The Idaho Republican. [volume] (Blackfoot, Idaho) 1904-1932, 1922-05-18
Is England Going
Dry
BY STEPHEN LEACOCK

Canada the principal topic of polite
conversation is now prohibition. At
every dinner party the serving of the
cocktails Immediately introduces the
subject; the rest Of the dinner is en-
livened thruout with the discussion
Of rum runners. bootleggers and
storage Of liquor.
Under this influence all social and
conversational values are shifted
and rearranged. A scholarly" man
no longer means a man who can talk
well on literary subjects, but a man
who understands the Eighteenth
Amendment and. can explain the
legal difference between implement
tai statutes such as the Volstead Act
and the underlying state legisla-
tions.
A scientist" (invaluable in these
conversations) Is man who can
make clear the distinction between
| alcoholic percentage by bulk and by
weight. And a brilliant engineer"
means a man who explains how to
make home-brewed beer with kick
in it.
Similarly, "raconteur" means
| man who has fund of amusing
| stories about bootleggers and an "in-
| teresting traveller means man who
+ has been to Havana and can explain
i how wet it is.
Is 1t Dry?
Indeed, the whole conception Of
travel and Of interest in foreign
countries is now altered; as soon as
anybody mentions that he has been
in foreign country, all the COM
pany ask in one breath: "Is it dry?"
The question "How is Samoa?"
or "How is Turkey?" or "How is
British Columbian" no longer refers
to the climate or natural resources.
1t means: 'Is the place dry?" When
such a question is asked, and the
answer is, "It's wet" there is deep
groan all around the table.
understand that when the recent
disarmament conference met at
Washington, just as the members
were going to sit down at the table,
M. BRAND said to President Hard
ing: How dry is the United States,
anyway"
And the whole assembly talked
about it for half an hour. That was
why the first newspaper bulletins
merely said: Conference exchanges
. credentials -"
When Leacock Was Shocked
AS a "discoverer" Of England on
a lecture tour last autumn, there
fore made it one of my chief cares to
try to obtain accurate information
on this topic. was we'll aware that
Immediately on my return to Canada
the first question I should be asked
would be: "Is England going dry?"
i realized that in any report !
might make to the National Geo
graphical society or to the Political
Science association, the members OF
these bodies, being scholars, would
want accurate information about the
: price of whisky, the percentage OF
alcohol and the hours O.. opening
and closing the saloons.
! My first impression on the subject
was, must say, one Of severe moral
shock. Landing in England after
having spent the summer in Ontario,
it seemed terrible thing to see peo-
pie openly drinking on an English
train.
In an Ontario train. as everybody
knows, there is no way Of taking q
drink except by climbing up on the
: roof, lying fiat on ones stomach, and
: taking q suck out of flask. But in
England, in any dining car, one actu.
ally sees q waiter approach a person
dining and say: Beer, sir, ol
wine?"
This is done in broad daylight
with no apparent sense of criminal
ity or moral shame. Appalling the
1t sounds, bottled ale IL openly sold
on the trains ct Is cents q bottle
and dry sherry at 18 cents glass.
II When I first saw this expected tt
see the waiter arrested on the spot
looked around to see If there wert
any "spotters," detectives, or sec;e:
service men On the train. I antici
pated that the train conductor would
appear and throw the waiter OF the
car.
But then realized that I was n
England and that in the British Isles
they still tolerate the consumption
Of alcohol. Indeed. doubt II they
Continued on page four