davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Hope pioneer., 1922-04-13
MADE POOR RENT COLLECTOR
indianapolis Man Evidently Too Good
Natured to Succeed In That Line
Of eus.ness.

Bachelor Joe Stokes, the druggist,
never gets peace from his story telling
friends.
Joe owns some rental property In
one of the Industrial districts. Things
have been a bit slow in industry lately
and Joe has had trouble collecting his
rents. His real estate broker con-
stantly was returning word that he
could not collect.
It'll 60 out and collect 1t myself"
Mr. Stokes said, bit peevishly-that
Is. IL Joe ever gets that way. .E
Anyhow. day or two later Joe
started out on rental collection tour.
Late that afternoon he returned to
his drug store. An unusual little smile
was working at the corners Of Joe's
mouth.
"Any luck?" one Of the clerks In
quired.
"Any luck? Boy, you're crazy! In
stead of paying me, they borrowed
money from me everywhere l WENT
Indianapolis News. il,
The Hope pioneer., 1922-04-13
HAD TO HAVE CONSERVATORY
Most Parents Of Six MarriaoeabIe
Daughters Will sympathize With
This Home Seeker.

Charles NJ. Schwab said at a recep-
tiOn In New York:
"The world is hankering after dis
armament and universal peace as the
househunter hankered after conserv-
atory.
"A househunter was looking for q
cheap, smallish house with large con-
servatory. The agent showed him a
number of houses, but as they all
lacked conservatories the hunter
turned them down. Finally the agent
said in disgusted tone:
"'Of course thought your conserv-
atory idea was just whim. A cheap
nine-rooln house with conservatory !
Why man, it amt to be found. What's
the reason you're SO crazy after con-
servatory, anyhow
"'Well, ccnfidentially,' said the
househunter. it's like this. Wife and
I have got six daughters, and all SIX
have had young fellows kind Of spark
in round 'em for long, long time; SO
what we need, you see, is a conserva-
tory. The girls want somewhere to
do the ripenin' off in.'"
The Hope pioneer., 1922-04-13
ceoroe's Future Home

She was one of the richest widows
in Washington and owned a magni1-
cent home. Therefore the marine
considered himself very fortunate
when he won her heart.
They sat side by side in the Hostess
house at Quantico, while the leather.
necks and lassies swayed to the music
Of the latest waltz.
Finally she murmured: George
dear, will I always have as fine q
home as I've got now?"
George looked worried. "Why, you
amt thinkin' Of movin', are you?" he
asked.-The Leatherneck.
The Hope pioneer., 1922-04-13

the way, just the same, I notice"
spoke up somebody with chuckle.
+Divorce is coward's retreat from
the battle of life" Captain Harris said
this. He spoke slow and decided. Cap
tain Harris is old and rich, and not
married. He's the hotels star boarder,
and what he says, goes, most always.
But it didn't this time. can remem-
Der just how old Mr.. Carlton snapped
out the next.
"Speak from your own experience,
Tom Harris, an I'm thinkin' you amt
fit ter Judge. tell you divorce is
what three fourths of the husbands an
wives in the world wish was waitin'
for. 'em at home this very night. But
It amt there" knew,-of course, he
was thinking of his wife. She's some
cross, guess, and has two warts on
her nose.
There was more. quite lot more,
said. But I've forgotten the rest. Be-
sides, they weren't talking to me then,
anyway. So picked up my thread
and slipped out Of the store, glad to
escape. But, as said before, didn't
find many like them.
OF course know now-what divorce
is, mean. And it's all settled. They
granted US some kind Of a decree or
degree, and we're going to Boston next
Monday.
It's been awful, thougl-this last
year. First we had to go to that hor-
rid place out west, and stay ages and
ages. And hated it. Mother did, too.
l know she did. went to school, and
there were quite lot Of girls my age,
and some boys; but l didn't care much
for them. l couldn't even have the fun
of surprising. them with the divorce we
were going to have. l found they were
going to have one, too-every last one
of them. And when everybody has
thing, you know there's no particular
The Hope pioneer., 1922-04-13
ILLUSTRATIONS BY
RH.LIVINGST0NE.
COPYRIGHT BY ELEANOR H. PORTER

sale; and you ought to have heard
those men laugh. There were six of
them sitting around the stove behind
me.
"Oh, yes, my little maid" (above all
things l abhor to be called little
maid!) one of them cried. "You can
buy them if you've got money enough; !;
but I don't reckon our friend Jones
here has got them for SALE"
Then they all laughed again, and
winked ut each other. (That's another
disgusting thing-winks when you ask
a perfectly civil question! But what
can you do? Stand it, that's all.
There's such lot of things we poor
women have to standby Then they
quieted down and looked very sober
the kind Of sober you know is faced
with laughs in the back-and began
to tell me what a divorce really was.
l can't remember them all, but l can
some of them. OF course understand
now that these men were trying to
be smart, and were talking for each
other, not for me. And I knew it
then-a little. We know lot more
things sometimes than folks think we
do. Well, as near as can remember
it was like this:
"a divorce is knife that cuts a
knot that hadn't ought to ever been
tied" said one.
"A divorce is Jump in the dark, VI
said another.
mo, it amt. It's Jump from the
frying pan into the fire." piped up Mr.
Jones.
"a divorce is the comedy of the rich
and the tragedy Of the poor,". said q
little man who wore glasses.
"Divorce is a nice smushy poultice
that may help but won't heal" cut in
a new voice.
divorce is guidepost marked
HI to Heaven but lots of folks miss
The Hope pioneer., 1922-04-13
ard Blow for 'Erbert.

H. G. Wells told an interviewer the
other day that prose which could be
metaphrased into poetry was anathema
to him. He will be heartbroken to
learn that in contrasting his peaceful
convalescence at Amalf year age
with his position today he perpetuated
the following:
MY mind and my soul were all my
own.
Now live to the tune Of tele
phone."
Boston Transcript.
The Hope pioneer., 1922-04-13
GETTING DIVORCED

SYNOPs1S.-In a preface Mary
Marie explains her apparent double
personality" and just why she is
cross-current and contradictions"
she also tells her reasons for writ
ing the. diary-later to be a novel.
The diary is commenced at Ander-
sonville. Mary begins with Nurse
Sarah's account of her (Mary's)
birth, which seemingly interested
her father, who is famous astron-
omer, less than new star which
was discovered the same night.
Her name is a compromise, her
father insisting on Abigail Jane.
The child quickly learned that her
home was in some way different
from those of her small friends,
and was puzzled thereat. Nurse
Sarah tells her of her mothers ar
rival at Andersonville as a bride
and how astonished they all were
at the sight Of the dainty eighteen
year-old girl whom the sedate pro-
fessor had chosen for wife. Nurse
Sarah makes it plain why the
household seemed a strange one to
the child and how her father and
mother drifted apart through mis-
understanding, each too proud to
in any way attempt to smooth over
the situation.
The Hope pioneer., 1922-04-13
Not q pebatable Point.

Not q 6ebatablo Point.
The Woman was calling on her next
door neighbor, and while seated in the
living room the front doorbell gave
a sharp ring. As 1t happened to be the
maids day out. the small daughter
Of the house answered the ring.
A penetrating voice reached L from
the open door: lis your mother en-
gagedT'
Mary Ellen's shrin treble was a
mingling of astonishment and indig-
nation. MY mother engaged! No,
ma'am; she's been married for years.
The Hope pioneer., 1922-04-13
M arr. ace.

Woman's trip into the business world
usually is an excursion. Permanent so.
journ generally is prevented by Cupid
How long should girl remain in
business before marrying?
About five years, advises Prof.
Ralph L. Powers Of the University of
California.
Women in business are going to col
lege-training themselves to be better
home managers.
The Hope pioneer., 1922-04-13
cutlcura Comfort. e,bv,s Skin

cut'cura Comforts eaby's Skin
When red, rough and itching, by hot
baths of Cuticura Soap and touches of
Cuticura Ointment. Also make use
now and then Of that exQuisitely scented
dusting powder, Cuticura Talcum, one
of the indispensable Cuticura Toilet
TriO.-Advertisemen
The Hope pioneer., 1922-04-13
Yoll CAN Walk IN coMFoRT

e you Shake Into Your Shoes solne ALIENS
FooT=EAsD. tho Antiseptic Healing pow
Il takes the friction from the shoe and
gives relief to corns and bunions. hot. tired.
shoes one sise smaller by shaking Aliens
TOotEEese in each Observation-Disclosures.
The Hope pioneer., 1922-04-13
query stumps Smoker.

When James Murphy of Long Island
City was arraigned in the Long Is.
land City police court on sharge of
smoking in subway station, he was
asked by the magistrate to give an
explanation. Murphy said:
Judge, paid my fare. and had
just filled my pipe and went down in
to the subway, and had my pipe in
my hand, and having no place to put
it, put it in my mouth. It's the first
time 1t has ever happened, Judge"
"All right, Murphy" answered Judge
oyle. I will suspend sentence on you
this time. But suppose you had an
umbrella In your hand7"
Murphy grinned. and left the court
room.
The Hope pioneer., 1922-04-13
Really New.

Agent-"1ve got device here for
getting energy out of the SUM-" Mr.
Jones-"Here! Give me one for mine. u
The Hope pioneer., 1922-04-13

Most men who don't would be glad
to pay large income tax.
The Hope pioneer., 1922-04-13

Some women marry in order to be
independent, and some men get mar.
ried for the same reason.
The Hope pioneer., 1922-04-13

Any fish a boy catches tastes good
to his way Of thinking.
The Hope pioneer., 1922-04-13
Self-Supportinu.

An attorney for Los Angeles adver-
tised Tor chauffeur. Some twenty
odd responded and were being ques-
toned as to qualifications. efficiency
and whether married or single. Final
~, turning to negro chap, he said:
'HOw about you, George; are you
marrieu?"
"Naw-sir, boss, naw-sir. All makes
nah own livin'."-From Judge.
When man Is continually talking
about his troubles his neighbors never
trouble about his talk.
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1922-10-27

~ shonk, honks q The sutoise
~ has ~ right Of way viii b.
rtscusly ara promptly heeded
- No highways Of this locality
~ msmbsrs q the Mississippi
eGof club can bring It about.
1has viii b accomplished by way
RI cooperation q the part Of the
Gnk with . statewide campaign
- IN full full vigor. and staged
n The Illinois Automobile associa-
len with which the Rock Island
ORGANIZATION IL affiliated.
6atciaIs OF the club are doing all
IT their Dower to promote cour-
I ICY and obedience 70 the golden
4Suis, and have put forth an elev-
nth commandment. Thou shall:
InCt hog the road"
To this they have added Q sup
4 elementary list Of "Don'ts" az fol-
1 JoWB:
Don't fail to dim your lights in
4 night travelling when approaching
Il another vehicle going i'll the op-
Il positc direction.
Don't fail to pull off the highway,
k8 possible, while repairing your
lear.
HI Don't make yourself a public
4 nuisance by using your "cutout,'
II Especially at night, when working
4 Deople are sleeping.
Don't fail to slow down for chill
4 dren playing at the curb. You can
sever teV what child is going to
Il 10.
II Dont cut in short after passing
. vehicle going in the same direc-
u lion.
II But the chief slogan of the cam
II paign is Courtesy" and the big
b Animus u concentrated against
II sroad hogs"
Il Recent Offenses.
y Club officers point to the fac
II nat recently six members Of thu
Il association had to have their cars
II towed into q garage because OF tn
II actions Of the hoggishly inclined
II Who precipitated accidents occa
II sicning sepairs simply because 0
II their selfish attitude toward othe
III travelerG. They claim that in Mo
III line, only short time ago. Their
III we're SO offenOs of this characte
III n one dry.
FL They assert that great many un
III toward happenings upon the high
II way result principally from shee
lack of courtesy. and failure ol
III the part of offenders to treat otl'
II Ars as they would be treated.
Courtesy, they believe, ar
X naught but courtesy, will prove a
affective cure for the accident cpl
demic, but in cases where polio
interference 10 necessary and jus
fifable, they state that they wi
n hack up the action of the author
ties to the limit
They express their convictio
hat first offenses should not com
in for full need Of punishment
but that warning should be give
against repetition. "Old timers
they affirm, should be fined !
much as the law will permit.
Must Dim Lights.
Glaring headlights coming at or
at the rate of 35 miles an hour an
more, with no disposition on ii
part Of motorists to dim the
lights. make autoing at night e:
uemely hazardous, and the clr
will lend its influence to put
stop to this practice.
Another offense, prevalent
this section of the country, is TIL
Of refusing to give the right-of-wf
70 faster moving vehicles
Voicing recent declarations
tho state association, Mississip
Motor club members say: The
II altogether too much ronghnec
+ hull-headed driving Of the moo
shine loaded variety for the good
II the majority which is compelled
N suffer for the shortcomings Of Il
few. Common horse sense cou
tesy is what this locality nee,
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1922-10-27

"Tanlac helped me back to good
health two years ago and I am still
feeling fine" recently said Mrs. Ma
bel I. Francis, highly esteemed res
ident of 62S S. Linwood Ave, Balti-
more, Maryland.
Before taking the medicine l
suffered from a nervous breakdown
and was in an awful condition. l
scarcely had strength and energy
to handle a broom and my house
work was drudgery to me.
THE first bottle Of Tanlac made
such 4 wonderful improvement in
my condition that l was both sur
prised and delighted. So l stuck
to it and a few bottles built me up
ten pounds and made me feel as if
| had <never>had sick day. My
health has been fine ever since"
NOTE-The International PropTieta-ies Co.,
distributors of Tanlac, have on file in their
offices at Atlanta, Georsia, over fifty thou
sand signed statements from Representa-
tive men and women fror, every State in
the Union and every Province Of Canada.
Many Of these are from prominent people
in this city and section and have been
previously published in this paper.
Tanlar Is sold BY all good druggists.
I--(Adyertisementl.
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1922-10-27

II you can't bring your classified adj
the ofYicr. telephone II to an ad tsker. 1t
costs no more.
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1922-10-27
Serves Travellers.
r. ~. xH;.oieaSnnt Mnf0r &

That the Mississippi Motor club
il serving the travelling public 10
demonstrated daily BY the number
Of telephone calls and persona
visits made to the headquarters N
the Chamber of Commerce rooms
on the second floor Of the State
Bank building. Inquiries by mail
In regard to the best routes are
often received, and the weekly
| bulletin on road conditions seems
Ito fiji q long felt need.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1922-04-17

Bishop of Cincinnati is spending sew
eral days with his aunt, Mrs. Emma
Dixon. Welfare society had very
enjoyable indoor picnic at Castle Hall.
A very rare musical program was also
enjoyed by all present. Karl Weld
ner is suffering from a case of indiges-
ton. ;. Mr.. and Mrs. Charles Wenger
of Dayton spent Saturday and Sunday
with Mr.. and Mrs. James Potterf. -.
Mr.. and Mrs. Harry Potterf spent
Thursday at Grandview farm. -. Ben
Vernon was reminded Sunday that he
had passed another milestone when on
returning from church he found a
large circle of friends with well filled
baskets to help make merry. After
a six months stay with her daughter,
Mrs. ]. O. Mann, Grandmother Beasley
has again returned to her old home
with Mr. and Mrs. r. V. Locke. 49,.
Aaron, Mary and Roy Weidner and
Miss Della Keplar and Mr.. and Mrs.
James Coffman and Jennie Weidner
were entertained Sunday at the Weld.
ner-Kerns home. :. +. Mr.. and Mrs. John
Benhem entertained Monday the for
mer's brothers family. Mr.. and Mrs
Stephen Wysong and Mrs. Orval Eos
ter and children have returned to hel
home at Lewisburg. :. April 10th is
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1922-04-17

the Coliseum by the Musicians club
for the benefit of their sick fund. Eight
orchestras will play during the even
ing, each for 10 minute periods. A mu-
steal comedy and other features have
been arranged as part Of the entertain
ment. The grand march starts at $3.50
o'clock and at 9 o'clock dancing will
commence. Everyone is invited to at
tend. The balconies will be open to
spectators.
A card and dancing party will be
given at st. Mary's hall Tuesday even
ing by the Confraternity of ST. Mary's
church. The Evan Smith orchestra
will play for the dance, which will fol-
low cards. The public is invited.
The Easter dance of the Richmond
Division Athletic Association of Penn
sylvania employees will be held at the
l. .. o. F. hall Tuesday evening. The
Evan Smith orchestra will play the or
der of dances.
The Delta Theta Tau sorority will
meet at 7:30 o'clock Tuesday evening
in the Omicron Pi Sigma roms at the
K of P. temple.
Staff members and officers of Ca
lanthe temple. Pythian Sisters, will
drill at 7:3O o'clock Monday evening in
the knights of Pythias temple.
A public card party will be given in
the old K. of c. hall Monday evening
by the Ladies' auxiliary of Faith Stal
lodge, B. R. c. of A. An open meeting
at which local officers of the Ameri
can Federation of Labor will SPEAK
will be held preceding the card party
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1922-04-17

Connersville, where she spent several
days with Mrs. Sarah Waltz. The
primary department of the Christian
Sunday-school will hold May festi-
val at the church, about the first of
the month. The Garden club will
meet Monday night at the home of
Mrs. Florence Abbott. Mrs Phoebe
Rinehart spent Tuesday at Connersville
at the home of her son, Jesse Rine-
hart. The Ladies' Aid society Of
the Christian church will meet at the
home of Mrs. William White Tuesday
afternoon. :. Mr.. and Mrs. C. W.
Chadwick will move from the M. E..
parsonage to the residence on Pearl
street recently vacated by Mr.. and
Mrs. Kent Lemen. -. Rev. and Mrs.
S. H. Caylor will move here from
Willow Branch, and Rev. Caylor, who
succeeds Rev. Chadwick as pastor or
the NJ E. church, will deliver his first
sermon Sunday :. Rev. B. A. Hartley
delivered an Easter sermon at the
Christian church Sunday morning at
1890, and special Easter music was
rendered. .Vena Miller was married
TO Clarence Hewitt, at Richmond, We'd
nesday of last week. They will live
of the brides mother, Mrs. Joe Ben
bow, on West River pike. Miss
Margaret Cutter was married to Leo
Hastings Wednesday, at the home OF
Elder and Mrs. Oscar Working. Elder
!. Working officiating. The bride is the
daughter of Mr.. and Mrs. Louis Cut
ter. living north of Cambridge City
and the bridegroom is the son of Mr.
Iac
brides parents were present at the
marriage. They will make their nome
for the present with the bridegroom
parents. Mrs. Mary Walker is in &
: serious condition with paralysis, a
! the home of her son, T. 5. Walker
-. Miss Minnie Heaston has returned
from three weeks visit at DaleVllle
Oakville and Muncie.
!. MIDDLEBORO, Ind. - The Ladies
! Aid met Thursday to discuss the salt
i to be given Thursday at Abijah Pyle
: Dinner is to be served at H. 80 prompt
t ly. d. Mr. and Mrs. K. D. Kofield enter
/. tanned Sunday Mr.. and Mrs. Harr.
: Shank, Mr. and Mrs. Walter Moore ant
2 family of Richmond, Mr. and Mrs
3 Omer Clark and family of Fountain
4 City and DR.. Frank Cofield and famil.
e of Newcastle. :. Mr.. Sherman kauch
+ er and family Of Richmonr entertaine'
t Sunday Will Hansbarger, Miss Chris
). tina Oswald and Mrs. Garrett Smit
F. and son Paul. $. Mr.. and Mrs. Co
Y Zurwell and Miss Edna Zurwell Q
d Richmond and Mr.. and Mrs. Carl Cate
d were Wednesday evening guests of MI
r and Mrs. Howard Jeffries. :. Mr.. an
y Mrs. Morrison Pyle of Richmond wer
0 Wednesday afternoon guests of MI
r and Mrs. Donald Baynes. Mrs. Mar
{. Pemberton spent Thursday night an
e Friday with relatives in Richmond. !.
s Mrs. Oscar Hawkins called Thursda
morning on Mrs. Mollie Vansant. !.
{ Mr.. and Mrs. York Little entertaine
:, Sunday at their home in Richmon
II Mr.. and Mrs. Alistins Little of thi
e place and Mr.. and Mrs. Artie Tcafor
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1922-04-17

of near New Paris -. Mr.. and Mrs.
Dan Wilkinson and family moved FRI
day from the Harry lands property to
Newcastle. Ralph Lands and wife will
locate there in his place. !. Mr.. and
Mrs. Russell Clark and Mrs. Ralph
Roll were guests Wednesday of Mr..
and Mrs. Joe Reid. Mr.. and Mrs.
Pleasant Seaney spent Monday eve
ming with Mr.. and Mrs. T. ]. Addle-
man. ;. Mr.. and Mrs. William Conkle
and family and Mr.. and Mrs. Cyril HI
att and family of Centerville were
guests Sunday of Mr.. and Mrs. Will
Wessler. Mr.. and Mrs. Lloyd Pyle
of Fountain City and Mr.. and Mrs. Wal
ter Brumfield of near Webster were
guests Thursday afternoon of Mr.. and
Mrs. Donald Baynes. :. Mrs. Cathern
Townsend of Richmond spent Thurs
day afternoon with Mr.. and Mrs.
Charley Townsend and daughter Inez.
-. Miss Alice Ross spent the past
week in Lynn with Mrs. Grover Miller.
-. Mr.. and Mrs. Will Wessler spent
Thursday in Richmond with Mrs. Mary
Davis. Mrs. Floyd Began of Rich
! ond was a Thursday afternoon guest
of Mr.. and Mrs. Charley Townsend.
| ANTIOCH, Ohio. Mr.. and Mrs
Earl Mehaffey are spending the week
end with the formers parents. of Yer
ona. C. A. Kerns and grandson
Robert Weidner, spent Saturday ano
| Sunday with Tom Kerns and family
| of Sevenmile. :. Miss Helen Weidnel
went to Richmond Tuesday to begin
work in the shipping department Of
the Atlas factory. She is residing a
| the Wilmer club house. Charles
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1922-04-17
Suburban

CAMBRIDGE CITY, Ind. - Cam
bridge City Chapter No. 9. Royal Arch
Masons, conferred the Royal Arch de-
gree Friday, Marcn IA. E1ihu Mills
has returned from Martinsville and is
but slightly improved. :. (. Mr.. and Mrs.
John r. Rummel of Logansport are
here visiting his sister, Mrs. Charles
Hockett. !. Mr.. and Mrs. A. Pusinelli
and daughter, Katherine, left Thurs
day night for Topeka, Kan, to visit
John Pusinelli and family. $500. Mrs.
Mary Huddleston has sold her prop
erty on East church street to Horace
Ried. Mrs. Ruth Weaver is taking
the enumeration of school children in
the city and Miss Alice Kepler in the
country. =. Services at the First Pres
byterian church Sunday afternoon at
I3 O'Clock with special music. Mrs.
Carrie Weaver Waddell will play.
Harry Campbell has bought the City
| Restaurant from his son, William and
will continue the business. Mr.. and
Mrs. Horace Owens have had as their
guests this week Mr. and Mrs. F. Seay
of Indianapolis Mrs. Mary Munto
has returned from spending the winter
with her sister in Connersville.
moved to Richmond. :. The knights
of Pythias conferred third rank work
on three candidates Thursday. The
Pocahontas will have work April 20,
and pot-luck supper. :. There will
be subscription dance at the Masonic
| temple Thursday evening, April 20. $.
Lee Ault has been i'll. !. The Chris
| tian Science society holds meetings
every Sunday at 1914 a. m. Wednes-
day evening testimonial meeting at
1880, at 225 West Church street The
public is cordially invited. The La
dies Aid of the First Christian church
will hold meeting at the church all
day next Wednesday,. -. The First
Christian church sent 63 dozen cook.
les to the Christian home for the or
phans and aged at st. Louis, Mo.
! HAGERSTOWN, Ind.-Mrs. Clar-