The Washington times., 1922-04-30
THAT is the matter with
v the army and the navy?

The Washington confer
ence took a whack with its great
q shears at the looks Of the navy and
cut off more of its fine curls than
1t did of Secretary Hughes whis-
kers. though the new way tho Sec
rotary of State trims his whiskers
. looks like tho 5-5-S ratio had re-
duced their sailing radius.
I have forgotten how many
waves were removed from the
navy's brow. but when It emerged
II looked like an amateur barber
had been turned loose. At any
rate. the navy men thought they'd
all catch cold from the sudden
hair-cutting and shampooins and
barbering. When the Japs sailed
for homo, carrying most Of tho
booty. navy men breathed freely
for the first time In months. They
knew they were all "shaven and
shorn." They. too. were "all for
lorn," but they felt relieved think
ing the worst had come, and with
time their hair would grow out
aKain.
About the time they felt their
hair. was long enough to run q
comb through 1t along came q man
from Michigan and said, "Get In
the barber's chair. Your hair 10
still too long, your moustache is
almost long enough to curl. It's
getting nearly summer time, too.
You need a clip and q cut and q
shave"
HAS anybody here seen Kelly,
Kelly Of the Emerald Isle?"
The trouble with Kelly and his
associates is that they took seri-
ously the promise OF Harding and
Hughes that the 5-5-3 naval ratio
would insure sweeping reduction
in appropriations for the naval es.
tablishment. It may be there IL
much truth in Mr.. Kelly's state
ment on the floor Of the House,
Everybody wants disarmament
in the abstract but not in the con-
crete"
They were cold days In April
when Kelly was undertaking to do
the tonsorial act over again and
sbiya,- ~, ttp,bor. tS tha n.,,,, .ox
didn't feel as II they were to be
exposed to the blasts with nothing
on but B. v. D. 1t was a narrow
shave.
THE BOB.TAIL ARMY.
The army escaped any interna-
tional ratio at the hands Of the
conference. but when the House
had finished its cut. General PERISH
ing and Secretary Weeks felt like
they had a bob.tailed army, and
feared II would look like that
Nicaraguan army which was COM
posed Of twenty-five generals,
100 colonels. 200 majors and sew
enty-five privates. The chief diff
ference was that the officers Of
our country feared they would
also be reduced in pay as well as
in material for training.
They're all in a blue funk.
There's no enthusiasm now for
the beautiful navy blue" The
blue Monday feeling IL without
hope and pride.
The sun may be shining some
where and children in some far off
cline may be smiling still. II so,
mono of the rays or the cheer has
pervaded any naval station or
army post.
The military branches are 20
depressed they cut pessirnism
with a knife. and the demoraliza-
tion Is 80 great that the spirit
and morale are at the lowest
depths since the Navy was virtu-
ally scrapped after the War Be-
tween the States.
I'VE are headed for the scrap
heap" said an admiral yesterday
as we walked toward the Capitol.
81 am glad that I got my four
stars before the year 1920.
Otherwise I might be headed
p downward toward an ensign's
insignia and II they knock us
much harder II might bs . tobog-
gan to . petty officer or banish-
ment TO civil life"
I ran UP with . midshipman
from Annapolis. "Since was
big enough to sail q boat in q
bath-tub. I've had but one ambi-
tion," he said. land that was to
be a naval officer. When I was
admitted to Annapolis in 1919
was tho happiest man alive.
And now where am II Only q
few Of us are to receive commiss-
ions. Shall I stay in what looks
TO be = diminishing Navy or shall
I part with my only youthful
ambition and go into civil life7"
EXTRACTING CONSOLATION.
There has been no 10y in Army