davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1922-03-16

Teacher-"If n cat In well climbs
up two feet and falls back one. how
long will II take her 30 get out?' Son
Of Efficiency Expert have little or
no interest In such cat."-Harper's
Magazine.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1922-03-16

j, Chas. l.. Heisler, wish to an
nounce my candidacy for the office of
Register Of Deeds Of Gratiot County.
IL nominated and elected, will fulfill
the duties of the office as faithfully
as have cndeavored to do in the few
months since my appointment.
/ solicit your support at the Pri-
mary election Sept. 18th, 1922.
43-2w Chas. l.. Heisler.
political ADVERTISEMENT
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1922-03-16
AccordInp to a cnntamnornru /.

According to contemporary, the
most anxious time In a girls life Is
when she is called upon to decide
whether she shall marry or keep her
freedom. Generally, of course, she
solves the problem by doing both -
Passing Show, London.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1922-03-16

The Record can print it for you at
fair price.-advertisement 10-3w
The Washington times., 1922-04-26
HARDING GIVES
HALF HOLIDAY
FOR GRANT DAY
District and Federal Employees
Will Share in Presidents
Respite.

A half holiday for all Federal and
District employees tomorrow has been
ordered by President Harding to
enable them to participate In the
ceremonies incident to the dedica'
ton OF the Memorial to Gen. Ulysses
S. Grant, on the hundredth anniver.
sary of his birth.
The employees will be dismissed at
noon in order to permit them to get
their lunch and attend the dedication
at the Botanic Gardens at ESQ
o'clock, IL they so desire.
The executive order, issued last
night, permitting a half holiday.
does not include per diem employees
or where the same would be in
consistent with the provisions of the
existing law" In effect, however,
the Presidents executive order will
afford a half-holiday for practically
all the employees of the Government.
The District public schools will be
closed at 1890 tomorrow by order
of the District Commissioners 80
that the school children may be al
lowed to witness the memorial serV'
ices Of the one hundredth anniver'
sary OF Gen. Grant.
The entire cadet corps will march In
the parade which starts at 1880 O'Clock
in accordance with plans made by
school authorities with the arrange
ment committee of the Grant me
mortal exercises.
The Washington times., 1922-04-26
Matzenauer Deaf To
Reporters Pleas
For Story

Nine. Margaret Matzenauer
now has a French maid to but
ton her up the back. Friend
husband is responsible for the
maid. He baked at the exact
ing task and went back to
chauffeuring, incidentally see
ing a lawyer about a divorce.
Nine. Matzenauer, booked for
a recital at Polls Theater this
afternoon, sat robed in silence
at the Shoreham Hotel today.
"Ess Moddom expecting
your" the French maid asked
the reporter who had been
rapping at the door for five
minutes. The reporter hoped
she was, and the maid disap-
peared.
There ensued, behind the
closed door, a discussion in sus-
picious undertones. Then the
French maids wide brown
eyes looked into the corridor.
"Moddom says she isn't going
to give out any interviews at
ALL" said the daughter of
France in letter-perfect Ameri-
can.
Reportorial argument and
subsequent telephoning were
of no avail. Moddom is con-
serving her voice.
The Washington times., 1922-04-26
.BADEYES|GHT
OFTEN|LLUS|ON,
EXPERT CLAIMS
Optical Authorities, Meeting
Here. Say Defects Some
times Only Imagination.

II your eyesight is bad and you
are continually seeing your own
nose, or you are seeing two moons
or anything else like that, the best
thing to do is to forget about it..
Because it's all Imagination.
That's what DR.. J. Gray Clegg,
of Manchester, England. advises.
Discussion of just such things
formed the major part of an address
made by DIR. Clegg this morning
before the international Congress
of Ophthalmology, meeting in d.
A. r. Hall.
y DR.. Clegg indicated that many
persons labor under an Illusion that
their eyesight is bad when they
see things twice. He pointed out
that there are many patients whom
it is impossible to convince that
two pairs of glasses can be made
exactly alike.
i've had cases where have
prescribed glasses, ordering two of
the same kind" he said, Yet the
patient has come back to me and
complained that the glasses are
different. It's nothing more than
Imagination"
The cure of patients Of this sort
can only come by the method of
suggestion. il was pointed out.
Various treatments for different
ailments of the eye, some of them
new. were discussed at length in
papers read today. Among those
who addressed the congress today
were DR.. s. Gemblath, OF Paris:
Prof. G. f. Finlay, of Madrid; and
DR.. s. Lewis Ziegler. Of Philadel-
phia.
Visits to scientific demonstrations
at the Army Medical Museum are
on this afternoons program. To
night an evening session will be
held at ID. A. r. Hall Addresses
will he made by Prof. s. p. Whit
nall, of McGill University, Montreal.
and Prof. NJ. G.. Guyer. University
of Wisconsin.
The Washington times., 1922-04-26
SECRETARY DAVIS URGES
MORE PAY FOR POLICEMEN

The work of the police was lauded
last night and higher pay was ndvo-
Gated for them by speakers who at
tended the entertainment and ball
given by the Policemen's Association
at Pythian Hall.
Secretary Of Labor Davis, the prin-
cipal speaker, said the public can i'll
afford to underpay such an impor-
tant body of it's servants. Not only
was a living wage advocated, but a
saving wage as well. He reminded
the bluecoats that they must live an
orderly life II they hope to have good
health and wish to succeed.
Congressman Frank Murphy of
Ohio, Odell s. Smith and c. l.. Dal.
rymple also advocated better pay for
the policemen.
Following the speechmaking, re-
freshments were served.
About 500 policemen, with their
wives, sweethearts and friends,
crowded the hall.
The Washington times., 1922-04-26
FLINT, M|CH., IS
MODERN UTOPIA,
SAYS PLAINTIFF
Woman Asks Court Aid to
Compel Husband to Allow
Her to Go There.
Observation-Disclosures!

Discovered-Paradis
Located in Michigan. Flint is the
name OF the town. Flint by name,
but "cinch" in reality.
In Flint a person can live for less
than two-thirds OF what 1t costs in
Washington. Rent hogs are un-
known factors. Houses with three
bedrooms can be rented for $26 a
month.
Mrs. Agnes B. Carpenter, who
lives at 230 Upshur street northwest.
painted glowing picture OF the
charms OF Flint today in District Su'
preme Court.
She wants to go back there to
live, but her husband. Elmer b. Car
penter, who is a $4,000-a-year audi
tor in the Internal Revenue Bureau,
says nothing doing, according to the
woman.
! She filed a petition today to re.
quire her husband to show cause
why the court should not pass an
order permitting her to move to
Flint with her children.
In April, 1919. Carpenter sued his
wife for a limited divorce, and Mrs.
Carpenter month later entered a
cross bill against him. the court
/ dW ullb sEV .
She declares she has found 1t ALSO.
| lutely impossible 10 live on 5000 "A
month and maintain her family, and
has. therefore. been compelled TO
rent two OF the three bedrooms in
her home. for which she receives $50
month. which, however, makes II
necessary for herself and her five
children to sleep in one room. Her
! husband, alleges the wife, is now
! $3.50 alimony in arrears and Is max
| ing no efforts to pay the same.
Mrs. Carpenter declares her hus'
band has visited his children during
the past year only about six or eight
! times. and believes he does not care
! for them. She says she has an offer
/ to sell her house. which will help her
| to take up her residence in Flint,
where she has been supervisor in the
public schools. which, she says, are
/ splendid and offer fine educational
facilities equal or superior TO those
| of the District of Columbia.
The Washington times., 1922-04-26
What's Doing Today
and TOMORROW

Dinner-The Civitan Club. City Club
y. m. -
Meeting-The Anthony League. at 2oO7
Columbia road. 3 p. m.
Classes-Southeast Community Center
Eleventh and streets southeast, to.
night: The Levisthan Athletic Club
classes.
Glasses East Washington Center
Seventh and G streets southeast, to-
night: Millinery, library, Girls Ep-
worth A. C.. Mems Epworth A. c., sew
Ing machine use.
Tomorrow.
Meetins-The Dominican Lyceum, al
sos Seventh street southwest, $3.50 y. m
open Forum-Women's City Club, 21
Jackson place northwest. p. m, led
by DR.. Winifrcd Richmond and Mrs. n
Thomas West.
Meeting-kit Carson Post, No. >, De-
psrtment OF the @. A. r., at the Grand
Army Hall, 1I2 Pennsylvania avenue
northwest. y. m.
MeetinE-The Mothers Club. at the
Rsndsle Highlands School, q o. m.
Address by Mis- Clara BurrouEh. on
Music Appreciation"
The Washington times., 1922-04-26
CANCER EXPERT SPEAKS
TO D. c. ORGANIZATION

DIR. Charles A. Powers. president
of the American Society for the
Control OF Cancer yesterday ad.
dressed representatives of al. civic
organizations in this city. all WON.
ems organizations and the medical
department OF the army and navy,
at the Medical Society building.
The meeting had been called to
lay before the organizations prelimi-
nary plans for the campaign of edu.
cation on cancer prevention which
IL TO he waged In this city next fan.
DIR. Hubert Work. Postmaster Gen.
erai; DR.. James r. Mitchell and Dr.
A. W. Boswell were on the program.
The Washington times., 1922-04-26
$1,000 DAMAGE CAUSED
IN CITY BY SMALL FIRES

Damage estimated at S1.SO0 was
caused yesterday and last night by
series of small fires, which kept
firemen on the jump.
The most serious damage was
caused when a shed at Carroll and
Cedar streets. Takoma Park, ID. c.,
became ignited. The damage is esti-
mated at 1000.
Ada Butler, colored, forty-five
years old, 445 Kings court northwest,
was slightly burned when she at.
tempted to extinguish fire at her
home last night. The explosion OF a
lamp was the cause OF the blaze.
She refused hospital treatment.
The Washington times., 1922-04-26
BOSTON
EXPERTS s PLAN
ON D. c. HOUSING
Members Protest Mrs. Helmick
Giving Out Landlords Side
BY n. R. Brigham.

Does Harry r. Brigham, OF Bos-
ton, represent the sentiment OF the
housing committee of Washington
when he makes a fight for the rent
hogs, profiteers and land hogs OF the
District?
Should Mr.. Brigham, representa-
tive Of the National Real Estate
Board and self-styled expert advisor
TO the committee, be permitted to re-
main as a member of the committee?
Should written statements by
Brigham defending rent hogs OF
Washington be given out to The
press by Mrs. Eli A. Helmick, chair
man Of the whole committee?
These are the questions that will
be asked if Mrs. Helmick will call
for a general meeting of the COM
mittee which Frank X. Nebeker.
member of the committee, declared
today he would demand.
The entire committee should have
a say in matters of this kind, Mr..
Nebeker said. Before such state
ments are given out for publication,
even though they represent only the
views of one member, they should
first be passed on by the entire body.
Several members of the committee
have threatened TO resign because of
the activity of Brigham and the pub
lication of his defense of landlords
here.
Capt. julius I. Peyser has Cha(
lenged Brigham to a public debate,
and says he will prove that nothing
Brigham said in his statement was
true.
Other members have agreed to
take no steps toward quitting the
committee until the entire body has
had an opportunity TO meet and
thrnch th.. 20 fiIllN
The Washington times., 1922-04-26
TWO CHILDREN FOUND
RUNNING STILL IN FLORIDA

Women's skirts are shielding vio
lators of the pr hibition laws in Flor.
ida, State Director Allen today in.
formed Prohibition Commissioner
Roy A. Haynes.
Children are used by bootleggera
TO make deliveries, reported Director
Allen, and women are employed TO
feign Illness in order to obtain doc
tors liquor prescriptions, which are
marketed after being altered.
"A nice-looking young lady only
sixteen years DID," said Director Al.
len. and her brother. only thirteen
years old, were running a l2b-sallon
still, which we raided."
The Washington times., 1922-04-26
Sign on Howard street. Bal
timore, which ought to make
mothers happy:
KIDS WASHED. 25 CENTS.
HIT. X.
,IMERICKING THE CONTRusS.

LIMERICKING THE CONTRIlsS.
"BACHELOR" wants to write
some limericks about contribs of
the column, and we'll give him a
free hand. He starts off with
these:
Food for thought are works Of
FRED VETSTER.
To digest, and to study, each let
ter.
I say but what 1 should,
There may be others as good.
But I'm sure there are very few
better.
All hall to our budding poet,
Who styles himself Near Laurel"
lie deserves credit. a lot.
For his DandeliOn and MargOt.
And more like them l hope we will
get.
Here's something you may have
heard.
HEZ PERKINS, the wise bird.
To be up TO the minute
Hez gotta be In II
Cause his is always "THe last
Word"
The Washington times., 1922-04-26
TENT CITY
SOLUTION
IS VETOED
Cell, Wing of Old Workhouse
May Be Renovated as Tenn
porary Quarters.

Forty prisoners at the District
Jail slept on the floor last night.
Crowded all winter beyond the
natural capacity of the institution,
the Jail now has a greater popula-
tion than it has ever had, with the
possible exception of the period
during and Immediately following
the race riots Of three years ago.
Situation Serious.
The average daily population dur
ing the month Of March was 232.
The report for the month of April
will show an increase over that
number.
Pallets made or mattresses and
quilts laid on the concrete floors
furnish beds for the overflow.
With the approach of the hot
weather season a serious situation
faces the District.
Commissioner Cuno Rudolph, who
has supervision over the Jail has
frowned on the proposal to have
q tented city on some of the va
cant lots in the vicinity of the jail
for prisoners for whom no beds
are available. The expense OF
guards and the danger Of having
too many escapes Is one of the
reasons advanced.
Capt. w. L. Peake, superinten-
dent Of the Jail. stated today that
IL would probably become necessary
to disinfect and renovate one of the
cell wings of the old workhouse,
two blocks from the jail and equip
It for the overflow of prisoners.
One of the cell wings has been
razed. but the remaining structure
could be utilized as an annex TO
the Jail, it is said.
With the addition of the old work
house there would be accommoda
tions for approximately 400 pris
oners. It Is planned, however, 10
raze the entire workhouse building
as soon as the Gallinger Memoria
Hospital, now under construction, is
completed. The hospital covers q
portion Of the workhouse grounds
Report Of Inmates.
The last report on the number OF
inmates in the Jail and the otfenses
against them showed:
For assault, "a; carrying dangerous
weapons. Is; disorderly conduct. 1s
grand larceny. 81; housebreaiing, 16
intoxication, 1871: larceny, q; violat
ing the prohibition law, q, and mis-
cellaneous, 81.
During the month of March 44G
prisoners were received at the jail.
Should the United States Supreme
Court interpret it's recent ruling that
a man cannot be sentenced to hard
labor from Juvenile Court without
first having a grand jury investiga
ton to also include Police Court
cases. another problem will face the
jail.
Such ruling, it is claimed by
local attorneys, would mean thai
most Of the prisoners at the work
house at Occoquan would be returned
to the Jail. Captain Peake says that
he can use about sixty prisoners fol-
doing chores and light work about
the Jail. Beyond that number he
has no place for them nor duties tC
which to assign them.
The Washington times., 1922-04-26
TWENTY DRUG CASES
BEFORE GRAND JURY

The danger Of the ever increasing
drug evil in this city, has d.
termined the police department in
conjunction with the District At
torney's office and agencies OF the
Department OF Justice to make every
effort TO put a stop 10 the Illegal
traffic in narcotics and place those
who are in any shape or manner
connected with IL behind the bars.
The narcotic squal OF the police
department has succeeded during
the past few weeks in rounding up
dope peddlers as well as addicts and
the District Attorneys office has
presented twenty cases to the grand
jury for action, indictments for
which will be returned tomorrow.
The Washington times., 1922-04-26
REBEL CHIEFS OF KANSAS
FIELDS FOR JAIL TERMS

GIRARD, Kans., April 26.-The
rebel" chiefs OF the Kansas coal
fields were ready to begin Jail terms
for violation Of the Kansas industrial
laws here today.
Alexander Howat, deposed head OF
the Kansas coal miners, and August
Dorchy, deposed vice president, ar.
rived this morning to submit to ar
rest. Others of his organization who
had already been arrested and were
in Jail were John Fleming. Hearl
Maxwell, William Titus, James Nc.
llwraith, and r. Il. Foster.
All are under stentence Of year
in jail for Illegally calling strikes.
except Foster. Foster is under Jail
sentence until he agrees to testify
before the industrial court.
The Washington times., 1922-04-26

To-day.
q Koception-The Department OF the
Potomac, Grany Army OF the Repuo
in Grand Army Hall, 100 .. m. Ad-
dress by Gen. Nelson A. Miles.
Meeting-The Rotary Club, election OF
officers New willard Hotel, p. m.
Meeting--The Rhode Island Avenue
Citizens Association, tonight.
MeetinR-Calvary NJ Il. Church.
Fifteenth and Columbia road the Mt.
Pleasant w G. T. u.
Address-Rsbbi Israel Klien, B'nal
Birth vestry rooms, Eighth Street Tenn
pie, tonight
Meeting-Jopps Lodge, Eastern Star.
8s00 Eighth street northwest, 1890 y. m.
Meeting-Tskoma fsrK Baptis
Ladies' Bible Glass, 1914 Blair road,
p. M
Luncheon-The Lions Club, willard
Hotel p. m.
Meeting-The first biennial conven-
tion and silver jubilee OF the National
League Of American Pen Women, Ward
man Park Hotel. today.
Acknowledgements Gypsy Smith. at
Calvary Baptist Church, .. m.
The Washington times., 1922-04-26
JAIL SO CROWDED 40 PRISONERS SLEEP ON CONCRETE FL00F
.SdE!aRD" !!s !!!| .:!l! ..':$!lE!E!kDZ|
w A SHIN GTO M A.
T BILL PRICE

Our fellow townsman, EDWARD
Il. MCLEAN. has taken to golf
ing, and drives u wicked long one
from the tee. He Is taking fro
quent lessons from Hon. "REDS"
D'ARTIGAN, assistant profess
siOnal at the Columbia Country
Club.
Senator THOMAS HEFLIN was
the principal orator ut the charter
night celebration of the new
Lions Club. The motto Of that
club, when civic error Is about
to be committed, Is Roar. Lions.
Roar" We don't know whether
they borrowed the roar from Tom
Heflin or he got II from them.
but we are sure there was somo
roaring.
The unanimous opinion at the
Genoa conference seems to be
that Russia should have American
capital. The Republic Of Liberia
just recently had the same feel
ing. and borrowed S5,O0O.O0O from
the United States Government.
Other nations having the same
feeling will please make appliCa.
tiOns to this column.
Lady ASTOR, who will soon
visit our fair city. chatted for
two hours standing up. That's
no record. and Is beaten nearly
any night by American women
with wall telephones.
Scientists In our midst "are
convinced that the human race
Is as old as the first ice age"
but they don't know how long ago
the ice age was. The American
Ice Company seems to be con-
Cealing all the facts. We don't
think SAM KIMBERLY. manager
Of the American Ice COmpany's
local office. should hold out on the
scientists.
The Washington times., 1922-04-26
MRS. LOGAN IS HOST TO
LOYAL LEGION DANES

Delegates to the convention of the
National Society of the Danes of the
Loyal Legion will be entertained to-
night at the home of Mrs. John A.
Logan. The delegates were received
at the White House yesterday by
Mrs. Harding.
The convention of the society
opened In Continental Memorial Hall
yesterday. Reports Of State presl.
dents were read and addresses made
by Maj. Gen. John l.. Glenn and Will
lam Tyler Page.
The Washington times., 1922-04-26
A SYMIAN STEW.
UBY NEAR LAURET.)

Billy Bryan went TO the 700,
Saw a great big hippo and sacred
Zebu
All down the line
Beasts looked fine,
But the monkeys, ah. sacre dieu!
Bill went into a tit.
Quick, commenced to writ,
Avast evolution.
Darwin's institution
Should he in the lowest pit.
II is a very great sin
To claim a simian as kin,
4 great long tail.
Ears like a snail,
No! No. Bill shivers within.
We 60 to st. Peter, above
Our ancestors, there to love.
Wouldn't you faint.
When a simian saint,
Said, you're my own turtle dove"
The Washington times., 1922-04-26
FOOD PR|CES|N
C|TYDROP apo.
WITHIN 80 DAYS
Cost Of Living, However, Is so
Per Cent Higher Than in
1913, Figures Show.

Food prices in Washington have
decreased per cent within the past
thirty days, according 10 compilation
of figures by the Department Of
Labor on the cost OF living.
The present cost OF retail food in
Washington shows a decrease of IS
per cent compared with a year ago.
This is the glad news of the depart
ment. but just 10 prove the old adage
that somebody must take the JOY
out OF life" the department adds
that. even with the decreases the past
year, food prices are today so per
cent higher here than they were in
January, 1918.
Within the past sixty days all farm
food products have shown a gain OF
approximately ga. per cent, attrib.
uted, the department says, TO ad-
vances in wheat. barley, corn, hogs,
sheep, lambs and poultry.
In all other groups decreases in
retail prices have been recorded
ranging from one-half OF per cent
for building materials to 3l9 per cent
for foods. These figures are based
on reports from fifty-one cities.
Decline i'm 81 Cities.
OF these cities, scattered through
out the States, Bridgeport, Conn,
shows the largest decline in food
prices. approximately 10 per cent.
Denver and Savannah registered .;
Boston. Fall River, Providence and
Salt Lake City, s, while more than a
dozen show a decline of Z and 6 per
cent. In all of the fifty-one cities
each one showed a decline, the lowest
being New Orleans. with l per cent.
Other commodities show a slight,
but encouraging" tendency to
travel down grade. Clothing slipped
per cent; fuel and lighting ma
terials 2 per cent. For the newly
weds. the glad news is that they
can buy their household furnishings
per cent cheaper now than they
could last month.
Eggs Away Down.
There is nothing, however, to
gladden. the lives of District motor
lists. True the figures show a de-
cline of little over / per cent in
tires, lubricating oils and some ac-
cessories, but the real fly In their
ointment is the announcement,
made simultaneously with the De
partment's living cost figures, of
the Standard Oil that gas is up
from 2 to cents per gallon. On
top of this, over the horizon, looms
the reciprocity tax" of cents
per gallon.
The departments conclusions for
q real wallop at the IL. c. OF l..
is to exist on eggs, which show a
decline of 81 per cent, and regis
tered the largest decline in prices.
With the old gas wagon stored in
the barn, an egg diet, and last
wears clothes, the department
figures you can live about 40 per
cent cheaper this month than you
could last.
The Washington times., 1922-04-26

DO you know how to select. fur.
nish and maintain home so as to
get the greatest convenience. com.
fort and pleasure out Of IL? Watch
for THE HOME BEAUTIFUL SUP
PLEMENT Of the Washington Times
Sunday morning.
The Washington times., 1922-04-26

Watch for the HOME BEAUTI.
FUL SUPPLEMENT Of The Wash
ington Times Sunday morning. II
win be instructive, comprehensive,
helpful and valuable.
The Washington times., 1922-04-26

All present or prospective home
owners should read THE HOME
BEAUTIFUL SUPPLEMENT Of The
Washington Times Sunday morning.
II will be replete with helpful. prac.
tical and valuable suggestions.
The Washington times., 1922-04-26
ALEXANDRIA'S JR. CHAMPS.

]. r. HEWITT advises us that
the Crystal Athletic Club, of Alex
andria, Va, compose the Junior
champions Of that city:
G ornell
II owland
Ba Y liss
: nellings
S T over
II A ives
A. l. ludlow
DA wson
T aylor
ii ewitt
r. l. ludlow
p Il arson
Smoa T
OF Is
G ockrell
Lea G hman
l. ash
Str u der
Is i'll Mills
Jack-See that man? He land
ed I'm this country with two bare
feet, and now he's got millions.
JIMMY word! He must be
regular centipede. i
DUKE WAGNER.
The Washington times., 1922-04-26
COLORADO MUSIC.

c. Il. PARONI. column fan now
at Colorado Springs, Col, draws
this part Of parade he recently
saw marching down Tejohn street.
Colorado Springs, the other day: