Connecticut western news., 1922-05-11
MILK FEVER

Ever see a COW with milk fever? No? We'll, it doesn't matter much, for the kind of milk fever to which we allude is being experienced mostly by males at the present time-nales with two legs instead of four. But in order to make clear that there is a connection between bovine milk fever and a similar fever now run ming rampant among the male sex of that class of people whose voca- tion is farming, we will elucidate.
 A COW with milk fever usually lies down with it's head and neck stretched to one side. The cure is produced by pumping the udder full of air, tieing the teats so it cannot escape and shooting some strychnine into the animals neck. Within twenty four hours she is up and pro ducing milk in the old fashioned way, just as though nothing had happened, though her udder may squeek like rusty hinge the first time she IS mixed. 'F stfl@ ts Now you know the symptoms of the disease. We'll, knowing these .yon will readily admit that a. large majority of our farmers have it. The only difference is they do not actually lie down, though they might just as well. Their heads and necks are stretched around so far to one side that they are unable to see any thing except milk. While they are ! looking at the milk, innumerable quantities of farm produce is march ing by them without paying toll. Thus at the end of the year instead of paying an income tax they figure it out that Uncle Sam should pay them for staying in the business. . So many new diseases have been brought to light to take the joy, out of farming the last few years, that this latest development. will cause but little commotion. Its inception was but a natural result of the war, though it was manifest even before that impending, worldwide catas- trophe. Farmers who had been raising sheep, beef cattle, hogs or vegetables suddenly thought they saw anew road to wealth. Further moret this road was easy to travel and led direct to the worlds treasure house with it's coffers brimfull of gold. One had but to buy few cows, milk them regularly and place the milk in cans outside their doors and at the end of the month they would receive a handsome check for their labor. This new road might aptly be called the Milky Way. ~.> : No more would the farmer be bothered with sheariny pestiferous sheep that smei.cI to high heaven l; no more sitting up all night at !a,nb- ing time. Good bye to filthy pigs, which found even the smallest holes in fence and aside from eating now and then arlittle clover meant for the cows, would often consume all refuse from kitchen and dairy. < Farewell glutonous beef cattle, t h - made the poor farmers perspire all summer that you might be fattened on a low-priced roaghage during the fall and early winter. And those onions and other vegetables! No more wedding them and coaxing them to grow, in sunshine and rain, till it, seemed your back was broken and you had rheumatism in every joint. No sirree Bob. Henceforth us farmers would take some pleas ure in farming. Milk" was the pass word to greater blessings and com- forts.
 This short-sighted vision-for such it is proving to be-is resulting in the loss of millions of dollars to the farmer and increasing the cost of meats, vegetables, flour, small grains and even clothing, to the consumer. But it's an i'll wind that blows no one good. Silo manufacturers are do- ing business at the same old stand. That is, the same old stand e llarged to mammoth proportions, while