The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1922-01-22

what he was Ike. Bert. the valet, told me-
mat much. Nov. have got your psrmis-
sion to act In the matter, sirf II % tn -
on with t."
fou have" Whispered the Honorsbis
Gerald cautiously. taking out his wallet
And that reminds me that there Win be
a little cost attached 10 e." said Benjsnin,
drawing closer. ct shall and myself con-
PEELED to use some expensive matsr1ais.''
The Honorable Gerald handed BENJAMIN q
large bin. adding that there were more where
that came from and the interview was ended.
IT WILL already have been netsd that
l Benjamin simson spent a period Of bis
life az fsctotum to q druggist, and n was
hardly likely that a man Of simson's breed
would leave such a fascinating oceupsties
without acquiring q variety Of formuiss
likely to be Of use in after life. Among the
tit-bits with which be came away was Q
formula for the making Of hohe made
printing paper for use IN photography. He
had frequently amused himself az the drug
Eist's shop BY impregnatins his finger
nails and printing out crude faces upa
them with negatives Of his own stencfiins.
This knowledge he now called into play.
First be had to find an sccomplice-not
q difbcult matter. considering the colonel's
unpopularity among the servants on sc-
count Of his adherence Of the tipping sys.
tenn. II was the custom Of the colonel 70
take his bath every morning In his dressing
room. and Of this Benjamin was well svars.
he therefore approached, via Bert the valet,
the mental whose duty II was 10 prepare
the bath In time for the colonies rising.
The bestowsl Of small fee was suncient 10
procure for Benjamin a short and private
interview with the bath. to take plscs %
the following morning.
Benjamin thought II a. well 10 give Lord
whipstiek an inklins that something vn
rider on New Years Eve.
Begging your pardon, your lordship,~
he began, with deference-''besrinG yous
pardon, me lord. and ~ II int out Of my
plsce TO mention the matter. should Ike
to say q few words to your lordship on Q
particular subject"
The peer nodded for Benjsmin to con-
naue.
rs about this here Colonel cuser. NJ
lord" said the butler.
'sDssh Colonel Cusser-er-whst an I
saving? mssn-er-vhst has Colonel
cusser 10 do with your said Lord Whip
stick, quickly cSrrsetins himself.
Perrin your pardon again, your lord
shin" replied Benjamin, but n IL isn't cut
AZ nv place TO mention Il. ] venture 70
remark that that colonel is sickenins for
,one horrible disease. I've been watching
~
''well. you can just discontinue your
observations" said his lordship, until you
are appointed medical adviser to the bcuss-
hold, What the deucs has IL to do with
,ou II Colonel Cusser has rot all the dis
ease, known to the civilized worldi You
came here az a butler. and your sob 10 to
buttle. Go away, and don't trouble me
sgsin"
But there was a twinkle In Lord Whip
s,ick', eve which Benjamin was quick 10
notice and be laughed 20 imnoderstely that
nirht that Mr. Bumpus gave him q stsrn
Lecture on correct manners when staying
under quslity's roof.
NrEw YEARS DAY dawnsd Just a. Ben
IN ismin hoped il would dawn, % that the
colonel dressed by artificial light, but was
cri,ply bright when the colonel took his seal
onposite III. big windows at breakfast.
BENJAMIN toyed sbstrsetedly with the
visnds.
IL might have been imagined that a. Il
was New Years morning the colonel would
have given some one, at least, the opportu-
nifty TO speak Of New Years. Not 90 Colonel
Cusser. He had thought Of something very
special to tell them, something which oe-
Cured to him in India. BE was immense.
But dignity stands on slippery ground.
An archbishop with q wasp on his nose has
hardly more dignity than q circus clown
He who has a tower Of ststeliness becomes
human jest. And 20 1t was with Colonel
Cusser.
He was just explaining how he had stood
alone victorious, with rings Of slain round
him, when some one remarked that be wa
looking very fresh.
''Bsi Jove, yesI" said the colonel. a.
ways in the best Of conditionr'.
But say, colonel" interrupted another
guest, you are rettins fresher every min
ute"
By this time all eyes were on the coionsl.
whose face was assuming q delicate red.
brown tone.
Hes going to have q ct =" said ons.
Slap him on the bsckl' said snotha.
carrying his suggestion into action and
humping the colonel on the back untn b
choked.
81 object to practical jokesl'' rsv>d IN,
latter. Then he caught sight Of his own
hands. Great Scott! L. my face that
colorf'
"Worse!" cried Eileen az Ben tried 20
control his laughter and several guests trisd