davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Arizona republican., 1922-05-28
Autolycus Plays Cupid
THE ARIZONA REPUBLICAN, SUNDAY STORY
A COMPLETE NOVELETTE,

, cloud of dust, to the piazza where the
HOLSTERS were sitting.
why" began Mrs. Hollister but
something in Don's face checked her
usually brisk and breezy tongue on
that subject-"are there so many air.
ship accidents?" sh g substituted
quickly.
Don's vacation was nearly at an
end There had been land picnics,
and water picnics and tennis tourna-
ments and drives and parties, all in
his honor And he had attended them
all, escorting his little cousin Elsie,
who. like himself, had been brought
up by his uncle and aunt. Doretta
had been seen everywhere with Har-
ley Dane. Every one remarked how
pretty and spirited she looked that
summer But there was something in
her eyes that kept even her mother,
her closest "chum," from making in
quiry or comment.
1t was the last morning of Don's
vacation. He would soon go to France
for an indefinite stay.
Doretta Barnes sat on her veranda
that afternoon petting old Autolycus,
her little brother Jinlmy's pet crow.
AS she smoothed his glossy feathers,
and let him nibble and tweak at the
bright clasp of her girdle. something
round and bright dropped suddenly
right in front of the amiable old rob-
bers observing eyes. He made a dab
at it. 1t was gone. But another
came. He got that one, but it van
ished inside his beak, leaving only
salty taste. Most unaccountable,
truly.
''Crrrr!' observed he, softly. cock
ing upward an appraising eye.
"Crrrri Then he flew from her knee,
stalked to the edge of the veranda,
spread his competent wings and was
gone.
But in less than a quarter of an
hour he was seen returning. Evil
IDENTIFY he had had good luck: The
something which he bore in his beak,
Doretta observed, with languid inter-
est, was bright-as the findings" of
Autolycus invariably were-a d
round, and rather heavy with some
thing dangling. Before he reached
his lady he lost his grip and his treas
ure trove fell on the stone tagging.
"A watch!" gasped the lady. She
ran down the steps, stopped and
picked up Don HOLSTERS gold wrist
watch. with the back snapped open
by the fall, revealing her picture care
fully pasted therein. She held it a
long minute. Then she closed it,
dropped it into her blouse pocket
picked up the waiting Autolycus and
hugged him, ran into the house and
got him large helping of his favorite
tit-bit; then she rushed to the phone,
stood and swallowed at least half a
minute and then rang up.
She got "Mr. Hollister" readily. He
was home, packing. Her voice was
quite nom -committal as she informed
Arizona republican., 1922-05-28
Watching the Parade
BY JOHN PILGRIM

There morals imbedded in this tale
paid ther
real eopybook It shows that tell
Of unregarded knowledge worth Somemesa Joe
case-it ont to forum
a had job" Joe quite job
As a by
until better job aone'
As detail matter of
Spanish restaurant 1t especially
which
point of fact like either
filled Rosalias three
contemplate
by the keepers OF better hosees So lived
81 learned Spanish
Spanish.
with comebles
when
gotten why There mention sloped
when he should have At all events Roaa called the
phone his place of business call his attention his regua
She explained that she for him nights
he must have in through the window
This is how it Isl Rosalia" said Joe n Spanish.
English partly he felt that his office had
stood that talk they might have panied Three
dent of the called him in.
Joe said he ve always that Spanish
tiuenty Now be
America How would like to tackle ?"
Which is the principal income burden
his soul nowadays
Arizona republican., 1922-05-28
TUBERCULOSIS

thrives in houses where fresh air and
sunlight are shut out. 1t also explains
why tuberculosis is not contracted
out of doors.
When exposed to Infection, peopls
in good physical condition are safs
enough, because nature provides de-
fenses which destroy the bacilli. q
is when the body is weakened by
sickness or improper living that the
germs gain a foothold.
When the disease has once started
there is a battle on in your body be-
tween the invading germs and the
defenses nature has provided. 1t is
your business to strengthen your de-
fenses by rest fresh air, proper food
and good health habits.
The encouraging thing is that the
tuberculosis death rate is decreas-
ing-yearly more disease is being
prevented and more lives are being
saved Most cases can be cured II
the patient seeks medical care before
too much of the lung tissue has been
destroyed. Even in advanced cases
the disease often may be stopped and
many a man with only one lung is
leading useful life and supporting
his family.
Arizona republican., 1922-05-28
Run7-Running

An American bootlegger gets in
touch with a Canadian distiller. He
buys a carload of whisky and has it
shipped to an imaginary person in
Mexico. The railroad shipment is
routed across the United States, as
permitted UP to now by law.
While the whisky freight-car is in
an American railroad yard, it is
broken into by the bootlegger. He
hauls his stuff away.
Canadian distiller doesn't care. He
has his money. The railroad doesn't
care. Freight was paid in advance,
No complaint, of course, from the
imaginary consignee in Mexico. All
around, it's a beautiful arrangement.
But the national supreme court now
rules that liquor. moving from one
foreign port of another, can be seized
on American territory, under the pro-
hibition laws.
One by one, the whisky leaks are
being sealed.
Arizona republican., 1922-05-28
Sfrap-Hangers

The overhead trolley electric street
car has its thirty fourth birthday
Robert I. Todd president of the
American Electric Railway Associa-
ton, crates about the industry.
He finds that the number of pas
sengers carried by trolley companies
dropped off from 1900, 100, 270 in 1920
to 7,144, 332, 800 in 1921. Meaning, that
nearly half a billion times last year
someone was hard-up enough to de-
eide to use his legs instead of pay
ing fare.
Walking however is unexcelled for
the health. Everything has its good
side-even hard times.
Arizona republican., 1922-05-28
TAKING CARE OF BABY,s BOTTLE

The woman on the street car took
bottle from the Boston bag that
stood on the dusty floor and, wiping
it off on her sleeve, put it in her
baby's mouth
He was a wan, whimpering little
baby, with dark shadows under his
eyes and the expression of an old
world weary person upon his little
face
When the woman got home she
took the half empty bottle from the
baby, because he was asleep and set
it in the kitchen window.
1t was a warm day in early summer
and the sunlight was streaming in at
the uncurtained window.
After the baby had been put to
sleep in the center of a big bed in a
dark, unaired bedroom and well COW
cred with an old fur coat which she
kept for just such emergencies. the
woman went back to her kitchen, saw
the bottle on the window sill and
emptied it into the sink.
Then she stood ii in the window
again. 1t was just a habit. The win
dow still was the only uncluttcreo
space.
Baby Suffers From the Heat
After a while the baby in the dark,
Arizona republican., 1922-05-28
If You Are
Well Bred

You will not leave part Of the
food which you have lifted to your
mouth on the fork or spoon and
return it to your mouth a second
time.
You will not let spoon remain
in cup or container while not III
use. 1t should be removed to the
saucer or plate under the cup or
container.
You will remove all butter from
the butter knife after using it be-
fore putting it on your plate.
You will always be courteous
to those who serve you in any
capacity.
You will address them in rlodu-
lated tones and will word your
orders so that they are not offens-
i've.
And just because you can't see
the telephone operator, you won't
forget she is human ana resents
strong language, even though she
is in no position to defend her
self.
Arizona republican., 1922-05-28
Opportunity

China has less than 100 movie the
aters, reports Lynn w. Meekins, movie
export-expert. Admission averages 80
cents, in American money. No movie
theaters have been built there for
five years. But the Chinese are al
most as crazy over movies as they
are over Photographs.
Gigantic opportunity there for our
film exporters. China, with enormous
undegeloped natural wealth, holds
similar opportunities for nearly every
other industry
The Orient is our coming export
market. 1t will eclipse Europe as a
buyer Of American goods.
Arizona republican., 1922-05-28
Book-Worn1s

Robertson Smith might have been
valedictorian of his class this year at
the University of Chicago. He was
put out of the running because he
couldn't chin himself 10 times.
Smith had all the mental-record
qualifications for official class ora
tor But after he had chinned HIM
self seven times, his muscles went
back on him.
1t will amaze old-time graduates
Arizona republican., 1922-05-28

others. It's well to remember both
sides.
In prehistoric days man had no
artificial lights. When darkness de-
scended activities ceased. Clad in
the rudest of garments. his body
easily endured cold. The eye had only
its normal seeing power. the ear its
normal sensitiveness to sounds
Food was simple. men and women
moved leisurely.
Now, we are clad In motely array
OF garments fashioned for all parts
of the body. We lengthen our hours
of work and pleasure by the use of
the brightest of lights. We have
multiplied the sounds of industry
all day long the shrieks and toots
and whistles, the poundings and rum
blings and roarings and explosions
bring pandemonium to our ears. We
experiment with all sorts of pungent
seasonings and flavorings to tempt
appetite. We rush and whirl and
hurry through life. New inventions
and new discoveries bring fresh
speed and sounds and sights. Life to-
day is most wonder filled.
But our bodies so protected, we
shiver at the slightest breath of cold
We growl If the heater doesn't work
and berate the office janitor if the
thermometer goes below 70. The
retinas Of our eyes being so constant
ly stimulated. we wear glasses to
assist our weakened sight and Won
der how our ancestors could see by
the light of their tallow dips We
listen, and our ear drums are dulled.
We banquet and lunth and our di-
gestion suffers. We rush and hurry,
and nerves are set on edge. over
stimulation is doing its work. We
have conquered some diseases, only to
exchange them for others.
Modern progress has its rich offer
ings But it also has its perils. Ac-
ceptance of one means acceptance Of
the other, also.
Arizona republican., 1922-05-28
Copyright, 1921. by W. werner)

Copyright, 1921, by w. Werner)
IF you really cared" postulated
Doretta, you'd have come over last
evening when you first got home!'
But it was SO late, and" Don got
no farther.
Late Don Hollister-9 o'clock?"
Aunt Al and Elsie had my supper
all ready"
supper Hm!"
Il couldn't get any in Portland. The
restaurant in the station is closed
and there was no time TO go out,
and"
"Well. even so: how long need it
have taken you TO eat your supper,
even allowing for your being awfully
hungry"
mot so awfully long, but Aunt Al
and Elsie We're full of questions, Of
course-wanted to hear all about my
airship work and experiences and
"Of course l wouldn't be supposed
TO be interested"
"Oh, come now, Doretta! Don't be
that way. You see, was right there,
anyway"
That's what I've been saying"
"You think | should have come di-
rectly here from the station the min
ute 1 struck Fairville? All cinders
and sickness"
Il wouldn't have minded"
well, / would. l have too much
respect for the girl to whom I'm en-
gagged"
You're not! I relieve you of such
a burden of 'respect!" Doretta held
out a diminutive circle set with a dia-
mond which she had unhesitatingly
pronounced the most beautiful in the
world. Take it. Miss Barnes here
after.''
"Dorettai''
Miss Barnes" tossed the ring into
his cap, which lay upside down on
the hall stand. He had penetrated no
farther than the hall on his mo-
mentous visit, the morning following
his return from flying school. The
next move was manifestly his, but
before he could take it. dazed as he
was by this new side of his adored
fiancee and school days pal, he was
Arizona republican., 1922-05-28
Bird-Man

An airplane without a motor Is be-
ing built by Edmund T. Allen, student,
in Boston. He calls it birdplane. Ii
is a glider, operated by human muscle
power, in imitation of a soaring bird.
Will you read of Aliens death, in
week or so, when he makes his
first flight? Not necessarily. An
European glider recently stage, d
afloat in the air 81 minutes
The most successful artificial wing
plane will never have wide market.
Civilized man is lazy, does nothing
that he can get a machine to do.
Then, too, no speed without a motor,
and most of US are speed -maniacs.
Arizona republican., 1922-05-28

THEN HE FLEW FROM HER
KNEE, STALKED TO THE EDGE
OF THE VERANDA.
alone. and light steps sounded on the
oak floor of the upper hall over his
head.
He picked up the ring, looked at it
as long as if he had never seen it or
any other diamond, put on his cap
and made his way slowly out. Once
outside the house he struck brisk
pace down the drive and thence along
the street, head high.
Doretta, springing up from her
couch and frantieally mopping her
eyes as she heard the door close
gently, ran to the window, and, be-
tween the curtainS-a tiny crack
observed that gait and carriage. II
Don had known that Doretta had to
leave the hall at a double quick, so
that he shouldn't see her cry, that
gait and carriage would have been
no, they would not have been at all.
He would have been seated in the
Barnes library, making Doretta's eyes
more big and beautiful even than ma
ture had made them by his tales of
daring and close shayes.
But he did not know. How could
ne. let DUIelld ISlt, sUiileltOH, tHdl
he ought TO have known. Therefore,
she dabbed her eyes carefully with
toilet water. and powdered her nose
and fixed" her hair. And when
Harley Dane came along, as he had
been doing every afternoon, for some
= time. and invited her to q spin in his
high powered car-though with faint
hope, for she had always had an ex-
cellent reason all ready for refusing
she went, and held her head high as
they whiZzed past the Hollister place,
where Don, an orphan since early
childhood, lived with his uncle and
aunt.
Her gay laugh floated back. in a
Arizona republican., 1922-05-28
Suurning

Ontario province, Canada, finds
that its total population is only a
trifle larger than Chicago's.
Crammed into less than 200 square
miles of city are as many people as
in the 407, ,262 square miles of On
tario
That is the answer to about nine
tenths of the problems of so-called
civilization" SwarIning breeds our
troubles.
Arizona republican., 1922-05-28
NOT cusToDlANs

At the town meeting of a small
place up country" a citizen made a
motion that was seconded in an
astonishing way.
'Mr. Moderator he said, II move
that the town set aside money for
three cuspidors to be stationed at
proper places"
At that an old fellow in the rear
of the hall who was hard of hearing
rose stiffly to his feet. Il second the
notion" he said. ''and / move that
Jack Davis be made one of emf
Youth Companion.
Arizona republican., 1922-05-28
Pioneers

Born in Connecticut in 1874, Mrs.
Henry f. Pellet reminisces about
her marriage so years ago. On the
wedding day, her husband had only
Sc cash, but she says it was ample
for paying the minister and honey
incoming for a week.
You get an idea of how prices have
changed, when Mrs. Pellet recalls
that tailors made mans coat in
those days for % cents. And the Pei
let's living expenses were only
s19245 the first year of their mar
riage.
Wages, however, We're correspond
ingly small. That's the joker.
Arizona republican., 1922-05-28
BY DR.. r. II. BISHOP

90 many people
in t h e frs t
stages of tuber-
culosis I h / n k
they are excep-
tions a n d can
beat the disease
their own way.
If they broke a
leg or We're at
tackled by appen-
dicitis or a con-
tagious disease,
they would stop
working u n { i |
they were COM
Yet in the ca Sc of
Arizona republican., 1922-05-28

when a member of
the crew lost his
equilibrium while
a d m i ri n s t h e
bounding m a i n
and fell into it.
Casey hurried to
the captain and
told him what had
occurred. The lat
Arizona republican., 1922-05-28

by Jove, old
man." he called
out. ~ ou are
putting on a lot of
airs. BNt I'll bet
you don't keep it
long,
A few days later
he saw Jones with
his new piano on
Arizona republican., 1922-05-28

one of the worlds worst diseases,
they think it unnecessary to quit un-
til the disease has such a foothold it
is practically impossible to effect a
cure.
tuberculosis is caused by bacil-
lus or germ so small it can be seen
only under the microscope. Sunshine
Will cause these germs to curl up and
die, which explains why the disease
Arizona republican., 1922-05-28

The clerk had
read out a long
list of previous
convictions.
well" a S k e d
t h e magistrate,
have you any
thing to say? ?"
"All I've got to
S a w remarked
tho nrin0ner IN a
Arizona republican., 1922-05-28

thinking to make
h i s punishment
more impressive,
went up to his
room, and after
all was forgiven,
said:
Now, Horace,
what did l punish
you for ?"
Hara on lnoEcl
Arizona republican., 1922-05-28

at one of the large
employment agen-
cies.
There's a ] o b
open at the Eagle
laundry" said the
man behind the
desk. want it?"
T h e applicant
shifted uneasily
from one foot to
Arizona republican., 1922-05-28
1NNN ByAlbert Apple

to learn that an Al student no longer
is a star unless he measures UP to
certain athletic standards. A good
many will consider it ridiculous,
which it is, despite the value of gym
nasium training.
One of the troubles with Americans
is that we go to extremes in every
thing
Arizona republican., 1922-05-28

handcart going down the street.
"Ha, hal" he cried. Il knew you
wouldn't have it long"
Get away. you idiot" cried Jones.
I'm just going for my first music
lesson"
In Texas the short cotton crop forced
a large number of negroes to the
cities. One of these applied for a job
Arizona republican., 1922-05-28
ALL DRESSED UP

"You may not believe it, said Mr..
Dubwaite, "but the woman who is
lecturing to rs this evening on some
manifestations of latter day art used
to be an esthetic dancer"
"You don't say!" exclaimed Mr.
Grumpson. And how long has she
been wearing clothes in public ?''-
Birmingham Age-Herald.
Arizona republican., 1922-05-28

at her in amazement and his face
wore a panied expression.
well, mummie,'' he replied, Il like
that. Here have I been kept in bed
all the afternoon, and now you can't
remember what you did it for"
Arizona republican., 1922-05-28
pEEINEn

Mr.. Cheerio-Why worry over
what you owe? Cheer up. Be an OPP
timist.
Mr.. Bloodbody-My good fellow,
an optimist, is a man who hasn' t
enough credit TO borrow trouble.
Arizona republican., 1922-05-28

hurt voice, is that it's pretty mean
way to treat regular customer"
Jones had just bought a piano, and
his neighbor. on seeing it arrive at
the house. came and looked over the
Arizona republican., 1922-05-28

Vile
With
TOM SIMS
1t will soon be time to start liking
winter better than summer.
The world gets better. You seldom
hear ukulele now.
1t is seven years bad luck for
breaking mirror and often more
than that for breaking a law.
AS a rule, the man who is driven
to drink was going anyway.
The school of experience doesn't
hold any graduation exercises.
Hi Johnson wants a prohibition
duty on foreign nuts. Rather hard
/ on some lecturers.
Congress is going to loaf an hour
earlier every day now.
A rosebud mouth is fine until it
opens.
There can't be any harmony with
everybody trying to do solo.
Some politicians throwing their
hats into the ring don't care what
happens to their hats.
Russia's orders will be dictated but
not red.
In London, they are cutting off
their little toes so they can wear mar
row shoes. Amt the women awful?
The will of the people is orten
broken.
The trouble with a girl throwing
herself at. man is she has to pick
herself up afterward.
There isn't any payday for laboring
under a delusion.
dresses. People who wear straw
dresses should keep away from lawn
mowers.
Our objection to banquets is we
hate to miss meal.
Fordney was once a sawmill hand T.
but that hasn't anything TO do with
the tariff log rolling
Real estate men might sell lots by
advertising Dirt Cheap
People who talk in their sleep
should stay awake in church.
This paper shortage in Germany
isn't a paper money shortage.
This prizefighter writing novels ex-
poets them to have the punch.
Wettest town in the Z. $. is in
Mississippi 1t got washed away.
Lots OF us can see how the styles
have changed by comparing our suits
with the new ones.
Taxis or taxes. they cost lot With
out going very far.
It's perfectly natural TO sing. "oh
say can you see?' after bootiee
party.
with malaria starting, this Is tine
time for all good lemons to come To
the ade of their country.
The skinny have slender chance
of keeping cool; but the plump
they have a fat chance.
Maybe Burbank could cross mos
ouitoes with fish and make them
anxious to bite.
Peasants gave Princess Marie g
p,1re gold dress and well bet she
could hardly wait for Sunday.
When a flapper bushes you nave
to take her word for it.
None of the men who would make
nerfect husbands are married.
Methuselah lived to be 96s; but he
never lodged autos.
The most peculiar thing about the
women's new knickerbockers is they
fasten below the knee.
A friend is a man who cusses the
same people you cuss.
They say Will Hays often works 20
hours day: but that may just be
what viii tells his wife.
Gas prices have already reached
their annual August height.
Baseball crowds are not as big this
season. The unemployment situa-
tion is improving right along.
At the time of going to press Chi
cago was leading New York by two
robberies and one shooting.
New straw lids are called "nobby."
Nobby hats for nobby heads.
The reason some merchants have
to charge so much is they have to
charge everything.
In Boston, a neighbor's rent was
cut because the landlords baby cried
at night. Alta baby.
Hints
Arizona republican., 1922-05-28
Laugh With Us

The prisoner had been given SEN
tence of seven days without the op-
tion of paying a fine.
Arizona republican., 1922-05-28

Although he had never been to sea
before, Casey got job as a deck
hand. The vessel was four DAYS out,
Arizona republican., 1922-05-28

The secretary of the department of
the interior. in Washington, has re-
ceived more than 100000 applications
from former service men, who desire
to settle on farms. In addition. in
quiries concerning available land is
being made by hundreds of thousands
of men.
Arizona republican., 1922-05-28

Out of 5000 members of the Ac-
tresses' Union in England, more than
1000 are out of work.
Arizona republican., 1922-05-28

mighty bad, but amt never washed
a eagle"
Arizona republican., 1922-05-28

string of expressive adjectives, and
told the Irishman to throw buoy to
the drowning man.
In less than two minutes Casey re-
turned, gasping for breath, and
blurted out:
please, sir, Oh couldn't catch the
bhoy at all, at all, so I threw the
Chinese cook overheard
Arizona republican., 1922-05-28

the other.
TELL you how it is, boss, he said,
finally. II sure does want a job
Arizona republican., 1922-05-28

Little Horace was sent to his room
as a punishment for taking forbidden
cake from the cupboard. His mother,
Arizona republican., 1922-05-28

The skinny have slender chance
of keeping cool; but the plump
they have fat chance.
Arizona republican., 1922-05-28

With malaria starting, this Is tine
time for all good lemons to come 10
the ade of their country.
Arizona republican., 1922-05-28

It's perfectly natural TO sing. "Oh
say can you see?" after q bootleg
party.
Arizona republican., 1922-05-28

The reason some merchants have
to charge so much is they have to
charge everything.
Arizona republican., 1922-05-28

Nearly one third of the population
of the world are Christians
Arizona republican., 1922-05-28

Maybe Burbank could cross mos
ouitoes with fish and make them
anxious to bite.
Arizona republican., 1922-05-28

Taxis or taxes. they cost lot with
out going very far.
Arizona republican., 1922-05-28

New straw lids are called "nobby.'
Nobby hats for nobby heads.
Arizona republican., 1922-05-28

Lots OF us can see how the styies
have changed by comparing our suits
with the new ones.