davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1922-05-28

Artistss on a carnival night. She
was the frogs eyebrows when she
started ont, but she went out Of
style"-
In more ways than one" says
Elias Q. Higginbothsm. mot only
as to her clothes"
well, 1t amt the old girls fault
that she is chasing with the Grape.
hangers" says Quincy. She amt
enjoying 1t any more than we are.
The trouble is she has been kid
mapped by the weeping willows.
But we never did give her a square
deal as to clothes. For thirty years
she has not been any closer TO the
Fifth avenue fashions than Aunt
Jemima. She probably thinks the
girls are still wearing tull-length
wooden lingerie. or whatever they
are. She don't know bustles have
gone out OF style. because she
don't know they ever we're IN.
which, as | said before, It Is q
great mistake to tog any statue
out In q lot of clothes. A guy may
be a regular House Of Ginsburg sd
to-day and q back-number to-mor-
row. How long would the guy in
the collar ad hold his reputation II
they didn't give him q new collar
every weak?
Beau Brummel was a very wise
cracker IN his day regarding dress,
but he would not get a tumble on
the avenue to-day from anybody
except some cop would try to send
him to Bellevue for observation.
Take . sQuint ut the pictures OF
the dudes OF twenty years ago. II
you see one OF them In the movies
to-day you will say the movies Is
q Har and there never was any
such animal.
at Is the same with statues, and
It don't seem q fair shake to take
advantage Of a guy after he has
gone On and can't defend himself.
There Is a statue Of Daniel
Webster uptown, which is the sad.
dest looking guy have took
sQuint at in a long time. He was
quite a bird at one time, too. But
they have got q pair of pants onto
him which is so baggy and loose
they look like they are about to
drop of, and II amt right to make
any guy stand there forever In a
state Of nervous apprehension like
that. They ought TO turn the
tailors loose on Dan sncs a year
and press him up some and give
him q good strong pair of suspend.
ers which would give not only him
but the public more confidence.
1T amt right to leave cur ma
tional heroes In such a condition.
o. them padessais thai syeEy caks-
The Washington times., 1922-05-28
b Story with an
Impossible Ending

WING to the rather cave-man
like caresses Of Gentle
Spring. Mr.. Dubb had sue
eeeded in stalking himself to quite
. cold in the head. which showed
signs OF getting chummy and en-
bracing his whole system. The
seslous little microbes we're hold.
ing marsthons up and down his
spinal column. and some OF them
had started q hammer-throwing Z
contest in his head. While his az.
Fiction was at its zenith he aoct
dentally ran into Mr.. Cursitt
Morning" said Mr.. oureitt,
bad cold you got there, Dubb, old
boy"
"Mordin', yed ID is," affirmed
Mr.. Dubb.
Seeing that his motion had been
made unanimous, Old Cureitt fol
lowed up his parliamentary victory
Selentlessly.
bad weather for colds" said he
Had one myself two weeks ago
But I've got no advice to offer
Don't know any sure cure, sss
your doctor right away
The Washington times., 1922-05-28
Quincy Todd on Statues

eater that goes by can give them
the snort OF approval. They give
Uncle Hod Greeley . bum haircut
and trim his whiskers like . Har-
lem goat and expect him to set
there IN that big chair for nine
hundred years and look happy.
with pants onto him like . divided
skirt and a coat that fts no tighter
than the Volstead act fits . New
York saloon.
THE whole idear Of statues is
the bunk. There they have got
Nathan Hale standing with his
hands tied behind him. What
chance has a guy got In this town
with his hands tied!
THE habit OF erecting statues
10 a very dangerous pastims. Any.
how, they always erect statues to
fellers that are SO we'll known that
they don't need the statues. What's
the use Of q statue for . feller
when they are going TO remember
him anyhow? The feller that q
statue would do him some good
never gets one.
"It is dangerous to erect . big
statue OF any feller that 10 dead,
for the historians are liable TO dig
up something on him even after he
The Washington times., 1922-05-28

has been . long time gone, and to
erect . statue for any feller that II
stu alive, 10 fatal. II is worse
than naming . steamboat after
him. because you can change the
name OF a steamboat 30 sound like
somebody else. but you cannot
change the features OF one guy so
that 1t will look enough like any
other guy 70 please his relatives.
Il have seen . hundred and
forty-seven statues OF Benjamin
Franklin. and those that didn't look
like Lloyd George looked more like
Lief Ericsson or Mr.. Pickwick.
Every sculptor sculps q statue the
way he thinks the feller looked,
and there never was . time in the
history Of this world when two
sculptors or two artists thought
alike. don't know how many
Aleck Hamiltons there was back
In them times. but | have seen at
least forty of them. Maybe there
have been some new ones sprung
up since l looked.
"As l said, It 10 fatal to erect =
statue to any guy when he is yet
alive. for he 10 sure to spill the
beans. Back In my old homo town
We have q very public spirited citi.
The Washington times., 1922-05-28
By Roy K. Moulton

zen by name OF Blinkey Adams. be-
ing as he blinks some In one eye
and he has been mayor and every
thing else. The people could not
think what else to do with him, SO
they passed the hat to build
statue Of him for the public park.
Blinkey Adams himself gives the
first thousand berries toward this
enterprise, which is fair enough.
He Is a guy who let's his hair grow
wild and wears on his chin one OF
them things like an Imperial
whisker, which is commonly known
as a soup duster.
He 10 very proud OF this feather
duster on his chin owing to the
fact that he has no chin whatso.
ever. Well, after they get this
statue OF this bird all set up and
sculped by an expert sculptor II
looks a good deal like Blinkey
Adams and a good deal like Mr..
Beeman. Of the pepsin gum. and
here and there It has certain as
poets Of the less luxuriant Of the
cough drop brothers.
But after this statue is up for
q year or two what does this
Bhnkey Adams do but haul of and
make a monkey OF US by running
OF with the village milliner and ts
never heard of again either by his
wife or her husband.
"The folks didn't like to haul tho
statue down, as that would be .
waste OF good money, SO the sculp-
tor came on from New York and.
after looking the patient over, he
says he can FIX It all right, even
with the blink. SO he takes his
chisel and he gives Blinkey Adams
a slight haircut and parts it differ
ent, then he shaves of the chin.
whisken and he puts a new sign
onto II marked, "Our Hero, Gen.
Benjamin F. Butler" and no
stranger in the town knows the
difference and General Butler gets
a statue that he never expected to
have, and It looks suite a lot like
General Butler, toej that is to say,
it don't look any mere unlike him
than II locks unlike Miles Stand.
ish. which there is quite a lot of
skullduggery about the statuary
business at that"
We'll" says Elias @. Higgin.
botham, its a shame to have this
guy stand in front Of the City Hall
like that, anyhow. II must be EN-.
barrassing. l think he is at least
entitled to ens-piece bathing
suit"
What do you wsnt b do. get
him pinched?" says Quincy. "one'
piece bathing suits u imnasdesi
and agin' the law"
The Washington times., 1922-05-28
The Eagle Squawks---By Bins.
. ONT seem as II a tariff on eggs is necessal
strong enough to protect themselves.

ONT II tariff OF en-
| J strong enough to protect themselves.
the dye schedule through and
ronde will the
Trouble with political platforms
plsnks full Of slvers till they o
Gotta give old Samuel credtf
found make his tJncle!"
Should think Columbia be
with all the burglars surrounding
might not be bad Of Liberty
sight until have further
About the only make
makes continue through
Looks like in the killing
kindness.
We tell England English
sl nsysd suL
The Washington times., 1922-05-28
Cogitations of a Cuckoo

Cogitations of a Cuckoo
HREE Of
maksrs-ths young. old and middisased fellows
DatAOliy of expenditure
HEARD AT SEA GATE
Pupn-Jimmy diving night
Teacher-Did he strike the bottom?
Pupn-No please the
Travelling
State didn't
said they had all the kinds they needed
yards Turkish toweing by mistake IL
ttDe the other day. and still Prohibition prohb
STREET.
Little strips o. maren
Little o. stock. ,
Make the fretted
Put his n
Cod found
old fisherman they good stuffed that
Why they make building nev
Hudson Rive
YOrkO butcher the tim.
lady stopped playing bridge says she
rubbertred
Nobody . poet s he IS dead.
ROCKING THE BOAT
A almost distracted younu Or.
Took his henpeeking wife Ar.
n a
Got her back without
30 he went out canoeing and Rr
Wen have romantic wives with
tell their merely flight of fancy.
humoist mob. But
who's going to guarantee that you'll the back!
Some natural others &
IRISH.
A napper who lived n
Once sad 81 all
But my hearts fondest Joy
10 OF a
Young Patrick o'Houhan Henn."
Lady prohibition
time she'd know that prohibition begun here yet
Life of and more
than
But Of those stn explosions mak awful racket
Prominent need really
need
The Washington times., 1922-05-28

1T SEE" says Elias Q. Higgin-
botham. that they have
went and put a statue up
In front OF the City Hall OF some
guy which has not got enough
clothes onto him to please some Of
our swell dressers. In fact, he
amt got very much more onto him
than some OF the flappers that
stand and stare at him, and he A
very shy Of clothing. indeed"
Which is the way any statue
should ort to be-" says Quincy
Todd. so long as a statue amt
got no clothes onto him he amt
never going to be out OF style. 1t
Is . great mistake to go and tog
a statue out in q lot of jimcrac acks
that won't be In style more than
six months, and he has got to
stand there for six hundred years
wearing q lot Of ancient scenery
that makes a monkey out Of him
and all his relatives. Look. for
instance. at the Goddess Of Lib
erty that stands out there all alone
in New York's front yard"-
60 ahead and look at her II you
want to-" says Elias Q. Higgin-
botham. She don't mean a heck
Of q lot In my young life, believe
me-"
What are you kickin' abouti"
asks Quincy. You can get all you
want IN the drug store. But as
was saying this here poor old dame
stands out there in the front yard
ever since | am q small child and
she IL wearing the same nightgown
effect that they put onto her then.
and everybody knows how II gals
any woman to be six minutes be.
hind the style. let alone bein' six
decades behind It. All she has
gotta do is to stand there and wait
until that gown comes back into
style again. which Il will be Just
her luck II It never does.
THAT is her street gown. her 60
ing-avay gown, her dinner gown,
her ball gown and her sport suit.
When all the girls have been going
around with skirts up to their
knees, she has had to stand there
with hers draggin' on the ground,
And nobuddy knows IL her stock
ings is all silk or have got Isle
tops. Does she evar have any
decollete in cold weather, and does
she have any warm furs to wear
on the hot Summer days like the
rest Of the girlsf Not on yeur hfs.
She is an Ophelia in an orchard OF
fashion. A Happsr without any
Dap.
She ts about as much In style
as a guy who wears an outing fan.
~ pightga~s 70 the Csts dss
- - % --rs.-
The Washington times., 1922-05-28
Putting a Nick
in Nicotine

are jake to the situation
Tobacco Is now the curse OF
the world. succeeding the late Ia.
mented J. Barieycorn. So long as
the world does not run out OF
eurses the reformers will get their
salaries and that, OF course. is the
big idea Of the whole crape-h hang.
ing and weeping-willow profession.
Down with tobacco. 1t 10 the
ruination Of the race. Look how
It stunts the intellect. Look at the
shameless gamblers who save
cigar and cigarette coupons.
What q marvellous and heroic
record our soldiers In France
would have made. All, but the
pity OF 1t! Most Of them smoked
cigarettes. Otherwise they might
have been victorious.
Did you ever stop to think that
Grant might have won the Civil
War and preserved tho Union II he
had not been an tnyetersts smok or
Of cigars?
Mark Twstni All, what . bril-
nant mind to be stuntsd by nieo-
tsns' What an author he might
have become II he had let the weed
aionei his name might have been
known the country over.
P>tsr etuyvesant might have
bean one of the ahlest governors
shs esr1y New Amsterdam had,
hut hs snehsd . Pipe. What u
slys
Unoas Jss csnnoa. naturally .
hEAsht maA might have remained
- Congress and done brilliant
thAss tor forty yeAn. but he fell
estcrs ths tnsadioos samp<ation Of
tsAaooa.
1daaoa might hsvs hsooms .
O.st tuysUtor Il hs had not
Unnned He might have done
somsthtak really worth whils m
stsad Of tnsnfng out The few little
3psataons he has accomplished.
Z p. Morgan might have become
- great nnanater and perhaps
1ateht even have aSolmuiated =
Satusbis art coilecttoa II h had
tHot enjoyed his casak
- think Of poor Sarah Bern
Aszdti All. there Is . case to con
3urs wfthi Naturally she had the
makinss Of = brilliant actress, but
sho smoked cigarettes, and her
failure Is one Of the regrets Of the
civilized world.
When he was . young lawyer,
Lloyd George was looked upon ss
having q bright future in diplo-
macy. but he contracted the Cigar
habit which is fatal TO any ambi-
tious endeavor and, look at him to-
day-in total eclipse and oblivion,
his name rarely mentioned. A
good life gone wrong through
tobacco.
Mary Garden, Marie Jeritza.
Ethel Barrymore, CALI Curci. Nine.
Lucille, Margot AsQuith, Mrs. Pat
Campbell-ah, what those women
could have done II they didn't
smoke an occasional cigarette.
James NJ. Barrie had quite a
start as an author, but do you
know the secret OF his monumental
failure? He smoked-and he still
refuses to see the error of his
ways. He still smokes.
To see what tobacco has done II
ID only necessary to hook at such
failures as p. Phillips Oppenheim,
Premier Poincare, Charles NJ.
6chwab, Gatti-Cazazza, General
Pershing. President Obrsson, @.
Bernard Shaw and other we'll
known unfortunates.
Down with tobacco. After that.
Gown with chewing gum, but we
win 20 into that evil later when
Ne need another Job.
Norwich bulletin., 1922-10-26
BOND MARKET.

New York, Oct. 25.-selling of the new United States government 1-4 per cent. bonds at 99.96, cents un- der par was the feature of today's ac- live and broad bond market, the main tendency in which was again down ward The decline in the 4 IA per cent issue was a surprise inasmuch as the recent par offering was more than three times oversubscribed.
 Liberty 3 1-2's were unchanged, but al the other government issues lost ground. The first Is, which have not been traded in, in some time, yielded 80 cents on s100 and the .1-4 series were down 10 to 22 cents.
 Weakness in foreign bonds was par ticularly acute in Anton Jurgens 6's, of 1 1-2, and the French municipalst the six per cent issues of Lyons, Bordeaux and Soissons yielding l 1-4 points each. Dominican Republic 5's also dropped more than a point.
 Railroad mortgages gave ground easily, losses of l to l 3-4 points tax. ing place in Norfolk and Western con vertible s's, Pennsylvania Consolidated < 1-2's Chicago Railway 5's. Katy frsts. Frisco adjustment 6's and South ern Railway general As. Wabash frsts l Fractions also were weak, Brooklyn Rapid Transit gold As dropping points and the 7's, 1, while Third ave nue refunding 4's yielded 1 1-2.
 The weak spots in the industrial lis
 were Cuba Cane convertible 7's. Ar mour 1-2s, United States Rubber s
Norwich bulletin., 1922-10-26
MOTHER AND INFANT SON
 SAUEn rRnHr pIrRNINC RIrI1


 Mrs. Ira Church and her five days old son of Williams street. New London, were rescued from their burning home Wednesday noon by three colored em- ploSes of the Pequot manor, Charles Frear, Richard Morris and Elmer Filiair who were passing in an automobile at the time the blaze was discovered by Mrs. Raymond Stearns, who lives oppo- site the Church house. The fire had started from sparks on the roof and had gained considerable headway when dis covered by Mrs. StearuS, who ran out of her home and stoooed the first automo- bile that came along, which happened to be the one in which the three men were riding. Mrs. Stearns told them that Mrs. Church was confined to her bed with her infant son, and immediately the men rushed into the burning building. Frear ard Norris picked up Mrs. Church, while Filiair took care of the baby and brought. the two from the srnoke-hlled building to Mrs Stearns' home, where an improvised cot was ar ranged for the two. Mrs. Stearns in the ] meantime had ,telephoned for the fire department. which arrived soon after the rescue had been completed. The fire had gained such proportions that an alarm was sent in for extra apparatus, and il was with difficult. owing to low water pressure, that the blaze was confined tc the second story. of the building which was badly gutted.
 The house is owned by the Connecticut College for Women. It~was large frame building. painted a deep red, with darl green blinds on all the windows. Nu merous leafy vines grew up tie walls making the place picturesque. A Iargt red barn stood in the rear of the dwell ing.
Norwich bulletin., 1922-10-26
Sterline-
CHICAGO GRAIN MARKET.

Chicago, Oct. 25.-Drought seriously affecting g large part of the winter crop belt had considerable influence as a price lifting factor in the wheat market today. Closing quotations were strongg .3-4c to 2 1-4c net higher, with December and May both at III s-4 to LII 7-S. Corn gained 1-sc to s-4c Q7-Sc, oats lost 1-Sc to, ,1-4c@348c, anJ provisions finished unchanged to- 15c lower.
 According to current advices, the drought in the winter wheat region west of the Missouri river has exceed ed i'll severity anytfin0 Of the kind since 1894. It was said that as a re suit the extent of seeding had been heavily reduced, and that in 10000 600 acres already seeded. the amount. of wheat up was very small. Dearth of moisture was reported to be far worse in Nebraska, Kansas and Oklahoma than was the case last fall.
 Assertions that. because Of the drought any surplus wheat in the United States might be needed for home use next season were. especially l er1phasizd by bull traders, and toward the end of the day offerings disappear ed as if by magic. Earlier an. urex- pected advance at. LiXerpOoll l- was E alsc a stimulus. On the other hand, an nouneement of a substantial increase o l the worlds, available supply, total .x let to temporary bearish reaction dur ing the. middle of the session. = ;..
 Corn .11uetuated in line. with wheat Better domestic shipping demand wa ] noted. and export bids were close, to working basis. Oats Hacked support
 Lower quotations on hogs weakenet the provision market. Besides lard de liveries on October contracts wer likewise something of burden
Norwich bulletin., 1922-10-26

3enefciaries because he was not inter ested in how Mrs. Luther left her money. He did not remember that Mrs Luther ever mentioned Captain Luther's rela- tives or the Jibboom club in connection with the will.
 The witness said that in the fall Of the same year Mrs. Luther came into his office accompanied by Mrs. Armstrong. wife of David r. Armstrong of Groton. 5eXecutor of the will. and their daughter Muriel, and that Mrs. Luther said at that time that she was going to remember Mir. and Mrs. Armstrong and Muriel in her will and that she was going to leave Mrs. Armstrong her diamonds.
 Dr. Rose testified that one day in the latter part of January or the first Of Feb- ruary, 1921. Mrs. Luther left his office saying that she was going to change her will. but he did not member that sh. mentioned any particular respect IT which She was going to make any changes
 The witness declared that Mrs. Luthes used to come to his office frequentiy without appointment and that Sine wouid not wait for him to get through with pa. tients who might happen to be in tnt
Norwich bulletin., 1922-10-26
NOTED ALTENIsTi QUESTIONED
 ON MRS. LuTHER,S MENTALITY

7 Tn the trial of the appeal of Harriet $. Devereaux of Castine. Me. from the viii of her aunt. Mrs Augusta L. Luther of; New London. in the superior court at New London 1on Wednesday, pr. M. K. Rose, New London dentist, told of iconversations he had had with Mrs Lu- ther regarding the disposition of her money. These conyersations. Dr. Rose said. took place. in.- his office while he ther's- teeth. ',r
 Dr. Rose testified that in the summer of 1919 Mrs. Luther told him about a will she had made in which she had made bequests to Mrs. G. l.. Maxson, Miss Elizabeth Sweet. the poor of St. James church and several others. He said he did not remember the names of all the
Norwich bulletin., 1922-10-26
Has He Found a
 Cure for Asthma?
Simple Prescription Gives Instant Relief. Makes Breathing Easy.

In New England, where Bronchial Asthma, Bronchitis and other diseases Of the throat and lungs are so prevalent, remarkably successful results are being reported following the use of a new form of treatment known as Oxidaze. a physi- clans prescription.
 Oxdaze is q harmless but powerful combination of curative essential oils concentrated and compressed into a~small tablet. One of these tablets slowly dis solved before going to bed seems to have the effect of releasing the muscular con striction of the bronchial tubes. opening up the air passages and regulating spas rlodic lung action. This enables the patient to breathe easily and naturally while lying down and to get comfort able nights sleep.
 So much interest has been shown that local druggists including Lee & Osgood, have secured a small supply and state that they are authorized to refund the money paid for the first package If in any case this new treatment fails to give relief. Oxidaze is pleasant to take, con tains- no harmful. habit forming drugs and is not expensive. This makes their | test an easy matter.
Norwich bulletin., 1922-10-26

chair, but would get angry and went out of the door a-fying."
 Following Dr. Roses testimony, pr. Allan Ross Diefendorf of New Haven noted alienlst. was called to the stand to give an opinion az to the mentality Of Mrs. Luther, based upon a hypothetical question. framed from teGtimony of wit nesses regarding her actions, conversa- ton, and incidents in her life.
 The form of the question and the sub ject matter was the basis Of an objection from counsel for the viii. and there was a long discussion which lasted until the noon recess. f--F
 Following the noon recess. the hypo- thetical question. which was passed upon by. Judge Newell Jennings and which covered several typewritten pages was submitted 10 pr. Diefendorf for bis opin- ion, which was that the person in oues- ton was mentally unsound.
Norwich bulletin., 1922-10-26
Now millions combat it

Dental science has, for long, sought ways to fight that film Two effective methods have been found. Able authorities, by care ful tests, proved them beyond question Now millions of people are using them daily, largely by dental advice.
 One method acts to curdle-hlm, the other to remove it. And this is done without the use of any harmful securing agent
 A new-type tooth paste has been created, based on modern research. It includes some new essentials and avoids some old r1is-
Norwich bulletin., 1922-10-26
NEW LONDON SILENT "coPs" oos1
 CITY sfo5 EACH ANNUALLY

The city manager of New London has done little figuring Of late to find out what t costs per annun to ksep little silent cop with a little rcd lar. tern on top stationed at crossings 1T the center Of the city and a, the out skirts. IIo has found that t105 a yea, :I the eost for an outside cop and about half for one in the center Of the ctr.
 New London has IS of thcfo silent poiicemcn at prosent and it costE si.07t a year to keep thom on ihc job. Tfs city has ordered 10 Biicrt cops of th. gas sgnai tl-pc which R if claimed arr more economical They cost t225 each but nccd attention only once ln nl. months. ]. costs f20 for tho nuppiy o' gas yearly and for ten tho coet youls Do 7200 saving of $500 over the ois system. and they arc better looking too New London will soon have thrse oi the new. gas signals on the parade and thc other seven Wli be placed at the most desirablc street Intersections.