davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Arizona republican., 1922-03-25
DENVER

DENVER, Mar. 24-CATTLE-Re- :
ceipts, 900; steady; beef steers. $3.50
@7.75; cows and heifers, $5.0O@7.l9i
calves, $S.00@l0.75; bulls. $2.5O44.oO;
stockers and feeders, $6.25GT.25.
Receipts, 200; 10 to 15c
higher; top, 5000: bulk. s9.75@10.2S.
SHEEP-Receipts, 500; market
steady: lambs. 13.25@14.75; wethers,
s9.75G10.25; ewes, $s.00G9.50.
Arizona republican., 1922-03-25
BAPTIST Church


ers in the Christian church.
Baptist Church
Bible school each Sunday morning
at 9:45. Morning worship at 10: so.
Pastor breaches both morning and
evening. DIR. Burton of Phoenix will
bring a vital message to us during
part of the morning hour of worship,
Junior f. Y. p. U. Sunday afternoon
! at O'Clock, conducted by Mrs. Walk
er Trimble. 3. y. p. II. Sunday even
ing at 6: 45 Tuesday evening, March
2S, there Will be meeting Of the men
Of the church at the church. Music
| and refreshments All the men of the
church invited. r. M. Lands, pastor.
Win Preach at kyrene
| DR.. H. p. Tor will preach at the
Kyrene school Sunday morning at II
o'clock. A good attendance is de-
sired
Congregational Church
! Bible school at 10 o'clock. with
graded courses for all. Morning
worship at II, with sermon by the
pastor on THE New Commandment"
! Evening service at 1880, bringing the
! third of the talks on Christian fun
! damentals: "Christianity as q Pro-
gram Of Life" Questions are well
Methodist Church
The Wednesday Lenten classes at
the Methodist church are learning
the books of the Bible and some other
facts in a contest for prize to be
/ given by the pastor to the primary
and the junior who can repeat all the
/ books Of the Bible.
Dr. Burton. representing the Vol
unteers Of America, will have 10 min
utes at the evening service to repre-
sent his work DR. Burton comes
highly recommended as a speaker and
| a man
sunday morning is the preparatory
service for communion, which comes
Arizona republican., 1922-03-25

NEW YORK. Mar. 24-Bar silver,
foreign, 65; copper. easier: electro
lytic spot and nearby, 12B Q1S; later
13G13is.
The Washington times., 1922-11-12

"He claims to be very wicked
and says he does not suppose he
will ever amount to much be-
cause he is such rounder.
Nero was an old pussy cat COM
pared to him. He is sporty be-
cause he is so lonesome and will
I help spend some Of his money
by taking dinner with him. Well,
of course there is nothing partic-
ularly new about that. He could
never get on the big time with
that gag.
"'Mr. Pink I says, Z want
you to understand that I am a
perfect lady, Mr.. Pink
"'Oh, certainly he says, CIV
ing me a three-minute Valentino
absolutely perfect, would
know how to behave myself
"'Well, that's a blessing Mr..
Pink I says, because, you
understand, Mr.. Pink, because I
do all my holding hands right
here in the barber shop, Mr..
Pink. l have went out to din
ner with quite a lot Of lonesome
gentlemen and l have been dis
couraged sometimes. They get
over being lonesome just as soon
as they get into taxicab.'
Well, you will not have that
trouble with me- he says.
"Tt's only a short walk he
says and of course | imagine we
are going to saunter over to Dcl's
or at least the Palais Royale. It
Is not much of a lonesome
customer who will do less, If I
do say IL.
"What he means to say is that
1t is only a short walk to the
subway. Well, when i come to,
that puddle jumper has herded
me into a dark corner behind q
sputtering candle in one Of them
Greenwich Village feed barns
where they wind their dinner
around a fork and have a couple
of picked minnows and a piece
of game cock on the side.
"'This is a tough joint says
my spendthrift escort. 1T is the
wickedest joint I have ever been
in. But they are Bohemians and
they probably won't hurt you. I
thought it might give you thrill.
"Tt does,' I reply. The price
on top Of this bill-of-fare, Reg
ular Dinner 45 cents, gives me
the thrill of lifetime
"'Do you see that tall dark
man leaning over the pianol' he
asks.
The Washington times., 1922-11-12
Maize the Manicure
I'M Skhu.

"T can't see this place at all
I reply.
"Well, he's Djublik Sadjorn-
ski, the famous Herzegovinian
poet. They say he is laboring
under a secret sorrow
"'Our barber shop could do
him a lot of good l reply.
Maybe this place is too
devilish for you. Maybe you'd
rather CO.
Maybe I would I reply.
And so we 60 out Of there and It
is raining and l have paid 50 for
this s4S Paris hat and SO ! hail
a taxicab and climb in and /
bid this Pierrepont Morgan good
night.
Where are you going, %
early?' he asks.
"T am going to get something
to eat l reply. After that l am
going to go home and have .
good cry You have deceived
me. You are too devilish for me.
Good night and shut the door
and that's that.
"Well, the very next night, ]
try out another experiment. !
60 out with a regular spendthrift
"a regular. When it comes to
scattering the berries, he is the
cats meouw.
eve take cab and go to the
best restaurant In this town and
when we are going in he buys
me about So worth of flowers.
81 am sitting very pretty with
this person after eating $3S
worth of food when he finds out
suddenly that his check has not
come from home and he Is clean
er than, a hospital therrhometer.
So he gets throwed out Of this
place, right in front Of all the
people and I feel like q counter
felt German mark. I get away
by giving my name and address.
That's what I got for going to
dinner with a regular guy. I
do get discouraged sometimes.
haven't had a bite since lunch"
"Well, Maize, will you 60 out
to dinner with me-now?"
"Why, of all thingsl OF
course not. Go with you nowf
How dare you. am a peri
Pm off that stuff"
81 Know, but why cant
you
"You know perfectly well I
can't go--until the shop clossA
Ill be ready In twenty minutsa.s
The Washington times., 1922-11-12
Failures of an Optinist

HAVE failed lose the friendship of to whom
i have loaned money.
peanuts out of vending
machin" have tried
visited many restaurants search of overcoat
watching them closely this
iont Believe they will get leadpenc sharpener
will sharpen the pencil without breaking the lead
have twenty years to friendly footing with
garlic salad o please my wife, but have given up.
don't how guys to drive automobiles and
salary and have Quit trying to find out.
tried to be gentleman in the subway and believe
Chesterfield had tried It, he would have lost his
tation.
told there "queer neghbohoods" in the city
searched for them long and diligently still
searching.
have heard that most actors the of the stage
they stage and find, alas, 1t only too true.
wife about forty of those cheap
printed and the have not saved amounts
quite lot.
have made wife present Of sixteen lady watches her
birthdays and not Of them has kept time.
coDyrlxbL isaa By Star
The Washington times., 1922-11-12

that got out OF my chair
- just before you got in ?"
mot particularly"
"Well, he's the weasel's whine,
believe me. He comes In here
every once in awhile to get fixed
up. He works in a bank so he
has to come to me. He's the
worlds champ flat-wheeler and if
he don't make old Scrooge'
look like Coal Oil Johnnie I'm
a screen star and not a man.
icure."
whats the matter with him ?"
That's what I'd like to figure
out. It must be something ter
rible. That bird can save more
in a day than the Count of Monte
Cristo could spend in a month.
You know we meet a lot of
funny people in this profession. "
$50 | should imagine.
"You don't have to imagine
anything about 1t. It's a fact.
This bird, for instance. You
couldn't get a dime away from
him with q pair of forceps and
yet he claims to be q rounder-
gay bird. Laugh that of.
"This guys name is Pink
Montague Pink, and that amt
the funniest thing about him,
either. He comes from some
flag-stop out West by the name of
Onionville or Unionburg and he
does not come in here more than
a couple Of times before he lets
the squawk that he Is very lone
some and he gets to giving me
the fade-out - them mushy
glances that don't mean nothing
with a square guy but q walk
over to Tiffany's.
"Well, in this business, we
meet up with a lot of them lone
some lobs. You'd be surprised
how lonesome a lot Of goops get
as soon as they look at a man
icure. But l am sort of a tender
hearted weakfsh, anyhow, and
besides that, ! didn't see any
harm in putting the old acid test
on this guy, and so ! let him get
away with It until l can gumshoe
around a bit and Sherlock the
situation.
"Well, he turns out to be .
bank clerk all right and he has
given his home town name and
he is worth about ninety-fve or
a hundred grand which his pa
leaves him and he is here to get
hep TO the bank game.
The Washington times., 1922-11-12

"Oh, yes, of course. She
claimed her employer stole these
but, although he claimed he put
most of them back, the jury
found against him. The jury
awarded the young lady $40
damages, leaving off three
ciphers. Juries are sometimes
absent minded and leave off
few ciphers here ard there where
they would do the most good, If
used.
at would be- very difficult to
list kisses on the Stock Exchange,
but that Is what must be done
eventually If these damage cases
keep coming up before juries.
There must be some standard.
If the Oklahoma stenographer's
kisses and the New England
school teachers kisses should be
thrown on the Stock Exchange
the same day, with such a vast
difference in valuation, one can
only guess at the fortunes that
would be lost and made.
T am reading that In the re-
spectacle borough Of Brooklyn,
where the main products are
kisses and baby cabs, an actress
the other day got $4,000 from
a rich man for kisses, which she
declared, totalled one billion. 1t
seems perfectly apparent that
the young lady had provided her
self with an adding machine and
The Washington times., 1922-11-12
Quincy Todd on Oscillation

punched a button whenever
kissed, but it would seem as
though it might remove the
romance from a smack to have
the lady reach over and punch
an adding machine every time.
It ought to put the average guy
wise to what was going on, but
the trouble is that when a feller
gets to kissing an actress he is
not wise.
"When one is a wholesaler in
commodities like that, however,
modern business methods are
essential. The average young
lady who is in the osculation
trade will find an adding machine
absolutely necessary.
"For q good many years the
courts have been trying to de-
eide on the value Of these So
called love tokens that are
handed around and filched
promiscuously by one and all who
are interested in such endeavors.
But the courts have never been
able to arrive at a fair average.
"Juries have been notoriously
prone to take into consideration
an element which should not be
regarded and that Is pulchritude."
81 suppose" says Elias O..
Higginbotham, "thst pulchritude
means being fat"
"You are at liberty to sup
The Washington times., 1922-11-12
By Roy K. Moulton

pose whatever you please" says
Quincy, land so long as you are
always wrong in your supposi-
tiors, you will do nobody any
harm. It is the feller who is
right once in a while who is
public menace. Pulchritude, my
dear sir, does not mean being
fat. Far from it. You never
hear of any fat guy suffering
from pulchritude and, as for the
ladies, that remark goes double.
"Pulchritude means being easy
to look at and 1t does beat all
how many of these kissers that
get into court are built that way.
"Juries have been accustomed
to considering the personality Of
the kissee as she appears on the
witness stand. Efficiency experts
may appear before this jury or
any other and explain, with
figures, that one woman works
Just as hard as another when
passing one of these smacks over
the plate, but it makes no diff
ference. When a beautiful
woman puts over a kiss, every
body In the bleachers rises and
howls and throws his hat in the
air and yells: 'Giltedged stuff.
They will let homely woman
smack away for years and will
not think that her work is worth
a plugged ruble.
$50 the thing has got to be
stabilized. The only way to do
It Is to list them on the Stock
Exchange, as | say before, and
let the Stock Exchange shimmy
itself foolish trying to establish
par value Of the commodity
offered"
Somebody would have a cor
ner on 'em in two weeks" says
Elias @. Higginbotham.
Nobody is rich enough for
that" says Quincy. A good many
Wall street boys have tried to
get a corner on one chorus girls
kisses and have failed"
"well, anyhow" says Elias @.
Higginbotham, 81 see a scientist
up in Harvard has said that
kisses are poisonous and there is
a movement on foot to have
them abolished by an amendment
to the constitution"
Tf they do that" says Qincy,
"inside of two weeks the country
will be flooded with an inferior
brand Of bootleg kisses and the
value will 60 up about 700 per
cent"
-. r-s..- na-Aa- 49,.
The Washington times., 1922-11-12
IT SEE by the papers, says
Elias @. Higginbotham,

ut SEC Dy the papers, Says
WI Elias @. Higginbotham,
= "that the price of kisses
is going up. A school teacher
in New England has, hauled off
and sued a rich manufacturer for
s180,000 for three kisses which
she claims he feloniously and
with malice aforethought, went
and took and stole. I am won
dering whether she will get it."
"Is she good looking?" asks
Quincy Todd.
"She looks good in the pic
ture."
"Then she will get It. But,
Of course she is good looking.
You never see no homely lady
asking a jury for damages on
account of being kissed, for two
reasons. One is that they prob
ably would not be kissed, and
the other is that probably they
would not get no damages from
a jury if they was. For some
reason or other, kissing homely
woman amt so much of q crime
in the eyes Of the average jury
as kissing a beautiful one."
"But," says Elias @. Higgin-
botham, "$1s0,000 Is . lot Of
jack for three kisses, seems like.
That is about 100000 per kiss
and have not yet lived long
enough to see any smack which
looks like 100000 to me-"
"Well," says Quincy, 81 have
found, after reading of these
kiss cases in court for the past
thirty years, that it is purity hard
to establish a standard value for
them things. You think this
New England school teacher asks
a lot for her product and, Just
to show there is no standard OF
value on them things, am read
ing in the paper only yesterday
where q stenographer out in
Oklahoma, and, by the way, it is
the first time have ever known
that Oklahoma Is so tame II has
stenographers--well, this stenog-
rapher out In Oklahoma. she
hauls of and sues her employer
for $4,000 damages. She says he
has stole 81, 900, 900 kisses from
her in the past few years and she
places a value Of $4,000 on
same. How much is that per
kiss 2"
"About one-tenth of one per
cent" says Elias @. Higgin-
botham. "Was she q good look
er, tooi"
The Washington times., 1922-11-12

THE only thing fiivver
can't do is get its tail over
- the lines.
For every girl who jumps out
Of an automobile at midnight, at
least ten ought to-but don't.
The girl who lies about her
age when she marries for money
is simply taking advantage Of
the cash discount.
A movie actress of spirit is
one who does her own shooting,
instead of hiring it done.
Picnics are seldom successful,
owing to the fact that the potato
chip donators outnumber the
fried chicken donators about ten
to one.
A man never realizes how
many girls have clogged pores
until he starts reading the health
and beauty columns.
The man who can look pleasant
when a mustard plaster is being
pried off his back must have
wings sprouting underneath 1t.
Many an actor 10 tried and
found ranting.
A man 10 a fool to tell his wife
everything. Let her have the
pleasure Of finding 1t out for
herself.
A wife who Is never deceived
by her husband is the one who
can always tell when he's lying.
Gas midnight approached, the
party waved Mary" Sounds like
. rough party.
II drinking interferes with
your work, why not tell the boss
where you get it7
A married woman who won't
take her husbands name isn't so
unselfish when 1t comes to his
salary.
Statistics show that seven
tenths of the people have learned
how to drive automobiles, but the
other three-tenths have not yet
learned how to dodge them.
Gabe D'Annunzio, the poet,
wants to be sainted. II he were,
it would be just his luck to have
them name a town like st. Louis
after him.
The Washington times., 1922-11-12

/ saw today a woman walk
right up to a theater box-office,
lay down her money, take the
ticket the man gave her and
walk right into the theater with
out a word Of argument or ques-
ton. This has never been done
before, by a woman.
J. QUINTOX.
The Washington times., 1922-11-12

Today I observed five work.
ing girls evidently going to lunch
together and one Of them, by
some miracle, did not wear silk
stockings.
ARRABY CORA.
The Washington times., 1922-11-12

I saw a man in the subway get
up and give his seat to a homely
woman. The train had just
reached his station.
MISS PANSY TIBBITS.
The Washington times., 1922-11-12
MISS ONYX BUTTON.

l saw three men standing on a
corner and they were all broke.
Two of them were married and
the other was a poet.
H. w. DINGLEDORFER, JR.
The Washington times., 1922-11-12
J. QUINTOx.

Today while strolling along a
cross-street l saw a man throw
away his cigar before getting in
to a taxicab with a lady. If that
doesn't get the rubber stove-lid,
what will?
The Washington times., 1922-11-12

While passing down Fifth av-
snue today / saw a young gent
and young lady sitting in the
same seat on top of a bus and
he did not have his arm around
her shoulders. Maybe they were
relatives or maybe married.
OLIVE GREEN.
The Washington times., 1922-11-12
What | Saw
Today

(Fir.t Prize: Solid India Rubber
Stove Lido
TODAY | saw an actor stand
ing on a corner and he
L was not posing. Hand me
the honorarium.
MISS ROSE BUSH.
I saw a Ford sedan today up
on which no attempt had been
made to disguise it as a Rolls
Royce. Can you beat that?
ABE GINSBURG.
The Washington times., 1922-11-12
Cogitations
of a Cuckoo

THE only thing a flivver
can't do is get its tail over
the lines.
The Washington times., 1922-11-12

Gabe D'Annunzio, the poet,
wants to be sainted. II he were,
it would be just his luck to have
them name a town like st. Louis
after him.
The Washington times., 1922-11-12

notice the WOW
~ that got out of my chair
just before you got in?"
The Washington times., 1922-11-12

Statistics show that seven
tenths Of the people have learned
how to drive automobiles, but the
other three-tenths have not yet
learned how to dodge them.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-09-08
Martin Addresses
Real Estate Board
On Power Problem,

Thomas w. Martin, president of the
Alabama Power company, was the
principal speaker at the luncheon
meeting of the Birmingham Real
Estate Mems exchange yesterday.
President J. J. Tucker presided.
Mr.. Martin stated that "a COM
munity can grow no faster than its
public utilities, the extension of it's
water, electric lights and gas" The
speaker told of the part the Ala
bama Power company had played in
this district, having supplied all OF
the power used by the Birmingham
Railway, Light and Power company
forSthe past eight years, and that
now the demand had doubled but had
doubled but had been supplied with
out interruption.
He told of the problems which had
been worked out by the power COM
pany, dealing especially with those
pertaining to the purchases of real
estate. and gave many interesting
examples. In conclusion. Mr. Martin
told of the enormous piece of con-
struction work which was being done
at Mitchell Dam, costing between
81, 900, 900 and s10,000.000, and extend
ed the members of the Real Estate
exchange an invitation to visit the
plant.
The suggestion offered by State
Fire Marshal w. ]. Williams that
all houses two stories high and more,
including office buildings, have fire
escapes placed on the outside, wheth-
er the buildings be fire proof or
non-fire proof on the inside, was re-
ferred to the legislative committee. of
which George w. Yancey, Is chair
man.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-09-08
NEGRO TO HANG
FOR MURDER TODAY
Studemyer to Hang AT Noon
Unless Governor Interferes.
Twice Reprieved

Charlie Studemyer. negro, SEN
fenced to hang for the murder OF
James Mcdowell. at the Chero-Cola
plant in the spring of 1920, will be
hanged today at the county Jail be-
tween II and IL o'clock, provided
Governor Thomas E. Kilby does not
Intervene for the third time. Sheriff
Hartsfield has made all preparations
for the hanging.
Governor Kilby granted three
weeks reprieve to Studemyer when
he was sentenced to hang on July
81, stating that further investiga-
ton was being made. At the expira-
ton of this time, Studemyer was
again granted a three weeks re-
prieve by the governor.
Since the second respite was
granted three weeks ago, much in
terest has been taken in the case, and
a number of petitions. bearing the
names of approximately 1000 names
have been sent to the governor, re-
uuesting that the sentence OF the
court be not set aside.
Following the shooting of McDow
ell, Studemyer escaped, and was fu-
gitive from justice f1r nearly year,
when he was finally apprehended in
Cincinnati, through the efforts of
w. L. Brannon, chief of the police
bureau of Identification, and Sergt
Eddie Lyons. He was returned here
and tried in the criminal court and
the death penalty imposed by the
{ury
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-09-08
MOSS HEARING TO
Be HELD TODAY
Declares Shot Which Resulted
In Death of Mrs. Mccoy
Was Accidental

An Investigation into the death of
Mrs. Lena Mccoy. age 90, who was
shot and fatally wounded Wednes-
day night by c. B. Moss at tho Wad
dell house. 1861 First avenue, north,
will be held this morning at 0 o'clock
In the office of Coroner ]. d. Rus
sum
Moss, who surrendered to officers
Immediately after the shooting, made
the following statement yesterday
afternoon, according to Coroner Rus
sum. I'VE were sitting in Mrs, Mo-
Coy's room ct the Wodden house
when something was said about a
gun, and L showed her my gun. 81
Colts automatic. I unloaded the gun.
showing her how It worked and then
replaced the cartridges in the cham
bers of the weapon. I was holding
the gun in my hand when J. H.
Smith, q roomer at tho Waddeli
house, came in and wo started out
of the room. I had started to my
own room to put the gun M. when in
some way I had forgotten to replace
the safety device on tho weapon. and
1t went off. do not know how the
gun happened to discharge
Moss Is being held In the county
Jail pending the investigation. He
is a widower, according to police. and
has been living at the Waddeil house
for q year.
Mrs. Mccoy Ia survived by her hua-
band. w. s. Mccoy; her mother, Mrs.
Richardson and two sisters OF Bes-
semer.
The body Of Mrs. Mccoy - bssng
held at the Lige 10y undertaking es-
tablishnent, pending funeral ar
rap gements.