, 1922-01-11
Sage Ticks

A6hLo lAlC1 III
Chelsea 8549.
Lord Riddell, a member Of the Bri-
fish delegation to the disarmament
conference, has come from Washing
ton, D.. c., and is at the Ritz-Carlton
for a few days. where Mrs. Elisha
Dyer is spending a few days, having
arrived from Baltimore.
Not to be outdone by the paper from
the Big City. the Pelham Sun announ-
ces:
There will be a bride at the Manor
Club on Tuesday afternoon. December
18th, at $3.50. The proceeds will be
used for the furnishing of the assem-
bly, room.
When they operated on Columbus
w. Hetzel. in Paramount, w. va,
they found a scissors blade in his
brain. H. Won u. remarks that The
must have been a cut-up."
Lizette Woodwork Reese says that
the trouble with the free verse" poets
is that they have no sense Of humor.
While we are inclined to agree with
Sister Reese. we would go on to say
that there might be found other lacks
q well. Surely the lack of a n
of humor is not all. for heaven knows
John Milton had no humor in his CON
stitution!
For the benefit Of those who doubt
this statement, we refer the readers
to Millions humorous" verses "On
the University Carrier
There is a collector in Paris who
has a Chinese god marked: Heather
Idol" Next to 1t is a gold coin mar
ked: christian IDOL
The last thing we expected to read
about was a collision between a ship
and a trolley car. But 10! here 1t
appears. The little encounter took
place on a swing bridge in Dublin.
when the ship got into too great a
hurry. and poked her masts into the
trolley car.
But then, the people OF Dublin must
10 uS00 " diAlobt Gil llin6 uOWs
We found an extremely pretty little
sentiment slowed away in the dreary
pages OF the official paper of the w.
T. G. U. It was so sweet that we
could not refrain from clipping 1t and
r%eprinting it here with due acknow-
iedgment.
ut is always noontide somewhere.
And across the awak'ning CONT
nents, =
From shore to shore. somewhere.
Our prayers are rising evermore."
Hard luck Is a rather common pro-
perty these days; but it seems that
some of us have a good deal o
thai a fair share. When a man does
HIS level best, and is foiled by the
most trining circumstance. so that
the whole curse of his life is altered,
we cannot but sympathize.
Take the case of Jim Smith. of
Charleston, West Virginia He got
fed up with life. and decided that an
investigation of the Great Beyond
would prove more interesting thar a
continued stay with us on this earth.
Jim was very determined about
the matter. and would permit himself
no chance of failure. He betook
himself to the bridge over the Elk
River, to which bridge he fastened
one end OF a rope. The other he put
securely about his own neck. Then
he poured gasoline over his clothes,
and set fire Il himself at his feet.
In one hand he held a gun, while with
the other he fed himself anthony.
And them! His foot slipped
off the rail. Over he went. His gun
went off. but it went over his head.
severing the rope. He dropped into
the river like a shooting star, as pic
turesquely as Lucifer falling from
Heaven. But, somewhat less pictur-
esquely, he landed in the icy water,
which not only extinguished his bla-
zing garments, but made him very
sick as well, from the shock. He then
got rid OF all the anthony he had so
carefully swallowed. and swan ashore
a wetter and a wiser man.
A contemporary says that the true
test of an fastener is that he always
speaks Of the Northwestern Universe
ty, and Ann Harbor. We desire to
go on record as absolutely disagree
ing with his writer. We have neve
yet found a dude who spoke Of either
place Incorrectly.
We do not wish to appear ais ad-
vocate for the dudes, but there is no
need to foist off on them the sins
they do not commit. Heaven knows
they do enough things without
adding to the list from our fertile and
jovial imaginations.