davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1922-10-29

- OVERNMENT Is going to
II take finger-prints of every
body. No more skuldug-
gerry. Wherever you 60, the
government will have a line on
you.
Can follow you through every
doorway you visit in a year by
simply looking for your finger
print on the knob.
Going In to pinch q speak
easy, the government sleuth can
look at q bottle and tell at q
glance the name Of every man
who has taken q drink out Of 1t
since Volstead went into effect.
Nobody has taken time to wash
the bottles since then.
Finger-printing will put an
end to some of the following
vicious practices:
Robbing the bsby's bank.
Allowing strange lady to steer
the fiivver.
Using Communication ticket you
have found.
Visiting strange hencoops at
night.
Putting plugged quarter In col
lection plate.
Opening bureau drawer where
house money is kept.
Exchanging restaurant checks
with another when his back is
turned.
Trying to prove ownership to
umbrella.
This finger-print thing ID GO
ing to be q law, like the lncome-
tax-another skin game.
Pretty soon we will all be
"mugged" and in the rogues'
gallery. But the finger-printing
really Il going to be good thing
In one way. It is going to make
people keep their hands on their
own property and of the prop
erty Of others.
II q mean steals an umbrella
in Seattle and gets as far as
New York with 1t now, he is
comparatively safe. But not in
The Washington times., 1922-10-29
By r. K. M.

Now I guess you an me 60 by
da dancing hall an we see which
is yonger, you or me-"
81 not 60 to same," I snort,
disgust.
"You shall, also," she say eet.
IT not" I say, "your yonsish-
ness cost me enoff. I not 90 by
no dancing halls"
"Eef you ees not careful" "
she say It coquettish, somebody
ees steal me eef I 20 along by
dancing halls. You better 60
along by same"
81 not" I say firmishly.
Well, after we get to da dance
hall, all yong mans want to
dance wit my wife, she look so
yong an I gotta look around one,
two hour to find some old ladys
to dance wit me an when I got
one to dance wit me, she say,
"Mr. Caramelli," she say eet, 81
see you ess bring your daughter
to do dancing halls wit you to-
night" she say. How old ees
your daughter?"
"That," I reply, lees my busi-
ness, also. But I don't mind
telling you she ees thirty-eight
year Of age"
"Well then, you mus be about
sixty" say this lady. "an' you
look set. But, don't worry. Eet
ees nice to have such yong beau
tiful daughter lika that"
I walk from that place out Of
eet an 60 home,
My wife she dance till tree,
four o'clock an she say:
II not miss you," she say
"ontil some yong mans come an
tella me my father has went
home and that you ees such . old
guy you look all tire out"
"Oh, shot opp" I snarl.
"Who ees old now, Wop," abe
demand.
Nobody" I say eet. "old
age, she ees abolish"
So eet cost me seek hundred
dollar to win do argument wit
my wife an lose same, which
any man is YER foolish to tall
about q lady's age for there ees
no such thing.
You know set
The Washington times., 1922-10-29

.x nI Slf3 marlouche sne
. |" waEt Tie TO 60 by dance
hall wick benin las an I
say no, lot go an she not 60
reither.
"Wynot?" she ask queek lika
that.
Because" I say eet, "you
ees getting to be old womans
and should not be so friv."
"Who you ees call da old
womans?" she ask eet, snappish.
"You ees same," I say.
"Old? Ha-ha," she exclaim
with very mean ha-ha." How
thata way do you get eet?"
II know how old you ees," I
say, YER reckless like a dam
E fool. 81 know how old you, ees.
You can't fool me-"
"You know noting, you poor
fishcake," she say eet.
"Ladys cannot conceal .da
age" l say eet. "Mens can do
same. Lookit me, how yong I
ees looking. Eef I get eet good
shave an shampoodle an de new
necktie, I ees yong as ever"
She look at me wit eye in da
fire lika da poison dag she would
like to steeck me with same.
$50 you think I ees getting to.
be old ladys," she say, YER
calm.
81 not think same," / nudge,
sarcastic. 81 know eet." don't
know what ees matter wit me
that night. l musta been .craze
by da head. 'You not fool no
body wit them roughs you put
on da face, especially you not
fool me-"
$50 I not look good to you,
what, Wop?" she say, YER cool,
which ees not like my Mariouche
to be SO quiet.
"Oh, yass," I say, "you look
good enough to me, SO far that
goes, but you ees too old to be
making da monkey Of yourself
by da dance halls lika da flap.
Maybe you ees not quite so good
looking like you used to ees
when ! marry you, but you suit
me all right yet"
There Is quite a lot difference
between Q fool and . darn fool.
The Washington times., 1922-10-29
Iony the Barber on Old Age

A fool makes sarcastic cracks at
his wife once. A darn fool keeps
eet opp, just lika me.
"You talk like you been drink
da hooch by da delicatess," she
say. "You ees dronk or you not
talk SO sassy TO me-"
NO." say, "I ees only telling
da troot. We ees bot getting
too old for da foolishment by da
dancings only there ees one diff
ference. You ees getting old an
you show eet. l ees getting old
an not show eet."
"Hum," she say eet.
"Yass," I say. "A womans
she ees as old as she looks like
eet an q man ees as old as he
feels likewise"
Hail." she say eet, an that
ees an, an win deesa argu-
ment wit Mariouche, wich ees
da first argument l win wit her
cen tree, four mont.
81 am glad l win da arg wit
you," I say eet.
"Yeah?" she say, an she walk
away.
Eet ees best to be firm wit
ladys and tell them which is
The Washington times., 1922-10-29

the future. BY his finger-prints
ye shall know him, even though
the umbrella passes through a
dozen hands after he loses it.
Young lady will come home
from a dance and her mother
will ask her who she danced with.
"oh, nobody much. I only
danced twice, Ma"
Then Ma will get the old
finger-print directory down of
the shelf, turn the magnifying
glass on, daughters far back and
humble: Huh! You danced
with Emil Pooch, Luke Purdy,
Abe Ginsberg, Jim Hosford,
Jake Doolittle, Emery Fink
binder, Cecil de Maubry. Skinny
The Washington times., 1922-10-29

what an they respeck you, joost
lika that.
Zen two, tree days, she has
stranger come by da home house
and put mud on her face an
she sit aroun' wit mud on sew
eral days an pretty soonly she
got her hair all fix opp and da
dressmak,' she come by ds house
an stay two wicks an every day
mud on da face an da rubber
mask at night and so forth.
On da first Of da mont I get
bills for seek hunder' dollar Of
different kind an ! ver' angry
an say to Mariouche:
"For which ees what?" ! say
eet.
For yongish looking like my
husban'," she reply YER calm.
"Ees you crazy?" I say.
"No," she say. 'T ees joost
getting yong. Eet ees not right
to be so mooch older as my hos
band. Do I not look mooch
yonger, Wop, what?"
! make da good look an I
say she do.
"Old age" say Mariouche,
"she ees abolish-eef you ees got
enough money to abolish eet.
The Washington times., 1922-10-29
Get Your Fingers Ready
Hoopgarner

Hicks, Mortimer, Hoopgarners
Frisby Finch and-I'll be jig
gered If you didn't dance with
that worthless Amry Higgins,
and I told you never to speak
to him again"
Oh, It will all come out In the
finger-prints, never fear but
the law will be evaded! Just a
soon as the finger-print thing be-
gins to hit nicely on all cylinders
some genius will discover the
fact that when q man wearS
gloves he leaves no finger-print&
and then the stuff will be all OF.
Maybe the glove makers are
backing this thing.
The Washington times., 1922-10-29
Know Your Own Country

TT reported excellent authority there tight
walkers in this country there before prohibition
Hon. Kppered Herring English poet makes bitter attack
America he had with his American brothen
believed will be declared He working
a poetic license
good philosophical writers live Cape Cod It almost
takes philosopher to live there.
The that would be asked fobddng throwing
cigarette stubs in the Grand Canyon Of that
1t Is rapidly filing up is said to be untrue
More than three million in the United States believe
drive their when in reality their wives back
do It.
There have been many discussions how Los Angeles
pronounced pronounced properly just spelled Los
Angeles
The Washington times., 1922-10-29
Choose Your News

- ING Boris Of Bulgaria desires . Yankee bride,
n Hs throne would be lees lonely with sitting BY h side
Does he long for the iady1 No.
He's lonesome for the sdy's dough.
The Turk like the exiled he always does come back
Each time they his spitsph bu. soon. alaek
The dirty Sick Man Of the East
Comes back % spol the victor's feast
'Ts N .sn and Of .sin' With poor old cosstsntins,
'T ssin' and down ssn-no breathing between
For any modern King of Greece
There lent anything like peace.
Ford has found millions hs didn't know he had
They tucked In nttls bsnk-his went bad
AZ Henry W should poke fun,
That might %
The life Insurance companies quit Europe In bunch
very Americans, { Z seems, have sst . hupeh
That human nfe 10 much too cheap
In lands where "eulturs" 10 knssdssp.
Ohio citizens will upon light wines and beer,
They're seeking Brother vots.ds and hope that
The "drys" proclaim 'tis but . bluff
To the stuH.
Brooklyn burglar ladys watch and theft does.
He right back her when he fouad weuin't
Bot, ladys watch, when all else fails.
l. very good for driving nsila
The Washington times., 1922-10-29
No Cart Along.

THE girl walked briskly into the
! store and dropped her bag on
the counter. "Give me q chick
en-" she said.
"Do you want q pullet7" the
storekeeper asked.
"No," the girl replied. 81
vants carry t."
The Washington times., 1922-10-29

I saw a man stumble in the
office recently and fall backward.
His head landed right in the
middle Of a rapidly revolving
electric fan. The only injuries
the man sustained, however, was
a hair cut as good as any ex-
perieneed barber could give him.
JOHN GEORGE.
The Washington times., 1922-10-29
MISS LoTTA CUFF.

l saw a bank teller smile very
politely and heard him speak
pleasantly to a customer. l
know It happened for I was the
customer. Hand me to-day's
solid bone collar button.
ANNA ]. PROUDFOOT.
The Washington times., 1922-10-29
CLEO RAPP.

While coming from Suffern
recently ! saw a" ma with an
auto tail ! re badly damaged.
It was dark and fearing he
would be topped by the police
he made his ten-year-old son, a
lad with fiery red hair, keep his
head sticking out Of the back of
the machine. He arrived home
without the police stopping him.
AL K. HALL.
The Washington times., 1922-10-29

Up In Bronxville where they
are blasting, ! saw an automobile
that needed air in it's back tires.
The dynamite exploded just as
the machine reached the burning
fuse. After the noise subsidized
and the debris settled, | saw the
man drive away very happily.
His back tires had been blown
up.
I. c. SOTTS.
The Washington times., 1922-10-29

This afternoon I saw q very
strange thing on the Grand Con-
course, Bronx. I saw q Ford
touring car turn into a pie
wagon.
The Washington times., 1922-10-29
FELIX GRABB.

On the corner Of Lexington
avenue and Seventy-first street
I saw three shirts O. 4 Line with
buttons missing fTayed cnfs aud
torn collar" ia. Als6 a pair
of socks badly dSrneG. ! kncw
at onc., that q hacheier<iived In
ths pertinent .-.~
The Washington times., 1922-10-29

While on the Boston road re-
Gently, passing large orchard,
I saw a peach on an apple-tree.
She was picking apples.
SADIE SNOW.
The Washington times., 1922-10-29

Last night on a Brighton line
train Of the B. r. T., saw a
man get aboard at Fourteenth
street. He was slightly boot
legged and settled down comfort
ably in a corner seat. He slept
soundly and in a few minutes,
instead of snoring he began
honking like an auto horn. The
conductor went over and seeing
Q flask extending from his inside
pocket extracted it, yanked out
the cork, and after putting the
mouth of the flask under his
nose he discovered that the man
had been drinking gasoline,
which caused the honk in place
of the usual snore.
FELIX GRABB.
The Washington times., 1922-10-29
What | Saw
To-Day.

SSoiid Bone Collar Button Given
Every Day to Winnsr)
To-DAY I saw q soda clerk
In a Broadway place and
he had clean apron on.
Hand me the days prize.
MRS. I. GINSBERG.
l saw q street car conductor
Who did not appear to be wear
ing a pair Of black. gloves. I'll
pct nobody ever saw anything
like that.
A. HAMMERSLING.
The Washington times., 1922-10-29

Give me the prize to-day. I
saw a taxi cab driver throw his
cigarette away when a lady got
! into his cab. He was afraid the
smoke would blow in her face.
But, perhaps I am not entitled
to the prize. He was not the
regular taxicab driver but the
regular drivers brother, SUBJ
stituting.
MRS. ROSE BUSH.
The Washington times., 1922-10-29

saw q man in Grand Central
station miss a train and look
pleasant about 1t. His wife was
on the train.
]. PERCY PENNYPACKER.
The Washington times., 1922-10-29

rr.,, p-,,,- e,-A... o-.-~.a
The Washington times., 1922-10-29

] saw a man in front Of fruit
stand, pinch every peach in a
basket and then buy that basket
Of peaches. This never hap
pened before in the history Of
the world.
ICHABOD DINGELDORFER.
Arizona republican., 1922-03-12

On the trail OF the lonesome south
paw.
A lot OF major league managers are
singing that ditty in the southland
No major league club considers it's
pitching staff quite complete unless
1t boasts crack southpaw.
It is a rather unusual fact that a
number of big league bali teams
lacked such an individual last year.
AS a matter Of fact the two lead
ing clubs in the American last year.
New York and Cleveland, were minus
a consistent left haner.
The presence OF crack southpaw
on a ball club means much. II en-
ables the managr to offer diversi-
fled assortment Of pitching. A crack
left handler is a threat that can be
used to advantage in many direc-
tions.
Often in every circuit there are
couple of clubs very weak against
southpaws. A crack left handler has
no trouble tanning such a club into
submission in a couple OF games in
every series.
Then again a southpaw is often
invaluable in a pinch. when a team
is taking liberties with some right
handler. Such a change often alb
ruptly stops a rally that is being
staged at the expense of right
handler
In the National league the two
Arizona republican., 1922-03-12
FORD EMPLOYEES WILL
PUT FIST BASEBALL
TEAM ON LOCAL LOTS

Plans for a commercial baseball
league in Phoenix this summer were
launched last week when Ed Rudolph
announced that the Ford Garage en-
ployes would put a fast team in the
field.
C. L. Fix one OF the Ford employees
has been working for some time on
plans for a shop team and he an
nounced yesterday that he now has a
club which he predicts will prove the
fastest commercial team in the city.
A meeting of the employees was held
Friday evening and Bill Babby was
named team manager and G. l. Dtack
was assigned the post Of captain.
Jack Staples shop foreman, an
nounced at the meeting that he was
in touch with several star ball play
ers on the west coast who are good
mechanics and who are willing to
come here under the Eord p1sEit
sharing plan which goes into effect
tomorrow. Staples is an old Dart
mouth college star. He played with
Eddie Collins and Home Run" Baker
during his school days. He has a
nice assortment Of curves left in the
old soup bone and the players count
on Jack to win every game he starts.
Staples is a good sticker and can
play the outfield when not doing SER
vice in the box.
Ed Rudolph is very enthusiastic
over the prospects for a shop team.
He says he will be out every practice
night to chase flies and keep in the
proverbial pink. Ed may take a
chance in the outfield If he gets back
into his old time form. Rudolph is
a great booster for sports and firm
believer in physical exercise. He
Arizona republican., 1922-03-12
Phoenix Tigers
Play Giants At
Eastlake Today

Harry Crandall's Phoenix Tigers
will take the field this afternoon for
the first time this season playing the
Western Giants at Eastlake park at
$3.50 p. m.
Crandall has a strong lineup to
start off the season. with Scotty hold
ing down second and acting as field
captain again this year. Scotty cap
tanned last years state champions
and hopes to have the title holders
leading the list before the season gets
far under way.
Wiz White will do the hurting for
the Giants with Floyd White behind
the bat. The remainder of the Giants
lineup will be the same as two weeks
ago when the colored boys met the
White Sox.
Arizona republican., 1922-03-12

Baseball
CENTRAL METHODS 7 TATHLETES
LEAD IN SUNDAY SCHOOL MEET

Glass 5--Tucker. c. NJ; Brown. b.:
Barton. c. M.
Glass 4--Barton. c. M; Tucker. c.
NJ: Achauer, B.
Glass Hubbard, p; Ferguson.
Q. NJ; JOY. F. M.
Glass S--Hawkins. c.; Thompson,
Ch.; Lenoir. c. M.
Shot Put u
Glass 4--Alphine, b.: Achauer. B.;
Tucker, G. M.
Glass S--Hawkins, c.; Lenoir, C.
M: Coverdale, p.
Glass 6--Hedgepeth. r.; Powers.
c. M. Gorrell. b.
Class 5--Powers. C. M; Gorreil.
B.; Brown. B.
rs Yard Dash
Ciass i--Hewett, E.; Joy. r. M:
Hubbard, p.
Glass 3-DacuA r. M; higgins. p;
Avery, r. NJ.
Glass s-Thompson. Ch.: Mills. r.
M; Fraley. G. M.
700 Yard Dash
Class. Hubbard. p: Hewett. E.;
Joy, r. M.
Glass e--Dacus. F. NJ; Diebold. F.
NJ; Avery, r. NJ
Glass S-Thompson. Ch.: Mills F.
NJ; Fraley c. M.
Glass s-Barton. c. M: Roberts,
c.. M.
Class Barton, c. M: Leeper. c.:
Miles Roberts. G. M.
. Glass Brown. B.: carton, c. NJ:
Morse. B.
220 Yard Dash
Class 4-Barton. c. M; Alphine,
b.: Achauer. B.
Glass 5--Brown. B.; Morse, B.;
Leeper. C.
$40 Yard Relay Men Teams
Glass 5-Brown. Morse, Achauer,
Alphine, Baptists; Powers. Tucker.
Fraley, Barton. Central Methodist.
Baseball Throw
Glass 6-Hedgepeth. r.: Powers,
Q. M: Hedgepeth, r.
Glass 3--Woodrige, c.: Hawkins.
c.; Thompson, Oh.
Class 5--Powers. c. NJ; Morse. B.;
Gorrell B.
Glass 2-Diebold. r. M; higgins,
P: Johnson. +. M.
Glass 4--Roberts. G. NJ; Alphine,
B.; Tucker. c. M.
Glass Hubbard. p: Joy. f. M;
Ferguson. G. NJ.
Arizona republican., 1922-03-12
! ou1nBH HzmnBAossip
Il By Billy Evans
AD RusiDoux

leaders last year, New York and
Pittsburg. are much more fortunate
ly situated. The Giants have Nehf
and the Pirates Cooper. They are
two OF the best southpaw in the game.
II looks as il iris Speaker OF
Cleveland would be forced to place
his dependence in Walter Mails as
far as southpaw pitching is con-
cerned. Walter Mails has the stuff
No southpaw in the game has more
on the ball. However. last year
Mails was unable to win with con-
sistency.
Several things tended to work
against Mails last season. In 1920
he finished the season by winning
seven straight for Cleveland. In the
worlds series with Brooklyn his work
was flawless. No pitcher ever went
better in the big event.
Undoubtedly Mails at the start Of
last season felt that he had a very
large reputation to live up TO. In
the spring a sore arm retarded him.
In his early games he lacked con-
troll and was unable to win. Unuues-
tionably that affected his confidence.
There is no doubt in my mind that
all these things tended to work against
his success. Mails certainly should be
a far better pitcher in 1922.
With every manager southpaw Is
the thing. Managers of clubs for
tunate enough to have a good one
are hoping to land another from the
recruits. Those minus a southpaw
have hopes of developing one.
Arizona republican., 1922-03-12

hopes to make the regulars step along
at a fast clip to hold their positions.
The Ford employees are confident
the fans will get more "kick' out of
a good amateur battle than watch a
semi pro game where the players are
erratic and lack the punch.
BY encouraging amateur sport the
regular teams will develop some local
stars who can be worked into the
big games as they improve and the
amateur players are willing to CO.
operate with the regulars to help the
game. Baseball will thrive if the
players pay more attention to the
sport end and do not pay so much
attention to the commercial side of
the game.
The Ford team will be ready for
games inside of two weeks.
Arizona republican., 1922-03-12

TENDER BEATS SHEPPARD

TENDLER BEATS SHEPPARD
NEW YORK, Mar. 11--Lew Tend
Ter of Philadelphia, defeated Johnny
Sheppard. former British lightweight
champion in the third round of their
12-round match in Brooklyn tonight.
The referee stopped the figh to save
Sheppard from further punishment.
NAVAL BOXERS WIN
ANNAPOLIS, Md, Mar, 11-Naval
academy boxers were victorious in an
International boxing tournament here
today. defeating g. combination team
composed of representatives OF Nc
Gill. Toronto, and Queen universities
Of Canada. five bouts to two. All of
the bouts were marked by clever
boxing, heavy punching and clean
craftsmanship. Navy men, on the
whole, were more rugged fighters
and able to stand much more punish
ment.
MIsKE- MAIDEN MARCH 27
ST. PAUL, MIMI, Mar. 11-Billy
Miske. ST. Paul light heavyweight
boxer has signed to meet Bartley
Madden, New York, in a ten-round
no-decision bout here on March %, il
was announced tonight.
KANSAS BEATS BELMONT
BUFFALO, n. Y. Mar. 11--Rocky
Kansas of Buffalo won the judges
decision over Gene belmont of Mem
phis, Tenn. in 10-round bout here
last night.
TREMAINE- WHITE TUESDAY
CLEVELAND, o.. Mar. 11-Failing
to secure a bout with Johnny Buff,
bantamweight champion. Carl Tre-
maine of Cleveland has been matched
to box 10 rounds with Jabez White
Of Albany at ST. Louis on the night
OF March IA.
SHADE E-MlTCHELL MARCH 27
MILWAUKEE. Wis. Mar II 49,
Dave Shade today accepted terms TO
meet Pinkey Mitchell here on Mar. q.
Forty eight makes Of automobiles
use four cylinder engines.
Arizona republican., 1922-03-12

/
Paul Bennett. Phoenix .4O-41 81
| The semi-finals will be played this
morning and the finals will be played
! off this afternoon.
l The players will tee Off in six
flights In the semi-finals this morn
( ing as follows:
First flight
Charles Macarthur, Phoenix, VS.. r.
Frost, Chandler.
Tom Dunbar, Phoenix, VS.. DIR.
Goodrich Phoenix.
Second flight
=. l. Gary, Chandler, VS.. w. H.
| Thompson. Phoenix.
DIR. II. J. Jessup, Phoenix, VS.. A. e.
| Price, Chandler.
Third flight
Or. Bannister, Phoenix, vs. Joe
| Cassou, Phoenix.
I. 4. Dunbar, Phoenix. VS. Woods,
| Chandler.
Fourth flight
John Deems, San Marcos, VS.. e. B.
| Gilmore. San Marcos.
w. p. Arms. Mesa, VS.. Mullen, Ray.
Fifth flight
Jones, Phoenix VS. DR.. woodan,
| Phoenix.
Hinton. San Marcos, VS.. Burrage,
| Chandler.
Sixth flight
Lesueur, Mesa, VS.. West, Mesa.
Floyd Bouton, Chandler. vs. Don
| Sankton, Phoenix.
The tournament started off yester-
day morning with the largest attend
ance in the history of the club.
| Fifty-three players registered for the
preliminary flights, with Phoenix.
Mesa, Chandler Ray and the Evans
school represented.
A large gallery followed the players
around the course, which was in good
condition after several weeks work on
the part of the greens committee and
the San Marcos attendants.
Today'S play promises TO bring out
an even larger gallery than watched
yesterdays play. Threatening wealth
err failed to hold down the interest in
the tournament Of either the players
| or the spectators.
Play will start at 10 o'clock this
morning and at o'clock this after
noon. Prizes will be given. I'm all
flights with the San Marcos trophy
given the winner Of the tournament.
KERRlGAN FLORIDA CHAMP
JACKSONVILLE, Fla, Mar. H.
George Kerrigan, Saransworth, n. T.,
won the Florida open golf title at the
Florida Country club here today with
n total score Of 297. Pat Doyle OF st.
Louis, with 29S, was runner-up, while
Gene z. Sarazen, Pittsburg, South
ern open titleholder. and Cyril Walk
er, Englewood, n. j., with 299, were
tied for third place.
Kerrigan. who was five down at
the end of yesterdays play, took the
lead in this mornings round with a
/ birdie two on number II and an eagle
two on number IS. In the afternoon
play he was tied with Doyle to the
seventeenth hole, when a par three
and four for the last two holes netted
him rs.
AS Florida champion he displaces
Jim Barnes, who did not enter the
| tournament.
Walter Hagen OF Detroit. after
disappointing start yesterday. fol-
| lowed by a noticeable Improvement