davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1922-12-26
WORDS FROM |
THE LIPS OF |
w is E NJ E n |

"HE nick OF time is now.
L In loved labor there is rest.
There Is strength in II will
Punctuality is the soul Of bust.
ness.
The worst tyranny is liberty
run mad.
For the rose the thorn is often
plucked.
II you laugh at others, others
will laugh at you.
There are more faults in the
humor than in the mind.
1t IL the summit of humility to
bear the imputation OF pride.
That charity which longs to
publish itself ceases to be char
ity.
The wise man never works. In
the daytime he Is too busy. and
at night he is too tired.
1t II fearful mistake to be-
lieve that because our wishes are
not accomplished they can do no
harm.
The first ingredient In conver.
sation is truth; the next. good
sense; the third, good humor, ana
the fourth, wit.
He is happy whose circum.
stances suit his temper, but he Is
more excellent who can suit his
temper to any circumstances.
He who loves not books before
he Is thirty years old will hardly
love them enough afterward to
understand them.
Copyright, 1922. by Newspaper Feature
Service, 1nc.)
The Washington times., 1922-12-26
BERLIN ISLIKE|
BIG VOLCANO.l |
SAYS SAGE |

DERLIN-Berlin has fallen foul
Of the aphorists, and when
- this happens to a city IL be.
tokens the achievement OF either
celebrity or notoriety. Heinx Pol.
lax. the aphorist in this case.
knows his present day Berlin at
first hand and allows his wit to
sparkle in the following pungent
phrases:
Berlin is like a dirty towel.
which those with hygienic in
stincts are careful to use only
around the edges.
Berlin is like the miserly rich
man living from hand to mouth:
the hypochondriac pleading for a
remedy: parvenu signing for
the days that are gone.
Berlin is like a volcano not yet
fully in action.
Berlin is like a juggler bal.
ancing himself on a tightrope,
playing with empty peafowls'
eggs, and looking down with con-
tempt at the public.
Berlin Is like an overfilled the.
ater in which the public Is
obliged to stand because the man.
agement has forgotten to provide
seats.
Berlin il like the most fas.
cinating chanson Of which the
refrain is lacking.
Berlin is like a hard nut on
which everyone breaks a tooth.
Berlin is like the mouth Of an
effervescing bottle OF soda water
with a close.fittins rubber stop
per.
Berlin Is like a vampire with
claws of papler mache.
Berlin Is sleeping beauty.
surrounded by a hedge built OF
undreamed possibilities.
Berlin Is a woman who dares
not show herself on the streets for
fear the men will insult her.
Berlin is like scintillating fire.
works set of in a snowstorm.
The Washington times., 1922-12-26
WAS discussing national tenn = clergy @

clergy Of the city combined, but
none OF 1t ever penetrated his
mind. 1t seemed to me to be like
an orator winding himself up like
a baseball pitcher and then when
the audience expects something
profound, inspiring and soul-stir-
ring he shouts: Water Is wet!'
For people who like that sort
Of thing, well, that's exactly the
sort Of thing they would like. as
Mark Twain would say. Clap
trap 10 not confined to pulpits or
platforms. The Chautauqua mind
Is more susceptible to its baleful
influence than either preacher or
politician. The famous "Cross Of
gold, crown Of thorns" sentence
was claptrap, so was the word
"normalcy."
Chief FOmentor OF War.
The publicity agent uses clap
trap as building material to build
a bridge over which his client
walks into the limelight. and the
clients stay there will depend
upon his box Of tricks in the use
Of words.
Literature. ancient and mod.
ern. is full Of it. The great ora
tors and statesmen throve on II.
1t has been the chief fomentor of
war in all ages. Thrones and
dynasties have been overthrown
by an epidemic Of it. 1t decides
elections. makes and unmakN
governments. and sustains in OF,
flee men who know how to make
a judicious use of 1t.
1t is a claptrap age. 1t is the
oil that greases the machinery
by which millions get a living.
As a living depends less and less
upon brute cunning. we will sea
son our conversation more and
more with spiritual things and
claptraps will disappear from
lack Of use.
The Washington times., 1922-12-26

= ONDON.-Lately we have de-
parted from the axiom that
IL "the Queen OF Spain has no
legs" The modern Queens OF
Beauty are judged chiefly by
their neatly turned ankles, or the
reverse.
The dawn of the short skirt
was indeed blessing to the
plain girl with the comely ankle
and the shapely leg, whereas the
new era, that Of the longer skirt,
may prove her downfall. The
woman with the pretty counte-
nance and thick ankles will come
Into her own once more. Yet the
importance of being well shod is
perhaps not fully realized. How
many a charming gown is marred
by an Indifferent pair of shoes?
BY unsightly stockings? 1t puts
one in mind of the advertisement
OF the boot polish, IF you show
shoes. show smartly shined
Shoes
There Is a world Of wisdom in
this. A great many men Judge
a woman solely by the shape of
her foot and the shoes she wears.
Some start their survey with a
girls footgear, and often never
get as far as her face!
Feet do denote character. lust
as much as hands and faces. A
man once sat by mirror facing
on the street, in which only the
lower portion of the passers.by
could be observed. 1t was a rev.
elation! Sitting in the lounge of
any hotel, 1t Is interesting to
study feet and speculate as to
their owners antecedents. their
The Washington times., 1922-12-26
Pilgrims Statue
Is Planned

r ONDON.-America and Brit
ishers are cooperating In a
- movement to erect an impos.
ing monument on the south side
of the River Humber, on the east
coast OF England, to mark the
spot from whence the Pilgrim
Fathers departed for New Eng.
land.
Mr.. ]. Gront. United States con.
sui at Hull, states In connection
with the scheme that he has re.
ceived q large block Of granite
from Plymouth, New England.
which had been cut from the orig
inal spot on which the Pilgrims
landed. and It was hoped to In
clude this In the monument. which
would take the form of an obelisk,
and would serve az miniature
Statue Of Liberty to ships sailing
up the Humber.
The Washington times., 1922-12-26
Risk Tampering|
With Radio Wires|

EFIANCE. Ohio Radio
Observation-Disclosures local
youngsters who watch for
"a chance to steal little wire from
someone's radio outfit-have been
warned by X. A. Duerk, well.
known operator and manufacturer
or radio equipment here, that
radio wires often carry much more
current than boy anticipates.
Aside from the wrong in steal
ing said Duerk, boys often risk
their lives while stealing fifty
cents worth Of wire"
He said he narrowly averted
turning a powerful charge into
certain wires Of his experimental
equipment when he saw two boys
in the act OF tsealing wire.
The Washington times., 1922-12-26

WAS discussing national tenn
peraments with Lloyd George
one day when he was prime
minister Of England. Speaking of
his own people, he said: 1.-THE
Welsh like speaking for speak.
ing's sake"
But that wasn't because they
were Welsh. pointed out to
him. but because they were Gel.
tic. and the same thing could be
said Of the Irish.
Claptrap Is speech that is all
clapper and no bell. 1t 10 q mus
tard seed Of thought producing
q rumbling thunder Of sound. 1t
Is piffle or drivel veneered with
seriousness. piety or patriotism.
The vocabulary of patriotism
is largely claptrap. 1t is the ce-
ment that holds together the
walls Of our social zions. 1t is
the cream used at our pink teas.
In advertising. 1t is a fine art
and a lucrative profession. In
politics 1t is three.fourths Of the
stock in trade; in religion it is
our chief soporific, and the queer
thing about 1t is that we rather
like II.
We like 1t beca use most of US
are overstocked with secondhand
Intellectual furniture. Our minds
are cluttered with junk. Few of
us have courage to do any origi.
nal thinking. We have the ca
pacity, but we fool ourselves into
the belief that we haven't.
The other day I received a DOS
tai card from a woman. who, in
referring to an article of mine
In which I deplored the lack of
pulpit orators in New York. sug-
gested that / hear her minister
or apologize to him. Well,
heard him. He Is a fine talker,
but he never says anything. He
has moro limelight than half the
The Washington times., 1922-12-26
PhOsphorescent P Jewels for Pearl Dance
Worn By Prima Donna and Ballet

One OF the most remarkable
sights ever presented to a thea
ter audience. says Fl. A. Lane, In
the January Popular Mechanics
Magazine, Is the display Of lumi-
nous pearls on the gowns worn
by a prima donna and ten ballet
girls of a musical comedy. The
pearls are used in a scene as a
climax to a pearl song" rem
dered by the prima donna. For
this scene, the stage hangings are
black and the costumes Of the
ballet are also Of a black ma
terial. As the singer completes
her number and retires into the
wings Of the stage, the ballet girls
appear in their pearl.bedecked
gowns. The prima donna then
reappears for an encore. and the
lights are suddenly extinguished.
The audience is amazed as 1t
sees nothing in the blackness ex.
cept the designs and figures on
the costumes. the pearls standing
out in clear relief with a green.
ish-white glow. Neither the faces
nor the arms Of the performers
are visible as they stand in the
darkness. moving slightly to and
fro to heighten the effect. When
the encore is finished, the lights
arc switched on and the scene
The Washington times., 1922-12-26

assumes its natural aspect, moth.
ing strange being seen on the cos.
tunes. as the curtain shuts them
from view. A glimpse behind the
scenes some forty-five minutes be-
fore this pearl number is put
on, however, reveals the care
taker Of these costumes gingeriy
removing them from a specially
designed trunk. The trunk II
thickly padded with cotton to
prevent damage to the pearl-trim-
med dresses, which contain $780,
900 pearls Of various sizes and
are insured for 100000. After
the gowns are removed from the
trunk they are hung on the wall
Of the dressing room, and a bat.
terry of powerful arc lamps Is
trained upon them. For twenty
minutes they are subjected to the
dazzling glare Of the lamps, while
the attendant painstakingly ar.
ranges and turns them so that
each part will receive a full share
Of the illumination.
At the end Of this period, the
ballet girls appear and don the
costumes. Then, with their eyes
protected by black goggles, they.
too, stand In the brilliant light,
slowly turning round and round
before the lamps, awaiting their
cue to enter the stage.
The Washington times., 1922-12-26
Guards Protect Elks
Rites Held Outdoors

CINCINNATI-Recent initiation
exercises held by the Cincinnati
Elks are said to be unique In the
annals of the lodge in that they
were held In the open during an
outing at Laughery Island. A spe-
cial dispensation had to be OBJ
tained from the grand lodge for
the innovation and a Gordon of
guards was thrown out to hold the
curious uninitiated at a safe dis
tance from the spot where the
rites were observed.
The Washington times., 1922-12-26
A Handle to Your Name
1t Softens the Wild Radical, Bolsters Power.

Mr. Thomas Of England, plain very rich commoner
dealing in ships coal and other things He worked for the
government in They made him Vscount Rhondda He's
dead and his daughter Lady Rhondd by right should be the
first lady to sit in the House of Lords
Besides being the Coal Queen of England if admitted to
The Lords she would be peer sitting, voting deciding
whether the lower human beings in the House of
shall have their way in awmaking.
One great advantage Of royalty its ability make and
keep faithful servants by putting handle to the servants
name Napoleon did with his red ribbon Of the Legion
Honor and said truly with small piece of ribbon can
make a wild democrat into imperialist."
Over here it is not simple It takes fortune to change
radical into conservative But the fortune does it usually
most effectively.
The Washington times., 1922-12-26
u. Probes Case
of Somerset

r IMMIGRATION authorities at
Ellis Island have been asked
Il by the Department OF Labor
to supply 1t with additional records
and documents in the deporta-
ton proceedings pending against
Pat Somerset, the English actor
friend OF Edith Day. Certain pa
pers in the case. which Secretary
OF Labor Davis regards as i'm
portant to a complete review of
1t, were not included in the record
that was transmitted here by the
officials at Ellis Island.
Indications point to an order by
the Department Of Labor to send
Somerset out of the country.
However, this ection will not be
taken until all Of the documents
have been studied by officials of
the department, and until II is
made certain that Somerset will
not be able through court action TO
set aside the departments ruling
and indefinitely prolong his stay
in the United States.
The Washington times., 1922-12-26
Americans Are Not MOujiks


| Monroe Doctrine for All the World" Does /
| ...t Not Appeal to This Nation II
Monsieur Augustn Hamon able French economist knows
little about the United States in general the average
bushman trigonometry But he right in his
statement that this the most reaconary country in the
world
The suggestion-impudent and amazng-that public Of
fcals should people hand the money Europe
proves it,
The Gear said he would fight the last moujk" But
that Russia and Russia vitality interested in
fighting. And, by the way, where Is the Czar?
This country has nothing do with the fights Of Europe
the billions spent for standing armies to do fighting the
struggle for eastern oil lands and all the rest
Yet American bankers and officials with all the impert
and stupidity Of many talk Of using Amerioan
dollars and though this autocracy instead Of
. republic.
the died. and Kemal Sultan there
has been government compare with Government in
its assumption of autocratic powers
What right has ANYBODY at Washington to give lend
to foreigners dollar of money belonging the people until
the people have voted on the propostion7
Woodrow Wilson, in the excitement of sudden metamor
president to governor to United
States President United States President to world dictator
and benefaco-ndorsed the League of Nations that would
have made responsible for everything
He said the League of Nations an application of the
Monroe Doctrine to the whole world
For parallel imagine woringman, responsible for his
children scattering his in the crowd saying I'm
hcappying the doctrine Of family responsibility to the
whole world"
Mr. Wilson i'll at the time his early complete break
down showed and under of considerable excitement
when he found pictures of Europe national heroes and
Of divine beings taken down to make for pictures of Mr.
Wilson.
blame but rather Congress- that abdicated
ignored the Constitution and in cowardy fashion made much
excited and sick man DICTATOR OF THE UNITED STATES.
Now the is overfor Europe chooses keep
to maintain great armies to impose impossible burdens
beaten nations fight for each others land oil and
Have WE anything to do with all that? Are WE re-
sponsible?
And who the in office that will have the impudence
to decide fo- people that shall be
pay Euopes fighting bills? Whoever tries that will get
lesson from the voters that will make the million
plurality against Mr.. Wilson's world application Of the
Monroe doctrine seem like child play
This nation intends to have a government FOR THE
UNITED STATES not for all Christendom all heathendom
and it WILL HAVE that kind of government.
Americans not moujiks and their dollars belong to
them any provincial bashaw temporarily in office
J. Dol;co Hnpcoc ~ Tsoff;C II
The Washington times., 1922-12-26

While marriage brings out the
good side OF men and women, II
also. sad to admit. brings out the
worst,
The Washington times., 1922-12-26

The way to get a thing done in
to say 1t can't be done. and then
the right man will spit on his
hands and do II.
The Washington times., 1922-12-26
DIR. ALEXANDER IRVINE
ON CLAPTRAP
~ ~

Too much of modern
oratory and litera-
ture m a d e up of
high sou n d j n g
words t h a t really
mean nothing and
4 can have no effect.
Vocabulary of pa
triotisn especially
defective in this
way.
~ ~
The Washington times., 1922-12-26
And They Don't Want Any Autocrat in Office Ladling
Out Their Dollars to Europe. Woodrow Wilson's
Monroe Doctrine for All the World" Does
...t Not Appeal to This Nation.

Monsieur Augusin Hamon, able French economist knows
little about the United States in general the average
bushman about trigonometr But he right in his
that this the reactonary country in the
world.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1922-06-08
EXERCISE FOR ADULTS
eEoReE. o. FIsAER, N. %.

THE history
n bodily
half the body weight
part of his being Furthermore his development
the
They related
nected with the body
BRAIN
Digestion
hhby
the
feeling the results nt important points.
Now today
STILL and
be physically
We should with activity Walking
Note how quickly rapid walking body bending Affects breathing the
such indigestion duiness OF the head
Inactivity
week. calsthns and daily
regularly result tendency
toward colds
weight o mld-fe shallow breathing
OF too
the bodily
TO should
with the head risi and back slightly arhed; when
this is done Il helps the body in these positions
who
Rrbting
cold viii relieve the
lozted between
shoulders and shd
copy Boy
and Endurance Eoodd daily
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1922-06-08
Cooling Moth Control
(Bv LEROY Childs)

Regardless of the fact that much
bot weather has prevailed recently the
egg laying Of the codling moths has up
to the present time been of little con-
sequence. Present development indi-
Gates that it will be necessary to spray
before June IL. In case any changes
Of this date are necessary. growers
will be advised.
The growers of the Pine Grove dis
trict and Lower East Side should exer-
else much diligence this season in or
der to cut down the losses that occur
red last year. In order to accomplish
this the Experiment Station will re-
commend two sprays for the first brood
OF worms in order to catch the early
and late stfagglers. Growers must re-
member that spraying too early is just
as bad as spraying too late. Both will
result IN poor control For this rea-
son all growers who were bothered last
season should try to get their spray on
at just the right time. Remember
that high pressure and the use of plen-
~ Of spray material accompanied by
thorough work Is necessary il results
are TO be obtained. Lead should be
used at the rate Of two pounds to 100
gallons. The use II Caseinate Spread
er used at the rate Of one pound TO the
zoo-gaiion tank rs also recommended.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1922-06-08
PILGRIM CHORUS TO
BE HERE VERY SOON

The sacred concert to be gwen one
week from next Sunday evening by
the Pilgrim Chorus of $50 boys. prom
ises to be one of the most unique and
delightful entertainments ever given
in Hood River. The Pilgrim Boys
Chorus is made up of individual boys
choirs which are singing regularly in
various churches. including Presbyter-
ian, Congregational and Episcopal.
These units are brought together once
week for large group rehearsals and
have. under this plan, given some very
successful concerts. The chorus has
the leading boy singers of Portland in
its membership and among them two
or three noted ssoloists. The program
will consist of chorus singing, sclos,
duets, etc.
The trip to Hood River is an annual
outing given to the boys by the spon-
sors of the chorus. They are coming
to Hood River at nominal charge
which figures less than 81 per boy and
which means their concert-is given by
the boys of one community for the
benefit of the boys of another.
The undertaking is being arranged
and financed by the Riverside Recrea-
tion Committee and any surplus will be
used for the work at the boys camp.
1t is planned to begin the concreting
of the swimming pool at the camp inn
mediately and it is hoped that enough
will be realized on the concert to pay
for this community project.
The place of holding the concert has
not been definitely decided yet, but am
will appear Immediately.
The tickets will be sold, it is under
stood. at 50 cents and effort will be
made to get the support of the entire |
county.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1922-06-08
NOTABLE DELEGATION
COMING TO VALLEY

According to announcement of ]. H.
Fredricy, the Hood River valley will
entertain number of notable delega-
tions this summer. Mr.. Fredricy stated
at the meeting of members of the
Commercial Club Monday night that
l75 residents of Houston, Tex, are ex-
pected to arrive here in the near fu-
ture. They will breakfast in Hood
River, see the valley and travel thence
by automobile over the Columbia River
Highway to Portland. The Texas
tourists will be on the way toaAlaska.
The announcement of the coming
here September Fl Of about 200 travel
ing passenger agents of eastern rail-
way 1lines, however, aroused the
greatest enthusiasm. These visitors,
in the west to attend convention at
Vancouver, B. c., will be brought over
the Highway as far as MuItnomab
Falls by the Portland Chamber of
Commerce. The local club men will
meet them at the falls and bring them
by automobile. Following a tour of
the orchards. the visitors will be taken |
to the Columbia Gorge Hotel for
luncheon.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1922-06-08

All previous publicity concerning the
Citizens Military Training Camp to be
held at Camp Lewis, from July % TO
August 25, has contained the statement
that all applications must be received
st these headquarters before May 81.
Since the quotas from Oregon and
Washington, 400 and 600 respectively,
have not been furnished. the War De
partment has been obliged TO extend
the time. The time for receiving APP
plications has been extended 50 that
applications arriving here during the
early part Of June will be accepted.
Students at this Camp will be under
no obligation whatever IN join any
part Of the army.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1922-06-08
TENNIS
TOURNAMENT ON

The annual spring tournament oflthe
Benedict Tennis Club has been started.
1t will end the first of next week.
Twenty-eight players will participate.
j. r. Norton is chairman OF the tourn.
ament committee. Later the club will
hold an all-county tournament, award
ing silver trophy cup donated byiW.
+. Laraway.
The players have been paired for the
singles with handicaps as follows:
Singles--H. Hershner. minus Is and
e. Shank, O; DR.. jenkins, O, and bye
H. G. Cooper, plus Is and Harry De-
Witt, minus 30; X. Sinclair, minus is
and F. 0lmsted, O.; ]. W. Critics. plus
Is and |. r. AchesOn. Oh. r.. Norton,
minus 30 and bye; e. C. Smith, minus
20, and A. B.aBennett, o A.sW. Stone,
plus 80 and DR.. j. w. Sifton, plus 80 !;
JIM. CulbertsOn, minus Is and bye !;
Earl Franz, minus Is, and r. w. Kel1
ly, minus Is: Bye and Truman Butler,
O.; E. O. Blanchar. plus 30 and J.. H !.
Hazfett, minus IS; l.. A. Bennett, plus
Is and-W.' Sylvester, o.; Waiter Wool
pert. 0 and. /. Kent Shoemaker, plus is
S. j. Moore, minus Is and Frank A.
Cram. minus IS; B. H. Snow, minus 80
and VIM. Rocker, o. 4
In the doubles the play will be as
follows:
Dewitt and Blanchar vs.. Smith and
Cooper; Norton and Stone vs. Snow
and Sifton: Woolpert and Sinclair vs..
Hershner and Sylvester; Culbertson
and Rocker vs.. bye; Butler and Cram
VS.. L. A. Bennett and Shank :. Moore
and Olmsted vs. Acheson and Jenkins
Earl Franz and Critics VS.. Hazlett and
Shoemaker; Kelly and A. B. Bennett
VS.. bye.
An effort is being made to stimulate
m interest among women players,
who. according to proposals. may par
.icipate in tournament later in the |
Ieason.
The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1922-06-08

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