Evening star., 1922-05-28
THE VALLEY. OF PLENTY
-Hs mere had brakeman.

MY oId ana foVef0Q 1r1efo, Sc3udAIouS
Doolan, 10 much addicted to opening a
narrative smack down. the middle, As
though It we're an oyster. and then, by
degrees, working both ways-toward
the start ana the finish. 30 1t did not
greatly surprise me, that without
preface. dedication, index or chapter
heading he should suddenly Introduce q
head brakemans and freiena train Into
q conversat1sn which until that fnorseut
had dealt with topics not IN the least
akin to these. Indeed. knowing .hifn.as
did, 1t seemed to me all the better
reason why should promptly. incline the
S-se0y sAr. for over and above his
sccentric,ties In the matter. Of LAUNCH
Ing a subject Mr.. Doolan is, the only
member Of his calling Lever saw who
talks IN real life as all the members
Of his calling are fondly presumed to
talk. in story books and on the stage.
I hearkened, therefore, saying moth
ing, and sure enough, having dealt for
. brief passage OF time &1th the Incl.
dsnt Of a certain enforced departure
from a certain as yet unnamed common
carrier, he presently retraced his verbal
footsteps and began a. the beginning.
T QUOTE in fun: YES. stts;, that's what
l he does. Refusing toFAsten to rea-
son, this here head brakeman. which
anybody could tell just by looking at
him that he didn't have no heart a-tall
and no soul. so as you could notice it,
he just red lights US of into the peace
ful and sunHt bosom Of the rooral New
York state landscape. But before
reaching the landscape 1t becomes
necessary for us to slide down a grade
Of a perpendicular character, and in
passing 1 am muoh pleased to note that
the right OF way; Is self-trimmed to
match the prevalent style OF scenery
with maybe few cinders intefspersed
for decorations. There is ops. class sof
travellers which prefers a roadbed rock
ballasted, and these Is those which goes
on trains from -piace-to place. There's
another kind which nkes a roadbed done
In the natural materials, and them's the
kind which goes at trains from time
to time. And VI .w0. being for the
moment in this hfsss. ~ AsS much
gratified by the uircunsstEho0
And we sits - ana dusts ourselves
of in a nonchaiant manner while the
little old choo-choo continues upon her
way to Utica, Syracuse and all points
west, leaving me and the Sweet Caps
Kid with all the bright world before US
and nothing behind US but the police
force.
"For some months previous to this
me and the Sweet Caps Kid has been
sojourning in that favored metropolis
which is bounded on one side by q
loud sound and on the other by a steep
blum. and Is doing her constant best
at all times to live UP to the surround
ings Needless to say I refer to little
Moo Yawk, the original haunt of the
come-on and the native habitat Of the
sure thing. where the jays bite freely
and the woods are full of fish. We
have been doing very well there-very,
very well. considering. What with
working the nuts on the side streets
right off Broadway and playing a little
three-card monte down round Coney in
the cool Of the evening and once in a;
while selling sturdy husbandmah from
over Jersey way a couple Of admission
tickets to Central Park, we have found
no cause to complain ae the business
depression. 1t sure looks to US like con-
fidence has been restored and any time
she seems little backward we take
steps to restore her some ourselves.
But all of a sudden something seems
to tell me that we oughter be moving.
0VoU know how them mysterious
premonitions comes to feller.
A little bird whispers to you. or you
have q dream, or else you walk into the
mitt joint and hand a he-note to a
dark-eomplected lady wearing red
kinona and a brown mustache, and
she takes a flash at your palm and
seems to see dark man coming with a
warrant, followed by a trip up a great
river to a large stone building like a
castle. Or else headquarters issues a
general alarm. giving names, dates, per-
sonal description, size Of reward and
place where last seen. This time it's
a general alarm. From what I could
gather, a down-casted Issy Wisen-
heimer has been up to the front parlor
beefing about his vanishing bank roll
and his disappearing breastpin. You
wouldn't think a seif-respecting citizen
of a great republic like this'n would
carry on 80 over thirty-eight dollars in
currency and a diamond. so yellow IT
woulda been a topaz if it had been any
yellower. But such was indeed the
case. / CLEANS a little valuable infor-
nation from a friendly barkeeper who's
got a brother -in-law at the central
ONCE, and 50 Is IN position to get hold
of much interesting and timely chit
chat before it becomes common gossip
throughout the neighborhood. So then
] takes the Sweet Caps Kid of to one
side and 1 says to him, I says:
'Kiddo.' 1 says, listen: I've got a
strong presentiment that We. should
oushter be going completely away from
here. II we don't. the first thing you
know some plain-clothes bull with fallen
arches and his neck shaved way up
high in the back will be coming round
asking us to go riding with him down
town into the congested district, and II
we declines the invitation like as not
he'll muss- our clothes all up. Do you
seem to get my general drift says.
:" Huh he says, you talk az II there'd
been . -sQueaL' :. =. ---,- sir !.
'squealr says. 'Squeal2 Son. you
can take, it from me there's been a regu-
lar season Of grand opera. You and me
are about to be accused Of pernicious
activity. What's more. they're liable
to prove 1t. There's q movement on foot
in influential quarters to- provide us
with. board and lodgings at q place
which will not name to you in 50
many words on account OF your weak
heart. The work there says. Is regu-
lar and the rneata in served nm time