The spectator., 1922-05-05
HOW SlLLYl
By eLADls F. PRAY


 It was silly sort of q quarrel, but for the matter of that, all quarreling Is silly; and when two silly young people are concerned in it, it might be said that the quarrel is supremely silly. Besides, 1t was a breakfast ta- ble quarrel, and breakfast time is the very silliest time of day to quarrel, es- pecially If 1t be a fine spring day, as this was.
 Young Jackie Jones Git might as we'll be Jackie Jones as what 1t really is) lscOwled across at Mrs. Jackie Jones Cher name for whole month";, who wept most unbecomingly-in fact, she sniffied-and expounded this law of his little universe:
 T will not countenance any such proceeding. Mrs. Jones. You must re- spect my wishes in this matter. This is my house" (s-h-h, 1t was two rooms and bath and kitchenette), "and here my word must stand as the supreme authority. If you do not think this a reasonable condition, you, of course have the liberty of finding other con ditions more suitable elsewhere. So long as this is your domicile, you must obey me-"
 Just then Mrs. Jackie Jones caught sight of her unbecoming red eyes and red nose in the side of her shiny new percolator, which, 1t must be con- fessed did not decrease the unbecom- ingness to any degree. This reflection was so narrowing to her womanly feel ings that she immediately forgot all her bridely resolution to never, never quarrel.
 Al right then, Jackie Jones, will go elsewhere, as you choose to call 1t, and I'm not going home to mother. either, to have that catty Martha whis- pering things about me. I'll go and live with Lucie Vampum and support myself by helping her dressmake. Per haps when I'm really gone, you'll val ue my affection"
 Jackie regarded her with the same expression one would expect to find on the face of prince of the blood royal, if suddenly informed by his con- sort that she had an idea of doing housework for diversion.
 "Lucie Vampum he managed to squirt out in highly concentrated hor- TOT, you mean to say that you would go to live with that divorcee? That that-that woman?"
 "Yes, Lucie Vampum, that woman. and"
 But, Bunnie!" in his dismay at the dreadful prospect, he reverted to his usual name for his recalcitrant spouse, you told me only about week ago that you did not believe in divorce. and that you thought Lucie Vampum to be outside the consideration of any one worth while."
 "Yes, l know; but that was before my own happiness was ruined" oh, so sadly, that was before l lost my husbands love-"
 'Now, Bunny, be reasonable"
 Nothing is so aggravating as to be adjured to reason in that particular tone Ofvoice, especially to be so ad- jured by person so very unreason- able as to quarrel with one.
 T am reasonable, Jackie Jones; I am not the unreasonable member of the family. l will not discuss 1t any more, and besides, if you don't hurry. you'll miss your car. When you come back this evening I'll be gone with ev- erything that might remind you of me-" Then. in Quavering voice, "G-o-o-d-by" (Sob.)
 Poor Jackie lost all that superb dig nifty. acquired after painful and long observation of Mir. Quimby, his supe- rior and the head clerk at the office. and he actually pleaded with his silly little wife. It was a desperate situa- tion; he really might miss that car.
 LAW, Bunnie-" then he became in. coherent.
 Bunnie began to relent. In fact, she had to relent. There remained only one minute of that five minutes for which she had quarrelled so bit- terly with her Jackie; that five min- utes that caused the quarrel in the first place. Oh, l forgot that you didn't know what caused 1t! That 
 part of 1t was so silly l am quite ashamed to tell you about it.
 You see, Mrs. Jackie had walked Jackie up full five minutes of seven to tell her once more that he would never cease to love her. It was not really necessary for Jackie to wake until seven, and his love very nearly did cease then and there. Had he not told her at least ten thousand times with variations in the past month?
 Now, if the quarrel and Its cause were silly. what must you think of the reconciliation? My courage fails me. You will simply imagine it. It ended up by his telling her he loved her and would never cease to love her six times more, and in spite of all he caught his car. The silly little Mrs. Jackie had set the clock ahead five minutes the night before.