Omaha daily bee., 1922-04-15
CURRENT EVENTS.

CURRENT EVENTS.
Husking Bee: Eat you. Philo? I been yellin'
around all over town huntin' you. I wanta know
il Kid Wedges early histry as lumberjack is
creatin' any more disturbance in your mind than
Al Jennings vaudeville of robbin' banks and
trains did?
| These female swimmers are Dustin records
every day. They take about the sixteenth Of Z
second off record and about foot of their
clothes.
Rohrer amt doin' much roarin' round here
lately, maybe he's gone to Aurora, or waitin' fer
| the publicity agent to git all through.
| Speakin' OF publicity jever notice these auto
ads. where Hiram Dunwoodie Livermore has
accepted a sales nlanagershp with the Back
date Auto Co.? This histry don't tell US that Hi
has been massagin' defunct and mud-spattered
autos on their back piazza ever since the war,
no, but he has to do that as part Of his edica
tion, to see whether he will stand fer cussin' or
| not.
Dan said he wasn't there soon enuf and Hank
| said he wasn't there at all. Them dern kids
never will git over piayin' hockey. .
What become Of that big noisy walrus that
| ,lsta work on that laundry wrapper two blocks
| further DOWN., ] went by that corner tother
day and l didn't hear him. so he musta moved
out.
You know Philo: it don't make so much diff
ference whether Obenchain goes clear, or
whether Fatty gets stuck this time, what the last
scrap in the city hall was about or who won out.
whether the regular satiday mite sx-reel holdup
was larger or smaller than usual, none Of them
things make any large difference in our young
lives. but the thing that has begun to git Us al
OVER THE OYSTER DOWN At THE OLD
BUFFALO WALLER THE OPENIN'
GAME ON APRIL 28TH" -soukup.
...
Does any man ever get satisfaction by going
to law?" ..-
"Why yes. The lawyer does"
WINNING WAYS.
Such winning ways has Billie Bards,
As can well attest
He bluffs and then he holds his cards
Right close up to his vest.
Tim says: George Washington never told :
lie, and he is dead. Some people seem to think
that is what killed him and are making sure that
they won't die from the same cause.
BELIEVE IT OR NOT.
II In kind fate
Gives you shove,
And you can't get
The girl you love-
There's one fair chance
That's left you yet,
That you may love
The girl you s:t.
... NO, NO.
MARY Garden Has $50 Pairs of Shoes
Headline, Sail right, Mary. old thing; and we'll
venture the guess that none Of them are kids
Three One.
THE GOOD SAMARITAN.
Frank Carey the dry cleaner, was driving
down ll-worth street the other morning. and
seeing man with an o'eoat on his arm, offered
him ride.
After passing a. few remarks, Frank said.
where are you going?"
"Oh," said the man, "you can let me off at
Sixteenth and Jones. I want to leave this coat
at the Pantorium to be cleaned" (GiddapD
THE BEE DOES IT.
A fellow who lived in Dundee
Said: There's nothing the matter with me,
I've built garage
And had massage
With money saved reading the BEE.
w. J. Stacey.
SPRING THOUGHT.
Rouge covers I multitude OF freekles.
The baseball season might be called fly time.
ISN'T IT THE STUFF?
The mighty Eagle rules the soost
Where'er the flags unfusled-
And yet the unaSsuming Stork
Can lid the whole wide world.
AFTER-THOUGHT: A woman's tongue
may scorch but her kiss puts the bliss in blister.
PHlLO.
A Cause for Gloom.
An archeoosist who is Of philosophic turn
of mind must become very gloomy as he con-
templates the highly organized civilization Of
ancient times and reflects on the triHing advance,