The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1922-10-26
Dorothy DIX Talks
Women and Weddings-2.
BY DOROTHr DIE
Weesa's Hfghesa Paid Woman WFissg

women and Weddings.
Another reason given for mothers
desiring their daughters to marry, but
not their sons. is voiced in the old
saw that says my sons my son It'll
! he gets him n wife. but my daughters
my daughter ali of her life"
Undoubtedly this is true to a large
extent. Women seldom go to their
husbands families. Men nearly always
go to their wives families. 1t is the
daughters who care for the old par
ents, and more men are supporting
their in-laws than are taking care of
their own fathers and mothers.
But think that the reasons moth
ers feel so differently about their
sons and daughters marriage is be-
cause no woman ever quite loves her
| tween mother and daughter is the re-
pulsion of the same sex. Between
mother and son is the attraction of
difference in sex. Mothers and
daughters clash because their inter-
ests and occupations are the same.
Mothers and sons live in harmony be-
cause their lives flow in separate
channels. Besides, a mother under
stands that the love her daughter
gives a husband is not the love she
gives her mother, but no woman can
comprehend that her son gives his
WlL0 u Inherent aIIeCIlOn from CnaC
he bestowS upon his mother. Thus
| it is that mothers are consumed with
a frantic and futile jealousy when
they see the manchild they have
borne, and worshipped, putting an
other woman before them in their
hearts. :.
The chief reason, however, why
women are eager to marry off their
daughters is because they are still
bound by the old superstition that
girl is somehow, safe and sheltered
from the storms of life when she gets
married. Much evidence to the con-
trary does not seem to shake this
child1ike faith in matrimony, tho
probably no two weddings in a hun
dred end like the fairy tale land they
| lived happily ever after"
Possibly mothers own marriage is
nothing but bitter warning against
the perilS of the holy estate, never
theless she is eager to have her girls
try it on the off-chance they may
happen to draw a prize in the lottery
and not a blank. Very often a wom-
an offers up her daughter as a living
| sacrifice to her pride. She feels that
there is a certain stigma to her
daughter being an old maid-that it
shows that the girl lacked charms and
attractions that other girls possess,
| and SO she nags the poor creature in
to marrying the first man who comes
along.
Many women frankly say that a bad
| marriage is better than no marriage
at all. They have no idea of life
apart from domesticity, and imagine
| the woman without a husband and
| children is miserable. They DO not
! know that it is only the exceptionally
fortunate married woman who is as
| happy, as prosperous, and as free as
her unmarried sister, who has her
career, her good job, her financial
! independence. and her million and one
| interests in the world.
No one can argue FOR a moment
! that the Kind of marriages that are
made in heaven-the real mating of
| a man and woman whom God in
tende& for each other, and who give
| to each other a love, and sympathy,
and comradeship that never fails
| the happiest lot in life. If every
mother could secure that for her
daughter, she would be right in maxi
| ing every effort to get it for her.
| But why want her to marry, Just to
be a-marrying? And if the rewards
| of the ideal marriage are so great,
why not be equally keen on them for
| son?
| Nobody knows Not even the moth
er herself. She only knows that as
| she bends above NAMES cradle she
married in brocaded white satin, and
real lace. and that as she walks
Tommy with the collie she is hating
the unborn girl who will some day
| be his wife.
For that's the way with mothers.
|