davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1922-09-26
An AUkUard Question

IF the Treasury had been locked
against those who were looting
Il it while our boys in uniform
were hazarding their lives, there
would now be plenty of funds to
meet the repudiated debt Of honor.
What, by the way, has become of
the promised recovery of this loot
and the condign punishment of the
more criminal lootersl
The Washington times., 1922-09-26
WAYSIDE WISDOM
THE HELPFUL INJUNCTIONS
Copyright. 1s21D
BY S. E.. Kiser

The HELfF OL LNJ oANSiioANo
CsINCE injunctons are the order of the day,
- propose this little bunch of
applications:
Let the courts hand down an order right
away
Enjoining future back-fence
Conversations;
Stop nightmares from annoying us at nlght'
And please prevent pernicious weeds
from growing;
Enjoin the dogs that are inclined to bite'
Make ROSTERS quit their early morning
Growing.
7 ETS have iniunctions issued to prevent
IL The rabbits and the moles from
multiplying,
To stop the critics of the Government,
And cause the teething babies to cease
crying;
Enjoin the rain from falling when We plan
Excursions that are best In pleasant
weather,
And let the courts make haste to put ban
On skidding that brings motor cars
together.
WILL the judges please enjoin the
w profiteers,
Who intend to take advantage of
conditions?
Let orders of the courts allay the fears
OF those in dread of losing their
positions.
It's time for putting legalzed restraint
Upon the wives whose nagging Is
pernicious;
Hand down an order stopping all complaint
From those who think divorce is
something vicious.
7 ETS have injunctions issued, when We
II buy,
To keep the stocks we have bought
from falling;
Restrain the little boys from asking why"
Enjoin nocturnal cats from
caterwauling.
Injunctions should be issued to protect
The chorus girls from bald heads who
are smirking,
And, also, If their daddies don't object,
Enjoin .the rich mems sons from
overworking.
The Washington times., 1922-09-26
BEAUTIFUL EYES
By "BUGS" BAER.

FLAPPERS' Auxiliary Of X. X:
l. X. now step gracefully around
preserving law and order in
dainty sizes.
THEY call 'emselves Ladies Of
i Invisible Eye. When that
eve starts flirting with you. it's
time to buy your new shoes and
wear them out on some neutral
boulevard.
RoY SHOUTS of X. X. X.
~ Now kamfire Girls have
joined.
INSTEAD of feathering their
nests, ladies feather their
neighbors. Often heard OF In
visible Hooks and Eyes. Now
they use hooks on their home
folks.
7 ,ATEST stunt OF Ladies of In.
- visible Ears was to hoss-
whip woman in small town.
Clown who wrote that man
, works from sun to sun never
heard Of X. X. X. entertainment
committee.
FEM.I.E sowing circles now
uEr.udC .'uI gcUns to sew
some drop stitches In split jaws
or to rattle off six or seven fancy
slabs of needlewOrk in busted
scalps.
MOTTO Of L. I. L. is Ladies
AVA First. Mercy second.
SUBURBS are getting very
anaemiC when II is necessary
for ladies to slug one another.
Haven't they got any gentlemen
out there?
WOMEN shouldn't be punched
w except in self-defense. If
ladies don't put stopper on these
stylish gang fights, we'll have
to import some Belgium police
mice.
IF we've got to be tarred and
fea .hered by woman's sooth.
ing hand, let It be by twelve
most beautiful girls of X. X. *.
There is safety in numbers.
IT may be necessary for women
to be slugged. But citizens
shouldn't do 1t. What have we
got Judges and magistrates for?
YOU'VE got to be careful now.
adays how you humble be.
cause even your best wife or most
important sweetheart may belong
to Invisible Eye. and there is
liable to be Imperial Kiblatts am.
bushed In your laundry bag.
EVEN your old granny may
~ hold l.. !. h. char.er endow.
ing her with Eastern territorial
rights to slugging and bulldoz;rg.
A ND when sister aims that
"A Anonymous Lorgnette at you,
it's time to trade your carpet
slippers for running shoes.
The Washington times., 1922-09-26
The Plea For
Good Streets
BY BILL PRICE.

eral LOhD, director or the
. Budget Bureau, is giving to
the pleas of the District Commits
sions and local civic organizations
for his approval of the largest
possible appropriations by Congress
for street improvements in the Dis
trict, gives hope that the attitude
of the director, and of Congress
also, will be favorable to a future
policy of steady and continuous up
building and extension of local
thoroughfares.
The war period was a most un-
fortunate one for the District so far
as modern upkeep of its streets and
roadways was concerned. Congress
began to apply rigid economy to the
District at the beginning of the
war, refusing to make street ap-
preparations of the proper sums on
the ground that the cost of labor
and materials was virtually pro-
hibitive. Before the war Congress
had almost yearly increased the
appropriations for paving new
streets and for upkeep of old ones.
In the face of steadily diminishing
appropriations came the larger
trucks, with tonnage capacity be-
yond that dreamed of when ma
cadam and gravel roadways were
put down by the engineer depart
ment Of the District government.
The huge trucks, aided by heavier
pleasure automobiles, cut the ma
cadam and gravel roadways to
pieces. Many miles of them are
today virtually untitled for heavy
traffic, and are under constant re-
pair.
Engineer authorities have tried to
impress upon Congress the need
of resurfacing many Washington
streets and roadways with cement
or asphalt that will stand up under
the strain of modern traffic, but,
as already pointed out, there has
been a serious deficiency in ap-
preparations for improvements and
upkeep for five years.
NJ. o. ELDRIDGE, secretary Of
the District division of the Amer
lean Automobile Association, is
turning over to General Lord
some convincing figures regarding
streets, roadways and increased
traffic. These figures, in a gen.
eral way, show that Congress is ap-
propriating less money for new
streets and repairs than it did in
1912, ten years ago. In 1912 there
were 1,723 automobiles in the Dis
trict, while the present calendar
year will show something like 49,
600 registered.
The difference is even greater
when there is taken into considera-
tion the difference in sizes in the
machines of ten years ago and now.
The truck was then hardly known.
Automobile busses were hardly
thought of. Now the huge trucks,
the big busses and the large autos
strain the best roadways, and only
the best construction will stand up.
Both practical and sentimental
reasons warrant a radical change
in the matter of appropriations for
street improvements in Washington.
The traffic; the large sums paid
into the District treasury by auto
owners in taxes; the fact that
Washington is the Capital of the
Nation, and should lead the country
in excellent roadways, ought to
mean something to the director of
the budget and to Congress.
Good intentions, it is pointed out,
do not pave streets. 1t takes money,
and the money part has been mighty
scarce for so many years that
Washington stands out now as be-
hind other cities in the condition
Of her public thoroughfares.
The Washington times., 1922-09-26
and the breath of the Almighty hath given Job
Rev Dawson psbrTn

A ND now comes along a
scientist and proposes to
make Of the human body a
wireless station.
Nerve activity. It is averred,
transforms the body into a
wireless telephonic or tele.
graphic instrument, and here
Is explained the mystery Of
thought transference and tel.
epathy.
This proposition is not so
wild as 1t seems at first blush.
Quite a respectable number
of psychologists favor the the
ory that nervous energy Is
electrical. and that pain, pleas.
ure, anger. affection and sim.
liar impulses, even thought IL
self. are forms of electrical or
radio activity.
It is perhaps as good a
heory as another.
The Washington times., 1922-09-26
Something to Think Ab1ut
BY Bruno Lessing,
LARGELY BUNK.
T WATCHED a heavy n

I WATCHED a heavy mirror
being hoisted from a wagon.
It's massive. gilded frame was
magnificently designed. A Flor.
entine carving. I thought, relic
OF those medieval days when
artisans, imbued with the true
artistic spirit. labored painstalI-
ingly day and night. to cut and
chisel and scrape a bit of hard
wood into a graceful shape that
would endure forever.
Beautiful. graceful and tre-
mendously expensive are these
real. old Florentine frames.
Museums and millionaires mo-
nopolize them.
Now. suddenly. a rope slipped
and the frame I was admiring
bumped against the pavement.
A piece of it broke off-and I
saw that It was merely plaster
of Paris. No wood at all. Just
a bunk imitation.
The Washington times., 1922-09-26
Stars and Stripes

GOBS, BEWARE.
Sign in front Of Fifth avenue millinery
house: Young Women Wanted to Trim
Rough Sailors"
Rockefeller could charge more per
quart for his gasoline II he would finance
a constitutional. amendment against IL.
II seems the average Turk would walk
more than a mile for a Kemal.
The Washington times., 1922-09-26

HOw many women are there
In the world who married
men in the belief that they were
real F1orentine frames and aft
erward found that they were
merely a plaster Of Paris lmita.
ton?
What is the true proportion
of genuineness in the character
OF human beings TO the amount
Of bunk in them? Is II 1000
to or Is II 1 to 1000?
This is really a difficult ques.
ton to answer. We all know
The Washington times., 1922-09-26
HO.HUM.

HO-HUM!
hum-drum life is led by wife,
For she has many tiresome cares.
Her man goes out and airs his views
But she stays home and views his heirs
II must have been quite a shock to
the person who went up in an airplane
and recovered his hearing when he got
back to earth and heard a saxophone
played.
The Washington times., 1922-09-26

that there is great deal Of true
worth in men and women: sturdy
sterling qualities that resist ad.
versity and temptation. But we
also know that there is quite a
lot OF bunk on the market.
The Washington times., 1922-09-26

. intricate Of all being the meas.
urement Of speed in the direct
line Of sight toward or from the
earth.
The Washington times., 1922-09-26

EVEN your old granny may
~ hold l.. !. h. char,er endow.
ing her with Eastern territorial
rights to slugging and bulldoz, rg.
The Washington times., 1922-09-26

A ND when sister aims that
"A Anonymous Lorgnette at you,
It's time to trade your carpet
slippers for running shoes.
The Washington times., 1922-09-26

YOU'VE got to be careful now.
= adays how you humble be.
cause even your best wife or most
important sweetheart may belong
to Invisible Eye. and there is
liable to be Imperial Kiblatts am.
bushed In your laundry bag.
The Washington times., 1922-09-26

SUBURBS are getting very
~ anaemic when 1t is necessary
for ladies to slug one another.
Haven't they got any gentlemen
out there?
The Washington times., 1922-09-26

understood by another II he has
the same thought.
The Washington times., 1922-09-26

7 .ATEST stunt OF Ladies of In.
- visible Ears was to hoss.
whip woman in small town.
Clown who wrote that man
, works from sun to sun never
heard Of X. h. X. entertainment
COmmittPC.
The Washington times., 1922-09-26

WOMEN shouldn't be punched
w except in self-defense. If
ladies don't put stopper on these
stylish gang fights, we'll have
to import some Belgium police
mice.
The Washington times., 1922-09-26
Get Out in the Open

rPORT is good, but the best
- thing about it is the exercise
~ involved. We miss the best in
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1922-11-25

one which would mean tho departure
Of Bruce and one dreaded by Lavinia
for the same reason. Cal watched them
going through the first act together and
admitted grudsingly. they were hand
some pair Between acts Bruce paused
near him ard gave an order TO one OF
The scene shifters.
BE ready as soon as the curtain falls
and | can change ny clothes, TO help
me carry my bags over 10 the station.
I'm going Out at midnight:
This was good. There would be no
time for A farewell with Lavinta. The
property mans mind was not on the
show that night but ne attended to the
few duties that We're his mechanically.
It struck him suddenly he would rave
10 prepare a telegram to be taken on to
Bruce in the last act, the message
which would tell him Of the forgiveness
q. an uncle and the fortune which was
wai.ing He took blank. wrote on II,
ana sealed il in a small yellow envel-
Ope
On the stage Bruce. in his character.
had told Lavinia, the heroine, OF the
hopelessness OF his situation and she
had agreed. IN a husky voice. TO wa!t
even II * IS for eternity" bell rang
and 4 messenger entered.
~ telegram FOR Charles Dalrympie.
An expcctant audiCr"e watched Bruce
open the paper and Gal .Eawcomh.
from behind the scenes. gazed al >hin
qu!zzically. The hero glanced al the
message carelessly as he repeated the
lines Of the fortune and forgiveness.
then put into the closing love scene OF
the play 50 much JOY and fervor the
crowd demanded i've curtain calls.
Lavinia. bowling her share OF the ac-
acknowledgement. thought he was glad
because he was going away. -
After the show the love scene con-
tinued until I.av!n!a accepted Bruce
and a marriage was planned. They
looked around Cor Cal. then left to-
gciher for the office Of the county, clerk
and minister
Il am sorry only FOR the way. We
treated Uncle Cal" said Lavinia as the
train took them toward the east. he
will never forgive me"
When Bruce drew the telegram from
his pocket and blessed. her for the
thought which inspired II. she looked
At tho paper wonderingiy and then
smiled
Bruce dear" the telegram read.
don't go away without saying good
bye
LavInia's eyes filed with happy tears
This makes everything all right" she
said. FOR. don't YOU sec. Il was Uncle
Cal who wrote it,"
Copyright. 1922. Geo. Matthew Adamsl
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1922-11-25

Some folks have a way Of changing
Some folks have a way Of changing
Eut with me. when | make UP my
mind-l'm Sot.''
Uncle cal Nrwcomh property man
nf the Globe theatre. could hnd timo
most any day To boast of his resoiute
convictions and his niece Lavinia. She
was the hes; actress he said. the Giob"
Stock company ever saw and ever
would see. and ne had made up his
mind she would never marry an actor.
Cal Newcomh. fat. bald and untdy,
had taken the actress when she WAS a
child. tho daughter uf the famous Fred
Ncwcomh, iragedIan, and had brought
her UP in the life 81 the stage. She
would he famous, lie told himself. as
her father was.
When Lav!na was given leading roles
at the Globe. Cal WAS not satisfied.
These young actors AMI actresses were
not Ike the ones of HIS day. They did
not put the fire in their work. roll their
- and declatm with the fine gestures
Of the older generation. Lavinta. OF
course. she was all r.ght-hut tn
others, They acted all the time like
bored husbands at an afternoon tea.
When Rohcr; Bruce leading man. ana
Laviuia became fast friends. cal made
IN his mind. the girl should never
marry an actor.
T.avlnla never realized how much
she cared or Bruce until she had
given N to cars cn,rcaiies and agreed
~ end the friendship. There had been
n long talk in which the shameless old
.oper,v man had TAX" some delight
I'm a dramatic rrCita, of all he had done
for Iavinia and of his drca ANS for Acr
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1922-11-25
BRAIN TESTS
By sam LLOYD
Five Minutes to Answer This

Five Minutes TO Answer MS
\ farmer had six pieces Of chain OF
five links each, which he wanted TO
make into an endless piece of thirty
links. If it costs s cents TO cut link
open and Is cents 10 weld it together
again, and If new endless chain
could be bought for $1.5n. how much
would he saved by the cheapest plan?
Answer to Yesterdays.
Til. suhurbanite paid 500 for his
COW and her keep cost $40. total OF
$50. He sold her for $50 and sold
s26 worth Of milk. Therefore, he lost
S25 on the deal, which amounts 10 one.
sixth Of her cost plus One-quarter Of
her keep.
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1922-11-25

An Illinois inventor has constructed
press arrangement which prints the
Incredible number OF 90 cOlOrS at
once.
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1922-11-25

BY inserting new form Of mute,
tn" tones OF saXaph0ne are almost
exactly initiated by a COrnpi
The Wheeling intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1903-1961, 1922-11-25

Osage.oranee wood is being used IN
dyeing textiles, furnishing a perfect
yellow.
The Missouri herald., 1922-10-06
CAPTURED NEGRO HELD
ON II ROBBERY CHARGES

Poplar Bluff, Mo.-A. d. Howard,
a negro robber, has been recaptured'
and is now in the county Jail at
Benton, where he will face II
charges of house breaking and rob-
berry. An effort is being made to
connect the negro with the murder
of Patrolman Willis Martin, who
was slain by robbers year ago at
Cape Girardeau.
The negro has effected some Of
the most daring escapes from jail
known in this section. His last es-
cape was from the State peniten~
tiary at Nashville, Tenn. He was
making his way back to Missouri,
where he wished to see a negro girl.
He was captured at Mcclure, ILL.,,
after a fight with four officers.
Howard had two revolvers, a long
bladed knife and razor. He drew
the latter two weapons in the fight,
but never had a chance to draw
either revolver before he was finally
subdued.
His largest known haul was at
Commerce, Mo-, where he broke in
to a house of wealthy farmer and
escaped with money and jewelry
valued at $4,000.
The Missouri herald., 1922-10-06
CAN HARDING PASS UP
FATHERS NEW STAND
Politicians See Reflection of Presi-
d...,.'5 -attitude.

w-sa.ngton. question current
in political circles here is: Can
President Harding refrain from TAX
ins formal cognizance of his faith
er's recent declaration of approval
and Endorsement of the Democratic
senatorial candidate in Iowa as
against the candidacy of Brookhart,
the Republican nominee?'
The prevalent view in official
Washington is that the venerable
DR.. Harding's announcement of his
intention to support Herring, the
Democratic nominee, embarrasses
President Harding is that the faith
er's stated reason for supporting the
Democratic nominee may be a par
tial reflection of the distinguished
sons true feeling toward Brookhart
the radical Republican nominee.
DR.. Harding's statement that
with fellows like Borah and La
Toilette to deal with, my boy
has enough Bolshevists with him
now without sending any more down
to Washington" has angered the
supporters of Borah and LaFollette
who say that the President may have
thus adroitly attacked these So
called progressive senator's over the
shoulders of his father. They say,
90, ha oil t,u
hardly be suspected of making so
important political announcement in
the very heat of the campaign with
out having acquainted his son in
the White House of his purpose in
advance.
Other commentators on the incl
dent are of the opinion that If Dr.
Harding has not reflected at least
the deep down sympathy of his son,
in the Iowa senatorial contest, he
has taken a step which the latter
cannot ignore without assuming
some nsibility-though such
responsibility may be remote-for
MS ldtueT dHIcuNCeu Dltdh WIN
his party.
Naturally Democrats are pleased
with DR.. Harding's declaration of
allegiance to the candidacy of Her.
ring, the Democratic nominee, be-
cause it will tend to strengthen 9th
er erstwhle Republican sticklers
for party regularity in their disap
proval of the radicalism of Brook
hart, whose nomination was thrust
upon the G.. o. P. organization Of
Iowa by an element which is regard
ed with increasing distrust by the
regulars.
The Missouri herald., 1922-10-06
MANAGES AND EDITS PAPER
ALTHOUGH NEARLY BLIND

Poplar Bluff, Moonlight H.
Brown, editor of the Poplar Bluff
American, newly elected head of the
Missouri Press Association, although
nearly blind since he was eight
years old, edits and manages his
daily and weekly newspap +.
Through his secretary he gets all
the daily happenings from other
newspapers, from press dispatches,
which come to his paper and stories
written by his reporters.
Brown had to leave school when
eight years old. He studied hard,
having his mother read to him
every day. He never married and is
35 years old.
The Missouri herald., 1922-10-06

Mrs. J. w. Johnson and Mrs. O. N.
Watts spent several days of this
week In st. Louis visiting friends
and taking in the veiled prophet cell
ebration. Mrs. Johnson also visited
her son. J. w. Jr., who Is attending
school at Alton, Ill.
The Missouri herald., 1922-10-06

Perfection oil stoves. the kidd
that gives the least trouble and the
most satisfaction. We put them in
the kitchen for you. Letter Hard
ware Co., Hayti. tt
The Missouri herald., 1922-10-06

your Herald subscription
The Missouri herald., 1922-10-06

Fall and Winter models at prices
that will please you. Our volume
of business has convinced us that
women appreciate stylish foot
wear.
The Democrat-herald., 1922-10-20
r. 30
VACUUM TUBE USED
AS AN OSCiLLAT0R
Transforms Direct Current Ener.
gy Into Undamped Alternating
Current Of Any Frequency.

As an oscillator, a thrce-electrode
vacuum tube has the property of
transforming the direct current ener-
gy supplied to the plate circuit into
an undamped alternating current Of
amy desired frequency. By connect-
Ing the tube functioning as IN oscil-
lstnr in the proper electrical circuit,
alternating currents have been OBJ
tanned ranging in frequency from one
half cycle per second to 15O,OoO,0OO
cycles per second. In fact, vacuum
tube used us M oscillntor is about the
un.y source of undamped alternating
current ut radio frequency available
for the amateur.
Cndamped or continuous wave tel
rcrnphy and radio telephony are made
possible only by use Of the vacuum
tubes.
When the thrcc-cleotrode vacuum
tube was functioning rs an amplifier
II WAS explained Just how operating
the grid ut II pidpolnt of the char.
ac,eristic curve caused the plate cur
rent Ia vary synchronously with the
grid potential. Not only did the plate
The Democrat-herald., 1922-10-20
s1A1E STORAGE WAREHOUSE $

"rhe Demscrstc party pledges Il.
self to undertake in a limited and req
xonsble way the erection and opera.
tt<a Of state storage warehouses for
fr1m products"
The above extract from the Demo.
crndc state platform expresses the at.
'ltude Of the party on state storage
warehouses for farm products. Il
seems to worry the Republicans more
than any other plank in the plu,forlN
In their own platform they say. IVA
oppose statsowned and operated
warehouses" They favor lelisl"
tion which will aid the farmers to con.
struct and operate cooperative ware
houses"
They densunce state storage ware
houses - "socialistlc." The state ut
New York has recently opened o S..
eoC,eo0 elevator for the storage "i
wheat, yet nobody would maintain
that the present Republican admins.
trAlion there ls YOcialistic. The stata
Of Louisiana owns and operates s;vr'
aSe warehouses for cotton, and the
AHAa1a state government, though
Democratic. has never been refsrrA
TO as socialistic. The city 81 Pert =.
land, Ore, has Invested approximate
ly Sl00OO,OOO In terminal facilities. in
cludlng q grain elevator with q capu
city Of LnuQOO0 bssseG
Colorado Republicans. who have In
creased general taxes u per cent In
the past four years, protest that state
e~Hed warehouses will increase taxa.
ton. They are afraid tho farmer
can't stand it, after he sells his pro
ducts at present low prices and pays
the existing high taxes put on him ny
Republican extravaganza. Yet the:
recognize the farmers urgent need for
additional storage facilities and urg.
that lie build warehouses bimsclf, and
pay for them himself.
As a matter of fact, the people who
use storage warehouses, whether they
nro state owned or privately owned,
pay the expense Of operating the WAN,
houses, Including interest on the bonds,
Issued to build them. They can we'll
afford to pay the expense, from the
larger returns they will receive foF
their crops. There are lots Of storage
warehouses now. used almost cxcin
sively by those who store the farmer n
products after he has disposed Of then,
and hold them TIL they can sell them
at H profit, and none Of thc;. owners
are complaining ubout losing money
on them.