davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1922-02-01
TEST FOR WRITER'S OF PROSE
One Who Can Describe Clearly Proper
Way Of Tying Knot Is Master
Of Language.

Ropes more than any other subject
are, l think, test of a mans power
of exposition in prose. If ysu can des-
cribe clearly the proper way of making
this or that knot then you are a
master of the English tongue. You
are not only a master-you are a
sign, a portent, a new discoverer, an
exception among your fellow men, a
unique fellow.
For no one yet in this world surely
has attained to lucidity in this most
difficult branch of all expression.
find over and over again in the pas
sages Of those special books which
talk of ropes, such language as, "This
is a very useful knot and is made as
follows: blight is taken in the stand
ing part and is then run over right
handedly, that is with the sun, then
under the running part. and so through
both times and hauled tight by the two
ends"
But if any man should seek to save
his life on dark night in sudden
gust of wind by this description he
would lose it. He would drown.
Take the simplest of them. Take
the Glove hitch. Write sentence in
English which will expalin without
a picture) how to cast a Glove hitch
do not think you will succeed.-H.
Belloc in the New Statesman.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1922-02-01
THOUGHT NOT REALLY RAPID
Mind Moves Comparatively Slowly,
Notwithstanding Expression That
Has Become Common.

GAS quick as thought is an express
sion much used to denote the acme
of speed in action, but, like so many
popular expressions, this one is mis-
leading. Thought, or at least the men,
tai registering Of a sensation, is not
an exceedingly speedy process, the
thought impulse moving at the COM
paratively slow speed of 40 feet a
second, or Is miles an hour. Light
travels nearly nine million times as
swiftly. Thought would be hOpelessly
beaten in a race with a motorcar.
Perhaps a good illustration of the
comparative slowness of thought
waves is to assume that man had
an arm Is miles long and that, when
he was not looking a friend should
grasp his hand. Before the owner of
that arm became conscious that his
hand had been touched, the friend
would have released it. and had time
to walk four miles or eat a very eX-
tensive dinner-Kansas City Star.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1922-02-01
BELIEF HAS A FOUNDATION
Child Is "Gifted" Not Alto
: gether a FaIlacy.

The seventh child of seventh child
seventh sony is supposed to be gifted
with the power of curing headaches and
more serious ailments by the laying on
of hands, and to have other magical
powers. In other words, he is supposed
to have a gift"
Among the later discoveries in
eugenics was that the younger chill
dren of very intelligent men inherited
more of their fathers intelligence than
did the older children; or, as sometimes
happened, that the children of a
younger son were supremely gifted
with intelligence. The reason for this
according to eugenic the0ries-is that
talented men or women, like many
others, usually marry when fairly
young if they marry at all. The older
children of such a talented man have
therefore the tendency to inherit only
what mental qualities he may have de-
veloped at that time.
But supposing that the talented man,
as is usually the case. continues to de-
velop amazing mental qualities, then if
he has children when his brain is COM
rletely mature, those children will
probably inherit their fathers matured
mentality; or if they do not inherit it,
their children (the clever mans grand
children) receive the inheritance.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1922-02-01
Sweet Odors.

20 Sweet and aromatic odors have al
ways been in request among mankind.
Eastern nations especially have ever
been noted for their intense love Of
perfumes. Some years ago Professor
Tyndall showed that sweet and
aromatic odors were cooling to rooms
in other words, their presence bars
out heat-rays Of the sun, allowing
those of light chiefly to enter. An
ether-spray of perfume, kept up for
few minutes in summer room too
holly heated by the sun, has almost
a magical effect in cooling its atmos-
phere, for the reason assigned by
Doctor Tyndall. 1t has just been dis
covered that odors and perfumes are
also an antiseptic-that Is to say, pro-
tective against epidemic diseases in q
very high degree.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1922-02-01
A Note by Wordsworth.

Treasures are never exhausted; only.
sometimes, there is painful dearth of
treasure seekers.
Not long ago a book buyer. rummag
ing in a second hand store at Oxford.
unearthed copy of Coleridges
Geographic Literaria, which he bought
for $4.31. A little later, examining his
purchase at his hotel, he found on
blank page some notes initiated "W."
Reference to the Bodleian library re-
vealed that the notes were by Words
worth. He sold the book back to the
dealer the same day for f12 $780,
which to the true book lover will be
the only painful part of the story.
A curious illustration of the en-
HANGED value that an autograph gives
book is to be found in a volume that
turned up at Dobell's, London, not long
since. 1t cost Thomas Gray Is Cd
ga cents) which the poet no doubt
thought dear enough. He wrote his
name in it, however, and now it fetches
f41O ($22.50) From the Living Age.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1922-02-01
FAMOUS WRITERS OF HUMoR
Americans Who Made Their Names
Celebrated Were Essentially Men
Of Highest Character.

BILL Nye," our own Edgar Wilson
Nye, leaped into fame while writing
humorous sketches for the Laramie
Boomerang, Of which he was editor.
The name Of "Bill Nye" was bestowed
on him by his office associates. His
book, "Baled Hay" was very popular
for time, but, like much humorous
writing, it's popularity was ephemeral.
BILL Nye" was much loved by all who
knew him. He was considered "the
greatest American liar"
William T. Adams was the noted
"Oliver Optic who wrote more than
a thousand stories. He died much
mourned by young readers, for whom
most of his books were written.
Under the name of Artemus Ward,
Charles f. Browne made worldwide
reputation as a lecturer and humorist.
He was an inimitable wag; his humor
was irresponsible and kept all about
him in a constant state of merriment.
He was the first writer to adopt
phonetic spelling. He died in 1869.
y
with "Artemus Ward" and it was
Ward who bestowed the nom de plume
upon him. Melville D. Landon was es-
sentially funny man." but not truly
a humorist. He was gentle, kindly
man and one who loved his fellows.
Henry w. Shaw was the Josh Bill
ings' of humor and homely phi
losophy. He was kicked into fame by
his "Essa on the, Muel,' which netted
him $1.5O, his first money earned in
literature. He travelled and lectured
extensively on "The Probabilities of
Life; Perhaps Rain, Perhaps Not
He said: "There's cheats in all things;
even pizen is adulterated." He was
delightful man and never did a mean
thing, in his life and never had an
enemy among good men. "Josh Bill
ings" died of apoplexy in Monterey,
Cal.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1922-02-01
He Was Stumped,

Back in an inland town in Illinois in
the early days there was justice of
the peace who was very nearsighted.
One sumner day he made out some sub
poenas to be served on witnesses, and
dozed off. A fly lit in his inkwell, ex-
tracted itself after some difficulty, and
crawled onto one of the subpoenas.
The constable, who was something of
a practical joker, picked up the paper,
and pointing to the fly tracks, said:
"Judge, what Is that manner"
The Judge held the paper close to his
eyes and squinted at it for a few min
utes. Then scratching his head in per-
plexity, he answered:
'Looks like my handwriting, all
right, but darned IL can make out the
Street Journal.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1922-02-01
How Man Spells the Air.

sWindows open more would keep
doctors from the door," A very large
quantity Of fresh air is spoiled and
rendered foul by the act Of breathing.
A man spoils not less than a gallon
every minute. In eight hours breath
ing a full-grown man spoils as much
fresh air as seventeen three-bushel
sacks could hold. II he were shut up
In q room seven feet broad, seven feet
long and seven feet high, the doors
and windows fitting 50 tightly that no
air could pass through, he would die
poisoned by his own breath, in a very
few hours; in twenty-four hours he
would have spoiled oil the air con-
tanned in the room, and have convert
Cd It into poison.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1922-02-01

ways Late for an Appointment
Is Explained.

1.-THE Woman's Side of the Story"
this should be called. From time in
the beginning the naughty male has
inveighed against the once so much
meeker half, and above all for her
habit of being late. She was never
late occasionally or off and on, or even
most of the time. You could always
count upon her being late. Some said
it depended on the promptness with
which you arrived, her hardness being
proportional thereto.
But these We're ISLANDERS ever. No,
she was late without exception. And
she had her reasons.
Mans natural habitat" says Gene
We've, sis the street corner, the curb
stone club. Woman's is the home Man
stares. Woman is stared at Man
blandishes. Woman bushes. A man
can stand on the curb for an hour or
more without embarrassment. But
woman is conspicuous, no matter where
she is and a veritable cynosure when
alone. In fact, I don't think it's too
much to say that nothing is noticed so
quickly as an attractive and unescorted
woman. That is why when she makes
an engagement to meet you at a stated
place, she is sure to be at least fifteen
minutes late. 1t is all due to her dread
of being compelled to wait-and be
stared at. Oh, of course, we love to be
admired. But that's different. And
safer"
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1922-02-01
IREFUsE TO ACCEPT "sMlTH,
| members OF That Family Have Hard
work Convincing Strangers That
4 the Name Is Real.

1t isn't the fact that Smith is such
z common name that dislike it." said
Miss Smith, according to New YORK
Sun writer. but the fact that every
tone who wants to give a fictitious
name JUST says she's Miss Smith,
Every time have to introduce myself
somebody sort of smokers about it
and supposes my name is Gugen-
heimer or Cafferey or something else.
Take my sister and myself, for in
| stance. We often go out together to
the rink or down in the village for
supper
There's always some nice boys
skate around couple of times. OF
course, you don't need any official in
!, PRODUCTION these days, and the boys
know it. So they come over and in
little while they're telling us where
they work and their telephone number
and all that. It's all right, too, be-
cause you get used to that way of
. getting acquainted, and it's much bet
ter than some funny guys, who try to
hand you line that they're in the
movies or doing fiction writing.
"Well, anyway, pretty soon, if they
i like us, they say, You're a pretty
nifty little dancer I'd like to see you
again. You know all about me. so
tell me your name, will you? Then
, when 7 saw Miss Smith thew saw.
Come on, quit your kidding. That
doesn't mean anything to me. Tell
me your real name
"When I insist my name is Smith,
they say, What's the matter? You're
married or something
$50 we don't tell our real names
any more. We say we're Miss Cooper
or Stuyvesant or something else, and
since; we don't look like sisters we
each have to use different names to
be believed. Funny, isn't it?'
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1922-02-01
Frogs in Rocks and Trees,

Attention may be invited to the as
tonishing longevity Of the popular
delusion, to which even educated per-
sons at the present day give credence,
that living frogs, toads and other ami
mails are sometimes discovered in
Theoretically sealed cavities In tree
trunks and rocks.
A little reflection shows, from the
very nature Of things, that such tales
are incredible, and that those who
vouch for them must be mistaken in
their observations, ~ the most sharp
sighted persons are deceived by the
feats Of a plestidlgitator.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1922-02-01
ERROR COMMITTED BY MANY
Position in General Cloud of
Unpleasant Feeling.

The man or woman of small am
bition and smaller achievement feels
that it is his privilege and pleasure
always to leave position he is quit
ting" in cloud of unpleasant feel
ing. So long as he remains in his
position he puts up with unpleasant
ness stiles his dislikes for the men
over him and does his best to grin
and bear things. When he realizes
that he can take his destiny in his
own hands, and ask to have his name
stricken off the pay roll, he takes
dices and showing every one in the
place just how he feels about things.
He undoes in day all that he has
gained in the months or years that he
has worked there.
The man or woman with ambition
knows that the world of business is a
small place. Merely from a selfish
point of view it is essential to main
tain pleasant relations even with those
who, you feel, have treated you I'M
justly. II you nave put up with their
ill treatment while working for them
surely you ought to be more willing to
do so when you have the inner salts
faction Of knowing that you are going
In fact, you can stretch a point and
forgive and forget old rancOrs. 1t may
be, you know, that in another shuttle
up you will be placed in a position
where one of the persons for whom
you have the most spite will he placed
in position where his friendship will
mean great deal to you. So do the
well-bred thing. which is to stifle your
own petty animosities and exercise
your self-control to the extent of
leaving the old place with handshake
all-round.-
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1922-02-01
"PlayfuI" Indeed!

In his book, Flashlights From the
cavon Seas the Rev. William L..
Stfdger. of Detroit, says the Battaks
- sumatra have what he refers to
f.cetiously as a playful" custom Of
Uatting rid of their old men. When
man gets so old that they think 1t Is
.,,out time for him to tell his last tale,
they put him up coconut tree. Then
81 the young bucks Of the village get
to0ether and try to shake him down.
d ne is too feeble to hold on, and
cor,es down, that is sign of Heaven
sl,at his days are through, and they
arocAed to cook and eat him.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1922-02-01
Known by Their Hats.

All the various tribes of Persia are
to he distinguished and. recognized by
their headgear SO, at the capital,
Teheran, there is to be seen greater
: assortment Of hats and headgear than
in any ether place in the world. Some
ire picturesque. some are ludicrous
The Kurds. of which there are 6oO,OOO
in tile country, wear nat when
looks like an inverted coffee pot,
HACK. bound round with gay-colored
nandkerchiefs. That of another tribe
fs of white felt, resembling in shape
preserving kettle. Hats are ex-
clnsiyely the privilege of men. Women
do not wear headcovering.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1922-02-01


Of a jointed, articuIated arm that Is
attached to the under side of the
head At the extremity of this arm
is the mask proper, which consists Of
two folding parts like hands, each Of
which is provided with row Of small
sharp teeth on it's outer edge.
When tiny insect passes within
reach of the young dragon fly it
suddenly thrusts out the mask, grasps
the insect within it and backs it into
the mouth. When this organ is not
in use it folds back over the head,
covering it like a mask.
The young dragon fly lives in ponds
and streams; and as it is very slow
moving. this trap is its salvation.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1922-02-01
The Lure Of Office.

Senator Snortsworthy says the
greatest hardship Of public life is the
fact that 1t keeps him away from his
home town and his old friends"
Maybe so. but I notice when cleo
ton time draws near the senator acts
like man who would b glad to make
the separation permanent Birming-
ham Ago-Herald.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1922-02-01
FEW WALKERS IN AUSTRALIA
In That Respect Country Is Much
Like Our Own West Of Some
Years Ago.

There was once a gay French hui
morist, Max O'Rell, who arrived in
Australia on a hot day and straight
way declared that the chief occupa-
ton of the people was holding up
lamp posts. The adherence which
pursued that Partisan would pale be-
side the indignation which would
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1922-02-01
EIy Has Natural Tran

A peculiar traplike appendage, called
q mask, enables the young dragon fiy
to capture the mosquito wriggler on
which it feeds. The mask consists
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1922-11-01
Wednesday, November I, 1922.
THE REPUBLICAN CONGRESSIONAL
CANDIDATES.

of West N"a E"r election
of candidate Ca'ol
Daring tho primary
cam these candidates have
;he p"ratc party fe'
Rs'a" 70 v'"
Republican form Vf
majority o. mo
Id 10" be IN" "'hs OF hHi-
o. Republican admins.
Republicans policies ADMINISTRATORS" They should
VIII v uphold nc
As matter OF fact ;hsrs aA Republican
candidate, to nrs o. W Virginia
= safe nd sane representation
'a"Jlate 20 succeed hHn '
lie experienced
his
taking chances IN snF
hin.
candidate f !eeectoA -
OF Representatives He - We"
served
Stat. ALREADY he has
Republican leaders T." con-
ress O. tho United States has attracted
him naio
II n far an, seasaly recognized
alike that Congressman unless
.rs Be SOHO Thse such
Fio served the citizens o. u"
First brilliantly and has conspicuous 7e'
made good CONGRESSMAN his
FIRST term He o FAIR Play
ard recognition Of ~ guarantee his
.onnc x
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1922-11-01
SOCIAL POLITICAL
MEETINGS

Policies have changed considerably In
VS., N.re!".a in the past Few years
'..., 3. remains. s,7 tue Ohio county
Democrats to sps.ar something new
social Politics" MIS- iLe;:a Jewel!
B-,wn. deiea.eI candidate for ;he Dem
cratic nomination cor the United States
Senate. IS scheduled 20 make a. ad-
a~e-s n Wheeling a behalf q tho
Democratic candidates tonight. Spcc.a.
nv ta,ions bearing the social "R. 5. V.
=" have been sent ou, - 1000 .: :ae
-oc.al!y elite OF ono county 20 come and
near he d:scsuru. she'd Mrs. Brown. 1t
. understood .ha; ire prominent Dem e
rats appearing on Pc platform with
Mrs. Brown will wear formal e,enins
a;;!r".
Jus: what part In 2o..;.cai campaigns
,hcse SOCIAL Political Meetings" MIN
nod IN to tu;uve Is hard 70 c,retNA
whether the women voters Wi c,vo-
such events as n part Of 80 so".a.
yvn.rl OF whether - womro "ia con
ceive tho idea that tho candidate Is so-
Yca!:ag only FOR :he votes and Influence
-, ~ exclusive social ~ "a aCyhody's
guess. Al an event, the Social Pol.,.-
cal Meeting tonight "a a dangerous OK
pertinent All ~ ultimate result will
b. Watched WITH considerable interest
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1922-11-01
RIPPLING RHYMES.
~ VA r. MASONAA
WALT N AS o NJ
INDEPENDENT


walked Until: I'm lean
notices nave
to keepou the plain ana ny
heels; NvH ha -
Of journey
cuiFtI IN hand IN "s
m think greatest treasure
owthi There's no man
n n stately
wI,lr,, onn a i:,> 0 the bill"
Matthew AdaFns)
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1922-11-01

Tho IEts& Editors assertion thSS the
noo'IcEgers want A dry CongOs( has
- Il an element 81 ambiguity. Say. Ed.
d v mean = say that tn bootlcggers
expect Congress 10 consume their entire
output
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1922-11-01

u the eiCh'-lour day and siN-day week
has always h"en the industrial policy
Of that conccTH
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1922-11-01

Younger Co,k.ro,r.- Condemns -.
Hour Day and Day Wrch"-HcadliTe
It's jast possible 'ha. some Standard
Cu div!d.nGS rolct' N,y" been deferred
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1922-11-01

We note that = wealthy oil operator
Ia accused Of. operating a still.
VIVA. 4. tRkos 10 get The coin ms
guy seems 70 bc all broken OUT With.
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1922-11-01

The public service commission con-
Quoted 4 hearing Tuesday On the ap-
plicatiop OF Godfrey r. Cabot TO In
crease G2s rates in Harrison. Wire,
Roaae and Calhoun counties.
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1922-11-01

We used 70 shuddcr when We read Of
N" activities of ,hr Chinese "hatchet
men," hut he Los Angeles hammer
wor-cn'' makes EN- look like pillow
lighters N comparison.
We read iha; III" Onto Fuel Adm'nls-
.~a'or may s"l7e coal for us" n homes.
Sow Il" people who tive In thcm II
i-.l,.N's- h:vr 10 "sri1o' o. bank or TWO
III ...3,r t. IL allie 70 buy he coal.
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1922-11-01

W. s. Hallanan. state tax commits
soinc-. left last night for Berkeley
Springs. whore he and Senator Suth-
arand will make Republican cam.
paicn speeches.
Attorney General England was If
his office yesterday after being alb.
sent several days taking part in the
campaign He will speak in RaleigS
county Wednesday and Thursday.
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1922-11-01
INTEL INKLINGS


Miss Vera Dry seems 20 20 cuttin'
her teeth. 10 Judge from n" prison
vcnranr"s mectod gu, 10 tho Cincinnati
brewers
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1922-11-01

Fv"r y s bonds are slipT!n'. we note.
Bottled IN bond" however, 10 stll
above par.
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1922-11-01

AN you gotta DO 70 draw a crowd IS
% start roast!a' someone" said
preacher
Mother preacher tried Il. and standtn'
-oorn WIS al a premium in hts church.
they say.
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1922-11-01
Republican Ticket

National Ticket
For United States Senator
HOWARD SUTHERLAND
For Congress
BENJAMIN L. ROSENBLOOM
State Ticket
For Judge Supreme Court
JAMES A. MEREDITH
For State Senate
WRIGHT HUGUS
Ohio County Ticket
For House of Delegates
. CHARLES +. BACHMANN
GEORGE C. BENEKE
W. B. ELLIOTT
4. +. MARSCHNER
For County Commissioner
HENRY S. STICK
For Superintendent Schools
FRED 4. HALL
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1922-11-01

Cincinnati! m"n shot his wife be-
caue" she wouldn't wear her hat to
movie.
Some Of tho patrons nigh; Of wanted
TO shoot her /. she had, So there you are.
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1922-11-01

Commissions as notaTes public
we're issued by the secretary OF state
70 Albert c. Daughcrty. OF FIX View
and Susie Randall. Of Huntington.
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1922-11-01

Some hose arc FAST black - uni 80
va. the nnrro VIII" tried 20 harC HIM
srlf with his bed clothes in the Charles
Town Jail.
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1922-11-01

srcakin' Of "hl.e Monday" we note
'ha. he Dcmm!cs have picked this one
FOR a mcetin'.
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1922-11-01

After a casual glance over Elinor
GIynu;s How I Would Educate VIE,
Ne fail - sec where the cork!n nd
MUu&ckuen.M' CONES in.
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1922-11-01

.,.-..,sOmery, c. II. Thompson, Romeo
yerte; Ernest Echols. Glasgow, Va.
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1922-11-01

Sus,erders may ~ ugly things. but
thry keep a =; man from trembling n
expectation OF tho worst.
I; docsut always pay to keep s:ti!
and saw wood Wilhelm tried Il. and q
widow landed him.
The crossing of the Red Sea doesn't
seem so miraculous after you negotiate
q busy street
There 10 one honest BROKERAGE house.
II Rdyer;ises. Let US place YOUR n1mo