Phoenix tribune., 1922-05-06

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feelins. You"
"A-r-r-rh = snarled MeGuffey.
You two belay taikin' and snappin'
at each other" commanded Mr.. Glib
ney, "an' leave all bargainin' to me.
This boy is all right and wen get
along first rate if you two just haul
ship and do somethin' useful besides
buttin' in on your superior officer.
Come along, Tabu-Tabu. Makee little
eat down in cabin. You talkee cap
tain"
"Gib, my dear boy" sputtered Cap
tain Scraggs, bursting with curiosity,
following the commodore's reappear-
ance on deck, "whatever's in the
wind?"
'Money-fortune, said Mr.. Gibney,
solemnly.
McGuffey edged up and eyed the
commodore seriously. "Sure there
amt little fghtin' mixed up in it?"
ne asked
NOT a bit of it." replied Mr.. Gibney.
You're as safe on Kandavu as If you
was in church. This Tabu kid Is sort
OF prime minister to the king, with a
heap of influence at court. The crew
of British cruiser stole him for a
galley police when he was a kid, and
he got civilized and learned to talk
English. He was a cannibal in them
days, but the chaplain aboard showed
him how foolish it was to do such
things and finally Tabu-Tabu got re-
ligion and asked as a special favor to
be allowed to return to Kandavu to
civilize his people. AS a result of
Tabu-Tabu's efforts, he tells me the
king has concluded that when he eats
a white man he's flynn in the face Of
his own interests, and most generally
a gunboat comes along in a few months
and shells the bush, and-well, any
how, there amt been a barbecue on
Kandavu for ten years. It's a capital
crime to eat man now, and punish
able by boilin' the offender alive in
palm OIL"
'Well," rumbled McGuffey, "this
Tabu-Tabu don't look much like a
preacher, if you ask me. But how
about this black coralP
"Oh, I've ribbed up a deal with
him." said Mr.. Gibney. Hell see
that we get all the trade we can lug
away. We're the first vessel that's
touched here in two years, and they
have thunderin' lot of stuff on hand.
Tabu's gone ashore to talk the king
into doin' business with us. If he
consents, Wen have him and Tabu-
Tabu and three or four of the sub
chiefs aboard for dinner, or else he'll
invite us ashore for q big feed, and
wen have to CO."
"Supposin' the king don't care to /
have any truck with us?' inquired Nc
Guffey, anxiouSly.
in that case, Mac" replied the
commodore with a smile, "well justl
naturally shell him out of house and
home"
We'll, then" said McGuffey, 'Iet's
get the guns ready. Sonethin' tellsl
me these people amt to be trusted, |
and I'm tellin' you right now, Glib, II
won't sleep well tonight unless them
two quarter gatlings and the Maxim
Vickers rapid-tire guns is mounted andI
ready for business"
"All right, Mac" replied Mr. Glib
ney in the tone one uses when humor-
ing baby. "Set 'em up If it'll make
you feel more cheerful. Still, / don't |
see why you want to go actin so fool |
ish over nothin'."
well, Glib" replied the engineer, 81
may be crazy, but l amt no fool, and
If there's dead whale around thel
ship, can come pretty near smellin'
it. tell you, Glib, that Tabu-Tabu
niger had look in his eye for all /
the world like cur dog licSin' a bone.
| amt takin' no chances. My old man
used to say: Bart, whatever you do,
alters have an anchor out to wind
ward"
by the left hind leg of the Greatl
Sacred Bull" snapped Captain Scraggs.
IF you amt enough 20 precipitate
war;"
War" replied McGufrey, "is my
long suit--particularly war with native
hsserS JUST naturally crave to
punch the ear of anything darker than
a Portugee. Remember how | cleaned
out the police department of Panama"
"Mount the guns if you're goin' to,
Mac. If not, for the love of the Lord
don't be demoralizin' the crew with
this talk Of war. All l ask is that you
set the guns after I've finished my
business here with Tabu-Tabu. He's
been on war vessel, and knows what
guns are, and If he saw you mountin'
them it might break up our friendly
relations. He'll think we don't trust
him."
well, we don't" replied McGuffey,
doggedly
well, we do" snapped Captain
Scraggs.
There is always something connected
with the use of that pronoun of kings
which eats like canker at the heart
of men of the MeGuffey breed. That
officer now spat on the deck, in def
ance of the rules of his superior Off