davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1922-01-27

Boy Scouts Of Near East Relief
Orphanags at Alexandropol, Ar
msnia, where $4,000 youngsters
arc cared for.
u The baseball diamond, the foot
ball gridiron, boy and girl scout
organizations, and other institu-
lions of the American youth will
play their part in the final peace
in the Levant, according to Charles
V. Vickrey, general secretary Of the
Near East Relief, who is now on
a tour of inspection of the work
being done by that organization in
Transcaucasla.
Behind the walls of American
schools and orphanages, one finds
the only tranquil spots in this whole
troubled territory" he writes. Here,
despite disorder, pestilenoe, and
starvation, outside the gates, ambi-
tious young Armenian boys and
girls are making the best OF the
opportunities offered them by their
American teachers. If only our
work can be continued until these
children reach maturity new gen.
Grafton will arise to face the prob
lens of the Near East with the
benefit of their American training
to help them At present. however,
we are confronted by the possibility
of having to abandon them because
of lack of funds. oThis will mean
not only the wasting of what has
already bsen accomplished but wifi
also result in the death of the ma
jority of these wards of American
charity. Several hundred of them
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1922-01-27
Soda Mixer Recalls Dentist.

"I'll have a chocolate matted milk,
please" said the stenographer to the
soda clerk please mix 1t with
spoon instead of the electric mixer"
Mix it with spoon!" exclaimed
the clerk, somewhat surprised. THAT
will take me three times as long. and
I'm busy!"
But it must be mixed with
spoon!' the little thing at the counter
exclaimed
"Why?" asked the clerk.
"Well," she replied, Il can't stand
the noise that that soda mixer makes.
1t sounds just like that thing that the
dentist puts in my mouth when he
wants to make filling. 1t makes me
creep all over when 1 hear it"-Eew
York Sun.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1922-01-27
REALLY NO 7hyBLEM AT ALL
Bones Hardly Worthy of HIs
Wonderful Brain.

1t was the office of the famous de-
tective. Mr. Sheerluck Bones.
The visitor, man Of rather small
height but liberal width, sat down.
Married" snapped Bones.
How do you know I'm married."
gasped the visitor
by the samples of SAX to be
matched in your vest-pocket, and your
hunted, haunted, expression" replied
Sheerluck.
The man gasped.
1T is marvellous how you know
things!" exclaimed the man. But 1t
Is about my wife | came to see you.
She acts so queerly lately. She talks
to herself all the time, stands before
her mirror and talks to herself It's
awful And she does the most ter
Tible things. She'll put cake Of
soap in the soup and scrub the pans
with the soup bone, talking to her
self all the time"
And the poor man wiped his brow
uervously.
How long has this state Of affairs
been going on?" asked the great de-
tec;ive.
"Oh, for about a week now. And.
Mr.. Bones, l can't stand it any longer.
It's driving me crazy. I'm afraid she'll
sell the baby for bundle Of rags, or
something"
HIM, Err, isn't it just possible
that your wife is merely practicing
and rehearsing her speech for the
next meeting Of the National Women's
Rulers of Home league? l see its
meeting takes place tomorrow night
by Jove! You're right. She Is
third assistant chairman Of that
league. l forgot it,"
With a relieved cry, the little man
rushed home, and even forgot, in his
glad relief. to pay the great detee
tjve's fee.--London Answers.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1922-01-27

The historic old church Of ST. N
choel's. in Charleston. s. C.-to be u
member of which is the open SESAME
to Charleston society-h2d ut one time
very eccentric pastor, whose con
gregation never knew Just what he
would do next One not July after
noon he entered his pulpit. with the
sounding board above. sal down and
wiped the rcrSpiration from his face.
remarkin@ in calm. un~uftied tone
"D-d hot day"
OF course the congregation was
,hunderstruck. With all his peculiar
Hes, they had not dreamed Of any
hing like this. 50 sttiI vac he audi
""e that the drop Of c psn rali,7 hay
N heard After & Eesig fine, whe'
he perspiration hnd been csrefull}
Hipcd from cheek anH brow, he con
3Uded
"That's what I hears an irreveren
"ouns man say as cGTe in."-4ar
GERS Magazine.
The Spring Straw Hat.
All winter ioag man wears a has
hat is easy aud comfortable-a
friendly, slouchy, Well-Worn sort Of
hing that he can pull down over his
ears when the wind blows or throw in
10 the air at G football game. It's
'ust the sort of clothing q man ought
o wear, not tyrannical but compan-
enable. And then along-comes spring.
In the spring, say the poets, the spirit
If man breaks its bonds. A fellow
feels restless and indomitabe, fit for
anything and free as the wind He
brooks no restraint, not he. He looks
upon his good old cap or hat and de-
cides he ought to buy another. And
ne does. He goes and gets himself
I straw hat-a stiff. uncomfortable
unreliable sort Of thing that is faith,
less to every passing breeze. A man
can't roll It up and put It in his
pocket, he can't throw it into the air,
he can't pull It down over his ears.
he can't do anything with it except
wes 1t daintily and carefully, until
be comes to smash 1t in the
autiimn and go back to the old cloth
d that's the best proof Of the
Of spring not love, rot
wefst III ~ y straw
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1922-01-27

Some time after the school system
was adopted by the navy a Filipino
was directed to write an essay on
George Washington. This, however.
was the first contribution. and was as
follows:
George Washington was sore be-
cause American persons was not free.
he sale for England on my ship and
sat to king: I express declaryations
Of Independence for American per.
sons King. he say 'Nothln' dom and
Mr.. Washington tell Admiral Dewie
20 shoot big guns at him. Bimeby
King. he say he will not run over
American persons again. Let George
do it, he say, and today American
I ..rsoEs she Is free"-Gceat Lakes
Bulletin.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1922-01-27
The 0uiislsss Yoke,.

James R. Howard. president Of the
Farm Bureau federation, said In
Washington the other day:
The farmer Is going to market his
own product hereafter. The farmer
Of the past who let the rniddleman
collar all the profit Of the farm. was
more guileless than Cornelius Husk.
Corn Husk. you know, came to
New York to see his uncle. he got
Oh at the Pennsylvania station and
asked = policeman how long a walk
1t was to his uncle's place.
YOU'D better take the elevated
the policeman said, handing back the
card with the address on it. It's 4
seven-mile walk to where vou,re
going
well by ~inus. IN w,rk her.
anyhow said Corn Husk .ssven
mues thought Say, Amt thers no
shoet cut across the AeIdsr
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1922-01-27
Quarter to Spank Pirate.

At the junction of two roads In New
Jersey Sunday motorists have halted
In either indignation or amusement
when small girl, wearing police
mans hat, hailed them and demanded
fine of 10 cents for speeding.
1.-THE men generally laugh and sur
render" said the owner Of a country
store nearby. "And most of the time
the women do, too. But the other
day three girls came by. They'd been
held up three times before at the
same place. This time they reached
out pulled the youngster in the car
and spanked her. Then they had to
make it up with a quarter"
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1922-01-27
Spies Everywiseeo.

How Is the patient progressingr
Doing a. well a. could be expected
"Able to receive visitors yetr
Come around in about three day2~
Thanks, certainly Will"
Overhearing this conversation yo0
would naturally suppose that somebody
was recovering from q serious com-
PLANT. A. \ matter of faca. eitisene
WAo eneage u hsmA br6wing. cn4cE ~
- Eegl 49, 1JlscusG1an & go
y /. sla'! al = - = : -
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1922-01-27

"Well, Eph, said his ex-employer.
meeting the Old darky On the street.
show is the rheumatism these days?'
'Porely, sab. porely," was the de
jected reply. Believe me, Marse Blk
by, Use jest movin' picture OBJ PAIN
Boston Transcript.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1922-01-27
(ReL rinted from Atlantic aMonthlyl

abuse, the subject should not be ap
preached with any general imputat'
10 existing distributive agencies Of
liberately intentional oppression,
rather with the conception that 80
marketing of farm products mas not
been modernized.
An ancient evil, and a persistent
one, is the undergrading Of farm prod
ucts, with the result that what the
farmers sell as of one quality is re-
sold as of Il higher That this sort of
chicanery should persist on any i'm
portant scale in these days of bust
ness integrity would seem almost in
credible, but there is much evidence
that it does so persist. Even as
write, the newspapers announce the
suspension Of several firms from the
New York Produce Exchange for ex-
porting t. Germany rs No. wheat a
whole shipload Of grossly inferior wheat
mixed with oats, chat and the like
Another evil is that of inaccurate
weighing of farm products, which, 1t
is charged, is sometimes d matter OF
dishonest intention and sometimes of
protective policy ca the part of the
local buyer, who fears that he may
weigh out" more than he ''weighs in
4 greater grievance is that at pres
ent the field farmer has little or no
control over the time ana conditions
II marketing his products. with the
result that he is often underpaid for
his products and usually oYercharged
'or marketing service The differ
ence between what the farmer re
ceives and what the consumer pays
often exceeds all possibility of justi-
fcation. To cite a single illustration,
LAST year. according to figures attest
ed hE the railways and the growers,
Georala Observation-Disclosures received
on the average 10 cents for melon,
The railroads got 1o7 cents for carry
ing it to Baltimore and the consumer
paid one dollar leaving 79.S cents for
The service of marketing and its risks,
as a@ainSr 20.2 cents Tor growing and
transporting The hard annals of
tarm-)ife are re1 lete with such com
uensarjes on the crudeness Of pres
mt practices.
Nature rrp~crjtes that the farmers
"4o@5s~ must be finished within two
or three months OF the year. while
tinaa"ial ana storage Limitations gen
orally coIupel him To sell them at the
same time A. Il rule. other industries
are in a continuous process If finish
ing goods for the markets: they dis
tribute as they produce, and they can
curtail production without too great
injury To themselves or the cOmmu-
nifty; but if the Iagmer restricts his
output, it is with disastrous conSe-
Quences. both to himself and 10 the
community.
The average farmer is busy with
production for the major part If the
year, and has nothing to sell. The
bulk Of his output comes on the mar
ket at once NcoauSe Of lack If stor-
age facilities ana e inaaeia support.
the farmer cannot carry his goods
through he year ana dispose of them
as they are currently needed In the
great majority Of cases. farmers have
10 entrIst storage-in warehouse aua
elevators-and the tinanD.... carrying
OF their products L. o-4'.-.
Farm prul"n,@ ary. Generally mar
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1922-01-27
Better Off Without II

Old GrOnes-I wish to heavens J
could acquire an appetite.
His Wife-For goodness sake what
do you want with an appetite? Il
would only give you more dyspepsia.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1922-01-27

died during brief period last
spring when the interior stations in
the Caucasus were cut off from
American food. On the other hand,
continuation of the full relief
program can not help but mean
better. more peaceful region in he
future" q
Approximately ninety thousand
children in Anatolia, Cilicia, and
Syria, besides the $4,000 in Trans
caucasia, are receiving American
training at present. according to
Mr.. Vickrey.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1922-01-27
5000
The New, Low Price OF the
International SIG Tractor !!

WE have reduced the price of the international 0o
w 1920 Tractor to rock bottom fgure-S9oo %. d.
Chicago and releasing it for sale IN al VI
the United States. The international o-lo IS toa
speed four-cyinder two-plow tractor which operates
kerosene. It's popular efficient record is oasen -"
its practical design and strength OF construcon, i
repaceable bearings centralized auto-contro access
bility and protection of working parts, depenoaoe OH
ing system, and other features
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1922-01-27
E

CLEANING
AND PRESSING SHOP.
w. can clean your gloves, block
- -, and dye your clothes. We can
D -ase YOU, Try us.
: dies and Giants shoe shine par
! = = ciean black, white, tan and
gray shoes.
Grand Forks herald. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1916-1955, 1922-10-23
'BlSONS AND !
CORNC0BS 10 n
TANGLE SOON
Strength Of Aggies. WILDE
Shown In Next Satur-
days Game. q
(Hcrald Special Service

Fargo, N. D., Oct. 23.-The Moor
head normal squad will offer the op-
position for the Bisons next Saturday,
October 20. This game win DO
watched with interest as it precedes
the big game of the year, when the
A.. c. boys clash with the Flickertails
November 4. Both games will be
played here.
This will be the. first year that the
Aggies have mixed with the Corncobs
in n scheduled game. and fthe ! CONF
parative strengths Of the TWO teams
always put~a fighting team on h field
and the Bisons are expected to meet
real opposition.
"Kecn's'' aggregation will outweigh
outexperience the ''Cobs,,"'E but it
is thought they will probably be a
little ~overconfident and will have on
siderable difficulty in overcoming the
fight Of Watkins men.
The Bisons emerged from their
toughest game so far this year, last
Saturday. with the. Montana State
aggregation with hut few injuries, but
1t is not known whether Cutting will
use his best force In c%onquering the
Corncobs. Many Ipjuries in this
game would cripple the squad for tho
big u" game and every precaution is
possible on the field November 4.
Loss, Arnold, Roberts or Boise will
take the wings, with Rumpeletcs and
Robbins ut tackle; Hull, Buchanan or
Bruegger at guard; L4atimer ut center,
and D%uerner, CLANCY. Harper, Hicks,
Flow, Berkover, Bohnsack and, Cum
derson all able to go in the backficld.a
Grand Forks herald. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1916-1955, 1922-10-23
a ~ .FN T1Ig1.sN ggNsNI sWt17TSN = eI99-5 ~ fAT-f0SssE
football, that in time weakens the best

football that in time weakens the best
of-nnea.
ers viii risk their ranking In confer
ehce games next Saturday. Mjhnesota
and Michtgan.5O 4 these two games the
Min 1esota-Ohio. game should gbe the.
most interesting. Ohio. In spite of the
Long score credited to the Wolverines
showed some effective formations that
were good for ten or fifteen
yard gains. while the Buckeyep asses,
with Hodge workman as Dispatcher
were as effective as ever. Michigan In
her game with Illinois will probably,
be extended to check the spirit which
the Illini showed Saturday. The VOL
veriIes will be top-heavy ~faYorites.
however. -
Iowa Purdue.
iowa, in the third conference game
ofsthe day viii meet Purdue. The Boil
were Just fair against Chi
Cages second and third string men
Saturday, and the Hawkeyes after
their Illinois experience will probably
endcavolS to pile UP u comfortable
score and take no chances. Indiana
and the Michigan Aggies mix in the
only other game of the day in which
q conference team is involved. The
Hoosiers have faced heavy odds to
date and this game should give them
al 'opportunity to try their metal on
a basis more nearly e Conference
standings including Saturdays games
Grand Forks herald. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1916-1955, 1922-10-23
CRUCIAL GAMES
IN BIG Ten
next SATURDAY
~ FsEs III ~. tt2fF-b 'EAgsENs. t.ttt ts }Sla -.
Dope Bucket Almost Spilled
In Conference Battles
Last Week.

Chicago, Oct. 23.-lBy The Aaso-
ciated Prcss.)--With five teams still
in the 1000 per cent column. Chicago
to play Princeton on the
midway and three western conference
games carded for mex Saturday,; fol-
lowers. OF the Big on football have Get
tied down to watch the Feeling dope
bucket which all but emptied itself on
two occasions Saturday. That II was
M entirely overturned was due to, the
all important safety BY which Iowa
able to nose out Illincis While the
seven to. seven tie between Minnesota
and NQrthwestern> proved the other
upset OF the day.
Michigan's 10 to 0 victory over Ohio
hot altogether unexpected as the
Buckeyes have a green team while the
Wolverines boast a veteran organiza-
ton. Other games followed expecta-
tions rather closely, Chicago winning
from Purdue IL to 0 and Wisconsin
beating Indiana 20 to o..
The Illinois lame was the greatest
surprise of the' day, as Illinois was
considered one of the weak teams of
the conference. The Illini have appar-
emily developed the same spirit that
beat, Ohio against overwhelming odds
last year and coaches on the Illini
SCieuulc are pTepdrlHS 10 meet a Can-
Eerous foe. On the other hand, the
conquerors OF the Yale Bulldogs have
shown themselves to be only mortal
and teams that have yet toSmeet Iowa
have gained confidence from Satur.
days close game.
Chicago-Princcton Game.
The Chicago-Princeton game. prob
ably the most important in the coun-
try next Saturday, will draw the atten-
ton of enthusiasts from coast to coast
Neither team has had an opportunity
to show its real strength and neither
has extended itself for the benefit OF
hostile scouts. Chicago's showing since
the Georgia game has not been con-
sidered as satisfactory as could be
wished but no one doubts that the vet
eran Coach Stagg> has kept his sleeve
we'll filed with surprises for this game
and will put a real contender on the
field. Indications are that he will again
try to beat the Tigers. as he did q year
ago with the casts own game. the pile
driving and slashing type Of straight
Grand Forks herald. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1916-1955, 1922-10-23
HEROES OF
9 PlNAFORE DAYS FROM
IS FICTION PERSONS

Chicago-That r~eligious and patri-
otto training Is manifest in the home
Is Indicated in the result OF 8, ballot
OF 900 girls in the National Kinder
garten and Elementary college here
who selected their .%favorite heroes of
plnatore days from a list of SIS fiction
persons. IAN
Christ headed the list Of twelve.
which received the largest number of
favorable votes. Lincoln and Wash
inGton followed closely, so, Ntre
heroine Of Little Women, led her sex
In popularity.
The others. following in the order
named, We're: str-Galahad, King Ar
thur, David, Daniel, Cinderella. Jo-
seph, Joan of Arc Mother. Goose and
In selecti4s their favorites, the stu
they felt they could safely econ
mend to mother ana teachers of the
country as eligible for a Childhood's
Hall OF Fame. 4
Among those who failed to be in
scluded in the hall were such herdes
and heroines as Alice in Wonderland,
Captain Kidd, David Copperaeld. The
Gingerbread Boy. CULVER, Huckel-
berry Finn, The Little Red Hen. The
Little Tin Soldier, Rip Van Wrinkle.
Robin HOOD, Robinson Crusoe, VIII
liam Tell, The Usly DucklinE, Tom
Brown. The Deerslaser and Tom:
Kiplings kim was ruled from the
hall of fame as were Snow White. Ell
Bic Dtnsmore, Frank Merfiwell and
Rollo. Several "heroes" of modern,
newspaper comiosstrtps failed to qyali-
The ch6ice Of Christ as first on tho
list, President Edna Dean Baker said,
proves that religious training is not
absent from the American home. The
vote for Lincoln, then Washington, in
idicates that patfiotismS Is asvttaISt thing
and that Lincoln Justly is close to the
heart of the country. Ha& g4s&
Rip Van Wrinkle was the Ionly,
character unen which ali voted Hia--
Watha came next with one freshman,
vote missing, Prince Charming prov
ed more popular with the studen
than with the few faculty Members
voting. Jack the GtaRta Killer res
sceived salf1o dpuble The rating from
the Ast1d emit bodySshe did from the
faculty CAPTAIN Kidd also found
Christ sColIInbns, Daniel, Joan OF
Arc, JOSEPH moses. IsRobfnson
TCrusta Ruth. WASHINGTON Sand VIII
liam Tell were given by@CharIes w.
Elliott president of. Harvard univer-
sity and authority on thess.Fye Foot
Bookshelf as. heroes OF his child
hood bu1tyAhesrefused to- grade them.
ssg"I 4 think you would do well to- inr
cln41s ii your ultimate list 81 elisibless
no. pegson4gerWho has not survived
public rennernbraHce 2fotSsat least
Grand Forks herald. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1916-1955, 1922-10-23
WtntefSports Carnival
lacks Support OfEans;
17 ProlectsAt StandstjIl
S!fdgg Begins
To OUertaul
The MarOOns

Chicago, Oct. Is. Alonzo stagg,
veteran master mechanic in the con-
construction OF football machines at
the University Of Chicago, today be-
gan an intricate oyerhauling Of his
naaroons in preparation for the
Princeton game tht cointrX's, leading
football attraction, next Saturday.
Despite C.htcago's clean record Of
three victories, two of them in west
ern conference games and the other
over Georgia. Stagg is not. satisfied
with the, Maroons.
Most Of the week will be devoted
to preparation 5of the attack to be
used against the Tigers. 'rile Ma
rooms are looking for ON surprises
from Princeton and it is Stages idea
to make the Tigers do some guessing
themselves.
Six teams of the Big Ten-two OF
them leaders In the championship
race, will risk their conference stand
Ing next Saturday. Bob Zuppke's H.
Uni, vino sent the dope bucket spin
ming last Saturday by 'hoidinAIowa to
an 8 to Z core, meets Mchi9an,
whose victory. over Ohio State placed
snem in the first division. Y Iowa plays
Purdue. anu the Minnesota Gophers,
VINO barely landed in the first Ndivi-
sion by getting q Z to Z tie with North
western, meet Nne Buckeyes, These
are the only conference games o n Sat
urcay's schedule. WISCONSIN and
northwestern are idle and Indiana,
tai!enders-f the second division.
meets n Michigan Aggies.
Grand Forks herald. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1916-1955, 1922-10-23
GATHERED By
THE HERALD |
Park RiD6r
Legion Beats
CrOOkStOnites
(Heraid Special service.

Creokston. Mimi, Oct. :3.-The Le-
gion teamR oe Park River andtCrooks-
ton clashed here Sunday. afternoon,
the former team withdrawing the To-
cal boys by a>scors Of 81 to o.
The Crookston boys started Off with
a. rush, using lire attacks to a large
extent, until the third quarter. The
Park ssRlyerites played an open game
throughout, and 1t was the success OF
this attack that determined the out
comssofy theAcontest. Gergen broth
ers ceinpletedS I out Of 1sIpasscs for
tho visitor @H
Tho first touchdown, was made in
the@last OF the first quarter: the secv
ond iii the third .quarter, the first be-
Ing llow BY a successful goal kick.
nllnutesIof play. but the kick WAS no
good. The visitors also scored a safe
,ty in this quarter. Z.
Grand Forks herald. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1916-1955, 1922-10-23
FARGO DOPESTERS
FAVOR AGGIES IN
CLASH WITH'U. N. D,

Fargo, Nd, Oct. 23.-Fargo foot
ball dopesters today had renewed
faith In the possibility of an agricull
tural college victory. over the univerl
sity htsEyear following the Agile
victory Of 81 to o over Montana State
Saturday, while the university had
triumphed over South Dakota State
only Is to 6 Friday. Itwas admitted,
however, that the South Dakotans had
.pVt up a better fght against the uni
vdrsity than the Montanans gave the
Aegies here. \.
Grand Forks herald. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1916-1955, 1922-10-23
DRIVE BREAKS LEG

Providence, r. T.. Oct. ,23.-After
making q. perfect drive from the third
tee on the golf course at the Silver
Spring Country club here Saturday.
Daniel. McWilliams, vice. president
Of the club, crumpled and fell to
the ground with q groan, both bones
Of his right leg fractured between the
ankle FRd knee. The theory is ad-
vanced that the sudden twist Nc
williams used In hitting the ball caus-
cd the bones to snap.