South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1922-10-08

ness than IN the line we follow
In the worlds broad field OF bat
tie. in the bivouac OF life. keep a
stiff upper lip. a cool head and a
sound liver. and you may be a hero
in the strife.
Among ostriches." Scraps" tells
US "the male birds incubate the
eggs" And they have 10 supply the
tips, too. We suppose the female os-
triches are fappers and shifters.
We advise the scientists VINO say Il
is possible to broadcast" odor over
inconceivabIe distances 70 go slow.
The boOtleggers might get the idea.
But, this does not answer the ques-
ton as 10 what Tom Krieter did
with the duck he caught at Klinger
lake?
It IS said that most booze made
nowadays is made under conditions
most insanitary. Still, no germ can
survive il.
We're delighted the local post OF
the American Legion made some
money out OF its recent entertain
ment. The boys well merited success,
and we trust the circus viii be held
annually every year"
Mayor Cromwell swears there Will
be no petty grating in the city hall
Of Kansas City while he is mayor.
Fine. and see that there is no grand
grating. either. The petty CRATER
excites public contempt The big
CRATER hattens the taxpayers pocket
book.
We might tolerate the powder and
the rouge i'm a pinch but we shall
trend TO the eternal silence without
ever having become resigned 20 the
outrageous lipstick.
Pres't Harding says business IS
facing a mighty revival We do not
regard the president as a great eco
nomic statesman, but we hope the
revival he predicts will come. We
have the Amen and Hallelujah
squads ready for action.
r d. Thayer is teaching a class 20
play the saxophone. Then, this IS
where our friendship ceases. We'd
rather have the Scotch bagpipes any
old day
MI Aa.t-o,.. r,,,-, l,,,,,1r1o5 chair
sessions down east. and they were a
fine bunch. Paradoxial as it may
seem. there was not a Ioafer among
them.
Prejudice. greed and ignorance are
the vices of what passes for state
manship in the United States today
Another reason why people are
not intensely interested i'm the ar
peals of the candidates. they are not
particularly interested i'm voting for
anybody or anything, but want
chance to vote against somebody.
Another reason why parents
should give their children hand
training and not rely upon the State
to perform that duty. all the crooks
.'of the land were once babies. and
were probably petted when they
really needed stern treatment
What is congress doing TO relieve
sufferers of fiatfoot, shingles and
corns? Why does II not create a de-
partment of cutaheous affections so
that the president may appoint a
Secretary of Itch? What Is the gov
eminent for. If not to care for. com
fort and relieve people? Having
made folks good by law. why doesn't
it make them comfortable.
our wealthy citizens who stand
well al the banks may be able to
borrow the money with which TO
pay their next income tax.
II the Volstead law has teeth. il
needs the services of a dentist lots
Of times. It's bite is defective.
To all those who decline to heed
our Early Christmas Shopping" in
junction this year we can only say
Go TO H. and may the Lord have
mercy on your souls"
"If wives only knew what steno-
graphers think Of their hus bands
they wouldn't worry says a writer.
The wives are not worrying about
what the stenos think OF their hus-
may think of the stcnographers, not
having heard their husbands swear
at the aforesaid stenographers
The Wild oat crop - alWays q