The citizen. [volume] (Berea, Ky.) 1899-1958, 1922-01-05

tempted to do some idiotlc thing, and
have to suppress such impulses with
a mailed fist. It's all the outcome Of
vanity. a man hates to admit that
he's back number. He wants to
assure the plain people that. notwith-
standing his gray whiskers and string
halted legs, he's a four-horse team
with a dog under the wagon. when
II comes TO athletic skill.
II was In the livery barn the other
evening. when young Fretsinger be-
gan explaining that he had been TAX
ing boxing lessons from one OF the
old masters. He had learned all the
tricks Of the game. and was just suf-
ferlng agonies because there was no
body present who would stand up and
exchange scientific swats with him.
an my younger days, II I do say II
myself. was star performer In
the ordinary knock -down-and-drag-o out
form OF combat, hut ] never was worth
shucks nj boxing. Nobody knows that
better than I do. Why. then did !
inform Fretsinger that would he glad
to spar few rounds with hIml II
surely was vanity and nothing else.
had an idea that, while he might
have plenty OF the fancy stun on
hand. might land one Of my old-tlme
haymakers: In which case felt sure
the town would soon be ringing with
the story OF an old mans prowess.
$50 I took OF my long jimswinger
coat. and my vest. and stood up for
battle. II anybody tells you. my
friends, that Fretsinger doesn't know
how TO WELD his hands. you may re-
gard the story as a roorback. ] never
saw fists so numerous as on that Occa-
sion. I couldn't see anything else for
n while. and they landed on me In
many unexpected places, and ] don't
remember a time when was so en-
barrassed.
"Fretslnger explained afterward
that he merely tapped me gently be
cause I was venerable man. old
enough to he his grandfather. In that
case I never want Ia become involved
In an argument with him when he is
In earnest had a black eye for
week after this recital. and my nose
has never satisfied me since. Every
time came downtown. had 10 ex-
plain To thousand people that black
ened my eye while splitting kindllng.
or that I dropped a sad-lron on II.
There is nothing more Illuminating
than black eye, and ! made up my
mind that I'd try to realize, my nd
yanced age thereafter. and behave my
self like a grave and reverend man.
+ "But no sooner had my eye recov-
cred than ! was In trouble again.
saw some young men wrestling. ana
paused to point out that they didn't
know the rudlments OF the game. l
assured them that In my younger days
I was n holy terror. and ! didn't think
that my hand had lost its cunning.
II would afford me genuine happiness,
! said. to show them how wrestling
was done In the palmy days of Null
doom and Whistler.
$50 I removed my coat and vest and
went into executive session with
husky young man who had no respect
for gray hairs. ! am not sure about
what followed. but I think he must
have thrown me over his head. Any
how. I made great dent In the earth
with my person. and was so sore for
two weeks that ] had to take myself
around I'm a wheelbarrow. OF course.
I am determined 10 make no more bad
breaks of the kind but haven't much
confidence In myself and tomorrow
you may see me climbing tree half
a mile high. to show some boys how
to rob birds nests"