davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1922-11-12
n Kiss HELEN OF TROY

X Kiss HELEN OF TROY
N got her reputation for Al
beauty before the camera
was invented-which is perhaps
just as we'll. Otherwise her fame
as a complete and unabridged
beauty might have sprung few
leaks as it logged down the ages.
Casting an eye over the soci-
ETY. pages of a newspaper, it's a
question whether she would have
survived the modern method.
These photographs wouldn't flat
ter Cleopatra right after she
merged from the bath, with her
complexion touched up by the
royal Egyptian masseuse.
An otherwise lovely member
of the Four Hundred looks as II
she had forgotten to put her hair
In kid curriers' the night before
her million-dollar debut.
When you see Mrs. de Puyster
getting into her = limousine on
Park Avenue, you think Of a
shoplifter getting into the wagon
on Fourteenth Street, and when
you observe Mrs. van Cheesen-
worth lolling on the sands at
Palm Beach, you wonder how
The Washington times., 1922-11-12
Give Us More
DictatOrs

|ENSORING the movies is e
beautiful idea. In the frs
place, it's an ingenious oc-
cupation for those of sedentar!
habits. The hours are not long
and, except for occasional eye
strain, the dangers are not nj
merous. Besides, the job pro
vides a lot of people who migi
otherwise miss some good pie
lures a chance to see them on
salary.
But why pick on the movies?
Numerous other industries are
Just as much in need Of censor
ing, and they get off scot free.
The necktie producers, to men
tion one of the most convenient
examples, are frequently guilty
of just as reprehensible actions
al any of those the movie pro-
ducers have put over.
Take the typical scarf de-
signed for gift purposes. Some
of the patterns are just as likel
to lead to crime and immorG
conduct as "Nellie, the SEWN.
Machine Girl" or "Fanchon, the
Flapper of Goshen's Gulch."
We have received neckties
our time which have made I.
feel like hunting the neares
rafter and ending it all.
1t would be great come-bac'
on the giver, if someone were to
. use a brand-new birthday neck
tie for hanging purposes. 1t
might put stop to promiscuous
scarf-baiting.
We are in favor of a censor
ship of necktie manufacturers.
Then think of the uncensoreI
production of chintzes, cretonne
and fancy burlaps for curtain
and slip-covers. A weak-minde
person can so to the movies, an,
even if the entertainment ISM
quite up, to Sunday school re
quirements, the chances are thai
he is half asleep, or holding
hands, or thinking about the
rent, and thereby escapes all
harm.
But put a weak-minded per-
son in room decorated with
cretonnes of orange and blacl,
and maroon, with a dash of in.
digo blue, and there's no chance
of his escaping-not a chintz IL
the world!
We are in favor of a censor
ship of chintz and cretonne man.
ufacture.
Also, we need more restraint
for bum piano players, campaign
hot-air, peroxide blondes, two
hour sermons, and book agents.
Verify, it's all right to censor the
movies-but why pick on the
movies?
The Washington times., 1922-11-12
How It Felt.

How 1t Felt.
DARBER-Razor all right, sir?
- Victim - My good man, if
you hadn't mentioned it, l should
never have known there was Q
razor on my face.
Barber-It's very kind of you
to say so, sir.
Victim-Not at all. / thought
you were using a file.
The Washington times., 1922-11-12
Taking a Chance.

Taking a Chance.
A LITTLE girl Of six sat look-
IA ing thoughtfully out Of the
window of her home the other
day. Her mother questioned her
as to the cause of her serious
ness.
"Oh," she replied, 'T was just
thinking that when l grow up to
be a big lady I'm goin' to get
married and have three children"
Her mother, although very
much surprised, was also amused.
"You will be very fortunate,
indeed" replied the fond parent.
The little miss grew silent and
thoughtful again. Finally she
said:
"But, of course, you can never
tell, mother. / might marry a
bachelor"
The Washington times., 1922-11-12
Their Only Hope.

Their Only Hope.
"MEN," she declared, contempt
"A uously, "are absolutely lack
ing in self-control, judgment, and
good TASTE"
POSSIBLY, my DEAR" he rs-
sponded. "But just think how
many spinsters there would bs II
they were notp'
The Washington times., 1922-11-12
A Few
Good Ones
Belligerent.

GAS a phrenologist," said the
"A pompous man, 81 could tell
you merely by feeling the bumps
on your head what kind of a man
you are"
81 think" replied the disillu-
stoned one, "you would be more
likely, by that method, to tell me
what kind of q woman my wife
is"
The Washington times., 1922-11-12

Fishy Record.
CIRST STENOGRAPHER (read-
L ing)-Think Of those Span
iards going 5000 miles on . gal
leon!
Second Sten6grapher -. Aw,
forget it. Yuh can't believe all
yuh hear about them foreign
cars.
What They Needed.
MoTHER-we must get a nurse
nA for the baby.
New Pop A nurse7 What
we need is a night watchRaan.
The Washington times., 1922-11-12
Popular Fall
Fiction

IfN ny wife's going to get
N along this Winter with
'~ her last years fur coat.
The Washington times., 1922-11-12
Not Guilty.

TRAVELLER-Your son threw
a stone at me.
Irishman-Did he hit youf
Traveller-No.
Irishman-Well, then, he was
not my boy.
The Washington times., 1922-12-22
:: :: !: g: q: Fiction P@de k&

Foster flushea and blt his lip.

Foster flushed and bit his lip.
Much obliged for the informa-
tion." he answered. but / knew
my way about this house long be-
fore you did. i fancy" The words
were spoken with an apparent
good temper, but the Fortune
Hunter knew the underlying sneeY
and his eyes cleaned.
Besides Foster went on. ''it
was Anne I wished to see."
The Fortune Hunter drew him.
self up stiffly. "f
II will give her a message II you
care to leave one"
For a moment the two men look
ed at each other steadily; then
Foster shrugged his shoulders
carelessly.
mo. thanks all the same" he
drawled. 1T win keep. I'll look
in At seme more convenient time.
Good dayr He nodded carelessly
and went off down the road again.
The Fortune Hunter turned back
into the garden.
He hated the fellow. hated his
superiority and yelled insolence.
II ever he got the chance to get
Ii. perhaps. things are not quite
that thought drearily. Such q
chance would never come. he knew.
"Hello, John! I've been looking
for you." said Mr.. Harding. at his
elbow. and the Fortune Honter
turned with start. p
WHY NOT MARRY
I'm sorry he answered. inco-
herently. "I'm waiting for Anne.
We're going on the river. It's like
. return Of summer today, isn't
1T"
TITS about Anne want to speak
to you" Mr.. Harding said. slowly.
His eyes never left the Fortune
The Washington times., 1922-12-22
WIFE NO. / MEETS WIFE NO. 2
And the Husband Tries to Take Matters Into His Own Hands
Only to Discover That He Has Made a Fine
tumble of Things

part she would learn her mistake.
He could hear the women going
from place to place talking and
laughing like intimate friends. He
laughed aloud when he thought
how queer they would both feel
when no other guests appeared.
He didn't mean to keep up the con-
versa.ion af the table; they could
fight IL out to the end.
When they finally returned to
the room whore he was waiting
for them, his wife glanced at the
clock and announced calmly that
their guests had failed to appre-
ciate the good things she had pre-
pared for them. that dinner would
be served at oncea She was not at
all disturbed nor his former wife
surprised. She merely said: II
should be furious II such q thing
happened to me. Mrs. Dick. Your
temper II not ~ quick - mine"
x never spend myself In need
less anger" Mabel said calmly. /.
II can't help say things when I
am annoyed" the former Mrs.
Dick said. Once Raymond asked
two college friends to dinner with
out my knowledge. certainly
scolded you. didn't I. Rayf"
you certainly did. and I never
had courage to repeat the offense."
he said dryly.
Ray Ii thoughtless about such
things" his wife acknowledged.
IT have been embarrassed q num-
Der Of times In much the Same
manner. However. Just give
them what'I have without a word
Of excuse let him apologize.
1t IL curing him, I find"
Both women laughed. and the
former Mrs. Dick said, IF had
been ~ wise as you should prob
ably be entertaining you instead of
being entertained"
Dinner passed pleasantly with
out the hosts assistance. Imme-
diately upon leaving the table the
women sat down beside each other,
seemingly unconscious Of his pres
ence. He wondered how many lies
they had already told each other.
He thought them both graceless
and meant to tell them 80 later.
He hadn't siven either of them
half the things Or attention they
said he had. and when the former
Mrs.. Dick said that he had always
been generous with his money. he
laughed outright and startled both
the women. who had really for.
gotten him.
Hal hal You are two Of the
The Washington times., 1922-12-22
Seeker Of Thrills Finds Himself
Mistaken for Another and Thereby
Becomes Enmeshed in q Maze
of Love and Mystery.

his heart. but he did not dare. He
could only think bitterly that she
was cleverer than he when. the next
morning she met him with Z gay
little smile and asked how they
should spend the day.
Tommy and Mr.. Harding were
both in the room, and the For
tune Hunter felt that they were
watching him. a. he answered
with an effort that he felt lazy,
and that the river would be the
best place. She laughed at that.
We've spoilt you since you
came home." she said. And II
you come on the river with me
you'll have to do all the work, I
promise YOU"
She chartered away all break
fast time but the Fortune Hunter
was not in the least deceived. She
had not forgiven him or forgotten!
In reality things were just as un-
happy and strained between them.
but for the sake Of what the
others In the house would think
she meant to play the game.
do you really want to 30 on
the river?" he asked her as soon
as they were alone, and she
looked up with raised brows a.
she answered:
do really want to go? How
ungallant. John! Why. of course
I do"
But before they could start q
heavy shower of rain came and
made 1t out OF the question.
How very unkind Of the wealth
err" Anne said as she stood look.
ing out Of the window on to the
dripping garden. But never
mind! Wen go for a walk in
stead"
When he protested that the rain
was too heavy she would not lis
ten. ITS good for the complex
ion. and l like getting wet. II
you're afraid to come. say So"
She looked at him with laughing
eyes.
But the Fortune Hunter could
not fall in with her mood: 1t made
her seem farther from him even
than yesterday, when she had
The Washington times., 1922-12-22

Hunters face, and there was a
steely coidness In them. shes
not looking 20 well as I should like
to see her. John! And I'm afraid
I've been wondering II. perhaps
If. perhaps, things are not quite
as satisfactory with you both as
they might be-"
He paused. but the young man
made no reply. and he went on.
still in that same careful sort Of
voice, as II he were feeling his
way:
"If there is anything I can do to
help you-either Of you-I hope
you will tell me. I want to see the
girl happy! want that more
than anything in the world. She's
as dear to me as II she were my
own daughter, and IL her happi-
ness lies with you--well. what is
there to wait fort Why not get
marriedT'
The Fortune Hunter had been
cleaning the stem Of his pipe with
a straw he had picked UP from the
flower bed. but he turned his head
slowly now. and for the first time
looked at Mr.. Harding. -
His mouth was set in a hard line,
and there was a furrow Of pain
between his handsome eyes.
Get married. he echoed stiff1y.
Yes" Mr.. Harding laid q hand
The Washington times., 1922-12-22

finest liars I have ever heard"
he said. IT never did or said half
the things you women credited
me with doing and saying. You.
my old-time wife, left me because
was mean and stinsy and would
not clothe you ~ well - other
women with rich husbandA II
were as good a. you two have
made me out. you would not
have dragged me into the divorce
court. I wonder why Mabel in
vited you. but my cunoustty to
know why you accepted - even
greater. But have taken mat
ters into my own hands! 1
'phoned to all the guests that my
wife had been taken suddenly IN"
"Ray" his wife sasped. ''oh.
oh! how shall I ever sxphinr
You do not need to explain;
when they ask after your health.
shah say that you are bettsr."
His former wife was laughing
heartily and he turned to her
and said coldly: your amusl
ment seems out Of place 10 ma"
MY sympathy-is vholly-with
your wife," she said between
bursts Of merriment. IT do not
see how she can explain"
You will kindly leave the mat
ter to U.S." he told her.
But. Ray" his wife said. IT
'phoned the guests not to come
because you had been taken sud
denly ill.,"
And I phoned to them not to
come because you both had been
called out of town." the former
Mrs. Dick Acknowledged. II
wanted to see II you were as close
with her az you had been with
me. The present Mrs. Dick has
more dry goods. but see you
have changed. very little in other
respects. Do not scold my sue
cessor. She naturally wanted me
to see that she was not Jealous
OF me. Both Of us have too good
taste to show Off before an au-
dience;. II you had kept out Of It
we would have arranged It with
out annoyance to anyons."'
Mrs. Dick turned to her de.
parting guest and said. Meet me
downtown some day and We'll
lunch together" III
ITS Comedy OF Errors'.~ she
replied. and they all laughed
The Washington times., 1922-12-22
By Evangeline Weir.

" HE women shook hands and
kissed each other, while the
- men looked on In astonish-
ment and misgiving at such q
doubtful greeting between his wife
and the woman who had divorced
him. His wife spoke first: 80
nice Of you to Join the little din
ner party I am giving. I thought
you might like to see the things
have added and the changes I
have made in the old house. I.
was very extravagant in me to
furnish this room anew, but Ray
mond is 30 indulgent that he in
sisted upon 1t when he found I
preferred a different color tone"
YES" her guest said. smiling.
Raymond once gave me a neck.
lace" bending closer and lookipg
at the pearls on the other. wom-
ans neck. "that was 20 expensive
that I scolded him for his ex.
travasance.
The wife fingered the pearls.
and said easily: These are rather
. fine. A wedding gift from an old
friend Of mine. He IL rich and
can afford It," ,
The husband sasped. He was
sure his former wife recognised
them by the diamond clasp. What
on earth possessed Mabel to ask
her to the dinner, and why did
she accept the invitation7 He
thought It poor taste in them
both. Surely women were queer.
creatures. 1t was no wonder men
could not live with them in peace
and understanding. He hoped the
other guests would be taken III.
meet with an accident or anything
to detain them.
He heard his former wife ask
to be shown the improvements
In the old house before the other
guests came. He looked at the
clock She had arrived half an
hour earlier than might have
been expected. He thought quick
ly and acted at once. There were
only five persons invited 10 dine
with them and he could reach
them before they started. He
took up the phone and told each
one that his wife was III and the
party was off.
Raymond Dick smiled grimly a.
he hung up the phone. He would
punish both the women for being
such fools. II Mabel thought she
was going to make such q dspar.
ture without any protest upon his
The Washington times., 1922-12-22

made her broken appeal that they
might start again.
II found your little note in my
room last night" be said with an
effort ~ they left the hopss. u
''oh. did your she spoke an
II the, matter were Of no Inn
portancs. ~'I thought 1t would be
bstter II We, had some sort Of
understanding. We might just
a. well pretend to be good friends.
don't you thinkf"
Don't talk like thatr' he said.
asitatedly,
why notf" She laughed . lit
tie. you take things far toe Sc
riously. you know"
you were serious yourself--yes-
tsrday," he reminded her painfully.
II know! But I've got, over 1t.
and I'm going to be ever 90 clever.
It win be much easier after a time
TOTO - a
Send me about my business. :"
he interrupted. as she paused.
II vas not going to say that.
We could-coms to some sort Of
arrangement"
Arrangement" he echoed the
word blankly.
Yes. After ALL" she broke out
vehemently. there must be some.
thing else In life besides-disap-
pointment! I seem to have had
very little else 90 FAR, They walk.
ed q little way In silence, then the
Fortune Hunter said. suddenly:
"Anns-when you knew I was
comins--back - were you - were
you honestly--glad?"
II think I was-more afraid
than anything" she said at last.
You see. uncle and everyone were
SO sure. first Of all. that you would
not come and then that II you did
should not care for you"
And you did-care for me?" he
said. rather hoarsely. She looked
up at him. with hard eyes.
Il cared for you 20 much" she
answered. that It seemed as IL I
had got everything in the world
wanted; but now--if l could tear
. every memory Of you out Of my
life and forget that we had ever
met, would do it-gladly!
hate suffering-I want to be
happy. / want" Then she
laughed lightly. But now we're
serious again. and I made up my
mind I would be serious no more.
Look! There's q rainbow! Isn't it
pretty over the water?"
Yes" But he hardly glanced
where she pointed.
There's Just one thing, Anne
The Washington times., 1922-12-22
CHARACTERS IN THE STORY

+ THE FORTUNE HUNTER-Youthfu tramp,
who appropriates the pocketbook and identity Of
John Smith, whose body he discovers in the woods.
ANNE-Beautiful heiress, who loves The For
tune Hunter believing him to be John Smith, ex
convict, who wooed and won her ten years before
the opening Of the story.
TOMMY-Ward Of Mr.. Harding, crippled boy,
whose life The Fortune Hunter saves, thereby
gaining entrance to the Harding household
DIR. HARDING-Uncle Of Anne, a shrewd
country gentleman.
FERNIE-A prying trouble maker, friendly to
Tommy. s4-,s
FOSTER-A rival for Anne's favor.
The Washington times., 1922-12-22
The Story of an Adventurer, Who,
Finding a Body in the Woods, Had
the Identity of the Dead Man
"Wished Upon" Him.

on his shoulder. You're neither
Of you So young that you don't
know your own minds. and I un.
defstood from Anne before you
came home that you would be
married almost Immediately"
He smiled family. II think she
even went 80 far as to tell me I
should not be consulted In the
matter" He paused and added
slowly. "she is very fond Of you,
Johnw
There was a tragic silence, and
1t was only with q great effort
that the Fortune Hunter at last
found his voice.
II will speak to Anne ar-I
will speak to her this morning,
and-and-see what she says"
His voice shook a little. but Mr..
Harding seemed not to notics. .
That's rightr' he said heartily.
"As soon as everything 10 com.
fortably settled for all Of us the
better. All! here she comes. Wen,
I hope you'll have . nice morn,
ing. The sunshine looks ~ II II
means to last"
He waved his hand to his niece
who was coming across the lawn
and turned away, leaving the Foi
tune Hunter to 30 and meet her.
ITO Be Continued TomogsoWl
The Washington times., 1922-12-22

had cleared and the sun shone
out again warm and bright.
Don't you think we might 90
on the river today?" Anne asked
restlessly. ''The house seems to
stifls me-"
"Just a. you like-I am ready
when you are" the Fortune Hun
ter said.
She gave a Sigh of relief.
''I1l just get my hat" She hur-
ried upstairs and he wandered
out into the. garden just as the
sate opened and Geoffry Foster
came in.
The Fortune Hunter changed
color little. but he went to meet
him coolly enough.
Good morning! Mr.. Harding IL
in the study II you are looking for
him."
The Washington times., 1922-12-22

said presently. and there was .
little nervous note in her voice
as she spoke. II think.-I am al
most sure-that Uncle Clem 10
going to ask you about--about
our wedding" She caught her
breath. IF he does promise me
please promise me-thst you
won't tell him-anything! Not
anything!"
els there anything to tell?" the
Fortune Hunter asked bitterly.
Their wedding! In his maddest
moments he had never allowed his
thoughts to 60 a. far n that. II
was a wild impossible dream
which would perhaps haunt his
lonely pillow in the future when
he wandered back again down the
road by which he had come into
this girls life. ia
The Washington times., 1922-12-22
CHAPTER XIV.

Anne Throws Away Her Rhgs.
Promise me-please promis'
me-that you won't tell him any
thing!'
Anne's words, with the curious
little tremble Of anxiety In them,
came back to the Fortune Hun
ter's memory several times during
the day and he wondered what ex.
actly she had meant.
What was there for him to tell
Mr.. Harding? What could ne have
told? Only that there would
never be wedding. Only that
he was a worthless vagabond.
going back whence he had come.
The following morning the rain
The Washington times., 1922-12-22
The Hairs on Our Head

zach har Of the head has muscle at its root Al
though few human beings control these muscles,
haired animals able to make their hair stand
end increasing their apparent size and soaring enemies
The Union daily times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1918-current, 1922-10-25
To Combat Gambling
Mania in Australia

Sydney, N. s. w., Oct. 24.-Several
aspects Of gambling have come before
the states Of the Australian Common
wealth and the New South Wales gov
ernment has outlined proposals to
combat the gambling mania, especial
ly promiscuous raffles and lotteries.
The new act calls for restrictions
of the Tattersalls Sweeps and the
Golden Casket, by which the Queens
land government obtains money for
the upkeep of its hospitals. 1t will
be made an offense for newspapers to
publish the result Of these sweeps
punishable by fine Of 200 pounds,
and the display upon any premises Of
any information regarding lottery
will be punishable by the sane SEN
tence.
The rev act will restrict the sale
Of tickets to the bazaar or fair with
which the lottery IL connected, and
provides that any person concerned in
a rattle or lottery who converts to his
The Union daily times. [volume] (Union, S.C.) 1918-current, 1922-10-25
A Good Beginnins

The Gipsy Smith, Jr. msetinu-l
the evangelist says they must not beI
called revivals until there u some evi.
dence Cf the revival spirit-started of |
well last night in the Park Extension.
The great tent was filed and ths|
crowd ovsrfiowed from Is to 20 deep
on all sides Of It.
The evangelist made a distinctly
good impression last night. His first
appearance was unquestionably sue
cessful and the power of mis- delivery
and aptness Of his illustrations were
such IS to win prompt attention and
ready response from those who heard
him. The term "Gipsy" does not At
the visitor, so far as his personal
appearance Is concerned. One does
not picture gypsy wearing horn
shelled glasses, white necktie, a
faultlessly fitting cutaway coat and
dark gray trousers.
The fact is that when Gypsy Smith.
Jr., gets before an audience for the
first time, those who see him are i'm
pressed by his business-like appear
ance. He looks like a we'll groomed
business or professional man in his
best clothes array.
He loses little time in preliminaries
when it comes to preaching a great
sermon. Or, at last, he didn't last
right. He brought everybody to at
tention at once when he said the first
thing in the Bible were the four
words, I'm the beginning Cod" and
the last thing in the same book were
"The grace Of our Lord Jesus Christ
I've with you ALL And between these
! opening words of Genesis and the
closing passage Of Revelation he sale
there was much that connected up the
thoughts of God in the beginning OF
all things and the sustaining power
Of the grace of Jesus Christ 1t was
a statement that commanded atten
| tion and interest was sustained from
the beginning to the end of the dis
course.
1t is very evident that Savannah i.
going to enjoy the visit of Gips,
Smith, Jr., and find his sermons help
full and attractive. The services ar,
going to be largely spiritual and also
largely human.
| The singing of the great choir las
night was a revelation and an inspira
ton. The power of song was neve,
more aptly illustrated than during the
Is minutes song service precedinb tn.
regular services. The whole servic,
was impressive, thoroughly. pleasing
and in every way helpful.-Savannat
| Press.