The Washington times., 1922-12-03

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THE DUKE AND HIS WIFE
"A Tale Of High Life.)
BY BARTLETT PAIRE,
(Aged Twelve.)


up the duchess nose and made
her sneeze because she had q
very sencetive nose.
Goodness me-" cried the Ouch
ess. as she gave a last long
sniffle. "How strong is yonder
sun this evening. wonder where
my husband is who has been
away for twenty years more or
less"
The Duchess crost the room to
, pull down the shade. and just as
she was looking out Of the win
dow. she suddenly saw a man
walking up the steps far. far be-
low and wiping his shoes ON the
doormat.
Goodness mer' cried the Ouch
ess, a. she gave vent to an
alarmed look. "If It mistakes me
not, yonder person IL none other
than my long lost husband. the
Duke Of Bumbleberry."
With these remarks she pow
dered her nose and ran to greet
her husband. He approached her
full Of good cheer.
Il have not saw you for twenty
years." said the Duchess. Where
was you at all that timer"
"Ha. Ha," grimassed the Duke.
"Youl never know"
(To be continuedo
A MES KENDRICK, our Book
Editor, whose real name Is
q professional secret. suggests
subscription ITO Correct English
(Advt) for a certain movie IF st.
usher who blandly announces:
1.-TWO seats together down In
the middle. one in front Of each
other"
THE dopiest man on earth was
talking to worst abuser OF
French.
Quoth the latter. what do you
think of Georges ClemenceauT"
And the one in the brown derby
answered him. saying. well. i
think the parents ought not to
have given their two sons the
same name"
TITLE bumps Of ivory
Just above the neck
Make the car collision
And the fatal wreck.
pHILOSOPHERS generally
agree that little or no harms
can como from adults with child
ish hearts. II this be true, there
10 still hope for Congress. as the
boys haven't ever stopped playing
with blocs.
NEWS NOTE: The Interna.
tional Association Of Joke
and Pun Manufacturers has regis
tered vigorous protest against
; changing the name Of the fowl
! known az turkey, in view Of pres
ent international complications.
HE was only a poor little
match boy. He stood by the
big facade Of a department store,
weakly crying his wares.
Along the street came a Benev-
olent Old Gentleman. chewing an
unlighted cigar. He stopped In
front Of the little chap, whose
face was pinched and slightly
mauve with cold.
The Benevolent Old Gentleman
felt in his pockets, but found no
matches.
my son." he addressed the
shivering ragged lad. "1'n buy
some matches from you"
Thank you, SIR" chartered the
youngster.
But, I find" said the prospec-
tive patron. running through his
pockets. II find that have moth
ing less than a 500 bill. What
shall do?"
HE smiled at the wistful little
face, and q wave af kindness
swept his being. He had decided.
in his mind. to give the poor
little boy the 800 bill for his
consumptive mother and his raw
enously hungry little sisters and
brothers. for these. as you know.
are necessities Of every starving
match boy.
tt wish I had the ch-change.
Mister" said the young merchant.
with a horrible shiver, "but I
I've only got a twenty and . lot
of hun.hundreds myselfr'
THERE IL q young man With
q tragic face locked UP IN
Cell Thirteen. He was removed
from society because he was q
mental menace to the community.