The Covington leader. (Covington, Tenn.) 18??-current, 1922-07-06
) aNNNAANANNNNNNNN -
HOW TO TELEPHONE



| have observed single men trying
to telephone girls to please go riding
with them, and | have observed mar
ried men trying to telephone their
wives that they would be unable to
get home in time to take them riding,
and have seen people in all kinds
o. fixes trying to use the telephone.
This has touched tender spot in ny
heart and | feel constrained to i'm
part some Of my superior knowledge
on this subject as above headed.
In the first place, about the best
thing to do is to ring the bell and
take down the receiver and place
same to the ear. This is done, not
with the expectation of getting any
body to answer, but just because you
must have some place to start, and
this is about as good a place to start
as anywhere else, especially if you
want to make long job of it. If you
do not like this kind of start and
are pretty well up on the power Of
the mind and believe in psychology,
you might try sitting down and think
ing right hard about the telephone
girl for about Is minutes. However,
you should not be at home when you
do this, as your wife might ask you
what you are thinking about and
might not like the idea Of your think
ing of the telephone girl so much,
especially if the said girl is good
looking, Of course, after you try the
last mentioned plan, you have to ring
the bell anyway, but if you have
guessed the exact time that the girl
is going to answer, you might get a
response. This plan works about
once in something like SO times. The
ringing plans works something like
once in rs times. Time passes rap
idly while you are trying to get the
telephone girl to answer. You can
spend an hour ringing in just about
three minutes. The ringing business
gets on your nerves pretty quickly
You will soon begin to fidget right
lively. You might start the graphic
phone and fidget to music if you pre-
fer that kind of fidgeting. Besides,
you can amuse the baby in this way
and skill two birds with one stone"
You should hang up receiver occas-
ionally and make a few heated re-
marks about the telephone girl and
the telephone business in general. In
fact, it is best to do this quite often,
the reasons for which you will see
later on. If one arm gets tired ring
ing you can try the other one awhile.
You should frown little stronger
and use little stronger language
while the receiver is up, The tele-
phone girl is enjoying your trouble
and the kids at home are enjoying it,
too. After you are worn out you will
probably hear one word, Number ?"
This gives you az chance to use your
pessimism a little further. You ex-
pected the number to be busy and
meet your expectations about 9 in 10
times. You then sit down and wait
80 seconds, ring again and again and
then tell the girl that it has been one
half hour since you tried the first
time. When you do finally get your
party your voice is 50 weak and frail
that you will probably get balled out
by said party because you can not
talk loud enough for him or her to
hear.
The above instructions are mostly
for married men, but any instructions
bread enough to cover a. married
mans case will more than cover any
other case.