davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1922-11-26
Quincy Todd on Thanksgiving By Roy K. Moulton

your hired man shovel it into the
furnace. It's terrible. All them
old boys in 1920 had to do was
to 60 out IN tho snow, chop down
q tree, drag 1t to the house and
cut it up with an axe.
when these old birds want
something to eat, all they have
got to do IL to go out and shoot
it and then fight eight or ten
Indians for It. Look what you
got to do. You got to drag your
chair all tho way up to the table
and set down and carve off what
you Want. You have got it tough,
believe me.
when you want a doctor in a
hurry, In the middle of the night,
you have got to go away down
stairs to the telephone. When
those old boys wanted one, all
they had to do was to tramp five
miles through the snow-drifts to
find that the doctor had left the
settlement five months before,
but that another one was expect
ed from England on the next
shipW
IF I want to be thankful"
says Elias Q. Higginbotham, 'T
have got to pay $19 for a turkey
and the whole dinner sets me
back about twenty-five berries.
Prices are too high. That's what
l call tough"
you're right" says Quincy.
'The old Pilgrims have a snap
The Washington herald., 1922-11-26

thing off the top and leave q
little around the edges, which II
very stylish haircut in them an
cient days.
"Then the Indians steal the
turkey and the keg Of rum that
Peleg Prouty is keeping for medi-
cinal purposes and leave the dis
trict until the next Thanksgiving.
Yes, those old boys were sitting
pretty in those days. / do not
blame you for envyihg them"
"They could get something for
their money in them days." says
Elias Q. Higginbotham. "You
could live all winter on eight dol
lars and have q little change left
in the Spring"
"But you wouldn't have the
eight" says Quincy, (which puts
quite a crimp in the matter. I
know one feller that always sighs
for the old days when he used to
rent q house for SIS a month.
He forgets that he was making
only $1s = month at the time.
He Is now paying $3.50 q month
rent and making $500 a month,
but still longing for the old times.
II We could only bring the old
times back once In q while for q
week or two II would do away
with . lot Of squawking In this
country"
"But things Is In an awful
mess" says Elias Q. Higgin-
botham. "Lookit all the shooting
that Is going on, and the mur-
derers going free, and the boot
leggers SO thick they try to sell
It to each other, and the prices
going up, and the war nTurkey,
and the strikes, and the flappers,
and the vamps, and the Euro
peans- refusing to pay their
debts, and q lot of flu going
around, and railroad wrecks, and
90 forth. It Is enough to bother
any guy to find what to be-
thankful for this year."
IF you had any sense, which
yeu have not" says Quincy, "you
would have no trouble finding
something to be thankful for,
1t is something that 1 am thank
full for every day Of my life and
don't wait for Thanksgiving,
either"
"What have you got to be
thankful for, with conditions
what they are to-day?" ]
'T am thankful" says Quincy,
chat they are not worse, which
they could easily be, at that"
Great Hr:. : ,:s*,ived.
The Washington herald., 1922-11-26

A MOVEMENT has been
~ launched to improve the
speaking voice. It should
be recommended to train callers,
subway guards, hucksters and
people who open the dumbwaiter
door and yell, "Whozzit?"
Certain rules have been laid
down which are guaranteed to
cure the twans, the drawl, the
Boston a." and the corn belt
huskiness.
For instance, breathe from the
waist up. II you breathe from
the waist down, you'll never con-
meet with the outside world.
Speak with the front part of
the mouth. If you attempt to
speak with the roof Of the mouth,
It may spring a leak.
Keep the tongue well back.
This not only aids the voice, but
will avoid the danger Of biting
the tongue.
Speak delicately, and don't
overwork the jaws. In other
words, give them an occasional
rest.
Lastly, try to initiate good
speech. Thus, when a friend
who speaks excellent English
. stops you on the street and says,
"May l borrow Q five?" The
thing to do Is not to hand over
the five, but to try to initiate the
good speech. You can do this by
saying, likewise, MAY I borrow
a five?"
In this way, you not only i'm
prove your voice, but you save
five dollars.
The Washington herald., 1922-11-26
f<TV1ELL," says Quincy
w Todd, 81 suppose you
are going to be thank

~ HL' says Suihcy
Nv Todd. 81 suppose you
are going to be thank
full this year again"
II am going to go through the
motions" says Elias Q. Higgin-
bothan, .'but / haven't figgered
out what l am going to be thank
full for this time. It's q tough
life"
Sure is," says Quincy, "when
you come to consider the fact
that you have got only seventeen
steam radiators in your house;
that you get meat only three
times 4 day; that they deliver
milk only as far as your door;
that you have to go out on the
front porch after your morning
paper, and when you want to 20
anywhere, you have to walk at
least twenty feet to your garage
and climb up into an automobile
all by yourself without any help.
Yes, it's tough"
well, 1t is a hard life at that"
says Elias Q. Higginbotham.
"Lookit the taxes I got to pay
and"
I'll say it's hard" says Quin-
cy. when you want something
to eat, you have got to walk way
over to the telephone and order
It from the butcher shop, and
when the boy brings It, you have
got to lift it into the ice-box your
self. I feel darn sorry for you.I
Did you ever happen to know
anything about them fellers in
New England back in 1920, the
first settlers?"
"They never have to settle for
as much as I do" says Elias @.
Higginbotham. Eyes, I do know
one thing about them. They
never paid no ineome-tax and
they did not have to pay no hired
girl $50 . week to pose In the
kitchen every other Tuesday and
refuse to do the washing"
"Those old boys sure had 1t
easy" says Quincy. mo won
der they got up this Thanksgiv-
ing thing. Look what they hadl
to be thankful for. They had a
cinch. They shimmied around in
front Of Q Fireplace with their
stomachs warm and their backs
freezin'. Now, when you need
fuel, you have got to walk way
over to your telephone and call
up the coal company and you got
to 60 to all the trouble of having
The Washington herald., 1922-11-26
Things Not Worth Knowing

TN certain portions Of the FIJI Islands the rarely for
They engaged In digging under tho Rocky
Mountains They tunneg
that would hardly be worth while trouble Of tunneing
them. The tunnel will open airpanss.
pinch Of salt added which potatoes boiled
will add Q slight saline flavor to the potatoes.
Monkeys being trained pick
Everybody else in Venezuela is in the army.
One travel hundred miles in Mexico without meeting
. bandit provided he travels in N airplans.
Christopher Columbus died of broken
about the town in Ohio that had been named his
The who invented transparent dunnns letters
died eight mouned small
! coiHr,so, 1872, .v Sta, G..
The Washington herald., 1922-11-26
Cogitations of a Cuckoo

T HARVARD Q universe II
Harvard keeps her prejudice they also
cover a new university.
women's being goats whiskers and
probably the finer from frogs eyebrows.
AFomer Crown Prince of Germany will write his meoir
is certainly chip Of the old bloke.
The fapper term for aimony ad-money" Of
glad pay it, at that
The Washington herald., 1922-11-26

when 1t comes to getting .
Thanksgiving dinner and they
are the ones who invented this
Thanksgiving thing. No wonder.
When they wanted q turkey, they
took an old blunderbuss that
sprinkled shot all over the town.
ship and went out and perforae.-i
a turkey and while they are walk
ing homo with the bird over their
shoulders, they do not have to do
. thing but dodge arrows. If the
old man gets home alive with the
turkey, the old lady has some
thing to be thankful for, and if
he does not, the result is often
the same.
"He gets homo with the turkey
and they get it half-cooked on a
spit in front Of the open fire and
then they all sit down at the
table and the old man says: For
what we are about to receive, let
US be truly thankful and what
he is about to receive is q TOM
myhawk in the bean welded by
some Indian brave who opens a
window and reaches in. II the
Indians cannot spoil this Thanks
giving feast in any other way
they send one brave up on the
roof to sit on the chimney and
smoke the family out, and when
it is smoked out, the Indians con-
duct a little open-air barber shop
and give these settlers an Indian
haircut, which Ii to take every
The Washington herald., 1922-11-26

have assisted u to our present
high place in the history of
civilization.
Subway cars, elevators, stage
coaches, automobiles, telephone
booths-aye, even apartments
must be altered, amplified and re-
vamped.
The Washington herald., 1922-11-26
Hoopskirts Are Back

V1HAT We have feared has
w come upon US.
The movie fashion re-
views and other agencies for dis
seminating style news prove that
the hoopskirt. has returned. and
now we have got to change all
the modern improvements which
The Washington herald., 1922-11-26
The Same Old Story
- EORGE WASHINGTON kicked because priess were

EORGE WASHINGTON Kicked because price.
high.
Ben Franklin raised Cain when the was 10 buy.
Tom Jefferson hated to reach in his jsans
John Hancock dspored the high Of string beans.
James Madison Aaysd h.rd-shsllsd pro6tser.
Van Buren eommuned the shortage Of
Buchanan knocked prices and said they sssp.
Abe Lincoln remarked the high Of keep.
Ulysses s. Grant denounced all middlsmsn
And Robert E. Lee cen agreed with him then.
Dan Webster complained Of the high price Of bees&
Hank Clay did motif fancy the Of his shoss.
Mckinley thought prices high fer health
And Roosevelt knocked "nalsfaetors Of wealth."
So. we've little kick
The price Of one bite Of hat apple dear
Il Ad his homo and put hin In the clear.
Since then hsvs kicked this pre6sssr sans
But prices keep going just the
So, work q BIT harder little fast
Perpetual motion will SUR at last
And the chairman Of the Harvard COMMITTEE
Economic Research and there will be
years more of high prices.
1t doesn't take highpriced scientist 1t
safer bet than pdng Jack Dempsey against Joe
Beckett.
The professor might have made hundred
would have believed him. We getting the point
we will believe almost anything they say about prices
The only thing absolutely refuse believe prices
that some day, they may be lower
The Washington herald., 1922-11-26

What / Saw
To-day;
Qirst pri.s tile week beautiful
staffsd seldfsh ts hang In dining
1TAND me the goldfish for my
dining room. To-day I
saw q woman help q police
man whom the latter interfered to
protect her from her husband.
You won't get smother one Like
that In some time.
LEON M'DUFF.
To-day I saw q taxicab driver
carry a satchel into the entrance
of an apartment house for q lady
passenger. know you won't be-
heve this, but it ought to win the
Ash- MISS ROSE BUSH.
I saw . man hang his overcoat
up in . restaurant. All the other
men were sitting on theirs, 70 he
had no hope Of making q trade.
COUNT EMOvER.
To-day I saw the strangest
thing. / saw Q man take .
match box out Of his pocket
without shaking It to see II there
were any matches In 1t. He Is
the only man in the world who
has sver done this.
EMMA GRANT.
! saw Q man In Q restaurant
take the top piece Of bread of q
pile and eat Il. Other men take
under pieces less soiled.
JOHN BARLICK HORN.
II I don't win the goldfish 1t
VII not be safe for you to
spen any parcel post package
coming TO your house. ! saw to-
day on the street q man throw
his cigar away when he met his
wife.
HELEN REEP HEETE.
] saw an actor on the street
to-day and he didn't act like an
actor. He walked three blocks
without looking at his reflection
IN . plate glass window.
CHARLOTTE Russo.
To-day saw . homely mani
sure lady. Now / guess l win
the goldfish. II not, it is the last
time l shall try.
GUENIVERE DINGLE.
! think win the prize. I saw
. man come out of a telephone
booth smiling and saying: "Well,
that was quick work"
MRS. PEARL BUTTON.
/ saw to-day, although you
may not believe it, a man walk
into a bank and get a smile out
Of the guard. | don't believe
this ever happened before.
MRS. VIRGINIA JULEP.
To-day I saw a purple alligator
having a terrific battle with
pink rhinoceros. Yes, had just
returned from Hoboken.
ELMER ]. TUBBS.
/ saw to-day q woman tear a
telegram open and read it with
cut waiting to wonder who It was
from.
AMPHIBIOUS W.
DINGLEDORFER.
How's Your
C,It,,re2
The Washington herald., 1922-11-26

! think I win the prize. saw
. man come out of a telephone
booth smiling and saying: "Well,
that was quick work"
MRS. PEARL BUTTON.
The Washington herald., 1922-11-26
What Saw
To-day;
LEON M'DUFF.

To-day I saw q taxicab driver
carry a satchel into the entrance
of an apartment house for q lady
passenger. know you won't be-
heve this, but it ought to win the
Aah- MISS ROSE BUSH.
The Washington herald., 1922-11-26

To-day ! saw . homely mani
sure lady. Now l guess l vii
the goldfish. II not, it is the las
time / shall try.
GUENIVERE DINGLE.
The Washington herald., 1922-11-26
HELEN REEP HEETE.

/ saw an actor on the street
to-day and he didn't act like an
actor. He walked three blocks
without looking at his reflection
In . plate glass window.
CHARLOTTE Russo.
The Washington herald., 1922-11-26

I saw . man hang his overcoat
up in . restaurant. All the other
men were sitting on theirs, 70 he
had no hope Of making q trade.
COUNT EMOVER.
The Washington herald., 1922-11-26

To-day / saw a purple alligator
having a terrific battle with a
pink rhinoceros. Yes, had just
returned from Hoboken.
ELMER ]. TUBBS.
The Washington herald., 1922-11-26

I saw to-day, although you
may not believe it, a man walk
into a bank and get a smile out
Of the guard. / don't believe
this ever happened before.
MRS. VIRGINIA JULEP.
The Washington herald., 1922-11-26

I saw to-day a woman tear q
telegram open and read it with
cut waiting to wonder who il was
from
AMPHIBIOUS W.
DINGLEDORFER.
The Washington herald., 1922-11-26

II ! don't win the goldfish 1t
VII not be safe for you to
spen any parcel post package
coming to your house. ! saw to-
day on the street q man throw
his cigar away when he met his
wife.
The Washington herald., 1922-11-26

I saw . man In . restaurant
take the top piece Of bread of q
pile and eat II. Other men take
under pieces less soiled.
JOHN BARLICK HORN.
The Washington herald., 1922-11-26

To-day I saw the strangest
thing. saw . man take .
match box out Of his pocket
without shaking 1t to see II there
were any matches In 1t. He Is
the only man in the world who
has ever done this.
EMMA GRANT.
The Washington herald., 1922-11-26
How's Your
Culture?

A MOVEMENT has been
4 launched to improve the
speaking voice. It should
The Cordova daily times., 1922-12-04
IRISH PATRIOT KNOWN ,
 AS 1.-THE BARD" DEAD


 DUBLIN, Dec. 4.-John R. Sullivan, popularly known amongst his old Fen ian friends throughout the world as the "Bard," is dead.
 He was one of the most prominent figures in the Land War of the sos, and in 1891 he was tried at Nenagh before Justice O'Brien (Peter the Packer) on charges of conspiracy. Two sentences of IA years penal servitude were passed. As he turned to leave the dock he cried out God Save Ire land" Thereupon the judge called him back and imposed another sen tence of a further IA years. "The Bard" served 13 years. In later years he succeeded in getting restored the fame from which he was evicted.
The Cordova daily times., 1922-12-04
gone, and now lords ara aS scarce .
 the nightingale in Ireland. S
FOX ISLAND LEesEEe
 HAVE EXCLUSIVE kpGAT.

Fox farmers who have leased fs lands in Alaska lave exclusive right to those islaEds and may keep all others off. according to an opinion handed down by the solicitor-gen- eral of the Department of Agricul- tyre.
 One Ketchikan man who is in- terested in leased island wrote the department and received the follow ing reply:
 "1n reply to your request for in- formation regarding the rights of the fur farm permittees on lands leased by them from the United States for est service, the following is quoted from a letter to Col w. B. Greeley, U. s. Forester, from F. W. Williams, solicitor for the Department of Agri- culture, under date of April 29, 1922.
 "It is our opfnion that special use permit gives the right of ex- elusive possession to the permittee and that he therefore has the right to exclude anyone from the area GOV cred by the permit"
The Cordova daily times., 1922-12-04
POILU SHOT BECAUSE
 HE WOULD NOT WEAR
 BLOODY ARMY PANTS

PARIS, Dec. 4.-France's highest court of appeal has cleared of stain the memory of Lucien Bersot. It has granted 5000 francs to his widow and 15,Ooo francs to his minor fe' male child. Who was Lucien Bersot? l Just a poilu, not hero. A victim according to rHumanite, which re- counts his story of the pitiless ma i thinery of war.
 Early in 1915 Bersot, according to THumanite, asked the supply ser geaht of his regiment to get him some hew red pants. He asked sev- eral times for the pants, perhaps impatiently.
 At the end of a long period the sergeant sent Bersot the pants. They had been taken from dead soldier. They were filthy and stiff with dried blood.
 Bersot went to the sergeant and protested. During an argument which followed a lieutenant entered and reprimanded Bersot for arguing with a non-commissioned officer. When Bersot opened his mouth to protest the, lieutenant ordered him to be quiet and to put on the pants.
 When Bersot shudderingly refused the lieutenant had him sent to the guardhouge for eight days.
 Friends of Bersot protested, and the affair got to the ears of the colonel of the regiment. The colonel was indignapt-at the protesters. He determined to make ar example of Bersot and summoned court mar tial. Bersot was charged with Ire fusal to obey i'll the presence of the enemy"
 He was condemned to death Feb ruary 12, 1915, and shot the follow ing day.
The Cordova daily times., 1922-12-04
Daily News Letter

General Neses and Gossip From Staff M.mssrs at Home and : AbroaS.
The Cordova daily times., 1922-12-04

TODAY = Lack of cooperation be. tween Irish women voters and < Irish women seeking office seems to preclude possibility of any rapid advance beInb made in the feminist movement, writes Daniel oConneII, Dublin correspondent. TOMORRoW-Thomas Meloy, Peklne correspondent, relates the stirring adventures of aQwoman5 magazine writer who is overcoming great odds single handed in tour ot the Orient.
The Cordova daily times., 1922-12-04

While discussing personal habits 1t |is interesting to note that H. G. Wells |1s Q chocolate lover Late at night an
The Cordova daily times., 1922-12-04

., a lluxmy no man can af. ford, rich
The Cordova daily times., 1922-12-04

" h the time to start your holi- 1vem4s(ng. gae
The Cordova daily times., 1922-12-04
BEAUTY PIN REMOVED
 FROM cHlLD's LUNG

HUNTINGTON, w. Va, Dec. 4. - Removal of black-headed beauty pin, one and three-quarters inches in length, from the left lung of Lucille Sad, little daughter of a well-known Pikeyille resident, has been accom- plished by surgery at a hospital here The operation, known as bronchoscoPyl was performed by Drs. c. M~ Hawes and F. Marble. The instrument was passed into the lung through the windpipe, and the pin was removed
 The operation was an entire success
The Jasper news., 1922-08-17
CLIENT SPILLED THE BEAMS"
AItopether Too Truthful In Answering
Question Put to Him by HE
Own Attorney.

'Were l giving advice to a young
lawyers" said an attorney the other
day, II would advise him to be careful
about placing his client on the stand.
It. is at least as well to know what
he is likely to answer to his attorneys
leading questions. Some time ago."
continued the lawyer, "a case was tried
In which the plaintiffs attorney GER
tainly Spilled the BEANS thoCgh ac-
tually 1t was a cargo Of bread, rolls
and cake that was upset. A bakers
wagon had been hit by a train in
spite Of the stop, Look, Listen sign,
and the driver sued. On the stand
he was asked how he conducted him
self when he came to the crossing,
and he replied: L just trotted gently
across, looking the other way and
thinking about nothing in particular
The attorney threw up the case on
the spot, but it was really lack OF
foresight on his part" continued the
narrator
The Jasper news., 1922-08-17
o. TIE o.
ArGlICAN
LEGION
Copy for This Department Supplied By
the American Legion News service.)
MAKES MOVIE PICTURE NOW
Roger Sullivan, Former Engineer, Dis
abled in World War, Successful
In Camera Work.

The fact that he was an engineer
before the war may help him to unI
derstand the mechanism of a motion
picture camera, but the knowledge of
proper lighting effects and other
things incident to the successful pro-
duction of motion pictures had to be
learned by Roger Sullivan, after he
was seriously disabled in the World
war.
Sullivan was wounded while operat-
ing with the United Naval forces in
France. After the war, young Sulll-
van found that his injuries were such
that he could not successfully carry
on" as an engineer. Under the super
vision of the U. s. Veterans bureau,
he entered a school Of photography
in New York and has completed a
course in motion picture making and
still" photography.
The Jasper news., 1922-08-17

work. Young Gentry was one of the
first to present himself at the Legion
officA
During the first few hours he was in
the flood district Gentry rescued six
persons While swimming toward the
levee, after carrying a woman to
safety, he became entangled in a
barbed-wire fence which had come to
the surface of the water. He called
to a companion for help, but the COM
panion was too nearly exhausted to
save him. The surging waters from
which he had saved others soon en-
quilted him.
Mayor E. r. Cockrell of Fort Worth
urged his fellow citizens to erect a
fitting memorial to the young man
who had unselfshly given his life for
his fellow men.
The Jasper news., 1922-08-17

les that mother used to bake, the hap
pier 1t is going to make lot Of sick
soldiers.
The auxillary's plan is to establish
in each hospital, where there are
veterans receiving treatment, cookie
jar" which will be kept filed with a
fresh supply Of delectable cakes, made
by auxiliary members. The plan is
that of Mrs. w. H. Cudworth, Of Mil
waukee, Wis. chairman of the hospi-
tai and welfare committee. The recipe
should be sent to the national auxil-
iary headquarters, indianapolis, Ind.
A widely known baker will be asked
TO judge them and select the best.
The Jasper news., 1922-08-17

vertised 30 much and it did so many peo-
pie good that / began to take 1t myself.
/ am feeling fine now and every one tells
me they never saw me looking so well.
live on farm, do all my work, and have
three little girls to take care Of. am
recommending this me dicine to my
friends and know it will help them II
they use it like do. - Mrs. HERBERT
LONG, R. R. 8, Box 2, Larwill, Indiana.
Many women keep about their work
when 1t is great effort. They are al
When you are in this condition give II
prompt attention.
Take Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound, for it is especially adapted
to correct such troubles, as it did for
Mrs. Long.
The Jasper news., 1922-08-17
A Hard Lot,

Madam" said the suave agent, /
have here a book that will tell you
how to live twenty-four hours day."
II haven't any use for it," said the
hard-faced matron. with no-ac-
count husband and six children to sup
port by running a boarding house, I'm
already living twenty-four hours a
day. What l need is Il season pass to
a movie house and a chance to use
It,"
The Jasper news., 1922-08-17
Contemporary Corrected.

From Fashionable Dress-"When
the gay Bard of Avon fondly inquired
What is so rare as a day in JuneT
he was probably thinking Of the
smiles and tears and tenderness OF
the wedding day."
Not at all, brother, not at all He
was probably thinking: That's II
mighty good line. Wish I'd thought Of
1t before Lowell did."-Boston Tran.
script.
The Jasper news., 1922-08-17

lives. Little Rosalie Carol Larson of
Worthington, Mimi, was admitted to
membership when she was exactly four
hours old. No, she didn't apply for
the honor, 1t was just conferred upon
her.
Rosalies father, Warner Larson,
served with the Twenty-ninth division,
and her mother received her diploma
as a graduate nurse after volunteer
ing for service with the American Red
Cross.