The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-05-26
ANDREW AND
 IMOGENE
By ROE FULI<ERsoN

What are yeu thinking about?' asked Imogens as she pulled her chair forward little more directly in front of the electric fan.
 Well" said Andrew. laying the paper in his lap. "I was just think ing how fortunate I am in many ways. The way I happened to be thinking about just then was that I was fortunate in having married you"
 "Really7s asked Imogene. with a pleased smile. What is 1t that makes you so pleased with me just now? What is 1t that I have done to make you so happy?"
 "It Is not virtue of commission, :" answered Andrew. Tt is virtue of omission. I was just sitting here thinking about how glad I was that you couldn't sing.
 If there is any man on earth I feel sorry for, 1t Is the man whose wife can sing.
 T believe if you took to drink l would be able to bear my cross with certain amount of fortitude; if you learned to smoke cigarettes I would pretend that thought 1t was the proper and sporty thing for you to do; if you took to gambling at bridge, would pay your losses and try to be brave, but by the great horn spoon. If you began to take vocal lessons and sing around peo- ple's parlors, where they are all hav- ing a good time, I would become a wifieide.
 aT da nn& h.Yta.,. n...os+.- a.u-1- ness or crime causes half as much real suffering in the world as women who think they have a voice.
 T have seen lots of perfectly good parties spoiled by having some woman go to the piano and cut loose on This Is the End of Perfect Day and prove it by ending all its per factions right there on the spot.
 'I have seen more husbands turn to drink who have to go up and turn music for their wives than from any other cause.
 Why any woman should think she can add to the gaiety of nations by getting up where a bunch of regular people are having a good time and singing The Miserere,' or TostPa Good Bye will be a mystery to me equaled only by such great mysteries as Who hit Billy PattersonY and How old was Ann?'
 Do you suppose there was ever a time in the history of the world when any one every really wanted to hear female parlor singer perform? Do you suppose the time will ever come when a woman with roll of music will not create as much of a panic at party as if she came with a pet sIunk7"
 ''No. I suppose not" answered Imo- gene. indifferentIy
 That's just what I thought when Tom McAdams came to my office this afternoon and said his wife was having a. few people to the house to hear his daughter sing. and wanted Us to come. I told him I thought you had an engagement and :"
 Imogene left her seat and went to the phone Main 704," she said. Then, after moment q would like to sneak to Mrs. McAdams. please" Another short wait, Hello dear" she said affably. Do you know that Andrew just told me about your party7 I did have another engage ment, but of course will break it with pleasure to hear your daughter sing. Andrew. too, Is just crazy over her voice. Yes. you may depend upon us. About S:30, then; goodbye"
 She turned and looked at him de- fiantly for a moment. and he rose, joint by joint. and said sadly:
 T suppose I have to get dressed"
 You certainly do," said Imogene, positively.
 Copyright, 1922. by 21st Century
 Press. Inc.)