davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1922-01-05
Good
Morning
Judge
By Rudolph Perkins.

George Bailey was alleged to
have attempted to attack John
Thomas Porter with an axe and
almost chopped his own foot.
That happened, John said. be-
cause Gorge stumbled over a dog
and the blow went wild. the axe
landing on the floor within a frac-
ton of an inch of the foot of his
assailant.
He put'his hand towardshis hip
pocket" George explained. "Ah
didn't know. but what All was gonna
had nah funeral after that. All
TUX that axe to defend mahsefi
Wild
"Lookin' TO nah cigarettes" John
said. Me en- George amt been on
good terms-not since his gal cum
to me TO- perfection. Jes cause All
reached TO a smoke. All cum nigh
Gittin' kilt. Dat dog saved nah
life cause he was curled up right
in front of George"
Hes also got it in TO- me-" John
went on, cause All usually wins
fun him wen we shoots crap at
nah house. De last time we played
he los all he had en- then tole
me he would shoot craps for the
gal en- All tole him All already had
her. Den he said he would git
me-"
Looks like you both are in
wrong said the court? but since
George is the only one now charged
with any offensc, will punish him
with thirty days in JAIL
You" said the judge, pointing
10 john want to lookout or else
you'll be here too. Keep out of
crap games and Keep your cigar
cites in some other pocket"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1922-01-05

shows how much determination you
have.
1t is a sign of weak mind to
sit with the thumbs turned in and
held by the fingers.
Thumbs that bend up indicate a
curious disposition.
A small. narrow thumb denotes a
weak character.
II the first finger leans toward
the second, power is shown weak
ened by melancholy.
II the second finger leans toward
the first, 1t Is indicative OF the en-
ergy that will conquer every OBJ
stcle
The. second finger leaning toward
the third indicates god fortune and
large gains.
1t is bad sign for all fingers to
be of the same length-sign Of a
thief. -
The third leaning toward the
fourth denotes celebrity and fame.
IL the fingers curve. upwards 1t
is sign of generosity.
II the fingers curve. downwardly
the person is niggardly.
II Your middle finger is much
longer than the palm of your hand
you have a keen, actiye mind.
II the end of the little finger
reaches higher than the last joint
Of the ring finger he or she will
rule the house with ease and the
other will be easily obedient.,
You can obtain any object you
desire il you can make the tips Of
the first and fourth fingers meet
over the back of your hand
IL you curl your little finger you
are blueblooded.
When your fingers are slippery
and everything drops out of them.
it is sure sign of a visitor.
II you clasp your hands together.
'interlacing the fingers, and the right
thumb unco1sciously comes on top,
you will rule the home; IL the left.
you will be ruled.
Do you know the origin of the
expression thumbs down. In the
old Roman days. when at the gla-
diatorial exhibitions the fight be-
tween man and man, or between
man and beast, had reached the
point where one was at the mercy
of the other, II was put to vote
whether the conquered should be
put to death or not. The people
signified their pleasure by their
thumbs. II they were in a merciful
mood or the man was q ,favorite. thew
turned their thumbs up, which
meant he or she should be allowed
to live: but IL they were fierce for
blood they turned their thumbs
down. and the victim was dis
patched before their eyes.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1922-01-05

If your fiance has square fingers
you may count on his being firm
in his opinions. reasonable, and
quite an orderly person.
If his fingers are fat, he's lazy.
The same applies to his fiancee.
The ambitious person has long
fingers.
The amiable. easy-going person
has short fingers. 49, ,-.
Large fingers show intellectually
and common tastes.
Small. thin fingers bespeak a
clever, acute mind, somewhat given
to deceit.
Lean fingers indicate simple
tastes. perhaps leaning too much
toward penuriousness.
Markedly pointed fingers~indicate
religious fervoE and lima gination.
A coarse, brutal nature is dis
closed by fingers as large at the tips
as at the roots.
The strength of your will power
is measured by the length of the
upper joint Of the thumb.
Thumbs that curve downward
show shrewdness and .miserliness.
Thumbs that are coarse, heavy
and undeveloped belong to rude and
ignorant persons.
In the old days in Scotland. lick
ing thumbs was the recognized sign
among the lower classes that sale
had been agreed upon and was
satisfactory and lucky.
Never trust a woman who hides
her thumbs in the palms of her
hands. ...-
II the thumb turns back. it is a
sign that you love to spend money.
A short thumb is a sign Of hum
BILE origin.
The second division of the thumb
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1922-01-05
HOROSCOPE.
THURSDAY. JANUARY 5. Is,:.


Caution should rule conduct, to-
day. according to astrology, for
Saturn, Neptune. Venus and IRA
nus are ali inNeviI place. -
Most dangerous will be the. as
ISOLATION with women or the indul
gence in any sentimentality, fol
power to deceive will be strongly
active under this sway.
While women may bring bad luck
to men, with Neptune and Uranus
unfriendly they should guard their
own affairs. for they may exercise
poor judgment in business or social
matters.
There is a menacing sign for la
Dor and industry. making for rest
lessness and discomfort
Distorted views Of public matters
may be easily accepted at this time.
and the stars Indicate that much
dangerous propaganda will be dis
seminated.
plays or for first appearances of
actors. Audiences will be extreme
ly critical and hard to please, If
the stars are read Alright
Danger Of accidents On electric
any pAoPciiSu vehicles Is supposed
to be increased by this sway.
Aviators should be especially
careful today. when Uranus frowns.
Safety for life and limb in city
streets will focus attention as new
er before. during the coming year,
it is predicted. and new methods of
relieving congestion will be in
vented.
Storms of extraordinary violence
are prognostieated, but the chief
feature of winter weather will be
the peculiar character of the winds
and SHOWS. floods and rains, that
will upset all traditions in vari-
Gus States.
There will be but two eclipses
this year, both of the Sun. One
takes place March 2S and the other
September 81. The March eclipse
Is held to presage grave industrial
difficulties, as well as movements
OF armies and excessive drought.
Persons whose birthdate it Is
should keep their health in order.
Business may be rather strenuous
during the coming year. Both men
and women will prosper.
Children born on this day may
be too fond of amusement for their
best interests. They should be
carefully trained to habits Of in
dustry for they viii probably be
very talented.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1922-01-05
The Mortgaged Wife
A Story of Heart-throbs, Ambition,
Unrequited Love, and Adventure
By MILDRED BARBOUR

ever spend any time on the ranch? %
why, yes, OF, course. One. sum-
mer shortly after I returned from
France. There was so much to be
looked after in regard to my in
heritance-"f
"Ah" North wagged his bald
head. .e
why do you say an like that2''
asked Jeanne.
He smiled wisely.
81 can understand now. my dear
that beatific look upon the young
mans face as he gazed at his lovely
employer. The chaps in love with
you"
Jeanne crimsoned.
Mr.. North! You mustn't say such
a thing! Realty Why, he-he
wouldn't think of such imperti.
nence-"
To be Continued Tomorrow.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1922-01-05
Penniless.

In the good old days when 81
would purchase the best matinee
seat and cents would pay car fare.
hurried off TO the matinee one
Wednesday. and found / had only
sl.10 in my bag.
After paying car fare and buying
my ticket. it left me cents to get
home.
Imagine my horror when that
precious nickel rolled down under
the seat and 1 could not find it. I
looked in vain. was forced to ask
the man at the ticket Office for car
fare home. know you will smile.
So did he. II. ID.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1922-01-05
EMBARRASSING MOMENTS

fore anyone beat me. Just as
stopped to pick up the purse 1t
slowly, gently moved from just I'M
der my hands. stood rooted to
the spot. Hearing laughing and
shouting, I turned to go back to
the car. 1t seemed I'D never make
1t, and l never saw so many folks
around. They all laughed. while
the boys who had the purse on a
string jumped up and laughed and
shouted at me.
That was the longest twenty
yards ever walked-back to
where the machine stood with my
Misunderstanding just like the
others.
L. b L.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1922-01-05
Trials Of the stout.

am stout. and anxious to reduce.
My boss was out one afternoon and
I decided to take advantage of his
absence and take some needed OK
ercise.
Well. hoped on one foot. then
on the other; touched the floor
without bending my knees; tourned
to find two dignified men watch
ing me.
They were kind enough to act as
though II was all quite matter of
fact. 1 could scarcely speak, was
SO embarrassed.
I made firm resolve to do my
reducing at home hereafter.
NJ Il
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1922-01-05
Was Hard on the rarson


Another reception and both
painful and embarrassing" mo-
mcni:
At ~ years of age / was sent away
to study music. weighed 156
pounds and il was my misfortune to
appear round instead of long"
was to board in a ministers home.
he requiring me to try and appear
as ceremonious and formal as he
did. I was drilled how to cntei
a room with ease and grace. etc.
My AT Home" day arrived. So
did I. decided to slide down the
long 'banisters. then enter where my
young guests were. walking with
ease and grace. canister beng
long, I being round and heavy. /
found l could not stop when reach
ing the bottom. / entered the re-
ception room with a bound, rolling
at the feet of the dignified minis
ter and wife. C.E.H.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1922-01-05
The Unkindest Cat.

While motoring with a party Of
friends ] noticed that my automo-
bile was ejecting an unusual
amount of smoke. I attributed IL
to the fact that on the preceding
day / had cleaned out my crank
case with kerosene.
AS 1 came to a stop to observe
a boulevard l noticed a traffic Of
ficer on duty. A gentle breeze blew
the offending smoke over him I'M
til il developed him completely.
Suddenly he rushed over to me
and shouted. What are you burn
ing-soft coal?"
A. G &
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1922-01-05

My husband and l were out for
drive. I saw a big black leather
purse right in the middle OF the
street. It so happened no cars
were behind us for about twenty
yards, and cried: stop and let
me get that purse"
Well, 1 got out and started to
run back. Five or six cars came
by me and I lodged through. /
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1922-01-05
T'actfuI.

I was thoroughly absorbed in
teaching an English class when a
devoted little girl in the front seat
scrubbed a note and handed il to
me. 1t read: Miss H: The end of
your switch is sticking straight up"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1922-01-05
He Aimed to Please.

! went to a railroad office in
New York to buy a ticket to my
home in Wisconsin.
intended to ask II my ticket
would allow me to stop on the way
for few days in the Windy City,
but instead OF asking for a ticket
to my home town asked the price
Of a ticket to Chicago.
The agent told me.
How long can l stay in Chi
caEo?" I inquired.
Just as long as you choose" re-
piled the polite ticket agent.
Then 7 blushed deeply and took
my departure.
u
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1922-01-05
Face 20 Face.

F1ec TO Fuces
The other day girl in the bank
in which I'm employed came Oyer
and asked IL I would like to read
one If the Embarrassing Moments,
1t was about a girl who had bought
4 broom and. wrapping it, thought
she could get it safely home with
ont anyone noticing It. She hadn't
gotten far when the wrappinGa
were Off.
After reading. 1t. I said. she
must Rave been a dumbbell n
imagine she could disguise a
broom
! looked up and met an icy stare.
She said: Il was the dumbbell.'
r. s.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1922-01-05

JEANNE DARE, knot0n In the Httte
Totca totcn toheRce she come as plain
JANE DARE, has set herself up In
Nste York as ,cealthy ,oontGn In the
hope Of sharing a rich hnsbcnd. In this
EFFORT she 70 making use Of
RICHARD CANDY. cell knevn mon
qbost totcn.
MRS. ADELE PARKINSON, q tcid-
90 ard former flame Of his. At diBser
she meets
- VIC Barstotce, heir to the reputed
Bdrstotoe millions, toho shotcs signs Of
infatHation tcith her.
sicaor Bonnicetti, former ciohnsst,
asks only to serve Jeanne.
He Informs jeanne he CON oorrotc
rothin1 on her toorthiess land.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1922-01-05
Explaining Henry.

Jeanne went cold. OF all people
in the world. she would rather any
one but Selby North had seen her
arrival in Harrison's company
What a fool she had been to sug-
gest his coming with her! 1t had
never occurred TO her that other
guests might be arriving stimuli
taneausly. even at that late hour.
"Oh. that man" she managed a
laugh and a shrug of her lovely
shoulders. He is the superinten-
dent OF a ranch own out West.
He came East unexpectedly to see
me on business have a good
offer for a slice of it-and he had to
catch the midnight train back. So
] went over the business with him
coming up in the car"
selby North looked at her closely
Jeanne wondered 70 her imagina-
tion had evoked 3 credible story.
so you are the fortunate owner
Of a xaneh? Did you. may I ask.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1922-01-05

To be Continued Tomorrow.
New-York tribune., 1922-02-15
A Profitable Committee

In its financial report to the Legis-
lature the Lockwood committee, JUS
tifying its expenditures, estimates
that it has saved $3.50, 100000 to the
rent payers of New York.
Though the figure is large and
suggests that the committees statis-
tlclan is a relative of the one who
instructed Senator Borah as to the
cost Of bonuses, nevertheless it will
e admitted that the Lockwood COM
mittee was an excellent investment.
worth much more than it cost. The
rent gougers were whetting their
scythes for q harvest when the COM
mittce became active, and the way
they hate the COMMITTEES sufficiently
attests its merit. It's handling IF
predatory organizations of business
and of labor was highly deterrent
and made the cost of home building
more humane.
10 what degree rents have been
kept down is, Of course, a matter Of
dispute-probably not so much as
supposed, for rents are up. But the
abiding interests Of tenement own
ers were served by the slow advance
which prevented a runaway market,
with sponding drop when the
boom burst. 1t is to the credit of
The Lockwood committee that it
muckraked little and did not attemnt
a head-on collision with economic
law
The committee has done well--has
helped to restore faith in the integ-
rity Of goverrm It. Why, then, the
effort at Albany to get rid of the
committee?
New-York tribune., 1922-02-15

schools, and perhaps not compliment
tary to the newspapers themselves.
The interest Of growing children
can be directed readily to the news
of the day. Theil natural curiosity
can be aroused to instruct them in
current events. If they are taught
while still young to read newspapers
they will continue to read the news
papers throughout their lives. And
intelligent newspaper readers arc al
ways we'll informed.
Every teacher who dcvotes at least
a few minutes each day to discussing
the days news or to the reading Of
newspaper articles can be rewarded
amply by the growing alertness of
the minds committed to his or her
care.
We could if we chose suggest the
newspaper which cndcavors to be
the best fitted for this purpose, but
its name will occur, let us hope, to
the brightest teachers in the schools
without any specific mention.
New-York tribune., 1922-02-15
The Highlands Post1nastership
iitor Of Tho Tribune,

To the Editor OF The Tribune.
Sir: A letter appearing in a recent
issue of your paper sent by Robert
Emmett Ward, Highlands, n. c., signed
"Well Wisher," is absolutely unjust,
and | wish to enter protest. We are
not an illiterate or uneducated COM
munity and that letter was not written
by an illiterate, but by some one pos
ing as such.
The grand postmaster" In question
is the only candidate who stood the
civil service examination and made an
average of so. He has been Endorsed
by majority of the Republicans OF
Highlands. We have thrown over the
old spoils system of politics and know
that civil service gives US efficiency
"Kind-hearted Will Hays" being most
just and efficient Postmaster, the ques-
ton is safe ir his hands.
CHARLOTTE B. ELLIoTS.
Highlands, N. c., Feb. 9, 19S0
New-York tribune., 1922-02-15
The Sick Are Not Felons

In his annual report John S. Ken
nedy, Commissioner of New York
State Prisons, urges the adoption Of
a recommendation by DR.. Ernest S.
Bishop that steps be taken to care
for non-criminal narcotic drug ad-
diets outside Of penal institutions.
DR.. Bishop, an able authority on the
narcotic drug problem, made his rec
ommendation as consulting physician
to the Prison Commission.
The non-criminal narcotic drug
addict by his very plea for treat
ment proves that he has a social
conscience and would conquer his
habit. He deserves from society
better treatment than is accorded
felons. A hospital is the place for
him--not prison.
New York has admitted a respon-
sibility for sufferers from drug ad-
diction by deputing to magistrates
authority to commit for treatm MT
any addict who applies. But Jail is
not the place to send them. HOSPITAL
ization would cost little more and do
vastly more good.
New-York tribune., 1922-02-15
A Shortage Of Observation

There is alarm because recent
inquiry has shown that only 46 per
cent of twenty thousand high school
pupils could answer questions about
football, baseball and the movies. 1t
seems to be argued that if high
school pupils are not informed on
these important matters they are
likely to know still less about his
tory, politics and current events.
This reasoning was correct.
Fortythree out of sixty-nine New
York pupils had never heard Of
Charles G. Dawes. Thirty did not
know Of Myron T. Herrick. Twenty
were unable to identify Andrew D.
Mellon. To ten of each hundred the
name of Elihu Root meant nothing
whatever, and twenty-one were OBJ
livious to the existence of r .nry
Ford.
The test proved generally that
about half the pupils at high schools
do not read the newspapers, which
is not at all complimentary to the
teaching methods employed in the
New-York tribune., 1922-02-15
The Far-Flung Bathtub

Love Of his far-nung bathtub
practically prccludes the Anglo
Saxon from achieving greatness in
the arts, says one of our poets. He
may rule the seas and the banks of
the world, but it is not for him to
rule the soul, which he apparently
assumes cleavcs to dirt.
The alleged incompatibility be-
tween water and art fails completely
to explain why poets so often resent
the rite of the cold plunge. Yet, for
some reason, the thought of the
hardy Anglo-Saxon rising in the
early morning and lcaping gladly
into cold tub is particularly Of
fenslve to makers of verse. They
argue that only q callous soul can
be harbored within skin thick
enough to endure the morning splash
without agony. Such one, they
hold, can never be a lover Of the
delicate arts.
If so, it BODIES i'll for the aesthetic
future Of America. Although the
Engllshman has taken the bathtub
to the uttermost ends of the earth,
he never yet has assigned to it the
position Of importance which the
bathroom and all its concomitants
hold in America. TO the Britisher his
rubber tub is a symbol of his civil
ization, and he looks upon the non
washing peoples with calm scorn.
But the American has come to Judge
the degree Of his own and all civil
zations by the condition of the
plumbing.
Ii the poet is right, is it not safe
to assume that the members Of the
new school of American fiction
writer's battle constantly?
New-York tribune., 1922-02-15
Spreading the Bonus Tax

To the Editor of The Tribune,
Sir: Who in politics would be so fair
and yet so bold as to propose a tax
on illuminating gas and electricity to
raise money for the bonus? These
flow silently and usefully into dwell
ing and business places, into which
also come bonus-mad newspapers, and
where people are who cannot have
omobiles, nor yet are interested in
the transfer of stocks and bonds.
gift from the nation to its cx-
soldiers should be paid by most of
Its people and should be levied on
necessaries ii it is to be test of will
ingness to pay. Most of the agita
tion for the bonus would cease if the
people whose vote politicians seek
could consciously share tho pinch Of
the shoe.
l do not believe in the giving of
bonus to ex-service men in general.
1t makes me think of the story of the
woman who thought her charge ac-
counts in two stores were too large.
so she opened accounts in seven. The
pro-bonus arguments are equally
absurd, and I think that if tax on
gas and electricity were proposed by
some one in authority the people
could be trusted to see the light.
EQUITY.
Brooklyn, Feb. 12, 1922.
New-York tribune., 1922-02-15

district, but there is no doubt that
indirectly they are to some extent
responsible.
Reputable firms, for example, &C.
cept orders from houses which
they know to be disreputable
Men known to be buckctshop pro-
rrietors and suspected, ct least, OF
being crooked are countenanced by
members of firms whose own stand
ards are high. There is far too much
tolerance among brokers of shady
institutions and shady individuals.
Thus far no law has succeeded in
abolishing the bucketshop. Wall
Street men have often sought such
g law. They have complained bit
serly that the natural prejudice
against the bucketshop has injured
honest and necessary institutions.
Yet they continue upon friendly
terms with the very men Of whom
tncV complain.
1t every brokerage firm whose
transactions are bona tide and whose
methods are honorable would treat
the bucketshop men as outsasts.
refusing either to trade with them
or to tolerate them, the |" .<etshop
evil would be very largely mitigated
The honest brokers are right who
say they suffer for the sins Of
swindiers and sharpers. They can
co great deal toward ending these
suferings by driving the thieves
from their neighborhood and giving
q warm welcome to rules that ef-
fectively protect legitimate invest
crs and spectators.
New-York tribune., 1922-02-15
Brooklyn, Feb. IL. 1922.
Sproul and MacNider
TO the Editor of The Tribune.

10 the Editor OF The Tribune.
Sir: 1t is refreshing to see that, de-
spite the cynictsm which regards all
men in public life as self-seekers. We
can still boast few such as Governor
Sproul of Pennsylvania and Colonel
MacNider, of the American Legion, who
place their self-respect above their
political ambitions.
Tho honorable self-denial Of these
men, for the excellent motives evident
In both cases, will lift them to higher
pinnacle Of public esteem than would
have been the case If they had fol-
lowed the line Of least resistance and
accepted Senatorial honors under con-
ditions which only persons of the
highest type Of public morality would
have recognized as improper.
JAMES F. MORTON Jr.
New York, Feb. IL, 1922.