Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1922-08-09
DID HER BEST

Don't be silly, Jane; tell me what it
is" asked the other.
"0h, ma-am, the cucumber was
crooked and seeing you had company,
l tried to bend il straight"
SAFE
A motorist was driving
Across the railroad track!
The train. upon arriving
Was ready for attack
The old accelerator
Was winning out alright
He got across but later,
He nearly died of fright.
SUITING THE WORD. YOU KNOW
Your lips are just like rose petals.
But really, Hubert | must say
goodnight now"
We'll, let's say it with flowers"
\ n
After seeing American girls legs
Paris has put on long skirst,
X y X X
Charley Clark says about the only
thing up to date and modern on some
automobiles is the license plate.
wtouED HELP
Il get along pretty well at golf"
said Paw Nuritch. "The caddie hands
me the proper club"
"Well?"
Il wish the butler would deal out
the forks at diner the same way"
n X v y
Styles in vamps may refer to either
shoes or young ladies-both of which
have pinched many a man.
-
Old Party: Il am eighty, young
man, and don't remember ever hav-
ing told a lie"
Young Man; "Well you can't ex-
pect your memory to be very reliable
at that age"
4 X y
The rising generation isn't always
the first up in the morning.
THAT'S Different
They told him that the poor girl
had lost all her friends.
He was unmoved
They added she had lost allher jew
lis.
He did not care.
They said she had lost all her mon
ey.
He only shrugged
They mentioned she had lost all her
clothes.
He asked for her address.
X X r.
A La Crosse Italian who kept a fruit
stand was much annoyed by possible
customers who made practice of
handling the fruit and pinching it,
thereby leaving it softened and often
spoiled. Exasperated beyond endur-
ance he finally pat up a sign which
read: IF you must pincha d1 fruit,
pineha da cocoanEt."
1t Can't Be Did
| want the lights that brightly shine.
i want the men, want the wine
! want the fun without the price.
want to be naughty and yet be nice.
| want the thrill of a long, close kiss,
And everything that good girls miss.
want the arms and heart of man.
And yet--live single if l can.
Please give me some good advise.
How can Ibe naughty-and yet be nice
x X n X
Mary Has the Flu
Mary had little skirt,
1t barely reached her knees;
She also had little waist
w HiNH ltiL LtI DdNk 10 1TtELe.
She sauntered out one chilly day
To show her pretty clothes;
But, sad to say, when she came in,
She had it up her nose.
And now poor Mary's sick in bed,
She don't know what to do;
Her clothes viii all go out of style
While Mary has the FLU"
~
Why is a Man Like a Sausage?
Man is somewhat like a sausage
Very smooth upon the skin,
But you cannot tell exactly
How much dog" there is within.
She: 81 won't marry a man who
can't look me in the face.
He: "Then wear them longer"
Pete: A woman is as old as she
looks"
Burt: "A man is never old until he
quits looking"
EDUCATION
He: "a kiss speaks volumes"
She: Are you collecting libra
ry?"
1922 STUFF
The way to mans heart is through
your cellar.
PHEW,
On his visit to the home of a color
pred family, the census taker noticed
that one of the youngsters was rather
peevish.
"The child seems a little spoiled,
he remarked.
mo, it amt that" responded the
fond mother. That's the way all
niger babies smell"
Needed a Real Bath
The colored Baptist evangelist was
his congregation to come up
10 the rostrCm and have their sins
washed away, and slowy all but one Of
them moved toward him.
"Why, Brudder jones'" said the E.
vangelist, "dop't 20 want 20 sins
washed away"
II done had my Sins washed away"
Where yo' done dat?p
"Ober at tn emethodist church"
"Ah Brudder Jones, yo' amt been
washed. Yo' been jes' dry cleaned"