davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-10-15
and the brow, and a like distance | from it's base to the stern.
 NOah's Ark Outdone

anu the pIOWt AuQ n hho from it's base to the stern.
 Noah's Ark Outdone
 Noahs Ark, estimating the cubit at IS inches, was 450 feet long, 75 wide, and the Bible says 1t had only three stories. This flagship of mine has nine decks, and if ten-story apart mont house could be built on it's keel the roof would not reach the base of the smokestacks. Two such arks could be laid 1engthwise inside the Majestio, and there would still be three decks above and three decks below. Captain Trant who manages the steamer under Sir Bertram Hayes, tells me 1t takes nine- mile walk to see all of the ship. l am sure he Ia right, for make a Sab bath days journey every time l go from my room to nay meals.
 Just an item or 90 to emphasize those dimensions. Take . look at the great anchors which are dropped to steady the ship at tho harbors. The anchors of Columbus ships were fishhooks beside them. Indeed, the Majestic anchors might serve as fish hooks for the gods, the lines being cables of wrought steel each link of which could oncircls water melon. The Majestic has one anchor at each side of her prov. and third, the largest of all, sticks right out of the nose of the ship. Their total weight Is S5 tons, and their stems are twice the thickness of telegraph pole. In order to show you their size I have had myself photographed standing on the biggest one. It is so heavy that it would take 30 horses 10 haul 1t over the road. l am out in the open on the prov of the ship, hanging, as 1t were, In the air, higher above the keel than the roof of six-story building, SO feet below the hurricane deck and 60 feet above the level of the blue sea below. l am not a human fly. and will leave 1t to your ina gination as to how the photo was taken
 Columbus made his famous journey with sails. This ship is driven by turbines that give force equal to 100000 horses all working at once. Take out your watch and heft IL. Mine weighs five ounces. This ship weighs be.oo0 tons and every bit or 1t Is built like watch. went In an elevator with the chief engineer MT. Wolff. down through story after story of the marvellous machinery and put my hands on the steel wheel that controls the mighty force that speeds the Majestic through the waves faster than . race horse can trot. We are making 2b miles an hour as write. and our possible speed Is 30 or moro. Still with twist of tho wrist could start that great force to working. and with another twist. make 1t stop. The captain on the bridge has . thought,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-10-15

over the floor. That Is ono of the scenes l should like to show to Co., lumbus. Perhaps the dances would remind him of his African travels; the curls of the bobbed haired mai dens stand out like the kinky wool of a negro belle. The gowns worn by the dancers are as a rule of silk or filmy chiffon. The stuffs are so sheer that a full dress weighs less than a pound. But that dress Is worth moro than it's weight in gold. If anyone should doubt this, here are the figures: An ounce of gold is worth S20, and a pound of avoirdu- pois would be 16 times that, or s320. There Is many gown on the floor every night that costs above that, and that notwithstanding ono might squeeze 1t up in one hand or ram it Into tumbler. Nevertheless, some of the girls on this ship don a new dress every evening.
 Peep at the Kitchen
 But all this Is vanity! In the words of King David, "Yea. 1t is lighter than vanity" (Psalms xlii:s). Chris topher Columbus. with the odor of the salt junk and slumgullion of four centuries ago in his nostrils, would be more interested in the housekeep- ing arrangements of this mighty ocean hotel I shall take his spirit with me down a half-dozen stories and show him the kitchens. the butchers and bakers, and the store rooms filled with supplies enough to feed fat these 5000 souls who have brought their greedy stomachs aboard. l have not space to tell how Columbus cooked for his men. but the ranges for preparing the chops and steaks on this vessel are as big as dining table seating a dozen. and are kept red-hot by electricity. In addition, there are the open fires for cooking roasts and game upon spits as was done by Robin Hood and his band in Sherwood forest be- fore the days of Columbus, and there are great steel kettles for soup, each of which holds as much as bathtub and breathes out steam like fac- tory.
 The spirit of Columbus would see 100 lamb chops on the stove at a time; and, in the bakeshops. biscuits and rolls shoveled out of ovens Into baskets each holding four bushels. meat every day; it bakes it's own bread, mixing a barrel of flour at q kneadlng; and 1t cuts the bread by machinery so fast that one loaf of 72 slices was chopped up in just 30 seconds by the ticks of my watch. l despair of describing the store rooms. one of them has 5000 wild birds hung up in temperature 12 degrees below freezing. As I shiv- cred among them, the steward told me he had on hand 1000 quail, 1000 pheasants and 800 snipe. His part ridges number 75o. and this. to say
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-10-15

face talks with the peasant on his farm, the wage worker in his fac- ,ory, the merchant over his counter, the woman in her home. shall show you how the new woman has taken the place of the man; and I may even speak of why the stork is nesting in Germany and how the Rachel of France is mourning for her children because they are not. I shall not write war stuff nor politics. though if king or a president should tell me his hopes and his woes I may re- port them.
 am not a prophet nor the son of a prophet, and I shall not predict. My expedition Is solely one of discovery. l am but an humble explorer, travel ing over the European continent from farm to farm, from workshop to workshop, from town to town, and from country to country with my secretary at my elbow jotting down just what see. I may now and then take a Zeppelin or an airplane to cover long distances, but most of these travels will be in automobiles with my camera ready for any strange shot that may offer.
 The Modern Columbus
 Indeed, feel am the modern Co., lumbus. In 1492 the great Genoese started west across the Atlantic and discovered America. In 1922 I am starting across the Atlantic to dis cover the new world of Europe. Co., lumbus had a fleet of three little vessels. His flagship, the Santa Ma ria, was only 90 feet long and 20 feet wide. and it's displacement was about 35 tons. My ship Is the Majestic, the biggest boat that has f1oated the seas since God divided the waters. It is more than double the length of the ark of Old Noah, and thrice it's depth from the hurricane deck to the keel. It is just about HOO times the size of the flagship of Columbus. To be exact. 1t has 5000 gross tonnage, is 956 feet long, 100 feet wide. and e little more than 100 feet deep.
 But figures mean nothing except to an Einstein, an Isaac Newton. or an Humphrey Davey. Let me give you some concrete comparisons: Take the Wooiworth building in lower New York. Let the genii who moved Aladdin's palace in the wink of an eye lift it up and lay 1t lengthwise beside us out here in midocean. The Majestic is almost 200 feet longer, and it's cubic contents I venture are greater. When the Central Park obelisk was brought from Egypt to lNews York it filled the steamer upon which 1t was carried. You could put the Washington monument. the greatest of all obelsks, on the deck of the Majestic. and there would still be 200 feet between its aluminium tip
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-10-15

backs up to the filling plug at service station or other storage place. tho metallic nozzle from the truck touches the metallic intake pipe and thus forms a ground for any charge of static electricity that may collect in the truck. Sometimes, however, the nozzle does not touch a grounding point, and with no other metallic ground from the truck. the car is on rubber tires. Sometimes. also. tho noxxls of the truck outlet pipe rests against a wooden piece in the intake rfps and is thereby likewise insu- lated, for dry wood is also an in sulator.
 vapor Arises
 While tho gasoline Is poured into the storage tank a certain amount of vapuor arises, and there Is certain to be some about the intake and the truck. The flow of the liquid will set up a static charge in the truck. AS the charge increases, 1t may be- como strong enough to leap the gap to the nearest ground. or tho two points may be brought into contact. There Is spark. flash. an ex- plosion and untold damage may result.
 Consequently the careful tank driver always has a metallic part hanging from the truck to the ground, . rod or chain, to drain orr the lecetrio charge as it collects, as long as the gasoline Is being drawn off.
 The same basic fact has been the cause of numerous smaller fires ana explosions in garages, both private Q md 1ft T {ws ta nH a was being filled with gasoline from can. While tho employe ran the gas into the can he strained 1t through a chamois filler in funnel. To make the funnel sit up straight in the hole in the tank a wooden ring was placed in the hole and the funned was placed in that Thus the csn was insulated. After pouring some gasoline into the tank, the man brought the can spout Into contact with the tank. There YRS a spark, a flash and the resulting explosion.
 A man was pumping gasoline into . can in his own garage. He hung the pail on the hook over the spout of the pump. He did not notice that the pail had woolen handle. By reason of the wooden handle tho pail was Insulated from the pump. The charge in the pail which ieaped the gap to tho pump and another fire was started.
 silk Friction
 Friction of silk cloth will produce static electricity. and fires have been caused. 1t has been reported to gov srnment agencies. when silk cloths soaked with benzine or gasoline were rsed to rub the grim off mechanics
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-10-15
NEW LAMP BURNS
 949b AIR
Beats Electric or Gas

A new oil lamp that gives an amazingly brilliant, soft, white lig..t. even better than gas or electricity, has been tested by the U. 8. Govern inant and S5 leading universities and found to be superior to 10 ordinary oil lamps. 1t burns without odor, smoke or noise-no pumping up. 10 simple. clean, safe. Burns 94 per cent air and 6 per cent common kerosens (coal oiD.
 The inventor, J. F. Johnson. sos w. Lake St., Chicago, is # ering to send a lamp on 10 days FREE trial. or even to give one FREE to tho first user In each locality who will help him introduce 1t. Write him today for full particulars. Also ask him to explain how you can get the agency. and without experience or money make $25o to $500 per month.-Adv.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-10-15

that keeps out the water. At the level of the sea and below, this shell is double. with an air space between so large that big dog could crawl through 1t. But higher up there is only the single steel skin enclosing and furnishings.
 There Is nothing on the steamer that recalls the bluff old skipper and sailors of the days of John and Se- bastian Cabot and Americus Vespu- cius. The captain of this ship Is a retired commodore of the British navy, who has been knighted by his King. His title Is Sir Bertram Hayes, K. c. NJ G., D. s. O.. R. D., and that notwithstanding he is more simple and unpretentious than John Acker. the steward who takes care of my room. have chatted with Sir chartroom, and he has no more fuss and fathers than any of the other ef- fiefent captains I have met in life time of travel.
 And now let us look at the enter tainment part of this ship. When one walks up the gangway of the modern liner he comes Into a float ing hotel, with elevators that glide noiselessly up and down, with walls of ivory whiteness, and with frescoed and decorated ceilings upheld by great columns like marble. We have on B deck, eight stories above the steel keel, three great rooms the width of the steamer. that cover the length of a short city block. They are walled with plate glass windows looking out on the ocean, or rather upon the wide promenades that run along high over the sea. These rooms are from 2e to 30 feet high, and they are fitted out with furniture worth q kings ransom. At one end Is the Palm Court filled with real palms whose fronds kiss the ceiling. They are bedded In flowers growing out of the earth round their roots. In deed, Columbus might sit here among these tropical trees and imagine him self In the West Indies.
 Dancing in . Steamer De Luxe
 Beyond the palm room Is a res- taurapt where one can dine la carte at . dollar a bite if he Is not satis- fied with the table d'hote in the din- ing hall three decks below. Opposite, across a wide lobby, is the lounge, which Is almost as long as was the deck of the Santa Maria. The lounge has at one end a stage large enough to accommodate a dozen musicians. and there the orchestra plays for the dances that we have every eve ming. It is for all the world like the supper room of New York hotel. with a large dancing space in the center. At night 300 or 400 people sit in tho upholstered chairs on the red velvet carpet that surrounds the dance floor, and men in evening dress and richly clad women move
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-10-15

Pyramid Pile suppositories, you arc an exception. To avoid the pain and lease of comfort; ask your druggist for . 60 cant box of Pyramid PilS Suppositories. Take no substitute If you would like to try them first Pyramid Drug Co, e31 Pyramid Bldg, Marshall. Mich.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-10-15

my way abroad to explore it. I want to show you the land and the
 people; to de- scribe how the new other half lives and how it is competing with us; to write of the beggars who live in palaces and the one-time
 millionaires who toll for their
 bread. I expect Na Aa.~ Saa fn
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-10-15

hands. Sparks arc a prolific sourse of gasoline fires. especially sparks from open flames. broken electric lights and from friction. Even the clash on concrete pavement of the nails in shoe has been known to form sparks which resulted in fires when gasoline vapor was present.
 If gasoline is stored in an open place, such as pail, the United States bureau of mines reports. the room in which the pail Is left will shortly be filled with an easily ex- plosible mixture. The limits of ex- possibility are between Is percent and per cent of gasoline vapor in air. In other words, only little ga soline vapor is needed to render air explosive-lA feet of gasoline vapor for each 971a feet of air. One gallon of gasoline can under perfect con- ditons. render 2,1o0 cubic feet of air explosive.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-10-15
Don't Suffer
 With Piles

Lee Pyramid rfle suppeslesx1ss Re- lfovo You, Ease ths Pain nAd Strain and Bring Comkow6
 If you are suffering with itnhfng, bleeding or protruding piles or hemorrhoidz. and have nsvsl tried
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-10-15

HER QUALIFICATIoNs From Life. T hear Enid is going on the 1 stage"
 Why, she can't act she doesn't
 1 even knew how to behave"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-10-15

Majestic, the Homerio. and the Olym- pic, not to mention any others, 96 cents is American money. The Brit ish officers, sailors. and others who operate the vessels are really our servants, and if the ships make or lose. the loss or profit will come to us. In addition to this there Is Amer loan money in Belgian and Dutch steamship lines. and we have over 1000 vessels under the American flag, including those of the shipping board. whose magnificent fleet goes out to all the chief ports of the world.
 TnN& c>-,A-- Copyright. ts9f, by Frank c. Car
 penter.)
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1922-10-01
ORPiIEUNf

rrs-t- wilcox. clever young com
edfan remembered pleasantly for
r8sf e1rlremen-s here. IS featured
~ me Orrheum starting today lu
specially written vehicle by Vincent
lawrence. entitled ''Ssh-h. This
breezy rouickinE skit. which
puts over an extraordinary number
~ LAUGHS and a surprisingly COM
nlete story in q short space of time.
II. is ceared up 90 high speed and
rovers around the "top-notch' point
aH Tho vav through Coupled Win
r.- ,arqrIlittes AS an actor he has
az extremely IEeable personality.
snIerd.i voice and pleasing bear
ms H.s supporting company also
comes in for "a share az tho praise
and he uses excellent Judgment IN
tae choice az his fellow players.
Carl Boaul and company. sue
cessfuI c1a5urers proves that see
lur IS NOT always believing and Of
Ter wide variety az interesting and
ID srlfT.re .riefs All the while
.acg Keep gp "a bright witty thread
az dialogue uW Robinson. oolorad
comedian ard last stopper introduces
bits 81 hIm0r. smar. songs and
eccentric dancing thar IS out OF the
ordinary LAMBERT Xyi0phone ar
list: Sealo. the animal with the ha-
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1922-10-01

Fields pokes his finger in the eye
OF Mr. Weber and they &c. $4,000
for i. while other singers and my
self who have devoted our lives 10
developing our art. get $1,000 for
our combined Efforts"
Tt was the great reception the
audience gave US that thrilled me,
says Fields. The thrill upon our
return this time was almost as
great. Both Of u cried when the
applause kept up for 10 minutes"
Weber and Fields have gone
their separate ways several times,
but neither has achieved any great
success alone Those who have fol
lowed their career say heir separa-
tions have been due 70 their dual
personalities. The humor OF their
stage situations lies in their con
slant Quarrelng Their stage per-
soual.ties have fastened themselves
on .heir real personalities.
But ask either OF them about that
and they'll deny that they ever quar-
relied of stage.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1922-10-01
WISCONSIN CEOLOCIST
HUNTS MOTHER LODE

RACINE, Wis. Sept 3O-(By L.
P)-When glaciers crept down
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1922-10-01

81 rite the rules Of the game2"
The audience Is convuIsed al hat
line. Weber told me that he made
up that line on the spur Of the
momen,.
Take off the makeup Of Weber
ard Fields and they are almost
colorless Here are two men known
o. millions. their names a by-word
q the daily life Of America. ye- or
staee they seem 20 be without per-
81 llity. without vitality.
That is because the stage e their
own life They stared when they
were half past nine" "a Weber
puts Il. They have butchered the
queens English so much on the
stage that they continue 10 sIaugh-
ter il on-stoge mos. OK the time
Each considers the biggest thrill
OF his life their Golden jubilee held
10 years ago The box Office took
ir $4,000
The biggest thrill got was
when Caruse talked a, our dinner %
Weber told me He said Mr.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1922-10-01

from the north. gouging ou- the
great lakes and upset primitive
topography, they left trail Of gold
which Hugo Meyers geologist. ex-
poets TO follow in an attempt to
Locate he mother lode.
Gold nuggets, worth as much as
$40 apiece, have been found on the
Or. Harrison farm near Canton, Ill.
Biologists explained that the gold
has been carried south by glaciers
during the ice age.
on his annual prospecting tour.
just completed, through Wisconsin
and Illinois. Meyers found $40
worth OF gold.
The rail is fairly we'll defined, ."
he said. 1T Is Uttered with gold
ard with diamonds. Biologists ad-
vance the theory that the glaciers
swept across the source. or mother
lode, somewhere in the far north
and carried the nuggets south"
Meyers IS preparing for his next
Journey into the north country. He
recently returned from the Yukon
where he completed preliminary
steps Of his plan to prospect for
the mother lode.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1922-10-01

by being bad Englishmen. II is nc
good thing taking Highlander
out OF his native kits.
The British Empire is a temple
OF many stones Far distant lands
contribute. and all its local stones
are well polished want the
granite Of Wales to be there. but I
don't want ii painted like the
granite OF Aberdeen. Polish il II
YOU Will, but let the color remain
Welsh. The Empire will be stronger
Wales will be better
Therefore. for Gods sake go on
singing your Welsh songs and de-
hvering your Welsh Rotations I
heard them when I was lad, and
I hope TO hear them until 1 die.
Sing them over my grave,
Keep TO the songs OF Wales
Keep to the literature OF Wales; il
IS only by so doing that you can
make your great contribution to
the Empire and to humanity"
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1922-10-01

man brain and another act of merit
completes the program.
Starting with the matinee Thurs
day George LOvett and company.
presenting Concentration" a spec
tacUlar demonstration OF psychic
power. introduced in a manner so
vastly different from the old-fash-
ioued mind reading acts that Il
leaves no room for comparison. His
company this season includes Miss
Georgia Templeton. world famous
seeress and his mystery band, an
organization of five super-musical
artists who play any musical com
position upon written or whispered
request TO Mr. Lovett Altogether
the act is one that embraces mys-
terry, music. science and mirth.
Bobby Henshaw. remarkably
clever young chap. a pair of phe-
nomenal skaters who cali themselves
the Unusual Duo. Hardy brothers,
who talk with their hats and two
other acts Of merit complete the bill
of the last half
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1922-10-01

and, like all ingenious fables. per
mits of international variations. The
German version Is that my name is
Sigismund Ochs. a musician, born
on the Rhine. emigrated to Amer
lea, trunk marked s. o., L. S. A.
therefore the name The English
version is that 1 am one Sam ogden
a musician, Yorkshire man, emigrat-
ed to America, luggage marked s. O..
L. 5. A. hence the cogomen. The
domestic brand of the story is that
l am Greek named Philipso. emf
grated to America, a musician. car
rying my worldly possessions in a
box marked S. o.. L. S. A, therefore
the patronymic.
THE story emanated about ten
years ago from the youthful AMI in
geniOus brain OF a onetime publicity
promoter Of mine. Since It first
appeared I have been called upon
20 deny II in every country upon
the face of the earth in which the
white man has trOd. but. like Tel
nysOn's brook, it goes on forever.
Seriously. / was born on Novem-
her 6, 1854. IN q. ST., s. e, near old
Christ church, Washington. d. c.
My parents were Antonio Sousa and
Elizabeth Trinkhaus Sousa, and L
drank in lacteal fluid and patriot
ism simultaneously. within the
shadow of the Great White Dome.
/ was christened John Philip al Dr..
F'iulzers church in Twenty second
ST.. y w, Washington. D. c.. and
YOU might mention that If I had
an opportunity 10 be born again.
I would select the same parents. tho
same city. the same time and-well.