davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1922-09-22

A MONG matters that may
~ be classified as interest
ing, If not important, may be
placed the recent report Of a
novel use Of radio at the Cook
County Fair, Chicago.
1t appears that a PAGER, ap.
propriately named Radio"
has been trained to circle the
track at top speed. riderless and
driverless, but accoutred with a
radio receiving, outfit in place of
ordinary harness.
The owner and trainer Of
the PAGER sits in the grand
stand and sends his commands
by radio. A photograph shows
the horse apparently respond
ing, with ears turned back to
catch the message, as IL the
words come from a rider or
driver in the usual position, in
stead Of a half mile or SO away.
THIS particular use Of radio
L is, Of course, only for show
purposes, although there would
appear to be no reason why sew
eral horses equipped with re-
The Washington times., 1922-09-22

DERHAPS some farmer at a
L fair where Radio" gives
his exhibition may be stimu.
lated to equip his farm horses
in similar fashion, so that
from the coign Of vantage Of,
let US say, a windmill, a sin
gle workman may direct sew.
eral teams OF animals dragging
ploughs or moving machines
or what not. The suggestion
sounds chimerical-but what
radio phenomenon is not Chi
merical?
The Washington times., 1922-09-22
Salvation Army

To the Editor:
TT is with very great regret
that 1 have read of the order
OF General Booth withdrawing
Commander Evangeline Booth
from her post at the head Of
the Salvation Army work in this
country.
Those who are familiar with
the extent and value of that
work appreciate its Importance
to our people. and also know
with what devotion, genius and
inspiration Commander Booth
has aided in that great achieve.
ment.
She has the respect, the ad-
miration and the affection of the
American people. Her with.
drawal would be an irreparable
misfortune not only to the Sal.
walton Army but also to the
country at large.
II is greatly to be hoped that
General Booth will reconsider
his decision.-GEo. GORDON
BATTLE.
The Washington times., 1922-09-22
L. HI. AND 0.
BY BUGS" BAER
cOpyriEht. 1927. by Star Company

A MOTHER elimination tourna-
"A ment has just been estab-
lished to chisel word obey from
marriage indictments.
THAT'S very official. Word
= died long ago. They might
just as we'll bury it.
OBEY is old folk legend
" handed down from mother
to daughter so often that some
body fumbled It.,
IT is not used any more be.
cause no brides are super
stitious.
GETTING married nowadays is
~ something like this
Q. Do YOU
A. WHAT?
Q. Take
A. ANYTHING.
Q. This
A. THAT?
q. Man for your present hus.
band? II SO. signify by rails.
ing two dollars fee in right
hand.
Q. And do you take this
woman
A. DON'T TAKE, I'M BEING
TOOK.
Q. Do you take?
A. / TAKE.
Q. Then put. Two dollars.
@. And do you love.
A. MYSELF.
Q. Honor and o
A. BOSH!
A. Then I pronounce you man
and wife with accent on the
wife. Next case.
7 Owe, honor and oh! bosh.
But then what else can you
expect in land where dog II
censes are one dollar and mar
riage licenses two?
WHICH makes ceremony worth
w about two dogs.
The Washington times., 1922-09-22
THE SPECTATOR
The Metric System and World Unity
Mo political world unity. ab-

Mo political world unity, alb
solutely necessary as it
may be to prevent war and to
insure the orderly progress of
civilization. is possible without
unity Of thought.
In every department Of hu.
man activity 1t is the thought
that precedes the act. "In the
beginning was The Word"
One Of the longest steps to.
ward unity of thinking would
be the universal ado option of
the metric system. There is
not and never has been a grain
OF sense in the absurd systems
of weights and measures now
in use in America and Great
Britain. The fact that they
still survive is merely an evil
The Washington times., 1922-09-22

dence of the stupid conserva-
tism of mankind.
A LREADY more than two
"A hundred countries have
more or less completely adopt.
ed the metric units Of weights
and measures.
Aubrey Drury has prepared
an authoritative and compre-
hensive book, World Metric
Standardization" which deals
with the whole subject. He
says:
I'm 1921 more human beings
went over to the mertic units
for future transactions than
now use the diverse British
units in all the world. Japan
and Russia in that year con.
firmed their adoption Of the
decimal metric system"
The Washington times., 1922-09-22
Horse Racing by Radio
BY Henry Smith Williams

ceiving outfits might not be
made to compete. jockeyless.
thus affording highly interest
ing contest. And It In always
possible that new and even i'm
portant practical applications
may be found for methods that
at the outset are thought OF as
only amusing.
In any event, the exhibition
furnishes a tangible illustra.
ton of the wonders Of radio
that the audience must find in
teresting and thought-provoca-
tive.
The Washington times., 1922-09-22
Greatest of the Great

YYYHO are the twelve greatest
w men in Americaf If the
w average citizen were to ex-
press his honest opinion, his list
would run something like this:
His boss.
His doctor.
His lawyer.
His favorite author.
His favorite politician.
Jack Dempsey.
His landlord.
His tailor.
His bootlegger.
His favorite actor.
His favorite screen star.
Babe Ruth.
Because these are the people who
fill his life and he knows all about
them and possesses the ability to
judge their accomplishments.
Have you ever stopped to think
what stupid question it isl
What constitutes greatness in a
MANI His accomplishments Then
we must know exactly what they
are. The acclamation Of the multi
tudef
Then you must give the day of
the month or the year.
DR.. Albert Michaelson of Chicago
received the Nobel prize for his
contribution to the science of ply
sizes. For all we know, his discov-
cry, thousand years from now,
may enable us all to see what is
going on in Siberia and Norway or
may equip us to walk on air. Of
course, in that event he will be con-
sidered one Of the greatest Amer
icans-1, 900 years from now. But
what was it that he really dis
covered7
Admiral Dewey was acclaimed
the greatest American when he re-
turned victorious from Manila. The
nation gave him a house and yelled
itself hoarse. He decided to get
married and gave the house to his
bride. The nation cried "Bla-ah! !"
and stopped shouting.
AS our Government stands today,
George Washington, Thomas JEFF
ferson and Alexander Hamilton
were the greatest men who estab-
lished it. If we should ever try
limited monarchy or an oligarchy
and it should turn out to be a great
Improvement on what we have had,
these men will no longer be con-
sidered so great.
Archimedes discovered the prin-
ciple Of the lever, Isaac Newton
discovered the law of gravitation
and James Watt discovered how to
condense steam. All these discov-
cries were necessary to enable
Rockefeller to drill for oil and sell
cheap kerosene. Which was the
greatest man?
Don't bother your head to make
comparisons. AS Mrs. Malaprop
said, they are odorous."
Whenever you see a list of the
greatest names, get busy and find
out what each of these men accom-
plished. Go to library, look up
books of reference and of BIZ
ography and science. Get EXACT
information. And you will i'm
prove your mind and have a hun
dred times more satisfaction than.
-. 49,, a. l.. \ 4
The Washington times., 1922-09-22
The Paper Says:

THAT Herrin's Jail is too small
to hold all the miners indicted
i in connection with the massacre
that put Herrin on the map. per
haps Chicago could make room for
some of them in the hotels in
which the unindicted operators
live.)
That the allies are agreed Turkey
shall not have the Dardanelles.
ct is impressive to note that the
good old instinct of self-preserva-
tion can finally be depended upon
to bring the European Powers to-
gether, at least on the basis of a
common hatred.
That the Arabs have gone on
strike in Palestine to express their
protest against Britain's mandate
for the Holy Land. (Not that these
Mussulmans hate England less, but
the Jews more. And so Zionism
seems fated to continue a dream,
interrupted periodically by the
waking reality of persecution and
bloodshed.)
That a host Of 700 attended a
celebrant dinner to Edison, COM
memorating the fortieth anniversary
of the commercialization of the in
candescent bulb. (The great
American wizard is to be congratu.
lated and thanked for this modern
Aladdin's lamp that has brought
"more light" throughout the world.
May his eye be undimmed and his
power be undiminished as he works
on from wonder to wonderD
The Washington times., 1922-09-22
SAP and SALT
.By Bert Moses

copyright. 1922. by Premier Syndicate. Ino)
When a chance is gone, It's gone forever.
Common sense has mighty little emotion
mixed with 1t.
In business there is absolutely no substitute
for satisfaction.
Shooting craps is a poor way for a boy to
lcarn mathematics.
Hez Heck says. What In eccentric in a
genius is just plain damfooishness in you
and me-"
The Washington times., 1922-09-22

DEPRIVED Of its four per
~ cent beer, South st. Louis,
former center OF the brewing
industry of the United States,
has now taken to water.
Water Commissioner Wall told
the Board Of Public Service
that since Prohibition the con-
The Washington times., 1922-09-22

1t is for that same reason that
so many human beings who ere
strange in town or are
lonesome pass wretched hours.
Hands are aching to be stretched
out, but there is the invisible
barrier that keeps lonesome
souls apart.
CAN II be overcome? Can
an agency be devised in
every town to bring lonely
people in touch with one an
other? Can the apotheosis OF
sympathy and hospitality be
attained?
1t can. Only, I fear. 1t re-
quires a higher civilization than
ours to accomplish 1t.
Imagine, now, a central official
in every community to whom
you can go and say:
I'm lonesome. My hobby
is collecting stamps-or telling
funny stories or discussing poll
tics or the latest novels or the
stage. Got anybody on your list
who would care TO spend a few
hours with me2"
A ND the official would turn
to his list, call Mr.. Hoozis
on the telephone and let you
talk with him. II Mr.. Hoozis
was not in the right mood be-
cause he had had a quarrel
with his wife, you would be
connected with Mr.. Goofem.
At any. rate, you would finally
get in touch with a congenial
soul who would utter the magic
words:
Come around"
OF course. If you were Il bur-
glar in a strange town and
wanted to get in touch with a
local cracksmsn, of II you
were the prize pest of your
own home town and wanted to
meet another pest, the situation
might become complicated. But,
some way or another, It could
all be arranged.
Isn't II worth thinking about?
Copyright, 1929, by King Features
Syndicate, Inc.
The Washington times., 1922-09-22
st. Louis Drinks Water

sumption OF water in South st.
Louis has increased enor-
mously. At his recommends
ton the Board approved the
expenditure Of $4,000 for q
new pump in the district capa.
BILE OF supplying an additional
2o.oooyooo gallons Of water
daily. ..l..'.
The Washington times., 1922-09-22

The Bureau Of Biological Sur.
vey says that hornets make
their nests from bits of wood
fiber which they obtain from
old fences and tree barixs, chew.
ing them up into q paper-like
atibatance.
The Washington times., 1922-09-22
We TOWNE GOSSIP
- Copyright. 1022. By Star Company.
BY X. C. B.

'UNo OUR place. AND HE wouldn't
. play.
is. AND WHATEVER IT
. was.
THEY play at VILE. con.o,,crop
mes. -,
, oUARRELa HAVE no idea.
tie BUT ANYWAY.
LAUGH a lot. FOR Aeour ten
. minutes.
. 'eE 0'neF 0"'' THEY STOOD and
II ROLLER quarreled.
atss. AND HELD the train.
" MADE a train. WHILE THE
. passenger kids.
A couple of cars. me-. ,::,,s.o o,oun,
..sT, BY common AND AaooEo some.
'se TWO of the AND No HoIl@Af0
US.
.,,s - .r.,n BUT TO no avail.
UNTIL ONE kid.
ONG OI luo ChEbs
MADE of a box. ROSE UP and said
!, CARRIED "F YOU amt soin'
eight.
49, ,;,o, o.r you'll HAVE to
:. quit playin'."
p ~ AND THE passenger
WHICH two kids k,d.
jLo CROWD r.EsE WERE e,rh.
emselves. n, them
!, FOR an hour. pRaeeep THE
n RAN the train. quarrellns two.
J, THe kids took RIGHT OFF the train.
rms. AND ss,ZEp thu
the passenger train.
r AND RAN It
} ALL played fair. themselves.
!, 1IrN they WHEREIN THEsR
larreled. kids,
TIE engineer. SHOWED MUCH
Mt LIKE tho more sense.
ay. THAN THEIR
,, coNplIcroa fathers show.
ted. IN A Similar mess.
The Washington times., 1922-09-22
Stars and Stripes
THE RETURNING REs0RTER.

THE RETURNING RESORTER.
Lady, with your coat Of tan,
Coming home to your old man.
Take his story as the truth,
Then, he will take yours, forsooth.
Some Of these picture brides" coming
from Europe are not called for. Maybe
the prospective grooms don't like the
proofs.
The Washington times., 1922-09-22
DOMESTIC NOTE.


The average apartment dweller knows
there's no place like home-no, no place
anything like It.
The trouble with the modern caveman
is that he caves whenever his wife yells
at him.
Peggy Hopkins Joyce says she is now
q business woman. She always was.
The Washington times., 1922-09-22

WELL, why didn't I?
w 1t was because didn't
know and couldn't know. And
The Washington times., 1922-09-22
Something to Think About
By Bruno Lessing-
ON BEING LONESOME.

ONE of the most dismal
is this:
I spent a night In Cleveland.
My business had been finished
In the afternoon and I had to
walt until the next morning to
catch a train. The problem
was: how to spend the evening.
1t was raining. did not
know a soul in town. / was
not in the mood for a theaser
or a picture show. And my eyes
were tired from reading on
trains.
What I yearned for was an
evening of intelligent compan.
ionship, a congenial soul who
would either talk or listen.
was even on the point of tele-
phoning to the chief of police
or the pastor Of the Baptist
church and ask him to help me
out. But I was afraid they
might misunderstood.
So I bought a pack of cards
and played solitaire until 1t was
time to 60 to bed. Incidentally,
1 lost most Of the games.
THE other day this dreary
= spot Of memory was "actI-
vated"-as the old scientists
used to say-by my being intro
duced to a charming man who
lives in Cleveland. ! asked him
what kind of a place IT was.
"I really know very little
about the town life." he replied.
"As soon as I am through with
my work l go home and spend
the evening in my library. OF
course, I often get lonesome and
wish 1 had someone whom 1
could talk to or who would talk
to me. But. as I don't know
many people outside Of my busi-
ness, have to put up with It."
1 told him of my experience
and he grasped me by the arm.
For heavens sake, man." he
exclaimed, why didn't yos call
me up?"
The Washington times., 1922-09-22

dence of the stupid conserva
tism of mankind.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1922-12-28

For dry box wood phone Emry Lum.
Der & Fnel Co. Just right for kindline
and quick fires. o12tf
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1922-12-28
STATEMENT FALSE,
SAYS McCULLAGH

| Portland, Ore, Dec. 22-Editor
Glacier: Please be kind enough 10
publish the following statement from
me in your next issue as a reply to the
| article appearing in your issue Of
December Il, under the caption
"Woodruff-McCullagh Fund Is Dis
| tributed.p
The statement appearing in your is
sue OF December 21, is absolutely and
undeniably false in every particular.
Mr.. Woodruff can speak for himself,
but l wish to deny that the Assoeia-
tion or any of its connections has ever
collected or tried to collect one cent
from me at any time. / have never
been asked to refund anything. have
never refunded anything and never
Will refund anything for the simple
reason that have never owed them
one cent.
The statement appearing I'm your
papers and covered by the letters re-
ported TO have been sent to Associa-
ton members is a positive and DELHI
crate falsehood, and while as a sub
terfuge the letters are reported as
signed by Mr.. w. j. Knight as trus-
tee, it is simply another example of
the vindictiyeness of Mr.. Stone and
his personal hatred and enmity to-
ward Mr.. Woodruff and myself.
MIR. Stone seems possessed to be-
smirch the reputation of two men who
gave the Apple Growers Association
four of the best years in their lives
and who brought back to their EN-
ployers, the members of the Associa-
tion, the best results ever obtained in
the history of that organization. At
not too distant date Mr.. Stone may
have an opportunity to prove some of
his statements.
Yours very truly,
G. w. McCullagh.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1922-12-28

Before you buy an automobile you
sheuld see the new Studebaker at the
Cameron Motor Co. matt
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1922-12-28
Notice Of Hearing and Settlement OI
Final Account OF Administrator

Notice is hereby given that the un-
dersigned, Administrator of the estate
Of K. l.. Smith. Deceased, has fled bis
final account with the Clerk Of the
County Court Of Hood River County.
State Of Oregon, and that said Court
has fixed the Both day OF December,
1922. at the hour If 10 o'clock a. m.
as the time and the Court Room Of the
County Court House in said County in
the City of Hood River, Oregon. as the
place for hearing q objections Of said
final account and report, If any there
be. and any and all persons having OBJ
jections thereto are notified to present
the same on or before said date and at
said place. J. T. Watt,
Administrator,
Hood River, Oregon.
f. II. Hsrtwig.
Attorney for Estate,
Smith Building,
n3O52S Hood River, Oregon.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1922-12-28
Notice Of Final Account

Notice is hereby given that the un.
dersigned, as Executor of the Will OF
Lucy Boorman, deceased. has filed bis
Final Account in said Estate in the
County Court of Hood River County,
Oregon, and that said Court has, by or
der duly made and entered. appointed
Saturday, December 30. 1922, at 10
O'Clock a. m. as the time, and the
court room Of said court as the place,
for the Hearing upon said Final Ac-
count. and of objections thereto. and
the settlement thereof. OF which all
persons interested will take due notice.
Dated and first published November
80, 1922.
A. W. Boorman, Executor.
George r. Wilbur,
n3Od28 Attorney.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1922-12-28
Taking Desperate Chances

1t is true that many contract severe
colds and recover from them without
taking any precaution or treatment.
and a knowledge of this fact leads
others to take their chances instead of
giving their colds the needed attention.
Ii should be borne in mind that every
cold weakens the lungs, lowers the
vitality. makes the system less able to
withstand each succeeding attack and
paves the way for the more serious
diseases. Can you afford to take such
desperate chances when Chamberlain 8
Cough Remedy, famous for its cures
of bad colds may be had for a trifie?
Come in and see the new Buick 1923
models. Skies, $l425; fours, $lO75.
Hood River Garage.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1922-12-28
Mrs. Laura NJ. HOyt Recommends
Chamberlain's Tablets

81 have frequently used Chamber
lain's Tablets. during the past three
years, and have found them splendid
for headache and bilious attacks. |
am only too pleased, at any time, to
speak a word in praise of them, I"
writes Mrs. Laura M. Hoyt, Rockport,
N. Y.
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1922-08-18
Song and Sentiment Rule the World,
 Woman Declares

Baroness Adele von Groyss of Brooklyn, N. Y. who has medal of honor from the United States Gov ernnaent For services in furtherlng the welfare and progress of the Phil ippine Islands, believes jazz, rag time and other inferior music party responsible for the crime wave of re- cent years. In an interview, Baroness won Groyss said that sentiment and song ruled the world and that she had proved it in her work among the savage Igorrotes of the Philippines. She accomplished her mission solely through the influence of good music. she added.
 What you put in the mind comes out through the heart,"N the baroness said. Every reform comes through te heart. Writers, musicians and all who would uplift should aim to reach the heart first rather than the head. Education comes afterward. It is the result of the first.
 CT have travelled all over the world. and people in America live at a pace 100 years ahead of that found in any other place. Therefore you need more than anything else in the world 6 soothing and restful form of mu- sic"
 Baroness von Groyss recently re- turned from Paris, where she ob- tained the use of Jean de Reszkes theatre for purpose of giving Amer lean girl music students an ovpor- tunity to sing before society women and rctrenassas of nausil and arS4
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1922-08-18

uonal thought already begin to ex- pect 1t to live a Hong life, in which many things VII be accomplished.
 Seek jSaghalien Settlement
 ClOsfy linked with the Siberian question has been that of Saghalien. At the time of the Niko1aievsk mas sacre Japan sent brigade to the province and to the northern or Rus sian half of Saghalien Island to hold that territory until indemnities for the loss of the 700 Japanese lives should be paid. Troops the province prop CT, where Nikolaievsk is located. are to be withdrawn by the end of Sep tember, but the island is still held pending settlement with a competent Russian government.
 It is rumored that Japan is at tempting, through informal channels. to settle the Nikolaievsk incident with the Soviet, asking a clear title to the island as reparation for the massacre. Under the present circumstances such settlement would be profitable to Russia, too, for something of that sort will be the only way in which she will be accepted in good faith in Tokio.
 Will Make Kato Solid.
 Should, this be accomplished it will make the Kato Cabinet solid with business interests in Japan, which would increase it's popularity to a point where political opposition would mean little. The Cabinet now is in a @eculiar- situation, as, although it has the avowed backing of the Seiyukai,
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1922-08-18
Chinese Sugar 2: Growers Using
 Foreign Sugar

Failing to keep pace with modern developments. China's sugar industry. like the tea industry. has declined to the point where the country depends upon foreign sugar for it's supply. Fifty years ago China was an ex:' porter of sugar. says Consul General Edwin s. Cunningham, Shanghai, in a report to the Foodstuffs Division of the Department of Commerce., but modern methods have won China's old markets. In China the juice is still pressed from the cane between gram ite or hardwood rollers through whicf
 the cane is drawn by cog wheels turnd by bullocks.. A stone basin be-s meath receives the juice which isss boiled without any attempt at clarifi-s cation in open iron pans. The boiled juice is then poured into earthenware jars which are left open to the air 3ot or 40 days. according to the weather. until the contents are thoroughly dry The sugar obtained Is sorted into three grades-the first, or uppermost, in the jar being white; the middle green; and the lowermost. brown. Ins some parts of the country, however the natives are beginning to realize the importance of proper methods and attempts are being made to install modern machinery. -a5.zS
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1922-08-18
CONTROL OF FIVE MIL LION D0L LAR
 ESTATE SOUGHT IN TRUST FUND SUIT

rick's Catholic Church, has long been a friend and adviser of the family. He was a close intimate of Reed and is said to have been responsible for the latter's conversion to the Catholic faith on his deathbed.
 Reed Aided Church.
 Reed was a generous benefactor of the Church during his lifetime despite the fact that he was not a Catholic.
 Margery Werner Reed (Mrs. Mayo) studied abroad and became interested in Catholicism during, a long stay in Rome. She afterward took instruc- tions in the faith from Father O'Dwyer and became Catholic.
 One of her brothers, Joseph Yer ner Reed, is also a convert to the Church.
 Mrs. Reed is non-Catholic.
 A considerab1e stir was created in ecclesiastical circles when, last Win ter, a precedent was established by Bishop Tihen, of the Colorado diocese, by granting permission for the mar riage in the Immaculate Conception Cathedral here of Werner 2. Reed, Jr., a non-Catholic, and Miss Gladys Quen- tell, a New York society girl.