The Belding banner-news., 1922-01-04

tI WHIT l ttfl III ua tim tc
nawth pole neck-ed. Say. Bill. why'n't
We burn coal 'std o. wood? Igod, it's
hotter"
Goal is worth money. Wood isn't"
Dale ran through the mail hastily.
lie threw aside a letter from the Alex
ander Crayfeld Coal corporation. which
took the entire output of the mine al
an extraordinary figure. and picked up
letter which bore the pOstmark Of his
home city.
II was from Babe Littleford. Since
he paid so little attention TO the letters
OF his parents. they had requested her
TO write 10 him-they wanted him 10
come home for Christmas dinner.
Wouldn't he come?
He arose and paced the Office floor
for two or three minutes, then he sat
down nj his desk and dashed OF a let
ter that contained only two sentences.
by Heck sat beside the stove and
watched his god with thoughtful eyes.
He understood, he believed How any
woman on earth could turn down
man like Bill Dale was utterly beyond
him. BY Heck was a great deal like a
good-natured dog.
If Bill would only laugh il would be
good for him. II had been so long since
he had heard Bill laugh. By Heck de-
cided that he would make Bill Dale
laugh.
"Old boy?"
"Wellf"
"Do We want me TO tell ye q funny
talet" drawIed Heck. He barely heard
the answer:
Il guess | don't mind. BY"
Heck's sympathy made him gulp.
But he swallowed the lump that came
up In his throat and began bravely:
"One time the was q feller named
Smith. odd name. Bill. ain't il? 'Hoss-
fly Smith. they called him. cause il
was said 'at he could easy shoot
hosSny often hosS> ear and never
break hide on tie anmie. He was 4
hellion. too one time HosShy he was
a-tryin' To git appointed the chairman
a some sort ~ politicS doin'S. and on
that same day he was a-drnkin' sort
o. tol'able heavy. They agreed to
make him the temp'rary chairman, but
Hossfly. he didn't want that So he
hops right up in he middle o the meet
in and lie hollerS out and says:
"'FelIer citizens. he says. I want
To be the permanent chairman ain't
a-go'n' 10 act in the capacity Of
burned tcmp'rary chairman; | abso
d-n.lutely aln't,'
His old neny, Eb Wright, he yelIs
back and says Snart-like: SET down
thar. HoSSny.' SAYS Eb-'you're drunk
and YOU don't know the difference a
tween temp'rary and permanent =
We'll they knowed Eh had IL II
comm To him riSht then. and they lis
tened 70 It, HoSsAy. he addresses the
whole meetln'. aud this here is what
HosShy says:
'Feller citizrns says he. 'Eh
Wright thar lows don't know the diff
ference atween temp'rary and perma-
nent I'll prove 10 YOU that do know
the difference. FL Wright says I'm
drunk ! am. That's temp'rary Eb
Wright is pokr-posed idjit That's
permanent ',
Heck finished with u lazy laugh:
"Haw. haw. haw. Hee-haw. hee-haw! !"
"Thaf story. Dale said wearily.
'has been told on dozens Of politicians.
1t has become Il part OF the history OF
this state"
We'll, my gosh :" moaned BY Heck
He thought deeply for moment. de-
cided that Bill Dale wouldn't laugh at
the story OF Tom Jones pig-which
had drank all of a gallon-pail Of but
termilk and then gone To sleep In the
self-same pail-and went on:
Here's one. by Jake. at amt been
told on dozens o politics men. And
every word Of it is the solemn. dyin'
death-bed truth. too.
"One time | was out in the noun
tains a-huntin a-goin' along slow and
a-lookin' fo' squirrel. when all OF a
student ! hears skeery noise right
ahead o. me in the laureIs-Z-z-z-z-zl
Z-z-Z-z-z Jest lire that. | stops.
stops de-e-ad still. looks keen. Thar
was den o rattlers. and the very
least one was az big around as my left
hind laig Then hears "A turrible
grOwl right ahind o me. ! looks keen.
Thar stands n big old she.bear with
her teeth a-showin', and two cross
eyed cubs Then hears n whine at
my left. ! looks keen. Thar stands q
she-panther as big as a hoss. with her
eyes jest a-bIazin'! Then | hears \
spittin' sound out io my right. ! looks
keen. Thar was seven full-grown Wild
cats. and all Of EN- had been bit by a
mad dawg Some fx TO be in? Yeuh;
some fix
Well ! thinks 10 myself. III l
shoots the rattlers ! thinks TO myself,
the bear and the panther and the Wild
oats'll git me. And ef shoots the
bear, the panther and the wildcats
and the rattlers'l git me. And ef |
shoots the panther, the wildcats and
the rattlers and the bear'll git me.
And Of / shoots tho yyil,IcafS thp rat.