davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star., 1922-11-28
26 other good Articles, De-
partments ard Editorials, on


partments ard Editorials, on
5ubjects such as:
Who ARE the Tax Dodgers.
How the Bur. of Standards
HELPS BUSINESS;
SELLING the Subsidy to Farmers;
What it costs to run a ship:
How VIC GUARD our Foreign
Investments:
Fred keily's HUMAN NATURE in
Business:
How to get ALL the HEAT
from your Coal?
DO our Movies hurt us abroad:
Teaching Farmers HOW to Sell;
How much can
Rv. President EARN"
Save Gasoline-put AIR in your tires:
WHY should Europe
pay her Debts?
A college-half study. half work.
The Douglas Map
tells Business Conditions:
What Organized BUSINESS is doing:
Fourteen SENSIBLE editorials:
The Washington times., 1922-06-11
The Busy Mans Daily Dozen

.. Tie necktie on way TO apart
ment elevator.
4 Dogtrot to subway kiosk.
buying paper on the way.
5. Work the old football-rusn
tactics to get into subway car.
8. Miss 1t. Then try low tackle
on fat man. throw him and climb
into next train.
Z. Elbow and shoulder exercise
and footwork until train gets down
town. mo deep breathing.)
8. Wrestle for ten minutes with
turnstile against incoming crowd.
0. Hike ave blocks to ofics.
10. Elbow I'VE men and seven
stsnoss ont Of the way b Get into
elevator.
IL. Fight for q place to hang hat
and coat.
II. Jump from coat room TO
orice stool. IAN ling ON It one min.
ute ahead Of timA -
The Washington times., 1922-06-11

daily desen" 10 quite the
fad In the way Of morning
= exercise for busy business
men. After taking these for . few
the average business
man can 90 cut and whip his
weight In wildcats and give every
wildcat three bites handicap.
But. on the subway circuit--ah,
that Is something else again. On
tho subway circuit It 10 generally
the case that n . hard-workins
guy 10 i've minutes late he finds
somebody else sitting on his Office
stool and wearing his alpaca coat
and sleeve garters.
80 with the busy business man
who has to get down town and
punch the clock. the usual daily
dozen 10 a. follows. all fairly good
exercise:
1. Jump out OF bed, into clothes
and wash face. (Three mottons.)
.. Grab cup Of coffee and two
slnkAfS h. .#. .fa
The Washington times., 1922-06-11
Story with an
Impossible Ending

n ER. WHITE. who lived next
W door to Mr.. Black. seeing
' that gentleman on the front
porch. hoped over the fence and
closed in on his neighbor for .
friendly chat A few minutes b.
tore Mr.. Black. thinking Of nothing
In particular. had detected that the
White lawn showed symptoms Of
needing q haircut
Friend White opened the meet
ing BY offering Friend Black .
cigar. observing that that gentle
mans face was unadorned with the
usual Coster beach-signal.
ANY ladies' PRESENT. asked Mr.
White. soto voce. or even less than
that. Being assured that Mr.. Black
was very mucn en- stag. Mr.. White
took the trail up as follows:
Have you heard this one. Guy
sprung It on me to-day, buzz. buzz.
buzz. etc. Amt that rich?"
Mr.. Blacks silvery laughter IN.
dalating the shades Of night
seemed to make It q propitious
moment to open up an importsn,
subject.
Il suppose you have noticed that
my lawn Is looking like q poet in
success" resumed Mr.. White.
What l really came over for waf
to tell you that ! have bought
new lawn mower and won't nsef
70 borrow yours this summAsi.
The Washington times., 1922-06-11
Not What He Meant.

AN old scotchman. David Gordon.
" who was seriously Ill, had been
wheedled by his relatives into max.
ing a win. They we're gathered
about his bedside watching him
sign II. He struggled as far as
Da.v-i, then fell back exhausted.
ID. Uncle David. D." urged q
nephew.
"Dee!" calculated the old Scot.
with feeble indignation. "Tll dec
when I'm ready. ~ ayaricious
vrsteAis
The Washington times., 1922-06-11
The Actors Boast.

Owes" observed { boastful bust
ness man to his actor friend,
your profession may be a very
lofty one In an artistic sense, but
that Of = successful merchant 10
much better. Look at me At the
early age Of forty-fve, retired on
my fortune and presented by my
fsllow.merchants with an illumi
mated address! Can you boast OF
anything like that? Have you ever
had an Illuminated address,"
Il have" replied the actor;
once"
"Whenr' asked the merchant.
"Why." replied the actor. when
my lodgings caught fire.
The Washington times., 1922-06-11
Wit of the Week

the drum o second or so before
you hear the sound Of It."
Yes. sir, but sometimes sound
does reach you first"
Can you give me an examplsr"
"Yes. sir. The new church hall.
Dad said this morning that we had
been hearing about 1t for the last
ten years and wouldn't see It for
the next twentyl"
The Washington times., 1922-06-11

1ieved TO bs a suitable antidote.
Then he administered It.
The result was astonishing. Like
q rocket the recipient sat up and
demanded the season for such
treatment. On being told. he only
became more angry.
"What did I eati" he yelled.
Why. you idiot, 1872 is the num-
ber OF the car that knocked me
downi"
The Washington times., 1922-06-11
II Wasn't Poison.

LIE lay by the roadside, sroaning
~ and writhing with pain. A
policeman. hearing the grosns.
hastened toward him. But all he
could get from the sufferer was
this:
II ate one, tool ate one, tool"
The policeman was puzzled, but
not for long.
"Poisonl" was bis diagnosis.
Poison cases. the policeman 10.
membered, need immediate treat.
ment, and poisons have sntidotes.
Hastily he procured what he b.
The Washington times., 1922-06-11
Small Fish In Q Big Pond.

AN important parsonage from .
"A small Northern town had some
dress clothes made by Q West End
tailor during . visit to London.
He wore them at q municipal
gathering on his return homo and
complained to . friend Of the way
the London tailor had done the joo.
whats wrong with the clothes!"
asked his friend.
TOO small" said the great maa.
Far too SMALL"
well, JOHN" said the other. grin.
ming, you should ha' remembered
you're not such . big man in Lon
don as yop are up bers."
The Washington times., 1922-06-11

Yes, Abilimech, . wife may b
referred to as . mate. but she will
probably insist on being the rrst
mate. although she may be your
second wife. When shipping on
the matrimonial seas you get your
clearance papers from . sky-pilot.
II there are signs Of storm ap-
preaching II don't do any good to
get three-sheets-in. the wind. Just
pipe down and see that your an
chor isn't dragging.
The Washington times., 1922-06-11
Ten Years Of Talk.

tSWHICH reaches you the quick.
" err" asked the clergyman.
sight or soundr
sound. sir" answered Tommy.
smartly.
mo. Tommy, that's not the right
answer. Sight reaches us FIRST. II
you watch . band playing . good
.vay on you'li see the drummer hit
The Washington times., 1922-06-11

served for one reason OF n
A sane person who reads the Con
gressiouai Record to see what Con.
grsss 10 doing a.
A fellow who walks up to an
. internal Revenue agent and tells
him he didn't pay his income tar
A stern bachelor maid who thinks
The fapper IL Just the cutest and
bwsetest thing ever. .s Il .
A henpecked husband away from
Ais. wife for . well-earned rest who
refuses to hift with an especially
vivscious one-piecs bathing beauty
q the beach. .."...
An Eskimp who prefers Times
Square In July to Nome. Alaska
4 punk singer who has to be
soaxed to entertain at . party.
A subway turnstile that isn't
being used by outgoing passengers
% you dash IN with nickel In
your hand to catch . train.
A coffee grinder that goes about
IT'S business without waking up the
neighbors.
An actress who commits suicide
because the papers are giving her
too much publicity.
A landlord who admits it's Ssood'
thing the Legislature stopped him
from raising rents BY law.
"A wife who viii change her plans
for q Summer at the seashore bo.
cause she knows her husband pre-
fers the mountains.
i A Jury that will convict q woman
sf numbering q man.
A Russian refugee In straitened
circumstances In America who
wasn't at least a Grand Duke dur
ing the Cars regina
A newborn babe who doesnt re-
ssmble the richest relative.
A letter from . creditor that,
doesn't break all the postal speed
records In reaching you.
A kiss from your mother-inlaw
that tastes a. sweet a. the one you
got from your wife's sweet cousin
By marriage.
A Susman who hates to see some
one puff on q tat cigar because the
sight Of smoke terrines him.
A so-calied humorist who doesn't
take advantage Of the month Of!
Iune To write stuff like this.
The Washington times., 1922-06-11
wouldn't Occur Again.


"A CERTAIN young woman, famous
"a for her philanthropy, used to
taks an interest In the various luna
10 asylums. On one occasion. dur.
ing Q visit to one Of them. she
svinced great interest in an elderly
man whom she saw strolling about
Ne grounds.
r .How long have you been hersi"
ne asked him.
sTwelve years." came the reply.
After q few more questions as to
his treatment there she passed on.
Turnips to ask . question of her
Gsias, she noticed . smile en- his
fnss, and on asking him the reason
shs was informed that the man she
Asd questioned was no less . per-
seu than the medical superinten-
dent
Al oucs she rushed back to spoi-
sgiss.
u am % sorry, doctor" she said.
sThjs has taught me . lesson
ssvsr to Judge By appearances
asain.-
The Washington times., 1922-06-11
A Few Good Ones

The Beauty Of Superstition.
cHE-whatn We do? There will
~ be thirteen Of us at table.
He-Don't worry; I'll eat enough
for two.
The Washington times., 1922-06-11

No. Dummy. The Charge Of the
Light Brigade has nothing to do
with the Gas Trust The charge
Of the Gas Trust makes II more
correct to say. The Charge of the
Light Brigand." Noting you live
in Brooklyn, when you want TO
commit suicide move to Jersey;
the gas Is cheaper over there. and
a. It IL . much healthier climate
you may want, to remain with the
rest Of US and stsrve to death.
The Washington times., 1922-06-11

No. James. when 'tis said . girl
In fair 1t means. In her Appearances.
not In her treatment Of the rough
sex A. you say. maybe ~ would
bs more gentle II the deeper sex
would be more reasonable. ! note
you have made . close study Of
women; ] like to study women With
one arm around EN- myself!
The Washington times., 1922-06-11
A Prize Poker.

"A. FAMOUS engineer was enter
~ tsinins . distinguished English
rsa bssers showing him ever his
works. The visitor complained Of
tns insisnincsncs Of everything
American ..
swhy." he said. we have . castle
n. Lsndoa with . fireplace - BID
NJ this recm-"
Whsn IN the works the engines
moved his visitor . huge ships
uAsft ..-
pritsa.
-oh.. responded ths engineer
~shsfs . poker vs'rs making 70 d
sssr hrss'Asst' yssss.-s
The Washington times., 1922-06-11

Yes. Caprice. n you sue the hotel
for sjecting you for dining without
formal clothes on you csn correct.
y refer to 1t - = dinner suit. II
you collect, them you may refer to
It ~ business suit II you come
out to the bad you can csii II your
coming out suit You see. you're
bound to be suited. Best way. A.
days. is to dine at Kids. Thea
you're safe from insult to every
thing but your stomach.
The Washington times., 1922-06-11

Yss, Killjoy. some people limp
when they talk because they're
lame in the head; that's what's
called iimp-id speech. They say
soft speech turneth away wrath.
but . soft head hath no ending.
According to this. when you 90 out
into the sun wear your hat: other.
wise your brains win melt entirely
and your head will be full Of
noodle soup. II this happens Let
me know; noodle soup IN the head
Is better than nothing. 'E
The Washington times., 1922-06-11
Yes and No
BY Len Fleming

X/Es. Diszy. . siri- may -
I sweet Is susar Jet mot ss =
refined On the othsr hand.
she may be a. sweet a. sugar yet
bs ~ rsw-if you know what l
mean Noting BY your amusing
sDistls you're an actor and in love
with . member of the ,ssccharins
SEX ] lay you even yoar, BE .
susar-cursd ham before you -
through % e."
The Washington times., 1922-06-11
The Name for the Job.

The Name for the Job.
THE firm was INDUCING in the
! luxury Of . new office boy.
And what's your name7" asked
the rather fippant head clerk.
william Wilson Atkinson simp
son." was the sibilant reply
"Tuttut," said the head clerk,
you'll be wasted here. Why don't
you 90 into the co~ntry and get q
lob - . nightinyalsf-
The Washington times., 1922-06-11

No. Mabel. IN elastic tariff
doesn't mean thsrsn BE- 4 duty on
sartsrs-sIcsptins to hold up.
hosiery - before. Noting you are
. Me clerk in barber shop. come
around and mutiiats my nails
some -dsy-wnsa my wife isn't
home. .r..; -, 3D., .~
The Washington times., 1922-06-11
Few Things asi
Rare as a Day
In June

A WEEK that isn't being oo
"A served Tor one reason or %
The Washington times., 1922-06-11

ceugrisAs as,i sy star Co
The Washington times., 1922-06-11

rsat Rritaia Rights Reserved
The Washington times., 1922-06-11

An Eskimp who prefers Times
Square In July to Nome. Alaska
The Washington times., 1922-06-11

A sane person who reads the Con
gressional Record TO see what Con
grsss ID doing.
The Washington times., 1922-06-11

A subway turnstils that isn't
being used by outgoing passengers
- you dash in with q nickel in
your hand to catch q train.
The Washington times., 1922-06-11

4 punk singer who has to be
eoaxed to entertain at . party.
The Powder River County examiner and the Broadus independent. [volume] (Broadus, Mont.) 1919-1935, 1922-09-29
or nelIle tn

John L. acolleld. state fair AAvtooev
board member for Powder River e00a~
~. left Sunday morning for He1eoa,
taking with him several exhibits 1re0
the County Fair which would ~ Aio.
played at the state Fair.
Miss Thelma Lewis who was elected
to represent Powder. River ccunsy &C
the state Fair this week "a HelAna
left for Miles City Saturday foroooon
and proceeded on to Helena with 1aloo
Nelstead. representative from Carter
county.
Some time last week 4 skunk invad.
ed the chicken coop Of Ernest Preston
near Broadus and killed - chickeue.
Preston dispatched the skunk With his
rifle after It had done the mischief.
A large flock Of geese lowered over
Brcadus Tuesday afternoon but after !
few minutes continued their southwark
flight.
Rev c. 8. Marsolf and +. n. sAer.
lock lost a matched game Of tannso 60
A. p. Ellian and H. r. Straiton and
with 1t q wager for a sumptuous
chicken dinner that was served By
Mrs. Sherlock at her hcme Tuesday
evening.
! Registration books closed Friday
/, afternoon. September 20. Indications
pointed to about a 100 increaes ever
the primary election when 1850 were
qualified to vote.
| Mrs. A. W. Heidel. who sustained
painful injuries last week by . fall
The Powder River County examiner and the Broadus independent. [volume] (Broadus, Mont.) 1919-1935, 1922-09-29

Il II vstsls II P5u1gf hhM tsualy
(Aathorsed and paid for BY J: p; wiliaps.l ~.
ssss sseses s'is s ''' 80
1so4 s,,ss N sss
a s%
connection with the of property for taxation
Section 2002 Rev. Codes 1921 makes the duty Of the
il s' 81
By whom It is wnsd q onay Il e AT 3
With.
board officer has authority to
After e 1ss
the county board Of equalization ln
change assessments such the board may deem
pSsS s he notice and the manner
assessing property REQUIRED by Section 2o92 it.
e ef 'sy III xSic lis Judgment eoree
full the placing Of s such yaSss on on
s's =
sr class Of u1 too e aGe
and correctly represents full cash vas he does he
t them he sf fails ST." to perform his duty ;''' w
AS the situation in your county, nta this is yon
believed to fairly and M presence the er eas es
Of property such approximately twenty cent
less the values placed such property last year This
values placed property by actually represented
full cash value of such property then you not only fully
thereon would have exceeded yor powers and failed to
perform your duty
When board Of county commissioners meets as board
Of equalization the third Monday July such board then
o s III Rev. codes 1911 10 change any
p 1s sS" ont susS @ %
that such board has the % rn after n" ewer
contained the book to equal
conform to the true value Of such property Sections 25 and
PIG authorize reductions when the makes written ap
county board equalization has to change assessment by
increasing lowering the valuation e7cep when application
make change after the owner has been given notice
ard sn notice that 1 the Oh has been n
am
s 1 ,s s s aa s
all w,1su, tn, so ss
s sass hat
ss 1s
the
s @ % ou n' ss court
o u.s. C: cs M Ca S.
you hat sazs completely ps s facts
ns prepy your eGun this year hs not da Of -
made by made violation Of
e ne ,9ses Of
sof
ns so eseation ths Board
sss w s On"
noa with
ssns in County
y s A. 1871 s the burden hs asi sa m
New-York tribune., 1922-05-28
A Child Labor Amendment

Among some New Workers.. natu-
rally enough, is a tendency to con-
gratulate themselves on the ground
that the child labor law decision will
not work damage here. The laws of
TINS state, except as to few minor ex-
ceptlons, adequately safeguard the
welfare Of children, and these laws
are not invalidatcd by the Supreme
Courts action.
But this view, it would seem, is too
narrow. Steadily beating against
state child labor laws is the economic
pressure incident to the fact that the
industries Of one state compete with
those Of another. Should the cotton
factories Of Massachusetts find
North Carolina manufacturers tax
lnG their markets Massachus It's
would hardly retain hor humane
ccdc Similarly, the canning indus
tries Of Maine and Maryland 1clatc
TO the canning industry of New
\ ork. Let no friend Of child labor
laws deceive himself. It is of consc-
ouence here what other states do.
We will tend to level conditions on a
low standard if we do not level on a
high standard.
The only adequate safeguard now
feasible is a constitutional amend
ment multiplying the recent decisions.
Opponents Of child labor barbarities
should at once become active in be-
half of an amendment. The Difficult
ties arc great, but they can be met.
1t has been shown that the Constitu
ton is amenda blc-that the old idea
that the consent of three fourths of
the states cannot ever be secured to
change is faulty.
The amendment should be drawn
in the simplest form and be confined
to the single matter of child labor.
for any sort Of larger general Fed
eral control over interstate com
lnerce would be comhatcd and lead
to complications. 1t is perhaps
enough to say that Congress shall
have power TO prescribe the condi-
tions under which goods made by
children may be shipped from state
to state.
New-York tribune., 1922-05-28
Hettrick, the Mayors Friend

\ little more than two years ago
the Board of Education received
from the Mayor Of New York City
letter practically directing it to re-
scind S15,000.0OO worth Of terra
Gotta school contracts 50 that CON
tracts for Sl6,000.O00 worth Of lime
stone could be substituted,
The letter, which bore the Mayors 5
official signature, had been literally
Transcribed from letter written to
the Mayor by John T. Hettrick. at
that time representing the Brindell
building ring and the limestone in
terests.
When the Lockwood committee. in
the first days Of its investigation.
disclosed Hettrick's connection with
the Brindell gang Mr.. Hylan an
nounced that he had never heard Of
Hettrlck. Later he was compelled to
admit that he had talked with him
and had signed on the dotted line the
limestone letter which Hettrick had
written for the obvious purpose of
changing the mind of the School
Board about building materials. SO
much for history.
On Friday Hcttrick was again in
court and convicted for the second
time,
Hettrick, as the author Of the
Builders Code of Practice. was the
brains Of Brindellsm. At a time
when Mr. Hylan was promising the
city more schools he was writing the
letter to the School Board which,
over the Mayors signature. would
have added vastly to the cost of
school buildings had the Board Of
Education followed the intimations
contained in it.
Hettrick's conviction for the sec
ond time merely serves to remind the
people Of New York City of chap
ter in their political history which
they ought not to forget
New-York tribune., 1922-05-28
BY Royal Cortissoz

| dare say 7 might be dsiving them yet,
but it was suddenly proposed perhaps
as a daylight-saving measure and
urged by the two Reds as we'll as by
my fellow Blue, that go over and play
the first ball. I did so. stepping val
iartly into the water, and with a nib
lick heaved the ball onto the green,
near the cup, then sinking it for a
three, and thereby. as it happened, win
ming the match, the dinner and the pot.
But stay! What do you suppose the
Reds were doing. by that time all four
of them gathered on the green? They
were talking about rules, Of course,
even the two caitiff Reds who in my
foursome had suggested my playing
the wet ball, which suggestion amount
ed, by all the unwritten laws of sports
manship, to cancellation of any dog
gone rule. Ultimately, am con-
strained to add the rules had it. The
Reds got the pot and the dinner But
did they get a shot out of the water. q
good, respectable carry, to within a
yard of the hole? Did they get a
three? They did not. And did. Not
all the constitutional law in the world
could take the essence of the matter
from me. Once more the philosophy Of
golf had come to the rescue. good
shot is R good shot, no matter how it
penalties you, IL you can't get that
consolation out of the game, then,
pray, what can you get?
New-York tribune., 1922-05-28
The Girl and the Pearl

With laws on the statute books
by hundreds of thousands, and with
legislatures swelling the number at
every session, the suggestion that q
new law is needed is not likely to be
popular.
There appears, however, to exist
such need to cover a particular
status of property rights.
A young woman employed as do
ncstic worker in q New York suburb
swallowed a clam, supplied to her
by her employer, and Incidentally
valuable pearl, which was supplied
by the clam. She fell to coughing.
Her employer slapped her on the
back and the pearl came to the sur
face.
Thereupon ensued controversy
as to the ownership Of the gem. The
girl claimed it on the ground that
the clam, with all that appertained
thereto, became her property as soon
as it crossed ner teeth, her employer
having agreed to- furnish her with
board,
The employer asserted that pearls
are not board in any sense of the
word. She agreed that the girl was
entitled to the clam but not to the
,evel. The girl left, taking the
pearl along. The employer now in
Vokcs the aid Of the police to find
her and charge her with larceny.
Here rises a law point which has
never, SO far as we know, been de-
cidcd. Both sides have case. The
girl can contend that had she swal-
lowed the pearl and assimilated it.
its clements reappearing in her per
son as teeth or bones, her employer
would have no right to extract q
tooth or remove any bone tissue.
The employer may reply that
pearls are of too great price to be
fed to servants and that she is JUS.
tilted in unscrambling them from the
clam if she discovers in time that
they are contained in it.
New-York tribune., 1922-05-28

conceivable that it will be used on
1aSt mai liners TO rush mail through
by plane when within easy flying dis
tance OF the coast. Ultimately it
may even prove of real value on
iand. 1t is true, Of course. that until
some method is devised of enabling
an alrplane TO land within a very
limited space aviation fields must
nave long runways, and there is
comparatively little to be gained,
therefore, in using a space-saving
starting device. But it does not re-
qulre much Of an imagination to Wis
uailze 2 time when quick landings
are possible and when there will be
aviation garages eight or ten stories
high with catapulting devices on the
ton floor, from which planes NAV be
shot forth without the danger and
loss Of time incidental to climbing at
slow speed in a restricted area.
Perhaps some Of the dreams Of
tatse who DELIGHT in picturine New
! or in 1893 With aerial committing
seTVie" 70 Boston. Washington and
Wa,- stations arc not so wild az they
.Snctl