Evening star., 1922-02-19

but I find can't qualify as one Of
the leisure class. No, not because
the funds in the Rolled Top National
are running low. but for the simple
reason that I haven't q sit-around
disposition"
Huh" says Inez. a bit scornful.
.'I know" says I. "That seems
foolish to you. But I've tried 1t for
ten days and Tn as restless as fly
in bottle. Loaing Is all right II
you can get used to it. but with me
the first hundred years are the hard
est"
"Heyr asks Inex.
"As they say about prohibition"
: explains. "the first hundred years are
the wettest"
Foolish talk" says Inez. "what
you mean?"
Nothing subtle" says I. "Only to-
morrow morning I mean to follow
your brilliant example. I'm going to
put on all my war paint and go on
q job hunt"
OF course, I was bound to tackle
the theatrical agencies and man.
ayers first. I knew about what to
expect there. but after I'd had q
peek into anterooms quit dis
couraged. Next to a midnight bread
line I don't know of anything more
pathetic than a bunch of liberty peo-
pie. all trying to look as if they'd
been sent for to sign big money con-
tracts, and each one watching the
private Office door like trained seals
at feeding time. And how they do
glare at any new conner who happens
to drift in! Say, I'm glad I was only
an actress by accident and wasn't
born to the profession. Even II Barry
Platt does think I'm silly. He insists
that I ought to wait around. as the
rest of 'em do, until some one who's
mer snap offers to let me rehearse for
six weeks and then maybe draw a
salary for two.
Nothing like that for Trilby May
Dodge" 1 tell him. There are a
lot of things I can do besides go
trouping for next to nothing a week.
and 1 don't need a curtain call every
so often to keep up my self respect.
Being handed a pay envelope and
knowing that I've earned 1t Is all the
applause my humble ego demands,
and that's what I'm going after.
So here I was. the next morning,
going through the want ad pages
In three daily papers, with lnez look
ing over my shoulder.
Lets see," says L; I'm neither a
buttonhole operator, a cashier, choco-
late dipper, nor a comptometer expert
/ don't believe I'm crochet beader'
either, and they seem to be in big de-
mand. Three whole columns of 'em
wanted. Just my luck. Ell? And
don't care to be a filter in either
high-class or low-class shop or mn
isher. or forelady. Manicurist? NO.
Marcel waver? Never. Millinery de-
signer-Say, believe could build hats
that it wouldn't be crime to wear
but they don't seem to want that kind
at least, very few of 'em are offered
for sale"
'There's models" suggests 1nez.
$50 I should say" says 1. Hun
dreds of models wanted. But listen;
must be young and attractive. only
stunning girls need apply. light blonds
for high-class show rooms and so on.
No, Inez, I can see Morrie and Jackie
looking me over across their cigars and
shaking their heads. / wouldn't pass
the acid test of pulchritude. Not me.
hat fhpv all ha Siz 16
I'm not sure of that point, either. I
may be a perfect 151s or scant II
and that would let me OUT
Me. I'm &c." says 1nez, "and I got
swell job
ct KNOW" says I. also you have
sea-gray eyes and hair like a field
Of ripe wheat and Goddess of Liberty
neck, while my color scheme Is rusty
brown and my figure has all the grace
of a mop handle. So 1 fear, Inez, that
I shall have to pass up employment
calling for decorative effects and see If
I can't horn IN somewhere on the
strength of my fatal gift for fluent
conversation. That's a talent which
doesn't seem to be classified Ha! Mis-
cellaneous. That's me. if anything is.
Now here-'Refned business woman
with strong personality How about
1t, Inez; am l all thato"
Il dunno" says She whats 1t to
do?"
We'll, the rest is a bit vague"
says I, reading on. "But the ad
says here is rare opportunity to
make permanent connection with
largo international organization
Sounds impressive, but TIL bet there's
some trick in it. Probably it would
sift down to a chance to solicit
magazine subscriptions or sell toilet
soap. Here's one a trifie more definite;
Ambitious, educated young woman
with pleasing personality for travel
information bureau in southern hotel
Yes. think I could do that. But how
deadly to spend eight or ten hours
q day telling tourists how they can
get from Pinehurst to Hot Springs. or
from Miami to Tampa; and in between
to listen while the room clerk ad-
mitted what wonder he was, or
hear the housekeepers tale of woe
about how many towels the guests
lug away with them. No, I'm not
going to leave New York to imper-
Ssonate Mr.. Foster or anybody else.
Not this week.
"You got funny ideas, you," says
Inez.
IF they only were IDEAS" says I.