davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1922-01-19
-WiZzers

Pete: "Don't you think Ethel re-
minds you of swami"
Beck: ayes, l felt little down in
the mouth after kissing her.
Kelly: Gee, Evelyn's blonde. She
must use peroxide"
John Daniel: Maybe saw her in
the bleachers the other day."
Bill Sweeney: "Give me round trip
ticket! Quick!
Ticket Agent: "Where TOT"
Bill: "Back here, you fool"
Mr.. Trundle: '"The moon is con-
stantly falling toward the EARTH
Halter: "Then we'll all be moon
struck II its beams don't hold 1t up"
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1922-01-19
Hic Ibi Unique

Due to the snow-storm the attend
ance at school this week was very low.
Many of the teachers who do not
live here were unable to go home as
the trolleys were not running.
The High School boys are now prac-
ticing for Minstrel Show, which they
give on the last night of the Carnival.
Earline Alexander is now able to
walk without his crutches.
The joint meeting between the two
literary societies will be held Friday,
January 9th.
AS the trolleys were not running
on last Friday morning Mr.. Stull and
John Daniel Leatherman walked to
Thurmont from Lewistown.
The Juniors are putting the finish
ing touches to their play entitled
"Miss Somebody Else"
Miss Audrey Buhrman who is pa
tient at the Frederick City Hospital
is now improving rapidly.
Miss Dorothy Beachley spent the
weekend with friends in Hagerstown.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1922-01-19

Bob: 81 wish were star"
Dolly: 81 wish you were comet"
Bob: "Why?" /
Dolly: "Then you'd come around
only once every thousand years"
Harold: "What do you do when
your mother has a carpet to be
cleaned?"
Stanley: IT beat it."
John Daniel: "Why doesn't Dolly
wear openworkl stockings"
Bob: "She's so thin she's afraid
she'll fall through the holes"
Youngster: "Have you lived here all
your life?"
Old Man: mot yet"
Black and Blue Jay.
The little boy was being scolded by
his mother.
"Why can't you be good?" she
asked.
an be good for Nickel he re-
piled.
"Oh," said his mother, "you want
to be bribed. Why don't you copy
your father and be good for nothing y
Black and Blue Jay.
$50 he was driven to his grave?"
"Sure, did you expect him to walk ?"
Black and Blue Jay.
Soph: "Hey, Bill, lend me some
change"
Bill: .'Nothin' doin,' ask Freshie
' for some"
soph: "But they don't know me-
Bill: "That's why mentioned it.
Men and boys are not increasing in
| height, but short skirts make them
look longer.
| Black and Blue Jay.
Gertlude:"Ju think, papa, Horace
is newspaper mani!
Papa: 81 know, he comes out daily
Updike: Mother, may | go to the
party as a milkmaid?"
Mother: mo, child, you are too
small"
Uppy: "Then may / go as con-
~~,;ll,,o,,;J9
There used to be only four grades
in the high school-the privileged fe"
but lately another grade has beer
added. County School Board please
note.
The students are supposed to have
the period from $3.50 to Ais to dance
but now the Juniors are occupying
the auditorium at that period to prac'
tiee their play.
Carroll thinks Carolyn is made TO,
him.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1922-01-19
THURMONT HIGH SCHOOL
THE MEGAPH o N E

Published alternately by the Delta
Sigma and the Philokalean Literary
Societies the first and third weeks OF
each month during the school year.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1922-01-19

Winter Sports
Wrestling-with the furnace.
Fishing-coal out of the ashes.
Camping-around the radiator.
Hunting-steamer rugs.
Diving-between the sheets.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1922-01-19

Try To Imagine
Grace Keibaugh cutting up cat In
Biology.
Glenn Eyler keeping awake in BIZ
ology.
Lee Martin dancing.
John Daniel with short trousers.
Gertrude Creager making an "F."
Isabel Shaffer funking a test.
Edward Foreman not talking.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1922-01-19

When the curtain in the city take
! drop, some Of the men follow suit.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1922-01-19

The only way some people can get a
head is by raising cabbage.
If you want to make light of trouble
keep it in the dark.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1922-01-19

Health Rules
Eat dried fruits and keep fresh.
Wash the neck of your milk bottles
also your own.
Join the aero service and swat the
fly.
Let your favorite cake be cake OF
soap.
A good complexion powder is gra-
ham flour.
When you sneeze cancel the breeze.
Raise a well-bread stomach.
Children's Health Organization.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1922-01-19

Miss Dorothy Beachley spent thu
weekend with friends in Hagerstown
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1922-01-19

There used to be only four grades
in the high school-the privileged few
but lately another grade has been
added. County School Board please
note
The Washington times., 1922-11-19
Three All-American
Men With Rochester

Local football fans who wend
their way toward American League
Park this afternoon TO see the
Washington Football Club in action
against the Rochester Jeffs should
witness one Of the best games of
the year.
The Flower City team invades
the Capital with three all-American
selections in their lineup In Alex
ander and Thompson, Of Syracuse,
and King. of Harvard. The first
named will play in the center OF
the line. Thompson will perform at
right tackle, while the former Grim
son star will be In the backfield.
The rest of the team presents an
impressive array of players who
have made history on college grid
irons.
Henricus, star back from SYRIA
cuse. will replace Bennie Boynton
in the locals backfield, the latter
not being available for this game,
although he will be with the home
eleven in future games. Henricus
was one of the best players while
with Syracuse and he is expected to
give local supporters a few thrills
in this afternoons engagement.
The Washington times., 1922-11-19
Barracks Marines
Defeat Navy Yard

The Marine Barracks gridironers
knocked off their keenest rival. the
Navy Yard Marine team, ~ to o.,
in hot game at Washington bar.
racks yesterday.
Navy Yard scored first, a blocked
punt in the first period, resulting
in score.
In the second period the Bar
racks eleven counted its first touch
down on straight line plunging.
Agnew received a forward pass
from Fullback Hughes and raced
forty yards, after which Hughes
went over for the second marker.
Hughes scored the third on . 10.
yard run around right end. The
game was bitterly fought from
start to finish. The Marine Bar.
racks team claims the service cham
pionship of the city and is ready
to book challengers.
Sergeant John B. Dawson, Marine
Barracks, Lincoln 1880. will handle
arrangements for games.
The Washington times., 1922-11-19
MAROON LADS
OF stage GET
9 TO @ SCORE
Thomas and Bohrke Shine as
Illinois Is Defeated in Con-
ference Battle.

CHICAGO, Nov, 18.-With
I John Thomas battering, rip
~ ping aed Literally tearing mis-
way through the line, Chicago
downed Illinois in one OF the bit
terest struggles ever seem on
Stagg Field, Q to 0 this afternoon.
After the teams had played In
desultory fashion in the first two
periods, Thomas was inserted into
the lineup in the final quarter.
He then proceeded to make short
work of the down-Staters.
Lloyd Bohrke. who had been
shifted from guard to end for Chi
cago and who had failed to distin.
guish himself in previous games this
season. scored the honors of the
game with John Thomas. Bohrke
dropped back To the 20.yard line in
the first period ana shot over n
pretty drop kick, giving the Ma
rooms a 3.to-0 lead, which was the
most they were able to accumulate
until near the end Of the contest.
The only touchdown OF the hectic
battle occurred just n few minutes
before time was called when a de
layed pass. Stroheimer to Harry
Thomas, enabled the latter to sneak
over the Orange and Blue goal line.
An effort TO kick goal failed.
The Washington times., 1922-11-19
MICHIGAN WINS,
BUT WISCONSIN
CROSSES GOAL
Badgers Score First Touch
down Made Against WoIver-
ines in Losing Tough Game.

A mn ARBOR, Mich, Nov. 18.
u The Wisconsin Badgers
~ returned to Ann Arbor to-
day for the first game on Ferry
Field in seventeen years and were
given a rousing welcome by the
Wolverines as well as a 13-to-6
beating. Forty-three thousand
people packed the big concrete
stands and thousands were turned
away.
Michigan employed the same
strategy that defeated Ohio State
two weeks ago. The game, the
result of which will weigh heavily
in deciding the champion of the
Western Conference was fiercely
fought.
Never did the Badgers stop fight
ing. even when behind in the dying
moments of the game, as the lone
Badger touchdown coming in the
last few minutes of play will prove.
The touchdown marked the first
time Michigan's goal line has been
crossed this season.
The field was slow from twelve
hours rain, which made open field
out poll
the use of the air which both tea ms
employed to advantage.
For the first half both Wisconsin
and Michigan were even. neither
able to score, and each making four
first downs. In the last half Michi-
gan made five first downs to Wis
consin's three, and that tells the
story.
In the third quarter a long pass,
Goebel to Kirk, and another pass.
Kirk to Keefer, put the ball down
near Wisconsin's goal line. kipke
and Kirk made two end runs and
then Cappon went over for Michi-
gan's first touchdown. Goebel, from
placement, kicked goal. with Uter-
jtz holding.
Kipke, star Of the game for Michi-
gan, made the Wolverines final
touchdown when he grabbed Uter-
itz's short pass and sprinted thirty
yards to the goal line. Kipke fail
ed to kick goal.
Wisconsin's marker came after a
series of forward passes. Barr to
Tebell and Barr to Pulaski, coupled
with the fierce line smashing of
Williams, who had put the ball on
Michigan's 10-yard line.
Then Barr dropped back on the
third down and heaved a short pass
to Pulaski for the touchdown.
Michigan blocked the attempt 10
kick, goal Michigan could not stop
The Washington times., 1922-11-19
George Shoemaker Is
Central Net Winner

George Shoemaker, who started
his tennis career in 1918 by winning
the silver cup and the boys cham
pionship, yesterday became a big
Lacquer by winning the final of the
Central High School tennis tourna-
ment and the silver cup.
Shoemaker, who lives at 1415 Long.
fellow street northwest, defeated
Harold Shelton by 6-3, 6-3. There
were sixty boys in competition in the
fall event at the high school.
Four years ago Shoemaker was
thirteen and weighed eighty pounds.
He is considered an excellent pros.
pect for the Central High team this
spring by virtue of his victory in the
tournament Just concluded.
The Washington times., 1922-11-19
NEW PERSONNEL
ISN'T NEEDED
UPON YANKEES
Present Players Should Be
Made to "Play Ball." Thinks
Erred lieb, Sport Authority.
BY FREDERICK G. LIEB.

by FhEDEklCk u. LlEb.
NEW YORK, Nov 1--we
~ read quite a lot in the
papers, especially on sport
ing pages out of New York, how
the Yankees will be rebuilt for
1923. Personally, we don't see
where the great need of rebuilding
comes in. Despite the loss of the
world series in successive games
the Yanks have a formidable team.
They have the players. What the
club needs is to have its players
play ball.
Trades might help the Yankees
by getting rid OF stars for players
Of lesser reputation who might be
willing to play ball. There is little
chance OF improving the infield un-
less Ward should be replaced by a
more consistent hitter. And among
American League second basemen
we only place Collins. McManus and
Harris ahead of Ward.
Scott and Dugan are the best
men In their respective positions In
the American League. Pipp played
the best ball OF his career last sea
son, and his work at first was ex'
celled only by Sisler.
There IL possibility OF Bob
Meusel being traded, but we be-
lieve the Yanks will string along
another year with this erratic slug
ger. While Meusel never got over
his Indifferent manner. In justice
to the player II must be said that
he is a 100 per cent better fielder
than he was when Higgins first
used him in the outfield in 1920.
While Ruth remains the great
drawing card he is there Is little
chance of his getting away from
the Yankees. He either will make
strong comeback next season or
go completely to smash. Witt, in
center field, more than made good
last season and will remain.
Schang caught brilliantly and hit
splendidly last season. and there is
little chance of the aggressive
catcher being put on the market.
Bush. Jones, Shawkey and Hoyt
are all sure of being back with the
club next season. There is some
talk of Mays being traded. He was
at loggerheads with Higgins ever
since the spring incident when Hug
gins fined him for throwing a ball
over the grandstand roof in an ex-
hibition game.
II the Yankees are to be rebuilt,
as everybody says is the case.
where will the rebuilding start?
The Washington times., 1922-11-19
Umpire Figures He's
Right If Nobody
| SQuaWkS

tom MCNAMARA scours
l. the darkest bushes for the
Pirates and every once in a
while comes up with a funny
one he has seen in the hinter-
lands of baseball. Up in the
Mint League he saw an UNI
pire call a balk with nobody
on base.
"Say, man." Tom said to
the umpire after the game,
don't you ever read the
rules?" and referred to the
miscalled balk.
81 must have been right"
said the benighted umpire,
mo one made , squawk."
The Washington times., 1922-11-19
AUBURN TAKES
TOUGH BATTLE
FROM CENTRE
Touchdown in Third Quarter
Gives Plainsmen 6-to-o VIC
tory at Birmingham, Ala.
n BIRMINGHAM, Ala, Nov. l8.
TX The referees whistle end
~ ed the Auhurp-C Centre foot

u BIRMINGHAM, Ala, Nov. ls.
TX The referees whistle end
~ ed the Auburn-Centre foot
ball game on Redwood field here
this afternoon with the Plains
men leading 6 to 0. II had been
one of the most evenly contestsa
games of the Southern football
season.
Superiority in line play and the
superb punting OF Capt. John
Shirley gave Auburn the game and
tumbled the Centre College Colonels
from the southern conference race.
Only the grim shadow OF Thanks
giving and Georgia Tech looms be-
tween Auburn and "A perfect South
ern record for the season.
Auburn scored a touchdown In
the third quarter just after John
Shirley had kicked a fine spiral
fifty yards out of bounds on Gen.
tres 5-yard line. Three Centre
thrusts at the Auburn line failed.
There was nothing to do but
kick The ball was snapped and
three Auburn stalwarts tossed
aside Centre forwards and rushed
down on Roberts. The red-haired
giant tried to KICK around them,
but the ball hit the outstretched
arms Of Reagan. 1t bounded far
back.
Moulton was after 1t like a blood.
hound on a warm trail. A Centre
halfback, unidentified. dived and
missed. Moulton dived fraction
of a second later and scooped the
leather under him as he fell. 1t
was a touchdown.
Moulton missed a placement for
goal after touchdown and the six
points were the game.
The Washington times., 1922-11-19
Initials On Trainers
SatcheI Puzzle
Chicago Cubs

HHRIS SCHNURRER, train
" er of the Chicago Cubs,
has a grip on which is
painted his name with the
initials IN. D." after them.
The players have had many
guesses as 10 what they
mean. Some of them follow:
"No doctor"
"No diploma"
Nothing doing
And while the boys have
their little joke with Chris
he merely smiles through his
horn glasses and keeps his
silence.
"Keep on" he finally re,
plies, "maybe you'll strike it
right some day"
The Washington times., 1922-11-19
Legion Grid Candidates
Holding Practice Today

Candidates for the American
Legion football team. which plays
the Georgia Department at Atlanta
December q. will report to Coach
Joe Geibel at American League Park
today at 10 a. m. Should incleuent
weather obtain the candidates are,
asked by Manager Charles w. Swan
to report at Spaldings instead. Any
member of the American Legion IL
eligible for the team.
The Washington times., 1922-11-19
GRIFFMEN DID WELL.

Against the Western clubs, three
of which finished in the first divis.
ion, Zeb Milan's Griffmen succeed
ed in winning forty as against
forty-eight losses. This is an aver
age of ASS.
The Washington times., 1922-11-19
Central Eleven Beats
Charlotte HnIl, IA to Z

Central trimmed the Charlotte
Hall. IA to Z, yesterday. The game
was tie until Central pushed the
pigskin over the line for a touch.
down in the last quarter.
The Washington times., 1922-11-19

Wisconsin at this stage Of the game,
but the time was short and the
game ended before the Badgers
could get started again.
The Washington times., 1922-11-19
WILL KEEP ON.

Independent football teams here
abouts will keep on going after
the Thanksgiving Day holiday.
They will play through December.
The Washington times., 1922-11-19

TT coach to break into the ranks OF
the guard ruled the instructive end OF the game
Stage Yost, Warner Heisman Dobie etc, nave
coaching Bezdek McGun Donahue
Wce Rockne others been
andh take art science
coaching rarely it So there
than passing observing just what talent may
follow those who decide they have had
their complete share. ..,
Knge be The Penn State star has sound
his been
reports have been received from Bo MsMln but
he Of the OF the
peence Harlow Colgate neither new nor old has made
his job and Jock Sutherland at Lafayette
hassh that he is his to higher honors
searcher after elusive facts writes in to ask who
might coach of them all This beyond
~ When looks list containing such names
Zuppke Rockne Yost Roper Warner Jones' We Fowel
the job of naming the greatest OF the
10 for reach There too
many great to fasten upon anyone
<<DABE" RUTH going simple life and getting
a running and next has
~ the chance that o only a few.
quick cheer almost quick to eer But
nothing than the chance to swing
backo of returned idol
his old hoisng the ball out OF
the day. would following few
weeks than he knew before:
waiting for the Prodgal Son when he
with the stuff
opportunity ahead that other athlete has
known.
The Washington times., 1922-11-19
RIVERDALE PLAYS.

Crystal A. c. eleven at Riverdale
this afternoon at 2:30 o'clock.
The Washington times., 1922-11-19

once Upon Time knew
~ A little barefoot felloO wko
" Knew life but as summers dream,
A song that came from bird or stream;
Who kneW the i0orld bat as place
The yeliotO sunshine bdthed in light,
Or tphere the rosebud shOt0ed its face
Amid the deW Of morning bright;
A place a0here morning held its prime
But that Was Once Upon Time.
And Once Upon a Time knew
The same fair little felloO 'Oho
Looked out upon the ,Oorld lcith faith
And endless hope, nor saw the Wrdih
That l0Omed above him through the years;
THE ,praith of dreams that wandered dol0n
The shadowed iOay of sighs and tears
And vanished IN the far-oU to'on;
He sa,o the great dream in it's prime
But that aUds Once Upon Time.
The Washington times., 1922-11-19
JUNIOR TEAMS PLAY.

Quentin Juniors and Circle Jun
iors will clash today at 1 O'Clock
on the Quentin field.
Capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1919-1980, 1922-01-30

The Black-and- -Tans are mixing
home from Ireland. After this 1t
is to be marely family quarrel.
Capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1919-1980, 1922-01-30
Highlanders File
Answer to Suit of
Bennett for ST, 200

Answer to the $1,000 suit
brought by J. A. Bennett against
the Royal Order of Highlanders
was filed In the circuit court, al
leging that the defendants had
paid $400 Of the sum due on the
beneficiary's certificate.
Bennett states In his complaint
that he paid 800 annually into
the order under the agreement
that he was to getit back after
twenty years In like installments
and that he has now paid the full
amount and that the lodge refuses
to continue its policy OF paying
back the money.
The lodge states that since the
plaintiff took out his certificate
there has been change in the
laws of the order, making the
sum payable only In case OF
death.
Capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1919-1980, 1922-01-30
Orange and Lemon
Crops Hard Hit by
California Frost

Washington, Jan. 80. - The
damage caused by the recent cold
wave in California to the orange
crop will amount to 20 to so per
cent depending on locality and to
the lemon crop about 35 per cent,
the department of agriculture said
In statement today based on re-
ports from Its agents In the state.
The statement added that 1t
would be about two weeks, how
ever, before complete estimates
could be made.
"The damage from the cold
wave in the citrus region Of south
ern California Is very spotted"
said the statement. LOS Ange-
les, San Bernardino and River
side counties being the hardest
hit"
Capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1919-1980, 1922-01-30
BY Harrison Vaughn

When Napoleon led his victorius
armies through Europe, his worst
enemies were not the nations de-
Tending themselves against his
smashing onslaught; but he was
confronted by the grayer question
of how to provide nourishing and
strengthening food for his SOL
diers.
The Great Corsican realized
long over a century ago, as has
every commanding general since.
that mems bodies must be perfect
ly nourished II they are to retain
their natural strength, energy and
vigor; in fact, that the very
health Of the human being is
regulated almost entirely by the
stomach. Undertaking, insult
ficient nourishment, means loss OF
flesh, anaemia, lack of red blood
and subsequent weakness Of the
entire system.
What such people need to en-
able nature to bring back their
strength and vigor, restore their
lost weight, and put them in fight
ing trim, with rich, red blood
courSing through their veins is
Tanlac, the powerful reconstruc-
tive tonic and body builder.
A man or woman suffering from
sour stomach, bad breath, bilious
ness, indigestion, or gas on sto-
mach, is untitled either for ply
sical or mental labor. Sufferers
from these ailments find life a
burden; they look on the world
through blue glasses, the Joy and
rewards Of the vigorous, happy,
normally healthy person is not
theirs Their troubles embitter
them against the world, destroy
their ambitions and make their
lives dull and unhappy.
How foolish to continue in this
conditions when every hand
throughout the length and
breadth Of the land, people by
Capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1919-1980, 1922-01-30
Hooper Says
Rail Board
Needs Power

New York, Jan. 30.-The only
practicable. effective and just
method the government can sci
UP for the adjustment OF railroad
labor controversies is adjudication
by a Joint tribunal, whose decis-
ions shall be enforceable by suit
able penalties, Ben w. Hooper,
public member of the United
States railroad labor board, told
the civic federation In an address
here today.
This was added by Mr.. Hooper
to his other five propositions look
ing toward equitable settlement of
railroad disputes. These were:
THAT efficient and uninter-
rupted transportation is indispen-
sible to the public welfare.
THAT the carriers and their
employees jointly owe such trans
portation to the public.
THAT the federal government
has the right, as a matter of con-
tract. public policy and police
power, and owes to the people the
duty to insure such transporta-
tlon.
That the governments duty
and the peoples rights are violated
by permitting railroad controver-
sies to be settled by economic war
fare.
That. IL railway employee are
deprived, for the promotion of the
common good, Of the legal right to
striks, some other remedy of equal
Or superior efficiency must be pro-
gided.
"If the congress- Of the United
States would confer upon the rail-
road labor board the power to en-
force Its decisions, there is not a |
railway in the United States that
would not be brought into prompt
compliance with the rulings OF the |
board"