Milford chronicle., 1922-03-24
BAYARD NEWS

Having fine weather thus far this weel
roads improving, and many "Fords
moving over the roads.
Frank Hickman has had his Ford over
hauled lately, but she is hardly equal t,
the task of pulling" through the baC
piece of road near his home.
Miss Mae Hickman is spending few
days in Lewes.
Well, March 18th has arrived, al "in-
comes taxes should be filed ind return
ed to the county seat.
Chas. Lynch has met many of the
''taxables" at "Bayards" and has prop
erly fixed up their papers for. returning
the filing fee of $500.
Some one has studied out a simplified
method of helping those who may yet
need to know further details before the
final limit, April 18th, has arrived, now,
in order to render any assistance. the
plan" will be submitted as follows:
In the first place it must be worked
out by algebra, astronomy trigomometry,
syntaX, and palmistry; and should not
be undertaken till competent authority
certifies your ability to prove material
products consumed by anyone producing
nothing during the taxable period, has
an excess he otherwise would not have
possessed.
If your income is $24OO year and you
own ton of coal or a diamond ring and
an automobile, and are married to a
brunette girl, 26 yrs. old, you take the
amount of the income, add your per-
sonal property, subtract your mail box
number multiply by your height, add
the date of your birth, and divide by
your waist measure.
If there is a child in the family, sub
tract $500 from your income, add the
amount of your personal property sub
tract the size of your collar, emitting
fractions-divide by the square root of
your telephone number, add the child's
age, subtract the amount you have given
the church during the year; multiply by
the time of day, divide by 4.3116, and
add the size of your hat with and with
out the hat band. If there is a second
child in the family, or you Keep a pet
dog, divide by the number of your au-
tomobile license tag, subtract the num-
ber of buttons on your vest, take six
per cent of the answer and add seven
weight of your mother-in-
law.
If wife has a separate income and !
joint return is wanted, divide by the |
sum of her glove and shoe size e plus |
Z equals 15) instead of automobile Ii
cense tag.
After you get it all figured out and |
have arrived at an answer which may be
right and which probably is not, you
won't have to pay taxes of any name or !
nature, for they will have you in the
BOBBY hatch-strapped down.
Just another word, let's all go right
along and pay our filing fee, and have no
more nonsense about it, it is done for
he good of our State. We cannot oper-
ate our schools, etc, without taxes OF
some nature. No more is to be said on
he subject-enough has been said.
Weather conditions are getting ad-
usted now to the needs of the farmer,
no more bad weather follows.
The setting of strawberry plants is
icing held back, but we think to soon
,egin plowing for this work.
Our P. T. A at Halls No 20, held
heir meeting at the school house last
Friday evening, March 18th, and we all
pent a very pleasant evening. The
Program was rendered by the school
hildren and was enjoyed by all. The
ocial committee served ice cream and
AXE and through this means money was
aised for the benefit Of the school,