davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Vashon Island news-record. [volume] (Vashon, Wash.) 1919-1954, 1922-01-13

diploma, Diploma, yo' come
right hyah, Diploma. The large
nanny who had come into the
store was calling to the inquiS,i.
tive little Piccanimy. The clerk
was interested.
What do you call that child
Mammy9" he asked.
"Ah calls hui Diploma, Nam
my answered.
That's funny name for a
child the clerk remarked, "why
do you call her Diplomat"
"Wcll,' Nanny explained,
"Yo' see all sent ma daughta off
to college fo' fo' yeahs and dis
hyah am what she brung back. +"
Vashon Island news-record. [volume] (Vashon, Wash.) 1919-1954, 1922-01-13
Not Enough Gas

John d. Rockefeller took n lit
tie girl in Cleveland to ride in
his car and, after she had com
fortably seated herslf, he asked
her, Where would you like to
goG"
sob, ! don't care" the little
miss replied. "Where do you
want to go?"
a." Mr.. Rockefeller replied
with a twinkle in his eyes, 81
want to go to heaven"
sob, Mr.. Rockefeller" the girl
exclaimed. 81 fear even you
haven't gasoline enough for that
trip"
Vashon Island news-record. [volume] (Vashon, Wash.) 1919-1954, 1922-01-13
EVERYDAY Hokum

Gas good as new"
Give minutes to the car line"
Bottled in bond"
"We'd love to have you call
again"
We've got something just as
good"
painless dentistry"
"Below cost. -
"When in hurry use the tcle-
phone"
"Three treatments make you
beautiful"
81 was too young to remember
that"
easy payments. +"
"We'd love to hear you sing"
"Tickets bought of spectators
not accepted
"Two can live cheaper than
one"
"Slightly used cars
"Today's weather."
Prohibition"
"Fresh every day"
Cheaper than paying rent"
Absolutely free"
"Bone dry" Chicago Herald
Examiner.
Vashon Island news-record. [volume] (Vashon, Wash.) 1919-1954, 1922-01-13
Amounts to the Same Thinp

lhe young grocery clerk in the
country village had married a
city girl. " A friend met Char
ieys father and said that he had
heard that Charley said his bride
was an angel. "Do you think she
lsYn ne asked the old man.
wal, | don't know eff she s
an angel" replied the old man,
but I'll tell yc one thing,
Henry, she's certainly durn
high flyer
Vashon Island news-record. [volume] (Vashon, Wash.) 1919-1954, 1922-01-13
What's the Use?

An old farmer and his wife
were standing before their pigsty
looking at their pig, when the old
lady said: "John, it will be our
silver wedding tomorrow. Let s
kill the pig"
John replied with disgust :
"What is the use of numbering
the poor pig for what happened
twenty-five years ago?"-Ex.
Vashon Island news-record. [volume] (Vashon, Wash.) 1919-1954, 1922-01-13
Giving Him a Name

She ransacked every novel,
And the dictionary, too.
But nothing ever printed
For her baby's name would do
She hunted appellations
From the present and the past,
And this is what she named him
When they christened him at
last:
Julian Harold Egbert
Ulysses Victor Paul
Algernon Marcus Cecil
Sylvester George McFall.
But after all the trouble
She'd taken for his sake
His father called him Buster
And his schoolmates called him
Jake.-New York Times.
Vashon Island news-record. [volume] (Vashon, Wash.) 1919-1954, 1922-01-13
Got His Just Dues

"Sir, your daughter has prom
iaed to become my wife"
"Well, don't come to me for
sympathy; you might know some
thing would happen to you, hang
ing around here five nights a
week. !"
Vashon Island news-record. [volume] (Vashon, Wash.) 1919-1954, 1922-01-13
How to Get It

The darkey preachers defmi-
ton of prayer might be taken to
heart by the newspaper solicitor.
eff asks the Lord to send me
turkey, He doesn't do it, but if
| asks the Lord to send me out
after a turkey, | always gets it. y
Vashon Island news-record. [volume] (Vashon, Wash.) 1919-1954, 1922-01-13
Pats Conversation

Pat was called into court to
testify to talk he had with the
defendent in civil suit, and
everything went along as swim.
mmgly as flock of bullfrogs UNI.
til the lawyer attempted to bring
out the important points of the
conversation.
Now, then, Pat" said he, Ell.
couragingly. "Please tell the
court what you and the defen-
dant talked about"
"Yis, sor, answered Pat, will
mgly. "We talked about fifteen
minutes.
Vashon Island news-record. [volume] (Vashon, Wash.) 1919-1954, 1922-01-13

Evolution CT the motorist: Buys
plain flivver; says it's all he can
afford. Trades it in for flivver
sedan. Is induced to buy a light
six touring car of another make.
Along comes cold weather. He
is invelgled into buying a win,
ter top. Thinks he needs more
room. Trades in light six for
heavy sedan. Is offered a good
trade if he will buy an cight-cyl-
inder sedan. Buys. Bank closes
in on him. Buys plain fivvcr,
says it's all he can Oxford.
Vashon Island news-record. [volume] (Vashon, Wash.) 1919-1954, 1922-01-13
Two Weeks

Whit does Bill want to see the
claim adjuster about9
About a weak back.
How long since it began to
bother him?
About week back.
Vashon Island news-record. [volume] (Vashon, Wash.) 1919-1954, 1922-01-13

Hey, there, boyv' exclaimed
the grocery man to the small boy
who was hanging around a bar.
rel Of apples, "what are you do
ingY"
Nothing" answered the boy,
eyes still fixed on the barrel.
Nothing, Ell? Aren't you try.
ing to steal some of those ap.
plcs?"
"No sir" responded the young.
ster, "1'm trying not to-"
Vashon Island news-record. [volume] (Vashon, Wash.) 1919-1954, 1922-01-13

The prospective home builder
surveyed the pleasant prospect
and asked: SIS this land rich?'
1T ought to be-" sighed the
gentleman farmer. GIVE put all
the money | had into it. :"
Vashon Island news-record. [volume] (Vashon, Wash.) 1919-1954, 1922-01-13
The Timkeeper

A sailor who was spending the
evening Of his life in the country
was very proud of his watch
which for nearly thirty years had
never once gone wrong. Early
one morning he reused visitor
VINO was staying with him, and
together they set out to see the
sun rise. The host kept consult
ing first his watch and then g
calendar which gave the times Of
the suns rising and setting.
There was long wait in the
pale, vague dawn. Presently tap
ping his watch with his forefngel
the sailor said:
eff the sun amt over the hill
in a minute and half he'll be
late. Tit Bits
Vashon Island news-record. [volume] (Vashon, Wash.) 1919-1954, 1922-01-13

But you must remember,
Edith" said the young husband
after the quarrel, "that my taste
is better than yours.
Undoubtedly" said Edith
acidly, "when we remember that
you married me and | MARI ed
V I.
Vashon Island news-record. [volume] (Vashon, Wash.) 1919-1954, 1922-01-13
Summer School

Freshie-" Whatll we do?"
Senior-"I'll spin a coin. If
IT'S heads we go swimming. If
IT'S tails we go to the movie, and
If 1t stands on edge, Wen study"
Vashon Island news-record. [volume] (Vashon, Wash.) 1919-1954, 1922-01-13
SENSE AND NONSENSE
"A Little Nonsense Now Rslshd BY the Best of Men,

Pap he allus ust to say,
Chris mus comes but onc't a
ycarW
Liked to hear him thataway,
In his old split.bottomed cheer.
BY the fireplace here at night
Wood all inland room all
bright,
Warm and snug, and folks all
here:
Chris mus comes but onc't a
year,"
Vashon Island news-record. [volume] (Vashon, Wash.) 1919-1954, 1922-01-13

First Doctor-'Did you have
a large flu practice during the
"pidemic2'
Second Doctor -."About a hun.
d%d gallons, I guess. And
your"
First Doctor ooh, two or
three cases."
Vashon Island news-record. [volume] (Vashon, Wash.) 1919-1954, 1922-01-13
Not Caring to Join

] received your application
blank. But | already belong to
several good Orders and do not
care to join the Income Tax at
this time. Fix.
Vashon Island news-record. [volume] (Vashon, Wash.) 1919-1954, 1922-01-13

Two hoboes met on blind
siding. One had been a salesman
whose hours were from 10 100 A.
NJ. to $3.50 p, NJ. The other one
didn't have any money either
The Skinner Re-seller.
Vashon Island news-record. [volume] (Vashon, Wash.) 1919-1954, 1922-01-13

Algy (tired waiting): "ls your
sister making up her mind wheth-
er to come down and see me or
notY"
: Bobby: at isn't her mind
she's making up"
Vashon Island news-record. [volume] (Vashon, Wash.) 1919-1954, 1922-01-13

Mrs. Casey with fashion pa
peri: "What are aigrettes.
Mike?"
Casey-"Weren't yez ever i'll
sassiety, woman2 Shurc, it's what
we send when we can't GO
Vashon Island news-record. [volume] (Vashon, Wash.) 1919-1954, 1922-01-13

"Do you think the climate
where you are going will agree
with your wife,"
"It wouldn't dare do other
wise"
Vashon Island news-record. [volume] (Vashon, Wash.) 1919-1954, 1922-01-13

"You know" said the student
sententiously, "the Romans had
a strong sense of the beautiful. "
yes" agreed Mr.. McGudlcy,
but then they wasn't very
practical. Them Roman candles
is very pretty to look at, but it IS
tarnation hard to read by EN-"
Vashon Island news-record. [volume] (Vashon, Wash.) 1919-1954, 1922-01-13

eyes, sir, I've been through
the show" said cook applying
to restaurant keeper for job.
WAS officers cook two years
wounded twice"
The proprietor tasted the soup
the man had made and replied
"You re lucky, man. It's won.
der they didn't kill you"
Vashon Island news-record. [volume] (Vashon, Wash.) 1919-1954, 1922-01-13

School Teacher-"W What is q
post ofice2"
Pat--"A post Office is a place
where a Scotchman goes to fill his
fountain pen.
Vashon Island news-record. [volume] (Vashon, Wash.) 1919-1954, 1922-01-13
A Business Offer

The medical examiner looked
haughtily at the man who wanted
to prepare to ride the goat. Then
he said:
"1'll examine you carefully sir,
for five dollars"
Gan right" said the applicant,
"and if you find it, I'll split
fifty fifty with YOU
Vashon Island news-record. [volume] (Vashon, Wash.) 1919-1954, 1922-01-13

The business agent for a Chau-
tauqua went to prospective
town to see some of the natives
With regard to booking a per-
Torrance and finally landed in
the office of Jones.
eyes, | am Mr.. JONES'" said
the occupant. What can l do
for you?"
II called to see you about a
Chautauqua," returned the visit.
or.
Nothing doing" curtly ans
wered Jones. "My wife and ]
have already decided on car Of
another name"
Vashon Island news-record. [volume] (Vashon, Wash.) 1919-1954, 1922-01-13

Some people live to good old
agc-others get off street cars
backward.
Vashon Island news-record. [volume] (Vashon, Wash.) 1919-1954, 1922-01-13

81 wonder if dyeing ones hair
is really as dangerous as the doc
tors say" said Watts.
"You bet it is" replied Hen
peck. can uncle of mine tried it
once and in less than four months
he was married to widow and
four children.
Vashon Island news-record. [volume] (Vashon, Wash.) 1919-1954, 1922-01-13

Give some men bread today and
they will expect pie tomorrow.
Vashon Island news-record. [volume] (Vashon, Wash.) 1919-1954, 1922-01-13

A small boy called on the doc
tor one evening. "Say, Doc, |
guess l got measles he said,
but l can keep it quiet"
The doctor looked puzzled.
cav, get wise, Doc, +" suggest
ed the small boy. What'll you
give me to 60 to school and scat.
ter it among all the kidsY"
Vashon Island news-record. [volume] (Vashon, Wash.) 1919-1954, 1922-01-13

Here lies the body of Jack
Lake,
Tread softly all who pass.
He thought his foot was on
the brake,
But it was on the gas"
n 4 4 4 ,
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1922-07-13
ADJUSTMENTS IS! 1

of the central characters in the Par
amount perturbation of the famous
Eugene Brieux play. THE Cradle y
starring Ethel Clayton, coming for a
stay of three days to the Washington
theatre today.
This woman vamper of male eff
fections, played by Anna Lehr, is
something new in the annals of film
dom and proves an interesting,
though hateful character. Feigning a
nervous breakdown coincidentally
with the arrival in town of young
handsome physician, she refuses to
be interviewed by any other than the
man she selects. 1t matters not to
her that her inveigling will wreck
homes or happiness - all she is con-
cerned with are her own selfish de-
sires.
Eventually this leads to disaster,
which is only averted by the greatest
influence in the world-a little child
The exact manner of all the occur
rences leading up to this climax forms
an intensely graphic story and one
which will hit home to every man and
woman. 1t is one of the film dramat.
ic sensations of the year. Paul Pow.
ell directed, Olga Printzlau adapted
ard Charles Meredith and Mary Jane
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1922-07-13
Henry County Wheat Yield
From 8 to rs Blu. Per Acre

About one-third of all the wheat in
Henry county has been threshed, the
county agent believes, and the average
yield SO far has fiuctuated between
eight and % bushels per acre. The
yield is not good. on the whole, and
does not bear out the expectations of
some based on the fine appearance of
the fields before they were cut. The
straw seems generally very heavy, but
the grain itself is light
The quality so far has proven only
fair, County Agent Test states, and in
many cases is of poor grade. The
wheat was badly damaged by the joint
worm in many parts, and also by less
common pest. the red weevil.
Oats cutting has not yet become
general here, the county agent says,
but several fields have been cut and
others will follow rapidly within the
next few days. Oats will not prove
good in Henry county this year, it is
believed, as the dry weather did much
damage throughout the growing sea-
son.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1922-07-13
UNIVERSITY FACULTY
seen IN MANY JOBS
IN SUMMER MONTHS
CBy Associated Press)

BLOOMINGTON, Ind, July Iva
cations of members OF the faculty of
Indiana university during the sum
mer months cover many fields. In
quiry recently showed one was an
amateur machinist and photographer,
another a hunter and still another a
bee keeper. while others listed their
vocations as politician, iewelcr, watch
maker. lumber dealer, orchard expert,
poet. cabinet maker and farmer.
Professor H. T. Stephenson of the
English department, is the amateur
machinist He also has won repu-
tation as photographer, novelist,
and a wood carver. Not so long ago.
he carved the oak furniture and the
altar at the Episcopal church here.
Besides needing the call of open
season for rabbits and squirrels, Pro-
lessor Logan Esarey, of the history
department, is known as belonging to
more fraternal organizations than any
other professor IN the university.
Professor c. E. May of the chemistry
department, raises bees during vaca-
tion time, while Dean D. A. Rothrock
devotes his time to politics. He Is a
former member of the state legislat-
uro and a member of the Blooming
ton city council.
In Business Here
Former Librarian w. E. Jenkins,
who is on a leave of absence, is en-
raged in the jewelry business at Rich
mond Professor G. E. Mathers of
the chemistry department, is lumber
dealer. Three others = Dean B. D.
Myers, Professor w. j. Moenkhaus of
the school of Medicine and Dean c.
z. Eigenmann of the Graduate school
are partners in an orchard near
Bloomington.
DR.. u. G. Weatherly of the sociolo-
gy department. finds his recreation
in baseball and modern poetry. Cab
met making is the hobby of Profess
or w E Black of the educational de-
partment, while Professor o. w.
Brown, professor of chemistry, is en-
gagged in working a farm and raising
stock in northern Indiana.
Professor ]. NJ. Van Hook of the
botany department, is a collector of
guns and is said to have nearly every
type of that weapon ever made IN his
collection. Professor Paul Y. McNutt
of the Law school, is a manufacturer.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1922-07-13
ReStock FlGtrock RiUer
With Bass. Blue ellis, Perch

RUSHVILE, Ind, July 1S.-The Flat
rock river in the vicinity of Rushville
was restocked with $4,000 fish We'd
nesday; 10000 black bass, 5000 blue
gills and 1000 perch being turned
loose in the waters. Several such
paintings have been made lately ana
local sportsmen state that the results
already are visible in better fishing.
The restocking of the river is under
the supervision of the county Fish,
Game and Bird Protective association
from FISH furnished by the state.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1922-07-13
Used 1T SINCE 1873

A L. Stansberry, Belmount, W. Va
uses Foley's Honey and Tar in his fam
lily, and sells it to his patrons. He says:
medicine / ever used back to 1875. II
sold Foiey's Honey and Tar then, and
everybody called 1t good Later, at
ColIinsville, Ohio we all called It the
best medicine in the world" Refuse
substitutes. the genuine is put up in
yellow carton. A. G. Luken Drug Co,
G26-627 Main-Advertise ment.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1922-07-13
JOINT REUNION TO BE HELD

CONNERSNlLLE, Ind, July To.
franklin McCray of Indianapolis, for
merly Of Fayette county, will speak
Sunday at the twenty-fourth annual
reunion of the Rush-Fayette County
Association. The reunion will be held
at Brookside park
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1922-07-13
MURRETTE
-

Realism is the one thing that am
bilious stars and directors are most
anxious to register in motion pictures.
They are, in fact, abject slaves to it.
Hope Hamilton, star, and Hobart
Henley, director, are no exceptions to
this rule.
The filming of "Stardust," the in
tensely dramatic First National at
traction, which is playing at the Muir
rette theatre had to be postponed for
several days while Miss Hampton
recovered from the realistic treatment
which she received at the hands of a
brutal husband" in one of the scenes.
Noel Tearle, who gained distinc-
ton for his work in cover the Hill"
portrays the role of the brutal over
bearing husband in "Stardust"
But he was too gentle when Direc-
tor Henley first ordered him to choke
Miss Hampton and hurl her to the
floor
make it realistic, knock her down
as though you meant it." commanded
Mr. Henley.
Tearle tried again. Still the di-
rector was not satisfied. The scene
was repeated several times, and
when the desired result was finally
obtained Miss Hampton went home
bruised and battered, and remained
there for several days recovering
from the effects.
at was a pretty strenuous expert
ence," said Miss Hampton, "but I'm
glad he did treat me rough, because
we certainly gained the best of re-
suits. Realistic? I'll say that scene
is realistic! OF course, l wouldn
want one like it every day.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1922-07-13

the Republican national committee
was held in the office of Mayor Moore.
A petition will be forwarded to the
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1922-07-13

national committee asking that Mr.
Cannon, because of his long service in
congress and to the Republican party,
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1922-07-13

Irving. the seven-year-old child prod
! ICY, are in the cast.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1922-07-13
WOULD NAME UNCLE JOE
LNNOPARN n n HIIE

PHILADELPHIA, Pa, July 13-A
meeting for the purpose of having Rep
resentative Joseph G.. Cannon of Illi-i
nois made the honorary chairman of
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1922-07-13
Note how+quickly your
teeth will improve

Get from your drug dealer tube of Lsterine
Tooth Paste. The price is IS cents.
Give it a thorough uaal-three brushings day
is the best method Then note how white and
bright your teeth will gLcam-how the condition
of your gums will improve.
And know all the while that you are using
dentifrce that is perfectlysszfe cannot inure
your teeth.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1922-07-13

be thus honored. The meeting was
attended by Philadelphia friends Of
Uncle joe"
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1922-07-13
MURRAY


William G. Colvin. who plays the
part of "Makaroff'' in Gods Cru
chile" the Earnest Shipman pro-
duction distributed by the w. w.
Hodkinson Corporation, which is now
at the Murray theatre, sailed for
Rome recently to act in an advisory
capacity to the Ultra Film Company
Of Italy.
While abroad he will discuss with
Pima Menechelli, the famous Italian
screen star. as to the nature of some
of her future productions, also carry
ing with him options on many noted
stories and plays for her considera-
tiol.
Mr.. Colvfn Is we'll qualified for
such important work as that which
he is undertaking, for his stage and
screen activities date back over a
period of twenty years, during which
time he managed, directed or enacted
a very great variety of roles. Besides
being a screen artist of rare ability,
Ell has been associated with the stage
management of many popular Oliver
Morosco successes, prominent among
which are 1.-THE Bird of Paradise
and peg O. My Heart" It is rumor-
ed that upon his return he will be
seen in another picture in every re
spect as massive as is Goods Cruel
BILE to be released beneath the
Hodkinson banner.
Gods Crucible" - the screen yer.
sion of Ralph Connor's novel, THE
Foreigner boasts in its cast be
sides Mr. Colvin, a number of tbs
most prominent screen artists.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1922-07-13
WASHING

An exotic young woman with pen.
chant for handsome physicians is one
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1922-07-13
Listerine Tooth Paste
works naturally

Notice how your mouth waters when You use it.
That is because the fruit acid elements In Listerine
Tooth Paste-graPe, orange, apple and grapefruit
stimulate the flow of saliva. Saliva is good for
the teeth and gums. That's one of the purposes
for which saliva is provided Again notice the clean
feeling. Your teeth will feel clean after you use
are clean.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1922-07-13
Clean your teeth thoroughly
and pleasantly

Notice how delightfully."- fresh and clean your
mouth feels after you use Listerine Tooth Paste.
Paste is made to work that way-to clean your
teeth thoroughly and pleasantly, and help you
keep your teeth and gums in their natural healthy
condition.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1922-07-13
It is antiseptic-like Listerine

It IS dntlSepdlc-IIkeL lSterIne
Lsterine Tooth Paste is doing the same thing that
Lsterine did. Lsterine is safe antiseptic for all
to use. 1t brings into your home an effective
weapon against infections. Just so, Lsterine Doth
Paste, used consccntiously, makes it easy to give
your teeth and gums the kind of care formerly
available only in der4ist chair.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1922-07-13
Also avoid soaps and other
alkalies

Dental authorities now agree that the ideal dend-
fice should contain no soaps other alkaline ngre
dents. These work against Natu,e; they lessen
the natural saliva flow and hasten tooth decay.
Mild fruit acids on the other hand, such as
Iisterine Tooth Paste contains, aid Nature In
preserving the teeth.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1922-07-13

You'll say these the most attractive and best values
in Bathing Caps in the city. An extra large assort
ment to select from in all styles and coors Priced at
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1922-07-13

Listerine Tooth Paste, made by the Lambert
Pharmacal Company, makers of Listerinc, con-
tains Just the right cleansing agent. 1t is hard
enough to remove daily formation of tartar, yet
not hard enough to scratch or injure the enamel.
You take no chances with it.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1922-07-13
Complexion Powders

DRUGS! DRUGSi
S1.10 S. S. S. sec