The L'Anse sentinel., 1922-07-07
Comedy Divorce
in Arizona Town

suspect that John was holding some
thing out on her. He used to come
In late at night whistllng "The Sheik"
through his false teeth and refusing
to answer any questions,
Mrs. Oatman Immediately suspected
Starlight Ocatillo. light sorrel flap
per of the Yavapai tribe, who wore
hers rolled down.
Mrs. Oatman put mud on her hair.
She then began cutting down on the
menu. From then on she fed John
chile con carne and prunes, tortillas
and prunes, enchiladas and prunes,
frijoles and prunes and tamales-and
prunes. For variety she served
prunes.
John went out back of the house
one day and built u covered pit.
Working patiently, he got 1t filled with
ella monsters. lizards, vinagrones,
scorpions, tarantulas and rattlesnakes.
Estelle failed to fall into 1t, but this
was simply because she was stronger
than John.
The Last Straw.
John then moOdlly took TO eating
loco-weed Cheered by Its kindly
stimulation he dragged Estelle out Of
the shack one scorching hot after
noon, hoisted her to the top of
candelabra cactus % feet high and tied
her there among the thorns
Late in the evening neighbors liv-
ing two miles away heard her pro-
/ tests and cut her down; but Estelle
was now convinced that her husbands
affection for her was failing. She
hired Lawyer Lucas and went into
court.
John hired the other lawyer in Oat-
man-H. c. Topps, who used to be
jigger boss on the graveyard shift In
Death Valleys Funeral range. but
who now owns and operates rtnch
where he grows cactus splnes for pho
nograph needles. Attorney Tops at
once scored heavily by invoking an
old French law that provides for three
judges instead of one and getting two
friends of Johns on the bench.
The following jurors were selected: ::
Rattlesnake Charlie Dix, Shorthand
Dirty O'Connor, Hassayampa Kr,uss,
Cactus jasper (from Gila Monster
Center), Holy-Roller O'Itourke, Silver
Tongue Sam Bayless, Plug Hat
Shank, Hula Hula Kennedy. Painless
Hoag Doggy Newton. Chuckwall A.
Pugh and Gold Tooth Nellle-formerly
of the camp at Goldhelds and now
proprietress of Ye Olde Arts Shoppe.
Abduction Of Starlight.
When court convened there wasn't
an inch of standing room left. Mrs.
Oatman had nine of her children on
the benches the tenth was at home
listening to the radiophone.
The beautiful Starlight, named as
the woman in the case, was called
to the stand and charged with break
ing up the Oatman home.
) 81 was abducted" she said.
"When?" asked Lawyer Lucas.
"Once In July" said Starlight,
"Gnd several times last February and
March,
81 object" !" yelled Attorney Tops.
He was Overruled.
Estate concisely as possible the cir
cumstances of your abduction" said
Lawyer Lucas.
"Why," said Starlight, II swan the
Colorado river to have conference
with Oatman, and he abducted me.
The defendant was put on the stand.
"How much property are you worth,
John?" said Judge Zadock Sheffield.
The defendant admitted that he had
once owned mining claims, but had
traded them Off for a pair Of overalls
and a new straw hat, the claims sub
sequently produced $11,000000 In
gold. Pressed as to his present assets.
he asserted that he still owned the
overalls, but that his soreback pinto
cayuse had eaten the straw hat. The
only gold he possessed, he testified,
was what Painless Hoag had put into
his false teeth to make them look
natural.
!, John was sentenced to one months
work on the country highways, and
after that to take Job at painting
signs on the rocks along the road to
read; "where VIII You Spend Your
Eternity?'
The divorce application was dis
missed but as Estelle left the court
room she was presented with bou-
quet of marlposa lilies by the Ladies'
Literary club Of Oatman.
The jury was asked by Judge