Paragould soliphone. (Paragould, Ark.) 1918-1950, 1922-05-29
RUNNING TO SEED
Sylvester Urban Discourses On
So-CaIed Human Race.
Can See Nothing But Atrophy as Re-
suit of the Labor-Saving Devices
of Present Day.

''rm only twenty-eight years Old"
said Sylvester Urban, according TO
New York Sun writer, land I'm afraid.
I'm afraid of the future. I'm afraid
Of civilization"
"What's come over you now?" asked
his friend. give heard you utter some
strange sentiment over a glass of
third rail- but this. latest is beyond me.
How can one be afraid of civilization?
zone might well shrink in his shoes
at the thought of return to sayagery
or barbarism. But life becomes safer
with every ensuing year Of civilization.
Just look about you at all these safe
guards"
That's Just It," broke in Sylvester
sadly. you've hit the crux of the
matter right off Just look about you,
as you say, and what do you see? Here
we are in an average New York apart
ment-four rooms and bath. Above us
is an electric chandelier. When YOU
want light just press button. There
is a radiator. If you want heat on
a frigd day just lean over from your
easy chair and turn knob. Or do you
prefer the cheer of an open CRATE fire?
Just turn on the gas.
'Wouldst dine? Just telephone a
deiicatessen and presently the dumb
waiter bell will buzz and your food
arrives i'll the kitchen. A fire in the
range is yours for the striking of a
match and the turning of jet. Hot
water? Twist a faucet. Drinking
water? Twist another faucet.
zone usually has garbage after a
meal. A most trifing matter. Dump
it in the garbage can and send it
down the dumbWaiter. Music after the
dessert? Put on a record. 1t has one
of these repeaters-lateSt thing. you
know. No need to bother with the
machine until it runs down. In the
next room is an electric reproducing
piano. The worlds greatest artists
perform for you and you don't have
to turn finger, so to speak. The
door bell rings. There is the mail
and the newspaper.
Suppose I want to go downtown to
work or shop. / just step into sub
way and sit down. When | leave the
train l don't even have to walk out
of the station. | merely stand on an
escalator. Arrived at the street, | de-
eide perhaps, to take a taxi. l just
get in and sit down. When l reach
my ultimate destination the chauffeur
opens the door of the cab for me and
~ Mortal for
to enter the store.
Leaving the store l take Fifth
avenue bus to my Office. l go on top
to get the fresh air and find they've
even iIclosed the upper deck in glass
to protect children Of civilization from
healthful ozone.
Don't you see that everything is
arranged so that l can live without
moving a finger so to speak? Feel
my muscles. There's nothing to them
/ couldn't lick a healthy ten-year-old
boy and l couldn't run five blocks
without staggering from exhaustion,
My body, the thing l live in, the thing
that keeps me alive, is becoming OBJ
solete and is fallen into disuse through
the safeguards Of CIVILIZATION.
and don't forget that the soft food
puryeyed in these latter days is ener-
waiting to our teeth. An eminent physi-
cal culturist urges US to tug at a
handkerchief with our molarS each day
as substitute for the exercise for
merIy got by chewing strong, coarse
foods. Think of that Men chewing
at rags like babies
as there really to be such a thing
as the superman-the much-heralded
product of higher civilization? Judg
ing from my own life average men
are going to form a race Of pygnies
physical dwarfs, anemics.'
And Mr.. Sylvester Urban with a
feeble hand lifted Il glass to his lips.
lJtiIize Wartime An1hulanccs