Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1922-09-13

cossssol.r 1924. ~ GoGAs ALLAN Moss
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Why is it that a married woman
always WHAT'S until her husband is in
bed before she asks him if he locked
the back door?
4 near-sighted man lost his hat in
a strong wind. He gave chase but
every time he thought he was catch
ing up with it, it whisked from under
his hand. A woman screamed from a
nearby farm house.
What are you doing there 2"
He mildly replied that he was try
ing to retrieve his hat"
Your hat?" exclaimed the woman.
There it is over there under that
stone wall; that's our little black hen
you've been chasing"
Today's sunshine is mine, says the
optimist, and he leaves tOmorrow's
clouds for the pessimist.
4 x
AS THEM-THEY KNOW
1t only takes a wedding
To make fellow learn
He thought that she was his'n
But he found that he was her'n.
X X n y
The Fluter
A tutor who footed the flute
Tried to teach two young tooters
to toot.
Said the two to the tutor,
lis IL harder TO toot or
To tutor two tooters TO foot ?''-The
Veteran.
n n n
Grandma-"People don't seem to
marry as young as they did when l
was girl"
Grandfapper-"No, old dear, but
they do it oftener"
Dear Office CATS a football coach
a two,three.or four wheeled vehicle 2"
IMPORTANT DISCLOSURE
John" said his young wife, "have
you any secrets you keep from me 2"
why no." he replied, wondering
what in the world was coming.
well then, / am determined I will
have none from you"
'You have secrets, them"
only one, and | am resolved to
make clean breast of it. I'm afraid
it viii disturb you, john
go on" he said hoarsely.
'For several weeks | have had a
secret, John---a secret longing for
new dress, with hat to match"
DR.. Miller says if you don't know
how to bake bread ask Charlie Rhodes.
y h = y
If 1922 bathing suits were to speak
for themselves, they would have little
to say.
Page Mr.. Arthur Conan Doyle
Johnny treturned from Sunday
school -Mother, have they got any
automobiles in Heaven?
Mother-Why?
Johnny-Because at Sunday school
everybody sang: IF We Love Him
Here Below, He Will Take Us Home
On High"
A suggestion to Will H.Hays to help
the movies is not to permit fat men
and women sitting in end seats.
RULE %
Pullman Conductor-"See here. por
ter, what do you mean by hanging
red lantern on that berth?"
Rastus-"Rule % says to hang out
a red light when the rear end of the
sleeper is exposed, sab"
4
Did You Say Broken?
For Sale-Pair of broncho horses.
Good weight, sound, broken. Owner
in hospital: Address, I. B. Schell.
Eau Claire Wis. Leader.
~ n
Convinced of Error-Teady 81 wish
| hadn't lickekd Jimmy Brown this
morning"
Mammy-''You see how wrong it.
was, don't you dear?"
Teady-"Yes, cause / didn't know
till noon that he was going to give a
party"
Dear Office Cat; Here's one. all
done in nice gold letters, on a loan Of
fee i'm Marion, Ind
FROSTY MONEY TO LOAN
1t is presumed Frosty supplies his
clients with cold cash.
A Rose By Another Name
Got job yet?
Yeh,
What is it?
Craftsman.
Where?
Water-works.
Craftsman?
Yeh, drawing water.
y
Same in Everything
No matter how carefully you pick
apples off tree, there's a fine one
away up there at the top that YOU
missed. In life, it's about the same
way.
Eve stole first and Adam second;
St.Peter umpired the game,
Rebecca went to the well with the
pitcher,
While Ruth in the field won fame.
Goliath was struck out by David,
A base hit off Abel by Cain,
The Prodigal Son made home run
Brother Noah gave checks for the
rain.
A well-known woman is a famous
Mrs. Malaprop as regards her speech.
And what in France" asked a
friend, "did You enjoy most?"
4
In this weather a man is justified
in wearing his whiskers long enough
to keep kiss from skidding.
GOIOshes or Wells
Two young ladies stepped out Of
the music hall and tripped down the
sidewalk their evils flaming in the