Evening star., 1922-11-26
BY JEROME BENEDICT.

By JEAOME HENED1Sls
T NJ not sure whether to take my
wife and son to Siberia or to a
sanatorium. Siberia holds num-
4 Der CT inducements. For one
thing. neighbors there are so busy
keeping themselves warm that they
advising other people how to take
care of a baby.
On the other hand, alas, if human
nature is the same thing the world
over. I suppose our neighbors there
would blow a few icicles Off their
noses ard forget to shiver long
enough to tell US that Oscar hasn't
enough furs around his head or that
his boots are too short and are
cramping his toes.
Now a sanatorium-the kind I mean
holds people who are interested in
green horses and dragons. or who
think that the pink ants have declared
war against them-or who have rela-
tives that think they can manage for
tunes which inmates previously ac-
cumulated much better than the accu
mulators.
The big consolation there would be
that whatever advice they gave
would not have to be taken seriously
But our neighbors! No wonder
that alienist on the corner gives me
a professional look when 1 pass by
Like q bird of prey ready to descend:
Or vivisectionist with a fat rabbit
on the table in front of him.
The trouble did not start in its full
intensity until we got the baby cab.
Blissfully unconscious of the effects
resultant from a stroll, we set forth
proudly to give the first born the air.
It was a signal for the swarm Of
advice-givers to alight on us. At the
head Of the procession came that dear
Mrs. Spinks.
my dear. my dear" she chortled
at Emmeline. "you ought never take
a new baby out with all that covering
on it. Look how the poor thing is
sweating. Take of couple Of those
blankets"
4 4
n row, Mrs. Spinks is nice. She
~ loaned US q flatfron when we
moved into the block and had lost ours
en- route. She was only telling US for
our own good. The poor thing-as
she nonfckered our son-did seem to
be sweating. He always does, come
to think of it. So we took off two
of the blankets, smiled and thanked
our friend, and started along again.
We got four and a half steps without
Interference Then Mrs. McNoodle. who
IN
all about kids, swooped down on US.
leaving tbs three youngest McNoodles
squalling on the porch.
"What 4 sweet baby" She tactful,
is Mrs. MoNoodle. "Googly. googly goo !;
pschus ittul wascal," she effervesces.
isn't he the cutest thing7' everybody
calls him ''thing.") But he's shiver-
ing with cold. Why don't you wrap
him up better? Haven't you any more
blankets than that yet. my dear? I'll
lend you one, IL you wish. But keep
that dear child warm"
Now what could we do? When we
needed Q hot-water bottle q couple Of
months ago, at tho time when Emme-
lines sister had indigestion, wasn't It
Mrs. McNoodle who came across with
the goods and who offered to stay all
night to take care Of my sister-in-law?
My wife has always said that shes .
dear, good nsishbor. We have always
thought 20 much of her! Well, we
glanced around covertly to sec IL Mrs.
Spinks was in the sentry tower.
stsalthily rswrapped Oscar and made .
gracious getaway.
We got ten steps or 50 farther.
Everything serene. when out pops the
stout Mrs. Glutt with F7ufnkins in her
arms. Flunkins 10 a doE-a fat,
squirmy, woolly beasue. Mrs. Glutt
was the first one on the block to send
Oscar Q present She had . little nain-
sook dress In the house three days after
he arrived.
"And how Is little oscar?" gursles
phs, strukinE E1umkins with one hand
and Oscars blanket with tho other.
Oscar gave one look at her and