davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1922-10-26
JOSH TO
CLOSE JINGLE
TEST TONIGHT.
Jury on Contributions for $3.50
Prize Helped Out by
Frank Shull.

Josh Is tU0rfBtn' tof b0u---
Yo. sviu sure be festia' btsse
ri aou don't josh Josh today
Tell what he'd do IN the lectric
If he ,oere do,vn on the farm
today. ;
Z Tonight the contest comes to an
end
So get busy ,.aW NTH yoaraqrit-..
ing, friend.
Today's the day and tonights the
night. The Uncle Josh Jingle Con.
test, after wagging along merrily
for week, win close tonight. Only
those who have their drawings and
verses in the hands OF the contest
editor when the gun. goes off at
midnight will be eligible for the
$3.50 worth Of electrical appliances,
fixtures. or wiring offered by the
Potomac Electric Power Company
through the Washington Times.
q Frank Shuii. president Of the
Electrical Contractors and Dealers
Association Of the District OF
Columbia, was today appointed as
the contest Judge. He will be as
sisted by the art and copy depart
ments Of The Washington Times. .
The caricatures and verses will
be placed In Mr., .Shull's hands to-
morrow morning and the winners
win be announced Saturday on the
screen at Loew's Palace Thsater and
In The Times. -.
All you have to do to get a chance
at the seven awards offered by the
Potomac Electric Power Company Is
to draw cartoon OF Theodore Rob
erts as Uncle Josh In THE Old
Homestead" the popular Paramount
picture showing this week at Loew's
Palace fTheater-a photograph OF
Uncle Josh on which you can base
your drawing is printed in The
Times today-and write a brief verse
giving your idea of what ncle Josh
would do in the electrical way to
make the old homestead more com
Portable and efficient II he were alive
today. -. ....r -
That's all there Is to II. Just draw
your caricature OF Cpcle Josh and
write a few lines OF verse and get
them into the hands of the Uncle
Josh Jingle Conest Editor. The
Washington Times. by tonight.
/, You needn't he an artist or q poet
TO get into this contest. Hundreds
Of Washingtonians who profess no
claim to either title have already
sent their work in. II is mainly the
idea imbodied in your verse which
will determine its final ranking.
The Washington times., 1922-10-26

Doesn't hurt, d. bit! Drop a it.le
'Freezone'' on an aching. corn. in
stantly that corn STOPS, hurting;
then shortly you lift II right off
with fingers. Truly! ,e
Your druggist sells q tiny bottle
or 'Freezone" for few cents, SUI,
feient to remove every hard corn.
soft corn. or corn between the toes,
and the. calluses, without soreness
or irritation. -
Evening star., 1922-06-25

VERYBODY thinks of Sappho
. as lady who was carried up
stairs once in a play, but that
Evening star., 1922-06-25
WOMEN of Lespos in the B. c. days

WOMEN of Lespos in the B. c days
were just like the women of
New York, or of Centralia, Mo-, are
today. They had a weakness for
clubs and culture and poetry, SO Sap:
pho had it advertised abroad that
she was going to open Sappho's se-
lect School for Sapheads Gree trans
lation).
Rich ladies, weary with endowing as
asylums for homeless dromedaries and
such charities, f1ocked to Sappho's $
school to learn how to write fambic
pentameters. Young men who had neu-
ralgia of the 'sou1, and sighed so
much that they seemed to have
chronic hiccups, also attended her
poetry clinics And every spring.
when the love fever was at its height,
she had to have night classes to ac-
commodate the crowds.
The well known blank verse con-
tractor, Alcaeus, became envious Of
his female rivals growing fame. He
came to Sappho's school, disguised as
a free verse peddler, and immediate
ly became a slave to her charms. He
scratched this burning couplet on a
desk:
O wondrous wise and luscious teacher!
wonder can 1 ever reach her!
sappho raped him over the knuck-
les for defacing her furniture and
he went off to pout.
During vacation time. Sappho grew
tired of being a bachelor girl. One
night. while suffering under the In
f1uence of memory and moonlight, she
met a lad named Cercolas. of Andros.
She sang this touching apostrophe
to him:
You have a beauteous name. ! think;
1t sound to me like q soft drink!
This was too much for him. and
he asked her to become Mrs. sappho
cercolas Thus began an apple cider
Evening star., 1922-06-25
BY ANNE JORDAN.

- VERYBODY thinks of Sappho
X as a lady who was carried up
stairs once in a play, but that
was just a make-belieye Sap
pho invented by a French fictionist.
The real, original Sappho never had
anybody to carry her upstairs. ana
had no stairs to be carried up, any
way. She was poet, and lived In
self-assertive little isle called Nifty
lene. somewhere around 900 B. c.
She was a promising lass from the
ground up. At the age of Ia she
was so intelligent that she would
never accept a spoonful of paregorla
unless the bottle bore the signature
of the author. She early developed
a fatal tendency to versification. ana
became known as the Tenth Muse
even before she knew the names of
the other nine.
One of her first poems went like
this:
Olive Oil, Hypotenuse!
am Muse. I am a Muse!
Her father heard her reciting this,
and looked at UeI WA
his stein of imitation ambresia.
what are you amused over, daugh-
ter?"
Sappho swept his countenance with
her wistful eyes and went off to the
Leucadian cliffs to brood.
What an ignorant old dumb-bell
nv father is" she moaned. us
reniuses have a terrible time trying
to be understood"
Sappho rambled around the sea-
shore with her pet dithyrambics and
yearned for somebody to come INTO
her life, so she could write odes to
something besides the moon her
soul, life, death and trailing arbutus.
Circumstances forced her to be-
come a school teacher. She couldn't
sell her poetry, and her father mad
to have a new pair Of sandals, so she
had to get a job.
Evening star., 1922-06-25

godfather; attached to the inheritance
/ had a strange feeling. 1t was dis
tasteful to me to see in you suitor
ready to marry me solely because I
represented in his eyes a hundred
thousand francs. intended to make
myself as disagro'able as possible
when you came. This accidental meet
ing and your misunderstanding gave
me the idea of putting you to a test
at the start. And you have no reason
to complain, since I have thus been
able to establish your disinterested-
ness. That is not to say that we shall
marry. We must know each other
better before binding ourselves for
Evening star., 1922-06-25

"Yes. >Since they haven't seen me,
please say nothing about my visit"
You attach too much Importance to
my words. You must always dlstrust
what servant says about a mistress
l was prompted By jealousy, perhaps"
mo. Your manner is too frank and
TOO sincere for that. And, then, what
interest would you have in deceiving
me? Ny mind is made up. I'm,
going"
Stay. Please stay"
NO, no. Adieu, mademoiselle."
He started for the door. He was
about to cross the sill. She caught
up with him.
Evening star., 1922-06-25

life. Do you think / shall suit your
AS to that, yes" cried Sylvan, who
had listened with delight to the pret.
ty girls remarks. But he added with
sigh:
Il, too, on my side, must pleast
you. And l hardly dare to hope
TRY to-" she murmured.
There was SO much tenderness In
the smile which accompanied thess
words that he saw in 1t even more
than encouragement-alm q prom.
Use. His face beamed with joy
1T is agreed? You will stay?"
Yes. mademoiselle."
Il am sure that you will like my
cake. In any case, you know now
that 1 am good housekeeper. whe
gladly puts her hand to the dough-
Evening star., 1922-06-25

NO." she cried. "You mustn't go
away like that Wait at least. till
my father comes" 'f-'-
He turned around in surprise.
Your father?"
Yes. Don't you understand"
And with a little forced laugh,
which covered her embarrassm ent,
she added:
II am Colette Barlier."
Amazed at this unexpected revela-
tion, Sylvan didn't know what to
think or to say.
But she began very seriously:
X X X X
IT OWE you an explanation. When
i learned the condition: which my
Evening star., 1922-06-25

the teacher. and she complimented him
both professionally and personally. She
decided to quit teaching women, and run
! a strictly male class Of poetry. But as
soon as she had a real target for her
| verses she found her pupils dropping
Of her star student. and shot pop-guns
at his back until he began to dread COM
ing to school,
Little by little he eased off. and
Sappho's verses took a mournful turn
that made them really celebrated. Her
fame crossed the Mediterranean. and
even the Papyrus Publishing Company of
Alexandria begged her for contracts.
She wrote so constantly that she rained
her eyesight dabbling with weak ink.
Phaon. growing fat on his lady loves
| remunerative calling. found himself cut
from the primrose path and fast losing
his youthful shape. He sneaked over
the back fence. and left with Sappho's
family silver.
Sappho burned incense to Aphrodite
and begged her to send back the silver.
always favoring men. stuffed cotton in
her ears and told Phaon to go to it
Disguised with the world in general.
Sappho decided to give her daughter
Cleis a chance to collect her life insur-
ance.
Attired in a richly brocaded counter
pane draped Gracefully about her
classic figure, she went down to the spot
where the Leucadian breezes sweep
DER Sappho's memory-haunted billow."
Taking her faithful Lutte in hand. Sappho
gulped her last sad warble. There were
eleven reels. all addressed to the fickle
Phaon and her secretary copied them
carefully and tearfully.
Then. powdering her nose like a true
fatalist, Sappho dived remorsefully off
the cliff. Her last words hoated up to
the vigilant secretary:
Our life ~ but q sorry Joke
o. False Phaon. I hope you choke.
Evening star., 1922-06-25
Translated From the French
BY WILLIAM l.. MCPHERSON.
YLvAIN DUBAYET had inherited
from his parents a country es-
tate which was fairly productive

YLvAIN DUBAYET had inherited
from his parents a country es-
tate which was fairly productive
and which guaranteed him a
comfortable existence. free from
cares. At twenty-nine he kept saying
to himself that he couldn't always
live alone and that he ought to marry.
But, being distrustful and timid, and
fearing that he might fall into the
hands Of a wife who was cross-grain-
ed or extravagant. he postponed from
day to day the decision to take one.
So he was much upset when he learn
ed that a distant cousin had left him
a hundred thousand francs on condi-
tion that he should marry Mile. CO.
lette Barlier, daughter Of q gentleman
farmer. in neighhoring canton, and
goddaughter Of the testator. .... ..-.
What a singular idea this relative
had had. But, in spite Of the disturb
ance caused in his hitherto peaceful
life, Sylvaif was not insensible to the
value of the bequest. which would
permit him to enlarge his own estate
and would be otherwise highly advan-
tageous. Nevertheless. the prospect
Of a compulsory marriage was thor
oughly displeasing to him. He didn't
know the young girl whom he had to
wed. He understood vaguely that her
father was an old friend Of the dead
cousin.
His hesitation would doubtless have
been prolonged IL he had not received
a letter from M. Barlier, who. in cor
dial and simple terms. invited Sylvan
to visit him. Realizing the necessity
of this preliminary step, the young
man started off one fine day. in June.
From the station where he left the
train he made his way to the house
pointed out to him as M. Barlier's.
NERVOUS about visit whose i'm
portance his shynessl exaggerat-
ed, he slowed up his steps as he ap-
preached the house. But, however
at the outer gate. and. seeing 1t open.
decided to penetrate into the court.
A big dog ran toward him. barking.
He was about to beat retreat when a
young girl appeared at the house door.
She wore white apron, had her
sleeves rolled back and held in. her
hands bowl Of dough which she was
doubtless busy kneading.
BE quiet, Medor," she called to the
dog.
Then, addressing the visitor:
'sWhat Is It you wish, monsieurT
+ 81 have come to see N. Barrier.
am Syivain Dubayet." slsTyrs -
The young girl gave = little start.
quickly repressed. -.
M Bariier isn't home," she said; !;
but won't you please: come In and
Evening star., 1922-06-25

presents ,itseif today IN Its most acute
and most appalling forms.
He must have meant the world out
side of his distinguished audience.
since only the most noble qualities
could be associated with the academic
life Of the Observation-Disclosures train
ing for high achievements; an alumni
body notable in every endeavor that
stands for honored success; guests
whose names are gold written on the
scroll Of fame-unless one might ar
que bit Of jealousy in the matter of
Evening star., 1922-06-25
AROUND THE CITY
BY Mamie Lancaster

HERE are more ways of fishing
than Izaak W. tells about. IT
the tragedy of Tampa Bay
gave you a. sinister interest in
the barracuda, you probably started
off without line. hook. sinker or bait
to angle among the governments
specimens for the murder fish whose
alias is Tiger of the Sea-" But you
didn't find him, did you? All the
same, the trip was not a failure, for
the good reason that your hunt
through both museums and the fish
cries bureau gave you a right to sniff
at superior people and papers who
class sea serpent reports as silly
season fakes. Why, listen.
That old Pacific walrus that has
been occupying a glass case ever since
you used to play with Noah's little
boy owns a whiskered head that
would make any sea serpent hide
his own. And among the casts. each
outrivaling the other in terrifyin 6
grotesquesness. is our own innocent
little sunflsh, exaggerated into an
oceanic monster with teeth human
enough to feature a dental display.
A Japanese crab that might have
been made Of native bamboo carries
at the claw-ends of his yards of
feelers a double row of grinders that
sets you to wondering why SO many
of these Dante-made swimmers of the
seven seas SHOULD go armed with such
formidable teeth-big gorilla teeth
unless to fight under world leviathans
that rise to the surface often enough
to furnish sea serpent tales that no
one believes except the few who see
them.
And there you have had your days
catch. as truly-and far more COM
fortably-than If you had hauled each
fish out of the water, with Walton
bossing the job.
Here is a secret tip as to how
the most famous of European design
crs comes by his genius for colors:
If you will go over to the new mu-
scum, to a vast and silent hall, you
will find a table as big as the one
Fe-Fi-Fo Fun used to eat bad chill
dren on-remember? Only 1t isn't a
table, but a cabinet, with drawers
down to the f1oor-ffty on each side,
which makes hundred. Inside these
drawers you will find every color you
ever saw in all your life and many,
many, many that you never dreamed
of-all blazoned on winged
butterflies from every country under
the sun. The variations are so count
less in tone and contrast, and the
gossamer creatures SO suggestive of
human types, that all you have to
do is to take notes, embody them
into hats, gowns and accessories.
charge a goodish price for "origi-
nality'-same as the big designer
oxer there-and for the rest Of your
lives Strawberries and cream!
Just for an advance hint: There are
fresh-widow butterflies in allur-
INCEST combinations Of woe and
watch-me effects; widowy butterflies
taking notice in lavenders that no
orchid or wistaria ever aspired to;
napper flies in riotous sports colors;
brides in rapturous chiffons and fairy
wrought laces; novice butterflies in
austerest convent white, and jungle
butterflies SO vampish in scarlets,
Evening star., 1922-06-25

tickets, which was made necessary by
the limitation Of the chapel. The
tickets were sought for by every in
f1uential means. One fortunate men,
Der of the audience, when called on
for an explanation OF his luck. ad-
mitted with prideful secrecy:
Il bought it for a pint of GIN
Which seems to show that the
president of Princeton is somewhat
Of a prophet.
This little story was brought home
by Washington lumnus.
Evening star., 1922-06-25
A Test for Dubayet.
BY Paul Gaulot.

! wait for him. while go on with my
work.
He obeyed mechanically, entered,
girl, who, resuming her task. kneaded
the dough, now exposed on a big,
wooden board.
"You will excuse me-" she said.
1T Is who must excuse myself" he
answered. Then he asked:
Are you the servant?"
She lifted her head, smiled and said.
after a few seconds hesitation:
LAS you see. And you are the heir?"
you know about it?"
'They have certainly talked enough
about It,"
The opportunity seemed good. He
plucked up courage.
What does Mile. Barlier say?"
This thing, that thing. She seems
very well satisfied. Why shouldn't she
be? You are a catch. especially since
the inheritance"
"Is she fond of money!"
"Yes and no. At least not Of put
, ting it into an old stocking"
"Of spending it?"
Rather. When one is young and
coquettish one loves clothes. That
is very natural. isn't it? And clothes
cost good deal, nowadays"
I'm the country one doesn't have
many opportunities to wear fine
clothes" .. ID.
Evidently. So believe she dreams
Of living in the CITY,"
Living in the city? Does she expect
to have. all her wishes satis1ed?"
MY faith, should be sorry for the
man who didn't let her have her way
When she has an idea in her head
everything must yield to it. It isn't
that she is bad at bottom, but her
character is capriciousN Perhaps 1
am wrong to tell you these things?"
Not at all; you are doing me a
service
Maybe, maybe not. Suppose that
what I have safd should deter you
from marrying her. You would be
a heavy loser. A hundred thousand
francs are worth some concessions"
tsx7OU don't know me-" he answered
! with feeling. If it were neces-
sary to purchase the Inheritance by
marrying a girl who is coquettish,
extravagant and self-willed. ! would
renounce it right away"
That's fine!" cried the young girl
in so convincing tone that Sylvan
was astonished.
what did you say?"
II said: That's fine! You see, the
kneading is finished and the cake
will be good. You will enjoy eating
it,"
II shall not eat it. and am sorry.
But think I'D better 60"
You aren't going away like that?'
Evening star., 1922-06-25

purples and every other jewel-hecked
diablerie of color as to run the whole
gamut of seven deadly sins-the most
glamorously enticing color for every
occasion and everybody, 'cep'n old
maids, and they better go down to
the fisheries bureau, where aquari-
ums provide every age-atmosphere Of
spinst terism, from the hope-on, hope
ever hue of the silver gar down to
cobblestone bass for ladies' as has
give up struggling.
THE street car public will agree
L unanimously that a cross-seat is
preferable to one on the side. There
fore, it may have occurred to you to
wonder why SO many very young
girls seem eager for the less COM
Portable location. And their insist
ence upon vacating cross-seats for
mature women has, of course. ap-
pealed to you as evidence that gay
little fappers are assuming the
chivalrous obligations that men seem
to be throwing away-most men, not
all.
Revelation that things are not nee
essarily what they seem came to one
passenger the other day, when a
pretty youngster seated in the sun
refused her pantomimed proffer Of an
window place beside her which
had just been vacated by a man. The
rejection was made with a smiling
70 cto he so ortto
lady accepted her rundown as a lady
Samaritan should, and that would
have been the end Of it, except that
another woman behind leaned for
ward to dispense an explanation:
"Flappers don't want cross-seats
because cross-seats hide their stockings.
If they can't sit on the side where they
can show every. thread OF stocking
the law allows, they hang onto
be true. but all the same:
Seeing that our little sisters Of the
silken knees have to pay for such
fragile elegancies as pastel tinted
hose and nifty slippers that strap or
buckle or lace around their callow
ankle bones. why not let them enjoy
the worth of their money? Youth,
being of that airy. iridescent froth
that soap bubbles are made of, wants
it's gay audacities as naturally as
grass wants the morning dew And
when, you think OF the years ahead of
most little flaps: prosaic Isle thread,
likely of the black that turns rusty
in the wash; ugly. serviceable shoes;
tubs. dishes. stoves and every other
cramping drudgery Of everyday mar
riage-the sublime self-effacement of
motherhood.
You notice that men-the worth
while ones who know their little book
are more understanding Of f1apper
folly and kindlier in criticism than
women, which seems soft Of queer,
seeing that there isn't mature wom-
an alive who wouldn't be a fiapper il
she could! 3.-.--q1-
x+4
pREsIDENr JOHN GR1ER HfBBoN
: Of Princeton University believes
that something is wrong. with the
world. To as many of the alumni,
guests and students OF the university
as could secure tickets for his bac-
calaureate sermon last Sunday he
declared that the problem of evil, al
ways present always mysterious
Evening star., 1922-06-25

existence that soured all too soon
into vinegar.
A heavy weight Of hours-1S to 20
a day-bore too heavily upon one OF
Sappho's tender sensibilities. She
wrote. the threnody OF her domestic
woes in these immortal words:
All gone to soap, my youths fair. wishes.
In waihing .thess darn greatly dishes.
It may readily be seen, that there
were extenuating circumstances, con-
nected with sappho's divorce from Papa
Cercolas, though the eminent archeolo-
gist, Prof. Hasbean, claims to nave
found evidence that sappho aggravated
her husband by striking him repeatedly
with q skillet From this the professor
infers that the custody Of their cnild,
Cleis. undoubtedly should have been
awarded to the father. OF this am in
doubt, but am inclined to be lenient
with Sappho in this write-up, because
the poor girl was poet and that pun
ishment enough.
sappno. deliriously happy In her re-
gained freedom, lived for a space on
toasted moonbeams and humming bird
notes. When she discovered that she
was growing thin on this diet. she ran
a new ad. and opened school again with
new energy. Cercolas, who had hoped
to be supported by his wife In spite Of
the divorce, found q sign, Room to
Rent" on his bungalow and caught a
banana galley for the continent
Evening star., 1922-06-25

EVIDENCE
Evening star., 1922-06-25

pACK at school, Sappho realized
that she was again in her element.
She found a spray Of fresh mignonette
on her desk each morning. and, beaming
at her from the front row. handsome
young face. 1t was the face, dear read
er. of none other than Phaon. 1t wasn't
long before Sappno was keeping him
after school for flirting with the other
girls-slim as was the pretext. a,
Phaon Wrota heart-melfinR lyrica to
The Columbia evening Missourian., 1922-06-02
Among the People Of This Vicinity

bert Smell. After the business session
refreshments were served.
Mrs. W. D. Wells and her daughter,
Louise and Billie, went to Boonville
Sunday TO visit Mrs. Wells mother, who
is i'll. They returned home Wednesday.
Miss Georgia Clayton went to Fay
eite Wednesday where she will enter Gen.
trail College for the summer term. Miss
Clayton has been re-employed as teach
er in the Gray district for the coming
year.
Mr.. and Mrs. E. O. Bethke, Mr.. and
Mrs. H. c. Royster and their children.
Mrs. Anna Thompson and her children,
Miss Lydia Behtke and Russell Prig.
more spent Memorial Day at Tolber's
Lake. Miss Bethke caught fifty fish,
most Of them nearly the length Of her
finger.
Mr.. and Mrs. Elmer Mcmillan and
their baby motored to Columbia Tues
day to attend the Commencement exer-
.cises Of Stephens College. Mr.. McMil.
lan's sister, Miss Allie Davis, who was
one Of the graduates, and her parents,
Mr.. and Mrs. Allison Davis, returned
home with them.