davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Arizona republican., 1922-04-23
Her Quiet Day
THE ARIZONA REPUBLICAN, SUNDAY STORY
A COMPLETE NOVELETTE,

shopping and the matinee. Then she
will drop me here tonight on her way
back. I'm only travelling in a suit
case. I suppose the chauffeur could
bring that in, and I'll tell May you'll
be ready shortly. Shall L? You can
wear a pump, can't you? You won't
have TO walk any distance at all. and
the outing will do you good
'I'll be ready in Is minutes" An
nice said 'T'll get Mrs. Pixley to
come for the day."
Let me call her." said Branche ef-
ficiently. What's her number?"
Annice gave it, and in two minutes
Mrs. Pixley had said she would be
right over.
AS Annice flung on her things she
thought curiously that Blanche
seemed altogether different. and that
Arizona republican., 1922-04-23
Penny

Standard Oil company more inter-
ested in the present than in the here
after, raises the price of gasoline in
Chicago district cent and a half
gallon.
That increase, applied all over the
country, would increase the nations
yearly gasoline bill $67,620,00O.
A penny, one way or the other IN
gasoline price, makes a difference OF
more than 45,000.000 year.
A powerful friend, the penny, when
treated with respect. 1t is the core OF
individual success and corporation
dividends.
Arizona republican., 1922-04-23
CLouns

For the first time in 80 years AL
Miaco, famous clown, fails to take
part in the seasons first performance
of the worlds greatest circus in Mad
ison Square Garden, New York
Most of the philosophy of life is
condensed in AIS fate. He is ~ years
old, so his name is stricken off the
list of performers.
Whether in the great circus of life,
you are clown, lion tanner or an
acrobat, the day is steadily approach
ing when younger "act" will take
your place.
All people at times become con-
fused and think the worlds gone to
pot. They do not realize that all that's
wrong is that they're getting older.
Arizona republican., 1922-04-23
Marks

II you are holding a basket Of
German marks the news from Berlin
is sad. In the last week Of March
Germany added S,496, 100000 marks to
it's paper currency in circulation.
This sort of initiation is the rea-
son why German commodity prices
advanced an average of 20 per cent
in March
When prices are low, money is
hard to get. When money is plentiful
prices are high. The system gets US
coming and going. It's a gambling
game, with a permanent cleanup only
for the gentleman who salts in away
when the sailing is good.
Arizona republican., 1922-04-23
Twilight

A condemned prisoner in the
Charles street Jail of Boston is work.
ing like beaver in the shadow of
the electric chaff, to build a radio
phone for his fellow prisoners.
While the supreme court reviews his
case he gives people outside prison
walls an excellent example-making
the most out of life while it lasts.
striving to tighten the burdens of
others. There is something worth
saving in a man like that.
Arizona republican., 1922-04-23
Cats

The revolver is the cause OF 80
per cent of crimes, says Judge John
O'Connor, Chicago.
"Take away the guns and you'H
stop most of the crime. Stop the
manufacture of guns. Then you have
the answer to the crime problem.
That is so per cent true. With no
revolvers available, crooks-an OF
whom are towards, since they have
not the courage to fight the battle OF
life honestly-might in some cases
revert to spears and war clubs. Most
OF them, however. would be restrained
by fear if they didn't have sure death
as their hackers.
Arizona republican., 1922-04-23
THE SECRET FOLK

very likely: after few generations
OF rats had fattened on Hopi grain
it would offer them a happy hunting
ground.
Butt who knows? For a secret folk
are the snakes, guileful. mysterious.
Where they are concerned neither in
stinct nor reason seems to guide us.
Do we seek to dismiss them from our
minds because their sublety bewild-
ers us? Aye, and one suspects old
grandfather Adam. in TIME long past,
knew them as well, or i'll, as any
of MS
Arizona republican., 1922-04-23


she had the prospect of a good time
in the city. She hadn't been there
since last fall, and there were a few
things she wanted. not to mention
the matinee. Excitement and hurry
flushed her, and when she came out
of the house. just as Mrs Pixley went
in she looked fairly radiant. Mrs
Pixley had promised to set the house
in fullest order and bake up good
larderfull
So Annice flung care to the winds
and determined to enjoy herself. And
she did SO thoroughly that she soon
forgot the burn under her gaiter, for
Mrs. Colt was the best of company
and Blanche was as pleasant as pos
sible. Annice began to feel that
either she had changed or Blanche
had. At any rate, they seemed likely
to get on very well.
They lunched at fashionable cafe,
shopped a bit, saw the most talked of
play of the year, and slipped back
over the 80 miles home through the
fragrant April dusk.
Annice made Mrs. Colt come in to
supper. which was just ready. Her
spirits rose and she felt equal to
playing the most hospitable of host
Arizona republican., 1922-04-23

II have written
a poem on The
Dear Old Garden
Gate and"
"Oh," interrupt
ed the editor, with
icy courtesy, you
don't know how
relieved / am. A
poem written on
Arizona republican., 1922-04-23
REST IN PEACE

Private Washington Lee Johnson
had just come up with the replace
ments and was on sentry duty the
first night in the new camp. In the
early morning hours along blew the
lieutenant colonel, who had a reputa-
ton for being hard boiled guy.
Halt! Who all dar?" beloved
Private Johnson.
Officer of the post"
There was a long and painful ST.
lence while the sentry racked his
brain for the proper thing to say,
Then the officer snarled:
We'll, why don't you say some
thing? Are you going to leave me
standing here like this all night 2"
Nossuh," answered Private John
son in relief as a flash of inspiration
came. mo, indeedy, sub. At easel"
Los Angeles Times.
Arizona republican., 1922-04-23

but thlS organ IS HtVtT WIIUIIy
empty. At the time Of arising in the
morning the normal stomach con-
tains about a fifth of a glass of
fluid.
This is residuum colored faint
blue, green or yellow, due to the
presence of bile and other fluids
which have passed from the bowel
Arizona republican., 1922-04-23

the garden gate, eh? 1 was afraid
it was written on paper, and that
you wanted me to publish it. If ]
should ever happen to be passing
your house, I'll stop and read that
poem"
Arizona republican., 1922-04-23

thought firmly. 'Tu try to remem-
Der that her parents were good to
Wilson when he was left unmoth-
cred and alone"
The housework remained to be
done, of course. but she decided to
put that off while she Gained her
self by reading book. She had turn
ed half dozen pages when there
came knock at the back door. There
stood a man with can of maple
syrup in each hand.
Il met Mr. Reedy on the street on
my way into town." he said. "and he
bought these and said you was want
ing some syrup to boil down into
stirred sugar"
Il suppose Annice thought. 81
might just as well start this boiling
Arizona republican., 1922-04-23

that some of US never get discour
aged over-the trying.
That results are not just what w
would like. not what our sometimes
perfectly honest intentions call for
seems to make no difference with cur
perseverance. That we antagoniz
and irritate constantly seems not Il
bother us one bit. We wonder VIII.
some folks are so ungratefu1 and se
dense, and then bang away with
greater force. In some efforts ws
learn wiser ways from our continued
failures, but seldom here
And yet the lesson is so very SIM
pie. We can never hammer any hu-
man soul worth the effort into
changed endeavor. We cannot be
hammered into goodness ourselves.
We can use tactful effort to change
the governing motive of life. But
that's too indirect a method TO suit
the average reformer.
-.
Arizona republican., 1922-04-23
ALAReE ORDER

DO you always speak the truth
and nothing but the truth?"
II don't claim to be as strong as all
that" replied Senator Sorghum. "A
man who undertakes to ascertain
truth in its entirety and then to sift
out all the elements of non -veracity.
is likely to find that he has used up
the better part of lifetime in con-
templative silence - Washington
Star
Arizona republican., 1922-04-23
RY Or. R. 4. RIsHoP

OF water
b e for e e a t ing
breakfast has long
been proclaimed a
great producer of
good compilations.
Many people know
this result but few
know the reason.
In the morn
Ing after a nights
sleep one would
naturally suppose
hat the stomach
would be empty.
Arizona republican., 1922-04-23

turned to his COM
panion with a
smile.
There, /" he said
triumphantly, did
ou S e 9 t h a t
charming young
lady smile at
me 2"
"Oh that's moth
Arizona republican., 1922-04-23

"Am / to infer
that you wish to
throw doubt on
her veracity 2"
The polite young
man waved a de-
precating hand.
Not at ALL" he
replied. II merely
wish to make it
Arizona republican., 1922-04-23
not returned from some friends

not returned froi
whom she had
been visiting for
tea. Little four
year old Gwennie
ran up to her
fathers side.
+" ID a d dy. S h e
cried, I've been
wanting to see
you for a long
Arizona republican., 1922-04-23

Civil war veterans have started a
movement for the celebration of the
sixtieth anniversary of the battle of
Gettysburg with another great re-
union in that city in July, 1928.
Arizona republican., 1922-04-23

More than 1000 Pennsylvania vet
Grams of the world war who were with
the 10th division are planning to re-
visit France and the old battlefields
this summer.
Arizona republican., 1922-04-23

have paid the debt
a month ago.
"Ah," interrupt
ed the plaintiff,
that's all very
wen, your honor.
but if my aunt
had four wheels
she might have
been an omnibus. :"
Arizona republican., 1922-04-23

ing to worry about" replied his
friend. consolingly. THE first time !
saw you 1 laughed out loud, but !
soon got used to your face"
Arizona republican., 1922-04-23

There are more dumbbelIs than
dumb bellies.
British may pay us the interest on
their debt, but it's the principal Of the
thing we are kicking about.
Uneasy lies the head that wears a
permanent wave.
Some people are down on prohibi-
tion because it makes it so hard to
get a drink.
Any flapper knows that smiling for
a man is quicker than crying for one.
Spring weather revives the put
and take craze. We put them on and
take them off every week
Sometimes the biggest fish is on
the bank.
Just about the time man decides he
has conquered the air you hear of
him falling down again.
Ruth Wants to Play First.'-head-
inc. Landis makes him play last.
Some people would buy hippo
potamus If they could get it charged.
Sometimes it takes little knock
ing to drive home a point.
1t is better to be bored than lonely.
Chicago wants a new jail It is
understood that crooks absolutely re-
fuse to go to the old one.
Getting up before hubby is a fine
way to keep in pocket change.
Laugh and grow fat, is fine; but
after you succeed it ceases to be a
laughing matter.
Jack Dempsey is touring Europe
with the expectation that he won't
find anybody to fight him.
You may think your luck is bad,
but-consider the plight of blind
man at a bathing beach.
Lots Of people are looking for the
path of least persistence.
If some people worked for what
they were worth it would be a long
time between paydays.
Arizona republican., 1922-04-23

you have heard what the last
witness said" persisted counsel, and
,.ot 1zn1lr. eNidence is to TIE contrary.
Arizona republican., 1922-04-23

esses when she saw how bright and
tidy everything was. Wilson and the
boys freshly groomed, and a great
platter of crisp, brown trout ready
to be served together with other good
things
After all, Blanche's visit proved no
bugbear. For Blanche had softened
and grown generous in the years that
had passed.
81 resolved to come once more and
make amends if / could" she told
Annice. do you know / was half
afraid to enter the house that morn
ing remembering how disagreeable
had been to you. But that spilled
syrup broke the way for me very
nicely"
Arizona republican., 1922-04-23

Said the defendant, by way of ex-
.if Id had the money Id
Arizona republican., 1922-04-23

Chief officers OF the various divi-
sions of the United States army wear
gold hat cords. All other officers wear
gold and black.
Arizona republican., 1922-04-23

Daddy came home from the office
early one evening, and mother had
Arizona republican., 1922-04-23

LIIHV WIItII IfIUtiItT IlOJ7 near.
Why, my little grip asked the
father.
well, dad" answered Gwennie,
please don't tell mother, because
she's an awful dear, but / don't
think she knows much about bring
ing up children"
What makes you think that 2"
asked her father.
Well" replied Gwennie, "she
makes me go to bed when / am
wide awake, and she makes me get
up when / am awful sleepy"
Arizona republican., 1922-04-23

clear what lar am If she's speak
ing the truth"
Arizona republican., 1922-04-23
Laugh With Us

She entered the editors room with
determination plainly visible on her
face?
Arizona republican., 1922-04-23

Old Major Shrapnel was walking
with a friend when they passed a
pretty girl. At once the major
Arizona republican., 1922-04-23

There are more dumbbelIs than
dumb bellies.
Arizona republican., 1922-04-23

Uneasy lies the head that wears a
permanent wave.
Arizona republican., 1922-04-23

British may pay us the interest on
their debt, but it's the principal Of the
thing we are kicking about.
Arizona republican., 1922-04-23
PENALTIES OF PRETENSE
3y Il. ApDINGToN BRUCE


he Riddle of Personality" "SeIf- Development" Etc.
ight 1922, by The Associated Newspapers)
The New York herald., 1922-02-19
Along the Bagdad Subway

gentleman put the penny, when it dropped
out, in the slot of another turnstile and
snarled when it fell out again, should have
dispelled it..
At any moment we expected to hear the
absent minded gentleman grumble, These
darned slot machines are always empty
It's getting impossible to buy piece of
gum"
That, of course, is a charitable way of
viewing the gentleman's activities. Maybe
--(there are a few dishonest people in
New York)--he was trying to cheat the
company. We dunno.
The New York herald., 1922-02-19

Hall. here whispered to Hon. Quinn that
the local chairman of the Chautauqua was
his bitterest opponent, Hon. Luther Nickel
man.
"Move we adjourn!" shouted Hon. Quinn.
like he was exploding
1t was only because Mayor and quorum,
headed by Hon. Quinn, hold such high
Office in the Borough that the fire laws
were sort of loosened to let them wedge
into Arnold Hall.
Sent for the Undertaken
To Provide Enough Seats
But every seat was occupied and paid
for. But Hon. Quinn got an idea. Hon.
Quinn directed the management to send
down to the casket display parlors of
ex-Sheriff Bailey, our popular undertaken
and embalmer, and borrow enough folding
funeral chairs to seat Hon. Quinn and
party on the stage Of Arnold Hall.
Cheers from everybody except Local
Chautauqua Chairman Mickelman greeted
the Borough statesman when Hon. Quinn
led the way up to the row of undertaker's
chairs on top of the stage.
Hon. Mickelman turned around from
making announcements just in time to see
Hon. Quinn bowling acknowledgment to
the cheers and then sitting down in the
big chairman's chair reserved for Hon.
Mickelman, right under the big banner in
scribed "Carpe Diem"
1t wasn't until Chairman Mickelman had
to sit down in the one vacant undertaken
chair, to one side that Hon. Quinn stood up
to begin addressing the Chautauqua meet
ing. And Hon. Quinn, until later thrown
out of his chairman's chair stood while
talking right in front of the chair so that
Hon. Mickelman could not get into it.
Fellow Chautauquans, greetings!" be-
gan Hon. Quinn, regardless of Hon. Nickel
man just announcing the program OF
community singing, expert fiddle playing
by the leading fiddle artist of Poughkeep-
sie NJ Y, and grand final speech by Prof
L. Fuerties of the University OF Beach
Haven College about the kind Of noises
animals and birds make, as observed by
Prof. Fuerties while exploring in little
wood burning steamer up the Nile.
On account of so many high class people
and strangers in the big audience Hon.
Mickelman kept quiet for while to be
The New York herald., 1922-02-19

+ T was one of those machines that you
feed a penny to in exchange for ball
= of colored chewing gum 1t stood in
a corner of that bowling alley in The Bronx
that we told you about recently.
We saw a bowler go over and insert
cent He pulled the slide and out came
ball of gum; he repeated the operation,
and he kept on repeating it we don't know
how many times. Each time ball OF
gum dropped out 1--WE could hear the click
as it landed in the receiving cup), yet the
bowler was plainly irritated What was
the matter? He kept on inserting pennies.
getting balls of gum and grumbling. 1t
was all very puzzling. We went over to
investigate.
Have you got five pennies for nickel?'
he asked us as we approached.
We gave him the change and he pro-
ceeded to insert the pennies. We were
more puzzled than ever. What was the
idea? Was the standard treat in this
bowling alley a ball of gum and was this
his round? Perhaps. No! With
the third of the pennies a black ball OF
chicle dropped out and our new friend
smiled put IL in his mouth and stopped in
serting pennies. The other gum balls lay
in a red, green and white heap in his left
hand.
want one?" he asked as he proffered the
colored assortment.
We thanked him and seiected beauti-
full red one.
II like only the licorice ones" he ex.
planned as he vigorously chewed away.
Let's go over and join the crowd"
Towc xyaQpfnU In hannv unfgou Wa do.
parted, arm in arm, for the alleys.
The New York herald., 1922-02-19

Ing the car cardS we lounu IL
good fun, but in five minutes we had read
every card in sight. And we wanted to
read so badly! For the first time in an
age we had secured seat and we yearned
to spend the time luxuriously reading, as
though we were in an armchair at home.
II we we're palmist we could have spent
the time reading the hand of the strap
hanging guy in front of us. But we know
no palmistry.
Why hadn't we thought of buying a
newspaper? We kicked ourself Gas well
as it can be done in sitting position)
And then-oh, joy!-a man next to us
rose, dropped his paper on the seat and
proceeded to move toward the door. Too
proud to pick up his paper until he had
left the train and could not see us, we
waited for him to get off. He got off, We
reached for his paper. II wasn't there.
Another guy had grabbed It!
So we started to read the car cards all
over again.
The New York herald., 1922-02-19
OUR OWN ETYMoLoGY COURSE.

~ ERHAPS those sparrows we saw
ignoring the keep Off the grass"
signs in Bryant Park the other
day took the liberty Of doing so
because there isn't any grass to keep off
these wintry days. When spring rolls
around and the grass shoots up again we
are going to make It our business to find
out whether the sparrows are law abiding
citizens
In the old days there must have been a
custom OF arresting birds that violated the
keep off the grass" law. This, we be.
lieve. is the origin OF the word "jailbird."
Speaking OF which, we have an idea fos
a story about bird. A hungry sparrov
lights on window sill and sets up noisy
chirping by way of announcing his desire
for food.
"Cheepl cheepl" he cries. Then, TO him.
self. in a half whisper, Gee, there's a
cake and a loaf Of bread on the table.
Hope they amt cheap guys. I'd like
some of the cake"
gentleman opens the window and
throws the sparrow some bread.
"Cheopi chcdp| cries the sparrow to
denote HIS scorn.
Then-but we'll finish it some other time.
The New York herald., 1922-02-19
SUBWAY CHATTER.

THAT people sometimes drop pennies
in the subway turnstiles instead Of
= nickels is a well known fact. We
saw man do IL the other day. And he
did It deliberately-so deliberately and
orenly that any one could see that the act
was one of absent mindedness. II there
was any doubt of this, the fact that the
The New York herald., 1922-02-19

~ had bright idea the other day.
Noticing a rubbish can that was
chockful of old newspapers, he set fire to
1t and, grinning gleefully, stood over the
can warming his chilled hands When the
fire began to die down he collected news
papers from the street and rejuvenated
1t. Two or three other frozen ragamufflns
lit was a cold day)-noticed the blaze
and came over to share its warmth. The
originator OF the scheme welcomed them
and they stood there by the improvised
fireplace swapping CHEEKY "reminiscences.
All was going nicely, when a cop spied
them and promised to make II even hotter
for them il they didn't put out the fire
and run along. Muttering imprecations-
or, should we say, swearing like blazes?-
they complied and skunk forlornly down
Broadway.
Better luck next time, fellersl
The New York herald., 1922-02-19
Seeking Hard for Subject
On Which to Base Speech

"And, why? you ask me-" continued Hon.
Quinn, still just talking words while
scratching his head trying to think of some
regular subject Because, fellow Chautau-
quans, translating that motto into language
within your lesser understanding, this
motto of our Chautauqua means variously
obey that impulse or, DO it. now!'
Fellow Chautau-"
Hon. Quinn suddenly stopped scratching
his head absently so we scribe could see
he at last had hit on a great subject worthy
of the occasion.
Friends" cried Hon. Quinn, now in his
grandest public speaking voice and taking
a step forward but still guarding the chair
mans chair against Hon. Mickelman get
ting it. Friends. would address you this
night on a subject which we of the Chau-
tauqua movement-here as we are to uplift
and instruct you-would have you get the
straight of with sympathetic understand
ing.
my friends, address you this evening
on the momentous subject of the sacred
and profane history of the Popes of Rome,
from the days of the Casars right on
down"
It was at this here point that out on the
stage came the travelling manager of the
Chautauqua uplift troupe from the metrop-
oils, his name on. the printed program
being T. Cyril Baffingphone. Phi. ID.
Mr.. Bafingphone, Phi. D., was the small
est little man ever seen in this borough,