The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1922-05-17

ShoS Soh olhS Oh
their raids, loft in the Silly night"
Wireless telephone is popular, but
wireless politics have not yet arrived.
Anyway the politicians are attend
ing carefully to the duty of getting
reelected.
Don't keep the piano closed; it
needs airing just as much as the
clothes closet.
The richer the man, the more he
hates 10 spend a half dollar for a new
pair of garters.
Heat lemons slightly before III
ing and note how much more juice
comes from them.
1t seems as though the only way for
a rich man TO be healthy is to live as
though he were poor.
After we have celebrated all kinds
of weeks and days, it might be well
to have a Work Week.
The men are not supposed to criti-
else women's clothes, their sole func-
ton is to pay for them.
A bald man should try some of this
hootch on his vacant scalp, and see
if it would not grow some hair.
The housewives of Pleasantville say
that what this country needs is fewer
powder puffs and more brooms.
Jazz is called the national anthem,
but it is not necessary to rise and re-
move ones hat when tits played.
The railroads aren't selling so many
tickets to the cities as formerly, but
they are selling more return trips.
The ladies remove their hats in the
theatres, but the boys with the pom
padour cuts still obstruct the view.
The hand that used to rock the
cradle is o. reaching across the
bridge table to play partners cards.
Claimed the country people are
slow; but anyway they don't get all
out of breath chasing the latest fad.
Perhaps the reason why some folks
practice cheek to cheek dancing, is
that their weak heads need propping
up.
Many non-advertising merchants are
~restfully sleeping, waiting for pros
perity to come along and wake them
up.
Everybody should have a living
wage, but a lot of folks aren't salts
fed unless they have a %flivvering
wage.
Before joining in the lively modern
dances, the girls should see that their
artificial hair and false teeth are firm
ly fastened on.
Frozen credits are said to have
caused the business trouble of last
year, but most people think it was
simply cold feet.
AS the kitchen towels start to wear
out, place two together, stitch around
the edges, through the middle, and
once on each side.
To hear the kids of Pleasantville
| rushing into the pantry after school,
you would think they were the starv-
ing millions of Russia. :
May be all right for the automobile
s~peeders to cut these corners so rapid
ly,. but they should keep n wheel
out of four OF the ground.
While the bridegroom will not be
much of a factor in the June we'd
dings, it will be a mistake to try to
have one without him
Six million children said to have.
faulty vision, but they will all be able
to see any good fruit hat the house
holder raises this summer
One of the principal national re-
sources which this country has scarce
ly begun to utilize, is the collection of
fines from automobile speeders.
The ministers of Pleasantville can't
always see results from their sermons,
but you should see the changes after
the fashion magazines get around.
The jangling of heavy trucks over
the city paving stones is a mighty
poor substitute for the sweet bird
songs of spring in the smaller towns.
Business men say a more rapid
turnover is necessary. But the speed
ing motorists do not ask for any more
rapid turnover as they roll into the
ditch.
If the United States were as thick
ly populated as England in compari-
son to its size, we would have a pop
ulation of mi billion, one hundred
million.
America may be the home of strong
men and fair women, but to the Arabs
and Bulgarians, whose diet is mainly
milk, belong the laurels for physique
and long life.
If the fish that goes into the ice box
is first wrapped in oil paper, nearby
butter, eggs and strawberry ShOrtcake
will not taste as though they had been
caught in the sea.
Gran'ma says: Things haven't
changed much these last so years.
Riches and i'll health still go hand in
hand and happiness hovers nearest
those brave young things who are
starting life together on a little money
and a lot of faith.
Some of the farmers of New Jersey
are still growing side or horse-mane
oats, a type of oat which looks a great
deal better than it really is. Expert
ments with Dat varieties in various
states, says H. r. Cox, farm crop spe-
cialist from the New Jersey Agricul-
tural College, have shown beyond
doubt that the side oat is a low yield
er.
OF every 1000 automobiles in the
world, S43 are owned in the United
States and 81 in Canada. This means
that lightweight per cent of all the
automobiles are found in these two
countries. Great Britain has four per
cent of the total number of auto vehi-
cles, France two per cent, and in all
other countries combined are found
the remaining six per cent.
Sometimes a young alfalfa stand
becomes weedy previous to its first
cutting. There is a temptation to
NOW the crop early so as to check the