davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1922-06-01
MARX TWAIN IN WASHINGTON
Good Stories Concerning soIourn Of
the Famous Humorist at Capital
Are Current Still.

When Mark Twain lived in Wash
lngton the streets in the national cap.
itaI were in such a condition that an
Intoxicated philosopher optly described
them by saying when it's dry
you can't see where you are going,
anu when it's wet you can't GO"
Mark Twain remarked that the win
ter visitor would probably wonder, II
there happened to be thaw when he
came to town, why the city fathers
were so shortsighted as not to dilute
the mud little more and use the
streets for canals.
Another story told aboNt Mark
Twain during his stay there which is
probably better known, had it's be-
ginning when the humorlst called TO
see Grover Cleveland at the Wh,ie
House. The President and Mrs Cleve-
land had invited Mark Twain and his
wife to dine with them, and the latter
was i'll and unable TO 90, Mark Twain
went alone, apologized for the alb
N'AN' vi nINt NAtllNllNt NNltAiHlN
handed Mrs. Cleveland paper, and
asked her to sign it. In surprise she
inquired what It was and why she
should sign 1t. Mark Twain turned
the paper over and showed her a line
in Mrs. Clemens handwriting: "Don't
wear your arctics to the White House"
Mrs. Cleveland wrote underneath the
line: "He didn't"
While In Washington Mark Twain,
who for nearly two years was
newspaper correspondent, having sat
in the press galleries of the senate
and the house, wrote two humorous
articles "a Late Senatorial Secretary
ship and Facts Concerning n Recent
Resignation" Both of these articles
were written about his own expert
ences, ms he had been private secre.
tary TO Senator Stewart of Nevada but
not finding his duties congenlal, he re.
signed.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1922-06-01
OUR ANCESTORS TREATED
CONSTIPATION NATURALLY

Constipation is as old as the world.
Most people must fight 1t from birth
to death. Some use harsh cathartcs
or metallic drugs that force relief
but do not strengthen tho organs so
that they perform their functions
normally.
Our early ancestors turned to
Nature for pleasant relief From
herbs, banks, roots and leaves bless.
ed with laxative properties, they pre-.
pared a pleasant, effective extract
Such remedy as our forefathers
made is Or. Trues Elixir the True
Family Laxative and Worm ExpeIler.
Prescribed for his patients originally
ieventy.one years ago by DIR. ]. f.
True, conscientious Maine country
doctor, II has become household
favorite. Contains no metallic drugs
just pure extracts that purify the
bowels as they cleanse. Used over
40 years. Observation-Disclosures.
mem.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1922-06-01
Victory Made a Difference.

During the allied occupation Of Ger
many, an amusing encounter took place
between a British soldier and u Ger
man baroness.
The baroness writes Miss Violet Il.
Markham in watching on the Rhine
told a British officer that one Of his
men insulted her. Indeed she de-
clared, she had never been so insult
ed in her life. The officer at once
began inquiries and finally learned
that the lady had found two British
soldiers whistling and sliding down the
banisters of her back stairs. She
had told them sharply that whlstling
and sliding on the banisters were YER
boten. Whereupon Thomas Atkins,
genial and indicated, had turned to
her and remarked pleasantly, aye,
nlssus, but yer should have won the
war, and then yer could have come
and slid down our back stairs and
whlstled."
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1922-06-01
THE BONBON MAN
BY LILLIAN M. ROYCE
'S~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


Eva Richards glanced at her wrist
watch then eXpectantly down the
street. With disappointed look in
her blue eyes she bent her pretty head
over the typewriter and began making
out bills for her employer Mr.. Tasker
Somehow Eva had grown to look
forward TO the semi-weekly visits of
the hashful youth who, ut exactly five
o'clock on Wednesdays and Saturdays
would ease his broad shoulders care
fully into the tiny shop. He always
bought bonhOns. The young lady did
not care for chocolates, he said, and
so Eva always thought Of him as the
bonbon man. Though the candy must
be for his sweetheart, Of course, Eva
felt a personal interest liz making the
box as attractive as possible. Just
as If 1t We're for me- she confessed
10 herself with n blush.
On other evenings Eva had been in
no haste TO reach her dreary little
room after hasty dinner In some
cheap restaurant, but tonight was DIFF
fcrent. She had moved just the day
before to Il large boarding house filed
with young people and she looked
forward to seeing them again. One
girl especially, Alma Gray. had been
very friendly and finding that Eva
was a stranger In the city had asked
her II she would like to 20 ont some
evening with her, accompanied by
Alma's fiance, George Hamilton, and
his friend and roommate, Arthur
Bailey. Alma was sure she would like
Mr.. Bailey, but of course no one could
be as nice as George. Perhaps they
might decide TO go tonight. She re-
traced her steps to a little millinery
shop and with n certain jaunty toque
IN her possession, walked quickly to
the boarding house.
And there Alma met her with the
news that George and his friend were
to take them to the movies and to sup
per afterward. Eva couldn't help
wishing that the bonbon man we're to
be her escort instead OF the mysteri-
Gus Mr. Bailey, but she felt that she
was being ungrateful to Alma and
tried TO keep her thoughts on the
party before her. Alma invited her
to stop In her room moment before
dinner, and there on the dresser Eva
spled box Of candy like the one she
had arranged so tastefully for the
bonbon man an hour before.
DO have some candy, Eva. I've
had this since Wednei day, but It's
still fresh. George brings me a box
twice week. There are no cnoco-
lates, though. I never eat chocolates,
Eva felt that a piece of thas candy
would choke her.
mo, thanks-I have n chance to
eat Il all day If like You see / +
work at Mr. Tasker's olpdy store"
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1922-06-01
REPORT MANY ACCIDENTS
Weekend and Holiday Driving Re
suits in Usual Grist,

Montpelier, May 31.--Taere were
many accidents rported today to the
secretary Of State as a result OF the
weekend and holiday driving. In the
last ten days four fatal accidents
have been reported. These are the
first to be reported to the office this
season. p. c. Brigham, driving one
Of the G. S. Paige cars, reported that
to avoid another machine he had TO
ditch the Paige machine Clarence
Phelps reported that his car and that
OF Clare Carney collided. o. H. Bor
deau Of West Berlin reported that he
ditched his car to prevent hitting an
other. Joseph Bergeron Of Newport
reported that his machine hit a BIZ
cycle and that the car then went in
to the lake II. f. O'Donnell report
ed that his car hit a woman carry
ing a baby in the She burne road,
probably the same accident as report
ed last week by anotler man.
A. j. Payne reported that he left
his Ford stand'ng and that while he
was in store FIVE minutes, it started
down the street and ran into another
machine
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1922-06-01
The Modern Way.

BllnkuIds needs new motor car,
The old bus is about joed. 1t rattles
in the transmission and jumps in the
rear, The engine pumps oil like a
gusher. The valve taps sound like a
battle of snaredrums. The top is as
handsome MS an old umbrella, and he
has stopped risking bumps with his
tires.
The mortgage is overdue on the
house, which needs roof, and the
company is doing pretty slow business
this year His wife is wearing last
years clothes, and his one suit has
long forgotten the feel of u nap, They
are eating storage eggs and buying
butter seconds, because the grocery
bill is something fierce.
But Mr.. Blinkums needs q new car,
and this prophet lays ten to one he
gets lt.-Richmond Tlmes.Dlspatch.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1922-06-01
TWO cows SLAUGHTERED
Start Made Toward Having Herds Ac-
credited.

Start Made Toward Having Herds Ae-
credited.
About 30 farmers attended the tu-
berculosis demonstration held on the
Leland sherman farm in North
Bennington Wednesday afternoon,
through tie cooperation OF the State
Department of Agriculture and the
Bennington County Farm Bureau.
Two cows were slaughtered. one
from the Sherman herd and one from
Alexander Young's. Lessons were
found in liver and skin Of one and in
the portal and cervical glands OF the
other. Botl cases were not pro
nounced enough to serve as good
demonstrations but shows that the
herds under test have a good chance
Of passing next test with c.ean
S atc.
The two herds mentioned above are
the first in this section to take on
accredited herd work as offered by
the State and Federal government
The work in this county is being con
Quoted by Dr. r. II. Fessler Of Rut.
land who was assisted by DR.. H. w.
Burgess.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1922-06-01

she said with an effort. SO the bon
bon man was engaged to Alma. She
couldn't understand that young Iady's
expression rs she looked ut her sharp
~ and then began TO laugh.
ooh, you do This is too good" She
murmured about fate and Cupids best
friend but Eva was too miserable to
listen.
Then they hurried down to dinner,
but Eva no longer looked forward to
the evening. She had felt all along
that the bonbon man was engaged,
but she could not bear to see him at
tentive to another girl, even Alma.
who had been SO good TO her. She
couldn't remember how she managed
TO finish her dinner, but with all her
misery she was conscious that Alma
was very much excited about some
thing. They had to dress quickly and
Eva was Just slipping on the new hat
at a becoming angle when Alma
knocked at the door.
You look spiffy Come on down.
The boys have come"
Alma led the way into the big par
Tor and yes, there was the bonbon
man and another man waiting for
them.
Miss Richards, allow me to intro
duce Mr.. Hamilton" Eva half turned
toward the bonbon man. But here
was the other man holding out his
hand.
"And this is Mr.. Bailey" said Alma,
turning toward the bonbon man. She
laughed as they shyly shook hands.
Arthur don't you think I'm pref
ty good friend to Cupld2 You have
been wanting TO meet the charming
girl who works In Mr.. Tasker's shop,
and here she is. Eva, l thought I'd
see If you couldn't distract Arthur's
attention from his unknown lady fair
and you turn out to be the very one
herself"
"But don't understand" said Eva,
as they paired Off and started down
the steps you always bought the
candy The bonbon man laughed.
"Well, that was because George
works out of town and has to catch
n certain car uptown which doesn't
give him time for any shopping l.
was certainly n faithful friend, but
Alma was getting tired of the same
kind Of candy all the tine and / didn't
dare ask you out without meeting
you In the proper way and couldn't
find anyone who knew you, but It's all
right now" and he took her arm pos.
sessIvelY as they walked down the
street.
Il always thought you were en-.
gagged" murmured Eva.
Not yet, but hope to be soon"
the bonbon man replied meanlngIy rs
he helped her carefully down the
curb.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1922-06-01
The Rattlsanake.

One of Bossworth's young sprouts
was coming home about twelve o'clock
the other night on the south road, and
just as he got even with the grave.
yard the engine went dead. But he
said he got so scared when he saw
where he was that tie shoot the car
so badly the burned old thins thought
the motor WINS running, and came clear
to town before 1t discovered It's mis-.
take'--Sclence and Invention Maya.
zine.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1922-06-01
Freak Phraae.

AT the club the other evening the
conversation turned TO palindromes,
words and phrases which spell tie
same whether you start at the begin
ming or a: the end. One member re-
marked that the best palindrome he
had ever seen-ihe best because It
was perfectly natural sequence Of
words In an observation-disclosures n
sign which appeared In drugstore
window many years ago. 1t was at
a time when Red Root was popular ms
q curative agent aud the pallndromIc
sign ran: "Red Root Put Up 10 Or.
der."-Boston Transcript.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1922-06-01
Exhanatad the snhlnnt.

"of course, you all talked about me
as soon as l left"
"No, dear. We thought you had az.
tended to that quite Sufficiently
Boston Transcript
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1922-06-01

A new telescope win bring Mars
within two miles OF the earth, accord.
Ing to PALS astronomers. WIN tho
scientine gentlemen please t.sm their
instrument on a nice juicy beefsteakT
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1922-06-01

down condition and are suffering from
a lack Of proper nourishment You
need a tonic to build up new strength
and health and to increase your power
Of resistance.
You should take just such tonic as
Father Johns Medicine. The chief
element of Father Johns Medicine is
commonly called by physicians ma
lures greatest food" This element
is divided up into the tIniest of par
ticles which are readily taken up by
even the weakest Of digestive systems.
Father Johns Medicine nour.shes the
body tissue and enriches the blood,
so that the people taking it are soon
restored to normal health. Start tax
ing Father Johns Medicine today.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1922-06-01
Here Is Natures
Greatest Food
What Scientists Say About The
Chief Elements of Father
Johns Medicine.

If you find
y on r s e | (
getting list
less, a zy
and inactive
do not at
tribute your
condition to
the so-called
= spring fe-
YER" You
q T. q Tpq1ly
/ n q run
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1922-06-01

TO RENT-Barn. suitable for gar
age. VIII hold three cars. Inquire Of
Frank Evans 223 Union St 25t6'
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1922-06-01

WANTED-Posltion as chauffeur or
truck driver Seven years experience
Address Wilbur Mattison, care Banner
Office. 25tb'
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1922-06-01
TOO LATE TO CLASSIFY

FOR SALE-Kitchen stove which has
been used Will be sold at q very low
price. Apply Mrs. j. Levin, corner
North and River streets. 25t6
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1922-06-01

WANTED-Posltion by experienced
chauffeur In private family
Cali 539-M este
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1922-09-19
BISHOPS CONDEMN
UKLUx 0UTRACES
Concur With EpiscopaIian Depu-
ties in Denouncing KIan
and Mob Rule
SOCIALIST BISHOP" NAMED

Portland. Ore, Sept. 10--Rt. Rev.
Fanl Jones. formerly Bishop Of Utah.
ard known as the Socialist Bishop.
Yesterday was nominated as missionary
Bishop OF Eastern Oregon. The NOM.
nation was made in the House Of
Bishops by Bishop Benjamin brewster.
of Maine VITO is one Of the leaders Of
advanced social movements in the Epis-
copal Church.
Other nominations were W. L. Rem.
ing'on, now Suffragnn bishop Of South
Dakota; III" Rcvs. Drs. w. 4. Good
win. Of Rochester, ". T.; Benjamin
ID. Dagwell. Pueblo. Colo. Edward NJ
Cross. st. Paul. Mimi; Thomas Jcn-
kins. Portlsnd. Ore. and !. Walter
Gresham. dean Of the Cathedral Of San
Francisco. Dcan Gresham was nomi-
mated bv the presiding Bishop. Daniel
:. Tnttle. lie declined his election as
missionary Bishop Of the Philippine
, Islands thr"" years ago.
: Tho nomination oe Bishop Paul
Jones has aroused considerable com
n,cnt. AZ h" resigned his jurisdiction OF
Utah in 1915 because of his views on
!
! remains Bishop without jurisdiction
aru with seat and vote in the House
OF bishops. but he IL not attending the
! r"nrcntton. The Indications point In
g, the Q lection Of Bishop Remington, ny hic
mo'n!nn''on was seconded by thirty
Bishops.
! IN" bishops c"ncurred with the depu-
! tleS IN the adoption or resolutions con.
d"mntns mob violence. lynch law. the
Nj Klnz Nian and the marriage Of
physical and mental detectives.
BY an overwhelming majority the
deputies rejected the amendment 10
he constitution which would permit the
election OF women as deputies in the
General Convention.
Licensing Of women as Law readers
! in the Protestant Episcopal Church
/ was approved last night by tho House
+ o: Deputies. ihc ,lnpIties voted ynC IA
T." TO adopt "anon amcndment
! which remains to he arted uron by
: the House Of Bishops. attar tho Rev.
, DR.. Edwin A. White. Of Newark. \
( j.. said that tho innovation would
/ help the Church in many places. es.
/ necnlly in the mountain regions nj
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1922-09-19

ucSNrIptlVr t0IU-
er. Or call at our
SaIcsroon.O Or ask
for a iycc tri%! il
your own home.
No obligation.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1922-09-19
NEW EVENING HIGH SCHOOL
OPENED IN KENSlNGTON
Sessions to Be Held Mondays. Tues.
days and Wednesdays

days and Wednesdays
new evening high school for men
and women was opened last night at the
kcnsingIon High school as the ses-
sions OF the city evening schools started
the new term. The sessions are held
every Monday, Tuesday and Wednes.
day from 80 to 9:l5.
Last year the enrollman, in the eve.
ming high schools was lJ.O4S and in
the evening elementary schools 4I2l.
II is expected this years enrolment
will exceed tina, amoun, by at least 20
per cent.
Tho evening high schools are as fol-
lows:
Central tunn and women. Broad
and Green streets: Annex no. |.
Broad and Green streets: Annex No.
:. Sevcntecnth aud Wood street, ::
Frankfort tmcD and women. Oxford
avenue aud Harrison streets: German
town lmen and women. Germantown
avenue and High street: Kensington
'men md women. Coral aud tumber.
lnrd streets: Northeast ,mrn ana
womcnl. Eighth stru"t aud Lehigh ave-
nue.; South Philadelphia ,mcn and
womcnl. Broad and Jackson streets :
West Philadelphia Imrn apd women
Forty-"igh,h and Walnut streets: VIII
liam Tenn 'womcnD. Fifteenth and
Wo1lq,c StrnpIy
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1922-09-19
UPLIFT IN MOORESTOWN
Welfare Week Includes Attractive
PROGRAM for Children

MovrestOwn. \. j.. Sept 10 Child
Welfare Week is being observed lprr.
Rrginning yesterday morning mnt end
ing tonight Il religious canvass j. h"iu2
made throughout the community, the
results Of whirh VIA h" uirncd over To-
tue NHrot> ,hurch'. IN the town.
TOMORROW night union h"ryic" Will
hr roudurlrd in the Baptist Churrh.
MiSp Frances NJ. llcddrn, Of tide
New Jersey Sunday school As>u-
riulion, will be the speaker !
pageant also will be- given by lh"
yo,Iug peopl' Of that church. On FRI
,u.y, in til. Criterion Audlforium. IT."
film story. "Vhr Stream OF Life" will
be shown IN the afternoon and evening.
Saturday At > =, NJ. there will be u
"s'ory .tcIing hour in the high
shoot. Norlh Church public .rhuol.
Friends A"NUrunN, Stanwi k School,
Lrnola school uud the Hartford Union
Sunday SrhoVl, on Sunday there will
he Rally Day service at $3.50 "'"Iorl,
on the lawn Of the Friends Meeting
lousr. \ Baby show also i being ar.
rUns"I,
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1922-09-19
SIXTEEN IRISH KILLED
IN COUNTY MAYO FIGHT
Dali President Gets Leave to Pre-.
sent Bill Embodying Constitution


Belfast. Sept 19.--'By 4. P.'-T"n
Republicans aud six National.sts were
shot dead in n fierce conflict al ErrI>.
in Northern County Mayo. when III.
Republicans. rrtreating from Bal:na,
w"r" a'tarkrd by Government troops.
The military were Al II Disadvantage in
that th"N hui n" narhln"- "-gUnS and
they Suffered s"v"r"i in the earlier
stages Of Oh" tight. Later their arrm.
rate mar&sman,hip took II heavy r"'i
from the Republicans.
, Brgadirr Grnrrai \"ary. with -
small party. was cut off tr"M IN" main
body and captured, but "Narrowerrd his
guard and escaped. Th" "nnmauder
Of the ir""ns narrowly avoided cap
turr.
Thr"e Mathematics and on" tNpubli-
can were killed aud others wounded
when small party Of rruopS vas am
hnshrd in County Tpp"r"ry Sunday
morning.
4 m0s,rd attack by n" Republicans
ON Rathb.aic. County l.im'rIrk. re-
sultod In the caplure OF tho courthouse,
which was 80, on fire by l- garrison.
Onr Of the \alinnuIisl> lost his life IN
tlr tire.
Dublin. sept. 10. -,B, \. ~
I.raY" TO iutruducr 4 hill tor cna''.Ls
II constitution for the Irish Ere. Sla'"
was granted at Nr.,erdaN = session 0f
Parliament William (">gravr. prrsi
dent OF the Daii. in asking Permission
ru intrudure the Til. hnid The measure
rombnrd the best elements T." BE- fuund
il the constitutions Of other domnions
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1922-09-19
Dies From Ptomaine Poisoning

John Kennedy. fifty seven years old.
4EJ North American street. died in the
RooSeYrIt Hospital last might from pto.
main" poisoning. II" MAS taken i'll
while eating hi, dinner.
The Morning Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Okla.) 1919-1927, 1922-06-25
AEz4A1aA&q@nanoe4JIsgZo,g4eHaLAaHzsmsng

81 have failed" announced
shortly.
took lsobels hand II was cold
as ice, and could feel that she
was trembling violently
Madame Richard would tell me
nothing, lsobel" said 81 believe
that she knows all about you. and
believe that Lady Delahaye does
too. But they will tell NE moth.
ing"
"Andg" she demanded, with quiy.
erinE lips "And2'
at is for YOU to decide" I said
gIayely Lady Delahaye wants
you, so does Madame Richard on
the other hand, II you like to stay
with rs until someone proves their
right TO take you away, you viii he
very welcome, lsobel' Stop one
moment" | added hastily, for
saw the quick color stream into
her cheeks. and tho impetuous
words already trembling upon her
lips, Il want you to remember this.
Madame Richard makes no secret
Of her own wishes as regards yOul
future She desires you 10 take the
veil You have lived al the con
vent, so presume you are able to
Judge for yourself as regards that.
Lady Delahaye, on the other hand,
Is rich woman. and she processes
10 he your friend Your life with
her. II she chose TO make It So,
would be an easy and a pleasant
one. We, as you know, are poor
The Morning Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Okla.) 1919-1927, 1922-06-25

hunting to the station Arnold.
what a sensible chap you are!'
We all laughed
"A good many people" Mabano
remarked quietly, "wOuld call US
three fools. Tell us. Arnold, did
you really discover nothiug|
Absolutely nothing" declared,
stop, though | di1 find out this.
There is some secret about the
childs parentage. have spoken
with two people who know n, and
one Of them warned me that in
keeping the child We we're intcncr
ing in greater matter than We had
any idea Of. OF course II might
have been a bluff, but ! fancy that
Lady Delahaye was in earnest
"Wnoeyer she ls," Arthur de-
clared, there's one thing Jolly GER
tain, and that is she's thorough
bred. She has the most marvellous
nerve | ever knew. We got ln a
tight corner this morning | took
her down 10 Guildiord in a trailer
and / had 10 Jump the pavement TO
avoid runaway She never
flinched for a moment. Half the
girls / know would have squealed
like mad. She only laughed, and
asked whether she should get out.
She's as thoroughbred as they
make them"
Perhaps" / answered, out I'm
not going to have you risk her life