New-York tribune., 1922-11-19

HOW TO BR IfsEFUT. AND HAPPY
FROM SIXTY TO NINETY. BY A. Isap-
thorn Smith. 2. A.. Sa. D. Dodd. ainad
I%W% HERE nugt be lots OF Dir.
III Smiths in the world, but the
n one shall call upon q few
years hence, il / last that
long, Is the one who lives ct Harley
Street, London, W. |. Senescence has
but TO steady hit its paisied clutch
Mt my arm and I mako ail speed TO
this marvellous DR.. Smith for list of
his fayorite grueis and toddies. He
has convinced ms that there is hope.
Most Of my boyhood ehums and
classmates should sit up in their pill
lows this minute and read "How To
Ninety II will keep them out of
mischief and shall be glad to see
them growing old, if not gracefully, at
least somewhat less disgracefttily.
IT wiz startie tfam into action with
the, news that every cloud has o sill
ser lining. Many Of them, believe,
will thereupon kick the hot water
bottle out the window, observa that
it is the smile that wins, and thus
eiety and candidates for the Presi-
dency.
Most of their aehes and pains, TO
tell the truth, are only the psychic
projections of gelf-pity, that most un-
manly and deplorable Of indulgences.
MY own case is little different. |
have isolated. and identified in my own
person hundreds Of perfectly un-
psychic, bona fide. twinges. know nay
subject. ! feel intimate and familiar
with seniiity. as if | had invented it.
l feel privileged, IL / choose, to be
useless and grouchy from sixty to
ninety. That is why shall call upon
Dr. Smith. / may need special treat
ment.
meanwhile recommend the written
words of Dr.. Lapthorn Smith TO all who
have room on their shelves for another
beloved elderly character Of the true
classic fiavor-one whose startling un-
reality (though his existence Is vouched
for by Sir Charters Symonds, his friend
for fiv,e and forty years. is twice as
natural as life. He is kinsnan to the
Vicar OF Wakefield and to Samuel Peuys
and TO ali who have lived incredibly, in
facf. or fable. He may not have the
latest science. He has more. He has
poetry and heart that beats for all
persons over sixty and palpitates dis.
| creetly for every nonagene riaR lady
! within his gracious u1ajesty's domin-
! Ions.
| believe an author could be legally
hanged for employing either the liter
aly style or the scientific method OF
| ''How To Be-" etc. Nevertheless ]
favor crowning the book with wreatns
of flowers, not of immortelles alone, but
with rosemary for remembrance, too
Dr.. Smiths hobby Is collecting news.
paper clippings about the extremely
| aged. The facts in each clipping are te
| him of unchallenged authenticity and
/ OF breathless interest to the whole
world. In this think he Is perfectly
right. He has rescued whole grave
yards Of centenarians from total OBJ.
security and set them to gossipine
about their symptoms in garrulou:
and delightful reunion.
! Observe now that remarkable ole
| lady, Mrs. Ross, Of Ramscraigs, Dun
heath, Caithness, who lived to be 10:
and never had to do with doctors at all
declaring that old age comes only t.
4 those who go meeting il, and Mrs
1 Bourque, of Nenagh County Tipperary
| who had I21 direct descendants fighting
IN the war, and all of them fine, up.
standing lads; MIR. Isaac Lamb, Of Ashe
near Aldershot, who last Christmas. a,
l0l, was cracking nuts with his teeth
and jokes with his neighbors, and ole
Jack Faulkner, of Appleford, still g
daring horseman at ninety-two, who
when asked how many offspring he
really had replied, Goodness knows
Giddap."
Then there is Mr.. stubbins. Of