Evening star., 1922-12-09
CAPITAL. KEYNOTES.
BY PAUL Y. COLLINS.

Your remembrance. NAV be inserine
IN the post office hospital moaning
sno restless. because OF your NEGLECT.
Don say II with flowers" but do IL
WIN care Wrap well. address we'll,
stamp right and-"do it now"
X x
Representative Focht wants 10 crea,e
parking reservoirs for AUTOMOBILES
oy excavatfng huge garages for
storage under all the parks or .cir-
cies the full size of the circles, and
IN some cases digging down several
'torIee dangerous to store SO much
gasoline 80 near the neither regions.
Better adopt the plan of elevated
footways to the height Of the second
stories OF business houses and turn
Ing over 70 the automobiles and other
vehicles all Of the surfaces of the
walks. That will cost less and give
more room and better air. and will
meet the need for more space mot
only for parking but for travel.
4 /: II
Take care OF the pence and the
pound will take care of itself" Post
master General Work defends his
order that after March ! no mail will
be delivered to city residences any
where unless there be a mail re-
ceptacle provided by the householder.
He says that there are employed
throuRhout the country $4,000 letter
carriers and each carrier averages
service three times q day to 800
houaeholderg. If the patrons have
letter boxes they will save the car
tief q quarter OF minute on each
letter delivered. and that amounts to
Ss.sss.ooo saved. He might have
the householder. for. instead Of rush
ing to the door to greet the carrier
every time he stops the housekeeper
may continue her regular duties and
get the letters at her convenience.
That must mean at least two minutes
day saved. and at-well. how much
Is the time Of a houseke eeper worth
ANYHOW. there's millions in st."
Nail up the hest cigar box in the
parlor. attaching IT to the doorpost.
dtaturbfnE you. It blesseth him who
gives and her who receives, like the
gentle dew from heaven.
- X ::
"And the goose honks high"
Uncle Sam used to rule horizontally.
now he 10 beginning to rule vertical
to he. Keep to the right" Now It
IL. Fly high. so as not to bump the
ducks" There is a strip OF land
near Edgewood. Nd. owned by John
warfield. where he lures wild ducks.
In spite OF his martial name, he has
clashed with the Army because the
sviators have been bumpinR his
dnsh:o d,ss,,. at Least ae the wild sch ducSs KS
thinks are going to be his. So Maj:
0en. Mason n. Patrick. in command
Of the aviators. has ordered that in
Soine uD while ducks are going down
unless equipped with parachute. "a
canvas back will do.) Poaching
above the clouds is strictly forbid
den. Any aviator seeing bird ap-
rroachinE should-duck. St Patrick
drove the snakes. but Gen. Patrick
takes to ducks like an Irishman takes
to w1ter-or was it'a drake?
grain of sand in an oyster shell
sioner Oyster sees that the grand
iuries have no sand in finding true
bills against the bootleggers arrested
in the District he objects to casting
pearls before them.
X x +
King David was in fiight-Saul had
him on the run-and he cried out:
"Oh. that one would give me drink
of the water Of the we'll of Bethle-
hem. which is at the gate" But
when the water was broaxht by three
volunteers. who won the d. 8. c. by
getting it, David poured 1t out on the
sand. and said it was too good and
precious for him to drink. inst like
that, President Harding was hungry
for a good turkey dinner. like motho
er used to roast in Marion and when
a great gObbler came strutting clear
from California and offered to be
roasted like a man of the other party
asking for Office. the President. upon
learning that the turkey was blue
not eat an aristocrat like that. and
he sent Il back to California. Moral:
I don't know the moral, unless II IS
that the stomach must not rule
sacred things. Like the little boy in
the poem. "Sooner would let star
vation gnaw my ytttles out
England hiss 1900. 900 idle whom she
wants to establish IN other countries.
yet she sent to the United States last
year only about half of the quota
permitted her by our immigration
laws. Now It transpires that there
in a well defined propaganda To
prejudice the emigrant against COM
ing to the United States and to divert
the hegira TO Canada and Australia.
Speeches are mSde I'm parliament
warning the immigrant ''of refine
ment" that he will have to bring his
own "bawth" IL he comes to Ellis
Island, for the accommodations are
bloody bad. doncherknow: So sorry.