davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1922-05-08

They sprout in spots like a field of corn that
has been attacked by an army of cutWorms
Every time we go through the mouons OF shaY-
ing we wonder why the Great Agriculturis'
didn't replant when He must have seen that the
crop was to be failure.
One Never Can Tell What to Expect.
From Ones Friends.
IFTom The Argus.1
Friends of Mrs. Judith Melgren Van
Fnyde $40 Second street, who fell Sat
urdsv and broke her right arm. VIII be
glad to learn she is more comfortable
today.
he has that almost unique quality
IF realizing that Pope was talking about him
self as we'll as about his fellows when he
said what fools these mortafs be'."-Fahny
Butcher in the Chitr1b.
Gosh. did Pope say that. too? But, Fanny
vhaddya suppose Puck, the amiabie little devil
of "h1idsummer-Night Dream, was thinking
about when he warbled
6. Shall we their fond pageants see?
o, what fools these mortals be!!
FOUR ESSAYS.
H. OF Aspiratien-A Ticket Seller.
Sitting in my glass booth, smiling,
Wearing nv pink crepe waist,
Watching the faces of men and women
Whom | have never seen before
And shall never see again,
| consider mans so-ealled duty
To cherish aspirations.
l smile, scornfully reminiscent, remember.
And am grave again.
| had my aspirations
To be that vague something
Which 10 myself l called lady,
To wifehood, to maternity.
1 sit in my glass booth, smiling,
Repeating with suavity,
Eighty, ninety and ten is one dollar.
| thank you
kidding with the managers friends,
Feignng amusement at their obscenities,
Dodging dates with them
I watch the faces of men and women,
Whom | have never seen before,
Whom l shall never again,
Surging past me like the waves of an ocean
Into the depths of which / imagine myself
plunging
To Oblivion. RED.
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1922-05-08

DOES King George of England realize what
a wonderful dad he had? No2 Neither did We
until we read the memoirs of the Clown Prince.
=. BY the way, we're curious to know who is
writing them.
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1922-05-08

AS shining example of Rimes We Must
Not Print we offer the first and final two lines
in pome intitulied The Dorm, which ap-
peared in the Augustana Observer:
Our building is old, it's shattered and worn
If you don't believe US, look over our dorm.
We don't mean to knock, we're telling the
truth,
Nine months in this place is sufficient proof
II
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1922-05-08

WE suspect the author of the Swan Song"
also wrote this one of the Midway Epigrams":
"Our idea of wasted energy is trying to
kid a stork."
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1922-05-08
But Tell Is, Arthur-Why Does He Carry EN-
Back Down HILL

[Arthur Brisbane in the Hearstaminer1
The marmoset at the tropics under
stands the polar bear as well as the aver
age American understands the cooIie
carrying bricks uphill on his back in
Hons Kong, and vice versa
SATURDAYS dispatches on the burnine
az the stake of three negroes say this is the
first triple lynching in Texas within the reeoI-
lection OF the present-day residents" All.
Clio, fresh page, please. Texas has made
history.
"BoNKER SAYS FooCH DROVE HIM To
CRIME-Dead Teacher Second to Turn Him
Down, Taken to Mason City Prison."-Cedar
Rapids Gazette.
Odd disposition of corpse, what?
WHAT man Is brave enoHgh-not to saw
keep lady waiting when that
lady plainly evidences lack of patience?
We confess TO being rank coward That,x
shy this last line is what it is
q. E. MG-
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1922-05-08

ANYWAY, whiskers are an abomination.
Ours are even worse-they're catastrophe
They sDrout in spots like field of corn that
has been attacked by an army of cutWorms.
Every time we go through the motions of shaw
ing we wonder why the Great Agricutturlst
didn't replant when He must have seen that the
crop was to be failure.
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1922-05-08
SWAN SONG.

She was pure
And white as snow;
But. alas.
She drifted
CAP AND GOWN,
Iron County record. [volume] (Cedar City, Utah) 1893-1982, 1922-06-16
Happy II Drinkers Are Poisoned

Amskegon, NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. have
given us the information that booze
thinkers cannot live more than three
years." said Mrs. @. L. Calkins, presi-
dent OF the state association OF the
Wo,hens Christian Temperance Union,
addressing the Michigan convention.
Mrs. Calkins hailed the high death
rate from moonshine as one of the
chief blessings of prohibition, as 1t will
soon dispose Of that portion of the
population which desregards the law
an insists upon poisoning itself. 1T
Is pleasant TO know that drinkers Of
this vile stuff cannot long survive"
said Mrs. Calkins.
Iron County record. [volume] (Cedar City, Utah) 1893-1982, 1922-06-16
THE PRAYER
OF A HORSE
BY Laurence q. Cash.

o MAN, my Lord and Master, hear
Thou my prayer:
Water me, feed me, keep me clean
and work me In reason. o Lord. when
my days work be done give me shell
ter from rain, wind and cold and a
clean, dry bed In a stall wide enough
for me to lie down In comfort. Do
not tie my head in an unnatural po-
sition or cut Off my tail, which is
my only defense against flies. Do not.
o Man, drive me rapidly down hill.
. Lord. do be merciful and consider
ate of me In hot weather, and do not
kick, strike or otherwise abuse me
when l do not understand your de-
sires. Prod me not with merciiess
spurs. Teach Thou me to understand
Thy desires. Speak gently unto me,
. Lord, Thy voice means more to
me than whip and reins. 1 have q
sense Of humor. Play with me, and
pet me, o Man, and win gladly lend
myself to Thee In willing service.
Have mercy on me. o Master, when
have collie. and do give me one spoon
ful OF Dl-Col-Q. 1t Will relieve me
quickly. When have scours drench
me with Di-Col-Q. And, o Master,
when l be CALLED. have sores on
shoulders or back, wire cuts, scratches.
mango or swellings, apply Thou d.
Colo to mine affected parts and I
will praise Thee for relief from mine
Affections. Di-Col-Q will enable me to
do Thy bidding with delight.
o Man. Di-Col-Q is just as good for
similar human Ills.
Remember, o Lord, Di-Col-Q Is made
In mercy by New York Drug Concern,
4Oi Lafayette Street, New York City.
Praise Thou this firm for their allevi-
alton of beastly Ills.
o Master, when I fail to eat exam
Inc my mouth for the cause. Do not
work me when I can not eat. BE mer-
ciful unto me, o Man, and / will serve
Thee and Thy family many years
with glad heart.
Finally. o Lord. when my youthful
beauty and strength be gone. and my
days OF service ended, neither turn
me out to starve and freeze, nor sell
me to some cruel man to be tortured.
o Man. II Thou be financially unable
70 care for me In my old days, take
Thou my life in the klndest way.
Hear fnd answer my prayer, o my
Lord, aIid YOUR God win reward you
both here and In the hereafter.
With all reverence so pray unto
Thee In the name OF Him, who was
born In a manger.-AMEN.
Iron County record. [volume] (Cedar City, Utah) 1893-1982, 1922-06-16
Would Prevent Sunday Papers

Oklahoma City.-NatiOnal legisla.
ton should suppress Sunday news
papers and exclude from the United
States mails newspapers containing
full-page advertisements. This is a
plank from the platform Of Thomas
Pratt HOPPER OF Enid. who. aspiring
to succeed Manuel Herfick, "aerial
daredevil congressman from the
eighth Oklahoma district, on file here
Monday as an independent candidate.
Reasoning the Issue, HOPPER says; "If
an advertiser cannot tell the truth
about his bargains In one-fourth OF a
page he is false witness on bargains
'and should not be PERMITTED the use
of the mails"
Iron County record. [volume] (Cedar City, Utah) 1893-1982, 1922-06-16
REGARD FOR HEROES WISHES
Judge Neterer Of Seattle Holds Re.
quest Of Soldier Killed In War
Demands First Consideration.

Is the last wish OF soldier dying
on the field Of battle more to be re-
spected than legal forms decked out
with sealing waxY The American
Legion thinks II Is. Recent cases be-
fore the courts have brought the ques-
ton to the front. According to Federal
Judge Neterer Of Seattle, the wish Of
q soldier killed In battle Is higher law
than any departmental regulation. Ac-
cording to this decision Agnes Claffy,
sixteen-year old niece of Clarence
Swank, Is awarded the residue of
Swank's estate, amounting to $1,000.
Swank was killed In France. Depart
mental red tape cluttered up the case
on account of the death Of Swank's
mother, the original beneficiary. In
handing down his decision Judge
Neterer cited precedents extending
back to the days of Caesar and the
legiornaires OF ancient Rome.
The latest case Is that Of Miss
Elenore II. Knapp of New York, whose
claim to the estate of Ernest Cbarl-
ton Mason of the One Hundred and
Sixth United States infantry has been
contested by Mason's uncle. In q
muddy dugout before general ad-
vance against the Germans, Mason
told his buddie, Oscar Westgate, the
story of his engagement, and added
that he now felt that In this advance
he was slated to go West" "lf
don't come through this" he said, as
thay startpd oyar tho ton at wont FL
enore to have all my estate"
Mason, among others, was cut of
and captured by the Germans. They
were taken to the same prison camp.
For ten days, a bunkie testified. Mason
lay Ill on the ground with influenza.
Then he was taken away in an ambu-
lance and his death reported. Event
ually a death certificate was issued
by the United States government. But
the attorneys for Mason's uncle con
tested the case to the extent of argu.
ing that the "proof Of death" was un-
satisfactory.
The justice OF the soldiers latest
will has been upheld in startling fash.
Ion by the highest courts of England
recently. An English major of In.
fantry died alone in his lodgings In
London directly after the armistlce
He left no legal will. Across the front
Of photograph Of his fiance he
had hastily scrawled: "All to her.
The case was brought before the nigh.
est tribunal Of England and the "will
stood.
Iron County record. [volume] (Cedar City, Utah) 1893-1982, 1922-06-16
Grapes Bring Good sum

MI, $, Cal.-Many wine grape grow
ers of this district are hoping to re-
ceive 1925 ton for their crop this
year. Offers OF 500 and 500 a, ton
are being freely refused by the grow
ers. who believe that 1922 will he the
biggest year ever in the wine. grape
crop, as,far as sales go. At this time
lust year 500 was being offered for
the crop, which eventually sold around
$S5 ton. Reports from Sonoma coun-
~ state that offers Of 500 and $40
ton have already been made
Iron County record. [volume] (Cedar City, Utah) 1893-1982, 1922-06-16
CUTTING on che Last Word.

Archeologists have recently been
puzzled over the finding of the head
less body Of an Egyptian princess In
an ancient tomb. 1t seems that the
question as to how the lady lost her
head is important in archeologic
circles.
In certain Oriental countries 1t Is
customary for the head of the house,
In the event Of domestic argument,
to behead the lady, thus cutting the
lady as well as the argument short.
Doubtless, the last words that issued
from the lips of the headless princess
were: where have you been2"-
Judge.
Iron County record. [volume] (Cedar City, Utah) 1893-1982, 1922-06-16
Send diseased Poultry to France.

The Germans are inoculating with
cholera the fowls they are delivering
the French under the PREPARATIONS
agreements, according to French bIolo-
gists. 1t was noticed that the poultry
sent in from Germany soon died.
Prompt inquests on the dead fowls
disclosed the cholera germ. The Paris
Matln, one OF the greatest French
newspapers, calls for government in.
vestlgatien.
Iron County record. [volume] (Cedar City, Utah) 1893-1982, 1922-06-16
Dean Of Public utllIty peaa

San Francisco III. ID. Love-
land. dean in point of service of pub
lie utility commissioners in the United
States, died at his home here Sunday
He had been member OF
the California railroad commission
continuously since 1907 and was one OF
the best Informed men In the country
on transportation problems He was
born in New York in 1888.
Iron County record. [volume] (Cedar City, Utah) 1893-1982, 1922-06-16
NEED IS EXPECTED
TO RAISE PRICES
PRODUCTION GAZING ACCORDING
TO GOVERNMENT, WILL NOT Az.
Feet WHOLESALE cosTs
New Demands In Industry And Trans-
portatlon Jump Weekly Con-
sumption to Almost
100000 Tons

Chicago.-Increased bitumInous pro-
duction, which. according 10 figures
Of the United States geological sur
vey published Monday reached ap-
proximately the 5000. OOO-ton mark. win
have little effect ON wholesale prices
In the Immediate future. dealers here
asserted Monday. Leading wholesalers
some distributing for the entire
Middle West, estimated that the nor
NAL weekly consumption had reached
between eight and nine million tons,
with some large users pressing for sup
plies.
Price. increases In the near future
were predicted by some dealers, es.
pecially In view of the Hoover agree
ment with the operators whereby
maximum figures were established for
mine deliveries in an effort to prevent
profiteering and speculation.
Estimates of the above ground sup.
ply now on hand were fixed by deal
ers here at about 100000 tons. of
which 100000 are in transit. At the
start Of the coal strike April sup.
plies were estimated at between So.
100000 and 6O,OOOOOO tons.
Increased activity in manufacturing
centers, the entry of several railroads
into market and orders for supplies
for Great Lakes vessels and the North.
west demand have transformed the
customary stagnant summer market
into daily competition among dealers
Tor shipments.
Iron County record. [volume] (Cedar City, Utah) 1893-1982, 1922-06-16
TO THE RESCUE OF THE FLAG
Disoruntled Hotel Owner Makes
Apology to Legion for Flying
Emblem upsldedown.

Before 1000 people in the pvt &c
square hotel man of st. Aurrstl.ss.
Fla, hoisted the American flag. salutet
1t and made public apology to the
local post of the American Legion for
flying the flag upsidedown. as a pro
test against the pitching Of carnly NJ
company tent near his hotel.
In Littleton, Colo, two steeple jacks
from the local Legion post climbed the
dome OF the court house and rescued
Iron County record. [volume] (Cedar City, Utah) 1893-1982, 1922-06-16

tour OF America
hos fallen for the
habit himself. Al
ton Il. Roberts Of
Marquette, Mich,
chairman OF the
American Legion
committee for the
reception OF dis
tlnguished guests,
had the pastry
cooks of North
and South Caro-
lima Swallowed for
two months to
Iron County record. [volume] (Cedar City, Utah) 1893-1982, 1922-06-16
obenchain Trail Again On

Los Angeles, Cal.-Mrs. Madalynne
Obenchain Monday for the second
time heard the state begin the presen.
tation of the evidence by which 1t
hopes to convict her Of the charge Of
the murder Of J. Bolton Kennedy on
August 8 last year. Mrs. Obenchain
faced trial once befor, the jury dis
agreeing. Arthur Burch, arrested with
her, has been twice tried. and each
of his trials also resulted In disagree
ment.
Iron County record. [volume] (Cedar City, Utah) 1893-1982, 1922-06-16
=. Putnam Fade|ess Dyes a To-. :: F.
What figures Are For.

"What good are the figures set down
In these railway time tables?" asked
tho sarcastic and angry would-be pas
senger.
"Why," explained the genial station
master, ''lf It werrit for them figures
we'd have no way OF hndin' out how
late the trains are"
Iron County record. [volume] (Cedar City, Utah) 1893-1982, 1922-06-16

government hos
pital to Broad
way vaudeville Is
a step fully as
Ion g. Dav d
Gardiner of the
One Hundred and
Fifteenth infan-
try achieved them
both.
A veteran OF
Chateau Thlerry,
st. Nllhiel and
the Argonne. Gar
diner was wound
Iron County record. [volume] (Cedar City, Utah) 1893-1982, 1922-06-16
uss Radio to Catch eootlsaaer.

Washington of bootleg
gers now are being tipped off by ra-
dio. according TO a statement issued
Monday by Commissioner Haynes. RAJ
do service, he said, has been enlisted
to assist prohibition enforcement and
Is being used successfully In Michigan,
Colorado and Florida.
Iron County record. [volume] (Cedar City, Utah) 1893-1982, 1922-06-16
PendInq.

'"Well, want to marry my daughter,
supposef" snapped the grouchy mil
lionaire as he glowered at the timid
youth, Adjusting his glasses he added :
"By the way. aren't you one OF my
daughters former suitOrs?'
"N-o-nO sir" faltered the choeilesi
one, but expect soon will be-.
American LeG IN Weekly.
Iron County record. [volume] (Cedar City, Utah) 1893-1982, 1922-06-16
Carrying On With the
American Legion

Since President Hardlng's order Of
May 10. 1921. over 600 ex-soldiers
have been commissioned as United
States postmasters.
The Montana state board OF educa.
ton has voted TO erect memorials to
student soldiers who lost their lives In
the World war, each memorial TO cost
$4,000.
The service flag is still flying. only
this time merchants are using 1t to
let the public know how many ex-
service men are employed In their
establishments.
Commander Hanford MacNider Of
the Legion recsfved invitations to this
number OF 100 from all over the coun-
try for his appearance on Memorial
day. He accepted the Invitation Of 81
Paul, MINI.
Iron County record. [volume] (Cedar City, Utah) 1893-1982, 1922-06-16
Chicago Plans 2s.story oaraoe.

tomoblle conveniences is proposed
automobile garage of rs stories, In Chi
cago. to cost $1.200.O00. After the
owner or driver deposits the car In the
building, an elevator carries II upstairs
and stores II In It's allotted space. All
this work Is accomplished by wom-
an operating at keyboard on the first
floor
Iron County record. [volume] (Cedar City, Utah) 1893-1982, 1922-06-16

get the recipe for certain angel food
cake that was handed aboard the
Foch train.
Since Mr.. Roberts finished with the
recent trip of Marshal Joffre across
the continent the recipe has been
found. Mr.. Roberts is now ready for
the eminent guests Of the Legion at
the New Orleans convention next DC.
tober.
Iron County record. [volume] (Cedar City, Utah) 1893-1982, 1922-06-16
TABLET GRACES LEGION SHIP
Bronze Piece In Main Dining Saloon
Engraved With Dedication by
National Commander.

The steamship American Legion"
Of the Munson lines. sailing between
New York and Buenos Aires with an
American Legion crew. now bears In
its main dining saloon bronze tablet
Iron County record. [volume] (Cedar City, Utah) 1893-1982, 1922-06-16

ed and gassed In service. He has
spent 10 months In hospital as a re-
suit On the morning OF his release
he signed for a membership In the
American Legion and for theatrical
engagement In New York.
Iron County record. [volume] (Cedar City, Utah) 1893-1982, 1922-06-16
A Preferences.

We rather hope 1t will turn out that
the dead can't really speak to US after
all, as we have number OF deceased
friends who we'd rather believe are
pleasantly situated as long as we can.
Ohio State Journal.
Iron County record. [volume] (Cedar City, Utah) 1893-1982, 1922-06-16

"Ameriean Legion" Steamship Tablet.
engraved with a dedication signed by
the national commander OF the Legion.
The formal presentation of the
tablet was made in the presence Of
the New York and New Jersey officials
of the Legion and two hundred guests.
Iron County record. [volume] (Cedar City, Utah) 1893-1982, 1922-06-16

Krlss-'Is the marriage contract
bindlngf" Kross-"Yes; It keeps q
man strapped for life."-New York
Sun.
Iron County record. [volume] (Cedar City, Utah) 1893-1982, 1922-06-16

One way to avoid even the appear
snce of evil is to daub the cats face
with jam.
Iron County record. [volume] (Cedar City, Utah) 1893-1982, 1922-06-16

Being diplomatic may seem expen-
,ive at the time, but in the long run
Il pays.
Iron County record. [volume] (Cedar City, Utah) 1893-1982, 1922-06-16
READY FOR THE cAKE-EATERs
Alton Roberts. Chairman Of Leclsr
Committee FOR Reception Of Quests.
Lands Choice Recipe.

The man who made cake eater
Of Marshal Foch during the marshal's
Iron County record. [volume] (Cedar City, Utah) 1893-1982, 1922-06-16
,Che:oon
O.LeSion

Copy for THIS Department Supplied b.
the American Legion News service)
Iron County record. [volume] (Cedar City, Utah) 1893-1982, 1922-06-16

Continual cheerfulness is a sign OF
wisdom.
Iron County record. [volume] (Cedar City, Utah) 1893-1982, 1922-06-16
RETURNS TO THE F00TulGHTS
David Gardiner, Former Douohboy,
After Months In Hospital, Re-
sumes Theatrical Work.

From matinee darling to doughboy
In the trenches Is long step. From
Iron County record. [volume] (Cedar City, Utah) 1893-1982, 1922-06-16

No two grains OF sand are exactly
alike.
Iron County record. [volume] (Cedar City, Utah) 1893-1982, 1922-06-16

what we have done makes us what
we axe.
Belington progressive. [volume] (Belington, W. Va.) 1912-1927, 1922-01-12
CARD OF THANKS

Through the columns of this paper.
We wish to thank, one and all our
many friends and neighbors, for your
kindness and sympathy shown us.
During the sickness and death Of our
dear baby Evelyn Irene. May Gods
blessings be bestowed upon you all.
SYLVIA JONES SIMON
MR.. and MRS. C. H. JONES'.
In memory of little Evelyn Irene.
who departed this life Dec. II, 1921.
Age fifteen months and fifteen DAYS
gone but not forgotten.
Put away the little dresses that our
darling used to wear. She will need
them on earth never, She has climb
ed the golden star. She is with the
happy angles, And I long for her
sweet kiss. Where her little feet are
waiting. In the realms of perfect
bliss. Can Aunt)
Belington progressive. [volume] (Belington, W. Va.) 1912-1927, 1922-01-12

Boyd Hoibert is taking over the
Ford agency at this place,
Jerome j. Polling of Nestorville was
here Monday on business; he will put
in flour mill in Belngton in the near
future.
1t is just as simple as water run
ming down hill that high prices of
everything must come down to the
level normally.
All, Public Service Commission
while we SILVER around and high rate
gas fires, we have words to say that
wouldn't do to go into an almanac.
The trial of Ulysses Grant Price
at the county seat on the charge of
having moonshine whiskey in his poss
ession resulted in an acquittal: the
evidence Of the worthy state police
whose business is to both keep you
out of trouble as well as to get you in,
was much like the present day skirts
not much to it.
State Police were rummageing a.
round this section a part of the past
week they really visit our city so Of
ten that you would think think that
our excellent police force were not
able to look after the violations of
law in this city. They carry big
pistols in leather holsters and appar-
emily try to look like the Canadian
mounted police; they also look brave
and probably some of them are. Some
people like them and some do not; it
seems their reputation about their
rendezvous in Elkins is SO good that
this attitude is. hardly understood.
Belington progressive. [volume] (Belington, W. Va.) 1912-1927, 1922-01-12
MAN LIVES WITH BROKEN BACK

Henry Shockey who lives in the
Bend River section, while hauling
fodder last Friday in some manner
was caught between the wagon rack
and tree while trying to stop the
team that was rapidly moving. DR..
J. W. Strother took the injured man
to the hospital at Elkins where it de-
veloped that two of the vertebraes in
the region of the hips were badly brok
en- and crushed, resulting in paralysis
of the lower extremities. There could
be little done for the injured man at
Elkins and he was taken to Baltimore
for treatment, Monday.
Belington progressive. [volume] (Belington, W. Va.) 1912-1927, 1922-01-12
WRIT OF ERROR
GIVEN COONTZ
BELINGTON NAN GRANTED WRIT
OVER DECISION OF JUDGE KIT
TIE IN BARBOUR COUNTY

CHARLESTON, Jan. 5.7A writ of
error and superceedas was granted by
the Supreme Court of Appeals today
IN the case of Greed Coontz, of Be-
lington, appealing from the Circuit
Court of Barbour County. Coontz
was found guilty on charge of I'M
lawfully wounding w. L. Mason, also
OF Belington, and the sentence of 18
months with fine of $1OO had been
imposed.