davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Durant weekly news. (Durant, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 190?-1944, 1922-01-13
SMALL FARMERS

A story is told of Belgian farmer
who came to this country and was
asked if he could make living on ten
acres of land 81 don't know" he re-
piled. ~ used to make a good living
on five acres in the old country, but
] don't know if can successfully cul"
tivate ten acres" He was unaccus-
toned to our wasteful and inefficient
methods of farming.
There is a lesson in this for young
men who want to own farms, but
think they can never buy large tracts
Of land A few acres. we'll titled, will
pay far better than big farm poor
ly titled.
Durant weekly news. (Durant, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 190?-1944, 1922-01-13
PROFANITY BY PROXY

Have you seen the latest attach
ment for automobiles ?"
T've seen thousands, what about
this one?"
"You press button on the steering
wheel and a concealed phonograph
furnishes a choice variety of cures
loud and deep"
Good idea. save breath when one
meets up with road hogs"
Durant weekly news. (Durant, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 190?-1944, 1922-01-13

They say the blond
type is rapidly dis
appearing, but the on
ly thing disappearing
we saw about a
healthy looking blond
yesterday was the food
on her plate.
Durant weekly news. (Durant, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 190?-1944, 1922-01-13

The Office Cat offers this imported
joke, direct from dear old London.
as the Office Cats personal selec.
tion of the very best piece i6f joke
smithery of the week.
Lunatic: 1--WE got wonderful in
vention l want to patent"
His keeper kindly: "What Is;
that?"
"Ive invented. an explosive coin
that will blow up the telephone-box
after the fifth wrong number.
Durant weekly news. (Durant, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 190?-1944, 1922-01-13
RURAL ROMANCE


We stood at the gate as the sun went
down
Behind the hill at the close of day;
Her look was pensive; her eyes were
brown,
Her breath was sweet as the new
mown hay.
For out of the West the last sunshine
Fell lightly on her golden hair;
Her tender eyes looked straight in
mine,
And a look of perfect trust was
there.
see her enclosed in the sunlight,
flood,
see her; peacefully standing now;
Peacefully standing and chewing her
..cud,
As l rubbed her ears--that Jersey
COW.
A scot may think he can live for
ever on canned goods-but canny?
When he is first married a man is
so in love he does not know wheth-
er he is eating ambrosia or sawdust,
but after the honeymoon the bride
quickly learns how finicky the male
brute is about his food.
o
A REAL ONE
PA, what is on optimist," asked
Johnnie.
at is a person who thinks the
Irish question will be settled in a way
that will be satisfactory to both Eng
land and Ireland, my son." replied
his dad.
Durant weekly news. (Durant, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 190?-1944, 1922-01-13
THE GOOD OLD DAYS

An old Scotchman was threatened
with blindness if he did not give uP
drinking. "Now, McTavish," said
the doctor, "It's like this: you're
either to stop the whisky or lose
your eyesight-and you must choose"
SAY, weel, doctor,"- said McTarvish,
"I'm an auld mon, moo, an was
thinkin' l haze seen aboot everything
worth seein'."
Durant weekly news. (Durant, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 190?-1944, 1922-01-13
HE BELIEVES,

Sir Oliver Lodge, one Of the great
est Of British scientists, and until re-
Gently an agnostic, is now trying to
communicate with the spirits of his
dead friends and loved ones. So far
he has not succeeded
Some people may regard his efforts
AS a sort of heresy, thing that would
much better be left alone. They may
claim that real Christian would not
engage that real Christian would
not engage in such efforts.
But it is not significant thing
that this noted scientist is dcvoting
all his knowledge and talent to trying
to prove in material way the things
which Others have accepted on faith I?
Does it not prove that he now be-
lieves in the immortality of the soul
doctrine which until recently he de-
MED?
If he did not believe he would not
be trying to prove his faith?
Durant weekly news. (Durant, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 190?-1944, 1922-01-13

II is better to put ones toll and
kill on a few acres than TO scatter
it over many acres. Many farmers
in America would be better off If
they owned just half or even less
Of the land they are now trying to
cultivate.
Durant weekly news. (Durant, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 190?-1944, 1922-01-13
GAWD BLESS 'UM

GAWD BLESS UNI
How dear to my heart
Is the friend of the column
When lunches are scarce.
And the outlook is blue.
And grinding out copy
j. a task sad and solemn
The contrib who kicks in
With n live hunch or two.
Durant weekly news. (Durant, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 190?-1944, 1922-01-13

The civil service law is all right,
but some mighty uncivil things are
being said about the way it is ad-
ministered.
Durant weekly news. (Durant, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 190?-1944, 1922-01-13
A LOST VIRTUE

Men in various trades used to pride
themselves on the excellence of their
work. There was great deal Of
rivalry along this line, and it was
wholesome and stimulating. The bet
ter the workman, the higher he stood
in the esteem not only of his en-
ployers but of his fellow workers.
Now the tendency is to strive for
shorter hours, increased wages, and
improve working conditions These
things are to be desired, of course
hut in striving for them have we moi
lost sight of the other thing?
And in losing this other thing, have
we not lost the thing that gave mer
their independence and self respect
Is it not a pity that we did not keel
the best thing of all while striving
for other things somewhat less de
sirable, which have certainly brough
no great amount of satisfaction.
Durant weekly news. (Durant, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 190?-1944, 1922-01-13

Charles b. Ferren of Colorado
Springs, died the other day and left
$4,000 worth of bonded hooch to the
Y. M. c. A, and the Y. w. C. A. and
the Salvation Army, and none of them
will accept it. The court is puzzled
what to do with it, We are anxious
to help out the court. Send it to
the Office Cat, Care of The Durant
Weekly News, Durant, Okla.
Durant weekly news. (Durant, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 190?-1944, 1922-01-13

The recent rise in the selling price
of Liberties proves that you can't
keep good bond down.
Durant weekly news. (Durant, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 190?-1944, 1922-01-13

just think. Only four years ago
we were all wondering when the war
would end.
Durant weekly news. (Durant, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 190?-1944, 1922-01-13

And speaking of camouflage,
crramed turkey isn't a thing in the
world but turkey hash.
Durant weekly news. (Durant, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 190?-1944, 1922-01-13

The world is becoming more and
more highly civilized, but gossip is
Just as mean as ever.
Durant weekly news. (Durant, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 190?-1944, 1922-01-13

After all, Brother Ziefeld is the
frs man to succeed in making money
on his follies.
Durant weekly news. (Durant, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 190?-1944, 1922-01-13

You may not believe it, but in some
parts Of the country people are still
riding in buggies.
Durant weekly news. (Durant, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 190?-1944, 1922-01-13
FINE FEED

81 understand the Laplanders eat
candles
Must be big to do over birthday
cake.
Durant weekly news. (Durant, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 190?-1944, 1922-01-13

1t will soon be time to hear from
the chap who always predicts fear
fully hot summer.
Durant weekly news. (Durant, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 190?-1944, 1922-01-13

Putting the marines to guarding
the mails naturally makes one wonder
why is n soldier.
Durant weekly news. (Durant, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 190?-1944, 1922-01-13
GAME ALWAYS

Preacher Observation-Disclosures, do
you take dis woman here for better
or for worse?"
Rastus From force of Habit-
"Parson, All shoots it ALL"
Durant weekly news. (Durant, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 190?-1944, 1922-01-13

A woman may be as old as she
looks, but she is seldom as young as
she paints.
Durant weekly news. (Durant, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 190?-1944, 1922-01-13

And, too reduction of the navies of
the world ought to make gold lace a
good deal cheaper. ,....
Durant weekly news. (Durant, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 190?-1944, 1922-01-13

1t isn't worth while to turn over
a new leaf unless you keep it clean.
Durant weekly news. (Durant, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 190?-1944, 1922-01-13

Nations are like individuals. Prone
to give up luxuries when they can
no longer afford them. -.
Durant weekly news. (Durant, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 190?-1944, 1922-01-13

Look for more trouble in Mexico.
A new oil belt has been discovered
down there
Durant weekly news. (Durant, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 190?-1944, 1922-01-13

When nations begin telling each
other the absolute truth, diplomacy
will become obsolete.
Durant weekly news. (Durant, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 190?-1944, 1922-01-13
THE QUADRUPLE ALLIANC

lhE QOADhUPLE ALLIANCE
Four great nations--France, Great
Britain, Japan and the United States
are entering into treaty concern
ing the islands of the Pacific. The
treaty, in brief, is an agreement that
If differences arise between any or
all Of the four nations, they will
arbitrate those differences, rather
than 60 to war over them.
This is all right, as far as it goes ?
But why limit the arbitration
agreement to the islands of the Pa
cific? Why not include all other mat
ters in which these four nations may
have a common or conflicting inter
ests?
And why limit the alliance to these
four nations? Why exclude Italy,
Spain, Holland, the Scandinavian and
all other countries?
This quadruple alliance looks to be
all right, ut first glance, but the far
ther you look the more unsatisfactory
1t becomes. It falls SO far short Of
what it ought to be.
And it wiuld be so easy to enlarge
it and perfect it.
Durant weekly news. (Durant, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 190?-1944, 1922-01-13
SOME HELP

The girls don't seem to be- wear
ing any more as winter gets colder"
"Oh, they put on an extra coat of
powder or two"
Durant weekly news. (Durant, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 190?-1944, 1922-01-13
FOLLOWING ORDERS

The teacher wanted some plums
in order to give an object lesson to
the class, and calling one Of the small
boys, she gave him ten cents and
sent him to the fruit stand down at
the corner
Before you buy the plums, Will
lie," she said You had better pinch
one or two to make sure they are,
ripe"
Little Willie fitted away. Soon he
came back and smilingly put his hat
filled with plums on the teachers
desk.
"Oh, thank you, Willie" said the
teacher. Ibid you pinch one or tive
as l told you to-"
did IL pinched the whole bunch
and here's your ten cents"
Durant weekly news. (Durant, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 190?-1944, 1922-01-13

1t is more than eleven months un-
til another Christmas, glory be!
Durant weekly news. (Durant, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 190?-1944, 1922-01-13

Another objection to the self-made
man is that his SO internally proud
of the job.
Durant weekly news. (Durant, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 190?-1944, 1922-01-13

Congress is in session again, but
we don't know that anything can be
done about it.
Durant weekly news. (Durant, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 190?-1944, 1922-01-13

A Wichita thief stole a Bible, He
ought to be sent to Jail and made
to read it.
Durant weekly news. (Durant, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 190?-1944, 1922-01-13

And it sometimes happens that the
pictures in the theatre lobby are bet
ter than those shown inside.
Durant weekly news. (Durant, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 190?-1944, 1922-01-13

One way of amusing people is to
take yourself too seriously.
Durant weekly news. (Durant, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 190?-1944, 1922-01-13
ALL ABOUT HENRY

Henry's great interest in the Nus
Gle Shoals property may be due w.
the affinity between a shoal and O.
Ford.-Nashville Southern Lumber-
man.
And cranking Fords suggests mus
ole.
Durant weekly news. (Durant, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 190?-1944, 1922-01-13

Two corn crops never fail says
Bill Spivens, whiskey and those Of
your feet.
Durant weekly news. (Durant, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 190?-1944, 1922-01-13

Judge Landis evidently thought
that Babe" Ruth was old enough to
know better.
Durant weekly news. (Durant, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 190?-1944, 1922-01-13

Be patient with women who smoke
They might do worse. they might
chew tobacco.
Durant weekly news. (Durant, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 190?-1944, 1922-01-13

What's in a name? The head of
brewery in England is named Drink
water.
Durant weekly news. (Durant, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 190?-1944, 1922-01-13

Yes, it takes a lot of resolution to
keep new year resolution.
Durant weekly news. (Durant, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 190?-1944, 1922-01-13
SOUND ADVICE

Bear this in mind WIENER you can,
And you will never fall;
You'll find nobody likes the man
Who thinks he knows it all.
Durant weekly news. (Durant, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 190?-1944, 1922-01-13

You can't tell about women. The
ex-kaiser is about to get married
again,
Durant weekly news. (Durant, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 190?-1944, 1922-01-13

And now let's all get busy and
pay for our Christmas bills.
Durant weekly news. (Durant, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 190?-1944, 1922-01-13

The man who doesn't see plenty of
good reasons for short skirts is
blind.
Durant weekly news. (Durant, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 190?-1944, 1922-01-13

1t is a dull week when we don't
safely pass another crisis
Durant weekly news. (Durant, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 190?-1944, 1922-01-13

The least objectionable taxes are
those that the other fellow has to
pay.
Durant weekly news. (Durant, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 190?-1944, 1922-01-13

They can always find an excuse
when they want to raise the price OF
coal
Durant weekly news. (Durant, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 190?-1944, 1922-01-13
MOTORING TERMS

Cut-Out-A device for making q,
Ford Engine sound like . Rolls
Royce. '-.s' a..
Muffler-A device for doadeniAG
the noise Of the exhaust. Seldom
used on modern machines. 81
One-Man Top-So- called because.
it takes one man eight hours 10 pvt;
it UP. ;''' e. ..
Carburetor-.-An instrument for
mixing air and gasoline 30 that Only
air can get into the cylinders. %.
Durant weekly news. (Durant, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 190?-1944, 1922-01-13

And why does fat man think he
looks leaner if he goes without a
vest?
Durant weekly news. (Durant, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 190?-1944, 1922-01-13

We have made peace with Germany
but not with the Bergdoll family.
Durant weekly news. (Durant, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 190?-1944, 1922-01-13

Brittania used to boast that she
ruled the waves, but now she seems
TO be willing to waive the rules.
Durant weekly news. (Durant, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 190?-1944, 1922-01-13

Bad news. An unsuccessful at
tempt was made to assassinate Len
inc the other day.
Durant weekly news. (Durant, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 190?-1944, 1922-01-13
WE HATE GOLDENROD


"The bride wore a single sprig of
goldenrod." -Des Moines, Iowa, Reg
lister. e..
We're glad we were not there. We
have hay fever. e..
THE COST OF MIDDLEMEN
Up in New Jersey truckers can get
only 8 cents for a crate Of lettuce
containing "a heads. AS that will not
pay freight to market they are plow-
ing under their lettuce crop. How
much do you pay per head for lettuce
and why?
POLICE
an hitch the cow up to the plow,
and use her till my work is through" I"
But Son said: Father, don't do
that! The COW has udder work to do"
YE ED is CAREFUL
Chapman was shot thru the stom-
ach and probably wounded-Denver,
(Col.) Post
Durant weekly news. (Durant, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 190?-1944, 1922-01-13

Bill Spivens says some peopls.
seem to be satisfied if they cam
keep others from having q good
time, .~,
Durant weekly news. (Durant, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 190?-1944, 1922-01-13

A news item says Americans are
eating per cent less meat than
twenty years ago" Yes, but look at
what we are paying for it. ;
Durant weekly news. (Durant, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 190?-1944, 1922-01-13

Probably there wouldn't be so
many hard-up grocers II there
weren't so many prosperous filling
stations. -
Durant weekly news. (Durant, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 190?-1944, 1922-01-13

When the disarmament conference
gets out of the way, let's have a con-
ference on the reduction of taxes.
Durant weekly news. (Durant, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 190?-1944, 1922-01-13

Another trouble with the world is
that so many parents are too lazy
to bring up their children properly.
Durant weekly news. (Durant, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 190?-1944, 1922-01-13

The civil service law is all right,
but some mighty uncivil things are
being said about the way it is ad-
ministered.
A woman may be as old as she
looks, but she is seldom as young as
she paints.
-- 80. ----
just think Only four years ago
we were all wondering when the war
would end
And speaking of camouflage,
crramcd turkey isn't thing in the
world but turkey hash.
s'.-, -.
1t isn't worth while to turn over
a new leaf unless you keep it clean.
You may not believe ii, but in some
parts Of the country people are still
riding in buggies.
---.,:-p-
The recent rise in the selling price
of Liberties proves that you can't
keep good bond down.
-. e
1t will soon be time to hear from
the chap who always predicts fear
fully hot summer.
-'@.@-
The world is becoming more and
more highly civilized, but gossip is
just as mean as ever.
Putting the marines to guarding
the mails naturally makes one wonder
why is n soldier.
-@,2@--
And, too reduction of the navies of
the world ought to make gold lace a
good deal cheaper. '...
-S.9
Nations are like individuals. Prone
to give up Injuries when they can
no longer afford them. ,:
When nations begin telling each
other the absolute truth, diplomacy
will become obsolete.
-%$$-
And it sometimes happens that the
pictures in the theatre lobby are bet
ter than those shown inside.
%%@
Brittania used to boast that she
ruled the waves, but now she seems
to be willing to waive the rules.
TO
Bad news. An unsuccessful at
tempt was made to assassinate Len
inc the other day.
9sS3-
Probably there wouldn't be so
many hard-up grocers If there
weren't so many prosperous filling
stations. 90
Another trouble with the world is
that so many parents are too lazy
to bring up their children properly.
--SsSsS<n- -
When the disarmament conference
gets out of the way, let's have a con-
ference on the reduction of taxes. :,
TO
A news item says Americans are
eating per cent less meat than
twenty years ago" Yes, but look at
what we are paying for it. F.;
Durant weekly news. (Durant, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 190?-1944, 1922-01-13

MISREPRESENTATION. .
Durant weekly news. (Durant, Choctaw Nation, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 190?-1944, 1922-01-13

:. u :. y a. :. u = 8. 8. y = y = u
Evening star., 1922-04-16

36-inch Mercerized Wash
Satin, a high grade cotton weave.
with rich satin face; ideal for un-
deraarments; in pink. blue, flesh,
mais, lavender, peach
and black with self ~
color shadow stripe cOSC
Worth 75c yard. %. -..,s
Evening star., 1922-04-16

Children's Special Hose Sun.
peFters, pin-on style, In white
or black; extra quality Isle
elastic; with rubber bot r-
toms. Regularly $50 nc
and 2sc pair.
Importers Odd Lots Of Scis-
pOrs, superior grade imported
steel; assorted sizes-from tiny
embroidery scissors to large 6M-
inch cutting scissors. -
Values worth to 75c etc0C
pair 80 s..s
Women's Rubberized House,
held Aprons, large size; we'll /,
made, full shapes, with
curved shoulder straps 40
OF material; pretty do 4SC
signs ......... ........
Real Hair Nets, cap or fringe
styles, perfect quality; full
sizes; correct shapes. A.
Regularly Loo each. ZOC
SIX 10r es.-s>~~......a
Evening star., 1922-04-16

Favorite Sewing and Bastinz
Cotton, l00-yard spools;
black and white; as fS1
sorted numberG SIX &c
sp0ets Tor s.sss - $500.
clark,s q, N. T. Cotton, large
250-yard spoo1s; white, in NUM-
bers 50, 50, 70 and 80; -
black. in numbers 40 and &c
50. Regularly 100 eanh..
Baby Pants good quality
rubber. In white and natural
colors: small, medium 10
and large sizes; regu- VC
lar $50 and $50 values.
Rubber SheetinE, double faced,
in white and maroon;
extra quality; three ~
auarter-yard squares. ,3yC
Shoe or Slipper Trees. k~
wood tips; strongly made. W
Regularly 100 pair.
6elAaalexg'e-HiIst EleeA
The Cordova daily times., 1922-07-10
NEGRO FARMERS REPORT
 LARGE YIELD IN CORN

WASHINGTON, July 10.-Average yields of thirty-five bushels of corn per acre were obtained by more than 1000 negro farmers in North Caro- lina, Texas and Virginia, WI. raised 90 GOO acres of corn last yea, ;ne Ge- rartment of agriculture has an- nounced. They average from seven teen to twenty-five bush, Is all q re.
 The excellent record made by the negro farmers is attributed in part to tue advice they received from county agents employed co-operatcIy by he department of agriculture and the statA agricultural colleg $.
 Sev@rIy per cent of the negro farm CTS in Virginia are said to be f,llow- ing methods of growing corn taught by extension workers.
The Cordova daily times., 1922-07-10

dent"
 Pat McKenna tried every method known to verbal artists and stu dents of persuasion. It failed of it's purpose.
 The tourist was told that if he would come back at 1 o'clock in the afternoon he might join the throng of several hundred handshakers, good citizens all, and accomplish his anxious errand. The president would be glad to see him, Pat insisted The president would be especially glad to see this household in partiCu- lar, because he is especially fond of children-"and I see you have sev- eral"-persisted the smooth McKen- ma, who halls from that portion of the Irish map where other tourists trek to kiss the Blarney Stone.
 But the tourist resolutely failed to zee why the president could not jump up from his desk at intermit- tent periods and receive the hun dreds of persons who call at the White House daily.
 As the tourist left he had the eX- pression on his face that usually is associated with the face of the man who has decided to shift his party politics overnight.
 What nice little boys you have," Pats last words were drowned out with the shutting of the White House door.
The Cordova daily times., 1922-07-10
WHITE HOUSE VISITORS PEEVED BECAUSE PRESIDENT TOO BUSY
 TOPASSAROUND HAND SHAKES

WASHINGTON, July 1O-'T want to shake hands with President Hard ing"
 This opening sally is fired at the White House doorkeeper several times day as the first shot of what often develop into a heated debate, with the heat mostly on the side of the visitor
 A tourist, with his family, dropped in at the White House executive of fees the other day and politely enough requested permission to see the. president. It was 10 o'clock in the morning, time when the presi- dent was engrossed in conference with important officials of the gov ernment and was due at a cabinet meeting within an hour.
 The tourist could not be con vinced that the president was so busily engaged that he could not come out even for the quick purpose of merely shaking hands.
 You don't understand" the head of the house (the man in the easel told Pat McKenna, for twenty years the guardian of the presidential sanctium sonctorium. "I have to catch the twelve o'clock train out of Washington with my family, and all I wish to do is to shake hands with the president. It couldn't possibly take more than a minute of his time We must shake hands with the presi-