The New York herald., 1922-04-30

drals that have been growing for
thousand years, and of village
churches built while people believed
in God.
Goodbye. America! I am going
home.
Goodbye to Land
OF Split Infuitives
Goodbye to the land Of new Lam
guage in growth, Of split infinitives
and crossbred words; the land where
a dinner jacket is Tuxedo" spit
toon "cuspidor'; where your opin-
ion is called your reaction" and
where "vamp," instead Of meaning an
improvised accompaniment to song.
means a dangerous female! Goodbye
to the land where grotesque exagger-
alton is called humor, and people cape
in bewilderment at irony, as bullock
gapes at a dog straying in his field!
Good bye to the land where strangers
say "Glad to meet you, sir" and really
seem glad; where children whine their
little desires, and never grow much
older; where men keep their trousers
up with belts that run through loops.
and women have to battle in stockings.
am going to land Of ancient speech.
where we still say record" and CON
cord'' for "recud' and "concud'';
where necessarily" and "extraordi-
narily" must be taken at one rush, as
hedge e-ditch- -and-rail in the hunting
field; where we do not commute" or
check or page but take a sea-
son" and Register" and send a boy
round: where we never say we are
glad to meet q stranger. and seldom
are; where humor is understatement,
and irony is our habitual resource In
danger or distresss where children are
told they are meant to be seen and
not heard; where 1t Is bad form" To
express emotion, and suspenders are
a strictly feminine article of attire.
Goodbye. America! Lam going home.
Goodbye to the multitudinous papers,
indefinite Of opinion, crammed with
insignificant news and asking you TO
continue a first page article on page
90, column 8! Goodbye to the weary
platitude, accepted as wisdom's latest
revelation! Goodbye to the docile
audiences that lap rhetoric for susie
nance! Goodbye to politicians con-
tending for aims more practical than
principles Goodbye to Republicans
and Democrats. distinguishable only
by mutual hatred! Goodbye to the
land where Liberals are thought dam
gerous and Radicals show red! Where
Mr.. Gompers is called a Socialist and
Mr.. Asquith would seem advanced.
A land too large for concentrated in
dignation; a land where wealth be-
yond the dreams of British profteers
dwells, dresses, gorges and luxuriates
emulated and unashamed ! am going
to land Of politics violently diver
gent: a land where even Coalitions
cannot coalesce: where meetings
break up in turbulent disorder, and
no platitude avails to soothe the saw
age breast; a land fierce for personal
freedom and indignant with rage for
Justice; land where wealth is taxed
out OF sight or for very shame strives
to disguise its luxury; a land where
an ancient order 10 passing away and
leaders whom you call extreme are
hailed by Lord Chancell6rs as the very
fortifications Of security. Goodbye,
America! I am going home.
Goodbye to prose chopped up to look
like verse! Goodbye to the indiscrimi-
mating appetite which gulps lectures
as opiates and printed matter" as
literature! Goodbye TO the wizards and
witches who ask to psycho-analyze
my complexes. inhibitions and silly
dreams Goodbye to the exuberant
religious or fantastic beliefs by whicl
unsatisfied mankind still strives des-
perately to penetrate beyond the
flaming bulwarks of the world. Good
bye Americans! am going to a land
very much like yours. am going to
your spiritual home.