The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1922-05-12
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Y0rTHFUI SOLMOQUY.


My dad he never was boy. guess;
Or. anyhow, little boy like me.
He saws I'm always gettin' in a mess
An tearin' clothes n everthing-but gee!
How can little kid have any fun
Unless they let i'm play in dirt an climb
On fences an in trees an let i'm run
An roll around an have bully time?
Dad says to me at he gets awful sick
o. washn' off my dirty hands an face,
An SAYS he thinks he ought to take stick
An tan me proper-Im rank disgrace;
An sometimes when dig holes in the yard
Or take a run across his radish bed
He ketches me an spanks me pretty hard
An saws Now you remember what l said. "
He's all the time a-tellin' me, You must
Not do that son; l do not want you to.
But gee, the things that he don't like is just
The things l want the very most to do!
He says | mustn't do things that annoy
1 ought to be more quiet at my play. -.
l KNOW he NEVER was little boy
Hisself, or else he wouldn't talk that way!
MAX GLASS, arrested in Chicago as one
OF the cop killers, is a member OF the glaciers
union. When Fitzmorris gives him the third
degree he'll be likely to crack under the strain.
~How True!" Exclaims N. f: ~But What's
the Connection?
from Mas Information Bureaul
O. How may grass stains be removed
from a childs rompers? +. +.
A. To remove grass stains, dip the
portion of the article affected into mo-
lasses and wash out in clear water. AL
cohol applied to the sports also eradl-
cate them.
A SEMI-CONSCIOUS movie press agent re-
fers TO Charles Ray in "R. S. V. P" as "the I'M
sophisticated country pumpkin. Granting the
possibility of error in tipping. why the adjec-
tiveS? Was pumpkin ever anything else but
unsophisticated?
. NJ III EATGE
[From pillar to Post".l
OF your state, a diagnosis
Shows arterio-sclerosis,
With a chronic lack OF self-control and poise;
Hardened arteries of travel,
You seek daily to unravel
By futile piling-up of noise on noise
The manhandlng of your traffic
Battles even pen most graphic
To describe the endless tangle it achieves;
With its Northumberland turning,
1t presents a muddled churning
That the copper's shrieking whistle ne'er
relieves.
Overhead your Elevated.
On its trestles ANTICIPATED,
Ever roars and rumbles, groaning, meath its
While your little L c. buffers
Bump their toy cars ancient buffers,
Then jerk, smarting, ringing whistling, down
the road.
Ev'ry street-car intersection
Has make-and-break connection
To produce constant pounding of car wheels;
Each rail-end they gayly batter
AS their rims grow fat, and fatter,
While the brake-shoes swell the chorus with
their squeals.
Then the motorist, with cut-out
Does his brazen best to shut out
Evry other loud contender in the din;
And the biggest rasping Klaxon
Goes alike on Pierce and Saxon
Thus providing all an equal chance to win
Motor-trucks, from Mack to fivver
Keep ones tangled nerves a-quiver,
With weird, siren-like devices brought from
hell;
Their explosions unremitting
Give eardrums the final splitting
Till one hopes to be assigned a padded cell
BEEFER
CAREY ORR seems to have drawn inspira-