Albuquerque morning journal., 1922-11-26
A Farmer on
the Middlenan

Some time" I says to him, folks is
gonta git wise to you burglars an sting
ye to DEATH"
He jest laughed an says, "Gwan," an
did. That afternoon l near got run over
by a big automobile that was racn' up
Fifth avenue, an darn me if that feller
wasn't settin' inside.
"By Godfrey" I says to myself there
goes my Clapps Favorites."
But that afternoon I'd put in the time
goin' round from one store an fruit stand
to another-wherever seen Clapp pears
tellin' em was a grower an askin' what
they had to pay bar1. That geeser had
told the truth, but six dollars was lower'n
any price l heard. They run all the way
to ten.
When I told them fellers I'd jest sold
forty bar'ls fer Las a barI T. o. b. Bas-
CONS Bridge they most shed tears askin'
me did have any more The last place
stopped at didn't do any talkin'. l just
bought two pears. l wrapped EN- up care
full in a clean hankchief an paper an
carried 'em all the way homo When / got
In the house l handed EN- to my wife,
WIZ was OFCI lllO olOfc WdILllll up 5Oul6
baked beans fer supper. MA" l says,
there's two Clapps pears l bought fer ye
in the city,"
"Joshuay," she says, tightenin' up her
mouth, "be you crazy? Huh! Buyin'
pears when we got hull half bushel in
the cellar"
mot them kind, you amt" says
"then1 cost fen cents apiece"
She looked 'em all over, m bimeby she
says: "They don't look no different from
ourn that you got less n half cent fer"
"Oh, yes they be-" says; these pears
has ben systematized"
We'll" she says, II wish they was some
way we cid systematic 'em before they
leave the farm then mebbe l cid git outa
this kitchen fer spell before l go to
glory"
They amt a chanst, Ma" says:
farmers amt never learnt how to do It."
But after that run into Jewish feller
that used to be in the fruit game in Muir
ray street himself an he told me how 1t
was done. It's as simple as steppfn' on a
tack an makes a feller feel just about as
prayerful. Ye see, when the stuff comes
to the dock. which is the sellin headquar-
ters fer the club members, they's a kind
of a scale O. prices, a confidential upset,
an except theys a bare market, when It's
every feller fer himself, it travels jest
about so. Whatever the price is nobody
worries much.
But whatever the first price is, there's
where they start pyramidin fer the con-
sumer. Ye know they's a law to govern
this commission business. / don't know
what commission man framed it, becus It
was passed a long time ago 1t fixed 10
per cent. as legal commission, l guess,
but it certainly didn't say how many times
the stuff could be sold, an there's the meat
in the cocoanut
At that time 1 was still simple enough
to believe Fourth of July orations was
almost the voice from Sinai instid of merely
to show how fit the speaker was fer Con-
gress. Senst I've had chanst to figger
out the workin's Of the system l found
out that such stuff is en'y KEEP on tap to
kid folks into thinkin they're still lvin'
under republican form of govment. I
got it pretty clear in my head now why
this food machinery runs eternally without
any interference from anybody. Poor OF
Monk Eastman - he was in the wrong
business Jesse James made the same mis-
take him an all the other honest hodup
men Of song an story. They want suffi-
ciently organized. They want coordinated
But don't you think fer holy minute
that this ere malta amt to be reckoned
with. Listen here. A neighbor Of mine.
Jim Lacey, is what call good orchard
man. He'd bought run down place that
had lot O. fruit on it. The trees was
pretty well demoralized but one block o.
Grimes Golden was nice twenty-year-
trees, an he got busy with 'em. He
sprayed 'em an sprayed 'em, till they was
clean as a new napkin, an he took off
about 400 bar'ls of apples as smooth as
wax
It's darn shame" Jim says to me- Ito
sacrifice that stuff to them commission
butchers to make four profits off of with
out turnin' hand or rislsin' dollar. I'm
gonta see If I can't git somethin' fer 'em"
So he come down to the city an went to
the buyer Of one O. the biggest fancy
stores they is. an showed him some Of
the apples. The feller says If they was
all like that he'd take the hull lot, but he
wanted 'em in small shipments.
suit yerself.' says Jim; "1'll send ye
twenty bafs week. All l wanted was
to git somethn' like price fer 'em."
So he begun to ship. About the third
lot, he got a short letter telin' him they
wouldn't need no more. He come down to
New York an asked the feller what was
the matter with 'em. He said nothin' was
the matter with em. They was just what
he wanted.
WELL" says Jim, what did We. stop EN-
fer? got three hundred bar'ls left"
The feller hummed an hawed, an finally
he says: II wouldn't want to have this
repeated, but the produce men got wise
that we was buyin' this stuff. an served
notice on us that we was gonta have a
hell of hard time gittin' any other fruit
when them Grimes was gone It's a darn
shame" he says, ''but ye see the huh
pitcher-we simply got to git on the wag-