davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Arizona republican., 1922-04-16

when he confessed to lacking the
money for one.
Then wen be married and 90 right
home,v said Bessie. i've dismissed
Jenkins, for you'll enjoy keeping up
the place. and there's so much to do
around it just now that it's just as
well if we don't 20 away
Bessie apparently did not notice
| divers lack of enthusiasm over as
suming Jenkins duties.
At their first breakfast after the
| wedding she said, "Oliver, / don't run
up bills, so perhaps you had better
| give me enough for this weeks gro
| ceries."
divers sole unhandsome feature
weak niouth--dropped open as he
stared at his wife In all of the years
with his mother and Iva Reeves he
had never once been told that he must
assume financial responsibility j
! haven't it. Bess." he mumbled at last.
mot even $10?"
II got only Sc a week at CARRIERS
store I'm there just a couple of
hours a day. That's not more than
needed for my expenses"
ANY debts. Oliver?'
"A few" he confessed.
Make a list of them and wen
SSlIlo. 1itSn ) gu IIuSll I IUll up di4
more. Six dollars a week is pretty
poor pickingg for a man of your age
and ability. Oliver"
The resentment that had begun to
tinge his face redeemed at the last
clause. "They don't need a man full
time,' excused Oliver.
George E'eron needs man in
shoes
"But George works from s to and
keeps open Monday and Saturday
nights"
with extra pay for evening work
and he pays well, too said Bessie.
And he works his help like dogs"
muttered Oliver into his yellow nluf-
| fin. Bessie seemed not to hear.
But Oliver admired Bessie. He was
little afraid OF her, and she had at
| tributed to him something of which
| he had heard little for years-ability.
| So Overton gasped again when it was
| discovered that Oliver was putting in
| full time at Feron's store and keeping
up Bessie Smalfs estate mornings and
| evenings. Bessie, congratulating her
self, thought how sadly he had been
mismanaged heretofore, when he was
| really so traCtable.
When he had been at Teron's two
weeks Bessie suggested that he get
! up an nOuT carrier the next morning
and plant corn before breakfast.
Oliver did not plant corn. nor did
he get down TO Feron's at o'clock
He refused to get up at all Il guess
It's my heart, Bess," he murmured
feebly
/ Sxeptical though she was, Bessie
had no desire to make sick man go
to work. She brought him a sub
stantial breakfast which he ate with
relish.
Any pain in your heart now?p she
asked when the tray was empty.
Yes" he answered, his hand at
! his side.
Supposed heart trouble is often
caused by flatulence," informed Bes-
| sic. Dieting cures it, Now. no more
meals unit you get over it."
divers heart gave him no further
| trouble. but week later he came
! limping home. 'Rheumatism," he
said with twinge
! For three days he moaned and he
| groaned. Feron's was having q sale
and every few hours a message came
J TO sec II Oliver could not come down.
Arizona republican., 1922-04-16
PARchEsl.

You'd get laugh If you told base
ball or football players that parchesi
is a great sport. Yet parchesi was to
Persia, at the height Of itA civiliza-
ton, what baseball is 10 America.
Persians played the game with a
giant parclesi board worked In tiles
in the floors of palaces. They shook
dice, moving, winning and losing
beautiful slave girls Instead Of but
ton shaped counters.
That was the ancient form of sport
and tazz.
Arizona republican., 1922-04-16
The Sea-Mist Roves

paratively long period.
The fact that caffee will keep YOU
awake is made use OF by students
just before examinations. In their
grinding sessions. The excess. We
use or coffee in this way Is often l.
lowed by a deranRenaelt of 4 ,
stomach and nervous sys.em Of t..e
drinker for days.
caffaine. which causes the "anti-
sleep effect in coffee. is also be-
lieved to cause increased rapidity Of
thought. If the use Of caffaine be
continued for any length of time it
may result in q delirium which close-
ly resembles that Of alcoholism.
In emergencies when it is neces-
sary To keep awake for a long period
coffee serves q useful purpose But
in all such cases it is used TO in-
sure waiSefulness. the very condition
the average man or woman seeks TO
avoid
Arizona republican., 1922-04-16

opium to turn out masterpieces. 1t
is pointed out that many of history s
greatest literary men were drunk
ards or dope ffends.
The truth is, they wrote their stuff
In spite OF their aicholic and drug
vices, not on account Of them.
With writers working with clear
brains, literature will be afflicted
with less OF the poison OF deeadency.
That will more than counterbalance
any loss from the pens OF scribes
with alcoholic engines.
Arizona republican., 1922-04-16
Conn
Sims
Says

Sx-l -
People saving for a rainy day
often mistake drizzle for flood.
Harding still hopes to go to
Alaska. Why doesn't he join the
marines and see the world?
Eggs are having their near Easter
troubles.
II is estimated that on the first
day of baseball 15,000, 900 grand
mothers will be buried.
How's the coal bin been?
Radio fan claiming he uses his
hair for an aerial is probably talk
ing through his hat.
Isn't it about time for the annual
discovery of building trust?
Another world war in 2014 Ii pre-
dicted Congress had better start on
the bonus bill now.
Dress designers still believe in
calf love.
The man writing a book on he'll
probably got his idea from sleeping
in an upper Pullman berth.
According to mother, fool and
her hair are soon parted.
Coal strikes cost the public $780,
100000 year, but are not worth
nearly that much.
Some men who win loving cups
would find saucers more handy.
They want an army division made
up of women. Well, women have
always been good at charging
things.
Mrs. Ruth can do as she pleases
but 1t is dangerous to let her Babe
play with the managers.
Most Of the high cost Of living is
the cost of high living.
FAKE Count Found in Chicago
headline. We didn't know Chicago
was having an election.
Another joy OF summer is seeing
d skinny man in bathing suit.
Income tax fell off 5000, 900 900. We
predict a hot summer for the tariff
makers.
Movie hint: A shooting star falls.
Judge holds stealing liquor is not
larceny. No, it's impossible.
---~-
The man with three wives had
better be glad they caught him be-
fore vacation time.
Voliva seems sincere about think
ing the earth flat Perhaps 1t looks
rather flat to reforiner.
People drinking this professors al
col1ol made from gas had better
keep away from the fire.
Henry Ford is looking for way
to spend his money. Put a little of
1t in flivvers, Henry.
So is the income tax, Sherman.
Tom Edison says we will hear ants
talk soon. Perhaps we can persuade
them to fight boil weevils.
Indiana had 2633 accidents in
January'--f1ews item Bet most of
them we're poems about snow.
Irelands Ulster is still hot.
The first breath of spring is
caused by eating green onions.
several movie stars don't seem to
be like their pictures.
A train of thought is often wreck
ed by an automobile.
North Pole Still Moving" head
line Rents are high everywhere.
Arizona republican., 1922-04-16
WHO PAYS COST.

The miner, for digging coal cut Of
the earth. gets only a fraction of
what Ii paid By the consumer who
buys the coal.
Railroads collect freight charges,
averaging sz.43 a ton. for hauling the
coal from the mine TO market. ac-
cording to the National Coal Assoc
citation.
Arizona republican., 1922-04-16

TO keep the
m o t h S away.
dear"
why ?''
because moths
eat clothes. dear. "
Were t h ere
moths in the
Garden of Eden
when Adam and
Eve lived there.
Arizona republican., 1922-04-16

The coal jobber, who serves as
go-b between or purchasing agent,
takes an average of 10 TO 25 cents q
ton.
Then the retailer has his "over-
head or fixed charges rent. office
help. unloading from car. making
deliveries, etc. This overhead varies
from probably SO cents up to 81 q
ton.
Distribution Of commodities Is in
tricate, unscientific. costly Ii is a
penalty of civilization, a wide gap
separating the producer from con-
sumner.
Arizona republican., 1922-04-16

as you did in last
nights Ciamor ?"
H1ust a minute, :
replied the editor.
Didn't the story
appear as you
gave 1t to us
namely. that you
had resigned a.
city treasurer 2"
49, -
Arizona republican., 1922-04-16
FoReER

A juvenile forger is held BY the
Boston police. Although only IL
years old, his talent for forging PEN
manship is so remarkable that he is
compared to Jim the Penman.
Juvenile court should sentence this
lad to a trip to the federal peniten :
tiary at Atlanta for a talk with the
white haired master forgers. What
the lad would hear from them about
crime not paying would do him more
good than any other sentence the
court might impose.
A defect Of the law Is that Il
doesn't unveiI the inevitable future to
the budding gangster. The average
gun.toter could be cured by being
compelled to witness an execution.
Arizona republican., 1922-04-16

IL NtAC A4lh aIlU
prepared to fill in
the necessary pa
pexs.
When he came
to the space re-
served for The
date he said
genially: 1Let me
see, this is tho
2th iSu't ii -,
Arizona republican., 1922-04-16
WAREHOUSES

SAYS The Wall Street Journali
Taxing into consideration the higher
prices OF raw materials, inventories
OF most companies are far below what
they were In pre-war years"
This means that stocks OF goods in
warehouses are now-~beiow normal.
Such 4 condition always Is the
tail-end of hard times. When bins
are hungry, buying on . big scale
is not far off.
Arizona republican., 1922-04-16
eoRREp

In Chicago an average of $500
women day are getting their hair
bobbed.
Is bobbed hair coming as a perma-
nent institution?
1t is only few generations since
all men wore their hair long. No
doubt, the men who pioneered the
short shaired fad were ridiculed.
A few years from now, the woman
without bobbed hair may be q Curl
osity Once cut, they generally like
It. That is the first requisite for
making a fad into an established
custom.
Arizona republican., 1922-04-16

Late in the afternoon Bessie, after
working in the garden. removed her
soiled shoes in the entry and came in
her stocking feet so quietly that she
surprised Oliver walking about very
briskly without even the aid of a
cane.
Arizona republican., 1922-04-16
Laugh With Us

The politician rushed past the Off
eial cerberus in the editorial sanctunl.
what do you mean bs insulting me
Arizona republican., 1922-04-16

Doris watched her mother sprinkle
her furs with naphthalene powder.
why do you do that mother?'
Arizona republican., 1922-04-16
You andl
ByA1bert Apple

ury about q month from now. The
bad news will be that there's q
shortage OF money to pay Uncle
Sans bills.
Arizona republican., 1922-04-16

~ he hit upon d
plan to remedy
this fault.
When the lads
father went to
the c Il / c k e II
house he was
surprised to find
an ostrich egg
tied to one Of the
beams. and above
Arizona republican., 1922-04-16
DREAMLAND.

An argument has broken out
among EngIands big writers wheth-
er prohibition will curb the output
OF great literature.
Some OF the New York magazine
editors expressed the same fear when
the country went dry.
There's a popular belief that writ
ers have to be full Of whiskey or
Arizona republican., 1922-04-16
EAREMELL.

The Empire State Express thun-
dered into Buffalo station. On time,
as usual. for engineer was Edward J..
Haley. 20 years old.
1t was his last trip. He retires
after So years service. He MAY not
have a million salted in the bank.
but he can look back to an interest
ing and extremely useful life. That,
after all. is what counts most.
Arizona republican., 1922-04-16

Certainly not!" said the indignant
mother. We've only been married
three years.
Arizona republican., 1922-04-16

sEx-Governor of Tobasco Is Ban
dit" says Mexican paper. If he's
caught, Tobasco viii make it hot for
him.
Arizona republican., 1922-04-16

According to mother fool and
her hair are soon parted.
Arizona republican., 1922-04-16

The man writing book on he'll
probably got his idea from sleeping
in an upper Pullman berth.
Arizona republican., 1922-04-16
RosA.IosEEA

ROSA-JOSEFA
The "Siamese Twins" Rosa and
Josefa, will be remembered when
many now prominent statesmen and
scientists will be forgotten even by
the encyclopedia compilers.
Young folks OF our generation will
tell their grandchildren about Rosa
and Josefa, freaks of nature that
occur only once in billions of human
births.
Sicily had a three headed child,
born 1892. The Tocci brothers lived
many years though even their heads
were fused together.
Original Siamese Twins were e
Chang and Eng. made famous by
Barnum They died In 1874, aged
So, at their home near Salisbury, ".
c.. within a few hours of each other.
Rodica and Doodica, Hindu twins,
were successfully divided by opera
tion in Paris in 1902.
Nature, like history, repeats her
exceptions which prove the rule.
Arizona republican., 1922-04-16

mother?'
"Of course. dear
'.Well. what did they eat?s
The mother took her baby to be
ehristened. The clergyman, who
knew her personally. dipped his pen
Arizona republican., 1922-04-16

New Yorker who ran away after
having monkey glands grated may
be out at the zoo eating peanuts.
Arizona republican., 1922-04-16

A youthful chicken fancier had in
his possession a couple of bantam
hens that laid very small eggs. Final
Arizona republican., 1922-04-16

Dress designers still believe in
calf love.
Arizona republican., 1922-04-16

Another world war In 2014 IL pre-
dicted. Congress had better start on
the bonus bill now.
Arizona republican., 1922-04-16

It is estimated that on the first
day of baseball 100000 grand
mothers will be buried.
Arizona republican., 1922-04-16

'The average girl who leaves hons
Is 49, finds society. The average
girl who stays at home is 90.
Arizona republican., 1922-04-16

Coal strikes cost the public $780,
100000 a year, but are not worth
nearly that much.
Arizona republican., 1922-04-16

lnitted the politician. But you put
it under the head Public Improve
ment.''
Arizona republican., 1922-04-16

Some men who win loving cupa
would find saucers more handy.
Arizona republican., 1922-04-16
STANDARDIZED


STANDARDIZED
The scarcity of Siamese Twins
emphasizes how nature in a rough
way standarcizes things. Symmetry
of Standardization is a basic creative
law-ants, sparrows and bees, for
instance, being almost identical when
matured.
Man did not apply natures stand
ardization system to manufacturing
until 1852. when Springfield rifles
were made with interchangeable
parts for quick repairs.
Civilization of the future will be
Wtandardized-cut land dried. Some
propagandists, enemies of originality,
would even standardize thought,
making brains as alike as Ford cars.
HALF
Only half as much grain will be
grown in Russia this year as before
the war. This news comes from the
soviet commissar OF agriculture.
OF an the stories that have come
out OF Russia about economic break
down this is the most Illuminating.
To American farmers it means that
Russia will not figure as a bear fac
tor in the wheat market next fail.
GOLD
A gold rush has started in the
Cedar Creek and Quesnal districts of
British Columbia A never say-die
prospector uncovered the yellow
metal. Newssleaked out. Over snow
trails flocked a greedy swarm, and
all around within 10 miles of the
discovery has been staked.
AS soon as anyone discovers a new
l1ttcf,.nSe
or other short -cut to wealth, the imi-
tators, patent pirates and parasites
surround him.
1t seems to be fundamental in
human nature. That's why the lock
and key was one Of mans first in
ventions.
FLOODS
River engineers say the levees
along the Mississippi, from the mouth
of the Ohio to the Gulf OF Mexico.
in most places are now able to hold.
the river even if it goes five feet
higher than ever before.
The s50,000,000 for Mississippi
levees, appropriated by congress in
1917, was money we'll spent.
The levees now protect Is 000,00
acres OF land formerly subject to
overflow, homes of nearly 1000 900
people The fight that has been
waged by the levee builders for more
than 200 years appears to be nearly
won.
HOLES
You can learn more about the fu-
ture, by studying the financial state
ments of big corporations, than any
astrologer ever claimed to read in
the stars.
Dow, Jones e. Company, financial
experts, report that deficits are
shown by about two-thirds of the
published.
"a deficit means no profits avail
able for taxation.
Congress is due 10 hear some bad
news from the secretary OF the treas
Arizona republican., 1922-04-16

II caru with this notice:
Keep your eye on this and do
your best
Arizona republican., 1922-04-16

Isn't it about time for the annua
discovery of d building trust?
Arizona republican., 1922-04-16

Harding still hopes to go to
Alaska. Why doesn't he join the
marines and see the world?
Arizona republican., 1922-04-16

Radio fan claiming he uses hia
hair for an aerial is probably talk
ing through his hat.
Arizona republican., 1922-04-16

Eggs are having their near Easter
troubles.
Arizona republican., 1922-04-16

People saving for a rainy day
often mistake a drizzle for flood
Arizona republican., 1922-04-16

They want an army division made
up OF women. Well, women have
always been good at charging
things.
Arizona republican., 1922-04-16

Mrs. Ruth can do as she pleases
but 1t is dangerous to let her Babe
play with the managers.
Arizona republican., 1922-04-16

Most Of the high cost of living is
the cost of high living.
Arizona republican., 1922-04-16

How's the coal bin been9
Arizona republican., 1922-04-16

Fake Count Found in Chicago
headline. We didn't know Chicago
was having an election.
Arizona republican., 1922-04-16

Another joy OF summer is seeing
a skinny man in bathing suit.
Arizona republican., 1922-04-16

Income tax fell off 5000, 900 900. We
predict a hot summer for the tariff
makers.
The Washington herald., 1922-04-23
Many Dances
In Lynchburg
Close of Lenten Season
Brings ReUiUaI of
Gayety.

LYNCHBURG. Va. April 22.-
With the Lentcn season over. Lynch
burg society gave itself over to a
week of dancing. the week being
started with two dances Easter
Monday night. one at the ElkS' Club
and the other at the Oakwood
Country Club. The Elks' dance COM
mittee also gave a dance Thursday
night. The Lynchburg German
Club has announced a dance to be
given the evening of August 26.
Miss Lila Wilson, daughter Of
Mrs. L. w. Wilson, was married to
Hubert S. Taylor this evening at
st. Paul's Episcopal Church, after
being much entertained during the
week.
Mrs. John Randolph Page. of New
York, who was the guest of Mrs.
Don Preston Peters, has returned
to New York.
Miss Dorothy Hughes. who spent
the winter with her brother, Lieut..
John Bell Hughes. at Corogal. Pan
anna, has returned home, and Miss
Margaret Williams. who was her
guest for Easter. has returned to
her home in Norfolk.
Mr.. and Mrs. Lawrence Anderson
and baby are guests of Mr. and
Mrs. r. T. Watts, jr.
J. Cleveland Noel is in Hunting
ton. W. Va, for a visit with rela-
tives.
The Washington herald., 1922-04-23

HARDOTTESVILLE. Va, April
2.-Begfnning with a riot Of colo-
nd jazz syncopation the first night
4 the Easter germans at the Uni
.ersity of Virginia began with the
p. X. and German Club dance.
Fayerweather gymnasium presented
colorful appearance. bedecked
with red. white and blue Gibbons
and yellow and red lights. The
baseball and track figure ca o.
carly, led by ]. w. Dunn, Of Rich
mond, and Miss Virginia Jones.
Next came the p. X and German
Club figure. led by $. B. Witt, OF
Richmond. and Mrs. J. Il. Banks. or
the University. Refreshments were
served at 1880. The dance con-
tinued until a. m. The chaperones
were Mrs. Charles q. Maphis, DR..
and Mrs. w. r. Smithey, Mrs
Thomas Fawcus. Mrs. Gooch, Mr.
and Mrs. Richmond T. Minor. Mr..
and Mrs. McLane Tilton, Mrs. WILL
hanson, Mrs. Cheape and Miss
Grant.
Easter week also ushe-ed in a
number of house parties at the
university. Six fraternities had
girls up from all over the East and
South.
The p. A. L. S. Easter dance az
the Blue Ridge Club Monday night
was one Of the most successful So
c.al events Of the year. The chaper-
The Washington herald., 1922-04-23
Light Brigade
In Egg Hunt
Strasburg Lutheran Chill
dren Hold Annual
EUent.

STRASBURG. Va. April ga
The children of the Light Brigade
OF st. Paurs Lutheran Church were
treated to an Easter egg hunt at
the Lutheran parsonage Saturday
afternoon.
Mr.. and Mrs. Lester A. Zirkle, Of
Edinburg. are receiving congrstu-
lations on the birth of a son, Les
ter Abraham. last Monday. Mrs.
Zirkle was formerly Miss Lois
Chandler. Of Strasburg.
Miss Catherine Murphy. Of st.
Mary's Academy. Alexandria. is the
guest Of her parents. Mr.. and Mrs.
Martin Murphy.
and her little daughter. OF Pitts
burgh. Pa. who have been visiting
Mr.. Bakers parents, Mr.. and Mrs.
Edward Baker. motored to Hagers-
town on Friday.
Miss Isadore wilkins. Of Char
lottesville. spent several days this
week with Mrs. Mary Machir.
Miss Ruth Grubbs. Of warrenton.
has been the guest Of Miss Lois
Crabin.
Mrs. L. +. Eeister entertained
the Beau-Not club Friday evening.
Misses Pauline and Frances
Knee, of Washington. n. C.. were
the guests of their parents. Mr.. and
Mrs. J. c. Knee. over the Easter
holidays. Morris Knee. also Of the
Capital City. spent Easter here
with his parents.
The Washington herald., 1922-04-23
CupidActiUe
In Rockville
Many District, Maryland,
And Virginia Couples
Married.

ROCKVILLE. April %. Among
the couples married here during tho
week were Miss Martha Alger. q
Culpeper, Va, and Harry Argysos
Of New York City; Miss Maude =
Miller and Joseph Fuschini. bath
Of Washington; Miss Ella V. Kin.
caid and Alton p. Shaw. both OF
Forest Glen; Miss Josephine q
Town and Roger W. Tinsley. both
Of Takoma Park, and Miss. Eva J..
Tucker. OF Washington. and James
H. Moreland, OF Capitol Heights.
Md.
Under the direction Of Miss Mar
tina $. Poole. the Junior Club n -
Andrtw's Church, Washington will
present a play In Seco Hall here
next Friday evening for the benefit
Of the Montgomery County Gen
eraI Hospital
Gaithersburg enjoyed a musical
treat Tuesday evening. when the
st. Patrick's Quartet, Of Washing
ton. assisted by other washingtoa
talent. gave a concert and musica .
in Masonic Hall for the benefit uf
the athletic association. NIsss-
Howard and Manning AMI J J
Nolan and c. c. Myers composed
the quartet and Miss GIennan was
the accompanist. Luke Fsegau sans
Scotch songs.
The young men OF Glen Echo and
vicinity gave a dance in the TOW u
hall there a few evenings ago.
The Young Mems Club Of -
Johns Church. Olney. were enter
tsined a few evenings ago by Carl
Williams.
The Washington herald., 1922-04-23

Mrs. E. c. Hooper. during the
Easter holidays.
Miss Emily Wright. OF Phila-
delphia. is the house guest of Mrs.
r. Bruce Harrison.
Mrs. Fannie Shuts. who has been
the guest of DR.. and Mrs. Thomas
Il. Brown. left Wednesday morn
ing for her home in Bath. n. Y.
Leon Jerrett. a midshipman at the
Naval Academy. was the guest of
his cousin. Miss Mary Macpherson,
during the Easter holidays.
Mrs. Terrell Grubbs is visiting
her parents in Reading. Pa.
Mr.. and Mrs. Schwitzer and
daughter, Edith. of Salt Lake City.
Utah, were the guests of honor at
a dinner and bridge party given by
Capt. and Mrs. \. l. Eagle Saturday
evening.
Mrs. B. X. Crismond has returned
to her home in Fredericksburg.
after spending the winter with her
daughter. Mrs. Eddie Foster.
Mrs. w. G. Gfeenwell, assisted by
Mrs. E. H. Hardy and Mrs. B. D.
Shreye, entertained at 800" Mon
day evening at the home OF Mrs.
Greenwell.
Fred Campbell, OF Rochester. N.
Y, spent Easter with Mr.. and Mrs.
E. w. Comley.
Mrs. j. ". Harrison. of Richmond.
Is spending the weekend with her
parents, Mr.. and Mrs w. A. Rich
ardson.
Mr.. and Mrs. Frank Van Doren
""''e taken an apartment in the DR..
Tabor Johnson house on Chain
Bridge Road.
At the last meeting of the Wash
ington District Citizens Association
the following officers were elected
DR.. Edward Mccarthy, president: ].
c. Forrest, vice president: w. o.
Williams, secretary; and J. w. Mil
stead. treasurer.