The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1922-03-23

q q q
A Kansas district judge has de-
clared the jackass to be in the same
musical class with pianos and phon-
ographs Whittier, may be ask, are
we drifting?
An Emmett man died and went to
heaven. As he was about to enter
the pearly gates he espied q. number
of angels chained to the alabaster
walls. The man was much struck
by the sight and inquired OF St. Peter
its meaning. "Oh, those people are
all from Emmett" said st. Peter, |
land if we didn't chain them they
would all go back home"
An Iowa man reports finding in his
cellar mouse that sang like a ca
nary bird. He got off easy. We
know a man who when he visited a
cellar not 50 long ago saw green
elephant that flew like a humming
bird.
4 4
The allowance of S8755 for a
working girls upkeep, as announced
by Kansas man as being sufficient,
may be reduced $3.50 by eliminating
the night gowns. There is no law
to prohibit working girl from sleep
ing in her underwear.
A man with bandaged lip walking
along the street was stopped by
stranger who inquired: whats the
matter with your lip?" Well, growl-
ID the bandaged man, | asked too
many fool questions about other peo-
,le's business. and they cut it off,
4 q 4
Did you ever think, as you grow
I'D, that in place of what the Lord
axes away of youthful strength He
eplaces by the wisdom Of experience;
hat as the visions of youth fade He
ives something infinitely better in
he vision of age?
Just at this time we are more con-
erned about the number of peaches
nd cherries and aprieots and pears
nd apples and watermelons that En-
lett will produce this year than about
lie number Of homeruns Babe Ruth
i'll hit. As we rate it, one bushel
either of them is worth BAT home
ms to US.
Responding to parental orders to
, to bed, a l3-year-old boy started to
srobe and observed: 81 wonder how
any times I've dressed and undress-
in my life." And how many boys
ID girls, we wonder, have figured
the old problem in practical arith-
atie: "lf you are 10 years old and
ould live to be three score and ten,
d you spent five minutes three
mes a day in washing your face
d combing your hair, how much
ne would you put in doing it,"
& e q
Johnny's mother couldn't go with
n to church, so she charged him to
member the text so he could repeat
to her when he came home. The =
t was: AN angel came down from
wen and took live coal and placed
on the altar" When he came
ne his mother asked him if he re-
mbered the text. He said, Eyes.
Indian came down from heaven
caught . wild colt by the tail
jerked it out Of the halter"
q q q
! doctor sent a sample of sputum
! patient to the health department
e examined The examination was
le in due time. A clerk phoned
physician that it showed "posi-
!" Another clerk wrote him that
bowed negative" The physician
ed up and asked which was right.
nd US another sample" replied the
ert, "and we will make another
mination." Cant do it." replied
physician. "The patient is dead"
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hose high priced eersets which en-
s one almost to the knees are
onsible for some embarrassing
atoms sometimes. At recent
party fat lady dropped card.
made several Intellectual attempts
lex it up. Finally, with a purple
she gasped out: "Will someone
ring 81 corset kindly pick up
card for me?"
q e 4
. was a genius. There was no
t about it. His hair was long
there was a dreamy, far away
in his eyes, and he had scheme
would make him rich--rich be-
the dreams of avarice. what
BUR scheme asked a friend,
ing the secret information. Come