davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1922-10-17
WAYSIDE WISDOM
A Ballade of Mystifying Packers
Downright. l92:D
BY S. E. kiSer


The packers are not making any money.
One of Them.
TTNHE packers, bless their souls. declare
i Once more that packing doesn't pay;
They have no dividends to share,
They cannot make ends meet. they say;
Deprived of cash TO salt away.
Their outlook. we are told, is black:
Will some one who has time, some day,
Please tell us why the packers pack:
THE darling sportsman ventures where
i There may be hungry beasts OF prey,
But there's a thrill in hunting there
That is if one is armed to slay:
Lambs flock to Wall Street s1iil, but
they
Expect to bring the bacon back;
Some men must work and some may
Please tell us why the packers pack?
THE poet rids himself of care
L BY grinding out Il tuneful lay:
The preacher goes through hide and hair
While sknning those who get too gay;
The solemn banker. come what may,
Provides cold storage for his jack:
The sailor still steers, yea or nay;
Please tell us why the packers pach?
L'ENNOI.
FUDGE, on yo"r chops the hnW rs gray,
You may hare risdom that 1Cc lack.
II so, dclirCr and conrCu:
Please tell us why the packers pack?
The Washington times., 1922-10-17
Battle of the StOrks

4 NEWS item the other day con-
"a tanned the statement that a
flock of storks estimated to
number three hundred thousand
had invaded the town of Oevnhau-
sen in Germany. From ten to
twelve of the birds were roostinc
nightly on the roof of each house
in the town.
This is an incident which NAV
be taken symbolically. The storks
in fairy tales are supposed to bring
babies to families.
We may, therefore, make the
statement that the country that is
most visited by storks is going to
be the one that shall excel in the
competition of nations in the long
run.
Or, to state the case witEout
poetry, the real battle between the
nations of the world for supremacy
is not waged by battleships, armies
and gunpowder, nor by gold nor
commerce nor craftsmanship. The
real contest in the eyes of DESTINY
Is one of fecundity.
mat race will excel and dominate
"hich can outpopulate its rivals.
Tins being the case, that race
which is the most temperate, the
most moral and the least given to
wasting excesses of the life force
will prevail
The Washington times., 1922-10-17
We TOWNE GOSSIP
- Copyright lozz hy Jtsr Conpsay
BY X. C.. B.

Dear X. C. B.-What would you do with a
boy who has no respect whatever for his
father and pays no attention whatever to any
thing he says? l have such a boy. sixteen
years Of age, and although he really is not a
bad boy. he is a constant worry because Of his
conduct toward me. I know you have no
children Of your own. but you frequently write
about boys and girls and perhaps you can help
me. VIII you try! WILLIAM H. l..
The Washington times., 1922-10-17
Giant Glacial
Canyon Visited
Ry Eduor ark in
Copyright. 1922. by Star Compsr'
igar l.. Larkin-
Director Lone Observatory.

Director Lone Observatory.
Ar the close OF the highly
"A successful session OF the
American Association for the
Advancement of Science. Salt
Lake city came up to the doors
Of the University of Utah with a
long train of automobiles. Upon
getting clear of the city a view
burst on the vision OF intense
scientific interest. grandeur and
magnifiCcnCc.
Ep and upward wound the au-
tOmObllCs to the second ancient
beach. A halt was made and lee.
lures delivered. The first beach.
long line of the hCrCulean walls
of the WdSatCh range. was point.
ed out. An untold number OF
thousands of years ago this line
was the first beach of fresh
water sea having an area of 49,
900 square miles. We were stand
ing on a worn beach, 3S5 feet he.
low III" first.
The Washington times., 1922-10-17
Let Europe
Help Herself

IF Europe wants the help of the
United States as much as she
says she does, it is time for her
to show that she can help herself.
The curse of Europe today is
the continuous hate and suspicion
between France and Germany, the
jealousy and friction between
France and England, the disorder
of Russia, the cantankerousness of
the Balkan States and the general
inability of all the nations over
there to forget their quarrels and
get down to business.
just how America can help them
to do that, unless they show dis
position to do it themselves, it is
hard to see.
And it is not a mere matter of
budgets and economic troubles.
The invasion of the Turk and the
continuous horror in Russia are
proof that the Old Order which
these nations refuse to change
means loss of life as we'll as of
property.
Let them get together with
themselves and we shall be more
ready to receive the proposition
that we get together with them.
The Washington times., 1922-10-17
SAP and SALT
-By Bert Moses

Copyright. 1922. by Premier Syndicate, 1nc)
New things are not always improvements.
The things that you want most are not for
sale.
Good government comes only from choosing
good men to run it.
The only way to know n thing is to bump
into ii, and let it bump into you.
There appears to be more Of everything all
the time except an inclination to work for a
living.
Nature seems TO conspire with railroads by
placing her wonders away off where it costs
wad OF money to go and see them.
The man who carries a dinner bucket is
more ot protection to tho country than Il
man who carries a gun.
He1 Heck says: Its hard enough To git
along with wimmin, let alone tryn' to un.
derstand en-"
The Washington times., 1922-10-17
MY DEAR Bill.

MY DEAR Bill.
I'VE FossssO around
IN MY older days.
.
WITH A lot of boys.
OF slx1esN years.
OR T4eRsAsovrs.
AND ! don't recall.
A SINGLE one.
WHOSE DEEP
respect.
DIDN'T earn.
AND THIS I say.
DESPITE THE fact.
YOU'LL THINK I
brag.
AND PERHAPS l do.
BUT ! don't care.
FOR IT is true.
AND ! believe.
THAT Any man.
WHO FAILS to earn.
HIS soN's respect.
CAN BLAME no one.
BUT JUST himself.
.
FOR I'VE never
known.
IN ALL my life. =.
OF ANY man.
WHO EARNED
respect.
The Washington times., 1922-10-17
More Deaths From Alcohol

According to the records OF
DIR. Charles Norris. chief medical
examiner, deaths from acute al.
Coholism in New York have in.
creased this year 81 per cent
over last year and 80 per cent
over 1920. These figures, re.
ported in the New York Medical
Journal, include only those vic.
tins who died without medical
attention. and DIR. Norris thinks
that many others attended by
private physicians have died
from the same cause.
The Washington times., 1922-10-17

IN making ordinary white
L paper, careless workman
forgot the sizing lie stack.
ed up the spoiled sheets to lie
destroyed. A gust OF wind
blew a newly written letter onto
the stack. 1t was found that
the unsized paper blotted the
letter neatly. Previous to that
time people had dried their writ.
ing with sand. BY this acci.
dent thousands OF dollars were
made.
1t is not always the discov.
erer. however, who gets rich.
Sometimes ii is the manufac.
turer.
We know lot, science il
wonderful, industry and frugal.
ity are great things. but so long
as human beings exist Lady
Luck will probably stick around.
Most of these items l finl in
an interesting article by G.. L.
Barhan in the London Daily
Mail.
The Washington times., 1922-10-17
The Trouble With Tedchinu
BY Edwin J. Clapp-

the last ten years. Thousands
of mon earn $4,000 to $1,000
in business. but the professor
has continued to get $500 n
year on the average-the best
Jobs $4,000 to $4,000.
EOR a long time we fooled
l. ourselves into thinking we
could keep buying the best
brains for $500 per year. II
took almost a generation for the
old race of professors to die out.
Their younger colleagues soon
found themselves in an intoler.
able economic position. They
couldn't afford to associate with
people who do things--a good
part Of education. They couldn't
afford to travel, or even buy
books.
what young men have been
attracted to this profession?
just the kind you'd expect.
The best men have been
diverted from high schools and
colleges to business. And to
business has gone a larger and
larger proportion Of female
brains, away from teaching.
WE'NE got TO give teachers
w competitive pay. real ca.
reers. All pay increases so far
are a drop in the bucket.
The Washington times., 1922-10-17

VOU never can tell what next
L you may be called upon TO
forego. Money, social stability,
place. friendship. a taken.for-
granted home. a supposedly de-
pendable mate.
Let Ish kabihhle be ready tc
serve you, lest Ivy caring 100
much you be bowled over. YOUR
reasor topple. and YOU he tempt
ed to do something foolishly
desperate.
The theme was suggested by
our discussion OF the latest do.
The Washington times., 1922-10-17

THE sordid and horrible de.
tails may vary, but the
same essential story is being
continuously told Of the mur.
derous desperation Of well.
meaning persons unable to Ell.
dure these tragedies of depri.
vation.
One wishes not to usurp the
judgment of courts and juriCs.
Nor does one intend to hc ull.
sympathetic with any N,f the
parties involved in these tragic
triangles.
They are here used, some.
what Cold.blooded perhaps. as
horrible examples" of The dan.
ger of being too much attached
10. anything or ANYBODY
Your pOise and self.pOsses.
sion. your self-respect and self
confidence should mean more
to you than any Of the treas.
ures Of life or the gifts of acci-
dent.
All these you may, and should.
cherish deeply. They should be
precious to you, and you should
continue to deserve their en-.
riChment.
But IL loss comes TO bercave
YOU Of however great a treasure,
YOU REMAIN. Don't be
desperate. Set your jaw. Grin
and bear it.
ISH kABIBBLE,
Copyright. 1922
The Washington times., 1922-10-17
Stars and Stripes

DIPLOMATIC.
A candidate in our town.
He must be wondrous wise.
One day he's lined up with the vets"
Tho next day with the "drys."
~ THEIR OPINIONS. THAT rs.
Some candidates for Congress this fall
~" Ike the wCather-dry one day and
wet the next.
The Washington times., 1922-10-17

AND FAILED to get.
WHAT NE had
earned.
AND ANYWAY, Bill.
YOU MAY be wrong.
Asovr YOUR boy.
AND II may be.
you NAG at him.
WHEN you come
home tired.
FROM A busy day.
AND YOU don't take
time.
TO LOOK at things.
FROM A boys
viewpoint.
AND YOU get mad.
BECAUSE HE falls
TO SEE all things.
FROM voue
viewpoint.
AND IF were you.
10 FORGET myself.
FOR A little while.
AND PUT myself.
IN MY boys place.
AND MAYBE then.
YOU'LL FIND in him.
THE RESPECT you
want.
AND I'M sure Is there.
The Washington times., 1922-10-17
ID lead plain path, because of mine enemies
the .Jam@H Taylor Cnnal alPrsbye Church
THE SPECTATOR
1t Is O. Game
A FTER all our efforts to re.

A FTER all our efforts to re-
AA duce life to a sciehce, it
remains a game. We cannot
get rid Of the element Of
chance. 1t is true that by saw.
ing and investing your money
you may get rich. The fact re-
mains, however. that luck has
a lot TO do with financial sue.
cess.
Take it in the matter Of in.
ventions. Most inventions have
been due to pure chance or n
happy idea.
The Washington times., 1922-10-17

GOING Up.
Prices are soaring.
Gee! What a deal.
The only thing cheap
Is the way that we feel
One pastor says the average girl goes
to dance wearing only four garments.
II takes some reformers to find out
things
The Washington times., 1922-10-17

IN the long run you get what
L you pay for and nothing
more. Small pay to our teach
ers necessarily brings us cheap
teaching.
Contrast the type of men and
women who enter the teaching
profession today with tho type
which entered fifty or even
twenty-five years ago. Then our
schools and colleges got tho pick
Of the land. why? Because
teaching job was then as good as
most others. A college profes.
sor. for example. earned about
as much as a successful doctor.
lawyer or small factory owner.
SINCE equal suffrage as
~ sured the professor an equal
station in life with other sue
cessful business and professional
men, the collateral advantages
Of teaching turned the balance
in his favor. The professor
alone had a three months sum.
mer vacation, with time and
money to travel. He had the
Joy Of intellectual life. the pur.
suit and attainment of truth.
He had the prestige OF being the
best educated man In tho com.
munity.
Contrast that with the posi-.
ton held by the college professor
The Washington times., 1922-10-17
$h KabibbLe
BY DR.. Charles Fleischer.

WHATEvER the orist" Of
the phrase. "Ish Kahib-
ble." it has passed into colo.
quial speech as part o. our
growing American language.
With tha equivalent shrug,
of'the.shoulder words, Il sho lid
worry" the strange phrase rep
esents part of the never.say-die
'pirit of the well.known hu-
nan race.
AS life for us humans grows
more tense and more complex,
We need to become more i'm
rervious to the slings and ar
Ows of outrageous fortune"
Why not cultivate your bump
( indifference. so that you may
'ecome fairly bombproof TO all
he. missiles and surprise at
aCks of life"
Because as YOU know aCci.
cnts will happen to the most
'autious. And the most can.
nily calculating are as subjec:.
as the most happy go-lucky TO
the envious conspiracies of the
unfriendly Fates.
SO you would better Clothe
YOUR bump of Indifference with
the steel armor of stoicism. and
be prepared to say-snd TO
mean-that you do not really
want-what you did want and
care for deeply.
The Washington times., 1922-10-17

mestic dramas. A woman,
whose husband all too literally
fell in love with her younger
sister, commits tho extreme
crime Of killing the girl She
had fostered.
Another gentlewoman bru.
tally beats out the brains Of
rival who is supposed to have
robbed her Of her husba nd's
devotion.
The Washington times., 1922-10-17

COMEBODY dyed cloth a
~ wrong color. and washed
it with alum in a vain endeavor
to correct the error. After it
was dry some one else tried to
wash the material with p!ain
water, but could not even wei
the cloth. So water.pro cloth
was invented.
The glazing Of pottery was
invented by chance. A servant
girl fell asleep while watching
a pot of boiling brine. When
she woke up she found the pot
was glazed where the brine hi !
run down the side. She told her
master, and he grew rich.
The Washington times., 1922-10-17

"E were looking on the old.
w est rock on the earth. and
in the hugo rent II had made in
the Youngest. There primrval
rock stood in majesty. lifting it's
rigid peak far above the Crumpled
strata. once tho bottom of an
ocean, hut now piercing the
clouds. Strata of rocks had bren
lifted and tilted. rent. wiggled and
inclined during millions of years
before the glacier began.
The Washington times., 1922-10-17
Guf Stream Mystery

AANl years ago, twenty-five
years at least, there was
AVA suggested a bloodless, war
less plan for influencing our Eng
lish friends.
1T was suggested that a gigantic
mole be constructed, with movable
doors, TO control the flow of the
Gult Stream, northeast toward
England.
II we had trouble with England.
instead of building warships and
lighting, we should shut off the
Gulf Stream and say: "Now freeze
or make peace.
That was intended to be humor-
Gus. But 10 and behold there are
complaints in England, in Paris and
throughout Europe because the
Florida East Coast Railway has
done great deal of filling in that
might possibly interfere with GuIf
Stream outlets from the Gulf of
Mexico.
There is doubt as TO the valuc Of
the Gulf Stream in supplying heat
to England and the west coast of
Europe. Some scientists say the
prevailing winds, carrying East.
ward the latent heat stored up by
the ocean, supply the warmth.
Others say "Yes, but the winds
gather much of that warmth from
the hot waters of the Gulf Stream. ("
The Washington times., 1922-10-17

THE pressure OF water forced
l. a gorge. and the flood rushed
in small streams northward
and poured into the Columbia
river and to the Pacific ocean.
And during thousands of wears,
the salt lake kept on growing
more and moro saturated, now
80 per Ccntum. And evaporation
made the sea Subside into The
present area one.tenth. or | 500
square miles. II is now kept at
present level by melted snow and
rain. Every part OF the $1,000
square mile plane, once sea bot,
tom. is of fascinating interest TO
science.
The surface of the lake Is now
4 200 feet above ocean level. Then
we entered and went, deep within,
a number Of miles when all auto.
motive advance was stopped by
houlders. some as large as small
houses. The canyon. fourteen
miles long and from hundreds TO
thousands Of feet wide and deep,
was once filled with ice. Every
trace Of scratching and grinding
of granite could be seen. On foot
we advance until an appalling
scene Of primeval internal force
of tho earth could be studied.
4 stratum Of scdimentary rock
five hundred foot thick had been
lifted up as a sheet of paper ny
ArChCaO rock so wide and lof,v
as TO he itself a mountain.
The Washington times., 1922-10-17

man and his wife may kiss and make
up. but the lady always makes up first.
The Washington times., 1922-10-17
Long Fingerndils

A GOOD many women nowadays
IA wear their fingernails an
: u eighth to a half inch long.
The Washington times., 1922-10-17

IT'S STRAIN, AT THAT.
The optimist used to hope for better
. things. Now the best he can do is hope
things won't be any worse than they are.
The Washington times., 1922-10-17

A NEWS item the other day CON
"a tanned the statement that a
flock of Storks estimated TO
The Caledonian-record. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1920-current, 1922-06-22
KILL PASTOR
AND SHERIFF IN RAID

ALBANY, ore, June 22-Thc
bodies of the Rev. Roy Healy, pas
tor of the First Christian church
of Albany, sheriff Kendall of Linn
county, and Dave NJ. West 20 year
old, rancher and trapper, who c
deaths were the result Of q raid on
Vests Moon,hine still terday,
were brought here today
Sheriff Kendall and the Rev.
Mr.. Heaiy were shot and killed by
the aged rancher who, after baui-
cading himself in his house and
holding off posse for hours, crcpt
from the building when night came,
and blew off the top of hi. head
with his rife West threatened
anyone with dean who should at
tempt to approach except the cor
oncr, who, he said, could remove
the bodies he had left. West shot
and killed both Kendall and Healy
without warning while they were
perhaps 30 yards from him. A
long as it remained daylight West
balricaded himself in hls house.
When night came he sand to his
wife who had remained in the
house with him. This is the last
goodbye" Shortly afterwards he
reached his barn whore he killed
himself
The Caledonian-record. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1920-current, 1922-06-22
WEST BURKE
LODGE FIFTIETH
ANNIVERSARY
Masonic Celebration We'd
nesday Night Largely
Attended

Caledonia Lodge, No. 98, F.-&
A. NJ, of West Burke celebrated
its fiftieth anniversary Wednesday
night with many Masons attending
from Barton, Lyndonville and st.
Johnsbury. A dozen from the scale
town went up in automobiles, re-
turning after the festivities were
over A notable feature of the oc-
casion was the presentation to
John b. Wachie, Past Master of
Caledonia Lodge, a Past Masters
jewel The presentation was made
by w. G.. Cheney, Past Master
and the present treasurer of Gale
donia lodge. Mr., Watchie was tht
first Mason ever raised in Gale
donia lodge, being initiated May
% 1872. In point of service he is
the oldest living member of Gale
donia lodge.
The meeting was in charge of
John A. McGill, Worshipful Mas
Continued on Last Page
The Caledonian-record. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1920-current, 1922-06-22
CLEVELAND
GIANTS HERE
ON SATURDAY
Strong COIOred Team
Booked to Battle Fair
banks A. A.

One Of the best baseball attrac-
tionS of the season will be staged
in St. Johnsbury on Saturday af-
tcrnoon when the strong Cleveland
Giants will play the Fairbanks A.
\. nine at the Campus. The game
starts at 3.15. With sunshine and
warmer weather on the docket for
Friday and Saturday it is believ-
ed "A record crowd will witness
this game The continuous rain
has set baseball backwards nearly
a month and the fans are eager to
get out and see some real sport.
"Cuddy' Murphy, the former
Dartmouth College star, and
who put in a spring training trip
with the Boston Red SoX last year,
is chcduled for the mound for St
Johnsbury. "Cuddy" is a big draw
ing card and can be relied upon to
give the tar babies from Provi-
dencc a big run for their money.
1t is expected that Fairbanks
will be strengthened by one or
two other players for this game.
With a workout today and tomor-
row it is expected that the local
ball players viii be going strong
for the Saturday game.
The line up of the visitors is as
follows:
James D. jackson. 1st base. De-
troit Stars; Babe Fuller, I'd base,
Lincoln Giants, New York; u. D..
Crossing. short stop, Penna Red
Caps of New York; Dada Brown,
I'd base. Lynn Stars; J. Arthur,
left field, Boston Pilgrims; Lefty
Devoe, right held, Havana Red
Socks; Dusty Rhodes, Homestead
Greys, Pittsburg; Bullet Campbell,
pitcher, Boston Tigers; substitute,
Hollaway, Tate Stars. Cleveland,
Ohio; Garedo Huanedo, Cuban
stars, Havana; Girley Young, Dal-
las Black Giants, Texas.
The Caledonian-record. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1920-current, 1922-06-22
Heavy Rainfall
This Month

According to the Museum rec
ords the rainfall OF Wednesday
amounted TO 81, making the June
precipitation thus far 5.01 inches.
Only twice before in the Museum
records which have been kept for
20 years has the rainfall for the
month of June exceeded five inch
eS-in 1897 and in 1917
On June II the Caledonian-Rec-
ord published the rainfall up to
noon Of that day, giving q total
of over three inches. The daily
rain record since noon .Tune 17th
is as follows: June II, p inches;
Is, 80; 10, .1G; q, As; 22, .46.
A. a result of almost contn-
uous rainfall since the first Of
the month the roads have been
made almost impassable and many
cars have been stalled or been tow
ed in to their garages. Tourists
from the north part of the state
declare that Orleans county looks
Ike the kingdom Of Holland, far
famed for its dikes and canals.
The II ton truck OF the Walter
l.. Main circus got stuck in the
mud Tuesday night and could not
be moved with its own power on
and Is horses and three elephants
helping. The truck was buried in
the mud below the hubs and it was
not until it was un!oadcd that the
men could start 1t.
The Caledonian-record. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1920-current, 1922-06-22

The field marshall delivered a
speech at the Liverpool street sta
ton in the city this morning in
connection with the unveiling of
war memorial. Apparently he
had Just returned home when the
tragedy occurred.
A few months ago Wilson ac-
cepted an appointment as military
advisor to the Ulster government
and made frequent trips to Ulster.
He spent most of his time in Lon
don, however, attending the House
of Commons.
The death of Field Marshall
Wilson was announced in the
House of Commons by Austen
Chamberlain, the government
leader, who moved the adjourn
ment of the House as a mark of
mourning. Mr.. Chamberlain stat
ed that the field marshall's house
had been broken into by two men,
who carried firearms, and were
now in custody and that he had
been shot dead
Policeman Marsh who was near
Field Marshal Wilson when he was
fired on died later in a hospital
from wounds he received.
BELFAST, June 22-Ncws Of
the assassination of Field Mar
shall Wilson created sensa-
tion here where it is feared that it
will provoke reprisals The Sim
Fein are popularity blamed for the
outrage.