davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The New York herald., 1922-02-26

PATRlCk Tumulty lett my door-dnu al
but signed the lease for my new residence
for the summer-when it occurred to me
to honor him with an invitation to visit
our Borough Council this evening and have
him address us-after l first have intro
duced him in a fitting manner.
my friends, in my hands l hold his
answer of acceptance! At any minute
now into this assemblage will come the
Hon. Joseph PATRICK Tumulty!"
Even Mr.. Mickelman Is Excited
BY News About TumuIty
Everybody here cheered and stamped
and whistled excitedly. Even Hon Nickel
man seemed as excited as everybody, but
as events turned out quickly it was proved
that Hon. Mickelman was excited about
the big idea that came into his head.
"And while we await Mr.. Tumulty's ar
rival" went on Hon. Quinn, putting on his
glasses and taking from his pocket the note
Just delivered to him by both the two Dur
kin twins, IL will read his note of accept
ance for your pleasure-yes, and for my
own, as so far l have but skinned the
opening lines.
"'My dear Mr. Quinn, writes Joe to me,
friends, in answer to the invitation I sent
to his hotel here by messenger but an
hour ago.
"T thank you, sir, writes Joe, for your
kind invitation to meet and address your
Borough Council members this evening,
and l shall be very glad to do So writes
Joe, friends.
"SILENCE!" thundered Hon. Quinn at
Hon. Mickelman. when the latter seemed
suddenly unable to restrain some big idea
coming to a head in Hon. Mickelman.
But unfortunately began reading
further Hon. Quinn, but beginning to look
puzzled and reading slower. "it so
happens, my dear Mr.. Quinn, that | have
just a minute to catch the :54 train back
to the city. Let me repeat, however, that
| shall be very glad to attend your Council
meeting at some future date, and again
thank you. sir, for"
Cheers and hallelooiahs, brothersl
Hooray!" here broke in Hon. Mickelman,
practically insanely.
81 just got the full drift of everything,
brothers!" hollered louder Hon. Nickel
man, he now waving his arms and jumping
and dancing excitedly out into the aisle.
This here big gasbag says he's going to
Europe for the whole summer! Shoot me
while I'm happy, brothers! Quinn's going
to Eur"
"Yes!" savagely screamed Hon. Quinn,
throwing down Hon. Tumulty's note and
grabbing his hat and coat Yes, I'm going
to Europe-and you go to HI"
And there being no other business before
Council II was moved to adjourn.
Copyright, 1922, by the Bell Syndicate, Tnc.)
The New York herald., 1922-02-26

struck by Hon. Quinn's unusual excitement
and eloquence Of manner.
MARK we'll what now tell you, friends"
began Hon. Quinn, now speaking the most
eloquently he has ever spoken in Council.
To-day unbeknownst to all of you-ex-
cepting, of course, myseff-there arrived in
our Borough, incognito and clandestinely.
none other, friends, than that grand gen.
tleman, that statesman of world renown,
that product and pride of the great State
OF New Jersey, that gifted friend of nu-
manity--in a word, friends, that apostle of
the New Era, who, friends. for eight long
and trying, yea, heartbreaking years, brill
liantly occupied his now historical desk
ir -"
elman, but everybody impatiently yelled
sssssssh!
His historical desk" concluded Hon.
Quinn thunderously, "in the WHITE
HOUSE!"
Woodrow wilson," excitedly began
whispering everybody.
Here Hon. Quinn dramatically almost
tumbled off his chair and ran over and vic
toriously shook in Hon. Mickelman's face
the secret State document just delivered to
Hon. Quinn by the two Durkin twins, and
which We scribe could now see was written
on the note paper of the Zimmermans AS
tor-waldorf. the leading hostelry of this
progressive burg.
Woodrow Wilson's in town." standees
were now saying more excitedly to new
standees just arriving.
go on! Go on" everybody was crying
impatiently now to Hon. Quinn.
The New York herald., 1922-02-26
Durkin Twins Bring Note
That HaIts Usual Row

The usual Friday night panics between
Hons. Quinn and Mickelman seemed be-
ginning. but just then into Fire House
came running excitedly both the two Dur
kin twins with a note for Hon. Quinn.
Hon. Quinn, acting like he had been ex-
pecting the note, met the two Durkin
twins half way down the aisle and tore
open the note.
Hon. Quinn read only a line or two.
Then he began to swell proudly. Every
body could see the way Hon. Quinn was
holding the note that something very Inn
portant was on the tapis.
"My friends began eloquently Hon.
Quinn. paying no attention at all now TO
Hon Mickelman leyally having the sole
right to the floor, "the important address
10 be delivered to you this highland In
which I will humbly--"
"Mr. Chairman" shouted Hon. Nickel
man, In the loudest voice heard here since
the Chautauqua manager spoke here last
week. "Tll be d-m-n-d II I'll submit to this
monstrous-"
"CEASE!" here all but screamed Hon.
Quinn. he using the only word which
at Chautauqua last week.-Mrs. ever
silenced even Hon. Quinn.
Hon. Quinn the next instant sprung to
the top of his seat OF his Council chair.
His hands trembled with excitement az he
held above his head the note just deli, cred
to him. he holding the note high like 1t
was the sacred Flag or something.
Everybody by this time was held awe
The New York herald., 1922-02-26
Spider Uses Pitcher Plant as a Lair

upon the digging up of the earth as
sacrilege, and they will not seek gold in
that way lest the wrath of the gods should
grow hot against them.
The New York herald., 1922-02-26
BY FRANK WARD o'MALLEY.
BURRsvILLE CITY, Feb. 25.

BURRsvuLE CITY, Feb. 25.
1.-TWO of those sudden turns in a mans
whole career which suddenly
change their whole life came last
night to Hon. Cornelius F. x. Quinn just
around his supper.
On account of these unexpected turns in
his career Hon. Quinn didn't arrive at Fire
House for the regular Friday night meet
ing of Borough Council until. roughly
speaking 9:04:O7 o'clock. OF, roughly, four
minutes and seven seconds too late to get
the floor at Council meeting away from
Councilman Luther Mickelman.
Hon. Mckelman, just as Hon. Quinn ar
rived unusually excited, was reading to
Council his annual Presidents report Of
the doings of the Lend A Hand Alliance of
local Evangelical churches during last year
192D.
During the past twelvemonth ALSO"
Hon. Mickelman was reading without hav-
ing to look at the report, he knowing it by
ear, "our Lend Hand Alliance has closed
catessen establishments, charged with sell
ing victuals cooked and sold on the Lords
Day.
Our Lend A Hand Alliance furthermore
along these here same lines has closed
and stopped the cooking and sale of vic
tuals in Tony Johns Night Owl Lunch
Wagon, Public Square. on the Sabbath
Our Lend A Hand Alliance has further
more closed and driven out of the Borough
three"
beautifully named is your Lend A Hand
outfit of blackjackers," here sneeringly
butted in Hon. Quinn very sarcastically, he
fdgeting to get a legal excuse to horn in
on the privileges of the floor.
Hon Mickelman was 50 enwrapt read
ing his report of the Lend Hand that
this was the first he realized Hon. Quinn
was in their midst.
Lend A Hand, eh?" continued quickly
and sneeringly butting in Hon. Quinn.
speaking now in a louder voice and strid-
ing eloquently out into the aisle Cen
tlemen, | pray to heavens that these Lend
A Handlers never charitably decide to help
me with one of their brass knuckle wal
lops on the"
"Mr. Chairman, / protests" heatedly
cried Hon. Mickelman, this expression
being about the only speech Hon. Nickel
man has been able to deliver since Hon.
Quinn got elected to Council.
The New York herald., 1922-02-26

US until we decided to have another look
at the thing.
This time we did something that we
overlooked on our other visit-we read the
paragraph under the picture. That ex-
planned it ALL Those documents that COW
cred the busy-looking gentlemans desk
were not the papers in the Jones real es-
tate deal or the bills to be sent to Brown
G Co. for those fourteen sacks of coffee.
The gentleman was buster than that He
was the scorer in a baseball game that
went to a 33-33 tie! Small wonder that
he seemed to be workingi
Imagine it-33 to 33! How many reams
of paper it must have taken to record all
the hits, assists, runs, putouts, stolen
bases, sacrifices and whatnot in a game
in which sixty-six men crossed the plate.
And the errorsl We almost forgot them.
That dear old contest must have seen
hundred of them. No wonder the scorer
needed a desk to work at He should
have had a corps of bookkeepers to assist
him. And three or four girls at adding
machines.
The New York herald., 1922-02-26

I HROUGH a megaphone one Of Mr..
Hedley's rush hour announcers is
informing the crowd at Times
Square, Uptown trains to the left! Up
to,on trains to the leftr'
Despite the tradition that subway en-
ployees do not speak English, the an
nouncer's message is unmistakable; blandly
Indifferent to what is expected Of him, he
is barking understandably.
"Uptoton trains to the leftP he con-
tinues, uptown TRAINS TO THE
LETT" He speaks only one line in the
great subway drama, but he speaks it well.
What perfect enunciation! What a
resonant ring he gives the commonplace
line! Uptown trains to the left! UP
TOWN TRAINS TO THE LETT"
We decide to greet him and offer our
congratulations. But woman beats us
to it. Good We don't care who congratu-
lates him so long as it's done But no.
We mistake the womans purpose. She Is
asking a question. Can you tell me-" she
is saying, where l can get an uptown
train?"
The poor fellow droops perceptibly. His
next, Uptown trains to the left!" is
pathetically weak; it has hollow sound.
The chap is plainly discouraged. We leave
the tragic scene with the feeling that those
why say an artist doesn't receive much
announcement in America may be right
after all.
The New York herald., 1922-02-26
UR adaptation of conversation over
heard at Carnegie Hall during a
recent Philharmonic concert

"Mommer, what's the man waving the
little stick for?"
"Sh! he's the conductor, Gerald"
Hes a little conduct isn't he, mom-
mer?'
"Yes. Mengelberg is not very tall"
"If he was a conductor In trolley car
he wouldn't be able to reach the bell,
would he mommer?"
BE still, Gerald"
"Mommer, is it hard to wave little
stick like that?"
"Yes. Gerald, very hard"
1T doesn't seem very hard, does It,
mommer?"
There Ia more TO it than waving
baton. And now be quiet Gerald"
"a baton? What's that, mommer7"
THE little stick"
"Oh. see, Look, mommer, he's
sweating"
"Perspiring. Gerald-and what's so
strange about that?"
We'll. tho little stick doesn't weigh
much. and"
BE still Gerald"
The New York herald., 1922-02-26

A ND that reminds us of a mean thing
n we did. An old timer who stood
near us was delivering a disserta-
tion on the superiority of the baseball
players of the vanished days. AS he sol
emnly announced, with a fervent gesture
of the right hand, 1--WE had bigger stars
in them days-much bigger stars I'm tell
in you-than the headliners you've got to-
day" We added, Much bigger scores too"
"Whatdye mean-bigger scores?" he
asked.
Take that Brooklyn-Athletic game" we
said. According to the information under
the picture it was called on account of
darkness at the end of the seventh inning,
with the score standing at 33 to SO"
Young feller." said the old timer with
triumphant light in his eyes that
proves my point Sixtysix runs in one
game! Show me the teams can do that
to-day. There was hitters in them days
real htters.
That routed us; we retired.
The New York herald., 1922-02-26

another look
~ nsas e.
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1922-01-19
SIDE TALKS
bv Ruth Cameron
THE DIFFICULT ART OF BEING SUCCESS
FUI. GRANDMOTHER

Ir u",t' "fl"m luLon Ihnm "dtl'a that Ia
rinIujt"uHIY HIyou
bf ,"uIDr Ih,ro At" iluru WHOM. f"r
tho anTctlg rnd h'rllh or tho 'hlld ono
d"oe fo"l nhn"lutslY lmp"llod - make
s"utn HuPR"atI"uu Eut these Tunes AFRO
Tow r"rurar"L !, tho n"n-rilal Interior
Uir.,G
gpl1 al,uyN that wnq just about ~
sorry Tor tho other anglo or IN" triangle
'',"t forms itsrlr about ~" baby | was
wrong am not 80 sorry for the
Euiiy's =. h"rIuSC they hay" 80 much that
any breach between them amt their
muuthcrs Cauu"r possibly mean as much
"a them ~ II does to Tia. mother. The
younger life Is tho fuller lifr. The old
az always more dependent on the
younG for happiness than they on the
older folks. The Young can afford IN
put up with moro because they have not
80 much at stake.
Re gentle with the grandmotherS. YOU
happy Young mothers. Maybe you can
not believe It. but you may be grand
mothers yourselves some time. and then
ven witt be glad that You had patience
and armed the right TO receive 1t from
4 new generation.
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1922-01-19

VIII You please tell me all there II I"
told about cat asthma. Ii there such 4
iE!Ig nS dog asthma; ! have a i"I"tIN'
who almost dies from her ATTACKS "'
asthma. | ami "lhers nav" th"ukhi Icy
her piny lying M much with d" WI'I' Hh'r
herd dos. our theory has been 'hh' '"'
vrIv short nuo hairs hI'h IT," dog "I'i
arc I"dEui Ia hoT throat and hi"n'h'''
Iul"'H
Anawcr. can tell good deal hh'
not all nh"ut eat nTlhm" la" H'" ~"
,nuI, pc Ahout ~" w"uhr az" ! N'"'"
n"uoInlmE mildly dl-roHV""lfui "'"'
,nIr ond II rromeh I" -" r'"" "'"'
drawing room In tho limit wh"i'E'' o"
inI,l,y alta "a lod up h"i"r" EI"'' me-
with ,pu wrapped about h"r r." Tim h"'
lcpc won't rrntt.r. rr"rurul l"iioIg v'r"
,uut my way. could viaunlN" sowing
and knitting Cirrlaa In lh"ao sitting 90
drawing room nhIurgptlug mo f"r nv
cruel inrinuall"nu nTnlnHl lh"s" I"'""nh
threatening nrvcr. nnver again !" rohl
one word uuIr Or mlne IA" b"lug. nv
along. rather fond nf cats Hnh only act
Ing according "a my ConS' i"n'"'
And now you com" requiring IN" y"
fulNl my> duty ana hold forth about rtt
asthma We'll. the subject IL 4 very old
one. Dread today's motto from SHAKE
spoaro's day. Several other animals.
certainly the horse and the dog Won
may he right about the dog. When l"I
consider that infnntiio rnrnlNsls g.
caused by 4 f1lt"rahlc virus (Which =
beyond the power Of any microscope 4"
drtccU one may believe that an asthma
thus caused Is very possible indeed. TIL"
truth Is the truth--and whatever hctIdc,
I must rc-pr"claim that cat asthma Is
ono Of the Ills which flesh Is heir TO. |
nln scnhlng YOU an article on IN" EHn-
cral subject Of cats.
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1922-01-19

,.I,,..i...r NINA yi..r. , ,I.inw with
r,,o ,.,,r and ,.r, c,rc.i,lll l., l',,~n
,,.ua,.,., ..,,.,,,,rl ,,,., nnr..r nr yrrud
,o.,,hc,ln,,l ,hmu, , VOC, ~"
,-,.,,, -.,,. no, f,,, The fire, rIno
.,o,,, and phc told mo
-. ,,, - ,,hI,h -ururI~rd
Al -. .,,., gr,,,, WIN hoy
.r ,., nav, ON tho
.,,l,,iI.. a.. nrd ~
,,, ,,,l h,r fret
W. ,,,.,.-. .......,,,,,,I, E,s and
t''"'' ''.'
WV ~ N' ,, ,,, ,,. sonc
W. '',''' .,,,a a.. ,hirh her rnur
49,. ~ ...,,,, ..,t b,. r.,rroIry
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''" ,i,.,, ,a,, t'o,ks ,way
49,, ,,., o.,I : ,bourbt
wni'h h'i" ,,,, 10 90,
'h' ""''., Ir,,,rn,, md
NOR ,..,,h
"'t"N ,,.,..,.,,,,, .r,ho h,hy ,,.
ftre - H,.,' "'',,, Sl,na. nd cr,rd.
S'e"" "i =" y, ,.t.., ,ho,,, ,,,,r,
mother 'oHr'"' ~ -, ',,' '' ~ I,.,i,,.
YOU can i'"'A me INV fuT''
- sine" th" NthN ''n'. s''u my "'"
fri"ul she d""Sn seem I" nave any
u~. ror M" any more she nardiy seems
- want me t" tonch we hh'y ana sn%
never pays any attention TO "hythIHE
say. And when N"th''H ''S "r"Vs"'
up four children sue "hEhf 10 Nh""
something R"ut "no'eN' ","" on"
In my fricn" eH'S ~ H''' ''''' :, ,
tom,
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1922-01-19
The New Generation
FRIENDS WITH JOAN AGAIN
BY Jane Phelps

t,.l II seems To me almost immoral
for -, w!duw a Woman who has lived
with un,. man as hts wife. To liv" with
another man In the same relation
And"
hut Joan. dear All ,hes" rc"rl" YOU
gather around YOU think nothing OF Ill
vorce and rcUlarr!Hgc.
Il don't have them around because OF
their ideas on such matters. hut he
cause they are bright ami entertaining,
What they do docSu't AFFECT me In the
least What YOU d". does. | didn't asa
You to bring me- into III" world. but You
did Now you owe il To me 10 nuke me
as happy as lou can--at least TO Keep
nr from being unhappy.
Margaret flushed. Joan was reason
ing lust us she had Her daughter WAS
claiming her rights.
We'll dear. suppose We stop DISCUSS
!ng Il once f"r all she remarked after
moment. Il give Nou my word | am
not engaged To marry anyone. HAY" u"
such iutention I also pr"misc never TO
become engaged without nr~t telling N"u.
| nc,"g have failed YOU. Joan. snhll
not fan ,uu NOW " Her vote" Ir"mhlrd
quick &" repent a. ah" hal been 1"
resent Joan tool, hrr m"th"r Ia her
young nrnr nrh h'rrrd ;"rri,"ucrn
You rhould have talked ~Irh IN" long
nyo Hike ,hl- rh" rnId "nuh then /
-nuul,Ir ln," been unfairly and mad"
YOU 20, too She did not Ne" tho uulN"r
,ltt rIpurd over NarVnr"tr fn"o hid
d"u "n her uh"uld"r nor ia" hlunh that
ave. 49, rl," remembered ~ wnG only
tho DAY hn(orc ah" had broken her Gu
r1v"m'ut
Innn qouu recovered hcr rrirlir now
. ina ,tnr van assured sh" had been In
tho wronr. nul set Hh"u, making q
,hartng dI,N lunch. "tr"In"d rhi"k"u
today Mumsj". and all sorts 90 goodies
Nld N,ruai"' wen hay" coffee and
CRACKERS aud cheese 10 celebrate. sold
another articles yesterday. only $50.
bat every mn" hrlrs. YOU know
"I.c' ~" hrlr you. dear. Let IN" pay
yuur rent or something.
NO. fnr worlds. I'm no gutter.
, Come. luncheon is ready MumSi", Eat
aud h" merry. for tomorrow the cup
board may he bare
romorrow-A Wedding That Creates
Envy.
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1922-01-19
Rad Nona md Cold Feet

am IS NrHIS'i AE" Hnd am hHh"h'''
To zen anyone an am inv S'"" ~ 49,
az u or Is, hat lE"h '"h' 81 lhem arc
taller haven't grown "h" men '"'
uh"ui tvs" S"nIs. anal VIII S"u I'I'h"" NY
/" h'lp Ia" ana " II IL. weight ~"
r""''d'. -" | ""' ""I N'' '"ii. Also ga"
}"' ten 49," n'"''"'"E =" Il" '"' '"' ''''
ar '''' '''''' - '''' ~ ~"
P'' t"'' AS" -" -" "" ''' ""''
good i"i cora Tee. j""' 49, '''''" 49, ~"
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1922-01-19
Curtis. Trnct OF land in DrfdgsporG

Curtis Trnct OF land in Bridsspsrt.
$40.
Quit claim Deed
AnnIo McConeghy and Marcus McCoh- :
cghy to sylvester Moore. Undivided IN.
forest In tract Of land In Goshen tWD.
! Consideration 800.
Marriage Licenses
Okcy Garrison. ago 20. farmer. aAo
ora Burke, age ~, both Of Bellatre.
Father Whitman performed the core
mOny.
Charles Joseph Brinker. age II. . coal
miner. and Gladys Lappert, age ID. BON
Of Bellalre Rev. c. w. Cooper par.
formed the ceremony.
Earl Clyde Nichols. age -, . trSeter
driver. and Ora Abigail Showaltsr, aIe
20, both of Belmont. Squire Henry -.
, Davis performed the ceremony.
New Gases Piled
| John J. Nader vs. Joseph c. Gary ana
Flora Gary. Action for money only.
amount claimed s106.65 with interest
Petition alleges that the above sum y
due for goods sold defendant BY piain-
tiff. Attorney victor hehTeF' Eopt
cnts the plaintiff.
+. A. Bunnll VS. Leon c. Herrick ct
al Action for temporary and perma-
nent Injunction and other EQUITABLE re-
lief md for damages in the sum OF
.3OO, Petition alleges that pla!nun -
The owner OF land In Mead townsnip
and that defendants are cutting hHAi.
,rc.s md nliing dirt on tho land ana
preparing to erect n frame htructuIe.
, Attorney X. w. Schertzer represents ths
| pinlntin.
0oss TO Fen
! John SlOpnclt. nontnncfd on inht saon.
dny TO tho Ohio renitcntiary Tor from
Z 10 10 y-nrH by Judge warren W. CIV
, cu will DO taken Ia Tint INSTITUTION .o'
DIV by Sheriff Lynch. Rlopncx was ih'
dlrtrd for burglary nnd larceny IN ooh-
rcc,,or with tho breaking md robbinH
~ nnre., .,oro at Maynard carly last
ruumcr. Ito wan found guilty OF purk.
I,rv nv n Jury tho latter part OF last
q November
/ Bsrvics star Legion
Tho Service Star Legion met yesteI'
div afternoon nj 2o'clock In tho Prev
byicrinn church. a large NUMBER wero
prcscnt and fine program was rehoereo
/ Funeral
! Funeral services for the late ME-
JemIma Thompson will be held from the
home Of her daughter Mrs. 9eor9e
Thornburg on East Main street THIS
afternoon at 2 o'clock. Rev. /. +. Lepsr
will be- in charge or the services Anu ~
! hcrmcnt will be made in the Union Gem.
: etery.
John I. Lewis
The many friends OF John i. LeWh
. late OF Belmont, Ohio. were greAuy
, shocked to hear Of his death at the ONO
Valley General hospital on TuesaAy
afternoon about 4 o'clock. 1t 10 s0tsa
that blood poisoning was tho cause OF
his death. Mr. Lewis was ono OK tne
prominent men OF Belmont and Vas ven
known In this community.
st. ClAiTsvtlls 1r1s(s
Attorney Il. W. SchertIer Of beluI1e
was II business caller hero yestefoAy
Miss Lucy Cochran spent WsdnseaAV
at Wheeling
Attorney David James OF BTidUsport
wus IN town on Luain1sA yesterday.
T.. IL. workman OF bellAirs was caJuNG
uu local friends yesterday.
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1922-01-19


.,,: N,r-
Joan sax at "'' ',., oc ,h,,
Enret 'nt'r'" .u"''f, r..,,,f.
typewriter =" - ,,,,,r v.s
Joan i'"N'" ""'''' h, at
covered "''" Nr'', s, -, ~. d,v
though II Was Sl"' carry ,,,,, h,,I
HH' """,,H -
acc"mp"Sne" "'"'"' ..J
Good morning. dear M"'k''''
AZ last. Il see E"A nave P''"''
me 10 do
IT dldr'; expect YOU"
,.,,.n,. nat" always com" twice 4
-,
,,,,....,, r.r,y hut went on type
.,,,,,,.
400. .,,, for q moment. | want
,m' ,.r,M w.,
80. t..,,..,s ,.,,,,I above the key
,n,,, ,I.,,r-.rcali, talk Scrt-
~. ,sn,n rlu, umr her hands
Ito her lap.