Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1922-04-05

"Oh, heli'', said the duchess, who
up to this time had taken no part in
the conversation"
4 y = 4
Wanted. A Paint Remover
Backward, turn backward, o time in
thy flight
Make again beautiful those who now
are sight.
"Jazz playing taught in 20 lessons"
And it can be done, says the Kansas
City Star That's one thing that is
the matter with Jazz.
All Through
mo more garden?"
mo more, I'm tired of buying seeds
for the neighbor's chickens"
Prelude to a Splitter
"My sisters Teller kicked my dog
yesterday" said Willie, "But I'll get
even with him all right"
How'll you get event" said Willie's
friend
''I'm goin' to mix quinine with my
sisters talcum."
You can't beat Chris Columbus as
prophet of the first water. Way
back in 1892 he gazed America-ward
and exclaimed, Il see dry land"
Careless Omission
II suppose your son in the Navy
sends you lots of curios from furrin
countries 2"
Eyes, Charlie sends me plenty of
nice things, but I'm kinder disappoint-
ed he amt sent me one of them rollin'
gates like they say all sailors have"
X X X X
Not for Father
Mamma, is papa going to die and
go to heaven?"
"Of course not, Bobby. Whatever
put such an absurd idea into your
head ?"
Peevish, at Least
Il had to kill my dog this morning"
"Was he mad?"
"Well, he didn't seen any too well
pleased"
No Use
Mistress saw the milkman kiss
you this morning. In the future / will
take the milk myself.
Jane:-It would be no use, mum;
he's promised to kiss nobody but me.
The Patient Tailor
Customer-I've brought that last
pair of trousers to be reseated You
know sit lot.
Tailor-Yes, and perhaps you've
brought that last bill to be receipted,
too. You know I've stood a lot.
n X y n
Edwin-Don't you believe me, dear
est, when tell you that you are the
only girl l ever loved?
Angelina-Oh yes. But that's not
nearly as nice as it would be to know
that I'd stolen you from some other
girl.
New York Must Be Eden
Office Rules Require Hats and Other
Clothing be removed before ringing
time clock. See that this reasonable
requirement is complied with without
fail Sign in Office of New York insur-
ance company.
Will Hays is going to inspect the
Hollywood movies Bet his wife goes
along.
Why is your wife so jealous of your
stenographer
She used to be my stenographer.
She Knew Hog
A woman was waiting to buy tick
ct for a concert when a man bumped
into her. She glared at him, feeling
it was done Intentionally.
Well, he growled, "you needn't eat
me up"
81 am Jewess."
The Autosit's Winter Prayer
Now go out into the cold,
| pray the Lord my tires hold;
If one should bust before I'm back,
I pray a spares upon the rack.
4 4 4
If Mr.. Bryan should get the Demo
cratic nomination for Senator from
Florida it would be just his luck to
have Florida go Republican.
Edison says he is going to work I'M
til he is 80. But then Edison is light
worker.
Current report has it that Thomas
A. Edison passed the 75-watt mark a
few days ago.
Do you like mystery fiction? Wait
until you get your income tax blanks
Fate
By Particeps
Shocks gazed somberly at the dying
embers in the fireplace. One hand
supported his chin, the other lying
lax on his knee, held between listless
fingers a note which read:
"Dear John:
The bird in the cage has flown and
the prisoner has battered down the
barrier to her freedom. have eloped
with the butler. Now / am free to
soar into the blue ether, dancing gayiy
along behind the fitting pipes which
beckon to greener fields. -"
1t was signed by his wife.
/ He pondered sadly.
"She always would mix her meta
phors." he said.
Pome
I'd like to make the styles for men
I'd change the haircut to begin
It looks just like dust mop now
And baldheaded cut looks pretty thiu
/
Al Snyder Sez
Ever notice how some of these hot
headed guys cool of when they get
I home.
Hardly any motorist believes b
signs such as this: "Speed limit 10
miles an hour"
I n =