The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1922-02-16

DER DlAOeS.
The saddest thing in the world il
the has been in the crowd at polit-
ical wake.
j Wouldn't it be great If worry OF
early piety or whatever 1t is made
your face instead Of your head bald
II we were an inventor and wanted
to make q mint Of money we would
invent . small wringsr for children's
noses.
/ Since the advent of short skirts
we have observed that it Is q great
deal harder to hide the family skele-
ton than it used to be.
1t is not 30 much what il said over
the back fence that causes the trou-
BILE, but the manner in which it is
said.
Mickie, the printers devil, says that
the merchants who advertise are the
backbone Of the town, but the mer-
chants who don't are jest the wish
bone.
Darling, there has been something
trembling on my lip all evening" the
young man said, a. he attempted to
put his arm around the girl he had
been taking to the movies for the last
three months. "Well, why don't you
shave it OFT" she asked. And an
other romance was kicked in the stats.
"Your daughter is a fine musician
she has a fine touch" man said
TO an Irish woman. "Well, tits no
wonder, for she loves the pianny and
never tires Of it," replied the Irish
ady. "She has taste for music that
Is only natural, for her grandfather
mad his skull broke wild cornet at
importance outing"
Alice, years old, entered the store
md announced that, to make her dolly
! dress, she needed "some red, blue
md yellow" When the proprietor
lad brought out the required amount
# material she asked how much it
vas. THAT will cost you just one
,iss," replied the storekeeper. Where
Ipon Alice answered: Mamma said
he would come in and pay you to-
morrow"
Jones was a stockbroker on the Pa
ific coast. He made lot Of money.
lie wanted to see John w. Gates.
Ifter some trouble he saw him. "Who
re you? 2" asked Gates. "Don't you
now me?" was the reply, "T'm Jones
I the Pacific, coast. Offices in Los
angeles, San Francisco and Denver. II
made a million and half dollars !!
1 two years" "A million and half
l two years?" said Gates "You
ont say. Match you for it." :
Q
Pat, who had weakness for the >
inc of the country, did days work 7
,r the village priest, and labored so v
OILY that when he begged for .
rink at the end Of it the kind man -
I'd not the heart to refuse. "'Tis q .
all in your coffin, all the same, Pat" q
I'D he, as he poured out couple of >
lgers. at Is that, your reverence"
i'd Pat, as he drained the glass;
tut now that we've the hammer in ii
,ur hand we might as well DROVE in g
lother!" 81
Q Q T
"Rastus, Use gwine get rich. Use a
ne bought me some stock in 4 nut a,
ctory" "a which kind Of fac d,
ry?" "A nut factory, which sells m
meat of pecans, almonds and SIGH, al
ready cracked an picked out. This tt
ali company gwine save money with m
new labo' -savin' device which de of
omotah done tole me about. De he
is am gwine be cracked by trained al
uirrels which don't charge no wag- te
/" as dis heah company licensed, tn
abolished an ready TO- bizness?" br
eah, prsktikally-all 'cept trainin' so
squirrels" Of
be
A woman for years has let her fam g.
understand that she did not like ~
up. Imagine her husbands sur ~;
Sc one evening when soup only was 81
we'd at the vesper meal. He said 49,
hing, observing that his wife was l.,
ing soup. The next day each of ~,
J three meals consisted Of soup.
able to repress his curiosity long, wh
he had audience with one Of the
ldren and inquired into the reason
the liquid diet. Mother leaned
II the stove to put some kindling sto
yesterday" explained the young Fla
,eful. "and her false teeth fell into IN
Y 4 ut