The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1922-01-19

concerts. There's nothing but vanity
and vexatiOn Of spirit about an enter
tainment Of that kind. It's advertised
to start at a certain hour, say eight
o'clock. and you are credulous enough
to think that the specifications will be
lived up to. You break a hame strap
to get there in time, and when you ar
rive, at ten minutes to eight, you find
you're the first one there. You sit
around, waiting for an hOur or two, and
people walk On your feet and sit down
on your hat and make things unpleas-
ant as possible.
"By the time the curtain goes up,
you are wishing you had possessed
sense enough to stay at home. But, be-
ing there, and having paid for the priv
ilege, you determine to hold her nozzle
agin the bank, as it were.
"The entertainment usually Is
opened by a talksmith. The man who
makes a few remarks always looms up
at such entertainments, and should be
taken to Jail for obtaining money I'M
der false pretenses. When he has
said all that he can think of, the art
lists begin to dish up the music. 1t
may be elegant music-it usually is.
But you can't enjoy it in comfort, for
the gentleman with the large splay
foot, in the seat directly behind you,
persists in beating time with that organ
until he drives you frantic. If you urn
around and dot him in the eye, you
will be elected from the building.
'"Then you will find that the woma
with a shrill, carrying voice, who has
heard better singers, sits right in front
of you. and she keeps on talking in a
maddening way. The last concert I
attended had a fine cOntraltO who sang
some stem-winding songs of the kind
we all like. But the woman with the
shrill voice was right in front Of me,
and I could hear her saying: Really.
you should hear Margaret Reyes OF
Christine Miller sing that selection;
this woman is impossible as a vocal
ist.'
"Then q man with q hectic voice
and a name that he imported without
paying duty on it, stood up and whin-
MED like a doggOne zebra, and we were
expected to believe that he was sing
ing a Neapolitan song. / never heard
anything that filed my nerves the way
that voice did. 1t recalled the halcyon
days when my father used to sharpen
q bucksaw with a rasp. Well, When
he finished his first number, the ap-
plause was frantic, and he reared up
and did it all over again. Then the
applause was louder than ever, and ne
whinnied something else. They kept
that blamed pirate there for half an
hour, and I don't know when l sur
fered so much.
"The hall was o~verheated, and l wa
TANNED in the middle Of a row OF seats
so I couldn't get out without climbing
over a number of ladies and gentlemen.
We were kept there for three hours,
and when l got out l swore by my
Sunday hat I'd never go to another
public concert.
"Next day I bought a p~honograph
and a lot of records Of the kind l like,
and now I enjoy my music. l start 1t
when l get ready, and quit when l I'M
tired. No punk singers are encored.
No Windy Jims introduce the singers
with a few pertinent remarks. Ii a
singer d~ispleases me, ! stop the ma
chine and throw the record into the
alley. You'd better tear up your con-
cert ticket and come and hear my mu-
sic MILL"