davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1922-08-28
SIX MORE DAYS LEFT 4: 4:
TO NOMINATE FANS
Major League Races Close.
Difficult to Pick the
Winners.

SIX more days are LOFT to name
your favorite fan as candidate for
top h"nors in the Ten Fanou. Fam"
contest for free trip to SEQ the
worlds series this IAN. 1t is orr
wv" weeks since the contest oponeI
'"" ballots have poured In for the
candidates already nominated
Interest in the races In tho ,w,
n"l"r leagues this season has bean
't FEVER heat. and now that the ,e,mv
"'' SIu"rIhE away for the nnal dash
'"r IN" coveted flags. IL Is dliiIcui,
!" rIcN winner. In tho National
i."nEu" tn" Giants HAY. an edcc n,,
~" other seven clubs at present, wiz
hIc"g" pushing into second pIaco q
new FACTOR has entered the fiust for
IN" championship. The Cardinals ar.
Just behind the Cubs. but the double
'N'"tN OF tho Reds has frightened IN
~ e'rutEI" Tor second place. with
" P'SSlh!" chance to win the honors
In tn" American League IN. van.
secs appear to have recovered tbair
~ i""' ANA th"r" are many who favor
h"h" h"thH aggregation 20 win on,
- f""tS - not on; of tho running
vel ana even Detroit ls conceded 10
nave q chance
"a '"' results OF the Mood Of bal
'"'A cas-, Tor the candidates depends
"" ing % the ten who Will make
~" nm I" IN" baseball classic NJ
TIE world
NHh-'r 1ti"n 10 Tho DISPATCH IA
r"rs Will 10" ia" basis on which no
contest viii be settled Norrin,tio,
h"n"S ar" bong run. which cnti,i.
IN" n"nin"" TO 10000 votes 20 star,
" l'h each sin months suhscrip,inu
:" either paper for carrier delivery
''" votes viii h." given. Mail sinh
Strip'i"rS VIII rc worth $50 vote.
"I I" b" for not more than six
months Votes viii bc printed daily
In tn" two editions
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1922-08-28
CARDINALS DROP THIRD
STRAIGHT TO NEW YORK
ST. Louis Club Showed Back
to Third Place, Trail
inu Cubs
Try Associated Press. !

ST Louis. AUG. 21.-New York
won the third straight game fran,
me local nationals here today, -
!" \, and the Cardinals drouu,J ,n
'h'rh plac" IN the league du. la
"''"e" victory over rhiladriphia
'"c gam" was heavy hitting
"n''h' IN" Locals getting fourteen
H'i"''"S ana TN" visitors eighteen
ll"rnShy 80; his thirty-s,c,u,
home run of the season. Twin.
meth William. "i tn. Erowns f,,r
'hc seasons record Young T.
H'hnitH and Mueller also hammered
out circuit drives. Score:
\eW N.,rl .
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1922-08-28
WILL FIGHT DOUGLAS
CASE OUT IN COURTS
ShuffIin' Pills Attorney Dis
satisfied With Dual. Role
of Lands.
Try United News.l

NEW YORK. Aug. 27.-Thr case of
Shnnlin' fhil Douglas will not he
permitted t" rest with his permanent
suspension. but will be fought In the
state or Federal courts. II Judge
'''hhls, Tor organized baseball. does
not miti.at" III" punishment mct.d
"nt L" thu former Giants pitcher
I"hn l.autcrbaCh. attorney for
''"nIi as. told III" United News that
u" next step was being delayed be
'"hS" OF PhirS mental condition. for
"hi"h II merry" specialist now has
l'hil under Observations
me shock Ut his dismissal from
IL" me-. following upon til. alleged
"lihe OF IN" pitcher as part of The
'r'at heht OF shak mess has l.fi
l'hil'S nerves ia :: dcplor,hI.. st,,,
u" speci"list told i-,utcrhach. There
'"r'. lp"nGilS IL advised To wait uu-
III he Is all" to gitc q better Yc
Cunt OF himself under close uu.s-
il"ning. hef"r. h" attempts to push
his ease
i'aut"rhach limited at m attack ON
t"" legality az Lands action. poin,-
ing out mat Lands occupied the
hnal r"l" Of prosecutor and iuJr.
IN the Pittsburgh hearing. H., is
dissatisfied also with the dcni,i nv
i."sli" Mann. OF tn" Cardinals. ;ha,
~ was n" "ho received the Douglas
tshiue letter.
l.au'"rha"h has traced tho le,tcr
winch was sent by special delivery
and aSc"rtdin"d he says. tina, Mann
hid r"c"iN" H. iic has traced tho
,"'"ph"n" call from New York T.,
't"S'"n also. he declares. proving
NAT Mann discussed the letter with
fhil '
w" nav" not yct decided to 20
'h'" details regarding other Incl
""h'. r"nc"rnins which Douglas
'"'" WAX" statements" Aaid Lau.
,r""'n' We ar" hcsitatinc because
""'' miSht regard ihil's word
as tn" complaint Of a soreb.,d nL
therefor" disbcii"vc him"
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1922-08-28
nost"n uutnrIa,r Wi.

ClNtINNATI. ONO. Aur. ~
walton cruise. oulil"ll-r OF IA.
BOSTON i'raN"S. and Miss Lillian
cory. "f Evansville. Ind. were mar
fir' IN Cincinnati today. The last
''ho RUS" Was ia Cincinnati hr
arranged with the Rev. rr-h.rirl,
M'Mil "f TIA" Walnut HIS
church.. Wh" himself is
mony.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1922-08-28
seattle my. ur,.t,I r,,,h

hkISTDl" Nt.-TENN. Aug -
Cart Williams. pitcher for the Rr,s,oI
club In IA" Appalachian I.caxuc Ia,
been sold To the Seattle ciuh ar rho
'a"iilc Coast I.cnrur. II was an
n"n'""d today. Williams has al
loved only ON" run In the last thir.
'N-hN" innings b" has pitched 10,
hrI>i"i lie is II right handler.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1922-08-28
CUBS BEAT PHILLIES
IEy AssOciatod Pross

40. AuS 2I--Chicaco do.
f"ated Philadelphia TODAY i, ~.
10 sam" OF inc series, 3 30 /
80 nome run. his twelfth OF
and Millcr's double in m. ~
''i"'S Single, gave thn
I"cais their runs. Choeves hecam.
via in the eighth and VA. roniaced
hy Osborne Score
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1922-08-28
Guilford Prepares
to Defend Golf Title
lEy Associated Press

i'l;ppkidNE. MASS. Aug. ~
'rNs" ''ulIi"rd. al the Woodland
'IH' hn- his si-s" guns we'll
bi1hi"d for Ia" defense Uf his ma
'i"h"i amateur E"ir championship
ia The hattie beginning saturday
over ia" country iinh course. IL
h''i'"" known today that On Fri
n"N I"si TIA" champion shot n pra.-
Tie" ~ OYER the difficult course
ia" competitive record for which
Is 20. Far il IL.
Among ether fcats in last
week practices round t;uiIford
rfg'N''r"h an eagle two ON the
yard uphill sixth hole.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1922-08-28

-, LOUIS. Aug. 27.-The st. Louis
Nh'I"najs VIII train at Brandentown.
J. IA. next spring. 1t is announced by
H"m hr"ad"n. president Of the club
rms viii b" the first time since
1919 mat the Cardinals have trained
in Florida
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1922-08-28
1'otaIy
W UshingtniI.
Totals ...........33 10 % -
'Bat'"d FOR Olsen in eighth.
score hy innings. ~

Detroit oio INA naa :,
Washington 10. ino "a,
summary: Twn-h has" hits-iIau,v
iam"''c flagEt"ad stolen bases
Obj Sacrifices I:n;u,y Wnodail.
N"srlaE" Judge. I"ubl, pIav-II,-
n"y To 'ntshnw t." BIN. l.rft on
""S"S l'"lr"lt, II. WASHINGTON q
''"S- on balls OF M"rriar-. I. iii
cue !: Holloway. /. IiitS-"m M
cue In Il. M""r". u"u. ia Ia. or
'hS"h. n"n" IN -. Holloway. | i'm !.
il't by pitcher 10y i'il,.it- U:nslIu)
Moore 'i'r"wrr). nl>rn r..kin
p"ngh) losing pitcher I'iI.ti- I'm.
pir"s Nh!iin and owens Tim, o.Io
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1922-08-28
American Association Results.

Louisville. 100: Toledo. O-3.
Milwaukee. "a: Minneapolis. 1913.
indianapolis. ia: Columbus. Al.
Kansas city. 81; st. Paul. rs.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1922-08-28
Totals

summary: Twc-hase hitS--Tor-
r"rc'r' Mueller. schultz. McOuillan.
S'"hScl. Gr"h. tunningham Three
'"S" hits-FriSch. stock. Home runs
h"rhshS' Young. Schultz. Mueller
,'"l'h Bancroft. Sacrifices
MeuSel. iroh. SNYDER Double ul,ys
'.aNan I" H"rnsbN In Ro,tomly. Rot,
t"mly 10 Lavan. stock To uorr.n,
I" Bo'tomly Left on bases, Inui.
:. Now York. : Bases an mn.
on Sh"rd"l. >; on North. ]; of Nc.
ouillan .. Struck ou,-hv Snnra,l
- by North. =. Hits on ShcrdcI !,
IN innings: none out in scvcr,bl
on N"rt". in innings: ory pf.n,r
= IN inning. Wild pitch-McOuiIIar
Losing pitcher-Sh"rdel lmui-.s
h'"m and Scntcll". Time. l.55.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1922-08-28
Totals
Cincinnati.

"'''S .....3, II - II n
matted Tor Maruuari in seventh.
"''i"h for EraNt"n in ninth.
Scor" ny innings:
S'"h 800. ....... 200 OOO 000-0
'l.,'nnH'' '.'.. goo 0i2 oax-a
summary; Two base hitS-Dun-
VI aE"n"N. Cruise, Ford Three
hnrnS. H"ush. stolen
n"n hurhs. banhcrt. duncan. Sac
n"S"r' Double plays-Dun-
can I" liargrav. Len IN h
h"s'"n, 2; Cincinnati. !. R,se q,
rails of Marquard. .. Rr,x,
"nch. l. Struck out-hv N.rou,-d
- couch, 3. Hits Marouard ~
IN g. Rraxt"n. 3 in .. Losing ni,rher
MarGuard I-mnirc. We,'
and ODay. Tim. ,2c
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1922-08-28
Total
CfnrinnntI.

IS IL 81
hh't'h Tor McNamara I'm scvcn,h
I,'h' out when Wilmington scared
.,"ll"h Tor 'Hv"ucy in eighth
haH"d Tor Gillespie in .irb,h
,'"" .,'''' '..... .0i0 600 .oo-G
Nv ''""'' ''... ...... +u0 COL oil
summary Two base hts r.u,.h
""M"H' hr""-h bias" hits-Dauhcr,
'"N"""y. i:arhar". Sacrifices Fnn.
go N'"s", b"nhI" piay-rord to
ol"s"h l.rfi on bases -nostop .,
Cincinnati. .. Base on balls nn Nn
N"inara' :; EraNt"u. |; or prs,hr.r
- NIX !: l.uIn". l. struck ont
10y Mcnamara. l; Erck. >: GILLESPIE.
"..S on Watson, in /; Krrk.
L" Il 'n"n" out in Scy.nth,. NJ
N"m'rn' 4 in :: RraNton. In ia.
''IIeAP'"' IN ,; I.uIu'. none I'm |.
o'SchEcr, in %. uit by pitcher
ny knck lNichols"m. Passed hall
-oNeiil. Winning pitcher-I.unue,
Losing ptcher--Oeschger Ijmpires
Day and Mccormick. Time. 1851
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1922-08-28
Cumberland nent. Amelia.

CUMBERLAND. Aug 27.-Cumber-
la nd defeated Amelia to 6. by
hitting the ball over the lot Ros-
ser, for Amelia. pitched very good
game for the first Ave innings He
blew M in the sixth and Cumher-
land sent him to The showers
Rianton went to his rescue but was
not any more effective
Score by innings: Ri. f.
Amelia ......2il 660 0n2-6 2
Cumberland 900 lo3 202-s Is s
Battcries-Rosscr. Rlanton and
Hardy: Godsey and Pulliam.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1922-08-28

WHERE THEY RAY Jou.y
hi""r" 1T rhiindrIphin
"'r'Hhd NJ Huston
-. Louis nj New ,,rL
tuners not ssh,,iuI,d /,
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1922-08-28
NATIONAL LEAGUE

RESULTS YESTERDAY
!h'ihhhti. ~; iiosi"n. N-B.
hi"ag". s; rhiindrlphIn. Z.
- i""iS. :; Nrw York. -.
hr""AD h-fIu>hurrh. rnIn.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1922-08-28
VIRGINIA LEAGUE
Ht>itis YESTERDAY.
~" Shnirs sch-duI-,I.,
STANDING. or O.

WHERE THEY piSl voDAy
NeWport News NJ TNrhmnnd
Wilson ~ Port-moutL
Norfolk al Rocky Mount
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1922-08-28
AMERICAN LEAGUE

RISI IRIS YESTERDAY
N">hIn Ii"n. .: b-,r"it. =.
NrN i"rL ST. Louis, rnIu.
tuners not s"hcdiIcu
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1922-08-28
STANDING or ,i.I.us

WHERE TIiEh rIII IoD>y
Hr""Al,n nj Itt,Inrgh
bost"n nt iiucinnn,I
Va othrrS srhrduIrd ,
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1922-08-28
GIANTS NOW PLAYING
BEST BALL OF SEASON
NlcCra"> Men Prove SUPERB.
GRITTY by Defeating All Lead.
ing Conlcndcrs.
tny Associated rro-s ]

NEW YORK Aur PLAYING
letter baseball y, bat, on the bases
ana IN defense than ~ any time dur
ms IN" season. ~" New York Giants
turned hack In d"foa, during IN.
""ck 'hr"" ~ their most <,ub.nrn
obstacles t" tho pcruant-Chtcaro
cincinnati and s.. Louis. and in.
'r"aS"d th"ir lead over tho second.
pItc" club 10 seven games
McGraw's men took ono game f-np,
tn" cubs. two from IN. Reds ana
three from tho Cardinals rhnv
played almost perfectly ON the dc.
fms. and converted ,h.lr compara.
lively small number OF hits into Gus,
enough runs.
Neck ni->rcL sprint.
In the American League. New York
and - Louis continued! the nose
and-nos" sprint for TIA. Leadership,
each club winning four and losing
thr"" games. leaving tn" YauA.cs III.
'hc lead TODAY bv tn. Margin ~ half
game. ~ iomorr"v's gam. post
p"u"d from today because of rain.
'h" Yankees VIII Fac" tho Browns
best hurlcr. Shock"r. ana must de-
fca, him !" hold the lead
Through their three srraigh, losses
." tn" Giants. the Cardinals today
hr"pD"d from second place ia fa,Sr
OF tn" cuts. The latter club. like
,h" 81 L"uisinns. had their troubles
during the week and los, carly
"hanc"s To jump To- the second po-
Sii3on.
Pirates streak nr"kcn.
In" Pirates winning streak way
broken Friday by Brooklyn. which
defeated them In both ends OF a dou-
hl" encounter. Tho Superhas broke
even ON tho week. and the phillies
.nd tn" Braves failed to shake off
their losing habits. Tn" Rods played
good ball. taking fourth place from
the Pirates by winning two games
."day from tho Braves.
cohh's Tigers had tho best record
"f the week in tn" American. They
led the other clubs in tho hitting col
umn aud displayed Il sterling brand
II play ancld
Their loss to Washington today
was their second defeat in a week 81
eight games Detroit !s in position
I" tax" tn" lead. should tho Browns
and Yankees crack from the strain
"f their long battles.
TN" Athletics and Rcd Sox ran into
excellent hurting fell of In their hit
ting and fielding miscrahly. dropping
- majority Of their games
international League Results,
Syracuse. 3-5: Baltimore. Ga,
buffalo. 10; Jersey city. 8.
Rochester. G: Reading. 5.
Others not scheduled
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1922-08-28

international League Results,
Syracuse, 3-5: Baltimore, Ga,
Eunalo. 10; Jersey city. 6,
Rochester. G: Reading. 5.
Others not scheduled.
ADDITIONAL. SPORTS PACE n
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1922-08-28

"'aIs ........o1 ; : 2TS o
hait"d for Parkinson in eighth
'ht'ted for Ring in ninth.
score 10y innings n
ihhadelphia .........o 600 O0f O00-l
hicaE" ..............oln 200 O0.-3
n IN nary Two-base hits
f'"'ch"r 90. i.ebourvcau. Miller.
ii"h" run-G mes SacriHcc-
h"athc"te. Left on bases rhiladel-
rhia s: Chicago. J. Ras. on halls -
on King. {; off cheeveS, . struck
""' by King, {: by Chceves. 2; ~
''>h"rne. l. ilits-off Chccves s in
10 innings: off Osborne. none in
:" Innings. Hit by pitcher-by
'Sh"rne tWrighstOneJ. Winning
lh''h"r-Hhc"v-s Empires Hart and
l.iGi"r. Time-I:4S
The Washington times., 1922-09-03
OFFICE RULES.

While talking to a prospective
buyer the other day I observed the
following rules posted in q con-
spicuous place:
I. Upon entering our private Of
flco do not knock, but come on In.
.. II the manager II busily en-.
gnsed In conversation, butt right
In. for he IN particularly fond OF
talking 10 moro than one person at
. time.
3. Don't wait to be asked 10 be
seated; sit right down, put your
feet ON the managers desk; he has
plenty Of time 70 clean Il off.
4. II you chew tobacco and
haven't any with you, just ask our
manager. You can also spit on the
floor. for wo want you to feel at
home.
s. II you want Ice water don't
be afraid to ask for IL, we Will be
glad to get Il for you.
6. II you are selling anything
you arc the very man we want to
see, for we buy anything.
I. III the manager ts Dusy ana
tolls you he cant see you today,
Just sit In the office until tOmor-
row. We will have your meals
sent In, also furnish you with .
bed.
8. II q lady enters the office
don't remove your hat. nor offer
her your chair, for she doesn't ap-
preciate courtesy.
8. II you need any money don't
be AFRAID to ask us for q loan. We
cater to leaning our money only to
strangers.
10. When leaving our office
don't thank us for any courtesy ex-
tended, but send some Of your
friends In, for we are anxious to
form new acquaintances like yours.
g. w.
The Washington times., 1922-09-03

hand-embroidering the Verses.
When he made Society"
rhyme with ''Propriety," he
thought he was getting to be
Gilbertian.
When People came up to the
House, not knowing that he had
been taken down with anything,
he would own up that he was
working on a Mere Trifle, and
then. after being sufficiently
urged. he would give a Reading.
. These Readings could have been
headed off. but only by an Order
Of Court or calling out the State
Guard.
Inasmuch as the large-size Car
negie Medal for Heroism is wait
ing for the Caller who has the
immortal Rind to tell a poetical
Pest that his output is Punk, the
Author found himself smeared
with Compliments after each Of
these parlor Try-outs.
They kidded him into thinking
that he had incubated a Whale.
When the Great Work was ready
to be launched he began to inquire
the Name OF some prominent
Theater Bloiie who was a keen
Student Of the Classics and q Per.
son Of superrefined Taste.
The man he sought had moved
into the Poor House, 20 he com.
promised by expressing his type
written Masterpiece to . Ring.
The Washington times., 1922-09-03
; UPLIFTER AND HIS DANDY LITTLE OPUS

~ NcH there was . Litry
Guy who would don his
Undertaker's Regalia and
the White Satin Puff Tie and
70 out Of an Afternoon 10 read
Q Paper to the wimmen.
At every Tea Battle and Cookie
Carnival he was hailed rs the
Big Hero.
A good many pulsating Dull
cineas who didn't know what
'sIconoclast" meant regarded
him a. an awful Iconolast.
And cynical7 Mercyl
When he stood UP in a Front
Room and Unfolded his MS. and
swallowed the Peppermint Wafer
and began to Bleat, no one in
the World Of Letters was safe.
He would waIlop Dickens and
jounce Kipling and even take q
sideswipe at Luella Prentis Budd.
who was the Poetess Laureate
for the Ward in which he lived.
As for the Drama, he could
spread q New York Success on
the marble-top Table and dissect
It until nothing was left but the
Motif, and then he would heave
that into the Waste Basket,
thereby leaving the Stage in
America fiat on its back.
The Washington times., 1922-09-03

master whose name he had seen
on the Three-Sheets.
In a few months the hirelings Of
the Express Company became well
acquainted with the Large En-.
velope containing the only Hope
Of the present decadent Period.
Every time the Work came back
to him with a brief printed Sug.
gestion that any Male Adult not
physically disabled could make
$2.75 a day with a Shovel the Au-
thor would appear at the After
noon Club with another scathing
arraignment Of certain CONNER
cial Aspects Of the Modern Stage.
A NERvY MANAGER.
The Music was written by
Genius No. 2. working in a Piano
Store. He had been writing Great
Music for years.
whenever he heard anything
catchy, he went home and wrote II.
He was very Temperamental.
That is, he got soused on about
three, and, while snooted. would
deride Victor Herbert. thus prov
ing that he was Brilliant. though
Erratic.
He had q trunkful Of Tunes that
were too scholarly for the Ikeys
who publish Popular Trash.
He fitted them on to the Libret.
TO written by the Litry Gent.
When the two sot together 10
The Washington times., 1922-09-03
WHAT A SMILE WILL DO.

There's q wondrous lot OF power
In an honest, wholesome smile;
1t often starts q blessing
That will travel for a mile
When our hearts are sad and heavy
And the days are dark the while.
You can notice that things
brighten
From the moment that you
smile.
What the rose Is 10 the bower,
What the jewel IL to the ring.
What the song Ia to the robin,
In the gladsome days OF spring;
What the gold IL to the sunset,
That oft our souls beguile,
All this, and more, to people
Is the blessing Of n smile.
When you see q face that's sad.
dened
BY the cruelty Of strife,
Into which have come the wrinkles
From the tolls and cares Of life,
just send a ray Of sunshine
To smooth Its brow awhile,
And bestow q passing blessing
By the giving Of smile.
EVELYN LOFFLER.
The Washington times., 1922-09-03

After he had been sitting on
the Fence for many years, booing
those who tried to saw Wood. his.
Satellites began coaxing him to
write something that would show
up Eugene O'Neill and A. A.
Milne and all the other Four
Flushers who were raking in
Royalties under False Pretenses.
They knew he was q Genius,
because nothing pleased him.
He decided to start with some
thing easy and dash off an Oper-
eta.
Having sat through some of
the Current Offerings, he noted
that the Dialogue was unrelated
to Real Literature and the Verses
lacked Metical Symmetry.
So he had a Vase of Fresh
Flowers put on his Desk every
Day, and he would sit there,
waiting for the Muse to keep her
Date.
MOVED INTO POOR HOUSE.
At the end Of q Month he had
It all planned to lay the First
Scene in front OF a Palace with
a Forest on the Back Drop so
as to get a lot Of atmosphere.
There was to be q Princess In
the Thing, and a Picture Of the
long.lost Mother in the Locket
and other New Stuff.
He put In Hours and Hours
The Washington times., 1922-09-03

run over the Book and Score, they
were sure enthusiastic.
The Author said the Lines were
the best he had ever heard. and
the Composer said the Numbers
were all Gems.
The Author went up to the City
and found a Manager who had a
Desk and a lot Of Courage and a
varied experience In risking other
peoples Coin.
After the two Geniuses had
mortgaged their Homes, the I'm
presario was enabled to get some
Scenery built and rally q large
Drove Of Artists.
During Rehearsals the brutal
Stage Manager wanted to cut the
Gizzard out Of the Book and omit
most Of the sentimental Ariss, but
Mr.. Words and Mr.. Music emitted
such shrieks Of protest against the
threatened Sacrilege that he al
lowed all the select homemade
Cuff to remain in the Script.
He thought 1t would serve them
Right.
When they gave the first Real
Performance in q Dog Town on .
drixzly evening In November there
was no Social Eclat to I'm the
sails.
The House was mostly Paper
and therefore very Missouri. and
allowed the pretty little Opera 10
die IKE an Outcast
The Washington times., 1922-09-03
By GEORGE AIDE

Standing in the Alley. they could
hear Walls Of Anguish. and they
knew that their Child was having
the Vital Organs removed.
The Ak fell right on the powder
ed Neck Of the beautiful Prima
Donna. who had studied for Grand
Opera, but never had been able to
find an Orchestra that would lit
her Voice.
Her Part was changed from a
Princess to q Shop-Lifter and was
assigned to Cissy st. Vitus. late Of
q Burlesque Bunch known as the
Lady Bugs.
The Tenor was given the Hook.
and his sentimental Role was en-
trusted to q Hea.Spinner who had
acquired his Dramatic Schooling
with the Ringing Circus.
All Of which comes under the
head Of whipping q Performance
into Shape.
When the two Geniuses sat out
in front they recognized nothing
except the Scenery and Costumes.
Their idyllic Creation had been
mansled into a roughhouse Riot,
In which Disorderfy Conduct alter.
mated with the shameless 9yrs-
tions taught in Egypt.
The Plot died Just four minutes
after the Ring.Up.
Tho romantic Operetta now be.
came known as Another One Of
Those Things.
The Washington times., 1922-09-03
Little drops Of moonshine
In a shaking hand,
Makes a heavy load
For any man to stand.
CHEVY.
CURIOUS FACTS.

Although II Is an old adage that
lightning never strikes twice I'm
the same place." Jason Goodrich,
one-legged civil war veteran, Of
Rock Hill, Conn, has been stunned
by lightning five times. OF course,
Jason was not In the samo place
every time.
An Atchison, Kan, woman was
sitting up with a corpse when the
man who Is now her husband pro-
posed to her. She was so afraid
that II she refused him he would
60 away and leave her with the
corpse that she accepted. She now
thinks that she would have been
better off left alone with the
corpse.
An American newspaper man
discovers that I'm all China there Is
no such thing as "chOp suey,"
which Cinnamon serve TO q wait.
ing public here. And yet there sre
people who think Barnum was
wrong.