davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1922-11-12

~ NCH there was a Gettsr
named Ichabod Roxworthy.
" He had 1t in every Pocket
because he was q Good Man. He
knew that some day or other he
would Shuttle and two Minutes
after his milk-whits Soul had
winged skyward he would be
checking in at the Pearly Gates
and Saint Peter would be show
Ing him . Diagram and urging
him to take . Room with a good
view of the Lower Regions, SO he
would bs sure to Enjoy Himself.
Even those who had been stung
by Ichabod could not deny that
he was booked for the Pearly
Gates. They merely hoped that
all Of the Pearls would be fas-
tened from the inside by Rivets.
One Sunday morning Mr.. Rox-
worthy arose feeling sure that he
would prosper during the Week
to come. The Sabbath had been
dedicated to Meditation, Prayer.
Dark Clothes and overeatins.
As he came out of the Zone Of
sanctimony into the cold Reali-
ties Of Monday morning. he ives
working full.time under the Bon
net and getting ready to slip over
some Hot Ones.
He was worried as to the Fu-
tlre Of q Manufacturing Venture
Il which he held q hatful Of
stock. This Stock never had de-
ciafed q Divvy. and the whole
Venture was commonly regarded
ss'a Ounce. Only the watchful
Deacon and few Insiders, knew
Oh a cheapened Process and the
certain Prospect Of Juicy Con-
tracts which would convert the
Fliv into q Baby Doll.
50 he was, worried.
He saw a lot Of Soft Collateral
finding its way to those who
might waste II In Sinful Practices.
That Ia why we catch him on Mon
day at close quarters with Law.
yer Who could walk in fresh Snow
without leaving any Tracks.
Mr.. Roxworthy said the Property
might have a Future If 7kcn over
by Responsible Parties Of known
Integrity. The Lawyer replied
everything would he quite legal.
A little roundabout and more or
The Washington times., 1922-11-12

Oh. how Mr.. Roxworthy dis
liked Walking Delegates! He pre-
ferred gentle Characters that
would take the Halter.
The men left an ugly Ultimatum,
and then a Delegation of Social
Workers came in to plead for the
Women and Children employed at
the Works. claiming that they were
underpaid and properly safeguard.
ed as to Moral Welfare and Physi.
cal Comfort. 1t was the Old Story
"a lot Of Outsiders trying to filch
the Profits Of Honest Enterprise.
Mr.. Roxworthy sent for the
Superintendent and asked how
about Il.
N"Well, the Men are strongly or
ganized." was the Reply. "If they
walk out. it's Goodnight, Myrtle
for us. Give the Men their Raise.
We can afford to do 1t under the
new Boost in Prices, provided we
don't have to increase the Pay.
Roll in the cheaper Departments.
The Women and Kids have no Or.
ganization and can be handled"
Some quick work with the Pencil
convinced the Captain of Industry
that he could compromise and stlli
put down a lovely Return. His
Better Nature asserted itself and
he gave his faithful Men En-.
ployees a nice Raise and wondered
II II would get into the Papers.
II is Saturday Evening.
Sitting before the Crate, with an
Apple at his Elbow, and reviewing
a week Of Combat with the Phillis.
tines and those who live in Outer
Darkness. who could blame Mr..
Roxworthy II he seemed to feel a
Halo resting. light as a Nimbus,
upon his leathery Bow7
Or who will deny the Statement,
made 10 the Bible Glass on the sub.
seduent Morning, that those who
obey the Precepts ssem TO find a
special Guidance to the deiectable
Pastures. where MIX Ia ever on
Tap and Honey may be had by
those who know how to get it7
MORAL: Restrictive Regula.
tions are made TO Jack up the
Wicked and not 10 Inconvenience
the Righteous.
Copyright is22. by the Bell Syndicate
The Washington times., 1922-11-12

less in the Twilight, but Legal.
When tho controlling Interest had
been garnered by a capable Minor
ity, and the real Business Guys
would go ahead and collect the
Pickings.
II was all Just as regular as
melting the Lid off Child's Tin
Bank.
Tuesday was all to the Happy.
Tho kindly Providence that notes
the fall of h Sparrow saw to 1t that
Ichabod more than made his Ex-.
penses on this same Tuesday.
A certain Boyhood Friend. who
was slowly sinking into a morass
Of Mortgages. still held on TO piece
Of Corner Property just on the
border Of the Business District.
Mr.. Roxworthy. learned that the
Transfers had been made and the
Plans approved for the construc-
ton Of q huge Department Store
right across the Street from the
property owned by his Boyhood
Friend. At the same time he had
an awful Hunch that Boyhood
Friend was not wise to the pro-
jected improvements. So he
dropped in, casual.iike, TO see his
dear old Side Kick and Playmate of
other Days.
THE LEGISLATIVE zoo.
A tale OF Grief was waiting for
him. II involved q Sick Wife and
Premiums due on Insurance Pol
icies and longing to send Daush.
ter to College.
Well, when Mr.. Roxworthy
found his Old Friend lying face
downward In the Gravel. he sure
did a Magnanimous Thing. He
took over the Corner Property
at about 80 per cent Of the recent
Market Value and about 30 per
cent of what It would Fetch after
being taken into the Retail Shop.
ping District.
or course the Friend was CRATE
full. He offered Mr.. Roxworthy
a Cigar.
"I don't use Tobacco In mo
Form" said Mr.. Roxworthy. sc.
verely. "It is vile Habit. I'd
say that any Man using the Weed
could hardly he called a Moral
Man"
lie walked up street with the
The Washington times., 1922-11-12

irr EILO, we thought that You had gone away for a
legal winter in Atlanta Put your feet on the table
81 and make yourself at home. Pop never did believe
that You were guilty of swindng in sefdeense and said
that no jury would convict you the mob got there first
We've got hinges family album because
the old ones were full of carbon and could only turn
twenty pages to the gallon of OIL That picture there
stranger Of friend of Uncle Garfield's
He is fine looking man, but pop kind of suspicious
Of the gloves all the time. Pop that man
ouphtn to wear gloves he is washing his hands, and
that there many false fngerna under vevey pair of
mittens. .,.'i
When a man wears gloves all the time you naturally
pect he is chaps who pays dime debt in order
to establish a dollar credit:
Once pop the important palbearer his lodge
funeral and he didn't have gloves with his red
So uncle went down and got him pair suspicion
The Washington times., 1922-11-12

enough. but they had q few Stub.
born Ones on the Board who would
be mighty hard to handle. Mr.
Roxworthy said he would feel
good deal freer to put up a Battle
IL he knew that the Company re-
ceiving the Contract was under
conservative Management.
Here was an Opening too wide 10
be missed. The President OF the
Company tumbled.
Suppose" said he, that we
drop few Shares OF Stock into
your pocket when you are not look.
ing and then put you on the Board7
You would have supervisory Power
The Washington times., 1922-11-12

and could protect your other Com
pany."
Oh, the Look that Mr.. Rox.
worthy shot at the One who spoke
the Above! How dare your" he
demanded. Evidently you are MT
acquainted with my reputation for
probity. DO you realize that you
are offering me q Bribe? II I am
to acquire any stock In your Cor.
poration so as to protect my As
sociates in the Interurban, II will
be by Purchase. Everything Regu.
lar and Aboveboard-that's my
Motto"
He took quite hunk Of Stock at
The Washington times., 1922-11-12

LINES TO A COCKROACH.
Written by Request.

Written by Request.
The eockroach sat In the Govern.
ment files;
On the file clerks he kept one
eye. III
He feared that some clerk would
stop talking styles
And go 10 sprinkling BYE.
The lies that they told as they
smO0ihed out their locks
He knew were Of little avail,
But the lye that they buy I'm a
small tin box
Would eat off his legs and his
tail.
But the cOclSroach sits In the same
old place; at the same old
clerk he winks,
For the Government clerk never
stops from his work except
when he eats or drinks.
30 the reaches 20 ON with their
work OF destruction,
And Congress keeps on with its
work Of reduction"
SAM SIMPLE.
The Washington times., 1922-11-12
4 REGULAR DEVILi

+: A small henpecked. worried
.looking man was undergoing an
examination for life Insurance.
/. You don't dissipate. do your
asked the physician as he made
ready for the tests. mot q fast
liver, or anything Of that sort?
The little man hesitated O
moment, looked q bit frightened,
, then replied In a small, piping
ivoice: ."I sometimes chew q little
4: turn."
The Washington times., 1922-11-12
SPLENDID GIRLS
ALL OVER AMERICA

.o.m "a r::RS.'. RRS. asI.!s sk T. e % PAWS; ts Il.
ss0wM 20, M..I, pI,.i'ias the siri' Of the
why loo. s,a to. to the West for ''ur bride.
When maiden. q worth are at hand
There are slrl. In the East Of grace
ut mate. for the boids.t. mobiles, Of
The North hath many fair daughter.
who we'd. With ono will h.v. nothing
And the maids. yes Know. Of our
Have virtue. beauty. and womaniy
Bss IssL sss the. - In the sssy
'nsas iis tainted ,snps with rsstIes.
Nsr y:s whsss the blatant Jas. hands
A.A ss.s:s light. 1. tn. dane. hall.
os ssei where the hsms-firs. brightly
warn sss !: .,.s.,a. .: these Shs ..r. s...;
To vi.tne's psths snA the hsaithfui
OF ..ssSs. regular sirI. and boys.
Bet. hssv. ~ lad. there are men in
TINS Woot.
Brs~.y q s.:.. s.%. 's'ssr Of eye and deep
s.r.as q M" s!se. .s.uu.,s.. they. and
wAs ds,S' In hs mine or toll in the
whs may follow N. pIow or rid. the
Or .r.1s n the su.y mart. Of change.
sssh % are they ~h' court this san
Whsse mentisn has set your mind all
awhiri.
Ard what to this wonderful girl can
To offer along with q wedding ring?
Will your love held true. though trials
grieve?
Fer A:s :,S;i9,;; S,I, you dare will you win
Are your lips unseiled Sy . Phryne's
1. yeur bleed snt.inted ~ tn. .o.rIs.
Whist ds ysa ssfsr this pap fer her
Fer tbs WSsssrn Giri must mate with
Cape May, N. j., residents
complain Of the presence of
thousands Of swallows, indicat-
ing cold, dry weather, while
American travellers returning
from abroad insist that the
absence Of swallows proves the
dry part Of 1t, anyway.
The Washington times., 1922-11-12
SSAMBO" AND FAME.

Though Booker Washington
became
/ Tho Moses OF his race,
His statue In the Hall Of Fame
May never find q place;
But Sambo Evorett's friends
! believe
i That In the bye-and-bye
The Han q statue must receive
. OF Sambe eating pie.
- . WADE WELLER.
The Washington times., 1922-11-12
IMPORTANT If TRUE.

> While standing near the statue
Of RAWLINS, Ninth street and
Pennsylvania avenue, i heard an
old lady remark to her kiddies,
as she pointed out the field glasses
resting on each thigh: "Oh!
loOkee! he has . coupla bottles Of
ginger ale, In case he gets thirsty!
CLARENDON.
The Washington times., 1922-11-12

.As rule mans "second
thoughP comes a minute too
Late."
Men are like tdGks-dtudus
useless unless they hoUe fine
points. HANK HA WRINS.
The Washington times., 1922-11-12

"Who remembers?" asks Uncle
Zeke, "When Women Were able
to get their breakfast dishes
cleaned up be}ore lunch time?"
The Washington times., 1922-11-12

THE WORD "STILL."
ACCORDING TO WEBSTER'S,
IF YOU KEEP "STIrL"
1T MEANS JUST ORDERLY
AND QUIET;
ACCORDING TO PROHIBITION,
IF YOU KEEP A STILL"
1T MEANS DISORDERLY
AND A RIOT.
LULU NJ. SCHULTZ.
The Washington times., 1922-11-12

Just before the trained ostrich
Was due to give its turn at
music hall there ,Uas a commo-
ton. The curtain had gone up
but the orchestra ,Uds evidently
unprepdred. The conductor Uas
nowhere to be seen. Finally the
manager came for,odrd. "Ladies
and GENTS" he said, "there'U be
no ostrich turn tonight. We've
got to get a neW orchestra con-
d1ctor. This ones got bald
head, and my birds mistook it
for q eoo."
The Washington times., 1922-11-12

thar y sotsssSspsSs. sessss 30 ssss DAN
DGG0INS. and We leave II to our
The Washington times., 1922-11-12

The man pho ,Orote "ignor-
ance Is bliss" had evidently
matched some dumb-bells get
ting enjoyment out of dis
playing theirs.
yOyO.
The Washington times., 1922-11-12

tcopyright, is22. by the Bell sysdicate
Incl
The Washington times., 1922-11-12

NCE there was Getter
named Ichabod Roxworthy.
~ He had It In every Pocket
The Washington times., 1922-11-12

After that he, never wore gloves and wore his
their state.
New-York tribune., 1922-07-30
Why Not a Safety Year?

Seven days in which to turn peo-
pies thoughts toward better methods
of keeping themselves alive seem
pitifully inadequate.
The best way to observe safety
week would be to make provision
for safety year, extendable in
definitely on expiration.
AS matter of fact it is the bust
ness Of an administration which has
direction Of the affairs Of 100000
people to make safety week of
every week in the year.
This is done very ably by the Fire
Department of New York and by the
Fire Prevention Bureau, and it is
done to very great extent by the
Police Department-the rank and
file Of which guards the public inter
est whenever it is permitted to do So
The various means for reminding
people Of the dangers to which they
are exposed in a great city that
are to be taken in safety week ought
to be taken all the year round.
Judge Gary's admonition, Don't
get hurt!" ought to be posted all over
the city and kept posted continually,
instead of only for seven days.
New-York tribune., 1922-07-30

I tt1nguished course not thousand miles
from New York. There was gymntnfue
factitious about that terrible tub and
it was ugliness itself besides. = The
right art is disclosed of course in
making the most of natural hazard
There is priceless example on the
Ekwanok course at Manchester. It oc-
ours on the third hole, where it pro-
tects the green. The approach from
any distance at all is wickedly decep-
tive, for until you are very near you
cannot see how the land slopes Just
enough to WOO even a gently rolling
ball to disaster Only mashie stroke
calculated to nicely will lay the ball
on the green. The least slackening
will let the ball roll in. The water
when last saw it was hardly an inch
deep, But the banks are very high,
and on the green side so near to the
vertical as to make the job like that
Of urging a ball straight up the side
there is nothing to do but bind your
hair in blue and take up the plant
| of Swift's starting. Stockbridge has
q water hazard as cxasperating as it
is odd and with an ingenious moral
twist. You drive almost with the
stream along its length, save for the
necessary slant to reach the further
shore. The test lies in the angle you
| oI NJ IS.iu low n
or short to suit yourself. You can
play golf or you can play safe.
1t is human to play safe, and its
economical possibilities offer an in.
ducement not to be lightly condemned
But as I have more than once endeav-
ored to point out in these musings,
the genius Of golf lies in its pure
idealism, it's spur in the struggle after
perfection. Your true water hazard
is great call to courage, to the high
spirit of the game. There are brook
holes at Scarsdale, for example, which
are very charming, but each one of
them is vitiated by the temptation to
compromise. They can all be con-
quered by playing safe. The broad
lake, going out or coming in, offers
no alternative--you must drive across
or confess yourself beaten. The brook
holes, in their turn, may have their
virtue. To play ball out Of one Of
them with a niblick, thereby covering
yourself from head to foot with mud
and water, is no slight sacrifice Of
comfort to ambition. But to take your
own golfing measure you must address
your ball before an indubitabiy sizabie
body Of water; you must set your
argosy really upon "the inconstant
pillows dancing
New-York tribune., 1922-07-30

the Art Center, namely: Art Alliance
OF America, Art Directors Club, Amer
lean institute Of Graphic Arts, New
| YORK Society of Craftsmen, Pictorial
Photographers of America, Society Of
illustrators and The Stowaways. The
exhibition was continued for one month.
Since that time, during a period Of
seven months, twenty exhibitions have
been held by the cooperating organiza-
tions, fourteen by other societies and
individual artists, and twenty-seven
lectures, conferences and demonstra-
tions, besides talks on the exhibits.
have taken place in our building. In
addition, eleven concerts have been
given, five Of which were in the inter
ests Of the Music Students League. an
organization which we have been clad
to encourage.
The Art Center building has sevsn ex-
hibition galleries and fourteen studios
The seven constituent societies have
their headquarters here and cooperate
in the organizing of constructive educa-
bership is about three thousand.
Glasses in craftwork, designing and
color selection have been held regu-
larly. Through the free placement
section, operated under the auspices of
the Art Alliance of America, positions
have been found for large number Of
artists.
Our societies, have sent out exhibi-
tions over the entire country, and it
is our intention to develop this branch
Of the work to such an extent that
the most remote sections of the United
States may enjoy the benefit Of seeing
the best examples of art and crafts
manship. RAY GREENLEAF,
Secretary.
New York, July 2e, 1922.
New-York tribune., 1922-07-30

The President promises that the
nation shall not go without coal
That he will and can make good this
promise is confidently expected.
Great as may be his difficulties, he
VIII have the undivided support of
all the coal users in the country.
This in itself will give him the great
strength of a united public opinion
in enforcing his program. Instead
OF the people demanding coal at
any price, as the strikers hope, they
will insist upon "coal at a fair
price" And the President will help
them get it.
The coordination Of the machinery
to insure the proper supply and dis.
tribution of coal has been put into the
hands Of Henry B. Spencer. who has
been named temporary Federal Coal
Administrator pending developments
Of the situation. Mr.. Spencer, work
ing under Mr.. Hoover, will cooper
ate with the fuel administrators to
be appointed by the various states.
He will also be member of the
Presidential Coal Distribution Com
mittee, and thus have direct contact
with the Federal supervision of roll
ing stock. Thanks to his experience
in charge of national coal distribu-
tlon after the dissolution of the old
fuel administration, he is we'll fitted
for his task.
1t is hoped that as soon as the
railroad strike is settled it will be
possible to turn out 6,500,000 tons
week. This is only about 1000 900
tons under the average consumption.
The principal problem is the distri-
button Of this fuel throughout the
different sections of the country. 1t
is possible that a small quantity Of
coal may be imported for some of
the local needs of the Atlantic Coast.
but the remainder will have to be
spread from the different mining
centers according to the national
needs. The reserve stocks through
out the country already are nearly
exhausted, SO that each week until
full mining operations are resumed
will show deficit of 2,0OO. 900 tons.
AS result it probably will be sew
eral months after the strike is set
tied before the normal supply Of coal
will be available.
These admirable measures for the
protection of the public do not. un-
fortunately, bring the end Of the
strike any nearer. They are not for
this reason to be any the less appre
ciated. But they must not be al
lowed to screen the fact that until
the strike is settled there can be no
permanent remedy for the present
troubles.
New-York tribune., 1922-07-30
Missouri's Primary

The Democrats Of Missouri are
s decide on Tuesday whether SEN
.;or Reed or Breckenridge Long is
i be their candidate for Senator.
We're The Tribune eligible to
atieipate in the primary it would
mark its ballot for Long; this de-
snte the fact that Senator Reed
sarpasses his opponent in both
sbiisy and experience, and despite
lie iusther fact that MIR. Long, at
s,hing himself to the coat tails of
bmer President Wilson, practi-
ally advertises that he will be a
ailhful me too"
The charge that Senator Reed op-
POSED the Wilson treaty policy
through personal spite may be
iassed by His motives are not I'M
rortant; nor are his enemies to be
trusted to describe them accurately.
Concerning q matter as important
u was discussed in 1919 and 1920
public man is entitled to be Judged
On his open and declared record.
Moreover, if Senator Reed had a
ysrsonal quarrel with Mr.. Wilson no
one has a right to assume that the
Snator was in the wrong.
The only proper basis for op-
POSITION to Senator Reed, it seems
nw.is that the ideas he champions,
though his sincerity is conceded, do
notneet approval. What his ideas
ztre he has made entirely plain. He
nnds before his constituents as an
Focate of national aloofness. He
ks as much against the Lodge
|fan of participation in world af-
ars as he was against the Wilson
|an.
He voted against ratification in
both cases. Should President Hard
|ag and Secretary Hughes. when the
ness inherited from the former Ad-
Ininistration is cleared away, de-
|vslop some other plan of interna-
Sonal cooperation it is to be as
amed Senator Reed would also
light this. 1t is not SO certain that
Ar. Long would.
Thus it seems Mr.. Long should
stsvored not only by Democratic
psats leaguers, but should have the
sympathy of Republican peace lea
guer A vote for him is a vote
msome respects for wisconsin, but
It's also vote for something more
thaa Wisconsin. Should Senator
iced win his victory would greatly
encourage those who would lock up
NE United States and make it a
srmlt nation-not perhaps com
stely a Tibet or a Corea. but
Nnethlng in the nature of the old
! China.
New-York tribune., 1922-07-30

the transit tangle has been to tangle
1t still more .hopelessly is surely in
adequate in the present situation.
incidentally, the prospect of in
stituting condemnation proceedings
and letting contracts for new
bridge at time when Tammany is
so much in evidence is not at ell re-
assuring.
If Mr.. Whalen will call together
the ablest engineers that can be
found and submit their opinions
rather than his own upon what ought
to be done he will awaken more con-
fidence in his fitness 10 deal with
the matter.
New-York tribune., 1922-07-30
The Art Center
Editor of The Tribune,

To the Editor of The Tribune.
Sir: Articles have recently appeared
in the press referring to the proposed
building to be erected on Seventh Ave-
nue. and Fifty-eighth Street As the
"art center" 1t has been sugge sted
several times by those who have seen
the notices that confusion nigh. be
avoided by using some designation for
this project other than Art. Center,
since we are known and incorporated
under this name.
In this connection we would like to
call your attention to our work. Our
building WIS officially opened to the
public on November /, 1921, with q
general exhibition of arts and crafts
by the seven cees-tituent societies Of
New-York tribune., 1922-07-30
Inc Struggle of Two Natures

oswald Garrison Willard, never
'elactant to express himself with
arene conviction, seems to have
ssurned from Germany lacking his
Fstlne emphasis.
Writing Of the colored troops of
@apation in the Rhineland, he fails
pant the Germans 100 per cent in
s right. For a reason for SO star
Jung an attitude on the part Of Mr..
'alafd it is necessary to resort to
ss Phrases Of the Greenwich Viii
V Psychologists and look for a
MET of complexes.
Strange indeed must be the battle
sS'As on in the editors soul. Son of
sefnan liberal, Henry Hilgard,
grandson Of the great abolition
William Lloyd Garrison, he finds
@4sef torn between his faith in the
allly Of all races and his convic-
in the superiority of the Ger
as The spirit of Father Hilgard
sAleSs in his ears that the Germans
20 no wrong and are subjec
'ae most brutal indignities. The
|e.n eagat Of Africans in the fair
.aerland makes the Hilgard blood
h The spirit Of William Lloyd
4iiS'n, on the other hand, repudi-
appeals to race prejudice. The
sat CT Africans being restricted
no the blood of the emancipation.
Il. ss''@een the two "The Nations"
Is sorely shaken. If he admits
'aifns of Grandfather Garrison
IS aouses the ire of Father Hill
Iv.s ~ II ne admits that the German
p4sanda about the horrors ON the
Is well founded he is bounded