The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1922-08-09
ON SECOND THOUGHT
BY JAY z. HOUSE.
(From Philadelphia Public BedgarJ

Another oil promoter has heard we
want to make a fortune and is en-
deavoring to secure our attention. If
we wanted to get rich quick We should
not invest in oil stocks We know an
easier way: we'd marry an Usage In
dian lady. And while we do not go
so far as to believe the oil promoters
will take this as final, they might as
well do SO. !
The Usage Indian bonanza has never
had the publicity it deserves. The fact
is that the flow of mazuma from this
bonanza is so large, and the subter-
ranean deposits SO great, that for
every Usage Indian living five white
men are lying awake nights perfecting
plans for cornering the output.
From a Scoffer.
Sir don't know whether you ever
risk spelling your own style by read
ing certain of the paragraphs appear
ing in your own evening paper, but
if you do, most respectfully rec
ommend the Uncommon Sense
articles. If you can't get a paragraph
out of the effusion of August 2, which
tells how a grizzly bear can be stopped
in his tracks with a .S2-caliber cart
ridge one inch long, you are not the
columnist I think you. I'll admit I
have never had a grizzly even half
shot, but the story reads like uncom-
mon sense. You know it was little
ID snort the COMpunCHeT was look
ing at when he told the tenderfoot.
IF you ever shoot me with that gun
and I find it out certainly will
raise hell with you H. H. S.
According to the middle western
version of the story, the gun was a
.22, but that phase of the matter is,
of course, academic. To us the vital
and significant thing is not the caliber
OF the siX-pistol upon which the cow
puncher sharpened his observation,
but the probability as to whether the
knowledge that a grizzly bear can be
stopped by a .s2-short has any prac-
teal value.
Ours is a mind that reveIs in the
joys of computation. The figures
show that of the adult citizens of this
country only one in eight millions
ever sees a grizzly bear. Only one in
twenty-seven millions sees as many as
two grizzly bears in the course of his
natural life. Only one out of every
citizen owns .S2-caliber revolver.
The chances that the man who Jump
ed grizzly bear would be carrying
such weapon are as one in nineteen
millions Granting the remote coin
cidence of meeting between a man
carrying a .32-caliber revolver and a
grizzly bear, the probability that the
man could, with a revolver, hit a NOV
ing target the size of a bear at any
distance once in six shots is as one
IN IlVo In1llOnS- OnQer the clrcu1n-
stances we regard the information
that a man can stop a grizzly bear
with .32-caliber cartridge as use
less knowledge, of which there al
ready is a tremendously large and
unimpressive store. If it had been
generally known from the dawn of
the Christian era to the present time
not more than three persons would
have been given an opportunity to
demonstrate its truth.
And. besides, it's plumb foolish. A
grizzly bear usually is going the other
way. No smart man wants to stop it.
That's a. part of the accumulated wis
dom of the ages.
The controversy as to who started
us, but We hazard the conjecture that
the tolerant, broad-minded, Justice
loving American public had a grand
time laughing its head off at the game
and it protector.
For that matter, there still are COM
munities and circles from which a
voluntary humorist can deduce fine
he is not yet old enough to play the
game.
1t has been demonstrated that it is
possible to skin a Goldfish in thirty
seven and one-half seconds The cod
is for those who like it. Personally,
we shouldn't care to wait that long.
We have limited several times; now
we come right out with it. Does or
does not the Lit'ry Digest want us to
vote in its prohibition and bonus
polls?
The reason we ask is that what we
first took to be an oversight now ap-
pears to be n calculated attempt to
ignore.
Congressman are a pretty poor lot,
taking them as they come and go, but
it will be remembered to the credit
bers publicly defended the Herrin
massacre.