davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1922-11-26
THE FAITHFUL FEW.

(By JAMES McCHEsNEY PRICKETr)
Let's drink to the health Of the faith
Who serve without discord,
And shoulder the work Of their fellow
men,
Nor expect no great reward. -.
It's the faithful few In the haunts Of
The desk, the store. or bank
Who battle ON while the lax ones tire.
And they are known In the humblest
rank.
There are faithful ones In the church.
ah yes,
The city or village green.
Who attend each Sabbath. rain or
Living their faith between.
The most faithful one Of all OF these
'Tis q mother with silvery hair,
Who sits and sews by the midnight
The stockings to darn with care.
Through storm and streSs the faithful
They keep Iife's boat a-saIi.
They weave and spin while the lag
They are there when the weakiings
There are those who shirk on the road
Learn ...o.; sSi from the years hard
And those who travel the old worn
Hut for them III. tn. golden rule.
The Washington times., 1922-11-26

~ NE time foot by the of Sol something
other to my old home town out west and gets a
job for himself in the o. K barber shop shaving
citizens.
He does not let it for while that he is foot
but he finally mentions several parties and then there
is great Indignation in community.
There great Indignation because citizens feel that
somebody trying insult little city Naturally
body in town knows the barber plant They know that
he is planted in for certain purpose and that
pretty some boys will be along with propositions
They know this because foot racing invented town.
and aside before out Of date and c
feel that the planting of this footracer shows that
body thinks they lot of neck yokes.
They do let the barber know they onto him. but
there talk of taking him out and hanging him
whereas just lesson and the chances will be done
if it is not for grandpap My grandpap tells the citizens
not to do anything rash but wait and what off,
Well, enough it not long before the boys happen
in and they boys from out Of Omaha Neb and they
with plenty of dough They around town good
timing and all, and saying they catemn, thinking
that nobody figures their real angle.
The Washington times., 1922-11-26

Reedins' Father thought not,
Should no prostitute his Tai
ents by working In a bankf The
Town Banker advised him not
to DO so,
One day an inspiration cana
to him, Why not move up to
the big City and make his Fer
tune and carry a gold. headed
Caneq
He was undefiled and incor-
ruptibls and, as nearly as he
COULD learn an absolutely honest
Young man who would find very
little Competition In any Large
Town.
So he migrated to an. important
Settlement which had Cable Cars
and C.gar Store Indians and
all the other Adjuncts of metro
poiitan Gayety.
He settled down In a Hall
Bedroom which had originally
been planned as a closet. BY
studying the Want Ads he
learned that there was q General
demand for swedes who could
feed Furnace and look after
the Lawn.
After a week he abandoned his
original Intentions Of becoming
The Washington times., 1922-11-26
By GEORGE AIDE

hood Associates were ~gettins
ready to. place a Memorial Tab.
let to mark the Spot at which
he had first seen the Light of
Day.
WAS DRY GETTING BY,
He wondered what had become
of Dry. his rusty little Playmate
of long ago. Probably he was
indulging in Manual Labor and
getting One-Fifty a Day. He
decided to go back and hunt up
Dry and treat him as an Equal
and give him an Imported Cigar.
Bills Chariot Of Fire went
tearing over the improved Roads
Of his Native State. defying Con.
stables and killing Chickens.
After travelling a Long Dis
tance and failing TO pick UP any
familiar Landmarks, he found
himself in the congested Thor.
oughfare of a Pepulous Town
with Boulevard Lamps. Traffic
Policemen. Movies. Eskimo Pie
and all the other By-Products of
Advancing Civilization.
He stopped in from Of the First
National Bank to make Inquiry
The Washington times., 1922-11-26

He was married in q Church
the night after the Bachelor Din
ner and some of his. Friends who
were present told him all about
it later on.
Now we find him really Ar.
rived. He could cash a Check
without being Measured and
Photographed.
After he began to do we'll in
the City, much to the Surprise
Of all the Neighbors back in the
Clump of Naples, he was claimed
as one of our Boys and received
many Letters in regard to Com.
ing Across for the New Camp
beilite Church, the Community
Building, &c, &C.
Relatives coming up to the City
on cheap Excursions hunted him
UP and boarded with him and
then went back and reported
that his Wife was Extravagant.
As he became more and more
important, he felt a Yearn to 60
back to the birthplace and give
the Cackle to some Of the
Paleozoic Fossils who had pre-
dicted that he would wind up in
the Poor House.
Bill imagined that his Cnild.
The Washington times., 1922-11-26

better sivs him the Higher Edu.
cation.
He was meant for . lawyer.
unless It should develop that,
no had weak lungs. In which
case he was to be q Preacher.
Soon after passing the Portals
no acquired . frat Pin. a short
Cutaway Coat and a pack Of
Sweet Caps and learned to carry
tho Basso part in MY Bonnie
Lies Over the Ocean,"
He took a Leading Part in all
Student activities involving Lar
ceny, Mayhem and Disturbance
of the Peace, thereby lay ng
Broad and Strong the Founda.
ton of his future usefulness as q
Member Of the Citizens Purity
League.
His mastery Grafton on the
impending Conflict between Capt.
tai and Labor is 'stn being used.
About q week after paying
Five Dollars for his Sheepskin
the Commencement flowers had
witherea and he found himself
Face to Face with the grea.
World.
Should he settle down at home
and Undertake a Course Of I. ght
The Washington times., 1922-11-26

General Manager of the U. 8.
Steel Company and started In a.
third assistant Slave in q twe-
acre effioe.
Even a peor Boy from the
Country whe keeps his Hands
and Face clean and his Cuffs
trimmed and whe Is Fexy enough
to get acquainted with the Fe-
male Relatives Of his Employer,
will sooner or later land In Di.
vision Number One and wear
Bells.
Bill never quarreied with his
Meal Ticket or hid his Light un.
der a Bushel and In due time
he began to take Lunch with the
Big Squash who sat in the Ma
hogany Office.
RELATIVES BOARD WITH HIM.
He moved into a European
Hotel that had a Carte du Jour
and q Band Of Female Tommy.
hawkers who sat around In
Rocking Chairs all day adding up
what they knew about the Mar
ried Men.
Bill picked out one of the
incest Girls who ever sat through
o symphony Concert and began
to Hound her. .-...
The Washington times., 1922-11-26
ONE CASE WHERE THE
KNOCKERS GOT THEIRS.
lFrom linton. Mo. Times)

You remember that Noah had to
work long time OH the ark. II
was uphill business, too. at bert.
to go ON toiling and sweating day
after day in tue hot sun. building
a boat away out on dry land while
the local anvil and hammer COM
mittee sat around splitting toDGc
Juice on his lumber. whiting up
his pine boards with their jack
Knives and telling him what a fool
he was to expect IA big rain In a
country that was too dry to raise
alfalfa. But he kept at II. Finally
the flood came and every mothers
son of the croakers was drowned
This In the only instance we know
of in either sacred or profane his
tory where bunch of knockers
got exactly what was coming to
them.
The Washington times., 1922-11-26

of a portiy Gentleman In Tailor.
Made Clothes whose Lodge Em.
blem must have weighed close to
u Pound.
This Is the Town you are
seeking" replied Dry. who was
Mayor. President Of the Bank
and Chairman Of the Greens
Committee.
After Our Hero recovered Con-
seriousness. Cry told him that II
he had stuck around Home in.
stead Of going to the City. prob.
ably he would have made Some
thing cut Of Himself.
The local Paper took Cog
nixanoe Of the Wanderers Re
turn in the following language:
civilian Tucker. a former Resi-.
dent. Sundayed here rs the
Guest Of our genial and popular
FellowTownsman, Colonel Hig.
gins"
Was Dry a Coionelf
Wen say he was He had
been on the Governors Staff for
Four Years.
MORAL: You can't keep
Squirrel on the Ground.
tcspyr,sht is,a ~ e..rs. ADJ
The Washington times., 1922-11-26
FASHION NOTE
A another sign
OF the changing seasons
Ears In out
And legs IL In.
ARKANSAS POET.
SWEDISH-AMERICAN.

Hello, Olaaf. where you ban SO
long?"
IT ban got married"
That's good"
Not so good. my wife's got two
children"
That's bad"
Not SO bad, she got $4,000"
That's good"
mot so good, she wouldn't give
me the money"
That's bad"
Not so bad. She built a house"
That's good"
Not so good. the house burned
down"
That's bad"
"Nct so bad. my wife burned up
in tho house"
JOHANSEN.
The Washington times., 1922-11-26

would come along with one Ele-
phant and thirty-sasht shsll.work.
ers.
There sprans up a vast Friend
ship between Our Hero and an
other Son of the Soil known as
Dry. All through the golden
Hours Of the Summertime hs
and Dry played Two-oid-Cat and
when the somber Pail Of Dark.
ness settled on the Earth his
only Problem was how to get to
Bed without holding his Feet
under the Pump.
II tired Of Childish Play he
would slip off to the Haymow
and study the works Of Beadls.
REFUSED TO WORK.
He attended Sunday school just
before Christmas,
Bill often confided to Orby his
Plans for the Future. He wanted
to grow up and have q full set
of whisixers and be elected to
Congress.
About the time that Bill be-
gan to arrange to have his own
Cup at the Barber Shop. his par
ents decided that. inasmuch as
ne refused to Work, they had
The Washington times., 1922-11-26
THE NATURAL WAY.

A Southerner. at a recent ban.
quet in Washington, related this
one:
A philanthropic Southerner
heard that a negro family In the
Vicinity was in destitute circum.
stances. He called and found the
report to be true. The family
consisted of a mother. a fifteen.
year-old son and three small chill
dren.
Here, my son." he said to the
Oldest boy, take this money ($3)
and buy turkey for your Christ.
mas dinner"
No sooner had he gone than the
mother said. In stern voice:
Here, jackson, gimme dat money
and yo' go and git dat turkey In
de natural way"
VIRGINIA ED.
The Washington times., 1922-11-26

NCE there was a City Man
with q Past. Those who saw
~ him eating Terrapin at four
dollars per Throw little suspected
that he had been at one time an
obscure Unit in a Town never
mentioned except by the Time Ta-
bIs.
Truly It is not the Getaway that
counts II you are going strong
At the Wire.
Our Hero was known to his
Grandmother ~ william Henry
Harrison Tucker. His, outlaw As
sociatss who made existence .
Living He'll for the Town Mar
shai called him "Bin." The teach.
er called him about three times
. Day.
Bin was born in q Hamlet which
was bounded on the North by q
patch Of Jack Oaks. on the East
by q Frog Preserve. on the South
by q wide stretch of Open Coun-
try. and on the West by a vir.,
gin wilderness. The principal
Industry of the place was knit
inr the Regular Candidates.
Tho early years Of Bilps career
were crowded with Experiences.
Ainoet every summer a Circus
The Washington times., 1922-11-26
THE MEAN OLD THING.

A sweet young thing was relat-
ing her experience Of a recent
visit to Sherwood Forest: 81
was walking across the golf
course and q little white ball
came rolling across the grass.
II stopped ut my feet. picked
II up and threw II hack to q man
who was coming across the links.
He came on up and asked me
where ] got that ball. and when ]
showed him he put II right down
on the ground and took . stick
and knocked 1t away"
GOLFER.
The Washington times., 1922-11-26

S'WOTS THIS?

Dear Bill: ] am fully convinced
that rummage sales do not exist
among the females Of interior
Africa or the South Sea islands,
but l do wonder what the ladies'
Of those sections do to amuse
themselves socially, or how they
manage TO get rid Of the few
things they are tired Of.
Among us, OF course, the ladies
always contribute things they do
not want to the rummage sales,
out, rs understand II, the African
and South Sea Island ladies' have
no. hing to cast off unless it is
their nose rings. =.
"A RADICAL" says one column
ist, "is chap who hasn't Jared
well at the feed trough"
The Washington times., 1922-11-26

I'se ah jes' akeer'n' quiet,
Bin an read'n' 40 an rimes
Dat In printed cry evenin'
In dc Star, de News, an Times.
Do News dey habe dere fOlkes' page.
Dc Star. dey habe paragraphs,
But. 60 long chile. dey amt nowhar
VIII Heard and Seen TO- laughs.
You see dey all is follerin' us;
Dat sho's ives in dc lead.
An Heard and Seen will Always be
De bestus paper ives can read.
! chases ter de OIL news stan
Each day bout haf pas three,
An shouts: "Jes' Civ me Heard
and Seen,
Fo' dat's guide enuff TO- me.
PANSY BUSH.
The Washington times., 1922-11-26
UNCLE ZEKE.
A CLOSED CORPORATION.

/: In q certain English parish the
church collection. after being
counted, was placed In box,
which was consigned to the care
Of the minister, who hid 1t, with
ghe key, in a place known only to
himself and the sexton.
=. Henry" he declared gravely,
Someone has been taking the
church money from the box and
you know no one has access to II
but you and myself"
"Well," replied the sexton calmly,
''if that's the case, it's up to you
and mo to make It up between
ourselves and say nothin' to no.
body"
p n n
The Washington times., 1922-11-26

"What this country needs"
said Ezra Pipp, in a lucid mo-
msnt after looking over the list
of books published during the
year, "is a severe shortage of
paper pulp"
PAUL WHITE.
The Washington times., 1922-11-26

1t pas a rainy day when the
e1-Kqiser married, but re-
ports are that he had sense
enough to lay up for a rainy
day by sending most of his
money to this country for
safekeeping.
KEY.
The Washington times., 1922-11-26
THA N K SCI VIM 9.

"Gobble" "GobbIei" "Gohbiot'' TIE
Waited down the highway. frcm
farming lands aear,y,
Bring, tin. THRU n v.a Of pleasure about this
For II Is ngEestive Of our Thankssis.
ing cheer.
This sGns:s on %esS: IL. si%s .iTf.''' Wit"
Which those with tn needful can
But. then; there are others who
Due to hard-luck reasons. and must
such feasts forego.
Oh. do love turkey-to eat-indeed
And Won be delighted with some
But. ! have limited. of coin I'm
jus. ean!s saaaef sas sS'.- a sobel.r-th. pr,e.
And Il ;;.. Eys .S' T. IT.: .;;::.. thinking I'll do
Eat corned beef and cabbage, which
he. I'm sure. sufficient for me-poor
On which % mako merry. No matter
Yet ! often wonder. when. breeding
VIII, :s$s ems ' ; ..:s: sss set t.,or.. and 1 ss,
How Il thus does happen ! really do
not know.
Maybe 1 am daffy or perhaps much
too slow.
Still. I'll keep on striving, and quicker
make my stride,
For the times win brighten st turning
Of the tide,
And then, well. I'm betting, and nete
now what l say.
I'll have lots o! turkey On next
Thanksgiving day.
The Washington times., 1922-11-26

Bill Biff Is q patient man.
And to that I'll swear,
For when he has q tire blow out
All he says Is: oh. dear"
OKLAHOMA PETE.
The Washington times., 1922-11-26
THANKSGIVING THOUGHTS

No need to wait for . special day Of
prayer.
Wherein to give aims or display
your gratitude.
On yoar going forth. here and there,
Remember the waiting needy multi
tude-
BE q .helper TO some one every day.
Cheer the friends whom you may
meet.
Ever have chosen words. kindly 70
say,
II will another's life make sweet.
Try always. radiant smiles to wear.
To many that may be . source Of
joy
EndeavOr to ease some carking care.
N0uGht worth more could your time
employ.
II. SMITH.
The Washington times., 1922-11-26

The Society for tho Proven
tion of Cruelty to Animals is on.
record as opposed to steer.
throDing contests by Western
cowboys, but here in the East
people are throwing the bull
every minute.
ARIZONA IKE
The Washington times., 1922-11-26
KEY.

Teacher-Johnny, spell length"
Johnny-L-e-n-t-h
Teacher-Why. Johnny. don't
you know there's q silent "g" In
that word?
Johnny-That's why left Il out.
BRIDGEPORT.
The Washington times., 1922-11-26
THE FAITHFUL WATCHMAN.

He's little and he's old today;
his hair Is growing pretty gray |;
he's not so full Of youth and pep.
nor has he much elastic step;
He stands beside an outer door,
observing clerks and folks on tour;
he hollers Captain" now and then.
and turns to look at folks again.
How many faces he has seen
with those old eyes still strong
and keen; how many men. how
many maids. how many passing
street parades;
How many good. how many bad.
how many sOrrowful and sad; how
many. but. each little while, some
body to give him IA smile.
He's stood there so for many
days, deserving of q lot Of praise;
bad days and good. it's been the
same: lie sticks around and plays
the game.
who knows what he might like
10 be. 10 he were able to be free.
where he might like some day to
20. IL dreams were true and tales
were sos
We cannot get inside his mind.
but we can smile and Just be kind;
slip him q cigar as we pass; tell
him we wish u were q glass;
And when we miss his face, one
day. We can be glad he's gone
away. preceding us to that dim
climo whero all may have q better
time.
GENE BLOSSOM.
The Washington times., 1922-11-26

The fellow pho marries the
modern flapper type girl ,OiH
never haze his life made n,iser-
sble With spring and fall house
cleanings.
The Washington times., 1922-11-26
THE RICHEST MAN.

Dear Bill: The Wall Street
Journal says that Henry Ford
is the richest man in the world.
ROGER BABSON, well known in
Washington, says that Secretary
MELLON, of the Treasury, has
an income equal to the incomes Of
both Ford and John d. Rookie
feller, pho is rated by others as
tho richest.
/ just call this to the attention
Of your readers, some of Whom
may Wdnt to be listed ,oith tho
three named. At present, / hdve
just 10 cents to last me until the
neat pay day. JOHN X.
The Washington times., 1922-11-26
POOR Old DADDY!

When Junior got home from
school at noon. mother regretfully
impaired to him the information
that Paddy (his pet dog) had been
run over by an automobile and
killed. Junior showed little con.
cern, but at bedtime he began
crying for Paddy. -.
Il want Paddy! I want Paddy"
he walled.
. But. darling. told you that
Paddy died this morning"
"Oh! mother! exclaimed Junior,
II thought you said daddy"
THOMAS.
There is no humor In the fact
that prohibition has come to stay.
A man must have a very hard
heart to laugh at people dying Of
thirst. Cease to laugh. say we.
o. HOWE WISE.
The Washington times., 1922-11-26
A RESOURCEFUL CAPTAIN.

What would you do" asked Colonel
Penn,
Addressing Captain 'Wynne,
IF over a stream you marched your
men,
And all Of them fell in?"
"A thing like that" said Captain
Wynne.
would never cause q rout,
For II my men should all fall In,
l would sternly cry, Fall out!'"
VIRGINIA ED.
The Washington times., 1922-11-26

ADVICE IN RHYME.
Save all your pennies,
Then first pay your board,
And later on you can buy
A little Lizzie Ford.
MINNIE S.
The Kevin review. [volume] (Kevin, Mont.) 1922-1929, 1922-11-09
Cat Creek Production is
Nearing 100000 Mark

R. C. Lehman is transacting
business in Great Falls this week.
Helena. Reports by the Mu-
tual Oil company to the state
public service commissions of 216,-
OIL barrels of crude oil trans
mitted through it's pipe line from
the Cat Creek field to Winnett
during September, brings the
total for the nine months Of 1922
to 1885, 51 barrels, and the total
from the field since January 1,
1921, to 2,870, 1888 barrels.
The transmission for Septem-
Der is approximately 5000 bar
rels less than for the preceding
month, which high figure for
The Kevin review. [volume] (Kevin, Mont.) 1922-1929, 1922-11-09

transmission from the Cat Greek
field was touched.
Of the September transmission
161,3 13 barrels was for the Mu-
tuaI Oil company's own account,
of oil produced in the field.
Of the total of 216,O71 barrels
al, $50 barrels went to the re-
fnery of the Standard Oil COM
pany of Indiana at Whiting, Ind.
Other consignees were: Lewis
town Oil and Refining company,
Lewistown, Mont, 11,216 barrels;
Midwest Refining company, Lo-
veil, Wyo., 5,014 barrels; Mutual
Oil company, Cowley, Wyo., 49,
083 barrels; AFRO Oil Refining
company, Lewistown; 1892 bar
rels; Yale Oil corporation, Miles
City, 1858 barrels; Weowna Re-
company, Winnett 6,288
barrels; Pure Oil corporation,
Minneapolis, $50 barrels; C. W.
Hart, Hedgesville, Mont, 191
barrels.
The Kevin review. [volume] (Kevin, Mont.) 1922-1929, 1922-11-09
Read all The Ads
Kelvin Sunburst
TO Be Connected
With Black Magic

The Illinois Pipe line company
is extending its line in the Kelvin
Sunburst field to connect with
the we'll of the Black Magic, on
section 1888 W. This will be
the tarthest west extension of
the line. Oil will be pumped
through the line within the next
week, according to officials of
the Black Magic.
The Kevin review. [volume] (Kevin, Mont.) 1922-1929, 1922-11-09

Mike Williams of the Sunburst
company is confined to his bed in
Minneapolis with pneumonia.
The Kevin review. [volume] (Kevin, Mont.) 1922-1929, 1922-11-09

Senator Hogan was a Minnea-
polls visitor last week.
The Kevin review. [volume] (Kevin, Mont.) 1922-1929, 1922-11-09

INSTRUMENTATION doesn't Really
look like This; he just Acts like It
What he Doesn't Do isn't Worth
Thinking of, and what he Does Do
Sometimes makes him ar Awful Pest.
A Kid like this must have Inspired
that Famous Saying, Boys should be
Buried between the Ages Of -Four and
Fourteen"
The Kevin review. [volume] (Kevin, Mont.) 1922-1929, 1922-11-09

The United Petroleum people
of Lewistown have decided to
put on active drilling campaign
and will drill out the southwest
forty in 2O-35-2-w.
The Kevin review. [volume] (Kevin, Mont.) 1922-1929, 1922-11-09

Nose Zimmerman has just re-
turned to st Paul after the pur-
chase of a few more choice tracts
in the Kelvin field. Nose is not
selling, he is buying and says he
has nothing for sale until next
spring.
Capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1919-1980, 1922-04-26

Meat: hogs $11@ 11.50; dressed
hogs 14c; top steers &c; cows VI O;
bulls 3Mc; lambs INC: dressed
(bulk) 81.
Poultry: Light hens tic; medi-
UNI hens 18c; heavy hens 22c; old
roosters 10c; stays 12Q 15c.
Butterfat: Butterfat sec; cream
cry butter 39@40c; country butter
30@32c; egs 17c; milk $2.10 cwt.
Vegetables: Oregon onions $40
cwt: beets $3.50 cwt; California
cabbage 4c lb; green peppers 4Oc
lb; potatoes $1.00 cwt; California
lettuce $3.50 per crate; Arkansas
sweet potatoes $3.50 bushel: celery
$3.50 doz; radishes 60c doz; parsley
90c doz: tomatoes $3.50 crate,
broccoli $500 crate; red cabbage
AK lb; artichoke $1.75 dozen;
asparagus 22c.
Fruits: Oranges $3.50; lemons
$7.25; bananas 10c; Calf. grape
fruit S4.00: Florida grape fruit
O8@8.5O; strawberries SIS per crate
Retail Prices
Butter and eggs: Eggs 20@22c;
creamery butter Abe. country
butter 35@36c.
Portland Markets
Portland, Or, April 25.-Cattle
lower; receipts none; top steet
medium to good $500
@7.75; fair to medium 1926 "
TOO; common to fair 1926 @6.2b;
choice feeders 5000 500; fair to
good S4.5O@ 500: choice cows and
heifers $s.00@6.50: medium to
good $5.50@6.25; fair to medium
S4.75 @B.50; common cows 1915
OATS; Gamers $2.25 03.75; bulls
$4.5O@ @7.O0; choice dairy calves
$9.50@1O.00: prime light $500 q
$50; medium to light $3.50 %
600: heavy $4.6o@6.50.
Hogs lower; receipts 1882;
prime light $11.35@11.75; smooth
heavy 220 to 800 pounds $1,000 @
1925; 800 pounds and UP $500 q
1000; rough heavy $500 @9.5O
fat pigs $11@11.50; stays sos.
Sheep steady; receipts none
east of mountain lambs 1890 q
14.O0; best valley $12@13.00; GULL
S6.OO@8 500; feeders $500 q 1000
light yearlings S10@11.00; heavy
$4,000 1000; light wethers $s.5'
@1O.00; heavy $9@s.50; ewes s
@7.50.