The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-01-15
By ROE FULkERsON

Father. l want you to do some daughter, as the family sat down to Sunday morning breakfast.
 Without ceasing his reading of his moyning paper, father took his wallet out of his inside coat pocket and ostentatiously placed it in the chair and sat on it.
 It's not money this time, pops. .' laughed his daughter.
 With the accent on the two words this time.'" interrupted her brother.
 You are driving out of turn, snapped the flapper, coldly. T only want father to come out to the Coun- try club to tea Saturday afternoon. All of the girls in our set are" < T will not do it." said her father with emphasis. He laid his paper on the flos. beside him.
 Il have never learned the art of balancing a cup of tea on one knee, holding a fragile plate of ice cream in one hand a ribbon-tied sandwich in the other, while rising, lowing and shaking hands without losing either one of the three.
 Not only have I never learned, but l never wanted to learn. and l will never learn. I like a chicken fight better than tea fight and horse race better than race to the punch bowl full of Welchs extra dry.
 "A tea Is my idea of nothing on earth to do. and while l come from small town where the only amuse- ment is to go down to the station at s4 o'clock and watch No. go by, l still think that was wild excitement compared with going to tea.
 "I would a lof rather % to an old L. fashioned taffy pull and see grand pap get his false teeth fastened in the taffy until it took three of the children to get the teeth and taffy out of his face and a half hour to melt the taffy off the teeth in the rain water barrel, just outside the kitchen door. l don't want to go to a tea"
 Where do you want to go, pops?' asked Fred. the son.
 T want to go to a party where they play charades. where they say My first is round and my second is a stove and my whole is tropical fruit and see everybody pretend surprised when some Predetermined soul guesses orange" answered father.
 q want to see some village cut-up go out of the room and then come phSh " leli O 1T Oii HIS arm and have them guess what he represents only to find that he is giving his idea of what a brakeman looks like.
 T want to play clap-in, lclap-out I want to play drop the handk erchief l want to play I'm Somebody where the next question they ask Is Arc you animal. vegetable or mineral n
 q want to go to party where you can hear people have fun, hear them eat their clam chowder. hear them do their. kissing and hear the village quartette sing, Rocked In the Cradle of the Deep.
 q want to take your mother to a party and drive a white horse which has so be whipped going away from home and which hurries so you have to hold her 1ack on the way home
 T want to see some more girls whose hands and elbows match the tints of their cheeks and who pull onions instead of pulling their eye brows.
 T want to seA a few boys who can play seven-up and who do not know a toddle top from turnip or a pair of dice from a pair of pigs
 "I want to see the moonlight shine through the trees instead of through factory chimneys, and l want to look across corn fields in stead of across primly gardened parks which look like the formal