The Bamberg herald. [volume] (Bamberg, S.C.) 1891-1972, 1922-11-30
Cluck Clucks Clan
Asks a Bonus

clansman, the eyeholes Of his sheet
fairly flashing fire, said he was ''agin
it," giving as an example young
man in a nearby town who draws
S1OO a month for vocational training,
when the nearest he got to the front
was in training camp where he used a
perfume manufactured in France.
Another clansman was just as en-
phatically for the bonus citing an in
stance of a young man who had both
lungs gassed away in the Argonne
Forest. This young man was denied
his chance of life, as he had to send
what wages he was able to earn to his
wife and baby instead of going to the
Southwest where he stood a show.
Here the Chief Kettle Tender made a
speech, giving his war record and ask
ing for a bonus. His speech:
When America entered the war |
was holding my Western Front
| against some so acres of corn; on my
| right flank was a 70-acre wheat field
and on my left bunch of alfalfa, and
some milk COWS. My reinforcements
the hired men-got hold of some
enemy propaganda offering SS a day
to work for a paving company, and
deserted in a body l now recognize
that the paving of every wide place
in the road calling itself town was
necessary to the winning of the war,
as it offered the soda clerks place
to run their jitneys, giving them exer-
else to keep in condition and enable
them to do their bit.
But were we downhearted? No!
The missus and the kids, forming a
rear guard, behaved splendidly, pro-
tecting my right flank against the
milk COWS, and even sending an Of
fensive into the wheat field.
Then the Government, recognizing
the dire straits of the farming sector,
sent AGRICULTURAL agents to the rescue
of the farmer, who had been blunder-
ing along in his poor weak way ever
since the Virginia Colonists discov-
cred the difference between smoking
tobacco and eating tobacco.
They took it upon themselves to
guarantee price on hogs, baslng 1t
on 13 bushels of corn to 100 pounds
Of hog. l bought corn at sl.2o a
bushel and sold those shotes for IA
cents: those that didn't die Of cholera
"Ah, iha," you say, that is the
secret of this guys dissatisfaction. he
/ ia the kind of an old hick who lets MS
pigs die of cholera. He should vac
cinate." Well, I wish I was, as last
wear I vaccinated healthy herd with
serum furnished by the county agent;
serum that was years old and would
| not have been touched by reilaole
| veterinarian with a 10-foot pole.
But to get back to the way 1 won
the war. The Government aided me
| by guaranteeing the price of wheat
down from $3.50 a bushel to $3.50.
By it's Bureau Of Statistics is showed
me that by buying 10 yards of canvas
at $50 a yard to cover the bottom
of my rack at threshing time and by
using a vacuum cleaner on it every
night, l would be enabled to save .
bushels of wheat, and that this 9
| bushels of wheat would enable a
French widow to live, marry and raise
three sons. These three sons multi
plied by the number of farmers in the
wheat belt would show the army that
France would be able to put in the
field in 1886, to hold the Hun till our
boys got across.
Also the Daylight Saving Plan was
a big help. Personally was only able
to save daylight by working from kin
to kant, or from the time I could see
till I couldn't. But the city industrial
worker stimulated production by quit
ting the middle of the afternoon.
! Thus in addition to his work he was
enabled to rid our streams Of German
carp, which fish was suspected of CIV
ing aid and comfort 20 enemy sub
marines.
Yes, consider I helped to win the
war and were another game called to-
morrow I would sit in, as live in the
best county, in the best state, in the
United States which is the best Ma
ton in the world. But believe [ am
entitled to bonus. The bonus ! ask
for is not that some one should open
the gate and let me into the public
crib. but that capital and labor should
get together. cut out their striking
and profiteering and manufacture
.L..n1,, o,ouob that oan hUy