The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1922-05-23


By giving The Bookman this ADJ
THE Davenport Democrat chow could we
live without itD says the vice president ap-
Der of positions. One assumes that positions"
are inquiries voiced by pest. Does the Demo
crat intend to apologize to Cal?
Don't You Just Love Motor Hikes?
From The August
Plans of the Black Hawk Hiking club
have been changed and the sand dunes,
near Cordova, have been chosen for the
outing The trip will be made by
autos and trucks.
A PAIR of garage men in Monmouth, Ill,
are frank to the Nth. degree. Talk is cheap"
they advertise. Our advice is free. We know
cur stuff
THE BEST DEFINITION OF A COLYUM
CONDUCTOR WE HAVE EVER HEARD.
Dear Mac: Argus headline: cops ARMY
IS THROWN ABOUT CITY"
From Linda Lee, Ink: Bel snoring, crept
down the stairs
If these will help you in your desperate
need why you are welcome to them-they are
of no commercial value to me. II I had more
time 1 would inhict poem on you-but what
is poetry? A toothache. 1t comes when least
expected.
And say, lissun. if you would rather do your
writing for pleasure send the money on to me
you would still have the pleasure-but what
is pleasure? bad accident You don't know
Is
money? Bath-soap. You chase it patiently and
when you get it it slips through your fingers.
But you wounded my gentle, trusting nature
to the quick when you asserted that 1t is only
the nonentity who escapes criticism, because in
spite of my wistful longing, no one has so far
openly criticised my efforts-in the colyum
oh. that l might be condemned in the highest
terms And this lack of criticism-does it
mean-oh, DOES it mean-but what is criti-
cism? A swollen jaw 1t hurts, but it makes
people notice you. What is colyum? A mus
tache. In time it grows upon you. What are
contribs? Hairs The fewer they are the more
attention they receive. What is a collum con-
ductor? Misery. He loves company.
LIE MOO
BUT, dear LIE Moq, criticism does not
necessarily mean condemnation; it may be
favorable well adverse. Neither does it
need to be put in words, for silence often is
eloquent Still, if cur silence is being mis-
understood We don't mind this once putting in
words the fact that like your stuff and the
more we get of it the more like it. And
four bouquets always have thorns( when the
time comes Cf 1t does) that we don't like it
you'll know it.
RED, WE SUSPECT THIS IS FOR YOU.
Do you know, Mac,
l have the cutest little buddy
regular little thoroughbred;
Has no alley traditions
To live up to-
But traditions mean little
To this young animile
Hes an adVenturer-
mental
Christopher Columbus.
Has imagination:
Always digging up something new
(Or very ODD.
Last Tuesday
He dug up cat
Nobody wanted.
We knew it was there
We buried ii.
And the cunning little devil
Wagged his tail
And couldn't spank him
For l knew
He had the goods
And in few more years
He wouldn't dig up
Any more dead ones
If he understood !
I'd explain that
While the vulture is very necessary bird
ia rather contemplate
humming bird
He has nicer job.
JUDY without the Punch
P. s.: Ask Red if he wants the dog Nv
landlord won't let me keep him.
FROM the Davenport Democrat Rettira dis
inters this ene-a two-ceI cantion a. ,SLis |
flash: 0'i0
Constance Talmadge in The Primitive
Liver At Capitol"
If Comics liver is sluggish or sometbi,g
we suggest she try Old Doc Brady's somere
sault methods.
WELL, SCAM, THE LADY CALLS vo,fp
HAND.
Dear Mac: l didn't think you would he 81 !
cruel 10 me- but since it's "all grist that eomes
10 your mill 1 suppose if my feelings are !
ground to powder that's a small matter IN vo,, !
now Just to prove to Scamozzi how vrone he !
IS L VIII meet him at Huyler's at 4. an anv
saturday afternoon he wishes. I'll show bir, |
REAL people in REAL place-Chicare IN !
public and at her best pESGSS III
+: s; l was going to say something else !
but I've changed my mind
NOW. amt that just like a uo,,a,,,
C'mon, Peg. slip us an earful. We n-o-o;a
10 print it-cross our heart n hope 4 die n,
A HEN near Plainheld. Ill, is said tn have
laid an egg with the date, "1s17', clearly show
ing on the shell.
nothing We've had eggs served To us /
IN restaurant that not only were Older thsn
tnaf. but were able to speak for themselves
R. e M'G.