Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1922-12-13

What do you know about Czecho-
Slovakia?
It's hard to say.
4 4
Sound OFF
Sheriff Young man, you must ac-
company me-"
Moonshine Mike-"Aw rite, Offish-
er, what1l we sing
Sheriff" Sing Sing"
4 n 4 y
A Happy Thought
A lady who kept little curly poodle
lost her pet and called on the police to
find it. The next day one of the force
came with the dog very wet and dirty.
The lady was overjoyed and asked
a number of silly questions, one being:
Where did you find my darling :"
why, ma am" said the officer, "a
fellow had him on pole and was
washing windows with him"
Confidential
He-Do you like my moustache? :.
She-Well, between you and l, yes.
Echo Answers
.She-Fess up, now, that you men
like laxative women as well as you
like others.
He-What others?
Rapid Fire Repartee
"Hey! You there with the sorrel
topl" snarled a customer in the rapid
fire restaurant. my orders been in
twenty minutes and / don't want to
wait all day for it. See?"
what you want amt what you
ueedI" retorted Claudine. the waitress.
'@You need a book of etiquette. If
manners had been raining down from
Heaven forty days and nights, you'd
still be rube. Try that on your can
ary!"
Which Served Very Well
This check is doubtless all right"
said the bank cashier politely, "but,
have you anything about you by
which you could be identified"
The pretty young thing faltered: II
have mole on my left elbow"
The Mad Race
"Dressi Dress" the deacon impa-
tiently exploded. "That's all the mod
ern girl thinks about-dress. It's a
mad race after fashion"
"Verily," replied the pastor. Every
girl is trying to outstrip the other"
The Polite Dub
"Why is Fred in disgrace with Mar
guerite, Mayme?"
"He rose hastily when her mother
entered the parlor."
"WelI, gentleman should rise"
"And dropped the girl on the floor"
~ q
Mum
Lang-"Is it possible to confide a
secret in your"
Whelan--"Certainly. / will be as
silent as the grave"
Lang-"Well, then, have pressing
need for two bucks"
Whelan-"Worry not, my friend. 1t
is as if had heard nothing"
FREE
A lawyer was refending a burglar
accused of burglary, or house-break-
ing.
II submit, your honor, said the lay
yer, stthat my client did not break into
the house at ALL He merely saw a
window, inserted his arm, and remov
ed few articles. Now, mr. clients
arm is not himself. Why punish his
whole body when his arm is tne guilty
member?"
"That argument is well put" said
the Judge. 81 sentence the arm to
twelve months imprisonment. The
man can accompany it or not, as he
chooses"
The prisoner smiled, took off his
wooden arm, and walked out.
The extremely thin woman in the
street car resented the stout woman's
crowding her, and turning to her re-
marked, "They ought to charge by
weight in this car" The stout woman
looked at her contemptuously and re-
marked quickly" Well if they did, they
did, they wouldn't stop for you at all. :
The Bee Man
There was a man who loved the bees
He always was their friend,
He used to sit upon their hives
But they stung him in the end.
| A Sent-sible Explanation
You said you'd never go and see
Alice again until she sent for you
And now hear you sent for her.
It doesn't matter cent who sent.
sent to see if she's sent, and she sent
to say she had not sent, but would
have sent to see if I'd sent if / hadn'i
sent to see if she's sent first.-Bostor
Transcript.
| -
"Just thnikl When old Doc Snod.
grass was examining my heart action
with stethoscope yesterday he all o.
sudden calls out, Hello! Hellol Lis
this central q Exchange.
- -
The Old Education
The children were telling a visiotl
what they studied at school.
ar, said the eldest, "get reading
| spelling, and definitions"
"And what do You get, my little
man ~ said the visitor, addressing the
littlest one, who had listened in Dor
ed way while the others recited then
| lists.
aOh,I dts readin' ,spellin' and spank.
in"