davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1922-08-20
Nudge Receivers the Papers

But don't get them. And I
gotta have them. I rely on YOU"
"What papers?" Nudge asked,
with his usual acumen.
I omit part Of Mr.. Oscars reply
for obvious reasons. I will not
conceal, however, that he also
subscribed to st. Nicholas and
the Police Gazette, but these
were safely delivered, IN plain
wrappers, by express.
Before missed the papers my
milk was stolen daily" Mr.. Oscar
remarked as he left. 81 stopped
that by getting a German-I
mean Belgian-polick cat. But
the cat (whose name I conceal
for obvious reasons) can do
nothing about the papers. Let
US see if you can succeed where
the cat failed" We saw him
drive off, surrounded by private
mounted policemen.
In not more than three weeks
Nudge had ascertained the fol-
lowing facts: That the news
dealer, receiving the morning
papers at 7.S0 the night before,
wrote on each the names Of his
regular clients; that the boy
started to deliver the papers at
$50 a. m. that no paper was left
on Mr.. Oscar HIS steps.
The Washington times., 1922-08-20

this Is Q democracy" He was
grand in such moments.
"Yes," he went on, oscar H.
is his uncle. And far richer than
John D. Richer than Herman F.
or even Francis x. Far richer"
whats he coming fort"
81 didn't bother to ask" The
great detective yawned.
Shortly afterwsrd Oscar H.
- himself, in person, was
ushered into the Office. Outside,
in his limousine, q secretary,
valet, chauffeur, footman and two
private policemen waited.
(which Of you gents Is Morti-
mer Mudge?" he asked.
The great detective concealed
his rage. 81 am" he said scorn-
fully. ...
"Cross your hearts that what
/ tell you Is confidential"
We did.
"Well, ! am having ap awful
time. Life isn't worth living.
This outrage has lasted for
months. Four detective agencies
all failed. I stood guard my
self. I failed. You must help
mep' Plainly, he was disturbed.
Nudge patted him on the back.
Courage, my friendp he cried.
"All Is not lost. Mortimer Nudge
The Washington times., 1922-08-20
ff@UESS who's coming this
r afternoon" said Nudge,
as entered his Office.
as / entered his office.

Couldn't"
"0h, 60 on--guess," he begged,
donning the velvet sleeve garters
which it was his custom to wear
on informal occasions.
"Well-Tom Black? Dick
White? Harry Green?" The
reader will understand that these
are not the names I guessed. I
conceal the real names for OBJ
vious reasons. .
"Snoggs, Snoggs," the great
detective sighed, you'll never
make a real sleuth. You don't
guess enough. In half an hour
you will see. in this very room
whom? None other than--W
Here he mentioned, as casually
as you please, a name that stands
for the greatest fortune in the
world, that makes you think Of
gasoline. conceal it for obvious
reasons.
"Not John D.-p I gasped.
"Not John d. Oscar H., his
uncle"
ellis unclep I gasped. T
didn't know he had an uncle"
swell, why not? Why
shouldn't he have an uncle3 Are
you a Bolshevik? Hasn't John
d. as much right to an uncle as
YOU hayef Remember, Snoggs.
The Washington times., 1922-08-20
On the Steamboat
Excursion
Y you decide to pass away the
" time by going on a steam
HAT .x.,~.{.-

Y time by going on a steam
boat excursion. I
You don't care much where the
boat goes. Nobody ever does.
You 60 just for the ride.
You stand in line for q half
hour to get your ticket and then
rush aboard with the mob.
You grab q camp chair as soon
as you get on the boat, because
you don't know when you win get
another one.
You lug this one around until
you find place to sit and this Il
right next to a pile Of several
hundred camp chairs.
You find that everybody else
on the boat wants to sit right in
this one corner, because II Is in
the shade.
The boat pSlls away from the
dock and turns around and then
you find yourself In the sun.
You hasten with several others
to the other side of the boat and
then the smoke blows in your
face.
You move farther forward and
then the wind changes and the
smoke blows In your face.
The boat turns around . bend
and you hnd yourself in the blaz-
ing sun again.
You grab your chair and run
TO the other side Of the boat and
repeat this a. often as necessary.
You find yourself between two
love-sick couples and directly In
front Of . young man with .
ukulele who can sing nothing but
Gallagher and Shean."
You 60 down on the main deck
where there are no spooning
couples and find 1t SO hot you
have to 60 back aloft.
At noon you 60 below to the
lunch room with your chair hook
ed over your arm and have .
choice of ham sandwiches and
hot dogs.
You choose the latter and
when you bite It the mustard
drops over your Summer coat and
trousers.
On the return trip you select .
spot in the very bow of the boat
away from the noise. The wind
gets astern Of the boat and you
are soon drenched in SCOT until
you look like a nigger minstrel
first part.
When you get back home, late
at night, you 60 out In the back
yard and bury your clothes, take
q bath, rub with linament the
spots where the camp chair has
worn the hide of.
You make Arm resolve never
to 20 on another excursion and
you keep this resolve religiously
for three weeks.
Then repeat.
The Washington times., 1922-08-20
Lost Opportunities.

An old Scotchman who went to
"A the races for the first time
was persuaded by his companions
to stake q sfxpence In the third
race on q 40 to I chance. Now
Il happened that by some miracle
the outsider won, and when the
bookmaker gave the old man
eight half crowns he could hardly
believe his eyes. "Do you mean
to say I get all this for sax
pence!" he inquired Of the book
maker. "You do" was the re-
ply. INA conscience" muttered
the old Scotsman. Tell ma,
mon, how long has this thins
been going ont"
The Washington times., 1922-08-20
A Few Good Ones
Too Busy.

Too Busy.
AN interested visitor, who was
q making her final call in a
! tenement district, on rising, said !:
"well, my good woman, I
must go now. Is there anything
Lean do for you?" .
mo, thank ye, num-" replied
the submerged one. aye mustn't
mind it IL / don't return the call,
will ye? haven't time to 60
slummin' meself."
The Washington times., 1922-08-20

treat Britain Rights Reserved.
The Washington times., 1922-08-20
Believe It or Not.

TUE big game hunter had just
1 returned from Africa, and
was relating some Of his adven-
lures.
"The most astonishing expert
ence / had," he said, twas when,
passing through the bush, I turn
ed to find q lion just about to
spring at me. He sprang. but I
fell fiat, and the beast passed
right over me, and, apparently
disgusted, bolted into the bush.
81 had a goat tethered near
the spot as bait, and returnedNthe
next day In the hope Of catching
the lion feeding. What do you
think were my feelings when, as
l approached the spot cautiously,
I saw the lion practising low
jumpsf"
The Washington times., 1922-08-20
A Kind Word.

AN American, newly arrived,
a went into|a London teashop,
took his seat, and waited. Pres
emily a bright-eyed waitress ap-
preached him and asked: "Can I
take your order?"
eyes. Two boiled eggs and a
kind word"
The waitress brought the eggs,
b and was moving on when the
American said: "Say! What
about the kind word"
The waitress leaned over and
whispered: Don't eat the eggs"
The Washington times., 1922-08-20
Why He Worried.

CREWE-Good heavens, how It
- rainsl / feel awfully anxious
about my wife. She's gone out
without an umbrella.
Drew-Oh, she'll be all right.
She'll take shelter in some shop.
Crewe-Exactly. That's what
makes me SO anxious.
The Washington times., 1922-08-20
In the Good Old Summer

In the Good Old Summer
time.
lie sat at the lunch counter Of
IL the small town restaurant.
He finished his sandwich and the
glass Of milk. Then pointing to
a pie back of the counter he
said: X
"Tn have a slice of that black
berry pie"
"'Taint blackberry" said the
waitress. And then, as she
"shooed" the flies with a wave Of
her arm: cts custard."
The Washington times., 1922-08-20
Wit of the Week
His Retort.

WIFE (during the spat)-I
w wasn't anxious to marry
you. ! refused you six times.
Hub-Yes, and then my luck
gave out.
The Washington times., 1922-08-20
A Little Mistake.

A Little Mistake.
GAS I was crossing the bridge
nthe other day" said an Irish
man, 81 met Pat o'Brien.
'o'Brien,' says I, how are your
Pretty well, thank you, Brady
says he. Brady says I, that's
not my name Faith says he,
and mines not o'Brien.'
"with that we sgin looked al
each other, an sure enough d
was nayther Of u.s." .:
How Disaster Occurred.
. A, GENTLEMAN in Cincinnati
"a employs two negroes to work
on his rather extensive gardens,
which he personally oversees.
One morning Sam. did not ap-
pear.
"where1s Is Sam, George?" he
asked.
''In de hospital, sah."
"In the hospitalf Why, how
in the world did that happen?"
- "Well, Sam he been a-tellin'
me ev'y mo'nin' fob ten yeahs he
gwine to lick his wife cause O.
her naggin'." .. a..
"Well?"
"Well, yestiddy she done ovah-
heah him."
The Topeka state journal., 1922-12-23
Is YEARS AGO IN TOPEKA
From the columns of
THE TOPEKA STATE JOURNAL
December 90. 1897.


Tuesday morning at 80 O'Clock a homer
pigeon was released from the National
hotel by Mr.. Gees of Kansas City. The bird
started east at high speed. 1t arrived, It
Mr.. Gees home in Kansas City just SO
minutes afterwards, a mile a minute.
Major Inman's Santa Fe Trail contains
picture of Pat Sherman, depot master Of
the Santa Fe.
Altho large numbers of persons flock to
the river to enjoy the skating the ice is
rough and rot satisfactory.
Mr. ana Mrs. J. w. Sharrard, Mr.. and
Mrs. Howard Bailey, Mr. George Sharrard
and Miss Kate Sharrard of Atchison, Mr..
Lester Sharrard of Meriden, Miss Matte
Stevenson of Waterville, and Mr. and Mrs
Arthur Kane of Kansas City, will be guests
Christmas of Mr.. and Mrs. A. J. Kane of
North Quincy street.
Miss Louise Smith entertained a few
friends at dinner Wednesday evening in
honor Of her birthday.
The Topeka state journal., 1922-12-23
The U. P. KEEPS UP
Spends $34,S14,316 on Improve
ments During 1922.
Biggest lem Is $15,197,S3s for
Rolling Stock.

In its effort to keep up with the
growing demands of transportation
on the transportation systems of the
United States, the Union Pacific, dur
ing the past year, has expended the
sum of $34,S14l316 on new equip
ment, rolling stock. freight terminals
and passenger stations. This Is in ad-
dition to S9,527,120 which has been
expended on new equipment of various
company, which is jointly owned by
the Union Pacific and the Southern
Pacific companies
The largest single item of expendi-
ture or-the company during the year
was S15,197,S3S for new rolling stock,
which included 4,545. box cars, auto
mobile cars, baggage cars and pas
senger coaches. fourteen all steel din
ing cars, eight locomotives, 100 oil
tank cars. and fifty cabooses.
The company has built or started
terminals during the year which will
cost a total of 81, ,4S4,S5S. The only
large freight facilities in Kansas
which are included in the years pro-
gram are new stock yards at Marys-
willie, which will cost $144,046.
Seven new passenger stations are
included in the program at Sterling,
Colo; Cheyenne, Wyo.; kearney, Neb.;
Fruitland. Idaho; West Yellowstone,
Mont; Caliente, New; and Yermo,
Cal The improved passenger station
facilities will cost "A total of $491, $50.
The Pacific Fruit Express company
is constructing four new icing and
storage plants, at Council Bluffs, Ia;
Lara mic, Wyo.; Pocatello, Idaho, and
Nampa, Idaho, whose total cost will
be $1,0S2,750.
The Topeka state journal., 1922-12-23
WILL MEET JAN. 4
Kansas Taxpayers Organiza-
tion Issues Convention Call
New Legislative Measures VIII
Be Chief Topic Discussed.
URGE STATE INCOME TAX LAW
Would Remove Tax Exemption
From Certain Bonds.
Combination of State Boards
To Be Recommended.

Every local farm. business. labor
and taxpayers organization" is in
vited To send delegates to the state
convention of the Kansas Taxpayers
organization. in Topeka, January 4,
Notices to this effect are being sent
out by Secretary J. NJ. Kessler. The
railroads have granted one-and-One-
third fare for round trip tickets. but
delegates are urged TO obtain a one
way certificate or receipt. If at least
$50 such certificates are presented 20
the secretary OF the taxpayers, then
the holders will be entitled to buy
the return ticket at one-third price
Tickets are good from December 80 to
January g. Secretary kessler says he
expects one thousand delegates to the
convention.
Urge New Legislation.
At the convention the main discus
sion doubtless will center on the re-
port of the legislative committee It
has outlined 4 Number of bills which
the committee desires to present to
the legislature. In addition to those
generally recognized already by the
taxpayers. a number of new ones will
be presented. Secretary kessler said
Among the more important ones are
those pertaining TO the levying of a
state income tax and removing tax eX-
emption from certain bonds Accord
ing TO a list prepared by the secre-
tary, the leading bills will be:
New road law requiring special
county election on bond issues and
giving county commissioners complete
control of construction. including au-
thority to employ. compensate and
discharge all highway engineers
cThfs would eliminate the state high
way commiSsion).
Repeal law giving county boards
power TO make bond issues-county
or without first submitting
the proposition TO a vote Of the people
obligated
Abolishment or combination OF all
state boards. commissions and inspec-
tors. especially those whose duties can
and should be performed by local au-
thorities.
Recall Of public officials-putting
into effect law alrea ly enacted.
State To Publish Blanks.
Publication of all blanks and blank
books for public use-state and coun-
ty-by the state printing plant, at
cost.
Amendment to tax laws to Include a
larger per cent of intangible property
and to classify property for taxation
purposes.
The Topeka state journal., 1922-12-23
Kansas Political Socks
Yawning For Gifts That
Are Needed, oh, So Badly
Senator Capper May Ask for Nice New Reversible Side
Bloc-Clyde M. Reed Perfectly Satisfied With What
He Has-Governor Allen Wants a Big Drum That'll
Boom 1924 1926 Senatorship-Saint Nick Davis Is
Watched For

and the fellows really ought to come
to town and help me this winter.
Think of the sad plight of the Repub-
lican party in the rural districts last
fall if it hadn't been for the saving
grace of my box car interviews"
CONGRESSMAN J. n. TINCHER:
My dear SANITY Claus: You've always
been mighty good to the folks down at
Medicine Lodge-Chester l. Long.
Jerry Simpson, Carrie Nation, Tom
McNeaI and all c uS-but L surely do
need your help right now. 1 have a
first class -Sition to come home and
be governor four years If you have
bunch of roman candles and flares
and skyrockers to go with my gov
ernorship boom. won't you please send
them out to me. You can leave them
with Lou Pettijohu in case 1 shouldn't t
be at home when you come"
The Topeka state journal., 1922-12-23
DID Nou KNOW

Eitelman is making his own C1eve-
lands Choice at 75c pound ADV.
The Topeka state journal., 1922-12-23
ALLEN MARRIED FIFTY YEARS
Golden Wedding Anniversary Will Be
Celebrated Sunday.

Mr.. and Mrs. Stephen H. Allen, of
1910 West Sixth avenue, will celebrate
their fiftieth wedding anniversary Sun
day with an informal reception for
their friends at the residence. Mr.. and
Mrs. Allen were married at Pleasanton,
Kan, in 1872. They came to Topeka
in 1894.
Mr.. Allen formerly served as a justice
of the Kansas supreme court. He has
practiced law in Topeka since that
time. Mr.. Allen is native of Sin
clairville, n. Y. Mrs. Allen was born
in Harvard. III. There are four chill
dren, Otis s Allen, Miss Nellie Allen
and George A. Allen, all of Topeka,
and Mrs. Charles Drew, of Hugoton,
Kan
The Topeka state journal., 1922-12-23
KATY TO SPEND HUGE sum
Total of $4,000. 900 To Go for Inn
mediate improvements.


y total of $15,0OO,O0O will be spent
by the Missouri Kansas-Texas lines
for new equipment and improvements
during the concluding weeks of the
receivership and Immediately follow
ing the reorganization of the lines, ac-
cording to a statement promulgated
by officials of the road at Fort Worth,
Tex, recently 4
Z Chief among the improvements will
be the completion of the Ray freight
terminal, near Denison, and the con-
stfuction of new locomotive shops at
Waco. The Waco shops will involve
an expenditure of $1,5OO,0O0, while
the Ray terminal, which was begun
last year, viii cost Approximately
$350.000, the statement said.
Among other items in the progra M
are new freight stations now under
construction in Fort Worth, Waco and
Wichita Falls. Another addition to
the facilities of the road, will be the
new terminal elevator at Kansas City,
with an initial capacity of 100000
bushels. This elevator is expected to
be completed by March 1.
Those expenditures, the statement
said, are a part of program, of i'm
provements already under way, involv-
ing a total outlay of approximately
100000.
The Topeka state journal., 1922-12-23
II MILES OF UNPAVED ROAD.
Highway to Kansas City VIII Not BE
Completed This Year.

Seventeen miles of earth road sep
arate the Topeka mOtorist and Kan
sas City. and viii continue to separate
them all winter. according to the state
highway department.
The Fort TO Fort highway is COM
ple;ely paved from Topeka to Tonga
noxie. and it is between Tonganoxie
and Kansas City that the incompleted
sap exists. which VIII not be hard
surfaced this winter.
The state highway department says
that the safest way to attempt the
Kansas City drive the rest of this
winter IS by way OF the Victory High
way. al paved. to TouganoXie.
LeaviuE TonEanoXie. the motorist
should drive straight east for eight
miles. and then, at the point where
the Fort to Fort highway turns north,
should turn south for three miles, and
thence east three miles into Bonner
Spr-nES- From Bonner Springs into
Kansas city the road is all either ma
cadamizcd or paved with concrete
Last week "A new stretch of con-
crete highway running north to LeaY-
cnworth from the point eight miles
east Of TonganoXie. was opened for
traffic. hut il does Iip= assist the mo-
tor.st who il licking to reach Kansas
City from Topeka
The Topeka state journal., 1922-12-23
MO. P. ADDS new TRAIN
Wichita shopper to Run From
Larned to Wichita.

The .sWfchita shopper a new
morning train leaving Larned, Kan,
at 5:45 d. m. and arriving in Wichita
at 1870 o'clock and returning the
same afternoon. every day, except
Sunday. will be added by the Mis-
souri, Pacific beginning January Z, A.
II. Webb. superintendent, announces.
The schedule permits nearly five hours
in Wichita between trains.
Missouri Pacific passenger train
service between Wichita and Nevada,
Mo. will hereafter he routed thru
The Topeka state journal., 1922-12-23
Methodists to Build at Abilene.

Abilene, Kan. Dec. 23.-Next spring 8
will see work begun on the new Meth
odist Episcopal church, according to
the Rev. e. L. Hovgard, pastor The
edifice will cost about $4,000, it is
planned, and will PROBABLY be ready
for OCCUPANCY by Christmas, 1923.
The Topeka state journal., 1922-12-23

Better Realty & Loan Co.
Bowman, G II. & Co.
CaSebeer. Il. NJ.
Capitol B. * l.. Assn
COttrcIl Co.
Dawson. w. t. & Co.
DaVis-WeIlcome Mortgage Co.
Faust. Frank B.
Farm Mortgage Trust Co.
Howe. Clyde A.
JasperSon & Segcr
Johnsmcyer. w. L.
Kansas Reserve B. & J.. Assn
The Topeka state journal., 1922-12-23

Ringe, Emil
Shawnee Investment Co.
Smith, Walter Ashton
Smith & Hopkins
Stanley, w. III.
Sage Land Co. Sam
Stephenson & Webb
Starsup * Cleland
Terrell, Claude L.
Topeka Mortgage Co.
Tuer-Pratt Investment Co.
TorriDgton, j. l..
Ningett Realty Co.
White Land Co.
The Topeka state journal., 1922-12-23

BellepIaine over the Midland Valley
tracks. instead of by Conway Springs,
superintendent Webb announced. The
change will become effective January
Z, he said .
The Topeka state journal., 1922-12-23
A Christmas Gift Worth While

Hand your wife deed Home of Your Own and the
Christmas bells will chime with richer meaning.
Nothing else will much to the comfort happiness and
security of your family nothing that will be significant
love for them Not only wifi it happier
Christmas greater happiness each day.
years closer welding of the family independence
for you and yours
Make up your mind today that before another Christmas
around that you. too will
The New York herald., 1922-06-11
ARTIST LAMENTS LACK
OF CULTURE TODAY
Says Cheap Reproductions
Are Preferred to Good Work.

Special Cable to THE NEw YORK HERALD.
Copyright, 1879, by THE New York HERALD.
New York Herald Bureau.
London. June 10.
The life of the artist is arduous, be-
cause postwar civilization cares more
for hot baths and limousines than for
pictures. laments c. r. w. Nevinson,
explaining the difficulty he has in
making ends meet. He admits little
enthusiasm for a state OF culture which
expects him to live on CTS CsS35) a
year.
not wanted and pictures are not
wanted; that people would rather have
an enlarged photograph of one of their
babies than spend money for a picture.
"In the last four years I've actually
earned $4,000. OF this 200 went for
working expenses paint canvas,
plates, rent, &c. Two unsuccessful ex-
hibitions in America cost me $1,000. |
was left with a balance of 1900 for four
years. My wife and I have managed
to live only by drawing upon our
savings. My wife has made some Of
my clothes and many OF her own"
For this state of things Nevinson
blames the "monstrously material
civilization of to-day. Cheap repro
ductions are. preferred to good original
work But things will improve. Before
very long people will become tired Of
hot ibakhs and limousines--even en-
largements of their babies.
The New York herald., 1922-06-11
PORTRAITS NEED NOT
BE EXACT, ARTIST SAYS
Should Be Likeness of Per-
sonolity, Unlike Photograph.

Special Gable to THE New York HERALD.
COPYRIGHT, 1922, by THE New YORK HERALD.
New York Herald Bureau.
Paris, June TO-
Should the portrait be likeness of
the sitter? Yes. but only "syntheti-
cally." says the French portraitist Van
Donghen. who defends the traditional
rights of the painter in controversy
following a recent court suit. A res
taurateur sued one of Van Donghen's
colleagues for not portraying the like
ness of son killed in the war. He
lost the case. and Paris artists ap-
plauded the decision. pointing out that
the photograph gives the superficial
aspect. while the portraitist. to evoke
the character, must penetrate the sitter's
soul. mood and background in other
words. the synthesis Of the whole per-
sonality
Van Donghen cites the case of one of
his own sitters, ordinarily OF an ex-
uberant temperament. whom he painted
as sad, afterward learning that the sitter
was ILL He says 1t was his own fault.
as he ought to have penetrated the tenn
porary phase. and he changed the por-
trait at the sitter's request. The camera,
Van Donghen says. would have repro
duced the sick man, but the artist deals
In realities. and only thus is judged.
Van Donghen instances the lack of
understanding of the artists function
shown In a recent decision by a Pitts
burgh court condemning the artist Ralph
Barton to keep the portrait of a local
millionaire because Il did not satisfy the
sitter as a likeness.
The New York herald., 1922-06-11
BALTIC FAMILY FOUND
TO BE JEWEL THIEVES
Attempt at Fraud in Berlin
Leads to Buried Gems.

Special Cable to THE NEw YORK HERALD.
Copyright, 1929. bp The New York HERALD.
New York Herald Bureau,
Berlin. June 10.
After digging up a German fortune In
jewels in the Ticrgarten, park in the
heart Of Berlin, the police have arrested
an eighteen-year-old Baltic Baron. AL
exander Won Ludinghausen Wolff, and
his mother and sister.
A jeweler called at the Wolff home
In Berlin with a collection OF jewels
from which the Baroness might choose,
While they talked the son and daughter
left the house with 100000 marks
worth of the jewels. which the young
Baron buried In the park. The Baroness
and the jeweler simultaneously COM
planned 10 the police. the Baroness say
ing that the jeweler had taken the fam
lily heirooms. The noble family and
the jeweler we're arrested. and it then
was learned the VOLTS had sold jewels
in Hamburg for 100000 marks. which
later were found to be bogus.