The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1922-05-27
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| LIKE CHARrTY-ASD IT'S GRANITE
| PROT0TYPEg-TT COVERS
| MULTITUDE OF SINS
"A Tale of Two Cities"

On either SnOre OF IHe great nlSAlydPoy
river which formed the boundary line between
the provinces of Imonmaway and k1lhng1oys,
situate in that wondrous country, Lanootna1ree.
sat two cities The city in the province OF
Imonmaway was called Dinkyport; that one In
KilIingjoys was known Adamant Island
Dinkyport looked down upon Adamant
! Island Not that its Altitude was Greater, but
that it's Balloon of Ambition was constantly
filled with the gas of Big Aspirations ana us
inhabitants viewed Adamant Island as Munlc-
tipal Corpse which long since should have been
Inferred. Still, Dinkyport seemed constantly
to fear that the Corpse across the r1Ver was
not Entirely Dead; that, in fact, instead OF
being a Corpse it was Mild Disease which,
through some Devilsh Miracle, might grow
into Epidemic
Adamant Island however was Modest Vii
lage. 1t admitted the Numerical superiority
of Dinkyport and conceded readily that the
/ Imonmaway city had a right to boast OF Big
ger Business Section. 1t rather leaned toward
the idea of being the Modest but VivaclouS
Twin Sister to the Bumptious Big Brother.
But as far as Brotherly Love went, in the opin-
ion of Dinkyport it had been buried with
William Penn.
Back in the days of Floyd Dell and Brick
Pavilion Dinkyport achieved Dark and Shady
Past which some of its Best Citizens still re-
called with a sort of Secret Pride tinged with
a modicum of Raw Regret; facts, however,
which were never referred to by the Town
Crer.
Whenever Adamant Island showed even
faint signs of life Dinkyport stratghtway stood
upon its Tail, waggled its Hind Legs and
Squealed with Alarm, whereupon Adamant Is
land would curl up and simulate death once
more.
But came a day when Adamant Island
awoke and stubbornly refused to go back to
sleep again. Dinkyport stood upon its Tail till
it was sore, waggled its Hind Legs till they
we're weak and Squealed till its throat grew
Furry, but all to no avail. The Municipal
Corpse refused to return to its Comatose Con-
clifton. Instead it arranged to have Thousands
of Persons from many other provinces in
Landothafree come and Partake of its Hospi-
tality.
Then did the Countenance of Dinkyport turn
to a Sickly Yellow and its eyes gave forth
Green Fire. Dinkyport was Jealous, with a
Capital J. and straightway proceeded to Vent
its Jealousy by Divers EndeaVors of Question
able Hue to Gum the Works and Glom the
Glory
Its success in that Ubiquitous Endeavor was,
in manner of speaking. Negligible.
As our tale ends Dinkyport is trying its
Damnedest to Commit Citycide; and Adamant
Island true to her Traditional Policy of Well
wishing. is ready to Congratulate her Bump
tious Big Brother
KANSAS Democracy seems anxious to wed
Mr.. McAdoo. "McAdooII do in 1924, it is
shouting. But has Kansas Democracy asked
father-in-law's consent to this union?
There's Nothing They Won't Do for Man
When He's Dead
found by "A Worker in The August
The church will be taken to Chicago
and funeral services will be held Sat
urday.
TAKE it from Mr.. Gary the bonus question
is not yet ripe for determination" The Judge
must be thinking of Secretary Mellon, who
gives forth a dull green thud when he is
thumped by q service man.
Well agree with Judge Gary, however, that
the bonus question is not ripe. It's rotten.
SUPPLICATION.
1t may be that you're right, you say, SEE I,
About letting know if 1 cease to get by,
And, in spite of my heartbroken tears and
signs,
am sure 1 would not have it otherwise;
But, Mac, please be lenient, have pity, condole,
Be compassionate, touched, be humane-oh
my soul!
Forbear and give quarter and lift not your
Against me in wrath or severity-and
May my brainpan grow pinfeathers, swansdown
and fuZZ
Before that time arrive-if it ever does!
, If you ever. should have to chastise me
'Twould unspeakably torture the chastisee
And I'll mighty nigh work till the bench is
broke,
In an effort to merit them kind words you
spoke,
Till it freezes in \(you know, and the sun
turns to mold
And the widely known sands of the desert grow
cold;
For my spirit would falter, grow timid and
| meek.
And my heart would be broken, detected and
weak
II such thing should be, has been, is, or wuz-
May that time never come-if it ever does,
May the laurels eer rest on my round, pink
brow,
May you ne'er love me less, Mac than you do
now
May not be dissolved in maud-line tears
II my high resolve fails me in coming yearsi
May both you and St Peter be moved to saw
Pass in, me poor fellah",-an' hope an prav
may never encounter your be1licose ewes.
Dear Mac, when you fail to exhume prize
OF lie Moqueurs construction-oh, nv dear
SUI,
May it come with Gabes TRIUMPH it ever does,
P. St
But time-what is it? C'est a gas meter
lUgoes faster and faster each day, and when
you waste you pay for Though not in the
same place, je vous Passure!
LIE MOO.
WALTER Ward, son of the millionaire
baker, has been arrested on a charge of killing
a former navy man. How inconsistent He
should have slain former doughboy
Incidentally. may we refer the Ward family
to Act l, Sc. l, line 100, THE Tanning of the
Shrew"9 - N