davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1922-08-01
REFORM PLAN
FOR OKLAHOMA

ENID Okla. Aug, 1.-(U P)-
Taking advantage of the state primal
election today Thomas Pratt Hopley,
local prophet respectfully submit
ted program for righteous govern
ment of America to the disgustcd vic
Tins who have been sulng." the form
of printed circular which he distri-
buted over the state.
The program outlined by Hopley
follows
l. national edict Prohibiting the
worship of gold.
2, National laws prohibiting citizens
from taking a referendum vote on
their laws THE first rotten referen-
dun vote in history was when the
Israelites decided to worship golden
calf, Hopley says.
ga law prohibiting ignorant men
from swearing.
4. National laws prohibiting railroad
traffic on sunday
.. Order all children be taught the
truths declared by Jesus Christ
g. Behead the skyscraper, the
bloadsucker of honest labor.
T. Laws to suppress haunts of vice
in America
s. Laws limiting the the size Of big
cities Make all roads bad. Take
away all automobiles to make people
stay at home,
9, Compel all able-bodied men to
work eight hours a day.
10. Suppress Sunday newspapers.
Exclude from the mails papers carry
ing full-page advertisements. AN adj
vertiser fails to tell the truth when he
takes more than fourth Of page to
advertise in HopleN says,
H. Love one another.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1922-08-01

! the age of four, he was stolen from
his parents and brought to the United
States.
Ellis served under General A. J,
Smith and sheridan in Tennessee ana
Georgia. Once while soldering in
the union army, Ellis acted as barber
for Abraham Lincoln, who was visit :
ing the front. He got $40 and a plug
of tobacco for his shave. He alsl act
ed as barber for General Grant. Don't
worry was the best advice Ellis could
give to prospective centenarauS.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1922-08-01

Perhaps clothes do make a gol
champion, but the best tailor on Fiftl
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1922-08-01
BY HENRY L. FARRELL
Omitted Press Sports Editor. J

NEW YORK. Aug. 1-CU. P.l--Jot
O'Brien, with plenty of time on hi
hands and 100 per cent INTEREST il
baseball, sits in on the sessions at the
Polo grounds every afternoon since
he left the post of Secretary of this
New York Giants.
Like a lot of the veterans he re-
sents the modern trend toward the
wild swing and the departure Of the
old system of "layin' EN- where they
aint"
'"The craze for home runs and long
distance clouts is changing baseball
and it isn't for the BETTER o" "Brien
says. Science has no place in the
modern game, Strategy is a lost art
and crude baseball is the order of the
day."
They never think of bunting a
pitcher to death these days, or fouling
pitcher up into the clouds, like the
old timers used to do. They just get
a toe hold now and swing
Dave Bancroft, the Giants short
stop, is the only player in the game
'ouaS VIII tliSo 10 uSSN SClGI1GE III HIS
batting and he gets away with it. He
crosses the pitcher and the defense
because he knows it is more sure
way of getting on base and that is the
first duty of lead off man.
Chick Galloway, the Athletic in
fielder, is another one who has be-
come successful this season as a scien-
tific batter
He was a disappointing hitter while
he was swinging, but he jumped into
the 800 class when Connie Mack |
prevailed upon him to forget home
runs and try to place his hits for short
singles
Bunting has become almost a for
gotten art since the home-run craze I
started. With infields way back as
far out of the danger zone as they can
get. the chance fora d successful bunt
Is about twenty to one. However, they
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1922-08-01
SHAVED LINCOLN FOR
$40 AND TOBACCO

ADA, okla. Aug. 1.-U. P)--
Charles Wesley Ellis, lis. Patriarch
Of Pontotoc county" is believed 90 be
the oldest white man in Oklahona.
Ellis life has been one Of advcn-
ture He was born in Alaska, and. ~
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1922-08-01
SUPERSTITION CAUSES
AUTO LICENSE CHANGE

ALBANY, Aug 1-SHperstition
cost Harry Brown, local taxi driver,
S25.
Harry had been doing little or no
business for the last few weeks. He
suddenly came to the conclusion that
it was all because the license he oh
tanned from the city to operate the
taxi was No. 13
1t cost him $25 to change the l.
sense. but he says it was worth it.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1922-08-01

sssNepne would never put Joe Beckett
under Dempsey's skull piece,
In " battle Of glad rags, the two
jacks kearns and Dempsey-could
spot all comers sixty suits and retain
the title in q walk.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1922-08-01

go up to hit. Perhaps because .
great bunter never drew dime at the
/ gate.
Walter Hagen got more than gem
erous share of the newspaper colamns
| when he was in England winning the
British open championship. The fas-
! ticious American is good copy and
1.-The English newspapermen found him
good source of material. They even
went so far as to discourse ON the psy-
Geological effects of his clothes.
This question was asked many
time during the open golf champion
ship in which the American players,
Walter Hagan, Jock hutchinson and
Jim Barnes, arrayed in picturesque
though workmanlike clothes, played
some of the most consistently brilliant
golf of the tournament" the London
Daily Express said.
"a west end tailor, who is an en-.
thusiastic golfer, was as much i'm
pressed by Hutchinson's pale hello
trope cardigan and Hagen's knitted
peacock blue sports coat as he was by
~
"There men will set new fashion
in gold clothes for men," the tailor
commented. "They have proved that
the man who studies comfort rather
than appearance need not attire him
self in albagey pair of flannels and an
old coat. A total disregard for APP
pearanee is probably the reason why
British golfers compare so poorly with
the more picturesque Americans.
Hutchinson knew that his color /
scheme was perfect and the knowl /
edge could have no other effect than
to help him to play. his best. Hagen |
in peper and salt coat would PROB |
ably not have won"
In addition to introducing new |
styles of clothes on the British links /
the trio of picturesque Americans
will start a new style % go!t
over there also.
Perhaps clothes do make golf
champion, but the best tailor on Fifth
The Columbia evening Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1920-1923, 1922-07-22
What Others Say

strong feeling against having any inter
course except the slightest possible will
England. Washington was wiser. Ger
many has been beaten, not only beaten
but crushed, not only crushed but pun
ished by a peace treaty severer in its
terms than anything known among civi
lized nations since the partition Of Po
land. She has accepted the consequences
and is trying to live up to a treaty ws;ch
even her enemies acknowledge is impossi.
BE of execution. We all thought its
hardships were palliated by Cermany's
precipiisting the war and her cruelties
in conducting it. But she was not the
only nation responsible for the war, nor
hers the only hands imbrued in its atroci.
ties. She is now trying to get back to
contribute something 10 her own higher
life Of humanity. Every educated man is
much in her debt Now that we are at
peace with her it is not just and it Ger.
tainly is not magnanimous to stand aloof
in self-righieous isolation and refuse all
intercommunion in the things Of the spir-
it. In building up walls between our
selves and other nations, including the
nation Of Carl Schurz, let the Fordney
tariff suffice.
The Columbia evening Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1920-1923, 1922-07-22
Pugilistic Lawmakers.

From the Baltimore american.
The fighting championship Of the Unit
ed States senate ought to be decided. We
do not know who would emerge the win
ner in a contest Of elimination, nor dc
We suppose very many people have bet
ting favorite, but for the sake Of the SEN
ate itself this grave question should moi
remain longer in doubt. Senator Watson
of Georgia holds the challenge record to
date, being closely pursued by Senator
Robinson Of Arkansas. Mr.. Watson has
bliihely offered to beat up Senator Len
root and couple Of others and Mr.. Rob-
inson entered the lists Thursday against
the asceiic-looking Mr.. McCumber. SEN
ator King courageously stood between
Senators Robinson and McCumber and
Senator Poindexier, apparently embold.
ened by Senator Kings example, clinched
with McCumber and halted his forward
march. Mr.. Jack Dempsey, who is
known as the Utah Mauler," will read
with pride and pleasure Of Mr.. Kings
part in this encounter, for it may be as
sumed that the latter would have clinched
with McCumber if Poindexter had not
beat him to it," 30
The Columbia evening Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1920-1923, 1922-07-22
The Queen of Sheba."

Meet Balkus- The deliriously beautiful
Queen of Sheba, double joinied and
ambidextrous' .. speaking seven differ
ent languages, she can make herself
clearly understood in Asperine, Lister
inc, Phenaciiine and the various Arsenic,
Sulphuric and Antiseptic dialects"
That is not all. The writer tells us.
She was as active as a flea. D.. She never
reigned but she poured" in short, "She
was beautifully vacant lot!''
But le, us not err. This is not circus
announcement. These are excerpts from
satire on the famed Queen of Sheba
She who twiddled with Solomon and was
so beautiful that at the sight Of her
many Of her suitors dropped dead!
The author of this satire could not
have chosen more appropriate nom de
plume-his name is Cruich-Phinneas
A. Crutch, B. A., NJ. A., F. P. A., S. o. S.
He has written great work. OF course he
is thankful TO his bibliography-a most
ridiculously lugubrious photography. He
has FOUND the Queen of Sheba for US!
This is not series Of fables in slang.
though the author can use slang with
consummate skill. Let us take part Of
the dialogue between the Queen and her
-caveman' suitor. Colossus Of Rhodes:
Balkus: You're frightening poor
little me-
The Cayeman: Lay off that stuff,
kid, lay off it,"
Through the entire span Of her known
life the writer follows her. No, he does
not 60 alone He is protected and
ihwaried al times and helped by his
notes. Beautifully ridiculous notes.
OF course, he dares not and does not
forget Solomon ] Of Isrial," as he calls
him. Solomon who, at the age Of ihir.
ty-two was famous for his wit, his ward.
robe and his wives aside from that
Solomon was undoubtedly the creates,
fop, jack-a-dandy and prick-me-dainty Of
his time"
When Solomon was arrayed in all
his glory he looked like a Chinese we'd
ding and smelled like an explosion in a
perfumeV shop. When he-sat on his
throne he scintillated like a prism, and
The Columbia evening Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1920-1923, 1922-07-22
COLONEL ]. A. HUDSON.

Col. ]. A. Hudson was such vital
force in the community that it is difficult
TO realize that death has suddenly re-
moved him from our citizenship. He was
a leader among men, with big brain, a
dominan. personality. persistence that
never tagged. His interests were
many and varied. Road-building, better
and braver journalism, farming, dairying.
political reforms, telephone communica-
tions, public enterprises Of far-reaching
importance-ihese were some of the la
bors to which he gave his mind and
strength. He was in very real sense
crusader for Columbia and Columbia.
sorrowing at his death. will hold ever in
grateful memory the fine service Of his
life.
The Columbia evening Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1920-1923, 1922-07-22
Among the People of This Vicinity

in this locality Wednesday talking will
the voters.
Mr.. Thee shipped a car of sheep to S,
Louis on Tuesday.
Walter Garrett and family Of neal
here were in Columbia Wednesday.
Mr.. Funk and his mother and sister
were in town Wednesday afternoon.
]. P. Royston bought stock hogs from
Barney and Wesley Rice Wednesday.
Nelson Hall Of Columbia was near
Rochepou Tuesday gathering blackber.
ries.
The searchlighi being used at New
Franklin can be plainly seen here at
Rocheport.
Mrs. J. r. Roysion went Wednesday
TO visit with her daughter, Mrs. Oscar
Ely. at Shaw. Mo.
A few Of the young people Of this dis
trict went to Bells Lake Wednesday
evening. Swimming was the pasiime.
The regular preaching services of the
Methodist Church Sunday morning will
be led by the pastor. the Reverend Ezell.
". E. Magruder was accidentally shot
Wednesday afternoon when he was clean
ing loaded automatic revolver. The shot
entered the end Of one Of his fingers tear
ing hole in his hand.
The Columbia evening Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1920-1923, 1922-07-22
CIRCUIT OPENS ON JULY 2s
Roeheport Quarterly Conference to
Have Church Pageant.

The fourth quarterly conference fol
the Rocheport Circuit. which has beer
announced for the fourth Saturday and
Sunday of July will not be held until the
fifth Saturday and Sunday, July 29-30
The first service will begin at 10 O'Clock
Saturday morning. Reports are expected
from all officers and organizations.
The pageank The Light OF tine World. y
which was given a; Kansas City during
the International Sunday School Conven.
ton. will be given at Belts Lake the
evening Of August 2, under the auspices
Of the Builders and Hustlers Bible
Classes and assisted by the people Of the
communitv. The Robertson sisters Of
Kansas City will direct the pageant.
More than one hundred players will take
part.
The stercoptican lecture, Child Well
fare-Everybody's Business" put out by
the National Child Welfare Association.
will be given at the Rocheport Metho-
dist Church Sunday evening. July q.
A camp meeting will be held on the
Roby camp ground. beginning Sunday,
August 9th. The Rev. H. X. Cornish and
assistants will conduct the services. Ar
rangements have been made whereby all
who wish may bring their tents and camp
during the meeting.
The three Sunday schools of the
Rocheport circuit will hold their second
rally for the year at Bells Lake on Au-
gust 5. Rev. W. NJ. Alexander. president
Of Howard Payne College, and his wife.
The Rev. T. NJ. Taylor. pastor of the
Methodist Church at New Franklin. and
r. Wesner. field secretary Of the Mis-
souri, conference Sunday school board
will all appear on the program. Ser
vices begin at 10 o'clock, and dinner
will be spread at noon.
The Columbia evening Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1920-1923, 1922-07-22

short, sharp silence-and the world ap.
plauded, showing its hearty accord.
What was done at the Conference the
entire world could see. Daily, new sur.
prises were sprung in the matter of form
and results at the conference. All the
nations showed willingness, even eager
ness to get into the spirit Of the United
States. The work of the Disarmament
Conference al Washington is a monument
TO Americas foresight into the need Of the
entire world; but it also is indicative Of
the fact that she cannot wash her hands
Of international affairs even though a
number of people in the country are
against the league or a league Of na-
tions.-
Brooklyn Daily Eagle, Brooklyn. N.
T., paper, 423 pages and an index, sl.50
nett
The Columbia evening Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1920-1923, 1922-07-22
FIRST IMPRESSIONS

Most Of US 90 through life discriminat
ing our many friends from first impres
sions. While many people look disfayor
ably upon such an attitude, yet no mat
ter how charming a personality one may
have, il he is not able to make a good
frs, impression, he may be disqualified
for further acquainianceship. -"
What qualities in a person make a
good first impression? In all probability
no definite criterion could be formed for
the judgment Of first impressions or for
those TO be judged With each person
there arises different standard, each per-
son representing a different problem.
Perhaps if hard pressed for a standard.
We might sum up first impressions first
by 4 pleasing manner and secondly by
immaculaieness and mode of dress. From
these essentials We judge, favorably or un-
favorably. those strangers We chance TO
meet. Sometimes a cheerful Good
morning" accompanied with a pleasan,
smile, although from a stranger, leaves a
lasting good impression. Sometimes poo-
physical impressions may be overlooked
by acts OF kindness, vii OF intelligence.
In general, We can say that it is usually
within ones own power 10 make pleas
ing first impression.
The Columbia evening Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1920-1923, 1922-07-22
THE NEW BOOKS
League of Nations" "

Whether or not the United States is
technically or officially within the League
Of Nations, unoficially she has her place
in the -unchartered" family Of nations Of
the entire world; the Washington Confer.
ence was proof Of that.
In this volume, officially called League
of Nations, Second Year Book" we have
all the doings Of the Geneva League and
the Supreme Council from January l.
1921 to February 6, 1922. This includes
the complete story Of the Washington
Conference with complete texts of
treaties and agreements.
Charles H. Levermore, Ph. D., Secre-
tary Of the League Of Nations Union,
edits the volume.
The phrase League Of Nations" is
broadly interpreted in this books treat
ment, for it treats with the work Of three
or four different bodies that we're not
under the original conception of the
League. In other words this volume
gives the doings Of bodies gathered to-
gether for world harmony-with Of course
special reference to the doings Of the Su-
preme Council and the Washington Con-
ference.
From the tone and the contents Of the
year book We can readily see that the
United States cannot keep out Of "a
league Of nations" In every conference
or congress that is called, America is
asked to participate. This is not out Of
pure diplomacy or politeness, but be-
cause, as If seems, the entire world looks
TO the opinion and action Of the United
States. The present administration, CON-
ing in on the issue il did, could not deny
that fact, and on May Secretary Hughes
accepted the invitation for the United
States to enter into the Supreme Council.
Germany when she desired mediation
where her reparations were concerned
turned Immediately to the United States
to act as international umpire"
Aht Silicu sctdtCS - 100 ClOself pound
up with Europe and the rest Of the world
in too evident knot TO keep aloof. Obvi-
cusly she could not if she tried for no
sooner had she entered the Council Of
Ambassadors than she became as active
as any Of the nations that were members.
From this closer unity, no doubt, the
Washington Conference sprang. Infor-
NAL inquiries were made through our d.
plomatic representatives whether an in
iernational conference for the limitation
Of armaments was favorable. The answer
was Yes Thus the United States, new.
est member Of the Supreme Council,
called probably the most important con.
ference Of the year. if not for years.
Here the United States surprised the
world with her clean cut desire to get to
brass tacks and do just as she had said
her purpose was. She took the first step
and made the frs, offer. There was a
The Columbia evening Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1920-1923, 1922-07-22

when he moved he tinkled all over like
crystal chandelier in 4 draught.''
And the famous conundrum bout be
tween Balkus and Sol. 4 specimen fol
lows:
Balkus: Ready
Solomon: shoot
Balkus: why does B come before
c in the alphabet?"
A pause.
Balkus: Cant you guess? Shall
! tell you?" '''' a" s
Solomon: Go ahead
Balkus: Because a man must BE
before he can SEE.
| think that's awfully good, don't
you?'
Solomon: Slick"
We find here that We never would have
known the entire life Of The Queen Of
Sheba if the author had not made a won
derful manuscript discovery while re.
covering from a fit of insanity. Thus we
know that Balkus was carried of into the
desert in a most thrilling manner at the
dead Of night, by a wild Arab Sheik
(suspiciously like wild" novel and
movie of our day. In his tent, after
slashing seventeen holes in her Lord and
Master, she lived happily forever after
We presume
Every sincere manifestation and form
Of humor and wit enjoyable is to be ex-
perienced in the reading Of this book
the chuckle, the smile, the snicker, the
laugh and the roar tif you are that kind
Of person. are provoked.
Truly Phinneas A. Crutch has indeed
written a great work on the Queen Of
Sheba!
&C. P. Putnam's Sons, New York;
cloth, illustrated, 100 pages; $3.50 metz
The Columbia evening Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1920-1923, 1922-07-22
DETERMINED ANARCHISTS

The recent attempt to assassinate
President Millerand Of France calls az
tention to the determination with which
followers Of anarchist rule pursue their
ends. Two shots were fired at the French
President as he was returning from re-
view Of troops.
The youth who committed the act,
when apprehended and lodged in jail, ex-
planned his action by saying, Il wanted
TO make a demonstration to attract atten-
iion TO the condition Of the proletariai, "
and went on to point out that the ordi-
nary methods OF, publicity were too weak
for his purpose.
II is evident that his cause, or any 9TH
er cause, whether right or wrong, cannot
be best advanced by such methods as as
sassination. Force NAV have its uses in
certain instances, but certainly il cannot
be called into play in an effort to popu-
iarizc an idea.
In many parts Of the world at present,
especially in Europe, the anarchis,ic fol-
lowers are extremely active. Within the
Jest three weeks there have been three
national leaders attacked, two Of whom
~ere killed unfortunately. In Germany
DR.. Rathenau was the 378th victim Of
political assassination since the German
Republic had been formed. And of this
number only . murderers were convicted.
The Columbia evening Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1920-1923, 1922-07-22
wOMEN's PROGRESS IN CHINA

The seemingly dormant condition oi
China for the last several centuries is be
ginning to change. This country, with its
vast territories and millions Of people
which has taken so little pan in the
shaping Of the worlds history, is arous.
ing, and the spell Of the centuries is
soon TO be broken.
Old customs, which have been reli-
giously adhered to in China for hundreds
Of years are now being thrown of, and
the idea that its people must do things
in the exact manner in which their fore
fathers did is being discounted by mod
ern ideas. Modern ways Of doing things
and modern ideas Of government have
gradually been absorbed into the life Of
China until today she is trying TO the
utmost to progress.
The reason for all this new life Of
China is education. Education Of the
modern type which she has found in 9TH
er countries-especially the education Of
her young women in America, where
woman plays an equal part with man
even TO the extent Of contributing and
shaping the policies Of the government.
Now that the women Of China have as
sumed position along side Of men in
home and social affairs. we expect to see
China advancing TO proper place among
the nations Of the world. In few years
the facts will be made evident
A few days ago, Europe's wealthiest
girl became the bride Of King Georges
nephew. Even the royalty is becoming
materialisticI
The Columbia evening Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1920-1923, 1922-07-22
McBdine

Fred Douglass was here shopping Fri.
day.
]. A. Cilpin was a Columbia visitor
Friday.
Jasper Cunningham was in Columbia
shopping Friday.
Mr.. and Mrs. W. A. Mellow were here
On business Thursday.
Mr.. and Mrs. Charles Shelnut were
shopping here Thursday.
John Dothage Of Easley was in Nc
Baine on business Thursday.
Mr.. and Mrs. C. o. Wiley have moved
on the Ben Williams farm south of Nc
Baine.
Mrs. r. L. Johnson of Columbia is the
guest Of her mother, Mrs. l. W. Ward,
this week.
Mrs. +. B. Williamson went to La Doe,
Mo-, Friday TO visit her mother, Mrs.
j. A. Turner.
Mrs. Lee Dennis, who has been seri-
ously i'll, is much better and is able to
be out once more.
Mrs. ]. S. Reed visited her parents, Mr..