Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1922-04-07


Not for minute" replied the COM
modore. why, got a dozen matched
pearls here that's fit for a queen. Big,
red, pear-shaped boys-regular bleed
in hearts. There's ten thousand each
In them alone"
swell, Tll-TlI brew some grog."
gasped Captain Scraggs, and departed
forthwith to the galley. Fifteen min
utes later he returned with a kettle
Of his fayorite nepenthe and all three
| adventures drank TO a bon voyage
home. At the conclusion of the toast
Mr.. McGuffey set down his glass,
wiped his mouth with the back of his
hairy hand, and THIS addressed the
syndicate.
'In leavin' this paradise Of the South
Pacific" he began, I'VE find that we
have accumulated other wealth besides
| the loot below decks. l refer to his
royal highness, the king Of Kandavu,
and his prime minister, Tabu-Tabu.
| When these two outlaws was first cap
tured, / informed the syndicate that l
would scheme out a punishment be-
| fittin' their crime, to-wlu-murderin
an eatin' you two boys. It's been a
big Job and it's taken some time, me
not bein' blessed with quite as fine an
| imagination as our friend, Glib. How
ever, pride myself that hard work al
ways brings success, and am ready to
| announce what disposition shall be
made of these two interestin' speci-
mems of aboriginal life. beg to an
nounce. gentlemen, that 1 have invent
ed a punishment fittin' the crime"
Impossible" said Captain Scraggs.
"Shut up, Scraggs," struck in Com
modore Gibney. "Out with it, Mac.
What's the program?"
81 move you, members of the syndi-
cate, that the schooner Maggie II pro-
coed to some barren, uninhablted
island, and that upon arrival there
this savage king and his still more
! savage subject be taken ashore in
small boat. l also move you, gentle
men of the syndicate, that inasmuch
| as the two aggrieyed parties, A. P.
! Gibney and P. Scraggs, having In
!
| their hands on said prisoners for fear
of invalidin' them at a time when their
services was of Importance to- the ex-
petition, be given an opportunity to
take out their grudge on the persons
of said savages. Now, / notice that
the king is miserable, skinny, sawed
off and hammered-down old cove. BY
all the rules Of the prize ring he's in
Scraggsy's class" (Here Mr.. McGuf-
fey flashed q lightning wink to the
commodore. It was an appeal for Mr..
Gibney's moral support In the engi-
neer's scheme to put up job on Cap
tain Scraggs, and thus relieve the
tedium of the homeward trip. Mr..
Gibney instantly telegraphed his ap-
probation, and McGuffey continued }
81 notice also that If I was to hunt the
universe over, I couldn't find better
match for Glib than TabuTabu. And
as we are all agreed that the white
race is superior to any race on earth,
and it'll do us all good to see a fine
mill before we leave the country, 1
move you, gentlemen of the syndicate,
that we pull off a finish fight between
Scraggsy and the king, and Glib and
Tabu-Tabu I'll referee both contests
and at the conclusion Of the mixup
well leave these two murderers ma
rooned on the island and then"
"Rats," snapped Captain Scragss.
''That amt no business at all. You
shouldn't consider nothin' short of
capital punishment. Why, that's only
a petty larceny form Of"
"Quit buttin' In on my prerogatives, ="
roared McGuffey. "That amt the fin
ish by no means"
''What is the finish, them"
"Why, these two cannibals bein' left
alone on the desert island, naturally
bumps up agin the old question Of the
survival of the fittest. They get scrap
pin among themselves, and one eats
the other up"
by the toe-nails OF Moses" NUT
tered Mr. Gibney in genuine admira-
ton, "but you have got an magma
| ton after all, Mac. The point is well
taken and the program will go through
/ as OulIuHu. DCIhBESy sOu II ASliA tAAN
| king. No buckin' and grumbin'. You'll
fight the king. You're outvoted two 20
one, the things been done regular, and
you can't kick. I'll fight Tabu-Tabu,
so you see you're not gettin' any the
worst Of it. Wen proceed TO an island
in the Friendly group called Tuvana-
tholo. 1t lies right In our homeward
course, and there amt enough Grub on
the COMPOUNDED island to last two men
a week. And I know there amt no
water there. SO, now that that matter
is all settled, we will proceed to heave
the anchor and scoot for home Mac,
tune up your engines and well get
out Of here a-whoopin' and a-fiyin'."
It was an eight-hundred-mile run up
to Tuvana-tholo, but the weather held
good and the trade-winds never slack
ened. Ten days from the date Of leav-
ing Kandavu they hove to of the
island. II was long, low. sandy atol,
/ win a few cocOnut-Dalnns growing In