davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1922-05-14
From Here and There

was thrown open to questions BY
the audience.
Said the presiding officer, "Now.
Is there any woman here who
would like TO ask any question:
Don't hesitate to ask any question
at all about any phase Of the
woman question"
For . few moments there was
silence. Then a woman arose and
asked, MAY / ask any question
at all7"
Certainly" said the speaker
persuasively. -What question
would you like to ask7"
"Well," said the woman, 'T'd like
to know how you got that smooth
effect over your hips"
The Washington times., 1922-05-14
The Dippy Dictionary-By Joy Sutherland
Russia
Russia

entirely surrounded
II By suspicion. At time nation, nearer
between the Golden Rule
is urademocatc which every
oue right to stand
ID supposed to have the
anything left to do but hunt his
Russia melancholy
literature while its imports made
eisens from other whiske
the Soviet Congress striking to the
ground door Of a factory.
The Russian docne peaceful long his
shirt remains outside his trousers
the attitude and takes in he begins yelling something other
he and the Lord alone know
But whoever be starving million soldiers
whose somachs do not have the
Judge By the pictorial
orut human skeletons for the sideshowa
However all Russia divided pars-Lenns Tro.kys
and with revolution morning afternoon
those two kept busy prohibition
And at that half OF world know
Ing anything about It, The the
when they able vhut being
isolated In the an wards
The Washington times., 1922-05-14
The Lion Tanners Lament

THE LION tanner was brave. a. lion
tanners usually are. Yet he had
his weaknesses. For one thing. he
lived In mortal dread Of bronchitis.
One day, after he had entered q
cage containing two brown bears
and a panther. he shook his head
sravely as he came out.
"This Is going to end badly for
me one Of these days." he said.
solemnly. to q man who stood near!
"Of course, there Is Away the
danger that these ferocious beasts
will devour you," said the man,
alphabetically.
"The animals!" the lion tanner
exclaimed. "Good heavensl You
don't think I'm afraid Of themi IT'S
these confounded cages. They are
such dreadful places for draughtsl"
The Washington times., 1922-05-14

thing Of the kind. The bottles look
so pretty on the sideboard that I
Just filled them halfway with some
floor stain and furniture polish. Just
for appearance"
That's why I'm cautioning you,
sister," replied the Deacon. Feel
Ing trifle faint, / helped myself to
. dose from the big bottle In the
middle
The Washington times., 1922-05-14
Jared the Judge.

A VOLUBLE but h.less counsel
was addressing the Jury in q
running down" case in London. In
impassioned accents he contrasted
the position of his poor client with
that of the affluent bus company.
Gentlemen" he said, this 40
oident to my clients little 'orse will
ruin I'm! The plaintiffs all Is in
Is little 'orsel"
The Judge, upon whose sensitive
ear these constant and unaspirated
illusions had grated all through the
hearing. could restrain himself no
longer.
Don't you think, Mr.. Blank he
intertected In mild reproof, shat
at this stage VI the case We might
refer to It as-a ponyf"
arsss Britain Rishts Asssrrsd
The Washington times., 1922-05-14
Twas No Mistake.

tSVoU'vE made . mistake IN your
paper" said the indignant
man. entering the editorial sano-
tum. Il was one Of the competitors
at the athletic match yesterday
and you called me the 'well-known
lightweight champion" H
well, aren't your" said the
editor.
mo, I'm nothing OF the kind;
and it's oonfoundedly awkward. be-
cause. you see, I'm . coal mer-
chant"
The Washington times., 1922-05-14
Are You Troubled
by Spooks?

10 Increase IN the spcok bust
noes since Or. Conan Doyi.
came ever from England and
hroueht bis trained troupe with
aim FOR sxAioition purposes.
Hverybody looking behind sofas
and under beds and keeping out Of
6ark corners
Every man VINO has Q private
Dook no matter how long forgot
Can. has dragged him out. busted
him on and started talking with
him again.
Air b nried with tambourine
music. spooks never play any
musical instrument but .tambou-
sina This country now sounds like
enc large Salvation Army.
How does . Hawaiian spook get
along II not allowed to play q
ukulelef What does . slide-trom-
bonist do for entertainment when
In the other lief How does q vio-
linist keep from going crazy from
nerves?
spooks also ring bells when not
playing tambs. old-time Swiss
bell-ringers must now be having q
large time.
Chief athletic exercise Of spooks
IN turning over furniture and
smashing It mp. They always
smash mp somebody elses furni.
ture. which shows good business
sense.
They are also going In for anna
teur photography. Most Of the
photographs look half-baked. II
Fifth avenue photographer took
such . picture Of . society favor
II, he would be shot at sunrise.
Spook photos are all double-expos-
ure. Single exposure Is more than
most people can stand.
Conan Doyle spooks tell rs there
II no hell. This is great disappoint-
ment to lot of literal people who
don't care about spending eternity
with the gang OF crape-hangers who
say they are going above.
They also tell US we will have
bodies exactly similar to those we
have on earth. A lot Of homely
guys will have no inducement to
30. What has bow.legged guy
with a wart on his nose and COW.
lick have to look forward to? What
incentive is there for him to be
good?
spooks are now butting in on the
radio messages. Time for some
body to butt in and make the mes
sages interesting. Average radio
programme 10 as full of pep as
mummy Of Rameses II.
Only ghost that makes q real hit
around here is the one that walks
on Saturday afternoon. Everybody
believes in him,
The Washington times., 1922-05-14
Pare Mr.. Anderson.

UCIsTER HENDERSON," said
- Deacon Hyphers severely,
you should avoid even the appear
ance Of evil,-
"Why, Deacon, what do you
meant" asked Sister Henderson,
II observed that on your side
board you have several cut-giass
decanters and that each OF them Is
half filed with what appears to be
ardent spirits"
'Well, now, Deacon, It isn't any.
Eesyright lsli, ey star On
The Washington times., 1922-05-14
Little Stories of
The Big White Way
Why Gsrtie Quit shs
Chorus

~ ERTIn of the chorus may
r have only weighed III
- pounds In her working
clothes. but she was no mental
lightweight She was . disciple.
90 far ~ advertising went, Of the
man who coined the phrase, at
pays to ADVERTISE A pony Of en-.
tremely nns lines, with . pair OF
calves that would have taken the
blue in any poultry show-oh. no!
were not mixing up natural his
tory; calves are an important ex-
hibit In the kind Of poultry show
we mean-shs didn't believe in hid.
Ing her light under . bushel. al
though she was known to get fire.
quently lit mp on . quart Our lit.
tie Gertie cane from mining stock
she was Q wonderful gold digger.
And never without . grub-staks.
Oh, yes. the chorus II the best lit
tie engineering school In the world.
Gertis was there in several ways.
Knowing Gertis. you can imagine
the shock It gave Broadway. II you
can imagine Broadway being
shocked since old John Barieycorn
pulled . wsldorf-Astor. to hear
that our heroine had disappeared
from paintpot alley. She knew No
bankers, she cared nousht tor
yachting. and still--Man," they
asked Of each other. what has ~
come Of little Gertisf"
Broadway never knew, but here's
the real low-down on Il. Gertis
quit because her heart was broken.
Can . chorus girl have . broken
hearth Oh. yes. Ask any Judge
and hsl tell you %. How was
Gsrtie's heart broken, and Why
didn't she try to collect for doc
tors billsf Read On, gentle reader.
read on.
Gertis had . John On whom. she
thought she had . crush. Nay, Q
veritsbls strsngis hold. A bachs-
lor with lots Of the makings for
Palm Beach and Newport, he. Ger.
tie thought, was worth taking home
to Mama. She began to think
about orange blossoms. rice and
wedding bells. Previously, the
only bells Gertis ever thought
about were dumbbells and the one
On her alarm clock.
So. Il was only natural that Ger.
tie. having properly worked her
cues and worked her John. should
be deliciously ecstatic when he
sprung the following on her:
"Gertie." he sighed. like q sick
calf, Il have long felt the need of .
woman In my life. As time passes
the need becomes more and more
acute"
Gertie was all atremble. She
knew. positively now, that she
loved him. Good.by Broadway for
her.
"Could you.' hs continued.
could you tell me where I can ind
IN sble-bodied woman to do my
Then Gertis picked mp the pieces
and went home 10 Dunkvills and
The Washington times., 1922-05-14
Perhaps It Was.

UCAY, parson." said Elder Berry,
- at the church board meeting.
here are the designations Of all of
the qusrtette choir"
my, my" said DR.. Fourthly IN
distress, whats the trouble7"
"Your announcement Sunday
morning" replied Elder Berry
sternly, you know you said,
Providence having seen at 10 AZ
dict all our choir with bad colds,
let us Join in singing "Praise God
from Whom All Blessings Flowi"'"
The Washington times., 1922-05-14
Very Simple.

UMY dear" said Mrs. Snaggs to
AVA her husband. what is .
canardf"
Don't you know what Q canard
isi" queried snaggs rather sneer
ingly. why. the word itself con-
veys its own meaning"
Does TT Well. really, I can't
see It. What does It mean. dearf"
why. . canard 10 something one
canardly believe, Of coursel"
"oh. to be surei Why couldn't
think Of that"
The Washington times., 1922-05-14
L Struck Him Rich.

uuE always tries to see the
"a bright Nside."
whats happenedi"
"He was run down by an auto
mobile yesterday and almost killed,
yet the first thing he said when he
regained consciousness was Gee
whist after fifteen years I've got q
chance to cash In on an accident
policy"
The Washington times., 1922-05-14
About Life.

m SOMETIMES wonder II life is
= worth living" mused the pes
simist.
Tt is," replied the optimist. 'Tt
10 worth living much better than
most Of us live IT,"
The Washington times., 1922-05-14

A Bootlegger Tells This.
0THoSE fakirs can't make spirits
= appear"
Maybe not; but you ought to
see how they can make spirits
disappearI"
The Washington times., 1922-05-14

A Very Pertinent Question.
A SUFFRAGE meeting was draw.
"A ing to q close. The speeches
ad all bssR made sRd ths meeting
The Washington times., 1922-05-14
Real Hate.

THE oPTIMIST--I hear Brown.
= smith Is going TO be married.
The Pessimist-Serves him right.
Z nsyss did Like that tsllog.
The Washington times., 1922-05-14

Sesyright ls,i. by star On
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1922-09-22
MASONRY ~ f.ois

Aeru-.--E . . sss-szs-t .1ss iz-
s-s.1 F-se=1s1z-T + E-i-isa Ida :
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t-s s-r1ssirrt1- c - C-zzI L1trs
q E-Esz-s- 5lrs5=z - a. trczs.
5s-zz1. g.. Bs-tzF. E-- B--z. -
Wzsrzz - ard Pzz.zh = Il add
t,o1 t1s-s A. = 1os-ss hcl1s-E char-
ssrs E-u-- rhs Grad Lr.5rs C Scot :
izzt zr5 II Ezss- ths G-zrz Lo1rs
& Trslz-S Ezr,zEz & also rsr---
E.-.ss eT sEst fo1xss = Ceyio- az
l-sssz5 y rro. zl-szste : t1tzI q
80 ac5-ss. AZ q vhsrz have tssz
.1Es1sz slz<s .1ss
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1922-09-22

-es-e was sc-s tIl ,s-lr-s ~
u. M.sscu-. ct-ells TtET tr-rf-
tk1s sISes, 80 wcuis es s--i.s-s-i
&C rrcr3e As--s tsr = &cr
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rscsssa-Y A tc.al cs itstsa s,a rs
has eeec .l~. 1z3 tss sl5 - -
wifl r-svlss h---lsss ts- cav ia- ss
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1922-09-22

T1s Ecvs---srs I'll s-7srVise
r-z1i-E Il Gal tz-szr-s- E-czss-
s1c2 C1s-ztn-s a-1 rEs-F NH -s-
I'll - rsz.-zz-e1 f-o- tzt-r Il
t----=s u-ser = b-i s-ss tT H1rs-
Ing Ter-<1ay.
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1922-09-22

r. = lies. IeAz rSxfs- A.
Bsr S1aE1z = S.-lEzser 1r@ 1zEts
1r-ess. sA1rar1 w..A cczg2-1sF =
IL -.<s.-s = wafer NarAews a.
.s--F
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1922-09-22
wsscszv sEs7oaED

Ar-s-- $ Temples 71ts-- T15-
s1z Ks-wr-thv a-E Csz--- Lhzs -s-
s7s-.lTeiT Erz-t r-Asts- zsrreskrF a-t
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1922-09-22
Masonic Neu's Notes


A good c.ts- : ~ 1,rlrs va
SIC t-- .--s Mrs.z e auzys Z
ro-s c.sz
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1922-09-22

10. z Heaccz H.A-kFss So esd
r.--- P.s-ssrs ses Cre1Z CO kss7-
U-Ntas 9z1 ne C1rtstla L41 IS
---s SaE1 = -
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1922-09-22

lee cscee vsr-k-erz I--s-. sass
r--niT lars 1-s az -set seca1fs
sssr s-c11r1gs .Gr=F-s q. s--T ce.ser
s-s@
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1922-09-22

ca=9esl E-ssr &, s,s ,,--c-1-
tg- cc--'ss-- h1s ss.srs. ) ts-,s- g
ssa,s Wa-s1 itr.s-ar sAsz III .-
sgrg,-s W1..ez
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1922-09-22

N-s = Crr hts rs----sE 70
TaEues t,ss- Eis. 6. N-s t,l Il
r-E
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1922-09-22

Il tie hsz-s Ts.o o-Es- ve,s- g
szs.a.. Hl-tl-g ara Elr-sls aEl.rs;-
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1922-09-22

Mrs zer fils-e 1-5 YRS = r
Care wers Ear Ts--1-s .-c- M-el--
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1922-09-22

Vc-sF bal seat--s g IL FAR.
711rs.4E. -ss ssA-v s-isEs4
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1922-09-22

Tc-crrsE. S1ezr11y ~ - ~
last 1ay & Nz-se's SPsxAl sale.
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1922-09-22

Pc s--s 20 80 ea- ss7aay g, ssA,y
uatE-ess~s -St-1s F'-r-i--rs CO
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1922-09-22

Ms Eas E-zv hIs -s.z--s5 .'
N-rs1- 1sssr G1.trs AE
The New York herald., 1922-08-20
SAYS HARDING IDEA
Is MONKEY WRENCH
Continued from First Page.

wrong in ascribing the incidents TO
deliberate conspiracy.
II think the President was wrong
when he says It was a conspiracy" he
continued. my information is that the
locomotives and the whole trains were
In such miserable condition that the
lives ct those on board and not or the
operating forces alone were imperilled." !"
He characterized as ''mischievous
untruth" the suggestion in the Presi-
dents speech that the rail and coal
strikes were part of one huge plot
against industry and against the Gov
ernment.
1T is a mischievous untruth." he de-
clared, "I know the men al the head OF
both organizations. the United Mine
Workers and the railroad employees
department of the American Federation
of Labor. and the various unions whose
membership is involved AS far as these
men are concerned it is criminal libel
to make such an allegation at this time"
Discussing the recommendation for
legislation to protect aliens who may
fail to get protection from State govern
ments and on account of which interna-
tional complications threaten TO arise.
Mr.. Gompers declared with every sign
of fnalty that organized labor was
bound to fight the proposal, which he
interpreted as a maneuver whereby the
Government would be enabled at all
times to protect alien strikebreakers.
mo one can regard the Herrin
The New York herald., 1922-08-20
SUGGESTS u. S. CARE
FOR IDLE WAR PLANTS
Vauclain Urges OUners Aided
in Keeping Buildings Ready.

WASHINGTON. Aug. 19.-Suggestions
that Government aiC be extended to In
dustrial establishments created during
the world war to furnish munitions an;
other materials v'ps made to-day 60
Secretary Weeks by Samuel vauclai.;,
president of the baldwin LocoT otiva ,
Works.
Mr.. Vauclain was understood to have
informed the War Secretary that there
were number OF war born establish
ments which represent millions of dol
lars and which have no peace time uss.
Their maintenance In idleness, II was
said. was heavy tax upon the owners.
who did not want them destroyed be
cause OF the tremendous cost OF builS-
ing In war time and which. If future
emergencies aros,. would save expend'-
ture for rebuilding.
Secretary Weeks explained that Mr..
Vauclain did not ask help for the Bald
win company, but for another indrstrisi !
enterprise he was connected with In the
capacity OF director. The chief CT
ordnance, Mr.. Weeks said. has been IT,
structed to make an investigation Of all
large war plants which have no place In
the peace time life of the nation.
The Secretary said the question II
providing Federal care for these estab
OF Congressional Aerial Daredevils."
action
The New York herald., 1922-08-20

OF Herrin. We grant that justice has
failed thus far--failed utterly and un-
pardonably--but we OF Illinois do not
intend that this failure OF justice shall
remain a blot on the nation. The cit
liens OF Illinois intend that the guilty
shall be apprehended and punished. or
that full responsibility for non-enforce-
ment OF the law be placed upon the
heads OF those who control public senti-
ment. and administration OF justice In
Williamson county.
THE Illinois Chamber OF Commerce
Is raising a fund for investigation|and
and will make certain that
any effort humanity possible is put
forth TO remove this blot from our State.
Our Attorney-General has volunteered
&c do all in his power to bring the guilty
to justice. provided sufficient funds are
furnished him for his undertaking. We
propose to furnish him with the neces-
sary funds. The business men of Illi-
nois are confident that in this under
taking they have your sympathy and
The New York herald., 1922-08-20
BITUMINOUS OUTPUT
LESS THAN LAST WEEK
Production About 5000, 900
Tons BeIoU Normal.

WASH INGToN. Aug. 10. - Bituminous
coal production for the present week
was estimated to-day at about 100000
tons by the Geological Survey. There
were 4.576.000 tops mined last week.
Final returns, the survey stated. show
production OF all coal last week as
1906, 900 tons, including $4,000 OF
anthracite. Considering anthracite and
bituminous coal as a common source OF
supply, the survey declared, the present
weekly output is 100000 or 100000
tons below normal. due to the strike.
II is too carly, the survey asserted,
70 learn the immediate effect upon coal
production of the agreement signed at
Cleveland between mine workers and
bituminous operators, for while mines
long closed by the strike are reopening
there has been a recurrence of acute
railroad disability In certain of the non
union and open shop fields Car loadings
on Thursday, totalng 13.463 cars. the
survey declared gave the first indica-
tion OF shipments from the mines re-
opened under the Cleveland agreement.
cars
Lake shipments. the survey continued.
Increased markedly during the week
ended August 10 over the preceding
week. total OF 149,4S9 tons being
dumped at Lake Erie ports, against
a2.747 In the week preceding.
The reserve of coal on the commercial
docks at the head of Lake Superior de-
creased sharply during July. whereas 1t
normally increases at this season.
The New York herald., 1922-08-20
HARDING INFORMED
ILLINOIS Is LOYAL
State Chamber of Commerce
Will See That Herrin Crime
Is Fully Avenged.

Special Dispatch TO THE NEW YoRK HmALp.
CHICAGO, Aug. 1s.-The reply OF Illi-
nois. made through it's commercial In
terests and business men to the implied
charge by President Harding In his
speech before the joint session OF Can
gress, that the State has condoned the
non-enforcement of the laws In the mine
massacre at Herrin. was sent to the
White House late tonight.
In telegram TO the President, the Illi-
nois Chamber of Commerce outlined the
campaign now being waged for a fund
TO detect and punish the murders and
of the support pledged by its 102 af-
filissed organizations throughout the
State with a membership exceeding more
than $4,000.
The telegram, signed by John H. Cam
lin, president OF the Chamber OF Com
merce, follows:
1.-THE Illinois CnanIoer OF Commerce,
representing 102 chambers of commerce
throughout Illinois. including over 81 900
business men. notes that the conviction
that lawlessness In Illinois Is to go un-
punished and unchecked has become so
firmly ixed that the President of the
United States expressed that conviction
as a part Of his message to Congress on
the industrial situation to-day.
you, Mr. President, state justice in
Illinois has failed and there would al
ways be a blot on the nation because
The New York herald., 1922-08-20
HOOVER ASKS STATE
FUEL BOARDS TO ACT
Says They Must Move Ener-
getically to Protect Public
From Unfair Prices.
Special Disnctch to THE NEw YoRK HERALD.
New York Herald Bureau.

Special Disnctch to THE New YoRK HERALD.
New York Hernld Bureau.
Washington, ID. c.. Aug. 10.
State authorities acting through agen-
cies esta blished by the Governors must act
Immediately to protect the public against
unfair mine and resale prices Of coal
pending legislation by Congress. Secre-
tary Hoover declared tonight. The
Federal Governments attitude on the
present duty of the Governors of States
was outlined by Mr.. Hoover in letter
to Gov. H. L. Davis of Ohio.
The letter explained that the proposed
legislation for price restraint will be
limited to interstate coal movements.
Coal mines now operating in Ohio
under the Cleveland agreement are de-
manding from 81 to $40 ton for coal.
Mr.. Hoover said. Ohio public utilities.
faced with demand for higher prices.
have appealed to the Government for
priority orders for Southern coal selling
at $3.50 ton at the mines. Mr. Hoover
advised Gov. Davis II would not be just
to coal consumers of other States In
view OF the additional supplies in Ohio, to
Issue the priority orders for coal to come
from outside Ohio. s
He suggested that i'm any fair price
arrangement which may be effected In
able margins to overcome the cost of
, reopening the mines. But even t.fs
generous treatment of the operators. Mr.
Hoover said. will be an enormous saving
to the public over prices now being
quoted by the Ohio mines. s.t q
Mr.. Hoover's letter said: "I cannot
too strongly urge that II the people OF
Ohio and surrounding States are to be
protected there should be. secured a
voluntary arrangement with the neces-
sary committees to enforce II under the
direction of your fuel committee by
which some fair maximum price Is fixed
and similar voluntary arrangement and
enforcement is set up in respect to
wholesale and retail handling of coal
The Federal fuel distributor will glad,
cooperate in making available such pres
sure as exists under priorities."
Federal Fuel Distributor Spencer, act
Ing upon recommendations made ty
Gov. Morgan of West Virginia, has in
structed district fuel committees that
the recommended fair price for coal
| from all West Virginia districts has
been raised to $3.50 per ton. The
| previous fair price was $3.50.
Distributor Spencer to-day took steps
| to discourage the use of pea coal as
locomotive fuel on Eastern railroads ard
by certain industries. Mr.. Spencer sa Id
available supplies of pea coal are
urgently needed for domestic heating
purposes