The Covington leader. (Covington, Tenn.) 18??-current, 1922-09-14
HOW TO EAT DUST
(By Earl Hnl.)

(By Earl HILL
Naturally, to those Of us who have
had the experience our thoughts turn
to the times when some fellow has
placed US in a position to eat dust. To
a great many Of us this has seemed
easy for the other fellow, and we turn
to this plan as a good one in which
one might satisfy his appetite quickly.
But on this occasion we wish to treat
the subject from different viewpoinu,
To begin with, one should have a
coming appetite for dust-that is,
your appetite should be in such con-
dition that the more dust you eat,
the more you want
You should select some day in Sep
tember-a few days after you have
been to the last picnic and to the last
big meeting Of the season, Having
rested a few days, YOU will naturally
have hankering for a little more
dust. The fact is, you feel as if it
would take quite a good deal of dust
to satisfy you. Having selected the
day, you then hitch up the old mare
to the wabbly-wheel buggy and start
to preaching. Your neighbors will
take care Of the rest.
There is not neighbor near you
who owns a Ford but believes in the
statement that it is more blessed to
give than to receive dust You will
also notice that the Ford's ideas
along this line are in perfect accord
with its owner
A ford (you will observe the small
letter at the beginning Of this word,
due to the commences of the nancy
may be running along contented
enough on one OF two cylinders until
it sees you and the old mare. In
stantly it begins to prick up its ears
and spit and squirt around, and when
it comes past you it is hitting on all
four and buek-jumping all over the
road.
After the first one passes you you
will have dust then all the way to
church. If your neighbors' wives and
girls do not laugh out loud at you,
you may not be able see them, but
YOU can hear them grinning as they
go by. This gives flavor to the dust
and makes it go down more, if not
better, than it would otherwise.
Occasionally you will see someone
trying to stop the dust from going in
at the mouth, ears and eyes, but those
of us who have had more experience
know that at times the dust gets so
anxious to get in you that it is So
thick you can not take it all mi
the nose and must open
every avenue through which dust
may get into the human system. Be
sides, by opening the mouth wide
enough we are able to lay up a sur
plus for future use by filling our hol-
low teeth This also puts grit in your
craw and enables you to digest the
words you wish your neighbors could
hear. You feel like splitting, but you
will soon find that all the moisture
YOU have will be needed to keep the
lust from flying around after it gets
inside Of you
We could write more on the sub
iect, but we hope this outline will en-
able you to study the subject thor
oughly and that we will have a few
more well developed dust eaters in
,ur county.
/ should have said that by the time
you reach the graveyard this side of !
he church all you will have to do IS
o get you two old broken sticks
md drive them in the ground about |
Xix feet apart and lie down between
hem and "let the world go by You
ire already buried. You thus save
'uneral expenses and give your wife
| better chance in this old world
night say you also save embalming
expenses, as the dust will take up all I
he blood and other juicy substances
n you.