davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1922-04-05
SAILING, SAILING"

Now ie the time when all good msn
and a few of 'em true, are counting
the waves between here and Cuba
There's liable to be a lot more Of the
waves coming back than on the way
down. You know. Or haven't YOU
been reading the papers?
We had q war about Cuba lax n
1898. Now ~e know why. Our FIRE
fathers were a far-sighted bunc1
When you start for Cuba or cAs-
points in the Wet, Yeast, Souss O.
Snort Indies just remember tina. tas
ocean IL as reliable az a pair o. E-s-
penders without buttons and taG =
strong constitution is as capahls q
being battered out Of shape al re
United States once was. It took tr-
enteen amendments before we disccy-
cred that the first syllable was ne
only one that counted.
The salty smell is all right but really
smelling salts are better.
Chief trouble with the ocean f. TIA:
it moves around like a bank casas'
playing NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. with :
Sheriffs warrant. Oceans aixzg
always singing Inc cong OF inc Oa.ss'
She loves me, she loves me not.
Get your stomach into shape by ~
ing as backstop for a machine gun a.
rage, or eating sixty-cent table d'.7s
meal in Ptomaine House in CASTE
Center. Get accustomed to ha~I
your head spin by trying to ansTg
questions on income tax blanks.
Take-and-put game was invented
a guy travelling by sea. Maybe r.
think you're q good sailor, but so W
Columbus. But you'll never ind Il
history that when he saw land .
ordered the hags at half mast.
But It isn't fair to say that q 90
trip is like married life because It's 81
ups and downs. Sea trips don't hE
forever. Some marriages don't siths,
They just seem that way.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1922-04-05
TREATIES AND MEN

A treaty is, after all, nothing more
than so much dried Ink on a piece OF
paper, while man is living creature
infused with restless intellectual force.
1t has been too often proven in the
past that they who put their faith In
the power of scratching pen, have
been overwhelmed by those whose am
billions were carried forward through
a knowledge OF how most diplomatic
cally to persuade to their own purposes
the men whose intelligence would ac-
complish their ends.
Even under the best conditions, a
treaty that is not backed by the null
titudes represented in the signatures
attached to it, Is useless.
Peace cannot come through the type
writer or the quill pen. 1t must come
through mankind itself. Little sec
tional hatreds must cease in all prac-
tice.
The employer must learn that he
cannot maintain himself without JUS
tice to the employee, and the employee
must learn that for good days pay
he owes an honest days work for his
employer
People who differ In political or re-
hgious matters must learn that such
things are matters Of degree of inte1li-
gence or perception, even, frequently,
OF heredity or OF environment, and are
causes for personal enmity only to
mean minds.
While there is abroadness which is
so broad that It Is too shallow to con-
tain any depth of thought there is
another broadness which, like the sea,
encompasses all things and all depths.
This is the broadness OF human I'M
Outstanding, of that loving kindness
OF one man to another to which st.
Paul referred when he wrote-"ReJoic-
eth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in
the truth: heareth all things, believeth
all things, hopeth all things, endureth
all things"
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1922-04-05
ONE REEL YARNS
AMT 1T FUNNY

"Ain't It funny" inquired the talka-
tive cousin, ''ain't it funny how Kids
changer
81 donno II It Is or not. Everything
changes, doesn't It? Why shouldn't
we kids change. too?"
well, gee, donno. Anyway. I
was going to tell you about how
Chuck Dickinson changed an awful
lot. See. Chuck and Dave Henderson
were awful good friends. but differ
eht as the dickens-Dave used to
read book after book. and stay home
on Saturdays, even. to read. some
times. But Chuck never read any
thing he didn't just have to.
But that didn't ever stop them
from being, the best kind of friends.
They used 70 take hikes together in
summer, and they belonged to the
same Scout bunch. and monkeyed
around together a lot.
And almost all the time Dave was
trying to get Chuck interested in
reading. He'd tell him all about diff
ferent books and Chuck would listen
to him like he was sorta crazy. or
something. Y'see. Chuck wasn't
much interested in any of that kinaa
stuff, but liked to play baseball and
TERMS and different things He wss
great on sports.
But finally Dave talked Chuck into
reading . Tale OF Two Cities which
10 book by Charles Dickens. D'ja
ever read It? Y'ought to. cause it's
awful good. It tells al about Q fell
low that was s'posed to be . Duke
or something back IN the days before
the French revolution. but wouldn't
do I because he didn't think .hs
French nobility treated the common
people right, so he went TO England.
and got Job teaching peoples kids
French. He got in an awful fn.xup
but was saved from being hanged by
. fellow who looked just like him.
but who was . sort OF bum. And
there's lot of other people mixed
up in it. and It sure Is one OF the best
books ever did read"
Yes. but what's that got 70 do
with Chuck ard Oaver' inquired the
other boy.
''oh. yeah. We'll after reading
this book. CE.aek got 90 he cidn'e do
anything much bit read. and no
talked about looks 10 Dave 30 much
Tkat Dave gOt alex o. reading, and
~31l read anything nov. Kinda
furry, w8sAsx ny
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1922-04-05
How Madss Won LiIIian's Enthusiastic
Approval

@You shouldn't do that Madge."
Lillian Underwood shook her head
at me with laughing disapproyal.
DO what?' asked, bewildered.
@Begin to say something and then
cut IL short. Much better get 1t out
of your system. Tell me how you're
going to manage to meet Harry"
looked at her with the amazement
always feel at her almost psychic
reading of the thoughts OF those about
her. A scheme for accomplishing our
purpose had come into my mind, but
1 had stifled the impulse to tell Lillian
of it, fearing she might think me pre-
sumptuous.
II mean it," Lillian persisted, and 1
fancied there was note of irritation
in her voice at my delay. IF you have
any idea how were going to work 1t
want to hear it."
why, the thought come to me-"
began diffidently, that as Mr.. Under
wood used to be so interested in theat-
ricaI collections"
You wonder child" Lillian ex-
claimed, jumping up from her chair.
"Of course! The very thing! You
mean he will be sure to haunt that
room in the public library where they
are showing that wonderful collection
OF programs and manuscripts, plays
and portraits of the theatrical world"
1 nodded, for 1 had no words with
which to answer her. Her brain works
so fast sometimes that it dazes me. 1t
had needed but the one word from me
to enable her to grasp the complete
scheme.
In another moment she was working
out the details.
"Act Naturally"
Lucky that Harry knows you're a
history shark" she said, referring to
the subject had taught for years. HE
will imagine you're looking up some
thing for an abstruse history Of the
early amusements IN our western CIV
ilization." Her tone held laughing
mockery, but I caught the bitter pm
dertone, knew that this task she was
facing was q heart breaking one to
her.
You'd better get there early in the
morning the day you go. and be very
busily engaged with the more scholarly
part OF the collection-Harry thinks
you're an awful high brow, you know.
Have a notebook, OF course, and don't
send even q glance in his direction un-
til he discovers YOU"
And then what?" asked anxiously,
for this was the question tormenting
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1922-04-05
DIGGING OUT SHEEP

When boys IN more temperate
climates are playing marbles and
hunting for their old baseball bats, the
boys in the Scotch Highlands may
still be helping dig out the buried
sheep.
In the North Of Scotland It snows
q great deal there being nearly as
many snowy'days as in Iceland. After
nights fall Of snow many sheep are
buried in the drifts and have to be
dug out. '--..
Here IL where the sheep-dogs are
useful Some OK them become famous
over whole district for their skill in
finding sheep. The dog goes over the
drifts with his nose Close to the
ground. and listening all the while
very carefully. Whep> he scents q
buried sheep, he decides on the exact
spot beneath which IL IL located. and
then he begins to scratch with al his
might The men who accompany him
turn in and help dig out thS> buried
animal
The shepherds also carry loER poles,
and, walking in a line. they p1Sh
their long poles Though the snow TO
hunt for missing sheep. An expert
enced shepherd can always'te1 by the
touch OF the pole the differences be-
tween the wooliy coat OF sheep and
the heather or YnosA The hunting
with the pole 10 D very. slow way.
however. and Is only used when many
sheep are lost and the dogs are al
busy and unable to handle. the Job
themselves
Hunting for sheep 10 always an ex-
citing business In the Highlands. and
every one Joins a.. The MAJ who
owns a good sheep-doR 10 always will
ing to lend IL to his neiehbor who has
lost some aheep in the great drtftA.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1922-04-05

tory, do we owe the printing press, the
telephone, the telegraph, the wireless,
and all those means by which no soon
er do the thoughts OF men terminate
than they are flashed around the entire
world-not to these men, but to real,
honest to goodness, imaginative and
painstaking inventors, such as Gutten-
berg, Farady, Newcomer, Watt, Sy-
monds, Fulton, Stephenson, Morse,
Marconi, Pasteur, Edison. Langley.
Wright and a thousand others, who
have always stood, and ever will stand
in the very van Of the advancing hosts
of civilization.-Scienti American.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1922-04-05
REVELATIONS OF A WIFE
ADELE cARRIsoN--

me. How was ever to grea- rr.,.
/ Underwood unconcernedly Will
fear of the mans sinister perso1af<-
and my consciousness Of the rave:..
ton Lillian had made 70 me ~ r,
feeling for me?
"Act exactly the way you ,sa 8.
first" Lillian replied promptly Ia
saw that her zeal for the cause a.. T..
serving had enabled her 10 throvl ~
the yoke OF personal feeling ,bs, has
hampered her in formulating II,
concerning her recreant husband &.
was absorbed in the problem befo-s bs-
and was dealing with It as II 2 Ia
stranger was concerned
You detest Harry, and are afrsao.
him." Lillian went on IN the same "A
ously impersonal tone "Thers.1a
you VIII naturally register ave-,tr
and timidity. Then he will bez,- T.
talk TO you, and after a bit in sni.. Il,
yourself, you will experience t5a
uncomfortable, fascinated in,eres. Il
always aroused IN you. Insteai X
lighting even a semblance Of in,s,.lf
in what he is saying, as you aIvs
used to do, compel yourself 70 lit,
tolerance. Make him feel that ne h
been able to lessen your aversion
him by ever so little"
"Your Head Rules"
I'm afraid the hackneyed expression
"staxed at her open-mouthed" is th.I
only one which would fully express m
attitude as her words fell upon m
ears. She had voiced what I hadn
admitted even to my most secret self.
that Harry Underwood had the urcan
ny fascination for me that imagine.
a snake has for e bird. did indeed
"detest and fear" him. but. on the other
hand, had never in my life had l met
man with tho peculiar fascinating
charm he has when he chooses TO .x-
ercise it..
That Lillian knew of this altitude q
mine was a most astounding thing %
me, although I should have GUESSED !,
from my. experience Of hf almos.
clairvoyant intuition. But could.
restrain the hot, burning Hush ths. I
suffused my cheeks.
There's no need for you 70 bus.
ATadge," Lillian said in q adtdly ma
ter of-fact tone that helped ns to =.
gain my pOise. Harry is De Q: tie
most fascinating devils goin4 wasr Is
wants to be. Most women Fnpy lei
him manage them instead ., being
clear headed enough to ma eags hin
Your. head always or nearF GvayS
rules your impulses. my deal
IT'S this quality on VIII ch an
counting in the duel OF wits FOR wh!c.
1 shall help to set the stagef
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1922-04-05
SUGAR COATED PILLS
OF WISDOM
BY Assop, Jr.
THE LION AND THE MOUSE

THE LION AND THE MOUSE
In time Of speed the cop may halt
the motorist.
The holder the hunter, the sooner
the capture.
A little acquaintance may prove a
big friend.
All mice are not in Chop Suey.
In time OF need the weak may help
the strong-moralizes 1.-THE Lion and
the Mouse" of the "Aesop's Film Fab
bles" cycle.
Never speak OF old rope to a man
who gives you new cigars.
The gnawing Of a little mouse may
release a big lion.
Animal ropers, oh SO bold! Beware
when the strands OF the rope grow
old.
The worth OF a good deed may be
repaid with speed.
Even rope must be taught.
--Aesop's Film Fabbles.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1922-04-05
A square deal is a good deal.

D Sharp words don't cut much ice.
%
Low shoes are lower, but still high.
LeAine' is sick; perhaps he is sick
OF his job.
Now is the time for ali good men to
swat the fly.
War left us taxes; but taxes don't
leave us much.
When you get a radio outfit there's
music in the air.
A girl seldom leaves home to get out
OF bad company.
Used cars are all right, unless they
are misused cars.
Practice makes perfect; don't prac-
tice being a fool.
When a man has big head it is
seldom level one.
When a woman looks her best she
finds what she is after.
a cynic thinks that il there is honor
among thieves they stole 1t.
The liking of Siam has 10000 wives.
Bet he hates to go shopping.
A woman can't dress for comfort
and style at the same time.
The main trouble with reformer is
he often becomes a deformer.
o.
This is the time of year that poll
ticians love the American flag.
The only fool bigger than a big
fool is the man who argues with one.
Amateur gardeners are digging in
places where you can't even raise your
voice.
Men like girls who are sweet and
simple, but not girls who are Just
simple.
A Chicago traffic cop was fired for
flirting. The girls just couldn't resist
an officer.
A California cop arrested his wife
for speeding. But just wait until she
gets out again
-
Spring fever and little mony in the
bank are good combination in re-
straint of work.
%
We have read that a weekly ran out
OF Ink some time ago and printed an
entire edition from the office towel
This has nothing on the Connecticut
publisher who printed two thousand
papers with horseflies. He had only
one complaint, a ninety-year old SUBJ
Scriber with poor eyes wrote in for
better copy.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1922-04-05
He Coz II

A business man advertised for an
ONCE boy. The next morning there
were some so boys In line He waa
about TO begin examining the appN-
cants when his stenogra pher handed
him card on which was scrubbed:
Don't do ANYTHING until you aes
me- I'm tho last kid In the Enc, hrS
Tn telling you I'm here with the
goods"
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1922-04-05
How. Why, ana what

what do whales live ont
TIE big whAleoone whale has 20
rmai1 throat tina, II could not swaI-
low other nsh Its food consists Of
little iife-forns found IN the sea. an
sea BUTTERFLIES. The toothea whales
eat any living thing they can each
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1922-04-05

Cricket is not yet the Irish national
game. and they haven't thought much
OF English mutton chops in Dublin
since King Charles was beheaded. Mar
Gus Carney hasn't ratified Ru Klux
Khan. Henry Ford is still against au-
tomobiles--we said automobiles. Ford
owners are against Henry. Costs too
much 10 keep fliyver anu a horse at
the same time, and a fliyver without a
horse Is like horseradish without oy-
sters-just doesn't go right.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1922-04-05

The Papoose
I'm papooss in big happy way
He laugh an run an play all day.
Out on UNI prairie runnin' round,
Rollin urn puppies on uTn ground:
An Cow on out where grass grow
thick
He chase um bowling with urn stick,
Him black eyes bright with keen de-
sire,
For pot Of meat 10 on UNI nra
~ G
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1922-04-05

Volstead, we read, will have hard
time getting reelected. He ought to
poll the bootfeggers' vote.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1922-04-05
r.,.nAy-s euzxls

TnA feuOw1n9 groups Of letters may
lie arranged 70 form words and thar
In turn viii form word scERR9.
Nett avcn. rcve. part.
A-sUers 10 yesterdAyB: colcnA1S.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1922-04-05

A woman has been given 81 in a
breach OF promise suit Evidently her
promise wasn't worth much.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1922-04-05

A man usually gets what he de-
serves in the end, but he gets lot
of good things that ne doesn't deserve
in the meantime.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1922-04-05

There was time when folks thought
wood alcohol and creosote didn't taste
good. But that was before they started
trying modern improvements.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1922-04-05
BACK TO NORMALLY

On January a good resolution looks
like a million bucks. January it's sim
mered down to two weeks pay. BY
January 3 it wouldn't finance a revolu-
ton in Hayti. January it has the
market valuation Of plugged ruble.
The good die young, including resolu-
lions.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1922-04-05

During the war the A. E. F. heard
German. soldiers were eating Fh's
leather while our boys were Teasing
on soidered Bill. So they dashed rnad..
~ across the Rhine. To get SONS @
that shoe leather for chasers.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1922-04-05
visitor Ito negro farr, h.n,

visitor ito negro farm hand: why
burn THAI grass7 7ou'U make the
meadows as black "a you are
FArm hand: DOM sorry ahoat
da:. Cat fraas vii grow aean az rreea
as .oa SAs
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1922-04-05
FABLES

When Aesop's animals are drawn
BY cartoonist Paul Terry,
They tell fable on the screen
In action smart and merry.
-Aesop, Jr.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1922-04-05
Fresh (excitedly>: Father. / passed
Shakespeare to-day"
/. Father (absent-minedly): "Dtc he
speak?'
PRAIRIE POEMS

These are poems written By whi.s
Eagle. famous Indian rider OF the
Sioux ana Greek tribes. who writes
for the Boys and 0irls Newspaper.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1922-04-05

Some day they will learn to levy
taxes without people finding it out and
everybody will be happy.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1922-04-05

Something mysterious about that as
nobody can deny. Suing for Willis he
didn't get. All ex-sogers agree that K
he'd sued on some he did get there
would be due grounds for divorce
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1922-04-05

Mile. Lenglen pronounce LengIen)
hasn't given up the idea that passive
resistance is the only way to over
come the American rule in tennis.
Johnny Wilson will continue to fight
anybody who won't fight him.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1922-04-05
WHAT EVERY DOUGH
BOY KNOWS

King George has sued Prexy Hard
ing for sixty-four cases Of canned VII
lie he didn't get during the war
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1922-04-05
Sunmar NRar

Summer Near
I'm pretty flower coming up.
I'm white man calls him buttercup
I'm sun shines warmer every day.
Big warm blanket. him laid away,
Pony him shed him winter coat,
Heap glad tri!ls in UNI song bird
fhroafl
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1922-04-05

Nobody ever saw any cavalry hof'''
across. Know what they did ..
them? They canned 'em. Read that -
twice. They canned 'em.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1922-04-05

God save the king!
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1922-04-05

Prexy Harding is a good natI
cuss though, and will prooao4g ..
George have those sixty-four cases 3"
canned Will.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1922-04-05

George is probably. sore at A.Hsr'-
for letting Columbus discover H. IN
Chris came back on the vital s'AIis''
on the L. g., the world was sill" pse
tier for England than a four-try on :
first roll. They tried to hush The ma
ter UP and keep it a secret, but lre'aI
heard about the New York police l"I0
And look what's been happen.nS e''
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1922-04-05

Spring fever and a little mony in the
bank are a good combination in re-
straint OF work.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1922-04-05

When you get radio outfit there's
music in the air.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1922-04-05

A California cop arrested his wife !
for speeding. But just wait until she |
gets out again.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1922-04-05

Now is the time for all good men to
swat the fly.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1922-04-05

War left us taxes; but taxes don't
leave us much.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1922-04-05

A girl seldom leaves home to get out
of bad company.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1922-04-05

Lenine is sick; perhaps he is sick
OF his job.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1922-09-13
CLASSES ORGANIZED

Gymnasium classes were organized
this week for both girls and boys in
the junior-senior high school. Miss
Hazel Stutsman has charge of the
girls, and William Nice laflin is the
boys Instructor, New courses in ply
steal training work have been. map
ped out for the year. which will be Of
great benefit to the student body. Z
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1922-09-13
BIRTHDAY PARTY AT svEAs..

4 q birthday party in honor of Mr.
Lundeen and Mr. Nels Anderson was
given at the "A. P. Johnson home on
Sunday. The people came to bid fare
we'll to MI. and Mrs. Lundeen who
leave for Portland, Ore, 0 nTuesday.
Rev. Sorenson and A. O. Nelson gave
short talks. Mr.. Lundeen and Mr..
Anderson were each presented with
handsome gift. A delicious / lunch
was served to" the one hundred guests.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1922-09-13
ATTENDING ST. OLAF.

Loyal Tallakson has departed for.
Northf1eld where he will enroll as a
institution. He was a graduate Of the
Willmar High school of 1922. *ssS So &
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1922-09-13
THREE BUILDINGS SLEFT

d. Two uildingss on Block Twenty were
sold by the city council last Monday
night stg Knute Samuelson. Three now
remain4-the old hotel building, the
Olson residence and the building on
the northeast corner. Bids for, these
will be received at the meeting of the
council Sept. Is. Bids for two Of these
buildings were rejected Monday night.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1922-09-13

New fall suits and overcoats for
boys. $4.e5, $5.25, $685., s7.e5. Hoas-
.lund & Ditfendorf, spot cash clothiers.
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1922-09-13
BAKE SAFE

Ef5s.
jE BAKE SAEE=s
The ladies. OF the. St. Mary church
will hold bake sale at the Alderman
Meat Market next Saturday after
noon at 8 p: M s:..
One ticket for the County Fair
Free with every 5000 purchase Sept.
18th to Sept. 23rd. Hoaolund q Ditfen-
dorf, spot cash clothters -Adv.
- -. 80
Lid Wants TO See You. It
Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1922-09-13

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