The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1922-07-29
SOUP BONE
BIZ PICK" SMITH.

ern Kansas; and how one day the
boss sent him out to look for a lost
dog: and how a stranger, when he
heard Roy's surname and what he was
after, roared: S'Sufferin' catfish! I've
often seen a dog alookin' for a bone.
but never till yet a bone a-lookin'
for a dogT"
The above yarn about halfway re-
called to me a narrowing tale Roy
once told me about his ranchlife days.
but something else sidetracked the
narrative before it staged a come
back. But when read of the Rotary
clubs show, 'Follies of 1922" at the
Grand and what g. killing Roy Bone
made as chef. that yarn of his all
came back to me as plain as poke
in the ribs.
Not SO very far from the ranch
above mentioned was a lake-when
it had water in it. A bunch of Wich-
ita sportsmen leased a strip of land
surrounding this low place for duck
shooting preserve, and built sort of
clubhouse a short distance back from
what they called 1.-The beach"
One Saturday afternoon, having re-
ceived a wire: Lake lousy with
ducks" half a dozen of these Wichita
sports, on their way from the nearest
railway town to the lake, with all
kinds of supplies along, stopped at
the ranch where Roy cavorted. on the
lookout for some one to cook for them
until the following Monday, as their
regular cook had missed the train and
could not possibly get there before
that time, there being no train on
that branch on Sunday. One of the
punchers tipped 1t off to the sports
that Bone was about the best he-cook
in that neck O. woods. so they tackled
him, offering him much mazuma, and
other inducements, to help them out;
and as he was not so awfully averse to
short change of scenery, company,
and refreshments, not to mention the
chance for garnering NQuite bit of
easy money, he climbed aboard and
went along.
At the clubhouse, while Roy and the
driver were getting everything inside,
the hunters changed toys, and were
soon racing for the blinds. The sup
plies inside, and a stirrup-cup disposed
of, the driver drove back to\town and
Roy began putting things away and
figuring on what to fix up for supper.
He decided, among other things, on a
kettle of hot soup And there were
RATS of other things, and he had time
a-plenty.
In one corner of the kitchen stood
a big, tall, pnplaned, implanted, pine
cupboard, on the top shelf of which
and bottled stuff. Standing on his
toes, as he showed a can toward a
back corner he heard something
"clink." Stepping upon an empty
box, he reached back, felt around a
bit. and brought forth the upper sec
ton of somebody's shiny, beautifully
constructed, pinkishbrown, set of
false teeth! With a shimmying shud-
der, Roy roared: What tn ---
and chucked them back
again.
) Later, while beginning to get sup
per. as he placed a kettle of canned
soup on the stove, Roy seemed struck
with a big idea! He hesitated, grinned
thumped his right leg, and
with an audible chuckle, actually
trotted- over 10 the cupboard and re
trieved those teeth! With a sickly
smile, he placed them in a small bowl.
poured in hot water, shaved in bit
Of soap, then with one of those dinky
little two-for-a- nickel scrubbrushes he
gave those teeth what he said he'd bet
was 1.-The best DANCED scrubbin' they
ever met up with" He then wiped
them dry, rolled them in paper and
dropped them in his pocket.
When the sports had all returned
and were cleaning up, seven seeming
Iy identical steaming bowls of soup
stood on the kitchen table, one of 'em
loaded" When Roy had all the grub
dished up, he hollered for a couple OF
the bunch to come out and help him
This drafted help soon had everything
but the soup, which Roy said was
not quite ready, on the table in the
pig room. He then sent in the soup
and, being good sport, paid no atten-
ion where the infested one landed
ost all track of it, in fact. The dude
Of the sports was still fixin' up when
he others became seated. The soup
was b'ilin' hot, and the feeders were I
ackling it quite gingerly-a little off
he top, some slipping, others stirring (
waiting for it to cool; and al the time
Roy was looking for something IT,
urn up" But nothing did, and find I
ng nothing in his own dish to ro1r
about, he had-so he told me-'a
sort o. sinking idea" that the tardy .
lite him, was due to draw the capital .
prize Several had by this time I
praised Roy's culinary accomplish /
nents, and even his opposite, who by j
his time had taken a cautious sip
,r two from the surface of his bowl, /
exclaimed: Gee, this is sure fine
oupI' Then. apparently to expedite
he cooling process, he began stirring
bit deeper, and deeper. till with an
xpression of horror he scooped up
md brought from the bottom of hi
,ottom of his bowl those perfectly
ovely, grinning teeth What Fa said
md how he said it, drew the immedi-
tie attention of everybody at that
able to him and his catch" which.
With his spoon and a CHASTITY shudder.
lie dropped on the table, and with
' h i m ering gulp-gag-sputterins
hic!" rushed for the door, with five
f his friends on his heels. each striv-
ng manfully to get there first!
Roy leisurely went on with his soup
s he awaited their return. They all /
anne back. handkerchiefs very much
n evidence and each looking sheep 4
shly-silly, just as Roy was finishing /
lis bowl. When the chap ahead saw
lin, he threw up his hands with,
Well, I'll be damned! You eating
hat soup, Bcne?' II
Sure" griHned Roy. Guess none Il
f you fellows ever bached a short
rass ranch, did y'?-to let a little II
hing like that disturb you
They soon took a settler" and, re- Il
lived, were soon again at the table
ackling the solids; al Roy chucklei II
eeply when he said: And when l
aid to them: Plenty more hot soup 4