New-York tribune., 1922-10-03
CopE. Nsw yoFk Tfthuna Hno.. isa7

one plus seven, plus three, plus two
plus two, plus two-and the result is
seventeen.
Seventeen is one more than eighteen
l.. that is thing that will come
to anybody with little thought
seventeen is one more than eighteen
And the thing you must fix in your
mind from the start is that you are
remembering a number that is one more
than the number obtained by adding
together the figures one, seven, three
two, two and two. Therefore, the num-
Der that you are trying to remember
is number containing figures that
will add up to eighteen.
And, sure enough, the number 5445
does add up to eighteen!-Try it your
self and see if it doesn't.-Five plus
four, plus four, plus five that
makes eighteen. There are, of course,
different sets of figures which, If added
together, will add up to eighteen
the figures in the number e009 If added
together will add up to eighteen.-But
as soon as the figures 9-0-0~9 flash be-
fore your mental eye something will
tell you that is not your friends tele-
phone number. Keep experimenting
till you get the right figures in the
right sequence.
The telephone operator will probably
be very glad to make helpful sugges-
tions.-Our System is infallible; we
have never known 1t to fail yet, when
given thorough trial; it is simpler
than most methods.
The autumn murder crop in New
Jersey seems to be about as usual
this year.-No man who was sober
would consent to walking a crack to
prove that he was sober.-The Old Soak
says it was our system of nmemonics
that made him what he is to-day
Aunt Prudence Hecklebury is laying in
a supply Of red silk to-day for the
Notices for DR.. Cranes Dressing Gown
Some Prohibitionists are so Pure
that we suppose we couldn't get them
into Hippodrome where there is
Tank.-The new skirts leave more to
the imagination and less to the ele-
ments.-Carpentier seems to have made
the mistake of butting his colored
friend everywhere except in the shins.
The last five years seem to be the
worst, in pugilism.
Probably they call it the manly art
to distinguish it from the moving pic
tare business-Heywood Broun says he
is going to write a play in which, when
man says: II am going!" he really
goes.
You'd better not try any innovations,
Heywood!-What you want in play is
Tears and Sunshine and the Little
Woman.
Take Aleestis, for instance, to 20 on
further back.-All built around the
Little Womani
Says we to Aristotle:
"Hand US theme for playl"
Says he: 'eThere's Home, and the
Bottle!"
So we built the thing that way.
The high C's of literature: Coin,
Crime and Conjugal Relations.--A new
Social Era Is upon us.-We have had
the Gold Millionaire, the Cattle King
and the OIL Millionaire, the War Prof
teer and the Movie Millionaire, and now
we are face to face with the Bootleg
Millionaire.-We think we will grab
him off for ourself and start him going
in this very eolumn.-How about The
Rise and Social Adventures of Mr..
Lemuel Hotchkins, the Bootleg Million
aire I'VE see gorgeous opportunity
in Mr.. Hotchkins.
And it will give us something to play
with during the long winter evenings
ahead of us.--We've always written
this column stuff, anyhow, just for a
Fad, and to keep us out of the open
air, as some men take up Bridge.--Our
real interests are literary.
The United Stntes Gonay,,s,a ont