The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1922-10-24

queer animals.
Frost upon the pumpkin
Meaning pie, pie, pie,
Is frost upon the garden sass,
Meaning buy, buy, buy.
The Paris boy who starts out in
life with gloves and a cane is apt to
wind up with one suspender and no
seat in his trousers.
Should you happen to be seated
between a doctor and a lawyer, you
are in very dangerous position
for it is either your money or your
life!
Beware of the man who returns
your borrowed umbrella promptly
more than likely he is looking for a
chance to do you in some other way,
probably touch you for flyer or a
tenner.
When a woman once pins her
faith to a certain doctor no machine
was ever invented strong enough to
remove it, though he be the Grand
Mogul of Scallawags of the Uni
verse!
In 1921 there were 49S barrels of
whisky in Bourbon county, valued
at s29,SO0. This whisky has since
been moved out of the county. And
since then the crop of illicit stills
and stillers seems to be on the in
crease.
Many men have complained that
life was so short that no one man
could acquire accurate knowledge of
many things. But doubtless this is
well. 1t makes it necessary for
every man to depend upon other
men, and create general partner
ship otherwise impossible.
The Buffalo plan of dealing with
motorists who drive when drunk is
to fine them only 81, at the same
time putting them in Jail ten days
and revoking their license. That is
putting the right man off-of the
streets-at Buffalo. The plan could
be tried in Paris, KY, with good re-
suits.
Sinclair Lewis, who has written a
novel in which he pans" city folks.
knows that small towns are great
markets for novels, and that after
having devoured Main Street" with
o wry face, the small-town reader
will go to "Babbitt" as if it were a
Sam Clay highball in a cut glass
container.
The Mayor of a nearby Kentucky
town was somewhat puzzled recent
ly to know whether prominent
citizen was drunk or "only had
Jesus Christ in his SOUL" as was
urged by some of his dear breth-
rem, so he gave him the benefit of
religious doubt, and fined him only
one cent and costs, ''for Jesus
Sake" sKI
Henry Santen, of the Power Gro
Gerry Co.. while working his trade in
one of the mountain counties re-
Gently met a fellow-traveling man,
who accepted his invitation to &C
company him to a restaurant for
Chow" Santen ordered a substan-
tial repast, while his friend ordered
milk toast. whats the matter, fell
low" asked Santen, "Are you on
diet?" NO." replied his friend,
working on commission"
There have been revivals where
cue VI oAAACAS hoNO lCPSASSA
and embraced the faith, but 1T re-
mains for a Cynthiana church to
break the record. 1t is recorded
that at the Christian church there
three Millions were added to the
regation-Thomas ]. Million,
Mrs. Million and Miss Million.
We suppose the reason the aver
age preacher prays for the Presi-
dent, the Governor, the Mayor and
the missionaries and overlooks the
newspaper man, regardless of the
fact that the newspaper man gets
more anonymous letters in week
than all the rest of them put to-
gether, is that he thinks the Lord
will have His hands full with the
folks he's mentioned without ask
ing Him to do anything for the
naWSnanor man