The Washington times., 1922-06-18
Taking All the
EatOut of Life
! o you want to reduce physi.
cally or Ninanciallyf


time, thereby killing two birds
with one stone. which is efficiency.
Yesterday. or the day before. an
otherwise excellent newspaper
published q story by q sob-sister to
the effect that wives do not love
fat husbands with all the ardor and
sincerity that they might display
over the string-bean type.
4 The weeping moulder Of public
opinion advised all upholstered
gents to becomeN aesthetic. or
whatever II Is they say. for pale
looking. In other words. she told
them how 20 train down to the
general style Of q House Of Gins.
berg. collegiate, two-button, wasp.
waist pattern. - H.. p
Accompanying the article were
two pictures. before and after"
The first was OF q gentleman who
gave q correct imitation Of . bal
loon. The second was Of sort
OF shoe-string potato stood on end.
IN the first picture the gentleman
seemed to combine the physical
aspects of . knack-wurst with all
the intellectual perspicacity Of
trained seal. Il .lc ssSo.,. s.Sture
he rad the physique Of a wing
footed Mercury. combined with the
mental fair of q Harvard senior
TO whom DR.. Eliot's five feet Of
books 10 . mere light luncheon or
snack
We congratulate this man. He
done his stuff and he done 1t noble,
but It is only fair to say that when
he grew thin he left lot Of fat
guys behind, unloved by their
wives. soaked by the tailors. stared
at accusingly by undertakers and
constantly inquired about by rela-
tiyes and friends. :
I In the old days when q man was
Fat. he was Just fat and that was
all there was to It. They let him
into all the exclusive clubs with.
out q struggle and he could stop
for o social chat with a doctor
without receiving q bill for .profes-
'sionai attention. The fact that he
was fat and rather uncomfortable
In hot weather was all he had to
worry about.
Under the new rules he has to
have blood-pessure along with It,
The deadliest physical insult that
can be handed 70 any person now
IL to tell him he has blood-pres-
sure, in spite Of the fact that, II
he didn't have blood-pressure he
would not i've . minute and a
half. Blood pressure is now a
crime. almost as heinous as that
Of having an appendix.
'Blood.pressure is q subject that
rouses the puny wrath Of the fat
man to the intensity Of = movie
vesuvius. which Is the meanest
looking vesuvius in the world
Mention blood-pressure and every
!portly man IN the world begins
shooting skyward large fiocks Of
sparks and sheets of flame and
burying innocent bystanders in
rivers Of molten lava
Many . thin man who has men
toned blood.pressure to Q fat man
has owed his life to the fact that
the sullivan law prohibits the car
rying Of firearms by one and all.
why pick on the fat mani He
has plenty OF troubles. A man
with bay window cannot mix and
mingie in modern dancing. He
sits In . restaurant and his patient
soul longs for a chance to express
itself through his feet. But he
iools himself over from his chin
70 the second button OF his vest.
which IS the end Of the picture, so
fAr q hs Il concerned and mur-
murs: No. not tonight Maybe
tomorrow night but NOT to-
night Perhaps he wiggies =
.wicksd walkpver. at that, But he
looks 90 on the noor everybody 10
AFRAID he is going to bust some
'thfng.
For this reason . lot Of experts
spend their time trying 10 take the
fat out Of life. They now suaran-
tss d, make Fat man look like
Harold Lloyd n he VIII eft and lis
l<en 10 r course OF reducing on the