New-York tribune., 1922-11-09
The 7,oyer
copr.. New York Tribune lac. isa,

write about Is one Of the ghastliest
| things in life.--There are enough
themes, but there is no theme that
does not present itself as being as
unappetizing as cold spaghetti IT,
And when you seek the icebox at
! IN the morning and find nothing
in 1t but ice and a dish of cold
spaghetti, you are a strong char
acter If you do not sit right down
on the oilcloth and deny the inmor-
tality of the soul.--A feeling of
doubt, disillusionment, a sense Of
tho general futility of things, ema-
mates from a dish of cold spaghetti.
A friend Of ours, whom we will
call Herbert, was found dead in
his kitchen early one morning some
years ago.--He was hanging to an
electric light cord that descended
from the ceiling just over the
sink.-The police were called in
and, because the body was found in
the kitchen, Immediately arrested
the cook on a charge of murder
An association of ideas of that sort
is always more than a detective is
able to resist
We arrived with Captain Fitzurse
before the body was cut down, and
the first thing we noticed was that
the icebox door was wide open.-In-
side was platter of cold spaghetti.
1t was staring out at the scene of
its crime with dull, satisfied
malevolence.
We knew exactly what must have
| happened.-Poor Herbert had gone
to the icebox some time between the
noon Of night and the first cockcrow
seeking for sustenance, and had
found the cold spaghetti.-He had
gazed at it, and it had looked back
lat him, and each had at once begun
to hate the other.
"You are loathsome," said Her.
bert to the spaghetti. life is
loathsome," said the spaghetti to
Herbert.-Herbert was silent for
long moment, and then he said, 81
agree with you."- more
than | would do with you," said the
spaghetti i.--"God knows | won't eat
you and give you a chance to dis
agree with me-" said Herbert
"There isn't any God" said the
spaghetti.- Herbert did not wish to
believe this, but the longer he
looked at the cold spaghetti the more
probable it seemed to him.-After
couple of hours of this sort of
conversation Herbert stepped upon
the kitchen sink, tied the cord around
his neck, put both feet on cake
Of soap and stood on the soap till
the soap slipped.-It was thus that
we reconstructed the crime.
Captain Fitzurse agreed with us.
-"But," said the Captain, "before
we save the cook, let us first taste
the sauce on that spaghetti. We
did so.-We gave the cook every
chance, heating the sauce before we
tasted tit was vile. that sauce
"The cook must die" said Captain
Fitzurse.-And we agreed with him.
The police discovered that Her
bert and the cook had quarreled;
the prosecuting attorney did his
best; the jury, composed of house
keepers, rendered verdict of gull !
ty in the first degree without leav-
ing their seats, and the cook was
executed within six weeks.-",Jus-
t!ce," said Captain Fitzurse, "has
been done! pit should be lesson |
to cooks; if the sauce had been right |
we should have saved the cook.
The right way to make a sauce
for spaghetti is this:
First, you take some pungent
onions, part Of a snappy green
pepper, part Of a snappy red pep
per and piece of pimento, and you
chop these things very, very fine.
Then you brown them slowly in a,
frying pan with butter, sprinkling
little Worcestershire sauce over
them while they are browning.
Then, in stew pan, you pour
half canful of thick beef soup.
Add to this the pulpy insides of sew
eral tomatoes. Add about half a
bottle Of tomato catsup. Add about
four tablespoonfuls of Worcester
shire sauce. Put in some tabasco |
sauce. Sprinkle with red pepper.
black pepper and salt. Put in some
cAlo pOll CllS WUOlC tUlllR
slowly until it boils down to a paste.
u n
When it has boiled down to
paste put the other half can of
beef soup into it and some water,
and then pour in the Drowned onion
pepper-pimento mixture from the
frying pan. Then boil the whole
thing down to a paste the second
time, during the latter stages put
ting in a tablespoonful of the stuff
known as kitchen bouquet.
All this time your spaghetti it.
self has been boiling, and see that
it is boiled thoroughly. When the
spaghetti is done and the sauce is
done pour the sauce over the spa
ghetti in the pot, but do not let
them cook together more than
couple Of minutes.
If you have Parmesan cheese. so
much the better. But American
cheese that has been allowed to
become hard and dry, grated, is
nearly as good.--Sprinkle Just
little of this cheese over the mess,
and stir it in when you put the
onion-pepper mixture to TIT melts
enough to help the ingredients get