The early f1y's the one to swat
It comes before the weather's hot,
And sits around and flies its legs
And lays at least million eggs,
And every egg will bring fly
To drive us crazy by and by.
r
Of course, says Art Anderson wo-
men wear some awfully funny look
ing things, but celluliod collar is
not one of them.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1922-06-08
90 kNlkI ~

The ideal hammock, says Jens Al
brechson should be just large enough
for one, but strong enough for two.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1922-06-08
SWAT EN- EARLY
COMFORTING

O~~]S~~ - - = =.
Old Lady-Oh, sir, please stop the
train! I've dropped my wig out
the window.
Fellow Passenger-Never mind
madam! There is switch just
this side of the next station.
f.
Some things to ponder o'er--Why
is it that the principal rivers al
ways run by large cities-The for
tune of Washington, Lincoln and
Uncle Sam to have been born on Ma
tional holidays?
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1922-06-08
TEE s.:. PROCINE PERSON

Man is somewhat a sausage
Very smooth upon the skin;
But you can't tell just exactly
How much hog there is within.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1922-06-08

Some centenarians attribute their
long life to a certain kind of patent
medicine, some because they eat just
what they want, some because they
never smoked, chewed or drank,
some to one thing and some to an
other, but they are all agreed on one
point-that they were born SO long
ago.
-
Out in Des Mcines, Ia, another VIC
man has pulled that bone about dis
covering after living with her hus-
band for eighteen months that she
is woman. Heinz preserve US: Do
your own commenting!
-
A man went n a Washburn store
tie other day and asked for brief
case. "Whst size?" said the clerk.
"What sizes do you have?' said the
customer. "Well we have one size
that is. very popular, called the
Quartfolio."
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1922-06-08
Ow Change Of Policy onq q Ter De


CARRYING THIS LETTER
ssN fsasas@1 ss
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1922-06-08
THE PALACE STORE

WHICH HAS BEEN GOING ON FOR SOME TIME is GROWING
BEING EVENT THE KIND
PEOPLE THIS VICINITY. sa.asss .ks@
FROM MINNEAPOLIS MILWAUKEE MADISON
MANY OTHER PLACES AND ALL ARE ASTONISHED
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1922-11-21
WILL EXCHANGE FOR
CITY PROPERTY

so cows summer and winter can be kept
on this 800 acre farm. Located only one
and one-half miles from North Montpelier
creamery. two miles from Plainfield. LarKs
two-story colonial style brick house with
open fireplaees barn with tie-ups for 52
head splendid fields for tractor work ;
quantity Of wood and an extra good sugar
place of about 500 NAPLES fruit. The
barn Is equipped with milking machine
farm IL stocked with Al head of cattle. 5
horses, including one heavy fancy .eam.
hogs. 40 hens. tools Of all kinds. including
sulky plow. manure snreader. 8 h. y. en-
CINE. reaper and binder. rake teddcr. mow-
ing machine. harrows. wagons, sleds. har-
nesses, lot Of wood. dairy tools. all hay, ST.
lage. about 500 baskets OF corn. everything
all ready to step right into, . good fat
creamery check from the start Come in
and see photo of buildings. Price tor
quick eaie. $1,000
Farm with lumber and wood sufficient 10
pay for it. near Marshfeld Good house
and extra good barn with high drive Build
ngs lighted by electricity: las acres three
woodlots. Farm viii carry lot Of stock
and the wood and lumber will more than
pay for It VIII exchange for small farm
or City property. or sell on easy terms.
Price $500.
Now Is the time to get located before
cold weather Make your plans ut once.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1922-11-21
FARMS FOR SALE

FOR SALE OR EXCHANGE Farm con-
taining 100 acres 90 tillage pastures,
brock watered: will keep 20 COWS S-rocui
house in good repair; barns, stanchions
for is cows sugar orchard Of 1000 trees
fruit; estimated 700 cords wood. $4,000
lumber inquire OF WI w. Perkins, Real Es-
tate Agent, Bethel. vt. costs
FOR EXCHANGE 100 acre-farm with
good buildings. tools. as. 80 tons good
hny I. the farm ii located 20 miles from
Barre. near school, mail delivered. 2M
miles To village and creamery: would like
TO exchange for smaller place. not over 3
miles from Barre. or ! might consider
cottage in Barre: George Henchel. l65
Washington street, Barre. 2osA'
FOR SALE-Farrn Of 81 acres with stock
and tools, best Of soil, 4 miles from
Barre, 1a-mie from East Montpelier de-
pot might consider exchange for cottage in
Barre; Charles J. Abbiati. East Montpelier.
Tel. se2-lb. loetf
FOR SALE---villaRe farm. 30 acres. 4, niiIes
from Montpelier; John r. BENJAMIN,
Barre. Tel. l05-R. 1Stf