davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1922-12-19
1T NEVER FAILS
IOU SEQ somebody throw q
Y bluff In . little eame and
walk of with Q fat pot.

~IO OU seo somebody throw q
" bluff In . little same and
l. walk of with . fat pot.
You try It and somebody holds q
full house.
You have yourself PACED In .
hotel lobby to impress . hick
buyer and your tailor bobs up.
You swear off smoking and get
nine boxes Of cigarA on your
birthday.
You leave your fountain pen
around and the baby gets II.
You tell the wife It isn't cold
enough to shut Off the water and
the pipes freeze and she says. II
told you 30.
You refuse to attend what looks
IKE Q poor boxing card and there
are flve knockouts.
You take the wife to an open
ing night and the show 10 ter
ribie.
The telephone gets out Of order
for one day and rich friend
comes to town and tries to set
you for q dinner and theater in
vitation.
Your wife tries = new wash
woman and your best silk shirts
disappear.
You take q day of to play golf
and It mows.
You give the janitor your last
years cvercoat and somebody
steals your new one
You buy q radio OUTFIT and the
only thing you can hear are the
market reports.
/ You lend your umbrella and
forget to whom you lent II
The Washington times., 1922-12-19

Butchsr-Do you want this for
. stswf
Enthusiastically not, It's for
my husband.--Mink. s.
The Washington times., 1922-12-19

Stude-"Here's a mug want
engraved"
Jeweler-"Sorry.-the barber
shop 10 across tho street. t."-Ghost.
The Washington times., 1922-12-19

It was the oath Of December,
1921, when an elderly man came
into the store and said he wanted
to buy the wife a dress for her
Christmas present.
He explained that she was not
very well and would probably not
recover 70 this dress would also
answer for the last end.-Dry
Goods Economist.
The Washington times., 1922-12-19

You buy . radio outf1t ard the
only thing you can hear are the
market reports.
The Washington times., 1922-12-19

You lend your umbrella and
FORGET to whom you lent T.
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1922-11-28
NEIyEBERRYTSNE' BLAMED BY WOMEN FOR DEFEAT
 OF SEN ATOR TOWN SEND

Detroit. Mich Nov. 2S - Senator Charles F. Townsend 's statement. at tributing his defeat in the recent election to the fact chat many women believed he had committed an Offense against good government in voting 70 seat Senator Truman IT. Newberry, was COIrOborared by opinions ex- pressed by prominent women leaders Of both Democratic and Republican parties.
 Many women were not opposed to Senator Townsend personally. but to the sO-caIIed s\ewberryism' which they thought he represented" Mrs. Lucia. Grimes, president of the Women's Republican Club, said.
 T reflect expressions heard berOre the election. We asked Senator Townsend three times 10 appear be- fore this club and explain his poss- ton, but he was unable to come each time'
 Mrs. George F. Key. president of the WOnen's Democratic Club, said:
 Senator Townsend voted to unseat Senator LOrrimer for the same offensa as Senator Newberry's, but he voted to seat Senator Newberry, His action caused many members of his party to turn him down and vote for his oD- ponent. The people of Michigan de- cided they wanted no more cNewber- ryism.' !"
 Senator Newberry has stnce re- signed.
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1922-11-28

Under the auspices of the Ladies Aid society of Calvary Baptist church, d Christmas sale will be held at the church on Thursday, Dec. C, made candy will be placed on sale From , until 7:3O Q chicken patty supper will be served and a short entertainment given during the even
 ing. The society holds its meetings
 every Tuesday evening at the church at 7:S0. Mrs. 4. Helm is president of the society.
 Miss Mae Coudou, daughter of MT. and Mrs. Daniel J. COndon of SoL Gregory street, and Edward Arthur Sheehan, son of Mir. and Mrs. Joseph Sheehan of EarroI avenue, will wed Thursday morning at o'clock in
 Sacred Heart church. Rev, F. J. Gushing of New Haven, cousin of the
 bride, will perform the ceremony and
 Miss Julia Day and Miss Lucy Clan cy, friends of Miss Condon, will sinS
 several nuptial solos and duets. Miss Rita CondOn. sister of the bride, and Charles Downey will be the attend ants. After the reception to the lEl-
 mediate families, MT, and Mrs. Shee-
 han will leave for honeymoon to be spent in New York and Washing
 ton. For some time Miss COnEdon
 las been employed as a stenograph her
 Sheehan holds a responsible position
 with the Remtngton-Nost Co,
 Park City Council. Knights of Co., lumbus, will hold a. Thanksgiving re-
 Ccption and smoker, at the club house on Washington avenue, thls evening. Turkeys will be awarded as prizes for the various games. John flaw
 lzins is chairman of tho committee
 in charge.
 The members of the Bridgeport Undergraduate club of Holy Cross college have made final plans for the informal dance to be held by the club in the Srratneld hotel on Wednesday,, Dec. 27. IVittstein's orchestra from New Haven will furnish the music
 art1 1t is expected that Holy Cross men from all over the state will at tend. The committee In charge of the dance is composed of Edward Larkn, Thomas HaIler. Frank keane,
 Frank NIcGurn and Edward Kennel
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1922-11-28

Advertise In The Times
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1922-11-28

urged by Mayor James Couzens, in an address before the newly OrganlzeG Highland Park Progressive Voters Association
 Such a development, the mayor said might well become q part of the metropolitan plan which adVO- caLes of efficient government are urE- ing for Detroit.
 Detroit and vicinity will attain 2,OO0. 900 population in the next few years. the mayor decIared.
 Before any definite plan is adopted the citizens should study carefully the operation of metrop polirau or city county governments in @ number of American municipalities. the mayor advised. He cited the borough plan of New York as one of the most sue cessful in operation,
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1922-11-28
GUARANTEED
 WORK

When you place you dental work in 0ur hands y0u are ass sured that you's'e going tO re- rciye the best of attention; the very best cZ materials, and that you're going do be perfectly satisfied with your work when completed.
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1922-11-28
FINE PRIZES FOR
 CARD PARTY TONIGHT

With such prizes for the winners as 8 ton of coal. many live chickens, strips of bacon and baskets of fruit, the card party 10 be given this even ing by the Mems League of St. Charles church in the school hall on East Main street. is bound to be a great success. Already several hun dred men have signiIed their inLeD- rions of attending and enjoying the good time which the committee in charge has planned for them.
 John A. Flynn is the president of the society and has chosen the fol- lowing men to assist him in making arrangements for the affair: John Kane. Earl Bradley, John Broder-
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1922-11-28
RESTAUF3ATIEJR LEAVES
 ESTATE TO HIS WIDOW

The entire estate of Louis De mated at 53.O00. is left to Esteue De Cirandi. his widow. according to the will admitted to probate yesterday ty Probate Judge Paul L. Miller A daIle.hter. Marie is not provided for in the will and it is stated ,nat the widow will properly care for her. De CIraudi was formerly iu the Iestau- rant business
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1922-11-28
ENtPTOYF WHO RESIGNED
 GIFTS RRIDGE TENDER JOB

David Fitzgerald, formerly an eIn- 2loyee Of the Municipal Garage and who resigned because he thought Democratic leaders were going to "get him. after voting against ThOs. r. Doncrty for Democratic nominee for sheriff in the last election. has beau appointed a bridge tender by Director uf Public Works George M. COu=llin.
 FIe succeeds John O'BourEe. re- sign cd
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1922-11-28
PERSONALS

Wilbur Knapp entertained mum Der of his friends at a delightful party at his home on Boston avenue recent Iy. Those were present were Mildred Ivers- Pauline Plavnicky, Olive Brooks Hazel Mahen. Margaret Basca, Josephine Kruase, Tresa Bedner. Will bur Knapp. Ernest Liptak, William Value. Raymond Wright, stephen Hriuak, Robert Skerritt and George Miller
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1922-11-28

san. John shannon. James Walsh. F Moran. Robert Peg. Walter Barrett. George smith Joseph DunniEau. Victor Burke Arthur CarroI and J. Wendell
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1922-11-28
DETROIT. NIGaRTNC TWO MILLION POPULATION. IS
 FIGURING ON SUBWAY-S

Detroit, Mich. Nov, 28-Immediate consideration of plans for a subway to link Detroit with its suburbs was
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1922-11-28

Mrs. J. T. EIiano of eos Wilmot avenue entertained recently at q sur prise linen shower in honor of Miss Viola GiampoIo who is to wed Robert EluanO.
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1922-11-28

People who were in doubt about our announcement of Lower Prices on modern den- tfstrv CAME TO IS, SAW and WE'RE CONVINCED that pr. Chareat could save them money.
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1922-11-28

The member of the Guild of Christ Episcopal church are invited to meet today at the church parlors to make plans for the annual Christmas sale
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1922-11-28
TWO BANkRUPTCY
 PETITIONS FILED

Two petitions h bankruptcy were filed today with Referee John J. Keogh as follows. Max Lefkoft Of 1870 Main street. who conducts a clothing store Liabilities are ST. 886.97. assets 25O0. Martin MeHluan, this city. liabilities $4.497.19, assets Sl,O2O. The first meeting of the creditors of both petitioners is set for Dec. s.
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1922-11-28

The annual meeting of the United States Golf AS oCiatiOn will be held In Pittsburgh on January 13.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1922-03-18
TOM GIBBONS TOOK
THINGS TOO EASY
Found Some Swift Victories Over
nMarks, and Then Refused to
Apply Himself.

st. Paul, Mimi, March ls.--Tom
Gibbons, who built up a string OF a
score of knockouts in his quest OF the
heavyweight pugilistic championship
only to be outpointed few days ago
by Harry Greb, cannot punch any
harder than he ever could, and has
been ruined as superb boxer, tenn
porarily at least. So says his BROTH
81. the famed Phantom Mike, accord
ing to dispatches from Grand Forks,
N. ID.
81 feel sorry for Tom.' Mike said
sbut it was his own fault. Tom has
fallen into the same nut that has been
the downfall Of many other great box
ers. He thought he could hit, and he
knocked down couple Of dozen big,
slow fellows, which got him quite q
standing in the pugilistic world, but it
has ruined him as a boxer.
tom now neglects to apply him
self properly. When training to fight
d fellow Of the Greb type, he should
have trained for speed with fast box
ers. Instead Of that he worked out
with big hams" and was always prac-
ticing Knockout punches. The result
was lie was too SLOW
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1922-03-18
ENDED SEASON
WITH VICTORY
Goddard Girls Defeated
Essex Junction Girls,
16 to 10
GOOD CLEAN GAME
BY BOTH SIDES
And at Times the Contest
Was Quite Thrill
ing

The Goddard girls basketball team
closed their season successfully last
night by defeating the Essex Junction
high school aggregation at the local
gymnasium by a score of 10 to 10 IN
what was an exciting and thrilling
game. Both teams played good clean
ball from start to finish and displayed
fine pass work.
For Goddard the work of Pody
Carter and Betty Little at the forward
positions was exceptionally good. Miss
Carrier played the center position well
and was high scorer. She managed to
cage the ball three times during the
contest. Misses Scott and Greene
played the back positions and through
their good passing they managed to
keep the ball out of the danger zone.
Misses Wright and Mudgett starred
for the Essex aggregation. Miss Wright
managed to secure six points from free
throws while Miss midget dropped in
two field goals. The summary;
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1922-03-18
Hoods SarsaparilIa
ovrscoMss THAT TIRED FEELING. BUILDS UP HEALTH
PLAYED TO A TIE.
Westminster Hockey Club and st
Paul Team.

Boston, March lS.--After playing 70
minutes without score last night, the
Westminster Hockey club. of this city
and the st. Paul Mimi Hockey club
rested to-day before taking the ice
at the Boston arena tonight for the
next game Of the series to determine
the national amateur hockey cham
pionship. Westminster had won the
first two games Of the series at -.
Paul, and needed only one goal to WIN
in the third game required Tor the
title.
Whether the scoreless contest would
be declared no game and be replayed,
or be called contest without result
and count as one of the four stipn-
lated games of the championship se-
ries, is to be decided by the executive
committee to-day. If last nights
game il held to be one of the four
games provided for, Westminster mas
already won the championship. II not
they must win tonight or the teams
will meet here Tuesday. In the event
Of a tie in games won, it Is provided
that the team having the highest ag-
gregate score for the series gets the
championship. Westminster has an
advantage of four goals to date:
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1922-03-18
RED SOX SHOT
FULL OF HOLES
Renovated Boston Ameri-
cans Put UP Ludicrous
Exhibition
PITTSBURGH PLAYED
ALL AROUND EN-
Score at End of Yesterdays
Demonstration Was
IL to 0

Boston, March lS.--The renovated
Red Sox were tried out at Hot Springs,
Ark, yesterday and found wanting. The
Pirates poled hales in them 50
numerously that Manager Duffy i
said to be looking around for material
to mend them. The score OF the first
of their games was II to 0, with Pitts
burgh on the II end.
The Pirates hit so hard and their
pitchers tossed so well that there was
little opportunity for other obserya-
ton, sports writers said in the words
sent home. Quinn and Thormahlen
divided the Boston pitching burden,
with the latter very cratic The big
result OF yesterday at Hot Springs, the
seribes agreed, was the reduction OF
the Red Sox holdouts to one, Muddy
Ruel. Allan Russell and Mike Menoskey
having finally been signed
The visit Of Judge Lands to the
Braves camp alta St. Petersburg. and
his half hour flight with President
George Washington Grant in a sea-
plane, were the most exciting events at
the Braves training camp yesterday.
The big cheese OF baseball was to &C.
company the Braves to Tampa. to-day
for the game with the Senators. Mana
ger Mitchell planned to take eighteen
players with him, to line up at the
start probably as follows: Powell, cf;
Kopf or Barber, SIS; Southworth. ri;
Cruise or Nicholson, If; Boeckel, BIB;
Holke, lb; Ford, 2b; o'Neill and Glib
son. g; Miller. p.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1922-03-18
1o7 MILES in los MINUTES.
Clan Fastest Train in the World for
an English Express.

Ii was notable engineering achieve
ment on the part OF Brunei that carried
the Great Western railway from Lon
don to Bristol with scarcely the vestige
of a gradient other than two short
strips of downhill between Swindon
and Bath. Only such road as this
could make practicable a timing on
/ "a hours from Paddington to Bath
a distance OF all but 1907 miles.
/ have just taken trip behind the
big four-cylinder, six coupled engine
"Knight Of the Thistle" with its train
of nine 70-foot corridor cars.
Startling gently out OF Paddlngton,
we are through Southall before the
mile "A minute rate is reached--nlne
miles in IL l-2 minutes and only ~ IL
minutes left for the remaininf 9S
miles.
Now. the speed begins to mount high
81 miles an hour at West Drayton,
IL at Slough, and between, and be
tween Go and III it remains for 80 miles
on end. Reading, 80 miles has been
breasted in 81 liz minutes, and lhol-
sew. less minutes than miles AZ IL
miles in az 10 minutes out OF Lon
don.--when suddenly on 90 the brakes
and the whistle is heard shrieklng q
frenzied protest against adverse signals
at pidcot.
At last the offending signal arm
drops and once again our Knight
starts slipping away into speed
We dash through Swindon and we see
that Is l-2 minutes only are LETT IN
which to cover the % "a miles still be-
tween us and Bath,
Another notch of the reversing gear
and touch on the regulator and
'sKnights Of the Thistle bounds for
ward and on a level track works up to
~ miles an hour before an celebrating
dash down the two miles of Dauntsey
bank raises the speed still further 70
SO miles an hour. So we fly through
Chippenham.
Bath is now in sight. and as we have
covered the q IL miles from Swindon
to Bathampton in the record time OF
% IL minutes time keeping Is as
sured. And so the express rolls slowly
and maiestically around the big curve
of Bath station and deposits our two
coaches in the center of the platform
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1922-03-18
IN
SEMI-FINALS
Second Victory in New
En- gland Tournament
Was Over New Bedford
PLAYS PORTSMOUTH
THIS AFTERNOON
While Northampton and
Brockton Are Also
Clashing

Medford, Mass, March lS.--A new
champion among the high school bas-
ketball teams of New England was to
be decided in the Tufts college title
tourney.
Out of the preliminary play Of yes
terday, Edmunds high OF Burlington,
VT, and Portsmouth, n. H., high, in
the upper section of the draw, and
Northampton and Brockton high
schools in the lower section came
through to the semi-finals OF this ait
ernoon. The winner of the two groups
win meet in the final tonight.
All Connecticut and Rhode Island
teams were eliminated the first day,
among them Commercial high Of New
Haven, last years champions.
In the second round yesterday ait
ernoon Edmuads high defeated New
Bedford, Mass, high by the score o.
AS to ~.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1922-03-18
ST. pATRIcKs IN IRELAND.
Was Celebrated in Much Different
Fashion This Year.

Dublin, March IS tBy the Assoei
ated Press THE celebrations OF II.
Patrickis day throughout southwest
Ireland were marked by several fea-
lures denoting the change in the sta
tus Of Ireland. The trooping Of the
Union Jack at Dublin castle which
since 1900 had been an impressive cere-
mony of the name day, OF Ireland's
patron saint, to-day for the first time
was omitted.
Instead there was trooping aud
the blessing of the republican tricolor
at Marlborough hall, which was trans
ferred some time ago by the crown
forces to the Irish republican army.
AT the ceremony were many members
of the Irish general headquarters staff.
including Richard Mulcahy, minister OF
defense. and Owan 0Duffy, chief of
staff OF the Irish republican army.
The greatest Of enthusiasm prevailed.
The singing of the Soldiers Song
during the ceremony was feature.
The general use of the Gaelic Ian
ruape in the churches and at political
gatherings was another striking fea-
ture Of the day. In Dublin the only
meetings held were snti-treaty. The
largest Of these was at Harold's cross.
1t was addressed by Countess Markie-
vicz, Erskine Childers and others. Only
four hundred persons attended, and
among them were signs OF dissent from
the sentiments of the speakers.
The other speakers tainted Arthur
Griffith for prohibiting a convention OF
the volunteers, saying this was be-
cause he was afraid they would stand
up for republic.
The chief meetings in the country
were at Waterford, where canon De
Valera spoke. and at Skibbereen, where
Michael Collins was the chief attrac-
ton. Mr.. Collins was accorded an en-
thusiastie reception. the crowds being
swelled by contingents coming on spe-
cial trains from Bantry, Dunmanway
and Bandon.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1922-03-18
TO ELIMINATE aPRos."
Middle West Colleges are Considering
Plans,

Chicago, March ls.--Western confer
enee athletic directors last night COM
pleted two-dav discussion of ways
and means of eliminating profession
alism from college athletics. but re-
fused TO make public any of their pro-
eeedings other than those pertaining to
minor affairs.
Fielding H. Yost of Michigan was
named chairman of committee to
sift down plans suggested. This com
mittee will draw up definite rocommen-
dations preventing recurrence OF The
scandals which recently barred more
than score of athletics from college
sports and report back to the direc-
tors association, probably in April.
The directors then win pass on the
faculty conference committee definite
recommendation on the matter for tc-
ton at the June meeting in Iowa City.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1922-03-18
LEONARD GETS SURPRISE.
His Bout With Clinton Will be Deci
sion Affair.

Boston. March Is. Benny Leonard,
lightweight champion of the world,
must box ten rounds to a decision
against Johnny Clinton, New England
champion lightweight, when they meet
at the Boston Arena next Mondy night.
the Massachusetts, state boxing com
missioner has ruled The champion, it
was said to-day, had supposed that the
bout was to be only an exhibition with
out decision. The bout, however, has
been advertised as real fight and
Clinton has been in training for the
past two weeks under that impression.
The proceeds OF the fight are TO go
to the charity fund of the Boston lodge
of Elks.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1922-03-18
Of Course John Was spoofing

The late John kendrick Bangs came
npon a friend one afternoon in field
taking photographs. His camera was
pointed at a haymow and the scene
while one to delight a person of keen
artistic sensibility, apparently did not
strike the humorist as anything out
Of the ordinary.
Halo, Rudolph" he remarked,
what in the world are you taking
thereg"
aJust YOU come over here and look
at the reflection on my ground glass
and you viii see, said his friend with
much fervor. Bangs yentured over and
put his head under the clotht.
"Ah. now | see" he said grayely.
@The haymow Is standing upside
down. boston Transcript.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1922-03-18
TO COMPLETE WEST VIRGINIA.
Work ON that Battleship is Ordered
Resumed

Washington, d. G., March ls.--Secre-
tary DENLY yesterday ordered work on
completion OF the battleship West
Virginia, building in the yards of the
Newport News shipbuilding and dry
docks company, resumed, that vessel
having been selected for completion
instead Of the battleship Washington
under the terms Of the naval limita
ton.
The special naval board. headed by
Rear Admiral MeElroy, which inyesti-
gated for the secretary the degree OF
completion of the two ships, Secretary
Denby's announcement said. found the
West Virginia to be eighty per cent
finished, as compared to the 90 per cent
completed status of the Washington.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1922-03-18
NAVY FUEL SITUATION.
Will Be Taken UP By Pres. Harding on
His Return to Washington.

st. Augustine, Fla, March is By the
Associated Press President Harding
informed Secretary DENLY yesterday
that upon his return to Washington he
would take up the navy fuel situation
as a result Of congressional reductions
in the appropriation for this purpose.
He made this statement when the ser
rotary called him by long distance tel
ephone and discussed the situation
which naval officials say may result in
drastic orders being issued, curtailing
the movement Of vessels.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1922-03-18
Respecting tire Law.

Recently one Of the dealers in intox-
icants who carries on his business with
some Of the beet people in the city.
dropped in upon one of hrs customers
and began 20 display his wares.
II have some VERY tne Scotch. some
vtrmoath. rye. bourbon. creme d
rasnthe. gin and a few quarts Of chan
payne today announced the bootlez
esr. What can I eel youf-
Have you any absinths y one 81
lis prospective purchasers inquired
-Na. inaeed.~ responded tie bootleg.
rcr. -Ift against the lav b eel sb.
s.ufhs. Yes Iork sun.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1922-03-18
Isn't This-er-a bit Irreverent.

Correspondent tells OF an amusing
Spoonersirn she once heard.-It was
before the days Of automobiles and
young woman gazing out of the win
dow of her home saw some stylish Wis
itors approaching. Instead of saying
as she intended. Mother, here come
the Cabots in their carriage" she ex-
claimed. Here come the Carrots In
their cabbage. Boston Transcript