, 1922-09-16
Issues and Themes

How all OF those carly denlaIs an
patient drudgeries came back TO me
as I o. in the senate OF tn. United
States last winter and heard Jim
Reed win the long distance heel an
toe talkin' championship OF tho world.
leactn' his closest rival by five days
ySteen our an' forty seven min
utes no time taken out for IDEAS"
Thus speaks Uncle Henry in Golfers
Weekly,
Il didn't set out to Missouri for
the campaign. but they tell me Jim
was In are form b~roadcastin'
further than tile most powerful radis.
The words aren't all in yet, but Il
looks as though Jim woulG lead by
several billion. Brock Long put up
a good fight. Slt 1 knew from the
first he nev had a chance. No
knowledge of politics at ALI Went
into the race all loaded down with
semfcolons an P~=-czheses an
periods instead OF strippin' down TO
the last comnSal Moreover, he
hasn't got the right sort Of tongue.
It's got a mental attachment, an
that's fatal.
ITO be a success IN political life
my boy, you've got to have a self
startin' tongue runnin' under its own
motive power. Reeds go one. I've
seen him set It off. an then 20 back
TO the hotel for a nap, an when he'd
return the hall would be filled with
words. an enough runnln' out Of the
windows TO take care OF the over
flow meetin.'
"AcCordips 20 rora-4. u -
what they'd always Ahad, an that's
what they wanted. Jes' used his ole
records without the slightest chang
Sometimes he'd have to give as many
as ten encores after playin' When
God Poured Out the Mix. the Cream
Ran over an That Was Missouri
When some low Long partisan would
ask him why Il was that he'd V
advanced a constructive suggestion
durin' his whole twelve years in the
senate. JiDS would merely put on
America givin' IT with fun drum
an fife accompaniment. never skip
pin q single rock or wood an tenn
pied hill, an endin' up on a high G
that jes' scattered the crowned heads
of Europe all over the place. That
was another place where Long
showed himself a rank amateur in
politics. Never once mentioned tho
monarchs of the Old World. or of
fered TO oppose their %tyrannies with
his bare breast.
Nov an then a rude voice would
ask about Jim's consistent antagon-
ism to every law for the protection CT
women an children. but he'd les,
turn loose a four hours grafton on
motherhood that was as fine as
though he'd been one. Thinkin' back.
1 reckon I liked the Motherhood rec.
ord as well as any Jim ever put on.
Takin' h baby in the cradle. a rose
petal fallen from heaven, he'd follow
the little N right through the pratt
tie of infancy an the dreamin' days
o. adolescence on into womanhood
with its high responsibilities, ush-
erin in the dawn of love with a
shower OF bird notes. sinkin' his voice
to a whisper as he tolls OF a new life's
comm, pullin' out the tremolo plug
with both hands as he worked UP to
the torment of travail, an finIshan'
with a burst OF brass that told Of
triumphant birth. An all the while
poor old Long was tryin' to talk
issues.
n question about Jim's sena-
torial recor bein' pretty sad. Ma
turally enough, the people were a
good deal irrltated but you ought to
have seen irritation turn over an
purr when Jim tuned up an started
off on the soft sensuous strains OF
The Beautiful Blue Osaget shere
wasn't a dry foot left In the state.
His great symphony. based on ma.
tive themes. such as the pawpaw an
hominy. soothed the most save go
beast. an when he reached the u
lin brooks an bosky deIls motif,
bearded men jes' threw their heads
back an bayed like soon dogs.
"In bet you hat right now they're
Cryin' Jim's speeches an hangin' EN-
in muslin bags from the rafters for
use this winter. You can smoke 'em,
chew 'em, sniff EN-, dip 'em, an after
you get used to the bitter taste, the
results are surprisin.' OF course
they stunt growth, but you know
what a habit is.
There are also other features
about Jim's denomination that please
me no little. For one thing, Il proves
that the poorest professional is still
better than the best amateur. When
the news came in tina the country
districts were rollin' up a big ma
jority against Jim. I only srinned.
for I knew hat the boys of the river
wards In st. Louis an Kansas City
were simply waiting until they
learned what was expected of EN-.
There's more to an election than
mere votin', my boy, for, as an cni-
inent American once said: L care
not who casts the votes OF q nation
IL they'll let me make the count"
NOTICE.