davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1922-12-01

Well, Well, WeIl!-He was q benev-
olent but sighted old gentleman,
and, anyway, he had never studied up
on feminine styles. She was a fair
haired mite of girl he had encounter
ed.
"Ah," he calculated, such sweet
face! And whose little girl might you
be?"
"Well. grandpop," she replied, "if
you've got enough kale to make it in
teresting, l might be yours"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1922-12-01

All Too often.-"What really does
happen when the irresistible force
meets the immovable body?" inquired
the Youth Who Yearned after Knowl-
edge
well, it's been my experience that
the glass usually breaks" replied the
Gloomy Traveller, who had spent many
golden moments struggling with the
refractory windows of pullmans, troll
leys, and ferryboats.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1922-12-01
Friday, December /, 1922.

for life At IL O'clock Wednesday
morning those condemned to death
were duly executed only their near
relatives being allowed to see them
before their death. British Minister
Lindley left Athens Wednesday night
in protest of the action of the revolu-
tionary committee. The first secretary
of the British legation remains in
charge of British affairs here.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1922-12-01

Tne Ailment.-It was just after the
armistice when discipline had been re-
laxed to certain extent that big
colored soldier reported at sick call as
being unfit to drill. Pressed for rea-
sons, he explained that he had danced
all night and that he was physically
fini.
Feet sore?" inquired the medico
sergeant sympathetically.
"Nossuh," retorted the buck, "tain't
dem. But nah shoulders hurt an All
KANT tote no gun"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1922-12-01

No Wonder.-Father was annoyed.
His expensive gold watch had failed
him. 1t wouldn't go at all.
81 can't think what's the matter"
he complained. Maybe it needs clean
ing"
"Oh, no, daddy" objected 4-year- old
Henry. Cause baby and l had it in
the bathroom washing it all day yes
terday."
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1922-12-01

Suspect 3d.-The general manager
entered the superintendent office
mysteriously.
THAT new assistant to the superin-
tendent," he said, reports every morn
ing on time, works hard all day, at
tends strictly to business and is the
last to leave at night.
The president turned white and
trembled.
"l, is as I suspected" he exclaim-
ed. "A detective"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1922-12-01
Breakfast Foods in the Pie Belt.

Breakfast Foods in the Pie Belt
what kinds of breakfast food have
you?" the dyspeptic inquired of the
waitress at the Klinkerville Inn, who
stood before him with her arms
akimbo.
We've got all the reg'lar kinds" "
said the waitress, who was a Klinker-
Vile girl. ham an eggs, steak, brook
trout, doughnuts an apple pie. You
can have 'em all, if you like, an cup
O. coTee an griddle cakes. We calcu-
late to charge enough so folks can eat
all they want"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1922-12-01

Watkins said in part; Il regard the
bootlcgger in many respects as the in
ferior Of the thief. You not only take
the money of persons to whom you sell
liquor but you poison their character"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1922-12-01

Not So Good.-Perfectly Well Mean-
ing Old Lady: THANK you so much
for your song, my dear. 1t took me
back to my childhood days on my
fathers farm, and when I shut my eyes
and listened TO your singing ! seemed
to hear the dear old gate creaking in
the wind"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1922-12-01

The Rev. Jesse +. Pittman, for
merly pastor of the Baptist church at
Blackstock in Chester county but for
some time pastor of the Baptist chm ch
at Lockhart, has resigned. 1t is un-
derstood that he has several attractive
calls under consideration.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1922-12-01

Epoch Making.-Teacher: Willie,
what great change occurred during the
World War;"
Willie: Pop bought Nav a new
washbOard."
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1922-12-01

HeIp!-A Florida paper says the
moonlight in that state is so bright
that the owls are dying Of insomnia
Saskatoon star.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1922-12-01

Getting Rid of the Evidence.-Judge
why did you stick your knife in
this man."
Prisoner-"Well, l heard the police
coming and l had to hide it some
where"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1922-12-01

Miss Carmel Hallmeyer is head Of
the legal department of the Burley To-
bacco Growers association.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1922-12-01

Women are barred from becoming
members Of the police force in Indian
apolis.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1922-12-01
Mr.. Oates Pounded.

Columbia State, Thursday: The con-
gregation of the Associate Reformed
Presbyterian church called upon their
rastor, the Rev. j. L. Oates, and Mrs.
Oates at the manse in Shandon yester-
day evening from 6 to 9 o'clock and
gave them a Thanksgiving pounding"
The pantry shelves were filled to ca
pacity with all manner of good things,
both substantial and treats, and the
overflow was piled temptingly upon the
floor. The Rev. Mr.. and Mrs. Oates
were completely surprised by the af-
fair, which was given as an expression
of cordiality and good will towards the
new pastor and his popular wife. The
informal reception proved delightful
feature of the occasion.
Chester Lost to Shelby.
Shelby high school closed a success
full football season at Shelby, yester-
day by winning over Chester highs,
runners-up in the'South Carolina high
school championship race, by score
of IL to G. The game was featured by
wonderful defensive work Of both
teams. Shelby got the jump on their
South Carolina opponents and scored
one touchdown in three minutes OF
play. From then on the game was
evenly matched, both teams making
first downs only occasionally. Collins
made Chester's only touchdown on a
25-yard run. Over 1000 people saw
the game which was interesting
throughout. Citizens of Shelby gave
banquet to the Shelby and Chester
teams last night at the home Of Mr..
and Mrs. E. L. Webb, on Fallston road.
Game Resulted in Tie.
A football game played between
Rock Hill and Gaffney in Rock Hill
yesterday afternoon to eliminate one
of the teams for the upper state
championship resulted in tie, II to
II. Gaffney had outplayed and out
fought Rock Hill until Bill Steele got
away with an S0-yard run for Rock
Hills second touchdown in the last
few minutes Of play. Gaffney going
into the game with the odds against
them and with but small hope of vic
tory, rushed the heavy Rock Hill line
off of It's feet. They played an Of
fensc that Rock Hill found hard to
fathom and scored two touchdowns on
straight driving attacks down the field,
mixed with two forward passes. If It
had not been for the getaway of Bill
Steele who has played a wonderful
game for the Bear Cats" all season,
there is no question but what Gaffney
would have completely eliminated
Rock Hill Now the two teams must
play it all over again. A large crowd
of football enthusiasts saw the game.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1922-12-01
Two Stills Captured.

Prohibition officers operating in
York and Kings Mountain townships
on Wednesday and yesterday captured
two distilleries. On the Willis farm on
Fishing Creek Wednesday complete
still together with barrel of beer was
taken. The raiding officers were State
Constable H. L. Johnson and Magls-
trate Black and Constable Lee. A Co.
gallon still complete with the worm
and $50 gallons of beer was taken on
the jim Harmon place in Kings Noun
tain township yesterday. warrant
was sworn out for NJ A. Wallace and
his bond was fixed by Magistrate Love
at $500.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1922-12-01
LOCAL LACONICS
Continued from Page Four.)

twenty minutes later. Under this ar
rahgement passengers and mail from
the North will arrive in Rock Hill in
time to make connection with the Ma
rion & Kingville passenger train
No. IS.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1922-12-01
102d Mill for CASTOR.

Plans for the construction of Sec
ond cotton mill with a capacity OF 15,-
600 spindles by the Groves interests
was announced at Gastonia, Wednes-
day. The new mill will make the lo2nd
for CASTOR county. 1t will manufac-
ture fine combed yarns. The new pro-
ject will be erected on site adjoining
the present Groves institution. Con-
tracts will be let at an early date. Of
fcers of the Groves mills are H. II.
Groves, president and treasurer; E. E.
Groves, secretary. and a. G. Mangum,
vice president.
The Washington times., 1922-11-20
CRACKLINGS
By Dave Sentner.

-HE next step is otconfis-
cate babies for using
Il bottles.
A kitchen stove is the bonfire
where love gets its fingers burned.
what's the idea IN keeping so
many cops around police stations2
Nobody ever wants to break in.
The divorce cuorts are settling
tbe question as to whether wom-
ans place is in the home-of this
man or that man.
It's about time folks stopped
cracking jokes about Brooklyn,
since there's n runor out that
Works tours have taken 1t off
their list.
We backed the cowgirl down
At Madison Square Garden to
clean up the jungle. Swinging n
clothesline IL a woman's party.
A football game to some won.
on is n place where thousands OF
spectators throw their voices
around, while twenty-five men
run UP and down to sc which
aide is yelling the wickedest.
The Washington times., 1922-11-20
MIR. Hickey
on Girls
BY Frank A. Parker.

~ ATRlCK HENRY HICKEY
was pacing the floor In
- his library up on the ave-
hue. lie apparently came t.
sudden decision. walked over by
the door and touched a button.
In moment the butler APP
peared.
"Did you ring. sir?" the butler
inquired.
Il did that" Mr.. Hickey re-
piied. I'm needin' some one to
talk to, an you're il, Perkins.
There amt no way to get things
straight like talkin them out TO
some one that's willln' to listen.
The missus won't do. Perkins, be-
cause she always wants TO do
most o. the talkin' herself. Fe.
males is like that. Perkins
That's right" Mr.. Hickey re-
piled after the butler had seated
himself Now III begin. It's
Lizzie I'm worryin' about, Per-
kins. You never havin' had no
female daughter won't under
stand, but it's no matter. Lizzie's
down to school gettin' the fin
ishin' touches put on r educa'
ton, an she amt doin' as well
rs could be expected, as the doc
tors say when you're about 10
shuttle off without no great help
from them. She's backward, Per-
kins.
Mebbe it's the school teachers
that's at fault, / don't know.
She's a fine girl, is Lizzie, but
she has her faults. being human
an female besides. Here she's
been down to that school for
weeks an she amt learned TO
smoke cigarettes. or play bridge.
or make home brew, or none or
them up.to-date things young
ladies of the present generation
has got to know II they're goin'
to get anywhere In society.
"Of course, Perkins, I'm a bit
old-fashioned myself. I'd prefer
Lizzie'd take to the pipe, like my
gran'mother used to. settin' COM
Portable beside the kitchen stove
Of an evenin' when I was a boy.
The pipes grand institution,
Perkins, an | wouldn't trade nine
for a whole box o. cigars. But
the trouble is, Perkins, the pipe
amt never got into polite society,
I'm so I got to bring Lizzie up
on cigarettes.
Don't you think, sir. begging
your pardon, sir. the ladies are
going a bit too far nowadays
Perkins inquired. apologetically.
They're always goin' too far.
Perkins" Mr.. Hickey replied. AT
least, you an me think so. But
there amt no livin' man can stop
'em. an 1t amt for me to ruin
my peace O. mind tryin'."
The Washington times., 1922-11-20
IN WHEWTOPIA
BY Les COnklin.

~ INK BUTTS was the most
bashful person on earth
IL He was so bashful that
he was afraid of his sister.
When Dink lived in Whew-
topia he never combed his hair
because he was too bashful TO
look at himself in the mirror.
The girls weres wrong when
they called Dink a woman hater
He liked them. but in the same
way that he liked to look at
firecracker-from a distance.
Dink didn't like cigars. ciga-
rettes or pipes, but he always
rode in the smoker just TO get
away from the girls. II one OF
them sat in the smoking car he
would ride in the locomotive.
Dink was so bashfu, that he
wouldn't call girl by her first
name.
He would rather go to q fu.
neral than attend a dance.
When the girls started wear
ing short skirts. Dink wore cog
giles. When they put on socks.
he stayed in his room all day
long.
Dink never rode in a Pullman
car because he was afraid that
some night he might make
mistake and climb into the
wrong berth.
One night In a subway jam a
girl tainted in Dink's arms. He
dropped her on the platform and
ran off to look for a policeman.
Dink was so bashfui that he
wouldn't look at the pictures OF
the girls In the bathing suit ad.
vertisements.
The Washington times., 1922-11-20
Laffs in the
News

A PHILADELPHIA woman
~ discovered a tramp In her
u chimney, showing how re-
markable II Is where some women
will go TO find a man.
President Harding says he IA.
vors a big Coal Commission. The
coal dealers are getting a pretty
big commission as It is.
The trouble with spending a
summer In the big. open places is
that most OF them are in the
mosquito netting.
One London girl was so strong
that she lifted 1000 pounds out
OF q mans pocketbook.
It took 12O years to build
Noah's Ark. and 1t takes almost
as long to build home In the
suburbs.
A new York minister married
forty persons in forty minutes.
proving p. T. Barnum's assertion
that there's one married every
minute.
Steamship officials report thai
there's nothing doing in the
Green Star line. Not much doing
in the Green River line either,
A cabaret dancer is wearing a
costume of sixty beads. Most OF
them are beads of perspiration.
English barons are going TO
court to explain matters Of State
to the King. American coal
barons should be sent 10 court TO
explain equally important mat
tiers to the public.
Woman searches for husband
who deserted her with dog
News item. That fellow can say
his wife's bounding him alright.
Lady Astor in London speech
before woman's congress says she
represents a symbol. And most
husbands will recognize the sym
Dol as the dollar sign.
The Washington times., 1922-11-20
WHAT'S WRONG?

<<r'M glad your son has
~ bought a saxophone,' said
the next door neighbor who
has been suffering with insomnia
Tor many years.
mo, really detcst publicity
said the film star, because since
everybody's getting it it's become
quite vulgar"
After the landlord raised the
rent fifty per cent. the tenants
IN the house pooled together and
saye him a banquet.
Surveying herself In the mir
ror. the debutante felt certain
that the Isle hose that graced
her pretty feet would make the
men sit UP and take notice.
Not a sound was heard until
the Judge said thirty days."
vhereupon the pleased prisoner
rushed UP and shook his hand.
Il am the unhappiest person
IN the world" said the bride.
ehokingly as she stepped to the
altar. because everything is run
ming smoothly so far"
There is only one way to sue
need In business" said the editor
AZ n business magazine, and that
In to be dishonest"
The Washington times., 1922-11-20
WE'LL SAY so!
BY O. u. Knutt.

BY u. u. knutt.
-vERY man has favoritc
joke he springs on HIS
IL friend and we have
sneaking suspicion it's his wife.
As much as the Anti-Saloon
League has tried , eliminate
them. the hic(k)s still are every.
where In evidence.
Talk is cheap, they say, but
have ,ou ever tried to hold
conversation with your wife over
the long distance telephonsf
Iowa reports bumper corn
crop, but you can't prove It by
the women out there. 1hey
never show their ears.
Some movie stars are made
over night, a writer declares.
Now II some we've seen would
be made over night into clerks
we'd feel q whole lot better to.
ward going to see movie.
An Indian chief who died left
the governor ot Western State
his ten squawr. Guess the fel.
lows who had ambitions to s
governor 81 that state a the
future will have 70 D. tnn,est
With . tce. M, sui,. - esac,ins
The Washington times., 1922-11-20

~ INK BUTTS was the most
bashful person on earth.
. He was so bashful that
he was afraid of his sister.
The Washington times., 1922-11-20

Lady Astor in London speech
before woman's congress says she
represents a symbol. And mos
husbands will recognize the sym
Dol as the dollar sign.
The Washington times., 1922-11-20
'Simpossible.

How. writes u perplcxed young
Columbus man. can ! have faith
ip a dictionary that lists saxo
ubone as a musical instrument?
The Washington times., 1922-11-20

Woman searches for husband
who deserted her with dog
News item. That fellow can say
his wife's bounding him alright.
The Washington times., 1922-11-20

Dink was so bashful that h'
wouldn't look at the pictures o'
the girls In the bathing suit ad
vertisem ents.
The Washington times., 1922-11-20

Steamship officials report thai
there's nothing doing in the
Green Star line. Not much doing
in the Green River line either.
The Washington times., 1922-11-20

When Dink lived in Whew-
topia he never combed his hair
because he was too bashful to
look at himself in the mirror.
The Washington times., 1922-11-20

A cabaret dancer il wearing
costume of sixty beads. Most OF
them are beads of perspiration.
The Washington times., 1922-11-20

<<-'M glad your son has
- bought a saxophone," said
the next door neighbor who
The Washington times., 1922-11-20

One night In a subway jam
girl tainted in Dink's arms. He
dropped her on the platform and
ran off to look for a policeman.
The Washington times., 1922-11-20

A new York minister married
forty persons in forty minutes.
proving p. T. Barnum's assertion
that there's ono married every
minute.
The Coconino sun., 1922-09-22
COLONEL HANSON BELIEVES
 SILENCE IS GOLDEN

Col. E. M. Lamson, president of tke Lamson Business College of Phoenix, which has a reputation for thorough ness second to no other institution of the kind in the country, writes The Sun that he is glad to report "that we have more inquiries about our school from northern Arizona than ever before" Then he hands us a facetious compliment, as per:
 "We do not suppose that running an advertisement in The Coconino Sun has anything to do with it, as people simply advertise to support the pa- per; however, we think when our present course runs out, we will im- mediately begin advertising with you for the winter term which will open Monday, November 9th. We can then say something in our advertisements about the wonderful climate of the Salt River Valley, subject upon which we are absolutely silent at the present time"
The Coconino sun., 1922-09-22
NO TRACE YET OF UTAH MAN LOST ON WAY HOME; SHERIFF THINKS HIM DEAD

Sheriff Billy Campbell believes that Tanner, the thirty-year-old former soldier who disappeared in the unset tied country northeast of Dead Mans Flat, two weeks ago, is dead.
 Campbell, Deputy Sheriff Billy Rudd, Walter J. Stevenson and an In- dian trailer from Cameron, hunted out in that country nearly all of last week until Saturday night, but could get no clew to the whereabouts of the man. Campbell is still hunting.
 Tanner came on his horse from Es- calante, Utah, where his home is, about three weeks ago, crossing the Colorado river at Lees Ferry. He worked for Young at Cameron for a couple of days. He said he had been in two of the biggest battles of the last war, but could not tell what regi- ment he was with nor names of the ships he went over and back on. Then he came on to Doney Park and work ed for a short time for F. w. Mcclure, then for Claude Knight. The mans
The Coconino sun., 1922-09-22
IF WE HAD THE ROCKS WE HAVE THE ASPHALT
 TO PAVE OUR STREETS

Charlie Thomas of The Sun staff discovers a mine every few days. He recently sold the one he had down near Prescott and since then has been putting in his Sundays annexing a few new ones.
 A few weeks ago he staked claims on a manganese, gold and silver mine not far from Flagstaff. He claims it contains all three of those things.
 But a few days ago he found an- other mine not far from Dead Mans Flat, on which he has filed location and this time even the uninitiated can see he's got something. It contains potassium nitrate and asphalt At least Charlie says it contains the first named animal, and he proved it con- tained asphalt. for it looked like it, smelled like it, and when heat was applied, liquefied and proved to be asphalt. He says there's any quan- tity of it there and the next thing is to break up the asphalt trust.
The Coconino sun., 1922-09-22
NEW FORDS AT BABBITT'S
 ARE OF THE NEW TYPE

Many added conveniences and re- finements are to be seen in the Ford enclosed cars now being displayed at Babbitt Bros. Garage, Flagstaff.
 The interior of both the coupe and the sedan is finished in walnut brown broadcloth, and the seats are uphol- stered with similar material thread ed with chalked ebony-stripe. Heavy floor rugs give an added touch of comfort Lifts, of a special design, minimize the effort of raising or low ering the windows Door bumpers in- sure tighter fitting, and new door grips, both inside and out, add con venience.
 The demand for Ford enclosed cars has been unusually high during the past two months. Although production has been speeded up in the factory, sales continue to exceed the output, making it necessary for purchasers in many parts of the country to wait for their cars. Local dealers say this is why they have been urging customers to place their orders as early as pos sible.
The Coconino sun., 1922-09-22

carelessness around the barn with cig- arettes scared Knight, who decided he'd better be examined to see wheth- CT he was insane. But Tanner refus- ed to see doctor and left the Knight ranch to ride back to Utah.
 Deputy Rudd met Tanner a few minutes afterward. He talked sanely and said he would have no trouble getting back home. Then, about four days later, his horse showed up at the Simpson ranch, Dead Mans Flat, without a rider. There was blood on the saddle horn, which Dr. Felix Man ming says is human blood.
 The officers found tree near Az tee Tank, on the old Tuba City road, where the horse had been tied with the reins for some time, then had bro- ken loose and gone back to Dead Mans Flat. But they could find no trace of the rider. There had been a storm during the time the horse was tied to the tree, which washed away the mans tracks.
 Tanner was a large, full-blooded, smooth-faced man, sandy complexion ed, and wore blue bib overalls, blue shirt, big white hat, and canvas rubber-soled shoes, He said he was nephew of Joe Tanner, for merly of Tuba City, now of Farming ton, N. M., and that he himself was
The Coconino sun., 1922-09-22
HARRY GRAY NOT RUNNING

Harry Grey of Bellemont came to town Monday and handed in his res- ignation to the county board of su- pervisors as candidate for county clerk of court on the republican tic ket. Someone wrote Harry's name in, which constituted nomination, and he bowed up. Some of the others whose names were handed in, if they do not do likewise, will find themselves out in the current, without oars and bound for the election breakers be- yond all hope of rescue. The person whose name is written in the most number of times for an office for which the party has no name printed for nomination is himself nominated. So watch out.
The Coconino sun., 1922-09-22

born at Tuba City and lived there un- til he was five years old. He has mony other relatives in this state.
 Campbell believes the man must be dead. He doubts there having been any foul play. It may be that the man, demented, tied the horse and then wandered away and got lost, but the more reasonable theory is that the horse broke away from the tree where he had tied it and left him afoot. The tremendous distances out there be- tween places where either water or food can be obtained, makes it almost certain that Tanner has been dead for several days. In that case it may be months or even years before his re- mains are found.