The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1922-01-30


It's, They say
JAY G. sIGMUND.
OUR compliments to Werner w Schroeder,
who presented the Small-Curtis motions for
separate trials. He is a gentleman of gentle
sarcasm. Speaking of the Chicago Tribune he
says the paper alleges and admits" on its
front page that it is "the worlds greatest
newspaper. Still, we have inside infor-
nation that it muffed the last chance it had to
retain that title.
OH, CHEER UP; A GOOD JOKE IS LIKE
GOOD WINE. YOU KNOW.
No, Mac, l amt that bird; but know i'm
He leading the orchestra and was the
other one who smiled (now l wish he hadn't,
but didn't know he sent that in TO B. l. T.
eight years ago or 1 would never have infiict-
Ell it upon you Why 1 sprung it (sprung
is good after all these years, 1 don't know
it is really Observation-Disclosures criminal.
1t happened in a little town near Terre
Haute (where people are surprised at nothingl
and the congregation all looked as if they were
lost in contemplation of a corpse they had
left at homo, and even when they got outside
the church they continued deep in serious
meditation presumably on the body at home)
so how was 1 to know My
apologies trail off into meek and chagrined
silence. Pardonnez-moi! LIE MOQUEUR-
A PUZZLED correspondent at AIedo mails
us two clippings After looking at them we
don't wonder at his puzzlement. Above the
two-colUmn picture of o. l. handsome
woman the monmouth Atlas prints the caption,
Child Sculptress Now Dancer and beneath
labels the picture as that OF Albertina Vitak,
H. of Chicago. The second clipping taken
from the Galesburg Mail, shows the same wom-
an with the caption, "Amnesia Victim Is
Found, and further declares the lady's name
is Mrs. Aubrey Bull, wife Of New York bank
teller
MEBBE so; BUT THEY SAVE US LOTTA
WORK
Mac: You know, Mac. these pills who are
always feefng about a fiat discus on the Hun
toon electric. WaSsa matter with these gents?
Amt they got no sense of proportion a tall?
Wassa little click between frens. Don't they
know nothin about this here Co operation
thing that was brang out by the company?
Why don't they close up their traps unlessen
1t be about something that is for the good of
the service? For instense, take the shippers
OF the one-man SHOWS that slip around every
onct in awhile. Think OF the chanst them
birds run and you never hear them beein
about 1t much. L hearn one gink say as how
he'd been bumped four times already and
meDbe ned have to take the night run. II
s'pose he hggers if he takes the night stretch
they can't see him good to bump him Why
don't they frame them guys with a set of bump
ers so If they can't dodge it the least they
can fgger is it won't hurt 'em so much
don't know, Mac; been readin' your junk
Tor quite stretch and can't peg it out that
you done so much good gettin' that bunch of
Greeks to write for you. I've knowed unite a |
bunch OF them ginks, workin' on the section |
three years on an on, and you can't trust 'em
PLATE OF THOUSAND.
"HIIMAN body is three-ffths water and
one fifth carbon" says an Argus filler
Now, will some one tell us what the other
fifth is?
do You Suppose, the WaIrus BEGAN. Rut !
the Carpenter Yelled, @Shut Up!r
IFrcm The Sherrard (nl) Bulletin
A schedule is being arranged where
by the boys and girls will have certain
afternoons for practice In this way il
IS probable that there will be more per
feet attendance at practice, as the stu
dents can can arrange their plans in
accordance with it.
OH. SCAMOZZI! HERE'S ANOTHER BIRD
DIGGING IN YOUR NEST
Dear Mac: This bloated plutoerat Scamoz.
Or Scamooz Il suppose he owns one share of Il
me IL s. w. E. Company better not stem on
me toes OF us common people. 1 agree with
me rest or my fellow corpses about our roll
ng STOCK, and you can also tell friend Scamo'
hat we also have couple OF angular wheeled
vehicles on the Thirty-eighth street stub 7
happened to be on the front platform of ono
If the boxes when we ground off a norton of
'aid squares by sliding at express speed the ,
ull length OF Zion Hill Whew! talk ab0ut
1our coasters. We all heaved a sigh of reiief
when We came to stop a few feet from a ,
Fourth Avenue bus
Well, anyway, il Scamoz' does his for ia II
herr duty his dividend will he nil for thn
iext quarter.
Maybe we shouldn't kick we ride for five
ents soon provided we bribe the officials SOC d,
or said privilege. SIRITS wv
FOR week we have had a half dozen !
ZONES slowed away in the upper right hand l
rawer or our desk. Every day we have been
empted to print the whole bunch in one coI- {
UNI and take day of-and every day We I
ave resisted the temptation. You who read
his coiyum probably do not realize how mnch $
ain we bear for you; and we suspect Won are
ot as grateful as you should be-
SATURDAY Peoria woman announced she t
he temperature read above zero. a
NOTHING surprising about that Robins @
ant read a thermometer !
& E MIG. in