The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-07-05
Bear Batters HGJe q Fine Time in the
 Second Game
By HENRY VANCE

It was the Fourth of July and in honor of the occasion the Mobile Bears attempted to make IT'S base hits.
 To attempt to make those hits was useless on their part. All that was necessary was to hold out bat and Messrs. Eberhard and Statham would hit 1t. These boys had perfect con- trol.
 In the afternoon game, Mobile found the alleged pitching for 20 safe blows, an even dozen runs and several million groans from the grand stand.
 The Birmingham infield took day off on account of the holiday and only the outfielders worked. Stump ter Clarke. wearing speedometer on his ankle, found out after the game that he had covered 1,s7e miles. Doc Silva circied after fly balls un- til he became woozy in the conk. Harry Harper devised the scheme of climbing a ladder in right field and waiting for the ball to hit the fence before he tried to get it.
 Harry Matthews chewed a half ton of plug cut, swallowed so pounds of plug cut swallowed 300 pounds a man swallows) and said something that couidnft possibly have been mistaken for the golden text of next Sabbath's Sunday school lesson
 Got What They Expected
 The some 5000 fans present took it good-naturedly. They hadn't real ly expected to see ball game. Moth ing the Barons have uncovered this season would have led said sad fans to believe that they would see ball game. They expected traversty and they got 1t. The cushions were soft, and they were getting holiday and they were satisfied.
 One man explained that the big crowd hadn't really come out to the hall game any way. They bought their seats enjoy the airplane stunts that were being uncorked over tho Dixie flying field. A woman daredevil was booked to pull para chute drop but she never did 1t. She figured the risk too great, IS Rh!no Williams might hit her with tho numerous balls he was driving over the fence.
 Rhino Hits Two Homern
 This same Rhino hit two over tho fence and would have hit more, but Harry Harper wrote him note and told him that he would have to go get the next one he parked himself. Eimwood. 1t bounced among tho tombstones and disturbed the Ba- ronial pepper, which has long since been buried.
 The Barons should be known as the Wonder team of 1922. Meaning, of course. that everybody is won derlng how they ever won ball game.
 Mike Eberhard started the game. Mike started something he eouldn t finish. In the third inning after Matty had become duly convinced that Mike was badly mangled and off for Incoherenceville. he got put his forceps and pulled Mike. Mir Eberhard was willing retirer. He walked to the bench like 1t was a great relief to escape without losinS leg and an arm or so,
 Bill statham Sent In Bill Statham. who had been um- uiring. was called off the job as arr bitter. Phil Morrison, who had played with Fourth of July fireworks in the forenoon and had been badly maimed | was sent in to act as umps. and Stat ham rushed behind the bleachers tc warm mp. He went into the boS cOlu, put the bedis iu"uS ie 4'oe AS' him.
 Roy Ellam, who Is said to be on his | last legs seems to find the last legi | better than the first. The ex-Baror got @ single. a double. and triple | cut of five times up. Mulvey go' 1 three singles and double out Of si' | times. Rhino Williams lifted two over the walls during the game Man ager Niehoff got four safe blows ou' of five times up. one being double | Agony for Everyone | Rick woodward wilted four collars and wore out three dozen chews o plug cut. He also brought into pia, gross or 80 of stock model phrases that were complimentary by nc means. Colonel Quack Smith los sight in one eye trying to locate an, one ball served by his pitchers tha had anything on 1t but base hit in raised letters.
 Several big league scouts were 1T | the stands. They were here to Iool the Baron pitchers over and recon mend them to the clubs opposing then in their respective leagues. Mix | Eberhard's boomerang ball looked | especially good to them. They weii also told that Bill statham had ; wonderful drop. He has dropped many ball games
 Hnrper's Usual Debate
 Harry Harper. the elocutionist ha his usual debate with the bleachers It was thought thatN Harry wouli throw in a few oratorical lines for change. in that 1t was Independence Day, but man who sits In tn bleachers told us that 1t was Harry usual fluent flow of language. Harr and the sun-gods have a reparte party each afternoon.
 To give In detail a tabulated ac count of the terrible massacre woul make Sitting Bull blush. Sitting Bul wouldn't have stood for it. Suffice to say that the Bruins made one tall, in the second, four in the third. whil knocking Mike Eberhard from tn mound; two in the fifth. three in tn sixth and two more in the ninth.
 Umpires Also off
 Umpire Guthrie was sick ant couldn't attend to his duties. Thii neeessitated the placing of Leather and Statham upon the bases. Eaci did as rotten as Guthrie could hav' under any circumstances. Dan Pfen ninger was the picture of health be fore the game, but what he say made him sick. too. Dan, you know was used to operating in this leagu' when they had real ball clubs. Oddl.
 enough they never furnished hin with a horse in those days. Jess Jamas had horse, you know.
 It was Dutch Henry's sixth wi since he has joined the Bears. Tn Barons knocked him out of the bo.