The Denver Jewish news., 1922-02-15

Written for the Jewish News by Maxwell
NJ. Levy with acknowledgements 7. L. c..
OF course you know Smith-he is
your neighbor. Smith considers him
self a philanthropist and desires to
think nothing but kindly and noble
thoughts of his fellow men.
Unfortunately, Smith does not like
the Scotch, as they are penurious, and
from the pictures he has seen of
Harry Lauder and other great SCOTCH
men. they wore skirts and this should
he enough to prejudice any practical
American man against the Scotch and
sides. Smith says that the Scotch are
all right but tough bunch to do
business with. and damn it. they al
ways seem to get the best of bar
gain.
Now, when it comes to the English.
4. is impossible for Smith to say n
kind word for Johnny Bull Here is
n nation to laugh at, with the drop
ping of their he's, carrying canes and
always acting like heightened gentle
men. 1t is true Smith would have to
confess that he never met an English
man in all his life. but hadn't he
seen bunch of shows (written by
Americans) that taught him just what
an Englishman looked like. how they
acted and what they did? Smith con
Sidered that he understood the Eng
lish like book; he even admitted
this to his best friends.
And the French-"Now there's a
disgusting nation for you,' Smith
used to say, tickle, vain and the most
immoral nation on earth: nation of
absinthe drinkers and degenerates !"
Smith had little to say about the
running of his household, but he did
take credit for one thing: he would
never permit a French book to come
into his home. He is fond of telling
how one of his children once brought
French writer by the name of Byron
or some such name-and how he
gave the child an awful calling down
and wrote letter to the library about
it, telling them amongst other things
that such books should not be per-
mitted in the library. They might be
all right for the ignorant, degenerate
French child, but not for our pure
American boy and girl. At another
time, as deacon of his church, he in
sisted that one of his church broth
crs dispose of set of Oscar Wilde.
Smith always stated that there was a
French write- not fit to be in any
American bookcase.
Smith boosted of the fact that while
he considered himself successful bust
ness man. he had only read three
books in all his Iife-Dunn's. Brad
streets and the Telephone Directory.
Smith doesn't like the Italians. n
nation of carlic-easters. who like spa
ghetti better than pie, They are II
damn excitable nation made up of
fruit vendors and Black Hand socie-
ties. Besides the Italians never pro-
duced n great man anyway and he
defied any of his friends to point out
one. with the possible exception OF
Napoleon, and he was murderous
dog. When someone timidly mention
cd the name of Caruso. Smith flew
up with righteous Indignation and told
him pointblank to his face. that that
was the trouble with American condi-
lions today, having these spaghetti
their fool music. We pretend to he
highbrows: we spend too much time
with that highbrow stuff instead of at
tending to business. Most of the Amer,
lean chiltlren are being ruined by CIV
ing them a heightened education. chief
ly in music and other foreign stuff.
Foreigners come over here. take our
money away. and make mOllycoddles
out of four children. and this is what
cinks like CarusO have done for Amer
lea
OF course Smith hates the Germans
for humanitarian reasons, but his pet
aversion is the Jew, whom he detests
and mistrusts. for it is well known
that no one can ever penetrate the
mind of IA jew man. and when you
don't know what man is thinking
about, You are justified in thinking
his thoughts are evil.
Besides, everyone knows that Jews
are money-lovers and misers clannish
and keep to themselves. They come
to this country paupers. and as soon
as they make little money, they buy
flashy clothes. see all the best shows
buy automobiles and homes, appear