davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New-York tribune., 1922-05-07

~ ATHER (who has just returned from &
r. golf esson)-It's funny to me that
that kid hasn't learned to walk yet.
Here he is year old and still creep
ing about on the floor Why don't you get
him on his feet?
Mother-I was Just going to tell you. He
walked to-day--two steps. Isn't that wonder
full!
Father--If he can walk two steps he can
walk block. All he needs is little conf
dence. Have you been doing anything to
help him7
Mother-I put his lttls hands on the chair
rung, and once he let go and walked those two
steps like a little hero. After he bumped his
precious nose, though, he wouldn't try it again.
Father-Thats just the trouble He lost
heart after one little failure and you let him
get away with it. What kind of man do you
expect him to be if he is permitted to be a
gutter now? How can he fight the battles of
life if he is allowed to grow up a coward?
What sort Of golf game will he play if he
drops the game the first time he foozle,?
Why don't you teach him to walk?
Mother-Well, he is so young and so timid
Just baby
Father-That's the trouble. He'll be baby
just as long as you baby him. It's time he
was stepping out now. If you don't want to
teach him to walk l will
Mother-Well, perhaps you ought to. But
you mustn't be cross with him.
Father-Trust me for that. 1t is impossible
to teach anybody anything without infinite
patience. You ought to see how gentle that
golf pro is with some of the dubs he is trying
to teach. Never gets ruf7ed, no matter what
they DO Come here, baby. Come here, I say.
Come Aere' Can't you hear me?
Baby-Wov.
New-York tribune., 1922-05-07


"There was = fella had stable over on
1 :rhirtyelshth Street, an he used to let out
the loft overhead to animal acts that was
rcstn' up. He'd board lions OF tigers or bears
or anything a all in that line overhead IN his
stable, an they was most always a mess of
animals there
< "The boys used TO like to go up an look EN-
\ over sometimes, an | remember one time he
had bear there that nobody ever could train
30to 90 nothin'. He had the reputation OF bein
n the most worthless bear from a showman's
t point Of view that ever come outa the woods.
K He wouldn't do nothn' only claw his trainers,
Z an he done that pretty good.
O 'There was lad named Qunn--an' If 7
i. remember right his name was George too,
which shows on the face Of it that there was
t somethin' queer about hinl-an' this lad wit
8 the impossible name called all hands over to
: the stable one day an says he's going to show
n. that bear what's what He's goin to run him
!. in circles, he says.
, "He done it. He was that fast on his feet
you couldn't tell whether it was George Quinn
3, 'chasn the bear or the bear chasin' George
:, Quinn. It was fine exhibition, anyhow.
= "Now, that's the way it is wit this fella
: lloyd George. He's terrible fast on his feet,
an just standin' by an watchin you never
can tell is he chasin' the bear or is the bear
d chasin' him. But it's always fine exhibition
= an humane, too.
"Some ways think Lloyd George has it on
George Quinn. Quinn, he never come around
askin' fer no more bear training He used
to brag quite & lot about the bear he trained,
but he never asst did anybody have another
bear he wanted trained, an he never offered to
take on no lions nor tigers, either. I got my
suspicious he wasn't no natural-born bear
trainer.
This fella Lloyd George. though, the faster
they come the better he likes it. He don't want
nothin' better than a whole ringful of animals
him an them all racin' around together, an
you can't tell which is doin' the chasin'.
eSomehow or other, he don't never get really
clawed, either, though, as I say amt quite
Seeded whether it's because he's fast on his
Yeet or because he's natural-born trainer.
"It he gets away with it about twice more
Pm wilin' to admit he's natural-born train
er, an don't care whether he's English or
Welsh. either"
New-York tribune., 1922-05-07
BY JAMES J. MONTAGUE

Motber~There, you have hurt his little feel
ings. See. he is trying to Green under the
chair and hide from You
tather--Ferhaps I was little hasty
But he seems so dumb, Here, darling, come
to father. (The baby proceeds toward the
chair and father retrieves him and places him
in q standing position beside chair Now.
that's the first position, baby. Now have con
fdence IN father and in YOURSELF You can
walk lf you try. Just walk now for father.
Baby-Wudge,
Father-What does ''wldge" mean?
Mother~~That he is afraid. You've fright
ened him. DO try not to be so rough
Father-An right. Now see. baby. Look
at father. Do like father does. No, don't
stumble out like that. Keep little eyes on the
feet. That's the important thing. Now fol
low through with then--see? Like father
one after another--that's the baby.
BabyWudgc. =
Father-What did you say "wldge' meant?
Mother-When he says it that way it means
New-York tribune., 1922-05-07

1outl pe waking clear Way over TO that sofa
in minute If you'll only do what father tells
you.
Baby-~Wudge. WUDGE!
Father-Confound it, how do yols exrect 70
learn to walk If you lose your temper? Don't
you know that nobody who amounts to anv-
thing ever loses his temper? Can't you see
that losing your temper will put you of YOUR
swing and keep you from ever learning how TO
do t2
Bahy--Wow'
Mother~-Aren't you just little harsh with
him? You know it's all SO new. He never
walked moro than two steps in all his little
life
Father~Well, he never will walk two steps
if he don't pay some attention to what I'm
telling him. Here I'm giving him the benefit
OF all my experience. and he just stands there
and gapcs at me. Come now, baby, look at
father and do just as father does--keep your
head down. Pivot your right foot st the hip.
Follow through. Snap the ankle just mite
Set down the foot on the floor Keep vour
eye on it. Now
Baby (pitching forward on g rocking horse)
Wow! WOW -WOEOW!
Mother-Never mind, mothers precious.
Mother kiss place and make it we'll. Pretty
soon ums learn to walk, not now. Baby not
big, smart man like father. Catches him up)
rather-Well. of course, if you're goinx to
made molycoddle out of him he'll 7,evea
leara to walk. I could teach him In ten min
utes if you'd let me. It's easy enough if the
little simpleton would only do what he's told
and learn to concentrate, but he won't, SO l.
suppose he'll creep until he votes Goodby, I
hsc I'll 10 c1,,
Mother-~How did you do this morning. dear?
Father-Rotten. That professional is such
a chuckehead. He insists that l can't learn
to play unless ! do the way he does, which
nobody could do. Why the poor fish doesn't
know how he does it himself.
Copyright. 1saa James j. A1ontasu.
New-York tribune., 1922-05-07
suspected George Bernard

HAVE always suspected George Bernard
Shaw Of mental unsoundness. He is
either insincere or bit off his head. If
the former. he is beneath contempt for
there is nothing easier than to lie to the public
In the latter case, however which is probably
.Ae as1ual one, he is more 10 be pited than cen-
sared. lie is almost certainly attainted with
the Celtic trace of madness, half diabolc, half
divine, like modern cocktail
! became particularly convinced Of this ir-
nationality by scanning a recent rotograyurc
portrait OF G. B. S. and reading the caption,
which stated in answering who's who" oues-
ton that his fayoritc recreation was "anythinc
but sport"
Now, this may be but airy persiAage or,
again, it may be. as l think an honest index
Of the writer's character To me Shaw seems
The least sportsmanlike creature in the world
Which brings to my mind the fact that there
IS tremendous difference between sport and
sport
Let nc clucidate Boiled down to its sim
plest form, l sec sport the real grand game
competition between men. I admit nothing
sport in which this clement Of human com
petition does not exist. The competition
mast be alike in species and must be equally
armed, otherwise competition docs not exist. ]
realize that this throws out practically all the
magnificent huntsmen who thrill each other
with their tales OF caribou, bear and Big horns.
Bat these feat are, after all. only scientific
sIauehter. l have no tremendous theoretical
objections to this sort Of thing, bat tie actual
filling IS manifestly not sport \ man with
an express rife that can bore through a bear
at 800 yards has certain advantage which
cannot he overlooked If you do not think SO
give him the rifle some day and you play bear.
Neither should expect him to 60 up against
New-York tribune., 1922-05-07

mont, namely, that in competition between
men who are equally equipped we find the
highest kind of sport.
Shaw, | think, is not that kind Of sports
man. He doesn't want competition; he wants
the rifle in his hand, the rifle Of his wit,
which he usually has. With that he pots at
preachers and bowls over little hypocrisics.
But he does it so deXterously, he makes such
direct hits and from such distance, that the
blcachcrs applaud wildly. They think only
Of what marvellous shot Mr.. Shaw is and
quite forget that, after all, he is shooting
only at clay pigeons, or what is even more
pitiable, at ministers.
The fact is that Mr. Shaw doesn't like
competition. Super inclectuals seldom do
They can't associate with average folk with
out sneering at them. This gets them into
so many rows that they prefer to isolate
themselves. If they appear in public at all
they cultivate a majestic manner and talk
down to people Their own conccit is
cloak which they admire greatly but which
| suspect was bestowed upon them at birth
by fairy with sense of humor, for if vou
examine this cloak carefully YOU VIII see that
1t IS one Of those garments which make tho
New-York tribune., 1922-05-07

the bear barehanded. In writing the previ-
Gus sentence I wish to disclan1 the obvious and
correspondngly feeble wheeze) No; this sort
Of contest would be most unsportsmanlike on
the part Of the bear. The bear wouldn't know
this. If he ran across an unarmed tourist
back Of the Glen View House and clawed him
into shredded meat he would probably trot
back to Mrs. Bruin and tell her and the kid
dies the most narrowing bedtime story Of
how he had terrific struggle with this pow
erful human giant.
That's the way feel when one of these
mighty Nimrods says: Il Just caught a
glimpse Of him as he came up on little
knoll and let him have it. 1t knocked him
twenty feet Then he leads You up TO
soft-cyed head that looks at YOU appcangIy
from over the mantel. Sport? Bunk!
The real sport is where the competition
comes in. What these huntsmen and
fishermen really enjoy is the competi-
New-York tribune., 1922-05-07

getting on and whether they wcro run
ming as fast as they could or had slowed
down, or were resting preparatory to another
squirt, were limping or crawling or had just
plain quit? That malicious Hogarth has ac-
tualy drawn a number Of his friends. Mercy
me, hope they won't get offended at seeing
themselves in print, But you probably know
them.
The first couple on the left is quite a
pathetic case. 1t is sort Of double entry.
They the young Walter Tuppers He
is a business man Of extraordinary ability.
He Is racing for success in his particular field
(automobiIc accessores). But he is fear
fully handicapped by his wife, whose self
selected prize is her husbands love Her at
tempts to win this frequently knock Walter
out Of his stride. Just as he is about 70 pass
some of his rivals she pulls him back by
refusing to let him 90 to the Western Deal
ers' meeting in Cleveland. Every time Wa
ter proposes to dine down town with big
manufactures the poor child bursts into tears
and faints al the phone. Perhaps they
would get on better separately
The fattish gentleman in the sweater is
Henry Hobbs remarkable long distance run
ncr The reward Henry has picked out for
New-York tribune., 1922-05-07

Corneba Van Brunt, who distinctly reroer
bers when Henry's grandfather used to ve
Strawberries" as he pushed his little fr7,,.
cart past her grandfathcr's house. This ra,o
started long ago. Ever since he was ninetae=
Henry has been chasing after the coy Cor4ela
She was young and beautiful then. In bs,
Dresden way, but alas! she has aged While ss1
ran, never once looking back in poor Hobbs
direction, but fixed unatcraby upon her
dividua} guerdon Of woman suffrage u,
china pink checks have paed to paste and r..
hair is as false as her Henry is true +
much to be feared that tho faithful go,.
would be fcarfully joted we're she 10 turr .,
look favorably upon him now But KIND Y.
Hogarth suggests that he will be SCARED u,
disillusionment Cornclia's race is velfai,.
over She is obviously failing at the ust.
jump.
The next poor creature you see has .r
merged entirely. She has gone down IN. 49,
third time. We cannot say for sure. but ~.
impression is that M Hogarth wishes N ...
gest, very wickediy, that she is the IN rorturs,
Mrs. Wicklow, the rich old lady ush9 MARI
young Wicklow. the good-ookiny ro.l~, na,r.
cr who Is clntchng her ankles Itrigf4 SEQ
that he was endeavoring to p0il her OUT. h.
greatly fear he Is actually ho.diro 6or .-
that most uncomfortable position osora a..
viii surely perish soon, # she has MT r,4.
already.
OF course, you have already recoqn:zed ~.
ly Helen Oglethorpe In the ezaui~t-e r~oa.,~.
who is falling over the fence, displavin, speas
New-York tribune., 1922-05-07

and everything Dear Heen. she Is 50 Al
tractive and 90 apid. but she " trip over
the fences Of convention. However, in spite q
barriers, Helen runs 4 good race, and It Is
always fascinating 70 watch her in action.
Last. but not least, on the right, Is Louis i
Mar the poet, whose prize Is his ideal, Who's
progress brooks no check or delav.
mus IN each Of these instances we see hov
dlherent each Of US runs his or her rae
And we know, too, that we all strike compet
ton, that noblest kind Of envy.
TO compete well, to strive nightly, to ru.
as fast as you can, that IS the game. In so.t-
Of al its bumps and misadventures. how much
finer it is than Just perching on the fence and
jeering at the others in the race!
New-York tribune., 1922-05-07

bet he'd make a good bear trainer.
New-York tribune., 1922-05-07

wca-cr appear as he really is, so that you and
|, If We look closely, may know that he ia
after all, quite mcnial person. He does
not build streets; he sweeps them or he walks
furtvely along the curb and fishes broken
umbrellas and cracked cups out Of ash cans
The triumphant way he has of holding up his
treasure trove is almost as funny as the ap-
plausc which greets his act
Life has been described as a race. but il
IS only so if you run. If you simply SIT on
bank and criticize the form Of the other run
ners it is certainly not much Of race, at
least not for you. 1t may be a game of
squat tag but it Is no race.
The more you run the more You are in
the race. And cheering thing about this
he race is that everybody wins The mo-
ment YOU reach the end of your particular
distance you've won. That's all there is TO it,
Every individual runs different distance
Infants only day or week old have run
and Won; some people run for eighty or
ninety years before they finally run down
Others wild and won't keep in the proper
lanes, so that The clerk of the course has to
Kick them off the track.
And each entry selects for himself the
prize he will race for. He doesn't ALWAYS
get it, but that, Of course, makes no difcr-
once. He is Just as happy as long as he is
racing for it.
DO You notice how smusngly Nh Hogarth
has depicted the great life stakes? 1t is a
cross-country, free for-alI, obstacle handicap
race. Everybody is in it. Have you ever
looked about you and sized up some Of your
fellow contestants and noticed how they wcrc
New-York tribune., 1922-05-07
Marty Discusses
Lloyd George
BY Robert b. Peck

II CAN'T quite make this fella Lloyd
i George" acknowledged Marty Nc
Il Mahon. the retired bartender, "but |
Every evening, Wilmington daily commercial., 1922-08-10

ployed. But he does not lose anything
ut all OF the accumulated bensnt Of
his previous years Of service with re-
spect to his pension privileges.
"Ths Pennsylvania System manage
ments position on the seniority Is
sue does not in any way impair OF
lessen tho pension privileges Of its
former employees who are now out of
the service, provided they seek REIN
statement and arc accepted.
Another error which has received
circulation lies In supposing that the
pensions Of railroad employees are paid
for in whole or part by contributions
from the men themselves.
This is not the case on the Penn
sylvania railroad, nor as far an the
management is aware on other Amer
lean railroad systems. Pensions are
paid entirely out OF the funds OF the
company as voluntary gift IN
recognition OF long and faithful SER
vice and to assist old employees who
have passed the period of active work
The company pays the pensions and
bears the entire cost OF operating the
Pension Department
THE pension system on the Penn
sylvania railroad was inauguratet
January /, 1900. Since that time Il
has paid out s26.so0,o00 in pensions
At the present time 6,S93 employee.
are being carried on the pension rolls
and the annual payments OF pension.
are now at rate exceeding $4,000. .oot
nor Nenr"
Every evening, Wilmington daily commercial., 1922-08-10
PR. R. PENSIONS NOT
AFFECTED BY STRIKE
Men Lose Seniority, Company
States. But Their Benefits
Are Not Impaired.

An impression having gone out that
Pennsylvania railroad shopmen who
struck forfeited their pension rights
~ well ~ seniority. the company is
sued a statement today denying that
snch " the case. The men have lost
their seniority. the statement says,
but their pension rights are not I'M
paired. 1t In further pointed out that
the entire expense attached to the
pension system liz bornc by the COM
pany. Following In the text OF the
company's statement:
In recent public discussions OF the
shopmen's strike the erroneous state
ment has been repeatedly made that
loss OF seniority by returning men
also involves forfeiture OF accumulated
pension privilege. This Is 80 serious a
mistake that the Pennsylvania Sys-
tenn ma naEement believes II OF the
utmost Importance TO have corrected
'On the Pennsylvania railroad and
on other systems generally. seniority
rights and pension privileges are en-
tirely separate and distinct matters
\ mans seniority Is determined by tn,
position his name occupies on a roster
kept for his particular craft at tn,
point or for the division where he &.
employed. lf he leaves the service anl
returns. his name goes TO the bottom
Of the roster AK of the date on which
he Is re-employed
The Importance OF sen!csity is tha
. x entities n man 10 the choice q
shifts day or night. and to priority II
bidding for better or otherwise hor,
desirable positions as such opportuni
ties open; also. that it gives hin
preference over Junior employees IL
holding his work when 1t is necessar.
TO lay men or. Seniority depend
upon continuity OF employment. Pen
sions, however, are based upon tn
total years Of service regardless q
whether they are continuous or not
Under the Pennsylvania railroad
plan every employe. regardless o
grade or rank, must retire at the ag
OF seventy years. II incapacitated h
may be retired ut sixty or over
he has been in the service thirt,
years. He receives as a pension pc
cent of his average monthly earning
during his last ten years OF work
multiplied by his total number Q
years OF service. lie may enter or lesv
the service one or a half dozen time
during his career and the method c
computing the pension will be IN
samc In ANY case =,
Therefore. II shopman now o
strike on the Pennsylvania railroa
s~slls reinstatement and is accepte
he loses seniority; that is. his nam
goes nj the bottom OF tho -euiorft
roster AT the point where he is EN-
Every evening, Wilmington daily commercial., 1922-08-10
Completed Leps Engagement. {.

John 4. Thoms. Jr., organist nt
Westminster Presbyterian Church,
completed his three weeks engage
ment at Willow Grove Park on Sat-
urday. While there he was accom-
panist with the L.eps Symphony or
chestra.
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1922-07-19
- 6nltar4nln 6ttttH

white Or yellow onions and ny Z
delicate brown in butter or olive
oil. Butter q dish, spread the
onions over it. break over them the
required number Of eggs, season
with salt and pepper and bake in q
hot oven. When done, sprinkle
with fried bread crumbs and serve.
Hungarion Goulaah - Cut about
two pounds Of flank steak into
small squares and an onion into
pieces, and cook both in q pan with
. little butter . few moments, but
not long enough to take much col
or. Place q layer Of the meat in a
flAt bottomed kettle OF good size.
Over this put layer Of the onions,
and so on until all the meat Ia
used, and as many onions IS desir-
ed. Add enough cold water to COW
er the upper layer of meat. Put
over the FIRE and bring to a boil.
Allow two cupfuls Of canned OF
sliced tomatoes to each quart OF
the meat and onion mixture, and
when they have reached the boiling
point Ton no account before). pour
the tomatoes over the mixture, but
do not stir. Now push the kettle
back ON the stove where it will
simply bubble on the side, not boil,
Simmer two hours. Have ready
peeled some small potatoes Of uni
form size and put into the kettle
pushing the meat and onions gently
to one side to make room for them
The contents of the kettle must moi
be stirred more than absolutely
necessary. AS soon as the potatoes
|are done, which will be in about q
minutes, serve.
Lemon Cheese Cake-Two cups
sugar. half cup butter. three-quar.
tiers cup sweet milk, whites Of si1
eggs, three cups flour, three tea.
spoons baking powder.
Sauce for Lemon Cheese Cake
Grated rind and juice of two lem.
Ions, yolks Of three eggs. half cur
butter, one cup sugar; mix all to
gether. and set on stove and cool
. until thick as sponge, stirring all
the time; then use like Jelly be.
tween the cakes.
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1922-07-19
OFFER REWARD FOR
COSTLY PAINTINGS
TAKEN FROM TRAIN

I Berlin. - A theft Of valuable
! paintings which occurred four
years ago has been announced hv
the Frankfurt police issuing Z proc
lamAtion to the effect that - COL
lection Of pictures were stolen. from
b railway carriage Of the second
guards division enruute from Brus-
! sels 70 Germany, Nov. :, 1873. n
cluded were = portrait OF the Span-
ish lnfante By valesQuex. two
works Of Rnhens. . VanDyck and
other old mastefs A reward a
I 80. 80 maria b olEsFDd for tAelr
| recuvery.
No sxDla1ation issgivsa = % w
ftAe pfce1geB vere % tie Wv frun
9r1s.g - 0e11nnay - - w.
Icbav bo1unesd
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1922-07-19
MENU HINT.
Breakfast.

MENU HINT.
Breakfast
Iced Orange Juice.
Prepared Wheat, Sugar. Cream.
Breakfast Bacon. Buttered Toast
Sliced Fresh Tomatoes.
Coffee.
Lunch.
Boiled Cottage Ham.
String Beans. Boiled Potatoes.
Combination Salad. Corn Sticks.
Butter. Milk.
Pineapple Pie.
Dinner.
Tomato Soup.
Fried Fish. Sliced Lemons.
Baked New Potatoes.
Hot Rolls. Cold Shaw.
Cheese. Crackers.
Iced Tea. Berries.
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1922-07-19
Socfety ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS.

The Lady Elks will meet tomor-
row at the Elks' club rooms.
The quarterly business meeting
of the B. Y. p. U. will be held at
o'clock tomorrow night at the an
mex of the First Baptist church.
The Helen Could auxiliary will
meet tomorrow night at the court