The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1922-02-07

THE i'll wind proVerb applies in movieland.
too. Nary Miles Minter ought to dash On to
new successes in screen art News of TayIors
death brought to her face an expression she
had never done before: that of perfect,
frozen horror. We have her mammals word
for it.
now 1T FEELS TO BE Is YEARS OLD.
Considering my own life and longevity from
the point of public interest the same as the
lives of other notaDles, 1ncluolng me lesser
lit'ry attainments of such as Don Marquis, Will
Irwin, Ring Lardner, Irwin Cobb, ETC., ETC., on
down to Hlghtower McGowen, shall endeavor.
upon request of the editor of this widely read
not to say popular-periodical. to give his
host of readers glimpse into the shielded in
timacieS of a celebritys Life, such as. Tor IN
stance whether like corn on the cobb or on
the ears. AFTER the manner of the great and
near-great, l confeSS-with due hesltancy, OF
course-that in order to enjoy the former L am
willing, in season, to endure the latter.
Next to what 1 eat you are probably most
interested in knowing of my habits; whether
am a lover of the great outdoors, just as
many other celebrities proudly admit Yes,
am compelled to plead guilty derive I'M
limited pleasure and joy out OF the great out
doors. one of my chief pleasures in this line
is that OF sitting by the radiator watching my
neighbor shoyeling the snow off his walk. and
Inarveing at his uncanny skill in discerning
despite the depth of the snow) the exact line
where his place ends and mine begins Yes,
indeed, the outdoor life has strong appeal
for me. and especially such winter sports as
those already cited, to say nothing OF carrying
out ashes ETC., in which the competition and
rivalry is so keen
In the matter OF wearing apparel and hab-
its, I've stuck pretty close to those of my fore
fathers, with few exceptions. The chief excep
ton is my ungovernable habit of Fording
which might be termed riding habit, if you'd
never ridden in one So much for my clothes
and habits My principal dissipation is put
ting alcohol in my Ards radiator, which is con-
sidered an especially devilish feat since the
actment of the 18th amen.
| OF interest to all, doubt. will be the
secret Of my long life-or longevity, as the
Hebrew reporters say.
l owe my long life principally to the fact
that 1 was born at early age in 1894, and
that despite my tender years 1 put myself
upon a rigid diet composed enNrely Of fluids.
For two years L stuck to this diet, taking no
solid FOODS whatever. About this time, how
ever, the movement against liquids which has
since swept over the whole nation and Sahara
lied it, was originated against me. with the
result that my visible, occasionally, supply
was shut of At this age, however, my nat
ural resourcefulness asserted itself and 1
turned from my liquid diet to solid foodstufs
demanding my usual amount of calories, vita
mines, etc--and what's more-getting themt
Just see how carefully 1 planned my long life
even in those dark days of the 18th century
A d. It was upon this firm foundation that
my upbuiiding of youth and manhood was &C
complished, until now, at the advanced age of
Is years-a lifetime overlapping two centuries,
mind you-I able to carry an alcoholic
solution OF nearly so per cent in my radiator
regardless of YOlStead! ETEOCLES.
ONLY 2S years old? Eteocles is mere
youth; which probably accounts for the lack
Of respect for age apparent in some of the
barbs he shoots at us.
All, OUI; OF SURETY. CERTAINEMENT.
Monsieur Mac: The author of Our Jazz
Spotted Middle West, in the February Ladies'
Home journal, evidently agrees with FIoyd
Dell that in Port Royal lit is understood that
life was meant to be enjoyed''-but not with
dignity and serenity-and the kindly as
pect" Becomes "jazz-spotted" whatever that
Isl. How authors differ!
One of them holds Port Royal up as a shin
ing contrast to the two cities which face it
across the river; and the other charitabIy
comedies that it is at least as bad as we are
and includes US all in sweeping anathema
One had not before realized to what depths
of degradation the Tri-cities had fallen,
1t is apparent that Port Royal and her
twin sisters are about ready for the admin
istratlor of extreme JUNCTION; with plenty of
candles and incense as a fitting accomnani-
ment to their departure into the purifying fires
of the world whittier they bound-if they
are LIE MOQUEUR
P. S.: According to The Argus one of the
rules of the Calf Club contest is: ANY bow
or girl in Mercer county between the ages of
ten and twenty may enter the contest"
Moon Calves, m'sieur, perhaps?
MAS Information bureau saws the longest
golf hole ever made in a single shot from the
tee is the nth hole at Observation-Disclosures"
and that the hole measures $40 wards"
Nhereupon Carl asks, WAS this hole-or a
rGvine?"
Ye Correspondent Takes a Gentle Whaek at
His Unreasonable Neighbors
bushnell Corr, Galesburg Republican,
Register
The men of the /. p. S. Co. were on
the boulevard Thursday morning, digging
holes to set electric light poles for a light
near the north end of the boulevard for
that part of the city is extremely dark
and dangerous. 1t would have been
splendid thing for your correspondent
1t was to be placed near our home and
would have been quite help to all of
US living down in the dark spot, but
some of the residents down the line south
did not want the poles on the boulevard.
hence the work was stopped, and, con-
sequently, we will not have a light down
our way, but the majority rules
THE burning question for Los Angeles DO
lice is not, as one might suppose, who killed
Taylor and where can find himr'
No; the mystery that maddens the detecka-
tits in the City of the Angels is this:
Where, oh where, is that pink silk niebtie
that once reposed in the directors dresser
drawer?'
dun femina fact"-alvays.