davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1922-01-02
SQuelched.

A young man from the city went
to the farm for his vacation. Next
morning the farmer rose at an un-
earthly hour. About Z the young
man thought he would be very
smart and came down for break
tast. While .glancing out of the
farmhouse window he remarked,
IT'S a fine morning" The farmers
reply was brief and scathing. TT
was" he said. At.
The Washington herald., 1922-01-02
You Never Can Tell,

When I\resigned my position to
be married my employer jokingly
said, When your husband leaves
you. come back: We are getting so
many grass widows here
Since there were grass widows in
his employ, of course / thought he
referred to them.
1 repeated the remark to the girl
who was to take my place, and
later found out she, too. was a
grass widow. H. S. S.
Our church was giving a picnic.
and l was asked to bring hard
boiled eggs. While at dinner the
minister. who was seated across
from me. asked for an egg. He held
up his hands to catch it and l
tossed it across the table to him.
Ny most embarrassing moment oc-
CURED when I saw the egg running
down his coat and realized that by
mistake 1 had brought uncooked
eggs and left some perfectly good
hard boiled eggs at home.
The Washington herald., 1922-01-02
GDorisB BlakesA Answers
FeA@bLoUe Problems

TO her there would be no reason for
your not calling up her friend some
time
Think This over.
Dear Miss Blake: Would you
kindly tell me what kind of a ring
fellow should give a girl as a
token Of friendship? Thank you.
BLACK JACK.
None. Black Jack, unless you want
the girl to read an engagement into
it and perhaps sue you for breach
of promise IL you fail her in her
altar plans.
The Washington herald., 1922-01-02

Harry Gordon rooms at George
Benton's house. George had a while
family of cats. All Of them drink
milk. So does George.
One afternoon George got a black
eye. You could hardly tell IL was
blacked, but IL was quite swollen.
The court was willing to take his
word that the optic was blacked 1t
happened thus-so he said.
Harry stumbled over a saucer OF
milk at the foot Of the steps. He
sore at the cat, George said, and
then swore at him-and then swore
at the whole world. The men came
to blows. 1t was not clear who hit
first, But George said he was struck
last.
"Ah tole him he was a liah." ex-
plained Harry. "Ah said that ef dat
amt de troof den All is a Iiah.
George said dat All was tellin' de
troof wen All said All was a liah
and den All, said how could All be
tellin' de troof ef All am a hah."
So there we have II. The areu-
ment lasted quite a while Harry
insisted that the saucer was put
there purposely to make him STUN
BILE and then, IL was alleged, the
short and ugly names so commonly
used on Capitol HTlI were brought
in.
You used more force than was
necessary" the court told Harry.
He called me more liahs than
was necessary, too Jedge," COM
mented Harry.
Maybe neither of you are telling
the truth" suggested His Honor as
Harry was fined s1o-and told to
move away from Georges house.
The Washington herald., 1922-01-02
What n Young Man Thinks.

what Young Mln Thinks.
Dear Miss Blake: There is a Gir;
who lives on the same block that
do. She is highly respectable, yet
when the crowd gets together at
some boys or girls house she would
conduct herself so that oSe who
doesn't know her would think
otherwise. 1 know for a. fact that
she likes me, but am always hold
ing myself back, always arguing
whether she is the right kind OF a
girl or not How would you Judge
a girl like that
PUZZLED.
l am printing your letter, Puz-
zled, in the hope some of the fool
ish girls, of which the one you de-
scribe is a type, may see just what
impression their conduct creates in
the mind OF decent young man. I
have looked on with extreme pity at
the performances of such girls
whom l know at heart are right
but who give out an impression or
being all wrong because know
they are going to be taught a bitter
lesson before they are through.
The Washington herald., 1922-01-02
Nothing to Prevent II

Dear Miss Blake: l am a young
man or 81 and, although I hold a re-
sponsible position in a bank, I am
at a loss to how 1 can answer this
question.
Recently a young lady. a friend
of mine, introduced me to a friend
of hers in whom 1 took a great in
terest.
i would like to see this other girl
some time without hurting the
ether girls feelings. What would
you advise me to do7
PUZZLED,
Perhaps the girls feeling would
not be hurt. II you are not engaged
The Washington herald., 1922-01-02

cNpec' a lady LAX me to wear q
gemman's onderclos-does yo'?" HIS
Honah refused to answer.
They won't fit me, either" piped
Ida. "Ah is too fat to get into 'em.
BESIDES. went on Ida. 'Ah doan'
wear silk cause il itches me"
When all the testimony was in il
was impossible To place the blame
on any one for the theft of the
garments, even though Duke was
sure that Ida was guilty.
The court thereupon dismissed
the case and Duke left the court
room unescorted.
The Washington herald., 1922-01-02

Answers to Yesterdays Qu~stion..
l. On what day should our flag
be displayed? February IL Lin
coins Birthday: February %
NashinSton's Birthday: July 4. In
dependence Day: June IL, FLAG
Day; May so. Memorial Day, ana
Armistice Day, November II,
:. What American President was
elected by the largest popular and
eIectoral vote of any? Harding.
j. what is Kelpie? The angry
The Washington herald., 1922-01-02
Answers 10 These Questions VIII
be Published Tomorrow.


be Published Tomorrow.
l. What part of an automobile is
called the sump?
?. What is the greatest number
of field goals ever recorded in an
intercollegiate football game?
3. Why did the Cinnamon wear
pigtails?
4. Who was the first white child
born in America?
5. What is the name OF the family
in which there are two famous
heavyweight wrestlers?
s. What does the three white
stripes, the two blue stripes. and
the two stars in the Chicago flag
signify?
Z. What disease ravages white
populations. but rarely affects ne
groes?
s. What was the estimated cost
OF the world war to the United
States? To Great Britain? To
France? To italy, To Germany?
To Austria Hungary? To all ma
tions?
?. What is Jemappes?
10. What kind of tie should a
man wear with evening clothes
With dinner clothes? With busi-
ness clothes?
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1922-06-22
Notice of Publication,

Regular Term, May, 1922, County
Court of Jefferson County, w. Va.
In the matter of the estate of Barthol-
omew Moore, deceased:
This matter coming on to be heard
this I'd day of May, 1922, upon the
report of Commissioner S. w. Washing
ton, further settling the account of f.
Vaughn Link and Warren Demory, Ex-
ecutors of said Bartholomew Moore, de-
ceased; and also ascertaining the heirs
at law Of said decedent entitled to
participate in the distribution OF the
residue of his estate, after payment OF
legacies, under the Will Of said dece-
dent, filed May LIST, 1922, to which re-
port there are no exceptions, and no
cause therefor appearing on the face
thereof, the same is hereby approved
and confirmed and directed to be duly
recorded.
1t appearing to the Court that a re-
port Of the accounts of the transac-
tons Of e. Vaughn Link and Warren
Demory, Executors Of the Last Will and
Testament of Bartholomew Moore, de-
ceased; and of the debts and demands
against the estate of said Bartholomew
NlooiS, uSSSaSS0, HdS OSSu hiCu III tiS
Office Of this Court, and that more than
two years have elapsed since the quail
fcation Of the said Executors,
on motion Of Robert L. Moore
and Meta Irwin, legatees and distribu-
tees ION behalf Of themselves and other
legatees and distributees) Of the said
Bartholomew Moore, deceased, it is
ordered that the creditors Of the said
Bartholomew Moore, deceased land all
other persons interested), do show
cause, il any they can, on the 9Th day
of August, 1922, before this Court, at
its court room in the said county OF
Jefferson, against the payment and de-
livery of the said estate Of the said
Bartholomew Moore, deceased, to his
legatees and distributes according TO
their respective rights under his Will.
And it is further ordered that
copies of this order be published once
in each week for six successive weeks
in the Shepherdstown Register, a
newspaper published in the county OF
Jefferson, and posted at the front
door of the rt-House of the said
county of Jefferson, and at five of the
most public places in the said county.
where the said Bartholomew Moore
resided at the time of his death, at
least six weeks before the time here
in ordered to show cause.
Teste:
CHAS. A. JOHNSON,
Clerk Of County Court
OF Jefferson County, W. Va.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1922-06-22
4 Dead Issue.

From time TO time. upholders Of the
liquor traffic attempt TO extract comfort
from the results of elections held in
var Gus parts of the country.
Recently supreme attempt was
made to interpret the result Of a con-
greSsional by-election in New York
State as indicating a pronounced swing
toward legislative tampering of the
prohio ton law. In a Republican dis
trict, the Republican nominee was re-
turned TO Congress BY a greatly re-
duced majority. II happened that in
this instance the Democratic nominee
made opposition to the prohibition law
a point in his platform. There were
several other factors in the election, a
reduced vote, disgust over congression-
al do-nothingness, the aftermaths of
the financial depression, and the usual
local group alignments.
But anii-prohibitionists ignored all
other factors and loudly ascribed the
reduced Republican majority to dissat-
iSfaction with prohibition.
few weeks later, however, the pri-
mary election in Indiana was held, and
anti-prohibitionists remained discreet
ly silent over the election. Samuel
M. Ralston was nominated for Sena-
tor by the Democrats by an over
whelmng majority One Of his op-
ponents had made the campaign solely
on the anti-prohibtion issue, and had
been showed under SO badly that it
was not worth while to count the
votes. In several of the congression-
al nominations, other anti-prohibition
aspirants had Jared as badly.
The truth of the matter is that the
public will not consider prohibition as
live issue. Even those persons who
profess the belief that the prohibition
measure was a mistake refuse to let
any worry over its passage interfere
with their 1922 digestion. Prohibition
as fundamental policy is settled,
and the politician who tries to urge
IFS repeal is arguing an issue as dead
as slavery.-Dearborn Independent.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1922-06-22

A telegram to Attorney Wade c.
Kilmer, of Martinsburg, from Roches-
ter, N. T., said verdict and judg-
ment for $4,000 had been entered
there for P. w. Letter, Of Martnsburg,
in his $4,000 suit in the Federal Court
in New York against the American La
France Fire Engine Company for in
juries sustained at Martinsburg by the
plaintiff on December s, 1918, when a
new hose, a part of the equipment Of
Hose Co. No. SIS truck, escaped from
the fremen holding it. The deluge
set broke and in the swirling of the
hose Mr.. Letter was struck, his leg
badly injured and his body otherwise
bruised and cut. As result he was
in the hospital for some months and
his injured leg has apparently been
permanently damaged Suit was
brought originally in the State courts,
an appeal on an adverse decision was
taken to the appeal court, and finally
the case was instituted in the Federal
court. II
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1922-06-22

A touring party were having break
fast in Buffalo. When the eggs were
served, one exclaimed:
"What large eggs"
Said another: Eyes, these are Buff
falo eggs"
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1922-06-22

One way to relieve habtual consti
patton is to take regularly a mild lax
alive. Doan's Regulets are recon-
mended for this purpose. 30c DO,
at all drug stores.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1922-06-22

Cross-eyed lady Ito hump-backed
husband-"Now then let me see you
walk straight home"
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1922-06-22

Seven-room house and an acre {
land, all necessary outbuildings, nea
Duffields. Fruit and plenty OF water.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1922-06-22

Lot on Main street 4Ox203, unim
proved.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1922-06-22
FOR SALE

Nine-room house on Princess street
cellar, garden, electric lights, 2tc.
good, comfortable home.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1922-06-22

Small farm, about IS acres, on the
pike, one mile from a shipp.Ag point
Comfortable house of eight rooms
small barn. Twenty acres Of thi:
place in orchard, in full bearing. pop
ular varieties.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1922-06-22

One brick house, 7 rooms, celia
cistern, large garden, electric light
and necessary outbuildings.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1922-06-22

One frame house OF 10 rooms an
large lot.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1922-06-22

One building lot 90x95 fees, de-
Sirable part Of town.
Wanted, a small place in or near
Shepherdstown, two to ten acres, i'm
proved or unimproved. J. Strider
Moler.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1922-12-21
OUR SHARE is TOO SMALL


forest given statement to the press just IS
n sued District Forester George H. Cecil The staemnt III
full is here given:
received from the national forests OF
gon according to District For
ester GeoE Cecl o North Pacific District
into United states
the forest service United states de-
in
the administration of the Nation
al forests
Nearly four ana of
sit
which afford the
timber sales for the pre-
fiscal l9 pu
they toed W.
qSO 3472 o dwcream identical with those of 1921
of
during part or all OF
of
the the which passing thioo
the mos severe deprossons in it history
Of counties
which they and county authorities for schools ana
II would appear the foregoing that Oregon counties
would receive something like $108000 from the forest income
rovided the Oregon and Washington forest reserve area is
equal The gets direct revenue from the
forest reserves such $108O00 in small amount
for the counties when the vast forest reserves
is considered ..- -
There should be plan under which secure more
revenue from forest severance tax on lumber
from timber has been suggested by
he tax on farm property and homes much unless steps
capes the assessor.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1922-12-21
Winnipeg Wheat
EMfnrCS.

WINNIPEG, Dec. 21.-Wheat, De-
ccmbcr $1.1O S-S; May, S11S 1-2.
July, $l12.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1922-12-21
SERBIAN FAMILY SPAT
ENDED IN APOLOGY

HEtGEAuE Dcc. -i-tA. pn-.
Tn, quarrel between King Alexander
and his elder brother. Prince Gcor-C.
who rcrounvcd his claim 90 the throne
ut Serbia 900 1909. has been brought -
an end hy the action OF Prince Gvorge
iu writing to the King that his actions
w,u. incorrect and offensive. The
quarrel vIs started IN connection with
thp ltters civil list allowance.
Prince Georro concluded his letter
rs tutrDltinr the King Co forget thu
past. and Dc gave assurance that i'm
tha future De- would fHlm his obuca-
tiou- as Sd member of the royal family
end respect its statutes. The dispute.
whi,h vcighed heavily upon the coun-
try, is aow definitely closed.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1922-12-21
|'.II.o';:'r1 Is S1ns
= .<;:..C <J'

10 boy regards Christmas as sue
cess unless he has the stomachache.
! Clemenccau who eats 13 eggs daily
has sailed for home and the mems ear
catch up with their laying
The slight earthquake reported in
California recently was not the ham
mer slayer being captured.
There should be u fortune In dye
ing Christmas neckties another color.
Girls who show good Judgment in
dressing do not show too much.
A bootlogger tells us he bought his
wife a bar pin.
Baseball players have secret lnio1
but are liable to strike out.
Premier Hughes OF Australia was
stabbed with q hatpin, showing Au'-
tralian women have equal rights.
Don't get mad at n man for carry
ing a cane 1t may be present.
There arc many new faces among
the boxers this winter and also some
new faces on the boxers.
A fish lived 267 years in a SWISS
aquarium. Some in streams near here
will live longer than that.
A woman will treat her husband
like 80 cents and demand $9O,Ooo
when another woman gets him.
FFs3a
The fastest thing is opening WIN
dow and getting into bed before the
cold air hits you,
Many a social lion who thinks he Is
n bear gives some catty person
lamb fur coat for Christmas.
After landing q job the first thing
some men think about is getting busi-
ness cards printed
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1922-12-21
IDAHO PLAYERS WON'T .
HAVE CAPTAIN IN 23
MOSCOW. idaho, Dec, 21.-(

MOSCOW, idaho, Dec. 21.-(A. Po
-Universiy of Idaho football players
have voted against electing captain
for next season. At meeting or the
players held to decide what actioI
would be taken on the matter they de-
cided it would be best to do without
team captain for the season.
However since it is necessary that
some one player bear the title OF cap
tain when the team is in actual COM
petition, since the captain is the only
player authorized to represent the
team with officials handling the game,
the players voted that the coach
should have power to designate one
PLAYER as CAPTAIN before each game.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1922-12-21
Ukiah Notes

r. II. Ninson one of the Oldest citi-
zens of Ukiah has traded his 500 acres
adjoining Ukiah for ten acres of gar
den land near Wai,a Wallo.
j. B. Despair is kept constantly busy
filling orders for his many customers.
One could hardly expect such bust
ness could be built up in so short a
time.
L. Olcott and daughter, Mrs. O.
Rust visited in Ukiah on a trading trip
yesterday.
Tom Gurdanc and John Ray were
over yesterday from Mountain valley.
The Ukiah Sawmill, through its gen.
erouS manager, j. T. Huson was a
grand success this year.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1922-12-21
:::7Ealsf> &; )! ( {,oIe8onl!I!a!!n!)
'I--S'--..s.- 49, = -

T 4NI1 W u III I7TE
SUBSCRIPTION RATES
GIN ADVANCED
Daily, one year, by mail .;.;..."...."""@o' oU
Daily, six months, by mail 5.0O
Daily, three months, by mail 1.5O
Daily, one month by mail .................. .5O
Daily, one year by carrier ............'... ~
Daily, six months by carrier.......-... 3.75
Daily, three months by carrier........ 1.9b
Daily one month, by carrier............ .6b
Semi Weekly / year by mail ........ 2.OO
Semi Weekly, six months by mail 1.Oi
Semi Weekly, three months by mail 81
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1922-12-21
e YEARS AGO

(From the Daily East ore%onian'
December 81, 1S94D
Charles Bond goes on the excursion
to Portland.
James Furnish is visiting at /"
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1922-12-21
TILE INVISIBLE SHIPS

IThe frigate with it's press Of sail,
The clipper full of tea,
The whaler and the brig that flew
The flag of piracy.
Like shadows from the drifting clouds
They move across the wave,
These daring navies Of the past
In towering canvas brave,
The phantom conveys of the ships
That rule the seas today,
For 10! their port and starboard lights
First blaZed the stormy way.
-Mnna Irving.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1922-12-21
TURKISH LEADER IS
FAVORITE IN INDIA

pt,rUt India Dec. .I.-tA. p)-
rrhrer airplauos and 81 finely decorated
sword are TO bc presented TO Musto-
~, 1,,ro3l pasha by Indian AohHw-
,n.5,,s MS tokens of their sympathy
,yith his cause. THESE aif,s have been
of,rrc5 fbroueh the Central KhahfaJ
c,p,r,itiec. which recently LAS been i'm
session here. ono ct the lirploues ls
to he given nv the Agra province.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1922-12-21
AN INDEPENDEN

Published Daily and Semi-Weekly' al
Pendleton, Oregon. by the
EAST OREGONIAN PUB. co.
Entered at the post office at Pendle-
ton, Oregon as second class mail MAJ
ter.
ON SALE IN OTHER CITIES
imperial Hotel News Stand, Portland.
ONE FILE AT
Chicago Bureau, 909 Security Building,
Washington, D. c., Bureau sol Four
teenth Street. New York.
Memher of the Associated Press.
The Associated Press is exclusively
entitled to the use for publication Oh
all news dispatches credited to it or
not otherwise credited in this paper
and also the local news published |
herein.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1922-12-21
WHAT CLEMENCEAU DID

1HF New York world says does wholly agree with
everything said during his stay in this country
but regards his tour triumph. In editorial on De-
cember 12 the World said:
M Cemenu exactly the right moment
which
byt ..,,
Ancc o irresistible be-
o s
humiliation And while men "H
their pocket
not long enchanted by policy which succeeds
their ideals time
Those who heard Tigers speeches read them now I'M
dersand pretty thoroughly that the United States
must on with other nations effective plan for protecting
the peace world 1t will involve trouble and some re-
sp6nsbily But troubles and responsibility incident to-
such work will be nothing compared to what we Will nave to
do if another big comes.
To protect against fire damage involves expense and it in
wolves planning but good business just the same he same
thing applies to steps to prevent warfare.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1922-12-21

I see along the ocean lanes
The giant liners pass
In all the pride of snowy paint
And flashing glass and brass,
And all the seas ahead of them
And all the deep behind
Are filled from port to port with ships
With manifests unsigned.
The viking boat with serpent PROV
Adventuring far from home,
The stately Spanish galleon
High popped above the foam'
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1922-12-21

Grande at the home of Mr.. ard Mrs
| r. j. Slater.
Mrs. L. F. Settlcmier will visit for
three weeks with relatives in Salem.
John Carleson who was knocked
down by an engine in the X. r. yards
but sustained no injuries
John Ninson has gone to COrnucopia
on visit to Scott Long. He will stop
at La Grandc cnroute.
j. II. Swart has returned from Will
lows whore he has been running the
o. II. * y. pump for the past month.
David Horne and wife came in from
Mckay Creek and will return tomor-
row with the children at the close of
school.
According tc press reports arthur
Twineham who formerly caught for
the PendletOn BAN team has not only
made good as catcher for the St Louis
Browns, but hos been appo,nted cap
tain for that team for next year.
Charles Horeeman is in town today.
He says the snow is hub deep in some
of the canyons southwest of town.
e. Y. Judd has sent from the east
q set of plans for a new office build
ing at the securing mills which viii
be finished in the japanese style of
1t will be elegantly fit |
ted and will be large enough for all |
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1922-12-21

has, surveys in numerous towns anu
cities reveal, caused enormous econo-
mic and physical losses. which. au-
thorites declare, can be eliminated
Secretary Davis is in deep sympathy
with the movement, particularly WIFE
regard to children
"I am convinced he said recently,
that mankind owes no higher duty TO
society and to God than service TO
childhood, and that whatever we may
he able to do to aid the citizens of the
future will earn q great reward"
Every teacher in the country, ac-
cording to the Council, is potential
crusader for better vision. Teachers
everywhere are being given instruc-
tions for testing visual acuity. Success
Of the movement, according to its
sponsors, will mean definite physical
advance in future generations of Am
orleans.