The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1922-06-07

Pushing heavenward
From the sod.
JAY G. sIGMUND.
A TENNESSEE negress who transported
half boys of liquor in baby carriage drew
fine of 500 and 80 days in Jail. Her attor-
ney says he will appeal on the ground that a
baby carriage is not common carrier. Huh;
there's only one carrier more common than a
perambul and that's a hivver.
$40, No; You EFT, NV Dear Watson. Merely
Case of CoincidentaI JBxtaposition.'
[From the Monmouth tIll.) Atlas.1
Mr. and Mrs. Charles James of Alexis
the parents of a baby girl born this
morning at the hospital.
Ralph Tubbs of Berwick was able to
leave the hospital yesterday.
WE haven't read far in peter While,
Carl Van Vechten's book Cloaned to US by Jay
Sig.). but we find it an absorbing narrative
of what, however, we have no idea yet The
absence of quotation marks in such a CONVEX
sational book tickles our fancy and the pres
ence of split inhnitive in the preface doesn't
deter US from reading on.
OH, WELL, THIS is THE FISH STORY
SEASON. Y'KNoW.
R E MIG: The following was clipped from
the Chicago Herald and Examiner dated Sun
day, June 4:
The mystery girl who took mercurial
poisoning on the Nicholas Sem high
school grounds Thursday night is girl
of mystery no longer. She is Eleanor
Jarvis of the Darlington hotel 400 ~
, Racine avenue -.
The girls plea. from her bed in the
American hospital that some one feed
her goldfish led to discovery of her
identity.
Sounds rather fshy to me- I knew a Rock
Island barber who asked to be fed goldfish
cnce. He'd been drinking hooch, and not
mercurial poison. TOMBSTONE FAN.
CATCHING sight of line in big type which
began, we specialize in bank burglary, rob-
berry -, we were about to gasp, Have the
crooks taken to advertising?', when suddenly
we were relieved to that these words were
qualified by the word insurance
H0OT, MON! WE DINNA BELIEVE 1T!
[From the Portland (Ore) Grotto News.I
A Scotchman who lived on loch
Would sit all day on a rooh!
But one day a maid trim,
Dotted her clothes for swim,
And the poor fellow died from the shoch.
SELDOM do we object to persons calling
the movie folk anything they please, but we
don't get the idea when the Davenport Times
refers TO Nazimova as "celebated" We refuse
to believe it.
D'You Suppose He Means Rooster?
bushnell Corr. Galesburg Republican
Register.l
William Cox of North Sperry street,
was catching some chickens at her home
to kill in order to prepare luncheon
for his daughter, who was soon going
west. AS he was doing so, vicious
male bird few up and struck him near
one of his hands and 1 am informed that
infection has set in which will be bad
for man of his age.
HEAVENS. by Louis Untermyer, in the
latest two issues of the Broom, is a fan
tastic bit of writing should be sorry to have
missed. Readers of Dell, Lewis and Mencken
may find entertainment in the closing para
graphs.
Which RiValed the Sahara, No Doubt.
From the Davenport TimesJ
Stanwood, Iowa-An old fashioned
barn raising was held at the William |
Tenly farm last Monday. About thirty
netghbors assembled and the barn was
raised and the siding and floors put in
all in one day. 1t was all old-fashioned
except the key of beer. In its place good
food was furnished, and desert of ice
cream.
RODOLPH THE BEAUTIFUL has promised
not to assume marital relation with the pres !
ent Mrs. Valentino until the time fixed by the |
law shall have expired.
the text for his next movie sermon from
Job xiv:14.
And if he can get any comfort from Millions |
much-quoted line he's welcome to it.
WE see by the paper Cthe revered parent |
following paralytic strike" That has NO
reference to the coal strike. 1t hasn't paralyzed
ADD to jobs for Arthur Davis. the man who
IS financially able to handle anything:
Brihing Grandpa Rockefeller to give his
Aathilde's marriage
z E MIG