The Columbus dispatch. (Columbus, Miss.) 19??-1922, 1922-01-15
ONLY PIGS

f@t"N"'' "iNN"' "fNN'''i H'''N H'NS
Pig.
"Grunt, grunt grunt," said Porky
Pig.
Its the best thing | ever heard
Of" said Brother Bacon.
at most certainly is" said Sammy
Sausage.
1--WE never heard of anything so
NICE" said Master Pinky Pig.
And his mother added,
"It's fine, squeal, squeal, it's fine"
al agree" said Miss Ham. And she
grunted five times, one grunt after
the other to show that she agreed.
"What are you all talking about 2"
asked Red Top, the rooster.
you don't know" asked all the
pigs.
"oh yes, know said Red Top,
growing proudly.
"Then why did you ask?" inquired
Brother Bacon.
1 "You haven't much sense" said Red
! Top. "Of course don't know, or
wouldn't have asked"
"Well did Il ever" grunted Miss
Ham. "You said one moment ago that
you did know and now you say you
don't know. Which do you mean? Do
you know what we were talking about
or don't your"
yes" said Sammy Sausage, chat
is what we would like to know"
well" said Red Top, 81 don't
know, and if | had / wouldn't have
asked you. When / said | knew
thought you all had sense enough to /
know that | was joking, 1t seems
that none of you can take a joke"
Take a joke" repeated Brother
Bacon. "You say that none Of US
can take joke, Well, why should
we? A joke isn't anything to eat.
What would we be doing with a joke
I'd like to know"
yes" said Porky Pig, "we'd all
like to know what we would do with
a joke"
And all the pigs squealed.
WED like to know what we could
do if we took a joke. It's nothing
to eat 50 why should we take it?"
Red Top the rooster .clucked and
crowed and grinned.
"This is the best joke"
What do we care about it being
the best joke? ?" asked Brother Bacon.
We've already told you we didn't
care about a Joke because it was moth
ing to eat. We don't care whether it q
is best one or not. Now if you
we're talking about best dish of food ;
that would be different"
eyes, that would be quite different"
'quealed the other pigs.
81 was wrong" said Red Top grin
ing. "Of course you have no wish !,
o take a joke because it is nothing :
o eat. | meant, of course, that it I.
vas a joke when pretended | knew
What you were talking about just a
Ifter | had asked you that question. !
wouldn't have asked you if | had '
,nown, as ! have said before. And u
wouldn't have bothered to have had II
little joke with you if | had thought o
hat you didn't care about joking. In 0
act you care about nothing but eat
lg." b
All the pigs grinned and twisted a
heir little tails. 81
"We show we're regular pigs" said t
'rother Bacon. al
"Well forget about jokes and iok-
lg then" said Red Top. "Tell me d.
hat you were talking about. | would il
Ike to hear. | don't know really. tc
hats the truth. And that's not a IL
ike" ST
eve were talking about it being is
leh a good thing" explained Miss lie
lam. r
What is such good thing?" ask
Red Top h,
"This idea of New Years reso- II
ltions," said Miss Ham. "You see h,
e heard that every year around this 90
me folks and creatures began max II,
lg good resolutions. And we've is
ade ours. We think they're fine and ",
e hope to live up to them"
That's good" said Red Top. "But o,,
hat are your resolutions ?" he asked ~
Fter a moment. g.
ITO get all we can to eat, each of ~
81 said Miss Ham, land never to
link or worry about anyone but our !,
lives" u
Well l never" said Red Top. "You 80
mt know much about the real mean =
g of good resolutions, but what ~
lould | expect? After all you are ~
lly pigs" en-
"Pigs with good resolutions" re- ~
sated Miss Ham.