davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-03-12

he becomes an immortal no. ealy
on sooount Of his name. Bat on 20
count Of his occupation. Mr.. Snif.
for b the garbage inspsctos ef his
town.
Nik XIX. Of Grand Rapids. Mia,
comes to bat with the sAoetsst
name and one which 10 particularly
appropriate. Mr.. XIX II the bailiR
Of the police court there and 10
knows how to apply his name 70
the hoboes - he gives thsm the
buns rush.
1t 10 long stsp from NH XIX to
Marmaduke Kfllicrankis McFsath.
srstonshaugh. but . Scotchman Of
that name. which 10 20 long that Il
extended across two pages of .
hotel register. landed on our
shores some time ago. He was
said to have not only the longest
name. but the shortest memory On
record. Mr.. Northumberland.
It IL alleged. forgot to pay his
board bill
We might mention . few moro
such - HI Priest. Rankin JustuA
Joe Rose, Link Blink. Jen Nsfi and
Ole Oleander. but the list will
prove nothing ~ b where the
names come from.
There's nothing In . name, any
how. There 10 Senator Csrroway,
for instance. He 10 said to be one
Of the best dresssrs IN Washington.
There ID nothing sesdy about Car
rowsy.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-03-12
BY Isle Bell

the lady he murmured: THE bet
ter half has never been told" His
tory does not say whether the bet
ter half was the upper or lower,
but whichever way you take it. It
was unconventional At least. II
required some kind of energy.
whereas II she had simply ap
pesred in . Queen Mother Hub
bard. Solomon might have had .
little thought left over for his
thousand wives.
There Are . few wives left IN the
world who will 90 % far a. to
shave the back Of their husbands
necks. but It took . Delilah to
carry tonsorial operations to their
logical conclusion. II was not con-
ventional for her to give her hus-
band . haircut. and when she did
1t probably the ne1ghbor women
talked about her. Perhaps they
figured that Samson's pay had been
cut and he and Delilah were try.
ing to cut down expenses.
OF course. they had no way of
finding out the real reason; that
Delilah was taking in outside vamp-
Ing. And even though We may not
consider her . good example, We
must admit that doing the uncon-
ventional thing involved consider
able work.
Coming down the historical high.
way again. look at Henry the
Eighth. He was rough on Wives
which doesn't necessarily make
him the cow entional husband. Be-
Ing . King Of England. he felt at
liberty to change his domestic re-
lations whenever he felt like It.
but he had to set mp . new church
and do other unconventional things
while he was about It. The mere
fact that he was strong for wives
indicates how energetic he must
have been.
Fundamentally. Of course. Eve
herse'' did the unconventional
thing when she started the fashion
Of keeping the doctor away. True,
the doctor hadn't even been called.
But Eve was really taking q bite
at the conventions a. we'll % the
forbidden fruit
Adam was one Of those steady.
conventional fellows. He carried
life insurance, dressed oonssrya,
lively. voted the straight ticket and
took q bath on Saturday night.
Eve was tho insurgent. the new
woman. She believed in suffrage.
short skirts. cigarette smoking and
not too many babies.
'shs was unconventional; that's
why she started things.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-03-12
City Life Snapshots my Barber

\ r barber IL - glad .An win
N When In get = shave look what he doss 10 me-
70 in just to get that shavs-I tell him right fat.
But he's eut half hair before know what he 10
He Il q very honest but, leaving Il to him.
There 10 . time when I don't badly need a trim.
you hair this week." really
But sir" he politely. ct long behind"
And he shears sorrs locke and spite Of I'll do,
He talking, and he adds pleasant shampoo.
When round to view the clock and reckon
He squrts = four-bt tonic my unsuspsotins knob.
And then he rssrstfuly he's vsry much afraid
My hair will not lie properly without nice pomads
do not want pomads at all promptly tell him
He says. ALREADY Il 10 on" and let 'sr so..
II my mind wandsrs for q triss to any other place
He's his rubber busxsr and hss face
There dnslns In hand, Of that I'm very sure.
crane neck and the blonde and dainty manicure
Say, II did not ask for your attentions Little One"
She 'Oh, I'm but the job nearly DONE
The sinner puts acss In old tan shoes more
Although he pair In than bsfor,
When - In figure q very slight expense,
When come out find bill four dollars sixty esns
My barber 10 q will see.
But whom 20 In for shave. look what he does 10
cspynshA isaa BY Star Co
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-03-12

Co&itatiOns OF q Cuckoo
TvHHY IN Rssa. ~ ssssk 49,
sv~ aaA y eat
Looks theusA snssody dis 4 6lass
one hv,anoss 4 =. AArd+ss ,srsea ssassanass
Dockstboek sf
szxa,ssr TO % xs.A.. but Ia. ,s
psaes he - ~
Dsatsd he's Inst arrived He no
ne great sesdar 81 ct 4
Times Square subway stsaicA- ~ ~
Dr. nays always
under the imprsssioa tAsy "a vssy easily.
sosisty being
always Knows somebody has designs o. her
SOME PEOPLE DgLIEvE-
Ruth author Of The Bat"
Mater actress ~.
Kitchen b . <~t =
Dorothy Dalton . little sister a the Dalton Boys
Ami cleaning powdss. I
Chshspn alias q Charlie OAayfh
always
how to act IN society
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-03-12
Discovering America

A MDRlCA. she sss discover
"a two. tree times. First gly
discover America, she sss
ny oountrymans. Chris Columbo.
maybe Dsrhapsly 81 Get 80 mot
John Cabeoteh from Insiand or
Leaf Errickson from d. Sweden
horgians 1sst sss not settle ut.
d Jury. she 80 still out
Da second guy who discover
America 49, d imp. wilhelm Of
d Germs, who discover est IN 1917.
I'll say she did. Da Kiss. she not
know America ses here and first
thing she know. America sss not
here, Get eos over there By d Rins
River. making d shootfest By d.
Hindenbug line an Do Kiss he now
By do woodpils IN Dutch and chop
ping set and saying TO himself be-
hindtimss: II wsssh ct I not ais
cover America % moocA BY sob
mariners. She sss bad discover
for me to make Get. I make Get
no moro d. discover for nobody"
Som d. guy b. d Hoststt alma
aacker. she say Amerioa sss dis
cover BY Standard OIL Co.. which
ses more poetry - truth perhaps
but not necessarily 70 ssf you not
believe It. 30 esf John D. Oily.
TELLER not discover America he got
It now. 20 what d differ sss II. !
ask you.
But no matter who discover
America. ct 80 Chris Colum who
gotta an d statuary Of the same
an al d blame attaching 10
which,. An after he discover
America. they name desc country
after smother guy name Americas
vespucci, who was Q merry cuss.
IN = Joking way 20 which I say sst-
Chris Colum know he discover
America, but he never ind out why
and nobody - yet has discover
Why America sss discover. Esf
she was never discover. she would
not 10 Dry and william Jenny
Brine, he not b o. CAootaw cir.
ssit making d spi.ch and lots Of
ether things woslA not b 20 Ike
Many peoples make d bssg fnss
eseanss Chris Colun disoovss
America. which think sss not %
nooch. Dsf h sss coming this
way. how caA he msss est Bef
hs SAN west hong s,oush 10 surs
boomp into 81. which sss not such
. bad idss for sdvsrtising IN them
ancient days. A guy 20 out new
times an discover Q bottle Of red
ink tor drinking purposes. he sss
some disoovsring guy. believe ne
which. He got Chris Colum
mashed 10 d last.
Well, sst all happen iika dsss:
Chris Colum, she ees . woppish
person who 80 tired staying BY d.
home house With wife an % forth
and hs say cot: II win travel
arour some ana see sst Do world"
He amt never sssn d woolwort
building or Do Green Itch village
Follies or noting with excitsmsnt.
not even do sobway.
30. he got Get NO ssoasy. which
prove he sss great genius. But
chris Colum hs wants 70 msta
sees tresp very mooch. 20 10 say 70
d wise msa. he say sst, "Da
WORT she roun' eos lika % Babe
Ruth knocking ball"
you . liar ees." said da wise
meat ia wozv she 80 nat ukA
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-03-12
By Tony the Barber-Per Roy K. Moulton)

worl' she ess fist-ver nat. Eef
you live aroun' my court for awhile
you will think like me eet sss YER
dat / got Get no money. an even
eef I have got eet. I give It to mo-
Wop to 90 discovering with Get 90
make Get d. getting away"
But Isabeller. she 10 differ. ~
most wives are, sometimes an she
believe Ferd ees . pruns. She not
know sef d. worl' ees roun' or nat
an she not care. but whenever
Ferdinand say anything she know
he ees wrong. 20. Of course. she
believe Chris Colum ess right. IN
just ~ Chris 10 tipping d hat
checker to 80 home By d doorway
she yen:
Hesitate. Yoa shan make eet
do tresp. I will heck my GROWING
jewels for expense"
"Har says Tsrdinard h kinsly
smoker. = f,ns lot Of Jewels you
got sst From Do Ave-and-tsn they
come. with d money you get on
them Jewels. Chris Colum will have
to 90 roun' da worl' in d row.
boat"
They are good Jewels" she
said; mot the ones you give me-
when We ses married." which ID q
hot shot lika do ladies they know
how to shoot Get when vexed.
Do. Queen Isabellsr. she 90 By
d. Uncle on da corner Of Bullring
avenue and Omelet street. Spain.
an she pawn do jawelry.
Thanks, Belle said Chris
Colum, Il zee half crazy to - By
da boat on cot an goods bye. What
continents I find / bring back to
you. o mia carissma!" he said.
Il choke you hope" said Kink
Ferd. an with these kind words
Chris Colum he set sail with three
boats name d. Pinty Marian. do
Pinochls an do Ninespot. and he
sail for many days. which there
ees noting else to do but sail. and
after awhile they ketch eight Of da1
Canary Islands. which Chris Colum
he name after Queen Isballer. for
he says she sss . bird ssf there
ever ees one.
so thees eos Americai" says
Chris a. he Jump of d. boat and
stick da nag cen do groun'. Stay
there. Spinach nag" he says. until
do Spinach-American war in 1888"
Da Indians they come BY da
beech for pow-wow and both sides
agrees to sink al their sobmarins
an blow OPP da cannons and scrap
do battlesheeps and have peace an
they do 80 an da peace she last
long time, nearly three. four days.
Then Chris he sail back to Spain
with couple Of Indians for proof
an he say to Kink Ferdinand: II
told you SUCH"
30 Chris he maka two. tree more
trips to desc islands. but he never
lam in New York, which he eesI
lucky guy at that an he never see
Columbus Circle. which spares him
quite . mooch embarrassment
When Chris 30 hons last time
they put hesm in jail house. which
IL penalty for discovering America.
But he could not do ia same to-
day. for he could not AFFORD to buy
da egg to stand by da end on eet.
90 that ses AL there sss Of such.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-03-12

cspyrishA isaa BY Star Co
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-03-12

Great Britain Rights Reserved
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-01-10
AUTO OWNERS PAY S1,147,265| INTO
 STATE TREASURY
$917,912 Goes Into Special Fund for Construction and Maintenance of Public
 Highways
By FRED H. GORMLEY Montgomery Bureau The Age Herald, 22l-2 First National Bank Building

Montgomery, January 9.-(Speeial.) Automobile owners paid into the treasury of the state, counties and city S1,147,265 for licenses during the fiscal year which ended September 30 1921, according to figures made public by the state tax commission today.
 Of this total amount, the state treasury received S917,S12, which was placed in q special fund for the con- stIuction of public roads and high ways and for the maintenance or those already constructed.
 Persons interested in the highway bond campaign pointed with pride to the figures after they were an nounced. They supported previous declarations that the coll 1Son from motor vehicle licenses wasfla be suf- ficient to pay the interest of the highway bonds which will he useu if the vote in the election anhRis 30 is favorable, and after thHH ateres has been met annually the remain der of the fund will ne sffsseikN 7 maintain the roads and eg prov z a sinking fund for the retifeneai or the bonds as they become due
 During the pre- 4eding faca ear the total revenue from arto lig nses was s1.001.245, of which the sta re- oefved ssS2,aS0 When the lice SC act was passed in 1914 the total collec- .tions for the first year were s113,- 350. of which amount the state re- ceived s6S,01O, or 50 per cent of the total
 The state now receives so per cent of the total
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-01-10
PEPPER NAMED ID
 SUCCEED PENROSE
Will Be Candidate for Entire Penrose Term, Expiring
 in March, 1927
By Associated Press


 Philadelphia, January 9.--George Wharton Pepper, widely known Phil adeIphia lawyer who was appointed United States senator by Governor SprouI to succeed the late Boise Pen rose, will be a candidate for the en- tire Penrose term expiring in March, 1927, he announced today. The ap- pointment holds good until the No vember election. Mir Pepper, if is ex- pected. will be candidate at the May primary for the nomination.
 MT. Peppers announcement coupled with a statement by the gov ernor that he expected Mir Pepper to be candidate for the complete term, ended spee,,' on as to whether MT. S foui W6H uself run for the office fais eA The governor s statelHaa5 e4ms s surprise to some lls frsna He had the un- preet H5sa unity of having been twsRt ia ositfon to resign the raVef stlip tt take the senator ship, msts llremah the death of Sena- tor Knox snd then by the passing of Senaf6 FsHroses It has been ex- pecte5 in some quarters that he would hs eaud .te for senator and if elected tAKe si seat after his term of office txpiraU ext January.
 Mr. Pepper statement, said the tender of the senatorship had been made without any restriction. express or. implied. upon his freedom of choice respecting his term of serv- ice.
 The governor in his announcement asked for full support for Mir. Pep per fin the hope that he may remain in the Senate and be given an oppor- tunity to render superb service"
 MT. Pepper left for Washington to- night and will be sworn in tomorrow.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-01-10
'777'777 T777'-ss'-7-7 7I'777777'i7l777llf7--'
 WOMAN TO HANG
Mississippi Governor Notifies Sheriff
 to Go Ahead With Preparations


 Jackson, Miss, January Especially Governor Russell has notified the sheriff of Scott county to go ahead with preparations for the hanging of two negroes, Pattie Perdue, a woman, and Leon Vivarett, next Friday, the state pardon board having declined to interfere with the mandate of the su- preme court These negroes were convicted of the murder of Alton Page, white man The crime was most barbarous. the victim having been knocked in the head and killed, his arms and legs cut off. and the trunk half-way buried in negro graveyard. Lynching being feared the pair were brought to Jackson for safekeeping, and are here yet await ing the coming of the strong arm of the law.
 Robert Johnson, Jr., another negro, was to have been hanged in Chicka- saw county, but the pardon board rec commended communication of the sen tence to life Imprisonment and the governor has agreed thereto.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-01-10
SEIZED SCHOONER
 ORDERED RELEASED
British Vessel to Be Returned But Members of Crew
 Will Be Prosecuted
By Associated Press

Washington, January 9.-Orders to return the British schooner Messen- ger of Peace to her owners were sent today to United States District At torney Ticker at Raleigh. N. c. by the department of justice.
 At the same time, officials said, MT. Ticker was instructed to bring such prosecutions against the crew of the vessel for violation of the national prohibition act as the evidence gath l. cred by the federal authorities would warrant.
 The Messenger of Peace was taken into custody last week by the coast guard when she was found stranded off the North Carolina coast with a cargo of liquor aboard and Is being detained at Wilmington, N. C. Return of the vessel to her owners, officials explained, is necessary under inter national law because of her foreign registry, but any infractions oi American law by her crew render them liable to prosecution.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-01-10

"The county will save S3S,- 900 by cutting facilities nt Hill- man hospital--and scores of help less, dying men and women will pay with their lives"
 This was the summing up of the Rction of the board of reVe- nue by a Birmingham citizen yesterday, discussing the recent action of the board in closing one ward of the Hillman and limiting operating expenses of the staff.
 "We will cooperate with the board" is the brief remark of Dr. E. F. Hogan, when asked regard ing the possibilities that there might be some way to alleviate the suffering among the poorer class in Birmingham.
 'sThe nurses. internes and my- self will do our utmost to live within the income Rs furnished us by the board" continued Dr. Hogan.
 And today the HillmHn is crowded with helpless, broken wrecks of humanity, some on cots, some even huddled on binn-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-01-10
HARVEY IS INJURED,
 BUT WILL SOON BE
 OUT, SAYS D0cTGR
By Associnted Presa

Cannes. January 9.-Ge0fSe Har- vey, the American ambassador to Great Britain. who was injured in an automobile accident this morning had recovered to such an extent this evening that his physicians said he probably would be able to attend Thursdays session of the supreme council.
 Any fear that complications might develop from Mir Harvey's Injuries were dissipated this evening by an examination made by the doctors who said that 3s hours of rest and quiet probably would be all that would be necessary for the patients complete recovery.
 David Lloyd George, the British premier. and Aristide Briand tho French prime minister, visited Mir. Harvey during the day. %
 Myron T. Herrick. the American ambassador 10 France. replaced Mir. Harvey today in attendance on the session of the supreme council. He also will be present at the session tomorrow.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-01-10
OPERATING COSTS MUST BE REDUCED,
 WALLACE DECLARES
Iiy Associated Press

Philadelphia, January 9.-To bring about q normal readjustment in ag- riculture, and through it. industry, railroad deficits must be met by reductions in operating cost rather than by advances in rates" Secre- tary Wallace. of the Department of Agriculture declared in an address tonight before the Traffic club of Philadelphia. Agriculture. he said urgently needs the adjustment of freight rates on farm products to point at which they bear about the same ratio to the price the farmer received for those products as pre- vailed before the war"
 It would be better for all inter- ests. the secretary continued, if dur ing the reconstruction period, gen. eral price level about SO per cent above the pre-war normal could be established and farm prices brought UT to this level rather than that other prices be forced down to the level of agricultural products. But this seems impossible at present. he said. so "other prices must come down as agricultural prices come up until the normal relation is re- stored"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-01-10
Ford to Confer
 Personally With
 Weeks This Week
By Associated Press

Washington, January s.-Henry Ford will confer in person with Sec retary Weeks "the latter part of the week. on his offer for lease and purchase of the Muscle Shoals ni- trate and waterpower project
 The war secretary received let ter today from MT. Fords private secretary advising him that Mir Ford and his engineer advisors would come to Washington at that time. Secretary Weeks said the exact day of arrival was not given and for that reason the conference scheduled for Wednesday, might be postponed. Should Mir. Ford arrive in time to keep the engagement Wednesday,, Mir. Weeks said he would hold the conference on that day.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-01-10
-------------- s----------- CONVICT WELFARE DEPARTMENT MAKES
 UNUSUAL PROGRESS

Montgomery, January 9.-tSpeeial) Evidence of the great progress of the welfare section of the state conNict bureau on it's campaign for the eradi- cation of illiteracy from the prison camps of the state was given today when figures were made public snow ing that only 947 of the 2,s2o con victs in prison January 1 were unable to read and write.
 This record Is compared with 1,455 who were unable to read and write of the total prison population of 2,336 at the close of the fiscal year, Sep tember 30, 1920
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-01-10
CYST OF THE NEWS
GENERAL.

 Radical revision of Ford proposai will he necessary. Reactions follow carly advance m cotton prices. Further progress made in selling general list.
 STATE Funeral of Col. R. E. Kyle is held nt Gndsden. One hundred bales of cotton burned In fire at Athens. Albany Decatur not unit in urging schedule changes.
 LOCAL sunday amusements debated py ministers at Axis luncheon Railways want rate parity to ports of soutk. Mrs. simonson to speak here for foundation fund. Harrison asks referend"" on dance question. O'Neaf discusses Frank transaction in opposing Lacy pardon. Petit becomes business manager of Age-Herald.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-01-10
INVERTEBRATES CLAIM UNTRUE DECLARES SENATOR WILLIAMS
Declares Expenditures Made Without His Knowledge False as Hell, Says
 Mississippi Senator
By Associated Press

Washington, January 9.-DecIa-
 ration by Senator Newberry of
 Michigan that expenditures and
 contributions in his campaign
 against Henry Ford were with
 out his knowledge, was described
 by Senator Williams, democrat,
 Mississippi, in the Senate late
 today as ..false as he'll"
 Holding aloft Senator Newberry's s original statement, Senator Williams asked: "Is there a man within the sound of my voice, who believes it! It is a horrible thing to accuse man of perjury"
 Then turning to half the senators in the chamber and asking if they believed it, without receiving so much H. d nod, the Mississippi Senator banged his desk and shouted; You know it's as false as hell
 Senator Williams, standing on the republican side of the chamber oe- rlared some of the editors were the billy goats of their localities who rot for paid acvertising but to ad- socate Newberry's election.' He de- .tre some of the editors were the 4.llvgoats of their localities who were paid to lead the goat herd.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-01-10
WEIGH REELECTED
 HEAD OF HEAL I H BOARD OF ST A F
Is Only Person Nominated and Named for Five Year Term by Unanimous
 Vote

Montgomery, January 9.-(Special) pr. W. S welch of Talladega, for five years state health officer of Ala bama, was reelected for term Of five years by the state committee ot public health in annual meeting at the health building Monday after- noon.
 pr. WeIch was the only person nominated for the position and was elected by the unanimous vote of the committee.
 Governor KiIby, who was made ex- officio chairman of the board ot health by the health law of l9l9' presided at the meeting.
 This was the last act of confer ence which continued throughout the day and during which Dr. Weich made an informal report on the work of the health department during the past year. This report will bep laced in book form as soon as possible.
 Dr. Weleh became head of the pub lie health work of Alabama as the successor of pr. W. H. Sanders or MO bile, who was forced to retire pe- cause of i'll health after long ser vice as state health officer. since ne became health officer great cNten- |
 work "a nc N the aegfon of'Sae aslH- flature in 1913 the annual sppropfla l tion from the state treasury TOT health work was increased from $2o, 00o to $125,00e. In addition to this amount the United States pupH' health service and other agencies are sending about s100,000 more into Ala bama annually under the direction oi the state health department. makin nE
 a total expenditure of $2eo,ooo II health work each year.
 Members of the committee or puple boalth who were present at the meet ling during the day were Dr. V. Y Gaines of Mobile, Dr. W. R. Jackson Inf Mobile. pr. w D. Partlow of Tus- caloosa. Dr. s. G. Gay of Selma pr B. L. wyman of Birmingham, pr IT, , $ Ward of Birmingham, Dr. K. S- Hlii i of Montgomery. Dr. J. N Baker oi Montgomery and Dr. ". $. Britt o' Eufaula.