The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1922-04-25
RUFF STUFF

unable 70 attend the
performance, Run stuft1 gratei1i.
W acknowledges the recent al a
comp 70 the preliminary showing a.
The 4 Etc. yeStermorn. bnt a..
stres TO remand The GIlded Violet
that a complimentary ticket Is q
poor sop when % simoleons had
been agreed upon.
Fairmont's high.brows are today
Engaged in the serious task of Al.
tempting to decide whether to PRO.
nounce 1t "Polka.Lisst" or "Pokeh.
Chips"
A. B, C. wires us that the thtr6
time the musician stood I'M and
stretched himself It was the gen.
eral belief in the audience that the
correct pronunciation was "Total.
Eclipse"
5. T. N. says he likes the play
better than the book. He had 10
give the latter up, he declares, after
he had waded through 200 pages OF
reading matter and hadn't come
to a single one Of the Four Horse.
men.
Heard in the Y. W. catateer:
Yeah, you know-it's bout thin.
Frinch birds. There's four Of them
riders in 1t: D'Artagnan, Athos.
Porthos and Aramis."
Note that The Gllded Violet has
insured THE Quartet Of Gallopers''
against loss by rain. After sitting
through 2M hours OF interesting
rod sulfur, blue birthstone and pur.
pie hell, he feel inclined to suggest
that he also insure It against fire.
wrich reminds US Of the initial
story again. The one about the
hotel. you know. Like this:
The busy man had sent his agent
to investigate a hotel offered for
sale with instructions to wire him
at once. The agent did so, as fol.
lows:
proposition o. X. Am offered
special price. $4,000, on Q. T. II
you want It, wire P. D. O."
After puzzling over the message
for some time, the busy man ap.
pealed to his stenographer, who
translated the code In no time at
all. Thinking 1t some sort OF a
game, the busy man decided to an
swer in initials also, and wired.
&c. T. H." meaning Get the no.
tel" He was surprised In an hour
or two to receive the following re.
&c. T. H, yourseif!"
Only thirty seconds allowed to
figure that one opt, as our frlcEl
Sam Lloyd would remark.
Publicity Edition" doesn't ap.
peal to us as being particularly at.
tractive. OF course, that is what
It Is to be, but why not get a clever
title. something that will make the
IL. b. N. turn away from shls nh.
stracts and coupon.clipping (if they
do clip coupons in these strenuous
times) and read and re-read tn
special number OF The West Viz.
,glnian?
Why not the, "see Fairmont
FIRST" number? We do want to
see Fairmont F1RST-first in COOL
ptreets, first as a railroad center,
first asa manufacturing town, first
as IN uuequaled place to live in
and first among the cities Of West
Virginia. Lets see Fairmont
FIRST!
"oh. we're seeing Falrmont
FIRST, all right" comments x. Y.
H., sarcastically, after perusing the
foregoing; "first in the number Of
sneak.thief robberies, first in the
number Of bacteria to the c. m. OF
city water, first in the lack OF low
! freight rates., first In the need for
a new B. & o. Railroad station and
first in the number Of auto smash.
ups on Sunday evening"
II X. Y. z. would only turn tina.
record over perhaps there might be
a more cheerful song on the other
side. N'est.ce pas?
We've just been wondering what
some unsoDhitticated foreigner who
could speak English but who knows
nothing OF American sport would
think were he to pick up any self.
respecting sporting sheet and read
these headlines: Giants Murder
dodgers, Free Singing Match
Chicago Hons on Rixey in the
Seventh" Senators Whitewasn
Tigers. Register Complete FreezA.
out" and Cardinals win in Ninth
| nm pi0et, EIf and Ft1,ka