davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The New York herald., 1922-03-05

now in good Hibben's mind-says he"
"Who?" asked Hon. Mickelman. swapping
his watch lid idly.
Says Devery," said Hon. Quinn. again
beginning tapping his foot but keeping
his poise, says Devery to me. friends
he, Devery, looking out disgustedly over
a Broadway that was riotous with his cops
nightsticks and awash with the Yales-all
Of them spending freely the Harvards'
money, from the bar of the Hoffman House
up to Pabst's place Of business. two miles
north in Columbus Circle-yes, friends, and
up to Tom Healy's. in Lincoln Square,
Or
This Devery," here interrupted Hon.
Mickelman, he trying to keep smiling iovi-
ally out OF dirty look, "this Devery was
kind Of slow getting started on conversa-
tion, wasn't he eh, brother"
"Oh, quite on the contrary" replied Hon.
Quinn in a sweet voice, like as IL he was
Queen Mary or something serving tea to
somebody that the Queen was politely try
ing to make social hit with. ION the con-
trary, dear Mickelman. the late Chief Dew
cry was conversationally as quick on the
rebound, as, conversely. others know
who are impeded by blue black mustache
but meaning nothing personal. friend
Mickelman-are SLOW"
Right here Hon. Mickelman couldn't help
kind of covering his dyed mustache with
his hand, like as II he had to cough, and
The New York herald., 1922-03-05
SUITS AND SUITES.

sVV THEN asked the furniture
w salesman to show me bed
room suite" said Bill. "he
gave me vacant stare. 1t took him halt
a minute to grasp what was driving at.
oh. you mean a bedroom suit he said.
Right this way
"1t seems that furniture statesmen OBJ.
ject to the word snite.' They prefer suit
Let 'em suit themselves about it." con
tinued Bill with fiippancy that we depre-
Gated In the discussion OF 80 serious a
matter, but as for me--and the reason
may be that have Pollyanna instincts
and am partial to suiteness-r'm sticking
to the French pronunciation.
We string along with Bill II we were a
salesman In a department store and a
customer asked us for bedroom suit we'd
sell him pair OF pajamaA
The New York herald., 1922-03-05
DARN THAT OPERATOR"


TN a cigar store on Forty-second street
there is series of phone booths that
face large mirror. You can look out
Of the glass door OF your booth and see
yourself phoning. This has its advan-
tages. as you shall see.
The mirror revealed that in the booth
next to ours an important looking gentle
man was making a call. Two or three,
seconds after he had given the operator
the number he desired he began working
the receiver hook up and down. Then.
with frantic gesticulations, he barked into
the transmitter something that sounded
like, "Yes you bonehead, and / want 1t
quick!"
Three or four more seconds elapsed and
the feverish gentleman was again working
the receiver hook up and down. He
pounded 1t as savagely as IL it was the
head Of the operator he so plainly thought
was wronging him. Not that the girl
hadn't done him an injustice. At least
eight seconds had elapsed and he had not
yet secured his party. This was nothing IL
not scandalous.
AAoW vic uO'ii iOhB dIc yOu bOlub W
keep me waiting?" he beloved as he dealt
the hook another wailop. He bit his lips.
He pounded the side of the coin box. He
jiggled the hook some more. He gnashed
his teeth.
No movie villain about to commit a
murder ever wore a more terrible look.
Again he slammed the hook up and down.
"Confound the idiot" he shrieked, has
she fallen asleep or what?" Then he shook
his fist. And as he did he happened 70
look through the door Of the booth and see
his reflection in the mirror. He was taken
aback by the caricature that greeted his
gaze-that OF an irate old fool shaking his
fist and grinding his teeth.
And though II would be too much to
claim that the revelation changed his tenn
pestuous nature. In fairness to the old fire.
eater It must be recorded that a momen-
tary transformation took place. The mur-
derous look was gone. and. though faint
scowl still remained. II was plain that the
ridiculous picture reflected by the mirror
had>had its effect.
Perhaps the testy old critter is cussing
out another telephone operator at this very
moment. but we'll bet radium mine to a
ruble that he isn't doing IL in booth that
mirrors the act: the old boy does not like
things that cast reflections.
The New York herald., 1922-03-05
Anatomy Lesson in Verse

II VERY boy and girl will be inter
ested in the following rime. which
IL committed to memory. will b.
found to be as valuable as the familiar
Thirty days hath September:
How many bones in the human face?
Fourteen, when they're all in place.
How many bones in the human head?
Eight, my child. as I've often said.
How many bones in the human ear?
Four in each. and they help to hear.
How many bones in the human spine?
Twenty-four like a climbing vine.
How many bones in the human chest?
Twenty-four ribs, and two OF the rest.
How many bones the shoulders bind?
Two In each--one before, one behind.
How many bones in the human arm?
In each arm one; two in each forearm.
How many bones in the human wrist?
Eight in each, IL none are missed.
How many bones in the palm OF the hand
Five in each, with many band.
How many bones In the fingers tent
Twenty-eight. and by joints they bend.
How many bones in the human hip?
One in each like a dish they dip.
How many bones in the human thigh?
One In each. and deep they lie.
How many bones In the human kneesf
One In each. the kneepan. please.
The New York herald., 1922-03-05

showed imagination. Go on"
Hon. Quinn sitting down and encourag-
ing Hon. Mickelman to go on suddenly
seemed to take the sap out Of Hon.
Mickelman SO Hon. Mickelman faltered
and laid down on his words like a dog.
Hon. Quinn just looked at Hon. Mickelman
kind OF pityingiy for minute and then
stepped out into the aisle briskly.
Enough of this assinity!" cried Hon.
Quinn sternly. I'VE have business to 90
on with here tonight, and"
For instance?" asked sarcastically
Chairman Mayor Won Scoick. For in
stance, Councilman Quinn!"
For instance" repeated undauntingly
Hon. Quinn, Chief Devery. looking out
over the riot of young collegers, said in a
more concrete way what is now in the
mind of Friend Hibben.
Quinn says Devery. these college
lads are like a bottle They're well de-
veloped from the neck down. says Devery.
And that concrete statement, friends,
was all that could be said. And II was only
yesterday that President Hibben of Prince.
ton said to me- confidentially. Mr. Quinn,
says Hibben to me, where"
"Whereat was President Hibben brother
when he said this to you?" cried angrily
but excitedly and sort OF pleased Hon.
Mickelman at this point
The New York herald., 1922-03-05

when the Yales, that day, with ten Irish
on their football eleven, had ripped the
stats off OF the Harvards at New Haven
the Harvards remember. having but one
gifted footballist-and him colored man
on their team, the rest of the Harvards, un-
fortunately, consisting of ten white Unita-
rians. and all the ten Unitarians failing
to bring the outstanding dogma of their
unique religion into their game"
May suggest, Councilman QUINN" here
suggested Chairman Mayor Calvin Van
Scoick, also speaking kind Of sarcastically,
that touch of the unity you exalt would.
in your own remarks, expedite matters
II, say, may make the suggestion"
Indeed You may, your Honor" said Hon.
The New York herald., 1922-03-05

How many bones in the leg from the knee?
Two In each, We can plainly see.
How many bones in the ankle strong?
Seven in each, but none are long.
How many bones in the ball OF the foot?
Five In each as the palms are put.
How many bones in the toes half a score?
Twenty-eight, and there are no more.
And now altogether these bones may
wait.
IOLUMES have been written on the
" life OF bees: so full OF interest are
their habits. their laws and gov
ernment. A queen Is their greatest treas
ure, and they will guard her with their
lives, but only one queen will they tolerate,
although IL will happen at times that two
queens will be hatched.
When this does occur a deadly combat
begins the moment that the queens emerge
from their cradles, and Huber was the first
to remark an extraordinary feature In con.
nection with this combat. Each time
that the queens present their cuirasses to
each other in such a fashion that the
drawing OF the sting would prove mu.
tually fatal. the two warriors stricken with
simultaneous terror, divide and ny, only
to meet shortly after and separate again
should the double disaster threaten the
future OF their people. At last, however.
one OF them 10 bound to succeed in sur.
prising her ciumsier or less wary rival
and in killing her without risk to herself.
for the law Of the race has called for one
sacrifice only.
The New York herald., 1922-03-05
THREE FOR TEN,

WE wish some people weren't so
w soshdarned courteous. The other
day. as we made our departure
from restaurant we heard an impas-
stoned cry of, Hey. mister. como back!
You forgot something!"
Was the fervent appeal addressed to us?
Yes. When we turned around We saw a
waiter frantically beckoning as. We were
puzzled. What could we have forgotten?
Our hat was on our head, our coat was on
our back and our brief case in our hand.
What did the silly fellow want OF us?
We approached him. AS we reached his
table he stuffed something into our hand
It was the remnant Of q package of cigar
ettes-three cigarettes. to be exact-that
we had forgotten. What could we do but
take the cigarettes thank the waiter and
hand him dime. Stingy cuss that we are,
we didn't like the idea Of buying back, at
the rate Of three for dime. cigarettes that
had originally cost US penny piece
Confound these courteous guys!
The New York herald., 1922-03-05
When John Hibben Says So,
It's All RIGHT With Me-: Quinn

giving the dirtiest look so far-with every
body now beginning grinning all over Fire
House over the subtle chatting to and fro.
Nov, where was ~" asked Hon Quinn,
after giving back to Hon. Mickelman the
longest look so far but the dirtiest ever
seen in Fire House.
1.-THE last heard Of you," said Hon. Mick
Gilman, rising into the aisle, was that you
were standing at Weber & Fieldss stage
door. wearing a black sack suit. black
shoes, white underclothes marked C. F..
x. O. gold linked cun buttons, pass book
showing deposit of s3s in the Union Dime
Savings Bank, bunch Of keys. buttoned
shoes, general look Of a citizen who had
been In the water for eight days and the
Chief of Police Of New York
himself trying to protect the
young, beautiful but so far
virtuous chorus girls Of old
Weber & Fields from" ~
go on, Mickelman." said r.
Hon. Quinn. sitting down Ns
pleasantly and sitting easily &|1
with an ankle in his hand.
"It's the first time. Nickel
man." continued Hon. Quinn ~
appreciatively. that you've Zl
The New York herald., 1922-03-05

other for the rest OF Council meeting, pleas
antly, but savagely.
II would address you this night, friends.
began again, pleasantly, Hon. Quinn, but
beginning to tap his foot nervously. ION
the great subject of the fiat but recently
promulgated by my old college friend, Hon.
John Grier Hibben, friends-the same,
friends, who is president of our neighbor-
ing Princeton University-and grand
school it is-though Presbyterian.
MY good friend, John Hibben, I re-
peat"
which is the best thing you do, Quinn"
grunted wheezingly Hon. Mickelman down
between the chair legs, he trying to bend
over to get off his rubbers and breathe at
the same time.
Hon. Quinn's Fast One
Makes MickeIman Blush
Hon. Mickelman's face could not be seen
by We scribe, but he sounded like his face
wore dirty look while interrupting.
"Mickelman, you bring the blush of mod
.esty to me with your superlatives" again
pleasantly replied Hon. Quinn. Pray let
you rather say that artful repetition is one
OF the things do better than most not
best
But to repeat" repeated Hon. Quinn.
When my good friend John Hibben.
> friends, lately implored the parents Of his
young scholars at Princeton not to supply
them with automobiles while at their
studies Friend John had a great thought
i'll
I'm glad to know, brother" interrupted
again Hon. Mickelman. now without his
rubbers and therefore breathing freely
again, that in this State of New Jersey
there is left at least one man with great
thoughts in his head"
Another man with great thoughts in his
head, colleague" quickly corrected Hon.
Quinn, he always being there with his fast
one throughout all nine innings.
Yes, Mickelman," continued kind OF
pathetically Hon. Quinn, "and when Friend
Hibben or myself are out OF the State, or
vice versa. the days are lonely for the one
of us left alone till the other gets back!
Speaking of Unity
The New York herald., 1922-03-05
Speaking of Unity
Recalls Football Game

Friend Hibben, friends. had a great
thought in his mind, say. Says Hibben
to himself, when banning automobiles
among his young charges, The chief differ
ence,' says Hibben-which 10 bad spelling
generation or so back. Of the decent Irish
name OF Hobansethe chief difference be-
tween the violently insane and twenty
year-old college lads is says Hibben, "a
difference of residence only
"or friends, as the late and last Chief OF
Police OF New York, Big Bill Devery--late
Lord have mercy on him, OF New York,
say-and taking orders from no one this
night. wherever he may be, high or low
as Devery rimself said to me In front OF
the old Weber C Fields--it was one night
The New York herald., 1922-03-05
Ramb|in' :ROund
By ANTHONY WAINE.

Mickey the collidee. II was wicked wal
lop. For the fifth time the manly form
of the joy OF Joisey City and the floor OF
the ring were in the closest possible prox-
unity. This time Mickey stayed put. He
recognized that the Wof-a determined
one-was at the door and that it was use
less to try to chase him.
II dinnaw," moaned sad voice to our
right as the crowd rose to go, ivan iver
suffered loike I done tonight. Call 1t
sintimint or what We will, but | still behave
me counthryman is the betther man. He
wasn't thrained proper, that's what's the
trouble. The mkt tonne he'll thrain proper
and bate him, marruk me wurrud. Yis, he
wasn't thrained roight, gintlemin An
shure twas most unfortunate"
~ 9TH Collins and Larsen have red
Is hair. When. early in the first
round, fan shouted Soak him.
Red!" 1t was hard to tell for whom the
simple imperative sentence was intended.
Larsen clarified matters by deciding that
the command was for him and sent
series of wallops to Collins's stomach.
Larsen is nothing IL not obliging.
The New York herald., 1922-03-05
By FRANK WARD o'MALlEY.
BuHRsvrrLE Crrr, March 4.

- EFT you never, my friends" began
Councilman Cornelius r. X.
Quinn. learnedly and impress
sively, at the opening Of the regular Friday
night meeting of Borough Council in Fire
House here last night-"let you never,
friends make the mistake of confounding
intelligence with fresh-laid freshmen in
college, Or"
"Or with a fresh-laid Borough Council
man." said sarcastically Hon. Luther
Mickelman. he here entering Fire House
with his umbrella.
TRUE, Friend Mickelman," agreed
Hon. Quinn pleasantly. Nor with
a soft-shelled cold storage one
filled with what we students of the
physical sciences know to our sor-
row as sulphureted hydrogen"
So Hon. Mickelman took OF his
yellow wet slicker and sat down
with a dirty look. which steadily A
grew dirtier and dirtier as Hons.
Quinn and Mickelman chaffed each
The New York herald., 1922-03-05

Quinn very gra-
cious and kind OF
humble. who am
I, your Honor, to
interfere with your
simple pleasures?
ITO r g 8 u m e.
friends.
Says Big
Bill Devery
to me, In line
~ with tn Q
t h o u g h I
Monte Vista journal and Monte Vista graphic-reporter., 1922-04-08

The Quiyera club will meet Tues
day evening, April is, at the HON
OF Mrs John Freeman.
Monte Vista journal and Monte Vista graphic-reporter., 1922-04-08

Mrs. Irons entertained tn. c. T.
G. club Wednesday. Besides a large
attendance of members there were
the following guests. Mrs, Riggen-
bach. Mrs. Gawthrop and Mrs. Culp.
Monte Vista journal and Monte Vista graphic-reporter., 1922-04-08

MIR and Mrs. Milt Rupert were
he dinner guests OF Mr.. and Mrs.
]. l.. Freeman Tuesday evening.
The w. c. I. U. met at the home
of Mrs. r c. Jones Wednesday
afternoon. Miss Winona Jewel. the
national secrtary, gave very in
teresting talk on The General Work
OF the w. C. r. u.." which was en-
joyed by large attendance.
Mrs. T. c. Thome entertained the
Pivot Club Tuesday. The afternoon
was spent in playing bridge. Mrs.
l.. J. Chapman won the prize for
having the highest score. Dainty
refreshments were served to Mes
danes Milt Rupert, l.. J. Chapman.
II. =. Savage, John Macarthur. f.
Brown. Robert Macarthur. Henry
Chapman, Erl Bigelow. and Miss
Emma Glen Macarthur.
Mrs. Chas. Edman entertained the
Tuesday Social club. The afternoon
was spent in playing bridge, after
which delicious refreshments were
served. Those present were Mes
danes l.. X. Sims. Chas. Akers, Jas
Ward. X. l.. Stitt. l.. b. Wallace.
kavalec. ROLAND Peters. Oscar Lin
derholm and Geo. Godfrey.
The Royal Neighbors held their
regular meeting at the Woodman
hall Wednesday evening.
Mrs. W. NJ Wood entertained
Thursday afternoon in honor OF
Mrs. George Godfrey. who has
moved To their home in the country.
Dainty refreshments were served
Those present besides the guest OF
honor were Mesdames ID. c. vaiie.
X. r. Mitchell. Cephas Bowsher.
Chas. Edman. John l.. Freeman. X.
+. Clark. X. W. High. and Miss
Ze,a Blankenbaker.
Misses Louise Fogle and Zola
kavalec were the dinner guests OF
Misses Edith and Fern Mccormick
Sunday.
The Quiyera club will meet Tues
day evening. April is. at the home
OF Mrs. John Freeman.
The regular monthly meeting OF
the Christian Missionary Society Will
be held at the home of Mrs. Gray.
Thursday, April IA. Every member
is urged to b. present. visitors al
ways welcome. \ very interesting
program is being arranged. and the
mite boxes viii be op.nedat this
meeting.
Monte Vista journal and Monte Vista graphic-reporter., 1922-04-08

We have just received shipment
of the celebrated Gossard Corsets
and Brassieres. aSta
In the gents furnishing room you
will find special Easter silk shirts.
silk knit ties and a new shipment of
men and boys felt and cloth hats.
We have added some very pretty
gingham dresses in the ready-to-
wear department this week; diff
ferent colors trimmed with white
organdie and fancy braid.
sss go
Our Easter windows have a won
derful array Of artificial flowers.
The sweet peas and carnations are
almost impossible to tell from real
ones.
We Just received large shipment
of Kirschbaum clothing for men and
young men. These are exceptional
values and the styles and patterns
are in keeping with the trend OF
fashion for spring. Prices range
rom $500 to $4,000.
Read our advertisement.
Corrosive Sublimate for those
potatoes To increase the yield.
FULLER DRUG GO.
Monte Vista journal and Monte Vista graphic-reporter., 1922-04-08

A young peoples chorus was or
ranized Thursday evening. The Of
ncers elected We're Dodderidr.
blackstone. PRESIDENT; Lois Bradley.
secretary: Harvey Johnson. tr.asur.
.r. The chorus viii sing at tn.
Methodist church this Sunday eve
ming. The young people are having
\ contest with Robert Jones and
Mary burssit. captains. which will
terminate June first by banquet
served to tn. winning side.
Monte Vista journal and Monte Vista graphic-reporter., 1922-04-08
) FAssETT's STORE NEWS .

Success depends upon backbone
not wishbone.''
II we wish to succeed. all the
wishes We may make will avail us
nothing II We do not use backbone
with 1t. 1t has been said that nine
tenths OF success OF any kind is
hard work. We will also enjoy the
success we have obtained when 1t
comes from our own efforts.
-
In the grocery, window you will
find on display house made OF
Classic soap. and the person who
guesses the nearest number of bars
used in this house, will receive a
very pretty set OF dishes. Just buy
one dollars worth of soap and you
are entitledd TO guess. This is
a good laundry soap.
The store is taking on new
coat of paint, which will improve
the looks OF 1t very much. Clinton
Wyley is doing the job.
This is clean up week, We ar.
making special prices on soap.
brooms. washing powder and other
things used for this purpose.
Ralph Baird and Geo. Baird ma de
a trip north OF the river this week
with a load OF furniture.
Several OF our store ladies have
been taking early morning walks.
they must believe In the old saying
that the early bird catches the
worm
The store was closed one hour
Thursday afternoon in order that
our people might attend the funeral
OF John Prather.
A no button union suit for men is
now IN our stock. This Is certain
ly big step In advance as this suit
fits perfectly without the aid OF a
single button.
Mr.. Shull the arch preseryer
shoe man was here this week with
the fall line OF shoes We viii have
some new styles to show you about
Angus, first in oxfords.
The grocery department has been
distributing samples OF Grape Nuts
and Postum Cereal the past week.
these are both Well known. having
been ON the market number Of
years.
This week We are going TO have
special sale on silk biouses.
crepe de chine, minuet. georse,ie
and ponsee silk. Also wash waists.
silk sweaters and dresses In taffe,s
and canton crepe.
Monte Vista journal and Monte Vista graphic-reporter., 1922-04-08

Don't take ciisnor. with last
year, t"rmai'i"hydr whether You
Kept II over or n dealer. Ikmand
f's'>h goods. Fuller Drug Go.
Monte Vista journal and Monte Vista graphic-reporter., 1922-04-08
. . . . . .

This week We are going to have
a special sal. on silk blouses,
crepe de chine. minuet. georSci,e
and ponsee silk Also wash waists.
silk sweaters and dresses In taffe,s
and canton crepe.
Monte Vista journal and Monte Vista graphic-reporter., 1922-04-08

The grocery department has been
samples OF Grape Nuts
and Postum Cereal the past week.
these are both well known. having
been on the market a number Of
years.
Monte Vista journal and Monte Vista graphic-reporter., 1922-04-08

Mr. shull the arch preserve
shoe man was here this week witt
the fall line OF shoes. We viii hav'
some new styles to show you abou
August first in oxfords.
Monte Vista journal and Monte Vista graphic-reporter., 1922-04-08

Mrs. o. +, Baker entertained at
dinner Monday noon. Her guests
were Mrs. Carmichael. Mrs. Allison.
Mrs Whitmer. Mrs. Saathoff. Mrs.
Morrow. Mrs. Irons, Mrs Short. Miss
sa~in. Mrs. A. W. Culp and Mrs.
Verne Bowsher.
Monte Vista journal and Monte Vista graphic-reporter., 1922-04-08

Mrs, Bodine and daughter Miss
Hazel entertained the Christian
Ladies' Ala Society Thursday after
noon, \ very good attendance en-
Joycd the social tim. and dainty
Refreshments were served by tn.
hort.sscs
Monte Vista journal and Monte Vista graphic-reporter., 1922-04-08

Mrs. Frank Collier entertained
the Wednesday bridge Club. The
afternoon was spent In playing
bridge after which dainty refresh.
ments were served TO Mesdames
John Corr-ii. Fri cass~ii. e. Bo~sh-
er. John Freeman. W. J. Clark.
Eidoa Graves. Abnsr varrow. oiin
Beatty. Jas. veerksmp. Ray Hons.
ton. Ben 0ibson and Claude Ditto.
Monte Vista journal and Monte Vista graphic-reporter., 1922-04-08

A no button union suit for men &
now In our stock This Is certain
ly a big step In advance as this sui
fits perfectly without the aid OF
single button.
Monte Vista journal and Monte Vista graphic-reporter., 1922-04-08

Misses Louise Fogle and Zola
karalec were the dinner guests OF
Misses Edith and Fern Mccormick
Sunday.
Monte Vista journal and Monte Vista graphic-reporter., 1922-04-08

Tn. Ladies' Aid Of IN. Pres
terrain church met Thursday az
noon in the church parlors.
president. Mrs. l. u. Sylvester I
sided over very interesting m.
Ing. over thirty member. being pl
rnt. Lixh, refreshments ~.r. -
cd by tn. hos,esscs at tn. close
the meeting.