The Washington times., 1922-08-06
Why Be a
Millionaire

tract any attention Is by jumping
IN front of subway train or
shooting a chorus girls husband.
They are so thick in some cities
they block traffic and traffic cops
address them just as though they
were common people, and brush
them out Of the way like SO many
horse-fiies.
The trouble, with a millionaire
nowadays is that he doesn't seem
to fit in anywhere. Hefs too rich
ito associate with the poor and
enjoy their comforts and pas
times, and he is too poor to travel
round with the really wealthy.
Millionaires used to be great
heroes with the chorus girls, but
the only way a millionaire can
get a footlight fairy to give him
Q second, look nowadays Is by
making her think the million Is
his yearly income and not his
total wealth. ...
A millionaire Is very popular
If his million Is escorted by thirty
or forty more just like It.
When q one-million-dollar man
gets into fast company he Is
handicapped worse than q one
legged shimmy dancer, and he
simply doesn't belong.
He can't even afford to have
enough operations to mako him
an entertaining talker at dinner
table. The poor look upon him
with suspicion. Tho rich look
upon him with disdain.
Now, It Is comparatively easy
for any man TO escape being q
millonaire-that Is to say, man
with one million and one only
and by escaping this he will, Of
course, be happy.
One way to escape is 10 start
out In life as q writer and stick
10 It. OF course, this is one of
the most difficult ways. II he
does not care for writing he may
accomplish about the same results
In any Of the arts. II, however,
the million dollars forces itself
upon him in spite Of all his efforts
to clyde 1t, he can always give 1t
away.
This Is what happened to Char
lie Garland, the "soul-mate"
champion Of Massachusetts,. He
knew there was no use In being
only a millionaire, and 50 he has
given his money away. In order
to make sure that his money
should be given away effectively
without any returning to haunt
him, he gave it to q little group
of serious thinkers in Greenwich
Village. 1t is believed this mil
lionaire solved his trouble in
about as effective a way as could
be devised.
When a man gets rid Of his
million the poor regard him with
respect and he can join in their
sweet and simple pleasures, and
the rich pay no attention to him
at all. Thus he Is not embar-
rassed.
II it is impossible for mil
hohaire to find any little group
of serious thinkers who are will
ing to furnish a parking place
for his million, there are any
number Of things he can do to
rod1ce himself to a state Of hap
piness and poverty.
He can 60 to Europe and spend
q couple Of weeks at the best
Paris hotel. =. In order to get rid
Of the dough quickly he should
announce the fact that he Is an
American. Americans are fur
nished with extra facilities for
getting rid Of money quickly.
They are favored in this way in
every European country. It.
would be great mistake for him
to pose as an European, for then
he would probably have to stay
o month or two in the Paris hotel
to accomplish his purpose.
So, while the man with ono
million dollars is in a pitiable
condition, in a way, we do not
sympathize with him so very
much. There are a thousand
ways out Of his predicament, and
any one of them quick and sure.
II all other efforts fail, he might
marry Peggy Hopkins Joyce for
l. A..,o .-l I.x.- L..