Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1922-07-12

4 u
eosrs,essr 1921. ~ EDGAR AILss Moss
Missed a Lot
Mother(reprovingly )--"When was
young, girls never thought Of doing
the things they do today"
Daughter-"Well. that's why they
didn't do Them
Somebody is Mistaken
Comparatively few the young peo-
pie are playing the mandolin nova
days Yet we are being assured the
world grows worse.
Question Mark
Last week he sent me candy, say
ing sweets to the sweet"
"A pretty sentiment. What of it 2"
But now he sends me an ivory hair
brush
And now we hear that Columbus
was a humbug, according to report
now. How foolish to go so far back
in the search of humbugs when there
are so many here right now.
X X 4
A man was on his way home with
| his new car when he thought he had
| forgotten something Twice on his
way he stopped and looked over pack
ages in the coupe and searched his
lpocketbook, but finally decided he had
everything with him. When he reach
ed home his daughter ran out. looking
surprised and cried: 'Why, father,
where's mother?"
y X 4
/ 1t is said that radium gives off par
ticles of itself and yet never grows
less. We know men who are like that
colloquially.
Might Leave Something
Dedbroke (roused by his wife)--
What's that you say, burglar?
Mrs. Dedbroke-Yes, fancy burg
lar calling on US!
Dedbroke-Let him climb in; then
I'll give a yell and it may make him
drop something he has stolen else
where.
His Finish
GothamiteZI understand the town
you come from figures in a recent no
lyel Was the author born there?
Visitor-Yes; and if he ever shows
up again he'll die there.
An Iowa woman got angry and
went to bed and stayed there for thir-
ty-eight years. However, think how
much worse it would have been if she
had been angry for thirty-eight years
and stayed up.
4 X X
A certain government clerk got a
raise in his salary some months ago
He rushed to the telegraph Office when
his days work was over and dispatch
ed message to the girl of his choice
In his home town, appraising her of
his new good fortune and asking her
to become his life partner, a step he
had long contemplated, but which his
former limited salary had deferred
him from taking. He prepaid the re-
ply at the minimum fee and her an
swer, therefore, had to be limited to
ten words. The young fellows sus-
pense of waiting was intense, but very
brief; the girls message came in a
few minutes. Eyes, gladly, willingly,
joyfully, delightedly, gratefully, low
ingly. Yes, yes, yes"
Every week we read of trains knock
ling the tar out of autos that stop on
the tracks, but never have read of an
auto knocking train off the tracks.
This ought TO be conclusive evidence
that it can't be done. Better wait and
let the tEains go by.
| Or Words to That Effect
| Ethel" said the bishop, "you seem
to be bright little girl; can you re-
peat a verse from the Bible?"
"Ill say can"
well, my dear let us have it."
The. Lord is my Shepherd should
worry"
A Southerner while out walking saw
an old negro driving a mule attached
to dilapidated wagon. In the wag-
on were four cur dogs. "Hello, Uncle
l"Hauling dogs today" The old man
stopped the mule. 'Yepl Jump in, he
said.
Hard Telling
The new servant was as truthful as
lcould be. The first eallerasked TO see
her mistress. "She's not at home. .
was the answer. "When will she be
back 2" asked the caller. Il don't
know, mum, she's not gone out yet"
| The InfaIlible
Patient "What shall / do for in
somnia, doctor ?"
Physician Every evening keep re-
peating to yourself: Il am a night
Waterman, am night Waterman,
am night Waterman"
It is the frost that comes in a
French box that has caused most of
our peach blight.
| x 4
About the only thing that can be
said of plush cushions in closed car
is that the garage mechanic likes to
use them for a towel.
4 x
Admired That
He-You must have seensom thrait
IN me to admire or you wouldn't have
married me.
She-I did-your sublime nerve in
wanting to be my husband.
Here's Wild Colym ConcudtOr
1t was cold and wintry night
A man stood on the street
His aged eyes were full Of tears
His shoes were full of feet.
The boy stood on the burning deck
His feet were all in blisters
hfTT=y7aH tho IT,. L.