The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1922-08-31

continent, Is NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
! G. Ingersoll.
/ Every town has several citizens who
mutilate coins by squeezing them.
/ Some young fellows claim to be
live wires when all they can do is to
spark little.
1t will be a long, long time until
the Literary Digest's straw ballot will
show which way the foam blows.
This is a sad world. When the
nights are fine for sleeping, the
mornings are sure tough for getting
up.
Eve kin remember" says Abe Mar
tin, "when women got ther hair bob
bed on account o. typhoid fever they
kept out O. sight like clipped collie"
When you are arranging your af-
fairs to settle down and be comfort
able the rest of your days, don't fail
to hold on to lot of your old shoes
and your old friends.
q q q
Bar, bar, black sheep, have you any
booze?"
Eyes, sir; yes, sir, all you can use.
know guy in Canada, or some such
place,
Who'll sell you all you want Of it
at sixty bucks case"
4 9 &
"What happened to Babylon?" ask
ed the Sunday school teacher. ut
FELL" cried the pupil. "And what be-
came of Nineveh?n at was de-
stroyed.' "Ahd what of Tyre?"
"Punctured."
Style is the only thing in this old
world which could put long skirt on
a woman after she had been wearing
a short one. Yes, style can lengthen I
their skirts, but by heck, it will take
Old Man Time to lengthen their hair.
Women's dresses care to be longer,
and after making all the men round
shouldered they are going to force
Them to wear braces. Besides, lot
Of interesting scenery will be de-
,troyed.
We have been yearning for some
light" summer reading. Yesterday
We received through the mail bro
.hure on a sure method to grow rich
1y investing in certain oil property
md a marked copy of June number
If the Congressional Record. 1t was
lust like an answer to prayer.
z z q
"Bill," we remarked to Old Bill Mis-
yivens the other day, as he sat down
IN the exchanges piled in an adjacent
hair, 1--WE note that lie detector has
,een invented" "Huh!" grunted Old
Sill; ut don't interest me. I've had
me since the day got married"
e z q
The radio language is on the way,
\ little Emmett girl, who has broth
r who is o radio fan, also has new
ably brother The other day friend
sked about the welfare of the baby.
Oh, he's all right replied the little
Mss, "but he broadcasted all night"
4 4 4
No one has yet been able to tell
Thy a chicken makes two scratches
nth one foot and one scratch with
he other and then reverses feet on
he second scratch. This puzzle should
ass into history along with the que
y, always unanswered, of why a
hicken crosses the road.
4 4 z
One of our vacationist friends re-
armed the other day and told US
ome of his experiences in crowded
otel. When he asked the clerk for
is bill that individual asked, Where
id you sleep?" con the billiard Ia
e. he informed the clerk. FIFTY
,nts an hour" he told our friend.
q Q e
They're telling this one on cou-
e of burglars who hit Boise not
ng ago: Said one to the other, as
came from the open window at
idnight, "Did you get anything ?"
law," his pard growled, "this is
wyer's house, That's tough,' the
st burglar sympathized; did you
Sc anything?"
4 AA
The smartest thing we ever heard
id was by good, motherly old soul
nom everybody loves. She lost her
Isband few years ago, and when
ked why she never married again
piled: 81 have never happened to
n across the man | would trade my
nsion for"
"in few more years." runs a COM