The Washington herald., 1922-08-17
1t Seems to Me
By Haywood Broun.

The time was when newspaper
men made 1t as hard as possible for
the baseball fans who read their
games instead Of seeing them to
be in on the proceedings. The re-
porters knew no language but their
own and were proud of 1t. Every
time they invented some new in
volved way Of saying that a player
singled they called II a good day.
Not one of them. ten or fifteen years
ago, would disgrace himself by call
ing a ball a ball. 1t was the pill.
the pellet, the horsehide, the OLD
apple. We remember when even
the spheroid was considered just
hack writing.
Once in a while. of course. a piece
of baseball lingo rose up and in
vented itself so that IL could not
be denied nor ever again be thrust
out of common speech. There was.
for instance. Matty's "fade-away."
Nobody could fail to be drawn to
1t and tickled by 1t. Neither could
anybody fail to know what IL
meant. And yet 1t is a tragic word.
There it lies firmly in the language.
Men may speak of it. but now that
Mattey has retired nobody can
throw II. OF course out in st.
Louis they pretend that Pruett can.
but no neutral is going to believe'
any such thing about a lefthander.
Yet most Of the baseball slang
failed and is forgotten. The code
story has largely disappeared. It
is no longer necessary TO be among
the elect to understand anything
but the box score.
Things are getting better. The
back lots in our town have begun
to dwindle and 30 per cent. of the
young must take their baseball
through the papers. The writing
men have calmed down into Eng
lish. 1t Is nothing any more to
read that game was made up of
hits and runs and errors, and that
1t was played with a ball.
This change has helped a good
deal toward making the national
game a little more national. The
box score and the simple declara-
tive sentence have carried baseball
right into the home. Today even
woman can understand it.
<hiNhOuSH even IN dT-
dent one, we are conscious of GER
tain differences in the minds of men
and women. There are things con-
cerning which there Is no parity
Women ought to be allowed to vote
and hold office and serve on juries
and keep their own names. All
these things they do admirably, but
We have yet to meet a woman who
could keep a good box score. There
is in them all. even those who attend
regularly. some constitutional in
ability to tell the difference between
hit and an error. Perhaps there is
some little sophistry in this. Most
onicial scorers can't tell, either.
A lawyer in one of our local
courts was much embarrassed the
other day when asked how his client
put In his time. The case was an
action to have the young mans in
come increased. Very apolog ct =
ically. the lawyer said that his client
was a gentleman of leisure. How
ever. he FASTENED to add It was not
the fault of the young man. He had
never been trained for anything
else.
The really pertinent question of
whether or not the young man had
| been trained for leisure was en-
tirely overlooked. The great dim
Guilty with doing nothing Is that
few can achieve IL. We have lean
ings In that direction but no talent.
Mere laziness Is not enough. II I,
were we should be in no position to
complain.
The truly gifted loafer must have
initiative. His task, il adequately
performed. Is likely to keep him
constantly on the move. Places
which are good for summer loafing
are no use at all In winter. OF
course We haven't had a whole lot
OF leisure with which to experimen,
but we have invariably made a mess
OF 1t. We haven't sufficient strength
OF will to get any comfort out of
our laziness. People browbeat us
into doing jobs which We don't want
10 do and into going to places for
which we have no zest.
| Under our civilization nobody can
possibly manage to loaf unless he
possesses character. But IL he pos
sesses character he won't loaf. The
circles. 1'
| An editorial writer, In Comment
ing upon the death of Bell. men
TONED as one of the benefits which
the telephone had conferred upon
humanity the fact that it had in :
creased the pace of modern life.
Eagerly admitting that, we contend
that the telephone has brought as
little OF real comfort and happiness
into our life as any invention of
the age.
The drug which was discovered
by Jekyn was no more potent in
the creation of double personality.
Many a man who is entirely esti-
mable in private life becomes q
changed person when speaking
upon the telephone. There Is hard
ly q man alive who has the slight
est compunction about lying over
the wire.
Indeed this very fact has made
i Al I'LL