New-York tribune., 1922-09-05
Mutiny!

Sir:-Let's start clean. NV reason
for this letter is personal and precious.
You'd two pieces of rhymed drivel in
The Tower this morning; one mine,
one yourn. I can see you juggling the
fatuous pair. (Which one," you sez,
Shall okkipy the most conspicuous
place on the pillory?"
You were gracious. You perceived
that mine, as it stood. would win by a
hair. Hence, you improved" it by q
few bludgeon touches. And mercifully
submerged it. And earned my death
less gratitude. And your readers for,
ask you, who would read through,
much less beyond, "Ambition"?
Benevolent buffer, | salute you.
Spitefully, STANLEY X. WILSON.
Mr.. Wilson aoromgs as in one particu-
,ar. There a0as no Juggling nor the
least question in our mind as to sohich
piece of verse should head The Tower.
CONFESSIONS OF A PINCH HITTER
Inspiration,
If a pinch hitting coumnist takes
his job to heart he has no fixed hours
of toll. He has likewise no day off
and no period dedicated entirely to
slumber He thinks no thought, he
makes no articulate sound without
wondering at once if it could be worked
up into wheeze for his column. Day
and night, he is continually con-
tributing to himself
Sometimes he carries piece Of
paper about with him and srisks ex-
tinction by stopping short in the heart
of traffic to note down something ap-
proximatng jest. He dashes away
from supper to scribble hurriedly. In
spiration comes to him while he is in
the tub, and he dries himself, mutter-
ing over and over namely the verse
or the joke, and bursts out, seeking
paper and pencil. He wakes and lies
debating whether the idea that came
to him in slumber is worth lighting
the light and waking his wife to per-
petuate.
He leads dogs life.
II he is pinch hitter less faithful to
his trust he comes to the Office with his
mind as smooth and blank as the surface
of pond. Before his typewriter he sits
down and proceeds to fish that pond for
ideas. Sometimes the fishing is exc
cradle. More frequently it is worse. He
leads dogs life, too.
Still, there is thrill when you feel
the nibble of a paragraph and surge
of triumph when you hook it at last.
1t is probably under legal length and
1t looks as though it had been caught
before. You are tempted to throw it
back. But you never do. Into the
column it goes. and If you are spe-
cially ashamed OF it you have it set in
italic. People are less likely to read
itaIic.
There are long stretches when the
idea-fishing columnist get no abites at
all and sits CLASSY eyed, watching
Julius, the Office boy, trying to find
some spot where he can sit and not
hear any one call him or marveline
at the editorial writer's molding pub
lie opinion. He goes out to the drink
ing fountain, and returns to sit and
stare some more. Finally he hooks an
idea. He works feverishly and lands it
only to find that 1t is another version
of joke he used weeks ago. He is on
the verge of plagiarizing- from
other people, for he does that all the
time-but from himself That shows
a moral obliquity even more abhorrent
than cheating at solitaire. When a
man gets into 50 abject state he
should change his job. We have been
doing column for nine months. We
should have changed our job at the
end of two.
Speaking Of climate, as one stall can
by a rigorous use of censorship, So
journ in Asia seents to hare done eCon.
ders for the Sick Mar Of Europe.
Add to the advantages of the news
paper profession: You have to work
on labor Dayl FEW.