davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alma record., 1922-07-20
Seek World Vide
Bird Protection

New York, July 2O.-Under the
leadership Of America, the world is
waking up to the necessity Of pro-
tccting its wild birds. Representa-
tives Of organizations in various
countries met in London on June 20
and formed an International Commit
tee for carrying forward propaganda
throughout the world on the sub ject
Of the protection Of wild birds.
7. Gilbert Pearson, President of
the National Association of Audubon
Societies, New York, heads this Com
mittee, the membership of which in
cludes Niscount Grey of Falladon,
England; Minheir p. G. van Tien-
hoven Of Holland, Monster Delacour
Of France, and other equally we'll
known bird lovers.
Mr.. Pearson who has just returned
from studying bird protective mat
tcrs in France, Holland and England
reports that the general subject of
bird protection in those countries is
not handled in the highly efficient
lllalllfi NiidA NUlaiilS III ~ many VI
our States For example" he said,
there are no game wardens employ
cd by Provincial or National Govern
ments in any Of these countries.
Practically the only protection wild
birds have ever been afforded is on
hunting estates and here the atten-
tion Of the privately employed game
keepers is devoted almost entirely to
game birds that are raised for shoot
ing purposes"
Mr.. Pearson speaks of his dis
appointment in finding Storks so
scarce in Holland. Round platforms
on poles are erected all over the coun-
try, he said, "for the accom- ISOLATION
OF these birds, but the last two years
Storks have almost entirely dis
appeared and throughout northern
Holland found only one pair nest
ing. 1t is reported that the birds
have been killed by eating grasshop-
pers poisoned by farmers in the
Transvaal, Africa"
Alma record., 1922-07-20
Local NeUS

You will find the best bread in
Butter Cup wrappers. 02-tfc
Mr.. and Mrs. Harry Gerber were
Big Rapids visitors Sunday.
Boarders wanted at 416 Woodwork
Avenue. advertiscment-60-
Rev and Mrs. j. NJ. Horton left for
Harriston, Ontario, on Monday.
Harold Lloyd in "Never Weak
Strand Sunday and Monday.
Merle Keene left for Mt. Pleasant
Wednesday where he has a position.
Sheriff Alfred T. Willet of Ithaca
was in the city on business, Monday.
Leo A. Wood Of Mt. Pleasant was
here on business the first of the
week.
Mr.. and Mrs. II. n. Allen are
spending the week in Detroit, with
friends.
Strawberry nut ice cream special
this week, 40c. Deluxe Candy Co.
advertisement.
DR.. +. G. Sluyter, osteopathic ply
sician, State Savings Bank Building,
Alma, both phones. 57-tf
Nick Bardaville, Merrill Kenee
and William Andrews have returned
from a three weeks trip to Texas.
Entire stock Of voile dresses at one
half price Saturday, July %, only.
The Gaffney Style Shop.-advertise-
ment.
Throw off that tired, rundown
feeling and build up your food. Tan
lac does it. Look-Paterson Drug Co..
advertisement.
The Yinger Quartet Of StLouis
will furnish music at the Sunday
evening union services in the park
this coming Sunday.
Professor and Mrs. A. p. Cook and
daughter, Edith, left yesterday for
Conway, where they will spend a
three weeks vacation.
Russell Murphy and Jay GARNER
have returned from a two weeks au-
tomobile trip around the northern
part Of the lower peninsula.
The Church Vacation School of F.
Superior Christian church will picnic
in the park Friday. The school Will
be fittingly closed ON Friday, July 28
Miss Cora Dunlap returned to her
home in Alma Saturday after a
several days visit in Saginaw at the
home Of Rev. and Mrs. William II.
Mason.
All silk underwear including Kay
ser, Van Raalte and Dove lines at one
half price Saturday, July %, only
The Gaffney Style Shop.-advertise-
ment
There will be no service at St
Johns Church on July % or 30, but
there will be service on the first Sun
day in August with the rector in
charge.
Rev. F.. +. Shoufer, pastor Of the
Baptist church left Thursday morn
ing to attend the Baptist Assembly
at kalamazoo, where he has a part
on the program.
Mr.. and Mrs. VIM. j. Minis are
leaving this week on an extended
visit to Niagara Falls and New York
State. They will return via Cleve-
land and Detroit
we guarantee the DdllIltI record
to be one of the best on the market,
big hit on both sides, 55c each or
two for Sl.00. Buy our records and
spend the other 20c, only at Smiths
Music Shop advertisement.
Mayor and Mrs. Murphy and
daughter, Mr.. and Mrs. William +.
Reynolds and children, and Mr.. and
Mrs. A. j. Archer spent the week
end in Dowagiac and South Bend.
Mrs. Murphy and daughter left the
party at South Bend and went to
indianapolis for a ten days visit.
The balance of the party returned to
Alma Tuesday morning.
l.. Superior Christian church will
attend the Rock Lake Assembly Sun
day, July 80 Arrangements are COM
plete to ordain to the Christian min
istry Mr.. Roger Zinn on that day.
Autos will leave the church for the
lake at 9:45 in the morning and re-
turn in the afternoon ar early even
Alma record., 1922-07-20
CARD OF THANKS

We desire TO express our heartfelt
thanks to our neighbors and friends
who so kindly assisted us during the
sickness and death of our dear one,
for the beautiful floral offerings, and
the comforting words of the minister,
and Mrs. Gerhardt for her beautiful
singing.
Mr.. George Thompson and daugh-
ter, Eleanor, Mr.. and Mrs. Emery
Wiley, Mr.. and Mrs. Vern Wiley, Mr.
and Mrs. Otto Wiley, Mr.. Asa Whey
Miss Mildred Wiley. ol-lc
Alma record., 1922-07-20
GOOD ATTRACTIONS

The free three act vaudeville en-
tertainment given Wednesday even
ing by the Alma Merchants Bureau
proved to be another high class
Entertainment, acrobatic stunts, sing
ing and magic composing the bill
that was given for the hundreds who
attended.
Next Wednesday night another
high class entertainment is schedul-
ed, which promises to excel that Of
this week and it is probable that it
will be among the best entertain
ments that have been given during
the entire summer season.
Alma record., 1922-07-20

Harold Lloyd in "Never Weak
en"-Strand Sunday and Monday.
Alma record., 1922-07-20

Strawberry nut ice cream speciai
this week, 40c. Deluxe Candy Co.
advertisement.
Alma record., 1922-07-20

Strawberry nut ice cream special
this week, 40c. Deluxe Candy Co.
advertisement.
Alma record., 1922-07-20

Harold Lloyd in "Never Weak
en- Strand Sunday and Monday.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-01-01

more than that" she cooed. cts
simply shattered them. You see. I
am 30 temperamental the least
thing upsets me and I am . men.
tai wreck"
That's too bad sympathisod
Mrs. Phibbs. 81 know how Mr..
Phibbs gets when anything annoys
him." and she shot daggerful OF
irony at him
rockingham Phibbs, . gallant
man to any woman with the posi-
BILE exception Of the one he mar.
ried, strobe to the window. He
peered out and not two hundred
yards away . group Of boys were
playing.
SAY" he shouted; what's the
idea Of making all that noise7 II
you kids don't stop I'll get Q cop
after you"
II is doubtful whether Frothy's
voice reached the children, but he
returned to the room with . tri.
umphant smile on his battle
scared brow Just the same.
IT guess thatll settle the noise"
he said.
"oh. thank you 90 much" she
murmured. and left.
there's your artistic tempera.
ment. Mr.. Phibbs." said the missus.
hiding Q laugh.
well. I win say there are ex
captions TO every rule. you know.-
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-01-01

with actresses. they're too darn
temperamental to suit me-"
"Pshaw, don't get perturbed.
there isn't an actress living you
could suit. And, besides, you know
the old adase. little temperament
now and then is relished BY the
best Of men,"
Maybe" rejoined Phibbs, "but
not when you throw in an Egypt
ian vase for good measure. OF
course. I hold no brief for the land.
lord. don't misunderstood me. but
there's such q thing - throwing
caution to the winds and carrying
temperament too far"
.-oh. no. not II you've got . good
aim" smiled tho frisky missus.
AN actress, you know. is . bundle
Of nerves."
We'll. then, all I can say II that
some one ought to undo the bundle
and sfve her nerves the air. Tenn
perament is Just plain temper un-
der IN artistic name"
"Then why be Jealous Of any.
body who il artisticf" demanded
Mrs.. Phibbs. aren't you . lover
OF the fine arfsf-
yes. but this one 10 so fine I
can't see It. Artistic temperament
is only q fad. anyway. like cubist
art free verse and worse. The
time win come when people win
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-01-01
rockingham Phibbs ON the Artistic Temperament

well, It wouldn't be a horse
laugh at any rate" shot back the
excited Phibbs, who implied hidden
meaning IN his remark a. he sur
veyed his wife's avoirdupois that
lowered about the one hundred and
ninetysix-pound mark.
History records that cack1ing
geese once saved Rome. but the
bell saved rockingham Phibbs
from . similar disaster. Mrs.
Phibbs escorted Maize Brooks, q
dashing young movie actress into
the parlor.
I'm sorry to disturb you" COM
menced Maize In Q soft voice as she
seated herself In an easy chair.
moving the while Q large expanse
Of neat ankle encased In Iustrous
sfrksn hosiery. but the noise the
boys are making In the yard Is
dreadful IT'S % annoying that I
simply cannot concentrate on the
role I an 10 play In my nert
picture.
Yes, the noise is TERRIBLE" ad-
mitted Frothy. who didn't yet hear
. murmur from the backyard. but It
was perhaps because his eyes were
glued on the silk hosiery instead
of in the direction Of the yard that
he didn't hear. And I suppose II
ruffles your nerves!"
"Oh. Mr.. Phibbs. u does much
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-01-01

plumber that charges reasonably.
BAIL II I knew anybody who was
temperamental I'd give EN- the
laugh"
-Temperamental or not" said the
missus knowingly. you give 'em
the laugh anyhow"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-01-01

II ~
rockingham Phibbs to
nobody in particular.
BEAT whatH"' Mrs. Amanda
Phibbs asked. the way you talk .
good golf game or the way the
laundry sharpens your collsrsf"
mo. that's beside the point"
Phibbs said with Q gracious smile.
Il see by the paper that an actress
smashed On Egyptian vase over
her landlords head because no told
her to move"
well. she did. didn't shef"
asked the missus quite fnnocentiy.
mo. I said she struck the Land
lord" clarified Frothy.
We'll, wasn't that her novel
Now tell mo what happened to the
landlord1"
Seeing that you're in . 3oculas
mood this evening. I suppose It's
up to mo to say that It was the
landlords move NEXT, 30 they ~
moved him to tho hospital" said
Phibbs saroasticaliy. But It 10 an
outrage for . woman to break an
Egyptian vase over . mans head"
whats wrong with thatf It's
her vase and she has . right to
break It any way she sees At"
"Yes, but she must have had q
temperamental at when she landed
ON the landlord. That's the trouhls
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-01-01

be ashamed to have tempera-
ments."
That's where you're all wrong.
Frothy. Temperament shows you
are different-individual."
Like a woman with long skirts,
I suppose, or as individual N 4
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-01-01
From Here and
There
Not Surprising.

MOI surprising.
THE bore was relating his expert.
ences in the clubroom.
There I stood. gentleman" the
long.winded narrator was saying.
after droning on for an hour re-
garding his trip to Switzerland;
there I stood, with the abyss yawn-
ing in front OF me-"
Excuse me-" interjectad one Of
The unfortunate men who had been
obliged to listen to the story, but
was that abyss yawning before you
got there"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-01-01
Some More
About Sandwiches

W hS'O sno 08m
sandwich. This, we pre-
sumo was discovered By
and named after some actor: &
could easily be named after q lot
OF 'em we've seen! However, said
ham consists of slight film removed
from original animal with safety.
razor blade to assure minimum Of
thinness. After this has been close
ly attended to. two slices Of bread,
which have come back from Q regu-
lar dinner badly bent and consider
ably tooth-marked. are wrapped
around the delicate piece Of ham.
This may be for the purpose Of pro
tecting the ham-every thought II
for the protection OF the sandwich
you seer and none for the Gus
toner. although he needs prptec-
ton at the moment more than he
ever did before. However. he eats
tho ham sandwich. and subsequent
ly RECEIVERS. although he can never
be the same man again. State Com
pensation or Disarmament Com
mish ought to take up this sand
witch business!
Then We have the famous ham
burger sandwich. This probably
has more followers than any other
sandwich in captivity. To make
this It is first necessary to secure
the aid of the butcher. It seems
that to make the hamburg he So
cures q COW that Is well seasoned
CASUALLY seasoned from eight to
ten years), hits It on the head with
q post-maul and runs It through the
hamburger machine. This machine
mangles the COW 80 badly that at
first you are sure that It has been
to the laundry. The pulyerized
COW Is then delivered 10 the res
taurant, the chef pats It into little
round cakes, which saves him the
trouble of having to wash his hands
after stocking the stove. and the
hamburger is ready to furnish man.
kind. without fear or favor. q large
and assorted variety of acute In
digestion. *.
To make the humbug-er-ham-
burg sandwich proper It Is assisted
into the spider. where it is bathed
fiuently in hot grease; what kind Of
grease It is deponent saith NOT, but
it seems as though a prime quality
Of axle-grease would have q moro
agreeable flavor. Anyhow. the
hamburg Is sunk In grease and %
permitted to sizzle until It is black
on both sides and raw on the In
side; and. as a word OF parting.
after you have eaten this remark.
able mess your stomach is raw on
the inside, too!
In conclusion we want TO say
that Lord Sandwich, the man who
made sandwiches possible and di.
gestion impossible, should have
been proud Of his invention because
1t gives the doctors chance to ex-
pertinent with the human stomach
and find out just now much more Q
mans stomach will stand than an
ostrich's!
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-01-01
"A Rural Editors
Scrapbook

! WYE are much interested in
: w this disarmament confer
" ence's cuttin' an slashin'
an flxin' It up for China, but we
do hope they don't let their prunin'
knife slip an chop suey.
Jest as 81 Hoskins was proposin'
to his girl on q trolley car q fuse
blew out We do hope yew got
busy before she was refused, Sill
+. Sam Waters. the milk man, Is not
very thorough with his work.
Leastw1se. everyone says he Just
skins through IL
Prohibition enforcement officers
have been scourin' this community
sayin' they were of the idea that
there was hooch in our midst. The
rumor Is cruelty false. say We.
Nobody has Jest worked out how
many Galleries there are to ono
green apple. but a. We recall our
orchard foragin' days there must Q
been . million in each one, an
every one Of EN- workin' overtime.
Tho dairy express was tagged
at the depot ono day last week to
take tho Mayor to the city. an his
political enemies are now sayin'
that they always knsw hs was .
pisce Of cheese.
Amt science wonderful They
have perfected the disappearin'
gun an now It Is reported thsy
have about got hop to invisible
powder SOS tho girls can powder
their faoes right on . subway train
an you can't sec en- do II.
Somebody asked sfxyear-old
willie Green where he got his
black ayes from. and While an
gwered. from mother. Father gets
his BLACK eyes from her. too"
When knishthood was In flower
duels were very common. They
were almost Q knightly occurrence.
Leastwise that's the way Hipe
snodgrass sizes It mp.
The political spell-binders are
sure goin' around strewin' the
countryside OF this neck Of the
woods with some wild flowers Of
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-01-01
A Few Drags from the Old Pipe
Q Say when," but now It 10 Say where"

1t used to be Say when," but 10 Say where"
According to the pictures there will
shortage in the riding crops.
Mr. Dooits prohibition officer. been let
Maybe he did Just
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-01-01

Gutenberg successfully invented
. printing machine but no man has
yet successfully invented lie to
convince his wife.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-01-01

Mary, Queen of Scots. met q sad
end. but many kings of scotch are
much more successful since prohi.
bition.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-01-01
Granny's Ghost.

Grannys Ghost.
THE house where granny lived
was said to be haunted and
hfteen-year-old Tom was nervous
Of sleeping alone. During the first
night he fancied he heard strange
noises. so in the morning he tackled
the old lady.
"Dou you believe in spirits.
granny" he asked.
The old lady thought deeply for
a moment, then suddenly he face
Frightened and she said. slowly:
well, they do say that whisi
keys good for rheumatism"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-01-01

Sir Walter Raleigh won undying
fame for spreading q cloak out for
Queen Elizabeth. but q gambler did
better than that when he spread
out three aces before . king of
finance.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-01-01
S-S-S-Soda Water.

IA WOMAN who stammered was
- charged with a minor offence.
As there was some doubt as to her
proper name the court officer said.
What's your name?"
She tried to reply, but, being ner-
vous, merely said, "S-s-s-s-s," hiss
ing loud and long.
tell the magistrate your name"
raped out the officer.
This made her worse than ever
and a prolonged hiss" was the only
result.
whats she charged withi" asked
the magistrate.
A facetious lawyer rose from tho
table and said. "sooa water. I think.
your worship"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-01-01

The Dutch settled Manhattan in
1903. but many . wife has settled
. man In New York since then.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-01-01
Facts Not in Our
Histories

IN UEBN lSABMLA hooked
III her jewels to get Columbus
X a schooner. and the rest Of
N have to hook ours to get q quart.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-01-01

When We have bumper crop anything is the
bumped
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-01-01

Facts Not in Our
Histories
~ UEBN IsABuLIA hooked
III her jewels to get Columbus
x q schooner. and the rest Of
N have to hook ours to get q quart.
Gutenberg successfully invented
. printing machine. but no man has
yet successfully invented q lie to
convince his wife.
The Dutch settled Manhattan in
1909. but many . wife has settled
. man In New York since then.
Mary, Queen of Scots. met . sad
end. but many kings Of scotch are
much more successful since prohi.
bition.
Sir Walter Raleigh won undying
fame for spreading q cloak out for
Queen Elizabeth. but q gambler did
better than that when he spread
out three aces before . king of
finance.
Socrates. the philosopher, earned
only ono hundred dollars q year,
which was why he had to be a
philosopher.
Alexander the Great was a must.
clan OF note, SO he always took his
players along with him on his tours
Of conquest The people named It
Alexander's ragtime band In >his
honor.
Lawrence saidi Don't give I'D
the shipp and q. great many
Americans are living up to the let.
tor Of It by not giving up the hip
to anybody but themselves.
Nero played the fiddle while
Rome burned. but It couldn't have
been any worse than some Of the
'fddlers who play in the moving
picture theatres.
Aristotle. the Greek, was a pol
ished gentleman. and thousands of
his countrymen in America still
have q polish with them, only they
put It on our shoes.
Perry opened the door of Japan
to the world, but q great many
salesmen have It closed right in
their face every day.
The Pilgrims landed on Plymouth
Rock, but. from some Of the blue
laws they wished on us It would
have been better II tho rock had
landed on the Pilgrims,
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-01-01

The Pilgrims landed on Plymouth
Rock, but. from some of the blue
laws they wished on us It would
have been better II the rock had
landed on the Pilgrims.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-01-01

Socrates, the philosopher. earned
only ono hundred dollars q year,
which was why he had to be a
philosopher.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-01-01

The political spell-binders are
sure goin' around strewin' the
countryside Of this neck Of the
woods with some wild flowers Of
historic.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-01-01

Nero played the fiddle while
Rome burned. but It couldn't have
been any worse than some Of the
ladders who play in the moving
picture theatres.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-01-01

Alexander the Great was a must
clan Of note. SO he always took his
players along with him on his tours
Of conquest The people named It
Alexander's ragtime band In >his
honor.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-01-01

When knishthood was In flower
duels were very common. They
were almost Q knightly occurrence.
Leastwise that's the way Hipe
enodgrass sizes It mp.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-01-01

Aristotle, the Greek, was a pol
ished gentleman. and thousands of
his countrymen in America still
have q polish with them, only they
put It on our shoes.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-01-01

Perry opened the door of Japan
to the world, but a great many
salesmen have It closed right in
their face every day.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-01-01

Prohibition enforcement officers
have been scourin' this community
sayfn' they were Of the idea that
there was hooch in our midst. The
rumor Is cruelty false. say We.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-01-01

Tho dairy express was tagged
at the depot ono day last week to
take tho Mayor to the city. an his
political enemies are now sayin'
that they always Anew he was .
piece Of cheese.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-01-01

Lawrence said, Don't give I'D
the shipp and a, great many
Americans are living up to the let.
tor Of It by not giving up the hip
to anybody but themselves.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-01-01

Nobody has Jest worked out how
many Galleries there are to one
green apple, but a. We recall our
orchard foragin' days there must q
been . million in each one. an
every one Of en- workin' overtime.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-01-01

Sam Waters. the milk man, Is not
very thorough with his work.
Leastw1se. everyone says he Just
skins through IL
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-01-01

Somebody asked sfxyear-old
willie Green where he got his
black ayes from. and Willie an
swered. from mother. Father gets
his black eyes from her. too"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-01-01

n@AN you beat IT." said
rockingham Phibbs to
nobody In particular.
The Big Stone Gap post. [volume] (Big Stone Gap, Wise County, Va.) 1892-1928, 1922-04-19
APPA-STONE MUSIC CLUB

The Appa-Stone Music Club
held ITS regular meeting Satur-
day, April 9Th, at the home Of
Mrs. Sara Black at Appalachia.
Twelve members responded to
roll call. The subject Tor the
meeting was. What Early Eng
land Did Tor Music" y musical
guessing game was played during
the afternoon. and also a contest
-BuiltUp Composers. In the
contest Mrs. Harold RAIDER and
Frances Sayers scored highest
and cut for the prize, and Miss
Saycrs being the fortunate one
received a group picture OF Han
die and l2ubenstein.
At the close OF the meeting.
Misses Edith Willoughby and
Caralis LETTERS served delicious
refreshments. The next meeting
will be May 18th.