The New York herald., 1922-02-21

industry when nobody suspected that
such fortunes ever would be made
bothers us not in the slightest. We
send our this literature to our sucker
lists under the name of the corpora
tion whose stock is being fioated.
We praise the stock for all the traf-
fic will bear, because we have pro-
vided means of dissipating the
doubts of persons who become inter-
ested. as shall presently be shown.
We mention in our circulars that our
stock is being handled by such-and
such brokers, those brokers" being
none other than our own brokerage"
Office and its branches.
Pretty soon we begin to get replies
through the main brokerage office and
it's branches. Do we hop right at our
prospects then and ram the deal
through? Not on your life. We write
back or have our statesmen telephone:
Yes, we have this stock listed. 1t
looks very good, but our reputation is
such that we cannot afford to take a
chance with our customers money.
Therefore we have referred your in
Investigation Company, who report
on all new issues for us before we
will undertake to sell such. We will
advise you on the nature of their re-
port as soon as we get it. Unless the
report is favorable we could not adj
wise you TO invest in this stock"
Inquiry stays on File.
Now the process of referring the
inquiry TO the Foolemgood Securities
Investigation Company consists Of
writing out the name of our prospect
on an index card and filing it for
letter about three days hence, for, OF
course, who should the Foolemgood
Securities Investigation Company be
but ourselves. whose judgment we
know we can trust.
Therefore, at the end or three or
four days it delights us to inclose
copy of the report Of the Foolemgood
Company. which is highly favorable to
the stock concerning which inquiry
has been made. In fact, so flattering
is the report of Foolemgood that we
have taken occasion to look into the
enterprise on our own account--a
thing to which, being large and busy
concern, we rarely resort
We find that this stock Is such an
exceptional opportunity that-in ef
fect-everybody in the world ought
to buy as much of it as they can
scrape together the money for and
ought to do it at once 1t is doubtful
il there ever was just such another
opportunity, and we even express our
gratitude to our client for having
called our especial attention TO il
through his inquiry.
Many Claims on Subscription.
! But when he sends along his SUD-
scription for the stock will he kindly
| inclose fee for Foolemgood's investi-
| cation, that, of course, being custom
ary-at least as far as our business
is concerned. So first we collect Fool
emgood's fee.
Now, next. on Foolemgood's recon-
mendation, we sell the stock, and we
take our brokers' commission for that.
The stock being new promotion is
sue. naturally our commission is very
high, perhaps 80 or 80 per cent.
Next we send the remainder of the
subscription for the stock. on to7the
corporation for which we are datinG
the issue. Inasmuch as we conceived.
originated, own and operate that cor
poration, naturally the disposition of
that money also falls TO our care.
And when, finally, the dinged old oil
well proved to be a dry hole, or the
movie feature failed to get across, how
can we help it, and what can be done
about it? Not a blessed thing on the
top side of this green earth, as far as
we are concerned, because, being mas
| ter minds" as we are. we naturally
have not made one single statement on
which, when carefully analyzed, any
District Attorney or post Office inspec-
| tor can make so much as a gesture in
our direction.