davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1922-05-05

u VERY place cen deesa country
H. now gotta trouble. When de war
go on seema lika everybody gotta same
idee. Only ting wot maka trouble
tree, four year ago, was da fight.
Each maka da strike or da keek bouta
somathing. Only ting gotta do was
putta kaiser on da bum.
But seence da war queeta fight and
da kaiser go on da hog we getta more
trouble as ever. Nobody feela good
and everybody wanta keeka other one.
Zen da fight we maka gooda job, but
weeth da peace seema lika nobody
know ees here yet.
Every place ees too mocha walk
out, lockout, strike out, keek out, pay
out and down-and-out. Da paper say
one place gotta strike, other place
gotta walkout and some other place
ees da lockout. And cen eacha one
dat place everybody TAXA da vacash
and no go to worE.
Da actor he mrka strike cen New
York, da railaroad shop men walk out
ieen some other place and one frien
II gotta cen San Francisco, Californ,
tella me he was lockout other night
by hees wife.
I aska one man wot's deefrence
,weeth da walkout and da strike and
he say ees no deefrence. And some
body teHa me one guy cen da basa-
ball game maka tree strike one day
and other guy gotta tree walk cen da
sauna game.
President Harding say eef we no
strike and walk out now everything
ees pretty good cen lettle while. Meb-
be he gotta righta idee and l gotta
one. too. I tink we should stoppa da
baseball eef ees any more strike.
dunno for sure eef am righta idee.
Wot you tink?
(Copyright.)
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1922-05-05

The old fashioned woman used to
paint pictures of flowers and cows and
things to hang on the wall, has a
daughter who confines her painting to
her face. But we can't say the arts
tic talent of the family has improved
much.
No super stout cares to be as thin
as some of the excuses her husband
makes.
A crook often avoids the appearance
of evil for business reasons. He'd
never catch so many suckers if he
did not keep the hook concealed.
Lack of a little common sense has
wrecked more homes than the lack
of money. When husband and wife
realize they both are human and make
a little allowance for each others
faults YOU have one couple who'll new
er see the inside of divorce court.
There are a lot of disagreeable peo-
pie in the world; but none gets your
goat any quicker than those who think
they alone are qualified to run every
thing and everybody.
1t some times seems that bootleg
ging is the only safe get rich quick
scheme this country ever has seen.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1922-05-05
SPARKLING Gems.

The humorist contributor looked in
upon the editor of Answers upon his
busy day. The humorist contributor
should not have looked in upon the
editor of Answers on his busy day.
The editor of Answers can't feel hui
morous and busy at the same time.
What was more, the humorist con-
tributor would not go.
At last the editor Of Answers decid-
ed to stop being busy for one moment
and be sarcastic.
"That was a gem, that joke you sent
me" he said in his usual dry tone.
The contributor drew himself up
with pride.
Sir he said, "you fatter mel''
mot at all" replied the editor. You
should have seen it sparkle when I
put it on the fire ANSWERS.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1922-05-05
HARDIN PUT BACK
ON HIS FEET TWICE
Was Relieved of Both rheumatism
and Stomach Trouble by Tanlac,
States Los Angeles Man.

''For the second time Tanlac has put
me on my feet, and you may know by
that what I think Of it" said William
T. Hardin, 1409 Garden ST., Los An
geles, Calf.
'Three years ago, had rheumatism
in my shoulders and neck so bad /
could hardly work. I tried medicine
after medicine only to get worse, but
finally I got hold of Tanlac, and
haven't had a trace of rheumatism
since.
''Then last summer my stomach got
out Of order, lost my appetite and
what little I did eat made me feel
bloated, all stuffed up and miserable.
always felt weak, tired and worn out,
and was so nervous I couldn't sleep.
swell, Tanlac did a good job for me
before, so / just got some more of it,
and now it has again fixed me up, and
I'm feeling strong and energetic like
/ used to. I'll tell the world Tanlac's
the medicine for me-"
Tanlac is sold by all good druggists.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1922-05-05

wild home and gave no thought to
high-toned relatives.
But if Gala Lily had but known 1t
there was another Jack not far from
the one she could see from the win
dow. of whom she had more to fear,
for he bore much more striking re-
semblance to the stately Lily than the
other Jack.
This second Jack-in-the-Pulpit had
a green-white covering which looked
very much like Calais wax white cup,
and if sometime you are in the place
where the little Jacks grow and you
look you may be fortunate enough CO
find this other Jack with the greenish,
white pulpit, though this is not so com
mon a variety as the dark-colored
Jacks.
But you can be sure both Jacks
would rather live in their airy, light
homes in the woods than in the glass
house where their stately cousin Gala
Lily lives.
(Copyright)
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1922-05-05
Thousands Have Kidney
Trouble and Never
Suspect 1t
Applicants for Insurance Often
Rejected.

Judging from reports from druggists
who are constantly in direct touch with
the public, there is one preparation that
has been very successful in overcoming
these conditions. The mild and healing
influence of DIR. Kilmer's Swamp Root is
soon realized. 1t stands the highest for
its remarkable record of success.
An examining physician for one Of the
prominent Life Insurance Companies, in
an interview on the subject, made the as
tonishing statement that one reason why
SO many applicants for insurance are re-
jected is because kidney trouble is SO
common to the American people, and the
large majority Of those whose applica-
tions are declined do not even suspect
that they have the disease.
DR.. Kilmer's Swamp Root is on sale
at all drug stores in bottles of two sizes,
medium and large. However, if you wish
first to test this great preparation send
ten cents to DR.. Kilmer & Co., Bingham
ton, N. Y, for a sample bottle. When
writing be sure and mention this paper.
Advertisement.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1922-05-05
76y }I .!| I'''. ~ \

flowers that happened to be growing
near the little stream which ran along
by the conservatory.
Often the wild flowers had nodded
to the dollhouse flowers and some OF
them had bent a little in answer, but
not the stately Gala Lily. She pre-
tended she did not see them or their
friendly nod.
And there. was a reason for this, for
Gala knew that Jack-in-the-Pulpit was
a relative of hers distant, to be sure,
but still he was related-and If one
stopped to look and compare Gala
and Jack they would see at once a
family resemblance.
Calais dainty, waxlike cup resem-
bIes Jacks greenish-broWn pulpit, ana
Calais pretty, yellow, upright center
resembles in shape Jack himself as ne
stands beneath the curved pulpit. And
that was the reason Gala Lily did not
nod or notice the little wild flowers
outside her glass home; she was afraid
that some one would know that she
and humble little Jack were cousins,
for she supposed that Jack knew 1t
and was Dragging to the other wild
flowers about it.
"They will be sure to tell it to some
Of the flowers standing near the door
some day when the gardener leaves
the door open"
The truth of the matter was that
Jack knew nothing about the stately
relative growing inside the dollhouse,
and if he had he would have pitied
her, for he was quite happy and salts
fed growing out in the air and light
and would not have changed places
with Gala for all her beauty and
stately bearing.
He. loved the woods and the moist
spot where he grew and his friends
that grew about him.
There were the tickle, late-coming
wind-f1owers though they never tar
ried, Jack was always glad to see
them and hear them prattle of the
sights they expected to see, and their
farewell futters as they sailed away
always made Jack glad he did not care
to roam, as they did.
There were the wild Lilies-of-the
Valley; they were friends of Jacks
also, and he felt they had much in
common, for their name was as Ions
as his; there were the birds and the
4 trees, too. Jack was happy in his
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1922-05-05

the lady to whom the captive cavalier
penned the much-quoted lines:
Stone walls do not a prison make.
Nor iron bars cage.
To Alethea is given the additional
interest of naming the youngest bride
known to English history; in 1869, at
the age of nine, Alethea Branding
was married to man named Henry
Hitch. The name proved very popular
in England and Ireland, where it is
sometimes contracted to Lefty.
Althea, meaning wholesome, has no
connection with AIethea. The former
seems to have belonged solely to the
unfortunate mother of Meleager.
Coral is Alethea's talismanic stone.
1t has the power TO drive away evil
spirits and to protect its wearer from
danger and disease. Thursday is
Aletheas lucky day and her lucky
number. (Copyright)
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1922-05-05
ONLY KIND THAT PATTY KNEW
Unfortunate That Grandma's Nick,
name Came Into Her Head at
Precisely That Moment.

Patty's grandmother was one Of
those modern, Wideawake citizens who
take an active part in everything civ
ic. She was chairman of her suffrage
district and attended women's conven-
tons throughout the country.
Her family called her "Our Politi-
clan" to tease her and three-year-old
Patty would listen round eyed and
wonder why grandmother was SO cross
with them.
One day grandmother was enter
tanning a group Of her friends by ex-
hibiting Patty.
"Tell about Red Riding Hood"
begged grandmother innocently.
Patty began, Little Red Riding
Hood-went into the wood with a
basket-to visit her grandmother, who
-" She hesitated, waiting to be
prompted with "who was SICK
'Who?" Grandmother waited
hopefully.
''Who was a politician finished
Patty, with a sudden inspiration
Chicago Journal
Uniforms are q successful education
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1922-05-05

n LETHEA, though not in common
"A usage, is a most important name.
It comes from the Greek Alethia,
which in turn was evolved from the
Greek "a" and the word meaning ito
hide, and thus may be translated as
"truth" or Sincerity"
The first appearance of the name is
recorded in 1411 when Aletha Of
Padua lived. It was Dona Maria
Aletha, a Spanish princess for whom
Charles 1 of England journeyed to
Spain while he was prince of Wales.
Alethea was the form which APP
eoeared in the famous Saville family
ind was given vogue through It's
prominence. But perhaps the most
famous and memorable Alethea was
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1922-05-05

more, some of the most aristocratic
people l know are having breakfast
hooks in their kitchens and don't
ever intend to have breakfast in the
dining room. Isn't it perfectly won
derful?"
And of course, / agreed that it was
well that we could alter our customs
to suit the times without actually
lowering our standards. And she
went OH:
"And it is just the same with other
things. Tom doesn't in the least mind
having me have my men friends, and
I suppose he Keeps up with the girls
he used to know / go to dances
without him if I choose and accept
invitations from men to lunch-it is
all part of this new disregard for
conventions. It's just like paper nap
Eins-mother would have been horri-
fed at the idea of either, but mother
wasn't advanced"
And | suppose that there are some
other people who have this same
hazy notion of the conventions" but
there really is a vast difference be
tween the slight innovation that
changes our precise mode of having
breakfast or dinner and another limo
walton that means a radical change in
our notion of married life.
So we may change our manners with
regard to shaking hands; we might
give up hand shaking entirely, but
that would not mean that we might
change our basic ideas of friendship
and loyalty toward our friends.
If you have the gift of thinking
clearly you won't confuse these two
sorts of unconyentionality.
(Copyright)
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1922-05-05

uD ONT you think it is perfectly
- splendid the way we are get
ting away from conventions?" a gush-
ing young married woman asked the
other day. "Why, my mother would
have thought it was a disgrace to
serve dinner without a table cloth
and linen napkins, and she would
have thought we were going to land in
the poor house if we had had break
fast in the kitchen. But we have
given up table cloths entirely, laundry
is so expensive, and we never use
anything but paper napkins. What's
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1922-05-05
GALA LILY's COUSIN

ONE day little Jack-in-the-Pulpit
~ was telling the wild flowers about
him how wonderful was the world in
which they lived.
Just Think" he was saying, chow
fortunate are we to be out here grow
ing in the light and fresh air when
all those flowers we can see through
the big glass windows have to live in
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1922-05-05

side and never breathe the clear, crisp
air.
"And here we are close to this
stream and those poor dollhouse plants
have to wait until some one brings
water to them. We should be very
thankful for all our comforts"
Right near the window of the con-
servatory, which was what Jack meant
by the big glass windows, grew a
stately Gala Lily in big pot. She
often looked out at the modest wild
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1922-05-05

FLOUR-Hard spring wheat-Short pat
ents. S.. 1905. 20; special mill brands, IN 70
ID. cotton sacks, $875QS. 80; warehouse de-
livery. SO. 3009 IS. Soft winter wheat
short patents, S690Q6.95. Hard winter
wheat-Short patents. $7.6eQ77O Rye
f1our-White patents, 620; dark, $3.50
HAY-No. i timothy, $25.oO@2S.oo; No.
light clover mixed, S24.00Q25.oo; No
timothy. S23.O0@25.0O; No. / clover mixed
heavy clover mixed and No. l clover,
and No. mixed 81. 00Q23.00. No. l
and No. 2 clover mixed, $1S.00Q21,OOi No
timothy and sample hay, $l7.0OQ2o.OO.
BUTTER-Creamery, extras, 81 core.
CSC; higher scoring command premium;
firsts. 81 score, CSC; IS score, 341sQSlc;
seconds s $3.50 score, s1QS31kc; centralized,
CSC; ladies, 22Q23c; packing stock, loQlle.
Prices to retail trade: Tubs, 42c; prints,
EGGS Fresh firsts. 2a1Ac; ordinary
frsts 211lQ22c; micellaneous lots, 221s9
23c. extras, packed in Whitewood cases,
eandIed 2sg2sc c naeked zgsa2 sc ''ss
LIVE .POULTRY-Turkeys, 3oc; fowls,
2eibc: broilers. $4,000; ROSTERS. lie; ducks,
ICED. POULTRY Turkeys, 35QS6c;
| fowls, 27@2Sc; roosters, 19Q20c.
/ NEW PoTAT0Es-Per Dbl, S0.oog1 a'e
/ POTATOES - Per 100 lbs, northern.
round. white. $1.80Q2.00.
ONIONS s225Q2.50 per crate.
| CATTI .E-Prime steers. SS.S0Q9.25; good
to choice steehs. sS.o098.4O; feeding steers.
"a. 750t6.25: heifers, $600QS.00; yearlings.
fair to choice, $7.OoQ9.25; plain to choice
steers S5Oo06. Is; plain to choice cows,
| 81 o0G07. co: cannsre, $275@3.75; cutter, $3.50
also; bologna bulls, $4.O0Q4S5; good to
fancy calves, $6.oo49-oo. a
HOGS - Choice light butcher, $40. $50
10 60. medium weight butchers, s10.l6Q
1 1O.5o fair to fancy light, sloOOQ1o.6o;
heavy sa butchers, $1oOo91o.5O heavy pack
ing, So. 75110.5o; rough packing, $9.25Q975;
pigs, S900Q1035 1855
sHEEP-Good to choice lambs, $4,000
14.85: spring lambs $135oogg1ld7 90; yearllngs'
S6.ooQ9.50.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1922-05-05
AS Usual.

AS usual, my monthly allowance had
run short. Home went a telegram for
money, as usual. Back came a check
for half the amount | asked for as
usual. But l fooled them, for / had
asked for twice the amount l needed,
as al-Pennsylvania Punch Bowl.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1922-05-05
Prenared for Death.

The suburban lady heard an air
plane whizzing overhead. She called
Cottie, the. colored maid, to see it.
HAS you all ever been up in one Of
those contraptions, ma'am?"
The suburban lady said mo" and in
turn asked Cottie if she wouldn't enjoy
a ride in one.
"No, stree, ma'am,' she answered.
"Seems like when / went up that high,
I'd like to be ready to jes keep right
on going up"
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1922-05-05
Deliberately UnfriendIy.

''Why is Mr.. Grumpson so unpopu-
lar?"
Because he's eccentric"
eyes? ?"
"He carries around a pocket Bible.
When a golf player starts to tell about
his score Mr.. Grumpson takes the
Good Book out and asks him to lay
his right hand on it,"
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1922-05-05

cATTIE-Receipts, 2,7OO; choice 16025c
lower. others 15025c higher; shipping
steers, s7.6o@8.5o; butchers. s76o@8 so;
warnings, $500; heifers $5.760S; cows, S. 50
66.75; bulls. s3.7505.5O; stockers and
feeders, $5@6; fresh cows and springers'
cALvEs-Receipts. 2,8oo; 500 higher.
5000
HoGs-Receipts 1880; 2594oo lower;
heavy, s11@11.1o; mixed Sll.26Qll. 80 !;
i,,or,sers s11.856D115o; light workers. and
MICS. s11 4o0115o; roughs, scoops; stays.
ls50s.5o.
sheep active; lambs soc lower; yearlngs 81
lower; lambs, s6@15.25; yearlings, ss@1a;
iwethera $95o@1o; ewes, 5000; mixed sheep
$9Q9.5o.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1922-05-05
A LINE O. CHEER
BY John Kendrick Bangs.
TIE GET OF SPEECH

tn HE Gift OF Speech, the Golden
Il Tongue,
The words with which great
songs are sung,
Were not designed, l think, as
mere
Vehicles # the Gibe and Sheer,
But instruments with which to
voice
The hopes that maze the soul re-
joice,
And spread goodwill that earth
may be
garden fair of Amity.
(Copyright.)
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1922-05-05
PronrietY.

The gay Lothario, having been asked
to sing, approached the careful girl.
"WilI you accompany me on the
pianoY he asked.
mot without chaperon," answered
the careful girl.
Because she was very, very care-
full girl.-American Legion Weekly.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1922-05-05

Blue-sky laws can never be adequate
so long as there is so much blue sky
TO be sold.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1922-05-05

Vanity leaves its footprints on q
wOman's face.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1922-05-05
ALETHEA

Observation-Disclosures HMH NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. MMM
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1922-05-05

Uniforms are successful education
against patches.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1922-05-05
MINI EAPoLIs MARKETS.
CHICAGO MARKETS.

Grain, Provisions, Etc.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1922-05-05

z5z5a5z5z515z5z575z5aS75E757521a,z
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1922-07-01

to-gether like the opening day six
years ago when every member al
most went down for dinner. There
will probably be no large dinner
parties the sentiment being to 60
Dutch without formality and make
it a real club affair. The dancing
will start at $50 and the new Or
chestra will make its first appearance
and many will go to hear it. Mar
ston's orchestra of Rockland has been
engaged for the season and is sure
to please. Let every member make
it q point to attend this reunion and
it is well to make table reservations
early. Telephone to the Club.
Ira NJ. Cobe will arrive from New
York Saturday, coming over the road
accompanied by Charles E. Rogers.
G. B. Roberts Will join them in Eos-
ton, coming tohs home in Northport
for the weekend. Mr.. Cohe and Mr.
Rogers come for the summer. Mrs.
Rogers and Miss Louise will arrive
later and Miss Adeline Rogers came
earlier in the week. accompanying
Mrs Cobe and Mrs Frederick Hoff-
man of Chicago who arrived Tuesday
at Hillside Farms. Friends of Mrs.
Cobe will be pleased to hear that
she has convalesced from her very
serious operation of a year and is
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1922-07-01
SOME USE FOUND FOR
PORCUPINES ATLAST

Harrington, Me-. June 30-Conser
walton of the Maine forests is a big
item in these parts, and JethyL Snug.
who lives down on the Millbridge
road. is greatly interested in it. In
| fact. Jethro has u most novel method
OF conservation. Jethro is going to
smash the toothpick trust.
Dye ever stop to think" said
Jethto, what an immense amount Of
TIMBER is used up In manufacturing
!toothpicks year in and year out? No?
Y'nevcr did? Wei, l have. And I've
got a way to stop it.
Last winter a family OF porcu-
pines moved up near me and that
give me the idea. Each critter has
several hundred quilts on him, each
'of which is a perfect toothpick,
strong and flexible. I have been
raising porcupines since that time,
and have just completed arrange
ments with a large hotel concern to
take my entire output of toothpicks
for quite a time. After that time is
up l am going to put my product on
the market"
Thus another industry is added to
the already extensive list Of Maine
businesses. Probably in time the en-
tire country will be using Smug's
toothpicks, and the forests of the ma
ton will be safe.
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1922-07-01
BELFAST
Albert Morse Mourns Loss of
Car-COuntry Club Notes

With hundreds of new models and
expensive cars in the city, just why
anyone would make off with Albert
Morse's 1915 Ford is beyond COM
Drehension but this was done Thurs
day night and as MIR. Morse needs
it in his business he has reported it
to Sheriff Frank A. Littlefield, who
is on the lookout for the thief. The
car is peculiarly marked and cannot
fail to be recognized even should the
number plates be changed for it is
painted a brownish yellow with a
black hood. 1t has two smooth tires
in front and two Goodrich in back.
The plate numbers are 1854 and the
engine number is 51515.
About one o'clock Thursday night
man was seen trying to start car
of this description down in the lower
part of the city. He wore a gray
cap, shirt with khaki trousers. The
car was stolen from Congress street
and pushed down the hill it is be-
lieved. 1t has been traced TO the
Memorial bridge and is supposed to
have gone in the direction OF Ban
gor.
Members of the Northport Coun-
try Club are looking forward to the
opening night next Thursday. July
9Th, when a special salmon dinner
will be served at $50. followed by
dancing. According to the present
outlook this will be a rousing get