davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Arizona republican., 1922-03-11
THE lNN5ADDs DISCUSS THE
HUSBAND SHARING PLfN

Have you noticed today's quota
tlons on husbands?" asked Ignatius
Innbadd.
Quotations." returned Mrs, Inn
badd.
yeah" replied Ignatius. "Ain't
you heard about this new idea OF dis
posing Of husbands by the share?
They'll list EN- on the Stock EN-
bands. Common and Preferred"
Where do you get that stuff"
asked the wife. what are you raw
ing about2'
"Ain't you read about this Boston
young man who turned down an in
heritance of $1.600,000 a year ago,
but who has now decided to accept it
for use in fixing up little domestic
difficulty" asked Innbadd.
"Oh. I've read something about
him." replied Mrs. Innbadd. Hes in
love with another woman, amt he?"
"Yeah," replied Ignatius. There
are three sides 10 It, II not more, but
the wife claims according 10 the pa
pers, that her husband came home
with the other woman, the PROPOSE
! tion being made that all three settle
(
| PLY ever after"
''Id like to have been in that wife's
| Shoes" declared Mrs. Innbadd, rolling
| up both sleeves.
well the other woman was very
| fair about 1t. according to the report, /"
replied Ignatius. "She promised not
to make any fuss II the wife wouldn't
She's quoted here as saying she is
! perfectly willing to share the young
man with his wife, but that the wife
won't agree TO 1t. It's funny how
stubborn a wife can be about thing
like that
what aid the wife say?" asked
Mrs. Innbadd.
II suppose she told him that Il he
had any ideas about improving the
! interior decorations of their little
farmhouse he could start furnishing
II with furniture instead OF blondes
replied 1nnbadd
What did the husband say?'
asked Mrs. Innbadd.
"oh he has very novel IDEAS" ex.
Arizona republican., 1922-03-11
Our Rival Melting Pct

The immigration expert OF the Cleveland Trust
company believes that America will sometime have
70 yield Russia the position of chief magnet OF
immigration. The expert does not state, OF course,
that the tide will be shifted that way very
that we need add the prospective loss OF our
position a melting pot to immediate worries
The expert is. no doubt looking as far into the
future as we look backward to account for other
shiftings of population-the Mongo invasion OF the
western world and the scattering OF the races when
he Atlantic broke down the thin barrier which
araed it the great and fertile valley which is
now the bed Of the Mediterranean.
The latter event occurred, If it ever occurred,
long before any history of which we know was writ
ten And perhaps when the shifting populations are
moving Russia-wa all history that has been written
10 date will have been lost and forgotten.
But if we knew that the beginning OF this diver
sion was to be next year or next month, still
would regard the shift with relief and certainly
with no alarm. Russia is country that ought to be
more densey settled than it is. There is more out
doors there any other subdivision in the world
There should be opportunities development there
which exist nowhere else in so great measure.
The immigration expert, though, looks with alarm
upon the movement which he predicts. 1t will halt
the immigration to America which performs our dirty
work. road building, ditch digging etc. 1t will make
many Of us take off our white collars and buckle
down it.
Well that will not be a bad thing for this coun-
try and its people. There too many people now
holding down white-colar jobs, which, as q rule are
the worst kind of Jobs All the whte-collar work
could better be accomplished by fewer operators
But we have good many native-born Arnert-
cans engaged in useful and effective dirty work. In
fact the most and the best OF 1t is being done BY
Americans And we have had such good start from
the immigration Of three centuries that we can
run on under our steam now.
We do not think that it is essential to the fulfill
ent Of the higher destiny of America that should
remain melting pot.
Arizona republican., 1922-03-11

To the Editor:
In some way another II seems to Of
licked out that 1 been spending vile
in the sunny south, though personally
never breathed q wd. to nobody only
a syndicate Of newspapers but any
way here it is the secret Is no longer
a secret and letters has been pouring
in at the rate OF one per annum beg
ging me to tell them about my ex-
periences in what is so aptly named
Dixie land.
Well, friends, they's not space
enough to tell all my experiences let
alone il / had brains enough left to
tell same so will half to ask my
friends kind indulgents and limit my
speech at this time to one faze of my
experiences, namely, my experiences
with the railroads Of the far south,
which one OF my readers has kindly
asked me to tell them how they differ
from same in the north.
Well, friends, the chief differents
between the railroads Of the north
and those OF Georgia and Florida for
inst is that in regards TO the former
most of the railroads has all ready
been completed while IN the latter
case it says on the time table that
they's q great many lines still ur-
der construction and as a result they
are suffering from growing pains the
most OF which seems to occur at
night.
The death throws OF a sheep in the
U. 8. stock yards is nothing compared
with what Florida train goes
through at night When a man rides
on a night train between say Chicago
and St. Paul or Boston and N. 7.
their feelings is one of self pity but
the party that enjoys the night trip
between Jacksonville and Tampa or
Miami and Daytona can only feel
sympathy for the rolling stock.
In justice to the latter must say at
this pt, that in the north the engines
is just numbered vile in the south
land they are not only numbered but
named with names hike James f,
Smith and William II. Brannen, etc,
80 that suppose a engine Is going
along minding It's own business and
all of a sudden it Is passing home
where the family have got children
and just AS il is passing same the
mother notices that her husband or
one of her kids aint home for sup
per so she hollers Smitty or Bill and
the engine stops thinking ii means he
A Pretty Compliment
Then ii has got to start all over
again and generally always starts
backwards as the destination in front
of it is some place like Fort Pierce or
Palms Baech where the inclination OF
a common carrier Is to keep away
from.
Another differents between south
ern and northern railroads is that
down south whenever you come to a
big town, the engine backs in because
they know they can't afford to stay
there vile up north they always go in
forwards nth their head up because
they know they are just rs good as
the town with the exception of Phila-
delphia where they go in frontwards
or backwards or however they car
get there as they are glad 10 be there
In exchange for which pretty little
compliment l hope to get treated al
good there as the last time.
At this pit. I might mention that
heard a rumor 10 the effect that mosi
Of the automobile roads in Georgis
Arizona republican., 1922-03-11
rha Best Ronus Araument

Whatever hardship the adjusted compensation
act may impose upon the country the only question
10 be decided whether it to the soldiers It
,o baep chiefly opposed on the ground that the
conntry cannot just now afford It. Some go farther
and claim that we do it; that the $50 month
Maid the bows overseas for their hardships in muddy
trencbes their peril Of bullet bomb and gas. was in
f, for their service others go dsgustngly farther
and talk of cheapening patriotism by putting price
,pon IT, TO pay the boys now would be to dirn TO
tarnish their glory
We know what the boys did overseas. We know
~ tho opnortunites which they as well as the poys
T., 80 raining camps at home missed the opportu-
i+ies FOR working at such wages as had never oeen
.a of and the opportunities which many of those
1, remained IN civil life embraced TO pile up Tor
,os Wore was an inequality which justice demands
nam be leveled so far as possible at this late date
,rne hest thing we have read on either side OF the
- ,,ostton was the speech of Chairman Fordney
NC wholesale Lumbermen at Chicago on Ihurs-
IL We suppose his hearers, representative OK
r.. tnd,strv as most of the representatives OF In
+ commerce and finance, were opposed 10 the
bonus -, o ,,o,,r
Hen, what MIR. Forney said and call upon your
mort memory for proof of the aosouOe "uIh u ~
oorrnarisou of the service abroad of the
s,ers with the distractions which were olleteu "
50 ,',oa NV our greedy. unpatriotic stay-at-
homes: ,,. .,o.. hove ~rer.
roo strikes were carried They
~ .rf,iny for shorter hours and more pay
No., ,pere doing 1t so successfully that up
-,tar IL 1918 not single American
80, had been fired during the war"
IL, ,ben been in the war when 1t ended one
we 10y. ,.r months and yet because Of the IN
Arizona republican., 1922-03-11

has been tested, the results show a
substantial increase in the yield Of
corn. In Wisconsin a test OF fire
dried pure bred corns carried on for
a period Of five years, showed an
average yield OF 72 bushels 70 the
acre. In one case III bushels OF corn
were raised on an acre OF ground.
q. How much did federal opera
tion Of railroads cost the govern.
msnt7 .. n. D.
A. In a report Of the director gen
eral OF roalroads. published In 1920,
a table is presented showing that the
total amount OF monev appropriated
or necessary to be appropriated by
the government on account OF the
operation OF the railroads was ST.
SS6, ,322, ,Ss5. OF this amount ti.03i,-
500 451 covers items OF Indebtedness
and investment which Will eventually
be repaid to the government.
q. What are the "PenitentiaI
Psalns"7 q. D.
A. The penitential psalms are the
seven psalms in which repentance is
expressed and pardon asked OF Coo.
In the Authorized Version they are:
6. 80, Ss, 81. i02. $50 and i43. II is
said that Saint Augustine when dy-
ing caused these psalms TO be writ
ten out on the wall facing his bed.
The most deeply penitential Is the
51st Psalm. known also as the Mis-
erere.
q. Are there any motion picture
taken in tho United States with all
Chinese easts7 G. e. q.
A. There Is at least one company
on the coast which releases films
taken with a cast made up entirely
of Chinese
@. How is ths word seeiIrnstsd ae-
eontuated? c. e.
A. AcclimateH is accented on the
second syllable
@. How did the expression "frse
lance" originats7 p. NJ. A.
A. In the later Middle Ages bands
OF knights bearing lances and men
at arms went from state TO state
selling their services to any who was
wiling To pay for their aid. They were
free from allegiance to any one
country.
@. Who wrote the Widow Bedott
Paoers? !. NJ. c.
A. These humorous sketches that
were originally published In Nears
Saturday Gazette. were written By
Frances Miriam Whitcher
@. What Shakespearean character
has che most lines 70 speak7 AMP.
A. Professor Rolfe gives the fol-
lowing figures: Hamlet, 1863 lines;
! Richard III, 1,161; Iago. LII; Henry
V as both King and Prince. speaks
1887 lines and Falstaff in both
Henry Nv and Henry V, 1895 lines.
Q. What language 10 spoken in
Haiti? X. r.
A. The current language OF this
republic is French. but the peasantry
| speak q dialect.
Arizona republican., 1922-03-11

The zeal of our rat hunters appears to be slow
ing up For the same period year ago the nimrods
wrote down a total yield Of 74,OS4 victims. Last
month only 2S91s of the rodents were consigned to
the st. Quen furnaces.
Has the rodent tribe. which continues to multi
ply become more wary? This would seem to be the
answer for the administration has been bending
every effort hasten the deratization An engineer
has even been especially designated to regulate the
mobilization Of the hunters and to organize the
campaign.
The most deceptive and ingenious snares have
been conceived. 1t is true of course. that in one
case the hunters forgot to bait the traps with the
result that only few abnormal rodents who wished
to commit suicide caught. In desperation, re-
course was then had to the good offices Of ferret
The rats ate it.-Le Petit Parisien Paris.
Arizona republican., 1922-03-11
THE ONCE OVER
D. IL pHTTTTPc
By II. I. PHILLIPS

planned Ignatius. ''F"rinstance. be
cant see any justice in a social order
that allows a man TO have million
or more dollars but not more than
one mate. He says money is a non.
essential. That, TO my mind, proves
that no matter how many girls may
figure In his life he has never taken
them out to lunch"
who Is this husband, anyhow
asked Mrs. Innbadd. rs he promi-
nent?"
"It says that he comes Of Tudor
stock. | suppose that's a branch %
the well known Sweetpa Tudor fam
lily. Some OF the Tudors have had
odd ideas about domestic happiness.
Henry the Eighth was A Tudor"
what did Henry do7" asked the
wife.
"He upset the church by his fight
to bounce Queen Kittie Of Cloves
and marry Ann Boleyn."
who was Anna Boleyn?"
"She was Of the famous Boleyn@
Alley family. But. getting back 70
the Tudors, understand the wife
doesn't mind his being a Tudor but
objects to his becoming a Threedor
or a F'ourdor. A year ago when this
feller turned down the sl,600,000 he
was lilleENAeWNQ III HIS bnAN AUV1 VII
Cape Cod farm where he said that
money IN large Jumps would only
make him and the wife unhappy"
II suppose he didn't mind making
her unhappy through another woman
but didn't want to do it with money"
said Mrs. Innbadd with bitter sar-
casn1
"The other woman says that all
the young man wants Ia freedom and
spiritual growth" said Innbadd.
"She says she wouldn't touch dime
OF the S1.600,000 and that the young
man is willing to settle most OF that
upon his wife. II should blow home
some afternoon with young woman
and some such proposition what
IF You had 81 800, 900 to offer me
I'd take It," replied Mrs. Innbadd.
"Then I'd see that you got freedom
and spiritual growth. But you'd be
we'll banked with everKreens ana
roses when you got them"
Pardon me while run out and
buy a paper OF tobacco" remarked
Innbadd nervously.
Arizona republican., 1922-03-11
OUT OF THE COMMON

The golf tournament was in progress at Rothing,
ton common, and most OF the villagers had come to
witness the evening game.
All went we'll until old General Hardup took his
place at the tee.
The general looked determined and prepared for
a mighty stroke.
Accordingly he braoed himself for the effort
and let fly.
Something hit the clubhouse roof but il wasn't
the ball No; It was a huge chunk OF the common.
Extraordinary" grunted the general
'Yes it did seem bit out Of the common"
replied his sarcastic rival
Arizona republican., 1922-03-11
AN "ARMY BAND" ORGANIZED

The long talked-of army band Is at last IN being
and the personnel Of four recruit depot bands have
arrived at Fort Hunt, Va, for tests. From these men
will be selected such instrumentalists are of the
right standard and the balance will be obtained from
other
Capt. Perry w. Lewis has been assigned as COM
nlanding officer and Warrant Officer Francis Leigh
who the bandmaster Of the temporary great band
used in the recent ceremonies in Washington, D. G.,
has been ordered there. Fort Hunt, VA, is being
used to assemble and organize the band which Will
of course be stationed in Washington, d. Army
and Navy Journal.
Arizona republican., 1922-03-11
New York and the St. Lawrence ssaway

One would suppose that every city on the Great
Lakes would welcome the st. Lawrence seaway' But
one OF them does not Buffalo prefers not to become
sea port, but retain its position at the head
Of that artery, the barge canal through which SO
much of the freight originating in territory tributary
to the Great Lakes is diverted to the port OF Ne"
York.
few days ago. Hon. Henry w Hill addressed
the washburn Crosby club In Buffalo. The Buffalo
Commercial gives this summary, all in one sentence
That the project was thrust congress by COM
mission international Joint commisson) that did not
understand the facts that the barge canal was the
only practical way to the linking the Great Lakes
that the (St Lawrence) canal would be tremendous
economic burden New York state; and that Buffalo
would be deprived Of much by the St Law
renee waterway.
According to the Buffalo courier's report of the
same speech. "the canal would drive from the
state as a whole and from Buffalo in particular
great amount OF commerce which Is now their iue
The president of the Buffalo chamber OF COM
erce announced to the Kwanis club OF that city rnat
the movement must be arrested, for the project is
regarded by the Chamber Of Commerce and other
bodies as serious menace
Buffalo evidently believes that its position as
entrepot for SO much OF the of the Great Lakes
territory as passes through the barge canal Is more
important one than depot for the products of
ts tributary territory The barge canal traffic. how
ever is but a snnal part OF the traffic which New
York Port would lose and notice throughout the
state Of New York there is deep loyalty to the
metropolis.
But whatever would be the loss OF New York and
other Atlantic ports the gain to the interior territory
brought to-deep transportation through the Great
Lakes ports from Cleveland to Duluth would be ten
fold There would be such development OF the in
terror of agriculture industry could be effected
in no other way.
The country would then have many exits and
entrances to the east whereas it has now only one.
Arizona republican., 1922-03-11

they know Philadelphia and N. Y.
like a book.
Further and more when you are
going through Florida and you stop
somewheres and ask the porter
where it is he always says l ain't
never been on this run before.
The answer must be that they only
send one porter south once and then
he sees a lot of the brothers at way
stations not working a tall and get
ting a long O. K and he says TO him
self why should l be a porter and
make up uppers for people going to
st. Petersburg vile these birds don t
never work and he jumps off OF the
train and they half to get a new
porter
But that reminds me about a story
of a friend of mine and wife that was
going to Belleair and when they went
to sleep in Jacksonville they told the
porter to be sure and wake them at
| Belleair and the next a. m. they woke
up in St. Petersburg which is seven
teen miles beyond Belleair and they
said TO him why didn't YOU call us
at Belleair So he said I raped on
your door and you didn't answer and
l says to myself what Is the differents
where wake them in this state? One
! is as good as the c'"or
Arizona republican., 1922-03-11
aAlR HAS 1900 SPOONS

We may be cutting down our warships. There
10 no reduction in liners. This applies to size
as we'll to number.
Take the White Star liner, Majestic. The largest
steamer in the world is aptly named! Its tonnage
Is Sc 900 and It carry 14000 knives 1000 forks
$4,000 spoons $4,000 pieces of plate in all, 17s,0O0
pieces OF linen and 10000 pieces OF crystal and
glassware.
When one adds It's cargo crew and passengers
ones almost staggers at the responsibility which
London
Arizona republican., 1922-03-11
MBerton Brdleys
(EsS\ Daily Poem
a. Priceless
~ Possession

One can't be always young,
So l Will be resigned
To take my place among
My staid and passe kind.
I'm getting slightly gray;
All well, l do not care,
Not very much, but say
/ hope / keep my hair!
I'm Just a tritle stiff.
Not much, but just a be,
You'd never notice II
didn't tell OF It.
I'm also growing fat
Just slightly, here ana there
I'm quite resigned IN that
II l can keep my hair!
Age, do your worst 10 me,
Reduce my nerve and pep,
Until with creaking knee
! halt at every step;
Such minor woes as these
I'll try TO grin and bear,
But please-oh pretty please.
Let me retain my hair!
Snare ME the fearful fate,
The venom and the gan
OF wearing for my pate
polished billiard ball.
or sporting a toupee;
'Twould drive me mad, swear.
Take, take all else away
But let me keep my hair!
Arizona republican., 1922-03-11
Questions And
.AnSGCerS

(Any reader can get the answer 10
snv question by writing The Re
publican Information Bureau, Fred
eric j. Easkin Director Washington.
d. c. This off r applies strictly 70
information. The bureau cannot give
advice on legal, medical and finan-
cial matters. II does not attempt 70
settle domestic troubles. nor to un-
dertake exhaustive research on any
subject. Write your question plainly
and briefly. Give full name and ad-
dress and enclose cents In stamps
for return postage. All replies are
sent direct to the inquirer.)
@. Which ,s the largest bank In
the world? NJ. B. 3.
A. The Federal Reserve Bank OF
New York is the largest bank in the
world. The Bank OF England is prob
ably the finest in the world from
an architectural standpoint The Fed
eral Reserve Bank OF New York does
more business than the Bank Oh
England
@. Does fire drying Of seed corn
increase the yield of corn? v. p.
A. Where fire dry ing Of seed corn
Arizona republican., 1922-03-11

II things went wrong in this country, We
should be deprived OF the gerat American pastirne,
investigating something another II is true that
our Investigations are seldom fruitful But what OF
that. There was always more pleasure in pursuit
than possession.
Arizona republican., 1922-03-11

1t is bad thing to get into a rut and stay in i
but it is safer than skidding on slippery ground
Arizona republican., 1922-03-11

When the last OF the proposed constitutional
amendments has been signed, the Democratic pri-
mary campaign may be regarded having been
formerly opened.
Arizona republican., 1922-03-11
SATURDAY MORNING. MARCH II, 1922

The loss Of a friend is like that of
a limb. Time may heal the anguish
of the Vound, bat the loss cannot be
repaired. -Southey.
The Nenana news. (Nenana, Alaska) 1921-1923, 1922-12-26
HARDING PLANNING TRIP
TO ALASKA NEXT SUMMER

SEATTLE, Dec. 26-The Wash
ine3on correspondent Of the Seattle
Times says, in a special wire TO the
paper, that President Harding is a
gain planning trip TO Alaska for
next summer, to make a study Of
conditions in the territory with a
view to formulating intelligent leg
islation to cover the problems of the
territory and 70 pave the way for
the proper development of indust-
ries.
The President is hopeful that Mrs.
Harding will be we'll enough by sum-
mer for him to absent himself from
the White House, and that the legis-
lative situation and international
conditions al that time will be such
as not TO interfere with his plans.
The prospects for the trip are re-
garded brighter now than at any
time since the President first ex-
pressed desire to visit the Terri
tory, but there are so many things
that may arise to interfere that Off
icial announcement of the journey
probably will not be made until af-
ter the close of the present session
Of Congress.
Natures are progressing so salts
factorily in Congress that there ap-
pears TO be no reason al this time
for an extra session after the fourth
of next March, 50 that there is
hardly q chance that pending legis-
lation viii interfere with the plans.
The Nenana news. (Nenana, Alaska) 1921-1923, 1922-12-26
DR.. BOWEN SELLS STOCK
H.: IN HEALY COAL COMPANY

Dr.. ]. r. Bowen, president Of the
Healy River Coal Corporation, has
disposed of his entire holdings in
the company, as the result of a
deal which was consumated in Fair
banks within the last few days. The
Bowen interests have been acquired
by R. S. Donaldson, manager of the
company and Captain A. E. Lathrop
vice president. The amount involved
in the transaction has not been
made public.
While no statements have been
made regarding the plans of the
company, beyond confirming the re-
port of the transfer of interests,
it is understood that reorganization
of the company is in prospect.