The Delta independent., 1922-07-21

come in mighty handy to break open
those sticking windows that you can
never open in hot weather.
The prospects for the fall political
campaign are that the American peo-
pie are going to get the earache.
The piece work system is not popu-
lar. as it fails to provide time enough
to look out of the window and discuss
sporting news.
The politicians who are looking for
pork appropriations, complain that
the budget bureau won't bulge.
If the Germans want place in the
sun, they are welcome to it in the
beet fields of Colorado about now.
The suicide club used to be largely
restricted to hanging, drowning, and
poison, but now they are provided
with speeding automobiles and
hootch.
Some people seem to think there
is more money in publishing aids to
beauty than in selling cook books.
The farmers can't see why the
boys want a golf course when hoeing
corn gives such splendid exercise.
Inc HAL W ho 10 OCdtih6 thC rug
should not make SO much noise as to
drown out the girl who is taking
Many people who are looking for a
soft spot find it in the ditch as the
result of speeding their automobiles.
Crops said to need good soaking
rains, anyway the consumer who is
buying food stuffs is getting soaked.
The anti-third term movement has
not yet interfered with the matri-
monial enterprises of many divorced
couples.
One way to get things done in
Congress, would be to send only
deaf and dumb people as representa-
tives.
Some folks are looking for the mil
lenium. but others will be satisfied
merely when the apple pie season
opens.
Modern painting is not realistic
enough SO that the cows have eaten
the canvasses thinking they were
real grass.
Some folks in Delta feel it would
be useless to hoe the garden, as the
weeds will all grow again in couple
of weeks.
The boys who are invited to work
in the garden, think it is dangerous
to get into a perspiration in hot
weather.
You can't expect the girls to help
their mothers about the housework.
as it would spoil their pretty summer
dresses.
The country did not buy as many
shoes as usual last year, but the
leather was needed to make automo-
bile tops.
the affections of the girls, but to win
the heart of the kids you must of
fer them cut pie.
There are 100000 more men than
women in this country. Looks as If
many of them support themselves
without assistance.
Some people are exemplifying the
Back to the Soil movement, by plac-
ing their easy chairs in a shady spot
on the lawn.
The people who have to quit work
the instant the clock strikes, are u.s.
ally able to stay at the ball game for
the extra innings.
The hide tariff may interfere with
the leather business, but anyway
there are plenty of leatherheads in
this country.
The literature professor says the
pupils should study style, and any
way the girls of Delta spend much
time on the fashion plates.
Still another thing called for in
these times, is less road dust on the
motor routes, and more sawdust
around the sawhorse.
II a congressman makes speeches,
he is accused of playing politics and
If he doesn't make any. they say he
is doing nothing.
The man whose hip pocket is dis
tended by a flask, may find that his
vest pocket is amply sufficient to
hold his thin purse.
It used to be said there is always
room at the top, but now the upper
air is all jammed with conflicting
radio broadcasting.
There is a general demand for
world harmony. but up to date the
powers have all been trying to sing
| solos at the same time.
Considering all the talking that is
being done in Congress. 1t would seem
as il many OF our statesmen were in
danger of getting throat trouble.
II the girls wear their hair long
they are slammed for their big puffs
but If they cut 1t short. they are
slammed for its bushy appearance.
The tractor may help the farmer
cultivate his crops, but the boys have
not found 1t satisfactory to take
their best girls to ride in after supper
After confiscating many millions