Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1922-05-31


Whatever troubles Adam had, his
wife could never say, that he was al
ways vamping with the skirt across
the way.
MORE LEGS
There once was a Undetermined Mable
Who danced on the dining room table
The old men would say
OH isn't she gay
And look at the legs on the table.
Naughty Eyes
In these days of the high altitude of
ladies' wearing apparel, why is it that
mems eyes are like sparrows
Because they fit from limb to limb.
4 4
A Good Understanding
Ardent Admirer-sYo have such
beautiful shapely arms"
Fair 0ne-"Yes, | acquired them
playing basket ball"
Ardent Admirer with dcwncast
eyes)-"Ever play football?"
Deceitful Man
Enraged and fearful wife, John,
you are untrue to mel Here in your
pocket / found this note: Come to the
banquet Your Alma Mater" Who
is this Alma Mater-the dirty cat!"
Lacrosse Man Scores
A friend from Winona visiting a
Lacrosse man inquired of him how
long it had taken to build one of La
Crosses big buildings. Upon being
informed that it had taken year, he
said they had just completed one like
it in Winona in six months. Inquiring
about another big building and being
told that it was six months in building,
the Winona man said they had just
built one like it in his town in three
months. Passing the Rivoli Theatre
the Winona man asked how long it
had taken to construct that fine build
ing. II don't know" says the La
Crosse man;"It wasn't here last night"
FOR sale*Twin BEDS One slight
ly used.
"The truth of this Is apparent, If TIE
poetry is a negative quality insists
Fordman Baptie
1.-THE lightning bug is brilliant,
But it hasn't any mind;
1t wanders through creation
With its headlight on behindl"
=
Over in Paris the latest dictate of
Dame Fashion is for shaver eye brows
Sort of clearing away the underbrush
so as to look better?
Old time politicians bought votes
with flour and new boots, nowadays
they buy 'em with face cream and
Ford accessories.
Now Will You Worry
Worry poisons the system, kills love,
kindness, and generosity, destroys the
ability to think logically, makes the
best food taste like Dead Sea fruit,
fills the road to Sunderland with
briars and brambles and tacks that
puncture, and is never found in. the
kit of the man bent on discovering the
pole of success.
y y
HIS ADVICE
ssYour rife" said the military in
structor, lis your best friend. Take
every care of it; treat it as you would
your wife; rub it thoroughly with an
oily rag every day"
No woman ever saw public opinion
reflected from her mirror.
X X y
Slightly Dazed
Speaking of white mule, two rustic
sports were uncertainty fiiyvering their
way home from the county seat.
"Bill," said Henry, Il wancha to be
very careful. frs thing y know
you'll have us in a ditch"
"Me?" said Bill in astonishment.
"Why I thought you was drivin'."
Not Harming Him
whats the cause of this traffic
congestion ?" asked the dignifed per-
son.
"A live model is demonstrating silk
hose in a shop window" said q Aus-
trated little man on the edge Of the
crowd.
"Shockingl"
'.Maybe so, stranger. Maybe, but
I've been struggling for half an hour
to get a closeup view and so far as I'm
concerned it might as well be a dem
onstration of safety razors. 1-Birm-
ingham Age-Herald.
wooFl Wo0Fl BOW. wow
slow love dogslp the maiden cried,
And then her sutton softly sighed:
Il wish were dog, you know
ooh, well, " said she, perhaps you'll
grow"
They're building houses now with
kitchenettes, large enough for prepar-
ing salads ard making fudge, which
seems TO be about all some of the
modern wives need kitchens for.
4
Flying Low
Silas lin a whisper ibid you gle
a peep at the underworld all the while
Won wuz in New York, Ezry7"
Ezra-"Three times, b'goshl Sub
way twice an ratceIlar orce.p
=
The Weaker Vessel7
She NAV shed tears in tribulations,
But she can come triumphantly
Through twenty-seyen operations,