davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1922-01-27
THEY'RE HUMAN
William Anterior Du Puy-
cause had wont

Congressman Thomas l.. Blanton OF Texas,
and Congressman Manuel Herrick of Oklahoma
are the men who talk most on the floor OF the
House, consume most space In the Congressional
Record. who are most lkened to that pest OF the
meadows, the gadfly. in the rhetoric of their as
sociates There is consequently much evidence
Of satisfaction when they turn on each other.
Mr. Blanton one day not long ago was painting
q word picture Of the manner In which he handled
Socialists In his district. was giving his partcu-
lar recipe for expunging them from the body
polite.
"wn the gentleman from Texas yield to a
question:" asked the gentleman from Oklahoma
The gentleman yielded.
Did the gentleman from Texas ever stop to
hken the position which he is taking" said Mr..
Herrick. ito that Of the fly which sat on the
ing over a sun.baked road and which pointed back
proudly and said. Look what a dust am kick
ing up7'"
Now there II Frederick J. Libby. who Is execu.
tive secretary Of the National Council for Limita-
ton of Armament. AL during the conference this
poured tea nearly every afternoon and has given
men from many nations an opportunity to pour
out that fuilness Of opinion that seethes within
them.
Mr.. Libby, who used to be a college professor,
traveller, q student Of international affairs, and
all shat sort Of thing. and after the war became
the European representative Of the American
Quakers who were busy alleviating suffering on
the other side. not himself a Quaker
he Of Quaker stock, but, after working three
years with them. the original advocates OF
peace, he adopted their faith.
A man comes to a high place, says Congressman
Burton Erwin Sweet Of Iowa, much boat
out Of a thousand might thread its way in a storm
through a maze of jutting rocks on wind-beaten
coast
Wise, resourceful, wealthy, masterful men by
the thousand have coveted the Presidency, yet
an impecunious college professor and a quiet
country editor have Of late attained It.
They did not land because OF their seamanship,
but because their boats miraculously missed the
many rocks that interviewed Similarly, is II odd
that we should today have Vice President who
ctnched that Job by q single sentence he uttered
in upholding the fight OF the Boston chief Of po-
lice against his striking subordinates.
mo one has a right to strike against the Gov
ernment," said Mr.. Coolidge. somewhat obviously.
copyright, 1saf)
The Washington times., 1922-01-27
LITTLE DROPS
OF WATER
BY "BUGGS" BAER.

CTATE'S evidence has been
turned by several fancy
scientists. Rumors have
been padding around that
our drinking water Ia satu-
rated with moisture plus
visiting germs.
IN substitute words. our
= drinking water Ia all wet.
VISITING germs are un-
v like visiting diplomats.
Diplomats never visit. Out
side of that, they are allied
in sympathies. elusiveness
and general contour.
L IKE all temperamental
- immigrants, these scien-
lists refused to agree on
non-biased samples Of New
York's drinking syrup. Now,
that prohibition is demon
strating that suspended ami
nation Is not necessarily
evidence of sleep that knows
no alarm clocks, II may be
well to know some shredded
truth about our aquarium
stuffings.
PROFESSOR BILE NJ ! 8 II
= took one stagnant look
at our Croton juice and
said:
SsTSHEY say that water
u runs under bridges,
but / am no bridge-jumper
Steve Brody took one chance
on a 2OO-foot jump, but I
would rather stagger those
200 feet"
THEN the Prof picked his
= own hip pockets. Prof.
Bohunkus then filtered the
following remarks between
both his teeth:
S0THE trouble with wood
= alcohol is that they
are not ageing 1t long
enough. will keep dumb
about our Croton water, as
I have relatives who live
near a spigot."
DR. PUNCTURE then
~ blew some ponderous
words through his Vandyke:
sSNEw YORK gets the
~ best rain water that
money can buy"
MOT bad for q doctor.
~ One vote was necessary
to decide. IL was UP to
Prof Klinik. He proceeded
to misquote himself:
CT HAVE INvEsTIGAT-
4 ED NEW YORK'S
DRINKING WATER. I
FIND THAT 1T IS WATER.
FORTUNATELY. 1T IS
NOT COMPULSORY. ANY
THING THAT is SAFE
ON A DUMBwAITER
CAN'T BE WORTH DRINK
ING. b.,
CIT U NOR e,
. II THERE ARE NO
GERMS IN NEW YORK
DRINKING WATER. NO
GERMS COULD LIVE IN
IT." ----
The Washington times., 1922-01-27
Stars and Stripes

Many q man refers to his wife his bitter
half.
An optimist is a man who goes to Pitts.
burgh In q Palm Beach suit.
Most OF the English kings have always had
q little Scotch In them.
The difference between a brunette and q
blonde Is $40 In q hair dressing parlor.
Columbus knew the world was round be-
cause he was convinced II wasn't exactly on
the square.
They're going to the moon In a rocket,
They say that the theory's sound:
But while I'll say nothing to knock II
I'll stay with my feet the ground
Poker players and mancurists are just
alike. They both hold lot OF bum hands.
The time to call up Is after the telephone
girls have given all the wrong numbers 10
other people.
The Washington times., 1922-01-27
Here's q Serious Change


~ HE mayor of Youngstown proposes to check immortality
and goes right at it. For refreshing change he DO
gins with the He says, "Vampng motorists
must CO. want them locked up and given the full extent
of the law This includes welldressed with big auto
mobiles that stand and invite young girls to
take rides with them"
The old method to wait until young girl had
TAKEN ride then lock her up in the police station and
let the man with the big automobile 60 home and forget
it. Methods improving Perhaps voting has had
something to do with it
The Washington times., 1922-01-27
Still Need
of Ligh t

ARUCH that Com m ssioner
IA Haynes says about progress
made in enforcing prohibition
may be true of the country as a
whole.
Undoubtedly large majority of
American children under three years
of age are destined never to see
saloon such as once existed in every
neighborhood and on nearly every
corner.
The area in which Astounding
drunkenness staggers through the
streets. is unquestionably less than
the area from which it has been
practically banished, let US hope
forever.
It is not easy to explain the
amazing growth in savings accounts
during this exceptional business de-
preston except by believing that
part of the wages which once went
into alcohol now goes into the bank.
But the dampness in the cities is
indisputable. And lot of it is due
to the secretive policy of the Gov
eminent in its handling of liquor
permits.
Until every detail in the life his
tory Of a parcel of hootch can be
subjected to the X-ray Of pitiless
publicity, bootlegging will continue
its rotten collision with recreant
officials and scandal threaten each
move of the machinery over which
Commissioner Haynes presides.
The Washington times., 1922-01-27
Genuine Friends of D. c.
In Congress
BY BILL PRICE.

1t is mighty pleasing at time like this, when the
steady development of the National Capital is threat
ened through proposed appropriations for the next s
cal year that will restrict and retard to find many
stanch and influential friends of the District in Con-
gress These friends too not hesitatng to express
themselves freely as to the hurtfulness OF mserly
appropriations when there every logical to
expect that the legislative shortcomings of the past
four years would be remeded Il.
Congressman FOCHT and ZIHLMAN, the former
chairman of the House District Committee, and the lat
ter active worker that committee, express the
keenes regret that the pressing needs of the National
Capital overlooked in the District appropriation
bill, reported to the House.
Both these in intimate touch with affairs
of the Distrct So probably than any other two
men in Congress- because they constantly devote much
time to local matters.
As Mr. Focht present conditions, "the District is
far behind the times now streets allowed to get
in bad condition during the war and have not been
repaired public thoroughfares should be extended and
new opened, and Washington must not be allowed
to run down. any than it isl !
'The boosted beautiful avenues and drives are,
according to Mr.. Focht, longer example for the
country and motorists coming here from elsewhere
express their surprise at conditions.
Mr.. Zhlman speaks along similar lines and thinks
that now is the proper time for public Improvements
when so many out of work and looking for
employment.
In pursuing national policy of economy and re-
trenchment, Congress is right 1t should apply that
policy to District well national affairs No cit-
of the District expects wishes otherwise, but
there is economy in permitting actual necessities OF
the National Capital to longer go without being pro-
vided for They have been deferred long enough The
proverbal "stitch in time' ought to be remembered
right now. Two years from now the stitch will be
useless and the cost will be many times greater 4
There is unwillingness the part of taxpayers
of the District to do their share All they ask is that
Uncle Sam, who and operates this bit OF terri
tory for his own benefit and national show place
for his millions of folks, be fair and square in handing
his proportion. Uncle Sammy, too, has over
100000 of District slowed away in his
treasury which are available for in meeting the
extra strain of municipal upkeepa strain that would
not have existed had Congress not deferred provision
for essential activities.
The Washington times., 1922-01-27
Remarkable SlIrgery.

"YE nave all nearQ OF the SlameSo
" twins and most of us at one
w time or other have seen twins
that were united by a physical tie.
How two human beings can get
along physically attached to each
4 other has always intrigued the
imagination.
One Of the things we have won
dered about is what would happen
in case one Of the twins died.
A recent instance in surgery was
noted by DR.. LIE Filiatre before the
Academy Of Medicine in Paris.
A pair of twins was born into the
world united by a fleshy band stu
ated about the middle Of the upper
t part Of the abdomen.
This band united the two abdomi-
nal cavities Of the infants. It was
. sort of bridge which united the
two xiphoid apophyses of the chill
dren. In English those two long
words mean the processes at the
lower extremity Of the breast bone.
They presented a case which
comes under the head of the science
Of teratology, which means the
science of abnormalities.
The cutting of such a bridge is
usually fatal, because it is very
much like cutting into one IS abdomi-
nal cavity.
A short time after birth Ma
deleine, one of the twins, fell sick.
Her condition became dangerous and
threatened the life of her sister,
Suzanne.
DR.. LIE Filliatre was called in and
performed the surgical operation
which separated them. They were
then three months old.
The operation was difficult be-
cause along the bridge which con-
nected them were great blood YES
sells; besides, the vital organs Of the
two infants were in a measure
mixed, and it was necessary to cut
off a part Of the tissue which united
the liver of one to that of the other.
Madeleine died three days after
the operation.
Suzanne, however, got well and is
in good health at the present time.
She is strong and vigorous. All
that remains of the operation is a
slight scar.
1t is the opinion of the surgeon,
lie Filliatre, that to obtain the best
results, it is best not to wait until
the separation becomes necessary on
account of sickness, as then the chill
dren are subjected to useless risks
and the experiment takes place I'M
der unfavorable conditions. AS
soon as possible the operation should
be performed under a local an
esthetic.
The Washington times., 1922-01-27
SerUe This
Nation First
THE Congressional Record Of
Monday, January %, contains

Monday, January %, contains
these statements by Senator
Porter j. McCumber, new chairman
of the Senate Committee on Finance:
do not think there is q govern
ment that is owing us that could
pay its back interest today. ' -
If we feel the burden Of this
mighty obligation upon us Of
carrying our Indebtedness Of some
So, 1000, 100000, how must the
French people feel in carrying the
indebtedness of $51, 900, 000, 900,
with their country devastated;
and how must Great Britain feel
carrying $4,000, 100000, with
population about one-third Of the
United States, and with about
one-tenth of her male population
down in their graves? = -
For Gods sake let us not at
tempt to play the role of Shylock
toward our allies.
What does Mr.. McCumber mean
by such talki
We won the war for the allies at
an enormous burden of taxation and
expense for ourselves.
We have largely financed them
since the war ended.
Into every area of pestilence and
famine American relief has gone
quickly as a benediction.
And, although each ally promptly
seized valuable spoils and most Of
them entered into secret treaties to
our disadvantage, we asked nothing,
got nothing and have not yet even
required payment of the interest on
the debts they owe US.
Why, then, does Mr.. McCumber
mention the name of Shylock in con-
nection with the United Statesi Is
he representing American interests
or foreign interests in the United
States Senatef
Shylock was not foolishly liberal
as the United States has been. Shy
lock would not have taxed his own
people to carry the burdens of
others, who were either wasting vast
sums on imperialistic ornaments
used to Cypress and exploit subju-
gated peoples or spending Shylock's
loans upon monopolistic set-ups
against him.
Offsetting the debts and sufferings
of France and Britain, which so
evoke the sympathy of the chairman
of the Finance Commute are grabs
of land and power and privilege
inestimable in potential value and
needing only time and the quieting
Of American demand for payments
justly due to be transformed into
enormous actual value.
Give us once more an AMERICAN
policy.
The Washington times., 1922-01-27

: AND HE showed him
how.
AND IN spite of the
fact.
THAT THIS friend
Of mine.
KNEW NOTHING
| at all
ABOUT DRIVING .
car.
HE DROVE it right
out.
AND ONTO the
road.
AND STARTED
away.
FOR HIS bungalow.
AND JUST a. he'd
done.
WHEN HE was a
boy.
| . HE CONQUERED it
AND HE was glad.
AS H. rode along.
, FOR HE'D bought
the car.
AS A birthday gift.
a, FOR HIS very good
| wife.
AND SHE didn't
| know.
HE WAS buying it.
| AND HE reached his
| home.
AND DROVE right
In.
| AND HIS wife came
out.
| AND THE moment
he saw her.
HE LOST his nerve.
| AND DROVE right
at her.
| AND TORE down
the porch.
AND WRECKED the
| car.
| AND BROKE an arm
= I THANK you.
WORLD, AFTER ALL.
rho recently were pray
! "Frawnce" are begin
The Washington times., 1922-01-27

IT'S A FUNNY OLD WORLD. AFTER ALL.
A lot Of the people who recently were pray
ing for the salvation Of "Frawnce" are begin
ming to wish their prayer had not been an
swered. Humor seemed for q time to hsvs
left the world, but Il had return ticket.
The Press., 1922-07-27
HANDY WITH HIS REVOLVER
Oi6-TIme Sea Captain Notorious for His Brutality to Those Under
 His Command.

One of the most inhuman charac- ters in the history of navigation was Bully" Waterman, a captain who com handed a ship between New York and San Francisco years ago. His treat ment of the crews under his command were classics of cruelty. On one of his voyages he left New York with crew of AZ men, and by the time the vessel reached San Francisco IT of them had been shot by Waterman, most of them fatally, his excuse being that they refused to obey orders.
 When the ship returned to New York the authorities were waiting for Water man, but he learned of his danger and cOntrived his escape. He landed on the Jersey coast, and the ship was un- loaded and cleared In the name of the first officer. When the vessel left New York for it's return trip the sher- If came aboard and announced his determination to stay there until he found Waterman. When Sandy Hook was reached the acting captain told the sheriff that he was about to steer for Cape Horn and advised his return ing to New York by the pilot boat, He did so, and soon afterward Water man boarded from a cOasting schooner, He never returned to New York, but died in California.
The Press., 1922-07-27
PECULIAR IN PLANT WORLD
Strange and Valuable Property Pos sessed by the "Compass," lndi0-
 enous to America.

One of the worlds most curious plants and one that is indigenous to this country alone Is the compass plant. which was first brought to the attention of the scientific world by Gen. Benjamin AlvOrd in 1842. It re- ceiyed its name from the strange property exhibited by its leaves of presenting their faces to the rising and setting sun.
 This remarkable species, says the New York Post, is a perennial plant of the order cOmpOsitae. The first year it bears only radicaa leaves the second year and after 1t is d Towering herb' with four or five leaves from 12 to 3O inches in length.
 1t is found in the rich prairieS of the Mississippi valley, from Minnesota to Texas. The polarity of the leaves was known to hunters and settlers long be- fore General AlvOrd discovered It, and they would resort 10 it when lost on the prairies on dark nights, as by feel ing of its leaves they could easily get their bearings. Many lives have been saved by this plant.
 By the movements of the weather plant an expert Is able to fOretell the weather and warn of forthcoming storms, cyclones, earthquakes, fire damps and volcanic eruptiOns. This plant, which bears the scientific name of abrus precatOrius. Is 8 native of Cuba. It bears no flowers. and con- sists merely of long stalk from which branch numerous twigs containing rows of delicate looking leaves. The leaves frequently change color or close while the twigs bend themselves into curious positions.
The Press., 1922-07-27
Springs Mineral Water
Our Bottled Drinks
Offer you the best that be obtained in the line of summer beverages.

bottled carbonated beverages entirely the food properties furnished by sugar juices according Dr. skinner Assistant Chemistry, United States Department of Ag cuure of the outstanding authorities in America beverages carbonc these bottled drinks exceed ingy the human in that it is digestive sm ulant.
 of these beverages not confined entirely the properties furnished fruit uce Dr. Skinner asserted gas, while it be classed exceedingly valuable in the unconng of the human system deetic carbonated drinks recognized authorities Cushy Soman who digestive stmuan increasing the appetite and absorption of the food liquids The drinking of carbonaed beverages rapid absorption of the which the carbonc generally followed by augmented this carbonated wh a flushing of the tissues is desired.
 Cohen authority for the statement that caTbonc action intestnes secretion of the intestinal stimuatve the the system generally. These clearly indicate the detetc charged carbonic gas
The Press., 1922-07-27
Heart. Differ With vndlvIdvaIs.

"The student insistently demands a description of what he is pleased to call a normal heart There is real ly no such entity as a normal heart, " said Dr. Louis Faugeres Bishop in an address before the Medical society of the greater city of New York. "The nearest approach can be found in a heart which Is normal to the person carrying it. The heart of labOrer would be abnormal to a bOOkkeeper, and the heart of tall thin man would be strange finding In the chest of a short, fat person."
 Dr. Bishop was urging the examina- tion of hearts by microscopy, which he said enabled the physician to watch the heart in action and to detect any abnormality of the performance of any part of it.
The Press., 1922-07-27
Thnra la sn Mnoh ta Ra nona.


 No way has been found for making hsroIsm easy. even for the scholar. Labor, iron labor, is for him. The world was created as an audience for him; the atoms Of which it is made are opportunities. Read the perform ance of Bentley. of Gi6bon of Cuvier, Geoffroy Saint HiIalre. laplace. He can toll terribly" said Cecil of Sir Walter Raleigh. These. few words sting and bite and lash us when we are frivolous. Let us get out of the way of their blows by making them true to ourselves. There is so much to be done that we ought to begin quickly to bestir ourselves. This day labor of ours. we confess has hitherto a certain emblematic air, like the an nual blowing and sowing of the em- psror of China. Let us make 1t an honest sweat Let the scholar meas ure his valor by his power to cope with intellectual giants. Leave Oth- CTS to count votes and calculate atockS,-EmersOn.
The Press., 1922-07-27
,r..ct,. Depreciation. EnormOS..


 The rhinocerOs-beetle is rendering the plantations along the coast of Ger man New Guinea valueless, and unless the Australian government, which holds the mandate, does something tC fight the pest the plantations will be nothing more than monuments to the depredatiOns of the rhinO. A core spondent says: "In one or two in stances they represent an appalling loss, and the sweeping away Of the fruits of from ten to twenty years hard work. During the German Occu patton a determined effort was made to wipe out the beetle, and to this end half-a-dOzen scientists were imported from the CamerOOns and Germany, and attached to the local bureau Of agriculture. These investigators tried to find a spray that would Kill the parasite without damaging the palms, and they were we'll on their way to success when the war came and they fled. Since then nothing has been done except by the beetle. who every wear renders a certain number of plan. tations yalueless. The authorities don't seem to realize the seriousness of the thing.
The Press., 1922-07-27
THE PRESS.
LEwIs McLAueaLlN. rUBLIsHER
w.THURsDAY, JULY s7, 1899.

a a year fin advance. vgheR net paid In advance. at the rate of s8.9B . year.
 Entered as second class matter at the post Oface at Stafford Springs. Conn. under the act oR March 3. 1873.
 Resolutions. obituaries or cards of thanks inserted ct coRts | liAo. Births. marriages aaa aeaths iasOrtOd free.
 We are not responsible for. nor dO we by publishing. endorse the opinion of our correspondents.
 Communications received without signaturosN always committed to the waste baskot without attention.
 Advertisers desiring change should have copy at oMaGe by Tuesday at 13 m. otherwise we cannot guarantee change
 This paper Is mailed regularly to Hta Uuh@erabors uMe1l Q doADitO order tG discontinue tS received and all arrears are paid in full.
 We are always glad SO have news items sent in. but request that they reach uO by WOdnSsday morning. OI earlier. if possible. Xe i0 OftOn nee ossary to abridge items that are re- eOtvOd after Wsdn0sday AOOn. TOrmi closed Thursday at a. m.
The Press., 1922-07-27
N0TTHE

The Registrars of Voting District No. l, of the Town of Stafford will meet at John G. Wightman's Residence, on Friday. August 4th, 1922. and Au- gust 11th, 1922. between the hours of twelve o'clock, noon and nine o'clock in the afternoon for the purpose of making an enrolment of legal voters or said town, as provided by An Act concerning Political Primaries and Caucuses." Chapter 176 of the Public N, B. After the first day of March. in any Political Caucus or primary, except those. electors enrolled as pro vided by said Act
 1922. "AS No'h'
 JOHN c. WIGHTMAN.
 ARTHUR H. ADAMS,
 Registrars.
The Press., 1922-07-27
N0TICE

The Registrars of the Town of Will Iington will meet at the Hall in South Wilmington on Friday, August 1, 1922, and August II, 1922, between the hours of twelve o'clock, noon and nine o'clock in the afternoon for the purpose of making an enrolment of legal voters ot said town, as provided by An Act concerning Political Primaries and Caucuses," Chapter 176 of the Public N; B. After the first day of March. !9O2, no person can vote or participate in any Political Caucus or primary. ex cept those electors enrolled as provided Dat Dated at Wilmington, Conn.,, July 26,
 ARTHUR l.. SPICER,
 D. LEE ROYCE,
 oWll Registrars