Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1922-09-06

eesvs'etsr ,a2s. sv EDGAR ALLAN .-oss.
Lesson 10 Husbands
A man had been out in the cold all
day, and his feet were very chilly in
deed. So he opened the cook stove
bven and put his sock-feet inside.
Pretty soon there was a loud snap
ping noise and his socks frightened on
his toes.
Removing his feet from the hot
oven and taking off his socks as rapid
ty as he could, the man found white
irregular-shaped objects attached TO
his toes.
All, ha! His corns had popped.
The Main Question
A man was arrested on the charge
of robbing another of his watch. It
was said that he had thrown a bag
over his victims head, strangled and
robbed him. There was so little evil
hence, however, that the judge quick
ly said:
Discharged"
The prisoner stood stiIl in the dock,
amazed at being given his freedom to
soon.
you are discharged" repeated the
judge. "You can 60"
Still no word from t h e prisoner,
who stood staring at the Judge.
Don't you understand You have
been acquitted. You are free. Get
QUIT" shouted the judge.
WELL" stammered the man, do I
have TO give him back the watch?"
Foresight
Friend-Why don't you write book
about that little home town of yours /?
Penfeld-I'd like to, but I might
have to go back there some day.
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The Young Practitioner
well, Bloom" a physician asked a
young colleague who was just start
ing in, shows your practice?"
SIN the mornings practically no one
comes" was the reply, land in the
afternoon the rush falls off bit"
Nothing to Fear
Suitor-What is it you have to say
to me?
Her Little Brother-You needn't be
afraid to propose to sister. l heard
her tell ma she was going to refuse
you.
As to the discovery by Columbia
university professor of a drug that
will kill all sense of fear, one Viroqua
man refuses to get excited. "Huh"
he says, 1--WE used to have that kind
before the Volstead act was passed"
y y y
Golf has one redeeming feature. 1t
will get a man up out of bed early
Sunday morning who otherwise would
hide under the covers despite the best
efforts of their Big Bens.
ETREL
had met Ethel about two months
before; she was a nice girl and ask
ed her. Last Saturday, when was on
the way to see her, took the subway.
| picked up swell dame there with
bobbed hair, natty open worked stock
ings and everything. Te-idea-ine, but
she was corker.
/ decided to call Ethel up and tell
her didn't feel able to see her that
night. She said something about be-
ing all alone, but ] was too excited TO
listen
To make short story shorter, we
had a helluva good time that evening.
Going home in taxi, | asked for her
home address. 1t was the same as
Ethelsi was in a quandary when
we reached there; we started up the
step, the door opened and-out step
ep Ethel.
Mother" she said, $50 you were
out with him ?"
ran as fast as could down the
street. haven't seen her since.
It isn't every pocketbook that has a
silver lining.
Half the Battle
NOW put up bold front on the
golf links"
"I-er-"
There's a lot Of people out who
don't know anything about the game"
4 4
There will be no taxes in Heaven.
Then we take it that there will be no
soft jobs.
Poles are ignoring him says Ignace
Jan Paderewski, who has taken to the
American concert platform again.
The old story of a prophet without
honor in his own country, so he'll
make the gold in another.
One of tie unromantic things about
walking in the moonlight with one
arm full is that it leads to walking
the floor with both arms full.
"
She: II don't care for men! In
fact said no to several of them"
He; What were they selling. my
dear?"
=
Let's slip Muscle Shoals to Ford
and Hog Island, too. Hanks an ex-
pert white elephant trainer
q y
OF His Hands
"Was the bazaar a success? Of
counsel Our parson has every rea-
son to thank his stars"
what were the profits ?"
"Oh, there weren't any. But three
Of his girls got engaged.
THE TiILoR's REVENGE
In Tiffin, o., there is a tailor who
had had few garage repair bills.
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