davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1922-12-17

You reach that ca, at breathless .,ace.
He slams the door right in your face.
He says, "No use, madame, no room for
a crowd" ss. sM ~
When you're in the heavyweight class.
When you're in the heavyweight class.
No mans going to call you his turtle dove
II you're in the heavyweight class.
You can't sit down on any mans knee
For he'd be a cripple Immediately.
'Twould be crutches for him for the rest
Because you're in the heavyweight class.
see theresa bunch Of them out in front
Also in the heavyweight class.
We go through life sort of 81 don't care"
Because we're In the heavyweight class.
We're walking advertise nents of pure leaf
But we put on dignity by the yard.
For to grin and bear is the only way,
When you're In the heavyweight class,
In addition to the embarrassing incident
of tipping the taxi over, Miss Morrison re-
lates several other odd experiences which
have resulted from her embonpoint--
amusing to listen TO, but they don't seem
funny to her: 49,
"My fat. once put me under suspicion
Of attempted murder" I" she said solen My.
1T was tn e motion picture In which Snitz
Edwards, the half-portion comedian, was
arm and start into the Long Island Sound
with him. The camera man was just turn
ing the lens on M and had yelled, Hold
that when we heard q piercing scream.
I child's voice rang out across the water
in shrill reverberations. II startled me so
that slipped and dropped the small Mr..
Edwards from my arms. He swore and
The Washington times., 1922-12-17

the floor six deep. Mr.. Jones looked
suspiciously at the fiat chested little
person behind the counter. i
Did you call me 2 he asked. y
eyes, she piped. ,sjt
"He looked stunned. We'll, whaxsa
matter?'
The lady wants to change this eake
of SOAP
"Mr. Jones looked disgusted. "A little
matter to make such big noise about
''The little sales girl looked 1t me. T. /,
gaze of the crowd followed hers. skunk
guiltily away. had tried e perform =
service but it was not appreciated.
Nobody loves fat woman. Every
body suspects her Of ulterior purposes, as
in this case, or they try to help hey.
Skinny women are forever telling her how
to get thin. As though they--poor bags
of bones--could help being % they are.
Every woman meet who weighs under
hundred and fifty has some fat remedy
to press upon me. Every fat woman
would be happier than she Is II her mis-.
gsdd gsr do sisters Sa would mot not psrs 81 u letting
can the world is self constituted COM
mttee to regulate my diet have q
sociable nature but eat my meals alone.
Once | invited friends TO join me st
breakfast / quit because all Of them
said, My dear, you must not eat bananas
Now ! eat my ananas and cream In
solitary state. If want buckwheat cakes
and sausages | order 'em and eat 'em,
and defy the world.
"Dressmakers pick on me by mail.
They invite me to tall to see their won
derful creations, especially built for
women of your size
Even compliments are qualified. A
slim young friend came dancing into NJ
room bubbling with good will toward all
the world.
"'Mr. Brown said you were positively
the lightest woman on your feet he had
danced WITH she informed me.
"'Why don't you begin the day by tell
ing the truth y I demanded.
my dear, he did say so,' she vowed.
"sBut somewhere In there was the
phrase "for a fat woman" Now he
honest Nf'at
".well, darling. hs did. But how did
you known ~
The Washington times., 1922-12-17
.Mournful was my reply: They always

~Mournful was my reply: They always
do
Even the .dressmaker to whom pay
rSbber prices for specially constructed
harness says, 1T looks fine on you, con-
sidering. your size -
"If you're in the heavyweight class
you're always getting in the way Of
things. I'm always bruising myself
against the furniture. will meet MY
earthly end from trunk with which, in,a
mood Of preoccupation, / win try to dis
D'sS il 'Ss you're nsS TOO rich in .voirdupoi., you
s.ns a;S dc ANY any Of '. ;ns things yoY want TO- To-
over the iinks. # I tried, the weight Of
my body would crush my feet. / hase
no fancy for going about the world oh
false feet aided by crutches. would like
to walk many miles . day. do halfva
mile, II must. I would like to do .afl
the vigorous exercises I saw at the
Physical Culture Exhibition at the Madi-
SON Square Garden. But can't even
touch the fioor with my finger tips, nor
BY g couple. Of feet
n 81 can't be seen on the street withiA
man friend. II / walk down the block
with Frank Mcintyre crowd collects and
we hear: They must be runners for tire
circus II amble forth with Jimmy
Powers, hear filters and 'Where'd s,,e
get her bangle? st2
"The only compensation for surplus
avoirdupois is the money you make out
of 1t. II pays me to be fat. Because /
am fat. six or more skinny sisters and
a lot of spindle-shanked friends are iiei
ing in luxury before unknown to thenr.n
Miss Morrison's proportions are ele,
phantine, but she points out the fact tkSt
her pounds put dollars in the bank for her,
Her enormous figure ID . familiar one III
comedies, whore, Of course, she maker
capital 81 her dimensions. N
II you put . tapeline around her waikG
you would need two, for her middle Sif(h
q forty-eight inches. -Four feet around
the waisti Her bust measurement Il fiftya
four inches, and hip measurement sixty
four inches. She wears . six glove and 1
shoe Of the same sise. Her various
measurements show her TO be symmetrical,
90 she can truthfully be called perfect
hfty-four."
The Washington times., 1922-12-17

"That ghost of locomotive he said
"Yes, it's darned inconvenient to be in
the heavyweight class One day ] was
tf.ing to get out of a crowded street car
on Broadway and Thirty-fourth street
Impedcd by travelling bag and an um-
brella I appealed to the conductor for
help.
"'Please open that door, said.
"He did not bulge"
You're big enough to do it yourself,
he said, and everybody laughed.
81 reported him and he was laid
off,
"Street cars are the scene of many
humiliations to the fat woman. For
instance, was trying to push, my.
way OF one, when another woman
started to get on. She was little and
very feminine, which means that she
had something of the feline in her.
When tried to maintain my right Of
way and pass her she thrust up two
little gioved hands, about number
fives. and clawed ut me. There we /
stood on the street car steps while the
crowd pushed me fore and aft. There
was nothing else to do 20 Iseized the
clawing little feminine by the
shoulders. / lifted her above the
heads of the crowd, and beyond it,
and set her down.
"She screamed like Comanche
Indian. The conductor rang the bell
and the car moved on. But not the
crowd. It grew thicker and thicker
around the little woman, who was
resting in the arms of would-be
rescuer. / neglected to say that
the little woman was very pretty. Even
while she wss trying TO scratch my face
noticed that. Big folk are mag
unanimous.
T tried to walk away, but was stopped
by red-headed man who said, Hey, you
: big dame, none g that: You stay and
tell your troubles to the cop.' A police.
man came over to where l stood and
looked up at me. tried to tell the story
in a brief, digniied manner. When
finished he laughed and walked Off was
free. But that laugh hurt worse thar
anything else that had happened that
afternoon.
"Work is always showed upon the big
woman. I've moved pianos about every
stage l have worked on. That's the
reason why they call me the Stage Hands
Something that goes with being big is
having big voice. Nora Bayes calls my
sub-cellAr, rafter-ringing voice my DE
Wolf Hopper whisper Nora is good
friend and a brilliant star, but she is not
above the temptations of humanity to
poke fun at a fat woman. For instance
she nearly broke me up one night during
a performance, when, looking beautifully
innocent, she said, You would make a
great general, Floss How so?'
answered. Because you have so much
room to pin medals on
"But don't SO much complain that
people make fun of me as that they dis.
like my making fun of them. was in
a big department store one day when q
woman came in to exchange a bar OF
soan. The girl behind the counter said
very well, madame, but / must. speak
to the floor walker She lifted up what
voice she had and piped Mr.. Jones' Nc
answer. She piped again, Mr.. Jones'
Still no answer. After six pipes said
Do you really want to see that floor
walker Yes said the sales girl.
'T used my DE Wolf Hopper whisper
I let out every ounce of breath had In
me and roared: Mr.. Jonesr
"You should have seen the commotion
Two floor walkers came running, humping
into each other and saying: Where's the
frer Shoppers seemed to spring from
The Washington times., 1922-12-17

rLoRENCE MORRISON, the largest
actress on the American stage is
: known lss 'srhe biggest Gid on
Broadway u Her gigantic. size seems
funny to- tAsse who watsh' her tty 10 At
herself into the Sramped cesvenienees Of
mankind. Dut h d no joke for Miss
Morrison, Z. s u \. ,.ls Z a .l
No chair hts her--the bunk she Il Of
fered on Pullman ear or steamer won't
hold her---her knees are too high 70 20
under the hotel dining room tabie--men
are embarrassed to be seen walking with
this huge Amazon and when she stepped
on the running board Of . taxi the other
day It tipped. over.
Lacking one little inch Of being six feet
tall, weighing only few pounds short Of
800, and splendidly proportioned, Miss
Morrison b hmpiy equipped to take care
Of herself under any and all circum-
stances. She has that snug satisfaction
In rejecting that no fresh masher will
ever bother her-a second time at least
and II she wants to move things around
the room she can do SO without assistance
and without fear Of straining muscle.
Most women would insist that It must
he a ereat comfort 10 be blessed with
such physical attributes, but Miss Nor.
rison says that while, as a professional
woman, her size is her fortune, off-stage
II Il. TO use her very words, "darned IN
convenient: well, listen to Miss Morrison
herself:
zone morning." she says, "a taxi was
waiting for me at the door of my hotel.
II was cold morning in the early Winter.
The sidewalk and street were very
slinpery. The chauffeur had opened the
door. As started to step into the car
I felt my food slipping on the icy side
walk. 70 save myself from falling !
reached desperately for the frame OF the
door. succeeded in clutching It at the
top and held on.
aSomething yielded slowly, and l saw
the chauffeur jump out Of the way. That
suasions. Il turned sidewise and fell very
slowly but surely upon me. Being twice
as BID as the chauffeur and half AZ nimble
could not spring out Of the way. There
I Law. the taxi and I, on the fast thawing
lee Of the street. crowd collected, as
YOU know how it does in New York They
asked II was hurt and answered i'm
dignantly that | was not. Then they
laughed, Everybody laughs at ? Tat
woman" u.
Some Of the tribulations of fat
woman were written by Miss Morrison
into lyric, which she sang in very
ss,ccessf,il musical comedy d few seasons
800 and which went as follows:
When L was young ] was thin and tall.
And never thought ] would look HE
this.
I'n more trouble to myself now.
There's nothing ever miss.
What don't knock down push one side,
lH Believe Ii or not who've never tried.
wherever you 20 you have to move slow,
IL you're in the heavyweight class.
whenever | start TO 60 downtown
In trSlley or subway express,
Some fool Of man about one foot Wide
Puts me In an awful mess.
s"~sks my sest, madame" he says with
~ sniile.
Then he loolu at me and the seat awhile.
But you can't 1T down In that much
gpece
when Eou're in the heavyweight class.
when yon get through shopping
And the elevators coming,
You hear the boy loudly yell
last trip going down
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1922-03-24
FRUIT STEAMER SINKS SCHOONER; !;
 NO ONE INJURED

New York, March 24-A large schooner was run down off the New Jersey coast early today by the Unit ed Fruit Liner Mataran, inbound for New York from the West Indies. It was first reported that the schooner had been sunk, but later word was received at the offices of the United Fruit company that it was being tow ed to port The accident happened near arnegat-
 The Matapan was slightly damag- ed But no one was injured.
 The schooner was the Charles A. Dean. The schooner was leaking badly and coastguards held themselves in readiness to put out to sea in caS etheir help was needed
 The Charles A. Dean is a three master hailing from Boston, Mass.
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1922-03-24
Pepper Crossing
 arm Raided

Pepper Crossing, made famous by cartoonists and paragraphers, was made the object of the spotlights yes terday evening when the Federal agents of the local office. paid an unannounced call to the place of An drew Vortek, and there located a five gallon still, together with 10 gallons of mash, as well as a quantity of corn stalks from which the mash was evil dentiy being made. The location of the place is on the Cutler Farm road. No definite date has been set for the appearance of the man be- fore United States Commissioner Hugh J. Lavery-
 Earlier in the day the entire per sonnel of the local office, headed by Monroe officials. entered the thick woods in Upper Stepney, two miles from any road tpassible with automo- piles, and there, at the risk of their lives, found a still of the sort and magnitude that has made the hills Of Kentucky and Tennessee death traps for Federal agents for years. 4 lookout was surprised, but, together with others involved made his es- cape.
 The agents found two large stills, and several hundred gallons of mash The men who the officers believe are involved. but who have not been ap- prehended, are George Cook and John Kopeke, both of Stepney. Deputy Sheriff Olmstead and Fire Warden Edward D. Lee, together with Keller Briggs, a member of the Grand Jury, acted as guides
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1922-03-24
OBITUARY
Mrs. Ellen NJ, Weldon.

Many sorrowing friends and rela- lives attended the funeral of Mrs. Ellen M. Weldon, held this morn ing at 8:30 from her home, 2162 Main street and in St Patrick's church a half hour later where a high mass of requiem was celebrated by Rev. John c Lynch, pastor of the church. At the offerttOry, Pie JeSu" and after mass Twill Not Be Long, were sung by the choir. Numerous hand some floral tributes expressed the es- teem in which the deceased was held
 Interment was made in St. Mich aeps cemetery where Rev. Lynch read the committa1 service. The pail bearers John, Joseph and Thomas Hughes. and Charles William and John Clampett. were all nephews of the deceased
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1922-03-24
CARD OF THANKS.

MT. James Walker and family ex- tend their thanks for kindness and sympathy shown in the deaths of their believer wife and mother For services at the grave, Victoria lodge, Daugh- ters of St. George; floral pieces from Ladies auxiliary, British War Vet erans; Magma Charta lodge, Sons of St. George; Pioneer lodge. Sons of St. George; Ashler lodge, No PA, A. F. and A. M: Fellowcraft Association Of AshIer Hodge; Temple lodge, A. F. and A. M, <F,eHowcraft Association; British-American Society; Police De- partment, Traffic Division; the Friday Night Boys club; Toulson & Renesch employees; Perry's orchestra; 12th District Republican club; Point Union Sunday school and Newfdeld Epworth league, also to neighbors and friends for their beautiful floral tokens asp
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1922-03-24
Police BOwlers
 Hit The Skids
 In Capital City

Ai1o1s were shooting through the ar in Police department sporting circles this morning.
 Bridgeport police bowlers hit agalnst a Snag in Hartford last night where they were vanquished in three games by the famous Charter Oak primers of the Capital City. In the three blocks Hartford outro1led Tom Floods wood spillers 1.520 to 1,425, or a margin of 95 pins.
 One of the features of the contest was the Brothers contest" waged between Tom Burns of this city and Patrick Burns of the Charter Oaks, the honors being carried off by the Capital City Burns.
 Although defeated the locals found some consolation in the achievement s~ Musante, who outrol1ed Bartholo- meV, one of the best bowlers in the StaSa. The Hartford roller claims the dIsIS'ction of negotiating a single of IfO and three-string total of 418
 The local bluecoats were royalty entertained after the battle of pins, and their Hartford rivals will roll a return game here next Friday night The scores:
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1922-03-24
NOT DIVORCED, IS
 MRS. HOLLIS CLAIM

Princston, N: ;;s J;; March iSa 24~Mrs. Mrs: Senator Hollis of New Hampshire, denied here today that she had ever been divorced from Senator Hollis, as reported before his second marriage In France.
 ITO my knowledge there is no divorce granted nor has one ever been granted, to him. said Mrs. Hollis. This marriage of his to Miss Anne Hobbs in Paris is illegal"
 Mrs. Hollis said she had been granted decree of separation by the highest court in New Hampshire five years ago on grounds of cruelty. She said she did not believe in the doctrine of divorce.
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1922-03-24

town, Pa, who for four months had been able to breathe only through the four sma1 holes in a button lodged in her throat, today was we'll and happy as a result of an operation yesterday by a Philadelphia surgeon.
 The child swallowed the button while playing last November, and it lodged in her wIndpipe. Repeated efforts to dislodge it proved unavail- ing and difficulty of respiration fre- quently caused her great pain. Two after she was placed on the operating table yesterday, the button lay in the surgeons hand and she was again breathing freely.
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1922-03-24
FOUR ARE DEAD
 IN CLOUDBURST

Burlington, Kansas. March 24- Four were believed dead today in cloudburst. which engulfed this village last night. Damage estimated at nearly million dollars was caused by the raging waters.
 The main business section of the village was inundated by rushing waters from five to twelve feet deep during the crest of the flood
 At an early hour this morning the body of Miss O1eha Sailing was the only one recovered A check up showed three others missing.
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1922-03-24
DIED.

SKANE - In this city, Thursday, March 23. 1922. Ann Murphy, wife of Matthew Skane.
 Friends are invited to attend the Q funeral from the home of her daughter. Mrs. J. J. OBrien, 260 Iranistan avenue. on Saturday. March 2'5. at S:30 a. m., and from the Church of the Sacred Heart at 9 a. m- Automobile cortege. Kindly omit flowers.
 Interment at St. Michae1's ceme- tery. a*p IOWDEN - In this city. Thursday, March 23. 1922. Margaret. widow of Joseph Lowden.
 Friends are invited to attend the funeral from her late residence, GA Benham avenue. on Saturday, March 2S at S:30 a. m., and from St. Augustine's church at o'clock. Burial in St. Michaers cemetery. A mass of requiem will be offer cd for the repose of her soul on Monday, March 27. at S:15 o'clock.
 Sp2hS
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1922-03-24

Harry Lieb of SS Washington ave nue, who was arrested yesterday after he had gotten into an argument with Frank Chase of 461 State street, was fined S5 and costs in the City court this morning. Chase had his case nolled on payment of a fine of S3. Chase is alleged to have been walk ing along Main street yesterday with his wife and Lieb is alleged to have bumped into him. The question as to whether or not the act was inten- tional could not be settled diplomat dcalIy with the result that the men came to blows.
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1922-03-24
Today s Cases
 In. Police Court

Five arrests for violation of the state liquor laws were made by InS police yesterday: All of the accusea were arraigned in the City court this morning.
 William Crowley, proprietor of the Lexington Club at 2S9 Lexington ave, nue, had his case continued until Monday under bonds of $20O. blind tiger at go Whiting street, was fined s2OO and given a suspended jail sentence of ten days.
 George Ladwllian of $50 Warren street, who is alleged to have sold ci- der containing six percent alcohol was fined S25.
 Thomas Bowden. cafe owner of SIS Park avenue. was fined $50 ana costs avenue, in which was found one-haIf gallon jug of whisl1ey, had his case continued until Monday.
 Thomas Kiely of 41 Center street, who was picked up yesterday on Wa ter street in an intoxicated condition. was sentenced to three days in jail Tn the City court this morning.
 Niles Nelson of 91 Arch street, who was arrested yesterday after ne hao had an accident on a charge or ops! ating a car without a license, had his case nclled in the City court tniS morning. Nelson drives a U. S. mall auto anu 4S IOl ISlu41 AO 1ASA'S N~ license.
 Lizzie Morano, proprietor of a house of i'll fame at 40 GiIbet street, which place was raided by operatives of the vice squad yesterday, pleaded guilty in the City court this morning and her case was continued until April when sentence will be imposed
 Peter John of New York, who was arrested as a frequenter of the place, was fined $20 and costs and given suspended jail sentence of five days
 Dennis Casey of 1767 Main street, who was arrested yesterday on charge of breach of the peace and drunkenness, after he had had an al tercation with his family, was fined s10 and costs and given a ten day suspended jail sentence in the City court this morning.
 Frank. Masseau of 2S0 Nichols street, who was arrested yesterday on a charge of breach of the peace and drunkenness was fined SIS and costs
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1922-03-24

Service. c Distributors Muitipie Storage
 Batterles ss EiA, Aug P1i1ting Snhi ios Beers < AUTO TOPS, Curtains, Slip-covers- All
 work guaranteed James Pace, 4So
 East Washingte3nn Ave. near Noble FOR SALE OR RENTING small farms
 North End. J. H. Keenan. Phone 1856
 or Plaza Theater. S24b"p \ S10.o0 INVESTMENT In Mexia may
 will bring full particulars. Address
 Texas Leasing Ass AA;ssoclha1tion' Manhattan STATE OF CONNECTICUT, District
 of Bridgeport, ss. Probate Court,
 March 2Srd, 1922.
 Estate of JOHN DAMIANO, late of
 The Administrator having made appli cation for an order authorizing g him to estate, as per said application on file
 0rdered. That the said application be heard and determined at the Probate Office in Bridgeport, on the S0th day of MaTsh noon and aS this Court dfrects @ said i0I Rd Ininistrator to give notice 10 all parsons they see cause. and be heard thereon. by publishing this order once in a news paper having a circulation in sad Dis trfct. and by mailing to all parties in of March. A. D. 1922, and return make " 'tle Attest: % PAUL L. MILLER,
 a* Judge STATE or coNNEcTIcUT. District
 Estate Mafee of zf5a pavfD m H: coTTER. late of Rridgeport in sad District, deceased.
 Upon application praytng-that an in strrment purporting to be the last will and testa Inent of said dlceased be ad- rnitt ed to probate-aS per said application on file more fully appears, it is
 Ordered, That said application be heard and determined at the Probate Office in Bridgeport in said District, on the 31st day of March. A D. 1922, at 2;S0 o'clock in the afternoon; and thatIeotice thereof be given to all persons known to be interested in said estate to appear, if they see cause, at said time and place, and be heard thereon by publishing once in some newspaper having a circu- lation in said District-and by mailing in letters addressed to each of the persons named in said application-who have not signed waivera copy of this order. ali at least five days before said day of hearing, and that return of notice given be made to this Court
 By order of Court
 S24ss LEO J. WHAI1EY, Clerk YTa:.. Je, R~,nrr PaC7,1fc
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1922-03-24
PERSONALS

Announcement is made of the we'd ding of Miss Marion Georgia Eaton of Brockton, Mass. daughter of Fred G. Eaton of 52 Sedgwick street, this of Middletown, which took place re- gently in the rectory of the South Congregational church in Brockton Rev. Lyndon S. Beardslee performed the ceremony. The couple were at tended by Miss Vera Strittmather, and R. Wilson Jaap of Cleveland. Mir. and Mrs. King will reside in Suite 4, 45 Belmont street, Brockton Mass. MT. King holds a irresponsible position in the S. s. Kresge Com pany in BrocktOn,