The New York herald., 1922-10-22

over every line last night. right here
In this room; and they knew practically
| all OF them.
Ritter--What good wss that. II they
couldn't remember them on the stage
Mrs. p. and Mrs. II. togethar--Mrs.
r.: They could remember them. Mrs. Il.
could remember them on the stage, j
never missed one line.
Ritter--She and that other woman
sat there blinking at the audience like
La couple OF sparrow hawks.
Mrs. P.-They did nothing OF the
kind. .tt
Mrs. Fell--of course they didn't.
| Ritter (to Mrs. Fell)-tiow do you
know? You weren't out there.
I Mrs, Fell could SEQ them through
| the scenery. couldn't I? And they didn't
look anything like couple OF sparrow
hawks, as you say. Ht
| Mrs P.--Weli, as Two never seen a
couple Of sparrow hawks. can't ap.
preciate the comparison.
| Ritter-Weli, you'd have seen q couple
| tonight, if you'd been with me.
Mrs. R.--Don't argue with him, Betty
hos only trying to be smart
Ritter--Why didn't one Of then, say
something?
| Mrs. i.--WItl COulu lIcy LidSc Saiu
| Ritter-Why, any commonplace! It'd
have been better than just sitting there
blinking.
Mrs. P.-one can't DO commonplace in
high comedy.
R!tter-Was that what It was? = y
Mrs. P.--What did you think Il was?
Ritter--You tell her. Nelly; I haven't
got the heart.
Mrs Fell (looking at Mrs. Pampinelli
and then back to Ritter)-You bold
thing. (There Is pause. She places
her hand on Paula's shoulder Don't
let him upset you this way, Paula.
Mrs P.--I suppose you would have
eclpscd Edwin Booth IL you had boen
! up there.
Ritter-Well. I'd have. known better
! than to cit blinking at the audience.
Mrs. RI didn't blink at the audi
ence
Mrs. Fell---Don't answer him. honey.
| Mrs. P.---What could they have done
| under the circumstances?
l. Ritter-Why. they could havo covered
| 1t up If they'd had any brains!
Mrs P.--Covered It UP with what?
Ritter--Why. with anything! I'M
| promptu conversation!
Mrs P.--And nave the audience laugh
| at them? 4.t =
Ritter-They laughed anyhow. didn't
they?
Mrs. Fell-That was not their fault!
R;tter--Whoso fault was it? What
happened to the skinny guys Astache
that 1t kept falling off every other line!
Mrs. =. (withering him with iook)--
Oh, 1t only fell off twice; don't exag-
gcrate Gle laughs loudero.
Mrs. Fell--You bold thing!
Ritter--How many times was 1t sup
posed to fall off?
Mrs. +. Coming down to the rightly
Well what II It fell off n dozen times
everybody knew it wasn't real. (He
roars).
Mrs. Fell-Its lucky thing for y,u
Frederick Ritter, that you're not my
husband.
Ritter-That goes both ways, Nelly.
Mrs. Fell--Well, when you 90 some-
thing that you'll get go many flowers
that my limousine will have TO make
three trips to get them to the various
hospitals, we may pay moro attention
to what you say.
Ritter-I suppose most OF the audience
have gone with them, haven't they?
Mrs. Fell--What? !.
cioak)-Don't answer him. Eleanor-1
ENVY loves lofty mark The next
time we, have a part that calls for
very limited intelligence We'll engage
Mr.. Ritter fort. m 7-
Ritter--well. IL you do. he'll know
how to walk across the stage without
tripping every other step.
Mrs. Teil--Who tripped every other
step?
Ritter-Thc weeping willow there.
(Mrs Ritter begins to weep afsesh.).
Mrs Fell don't know how you're
not afraid TO lie so
Ritter--She trpped when she frs.
came through the door. ! was looking
right at her!
Mrs. P.--(who has her hand on Paula's
shoulder, comforting her)-She don't
fall, did she?
Ritter-No, but 1t looked for while
there as though she was going TO!
very nearly had heart failure
Mrs. T.. (to Mrs. Ritter)-Don't mind
him. Paula. paula cries and Will not
be consoIed.)
Ritter--She tripped when she came on
the stage. she trpped when she went
off. and she trpped over the rug when
she went over TO the desk!
Mrs. P.--She didn't trip any oftener
than anybody else! (Rtter laughs.)
Mrs. Fcll-Nor half so often AZ some
of the others. now that you speak of 1t!
Mrs. P.-I will admit that Mr.. Hosse-
fross is bit unsteady, but that is due
to his weak ankles.
Ritter--What was the stars unsteadi-
ness due to?
Mrs, R.--The rugs.
Ritter-What?
Mrs. P.--Those funny rugs that they
have down there. We didn't use them
al the rehearsals, and, naturally, when
1t came TO the performance, Paula
wasn't accustomed to them.
Ritter--She was accustomed to rugs
at home. wasn't she?
Mrs. P.~Well. she wasn't az home on
the stage.
Rltter-That's my argument In "a nut
she'll
Ritter goes into "a discussion OF the
Little Theater movement. pointing out
that "the theater Is matter OF quail
ficatlons. the same as any other profess
sion," and that Mrs. Pampinelli got In
on the movement because IL sounded
smart.
Mrs. Ritter weepingly says she doesn't
think after the objections her husband
has just voiced that she cares TO 20 on
with a career on the stage. This de-
c,des Mrs. Pampinelli. the champion of
womsn's Individuality. to retire. with
a parting shot.
Mrs. P.--Only remember this. Paula
there viii be actresses when husbands
are thing OF the past. tWhereupon
the cuckoo clock goes off AGAIN.