davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Arizona republican., 1922-02-22
STREET ETIQUETTE
BY Or. FRANK CRANE
Copyright 1921, by Frank Crane)

One reveals ones self by his manner of walking
along, by his sidewalk manners as it were
Strolng lesurely, smoking cigarette and swing
ing cane indicates that gentleman is Of the idle
rch and even he roosts at night in hall bedroom he
sometimes wishes to create this impression.
II you are doctor and are out of patients, it is
excellent idea to hurry through Main street with your
medicine satchel wear worried look, don't speak to
your friends, walk around town little and hurry back
The exercise will do you good and the advertisement is
strictly ethical
whether you acquainted or not Take chance.
And look pleasant. The politician (before election)
and the pastor should stay home they have Crouch
-Four girls should lock arms and walk abreast. This
attracts more attention 1t also makes people have to
get off the sidewalk and walk in the gutter which is
awful funny.
In passing by the American House. where all travel
ing men sitting out in 'front.' girls should look neither
to the right nor to the left Straight ahead Mabel and
watch your step!
When gentleman is conversing with dynamic
blonde in the street and laughing heartily WILL
and suddenly sees the mssus bearing down him from
around the corner, keep on laughing, don't stop and
walk away. You'd just well laugh while the laughing
is good.
In carrying an umbrella in the rain, hold it down
before you you cannot who is coming Thus you
will be popular with the specialists eye nose and face
troubles.
When you are finishing conversation with any
one don't look around you leave but back away for
doing you may get knocked down by rapidly moving
one does that sort Of thing.
Judges bishops college presidents, and mayors
should not whistle on the street.
In walking out with your dog on the crowded side
walk, long leash possible Thus the little
darling, as he to and fro will have opportunity
to get the string tangled about ones ankle causing
him to fall thus adding to your popularity and enabling
you to learn some words
Insult only small boys and crpples do not insult
policemen and prize fighters.
Sleeping the sidewalk is not considered good
form since the advent of Prohibition.
On circus day ladies from the country are permit
ted to sit the curb stone and nurse babies while wait
ing for the parade.
If a gentleman in a checked suit and spats greets
you cordially calls you Mr. Jones and asks how all the
folks in Omaha and your happens to be Smith,
and you hail from Oshkosh do not tell him the truth tell
him that he is mistaken that your is Sinclair Lewis
and you live Main Street in Gopher Prairie he be-
lieves you, he is not literary.
Arizona republican., 1922-02-22
THE ONCE OVER
n III Dill IKnc ~

By H. /. PHILLIPS


alter, or launder them as desired.
Faces called for and returnedl An
faces lost in transit will be replaced
BY something just as good!
The plastic surgeon specializes in
taking up the slack places. removi-.w
bagginess under the eyes, and taking
the overhang away from chins He
cuts away the superfluous skin. thus
allowing the face TO slip back into
its normal position
Spare the knife and spoil the face
is his slogan.
Tie makes one chin grow where two
have srown before
OF course, great judgment is re-
quired The plastic surgeon is fire.
.quently called upon TO decide wheth-
er, In justice TO the patient 1t
wouldn't be better to remodel the
face or just destroy It,
Then, too, there are some faces it
is impossible to damage. Many a
face would look better off than on.
But assuming face Is in fair con-
dition. the plastic surgeon must ex-
ercise great care, Ii is a horrifying
experience for a lady TO approve
plans for new face. award the con-
tract, undergo the reconstruction. and
then find that her face is worse than
it was originally. II such a thing
is possible.
Another annoying experience Is 10
visit the plastic surgeon during the
rush hour and discover that evening
that YOU have part Of Mrs Joness
face and she has part OF yours.
Arizona republican., 1922-02-22
1BcrtOnBraleyS
b Daily Poem
MzhGaeS&H

When I take walks, to vary EN-
/ often go and stare
At fish in the aquarium;
And. as | watch them there
Swimming about so YEARLY
With tails hat slowly swish.
l whisper very drearily
Poor fish"
For though they're graceful, sinuous,
Their eyes are bored and blank.
Because of trips continuous
About that little tank;
Perhaps that life seems gay to them
AS any one could wish
But look on and say TO them
Poor fish!"
Yet they. no doubt, are wondering
What can find in life
With all its human blundering
And worrying and strife;
Doubtless as they look out at me
They think. "Oh tush and pish,
And, il they could. they'd shout a me
Poor fish!
Arizona republican., 1922-02-22

We congratulate the senate its emergence
fropn impasse which we have been informed was
meant only to fill in the necessarily empty period
OF legislative season. The senate's amendment to
House Bill from which it receded it appears was
after all only gesture concerning the magnfcence
Of which democrats and republicans will disagree
perhaps in the coming biennial campaign.
While it is true that it retarded no other legis-
lation, there risk that it would produce
psychological effect upon the minds Of the members
that would be manifested later in the session when
sidered.
The accomplishments of the session must depend
upon harmonious relation between the parties. The
republicans have the most to gain from accomplish
meht, something of which the democrats are well
aware. They have the opportunity to block it at
any stage they choose and it would be possible for
them to do it so deftly that the blame cannot be
fixed upon them the convincing of any but repub
lican voters
Thus the burden rests on the republicans and
they cannot afford to make it harder for themselves
by inviting party division.
1t would be far better If the two parties in the
legislature could be brought into friendly rivalry
10 see which can accomplish the most for the people
than to enter into contest in which party
should seek to check accomplishment the other
should try to secure all the major credit for it.
II the game Of politics should be started and
played TO the prevention of legislation the people win
not be slow to detect the identity of the party which
it.
Arizona republican., 1922-02-22
Or nj. Feet AGAIN

"A man may be down but not out" is an
.,hor,sm of the Salvation Army which has proved
an incentive to many a hopeless supne man to
struggle to his feet again before the end of the
count senator Reed only two years ago was down
md being trampled by angry democratic colleagues
one could travel through Missouri then and emerge
nth Tho impression that the chief pastime of the
.,,oretrn commonwealth cussin' Reed in
rt,al prepared at the White House and much used
,nonr the Wilson democrats at the Senate. They
,erc all Wilson democrats
n ever politician seemed to have come to
III, end Of his rope it was Hon. James A. Keed OF
Arizona republican., 1922-02-22
Will Ireland Remain Peaceful?

OF Ulster since an Irishman first
fashioned a shillalah and found no
better target than the head OF an
enemy.
Most OF Cavan, which is the south
ernmost OF the counties accredited TO
Ulster by historians. never belonged
to that section. In truth. a map show
ing the real political Ulster would be
collection shreds and patches. Of
shades and of percentages. 1t would
be fairly solid al far south as North
Londonderry and North Armagh are
concerned. but after that it would go
all to pieces. Even Londonderry City.
the industrial prosperity of which
has induced a flow of cheap labor
from County Donegal, on its west
row has Nationalistic majority. Ty-
rome and Fermanagh both have slight
Nationalist majorities. The figures
by religion show 1875 Catholics
and 90,746 Protestants.
To mark of certain counties and TO
label one part as Ulster and the 9TH
er part as southern Ireland, as was
done by the act of parliament OF
1920, has been found to be a hope
lessly bad arrangement. II was cer-
tain TO lead to trouble. Such de-
Elimination includes thousands of red
sands of equally red hot Unlonists.
Bitter Feeling Still Exists
IL it be true that Lloyd George
told the Irish delegation TO go ahead
and include in. the free state some
of the sections Sir James Craig says
Michael Collins intends TO have as
parts OF the free state. then Ulster
probably means to fight before these
countits are taken from it.
A boundary commission might set
tie the question in a general way
within a very few weeks. Certainly it
could with respect to Armagh. Mon
Afghan, Fermanagh and Donegal. Ev-
cry mans religion and politics are
known in Ulster from the cradle to
his grave. A partition line that would
hold half OF Armagh out of Ulster
and bring in one third of Monaghan:
that would leave out half of Fer
managh and bring in sections of DON
egal. would result in a fair partition
TO most OF the residents of those
four counties.
SO far as Tyrone is concerned. any
land division appears to be hopeless
There are $4,000 Catholics and TO
900 Protestants in this county. Yet
they are so criss- crossed and inter-
mingled that any attempt to say
Whlch part OF 1t belonged to Ulster
and which to the Irish Free State
would tax the wisdom OF new Sol
omon. Tyrone lies in the heart OF
Ulster Any division OF it undoubt-
edly would result in endless clashes
How Plan Would Work
The dehminations recounted here
would put approximately 100000 I'll
stermen in the free state and the
same number OF free Staters in Ul-
ster and it appears that something
of this nature must be done il the
Irish problem is settled without re-
sort to arms.
Sir James Craig says however,
that Ulster counties as stipulated in
the act OF parliament of 1920 will be
considered by his government as be-
longing to the northern section. lie
refuses TO accept the services of a
boundary commission, saying Ulster
was not consulted by Lloyd George
or the Irish delegation which solved
the differences between southern Ire
land and the British crown. lie de-
clares the act OF parliament was ac-
cepted by Ulster and that the Brit
Arizona republican., 1922-02-22

1t is no wonder that the Pullman company wants
the surcharge removed. not further to dis
courage Pullman traffic. Now the desires OF the
company in this respect may be further met by
reduction of the fare made by the company, which
itself is somewhat fepellent
During the war period when all these charges
piled upon another It made little difference
in the volume Of business. People who had had
much money now had more than they knew what to
do with They could not spend it all on $40 silk
shirts, $40 shoes $125 suits OF clothes There's
a limit to the number of shirts shoes and clothes
people can wear comfortably They therefore
rather thankful to the Pullman company and the ad
ministration for devising this avenue Of escape
for their money.
But time came when there was not so much
unfamiliar Even the persons to whom at first
It and strange, had become acquainted
II they had any left, with its virtues and cung
to it as an old friend. All over the country there
came = disposition to money. Even the
who were used to it and who had plenty OF it
and had not spent it recklessy during the war, be-
came further conservative.
Many of them who had occupied Pullman berths
for only parts of nights and Pullman seats in the
daytime found the red plush of the day coach the
moulding Of the chairs sufficiently comfortable
for ten and twelve hour journey. In little while
many Of the Pullmans were running almost empty.
Not long ago the sole occupant OF standard from
Houston, Texas, to Los Angeles, lone woman.
The surcharge. moreover, yeas nfiction in
which during the flush period the Pullman company
had no financial interest 1t imposed by the
railroad administration to help the railroads out
additional taxes tickets, fare and surcharge
levied to help the government out.
Arizona republican., 1922-02-22
OLD FACES MADE AS GOOD
AS NEW

no NEW
Her eyes are like two glowing Goals,
Her checks are like the clover;
In fact, she'd be good looking il
Her face could be done over!
Is your face satisfactory? Not only
to yourself. but to others who have
to stand for it? If not. why not?
There no longer is any excuse for a
woman struggling through life with
a second or third class face. Just
because a lady was out OF luck when
nature was distributing faces is no
reason why she should stick to the
one she drew.
If your face isn't all that you'd
have IL, turn it in and get a new one.
Thanks to Plastic Surgery, the move
ment for the Reconstruction Of De-
vastated faces is going forward by
leaps and bounds.
You'd be surprised TO know how
many prominent women have turned
in their faces for alteration and re-
pairs this season.
off with the old face and on with
the new, az the saying goes.
Plastic surgeons are springing up
thicker than chiropractors Gf it is
possible for any one TO be thicker
than chiropractor). II your face
isn't all that il has been cracked up
to be let a plastic surgeon crack il
up along new lines.
There is nothing a plastic surgeon
can't do TO A face whether
il deserves il or not. He viii re
novate, repair, remodel, reconstruct
Arizona republican., 1922-02-22
REAL TRAVEL

A party OF drinking and talking in
saloon One of the had travelled a great deal and
liked to talk about it. He telling the others all
about where he had been and what he had seen.
An old topper who standing slipping his
whiskey heard the traveller talk and easing to him
tapped him the back and said:
my friend have you ever had the D. T.s?"
why no." replied the talkatiye one, "Why do
you ask"
well then you amt ever been anywhere or seen
anything" replied the old topper he walked off,
Judge.
Arizona republican., 1922-02-22
Canada,s new premier. Mackenzie

Canada's premier, MackenZie King, has the
distinction of heading the government of country
from which his grandfather was forced to flee a
"rebel" and term in Jail. In 1887 William
Lyon Mackenzie the grandfather, besieged Toronto
with the intention OF setting up a provisional gov
ernment to gain wider autonomy for what is now
the province of Ontario. The revolt failed and Mac
kenzie fled to the United States. He and his fol-
lowers seized and fortified Navy Island, in the Nj
agara river He arrested at Buffalo for violating
the neutrality laws Of the United States convicted
and sentenced to prison from which he pardoncd.
He returned to Canada when that country granted
amnesty TO all who participated in the rebellion.
Arizona republican., 1922-02-22
By Ripley

ish premier declared in a letter to
Eamonn de Valera last July that the
settlement must allow for full rec
ognition OF the existing powers and
privileges OF the parliament and gov
ernment of northern Ireland cannot
be abrogated except by their own
consent"
left the free state leaves the question
TO be decided by armed force unless
Lloyd Georges cleverness can find a
way to circumvent resort to a civil
war by Ulster men and the adherents
Of the new dominion.
Arizona republican., 1922-02-22

!. Is Mr. Grumpson a public spir-
ted citizen?"
I'm afraid not. He won't even
wear a ribbon on his coat lapel when
there's a convention in town"
What's his objection?n
He says 1t makes him look too
much like a prize bull."--B Blrming-
ham Age Herald
Arizona republican., 1922-02-22
Patagonia may be linked with what is nt

Patagonia may be linked with what is now the
thckly settled section OF Argentina if officials are
able to carry their plans for constructing railways
connecting with the present system Six hundred
and twenty-tw miles of narrow gauge railways are
planned. The region for the most part is barren
Patagonia produces meat, wool and other products
and at present is linked with Buenos Aires only by
irregular steamers which makes it difficult for
ranchers to market their products.
Arizona republican., 1922-02-22

the time OF CONTIGUOUS the educa-
tion of The literary class included
what was known as the six accom-
plishments archery. horsemanship.
rites, music, history and mathematics.
a.. .lf ! spoil an envelope bought
ready stamped, can ! cut out the
the stamp and paste it on another
envelope? g. S. NJ.
A. The Post Office Department
says that embossed stamps cut from
embossed stamped envelopes are not
accepted for postage. A spoiled an
used embossed staped envelope may
be redeemed at postage value when
presented by the original purchaser.
----C----
HIS EXCUSE
Prof. Bugg-I noticed you were
talking during my lecture this morn
ing.
STUDENT beg your pardon, sir.
do not recall it. I must have been
talking in my sleep.-Houstan Post.
-o-
Kettledrum was, it is believed
brought TO Europe BY returning
crusaders.
Arizona republican., 1922-02-22
EVEN TEEN

Adams (sternly)--Always keep In
mind, woman, that my word is law
in the garden.
Eve (sweetly)-It's one thing to
make law, old dear. and quite
another thing to enforce it.-Buffalo
Exnress
Arizona republican., 1922-02-22
BUDDHISM IN HUNGARY

BUDDHISM IN HUNGARY
BUDAPEST. Hungary--Interes in
the teachings ot Buddha is develop
ing here. through the medium OF
spiritualism. A girl has been found
here through whose lips Ruddha
himself is said 10 deliver his sayings
to the awestruck audience.
Arizona republican., 1922-02-22
The caruso Fund National committe

The Caruso Fund National Committee IS coIIeet-
ing $1000000 fund, to be known as the Caruso
American Memorial Foundation. This fund is to be
in assisting deserving young musicians through
scholarships and for the promotion of musical appre
citation. One-hah the income of the fund is to be
used in promoting musical appreciation and the other
half in making scholarship awards Half the schol-
srshlp award will be applied to instrumental students
and composition and the remainder to voice culture
Arizona republican., 1922-02-22

Forty thousand volumes OF wild West" detective
and Indian stories piled up and burned in Ber
lin under the supervision of the Association for the
Protection OF German Youths The association has
given the owners classical works in exchange.
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1922-10-11
WOOD.
Did Not Need Wood, but Couldn't Is
cape 1t.

s'I don't need wood said Holling-
brook Jones as he got out of his wooden
bed He stepped on rug that had been
woven in wooden looms. He pressed an
electric button held in the wall by
wooden support, the wire to which had
been wound on a wooden spool. The
wall OF, the house, the paper on it, were
made of wood. His valet came holding
his masters coat on a wooden hanger
DRAW my bath" said Jones. As he
slid over the smooth porcelain of the
bathtub he repeated, Il don't need
wood" but he forgot for the moment
that the pattern from which the mold
of the tub was made was of wood.
That morning his valet shaved him
with a razor kept in a wooden case.
He walked down flight of wooden
stairs, looked out of wooden easements
and took great pride in the highly pol
ished mahogany banister as his caress-
ing hand slipped over its smooth sur
face.
Mr.. Jones sat in a richly hand carved
wooden chair and at a wooden table on
which his breakfast was served. He ate
some wonderful griddle cakes from flour
gristed III mills constructed mostly of
wood. The -four came from grain reaped
with machinery mostly of wood, the
grain came from seed Sown by device
mostly of wood, by a farmer who had
drawn the grain in wooden wagon IN
bags that were wood products. Jones
had maple syrup on his griddle cakes
and washed the cakes down with coffee
breWed in pure water that Sprang from
the ground in the cool shade of the for
est-sweet, crystal-clear water that can
only be compounded by the alchemy of
the forest floor.
But Mr.. Jones being self-willed man
and strong in old-fashioned ideas, said
again. Il don't need any wood, as he
lighted his morning cigarette with q
match that burned because it was Of
wood. He had a nice warm ride down
town i'm his limousine, the seat and top
OF which were wood. He read the
morning paper half through and
dropped it. remarking disgustedly,
That's made of wood too and then
effectively. Wood certainly does play
large part in my affairs
That day the Omnipresent wood prop
lem confronted him again and again.
The pen in his hand was principally
made of wood. He observed he was
completely hemmed in by wood. the
floor. the desk, the picture frames, the
ceiling, He boarded a train at IL
o'clock for New York and sighed, Il am
free from the wood spectre at last, but
/ when he handed the conductor his ticket
J there it was again.
As he looked out of the car window
/ he noticed that the very foundation OF
| the railroad was made of wood ties. He
! lad to admit that wood was used IN
about everything that contributed TO ms
! husiness and comfort and as he glanced
at the forested hills he sighed, My
/ health too - For the first time the
/ sense of his utter dependence on the
| forest was aroused.-New York College
of Forestry at Syracuse University.
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1922-10-11
Thee. Is So Much to Be Done.

No way has been found for making
heroism easy, even for the scholar.
Labor, iron labor, is for him. The
world was created as an audience for
him; the atoms of which il is made
are opportunities. Read the Tcftorm-
ance of Bentley, of Gibbon. Of Cotier,
Geoffroy Saint-Hilaire, Laplace. He
can toll terribly" said Cecil of Sir
Walter Raleigh. These few words
sting and bite and lash US when we
are frivolous. Let us get out Of the
way of their blows by making them
true to ourselves. There is so much
to be done that we ought to begin
quickly to bestir ourselves. This day.
labor of ours, we confess, has hitherto
a certain emblematic air, like the an
nual blowing and sowing of the en-
peror of China Let US make 1t an
honest sweat. Let the scholar meas
ure his valor by his power to cope
with intellectual giants. Leave 9TH
ers to count votes and calculate
stocks.-Emerson
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1922-10-11
1900 BOTTLES SET ADRlFT.
Fisheries Bureau Hopes TO Get Data ON
Ocean Currents.

In connection with its studies of the
distribution and movements of larval
fishes and other marine organism, the
United States bureau of fisheries has
undertaken the investigation of ocean
currents of the North Atlantic coast and
for that purpose has deposited about
1,500 drift bottles. These have been
dropped on three lines, running. respec-
lively. for !. distance of about 70 miles
off Cape Elizabeth, 80 miles seward
from Chatham. Mass, and $50 miles
seward from Sandy Hook. The sta
lions are 1T intervals of about one-haIf
mile, two bottles being dropped at each.
with drags at different depths. the bot
ties being weighted so as to float with
out small part of the neck exposed.
Each bottle contains a card Offering a
reward of % cents if sent to the bureau
OF fisheries with information concerning
the date and location at which it was
found. More than 200 of these cards
have already been received.
A statement issued by the bureau saws
that the investigation is being conducted
IN cooperation with the international
committee on marine Investigations. on
winch. IN addition to the United States
the Canadian and Newfoundland govern
nlentS are represented