davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1922-08-14
SAP and SALT
BY Bert Moses

Copyright isa2. by Premier syndio.t. Ine1
The height Of style for a lap dog is to have
sore eyes.
One way to be happy is to set a limit to
your wants and keep them there
Any knowledge that does not increase a
mans usefulness is apt to increase his vices.
You can tell whether a pleasure is good or
bad by the taste II leaves in your mouth.
When anything comes easy. there is some
thing the matter with 1t, for good things
come hard.
Let us say a good word for the fellow who
In willing/to pay what he owes, but has
money to do II with.
Hez Heck says: when chewin gum takes
q holt o the sole o. your shoe, Il sets q fine
example o. the power o. boldin' on"
The Washington times., 1922-08-14
We TOWNE GOSSIP
Copyright. 1879. By Star Oor
BY X. G. B.

Dear X. C. B.-My husband is an invsterate
smoker. and, still, he 10 constantly warning our
boy. who Is fourteen, against the evils OF
smoking. tell him that the only way he
can impress these warnings upon the boy 10
to give UP smoking himself He laughs at
me and It makes me mad. Shall leave him
or kill him and be acquitted by the Jury. or
shall forget about It and attend to my house
work and let the chips fall where they may.
II you get what meanH NICo TEN
The Washington times., 1922-08-14
DETOODLES
BY BUGS BAER
oopyrirht isss, By star Company.

OWING to heavy traffic among
" relatives, motor cars are 50
heavy that roads can't stand
wear and tear.
CTATE detoodle department
~ sends out selected pick and
shovel scholars to rip up con.
crete paths and make them safe
for summons. They chop road
up into hamburger business and
wire Sam Lloyd for next years
puzzle quotations. It's like re-
pairing dogs with sausage ma
chimes.
REsULT is another detoodle.
~ Proverb that longest way
round Is shortest way home
doesn't check up correctly on
gasoline tank.
,nETooDLEs connect two bad
~ parts of same road while
good section Of road is out to
lunch.
III Il CudbAC AOh
scenery to see our palatial
swamps, enjoy surf bathing in
our national chain system of
puddles and obtain option on
grade-crossing in anticipation of
building permanently in one of
our most important cemeteries.
FROM Mortgage Falls, popu-
= lation two thousand, three
banks and cafeteria lunch, to
Napkin Neck, population five
thousand, six garages and de-
sirable bungalow sites. is three
miles.
THREE miles by state road.
= But when you figure in de-
toodles and suburban directions,
old age is swapping at your
cradle by time you get there.
T EAVING Don't Point, L. l.,
~ for Snobb's Nest. Perma-
nent repairing going on at Ache.
Passengers transfer to concrete
mixing machine. Check bag
gage with day clerk IN nearest
collision. Tickets will be vail.
dated by station agent in traffic
jam. Exchange for parlor seats
on steam roller. Through won-
derful scenic junk valleys, with
three-day stop-over privilege in
borough jailhouse.
CwITCHBACK excursion over
~ finest piles of cobblestones
reiAforced with blasting Special
rates for basket parIies. Nice
people on left. Keep to your
right. Dangerous shore dinner
ahead. Anything they pick up
on shore Is shore dinner. Slow
down for thermos bottles.
DRIVE slow. Schoolhouse
~ ahead. No horns. SAM.
tarium on right.
GONE to dead stop. Poor.
~ house over hill.
TURN in. 49,
The Washington times., 1922-08-14
DO YOU KNOW

Jesse James Joined Quan.
trell's guerrillas during the civil
war. but returned to his home,
desperately wounded, when
peace was declared. In 1855,
when he was nineteen years old.
he was outlawed. and from that
time until his death, In 1882,
was constantly pursued by off.
GERS OF the law.
The Washington times., 1922-08-14
"AII Rightly
IT Soon Pals
wF YOU are in a great hurry and
want a man on the telephone,

M
want man on the telephone,
n the first telephone young lady
answers promptly, briefly, in busi-
nesslike fashion. ., ... .u.
Then you get the central operator
at the other big office. And an
other businesslike person says, "In
give you his secretary" '-
You wait patiently, then comes
the secretary, and you say, 81 want
Mr.. Jones'" That is your third
effort at Mr.. Jones, and there comes
back in a CHEEKY, happy, gay, youth
full voice, Gan rightly When you
hear this at first, say the first two
or three thousand times, it is very
pleasant. You imagine a young
lady, nicely fixed up, silky, bobbed,
cheerful, gay, not overworked, and
you say to yourself, "What a nice,
cheerful answer, how much better
than the dull, usual businesslike
way"
But AFTER two or three thou
sand times, "All rightly" gets on
your nerves. You begin to feel like
the man who wrote home from
Europe, cat last I have heard the
nightingale; if only I were a poet
I could write that ode to a night
ingale myself" The next week
you get a letter saying briefly,
"The nightingales are wonderful"
and a week later you get this: 81
am all right, except that the d
nightingales keep me awake all
night"
Nobody would speak harshly to
the dear young creatures whose
nature expresses itself in "An
rightly" but plenty of them are
ambitious in business way, they
want to Ego up higher" as the cor
respondence schools have it, and
for them this is written.
In the language Of our day, "cut
out all rightly" If you are sure
from the voice that the person call
ing up belongs to Mr.. Tad's we'll
known class of "Finale Hoppers,
then choose your own language in
answering the call and include "All
rightly" if you want to.
But when you deal with men that
are tired, that have already cursed
the system that makes them talk to
three young persons before they get
the man they want, make every
thing as businesslike as you can.
Even a stern, eyes, I will get him
for you," is better than can
rightly" with all the pretty, girlish
gayety and impulsive, effusive, CUR
Cling possibilities that stand back
of it.
It's a cold business world. In
cold business hours, be ALL COLD
BUSINESS, and you will 60 ahead,
probably. At least, you save the
nerves Of old gentlemen from strain
and wear.
The Washington times., 1922-08-14

from ltS own cnBihc.
TyIIE scientific discovery that
augurs q new era in bal
looming was made toward the
close Of the war. 1t consisted
in the discovery that certain
natural gases in this country
contain a considerable pro-
portion Of the non-inflamma-
BILE gas helium. which can be
isolated at a cost within rea-
son, 30 that sufficient supplies
Of It may be obtained TO I'm
large balloons.
Helium. the "sun-element,"
is 90 named because It was
discovered In the sun. with
the spectroscope. The dis.
covery was made by Sir Nor
man Lockyer. A good many
years later helium was found
in small quantities in the
eaAh's atmosphere by Sir
wfhiam Ramsay. But the total
quantity of It isolated until
very recently was only q few
cubic feet, and the expense of
producing It was prohibitive.
THE fact that certain gas
wells in this country con-
tain helium in relatively large
quantity gives our military
authorities an advantage Of
tremendous Hgnificance. It
can scarcely be doubted that
the helium balloon will play
a determining part in military
affairs Of the future.
The thing to be desired. of
course. is that the existence
Of a fleet of helium-inflated
airplane carriers with an in
definite radius Of operation
may be instrumental in pre-
serving peace. But should war
unhappily be declared. the
same agencies may exert q
preponderant influence in
bringing hostilities to q quick
termination.
The Washington times., 1922-08-14
nNCE upon = time-

0NCE upon = time
" A rich Turk beheld q girl
dancing. The. wonderful grace
Of her movements, the atmos.
phere Of vitality that seemed
to radiate from her and the
charm Of her appearance capti-
waited his heart. He watched
her. enraptured. Then he sent
his secretary to the girls owner
and bought her at an enormous
price.
That night the girl sat down
to dinner with him. To his
dismay he found that she was
not only quite plain. but that
her brain was vacuous and her
temperament rather dopey.
Wondering how he could have
blundered 50. he asked her to
dance. The moment she began
to move she seemed transformed
into smother creature and filled
him with delight.
Therefore. he kept her dancing
day and night--and soon she
died of overwork.
I'VE been wondering how
i long a list we could all make
up. Of our own experiences
along this same line. OF course,
I do not mean buying dancing
girls-that, like bootlegging, Is
against the law-but in the way
Of disappointments through lack
Of intelligent investigation. In
other words, leaping before look
Ing eighteen times.
DEoPLE buy stocks on daz.
L zling descriptions and 60
broke. They buy silks by elec.
trio light and find they look
different in daylight. They buy
houses that look beautiful and
find the plumbing IL useless.
The Washington times., 1922-08-14
A Nelu Era in BallOoni,g
BY Henry Smith Williams

THE proposed flight Of the
u army ''biimp" called ca
from Aberdeen. Maryland. clear
across the continent to Los
Angeles. calls attention to the
fact that lighter.than-air ma.
chimes are stiil regarded az an
important factor In military
preparedness. The fact 10 fur
ther emphasized by the re-
ported preparation Of a heiium-
filled balloon as a carrier of
airpianes.
When q balloon has been
developed that can be depend.
cd upon to make q trans-con-
tinental or trans-oceanic voy-
age. carrying q galaxy Of air
planes festooned beneath It like
grapes on q vine or perched
on top Of Il. Hike swallows on
q roof. another very significant
step win have been taken in
the new art OF flying that must
have a dominating influence
IN future warfare.
WHEN a flock Of bomb-car-
w rying airplanes can be
literally carried round the
world by an airship to be sent
out as scouts or on destruc-
tive missions. to come back at
will for re-fueling. aerial war.
fare win take on new signifi.
cance. a.
Under such conditions. no
city win be safe from attack.
and the remotest resident of
any country that Ia at war
will be in effect on the firing
line. There win be no non.
combatants.
Nothing quite like that was
feasible hitherto. because bal
looms have been inflated with
hydrogen, which is a highly
inflammable gas. Such q bal.
loon may be destroyed by any
airplane that can get near
enough to send an incendiary
bullet through 1t. Moreover,
1t Is always in danger Of being
The Washington times., 1922-08-14

matter, as worlds and suns.
One knows what gravitation Is,
but my theory 10 that Il 10 due
to electricity, and that the base
Of the entire universe and all
within Is electricity. f.,
The planets and suns there
fore attract directly as to mass
and inversely as to squares Of
distance, without regard to tenn.
peratures. It is best to abide by
the fixed and rigid mathematical
laws Of nature, one of which 10:
"All planets In the solar system
In their revolutions around tho
sun are actuated by q forcs di.
rected toward its center"
Please state the definition Of
the Astronomical scales" 1---
VANCE r. sToNBR.
THE scales used by master
- mathematicians to weigh
oosmicai bodies, a. planets and
binary sums. and our own sun,
10 the specific speed acquired BY
q falling body near the earths
surface that has been falling
during one absolute second Of
time. n 10 sas feet per second.
The Washington times., 1922-08-14

exploded by some chance spart
from its own engine.
The Washington times., 1922-08-14

One couple has solved the high rent
problem. They both work nights and sit
IN the park In the daytime.
The Washington times., 1922-08-14

Women are like cigars. There's many
q sweet filler inside a cheap wrapper.
The Washington times., 1922-08-14
NOIsING 1T ABROAD.

In paper!wailed flats the poor air their
troubles in such q manner that all the
neighbors can hear; but the rich and re-
fined do things better-they use the press
for their quarrels 30 the whole world
can hear.
The Washington times., 1922-08-14
RIPENED JUDGMENT.

RIPENED JUDGMENT.
A hold-up man was sent snced the other
day to forty years In Sing Sing. He'll
have plenty Of time to pan his next job
more carefully.
The Washington times., 1922-08-14
tunoh edaydud

Text suggested BY Che Rev F. W. Johnson pastor Grace Ba
The Mellette County pioneer. [volume] (Wood, Mellette County, S.D.) 19??-1971, 1922-07-07
NORTH ROSEBUD VALLEY

Mrs. Otto Fulsos and children visit
d at Ed CRAFTS, Wednesday, while
Mr.. Fulsos made a trip to Wood.
Harry Larsen and his assistant,
James Clinch, and Glen Sherwood
have been boarding at Ed CRAFTS
while breaking sod for Jerry Koskan.
Mrs. C. o. Wilson has been quite
sick, but we are glad to report her
Is improving. Kermit Satree has also
Jeen quite sick since our last report,
md was taken to Witten to consult
)r. DsHart.
Steven Brave and ]. j. Filipi were
aught on the road in the storm, Tues
lay of last week and stopped with
'ames Chnch and Glen Sherwood at
he shack by the side Of the road un-
il the storm abated.
Edwin Sherwood had the misfortune
"a fall from his horse while going
home from Glen Sherwood's, and re-
,eived a badly sprained wrist. 1t
was thought some bones were broken
md he was taken to Witten, where
Or. DeHart pronounced it a bad
;prain.
Levi Brunson and son Riley, and
Martin Johnson of Monowi, Neb., Wis
ted the first Of the week at the Lar
sen homes. They were neighbors OF
he Larsen's when they resided il
Nebraska, and enjoyed recalling ole
ines during their visit.
The Mellette County pioneer. [volume] (Wood, Mellette County, S.D.) 19??-1971, 1922-07-07
NOTICE OF REAL ESS TIE MORT.
GAGE FORECLOSURE SALE.

Name OF mortRagors Geo. w. Egan and
Nernice Fgan. husband and wife; name OF
mortgage Peters Trust Company. a corpora
ton; date OF mortgage December 5th. A. d.
1913; mortgage fled for record December l4th,
A. ID. 1918. at 4 O'Clock y. m, and recorded n
Bonk 10 Mortgages page $50, in office OF Regis
ter OF Deeds, Mellette county, South Dakota.
Amount claimed 70 be due on said mortgage
at date Of this notice $1,000. IS, principal and
interest and taxes paid by mortgn gee.
Default having been made In the payment
OF interest and t8xes contrary to the condi-
tions Of said mortgage, and the whole amount
% said mortgage debt, pri' cipal, interest and
ceeding at law or otherwise having been irsti-
tuted TO recover the debt secured by said NOR
tgage or any part thereof. NOTICE. Is
HEREBY GIVEN that by virtue Of the power
OF sale by Advertisement contained in said
mortgage and duly recorded as aforesaid. the
said mortgage will be foreclosed by q sale OF
the mortgaged premises therein described. at
public auction, at the south front door OF the
Court House In the town Of White River. Mel
lette county, :. d., on July 18th, A, ID. 1922, at
the hour OF O'Clock u. M, 10 pay said mort
gage debt and interest. taxes and cost Of these
proceedings, The mortgaged remise are
described as follows: The south west quarter
(SWh) Section thirteen O3) Township forty
(40) North OF Range twenty-Sx (26) West OF
the 9th 4. NJ. In Mellette county South Dakota
Dated this gath day OF May, A. -. 1922.
PETERS TRUST COMABN Y, q corporation
MORTGAGE
CHRIs BUM. Sheriff Meilette County, 8. d.
{. +. MANSON, Attorney for Mortaaaee: 1st6
The Mellette County pioneer. [volume] (Wood, Mellette County, S.D.) 19??-1971, 1922-07-07
ABSURDITY OF LIMITING
CAMPAIGN EXPENSES

In the light of the announcement
hat 100000 was spent to nominate
Iifford Pinchot for governor of Penn
ylvania, let us consider for a nom.
mt the case Of Senator Townsend, Of
Michigan, who is a candidate for re
domination mt the coming primary
elections. One OF his competitor
'efcrs TO current rumors that he has
already spent-or that there has been
spent in his bchalf--more than $4,000,
md calls attention to the fact that
The law of the state forbids the ex-
penditure of more than $3.50 by any
,andidate in the whole campaign.
Therefore he warns Townsend that he
s getting close to the legal limit, and
hat if a few hundred dollars more
IRE spent in his campaign he will
itand in peril of the outraged law.
let us waive for the moment all
bought about the case of Senator
Newberry and his large expenditures,
which is being cited against Senator
townsend, and also all question con
erning the desirability or undesir-
bility Of the latter's reelection, and
tote Just what the law would permit
II rather would not permit him to do.
Would there BE- any improperly
n a senatorial candidates sending tc
, voter a circular letter, informing
rim of his candidacy, and briefly
Eating his experience, his public SER
ices, and other data calculated to
i've the voter legitimate information
'oncerning his fitness for election !
On the contrary, it is obvious that it
would be most commendable to do so,
recause it is desirable for every vot-
n to be thus informed concerning the
'andidatcs among whom he is to make
us choice. 1t would be perfectly
roper, then, TO send such a circular
o any voter, and therefore to every
voter. But what would that mean?
The state Of Michigan has a popula-
ION Of about 3.670.000 At the cleo
lion Of 1920 its citizens cast something
more than a million ballots. Suppose
hat Mr., Townsend were to send to
each voter n very brief circular letter,
printed on a postal card. What would
4 cost him? The postal cards alone,
not counting the printing and address,
ing, would cost $4,000, or nearly
three times as much as the law per-
uits for his entire campaign expenses.
For Just sending an innocent postal
card, announcing his candidacy, to
each voter. he wow uhe a criminal,
The Mellette County pioneer. [volume] (Wood, Mellette County, S.D.) 19??-1971, 1922-07-07

A, BIBLE THOUGHTS
~ .-- For This Week --
Bible Thoughts memorized, WIN prove q
priceless heritage In after years. E

Friday. JESUS SAID
Blessed are the pure in heart;
for they shall see God.-Matt.
3: 8.
Saturday. THE FEAST OF
Better is a dry
morsel, and quietness Herewith,
than a house full of sacrifices
with strife.-Proverbs II: i.
Sunday. WARNING TO MED
Oilers He that passeth by,
and meddleth with strife be-
longing not to him, is like one
that taketh a dog by the ears.
Proverbs %: IL.
Monday. PICTURE OF
PEACE:-The wolf also shall
dwell with the lamb, and the
leopard shall lie down with the
kid; and the calf and the young
lion and the failing together:
and a little child shall lead
them.-Isaiah II: 9.
Tuesday. NO RESPECTER
OF PERSONS:-Of a truth l
perceive that God is no respect
or IF persons: but in every ma
zion he that feareth Him, and
rorketh righteousness, is ac-
ccr'c' with Him.-Acts 1924.
Wednesday. GODS THO'TS:
= know the thoughts that |
think toward you, saith the
r.crd. thoughts of peace, and
Mt # evil. And We shall seek
me, and find me, when We shall
search for me with all your
hcart.-Jeremiah 90: II, Is.
Thursday. GOD RULES
WITHIN II will put my
Spirit within you, and cause
You to walk in my statutes,
and We shall keep my judy
ments, and do them. And We
stall dwell in the land that I
"nve IN your fathers; and We
'a'l be my people, and / will
be your God.-Ezekiel SO :27,28.
The Mellette County pioneer. [volume] (Wood, Mellette County, S.D.) 19??-1971, 1922-07-07
Don't borrow trouble. You can get
all you want for nothing.

Don't borrow trouble. You can get
all you want for nothing.
Trouble seldom bothers the person
who is not loking for 1t.
When prices are too high to suit
YOU, climb up to their level.
Any fool can recognize a good thing
when the other fellow has it.
A sin is most Objectionable when
committed by the other fellow.
Telling people to go to hell is poor
policy. The world admires a leader.
The fellow who earns his pay in
variably gets paid for what he earns.
The best way to hook a husband is
to make him think you don't want
him.
Thor are two sides to every ques-
ton, and generally neither is under
stood.
Warm weather never worries the
coal man. He makes just as much on
his ice.
II love is blind there must be O
lot of married people enjoying excel
lent sight.
Some people find little difficulty in
keeping their promises. They don't
make 'em.
Don't worry over the m~onotony of
this life. You viii find plenty of ex-
element below.
Never borrow money from q friend.
You can utilize him to better advan-
tage in other ways.
The Lord expects you to help your
self in this world, but not to other
people, possessions.
Very few people walk in the valley
Of the shadow of death. They hotfoot
it until they get out.
II is wise to keep in touch with
the world, but still wiser to keep
beyond its "touch."
The secret is out as to why biting
dogs never attack some people. They
don't like tough meat.
There may be such a thing as luck,
but ii so il is the offspring of wisdom,
energy and perseverance.
Some people r always looking
for a scrap and never recognize it
when it is offered to them.
You have every reason to take Of
tense when told to keep your best
foot forward-unless you are a crab.
Trading our own glands for those
OF monkeys is just another evidence
Of the source from which we sprung.
The Mellette County pioneer. [volume] (Wood, Mellette County, S.D.) 19??-1971, 1922-07-07

subject to heavy fine and imprison-
1t is the way in which money is
spent, not the amount that is spent,
hat should be considered. A million
dollars spent in a campaign for the
honest and impartial political infor-
nation Of the people would be no
wrong, but a great good, while a
dollar spent to bride a single
would be Il detestable crime
Exchange.
The Mellette County pioneer. [volume] (Wood, Mellette County, S.D.) 19??-1971, 1922-07-07

Taken Upon my place, one black
mare, branded MS on right hip. Own
er may have same by paying for keep
and cost of this ad. Fred Matousek.,
Wood, S. ID. l9-tf
The Mellette County pioneer. [volume] (Wood, Mellette County, S.D.) 19??-1971, 1922-07-07
IDLE MEN AND IDLE LAND

Ia this country there are millions
Of acres Of idle land that has never
felt the bite of a pillow. This land is
capable of feeding many millions of
pople, although it is feeding none.
In every city of the country there
the large numbers of people who
would welcome a return to the farm if
such could be effected. Generally
they are men of families who have
been brought up on the farm, but
left in their younger days "to make
their fortunes in the city," and are
now marooned there as effectually as
if stranded on a desert island.
1t costs money to change from a
crowded city to virgin land and con
vert the soil into a productive farm.
And money they have not-at least
not sufficient for the transformation.
If the government could devise
some means of placing such families
on unused land and aid them to the
point where they could become self
sustaining and pay off their indebt-
edness it would work a wonderful
change in this country.
OF course it would in time reduce
the price of farm, products because of
the great increase in production.
This, however, would automatically
reduce living expenses, and that would
bring down the cost Of labor, and pro-
duction would become less expensive,
and wholesale and retail prices
would be lowered in proportion.
In other words, there would be a
general reduction in the price of ev-
erything throughout the country.
We lose a tremendous amount of
foreign trade for the simple reason
that our cost of production is so great
that we find it difficult to compete in
world markets with other countries
whose people are not living at so
rapid and expensive a pace. This
reduction in foreign trade, together
with the rapid and constant influx
Of immigrants from abroad, produces
s~tagnation in our labor markets and
creates our armies of the unemployed.
There should be a general reduction
Of all prices of every nature, begin
ming with the man at the top, who
| can best afford it, and ending with the
me at the bottom, who can least af-
ford it.
1t is useless to ask one element of
)ur population to suffer a reduction
n revenue while other elements con-
tinue to rake in their eXorbitant
profits. That is both unfair and fool
hardy, because it leads to unrest and
trouble.
There can never be any great reduc-
ion in table costs as long as q great
portion of the land remains until
ed and those who are at present
working the farms are compelled to
pay excessive prices for everything
they use.
A careful and honestly administ-
red system of governmental aid to
hose who desire to return to the farms
md become definite producers would
20 a long wav toward solving the most
difficult problem now facing the Am
erican people.