The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-12-13

1t Is one of life's little ironies that
so far as men are concerned, the
wcrld advocates ma trimony, and puts
married man is a perpetual storm
center of interest to every woman in
the community in which he lives As
soon as he is married none are so
poor as to do him reverence-not
even his own wife And vet we
wonder that wedding rings are at
discount!
Now, there are three classes of un
married men. There are men who
are born old bachelors, men who
achieve old bachelorhood, and men
who have old bachelorhood thrust
upon them
The man who is born an old
bachelor deserves no more credit for
what is a freak of nature than the
man who is born dumb deserves
credit for not talking too much. He
can't help it. He was made that
way.
In his cradle he evinces dis
taste for feminine society. He bites.
and kicks and screams at his nurse,
and while still in pinafores he dis
plays contempt for the feminine
Intellect, and refuses to be controlled
by his mother.
little later, at school he eats his
red apple instead OF presenting it to
some little girl with pigtail. and he
buys marbles with his pennies in
stead of investing them in chewing
gum for the behoof of a juvenile
flame.
lie is also unlike other boys in
that he is possessed of a spirit CT
nd nd
pocket handk erchiefs in orderly piles
in his bureau drawers, in place of
using them for kite tails.
AS young man. he views every
girl with suspicion as having de-
signs of marrying him against his
will. ard while other youths are
raving over Maud's eyes he is figur-
ing up how much ii costs to pay
modern mundane angels dressmak
ing bills.
Occasionally the born bachelor gets
married-mistakes will happen--but
no matter how many times he Is
dragged to the altar he remains
bachelor still. 1t is impossible 20
domesticate him, and he never be-
comes broken to driving in double
harness.
He is sort of husband who is
always critical and captious. who
looks under the bed, and on the man
tel shelf for dust, and who invariably
audits his wife's dressmaking bills.
He is Entirely Different
The man who achieves old
bachelorhood is of quite different
calibre. He is among the cleverest,
and most adventurous of men. I'm
like the man who is born an old
bachelor, the man who achieves sin
gle blessedness does not shun the
thought of matrimony.
He delights in IL. and plays with it.
He recognizes it as an ever present
danger, and it gives to his life the
So me sort of awful zest that the
sportsman feels in hunting big game
W hen he realizes that at any moment
the tables may be turned. and the
pursurer become the pursued.
He adores women's society, and is
known as a ladies man. He is to
be found at pink teas and afternoon
opera box of the prettiest debutante
of the season He is connoiseur
of feminine charms and his dictum
settles the crown of belledom among
rival beauties.
Much experience in love making
has made him an adept that causes
other men, in contrast to seem mere
bungling amateurs. He can gauge
to a mathematical nicely just the
amount of pressure that should go
into handclasp and the proper de-
gree of wistful pathos to throw into
a glance.
He Is apparently always on the
verge of proposing, yet he never
proposes. and in vain is the net of
the fowler spread before him. He
is fly bird. and he always flutters
away at the psychological moment.
He loves women, but he loves him
self better. and he has no notion OF
spending on the support of wife AMI
children the money that makes even
a moderately well-off bachelor 10
comfortable. Even in his moment of
disgust with the club chef he reflects