davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1922-07-25

Heres . LADY Who has 1ieeovsre9
Q very simple way TO- onuoe the
doctor, and co0men1ed hef Asfh-
q TO many other ladies' In the same
peedicament:
nv. Dear Dr.. Brady: II . rsceat
talk you nd that any man Or wo-
man less than - years Of aee ought
10 find no great difficulty n doing
. dozen forward and backward
rolls every day. ! cannot testify
q to the backward rolls bat yCu
may b interested 70 know that 10
years fRom the tine ] had turned
. somersaslt / began again under
the stimulus OF your persuasion.
and ut 81 ] rejoice In both the az
srciss and the ability TO accomplish
It. Many times / am obliged to
curl up In . ball and flop over Just
to prove to doubling friends that
I really can do It
+ began somersaulting at your
suggestion two years ago. Would
you advise stopping the somef-
saults ct so or thefeabouts? That
will give me 20 more years!
~ Yours truly, c. L.
n Shy husband is q physician
and watches my morning perform
ance with much amusement.
This 10 a fine letter, postscript
and all, except for one error. The
lady speaks Of somersaulting as
exercise" Somersaulting is a
mere mechanical procedure, q very
beneficial one IL carried out daily.
1t least for folks who quarrel SO
much with their circulation ana d.
gestion and all that sort Of thing.
but let US not try to persuade our
selves that somersaulting is exer-
else. Most Of us need exercise
every day whether We somersault
or not.
Speaking Of amusing the doctor,
now that I am on the subject, am
greatly amused every little while
BY some tat woman who writes in
to saay that my kennel" treatment
to say that my kennel treatment
length Of the fiat nearly every day
for six weeks and lost not an ounce
Queer how persistent some folks
are in the belief that somersaults
will reduce or that l have ever SC
much as limited that somersaults
will reduce.
The correspondents husband
isn't the first doctor for whose
amusement l have been responsible
l might publish quite an imposing
list of physicians who have frs
been amused, then challenged and
finally converted to some of ths
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1922-07-25

@. When was the longest game
played in big league baseball! J..
B. w.
A. The biggest game in the ma
jor leagues was played on May /,
1920. This was q National league
game between Brooklyn and Bosz
ton which lasted Is innings and
ended in 4 tell.
/ @. Why is the raven regarded
as bird Il ill omen? K. r.
A. The black color. mournful
croak, chsrnel-house habits, to-
gether with the holiness, sagacity
and wariress of the bird, have
combined to make the raven an OBJ
ject of suerstitious fear and hate.
@. How can a pipe organ be
kept claai? z. S. ].
A. Usually pipe organs are kept
| in proper condition BY using .
vacuum deaneY.
Q. In England do women law
yers hav, to wear . uniform! L.
B. G.
| A. Wmen must wear ordinary
bafristers wigs, completely cover
ing and concseling the hair. and
j the regulation barristers sowns
Dresses underneath must b dark,
high-neesed and long-slesved.-
i Q. Wat is the chamical compo-
sition ofthe o0ion: v. H n. o.
A TIE competition of this vego,
table ~ far ~ mineral eontant ID
concernd is: .0s calcium. q,
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1922-07-25

4 William Allen White. Kansas editor, put =
Jysstsr in HE once window declaring sympathy
With the striking Railroad shopnsn. And the
gevsrnor Of the state threatened to send him to
IN II vould b strange manipulation Of JUS
~ that weaA imprisoa . man for expressing
~ convictions II An industrial dispute. but
Stranger things have happened in this country
q disputes between capital and labor.
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1922-07-25
The Daily Short Story

doctor! Let him in, and stay out till
he goes-do!"
1t was a miserable half hour for
Jim. sitting in the half dark of the
parlor, downstairs, wondering what
the doctor would and wrong with
Sally, and promising himself that
all sorts gof reforms would begin
If only she was spared.
He would show her!
He recalled the day when he bad
married her. 1t had been a double
wedding. Sally's girl chum marry
ing chap with whom the girls had
both gone to school. And it had
ended in the divorce court-that
other marriage.
Its no wonder that so many
do" he sighed into the dark. I'VE
don't act up enough. or maybe it's
that We do act up-too much! Well.
Sally has been patient-she de-
serves"
Pacing the floor restlessly-a
foolish thing to do in that half
lighted room, Jim found his PROM
ises come to a sudden pause as he
fell over the long rockers of the
, newest chair. Rubbing his shins.
swearing softly, and blaming Sally
for putting the thing directly where
he was sure to .have fallen over it,
he hobbled into the hall as the doc
tor came downstairs.
Anything serious!" His concern
was real. at least.
Nothing worse than one of these
ispring colds that everybody seems
to be taking a turn at I'll leave a
prescription that ought to get her
out of bed in a couple of days"
The doctors cheerfulness, per-
haps, was the reason for Jim 5
haste to get upstairs. He took them
two at time.
Il believe l feel better already,
was Sally's greeting as he pushed
open her door.
Huh! Doctor said you weren't
sick at ALL" Sally's husband stood
cycling her scornfully now. Such
. fuss you made over your sly in
| situations about dying, and all
those things! Had to take it out
telling me what a hard time you've
had Of it with me. Anyone might
think I was really the meanest-"
Hurry. if you're going to get
that prescription filled tonight. .
Sally yawned and turned her pill
Flow to find . cool spot Its after
10 now.
Jim shrugged himself into a coat
and rubbed his hat with his sleeve
] You might bringg me a little ice
cream. The doctor said could cal
lit"
Bring you nothing" growled
Jim. You'll be costing me enough
with druggist charges and doctor.
bills"
i But he took the stairs very soft.
II ~, and Sally did not catch even az
echo Of the closing door as be wen
into the street
i In Is minutes he was back, tn,
much-wanted ice cream in . papel
boz, and Sally's fevoYite magazine
tanker BY . basket Of selected
; fIutt. vas under his arm.
Thought you'd be too lazy Il
even try to get MP tomorrow" b.
; grunted. so to keep you from set
] ting No crazy I got you somethin,
to read. And, just SO you won
, have me running my legs OF wait
] ingg to you / called Josie on tn
iAyu9 afore nho0A-shA'R saS.din,
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1922-07-25

magnesium. % potassium, 02 so
dunn. IL phosphorus, 90 chlorine,
.06 sulphur, .0005 iron.
@. What 10 the chemical eoapc-
word fortnight! o. B. -.
A. Fortnight is a contraction o.
II nights. Time was once reck-
oned by nights and winters.
Q. What should be done for
dog il = snake bites it? H. J.
A. The Public Health service
says that q solution of perman.
sanate Of potash should be applies
70 the wound as soon as possible
Painting \ freshly enlarged wound
with iodine may also serve the puf-
pose. In any case tie bandase
tightly around the limb between the
bite and the body and consult
veterinarian a. soon a. possible.
@. Is water fattsaing: L. B. c.
A. DR.. Harvey Wiley says thai
water is not fattenins. :
Q. Did the Indians understand
fertilizing of land: P. H. S.
A They found from experiences
that placing small fish in the bill
with corn made the stalk grow
longer and greener. They though
the fish fed The corn. They wefe
night ~ TIE dseayed fish furnishes
nitrogen which the plant needee'
They also found that ashes seal;
tered on the land where corn vas
70 BE- piaatsd Improved the yiels'
. It 10 now known that ashes con:
tain potassium and phosphorus sna
Improve the plants. .
q what is the quotation ahoel
old friends, OLE wind. old books
ETC.? n. 4. Z.
A. Il love everything that's old
old fYie4ds. old tfmes. Old riannefe
old bookA old vine Is from Act
of Oliver Coaoqntfh's "She aeeoSl
70 cQ0auoI. 81
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1922-07-25

no matter how willingly and effectively the
esternoss Of states rsspoad to Prsstdent Hard
heb demand for the protection Of nca-unioa
hAur In the miAes there 10 still psrtinsnee In
~ question put By Mr. Lewis and Mr.. Comp
~: who viii do the minins!- Mining II .
|tschnical Job. requiring expegieac&
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1922-07-25

4 Another evidence that the world 10 steadily
Ethg back to normalcy. despite the frequent
ooGhacks, u seen In the announcement that
Wsesr and Fields. the famous German coined
- have hsssd and made up after separa-
- Of 10 years. They are to appear together
~ Vaudeville the coming season.
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1922-07-25
OH, WHAT IS LOVE!
By Mary ]. Hitchcock.

az s3oAx - AAAeN-VVN>e
Copyright. 1922, by Wheeler Syn
dictate. Incl
What did the doctor say. sally ~
Signing heavily, Jim looked at his
wife's pale face among the pillows.
Under the softened light Of the
sickroom she looked SO frail- the
girlish slenderness which was real
ly one of her chief charms seemed
just Ivkinniness. Sick for several
days. she had failed to get up 70
prepare his breakfast as usual. and
he had hurried home from work,
anxiously wondering what the doc
tor had said.
He hasn't been here-yet," Sally
answered. Josie phoned for him
first thing this morning. but he said
it would be late before he could get
around"
well. how do you feel?" Jim sat
down heavily on the edge Of the
bed.
"Oh, no worse than I've been
feeling" 1t was the best that Sally
could think to say in an attempt at
cheerfulness. You haven't been
worrying about me?''
How can I help it," Jim reached
for Sally's hand. and noted with
growing concern how hot and dry it
seemed. III anything should hap
pen to you, Sally"
'"You would go looking for Mum.
Der Two in little while" Sally S
playfulness did not irritate Jim. II
seemed to make him sad.
I'D look long time before
found anyone like you" Again he
reached for her hand, and tried to
hold it. when Sally would have
pulled 1t away. Il haven't been q
very good husband to you. have I
Sally"
Don't be silly!" Sally told him
you've never heard me say so!.
"Of course you wouldn't"
Because l couldn't"
well, In a way L haven't beer
SO bad" Jim admitted slowly. 81
haven't beat you, and l don't re.
member that I ever got drunk
even since prohibition - but,
haven't done As much as I might
rs much . l ought to have dops
! for you!"
Sally looked at her husband
thoughtfully.
You aren't sick, tool" she asked
presently. Wouldn't it be awful il
both Of us should be sick at once!'
Jim cleared his throat. "Yoy
don't complain-you wouldn't-no
even when I've been ugly ~ sin
You've always paid me back will
Understanding but kindness
You're = good woman, Sally-I'v'
always said So"
"Id like to catch you sayinI
anything else!" Sally's wonder va
growing, but she hastily tucked he
hands beneath the sheet - Jin
reached for them q third time.
IF I've ever been mean and ugl,
1t vas just carelessness," he wen
on. another fellow might have ap
tpreeiated you moro, but you know
Z w oA1SyS AVHOA y0&A uSVV
thought how you might, some day
Be taken sick"
well. and II ami" Sail
gasped. Anyone would think 20
are afraid I'm going to die!"
IF you don't-if you get over thi
I'M never forget that kind word
lcost nothing. I'll make il up to 70,
sally"
Sally pulled her aehing bones
the far side Of the bed. She In
never discovered this crazy strea
In Jim Alarmed. even more tina
. little frightaped. sAe surveys
him incredulously.
RI don't blame you"-Jim y,
speaking again-''Ive bean brat
TO you
you've been nothing a IL sos
bat you talk like . fool." Sail
mapped TAen. - the Aunl
sounded. 1aAk goodness. u
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1922-07-25

QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS.
July Hay Rwse.
Can you suggest any treatment o.
preventive Tor the kind Of hay rev.
q which usually comes about July!
What do ron say Of using some
good balm in the nose. P. b. =. !.
Ansver-Many cases OF ragweed
pollinnsis begin about then or . bit
later. Have you had the innocpia-
ton, test made TO determine what
plant or weed is responsible for
your case? That 10 the best plan.
and when the causitive pollen has
been 10 identified a course OF hypo-
dermic injections Of suitably atten-
uated pollen extract will give the
best satisfaction. Some sufferers
find much relief from the use Of
bofic acid solution. about heap
ing teaspoonful Of boric acid In .
pint Of boiled water, at about body
temperature, as spray for the
nose and a gargle, many times In
the day throughout the season. 9th
ers prefer to use some bland oil,
spraying the nose with = vaporizef.
But Man IL No Animal
Since all animals except man live
in their natural state 10 times the
period required to attain matur-
ity, believe man has natural her
itaEe of at least zoo years and he
would reach this reward BY a well
balanced scientific physical and
mental training. ]. c. F.
Answsr-Some good reader sent
me the other day a description oil
thA daily exercises taken by THE
Tiger" Of France. It seems that M
Clemenceau, famous for his abound
ing energy and already past the
three score and ten station, devotes
20 or 80 minutes daily to . system
of exercises not unlike the Brady
symphony. And tho great wal
premier takes these exercises Al
natural. Great stuff. Trouble il
SO many men are not animals ant
always imagine or rather imagine
they must always have something
on. This is Just one small feature
We have a great many reforms Il
make before We can hope to re
gain that natural heritage. The ul
ltra-refinements of civilized exis
tence make US old at what shout,
!; be our prime.
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1922-07-25
I ~
q u
III ID
And when I seold him
He IL nd indsed:
Thank you.
L. MoouEUR

L. MoQuEUR.
A CHINESE fortune tallef In Fri.eo h..
tod Peggy Jcyce that she's going 10 -catcAe.r
a habytles boy: tvo CIR: ana that ~ Nh
b gtandmothsf q Is. Well, fss s. i fron
% % doubt fegU's past proves that she cer-
tainly vas bailt Tor sped
AMERICA b fAsts says Harriet honrna
y p Danger 4 1IJhg ~ plEitlally. :.
/ Bat dear h1y, ~ sDirifaossly.
n Ngs6a
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1922-07-25

cream. IL patted the pillows and
straighhnad the bed clothes. tuck
ing thse in around her neck,
"Thin I'm doing al this BE-
cause Hike to make Z nurse maid
Of myelf? he wheezed. well,
somebody has 10 look oat Tor you,
and ttfgets vie1e1 90 UA-
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1922-07-25

rs lucky for some oe the candidates this
ypar that Woodrow Wilson il not his old self.
bat sven his physical handicap may not pre-
vu1t him from taking hand In some Of the
eoitsstA II he does the fur will ny.
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1922-07-25

Another aged Chicagoan has gone to hos
pitpa for the monkey gland treatment We
havo been told men are descended from mon
ksys. Some OF them never advanced beyond
the monkey stage.
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1922-07-25

Young women swimmers on the Pacific
eoast are growing more exclusive in their com
paay. They now 60 bathing with rubber dolls
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1922-07-25

Attorney General Dausherty doesn't con-
eidsr the Railroad strike cerioss- That man
woeld consider cyclone sweet evening
hoesA
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1922-07-25

An industrial king says that It ID . great
fAitg 70 como from a state Of poverty. \ IL
r ~ come far enough from 1t.
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1922-07-25
Argus Information Bureau


ton Bureau ser Hs:ki. Director W.shnsc G. Give fun name n.
he being d- individual viii
PAID % annosyn
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1922-07-25

JAY G. sIGMuND.
BESIDES. dearly beloved. Friend Jay IL
not to be taken too seriously. Probably there
is no more law-abiding citizen in Iowa than
he. You see. he recently acquired q hivver
sedan and doubtless Arm of the Law" is one
result Of a sided argument with = speed
cop.
DEATH has Just revealed that the inventor
Of the ukelele was Spaniard and that the
Hawaiians never heard of the instrument be-
fore the advent of the white man. We used to
shout. Remember the Mains!" For . battle
cry in the next war with Spain we suggest,
Remember the ukelele!"
wANTED-wELL TRAINED CARRIER
PIGEON
Dear Mac: Indeed do want the column
to follow me on my vacation. but how! Just
now l see only ono way. Have you pet pig
con around the ONCE anywhere? Couldn't you
tie the column to its lit feet and shoe it oil
in my direction each day with orders to wait
for return mail! am going to be 4 gypsy
and will have no regular means Of communi-
eating with the world at large. This worries
me only in SO far that shall not have the OPP
portunity to read your opinion on a new split
infnitive just discovered.
The worlds greatest" Of the 18th inst had
the following astounding information in its
financial notes:
Since labor troubles have become of SUI
fcient importance to more or less to disrupt
business -"
Now what want to know is. when is 4
split infnitive not split inhnitive."
WINNIE.
WINNIE might be interested in the follow
ing excerpt from David McCords For Biblio-
phool and Boobliophile" column in the inval-
liable Dispatch: "A remarkably well-written
tiUA
the majority be considered propaganda"
After writing the foregoing paragraph We
found that Friend Davie had. made Bile
mention Of US in his column: and, but for the
fact that we're 4 sort OF ingrate,-one who re-
| turns evil for good. etc. :. but vhy CON
tinue?
BILL. HERE'S JOB TO TRY YOUR SOUL
BUT NO TYPIST CAN Guido OUR
LINoTYPER, BY HEX!
Dear Mac:
Just for the sake
OF variety
am about to show you
How very versatile
Is typewriter.
| Well, then.
You remember my dog!
| have spoken Of hin
Several times.
| -. nc II USuoIly
| Quite good-ratured:
&c !,
| It'll
| When ask him to sit up,
He fmore or less immediately1
Does so:
pS
q ID
|
I I'll ID
And when seold him
He 10 sad indeed:
| -(..o
| a.
! Than. you. I'LL
I r. ~ro@,-
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1922-07-25

Many Of The liquor cure institutions are 90
- out a Business. The undertaksrs are get
III the victims these days.
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1922-07-25

~PncGY wants ALL the love isttars," writes
the fair Laura. II had ffteoa-Dags one the
other day. Can she beat 1T! Hnmm; we'll.
ve don't know about Psssy. bst We know
what we'd do II fftssn-paee love leffr came
to our house. We'd beat it-anstanter.
Intsrestins 10 Say Astounding II Tsae.
fCsmbridss Corr. The AfEna1
I Mr. Jones is selfnaAe man.
born in the Ozark mountains, IN the state
Of Arkansas, 10 miles from Little Rock.
THE enclcsed,- writes Jay Sig, may be
too satirical for your colum. II you think they
will bring any criticism
Well. now, criticism II the fondest thing
No are Of. 20 look out below!
Arm OF the Law.
It is very evident
That In your opinion at least
You are . creature Of vast importance,
Infinitely superior
To your fellow beings.
Those who gave you
Your great authority
Must in q measure ut least
Concur in this opinion.
Therefore, marvel,
That in this wonderful land Of liberty.
They take such fne examples Of asininity q.
you,
Garb them in blue coats.
Held over their rotund paunches
BY shining brass buttons.
Decorated by eagles (emblem Of fFeedom),
And then give them gun and . club.
Sending them abroad in the land
With the right to kill.
No doubt am dense -.
| suppose there are many things
! I'll never understand
JAY G. SIGMUND.
Indiana daily times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1914-1922, 1922-02-11

~ United States Cast Iron Pipe, both com
zNon and preferred, made new high levels
for the current movement. There have
been reports of competitive buying for
control. but these are not taken serious
", although it is known one southern
interest has bought 10000 shares of the
stock in the open market during recent
months. The continued advance in the
common has brought tempting profits
to early purchasers, and there was a
tendency to cash these profits in trading.
Indiana daily times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1914-1922, 1922-02-11
EUROPECA
LITTLE ABOUT
OUR SENATE
Regards u. S. Upper House
as Bogey of Old World
Hopes.

LONDON, FEB. 1.-THE poor old United
States Senate. battered and bufeted
about by the American public, stands out
IN Europe as the sinister DOGGY man OF
old world statesmen.
Fresh from the United States, where
the dignified Senate is not always re-
garded with the greatest of reverence, one
finds himself confronted in Europe with
an entirely different view of this great
est deliberative body in the world"
In Europe the United States Senate IS
looked upon as the barrier to many of the
hopes Of the European statesmen.
Apparently Europe cannot forget the
League Of Nations debacle. when the
statesmen of the Old World thought they
had succeeded in connecting a diplomatic
pill for the interna tional malady Of TOO
much war" only TO find that an uncon-
suited member of the international asso-
citation of doctors threw the pill out Of
the window.
Europe doesn't place much faith in
future aid from the United States, ac-
carding to the general impression one
gets in political and diplomatic circles.
There Is no lack Of faith in American
leaders, but there is a decided disposition
TO incline to the belief that the United
States Senate is prepared to block any
move initiated for European relief which
calls for American participation.
Europe and the European press pay at
tention 20 the United States Senate, and
the statements Of Senators. speeches in
the Senate. which are passed by Ameri-
can newspapers. as simply more ora
tory" get prominence IN the European
press. and statesmen shake their heads
~Oefully over speeches that are regarded
In the United States as the sort of talk
which is expected from Senators and
forgiven.
Great Britain isn't wildly enthusiastic
about the results Of the armament con-
ference in Washington Part of this
may be charged up to the well-advertised
restraint Of the British. but in general
it is due to the fact that in Europe they
don't figure anything accomplished in
the United States until the Senate has
consented.
Great Britain and the rest Of Europe
want the United States playing on their
side. but they viii never feel sure Of the
position Of the american Government in
the future, for they have dire fears Of
the Senate and credit it with being the
most perverse organization in parlia-
mentary history.
There are Senators who storm and rage
beneath the great white dome of the
Capitol and get not ripple Of attention
from the American public, yet they
would swell with pride If they tut knew
the attention Europe gives their oratory.
President Harding may feel that he
has the Senate all lined up, but he will
have hard work convincing European
statesmen that the ninety-six men who
sit on either side OF the Cherokee Strip"
are not international DOGGY men,"
Indiana daily times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1914-1922, 1922-02-11
WEATHER CONDITIONS.

The depression center over the north
ern Red River Valley Friday morning
has moved rapidly eastward TO the mid
die lakes region, attended by higher
temperatures in its front. which have
now Overspread the Eastern States; while
the Northwestern field of high pressure
has advanced southeaStward. attended by
decidedly colder weather, and covers the
region between the Missouri River and
the Great Lakes. Zero temperatures in
connection are reported southwark over
Minnesota, the DakOtas and Montana
The Pacific disturbance is moving in
Land. and has caused considerable pre-
cipitation In the Far West and North
west. some rains also have fallen in the
middle parts of the country east Of the
Mississippi. j. IL. ARLINGTON,
Meteorological, " Gather Bureau.