Evening star., 1922-12-10

If he were here. Why doesn't the
British ambassador let US chase his
ships and get some rum off of them.
and why does he permit the quality
Of imported Scotch to run DOWN."
"That reminds me. Speaking Of
ships, there's Albert D. Lasker. chair
man of the Shipping Board. who
wants to sell the ships"
Say. is he selling anything now"
mot a drop"
LET him alone; he is the only boot
logger who ever reformed"
No One to Roast.
Nothing doing. He's one of us.
He's always roasting Congress"
How about Samuel L. Ralston. sem
ator-elect from. Indiana? (Looking).
see he's here"
That's the man who defeated Rev.
eridge.,, Well. he might have done
worse"
you're democrat, 1 take it,"
Everybody is. recently. Say, can't
We roast the whole republican lead
ership?"
"There isn't any"
by the way, Al Smith ought to be
pounded to a finish for trading off
the New York governorship every two
years with Gov. Miller"
THAT was bad enough: but now
Calder's gone. the press gallery has
to listen to DIR. Copeland on health
hints for contented mothers"
Now that's enough of this. If
yooll take some health hints from us
you'll get out of here. Who are you.
anyway?"
1t transpired that the two imps were
newly elected members of the club,
Robert Barry of the Philadelphia
Public Ledger and walker S. Buel
of the Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Queried one of the group: Are
you the same Mr.. Buel who prophe-
sled that Senator Pomerene would
carry Ohio by 100000, if" The an
swer was affirmative.
Quite in accordance with the ira
ditionS of the craft" murmured the
interrogation, who, turning to the
other. asked. "And are you the Robert
Barry who predicted that provided so
and-so the democrats would win
Pennsylvania?
The same"
"a real Washington correspondent
The initiates were declared duly
qualified and were admitted to the
club.
Ship Bill Squfb.
a member carrying a great roll of
manuscript was halted while passing
through the hall. This is the mer-
chant marine bill" he explained. and
L
where it will be passed without the
crossing of a or the dotting of an /
\ little bit later he came feebly
wandering back. a sight to behold.
Just look at me now, he SAID, point
ing to his tatters.
y country constable came on to the
stage peering anxiously around.
I'm the constable of Squash Cen
iookin' tsp ""1s.''ri fer the " President Of the
U-nitrl States. Our township is bein'
overrid by these pesky Boo-hoos and
they're gittin' beyond our control
I've come up here to get the United
States to take over the township
government"
The President says he'll send Gen.
LIE Jeune and couple of marines at
once to take the situation in hand"
announced Mr.. Hornaday;
lie Jsuneo Wasn't he born in
louisiana"
Yes. he's native of Louisiana"
Well b'gosh, if Loosianer man
is the best you can do. guess I'll go
back and do the job myself
Follies of 1922.
"The Gridiorn Follies of 1922" was
presented by the musically gifted
members of the club, furnishing
combination of songs and drives at
men and affairs. The motive of the
sketch was outlined in this verse:
Taxes are high. New Year is nigh,
Chaos is hurled all over the world.
We bid it all adieu;
Loudly we sing, the glooms we defy,
Testing and mirth our rallying cry.
Well put the sunlight into the sky,
Gridiron guests. for you"
"A lot of candidates did not hear
the voice of the people on the 7th of
it was suggested in the
dialogue.
Yes. that so; the noise of the
election deafened them"
What made it SO loud:"
1.-The silent vote"
Say. l have been trying to think of
the names of some of the real dyed
in-the-wool progressives.
Well. l should say that Albert ].
Beveridge was a progressive"
yes. ! should say he was, with the
emphasis on the was"
How about Senator Cummins""
"Cummins. Say. the procession has
moved too fast for him You'll find
him with the conservatives now"
ELAINE Duck" Roster.
A song to Senator-elect Edwards of
New Jersey ran this way:
His name is Edward Edwards and he
lives in New Jersee.
There never was candidate who was
as wet as he;
When Edwards comes to Washington
he'll find it awful dry.
But that will make no difference and
we will tell you why.
This news will sadly disappoint the
statesmen on the hill.
Who like a quiet nip or two when
everything is still;
We know that they'll be sorry when
they get our little tip.
That Edwards never. never has a
bottle on his hip"
Announcement was made that
NH nf CT ha1
mitted to the Order of the Lame Duck
November Z. Inquiry had been made
as to the cause of their eligibility
and responses received as follows:
Senator Kellogg "The Swedish
movement.
Senator Frelinghuysen-"Ch in
the barometer"
Mr.. volstead-"Kvale weather"
Senator Townsend-"The resigna-
ton that came too late"
Gov. Miller of New York-"Alfred
the Great"
Senator Hitchcock-"The Ghosts of
Paris"
Senator Harry New-"The Life of
John Marshall"
Senator McCumber-"My sense OF
duty"
Miss Alice Robertson-"Cats."
Two clubmen. impersonating Sena-
tor Pomerene of Ohio and Albert
of Indiana. sang a topical
song after the style of a popular
duo. Here are Il couple
of the verses.
"Oh. Mr.. Reveridge! Oh. Mr. Bever-
idge"
Do you think Doc Copeland can fill
Calder's place?
Will all his senate bills
Be sugar-coated pills?
Will his nostrums
Really help the human race"