The Brunswick news. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 1906-2016, 1922-11-02
If YOU DON'T RAISE APPLES,
KEEP AWAY FROM YOUR NEIGH
BORIS CIDER BARREL
"a Fable Excuse of 'orange-Ade)
(By Jno. w. Simmons, President
Board of Trade,)


Board of Trade,)
Once upon time there was a
small Village, with a Forward Look,
but no Upward Gaze This Village
Prospered, Suffered. Waxed. and then
Waned, as Provincial Towns are
wont to do, Getting weary of the
Topic of Hard Times. when the
white pine supply got low, Few
of its Leading Citizens quit their
whiting. and organized Board of
Trade, where They could take stock
of their Pooled Civic Resources,
Capitalize their common advantages,
and raise yell for Recognition be-
yond the confines of their local hori.
zon.
All during this time, and long be
fore the Park Well was bored for the
Elixer of Youth, sundry visitors to
this Charming Little City," and
former Residents who had Moved
Away to escape Ennui and Tales of
Woe, regularly gave Interviews
through the columns of the Town
Tattler. in which "Innumerable Ad-
yantages, Magnificent Natural Re
sources, God-Given Preferments in
Location, etc." were continually ex-
tolled. 1t was noted however, that
None of the Aforesaid manifested
any desire to sit in the Local Game,
b cause the Kitty was Fed too often.
After the Organization of the Com
mercial Body the small Bunch of
P. C. IS realized that the Burg had
been without Long Distance Comm
ication for Quite a Spell. In fact.
The Front Door had been locked and
the Key Lost. while the family pot
tered around in the Back Yard look
ing for Angle Worms which to do
the Daily Fishing. Family Prayer
and the Opening Whoop ended, the
l.. C.'s gathered a few more of Like
Inclinations and shelled out some
real Shekels, saved from the last
Boom, showed them into the pot, sum
moned Referee, and bet ON the Old
Home Town.
A few Patrons patted the backs
of the Martyrs, then went off and
Traded with the Mind Your Own
Business Society because the Patrons
time was SO valuable they could not
wait for the adjournment of the City
Builders Directorate. Quite num-
Der of the Inhabitants suddenly be
came deaf and dumb when. the vocie
of Civic Pride spoke; while others
took special pride in eating from the
same Pewterware used by their
grandfathers. The Chariot of Prog
ress ran like q New Ford for Quite
a Spell Even the Traffic Cops gave
1t Wide Berth while the bunch on
the Side Walk Yelled, but paid for no
Gas or Oil.
The Society for the Almegamation
of GetTherGneas had considerable
trouble in getting enough to Pay the
Chauffeur. ar1 The Chancellor of the.
Exchequer Raised a Warning just
about time the First Apple Crop
was Gathered The Hammer-Toters
Union wanted to Be Shown, and the
Map was spread on the Table. The
Mind Your Own Business Society
brought in bunch of Sore Noses,
showing that the Old Grind Stone
was still in Working Order, and de
cried the Fact that it Took (Other
People's) money to Finance the Crop
The Golden Fluid filled Quite
Heap o. Barrels, and when the
SFAGTness met there were no
Strings On the Invitation to the
Spigot. While the Talk of the New
Planting of Apple Sapplins went
round, the HTS Union and the MY
OBS were discovered with straws
throufh the Bung sucking for Dear
Life.