The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1922-01-26
ORR Tnnthatnttr
HERE LIES MANS ANCIENr ENKMY.
DILL CARE
VINO IDENTITIES TEE Usu0vkD cUsa
| HEWARRf

II WHO p.s.sr..s tn. UsL0vED OUsA
WHEN YOU begin to understand me- Wat
son, then / shall know that the end has come" "
or words to that effect That land we trust
we are making ourself clear) is what we might
say to Eteocles il we had eatty disposition
which We haven't
We are going to quote part of a paragraph
paragraph of which we were the author; and
q paragraph which Eteocles declared was
meaningless to him. Attention:
Almost were we persuaded to adj
dress fattering paragraph to ScamozI
when Eteocles made anything we might
say the damnation of faint praise by ex-
claiming: That fellow is a regular
P. ID. ST."
Granting that we applied the reverse Eng
lish when we pushed our paragraphic cue. is the
sentence as unintelligible as Eteocles claims
What say. Scamozzi? Did we, register with
you? Perhaps Friend Rig, who went to the
Mirneclty to learn 'em English, will tell us
whether we had our English on straight
GOSH! ARE YOU THE BIRD THAT GAVE
THAT BRAVE ANIMAL STORY TO
B. l. T. YEARS AGO?
Dear Mac: CHANGING casually through the
Streator Independent Times / noted the fol-
lowing and trust you will give them space q
don't mean give them a wide berth, l mean
space in the coIyum), but if my trust is mis-
placed perhaps you would like to read them
aloud some evening in the buzzom Of your
family.
Those of us who heard the U. of I. band
will be Mortified to learn that burglars have
no respect for an institute of learning They'll
be lifting the library next ATTENDED!
Mrs Alfred Defenbaugh has received
word from her son, Charles, that the
University of Illinois was under quar-
antine for scarlet fever, but the band
was lifted today
'Mr Wallace Daugherty is in the
hospital in Streator for X-ray exam
inatioI. SMufug anf-ihtGCMF'W."
Personally, 1 didn't understand this last
Is it what he had or what he said?
On the front page in large bold-faced or
black-faced Cor whatever 1t isl type Qf it is
that l was assured that Tagore Warns
Against Pact. OF course the nights are cold.
but have no little pact in my home SO how
kin l warm myself agin it, ask you?
In closing, as the ministers say-and that
reminds me: once at a revival meeting l heard
minister give a closing, illustrative story
about dog that was sent out into the storm
to gather in some lost sheep, or bring father
home from the saloon, or something; anyway
the minister said. ~At gesture from his mas
ter the brave animal arose, without a word.
and went out into the night" l snickered
audibly and then wept tears OF rage and hu-
initiation because only two in the congregation
showed any signs of mirth. Let's see
a.,
present cheerful thought for todays con-
temptation:
Did you ever think as the years roll round,
That some day well all be under the ground:
And the parson and choir will make fuss
Ger what's left when our friends get through
with US;
And friend and foe will shed tear
Side by side DER the funeral bier-or beer,
When we're dead?
LIE MoQUEUR
FRIENDS. Romans, countrymen. lend us
your ears! The harmful element in cigarets
is furfural. "ooloriess. aromatic, volatile oily
compound, gradually 6arkening which is
formed by distilling bran. starch, sugar, etc.
with sulphuric acid" Lucy Page CASTOR says
SO. Now, lend us q match and a cigaret-
SERUMS.
The flesh is weak and puny man
Has been assailed since time began
With ills that slay and main.
horde OF germs pervade the air
Which never cease to do their share
And wreck his little game.
And so to tight these bugs that kill
There is a cure for every ill.
To be shot in mans arm
Yes, ne must have his vaccine thick
Injected in his veins when sick
To break the microbes charm
I wonder what Grandma would say
II she could be alive today,
And see how boneset tea
Was known to be in disrepute,
And how vaccine substitute
Bids onion strip fee!
What would the dear old lady do
On being told that it was true,
That when we have chill:
Instead OF good old Quinine we
HE to our doctor quick for he
Has serum for each ill!
JAY G. SIGMUND.
MARY GARDEN says men are cats Nav
We commend to Mary re-reading of 1.-THE
Passionate Professor? Mayhap twill console
her to learn that after dark all cats are
gray.
BUT WE, ALAS! ARE NO SOCRATES
Sir: Willie thumbing some ancient clippings
from Socrates column, Tho STEELE" in the
Athens Tribune, came upon a series of items
which seem to be the ancestors of the fiat
wheel street car jokes AS this subject seems
to be quite popular with the clientele. hermit
ME to submit compendium of the discussiop
as follows: 1t appears that Xenophon. one of
Socrates eminent contribs. planned to attend