Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1922-05-24

rectory?
Drug Clerk (peevishIyl-It's in
back, and I'm too busy now to get it.
/ Customer-0h, all right. | wanted
| to buy two boxes of cigars here to
send to friend but I'd forgotten his
address. Goodby.-Life.
! 1t was visiting day aboard ship and
the newest COB was strolling along the
deck with his sweetheart in that par
ticular port. Along came the main
gazabo himself, but the COB did not
salute. The main gazabo, having the
rudiments of humanity in his system,
did not give him public bawling out
but called him aside and administered
a few weil-chosen words.
| What did he want of you? asked
that particular sweetheart when the
COB came back.
Oh, answered the latter easily, he
/ just wanted to consult me on bit of
naval discipline he happened to be
thinking about.
r. 4 y
Asking Too Much
| don't want to eat this egg. It's not
nice egg" protested the six-year-
daughter of the house at the breakfast
/ table.
MARY" said her mother sternly,
you are always complaining of your
food. Eat what is placed before you
every bite of it-without another word,
or else I'll have to give you good
spanking"
4 All was quiet for some minutes.
Then from the other end of the table
sounded a mournful voice.
Mother. dear, do ! have to eat the
beak, too ?"
Those getting in on the ground floor
often find there is no elevator.
/ 4 X n
! Advance Announcement
A business man advertised for an
| Office boy. The next morning there
1 were some fifty boys in line. He was
about to begin examining the appli-
cants when his stenographer handed
him card on which was scrubbed:
Don't do anything until you see
me. Pm the last kid in line, but I'm
telling you I'm there with the goods"
-Everybody's.
If you keep on treading the right
track, you are likely some day to get
an unexpected "lift".
L - -
The Gay Dog-"The woman marry
must have three qualifications: Pro-
perty, Riches and Money"
4 Il y
Genuine courtesy springs from the
heart, not from the lips.
To get on, learn to get on with other
people.
A Bifurcated Honeymoon
Honey" said the colored sutton,
"when we gifts married you amt gwine
to give up dat good job you has work
in for de white folks, is your
'But amt we gwine to have hon
eymoon an take trip on de train
somewhere 2"
zone of us might go honey. Dey
amt thing holdin' me, but you's got
'sponsibilities. p Birmingham A g e.
Herald.
Success is ambition entirely sur
rounded by enthusiasm and endeavor.
Strange, isn't it, that people will buy
unadvertised goods, but wouldn't take
an unsigned check in the hope of pass
ing it off again.
A big brain, like a big bank roll, is
of little use unless put to use.
n 4 ~ X
Where ignorance is safety. A Vir-
ginia man never saw an Automobile
until last Friday, his 9Sth birthday
That's one reason he's SO.
~ y *.x
Beware of any immediate profit that
will cost you future goodwill.
n 4
II you feel certain that you will fail
in business, the chances are ten-to-one
that you viii not be disappointed.
There is nothing so hopeless as the
man who only hopes.
Traffic Manners Again
Scene-Crowded thoroughfare
! Impatient motorist--Come on, my
man, get out of the wayi
Costermonger Tin donkey cart)--
Righto, guv-norl Where'n / Coup
the lamp post or dahn the drain?
4 y X n
Advertising and salesforce must
work in harmony for major results.
n
How Big Was IT. .
II don't know whether to accept this
testimonial or not" unused the hair re-
j storer man.
4 whats the matter with it?" de-
manded the advertising manager.
4 "WelI, explained the boss, "the man
writes: 4 used to have three bald
spots on the top of my head, but since
using one bottle of your hair restorer
| have only one STRAY Stories.