Evening star., 1922-07-30

luncheon with the ladies or motor
| trip in the afternoon.
He drifted over toward number one
and for few minutes they animatedly
discussed me. 1 am certain of that
by the looks they cast in my direc-
ton but they did not keep that up
long, as each one started to tell the
other of the wonderful offers they
had received and that they were 60
ing to appear in our production only
because the Shuberts, Dave Belasco
or some other theatrical big-bug had
refused to give them a private car
while on tour.
Funny that so many of them have
received offers from big producers and
turned them down. but ] guess Shu-
bert, Dave and the rest in New York
| spend many hours of weepful re-
| morse at not being able to secure
wonderful stars.
"As Umpire Connolly would say,
that makes two out and the third one
up to the plate was the alleged COM
edian of the show. To give the devil
his due, he is not SO awfully rotten,
and while of course he is not in a
class with Willie Collier, De Wolf
Hopper. Lew Fields or any others
known to fame. he is not half bad at
that-that is. when he has funny
lines written for him. But when he
gets away with the stuff that some
nimble- minded person has written and
tries to pull some of his own lines.
he is just about as facetious as an
undertaken who lives in a commu
nifty where the only deaths are caused
by old age and all the inhabitants
are just under thirty.
.,He prances in and tries to add to
my burden of sorrows by springing
a gag about a Ford. It might have
been a good one in the early days
when Henry had a little two-by-four
shop and had his fellow conspirators.
the Dodge brothers and Mayor Couz-
ems of Detroit, all of them working
on the farmers delight. that noble
animal that has enabled Uncle Josh
to bring his produce to market.
make goo-goo eyes at the village
dressmaker, buy couple of slabs OF
chewing tobacco and get home in
time to do the chores.
" X
UT SHOOED him away, when along
l came the ingenue. She had hers
bobbed like the rest of them. but she
is right sweet little thing If it was
not for that fool lisp that she af-
fects, sort Of baby stuff. you know.
That was all right when We used to
have stage door johnnies, which. by
the way, / might add, are nearly ex-
tinct, something like the dodo bird.
"Outside Of these four problems the
first part Of the morning got along
pretty well. OF course, the chorus Is
green yet, and that combined with
having three or four flappers that are
Just breaking into the game. doesn't
make II any too easy for yours truly,
| but YOU ought to have seen the blow
off about / o'clock. Cutey' seemed
to have remembered his luncheon en-
gagement and slid three or four notes
over, all of them off key; the COM
edian stuck in several lines ad lib.
while the chief She tried to muss
up the game by saying she was go
ing to faint, but she snapped out
of It when 1 told her that her under
study was a husky young woman
and did not know what faint
means.
"All of these things are not quite
a.. bad as the work OF the chorus
and the grand finale. A couple of
the new girls got twisted UP in their
steps and thus threw out the others,
and instead of being a graceful. un-
dulating, rhythmic, beautiful move
ment Of feminine loveliness. it ra-
sembled more stampede of cattle
or lot of college boys doing
dance on q campus. 1 blew up right
] there and then and called luncheon.
but in fifteen minutes We were at it
again.
This will give you a slight idea
Of the things that stage director
has to contend with while whipping
a, new show into shape. | have Only
mentioned just a few of the high
spots The others you can pick out
| for yourself II you want to como
out again tomorrow.
what do intend to do when 1
am too old for this game? Ny am
bition, like all the rest of the men
who have whipped shows into shape.
| ia to have q nice quiet little farm
onewhere out In the country. That
Us a dream to ali Of us. but 1t 10 .
dream that never comes true"