South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1922-04-02

umph in this years election Is that
French astrologer's forecast that
this Will be a year OF pestilence,
sorrow and calamity.
Il isn't home unless you own It.
Get Bill Rosewarne 70 figure on
that bungalow for you. Quit being
a tenant as soon as possible. You
owe Mary, the kids and the pointer
pup that much. you trihing rascal
Omcers dumred $4,000 gallons
OF beer, wine and hootch into the
/ Chicago river the other day. There
IS one stream that even blockade
hootch can't pollute.
We take Il that those Scots Doug
las Malloch referred 10 as being
In asylums came from Ayrshire or
Argyleshire.
Don't be impatient. ladies. In
seven months there Will be an cleo
ton and you can then know the
thrill Of voting against somebody.
Plant that little bungalow down
amid the floral glory and verdant
beauty Of the springtime.
If the Lord forgives men only IN
measure that men forgive their
enemies. the devil may as we'll look
about him TO see how much the
territorial boundaries Of his king
, dom may be showed outward.
, A Washington policeman, who
, started on the force % years ago,
has saved 100000 on SIS a month.
That's thrift. although our knowl-
edge of figgers doesn't reach a case
like this.
In Kurdistan a man only has TO
say TO MS wife three times II di-
. vorce you" and the thing is done.
. We believe a divorce system like
! that would soon cause a great deal
of confusion in this country.
We suppose Tennyson was right
about it. The season is here. and
so far as we know the young mems
] fancy. as a rule, is not seriously
/ turning 10 lnOuSnLS d CIOpS-
/
A dispatch TO the New York
World says "Trotzky is itching for
war" If Trotzky's comp laint is
Fostering him. we advise him TO try
the old remedy of sulphur and lard
And after applying it, let him not
stand too close to the fire.
Still all the fashions, follies and
foibles Of woman have not so far
, cooled the fervor or enthusiasm Of
the opposite sex for her.
Besides. It is entirely probable
that the ice men will so monopolize
, the attention Of the consumers this
summer that they will give very
= little heed TO the coal strike.
We are authorized by Peers
Brothers, the demon news agents
2 and wholesale candy dealers, to an
r nounce that they will give every
Mishawaka man who marries and
. builds a bungalow this year a full
Z supply Of flower and garden seeds,
/ even if they have to corner the
; country's seed market.
I. Mishawaka's free and independent
I. climate has shown again that per-
{; sons who circulate rumOrs that il
3 never rains in Mishawaka are pale
: blue liars.
= There have been 80 killings, 40
shooting, S5 hold-ups - burglaries
{, and thefts too numerous to mention
I in New York since Jan. !. We
have reformed their stomachs con-
! siderably. but, as old jeremiah re-
n marked. "the heart is deceitful
I. above all things and desperately
= wicked
Still the chances are II the fussy
old world were to get back TO nor
d NAL with peace. prosperity and ev-
erything, we wouldn't be satisfied
, with ii. There is simply a whole
n lot Of wolf and cat in human ma
ture and It is going to manifest it.
4; self
There are II, 900 lawyers in New
: York and only IL 500 policemen. II
must work 1850 policemen almost
10 death TO keep 10000 lawyers
. busy.
The presidents ownership Of 50
70 pairs OF pants shows that there is
L a vast and thrilling difference be-
i tween the presidency OF the United
States and the presidency Of the
y Marion Star Publishing company.
N
. Lloyd George saws the result OF
4 the war IS still in doubt. II is in
Z deed II is unfinished business. and
n the future Is uncertain.
m A grieving musician OF Chicago
SAYS beer and wine worked ur
E sentiment for music but there is