The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1922-11-01
Dorothy Dix Tails
Hard to Please.
III DOROTHT DIR
Esgaa,D H1gk0ss Paid wenaA WeseaR

lldEu 10 IledSC@1s
"All men are polygamists by ma.
ture," said an old bachelor the other
! day. "If we told the truth every
mothers son of US would have to ad-
init that he would like to be the grand
pasha of a harem containing all
the fifty-seven different varieties OF
Now civilization and morality, and
the high cost of millinery in these
degenerate days, prevent a man from
INDUCING himself in wholesale matri-
| mony. One wife at a time is all
the law, and his pocketbook, permits
| him.
land that's where the trouble
comes. It's trying to fit the harem
ideal to a two by four flat and
the divorce problem.
For the man demands that his one
wife shall be a composite of all the
charms and graceS of her entire sex
personalities. Naturally, this is an
impossibility. but when she fails to
do the chameleon act, and change her
color to meet his varying moods, he
| feels defrauded, and becomes dissat-
isfied with his bargain.
1.-The real reason why husbands tire
of their wives is seldom the fault of
the women. 1t is because the man
expects to espouse the whole of wom-
ankind with one wedding ring.
men are not honest enough
with themselves to admit that the fly
in the matrimonial ointment is their
own unreasona BILE demands upon their
wives. Suddenly they realize that
their Mary Ann is distastefuI to them
because she smells of bread and but
tering of The nursery. Or their AS
pasta gets on their nerves with her
high browed conversation. Or their
Maud's bills appear to them too out
l - i
their thoughts turn yearningly toward
some woman who is all soul, or they
long for the soothing society of some
lovely moron who does not know
whether reparation is the name of a
new color, or a prohibition cocktail,
or they begin to think how comfort
able it must be to be married to a
woman who doesn't think that a wife s
whole duty is to spend money, and a
husbands to make it for her to spend.
1T isn't that the man is really dis
satisfied with his Mary Ann, or AS
pasta, or Maud. 1t is just case of
other moods, other women.
That's why I have never married.
I'm no matrimonial prize EI'm not
good enough for. one woman to say
nothing of being an eligible party for
fifty-seven varieties, but such as L
am, I have such wide and catholic
taste in femininity that I have never
been able to decide amongst them.
L For instance, just take the mere
matter of physical appearance. Alb
stractly, 1 admire, above all else, the
tall, stately goddess whoflooks as If
she had been born with crown upon
her head, and a scepter in her hand
If matrimony were only a grand
promenade with all the world looking
on, and applauding my taste in wives.
how gladly would i cast myself at the
feet of such a regal creature. and i'm
plore her to 3et me be her humble and
adoring slave -
Then L reflect that a goddess
would be a terribly straining PROPOSE
ton to live up to, and L have a pre-
sentiment that I would get tired of
being on my knees. And. anyway, I
also like a jolly, little woman who is
just a good arInfuI, and whom 1 could
pet and baby. and to whom I could
play little tin god