Every evening, Wilmington daily commercial. (Wilmington, Del.) 1878-1928, 1922-11-11
The Eight Thirteen
Runs Saturdays Only

~
woman only uses about 400 words.
But you stroll home too late some
night and watch her call out her re-
serves
a Kansas paper announces that
Miss Viola Potts and Roy Coffee were
united In the holy bonds OF matri-
mony at the home of Mr.. Moore. Aw,
you make your own comment!
The office cat says about that COT
fee-Potts wedding that she supposes
the couple will soon settle down. But
the insect comes back with the com
ment that he feels there are good
grounds for divorce already.
These nre the days when COW that
looks like a deer ought TO be worth
real money to It's owner.
After that royal" wedding in Doom
we feel sure that the first words old
Bill said was the German foe "Oh
Min"
Business would not he on tho bias
II all Of us would stop waIling and
buy as much as we can.
What tickles us most these days /,
our winter underwear.
But as we lay aside for season tn,
Others" no one has yet solved tn,
riddle of what "B. V. D." stands for
Might we with propriety call then
mail "envelopes?'
! News item going the rounds OF tn
| papers tells us that men use fac
lotions, powder. and perfumes. n
news about that: it's What Ever
| Woman Knows"
Down South they are holding con
vention Of fat women. What Zlegfiel
might call big Girl Review"
These cool days we note a lot Z
camphor perfume is being worn /
the Eight Thirteen.
We are apt to think that ne,
things originate here in America. BIT
here Is an advertisement found b
Chris Morley (our ever-observar
former townsman) in the I,ondo
Mercury, which Is not only novel bl
contains the germs Of dozen plot
for the ready writer.
"IsefuI Womep-
are at society's service. being a-lea ~
OF efficient gentlewomen ready
short notice TO undertake any duty
the following or any duty that Is po
sible to carry out:
Auctions attended. Antiques bough
sold or valued. Brio -brac, objects
vertu, etc, sold on commission. Bool
| reported. Bookplates supplied J.
braries catalogued. Indexing and r
ing. Letters written. Secretari
work. Tipping and shorthand.
Dinner speeches prepared. Eloc
ton lessons given. Public speake
provided. Reading aloud.
Emergency guests for dinners, pa
ties. etc, provided. Paying guests i
troduced. Motor cars provided al
driven by competent chauffeur
: Lonely persons visited and entertai
] ed. Hotel accommodations arrange
!. Mending for bachelors. Troussear
= chosen.
A Useful Women"
= do everything that can be done wi
n a view 10 strict economy unless othC
;, wise instructed.
( Apply to Miss Kerr, Useful womel
48 Dover street, London, w. I
2. There seems TO be a lot of unnec,
V sary discussion about the length
. skirts. New York says nine incl
-" from the ground. Philadelphia sd
d seven. Why can't we all agree Il
/ the proper height is "a little abe
two feet?"
. With German marks at about tn
: cents a hundred the wealth VIII
Bill Hohenzollern showered on
Minnie don't mean anything.
You can tell a college man al
where-but not any thing.
Speaking of Apple Week, just &C
brated, II AN apple a day keeps
doctor away" there's one way 10 k
" the high price Of doctorlng down.
They say the Arctic Ocean is g
ting TOO warm for the seals. Time
If take off their seal skins.
4 They tell US with great glee d
a. turkeys in California will be MI
rs cheaper this year. That may be II
but it won't put a drumstick on
plate.
y. Unfortunately, We are finding
that II you lead the country to wa
you can't stop its drinking.
~ Which reminds us, that these
> when we see a man exceedingly
Ply, il may be called a regular hip,
!, hurrah.'
ne THE EVENING SMILE.
IL TO EVEN THINGS UP.
A mother wrote a note to
N, teacher which read.