Evening star., 1922-08-13

r,uu was the monarch Of all he surveyed
Toush ~ they make 'em-chief Unaifaio'
King Of the Umps. and crowned - such'
Twice BY the Irish ard once BY the Dutch
Ballads Of Brick McGovern.

:: : E: 4; 4;
false move and l crown
you!'
Feet kicking up the dust hs's
closed, and jaws working overtime
Umpire Bull Feehey and Third Base
man Peewee Patterson were breastlns
each other pigeon-fashion, and BACK
ing around in a wary circle.
They each let go right at the
same moment, and Peewee, who had
once seen service in the ring. beat his
opponent to the punch. following II
up with a left that reached the same
target.
Bull staggered back. recovered
himself and returned to the attack
head down. In the interest Oh peace
and dignity. Manager Brick McGov-
ern and some of the more responsible
players interfered.
Usually pugilis,;e encounters on
the ball field have little significance
and are forgotten in a day or Two
But this fracas was different.
x u X
rROM the viewpoint of the bal
i ulavers there is no such thing az
a good umpire. They are all oao, anu
some are a little worse than others'
clubhouse opinion was unanimous III
asserting that Bull Feeney was 'he
most terrible crime ever perpetra1eo
in organized base ball. Not that Bull
didn't know his business: that was
tho awful part OF it. Bull had peeh
in. the majors. and had even ~ol lkeo
three times in a worlds series. ne
was rane. cool headed, quick on MS
feet, and had voice like foshorn.
Rut. of all the self-satisfied. trucu'
lent. sarcastic. lfvelight-lovins aho
,nurder-inspiring umpires that ever
beloved through a muzzle. bull rec
,ev vas the thrice-crowned KING
Proudly he admitted the charge. ana
dared the world to make him other
,.ise Therein lay the perpetual
casuS belli.
The crowd rode him. Of course, ou'
this was a mistake; il only encour'
aged the man. Bull got as much JOY
ont of irritating the audience oehlno
tho wire netting as a small boy does
in pokfns sticks through the bars OF
the circus cages.
OH. Bull was really an awful thlng
and he pursued the even tenor OF MS
wav. until Pewee Patterson, in shee'
defense. convoked board Of strategy
in the clubhouse one afternoon.
NOW, get me, right" said Patter'
lookint for trouble. but when any DIE
bir,,bo sticks his nose between my
teeth hes going to lose it: that's al.
This declaration Of principles was
approved by the strategists-
"But We got to use the old head or
this guy" warned Rube Ferguson
o..,neider. 1--WE got to work on him
;fty dollars~a punch is too much
iauah.. Ny idea Is to get something
y .hinr-"
"Ye-ah,, I'll get my spikes on him
.,n,e day" promised Lefty Carroll
'thats what I'll get on him.
.Peewee protested. Lets get down
to- business: Now. here's something
they tried on a guy down south once
and I'll tell the world it was rich.
PaJtsrsori's voice trailed Off into
the. .dsamatica atenseness Of born con-
spfrate The. aths hs1esAl Alsse nsd eagerly
TIE plot .unfe5a e RH2 pfesshtly al
nould appreciate that the midget third
sacker had indeed unearthed slen'
der, sword calculated to penetrate
even the thick hide Of Bull Feeney
and leave him writhing miserablE at
their. feet. -.
:. :. -: 3. x. y
WEEK later the King of-Cmpi
"A seated himself one evening in the
lobby of his hotel to indite two let
ters. The first was in the nature OF
a report TO the president Of the
league. and presented no dificultS
1t read:
Dear Nj. Powell:
L put Manager McGovern out Of
the game Yesterday for abusive Ian
guage. He is dog.
Yours truly.
JAMES P. FEENEY."
The second letter represented tht
first step into an unfamiliar world
He frowned thoughtfully at the hote
letterheads. chewed the tip of the
penholder laid it down. looked about
him and surreptitiously produced
from an inside pocket a small pink
envelope that had come in the morn
ing mail. For the twentieth time he
read the contents. and for the TWEEN.
tieth time q wave of turkey red be-
gan at his giils and spread to the
back Of his neck. His heavy feature.
struggled unsuccessfully against &
sheepish grin. And small wonder
The age of miracles was here again
Bull Feeuey had received a masl
note, Cepid was burning incense a
the shrine of an ump. Let unbe
levers read:
'Dcar Mr.. FecneI':
Il have often wanted to write L
you. but this is the first time I hav,
been able to get up the courage. art
! hope you will not take offense o.
think | am too bold.
II go to all the games. and I thinl
you are the very best umpire in tn,
league. It must be wonderful to b.
so big and strong and fearless. ant
would just love to know you. but
suppose you would not pay any at
tention to 4 mere girl-though m
friends say ! am not bad looking
Anyway. I can't resist confessinI
my admiration for a man who cal
face the crowd like you can, and
just hope you are not married!
There. now. I've said 1t, and I d
hope you won't be angry. but will in
stead fnd time perhaps to write t
p. o. Box 34l and make me Wild