New-York tribune., 1922-02-19
HOW Il Little Human,
Sy M nv on the
Bench and Among the
Naturalization Off,
GERS Can Straighten
Out the Absurdities OF
Uncle Sans Adoption
Proceedings

Sometimes it has the effect of paralyzing
the reasoning powers Of the applicant As in
the case Of young Mexican at Trinidad, Col.
Well say his name Cashmere.
He knew very little English, and nearly
everything he said was wrong and good
deal of it funny, and the motley gathering in
the courtroom laughed at all Of Tied. Of
course, by the waiting attorneys, who, like
The islanders of Rumtifoo
Are weU conducted persons. 1cho
ApproUe a joke os much as uou
And laugh at 1t os such
The effect on Cashmere was cataclvsmic
The governments bright young man-to whom
we shall have to give his proper title of ex-
aminer-had been digging into him about his
attachment to the principles Of the Constitu-
ton and insisting on knowing whether he ad
vocated the forcible overthrow of organized
government and other things of that sort that
the law requires, until Cashmere had
lost his 1cays
In q murky maze
Of utter 0bst5rse abstraction
SO that when they got to the polvgamv part
which is sine qua non of every case, and the
examiner said to him: care you polygamist
or a believer in the practice Of polygamy."
Cashmere thought it was something he had TO
be Git had sound somewhat similar to the
"prnciples Of the Constitution, and swung
right in and said yes, sir he was, and shut his
mental eyes in anguish at the roar of laughte,
that followed and couldn't be shaken loose
DO you know said the examiner, that
polygany means having more than one wife at
the same time"
Casimero who knew nothing whatever BY
this time, but had decided that the examiner
was trying to catch him-which was very far
indeed from the fact--and that his only hope
lay III sticking fast to every assertion he made
and declining to be bulldozed said that he did
And still you say that you are polygamist?'
Cashmere said he was
Why, Casmcro" said the Judge kindly.
i've known you all your life You haven't
even one wife. You're not polygamst"
But they couldn't shake him. He wouldn't
say he was not polygamst and they couldn't
naturallzc him until he did They had to send
him out into one OF the jury rooms with the
court Interpreter and let them discuss polvg-
amy in all its branches for an hour in Span
lsh, and, finally, in the middle of the afternoon
he crept back into court and shamefacedly ad-
mitted that he wasn't polygamst after all
and they naturalized him and heaved sigh
Of relief and got along with the days business
It's devil of question. that one about
polygamy. Hardly any Of them ever under
stand it.
"Who?" said an Italian when it was put to
him in one of the beet raising counties of Col
orado. "Me: Me no plygamist Me Demo-
crat."
He thought it was political party.
And anarchy is nearly as incomprehensible
to some of them. The law demands specific in
formation on that.
"Anarchy," explained an old Finn out in the
Northwest who had ust expressed disbelief
int it and been fu .ner asked by the examiner
if he knew what it was, "anarchy is having
more than wife at the same time
"And it is, too" said the judge. That's
very fair definition of it."
And so, as Kiplng says in that penetrating
analysis he made once of "The American"
mine ancient hunor saves him still"
Yes, and something else, too, that is also
Amerlcan-sympathy. Congress starts out a
law from the big house on the hill there in
Washington to stalk abroad like Franken-
stein, trampling down fesh-and-b blood people
as it goes, but the judges of the 2,3O6 courts
IN its path turn out to be-in the main-fesh-
and-blood people themselves, with a tendency
to stay its uprased arms and trip its steel
shod feet. And even the $50 bright Young
men employed to take Of it, to bind up
its insensate limbs with red tape when thew
falter and keep it stalking, even these, trained
IN the devltallzed air of our musty civil serv-
ice, are really made of the same stuff. too. and
secretly pleased now and then when the mon
ster is made to swerve
"She has first paper under the new law"
one of them said regretfully, land so she's
got to sign her name in her own handwriting.
She has tried to do it'-he passed the big
book of petitions for naturalization UP to
the judge-"and she cannot be naturalize6
unless your honor calls that signature.
"She is seventy years DID," he went on
irrelevantly, "and has a homestead A dry
land hu~ esteau. And last year she didn't
make CROP (Which wasn't, # course. any
of his busness). "She can't prove up on
her land unless she's naturalized and she's
got literally nothing else"
The judge adjusted his glasses and looked
at the marks the woman had made.
"They bear no resemblance to letters" he
said honestly, "but 1 am not willing to add
to the hardships of this woman's life. She
NAV take the oath Of allecarcav