davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Amarillo daily news. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 19??-current, 1922-08-19
RUTH'S HOMER In TENTH Wins
FOR YANkS, MAkIFHCsu TIED
With BROWNS FOR fIRST Place


b. hssotts'rd Pres
NEW NCi,k Avg iN-'rh, New Yurl
Americans v"nt ulo e tis with 50
Louis f0r 'h. Nlruouu League Head
drfp1tiuu Chut.u .n lo Innings s io e..
whil, goa md,nsa Vis defeating the
Brown. gulH rw man up in The
tenth inniuv Hu,kpd Dltcnport's ftst
lali ptehtd r agr, o,id stands tor hi
23rd home Hm winning the Same Ruth
also Goo iuIIr and single and drove
% or scored 't. runs.
T. u T.
ChiHlp .nu ON1 80 e. o
New Ng.l, - -Hn 5000 son lis .
bIy1uC't md -.hllu Iluyt Jones
Bnsh and -haug
Slmm-' Two h,s. h.ts MDClcunau.
three ins" hits suth. Hmo runs col
hus Muc-.l, l;lJh s,oI'n base Mousc':
in". cn lulls u'f lluti O. ou Jones
uff luuk,nship % Ur l.. rupui @
Amarillo daily news. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 19??-current, 1922-08-19
mickey IS Wild
LUBBOCK BEATING
CLOVIS 10 TO 2

LUBBOCK, Aug. 1N-MaS6v was
Wild walking eight men which coupled
with timely swats enabled Lubbock 20
gathcr ten runs. Woodbridge allowed
Clovis only six hits. well scattered aud
was invincihle IN the p.nches as two
runs were ali Clovis could r.t
Amarillo daily news. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 19??-current, 1922-08-19

fuf rnd %, I~~ r.v,r rf fhr
ai-i rh.rvs.lfs of tIqui Tn"
enc y w'nas ',rn cui burned nr
sceidsd ncsh Wih Fondrrful prcr'r'.
noss. Pr.co 3oc sec ana 81 90. sold By
City DRUG CO.
Amarillo daily news. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 19??-current, 1922-08-19
Texas League.

'tHu.nf a 1t Dallas -.
rori Worth 9. - Galveston g..
Wichita Fails 10. az Houston -
shreveport 3. at san Nutoniu T.
Amarillo daily news. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 19??-current, 1922-08-19

81 mmHIt l;Ius Eihptidgc Slin ..
Eug lNull Dc,.rUr Errors, King,
q. Wtit, \uunuus Lcc'ly Two base
It- Elno.ds" Sllu clayton Lyall.
i..m, .lu p.e,,r Double plays.
Wit. Goo Coulos S,uU, ont 10y Ward
o. ph lllt St.l.u l3sc. King
q u. D .am, 1850 Umpire, Price.
Amarillo daily news. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 19??-current, 1922-08-19
where THEY PLAY
West Texas League

swEETwATER AT AMARILLO.
Clovis a Lubbock. IA
Stamford AZ San Angelo.
Ranger a. Abilene. 70
Amarillo daily news. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 19??-current, 1922-08-19
I.rayes i,ra, Pirates.


~ an Amarillo Booster. offer
the following as pick of an al star
team In the West TeVns League.
81. Cheney. amarillo.
N Mcanor Amarillo
10. Anhcitr Amarillo
n. Cdmslock. Amarillo.
n Badger amarillo.
81. Fitzgerald. Amarillo.
y. smith Amarillo
y. llin. Amsrllc
n. Morton. Amarillo.
y. Naples. Amarillo.
e. Byers. Amarillo.
Utility. Douglass. Amarillo.
watch them win the pennsni.
4 FAN.
Amarillo daily news. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 19??-current, 1922-08-19

-. Louis 5. phiindclplfsa y.
CHiruCo y Nrw York y
Detroit q. Boston s.
Ct,t,lnnd = Washington ..
Amarillo daily news. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 19??-current, 1922-08-19
Texas League.

Shreveport al san Antonio
Dallas ~ Beaumont.
Port worth al Galveston.
Wichita Pals at Houston.
Amarillo daily news. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 19??-current, 1922-08-19
National league.

foston ~ Pittsburgh.
iirsr,klvn aBCIncinnsii.
New York AZ ChhaEo
rhils1slph,s ~ a.. Louis.
Amarillo daily news. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 19??-current, 1922-08-19
Local fans ar' 30 agos

The, have q right 'u be-.
Win ihr Gl>srI, pouliig II 0n sweet.
y .icr Wilde Lnbbo.h Trims Clio, j. 10 the
inuc Of 90 g. .. slowing our club y fuli
game nearer tia TOP and with the Gass.
-. ne, ing Clu,i- in twin bill here
sunday, VII, 81 dnt local fans bc all
r'npcd ur'
! e. going 10 %, The biggest day IL
the SEASON. Ian, lrum al over The
Panhandle will be- lrrc. reports LAY.
The Ggs>,r- are now four games behind
Amarillo daily news. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 19??-current, 1922-08-19

DALLAS. Aug is Rlumyn
started 90 is,la, hut soon blow ul mud
Dallas coupling hts With thr Exiuirtyrs
m'spl>e won thr 'r-, sau. q tho
scripe o. to s. Mik, Mrssy ea bis
second honle run Loo I've days with the
1tzcr fuil
re
beaumont .... sup ego uIU-N q 10
lsIias Hss nUa .t. ga. a.
IaidrIa E,is, ha Hgliphrs- ana
IS moFor lnvrupnrt Lo,e and l. nsi..
SUMMARY 1sru harr hse brennan.
Love 1'ter nta' Mis. psnuhr. Idtr.
i"n. galloway Hsulc ruua Allen Ma
~ i"'en hiae ncmseaio. Go.iis,,
Lot'lsce. ponohu' ,rdico bite An.
defson. Ltns!e Schrcver. Domaseio.
struck out. by Davenport ]. by Love 4
hsse on balls off BUschl 9. of Hum.
phfi's Of Moris 2. Of D,,,npost /.
I,H L..
Amarillo daily news. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 19??-current, 1922-08-19
National League.

iostnu .. Pittsburgh =
iruaslYn Clnrlnnati rain.
Ntw Trri a.. Chicago ~
fhiiadrlphia . 81 Louis 3.
Amarillo daily news. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 19??-current, 1922-08-19

Al vomen's shoes we're made with
out heels prior 20 ISIS.
Amarillo daily news. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 19??-current, 1922-08-19
Amsfissn Iesgua

Chirsro ~ New York.
less ~ Pslis1e lphia
ftffeli ~ Bolf.r
itn4 ~ wish s'en.
Amarillo daily news. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 19??-current, 1922-08-19

lNi dilN iffht|lN.
SUMMARY Two loose htt 'oyklns
Tunn. S1tlor .tr'o bas, hf- Jacob.
"Is Has. 'u balls. or Van Gtldp o.
Amarillo daily news. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 19??-current, 1922-08-19
National League.
BASEBALL RESULTS
vc,, rcNas Iraguc.

~nsrtWltrr . Amarillo ..
Z lows . l.ulthock 10
Ranger I. Abilene =
,isufUYI %. sen Angelo l.
Amarillo daily news. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 19??-current, 1922-08-19

~ '-I'IHTfI TITT|
iNliiNlLAp"lIN Nug "hU,d,'.
ihn 49,, Aperr .,m, u. 'hv yere
win ST. l...tf 100
sf l.Yrt .. oIf 5000 IIH-1 Is 4
.'tifdi lrhi, fig uui uiN-.s l3 %
Van Glider kop and s"yuu.d. Nay
Amarillo daily news. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 19??-current, 1922-08-19
Detroit Shut cut.
ny AssO,iatcd l.tss

BOSTON. Aug lN -Nruu Collins
held pcu. 90 l,r rii, TODAY lHd or.
.uled B0.uu iu win too
IL u r.
Drut ...... nul 600 O00--O , 8
B,5tm ........ UDn .nf UuNN % 3
summary Two base mls lIcilmaun
rs collin. lovsiDr. three harc hits.
BUu. us., 90 balls. 80 s.. collins I.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1922-01-20
Ira Morgan Annuunce

In the regular announcement
column of this paper will be
found the name of Ira Morgan
as a candidate for Road Clerk in
Road District No. 6.
Mr.. Morgan needs no introduc-
ton in Massac county as he is
too we'll known. Neither do the
people need the assurance that
he has always been a good
clerk and will continue to do SO
if elected. He has been faith
full in the fulfillment of his Offices
and will give Road District No. 6
good service.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1922-01-20
WHERE APPEAL is USELESS
Ancients Seem to Have Had the Righs
Idea in Their Attitude Toward
inevitable Death.

What happens to us when We die:
What does il feel like IL pass cut 81
this earthly life and enter the vi1-
known beyond?
An interesting answer comes from q
group of psychologists. Their observa
tions are that, in the dying hour, the
sense of smell is Tie first to fat.
Then, IN order, tile lying person loses
taste, sight. touch, hearing.
Thus the five senses pass. Outward
ly, death seems to have taken place.
But how about the sixth sense-con-
scIousnessI Many medical men be
lieye the brain is conscious sometimes.
rs long as 20 minutes after the five
senses are gone.
Everyone has heard Of people VIII,
had visions OF angels, music and -
flood of bright light in the moment
of passing from the material world.
Why fear DEATH Life is only
journey, death only change. The
ancients contemplated death without
fear, and met it with Indifference.
They accepted II rs inevitable, hence
reyer raised affairs to it as they did to
things that might change-misfortune
fever, volcanic eruptions or tie god
ot rain.
They recognized that there was no
Use In appealing 10 death. the Great
Adventure Cincinnati Post.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1922-01-20
As II Sounded to Him.

Shirley Brooks, "pe of the most bril-
liant Englishmen OF his time, associ-
ated with Thackeray and the famous
Mark Lemon in the editorial manage
ment Of Punch, had mind filed with
poetry and he often wrofe admirable
verses himself But he had no knowl-
edge of or love for music. Nevertheless.
in his role as reporter for some Lon
don newspaper Brooks one time he'd
been called upon TO write of eoncert
critically. lie wondered bow he was
"gong to get away with it., and this
is how he did IL:
"Ovpr the deep abyss of bass there
noaied, like Il poised lark. sllyery
cloud Of treble. ahlid Which The sbrilt
iromclo of the higher strings seemed
quiyerngly 10 glitter like The arrows
Of a Sunslaft through tire mist Of eariT
morning.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1922-01-20
Candidate For Sheriff
Elmer Brown Announces His
Candidacy This Week.

Elmer Brown Announces His
Candidacy This Week.
Elmer Brown, present county
treasurer has announced him.
self as candidate for the Re-
publican nomination for sheriff
in this issue Of The Gazette.
Mr.. Brown needs no introduc-
ton TO the voters Of Massac
County, Twice they have hon.
ored him with the Office of county
treasurer and his work has prov
ed satisfactory both times,
He is now asking the voters
for the Office of sheriff, feeling
confident that he has the ability
to fill the place and is perfectly
willing to submit his record as
county treasurer in proof of
same.
Mr.. Brown has slways been. a
staunch Republican and a hsrd
worker for the party's interests.
If elected to the office of sheriff
he will do his best to maintain
the confidence of the public, the
same as he has during his terms
as county treasurer.
Mr.. Brown will begin making
an active campaign in the near
future and will endeavor to see
all voters, and present his claim.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1922-01-20
Obituary

Mary Harris WAS b ,ru in 1853
IN Humpreys County Tenn, and
depart d this If Jan l3 1922
az the age Of o9 years
She was married in the abov-
named couny TO Jake Kelly. To
tlis union were born ten children
Tne family moved to K~ntucky
and from there to illinois in the
year 1877.
Sister Kelly proiessed hope in
hrist 3 years ago and became a
member OF Sloan Baptist cbu cn
under the pastotate OF Rev. Jas.
Howard. She has lived ever
since d quiet peaceful. Christian
/ fe
She loved h-r church and was a
6ne citizen in the community, a
peaeeful neighbor and a loving
mother, one who never tired doing
Tor her children
She leaves 10 mourn their loss
four boys John George. Ed. and
Archie and one daughter Alice
two brolhers Jack and Carol Har-
ris two bali sisters. three danghs-
tsr-law, i grandchildren. enc
great grand child and q host OF
relatives and friends.
Why do We mourn DEPARTED friends,
Or shake at deaths alarm, :.
it, but the voice that Jesus sends
To call them TO His arms.
The funeral was held Monday
afternoon at Sloan Baptist church
Unionvile, in The midst OF a large
number OF sorrosing relatives and
friends, Rev !. b. McCrary, ofiic-
iating
Peace to her ashes
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1922-01-20
GEMS MADE IN LABORATORIES
- s
limitations of Precious Stones Are s.,
Perfect That They Can Almost
Deceive Experts.

Rubies, sapphires, emeralds, man.
other stones can now be initiated s.
beautifully that II is no longer eass
TO detect the difference, upon casua,
examination. Pearls are made In {.
number of varieties, and imitation
pearls are plentiful and often worn.
While only an expert can determine
whether some gems are genuine, there
are certain simple methods by whicf
In most cases "the genuine article
may be detected at home.
Color is usually considered the ilrss
great criterion of all precious stones
It is now generally conceded, however
that color alone is not n criterion By
which stones may be judged; other
physical properties Ai,st he taken intt
consideration by the jewel expert.
Tie structure Of the stone Is
critics of the stone, however, are the
most certain test-what are known as
lis ''refractiye property" This can
be ascertained by means Of small in-
strument known as a 'reffactometer."
Refraction means simply the bend
ing Of the light-rays out Of their nor
NAL course, when passing through Ger
tain solid objects. The degree to
which these light waves are bent is
called the 'refractlye index" IN
most transparent bodies, including
gems, this refractve indez is constant
and known.-Hefeward Carrington,
Ph. D.. in Leslies.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1922-01-20
Mrs. Mary Broyles
3 Entetains Ladies Aid

\ delightful meeting of 'h- La
d rs Aaid was he'd Tuesday eve
ming at til. home OF Mrs. Mary
Bro, les, Pearl St The hours
were pleasantly sbent in arranging
new plans for the year.
a salad course luncheon was
served by the hostess and Mrs.
+ Began. Included in the hos
pirality were Rev Hamilton and
wife, Mesdames Florence Young
Julia McCane, Mary Harmon Ad-
die Adams. Francis Began, john
c Ma tin. Izora Rodgers. Miss
Ollie Jones. and Geo Calhoun
MIS-. Hattie Hamilton and Mrs.
Nancy CrIppin were Paducah KY,
shoppers Tuesday al.o )oha and
Ojis Renfro, Robt. Black veil.
Mrs Granger pfoprietess of the
Kozy Cafe. is able to be on duty
again.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1922-01-20
NOTICE

To the members composing the
Executive Board oi the MI Olive
isap,ist 5 ), Convention. As
there vas some Financial business
sl our las, meeting in Colp. that
not finished, and as ! have been
unable to sc, it adjusted through
correspondent. it viii be nrcesa-
ry TO call meeting oi the Board
in the near future The time and
place will be announced later.
!. w. Corneal, Dist. Pres.
4a4 y Sycamore.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1922-01-20
Avsraae Man Weds at rhirtY.

More than l,60Wn men aud women
more than forty-hgegears old are
eklng out miserable existence IN sin
gle blcsse1ness. the census reports.
More than 100000 men about seventy.
six years of age are listed as bachelors
and nearly an equal number Of wopa-
en slXty-f0ur years or more, also are
unmarried, besides Il stll larger num-
ber of men and women fifty years old
who are without mates as result Of
divorce or death The average man
now marries at thirty and the average
woman al twenty-five. While 9S per
cent OF the revenues Of the govcrh-
mcnt are spent on war, n majority Of
the funds raised by city. state and
country levies Is cxpcndcd ON schools
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1922-01-20
Centraiia
Jan. IL. 1922

Jan. IL. 1922
Dear Sisters and Friends of the
W. L. and NJ Convention, and Of
the Mt Olive Baptist Association
| cannot express my love to God
either pen it to you through this
our organ The Gazette owe to
God for his most wonderful love to
me and care Tor preserving my
lie through 1921 and sparing me
to enjoy the New Year through
the many difficulties. | guess
yoa all heard OF my very very
dangerous accident but God will
take care of his own am able
to be up again but not real well
but able to be at my post of dLiy
for the Masttr for which | praise
God. | ak your grayers that
t lis year may be spent in useful
nsss. For these and many other
things is why you have not heard
from me through this paper
The year has begun with many
sad hearts let US try to do more
from every sohrce this ye.r than
in our whole life We are in debt
TO the district also National pied ge
Help me sisters to labor and pay
what we owe the work that is be-
fore US Consult your delr : astor
K him to let your circle hold a
rally on the 4th Sunday in this
month and whstever you raise
bring or send it to our board is
Feb tim aud place will be an
noanced later on or you can send
Fix 10 cur Sec Sister NJ ]. Hudson
Colp H., and your Ci,cle will be
credited Tor SANE.
y 'a's j, Chri.t,
Laura Leake,
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1922-01-20
Meeting Expectations.

The old negress WHO washed for
Mrs. Worth, SAYS EyelTbody's, came
one dag with tate of woe calculated
TO awaken pity in the hardest heart.
"Chcci ND. aunt'n.' sail Mrs. Worth
ronsolingiy '.'gilcFe's 30 ise worry
Ing
But anatie held oher ,iev~. How
come dele's 10 use werllin'7" she de-
iiandcd. when Z. good la,cd send
me trlhulations he dome 'sYsset me te
lribB'aga. aiu'9 Hcs@
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1922-01-20
JcPpa
DE ar Editor:

Please allow me space
in your valuable paper to say
that our worthy pastor Rev. L.
w. Norment was with us Sunoay
and as usual he was at his best.
He preached three good sermons
which was much needed in this
place.
Our S. S is progressing nicely.
The Ladies aid will have an
installation on the 5th Sunday.
The Aid met at the residence { f
Mrs. James Taylor on Monday af-
ternoon, after business We were
served with delicious repass.
Mrs Mamie Hutcherson of East
St. LOUIS, is in the city visiting
her mother Mrs Winnie Faulkner.
Mrs. Anna Crider is much im-
proved at this writing.
Charlie Brown has returIN d
home from the Marine ho,pital at
Caro-. where he has been confined
for three weeks
Miss Hazel Howard spent one
day at home with her parents last
week.
Sam Swift had the misfortune
to have his foot mashed with a
eros, tie. but he is dong nicely at
this writing.
Blossom Bradley.
Reporter
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1922-01-20

Pay Your Subscriptions,
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1922-01-20

Tue rainfall of yiilsge Among tAs
A&ils os Assam. cnrtna tho tsn Nsssz
fsam Nay : TO Jnb' D his yeas. sss
$50 ircheo Tie spssgs u &ssf~pas
=, the ruin,ey. vcg y 2sia saA ess
sanahly "a The sssHA IL srnzss sAes
Saii h srnasthis r~sw tss sAsszss'-eAk
aftssn nisss ~ sy;fs - l1snrh
UhsrsapapE zszsk "a tl@ssss, svsr
kn0hing the pia.s u HyshsS, AAa V .
4.xbk fssl ahAzs Asa isTsa. a.=-sS ssesAis
st1f aasS<ts.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1922-01-20
NJ. Duncan, Pres.
Hazel Howard Sec.
Notice

Carbondale, H., Jan. II. p
TO the B. Y. P: u. workers and
Institute oil tie East Mt. Olive
Baptist S S. convention. | am
hereby directed to say that the
B. Y. P. u. will meet With the
Shiloh Baptist church, Colp, III
on Friday before the fifth Sunday
ia January. the Institute Safntdsy,
and continue until Sunday night.
II is hoped that all schoois and
Unions will send as much as Que
dollar each to help defray the cx,
pense of the meeting,
Come with your hearts in,pired
and fired Tor he work. Let Us
make this the greatest in the his
tory OF the work.
D. q McClain.
Pres. B Y. T. L.
Ca,bondaIe, H.
Hattie Mae Adams.
Cor Sec
Murphysboro. H.
Algic Bradley.
Pres. Of ). S Institute
tafbondelc. III
Aagenia stone.
Cor. Sec
CatbondaIe lli
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1922-01-20
Unfair Dinner
Peace to her ashes
UnionviIle, III.

UnionviIIe, III.
Mr.. and Mrs. +. II. Howard
entertained The friends and Tela-
tivcs OF the former at an elegant
six course dinner at their residence
in UnionviIe. sunday Ian IS,
1922.
The. guest of honos were:
Mrs. Mary howard. siep-moih-
er, MIR. and Mrs. Vim Kelly. OF
Pope county. Mr. and Mrs. Chas
Howard, brothers and sisters.
Mrs. Jordena Baker OF Paducah.
Kentucky, Miss Daisy Long,
OF Metropolis, teschcr OF Little
Rock school. Mesdames Flora
Bell and Celia Steward.
Interesting remarks were made
by Mrs. Baker and Miss Lcng.
4 pleasant II c.noon Was spent
ai;erwhich the sucs; departed to
their homes, wishing Ms and Mrs.
Howard long aud prosperous
lie.
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1922-01-20
Colp, Ill.
Editor Gazette :

Please allow ME space to speak
of our quarterly Institute met ting
held at DuQuoiu Jan. 9 8. This
was one of the greatest meetings
we have held since have been
meeting with institute meetings
The meeting was spiritually alive
from the beginning to the end.
All S S. in Duquoin, gave
their support, both the Methodists
Baptisis. We stirred the hearts
Of our hearers on ) S work, and
all the churches IN the city asked
US to come back with the next
meeting. We had delegates from
Centralia, Mounds, Md City, and
Colp. We would like To hold
our next meeting the 3rd or 18th
Sunday in March What church
will have their S 5. to take the
uext ms9ting7 l.,t me hear from
you.
M. Duncan, Pres.
4 I
Metropolis weekly gazette. (Metropolis, Ill.) 1???-19??, 1922-01-20
Notice

Dear Pastors Superintendants
anl 5 5. Workers, the Nit. Olive
s. 5 lnsttl'u'e viii meet Friday
Saturday and Sunday January s,
o. AMI 7th with the Mt. Olive
Baptist church Duquin. Each S.
S is asked to send a messenger
and a donation chat we may be
able to pay our expenses and help
the church that emertains the In
stitnte. We hope to see all the
officers ei each department OF our
convention present. Onr state
president vii be there with a
'BuInine Message. Our slogan
VIII be, :" How TO make a Sunday
Schoo! Go .
| am yours in the work
NJ Duncan, Pres.
Rev. J. b. McCrary,
Conductor.
Mis-, Hazel lloward.
Cor. Secy.
s-e-sT- --- -.-------------
The Washington times., 1922-10-29
Famous American Fallacies

operator in Wall Street bound to fall
That mans tastes and desires be regulated by
sttuional amendment
coored thinks chicken than any
Of meat
That theatrical all against the business of ticket
speculatng.
That every who from Pittsburgh have
his neck
That violent person long, healthy
happy life.
That the humbe grand singer gets million dollars
season.
That in his lifetime gets anything paid for
stallments.
That nobody but society nabob allowed in the Newport
city limits.
That millionaire could have fun with his than
he's having
That doughnus ndigesble and should be avoided
when possible.
great writers do their work night when all quiet
around them.
That all New York people suffer form Of exhaustion
constantly.
That conductors do wash their hands until they
through work.
That people read magazine stories than read
advertisements.
The Washington times., 1922-10-29
Here Comes
the Gloom

TX HENDEL q SONS are dust
IN ing off the old wedding
80 march and getting It ready
for return engagement.
Happy bridegroom will be VIII
Hohenzoilern, known in criminal
circles az the Kaiser. Old boy
hasn't had enough war yet. He's
going to marry . blonde.
The All Highest has been get
ting old too fast, and he's going
to put a stop to this by doing a
Ponce de Leon. He is going to
Aave the plumber IN one of these
days to install a goat gland; In
fact, as soon as they can find
goat. There ought to be . lot OF
them in Germany.
Then, with his hair dyed and
mustache and whiskers painted
and q new cigarette holder, he
will be the moving picture juve-
nile Of Doom.
Wedding presents will be nu-
merous and costly and will in
clude:
j From King Ferdinand Of Bull
garia (deposed)-one pint laud-
anum.
From People of Austria and
Hungary--Six feet Of stout rope.
From Sultan of Turkey (old
friend Internal machine con-
cealed In bouquet Of forget-me-
nots.
~ From Field Marshal Won Hin
denburg-One large, solid ivory
strafe.
c4old Boy Kise has been acting
funny lately, going without his
meals and talking to himself and
posing in front of his mirror.
People all thought he was crazy,
out he wasn't. He was only in
.ove. -.r.
All the children are in favor of
the marriage, but they don't say
what it Is they have got against
the bride.
Bride looks like husky girl who
will stand no nonsense from the
Kaiser. We hope her looks do
not belle her.
81 hope" says the Prime Min
lister Of Belgium, "that she is a
rotten cook" ,,
That seems to express the gen.
eral feeling.
The Washington times., 1922-10-29
Growls of a Crouch

more wicked than large cities,
and while I probably am almost
alone in this belief, still be-
lieve 1t.
I wouldn't so much mind rid
ing in the subway If there were
not a lot of people knocking it
all the time.
I seldom accept dinner invita-
tions. I don't believe I, have had
one in three or four years.
I am able, by hard work, to
live up to my income, wherein I
differ from about 1 per cent Of
other people.
I used to like to 60 to studio
teas, but nowadays the studio tea
Is getting altogether too weak.