, 1922-01-11
hon. ]. D. WOODRUFF PUTS
A few PERTINENT QUESTIONS
TO METHODIST REFORNERS
Salaried Kill--Joys a Plague Like Itch
and Coolies, Says Pioneer Wyoming
Sheepman---Pities Adam and Eve
(By Hon. J. D. wooDRUFF)

The Reverend Henry BowiDy claims
his Methodist God made the world
and everything in it and on it in six
days. rested on the seventh, and cal
led it all good.
II the Reverend would stop and
think a minute-which of course he
cannot do-he would know that his
claim is not well founded, for. IL his
God did finish his job in six days and
wen away not to return until now,
he would no know it for the same
world.
Take the case of Adam and Eve
as his God left them in the Garden
Of Eden. If one reflects upon the
condition they were in, sympathy
must be- aroused and the belief that
Adam showed good Judgement in
breaking out.
Imagine being PEN ed up there with
a naked woman, hing but fruit to
eat. nothing to wear, nothing to do
and nc incentive whatever for living,
How can you picture hell IL that amt
it?
We know, to be sure, that an attrac-
tive woman has q considerable inter
est for any ~red-blooded male man, and
it is perfectly natural that he should
break every law, that he should hui
initiate himself. that he should do
things of which he is ashamed after
ward. that he should take desperate
chances. that he should give up his
money and his self respect, in fact,
that he should willingly sell himself
to the devil for her; and yet IL that
same woman was put before him max.
ed all the time. SO that he could 11ot
get away. he soon would become dis.
gusted and she would have no more
attraction for him than a horse or a
COW.
If 1t had been arranged SO that by
some little exertion or trouble, Eve
could have gone out in the bushes and
come back with a spool of thread. a
paper of pins. a bar of SOAP or a dime
novel. even a fried doughnut or any
one of the thousand things that man
has made since Bowlby's God quit the
job, there would have been some in
centive for them to live aud they
would no doubt have been there yet
It would have been better judge
ment and more enjoyable If the Me-
thodist God had fixed up a wireless
station so that Adam could have cal
led up headquarters inc gotten per-
mission to go out and prospect for a
hammer and saw, boards, a keg of
nails and a little baling wire hat he
might have built himself a fivver and
perhaps a phonograph-after he had
made a kitchen table and a bedstead.
and driven in n few nails for Eve to
hang her fig leaves on. But, in some
unaccountable way, all of these es-
sential things were overlooked and
all the poor devils had was just plen-
ty of naked scenery. which, as has
since been learned, is damned poor
diet.
Now, seriously, Reverend, don't you
think your Methodist God overlooked
many things when he made the world?
If, as you say, he made all things,
conducts and does all things, and is
all-wise, why do you get down on your
knees and ask him to change his
plans? Why do you have the gall to
attempt to advise him? Why do o
try to undo his work and go against
his wishes?
If you believe what you preach, why
do you praise him for having stopped
the great war and fail to censure him
for having let it start in the first
place?
II you believe what you preach
that your Methodist God is all-wise,
that He knows all things and does
all things, that He is charitable and
not a sparrow falls without his notice
why do you with your petty intel
lect try to undo His work by feeding
the starving Chinese?
No, Reverend. If you would stop to
think and reason a little-which hav-
ing a brain that can contain but one
idea you can,t-you would know that
your Methodist God is a myth. a very
unreasonable myth and not entitled
to a serious thought.
II you could only stop to think, you
would know that the condition in Chi
ma is not a visitation of God but a
o spot on the earth and that Ma
ture in her cold-blooded positive way
ia trying to heal It.
The people there have become SD
numerous that the earth cannot sup
port them. They have grown up I'M
der such conditions of u~nder-nourish-
ment and privation that they are hui
man in form only and are Of nc more
Importance to Nature than SO many