The Washington herald., 1922-02-05

!
and Poles vote for America because
countries because England has the
biggest navy.
Other general proofs that Amer
lea has a higher percentage Of III
bred, unrefined louts are: America
has money. the very acquisition OF
this through any means except in-
heritance indicates American men
know more about economy than
the system, OF card dropping, and
our women folk are better acquaint-
ed with the kitchen shan with the
parlor; America also hasn't any
aristocracy and very few Ameri-
cans can trace their ancestry back
far enough to prove the least con-
vincing that Darwin was right.
No longer, however, does an
American have to feel any qualms
about possessing a monopoly on
any of these things, unless 1t is the
money. Throughout Europe polite
ness and courtesy Is manifested in
direct proportion to the economic
conditions, and goodness knows
what the economic situation Is.
Vienna is typical and stands out as
a glowing example in having once
been the seat Of social customs and
etiquette for all occasions.
Politely Formal.
Europe had been polite SO long
that politeness had been reduced to
the same inviolable formula that
law is in America, to the extent
that the original basis, considera-
tion for other people. has been lost
in the maze of confusion. The
American with his sincerity, which
! is in violation of all good usage
and IL reciprocated would necessi-
tate toning down Of European
expressions, is quite Incompetent
sible. Europe has used hyperboles.
quite meaningless with use. that
makes the American matter Of fact
statement seem queer and eccen-
tric, which even in America is the
pinnacle of social solecism. Quite
| frequently an American will be
suficiently i'll bred to remark that
the particular town in Europe In
which he happens to be isn't the
most delightful place, quaint or
gay or whatever atmosphere that
town affects, in the world. This
remark proves that the particular
unique charms of the place are lost
on a thick SIX kinned. unappreciative
lout who has no doubt become rich
raising pigs. One could so on this
way Indefinitely, but it is necessary
to get back to Vienna, which. ii
might be well to emphasize, has a
public life now consisting mostly
Of foreigners. just like New York
No Quarter Given.
Begin at the bank. Before lead
| ing banks had special reading
rooms for guests where they could
sit leisurely and wait their checks
to be cashed. Now the guests or
patrons or customers, or whatever
a bank has, rush pell NELL for
places, like so many hre depart
ments blowing sirens warning
everyone unless they get out of the
way there probably will be an ac-
cident. No stock exchange was
ever less considerate of other peo-
pies feelings as registered through
nerves from the ribs and toes. as
these mobs After watching the
skirmishing, the uninitiated learns
| IL is useless to try to wait ones
turn, there is no such thing, so he
must elbow and push and tramp
like the rest. leaving in his wake
a lot OF women and cripples and
other disabled bodied people fool
hardy enough to try to get a check
cashed One learns. too. that the
bank has changed it's clerks: this
man isn't the one you saw a year
ago who was so polite and nice;
this bird wants to know how much
money YOU have, hurry up, that's
all the exchange you get. there is
no time TO talk. This same san
| culinary rush characterizes the
check room scenes in every hotel,
cafe, or theater. There is no CIV
ing quarter. there are no naval
holidays in these mad. frantic hys
terical scramblings for position
Only the fittest survive and the
qualifications for being thus fit are
strong arms, a gruff voice and in
difference to the suffering of wom-
en- and children.
Hotel Clerks ResoIution.
Hotel clerks no longer give
tinker's continental who or what you
are. The place is full: you can
properly go hang. No it isn't his
business 10 recommend other hotels;
shift for yourself; lot Of people
find the gutter comfortable enough,
and you're no better than anybody
else.
Taxicab drivers. who struck recent
ly for a raise to 800 times what the
meter registered, and then, without
asking any one. raised the tariff TO
! 500 times meter rates, are indifferent
to your destination and your personal
feelings; you'll darned well pay him
what he says is right: it is your bust
ness to furnish him the address; you
are supposed to know the town.
If the food is cold, the water
warm. the waiter intimates it is
your fault. You should have jolly
we'll seen from the menu card that
everything has only one tempera-
ture.
Peep into the leading cafes. All. OBJ
serve that heavy joweled individual
whose spacious white bosom is cover
ed on contract by linen mills. whose
napkined throat and bulginG neck
with layers of skin plating over the
collar. and his manner of leaning over
his food as with skillful use of knife
he stokes macaroni into the cavern,
all compliment the fidelity of the
cartoonist! Yes. he makes his money
in valuta That fat. overly under
dressed female with that expensive
necklace and hands so weighted down
with rings and bracelets that the
flsbby muscles tauten when she raises
and lowers them. she is his wife. They
are the typical customers. There
isn't a table in sight where knives
and forks are employed with dis
elimination. OF are not straddled be-