Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1922-02-24
Biggest Sucker
in the u. S."
By DOROTHY wHITcoMB


taken in. Since to tell lie was some
thing impossible to him. even If he had
had the will, hc believed in every
body else. When he left school he
went into a newspaper Office.
In one way his curious trait was
advantageous TO him. Because he be
lieved everything that was told he
made good reporter, his interest and
enthusiasm going out to all sorts of
persons. But after all one must have
discrimination In any line of enter
prise, Dick held an Imaginary inter
view with an imaginary trust magnate
who was being impersonated by an
imaginary GEOGRAPHICALLY a busi-
ness rival; the paper became Involved
in a libel suit which was terminated
by ridiculous apology, and Dick was
dropped.
He held several positions after that,
but none very long. He wanted a per-
manent post badly, because he was en-
gagged to the sweetest girl in the world
Sylvia Carrick. He believed in her
as he did in everybody else, and Syl-
via and he were to be married just as
soon as Dick began to prosper.
sylvia said Dick one evening, with
beaming eyes, II have found the way
at last. Do you know that 500 in
blackberry lands in the northeast. in
sures permanent income of $4000"7
"0h, Dickl" said Sylvia reproach-
fully.
bat 1 can prove 1t to you. because
1t is all down here in black and white"
said Dick, producing a printed PAM
phlet as long as his arm.
Dick left the following month for
the barrens of Maine, and, three
months later, sold out for $50 to invest
in a gold mine In Mexico. Dick pur-
chased 1000 shares with his $50, and
beat his way southwark by freight.
In his coat pocket there lay a letter
from Sylvia, and the much-read and
badly-frayed text ran:
II shall always believe in you and
love you, Dick, and l shall always wait
for you, even for 20 years"
When, four months later, Mr.. Alfred
Smith, who had received Dicks $50,
and who had other baptismal and
family names. encountered a ragged
tramp at the door of his Mexican
shack, he was one of the most startled
men In the world Unfortunately a
post Office fraud order had cut off his
mails, with thousands in the envelopes,
and Mr.. Smith had beaten hasty re-
treat to Mexico, selecting the mining
ground for the reason that he could
think of no more inaccessible place.
He wondered whether Dick meant
to kill him, but when Dick accepted
his explanation Immediately he was
moved with sudden anger.
"Gawd, what a boob you are" he
said. That's what makes criminals
Of me,l--suckers like you that bite at
everything. The mine was a fake.
There isn't no gold, and never was.
wanted the money, that's all"
"You mean that you have deceived
me?" inquired Dick in amazement.
you are common criminal?"
"Yep. Now what are you going to
do? Here, take this land" said Smith.
Take it as a gift from AL Smith, as
the prize for being the biggest sucker
in the United States"
That was the origin of the discovery
of the famous Alfalfa gold mine, the
history of which is too well known to
require retelling. In two years Dick
had not only made a million, but he
paid back all the investors In Mr..
Smiths enterprise, which was a re-
markable thing for such a HARDEST
ed man to do.
President Winfield was famous as
the hardest and most incredulous man
with whom one had dealings. He be-
lieved in no mans word, and least of
all in printed matter.
Three years after his Interview with
Mr.. Smith President Winfield was tray
cling northward in private car A
sudden WEAKNESS Of life had come
over him.
'Helgho," he said YEARLY, 81 wish
/ could believe I'm something again.
And something in the depths of his
consciousness answered sylvia"
''If could believe In Sylvia think
/ could believe in everything once
more" he soliloquized.
"Tm going to see Sylvia" said Dick,
and got out at the next station. Two
days later special train pulled him
into his home town. He hired a taxi
cab, and half an hour later he was sit
ting in Sylvia's parlor.
Dick" she cried TREMENDOUSLY, and
fell into his arms.
II knew you would come back" she
said. IF you had been dead some
thing would have told me, Dick"
"You never heard Of mel" exclaimed
Dick in amazement.
but you didn't write, Dick. | knew,
though. that you were too proud You
thought that 1t was not fair to me to
| hold me TO our engagement. But |