Montpelier examiner. [volume] (Montpelier, Idaho) 1895-1937, 1922-01-19
Won Highest Honors in
Hades,
Introducing a Well-Known Character
BY Alan PRESLEY Wilson

Through an underground (al- .
though not an underhand) channel = |
have learned of a contest that took |
place recently In He'll. The object |
of the contest, as stated by the Devil |
himself, was to enable him to ascer-
tain who among his evil cohorts was
best fitted to occupy the next highest
office in the realm Of He'll.
The contestants were given a term
OF years in which to perform the
most diabolical deed each could de-
wise, obtain authentical proof Of its
evidence at public meeting held for
that purpose. Under his seal the
Devil obligated himself to reward
the one winning the contest by max
ing that one his Deputy, give him
power to reign with absolute auth
ority during the DEVILS indisposi-
ton or absence on vacation and TO
present him with a scepter second
only in fearfulness to that OF the
| Devil himself.
At the appointed time the cohorts
of He'll assembled in solemn conclave
and each one in the audience was in
breathless expectation to learn what
the Devil (who had announced pre-
viously that he was to be the sole
judge in the contest) would consider
the most diabolical deed.
Armed with documentary evidence
in some instances filling to overflow
ing a lawyers brief case, each con-
testant assembled on the platform
and a smile of self-satisfaction over
spread the countenance OF the one
who, at the call of the Arehdemon,
walked to a position IN front of the
Throne and recited his evil valor and
nisdeeds.
without going into the details OF
what was a most sordid recital OF
murder, rapine, crooked dealing
shame, degradation, dishonor and
crime, It will suffice to tell OF the
last to present himself for the coyet
ed honor.
When tho namo of "Oid Trusted
Subscriber" was called by the Arch
demon a somewhat unfamiliar figure
stepped to the front Of the stage anC
saluting his Majesty, began his re
cital. There was little about his ap
pearance to Justify an onlooker II
supposing that he belonged in tina
motely gang OF evildoers, nor did b.
carry much evidence of his wrongdo
ing. In fact, with the exception o
few letters and cards which he he'll
conspicuously, one could not discerl
that he was a candidate for the hon
or offered by the Devil.
Given permission TO speak, oil
Trusted Subscriber related that h
had subscribed for the local news
paper a number of years ago. "a
first" he said, II paid In advanc
each year. Then I found out this
the Editor was a pleasant sort {
person. trustful and hardworkinl
and not disposed to press those VII
were indebted to him; so began
let my subscription lapse. Ever
now and again there appeared q N
tfce in the paper to pay up, with
mild threat that back accounts wou
= be placed In the hands Of a lawy'
for collection. AS sort Of sop
went to the office and paid for yei
on my Indebtedness, but never pa
up In full, not to mention paying
advance. Then / made inquiry al
found that those who did not scar
at the threat to take legal acti'
were not molested or troubled. 80
decided / need not settle. either.
"In the meantime, got all {
personal mention and publicity
wanted. Whenever we gave pal
or had friends visiting at our hou
the Editor always published a nj
OF IL. Whenever death came into I
family, OF one of my children |
married, always wrote out 10
account in which I praised mys
a. being a representative citizen
the community and the Editor
ways published It in full. When