The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1922-01-26
SECTION
HE ISN'T CoNSDERATE
By BEATRICE FAIRFAX.

By BEATRICE TARTAN. Who Occupies Unique Position in l the Writing World as an Author 1 ity on the Problems of Girls.
 ''What would you do about a man ] loving that it's hard to think of life ] without him, but who never does one | conSiderate and completely unse1fiSh | thing for you?" writes Mabel. Now, to make myself clear, let 1 me tell you one incident. The other night I was invited to @ dinner in one 1 of the suburbs. I telephoned my dance and asked him to go with me, 1 as my hostess had asked me to bring my own escort. But he said ought to know by this time that formal dinners bored him. couldn't get him to go. He didn't think Of the affront to my friend or me. It didn't even occur to him to offer to meet me at the train on my return. This is the sort of thing I meet with all the time.
 "Yet when 1t comes to showing me attention of his own choosing he is lovely about 1t. He is generous with money. and devotion itself if let him carry out his own ideas and don't annoy him by developing any of my own. Do you think this means unhappiness after we marry? For if he wont adapt hirnself to my friends, my desires. my personality-what is there for me to do but become shadow of him, and this I don't want to be.
 Do you think I'm making up trouble for myself or. making & fuss about nothing. This seems most inn portant to me, but maybe you can laugh 1t away"
 No, cant laugh lack of consid- eration away
 We live in a world where certain social requirements are made upon all of us. We don't need to be so- ciety people, but we do need to have friends and to form part of a social group And this requires certain ad- adjustments. Often we do not want to make them. but the price of friendship is consideration and cour- tesy.
 Consideration and courtesy are part and parcel of love.
 Of course there is always this ex- cuse for a man who doesn't do the right thing socially Society is ad- mintstered by women and is more important to them than to men. Men are so used to being excused for their ittle lapses from boyhood to man. hood and so accustomed to being pet ted by women that they get into the way of thinking that they are a law unto themselves.
 Little things don't matter to men as to women. But a great deal of peace and happiness is dependent on little things.
 Men may have formal occasions when those occasions are purely so- cial- But they go to banquets and dinners when tfleDe is a business req son for so doing. So it is only fair that a man should be logical and consistent about the interests of his sweetheart
 Of course there are plenty of wo- men who insist on putting their so- cial engagem ents ahead of the vital business interests of men. No wo- man can expect a hard-working man to neglect something in connection l with his work in order to take her to dance on which her heart is set and which will do nothing for either beyond costing many hours of valuable sleep. look at the values of situations fairly and sqpare1y.
 A mans lack of consid eration may be due to his lack of perspec- tive. It may come from his lack of training
 The thing dor a girl to do who loves a man and is unhappy over his unwi1ingness to meet her anything like half way in the matters which count with her is to sit down and talk the thing over without rancor or emotion More and more the re- lation between husband and wife is | coming to be fifty-fhty one of mu- fual allowances and mutual conces- l sions. And the farsighted woman i will try to educate her man to 8 l sense of equity.