McNairy County independent. (Selmer, McNairy County, Tenn.) 1902-1969, 1922-01-27
Won Highest Honors in Rades
BY Allao Presley wilson,

Through an underground (al-
though not an underhand) chan
mel | have learned of a contest
that took place recently in He'll.
The object of The contest, as
stated by the Devil himself, was
to enable him to ascertain who
among his evil cohorts was best
Z fitted to occupy the next highest
office in the realm of He'll.
Il The contestants were given a
term of years in which to per-
form the most diabolical deed
each could devise, obtain authen-
ticated proof of its actual per-
formance and to present all ev-
idence at a public meeting held
for that purpose. Under his seal
the Devil obligated himself to
reward the one winning the con-
test by making that one his
Deputy, give him power to reign
with absolute authority during
the Devils indisposition or alb
sence on vacation and to present
him with a scepter second only in
fearfulness to that of the Devil
himself.
AT the appointed time the CO.
horts of Hell assembled in solemn
conclave and each one in the au-
dience was in breathless expect
alton to learn what the Devil
(who had announced previously
that he was to be sole Judge in
the contest) would consider the
most diabolical deed.
Armed with documentary ey-
idence, in some instances filling
to overfoWing a lawyers brief
case, each contestant assembled
on the platform and a smile of
self-satisfaction overspread the
countenance Of the one who, at
the call Of the Archdemon, walk
ed to a position in front of the
Throne and recited his evil valor
and misdeeds.
Without going into the details
Of what was a most sordid recital
of mdrder, rapine, crooked deal
ing, shame, degradation. dis
honor and crime, it will suffice to
tell of the last to present HIM
self for the coveted honor.
When the name of "Old Trust
ed Subscriber" was called by the
Archdemon a somewhat unfam-
iliar figure stepped to the front
Of the stage and, saluting his
Majesty, began hisrecital. There
was little about his appearance
to justify an onlooker in suppos-
ing that he belonged in that mot
ley gang of evildoers, nor did he
carry much evidence Of his wrong
doing. In fact, with the excep-
tion of a few letters and cards
which he held conspicuously, one
could not discern that he was a
candidate for the honor offered
by the Devil.
Given permission to speak, Old
Trusted Subscriber related that
hethad subscribed for the local
newspaper a number OF years ago.
AT first" said he, Il paid in
advance each year. Then found
out the Editor was a pleasantsort
of a person, trustful and hard
working, and not disposed to
press those who were indebted to
him; 50 / began to let my sub
scription laspe. Every now and
again there appeared a notice in
the paper to pay up, with a mild
threat that back accounts would
be placeAin the hands of a law
yer-f for collection. AS a sort of
sop / went to the Office and paid
for a year on my Indebtedness,
but never paid up in full. not to
mention paying in advance. Then
/ made inquiry and found that
, dcse who did not scare at the
tk,eat to take legal action were
not molested or troubled, SO / de-
cided ! need not settle either.
I'm the meantime, ! got all the