The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1922-03-04
ON SECOND THOUGHT
BY JAY E. HOUSE
tFrom Philadelphia Public Ledger)

| A letter from Dr. Edmund b. Piper
| gives us grave concern. DR.. Piper ac-
cuses US of having given a very poor
imitation of Ring Lardner in the let
ter to President Harding which re-
Gently appeared herein. We have
! been accused many times of initiating
Mr.. Lardner; but DR.. Piper is the first,
we believe, to insinuate that we did
poor job of it. We can stand abuse,
but criticism of our craftsmanship al
ways inks us. And so we are, so to
speak, desolated.
We have been initiating Mr.. Lard
ner since. about 1907 or 1908. We
were, in point of fact, initiating him
some two or three years before we
ever herd of him, and five or six years
| before we began read his stuff.
Curiously enough. the big-souled, gen
erous-hearted folk of the middle west
! never seemed to mind it. Rather they
encouraged us by laughing their heads
off every time we projected an imita-
ton. But the east seems to be dis
' tinct1y antagonistic TO that sort of
1 thing. Every time we pull an imita-
ton of this bird Lardner somebody
objects. Probably we shall have to
give it up, at least until we feel the
impulse to do it again. Meanwhile
our defense Is that when we decide
to initiate somebody we pick out the
best man in the business. If we were
initiating H. Addison Bruce, Arthur
Brisbane, DR.. Frank Crane or William
Jennings Bryan there might be rea-
sonable ground for objection to the
practice. But we picked the funniest
guy in the world, and we don't be-
lieve there should be any fuss about it.
Another thought iIluminates the
territory contiguous to the main idea
1t is that the hand of injustice and
Intolerance always threatens the poor
and humble Take@Elsie Janis-we
believe, as a matter of fact, that no
body has taken her-but take Miss
Janis. She can go out and get $4,000
a week on the vaudeville circuits for
| doing a series of limitations of mere
nobodies. Next year she can get the
same money for going over the same
circuit and doing the same thing.
The same people would turn Quito see
her do it again and greet her act with
screams of laughter. We do an imita-
ton of the smartest guy in the bust
ness for half the money-for less than
half the money-and all we hear is
raucous jeer. 1t amt right.
Doctor Piper also accuses US of
Having ''slurred" the soldiers. We
had no such thought. We were a bit
confused in mind concerning the bo-
nus. We wished to clarity the matter.
This thought had occurred to us: If
the boys were fighting for money,
500 isn't enough; if they were fight
ing for their country anything is too
much. And SO. to get the matter
straight in mind, we opened up the
subject for discussion and cheerfully
assumed a STOPPING posture in close
proximity to the block. But we had
10 thought of "slurring'' anybody.
We may add that we no longer are
confused in mind. The question has
been clarified to us. More than half
of the ex-service men who have taken
the trouble to write to us are against
the bonus. Ninety per cent of all the
others who have expressed themselves
are of the same mind. This country
has preserved its patriotic glow.
And so, feeling that the country is
all right, we dismiss the matter from
mind and close the column to further
discussion of it.
We don't know whether we did 1t
audibly. but we recall having Won
dered how much Mr.. Hays's reputed
salary of $4,000 a year would be
when transmitted into actual cur
rency. We now are in position to |
speak. having had what seems to be
authoritative word OF the subject. !
Stripped of its glamour, Mr.. Hays's
salary is $4,000 a week. or 100000 a |
year. 1t is, we shall add. the largest |
salary ever drawn by a Sunday school |
superintendent from Brown county, |
Indiana.
Very welli We wish to cast no re- |
Election on the ability of Mr.. Hays. |
Still less do We impugn the perSpicac- |
ity of the motion picture impresarios. |
But if he wasn't hired for that, why |
was he hired at all?
Her fiance is quoted as saying that (
Miss Mccormick, having given the ris- |
ing generation the "once over decided .
she preferred a man of fifty-seven |
and returned to him. Up to the time |
a man is fifty he kids the world. |
After that he tries to kid himself.
1t must be said, however, that Mr. i
Oser is modest in his demands. All |
he expects is two homes-one in this /
country and one in Switzerland. We |
are more predatory by nature. If we |
had Standard Oil and the International |
Harvester company practically within
our grasp the world would get thrill |
out of it.
Still. we don't envy the prospective |
bridegroom his intimate association
with the largest private collection of
maZuma in the world. He must also |
listen Unfortunately and indefinitely !
to the prattle of sixteen-year-old girl.
And when one if fifty-seven that's an
awful experiencec
We found yesterdays foreign news
unusually edifying, and we credit it !
with one distinct wallop. Regina
Badet, the nude dancer of Paris, i'm
parted it. Having been interviewed, i,
Mile. Badet expressed dismay at the |
depths to which dancing in Paris had
descended.
When a nude dancer begins to de-
spair of amateur opponents of her pro-
fession it indicates that terpsichorean
expression is having an unusual reve-
lation- We are at the office every
day from about 1920 o'clock in the
morning until around 4:30 o'clock in
the-afternoon. Wed take it as a favor
if some Philadelphian who has been