Evening star., 1922-06-04
BY SEWELL FORD.

Y DON'T care how peeved Bill
Bryan gets about it, if he should
happen to-listen in on this. but
4 my bet is that Darwip had the
true dope, after all. We do trace
back to the chattering. hairy tribes
that paraded through prehistoric tree
tops holding onto each others tails.
For one of our strong points is that
we still like TO play yfollow-your-lead-
er. If you don't believe it, watch the
new summer styles spread from West
57th street. New York. to Skowhegan.
Me, Toms River. y. j.; La Jolla. Cal.
and Moose Jaw, B. c. Not only as
to slit sleeves and blou eS of peri
wInkle Blue, but as to soft collar
bands for young hicks and the width
of their straw hat brins.
Then take a fash at our little
bunch of serious tourists. shifting
plans for straightaway jump from
Florida to Broadway. and making "A
halfway stop. just because we'd been
tipped off that it was the smart thing
to do. OF course, they don't put you
in a cage for anything like that, but
1t could be submitted as Exhibit NJ if
the case ever came to srial.
NOT that we felt bit sheepish in
following the trail of what buddy
Scott had referred to as the best peo-
pie. Never a bleatf out of any of US.
Instead we were a bit chesty over it.
Lot sweller. amt it?" says Inez.
"Stoppin' off. eh?"
absolutely" says 1. Shows you're
not travelling on round-trip tickets.
for one thing; and that you don't care
how often Hortense packs and un-
packs"
"Hortense?" says Inez, gawping
around Who's she?"
She's past tense for some, present
tense for others. and future for u.s.
says l. Il was using Hortense as the
group or cluster name for ladies'
maids in general"
Huh" grunted Inez. What YOU
wanna talk so much for when it's hot
like this?"
And she was right. at that. For
when you're ambling up through the
middle of Florida early in May. coZily
steel car. you need to save most of
your breath to cool your disposition.
put in the next half hour invent
ing Pullman car that would be
uater-jacketed and have an air IN
take through the radiator. For WIN
ter use you could simply warm the
water l had added movie screen
to one end radio connections Tor
every seat. a tipless porter who dust
ed YOU with a vacuum brush. AND
was lust debating whether | should
ACCEPT royalty of so much year or
sting 'em for a lump sum when-Weil,
about then | must have dozed on TOT
when I reused up again we were
stopping al a station, and right oPpo-
site us gang of darkies was load
Ing car with watermelons
Summertime. eh?" remarks lnez.
nonpins her fair brow and smearins
a streak of soft-coal dust cutely
across her countenance-
1T has all the earmarks or that
season down here" l agrees
And il surely did. The paimStos
AND lone-leafed pines looked hot and
the little town we rolled through.
We were in midsummer, no matter
what the calendar said. We had oeeh
eating green corn. Florida peaches
Florida plums. and now here were
the watermelons.
CT guess it's hot in that Carolina
place. too" suggests 1nez-
"I don't see how it can heip IT,
says I.
THAT night as we pulled out OF
Jacksonville we had the porter
hide the heavy blankets and put the
electric fan on at full speed. ex-
,ac, IFS the refined and ladylike act.
too to complain that you never rest
we'll on a sleeper. | used to thlnk II
couldn't be done. and for the nrst
few times that | climbed into berth
I'd look forward to a night of toss
ing around. But I must have crude
streak in my makeup or else m
distantly related to the Pullman fam
iIy. Anyway, the one spot where m
sure of getting good eight or nine
hour snooze is when I'm buttoned IN
behind the green rep curtains
OF course, you can't tear off the
slunber in one continuous strip. the
way YOU can at home. / could II
they'd only keep the old train bowl
ing along. But they're not apt to do
that; anyway. not on these southern
lines. for they surely pull some queer
stuff at night with what is supposed
to be a through train. They make
stops that you can't dope out at all,
way off in the country at dinky little
stations or sometimes at no station
at all; for water, maybe, or at juno
tions.
It's the sudden stiffness that wakes
you up. after the steady rattle and
bang Of the wheels. And generally.
out there in the dark and often only
a few feet from your pillow, two per-
feet strangers will appear from some
where and proceed to get chatty with
each other. This time, at some point
in Georgia or South Carolina. they
stopped under my window, and one
man tried to sell the other second
hand fiivver.
Say, I've heard Lizzie owners get
enthusiastic over their flying wash
boilers before, but I never listened
to one who was so really eloquent
ABOUT his machine as this bird. Ac-
cording to him, that little car of his
could outpull and outrun anything
ever built to go on wheels. He was
right there with a record Of past per-