The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1922-06-19
Advice To The
 LOvelOrn
Who Occupies a Unique Position In the Writing World As An Author 1ty On the Problems of Girls
 Barring Her Friends
By Beatrice Fairfax,

The man I expect to marry some day is making me very unhappy. p
 writes c. J. w. We've been friends for two years. It isn't that he has
 come right out and asked me to be engaged. It's just that he doesn't go around with other girls and acts as if he loved me and is always talking Of our future. So I think I have a right to plan my life with him in it. But he neglects me so that I can't be happy. He works three nights a week. He goes to lodge one night.
 One evening he spends with a crowd of men friends. And he al- ways goes home for Sunday with his mother in the country And that leaves two evenings for me-Wednes- day and Saturday. If have some thing important on for one of those evenings, he tries to be nice about it. But know he is hurt. Only it never occurs to him to substitute one of his busy evenings for it. So some times I see him only once a week We've talked things over but to no avail. He seems to think his lodge and his boy friends all important. But nothing I want to do counts
 He says that if I cared to see him Wednesday and Saturday, I'd keep the evenings open-and if I don't he isn't to blame. A little coldness is growing between us. And yet I feel can't live without him. I can't give in. But I want to find a way to make him treat me right"
 Here's another letter. which tells practically the same story. Rosa writes:
 I'm secretly engaged to a man of whom I think the world. But I'm not happy because I don't think he's treating me right. He has time for everything but me. He always has excuses about seeing his partner on business or having to go out of town on business or having to take GUS toners to dinner. And often these things come up at the last minute and I find myself sitting at home night after night crying my eyes out"
 Now while I ympathize most earn estly with the girl who finds that hay ing a mans love doesn't assure you of his attention and devotion all the time I'm not sure that either C. J. w. or Rosa or any of the numerous other girls who write me to the same effect are doing much to improve their situations.
 As long as there are such things in the world as business and arnbi- ton and the need of making a living, men are going to be off about their affairs on numerous occasions when their women folks would like them to be dancing attendance.
 Love and marriage are the seri- ous business of life. man needs the equipment of money and a bright future before he takes unto himself a wife. A man doesn't give up all desire to get ahead in the world the minute he finds the girl he wants to get ahead for. And if he did-who would suffer more because of his 'tshiftlessn ess'' than his wife?
 The woman whose love is big and constructive must teach herself to share a mans ambitions. She must urge him on to achievement, She mustn't put the moment ahead of the great wuture of days and years She be SO intent on her own good times and the companionshfp she craves at a given moment that she loses sight of the goal toward which a man may be working all the time he spends away from her.
 If a man is so absorbed in his own however that he doesn't see his sweetheart as an Individual with longings and hopes and desires of her own-then he is selhsh-but, perhaps, nothing worse. And even selfish man can be educated by a girl who has tact and love and patience and understanding.
 Generally when a man devotes his time to one wonnans it is because he thinks her The One Woman. And If he doesn't come up to her stand ards of devotion, but is honest and fearless and hard-working, she mustn't lay more stress on senti- mentality and attention than on the big sentiment which impels her man to work hard to give her the kind of future he wants her to share.