Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1922-04-23

sam. 10 come over anu jun the eoi
ference.
The song ran this way:
Uncle Sam we hoped you'd join us
Under ltaiy's skies SO fair.
We asked you to our parley,
But We got the icy stare.
Chris Columbus sailed from this town
In fourteen ninety-two.
Even he could not discover
A way to pay what's due.
We have met and We have missed YOU,
There is here vacant chair.
We are longing to caress you
All the moneys over there.
Squash Center" as depicted by
Bergman in his Star cartoons, was
visualized to the diners by an assem-
hiage of 'Tubes" around the grocery
store stove. a placard announced,
Our platform-A bonus for every
voter"
ITS good to be around the stove
on wild night like this" quoth one:
Heaven help the poor sailors at sea.
sailors at sea? What about the
politicians? They are very much at
sea just now"
You can bet that's true in Wash
ington."
Signs OF Election.
One of the chair warmers sang
song, There's a Hot Campaign a-Com-
ing" one verse Of which said:
Speeches now are growing longer;
Days are full of CUFF,
And the mails are heavy laden
With the same old stuff.
Same old charges how are lying
Through the atmosphere.
And we know by old familiar signs
That election day is near.
81 hear tell there is going to be a
republican postmaster for Squash
Center"
"Do tell. Has Harding been swore
in?r :.
we amt seen no proof of it yet. =,
Miss Democracy entered ana asheu
for a pound of prunes. = .,a
shes democrat. all right. II she
asks for prunes. The republicans an
want plums," was the comment, - ,ua
Voters Now" which declared that tne
women were too busy to vote, one old
farmer observed, whats the use OF
worrying about women not NotihS
All they ever wanted was merely the
right to vote. - e..
same. some of these days they Will
begin to vote, and then we will nave
to buy all our tobacco from a boot
logger"
Speaking of bootleggers. this man
Volstead is great protectonist. ne
has created a tremendous ZIG" ~
corn. and he certainly has developed
home industry.
Man in Noon Knows.
Somebody asked whether Beveridge
will beat Harry New and Pat Kelley
defeat Senator Townsend. The an
swer was to TASK the man IN the
moon" because president Harding
passes the buck to Congress ana Con
gress passes the buck to the Presi-
q
the man in the moon, Wnereupon d
member sang a topical song TO the
familiar air. One verse ran:
1.-THE democrats out in the colo
Are hoping to win again soon.
VIII Woodrow come pack.
Or will it be Mac? :,
You must ask of the man in the moon.
A member who proposed to deliver
a speech on 1.-THE Onus of the Bonus.
or .BIocs and Blockheads. compro-
missed in favor of song about Con-
gress, one verse of which ran:
THE House and the Senate keep
talking forever:
Why don't they get down to some
honest endeavor'
Relief that was promised Will never
come. never.
4 song by way of personal tribute
to President Harding closed the shil
and furnished the key for the Presi-
dents speech, which. according TO
custom. is never reported. The rule
applies to all speakers. being the sole
rule of the club: Ladies are always
present-reporters are never present.
Lands and Hays There.
of course, with Judge Lands and
VIII Hays numbered among the
guests. there was of necessity skit
on these two well known personases
and their efforts to uplift base ball
and the movies. Two members rep
resenting them appeared in the hall
and exchanged greetings. thereafter
engaging in considerable airy per
sifage about their respective under
takings.
"Hows everything out in Hollywood.
jedge?" asked the pseudo Mr.. Hays.
..Oh. they We're having perfectly
killing time out there.
by the way, judge. what's the idea
of paying Babe Ruth bonus Tor
every home rum
aren't there some 500 fellows up
there in Congress looking on a bonus
for the home runs they expect 10
make next November?
Lands, VINO wore d VASE YAH SaSSh
er's pad, was asked what 1T was.
THAT'S a hot-water bottle. in case
the fellows who are paying me my
salary should get cold feet"
Lands allowed that he and Hays
ought to go into the Senate.
"That bunch is too temperamental
for me-" objected Hays.
That Political Band Wagon.
Two newly elected members of the
club were initiated. They entered
as candidates for political office, at
tended by managers, press agents
and a band.
cut out that noise. What do you
think this is-a circus parade?"
Same thing. Modern politics has
borrowed many things from the Cir
Gus. 1t borrowed me. l am this can
didate's campaign manager. Before
] went into politics l was a circus
press agent. but the direct primary
business pays better than the circus
business"
And it borrowed me, too" said the
other manager.
Il used to follow circus, selling
soap. but selling candidate Is
easier The rest of these men are
campaign managers and press agents.
candidate across nowadays
do you all get paid or do you
work for the good of the cause"
"Of course, these men get paid out OF
the campaign fund"
"And do you candidates have to
make up that fund.-
Source of Money Mystery.
I'VE don't know who puts up the
l heard rumor that my
brother put up some. but one can't
believe all the rumors one hears in