Pullman herald. [volume] (Pullman, W.T. [Wash.]) 1888-1989, 1922-12-29
Simple Cousin
Ambrose
By CLARA DELAFIELD

! get All uncle Reuben'S property
chuched Cousin Hillary.
"A good joke ON him" snorted
Cousin SllaS. 1T didn't pay him, after
all, shopping round here day after day
and handling Uncle Rcubens affairs
for him.
YES, and pretending to be so sim
pie, too said Cousin Amelia, indig
nantly.
Their anger was not without solid
foundation. for Uncle Reuben, who
had been reputed IA very rich man and
had been an eccentric, had died with
out will, and when his nephews and
nieces came to divide his property
they found that it totaled up to just
about two hundred dollars apiece.
Each felt privately outraged, for
each had thought himself or herself to
be Uncle Reuben's special con1idant
So had Cousin Ambrose, undoubtedly
After Uncle Reuben went blind
Cousin Ambrose had acted as his sec
rotary. Cousin Ambrose was forty,
pale, fat, puffy and carried on an auc-
tioneer'S business in :he town, which
left him a good deal Of leisure
Where the others played golf, Cousin
Ambrose devoted himself to the col
lection Of coins and postage stamps
and he was believed 10 have been re
fused by every girl in the place
Hes not a man said Cousin Silas
Ought to be dressed up in petticoats,
the great big simperinG ntnny"
Uncle Reuben had certainly been a
queer character. Ills hobby had been
Seaweed-not Il very inspiring one. but
he was Well-knoWn to botauists and he
had discovered one hundred and
eleven new species. He had been in
correspondence with correspondents
all over the world for forty years-be-
born.
However, he had presented all his
new samples to museums, and his col
lection in glass cases had been valued
by the expert who was summoned
after his death at exactly nothing.
"Nobody wants seaweeds," he ex-
planned, "and as your uncle gave away
the cream Of his collection, why
there's only the cases. And they're
not worth more than fifty cents apiece,
if you could get that"
Decidedly Uncle Reuben had wasted
forty years on the most singularly
useless hobby imaginable
And here were the relations, come to
agree to an amicable division of what
property there was, to avoid the neces-
sity of sale.
Il must have dear Uncle Reuben's
desk, at which he sat when he was
blind and helpless" said Cousin Am
brose, who had come sliding and puff
fling in.
"Wa'al, l dunno as l want it myself,
exactly said Cousin Silas, CHANGING
In contempt at the ancient piece
Didn't think it was valuable, did We,
Ambrose? We've had it valued you
know"
There was chortle of laughter at
the taking-down of Cousin Ambrose.
Cousin Ambrose nursed his knee.
ION, no. | don't want anything" he
answered. IT'S the dear, dear never
to-be-forgotten memories of our dead
uncle that 1t will bring back to me"
Cousins Silas and Hilary cast
glances of measureless contempt at
him.
"I'n take the parlor suite" said
Cousin Hilary.
Il want the best bedroom" claimed
Cousin Amelia.
They wrangled for two hours ThCj
went all over the house earmarking
the pieces which had all been tlcketed7
with their valuation prices, and then
there was another wrangle, because II
was found that Cousin Silas' property
was valued at two hundred and nine
| dollars, while each of the others had
a valuation of little less than two
| hundred, except Cousin Ambrose, who
couldn't get up to the hundred point,
even.
They hated Cousin Ambrose with
burning hate, because he said he'd
! simply take what was left as keep
sakes, and each of them had to dis
gorge something to make his share up
even.
Either he's a fool or a black
hearted sChemer," grOwled Uncle Hill
airy. That desk hasn't got a secret
drawer with money in it, has it?"
They ransacEed the desk, but 1t con-
tanned nothing but bundles Of letters,
dating back forty years, from all the
corners Of the earth. So, growing,
! they took their departure, after ac-
ceding to Cousin Ambrose's request
for Uncle Reuben's correspondence
! and seaweed notes.
week later Cousin Amelia met
! Cousin SIlas OF Main street. Say.
did you hear about Cousin Ambrose?'
! she gasped,
Been away, hasn't heF"
He's sold one Of the stamps of
Uncle Reuben's letters for four thou
sand dollars and another for twelve
hundred. They were the only speci.