Middletown transcript., 1922-01-14
By PETER B. KYNE

nome. AT the conclusion or the TOAST
Mr.. McGuffey set down his glass,
wiped his mouth with the back Of his
hairy hand, and thus addressed the
syndicate.
"In leavin' this paradise Of the South
| Pacific" he began, 1--WE find that we
have accumulated other wealth besides
the loot below decks. I refer to his
royal highness, the king Of Kandavu,
| and his prime minister, Tabu-Tabu.
When these two outlaws was first cap
tured, informed the syndicate that
would scheme out punishment be-
fittin' their crime, to-wiu-lnurderin
| an eatin' you two boys. It's been a
big job and it's taken some time, me
not bein' blessed with quite as fine an
imagination as our friend, Glib. How
ever, pride myself that hard work al
ways brings success, and am ready to
announce what disposition shall be
made of these two interestin' speci-
mems Of aboriginal life. I beg to an
nounce. gentlemen, that have invent
ed punishment fittin' the crime"
| Impossible" said Captain Scraggs.
"Shut up. Scraggs," struck In Com
modore Gibney. "Out with 1t, Mac.
What's the program?"
II move you, members Of the syndi-
cate, that the schooner Maggie II pro-
ceed to some barren, uninhablted
island, and that upon arrival there
this savage king and his still more
savage subject be taken ashore in a
small boatn I also move you, gentle
men Of tin syndicate, that inasmuch
as the two aggrieved parties, A. P.
Gibney and P. Scraggs, having in n
sperrit Of mercy refrained from layin'
their hands on said prisoners for fear
of invalidin' them at time when their
services was of Importance to the ex-
pedition, be given an opportunity to
take out their ,grudge on the persons
Of said savages. Now, I notice that
the king is miserable, skinny, sawed
off and hammered-down old cove. BY
all the rules Of the prize ring he's in
Scraggsy's class" (Here Mr.. McGuf-
fey flashed a lightning wink to the
commodore. 1t was an appeal for Mr..
Gibney's moral support in the engi-
neer's scheme to put up job on Cap
tain Scraggs, and thus relieve the
tedium of the hOmeward trip. Mr..
Gibney instantly telegraphed his ap-
probation. and McGuffey continued }
81 notice also that If was to hunt the
universe over, I couldn't find better
match for Glib than Tabu-Tabu. And
as we are all agreed that the white
race Is superior to any race on earth,
mill before we leave the country, l
move you, gentlemen of the syndicate,
that we pull off finish fight between
Scraggsy and the king, and Glib and
Tabu-Tabu. I'll referee both contests
and at the conclusion of the mixup
We'll leave these two murderers ma
rooned on the island and then"
Rats" snapped Captain Scraggs.
THAT amt no business at all. You
shouldn't consider nothin' short of
capital punishment. Why, that's only
petty larceny form Of"
"Quit buttin' in on my prerogatives," )"
roared McGuffey. "That amt the fin
ish by no MEANS"
"What Is the finish, then?'
"Why, these two cannibals, bein' left
alone on the desert island, naturally
bumps up agin the old question Of the
survival of the fittest. They get scrap
pin among themselves, and one eats
the other up"
"By the toe-nails Of Moses" NUT
tered Mr.. Gibney in genuine admlra-
tion, "but you have got an imagina-
tlon after all, Mac. The point Is well
taken and the program will go through
as outlined. Scraggs, you'll fight the
king. No buckin' and grumblin'. You'll
fight the king. You're outvoted two to
one, the things been done regular, and
you can't kick. I'll fight Tabu-Tabu,
SO you see you're not gettin' any the
worst Of It, Well proceed to an island
in the Friendly group called Tuvana-
tholo. 1t lies right In our homeward
course, and there amt enough grub on
the confounded island to last two men
week. And I know there amt no
water there. So, now that that matter
Is all settled, we will proceed to heave
the anchor and scoot for home. Mac,
tune up your engines and Wen get
out Of here a-whoopin' and a-flyin'."
1t was an eight-hundred-mile run up
to Tuvana-tholo, but the weather held
good and the trade-winds never slack
ened. Ten days from the date of leav-
ing Kandavu they hove to off the
island. Il was long, low. sandy atou,
with few coconut-palms growing In
the center Of it, and with the exception
Of vast colony Of seabirds that ap-
parently made 1t their headquarters,
the island was devoid of life.
The bloodthirsty McGuffey stood at
the break of the poop, and as he gazed
shoreward he chuckled and rubbed his
hands together.
Great, great" he murmured. 81
couldn't have gotten better island If
I'd had one built to order" He called
aft to the navigating officer: "Scrag-
gsy, there's the ring. Nothin' else to
do now but get the contestants into it.
Along in the late afternoon, when the
heat of the day is over, we'll 60 ashore
and pull off the fight. And, by George,
Scraggs, If that old king succeeds in
lambastin' you, I'll set the rascal free"
Seeing that there was no escape,
Captain Scraggs decided to bluff the
matter through. Lets go ashore and
have it over WITH" he said carelessly.
I'm a man Of peace, but when there's
fightin' to be done, say go to it and
no tomfoolery."
"Clear away the big whaleboat with