davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Raymer enterprise. (New Raymer, Weld County, Colo.) 1910-19??, 1922-02-23
ed. H0WE'S FAVORITE STORY
WeIl:Known Kansas Editor Takes
Pride In Effeetual Way He
Squelehed Bore. ..

II. W. Howe Of Kansas has been
something Of traveller. He made a
number Of trips abroad and went
twice around the world. 1t was on
his first trip abroad that he encoun-
tered one Of the sea hounds whose
chief boast Is concerned In the num-
Der of times they have crossed the At.
lantic. Mr.. Howe tells the incident as
his farOrite story.
rs this your first trip the sea
hound asked Mr. Howe on the occa.
sion Of their first meeting. Mr. Howe
admitted that 1t was. WELL" said
the sea hound, "I've crossed the Allan.
tic 40 times" On the second day the
sea hound again put the question to
Mr.. Howe and again vouchsafed the
same observation. He repeated II ut
frequent intervals during the trip.
1t was on the sixth day, after the
sea hound had again spoken of the
number of his crossings that Mr..
Howe said to him: by the way, have
you ever been to Omahaf" The sea
hound said he never had. "Well." re-
torted Mr.. Howe. II 60 there every
week. '-Phlladelphia Public Ledger.
The Raymer enterprise. (New Raymer, Weld County, Colo.) 1910-19??, 1922-02-23
DIvULGED SECRET OF PAPA'S
Small Daughter Of Story Writer Quite
Unwilling to Make Exhibition Of
- Family Skeleton.

A little girl whose father Is widely
known as writer of humorous stories,
was recently approached by a visitor.
who said.
1T must be nice to have a papa who
knows so many fine stories"
The little girl blushed and hung her
head
Aren't you proud of Your papaT
the visitor asked.
"Yes," the little girl answered, but
| think ought to tell you something"
"What Is itT'
"rhe stories by my papa aren't
stories ut ALL
Not st0ries"
mo"
And in deep, honrse whisper. the
child confessed:
"He makes them all up ont Of his
own head
The Raymer enterprise. (New Raymer, Weld County, Colo.) 1910-19??, 1922-02-23
Couldn't Control sneeze,

Margaret, age three and one-haIf
years and confirmed early riser. had
repeatedly been warned to keep very
quiet when getting up In the morning.
In order not to disturb her older sister,
who was convalescing from recent
tonsil operation. Abou: the third morn
ing, under the new regime Of quiet
ness, as she was tip-tceing across the
bedroom to her mother. who was wait
Ing In the hall, she succunbcd to IA
violent and uncomfortable spell Of
sneezing. As soon MS the pnroxysm
was over, she raised troubled blue
eyes to her mothers face md whIs-
pered, sorrowfully: "Muzzar, was
still, but ! just couldn't make my
sneezer be still"
The Raymer enterprise. (New Raymer, Weld County, Colo.) 1910-19??, 1922-02-23
Hexskish 10 Georue v.

One CT the most engaging beliefs OF
che British Israelites now In session
is that our royal family Is directly
descended from the kings of Israel.
The marriage Of a daughter Of Heze-
kiah to king Of ireland Is alleged by
some as basis for the pedigree, and
there are said to be proofs lying in
scme London archives. The publica.
ton OF this evidence would surely be
the literary sensation Of the year.
Montreal Family Herald.
The Raymer enterprise. (New Raymer, Weld County, Colo.) 1910-19??, 1922-02-23
The Silver Lining.

Joseph Letter was talking to a
Washington reporter about the wicked
theft Of 100000 worth of fine wines
and liquors from his country house.
"Oh. we'll" said the young million
alre pluckily. "thls theft will relieve
me Of lot of bores, anyhow.
Prohibition hadn't been in force
a week when the worst bore In Amer.
lea buttonholed me one morning and
said:
"'Joc. l hear you've got mag.
niticent stock stored away in your eel.
lar. Is It true?'
"'Oh.' / said, I've got q little put
by In case of Illness
"'Good, very good, said the bore.
I'll call every Saturday evening till
further notice to be NJ"
The Raymer enterprise. (New Raymer, Weld County, Colo.) 1910-19??, 1922-02-23
MOTHER, QUICK! GIVE
], CALIFORNIA FIG SYRUP
FOR cHlLD's BOWELS

Even O sick child loves the "frulty"
taste Of California Fig Syrup" II the
little tongue is coated, or II your child
Is listless, cross, feverlsh, full Of cold,
or has collie. a teaspoonful will never
fall to open the bowels. In q few
hours you can see for yourself how
thoroughly II works all the constlpa.
ton poison. sour bile and waste from
the tender, little bowels and gives you
well, playful child again.
Millions Of mothers keep california
Fig Syrup" handy. They know tea.
spoonful today saves a sick child to-
morrow. Ask your druggist for genuine
california Fig Syrup which has dl.
rections for babies and children Of all
ages printed on bottle. Motherl You
must say california" or you may get
an imitation tig OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES
The Raymer enterprise. (New Raymer, Weld County, Colo.) 1910-19??, 1922-02-23
SHOULD Be FINISH TO THIS
Probably Some Readers Would Like to
Know Just What the Lieutenant
Colonel Said.

Private Washington Lee johnson had
Just come up with the requirements
and, not never having hnd M luck
a-tall, went on sentry duty the first
night In the new camp. In the wee.
sma' hours along blew the lieutenant
colonel who had reputation for be-
Ing one hard-boiled guy.
Halt! Who goes dari" beloved Pri-
yate Johnson.
"OfIicer OF the post"
There was long and painful silence
while the sentry racked his brain
for the proper thing to say. Then the
officer snarled:
well, why don't you say some
thing? Are you going to leave me
standing here Ike this all nlghtf'
"Nossuh," answered Private John.
son In relief as fash Of inspiration
came. mo, indeedy, sub. At ease !"
American Legion Weekly.
The Raymer enterprise. (New Raymer, Weld County, Colo.) 1910-19??, 1922-02-23
Social Distinctions.

Samuel Untermeyer, the noted New
York lawyer. at a dinner at the Ritz
Carlton said:
"Soclal distinctions are nil right,
no doubt, but they make me think Of
a certain war proflteer
"This chap gave party In his
new Fifth avenue house and, of course,
there was an orchestra to play for
the singers and dancers.
AT the evenings end. when sup
per was served. the butler appeared
before the orchestra and said:
"'The first and second vlollns eats
In the dinin' room and the rest of
the instruments In the servants
ALL"
The Raymer enterprise. (New Raymer, Weld County, Colo.) 1910-19??, 1922-02-23
DYED HER SKIRT, DRESS.
SWEATER AND DRAPERIES
WITH DIAMOND DYES"

Each package Of Diamond Dyes con.
tains directions 80 simple any woman can
dye or tint her worn, shabby dresses,
skirts, waists, coats, stockings, sweaters,
coverings, drnperies, hangings, everything,
even il she has never dyed before. Buy
Diamond Dyes"--no other kind-then
perfect home dyeing is sure because Dia.
mond Dyes are guaranteed not to spot,
fade, streak or run. Tell your druggist
whether the material you wish to dye ID
wool or silk, or whether it is linen, cot.
ton or mixed goods. advertisement.
The Raymer enterprise. (New Raymer, Weld County, Colo.) 1910-19??, 1922-02-23
Supburned Steel.

A marine outfit was undergoing In
spectlon in tropical region. The In
speeding officer was "hard-boiled."
Selling Private Mcrphy's rife Ike a
lion going after a round Ct raw beef,
he beloved:
"Whrts this, rust?" a.
"Oh, no." said Murphy. "rhat's sun
burn."-From the Bulletin, organ OF
the d. c. Branch OF the Second Dr.
vision Association.
The Raymer enterprise. (New Raymer, Weld County, Colo.) 1910-19??, 1922-02-23
Had the Proof.

A Sunday school teacher In q
Pennsylvania town did not seem in
clined 10 accept the assertion Of ona
Of her girl pupils that she Ind been
chrIstened In an orthodox way.
How do you know you have?"' asked
the teacher with a smile.
Because" said the little girl, II
hive the marks on my arm."-Milwau-
kee Sentinel.
The Raymer enterprise. (New Raymer, Weld County, Colo.) 1910-19??, 1922-02-23
The Real Test.

"a specchmaker nowadays" said
Uncle Ebcn. "nin't satisfied wifi ap-
plause. De real test Of his eloqua.
ciousness comes at de conclusion,
when he takes up collection"
The Raymer enterprise. (New Raymer, Weld County, Colo.) 1910-19??, 1922-02-23

The first thing n man does after
making a fool Of himself is to try to
explain how II happened.
The Raymer enterprise. (New Raymer, Weld County, Colo.) 1910-19??, 1922-02-23

Next TO loafng, the hardest thing
IL work.-Cincinnat Post.
The Raymer enterprise. (New Raymer, Weld County, Colo.) 1910-19??, 1922-02-23
True. Perhans.

Northumberland does 'collegebrei'
mean. dad7" Father-"Merely big
loaf. Nathaniel"
The Raymer enterprise. (New Raymer, Weld County, Colo.) 1910-19??, 1922-02-23

ernl Dnugherty as to the legal limits
within which such associations could
operate. Mr.. Daugherty In reply
holds that their activities do not con.
travene the provisions Of the anti
trust act unless In actual practice they
suppress competition, curtail produc-
ton or enhance prices. They may
standardIze grades, quality and proc
csses; furnish information as to A.
nancial responsibility handle insur.
ance and engage In cooperative ad-
vertislng; gather statistics Of produc-
tlon. distribution and wages for the
Information Of the secretary Of com
merce: and they may provide stand.
ard system Of cost accounting, but
should be warned to guard against
uniform cost as to any Item of cx-
pense.
The Raymer enterprise. (New Raymer, Weld County, Colo.) 1910-19??, 1922-02-23

TT APPEARS likely there will be a
i general strike Of coal miners on
April ! unless II is prevented by gov
eminent Intervention. The United
Mine Workers Of America are In con-
venti0n In Indianapolis and have re.
ceived the report Of the scale COM
mittee positively declaring against the
wnge reductions which have been de-
manded by the operators. Indeed,
some increases IRE asked by the men,
though they do not demand the six.
hour day and five-day week. The re-
port says:
I'm event no agreement Is reached
by April !, we declare in favor of a
general suspension Of mining opera
lions, such action being subject to q
referendum vote Of the membership
Of the United Mine Workers of Amerl-
len. such referendum to be held prior
to March 81"
The Raymer enterprise. (New Raymer, Weld County, Colo.) 1910-19??, 1922-02-23


- r ,cro,,s ,.,.,o,. !, p.,t,..
II fought h,,,arIv ,hrorghou, Tho
weet and ahon, ,wo score norson. wsro
L,l,od and monv wourd.d Tho p,.,,sh
,-oon. ,horo tool : hord i, NC ,no,oo
mst,nn ho,ono, ohorno. 80, hn,h .,ao,
,mn.-.,.I,v ~, ,a.e nnah,a ,o s,on
The .n,n,n, and homh thro.,n,
nuohao, coI,,rs haod =, ,ho ,r,s,
r-aa s,o,o wan, - Inndon ON, arnr
. cor,srenco Win s,r Gomas cro,c
annonnoad Tho, .ha, h., .aroa, ,,no,
,ha onnoln,mort :, mo,son commits.
.,on. from Tho rrao Geo.. and ir,s,or
,h.t ,i,, r.,ro, Tho ,r"n,,or o,d nro
var. h,nod.hoJ 10 o,so AL, =. haa
-seor,a., ,ha ra,oasa =. Tho .,,,n.nod
I1,s,ar,tos Tho oyocra,,o, =, ,ha
49, s,... i, pr,,,ss 1000 ~, ,a",,
hs,,.d h,, IN NJ Co,,,ns, ro,rason,o
,,nns !. wo. rosnnaI
f
EHOM Paris comes the prediction
that Inc conference on the
economic rehaoli'tation OF Europe VIII
De postponed until MAY, and shifted
- ., 49, a'a". , a'e
"e 800 !" , ,s : "e a''a"
.",., ~. -
$500. "a ~ -, .
-. ~ 1880, s.. - ~, 'se'
a. .ae 49,, oA.o .. $50. 20 80. "., w.. W.
~, !. W $3.50. :. -, .' NV,
- .s s ss.as a' .-. .. ~ '"e " "'"
s s. ,oe", "ea
.',',a W., a''vn :, '"e W.
w,a,.se. I nn.ho. w." $3.50. aa .,, ~ 49,
ments to prove that the reparatons
clauses In the treaty Of Versailles must
be abandoned or radically altered II
tie financial salvation Of Europe Is
to be accomplished. Rathenau's idea
is that the interests Of all will be hest
served II there Is almost a complete
cessation Of payments during 1922 and
II Germany Is permitted to pay In
goods and work Instead OF cash.
The Raymer enterprise. (New Raymer, Weld County, Colo.) 1910-19??, 1922-02-23

q pCRETARY OF COMMERCE
. HOOVER wants to publish the
trade statistics gathered BY trade as
sociations, 20 be asked Attorney Cen
The New York herald., 1922-10-03

ONcE monsh or more ircquenty. We issue publication
called Bsnsn's Wedge. Each issue devoted to single
editorial phase Of business n you are business
executive and would ke 20 receive copies, write u,
The New York herald., 1922-10-03

personnel II II simple. In the first
place. Il affords work for thousands Of
French sailors out OF jobs. There is
no cvading the rule. IL you can't find
a captain. "a mate or an engineer, or all
three OF them. in 81. Pierre. you are
required 20 apply 20 the authorities.
who VIII. when you deposit the requi-
site amount Of passage money; cable
20 France for the men you require.
A good captain costs you from $3.50
10 $500 month. A fret class en-
gineer a little less. A mate costs you
from SIS 10 $3.50 a month. And they all
expect bonuses.
The second reason for all this
French personnel aboard our rum run
ner is this: France observed the oper-
ations In the Bahamas OF Ne rough
neck element the rum running busi-
ness attracted 20 those islands. She
had reports OF their various exhibit
tions OF lack Of culture. Did they not
rob, brawl. shoot. X ,fe, and in sundry
ways make life n l.ttle less pleasant
in the beautiful Bahamas? But yes.
Well. then, Is 81. Pierre not to
benefit by what was observed in Mas
sau and West End, Grand Bahama
The New York herald., 1922-10-03
JUDGE SAYS NATION
WILL ALWAYS BE DRY
Tells u. S. Grand Jury Fight
of Vets Is Hopeless.

CHARLOTTE, N. c.. Oct. 2.-Federal
Judge Webb. in charging the new Grand
Jury here to-day, declared that "tha
hope in the hearts OF a minority of this
country that liquor is coming back is
fast dying out"
THE bootlegger and the blockader are
fighting a hopeless cause" he said in
calling the Grand Jury's attention "a
the volstead act as q law whose sy-
forcement the jury should guard.
"The United States has never p,,,
whipped in any war yet and It WIN n.,:
be whipped In the battle which has bssIl
Joined by these enemies OF Amerc-1.
homes. of American traditions, of Ameri-
can institutions and Of American des-
tiny. The only war, I pray God, that
this Republic will ever be forced to en-
gage In hereafter is the war to driys
liquor eternally out of existence in Gus
land"
The New York herald., 1922-10-03

''she was huckstering booze off the
Jersey coast one night last summer
when a motor boat halls her. She's
expecting a motor boat, and so she
wasn't suspicious. And what happens
Why, this. The motor boat is full of
pirates. and they being armed like a
convention of constables and the
Linda's crew having nothing but a
couple of gats the pirates take over
the cargo. murder the Linda's crew
and peddle the stuff themselves.
"Of course that may not be ex-
actly true, but 1t is as / get It,"
We run on to a schooner which is
minus its bowsprit and large sec
ton of it's forward deck. A little
Cockney is on watch. The Union Jack
flies from the stern. The schooner
is the Mary Fellowes of Jamaica,
Il, w. +.
What happened to you?" I asked
the Cockney.
Chopped" he replied, Chopped by
a bloody freighter fifteen miles off
Cape Cod Light. Can't let you board,
but IL you ask me tonight in one of
those cafes ashore there I'll damn
well arrow you with a story. Is tho
place as bad as 1t looks?"
We'll, it's picking up every minute"
Cant be as bad as 1t looks. Ever
been in Zanzibar"
mo"
THAT amt as bad as 1t looks either"
Good. I'll see you in the Cafe du
Havre tonight"
a fxun cnhnnnnrG
Every one was heavily armed with
rifles and pistols. One of them, the
Elsie OF st. Pierre Ca new name newly
painted in), boasted a German ma
chine gun and twenty iron boxes Of
ammunition. At her quarter rail lolled
youth who wore in the lapel of his
coat the official insignia Of soldier
honorably discharged from the Ameri-
can Expeditionary Forces.
Hello, buddy" he grinned. observ-
Ing similar insignia on the coat of the
reporter. Like being back in the
army in France again, amt it?'
"Yes, only it's harder work"
"You said 1t; but look at the differ
ence between thirty-three a month
and this. Some graft"
Your boat?"
"Hell, no; how'd / swing deal like
this? I'm just working for the guy
who put up the jack. He was in the
A. r. F., too-Quarternaster Corps"
Where's he?"
"Damfino. Wondering where we are
I guess. We're ten days overdue"
"'Strubble?"
"Damfino. Something wrong with
the shipment. We came up here to get
1000 cases of stuff, and the foolish
Frog we were to get 1t from sold it
TO some one else. Now we got to lay
around waiting for a cargo to arrive
from Scotland. We're handling some
thing good. nothing bad. Two other
guys on the boat were in the same
army as you and me were. What are
you doing? What's the idea? The
whole A. f. F. bootlegging?"
Where are you unloading when
you do get away?"
Anywhere the boss says. Before
we go the captain gets a cable in code
and then he dopes it out and finds
that the boss has arranged to have
motor boats take stuff off us at vari-
Gus points down the coast"
Ever get into any trouble with the
prohibition navy?"
The New York herald., 1922-10-03

him and gave chase. He put about
and returned TO st. Pierre. And there
he lies with $4,000 worth OF liquor
aboard and nowhere TO so.
Armed Americans.
We come to a schooner capable OF
carrying 1000 cases. She will be
loaded tomorrow. In her stern sit
i've Americans with Winchester rifles.
They are taking pot shots at black
fish that weave about the harbor like
porpoises. We ask permission to come
aboard.
why? Who are you?"
"Oh. we Just want TO look over your
ship. We're new at the game AMI
want 20 borrow Information"
There is much laughter at the
greenhorn. but we are permitted
aboard. Virtually everything except
the engine and a modicum of cabin
space has been divorced from the In
side OF this schooner-the Mirabelle.
In a rack In the cabin are fifteen more
winchesters and twelve "A caliber au-
tomatic pistols. There are three cases
OF ammunition.
What's the idea?" asked. Are
YOU going 10 declare war on some
thlng?"
Hell. no: you don't fight in this
business unless you have to. Did you
ever hear OF pirstes?"
Sure"
~ what became OF the Richard f..
WEIGH and another schooner named
the Linda or something like that. II
you're going 10 run booze you ought
20 know about them. although I never
saw anything like IL since I've been
running stun out Maybe it's bunk
and maybe II amt"
10 was the captain OF the Mirabelle,
q Yankee from Portsmouth. whose
name Is not Smith. who was doing the
talking.
"As get &C." he said. ~ was in the
late spring of 1921. There wasn't much
doing here then: only once in a while.
The Richard E. welch. which hadn't
taken the trouble TO change from
American TO British or French reg
istry. snealed out OF this harbor with
600 cases on board. She got no fur
Their :han Little Miquelon. which amt
Far. when a trawler crossed her and
made her pull up.
7As ! get ~. the skipper OF the
welch had a gat on him and so did
three of his men. But that was all.
Some say there were Frogs in the
trawier and some say there wasn't
not that II makes any difference. Any
wnv. 1000 cases OF stun were in
savoyard next day. according to the
way I get a.. and the Welch was being
pounded 20 pieces on the dunes that
connect Big and Little Miquelon. Mo-
BODY ever heard Of the crew OF the
welch again.
AS I get II the 1000 cases were
sold all over again 10 a trawlor flying
the French flag, and that was that.
So we're carrying guns. II a Govern
men. boat gets us our hands are In
tie air. for we amt fighting the
United states Government and we
amt taking no ch%nces with the one
FOUNDERS the Government boats carry"
Pirates KIN Runners.
"wen what happened TO the Linda.
or whatever her name was?"
"As I get IT," replied the skipper.
The New York herald., 1922-10-03
Feverisb Business.

Regard, as write, the waterfront of
this town-the wild confusion of re-
viving commerce. the feverish speed %
the hitherto moribund business houses.
the scramble OF native and alien mer-
chants for deserted fish storehouses.
the clanking and rattling % steam
winches and loading cranes (Olymplan
music 20 hungry ST. Pierrel. tho soar.
ing rentals for cellars and long vacant
dwellings. the slam and rasp OF hatchet
and saw. the rumble Of casks and bar.
rels rolled down tho street. the slap
and thud of cases piled upon cases
But better than all. observe the
erstwhile deserted harbor stand IN
front of the store OF J.. -. Lcgasse
there facing the quay. and count tho
schooners and yachts and steam trawl-
ers and even one American converted
submarine chaser. Fifty OF them
Some OF them are loaded and are only
waiting evening when they will streak
out past Savoyard and Little Miqueion
TO peddle liquor to smaller craft along
the American coast. others have Just
returned for another load. Yet others
are here for their maiden voyages un-
der the invisible Jolly Roger.
Suppose we take a small motor boat
and visit. We shall Igss by the con
verted submarine chaser. She left
st. Pierre eight days ago bound for
New York waters. The natives laughed
when Thompson. the American who
fetched here here, arrived for his
cargo.
Laugh if you want 10 but let me ex.
plain" replied Thompson. "She's the
fastest thing in the Atlantic for her
size. What intend doing Is 20 make
quick trips and frequent ones. can
get to New York in ten DAYS with this
boat. Tho trawlcrs take sixteen DAYS
sometimes. can stow away $500
cases and after a half dozen trips
can quit for tho winter and join the
big push in the spring"
with that conspicuous thing"
ieercd the natives, you will never
make one trip. Why, man. all you
lack IL an electric sign announcing
your mission and some liberal adver-
tising in the American newspa pers.
You'll never get as far as Cape Cod"
And he didn't. AS a matter Of fact
he was somewhere off Portland when
an American revenue cutter sighted
The New York herald., 1922-10-03
NEW LIQUOR SMUGGLING BAN
Regulations n Under Latest Tariff
PROMULGATED.

WASHINGTON. Oct. New customs
regulations under the tariff act of 1922
prohibiting the importation of intoxi-
eating liquors without permit were
promulgated to-day by the Treasury.
They provide for the seizure of liquors,
the seizure OF the vehicle In which i'm
portation is attempted and the imposi-
tion of liability equal to the value Of
pc liquors upon the person in charge Of
the vehicle seized.
The New York herald., 1922-10-03
FRENCH RUM RUNNERS
BAR AMERICAN CREWS
Miquelon Islanders Insist Upon Supplying Officers and
Half of Men SO That Trade May BE Conducted
in Gentlemany Manner and Mother
Country Says Go to IT.
Special D,ssa'sA % rur Ne~ rs.S l'@.s

CT. PIERRE Mquclon. 2That have uler ander
standing description Of the approach
Freneh colony peeede
try quick painless might sun
GENTLY interested get out map
Mqueon the Cape Breton end Of
Nova Scotia and en- south OF Newfoundland
repeated fun play the ranners
principal Islands aud three
though by accident
greeted rand Mquelon and
tile the tier called Langadel.
without vegetation and virtually
white birds ascend
until craft drops
in Of feahery blizzard eniolds