davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-03-16
RADICAL REFoRMERs CLOSING SHOP

"The County Agent" in Farm Life.
 Apparently the open season for radical ag- tators is just about closed or else their ilk is becoming extinct. year ago, it was common to listen to speakers who advocated everything from price fixing to regulation and monopoly, and we even heard one man expound the princ- ples of pure sovietism-in other words man Is a parasite who does not work with his hands. Brains are taboo; the state is supposed to have the excessive right to furnish them. Wouldn't the state have big job, though? Now such radical with hatfu of radical ideas gets but feeble applause and is in great danger of getting his coat tails dashed aside.
 The farmer is pretty hard to stam- pede. He prefers to do his own thinking and, generally speaking, he wants to think things over before he gets very strongly behind them. In fact, this refusal to be herded by the poli- tician and the demagogue is the main reason why cooperative enterprises have grown so slowly. But if one judge by the signs tha. seem unmistakable, such cooperative mover ments are bound to grow. Doing business Jar cost would seem to be in line with the ten dency now generally manifested to do the work of the entire community in collective way
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-03-16
THIS FITS MOST OF US~
From Forbes Magazine.

From F0rDeS MaSazlne
 Henry Ward Beecher, so the tstory goes was once asked by young preacher how he could make his congregation keepIwide- and at tentive during his sermYas. Beeeher replied that he always had nt Ian watch for sleepers, with instructions, as Soon as he saw anyone start nodding or doziHg, to hasten to the pulpit and wake up the pyeacher. Aren't you and usually less sepsible? Would we not be in clned to haye< the watcher wake up, not our selves, but( the fellows caught sleeping? In other words, aren't we disposed always to blame <others7 When things go wrong in an organization, the president usually feels it is ne4essary for him to shake up his associates. His associates, in turn, usually start kicking Gp ructions with those under them. And workers when they dissatisfied usually lay the blame not at their own door, but at the door of the foreman or the department head or the big boss-somebody, anybody, except themselves.
 How about adding this Beecher squib to what we always carry around with us in ouy mind?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-03-16
LETTERS TO EDITOR
 HELP FOR BLIND

To the Editor of The Age-Herald:
 am writing in the name of the Birmingham Association for the Blind to thank you for the many kindnesses you and The Age-Herald have extended to our association, particularly in the matter of publicity. We feel that there is great need in Birmingham for the work we are trying to do for the blind, and we realize that without the newspapers of our city to help us, we could not go far. We especially appre- ciate the space you gave us during our recent membership campaign. During the coming year we are planning to do even more than in the past and we feel sure that we can always count on The Age-Herald for support and co-opera- tion in any project for community betterment. Thanking you again for the very material help you have been to us in the past, am, very truly yours, CLARA BELLE SENN.
 Secretary. Birmingham, February 27, 1922 26OO Madi-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-03-16
HELPING MEN A PLEASURE

"A few days ago the Birmingham Automo- bile club had the opportunity of putting some work with good compensation into the hands of two ex-seryice men, and it was great pleasure for us to do so,' said Mrs. Bertha Coughlan, secretary of the club
 "We had a tremendous correspondence, let ters to be folded, envelopes to be stamped and addressed, letters to be put into the envelopes, and seemed delighted to get some work where ried to the postoffice, and in thinking over who I would get to help me- it occurred to me that some of the ex-service men might like the job.
 q sent to the American Legion and two nice young fellows were sent to the Automobile club, and scene ddelighted to get some work where by they could make some money. They seemed very apprecative and while it was not a large amount they made, it was better than nothing, and they were glad to get it"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-03-16
COMPLIMENTS QUARTET

"The Scrap Iron Quartet of Birmingham Southern is a nifty organization" said Charles l.. Harold. ''We wanted to secure little music for the smoker-rally for Congressman Oliver last Tuesday night, and for while we were up against it. Then some one suggested this quartet. We prevailed upon them to sing for us and they exceeded our expectations.
 "The members of the Civic association ccr- tainly enjoyed their songs and Congressman Oliver also complimented them.'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-03-16
A CELEBRATED HOAX

"It says here on this mummy case that the body inside is 1000 years old" said the visitor at museum.
 That's right, sir" replied the attendant. "Umphr'
 You don't believe it2"
 'No, don't. Tve-been suspicious of things like that ever since paid 50 cents to see the Cardiff giant"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-03-16
FORCE OF HABIT

"Gentlemen of the jury" said the lawyer who was defending well-known bootlegger could you look in this mans eye and believe for one moment that he would violate the law of his country by selling contraband liquor?"
 Hold on minute, whispered his client, tugging at his coat-tas.
 What's the matter?p
 Don't tell them to look at Yie Seven 9f those jurors are regular customers of mine One of them might forget where he is and up me a wink"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-03-16
IN HOTEL LCBBIES
 AND ELSEWHERE
CLEVER AT MAKING KITES"

1t appears that this is the open season for kites with the boys all over Birmingham, and while the vogue is on there is one clever youngster, Louis G. Richter, Jr., who has made quite reputation as kite maker" said George C. Whatley.
 Louis is really quite an artist in this line; he takes all sorts of highly colored tissue paper and manipulate it very cleverly on the frame of kite, using trimmings and designs which are really very artistic. He has made dozens of them and sold them at 15 cents apiece and the boys who have bought them have been tieklcd to death with them.
 "They are good flyers as well as good to look at, and with the long tails of pink, blue green or yellow tissue paper and hundreds of yards of cord to fly them with they make very attractive appearance. This youngster is quite an inventive genius at kite making, for he knows exactly how to get the best re- suits from combinations and arrangements"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-03-16
FRATERNITY

By John B. Tabb.
 I know not but in every leaf
 That sprang to life along with me, Were written all the joy and grief Thence1ofth my fate to be. The wind that whispered to the earth, The bird that sang it's earliest lay, The flower that blossomed at my birth My kinsmen all were they. Ay, but for fellowship with these had not been-nay, might not be; Nor they but vagrant melodies Till harmonzed by me.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-03-16

talking points, but when he stated that he wrote the draft himself there was little more to be said on that particular subject.
 The arms conference treaties have been ap- proved by the American people. The "irrecon- cables' in the Senate are fighting a losing battle and they know it, without taking the trouble to keep an ear to the ground
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-03-16
REDUCED CIRCUMSTANCES

Did you meet any noblemen while you were abroad?"
 "oh, yeso said Mr. wadeigh. "They are plentiful in Paris. We employed Russian duke to drive automobile while, we were there and count waited on us in our favor ite restaurant, but insisted on having a rep resentative of the plain people to shine my shoes"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-03-16
A FOG ON THE OCEAN WAVE

"Ga me taxi said the befuddled traveller
 Are you aware, sir" asked the steward, "that you are on board liner in the middle of the Atlantc?"
 traveller. If you have a psychopathic ward on board call me couple of specialists
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-03-16
SINFUL

Do you regard it as sinful to play cards?" asked the moralist.
 "Yes,' said MT. Grumpson. For man who can't play poker any better than do to sit m game with party of expert pasteboard ma nipuators is little short of a crime"
 PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-03-16
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
REGULATED

Augustus Potts lived tranquilly
 Until the golf bug bit him, But now is woeful sight to see,
 His good wife vows she'll quit him. He'd try the patience of saint
 Because his talks restricted Entirely to the fell complaint
 By which he is afflicted.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-03-16
THE PACIFIC

"So that's how Monte Carlo looks?' 'sIn way. The movie was made in Cali fornia"
 "Then that isn't the Mediterranean in the background"
 ''No. That's Hiram Johnson's sea of trouble.'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-03-16
NEITHER YOUNG NOR FAIR

She tainted twice on the witness stand,
 But the strategy proved in vain; Her lawyer knew that he played a weak hand, For she'll never see forty again.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-03-16
THEY KNOW BETTER

From the Montgomery Advertiser.
 Edward J. O'Brien, scientist, explains the Halifax ghost story by saying that electr.l waves did the 'hainting.' Scientists may b3L ieve that but the proletariat of Nova Sco4s will indignantly reject any such hifaluy in theory
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-03-16

Governor Edwards of New Jersey has signed bill making $15 the maximum price for a seat at boxing exhibition, but the days when a pugilist would jump at the chance to battle for purse of $1, ,OO0 will never come back again.
 A burlesque actor says he has been convert ed by Dr. John Roach Straton and will enter the ministry. Preachers underpaid, but the "ghost" walks more regularly than it's do- ing just now in the theatrical profession.
 X x *
 Flats heartily for first time in over a year."-Patent medicine advertisement Many of our citizens who were in perfect health when the war ended haven't been able to eat a hearty meal since.
 It doesn't seem quite chubby for citizens of Jacksonville, Fla, to volunteer for liquor raids when the wetness of Jacksonville is such an at traction to tourists.
 A California scientist says he has discovered a light ray that will destroy a city Hitherto we've had to depend chiefly on earthquakes and volcanoes
 Denver has just had it's first horse-drawn funeral since 1917. Modes of conveyance change, but palbearers crack the same old jokes.
 At the eminent risk of scandalizing some of his constituents Senator Lodge defended a grammatical error in the four-power treaty.
 x *
 The plea that the Patagonian monster be permitted to propagate it's species is bit academic, unless there is more than one
 x *
 "Madelynne Weeps." s."-Headline. One of Los Angeles most celebrated murder trials is pro- ceeding according to precedent.
 x x
 Beer sells for cent a glass in Germany and slaves are five cents Again we rise to ask, "Who won the war;"
 The Turk may be lingering in Europe even after Henry Ford's city 75 miles long is com pleted at Muscle Shoals.
 x Rhine occupation should be paid by the house of Hohenzolern.
 Call it pessimism or what you will, but the report that Mexico is quiet immediately arouses our suspicion.
 Are we to understand that nations who fail to pay their League of Nations dues will be posted at Geneva?
 The ouija board is absolutely worthless in making out an income tax report.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-03-16
A MORNING PRAYER

O help me, Lord, to look upon the sins of other men with deep compassion, for l can never come to thee except thou lookest SO on mine. Amen.-M. s. B.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-03-16
AMERICAN ARMY WEAKENED BY
 PACIFISM AND ECONOMY

The average congressman regards an officer of the army or navy with little warmth He is apt to look upon him as a necessary evil, and seems to have an idea that the army and navy people have an incurable habit of "asking for more."
 This spirit has been rampant since wave of economy swept through the legislative halls at Washington, and General Pershing is right in objecting to the proposals of the House appropriations committee to reduce the reg ular army to 115,O00 men and II ,000 officers.
 The attitude of Congress toward the army since the World war ended has been severe strain on its morale. Officers and men don't know what is going to happen next. That kind of feeling is bound to react unfavorably on the personnel both in and out of the ranks. It is high time that a stop be put to the re- peated onslaughts to which the army, as we'll as the navy, is being subjected. Pacifsm, as we learned to cost, can be carried to an ex- treme, and so can economy when the national defense is concerned.
 The sturdy spirit of General Pershing was revealed in his statement that "whatever Con gress may fit to grant, the army will as it always has, apply itself to giving the nation as much national defense as it can It will not quit, no matter how badly crippled"
The Clio messenger. (Clio, Mich.) 1907-current, 1922-05-11
NEVER EVEN TOUCHED HER
Reader Must Figure Out for Himself
Just What Caused Negress to
Jump Over Railing.

A negress was charged with assault
ing another negress.
'Luella Washington" said the judge.
"what have you to say for yourselfT
'Your honah," replied Luella, "Ah
nevah struck that woman. All nevah
touched her. All had reprimanded her
fob THROWN garbage out back, an
she kept on dom it, an this mawnin
All reprimanded her again. All come
downstairs from nah fiat up above,
en- was holding up nah right hand jes'
like the Statue of Liberty, jes' like
Ah'm holdin' up nah right hand now,
reprimanding that woman, an as All
come close to her, that woman jes'
jumped head first ovah the railing. All
nevah touched her"
"What did you have in the hand
which you were holding up like the
Statue Of LibertyT
"a Ratchet"
The Clio messenger. (Clio, Mich.) 1907-current, 1922-05-11
A REWARD OF $5,O0O.0O

Would be a small amount to pay
for saving a mans life. If you could
save your life for a dollar bill would
you hesitate to spend it? You risk
your life everytime you drive your
car in the rain because you can't see
through your windshield. A dollar
bill sent to the Baltimore See-Thru
Corporation, Baltimore, Maryland,
will ensure you having a clear wind
shield for the next three years, as
their preparation is guaranteed to
keep your glass as clear as a sum-
mer's day. Nothing like it on the
market. One application will last as
long as a rain storm even if it lasts
a month. 1t is absolutely guaranteed
to give satisfaction or money refund
ed. Send for it today and be pre-
pared for the next rain storm.-Ad-
vertisement.
The Clio messenger. (Clio, Mich.) 1907-current, 1922-05-11
BIBLE ASCRIBED TO SATAN
Evil One Declared to Have Assisted
Monk to Perform Work, for
Fearful Price.

One of the most famous copies of
the Scriptures in existence is the one
which bears the curious title, 1.-THE
Devils Bible" 1t is an exquisite piece
of workmanship inscribed on 300
asses skins, and was taken to Stock
holm at the conclusion of the Thirty
Years war.
According to tradition this Bible
was the work of a poor monk who
was condemned to death for some
detection, but was told that the SEN
tence would be committed If he would
copy out on asses skins the entire
Bible in single night. He agreed
to try to do it but, finding the task
too great, made a compact with the
devil to exchange his soul for the
required transcript. The devil kept
his part of the bargain, and the work
was finished on time. The monks
life was spared by his marveling
Judges, but tradition is silent as to
how he kept his end Of the agreement.
The Clio messenger. (Clio, Mich.) 1907-current, 1922-05-11
HAS FIRST WELL
DAY IN 6 YEARS
Huntington Citizen Could Neither
Sleep Nor Eat With Any Sat-
isfaction Before He
Got Tanlac.

Before taking Tanlac had not
seen well day in six years" said
w. X. Peoples, 32S 22nd ST., Hunting
ton, W. Va.
1T seemed like had lost my health
for good. l could neither sleep nor
eat with satisfaction. l was badly
run down, nervous, had no appetite
and had TO force down every mouthful
l ate Even then my food soured.
would fill up with gas until | had in.
tense pains in my stomach and chest.
Headache almost drove me mad, rheu.
matism in my arms, shoulder and hips
kept me in pain all the time, and |
had to force myself to work.
"Tanlac went right after my troubles.
On four bottles l gained ten pounds
and the rheumatism and stomach
trouble soon left me. My wife has
given n statement about the good Tan
lac did her, and 1 am glad to add my
endorsement of this wonderful medi-
cine"
Tanlac is sold by all good druggists
The Clio messenger. (Clio, Mich.) 1907-current, 1922-05-11

were being pressed SO they could be
sent off in letters TO those away from
springtime gardens.
81 saw people counting how many
they had and one person said that in
their garden there were eight which
showed that it was an early spring,
for last year mt the same time there
were only two out!
II saw lots of birds nests, oh so
in the city.
'And | saw many birds building
their nests. working so hard. They
were carrying sticks and bits Of mud
and all kinds of little bits of odds and
ends they thought would help with
their building.
II saw "A clock which was weary
and which would not 90 until it was
put down on its back so it could rest.
1t had behaved the same way some
time before l heard and that after a
time it became all right
81 heard a little girl say that they
had so many calves on their farm that
"And l saw some flower beds made
in the shapes Of diamonds and lovely
pansies and hyacinths and many other
flowers were put in them.
you see the people said diamonds
were valuable and so they wanted to
show that their flower beds were valu-
able and made them diamond-shaped.
Al. eel,
able and l quite agree. There aren't
many things much nicer than flowers.
81 heard some boys talking about
circus and they said that the lions and
tigers and leopards now did tricks in
the circus
"That sounded very astonishing
even TO the Fairy Queenl
"But it was quite true, of course.
81 saw a kind man who was taking
the usual order of eggs to a lady. She
was very sad, for she had had much
trouble. And he went out into the
woods and gathered some lovely little
trailing arbutus flowers for her.
Wasn't that q sweet, kind thing to
do?"
at was a lovely thing to do" the
fairies all said.
"Then / took another hurried trip
to the zoo. And the zooland creatures
were much excited.
at had my picture in the paper
said the baboon named Chacma. He
is a South African and has a face
very much like q dog.
awe had ours in the paper, too
said two orang-utans.
"'And / had mine in said the Ad-
jutant, or East Indian stork. And
they told about my marabou feathers,
too. Yes, they spoke of how handsome
they were!'
"They had my picture in the pa
per- said Leo the Lion, but that makes
no difference to me. do not pay any
attention to such things. They're not
enough to flatter me-
az thought 1t was rather nice to
have my picture in the paper said
The Clio messenger. (Clio, Mich.) 1907-current, 1922-05-11

tn e crocodile.
They told, too,
of how famous l
am for my teeth
and my skin and
they spoke Of
crocodile tears,
which is an old
joke, but perhaps
they can't think
up another one !
Eyes, the ZOO
land a nj m a | s
W ere m u c h
plea Sc d about
having their pic
lures in the pa
per.
"Well, I had a
fine trip and saw
The Clio messenger. (Clio, Mich.) 1907-current, 1922-05-11
Reversed.

With very realistic sobs the weary
tramp told the tale to the farmers
wife and she nearly believed him.
"But, surely, if you have an aged
mother to support" she said sympa-
thetically, "you could find some better
way of doing 1t than begging? You
know necessity is the mother Of in
vention.'
"Not in my case, assure you,"
said the tramp, earnestly. with me,
lady, mother is the invention Of neces-
sity."-Pearsons
The Clio messenger. (Clio, Mich.) 1907-current, 1922-05-11
Shave With cutieura Soap

And double your razor efficiency as
we'll as promote skin purity, skin COM
fort and skin health. No mug, no
Shiny soap, no germs, no waste, no irri-
tation even when shaved twice daily.
One soap for all uses-shaving bathing
and shampooing.- ADVERTISEMENT.
The Clio messenger. (Clio, Mich.) 1907-current, 1922-05-11

many Things ana
now that / am back ! am going to
plant n Fairyland garden for all Of the
Fairyland people and while ] am work
ing in my garden | suggest that all the
little Fairyland people 90 adventuring
for awhlle-whereve they wish"
So the Fairyland people went adven-
turing, some this way and some that,
and scattered all over the land.
But the Fairy Queen worked in her
Fairyland garden. for she had seen so
many gardens on her trips lately that
she wanted a little special one Of her
own, too-and she wanted to work in
IL rather than have 1t come by the
wave OF n wand.
The Clio messenger. (Clio, Mich.) 1907-current, 1922-05-11
MATTER OF PROPERTY RIGHT
Negro Had His Own Good Reasons
for Bestowing Care on His
Headgear.

Senator Henry Cabot Lodge said In
recent address in Cambridge:
Communism has proved its worth
lessness in Russia. After Russia no
tub-thumper will ever say again that
private property is a mistake and 1t
is better for us that everything
should be owned in common.
Private property Why, that is
one of our most ineradicable instincts.
"a Southern planter once gave an
old top hat Of his to one of his slaves.
He saw the slave returning from
church the next Sunday in a rain
storm. The slaves head was bare.
Rain beat on 1t and dripped from it In
torrents. AS for the top hat, he car
ried 1t carefully sheltered under his
coat.
Washington called the planter,
why don't you protect your head from
the rain instead of protecting that
worthless old hatP
"Wash chuckled.
"'Boss, man. he called back, hits
like dish-yere. Nah haid belong ter
you, but de ole hats NAH own.'"-
Detroit Free Press.
One of life's peculiarities is that the
world is seldom watching a man when
n
The Clio messenger. (Clio, Mich.) 1907-current, 1922-05-11
"Luclferous.n Illuminated.

Lloyd George is said to have used
the word ''luciferous." An unusual
adjective, but not, we think, an inven-
ton of his. An Englishman asked an
acquaintance what he would under
stand by "a luciferous story" The
other replied: Like one of yours; a
The Clio messenger. (Clio, Mich.) 1907-current, 1922-05-11
ALIENS EllI.EASE DOES II

When shoes pinch or cornB and bunions
ache. get a package of ALIENS FOOT
EASE the antise ptic powder 20 be shaken into
the shoes. 1t takes the sting out OF corns
and bunions, gives instant relief TO Smarting,
Aching, Swollen feet. 100000 pounds OF
powder for the feet were used by our Army
and Navy during the observation-disclosures.
The Clio messenger. (Clio, Mich.) 1907-current, 1922-05-11

H Il ir y i ana and
took off her star
shaped crown and
La d d o W n her
best wand.
81 do enjoy the
beautiful things 1
see when l go
a-traveling," S h e
added.
Tell us every
thing you saw"
said the Fairies.
You know we al
W n VS. Xix e t o
hear"
"Oh, | saw so
IN a n Y. 10 vel Y
spring gardens. !
saw lovely purple
GRO c u s es being
The Clio messenger. (Clio, Mich.) 1907-current, 1922-05-11
Lame. Perhaps.

Blobb-There is always room at the
top.
Neville-Yes. but the majority Of
people are always waiting for a lift
to take them up.-Answers.
The Clio messenger. (Clio, Mich.) 1907-current, 1922-05-11
An Elaborate Menu

Il understand the Laplanders eat
candles' Must be a big to do over
a birthday cake"
The Clio messenger. (Clio, Mich.) 1907-current, 1922-05-11
ANOTHER TRIP

"I've had another nice trip" said
the Fairy Queen, as she came back to
The Clio messenger. (Clio, Mich.) 1907-current, 1922-05-11

"why do they call 1t the silver
mooni"
because It comes out In quarters
and halves"
The Clio messenger. (Clio, Mich.) 1907-current, 1922-05-11
His Business.

Brown-"That man gets on peoples
nerves" Goose-"Oh! Why?" "Oh,
he's a dentist !"-London Answers.
The Clio messenger. (Clio, Mich.) 1907-current, 1922-05-11

One of life's peculiarities is that the
world is seldom watching a man when
he is doing good.