The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1922-09-07
SON do say when he hammers his
thumb"

Once friend of Mark Twain's wa
e conyersing with him regarding ter
r rible affliction of person known t
n them both. The friend said: "Ca
e you imagine anything worse tina
( having diphtheria and scarlet feve
n at the same time?" EYES," reptile
Mark; II can easily imagine som
! things worse than that--for instance
rheumatism and St. Vitus' dance"
An old timer, at the pioneer cele
! bration at Dewey Grove last week
told this story Of the days of 81 a
Idaho City in the Boise Basin: Ac
| cording to the story, former citi
zen of that mining town came bacl
after years absence for visit. Or
the street he met a man known al
over the state as first class fighting
man. well, JIM" the visitor in
quired, chow is Bill Carey coming
now Bill, " echoed Jim. "Why, Bill
committed suicide few weeks ago."
Suicide! You don't tell me! new
er would have thought it. Tell me,
how did it happen ?" "Well," drawl-
ed Jim, "Bill got all excited and called
me a liar"
Three men, an Irishman, Swede
and Hebrew, were brought into
court. The Hebrew was arrested for
stealing COW; the Swede for steal
ing a horse, and the Irishman for
stealing a wagon. "Well," said the
judge, turning to the Hebrew, where
did you get the cow" "I've had it
since it was calf" was the reply.
where did you get the horse?" he
asked the Swede. "I've had it since
it was colt" replied the Swede.
"And, Patrick, where did you get the
wagon?" Oh, your honor, I've had it
since it was wheelbarrow"
& 4 e
During an examination in history
the teacher asked a little chap who
discovered America. The boy was
evidently terrified and hesitated, much
to the teachers surprise, to make any
reply. "Oh, please, ma'am," he fin
ally stammered, task me something
else" Something else, Jimmy? Why
should do that ?" "The fellows was
talking about it yesterday" replied
Jimmy. "Pat MCGEE said it was dis
covered by an Irish saint. Olaf he
said it was a sailor from Norway,
and Giovanni said it was Columbus;
an if you'd a-seen what happened yo
wouldn't ask little fellow like me-"
A story that harks back to the Civ
| war concerns a troop of Confeder-
ite mountain volunteers and their
colonel. They had been sent for by
ertain Confederate town, but before
hey could arrive the federal forces
we're in command of the city. The
uxiliaries arrived in the night and
ound the town deserted. Not caring |
o mix unnecessarily with the Union /
roops, they turned around and rode I
ut of the town by the first gate and :
Dad they found. Before them :
tretched a fine smooth highway, and
1ey took to it for all they were
'orth. They rode all night without
assing any villages or signs of civ
ization. The countryside seemed not
My deserted, but demolished as we'll
hen the sun peeped over the Blue
idge mountain the colonel drew up
lddenly. whats the matter, suh,"
'ked his lieutenant Dammit, subj"
jared the colonel, we've been gallop-
G around race track all night"
al have seen some hard winds in my
me-" remarked Old Bill Misgivens as
wiped the dust out of his eyes,
nd have learned few things from
servation and experience. One is
at when you are facing a hard wind
ep your mouth shut. One day when
lived in western Kansas / was trav-
ng with tenderfoot from the East.
, was long, slender man about
It 3 inches long and about inches
de. He had no more meat on his
mes than a fork handle and was
out the most emaciated looking per-
4 ever saw. As l was saying, one
y we started to ride across the
airie, when the wind came up in our
,es, blowing at the rate of hun
ID miles or so, That tenderfoot
med his mouth to say something to
. heard him make a curious
Sc and looked around to see what
S the matter and saw that he had
dvertently swallowed about six or
en- barrels of wind He looked like
inflated air cushion and seemed
be about four times the size he nat