The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-04-25
T oday Those Poor Monkeys. Chance for Inventories ''DolIing Up" Is Not
 Waste.
 Oldest Jewish Family.
 By ARTHUR BRISBANE
By ARTHUR BRISBANE

The ship. Mt. Clinton, arrives from Hamburg. bringing birds and mon keys. One Title paroquet of the Love Bird" family died. Its mate almost immediately died of grief. That doesn't happen to monkeys or their alleged descendant-man The monkeys come for scientific experi- ment. their lives will be sacrificed to science. and. the tender hearted will wall about that-as they should.
 But what is the real difference between those monkeys and us hu- mans? Scientific experiments on the monkeys and their troubles are over in few days, or weeks. Fate and civilizations experiments on us last three score and ten years, and also end in death. If monkey could lead the average mans life for awhile he would say: Take me to the Rockefeller Institute and get done with it.s
 The marine borer which attacks wood under water does damage amounting to billions. In two years 1t has caused S20,O0o, OOO damage in San Francisco bay alone. If you can in vent a method for circumventing that borer. you will have wealth be- yond the dreams of Rothschild.
 Creosoting is not sufficient pro- lection. The thinest covering of copper would protect perfectly. Cop Der is cheap. What about applying thin copper plating to timbers well planed? Is that possible?
 The Anaconda Copper company, wisely pushing the manufacture of copper roofing. might answer the question.
 An efficiency expert says that giels employed by the government waste every year s6,ooO.ooO worth of Uncle Sams time making themselves pret- tier. during working hours. with curling irons, face powder, lip stick, etc.
 But what is the final result? What the statistician calls "dolling up" leads to marriage, for the American youth is a foolish creature, won by appearances. The marriages lead to the production of useful young cit izens, worth more to Uncle Sam than the S6,0O0.0o0 a year involved.
 The City of Frankfort will name a principal street for Jacob H. Schiff. born there. The Jewish telegraphic agency says the Schiffs. with longer recorded lineage than any other living Jewish family have lived in Frankfort since the fourteenth century.
 That takes them back near the time when the original Hohenzollern was thriving as money-lender in Fast Prussia. srdall, unimportaat noble nobody.
 Look at the Hohenzollerns now. crushed and down. and the Schiffs sdn going strong. with money in the bank. This ought to teach some German Junkers to revise their views of Jewish inferiority.
 Simplest facts about the universe are too big for our brains. A hop toad by the railroad track can com- prehend the express train as well as we comprehend the universe spread out before us. For instance, Sir oliver Lodge, whose book on, "The Uncomfortable Ether" you should read, continues his studies and makes this announcement.
 Ether fills all space. The Lord only knows how big that Is. If you went as fast as lightning, which goes ls6.ooO miles every second, you and your descendants. 5o,o0o years from now. might still be travelling in a straight line, space and ether would be all around you.
 For millions of years the ether has been storing up energy. Today A cubic millimeter of the ether, smaller than the little piece of lead at the end of your lead pencil, con- tains as much power 'as 100000 kilowatt power station would pro- duce working continuously for sew eral million years
 In other words, if you. could re- lease the power locked up in the ether that fills the corner of your eye, you could run all the machinery on earth for an indefinite period.