Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1922-03-01
Test of Strength

that dId not 1all TO Ine lou OF the ds-
erage American.
"Parley WOO English, mamselle ?"
queried one Yank, dropping into the
village patisserie.
"Yes, monsieur, VARY leetle."
alta kid, swell businessl Say,
could you put me wise to where a guy
could stack up against some regular
eats in this burg?
In Old New York
Stranger: "Well, well, what's this
An old fashioned torchlight parade ?"
Metropolitan: "Only a common cit
izen going home After nightfall here
we can venture forth in comparative
safety if we have torch bearers and an
armed escort"
X X X
Tragedy
She laid the still white form beside
those who had gone before. Not a
groan, not sigh came from her.
The suddenly a sharp scream rent the
air. It seemed to echo and re-echo.
Then all was quiet again. She will
lay another egg tomorrow.
x
First Private-What's the matter,
Buddy, why the ugly look?
Second Private-Y You'd look ugly
too if you and the Lieutenant who
censors the letters wrote to the same
girl.
Miss Yeazey, lin music ciass) Twill
lie, what is double forte 2"
4 Willie: Eighty"
Checking Up
One morning negro sauntered in
to the office of a white friend. Good
mawnin', Mr.. Withrow. Kin use yo'
phone a minute ?" he asked
"Why certainly, Sam"
Sam called his number, and after a
few minutes wait, said, is this Mrs.
Whiteside? Well, seen in de papah
where you-all wanted good culled
man. Is you still wantin' one?. Then
the man youse got is puifectly salts
factory, and you doesn't contemplate
maxim no change soon? All right,
ma'am. Goodbye.
Mr. Withrow called to Sam as he
left the phone, Nov that's too bad
Sam, that the place is filled"
"Ct'. dat's all right, Mr. Withrow,
Ise de niger what's got de job, but
Is jest a Wantin' to check up."-Judge
you're an awful BORE" sighed the
cork.
Hwell, I've taken you out of many
a tight place, haven't TT returned
the eorkscrew-
X 4 < Y
Just Like Man
BY C. u. Later
Paw WINS stormin' round the house
an lookin' fer the comb. SEED he ter
Nav "Some things have legs the way
they seem C. roam. Why, 'twuzen't
more'n an hour ago | put it right up
here" pointin to little shelf atop
the chiffonier. Poor Nav, she never
sed a word, just side glanced thoughts
at me as if | knew, If | would speak,
list where tibet comb could be, an, ice,
hadn't seen the thing 'cuz Twas on
Saturday when Teller doesn't hev to
comb to jest go out an play
GOSH Paw jist KEEP stormin' round
each minute reased his dire, an il
SIGH words could make smoke, you'd
thought our house afire. 'Twuz in
the. kitchen meath the stove an under
every shair Thet Paw went bobbin
UP an down, more crosser an a bear
He looked the icebox through an
| through an stirred the garbage can
at which my Nav jist he'd to laugh
an sed "Thet silly mani" An ther
she riz up from her chair, Paw, will
you please look here?" A pointin
to little shelf atop the chiffonisr.
y n y \
women may smoke" sagely re
marks Gene Helgeson, "but the old
fashioned way of scratching a mattel
still remains a strictly masculine priv
ilege."
That's what you might call the sea
of consolation for menfolks.
What has become of the ouija Boar
that used to tell US everything tina
was going to happen?
There is no disagreement in the fam
| lily about one thing. and that is tn,
desirability of owning an AUTOMOBILE
says C. NJ Clark.
Rastus Washington called at o.
Davis Drug Store the other day.
BOSS, The said, 81 wants one OBJ den
plasters you done stick on yoah back.
Il understand" said Grant Johnson
"you mean oneofour porous plasters.
mo, sah," he replied positively. :"
don't want none of yoah poorest plas
ters-I wants the best one you gotl
| X x 4 X
Alta Boy
A barber who hailed from Perdue,
Would continually urge a shampoo,
He talked so of dandruff
That the townfolk got damruff
And made this poor barber skidoo.
1 = x x y
The man who lays down on the jo
picks mighty poor couch.
x X X x
Spring skirts will be 6 inches fror
the knee" says Tailor c. NJ. Powell
Up or down?
| Weatherman R. A. Power think
'.The sky is the limit" originated on
day when it showed and rained at tn
same time.
X x X X
The Kaiser wants permission t
move to Finland. The finish, as 20
were about to say.
The Flapper Dollar
Boston Transcript
! Already the critics-cafl them nv
pers, if you like-are knocking GU
new silver coin. One writer calls
the "happer dollar" and says the ope
| Tipped girl thereon looks as thong
she might be saying Lines busy
or Say, lissen" Just that sort O
girl, you know.
X X \
4 Sad