davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1922-02-02

Catherine Eyler was standing at the
candy table in the lower hall when
Carroll Creager came down the hall,
hit her on the back, turned and ran up
the steps. One of the grade children
who stepped into the hall just in time
to see this performance said, "Just see
how those High School kids carry on"
English Teacher: About whom are
we studying today? meaning Bret
Hart)
Freshie: l think it's Hearst.
English Teacher: You're getting
warm; it begins with H.
Mr.. Brechbill: Eloise, decline idem
in the plural.
Eloise: Eat EN-?
Mr.. Brechbill Do you like them?
Mr.. Trundle: Whose guineas are
those in that yard?
John Jones: My grandmother's.
Mr.. Trundle: Some of them are
faded-what funny color.
John: Oh that's the natural color.
Spooney and O'Connor are commercial
men,
They write all day with a nice little
pen.
One is short and one is tall,
One is smart-but that Is all.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1922-02-02

Pete: What does SOLITARY" mean?
Russell: Why that's. game of
cards.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1922-02-02

English Teacher: Stanley, what is
a coquette?
Stanley: Something you eat made
out of left-overs.
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1922-02-02

English Teacher: About whom are
we studying today? meaning Bret
Catoctin clarion. [volume] (Mechanicstown, Md.) 1871-1940, 1922-02-02

Miss Mccartney: (In the dug
storey Say, need spoon.
Pete Foreman: alright. I'll be
down after supper.
Belt Valley times. [volume] (Armington, Mont.) 1894-1977, 1922-01-12
Help lNvALIDS TO FORGET
Presence of Canary or Goldfish In
the Sickroom Invariably Has
Beneficial Effect.

Next time you sit In a room, the
furnishings of which include a bowl
Of goldfish, consider how much time
you spend watching the small fish as
they swim slowly about or TART about
IN pursuit of each other.
Probably you VIII conclude you
we're INDUCING the usual tendency of
The normal person to be attracted to
moving objects. In sick persons and
convalescents this tendency is more
pronounced, and in the aged and very
young ii is still more so.
That psychology of this attraction
was given by DR.. Edward N. Leavy,
formerly veterinarian to the animals
In Central park zoo. He is now con-
.aeeted with a Fifth avenue pet-stefe.
sick persons lying in bed spend a
great deal of time watching the gold
fish II an aquarium is In their ro0m."
he said. "It takes their minds of
their pains and aches and is very ben
efcial."
Canaries share with goldfish the
honor of being the chief animate en-
tertainment to the sick.-New York
Sun.
Belt Valley times. [volume] (Armington, Mont.) 1894-1977, 1922-01-12
|Skin Tortured Babies Sleep|
Mothers Rest
| After Cuticura
So.p zse. 0imt.sni rs and soc, Tale.n zse-
The Wrong Foot.

From a telegram recently received
by the district superintendent of an
Indian railway from a Babn station
master: Coming on duty early lnfne
morning clad In my new and white uni
form | perceived a man seated on a
box In a naked and aggressive manner.
Taking him TO be an ordinary pas
senger, | proceeded TO slap him. where
upon he hastily arose. unlocked the
said box. clad himself in a policeman's
uniform he took thereout and arrested
me. The shoe is thus situated on the
erroneous peddle. Please arrange
London Morning Post.
Belt Valley times. [volume] (Armington, Mont.) 1894-1977, 1922-01-12
Natures Supreme Wisdom.

IL II we're not for the check that win
ter fnterposes. vegetation would
climb skyward until VIZ had tropica,
jungles and flowers high In the branch
es OF the forest, instead OF vioIets anc
daisies. and Iady's-slipper orchids. Al
1t Is. the years tender growths decay
In the wet and cold of winter. furnish
shelter 10 the seeds of grasses anc
small woodland plants. and 30 foster
a new growth for the coming of spring
Even in decay there Is 4 purpose; In
nature always there Is a new begin
ning.-Youth's Companion.
Belt Valley times. [volume] (Armington, Mont.) 1894-1977, 1922-01-12

A process has been discovered
whereby old leather can be converted
into gelatin. Such transformation Of
fers a ready way of utilizing many ar
ticles after their value TO every one
but the junk man appears to be gone
Since head coverings are sometimes
made of leather, IL would appear that
at least the man confident that his
candidate viii win In an election may
literally back up his confidence with
the time-honored promise that he win
eat his hat In the event that his man
loses.
Belt Valley times. [volume] (Armington, Mont.) 1894-1977, 1922-01-12
cities a. Thunderstorm spots.

The conclusion has been reached by
a weIl-known engineer who hns given
the subject considerable attention
that certain cities. IL not indeed most
inland cities OF say 100000 population
or more, appear to be thunderstorm
spots" The observation has been
made by r.. X. Horton. of Voorhees,
Vile, N. T.. who also points out that
"a shallow lake with sandy margins
located In a forest may serve as a
thunderstorm breeder" and cites as
proof observations made by him
over Oneida lake, New York.
Belt Valley times. [volume] (Armington, Mont.) 1894-1977, 1922-01-12

In Liverpool fEng.) there still exists
one of the very few remaining medi-
eyai borough courts of record. AT one
time there were 215 In various parts
of the kingdom. The Liverpool court
of passage. as II is called. has prac-
tically unlimited jurisdiction In caus-
es Of action arising within the city,
and has more power than has the City
of London court which has jurfsdic.
ton only when the defendant ls en-
ployed In the city itself.
Belt Valley times. [volume] (Armington, Mont.) 1894-1977, 1922-01-12
National Emblema.

The rose, England's national flower,
was chosen as the country's symbol al
the close of the War of the Roses
The shamrock is firmly Embedded In
Irish hearts because st. Patrick uset
II to illustrate one OF his M
.rhe thistle was adopted as the ma
tional emblem OF Scotland because
in the reign Of Malcolm ii. a moai
filed with thistles saved a Scotch fort
TESS from Danish invasion.
Belt Valley times. [volume] (Armington, Mont.) 1894-1977, 1922-01-12

use this letter as q testimonial.
STELLA NEWTON, R. r. g. Portland,
Indiana.
Mothers-You should carefully guard
your daughters health. Advise her OF
the danger which comes from standing
around with cold or effect fromlifting
heavy articles, or o~verworking. Donot
let her o~verstudy.
Ii she complains Of headache, pains In
back orlower limbs, or If you notice .
slowness Of thought nervousness or t.
ritability on the part Of your daughter,
give her careful attention.
Lydia e. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound is an excellent medicine for your
daughter to take, AZ it Is especially
adopted torelieve Just such symptoms.
Remember 1t contains nothing that can
iniure and can be taken in safety.
Belt Valley times. [volume] (Armington, Mont.) 1894-1977, 1922-01-12
NAME "BAYER" is ON
GENUINE ASPIRIN
Take Tablets Without Fear, II You
See the Safety @5aycr
Cross.%

II you want the true. world-famous
Aspirin. as prescribed by physicians for
over twenty-one years. you must ask
Tor "Bayer Tablets OF Aspirin"
The "Bayer Cross" is stamped on
each tablet and appears on each pack
age for your protection against imita-
Observation-Disclosures.
Belt Valley times. [volume] (Armington, Mont.) 1894-1977, 1922-01-12

THAT Tanlac Is Il wonderful med
4 lcine for delicate children is on
-luslvelys proven by the remarkable
results accomplished In the cases Of
the three children shown In this pic
ture.
Little Blanche Blair, of Providence,
Il. l.. age 10, gained 10 pounds; Re
gina McCabe. at right, & D. of
Scranton. Pa, gained Is pounds; lit
tie Richard Leary, Jr., of Philadelphia,
who was very delicate. is now In fine,
robust health. The statements made
by their parents are as follows
Mr.. A. NJ. Blair, residing at 20 At
wood street, Providence, II. L., snid
ave are Just SO happy over the
change Tanlac has made In our little
Girl that
TO show our appreciation. She had
lost nearly 20 pounds IN weight and
looked so frail aud weak that her
mother and | were both almost wor-
ried sick over her condition. Since
taking Tnnlac, she has already gained
10 pounds, her color Is better than II
ever has been and she looks and acts
like a different GIRL"
AlIF. &utit itat NV uVtg a
ems Ave, Scranton, Pa, said; THE
flu left my little Regina In such n
bad condition that have no Idea she
would be with me o IL It hadn't
been for Tanlac. II is a mystery to
me how she lived on the little she
4wAs-eatffg and MIS- % fffereSs SHE
never even cured 10 play with the
dolls and toys she got at Christmas.
Since taking Tanlac she Is as hardy
and well as any child could be and
has gained 10 pounds In weight. l
will always praise TnnIac for restor-
ing our little girls health"
Richard Leary. 2342 P%alethorpe St.
Philadelphia, said: There Is no
doubt in-my-miHd but that 1Taniac
saved my little boys life. For two
years ] wouldn't have been "A bit sur
prIsed TO have seen him drop of at
any time. He had stomach trouble
and many n time the gas pressed up
into his chest until his heart palpi-
Belt Valley times. [volume] (Armington, Mont.) 1894-1977, 1922-01-12

Many examples might be m
ed Of popes who patronized Jewish
physicians. An exception was Pau
Nv, who introduced the Ghetto into
Rome, but at least a score OF popes
seem to have gone out OF their way In
extending friendly recognition to the
medical members OF this races
Belt Valley times. [volume] (Armington, Mont.) 1894-1977, 1922-01-12

The duty Of the poet Is like unto
that of the naturalist 1t ia Z o pursue
and capture those rare specimens of
thought that have hitherto escaped the
hunters net; incase In crysfal-clear
these captive beauties OF ma
ture; and offer them. mid the Wild
flowers of their native haunts. for the
admiration. reverence and love Of all
mankind.
Belt Valley times. [volume] (Armington, Mont.) 1894-1977, 1922-01-12
Honest Paris.

A black satchel containing $4,000
In cash vas found on the seat of a
Paris omnibus one morning recently.
writes a correspondent. II had been
forgotten by a bank messenger. who
was greatly relieved TO find that the
conductor Of the omnibus had duly de-
livered It to the lost property office.
where II lay among umbrellas and odd
gloves awaiting reclamation.
Belt Valley times. [volume] (Armington, Mont.) 1894-1977, 1922-01-12

WOQiQ O4bcil bAfV ~
lie down because Of
pains. One Sunday
my aunt was visiting
M and she said her
took Lydia E
Vege-
Compound and
got well, so mother
said she guessed abe
let me tryit~ II
Is doing me good and
i praise it highly.
You are welcome TO
Belt Valley times. [volume] (Armington, Mont.) 1894-1977, 1922-01-12

In New York's streets there mar
be counted hundreds of signs that
read MATCHMAKER" Yet perhaps less
than a dozen of such concerns could
make a watch.
Belt Valley times. [volume] (Armington, Mont.) 1894-1977, 1922-01-12

The secretary-This speech may get
you into trouble
The HonorabIe-Then you had better
prepare a statement saying that was
~misquoted by the newspaper.-Life.
Belt Valley times. [volume] (Armington, Mont.) 1894-1977, 1922-01-12

One isn't troubled much by the laws
against violence II he isn't trouble
some.
Belt Valley times. [volume] (Armington, Mont.) 1894-1977, 1922-01-12

Misery loves company. but the COM
psny isn't APT 10 make a second cnli.
Belt Valley times. [volume] (Armington, Mont.) 1894-1977, 1922-01-12
GIRL HAD
PAINFUL TIMES
Mothers-Read This Letter
and Statement Which
Follows

Portland, Indiana--'T was troubled
with irregularity and constipation and
Belt Valley times. [volume] (Armington, Mont.) 1894-1977, 1922-01-12

Now is the time TO do things: by
and by is the time TO do nothing.
Belt Valley times. [volume] (Armington, Mont.) 1894-1977, 1922-01-12

We can always see what constitutes
. square deaf when u interests are
not involved.
Belt Valley times. [volume] (Armington, Mont.) 1894-1977, 1922-01-12

Easy 10 see th.ough-the people who
make spectacles of themselves.
Belt Valley times. [volume] (Armington, Mont.) 1894-1977, 1922-01-12
cusIcura Comforts Baby's skin

cuticurs Comforts Baby's skin
When red, rough and itching, by hot
baths of CutIcura Soap and touches Of
Cuticura Ointment. Also make use
low and then OF that exquisitely scented
busting powder. Cuticura Talcuni. one
of the Indispensable Cuticura Toilet
Observation-Disclosures.
Belt Valley times. [volume] (Armington, Mont.) 1894-1977, 1922-01-12

The crooked path is longest.
Belt Valley times. [volume] (Armington, Mont.) 1894-1977, 1922-01-12

The effect of TanInc on the dell
cate stomachs OF the young Is n OF
the strongest evidences of Its whole
omenes as well ns it's unusual
merit. Although a powerful recon
structive, Tanlac contains no harm.
ful ingredients, minerufs or opiates
which are so often found In other
medicines. Being composed OF the
most beneficial roots and herbs
known 10 science II Is purely vege-
table and can be taken by the most
delicate children, and does not upset
or injure the weakest or most deli
cate stomach.
There is a Tanlac agent In every
wn.-Adyertlsement
Belt Valley times. [volume] (Armington, Mont.) 1894-1977, 1922-01-12

There's no use In running II you're
not on the right rond.
Belt Valley times. [volume] (Armington, Mont.) 1894-1977, 1922-01-12

tnted so thought sure he couldn't
breathe but "A few more gasps. But
Tafilae gave him bHck 10 us strong
and we'll and we Will praise II to our
.I.- -
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1922-05-19
AUSTRlAnS USERS or ARSENIC
Mountain FOX MAIZE Use Of Deadly
Poison for D oslte Purpose
Also Fed 10 Horses

Inhabitants ~ Austrln, IN the
mountains adjoining Hungary ARE In
the habit ~ eating arsenic. The effect
Of the poison when taken lu moderate
quantities ls tu give o. freshness 10 the
complexion. aud uliprwurd t. lmYuri
certain degree of embOnpOlnt An.
other advantage which tie eaters dc.
rive from the use ~ the poison ls to
have their respiration facilitated In
ascending the mountain. They place
little piece Of arsenic IN their mouth,
aud they ascend the greatest heights
with ease.
Grooms aud coachmcn at Vienna
give arsenic to their horses. They
sometimes throw u pinch ~ II among
the oats. and sometimes tie up u small
biz of II In linen rug, which they
attach 90 the biz when the horse N
harncssed. The effect on the horses
IL 60 put them IN high condition, with
the skin smooth and shining. aud 20
Increase their spirits.
The cnrtcrs IN the mountainous coun.
tries Of Austria are also In the habit
~ giving arsenic 10 their horses when
about 20 ascend n steep road, with the
result that the ascent II made much
easier for the animals.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1922-05-19
MAGPIE A 'FEATHERED FIEND
Writer In New York Evening Post
Draws Up Strong Indictment
Against the Bird.

Although a great lover Of birds,
never grieve when anyone kills a
magpie, Mrs. Frank J. Hazen writes
from Acushnet, Mont, to the New
York Evening Post. From a child,
knew they were thieves, but had to
live on western stock ranch before
realizing they were little demons.
During drought in the Northwest
many animals were horribly tortured
and finally killed by these feathered
fends.
A beast weakened by insufficient
food, lack OF water, old age or any
other cause is pouncod upon by the
magple, which pcrchcs on its back in
place out of reach Of the victims
tail, and then begins to literally eat
the poor brute alive.
Two Incidents Cune under my own
observation. We had an old horse out
at pasture that we valued for the
work she had done. After time we
discovered that the mHgpics were
working on her and had already
made terrible sore on the poor crea.
ture Just above her shoulder We put
her In the corral to give her extra feed
and wash and treat the sore. To our
astonlshment the mugpips still kept
after her. They seemed to know we
would not dare shoot NJ them when
they were on the back of the horse for
fear of killing her Time after time
we tried to get them when dying to
and from their dreadful feast but
their instinct told them, apparently,
when we were armed and when the
gun was out Of reach, 80 they always
managed 10 escape. At last we were
obliged to keep the horse In the barn
until the sore healed. II was the only
way she could get rid of her tormen.
tors.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1922-05-19
This Smoker Never sick.

All pipe smokers know the deslr.
ability of a tobacco mixture the smoke
of which will not bite the tongue or
be too hot In the mouth, Mixtures Of
this kind are what manufacturers are
always seeking.
In London (Eng) an apparatus has
been put into use for the testing OF
smoking tobacco for these qualities.
obvlatlng the usual method of per,
sonal trial by an expert. II looks like
a telephone box. fastened on a wall,
Including the wiring, A pipe is loaded
with tobacco and the stem inserted In
a rubber encircled hole In the box. A
switch Is turned. the tobacco Is llt.
aud the electric machine In the box
smokes the pipeful az any rate OF
speed required. making record OF
the temperature and Nicotine content
of the smoke
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1922-05-19
Artist Vision.

II II as though man were shown
crystal, n perfect thing, cleaning
below depths ~ water. fnr down he
yond reach, lie would dive and dive
again. driven by his great desire "a
secure H. until finally, all dripping,
he brought Il up, iut that In the end
he could bring II, u perfect thing, 90
us, was possible solely because he
had first seen II cleaning there.
Others might dive ana dive might
work and labor with endless patience
and endless pains, but unless they had
hrst seen the crystal unless they
had been given this divine gift of
seeing ylslon-they would come
up empty'handed,
The occasional so-called genius does
not make the crystal hut he alone sees
Il where II lles cleaning below depths
of water. and by his EFFORT brings II 10
us.-Abb0tt Henderson Thayer.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1922-05-19
Expensive Spanking.

A bloomfield, Iowa. woman while
talking 10 her husband over the long
distance from a booth In that city
was repeatedly interrupted by her llt
tie son, lie made so much noise and
became SO unruly that she left the
receiver on the hook, grabbed the
youthful offender by the arm aud took
him 10 the hall where she gave him "a
regular old-fashioned spanking She
then returned 10 the booth aud com
pleted the conversation without the
least Interruption, Al the finish she
became very angry because Of the
charge Tor overtime, aud Insisted that
the time she spent spanking be de
Quoted from the charge.-The North
western Rvll.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1922-05-19
Remarkable Old Bsll-fs

Since the age of legend, thunder
aud lightning making hns always been
made the hnal proof ~ the supcrnat'
ural. Thor and his huge hammer.
which accounted for the thunder To
the old Norsemcn. and Joye or Jupiter,
who hurled his lightning and thun'
der In anger and thus explained this
natural phenomenon Co the old Greeks
aud Romans. ARE only two OF the
hundreds of instances Ia ancient be-
lief
In later times the brand ~ mngl
elan and evil doer was put upon many
nlrhemlsts. with rumors that splitting
tongues VI hre and crashes ~ thunder
were seen and heard In their labora'
tories
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1922-05-19
Key 20 1axp,l,n nl.ronlxphle,

The Rosetta stone. one of the most
celebrated archaeological discoveries OF
modern times, II famous for being the
key whereby the decipherment OF the
Egyptian hieroglyphIcs was made pos.
sihle. II was found In iTOa near Ros
eta, Egypt. by an officer of engineers
In the French army, which was then
In occupation " that country.
The stone II a slab Of black basalt.
aud bears an inscription In honor Of
rtolemy Eplphanes, written In three
languages GFesk, dsmotlc aud hierO.
glyphic. As the three inscriptions are
~ Identical Significance. the Greek
made easy the decIphering of the
others.
Vnlil the discovery OF the stone
archeologlsts had no key 10 Egyp.
tian hieroglyphics. but since that
time all ~ Egypts sculptured iitera.
ture has been read with ease and
much valuable information given to
the world.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1922-05-19
TWO DAYS ONLY
No Charge for Consultation

DR. Mcllenthin is regular
graduate in medicine and surg.
cry and is licensed by the state
pf Oregon. lie visits profession
ally the more important towns
and cities and offers 10 all who
call on this trip free consultation
except the expense of treatment
when desired.
According TO his method Of
treatment he does not operate
for chronic appendicitis, gall
stones, ulcers of the stomach, ton.
silS or adenoids.
lie has 10 his credit wonderful
results in diseases of the stOm-
ach, liver, bowels, blood, skin,
nerves, heart, kidney, bladder,
bed wettmg, ,cataarh, weak lungs
rheumatism. sciatica, leg ulcers
and rectal ailments.
III you have been ailing for any
length of time and do not get
any better, do not fail 10 call, as
improper measures rather than
disease are very often the cause
of your long standing trouble.
Remember above date, that con-
sultation on this trip will be free
and that his treatment is differ
ent.
Married women must be ac-
companied by their husbands.
Address $50 Boston Block,
Minneapolis, MINI.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1922-05-19
Keep IN. esby ouis, a, nioh,.

Getting up In the night 10 quiet an
uneasy baby IL not the joke that some
comic writer's represent II TO be. A
young husband discovered this In case
~ his hrst.bUrn and the means he
took 10 overcome the difficulty won
him prize In u contest In new uses
for electricity.
The only means OF duleting this
baby. who was aIllng. was to move
him NJ aud down, gently. In the low.
er pnrt " the crib the father fastened
the motor ~ n discarded electric fan.
From small pulley ON the motor he
run n belt 10 larger pulley on n
short shnfl. NJ the other end of which
he rugged crank. Then he extended
u connecting rod to the center " the
frnmr that supported the springs and
mattress
The motor, when started. moved
springs. mattress and baby up and
down about nh inch. smoothly gently
aud regularly. II proved entirely suit
lrfnciury a. the baby. who IN row
one year old. healthy and happy, and
be- Inns never got his pnrcnts out ~
bed NJ night since the apparatus was
Installed,
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1922-05-19
Resolutions

lnasmuch as death has called
from our midst, Mr.. Iichty, one
OF the most prominent and zeal.
GUS members of our body, God 4
will being done, and having in
never failing memory his splen-
did character, public spirit and
has love for God and man.
Be IL Therefore Resolved. That
this University Park Community
Club hereby record its profound
sorrow because of his passing
and our appreciation of him as a
model citizen and AN example To
young and old.
And be il Further Resolved.
That the Secretary be directed
70 send a copy of these resolu.
tions 10 the esteemed widow of
Mr.. Lichty, also that they be
spread on the minutes aud that a
copy be sent 20 the st. Johns Re
view for publication.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1922-05-19

The editor OF a magazine which 1.
published by = New York bus com,
pany ofrers a prize each month for the
best story turned In by an employee
Of the company on any topic pertain,
Ing To company afrairs Here is the
one which won this month;
zone seat ON top and one inside, {"
shouted a bus conductor at a stopping
place.
sure, now, and you wouldn't be
after separatln' a daughter from her
mother" said the elder OF two women
on the sidewalk.
Fright ye are, l would not" said
the conductor, starting the bus Il
did that once an I've been regrettin'
Il ever since. Cincinnati Times
Star.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1922-05-19

Mrs. Quay died last evening at
o o'clock at her home, GAL North
Central avenue.