The New York herald., 1922-06-18
A Collection of Repartee
Incidents in Which Members Of the Clergy and the
Bar Shine Particularly.

SuHivan In the Nineteenth Century.
"Riding alone. my Lord" was the well
deserved rejoinder.
There are many examples Of repartee
in connection with tie clerical world
a selection from which Il given here.
Cardinal Vaughan and Or. Adler. the
chief Jewish rabbi. were next to each
other at luncheon. Now. DR.. Ad-
ler." said the Cardinal. when may
have the pleasure Of helping you to
some hamT The rabbi replied without
. pause: "At your Eminence's wedding
reply that for appropriate neatneee
would be hard to improve upon.
There. was quite q delightful reply
once made by DR.. Potter. Bishop of New
York. when asked by lady how Il was
that In pictures and statues the angels
are always represented as women or
young men without boards or nu6taches
Every one knows tha' women naturally
Inherit the kingdom Of heaven. but the
men only get in by q very close shave
A visitor to st. Aibans on one oc-
casion complained that. though he liked
the service. he objected TO ''ths stink OF
the incense" II am sorry. my friend
said Father stanton very sravely.
'NWhy?" asked the stranger. %Well, yot,
see." replied the clergyman, there are
only two stinks in the next world--in-
cense and brimstone-and you will have
to choose between them
Famous among the humorists of the
neishborhood Of Dublin in the last thirty
or forty years OF the last century was
Father James Healy, parish priest Of
Little Bray. No account Of quick and
witty answers could pretend TO be COM
plete without including at least few Of
his. He was always d high favorite at
the viceregal lodge. often in company
with an old friend Of his. Lord Justice
Barry OF the Irish Bench. On one oc-
casion At . Christmas luncheon party.
when the Londonderrys were in office.
the conversation turned on the decora-
ess, thinking to put poser to
his reverence said across the table:
Father Healy, wonder II you or Lord
Justice Barry ever did such a thing as
kiss any one Under the mistletoe?" "Oh.
no. your Excellency." answered the wit.
Whenever the Lord Justice or myself
did anything in that line it was under
the rose"
At dinner party In Dublin. when
the ladies had left the dining room. his
friend Lord Justice Barry found himself
sitting next 10 the padre and remarked
to him: 'I say, Father James. did you
ever see a woman quite so decollete as
the lady who was opposite to you at
dinner?' Never" said the padre.
"since was weaned."
There Is an excellent story told in con-
nection with the famous and eloquent
William Magee. Archbishop Of York.
He made a habit OF entertaining in a
small way at tea or other light repast
such young aspirants for holy orders as
had approached the closing stage of
their novitiate. using the opportunity
for the purpose Of admonishing them on
some particular portion Of their future
duties and responsibilities. On q GER
tain occasion some ave young men were
his guests, among whom there was one
Irishman. The host questioned them as
to their. knowledge Of the spiritual COM
forts to be administered to the sick and
dying, of the manner in which such dis
tressing cases should be dealt with. and
SO forth: and then. satisfied with their
theoretical conception OF such matters.
he announced to them that he would
test their capabilities in a really prac-
tical way. He would retire to the next
room, he said. and lie down on a sofa.
representing for the time being the sick
or dying individual whom they might
be called upon to visit in the life that
was before them. They should come In.
he said. one at a time. and treat him
exactly as II he was a parishioner Of
their own part of the country. with
whose ways and manners Of life they
would be familiar. with much pertur-
baton the first four approached the
awesome task. They were still trem-
bling when they rejoined their COM
rades and showing siScs Of having had
but little success during the ordeal.
The Irishman's turn then came-and II
was the Bishop himself who revealed
the scene that followed. He entered tho
room boldly, stood a moment inside the
door. and then. turning with a look Of
severity and disappointment to the pros
trate form. exclaimed. well, William.
drunk again What are we to do with
you at all, at ail?" This was the last
occasion on which the practical test was
applied.