The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1922-01-24


WE are indebted to Friend Rios colyum
for reminding us that Valentines day is in
the offing. Last year Peter sent US lovely
valentine but it came rather late-almost too
late for publication. Any such offerings this
year should be mailed two days in advance of
publication; and We guess We'll follow Rigs
bunch and forbid that any be sent to u.s. Send
EN-, thereby warming the W. k cookies Of his
heart.
ERUDITIoN IS JACKS FIRST NAME PROB
ABLY SCAMOZzI WAS ONLY
KIDDING Us.
Mister Mac,
in care The Tombstone.
Dear Sir: Me and some OF the other plebs
is troubled on account we can't savvy them
cracks you make about the Eros egg, and is
Socrates and Euphrosyne their right name?
guess Socrates must have been tough
egg, all right l asked Jack Fisher about it,
and he says this bird Soc is dead now, but in
the early days was stone cutter by trade,
and orked at it when they wasn't any fighting
going Oh in Greek
Soc joined the 1. W. w. at an early age, and
was great guy to get on soap box and pass
out the bunk
Jack says, Soc didn't know nothing about
hard times until he gets tangled up with this
wren Yankstippie This old crow gets Soc
to Iningle with her for life, but it amt long
before she puts the bee on Soc so often that
60
and don't have time to split the wood and bring
home the PORK chops for the babies to MUNICH
on
Yankstippie calls the bull one night; Soc
is pinched and throwed in the hoos cow for
thirty days.
Soc is setting pretty for about % days
when all of a sudden he remembers tomorrow
he can go home to his loved ones. They amt
much hope until Soc finally stumbles onto the
bottle of henna the sheriff's wife uses, and he
QuaffS Oft cup full.
| Soc is dead now, but where does the egg
come in at? Did Jack slip me the right dope?
SCORPIC. Z,
ALMOST were we persuaded to address a
hattering paragraph to ScamoZzi when Eteocles
made ANYTHING we might say the damnation of
faint praise by exclaiming: THAT fellow is a
regular z. ID. s.! Tother day gentleman
high in the world of music told our daughter
he got more enjoyment out of our colyum than
he did "a 25-cent joke book. Considering our
opinion of all S. c. joke books we regard the
compliment with m O.. dubiosty.
%Some Folks Thinks They're ALFRED
Funny, Don't They?"
[Annawan Corr, The August
Boots Powell, who was cutting ice
for Doc. Young on the canal Saturav
had a close call for a frigid introduction
to torrid hereafter when a sudden gust
of wind blew him into the icy waters of
the Canal. AIler MS 1ellOW workers had
pulled him out he said that he was al
ways against taking bath in the winter
but now that he was all nice and clean
he would go home and put on his other"
clothes and be already for Sunday Doc
Young would have rushed him to the
hospital and resuscitated him but he was
too busy cutting ice and besides the hos
ptal is taking sort OF a vacation now
and Boots" was allowed to dry out nat
urally without surgical or medical aid.
A CORRESPONDENT of the New York
Tribune is amazed" that it should permit
such rank obscenity as Percy Hammond pours
forth in his review of Hergesheimer's "Cythe-
rea'". Why the araazement? Mr. Hammond
merely ihterprets what he finds between the
covers of the books he reviews If the reader
finds "cbscenity" in Percys entertaining com
meats, it lis our guess that the s. c. obscenity
is to be found in the books.
The Lugubrious 0pimist.
tKewanee Corr The Argus1
AS the result of ptomaine poisoning
from eating canned peas. Fred Fincher,