davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Imperial Valley press., 1922-04-28

auto" said the bunny. "I'll bring my
car close down to the shore, let out
some of the air, which will blow on the
sail of your boat and then you'll get
across the pond and can run to
school,
ooh, that will be fine" chattered
Johnnie.
Uncle Wiggily unscrewed the cap on
the air valve of his auto tire. Out
rushed the compressed air, with a hiss
like that of big snake. The sail OF
trembled, and then swelled out as the
tire breeze blew it, and soon Johnnie
and Billie were safe in the hollow
stump school Of the lady mouse teacher
"Well, IN glad l could do the squir
rel boys one good little turn" thought
the bunny, as he pumped more air in
his tire so it wouldn't be flat. Then
he rode on a little farther, wonder
ing what his next adventure would be
when, all of sudden, a little angle
worm boy crawled across the road il
front of the rabbit gentleman, raised
himself up in the air as far as he could
and cried: "Stop!''
Are you traffic policeman9'
| asked Uncle Wiggily, joking like.
90 No, - answered the angle worm boy
'but my friend the Lady Cow is stuck
over in the boggy swamp and she can I
get out!"
|. :" How do you mean stuck" askct
Uncle Wiggily.
''Stuck in the mud answered tn,
angle worm boy. "She waded out too
far in the swamp to get drink ant
her legs sank away down in the mud
and now she can t pull them out. She il
mooing for help. If you listen you cal
hear her.
Uncle Wiggily listened and, surely
enough, he heard
Moo! Moo! Moo-oo.'
must help the Lady Cow sait
| the bunny. "Where is she."
f you IL take. me up in your autt
we II get there more quickly" said tn,
angle worm. Though it ism t far from
Imperial Valley press., 1922-04-28
2 g g g g G g 9 g g g g g G
3 TODAY'S BORROWED &
2 EDITORIAL 6
TARIFF AND CALIFORNIA
g e g e g g G. g g 6 G. 6 Z

Long Beach Press: California pro-
duets figure prominently in the Ford
nev tariff bill--the administration
measure just reported to the senate
The bill as reported may be changed
as to details-doubtless it will be. But
that a generous degree of protection
will be accorded California products
seems assured, as members of the Cal
ifornia delegation in Congress have
worked and will continue to work to
this end.
Among the products of California
which are recommended for tariff pro
lection are: Raisins, lemons (unchang-
ed at cents the pound) oranges Gun
changed at l cent the pound); grape
fruit, preserved figs, fresh or dried
dates, ripe or stuffed olives, almonds,
walnuts, quicksilver, sugar beets Crude
oil is placed on the tree list. Finished
moving picture films (of direct inter
est to California, where so many of
| them are produced) would come i'll at
| 3 cents a foot; raw films at one half
cent a foot.
Another growing California industry
cotton -growing-comes in for pro
lection. Long staple cotton-much OF
which is produced in California and
| Arizona--is given cents pound pro
lection. Rice, produced in Central
and Northern California, is given les
sened protection, but this may be in
creased.
The tariff debate will last perhaps
sixty to ninety days. Inasmuch as
the measure has the backing of the ad
| ministration and inasmuch as Repub
licans safely control both houses OF
Congress, the bill probably will &C
| through substantially as reported.
Imperial Valley press., 1922-04-28

If you do not want to make an idea
take hold upon u person it is not a
good thing to suggest it to that person
constantly. And yet u great many
women do just that. Here is the sort
of thing | mean.
In one of Margaret Deland' beauti-
full stories one of her characters says,
81 remember when my first baby was
coming l was very forlorn and /
couldn It do anything or go anywhere,
and Henry stayed at home with me like
a saint. / told father that 1 had told
Henry it was hard on him to sit at
home with q sickly wife And father
said, IF you tell him SO often enough
he II agree with you
''I Can See You Are
There is u word which the psycholo-
gists use a great deal lately-the word
suggestibility. 1t means a person s ca
pacity for being influenced by sugges-
tions Many people have this capacity
in a very high degree. They are the
people who cannot read a patent medi-
cine ad without fancying that they
have all the symptoms. The patent
medicine maker knows about this tend
eHcY anu ucllUcIdtcly -jlldhcS use VI II.
He means to plant IDEAS in their minds.
But the woman who says, 81 don't be-
lieve you love me as much as you used
to; | suppose | am getting old and
unattractive,' or, 81 wish l were
clever like Mrs. S. and understood all
about politics and economies, but you
knew / was a silly little thing when
you married me, or '.you have good
enough time when there s anyone else
around but when you re with me you
seem bored. l can see you re getting
tired of me- certainly doesn t want to
plant the ideas she suggests.
Wants Him To Say It
What she really wants is denial
| from her John or Henry. She wants
| him to say that he loves her more
| than ever, or that he likes her much
| better than il she took an intelligent
interest in affairs of the day, or that
he never likes to see new face and
would rather live live on a desert island
with her than have all the rest of the
women in the world at his command.
Imperial Valley press., 1922-04-28
Bedtime Stories
UNCLE WIGGILY AND THE COW
LADY
Copyright, 1922, by Mcclure News
paper Syndicate)
D., HOW ARD r GARIS

=
paper Svndicate)
By, HOWARD r. GARIS
Uncle Wiggily hoped into the
kitchen of the hollow stump bungalow
one morning, smelling very strongly of
gasoline.
cit must be that you are going out
in your auto today said Nurse Jane
Fuzzy Wuzzy, who was making an
apple pie out of carrots.
eyes, 1 am going for "a bit of ride
and to look for an adventure, -
answered Mr. Longears. Wouldn t
you like to come with me, Miss Fuzzy
Wuzzy9'
"Oh, thank you just the same, but
[ haven t time, was the muskrat
ladv's answer ''After | bake this
cherry pie out of turnips l must wash
the beds and make up the dishes. Oh,
don mean that exactly, but when
I've baked this chocolate pudding out
of the leftover ice cream sauce I'M
going to wash the face of the clock
81 guess d better hurry along be-
fore you become any more fused up! y
laughted Uncle Wiggily, as he hoped
out to where his automobile was taking
drink of water which Bully No. Tail,
the Frog Boy, was pouring into it from
milk bottle.
Then Nurse Jane finished mending
the holes in the rice pudding, and put
it to sleep with the gold fish, while
Uncle Wiggily went adventuring.
The bunny gentleman was riding
slowly along so he wouldn't run over
any slow-moving mud turtle ladies or
gentlemen, when, all of sudden, Uncle
Wiggily drew near the shore of lit
Imperial Valley press., 1922-04-28
HELPING A FAIR

The supervisors of Riverside county have Just made
appropriation of $4,000 bonus for the Southern Cali
forna fair held there and which has become scarcely second
to the state fair in its attendance and the number and
quality of its exhibits This appropriation the largest
yet made by the board the increase being recognition of
the increasing Importance of the fair.
There is suggestion in this that is applicable to
Imperial county. When the fair here is established both
the state and the county permitted under the law to
give financial support the amounts depending upon the
character of the fair In time may expect that
through all the fair will command liberal sup
port The prime and preliminary requisite is for the
people of the county, Individuals to manifest interest
by adequately equpping grounds making full and credit
able exhibits and furnishing attendance that will swell
the gate receipts The remotenesS of the valley from
populous centers will impose upon its people the duty of
showing unanimous interest.
Imperial Valley press., 1922-04-28
!, Side 8; s; Talks :.
| 6W RadtGn Cameron
HUSBANDS AND ELASTIC BANDS

Maybe he makes those dcnials 100
times; then maybe some terrible day
comes when he fails to make them aud
the poor, foolish woman gets Il cruel
comeuppance.
But even when he does deny the idea
most strenuously, it probably has some
effect upon his subconscious mind.
You may stretch out an elastic band
100 times and it may snap back every
time, but each time is taking from it's
elasticity and bringing nearer the time
when it will lose its comeback or
perhaps break.
Ready To Pity Ourselves
1t is a splendid thing to know one S
weaknesses and faults, to admit them
when one is accused OF them and make
known one IS determination to do bet
ter. But it is just as well not to force
them on one S husband s attention or
to suggest to him reasons for being
dissatisfied.
Several times l have caught myself
indulging in self-pity because someone
had suggested to me that L deserved
sympathy for something that, up to
that time, L had never realized was
burden. Surely you have had that
same experience. That s what sugges-
tibility can do. Look out for it!
The problem of the Press publishers
is to furnish the sort Of reading that the
people want. The Press should be COM
plete within itself and meet the needs
of ALL the people in, it's field. The
woman's page and Ruth Cameron
are provided for the women readers and
the ''Uncle Wiggily'' stories are for
the children. Uncle Wiggily and Ruth
Cameron are on trial. do they meet a
need and are they the thing wanted?
The Press will take ''straw vote'
until May l. If you wish either Of
these features continued, kindly fill out
the following and either paste it on a
post card or inclose it in an envelope
and mail to the Press.
find Ruth Cameron of interest and
wish the feature continued.
Ndiuo
Address ...--.....---....-......-.....-
Imperial Valley press., 1922-04-28
One Minute Essay

The word bucketing' is derived
trom " bucket shops. = Bucket shops are
run by irresponsible brokers, not mem
hers OF any stock exchange, and do a
marginal business upon 81 a share and
upward. AS matter OF fact, in the
case Of a bucket shop, the stock itself
is usually not purchased or sold for the
customer. When an order has gone
through the machinery of bucket shop
and been accepted by the same, theoret-
icallly executed, it has been
Ibucketed. No actual purchase or
sale takes place, the broker must pay
losses if the customer has guessed the
right way, and vice vera if the opposite.
"Bueketed" is used to denote the
handling by legitimate stock exchange
broker Of his customer accounts on
bucket shop methods.
Imperial Valley press., 1922-04-28

here, it takes me good while to crawl
the distance as L am bit slow.
So Uncle Wiggily kindly lifted the
angle worm up on the front seat beside
him and together they rode to where
the Lady Cow was caught in the
swamp bog
"Mool Moo, Help!' she cried.
81 II help you,' SAID Uncle Wiggily
~ IL tie something to you and fasten
the other end to my auto, whicn L will
keep on the firm, hard ground, and
soon II pull you out. The bunny bor-
| rowed a clothesline from Aunt Lettie,
the goat lady, who lived nearby, and
by fastening the line around the cow
| lady's horns and the other end to the
back of the car he soon pulled Mrs.
Moo Moo out of the bog, and she was
very thankful and gave Uncle Wiggily
| a glass of milk.
''Well, I've had enough adventures
today, so II go home, " said the bunny,
and he did, and that s all there is to
! this story. But if the baked potato
doesn t go TO sleep in the spoon holder
when the lump OF butter is trying TO
| tag it, l. IL tell you next about Uncle
| W1ggily' rainbow.
| The problem of the Press publishers
is to furnish the sort of reading that the
people want. The Press should be COM
plete within itself and meet the needs
of ALL the people in it's field. The
woman's page and Ruth Cameron
are provided for the women readers and
the ''Uncle Wiggily' stories are for
the children. Uncle Wiggily and Ruth
Cameron are on trial. Do they meet a
need and are they the thing wanted?
The Press will take a ''straw vote'
until May /. If you wish either Of
these features continued, kindly fill out
the following and either paste it on a
post card or inclose it in an envelope
and mail to the Press.
] I find Uncle Wiggily of interest and
wish the feature continued.
ADDRESS
Imperial Valley press., 1922-04-28
Today's Best Kid. Story

Jack and Mary had just been to the
grownup s church for the first time. A
day or two afterward they were found
in the nursery whispering audibly to
each other.
" What are YOU children doing?''
their nurse asked
" We're playing church," replied
Jack.
But you shouidn t whisper in
church - admonshed nurse.
so, we re the choir said Mary.
Imperial Valley press., 1922-04-28
About Some Woman or Other

EfFlclency experts Of the treasury
report that the 10000 girls on the gov
ernment payroll in the United States
lose $6,000,000 worth of time each year
rouging their cheeks and lips. The
+" dolling up results in loss of l5,000,-
600 hours of actual working time. The
girls receive 200 year and upward
Imperial Valley press., 1922-04-28
PARsoN TAKES NO CHANCES

CHICAGO, April 2s. Let your
conscience be your guide was what
the Rev John +. Williamson, Chicago
law enforcer, told girls desiring to dis
play scanty bathing suits on Chicago
beaches this season.
Imperial Valley press., 1922-04-28

The trouble with taking things easy
is they usually belong to somebody else
Imperial Valley press., 1922-04-28

True love SAYS, "Love me-or | suf
fer!" infatuation says, "Love me-ol
[ II make you suffer.
Imperial Valley press., 1922-04-28
The Curiosity Shop

During the last 300 years there have
been more changes in hat fashions than
in any other part of men s attire.
Imperial Valley press., 1922-04-28
The Preacher Declares
letter be honest than clever.
The Eachelnr Maid Saw

The small boy sees the dog; his
mother sees the fieas.
Imperial Valley press., 1922-04-28

The public is not likely to blame Former President
Wilson if he repudates Former Secretary Tumulty The
latter gentleman presumng great deal his associa
tion with the president and is appropriang
share of credit for the performances of the Wilson admin
istration. The fly the wagon wheel claiming too much
for the dust that stirred up.
Imperial Valley press., 1922-04-28

must be noted that the coal strike is not attracting
as much attention folks supposed would before
the walked out. The truth is that there is large
stock coal hand and the soppage of work has not
vet begun to pinch How long this situation will
tinue is the nub of the matter.
Imperial Valley press., 1922-04-28

Perhaps the California man who
bought a battleship will turn it into a
bOttleShiD.
Imperial Valley press., 1922-04-28
MAKING A COUNTRY

The formal opening the other day of Unit of the
federal reclamation project at Yuma marks another step
in the progress of the great Southwest Gradually the
fertile lands of this broad section of the United States
being developed by the application of water and all
sttutes thrilling chapter in the story of the growth of
nation The sturdy founders of the republic literally
hewed and shot their through the barriers that
nerpoed Now the country being subdued through the
instrumentaly of the dredge and the pow, the
and the shovel Lfegvng currents being led out into
the deserts and these being racuousy made to bios
the The Yuma incident was but of many
of the kind that have occurred and will yet take place
there Felcitaons may well be offered for the people
this neghborng section will understand the significance
of it all.
Imperial Valley press., 1922-04-28
Old Timer Cogitates

T Observation-Disclosures 1IHTo1IVT dHU UCC
orator.
Old Timer Cogitates
I kin remember when a bakers doz-
Ell was always l3. e
A profiteer is without honor i'll his
home town.
We hear lot about petticoat rule; +;
but they seem to be an exception in
stead of a rule.
The most narrowing thing about a
cold is trying to figure out how yon
got it
Imperial Valley press., 1922-04-28

A bachelor is man who gets only
100 miles out Of pair of socks.
Imperial Valley press., 1922-04-28

1t doubtless suggests itself to Will Hays that the
Arbuce jury little far when handed down its
verdict of guilty with certificate of character attached
Most juries would have regarded the verdict alone
enough without any additional testimonial.
Imperial Valley press., 1922-04-28
Im-PRESS-ions
Foolish Dictionary

hysician-Interior finisher and dee
orator.
Imperial Valley press., 1922-04-28

1t is quite clear that President Harding did valuable
public service when he swooped down the bureau of
printing and engraving at Washington and discharged the
chief with few hundred superfluous employees. The
president has frshand knowledge of printing and
engraving from lifetime of business connection with it
and he "smell rat in that department about
quickly and surely in any department of the
ment The wholesale dismissal of unnecessary employees
of those suspected of irregularities is good warning
to grafters and loafers.
Imperial Valley press., 1922-04-28

With Governor Small of Illinois and Governor Robert
son of Oklahoma both trial charged with plain grating
begins look if the legal net made for catching
big fish as well little ones-cuttlefish as well as
sardines
Imperial Valley press., 1922-04-28

The whiskers contest naugurated among the Forty
miners of California is unique one, bat it will be observed
that the does not have the endorsement of the
BARRIERS association.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-01-01
WHO REMEMBERS

When Bsbcock lake w. tho
place for Ice skatingf
When Allison Naflor won N
prizes In winter horse races held On
Pennsylvania avenuef
When the Army Barracks ~
Twenty-second and I strocts was
used rs . school housef
When the one-horse cars On -Four.
tenth street had q turntable at Fiji.
westS
when tho sandIotters played ban
ut the northeast corner Of Seven
teenth and b streets northwest
When Stewards Castle, located q
the corner Of Massachusetts avenue
and Connecticut avenue burnodf
When . ono-horse car was oper.
atod from Seventeenth and II
streets to Seventeenth md NV
York avenue northwostf
When the baseball pexk VS. %
Gated at the corner Of New yerSU
avenue and b street northwootf
When tho Scheutson Park We On
Seventh street (now 0eorSis
When the washingten IAvht n
fantry, National Rifles, FenclSle4
and 6orcorsn Cadets wsrs the lad.
ing militia companicsf
When the homo Of the Oldest IN
habitants, Nineteenth and III stroetg
house?
when the car companies plsssd
straw on tho floors Of tho cars dur.
ing the winterf T.
when transfers wore Issued q
the southwest corner Of Seventh
and Pennsylvania avenue northwest
from box Office" and not BY TIE
conductorsf
when FREQ crab feasts were given
By Schnelder's, on Eighth street
When the hordlc cab stand was
located at the southeast corner Of
Eighteenth and NJ streets north
westf
when Sousa led the Marine Band
at public concerts inside the White
House grounds every Saturday
evening during the summer
when . public school house was
on tho rear OF the lot now occupied
By the Y. M. O. A. buildingf
When there was an IRON fence
around Lafayette Parkf
When the Panorama building was
located nj Fifteenth street and Ohio
avenuef w. NJ. JOHNSON.
Here's the address on a letter
that came TO the q. o. c.. for
which u was intended:
TO che Owner 81 tl,e Bc~s
Llexle Column IN the Worid.
Desssgisg n Ths TtneA
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-01-01
ADVICE TO HUSBANDS.

Don't act like Q silly old ass when
you're filled up with hootch
And unc0rk for the Mrs. q sermon
on powder and rouge.
Remember you never objected to
those colOred lips
In the days before scrapping the
counting and honeymoon ships.
Don't act like o grouchy old fool
II her tasks manifold,
Or your coming homo late IL the
cause Of your supper being
cold.
Remember those days when you
said she was Queen OF tho
Queens,
And you promised quite moelly to
live on her love and sardines.
And above an, remember, when
ever you've something to say,
To make use Of the florists ad-
vice, tho confectiOner's way,
Tho modiste's and milliner's signs,
and the jewelers. code,
For that II the conjugal language
today . In mode.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-01-01
ouroFT0wN CONTRIBUTORS.

The old column IL inter
esting many out-of.town folks
who read Il In The Sunday
Times, and we arc receiving
bright contributions from peo-
pie who have found that
Heard and Seen n indeed
'evcrybody's column" writ
ten by and for everybody.
To these out-of-town adj
mirers we would say: II you
hlse the column, a. do hosts
Of Washington people, you
miss six days Of fun and
good reading whom you do
not take The Times seven
days . week instead Of on
Sunday only.
Heard and Sccn appears
every day. and some Of the
rood things sent IN By out
ef-town coA-ributors appear
On other days than Sunday.
To get tn Gun kenefis %
the 0rest Oh Column zen
shesla rcsA q every aay n
- ws<k.
Ia - nm oaa2
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-01-01
OLD JOHN AND
THE APPLE yA0I

ng snrs me ssew,
Asd Eekms fsr the essen S.ss -
- he could -,
La staxKersd with Q AsuAss L.
uxsms "a .r,a> "a.
n. m. .~--
m -
No Wsea % ne1ns . rusas fenss -
Al 800 - =. - IN ,,.1s
q IN ths tsv, 5
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-01-01
IF WE ONLY KNEW.

II we could know the future,
And coming events forcsee.
The errors that we make,
Would turn to ecstasy.
III I had known that tack
Was beneath the place I sat,
I'D never have squatted there,
You can bet your hat on that
IL had known that mudIark nag.
Was gated like q snail,
I'd never bowed my weekly wage
Upon his nose or tan.
IL I had known the Vol~t>nA Isw.
Would make the semssr.~ .iici,,
I'd never swsppcd ny lager fsr
a siop that makes ne skcs,
III had Known my mefherlnrlsw.
Was . fixture Z csu16z't sffera.
IL never a<l<ea her esng,eer
10 sh.rs ~ - 81 ksara
mmmfuI0
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-01-01

Instead OF bailing out q drunk
who has been arrested, the better
thing might be to bale him out.
FRED VETTER.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-01-01
FolIies of the Passing ShOlD---By HanlOn
THE FUN MAKERS PLACE.

Sometimes we mediate over .
communication from Crouch who
objects to too much fun-malxing In
The Column, describing IL rs silly"
or even worse. And then we draw
q mental picture Of the thousands
Of old and middleaged, and the
millions Of young, who find life Just
what we make IL, and that II we
want IL to be happy We must help
make It happy.
The crouch never made anybody
happy In his life. He slows In his
own vinegar. All around him arc
people who deliberately mako life
worth the living by getting all tho
fun they can out Of Il while get
tins good" They 20 about IL Just
as II II were q gOod.sularfed job. The
crouch, on the other hand, hugs
his vinegar Just as II he were In
the vinegar business. He could Just
as easily 60 into the sunshine bust.
ness II he wanted to.
In other words, grouchiness b
self-manufactured. "Oh, yes" the
crouch says, you don't know the
troubles have and how j am
treated" Yes we do. We are all
deluged with troubles, but we don't
have to carry them around with M
or sleep with them at night. Trouble
Is not nursing baby that you've
got to feed every few hours. On
the contrary 10 II something 70
starve to death on poison with half
. dozen doses daily Of laughter and
fun. Can't you lauRhf Have you
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-01-01
FOOLISH NAMES.

FOOLISH NAMES.
T. NJ. A. Flsh. y. Q. Mssey.
WIN y. ElsuEsA !. n. Lovely.
o. 8. 4 D.. Ss.sis. A...
b. So Isna vsrd.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-01-01

Here's the address on a letter
that came to the q. o. G.. for
which u was intended:
TO the Owner % tlse Bcss
Lifxle Column IN the Worid.
nesssgisg n Ths TlHeA
The Morning Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Okla.) 1919-1927, 1922-10-07
Personal Property
on MAcnlNnRY.surrtms-

GAS ENGINE for sale. IS " uw..
gas engine, good condition, pu.e rs'f
Address A. u. Maitland, g0I Ir,',,.
Ave. Joplin, Mo. NA
The Morning Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Okla.) 1919-1927, 1922-10-07
statesmen

Wanted, two high-class auto
mobile salesmen to handle
well-known and fast-selling
automobile in Tulsa. This
proposition will stand the
closest investigation. No has
been need apply, Box 277-H.
care World.