The Coconino sun., 1922-12-15
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 Many a boy has got through col lege by writing short stories to his pa.
 The only really successful liar in the world is the feller who writes 'em for pay and sells 'em to be printed.
 The wise man does not ask for prices nowadays. He pays and raises his to cover.
 About the only place in the United States Clara Phillips hasn't been dis covered is in Flagstaff. Her pull chritude may yet placate the crime.
 Some chuckle-head asks: "Can a flapper make her way?" We sug- gest that any real flapper which can't make her way, aint going no place to start with.
 A New York paper says it can't understand why mosquito can get along so long without sleep. In Hono- lulu where pulchritude is so shifty, mosquitoes have unionized and there are day and night shifts of mosqui- toes. Laugh? Yes, but they have the day and the night mosquito. Light or dark meat don't make no matter with them, but they do complain some about the irritation of the grass skirt. JUST DISCOVERING HARD TIMES Two negroes in a southern town were discussing hard times. One said: "You know, Bill, nah shoes is so thin eff I was to step on CT dime l could tell ef it was heads or tails, an ef An ebber gifts nah hans on CT dollah ergin, Pm gonner squeeze hit so tight Ahll put CT pumernint wave in ole Miss Liberty's wig"
 To the American ocean traveller the first three miles out are the longest. This probably accounts for the rail roads idea in charges for Hong and short haul freight" It isn't so much what it costs, it's what they have got that you can't get any other way.
 The six best cellars in town never complain about drainage.
 The geological survey" is the lat est expression of the flapper who wishes to detone fresh advances. In human language it is interpreted to mean "a stony stare" Rocks in your pocket is the only antidote.
 The ex-kaiser says that while the ''me unt Gott" stunt helped whole lot, the very first time he attempted to walk on the water he gott awful vet.
 The world is very round to those who circumnavigate it, but rather flat to those who are compelled to stay at home all the time.
 We are constrained to believe the United States has the very best crim inal talent in the whole world because our laws best help their avocation. Our laws offer every convenience to the honest criminal who only desires to carry on his trade unmolested. Thanks to our big newspapers, we are accommodating this class of citizens very rapidly. What this country de- mands is quantity, quality might in-i terfere with our idolatry of the dol lar.
 About the most despicable human insect is the "procrastinator," who lives on the ideas advanced and fi nanced by the pioneer. The pioneer makes history while the "prochastin- 1 ator" merely makes money.
 Chivalry is dead. Thus, we are told, a young fellow proposed recently:
 Marian, how would you like to help couple of flower girls chase me down the aisle? ?" What would grand pa say to that?
 Yet occasionally we find bashful modern youth, as for instance he who stammeringly inquired of his adoreo one: "Would you-er be offended if -er-er thought of you by your first name?"
 It's mighty mean man that won't let his wife keep at least half of the commandments.
 A flapper prayer: 'Lead US not into tempetation, but lead us to the man who knows where it is."
 Bobby was stroking his cat before the fireplace in perfect content The cat, also happy, began to purr loudly. Bobby gazed at her for a while, then suddenly seized her by the tail and dragged her roughly away from the hearth. His mother interposed:
 "You must not hurt your kitty, Bobby" .
 "I'm not" said Bobby, "but I've got to get her away from the fire. She's beginning to boil"
 The sergeant was having a hard time with particularly green lot of recruits They were mlite charmed