Omaha daily bee., 1922-05-07
Broadcasting
Congress
From the FItchburs Sentinel.

From the f1tchburg Sentinel.
Representative Brennan, Detroit,
has aimless wireless ideas. Wants
to set breach-loading radio broad
caster In house and senate so any
body with tuning fork can horn
into nation saving conversation. Az
il the unemployment situation
wasn't bad enough as It Is.
Fl. f. Il. p.
(1234 Meters)
Sunrise. a. m.-Brennan's scheme
eliminates electric chair and hang
ing. Condemned get national cap
ital punishment by being chained to
Washington wireless receiver and
talked to death.
j. A. Y. Y.
(B Flat
High noon. Congressman chant
Honolulu legislation to ukulele ac-
compartment. Harmless wireless
quarter bleats of four power
treaty. Senators use the squeal in
pork by interpolating senseless
saxophone solos In rivers and har-
bors appropriation. Good tenors run
for office on Photographic records.
Irving Berlin becomes national die.
tstor through ability to write legis-
stion to fox trot time.
h. U. N. X.
"a karat.)
Lunch time. Wrong voting con-
81 essmen lope home to mend the
wireless fences. Claim radio crossed
them with Bryan running for office
In Florida. SquaWk alibis that they
had astatic asthma and couldn't
vote In the right key. Twitter that
flock Of birds jammed home con-
sumption waves. Deny report that
traitor hung wireless dictograph
under back stairway, where left
handed bribes were strung up on
arnplifiers.
d: I'm.
(1O4 deg. Fahr.)
2 tof4 p. m. Ether waves rlcochet
Off Washington monument and
knock four bricks into Gulf Of Mex
leo. Starting whistles in Seattle fac
tories draw no action, as sturdy
workers have their heads strapped
Into debate over interest due from
Austrian flour debt. New York
votes to secede from the union.
unanimously deciding that DR.. John
Roach Straton has a better act.
Farmer near Kalamazoo writes his
congressman that neighbor's tame
crow persists in breaking in on the
line. Anti-suffragists organize to as
sert that women congressman jam
the radio vibrations. Society dame
in Pittsburgh runs on platform Of
having all wireless waves marcelled
by presidential proclamation. Co
to-church by wireless campaign ut
terly ruined as radio listeners de-
mand one days rest In seven.
T.. A. r.
(2.75 per cent?
Supper time. Corner grocer in
stalls magnavox and says 1t draws
more useless wireless trade than
old-time free cracker barrel. Beer
and light wine advocates draft edu-
cational bill to establish poor mems
clubs equipped with amplifier horns
and biggest-in -city schooners. Anti
Saloon league favors amplifiers, but
against schooners. congressman
talk so much about 1t that Cincin-
natl, st. Louis and Milwaukee aerial
proprietors start back-to- Munich
#. I. Il. NJ.
* reels)
Midnight. Hollywood flicker film
fiapper sending Marconi kiss to kind
old mother in Philadelphia gets
grounds for breach of promise suit
when misguided ether waves intro
duce her to bewhiskered congress-
man from BlaavilIe. She says kiss
was longest on record, 5000 miles.
He says kiss on the ear isn't worth
much.
F.. I. N. I. S.
30 Seconds)
Adjournment. Radio vibrations
leap off capitol dome like prickly
heat, crash into league of nations,
duck into wrong wave length. and
knock Kansas cyclone into an Eski-
mo display of aurora borealis. Wire
less amateurs start agitation to
make nation safe for crystal de-
tector sets. Elect new congress on
three wave plank. Then float
plank to three-mile limit and sink
1t without trace.