Evening star., 1922-11-28
CAPITAL KEYNOTES
BY PAUL Y. COLLINS.

Various explanations are suggested
for the new order requiring all Army
officers who are on duty in Washing
ton and are permitted to dress in
civilian attire. to wear their uniforms
at least one day each month. Some
suggest that it Is in order to give
assurance that the uniforms are kept
In condition for immediate use. in
caution is that the uniforms shall
always be found capable Of reaching
around the paunches of the o:fic crs.
Tsuring President Roosevelt's regime
officers were required to ride certain
distances. but it was understood that
the object was not so much that of
being assured that all the horses were
fed. but to keep. the officers spurs
from becoming tarnished and their
riding agility from going into in
innocuous desuetude. Now that cav
airy is not so essential. the officers
should practice replacing punctured
tires and doctoring the self-starter in
SolN "CdthSI. IASSp GIL ht.
+ * + x
Reckless automobile drivers may
well quake in their seats, for SOC
mothers have agreed to stand upon
the street corners this week for the
express purpose Of recording num-
bers of the machines which age wild
ly driven 1.-The female OF the species
is more deadly than the male" and
any chauffeur who incurs the wrath
of 500 mothers whose children arc
endangered because the speed fiends
are still at large will be wise TO take
to the tall timber and stay there.
Laddic Boy must feel that his
nose is opt of joint" for some good
friend of Mrs. Harding has presented
the first lady of the land with the
most wonderful canary in America
a bird that will sing whenever told to
sing. and will stop when so requested.
In that respect. that bird will set
mighty fine example to bashful young
ladies who have to be coaXed TO sing
and to others whom nothing can
stop from singing unless it be black
cap pulled over their cages. Prob
ably II Congress win kindly adjourn.
Mr. President or somebody will have
time to train Laddie Boy to howl
whenever the bird sings. In the Ian
guage of Hood, the poet: What do
you think of that. my dog?"
For ways that are dark the moGcrn
manufacturers of foodstuffs not only
take the cake" but plot TO spoil it
In the baking according To Miss Anna
Van Meter of the Department of Ag-
riculture. She says that the manu-
facturers give out recipes which call
for a pound. but then they put up
the ingredients in fourteen or fifteen
ounce packages. 50 that the house
wife is obliged to buy two packages
at once and break into both. In
stead of raising the prices Of COM
Of the package. For example. hair
pins. which formerly came SIX 10 the
package. now are sold five to the
package 1862 per cent increase
OF cost, which the buyers fail to OH
serve. By the way, what an appro-
pirate name does the lady bear who
exposes the false measure: Meter. No
false measure In that.
There has been much discussion for
many years over the unreasonable
ness of March as Inauguration day.
Proposals have been urged to charge
the date to some day In juno. Then.
II ever. come perfect days" But row
comes the American Bar Association
with a resolution urging that the
date be changed backward to Janu-
airy / instead of postponing it until
spring mildness.
The explanation Of the selection Of
March is given that in early days.
when means OF transportation were
limited to the speed OF a horsc-as
often under saddle as attached to a
wheeled conveyance-it was found
that the newly elected required that
much interval after the November
election before they could reach
Washington. even though all the
thirteen original states We're east of
the ~AISelostpHt IL llAl II INK
only measure of the desirable inter-
val between election and installation
in office. why. indeed. should We wait
now until March2
4 Californian of oregouian elected
in the first week In November can
report in Washington by November
Is. y luxurious trip across the con-
,inent can be made easily in four
days. Why wait four months before
making It? Before many years an
airplane will cross tho continent in
one day. Moreover. is there any rea-
son why a mans bodily presence is
essential to mis- voting in Congress
by radiophone. now that he can listen
in TO all debates while sitting
among the clouds upon a Rocky noun
tain peak:
Washington is the constitutional /
capital of the nation. and it has been
supposed that all governmental func-
tions had to he performed here. until
President Wilson saw fit to transfer
his activities even into a foreign land
while still exercising his powers as
President. Things are going to move
more rapidly in the future than at
the 1900 pace. Things are going to