The Washington times., 1922-07-23
(Continued from Preceding Page)

served the summons.
"As look back over my career I re-
member only one failure. The man was
dead, I never tried to serve no corpse,
but one. That funeral didn't Tease me,
however, not one whit. This came when
Twas young at my profession, and very
Jealous. got to the mans house and in
quired for him.
"'He's dead wept his wife's mother,
lifting the hem Of her apron to her eye,
while she burst out into fresh convul-
sion of grief; 'dead-poor Mike-the
best son-in-law | ever had. Come in, the
wakes now going on. The more the
merrier'
81 stepped in and was led up to the
casket. I looked at Michael Collins Raf-
erty, as the silver name plate on the cof-
fin set forth. l stole glance at my sum-
mons; the name was the same. Then l
was puzzled. For the man before me, in
his last repository, was dead. Unmis-
takably dead, lily in his hand. He was
not taking. Yet I was supposed, as
real, live, go getter, to serve that sum-
mons. ! forgot whether my instructions
had said, serve dead or alive or not. So
| Just excused myself to Mikes mother
in-law for a minute.
"T want to go call up the florist said
to her. 4 want a wreath, something
refined, yet appropriate
81 went to the corner drug store and
called up the lawyer who had given me
the summons.
"'He's dead l told him. It's no STALL
l saw him in his casket. Gone But Not
Forgotten" reads the floral offering at his
head. What shall do with the sum-
monsT
"'Tuek it in his hand and beat it back
honey said the lawyer to me. SO
started out. Now, Max Kaminsky, my
partner, was with me, and as we walked
back to dead Mikes told Max what the
lawyer had told me to do.
"T must tuck it in his hand and then
beat it,, said to Max.
"'Wait a minute urged Max, and he
stopped right under the bright moon.
want to think said he. Then he did
think. Both of US do, often. He thought
a long while. Then he told me, let's not
90 back to Mikes at all. Even if you do
tuck it in his hand he can't appear in
court, unless you bring him in, in his
casket. Which is foolishness, as anyone
can see. So let's beat it back before we
get that whole bunch chasing US for slip
ping in a summons where the lily only
should be. Let's-just for once-pass up
service altogether
'T thought quite a while, too, and
made up my mind we might more health
ily. So we never went back to finish the
wake at Mixes
Now, ask Dave Hartman, or ask his
wiry, black-eyed little partner, Max Kam-
insky, a word or. two in regard to the
kind of people they serve, and they will
rub their hands with pride Of profession.
Although they are democrats; although
they are no respecters Of persons, still,
they will very we'll tell you that, while on
their professional errands, they move in
the very best circles. With gusto they
enumerate the names Of one or two OF
their famous clients.
There's Mrs Robert Chambers" Dave
tells you. "She's literary--or literary by
proxy; because, as anyone can tell you,
there's not little stenographer in the
whole country who hasn't wept over at
least one of her husbands romantical
heroines. Then, forsaking literature,
there's Haggn, already also mentioned.
Mrs. Carrero, daughter of Anna Held,
was one of the people whom we served at
her hotel, three years ago; Eva Tanguay,
the actress; Lew Fields, the actor man
aper, are two others, and Phillip Morris,
agent for Harry Lauder, is another illus
trious New Yorker who, before now, had
to take little summons from us, whether
he wished to or not.
"When it comes to titles, l." says Hart
man, 81 served the Count forget his
Hame-whom Marjorie Rambeau once
was engaged to marry. You know, later
this same Count was arrested for little
check which he just happened to forge.
When | served him, however, he was a
perfect gentleman, as always. He mere
iv nut the summons in his pocket and re-
marked, how absurd; of course there Is
some mistake; these beastly tradesnen
should remember who I am
"Oh yes, that Count acted as II he had
almost Ave dollars in his pocket. But he
didn't fool us, for we know human
nature"
Now, there are certain little teehnieali-