The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1922-07-14

at idoO ASoAiHSNf "a SoeH"N JNhAPSN -
tho chance.
They went down to the dock and
first inspected the luxurious craft fore
and aft. George" the count would
say to the caretaken, II want you to
run us up to Tarrytown this after
noon"
George would then sharhefacedly re-
ply. "Sir, regret that the engine has
not yet been repaired" just as he had
been instructed in the rehearsal.
And then the count would express
his disappointment at "hiso meniaPs
dilatoriness with dramatic cutting
ou:.
He couldn't sail up the river, but he
had by his dramatic stroke awaited to
the Hottest pinnacle Of the young lady's
estimation. For every four-fusher
there is four-fushee--a person
whose ratings of others are based on
as vulgar and false standards as those
of the perpetrator Of the pretense,
In New York there are firms which
specialize in lavishly furnishing a
house for an evening party at so much
per. Liveried servants are supplied,
and all the appurtenances of affluence
are rentable for the occasion.
Merchants are imposed on by the
four-fusher out seeking distinction by
spurious means. Two women walked
into a store and one Of them excited
The envy of her companion by in
speeding all the elaborate silver COT
fee urns in the department and then
buying the most expensive one. She
did not pay cash, but asked to have it
sent out C. o. D.. She never expected
to accept or pay for the goods, but
she could not resist the opportunity to
impress her friend. 1t is common
trick to order merchandise from very
expensive and exclusive stores so that
the neighbors will be impressed when
they see a truck and a liveried chauf-
feur from the high-class shop stop
next door. Later, the goods are re-
turned as unsatisfactory, or if the
package is small and the customer has
no charge account, they are refused
at the door.
That there are vigorous and devious
ways of fiattering ones self-import-
ance is exemplifed by the man who
goes into an exclusive bell hop to page
himself. To hear the sound Of his
name reverberating through the gilded
arches thrills him. Furthermore, it
impresses anyone who may know him
and who hears it. The clerks in some
of the best hotels for gratuity per-
nit the four husher to receive his mail
at that address. One fellow used to
awe the clerk by registering and then
pulling several packages of "money"
out of a grip and asking him to put
them in the safe. The packages were
labeled $4,000" on the outside; the
inside was filled with newspaper. The
four-fusher who regularly writes his
letters on the stationery of an eXpen-
sive hotel is common pest whom the
managers are trying to suppress.
A common trick is for company
which occupies a small office in a
large building to put picture of the
structure on its letterhead with a
large faxed sign bearing its name en-
blazoned somewhere on it. Or fell
low by the name of Jones will move
into the Skinner Building; find a poor
fellow by the name of skinner; give
MIN small sum for the use of his
name and thus acquire the right to
have the concerns mail addressed to
the Skinner Company, Skinner Bldg,
Chicago.
According to the accounts in the pa
pers, some residences which have been
burglarized must have been veritable
treasure houses. According to the re-
port given to the police, thousands of
dollars worth of diamonds and jewels
have been taken. The victim who
may have lost only set of silverware
couldn't resist the temptation to ere
ate splurge by exaggerating his loss
es.
If you or l intended to make a
splash, we'd try to do it in front Of
our friends SO that our achievement
would have permanence and follow
up results by being engraved on the
tablets of memory Of our associates.
But the thirty-third degree four
ausher makes his grandest splurge in
an alien environment. He likes to i'm
press a strange crowd in a strange
restaurant by his spendthrift per-
formances. He wants subjective sat-
isfaction from ostentatiously spending
his money and seems to be able to get
it even by playing before strange
audience.
The possession of large and snowy
library is a favorite method of show
ing nonexistent erudition. The pres
ident of a national trade association
has for three years made a finely
composed speech to the annual con-
vention of the organization. / know
the man who wrote them for him. This
writer also wrote a pageant for the
celebration of missionary society
which drew visitors from ali over the
country. A lumberman's wife was
credited with the authorship in the
program, and she beamed with pride
when her friends showered her with
congratulations for her hitherto UNI
discovered literary talent. Publish
ers get out books of happy phras-
es "to embellish conversation and cor
respondence," thus enabling a low
brow to display classic style. There
$50 k,,,on,r ,,yL;oL ,,roraro onak.1nn