Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1922-08-30
y
An Old Mans Lament


A little Viroqua boy who heard his
father debating a letter to his stem
agrapher, was about right when he
asked his mother if his papa could
not write himself, and had to tell the
young lady to do it for him.
r. 4 X X
His Idea of Getting Even
AS an index of character, the teach
er was asking the class one after an
other what they would most like to do.
"And what is your greatest ambi-
tion Jimmie ?" she inquired.
Il think it is to wash mothers ears"
4,
One of the Lacrosse Radio hounds
suggests that area wires be fitted with
barbs to aid in catching the waves.
He probably remembers the results of
climbing fence while stealing wat
ermelons.
Girls who have learned to dance,
paint and look sweet can't see any
earthly use for learning to think.
To Miss Flapper
Blessings on thee, little dame
Bareback girl with knees the same,
With thy rolled down silken hose
And they short, transparent clothes;
With thy red lips, redeemed more,
Smeared with lipstick from the store;
With they makeup on thy face,
And thy bobbed hairs jaunty grace.
From my heart | give thee joy
Glad that | was born boy.
r. 4
The Original Feminine
Adam was walking up the path with
his pet dinosaurs.
Hubby, said Eve, wistfully, "shin-
ny up that tree and get me the gold
and purple leaf on the top bough"
Eve, for heavens saks, away up
there? Why I'd fall and break my"
Never mind that, Adam, you shin
ny! I'm going over to Nod to a card
party this afternoon and I've got to
show some class to that bunch of
stuck-up hensl"
And SO, setting the example for all
time, Adam took chance and shin
MED up.-Richmond Times Dispatch.
That jamestown, N. Y, mans
rooster that smokes cigarettes probab-
ly learned the habit from going out
with the chickens.
Have you noticed those new fringed
skirts that have lately come into
style2 Well a young Sisseon mat
ron bought one when she went to Wat
ertown the other day and wore it
once. When asked why she didn't wear
it oftimes she said: "Once is enough.
1t tickled my neesl Once l rather
liked to feel tickle now and then
around my knees, but guess I'm get
ting too old for that sort of thing
and SO I'm going TO give it to Bess.
She'll like it.1-Sisseton Courier. (S.DA
Why IS it that you aren't married,
Sam Z" asked the white woman of the
shiftless colored man who did odd Jobs
for her. Wont any of the girls have
your"
"Oh,yas'm they'd have me all right.
replied Sam. "But it's this-a-way.
When feels like gettin' married, I
amt got no So for a license. And
when has 81 | feels too rich to get
married"
Best results are always obtained by
yielding the right of way to a rail-
road train, street car, or heavy
truck. There's no instance on record
where an auto has done much dam
age to any of them.
SOME NUTS
1t happened in one of those "nixed"
shops where all the sorts and condi-
tons of commodities were sold, altho
the proprietor was registered as a con-
fectioner. In one of the windows was
bag of small potatoes. A poten-
tial customer scrutinized the window
closely. Finally he entered the shop.
and pointing to the potatoes stated:
Give ma dimes worth of them nuts,
tney are particularly fine and large
EXPLICIT
Chief Justice Taft, a great reader.
was discussing books at dinner party
in Washington.
This high-brow talk about
style, he said, "amuses me. Style
usually means affectation. The best
writer's have no style. It's as if they
were talking to you"
Styilsts are always looking ror
trouble: One of them entered q drug
store the other day and asked for q
mans comb"
Do you want a narrow mans
comb p" said the attendant.
The stylist gave disguised laugh.
No he said, al want a comb for
stout man with rubber teeth"
n 4
n Kansas paper says the best way
TO invest in oil stock is to get tin
can, carefully place in it your money,
then sneak out in the back yard and
bury it under couple of feet Of moth
er earth We add our recommends
ton to this plan.
= y =
In Glass Cage
Iife."
"An heiress 2"
ticket seller at movie show
y
A skull half an inch thick found Ia
Arizona viii be sent to Washington
That's nothing new, though, most OF
them are.
Money brings 30 little happiness "a
those who have It that can't think
it viii be the currency in our nsxt
existence. ssx