Evening star., 1922-01-22
BY JAMES MARTIN MILLER.

Don't be SO long, central" was heard
"Who wants Uncle Sam?" demanded
the War Department central
Henry Ford" came the answer.
"Oh, Henry Ford; right away, Mr..
Ford; glad to serve you,' said CEN
trail.
Henry Ford speaking. That you
Uncle Sam" :,
"Yes, Henry, it is I. but you had
better take the first train for Wash
ington for we can't talk about that
Muscles Shoals proposition over the
'phone very we'll, besides think I'm
ready to say something to you about
your Offer" said Uncle Sam.
And Mr.. Ford responded to Uncle
Sans call by appearing in Washing
ton few days ago.
Secretary of War Weeks became /
master of ceremonies in receiving
Mr.. Ford. After handshake between
Uncle Sam and Mr., Ford both sat
down as if they were tackling the
Muscle Shoals business at once, just
like hard-headed business men. But
Ford digressed a little with a look
of quaint humor in his eye. by say
ing:
Uncle Sam, I want to tell you
little story, or rather 1t is conum-
drum" with your kind permission.
when a bachelor marries widow
named Elizabeth with two children
what has he got?"
Give it up" said Uncle Sam, smll-
ing.
why" said Henry. che got a Lizzie
and two runabouts."
Uncle Sam laughed and said:
Il see, Henry, that you measure
everything in the terms of the Tin
Lizzie
YES" said Ford, that may be, and
I'm down here to help you out of the
awful financial hole you are In at
Muscle Shoals. You put millions
upon millions Of dollars into the
Muscle Shoals proposition. You part
ly built the Wilson dam across1the
Tennessee river, in northern Ala-
bama, almost at the southern bound
ary of Tennessee. You also covered
$500 acres of ground with partly
constructed buildings of hydro-elec-
trio plant and two enormous nitrate
plants, plants No l and No. 2. 1t Is
a useless pile of junk in the present
state, This enormous pile is going to
waste fast, Uncle Sam, and besides
it is costing you $5oo.ooo year to
watch the idle pile and take care OF
IL the best you can"
"Yes, what you say is too true and
sometimes I feel that 1 will break
down with nervous prostration think
ing Of the Investments I have made
during the past six years. But that
is what war drove us into. These
proposed great power and nitrate
plants were much needed had the
war continued" said Uncle Sam.
acoME people. Henry, you Know
y say that I am an impresslonaole
old man, easily Influenced and led into
making bad investments. They say
these things after the war Is over
but these same people before the war
shouted preparedness from the mousse
tops, you remember. And SO pre-
pared. My Muscle Shoals is simply
another example of the waste of war.
Some people say 1 get into very bad
company when I associate with the
democrats and listen to what they
say and advise. Then some others
tell me that the republicans are lot
OF rascals and will get me in bad II
I aasociate with them. So, Henry. to
tell you the truth, don't know what
to do sometimes. I confess that
get badly mixed. I have both of these
parties to deal with and in addition
to them the socialist party, the pro-
hibition party, and now 1 have the
women's party on my hands. They
are all after me all the time, telling
me what to do and what not to do.
Even your Uncle Sam had a
mother, Henry, so I am obliged to
listen nowadays to the ladies. I'll
admit they sort O. make me dizzy
sometimes. But 1 have to listen.
simply sit mute and take my medi-
cine"
But, Uncle Sam, you have lot OF
rich relations who will get you out
Of this wasteful Muscle Shoals in
vestment They will stand by you to
the finish and enable you to save
face as the Chinaman puts it," said
Henry Ford.
"Oh, some of my rich relations are
kind, but really I think I can place
more dependence in my poor rela-
tions; they have stood by me through
thick and thin. These poor relations
of mine are the salt of the earth.
1t is true that some of them become
q little unreasonable at times and
get absurd notions into their heads
and are apt to credit silly rumors
that pass from mouth to mouth and
sound like and is parrot talk. 1 wish
my rich relations and my poor rela-
tions would get together and have a
better understanding of each other.
But I've seen encouraging indica-
tions lately that they are under
standing each other better, Henry.
''Now. think they are going to
stand by me in the Muscle Shoals en-
terprises. I am convinced that we
can make Of that power plant, to-
gether with the nitrate plant, one Of
tho most productive institutions.
MY nitrate plants at Muscle Shoals.
including the hydro-electric plant, has
cost me up to June 80, $780, con-
tInued Uncle Sam. the sum Of $751;
951,977. The Wilson dam, or dam
No. 2, has cost me the round sum of
S17 00n onf This Wilson dam IA aho.1t