The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1922-02-01
The Diary of a Pale Blue Ass.
never saw q pale blue ass;
I've always wished to see one.
Meanwhile 1 do my level best
Endeayoring to be one.
u. l. T.

Jan. 28-Poor old diary! There coolies
of blank pages in you-so many, In TACT, that
am wondering If these vagrant thoughts
should be chronicled beneath different cap
ton: The Occasional Diary of p. B. A, for in
stance. You see, old diary, the ulfhcuIty lies
here: | don't enter these things daily keep
eTS of bona fde diaries do; but on some eve
ming when l anticipate shortening the next
days colyum labor / fill up a couple of pages
of diary, so-called, and turn it over to Friend
Bill the next day. Poor Bill is harassed
enough, too, without attempting to Qeciphcr
the tipping of my old blind Fox-the machine
L keep at home, partly through sentimental
and partly through inability to purchase bet
ter typewriter. Eheu. Well
1 left my downy couch Gt is, of course,
neither downy nor couch, but that is poetic
phrase and i, alleged to be poet, should use
poetic phrases)-as 1 was saying, left my
downy couch at the usual hour, and the Young
Rufdan left his d. C also at the usual hour.
Breakfast for three and a hasty run for the
car-which 1 missed Walked TO work and
arrived nearly on time. didn't need the sx-
ercse Of walking to work, either. Last night
the Argus class held an extra session at the
'Y' and !, with my usual good fortune,
sprained my right thumb. This morning it
looks like young ham and feels like
well, most anyone might guess what it feels
like.
Worked late on the colyum. Home at C.
At 7:15 The Lady Who Hates to Darn my
Socks decided we would go downtown /
wasn't enthusiastic but compromised as usual.
AS we lett the front door we noticed sparks
flying gaiy from the roof Of our neighbours
house. 1 investigated and found they came
from the chimney. We hurried to catch the
car and when four blocks from home heard
the devilish shrek of a fire truck siren. Turn
ing we saw the blamed thing headed in the
general direction of our home T. L. W. H. t.
ID. m. S. Immediately headed in the same d.
rection, positive, of course, that our neigh
boris house fire. 1 followed-naturally
We arrived breathless to find there was no
fire Then began another .feversh to
catch another car Eventually we arrived
downtown-and eventually we arrived at home
again after stopping to call on Bilys parents
and bring our offspring home. A lively eve
ming for pair of old folks, must say. There
should be an ordinance against tlre sirens max
ing noise.
Jan. 29-Lingered in bed until o'clock
None of US went to Sunday school or church
had an enjoyable session with the furnace
carrying out half a ton of ashes and cleaning
up the basement floor. After that a shave and
"a shampoo. Considered another bath but
finally decided with Old Doc Brady that too
many baths are harmful. Read the Sunday
Trib and was filled with regret to note that
r. H. L., latest conductor of the orphaned
Line, had written a poem about THE army's
new pink pants" The content of the poem
was funny the construction was-well, it was
funny, too; but perhaps he did it purposely
man who told the weird tale of Black Hawk
that he told years ago at the Watch Tower is
capable of anything.
At o'clock we started for the Bettses. who
had invited us out to eat bite or two with
them Sister and the Young Ruffian took the
car. My better nine tenths" decided we
should walk. a dozen blocks from home her
right tendon of Achilles developed a charley
horse, or something, which hampered our prog
ress considerably. We reached the Bettses at
O'Clock, The Lady showing a heavy list to
the port side. Her appetite, however was un
impaired. Mine was not good Five or six 7
helplngs OF everything on the table was the
best l could do.
Later we went to church We were guiltv
OF the gross error of supposing the Young Ruff
nan might behave himself. After so minutes
OF the song service he had completely disiIln
stoned u.s. so he and 1 retreated to the rea
of the church where we parked until the service
ended. Small boys possess neither poIiteness
nor hypocrisy; when they are bored thew make
it known Immediately.
Home at 10 o'clock or thereabouts To he'd
shortly thereafter.
DEAR MAC" concludes Es EIbee saint
that swell wrlte-up? Did you notice the last
paragraph? Well, glance below will answer
that.
A Sort of Holy Roller. as II Were.
IClipped by Es Elbee from the Mount Vernon
(1a-) Record.
Interment will be in the Linwood
cemetery. Cedar Rapids, besides the re-
mains of the husband who had gone he
fore, taking the IL O'Clock interurban
car
ORDINARILY we are not surprised at |
anything.
BUT we were almost dumfounded at Lens
plea OF mot guilty.
STILL. perhaps he's only kidding US
R. E. MIG.