Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1922-07-24

from the gods. have only once felt that it would
be heavenly to PROSTATE myself before poolroom
bootback and ask pardon for living. I have only
felt like fool-and that was when the doc
tor made me whisper 1-2-S and 49,
THE INCONSISTENCIES OF THE FREE.
An Irish Free State Army Chief married farm
ers daughter the other day. Now the question
arises, Is he any longer an army chief in a free
state?
INVOLUNTARY MARRIAGE IN KANSAS.
On July the ninth three troops of cavalry, one
machine gun company. and medical detachment
were ordered to Parsons.
Arthur de c. Sowerby. explorer and naturalist,
has been to Yenpingfu on the Min river in China.
1t is reported that he very rare birds in
that region. Next we invite him to Albuquerque.
o o o
GOOD DOPE ALL RIGHT.
Havelock Ellis, writing in the July issue of Ply
steal Culture, tells us that: Even among insects,
success in love affairs is only achieved by becom
ing an artist" In other words, girls. you must
learn to paint. Don't be dauber, be artist
that is if you want an insect.
0 .
A NINETEENTH AMENDMENT.
French court holds the opinion that only the
royal and the near royal are at liberty to fight
duels. We would favor congress passing law
that would allow the royal boys to stage few
good fights over here.
According to the Denver Post man shot him
self in his in hotel at Salt Lake City on
nor to the hotel mentioned. but have been sew
eral times in hotels where we were tempted to
shoot ourself
TOO BAD!
The United States Department of Agriculture
nounces that all chestnut trees east of the Missis
sippi will be wiped out by 1910. Where will the
eastern "Colyumist' get his chestnuts?
The Nashville Tennessean says that chronic
crouch never goes where he is told to go until he
dies. While that is true, he somehow gets it and
gives it to everybody Ground him until he dies
A news item informs that in certain
city got 80 days for stealing 80 cents worth of
ceries That is what a man gets for dabbling in
small affairs.
Sunset DER the Rio Grande falling,
Shadows creep along the mesa's crest.
WhppoorwiH in hidden canyon calling
Waiting for the hours that they love best,
softened gold and silver is the lining
OF the hills in purple rays of light.
Der the Sandals the moon is softly shining,
Its saffron beams melloWing the night.
Shepherds fires in the distance cleaning; ,
Auto lights across the roam .
No wonder the one gone East is dreaming
! OF Albuquerque the dear old Home Sweet Home.
YES. WHERE?
young named lizzie
Got himself very bizzie
And bought Lizzie. |
He stepped on the gas
As train started to pass
And now, ] ask you,
Whereizze?
After striking out eighteen men a pitcher broke
, his arm while pitching the last ball: If he had
thrown the last ball first that wouldn't have hap
pened to him.
In Japan courtesy requires that you pay trifle
more than your hotel bill calls for In this coun-
try you not do that, no matter how courteous
you are. The hotel clerk always guesses your pile.
Q o o
A Driverless Ford car failed to return home We
know the old Lizzie is very reliable but we didn't
| know she supposed to 60 home by herself.
Probably in this case she met Fordless driver.
WHAT'S IN A NAMEq
Kansas farmer named Hay chrisens his son
Timothy. Which reminds us that the healthiest
tenant Dooittle is going to try to the CONT
nent in airplane in day. If he succeeds,
Congress should reward him by changing his name.
o o
| The large Chicago hotels are conducting night
schools in English for their employees. You don't
hear of them doing this in New York English is
not used enough there to pay for learning it.
DAILY HEALTH HINT.
| It's not the cough
That carries you off
! But it's the coffin
| That they carry you off In.
| q y .
Man puts punch in his argument and is fined
$500. Any man who would waste punch in that
manner should be sent to the PEN
A fast train the Rock Island went In the ditch
the other day Anyone who has ever attempted to
travel over the Rock Island knows that fast train
has no business that road anyhow.
! Five thousand Tavern Steak is won by Great
Rose says local paper. judging from the price
Tread about. We don't know Rose but glad
the girl won it instead of having to pay for it.
For such consolation as it may be to the land
Ilubber who is far from the these days,
/ we will say that only about girl in q hundred
az the beach is curved like the magazines picture