Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1922-04-21
JUNGLE JOHN" AND THE FLIy-
VER-OLD JERUSALEM.

Uncle John whizzed into town the
other day in Ford car instead of
behind his spanking bays as here
tofore. He parked on side street,
and made Il bee line for this office,
as has been his custom for n long
time.
1t will be recalled from uncle
Johns articles heretofore, in this pa
old Jerusalem Baptist church for
and was n man Of influence and pow
to dub him, "Chief of Police and
head of the detective agency" in old
Jerusalem. Uncle John believed in
holding tight rein over the young
sters and the gay in the church, and
IA Saturday church meetin'" sell
dom came around that the deacon
did not move to "appint II commit
tee" to see some evil doer and cite
him or her to appear before the
'church to answer for certain "high
crimes are misdemeanors." Such
church trials generally ended in an
humble confession on the part of the
weeping culprit and forgiveness on
the part of the church. On one oc-
casion the church was shocked when
charge was preferred against
Uncle John himself. lie was charg-
cd with using "profane language.
Uncle John was present. He was ask
cd to explain, he did 1t appeared
that the height of his offending was
the use of the word dammit" on a
certain occasion, the occasion being.
as explained by the deacon, when n
wild steer that he was leading to the
butchers on muddy Monday morn.
ing. The rope around the steers horns
became entangled, Uncle John said.
around the steers neck, and fcgs. and
as result got out of control. carry
ing Uncle John down the street mt
that rate of miles an hour, and
finally in the slippery mud he was
sung under store porch. When he
recovered, his hat all covered with
mud, as well as his clothing he look
ed after the disappearing steer, and
said, somewhat under his breath
dammit" but loud enough to be
heard by several boys on the store
porch. who told it in the community
and finally the church got hold Of
IL, ana the deacon was hauled before
the bar. He explained it ALL saying
that he didn't recollect saying it, but
perhaps he did, for part of the time
that steer was dragging him, and
once turned him Il complete somer-
set" and he hardly knew what hap
pcned or what he said, but that if he
did say it he was sorry for it, and
of course the church forgave him.
and extended the Fright of fellow
ship" and the old pastor made
talk on guarding the lips" etc.
This incident in the life of good
man, occurred years ago, and did
not discount him in the church. In
TACT, some of the brethren went 80
far as to say, that what the brother
sad was quite the natural thing to
say, and almost any man would have
used the same expression under like
circumstances.
But this. by the way.
Uncle John was asked how he Xix
ed his car and why he preferred n
Ford This is what he said:
First, like the Ford because il
is cheap. 1t didn't break me IN TO
pay for it. did not have to give n
mortgage or even note to nav :,
1t. If ! had wanted to "show Off"
would have bought fine chr. Rut
my FORD can be replaced by Il new
one when 1T gets rusty, and the two
wont cost rs much rs one of thelin-
or makes. | like the universal chr
because it is cheap And second. it
Is efficient. 1t gets me there ms cas-
!ly and quickly as fine car. and
takes me to places where larger
car cannot go. 1t is efficient. 1t doe,
the work ut small cost. If climb :.
telephone pole Or go into a ditch o.
get smashed up the loss is not 50
great. ~
But, Uncle John. suggested, the
little tin Lizzie gets rusty so soon
one reason, and the chief one. is. he
replied, that little or no caro- is.
taken Of the Ford. It's n chcap CA,