davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-01-08
Why Mon Got Bald

Prom Q, practical Dsene q Nv
OSd b fhf bsetss "a VIM . eoat
@ svsn oowshfn - Asgsktn % su1
hsaAA Or ~ havs1V . eraos q I'M
1~nn. - Dsao0A which b tie rsaa
oscrse q bSeA warmth and wa40.
FosfnsA j.
IN shsrt sw hsar thsush q ssms
G1aght vaiue - . preteotiou and oom-
Aurt - n for vsry httls sDospt g.
namsnt and decoration. 30 that Il
4 no uss Just giving n ar and sun
hsht and kseptns n fairiy clean ana
Shsn expscting n b CONS cut thiok.
bushy and siosy again - IN he
animsiA - must b troateA - n
srnassnA fused svcr and wsrieeA
svsr, brushed. oombed. slanpooed.
brsided and fluffeA n lsns snsuSh
o. II WIN nst stay healthy. n wm -
Alscsaragsd and gun. u has always
bssn raised . pet' and \ stall needs
psttins - mako Il thrive,
That y enc reason why cfvi1f,sa
vvmsn and male avases kssp their
hair whfis ctvilissd men neglect
shsirs and lose n
Among savAges ths nsn mako .
brsaa pstnt q thsfr hair. oesnbins.
lraidins. sfiins. frixzins II and stick.
81" Il FUN e. fsathsrs and. orna-
thsnsa, with de most sstonishins re-
OultA 40. DO -.
slS r. css I'D ~ Issaads sor IN
eihS& ne nsa sftsn hev. az ,nn~
kssds u I'm :, than shs. voRsp. Of
-thstf tfbA
ntyeu want beauty you've Just
sst to work for II. that's all. We
sivfiised men have despissd beauty
snd got badness. while women,
yissr than W. have psttsd ana Diay-
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-01-08
-sssr (Enytnent Physician Whose SensibLe Dis
courses Health, Hygiene and Disease
HaUe Been FoIIo.Oed With General INTEREST,"
The Comb Is the Curse of the Scalp and the Best Cure
for Badness is the Bristles of the PIG Eternal Brush
ing Is the Price of Parasites or Germs Gut Little
Figure" Hair Tonnes Never Grow Anything But a
Crop of Money In the Inventors Pocket.

may be danger signal Of priceless
value, blessing In disguise.
But nine times out of ten your
mouiting plumes are falling simply
because they are not properly ap-
preciated and made to feel at home.
Having nothing to do but look
pretty. they can't take an exercise
for themselves. 30 you got to give
1t to them. like Pekingese pup.
The only way to give them exer-
else Is either with fingernails or with
bristles--and fingernails are barred
by the code Of etiquette. But for
tunately finger tips are not. and q
thorough massage Of the scalp with
them three or four times q week Is
positively life saving for tho hair.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-01-08
Comb Is Curse Of Scalp.

Ths comb n tho curse OF the
sealp,. and the best cure for the
badness Of man Is tho bristles OF
the pig. A real homeopathic remedy
Brush and again brush and always
bsushi Brush when you're young
and You won't be bald when you're
ola. barring . ono In forty chance
NJ hercdity. And ut the worst, TO
usrsphrase Scripture, . we'll
brushed head il . crown OF glory
even though there be ivory among
the gold"
the only badness that Ii at IN
unattractivs II the fuzzy. worm
eaten widowed typo
The burning question why does
sur hair fall outf" can only be an
swered Yankee fashion by another
~why does It fan inf"
To this our natural instructive
snswer would be: why keep
our heads warm and protect them
from the weatherf" $685..
But. we, should be wrong and TOR
two reasons. First, for the plain
and practical one. that It doesn't
and never did properly. a. the
furry and hairy coats OF animals
protect them From almost the
earliest stages Of savasery. ~
soon as men began to make any
thing, they hastened to make
themselves fur hoods In the Arctic,
caps and bonnets Of feathers and
felt In temperate regions and hats
of grass and straw In the tropics.
Their natural thatch wasn't
enough. sr.' - ID '.'
Second, which explains the ffrst,
Il isn't built for any such purpose.
The thickest, glossiest. finest head
Of human hair viii not turn rain or
keep In heat one tenth ~ we'll a.
the poorest sheepsltn or wolf.hids.
IT'S pretty to look at. but for either
warmth o. wsterproofnoss, Il II
the BIGGEST falss-aiarm IN the
animal I, ktnsdom- A dssr. q .
.nsrine sheep oan stand out IN .
thrss-day rain ana never set .
lrop Of water On N sktn, whine
seals and othsrs have lifelong
Waterproof and celdproofA
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-01-08

\" HERES only . hairs breath
between happiness ana woe.
" that hair happens to b Tor
sNther waD on tho crown Of your
head. No hair h - tenderly cherish
I'd and warmly priced ~ the hair
that isn't there.
4 TO have our apex FURNISHED in
stead Of plumed. our highest furry
hattiements robbed Of It's flag Is
gsn and NORWOOD to our pride.
The hairs Of our, head are all num-
,bered, bat what worries us II that no
hack numbers are TO b had for love
o. money.
Two things must IN conscience DO
ct down bluntly and frankly at the
beginnins. First. the only cure for
real shiny badness 10 decapitaton'
mt second, the only real harm done
~ Il 10 to our vanity.
The answer 10 grin and bear It"
ana try 70 b proud Of Ito ivory
polish.
But for the vast majority who
rhsvs not acquired polish. even II
shsy have one or two downy spots.
n they win grant to their scalps
thsar insiienable rights to breath.
baths and bristles the chances are
i've to one Of escaping this calamity.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-01-08
Care of Babies
Now Taught I'm
Chicago Schools

CHICAGO, Jan. 7.-oiris Of tho
Chicago High Schools are b b
taught how to take care Of babies.
They VIM have real. squirmins.
cooling youngsters to practice upon
instead Of learning baby culture out
Of dry, unanimated books.
The k3ddies win b isft a ths
school each morning b. meehsss
who work. The courps WIN start
tomorrow.
In carrying On ne nursery
work." said Miss Mona h Good
man. head teacher. today, we wfll
continue the regular educational
features. Besides instruction IN
bathing, dressing and feeding the
babies, the girls win DO taught the
fundamentals Of lrindergarten work.
I'VE are not trying to make
nurSemaids Of the girls. but w fsss
that knowledge In scientific care Of
babies VIII 20 far toward making
thsm motherS helpers.
This training viii enable ITEM
70 give scientific care to their own
little brothers and sisters and many
parents viii learn much from them
Our girls are all enthusiasrsc ever
the work."
The course win be started first m
one school and extended to others
- classes are formed. Two hun
dred and nifty girls have already
signed up for the GLASS.
Tho work will bs under the dfreo-
ton Of DR.. Mildred Youh.. head Of
the homecraft department..
livery baby viii have . crfb ana
win DO siven . thorough physical
examination" she said today. "Tnfs
course will not only help girls who
prefer homo work to office duties.
but II will be = benefit to future
generations and give the oommun-
ity hsalthisr ohiidrsa.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-01-08
Bv STEPHEN LEACOCK---
Canadian Hun,orist Who Clues a Quaint
Forecast Of Life in Britain Under King Pusyf0oC
Failure Se1Euay In Class Room Leads Noted Economist to Sug-
ged Course Of Studies That Would In His Estimation, Materially Add
to the Usefulness of the Woman Who MarIeS

not efve her an education that will
have . meaning and . harmony
with shs real life that she - going
70 follow.
For example,. suppose thst dur
ING her four years every gfri lucky
enough to get . higher education
spent at least six months Of IL In
the training and discipline of . hos
pital - . nurse.
When later ON In hsr home there
II . sudden illness o. accident and
the life or death Of those nearest to
her hangs upon slriT and knowledge
and . trained fortituds In smer-
sency, she win not need b send in
haste for . hired woman to I'M the
place that she herself has never
learned - occupy.
I am not here trying 70 elaborate
Q whole curriculum. Fam only try
fng 10 indicate that higher educa-
tan for the man - one thing: for
the woman another.
Nor do dsny the fact that
women have got to earn their nv-
ms. Their hisher sducat3sn must
enable them 70 do that But that
10 no great matter. No suhsms -
education that any oos 10 hksiy -
devise win fail In that rsspec4 TIA
positions that they ho,d - tsanhsss
or writArs or OWL servants thsy
would al an the better II their -
ucation was more harnsuasus -
thedr wants.
Some few, . small mtnss1ty. rsalfy
and truly have . ''careee'-husband-
less and chiIdless-in which tho $40
rtfice 10 great and the honors to
them. perhaps. all the higher. And
others no doubt dream at least Of
career in which q husband and .
group Of blossoming children are
carried as an appendage to busy
life at the bar or on the hastings.
But all such are the mere minority.
so small az to make no difference to
the general argument.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-01-08

PARIS, Jan. ].
wv HEN this appears In print
w I shan have arrived In Amer
lea suppose. and now.
writing few hours before I SAN. I
am reviewing my impressions the
short visits to England and France
have left with me.
Tho spirit IN both countries b
quite changed from that Of year
ago. Here In France II appears
tired. There IL no buoyancy. The
restaurants have lost their gaiety.
People look somber. Society u alb
sent. II would seem. and quantities
Of what we used TO call ''neutrais"
during the war are about in the
streets.
The shops have ooiored garments
In the windows. but no one seems to
wear them. Every creature Of
every class II in black or some dark
unnoticeable tint
England struck me ~ somber.
too, but not tired More a. though
It were resigned. and Just patiently
waiting for better times. not actu-
ally numb. Il struck me that q
reaction must have set In from the
wildness Of the first peace year.
There were no exciting stories 30
ing about. people ssemed WY nor
mai. and a II they had acquired
q fresh sense Of duty.
REACTION OF SOCIETY.
Pleasure. a. IN end, was not 1t
all the order Of the day.
To kill time. to invent some now
amusement, - % very much the
note In America among tho young.
rich people that this new spirit Of
responsibility seemed striking In
England. I should think Tor the
first time In the country's history
q much larger percentage Of the
population have begun TO think.
I was never % impressed with the
British doggedness and common
sense before.
But one thing disturbed mel
shall never again be able to draw the
sort Of hero I used to make In my
books because he no longer would
represent national type. The aspect
Of the young men IL . good deal
changed They Do not seem b b
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-01-08
By ELINOR LYN---
(NoUeIist and Noted Critic Human Emotons)
ITO XIII Tme to Invent Some New Amusement is So Very Much the
Note Of Young Americans That the Contrast to Spirit Of Response
biliy In EngliShmen Is Striking"

nearly - tan and good looking .snl
sxquisitely dressed ~ they were.
That instructive knowledge that they
seemed to have for just the right
thing for all moments-that a.
taking them On bloc. And not nearly
% many OF them look wen bred
Tho war. Of course, - responsible
Tor this. Most Of the type used to
write about. alas. sleep peacefully
ION Flanders fields" and the new
generation Of the same class are not
old enough yet to be seen about.
An American friend of mine, who
came over in tho boat with mo ana
has spent q month in London, came
to me much disappointed-I had
been boasting Of the perfect clothes
Of Englishmen and their sense of
tenue-how they always dressed for
dinner and looked 30 wonderfully
soisnes. He said whatever restau.
rants he had yet been to he saw
some men dressed anyhow-by no
means all immaculate-and.i indeed.
the majority were not 20 well turned
out a. Americans Of the better
CLASSES. Where were the wonderful
Engiishmen he had always heard
about to be foundf
I could not think Of any pubic
place to say except Caridse'a.
30 he went there, and Afterwards
he said he had seen some. but that
they were much older than he ex-
pectsd. and the old ones looked much
smarter and better dressed than the
young ones!
SIMMER ENGLISHMEN.
What In noticeable In England sti1l
IN the much slimmer figures Of the
men. and the lean athletic hssom-
ness which distinguishes them from
any other nation. In this article
am only talking Of the aspects In
public places. and the impression
any stranger without the entres
into private houses might observe.
In private houses among ones
friends one sim sees the very best,
but before the war any visitor TO
our shores who could waIk down
Piccadilly and Bond streets and pay
for his dinner In half . dozen Of the
best restaurants could have seen
for himself that the Engfishmsa
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-01-08

cd with and worked at their hair,
fluffing It. washing It. brushing 1t
without end. curling. braidins. sham.
pooling. wearing. only the lightest
and most porous Of hats or wells so
that 1t always gets. air and sunlight
Nearly everything they have done
to It has been to the good. except
alterations Of the color scheme. too
heavy switches and too hot curling
irons.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-01-08

a men, There ars. of coWss. sxcep-
tiouA But they prove nothing.
n u no use to auoes 10 me ths
case Of some brilliant gir1 VINO stood
nrst in physics At Oxford That's
nothing. There II An elephant In
the ZOO that can count mp b tent
yet I refuse to reckon myself his
inferior. Tabulated results spread
over years. and the actual e1Deri-
snce Of those who teach. show In
the whole domain Of mathematics
and physics women are outciassed.
WOMEN ARE SILENT.
To my mind. girls do Infinitely
better apart from mon. They are
frssr. less restrained. They dis
ouss things openly IN their classess
they LII MP their voices and they
speak. whereas . girl m auch .
place - McGm. with men al about
her. sfts for four years - silsnt
- . frog full Of shot.
But there IL . deeper trouhls
SIM Tho careers Of the men and
women who 70 to college together
are necessarily different and the
preparation In an aimed It the mems
career. Tho men are going to b
lawyers. DOCTORS. engineers, business
men and politcianA And me
women are noG There - No uss
prstsndins about n
n may sound IN awfm TING -
~. but the women arc going 10 b
married That u. and always has
besn their career and. what II moro.
they know It; and even at college,
while they are studying algebra and
political economy. they have their
eye on It sideways all the time.
Tho plain fact is that after . girl
has spent four years Of her time
and . great deal Of her parentS
money In eQuipping herself for .
career that she Is never going to
have, the wretched creature goes
and gets married
A. MERE MINORITY.
At this point someone WIN shrek;
But surely. even for marriage. isn't
It right that the girls should have
q college education7" To which I
hasten to answer. Most assuredly."
I freely admit that q girl who
knows Euclid and algebra, or once
knew them, is a far more charming
companion and a nobler wife and
more than a girl who doesn't know
x from Y. But the point Is this:
Does the higher education that fits
q man to be a lawyer also fit q per-
son to be q wife and mother; or.
in other words. Is q lawyer a wife
and mother7 say he Is not.
Granted that girl Is to spend
four years In time and n thousand
pounds In money IN going to ool-
lege, why train her for q career that
she - never going to adoptf Why
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-01-08

were the best locking nsa in a.
world. also the bsst dressed Nov
do not feel 90 oock-surs about ~
In America the people In ~
streets often look too sslf-induissuA
~ n they ate too much. They -
often too fAt and msaty. but VIZ
seldom diseassd-loolring. In me-
land and France there are % many
VINO look underfed and under
warmed. with bad teeth, ana . ssn-
eral air Of unfitnesa
In France the men ossm % -
growing taller. and not % @pst1f
naitre." Their CROWNS interest in
games, suppose. produces thia-
The French woman wa. 4. anl
I believe always WIN b. the most
chic and attractive creature b n
world.
Purely feminine. ssrenely sure q
herself and her undisputsd empare
over the desires and interests Of tie
male. Undisturbed By longing Cor
further reimbursement Unoomplsx
In her aims. Sharing equally Win
her man the expression II the dra.
matic instinct In the homo ciroAA
not having to indulge in II purely
- . female failing. a. in Nngiand
Converts certainly have thsir
SIGNS FOR REJOICING.
The general impression Of bo<A
England and France 10 not discous
aging. Even though for the nomsn4
the air Of Paris Ii fatisued, the very
fact Of the meh becoming taller and
the whole nation growing to b moro
interested In games shows that
they are advancing. The signs to
rejoice over are far more numeroao
than those to deplore.
While England 1-tust es>s.
splendid England! Determined
qu1st, bearing NO grudgs againk
snsmiea. going her Indifferent W..
good temp~rcd. good natured. sesr
sfble. innateiy conservative IN spirit
even when black-radical In wordy
expressioni Often stupid. never
silly. Courageous, honorable. true.
And the les often visit her, and
the moro I see Of other countries.
the proudsr I feei that I can write
"Br1tish" On my passport
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-01-08

TT requfrss IN thsss aays NJ Iitf1s
hardfhood to utter . stns1s wsrd
IN criticism u De higher sducs-
ton Of women. II - tf1rs throwing
half . brick through the giass roof
Of . conservatory. n b bound to
make trouble
Lot me hasten, therefore. b say.
at the very outset. that I bsiisvs
most heartily IN the higher sduca-
ton Of women; IN faSt, the higher
the better.
The only question, 30 my mind. u
what b high education- and how
do you est Il
Lst me ny also sf the outset hat
when I speak Of ooeducatiou I spsak
Of what I know. I was oo-educatsd
myself some thfrty-1vs years aso,
ut Shs very beginning Of the Ting.
Iiearnsd my Greek sionssids Il .
bevy Of beauty On tho opposite
benches that mashed up the irregu-
lar verbs for VI very badly. Inci-
dentaIiy. those gfris sre al married
long since. and IN the Creek they
know now you oouid pot under .
thfmbas-but Of that presently. I
hsss had further s1psrisoos - wsn-
spsnt three ycars tn ths graduate
school Of the Un4versdty Il Chtoase.
WHARF oo-educattonai gir1s wsrs -
thick % autumn ieavss-and some
Thicker. And - . oellegs professor
It Noon Univsrs1ty. b Montreal
have taught mingled OaaaDss of man
and women for twenty yeazA On
the basis Of which experience ny
with assurance that the thing - .
mistake and has nothing TO recon-
mend II but its relative cheapness:
DIFFERENT. THAT'S ALL.
Tho fundamental trouble u that
men and women arc Different crea-
lures, with different minds. and
different aptttudss. and Different
paths in life. There - no need to
raise nef0 Inc 0uoOSVh ~ ~AsS4A -
superior and which IN inferior
Though, I think, the Lord help me.
that I know the answer to that, tool.
The point lies In the fact that they
are different. But the mad pas
sion for equality has masked this
obvious fact. When women BE-
gan to demand. quite rightly. .
share In higher education they took
for granted that they wanted the
same curriculum a. the men. They
never stopped to ask whether. per-
haps, their aptitudes were not In
various directions higher and bet
ter than those of mon, and whether
It might not 30 better for their sex
to cultivate the things which were
best suited to their minds.
Lot me be more explicit. In all
that goes with physical and mathe-
NAUTICAL science women, On the
average. are far below the standard
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-01-08

Number Six, carrying one Day
Coach and q Combination Baggage
and Stock Car. would pause long
enough to unload q Bucket Of
Oysters ana take on q Crate Of
Eggs.
In this Settlement the leading
Citizens still wear Gum Arctics with
largo Buckles. and Parched Corn
IN served at Social Functions.
Two highly respected Money-Get-
ters Of pure American Stock held
forth In this lonesome Krah and
did Q General Merchandising.
One w1s called Milt, IN honor Of
the Blind Post. and the other
claimed the following brief Monicls-
or. b wit: Henry.
These two Pillars Of Society had
marched at the head Of the Women
and School Children during the Dry
Movement which banished King
Alcohol from their Fair Land.
Partially as . result Of their En-
forts In enforcing the volstsad Act.
Liquor was not to Be obtained IN
their Town except At the Drug
Stores and one or two Restaurants
or in the Cellar underlying any
well-conducted Home.
For Eleven Months and Three
Weeks out Of every Calendar Year
these two played Right and Lsft in
the Stubborn Battle to Upiift the
Community ana better the Moral
Tone.
They walked the Straight and
Narrow. wearing Binders. Check
reins. Hobbies and Interference
Pads.
Very often . Mother would hurry
her little Brood to the Front Win
dows when Nit or Henry passed
b.. Carrying under his arm .
PAckass Of Corn Flakes and ths
Report Of he General Secretary
IN charge Of Chinese Missionary
Work.
'Tookr' she would say, indicating
Local Paragon with inde1 Finger. IF
you always wash behind the Ears
and learn your Cateohiam. you may
grow up to b Hike Him."
But-svery Autumn. about me time
the Hrost u On ne Stock Market
and Wan 0trest 10 In the Shook,
MT and Henry would DO . sleyfark
Asosnsion from ths Home Nest and
Wing away toward the Rising Sun.
They called II Fan buying because
both Of them Bought and both Of
thsm Fell
A Home neither Of them would
Kick IN for any Pastime moro
worldly than q twenty-five cent M.
p. Show depicting . large number Of
Insane People falling over preo-
ipioss- .~.
The Blow-off came on The Trip
to the city. That was the Big Enter
tainment.
Every Nickel shst could BE- held
out went into the little Tin Bank,
for they knew that when they got
together 500 Of these Washers. .
man up In New York would let them
have some Fire Water Of Doubtful
Lineage. with q weak looking label
pasted over the cork as an Evidence
of Good Faith.
On Winter Evenings Mnt would
don the Velvet Slippers and grfll
his Lower Extremitiss on the ornate
Portioo such a. surrounds every
high-prioed Base Burner.
While thus cr1sping himself he
loved to read News Notes from
Gotham
He believed what II said In the
Paper about . well-known Heiress
having the Teeth of hor favorite
Pomeranian filled with Radium at
. COST Of $4,000.
Whenever he got this kind Of .
Private Peek ints the Gay Late ef the