The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1922-03-17
FIGURES
BY ROSE BAKALAR

Sumner building was suffocating. Wilt
ing like rose in too hot house, Rita,
bookkeeper, stenographer, salesgirl and
ent filling the first and most important
of her varied callings, toiled up the
monotonous, seemingly endless, numer-
ical columns.
The accounts receivable trial bal
ance was 80 cents out of the way. The
touched. A stack of charges had to be
reckoned, bills made out and mailed.
Her wearisome mental ascent was in
terrupted by the entrance of fnicky
customer. Next, the switchboard
claimed her attention. And between
times she hunted for that 80 cents.
Noontime, her mind in a figured
whirl, nerves on edge. utterly disgust
ed with life and herself in particular,
she slammed the books on the disagree
ing sum, stuck notice of "Will Return
at 1" on the door, and left for lunch.
On the street she shifted the sizzling
dust-laden atmosphere and heartily
wished it were closing time, so that she
could go home. Home on the little hill,
shaded by the trees, meant cool, fresh,
health-giving air.
She directed her steps to a pie-plus-
ice-cream dining place. Those detest-
able figures, successfully put out of
sight, persisted in dancing a cOntinu-
Gus tormenting jig within Rita's vision.
At the counter she shut her eyes for
a moment, as if to Danish those abom-
Unable numbered prosecutors. She
ust-will-forget figures, at least
during her short stay away from them.
Unfortunately a male "jinx" near by
grunted, "Yup! I'm FIGURING on the
mortgage to help me out"
Rita gulped her coffee and left hast
lily. Couldn't she ever forget the word
FIGURE even for a moment? She
stopped to admire some hats in win
dow, hoping thereby to drive the fig
ured invaders from but her mind, when
an enthusiastic feminine voice Jared
her senses with, aren't the FIGURES
on that hat perfectly ducky!"
devilish FIGURE? She hurried to the
Charles River promenade. A faint
breeze played tag with little brown
curl that had escaped from beneath
her chic little hat. She took deep
breath as she seated herself. All here
was real solace.
'The glorious deep is too vast, too
grand to be measured and bound by
petty limited numbers" she murmured
POLITICALLY.
Her relaxation, mental and physical,
was complete. But peace was MUIR
dered in it's prime when she caught the
words, yah! He cut swell FIGGER
at the dance and" Rita fled. She
waited to hear no more for obvious
| reasons.
On her way to the Office she caught
saatches of conversation. 1t seemed
as if the whole world were talking in
figuresl I'm FIGURIN' it's goin' to
rain" FIGURES cannot lie
'FIGURATIVELY speaking" at
sure was FIGURE A cloth!" Every
where joy, sorrow, diverse things and
people were spoken of in harsh, calcu-
lating terms
That night her dream world was
| FIGURES. Monstrous one-eyed elev-
ems stalked stiffly about, glowering
savegely Enormous mouthed, rOly-
poly zeroes, gaping, weirdly employing
rollicking methods of locomotion, re-
lentlessly pursued her. Curved and
! curled giant Fights, twisting and with
! ing the fantastic contortiOns attempted
| to strangle her. She awoke, gasping
for breath. Sleep vanished that night.
At the breakfast table, in reply to
her mothers solicitous query as to the
cause of the black circles under the
eyes, Rita burst into tears. After
somewhat recovering her composure,
she vehemently confessed: 81 couldn't
sleep all night on account of that
bookkeeping. Those figures will drive
me crazy. ALI day long everybody,
everytime, everywhere it's FIGURES,
FIGURES, FIGURES! And at night
| it's worse. / can't leave my job be-
cause it's hard to get another and
can't afford to loaf OH she walled
81 don't know what to do"
"Why don't you marry Joe" chided
her mother. Hes been after you for
the last two years, and you keep put
ing him off because you got silly
notion of financial independence
You're "a now and it'll take most a
lifetime to get as much as Joe is get
ting. A girl is different. Meanwhile,
you'd be wasting your whole life's
| happiness"
That evening private conference
was held and satisfactorily settled to
| all parties concerned.
Some years later we find Rita dill.
gently cultvating her back yard gar.
| den. She figured how many rows
could be laid out in that little plot and
the amount of seed that would be re.
auired. In a local magazine she had
won first prize for sending in the best
planned housekeeping budget. Five
year-old Tommy was the pride of his
| mother. He could ''fgger" like
slightnin'" and carry in his head
And her most cherished verse in her
autograph album was "May your life
be like Acknowledgements multi.
piled, cares divided, sorrows sub.
| tracted and children added"
A True Helpmate.