The Belding banner-news., 1922-01-04
MY MUSTACHE
BY VIVIAN c. BURBANK.
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lssi. by Mcclure Newspaper syndlcat'


Ii took three years to raise the
thing the way | wanted IL. Natural
ly i was attached to II and was proud
of my achievement.
When the folks back home said dat
ly IL couldn't be done, j knew it could
and proved II.
Whatever possessed me to part with
it is beyond me.
l stepped nearer the glass and
looked closely at my upper lip.
Not trace Of my beloved mustache
remained. The barber certainly had
done good job.
To be frank, | wasn't exactly
pleased with the effect | had been
on the road tor over II year and this
w4S my first "Trip home IN that time
Yes. ilat's Him. all right" The
next thing | knew "A hand Erasped my
shoulder Turning, | confronted Il BIZ
burly cop,
"Wmi's the big ideaf'' ] asked
YOU'RE under ARE ST."
"Cnder arrestl" stunmcred.
"What for?"
".\ll right for you. jim O'Dly. Yon
tell Your little story 10 your wife.
here
loo';ed stupidity al the woman who
stepped up in front of me.
"Why hang il all officer. | never
had a WIFE
That's all right, but you Just come
,s,l. ali Il "a lf..ff
"Say, who in sam Hill do you take
me for?''
lost your memory. eh?" sneered
the woman.
You're all wrong, my man, tliis is
an outrage -
III Wasn't an outrage when YOU left
your Wife, was 'itg"
You're mad. woman. Great guns.
can't you tell your own husband?'
''That can" screamed the woman.
Already we were The center Of curl
Gus mob.
"See. that's my husband and that
pictures you.'
And neither did IL OF course be-
gan then To see light. | burst out
laughing. slapped the officer on the
hack goOd-naturedly, and said:
"One on YOU, old man. may re-
Sembe this picture; you see. I've worn
mustache up 10 an hour ago
"How long did YOU own mus
tachef' asked the woman, sarcastically.
'For just about three years, up 10
an hour age"
''Ha. ha, You should have kept the
thing. Just three years ago the third
Of this month my Jim cleared out"
you're sly one grinned the far
cop. THAT gag is as old as your
grandmother" | was furious. More
so when ! saw the patrol wagon pull
up 10 the curb. | turned 10 the WON
her in few words just what thought
Of her.
You'd better be careful what you
say. boss What you say generally
goes against you
| climbed into the wagon, followed
by that lunatic Of woman, and the
officer He was sizing me up in good
shape.
Mother woman?" he asked under
his breath.
II tell you there's no woman. That
maniac sitting there is no more my
wife than you are
Maniac, am IT, She began 10 rave
worse than ever.
you're fine man, you are. You're
a fine man To be the father OF eight
darlings."
Eight darlings be hanged" I thun-
dered..
"Pooh-you know well enough, jim,
the baby-just wait until you see him.
has a swell Job at the box factory.
Kate is some piano player. Gets SO
week down to Flam's movies. If you
want to do the right thing, Jim, TIL
tell the boss it's sorry | am I ever
had you plnched and Wen forget Ii
all"
"Will you keep that trap of yours
closed for five minutes?" | shrieked
at her
II will not" she yelled back at me.
shaking her fist. you're just the
same old brute you always were
Here we are, boss"
Believe me | was some glad To get
out. was led up the steps of the
station house.
The door opened: stood up and
faced the chief
"Jim Harrison, what the dickens
are you doing here?"
There, now, you heard me call Jim,
didn't your" piped up the woman in
a shrill voice. TRY To tell me | don't
know my own husband"
For once luck was with me Funny
I hadn't heard Billy Wayland had
been made chief.
1t didn't take me long to tell my
story. and after Wayland had heard
me through. II didn't take him long
70 straighten out matters.
: Billy insisted that ] 60 home TO din
ner with him. He and his wife sure