davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1922-06-24
CUCKOOS. IN
THE WOODS
BY BUGS" BAER
oopynsh.. 1929. " slar oemplns.

THREE weeks ago Boston boy
Il detoured into Maine woods
dressed up to his neck In moth
ing. His wife chaperoned' him
on his, squirrel pilgrimage.
Nov. both OF 'em are step
NAN ping around In exclusive
swamps -saiI polished up in
grass hats, oak leaf cloaks, and
carrot shoes. Which Is carrying
,yegetarianism too Ear.
THEY wanted to prove that
= folks could live like Adam
/, and Eve. They've been success
ful. Went into woods penniless.
In iessthan month they've saved
over sixty acorns.
noNIT. have to sentence your.
self to Maine jungies to tod.
Z die around thread and buttonless.
Do that right on Fifth avenue.
q NEWLY certificated folks grab
this funnymoon business
from Omar Khayyam. Book of
yerses.underneath bough. jug of
wine. Loaf of bread. And thou
singing beside me In wilderness.
Oh. wilderness were paradise
enow. /.
TRY II. No. amendment agains.
:, reading verses underneath or
on boughs. 5i6y
RUr that jug Of wins, resoiu.
ticn is tabled unIess you
want 10 be treed by pack cf hun
Cry revenue agents. Year (. in
, cooler, five hundred fine. Or
both. :
TRY fishing with your wife
! = singing In wilderness. Her
,concrete-mixing voice would scare
every kind of fish away except
canned sardines. -
: TuS'c about to hook two.ton
- trout when Your leafspan:
tgled wife breaks into one OF,
Wagner,s itillabies that would
wake up Rip Van Wrinkle ! in
twenty seconds instead OF years.
FISHING and wining are both
=. out. That leaves loaf of
bread red ants adopt that.
THAT leaves nothing but you
and your wife.
IFe she has any interurban
sense, she leaves you.
THAT leaves you.
Y A Nd II you have any cosno
- politan intellect, you'll can.
eel Adam expeditiop and trade
your oak leaf kimono for full
fashioned overalls. AZ
No wound bleeds longer :hsn
cutting Jest or siander.
Wholesale suspender firms get
together. Another bold-up gsme?'
II used to be that wennen could
vote only In certain States. bur
now q woman, can vote no matter
what state she n In. t
The Washington times., 1922-06-24
TOBe Gtyof
!. Conventions
By BILL PRICE,

n EGINNING next year, Wash
K ington is to rank as the ma
- tion's greatest convention
city. Evidences of this are unmis-
taxable. And the prospective re-
suits are to be credited to- as
surances. that the big new Audi
torium will be completed and ready
to book conventions and all sorts
Of gatherings early in the year,
The Northern Baptists have de-
cided to hold their next annual
convention in Washington. They
made this selection after being in
formed that this city will then
have modern Auditorium, capa-
BILE of handling the thousands Of
delegates who attend.
The Imperial Shrine decided
upon Washington next year for the
same reason, and that will mean
100000 Shriners and members Of
their families.
The American Medical Associa-
tion fixed upon Washington for
next year, but before doing SO tele-
graphed to ascertain if the Audi
torium would be reality.
This is an anspicious beginning
for the Auditorium project and for
Washington. Its meaning is i'm
mensely greater than would appear
on the surface. These national
gatherings are decided upon at
least a year in advance, often two
years In advance. The Auditorium
Committee, Of which Col. r. N.
HARPER is the able chairman, has
been unable to make bookings .un-
til the financing Of the big enter
prise was practical certainty. In
spite of the indifference shown by
some Washingtonians Of means to
this ambitious and important prof
ect, the subscriptions to stocks
and bonds are fast reaching the
closing point. The list will be a
real honor roll Of local civic
leaders.
There can be no possible thought
that the project will fail. In
fact, failure is out Of the ques-
tion now after assurances to the or
CARNATIONS named that the Audi
torium will be at their disposal.
Washington business men will see
that cheap jealousies and narrow
mindedness will not interfere with
the unbounded success of the most
important undertaking this city has
entered upon for years.
Had construction of the Audi
torium been definitely settled early
in the year there would have been
thirty or forty national conventions
i booked for annual sessions hero in
1923. The prospects are now fine
for swelling The list of bookings for
1928, and developments indicate
that in 1924 Washington will take
rank as the foremost convention
city of America, bringing here
thousands of leaders in the indus
trial, business, professional, scien-
tific circles of America.
The Washington times., 1922-06-24
aAFRIoAN TREE LIVES 100 YEARS;
: Is TWO FEET TALL. 8

The queerest tree on serth 10 one. that
grows in Damara Land. Africa, says the
Mentor Magazine. II is the Weiwitschfa
mirabilis. SO named after its discoverer.f Dr.
Frederick weiwitsche. German ,botanist,
who discovered u IN the middle Of the nine
teenth century, ,rs = 5 W.
The quesrest tree lives eps hundred years
II has but two leaves during its lifetime
The trunk ,is two fest long and fouftsenYfeet
In circumference. Tho two leaves are six
feet long and two 20 three vide. ,
The Washington times., 1922-06-24
Stars and Stripes

Mr.. Edison asks: "who is the present
Secretary of the NavyH" He isn't present
He is In Japan.
In owosso, Mich. they believe IN hav.
ing everything handy. They use the
cemetery ss a spced.testing place for
automobiles.
The scarcity OF gentlemen u due 10 the
fact that many women seem TO prefer
boobs and ioafers.
The Washington times., 1922-06-24

Our One Virtue.
The Old World enjoys our crudeness.
Our primitiveness 10 q Joy.
Our cultures the bunk
Our manners ara punk:
But our doiiarsl Our doliarsl Oh, bcyi :
They raise two things In Hfayti. One is
hemp and the other one begins with
a." too.
Hez Heck says: "A wife who calls her
husband an IDIOT gits mad when any one
else does"
The Washington times., 1922-06-24
/" Ne Are
Such Stuff
.SYCHIATRIsTS

wise ones will study carefully
= what the Kaiser writes about
himself and other men. The
Kaiser's father believed his SON to
be unbalanced and regretted the
fact that he must rule over Ger
many,
The create Professor Friedlander
discussed cautiously, as he had to
do before the war, the question,
Whether or not William III lis mem
tally abnormal. ["
That he was abnormal, Tesdorpf
and Forel, able scientists, have al.
legged.
In Germany book is published
anonymously, entitled "Germany's
Tragedy"
The book discusses seriously the
question as to the Kaiser's mental
balance. The author believes the
ex-Kaisef's insanity is proved by
his conviction that he received
personal revelations from God. = 4
The ordinary American will read
with much interest brief extract
from speech. that the once Ger
man Emperor made to his soldiers
when he sent them to China to
punish those responsible for the
Boxer uprising, in which the Ger
man Ambassador lost his life.
What do you think Of the Kaiser's
wordsf
No mercy shall be shownl No
prisoners shall be j. taken! Let
every one who fails into your.
hands be a dead mani A thou
sand years ago the Huns under
their King Attila won reputa-
tion that is still handed down in
legend and story; let the name Of
Germany be remembered in China
thousand years hence in like
manner, so that hereafter a
Chinaman will never venture
even to look with enmity at q
German. :
Does it seem sane for a modern
ruler talking in the twentieth CEN
tury to urge his soldiers to repeat
the atrocities Of Attilai
Mr.. Taft, head Of the United
States Supreme Court, is much
liked in England as he is here. He
says truly that friendship between
America and Great Britain is "most
necessary for the peace Of the
world" and he says that we in
America "are acquiring conscious
ness of partnership" The question
interesting to a young and growing
country of one hundred and ten
millions is WHAT KIND OF
PARTNERSHIP. r...a
Is it an equal partnership-50-50i
Or is there senior partnership,
and If so, who is hef
DR.. Butler, of Columbia Univer-
sity, denounces Senator La Toilette,
as 'destructionist and revolution
list, I" because La Toilette criticises
the Supreme Court-including its
decision that laws to prevent child
labor are unconstitutional. In Rus
sia, under the Cars, La Toilette
would have been as described. NOT
HERE.
Every citizen, under the Consti-
tuition, has the right to criticise and
say what he thinks of the Supreme
Court or any other part of Gov
ernment. He must submit to the
courts DECISIONS, but he MAY
criticise them. When that becomes
illegal this will no longer be even
a make-believe republic.
The Supreme Court is the crea-
tion Of the people, and they could
cut off its powers, or end it, If
they chose, by changing their Con-
stifution. There is no grand Llama
or infallible potentate in this coun-
try as yet, although individuals in
office have mistaken themselves for
such.
Erench Guiana Is the penal settlement
The Washington times., 1922-06-24

! notice. all beauty--in q word.
all worth, which flowing from
the world OF spirit, gives last,
ing meaning to our human LIE.
IL this riches ana all th,s
n strength are yours--to nse
Thus endowed and armored,
you are fnvincible. Man can DO
nothing to harm you; nor can
chance or circumstance.
Hitherto you may have mag
ined yourself beset by enemies
poverty. sickness. weakness.
sympathy. lack Of opportunity.
But now you know that you
are rich and wei and strong and
kind. and the creator Of op-
\ portunity.
And 20 you grow from sue
cess to success. You radtate
health and power and love. You
and God are Makers Of Good.
You allow God to work with
you. You permit Him to shine
through you. You are giving
God q chance! y 4 ~
This IL neither new thought
nor old thought. but tever.ast-
ing truth.
TN these days. when we DO
i not talk 30 readily ana
knowingly in theological terms.
II Is perhaps easier TO find a
common denominator for this
Eternal idea in our democratic
language. n
So let US say that our appeal
herewith IL really for the SELF.
knowledge, self-respect and scif-
confidence at the heart OF our
democratic creed.
And 30 we offer. as equivalent
to the ancient Hebraic doctrine,
the eternal thought thus dress
ed in modern speech. know
yourself. respect yourself. be-
lieve in yourself, and you win
be amazed to find what an in
exhaustible reservoir of power
you are.
Give yourself fighting
chance.
Scopyrirht. 1saa. by King Features
Syndicate. Incl
The Washington times., 1922-06-24
UNTROUBI,FD.
BY X. c. b.

"what would you do IL you heard that your
husband was taking his stenographer out to
iunch7" '-i, gt
l3'T wouldn't believe Il. MY husbands
stenographer is a man with a cork leg" Z
. '..-..|tt. - ftssr \
ourt-martlai fines are used toward the
support Of nationel soldiers homes
The Washington times., 1922-06-24

TT Is a fine. unseifish motive
i in thorough harmony with
the spirit Of actors.
As q profession they have GER
tain characteristics that set
them apart from the others.
While they have clearly
marked Individuality actors
have q class spirit. q closeness
Of Solidarity. a genuine fine. .liv-
ing brotherhood unknown II the
other professions.
Their purse opens automatic.
ally at the first knowledge OF
The Washington times., 1922-06-24

THE actors are to have
theater Of their own.
Forty members OF the Actors
Equity Association have guar.
anteed a fund of nearly $685.
900 AZ the working capital OF the
Equity Players. Inc.," which
has just leased the Forty-eighth
Street Theater for one yer.
No opposition to the regular
theatrical managers 10 intended.
The new venture will serve to
try out certain plays Of the bet.
ter sort that would not have the
quality that managers find Is
most conducive TO safe invest.
ment.
The profits, after reimbursing
the guarantors. are to be spent
In paying the cooperating actors
one-third. In bringing back
stranded actors. and for assist
ing in securing legislation for
the betterment of the theater.
and lastly for the continuance Of
the organisation.
The Washington times., 1922-06-24

Wholesale suspender firms get
together. Another -bold-up gsme?
The Washington times., 1922-06-24

II used to be that wemen could
vote only In certain States. bur
now q woman can vote no matter
what state she - IN.
The Washington times., 1922-06-24

No wound bieeds longer :han /,
cutting Jest or siander.
The Washington times., 1922-06-24
Paradise EnOu
BY Owen Owen-

) ings. while someone thrums and
someone ainrr.
The Washington times., 1922-06-24

: A Nd II you have any cosmo /,
politan intellect, youM can.
eel Adam expedition and trade
your oak leaf kimono for full
fashioned overalls.
The Indianapolis times., 1922-08-26
FORMS SOCIE ETY
TO STOP SCANDAL
EngIishman Hopes to Pledge
Millions to Renounce Say
ing Unkind Things.

LONDON - Turn the key on
scandal"
That is the motto of the latest So
ciety in England.
You hold n paddock in the hand,
with due solemnity turn the key, and
pronounce these words:
II promise to do my utmost never
10 say an unkind thing about anyone,
whether true or untrue
And having said, henceforth you are
admitted a member Of the Paddock
Society"
DR. Armstrong Smith of Letchworth,
England, is the founder of the move
ment and his ambition will not rest
until millions of people in every coun.
try in the world have enlisted under
the banner.
''In the course Of a few weeks ten
countries have joined US" says DR..
Armstrong Smith, "and in another
month we hope to have mtlior
rembers. Our adherents are scat
tered over Britain. United States, Ire
land, France. Austria. Holland, Hun
gary. Finland, Spain and Switzer-
land
What gives me most satisfaction
is that two of our first members were
respectively a policeman and hotel
keeper"
The rules Of the society are simple
and must be accepted -heartedly
by every entrant They are:
I. Get a paddock and unlock It.
2. Repeat the pledge in the pres
ence Of three witnesses and lock the
paddock.
3. To remain member repeat the
promise with an open paddock in the
presence of three members every New
Years Day.
There are no fees. no forms and no
Inquiries. All the society insists on
is n promise to try to be more toler-
ant
The Indianapolis times., 1922-08-26
The Red House Mystery AA 1S %lLur
CORA QUICK

it would be rather amusing If you
well, had your revenge
MY revenge? How do you
mean?'
Well. paid her back in her own
coin.
DO you mean try and frighten
her?'
NO. no; but dressed up and
pulled her leg a bit. Made her look
fool IN front of the others
laughed 10 myself again. Serve her
jolly we'll right
He jumped UP excitedly.
by love. Cay" he cried. II I
could. How? You must think Of a
way
Il don't know If Beverley has told
you about Marks acting. He was an
amateur Of all the arts, and vain Of
Lis little talents, but as an actor he
seemed TO himself most wonderful
Certainly he had some ability for the
stage. so long as he had the stage TO
himself and was playing to an ad-
miring audience. AS a professional
actor in a small part he would have
The Indianapolis times., 1922-08-26

Pretty little American girls and
sturdy little American boys will bring
joyous youth and color into the Ar
menian pageant to be given at Cadle
tabernacle next Wednesday and
Thursday nights in connection with
an oriental bazar where the exquisite
needle work and hundreds OF beauti-
full things from the Near East will be
displayed and sold.
The entertainment viii be free to
the public. Indianapolis women are
sponsoring It in conjunction with Noar
East relief.
Children VIII have parts throughout
the pageant. but will be specially IN
evidence In the Armenian wedding
scenes to follow the Biblical episodes,
such as the Nativity. parable OF the
Ten Virgins, parable OF the Widow 3
Mite. bringing Jairus' little daughter
TO life, episode showing tho three
Crosses. and the three Marys at the
empty tomb. The Armenian wedding
in which Miss Grace Tootlkian will ne
the bride. will be performed in true
Oriental fashion by an Armenian
priest. The Arab patrol. troops Of
children and fifteen beautiful brides
maids will give dash to the nuptial
picture, which later is followed by the
tragic death OF the bride by cruel
fixion.
Following will be the bridesmaids:
Jean Duthie, Caroline McMath, Doro-
thy Fritz. Laura Schultz. Helen
Power. Katherine Keely, Marie Roger.
Mary Louise Mann. Edna Miller, Flor
ence Sheets. Mrs. Fl. T. Stoops, Mrs
The Indianapolis times., 1922-08-26

ming at the home Of the bride on
Bontcalm St Mr.. and Mrs. Scott will
he at home in Indianapolis after
Sept. s.
Wednesday evening Mrs. c. Roltare
Eggleston viii give a theater party
at the AIurat in honor of Miss Thelma
Blossom, who will go to Atlantic City
to represent Indianapolis at the At
lantic City pageant.
Mr.. and Mrs. C. J. Roth have gone
to Lake Manitou to spend a fortnight
at their summer cottage.
NTr. and Mrs. Glenn ]. BookwaIter
and Mr.. and Mrs. Harry McClelland
and sons. Harry and Pearce, viii go
to Chicago Wednesday to spend sew
eral days.
Miss Alice Johnson Of Louisville,
KY. IS visiting friends in Indianapo-
lis.
Mrs. A. B. Wagner Of Fairfield Ave.
gave a luncheon bridge yesterday in
honor OF Miss Caroline Redd of Wash
ington, D. c., who is her guest. The
guests included Miss Thelna Blossom.
Miss Jeanette Lieber. Mrs. c. Rol-
tare Eggleston, Mrs. A. B. Blossom.
Miss Josephine OBrien, Mrs A. X.
Reese, Mrs. Anne Gerber and Miss
Helen Matter
The Indianapolis times., 1922-08-26
Hints for Canning Fruit
By BERTHA E. SHAPLEIGH
Cooking Authority for NEA SerVtce and
CoLumbtQ LHfUersttp.

Canning however delightful
full follows few rules These Sound fruit clean
utensils sterzed jars and good place
a and do try o
deal thus feeling
a
vatve and bacteria do not like a
method
this
danger of poge than when the kettle method
Tomatoes and fruit done with Of
safe when done in the kettle
Sorting grading fruit vegetables according and
If small vegetables cooked with the older
cooked others
products; much spoil
fruits
Another word "banching which the fruit
of cheesecoh boiling When
handled from peeng
in vegetables
important processing"
n before sealing.
is housekeeper
Agriculture bulletin
banchng
the easiest best
The Indianapolis times., 1922-08-26
THE ADVENTURES OF
RAGGEDY ANN AND ANDY

Who do you suppose that is2"
asked Raggedy Andy as no and Rag
gedy Ann peeped out from behind
some ferns at a strange little crea-
ture just about half as tall as them
selves
L do not know" Raggedy Ann re-
piled. Suppose we ask him. Raggedy
Andy"
The strange little creature was
dressed in brown clothes and his face
and hands were as brown as his little
suit
When Raggedy Ann and Raggedy
Andy stepped out from behind the
ferns and said Good morning. the
strange little creature blinked his
round eyes at them and said good
morning in return, but his face did
not change expression. Nor did he
seem pleased nor displeased that the
two Raggedys should speak to him
I'VE are Raggedy Ann and Raggedy
Andy said Raggedy Ann as she held
out her hand TO the strange little fel
low.
I'm Pickled.lly," the strange little
creature answered without SO much
as a smile
Raggedy Ann and Raggedy Andy
stood looking at Pickledilly, smiling
cheerily and good naturedly, why
don't you smile when you greet peo-
ple?" Raggedy Ann asked him.
"I can't" Pickledilly replied.
why not?" Raggedy Andy asked.
Tears rolled down Pickeldilly's nose
and splashed his little shoes and Rag
gedy Ann, very tenderly, because she
had a candy heart, you know. wiped
PickeldiIly's eyes with her pocket
hanky. 1t was the nice, clean. white
pocket hanky Raggedy Ann always
carried in her pretty white apron
pocket.
But what was Raggedy AIMS sur
prise when she wiped the tears from
Pickledilly's eyes to see that her nice,
clean, white pocket hanky was now
covered with mud and that Pickle
dilly had two clean spots around his
eyes.
This made Pickledil1y look as though
he were a pair Of white specl1s and
he was quite funny looking with the
rest of his face so brown.
why" exclaimed Raggedy Andy
as he saw Raggedy AIMS soied
pocket hanky. His face is covered
with dirt, and the wet, wet tears
made his eyes muddy and you wiped
the mud from his eyes with your nice,
clean, white pocket hanky, Raggedy
Ann"
Yes" Raggedy Ann agreed, that's
tust wl,o' t~rro~o7 = r>-~--o(7v ANDY
The Indianapolis times., 1922-08-26

II. w. Jones, Virginia Harbottle. Mar
garet Woessner. Mrs. f b. Grub.
Mrs. Nettie Ransford, secretary Of the
Eastern Star, IS cast for the grand
mother Of the bride In the closing
scenes Miss Victoria Montana. harp
ist, viii give the Armenian national
anthem.
In the Biblical episodes Mrs. W. W
Reedy, pres dent Of Central w. c. r.
L., Will impersonate the character Of
the mother Of Jesus. one hundred
members Of her organization viii be
in the pageant Mrs william Har-
mon VIII be Mary Magdalene and
Mrs. W. O. Blanford VIII represent
Mary, sister of Martha.
In the parable OF the Ten Virgins.
Miss Ruth Reedy. Miss AdeI STAINS
burg. Miss Jane McCarty Mrs w. O..
Blanford and Mrs. w. G.. Lytle will
be seen as the Wise Virgins. The
Foolish Virgins are Miss Helen Won
Willer, soprano; Mss Mildred Johns.
alto; Mrs Don Tullis. soprano; Miss
Verne LowmaE, soprano. Shepherds
who go TO visit the Christ child in
the manEer are the following mem
bers Of the Order DE Molay: Oscar
Schrader. Russell Jordan. Walter
Blaze, Marcellus Carpenter. Max Cap
lin. Ernest Heberlein. Charles John
son, Orv,lle Wilkinson, Allen Major,
Leroy Lyons. Arthur Welshan, Ed.
ward Kroencke, Fred Cadby, Mayn-
ard Coffee. Russell Adams, Sidney
Volk. II. Refine. George Weilacher
The county American Legion has
indorsed the pageant and will furnish
talent for episodes. The following
men from the Service Club have been
assigned to represent England,
France and Italy in the scenes where
nations are called 10 witness Ar
menia's distress through the voice OF
Lady Anne Azgapetion; Edward II
Emery, William Z. Gavin. William
Horn. Arthur p. Lacy. Samuel r.
Smith, c. Curtis Duck. Neal Grider,
Frank Arnold j. II. Hartman.
Both Wednesday and Thursday
afternoons the tabernacle viii be
open to audiences when the motion
picture. Alice In Hungerland" viii
be shown and the bazaar viii be in
operation in charge OF groups of
Armenian girls.
The Indianapolis times., 1922-08-26
SENATOR WIFE
RESIGNS CLUB
Mrs. Lenroot Forced by III
Health to Quit Presidency of
Powerful Society Body.
By United Ne4os


WASHINGTON, Aug. 26.-Mrs.
Irvine Lenroot, wife of Senator Len
root, Wisconsin, has been compelled
to resign as president of the socially
powerful Congressional Club here be
cause of i'll health. Mrs Joseph s.
Frel.nghuysen, vice president Of the
club and wife Of Senator Frel.nghuy-
sen, New Jersey, has succeeded to
Mrs. Lenroot's position.
The Congressional Club, since it's
organization, has become the most
important social institution in Wash
ingtOn outside the White House. In
cluded in its membership are the wife
Of the President, wife Of the Wee
Pres dent and the wives of the Cabi-
net members, in addition to the fam
lilies Of all members Of the House and
Senate.
Its social calendar always is made
public Immediately after that Of the
White House and its first social
events are receptions to the presiden-
tial and vice presidential families, fol-
lowed by a reception to the Speaker
of the House and his wife and a par
ticularly brilliant affair for the diplo-
matte corps.
Mrs. Lenroot was almost unani-
rnously elected president Of the club
this year.
The Indianapolis times., 1922-08-26

but I'm glad I solled my nice. clean,
white pocket hanky If it will help
P.ckledilly."
Pickledilly's eyes twinkled. but stiu
he did not smile.
do you know WHAT" said Rag
gedy Ann as she dipped her pocket
hanky in the Laughing Brook. L am
going to wash Pickledilly's face nice
and clean"
And with the wet pocket hanky,
Raggedy Ann washed Pickledulys
face nice and clean while Raggedy
Ann washed Pickledlly's hands nice
and clean.
Pickledilly wiggled and squirmed
and twisted and wriggled while he
was being washed. but the two Rag
gedys held him so tight he could not
get away until he was nice and clean