davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1922-12-04

A shipment Of monkeys has been sent
70 Harvard for scientific purposes.
Monkeys are great imitators, and before
long we expect to hear of one of them
marrying chorus girl.
Our idea Of dishonesty on a small scale
is trying to cash counterfeit ruhIe
The Washington herald., 1922-12-04

WHATS all this fuss about.
w anyhow? Well. to con-
fess, 1t was stirred by the read
ing Of the following funny news
item:
At a meeting in Boston Of
members Of the Reed, Read,
and Reid families. resolutions
were adopted asking that a ma
tional act be passed by Con.
gress making It unlawful for
any person TO assume the fam
lily surname of any one Of Colo
nial, Revolutionary, or histo-
rical fame.
Hold on, and hold your sides.
That's not all.
1t was also voted that for the
protection Of such names, and
The Washington herald., 1922-12-04

WITH due respect-this is.
w indeed. an incentive to-
ward that fine living which re-
fleets credit upon an honored
name, and thus justifies at least
a modest and creative pride.
But what would you think OF
that pride when ii develops a
proprietary quality, the monopo-
listic spirit. a determination to
prevent others from using your
name?
One would suggest that such
fine folks should try to have
their names patented to prevent
infringement.
Who knows but that. since
they take so much stock in
themselves, they might capital
ize their name and sell the
right to its use, wholly or in
part.
The Washington herald., 1922-12-04

THE ANcIENTS HAD THEM.
An English film authority says the first
Idea Of the movies dates back to the shadow
shows" Of Confucius, 500 B. C. For our part,
We think the same plots are still in USE
The Washington herald., 1922-12-04
We TOWNE GOSSIP
l. Copyright 1922. b. Star comp.ny.
BY K c. B.

GEN. COLEMAN Du- I AND PR
f0.' AaAINs'
SOMEWHERE In Of the
" AND CO
MY PEAR General AND TIL
MADE
u,. Mp,r,Nc .hor. .
y" ' "0'0 DOWN I
BUT LIFE is full ton.
OF SILLY thing. AND ST.
night.
THAT ONCE ina ,'
while. At YOU
BECOME important. AND IN
AND THIS particular WHEN !
SILLY THING. FILE
HAVE in mind WITH '
water.
" NeAH drowned AND TT
in.
AND YOU'RE the AND GA
owner: little.
OF THE Willard AND WI
Hotel. under.
IN Washington. AND str
~ out.
ATS House saE DUPONT AND d;
up.
IN Wilmington. FOR r.
AND WHEREI,ive ton tuI
,s A. -. v,,,.,, ARE 81;
::. AND d
ANU, 'He oatntuos drown
'Hs'' AND 10
ARE SO very short AND s.
THAT IN the water.
morning AND eve
IN THE ice cold -
water AND a
Generi
! HAVE to double up. -.
TO GO down under. -
THAT A
AND DUCK my head. tubs.
AND ALL l have to IN ALL
DO. sHouLI
is TO straighten out. same
\
The Washington herald., 1922-12-04
SCATTER IT FREELY, GIRLS.

American-made radio sets are to be barred
out Of England. but American heiresses may
continue to do such broadcasting as they like
Gyex- there.
The Washington herald., 1922-12-04
OOGGLUM KLANKLEG.
ENTER, BROTHER
By Bugs" Baer-

MUCH agitation has testament on his ini
AVA spooned up Scent fare ment graphophone
radius of Washington traffic
Jams. Koo Koo Klan VoU can 70 'em one be
nothing less. There by pulling your Per
anything less your amalsam,
bean and skipping
TAR has been discovered bunch of borough. wa,
have deadly bunch of sharpened
been found in pillows Pst paragus
two and two into the add
Ing What happens! OR your piano cover win
You're sleeping " tinidate many chilly z
IL you wear II at proper m
DoYS who think that bed
sheets crosscountry vX1HY up in ,
trosseaus spotted parior curtains and
Virginia terrortzing children Fifth
and applying torch to autumn violation of traffic la
leaves Immediately, four leeislat
will dry all a,
THERE is that many every on your
innocent suburbanites viii rattle like bell
been ridden
third rail T,HAT donkey borrc
Ii suburbanites innor going until he
- cent. They must be- Ev- talk official II
Of em has been tried Then e looped home
by jury and discharged. stepmother
IN old days. when piped IF find donkey wea
= citizen walking back = bed clothing, there
fence in pillow and nothing do but spank
armor figured lie bed slat
ed with insomnia. II he
ed let neighbors' hone T'HAT viii remind him
their claws on his bare Shin. parts Of
that his stitution are stn In gear
cety.
MEET you IN shadow
DCT IL nocturnal clowns ~ e' ~
~ get together embroder =
funny pictures pillow -,
and ganop around like comic
supplements. everybody pulls in NLEAGLE B1esxle
his and plays last viii IN
The Washington herald., 1922-12-04

DUT now, IL nocturnal clowns
get together and embroider
funny pictures on pillow cases
and gallop around like comic
supplements. everybody pulls in
his neck and plays his last will
The Washington herald., 1922-12-04

; to avoid confusion. mistakes or
fraud to the poster1ty. the or
ganization seeks to prevent for
. eisners from taking any colonial
or American names which have
been made prominent.
The Washington herald., 1922-12-04

IN old days, when we piped
citizen walking on back
fence In pillow case and sheet
armor. we figured he was load.
ed with insomnia. II he want
ed to let neighbors' cats hone
their claws on his bare shins,
that was his own secret so.
ciety.
The Washington herald., 1922-12-04

A LII suburbanites are innor
- cent. They must be. Ev-
cry one Of 'em has been tried
by jury and discharged.
The Sneedville news. (Sneedville, Tenn.) 191?-19??, 1922-08-11
The Best Mans Toast.

At the club last night the business
girl WAS the center of a group of
Interested listeners. Fragments of con.
yersation containing the words ''Drides-
maids" simply adorable" wonder
full house" pearls" Japan" fioated
over To the Woman and induced her
10 put down the magazine and un-
blushlngly seat herself on the Ches-
teriield directly behind the animated
narrator. just In time To hear her de-
scription of the best man.
He was very good looking. though
rather conceited. and In responding TO
the bridesmaids toast said: All
through our school and college days
the groom and | have been the best
of friends. In games and sports
have usually beaten him out. but In
this great race for bride the better
man has won, and I'm sure he's well
come To her. OF course the poor thing
meant TO say: I'm sure he's worthy Of
her. But he can never. never explain
il away. and the bride says she Ger
tainly won't invite him to another
Of hers T.
The Sneedville news. (Sneedville, Tenn.) 191?-19??, 1922-08-11
Heavenly Scanoai.

On sne Of our cruisers there Is q
certain officer whose manila for In
spections and visiting other folks
quarters at unseemly times has
reached such a point as 10 make hin
heartily hated by those Of the crew
who possess IA taste and talent for the
rollIckIng dominoes after official re
firing hours. II was following one
~ these visltations that the COB
gloomed after the intruder and re-
marked:
II betcha my next months pay that
when old Bugler Gabriel foots reveille
for the general resurrection. he'll find
that guy crawlin' out Of somebody
elses grave"
The Sneedville news. (Sneedville, Tenn.) 191?-19??, 1922-08-11

sight that would have gladdened
the heart Of John the Baptist II
shown In photographs of the newly
discovered grasshopper glacier In the
northern corner of Yellowstone Ma
tional park.
These pictures. just received by the
geological survey. show Embedded In
the Ice thousands Of strata of grass
hoppers of extinct species Of time
long before the period In which the
insects were considered delectable.
These glazed grasshoppers must
have been flying over the mountains
In living clouds of millions when they
were caught In snowstorms and frozen
into the glacier.
Motorists are visiting the remark
able glacier by the thousands this
summer.
The Sneedville news. (Sneedville, Tenn.) 191?-19??, 1922-08-11
Reaches Away Back.

A baldheaded society man tells this
one on himself. He was mt lawn
party. and matron who thought he
was too busy talking to a pretty girl
10 notice what she was saying re
marked In n low voice to another ma
tron. "what a nice face Mr.. Blank
has"
Just then he happened TO remove his
hat for a moment and he heard the
other reply. yes, and how much there
In OF it."-Boston Transcript.
The Sneedville news. (Sneedville, Tenn.) 191?-19??, 1922-08-11
Accidental.

Once, while chatting with Senator
Shirley Of Maine, Bill Nye. the humor-
list. remarked that he had been horn nj
Shirley In the senator's state and that
he supposed the town had been named
for one of the senator's ancestors.
81 don't know" NE senator replied,
"that there was such town In Maine
as Shirley"
81 didn't know II either" Nye said.
innocently. until I was born there"
The Sneedville news. (Sneedville, Tenn.) 191?-19??, 1922-08-11
Then ather Fiared.

A young man was wheeling a per
ambulator TO and fro In front of his
house. He looked hot, but contented.
my DEAR" came a voice from an
upper window of the house.
"Now let me alonel" he called back.
"We're all right"
An hour later the same voice, In
earnest, pleading tones:
ARTHUR, DEAR"
''Well, what do you want?" he re-
sponded. Anything wrong In the
bousef"
mo. dear; but you have been
wheeling Doras doll all the afternoon.
Isn't II time for the baby to have Q
turnf'-Chicago Herald.
The Sneedville news. (Sneedville, Tenn.) 191?-19??, 1922-08-11
Must Be Partnership.

Often aud ngnin. man who falls In
his scheme Of life could he made a
success II some capable man would
take him In hand; but he'd have to be
willing.
The Sneedville news. (Sneedville, Tenn.) 191?-19??, 1922-08-11
w. N. w.. CINCINNATI, NO. si-i0a2
Lost hia Spokea.

Charles had taken part In some
holiday exercises. II was his first mp.
pearance on the stage. and he had
shown considerable nervousness.
His mother said 10 him: II think
you did well. Charles. even though
you did get scared"
"Oh, I wasn't n bit scared" he
FASTENED 20 assure her. but I think
my voice was"
The Sneedville news. (Sneedville, Tenn.) 191?-19??, 1922-08-11
A Lady OF Distinction

II recognized by the delicate fascinat.
ing influence of the perfume she uses.
A bath with Cuticura Soap and hot
water TO thoroughly cleanse the pores
followed by a busting with Cuticura
Talcum powder usually means a clear.
sweet, healthy Observation-Disclosures
The Sneedville news. (Sneedville, Tenn.) 191?-19??, 1922-08-11
LOOK OLD? 4, !: !; 81:
- ~ wv ~ ~ u hottie al O-Rau IA
Glazed Grasshoppers.

quickly - stops dandrun Al all good drusgtssa,
Nc, or direct from nssie-Na. OsuiA nsupAk "a
The Sneedville news. (Sneedville, Tenn.) 191?-19??, 1922-08-11

A CGUSTUS THOMAS has been ap-
n pointed executive chairman IF
the Producing Managers association
for three years at n large salary. with
powers In the world of the spoken
drama comparable 10 those 81 WIN
Hays in the motion picture industry
and Judge lands In baseball. The
association includes practically al the
important theatrical producers
The Sneedville news. (Sneedville, Tenn.) 191?-19??, 1922-08-11
Not Always Successful.

She tto aviator)-And do you come
down the same way you 20 up1
He-No: try TO come down feet
first.
The Sneedville news. (Sneedville, Tenn.) 191?-19??, 1922-08-11

In Congoland. men alone are per
mltted Ia take snufr. while the women
smoke the strongest tobacco.
The Sneedville news. (Sneedville, Tenn.) 191?-19??, 1922-08-11

The largest car at present used on
British railways is less than 40 feel
long.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1922-01-21
STANDARD BASEBALL
NECESSARY--HEYDLER
National League President Doesn't
Approve Of Rubber Core
Ry the Assnciafpd presS

New York, Jan. 2l.--A standard
baseball is essential to the malnteno
Of major and minor league playing
averages according to President John
NJ. Heyder, Of the National League
This statement is made in discussing the
report that the Pacific Coast League
will adopt q rubber cored ball for the
1929 season.
"Play with balls of different types OF
construction would throw batting, field
ing and pitching averages into complete
confusion and, to great extent, null
lily the usefulness OF such averages, -
he said How could manager or
scout of major league team get line
upon the ability of minor league
player II balls of various composition
are to be used?
IT believe q rule should be incorpo-
rated in the major minor league agree
ment to this effect. The rules now
specify that the ball used by Ill shall
be Of a certain weight and size but
nothing is said regarding its component
narts. In the past it has been generally
accepted that all the leading leagues
used a sphere Of similar construction.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1922-01-21
STADIUM PLANSAT
PENN APPROVED
Athletic Council Gives Chairman
Power to Make Contracts.
Sinkler Off Grid Committee
SCHEDULES ARE APPROVED

THE University Of Pennsylvania 8
i new stadium. TO seat 5J 900 persons.
is now q surety. Yesterday rhe Athletic
Council empowered Sydney Hutchinson.
chairman Of the council, with full
authority to negotiate contracts for the
erection of the new stadium, which Is
expected to start on May I.
The action OF the council was the
final authority necessary to definitely
arrange for the building. Previously
the trustees Of the University gave
their consent so that II remained for the
Athletic Council to give authority to
sign contracts.
Yesterdays meeting Of the council, the
yearly one and the most important In
that all committees for the ensuing year
are elected, saw the re election of Mr..
Hutchinson as chairman of the council
and the election Of r. G. Hill, former
gridiron player of three decades ago.
as the new member of the Football
Committee TO succeed Wharton Sinkler,
who has been n member of the com
mittee for the last three years. Mr..
Sinkler is now in Europe.
The council granted the Track Com
mittee authority to send relay team
to the University OF Illinois games on
March 4, and also to send several ath-
letes to the National A. A. Y. cham
pionship meet in Buffalo on February a..
The proposed trip to London to com
pete in the Achilles Club games on April
S was o. KID by the council, which
gave authority to the Track Committee
TO have n team meet the French teams
in Paris in April, provided the Penn
team can compete in the meet and re
turn TO this city in time for the an
nual relay carnival on Franklin Field.
The council also ratified the schedules
Of the following sports: Swimming.
wrestling, lacrosse. fencing, polo. box
ing, rifle and gymnasium. In addition
the different committees for 1872 were
announced as follows:
Athletic council chairman, Sydney
Hutchinson vice chairman, DR.. X. TAFT
Mckenzie; secretary. DR.. Thomas Z.
McCutchcon acting graduate manager
Edward II. Bushnell.
Executive Committcc--John G. Bell,
DR.. T.. P. McCutcheon, George II. Fra =
zier.
Financc-Gcorge II. Frazier, Arthur
l.. Church. Howard Hoyde.
Basketball - Ralph Morgan. Howard
Hovde. William Grave, captain; X. IL.
Zimmerman. manager.
Track-W. West Frazier, Sd. chair
man; Murdoch Kcndrick. Lawrence
Brown. captain: Dana Bennett, man =
ager r. j. Murphy, II. Hovdc.
Football-Sydpey Hutchinson, Il. g.
Hill. J. w. Sheody. J. X. c'Pos'(
Miller, captain; j. c. Compton, man
ager. :,
Soccer. r. Tbayer. John c. Bell.
Jr.. DR.. r. TAFT Mckenzie. G. Wag-
oner, 3. Amelia. captain; II. Hamil
ton, manager.
Rowing-John Arthur Brown. Thomas
Reath, A. L. Church. 4. r. BRENNAN,
Eddie Mitchell, captain; Gordon Cook,
manager.
Baseball-Fletcher Sites. Y. =. Me-
Cutcheon. George Wagner. William
Maher. captain: George Walhourrr,
manager.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1922-01-21
RECORD ENTRY LIST
FOR SCHOOL SWIM
1853 Mermen From is Different
Schools Compete at Penn
This Afternoon

One hundred and fifty eight swim
ners from fifteen different schools will
compete in the annual interscholastic
swimming championships starting at Q
oclock this afternoon in the Weight
man Hall pool Of the University Of
Pennsylvania.
George Kistler. veteran coach of the
Fenn team, is one of the strongest be-
levers in the schools getting together
Asvery year and fight It out for the
championship. He instituted the tour
hey many years ago and has seen it
PROV from a few schools in this vicinity
% fifteen from all parts of the East.
Last year Lane Tech. of Chicago, en-
tmed the meet. the first Western school
20 make an appearance at the tourney.
Fifteen schools are listed to compete
ln today's meet. thirteen of which have
sntered teams in the 400-yard relay
see, the feature event Of the program.
Of the schools entered Erie High School
pn two quartets, Lawrenceville, the
sme number, and Brooklyn Poly. At
lsntic City, Coatesville. Mercersburg,
west Philadelphia and Girard College
zach one.
For the first time in years only one
ireater New York school il entered in
the meet, Brooklyn Poly. According to
word received by Coach Kistler from
several New York schools, the caliber
pt their teams is not up TO the standard
pccessary for such q meet as will be
neld this afternoon and they are,
neretore, keeping their teams at home.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1922-01-21

the end Of the desk, and almost toucn
him with the revolver muzzle itself.
"I got him. MaggotG' purred the
Scorpion. IT got him now, the
The mans voice ended in q startled
cry. The sweat was running into Dave
Uenderson's eyes, he could scarcely see
Just o blurred vision over slaggot s
shoulder. blurred vision Of a slim
figure running like the wind into the
room, and STOPPING TO the floor where
the package Of banknotcs lay. and
snatching it up, and starting for the
door again.
revolver was pointed now across the
room and the slight. fleeing figure
syayed. and staggered, and recovered
herself. and went on, and over her
shoulder her voice, though il faltered,
rang bravely through the room:
IL thought he'd rather have this
than you. Dave. II was the only chance.
Don't mind me, Dave. He won't get
me-
The whimpering thing in Dave Hen
derson's 8 arms was flung from him. and
it crashed to the floor. 1t wasn't his
own strength, it was the strength Of one
demepted. and Of a maddened brain,
that possessed Dave Henderson now
And be leaped forward. running Ike q
hare. Teresa had already gained me
stairs-the Scorpion in pursuit was hall
way along the hall. And now he saw
nothing else-just that red haired fig
ure running, running. running. Thers
was neither house. nor ball. nor stairs
nor any other thing--onIy that red
haired figure that the soul Of mis- cIsved
for whom there was no mercy, that will,
4 L ~ -, IL,
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1922-01-21
INTERClTY MATCH
IN RACQUETS TODAY
Philadelphia Will Make Strong
Bid to Increase Lead
Over New York

The second half of the intercity com
petition between the Racquet Club and
the New York Racquet and Tennis Club
will be staged this afternoon in a rae
Qucts match and the local payers are
determined to- increase the lead which
was gained in New York last Satur-
lay in court tennis. The contests will
be held Mt the Racquet Club.
Philadelphia won three of the four
court tennis matches played a week ago,
but 1t Is said that the Gothamites will
present more formidable opposition in
the racquets engagements. Some SEN
Sational matches should result.
The only court tennis match lost by
the Philadelphians was dropped when
Stanley Mortimer and C. G. Pel de-
feated the local men. Stanley Pearson
and S. Andrews. That was in the first
match. but then the PhiladelphiaDs
came through with three straight wins,
Jay Gould and Joseph w. Wear, w. G.
Wright and j. c. Pelh and George
Brooks and Wilson Potter getting the
triumphs.
The feature match last Saturday was
between the national champions, Jay
Gould aDd Joseph Wear. for thiq city.
and the Cutting brothers. Fulton and
Suydam, for New York. The title
holders lost the first set. SO. but thew
ran out in straight sets. 6-1, 6-3, 90
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1922-01-21
PENN WINS FIRST HOCKEY
MATCH UNDER NEW COACH
Red and Blue Sextet Downs Co.
Iumbla, S to 4, In Extra Period

Penn staged a mockey comeback last
night. when il defeated Columbia Uni
yersity. recent conouerors OF Princeton.
in an extra period match at the Ice
Palace. by goals to J.
With the score deadlocked at four
goals each at the end of the third pc
riod, It was decided to play overtime
until either team scored. In the extra
period Captain Murray. OF Penn. got
past the Columbia defense and skinned
the puck into the net after two min
utes twenty five seconds.
Columbia started out strong and led
Penn 3 to . at the end Of the second
period, due to the clever shooting OF
Anderson, but the New Workers ap-
reared to tire after that and Penn ral-
lied. This was PENIS first match I'm =
der Coddy. Winters, the new hockey
coach.
The Harvard team is ready for its
match with Princeton tonight. Ii Will
be Harvard's only appearance Of the
George Owen. star Of the Crimson
football team. is captain of the Grim
son ice headliners. He has performed
Just as brilliantly on the ice as on the
gridiron. Harvard has another pow =
erful team. Princeton Is much better
than last year, and has been pointing
toward this game.
Both teams will have plenty of root =
crs. The Harvard Club, Of Philadpl- :
phia, hns reserved section on the
north side Of the Palace. while the
Tiger followers will be on the south
side,
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1922-01-21
COLLEGES IN WEST
CONTROL SPORTS
Athletics Not Overemphasized
in Conference, Ohio and Chi
cago Presidents Agree
TROUBLE IS ELIMINATED

Columbus. o.. Jan. 21.-Athletics
are not over emphasized in Western
Conference universities. President w.
o. Thompson, of Ohio State University.
and President Harry Pratt Judson. of
the University Of Chicago. agreed IN
speeches delivered here tonight before
the Chicago University Alumni Asso-
citation Of Central Ohio Both made
reference to the recent statement OF
President Lowell Of Rarvard, that too
much importance wasbeing attached to
intercollegiate sports.
Athletics at Ohio State University
have not been over emphasized, and ]
believe the same is true of other West
ern ConfCrenc Schools said President
Thompson. Limitations placed upon
the number of football games w Con :
ference rules have eliminated that.
"Sixteen or seventeen years ago we
were confrontd with thrat of that
nature. but it no Logger exists. Our
schedules, limited to seven games, are
in striking contrast tc the schedules Of
from eight to twelve games attempted
in Eastern schools. ,.
The victory of our football team n
Princeton last year came rs surprise
TO many EaSterners. who have not con.
sidere1 such a thing possible declared
DR.. ,Judson. Some of the Eastern
colleges DO not appreciate Middle West
ern institutions TO thc fullest extent.
and they occasionally awaie 10 sit
uation TO that recently stated by Pres.
idcnt Lowell in regard to athletics and
mention II as If it had never bccn dis
covered before.
1--WE long ago met the situation out
,,I.
our present system we have 10 fear OF
rthletics assuming too great share
of importance. President Lowell is
right in saving tie primary purpose rl
an educational institution is cduca
ton"
The main part of DR.. Judson's al .
dress wns confined to description OF
plOns for establishment Of q new inc'li =
cal school at his institution.