The Coconino sun., 1922-12-22
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(Stolen, Revamped and Original)

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 "John, your wife looks cold in that thin coat"
 Cant help it. She's saving up for some summer furs."
 Maud tells everything she knows.
 Yes, it wouldn's be so bad if she would stop there.
 Did you ever do single days work in your life?
 Old Hobo: Jest about, lady.
 Doctor Friend: Now that you have a car, you mustn's neglect exercise.
 Patient: Oh, l shan't be able to; it's a secondhand car.
 Waiter, I came in yesterday for steak.
 Yes, sir. Will you have the same today?
 Why, I might as we'll if no one else is using it.
 Tim: How are you getting along at home while your wife's aYay?
 Jim: Fine. I've reached the height of efficiency. 1 can put on my socks now from either end.
 A pressure of 15 pounds on this wire bumper throws out the clutch, applies the brakes, cuts off the igni- tion and blows the horn.-From The Scientific American. It seems to do about everything except take charge of the body.
 , An old yokel saw a motor-car for the first time in his life. It came dashing up the main street, and dis appeared in cloud of dust. "Well,' said the yokel. "the horses must ha' bin goin' good speed when they got loose frcm that carriage"
 An inquisitive old lady was always asking her minister questions. One day the persistent lady asked: "Mr. -, can you please tell me the diff ference between Cherubim and Sera- phim?" The minister thought deeply for a minute or two and then quietly replied: "Well, they HAD difference but they made it up."
 A man who believed he knew all about parrots undertook to teach what he though to be young, mute bird to say "Hello" in one lesson. Going up to the cage, he repeated that word in a clear voice for several minutes, the parrot paying not the slightest atten- tion. At the final "Hello!" the bird opened one eye, gazed at the man, and out: Hines busy"
 "Friend," said Cactus Joe, to the stranger in Crimson Gulch, "yOu have held four of a kind three times, a royal flush twice an several ace fulls."
 Lucky, I call it."
 "You're luckier than you think. The boys here is willin' to let you go your way intact provided you start imme- liate. There won't be any gun-play lnless you finger. The big luck fer you is the fact that you happened to pick Safety First Week for your performance at this here card table,"
 A small boy was told by his mother hat there would be a new baby for i'm to play with, as the doctor was going to bring it. That afternoon the appeared at the office of hes family physician and said: 1.
 Are you going to bring new ba- ,y to our house?"
 "Yes, my little man," replied the loctor, highly amused.
 "Then," returned the small boy, "let ne have a look at the kids you have n stock, and I'll pick out the one l hink I'd like the best"
 Little Willie questioned his grand mother with an appearance of great seriousness. "Ain't Rotterdam the name of a city, Gramma ?"
 Don't say 'ain't' Willie," the old ady corrected. "Yes, Rotterdam is he name of a city. Why?"
 Ut ain't swearin' to say it, is it iramma?" Don't say 'ain't' Willie. No it isn't wearing to say Rotterdam. Why?"
 Cause if sister keeps on eatin' so much candy she'll Rotterdam head ff."