New-York tribune., 1922-09-03
How to Behave
By Will Cunny

1t is rude on her part to ignore it.
Nothing could be more ill-bred than
to treat curtly any overture made in
spontaneous friendiiness. No thorough
bred lady would ever refuse to shake
any hand that is honorable, not even
the hand of coal HEAVIER, at the risk
OF her fresh, white glove"
This worries me little. If a gentle
man goes about making spontaneous
oyertures, it seems as though he might
learn to heave something nicer than
coal. If he insists upon heaving coal,
why not wash up when he feels an
approaching attack of spontaneity ?
Where did this happen? On the wagon
caveman complex, or was she only
kidding him into filling the coal bin
l can only hope that the coal HEAVIER
kept his walls up. Perhaps ne did.
For, 'to be courteously polite, and yet
keep ones walls up, is thing every
thoroughbred person knows how to do
and thing that every one who is
trying to become such must learn to
do" But was he a thoroughbred, or
even trying to become such? Every
thing depends upon whether or not he
had the support, as it were, of the sus-
penders of etiquette.
Even manual laborer, it seems to
me, could become q gentleman if he
put his mind to it. The candidate must
merely remember to take off his hat
when a lady enters the elevator, or a
funeral is passing, never to nudge,
push or pat people, nor $50 much as put
his finger tips on a lady" C'keep your
hands to Yourself" page 96 and not
to eat the table decorations, though if
Eo HnpS ilnuy fa,I Of tbo g
fects mo great harm is done" Also,
mo gentleman ever goes to a lady's
house if affected by alcohol" the pre-
sumption being that he must wait till
he gets there. In word, be simple.
But not too simple. And keep your
walls up.
"Well-bred people" one learns, avoid
certain words and expressions that are
admitted by etymology. Why? Don't
ask me. They never say "Do you not %
preferring always, Don't your For
myself, l find that | must give up
"Well, declare" and "'Pon my word
and also "Pray, accept my thanks for
the f1attering ovation you have ten
dered me-"
The best people often write, as we'll
as read and figure, since they are
called upon to compose letters of
thanks. Mrs. Post advises the novice
in this art to study first the Bible for
simplicity of style, and then, for un-
named virtues, "such authors as Robert
Louis Stevenson, E. S. Martin, Agnes
Repplier, John Galsworthy and Max
Beerbohm." Those who have little
Latin and less Greek and no English
whatever may find Beerbohm hard to
duplicate at first. / suggest that only
the wealthier try Max
One word more. "People of position
are people of position the world over.'
Not only that, but "All people of posi-
tion talk alike, behave alike and live
alike" | felt sure that Mrs. Post was
going to add that one person of posi-
tion was born every minute But no.
Great heavens! These p. Of p. are Best
Society. They are ladies and gentle
men.
Well, one must make the best of
things. have read the book and !
suppose that | am now person of
position. | am gentleman. Should
from time to time see fit not to act as
one nobody can say that | don't know
how. If ever / am invited to dinner
where butter is served or s separate
vegetable saucer (see page 585) shall
do the only thing a man of my social
standing conceivably could do. I shall
get up and leave.