South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1922-02-19
You KnOzU What Men Are!
By James y. Montague

in the altogether" than with a hick
tie Ike that.
Grace-wen here's one that is
fine.
George-Grease spots as big as
dimes on 'em. I wore it that time
the waiter spilled the gravy over
me.
Grace-wen. that seems to be all
of them.
George-AH right, we can't go,
that's all
Grace-But George we must go
George--Look here Grace, you
knew about this dinner. and it was
up 70 you to have the stuff ready.
Grace-But I only knew It after
you'd left the office, too ate 10 tele-
phone.
George-Oh all right. give me the
blamed greasy tie. suppose I'll get
there finally In overalls, and
jumper, but I'll get there. I don't
want 70 go, and I'll have to sacri-
fee the only night Of rest I'm a week.
one I've been looking forward to
and thinking about, and anticipat-
ing. but-come on. give mo the tie.
Grace can't very well get out
Of it.
George-Where's my susrenders?
Grace-Those old ones? gave
them to the Salvation Army, 7 sup
posed you always used a belt. and
George-If I used a belt with
these trousers. two inches Of the
legs would drag along the ground
But 7 suppose I can sew them %
myself some way. or nail them
maybe How about my dinner
jacket-did you give that to the
Salvation Army.
GRACE Certainly not
George-WeH I'm surprised that
you didn't! You give all my maya
zines and my newspapers and all
my pet rain coats and my CORES
pOndence 10 'em. I feel like search
ing every one Of 'em I meet for
those letters you gave 10 'em.
Grace-Do hurry George.
George Gathering his face)
I'm hurrying as fast as can. I
wanted to get everything collected.
Where's the safety razor blades?
Grace-The old ones. I had them
put in the garbage can. You said
you would get a new package.
George-That settles it, no shave.
GRACEFUL didn't you get the
new blades
George-Grace, you have lived
with me long enough 10 know that
I never remember safety razor
blades Nobody ever does. Never
mind though. I'll go dredge the gar
bage cans for the old ones.
beginning 10 sniff They
to-took them away.
George-Did you promise TO go to
this thing?
Grace-Yes, and we're needed for
bridge afterward.
George-Au right I'll shave with
an old fashioned razor. I suppose
they won't object 70 my showing up
half scalped and with only one ear.
SO long as I have the right clothes
on. Gle begins to strOr an old style
razor) What did you do with my
sleeve links?
Grace-Tve put them in your
shirt
George Which ones?
Grace-The pearl ones. was tina,
wrong
George-No, o. X. I'll be with you
i'm minute.
CTen minutes later George walks
downstairs. his face a little dam
aged by the unaccustomed razor, but
neatly and correctly attired. At thnt
moment the telephone rings. George
answers it,
George-Yes. Mrs. Cartwright.
this is Mr.. Perkins. Yes. Oh yes in
deed. Not al all Certainly. On no.
Yes 1 understood it that way. Grace
told me. Yes 1 know. Just come i'm
business clothes. No. Surely not. I
hadn't thought of dressing. I knew
you were regular folks and wouldn't
want a chap to doll up on a min
ute's notice. Thank you. Wen be
right over. It may take me minute
or two 10 efface the stains Of labor
that's all Good-by see YOU soon,
Gle puts down the telephone
GRACE
Grace-What is it?
George pair of scissors
and cut me out Of this rig quick.
Somebody has showed up there in
a business suit and that old harri-
dan is going to make us all come
that way
Copyright. 1920