davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-17
Discourtesy in Vodvil

Southern hospitality, much
Wanted and much stored, is, l re-
great to say, not conspicuous in the
atres,' said Harry Portman, man.
ager of Loew's Bijou theatre.
"a grave reflection on the men,
bers of a theatre audience is the
prevalent practice of leaving the
house during vaudeville acts. Many
people leave during the last act
purely from habit. They do not
mean to be discourteous to their en-
tertainers or to other people about
them, but the fact is that they are
just as discourteous, and their acts
are just as disturbing and discon-
certing as if they were done for that
purpose.
Vaudeville managers deliberately
changed their feature act from the
middle of the bill to the last of the
bill to keep people from leaving the
theatre in the middle of the last act.
In some places the eypedient was
successful; in others it has not
helped much. l wish that peop.e
could see, that they are doing a
great injustice to everybody else in
the theatre when they leave during
an act. If they do not like the show
it is perfectly all right for them to
leave. but it would be much better
if they would wait until the act in
progress is over. Most people, how.
ever, leave in the middle of the last
oct cr inst after tho last sct has no.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-17
AGE-HERALD, FRIDAY,

doubt that some of the high-handed proceed
ings at Constantinople were the result of the
attitude of the Angora government which
was either attempting to bluff the allies or
felt that it was in a position to be agrees
sive. Possibly the knowledge that the allies
were again showing a united front had some
thing to do with creating more conciatory
feeling among the nationalists. They dis
covered that France was not prepared to
break with England for the sake of Turkish
friendship. That was what the Turks hoped
for and rather confidently expected, it
seems, but they were disappointed Their
demands met with prompt refusal that had
salutary effect. 1t should not be necessary
to tell the Turks that, because they defeated
the Greeks they might defeat the allies. For
a time it seemed as if they thought SO, but
Mustapha Renal Pasha is too intelligent to
run the risk of an open break which would
cause him to lose much that he expects to
win at the Lausanne conference.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-17
A Thou ghtful Waiter
he Chica 20 News.

From the Chicago News.
Lord Halfour praises the walters
that he met in Washington at the
conference on limitation Of arna-
ments, and tells the following story +:
Il was at hotel where all the
walters were colored men. On the
first evening | pushed away the
menu, and gave the waiter coin.
Just bring rae good dinnersuncle,
! said. He brought be an excellent
dinner. | continued this for for
night. When ! left my waiter said
to me, 'Good-by. sab. an good luck,
and when yoh OF any of yoh frien's
ONE here what can't read the menu.
jes ak fob ole Calhoun Clay"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-17
THE VITALITY OF BOOKS

From the Christian Science Monitor.
Whenever a significant book appears, ques-
tons at once fill the air rs it master
piece?" one critic inquiries. "Will it live?"
asks another. 1t is, easy speculation that the
''life" of the ordinary book will be brief; yet
it remains mere speculation, and now and
again the critics go far astray 1t is as true
of books as it is of public persons that they
cannot expect the impartial judgment of
their contemporaries. Conflicting opinions
and prejudice run too holly; for an esti-
mate Of real value, the quoting, melowing
perspective of time is Indispensable
We hear it said by the ill-informed that
Walter Scott is "shelved," that today no one
reads Dickens or Trollope George Eliot;
but here one is on dangerous ground, for
such pronouncement could be dsproved
by reference to any bookseller. Popularity,
too, is won't TO take mad spurts Someone in
fluental discovers 'flair" for George Gis-
sing, and at once collectors take him up and
rout his formerly disregarded first editions
from out the musty corners of secondhand
shops. Look at Max Beerbohm, for exam
pie; recall the amazing vogue for Herman
Melville. Only a little time ago few had
more than bowling acquaintance with their
works; while now these books are at pre-
MUM, and the man with any pretensons as
to literary background who does not know
"Zuleka Dobson" and "Moby Dick" finds
himself the target for jeers and taunts. The
men of the 'nineties are collected today
across two continents; one can never foretell
-Lo H.. Ill ii -,
AS further example of the extraordinary
vitality of books, witness the output of linn
tied and collected editions. A leading New
York publisher has announced new issues of
works of Jane Austen and of the Bronte
sisters; London publisher new editions of
those two altogether delightful studies of
the Russia of century ago. Serge Aksa-
koff's Years of Childhood" and "a Russian
Schoolboy.' Again, on another page of
this paper there recently appeared an ac-
count of what befell an English publisher
who offered to furnish library which had
been opened in his native village. The ex-
perience surprising, and not entirely
flattering to the publisher, as decided pref
erence was shown for the older, established
literature; no work Of fiction belonging to
the last 10 years being chosen On the other
hand such works as David Copperfielda
and even Richardson's pamela" were recip-
tents of many in the local contest; Troll
lope and Whyte Melville were favorites
Motley's Rise of the Dutch Republic" and
Prescott's Conquest of Mexico be ng
named, as well as several volume os which
the prospective donor had never heard.
Thus we are perforce led to the conclusion
that books are always potentially alive. Like
most other experiences of our Oh ngi = h,,-
manity, they come and go, their pop sssr ~
fluctuares; recurring points Of view revive
the conditions which called these works into
being, someone drags them forth into the
light and, behold they are found to have
been triumphantly and continuously alive.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-17
My Favorite Stories
MAKING 1T A SWEEPSTAKES
BY IRWIN 5. COBB

Today's offering is one of my
standbys. Every time hear it
and / hear it on an average OF at
least four times year, like 1t
better. ! hope you feel the same
way about it.
The principal characters are an
Irishman, with red whiskers, and
Hebrew, with black whiskers. They
fall into an argument over the rela-
tive glories of the two great races
they severally represent. It is fin
ally proposed by the Semitic de-
batter that for every great jew ne
names he shall be permitted to pluck
one hair from his adversary-s lace.
For every famous lrishman listed
the other man may claim the trio-
ute of a hair from the Jews beard.
The first to cry enough, or the first
to be entirely denuded, will be the
loser.
A chosen referee gives the signal
| for the start. 1t is the Jews turf
| first.
| Moses" he cries, and yanks
hair from the Irishman's chm.
"Brian Boru," shouts his oppon-
ent.
! abraham"
| est. Patrick"
Baron Hirsh."
Daniel O'Connell."
| "Rothchild."
"John l.. Sullivan"
Inspiration seizes the Hebrew.
I "The Twelve Apostles, be
whoops exultantly. and snatches ia
even dozen auburn hairs from where
they grow.
With triumphant whooroo ne
Irishman fixes both his hands
Hebrews beard:
"The A. @. H.!r' he bellows.
brings away the entire crop.
Copyright 1922, Us The McNauaAr
Syndicate. Inc.)
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-17

THE BRITISH ELECTIONS

British observers, who were at a loss how
TO- forecast the general elections, probably
find themselves equally at loss to interpret
them now that they are over. The conserva-
fives gained majority in the Commons over
Al other parties. the labor party gained %
members. 1t is not remarkable that this gain
i made, for it is all in the congested indus
trial areas of Glasgow and other centers. In
these labor centers the gains were made at
the expense of conservatives and the sup
rosteTs Of Lloyd George. The result need not
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-17
ANYWAY A CLEAN OF HOPE
From the Kansas City Star.

There are those who insist that
the world is steadily retrograding.
Manners and morals they find on
the down grade. They point to the
young person with alarm. Every
young girl nowadays is supposed to
read the questionable novel to de-
terinine whether it is quite proper
for her mother to have.
Very we'll. But a dispatch from
Paris tells of a French novelist,
Leon Daudet, who has withdrawn
from circulation his latest novel as
result Of newspaper >criticisms
hat it was not fit for young people
20 read. A French novelist. Maybe
conditions aren't so bad as had been
supposed.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-17
DIR. Winship Praised

"Dr. Winslip's visit to Birmfng-
ham met with cordial response
from all the people with whom he
came in contact" said DIR. G. B.
Glenn, superintendent of schools. Il
have received many letters and tele-
phone calls from members of lunch
con clubs he addressed. Each one
of them has spoken warmly of the
talks made by DR.. Winship and of
the work he was doing. / feel that
the visit of this man, who is an
authority on matters of education,
was stimulation to the cause of
education in Birmingham.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-17
MOTION PICTURE CENSORSHIP

BY rejecting a censorship bill which would
provide for state regulation Of motion pic
lures the voters of Massachusetts have
recognized the fact that art cannot be bound
by hard and fast set Of rules. Censor
ship Of motion pictures is not the cure. No
ono person or set Of persons is competent
to Judge Of what should or should not be
exhibited on the motion picture screen, pre-
sented on the stage, or printed In books.
Wherever censorship has been tried 1t has
been failure and has invited criticism with
out accomplishing any worthwhile results.
It has gone to such absurd extremes that it
has defeated its own ends and has prevented
the full play Of the creative faculty.
Nothing could be worse for the development
Of an art than that
The agitation for better motion pictures
Il, however, well founded. There are proper
objections to be made, but photoplays have
greatly improved In recent years. They
arc coming moro and more to have a real
educative value and producers have real
lied that they must appeal to the millions
Of motion picture patrons with plays that
have dramatic and literary merit if they
want to retain their popularity, for un-
questionably many motion pictures have de-
served censure. They have exploited sex
and have depended on sensationalism rather
than artistic worth to draw patronage
Motion pictures have been shown on the
screen and, unfortunately, have made
money for their producers, which were de-
basing in their influence on public morals
and an insult to the intelligence of people
who seek mental stimulation as we'll as en-
tertainment in photoplay theatres.
The leaders of the motion picture industry
saw their mistake and their efforts to give
the public better pictures should be en-
couraged. The Improvement in public TASTE
the demand for a superior class of pictures
and the desire of motion picture producers to
comply with the demand may be safely
counted on to eliminate mertricious and
salacious photoplays.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-17
Limitations of a Savant

Professor Diggs has made important dis
coveries on the sites of buried Cities, re-
marked the admiring caller.
eyes, he has, said Mrs. Diggs, with a
sniff. "The professor can find things that
have been lost for thousands of years, but
he can't locate pair of clean socks in a
drawer" PAUL COOK
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-17
Where There's VIII There. Way

Think exclams the Cincinnati En-
quirer, ''what would happen if some one in
vented an amplifier attached to the STILL
small voice of consciencep' Business of
thinking.) Ninety per cent of the popula-
ton would stuff cotton in their ears.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-17
Out of Luck

81 see in the alumni weekly that Bill
Slosher is teaching a little country school
Wasn't Bill ore of our best football
players?"
Eyes. Life is apt to be pretty nard for
prize athlete when he fails to land
coaching job
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-17
In Hotel Lobbies
For Law Enforcement

II was glad that Governor Kilby
did not release Theo. Lacy" said
w b. Cloe, commissioner of public
safety. Il believe it would have been
challenge to law enforcement
everywhere if he had granted the pc
tition for parole. 1t is heartening
to see the governor of the state
standing behind the enforcement of
the law"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-17
All Tuckered Out

From the Macon News.
While the United States railroad
labor board and the railroad EN-
ployes scrap over the definition of
Giving wage" all the rest of US
haven't enough energy left after en-
deavoring to make living wage"
to fuss over what the confoundel
word means.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-17

From the Boston Transcript.
A young man from the city got
permission from Maine farmer to
hunt on his land, and during the day
he got rather close to the home
grounds. At dusk he met the farm
err, who remarked, Had pretty good
luck, eh?"
well, no. said the young nan
hesitatingly. Il haven't had any luck
at ALL"
"Oh, yes, you have" replied the
farmer. "This morning you just
missed my best cow
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-17
LESS TENSION IN NEAR EAST

There IS no longer any Immediate danger
of a rupture between the allies and the Kem-
alist authorities. A note has been received
from the Angora government stating that the
terms of the Mudania agreement will he
respected BY the nationalist, and they will
not insist on the withdrawal Of allied forces
from the zones they now occupy.
Turkish arrogance threatened for a while
to start another war. Mustapha Kemal
Pasha may not have been responsible for the
clashes that occurred, but there can be no
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-17
When Cotton Was Cheap

TTUn L1lt NTGtIVIII6 1uVUCdtSs
Forty years ago cotton was SELL
ing at 9 1-2 cents pound. Since
then it has fluctuated from 4 to 80
cents, and now it is worth around 25
cents, and may go to 80 or 35. Who
knows? People lived at the low
prices and no one starved to death.
Now at the fine prices being paid
they are living in luxury.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-17

From the Opellka News.
Regardless of whether they have
always fully agreed with him in poll
tics, every Albanian will regret to
learn that the condition of Senator
Underwood's health compels him to
give up his position as minority
leader in the Senate, and to place
limit on hard and nerve-racking
work in the future.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-17
The agraphers
1t Wouldn't Mean Anything

From the Chicago News.
Some political party ought te
adopt as slogan, "a full coal bin p
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-17
Treated Like Armenians

From the Kansas City Times.
The enthusiasm with which the
Kemalists are hanging members Of
the anti-nationalist party in Turkey
raises the question whether the
Kemalists don't suspect all their enc
mics of being Armenians.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-17
Suited to Dry Times
From the Savannah News.

From the Savannah News.
There used in the long ago to be Il
saying to the effect that extrava-
gance was like trying to make a
champagne appetite match a beer
income" That has been figuratively
changed. It's now an automobile
appetite on a wheelbarrow salary"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-17
Value Is About the Same

"Pd like to get a little information"
"Well?'
How do the people in Russia tell The diff
ference between a bale of waste paper and
a bundle of rubles?"
"The difference is chiefly typographical
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-17
Adrift With the Times
Addres. to a Gobbier

Strut on, Mister Turkey,
Hold your head up high,
Not for long you'll linger
Where your scornful eye
Roves about the barnyard,
With the blue sky Ger you;
Soon you'll go the journey
Your fathers went before you.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-17
A DIFFERENT CALIFORNIA

From the Houston Post.
California votes to incorporate the eigh-
teenth amendment in the constitution of that
state. Is this the same California that was
going bankrupt because of prohibitions in
reference with the grape-growing industry?
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-17
Stout Heart. Needed

From the Montgomery Advertiser.
Chancellor Wirth says he is look
ing about for stout-hearted man
who can help him to overcome Ger
many's economic and political diff
culties this winter. The world pre-
sents numerous opportunities for
stout-hearted men just now.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-17
Less Petty Crime

'"There seems to be lessening
of petty crimes in Birmingham, !"
said Thomas Christian, assistant
chief of police, chat is quite
noticeable. Several reasons can
be attributed to this but the two
main reasons are first, the employ
ment conditions of today which are
considerably better than last year
and also the more rigid enforce
ment of the vagrancy laws this
year. Another reason for the re-
duction of petty crimes is the
severe dealings with the Migrants
by the court. Last year one could
give a fairly good reason for being
out of work and turned loose, bat
today a complete investigation is
made into the character of the man
and realizing this the Migrants,
who usually become petty larceny
thieves after while, are working
or leaving town."
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-17
1t Stays Put

From the Louisville Herald.
A war debt is annoying, but in
these troubled times it is comforting
to have at least one thing that IS
permanent and unchanging.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-17
Alabama Press

What They Stand For
From the Dneonta Southern DEM
Ocra.
From the Oneonta Southern DEM
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-17

The packers are seeking an additional
merger. There is no doubt of the economy of
operation resulting from such combines. The
question of Importance, however, is whether
the public will benefit from the economies
effected, or whether, as usual, it will be at
the mercy of whatever price fixing the mer-
ger may lead to. Those who criticise so
much government in business would do well
not to adopt and follow such business policy
as invites government Intervention.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-17
Good Banks in Madison

From the Huntsville Times.
The biggest and best asset for any
community in a financial way is its
successful banking activities. In this
regard, Huntsville and Madison
county stand at the head of the list
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-17

Some of the people who have tried to
scrape an ecquintance with Clemenceau on
shipboard have discovered why he is called
the "Tiger"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-17
A WAY OUT

From the Cincinnati Enquirer.
Kansas school teachers, who are forbidden
to ure tobacco in any form by the state SUI
narintendent of education, are reported to
have taken to smoking the new Scent cigars
as a substitute.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-17

From the New Orleans Times-Pica-
yune.
Every third farm in the United
States has an automobile so we
read. Two of the three, therefore,
have no autos, but one probably has
filling station and the other a
roadhouse.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-17
The Pork Barrel

From the San Antonio Express.
How shall we spend that $50, 000,-
600 which Great britain pays US
gild the capitol dome or buy each
congressman a new automobile?
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-17
The saddest Thing About Women

woman's clothes, says an authority,
should follow her curves And if she q ,esn't
happen to have any curves they should by
all means conceal her angles.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-17
Little Stories
A Prescription
From the Detroit News.

From the Detroit News.
/ A man who is as mean as he is
wealthy is fond of getting advice for
nothing.
Meeting the doctor, he said:
81 am on my way home, doctor.
| feel very frazzleo and worn out
generally. What ought to take?''
A taxi came the curt reply.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-17

From the Fort Payne Journal.
Dissatisfaction with the manage
ment of public affairs, both state
and county, is said to be contrib
uting cause to the democratic defeat
in this county.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-17
MELANCHOLY THOUGHTS

From the New Orleans Times-Pica
yune.
The London Geological Gardens
raise the question as to what the Gle
plant thinks ABOUT. Just now he's
thinking about the cyclone Of No
vember Z.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-17
Cermany,s Hand Is Out

From the Tuscaloosa News.
Germany seems to have changed
her old demand for place in the
sun to the plea that the world owes
her a living.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-17
Second Fiddle

II want to marry you"
You'd better speak to mother"
isn't it customary to speak to father?"
mot in this houseH
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-17

"The hour has GOMEZ said member of
the French Senate, for US no longer to be
afraid of women" How did the term the
weaker sex" originate, anyhow?
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-17

"Bobbed hair must CO." is the latest
ukase from the hair-dressers, who ignore
the fact that the length of human hair
can't be regulated overnight.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-17

Poetry magazines not only contrive to
exist, but they pick up little advertising
Americans can no longer be called nation
of barbarians.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-17

The Turk is a willy creature. He showed
signs of violating the Mudania conventions,
perhaps relying on allied disunion r.o
sooner had the threat of war appeared, how
ever, than the powers united as promptly
as drops of quicksilver and became so COM
pete as to show no seams of union. Then
the Turk blandly stated that he would obey
the conventions A display of superior force
is an argument entirely convincing to the
Turk. The powers should remember this.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-17

From the Huntsville News.
The Lions have organized in
Montgomery. What about the
Tigers?
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-17

The Turks have decided to be good
probably just for change.