The Washington herald., 1922-09-04
1t Seems to Me
By Haywood Broun.

Several correspondents have writ
ten to ask the meaning of the word
"kibitzer," which was used recently
in some comment about Prof. Ross
and the saloon and poker. As a
matter of fact, we heard about the
word only recently, but 1t seems to
us to fill a long felt want in our
language. Kibitzer is Yiddish and
1t means so much that it can hard
ly be translated in less than a SEN
tence. A kibitzer is a man who
hangs about a card game in which
he is not participating and gives
suggestions and advice to the play
ers.
Not only is the word enormously
valuable in this, its original mean
ing, but II Is easy to think of nu-
merous secondary usages for which
1t may be employed. In speaking
of literature. for instance. IL would
obviate the necessity of going into
long paragraphs about John S. Sum-
ner. He, too. is among the kibitzers.
Sentimentalism has produced
much which is inaccurate in the
arguments of reformers, but il Is
only fair to admit that vice is also
not without fallacies. Some of them
are SO persuasive that they have
been accepted in the working phi
losophy of the nation as a whole.
Consider. for instance, the familiar
belief that one may learn much
about human nature from playing
poker. Thomas A. Edison himself
indicated his faith in this theory
by putting a poker query into one
OF his questionnaires.
To US IL seems the merest moon
shine If we had devoted the same
amount Of time to the study of
languages as to playing cards we
would now be one of the most ac-
complished linguists in the world.
We might have written fifteen full
length tragedies and five novels. We
could have learned the names of all
the capitals of the various States
in this country or the average yield
OF Kansas in wheat. corn and hay
for the last ten years. Instead of
that We have learned nothing more
than that when you get mad YOU
don't play as well as II you keep
your temper. And that we should
nave known before we started.
Much has been made of the value
of the so-called poker face. 1t has
been held that the man who dis
plays no emotion in his countenance
must be exceedingly successful not
only in poker but in life. This we
cnallenge. The man who strives to
keep all trace of intelligence and
expression out of his face eventually
manages to keep ii out of his head
as well. In poker. as in life, the
dangerous men are the lucky ones.
We played once with a number of
Chinese merchants in Pekin. We
mad read Bret Harte, of course, and
entered the game with fear and
trembling. But after ten minutes
we realized that we had come in
contact with another fallacy. The
chinese. for all their imperturba-
oillty, were as bad poker players as
we have ever had the pleasure to
meet. They couldn't get over the
notion that the foreign devils were
trying to bluff them, and it was
their practice always to call ire
spective' of the size of the pot or
the hands they held.
All the young American officers in
Pekin seemed to know that, and
service in China was more richly
rewarded than in any other part of
the world. A few years before
that We used to play with the son
of the Gaekwar of Baroda, who had
gone to Harvard to get an educa-
tion- He was the worst poker play
er we have ever met, for somebody
mad told him when he first began
tnat -FOUR cards to a king was an
excellent draw. AT the end OF hi,
senior year he still seemed to be-
lieve 1t.
Indeed. an undergraduate club
was formed each member of which
was pledged to put a pack of cards
In his pocket and sail for Baroda
as soon as the news came that the
young man was about to succeed to
his throne. We are under the i'm
preston that he Is still no more
than heir and. like the other mem
bers OF the Baroda Invasion Club,
We continue shaving way at far
less profitable pursuits until the
great day arrives.
Next to Chinese and Indians, men
who conduct humorous Newspaper
columns are the worst poker play-
ers In the world.
Looking back on Il all. we ara
regretful. We have learned TO plav
poker well. but we are by this time
not appreciably richer fon IL. In the
course Of fifteen or twenty years
We have mastered . few Compare
lively simple mathematical facts
dealing with the laws Of chances.
but in all those years we have ad-
vanced no nearer to any accurate
understanding OF human nature.
Poker Is good deal like chess. The
man who plays well may possibly
be OF some other use In. life, but
the chances are against It.
And yet we have always been
fascinated by the notion Of what
poker must be like In Greenland.
There at last is the proper spot
for, an all might game. But even
Greenland. we suppose, must have
the player who insists on quittins
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