davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Cordova daily times., 1922-09-28

The Doctor-Sure, I'm willing to prescribe beer for you but I cant think of any disease to name in the prescription.
 MT. Wetmore-Make it hydropho- bia, Doc!-Wayside Tales.
 Mr. Carruthers employed two ne- groes to keep up the lawns and gar dens on his estate. Nose and George worked faithfully together six days of every week. One day noticing Nose was alone at his tasks, MT. Carruthers strolled out and after watching Nose in silence for several minutes asked:
 "Mose, where is George this morn ing? Hasn't he showed up at all?" "Why didn't you-all know, boss?' replied Nose, "he is in de hospital?"
 "In the hospital? How did that happen?'
 "Well, boss, yo see George he's been tellin' me every day foh ten days he's gwine lick his wife foh her naggin. Well, yestiddy she done overheah him."-Judge.
The Cordova daily times., 1922-09-28
TREAT FEM ROUGH

"Soapbox Jack" O'Brien's plea that anar- chists and communists be allowed full priv ilege to air their reasonable vaporings will not bear analysis. Their appeal is to ignorance and discomfort and if they are given leave to preach violence, syndicalism, and sabotage, there is no doubt in the world that at least fraction of the lower element is going to be stirred to action. In England a park is set aside where socialists and their ill may full minate to their hearts content and rail against the government but once let an agi- tator advocate violence and he is jerked off his soap box and clapped into jail. The right of a government to defend itself and enforce it's policies is inherent and a government would not last long, no matter how strong and pure, if it allowed a lot of loose anar- chists to advocate its overthrow Free speech is a fine thing and the American people justly resent any attempt to curtail it, but should a man stand on the public square and vigor- ously declare for the assassination of our gov ernment-the parent and protector of us all? No, to advocate a mistaken and misguided lenity, is almost as bad as to indulge in the offense of preaching assassination itself.
The Cordova daily times., 1922-09-28
THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 28, 1922
THE WAY UP

In business the way up is straight-not crooked. >, s9 ''a",-. a
 There is no gain in concealment of motive no value in masking ambition.
 It does not in the least injure young man in an office who wants to be at the head ot the business to announce his intentions
 Ii may make the present head of the busl- ness smile-but it will show him that he has determined and interested employe, out of whom he is sure to get a great deal ot Valu- able work
 Tn every big office there are office poEtl- cians seeking by various means to get ahead of other men, and to gain promotions that they have not earned.
 Industry and honest purpose are never among the various means that they employ
 It is perfectly apparent to the fellow work ors of these men what they are aiming at
 They never can successfully mask thelr- purpose. :,
 Their attempts to pull down others that they may climb into their places almost al ways fail-they always fail if there IS intel ligence in the management.
 Their efforts to keep men about them from rising result only in the confirmation ot the general opinion that they are mean spirited and filled with petty jealouses.
 Honest, industrious, intelligent and think inc men are so unusual in all business life that their qualities are all the advertisement they need.
 The best argument with boss is made be- tween eight o'clock in the morning and five o'clock at night-with work, not with Words
 The surest way to promotion is fitting one $ self for the job next higher up and not being afraid to earn more money than one IS pa1d'
 As we have frequently said in these articles there is more profit to an employer m mSh priced man than in a lowprlced man.
 It is to his interest to raise salaries If they ought to be raised and if he is good business man he will do it. If he is not a good busl- ness man he is not the kind of an employer to have
 The man who wants to rise and goes at 1t straight and clean will rise, if he has brains. If he tries to take a crooked way up he will fail and be very unhappy and bitter while he IS failng-''Uncommon Sense''-John Blake.
The Cordova daily times., 1922-09-28
HENRY FORD'S LATEST BLOWOUT

After 1oling around on a pleasure yacht in the St. Lawrence for month during the height of great emergency in the industrial
 world, Henry Ford rushes out to Detroit and within a few hours announces that he IS gO- ing to close his plants and throw more than hundred thousand men out of work because h. can't get coal and steel at lower price than other people are paying while the railway strike is on. Evaluating Henry's pronounce ment in the light of such utterances as his statement that he had paid his war profits into the United States Treasury, people gen orally have concluded that Henry wasn't so very anxious to get coal, and that what he is really doing is taking up the slack in his fliv
 yer production, opines the National Republi- can. If an ordinary capitalist had F'fired" all his employees for such reasons and on such sudden notice, he would have been roasted by every yellow journal in the country. As it is, this type of critic will doubtless see in Henry's action the war on Wall Street he says it means It isn't often that man wins un-
The Cordova daily times., 1922-09-28

Ezra-How long yu say thet son o your'n has been in college?
 Ezekiel-Waal bout sixteen heaC ocattle 'n' twenty acres O corn.- Annapolis Log.
The Cordova daily times., 1922-09-28
Voice of Alaska Press
THE USE OF FIGURES

Commenting the circumstance that the trade be- tween Alaska and the States averages $1OO,0OOO0O the Seattle Times that but the of the Government toward the Territory it be from five to ten times that amount This another in stance of the reckless of figures. is true no doubt, that if it had been the policy conser vation, which locked tight many resources of Alaska when the withdrawals the resources full operation there would been far greater de- velopment in the Territory. It is certainly that policy delayed railroad construction for many years But $500 0O00OO and $1OOOOOOOOO very large The latter figure is larger than the value of the trade between the United States ada with her three millions of square miles and eight millions of people.
 Further than that, agricultural development in AL aska in the past has operated decrease the traffic between Alaska and the States because it has the importaons of foodstuffs. We could have great deal more agricultural development in the Territory and still the reduction of mportations would continue
 The amount of trade between Alaska and the States that sacrificed through restrictive laws, regu latons and executive acts is wholly speculative. It would have depended almost solely upon what would have followed oil and coal and pulp and paper development It must be admitted that increase of Territory and that to have acquired such increase velopment
 Better results would be attained Alaska if people would be conservative in the of figures. It would be better not to people to become dis comaged with reasonable progress-Juneau Empire.
The Cordova daily times., 1922-09-28


 Henry OMalley, U. S. Commissioner Fisheries, who has been in Seattle and Portland recently has talked plan of the Department of Commerce to create a Alaska fisheries to the westward be- ready meeting with general favor upon the part of the salmon packers, that the conservation in Alaska will be materially aided.
 Commissioner OMalley states that the plan contem- plated would make Boring Sea, Cooks Inlet and the waters of Kodiak and Afognak Federal fishing preserve. Packers would be allowed operate this district, but only permit from the government The catch each would be limited The restrictions would enable the fish this district propagate and multiply.
 Secretary of Commerce Hoover has indicated that the government will make the referred and later is expected to Presidential proclamation that will create the reservation On the subject MT OMaey says:
 My purpose is to notify the firms operating in this district that if they increase their present operations that they will be curtaied later. Our Federal fishing laws as apply Alaska enacted in 1906 and by this time inadequate. We allowed to prohibit fishing within 800 yards of the mouth of any stream already have reservation in Alaska waters the Alaska Peninsula but intend to take hold of the ad ditional territory before it is too late. We will allow fishing the reservation will the right reg it to serve the best interests of the industry Juneau Capital.
The Cordova daily times., 1922-09-28
HE OUGHT TO KNOW BETTER

HE OUGHT TO KNOW BETTER
 There is no use trying to joke with woman. The other day Jones heard pretty good connundrum and decided to try it on his wife.
 DO you know why I am like a mule?" he asked her when he went home.
 "No," she replied promptly. q know you are, but I don't know why you are"
 The capital you must depend upon is the capital: I.
 Half heartedness leads to com- plete failure
 Civic improvement note in the An thony, Okla, Republican: Another nice thing about the festival held in the city park last Thursday is that it entirely rid the park of chig- gers.
The Cordova daily times., 1922-09-28

questioned supremacy in two fields, but as a builder of cheap automobiles and as bunk artist Henry Ford is without a rival living, dead or unborn.
The Cordova daily times., 1922-09-28
Shear Wisdom

According to insurance actuaries people are living longer now An Irishman writes to say that it isn't that they are really living long CT, but that they take longer to do it.-Punch.
The Cordova daily times., 1922-09-28

So far as we can make out it's attitude, Ger many is about ready to demand that it be per mitted to live off the interest on it's debt- Philadelphia Inquirer. <@T
The Cordova daily times., 1922-09-28

Able was telling his friend Moe one morning as they met to take the ven-fifteen that he had just purchased a new cottage.
 And what do you think, it's got one of them swell names," said he.
 And what is 1.-the name?" asked Moe.
 'The Cloister," said Able proudly.
 "But you can't call it that, that's a choich name. Besides it's Roman Ketlick," insisted Moe.
 q should worry!" returned Able. Tt suits the cottage like a dot. It's cloister the gulf links, cloister the railroad station and cloister the ocean. l should worry"
The Cordova daily times., 1922-09-28

She gave up mutton, pork and beef, She gave up aids and teas, She gave up milk, without relief, She gave up beans and peas. She gave up fruit, spuds and jams, She gave up bread and toast, She gave up herring, shrimp ard clans
 She most gave up the ghost, She gave gave up powder, rouge, and men,
 She gave up baths and soap, And when she weighed herself again. She wept and gave up hope.
 Wisconsin Octopus.
The Cordova daily times., 1922-09-28

Of course the pen is mightier thar the sword, but so is the automobile when it comes to manslaughter.
The Cordova daily times., 1922-09-28

According to present indications, if winter comes, coal will be far be- hind-Life.
The Cordova daily times., 1922-09-28

A machine has been invented whereby auto batteries can be charg- ed almost instantly Now if some- one will kindly invent or patent a way of getting gas charged, autoing would be more of pleasure.
The Cordova daily times., 1922-09-28

Hubby-Aren't you ready dear? Wifey-As soon as I fix my hair, Hubby-For gracious sake, haven't you fixed your hair yet?
 Wiffey-FiXed it! l haven't found it yet!-New York Medley.
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1922-05-31
Mrs. Clark Again
Chosen President
AbsecOn Women's Republican
Club Hold Annual Election of
Officers And Entertainment.

At the annual election of officers of
the Absecon Women's Republican
Club, held last Thursday evening at
the home of Mayor Harry Mattson,
ST., Mrs. Lewis M. Clark a again
selected as the president of the club.
All the other officers were also re-
elected, as follows:
Vice-president, Mrs. C. d. Turner;
secretary, Mrs. Alfred Roger; assist
ant secretary, Miss Roger; treasurer,
Mrs. Charlotte Pitney; corresponding
secretary, Mrs. Frederick Audrey.
Most of the evening was taken up
with routine business, as this was the
first meeting of the year. During the
evening Mayor Mattson made an ad-
dress that was received with great ap-
plause by the ladies'.
Mrs. Walter Roberts gave a detailed
report on the work done by the mem
bers of the State Republican Club,
which was held in Haddon Hall, At
lantic City, recently. Plans for the
coming elections were also discussed
as were the merits of the different
candidates.
Following the business session re-
freshments were served and a musical
program was enjoyed. Miss Young
rendered a violin solo, accompanied
by Miss Leona Conover. The next
meeting will be held at the residence
of Mrs. Walter Roberts.
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1922-05-31
Somers Point Team
Defeated Keystone
Hentz Pitched Fine Game Allow
ing Visitors But One Run
Hart Hits 3-Bagger.

The Somers Point baseball team
lined up against the Keystone Club Of
Atlantic City on Sunday afternoon and
after a very one-sided game came out
with a score of 10-1.
Tommy Hentz, the Pointers big
highlander, made his debut on the
mound, and was in great form, only
giving the Maroon and Gold visitors
seven hits, which accounted for their
lone tally.
George Brown, former Bader Club
pitcher, was the selection of the Key
stone team for hurting duties and he
went along nicely until the fourth
inning, when the locals knocked him
out of the box with a deluge of base
hits which accounted for five tallies.
Harry Badger, former P~leasantville
Highlander, was sent into the breach
and during the next two frames he
too was hit rather freely, the Pointers
scoring the remainder of their ten
runs during this time.
Frank Stretch, the veteran Somers
Point catcher, who was seriously in
jured during the latter part of last
season, made his return to the game,
and caught well.
The lineup:
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1922-05-31
Exhibition Will Be Located on the Boulevard Below Franklin Avenue

ample parking accommodations for all
the automobiles which bring people
here, and those who desire may have
their cars checked under the care of
an efficient Waterman.
In addition to the regular attrae-
tons generally carried by the Riley
Shows there has been an added at
traction secured by the booking of
the Joseph G.. Herbert's Greater Min
strels, which is a company of thirty
five of the greatest gloom killers and
laugh producers ever gathered in one
aggregation, consisting of sweet sing
ers, clever dancers and the funniest
of comedians. Possibly the most i'm
posing attraction will be the big hip
podrome show with wild and domes-
tic animals, acrobats, aerial artists
and funny clowns, all of whom per
form as in the days of old in the one
ring circus. There is to be a series
of free acts and band concerts each
day and evening. The attractions
will be especially suitable for women
and children.
A committee from the James Har-
vey Post, American Legion, of Vent.
nor City, is coming to Pleasantyille
next week to look over the show and
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1922-05-31
St. Joseph's Parish
Social A Success
First Affair For Church Benefit
Melted Handsome Sum For
New Building Fund.

The social given by the Parish of
st. Joseph's Church, Somers Point,
four days last week was a great sue
cess and netted a fine sum for the
building fund for the new church
edifice. The ladies of the Parish
worked hard to make the affair a sue
cess and desire to thank all those who
gave them their support.
The proceeds will go to the new
church Just completed last month
kl!5 es iP5I8AlEy dedicated e :
sss:ssl IA ssIsssss M e s1l1 BE-
Which stands at the corner of Harbor
Lane and Shore Road, and is n of
the finest along the mainland.
Prior to the building of the church
the parishioners of Somers Point wor-
shipped at the Anchorage Hotel for
several years.
The Rev. Thomas Blake, of Ocean
City, has been conducting services in
the church since Easter Sunday, when
it was first opened. The building and
ground represents an investment of
over $4,000. During the summer
months, however, a missionary priest
viii be assigned to the parish and I'M
der his leadership it will grow with
the visitors who come here during the
summer months.
The ladies who had charge of the
bazaar were: Mrs. Albert Cramer,
Mrs. Reed, refreshment table; Mrs.
Overend, fancy table; Mrs. Nevens,
novelty table; Mrs. Kinsley, Miss
emile Steelman, Miss Davis, candy
cable; Mrs. Cecilia Champion, fishing
pond.
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1922-05-31
CHURCH MEMORIAL SERVICE.

-Goodly numbers were in attendance
at all of the services on Sunday at
ST. Johns M. p. Church. The pastor.
Rev. George w. Toms, Jr:, preached
a Memorial Day sermon in the morn
ing, taking for his subject Loyalty"
At the evening service the Memorial
Roll of the Church was read by Chas.
Collins, and the bell tolled for the de-
parted onest con Monday the graves
of these were decorated by a com
mittee from the Sunday SCHOOL,. AT
the memorial service Mrs. George w
Toms, Jr., wife of the pastor, and heI
daughter-in-law, Mrs. George B. Toms
of Philadelphia. sang "Tenting To
night"
The singing by the new choir was
commented on very highly, and this
will be a splendid help to the services
They rendered special selections al
both services.
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1922-05-31
Pay Respect To
Heroes of War
Graves of Departed Soldiers Dec
Grated With Flags and Flow
ers By Former Comrades.

This Tuesday Memorial Day is be-
ing observed all over the land and in
the several local cemeteries several
hundred graves of departed veterans
of the country's wars were decorated
with flowers and a flag. Early in the
morning the members of Mainland
Post, American Legion, assembled at
headquarters and marched to the
cemeteries where the graves of their
comrades of the World War were
properly marked and a service was
held.
During the morning hours a detail
from Joe Hooker Post, G.. A. r., &C.
American Legion, Atlantic County
women's organizations decorated the
graves of Civil War veterans and the
veterans of all other prior wars. The
Morris Guards sen a detail to dec
crate graves of former members OF
that command, and the Gale Post
Veterans of Foreign Wars, also held
services and decorated graves of their
comrades.
After the decoration work had been
completed the several organizations
assembled at the Grand Army Plot in
the Atlantic City cemetery and held
patriotic exercises, consisting of sing
ing, prayer and addresses, after which
a salute of three volleys was fired and
taps were sounded. On Sunday mem
bers of the Knights of Pythias and
Odd Fellows decorated the graves Of
their deceased members, and the Johr
Jacob Aston Camp, Spanish War Vet
Grams, held a service and fired a salute
at the Atlantic City Cemetery. Taker
altogether Memorial Day was more
widely observed this year than ever
before. With but l3 members of tht
Grand Army still living the younger
generations are gradually taking ovel
the work and assisting the remaining
veterans to keep the dead comrades
in
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1922-05-31
NEWS

Mrs. Harry w. Smith has been con
fined to her North Absecon home by
a severe attack of tonsilitis.
Leon Conover is the bwner of a new
Cleveland six touring a
Mrs. Julia Fenton has been confined
to her apartments the past month by
Illness.
Mr.. and Mrs. Townsend d. Shovel
have a bumper crop of large, luscious
strawberries.
Mr.. and Mrs. Valdemar Edwards
and children, of Bridgeton, motored
here last Sunday and spent the day
with her sister and brother, Miss
Lorine and Fred C. Boice. Leaving
here they continued their trip to Long
port to spend Memorial Day with Mr..
and Mrs. James b. Townsend.
Patriotic Services in M. E. Church.
A stirring patriotic address was de-
livered by Rev. j. w. Wainwright at
both the morning and evening service
in the NJ. e. Church last Sunday. AT
the evening service members of the
local lodges, Odd Fellows, Red Men
and Brotherhood of America were
present in a body and occupied seats
at the front of the edifce. Rev. David
d. Knowle, a retired minister, resid-
ing on Ohio avenue, this city, spoke
on Odd Fellowship, and what its three
links stand for, Friendship, Love and
Truth. Mrs. Harry Marsh, of Phila-
delphia, and Miss Ethel Giberson ia
vored with a vocal duet. The Star
Spangled Banner, Battle Hymn of the
Republic and America were sung by
the choir and congregation. Rev. r,
A. Elwood made the opening prayer
and pronounced the benediction.
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1922-05-31

The days are drawing neal for the
opening Of the big homecoming and
carnival which is to be held from
Monday, June 5, until Saturday eve
ming, June 10, under the auspices of
the local Chamber of Commerce. For
the past week an advance agent of
the Matthew J.. Riley Shows, which
will furnish the amusement features
of the week, has been engaged in
posting advertising for the weeks at
fractions all along the Shore Road, in
Atlantic City, Egg Harbor, Somers
Point, Absecon, Ocean City and other
cities. Every trolley a of both the
Atlantic and Suburban and Shore Fast
Line Companies will carry advertis-
ing for the great event. Thousands
of people will be attracted here dur
ing the week and the members of the
Chamber of Commerce will be greatly
disappointed if this is not the biggest
week P~leasantville eve experienced.
1t is expected to make this "Old
Home Week" an annual event, and if
satisfactory arrangements can be
made, the Riley Shows will be book
ed for a return engagement next year
about the same date. There will be
The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1922-05-31
o SEVEN ACTIVE.

Troop Seven, under the leadership
of Scoutmaster Emile Shappell and
Assistant Scoutmaster Joseph Walker
will take part in the parade in Allan
tic City this Tuesday afternoon. Last
year they had a place in line after
coming from an overnight hike in
Longport. This year they will go di-
rect to the starting place, taking the
trolley car for Atlantic City in a
body.
Saturday night the troop left for the
camp at Lily Lake, and spent the
night there, returning Sunday morn
ing. This was the last hike to the
Lake for some time. The leaders of
the troop plan to hold the next over
night hike at Mays Landing. They
will take rations and tents and spend
from three days to a week at the
picnic grounds.