The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1922-01-20

up or saw off half dozen inches or
SO. just so longs the casket's some
twhere in the neighborhood, it's all
right. Oh, yes, we're awfrlly care
| full round here, >ain,t we? Sometimes
we even remember near enough TO
know how many minutes there are in
the hour between twelve and one to be
able to get back from lunch by the
time the clocks ready to strike two.
It's somewhere in the neighborhood, so
suppose it's all right" he says,
kinder sarcastic-like.
Then he wheels on the bookkeeper.
lis that the way we make out bills?
And worse than that, is that the way
we pay bills around this shop? What
sort Of q set Of bum fgurers have /
got here, anyhow? Is this an office
or an almshouse? No wonder my
bank balance can't be kept straight,
and every once in a while check or
note comes back marked no funds,
with STAT protest fees tackled on, and
my rating drops $4,000 in Brad
streets.
"Why. this is perfectly simple
problem" he goes on; NOW ] want
you dummies OF listen and help me
work it out. Bills brother Tom is 6
feet old and Toms been growing two
years to Bits inch and Bill is three
times as old as Tom was tall when
Bill was as old as Tom is now. Don't
you see?1
aO-o-o-o-o-h," says the stenogra-
pher, as she draws a long sigh, Zoo
o-o-o-o-h; why, in that case is inches
couldn't be just right; now, could 1t 2"
could see the old man was boiling,
but luckily, just about that minute the
door opened and the foreman of the
casket factory slides in.
Have you got any casket in stock
that will fit this order?" roared the
old man. "We've got to get it out on
the first train"
"Most likely, we've got it," says the
foreman, "our stocks pretty full.
What is tit"
"Well,' says the old man, cts this
way. You see: Bill was 6 feet in his
socks and Tom is Say, Petey," he
broke in, "you tell him, my Ups are
chapped."
Then | went over it, reading it care
full from my memorandum.
The foreman stops to scratch his
head minute, and then he says:
Gimme a paper. Gimme pencil.
Gimme time" hands him over the
stub of Faber | had just wore out
working on the blamed thing. He
figured for about ten minutes, and af-
ter marking up all the wall paper on
one side Of the office, he climbed up
onto chair and was ciphering on the
ceiling when the old man howls:
"Ain't you got foot rule out there
in the factory? If you amt, I'll buy
you gross"
Eyes, but" interposed the cashier
"But! But yourself out of here!
You're fired! Get outl Skedaddle!
Put on your coat! Everybody's fired,
I'll get new force! III get a new
factory! Think Pm going to trust my
bank account to bunch who don't
know enough to answer a simple
question. Say, Petey," the boss blurts
out finally, 81 wish you would jump on
car and run out to the foolish fac
tory and get me two or three new
bookkeepers and stenographer or
two and foreman for the factory"
Then all of sudden smile come
over his face and he puffed up like a
pouter pigeon and he says, says he:
Didn't tell you? 1t takes the old
man to dope this thing out!" And he
sticks his thumbs into the armholes of
his vest and taps his chest with the
tips Of his fingers as he chuckles:
81 knowed could figure it out"
Then he turned to the foreman.
You're reinstated. Everybody's rein
stated Ship the blame fool car
load of caskets-one of every size
we've got in stock, and tell him to re-
turn the ones he don't want"
Simple, wasn't it?
But say! Get out your own pencil
and do little figuring yourself. Now,
honestly, how tall was Tom Jingle?
--Eckels' Embalmer.