Cheraw chronicle. [volume] (Cheraw, S.C.) 1896-2005, 1922-06-08


as 1t was formulated and passed by the
house of represen. .atives. Figures Oc-
caSionally tell story. Seemingly
they do so in this case.
With more than two thousand
amendments proposed by the senate
Tor the house bill II Is easy enough to
understand why the debate OH the
measure is expected TO run along until
tired nature calls halt. Any stumper
who desires to discuss the tariff Dill
intelligently during the coming con-
greSsional campaign must SIT up late
nights and burn much oil in his stu
dents lamp.
The tariff measure Is formidable
looking document. Just how mucn OF
figure = e bill will cut In the COM
ing election nobody as yet knows. Vir-
tually every day the Congressional
Record gives some thirty-tive or forty
pages of print to the speeches made In
the senate on the day previous. The
tariff Is one thing apparently that
cannot De talked 10 uedtn.
Occasionally there Is some humor to
be found In the customs laws or In
their preparation, or In their enforce
ment or non-enforcement. During the
hearings in the finance committee OF
the senate on the Payne-Aldrich Dill
the provision of the measure affecting
chemicals was under consideration. A
New York man representing the manu-
facture Of cellulold in New Jersey was
on the stand. The committee was dis
cussing the question OF the duty on
things which enter into celluloid man.
ufacture.
Suddenly Senator Kern Of Indiana,
who since that day has died, turned to
the witness and said sternly but with
something of a CLINT In his eye. Are
you responsible for the celluloid col
larsT
"Yes, 1 invented them," replied the
witness.
"Well." said the senator, my
search Is over. I have been trying to
locate the responsibility for celluloid
collars for years."
John Wilkes Tariff Story.
John E. Wilkie of Chicago, one time
and for long time chief Of the Unit
ed States secret service, wrote a tariff
or a near tariff story some years ago
which, like Charles Reade's Hard
Cash." was q matter-of-fact tale. The
story fingers In the memory Of Wash
ingtonians.
A prominent American woman was
visiting In China. Just before she was
to set sail for the United States a
friend presented her with some spe-
cially grown Chinese tea, worth, 1t was
said, something like S25 pound. The
gift was received, and then the Amer
lean woman knew the beginning OF q
hard fight with conscience. She did
not want to pay tariff on the tea
when she took 1t into America and yet
she knew that to smuggle 1t In was
something like q crime. Taking the
tea she put 1t into small, separate
packages and hid 1t In various places
about her personal belongings.
On the way from China to Honolulu
where the vessel stopped the Amer
lean woman dreamed nightly Of men
In uniform boarding the ship at the
Hawaiian port, discovering the SNUG
gled article and Juggling her off to jail.
She slept more uneaslly than a
crowned king. She was wretched day
and night, but her determination held
to get that tea home without paying
the government anything.
Her Conscience Conquered.
From Honolulu to San Francisco
her conscience and her fears Jointly
kept her sleepless, but she hung on
grimly to the determination to get her
spoils In unobserved at any hazard.
Her baggage was examined at San
Francisco and apparently the customs
officer discovered nothing dutiable,
The danger over and with her tea
safely In her trunk and with no furth.
er fear of detection, the American
woman sped to Washington.
After arriving In the capital she
found that her conscience still
troubled her and that sleep was not
wooed as easily as in the days Of her
non-smuggling innocence. She invited
her friends to partake Of the delect.
able tea, but she had little gladness at
her five o'clocks.
Finall- conscience conquered her
and she went straight to the Treasury
department, to the proper official
thereof, and tearfully told him Of her
guilt. saying that she was willing to
pay the duty thrice over to get back
the innocence that once was Eers. In
her mind she reviewed the terrors OF
the voyage including the sleeplessness
Of her nights.
"How much duty shall pay on the
tear she asked. "And please don't
send me to jail"