The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1922-02-08
ON SECOND THOUGHT
BY JAY e. HOUSE
tFrom Philadelphia Public Ledger)
The Columns War Record.


The Columns War Record.
You must be proud of your war
record writes one who signs himself
Tommy Atkins" and who disagrees
somewhat violently with the columns
attitude toward the bonus. Lets see
it in print. 1 just know you must of
been a wonder" We are ever ready
to oblige. Some of the details of our
war record have faded from memory.
These we recall offhand:
Committed a war speech to memory
and delivered it many times.
Appointed two draft boards, thru
neither of which a single Stacker
| oozed.
Bought a Liberty Bond.
Wrote 11,719 letters of recon-
| mendation for young men who wanted
| TO get into the various training camps;
some of them got in.
Welcomed the Belgian commission,
consisting of two generals and a
| colonel to the middle west in a speech
/ in which the Battle of Liege was won
/ by the Belgian army-something the
Belgians couldn't do themselves.
Committed a Red Cross speech to
memory.
Declined to ask for a commission
! to do Red Cross or Y. NJ. C. A. work
in France. Could have had one, but
thought there already were too many
| joy-riders in that branch of the serv-
| ice.
| Refused to worry because the
American soldiers were smoking Gig
| arettes.
| welcomed the Russian commission.
consisting of a general and two aides.
Discovered that the tongue of one of
! the aides was hanging out; saw to it
that he had a drink and delivered it
in person.
Kept open house for the soldiers at
I
the guest room and served $50 fried
chicken" meals.
Declined to join in the general
alarm over the fear that America S
young men would learn to drink in
France.
Caught and tried to punish 500
/ bootIeggers who were peddling in
| ferior ''hooch' to the soldiers at ex-
orb.tant prices; chased 400 bootleg
gers, who got away.
/ Marched to the railroad station with
ecearly every contingent of troops
/ drafted from the community.
Sent seventy-six women who were
preying on the soldiers to the state
farm for an indefinite period. Drove
more than 100 others out of town and
! kept them out.
| Rode in twenty-seven parades.
Learned to keep in step with a body
| of marching men.
| L,
the war was over.
Our taste in people is catholic. 1t
has been our good fortune to know all
! kinds, and to like most of them. In
a former environment, to which we
sometimes refer the gamut OF our per-
sonal acquaintance ran from May. the
| extraordinary waitress, to the leisure
class. All of them contributed SOME
| thing to our knowledge and enter
| tainment. But what we started out to
/ say was that the best behaved, the
bestmannered and most unaffected
group of persons we have met in
| theatrical company with whom we
fraternized in a Philadelphia club late
Thursday night and early Friday
morning.
| We say this because it seems worth
saying. A good deal of the venom
eked by those who make a profession
of fixing moral and professional
standards spatters upon the theatrical
profession. 1t is our pleasure to know
a goodly number of the "mummers'
rather well. But when we wish to
view humanity in the manifestations
of excuses into which it falls. we hunt
Iup a private party composed of plain
citizens and citizenesses.
|
Tied Lewis Greenwich Village Fol-
lies" company.
at crave no comprehensive review OF
'Cytherea,' writes Experienced" Il
is taken for granted that, as usual
you have been bored stiff But, at
one married man to another and be-
tween ourselves. l ask if from your
bleacher seat by the bull-ring you are
| not able to note the superior skill OF
| Fannie Random in planting the band
erilla. And her uncanny intuition in
locating the precise nerve which
causes the male animal to see red.
We had not, We are frank TO say,
regarded Fannie's facility as unusual
We had considered her just a fair,
average performer: good enough, but
nothing to write home about.
|. It seemed. to US that Fannie rose to
genius in only one of her manifesto
1