Omaha daily bee., 1922-02-15


That our Congress now is needing
Just such fellows as Judge Sears
PHILOSOPHY.
II is all right to have something the matter
with your head if it's gray matter.
Before marriage man calls girl the light
of his life; after marriage he kicks on the light
bill.
Ouch says he broke their last chair yes,er-
day, but he still has the old lounge to fall back
on.
SIGNS OF SPRING.
Our overcoat, which has been in service for
several seasons, and is, therefore, to be relied
upon, has begun to shed its buttons.
A COMING CHAMP.
Unwary friend: Hows the baby these days?
Fond father: Say, you know that boys just
able to walk and he's an athlete right now
L. F.: Yeah?
+. F.. I'll say so. Every time he goes near
the phonograph he breaks another record.
p. D. Q.
There's something wrong with those who do
not enjoy embracing pretty girl more than
embracing an pportunity.-Hastings (Neb.)
Tribune.
Yeah, but pretty girl doesn't come knock
ing at the door.
The woman who makes her own dresses will
make good ousekeeper.-Hastings (Neb.)
Tribune.
His address, girls, is Adam Breede, bachelor
and bon vivant, Hastings, Neb.-Warren CO.,
Tribune.
Being comparatively newcomer to Ne
braska, we have never had the pleasure Of meet
ing Mr.. Breede personally, but from reading his
column we had formed that he was bachelor.
He is so cheerful and displays so much knowl-
edge OF affairs marital.
.... QUICK WORK.
She deity pinned upon his clothes
rosebud fair,
He kissed her three times on the nose
And mussed her hair.
A FRANCO-GERMAN RAPPRO
Dear Sir A recent advertisement in our
local papers reads: "Lost-A German police
dog who answers to the name of 'Cheric"
Your comparatively, T. B.
Tim says In looking over the weeks sup
ply of contribs we find that Tim hasn't said
anything recently. Smatter, Tim muse gone
on a toot? We all miss your philosophy
BOY, PAGE Mr.. JOHN J. NORMALCY.
Thousands of hopeful and optimistic citizens
artisans, farmers, stockmen, professional and
business men, propretors Of moving picture
shows, office boys, stenographers, strap-hangers,
booteggers and poets--have been looking for
ward eagerly to the time when these United
States OF America would settle, back into the
cushions take a fresh grasp on the wheel, and
steer a safe sane and conservative course into
the realms of normalcy-when frenzied finance
would give way to better business and peace and
tranquility should prevail over all
And just as we get ready to slip on the beat
tihc countenance to welcome the aforementioned
blissful state of affairs, new furore grabs the
country by the handle and starts shimmy that
aeitates the great land of the home and the free
of the brave, as it were, from Maine to Holly
wood-from Rum Runners Paradise to the Gulf.
Navies are cast into the scrap heap, ratification
is forgotten, politics are sde-tracked, soldier
bonuses, short skirts, movie scandals, VIII Hays,
aye. even prohibition, are sunk into temporary
oblivion, while the great nation is fairly hent
asunder. brother arrayed against brother and
husband aligned against mother -in-law, over the
nomentous and terrific question, l. e. and towit:
Shall Uncle BIN marry the Widow lander!
TODAY'S IDLE THOUGHT.
When a young man steals kiss the girl
can't help herselt--but the young man can, ana
does.
ISN'T 1T THE TRUTH?
The women do the buying
For the household, without fuss,
They show without half trying
That they're efficient, plus;
They smoothly do the trading,
But still it makes US cuss,
As through the bills we're wading
That monthly come to us.
AFTER-THOUGHT: 1t is the head OF the
family that foots the bills. PH1LO.