The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1922-10-25
Dorothy Dix Tails
Women and Weddings.
m p0HoTHf DIX


Why are mothers always anxious to
have thier daughters marry, and loath
to have their sons marry?
There's never any trouble at q we'd
ding to tell which Is the brides fam
ily. and which the bridegroom's. The
ysriest stranger could pick out which
is which without the slightest chance
of making a mistake The brides
mother is wreathed in smiles. and
wears the triumphant air OF the cat
that. has just eaten the canary, WINE
the bridegroom's mother has the de-
pressed and done-for expression of the
late deceased bird.
From the time q girl baby is born
her mother begins to plan for her
wedding She holds marriage up be-
fore the girl as the chief aid and end
of woman's life. While daughter IS
still in her pigtails, she begins culti-
waiting callow kids with weather eye
| to their being possible future son-in-
laws when they grow up
! And when the girl finally makes
her debut, mother rolls up her sleeves
and gets on the husband hunting job
/ in earnest and never rests unui sne
sits back with. a sigh of contentment
1 in the front row in church, and listens
to the wedding march, that to her is
a paean of victory, for il marks her
triumph in getting Mamie. or Sadie
| married.
| Far otherwise does a woman feel
4 ABOUT her son 8 marriage. 0lu OOCSh
| tout matrimony to him. She warns
him against 1t. and she keeps him out
of it as long IS she can. She doesn
encourage young girls to come around
| the house unless they are so homeiy
j and hopeless she knows son couldn't
! be hired to show them any attention.
(; She picks a thousand flaws in every
maiden son fancies, and when, at last.
in spite of all mother can do to pre-
vent 1t, son gets married, the wedding
bells ring dirges in her heart
| OF course mother will deny these
statements, btt they are true. never
theless. Else why does the mans
mother always weep at a wedding,
while the girls mother wears the grin
THAT won't come off?
of this would be the case. One would
think that every woman who had.
: herself, known wifehood. and mother
hood, with all that they inevitably
bring Of risk. ard suffering. and sor-
row. and anxiety to woman would
hold her little daughter back from
, the altar almost as she would hold
!; her back from death itself. IL she
: could. For in marriage it Is women
; who take their lives and their hap
piness in their hands, and chance 1t
: all on having got the right man in
+. stead of a rounder for husband.
They do not know, as a man knows.
what they are marrying. And their
mothers are so anxious to get them
married they do not look the gift
horse in the mouth, or even ask for
his pedigree and record of past per-
!. formances. Strange and incredible
l that d, mother should be particular
[ about the character of the girl her
son marries. and utterly indifferent
I as to the character of the man her
l daughter marriesi
= A mother also knows how COM
s pietely woman's life is in her hus-
bands hands, and how easily he may
break her heart, and make her miser-
able. He need not be a bad man to
do it. He may be as moral as the Ten
Commandments, yet wreck his wife $
happiness by stinginess, by temper.
by surliness, by utter lack of tender
ness, and understanding.
No man with a mean wife, is in
= as hard luck as the woman with q
mean husband, because the man has
his career, his outside interests. he
: can get away from his wife, but the
, woman is bound to her home, and its
j., interest. and she must find her con-
tent with life there or else miss ii
entirely.
Knowing, then, how much greater
: risks her daughter runs in marriage
than her son, why does a woman
drive her girls to marry, and her boys
to stay single?
The old answer used to be that mat
S riTnony was matter of money 50
far as girls were concerned. Parents
wished to shift their expense on hus-
bands, and invcigle some man into
supporting them. This argument has
no force now. In practically every
s family in these days. where a daugh-
ter's meal ticket and clothes cut any
? figure, the girl is self-supporting by
, the time she is old enough to marry.
She not only is not a financial drain
- on the family purse. but she con-
tributes to it far more literally tina n
: does her brother.
A~A@ ~