davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star., 1922-08-27
CONTINUED from Third Page.l

why" says I. cit sounded like
some one shutting door upstairs"
"But nobody's up there except that
old lady" says she.
"oh, WELL" says I. at might have
been the wind"
you gonna let them two stay all
night?" asks Inez.
Il don't think they want to stay"
says I. "see. the rain is letting up.
and 1 expect they'll be making for
Springfield soon." ~
k% + X
CURE enough, in less than five
~ minutes the old lady comes down
stairs and lets me pilot her out to the
barn again. The rector chap thankA
me grateful, loads her in and opens
the barn doors. AS he's about to
back out the machine he adds:
"You don't know how much you've
done for us, Miss Dodge-the cookies
and everything"
ooh, you're welcome" says I.
'If you don't MIND" says he, IT.
er-I've left little present for you
in the corner Of that left-hand hay.
now But I'm going to ask you not
to open It until tomorrow"
'Tf can keep my curiosity down
that long" says I. 'tMany thanks
and good luck"
I noticed. though, that Instead OF
driving on toward Brattleboro he
took ths Kssns ,r6ad. Ines com.
mentsd On the fact too.
'Thas's funny" says she
.But You can get to apriug6elt
Evening star., 1922-08-27
Music.Charmed Water.

INTERESTING experiments showing
the influence of tuning fork on
Jets of water were made some time
ago at the Royal College of Science.
A jet of falling water consists or
dinarily of two parts-a clear column
and a trouble portion. When the
troubled part is photographed. with
the aid of the electric spark, It is
seen to be composed Of q succession
of drops following one another too
rapidly to be separately seen by the
eye. These drops are irregular I'm
size, shape and distance from one
another, but IL vibrating tuning
fork be placed in contact with the
stand from which the jet starts the
drops fall into order with beautiful
precision, a drop being cast or with
each vibration. Many remarkable
effects can, 1t. is said. be- thus pro-
duced., A continupus Jet may be
thrown into = form Nike that Of .
Vibrating string. xss.s
Evening star., 1922-08-27

of punch Hans and Fritz had pre-
ceded him to 1t, however. and were
dropping numerous fuzzy caterpillars
into the punch bowl. mainly for the
refreshment of their parents. Adam
son, however, did not approve this
procedure, so without so much as a
word of warning he pussy-footed up
behind them. seized each little devil
by the seat of the pants. and, head
ing for the fence at the foot OF the
lawn, dropped them over. They land
ed on the head of Smatter Pop, who
was portraying THE Thrill That
Comes Once in . Lifetime" for his
small charge. Old Timer.
"Mdear." remarked Clarice to her
understood spouse. who was standing
in the immediate vicinity Of the re-
freshment booth downing his sixth
plate of ice cream, "go right over
and get acquainted with Sir Sidney.
He's always several pages away from
| us every evening, but II We could
have him for dinner, just think what
! an effect it would have on the Joneses."
why. Clarice. OIL gal, don't think
thatd mean such a lot, for he asso-
ciates often with Mutt and Jeff. and
you know they are just ordinary fel-
| lows like me-
"Aloysius P McGinnis. you do as 1
say Immediately or I'll give you a
| piece of my mind"
Now, m dove, you know you can't
spare it, twinkled Pa, moving on.
however. in the direction indicated.
| AS Teddy Bear and Laddie Boy
watched the guests the former re-
marked: Whatever their faults.
you've got to hand 1t to the funny
bunch for being the most moral crowd
of people in existence. Mutt and his
wife. Aloysius and Clarice. Joe and
vi, Capt. and Mrs. Katsenjammer.
S'matter and Mrs. Pop and the Newly
weds have been married for decades.
and never a single divorce in the
whole lot of them"
Evening star., 1922-08-27

mad been trained in the best arts of
The old Imperial Ballet School of Pc
trograd, an exquisite ballerina, fit for
The most important stages of Paris,
London or New York. But she was
dancing in this shabby variety thea
ter Of Milan. where the admissions
ran from 4 to lire GEO to As cents).
when she had done, to a din of ap-
plause, 1t seemed necessary to seek
an explanation.
In the basement Of the theater, at
the foot of a fight Of ornate stairs.
was a dance hall, and here, at a table.
1 sat with the ballerina and listened
TO her story. She was pretty, with the
round face, short nose and dark. Mon
roI eyes of the Russian. She spoke
with whimsical gayety, stopping at
times to watch the parade on the
dance floor.
If the cricket game was esteemed
because t was very English. the
dance hall was esteemed because 1t
was very American. It was noisy
with jaxs musc-quite mechanical
ana without that perversion Of rhythm
that makes American jazz so alluring
to the anti-musical. The romantic
who leaves America for classical Italy
to escape American jazz, finds jazz at
its worst in that classical italy. But
the italians really don't take to it.
They merely Affect to. Their attempt
to reproduce the coarse abandon of
tho American dance IL made stilted
nd tame by their own restraint and
diitasas for It Extraordinary were
thk male dancing parties They com-
biAs he American lounge lizard with
81 traAstieaal Italian dancing master
Evening star., 1922-08-27

I went to some relatives who lived
down in a town near Crimea. could
20 if 1 had an official permission.
Instantly he went to the writing table
and scribbled out a pass for me. Then
I said 1 wanted to sleep, and with more
tears of apology he departed.
early the next morning my little
boy and I took the train for Crimea'
The pass enabled US to travel without
any trouble. After a week Of wandering
near the lines we got through to the
anti-bolshevik army. Then to France,
as a refugee, where met Pavlowa, and
was engaged for her American tour"
She finished with the smile Of one who
has suffered much, but still Is brave,
and I marveled. Stealing cakes from
the bolsheviks for the baby-there was
human interest for you.
Ibid YOU tell that to the press agent
in America. or to the reporters
She stared in astonishment.
mo, l never thought OF 1t. She re-
piled. This was the divine simplicity.
Evening star., 1922-08-27

Z me jes' tn other day that a man
is an established social success from
tn moment he fust shakes a rattle"
Laddie Boys eye roamed along the
oncoming line Of guests and suddenly
he emitted a yelp of dismay. See
here, Teddy Bear, who is that Kat
coming in? You know I draw the
line on cats, even II I am holding
down a public ONCE
"Oh, that's Krazy Kat. Laddie.
She's different from ordinary cats. I
thought you wouldn't mind II I in
vited few OF those who used to be
on The Stars pay roll, but were
honorably discharged. Otherwise, this
reception would be so dog-goned ex-
elusive"
"Golly, ain't 1t warm" mewed
Krazy Kat, purringly. as she passed
Laddie Boy, whose short fur was
standing nervously on end.
you know. poor Krazy Kat has the
rodent complex in its worst form" "
explained Teddy Bear. 'She's been
crazy over Ignatz for years. and all
he ever does is bounce a brick off her
beam"
who's the detected looking purp
coming with his tail between his
legs?" asked Laddie Boy.
"Oh, that 'Lifes Darkest Moment"
Teddy Bear said. HE has very little
to make him happy"
Poor thing; I'll let him dig up one
of the bones 1 buried. I get lots
from the state dinners"
"'Pon my word. Laddie Boy. here is
Mrs. Newlywed" exclaimed Teddy
Bear 'And can this be Snookums?"
"Yes," she smiled, regarding her
homely one-toothed child with adora-
ton, this is my little darling"
How young he looks! supposed
he would be quite big boy by now"
''well, the dear Child passed his
twenty-frst birthday yesterday. but
as I couldn't bear to have him grow
Evening star., 1922-08-27

chastity red blotch was. feit no
no;n hut instead a sticky feeling on
NV fingers. For a moment was
hank. Then I realized. coulo leei
the crushed fragments OF the cakes
that I had thrust into my bosom.
Thav had been filled with thin, req
M, and now were broken. the
h1ood like jelly had stained my waist.
".. 7 sat in the daze of the mo-
msnt. the commissar. in q dehr'un'
of horror and drunkenness shooA
with a violent cry.
".1 have killed her. he yelled.
"ue turged violently at his pocket
,,,,,.a o,t another revolver, as though
to turn 1t on himself. His companions
,s,,ed him. He struggled wildly, the
somber despair Of a Russian IN MS race.
while several of the drunken men triea
"a aid me, 1, more terrified than ever
.,renrhed free and ran out OF the room.
m a moment 1 was out>>in the street
and lost in the darkness.
~ went to the little house where
lived and got into bed, trying vainiy
70 sjeep. Two hours later the COM
rn,s.ar came to the house. Was !
Ithere? Yes, was. the old nurse re-
nlied. He was full Of emotion from the
cbampagne and the native Russian
tamperarnent. He sat down and burst
into tears. He was so happy that ]
was alive? Was seriously wounded
Utterly bewildered, could only shake
nv head. More sentimental than ever,
Ihe went for having been 30 careless with
his revolver. What could he do for me?
Nv this time I could ses possibilities In
the situation. I pretended pain and
Illness, and replied that tho doctor had
said that wasn't badly hurt but that
Ii must. 90 away to recover from my
wound II would be best. 4 thouSht Y
Evening star., 1922-08-27

the big bum won't be able to do a
stroke of work for a week"
Next in line came Aloysius P. Nc
Ginnis. at the head Of his family, like
a bantam rooster leading flock OF
Plymouth Rocks.
"Ah, Mr.. McGinnis." barked Laddie
Boy, you and Jeft and our good
friend Adamson, whom see just fol-
lowing your Kitchen Queen. Bella
Donna, may be small in size, but
you're big in importance"
"Tha's So" agreed Pa. "and what
lack in size clarice supplies"
ETHELBERT sIMPKINS was SC
IL busy looking behind him at Betty
and her beau. Lester De Poster, that
he missed the receiving line alto
gether.
Mr.. and Mrs. ohaperoning their
efrervescent niece Gussie and her ad-
mirer, were engaged In quite an ar
gument.
"Oh, joe" said Mrs. II do hope that
Love is blind. as it's reputed to be,
for II wallie should get an eyeful
Of the good looking girls here this
afternoon he might break Gussie's
heart"
Don't worry yourself. VII" retorted
Mr.. "Gussie's seven million bucks
add a great deal to her appearance
You mercenary brute!" Kissed his
wife.
Mama love papa?" inquired their
young hopeful. again endeavoring to
satisfy his curiosity regarding this
point which has long puzzled him.
Look. Laddie Boy" said Radio
Ralf. "Ive brought my set with me-
and II your reception gets poky I'll
let the bunch listen in on q lecture on
Our Boyhood Ambitions"
"A boy don't have t have ambi-
tions nowadays" said Abe Martin
Miss Fawn Lippincutt was remarkin
Evening star., 1922-08-27

, either way" says I. What I'm won
dering about is that present he left
A Bible. suppose. or maybe . prayer
book"
About that time Uncle Nels and
Barry showed UP, wet and hungry
and with no brook trout, as usual
But they're real fishermen. those two.
They said they'd had great days
sport. And it was when I dashed up
to my room to get ready for supper
that I made this discovery.
"Say, Inez" I called out Come
in here moment. Look. what our
nice old lady left on my dressing
| table,"
"Eh?" says Inez, gawping.
Looks like q safety raxor blade.
doesn't it?' says /. And here's shaw
| ing paper in the waste basket! And
cigarette stubs"
We stared at the basket and then
at each other.
Some sport, that old girl!" says I.
'"rhat Is, II she was She"
IT bet she want at ALL" says Ines.
SHAWN and smokin'l Didn't I say
she walks funny"
I had to admit that she did.
| "And the other one" goes on lnez.
Maybe he want any minister. Any
body cam get hat like that and but
ton his collar behind"
"True enough" says I. "But why
/ should he 60 around masduerading In
| that fashion? That is. unless
Well, there are times when I'm Z
BIZ stupid tn the head. but on the
other hsnd you must remember that
! he was fsher : smoot King party
Evening star., 1922-08-27
Scientific Exactness.

AN instance illustrating the exact
a methods now followed in all
branches of science is furnished by
the upsetting Of all the results OF
the seodetic survey OF Algeria based
upon the station Of voirol. which had
been chosen as the point of origin OF
co-ordinates 1t has been found that,
owing to some subterranean pecu-
liarity affecting the direction Of the
plumb-line, there is a strong devil
alton from the vertical at Voirol, and
as a result a new starting point for
the triangulation must be chosen and
new calculations made. The discov-
cry was made by comparing the
astronomical latitude Of the new OBJ
seryatory about three miles from
.voiross With III .seodetic latitude %
calculated from tns voiroi data
Evening star., 1922-08-27
Inez Collects a Thrill

Anyway, I finally got my hunch.
1.-The present he left." says I. Il
didn't actually promise not to look
at it until tomorrow, and just now
my curiosity is too much for. me.
Come on out to the barn and let's
have a peek"
What we found in a corner of the
haymow was rather a heavy package
done up In burlap.
THAT amt no prayer book" says
1nez.
'If it is" says /. ITS a gurgIy one.
Listen"
There was no mistaking the sound
that came from the package.
Scissors" says I. 81 must see
what 1t is that can gurgle so.'
81 **
WITH that we took the package
w into the living room and cut open
the burlap wrapping.
"wowey" says I. Two perfectly
good bottles of Scotch. with the Label
Of the Quebec liquor commission all
on 'em! How's that for a souvenir
from a minister. Inez?"
"Huhw says she. do you know
what 1 think, Trilby May? I bet then
two was the fellers the squire was
after"
"For once. Inez," says I. "I think
you're right"
"And that one dressed up like ar
old lady," she goes on, was just 8
little feiler that needed a shave
And-and he must have hid the doo,
open Iistenin' while the ofiicsrs wa.
down hsrs taflkin' to 40"
sherlock had nothing on you
Evening star., 1922-08-27

come. but all the little folks. too, and
then they could get home and to bed
at their regular early hours.
Some minutes before the time set
the funny folks began to arrive and
form in line to greet their host.
When 3 o'clock came a whistle from
Reg'lar Feller told them things were
starting Laddie Boy stood under
the big tree not far from the back
porch while Teddy Bear made the in
Productions, not that they were abso-
lutely necessary, as Laddie knew
them all at sight. but that was the
way Teddy had seen it done there
before.
At the head Of the line was-can
you guess?-A. Mutt, esq, who hadn't
had a bite to eat in three days and
thought that the sooner he got there
the quicker he'd be served to refresh
ments.
'IIl put one over on Jeff this time"
he thought to himself as he shook
Laddie Boys soft, fuzzy paw and was
passed along
"why, hello, Mutt" said the person
standing next to Laddie boy, whom
Mutt recognized as his small running
mate.
You little shrimp. how did you get
here?"
"Oh. I've known Laddie Boy ever
since played golf with the President
some weeks past" replied jeff, "and I
promised to help see that everything
went off smoothly this afternoon.
But move along, Mutt; you're block
ing progress"
Mutt collapsed in a heap. while
shooting Stars were seen flying in
all directions, and faithful Joe Spivis
and Sir Sidney stepped out OF limo
and bore him off to the refreshment
booth.
"You gotta hand it to pop; he gets
there every time" remarked little
Cicero Mutt.
eyes" his mother replied, land now
Evening star., 1922-08-27

up and leave me he promised that
he would always remain my beautiful
baby boy"
"Ah. 1 see." hazarded Teddy Bear,
"a sort of perennial infant"
Here's two more who have drunk
deeply Of the elixir of youth" and
he presented Hans and Fritz. the
roguish little sons of Der Captain and
Mrs. Katzenjammer. When I vas
nothing but a cub these kids had
been going strong for a quarter of a
century"
HANS and Fritz lived up to their
- reputation for mischief by head
ing straight for the punch bowl. but
stopped to admire Betty. The Stars
champion flapper, who was extremely
easy to look at as she strolled languidly
on the smooth expanse Of lawn at the
east front of the White House. where
Simp Foney's orchestra was rending
the air with original improvisations.
She was not far in advance Of the
ever.ardent Lester De Poster, whose
four eyes simultaneously spotted Ju-
lie McGinnis as the aforementioned
tack flies to the proverbial magnet.
Gee, Here's a wonderful chance
to make Betty jealous" he thought
to himself, looping across the lawn
and colliding with Bella Donna, re-
splendent in a henna waist, periwin-
kle skirt and beige-colored shoes and
stockings.
Don't you-all construct ma pas
sage. po' white trash" she expostu-
lated; Use de only cullud pusson
heah an is hencefo'th in a class by
ma'self"
So by the time he got within hail
ing distance Of the fair Julie she had
already annexed several fresh young
blades-Joe Spivis, Sir Sidney, jeff
and Adamson.
"Just my luck" he murmured, de-
Gliding to drown his sorrows in a glass
Evening star., 1922-08-27

more and more fantastic. Dessert ap-
peared--a great platter heaped with
the most delicious looking cakes. 1
tremb1ed with desire when saw
them. How I could imagine my little
boy munching those beautiful cakes!
1t was set near me and, taking ad-
vantage Of the prevailing madness, 1
snatched one at every opportunity. 1
did not eat any, but filled my hand
bag and stuffed several cakes into nv
bosom. That done I felt triumphant
and happy.
+ *,+
ohIOW the feast became q mad rev.
elry. The commissar from
Moscow led the riot. Presently he
was shouting and throwing glass
ware against the wall. He drew his
revolver and began to shoot at the
ceiling and windows, while the 9TH
ers yelled and cheered. In this hideous
pandemonium I grow frantic. Each
pistol shot made me scream with ter
ror. tried to get out Of my chair
and run away, but two laughing men
held me.s I sank back, weak and Ill.
Then I saw the commissar standing
still and silent. He was staring at
me with . horriasd case.
"What have done?' he beloved.
"The others grew still I was the
center Of all eyes. I saw that they
were staring at my bosom. I looked
down. On the white front Of my dress
. giarins stain Of rsd-As II Of blood.
I grew faint I was wounded.
would diA TAsrO would bs nobody
to caro- for my little boy In terror
! clutehs6 ~ my bosom where The
Evening star., 1922-08-27
BY PROSPER BURANELLI.

TT was at one of those curious
vaudeville houses of Milan that
I found the dancer, Maria Ole
neva.
The spacious lobby of the theater
was enlivened by game of Cricket
ball." a mode of gambling that is one
of the recent narvels of Italy. In a
corner an inclined plane. six or seven
feet long. led to a level platform on
which were a dozen or so Of trans
verse, numbered grooves. A man
with a hockey stick was stationed at
the bottom, and he "golfed" a cricket
ball up the inclined plane onto the
grooved platform. score Of vastly
excited Milanese stood alongside and
laid bets on which groove the ball
would fall in. This game is consid-
cred English and sporty. 1ndubita-
bly, 1t is very profitable to the i'm
presario of the theater and provides
the richest part of his revenues. The
arts of the theater were, in fact. sub
ordinate to the operation of the
cricket ball game.
The vaudeville began with sue
Cession of four or five what are
known as "divas." a sort of cross be-
tween chorus girls and music hall
singers They chanted their ballads
of love and Irritation. moving scarce
ly a step. but with many gestures and
arm wavings. The interesting thing
was the audience, which talked,
shouted greetings across the audi
torium, and read newspapers (the
lights were kept on), giving neither
attention nor applause to the 'divas."
In a box a bald-headed. bearded man
sat with his back to the stage and
'absorbedly read the "Corriere della
Sera." He did not turn his face, nor
did any Of the audience attend, until
the jugglers and acrobats came on.
Then there was enthusiasm.
Jugglery, acrobatics and ventrilo-
auism-these antiquities enchanted
the Milanese audience. especially
when a girl on the darkened stage
kept four lighted torches flying
through the air. All the while a bad
orchestra discoursed pretty melodies.
1t was very garish, and very crude,
for vaudeville has not much reputa-
tion in Italy. Then in the midst Of
this sorry performance came a reve-
lation.
4 4 X y
THE orchestra stumbled into Saint
Saens' "Le Cygne," and a danseuse
was on the stage. La bella Russa,"
a man in the audience exclaimed. La
bella Russa," half a dozen others re-
peated. There was silence and i'm
mobility In the restless crowd. while
the dancer skipped and swayed to the
lyric tune. 1t was to be seen that she
Evening star., 1922-08-27

who recelve invitations
bearing the official seal or to the
Man Who Walks Across the Conti-
nent-in-Six-Days. dropping in on his
way home to shake the presidential
hand.
Laddie Boy gave one just the other
ago and received a cake and so many
callers he had the time Of his life.
So, deciding that good things ought
to go in pairs. he planned to have
another reception all his very own.
He wrote to Teddy Bear, one OF his
warmest friends, who has worked on
The Star for fifteen years, and con-
sequently is we'll acquainted with all
the funny folks who jazz up the
otherwise dignified pages Of The
Evening and Sunday Star. Laddie
Boy, like men in public life, believes
in making his friendships broad and
doesn't limit his pals to the canine
element He planned to meet per-
sonally all these humorists who had
given him 50 much pleasure.
Teddy Bear welcomed the plan with
ENTHUSIASM, even offered to be an
nouncer for the receiving line. and
everything was set like jelly for
the appointed hour.
X X 4 X
s this was the first garden party
"A Of its kind ever held on the White
House lawn much interest was shown
in the affair. Even the weather man
decided to make the day as perfect as
he could, SO he had the sun shining
its brightest and called breeze from
the south to blow gently now and
then that it might not be too hot
because of the receptions early hours
Laddie Boy had his invitations for the
lawn party read from three to five
=, not on1y the srown-ups could
Evening star., 1922-08-27

Inez," says I. "And yet you were
complaining that nothing ever hap.
pens up here,
Huh" says she. You thought
they was all right. You said they
might be"
'T remember. 1nez." breaks in.
''Didn't I suggest that we might be
entertaining rum runners unawares?
Anyway, 1t seems we did"
Copyright, 1912, by Sewell Ford.)
Evening star., 1922-08-27
BY FLORENCE 8. BERGMAN.

w y HITE HOUSE receptions
n aren't limited to the Fav-
wv ored Comparatively Few
w who receive invitations
The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1922-05-05
PACE TOO QUICK FOR HIM

Just before the big snow started the
lion tanner and the dog trainer Were
seated In the dressing tent conversing
about their respective acts.
slows that new dog YOU bought
last month coming along?" inquired
the lion tanner.
"He's learning fast and win make a
good performer II ! can ever get him
accustomed to this jumping from town
TO town." replied the other. sits 60
ing to be some Job, though. Why, the
day we showed In Kansas City he burr
ed bone beside the center pole, and
he tried 10 dig II up in Topeka the next
dayn-Ct o,tis TSmax