The Bottineau courant. (Bottineau, Bottineau County, N.D.) 1895-1929, 1922-12-28
The Two Hungry
Trarnps

By JOHN PALMER


= BY JOHN PALMER
Copyright, 1922. Western Newspaper Union
II dunno as l understand you, Bill
complained his friend and fellow-hobo
Larry. "We've been good pals this six
months, and we've tramped or ridden
cur way half acrost the continent. But
we've had a tough time, there's nc
denying it.
"Folks amt what they used ter be,
sence prohibition come in. In the good
old days most any farmhouse was
good for a hand-out of bread and
meat, but nowadays a honest tramp
has his work cut out IL he's going to
earn a decent living.
"We've slept out in the rain, be-
cause of them ~hard-hearted dogs they
keeps chained up against the barn
doors. We've been shown the broom
by nearly all the female ho~usekeepers
this side of the Pacific. It's all right
for me, Bill, but / don't understand
about you.
You tell me you got a good home
back East and earned a good living
before you took this crazy idea In
your head to become a hobo. You've
got a grocery business, and you've
turned 1t over to your wife. And here
you are, cumming it along the pike
with me.
Il don't say nothing about your
queer ways, Bill. It's always me that
goes up to the farm, and gets hit
across the head and bit by the dog,
and when ! do git q hand-out it's
been share and share alike from the
beginning. I've stood fer that, but
is 1t reasonable, Bill?"
swell, I'll talk straight to you, Lar
~" answered his friend. IT left home
because my wife's got the worst
tongue between the Atlantic and the
Rockies, and that's a fact. Gosh, how
that m al talk! I've timed her
four solid hours without stopping to
take breath. Larry, | got SO sick of
1t that I jest had to 60. No mortal
man could stand fer it.
Larry shook his head. That's
tough. Bill, old pal" he said.
at surely is. Larry, and that's why
l can't go up to the farm-houses and
ask fer a hand-out. The very thought
of a woman's tongue makes me feel
faint. Larry, | believe I'd die If a
oma ever spoke cross to me again."
That's all right, Bill" said Larry,
"but you got to take your share of
what's coming. It's my belief It's all
imagination. You jest got that idea
into your head and can't get it out.
What you got to do Is to get &C.
climated by degrees.
"Now we got to eat, and there's a
peach of a nice little woman at that
farmhouse over yonder, and. there
amt no dog neither. Go up like a man
and ask fer a handout, and I'll wait
In the road fer you. You got to play
fair, old a
Larry, If she speaks harsh it'll kill
me-" pleaded Bill.
"She won't speak harsh" said Lar
~. "That sort of woman can't make
eyes at a goose. Git along, old pal,
and good luck to you"
Bill hesitated, but his friend was
insistent, and, as he was becoming
conscious. Of a gnawing sensation In
the e~pigastric region, he nerved him.
self at last to approach the farm
house.
1t was quite true that there was no
dog, and when his difidenf tan was
followed by the opening of the door
he took courage as he looked at the
s~weet-faced, motherly woman who
stood In the entrance.
She had blue eyes and fair hair and
0lmpled cheeks, and looked q little like
his wife, too, 30 that for a moment he
0sat a strange longing for the home
~ had left.
BEG pardon, ma'm, but could you
give a bite Of bread and meat to two
honest working-men what's working
their way West7' no asked.
you of them7" demanded the
lady at the door. H.
yes, MAN," said Bill expectantly.
The little lady drew in q long
breath. Then I'll tell you what I'll do
to you" she said. I'VE don't feed
hobos here, and II you don't beat II
quicker than q spot Of creased light
ming TIL take the fryingpan to you,
Jon Idle, worthless. lazy, loaing
hound. Oh, / know your kind, pre-
tending to be on the way to find work
when you've never done a days honest
work III your life and wouldn't know
Il Il you saw II, you mean, miserable
skunk. not to speak off,
But Bill was already flying 10 tha
road. and tho little lady. with ! pleased
~Gxpression, closed the door.
sWhasermarrer, BillT' cried Larry,
ea1thing at his friends arm. ~Hsy
Gtspi Whsrs d'you think you're goingi
8A0 MINI coming SITTER you. That VS.
t0ush luck. butt
sLemnae cor snoutsd Bin.
Col Whsrs dyou think youirS
oplngf~
.Homsfv yelIed Bill. .Hons % We
laMk4JLssalne Est thsEs aulekJ