davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1922-10-10
utes, udgments His commandments
The Rabbi Wins q Pig
BY DR.. Charles Fleischer-

a refusal. the Catholic asks
taGntingly: when will you be
broadminded enough to partake
of this ham. my dear rabbi"
To which the rabbi. with equal
good nature, replies: "At your
wedding. your grace"
Such salliesS are perfectly
harmless. Indeed, the currency
Of these anecdotes may be re.
garded as indicative Of that
sweeter, friendlier relationship
between age-old bitter antagu.
nists which is one of the happier
by-products of our democracy.
THE loyalty Of Catholics to
Catholicism, of Jew to Ju-
daism, or of Protestant to Prot.
estantism is not affected by
their freer intercourse, their bet.
ter mutual knowledge, their
ability severally to stand a joke
at their own expense.
On the contrary!
But the great gain is in the
growing recognition that the
common denominator, MAN, is
the one great title that proves
and keeps us all akin.
The increasingly closer con.
tact fostered by American life
among those who used to take a
stupid pride in living suspicious.
ly apart is a means Of mutual
revelation that not only Judy
O'Grady and the Colonels lady.
but Jew and gentle, are
humans under the skin.
CUPPOSE. now, that the Okla.
homa rabbi had solemnly re.
Trained from taking part in the
picnic drawing for the pig.
And suppose the genial Father
Monnot had stiffly refused to
accept the porker from Hebraic
hands.
Well. then, they-and you and
I-would have missed this par.
ticular illustration of what mod
ern democracy is continuously
teaching:
Namely, that under and over
all NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS., eco-
nomic. social-we are all men,
bers of the United State Of Man.
Copyright. 1922. by King Features
Syndicate. Inc.)
The Washington times., 1922-10-10
WAYSIDE WISDOM
ALL THE GLORY is OURS.
(Copyright. 1897
BY S. E. KiSer

IGNORANCE prevails in China, where the
i people live on rice:
There they drown the female babies, when
is neither just nor nice;
In Siam the king may still
Run affairs to suit his will,
Caring not much how the people may be
taxed or underpaid:
Indias still a land Of strife,
Where there's little Joy in life;
We, possessing peace and freedom, need not
fret or be afraid.
DUSSIA'S full of desolation, everythings
IL chaotic there;
Men are dying of starvation, all is dfrkness
and despair;
Those who rule betray their trust;
They are crazy or unjust;
Russian women are mistreated, and have no
redress, alas!
Here the people rule, and here
No one has a thing to fear;
Women may be flogged in Texas, but that's
nothing-let it pass.
4 ERICA Is still benlghted; girls are sold
IA in Timbuctoo;
Arab chieftains carry weapons, made to run
the white man through;
Europe's In a sorry mess;
Things are rotten, more or less,
In all countries but our country; here our
daily Joys increase;
Ku-Klux Klans are active still;
Many people shoot to kill.
But the price of gas is lower, and they
charge us less for grease.
The Washington times., 1922-10-10
May Wake Up
|SOme Editors
THE Editor and Publisher
sends along this communi
cation:

THE Editor and Publisher
sends along this communi
cation:
The action of the Federal
Court of the Memphis district in
sentencing Jacob Cohen, editor
of the Labor Review, to six
months in Jail and a fine of
$1,000 for contempt because he
gave editorial expression of his
views of the railroad strike and
the Daugherty injunction, and
the arrest Of G.. v. Sanders, edi-
tor of the Memphis Press, on the
same charge by the same court
for raising the question of
"Why9" has aroused many
newspaper men to believe the
rights guaranteed them under
the first amendment to the Con-
stitution have been abridged.
We would greatly appreciate
an immediate expression from
you on the subject for use in the
columns of Editor and Publisher.
Here is the immediate express
sion" requested:
A Federal Judge sending an edi-
tor to Jail for saying what he
thought may prove to be a very
USEFUL judge.
What this country needs is THE
RECALL, the right to REMOVE
judges when they are too servile,
or corrupt, or otherwise worthless
What this country also needs is
to have newspaper editors wake up
to the fact that if the people are
good enough to elect, hire and pay
judges and other public servants
they are also good enough, and
they ought to be POWERFUL.
enough, to discharge and get rid
of such servants, when they prove
to be worthless.
An editor unjustly sent to Jail is
a sad sight undoubtedly. But the
wrong kind of a judge sitting or
the bench, and doing as he pleases
with thousands, while faithfully
serving corporations that reward
him now, or make promises OF
future rewards, is much saddel
than an editor in Jail.
One of the best things that ever
happened in literature was the
sending of Bunyan to Jail. If il
hadn't been for that he wouldn Z
have written his pilgrim s Prog
ress."
Possibly if a few editors were
sent to Jail by very outrageous and
unconstitutional use of the power
that judges can exercise, other edi
tors would wake up, in which case
the wrong kind Of judge would
soon have something to think
about.
The Washington times., 1922-10-10
A. 3. A.
By BUGS" BAER

TEN thousand suburban bank
ers were scattered around in
one of our spacious New York
telephone booths. 1t was kin
dergarten week for American
Bankers Association. II you
know your A. b. AS, you've
been through college.
THEIR idea is to standardize
i money OF the world and
make 1t safe for bankruptcy.
HEMISPHERICAL finance 5
- have now reached their
high.water mark.
UBLES are worth their
~ weight in liabilities. Marks
are so low that you've got to
wear divers helmet to spend
them.
limited STATES Is solvent.
~ We have reached that heavy
breathing space between two
paniCs.
OUR foreign debts are safe be-
" cause Europe will never for.
gc; tt,m.
BANKERS have invented new
- poisonous compound inter.
est that will end all wars. In
terest chews up capital from all
angles like skeeters swapping at
commuters. Compound interest
absorbs everything like cats
tongue in saucer Of milk.
CLAPP1NG compound interest
~ on Europe will be like put
ting mustard plasters on sun.
burn. Arm those ten thousand
bankers with mortgages, pro.
tests, and turn 'em loose on civ
ilized world. In a few days. we
off our hand as far north as our
elbows.
HERE'S what banking means.
IL If you had loaned man one
dollar in 1846 at compound in
terest, he would now owe you
over sixty-six billion dollars.
When figuring compound inter.
est, millions are only fractions.
LIE would owe you all that
IA jack. Provided IL he paid
you.
RUT he doesn't. That's what
- makes compound interest.
It's no good II he pays you.
TAN you figure ten thousand
~ bankers all talking at once?
A ND every one saying Nor"
YEs'
CAN you picture one banker
~ talking at once and saving
Yes?
No.
The Washington times., 1922-10-10

EVEN the faintest glimmer Of
a sense Of humor will help
you to see the fun in a rabbits
winning a pig.
And that is precisely what
happened at Rotary Club pic.
mic in Oklahoma the other day.
The freakish possibilities of
life's lottery were enormously
illustrated when, OF all the sew.
eral hundred Rotarians who
1rew for a 15O.pound pig offered
as a gift at that picnic, the
porker fell to the lot Of a rabbi.
Rabbi Joseph Blatt, of Temple
B'nai Israel, Oklahoma City,
held the winning number.
Having no particular use for
a pig, the rabbi offered the
prize to Father A. F. Monnot,
pastor OF the Church of Our
Lady for Perpetual Help.
1t was Friday!
But the pig was in no hurry
to be eaten, for he was alive
and would keep for another
day.
J SO Father Monnot took the
squealer.
THIS incident really happen.
ed, its complete and un.
questioned authenticity being
vouched for by the fact Of its
appearance as a news dispatch
in the metropolitan daily which
offers only news that is fit to
print"
Similar stories. which are
known to be apocryphal. are
swapped wherever accounts Of
good.natured banter between
rabbi and priest are acceptable.
Such stories are then given a
momentary local habitation
through re.telling, with circum.
stantial detail about that whioN
never happened.
DOUBTLESS the reader is IA
miliar with the following
inecdote: At fairly normal
function, at which the leading
Jewish minister sits next to the
archbishop at dinner, the latter
teasingly passes a platter Of
ham to the rabbi.
When the Jew smilingly waves
The Washington times., 1922-10-10
SAP and SALT
BY Bert Moses

tcopyr,ght. 1899. by Premier Syndicate. Incl
Most arguments end right where they start
The worst thing put up in cans is etiquette.
People with short memories make poor liars.
Hez Heck says: "A widder allus gifts more
sympathy than woman"
The Washington times., 1922-10-10

sonality and character which
one finds admirable in a
neighboring plot and which
happen not to have been in
digenous to your own spirits
soil.
For there are persons who
are not temperamentally gen.
erous, but, on the contrary.
selfish and self-seeking.
There are two types OF ma
lures that might be called, re.
spectively, centrifugal and cen.
tripetal.
The one seeks and gets-that
is the centripetal-while the
centrifugal gives and does.
Even II, unfortunately, you
are habitually selfish, you know
which is the lovelier kind OF
nature, and inevitably you pay
it the tribute Of admiration.
Why not emulate as we'll as
admire? Why not try to be-
come like that which, almost
above your will, compels your
homage?
EVEN II you are born selfish,
you may try to be reborn
generous.
For we can grow towards
that, and into that, which we
admire.
II you have had the cen.
tripetal habit Of seeking ad.
vantage and gain beyond that
to which you are entitled, you
can become centrifugal. radi.
ating from yourself thoughts
and deeds, words and gifts
which are the symbols of a rich
and generous nature.
II you have been employer
or employed, getting as much
as possible and giving as little as
necessary in return, you will
find yourself happier and more
successful in reversing the pro.
cess by giving more than Is ex.
pected.
II you have habitualiy Of.
fered eleven or ten where
twelve was due, suppose you
emulate the clever grocer and
give a bakers dozen.
Then you will gradually be.
come generous by second ma.
ture!
copyright, 1879, by King Fea-
lures syndicate, Ine.)
The Washington times., 1922-10-10
A Bakers Dozen
BY Henry Smith Williams

VOU have often heard the
= phrase, a bakers dozen
meaning one for good meas.
ure.
The other day an enter.
prising grocer Of New York's
humanity picturesque East Side
undertook to attract trade by
putting into his window the
sign:
For today only. strictly
fresh eggs, thirteen to the
Dozen"
OF course, that only meant
reducing the cost to the Gus
toner BY one.twelfth, but the
good humor accompanying the
act Of goodwill made good
publicity and better sales.
The baker's-or in this case
the grocer's-dozen idea sug.
gests that glad and exuberant
giving Of more than is expected,
or the doing of more than is
called for in the contract. which
characterizes your truly gener.
Gus person.
IF YOU happen not to have
= that particular virtue. you
would be wise to assume it and.
gradually to achieve it.
For generosity is as paying
as it is beautiful.
That Is to say, It earns divi.
dends Of appreciation and re-
eponse which make It worth
while to cultivate the quality
of large.heartedness and open
handedness.
The writer has a beloved
friend who started responsible
life with minimum material ad'
vantage and social chance, but
blessed with such obviously
generous nature that her habit
Of giving to and going for folks
has always brought her the ad'
miring aid Of others even bet
ter able to give and to do.
And so hers has become the
opportunity Of generosity In
widening circles of helpful
contact.
It may seem unpleasantly cal
culating to suggest the deliber'
ate cultivation Of such an
idealistic quality as generosity.
TlHERE is no reason, how
l. ever, why one should moi
undertake to raise in the gar
den Of ones heart some Of the
fashioned flowers Of per
The Washington times., 1922-10-10
GENTLEMEN AND LADIES!

The chorus Of Fair Fifth Avenue Shop.
pers will now sing that welknown syn.
copated marching song, Were All Bound
Round by the Latest Paris Styles"
Two things always prevent man
fooling his wife over the telephone-the
phone not working and his wife not al
lowing herself to be fooled.
The question is not what the country's
coming to. but when it's coming to.
The Washington times., 1922-10-10
We TOWNE GOSSIP
4 Copyright. 1922 By Star COMPANY.
0. By Star Company.
BY K. G. B.

THE elevator. = ! KNOW quite well
RE thirteenth HAS An cvercoat.
Oor' JUST ff4e same as
nv hotel. mine.
WOMAN in brown. AND I should worry.
$ a4eAo of me. AND ANYWAY.
o STEPPED right THE WOMAN who
!, lives.
o LOOKED at IN a tenth floor room
erselt. HAD A little boy.
THE looking glass. ALONG WITH her.
% oowN at the AND WHEN the rf
sc.n; - Hal; pickEo up
~ Ten "omN"' guests.
,rH THE self same At EVERY floor.
'f:''; :. THIS tlrTLE boy
TlNto n. SN''7-' WAS CROWDED
10 LOOKED at s':ans,
herself. SO he knew no NOR
70 them turned ABOUT WHERE he
round. was
} THE two OF THAN little dog
mem IN A field ct oats.
,ok a hurried eu1 einsLly
sH :: HE spisc the dress
''e FROM THE
The light that thirteenth floor.
came
, 14e,a four eyes. ANY ..Aeet0 at II
AT T4ev'D been N"C 80 .ne 'A'''
told. AND The lit
arrived.
HERE THEY =,
bought their gowns. AZ IHs LOBBY iloor
4A1 EACH of them. AND THE kid
hung on.
As TIE only one AND SIZE dragged
lo IT seemed quite him off.
silly. .':,.,,
4EY SHOULD be dis discovered.
disturbed THAT HE belonged
'R ny dinner suit. ,o -. c..,o, ,rowr
EXACTLY the dress.
AND WAS sore as
NY walters suit. could be.
No A colored AND IT spoiled her
porter. day.
-
THANK you.
LIFE's ADDED HARDsHIPs.
The Washington times., 1922-10-10

Connecticut inventor says he hopes to
make a million dollars before he dies.
He will have to IL he makes Il.
The Washington times., 1922-10-10

A scientist has declared that there are
So 900 hairs In a normal human head,
but where did he find the normal human
head7
The Washington times., 1922-10-10
Stars and Stripes
SIZE WAS A BIRD.

Miss Fleckinger, the bird, was given
away by her father.-Three Oaks (Mich)
Acorn.
The Washington times., 1922-10-10

LIES ADDED HARDSHIPS.
There is to be a heavy duty on umbrellas,
thus increasing the difficulty Of preparing for
the rainy day.
The Washington times., 1922-10-10

BANKERS have invented new
~ poisonous compound inter.
est that will end all wars. In
terest chews up capital from all
angles like skeeters swapping at
commuters. Compound interest
absorbs everything like cats
tongue in saucer of milk.
The Washington times., 1922-10-10

THERE is no reason. how
u ever, why one should not
undertake to raise in the gar.
den Of ones heart some Of the
old.fashioned flowers OF per.
The Newark journal., 1922-04-13
EXPECT A HUMBER
 STRAWBERRY CROP
Growers of White County Dis trict Getting Ready For
 Berry Season

Bald Knob, Apr. 1.-The strawberry shipping season is 0cmI al hand and the various associations are all sct to hand Ie d larger tonnage than ever before in the history of the White County berrE district. Hhe Bald Knob Fruit Growers Association, \ of wlicE J. A. Adkins is president, expects to ship 230 cars from 1000 acres. The Bald Knob Fruit EX- change. J. N. Coombe, presi- dent. estimates it's crop at l25 eaS 10 be gathered from about I.000 acres. President Adkins has outracted to handle the output of a Griffithvillc aSsoci- atioa, estimated at 10 cars.
 Bradford, with Bing Moody oE Bald Knob handling the sales, estimates about 90 cars ofehoiee fruit.
 Because the large acreage at NcRae has been more than doubled, the Missouri Pacific railroad has greatly increased shipping shed room in order ta handle the crop of fully 300 cars. The railroad also has made Improvements at Beebc tg facilitate the handling of the output that Dr. Gene Ab- iH9t8H Will handle for his as soeiatioa. proboblE l5O cars.
 kensett, SeareE, Garner, Hig- E1rs0n, ali have larger acreage than if previous years, and d. the season k far enough ad- Eaaeed to practically assure safety from frost. all are look ing for . banner harvest. Pick CTS are beginning to drift in and the growers are putting them 70 work clearing land, setting aat=aare plants and other things fn order to retain them, az fully 3.0oo extra hands will He needed to harvest the crop 9t3F#hite# county Some grow CTS expect 10 ship q ear from Bald Knob by April 20.
The Newark journal., 1922-04-13
II Helps to Keep the
 Dollars NoUing Along

B8faess ls activity. Stagna- #tIaa= means deeas. As there #eaH he ae 43fe ia =taaHaHt ~at- eHz. lust 5a there can De n0ue aeaant business
 eset this faet well h mind l Business activity comes. mol from haa5fHH. but from -pouo- a#e=.
 What #oald the world d4 without It- sBeHdtt@itt@2 They Hat t8f44 virtue ta a6#ez- treme. Hat az ta the affect oil business. better lar that than fhe boarding of ! uiser.
 H.eare urged to practice the strlctest kind oi economy.
 The advice is conflicting. =0m@aftt=1sers# should #empIFo .a different term from 'eeon0mE. It right that eliminate aaste=#aHteH waste that brings good 9o none.
 But aait spending Never! That Way lies business stagua- tm. want. and ultimate panic.
 Imagine a=eaummltE entue- K independent eE the outside world. + has Il combined capi- taH at SI00.0 .0Hu. which - -Lt- treien to carry oH all of it's business. Eat Inc or ot hard times gaes out. purses aIe eIa-eel. aHd aae result ll- table.
 Tho world composed of communities In and between lFHe-e eoIa88aaita5es ae public Hfa blood manpE) must flow
 life be 0aed But stop that life blood and industrial aeear aHa death !. The iuod- able result.
 Ne masteara and keep on earning And equally as inn p6rfant. We must spend and keep on s0eudiug Not waste, moi reckless eNtraEa@ance; but systematic, intelligent spend nag. that shall keep the golden Ite blood bounding through the commercial arteries oI the nation. stimulating every nook and corner of the land to q NefI-aieh superhama eNertlon.
The Newark journal., 1922-04-13
HARRIS RATION
Popular Young People Marry
 at Pastors Home

Wallace Harris and Miss MyrIe Ration were married at the home of Rev. and Mrs. j. l.. Shell last Saturday evening at s o'clock, Rev. Shell offici- ating.
 The groom is a son of Sheriff Noah Harris and is a splendid young man of many stefling qualities.
 The bride is the beautiful and accomplished daughter of Mr. and Mrs. R K Ration, and is one of Newafk's most popular young ladies.
 They will make then home at Ratcsville.
The Newark journal., 1922-04-13
ANTI-DIPPING VAR
 HAS 0UITED DOWN
People in Trouble Zone Are Dipping Cattle and No Fur
 ther Trouble Expected

Reports from the war zone south of The river where more trouble was expected from those a7o opposed dipping their cattle. seem to indicate tHaE things are quietlng down.
 Cattle dipping is progressing HH#ef the direction of armed officers under thg supervision a# #-N Gudretb. government agent. and HdTepof.s indicate that aIlE ona-tomJh more cattle are aeia gaIpped t0aa before in that section.
 The interpretation of the law as given b4 Judge Cole man Ein#hIs# charge to the grand a1=E has satisfied many d, to the validity of the law which ahe4 had been led to believe Was Het legal Also the fact that the United States govern neat is ready to back up the la0=ahiding citizens and pro- teet them if they dip their cat tLe has served to quiet the feafz ef many against possible danger from the violent eIe- meHtis is salsa.
 Although q few warnings a. aaHast dipping cattle have ap- Pened at several vats these threats afe=beHieted to be d hfaff as no acts of Iawlcssnesss have =heeH=fepofted.
 he Grand Jury still is in- eest5gaitne the assassination of Charles teffefE. as we'll as the plot to=fesist the dipping laws. E he jury withholding all information in regard to iudict- ments until all the persons com aeetea with the affair are ar- Tested
The Newark journal., 1922-04-13
EXPERT EVIDENCE

\ young foreigner was a witness in court and the ques- tioSing by the lawyer for the prosection began
 Now, EasszkF what do you do?
 @Vot do l do ven29
 When you are at work, of course.
 Wy, work.
 T know if, but what at2' At bench.
 T knoW-I know, but where do you work at a bench
 In q factory.
 W hat kind ef factory Brick.
 An. now we're getting there. The factory makes brieks2' No. d. factory is made of bricks.
 Oh. Lord. what do you make in the factory
 Eight dollars a week No. no, What does tEe fac tory make
 T dunno. l iut O money.1 think.
 Now. listen. Hhat kind of goods does the factory pro- duce2'
 oh. good goods.
 N it4ezs dismissed
The Newark journal., 1922-04-13
Cases Disposed of
 In the Circuit Court

The following Cases have been disposed of in circuit court the past week
 State. KS. Al ] Herring Manufacturing Iauar HolIIe- turc of bond
 Bin Thurlo gaming feffe- tmc on bond
 CIaud Mccoy. Manufacture lng Iquor. continued
 C. " Gray. NaUgfaCtTrfHE Iquor continued.
 Geo. Ea~as Gaming fa4 trial. fined SI060.
 Noah Wafaea aIisdeamar. pLeaa aaIts. luaed &ieoaa-
 Noah Hallard- selling liquor plead guilty. fined St099e
 Noah WoHafa. eHIm@ laaaf continued
 Arnold HattIHeeaz transport ing Il4aor. dismissed
 City of EateselIIe. Ray moud Holmes. keHaetb#3Iar au. Jim Richardson and Harry TaIlcl. ali dismissed #taI want of Prosecution
 State v5 Ralph A11llea. trans porting liquor plead guilty, fined Sl0000 and line sQsz pended on good behiaEa.
 Ralph t10en. drunk. plead guilty, fined St086
 Austin cmE.I. drunk H5Hte pros
 Austin eraga. breach of pcare, plead guilty fmed#5.5
 Ben Simmons drunk. plead guilty. fined $teao.
 June Stephens. appealed from J. P. court aPpeai-dis missed. judgment affirmed.
 Harvey Rice, appealed from l. T. court. settled.
 Clark Ha.f. appealed from J. P. court jury trad. fined $lO000.
 l.. (. Crawford. appealed from J. court. 01&#trial.not guilty.
 Dickinson Watkins 4s. Road District No 1 agreed Judgment for 2,563.s0.=
 Pheiffer Stone Ge.+s=Ffaea Meachum, jury trialgad9ment tol plaintiff
 Young Bros. Es. First Nation al Bank of BatesXilte dismiss ed at defendants cost.
 Mary Hzatt.xsA ND. UuIseF, dismissed at plaintiff z cost
 Lawrence 1Icspaddeu2 F. Leauord. dismissed at de fcudat's cost.
 J. H. Hill. Ts. John Franks. fHdmeHt f0F plaintiff Tor S1aH and cost.
 J. W. N alden Fs Barnett Bros. Mere. Co., jury trlaf judgment for plaintiff for Si5e.
 First National Bank, New ark .vS. J M. CfaFens and k. e Chamberlain. dismissed at plaintiffs cost.
The Newark journal., 1922-04-13
PLANT STRAWBERRIES

Cotter. April LA JQdsoa ia strawberry plant concern which had an agent here re- ccntlv. sold 50.Qo0 strawberry plants to farmers Tn this sec. tl0u Interest lH the 6el9} H dusuE k increasing and # E possible that next year will see q commercial acreage set.
The Newark journal., 1922-04-13
BRASS AS MONEY
Man in Newark Uses Brass
 And Saves Money

We heard of a good citizen of Newark the other day who does not take The Journal but borrows t from from his neighbor. We find satisfaction is the fact that this good citi- Zens desire to read The Jour nal gives him the brass 10 as@ for his neighbors. $.
The Newark journal., 1922-04-13
DIES FROM FALL

ParaEoaId. April ll-MrS. AnFeiine Hampton, aged ., died Friday morning after q few days illness. Mrs Hamt- ton tafted oatof her home one das lat week and in some manner her foot caught in the flooring. causing her to fall to the ground The resulting in- juries to her hip caused her death