The New York herald. [volume] (New York, N.Y.) 1920-1924, 1922-02-05

hat suggests the following playlet:
Scene: Photograph emporium.
Un one of the booths Ferdie and
Gertie are trying out some jazz records.
In an adjoining booth an elderly gen
tleman, of scholarly mien, is hearing
some operatic pieces. His wife, dig
nified, middle-aged lady, is by his
side.)
Gertie: Let's play 1.-THE Jabberwocky
jazz first. That ought be good.
Ferdie: Nav, Gertie! 1t amt got
half the pep Of 1.-THE Quavery CULVER"
Let's try that first
Gertie (petulantly): You always
want your own way!
Ferdie: Aw, don't say that Gertie,
be reasonable That "Quavery Culver"
is wonder. Amt nothin' like it on
the market, unless it's The Wiggelly
Wolf-trot." places record on the re-
POLLING disc.J You'll like it, kid. Wait
and see!
Gertie (loith a touch of en1otion): All
right, have your own way. I knew
you would in the end!
The Elderly Gentleman in the Neat
Booth Ito his Wite): When those
idiots in the next booth stop arguing
I'd like to try out this selection from
Don Kookerikoo" the new Bulgarian
opera.
His Wife: Yes, dear l hear it is
beautiful.
The Elderly Gentleman (oith feel
ing): I wonder when that debate on
the respective merits of the latest
products of Tin Pan Alley is going to
end.
His Wife fenderIy): Soon, hope,
dear.
(There is a momentary lull in the
Ferdie-Gertie sector. This is due to
the fact that Ferdie is busy inserting
a needle while Gertie stands in cor
ner sulling)
The Elderly Gentleman inserting
record: Thank heaven they've shut
up!
As the meltingly beautiful strains
of don Kookerikoo," Itzocko de
Noodlekoogle's world famous master
piece, begin to intrigue the old gen.
tleman's ear, from the next booth is
sues loud tinpandemonium that indi-
Gates beyond a doubt that 1.-The Quav-
cry CULVER" is in process of quivering.
The lovely lyric Of the Don Hooker
ikoo" classic, which. as you need
hardly be told, begins with the en-
trancingly poetic lines
seria cum possim ichthyosaurus
Atauosque Mako ares vous tsoris
PTurtbus quaint iefery odium
Cdvcdt emptor biourbonate sodium.
and the less classic opening of THE
Quavery Culver
Throo me off roof, chuck me in a
river,
An Prl still be a-doiH that ouauery
QuiUeri-
meet head on, as il were, and there
is no trace of the Noodlekoogle classic.
All one can hear is the triumphant
shrek of THE Quavery Culver" revel-
ing in its victory
Don't SIT a-mopin' i0ith torpid huer
When you can be cured By that
QtId-a-a-a-very outver-r-r-ri
me EtdeTty GentIenlGn feTpI0d-
ing): Insufferable idiotsl The idea of
playing that rot in a public place! A
plague on the half-wits Out of this
madhouse! Quick,
His Wife (soothinglyJ: Yes, dear,
let us go.
Salesman (greeting them 1oit1t boW
as they IedUe the BOOTH: How did you
like the record, sir?
The Elderly Gentleman: Out of my
way! (Erit, banging door,
In the Ferdie-Gertie sector a far
more peaceful scene is being enacted.
Ferdie listening in rdpt ddmiyd-
ton to the strains of 1.-THE QWdUery
Quiuer): Amt 1t bird, Gertie?
Honest, amt it, kid?
Gertie (icho, cannot conceal that the
song has cdptiUated herr: gotta adj
NIT you're right, Ferdie. It's a peach.
Ferdie embracing herr: I knew
you'd like It, kid. Leave 1t to Ferdie
all the time.
Gertie: Not here, dear. There's some
one In the next booth.
Ferdie embracing her dgdinJ: No,
they beat 1t little while ago. Gee,
it didn't take 'em long to make their
selection, did IL?
Gertie: No. don't like to buy in
a hurry like that. do you. dear?
Ferdie: Nav! Like to take my time.
Gertie: Let's try some more records.
Fredte: You bet. But let's put that
"Quavery Culver" to one side. Well
take that one.
Gertie: You bet! Some record
(Cnrtdin.)
THE FENCE CAT.
NnTIIE,p tb;ur .h.4 wxokn .s.x