davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The herald. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1905-1953, 1922-10-12
THEIR SAD PLIGHT

During my stroll around the
town this afternoon" said a guest
Il was surprised at the number Of
despondent-appearing old men 1 saw
Vho looked as if they had nothing
to live for"
"They amt, skurcely," replied
the landlord Of the Petunia tavern.
You see, the last livery stable,
where for years they congregated
and argued religion, recollected the
weather and cussed the gov'ment.
burned down the other day. and
when they rambled around to the
barber shop, the billiard hall and the
post office lobby they found them all
taken up by citizens who by reason
OF long attendance had grown to
feel that they had the exclusive
right to loaf and argue there
Kansas City Star.
The herald. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1905-1953, 1922-10-12
THE CLEVER PRINTER

Frank A. Munsey at a recent ban.
quet in New York overhowed with
delightful youthful memories.
81 not only wrote my first maya
zine myself" he said, "but 1 did
nearly all the printing of it myself
as well. These printersl The way
they could decipher the most unde-
cipherable handwriting! 1t was
marvellous. The typewriter, you
know, hadn't come yet.
"One day Henry Ward Beecher
dashed into our printing office and
laid dusty packet of manuscript
before the foreman.
~ must have a clean proof Of
this he said, by tomorrow
Were very busy said the fore
man. Cant you give us till Mon
day or Tuesday, Mr.. Beecher?'
No. said Mr.. Beecher, Il can't.
You see, this is a sermon. It's a
special sermon, and 1 must preach it
tomorrow morning. But 1 wrote it
eight or nine years ago, and now I
can't make out word it SAYS"
The herald. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1905-1953, 1922-10-12
WHY:
Name "Devil Fish" Is Appro-
pirate for Sea Monster

Many authors have written thrilling
descriptions of the devil fish, and al
though scientists declare that usually
these accounts are exaggerated. they
admit that the creature has many curl
Gus features.
The devil fish varies In length from
/ inch To 90 feet, but very few speci-
mems Of the largest kind have been
/ found, and none Of these was In per-
! feet condition owing to the fierce at
tacks of whales and other monsters
Of the deep.
They are provided with sucker arms
or tentacles, with which they catch the
small fish on which they live. These
arms are tremendously strong, and, In
addition, the devil fish Is armed with a
sharp parrotlike beak. In spite OF
these formidable weapons, however,
timid and easily cowed, says a writer
In London Tit-Bits.
The smaller devil fish swim in shoals,
and as they move they change their
color according TO their surroundings.
They have another device which en-
ables them to escape when hard
pressed. This is the Ink bag. by means
Of which they can pour out a dark
fluid which makes the sea around them
thick and cloudy.
In appearance the devil fish Is
lOathsome creature, for its long, with
Ing arms and fixed, stony stare are
terrifying in the extreme.
Besides being able to swim, 1t can
crawl along the sea bottom on It's
feelers. 1t lies in some crack In the
rocks and as soon as fish passes its
hiding place Its feelers shoot out with
amazing speed. Once the suckers have
touched the victim there is no escape,
and 1t Is drawn quickly into the great
mouth.
The herald. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1905-1953, 1922-10-12
MADE FROM ABAL0NE SHELL
Most of the So-CalIed Pearl Buttons
Used in This Country Are
Of That Material.

Millions of dollars worth Of but
tons are used in this country every
year. Of these a large percentage
are made from some form of salt
or fresh water shell. The real pearl
shell from which the pearl button
was once made is a product of the
tropics and has become so scarce
and difficult to obtain that nearly all
so-called pearl buttons are made
from the shell of the abalone, a
strange and but little known shell
fish of the Pacific coast.
These are a form Of the limpet
and grow singly on the rocks, to
which they attach themselves so
strongly that an iron bar is required
to pry them off. They are found
mostly in the rocky lodges of the
central and southern California
coast, and whole schooner cargoes
are found about the Gulf of Califor-
MIA. These are brought to San
Francisco, whence they are distrib-
uted to the various markets.
A full-grown shell will measure
from seven to ten Inches in length;
they are beautifully tinted inside,
the brilliant hues of the center
merging into a soft pearl tint
round the border. The fish which
inhabits these shells is a food prod
uct valued highly by dwellers along
the coast where they are found.
The herald. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1905-1953, 1922-10-12
How Air Specimens Arc Secured.

The instrument used by a French
scientist for collecting specimens of
air at high attitudes with the aid of
sounding balloons consists Of a very
perfect vacuum tube with a finely
drawn out end. Either the rise of the
mercury In a barometer, correspond
Ing with a previously determined alti-
tude, or the clockwork Of the meteoro-
graph, form an electric contact,
causing little hammer to fall and
break the end Of the tube. Air then
rushes In, whereupon another electric
contact, brought about by the same
means, causes the current of a small
accumulation to heat the platinum wire
wound around the capillary tube to a
red heat. This fuses the glass and
again closes the end Of the vacuum
tube, thus entrapping the air.
The herald. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1905-1953, 1922-10-12
VILLAGES HAVE FEW OILERS
Cities, on the Contrary. Are the Gen.
tors Of Innumerabls Useless
Activities.

When the National Economic Re
search bureau completed its investi-
CATION of salaries and incomes i,
the United. States, it found that SO
out of every 100 men in this coun-
try have an income of less than
$4,000 a year. Those who earn
$4,000 a year are so rare as to be
almost supermen-about one-tenth,
as l remember the figures, of l per
cent, writes Fred Kelly in The Ma
TONS Business.
However, $4,000 a year isn't 50
bad if one doesn't live in large city
where he is compelled to pay a big
rent for the luxury of living near
many other people. In a small
place $4,000 a year may bring every
reasonable comfort. But how many
who earn $4,000 in a great city
could earn even $4,000 in a village?
Somehow, it appears that one must
come nearer to delivering value in
small place than in a big one.
Cities are centers of many useless
activities. Think Of all the liveried
apartment-house doormen, eyebrow
pluckers and Mushroom brush bows
in cities, to say nothing of high
salaried publicity agents, assistant
vice presidents and such. What
chance would any of these have in a
sensible little village or on a farm,
where everybody engages in actual
definite toll?
The herald. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1905-1953, 1922-10-12
THE HAGUE IN HISTORY

The Hague has a population Of
100000. 1t is located in southern
Holland, and is the seat of the Dutch
government. 1t is fashionable and
handsome city with fine streets and
avenues and attractive squares. A
seaside resort is located only a short
distance from the capital.
Many treaties have been signed at
The Hague. Among these were the
treaty of the triple alliance signed
in 1858 by England, Sweden and
the Netherlands; of the triple alli-
ance in 1717 by France, England
and Holland; the treaty of peace
between Holland and France in
1898.
The Hague tribunal was estab-
hshed in 1899; signed by "A powers;
purpose to facilitate international
arbitration.
The herald. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1905-1953, 1922-10-12
REMAIN PAGAN IN RELIGION
Customs and Traditions OF Native ST..
berian Tribes Have Been I'm.
changed for Centuries.

Along with some 100000 Rms.
sian settlers in Siberia there arc
some 25 races and tribes. Most Of
them have their own languages, or
igins, customs and traditions.
They have in common their
simple handicraft, their KNOWLEDGE
of forest and steppe craft, and their
pagan religion, which teaches them
that the gods of stream and noun.
tain and forest are always near and
that constant communication can be
maintained with the spirits Of the
departed.
Only one race Of Siberian natives
can be termed really dangerous
That is the Tchuckchees, who live I'D
in that corner of Arctic Asia which
juts out into Behring strait. Even
they, however, are far from being
bloodthirsty.
The Siberian "Indian" has no
chiefs and acknowledges no "boss"
among his own people but the sha-
man, or witch doctor.
The shaman is pagan priest, a
magician, a ventriloquial communi-
Gator with the spirits, a medicine
man, a prophet; a man who DOS
seSses no administrative authority
at all, but to offend whom it is ex-
ceedingly unhealthy.
Shamanism is primitive blend
Of religion and magic which is the
faith of practically all the Siberian
aborigines.
The herald. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1905-1953, 1922-10-12
MORE THAN ONE WAY

A gentleman with sensitive and
cultivated ear was annoyed by the per.
sistent and wretched piano playing of
a woman who occupied the adjoining
fiat. One day he met her in the hall
with her four-yearold daughter.
Your little girl plays quite well for
a child of her age" he remarked in
his most friendly manner. Il hear her
practicing every day"
The offender made sure he was out
when she opened the piano again.
The herald. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1905-1953, 1922-10-12
Why the Sea In SaIf

The sea Is salt because all the rivers
IN the world are carrying salt from the
rocks and the soil to the ocean and
leaving 1t there. The water Is evapo-
rated by the sun. but the salt re-
mains behind, and so the ocean Is be-
coming more salt as the years 60 on.
Some lakes and seas are in like con-
dition, as witness the Dead sea in
Palestine. which is very salty, because
the River Jordan carries salt into II
but there Is no river flowing out of
II, and the salt keeps gathering all
the time.
The herald. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1905-1953, 1922-10-12
Why Termed Eavesdropper

Everybody knows, of course, that
housekeeping means the practice of
stealthily trying to overhear other Der
sons conversation. The origin of the
phrase leads US back to the beginnings
Of the laws of real estate.
According to the old Saxon code
no one owning land could cultivate
1t or build on 1t within certain fixed
distance Of its boundary. Here we
have the start of what today we call
restriction"
The strip thus left was called tho
-eavesdrip." An "eavesdripper" or
"eavesdropper" was one who stood in
the "eavesdrip" to listen to a CONVEX.
sation inside the neighborlng dwelling.
Milwaukee Sentinel.
The herald. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1905-1953, 1922-10-12
Will Show Up the Teeth.

The nOse-brldge will also be fitted
up with additional illumination. as
well as the lower Jaw. The effect OF
the latter Will be designed so as To
show up the teeth, which were one OF
the notable features OF the abOrigi.
nees. The whole thing Will be such
that no one ever seeing II can forget
MIR. Glidden's museum. If men ever
grew large enough for heads of such
a size as this skull, they would be
from 60 to 20 feet tall Although the
original Channel islanders were large
men, not many exceeded one tenth of
that size.
The novelty of Mr.. GlIdden's mu.
scum will not stop with the outside
If anything. the interior Is to be even
more bizarre. He intends taking for
his pattern a mortuary chapel recent.
ly unearthed on the Island of Malta,
In the Mediterranean, halfway be-
tween Italy and Tripoli. where st.
Paul was shipwrecked In GO A. d.
This burial hall has for its mural
decorations more than 1000 skulls.
with frieze Of collar-bones.
Will Be Open to the Public.
While Mr.. Glldden will not attempt
to duplicate this chapel, he intends
to arrange many of the human bones
that he has collected H. various geo.
metric designs. When completed the
museum on Santa Catalina will be
unlike anything else anywhere In this
country. II will be open to the gen.
eral public. and the builder plans to
give talks on the relics so that the
people who visit 1t will learn some
thing besides having their curiosity
catered to.
The Museum of the American In
dian. George G. Heye Foundation,
was opened in 1916 In New York, at
the corner of One Hundred and Fifty
fifth street and Broadway, adjoining
the Hispanic Society Of America, the
American Geographic society and the
American Numismatic society. Its
purpose was to study the Indians of
North. Central and South America, to
gather evidence Of their civilizations
and modes Of life and to disseminate
knowledge concerning them.
Mr.. Heye. director, commissioned
Mr.. Glidden to explore the Channel
Islands and collect relics of vanished
Indians. Although the islands have
already been dug over repeatedly by
successive expeditions for archeolori.
cal researches from this country and
abroad, the results attained by MFR.
Glldden have been little short of 70.
markable, in the Judgment of scien-
tihc men. He has dug up more than
y thousand skeletons. Nine months
work on Catalina yielded 316. In five
onths he obtained 343 on San Miguel
nd BIG from San Nicolas in four
months. AS result Of these ex-
piorations the Heye museum has the
nnest exhibit of Channel island In.
dian lore existent. not surpassed even
oy that of the Smithsonian institu.
tion In Washington.
The herald. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1905-1953, 1922-10-12
NEW BOOZE RECORD

The record of Kentucky's famous
squirrel whisky has been surpassed.
Joseph Maltz, a baker, after drink.
ing half pint Of the stuff now gen.
orally sold in New York, instead of
climbing a tree, kissed three sixty.
year-old women whom he had never
seen before and jumped off a Viii.
hamsburg pier, though he couldn't
swim. - = -
The herald. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1905-1953, 1922-10-12
THoueHTLEss, At LEAST

80 Bill Grimsby is now living
next to your place at Suburbia
How do you find him as a closeup
neighbor?
Make your own deductions when
l tell you that he borrowed my
oottle-capping machine, kept it two
weeks and returned it with thanks
only."DJudge.
The herald. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1905-1953, 1922-10-12
Sounded Good

Sir Walter de Frece Is said to be
one OF the best raconteurs In English
clubdom. One Of his latest is of the
man who accosted another In a West
End saloon bar. "Pardon. but you are
Or. Smith, aren't your he inquired.
The man addressed denied that that
was his name. But surely" said the
nrst speaker. you attended my wifeY'
Il did not" was the answer, NOR am
I q doctor" 'Then you must have a
doublel" Thank you'll" said the man:
II will."-Argonaut.
The herald. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1905-1953, 1922-10-12
Sarcastic,

A farm hand who had worked every
day In the week from dawn till late at
night, finishing his duties BY lantern
light. went to the farmer at The end Of
the month and said:
i am going to leave. You promised
me a steady job"
well. haven't you oneY' was the
astonished reply.
NO." said the worker. "There are
three or four hours every night when
don't have anything to do except fool
away my time sleeping"
The herald. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1905-1953, 1922-10-12
WOMEN TO RULE WORLD

BY 1877, at the latest, women will
rule the world and men will do the
Homework and care for the chill.
dren, according to the prophecy Ct
a professor in tire University o.
Southern California.
The herald. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1905-1953, 1922-10-12
Want Library for Every ShIp.

During the recent war the American
Library association placed for the use
OF the men Of the merchant marine
ships a total Of $4,000 books. These
books were made up into libraries and
shifted from one vessel to another.
Recently the American Merchant Ma.
rine Library association has been or.
ganized for the purpose Of carrying
on this work under the slogan "A
Library for Every Ship."!The Class.
mate.
The herald. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1905-1953, 1922-10-12
Children Make Lono Journev

Benny and Sadie Mayer, twelve and
nine years old. living with their sister.
Mrs. Elizabeth Hiken, In Milwaukee.
have just completed an extensive
Journey that rivals the travels of a
Marco Polo. The children Travelled
from their former homes in Bobru,sk
Russia. to Milwaukee. by themselves
The herald. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1905-1953, 1922-10-12
r.,,n.sr.AttsA

coun.sr.Att''I :, y
sne-All IS over Sslr ',.s.. =
away ray your hateful pr, p'.' 'ss |. pf'|
ue-AIl right. Give ]
The herald. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1905-1953, 1922-10-12
PaIama-cIad Girls Save co,t,,..

bucket brigade of 80 pajama.
clad sorority girls saved the summer
cottage colony at Lakeside, Mich,
from destruction. Through their ef.
forts fire which destroyed a grocery
store and the Alpha Gamma M cot.
tage, was prevented from spreading TO
the long rows Of frame structures
along the beach.
The herald. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1905-1953, 1922-10-12
Different MATTER

"Polonius advised against being q
borrower"
YES" observed Senator Sor-
ghum, "but Polonius was speaking
OF individual affairs and not as q
representative of European gov.
eminent"
The herald. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1905-1953, 1922-10-12
Deserved Reward.

whats going Oh hcre?"
"A column conductor is being pre-
scented with loving cup by his admir-
ing constituents"
what inspired such an unusual dem.
OnstratiOn?"
"He has never initiated Pepy's diary
or written a parody on 'Mary's Little
Lamb"
The herald. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1905-1953, 1922-10-12
IN FINANCIAL TROUBLE

Bruce, age eight, was selling June
apples for a neighbor on commits
sion. He had industriously peddled
the fruit all the morning, but when
ne had completed the task he had TO
report to the neighbor that he had
been compelled to do a credit bust
ness almost entirely, as practically
all customers had been without
money for that day.
His brother Charles, three years
older, listened to the explanation
and then exclaimed:
my! They're in a bad fxw
Immense Production.
Some idea Of the productivity OF the
volcanic soil Of Hawaii may be had
when 1t Is stated that while there are
only 1O9,31O acres devoted to sugar
cane, the annual average production
OF this area Is 54O,24S tons of sugar
while Cuba with a cane acreage Of
approximately 100000 acres In bar.
vest annually produces a yearly aver.
age of 100000 tons of sugar. II ia
claimed that In no part of the world
are such improved and Intensive crl.
tural methods used as In Hawaii
The herald. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1905-1953, 1922-10-12

Fat Gent-Can 1 have the next
dance with you?
Young Lady-Not the next, but
the twelfth.
Fat Gent-But I'll not be here
that late.
Young Lady-Neither will I.
The herald. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1905-1953, 1922-10-12
FsuIthndlna

There is too much ia'ir
the world" a.. ,.s d
"Yet faultfinding mas ',.Ms|
discoveries had he been r s,.Issi
Isfed with the navigation
his time"
The herald. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1905-1953, 1922-10-12

Miss Sarah Bellum-No one Of
this generation appreciates me. 1
was born too soon.
Max Multiro1-Quite so. l be-
ieve you'd be a pretty girl if you
had been born about twenty years
later than you were.
The herald. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1905-1953, 1922-10-12
No Swell Joint

Farmer Tin the eiu)-l WI
ind an eatin' house.
Pedestrian-Ars you lootgfi
particular place!
Farmer-Well, not too tuik 4
Ter.
The herald. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1905-1953, 1922-10-12
Anything Goes.

You'll have to entertain the guests.
Exert yourself"
Il know an Irish joke"
Us 1t fit for mixed companyY
It's fit for mixed company nova.
days"
The herald. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1905-1953, 1922-10-12
Both Out-CalItnu-

He-Where were you last nightf
She-Out. 1 called on a newly mar
ried pair. Where were your"
He-1 was out, too. I called on a
pair Of mines.
The herald. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1905-1953, 1922-10-12
There's a Bio Difference.

Look In the Congressional Record
II you want to see what Represents.
tive TwObble is doing"
THAT wouldn't help me any,"
"No?"
THAT only tells what he's savings
The herald. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1905-1953, 1922-10-12
Adds to His Reyehu.

She-Father's remarks about Won
were very bitter.
Helm glad they we're, because
I'm going to make him eat his words
The herald. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1905-1953, 1922-10-12
ELECTRIC HOLDS RECORD

The highest speed ever attained
on a railway-131 miles an hour
was made by an electric locomotive
in 1903.
The herald. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1905-1953, 1922-10-12
Why IL 10 Called aPenknlSe %

Our ancestors, when they wanted
to write, used goose-quills, which had
to be sharpened from time to time as
they wore away. Hence clerks and
other writer's carried small kniyes
which became known as penknives."
The herald. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1905-1953, 1922-10-12

Two hundred feet above the Pa.
cific ocean and overlooking Avalon,
on Catalina island, Ralph Glidden-of
the staff of the Museum of the Amer
lean Indian, George G. Heye FOunda.
ton, In New YOrk-will erect a unique
museum of his own that should prove
one of the wonders Of the modern
world. Mr. Glidden is an archeolog-
ical authority on the famous Channel
Islands, in whose ancient history there
Is a steadily increasing interest.
Instead of a tower to crown 1t, the
Glldden museum will be capped by a
gigantic skull. 10 feet wide, IL feet
high and "A feet through. For his
model. Mr.. Glidden is taking the skull
or an Indian chief which he unearthed
recently on San Nicolas island, Just
out beyond Catalina. The enlarge
ment will follow Its dimensions pro-
pOrtionately.
The museum will be an imposing
structure of solid masonry, 80 by 40
feet. The skull featuring the exterior
VIII serve as an index to the contents
OF the building. The eye-sOckets will
be five feet In diameter, equipped
with powerful electric lamps, the
lights of which will be visible far out
at sea.
The herald. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1905-1953, 1922-10-12
Soft Soap Still Effective

Hubby, writer in Blanks Maya.
zine says that wives should get wages
Don't you think they should?" "Of
course, my dear, but there isn't money
enough in the whole world to pay you"
Then she smiled and went on Washing
the dishes.
The herald. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1905-1953, 1922-10-12
Beat Him a MiIe

"That tenor of ours can hold one If
his notes for nearly two minutes"
That's nothing. I've held a note
Tor nearly two years, that one of
yours"
The herald. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1905-1953, 1922-10-12

Mr.. Jones-Hesvensl NIvsa
are turning yellow.
Mrs. Jones-Mercy, Gtcri
mlstook my hair bleach for tak'
ter.
The herald. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1905-1953, 1922-10-12
Unfortunate!

AFTER he fell off the car and was
found to be badly Injured, what did
the plaintiff sayr witness was
asked.
Wltness-He said: "Confound II, and
I've paid my fare right on to Ilford !"
London Tlt-Bits.
The herald. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1905-1953, 1922-10-12
The World . ss'ss

shakespeare says al
a stage" c.,sups ~
the cost Of living lndi, ,'sst ss|
ence of a great many u'''
tors"
The herald. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1905-1953, 1922-10-12
The nulIno p,ni,.

Il saw Banks, the srnr|
church"
yes. He heard that tie rsI
the Celestial City were pR I
gold, and he wants 10 BID a d
tensions"
The herald. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1905-1953, 1922-10-12
Movie Standby

what is this drama aboutr"
THE great Northwest. Shall we 70
in?"
mo. know that plot thoroughly
now"
The herald. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1905-1953, 1922-10-12
Generoua MendltltI.

"Your thermometer b yhaIt ?
rect 1t registers 10 degrees la Z
the actual temperature
That's why | like Il ltra :
fearfully candid friends
The herald. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1905-1953, 1922-10-12
Accommodating,

Lady-BefOre l take you I must
know If you're engaged.
Lena-Ma'am, do you mean II I
have Teller.
Lady-Yes.
Lena-No, ma'am, I haven't. but I
can soon get one, IL you like 1t.
The herald. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1905-1953, 1922-10-12
One on Uncle Sam

Ella-Who is this E Pluribus Unumf
Father don't know. but | don't
Ike these men who part their naIcs s
in the middle.
The herald. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1905-1953, 1922-10-12

Pas.
trust
equsst'
Gold
sane.
Avenu
The herald. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1905-1953, 1922-10-12
Hard to Discouraue.

Senator, there Is q man outside
who looks like job hunter"
TELL him to come back tomorrow"
HE says he hasn't eaten In two
days"
THAT won't keep him from coming
back. He'll show up here if he has to
be brought in on a stretcher."