davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Palisadian., 1922-11-18
at Was This"

that these were known as advertise
praised some special article.
LAS | said the other day, Mr.. Moon
has no substitutes. I've seen that on
signboards about other things.
"And l explained, or you explained.
Fairy Queen, what substitutes meaut.
Perhaps you will explain today?"
GLADLY" said the Fairy Queen,
"though l may not do it as>well as you
could Mr.. Moon."
"Oh. most gracious Fairy Queen" "
said Mr.. Moon. "I'm delighted at the
compliment. but I am willing to let
you do the explaining"
"A substitute is something put In
the place of another" the Fairy Queen
began.
"Now, If l were asked to go to a
party and | sent~a substitute, it would
mean l would be sending some one in
my place. Isn't that right, Mr.. Moon?'
"Fine, fine" said Mr.. Moon.
"Well to continue" he added, ~
think Mr.. Sun and l shall give air
advertisements and write our signs on
the clouds. l shall put on mine:
"'Accept no substitutes for Mr.. Moon.
There is nothing the same. Money re-
turned if not satisfactory, and if any
has been given. Insist upon Mr.. Moons
shining. and none other
"And shall have one, too," said
Mr.. Sun. Mine shall be:
"'Others have tried 10 shine, but they
cannot shine as Mr.. Sun. There will
always be those who will initiate him
and try to be as bright.
but accept only the real Mr.. SUM-
He has stood the test of ages
Fine. fine" said the Fairy Queen
"The only thing is" said Mr.. Moon,
'that we wouldn't want to disfgure
the clouds by putting signs on them.
and we really have no rivals"
That's true" said Mr.. Sun, land l
think it would be pity to put signs
on the clouds. We want some of
Mother Nature never to be touched by
signs and advertisements"
81 think that is best" said the Fairy
Queen, but you could have a fine air
advertisement if it weren't for that
However, Mr.. Sun and Mr.. Moon
are among the few creatures who don't
need to advertise" ended the Fairy
Queen.
Palisadian., 1922-11-18
PRESCRIPTION FOR LONG LIFE
According to This German Physician,
1t Is Easy to Add to Ones Years
of Usefulness.

The gathering of centerarians whirh
took place the other day rccHlle,l tbe
case Of the elnine-lt GerbElb piiNsirisR,
Doctor Fisclweiler, " Via died recently
at the age nf one fhndrrd and pine.
He often declared that re ,,ess,'ssc3
an infallible rule for securing lonGev-
ity. which he would reveal ~ the
world in his will. Upon his tieath,
then, this formula was disclosed:
Put your bed, orientihg it hy means
of compass. so that yup ain have
your head placed north. and lie in "a
horizontal position. Sleep sot,ily with
closed fists"
This is the whole secret. This posi-
ton 1t is asserted. brings the batfy in
communicates witt, thu great t+lfurian
currents coming fAum the l.nrth ana
instros an extremely happy blood .'ir-
culatiOL.
Palisadian., 1922-11-18
AM Makes Old Waists Like New
nV u Putnam FadeIess Dyes-dyes or tnts you wish
Milk for the Baby.

Two-year-old Betty had always used
a special brand baby milk but recent
ly has been drinking very little, pre-
ferring the more solid foods. Al the
dinner table a few days ago it became
the subject of discussion and it was
decided to discontinue the special
milk when Phyllis, six years old, who
had been listening with interest. in
CURED: Daddy. where do they get
milk for babies? Is that calfs milk 2"
They Often Do.
"rhere's a fellow who has nothing
TO do" 'Well." "And he gets very
tired of the job"
Palisadian., 1922-11-18
ANYTHING TO BE OBLiGlNG
Was Nothing to This Applicant for
American Citizenship.

At each hearing where applications
of foreign-born persons seeking citi-
zenship in the United States are con-
sidered and passed on, incidents come
up which add humor to the otherwise
serious process. At a recent hearing
before Judge W. w. Thornton IF the
Superior court, Room l, George
Mackay, United States naturalization
officer, was quiZzing an applicant re-
garding his knowledge of the inner
workings of the government and re-
garding the history of the United
States.
who was the first President of the
United States?" he asked.
"Washington, d. c." replied ihe
anxious applicant.
"Just leave off the d, c. said Mr..
Mackay
"Oh, | don't care said the applicant
nOnchalantly, with an accompanying
gesture of his hand. - Washington
Star.
Palisadian., 1922-11-18

AIR ADVERTISEMENTS

"Well." said the Fairy Queen, there
Is only one item sent in to the Nature
land News this time, and that is from
Tad. the Black Cat"
what is that?" asked the other
Fairies.
Tad" said the Fairy Queen, "senl
In an announcement and asked us if
we'd please publish it as he would be
glad to have as many see it as pos
sible"
what was the announcement? the
other Fairies asked.
1T was this" said the Fairy queen,
as she took forth piece of paper
upon which in strange sprawling words
was written :
Tad, the Black Cat. is giving an AT
Home Tuesday Evening in the Alley.
at is his second birthday. All those
who wish to bring him birthday pres
ents may care for his list of sugges-
tions, which is as follows:
mice, Milk, Cream, Sausage, Liver,
and all other delicacies.
Ribbons he does not care for"
The Fairies all laughed after they
had read this. No one but Fairy
could have read such strange writing
as Tad wrote!
II believe Mr. Sun and Mr.. Moon
want to talk to us this afternoon.
They're both to be in the sky at the
same time, you know, today, and they
have something most especially i'm
portant they want to tell US"
At that moment the Fairy Queen
looked up and there she saw Mr.. Moon
smiling. Mr.. Sun, of course, was shin,
Ing brightly.
She had been waiting to see Mr..
Moon.
"You had something to say to us to-
day." she asked.
"Ah, yes, Fairy Queen said Mr..
Moon. "Now you know I've looked
down at signboards and I've seen big
signs. I've been told by Midgie Moon
Palisadian., 1922-11-18
AnQels Failed to Show.

Mamma" called three-year-old
Edith from the top of the stairs. won't
you please come up and sit with me
until l. 60 to sleep?'
mo. darling. Mammals busy now,"
angels will watch over you until you
60 to Sleep"
THAT'S what you said before, man.
ma" Edith answered, "but the angels
didn't show up and I'm lonesome"
Palisadian., 1922-11-18
Important to Mothers
Thinking Him Gone.

l had notified my landlady that
was to be absent from my room for a
couple Of nights. Later l changed my
2 Il. III.
The county fair was on, and three of
the andlady's nieces had come in from
the country to visit her, and she
placed all three in my room
My embarrassment, also that of the
nieces, occurred when 1 entered my
room. The ensuing screams We're
enough to arouse the entire police de-
partment.-Chicago Tribune.
Palisadian., 1922-11-18
Cheap Material.

Your honor, when we were mar
ried my wife said l was her soul
mate"
Yet, there she stands, charging you
with nonsupport."
Il do" spoke up the wife. 81 soon
discovered that he had marked
down soul, and it was no bargain,
either. r."-Birmingham Age-Herald.
Palisadian., 1922-11-18
Cuticura for Sore Hands.

Soak hands on retiring in the hot suds
of Cuticura Soap. dry and rub in Gu
Ointment with tissue paper. This is
only one Of the things Cuticura will do
II Soap, Ointment and Talcum are used
for all toilet urposes.-Advertisem
Palisadian., 1922-11-18

He who is equipped with patience
and perseverance is equipped for
work.
Palisadian., 1922-11-18
Defined.

Defined
Knicker-W ould you say Smith is n
liar?
Radio Fan-WeIl I'd ralI him two
Stage amplifier.
Palisadian., 1922-11-18

Granulated Eyeids. Sites. Infamed Eyes
relieved overnight by Roman Eye Balsam
One trial proves its merit. Advertisement,
Palisadian., 1922-11-18

If all flesh is grass men ought to he
less shy of lawn mowers.
Palisadian., 1922-11-18

A bad man is far less dangerous
than cunning one.
The Yale expositor., 1922-07-13
MARKETS
v. s. BUREAU OF MARKETS
Washington. .. c.

(For the week ending July g. 1929
Grain
Wheat prices declined early in week
on improved crop outlook because OF fav-
Minneapolis July wheat showed pro-
nounced weakness and led decline. Corn
had independent strength with leading
tbe Week on ssyag side fS
dropped l Lee Chicago. September
corn advanced 1c. On the sixth the
undertone Of the market was weak. but
prices rallied at close. Favorable wealth
er conditions continue the most import
ant factors affecting the market. Ex
port demand restricted by weakness in
continental exchange.
Closing prices in Chicago cash mar
bet; No. red winter. wheat 81 LIE; No;
hard winter wheat $1l6 No. mixed
corn csc; No. yellow corn 65c; No. 3
white oats soc.
Average farm prices: No. 2 mixed
corn In central Iowa about SIC; No. 2
hard winter wheat in central Kansas 9Tc.
Closing future prices: Chicago Sep
tember wheat $l.l4 IL; Chicago Septem-
wheat s1.2s IL: Kansas CITY CITY sePteinBer
wheat .O7 Ia; Winnipeg October wheat
Sl.l9 "a.
Dairy Products
Butter markets unsettled during the
week and irregular at close. High price
levels reached during the export demand
was Of influence were not maintained
Closing prices, ~ score butter New
lork 81 &c; Chicago 80 lie; Philadel-
Feed
Market inactive. Country buying very
light. Wheat feeds and high protein
feeds in ample supply. Prices most feeds
unchanged; Corn feeds weaker. Alfalfa
mea! offerings large, demand limited.
Stocks and movement generally good
SO Kansas city; $1675 Chicago. MIDI
Brown shorts, sl6.50 Kansas City; S19
St Louis. Yellow hominy $23 Chicago;
gluten feed $2sS5 Chicago
Fruits and Vegetables
Potato prices advanced generally dur
ing the week, but declined slightly in
Chicago under heavy arrivals North
SarCAna cobblers up 25c to soc per bar
rel most cities.
down 81 per crate, New York: down Csc
10 Doc most other markets; Bellies up Csc
Philadelphia, slightly weaker at shipping
points.
California cantaloupes weaker: down
DOC 10 f5c per standard crate In consum-
ing centers. Georgia pink meats flats
nearly steady.
Summer apple markets weaker; job
ping sales most cities down 81 per
Live Stock and Meats
Chicago hog prices dropped Sc to 20c
during the week. Beef steers Zoe to Csc
25c higher; veal calves Csc 10 soc higher
and feeder steers practically unchanged.
July six Chicago prices: Hogs, top,
and good beef steers, $S.25@9s5 butcher
COWS and heifers, $4qS.75; feeder steers
$3.50 q: 10; light and medium weight
veal calves, S75Q925: fat lambs, sl2.75
Hl4. Feeding lambs $11.5OM12.60: year
hngs. S9Wl2; fat ewes, S4.50@76O
Stocker and feeder shipments from ~
important markets during the week end
ing June 80 were: Cattle and calves
50,b2b; hogs 6,3S5; sheep 25,94l
For the week eastern wholesale fresh
meat prices show advances on all class
es except pork loins. Lamb firm TO 81
higher, mutton firm to 81 higher: veal
firm TO SO higher beef $1@2 higher.
while pork loins ranged from weak 80.
lower per 100 pounds on July G beef
and veal practically steady. Mutton ..i,..
pork loins steady to 81 higher.
The Yale expositor., 1922-07-13
DETROIT QUOTATIONS
d and Grain


WHEAT-Cash No 2 red. $l1S; Sep
TENDER H,i7; No white and No. 2
YELLOW CoRN-Cash No. 2. CSC; No.
3, 66 1-2c; No. A, csc; No. 5, 63c
WHITE OATS-Cash No 2 ACC asked;
No. 3. 4Oc; No. L. SO 12a3S l-2c.
RYE-Cash No 2, S9c.
BEANS-lmmediate and prompt ship
ment. g. per cwt
SEEDs-Prime. red clover, Sl3 alsike.
81 80; timothy, 1926
HAY-No. ] timothy, S20m21; stand
ard. $1,000. light mixed. $1,000: No 2
timothy, $1SW1g; No. / clover mixed
$l6q17; No. l clover, $15@16; rye straw
$1,000 20 To- wheat and oat straw SAG
.FEED-Bran, $685. standard middlings.
S2S' hne middlngs, $50; cracked corn
S2s 5Od 80; coarse cornmeal, $27; chop
$24 per ton in 100-lb. sacks.
FLOUR-Fancy spring wheat patents
$S.1509.25; fancy winter wheat patents
Sd5gS.20; second winter wheat patents
Q6.9O; Kansas patents, $S@S.25 per Dbl
Live Stock and Poultry.
CATTLE-Best heavy steers, dry fed
$s.50d9.50; best handy weight butcher
steers. $SGS.s5; mixed steers and heif-
@S sSeay ,5 ght butchers Stsf sSs9
6; butcher cows, $S,5O@4.5O; cutters.
$3.50 $50; Gamers. So 50@3 choice light
bulls bulls, ,s5jgI5 g bologna bulls; s4:5oa475;
$40@7c.
CALVES-Best. $40: others. S5@9.
SHEEP AND LAMBS-Best lambs S13
Ml350; fair lambs $10G12 light to com
mon lambs. SOLO; yearlings, S5@10: fair
TO good sheep, $5@6; culls and common
S1Q2; heavy sheep $3@3.50.
HOGS-Mixed hogs and pigs, SLIPS;
extreme heavy. $40; roughs, $3.50: stays
$5.50@5.75: boars. 49,
LIVE POULTRY-Broilers, 2-lb and
up. 36G3Sc leghorns and small broilers.
30M32c; large fat hens, csc; medium
hens, 24@25c; small hens, 21c; old roost-
ers. l5c; geese, 13c; ducks, 22@23c: tur-
keys, 30c per H.
Farm and Garden Produce
RASPBERRIES-Blac 81 per bu. !;
RED URRANTs-Common. s2.5Oas;
cherry $3.bOm4 per 24-uuart case.
ERRlES-$3. 50d3.75 per 16-
quart case.
CHERRIES-Home grown, sour. SAC
4bO per 24-quart case; sweet, S2.75G3
per 16-uuart case.
APPLES-New, $2.506275.
Neutrality-suspicious. 6067Sc per ID
ONIONS-New Texas S27bG3 per
crate; onions In 100-lb. sacks. $3.75m4
TATOES-Michigan. $3.5o13.75 per
150-lb. sack
HoNEY-Comb, 2O@22c per ID.
Butter and Eggs.
BUTTER-Best creamery, in tubs. "a
d3i 1-2c per ID.
EGGS-Fresh current receipts. 23@
24c; fresh candled and graded, 24G24 &c
per doz.
The Yale expositor., 1922-07-13
The Young Mother.

THE ILLS INFANTS CHILDREN should well
youngest of mothers that reminder repetition of the illness
unnecessary yet there mothers who overlook eVe condition,
little co disposition be irritable not corrected they may lead
serious sickness And correct hm bring Baby back to its happy SELF
by the of Cas medicine prepared just for infants and children
will regulate the bowels force m aid digestion and bring quiet and rest
Ftche COa has been doing this for 30 years. regulating the
stomach and bowels ofnnts and children 1t has replaced the nauseat Castor
OIL so-cad Soothing Sps poisonous Pegoc and other vicious Concocon
the homes true and honest mothers mothers who love their children
Those mothers will their babies foods and medicines especially prepared
for md
The Yale expositor., 1922-07-13
In Fear and Trembling.

One Afternoon l was taking a party
of friends to theater in town from
our home In suburb. My fiance had
kindly insisted upon my nking his
Communication ticket TO pay the fare.
Neither of us noticed the words Not
transferable" at the top. When the
conductor came In l handed him the
ticket.
Fixing me with glare he exploded,
"Are you Albert NJ. Curran?"
With fear and trembling / had to
explain to him the whole situation,
fearing all the while that he would put
us all off at the next station and
had not enough money 10 pay our way
back. Finally, most unwillingly. he
permitted us to ride on the ticket
Chicago Tribune.
The Yale expositor., 1922-07-13
Offer land to Aaed Travellers.

Columbus, O.-Offer of a 6O-acre
tract of land. 25 miles north of Wins
ton-Salem, N. c., for the purpose Of
erecting a home for aged and infirm
commercial travellers, was made to
the supreme council of the United
Commercial Travellers here by r. j..
Donahoe, Of West Virginia, acting for
the heirs Of ]. G.. Ties. wealthy South
Carolinian, who died recently. The
matter Of acceptance will rest with a
committee, which will report later in
the week.
The Yale expositor., 1922-07-13
No Peace for Umpire Anywhere.

The umpire called him out at the
plate.
Immediately 10000 fans rose from
their seats and began hurting pop bot
ties and cushions at him.
"Robber! Thief !" they shouted,
and chased him from the lot. That
evening by the side streets he man
aged to reach home safely in time for
his dinner. He sat down at the table,
and his little wife said:
"Bill, | was at the game this after
noon, and you certainly were rotten.
That man was safe by a mile"
The Yale expositor., 1922-07-13

strong and can do every bit of my work
and not pain in my back now. rec
ommend your medicine and you can use
this letter as a testimonial. = Mrs.
PHIL. MAsER, 801 Winslow St., st. Paul.
MINI.
Just another case where a woman
found relief by taking Lydia E. Pink
hams Vegetable Compound. Many
times these tired, WORKOUT feelings and
pains about the Sb body a are y from troubles
pound is especially adapted for just this
condition. The good results are noted by
the disagreeable symptoms passing
away-one after another.
Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound is Woman's Medicine for Wo-
mems Ailments. Always reliable.
The Yale expositor., 1922-07-13

Clreu, WORKOUT Ieel-
ing and painful peri
DDS: l used to get up
with a pain in my
head and pains in my
lowerparts andback.
Often l was not able
to do my work. l
read in your little
book about Lydia E.
Pinkham's Vege-
table Compound and
/ have taken it. ]
faaI 40 nall apd
The Yale expositor., 1922-07-13
DEKelllggs
Asthma
Remedy

for the prompt relief of Asthma and
Hay Fever. Aek your druggist for II.
% oente and one dollar. Write for
FREE SAMPLE.
NOrthrOp & lyman Co., Inc, Buffalo, NY.
The Yale expositor., 1922-07-13
Cents

The trouble about looking up to
people is that II encourages them to
look down upon us.
The Yale expositor., 1922-07-13
"Triangle Stuff"
s a pathetic story"

"Here's a pathetic story"
"WellT
"a chorus girl in reduced circum-
stances was forced TO take employ
ment as nurse maid with million
aires family"
"Umph! That's not so pathetic.
Homes have been broken up that
way."-Birmingham Age-Herald.
The Yale expositor., 1922-07-13
Gas, Buffalo Live Stock

East Buffalo. July 6.-Dunning & Stew
ems report-Cattle: Receipts, cars;
steady. Hogs: Receipts. Is cars; steady:
heavy. $l1@1125; workers. and pigs.
S11.50 Sheep: Receipts. / car; steady.
top lambs, $3.50; yearlings, SS6D1O:
wethers, $7d7.5O; ewes. $4,000. Calves.
The Yale expositor., 1922-07-13
Gives Cheerful New Color Tone to Old Curtains


Some women aren't SO very pretty
simply because they know how pretty
they are.
The Yale expositor., 1922-07-13

There are happily constituted pep
pie who don't care whether they ex-
press their opinions or not.
The Yale expositor., 1922-07-13

Even when man does have great
ness thrust upon him he really thjpSs
that be achieved 1t.
The Yale expositor., 1922-07-13

A man "has 10 believe something,
you know" The confidence man Is
ooking for that kind.
The Yale expositor., 1922-07-13

The person who is always ION pins
and needles" usually is plu-head.-
Forbes Magazine IN. W.
The Yale expositor., 1922-07-13
WOMAN COULD
NOT WORK
Made Strong and Well by
Lydia E. Pinkham's Veg
etable Compound
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.

st. Paul, MINI. -'T took Lydia z.
Pinkham's Vegetable Compound for q
The Yale expositor., 1922-07-13
Very Particular.

Hotel Clerk-"Will you want a
nrivate bath? Waybrook-"Yest I
don't fancy those swimming pools."-
Judge.
The Yale expositor., 1922-07-13

The Calhoun county board OF super
visors has appropriated SO 900 to Grad
icate tuberculosis among cattle in the
county and a vigorous campaign is to
be wage1 against the disease.
The Yale expositor., 1922-07-13
Michigan
Happenings
lIlIIIIllIIIHlnIIIHIllIlllIITlIIIIHIIIHHIIlI

Venice park. pretty little summering
district, on Lake Orion, soon will be
connected with the mainland with a
substantial road, suitable for motor
traffic which the popular park war
rents. In years past, boats were used
for transportation, and, as the popu-
lation grew, it became an inconveni-
ence. Petition after petition, sent to
the Orion council for installation Of
lights and construction of road were
followed only by the supplying OF
lights. Blasting for the road was
started. but the work was allowed to
lapse, until the agitation again was
started this year with success.
The Yale expositor., 1922-07-13

The first high class fancy Swiss
cheese ever made in Michigan is being
sampled at the NJ. A. c. dairy build.
ing at East Lansing. The cheese was
made five months ago.
The Yale expositor., 1922-07-13

To express his keen regret concern
ing the resignation of Dean Mary e.
Sweeny, head Of the division OF home
economics of Michigan Agricultural
college. President David Friday has
characterized her leaving as the
greatest loss to the college suffered
during my administration"
The Yale expositor., 1922-07-13

The University of Michigan's hope
of establishing a two-year course in
aeronautics as part of the r. o. T. c.
work offered at Ann Arbor was blast
ed by word from the headquarters Of
the Sixth Army corps, Chicago, de-
claring that it would not be possible
this year. The regents granted a pc
tition which requested the course. at
their last meeting.
The Yale expositor., 1922-07-13

Although he had only l6 days more
OF his probationary period to serve,
Charles Enders. 2S years old, Of Grand
Rapids. has been returned TO the
state reformatory lat Ionia. because
he is said to have stolen watch from
a restaurant proprietor. Enders was
paroled from the reformatory after
having served some time on lar
ceny charge.
The Yale expositor., 1922-07-13

The assessed valuation OF Owosso
was increased from $10,300,000 to
more than S12,OOO,OOO by the equal
lzation. adopted by the Shiawassee
county board OF supervisors. The
valuation OF the county was increas-
ed only 100000 At the same time
valuation of Corunna was increased
from N$383,620 to $1.142,644.
The Yale expositor., 1922-07-13

An allotment of 1,250,OOO pounds Of
war salvaged picric acid has been
awarded Michigan for land-clearing
purposes.
The Yale expositor., 1922-07-13

So rapidly are bounty orders on
rats, hawks, woodchucks and other
obnoxious birds and animals coming
IN 10 the Lenawee county treasurer,
the latter has been given permission
ny the board of supervisors to borrow
SIC, 900 II necessary to meet the OBJ
legations
The Yale expositor., 1922-07-13

Miss Gladys Mccarthy, a student
at the Michigan State Normal Col
lege. Ypsilanti employed during the
summer as a life guard at the Mus
kegon municipal bathing beach. saved
two girls from drowning there. One
girl. seized with cramps. grabbed her
companion and both went down in Is
feet of water Miss Mccarthy. an
expert swimmer, dived and brought
up both girls and swan with them to
shore.
The Yale expositor., 1922-07-13

Twelve million dollars has been
sliced from Oakland county's valua-
ton by the equalization board. The
new valuation is 1921, 9O1.477. OF this
Sos. Sos, 563 is real estate, and SlS,-
631,912 is personal property. Last
years valuation was $139,613,0S1.
The Yale expositor., 1922-07-13

After an hours battle with two bis
chicken hawks in a marsh south OF
Battle Creek, Mr. and Mrs. John
Fleming, OF that city, were forced to
run for their lives. They were both
injured.
The Yale expositor., 1922-07-13

Two army planes are to be station
ed at Camp Custer for duty with the
land units in working out combat
problems.
The Yale expositor., 1922-07-13

Decision was reached by the board
OF supervisors OF Genesee county to
make county prisoners work on the
roads July 6. at which time the coun-
tvs contract with the Detroit house
OF correction, for caring for short
term prisoners, expired. Hereafter
prisoners sentenced from So to 80
days will be sent to the county jail.
These formerly were sentenced to
Detroit
The Yale expositor., 1922-07-13

Will Davis, SO years old a Negro
laborer. of Monroe, was arrested by
Sheriff Gessner, charged with having
stabbed Whitbee Bernard, % years
old, another Negro, with a knife
through the right chest. The ARRAY
was a result OF a quarrel at moon
shine party, it is alleged. Small
hopes are held for Bernard's recovery.