davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1922-12-19
humorous department.

Just Like That.-Mr. George Robey,
the English actor and racOnteur, tells
the story of a gilded youth of effemin-
ate tendencies who by some fiuke Of
luck found himself stony broke. De-
Gliding that his best bet was America,
he tried for job on one of the boats
crossing the Atlantic. After being
turned down by ship after ship he al
most despaired of ever getting out Of
England. Finally his luck changed
He struck boat on the point of sail
ing and found that stQker had failed
to show up. Joyfully, he signed on,
went aboard, and was directed below
by the captain. Then he disc ppeared.
Nothing was seen or heard of him for
three days. But on the fourth day the
skipper suddenly came upon resplen-
dent figure in full yaching kit, glasses
slung over his shoulder, promenading.
What the hell are you doing here?"
he demanded. ~ thought I told you
to go below" The regi!ded youth
gazed at the irate officer, tapped him
lightly on the shoulder, and pleasant
ly inquired, "Oh, haven't you heard?
I've left."-The Argonaut (San Fran
cisco).
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1922-12-19
The Minister and
the "Wamp"
BY Mary Graham Bonner
s5ssPIsHss's'EIaEIassI

NOV the minister was young and
~ enthusiastic and eager. He loved
his work, he loved the parish. He loved
the people. They were bit too talk
ative at times. They did enjoy telling
| him just how he should preach and
act and think and do. But 1t was all
so we'll meaning that 1t failed to annoy
him. Sometimes when he might have
been annoyed he became amused. in-
stead. 1t was so much the better way.
The minister was extremely attrac-
tive. Every woman in the parish knew
that. Every man admired the minis
ter, too. His was a most engaging
personality.
But things became trifle awkward
when 1t appeared as though the min
lister could not talk to any one Of the
opposite sex for more than ten minutes
without arousing observations.
And how weary he did get Of being
told he mustn't take the last piece Of
cake in dish. 1t was so tiresome a
bit Of so-called witticism.
He realized that it might be difficult
for a minister to be permitted to
choose a wife for himself. He some
how had a new admiration for minis
ters who appeared to have done their
own matrimonial choosing.
He feared that one might even take
almost anyone to dodge the constant
comments and chatter on matrimony
which an unmarried man seemed to
encounter.
And then the minister fell in love J
Oh, madly and rapturously in love.
And with girl from out-of-town whom
people said was not the type for a
minister's wife, at all, at all. And the
minister had said he hadn't looked for
type, he had picked out the one he
had cared for.
He even heard people whispering
the word "vamp." "a yamp who had
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1922-12-19

"She wants a doll, but she thinks she
can't ask for it cause we haven't
money for dolls. 1 have, though,
he said promptly. I've been watching
a doll in Cne Of the windows here. I'm
going by tonight and get it,"
"What is your name, son?"
Jacques and my slster's-na
petite sOeur-Marthe."
"Zshack?-What a queer"
mo; it isn't" he said, anticipating
what she was going to say. "My
mother is French. Those names are
beautiful--to u.s." he added after q
pause.
"Where do you live, Jacques?"
"SiXty-nine Krnsington Square. TOP
floor, back. two rooms, Fve got that
down pat now, haven't II"
eyes, you won't get lost right soon,'
she replied as she p'it her arm around
him, and gave him gentle tap on the
shoulder. Merry Christmas, Jacques,
and she was on her way. She stopped
q little way down the street, however,
wrote something down, thIH hurried
on.
Another half hour found Jacques
hugging an orange and a little doll
under his coat as he trudged along
home. When he opened the door q
littla yOicp St1rtp1 chanting "Frprl
Jacques, Frere JaCques-youre late
tonight"
"Yes, Marthe. Today I was talk
ing to Santa on the corner, and he
said he was awfully busy. He
doubted If he would get all around
this year."
"Oh!" said Marthe in disappointed
tone. ..-..
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1922-12-19
His Mother Was Just as Excited as He

and no sewing was going to be left
over to bother her.
Marthe's bedtime came, and Jacques
fixed his presents in preparation for
the morrow. He had found Christ
mas tree branch in the street, and this
he made into little tree under which
he placed his gifts.
Christmas morning dawned brightly
in the little French home. jacques
surprise was complete, for Marthe
went into raptures over the tree and
her presents. She alternately hugged
and kissed her doll, keeping up con-
stant chatter to it in French. The
orange and few other presents that
she had found under the tree she put
on the shelf, so that she could admire
them while she rocked her doll.
Jacques had had, his surprise, too
"Glve and it shall be given unto YOU
for his two packets under the tree
had grown to be six or seven.
NhOlhSI, nc SuIu, lhiuh Nil
have to try my new mittens and see
exactly how warm they are" SO say
ing, he slipped into his coat and
pushed on the door. What allied 1t?
Was it frozen shut, stuck, or what was
the matter?
With his mothers help the door was
opened. To their surprise they found
that huge pile of packages had been
the cause of their trouble.
Jacques gave u cry OF delight
as he pounced upon the bundles.
His mothec was just as excited as
he, as she helped carry in the stuff.
Then followed one of the happiest
hours the family had ever known
whole two-dozen oranges and all sorts
Of wholesome food JACQUES mother
fairly wept with JOY.
Santa remembered us after all,
mother" said little Jacques, land he
left this note on one of my presents.
Look, mother, it says -
"T hope you will always be as
thoughtful Of your sister, Jacques A
Merry Christmas and a Bright and
Happy New Year.
SANTA CLAUS"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1922-12-19

H. T. f. Neuburger, acting post
master Of Spartanburg, was arrested
Saturday on a warrant charging him
with having made a false affidavit in
order to secure a registration certi-
ficate. Neuburger was appointed. act
ing postmaster upon the expiration Of
the term Of Postmaster Fike. The
warrant was issued on the affidavit of
j. Adam Crews, for many years an
cmp!oye of the office, and said to be
of Republican affiliation in politics. 1t
is alleged that at the time Neuberger
swore he was citizen of Spartan
burg he was in reality a citizen Of
Glen Falls, New York. Neubcrger
says that tie warrant was sworn out
for political purposes.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1922-12-19

ensnared him." someone said. He in.
uuired the various definitions Of the
word "yamp." He almost failed to be
amused; he became so angry. And
this was the joyous Christmas season
when love and good will should have
been in the hearts of his people!
A man told him "vamp" was dan
gerous delight.
A woman told him 'vamp" was q
woman without principle.
A young boy told him a "vamp" was
misunderstood, innocent lady with
sense enough to appreciate that men"
Of seventeen were not children.
An oculist tod him that 'vamp"
was an adept at the possible uses Of
the eye muscles.
An old man said q "vamp" was a
dear little girl.
And a mother told him 'vamp"
was a dangerous creature from whom
every mother should keep son as
from a deadly poison.
A young girl told him she envied a
"vamp" and wished she could be called
one.
And q father told him that a ''vamp"
was one from whom it is best to keep
away the son, but whose society it
was all right for an older man to en-
Joy.
He sought the dlctionary's version
and found "Vamp" described as deal
ing with such things as feet, short
hose, parts of boots and shoes, music,
and various other things.
They were making the Christmas
decorations for the church when the
minister came into the chapel and told
them all of his engagement.
"The wedding is to be on Christmas
eve," he said.
Everyone stopped winding ground
pine and looked amazed. They NUT
tered congratulations, and then the
future wife appeared and worked with
them.
And then they all began to feel bet.
ter. For while they had been gossip
ing and quarrelng pettily as they had
worked, the future wife Of the minis
ter brought with her the spirit of the
Christmas season. Perhaps she wasn't
a typical wife for a minister they con-
cluded, but she wus an ideal wife for
& minister.
For she lived and breathed good
will and cheer and her gaiety fresh
ened the very atmosphere OF the place
and gave them new incentive.
The minister called her his "vampw
His definition of one was:
"a Merry Christmas in real life!'
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1922-12-19

Long Distance.-A railway employe
was in the witness box, and was being
cross ss-examined by very self-import-
ant young lawyer about a case which
had resulted in a damage suit as a
consequence OF an accident on the
railroad.
you say that you saw this man fall
from the train?" said the lawyer.
'T saw him fall, yes" replied the
railway man.
"Yet it was night time" insisted the
lawyer. "And you were at one end OF
the train and the man was ct the
other. Do you expect an intelligent
jury to believe such a yarn? How far
can you see at night?"
about a million miles, think" re-
piled the railway man. 81 can see the
moon. How far is that?"
The lawyer retired.-Houston Post.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1922-12-19

ldentified.-A man called at a viii
lage post office for a registered letter
which he knew would be awaiting him.
The letter was there, but the clerk de-
INJURED at handing it over, as he had
no means of identifying the caller.
The caller took photograph OF him
self from his pocket, remarking:
81 think that ought to satisfy you
as to who l em."
The clerk looked long and earnestly
at the portrait, and then said:
"Yes, that's all right enough. Here's
YOUR letter."-Kansas City Star.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1922-12-19

Her Kind Heart.-The dear old
Scotchwoman tramped miles over the
hills to get a bottle of medicine for
a small boy who was i'll in her remote
village. When she had described the
symptoms, the doctor set about pre-
pairing the mixture, one ingredient Of
which a poison which could be admin
istered only in the smallest quanti-
ties. She watched him pouring it out
with the utmost care into the measur-
ing glass. He poured little from the
bottle, held the glass up to the light,
and then put in few more drops. "Ah.
DOCTOR" she said reproachfully you
medina be sac stingy Remember it's
for a puir wee orphan laddie."-The
Argonaut (San Francisco).
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1922-12-19

Ills luC6 NuS vi dN al Will lLS
cold and he beat his hands against
his sides to keep them warm.
Last-minute Christmas shoppers
hurrying along to get their various;
errards done, gave 10 thought to the
little fellow who pestered them with
his papers. He ought to have known
better when they had so many things
to think about.
"Yeh, all the news-the latest news
Won't cha buy one, mister? 1 only
have a couple more" He looked ur
pleadingly into the face Of a passer
by.
"Sorry, sonny" smiled the man.
"got one here now that l probably
won't ever get q chance to read-so
busy" and he hurried along his way.
The rush of pedestrians subSided o
moment. The boy singled out a young
woman, as he said, "She looks kind
I'll try her"
"Yeh-all the latest news-just out
won't cha buy one, please, lady!
1 only have few"
She opened her purse and started
to hunt for the money.
1--WE just got to sell these papers
out early tonight, cause it's my last
chance to buy that doll. You know,
my little sister, they say, isn't very
well, and the only thing she says she
wants is an orange for Christmas, but
know better" He paused for breath.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1922-12-19
Pure PoIitics.-"And whom did yor

Pure PoIitics.-"And whom did you
vote for, Miss Sophy?"
well, you see, the Conservative
candidate was simply stunningly good
looking. But the Liberal had always
been splendid to his family, so l mark
ed both ballots, closed my eyes, shuf-
fed them, put one in the box and tore
up the other. Nothing could be fairer
than that."-The Passing Show (Lon-
dom.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1922-12-19

Cruel Skeptic. - Magistrate Last
time you were here told you hoped
never to see you again"
Delinquent-"Yes, sir, | know, sir
but I couldn't get the constable to be-
lieve me,"-The Passing Show Non-
donJ.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1922-12-19

Superprohibition.-I hope that the
fact that the vets showed strength in
your State does not affect your belief
that prohibition needs enforcement"
1T needs more than that in some
unregenerate districts" replied Sena-
tor Sorghum. 1T needs reinforce
ment."-Nashville Evening Star
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1922-12-19
Tn. Awful Truth.-"You look fed

The Awful Truth.-"You look fed
UP, old man"
YES, I've had a firing day. That
little beast of an ofrice-boy of mine
came to me with the old gag about
getting off for his grandmother's fun
eral, so just to teach him lesson l
said I would accompany him."
"Ah, not so bad; was it a good
gamer"
"No, it was his grandmother's fun
eral!-The Passing Show Nondon).
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1922-12-19

Such is Man.-When he is born, his
mother gets the attention: at his mar
riage. the bride gets it; at his funeral,
the widow gets 1.-THE Associated
Editors.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1922-12-19

Qualified.-"What profession is your
boy Josh going to select?"
I'm going to educate him. to be a
lawyer" replied Farmer Corntossel.
He's naturally argumentativc an bent
on mixin' into other peoples troubles
an he might jes' as well get paid fur
his time. me."-Washington Evening Star.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1922-12-19

Harrison was reelected to his seat in
the November election and will resume
the place from which he has been
oustcd on March 4.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1922-12-19

photograph Wanamaker taken only few days be-
the merchant prince he appeared his
in eightyfour
July until his fatal illness active in managing his vast
establishments Philadelphia York city He in
Philadelphia German father aud French mother and the
begun there when he
old The first earned cents for
turning over row brickyard father owned
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1922-12-19
A Question of eeneaIogy.-Robert

A Question of GeneaIogy.-Robert
Stevens-"Tve a question to ask you. :"
Leo Besselman-"All right, shoot"
Robert-'If boy is lad, and the
lad has a stepfather-"
Leo deeply interested)-"Go on"
Robert (walking slowly away
"Does that make the lad a steplad-
der?"-The Christian Evangelist est.
Louis).
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1922-12-19

- Christmas turkeys are said to be
plentiful in Greenwood at 80 cents
pound.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1922-12-19

A contract has been let for the
erection of 100 cottages for operatives
at Lockhart mills.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1922-12-19
NIq11. VtSTtRN NEvSPAPER UNION

BLIZZARD was brewing
Little cutting pieces Of snow
were being blown in whirl.
around corners and dOwr
the street. Huddled dowr
in his coat stood Il newsboy
of some eight or nine years
Jic fona vraS drawn with the
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1922-02-25
Automobile Show
Draws Big Crowd
For Second Day

The second days crowd al Al
~buquerque's fifth annual automo-
bile show at the nrmory was much
larger than the first. and both
were record crowds. In former
years the second day has always
been better than the first. ana the
third day has been the best, 20
from all Indications today's
crowds should be better than
those Of yesterday.
The automobile displays have
been the scene OF lively interest
both days, and the programs have
an been unique and well received.
Maurice Kiein's entertaining com
pany furnished the program last
night. and this was followed by
dancing.
Those who took part In last
nights program are; Doris plneau.
dancer. HOrtcnse Switzer. So
pranO; Ruth Daughcrty. whistler,
Grace Stortz, Soprano Louis
Hosselden. basso; Frank barrow.
tenor. Mnsdamcs tnw. Mcdonald.
Thompson. and Gales. accom-
panied the singers az the piano
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1922-02-25
Auto Show Notes

II was announced at the Quickel
Motor company exhibits that a
drop In the prices OF the different
models Of the new Lincoln car OF
from $500 to $1,000. depending
on the model. has just been an
nounced In a schedule OF prices
Just received.
Joseph Myers II telling the
visitors TO his Franklin exhibits q
the record sales period he has just
had. lie has sold seven cars IN
the past six wcekr. three In Albu-
querquc, three going to Las Vegas.
and u In Gallup.
Guy Lauderbnugh says that lac
sold two Essex cars just before
the show opened.
Clyde Oden. In the Buick cor
nrr. claims that he could sell a
great many more Of the special
HiN-54 roadstera like the n on
exhibit II he was sure that he
oouid get delivery. The model. ID
seems, h proving popular where
ever It b. shown.
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1922-02-25
Harding Approves
Citizenship Day

AUSTIN TeNas. Feh %
president Harding's approval %
the movement inRugurated by the
General Federation Of Women's
clubs 10 make July 4 n Citizen
snip day u voiced In n letter
from him 20 Mrs Percy V Penny
hacker 81 Austin. chairman Of the
department ~ American citizen
shin nf tho federation
Tho movement was started lh7'
year and over 500 communities in
the United States held ceiebrationr
indicative of Amoricanlsm, Mrs
Pcnnyhacker said,
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1922-02-25
Night News
Summary

New Nork.-lower prices Tor
food and slight reductions In
clothing and fuel combined TO
bring cost Of living ga per cent
nearer normal during January,
national conference beard IN
nounced.
Milwnukco-Cut OF from the
world for two and half days Fox
River valley in northeastern WIS
conHin remains buried under snow
that defics biggest plows and IN
gines. Floods do damage In Iowa
towns. damage not yet estimnted.
belfast Party Of consiublcs of
Ulster bombed near lurran,
Three injured. Two arrests made.
London Firing upon several
members of Prince ~ wales party
while motoring from Delhi a.
puttialn. in puninh region India.
reported 10 London Times.
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1922-02-25

Vegetable Compound had done her
and begged me 70 try H. 20 did. All
ny pains and weakness are gene. my
tomach Is all right and | do my work
Il home and also work for Swift's
Packing Company, lreeSmmend your
Vegetable Compound 20 my friends
and you may publish my letter a. q
testimonial. - hrs. Lulu LUCAS
T19A Vandeventer ST., s. Louis, No
Again and again one woman tells
another Of the merit Of Lydia T.
pinkham's Vegetable Compound.
You who work must keep yourself
strong and well. You can't work II
you are suffering from such troubles.
Mrs. Lucas couldn't She tried u
Vegetable Compound and her letter
tells you what II did for her. Give
u 4 fair trial now.
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1922-02-25
e to Spray Now,
'.ounty Agent Says

= now the righg time Of
ar TO spray trees for San
ale Lee J. Reynolds. coun-
cultural agent, stated today.
vantagea OF spraying at
ne OF the year. he points
4 that the dormant spray
used before the leaves be-
come out. and the dormant
IRAN be- used with greater
IT, than 'he other sprays
erts from the state college
I'd there Is no difference in
! ectiveness 81 dry lime sui
Commercial concentrate and
. rly made home made mix
4 care Il taken TO get Il the
n rength" he said, The
should he from 40 90 50
Id sulphur The process for
the mixture should he 10
OF dry lime sulphur TO so
AZ water. The mixture
N H. aglta'nd occasionally
IelAg used. 20 keep II mix
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1922-02-25
Albuquerque Man
Gets High Office
In Science Group

II H. Chapman. formerly Of Al
b%uquerque, has been elected vice
president OF the Society Of Amer
lean f'oresiers at the annual meet.
INK held recently at Toronto, can.
ada, according to word which was
received at the district o-.ice Of
the forest service here today.
Chapman was assistant district
forester here until two years ago.
when he left to take n chair at
Yale l~niverEity Since that time
he has been teaching forestry
there, and II living NJ New Haven.
Conn. The society II made up
largely Of scientific men Interested
In the forests Of America.
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1922-02-25
RESERVOIR WORK
TO Be STARTED
At CUbEO SOON
orce of SO Men to Be-
gin Repairing Of
Claycore Dam
Especial 90 The ucraIdD

|CuBERO. n. NJ, Feb. 25-As
IL result Of tho organization OF
|rmers recently formed at Gu
no under the leadership OF
unity Agent n. 4 Conroy. work
10 be started on the big reser-
M the first OF the week, prob
|ly Tuesday.
with a force Of so men tho
merH are TO work on the Clay
70 dam, raising and cnlearglng
and later riprapping the water
face with rock. Each yeai the
mers plan 20 work TO extend
raise the dyke 10 Increase the
rage capacity for Irrigation.
sarmers nj Cuhero at present
q fpore than 5000 acres Of eX-
end agricultural ground possi-
for Irrigation II sufficient va
and storage could he secured.
ording to the county agent.
70 exact data has ever been
u on the run of OF flood wa
Of the arroyas and Streams
h can be diverted into the reser-
but the general opinion of
old residents n tina, enough
er can he stored, for 100 acres,
possibly enough for 1900 in
faRo years When the dam u
ndcd and raised to 20 feet In
Eh' II will have an excellent
natural spillway. and no dan
from floods In the mountains
bis work is purely "A commu-
project and the majcr one.
county agent says. and Is To-
tn within tho Cubero land
Id. all lands being owned by
Mfiduals Of community inter-
iree community meetings were
III recently by the county agent
Miss Mary u. Richardson,
leader 81 home demonstra-
agents In New Mexico. Work
outlined for farm women and
b.. Miss Richardson's dem
Faiions consistcdn Of paper
tmaking, pattern adjusting,
Il, feeding a balanced ration.
'nery and home Identification.
was Intended to carry this
OF work along this yenr In
iame four communities which
tved u last year. but on ac-
OF the influenza at enc COM
fty the doctor advised aEaiHs'
lblic meeting This commu-
Twill be organized later After
Filing four days in Valencia
Nh Miss Richardson went to
nieg county, and next TO San
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1922-02-25
Clovis Five Loses
To Duke City Highs

The High school basketball
tosserH Of Albuquerque won a vic
tory from the Clovis High school
'oam a. Clovis last night. accord
ing 10 word received here The
final score q p TO 10
The game was hard fought un-
10 the final whistle The score
was to ! at the end OF the FRS.
half II was the second game Of
the Duke cry players since hey
started their trip south
The evening herald. [volume] (Albuquerque, New Mexico) 1914-1922, 1922-02-25
S~heepherder Fined
For Fire on Forest

The second forest fire OF the
year has been reported TO the ais
trict office Of the forest service
here from tho Dntil national for
est. near the town Of Datii The
report 90 this fire, which was re-
ceivei today states that 10 was
started by "a sheepherder who vas
signalling to HE owner where me
sheep were grazing
The fire occurred last Fricuy
and was put before II spread
to any great area The sheep her
der was arrested. confessed TO
starting the fire and was fined
SIS and costs.