The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-09-20

. " 4NOkhnahCs
There Is one thing brought out
forcefuily by this most recent war
Europe is getting back to nor
malcy. There never was a time
when one or two. or three little
old wars wasn't going on II 1t
was during the Mars season. over
that way. You see, it's this way:
It's again the law to kill a man
in the closed season over that
way, just like it's again the
game and fish statutes to kill a
partridge in the closed season
But when the Mars season opens
up, anybody can go out and kill
a guy and start war that wants
to and the more fellas he bumps
off the greater hero he becomes.
Yes sir. this here Europe has a
great Idea of a sporting propo-
sition, and they look on the war
season over there just like we
look on the football season over
here in America. They was a
time in history when they got a
thrill of sending a few well-fed
prisoners in den of lions and
letting the lions chew they heads
off. But somehow or others this
got too tame, and they resorted
to something where you could get
a bigger run of deaths for your
money. Machine guns, artillery,
he hro
into play, and every year since 1t
has been a easier job for the
census taker in Europe. II things
keep going as they have went for
the past century, in the course Of
so annums / can't imagine any
nicer or easier job than being
census taker In Europe.
They Love the LADDER
For quite a while the Moslems
hooked they cutlasses and went in
for love. They would pick out
the blondes and brunettes of the
halr-pin sex. enough of EN- to
stock a Ziegfeld production and
pretty soon they would have a
Harem. AS long as they was
content to have a harem the world
rolled along on its axes with per-
fectly good shock absorbers to
make the going smooth. But
when they decided to have a
massacre at certain intervals as
well as have harem. and when
Kid Kemal rose up on his hind
legs and flourished a Gillette
dagger In. his bicuspid rack and
started out to kill everybody and
fhaU Rtd Nnt1ctnG tho world nj
large suddenly discovered that
the League of notions wasn't hit
ting on all six and that Kid
Renal had poured a quart or so
of LePage's glue In the car
buretor.
It was then that George Lloyd
of tn British parleyment called
on France to help him go out and
string Kid Renal to a tree and
shoot him as full of holes as a
however. hadn't fully caught up
with they burying from the last
war. Then, too, 1t seemed like
they forgot that Johnny Bull had
come to they rescue when all
Germany was going over to Paris
to have supper.
anu tllC ICdu lndL
Italy and France was again an
other war. Verify. it seems like
France don't get much fun out
of a war unlest it happens to be
against the Germans.
World Peace a Mirage
For time the pacifics kept
telling us that the people of the
world had beat they swords into
a disk harrer, and that we would
have no more war. The dreamers
said that blood and tear shed was
a thing of the passed. And, while
the echoes from they cries was
still bouncing, up and down in a
more or less 'holler ozone along
comes Turkey, leaving a river of
blood in her path as big as the
two Cahabas after a spring
freshet.
One would think that Europe
has about caught up with they
wars, but it's just like I tell you.
It's got to be habit over there.
Europe was vaccinated again
war. but 1t didn't take.
Them folks over there was
horned with chip on they
shoulder and the dam thing