Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1922-01-12
Cousin Percy's Little Joke.
CHAPTER ..

Cousin Percy's Little Joke.
] suppose every one has had the ex-
perience Of waking In the middle Of
the night to find everything perfectly
still and quiet and normal. and yet
with the impression persisting that
there had been tremendous crash Of
some sort just before the waking
senses were alive enough to realize 1t.
1t was some such razing jolt as this
that was given me on the morning
when l was called in. with the other
members of the family, to listen to the
reading Of my grandfather's will.
But, first, however, to give some
idea Of the conditions precedent, as
lawyer would say. My father-good.
easy-going, comfort-loving Dad!-
never owned what Grandfather Dud-
ley. pursuing his thin lips and swapping
the words out. called "the money
sense" AS an architect high In his
profession and with fine artistic feel
ing for the beautiful in buildings. he
earned liberal income-and spent It:
or so much of it that there was barely
enough left after his death to provide
for my mother and sister. and to keep
me going, as you might say. in an ex-
ceedingly modest manner. Without
work. mean. I may us well confess.
at once. thatI had never acquired the
work habit. I was always "going to-"
but 1t was so fatally easy to keep on
postponlng the chilling plunge. sup
pose I had been ready on at least half
a dozen occasions to take q dive into
some pool with salary attachment;
but always some good friend would
hob up to say. "Oh, come on. Stannie.
old man; we're lacking Just one more
to make up the bunch. Don't be a
clam. Time enough to settle down
when You have to-" and then It would
he all of.
. Besides, you see, there was always
Grandfather Jasper in the background.
He had money-lashings of 1t, so we
all believed; and 1t had been family
understanding for years that he In
tended splitting the bulk Of 1t, fifty.
fifty, between my cousin Percy and
me. Before we 60 any farther, let me
set It down that Cousin Percy was
and is-all the seventeen different
kinds Of things that am not, and
never wished to be; smooth. neat, we'll
groomed. grind" in college and a
perfect dear" with the girls. am.
bilious as the very devil, and measur-
ing his friends by the amount of pull"
they might be able to exert in his he.
half; there you have him from the
crown of his well-brushed little head
to his patent-leather pumps.
You're fright, Stannie," he would
say, In his carefully polished dipio-
matte manner-he had billet In the
Department Of State at Washington,
and was in training for the legation
service abroad-"you are a perfect
fright. Three whole years out Of col
lege, and you haven't done single.
solitary useful thing yet. When are
you going to begin? And, incidental
~, how long are you going to keep
Iisette waiting?"
Oh, Lord right there was another
knot in the tangle-Lisette. We had
agreed to agree-Lisette and I-some
six months or SO In advance Of Grand
father Jasper's death. and we were
both perfectly well assured. and had
assured each other Il dozen times, that
my income from Dads estate wasn't
more than half big enough to marry
on. You see. 1t was this way: Llsette
was one of family Of four girls in
mighty expensive household. and there
wasn't anything to lean on on that
side Of the fence. Though, Of course.
we never discussed 1t brutality in 80
many words, we were waiting for that
fifty-fifty look-in at the will which fam
lily tradition declared had already been
drawn up. signed. sealed. witnessed
and put away in cold storage: other.
wise In the safe-keeping of GRANDPA
ther Jasper's family lawyer.
All Of which may serve to bring US
back to that nightmare effect regis
tered at the start. When the Dudley
will was taken out Of the icebox and
read to the assembled members Of the
family, there were at least two shock.
ing surprises. Jasper hadn't been any.
where near as rich as we had all been
, thinking he was; that his modest
), manner of living had been, perhaps, az
much a matter of necessity .as Of
y choice. Bad investments of which
the family had never heard so much
as whisper had cut his fortune
down to something less than half q