Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1922-07-17

Things like you are in the sky
Have enough to keep me busy
Buying oil and gas for lizzie.
A great peach crop is predicted for this year. AS
stood Central avenue yesterday afternoon we
felt like it about time to begin to try to pick one
o .
There is only thing we know OF more dis
tracing that having to sit In a doctors reception
is to sit there with pain in our tum and have to
listen to two women tell about their operations for
appendicitis.
O o
Don't Judge Boston by some Of the Boston baked
beans" you get Boston is much better.-St Louis
Globe Democrat Don't judge ST. Louis by the
Buddweiser you get. st. Louis amt to blame.
o o
A TIMELY WARNING. YOUNG MAN!
DR.. c. o. West, city health officer, says: Now
is the time to watch your baby" More than one
has slipped off to 1.-THE Haymus" with some other
fellow
Uncle Wash says that doesn't have to
pass for his face value unless he Is fool.
At Aurora last week Ever Hammer. Chicago
lightweight, in the pink of condition and ham,
mered Charles White. 1t turned Charles black in
spots and made him blue all over,
After graduation what?" asks the Boston Tran
script. "Deflation"
A recent writer declares: "There is nothing
disgusting the spectacle of so-caled human be-
ings with more money than brains" That puts us
where can't afford to keep more than fo-bts on
hand at a time. For goodness sakes don't limit US
like that.
THE BRIEF CASE"
Joseph Walker Magrauth has started a new
magazine to be known THE Brief Case" Who
heard of a brief case except in police court?
And then he promises that his magazine will dis
cuss life in general from the lawyers point of
vtw.' THE Good Book says that there is time for
hub Joul is he in1pf at
o o
Elnor Glyn tells us that There three planes
on which human beings love-spirtual, mental and
physical" She failed to add that the foundations
of these three planes Gold, precious stones and
orchids.
The Boston Transcript recently published an in
teresting article on "Nature's Tree freaks" We
wish they would publish an illustrated article on
Family-tree Freaks. We've some great ones
o . o
AUTOMOBILE TRIPS.
Oil and grease are very detrimental to eyes
ears, and throat
To avoid offensive fumes while working the
machine-gag yourself.
One crank will be sufficient for the trip.
When camping trip two jacks may prove use
full in keeping your bed out of the mud.
The autost who enters contest with an ap-
preaching locomotive is lucky if he is not defeated
He may be dsarmed, defaced, delivered and de-
ceased.
Investigate all unusual sounds in your car. I'M
The Bologna Butchers local union ia puts a
union label on their hot dogs at Coney Island. We
suppose the label is a small dog collar.
o o 0
If the problems of modern life would present
themselves in modern attire. then statesmen and
philosophers might see things as they really are
o o o
A contributor to The Nations Health takes five
paragraphs in which to catalogue what the average
man wears Miss Minnie Fewclothes says five words
| is too much.
o %
| We nominate for the Six Greatest Men in His
tory: The inventor of baseball the discoverer of
the Pacific beach, the immortal who invented fish
ing, Jiggs, Mutt and Jeff-one- haf each-and Ring
W. Lardner.
ALBUQUERQUE DIARY.
Saturday, July S-A state realty association was
organized with Albuquerque men president, Sec
rotary and treasurer The purpose of the association
is to protect the public from unprincipled dealers
Sunday, July 9-District Forester f. c. w. Pooler
declares that the New Mexico forests sef-sup-
porting Gosh, we envy the forests.
Congressman Nestor Montoya predicts a repub-
lican victory in the election next November He
says that the candidates must be good runners
Even the democrats will admit that. The women
OF New Mexico are reported about to take great in
terest in state politics May say that the politi
cal bee is looking for honey.
| Monday, July 10-Another good California beach
picture appeared on the back page Of the Morning
Journal for those of us who can't go.
Samuel L; vauclain one of the highest powered
!
spoke at luncheon at the Country club and also
in Rodey hall at the university. Mr.. Vauclain is
an optimist and he speaking to city of OPP
timists. He said that prosperity is here. We know
lit-this s the first Job we had in four years.
| Tuesday. July 11-Rackety clack! Clack clack
clack! Colonel Alphabet Sellers has done come
back!
The state board Of examiners licensed three
moro doctors for Albuquerque Another cloud thai
must have silver lining
! Albuquerque fathers met at the Chamber oil
Commerce with the hope OF making plans to in
crease the city's population to 10000
| Wednesday, July 12-Ma and the children per
suaded Pa to go to the Chautauqua.
Thursday, July 13-Pa is glad he went to the
Chautauqua. He says II humdnger.
l ALBUQUERQUE is EXPECTING!
to get the million dollar B. r. T. hospital t.
get the thirty million dollar War Women's ma
tional memorial hospital and increase of fifteeI
thousand inhabitants in the next ten years
Friday July 14-Hear Ye! Hear Ye! A new
item says: "Clare T. Smith was taken sick few
days ago. He taken to G--but the doc
tors there were unable to do anything for him. H
was taken to Albuquerque, where he is doing yer.
nicely now"
8 Wishing you the same.
> A. TRELLIs.
. HOW REALLY SHOCKING.
At Hagerman last week the "Dynamos are al
legged to have entertained the Live Wires"
= o o o.
FRED HASKIN'S QUESTIONS.
! @. 'Is Greyhound a real hound?"
A. No. Not when compared to some rea
hounds we have known.
: Q. What percentage of the people are sick a