The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1922-06-13

| TIM.
! HAVE you seen the cilada twins on exhi-
bition in The Argus window? Interesting little
pair-Ci and Hi. They are alleged to be IT
years old, but, matter of TACT they are
! ~, and confirmed bachelors. They admitted
this when interviewed by a Tombstone re-
porter. When first approached by our re-
I porter CT and Hi were reticent and, in fact,
gave the impression that they were somewhat
stuck up.
; We'll" complained CT, you couldn't I'M
bend much either if you had pin stuck
through your umbilic."
: The Tombstone reporter >blushed. To cover
his confusion he offered CT and Hi a cigaret.
Take those things away" they exclaimed
in unison. "Out where we come from they
don't smoke such vile things"
"Oh, beg pardon, murmured The Tomb
stone reporter. mo offense, I'm sure. OF
course they are cheap-1O for Is cents-but
they're the best l afford"
You ought not to smoke them at ALL" said
Hi we don't CT and 1 belong to the Anti
Cigaret League. And we're dry, too" he
added.
! "Oh. I see," said the reporter. We'll"
brightly, you'd like little drink then,
Certainly MOTT" said CT. Didn't you hear
Hi say we were dry?"
Sure | did," said the reporter. That's why
offered you drink"
"Oh, you don't understand, young man." put
in Hi We believe in prohibition.
The reporter stared at him. GOSH" he
thought both of you were vets; in fact, 1 was
sure of it,
'Why?" they asked.
Because" said the reporter, both of you
4 guess you don't know much" sighed CT.
The reporter admitted this
THAT W." CT went on. doesn't stand for
wet; it stands for 'Wurttemburg. You see
we made in Germany"
THAT so?" said the reporter. Well so
long hope you stick around for a long time"
And he lighted his cheap cigaret, blew smoke
in the faces of CT and Hi, and sauntered out.
A ~ParicularIy Henius" Condemnation.
y From The August
Miss Wooster is said to hold that
dancing is particularly henius offense
specially when committed within the sa-
cred precincts of a Kansas school
house.
CAN'T something be done about the in
CAPABILITIES of life? Especially life for colyum
conductor. Take, frinstance, a colyumist's
contribs. Most selfish bunch of persons in the
world Fact, we assure you. One week they
flood our Cesk with contributions and then sit
back to wait until they are printed When
contrib finds his contribution he leans back
ana admlres 1t for a time, glances over the
balance of the paper awhile, then comes hack
to his. own brain child and admires it some
more. Then, more or less reluctantly he Gins
out his offering and places the clipping in his
wallet tor handbag, as the case may bel. Theng
dearly beloved, he (or she) doesn't send in
another contribution until admiration for the
first one has cooled bit-and that sometimes
takes two or three weeks. Ask us; we used
to be a contrib.
Why Peter Found no Time to Write His Rock.
lFrom Peter Whiffie", Carl Van Vechten.1
Here, said Peter, 1 study the Book of the
Dead, hlerOgrams, rhabdomancy oneiromancy
hippomancy, margaritomancy, parthenomancy
gyromancy, spodanomancy, ichthyomancy Ike
phalonomancy, lampodomancy, sycomancy an
GEOLOGY pneumatology. goety. eschatology,
cartomancy aleuromancy, alphitomancy an
thfopomancy, axinomancy, which is performed
by applying an agate to a red-hot ak aritb-
momancy, or divination by numbers aIectoro-
mantla- in which l lay out the letters of the
alphabet and grains of wheat in spaces drawn
IN circle and permit cock TO select grains
corresponding to letters belomancy diyination
by arrows, ceroscopy, cleidomancy, astragaIo-
NANCY, amniomancy clerOmancy, diviuation
performed by throwing dice and observing the
marks winch turn up cledonism, coscino-
NANCY, capnomancy, diVination by smoke can
topromancy, chiromancy dactvliomancv nor
formed with ring, extispcium. or divination
by entralls, gastromancy, geomancy divination
by earth, hydrOmancy, divnation BY water and
PREGNANCY and aeromancy, divination bv fire
and air, onomancy. divination by the letters Of
d name ohychomancy, which is concerned with
hngeT-nalls. ornithomancy, which deals with
birds, and chilomancy which deals with leve |
Hthomancy, eychnomancy, ooscopy kerauno-
scopa, bibliomancy, myomancy pan-psvcbisno
metempsychosis. the Martinists the Kabbalists
the Diabohsts, the Palladists the Rosicrucians
the Luciferlans, the Umbilicamini all tho nocu
Gus, chronological, and pneumatic learning in
cIudlng transcendental sensualism. At present !
am experimenting with white mice 7 din
thelr feet IN red ink and permit them to make
scrawis on certain curious chart
AFTER inhicting the foregoing on Bill orr
Incompatible Compositor. we shall lack cour
age 10 enter the composing room for at least !
a month.
~No Wonder; ALL the Repubs Must Have
Drowned
ICaption and clipping by kiddo out of Tho
Argus
FOUR DROWN AT PICNIC,
Manila, p l.. June 9-The Democratic
party won sweeping victory in the gen
eral election.
WELL, folks, by tomorrow or next dav-if
our usual luck will desert US long enough
Wen be occupying a camp near the Watch |
Tower, and the chances are that this coly1Im
Will be conducted by pair of scissors and
paste pot for the next several weeks Does
any other bright contrib want to get out a COL
yum for day to show Us how it really ought
q n GoRRf b E MO