davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1922-05-09

some strange DlIQs TOosl IN 1aInlLy
trees.
server. y
They call it shortcake because it
doesn't last long.
Doctors get by because they have
inside information.
Most artificial bait is made to catch
fishermen. not fish
90
The village gossip never feels the
need Of a vacation.
Opportunity fools a man about as
often as he takes it in.
When YOU have to bear it, about the
hardest part is to grin.
After a girl marries she begins to
lose interest in love stories.
o.
Proposed tariff on roofing won't re-
duce the overhead In building.
The chatting dish is the advance
agent Of the indigestion tablet
-u--
The only reliable sign OF better
times is the Help Wanted" sign.
o.
The equipment OF every photogra-
pher should include bathing suits.
O.
The man who agrees with every
body soon becomes very disagreeable.
II a mans wife cuts his hair, he is
entitled to lot more sympathy than
he gets.
II man has failed once or twice
ne knows how to enjoy subsequent
success.
Conan Doyle tells us what heaven is
like. cuss your wife's folks to find
what hell Is like.
They have found singing fish in the
ocean. Probably the result Of pouring
booze overheard.
IN georgia the wind picked up a
load OF corn and carried 1t to town.
May have trade wind.
Ford says his ambition was to make
a SO-cent watch. But he found 1t
would run and he called 1t car.
%
II is notable day In the life OF any
young man when he passes up a good
housekeeper in order to marry good
shopper.
The Europeans accuse US of being
dollar chasers." We are certainly
having our hands full chasing down
the dollars we lent Europe.
Though others may sadly complain
Their business now is dead
I find that mine Is holding up"
The humorous bandit said
%
Another advantage a married man
has is he never has to bother about
making up his mind about anything
That is one little Job his wife takes
over
Various new improvements In auto
mobiles are advertised. but what seems
70 be mostly needed these days is an
automobile that can knock d speeding
locomotive off a grade crossing.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1922-05-09
ONE REEL YARNS
THE POT OF GOLD

o3G ~ lGhF
Betty, and look
at the rainbow. -
called Russell.
His little sister
trotted out to
the back porch
and looked with
round eyes at
the bow IN the
sky. Don't you
wish you could
find the pot Of
gold at the end
Of the rainbow 7''
he leased.
rs there real
IN q M - -He1
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1922-05-09

aKniekerbockers for women are not
going well. It looks as If they were on
their last legs now.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1922-05-09
MILLER AND DONKEY.

Fable: Once upon time there was
a famous author who recognized all
the scenes IN the screen version OF his
book.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1922-05-09

Many chicken. wise as an owl, is
taken for lark and acts like a goose,
say the old hens.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1922-05-09

Some men are so cautious they won't
buy goldfish without worrying over
it's turning to brass.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1922-05-09
To.nAX,s pIIzzIE

Form a word square from words
meaning to jog, cord, Enclosed. and
a portable shelter.
Answer to yesterdays: Three
shred; four-bout
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1922-05-09

II we could talk Latin, we would
say that our teachers motto is SOC
ct uum."
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1922-05-09

Some strange birds roost in family
trees.
Every mans task IS his life pre-
server.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1922-05-09

Conan Doyle tells us what heaven is
like. Cuss your wifes folks to find
what hell is like.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1922-05-09

II man has failed once or twice
ne knows how to enjoy subsequent
success.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1922-05-09

They call it shortcake because it
doesn't last long
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1922-05-09

They have found singing fish in the
ocean. Probably the result of pouring
booze overheard.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1922-05-09

In Georgia. the wind picked up a
load OF corn and carried 1t to town
May have a trade wind.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1922-05-09

Another advantage a married man
has IS he never has to bother about
making UP his mind about anything.
That is one little Job his wife takes
over
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1922-03-22
JAcKsoNVILLE's NEW SCHOOL PLAN
Miami Metropolis

According to a news story in the Jacksonville
Metropolis. .Iacksonvilles public school system is
to undergo important change within another
year. The change is to he brought about with
the building of two junior high schools that are
expected to take care of the situation for a few
years at least, although Jacksonviles school pop
ulation is growing rapidly and constantly calling
for more buildings and equipment.
Under the new plan, tlfe schools will be operat-
ed on what is known as the 6-3-3 plan. Six years
will be given to the elementary classes: and chill
dren of the first six grades will be housed in
buildings OF their own The next three grades
will be known the Junior High school, and
will provide for the work of the seventh, eighth
and the present first syearEof high school work
This will leave the three highest classes of the
schools, the second, third and fourth year of the
high school, for the division known as the Senior
High school.
This $50 plan has found much favor with edu-
Gators in various parts of the United States The
system permits the segregation of children of
the same age and knowledge and guards against
the troubles that always come when small boys
and girls are housed in the same school building
Often crowded school buldngs-in which the
big boys and big girls are taught
Possibly Miami will some time adopt the ga
When it can be put into effect without make
shifts, when the buildings for the various div
sions of the school system can be provided, with
intelligent thought for the needs of good school
building, it is altogether likely that the 6-3.3 di
vision Of the twelve years of school can bring the
best results
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1922-03-22
RUPTURE EXPERT HERE
Seeley, Famous in this Speciality,
Called to Barlow

F. H. Seeley, of Chicago and Phil
adelphia, the noted truss expert. will
personally be at the Oaks Hotel, and
will remain in Barlow Friday only
March "a. Mr. Seeley says: The
Spermatic Shield VIII not only retain
any case of rupture perfectly, but con-
tracts the opening in 10 days on the
average case. Being a vase advance
ment over all former methods-exem-
plifying instantaneous effects imme-
diately appreciate and withdrawing
any strain or position no matter the
size or location. Large or difficult
cases, or incisional ruptures follow
ing operations) specially solicited.
This instrument received the only
award in England and in Spain, pro-
ducing results without surgery, injec-
tions, medical treatment or prescrip.
lions. Mr.. Seeley has documents from
the United States government. Wash
ington, D. c., for inspection. He will
be glad to demonstrate without
charge or fit them If desired. Bust
ness demands spreveht stopping at any
other place in this section. 40.
F. S.-Every statement in this notice
has been verified before the Federal
and State Courts.-F. II. Seeley. ...
Home Office, III No. Dearborn St.,
Chicago
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1922-03-22
ON A HIGH PLANE

The address of Commander Hanford McNider
of the American Legion at last weeks Legion
meeting at West Palm Beach when the State
Legion was in session, is being commented on fav-
orably in many parts of the country. His position
as head Of the national organization of World
War soldiers is one Of peculiar Importance because
the Legion already exercising strong influence on
the affairs of the country. What it does and what
it thinks are therefore vitality interesting so that
when the commander CT this host of men said.
We must build this Legion of ours so big. so
strong and so fine and keep it so strong and
straight and American that when we ask for as
sistance for the disabled men in the homes and the
hospitals and for those men financially disabled, the
community will say IF the Legion is for it, we are
for it, " the conviction comes that under such
leadership and imbued with such high principles,
the Legion must necessarily be an influence for
good in our country for the righting of wrongs
against the men who did so much for their country
at time when all the world seemed doomed to
suffer from the threatened success of the powers
of hell Commander McNider has nailed the
Legion's flag high up on the mast where all may
see and read and understand. Under such lead
ership and actuated by such principles, the or
ganization of soldiers will continue to grow in in
Auence for good
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1922-03-22
SAUSAGE AND DOGS

Editor Benjamin of the Ocala Star recently
found himself in sore trouble all because of the
makeup of a certain issue CT the Star in which
the story of the death Of some valuable bird dogs
was Immediately followed by sausage advertise
ment of local meat market. This is the way
the story runs as revealed by the state press:
will our good friend and able editor, Brother
Benjamin, of the Ocala Star, kindly explain how
the makeup man on his paper printed the follow
ing items in the exact order here given:
Mr. Henry Livingston had the misfortune
CT having his four valuable bird dogs die the past
week lie not only deplores the loss of his pets
and hunting companions. but in a financial way
the loss is considerable
Our sausage is always fresh, as we make it
up daily. Main Street Market Phone lO8'-
Phil Armstrong in the Times-Union
We can explain it. Phil but we won't. Suffice
it to say that are keeping out CT shotgun range
of the Main Street Market these days.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1922-03-22
COLD STORAGE A GREAT NEED

Il is either a feast or famine. At this time of
year Polk county is raising and shipping great
quantities Of oranges, grapefruit, tangerines, cab
bages, and beans. Any Of these articles Ct food
can be obtained at local stores in any quantity
desired and at reasonable prices. In a few short
weeks The market will be bare of these commodities
except IN so far eHcrprislEg merchants may
import vegetables from northern points After the
first of June it will be case Ct goodby to citrus
fruits. 1t will be possible 20 buy Ohio or New
York tomatoes and lettuce The solution CT this
entire situation is cold storage. Cabbagcs that arc
now going begging for buyers could be put away
in cold storage for withdrawal as needed through
the summer season. The same is true of grape
fruit. Manager II. l.. Collins Of the Southland
Citrus Products Company is faced with difficult
problem in that it is necessary for his plant to man
ufacture an overpus Of products within the period
when the raw materials are available instead of be-
ing able 10 withdraw supplies Of the grapefruit as
needed all through the year. Capital invested in
a huge cold storage plant in Lakeland and in many
other towns in south Florida would prove Of great
benefit to the growers Of citrus fruits, to the manu-
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1922-03-22
THE EROOK

am the brook to which the bards a thousand
odcs have chanted. and am loaded to the guards
with health, il must be granted; | slip along by
church and school, you hear my merry laughter;
and gents who drink my waters cool vii! have
no morning after. | come from clear and crystal
springs where Nature did her brewing; boy
crago for queens and kings, my course | am pur-
suing; yet come refuse my waters chasto, my
healthful pillows scorning and they're the ones
who have taste unhoy in the morning ! chat
ter, chatter as l now to join the brimming river,
] do not make mems noses glow, or set their
nerves aquiycr. l do not gather deadly drugs
while winding through tho valleys; | am not sold
in gallon jugs in dark and dirty alleys Jour.
ney through the pleasant vale, through meadows
cloveracented; | haven't sent man to Jail
since | was first invented Through bosky deIs
my waters purr in shade that makes them chilly;
and yet some delegates prefer a drink that knocks
them silly, l chatter, chatter, as | flow, brook
let blithe and frisky, and yet misguided sports
will so and buy assassin whskey.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1922-03-22
EFFECTIVE ADVERTISING

Clearwater is just wee bit jealous Of ST.
Petersburg because ST. Pete has put over big
bit of publicity that has caused comment in all
parts of the country. Whoever planned the cam
paign deserves great big medal and check for
a substantial amount 1t was the organization of
so-caIIed purity league that started things going
Pictures Of St Petes fair bathers began to appear
in newspapers and magazines accompanied by
lengthy stories about how rigid or non-rigd the
pursts proposed to be and how the city authorities
told them to go way back and sit down" and
not butt into somehing that did net concern them.
Clever piece Ct work that! Argument over one
piecers followed and finally it was decided that
the girls had perfect right to put perfect form
on the inside CT so-called one-piece bathing suits
that exactly ike these worn by mere men, kav-
ing short ovter skirt not at all immodest nor
unbccoming 1t Is not too late for Lakeland and
Barlow and Winter Haven to start something of
the same kind fer summer lake bathing.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1922-03-22
AS Others See 1t
EVERY CITY NEEDS AN "EARL GILBERT"
COrlando Morning Sentinel.)

(Orlando Morning Sentinel)
"a magnificent gift The town of Mt. Dora
is to be congratulated upon receiving from Mr.
Earl Gilbert deed for a tract of land on Lake
Dora to be used for park. The tract in ques
ton is one of the beauty spots of the town
and it is doubtful if the possibilities of this
of Florida. Access TO the lake is easy and the
view of the lake surroundings is all that can
be desired Mr.. Gilbert gives strip along
the lake front one hundred feet wide for i'm
mediate possession but retains a life lease of
the balance of the tract about five acres This
is to be known as Gilbert Park and to future
Mt Doraites will afford one of its greatest
attractions"
The above news item is from the Eustis Lake
Region. The little town of Mt. Dora has park
and as it develops and grows that park will be a
rich blessing to the people. Any man, whoever
whatever he may be, is comforting untold
wealth upon the present and future generations
when he bestows upon them park in which to
play and rest Earl Gilberts name will outlive
many another name in Mt. Dora. Such generosity
is what other cities must have if they to be
wellrounded and symmetically perfect Every city
needs an Earl Gilbert"
Lake county seems to be filled with phllan-
tropists, large and small. In the same paper
read that A w. hewitt of Groveland has
conferred treasured gift upon Montverde:-
"Montverde School Receives Gift for Ath-
letic Field. A. w. hewitt of Groveland, has this
week given a sum of money to the Montverde
Industrial school which will equip its splendid
ten acre athletic field This land was set aside
for athletic purposes by President H. P. Car
penter when he laid out the plan of the forty
acre campus of this growing school and Mr.. Ne
Wits generous gift will make the development
of this field Immediately possible. The field will
be named hewitt field in honor of the generous
gift just received"
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1922-03-22
Nj. MIS- OFF WEEK
Winter Haven Chief.)

This is provoking time to be running a news,
paper in Florida. Generally We can write about
the weather with some degree of satisfaction but
the last few weeks we would write up spiel
about the sunshine and flowers and then before
the paper was on the press we would have to
hike fer the pine knot pile. Then we would cuss
the weather and when the paper came out the
sun would be shining to beat the band While
this is unusual we suppose we should not com.
plain az we have had no frost around the Town
OF a Hundred Lakes that has hurt even tender
shrubs Pretty fair brand after all, but then
we reckon we have to kcik about something
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1922-03-22

features of citrus products and to the buying
public.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1922-03-22
Member of Tho Associated Press.
Us6Iss1SAsep
\4fdfSN
FINANCING THE SCHOOLS

Gainesville and Clearwater are two FLORIDA
cities lust now much worried over the local school
situation in their respective communities. Unless
sufficient money can be raised with which to pay
the teachers, the schools will be compelled to
close for the remainder of the season. Up IN
Gainesville the hat was passed among the citizens
with the goal Of $4,000 in sight but, after more
OF less thorough canvas, little moro than $1,000
was obtained The same condition threatens sew
eral towns and cities in Florida and it is now
very evident that the next legislature will have
plenty TO do if it will tackle this vastly important
problem praycrfulIy and thoughtfully, determined
to hrd a solution that will be solution and not
postponement of an inevitable evil day Columns
could be written en- this subject of schools but
briefly this much may be said, that scme drastic
action must be taken if the young people who
arc growing up to manhood and womanhood are
to become useful citizens. No state can af-
ford TO neglect It's schools and Florida will be
rcmiss in its duty and guilty CT a grave ofensc
against its future citizens if it fails to provide
for them ample educational facilities.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1922-03-22

Cricket Hicks fooled some of his
friends Wednesday afternoon when he
placed lot of empty tin cans in his
buggy attached a horn to the spat-
terboard and drove right fast down
the road, and of course everybody
thought he had bought secondhand
auto.
If everybody along the rural mail
routes would move about until they
were lined up in alphabetical order
it would be much easier for the mail
carriers.
Sile Pildew says one disconveni-
ence about talking lot is that your
pipe goes out and half the time you
haven't got another match
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1922-03-22

Europe seems to be getting on its financial
feet quite steady Lamont of J. P. Morgan &
Co., says that $l,769,OOO,OOO of the private
loans, secured from bankers and citizens in this
country, have been paid. The total of these
private loans has thus been reduced to $8l8 O00.-
000 Naturally the everyday citizen will con-
clude that if Europe can pay its debts to indi-
yiduas ard private banking institutions in the
United States, ii can also pay the American people
a whole, what it owes them
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1922-03-22
HERE'S THE LIMIT
(Tarpon Springs Leader J

. ;.
We have been going to church good deal late.
" and have learned lot of things about our
responsibility to our fellow man, 80 that practical.
ly all OF the seltshness has gone out of our
heart and yesterday at dinner when the light of
our life placed the dessert before us VIC pushed
ii aside saying: No, dear who knows but that
the eating of pruncs might cause our brother to
9.umble?
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1922-03-22
Fine Tailoring

The new Easter Fashions are here
double breasted suits, Norfolks, three
button single breasted styles, sport
models; all very clever ideas. Every
body thinks they re great; SO will you.
Order yours now.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1922-03-22

If mere people thought always of the good
ness that lives in the world instead of the wicked.
ness that abounds. the world would be better.
AS man thinkeh in his heart so is he It's al
easy to think good as evil, and most of the latter
is of mans own making
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1922-06-09

His group 81 II so so TO Robin
son Fan sundas MN for sim
al wv. snonse fll net tas
morning service Bal Iah Ghapel
at i 1 3, clock. and his group VIII
also go to Middleton for an eyens
ing meeting.
w. n. Barnes. with his team
VIII put on q full evening sprograms
at Pleasant Valley. v ~ I. Cole
bank with his group will hold az,
4evangelistic service 1T Walnut:
Grove in the evening!
c.. c. Denhc:a VIII lead his for
ces to Riyesville where they nj ~
have charge>of the evening services
in the NJ. E. Church. South. s. os
Feaster is assigned to the CofaS
NJ. E. Church for s o'clock Sunsfa
evening, and good meeting isl
expected. 3s;,
The presto dent of the club. Char.
les w. Evans, with some helpers
will conduct the eyenin s. service
at the Farmin gton M Sharchs
South. in the absence of the pas
tor. The club secretary. Arllthnr
p. Jones, with the assist lance Of NE
C. Tough w. L.. Satterfie1d and
others, will hold the evening ser
vice at the Watson NJ ,hurch.s
while the pastor is engaged In d
meeting elsewhere.
The club will meet for luncheon
next Monday noon at tn Y.s
"A. Building.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1922-06-09
SUMMERS COUNTY
VALUATION DOUBLED

CHARLESTON, W. Va, June
9.-The assessed valuation of real
estate in Summers County this
year has been increased APP
proximately 100 per cent, aggre-
eating 1000 more than in
1921, according to figures re-
ceived by w. S. Hallanan, state
tax com missioner, from Assessor
B. E. Sims of Hinton.
The valuation of real estate in
1921 will be $S,736,010, as com
pared with S4,O30,600 last year.
Reporting to the tax commits
sioner, Assessor Sims said in
concluding the assessment of the
county, can say I have put forth
my very best efforts to bring about
a legal assessment of Summers
County
He added that sit will be noted
that there is a reduction for 1922
in Greenbrier District" that ac-
counted for this by saying that
Bellepoint was formerly in the
rural assessment and now is re-
garded as separate.
Commissioner Hal1anan eX-
presses satisfaction at the figures,
saying that with the cooperation
of the assessors, the state has been
able to increase the valuation to
such an extent that it will be
possible to have uniform valua-
ton throughout the state and
taxes will be equal in all counties.
The plan to limit levies of taxa
ton will offset the increased val
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1922-06-09
I8uation and VIII even distribute

suation and Will evenly distrtbute
burden eyerywh eTe.
.Theta1commtssionsrEyesterday
received figures also from. Assess-
or Cook Of Raleigh County show
Ing that the increase will be ap-
Droximately s11.o93.327.
The detailed figures In Raleigh
are: Z "a
Marsh Fork Dfstrict-1e22, S4.-
73e,155; 1921, s3.1s7,s4o;; in
crease S1,651,3s5.
e Shady Spring District-1922.
s4,1e6,63o: 1921, s3,72s,216' in
crease, S467,415.
Clear Fork District-1s22, s3.-
650,477: 1921, S2,962,097s in
crease S6SS,3S0.
The estimated increase tn Rich
mond District is S1,50o,Oo0: and
Assessor Sims previously reported
an increase Of $6,sS65177.