davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1922-06-18

Der which made the day one long to be
remembered.
Jones was busy With some tangled ropes
when got down to the dock and seemed to be
quite unhappy
Some fool Of club attendant has been
aboard here and fouled all these lines he
said without looking up at my greeting Here
take this and pull He tossed me the end Of
a rope.
gave it quick yank, and curious thing
happened. The sail came down, burying Jones
beneath its snowy folds.
What did you do that for you IDIOT"
came from under the canvas in a tone I had
never heard Jones employ before II told
you to pull, not to jerk. You might have
known that was the end Of halyard"
While | was trying TO apologize he worked
his way gradually out from under the sail
and presently got his head clear. Then he
saw my cap.
TAX off the motorman's kelly" he cried
testify. Where did you get il? suppose
you thought it would be funny to make me
ridiculous"
This didn't sound like Jones, and it nettlsd
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1922-06-18

are nothing TO me. Let me show you.
He got up from his easy chair-my favorte
easy chair-and did few floating acts must
say. in spite Of the fact that he was rather
conandoysh and portly, and all that sort Of
thing, he did it we'll He passed right through
a sectional book case containing the works Of
Amy Lowell and Henry James without the
slightest effort. As he came out on the other
side he solioquized: my eye that was subtle
stuff" Then he amused himself by actually
passing right through ne. could feel him
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1922-06-18

When the mass Of it was where il seemed
to belong, with Jones gathering in the slack, he
gave me another line and told me TO pull on
that
Slowly the sail climbed up the mast
NOW make your hayard fast" Jones COM
handed
Il don't see any halyard"
THE halyard is the line you've got in your
hand, you bthering moronl Make it fastw
How do you mean, make it fast?"
Tie it, Tie it to that ceat"
| tied it to something | supposed was
cleat but which was really the end of an oar,
which without warning shot up to the head of
the mast, while the sail came bllowing down
into the water again.
Jones leaped from his side Of the boat over
the sail and, Selling me by the shoulders, sud-
denly thrust me back on the dock.
Get out Of here he snarlcd Get out Of
here and don't ever come back again. I've
lost the chance to get to the starting line, and
I've lost the race was certain to win. Why
in thunder | ask half-witted people to sail
with me | don't know. guess I'm too blamed
good-natured."
1t is my private opinion that Jones guessed
wrong that time.
Copyright. 1872. by James j. Mon,ssue)
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1922-06-18
himself by actually through me- could feel him
out other side nice personality DorwinS

coming out on tho other side-or rather il was
in front II wasn't at all unpleasant-rather
a nice personality is Darwin's.
by Jovelr | exclaimed as he went back and
forth through a couple Of closed doors, and
finally slid into my chair you certainly are
a wonder You must have been practising at
it all your was going to say life, and
then couldn't think what to say.
"Oh that's nothing" he said. 81 can pro-
jcct myself anywhere. teach projecting
You better sign up with me now, as there's
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1922-06-18

ouite n eating list. | can project myseii
anywhere. just rs easy as that
He suddenly disappeared and as suddenly
appeared again.
"Whcred you go?" / asked intently'
Hollywood. Brushed up against Norma
Talmad0e and stopped over fraction OF
second at Chicago" And he swept some imag'-
nary scot Oft his eyebrow "Of course, any
body can project" he went on. but there's
no fun in it unless you have sense OF humor'
"Where did you get your sense OF humor'
You certainly didn't have IL when you were
here. Why, you admitted yourself that you
couldn't even read poetry
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1922-06-18
Monkey Frieze Starts
Train of Thought

think it came about through my reporters
instinct that met Darwin. had been con-
centrating upon him unconsciousy FIR"
there was the monkey frieze on Mrs. Wander
hills house in Beekman Place. That started
a train Of thought 1t took me back TO my
own ancestral tree, and wondered, won
dered-and just then brother Bill Bryan came
along. fresh from Chautauqus-that IS as
fresh as anything ever is from Chautauqua'
,norting with religious frenzy and declining
20 believe in monkeys, except for purposes OIL
Babylonian decoration.
And read what Bill had to say with tears
Of rage. Why should feel that way
wonder. about Bill Bryan? Why does anybody
or everybody, feel that way about Bill Bryan!
Well. anyway. got to thinking of Bill Bryan
and his denouncng the Darwin theory OF man
being assembled from monkeys, and OF Bernard
Shaw and what he said about Methuselan'
and of Harry Emerson Fosdick. who declared
that Bill was all wrong and in spite of what
he said that there was a kind of missing link
between a chimpanzee and state senator
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1922-06-18

This seemed ineligible. laid hold of the
canvas and began hauling. | didn't know
which was aft, but made guess that it was
in the direction Of the front Of the boat. So
! hauled.
What the devil are you pulling the sail
for?" inquired Jones, staring at me in angry
amazemnt.
Didn't you tell me to haul the sai?"
Il never said anything about the salw
You said to haul the sheet somewhere"
Jones Strengthened up and glared at me.
Are YOU such an unmtigated landlubber
that you don't know what sheet isl" He
thrust a rope into my hands This is the
sheet-pull it, if you have sense enough.
We've only got ten minutes to get to the start
ing line"
This rope?" ] inquired.
Don't say rope" snapped Jones. THAT is
a line, not rope. Nothing is a rope. Re-
member that, if you can. Now pull"
| pulled. To my surprise and delight the
sail began TO swing in toward the stern. shak
ing of the water in which it had sunk as it
came. really felt that was accomplishing
something
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1922-06-18

England remarked Marty Nc
Mahon, the retired bartender. "All
their best minds, like Mrs. Asquith an Conan
DOYLE an II. G. Wells, comes over here TO VISIT
an now Mr.. Hearst an Police Commissioner
Enright an Rodman Wanamaker is over there.
II notice, though, that whep the hgh-minded
Britisher goes home he's most generally got
roll outa the lecture graft tucked under his
arm. while the dollar-minded Americans that
goes TO England don't even expect to get
nothin' but information or maybe culture or
,ocial standin' or somethin else you don't have
to pay no income tax on.
"You might think that Mr.. Hearst just went
over TO hobnob with the nobility, perhaps, or
have talk with Lloyd George, accordin' to
what the papers print about him, but the
chances are he's keepin' his eye peeled fer a
likely candidate fer Governor an aims to bring
one back with him.
"Enrieht an Wanamaker, they aim TO study
all the time they're over there. Enright can
study up on crime waves an foreign cops an
Wanamaker on how 10 welcome distinguished
foreign visitors, suppose
Now, il any Britisher was as good at them
things as them two fellas is he could come over
here an get a bank roll lecturin' or givin les
sons. But Just because they're Americans, En-
right an Wanamaker has 10 go 20 England to
study.
zone thing Enrightll wise himself up on is
vice. He'll know just how much vice there is
TO the square inch in every big city in Europe
when he comes back an then he'll compare it
20 the square inches in New York an prove
he's a good Police Commissioner.
There's prob'ly lotsa ways that the London
police are better for London than New York
cops would be, but you take an switch 'em an
III bet the New York cops would get away
with it lot better in London than them fell
las would here.
"I'll bet you take an stick London cop
on Tenth Avenue on a warm night when the
boys was layin' fer easy marks to touch fer
the price Of a growler an thered be call for
the reserves the first time boob comes up to
him with a squeal-either that or a call for
the dead wagon to take away one London
copper.
"What would happen if you turned loose a
lotta New York cops with their nightsticks an
all in London, dunno; but III bet there'd be
a lotta letters to The Times the next
mornin'.
Anyhow, the New York police amt had to
call out the artillery yet to help EN- pinch
mob that ducked into tenement an opened
up with their canisters; an it amt so long ago
that they done that in London.
at all comes down to this-that you can't
teach an Englishman nothin,' but any Eng
tisbman can teach an American. 1t amt so
far from bein' more than fair shake fer us
at that, il we don't let em teach US nothin'
we don't want TO know, fer after while we'll
know all they know that's worth KNOWN an
they won't know nothn' that we knew be-
fore. So IL the fellas that 60 abroad to study
are good choosers, why it's al right"
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1922-06-18
Bryan Due to Vanish
I'm Blaze of Color

Il suppose this will happen 70 rs y,
day."
"Yes; we are all looking forward b :
Mark Twain says he knew II would b 4
before he left"
"And shall tell Bill Bryan tha. you IN,
invented it,"
Darwin leaned back again and shoos .
head.
LET him alone" he said. THAT islsT /
a creator. The stuff he is getting Of ria.
the most beautiful color scheme in tie =.
verse-afterward. But my projection cs
is waiting. So"-
And never thought 70 ask bin sb-
New York's permanent crime wsyel
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1922-06-18
THREE MAIDS
FROM MINC0
Continued from page four)

and Ossie and surveyed New York GlatE
six years old, had gone % sleep, overcome VII,
the effort Of understanding No. sign d.
the two older girls give until around the c'rHs
Of Forty-ninth Street came a brown, fun
body, one Of those obese long-haired, unte'
slung CANNES. He was attached By glitter
ing chain to a Gorgeous dolmaned person
plumes.
Whats that" asked Nellie, pointing D
citedly
Its dog"
"Humph. Don look like no dawg J ~
see. Just seems to me that CANT be no tiTt
YES It's said Ossie. It's barkin'.'
mighty funny" said Nellie, and she va
to gigge. 1t was funny although it tex -
little West Virginia miner TO point OF .
the humor Of the picture. The whole bus W
gggling merrily as We rolled along, and Ns1
became the center Of interest.
A little later, on Riverside Drive | points
out TO the children a millionaire's house,
turrets and points and glittering windows
such palace as little girls read about IN is5
tales.
How'd you like to live there!" asked q
pecting enthusiastic acceptance on the 90
They considered it languidly.
as that a house? | thought il was -
ater." Then; Its pretty big, but our 1''
was nice. 1t had bathroom, and Il |"
painted real pretty" said 0ssie.
The millionaire who lives in the turss
house may own stock in the Lowvotale %
and Coke Company. He may even oTl ,
nice house from which 0sSie was evea
If this is the case Ossie would tell hin ,
she doesn't want his big house. She ,
wants the little comfortable one that
painted real pretty. And she'd "rathefr
jail" she says, than not get back that >
house.
Beef roast at luncheon created 500 J
terest. guessing game ensued 10 de'1~
what il was.
ats meat, | know" said 0ssie, "eu' v
kind? Seems to me it must be 0eei,
amt had any fur so long | amt suah. W.
Twin on cohn meal an fat back.
The subways did not interest the -
greatly. Why should they? Nellie srs~
and Gladys had had far more interests
ventures underground.
They missed the mountains ana p,
anxiously from the window Of taxes0 "
if they couldn't find "just one :.
1.-THE only mountains they have hean % :.
buildn's," said Nellie in deep disgust
they want TO make 'em so high fur! fo'
see the top"
In summing up their impressions u .,.,,
York the three girls agreed on TWO !,
tons: the elephants in the Bronx ."
the l0-cent dolls to be found IN 'n'
near their hotel. Ossie. who is Just w. I.
into young womanhood, gave the CIV
other recommendation.
"It's Clean" she said. "An' when
again suah goin' to get me NV. ~,
organdie hat. You can't wear so'n |, ,
we live. They'd be all black with COS ~,
time. The coal just gets into e,'', al
No, ma'sm! No organdie down tnesn I'M,
Nothing down there" said ossis
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1922-06-18
Illustrations by MERLE JOHNSON

me a little. |
had bought the
cap in good
faith, supposing
it to be part Of
the correct dress
for yachtsmen. |
tried TO explain,
but Jones would
not listen to me.
Come aboard,
he said, after he
had snatched it
from my head
and tossed it in
continently into
the Sound. "Come
aboard and haul
aft the main
sheet"
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1922-06-18

Of white trou-
sers and some
rubber sole d
shoes. so as to be
QUILTED for the
voyage. Ny lack
Of knowledge Of
sea technique led
me into one bad
mistake. The To-
Cdl ClOtillng store
man sold me a
streetcar CO n
ductor's cap, as
surfing me that
these were what
the yachtsmen all
wor0. The cap
was the first ir-
rlfaut NJ "a mum,
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1922-06-18


body. For some time have been aware oil
all these facts. They have become so old ana
shopworn with me that am almost tired OF
dragging them out again. But IL bore YOU
lay 1t altogether 70 Conan Doyle. He Is the
man who started them going; he is the man
who. by the enormous power OF suggestion
got me TO meet Darwin. got me to have the
talk with him that now look back upon with
so much pleasure; although ] am fully aware
Of course, that it is not thing OF the past
that IL is Just an ever present possession. But
LET US, as they say over in old England TO our
,,,t,ors or in this case let us 10 our sub
conscious, to our materializations. or what
ever one wishes 10 call them.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1922-06-18

knew IL doesn't get Us anywhere a.,
don't. Seer" +"
whats the big idea anywhere ov.,a
why companionship and outdoo, -.
We have whirlng parties right slo,u
also have fadeawsys." "
whats a fadeaway?"
i don't know whether you can u,A..
me or not But II you do UNDERSTAND !.
might pass it on 70 Conan Doyle and N :. -
to add it to his repertoire. Every oD..
while some planet fades away
"You mean
Just goes out. It's rather in,er,,....
ut just
ayes We have sights that you On, :
know. We don't pay 80 much a,tsr,,,.
physical bodies. What interests us a.,
carnations and that sort Of thing ".
see il. That's the reason Why womb =.
take look at Bill Bryan nothing for = /.
look at. But TO get back 20 what M
INK. On every planet there are VIA, "a. =,
nuts, isn't IL? You know philoU,,...
Poets. Sages. Thinkers. used b h -.
Of EN- myself, but got over il wien ~.
You have 10. And 50, when a plane. b.,,.
to fade away, all these wonderful .heorr :
all these poor nuts who live there ia. .
into space. Beautiful sight-eolors yog q,
suspected"
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1922-06-18
MARTY MAKES
COMPARISONS
By Robert B. Peck

nice sociable spirit spring,
in up between this country an
England remarked Marty Nc
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1922-06-18

wv re LIVE in dreams. There is no past
Nv and no future. 1t is all in the
W consciousness. BY concentration you
may know everything and every
Grand Forks herald. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1916-1955, 1922-01-14

The Young Women's Missionary So
ciety Of the M. f.. church will have
a covered dish supper party this
evening in the church dining room
opening at Z o'clock. Plans were
first to have a costume party but
were later changed.
Miss Edna Gaming . Of 1ivonia, n.
Y, Is the house guest Of her sister,
Mrs. j.: &C. York, at the Baptist par
sonage. Miss Gaming arrived in the
city Thursday evening Tor ar extend
At an sinforTnal tea which North
Dakota Alpha chapter. Pia Beta Phi.
gave at the chapter honse on Friday
afternoon, the women Of the univer-
sity faculty and the faculty mems
wives were the guests. The hours
Mesdames C. S. Marsden and r. T.
Young patronesses Of the chapter.
poured. Assisting were Misses Elsie
Coon and Regina Brennan. E.
X X i
! Arrangements have been practical
ly completed for. the second annual
interesociety party to be given this
evening in the university armory. The
Kappa Alpha Theta sorority will en-
terrain all other sororities It the af-
fair. 1t is to be informal-program.
A program OF sixteen dances has
been arranged and during the dance
hours which are to be from 8 to II
o'clock, trappe will be served.
Patrons and, patronessest will be
President and Mrs. Thomas F. Kane,
DR.. and Mrs. w. G. Bek, Mr. and Mrs..
A. G. Leonard, Miss Ella Fulton and
DR.. Henry r. Humpstone.
Grand Forks herald. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1916-1955, 1922-01-14
IS DEPUTY
TAX COLLECTOR

Word comes from Tacoma,
Wash, OF the appointment Of
Margaret l. Coseroye as Deputy
Collector Of the u. S. Internal
Revenue Office. She got her bus
iness training At Dakota Business
College, Fargo, N. D. Graduates
Of this fine old school find Nc trou-
BE passing Civil Service examina-
tons. A. score of them hold Gov
eminent positions in Fargo. alone.
Some 6S5 banks employ D. B.
C. graduates 218 have become
officers, 40 of them being women.
Follow the 6ucceSSful." Write
for terms to F. L. Watkins, Pres,
800 Front ST, Fargo. N. D.
Grand Forks herald. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1916-1955, 1922-01-14

Miss Frances Collins will be head
hostess at the Wonlen's league tea
neSt Tuesday afternoon, from 1 to
5:3t o'clock. She will be assisted by
Misses Bernicc Lcrum. Lillian Leith,
Nellie .I.unding. Florence johnson.
Johnson, Elizabeth L. johnson, Min
no .Ioh"son, Winnifred Jones. Mar
guerite Hops. Eleanor Kelly. Mildred
Hansen II Evelyn Harm.
* + x
This afternoon between the hours
an.t . O'Clock Miss Elizabeth
Wharen entertained. a party Of little
girl friends in her home, 1903 Cniver-
sity avenue. Parlor games. were en-
.;oyed and refreshments We're served.
Moses Mary Margaret French. Betina
Bush Marion Abbott, Elizabeth Car
tar Rettr Henry. Margaret Stebbins
and, Alice Boyd were the guests.
The WoMen's Home Missionary So
eiety ~ the Methodist church is max
ing plans for a chicken supper to be
90. in the church, dining roo,n Mrs.
c.. p Whar"n is chairman of the COM
raittee in charge Of arrangements. The
patronage of the public is solicited.
Serving will begin AZ $3.50 o'clock.
X X *
The annual election OF officers Will
tako place on Monday afternoon at a
regular meeting of the local CHAPTER
Of the Daughters of the American
Revolution. The meeting will be held
in the hoo,n of Mrs. y. G. Benner.
Belmont and will open at 3
o'clock. All members are urged to
bring their duas thu: tbs remittance
to the national 'unI r-n be made
* X X
On Wednesday January is,
a meeting of t:ls North Dakota Danes
club will he held in the home OF Mrs.
W. G.. Bsk. Han1line avenue. Mrs. A.
II. Yoder is the program leader.
5f-.-- * X Il
Acacia chapter number II. O. f.
s.. will hold a regular meeting in the
Masonic temple on Tuesday evening.
January Il. at $50 p. NJ. All mem
hers are urged to attend. Signed.
I-otta Randall. W. NJ; Maudc NJ.
adams, secretary. =.
Grand Forks herald. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1916-1955, 1922-01-14

AN G FOR THE KING.
,hycarysle Il. Aolcomb

AN ENC EOR THE KING.
II you have mover een a hole in
the sand likepthe one Tinker Bob saw
on this' occasion at the edge Of the
jungle land. it Will be hard for you to
imagine what is looked like. But it
was a big hole, not q very deep one.
IN 1t We're some II eRgs, a dirty-white
in color.
Ny. what eggs!" exclaimed Tinker
Fob as he looked closely al the eggs.
Whose eggs are these?" he asked.
Ostrich" said the proud fellow who
had been Carrying the King.
They" were surely big eggs. One OF
them contained as much as 80 chicken
Gigs. <'Well. where Is Mrs. Ostrich?'
asked Tinker r..
He had no ooner said it than he
saw coming Mrs. Ostrich toward them
at full speed. Don't you dare harm.
that nest!" she exclaimed.
Now don't worry, Mrs. Ostrich"
said the fellow who vas showing the
nest to Tinker Bob. I'm just show
ing his nest to the King Of the For
est"
Well. I wouldn't have anything
happen to that nest for all the world.
You know that last year some of the
natives came along and stole all of
my eggs and ! don't want that to hap
pen again this year" -
well, why don't you stay with the
nest SO you car watch it," asked
Tinker Bob.
'Oh, that is no way to- do with eggs,
like mine. You see all I nave to do is
to lay the eggs and The Sun is good
enough to hatch them. or course 1
stay with them at night. but never in
the day time. 1t ia a little cooler at
night 50 I see to 1t that they do not
get chilled"
well. that's a funny way to take
care Of a nest. If the. birds of the
forest did that way. they. would never
have any little children"
OF the Forest. = You must remember
that I am a big bird and easy to see
in a desert land like this. II I should
stay here with tho nest all h time.
Grand Forks herald. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1916-1955, 1922-01-14
SOCIETY SPONSORS
SPLENDID PROGRAM

The Lady of Lourdcs sodality of st.
Mary's church gave q very fine enter
tasnment on Friday evening in the
church auditorium before a large
crowd. A two-act playlet. How Beth
Won the Camp Fire Hon0rs.' II an
artistic cansata, Parry Night" were
the featuressof paramount interest on
the program. Between these two
numbers special entertainment ,fea-
lures, were contributed.
All of the young people taking part
AMI the young ONE who assisted in
directing the numbers Received con-
siderable praise for the success of the
performance. The stage settings,
lighting effects and costumes were
outstanding features and added much
to the numbers.
Grand Forks herald. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1916-1955, 1922-01-14

the natives would see me as they
travel along and I would lose my nest
OF eggs as well as my life."
Silky. the monkey. was SO curious
that he ventured to pick one up. But
as he did 20 Mrs. Ostrich gave him a
peck on the head that sent his nose
into the sand. II donttallow anyone
to touch these eExs. II I did they
would not hatch. 50 please keep your
hands off" You a be sure that
Silky kept his hands of the eggs even
though he wanted one for his break
fast. -.
"Oh, King OF The Forest. il you
really want one Of my egGs I will give
It TO YOU" and with her bill Mrs.
Ostrich rolled n out Of the nest and
gave It to Tinker Bob. But Silky got
none because he laughed.
ITO Be Continued.)
Grand Forks herald. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1916-1955, 1922-01-14
Norwegian Danish N. e.

Corner First avenue and Chestnut
street. Prayer meeting every Thurs
day evening 7:45 o'clock: Sunday
services at 1850 a. m. and :7:45 p. m.
Sunday school and bible class at 11:45,
a. M; Epworth league devotional
meeting at 7 p. m. conducted by &.
Guttersrud, topic, Mission"
Grand Forks herald. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1916-1955, 1922-01-14
st. Marks Lutheran

Corner International avenue and
Fifth street. Ernest o, Armbruster,
pastor. Sunday school S:45 a. M:
morning worship H.. theme, WHO
Christ Is" Evening worship 8
theme, What Grand Forks Could
Least Afford to DO without, or
Grand Forks Greatest Asset" All
services in English.
Grand Forks herald. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1916-1955, 1922-01-14
". c. a. GIVES
A COSTUME PARTY

;. The University Y. w. c. "A. enter
tanned its members at a costume par
ty on Friday evening in h women's
gymnasium. Toy balloons and crepe
paper in black, and white decorated
the room. The evenings fun was en-;
joyed from eight until ten-thirty
o'clock. Miss Edith Farnham headed
the entertainment committee.
Miss Rose Rosendahi was awarded
the prize for wearing the funniest
costume while Miss Marguerite kops.
attired as a haremr girl, was givenHa
prize for the originality of her "garb."
: These members OF the University
Y. w. c. A.. board chaperoned the at
fair: Mesdames A. d. Bush, Jesse IF.
Bond and Dean Ella Fulton. Light<re-
freshments were served, during the
course of the evening".