Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1922-07-05
Jogging His Memory

logging his memory
1t was thrilling story that Me-
Gregor had to tell.
Il had abandoned all hope" he said.
GAS | sunk for the third time my
past life seemed to rise before me in a
series of grim, realistic pictures"
A murmur of sympathy rolled from
tn clips of listening friends; but just
as McGregorwas preparing to resume,
McTavish interrupted him sharply
and hopefully.
"And did you happen to notice." he
asked, "a picture of me lending you
a flyer in the autumn of 19l9."-The
Continent (Chicago)
Just to Be Sure
"You look skeptical, friend ?"
Il can hardly believe this oil stock
will make me rich in six months"
Brother, / scorn to exaggerate.
Wen extend the limit thirty days"
4 n n X
'Do you claim to know all about A.
nance?"
mo-, admitted Farmer Corntassel.
I'm free to confess some of US farm
ers who talk about finance don't know
any more about the subject than some
o fthe financiers who talk about farm
ing."-Washington Star.
Puncturing Her Pride
Madge (haughtily)-"I went to the
theatre four nights last week and had
"a different escort each time"
Edith-"You should be more care
full, my dear. Everybody's saying
that you can't get the same man to go
with you twice. Boston Transcript.
y 4 4 y
One Thing He Knew
The immigrant had to fill up his
usual form. The first question was
'born?" Unhesitatingly he wrote
down: Eyes"
4 4 4
Circumstantial Only
On the complaint of a farmer, old
Ephriam had been hailed into court
charged with chicken shooting. His
lawyer had made a fairly good case
for him and for clincher had the
plaintiff recalled, hoping to make him
contradict his own testimony.
''See here, ''he said, scowling savage
ly, "will you swear that it was Ephri-
am who shot your chicken?'
"Wal," said the farmer mildly, 81
won't swear to it, but / suspect him."
That's not enough to convict a
man. What makes you suspect him 2"
oval, saw him in the chicken yard
with gun, then | htard the gun go
off, and then l saw him putting the
chicken into bag-and it didn't some
how sem sensible to figger the bird
committed suicide"
\ ~ n X
Within An Inch
Pat was the man who did all the
odd jobs about the place, and, owing
to petty thieving, his employer in
structed him to get good yard dog.
Pat was out all day and in the even
ing landed home with dachshund.
what on earth have you brought
along, PATTI" queried his employer.
"Well, sir" said Pat, "he's the near
est could get to yard; he's two feet
elivin inches long"
The Wandering Sheep
The pastor driving to church, to
passer-by)-"Where are You going,
John?"
John-"To church in the next par
ish."
Pastor-'I don't like that. What
would you say if your sheep strayed
to some one else's property?"
John-"Well, star as that goes, I
wouldn't say nothin' if the pasturage
was better"
n n \ n
Made 1t Worse
Aphilanthropic woman visited an
asylum not long ago and displayed
great interest in the inmates. One
old man particularly gained her COM
passion. sand how long have you
been here my MANI" she inquired.
Twelve years." was the answer.
do they treat you well?"
"Yes."
After addressing a few more ques-
tions to him the visitor passed on.
She noticed a smile broadening on the
face of her attendant, and on asking
the cause, heard with CONSERVATION
that the old man was none other than
the medical superintendent. She hur-
ried back to make apologies. How
successful she was may be gathered
from these words: II am sorry, doc
tor, 1 will never be governed by APP
pearances again"
Our Postwar Forest
Great family trees in America are
few, but it is probable that many new
ones were started during the war by
grating.
A Contingent Worker
"Ah wants a day off boss, to look
for job faw nah WIFE"
"And-if she doesn't get it,"
an be back tomorrow"
origin Of STRUT"
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