davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Butler weekly times and the Bates County record. (Butler, Mo.) 1918-1950, 1922-03-02
LAWYER COULD NOT SEE IT
Legal Luminary Felt Himself Regret.
fully Compelled to Decline Offered
Job Of "Sp.IIbindins."

II want to take time by the fore
lock-" he said as he entered law
yer's office.
YES. sir! Yes, sir" was the reply.
always take time by the forelock and
you won't get left. What it 1t. sir
"Well we are TO have an election
this fail for city offices, and | wanted
to know if could engage you to make
a speech for me the night. before cleo
ton"
Are you going to be u caudidate|
was asked.
Il am"
"But what about the speech?"
"Wly, Teller is going to run
against me again who beat me by 300
votes last year. In fact, | only got
two votes. want you to come up and
give me such speech that will beat
him worse than he beat me. You will
want to lay it right down to him. He
killed horse once, and stole a saw
mill, and has been married three
times. II you will come up and pre-
sent the case in way to knock the
Teller out, will give you S..
The lawyer respectfully declined to
take the case, and somebody will get
showed under again.-Cincinnat! En-
Quirer.
The Butler weekly times and the Bates County record. (Butler, Mo.) 1918-1950, 1922-03-02
1Aoo ~ ChE0IT THIS sToRfi
II True. However. Il Shows the Re-
narkabie subtIsty Of, the Mind Of
the Oriental.

One ingenious II dishonest native Ok
india turned his dark skin to excellens
account. One of the European exams
liners OF Calcutta university. says Lor9
Frederic Hamilton In his book Days
Before Yesterday" told me that there
had been a great deal Of trouble about
the examination papers; by soma
means or other the native students a.
ways managed to obtain what we may,
term advance" copies of the papers
Ny informant had accordingly devised
4 scheme to stop the leakage. Instead
Ut having the papers printed In ths
usual fashion he called In the services
Of single white printer on whom b.
could>rely. The white printer receives
the papers early on the morning OF TIA
day designated for the examination
and duly set them UP on hand press
inside the building. He had one as
sistant. a coolIe who was clad only IN
loin cloth and turban: by no possibility
could he conceal any papers about his
person.
In spite Of these precautions, how.
ever, 1t soon became clear at the ex.
animation that some Of the students
had a previous knowledge of the Ques-
lions. How had they managed 1T
Eventually 1t appeared that the cooliet
taking advantage Of the momentary
absence OF the white printer, ha6
whipped off his loln cloth. sat down
on the form" and then replaced hia
solitary garment. When he was
obliged to strip on going out the
printing ink did not show on bis dark
skin; and all that he had, to do was to
sit down on large sheet of white
paper for the questions to be printed
off on 1t. Then, with the aid OF q mir.
ror, the students could easily read
them. The oriental mind is subtle.
The Butler weekly times and the Bates County record. (Butler, Mo.) 1918-1950, 1922-03-02
DAY OF eAYETY IN SICILY
At Festival Time the People Give
Themselves Up 70 All Forms
Of Amusement.

Booths and barrows lined the streets
selling fireworks and drinks, torrone
made Of new almonds and honey.
knives and ribbons: and alternating
with the merchandise and drinks were
the gambling stands. There were
dozen roulette tables. silver horses
whirlihg around over the numbered
courses where yon put your solde. and
bright arrows with painted feathers
that stopped whirling sooner or later
and left light tip resting on the
lucky number. Crowds Of people we're
putting their money down. mostly lit.
tie boys. 1t seemed. writes Stark Young
IN the North American Review. The
rockets were firing from every direc.
ton. with reports like bombs, unbeliev-
ably loud. to appease the Sicilian Tx
ing for mere noise. Now and then fire.
crackers In punches were thrown from
the roofs Of the churches into the little
stone streets. with rattling and Diet.
onati0n like bOmbardment. Beside
the Duomo the band from Syracuse
was playing airs from the operas.
Meantime the deep blue of the early
night had fallen over the walls and
over the country dropping down to-
ward the sea and rising on the other
hand toward the Saracen castle above
the town. A. few pale stars were out
and a slender moon. almost past. was
shining. The whole piazza was sweet
with the perfume of the iessamine
that ran along the front OF the house
next the church. Incredible sweetness
In that soft blue air. And everywhere
were the voices deep and bright.
The Butler weekly times and the Bates County record. (Butler, Mo.) 1918-1950, 1922-03-02
The Shapes of Eggs.

An expert recently entertained the
Geological society of London with q
mathematical discussion of the differ
enccs In the shape of eggs. few
eggs, like those of the owl and the
tortoise, are spherical or nearly so; q
few. like the grebc's or the cornor-
ants are elliptical, with symmetrical
ends; the greut majority. Ike the
hens, are Ovoid. or blunter at one end
than ut the other.
The hens eggs are always laid
blunt end foremost. Eggs which are
the most unsymmetrical are also eggs
Of urge size relatively to the parent
birds The yolks Of eggs are sphsricat
whatever the form Of the eatire ed
may be. This Il shown to be due to
their being enclosed In o auid. the
white which makes the preeseso
eveSywhere - the surface Of sAs yelk
DsaetieAlly constant.
The Butler weekly times and the Bates County record. (Butler, Mo.) 1918-1950, 1922-03-02
CAN DO WONDERS IN CANOE
Eskimos Are Literally Part Of the
Frall Craft Which They Have
Named "kayak."

Built Of sealskin, with the fur inside.
stretched over a framework Of wood,
the Eskimo canoe-called kayak
is only about ten feet long, and
often not two feet wide at Its widest
part, tapering ITO nothing at both
ends. The greatest width Of the
kayak is at the middle. Here there
Is combing which slightly rises above
the deck. The rest Of the deck, save
this hole just large enough to admit
Of the passage Of the body Of a man,
Is covered with sealskin.
When the Eskimo goes out in q
kayak. he puts on special sealskin,
waterproof shirt over his regular cloth.
Ing. With very great care he steps
into the kayak. sliding his feet over
the tender bottom until he Is seated
on the wooden seat which is only the
thickness of the wood above the bot
tom. Then he draws over the comb
ing the end Of his shirt. which tightly
fits the combing part Of the kayak.
Experts Of Greenland learn to turn
a somersault In canoe and come up
again on even keel. an exchange states.
But the best of the Eskimos Of Green.
land are not content with merely be-
ing able to right the kayak when 1t
overturns. They practice until they
are able to paddle the kayak in such
way that they shoot ahead on their
course even as they turn that danger
Gus somersault in the sea.
The Butler weekly times and the Bates County record. (Butler, Mo.) 1918-1950, 1922-03-02
SAW SIGNIFICANCE IN MoLEs
Writer o. Lsne Age Pointed Out the
Meaning Of Spots On the Human
Anatomy.

Have you q little brown mole con
cealed somewhere about your anatomy
that You sometimes show to your
,friends-and sometimes don't3 Well
every little mole has q meaning Of
its own, according to chap-book that
was current In the Eighteenth century
entitled Dreams and Moles. With
Their Interpretation and Significance
(printed and sold in Aldermary church
yard. Bow lane. .London). Whether
yop are to be happy or unhappy, lucky
or unlucky in life, depends upon where
your little pet is located. Here are
some of the interpretations given In
the old chap-boOk:
A mole on the right shoulder de.
notes happiness to man or woman.
A mole on the left shoulder denotes
a man to be quarrelsome. but woman
to have many husbands. =
On the left cheek denotes frankness
In man or woman.
On the left ribs, cruelty In man. van
ity and pride in woman.
Near the right shoulder. you are to
be a slave to love II man, and to be
beloved Of great men. ii you are q
woman.
A mole on the right side Of the alb
domen means riches for a man and
happiness 10 marriage for woman.
One under the, right breast presages
4.
back. riches and honor.
A mole on the right arm denotes
that you will rule your own house
hold; one on your left arm. that you
will be slave to duty.
A mole on the right hip signifies
good fortune in wedlock to man or
woman.-Kansas City Star
The Butler weekly times and the Bates County record. (Butler, Mo.) 1918-1950, 1922-03-02
Stamp prcfi.eerino Slow.

The lowest Lilliputians in the whole
hierarchy Of international finance are
probably the stamp peddlers. There
Is hardly a person who was born on
the other side who is not dabbling In
some angle of foreign exchange, but
the stamp men seem willing to oper-
ate on the most fractional margin Of
profit. Up and down the market
streets OF the Italian sections they go
every Saturday night, displaying
stamps that were made in Italy. They
offer them to shoppers, generally fol
lowing q boy who sells writing paper.
No doubt they are to encourage early
replies to letters In which they are
inclosed. Occasionally a transaction
Involving a half-s' Get or so Of stamps
may be seen. SO that small amounts
Of money may also be sent in this
way to friends on the other side.-New
York Sun.
The Butler weekly times and the Bates County record. (Butler, Mo.) 1918-1950, 1922-03-02
GAUGES Fond BY Cans.

Dinxley. who halls from the West
and Il merely q sOjourner In the big
city. sees all sorts Of things to make
him wonder.
-Out where ] come from when yen
ask . waiter about the slowness q
the service b. always tells you Tt's
o. the 1re.' But It's different here.
4 rev evenings agc ordered park asa
apple sauee. The perk came In aue
tiDa, bat the apple sauce was nj0.
int, Inquired about Il and the waiter
replied: IN have II for roo In ~
vte. Just spenins fresh can
IL thsseb any1hing that doe0t
sems b . eaa. tie Nsw Ysekse t6lnhs
y ~ frssA. apparoatly. rn-afsaao
- 0o9 soue t. tsaP m 6sss ~
1pf0 . - sA@1lsw yne -
= i. \.
The Butler weekly times and the Bates County record. (Butler, Mo.) 1918-1950, 1922-03-02
CAUSE OF CANCER UNKNOWN
Dread Oisease Has Baffied the Best
Efforts Of the Medical Fraternity
Tor Centuries.

Medical science today knows no
more about the cause Of cancer than
was knewn 1000 years ago.
Some families seem to be immune.
In other families deaths from cancer
occur In generation after generation,
~ II to show a hereditary tendency.
There are many so-called' cancer
houses" In which deaths from the dis
ease have occurred with such lament.
able repetition as to destroy their mar.
ket value for selling or renting pur-
poseA An evil repute attaches to GER
tain well-known cancer Districts" in
which the death rate from this malady
% extraordinarily high. There Is one
such district In the Berkshires of Mas
sachusetts, another II in the middle Of
New York state.
One Of the many theories regarding
the cause Of cancer 10 that 1t IL at
tributable to an undiscovered germ.
carried By the bedbug, or some other
insect II that were correct, the dis
ease would surely be more prevalent
among the slum-dwelling poor than
ameug weil-to-de people who enjoy the
bOe6t Of sanitary surroundings But
D1cA = not the case; cancer 10 %
es0naa ameae the E3cA % In the tene-
nont aha poorer euarsssS Il our eitisa
11osYA O1patch.
The Butler weekly times and the Bates County record. (Butler, Mo.) 1918-1950, 1922-03-02
OLE WAS 0BEYING ORDERS
First Five Hundred Miles Slowly, Said
Agent, and He Intended to Do
as Directed.

The agent Of certain popular auto
mobile made sale to a Swedish farm
er In a small town near Topeka. In
his instructions to the purchaser he
said: "You must be careful"
"Ay skall do dat"
"Also for the first 5O0~hiles you
must drive slOwly-nOt over Is miles
an hour--or you will burn out your
bearings"
Jay do dat, too" said Ole.
"Y0ur car has two gears. high and
low. If you want to go fast put 'er
In high. If you want to go slow, put
'er In low"
"Yas. stree. you can bet on Ole-eef
ay want to 60 fast lax evertang ay
put heem In high, If ay want to 60
slow ay put heem in low. Shure, ay
no."
The next day the neighbOrs noticed
Ole driving his new. car UP and down
the road In ''low." He kept 1t up un-
til 1t began to snort and steam and
was developing a terrific knock.
"Ole, you mustn't do that. don't you
know You'll ruin your cal that way
you'll burn up the bearings" they eau
toned him.
"Ya can't fool Ole. Da boss who
sold me das car told ma ay skall not
drive over faffteen miles hour for 500
miles. He said to go In hurry put
car In high gear, to 60 slow. lax turtle.
put heem I'm low gear. Ay skall run
500 miles in fow gear; get out way
quick. ay got 400 miles to CO."
The neighbors argued. expostulated.
then laughed. and Ole. with. IVA skall
al 20 to H." struck out down the
voad at Is miles an hour In low gear.
The Butler weekly times and the Bates County record. (Butler, Mo.) 1918-1950, 1922-03-02

vaSsse-l Drithee haste. siY kuaGAk
- ths rsscse Of . lady IMPRESSED =
yeeder tswn b. wicked ogre.
kDi&ht-OA. bsaher! Thls b NJ
~ e.. Why 6eav yos - - savo
~ yOusosaeS -
ves;ee--oAs y ~ wifA ~ hnlgaG
- - esfusss 70 allow ~ - saUn0
- - Das0o1D N ssnpsisa-RWGA.
The Butler weekly times and the Bates County record. (Butler, Mo.) 1918-1950, 1922-03-02
Too Crowded.
So Daniel Boone wa

So Daniel Roone was now on
his way westward to Missouri. to a
new land of fahied herds and wide
spaces. v ing his last fare
wells. he flOated past the little groups
till their shouts of good. will were
long silencetl. anf ''is fleet swung out
upon the Ohio.
As Boone sailed down the beanti
ful river which forms the northern
boundary CT Kentr"ky. old friends and
newcomers who d only heard hi
fame rode from fur and near to greet:
and gOdspeed him on his way. Some
times he paused far . day with them.
Once at least-this was In Cincinnati
where he was taking on supplies
some one asked him why he was leav.
ing the settled country to dare the
ffeotieP once more
'sTOo crowded" he answered; II
want more eabe~.room i"-Ceastan0
kAodsay Skinner.
The Butler weekly times and the Bates County record. (Butler, Mo.) 1918-1950, 1922-03-02
Hard Blow Cemin0.

How about G shock absoebsrY
asked the man Tho was buyiAS Q
cheap car.
I'VE can put one o."
sNe." said the purchases. "Dut I'd
Nike to have one sent to my wife b
o6vanc-ahe expects Q hmousaDe."
The Butler weekly times and the Bates County record. (Butler, Mo.) 1918-1950, 1922-03-02
Eee7anla.

EQo-7Anla.
~Gaboou seems To have Q good 0pln-
loo IT himself"
"lt'S lucky he doesn't write biees.
saphiss Of distin' -uisised 'peOpse."
why eur
.lasu NE his own phoeegr1pA -
9 tfsaetaDaoce."
The Butler weekly times and the Bates County record. (Butler, Mo.) 1918-1950, 1922-03-02

II cannot countenance your kissing
sne Of your patients. nurse"
But, doctor. II was In NJ hes q
osty."
"How sor'
This gentleman swsrs he'd dc
without i."-Birmingham se-Hsrala.
The Butler weekly times and the Bates County record. (Butler, Mo.) 1918-1950, 1922-03-02

1ewo Economist
He was On Ingenious md ineenuoue
small boy. -Nother." be said IN ese
eccasien. will yoU wash my fAerr
~why, Hugh. can't you - thatr
sYsa. mother. csn. but I'l heve =
~ ~ hansls. and they doat ~ r.
-1ansper.o NsRnsisa
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1922-01-12
LETTERS TOTHE EDITOR
Our High School.

Editor, Barre Times; was sur
prised Go read in last nights Times
that the school commissioners had ap-
pointed Mr.. White to act as principal
OF the high school for the balance Of
the year. Surely the position of SUI
peryising the activities Of our grade
schools requires the undivided atten-
ton Of one person, and it seems as If
he should not be forced to assume the
extra duties of principal in fairness
to him ana in justice to our grade
schools. With high school of Barre's
size someone should be there all the
time to maintain discipline and oversee
and direct the work of the staff. Sure
ly some OF the large staff now in our
high school should be capable of tax
ing up Mr.. Hunts work and carry
ing it on for the balance Of the year,
rather tlian overload our superintend-
ent with this extra work. A promo
tion OF this nature would show our
teachers that their services were APP
preeiated and stimulate them to still
better service if that is possible.
Taxpayer.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1922-01-12

Talk that President Guy w. Bailey
of the University of Vermont may
become candidate for governor OF
Vermont IN the next primary is
brought out once in four years with
as much regularity as election year
itself. Perhaps the talk is brought
out by someone wishing to scare some
one else out of the race for the posi-
ton. II is calculated to occasion con-
siderable scare inasmuch as President
Bailey il a most powerful factor in
matters political But President Bal
lev is rather well situated at present
and might be ayerse to giving up his
position at the head of the state uni
yersitv, even for the chance Of being
governor and Of going still further in
the official life connected with the
state; on perhaps it would be more
proper to say that he might desire
to stay in his present position for a
time. before entering political and off
cial life again. Al any rate, there has
been no definite word from him, 50 far
as known
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1922-01-12
sEASoNABLE ATTIRE.

With becoming solicitude, the boys
OF Dartmouth college warn the fair
visitors to the Dartmouth winter car
nival next month to come equipped
with wooden mittens and socks, high
overshoes or boots and warm tam o.
shanters. 1t is most timely sugges-
ton and one that ought to be needed
by the young ladies who accept invi-
tations to the winter sports carnival
inasmuch as much of the carnivafs ac-
tivities takes place in deep snow The
boys declare in statement TO the
young ladies: "We saw you, at last
carnival, stand in the snow in pumps,
silk stockings and a fur coat. We were
sorry, and you did not look as happy
as you tried to. So remember that
there will be snow, that you will have
to stand in it and that 1t win be cold.
We wish you to look pretty and warm,
not expensive and cold" The young
ladies who 90 to Hanover next month
attired in pumps, silk stockings and
fur coats, along with their other ar
ticles o. clothing, viii elicit more cen
sure than pity from the Dartmouth
boys after such warning. Perhaps
most of the girls win be sensible, and,
at the same time, comfortable.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1922-01-12

The conferees on limitation OF arm
aments never realized what task they
were setting themselves to until they
actually got into the midst Of the
task. The main problems have branched
off into many rami6cations not UNI
mixed with the provincial viewpoint
of many of the nations involved; and
the work Of drawing up even prelim-
mary basis Of agreement for redue-
ton Of armaments has stretched out
over very long period. Because Of
the marrow viewpoints brought into the
conference the work must seem very
wearisome; yet the conference IS be-
ing held to the task with commend
able firmness and fidelity to obligation.
There is strong hope Of success.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1922-01-12

Blood Of White River Junction rel
creed both games.
Mrs. Paul Y. Wilson has been elected
guardian Of the campfire girls. MRS.
James A. Graham and Mrs. q. !. ADJ
bott win have charge Of the cooking
classes, Mrs. A. B. Washburn OF the
sewing classes, Miss Helen Brooks of
the hikes and Miss Mildred Shaw of
the art classes.
NJ. f. Gaskell shipped Tuesday to
Galveston, Tex, three Silver Sebright
bantam pulIets. Mr.. Gaskell is one OF
the four Vermont members of the
American Bantam association. This
order Is from the greatest distance OF
all that he has received, but previously
he had shipped birds as far as Ala
bama.
Mrs. Catherine s. ellison has been
appointed Administrative and Robert
Noble and Rev. j. Wesley Miller com
missioners and appraisers Of the es-
tate of the late Il. d. ellison.
The ladies' aid society OF the Con-
preeational church held its annual
mees'hg yesterday at the home OF Mrs.
+. n. Chapman. The retiring presi-
dent, Mrs. Eliza r. Miller, was pre-
scented casserole in recognition OF
faithful services several years as pres
ident, Mrs. Chapman making the adj
dress. No member present being will
ing to accept the presidency, Mrs. Luz
ella Kidder was elected vice president
and secretary; Mrs. Nathan L. Chase,
treasurer and chairman of the flower
committee; Mrs. Miller, Mrs. Chapman,
Mrs. +. s. Blossom and Mrs. Il. {. Nc
Intyre, direetresses.
Mrs. Susan 4. Chase, Berry Chase
and Jesse F. Moody are at Key West,
Fla, enjoying the contrast to the ac-
customed wintry blasts. In the near
future they plan voyage to Cuba.
Donald $. Arnold has a position as
operator at the Central Vermont sta
ton at Roxbury.
Rev. A. B. Christy of Unionville, O.,
will preach in the Congregational
church the next three Sundays. He
is being entertained at DR.. G. !. ABB
bolts.
The annual meeting Of the fire dis
trict was held Monday evening. :.
NJ. Waslburn was elected moderator;
GUY Wilson. clerk and treasurer; Her
bert G.. Allen, member of the pruden-
tisl committee for three years; l.. II.
whitney, chief engineer; II. II. skep-
ard. frat assistant; 4. c. Blaisdell, sec
ond assistant; j. ?. Marsh, third as
sistant. A tax Of 40 cents was voted.
The ladies' social union OF the Uni
versalist church will meet next
wednesday afternoon at Miss Abbie
Whitcomb's.
Mr.. and Mrs. James II. Huxley Of
Royalton are spending few weeks
with their son. John Huxley. Both
are past 81. and very active.
A meeting Of the public health com
mittee Of the local branch, American
Red cross. was held Tuesday at John
!. Wilson's Office. Il was voted TO
,rv 10 secure the services as district
nurse 81 Miss Ida N ward Of Worces-
ter. Mas. = graduate Of Woonsocket.
r L. hospital in the class Of 1917. She
has lad experience in public nursing.
Il j. aoped she viii accept and begin
work Feb. I.
B. c. Rogers shipped . carload Of
potatoes to-day. mostly from Royalton
and Barnard.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1922-01-12
Futur. Prnriaea Fsr.

New eurste TO old ladyl--Don't you
tinnk II about time your son learnt
Some trades
Old iady-Biess yer cart. no. IS al
rixhfi Il father picked Up . tidy bit
from rrwsraprr men - Oldest N
hahifanf. az fsD just step INTO the
business rheu ne time cemes---bos
ten IransTiTt-
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1922-01-12
BETHEL
w. H. $. Lost Both Boys and Girls
Games to Windsor Last Night.

Whitcomb high school lost both its
games to Windsor high school by a
single point 1T the town hall last eve-
ming. The Whitcomb boys lost in the
last half minute Of play, after losing
the first period Is to 8 and then over
taking their rivals in the second Pc
Rod. The game was hard one to
lose. The girls played three periods,
the visitors leading by single point
at the end Of each period. The games
Mere good ones to watch and were en-
ioyed by good crowd
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1922-01-12
The Men Higher Up.

Old Mrs. Practically dear, it's
about time for you to choose a mate.
Young Miss Nautical--Mate moth
ingl L have my eye on a captain
Judge.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1922-01-12
Pats AND PUNCHES

When a fellow reaches his 25tn
birthday anniversary he can't help but
realize what long time 1t is to live
and what mighty short time il is to
look back upon.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1922-01-12

With no aspersion toward his illus
trious, ii fiery, predecessor in view,
the exchanges inform US among George
Wharton Peppers qualifications to fl
the seat in the Senate made vacant by
Boies Penrose, that he had no peer, IN
his DAYS at the University of Pennsyl-
yania. as a hammer thrower.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1922-01-12
A Child's Request.

A little girl Of four seeing her grand
mother remove her false teeth said,
'Dramma, will you please take mine
out like that for me s"--Boston Tran
script.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1922-01-12
Another Difference.

With most Of us men our clothes are
in style as long as they are wearable;
whereas with the women their clothes
are wearable only as long as they are
in style Boston Transcript