davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1922-07-02
An Intellectual Abb
By James ]. Montague

, laugh because it's got a funny
BOUNDING name.
IF YOU could have changed the
picture every place it showed so
that 7 could have said Painted Post
instead OF Tuckahoe when &c was IN
Rochester. and Oskaloosa when il
was in Des Noines. 80 wouldn't have
Topped. That line alone would have
carried IL,
"Eou movie managers haven't any
idea how hard we comedians work
20 get that local stuff. how we pore
over railroad timetables. studying
geography. and talk 20 hotel clerks
about who is the head in the Elks
and Eagles and who is the chief Of
police AID the richest man In the
Gown
"Au that stuff gets over in wood
veei and gets over big. Put It into
ce-lu,oid can and what becomes Ct
10 IL loses all ITS flavor, that's what
becomes ~ %. Il goes dead on US.
Too Good 60 bc Put in Cans.
'Why I've had two day engage
meut when I was on the small time
extended 20 three weeks and every
performance riot SIMPLY because
I got new local names into my lines
every trip. What can YOU do in a
small town when YOU can only use
names that the audience hasn't
heard Of. even by word OF mouth?
This picture Topped and every
good comedy is going 10 flop for the
same reason. The audience can't
get us-they can't understand our
stuff when IL has TO be the same
for every town.
How can a man on the stage
make cracks about the bold heads
In the audience, or kid the ladies
that come IN without taking of their
hats. or come back at the smart
aleclc ki6s that pull fresh stuff from
the galleries?
That's what got me big rep.
That's what gets all US inspired
comedians our rep. We're too good
20 DE put in cans and sold out
around the country.
What you need I'm this picture
game is not so much OF this two
gun rough stuff; they're used TO
that Tt amt so much of this sex
stuff, they're getting off Of that, and
they're getting off of it faster, since
your big stars began pulling it in
their private lives and getting the
wrong kind of publicity on Il.
You've got 20 make your films
flexible. You've got 10 have little
studios I'm your distribution centers
where the artist can bring his
bright original stuff and have Il
cut into the films.
That's whatu save you, and its
the only thing that will save you.
New York is so big that YOU can get
the local stuff for It out here and
send it along. but the New York stuff
is bust In Kankakee, you can bet on
that.
CAS- for me. YOU didn't need Ia
refuse me another contract. I'm go
ing back to Vodeveel. Personality
and the art OF getting up your own
+ stuff impromptu counts there. I'm
lost In the movies 1 knew I would
be. I'm sorry 7 ever went into itr
(Copyright 1920
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1922-07-02
Short Furious
Our Jury System
BIZ Kin Hubbard

an aged harness maker. Tn re-
voiver that killed Bentley wuz
owned by a well dressed promoter
that tn victim didn' even Know.
When Bentley EFT his post az tn
o. X. film station Q 20 home FER
his pipe he left a half eaten egg
sandwich which showed that he ex-
pected E return. But Mrs. Bentley
- a pruty. dashln' woman an WIZ
turned loose agin on tn community.
TIL country IS fun o. husband
slayers enjoyin' Their freedom. while
men an youths O. wealth an In
fluence pick of ther victims with
lmpunity tn public. when = reads
a crime. don't have no trouble pick
in tn murderer. Anybudfly that kin
put two an two t'Eether kin
usually figure at tn usual murder
mystery Il seems 2 US that our
celebrated jury system IS test
scheme Z let an outra ged public
down easy. som etfues a murderer
is acquitted right or tn hat. an
sometimes he has q doll up an
keep his hair combed purity fer two
and three trials. an then he goes
free out o. money. o. course. buzz
free WhenI we ever have q jury
o. saddlers. truck drivers. loafera
alleged farmers. an other open
minded, non-readln' people. thatI
have tn nerve & send handsome
tigereSes. injured adventuresseS an
prominently connected an well G.
do uurderers e tn chair or hal
ter? Even IN widely scattered cases
where some slayer IS unfortunate
enough Z be sent 2 prison. our par
ole system bur I've already ex-
ceeded tn time allotted me-"
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1922-07-02
PRICES SOARING ON
WYOMING WOOL CLIP
Sheepherders Mourn Passing
of Trading in Old-Timc
Booze faunts.

CASPER. Wo., July 1.-The pass
ing OF the old-time sheep shearer
whose itinerary followed the seasons
from the Mexican border 20 the
Canadian line in the Western states
was revealed here during one of tha
greatest wool sales ever conducted
in Natrona County. Wyo.
The phenomenal rise this year in
the price Of Wyoming wool has
brought with fl a college education
to the erstwhile happy go-lucky
sheep business and tons OF statistics
and reports for the edi1cation OF the
once genial sheepherder.
Last spring better grade wool
brought an average OF Il cents
a pound: this season similar grades
are selling for 40 cents a round
Agricultural experts say the ma
ton faces a wool and mutton short
age. and eastern buyers are hurry
ing TO the Wyoming market 20 se-
cure their supply.
In the old days. when spring was
far on the way and the green range
was dotted with ewes and fat lambs.
the range man moved his flock into
"a blade" plant, where shearers
ripped feeces swiftly from the
sheep. Many OF these shearers gain
ed fame for their speed. and at
times thousands Of dollars were
wagered on sheep-shearing races.
And while the shearing was in
progress the owner and the wool
buyer adjourned 10 a shady nook.
and the wool was sold. no thought
/ Of various breeds. shrinkage and
other bothersome items. II was
worth from 10 TO IS cents a round.
and wool was Just wool.
This year the greater portion Of
the central Wyoming clip. amount
ing TO several million pounds. has
been collected in giant pools" The
herds are sheared i'm great. airv.
clean sheds. where careful workers
take off the wool Boys carefully
gather and tie up the snow-gvhite
fleeces. Stray particles fall upon
hardwood floors ut for bathrooms
Checkers carefully weigh and tabu-
late the grade. Old-time herders ut
in the shade until the ttr3e comes 30
take their hleaters back to the
range.
The WTor ing clip has been ur-
der the suDe vision 81 DR. John n
wool specialist. OF the University ~
Wyoming who submits an analy=F
Of the quality shr,nkaee and dirt
/ or grease content Of each separate
clip Based on Or HIS report the
sheep owners make their prices for
the various grades ~ wool
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1922-07-02

Is our jury system hzzls?"
asked Hon. Elk Editor Gale Flu
hart. last evenin'. IN stirrin'
address before tn Swine Breeders
Association. AT NIelodeon Hall tn
speaker talked at great length on
tn Try Bentley KILN. an how his
wife shot him. how tn case wuz
tried after lt WIZ forgotten, how
Mrs. Bentley sat an wept beside
her aged mother in court-a mother
she'd deserted an left penniless. how
tn Bentley's baby wuz pinched an
made L cry fer it's NAV. an how
well preserved an purity Mrs. Bent
ley is. Tn defense claimed that
Try Bentley shot himself On tn
middle o. his back because he failed
{ bring home a loaf o. bread after
he'd been cautioned e do So said
tn speaker ut wuz claimed that
he an his wife lived happily. when
10 wuz known L everybuddy that ne
slept in tn livery stable han tn
time. Il wuz claimed that Try Bent
ley brooded cause his wife didn't
care fer finery, after she'd run him
in debt all over town. that he'd con
fded Z others that he believed he'd
shoot himself in his back an fall
on a rake an have it all over He
did fall on a rake. but Il wuz not
his idea, Then. after Mrs Bentley
could have a lot o. clothes made, an
buy a stunnin' black sailor. an find
out where her mother WIZ, her law
yer staged a lot O. rehersals an
finally had tn case carried off Z a
distant country an tried before n
jury Of her peers. Their wuz only
one high grade. representative bust
ness man on tn jury an he wuz
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1922-07-02

sonnet OF the army. navy. marine
/ corps, coast guard. coast and
I geodetic survey. and public health
/ service), which was signed by the
/ president on June 10 will make O
great difference in the pay of the
army nurse corps, and will AT las,
put It on a basis that Will compare
very favorably with that existing in
civil life.
This bill increases the pay OF
members Of the nurse corps through
out each period of service except
1.-THE first one. and stands as follows
First period of three years. $40 a
month.
Second period of three years. 500
a month.
Third period Of three years. SIS
month.
Fourth period. $3.50 a month.
Scale of Pay.
The scale Of pay was worked out
! by the officers I'm charge of The mat
/ ter in conference with the superin-
ltendent of the corps and her assist
lants and advisors. and is felt TO be
Z as IAN an NNItrt intent as NN.llA I'Nr-
isibly he made 10 meet the require
ments Of the entire bill as laid down
by the congressional committee.
/ with full maintenance. initial uni
torn equipment 80 days leave a
year. extended time when sick with
the possibility OF one month sick
leave. insurance benefits. opportun-
lily for advanced study. the posi-
lbility Of travel. and the promised
assurance of ultimate retirement on
I three-fourths pay, the advantage
/ OF service in the army nurse corps
are steadily increasing.
/ The opportunities for advanced
study referred 70 include the post
graduate courses which two percent
\ OF the officers of the medical de-
/ partment "a group which now in-
cludes nursesl, may take Sin civilian
+ hospitals on fun pay and allowances
land the constant extension Of def
Fnitely worked out courses in certain
specialties that are being given tn
army hospitals. such as laboratory
/ technique. administrator az am
esthesia. psychiatric social service.
/ and &-ray work
Corps Widely Scattered.
There are at present time S45
nurses In the army nurse corps
These nurses are scattered through
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1922-07-02
OthcrE ditOrs ThanO Ours
ANENT Kissing CERTIFICATES.


Texas college professors want the legislature Of
that state 90 enact law regulating kissing.
Tn event this step IS deemed impracticable they
willing 90 compromise arrangement
whereby heads OF educational institutions can CEN
sor OSCILLATION amous students
IF young men and young women feel life isn't
worth while unless they kiss" urges Dr. j. NJ
Frazier. OF Bolton college at Fort Worth at least
let them protect themselves bz certificate rlan"
Dean Colby Han OF The Texas Christian univer-
sity. also favors regulation along this line but
gravely asserts that hueglug and kissing are falling
into disfavor.
what an interesting situation would develop if
these learned men had their way. IL nice young
man wanted 20 kiss nice young woman. he would
first have 10 exhibit his certificate showing himself
capable Of imDantins osculatory salutes without
disastrous results. Before could proceed how
ever. the young woman likewise would nave TO
show her certificate. The. formalities Of the law
having been duly complied with. the kiss then could
lie given and received
II one attempts 60 analyze the matter a Got OF
interesting questions arise. There isl always the
possibility that kissing might become less popular
u subjected to.censorship and then again ID might
be difficult TO enforce such law. The thing might
work-ln Texas
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1922-07-02

key and other near-eastern eoun-
tries.
Food The Thing
But food Is the most important
thing The American relief admin
istration recently announced that
as many as 100000 peasants have
passed through Kazan. the centre Of
the yolga famine region. IN a single
day on their way back TO their
homes. Reports issued by the Boil
shevik government are rosy
Statistics issued al Moscow have
just reached London They declare
that II present prospects are real
lied. even the famine area VIII be
self-supporting after the autumn
harvest.
Because OF the primitive nature OF
Its agriculture, Russia IS greatly de-
pendent upon weather. Seed sent
10 the famine area arrived late and
peasants and officials watched the
skies fearfully. An early. dry spring
would have prevented the sowing OF
large areas In the southeast
But as soon as the SHOWS had
melted, cold. wet weather set in over
most OF the important grain-pro>
duCing areas. This made il posi- bic
10 SOW extra-large amounts of spring
grain IN the Ukraine and provinces
outside the famine area. thereby
overcoming the small autumn SOW
ing.
II IS stated that soviet government
campaigns have resulted IN import
ant improvements n agricultural
methods. notably In the use of ar
tificial manure Government COM
missions. reports state, succeeded IN
obtaining last summer more early
blowing for the autumn sowing than
was ever before the case. Approx
imarely half the ground needed for
sowing this spring was ploughed
during the winter months; in the
famine area, where work was in
tense, CT per cent was ploughed
In the nothern provinces, which
normally do not produce enough
food for their own consumption. an
effort IS being made to raise a crop
that will Obviate the need Of import
from other provinces.
Spring sowing this year despite
advantages was just a little under
that Of last year. before weather
conditions ruined the harvest. This
Incidentally. IS only so per cent OF
the pre-war sowing.
Plauge OF LOCusts
The only disquietng feature OF
the situation Is a plague Of locusts
in western Siberia, the Trails.
Samara and the northern Caucas us.
Available reports state that in the
famine area approximately 1900
900 acres have been sown altogeth-
or for the 1922 harvest, as compared
with 25.00O.O0O acres in 1921 A
yield OF 100000 tons Of grain is
expected as compared with 100000
tons Of last years ruined harvest.
This yield, which the soviet gov
eminent states Is conservatively es-
timated. would make the famine
area completely self-supporting
The general outlook is most
hopeful an official report con
cludes. AT the same time. this
must not he taken TO mean that the
actual situation in the famine
provinces has improved 1t can
l-only improve after The harvest. and
relief efforts must until then be
maintained and even extended. for
there are still many millions OF the
population in the famine provinces
who are not receiving relief from
any source"
END CHAPTER T.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1922-07-02

we did not have TO lessen our sover-
eighty.
We were late in entering the war
and I feel confident sooner or later
we shall have 10 share because of
enlightened self interest, I'm world
reconstruction.
Under the treaties by the allied
powers with all the new states and
with the former enemy states. provi-
sion was made for protection Of ra-
cial and religious minoriues. Under
those treaties the victorious nations
have reserved the right and assumed
a duty-a very serious and grave
duty-to protect minorities.
The fact that Turkey has not rau-
fed the Treaty of Sevres does in no
manner release her from such pro-
lection of minorides as formed one
Of the main elements OF peace.
"U. :. Should Aid"
No religious or racial minorities.
with the possible exception Of those
in Russia. have suffered more than
the Armenians.
Without entering upon the roHti-
cal phases as TO the extent OF the
recognition of an Armenian state,
there can be no question that the
martyred nation of the World War,
the Armenians. should be brought
under the protection, as they have
a right TO be, Of the League OF Ma
tions.
I certainly think that our country,
if for no other reason than from a
broad huma nitarian standpoint.
should participate with Great Britain
and France IN investigating the suf-
ferings of the Armenians and their
persecution and slaughter since the
termination of the World War.
America has large human inter
ests in Turkey. larger than in any
other part Of the world, growing
out Of TOO or more American
schools and seven colleges IN the
Ottoman Empire, with many OF
which American teachers and schol-
ars are connected and have been
! for two generations.
Moral Effect Is Great.
Our country has acted wisely IN
accepting the invitation OF Great
Britain and France TO take part in
an investigation Of the situation.
The moral effect Of American rar-
ticipation in that Investigation from
the very start viii serve as a pro-
lection and have restraining influ-
ence upon the Turks. their govern
ment and people.
Aside from all other reasons the
dictates Of humanity and the prece-
dents Of our humanitarian diplom-
acy in the post not only justify but
make IL duty for America 70 act.
Turkey should know that our coun-
try IS not Indifferent 10 the peace
and welfare of the Armenian peo-
PIE.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1922-07-02

Federal Council Of Churches in an
appeal TO the nation TO prod con
gress into action-were put by EEA
Service 10 oscar s Straus. distin-
guished American diplomat and au-
thority on the Near East.
Straus was three times American
ambassador TO Turkey. under PRIEST
cleveland. Mckinley and Taft. and
was secretary of comments and lab
or I'm Pres't Roosevelts cabinet Here
IS his answer:
BY OSCAR 8. STRAUS.
PURCHASE. y. T.. July 1.-CBy
NEA News Service) Unfortunately
our country Is not a member Of the
League OF Nations. I sa Vunf0rtun-
ately because had we become
member either under the Hitchcock
reservations or the Lodge reserva-
tions-there were only verbal differ
ences between them-we would
have had the dominant guiding In
fuence in the reconstruction OF the
world.
For America 70 become a mem
her OF the League OF Nations would
in no way lessen or weaken her
sovereignty but would be an ex-
tension OF sovereignty exercised in
concert with. and in just relations
with. other states fer the regulation
and administration OF common in
terests that concern Us as we'll as
them.
Pledged 20 Protect.
That we had common interests
with the entente states IN winning
the war was evidenced BY ourS Tar-
ticipation therein. And In doing so
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1922-07-02
u. S. SHOULD HALT
BLOOD MASSACRE
WAVEIN ARMENIA
So States Oscar Straus, Thrice
Ambassador to Turkey,
in Special Article.

WASHINGTON, July What
should America do about Armenia
Expelled relief workers inform
Sec'y Hughes at Washington and
Lord BalfOur in London that the
plight of Armenians is worse than
ever. An inter-allied investigation is
proposed.
Does America owe the Armenians
a duty? Is America keeping faith ?
These questions-asked by the
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1922-07-02

For good efficient dentistry at a
reasonable cost. consult Drs. Carson
and Oren In their new location 125
w washington av. Phone II. SAG.
145
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1922-07-02
ARE YOU SAFE?

Feel safe all fellow citizens, for Fordnty. maker
Of tariffs is the fighting line to protect your
homes. your wages and your happiness.
He stands before his fellow solons. waves a silk
nighte. casts jocular javelin the moralr Of his
fellows. and proceeds to show what the present
tariff measure Will do to protect the great Ameri-
can public
That silk nightie which is the object OF 50 much
solliciture Is made abroad. It costs. or arrival
s21 but It IS sold by the profteerlng New York
merchant to the humble toner and the American
farmer FOR $50.
Shall the farmer, the housewife the factory girl
tie permitted be a party to great conspiracy?
Shall they, when they retire ct night have their
slumbers to destroyed by the that their own
countrymsn being sent to poverty and idleness
because Of the lack Of tariff on their sixty dollar
nightes?
They VIII sleep in peace and with no conscience
whispering ears their $50 nighties have
been purchased by the throttnng OF American en-
rerprise.
For Fordney wants huge tariff on these slum-
Der gowns. enough OF a tariG so that when the 10
millions Of Americans sleep ct night in these slken
robes they viii doze away IN an American made
gown. protected from that cheap foreign labor
which charges only SCI for robe de mutt
After this IS settled. perhaps Fordney will figure
out some way for the ordinary farmer the girl
who works for factory TO see what one OF these
gowns look Ike. That's about as near as most
people VIII get 10 one.
A decided blonde Is seldom decided about any.
thing else.
In Boston. $1,000 for her hus-
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1922-07-02
They Miss the lime About Tucka-
hoe

IT know why it Topped" he said.
and Iii tell you why II Topped
And every really funny comedian
in the business viii flop for the same
reason. now that people are getting
used TO the pictures and don't stand
on their hind legs and cheer just to
see railroad locomotive coming
out toward the audience or a guy
throwing a baby off ferry boat.
1T Topped because the pictures
cannot interpret real virile humor.
1t Topped because there IS no
means OF getting our best impromp-
~ stuff over. because the pictures
can the drama and sell It in cases
like tomatoes, and what IS In it can
not be changed TO suit the mood Of
the creative comedian who can
adapt himself TO his audience.
You know that line, about: Il
Just took a lady to an automat I'm
Tuckahoe? ''WeU that was always
a knockout IN Mt. Vernon. which IS
right next to Tuckahoe. which is q
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1922-07-02
of Nursing.
By JULIA c. STIMSON.
Major. superintendent. Army Nurse
Corps; Dean. Army School

The service pay pill Can act to re-
adjust the pay and allowances OF
the commissioned and enlisted per-
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1922-07-02

NO" said the movie manager
shortly you can't have no new con-
tract. You're through"
The movie star looked hurt.
Why am 1 through" he in
quired. That's what I wont YOU to
tell me. why am I through Didn't
I knock 'em dead all over the couu-
try IN straight legitimate voodvcel
before you was ever anything but a
bookkeeTsr IN a ce,luloid collar fac
tory? Amt 1 known through the
lenth and breath OF the country {?
Whatd you mean. through? I amt
really begun yet"
The manager looked out Of the
window, and remained looking OUT
Of the window as ne answered.
You're through" he said. "be-
cause the pitcher we starred YOU On
Topped. II Popped something sadt
The New York boss wires me how
sad Il was as soon as IL hit the East.
and TO tell you the truth I thought
he was wrong. But he wasn't II
was sad everywhere. and me. I
thought them gags would be good
and that they'd die latin az IT,"
Don't I get no other chance
There's good money in this business
an I'd rather live out here where
1 got a bungalow than go tourin'
with bum hotels 20 eat and sleep in.
Maybe you'd give me another
chance"
z mot after such a flop as that.
You're through, 1 tell you. I do
know why the thing Aopped. honest
I don't. You was funny 20 me. an
them titles they give you was funny
funny as anything the guy that
got EN- up ever wrote. But it was
a flop an this company aint goln'
TO get celebrated for putin sut
fiops."
The actor strobe 20 the window
and looked out Then he strobe 10
another window and looked out OF
that Then he strobe to the manager
and looked at HIM And this exrla-
nation OF his failure flowed out Of
him.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1922-07-02

decided blonde IS seldom decided about any
thing else
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1922-07-02

In Boston. woman wants $1,000 for her hus-
hand More p-odteeFng.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1922-07-02

That we had common interests
with the entente states IN winning
the war was evidenced BY ours Tar-
ticipation therein. And In doing so
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1922-07-02

There are az present time S45
nurses In the army nurse corps
These nurses are scattered through