The Holbrook news., 1922-06-23
Comedy Divorce
 in Arizona Town

l suspect that John was holding some thing out on her. He used to com, in late at night whistling ''The Sheik' through his false teeth and refusin. to answer any questions.
 Mrs. Oatman immediately suspected Starlight Ocatillo, light sorrel flap per of the Yavapai tribe, who wore hers rolled down.
 Mrs. Oatman put mud on her hair She then began cutting down on the menu. From then on she fed Johr chile con carne and prunes, tortillas and prunes, enchiladas and prunes frijoles and prunes and tamales-ant prunes. For variety she served prunes.
 John went out back of the house one day and built a covered pit Working patiently, he got it filled with Gila monsters, lizards, vinagrones scorpions, tarantulas and rattlesnakes Estelle failed to fall into 1t, but this was simply because she was stronger than John.
 The Last Straw.
 John then moodily took to eating loco-weed. Cheered by its kindly stimulation he dragged Estelle out of the shack one scorching hot after noon, hoisted her to the top of a candelabra cactus 25 feet high and tied her there among the thorns.
 Late in the evening neighbors liv- ing two miles away heard her pro- tests and cut her down; but Estelle was now convinced that her husbands affection for her was failing. She hired Lawyer Lucas and went into court.
 John hired the other lawyer in Oat- man-H. c. Topps, who used to be jigger boss on the graveyard shift in Death Valleys Funeral range, but who now owns and operates a ranch where he grows cactus spines for pho- nograph needles. Attorney TOpps at once scored heavily by invoking an old French law that provides for three judges instead of one and getting two friends of Johns on the bench.
 The following jurors were selected {: Rattlesnake Charlie Dix, Shorthand Dirty O'Connor, Hassayampa Kr,-uss, Cactus Jasper (from Gila Monster Center). Holy-Roller ORourke, Silver Tongue Sam Bayless, Plug Hat Shank, Hula Hula Kennedy. Painless Hoag, Doggy Newton, Chuckwall A. Pugh and Gold Tooth Nellie-formerly of the camp at Goldfields and now proprietress of Ye Olde Arts Shoppe.
 Abduction of Starlight.
 When court convened there wasn't an inch of standing room left. Mrs. Oatman had nine of her children on the benches, the tenth was at home listening to the radiophOne.
 The beautiful Starlight, named as the woman in the case, was called to the stand and charged with break ing up the Oatman home.
 q was abducted" she said.
 "When?" asked Lawyer Lucas.
 "Once in July" said Starlight, "Gnd several times last February and March
 q object" yelled Attorney Topps. He was overruled.
 State concisely as possible the cir cumstances of your abduction" said Lawyer Lucas.
 "Why." said Starlight, "I swan the Colorado river to have a conference with Oatman, and he abducted me.
 The defendant was put on the stand.
 How much property are you worth, John?" said Judge Zadock Sheffield.
 The defendant admitted that he had once owned mining claims. but had traded them off for pair of overalls and new straw hat, the claims sub- sequently produced S11,000,O00 in gold. Pressed as to his present assets, he asserted that he still owned the overalls, but that his soreback pinto cayuse had eaten the straw hat The only gold he possessed. he testified, was what Painless Hoag had put into his false teeth to make them look natural.
 John was sentenced to one months work on the country highways, and after that to take job at painting signs on the rocks along the road to read: "Where Will You Spend Your Eternity?'
 The divorce application was dis missed, but as Estelle left the court room she was presented with a bou- quet of mariposa lilies by the Ladies' Literary club of Oatman.
 The jury was asked by Judge