davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Middletown transcript., 1922-06-17
EXAMPLES OF REAL OPTIMISM
Only Fair to State, However, That
They Are Not Actual Happen
inQs Of Record.

"Fire" Fkidlesticks, young man.
The booklet Says this hotel is abso-
lutely fireproof. Go away and let me
Sleep"
whats this-from the income tax
bureau? Good! They probably are
sending me a refund"
II don't seem to be able to get GEN.
tral, Mary, but I'm sure those burglars
won't be through in the cellar for
some time yet"
Its good thing Jack has gone
over to Gloria. He'll appreciate me
all the more after he tires of her."
Lots of time, George. dear. Just
try again and give her little more
gas. That train will stop rather than
hit u.s."
II feel I'm going to lose my petit
coat before another block, but I'll
probably look snappier without it."
Ten years in Sing Sing? Thank
you, judge. I've always wanted to
wear light suit, but never had the
courage"
"Triplets? Hot dog! That just com
pletes the children's baseball nine !'-
Life.
Middletown transcript., 1922-06-17
DAIRY
HINTS
SECRETS OF DAIRY SUCCESS
Two Big Thinos Are Proper Care and
Feed, Says Specialist Of OKLA
homa College.

1.-TWO great secrets in dairying which
have been the reason for the success
Of thousands Of dairymen are proper
feeding Of cows and proper care of
cows" says A. G. Baer, head Of the
Dairy Husbandry department of Ok
lahoma Agricultural and Mechanical
college.
Thousands Of cows would be profit
able and good cows If they were given
a chance; IL they were properly fed
housed, and cared for.
"Good feeding means to give cows
enough feed to produce milk and the
right kind of feed to produce milk.
Most Of the feed for cows ought to
be grown on Oklahoma farms. Alfalfa
hay is the best dairy COW feed which
can be grown. Corn and sorghums,
such as kafir and darso, can be grown
for the silo. Ensilage on a dairy farm
or any farm where dairy cows are
kept provides succulent feed and is in
dispensable.
Most of the grain for cow feeding
can be grown on the average Okla
hohiu idiih. "A Soou gram HllNIuTe TOT
milk cows Is as follows: parts
ground oats, 3 parts bran or alfalfa
meal, 3 parts ground kaflr, / part cot
tOnseed meal.
"A dairy COW needs about one pound
Of grain for three or four pounds of
milk produced. Dairy cows should be
fed grain Individually according to the
amount Of milk for growth If imma-
ture, and at times to produce gain in
weight.
"Dairy cattle will respond to good
care. Every Oklahoma farm where
cows are kept should have at least a
good shed to protect the cows from
bad weather and cold winds. A blan-
ket in very cold weather will pay
for itself in very short time Every
dairy COW should be cleaned and
brushed regularly. 1t helps to keep
her In better health"
Middletown transcript., 1922-06-17
GRAIN BOOSTED MILK FLOW
Large Increase Obtained by Minnesots
Community by Feeding While
on Pasture.

Twenty-one dairy herds in the Blue
Earth County Cow Testing associa-
tion averaged 1920 pounds of milk
and 2S5 pounds of butterfat per COW
in 1920. Nineteen herds in the same
association averaged $500 pounds of
milk and 345 pounds of butterfat per
COW In 1921. The percentage of gain
in milk in 1921 over 1920 was 1913 !;
in hutterfat, 81. The tester In charge
in his annual report to University
farm says:
II attribute this gain to better care
and feeding. The cows were fed a
grain ration the year round, thus keep
ing up the production during the late
summer months when It usually drops
because of short pastures"
Middletown transcript., 1922-06-17
Important to all Women
Readers of this Paper

Thousands upon thousands of women
have kidney or bladder trouble and never
suspect it.
Womens complaints often prove to be
nothing else but kidney trouble, or the
result of kidney or bladder disease.
If the kidneys are not in healthy con.
dition, they may cause the other organs
to become diseased.
You may suffer pain in the back, head
ache and loss of ambition.
Poor health makes you nervous, irrita-
BILE and may be respondent; it makes any
one so.
But hundreds of women claim that DR..
Kilmer's Swamp-Roo by restoring
health to the kidneys, proved to be just
the remedy needed to overcome such
conditions.
Many send for sample bottle to see what
Swamp Root, the great kidney, liver and
bladder medicine, will do for them. By
enclosing ten cents to DR.. Kilmer & Co.,
Binghamton, N. Y, you may receive SAM
pie size bottle by Parcel Post. You can
purchase medium and large size bottles at
all drug Observation-Disclosures
Middletown transcript., 1922-06-17
DAIRY cows RETURN PROFIT
Hlgh-Produelng Animals Are Usually
Most Economical In Matter Of
Food Consumed.

prepared by the United States Department
Of Agriculture.)
High-producing dairy cows are near
ly always economical producers, says
the United States Department of Agrl-
culture in replying to an inquirer who
asked for comparison of purebred
and grade cows as to economy of pro-
duction. If herd Of purebred cows
has greater ability to produce milk
and butter fat than herd of grades,
1t will return more milk and butter fat
for the feed consumed. AS Il rule pure
breds are bred for high production,
and just to the extent that they are
Middletown transcript., 1922-06-17
g. Putnam FadeeSS DYES hos !..;.::
Cutting off the Last Word.

Archeologists have recently been
puzzled over the finding of the head
less body Of an Egyptian princess in
an ancient tomb. 1t seems that the
question as to how the lady lost her
head is important in archeologic
circles.
In certain Oriental countries it is
customary for the head of the house,
in the event of domestic argument,
to behead the lady, thus cutting the
lady as well as the argument short.
Doubtless, the last words that issued
from the lips of the headless princess
were: where have you been?"-
Judge.
Middletown transcript., 1922-06-17
ROADS PAY DIVIDENDS

A wagon with load of 5000
pounds required an average
draft of 10S pounds on a gravel
road in dry condition, in re-
cent test at the Missouri College
of Agriculture. The same load
on dry clay road required
draft of 321 pounds. This shows
the great variation in the work
done in hauling and in the size
of load team can handle, says
j. c. Wooley, chairman of the
agricultural engineering depart
ment, which conducted this test.
The gravel roads prove their
value even more completely un-
der spring conditions. This load
on the same roads after heavy
rain required draft of 1S0
pounds on the gravel, and 372
pounds on the clay. This is only
one of the many advantages Of
fered by all-the-year roads.
Middletown transcript., 1922-06-17
GOOD
MAKE TESTS ON BATES ROAD
Has 63 Different Sections and Repro.
sents That Many Kinds Of
Construction.

prepared by the United States Department
of Agricuture.)
Final series Of tests on one of the
largest and most comprehensive road
experiments ever attempted began
March %. This road, located at
Bates, Illinois, was designed and con-
structed by the Illinois division OF
highways under the direction of Clif-
ford Older, chief highway engineer,
with the bureau Of public roads, Unit
ed States Department of Agriculture
cooperating. 1t Is two miles long
and includes 63 different sections rep
resenting as many different methods
and kinds Of construction, having
various thicknesses of concrete. cement
grOut and asphalt filled brick as well
as asphalt concretes and concrete with
rolled stone bases.
Since the completion of its construc.
ton in April, 1921, II corps Of engineers
has been kept busy making observa.
tlons for effect of temperature changes,
static and repeated loads and sub
grade conditions, thus collecting data
which when analyzed will supplement
the information necessary for the ra.
tional design of roads.
The road will now be subjected to
the final test, that of very heavy truck
traffic, for the application of which
will be used fleet of 10 motor trucks
received by the state from the sur
plus Of the War department. At first
these trucks will be lightly loaded
but as the test progresses the load will
be increased until maximum Is
reached giving 12,O00-pound real
wheel load. The results will SHOW
definitely the types of pavement,
which ran be expected to support
Middletown transcript., 1922-06-17
Unkjnd Remark.

A scenario writer experienced greal
difficulty in getting his plots accepted.
AS a rule, they were SO uninterestinn
that complete hearing was seld0m
granted. At last he managed to PEI.
suade weary producer to listen II
the synopsis Of his latest play.
"Imagine." he began, midnight, an
silent as the grave.
1.-TWO burglars force open> library
windows, and eventually commences
operations on the safe. The clock
strikes one"
(Which. one" yawned the produces.
Middletown transcript., 1922-06-17

higher producers than the grades they
may be expected to return more for
the feed they use. But purebreds are
not always high producers.
The ratio is not constant between
the quantity of feed consumed and the
quantity of milk produced. The rec
ords Of cow-testing associations show
that the cows that produced 10000
pounds of milk year ate only 55 per
cent more feed than those that pro-
duced 5000 pounds of milk year.
The cows that made 1900 pounds of
milk year ate only 81 per cent more
than those that made 5000 pounds of
milk a year. These figures are based
on thousands of records.
Middletown transcript., 1922-06-17
"WjlIjnu to Paw"

Two colored ball teams were assem-
bled and were about to start their
game, but discovered one Of their
fielders missing. Their captain asked
for someone from the crowd to fill the
fielder's place. A tall gent said he
had some experience, so they put him
in the game. Everything went all
right till it came his turn at bat.
After the newcomer had swung at
two pitched balls he connected with
the next one and it went soaring over
the fence. The crowd all began to
yell "Run! Rum" But he didn't get
1t, and turning to the crowd he shout
ed: "Run nothing. I'll buy them an
other ball"
Middletown transcript., 1922-06-17
Tin Can

the other day. A dog ran into her
with such force that it knocked her
down. Just then light auto ran over
her. A gentleman witnessing the ac-
cident came to her assistance. He
said: Lady, did that dog hurt you?"
She looked at him Il little dazed and
replied: "No. the dog didn't hurt me,
it was the tin can tied to its TAIL"
Middletown transcript., 1922-06-17
One Reason for Haste.

Two six-year-Old boys were passing
bills one day in Falrmount. They
stopped, out Of breath and tired, ak
the home Of a relative for brief rest.
"Why should you 80 SO fast?" asked
the relative. "You have plenty OF time
and it's too hot weather to hurry go.
"Oh, was the answer, we've just
got to hurry in order to keep up with
each orher" r"-Indianapolis News.
Middletown transcript., 1922-06-17
Unnecessary Practice.

Oiling concrete road or any prop.
erly surfaced highway is not only
nuisance to the public, but is a lament
able waste of a natural resource, says
II. ii. Franklin, who claims that the
oiling system, hOld-over from the
experimental days, is no longer nee.
essary and should be abandoned.
Middletown transcript., 1922-06-17
What Eiaures Are For.

"What good are the figures set down
in these railway time tables?" asked
the sarcastic and angry would-be pas
senger.
why" explained the genial station
master, "if it wern't for them figures
we'd have no way of findin out how
late the trains are.'
Middletown transcript., 1922-06-17
Value Of Boarder Cow.

Saving $55 or $50 worth Of feed
for boarder COW added to what she'll
bring as dressed meat means maybe
a hundred dollars in the pocket which
isn't bad price for a COW that's no
good ANYHOW.
Middletown transcript., 1922-06-17
Innocent Pastime.

An old man was walking along a
road one night, when he was con-
fronted by burly stranger.
"What do you want?" he asked.
"We're going to ave a game of put
and take, mate" replied the stranger.
"Put and take!" gasped the old man,
shivering with fright.
"Yus," said the burly one "You put
yer 'ands up and I'll take yer watch |"
London Tit-Bits.
Middletown transcript., 1922-06-17
Brinoino Him to the Point.

Miss De Muir-Papa has forbiddeo
you to come to the house. He says
you are dangerous man.
Dangerous. What can he mean7"
'He says you are the kind OF man
who will hang round girl all her LIE
and never marry her." gf
Then he proposed. - Edinburxh
Scotsman.
Middletown transcript., 1922-06-17
Full Of Bullets.

"Scribson didn't stay long in the
mountain country"
II thought he went there to get some
atmosphere for a story"
"He did, but feud was going on
and the atmosphere was too metallic"
Middletown transcript., 1922-06-17
Chicago Plans 25-story Garage.

Among the latest novelties of au-
tomobile conveniences is a proposed
automobile garage Of 25 stories, in Chi
cago, to cost $1,200,00O. After the
owner or driver deposits the car In the
building. an elevator carries 1t upstairs
and stores it in its allotted space. All
this work is accomplished by wom-
an operating at a keyboard on the first
floor,
Middletown transcript., 1922-06-17
The cuticura Toilet Trio.

Having cleared your skin keep it clear
by making Cuticura your everyday
toilet preparations. The Soap to:cleanse
and purify, the Ointment to soothe and
heal, the Talcum to powder and per-
fume. No toilet table is complete
without observation-disclosures
Middletown transcript., 1922-06-17
Not Battered Enouoh

Sculptor-My dear young lady, Tn
looking for model who's aged and
ugly. You are entirely too pretty foe
the type / desire.
Model-What are you going -
sculpture?
Sculptor-A statue of peace.-La
Journal Amusant. M "a
Middletown transcript., 1922-06-17
Get Cow Into Shape.

In order to get the COW into the
best physical shape for the calving
time, it is advisable to feed her some
linseed oil, a quart of the raw product
per dose, as this will clean out her
digestive tract.
Middletown transcript., 1922-06-17
Travel In California.

OF the vehicular traffic on the high.
ways in California 97.3 per cent is
motor propelled. Motor trucks con.
stitute nearly 13 per cent of the total
traffic.
Middletown transcript., 1922-06-17
SAVE SHOES AND STOCKINGS

They will last twice long II you Shake
Into Your shoes ALIENS FOOT=EASE,
the powder for the feet. 1t takes the fric-
tion from the shoe and gives quick relief to
Corns Bunions. Callouses, sore. aching. swol-
len. tender feet. Shake Aliens Foot=Ease
into your shoes and enjoy the bliss Of feet
without an ache.-Advertsement.
Middletown transcript., 1922-06-17
The Styles.

"What, in your opinion, has been the
outstanding feature of woman's eman.
cipation?"
"She talks less and reveals more"
Judge.
Middletown transcript., 1922-06-17
lowers to Control Traffic.

Towers, erected in the middle of
streets and highways for the control
of traffic, were first operated in Paris
In 1910.
Middletown transcript., 1922-06-17
Determine Roarder Cow.

The "boarder" in the herd can only
be determined by the use of the
weight scales and the Babcock butter
fat test.
Middletown transcript., 1922-06-17
Proof.

Hubby, do you love me?"
"Of course"
"How much do you love Ine?"
"Well, here's my check book. You
can glance over the tubs."-Judge.
Middletown transcript., 1922-06-17
Cost Of "Ridoe Route.p

A thirty-mile concrete highway In
California known as the Ridge
Route" cost $1,50O,00o.
Middletown transcript., 1922-06-17
Choose Between Milk and Flies.

Take your choice between flies and
milk; the energy a COW uses when
badly pestered with flies can't go into
l,ilk production.
Middletown transcript., 1922-06-17
Clever Bow.

Mother-"You should learn to make
things go as far as possible" Johnny
-"Should stretch the truth, maj"
Middletown transcript., 1922-06-17

DR.. Peery's Dead Shot" Is powerful but
with one single dose. Worms pr Tapeworm
can be expelled from the syStem. and no
castor oil or other purgative should be used
in addition. Money back IL not satisfied
Aduerfiaement.
Middletown transcript., 1922-06-17
lmnarfanf fa Mothars
No Wonder.

"Pa, why do they say in the market
reports that wheat is nervous?"
Il guess, son, 1t is because 1t ex-
poets to be thrashed." Life.
Middletown transcript., 1922-06-17
Keen Folks Anart

Bad roads and bad tempers both
keep folks apart.
Middletown transcript., 1922-06-17

Envy will find faults where there
are none.
Middletown transcript., 1922-06-17

God, from a beautiful necessity, is
love.
Middletown transcript., 1922-06-17

No two grains Of sand are exactlH
alike.
Middletown transcript., 1922-06-17
Raise Record Breaker,

Use purebred sires and raise record
breakers.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1922-02-03
$500 BLUE BIRD SHOWS OFF
Hangs Head Down in Cage to Dis
play Gorgeous Plumaoe-
Cost $1,000.

New York-The New York Zoo
logical society recently paid $1,000 for
q pair Of blue birds of paradise. and.
In the opinion of Director Hornaday.
II got fine bargain.
The birds were captured i'm New
Guinea by Ellis Joseph's, collector,
and are known as Prince Rudoiph's
blue birds Of paradise. SO far as
known, they are the only specimens
OF their kind in captivity.
Recently when the male bird had mr.
rived at the height of his beauty dis
play. he was noticed during various
contortions, the least OF which seemed
10 be fondness for hanging in his
cage head downward. Hurried mes
sages were sent for Director Horna-
day. who soon saw the bird was only
taking this unusual method TO dis
play his beautiful plumage.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1922-02-03
The MQDkeQ Killer

Washington Democrat: A dis
patch from Washington City tell
that the second dist riot vaction
list. Congress man Bland. has just
returned from Panama where n
spent some time in the JuDgIes
of the tropical county shoot NJ
monkeys-irom the tall mahoRsn,
trees. According to the dispatch
Congressman Bland boasts that
he knocked eleven monk eys from
the trees. and the howls Of
monkeys could be heard for
miles," said Mr. Band. " as y,
crept through the jungles. aDc
their chatter b came threat II
ing when he rifles C, acked
The tn ling stories by Blanc
of how he shot down these IL
offensive little animals as they
were at play in the trees of IA
eff Panama will prove in eres :
inc to the folk back nom" WI o
have an old f,shiona' rotion
that a con Soessman OIlh t. no
on the job at Washington i'v
doing something to earn his ",
500 q year salary.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1922-02-03

His Excellency ROlandl Ricci. WRIT
ing Of The Fertile Land of vergii''
N The Forum. remarks of the prOduc-
rion Of silk there: There extensive
growth Of mulberry. especially in
northern Italy, permits a large pr"duc-
tion ~ silk worms, which furnish the
raw material for Italy's fourIShing
silk Industries In this production
Italy leads the nations OF Europe. The
orange and lemon groves produce
about S,OOoGp Quintals of fruit an
nually. OF this production 80 per cent
consists Of lemons. for which there Is
large demand in foreign countries. The
total expectation OF oranges and
lemons before the war aggregated
about 1900 quintals. valued at S5,-
000,0O0 lire. In 1919. 2.10000O,00
were exported. The resumption OF
normal commercial relations may make
way for u large increase In these ex-
ports II Is TO be especially noted that
Italy has almost monopoly OF citrous
derivatives. chief among which IL the
output of cilrous essences and citrate
az calcium. Italian production in these
two derivatives covers nine-tenths Of
the entire world output"
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1922-02-03
FRIDAY FEBRUARY 3. 1921
Yardi 0 Worried About New

President Harding and Other
administration leaders are worri
ed about Senator New of ln!i-
an.
From one end of Indiana to an
other, Ho siers are aroused for
former S nator Beveridge.
Beveridge clubs e b ing for
med throughout and all sorts of
prediction enthusiasm is being
generated
New faces the fight CT his life,
Repub lean politicians In Wash
ngt0n say.
The b veridge sentiment had
reached large proportions before
New voted 10 seat Senator New
berry, of Michigan This vote
has given the Heveridge boosters
an additional talking point
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1922-02-03
MEMS FACES CHANGE
New Type Being Developed, SAYS
English Painter.
Esperts Differ as 10 Whether This
Means Enal.shmen are Hand
somer OF UcIier.

London. SINCE Prof. Arthur Keith
OF the Royal College OF Surgeons an
nounced thar the faces Of men ure
changing Il heated controversy has
arisen AS ia whether the change Is for
better ar worse.
Sir Willum Orpen, the famous por-
trait painter, says EnglishmeD are
growing handsoiner every day. "A
firmer type. a stronger jaw Is develop
tny." he declared. Men are approx
mating more 10 what is known as the
strong silent type.
Il helieVp yOu can make yourselt
like anything you wish within limits.
one of these limits Is that you become
like the people you live with. either
in actual life or I'm the life ~ the
mind. That Is why the Englishman
II becoming like his strong silent
'dCal
Il have also found that husbands
grow liz" their wives and wives gro"
ike f'-ir husbands very frequently.
ou he Other hand Professor Par
rick G,,l,,.S OF University college.
Dundee. the geological authority. SAYS
ampAaticaly that men are n"l grow
inr better looking. PreSumahI! hs.
links ihry are becoming ugl.er.
Professor Keith whose annual re-
mort 10 he museum Of the Royal Col
zee of Surgeons. started the c"ntr'-
rrr~v. l. uu SAVING whether the male
'are j. go thr upgrade en- down. Al
10 admits is that from the evidence
80 la accumulated he is convinced
lat definite changes. particularly ID
he face and jaws. have been taking
n'ace in large proportion 81 The
HrlriSh people during the last century
n TWO.
In an EFFORT ts decide the issue
>rVersl experts in the geography and
Topography az the human map" have
made exhaustive tours OF the No
ional Portrait Gallery. which contains
some thousands Of paintings or Eng
fish historical perSonages for the last
go years. But the investigation failed
ten convince the experts that there
had been any change great enough "a
improve or spoil English male beauty
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1922-02-03
[fAgiin!((n4Jiiii
STRICKLAND WGlLuNN /,
(Copyrightl
NO STRANGERS.
(Copyright.l

There ought to be no strangers In this
little vale OF tears;
i haven't seen a strangers face for year,
and years and years.
see. OF course, some people that never
saw before,
But they're just like the others that I've
known in days OF yore
They've felt and known the selfsams
things the rest have known and felt
They'll freeze up for unfriendiy folks, for
kindly ones they'll melt
They've each one had q sorrow tAat they
thought they couldn't bear,
But bore II. just as people do WITH sor-
rows everywhere.
There ought to be no strangers, In thts
so-called world OF woe,
I see new people that love. jzst every.
where / GO.
And everyone has felt some Joy that I
had felt some time;
And each has had his little dream OF
higher slopes TO climb;
And each has known the sweets Of hon.A
At some time or another;
And nearly every man you meet will raw
about his mother.
They thrill at things that thrill me, too.
these friends | never met
There ought to be no strangers In this
pisnamed world OF fret
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1922-02-03
FARMING fHh sssr sUsIREss

Tarmins always wa. II. and always
win be the best business uader the
sun. when the right man under favor
able circumstances embarks In IL, says
Farm and Ranch. 1t Is not q business
Ia which one can become suddenly
and violently stricken" with super
abundant wealth, but II Is one In which
liberty IN its fullest sense, and plenty
In its amplitude may be realized and
enjoyed. IL there were no briefess
lawyers, no seedy doctors, no poverty
laden mechanics and laborers then one
might be discouraged with the fact
that there are many exceedingly poor
farmers, who fail TO make the two
ends OF the year meet But the poor
We have always" with US and this class
can never ny any system Of laws.
political or social. be entirely done
away with-st least during this life.
We msy. however, reduce their
numbers and ameliOrate, to some ex-
tent the condition Of the remainder.
This good work, however, must he
done by the farmers themselves, and
they seem recently 10 have caught
on" TO this fact Let them not turn
Ii loose.