The independent. [volume] (Elizabeth City, N.C.) 1908-1936, 1922-10-20
THE GREATNESS
OF N. CAROLINA
Some Curious Twists To Facts
About Our Tobacco, Ap-
rles, Towels and
What Not

ma INlNllNSS' 9'-N y J'''N'
Hay. Jr.. writing iii The Ashc-
lille Citizen. TO appreciate
its staggering magnitude Your
imagination must be StImulat-
cd by eloquent. apt and artiul
illustration" And here's the
way this artful humorist does
il:
If all the chewing tobacco man
ufacturcd in one year in North Car
olina were made into one big and /
Succuleut plug, aud man standing .
on the top of Mt. Mitchell bit off
thew from its thick corner, his vor- ,
aciouS chin would drop so far that
it would break the supple back OF /
somnolent shark ut the profoundeSt
bottom of the Gulf of Mexico. while .
his anticipative muStachc. standing
out like the QuillS of the trcttul
porcupinc. would make the silk-clad
ankles of the fiappcrs on New Jer-
says NorthcrnmOSt vcraDdaS shrink
hnsly suspect the sting and bite of
new and unconqucrable mosquito.
If all the towels made in one
year in North Carolina were fast
Cned together fringe to fringe into
one great towel. the man who
dreid his feet with one end of it
ON the rocky coast of the Straits OF
Magellan would. with an asitatcd cl-
bow. ovcrturn a pcarlishcr'S sam
pan in the calm. warm waters of the
Indian Ocean, and find himself wip-
inS his surprised and distant face
with the other end of it on top of
the highest peak of Grccnland'S frOS-
ty. famous and far-huns mountains.
If al the stockings woven in
North Carolina in one year were
made into one stocking, its impcr-
iShablr foot would hold all the toys
Santa Claus has brought down the
chimncys Of America since the ride
of Paul Revere; its leg would CON
tain all the dear. dim dreams of ru-
nance that Swcctly thrOnged the cor
ridorS of mems brain in the time of
the long. provocative skirt: and its
soft and Silken top would reach up
into the heavenly vault where Venus.
tiring Of her fiirtationS with militant
Mars. would with discriminatory fin
ger and appreciativc thumb form fiat
tcrinS judgment of its iilmy and ca
resing texture and its dcathlcSS. un-
darned durability.
! ''If the North Carolina apple could
be grown all over the world with its
original and irresistible flavor. it
would be- substituted by the Latin
! Americans for their garlic aud by
: the MongOlans for their rice and by
I the Ethiopians for their watCrmcl-
/ Ons: its brown and bubbling cider
would be the worlds champagne. dirt
cheap at thousand dollars Il quart:
| and doctors would prescribe its pun
gent. powerful and puiSsant brandy
/ as the elixir of life, the fountain of
/ youth. substitute for futile and
antiquated pharmacOpocia. and sud
den, sure and sweeping destroying of
! the dumps. death and disease
IF all the cigarettes manufactured
in North Carolina in one year were
rolled into one great, long cigarette,
a young sport leaning nOnchalantly
against the South Pole would light
it with the everlasting fire in the
tail of IIaley's swift and restless
comet; use the starry Dippcr for his
ash tray; blow smoke rings which,
unbroken by all the hurricanes that
lash the seven seas, would hide the
circles around Saturn for thousand
years; and with the immcaSurablc
inferno of it's stub blot out and uSurp
the glowing fame and place of the
hitherto Quenchless morning star.
If Il young lady would wear in
one skirt all the silk woven in one
wear in North Carolina. its whisper
ing edges. as she turned around on
TOP of the Washington Monument.
would, with their musical and allur-
ing frou-frou. charm the ears OF yell
ing cowboys on the wind-swept pam
pas of the Argentine; brush the fra
gile liaueur glasses from the tables
in the sidewalk cafes of sparkling
Paris; and, with Il cOquettish swirl,
create a pcrfumed draught that
would shake down to the shadow
embroidered gras the bluShing bloom
of the sacred cherry trees in the
Imperial Gardens Of Toxic, Japan.
IF all the tables manufactured in
one year in North Carolina were
made into one great table, and II
that great table were covered with
one vast tablccloth consisting of all
the tableclothes woven in one year
in North Carolina, and Oh that table
were one giant bowl made of all the
kaol;n produced in one year in North
Carolina. there would be banquet
board under whieF could be hidden, a,