The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1922-07-24
StalzC11t Men of Nezgfane
Push Through Gas Ba9Yuge
Skunk Army, so Formidable
State Department
Takes Hand
Especial to The Reformer.)
NEWFANE. July

Il
This peaceful village has had its usual
calm destroyed Invaders have at
tempted to take possession. and at one
time it looked as if the town fathers
might be forced to abdicate and the in
habitants fee for safety, but few
brave hearts have rallied and organized
for resistance. and the enemy has already
suffered loss, known deaths numbering
10. ! . Z siHs
Armed men patrol the streets. and gum
shots disrupt the evenings calm. Fair
maidens go forth Mt eyentide only when
accompanied by armed escorts carrying
flashlights. So far death has visited
only the ranks of the invaders, but sew
eral brave defenders have had very mar
row escapes. Tie enemy has used poison
gas freely in his night attacks, and gas
masks are at a premium. He has now
dug in" apparently for a siege, but out
side advice and encouragement have been
given and the war against the invaders
Notwithstanding they are strong, Will be
waged to the bitter end.
4 few weeks ago the carnage began.
Wild shrieks and squawking at night
brought half-awakened househoiders
tumbiing from their beds. DaZedly they
dressed, wondering what could be the
matter. Lights were hurriedly lit; and
loaded guns seized, and the hOnseholders
sailed bravely forth into the night to
defend their families and their property,
only to be met by gas barrage that
caused even the strongest men to wayer.
Then there rushed In upon their minds
tie first intimation as to the identity
of the dastardly attackers. Brave men
though they were extreme caution
fI,fats
on. but persistentJy they sought out the
enemy, and at every glimpse of his hor-
rid form shots rang out.
Many innocent chickens have died,
and quite a few skunks have bit the dust
with a wave of smell that arose to high
heaven, or more, but the end is not yet.
Many of the leading citizens have scored
a kill, either by trap or gun, and some
have several notches on their weapons.
Others are harboring whole ltters OF
skunks upon their premises and may
have to be tried for treason. One we'll
known citizen, noted for his truth and
yeracity, tells of seeing as many as 10
or dozen skunks in day perambulat-
ing about the business center. Others
report seeing lesser numbers, but they
are people not out so late nights, or SO
early mornings.
Taken all together, the villagers have
had absolutely too much in the skunk
line, and wall of anguish was let loose
that reached by slow stages as far as
the state capital, whence has come per
mission TO stretch, under supervision of
the local representative of the fish. and
game department, the usual laws, rules
and regulations governing the conduct
of skunks, so that the people may, as
soon as possible, be relieved from the UNI
pleasant situation in which they find
themselves, but each property owner Is
warned to look after his own disinfect-
ing, and furnish his own deodorizer.
All this aforesaid being thus, it is con-
fidently expected that within a short time
il will again be perfectly safe for any
young man to take his best girl out
strolling on balmy evenings upon any
street in this pleasant little village.
The public in general is asked to re-
member one thing: There is absolutely
no truth in the rumor that the selectmen
have voted to re-christen this village
Skunks' Misery.