The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1922-06-22

/ Is S6iu anu QOIlE.
q q q
This is the season of unalloyed
bliss. Before the strawberry short
cake period is over comes the cherry
pie.
"A single fly" says bugologist,
"often brings in with him 6 million
ravenous bacteria which he proceeds
to place in strategic positions." II a
single fly does that, Lord save US
from the married ones.
as this very healthful place ?"
asked the tourist. "Well, should
smilen replied the native. There
amt been a death here for many
years. And the last party who died
was the undertaken, an he died from
hunger, he did,"
We suppose there were more Ar
menians than Chinese. for during our
time there have been, according to
our recollection, Iabout 700 million
killed by the Turks or starved to
death.
Nearly every fat woman in town
is dieting and trying other methods
to cut down in weight. May the Lord !
bless their efforts, and il they get /
as slim as the editor Of The Index, he /
would like to know what they do to
fatten up again.
"Are those eggs fresh 2" Fresh,
mum? 2" replied the veracious dealer,
n confidential tones. "I'll tell you
low fresh they are, mum. Suppose
i friend of mine was to come and
ay,' Bill, I've got quart Of the finest
liquor that was ever tasted by NOR
al man. Pm going to make little
ggnog and ! want you to be at the
arty.' Well, num- continued the
ROGER, after dramatic pause,
hem's the eggs I'd give him."
A farm hand was taken i'll and his
mployer sent him with a note to a /.
Dctor Next morning the patient =
,turned. "You're looking much bet \
r." said the employer "Did you ;,
ave any trouble in finding the doc ),
IF ?" NO." said the man, CHS name :,
as on the door. But l didn't go to N
e one you sent me to-" "You didn't? :
by not? Because, under his name
! the door, it said 10 to 1, while the
me of the other doctor had under :,
to s." "Well," asked the employ :,
, "what on earth has that to do -
It'll it?" Everything" answered - -
e man. Eight to is lot better -
ance than 10 to 1, isn't it," %
An Emmett man who recently went vi
Portland was requested by his wife er
hunt up friend named Crummock. n
rummock7 Oh, / can't remember nj
ch q name as that" said hubby. m
low dear, use the memory SYSTEM" 1r
ID wife. 1t teaches you that to re- In
'mber q thing you need only to get sn
'hyme for it. Crummock-stomach Oil
~ easy that is. Now, you're sure to-
remember. aren't your" II sup IN
- So" the man muttered, doubt no
~. And repeating, "Crummock, ma
mach. Crummock, stomach he oy
ode OF to catch his train. A few un
- later, when he got home, he APP s.i
'ached his wife rather guilty. II UNI
ked hard In the directory and in me
red all over town." he said, "but 70
ouldn't md that man Kelly any
sre."
ode
)uring the war young Lieutenant Ex
] detailed to duty as drill officer spe
: camp Of colored draft troops in and
sissippi One night he was re- sib
ming from nearby town to his the
rters and a. h neAred the sentry oe
.. ont Of Tie darkness came q voice ="
Ing HALT" He halted gave ~ D.,
ntsrsign and started on. Immedi- the
y In the gloom there was a rattle It i
4 . ride being shifted in the sen by
, hands and again "Halt!s "You the
. halted me once already" he
sharply and I've given you the
sword. What more do you wants" Il
III, boss" said the sentry, II don't Inc
y you. Wen the sergeant put me ~. M"
tonight he pintedly SEE to me arm
If somebody comes by witch is . dor
niger to me is to cry 'Halt.' thee he
8 and den shoot i'm" ask,
a 4 sron
canny Scot and his wife visited ~.