davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The New York herald., 1922-01-15

on the fiat cars while the razorbacks at the
railway sidings take a new hitch on their
jeans and fresh chew of the biggest piece
In town for five cents
The elephant act has to be furbished M
anew every year. All through the season the
trainer of the bulls" has been doping on,
new stunts for his babies" for next season
and he is hardly in quarters before the ele-
plants are out in the practice rings and
working on next seasons acts. When an
elephant gets home from seasons tour
there is no parading of Broadway and COS
siping on the corner with brother players
The elephants life as q performer Is con
tinuous. II Is possible to teach an old ele-
phant new tricks and il is always being done.
The pachyderm is the most persistent
changer OF bills Of the whole outfit. He Is
the repertoire actor Of the sawdust
or course the ponies. the dogs. the cats
the parrots and the other small dumb acts
all expect to work I'm the winter. They do
not know the charm of going back TO the
arks. Vaudeville and the hall shows are
waiting for them and the two day still
Keeps up and the feed is nIst the same.
Mr. Noah of Bridgeport has an animal
population these days even greater than
when MIR. Barnum and Mr. Bailey were at
the top centre pole OF their showmen ca
reers. For another city that gloriied for
years In the presence of FIVE Mr.. Noah's and
their attendant animal Kingdoms has sud
denly been consolidated into one aggrega-
ton The Baraboo of the Ringlings Is no
more and probably for transportation rea-
sons IL has beeh consolidated with the Con-
necticut community.
1t was great day for Bridgeport when
Baraboo ceased to be the sawdust capital OF
the Great Northwest and the tents of tn,
mighty B and we're sewed into the can
vases of the Ringlings, when the red and
gold OF the old opposition melted into the
pink tightings and the spangled satlns OF
the new five brothers from Baraboo and
the days of fighting for the hayseed dates
and playing checkers for the big territory
we're over.
The New York herald., 1922-01-15

shut up! Scat! You darn fool, she's
jumping to your kitchen she'd"
Well, to make long story shorter, Chief
Mickelman and the boys of Chemical No.
l had the toughest job in the pyrotechnical
history of this Borough Of Burrsville City
trying to subdue the conflagration.
Everybody later agreed over their sand
wiches in Tony & Johns Night Owl Lunch
Wagon that the blaze in the Quinn garage
was the worst blaze herea bouts since the
great three-whistle-alarm fire last Third of
July night on the Dusenbury estate on
County Line road that burned to a crisp
house, barn and thirty-six setting hens
and their young.
But except for two rounds of sandwiches
in Tony & Johns Night Owl Lunch Wagon
in Public Square for all and sundry in the
Fire company Hon. Quinn stated in Ferd
Schroeder's Waldorf Parlors while getting
shaved this noon that thousand dollar
insurance, backed by the gold standard,
kept him from losing nothing except about
$1,000 worth Of Ford energy dollars
the Bell Syndicate
The New York herald., 1922-01-15
Spider Silk Woven by Clever Machine

is said, Cachot found to his great delight
that the spider did not pull with sufficient
force to break the thread, but actually
seemed to enjoy the process, maintaining
just enough tension to keep the web in
continual motion. Many spiders were tried
in this way, and at last sufficient quantity
of their product was obtained to be woven
into a fabric. This. it is alleged, was
superior 10 natural silk in tenuity, elasticity
and tenacity.
But dresses of spider web are still oeyono
the reach of any save the very rich. A
species of Madagascar spider is the only one
that supplies the right sort of thread. Size
for size. this spiders thread is tougher than
bar iron.
The Frenchman who conducted these in
teresting experiments stated that another
advantage Of the spider as a producer or
silk is that, having been emptied of its web.
it can be fed and petted back to condition,
when it will submit to another reeling with
out showing Ill effects.
The New York herald., 1922-01-15
Mr. Noah of Bridgeport the Towns Best Advertisement

walk TO embarrass him at meal time. In
fact, the jungle bred animals while they
have little to do but to be gazed at during
the summer, have less to do in winter. But
they do not grow as fat and dopey as one
would think. Feeding is regulated. and IL
they loaf and lounge about the cages when
they should be taking exercise they get
reminder from the iron prod of the man who
sits by the wagon.
The menagerie of the circus has from
time forgotten been the educationa feature
of the arenic show, the antiquated excuse of
the parent for taking the children to see
the exhibition so that they may learn
their natural history while he is studying
anatomy in pink tights or red plush and
spangles.
The Gagged animals that is, "dens of un-
tanned beasts" do not have to work with the
big show. or course there are performing
animals that is, tanned beasts, but they be-
long in another class. In fact, there is little
in common socially between the lion and
tiger the wolf and the jackal. that remain
in the quiet for exhibition purposes only,
and the other animals Of the same type who
so far lower their dignity as to sit on red
painted stools. jump through hoops and
are otherwise dominated by mere man with
q crackerless whip and blank loaded twen-
ty-two. The Gagged lion and the barred Ben
gal may be embazoned on the gaudy wagons
as man-eaters but they are not Just per-
formers They are still unconquered
There is peculiar thing about life with
animals In winter quarters. A certain do
cillty seems to creep over them during the
off season Ofttimes they grow suspiciously
friendly until some keeper Is made to realizo
that the beast Is still there by having his
hand torn off or q clawed ornamentation put
into the f1eshy part of his back. But this is
rare. II Is a matter of fact that when ono
OF the animal keepers Of the winter quar-
ters of the circus is manned IL is the work
of some gentle eyed and pink Tipped thing
like doe fancy spotted deer For some
reason, known only to themselves, the
The New York herald., 1922-01-15

ROM time to time the ingenuity of
scientists has been exercised with a
view to devising a substitute for the
silk worms product, to fndN another insect
that will produce something very similar at
a lower cost.
1t is an old idea that the spider might be
employed i'm this way. The problem has ever
been how to obtain a sufficient quantity of
the spider thread and how to find 1t with
out breaking or tangling.
A Frenchman named Cachot harnessed a
spider to a machine of his own invention
The machine contained tiny bobbins that
revolved constantly. The thread was wound
as the spider spun it, not after 1t had been
made. The end of the web, which was at
tached to the body of the spider. was caught
and fastened firmly to bobbin. Then the
machine was gently put in motion. The
spider finding that his web reeled awayAap
parenty of its own volition, naturally pulled
in the opposite direction to get away. But II
The New York herald., 1922-01-15

of the winter season, had learned to write
shorthand, the press agent or perhaps Mr..
Noah himself having caught the Siman
prodigy tracing strange and pitmanesque
cryptcs on the frosted window glass of the
yellow arks. Or again it may have been
but the premature pnlsings Of the winter
press agent who. refusing to stihe imagina-
ton, was growing industrious and eager to
reap the agate paragraphings of the metro
poltan press.
II must mean something to a municipality
to have Mr.. Noah in its midst. When the
summer is over and the flood of humanity
has ceased to flow under the marqulse into
the big tent is the time to send out the
doves of advance agents TO get ready the
arks, for the animals are coming home. And
while these doves would not return to where
the band had been playing and the clowns
tumb!ing bearing an olive branch of prom
Use, yet they would bear 20 the city of the
yellow arks large and renewed orders of
provender and provisions. and mean that
many men were coming home to spend
savings during a long winter while they
watched the animals Of Mr. Noah I'm the
amplifed arks on the Ararats Of the fringe
of the city Pbineas never forgot his own
people.
The elephant pow is no longer seen on
the HILL but the winter quarters are still
thSiS' anu IL uOl bttH ioiE SihCc tntS
opened up for the closed season OF the cir
Gus. It is great day for the winter quar-
ters town when tho show comes home In
eight months II has been annexing itself to
the boundaries and the population of every
town. but no welcome has exceeded that of
the moment when the animal section comes
in, the cages are run down the skids and
the red and golden wagons start for the
barns.
The circus animal tires Of the irritating
itinerary just as the individual does, and 1t
means something like Jungle comfort for
lion to know that he can settle down for
few months and have his roast beef with
out the whole township roosting on the side
The New York herald., 1922-01-15
Ford'S Energy Dollars
And What They Signify

Ergo, says my friend Ford again, let
you, good people. print paper dollars, each
buck backed by one unit of one horse
power of energy
"And now friends. where, let us see,
does this bring us?
Each Of you here this night, wen say,
owns one OF Henry's tin Lizzies. Very
"o!!! OF a cold morning you go out to
your garage and unroll wide the sliding
door. And there before you stands glsten-
ing eXcept maybe for the need Of dang
good wash since the last rain. thirty horse
pcwer--to give the Lizzie the best of a
good measure. Or there. so Henry would
have you put It. stands the equivalent of
thirty paper dollars each buck backed by
rower that will last as long as the Tennes-
see River flows over Muscle Shoals.
Friends, do you follow me so far?
Do"
Senator, we're ahead Of you!" shouted
encouragiugly Port Light Santee. our pop.
ular town souse.
Good! Then concentrate in silence fur
The New York herald., 1922-01-15

Everybody remaining in Fire House here
dashed out into the night and jumped into
their Ford and raced north in N. Main.
"My friends" .hollered Councilman Quinn
upon jumping out of his Ford and dashing
up his back stoop steps and addressing all
and sundry pulling hose over his rhodo-
dendrons and all shouting like every
thing, "let you ALL nv friends
Fresh Strawberries" hollered some old
the boys above the cracking blaze.
"Shut up, Quinn!" now shouted Fire
Chief Mickelman. When the alarm sounds
7 am Chief of this Fire Department and
everybody must do as +"
II protest Mickelman, against this un-
seemly---"
Protest, my eye, Quinn!" shouted Chief
Mickelman. 1--WE need more soda for
Chemical. Here! Take this leather bucket
Quinn, and chase yourself down to Pop
pouloloppilus's Brothers in Public Square
and have Mike Poppouloloppilus fill 'er to
the brim."
"But-!"
The New York herald., 1922-01-15
THE SINGING DooRBoY.

T~HERE is doorboy in a downtown
vaudeville theater who has the right
= idea. He is always singing-and
invariably. we have found. his songs are
snatches from the show His theory doubt
less, is that every department of the theater
should contribute to the entertainment of
the audience.
He has hit upon great idea The fnicky
patron who wants to make sure that he is
gong to like the show before he pays to
see 1t can walk as far the door, listen
to the singing doorboy and, If he doesn't
like the sample walk out without buying
ticket.\ But this will seldom happen, For
the doorboy, devoid Of voice as he is sings
with spirit and whets the appetite of the
theatergoer for more of the same inside.
If the troubadoorboy-(min if we call
him thatD-had his way the ticket seller
and the ushers would sing, too. Not snatches
from the show perhaps, but they would sing
anyhow. The ticket seller as you reached
the box office, would chant something like
this
Orchestra or balconee?
BOX or loge or galeree?
Every seat within good range
Thank you, mister! Here's your change
And your usher blithely dancing down
the aisle. would warble the equivalent of
this:
Right this way, sir, take my hand
And I'll show you fairyland.
Program? Sure! I'll go and get IL
Oh, no tips! I icOnt be pettedl
GENERAL.
And the brunette said, let it be light; and
il was light.
Hairpins to be fashionable these days
should be made of bobbed wire.
MAN ARRESTED IN COAL YARD
Headline.
For picking the coal pocket?
BOOTLEGGER ARRESTED ON HOMI-
eide CHARGE-News item.
For serving it in homiseidels, doubtless
Our car needs an operation and we are
looking around for good fivisectionist
A repentant parallel from 1.-The Selected
Letters of Friedrich Nietzsche" (edited by
Oscar Levy
IL am ashamed to confess I got
Il prefer a roast to n stew"
FRANCE READY TO EASE LOAD ON
GERMAN-Tribune headline
Bitter anti-Germans will find comfort I'm
the thought that ease" i'm the collouuial
sense means drop" or "toss"
The New York herald., 1922-01-15
THAT MUsTY MAGAZINE.

r Asst week we told of a little East Side
barber shop where we found yellow
ing on battered magazine stand
1910 copy of a humorous weekly. We re-
visited the shop the other day to see If
the magazine was still there. OF course it
was.
In appearance it is practically the same
Another joke has been clipped. a few more
fingers have left their imprint the pages
have perhaps taken on--(or doesn't q wees
make any difference?)--a slightly deeper
yellow, but it is, taking it by and large the
same tattered relic Of vanished decade
that we described last week
The liquor advertisements that fill the
hack OF the periodicai-or should we say,
beeriodical?-strike one more forcibly than
ever as gloomy antiquities; and the rust
marks left by the wire binders--the honored
rust, as one might say-provoke mourn
full rust thou art. to rust returnest" from
this usually light hearted wandering min
strel.
How long will the decaying magazine last?
The New York herald., 1922-01-15

lers like to use them and the result is very
often like running into a hat rack in n dark
hall.
The eight hundred so horses. the "bag-
gage stock"-that is the horses that do
the drawing of the big wagons--do come
home a little uncertain of what the winter
months will bring forth. 1t isn't quite rea-
sonabe to think that any astute business
men are going to eat up the summer profits
by filing the feed bags OF eight hundred
horses at least twice n day without getting
some return
The circus horse knows this just as the
great white horse upon which the little
lady pirouettes in the hoop-la OF Ring 9
knows that some day his knees are going to
get stiff and ridges come I'm his billiard
tabled back and he is going to wind up haul
ing coal cart or baggage wagon meeting
ali trains.
number of the local business men are
willing to rent circus draft horses for the
winter months either for the ice wagons or
the drays. or course the automobile has
done away with much OF this. but the idle
circus horse can be kept busy TO degree II
the owner so decides. So many of them are
let out that what might have been n winter
of equine contemplation, mixed with the
oats of idleness, becomes q drudge of draw
ing the town furniture wagon and the hu-
initiation Of feeling that there are no plumes
and silvered harness and no wagon red and
elorious1y COLDER
The New York herald., 1922-01-15
Rarnblin' Round
BY EDWARD ANTHONY.

w THY do librettists wander afeld for
\A comic opera locales? In the course
of our Manhattan rambles we have
found many a suitable background for
lively operetta. Take, for instance, Forty
second street and Fifth avenue. There is
more color there in Ave minutes than in
ell of the zecho-Arabias South Sea Islands,
North Sea Islands, Abyssinian mountain
sides and tinseled Rivieras that constitute
the librettsts paradise
Yes, Forty-second street and Fifth ave-
rue is full of possibilities. For back
ground there is the imposing Library build
ing; for a foreground the traffic tower and
the transit whirl With the lifting of the
curtain there could be an opening chorus
Of pedestrians who want to cross the street.
Oh, let us cross, our feet are clean
AS any one can see.
You really shouldn't intervene
We're busy as can be!
We will not ruin the street, old tops,
But should it happen, then
Wen get some gutter percha, cops,
And fix it up again!
Curb brokers may find standing here
Upon the curb delightful,
But we have deals to engineer
And this delay is frightful
Then of course. the policemen. dancing
gayly to airy music. would chorus their
reply:
Nothing is further from our aim
Than to detain you. friends,
But If you're hit we'll be to blame
And who will make amends?
We love you far too well to see
You hit by taxicabs.
So wait moment patientlee
And do not call us crabs
We've got to be admonitive
In this betrafficked section
Our only object is to give
Our fellow man protection,
Yes, there are many possibilities. What
a glorious opportunity. for instance, for
solo by silvery tenor in the traffic tower,
Picture itzmoonlight on the tower, the
lonely custodian gazing fondly at the pic
ture Of the girl he loves as he works the
green and red traffic signals that cast spec
trail shadows on the pavement below and
his beautifully sad voice, quivering with the
pangs Of unrequited love. telling all the
world
Stop! go! stop go I'm getting tired
OF working signals all the day
] wouldn't care If got fired,
For what is life without my May?
Oh, goodness gracious. How / miss her
Since that appalling hour when she
Cried "Stop!' when I essayed to kiss her
And Co" when I said. Marry mel"
These are only few of many things that
could be done. Some day we'll write the
whole libretto and submit it to you. The
only additional detail that we wish to add
now is the title, "The Traffic Coperetta."
The New York herald., 1922-01-15

Another year? Another five years? And
what are its emotions? Does 1t ever cry
out, as Byron did on his thirty sixth birth
day, "My days are in the yellow leaf? Will
It have a thirty-sixth birthday? We hope
So And a fiftieth, too. 1t is ambition
on the day of the 1ftieth anniversary to
Eobble into the little barber shop and, after
having our snow white tresses trimmed,
place wreath of yellow chrysanthemums
brothers in color to the yellowing maga-
zine-on the ragged title page, with note
bearing Daniel Websfer's inspiriting words
"The past, at least, is secure"
The New York herald., 1922-01-15
By WELLS HAWKS.
oNG ago when it was really a

ONG ago when it was really Journey
up Boston way, when the coaches
ratified and the engine clanked like
a steam donkey on rusty tramp travellers
would stick their heads out of the window
and children press their faces close to the
smoky glass panes as the slow local or not
much faster express pulled its way through
Bridgeport Though it was winter there
was generally an unusual sight, a bit spring
like in appearance, to be seen on the barren
meadows near the great yellow barns which
bore in red letters a mystic name
Sometimes it was a solemn procession of
elephants that adorned the granite hills. or
frozen meadows. trudging along in the chill
air. their tiny eyes seeming to vision what
1t might be near India's coral strand. Now
and then two giraffes were seen strollng
on the turf, their frail and spotted bodies
being swathed in reddish blankets on which
was also letter red the mystic name Once
in a while a pair of zebras criss-crossed the
horizon with their stripes but they were
more seldom seen.
These Unfamiliar Sights
Advertised the big Show"
A man in the blue jeans of the corn field
walking behind an ordinary plow was ac-
centuated into a new greatness because an
elephant was hltched III front of 1t. Such
were some of the sights i'm the front yard
OF Mr.. Noah OF Bridgeport. Mr.. Barnum's
press agency knew no seasons. The show
was i'm winter quarters and the animals back
OF the stoves in the great yellow land arks,
but tho soul of Barnum still went march
ing on.
Now and then there would slip out from
the ark to waiting world such morsels of
great truth as that a new greatest in cap
uvity' had been jborn, that the camels had
mutinied because OF dusty breakfast food.
or that the monkey, to vary the long Nights
The New York herald., 1922-01-15
IN THE SUBWAY.

IN THE SUBWAY.
w TE don't know yet what the idea was.
wv Perhaps you can tell US. AS he
dropped his nickel in the slot OF
the "featherweight" gate he stood stock
still. The train pulled into the station, but
he didn't move. He just stood there and
gazed at the electric light near the slot Of
the picturesque clickety-click device.
Perhaps the thing fascinated him.
Perhaps he was bewildered and didn't
know what to do next.
Perhaps-and this, we think, is nearest
the truth--he was an absent minded patron
of those nickel in the slot restaurants, and,
having deposited his jtney, was waiting for
a little door to fly open so that he could
put his hand in and take out the corn muf-
fins or coffee cake or whatever 1t was he
thought he had ordered.
The New York herald., 1922-01-15
The Elephant Works
In Winter as in Summer

To the elephant. however, the season in
the winter quarters brings no hours fraught
with the charm of nothing to do. The ele-
phant of the three ring show is performer
and worker pure and simple. He must
paradei he must open the show in the glitter
ing panorama of panopled pageantry he
must pyramid and play baseball and when all
is over he must help the wagons out OF the
mud rutted lots and perhaps have to put his
broad shoulder to the tail end OF. the heavy
band wagon or the pole truck and ease 1t UP
The New York herald., 1922-01-15

Copyright. 1922. by the Bell Syndicate.
The New York herald., 1922-01-15

BURRsvnLE CRY, Jan. IA.
THE most exciting night this Borough
has seen since Councilman Cor
Omaha daily bee., 1922-05-12
G. O. P. State Convention
Will Be Held August Is
Lincoln Named as Meeting Place by State Committee
Congressman Graham Tells of Record of
Inactivity of Senator Hitchcock on
Important Measures.

Lincoln. Neb.. May il.-(Speeial
felegram,) - Formal authorization
Tor the calling OF the republican state
convention TO meet in Lincoln. Aug
ust IS. was given BY the republican
state committee. meeting here today
as a preliminary to the republican
rally tonight. The convention is TO
be called ior II a. N. and delegates
will be apportioned to the various
counties on the basis oi. one for each
$50 votes east for Harding in 1920.
plus one at large for each county.
Aside from this item OF business.
tho meeting was devoted 10 an in
troduciory address by State Chair
man McCloud OF York and a short
speech by Congressman w. J. Gra-
ham OF Illinois. ...
II understand said Chairman Me-
Cloud. that taxes are an issue IN this
campaign. That is all right with me-
Taxes arc coming down, coming
down in both nation aud state aud
coming down because OF the action
and economy OF administration di-
rected by republicans. The national
budget has been cut 81 900, 900 900 in
a single year and the state appropria-
tons were cut S2,000000 by the spe-
cial session OF the state legislature.
That will have its effect in the taxes
people will pay and they will realize
to whom is due the credit for the ef-
ficicnt administration that makes it
possible"
Gives Hitchcock Record.
Congressman Graham pair particu-
lar attention to the record of United
States Senator Gilbert NJ. Hitchcock,
candidate to succeed himself ae
Ncbraska's representative in the up
per house of congress. He cited Sen
ator Hitchcock's voting record on
important legislation in the last year.
1t follows:
Tariff on hides, not voting.
Emergency agricultural tariff bill,
voted "No."
Willis Campbell bill to forbid use
OF beer as medicine, not voting.
Regulation of packing houses. not
voting.
Resolution for peace with Ger
many, voted mo"
Revenue bill, not voting
Ratification OF German peace
treaty. present but not voting.
Ratification Of Austrian peace
treaty. present but not voting.
Ratification of Hungarian peace
treaty, voted yes"
Free agricultural seeds. not voting.
Ratification of four-power treaty.
voted "No."
Commission to; negotiate funding