Pueblo chieftain., 1922-01-01
GEESE

oAASI
There are two kinds of geese.
wild and tame ones. Tame geese
amt the same, either-some are
females and the rest are all gand-
ers The only difference in wlld
geese is dead ones and live ones
and the dead ones are all that's
any good to humanity. From them
you get goose Oil feather beds
when they're in style, and eat the
rest.
The only gray matter about a
tame goose Is feathers, provided
it's a gray goose. and white tame
geese amt got any gray matter
and never will have any unless
they got wild before Christmas,
which amt likely. When guy
tries to make a perpetual motion
machine or advocates a city man
ager plan and some other guy who
Amt got nerve enough TO try II
calls him a goose" he means a
tame goose all the time, because
the feeblest- minded wild goose has
got more brains than me and Dixon
all put together and maybe yours,
too, for all I know.
Most wild geese go south for the
winter to keep warm. except
few that stick around north Of
Ordway TO keep the ice warm and
help the farmers harvest the corn
crops. the former being the fool
ishest thing they do, but the cold
ice don't effect their brains so
much nuhow, because they are in
their heads and they keep their
heads as far in the air as possible.
Wild geese are about the best
eating ! know Of, but It's foolish
for any guy to get a wild goose
appetite unless he i smarter than
they are-which he amt. Wild
geese. when sitting on the ice or on
the ground, have sentinels same as
armies and poker games, but more
efficient ones. II you try to ap-
proach a flock with a 30-3n them
scntlneIs order a retreat before you
know it's geese or corn shocks
you're sneaking up on. II you have
n shotgun that'll carry 100 yards,
they'll let YOU come to 1ot yards
Of the nearest goose, etc; so you've
got as much chance with salt as
with n big bertha, anyway.
l amt saying nobody amt ever
tasted a wild goose or Dragging
about what I picked out Of my
teeth yesterday. but, on the other
hand, they ain't as easy to shoot
as craps. Some guys figure out
which particular cornfield they're
going 10 breakfast in and so and
build a blind about as blind as tho
courthouse at night when the lights
are all lit and when them geese
circle over that corufield and see
that mountain of Cornfodder and
grass which spranE up IN the night
and figure there might be a nimrod
Hereunder instead Of an oil can
what thinks there's a fool goose
hstched every minute. they don't
Light in that cornfiold atall.
amt no Tarzen Of the Apes, but.
on the other hand. 1 amt no wild
goose insulter to such an extent
as that.
The proper kind OF blind to
build. IS to crawl under one that's
already there and II there ain't one
there build one and take chance
on the next corn field where there
ia one. Nine times out of ten they
don't come to that field. but IL
they do come, pick out the biggest
one. because he is always the
toughest. and aim at him until your
trigger finger gets SO stiff you
can't pull tho trigger. or maybe
you'll sec two or three close to-
gother and shoot between them,
which is a pot shot and amt the
way TO go goose hunting anyway.
But there is a way to shoot 'em so
full OF heavy buckshot they can't
flv away with 10, which I can't tell
you here because YOU can't do IL II
you shoot when they're facing you
because the bullets glance off their
feathers.
There Is guy N town who said
he shot six one day and it's funny
he said II, because he amt never
lied to me before and any old
goose story amt like fish stories
which can he told by preachers. as
well as men, without causing any
hard feelings.