Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1922-02-01
Miss Florence Minis Glasses
Mathematics With EgyP-
tian Plague.
Dear Advertisers:

Dear Advertiser:
My mind runs naturally along the
line of education from September
till May or June and not at all dur
ing July and August. Then | have to
look up the word school in the die
tionary to see if it is something edi-
BILE or if it is in some slight way con-
nected with learning. However, since
this is mid-winter 1 am still breath
ing the atmosphere of the school
room, which air 1 sometimes believe
contains history dates and mathemat-
ical calculations instead of oxygen.
However, I teach neither of the
before mentioned subjects.
Someone has said that dates are
the pegs on which to hang historical
facts, and alas, my pegs have been so
long without facts that have forgot
ten the pegs, too, and only remember
one of fourteen nine-two.s recall
that because little rhyme accompa-
nies it which says that in that year
columbus sailed the ocean blue,"'
and if / ever forget that rhyme the
fact will be a blank to me, and the,
dark and the light ages will become
so nearly one to me that / shall re-
member only-dusk.
1 once heard a story of an old
professor of whom it is said that were
one to look at drop of his blood
through a microscope he would find
commas, exclamation points and in
terrogation marks instead of corpus
cles. At forty I shall make an ideal
school ma'am, for already am so alb
sent-minded that, well, every few
hours my mind is present for little
while.
Speaking of mathematics, I have a
theory concerning that also, even as l
have in regard to the Indians but
can not prove it. If I could prove my
theories they would become common
place like any other. sordid facts, but;
as it is now, I have the distinct ction Of
being laag You re:as:sfssa. sa.;
the early Egyptians were clever
mathematicians. Now hark to my
words of wisdom! believe that math-
ematics was one of the plaques visit
ed upon them for not allowing the
children of Israel to leave. To have
to learn arithmetic is infinitely worse
than to have locusts descending up
on you. Locusts finally die, but math
becomes dearer yearly to the hearts
of pedagogues. l was trying to multi
ply something the other day in a
store with another faculty member.
I insisted that three times twelve is
twenty-four. Turning to the proprie-
tor she said "Miss Minis does not
teach math."
In an awed whisper he replied that
it was good thing I did not.
The poor Egyptians, like the Chi
nese who adopted the wearing of a
queue as national custom after it
had been inflicted upon them as a
temporary insult by the Tartars,
confused curse with blessing, and
not only learned the multiplication
table but, trigonometry and analyti-
cal geometry, perhaps, the very
names of which stupify me, and af-
ter repeating the words 1 ann rem
dered incapable of further thought
for several minutes afterwards.
In the play equality Street" by
James M. Barrie, two delicate old
maid sisters are teaching small, Sc
lect school during the Napoleonic
wars, and among other things they
are attempting algebra. One of them,
the elder of the two, sits at the desk
preparing the lesson and saying over
and over to herself that certain let
tiers of the alphabet equal certain
others. Finally, in desperation, she
calls her sister, with tears in her
voice, saying that here she sits re-
peating x plus y equals 20 (or words
to that effect) and all the time she
wonders why they should equal twen-
ty, and ever is in terror for fear a
small, mischievous boy, Arthur, may
contradict her, and she can not up-
hold her statement. If ever go on
the stage want to play that part:
FLORENCE MINIS,