davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
, 1922-09-18


If an Englishman could pull a joke this woulI
be considered a huge one: but an eleven billion
dollar joke is away beyond an E~nglishman. The
old hoy is serious. But where does he get that can.
collation. stuff he so gliby suggests?
Surely Britain presents nothing in her history re-
motely approaching the forgiveness of debts due her
or refusal. of money loaned by her. If she can
show aught but insistence upon full payment Of
money regardless of hardship to the debtor, or can
change the opinion of the world respecting her tend
ency to grab the territory of other nations and peo.
pies, rightfully, wrongfully or otherwise in order
TO gain possession. then she would more properly
be fitted TO lead a debt cancellation campaign. She
has set no example and precedent looms larger
in the English mind than it does IN the Ameri-
can mind.
Well is it remembered in America that in the
days following the civil strife in our own land. and
the gloomy financial prospects that harassed us
as the aftermath, when money to us was the most
valuable thing in the world, we were shown no len
iency by the nation that has profited by the war
and increased her national wealth by hundreds OF
billions of dollars in territory and raw materials
not to mention the elimination of her greatest com.
mercial competitor and transportation rival.
Britain has no basis for her preposterous sug.
sgestion than her monumental cheek.
, 1922-09-18
We All Lose

THE COAL STRIKE has ended and both soft and
L hard coal miners are back at work at the same
wages and same working conditions that prevailed
April 1, when the strike began. The net result
of the walkout is a loss of hundreds of millions
IN strikers wages, more millions in operators prof
its, still more millions to consumers in higher
prices for fuel, and a great deal of discomfort to
all concerned. 1t is true that a commission will in
quire into the coal industry with a view to recon-
mending beneficial reforms, but otherwise the
status quo of last spring has been maintained.
Whether the fault lies with the workers or the
owners, the fact is that the stupidity of strikes
has seldom been so g~laringly revealed as in the
coal controversy. Neither side gained its object.
and both sides and the public lost heavily.
, 1922-09-18
You re Always a Boy
To Your Ma


Don't frown at our mother,
When she calls you her boy"
For, to mother. you never grow old.
And tho she looks at her man child
now with joy
She lives in the days when you cried
for a toy;
All. you're only a boy to your Ma.
The dear ntsle love-ohld.
She held close % her breast,
The tear stained face and little stub
bed toe.
The shy boy who whispers. why
Ma, don't you know
That I am my own little sweetheart's
first beau?
All, you're only a boy to your Ma.
You belong to another
And she calls you her man"
And now together life's battles you
meet;
But mother-love sees stir the dimples
and tan.
To her the memories of childhood are
sweet;
All. you're only a boy" to your Ma.
Just e boy" to your Ma.
No matter how old you may grow;
Just a boy" to your mother,
Tho the years swiftly flow.
And tho YOU belong to another.
In her heart of hearts
You never grow old.
You are always a boy TO your Ma
Mrs. Lillian L. Van Burgh.
Casper. Wyo.
, 1922-09-18
The Mermaid's Gift

A beautiful mermaid fen in love
With a youth who lived on land,
And they used to meet in the moon
light pale
And spoon on the silver sand.
But there came a night when the ner.
maid wept.
~ must away said she.
T marry a norman king who rules
The dim world under the sea"
But here is a parting gift" she cried.
From your green eyed ocean girl.
A treasure rare from an amber cave
In a grotto built of pearl"
And a left in his hand a snowy shell
Ere h sank to her coral cloister-
He opened it, 10! and found within
a plump and succulent oyster.
-MINNA IRVING.
, 1922-09-18
Militaru Burdens

" monthly letter to its clients, calls attention to
the fact that the standing armies of the world to
tai ~6,1I9.OO0 men. This makes of Europe nothing
more or less than an armed camp.
Thirteen nations have larger standing armies
than the United States, and in the figures Ger
many is not counted as having a single soldier.
If anyone can advance a single valid excuse for
the withdrawal of this vast number of men from
productive operations to be supported by the toll
-ers and taxpayers of the world we should like 10
hear the excuse.
1t is significant that criticism should come from
a great financial institution; and it is a cause for
wonder that more business concerns of the world
do not voice protest.
, 1922-09-18
Law of CONSPIRACY

0UITE LIKELY the United States supreme court
q will decide if it ever has the opportunity, that
fne same limitations that apply to combinations OF
capital also apply to combinations of labor. We
have in mind just at this moment the decision
rendered in the suit brought by a bank to enjoin
"a group of banks from gathering up a lot of checks
land presenting them all at once in order to en-
starrass or break the bank against which they
were drawn. The banks that presented the checks
-eontended that they had a right TO present the
%rnecks whenever it suited their CONFERENCE.-The
fhey could present them one at a time or thew
.Aould accumulate them for a month aud present
them all at once. The purpose of presenting them
~. at once was TO coerce the bank into doing some
thing it did not want to do.
Inc supreme court held that while the banks
holding checks against another bank had a right
s@o present them whenever they chose TO do so in
he ordinary course of business. thew did NOT %.ra
the night 70 accumulate the checks and present
.-sthem IN thy the purpose Of breaking down
me pnsi AZ bank called upon to por. In
9thsr Y kaay do legal! when acting
, 1922-09-18
The Hunter

Bluff January skates and sieds
And tinSling sleigh bells brings.
And February wears a heart
And cupld's rosy winga.
March Stops along in rubber boots.
And April spreads With care
A green umbrella DER her head,
Although her feet arc bare.
May drives a loaded moving a
And June a sheepstin shows.
July IN with fireworks
But with a reaper goes.
Ard August paddles a canoe
And drowses in the sun.
But tanned s%eRtember sports n Jog
A game bag and a gun
-Afinaa Irving.
, 1922-09-18
indispensable Equipment

DURING the recent war the lack Of ships pre-
IL vented us from marketing a great part Of our
surplus products and caused tremendous finan.
cial losses to all classes of citizens.
The farmers especially suffered, and they should
be the ones now to support most heartily the ef-
forts of the administration to insure a reasonably
large American merchant marine.
The table below from reports of the agricultural
department shows the expectation of wheat dur
ing recent fiscal years:
, 1922-09-18

separately and in the usual course of business, they
may not do if they act by concert and for an evil
purpose.
The same principle would seem to apply to the
right OF men TO qVit work. While they may quit
seyerally. and in the ordinary course of employ
collectively for the purpose of breaking down an
other mans business would be just as unlawful as
the collection and Presentation Of bank checks.
, 1922-09-18

Readers -
Wen. Readers. I am a New Bird
around here and I do not wish TO do
much Peeping. as yet. because New
Laid Birds should be seen and not
heard. as the poet hath n. I believe
However. I viii say that I ser
tainly Ike this town fine. II only
I Will Live Long Enough TO enjoy
II. But when I came out TO this
country I am figuring on a Short
Life and a Gay One" This is what
the Baby say which drinks what IS
sold TO him by a Bootlegger as
Appiejack. and finds out Very
Shortly afterwards that the stuff
Is only Japelac after all.
Wen. l come in town the other
day to get a job on this Rag. or
Paper. like a guy will do which is
rushing about working on Newspa-
pers at one time and another: and
1 no more than set my feet In the
place before / begin to take my life
in my Hands and. do a Japanese
Juggling Act with IT, I am figuring
there are a Lot of things Doing
out here. but I do not realize how
Fast guys are doing them! I am
used TO a Berg like New York.
where a bird can go along Slow II
he wants TO without getting Tele-
scoped. However. you can not do
that around here I will tell All and
Sunday. A baby which does that
around here viii serctainiy land
on his Neck. all spread out like n
Swedish Strawberry Festival or a
Sunday Plcnicls.
, 1922-09-18
The Bally Nerue of I'm

OUR ESTEEMED British cousin, Balfour, with
" the characteristic nerve and calmness of an
Englishman makes a serious financial proposal
that is nothing less than startling to the inteili-
gence of even the liberal American mind. He de
sires that the following war debts, money loaned
by the American people to European nations, be
cancelled, charged off the books and dismissed
from memory:
, 1922-09-18

FFINoRK and the world works with you; strike.
W and you strike alone Some day we will get
around to a situation which will Justify the as.
sertinu.
, 1922-09-18

Well. my Boss wishes to show me
the town. SO a guy which is n friend
OF his says he will shoot us around
in his car This baby sells Real
Estate; and believe me. he shoots
us around. all right, 1t is a won
der the both OF lis are not so fun
OF holes we will make n Callander.
or Sieve. look like It was Water
Tight This baby is a Two Car Bad
Man, and while he is Showing us the
Scenery and point out how nice the
Sage Brush grows on some lots he
has got land will sell Very Reason
able. Believe Him. at Most Moder-
ate TermsD, a Car around the
corner at a Muzzle Velocity OF about
IS miles per Minniti
Why we are not parked IN
against some fine Cut Glass. o. are
resting Uneasily on top of a Tele-
phone Pole l do not know. ! VIII
give you my words on that Any
how. my Boss sees this car and says
kind Of Mildiy-Look out. he says
and this Two Car Bad Man pivots
on his Rear Axel, makes a turn, and
is off down a side street showing
us some more Real Estate and
Scenery Gn equal proportions), be
fore anybody is Killed.
Well, he Is sertainly a Good Bad
Man. all right. Nobody Fan come so
near getting Busted Up into Small
Lots as he does without being a
'veiy good Two Car Bad Man. And
he is a nice guy, and all. But the
next time he asks me and my Boss
to go riding, my Boss can go for
both of US. 1 will tell the Bunapy
World
, 1922-09-18


I hit IN this yoInt off OF Hale
Ho,den's Burlington team train a
shcrt time ago. and the first thing
i DO Is look around 10 SEQ where
are the Cowboys. and Bad Men, and
the Two Gun Guys, and s4forth. I
am very disappointed I do not see
any right away. because where l
am hack East ] am doping 1t o-t
that there will be n lot OF Bronko
busters Mustang Masseuses and
Pinto Pushers around with these
things they call Fellows. or Chaps,
on their legs. shooting up the Town
and booking like a Animated Fringe.
OF course. I will not be out in h
street long wntching these birds
when they begin the shooting: but
will dive through the nearest door
WY or into a Sewer End AXE
'.whatever protection the Ercnnd af-
fords." as they say in the late Army.
However. ! an very interested in
them until they start shooting.~and
after that I figure 1 will only Hear
them.
Well, nothing like this m out
here these daze. I am notaeiag.
Reader. The Two Gun guys OF the
West is gone where the Poison Ivy
Twineth and the grass is ever
green Keats. / think. There is
not any more Bad Gun Men They
ali take up Jobs in the Movie, L
guess, from tho number of them I
seen on the Screen now. But the
{ Great West Is a whole lot more
DANCE now than II is in the
daze Of the Hard Riding. Hard
Shooting, Bunch. believe me; be-
cause there Is plenty Of Bad Auto
Menl
The Fur-Bearing Cowboy which
once wears these Fellows. or Chaps.
and is aiways looking as II his legs
are needing a Shave. is not so
Prominent nowdaze. He is replaced
by the Clean Cut Autoboy. which
wears a high powered car or per
haps a Fiivver under him, and is so
Hard Riding that he makes the old
Ranger look Sedentary, 1t is SER
tainiy no life for a Nervous Wom-
an around this burg; although I.
like It fine. as I am saying.
Well. Reader. I am standing on
the corner OF h street after I get
off the train. and I Casually Step
off the Curb to go across the way.
AS I do this Something goes past
me which I first think is a Comic,
or Shooting Star, and next think is
a Bolt g. Lightning. II does not
Miss Me more than 3-s Of a inch
Tor maybe 5-16-I am not good at
Higher Mathametics); but anyway
while am looking around to see
what Does Not Hit met. and How
it happens, not to. Something goes
, 1922-09-18
Two-Car Men Are Worse
Than Old Two-Cun Men
Ever Was, Hey Reader?
BY JOHN ~HANDSHAKER
Especial Casper Ccrrespondentl

by from the other direction. And
this guy is a better Shot. He does
not Miss.
Wei. when I hohbie back 70 m.
Sanctuary OF the Sidewalk with
n leg which is doing me Practic
ally no good ! look around and .
couple OF blocks down TIE street in
both directions is a Two Car Ra.i
Man-whieh IS the bird That re-
places the Two Gun Man Of From.
tie Daze. Reader. a Two Car RAD
Man is a guy which keeps Two car-.
so when one OF them gets all dusty
and Spsttered Up with Citizens. ne
can have IT washed and use the
other withou: losing any time.
And believe me fhcse babies Drive
what I mean They can draw a
bead on you over the radiator.
(which 10 equipped with a Front
Sight, / guess, so ms to make 'em
Aceurate), and they viii Shoot
the Cigarette right out OF your
mouth with edge OF tho wind shield
two times out OF three, The trou.
bic Is with me that 1 am the Victim
OF the Third Timel
I am thinking some as I nurse
my Leg OF the immoral lines OF the
Poet Biron. which Is dedicated 10
Victims OF Two Car Bad Men. and
which go you remember:
Half a Leg.
Half a leg.
Haif n leg Hopping:
Right past the Manned and Dead
Autos go popping; .
Theirs not to throv. the clutch,
Theirs not to stop-not muchI
Just heave the guy n crutch.
Let him go hoppings'
tBiron. rs Z recall ~
You will see guys stnnding around
town on street crossings sometimes
probably which looks as il Their
Pants is kind OF Baggy at the
Knees. But il you viii look Close.
Reader. you will notace that tho
Pants is not really Bagsy. 1t oniy
gives that appearance because the
Owner is all ready to Jump at a
seconds notace,
Omaha daily bee., 1922-04-18
By RUBY M. AYRES.
icepyIisAti IssJ.l

proceeded 10 order dinner, lie told
the waiter that he Was expecting anH
other lady, bu, when the meal Was
half way through madame had sElll
not arrived. 49,,
"Perhaps she won't come At all, "
Elizabeth suggested,
"Oh, yes she willP Farmer an'
swefed. "Mell wait little longer,
at any rate" lie hall turned In his
chair. DO you see that siFl over
theFel No, 10 the flghI-the one IN
bright green"
Elizabeth followed the direction OF
his gaze aud saw Enid Sanger, with
a noisy party. dining at table in
an aleoye. The color rushed 10 her
face.
THAT'S Roysion's WIFE," Farmer
said.
II he had hoped 10 starile her he
was disappointed.
"Yes. | know. I've seen her be-
fore" was all Elizabeth said. Il think
shes pretty, don't you:"
lie laughed shortly.
Tastes differ. | don't admire her, !"
He filled up the glass which Eliza
beth had only just tasted. There's
dancing downstairs" he said present.
ly. We'll go and watch il madame
does not come directly. That is, ii
you care TO.
II should love it,
Elizabeth tried To speak with en-
thusiasm; tried not TO look in Ends
direction agan, but. against her will,
her eyes went back many times TO
that noisy table.
There was a great deal OF laugh
ter and chattering and popping OF
corks and every one seemed 10 be
enjoying themselves tremendously,
she thought. and wondered where
Royston was.
Farmer seemed 10 read her
thoughts, Tor he said suddenly: Its
quite the modern idea oil married life
nowadays for the husband TO go one
way and the wife another. isn't it,
IL don't know: | suppose it is. y
"Roys.on and his wife are never
seen anywhere together, he said. His
eyes met hers haughtily. That chap
hates me like the devil, you know"
Docs he? | wonder why" Eliza
beth did not really wonder. she could
understand quite well, but she felt
that she must answer.
Jealous. perhaps Farmer said,
casually. Il ran into him last night,
and he asked after you.'
After mc?' She was afraid to
raise her eyes.
Eyes, he took it for granted that |
saw you every day.
Elizabeth could not have answered
had her lie depended upon it, and
Farmer went on with studied care
lessness: He was with that dark
Omaha daily bee., 1922-04-18
solicitor" for
Boys Home Held
Man, Accused Of Representing
Self as Father Flanagan's
Agent, Arrested.

{. r. Acton was arrested at Nor
folk, Ncb., Saturday and brought to
Omaha charged with obtaining
money under false pretenses. It is
charged he represented himself as
a solicitor for Father Flanagans S
BOYS home, securing considerable
sums of money. ~. -
I'VE heard of this mans .activi-
ties some weeks ago." said Father
Flanagan, "but it was not until last
Saturday that he was caught.
II wish to warn the public against
giving donations to anyone without
first making certain that such per-
son is really representing that In
stitution," continued Father Elan
agan. This easily can be done by
telegraphing to the head Of the in
stitution, the Chamber of Commerce,
the chief OF police or any public Of
ficial in the city in which the insti-
tuition is located.
Beware Of all persons asking tor,
or showing slightest preference tor
cash. An authorized agent always
would prefer to receive check. And
be sure that such check is made pay
able to the institution itself, and not
to the solicitor. Never make check
payable to a solicitor. 1t is best to
write across back OF check, tor de-
posjt ONLY" ~-.s
Omaha daily bee., 1922-04-18
Man Laughs at Rum Fine as
..Friend's' Car Ordered Sold

Charles X. McCoy. IuS North
Eighteenth street. laughed softly as
he was led out OF police court yes
terday after he had been fined $lOO
for illegal possession OF liquor and
his motor car had been conhscated"
and ordered sold.
ITS Sims car" Mccoy added.
Looks like he's going to be out a
car. Don't know who Slim is-new
friend; | was sitting in the car
waiting for him when up came a
policeman and, finding liquor, took
me and the bus, the one the courts
going to sell. Ii it wasn't such a
blow to Slim I'd get a good laugh
out of it.
Judge Foster, believing police
found three gallons OF whisky in
the car but not lending 'credence to
"Slim" as an owner. issued the order
for the sale of the machine.
Omaha daily bee., 1922-04-18
II Boys Here Sign Up
for Columbus ~ Camp

Twenty-seven boys have signed up
ior the Omaha Y. M. c. A. Camp
Sheldon cncampment at Columbus
under direction of E. E. Mickle-
wright, boys work secretary.
This summer the Omaha, Y. M.
C. A. will have three periods OF ~
days each at the camp, one tor
grade school boys, one for younger
high school boys and the third tor
older high school leaders. !.
Last year the Omaha camp took
second place in the competition be-
tween camps fropl the Missouri
river to the mountains.
The younger high school boys
period this summer will open June
20, the grade school period July ).
and the older high school period
August 81. Registrations are limit
cd to 100 boys for each period.
Omaha daily bee., 1922-04-18

haired giTl, great pals, aren't lheyF
You mean AEsta Stacey ses,
"Ihat her name. ! didn't know :
90 you think il's true that he would
marry her il he could get rid Of his
Wife5"
4 don't knew, I'm sure
Farmer drained his glass and set
il down
"All sorts Of stories get around
about people. don't they" he asked
lnditieFentiy,
YES" The tables about them
were emptying; whenever the swing
doors ol the big room opened Eliza
beth caught the strain ai music,
III madame Is not coming, don't
You think We had better go'' size
asked At last,
lie rose AZ once,
lust as you like. dare say she's
been detained" lie took up Eliza
beth's cloak. Shall We Just have
one peep al the dancing
Il should like TO-"
" Nuh HbA hAAte iAi bt1 hsehA
vas 10 90 home. but she was in ter
FOR lest Farmer should guess how
his careless words about Pat Roys-
ton had hurt her.
They went downstairs 10 the BALI
room together. IL was not very
crowded as yet. and the floor looked
tempting.
Best floor in London" Farmer
said. lie found an easy chair for
Elizabeth and stood beside her, ..
"There's Ro, ston's wife, dancing.
he said suddenly, THAT chap she's
with Is Garston-Lord Gatston, You
know. He's silly ass OF a fellow.
She's got him IN tow spends all his
money Tor him."
"Yes.' said Elizabeth.
tcontlnued IN The Bee Tomorrow
Omaha daily bee., 1922-04-18


lie was gone without giving Eliz'
abeth time 10 say another word. -.
She went upstairs slowly. She did
not want TO go with him: she would
rather have spent the evening alone,
and yet -
What was the use OF shutting
everything out OF her heart for the
sake OF one man who cared nothing
for her? He had forgotten even the
little there had been 10 remember.
Well. she would try TO forget also.
She put on her newest froek; she
dressed her hair in French fashion
which madame liked: she even III a
last moment oil recklessness added a
touch oi rouge to her pale checks.
She felt little bit afraid ot her re-
flection when she went TO the glass
ior final inspection. 80,
IT'S not mel" she thought. I'm
glad it's not. ! wish | could be some
one different always"
She was ready before Farmer
called for her, and waiting downstairs
in the studio.
She studied her dainty reflection
in ono OF the long mirrors and
thought OF the unhappy. dowdy little
person she had been that night-so
long ago it sccmed-of her first
meeting with Royston.
Now she was entirely different
silk stockings and dainty shoes, the
latest. thing in frocks, the latest style
in hairdressing-and yet the worst
OF it was she knew that'she was still
the same Elizabeth.
She was just as timid, just as un-
worldly, just as much out of place in
this new life for which Farmer and
madame were doing their best to
equip her. -.
"Where do we meet madame:' she
asked anxiously as they drove away
together.
probably will be, Judging from my
experience with her; but she will
come. There is to be a dance alter
ward" His eyes turned admlringly
to her. you will like that"
She smiled and nodded.
"Yes, but will madame ~
"She will if I ask her Now. have
you quite made up your mind to en-
joy yourself tonight"
"Oh, yes"
He laughed at her dubious tone.
81 thought you were going to re-
fuse to- come with me at first" he
said candidly.
His friendliness disarmed her; pre-
sently she found herself talking away
to him more easily than she had ever
done. ~
Even when they reached Delmar.
MOS and madame did not put in ar
appearance, Elizabeth did not mind
there was new recklessness in hei
blood: she wanted to enjoy herself
and be like other people.
Madame is late-I knew she
would be-" Farmer said calmly. He