Evening star., 1922-07-16

| Woulo announce explosive, landing q
platter of chops in front Of Barry
Boiled potatoes" she'd call out
favoring Uncle Nels. Green peasn
she would declaim, slamming them
beside my plate. And then, before we
GOULD recover from the shock, shed
start one of her chatty monologues
choosing some topic of general in
terest, such as how she thought at
first we all belonged to the same family,
and how surprised she was to learn
that Inez wasn't my sister or Barry
my brother. And no little tricks OF
ours. like trying to do some talking
| among ourselves, would switch her
of. SHE'D simply drop her own line
and chime in on ours.
not that we had any snobbish no
tions about keeping : the lower
clawsses IN their place. In exchange
for all the expert housework Sairy
Jewett,was reeling OFF at three a day
I would have swapped q good deal OF
friendly talk and called it bargain.
But when II came to listening to a
| rapid Are monologue that continued
as long as any one was in earshot-
that was a bit wearing -
And it wasn't so much the guam
tity of her patter as it was the quail
fty. I've heard and read more or
less about Yankee voices. from the
down-east drawl to the clipped Con-
necticut dialect, and I've always
thought the .humorists were exag-
gerating. But now i know better.
II. you could put Sairy on the stage.
voice and all, she would be a knock
out. Her talk was a high pitched
| COO that was almost too sweet and
| suRary to be true. Yet it was a
carrying, penetrating tone, with the
loud pedal on every third word that
| gave it a staccato movement which
was just as pleasing as listening TO
a piano tuner at work. Every word
seemed to start from somewhere up in
the top Of her head and each syllable
| came out clear and round. You didn't
| escape a single consonant. Anal or
| otherwise. And the merciless mo-
notony of those high notes was some
thing awful. After about an hour
! of it you felt as though you had been
I cuffed over the ears. So you can
guess that we didn't linger at the
! table.
We had endured Sairy's running
| orations for two whole days before
getting together formally as a coun-
Gil of war. Even the placid Inez. who
could qualify as long distance
| listener under almost any circum
stances, had lost patience.
stT>HAT woman's gonna drive me
bughouse if she don't stop" de-
clared Inez.
Like water runnin' over a dam,
her talk is" declared Uncle Nels.
| II can seem to hear her even when
I'm asleep" adds Barry.
II know" says l. You'd almost
| think she was out for a nonstop rec
| ord, and that sirupy coo Of hers has
got me all cloyed up. I feel as
though somebody had dropped a sheet
| of sticky hypaper on my disposition.
But I've been hoping all along that
material
Not her" says Barry. getting
reckless with his pronouns. She
| has the fatal gift OF conversation and
an unfailing source to back it up.
When Niagara goes dry maybe she
| will, too. but not before. She has
| had US at her mercy for five meals
| now and at each one she has enlarged
upon some weak point in Bill Jewetts
| character. yet I can see that she has
only begun to sketch him in for US.
| The really fine points about his lazy
| habits and general unworthiness
she's saving up for US. And she has
only touched casually on Mi1lie and
! her Uncle Hank. There must be 9th
er members of the Jewett family and
i neighbors and people Sairy has work
| ed for. Then there are her own likes
and dislikes, and the trouble she's
had with her knee. No, can't see
| any chance that she'll ever lack for
| topic And I should say that the
mystery of why Bill left home was
| thoroughly solved. My only wonder
| is that he didn't leave sooner and 60
| farther Patagonia or China would
L
Bill Jewett."
Me. I'm gonna wear cotton in my
| ears announces Inez.
| That would merely muff1e the
| sound of her voice" says 1. 'I'll
bet you could hear her through a
| two-foot brick WALL
Couldn't you hint to her." sug-
|
| much?" =
| "I have" says 1. But Sairy isn't
| the kind that takes hints. OF course
I could come right out plain and nat.
footed and forbid her to speak while
she was serving meals, but then Tn
sure she would leave the next minute
And you've got to remember that fol-
nine months or so out Of every twelve
| she lives practically alone on thai
isolated little place of hers, two mile.
back from the main road Day after
day in the winter she sees no one
but Millie and has no chance to ex.
| change gossip or air her opinions
Think what that must mean to a per.
| son Of her gifted abilities"
well, it's mighty tough to have
| all that pent-up conversation unload.
ed on u.s." protests Barry.
| 1.---ss X + II
g A ND We left New York." Inez re.
minds me. because a feller in
the next block played a saxophone
| every Sunday. Huh"
Don't" Inez!" says 1. you almos,
| make me homesick."
1t was these careless words that