New-York tribune., 1922-08-11
The 7ower


at innocent clay pigeons?
Have you no mosquitoes in your
home?
1t must be that outftters for the
out-of-door life have conspired all
these years to keep the mosquito out
of the realms Of sport and venery.
Nightly, as we pursue the quarry round
and round the small but sporty course
of our bedroom, our belief grows that
this conspiracy must be shattered.
For the mosquito is the gamiest Of
the game and once you have tasted
the real pleasures of his chase you'll
find you need no other exercise or ex-
citement. Your only unfulfilled want,
If you are ardent in pursuit, will be
a few hours more sleep.
There are some, of course, with
sluggish blood who are deaf to the call
of the red gods. They prefer torpid
slumber to the glory Of the hunt over
bed and chairs. They have SO little
respect for the place that their an
cestors have won for them on the lad
der Of evolution that they will actually
assume the role Of the hunted. In
them we see the distressing spectacle
of man, the conqueror, fleeing before the
assaults Of critter far less highly
specialized and intelligent.
These craven souls bathe themselves
in loathsome citronella and crawl into
bed, there to lie, the solid center of
q nebula Of fumes. They refuse to
maintain the standards of human su-
premacy and resort to the cowardly
tactics Of the skunk.
Then there are others who emulate
not the skunk but the seal. These,
on retiring, pull the covers over their
heads in abject fashion and Try to WOO
slumber before they smother. Even
tually imminent uffocation impels them
to thrust their heads above the sur
face, and the mosquito, waiting Esqui-
mau-like beside the breathing hole,
sends home his harpoon with a demon
yell.
But the normal, red-blooded man
will not submit tamely to being a
quarry. High of heart, he arrays him
self in his pajamas, habiliments of
the chase, and with view halloo or
two the hunt is on.
Its duration depends partly on the
hunters accuracy and partly on his
stamina. 1t is best for the tyro to
fix limit to his intended bag for
the evening. Then, If his wife can
also be fired with the spirit Of the
chase, she should be equipped with
a pad and pencil and seated in a far
corner Of the bed, as far out of harms
way as possible. There her duty is
to note the number Of wallops ex-
pended by her spouse in Staying, say,
twenty-five mosquitoes. A few weeks
Of practice and the earnest huntsman
will find himself going over the course
close to par.
Constant application will develop in
each mosquito hunter an individual
technique. The most effective method
|
nd temperament Of the person en-
gagged in the chase. Some prefer the
cautious stalk, the breath holding ap-
proach and the final feline assault
Others uphold the rushing attack and
the subsequent dem olition of a con-
fused victim. A few of the older and
more rheumatic devotees employ sharp
shooter tactics, using the Kitchen broom
draped with wet cloth. We advise
against this last method unless your
landlord has already promised to re-
decorate the fiat.
There are some who hold that it is
more sportsmanlike to capture the
quarry on the wing. This can be done,
but once your mosquito is imprisoned
in your clenched hand, what then?
There you are and there he is. You
watch the various orifices of your fist
like dog who has found rabbit
in hollow log.
You blow in one end to discourage
the captive from coming out that way.
You puff in the other to prevent his
escape in that direction. You work
your fingers frantically in an endeavor
to crush your victim-and he crawls
out between them and flies away.
The human hand, welded in the fash ..
ion Of tennis racket, is after all the
divinely ordained instrument. Begin
ners should be warned, however,
against tendency to smite too hard.
Swiftness, rather than power, is what
is required. The perfect huntsman is
he who can spread his quarry on the
wall without completely numbing his
hand or jarring down bric-a-brac in
the adjoining fiat.
A peculiarly distressing incident in
our own early days Of following the
chase leads US to emphasize this warn
ing against too much force.
Inspired by the excitement of the
hunt. we pursued a large mosquito
with cynical expression and legs of
white and black barber-pole design
from one end of our bed chamber to
the other and back again. Eventually
we cornered him and smote.
We smote with all the lust of the
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