The Missouri herald., 1922-04-28
@ 265i$$jiFS%;;(|e| 6$$FS%; o.

eN
Peg Pounds has employed Attorney Sknem to prosecute
Fudge Rucus for shooting him the Friday Peg lost
his left leg when freight train nap
ping the rightoway March Little River
BRIDGE he having down there to fish and drink snake
medicine. It's pity his appetite for "whte mule wasn't
also amputated but it not would take something
than being by freight train separate Peg his
love for liquor Last Friday Peg visited the Coonree saloon
in the alley back of Gar street proceeded up
usual in contempt of the Vosead Peg home
but the road crooked he couldn't follow
down log and went to Sleep Soon he fell and his
wooden leg stuck by the log like snag Along a
woodpecker and lt what appeared piece dead
timber The woodpecker the wood few raps with his
BILL Bout that time Fudge Rucu along his gun his
shoulder and hearing the woodpecker peckng bazed
and bored hole through Pegs leg. don't know what
Fudge defense will be- but would plead guilty
as the hole in Pegs leg just fits bullet size gun shoots
and besides Wnkeye Wiggley eyewitness to the
tragedy
Rev. Billie Saturday asks devirdden city ever
awaken We would call Bills attention the fact that where
as under prohibition only one saloon in this neck
of the woods have fourteen White factories on
Gar street alone and he would along time about
midnight he wouldn't think people slept
sleep with about fourteen fights in progress
same e and as last as one breaks breaks down two
start to take the place of city awake! Man. YOU
don't know what you're talking about
These people who have folded their arms complacenv
upon their gzzards closed their optics breath
for Owl City and the News to shuttle off oblivion have
found that they have reckoned without their host
ginning to wigge and squirm the increasing proof that
Owl City and the News thinking departing The
climate here excepting for the gnats comfortable
enough for and besides took three yester
day subscription, have bought gallon gna oil and laid
i'll a fresh stock of nice obituaries.
Brass Tinhorn says he's going town. We can in
form him that not single citizen of Owl City put anything
that looks like obstacle in his way comes mon
keyng (we hope lawyer friends of Charlottesville haven't
copyright on that useful word)-f he monkeyng"
round our place again, we trying to sell
o stock he is than likely find himself going out
town with load of buckshot fired from office shotgun
bringing up his rear
Poor dumb furnishes lots of fun for the bad
bad boys Last Friday longlegged dog came by our office
at twoorty gait, We wondered why he in
hen we saw Roamish candle fastened to his tail squirting
blaze OF red fire fifty yards long, that sufficient
son for the dogs unusual activity That might be good
thing to apply to town marshal, Josh Dooittle.
Mutt Squezem will have to do two things at the same
time this spring do He has promised marry
widows and somehow got his dates Mixed promising
the ladies to at two different places at the time
Candidy don't how Mutt going get away
Turnpike Thompson arrived in town Friday evening It'll
strikes that Turnpike has either been arriving depart
ing from town all the winter and spring and he generally
rides White need ask him to take off
his hat and stay while-we refer to the Mule.
Dank Undershade is out with his regular spring an
nouncemen that he has quit making White Mule for good
But spring promises like spring rogheres depend
ence in which way they will jump.
The editor of The Cayroot Gazoote says he aborng
make the world better He will fail because he didn't
at home first.