Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1922-02-15
The Groeer's Love


/ As lovely as the day;
He wondered if she'd marry him,
| She said, ''Let SOAP she may"
And straightway to her house he went
/ Her lovely face to see,
That CHEESE the girl for me-"
The girl was very kind and said
That she was very glad
To see him there, and then remarked
| What bad COFFEE had.
And they got most intimate,
And she let him kiss her brow;
| But when he spoke of marriage, said,
20, do not TEAS me now"
X X X X
What kind of an apple is Carl Coe7
He is a Baldwin.
X X X X
A Mothers Love
Liberty Kansas Advance)
John Warren of Nashua says an old
black hen at his home has taken upon
/ herself the task of mothering a lit
ter of ten pigs, clucking and scratch
] ing away for them, and when they lie
down she makes a strenuous effort
1 to spread her wings over them.
Now, isn't that just like a hem
Here all the world is hollering for
fried and boiled eggs for breakfast,
and she's raising : pigs'
The two Brewer boys ought to make
good on the High School base ball
team because they're 80 good on the
slide.
Daughter-Everette kissed me last
night.
Mother Indignantly That's out
rageous. Did you sit ON him for it I?
Daughter certainly did!
If Ruth Fleming Should die, would
Beulah Barry her?
When man smokes long enough to
form habit, then he has to habit.
X X X X
A man may be wise and never
know it; fool will soon find it out.
X X
Would you say that Rev. Bullock
was a beast of burden because he
breaches such heavy sermons?
1 He who drinks near-beer has no
kick coming.
Shenie Helgeson says one of the
strangest things in this world is how
cheap a box of candy seems to a
| young man before he married, and
how high an ice cream cone seems
afterward
1t was Terribly Funny
/ Mr.. Kane had recently become the
! father of twins. The minister stop
ped him on the street to congratulate
him.
"Well, Kane" he said, 81 hear that
the Lord has smiled on you"
"Smiled on me-" repeated Kane.
He laughed out loud"
! x X X X
Physiological Lore
"Say old Top" chirped the Cheerful
Chump as he trickled into the club,
'do you chaps know why the steering
wheel of an auto ought to make the
chauffeur sick? You can't guess :?
Well, then I'll tell you. It's because
it goes against his stomach"
Amos fash Says:
Looks like this years gointa be a
dandy one for peanuts all right, AL
though tn winters kinda tame, our
coal piles dwindlin' jest tn same
how bout yourn ?"
That Plnned Her Down
'Mother, | just took a splinter out
of my hand with pin!"
"a pin! Don't you know that's dan
gerous ?"
ooh no,mother, used safety PIN"
Whenever you see chorus girl with
new Hudson seal coat-it is none OF
your business.
Sherlock Holmes in Love
"And when l kissed her / smeiled
tobacco"
"You object to a woman VIII o
smokes ?"
"No, but she doesn't smoke. Sid
ney Bulletin.
Il n n n
Did you ever stop to think what q
snap Prof. C. G. Culver has? Most
of his work is play.
\ X " X
The Office Cat is reliably informed
that big truck load of ammunition
has just been received by the Ameri-
can Legion. You fellows who don't
as yet wear Legion button had bet
ter take the hint and join, else you're
liable to see your nanny in the prom
ised land sooner than you expected.
II y Y X
A lovelorn young man from KY.
Was saying sweet things to his dy.
When her pa hove in sight
The young fellow took flight
And deemed his escape to be ly.
X X X X
There was a young fellow named sgd,
Who kissed a girl on the eye-lid;
Said she to the lad,
Your aims very bad;
You should practice bit" So he dyd
= X K
! There was a young girl in the choir,
Whose voice rose hoir and hoir,
1t was clear out of sight,
And they found it next day in the
spoir.
IA new servant maid named Marian
Had trouble in lighting the fire.
The wood it was green,
So she used gasoline,
And she's gone where the fuel is dryer
X x X X
When
by Walter G Doty)
When young men follow old mems
advice,
When all girls dress in a sensible way.
When every play is worth the price
And books are all their publishers say
When goodness counts for more than