davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1922-06-26
Is Marriage a Failure?
What Uncle Dan Forgot.

We are too stfngy with our COM
pliments. that's one trouble with mar
r1ed life. Not long ago i attended a
golden wedding.
Uncle Dan." ! said to the BRIDE
groom of fifty years, doesn't Aunt
Mary look pretty in that new silk
dress?"
Uncle Dan squinted through his
glasses to where Aunt Mary sat in a
room beyond. We'll. now. she does. %
he mumbled. "Why she looks younger
than she did this day fifty years ago. "
Been a pretty good wife, hasn't
she, Uncle DAM" I insisted.
Say" Uncle Dan shook a tremb-
ling finger at me and his voice grew
husky. THE Lord doesn't make bet
ter wives than Mary. nor better
cooks"
Aunt Mary" called into the other
room, Someone says the bride gets
prettier all the timew
Aunt Mary sprang up with un-
wonted spryness. But Uncle Dan
what allied him? He was blushing
like a school boy and was sneaking
out the nearest door.
Did Dan say that?" Aunt Mary
asked tremulously.
"All that and more" and I told her
the rest
The dear old aunt stood transfig-
ured. Such a radiance shone on. her
face as might light'the features of one
who realizes victory after a lifetime
of struggle. And all day she moved
among her guests with a strange alb
straction, her eyes following Uncle
Dan, cheeks flushed. For fifty years
che has al xpffk
him, through disaster and prosperity.
She has been equally patient and de-
voted whether doing a mans work In
the field or mothering their seven
children, and when on her golden we'd
ding she hears indirectly that Uncle
Dan approves her. she Is thrown into
transports of happinessl
One OF these days some good min
lister is going to preach funeral SER
mon over Uncle Dan. He will tell the
congregation that Uncle Dan was a
godly man; that he never touched a
drop of whisky in all his life; that
blasphemy never passed his lips. He
will declare that Uncle Dan never re-
fused help to a friend or any enemy.
In fact, the only thing the minister
will not tell about Uncle Dan is that
in fifty years he never came out from
behind his whiskers and gave his wife
real compliment.
wouldn't deny Uncle Dan admit
tance into heaven. o. no! But / do
hope when he knocks at the pearIy
gates Peter will ask him how many
times he has told his wife she was
pretty. And while he stands there
wondering what to say. I hope Uncle
Dan will have a bad half hour.
The Washington herald., 1922-06-26
.MNNSCODe
Monday, June 26. 1922.

Many dimly threatening influences
appear to rule this day. according to
astrology. Mercury and Neptune
are both in evil place.
This is not a favorable rule under
which to enter into new business
Partnerships.
The signing of contracts today
may not be satisfactory as the rule
tends to destroy loyalty in partner
ships.
Disturbing news of national i'm
port seems to be foreshadowed by
this planetary government.
This is not a favorable planetary
government for the beginning OF
voyages. since Neptune is in a
threatening aspect.
An unusual number of severe
storms at sea appear to be indi-
Gated by the stars
Much publicity concerning scan
daIs, libels and unpleasant rumors
affecting men in public Office is
prognosticated-
Owing to the position of certain
malefics all who occupy high places
will be affected by the envy and
jealousy that are likely to promul-
gate gossip that is cruel and un-
true.
The seers admonish men and
women to guard their thoughts as
never before, since many depressing
and discouraging suggestions will
be received by the brain during this
configuration.
The potency OF thought is en-
Drasized at this time when an un-
usual sensitiveness may be notice
able.
The rule Of the stars is not con-
ducive to happiness or contentment
- domestic life.
-s-oroA will reach such an apex
shortly. astrologers prophesy. thar
national campaigns to restore the
stability OF marriage will be under
taken.
All the signs seem to presage a
reaction in favor of morality and
old traditions of well-ordered living.
Occultists declare that Immortality
has not increased so generally as
the number OF scandals indicate, but
that the sway which uncovers hid
den things is strong.
Persons whose birthdate II is have
the augury of quiet year in which
they will have many happy expert
ences, but they must guard against
deception
children born on this day may be
hieh-strung and impressionabIe.
They are likely to be strongly
psyehic and SO should be handled
wisely.
The Washington herald., 1922-06-26
food
MO/nHg
NH1H4e y
ev RUDOLPH PERKINS

That woman thowed lye on me-"
said Ada Clark, pointing to Lizzie
Eastern. That's her favorite way
OF hghtin'"
me-" responded Lizzie. That's her
favorite way of gittin' people in
trouble"
Before the case against Lizzie got
very far it fiivvered. because there
was too much of the short and
ugly word in 1t and too little about
the short and ugly can OF lye.
Lizzie said it was all a frame
up" Anyhow, 1t looked as though
Ada had been the aggressor.
Judges Hardison thought so and
dismissed the assault charge
against Lizzie.
The Washington herald., 1922-06-26

ever she was really a wife. The
obliging car roof had also made
her heir to one-third of the intes-
tate victims estate. In other
words, to some $1,000 a year.
Mazda had not pretended to
from Difference to his memory and
later from choice, she had lived In
easy semi-seclusion- One or two
little dinners a winter. a tea or
so, and perhaps few informal
weekend parties at her bungalow
these comprised Mazda Layne's
efforts at entertaining. And she
accepted even fewer invitations
than she gave. Once or more a
year she consented TO act as host
ess and chaperon at Dirck Moy-
lan's rambling country home, a
mile or so from her Paignton bun
galow, or to serve in the same
gracious capacity at a dinner or
tea in his town studio.
1t was one evening just after
MAZDA had come to her bungalow
for the summer that Dirck broke
his own rule of rustic retirement
by going to leap year dance at
the Paignton Country Club. Mazda
was there. too. But Dirck saw
little of her. 1t was almost his
first public appearance at any func-
tion in the neighborhood. And the
summer colony hailed his advent as
something OF a triumph.
His fame was bright of late.
And he had a reputation for not
caring about society. Therefore
that night he was greeted with
open arms and was made much of
generally.
That was the evening he met
Thetis Varick.
Thetis was tall and flamelike
and altogether beautiful beneath
her rich tan of outdoor summer
life. She was slenderly athletic.
too, and yet with a grace and
richness that seemed to lift her
from the class of stalwartly heal
thy outdoor girls around her. She
| appealed. on the instant. to Dirck's
artistic sense. And he caught him
self studying her as carefully as
though he were welding brush and
mahlstick.
1t was not hard for him to make
this study and make II at close
quarters. For Thetis was openly
| interested in him. and she was
| more. An utter hero worship
smoldered IN her warm young
eyes. In less than five minutes
after they met he knew she had
put him on a pedestal. She was
not seeking to fiatter or to pre-
tend an ignorant interest she did
not feel. She was as conversant
with his work as was any critic.
She showed a perfect familiarity
with II and an almost awed adni-
ration that must have gone to the
very heart of any normal man.
Thetis was not only an art stu
dent but an art lover. Moylan had
been her ideal. And now, face to
| face, she had met him.
She did not gush. She did not
chant fulsome praises. But she
worshiped. She worshiped as at a
shrine. She worshiped intelligent
| ly and unashamed. This open idol
airy of the glowingly lovely girl
| stirred Dirck. II filled him with a
mass of queer emotions that he
had thought outgrown a score or
| years ago.
This was Moylan's first inkling
that he was still young.
With a charming shamelessness
| Thetis took advantage Of the leap
year phase of the country club af-
fair by claiming Dirck for dance
after dance. The evening was hot.
/ After one or two dances the two
sat out for the best part of an
| hour. Thetis snubbed numerically
such few callow youths as dared
invade the moonlit club balcony in
! quest of her.
Continued Tomorroic.
The Washington herald., 1922-06-26
ESfsM Xay13iBs9LhNAte,z

Ellen was afraid of dogs. al
though her pride would not aliow
her to admit the fact. One day
a party of visitors brought with
them a tiny terrier that just bub-
bled over with enthusiasm.
Seeing Ellen. he Immediately
made a rush at her. barking furf-
ously in his desire for play. Scram-
bling hastily onto her chair. Ellen
drew her short skirts about her
The Washington herald., 1922-06-26
Answer. to Yesterday. Questions.

Answers TO Hesterday'a 0uestiOns.
1. Who was Peter Cartwright? A
widely known Methodist circuit
rider of the first half of the last
century, said to have preached
$4,000 sermons in his time.
2. Who composed the operas. The
Marriage of Figaro" and THE Magic
Flute?' Wolfgang Amadeus Mo-
zart.
3. In the absence of all power t
reason. what force guides insects to
perform the acts Of their lives. In
stinct, whcih might be called an
inherited knowledge of certain
sequence of acts.
I. What are five synonyms for the
word ability? Power, cleverness,
faculty. skill. capacity.
3. Name four important cities IL
the province of Ontario located on
Lake Ontario. Hamilton, Toronto.
Port Hope and Kingston.
| 8. What famous English queen
died a most miserable death? Queen
Elizabeth. She rolled about for tel
days on rugs, refused to eat any
thing. or. go to bed. She refused to
change her clothing. was weeping
hysterically. and refused to official
~ name her successor. She died of
exhaustion.
z. Where did st. Patrick receive
his religious training? In a monas-
terry near Cannes, France.
.. For what Company did Wallace
Reid make his first screen appear
ance? The vitsgraph Company.
>. On which side of the groom
does the bride walk down from the
altar! When they turn at the I'm
ish OF the ceremony and face the
audience the bride. takes the
groom's right arm. and walks down
the aisle at the right
10. When Vas the parcel post sys-
| tenn inaugurated In the United
/ States9 ya80ar< 4 rafa
The Washington herald., 1922-06-26
'Tweuld Seem So.

Dear Miss Blake: have a friend
who has been taking me out every
week or two for the last five months
He is thoughtful and treats me with
every consideration and calls me the
most endearing names. Recently he
told me he liked me a great deal. Do
you think his intentions are Sc
rious, 1 love him dearly and he
knows I am fond Of him. I have
given up going with other young
men for his company.
REGINA"
Looks that way, Regina! When
a man is Thoughtful of you, treats
you with every consideration, and
calls you endearing names 1t is a
pretty safe guess you have him
hypnotized. Here's hoping for
early wedding bells, II that is what
is in your mind.
The Washington herald., 1922-06-26
Embarrassing Moments
Knew All About 1t.

told friend of mine quite con-
fidentially a bit Of news that had
heard some time before.
/ cautioned her not to repeat 1t,
as was told in strictest confidence.
but had forgotten who told me.
I looked up just then to catch q
little twinkle in her eye as she
said, II was the one who told you"
]. NJ. c.
The Washington herald., 1922-06-26

vicious sea tiger in the ocean at
st. Petersburg. Fla. Defying the
monster which had attacked, her
chum and almost severed a leg from
her, and q mile out in the Atlantic,
The Washington herald., 1922-06-26
@Wen1NV@7eSfS
Inswers to These Questions VIII BE
Published Tomorrow.

Answers to These Questions VIII BE
Published Tomorrow.
1. Where and when did President
Wilson deliver his too proud to
fight" speech?
2. What are hieroglyphics?
= 3. who are the Tagalogs?
I, What are five synonyms for the
word affirm7
5. For what was the United States
battleship Oregon famous
6. What is the distance from Yo-
kohama to Victoria. B. C. by boat?
Z. What noted actor met death in
the Galveston flood?
s. What is the relation of Libe,!a
to the great powers?
9. Is the King of Sweden of
Swedish blood?
10. What are the names of tn
only Japanese couple who hav
starred in moving pictures over
here?
The Washington herald., 1922-06-26
Prep.red for the worst.

am dentist. and one day I
seated a woman who weighed over
200 pounds in my dental chair and
began slowly raising It.
Said she, Il will get out of the
chair, doctor. while you adjust 1T"
20. no." ! said: "sit still: j could
raise house with this equipment
G. e. A.
The Washington herald., 1922-06-26
Call or Write.

Dear Miss Blake: I am a young
fellow of IS and 1 like a certain
girl a great deal and would like TO
go out with her. but I cannot seem
to see her at all, and ! would like
to know how I could see her.
"B. r."
Could you not call her up, B. R.,
and ask to call upon her? That
would be the first step. Or write
her a note. Then IL she will re-
ceive you in her home, you might
The Washington herald., 1922-06-26

Has His Love Diedf
Dear Miss Blake: 7 am engaged
to a fellow, but he has not come
around to see me for two month";
During that time 1 haven't heard
firm him. l do not know whether
his love has died for me or nov.
and on that account 1 am still
wearing his ring. In the mean-
time, 1 do not go out with any 9TH
er fellow, feeling II is my duty to
be true to my bethrothed. whas
would you advise me to do in order
to hear II he has any Intentions
of returning?
ANXIOUS
You might try to find out IL ne
has some secret grievance against
you, and IL it is misunderstana-
ing. have that ironed out. II. how
ever, you are in no way to blame
for the indifference, send back the
ring and start all over again
The Washington herald., 1922-06-26

James was playing IN the back
yard. A little dog belonging to a
nelghbor came into his yard. James
tried repeatedly 10 make friends
with the dog. but the dog would
The Washington herald., 1922-06-26
SMITH

only bark and ensri when he came
near. Finally the child turned 20
his mother and said. I don't think
that dog shows the right spirit. ."
NJ. b.
The music tescher entered the
second grade room She asked.
who can start the song we learned
yesterday"
A little boy volunteered He
made two or three attempts and
failed.
He looked at the teacher and
said. Il guess I'm not q self-stsrt-
er." L.D.C.
The Washington herald., 1922-06-26

and essayed an ingratiating smile
at the bounding puppy.
Don't be afraid. little dogEie."
she said. Il won't hurt you"
Z. N. R.
The Washington herald., 1922-06-26
Three Months silence.

Dear Miss Blake: I've been keep
ing company with a young man
three years, and was deeply in love
with him. lost trace of him. Three
months before he left he told me
to wait for his return. Should /
forget him? NJ. F. k
Three months silence seems quite
test, NJ. F. X. Or was it intended
to be that? Surely he must have
been a fickle one. do not believe
would continue this long distance
worship of him. II other young men
present themselves.
The Washington herald., 1922-06-26

Miss Buhner swan to the rescue OF
Miss McClatchie and for forty-fi five
minutes held the limp form above
water until the boat reached her
Miss McClatchie bled to death be.
fore medical aid could reach her.
The Washington herald., 1922-06-26
SDvS RaheS. answers {
IA TO I've Rnhenps 50
Has His Love Diedf

suggest some kind OF entertain.
ment. a movie, say!
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1922-09-06
Methodist Church Notes

Md Week meetings viii be re-
sumed this week with the first meet
ing on Thursday evening at 1870
o'clock. All are invited to attend.
The pastor is required to complete
and send in the annual report fol
the charge. Any who have not yet
completed payments on subscrip-
tons will please do so this week.
At the. services last Sunday the
pastor read a letter from Mrs. Roy
Brown expressing her desire to with
draw from membership in the Meth
odist church and requesting the re-
moval of her name from the mem
bership roll of the. church. This re-
quest was complied with.
The Ladies Aid Society will serve
lunch in the basement of the church
Wednesday, Sept. 9th, beginning at
4:30 o'clock. All are invited to come.
Evening services were resumed
last Sunday night and good con-
gregation was present. The public is
invited.
Services next Sunday include:-
Sunday school at 10 A. NJ; Morning
worship at IL o'clock; Epworth Lea
que at $50 P. NJ; and Evening wor.
ship at 1880 o'clock.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1922-09-06
Fayette Fair Took in s12.5s3.so

At this years Fayette county fair,
the gate receipts of Wednesday ex-
ceeded those of Thursday, for the
first time in the fairs history. The
difference was slight, only S5.45.
The change in that direction has been
noticeable for several years, the tend
ency being not unwelcome to the
fair managers, who like to see the at
tendance well distributed instead of
congested on only one day.
But the attendance on Wednesday
was not so great as on Thursday, be-
cause about all the family and sea-
son tickets sold on Wednesday were
also represented in Thursdays crowd,
though counting only in Wednesdays
receipts. The attendance Wednesday
was no doubt around 10000 and that
of Thursday around 10000.
The total gate receipts were S12,-
$3.50, which is $4,000 above last
years. The daily totals were $1,S33.-
03" for Tuesday, $4,S0S.60 for We'd
nesday, $4,S03.15 for Thursday, and
S1,13S.25 for Friday. The conces-
sions also yielded larger sum than
in 1921. The premiums paid Will run
to about $4,000.-West Union Gaz-
cite.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1922-09-06
1t Was the Bugs Fault

Just a year ago while L. w. Mil
lard of Milwaukee was out riding in
his auto bug few into his eye. He
swatted at it with his hand, knocked
off his hat, lost control of his car,
and ran into horse, killing it. The
farmer who owned the horse sued
Willard for damages. The judge
blamed the bug, holding that the
driver of an auto was not negligent,
but that he was harrassed by cir
cumstances beyond his control. The
verdict is a refreshing one, as it is
commonly thought by the average
man that when he needs a little cash
he has only to step in front of an
auto and collect.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1922-09-06
Germann Home From Market

F. A. Germann, proprietor of the
Mems Shop, and Mrs. German ar
rived home Thursday from Chicago
where Mr.. German had been on a
buying. expedition, He states tina.
he found the prices very attractive
and purchased a very big and COM
plete stock. On account Of the in
creased tariff on wool it is expected
the prices will be a great deal higher
later on.
The Gold Bond Clothes handled by
the Mems Shop are exceptionally
good and they are showing an ele-
giant line. Mr. German is hghly
pleased over his purchases, and his
customers are going to get some
great values this fall.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1922-09-06
Judge Taylor Sues Power Co.

The Interstate Power Co. has been
served with a damage suit of $4,000
which has been filed in court here
by Judge Taylor for damages to
shade trees about his premises. He
alleges that following the big sleet
storm last winter employees of the
Power Co., without any right or au-
thority, cut, hacked and chopped five
of the trees, cutting large branches
therefrom and running them for
shade purposes, which Judge Taylor
claims has resulted in a damage of
$4,000 to his property.-Waukon
Democrat.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1922-09-06
Woman Shoots Golf Ball From Bird
Nest to Green For One Putt

Charlottesville, Ind.,-One of the
most unusual golf shots on record
was executed here yesterday by Mrs.
Galen Blackford. After an APP
proach shot which landed in a birds
nest Mrs. Blackboard climbed the tree
in which the nest was situated, took
a stance among the limbs and played
a pitch shot to the nearby green
from where she holed out in one
putt, thus halving the hole. How
ever, she lost the match, which was
one of the semi-fnals in the wo-
mems city tournament, to Miss Est
her Detchon, 2 up and l to go.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1922-09-06
Japanese Mice Attract Attention
CARL r. HAUG.

F. A. German, the clothier, has
an attraction in his clothing store
window watch has been drawing
crowds daily. While N Chicago last
week he bought two japanese spin
ming mice. They are about the same
size as the "hOme" species, but much
more active. They spin like a top,
and go so fast, that it is almost i'm
possible to tell them from top.
They keep the spinning up practi-
cally all day. In color they are a
dark grey and white.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1922-09-06
Gard From Weiningen, Zurich,
Switzerland

a card from Carl R. Haug, of
Spllyille, who is visiting in. Switzer-
land reads as follows:
Am enjoying a most interesting
"trip and expect to write you a
lengthy letter in the near future.
Many Americans all over and one
hears the American language in ev-
cry mountain village.
y Yours truly,
CARL r. HAUG.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1922-09-06
GEORGE W. PORTER DEAD
Former Well known Resident of De.
corah Passed Away in Mime
apolis.

A. F. Porter arrived home Thurs
day night from Minneapolis where
he had been on the sad mission Of
attending the funeral of his father
which was held there on August rs.
Mr.. Porter was a resident of De-
corah years ago, leaving here in
1882 locating in Minneapolis where
he had been prominent in business
circles for years. The Minneapolis
News gives the following about his
life and death:
Funeral services for the late George
w. Porter who passed away early
Sunday morning, Aug. q, at his
home, 2600 Euclid place, were held
at 3:15 o'cock Monday afternoon at
Lakewood chapel.
The service, which preceded Gre
nation, was simple and the attend
ance signified both the degree and
the wide range of his friendships.
DR.. Marion ID. Shutter of the Church
of the Redeemer, long time friend,
conducted the service, emphasizing
the charm of Mr.. Porter's PERSONAL
ity, his persuasive geniality and his
quality of human fellowship which
inspired him to kindly acts for all
kinds and conditions of men. To
sum up DIR. Shutter quoted from
Worth:
The best portion of a good mans
Life
His little, nameless, unremembered
acts
Of kindness and of love.
The casket was attended by the
following as honorary palbearers:
George H. Partridge, John D. Nc
MILAN, w. A. Lancaster, Edmund
Pennington, E. w. Decker, C. T.
Jaffray, I. B. Jenney, Theodore
Void, w. A. burst, A. C. Cobb, d.
F. Simpson, F. w. Commons, F. C.
Van Dusen and ]. H. Inland of Chi
cago.
George W. Porter was one of the
landmarks of the Minneapolis grain
trade and his genial qualities had won
him host of friends both socially
and in business. Born in Belleville,
Ont, July "a, 1852, he came to Mn
nesota as a young man of 20 and
spent practically his entire business
life of so years in the grain trade in
which he early became a prominent
figure. His earliest Independent con-
,nectiop was. WITH the Pratt-Porter
BECAME pres'dene ~nf
n the EtAttar+ts and the Empire elevator
companies, continuing in this capa-
city until 1899 when he retired. In
1906 he re-entered business as presi-
dent of the Minnekota Elevator Co.,
which he organized and of which he
remained the head till his death. He
was also a director of the North
western National Bank and of the
Minnesota Loan G. Trust Co. His
Chamber of Commerce membership
dates from 1884.
Mr.. Porter was twice married. His
first wife, Adele Field, whom he mar
ried in 1876 at DEBORAH, Iowa, died
- / +
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1922-09-06
To Chicago After Maxwells

j. G. Woldt went to Chicago af.
ter Maxwell cars last Wednesday
night. He has been enjoying a big
sale on Maxwells this season, and il
keeps him hustling to keep enough
cars on his floors here to supply his
customers.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1922-09-06
FreepOrt Methodist Church

Regular service next Sunday after
noon to include Sunday school at l
o'clock; and preaching by the pastor,
Rev. George Woodall, at o'clock.
The public is invited to attend these
services.