Atlanta tri-weekly journal. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1920-19??, 1922-09-16

No. Take the wheels off the family
flivver and set them up in the most cramped
sections of the house. Distribute a num-
Der of spare tires to the members of the
household when the chilli Of evening sets
in, and let each member change a tire.
Have as little light as possible. Best re-
suits will be obtained if you have none
at all.
See that no person has a wrench that is
any good and that there is nothing family
resembling a tire tool, pair of pliers, or
hammer. Announce, as head Of the family,
something like this:
''Now dear wife and Riddles, as another
day has passed without sign of fuel, and
as the prospect of freezing to death makes
it incumbent upon us to devise ways and
means of providing warmth, we will proceed
to hold our nightly tire-changing exercises.
Mommer will kindly work on the wheel di-
rectly between the piano and bookcase;
you, Milton, will take the wheel over there
behind the Victrola, and you, Ethel, will
take the one in the southeast corner OF the
kitchenette beside the ice chest./ l will
work on one I have attached to an axle in
the bathroom. All set? Let's go!"
The family should be comfortably warm
inside of fifteen minutes, uncomfortably
warm inside of an hour and hotter than
the detours of Hades as the work pro-
crosses.
BY requiring each person to change
tire with nothing more suitable than knife
and fork the entire family may be kept in
state of prickly heat throughout an eve
ming.
No. BUY a pair Of riding boots for
yourself and for each member of your fam
lily. Put them on as soon as the night be-
gins to get unbearably cold. Then retire
to a room without any chairs in it and try
to get the darned things off, This will
tbo h1oOd1pGc in high
states of perspiration for hours.
No. 3-Try getting into your evening
clothes unassisted. This is ideal for any
male member of the household. Start by
trying to find your dress clothes without
asking the wife where she hung them; try
to find a stiff shirt and buttons In dark
ened boudoir; proceed to harness yourself
without calling for assistance, and make
it a. point to put on your tie and collar
without the aid of a mirror. This will put
YOU in condition where you will abhor
coal in all forms. Your language will warm
the other members of the family.
No. 4-Hanging the pictures. There will
be no excuse for any person to suffer from
any lack of heat in any home where there
are pictures. Immediately after dinner call
the family together and assign to each men,
Der the task of rehanging certain pictures,
the use of step-ladders being barred. After
about thirty minutes they will be crying
for ice water and fans.
No. 5-Getting the wrinkle out OF carpet
under the piano. Ideal for a man and wife
on the coolest winter nights in the worst
of heatless flats The wife should crawl
under the piano on her hands and
knees. and, using her back bridge, lift
the piano a few inches off the floor. The
husband should try smoothing out the car
pet while she has the piano raised. He Will
then discover that, although the piano is OFF
the carpet, the wife is on it, thus preventing
any movement of the carpet This will lead
to words and second, third, fourth fifth and
sixth attempts You will be surprised TO
see, how warm you both will feel. If there
is more than one piano in the house so much
the better.
No. 6-Keep a COW. Animals throw OH
a great amount of heat This is part1cu-
larly true of COWS. You may have noticed
that a. cowbarn in winter is always quite
warm if the COWS are there. This also Is
true of livery stable. If you never have
freouented cowbarns or livery stables take
our word for these assertions. Hence, dur
ing heatless nights, every family man should
take home a cow, or better yet, couple of
cows In homes of seven rooms or over
there is no reason why four or. five COWS
should not be used.
OF course. COWS vary. Some radiate
ting the right COW and of adapting her to
your rooms. When the family retres for
the night they should all go to bed in the
same room and herd the COWS near the
chiffonier. If this is done there will be