davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-04-02
Heard Along Broadway

The chairman made repeated e.
forts to interrupt the speaker, but
he refused 70 be called To srder.
The Grafton lasted close upon half
an hour. and whom he had resumed
his seat the chairman managed to
gain . hearing.
Have you quite done, SIR he
asked
"Yss-0uftst but I defy you to
deny the truth Of my statements"
he rstorted.
II have no wish to. SIR" said the
chairman. "Ths gas company. Of
the management Of which you com.
plain. 10 holding its annual meeting
in the neIt room. This 10 the Vsgs-
tartan Society"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-04-02
Consolation for Hawkins.

C0n00l6U00 101 d0Wklm
tSWHATi Hawkins deadl" 81.
W claimed the chaplain to the
warden, upon entering the prison
and learning that an inmate had
expired. why did you not &C
quaint msY"
"well, sir, II were midnight"
stolidly replied the officer. "and |
didn't like to disturb you-but l
managed It all right myself.
"'Orkins,' says l. you've been .
bad I'M
"Yes, says he.
"Orktns. you cant expect to 30
to heaven
mo says he.
"'Thsn. Orkins,' says I. now
thankful you ought to be to have
anywhere to 20 at air.
~Then he passed away quite
peacefully. sir"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-04-02
He Made Il Plain.

eco you want TO marry my daugh.
~ tar said Mr., Cumrox.
Eyes, replied the young man.
y hope to hear you say take her
and be hSppyi-
mo, sir. I'm not going 10
shoulder any implied responsible
ties. All I An going 10 say y take
hsIs -
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-04-02

BENJAMIN Simpson and Eli3a
Brown replied the woman, and
Tn Eliza"
Are you, indeedr" said The min
lister. 81 think / remem"-
"Yes." interrupted the visitor.
I'm her, all right, and ! thought
- how I ought to droY in an tell
you that Benjamin's escaped"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-04-02
The Knot Was Loose.

THE vicar was sitting in his study
hard at work on the following
Sunday mornings sermon whom
visitor was announced.
She was . hard. mountaineering
woman, and when the minister
offered her . chair she said, brur
qusiyi
you Are Mr.. Jsnfins, arsr I
youf~
Il am" replied the good man.
We'll, maybe you remember
marrying . couple OF Stranger at
your church . month agof"
what are the namssr ssksd The
olS. symaps ss-.~ssuuuoonn
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-04-02
Treddy's Reward.

WHEN Freddy came homo from
" school he was cryinG.
Teacher whipped me because l
was the only boy who could answer
. question she asked the GLASS;" he
walled.
Treddy's mother was angry. It'll
SEQ the teacher about thati What
was the question she asked youi"
"Shs wanted to know who put
the glue In her ink Bottle"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-04-02
Hot Buying Bones.

tuAvH you any rass 10 selii-
"a asked the ragmaA q the tan,
angular woman vhs vas Standing
at the door.
no" replied the woman, tsrtfy,
"only those I'm wearing at the pres
emit time II you want them you
must take me, too"
The ragman scanned the woman
and . triumphant smile lurksd
around his lips.
TIN vsry sorry, ma'am." he said,
90 no turned TO 20, I'm only buy.
ing rags-not bones"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-04-02
No Place Is Safe How to Behave
D. "a
In a Restaurant

= YDRY few people knsw ne :
" proper etiquette b ne - .
Ant-class restaurant The
same 1ctios should not b lssd ~ :,
In . quick lunch cafe or armchair
soup emporium. Therefore. in or =
der 70 avoid embarrassment, show
that you are wsll-brsd By following
the appended rulsss
h the first place. forget that I
your check d going 10 look like the
population figures of New Jersey.
Worrying over Q matter of this
sort not only brings on indigestion. 4,
but also causes tho waiter to Gus. /.
psct that you are not going to tip !
him.
When you eat in . swell restau.
rant Of course. you want to attract
attention. However. try to do this .
some other way than via your :
soup. Ono Of the best ways We :
can recommend IL To upset your
table.
II You have taken . lady friend 8
70 dinner. Of course, you should
prove entertaining. but don't try to
amuss her BY pulling any old gags
on the waiter, such as: II found
. collar button in my salad. waiter. =
r. that part of the drsssingf" y
Do not b. too ungrscstul passing
dishes. 30 long - you do not up y
set moro than two decanters Of )
water and one cup Of coffee you
have not shown that you are I'M e
duly awkward or unaccustomsd to
eating out -
When you order . French dish
and do not know what II 10 like. It
10 proper etiquette to complain to
the waiter that It 10 not properly
prepared. The guests around you
viii ct once assume that you are :.
from Paris-even though It II only I.
Paris, Kentucky. D
Use tact IN eating your spa
gstt1. Do not wrap It around your
knife. The proper etiquette to use
in eating this popular food IL to tie
knots in Il: then you can stick
your fork in It.
When you order planked steak
do not forget to ask the waiter to
show you the sawdust from which :
the plank was cut
When you want - attract your
walters attention do not arise,
place your hands to your mouth
and shout At the top Of your voice:
Hey. waiter. come hsrei" The i.
proper etiquette TO use to call your :
waiter n to use . beanshooter. 2
Peck him on the left ear with
bean or . pea.
Do not flirt with any unescorteu
ladies' In the restaurant-not until
they have paid their checks. :.
II the spoon gets tn your eye :
when you try to drink your coffee
do not forget to bawl the waiter
out for giving you . spoon with
such . long handle.
Do not arise from he table and
hand the waiter . large button for
. tip. He has thousands of but
tons he has gotten in this way, and
he may embarrsss you by telling
you 90. Instead. write him out .
large chsck-then stop payment
On It
When the check - brought do q
not start to tell . funny story and
feign you do not see the waiter.
grab tho check; then pass
II to the man next to you and say, -
Il can't see the amount; I haven't =
my glasses with me-" Or, II you
DO not wear glasses. get . violent
spell about the time the
check 10 brought. Then explain
latter someone else has paid the
cheeky that coughing always rsnd-
~ you speechlsss. ,
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-04-02

. srchhnt
~ was 4 6ocr, sir"
"A doer7 WAITS that7~
Wen, lsiT, Y5u see, when my en-
ployer wnntos anything done he
would tell the cashier. tho cashier
would tell the bookkeeper, tho book,
keeper would tell the clerk and the
clerk would ell mo-"
AND what would happen thenf"
We'll ~. A. l hadn't anyone to
ell Il tc, ~ do it,
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-04-02
Z 20 Much Gas.

TILE % ted individual entered
the cowded room while the
meeting as in progress, took out
buriIa Of notes and commenced
20 sudToss the meeting.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-04-02
A Few Drags at the Old Pipe

so.s people
TIE, establishing smoking Ter sons u
- theatres
hing gives Efficiency
putting good front Many ssvntssnda'aas sun
eas vss a twmtyAolas joA
Washington would hs could aens
sAs been named after him
Aypnty tn. only way boys
enc msasss.
Ire sa1 guys
psddsrs
" Hummond Fyfs q q York accompsnst
4 rsus. ,svss looks . q
4 lr Of boob fortunes havs kiotsd the sua.s& iatsh
IAndrv, hs muSAssrsssd
man
ssv York married beautiful blonde. but she dysA
on Of the best methods Of removing uperhuous
I~ashSv,k ----------------.... ------r--~
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-04-02

One Of our local spinsters says
that from the way the happers are
bein' married of there's nuthin' to
that old mouthful about fortune
favors the braid" Seems 10 her
- II the bodied hair was gsttin
the call.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-04-02
Rural Editors
Paragraphs

~ OR Department Of Health II
IL campaign to prevent tn,
spread Of the nu arrested ,
couple of guys last week fol
snssxin' in . public conveyance
but the lads proved an alibi. The!
were only convsrsin' In Russian o.
he trolley car.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-04-02

&sks Short, 20 Dame Rumor
avsrsth. 10 keepin' company with
. widow who lives up the Cross
0podo way. We bet she's got out
her Widows weed chains to see
that he don't slip.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-04-02

In answer to an inquiry from .
Seeker for knowledge, We would
say that Sir Galahad. the knight
who was 10 popular with the ladies.
got his name from his speakin' 20
much about "the gal I had" popu.
lar corruption of the pronunciation
turnin' the II" into IN -" Don't
mention II, Seeker. Ask N any.
thing. Educatin' the public who
are not 30 fortunate ~ to be a.
we'll informed as ourselves y our
enc pleasure in life.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-04-02

Our Main street vegetable store
has . sign "nns cranberriss in.
sids." That's the way We like our
sranbsrries. We allus like to con-
sidsr cranberry sauce ~ an inside
Job. say We.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-04-02

History doesn't inform u - t.
whether Bluebeard was Q con
server Of vegetables, but there Ger
tainly were . number of drieo
beans found in his attic, accordin
- legendary report.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-04-02

Danny Green an his wife shot .
game Of craps last week to Sc
whether they would git . divorc,
~ AoG Sort Of shootin' OF . tie.
say ~.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-04-02
Passing the Buck,

SSUHAT position did you hold In
w Tauy lszt placsi" asked the
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-04-02

Indoor operation Of the phono-
graph has caused Q local wag to
rsvamp the svenin' prayer - fol-
bows:
Now lay me down to sleepj
I hope my neighbor don't play The
Steep"
I pray the Lord that, before I wake,
They'll drop that record and It will
break.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-04-02

A good many pitchers are work
IN out at Hot Springs, but they
won't get IN real hot water until
thsy facs Bambino with the bases
full an the scors tied. A the
sportin' writer's say. he sure swings
IN ubiquitous mace.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-04-02

0psakin' q Knights, the old boys
must q had their own troubles.
Just imagine sendin' your suit Of
mail to the Chinese laundry an
havin' him pat too much starch In
Il.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-04-02

Judge Mesker observes that It's
usually the case that when . per
son has only . one-track mind the
1snak = laid in stone ballast
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-04-02

Aubs Hawkins has had trenches
Dug aroun' his pig pom to make the
drainage better an render II moro
sanitary for the pigs. He says
hen slam the frst guy that makes
q wise crack about wisldin' .
trenchant pen.
The Hope pioneer., 1922-06-29
SOILS IMPROVED
BY COVER CROPS
ysed for More Than 100 Years
by Farmers Who Found
Practice Profitable.
THREE PURPOSES OF LEGUMES
Universal Rule to Plant In Time to Sc.
cure Good Growth Before Freex.
ing Weather-of Especial
Value to Truckers.

SPrepared by the United States Department
OF A9rtculture.l
Flantlng cover or green manure1
crops Is matter which requires at.
fention in September in most parts of
the United States, says the United
States Department Of Agriculture.
Clover, vetch, and other legumes
serve the triple purpose of adding
humus to the soil, accommodating nj
trogen. and preventing soil erosion.
With some tender berry and fruit
crops they also serve to protect the
roots from severe winter weather. Out
side Of the nitrogen-forming plants,
rye is largely used as a cover crop
sown in the fall and plowed under in
the spring to add organic matter to the
soil. The cover-crop problem varies
largely with locality, but for over
winter purposes there is one rule which
Is universal, and that is to get the
crop in the ground iii time to secure
good growth before freezing weather.
A Practice Of Long Standing.
The use of clover or some other
fegume to enrich the soil is generally
considered a cardinal agricultural
practice in the humid sections Of the
United States 1t antedates by three
The Hope pioneer., 1922-06-29

~. In the South they are customarily
sowed between rows of cotton at the
last picking. 1t is also common to
sow the winter crop between corn
rows before harvest. Wherever clean
cultivation is prncticed the soil is
likely to be in shape for broadcast
ing the seed. If convenient, it can be
narrowed in. In orchards a light har.
rowing or disking may be employed
If the ground Is free from sod. Care
must, Of course, be taken not to injure
the roots. The crop Is usually plowed
under in the sHSng, but this is not al.
ways done with orchards. Data col
lected In all parts Of the United States
shows general benefit from this form
Of agriculture.
Cover crops are Of especial value to
small gardeners and truckers, who
often find it both difficult and ex-
pensive to obtain stable manure. They
add the humus which Is SO necessary
to maintain good physical condition
Of the soil.
The Hope pioneer., 1922-06-29
DAIRY
HINTS
PLAN FOR THROWING ANIMAL
Necessary at Times to Have Cow or
Bull on Ground to Perform
Necessary Operations.

For performing surgical operations.
dehorning, ringing or castrating, 1t Is
often necessary or desirable to throw
a bull and hold him on the ground.
The accompanying sketch shows
very effective method to use in cast
ing COW or bull. 1t requires 35 or
40 feet Of rope. With hornless ami
mails the first loop will need to be
around the neck instead of the horns.
as Illustrated. The next step is
half hitch just back of the forelegs
and another in front Of the hind quar-
ters. Pulling on the main rope to the
rear and toward the side on which
it is desired to have the animal lie
will get results. Pregnant cows should
not be so thrown. Once the animal is
The Hope pioneer., 1922-06-29
ECONOMICAL FEED FOR HERD
Most Important Item That Enters In.
to Cost of MIX Production
Analysis Of Figures.

prepared by the Usfted States Department
Of Agriculture)
How to feed his herd economically
and profltabiy is an important thing
for dairyman to know. In all Sec
tions of the country where investiga-
tions have been carried on, the Unit
ed States Department Of Agriculture
has found that feed Is the most ex.
pensive item that enters into the cost
Of milk production; and intelligent
feeding, in either summer or winter.
offers the biggest opportunity to re-
duce costs.
The analysis Of many figures by the
department shows that in Vermont the
winter costs of keeping herd were
made up of 63.1 per cent feed and
bedding, 17.5 per cent labor and 1914
per cent other costs. In summer, feed
and bedding represented 41.6 per cent
Of the total expense, labor 28.7 per cent
and other costs 31.7 per cent.
In the South the costs are distrib-
uted somewhat differently. Figures
obtained In Louisiana show that In
winter Sc per cent Of the expense IS
for feed and bedding, 22.4 per cent for
labor and PIG per cent other costs.
The summer costs in that region do
not differ from the winter costs so
much as they do in the North. The
figures for summer in Louisiana show
that sos per cent Of the total cost Of
milk is for feed and bedding, 26.2 per
cent for labor and 23.3 per cent for
other costs.
Although 1t is advisable for farm
er to economic wherever he can
wisely do so, these figures show that
the dairyman who studies feeds and
feeding has an excellent opportunity
to increase the profits Of his dairy
herd.
The Hope pioneer., 1922-06-29
PROBLEMS OF AVERAGE FARM
range Work to Obtain Profit
From Each Department.

To arrange the work Of the farm SO
that each department can be made to
turn profit is one Of the important
problems of the average farm. Where
silos are added to the farm buildings
change of farm management must
follow. Less hay is needed, less land
is required for pasture, more stock can
be kept on the land. more land must
be used for corn, or at least sufficient
corn must be planted to fill the silo.
Less labor is required to feed the
stock. but more must be provided dur
ing the short season Of silo filing.
The Hope pioneer., 1922-06-29

Minneapolis Butter, Eggs and Poultry.
BUTTER-Extras, 35c: firsts, BIC;
seconds. Csc: packing stock. fresh,
sweet. 23c: state goods. &c: grease. 1c.
EGGS-Country receipts. rots out,
per case, $5.40; No. caLdled, good
extras, free from rots. small dirttes
and checks out, per dozen, 21c: small.
dirty and held stock. rots and leakers
out, dozen, 16c: quotations on eggs in.
clude cases.
LIVE POULTRY-Not advisable to
ship turkeys under 7 pounds in weight.
Hens. 4 pounds and over zoe: hens.
under 4 pounds, 19c; cripples and culls
unstable; ducks. fat, 15c: geese. fat.
10c: turkeys. fat, over pounds. Csc;
turkeys, thin and small, 10000: Grip.
pies and culls unstable, guineas, per
dozen, $500; roosters. 12c: broilers
~ lbs. and up. per pound. soc: Leg
horns and small broilers. lb.. Csc.
The Hope pioneer., 1922-06-29
PUBLIC MARKET AIDS
BUYER AND PRODUCER
May Be Open Space Where Farm
ers Sell to Consumer.
Some Cities Have Erected Sheds Along
Street curbs-Supplement
Agencies to Assist In Eff.
cient Distribution.

Open retail markets constitute the
simplest and least expensively oper-
ated Of all types Of public markets.
In its simplest form market Of this
type may be merely designated
length of curb, section of broad
street, vacant lot, where, under
slight supervision, farmers may group
their wagons and sell to consumers.
In It's highest development such a
market may consist of paved tract
with raised walks covered with SUBJ
stantial sheds to protect teams, wares,
buyers, and sellers from the weather.
The shed may even be Of type that
in bad weather may be made practical-
ly into an enclosed building by the
use Of rolling doors. A few cities have
erected sheds along street curbs for
the protection Of open markets, but
for the most part curb markets are
unprotected and sheds are constructed
only in markets situated on special
market tracts.
The essential feature Of a retail
market Is the restriction Of purchases
to consumers as distinguished from
dealers. Such market. IL 1t Is a
producers MARKET" furnishes an op-
portunity for direct dealing between
producers and consumers. Open re-
tail markets may also edmit hucksters.
or wagon and push-cart peddlers as
statesmen. These dealers are usually
admitted under certain restrictions.
The United States Department Of
Agriculture has given much ..ttention
to the subject Of public markets. their
establishment and operation, as an
economical and satisfactory meeting
place for the country producer and
the city buyer. A new Department
Bulletin, No. 1902. entitled "Open
Types Of Public Markets." is now
available for distribution. and copies
may be had free by writing to the De.
partment Of Agriculture, Washington,
D. G.
The bulletin discusses the function
of public markets, their ownership and
control, establishment and operation.
It says that public markets are not
agencies to replace other means of
distribution of farm productivity are
supplementary agencies to aid. under
favorable conditions, in efficient dis
tribution.
The Hope pioneer., 1922-06-29
SOY BEANS FOR DAIRY cows
According to Tests at Iowa Station
Plant Furnishes Most Palatable
Protein Feed.

Soy beans as feed for dairy cattle
have shown their value in replacing
oil meal in the ration, according to q
recent experiment conducted by the
Iowa agricultural experiment station.
Cracked soy beans, 1t was found, made
a palatable protein feed worth one
third more than the same amount of
oilmeal.
Two years experiments were con-
Quoted with the soy beans in replacing
protein supplements, and the results
show that dairy farmers can produce
this supplement to advantage.
The Hope pioneer., 1922-06-29
Cover Crop Should Make Fair Amount
Of Growth Before It 10 Turned
Under.

Under.
fOurths Of century the monumental
discovery that legumes store up nitro
gen from the air. The belief that
clover was valuable improver rested
first on experience, and later expert.
ence was substantiated by the dis
cOvery of the relation between the
iegumes and the nodule bacteria.
Other legumes, as the cowpea, the
Japan clover and bur clover In the
South, and crimson clover on the At
lantic coast, have come into use in the
territory, not we'll adapted to red
clover. The various vetches are held
in widespread favor, different varie-
ties being employed according to cli-
mate and crop conditions.
The time Of planting and the best
crop to use Is a matter which local
conditions must dictate. Along the
north Atlantic coast it is considered
best to get these crops In from the
first to the middle of August, while
in the extreme South the planting may
be deferred to early October. In the
extreme North hairy vetch Is favored
as a legume cover, or green manure
crop. but rye is also largely planted.
From middle Pennsylvania to the
uOrth Alabama line crimson clover
gives good results. In the extreme
South bur clover. vetch. and crimson
clover are used, as we'll as velvet
beans and eowpeas.
Methods with cover crops vary great
The Hope pioneer., 1922-06-29
BALANCED RATION IS URGED
Corn Fodder 10 Not Satisfactory tor
Dairy Cow Because It 10 Lacking
In Protein.

A COW may consume large quantt-
ties of feed, and still lack the essen
tial elements for milk production. This
Is why the use Of balanced ration ia
both economical and satisfactory.
Corn fodder, fed alone, for example, ID
aot a satisfactory feed, because the
ration lacks protein, and hasn't suf'
dcient succulence to promote q satls'
factory dow Of milk
The Hope pioneer., 1922-06-29
CLOSED ROADS CAUSE LOSS
Automobile Now Fundamental Means
of Transportation-Joy Riding
Thing Of Past.

Failure to keep improved roads cpe1
curing the winter is heavy economic
loss, says one of the leading American
automobile manufacturers, WAo adds
tim, the automobile Is now the fCada-
mental means of transportation and
toy riding is practically a thing OF
the past.
The Hope pioneer., 1922-06-29
mlLDEw WIPED OFF LEATHER
oamp Cloth or Soap and Warm Wa.
ter Will BE Found Satisfactory
.-Thon Oil Lightly.

When mildew has developed on
leather goods 1t should be wiped OF
yith a damp cloth or washed OF with
soon and warm water. and the
leather oiled lightly with castor or
nent's.foot oil and well dried atter'
- .rls These simple methods for pre-
y.ntinc and removing mold are salts
factory aud safe
The Hope pioneer., 1922-06-29
Swat tho Rooster.

Pen, kill or sell all mole birds In
your poultry tlocks, If your Matching
season has ended. 1t is estimated $45,.
100000 annually is lost to American
farmers because they fail to have In.
fertile eggs for the regular market.
The Hope pioneer., 1922-06-29
Minneapolis Closing Cash Prices.

Minneapolis Closing Cash Prices.
Spring Wheat-No. dark northern,
141@1.4S; No. / northern, 1.40@1.43;
No. / dark hard, 1.37@1.39; No. l
hard, 1872; No. 1 am. dur, 1.21@1.26;
No 1 durum, 1.16@1.21. Corn No. 2
yellow, 5734 @58Ac. Oats No. 2 white,
35@36c. Barley, choice to fancy, SIS
@57c. Rye No. 2, S5DS71ac. Flax.
seed No. 1, 2.51@2.53.
The Hope pioneer., 1922-06-29

South st. Paul Live Stock.
So. St. Publishers. $4.00@s.00:
veal calves. s3.25@S.00; cows and heif-
ers, s4.OO@6.00: hogs, s7.75@10.50:
sheep and lambs, $1.00@11.00.
The Hope pioneer., 1922-06-29
Early PuIiets Are Best,

Early PuIleto Are Best.
Ten early-hatched pullets laying In
the fall are worth a hundred that
hatch so late they won't lay until
next spring. Winter Eggs pay best.
The Hope pioneer., 1922-06-29
Effective Method in Casting Bull.

EHectIVe method II Casting BuII.
down turn it's head back, nose up.
with poll to the ground. A hand hold
on the side of upper lip will usually
enable one man to hold the animal
down, another man keeping taut the
casting rope.-Dalry Farmer.
The Hope pioneer., 1922-06-29

The window-glass area Of kitchen
ought to be at least fifth of its floor
area.
The Hope pioneer., 1922-06-29

Remember that farm animals as
we'll as humans appreciate plenty Of
clean, cold water on a hot summer
day.