The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1922-01-23
IIUGH, AND THE WORLD


1 care not a fig. just now, when they tumble.
Just now tits joke, my laugh is a roar,
chuckling elated, continuous rumble
WINNIE.
DEAR MAC" continues Winnie webster
Saws in his second definition that 'piffle' means
excessive nicely; fussy precision ana atten-
ton to trifies' The first definition isn't nice,
so be sure to apply the second one
A. RIGHT. Winnie lass; yet we're nae sac
certain aboot our attention to tribes. Gin we
were muckle particular wad hae caught
the error the ither day when the linotype lad
die CARED us say, "Hoot moon" instead o
"Hoot, mon; and again caused Scorplo TO say
my Mac" when he meant by Mac.
@Bclold. How Good and How Pleasant 1t Is for
Brethren to Dwell Together in Unity"
Dear Scammy: Your plea to discontinue
the street-car serial was duly received. Being
stakeholder in that there railway company
must be exciting but it hardly entities you to
apv privileges here. But because you are also
q knight in Macs Fraternity of Fearless Fans,
I'll be delighted to grant your urgent request.
Then, too, Mac has his hands fulI, serving US
our daily marmalade of minced meters with
ont having the house divided against itself,
whatever that means. Being an architect, dear
sir as we'll as author, would you please
enIighten me- how house could possibly COL
lapse in just that way? WIN
THEY would find vastly different jobs writ
ing and saying things to Immediately be sent
at is a sale designed to completely close
out our stocks "a local ad.
TT will be necessary to completely redeco-
rate another local ad.
May we suggest the advisability of not
delaying . to properly report upon this i'm
portant matter."-Stanwood Co.'S ad.
ut is discouraging to note that many
are taking advantage of the farmers distress
to heartlessly extort Secretary Wallace.
Is it possible, we wonder, to fully explain,
to clearly diagram to plainly illustrate the
splitting of inhniuvet Probably not Re
Iuctanuy we conclude that 80 per cent OF the
writers and 9S per cent of the readers don't
know a split inhnitive from squash; and
the remaining 10 and per cent don't care
tlnker's dam.
PLEASE PASS THE PIPE OF PEACE
Scamoz', It's consolation enough to know
that the fustian tack went home with the first
smack of the sledgehammer
l refuse to struggle with spikes. when lacks
are much easier.
Until last night, 1 haven't had such a deli
cous shudder IN long time-not since
watched Cy De Vry feed the heela monster al
Lincoln Park.
YLncw Cy was some animal tanner, and
even vouched for the truth of the story about
the terrified elephant Juggling at its chain and
trumpeting shriily at the sight of a mouse
Guess Cy mad the right dope.
Why, Oh, why did you act so ghoulish about
the unioved fiat-wheeled abortion? You dug it
up, it's your job to spade it under, thor
oughly this time and forever have done with
its etiiuvia.
Just word on the subject OF holding stock
i'll the TIC street chemin de fer: there are
many ether stars in the GG club, so debate
yourself! man, debate yourselfi My U. l.. &
Ry. dividends are sweet babies and I'll match
my pile Of per cent Prior Preferreds against
yours any day. Winnie, please note)
And, Scamoz', old son, better dump the
vitriol out OF the old Conklin; throw away
the barbed lance and polish up the jousting
stick-it's more fun.
Will you remove your glove and "Mitt Me-?
SCORPIO.
Hey Mac, I'm still here, but gosh! it was
close call! You yelled just in time, and
managed to duck that wild swing scamoz'
uncorked last night.
Many thanks. Mac. for them few kind and
weil-chosen words. and if you ever need q
2oe-pound body guard, call on SCoRP'.
SKUNKS are the last, last animals we'd
choose for pets Miss Gladys Vessing of Plac-
erville, Cal, has two of them and poses for a
photograph with the pair nesting close to
her cheeks.
The scentless and the scented rose"i
Oh, Well. They May Come in Time.
lFr0m lilo" 1 Met my Better Half. Sunday
We were married on Christmas
day, just six weeks after we had met
and We have had no regrets SO far.
FROST Hit Sothern California" headlines
the Davenport Democrat.
We didn't know he was in California. but if
he is probably the frost was welcomed.
THE KINK IS DEAD! LONG LIVE THE
QUEEN
Sir: PICKLE indeed are the whims of fame
and fortune Just short time ago l was pro-
claimed the kfnk Of the Fur-bearing Kinkdom
by the High Execuuoner of this colyum and
upon my wooden dome was placed the crnvr
Of Sugar Bowl Then Euphrosyne smites the
crown with missile and it falls with a thud
On my equity loot! Et tn. Euphrosyne, Soon
some other conspirator will throw a notato ard
Knock the crown from your queenIy head
SOLOMON PIFTLE.
THE conflicting reports on the death Of
Benedict XIV are reminiscent of the amazing
a-mistice".
BUT in this case Cardinal Bourne and Rent |
'rs seem to be the ones who slipped the cable.
r E. MIG.