The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-04-02
Merciful Mayonnaise," Said Mother.
Keen Guesses

right. He's tho kind that wants
you to lean on his Shoulder and
tell all your Troubles to q True
Friend after he has known you
about Twenty Minutes. and II you
hang back he 10 Hurt and seems
to think that you do him an In
justice. He has got away with 1t
so often that his Nerve Is beyond
belief. As for the Oatmeal Mush
that he articulates. It Is the Kind
calculated to make a Girl ashamed
Of herself unless she starts right
in and loves him with her whole
Soul.
"He is a pretty dangerous Prop
osition. You can say 'ScatT to
Ferdie the Freshman. or else send
him on an Errand. but Mr.. Arthur
Fresh. who is getting along toward
thirty. is 80 accustomed to the
Throw-Down that he arises, dusts
his clothes and comes back with
a Genial Smile and treats tho
whole Incident as a Joke.
Then, IL you Repent and try
to Square yourself. the Chances
are that he will wait until you
begin to act real Friendly and then
he will give you the Toss and hike
off after some new Geraldine.
This kind likes to switch from a
Blonde to a Brunette about every
third Day"
"Merciful Mayonnaiser exclaimed
Mother. 81 don't believe ! am
qualified to sit on the Side-Lines
and do any Coaching for you. You
seem to have a lot of Inside Stuff.
Did they teach you all this at
Boarding School7"
Don't give It away" said Isa-
belle, but I'll tell you on the
Q. T. that we have what 10 known
as the Protective Order of Buds.
Tho Trifler who goes up and down
the Line springing the Cuff about
Love at First Sight Is spotted and
tagged in a Hurry. There are two
ways Of handling this Party. One
is to spring his Record on him
and kid him until he let's up. The
other is to believe everything and
String him along.
THE Second Method IL the one
usually employed by all True
Artists. The older the Bachelor the
bigger the Cinch. Hold on to one
Of his Coat-Buttons and look up At
him and ask him a lot Of feeble
minded questions about the
Wicked World and he will talk
for Hours at q Time. But the
Minute the Sun goes down you
want to yell for q Chaperon. That
will lead him to believe that he IL
q fascinating and dangerous Per
SON It IL always q terrific Hit.
ct know two Girls who landed
Good Things last summer merely
by sitting out In a Hammock and
calling for Chaperons. They used
to sit out until Midnight begging
somebody to 80 for a Chaperon.
and the Gentlemen had to talk to
them for Hours In order to calm
them and convince them that the
Whole Proceeding was according
to Hoyle; that II, as II tho Male
Party of the Second Part came Of
a Good Family"
1T take off my Bonnet to you."
said Mother. you don't need to
attend any Night School. There's
Just one other Variety. How about
tho Lonesome Married Mani"
You mean the Kind that want
to tell you how sorry he IL that
he didn't find you before he hook
ed up with a Woman who never
seems to Understand himf He 10
q Sad Affair. He IL trying to
sneak q Return Trip on tho Flirta-
ton Route after he has lost his
Ticket. As a Study he 10 fairly
interesting but the Pursuit Of
him IL barred by the Game Laws.
The best way to quiet him down
IL to get friendly with his VITA"
THAT settles It." said the elder.
~ gooiety Bird, ANY tims nat
] want a Hunoh I'll hunt up the
Young Lady of Today"
MORAL, It's q Wise Moti,es
that can hand out sny New Ones.
tCspyrisht 1sSs. BY Betsy Indicate. lao,