Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1922-08-16

X X
You're Right
What do you think of Czecho-Slo-
vokia ?"
"Well, it's hard to say"
Why don't somebody mark these in
sernational booze highways or does
everybody know EN-? Somebody
suggest a symbol.
The Name
San phwat are We thinkin' of call
lin the bit Of baby, Mrs. Kelley?"
'"I'm not entoirly sure yet, but
think Wen be after havin' her chris
teed Hazel"
@And are We daft, Mrs. Kelley?
Here's all the saints in Hivin with
beautiful names for ye-an' yer nam
in her after a mutt"
y y y .
Always forgive an enemy If you
can't lick him.
The other day | was IN a candy
store when a friend of mine entered.
He stood at the counter where the al
monds and pecans were on display, and
after waiting ten minutes for waiter
to appear, he yelled, Here! here! who
waits on the nuts ?"
Instantly a girl shouted back to
him, I'm wait on you in Just minute"
< 4 4 X
There is no dog in dog biscuit, so
why should we expect chicken in chick
en- pie?
Smiiss
"It's easy enough to be pleasant
When life flows by like song;
But the man worth while
Is the man who can smile
When everything goes dead wrong"
X X
Every dog has his day, but the dog
with the sore tail, has his weakened.
4 X
"Any insanity in your family 2"
asked the insurance doctor of Mrs.
Suffragist.
"Well, no, only my husband imagin-
es he is the head of the house"
X x
CARBOHYDRATES your idea of nice,
clean sport?
Swimming.
X
Good Position Proposition
Dad: Tommy, if you'll saw some
wood I'll tell you what I'll do"
Bill: whats that, dad ?"
Dad: an let you have the saw
dust to play circus with"
y A.
What tickles us are those women
haters with seven suits of clothes.
From a SchoOlboy's Essay on Soap
"Soap is a kind of stuff made in
cakes what you can't eat. 1t smells
good and tastes orful. Soap always
tastes worst when you get it in your
eye. Father says the Eskimose don't
never use soap. wish | was an Es-
kimose."
y Y n n
Only in France, Dearie
When the sexes have equal rights,
will the men wear gardens on their
hats and kiss each other when they
meet?
X X X X
A snake sneaked into police head
quarters at Toledo, Ohio and bit Chief
Harry Jennings. And there's no cure
for it now.
| A tenderfoot, who was at western
fort when an Indian attack was ex-
pected, approached the commanding
officer and asked, Say, Colonel, which
was the worst Indians, the hostile ones
or the ones who go on foot"
College Humor
Black: "Why are you looking so
worried ?"
Jack: Il just lost $4,000 in a poker
game"
Black: "Good I.ordl"
Jack: "Yes, and the hell of it is
$25 was cash."
She (critically)---I never could see
much in those crepe de chine dresses
He (also a critic -Ah, my dear
but you never looked at them in the
right light
People who live in glass house:
| should not take saxophone lessons.
K 4 \
A proud young father photographed
the news of his happiness to his bro
! Their in these words: "A handsome
how has come to my house and claim:
to be your nephew. We are doing oul
best to give him a proper welcome"
The brother, however, failed to SCI
,, the point and wired back: Il have M
nephew; the young man is an impos
tor"
In the next political campaign ey
erybody is sure to get some appoint
ment, if only disappointment.
!.
5 The Success Family
4 The father of Success is Work-th,
mother of Success is Ambition-th
!. oldest son is Common Sense. Som
4 of the other boys are Perseverance
D Honesty, Thoroughness, Foresight
Enthusiasm and Cooperation. Tn
: oldest daughter is Character Some o
: the sisters are Cheerfulness, Loyalty
Courtesy, Care, Economy, Sinceret,
and Harmony. The baby is 0ppor
{ tunity. Get acquainted with the sol
: man" and you viii be able to get alonI
: pretty we'll with the rest of the family
X
: Lamp the Vamp
n Curses on thee, little "Vamp,"
3 With thy fascinating lamp,
4 With thy little sawed off skirt,
And abbreviated shirt;
o With thine arms and shoulders bare
: And thy limbs at which | stare,
! With thy form so full of life,
s i sure almost forgot my wife.
"Poor darling You must have bee
R frightened to death when the burgla
broke into your room"
?. "Frightened's no name for it; wa
dressing"
q "How embarrassing; what did 20
d do?"
n aoh, he was a gentlemen burglal
d he covered me with his revolver"
l. y y - -