Phoenix tribune., 1922-07-22
'That,s the programme y

"Adelbert, crooned Mr.. McGuffey
"ain't you got no heart? You know
| got a half interest in the VICTOR
"O-oo-ohl" Captain Scraggs groaned,
and his groan was that of seasick
passenger. When he could look up
again his face was ghastly with mis-
cry.
Glib" he pleaded sadly, "you got
us where the hair is short Don't in
woke the law an make us handle that
Goldfish, Glib 1t amt right. Gimme
leave to tow that barge ge-anything to
keep your freight off the Victor, an
well pull it up river for you"
"Be a good feller, Glib. You usen'ter
he hard an spiteful like that" urged
McGuffey.
"Tll tow the barge free" walled
Scraggs
Mr.. Gibney sat calmly down on the
stringer and lit cigar. Nature had
blessed him with a strong constitu-
ton amidships and the contiguity of
his tainted fortune bothered him but
little. He squinted over the tip of the
cigar at Captain Scraggs
you're just the same old Scraggsy
you was in the green-pea trade. All
you need is a ring in yer nose,
Scraggsy, to make you a human hog
Here you goes to work an soaks me
a dollar ton when you'd be tickled
to death to do the job for half O. that,
I NJ xnf1 INO rrnn I
there appealin' to my friendship So
you'll tow the barge up free, eh? Well,
just to make the transaction legal, I'll
give you a dollar for the job an let
you have the barge. Skip to it.
Scraggsy, an draw up q new bill,
guaranteein' to tow the barge for one
dollar. Then gimme back $4,000 an
I'll hand you back this receipted
freight bill"
Captain Scraggs darted into his cab
in, dashed off the necessary document,
and returning to the deck, presented
it, together with the requisite refund,
to Mr.. Gibney, who, in the meantime,
had come aboard.
Whatever are you a-goin' to do
with this awful Goldfish, Gib?" he de-
manded.
MIR. Gibney cooked his hat over one
ear and blew cloud of smoke in the
shippers face.
swell, boys, I'll tell you. Sailed
Goldfish that's been under water a long
time gets most O. the salt took out of
it, an even at sea, If it's left long
enough, it'll get so darned ripe that
it's what you might call offensive. But
it makes good fertilizer. There amt
nothin in the world to equal Goldfish,
medium ripe, for fertilizer. I've rugged
up deal with a orchard comp'ny
that's layin' out a couple o. thousand
acres o. young trees up in the delta
lands o. the Sacramento. I've sold 'em
The lot, after first buyin' it from the
owners o the schooner for hundred
dollars. Every time these orchard fell
Iers dig hole to plant young fruit
tree they aim to heave a Goldfish in the
bottom o. the hole first, for fertilizer.
There was upward O two hundred
thousand Goldfish In that schooner an
I've sold 'em for five cents each, de-
livered at Dunnigans landn' l fig
ger on cleanin' up about seven thou
sand net on the deal. thought me an
Neils was stuck at first, but got my
Imagination workin'-"
Captain Scraggs sank Imply into
McGuffey's arms and the two stared
at the doughty commodore
"Hit in the face with a fortune an
didn't know It," gasped poor McGuffey.
"Gib, Pm sure glad you got out whole
on that DEAL"
Thanks to lack O. Imagination in
You an Scraggsy I'm about two hun
dred an fifty dollars ahead O. my
estimate now, on account O. the free
tow o that barge. Me an Neils GER
tainly makes a nice little split on
account O. this here Goldfish DEAL"
Glib" chattered Scraggs, whats