davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1922-12-31
RESOLUTIONS
BY TOM SIMS

that Will stay sworn, we II INK
Swear that you Will so hungry II
You have nothing to eat for a while.
That you Will let it get dark every
night just after dusk.
That you will pay the coal dealer
what he asks YOU to pay.
That you will get wet if you stand
in the rain long enough.
That you VIII let congress forget
why it was elected.
That. no matter how mad, YOU
will refuse to whip Jack Dempsey.
That you will let the sun continue
10 rise just about sunup.
That (unless you are too rich) you
Will pay your taxes.
That you viii let PERI etual motion
remain a secret.
That YOU viii let your colds get
well Of their own accord.
That you Will wear what the style
makers say wear.
That you will let Wednesday come
between Tuesday and Thursday.
That YOU will kiss any girl who
wants you to kiss her.
That the missing link shall stay
missing as far as you are concerned
That YOU will jump when your
wife tells you 20 jump.
That YOU Will let Amundsen visit
the north pole for you.
That YOU VIII never insist there be
two nights without a day between.
That you viii be behind with your
grocery bill.
That YOU VIII say this is the worst
blankety blank country in the uni
verse even though YOU know it is
the best.
our ninety-nine-year guarantee
that none Of these resolutions win be
Broken, no matter how flimsy they
are made. goes TO every reader.
But what we started out 20 say
was Happy New Year
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1922-12-31

You people who have the time
and wherewith to think must real
lie New Year resolutions have been
wrong 1921 years.
In the past we have solemnly
sworn TO stop certain things
In the future we should Solo
monty swear TO start certain things.
II is simply a case OF the atmOs-
phere overcoming the hemisr here;
the positive taking the place of the
negative. or similar something.
During these past 1921 times the
diHculty has been in finding simple
things 10 swear to start doing. 1t
was easy to locate simple things not
TO do.
You could swear not to make a
million and live up TO it in spite Of
all inclinations to the contrary.
You could swear off shooting ele-
plants and. without an uncommon
streak Of bad luck, you shot no ele-
plants.
You could swear off smoking.
which YOU had TO do If you got any
cigars for Christmas.
You could swear off cussing traf-
fic cops and not break it more than
once. PERHAPS just half that often.
Finding simple things 20 swear
not TO do has been as easy as con
vincing a girl she is the exact image
Of movie star.
But finding simple things 20
swear TO do has been as hard as
convincing a bow-.egged girl she is
knoCk-kneed
Realizing the terrible shortage OF
simple things to swear TO do we are
giving away q list free.
This LIST is so easy a college grad
uate can grasp it.
We even venture so far as 10 say
your boss could understand several
OF the minor suggestions.
II is the only 1923 list OF swears
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1922-12-31

Standardization. While she makes our faces so diff
ferent that two are exactly alike in the whole
world. We're al about the same when .he surgeon
begins exploring our interiors.
Somebody said something about the exception
proving the rule.
You read about Miss Moore az the two stomachs.
and cay 70 yourself, Thank goodness I have only
one stomach. Enough Indigestion it IS without
having two"
How do ycu know you have stomach at au2
Did you ever see it,
Did any one else ever see it2
OF course not You take it for granted that you
have stomach Every human tnats ever been
opened has been found 20 have one. so you accept
that as satisfactory evidence
Maybe you have two stomachs maybe none.
There's always tho exception to the general rule.
and o telling what it'll be.
At least nne-tenths Of what think We know
is hearsay-second-hand knowledge. You believe
that there's a country, China But were you ever
there out for yourself?
The only PROOF some OF our soldiers had that they
in Europe, the word Of their officers With
out accepting secondhand proof, for all they know
they might have been in Africa
\ favorite line OF Big Talk makes much OF the
ACCESSIBILITY Of careful invesgation-such as Don't
believe it unless you it with your own eyes"
Alas. there's so much to be seen. and LIES so
short, that have to accept rumors as authentic
when a sufficient number Of persons verify the
In the last analysis how do you know that the
stuff your auto is gasoline instead OF
water with peculiar odor? Did you ever analyze
It 10 make certain? Even If you tried, how you
be certain that the method is correct?
With most knowledge based on hearyay evidence
-rumor-smau wonder that the world is cluttered
with misnfornaslon. Back of this is definite
peril Certain groups are forever conspiring to
make the public accept faxed hearsay as estab-
iished fact
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1922-12-31
SHORT BURROWS
By KIN HUBBARD

There's two great problems
confrontln' US tday-th' perplexin'
parllln' question that's puzzlin' our
brightest minds an tn great over
towerin' problem o. tn livin' wage.
TIL former problem, O. course. kin
be easily settled by two methods.
First, by raisin' tn price O. gaso-
line { dollar an fifty Gems a quart,
an second. by placin tn the-aters
an department stores about fifteen
miles apart TIL Twin wage ques-
ton is purity ticklish. Theirs such
a vast assortment O. wage earners-
single double, nifty, slouchy, aspir-
in, staid, happy, resentful, indus
trious, slothful, skilled. nearly skill
ed an worthless. We have tn
house painter that dresses like a
promoter an changes his clothes an
combs his hair on his employers
time, an tn carpenter that's allus
settin' his plane We have tn hap
py. single, whistlin' bod carrier an
tn hod carrier that's payin' all
mOny. In fact theirs as much diff
ference in wage earners as Their is in
salary gitters, an some salary git
tiers kick on fifty thousan' dollars
year. After all, salaried fellers are
only dOled up wage earners that
went { school longer than tn aver
age shOveler. We have railroad
presidents that don't git any bigger
pay than a paper hanger would if
he worked till six O'Clock. An We
have wage earners that wouldn't
work over one forenoon a week IL
they got what they think they're
worth. An too, we've got salary
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1922-12-31

gitters an wage makers that
couldn't live at all II they got what
they're worth But we can't see any
other way out o. tn wage muddle
'cept by havin' each employer have
his workmen fill out tn follerin'
QUESTIONABLE an pay 'em accord
in'ly:
Do you smoke a big pipe thatn
run an hour, or do you make a
cigarette ever two minutes?
Are you married?
Does your wife phone you often ?
Does your wife entertain, or wear
suede pumps while workin'?
Do you take ice?
How many lodges do you help t
keep goin'?
Does your wife sew?
How many children o. school an
college age?
Has your wife fur coat?
How many miles Z tn gallon 90
you git, if any?
How are your tires?
VIII your family eat brisket, or
does it demand sweetbreads an sir
loin steak?
Do you wear silk shirts?
Do you pay taxes or live in apart
mentS2
How docs your light bill run?
Have you a disposition Z do so
much an no more?
We do not see how employers kin
arrive at "A Twin wage any other
way than by havin' an intimate
knowledge o. each employee. his
style O. pitchin,' his aspirations, his
wife's needs an tn condition OF his
car
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1922-12-31
White Bemoans Lack of
Kansas Industrial LaU
Breaker for Test Case

KANSAS CITY. Kan. Dec. So
wanted-One hrst-class vlolator of
Kansas industrial court law.
Such IS the plalntive wall going
up from one William Allen White.
OF Emporia. Kas.. and second addle
in the Henry and Ne" case. Gov.
Henry J. Alien. OF Kansas. played
first violin in the case. which blew
up at Emporia recently when the
county attorney. acting on orders Of
Atty.Gen. Richard Hopkins. who in
turn received his instructions from
Gov. Allen. had the case against
White dismissed.
Now the industrial court law con-
tinues flying from the masthead
with none 10 say may" while VIII
liam Allen White, discounted and
shorn OF his avowed purpose to test
its legality through all the high
courts Of the land in order TO find
out whether or not free speech" is
a dead issue in the Jayhawker state.
walks the stage of Kansas politics
as melancholy as the Dane OF
Shakespeare creation.
Battle Invited.
While White defed the pet law
of his old-time friend, Gov. Allen,
during the rail strike last summer
and posted prominently in the win
dows Of his newspaper placards ex-
pressing varying degrees Of sym
pathy for the striking shopmen and
was duly arrested. the stage was all
set for a titanic court battle to test
the validity Of the industrial court
law.
Freedom of speech and other con-
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1922-12-31
SHIPPING CHIEF GLAD
TO SEE OLD YEAR CO
BY =. \. ;. FRANKLIN,
President the International Mer-
camille Marine Co.
Cyrtten FOR /. y 81

NEW YORK. Dec. 3O.-In the
shipping business we can an say
good-by 10 1922 without regret II
i'm recent times For the last year
cargoes have been light and rates
low and uncertain Although re-
Gently there have been surface in-
dicatlous of Improvement i'm the
freight situation. due To- po>si bly, "a
little more traffic moving general
~. there is really no Improvement,
as the freight is being carried at
rates which are too low 10 be
profitable. due TO a supply OF ton
mage far in excess of the demand
tor srace.
Passenger traffic has been below
that in 1921. principally because
Of the restraints placed on immi-
grafton. Transatlantic passenger
rates recently have been lowered.
which should stimulate travel TO
Europe by Americans next spring
and SUMMER. particularly on the
lower priced ships.
The shipping business can inn
prove only as business on DtiA
sides Of the Atlantic improves. We
cannot expect normal conditions
until affairs in Europe become
more settled. people set back 10
productive work and money as a
consequence rogains its exchange
value
We may find it profitable as a
business nation to extend our help
TO Europe to accelerate her return
10 prosperity 1t is good business
in hard times to help your best
customers. That is what we should
do for the European countries If we
want them to resume buying our
PRODUCTS on a normal scale In this
way exports and imports viii in
crease. and business viii be better
for everybody.
In the United States we are on
the up grade, but the country is
feeling the pinch Of a shortage of
day labor, and we believe some
thing Will be done TO remedy that
situation.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1922-12-31
Little Eustace Selects
His Holiday Gifts
By James ]. Montague

The head OF the toy department
was smiling. actually smiling. al
though it was the Saturday night be-
bore Christmas.
Anyway. Jake.p ne said TO the
man at the lunch counter as he
poured the graduated sugar into his
coffee. Christmas is not always an
unmixed blessing. Little Eustace
has taught ne the lesson OF happi-
ness"
'So?" said Jake. making two
syllables Of the word.
SO is right" said the head OF the
toy department To-day I know that
even the toy business has compen-
sations. And all because OF a little
child
"Eustace came IN this afternoon
with his mamma. She passed up all
the clerks and asked for me- I
must see the principal salesperson.
she said. for he will understand and
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1922-12-31

stituuonal safeguards We're 20 be
5udicially indicated in Kansas-or
dragged in the dust
When the smoke Of battle cleared
away not only had no law been
tested but not even a trial had been
held Today free speech in Kansas
is exactly what II has always been
whatever that is.
VioIator Sought
Hence the anxiety Of the oppo-
nents OF the industrial court Jaw TO
have somebody violate Il again in
order that the test may be made.
Governor-elect Jonathan NJ. Davis,
self-styIed dirt farmer and Demo-
crat. says ii is unnecessary. Davis
says when ne gets through with the
industrial court law 81 VIII no longer
be an issue Which is only another
way Of saying that he intends TO
have Il repealed by the forthcoming
Kansas legislature which meets in
January. Advocates Of the law
want to know how he Is going TO do
il with a legislature OF an opposite
political faith. which-the mi.len-
mum not having arrived-s eX-
pected 10 oppose anything the Dem
ocratic governor advocates, the day
not being so long past when, ac-
cording to tradition. Democrats in
Kansas We're hunted with hounds.
Battle at Capitol.
At any rate Kansas is I'm q fer
ment and the industrial court law is
the ferment. The battle over the
law will be fought. but In the state
capitol at Topeka instead of in the
courtroom at Emporia.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1922-12-31

sympathize with little Eustace. and
VIII help him 10 help himself
4 was busy. 1 always am. But
l couldn't refuse TO see a customer
especially one who came il a
limousine, and behind whom
chauffeur and a maid followed along
TO carry away the purchases She
took chair when she came into my
office. and little Eustace climbed Up
on my desk and began tentatively
kicking me in the shins I moved
back out OF range and inqui d what
I could do.
You see said Eustace's mana.
my child has been taught that this
Santa Claus myth is mere g
norant foolishness. I have made
the little fellow understand that il Is
his father and l who bestow gifts
upon him at this season. and that
We do il because OF the immeasur-
able depths Of parental love. And
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1922-12-31

because we have confded ln hts In
telligence. though he is only a little
more than four we leave the Sc
lection OF his gifts 20 him.
What we want TO do is 90 allow
the child TO express himself. TO per-
nit him, in this great store. 10
choose what interests him most.
knowing that his own unfolding In
teliect is the safest guide And so
am goins 20 ask you 70 let the
child roam about your store. Uu-
troubled by tho salespeople. and
take what he best desires from the
shelves and counters. Ny maid and
chauffeur Will accompany HIM. at
such distance as not 10 annoy him
while his mind is busy with his
problems. and take to the car such
objects as he may select. IL you
have any doubts as TO my fnan-
cial-'
Eustace Cuts Loose.
Not in the least. madam I as
sured her. But II the child should
perhaps break or destroy any
Have no fears on that score.
sir said the lady. a little tartly; I
myself have reared Eustace'
so little Eustace was allowed the
freedom Of the store. and 1 went
back 10 work. Presently one Of the
girls came in.
Say she said There's q kid out
here who's took a toboggan out o.
the sports and is yellin bloody muir
der because 1 won't let him slide
down the escaiator in 1t. shah
have him thrown Out?'
Il went outside. but too late.
Little Eustace had relnquished the
tObogEan when the sales girl seized
him by the collar but only tenn
porarily. The instant she left him
10 come 20 me he dragged it back 10
the escalator and was just about to
make the plunge HIS mother was
proudly watching him
I don't think he can hurt him
self she said. There is quite a
crowd at the foot Of the incline.
Some of them viii break his fall
1t took me ID minutes 10 per
suade her that my authority was
limited TO my floor. and that I had
no right to loose infantile projectiles
on the people below Reluctantly
she helped me 10 part little Eustace
from the toboggan.
Another 10 minutes passed and
I heard a shrek outside 1t came
from cash girl who had been hit
in the ankle by a boy golf driver
little EustaCe had been swinging,
After that 1 didn't go back to work
"Eustace was no sooner separated
from one toy than he seized another.
usually dragging all sorts of objects
from the tables as he did SO
"Once he pursued, clear TO the
elevator, a smaller child who was
carrying an electric engine his uncle
had bought for him. and wrestling it
away ran, bowling in gIee back to
the track where other engines were
running about under their own
power.
Before anybody could stop them
he had thrown these engines one by
one 20 the floor. and put his own on
the track Then he walled in fury:
Mine won't go"
somehow we got him away from
the track but he burst into the
sporting goods counter as soon as he
had wriggled free. and kicked vic
iously at a football, sending it hurt
ling into the stomach of a fat elder
" gentleman who was watching a
child fitted to a pair Of skates
Others Indulge If-EXprcssiOn.
The gentleman was for reporting
20 the head Office or calling the po-
lice then and there, but 1 dissuaded
him.
Little Eustace IN the meantime
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1922-12-31
INTO TIE UNKNORN

Today closes a most eventfui year and tomorrow
rnanIslnd starts uron its new Journey through the
year 1923.
soothsayers and astroIogers. fnanelers and bank
ers statesmen and diplomats attempt to forecast the
events OF the coming year. either terms OF optlrn
disaster.
The salu.ation Of Happy New Year" combina-
taon OF prayer and hope falls lightly from every
lip more an evidence OF the f1endliness or man to
than OF either hope or prayer.
Those who spend their hours studying the courses
OF the planets and stars write thee rrophe-
ces and try 20 reduce life to fixed and static terms
They would have YOU believe that Ife all life. from
the destiny Of a nation to the winning Of a baseball
pennant or a pinoch1e championship is fixed by the
position OF the birth Of those who aspire TO
such honors
The hnancier who weaves his dream Of the next
year his opinion upon crops foreign exchange
the labor marts the world
These forecasts are fascinating. only they go TO
show tina. life is not fixed and that the coming Of
year means only the coming OF opportunity,
to be grasrcd or avoided. to be used as means TO
climb dizzy heights or to be neglected and Stunned
b. those who Will remain in nedoerity
It may be interesting to check up on yourself for
the past twelve months and then ask yourself
what YOU wish for yourself during the coming year
Luck viii have little to do with It, The man who
forms a new fixed purpose, who knows in his own
mind what he and the goal for which he
strives. VIII be the fortunate man in the coming
year in any year.
No haphazard dream OF wealth without a real
yearning for wealth and all that it means viii make
n man rich The gambler has that hoping and
trusting to fortutous chance to bring him the
things he wishes
The idler and the waster lolng away the hours
IN hazy hope will end the year as they began it.
has
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1922-12-31
OtherE Editors Than Ours
WOLVES.
(DenVer Express. }

(Denver Express
great pack OF hungry timber wolves kills and
devours q white and two Indians i'm Ontario
CITY people. and comfortable. read about il
and IL seems unreal, a page from the past Yet il
IS not many generations since nearly every one in
the northern states and Canada had 20 be on guard
against wolves and similar perils.
Life IA getting soft We have conquered our nat
ural enemies except germs This leaves us more
time for stealing from and killing each other Co
operation is difficult when common periLs vanish.
Night be a good thing 20 turn loose a Jew million
wolves on US
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1922-12-31
COAL And RAILWAY
STRIKES MARK U. S.
DURING PAST YEAR
Thousands Are Now Suffering
From Lack of Fuel; No
Relief in Sight.

NEW YORK. Dee. o0-lBy T.. p
The outstauGlns purely domestic
features OF 1872 iu .bis country were
the coal and rail- str.Ses or these
the coal strike was the most la-
portant. as it wac and So acuteIy fe.t
by practically the whclc country.
Thousands or people are now suf-
ferr- from the lack ur fuel. aua.
according 90 authorizes no immedl-
ate relief is sn s5ght. The ril strike
with the consequent weakening Cf
transportation facilities is iu part
responsible for the present coal con
d5rion.
After numerous NEGOTIATIONS had
faIcd tho miners suspended cper.-
t.ors ON April T. They demanded
a raise in WAGES and the operators
threatened a cut The strike aGcc-.
ed 100 600 miners. 269 col.icr.Cs ana
- companies Many casualties re
suited from battles between the
miners and bands or strike breakers
the greatest tragedy being the Her
rim massacre. ira which 20 men iost
tacir llves.
The miners and the operas
reached an agreement ia PhIaael
nha ou Sept e. which was s.Ened
i'm Scranton ou Sept oDerouors
were resumed on sept II. Tie
agreement is 30 hold for one year.
Although their demands We're not
granted. the miners claim a victory
because their vases were not cut
The rail strike began on July ].
when nearly all OF the 400. 600 union
rail shormen walked out. TrooEs
were called out i'm various parts ~
the country 10 lucll disorders ara
travel was completely tied up in
many sections.
one OF the features OF the cary
pare OF the strike was the marocntGg
of u trausconuuental trains with
$500 passengers in the Arizona
desert. Several pitched battles were
fought and dozens of bridges burned.
The year was also marked by many
disasters. Tn major wrecks and ar
crashes. 155 people were killed. IN
mine accidents. storms ana foods POI
more lost their lives
The Argonaut mine disaster ln
which a. men died on August p was
one Of the most sensational. sixty
died in one hurricane fin New York
on June II, and SO in the Texas
floods on April %.
The principle deaths were: Maj
Gen. James William McAndrew. on
May /. at the age Of GO; Henry J..
Dawson, banker and phiIanthrOpist,
on May 6 William Rockefeller. cap
italist June "a at 81 years. Lieut..
Belvin ". Maynard, the Flying
Parson," on sept. z; John Wana-
maker. merchant prince. on Dec. u.
Tractor drawn and with rotary
blades revolved by a gasoline en-
CINE. a machine has been invented
to shave ice on lakes smooth for
skating.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1922-12-31
Just a Few Reservations Left!

Reservations and Admission will be by Card and
Ticket Only! Our reservations far exceed those
fone year ago, twill be necessary to make your
reservations early, by applying in person!
Valuable Favors and Souvenirs will be given
each guest. The Oliver assures a good time
plenty of fun, plenty of entertainment, plenty of
Music and Dancing.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1922-12-31

Garment repairing-B. 2. Clean
ers. Advt.1.-tf
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1922-12-31

Tractor drawn and with rotary
blades revolved by a gasoline en-
CINE. a machine has been invented
to shave ice on lakes smooth for
skating.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1922-05-10
Operations East
Edge Fox Field

c. r. Smith is preparing TO put his
No. fee on the pump. located in the
center OF the southwest Of the north
west of the southwest quarter OF section
&c, 2s.3w, on the east edge OF the Fox
field. Sand in this well was drilled
through at 2230.5O feet. with the total
depth OF the hole at 2270 feet. The
hole is standing full of oil and 1t Is
estimated will make q 1O0.barrel
pumper.
Same operator is rigging up No. !
on the same lease in the center of the
southwest OF the southwest Of the south
west quarter OF section &c, 3s.3w.
Same operators No. on the same
lease In the center of the northwest OF
the northwest OF the southwest quar-
ter OF section &c. 2s.3w, is cemented on
top Of the sand at 2l6S feet.