The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-01-01

Bertrand married Tall Blonde
who knew that Columbus discovered
America and which kind Of Massage
Cream to buy, and let 1t go at that.
They went abroad and began to
Ritz themselves. Every time Madam
walked into one Of those places
marked English Spoken while you
wait'-Zing! The Letter Of Credit
resembied q piece OF Apple Pie just
after the willing Farm Hand has
taken q Hack at It
Isabel FASTENED to make an Al.
lance with one Of the Oldest and
toniest Families west OF Bucyrus
and north of Evansville. She sue
ceeded in capturing an awful Swell
Boy who wore an Outside Pocket
ON his Dress Coat and made a grand
Salad Dressing (merely rubbing the
Bowl with q Sprig Of Garlic) and
was otherwise qualified to maintain
Social Leadership oil the way from
the Round House up to the Hub
and Spoke Factory on the Hill.
Isabels Husband built a House
near the Country Club SO as to get
the Automobile Trade, coming and
going. Some Of the Best People
would drop in and show the Ice
Box how to take a Joke.
Even Lake Superior would 90 dry
IL tapped at two different Points
by Drain Pipes Of Sufficient Di-
ameter.
After Bertrand returned from Eu-
rope with his Paintings and a Table
d'Hote Vocabulary. he and Brother
in-Law began to compare Mortgages.
BY consulting the Road-Map they
discovered that the Primrose Path
would lead them over High Precipice
into q Stone Quarry. SO they de-
cided to take Short Cut at Right
Angeles and head for the Millionaire
Colony.
The Day they started for New
York City with q Coil Of Strong
Rope. their purpose being to tie
Kuhn. Loeb Co., Hand and Foot,
It Ia said that q long vertical Crack
appeared in one OF the most ex-
pensive Monuments in Spr1ngvale
Cemetery. .as II some one underneath
had been trying to break out and
Head OFF something.
In preserving tho form of
Narrative It becomes necessary to
add that Bertrand is now the oblig-
ing Night Clerk at a Hotel in Louis
Vile, with Maximum Rate Of $3.50
Single and q Shower Bath.
Brother-in-Law 10 Assistant Treas
urer at q Temple Of Amusement
which guarantees all the latest ard
best Films.
.. Whist becomes Of the Bundlsi
Listen.
When Pa locked up his Desk and
started for the Pearly Gates, he left
behind in the office an humble Man
Friday. who took care Of the Books
and did the Collecting
This Understrapper was a Model
Citizen Of 35 who wore a plain
String Tie, drank Matted Milk and
was slightly troubled with Bron-
chitis.
When the Children began throw
ing 1t at the Birds, he bought him
self Net and got Busy.
Any time Anybody wanted to
plaster a Mortgage on a Desirable
Corner he was there with a Foun-
tain Pen and a Notary.
One Day a friend demonstrated
with the Slave.
why are you wearing yourself
to a Shadow and getting Old be-
fore your Timer" he asked. What
shall II avail Man IL he il Princi-
pal Deposition at n Bank when II
comes to riding behind Horses that
wear Plumes?"
1T VIII tell you" replied the
Slave. 1T have q boy named Ber-
trand and q little Girl named Isabel
and my Wife and I have decided
that Il 10 our Duty to leave them
well.Fixed."
Notwithstanding past rake
up the leaves before the Young
People con haze o successful Bow
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