Mountain advocate., 1922-08-11
THE MoUNTAINEER
OF THE NOVEL

the outsider, except that they are
the home Of men and women who
have a constitutional distrust for
strangers and whose chief occupa-
tion is in raising children and
"houn dawgs" and nj making Illicit
"cawn liker" by an ancestral receipt
which gives to the moonshine pro-
duct a special delicacy, highly ap-
proved of by conniseurs.
The mountaineer of the novel is
long and lank. Taciturnity is his
middle name and a long gun OF
ancient vintage his invariable COM
panion. His chief sport, apart from
cultivating Sampsonian locks, is
sQuatting behind a boulder, draw
a bead on a half-witted "revenoo"
officer disguised as a railroad engi-
neer and forwarding said bead to
the spot which will most quickly
crumple up the minion of the law;
or moving silently yet alertly and
with all the caution Of an Indian
to a particular point OF vantage. he
puts a full stop into . carefree indi-
yidual belonging to a clan which.
like himself, finds life dull and tame
unless shooting at an enemy or be-
ing shot at. After the funeral these
vfrile men do some extra fine stalk
ing and potting until Cupid plays
a Joke and the beautiful, dialctic
daughter Of one clan falls head over
heels (if we may so speak Of LADY,
in love with proud, brave and ex-
tremely handsome male person own
ing kith and kin to parties of the
second part. Generally a split rail
fence which has been inadvertently
placed on a portion Of the dividing
line, amply described in the deed
as bounded on the east by a black
oak and on the south by a dogwood,
has led to the disagreement. The
lovers feel that the human sacrifice
has proceeded far enough and the
beautiful, dialectic daughter and the
proud, brave, extremely handsome
male person thereupon dramatical-
ly knock the props out OF both the
fence and the personal soffence' by
Joining hands and hearts and insist
ing that their bellicose tne-men do
the same, which is a sign for the
silent, high-strung, yet God-fearing
mountaineers to tip a few slugs Of
moonshine down their hard-boiled
throats, take a chaw Of each others
"terbaccer" and form a combine
having for it's object the funerals of
more "revenoo" men.
Fortunes have been made by the
writer's of such fiction and much
harm has been done in creating the
idea that the only way to avoid in
slant death is to stay in the Blue
Grass and permit the mountaineers
to exterminate themselves.
Singularly enough they are dis
mally failing at determination. On
the contrary, the mountaineer con-
tinues to grow in numbers until his
political foes wonder when he will
stop filling the ballot box with such
an embarrassing increase In unrel-
ished votes. Then, too, the noun
taineer, in spite of the fact that
most of his time is spent stalking,
is somehow sowing and reaping from
his valleys and hillsides, Is somehow
finding time to dig queer looking
holes in the hillsides from which he
draws coal Of splendid quality, leav-
ing his gun of ancient vintage at
home until one who sees thru his
own eyes is inclined to the naughty
thought that the average novelist,
who writes the average mountain
novel knows as much about the aver
age mountaineer as he does as to
whether dipping or sprinkling is the
accepted mode among those inter-
esting insects. the doodlebugs.
Occasionally, of course, they may
shoot each other in the Mountains,
(non-anatomically speakihg) but
they also shoot each other in the
Blue Grass section, the Pennyroyal
and Purchase. II is a regrettable
habit, contrary both to the law and
the profit. except to the lawyers. but
Why lay it all on the mountaineer
when writing netion