davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-03-25
IN HOTEL HOBBIES
 AND ELSEWHERE
A NOTABLE DAY

Tt looks as if Wednesday, the twentysixth of April, is going to be gala day in Birming ham," said Col. T. 0. Smith, flor on that day, which to begin with is holiday, the Birmingham Trust and Savings company is ar ranging to occupy it's new and commodious building and Gall-Curci, the great soprano, is to sing here on the evening of the twenty sixth for the first time.
 "The officials of the bank delighted at the prospect of getting into our new quarters for we feel that we will have one of the most complete bank buildings in the south. Ar outstanding feature of the building is the beautiful Alabama marble of which it is con- structed; it is from new marble quarry recently opened near Sylacauga and the stone in the Birmingham Trust and Savings company is the first that has been used. It is of very fine texture and quality and lends itself eff fectively to such a building"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-03-25
WAR ON DISORDERLY HOUSES
 IN BIRMINGHAM

Commissioner Cloe's campaign to close up disorderly houses in Birmingham will be watched with interest, because it is an exper- ment that has been tried at frequent inter- vals ever since the human race began to live in houses.
 While few people have the courage to de- fend fred light" district, it is nevertheless true that questionable resorts have sprung up in many parts of Birmingham since the segre gated district was abolished and it is no easy task to put them out of business. The burden of proof rests on the police department and judging from recent fought in court, it takes strong evidence to show when rooming house ceases to be that and becomes some thing else.
 There is probably no more bootlegging and prostitution in Birmingham than in any other city of it's size On the contrary, Birmingham is better morally than number of other south ern cities, particularly the coast cities, but both of these evils exist here and the police department deserves eommendation for try ing to suppress them far possible.
 Unceasng vigilance is better, however, than sporadic drives" which sometimes result Tn injustice to women in the less exclusive parts of town who are conducting boarding houses. All of these places are not bad, yet house of bad repute may be right next door to that is not. In case like that neighbors can do more than the police to get evidence that will close up resort. This may look like med ding, and spying ones neighbors is not as a rule a commendable practice, but these con alterations should heve weight when the head of family is compelled to protect his wife and children from contamination.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-03-25
IT WAS POTENT STUFF

From the Kansas City Times.
 Jones had been troubled with insomnia. He tried several alleged cures without success. One day he told his trouble to his friend, Brown.
 "Why, I know the very thing for you," Brown said, after Jones had concluded. "Meet me to- night. have some stuff out home which will fix you up in no time."
 That night the two met, and Brown handed Jones bottle filled with murky white liquid. instructing his friend to take 'good drinko before going to bed.
 "That will make you sleep if anything can,' he said.
 Two days later the two met again on the street.
 How was that stuff I gave you to cure your insomnia? Was it any good?" Brown asked.
 "Good?" replied Jones. 'T should say it was. Listen here! I took it as you suggested and went to sleep soon after retiring. Then a.. friend with his head under his arm came along and asked me if I wanted to buy his feet. I was bargaining with him when the dragon which I riding slipped it's skin, and left me floating in mid-air.
 While l was considering how 1 should get down, bull with two heads peered over the edge of wall, and said he would haul be up if I would first climb up and fix windass for him. So as I was sliding down the mountain, the inspector came in, and asked him when the train would reach my station.
 "'We passed your station 200 years ago. he answered, calmly folding the train up and slipping it in his waistcoat pocket. At this ment woke up and found that I had been asleep 10 minutes"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-03-25

A burglar who was caught carrying a violin case filled with the tools of his trade might not have been molested if he had worn long hair and a soulful look.
 x x The Senate agricultural committee doesn't propose to listen to any southern oratory while visiting Muscle Shoals. This is not, strictly speaking self-denal. It may longer be safe to take chew of tobacco and spit promiscuousy in Des Lacs, N. D., where women carried an election by 2 to 1.
 Mir. Dempsey says fighting is his business. The temptation just here to work in the ship yard wheeze is almost irresistible.
 X < It's great pity the "forty-niners" couldnt t visualize the Chicago Grand Opera company crossing the plains to California.
 < < There's nothing sadder in life than father sitting at home trying to feed the baby while mothers on the jury.
 < < < London is backward in taking to the movies, but some time within the next century will be completely over.
  Another drop in the German mark is re- ported. How much farther can it go without becoming invisible?
 < * Until recently a ''bottled-in- bond' label works was not listed among Savannahs lead ing industries.
  The flapper who smokes cigarettes to match her gown has reached the seventh heaven of flapperdom.
 * Everywhere the democratic executive com mttee looks it sees gorgeous rainbow.
 X < The House is rid of the bonus bill, but will never be able to wash it's hands.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-03-25
INLAND WATERWAYS ENTITLED
 TO THROUGH RATES

There is no sound reason against treating inland waterways as common carriers with all the rights to interchange of freight with other common carriers fair proportion of the joint rate, according to service rendered. It would seem to the casual observer that there could be no question about this.
 Rail carriers have joint rates with the steamships in the coastal service There are joint rates between New York and Birming- ham via Savannah, Brunswick and Charleston. A shipper anywhere in the country may route his freight via these coastal routes in connec- tion with. the rail carriers Why should the inland waterways be denied through routings and joint through traffic with rail carriers, no matter where the shipment emanates or where it goes?
 Mississippi and Warrior river transportation interests have presented the claim of the in- land waterways for this right during the past week before examiner of the interstate com- merce commission. How the examiner can fail to report favorably on so just claim it is diff ficult for the unprejudiced mind to conceive.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-03-25
ADMITS BEING SCARED

Was I ever scared? Once, anyway" said John W. Porter. q coming back from Monterey, Mex, last year, after visiting there on business errand.
 Tt o'clock in the morning. The train was far out on the plains, remote from any where, it seemed to me, when it stopped. There was rifle shot, then another and then 40 to 50, maybe several hundred I tucked my wad of money in my hat band and got down as far in my berth as possible. Nothing hap pened. We moved on.
 "0ne of the trainmen came through the sleeper. I asked him what had happened Nothing was his reply. He said the soldier guards had a habit of firing rifles that way whenever they felt like it. It was fun for them but not for me as lay there imagining Villa and his cohorts burning, staying and pill laging"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-03-25
POINTED PARAGRAPHS
Chicago News.

From the Chicago News.
 Between two evils many of us choose both. A little money is a dangerous thing at auction sale.
 If all our wishes were gratified how poor we should be!
 Differences of opinion, however, do not change the facts in the
 Your faith is not measured by your appre- citation of the faults of others
 He who does not preach with what he is will never persuade with what he says.
 There is not much demand for people with abnormal nerve, except as book agents.
 Some have a hard time picking out car for heaven because all the lower berths seem to be taken.
 The man who sets out to learn how to make lot of money does we'll to learn how not to lose it.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-03-25
RELATION OF NEGROES TO
 THE COTTON CROP

In an editorial on "Cotton and the Laborer,' Financial America attributes the reduction in the size of the souths cotton crop in part to the negro exodus to northern states. This will call forth protests from advocates of diversi- fled farming who have been trying for years to get the southern farmer to grow less cot ton and more food crops. Their campaign is at last getting results and has started new era in southern agriculture which will in time was under the one-crop system
 Financial America says, Loss of negro population in the war period has been one of the factors resulting in decreased cotton pro- duction. It has deprived the planter of an
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-03-25
JUNIOR CHAMBER RENDERS
 A CIVIC SERVICE

The Junior Chamber of Commerce is to be congratulated for the manner in which it has brought to the public attention the important question of civic government. The committee which handled this matter secured data from many cities and had mass of material from . which to compile a report that was very in sstructive and one with which citizens of Bir- mingham should become familiar.
 : Whatever else results from the action of the junior chamber in conducting this inves- tigation and starting a movement for the form of government which they believe is the best it has been good mental exercise for these young men. They better citizens of Birmingham for having taken the time and . trouble to look into this question. A citizen should know how he is governed, how other cities are governed and what different cities think of their form of government.
 The junior chamber has educated itself and has helped educate the city of Birmingham This does not mean that its findings are com polling or that Birmingham is going to make a change in her city government result of the chambers action. It does, however, sig nifty active and intelligent interest in the pub lie welfare
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-03-25
CRASHING AN OPPORTUNITY

Where are you going in such hurry?" asked Mrs. Bibbles
 "over to John Jagsby's house. said Mir. Bibbles. ''He has just telephoned to ask if I could lend him corkscrew and Pm taking it myself"
 Couldn't you send it?"
 'Mrs Bibbles," said MT. Bibbles. in ,.cutting tones, 'the question you asked shows why most women unfit to lead armies and make quick decisions in business deals involving mil lions. When the psychological moment arrives they don't know what to do with it.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-03-25
FUTURE SUMMER RESORT

"The region on the Warrior river near Lock IT will one day be the greatest summer resort in the state," said W. V M. Robertson, Jr. "I have just spent day down there and l am struck with the beauty of the place.
 "There are facilities offered for every var- ety of sport, including fishing and hunting. I predict that in few more years there will be summer hotels erected and other inducements offered in the way of golf and horseback rid ing The charm of the place at this time of year is almost beyond the powers of descrip- tion. The Community club and the Hunters and Fishermen's associations wise in erect ing their clubhouse down there"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-03-25
OPPONENTS OF FOUR-POWER
 TREATY ARE DEFEATED

Ratification of the four-power treaty in the Senate means that the first and most important battle has been won to perpetuate the work of the arms conference. The vote was CT to 27, four than the necessary two-thirds.
 The "rreconcilables' fought hard to the last, trying by every expedient at their com mand to make shipwrecks of the treaty, but they failed signaly. All amendments and res ervations were voted down, with the exception of the mo alliance" declaration which is a sop to more timorous statesmen and has met with the approval of President Harding.
 This declaration reads, "The United States understands that under the statement in the preamble under the terms of this treaty, there is no commitment to armed force no alliance, no obligation to join in any defense" That to the ground fully and should aay the fears of alarmists who picture the United States fighting with Japan against Russia, or drawn into some other war as a result of the four-power agreement
 The way is now clear to make short work of
 
 ence. The strongest opposition that can be developed was thrown into the fight against the four-power treaty. It is the most inn portant of the agreements made by the Amer ican delegates and drew most of the fire ,f the "irreconcilables."
 MT. Hughes great victory for world peace and a better understanding among na- tions during the conference, but the fruits of that victory hung in the balance until yester- day, although it believed that the treaty would be ratified by narrow margin The Senate by its vote has made amends for the disgraceful wrangle over the Versailles treaty and by it's action reassuring foreign govern ments who were beginning to wonder if any agreement entered into by President of the United States his representatives could bs made binding.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-03-25
VEIL ENJOYS FLORIDA TRIP

Mrs. Well and myself certainly did enjoy our trip to Florida said Ben Veil who is again at the Tutwiler where he makes his home. Nothing could be more pleasant than the climate of Florida at the height of the winter season when so many thousands of peo- pie from all the country visit the land of flowers. The state has such wonderful roads that automobiling is delight"
 "It also interesting to meet quite a number of Birmingham friends in various parts of the state. Birmingham seems to be well represented these days wherever a man goes In spite of that fact, however, you will always find that the real Birmingham citizen, although he may like to visit other places, is always glad to get back home"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-03-25
BEES, BUGS AND HOME BREWERS

From the New York World.
 How doth the little busy bee? If we stand by Dr. Watts, good gray poet of thrift, he i'm proves each shining hour by gathering honey all the day from every opening flower.' If we accept the assurances of Professor Linduer. German biologist, honey is not the most consd ersble of the loads gathered in his daily wan derings Along with his burden of sweetness he acquires jag of impressive completeness. Nor is the bee alone in this particular. He shares the fruits of conyiviaity with the June bug, the tumble bug and others of natures lit tie rambers.
 College youth, it appears from this worc of the professor, may be quite to the point when 1t sings that it is beetle and June bag and that it can fly and bump it's head against be sky. The bee itself bu2zes loudest when 1t is most befudded. The conclusion is stricGly sci entific. How shall we, being ever so inclined to dryness, dispose by penal code of the ex- ample set in the terms of natural history?
 By coincidence. Professor Lindner's lecture was reported yesterday along with Colonel Hay wards statement, as United States district at torney, that in the use of liquors sold in de- fiance of law the chances of 49 to I against the drinkers getting something harmless Where the illicit stills do not blow up, says the colonels assistant, MT. Garfield they turn out either stuff that is 'noxious, innutritious and deleterious' wood-alcohol compounds that are deadly.
 Natures own sumptuary laws are superior in their working to the best-ad schemes of the Anti-Saoon league The bootleg product may be 9s per cent bad. But the bee and the June bug get theirs at least 99.9 per cent pure.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-03-25
FOR ALDERMANIC FORM

Me for the old-fashioned aldermanic form of city government" said William Tinker. "You cant get anything out of this commis- sion business. The general manager plan IS too autocratic. It gives too much power tq an individual.
 'I want an alderman from my ward, to whom I can go and point out bad alley iii my vicinity or the manner in which trash is handled. It used to be that way and every neighborhood had friend at court. Now you can't get anywhere and don't want further departure from representative government"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-03-25
GOOD FEELING IN MISSISSIPPI

When I was over in Jackson, Miss. the other day, my former fellow citizens gave me "a great reception" said Arthur c. Crowder, who in other days was mayor of the Mississippi capital city. q returned to Birmingham more of an optimist than ever simply as a result of talking to my old friends in Jackson The farmers in the hill sections of Mississippi are not nearly in bad shape has been repre- sented, They owe hardly any money. Every one is confident that things are on the de- cided upturn.
 Speaking of owing money, however, the Delta section of the state has probably been the chief sufferer. I was jokingly told that the planter in that section who did not owe as much as s200 00o was piker.'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-03-25
CHINESE RIVER PIRATES

From "A Fortnight Cargo Boat" by Will
 liam L. Hall in Asia Magazine
 The cargo boat had just pulled one of the hardest rapids and was creeping along the bank. I was out on shore. Our trackers were ready to come on board for food before try ing the hardest rapid in the river. Their bowls of steaming rice and vegetables were waiting A hum of contentment rose. Soon chopstcks were flying and food was disappearing scream of agony and warning reached us from across the river. Our captain yelled an order to the men. Throwing bowls in every direc ton, they sprang to the oars The officer ton. He gave an order and they inserted cartridge clips into the guns. Calling to some ferrymen, he bade them come alongside. Soon the officer and 25 men speeding out towards the middle of the river. We followed at a slower pace.
 sandspit reaching far out into the water, marked the upper edge of the eddy on the side to which we were going For period varying from 10 to 30 minutes, after drifting in below the spit, boat is practically helpless. The men who row are short of breath after the hard pull and the long bamboo cables must be drawn slowly from the coils. The thread boat that captain watches so solicitousy was lying in the still water just below the point of sand Men clamberng all over her deck. Still others, shore, were waving their arms as if urging some one forward. The the much-dreaded river pirates, and companion boat was in their hands.
 When we struck the main channel near the middle of the river, the current careened our boat and our large flag, which had taken care to affix to the mast early in the morning, could be from the other side Instnatly, all the forces being exerted on the far shore changed directio. Down from the captive boat pushed and tumbled half hundred men, some with guns and others unarmed. Up the steep hsides they ran like wild goats until, when our boat had drfted in, we saw them on the very top of the cliffs, silhouettes against the leaden sky. From the cefts in the rocNs peered their turbaned heads, and the bamboo clumps were flecked with the blue of their clothing. Up the slopes they crept, all intent on slipping away from the scene of action. When we asked for the reason for the rapid exit of men with such repute for bravery, all fingers pointed toward Old Glory and as with one voice arose the cry 'The flag! The flag"' When the flag had burst into view as boat turned, the leader of the band screamed to his mem Great America! Great America Run Runw And they ran
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-03-25

While Lord Northcliffe was viewing with alarm in distant parts of the world his London Daily Mail reached circulation of more than 1,50O,Oo0. The hands evidently don't lie down on the job when his ludship is away.
 x
 It is estimated that Uncle Sam's stenograph- CTS spend $6,000,000 worth of his time every year in "dollng up' And being wise old gentleman, Uncle Sam isn't going to do thing about it.
 X
 Scientists have set out to look for the pre- historic monster in Patagonia armed with ele- phant rifles and lassoes. They may use the lassoes, but we doubt it.
 x < <
 A young woman who sued man for S5000 in breach of promise suit was awarded $l. Things are looking up for the hunted male.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-03-25
TRAVELLERS INVITED

Any travelling in Birmingham is n- vited to attend the weekly luncheons of the Travellers Protective association" said W. II. Mabry, secretary of the association. "This association does not limit the attendance at the luncheon to members only, but invites every travelling man in the city.
 "We hope to get the who travel ous of Birmingham together and get them into the habit of talking Birmingham. Much ;yeod can be accomplished by this and we are going after it with vim"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-03-25
THE MILkMAID

By Austin Dobson. Across the grass I see her pass; She comes with tripping pace, A maid I know,-and March winds blow Her hair across her face;-
 With hey, Dolly! ho, Dolly!
 Dolly shall be mine,
 Before the spray is white with May,
 Or blooms the eglantine. The March winds blow. I watch her go: Her eye is brown and clear; Her cheek is brown, and soft as down. Gro those who see it nearD- With hey, Dolly! ho, Dolly!
 Dolly shall be mine,
 Before the spray is white with May,
 Or blooms the eglantine What has she not that those have got,- The danes that walk in silk. If she undo her 'kerchief blue Her neck is white as milk,
 With hey, Dolly ho, Dolly!
 Dolly shall be mine,
 Before the spray is white with May,
 Or blooms the eglantine. Let thos ewho will be proud and chilli For me, from June to June, My Doly's words are sweet as curds- Her laugh is like tune;-
 With hey, Dolly! ho, Dollyl
 Dolly shall be mine.
 Before the spray is white with May,
 Or blooms the eglantiae. Break, break to her. o cvocus-spear! o tall Leat-,lies flame. There'll be bride at Easter-tide, And Dolly is her name.
 With hey, Dolly! ho, Dolly
 Dolly shall be mine,
 Before the spray is white with MaTs
 Or blooms the eglantins-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-03-25
GRAB A HOE

Though poets lit their lays of spring In glad abandon, A Tyre is not useful thing
 To lay hand on When grass is sprouting riotously The task to harden, And now's the time, experts agree, To start a garden.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-03-25
TRICKS IN ALL TRADES

Got trunk full of pretty good stuff from Miami the other day" remarked the prosper ous bootlegger.
 Didn't you run some risk of having that trunk confiscated by dry agents?"
 Not bit. I tied lot of blue ribbon to it and couple of old shoes"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-03-25
A CITIZEN OF MEANS

Whats become of the village blacksmith He's operating motor repair shop now" q don't suppose he sings in the village choir any more?"
 "No." He's joined a country club and plays golf on Sundays
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-03-25
HAZARDS OF TRAVEL

Do you get much pleasure out of motor touring?"
 "No,' said Mr Gadspur There is more personal responsibility involved in studying a road map than a railroad time table. Even when you get on the wrong train you are pretty certain to be gon gsomewhere."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-03-25
FATE OF AN OLD FoGY

What's become of old man Soggsby, who used to be in the drug business?"
 He couldn't keep up with the times and was forced to the wall.'
 "Eh?"
 "He maintained to the last that it was the business of druggist to sell drugs"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-03-25
LETTING HIM IN

"Well, well, young gentlemenr' exclaimed the affable old person. "I'd give great deal to be able to join in your sport"
 Stick around, grandpop," said one sturdy
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-03-25
WONDERS OF SCIENCE

"A poet can find inspiration in anything. "Yes?" Jim Riley wrote some lines to hop-toad. ' That's not so much. l know a scientist who has been writing steadily for 20 years on tad poles"
 pAIrI COOK