The New York herald., 1922-07-25

GOAT TRIES TO EAT
POLICEMAN'S PANTS
Billy, Usurping Traffic
Mans Post, Adds Injury
to Insult.
QUITS HIS TIN CAN DIET
Then Officer GrOm Clubs
TT
Then Officer Grom Clubs
Him for Brooklyn Crowds
EdificatiOn.
HE REACTS LIKE A SPRING
Dorothy as Lovelorn Boy
Calls Him, Attacks in Same
Trousers He Sampled.

Patrolman August Grom OF the
Bedford avenue station, Brooklyn, in
ali the glory of freshly pressed uni
form and white gloves that glistened
like lilies IN the sunlight. went to
Roebling and Grand streets yesterday
morning to conduct traffic. But he
found. sitting in the place reserved
for the traffic officer and munching a
huge tin can, a Billy goat with mag
nificent set of whiskers and a dispo-
sition that was rapidly being ruined
as he learned that there was not so
much nourishment in tin can as he
had been led to expect by the comic
artists
His name. 1t developed later, was
Dorothy, which is explained by the
fact that he was named by his own
er's little boy. aged 10. The child is
suffering from unrequited love for n
little girl named Dorothy and desired
to honor her as much as lay in his
power. So he named the goat for her.
The policeman had no time for billy
goats, not even for billy goats named
Dorothy, and as he learned little later
Dorothy had no time for cops" Dorothy
moved little to one side when the po-
liceman appeared. and Patrolman Grom
raised his arm In a magnificent gesture
that stopped all traffic.
Something with More CaIories. .
But unfortunately Dorothy chose that
moment to sigh with disappointment
and drop the tin can. 1t fell on the
and 1t hurt. so the policeman leaned
over and smacked Dorothy on the head
with his nightstick. But Dorothy did not
particularly resent this: she was study
ing the policeman's pants, and she con-
cluded there was more nourishment in
pants than in tin cans.
So Dorothy decided to eat the police
mans pants. or trousers, as they gener-
ally are called in print. He would begin
at the bottom and eat up. and. being a
kindhearted goat. he really hoped he
would not be hungry after he got to the
knees. Sc he started. nibbling daintily
at the cuffs. so as not to alarm the po-
liceman and distract his attention from
his work. He felt IT deeply when the
cop again tried to brain him with his
club. but only grunted in protest and
stuck to his job. But when the police
man hit again and again and again he
regretfully decided he wasn't liked. And
by this time he didn't like the COP.
either.
The goats dislike took the usual form
He backed off, aimed quickly but cor
rectiy and butted the policeman higher
up in the pants than he had ever had
an Idea of chewing. Dorothy Is a strong
goat with a lot of power, and the police
man rose in the air. sailed forward and
landed in the gutter. striking in the
exact spot with which Dorothy's head
had come in contact.
A Right to the Head,
Grom got up to the accompaniment Of
language such as policeman Is not
supposed to use. and amid the ribald
laughter of the populace. He Knocked
Dorothy down with his club. and Dorothy
got up and butted him half way across
the street
This continued for some time. The
policeman would hit Dorothy as hard
as he could and while he was irving
10 recover from the exertion Dorothy
would butt him. The shouting and the
laughter attracted Patrolmen Ed
schneider and Meireau finally and Pa
trolman Schneider managed TO get a
rope around Dorothy's neck The 9TH
er end he tied to a pole and after Dor
othy had almost smashed her head try
ing to butt the pole down she was tied
by the feet and carried to the police
station. There she was held until her
owner appeared. He Is Philip Will
stein Of 535 Metropolitan avenue. Brook
lyn
Willstein took Dorothy home and got
into communication with a butcher
and Dorothy's days are numbered. She
will probably wind UP In a tin can
similar to that which started the trou-
BILE. And Willstein's little boy is heart
broken. as he had set his mind on
breaking Dorothy to drive and then
clinching his love affair. He has about
AAf.I - -