davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1922-05-16
IMAGINARY ILLS

I often weep for Pink McGin, who lives next door but two; he thinks
he is extremely ILL., that shortly he'll be through, and sleeping idly on the hill,
beneath the sod and dew. H. talks for hours about his aches, in wearhome
despair; and yet l think his pains are fakes, a pipe dream and a snare, and he
could whip his weight in snakes and never sweat a hair. If he would cease
to grive and whine about imagined pains, and say, To-day I'm feeling fine,
blood would warm his veins. Old Pink McGil would be a peach if he'd
forget his Ills and cease to murmur and to reach for DR.. Fantods pills,
and fire the druggist and the Ieech who fill him up with squins. For he's a
man of many gifts. well vged in ancient lore, and wise to all the noble
shifts of bards and seers o. yore; but as h is h merely lifts a bottle from
the floor. oh, he could tell us splendid tales o lonely ships n seas, of
paving steeds and armored males whose banners rode the breeze, but as he is
he only walls Of pasms in his knees. He shows most indecent haste when
there's new dope to try; and he is taking pills that taste like hens nests in
July; and SO a good man goes to wase-and this is why 1 cry
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1922-05-16


A young man who practiceo osaisciCa
in Pennsylvania became fam nd
was called IL constellation a. many
towns and cities because oy I5s sce-
cess in the treatment Of l'zcGsc, TINS
was DIR. Pierce, Who Gaail. aajo Up
his mind to place some ot his ufadI-
cines before the public, and moving to
Buffalo, n. Y, put up WHAT he called
his "Favorite Prescription" and placed
it with the druggists in every state.
DIR. Pierce's Fayorite Prescription has
long been recognized as a tonic for
diseases peculiar to womanbind. After
suffering pain, feeling nervous, dizzy,
weak and dragged down by weak
nesses of her sex-a OEa IS quickly
restored to health by its use. Thou
sands of women testify that DR.. Pierce's
Favorite Prescription has entirely
eradicated their distressing ailments.
More recently that wonderful dis
covery of DR.. Pierce's, called An-uric
(for kidneys and backache), has been
successfully used by many thousands
who write DIR. Pierce of the benefits
received - that their backache, rheu-
matism, and other symptoms of uric
acid deposit. in joints or muscles have
been completely conquered by its use.
Send 10c to DR.. Pierce, Buffalo, Ny,
for trial pkg. of any of his remedies, or
write for free medical advice.
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1922-05-16
A Connecticut River Zephyr.
lGreenfeld Recnrderl

Lake Champlain has lost the wind
championship. A truckload of paper
boxes proceeding along a road near
Brattleboro the other day was seized by
a spring zephyr, blown off the road and
deposited on its side at the foot of a
steep bank. No mistake about this
either. a garage derrick was required
to get the auto back into the road again.
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1922-05-16

Fish stories are beginning to be heard
md one instance when the big one did
not get away was last week when a man
at Groton pulled out of Wells river a
trout measuring II inches and weighing
% pound and 10 ounces.
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1922-05-16

1t is going to be hard to make the
employer of inefficient help believe that
the worlds supply of ivory is becoming
exhausted as is claimed by one of the
federal bureaus.
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1922-05-16

One chewing gum concern declared a
dividend of $4,000 900 on its stock at
the close of its years business. Deal in
the necessities of life if you want to get
rich.
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1922-05-16

Every time The OH companies raise
the price of gasoline, the automobile
men raise their estimate of gas mileage,
which helps some.
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1922-05-16

1t begins to look dubious for the
dandelion wine makers-that is, if they
desire to keep to the letter of the law.
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1922-05-16

Some people seem to reckon all human
events b. V. and A. v, which is to say
before VOlstead and after Volstead.
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1922-05-16
Tea Table
Flour

The following guarantee appears
on every bag of Tea Table Flour.
This guarantee is backed up by the
Weber Flour Mills, and every
merchant who handles Tea Table
Flour is instructed to live up to
the letter of this guarantee.
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1922-05-16

Well, did the old straw hat look as
good when you got it out yesterday as
you thought it did when you laid it
away last fall?
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1922-05-16

Radio, like other forms of communi-
cation, is useful if you have something
to communicate.
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1922-05-16

The way the movies are being puri-
fed, eventually patrons may have to go
to church for thrills.
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1922-05-16

Seems as though we heard not Iona
ago something about the Stillman case
having a rest.
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1922-05-16
One Year Ago Today.

i mirage showing the Canadian shore
Of Lake Ontario was seen at Rochester,
y: Y, 90 miles away.
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1922-05-16

One nan says planting potatoes
wouldn't be such a strain on the nervous
system if you didn't find so many fish
worms.
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1922-05-16

The average value of farm lands and
Buildings in the United States has al
most doubled within the last 10 years.
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1922-05-16

Copyright by George Matthew Adam.
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1922-05-16
R.AETR0ND RATES.

TUESDAY. MAY TO. 1929.
The Lamar register., 1922-03-22

Getting out a newspaper is no pic
mic. If we print jokes folks say we
are silly; if we don't, they say we lave
no sense of humor. If we publish
original matter they say we lack
variety; if we publish things from
other papers they say we are too lazy
to write. If we don't go to church
we are heathens; if we do we are
hypocrites. If we stay in the office
we ought to be out rustling news; if
we are out rustling news we are not
attending to our business at the office.
If we wear old clothes we are not
solvent; if we wear new clothes they
are not paid for. What in thundera-
ton is a poor editor to do, anyhow =?
Like as not, some editor will say we
swiped this from an exchange. We
did.-Maryville (Mo) Democrat-For-
um.
The Lamar register., 1922-03-22
DON'T SWALLOW THEIR YOUNG
Popular Idea Concerning Snakes Is Not
Borne Out by the Observations
of Scientists.

Snakes don't swallow their young
The ventral scales on female snake
are controlled by muscle just behind
the head. Ordinarily they are hori.
zontal, but when the mother snake
scents danger she contracts the muscle
on the back Of her neck, which i'm
mediately brings the scales to yer.
tical position. This opens a slit
under the bottom jaw. and at the same
time loosens the abdominal skin. thus
forming a pouch. The younger ones
dart through the slit and into the
pouch, and this is what has led peo-
pie to think they take refuge in the
mother snakes stomach.
II requires careful and skilled dis
section to detect the pouch. because
the skin shrinks when snake "
killed. When the poison gland is re.
moved 1t tightens the skin under the
neck, and the youngsters can't get
into the pouch. In the female snake
between the pharynx and the guliet
there is a peculiar, lid-like valve,
and anything passing this valve cant
possibly return.
The Lamar register., 1922-03-22
REMINDER OF MIDDLE AGES
English Clergyman Likely viii Have
to Stand Trial on the Charge
Of Heresy.

Charges of heresy-with the possi-
bility that England will have an &c
clesiastical trial such as II has not
known since the Middle ages-have
been filed against the Rev. II. ID. A.
Major, principal of Iiipon hall. theo-
logical institute In oxford. by the Rev.
c. +. Douglas. Further action rests
with the bishop of oxford. with whom
the charges have been placed.
The action grew out Of an article
by the Rev. Mr.. Major. In which he
said that the resurrection OF Christ
was a spiritual but not a physical
happening. The Rev. Mr.. Douglas
charges him with publishing doctrine
contrary to the teachings of creeds
and Of holy scripture" and also "of
importing into the Christian religion
the teachings OF the eastern mystic,
Buddha."
The Rev. Mr.. Major holds no ben.
efice, so the case can not, be tried
through the bishops court. The pro-
cedure which must be followed is the
old procedure by inquisition." Under
this the bishop having received the
information appoints IAN inqulsition
of priests" to hear testimony.
The Rev. Mr.. Major, since the filing
OF the charges, has announced he will
defend his position
The Lamar register., 1922-03-22
"PIayfuI" Indeed!

In his book. "Flsshlights From the
Seven Seas" the Rev. william l.
stidger. OF Detroit. says the Battaks
of Sumatra have what he refers to
facetiously as Il playful" custom Of
getting rid of their old men. When a
man gets So old that they think 1t Is
about time for him to tell his last tale.
they put him up a coconut tree. Then
all the young bucks OF the village get
together and try to shake him down.
II he is too feeble to hold on. and
comes down, that Is sign Of Heaven
that his days are through. and they
proceed to cook and eat him.
The Lamar register., 1922-03-22
Predominance Our Middle Name.

A newspaper of Rome criticizes the
United States for non-participation in
the Genoa meeting, saving that "the
United States tries to make its own
political and financial interests pre-
dominant" If participation in the
Genoa conference would mean making
those interests subordinate to Europe
influence, the charge states the exact
truth. OF course America wants to
keep its interests predominant, which
it has a perfect right to do, being the
richest and most powerful nation in
the world. But our resources have
been extensively devoted to the rehab-
ilitation of Europe. The difference is
that they have been employed under
American, rather than European, di-
rection.
The Lamar register., 1922-03-22
The People Pay.

There is no way" says Secretary
Mellon, "by which the American tax
payer can avoid the burden" The
remark was part of letter to Chair
man Fordney Of the Ways and Means
Committee in which the Secretary of
the Treasury discussed the bonus bill
now pending in the House. Regard
less Of what bonus plan may finally
be worked out, the people ultimately
have got to put up the billions to pay
its obligations. That holds true
whether the soldiers get their money
from bond sales, adjusted service GER
tificates, receipts from the foreign
debt, miscellaneous taxes, or a sales
tax.
The Lamar register., 1922-03-22
Optimism is Justified by Facts and
Figures.

Progress toward returning prosper
ity is noticeable in the agricultural in
dustry. Prices on most farm products
show an upward tendency. Locally
our lamb feeders are on the right side
of the ledger. Generally there is an
improved tone in the livestock and
grain markets. The financial situa-
ton is brighter.
| saw an advertisement the other
day of Denver bank offering to lend
money on irrigated farms; seeking a
market for money. 1t shows that our
good farm lands are still the most
desirable security, in spite of hard
times and high taxes.
President Harding has just acknow-
ledged receipt of report from the
War Finance Corporation showing that
S17S, S,50O,0 900 has been loaned by that
agency to banks catering to farmers;
$5S, 300, 900 loaned to cooperative mar
keting associations; s37 500, 900 to as
sist in the expectation of farm pro-
ducts.
Optimism is based on substantial
grounds and we are justified in look
ing ahead toward better season for
the farmers of Charles A.
Lory, President Colorado Agricultural
College.
The Lamar register., 1922-03-22
NOTICE RON pUBLICATION.

~ IPII ,IIIvHt OI lHt IHtcfIOf.
u. 5. Land Office at Lamar, Colorado
February 20. 1879
- Notice is hereby given that Frank
Tatum. of Lamar. Colorado. Route H.
VINO, on March 81. 1917. made home
sen, Section 3. Township 25 south.
itange i5 West. 9Th Principal Meridian
mas illed notice Of Intention to make
claim to the land above described. be-
iore Register or Receiver. United States
Land Office. at Lamar. Colorado, on the
18th day OF April 1929.
Claimant names as witnesses:
+. W. Bean. Nose Kingston, John
Delphnich, Ollie Bert Rusmisel, all of
Lamar. Colorado. Route Il.
a L. BEAVERS.
Register.
First Pub. March l, 1929.
Last Pub. April 8. 1922.
The Lamar register., 1922-03-22
Jury List for April Term.

The following is the list of juror
drawn for the April term of distric
court to be convened on Tuesday, Apr
18th:
J. H. Larrick, Bristol.
G. X. Manka, Hartman.
T. NJ. Amerine, Holly.
ID. p. Douglass, Granada.
Geo. A. Everett, Lamar.
j. G. Wadsworth, Holly.
John O'Neill, Lamar.
A. c. Ellenberger, Wiley.
William Ausel, Cheney Center.
F. C. Millard, Lamar.
H. T. Randle, Hartman.
Jacob Rohrig, Holly.
A. C. HsTner, Granada.
j. Martin Ford, Lamar.
w. F. Cross, Lamar.
w. H. Brown, Wiley.
A. ]. Cline, Holly.
G. w. Sherman, Hartman.
C. A. Erickson, Amity.
V. Hendrickson, Bristol.
]. o. Record, Granada. -
C. o. Pattison, Bristol.
A. R. Jaecke, Plains.
J. o. Karrick, Lamar.
The Lamar register., 1922-03-22
Notice to Taxpayers

In an effort 10 cut down expenses,
it has been decided to try out in this
county the plan adopted by other
counties in the State for assessment
work this spring; viz, the assessor
will appoint a day on which he or his
deputy will meet the taxpayers at the
various school houses throughout the
county, where they can list their prop
erty with him, or send in their list
by neighbor if It is not possible for
him to be there in pedson. We are
trying out this method on all terri
tory South of the river, for, if the
plan works out successfully and the
assessment work can be handled in this
way, it will mean big saving yearly
of the taxpayers money. l believe.
too, this method will give more uni
form assessment, and, with he Coop
Grafton of the tao payers should work
out very satisfactorily.
A I DAVY
The Lamar register., 1922-03-22
Notice of Application to Lease state
Land.

Office of the State Board of Land
Commissioners. Denver. Colorado. Feb
ruary "a. 1929.
Notice is hereby given that Thos. IL.
Lee brokerage Company. whose post
office address is Stock Yards. Kansas
city, Missouri. has made application No.
B-31O0. to lease the following descrlb-
ed Internal Improvement Lands, situ-
ate In Prowers County. Colorado. to-
wit:
.. sis Of swA and swA of sEK OF
Sec. 80:
NJ OF NwA and NwL of NEk OF
Sec. 80. TWP. 22 s.. Range a. w. tAgri-
cultural applicationD.
Notice IL further hereby given that
all other persons desiring to file an
application TO lease all or any part OF
this tract of land must file same In
this office prior to March 2S. 1922. as
no other application to lease the above
described lands viii be considered after
said date.
GEORGE STEPHAN,
Register State Board Land Commrs.
First Pub. March I. 1922
Last Pub. March 22. 1929.
The Lamar register., 1922-03-22
Texas Bricklayers.

A New York paper complains that
down in Texas workmen lay 1900
bricks a day while in Northern States
they lay less than 500. Without spend
ing any time trying to ascertain the
reason for the difference, let's watch
whether the greater speed in Texas
hastens relief in the housing short
age.
The Lamar register., 1922-03-22
WASHINGTON NOTES
France Fed Up.

After trial lasting fourteen years
the French government is going out
of the railroad business. A specially
appointed commission is at work on
a plan to turn the roads back to priv
ate operation. Under government con-
troll the roads have been a steady drain
on the national treasury. French ex-
perience has been practically dupli-
cate of that in the United States.
The Lamar register., 1922-03-22
Additional Reason.

The British are much agitated over
the threatened American ship subsidy
program. They see in it the greatest
single menace to their own maritime
interests. Which is pretty good proof
of its effectiveness, and an additional
reason for its adoption by Congress.
The Lamar register., 1922-03-22
Her Eye on Her Number.

Combating the theory that Ameri-
cas- great industrial progress has been
due chiefly to richness of agricultural
resources, an eminent authority asserts
that Africa has greater agricultural
resources than North America. Now
we can understand why Great Britain
took pains to get control of practical
ly all of the African continent outside
the Sahara Desert. England was not
short-sighted when it came to getting
few assets to counter balance her
war liabilities.
The Lamar register., 1922-03-22
MONEY TO LOAN

We are now able to take care of
your farm loans. Drop in and see us
Taylor & Frick, Eli w. Gregg, Mgr.
The Lamar register., 1922-03-22

CREAM-Bought at Union Ice and
Storage near ice plant. Your can
steamed out clean and your check back
promptly.
The Lamar register., 1922-03-22
MONEY TO LOAN

We are now able to take care of
your farm loans. Drop in and see US.
Taylor & Frick, Eli w. Gregg, Mgr.
The Lamar register., 1922-03-22

Rubber stamps. C. A. Hansen, 112k
South Main. Call afternoons.
The Lamar register., 1922-03-22

Office door signs; enameled, brass.
Call and see sample. C. A. Hansen,
112lA So. Main. Any afternoon.
The Lamar register., 1922-03-22

Dubuque Times-Journal.-It would
be well for the Democratic national
chairman to carry a memorandum of
how he voted in Congress on some of
the big questions that came up be-
tween 1917 and 1921. If he did he
might make fewer rash statements.
The Lamar register., 1922-03-22

Because Senator Lodge opposed the
adoption of the League of Nations COW
enant as Wilson drew it, Cox likened
him to Aaron Burr. Cox overlooked
the fact that Senator Walsh, of Mas
sachusetts, Democrat, was also op-
posed to the league without reserva-
tions. We guess that in the coming
campaign Lodge won't lose any votes
because of his attitude on the league.
The Lamar register., 1922-03-22
A. ]. DAVY,

County Assessor
Pub. Mar. s-15-22s29, 1922.
The Morning Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Okla.) 1919-1927, 1922-10-06

wanted was to present a gift OF
honor, OF my own free will on its
triumphal army. to- my nation in
arms" my brave prussians. with
whom / had stood before the enemy.
ChanccllOr's Diplomatic Power.
one of the results of Bethmann'a
marked inclination toward control
was, that the secretary OF state for
foreign affairs was. under him, a
mere helper, so much so that the
foreign office was almost affiliated
with the office of the chancellor. a
state OF affairs that made itself felt
most especially I'm the use " the
press department. Bethmann ike
wise asserted hts independence de-
cidedly In his relations with me.
BasinE himself upon tho fact that.
constitutionally the chancellor alone
~ responsible for foreign policy, he
ruled as he pleased. The foreign
office was allowed 60 tell me only
what the chancellor wished. ~ that
IL happened sonnet lines that wasn not
informed concerning important oc-
currenccs.
The fact that this was possible is
to be laid nj the door of the con-
stltution OF the empire. And this iq
the right place for saying word
concerning the relations bctwccn
the emperor and the chancellor in
what follows do not refer to my re-
lationship to Herr Won Bcthm1nn.
but, quite impersonally 20 the dlrfi-
Culties in the relationship Of the
German emperor 10 the imperial
chancellors, which are caused by the
imperial constitution.
! wish to call attention 10 the fol-
lowing points;
1. According TO the constitution
OF the empire, the chancellor s. tho
director and representative OF the
foreign policy Of the empire, for
which he assumes full responsibility.
he has this policy carried out by
ihe foreign office, which ~ suborli-
mated to him, after he has reported
on It to the emperor.
?. The emperor has influence on
foreign policy only I'm 60 far as the
chancellor grants II 20 him.
z. The emperor can bring in his
influence to bear through discus
sions, information, suggestion. pro-
posals, reports and Impressions re-
ceiycd by him on his travels, which
then take rank as a supplement 20
tre political reports of the gmbns-
sadors or minister's 10 the countries
whicRhc has personally visited
4. The chancellor may act pursu-
ant 70 such action ty tho emperor,
and inay make II the basis Of his de-
cisions whenever he is in agreement
with the cmpcrors point OF view.
Otherwise he IS supposed to maln-
tain his own point of vieN and carry
1t out (kruger dispatch).
8. According to the constitution
the emperor has no means Of com
pollin" the chancellor or the foreign
The Morning Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Okla.) 1919-1927, 1922-10-06

lin. Brest- -Lltovsk, etc, and com.
pletely engaged my attention.
The Lusitania case. too, cast Its
shadow over events, and Italy sew
cred her alliance with us. SO II is
not TO be wondered at II the fran
chfse memorial was pushed into
tho background.
The next winter and the summer
or 1916, likewise, with their lighting
on all fronts, the terrible battle Of
the Somme, and the brilliant Ru-
mnnian autumn and winter cam
paign. took me to all sorts Of places
on the western and eastern fronts.
even as far as Nisch--w whore the
trst memorable meeting with the
bulgarian car took place---and to
Orsova. 40 that had no opportunity
20 take up the matter OF franchise
reform with the care that its i'm
.portance demanded.
IN the spring OF 1917 I asked the
chancellor to draw up an announce
ment OF the reform, to be made to
the nation at Easter, since assumed
that the ministers had long since dis
cusScd Il. The chancellor drew up
the text OF the proclamation at Ham
burg In agreement with the chief OF
cabinet ana myself: he proposed
that the method OF voting be left
open for the time being, since he
was not yet quite sure about this.
The Easter proclamation appeared:
Il was based. like previous treat
ments OF the matter, on the idea that
the reform was not to be introduced
until after the conclusion OF peace.
because most OF the voters were
away facing the enemy.
Party and press did what they
could 10 postpone the accomplish
mont OF my purpose by recrimina-
tiOns and strife. by bringing up the
question OF the Prussian reichstag
franchise. and by demand for the
Introduction OF the franchise bill
while the war was still in progress.
Thus tho question embarked upou
its wcll-known and not very ulcas-
ant course. which dragged Itself out
on account Of the interminable nego-
tiations In the landtag. II was not
until after the retirement OF Herr
Won Bethmann that learned
through Loebcll that the memorial
OF 1915 had never been submitted
TO the ministers but had laiu un-
touched for a year and a half in Il
desk drawer; that the chancellor.
influenced by the desires expressed
in tho country, had dropped tho
various systems proposed and con-
centrated upon the general (rcichs-
tag) franchise Of the eventual intro
duction of which he was, doubtless,
inwardly convinced.
In any event, tho original basic
idea was thoroughly bungled by
Bethmann's dilatoriness and the
s'~ifo "'-7orP tba ,,~~'fo- NVSa+