, 1922-06-28
Comedy Divorce
in Arizona Town

suspect that John was holding some
thing out on her. He useo to come
10 late at night whistling The Sheik"
through his false teeth and refusing
to answer any questions.
Mrs. Oatman Immediately suspected
Starlight Ocatflo, a light sorrel flap
per of the Yavapai tribe. who wore
hers rolled down.
Mrs. Oatman put mud on her hair.
She then began cutting down on the
menu. From then on she fed John
chile con carne and prunes. tortillas
and prunes, enchiladas and prunes.
~frtjoles and prunes and tamales-and
prunes. For variety she served
prunes.
John went out back of the house
one day and built a covered pit.
Working patiently, he got it filled with
ella monsters. lizards. vlnagrones,
scorpions, tarantulas and rattlesnakes.
EstelIe failed to fall into it. out this
was simply because she was stronger
than John.
The Last Straw.
John then moodily took TO eating
loco-weed. Cheered by Its kindly
stimulation he dragged Estelle out of
the shack one scorching hot after
noon, hOisted her to the top of a
candelabra cactus % feet high and tied
her there among the thorns.
Late In the evening n%eighbors liv-
ing two miles away heard her pro-
tests and cut her down; but Estelle
was now convinced that her husbands
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hired Lawyer Lucas and went into
court.
h John hired the other lawyer in Dat
man-H. G. Tops, who used to be
jigger boss on the graveyard shift in
Death Valleys Funeral range, but
who now owns n operates u ranch
where he grows cactus spines for pho
nograph needles. Attorney Tops at
ono scored heavily by invoking an
old French law that provides for three
judges instead of n and getting two
friends of Johns on the bench.
The following jurors were selected:
Rattlesnake Charlie Dix, Shorthand
Dirty O'Connor, ~Hassayampa Krtuss,
Cactus Jasper tfrom ella Monster
Center), Holy-Roller O'Rourke. Silver
Tongue Sam Bayless. Plug Hat
Shank, Hula Hula Kennedy. Painless
Hoag. Doggy Newton, Chuckwall A.
Pugh and Gold Tooth Nellie-formerly
of the camp at Goldfelds and now
proprietress Of Ye Olde Arts Shoppe.
Abduction Of Starlight.
When court convened there wasn't
an inch Of standing room left Mrs.
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the benches, the tenth was at home
listening to the radlophone.
The beautiful Starlight. named as
the woman in the case, was called
to the stand and charged with break
ing up the Oatman home.
Il was abducted" she said.
"When?" asked Lawyer Lucas.
"Once In July" said Starlight,
"and several times last February and
March,
81 object" yelled Attorney Tops.
He vas overruled.
"State concisely as possible the cir
cumstances of your abduction" said
Lawyer Lucas.
Colorado river to have a conference
with Oatman, and he abducted me.
The defendant was put on the stand.
How much property are you worth,
John?" said Judge zadock Sheffield.
The defendant admitted that he had
orce owned mining claims, but had
traded them off for a pair of overalls
and a new straw hat, the claims sub
%sequently produced ~S11,000,000 in
gold. Pressed as to his present assets,
he asserted that he still owned the
overalls, but that his soreback pinto
cayuse had eaten the straw hat. The
only gold he possessed. he testified,
was what Painless Hoag had put into
his false teeth to make them look
natural.
John was sentenced to one months
work on the country highways. inc
after that to take a job at painting
signs on the rocks along the road to
read: where VIII You Spend Your
Eternity?"
The divorce application was dis
missed, but as Estelle left the court
room she was presented with n bou-
quet of mariposa lilies by the Ladies'
Literary club Of Oatman.
The jury was asked by Judge