davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-09-18
PRAISES PHONE SERVICE

"The telephone service situation in Birning- ham is considerably better than in many of the larger cities in the north and also in the south' stated Harry Herzog, travelling salesman, who is stopping in the city for few days. "Upon my arrival in Birmingham several days ago, one of the business men here asked me if the telephone service in other cities was as poor as it was in Birmingham. I can honestly say that I think the people of this city should be 'tickled to death over the service here, be- cause the telephone service in nearly every city that cover is not one-half as good as in Birmingham. do not mean, however, that Birmingham has the best telephone service in the United States. mean that this city has better service than 90 per cent of the other cities of it's size"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-09-18
WARRIOR RIVER PROTECTED IMPORTANT INDUSTRY

The Gulf States Cement company, which operates large cement plant at Demopolis, on the Warrior river, acknowledges it's obligations to the Warrior barge line during the GIT short age. An official of that company says if it had not been for the river the company would have been forced to close down its plant. \ But the, plant did not close. By means of barges 1t received coal to burn under its boilers from river mines, and it shipped its cement up and down the river. The southbound cargoes went to Mobile, to Pascagoula, to Panama Bay, to New Orleans and to other gulf ports. Its northbound cargoes came up to Tuscaloosa and other points.
 It would have been tragedy had the plant been forced to close at time when cement is bringing a good price and there is demand for more than southern cement mills can pro- duce at maximum capacity.
 Tho point is this: If the Warrior transpor-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-09-18
AUTo-DoDcING AN ART

"This is my first trip to Birmingham in 15 years," stated O. L. Frasser of Horton, who is in the city for a few days, land I don't mind stating that I haven't seen as many auto mobiles in one city in my life. Of course, I haven't been up in the big cities, all of my time having been spent in the cities of the south, whenever I have had occasion to leave my farm on business. It's a wonder to me that you do not have more accidents here. stood downtown corner Saturday night and it was marvellous to see the streams of tomobes cross at the intersections of the different corners without any accident of any kind happening. I can see that part of this is because of the traffic policemen, but the ability of the pedestrians in lodging in and out among the automobiles is an art all to itself, and is only acquired by the city folks.'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-09-18
BUSINESS NEARING NORMAL

"The continued news of excellent and as- sured crops in nearly every line has naturally exerted powerful and stimulating effect upon market conditions" said Henry Clews of New York. "This has been aided by the steady recovery in the steel situation which has con- siderably surpassed current predictions on that score.
 At a good many plants 1t would now seem that output is back to level of ap- proximately GO per cent of capacity, while the movement of steel products has been very satisfactory. The appearance of rail embar- goes during the past week may interfere with this progress for short time, but is not likely to be permanent factor.
 "A favorable tonnage report indicating un- filled orders of nearly 6,000,000 tons for the United States Steel Corporation fully 100,- 900 tons better than the market had been led to suppose, and shows the underlying strength of demand in great many basic industries.
 "Talk of shutting down factories for want of fuel has largely disappeared, and there IS a very decided shortage in nearly every line of industry. Upward tendencies in prices con- tinue, and it may be expected that price in- dexes for the rest of the month will tend toward higher levels."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-09-18
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
 AND ELSEWHERE
RECOUNT IS HARD JOB

q have had several jobs during my polit- ical career, but the most work I have found yet has been connected with the recount of the ballots cast in the legislative race for Ben ners, Howze and Jeter," said Bob Allison, member of the county executive committee, who was designated to help make the recount.
 My job has been to call the names while somebody else did the tallying, and have dis covered an unusually large number of single shots. We have counted 143 boxes to date, and with two shifts working Monday we expect to finish the job. By calling off the names, Jeter 1, Howze T. etc., have about come to the conclusion that 1 would make a good auctoneer. The job takes leather lungs, all right.n
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-09-18
WHAT IS HUMOR?

New York Correspondence Pittsburg Dispatch.
 Three noted humorists describe what Amer ican hun1or really is. George M. Conan seems to have the right idea when he says it is "a sixth sense." He believes in that good old style of jollying and keeping the other fellow smiling.
 Raymond Hitchcock says, "Ain't none,' while Burgess says, ''1t changes with seasons"
 What is humor? What does it mean to you? What of the American sense of humor? etc.
 These issues have been discussed recently by three eminent American humorists- George M. Cohan, Raymond Hitchcock and Gelett Burgess. Their comments are worthy of repetition.
 "Humor is the sixth sense" declares George M. Conan. "A sense of humor is derful thing. It is everything. The one goal of every human being is to attain happiness. Whether the ends sought the gaining of riches, position, achievement or any particu- lar success, the goal is never reached without the saving grace of humor. It softens the hard hearts, keeps sympathy alive, smootns the rough road, makes easy the hard task It places happiness within the reach of every hu- being We must continue giving smile and kind word to every man and always leave them laughing when we say good-by."
 There aint no American humor"
 Raymond Hitchcock now has the floor.
 "And if this be treason, make the most of it." he declared. Americans have sense of humor, only sense of fun. A joke has got to be physical, not mental, for them to get it. Our humor is the pie-in-the-face kind, slap stick stuff.
 Of course" he amended, .'we do have a small repertoire of stock stories, some that Cain used to spring on Abel, that we dust off every year and dish out to the public. They like them because they've heard them so often they under stand them. So far as Americans are concerned a joke is like wine; it has to be aged to be appreciated.
 "When you tell story to an American audience you have to keep in mind that ther average vocabulary is about 500 words, ir1- cluding papa, mamma, yes, no, prohibition, say, listen and atta-boy. In fact, our vocabulary has decreased in these post-Volstead days, many words becoming obsolete, such as high ball, have another, don't care if I do, and stewed."
 Which treats humor from the humorous side.
 "Real humor must be founded on the veri- ties of life," declares Gelett Burgess, popular authoE .tIt has overtones of tragedy. The truth may be expressed in all forms, including the comic. There is a difference between be- ing comic and being funny. The style in humor changes with the seasons One may be screamingly funny one year and hailed as roaring humorist. The next season he IS out of date and his stuff falls very, very flat. It is dangerous being funny"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-09-18
PEACE FORCES TO MAINTAIN
 CONTINUOUS CONTACT

One the principle that what is worth doing at all is worth doing well, the Law Observ- ance and Enforcement league acted wisely in appointing two committees to maintain contact between the league and the local authorities. One committee will keep in touch with Com missioner Cloe, head of the law and order forces of the city, and the other with Sheriff ,Hartsfierd, who is the county's chief peace officer.
 The committees are small enough to be efficient and should be of much assistance to Messrs. Cloe and Hartsfield in a-matter which has required the joint action of officials and citizens.
 Many community movements of this nature die in their incipiency through failure to maintain close relations between the parties whose duty it is to carry on the campaign un- til results are forthcoming. Cooperation be- tween the official and unofficial forces of the community engaged in this law observance campaign will accomplish more than could be done without well-arranged and continuous team work
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-09-18
ToREADoR TROUSERS

From the PlttSDurg DlSpatcn.
 New York, 1t seems, had to wait for the National Clothiers' association convention to hear of the new style in trousers, beled at the bottom, slit, laced, buttoned or braided, known as the ''toreador" pattern. Ten days ago the Tattler reported specimen on a Pittsburg street car and others have been observed at Swissvale and Carnegie. If this be progress Pittsburg promoted it first.
 The .toreador' pants are said to have come, like Young Lochinvar, out of the west. High school boys and college students near the California movie district picked them up, probably from Valentines Ibanez hero. But they are an old story in Mexico and in Lon- don the Whitechapel costermonger has been wearing 'em slitted, braided and buttoned for half century.
 The question is, how far will they go. Youths and young men may try them, but the older male generation vows they will stop there. But wasn't this what the women said when the youthful flappers began shortening their skirts? And everybody knows what happened. Will the men be better able to resist the slogan of "Everybody's wearing 'em?"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-09-18
PRESIDENT HARDING EXPECTED
 TO VETO THE BONUS BILL

From all indications, the patched-up bonus bill will be promptly vetoed by President Harding. He is expected to express his dis approval Tuesday. In that event an attempt will be made to override the presidential veto. It is thought that such action would be easy in the House, but in the Senate the result is uncertain. At present there are apparently two more votes than the necessary number to prevent the bill from becoming law This margin may be increased, since it is unlikely that MT. Harding would send the bill back to Congress bearing his veto until he was req sonably sure that it could not pass the Senate
 The bonus bill in its present form is open to many objections. It would be of doubtful benefit to ex-service men and would impose . heavy financial burden on the country, which Is already overtaxed.
 But whether or not the bonus bill is passed over the Presidents sveto, 1t has served the purpose of politicians in Congress who felt their jobs insecure unless they did something for our voting war veterans. They may now go on the stump and say they did the best they could. Members of Congress who op- posed the measure showed the courage of their convictions and have not lost prestige by do- ing so.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-09-18
FUNERAL OF A NEGRO MINISTER

From the Arkansas Gazette
 The body of a former slave was buried yesterday at Helena and the business houses of that city were closed during the funeral hour to show the respect of the people, white and black, for this man who had forged ahead and in doing so had helped forward thousands of his race. The ex-slave was the Rev. Elias Camp Morris, head of the National Baptist convention and for 43 years pastor of Centennial Baptist church at Helena.
 The negro leader put common sense as well as earnestness into his work. He knew the negro and he knew the white man. Because the white people knew he was earnest and honest they gave him their support and when he died they paid him a most unusual honor.
 Will any of the northern and eastern news papers and magazines that slandered Helena and Phillips county after the Elaine uprising direct attention to the funeral of the Rev. E. c. Morris and the action of the white peo- pie of Helena with reference to that funeralf
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-09-18
Romance, Says Novelist
 Will Not Pass Away
From the Montgome 7 A..a..l.a..

From the Montgomt y Advertiser
 The world has not suddenly become the ex- elusive depository for vi.sIuin5, alck, mortar, motors and chemical tabolaloriss Materialism has not overcome sentiment ia every sector. Men can still res2oad so she 4ppeal of lilt- ing phrases, golde voices, stty hair and dimpled arms. Na1 love- md doing so give shelter and comfort to foolish thoughts and faneies, Men conjure up strange and beauti- ful pictures in their extraordinary vision of things, vision from which the figure of woman is never long excluded.
 The average man may live drab and un- eventful existence, but that is not saying that he does not think of nobler exploits and TO- mantle achievements. That is not saying that he does not like to read about sentimental journeys and magnificent adventures. Man is as romantic as woman; both are one in gratitude to the craftsman who can take the prosaic elements that go to make life and in- vest them with ineffable charm.
 War and science and utilitarlan marriages have not killed romance. We are vigorously supported in this by no less an authority than Laura Jean Lbbey, who makes balm for the multtudes heart, the woman who has grown wealthy by writing sentimental stuff"
 Marriage a failure? Love changed? Ro- nance on the wane? Nonesensev' excams the sweet mamma of the fiction fans of 20 years ago. The author of Parted at the Altar" "Lovers Then But Strangers Now,' and "When His Love Grew Cold" goes on to say,
 ''No matter what people say, romance will never pass away. We need it too much. It will always be the same. It is the one thing in the hearts of men and women which will never change--that little silver thread of TO- nance that draws two hearts together.
 "They may scoff at romance They may talk of being modern if they like-but haven't you noticed that even the modern ones express themselves in pretty much the same way that our mothers and fathers did when they fell in love? Even very important and learned people?
 "You see we believe in romance almost In spite of ourselves. You may perhaps know that giving advice to the loveorn is not my prin- cipal occupation.
 .I am a novelist and, as all good novelists should, try to please and interest my public. But do you know, my public simply insists on romance, and romance with happy endingf They don't care whether the ending is true to life or not
 "Why are there so many unhappy mar riages now?" the lady was asked, and she re- piled sensibly:
 'There are more happy marriages than un- happy ones. The reason that we think of the unhappy ones is just because they are the rare cases, the stories that are played up in the news because they are usual Most married couples live along very happily together"-not renian- tically we might add, but prosaically, sanely and efficiently. Nevertheless, they still find delight in romantic suggestions, whether these come from song, or story, or stage. That isl why successful romanticsts grow abominablyl rich.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-09-18
THERE WAS AN EARLIER DAY
on the Mobile Register,


 Birmingham is. young and boasts of few traditions. It is rather proud of it's energy, even though some of it may be misdirected. Birmingham lives in the present, not the past, and builds for the future. It has differ ent atmosphere from most of the southern cities that date back to the Civil war, or an earlier period With all due respect for the fine old customs of the past, they lacked some of the progressiveness that is indspen- sable nowadays for the south's proper de- velopment.-B Birmingham Age-Herald
 There is no quarrel with the spirit of>youth and progress, but let it not be too boastfui at the expense of the elderly and morescon- servatve. Remember that. in the critical days when Birmingham was a baby, trying to learn to walk, Mobile enterprise and investment lent the first helping hand.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-09-18
A BISMARCK ANEcDoTE

From the Living Age.
 Dean Inge relates the following anecdose of the Iron Chancellor, which, if true, will be considered by many to afford new evidence of the uncanny prescience of that "most inspired of all statesmen" According to the dean, Bismarck once said, in later life, that if Ger many won another war, he would see to It that the victor, under the peace treaty, handed over a large indemnity to the van quished Germany's social and economic diff faculties after the fictitious prosperity brought her by the French indemnity may well have inspired some such impatient ejaculation from the saturnine, sarcastic statesman.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-09-18
POINTED PARAGRAPHS

From the Chicago News.
 One delights to meet man who is well bred.
 Men fight with their fists; women fight with their tears.
 It is better to start right than to retrace your steps.
 One may sell shoestrings and buttons ana still be man.
 When we call a man a brick we do not mean that he is made of common clay.
 Considering the ;.noyances of life, patient man or woman is entitled to a great deal of credit
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-09-18

tation service Is capable of keeping important industries in operation when there is car shortage. is it not worth while as it stands, and is 1t not worth making of further and greater service? It is.
 Out of every adverse circumstance of hu- man affairsea sound lesson comes. Birming- ham during the car shortage glimpsed the Warriors wonderful capacity to serve.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-09-18
KENsINGToN GARDENS
Humbert Wolfe, in the Chapbook.
 -Thrushes

Humbert Wolfe, in the Chapbook.
 Thrushes
 The City Financier walks in the Gardens stiffly because of his pride and his burdens. The daisies looking up observe
 only self respecting, curve. The thrushes only see flat table-land
 of shiny hat.
 He looks importantly about him,
 while the spring goes on without him.
 The Blackbird In the far corner close by the swings every morning a blackbird sings. His bin's so yellow his coats so black that he makes fellow whistle back. 
 Ann my daughter thinks that he sings for us two especially.
 The Albert Memorial In his heavy
 monument
 Good Prince Albert sits all bent.
 Even death
 could not assuage the burden of his golden cage. The. Tramps The tramps slink- in at half-past four in the sweet summer weather, end stretch upon the grass and snore all together. They look like litter on the grass and not like sleeping mon that life-the feastor-dropped and has not tidied up again.
Evening star., 1922-05-27

War gas after-efkects. which had been
greatly feared by veterans Of the world
war. have been found by the Veterans
Bureau after a long and careful
study" to. produce no greater percent-
age Of disability ethan should occur
from any Of the acute respiratory dis
eases OF ordinary types"
Col. Robert U. Patterson, assistant
director in charge of the medical diyi-
sion, today made public the findings Of
the division. Leading medical men in
this country and in Europe were inter-
roga ted" said Col Patterson, 'as well
as the commanding officers Of govern
ment hospitals where former ex-sol-
diers are receiving treatment and re-
Queshed to express their opinions"
Misinformation Reported.
Conclusions of the investiga ton are a
contradiction Of much public ''misinfor-
nation" 1t was said in a statement
from the bureau. and especially contra
diets widespread rumor that "veter-
ans who were exposed to war gas are
now losing their voices"
IT has become popular" said Col.
Patterson. ito assume that gassing In
service Is the underlying cause for the
malfunctioning Of almost every organ in
the body since the world war"
Briefly. the conclusions from the ex-
hausttye inquiry by, the Veterans Bu-
reau as stated by Col Patterson were:
Evening star., 1922-05-27

Tho first formidable British
warship to come within gun range
OF the American Capitol and
White House since those famous
buildings were burned by the red
coats of Gen. Ross and the blue
Jackets Of Admiral Cockburn in
1914. is due in the Potomac river
tomorrow, when Vice Admiral Sir
William Christopher Pakenham,
K. C. B.. K. c. NJ. G.. K c. v. O..
NV. O.. C. B., arrives aboard
H. NJ. s. Raleigh with his thtee-
starred flag flying at the main
truck.
Admiral Pakenham is comman-
der-in- chief of the North America
and West Indies station OF the
British navy. and his visit TO
Washington Will be one of q num-
Der of calls OF courtesy at Amer
lean ports. A number Of functions
are being arranged in his honor
by the British embassy stan.
Not Touched By Naval Treaty.
During the world war the British
flag fioated in the Potomac from
q converted British yacht. The
Raleigh. however. is the first full
. fsdged British man-of-war to
come to Washington. 1t IL said.
since the days Of the second war
with England. Tho Raleigh Is
swift scout cruiser of about $500
tons. She Is one of the class OF
al hv
ington treaty on naval limitations.
The United States has no such
cruiser in its fleets, but ten are
building. The American vessels
will be a bit more formidable than
the Raleigh, for they will register
10000 tons and will carry in
creased armament in proportion.
The British navy probably has be-
tween sixty and seventy such
cruisers now scattered all over the
world, and more building.
Admiral Pakenham's flagship Is
q sort of Hlorified torpedo boat de-
stroyer. She has the slim lines
and the high prows of the Do
stroyer and the speed as well.
making something like twenty
eight knots an hour. The Raleigh
belongs to the class of vessels
known as the eyes Of the fleet.
stroyers and has the advantage Of
being able to hold the seas in
weather which would compel q
destroyer to steam at half speed.
Raleigh Type Not Needed.
As an Offset to the British ships
of the Raleigh class American
naval officers made an effort to
convince Congress Of the necessity
Of keeping virtually all of the
United States destroyers in COM
mission. Members Of the naval
committees pointed out that this
plan would enable America to
outnumber Britain AND France in
destroyers. In this calculation,
however, no heed was taken of the
Raleigh type Of British cruiser. of
which the United States at present
Evening star., 1922-05-27

lery, at Camp Brsgg. N. c.. and Capts.
John II. Ball, Frederic H Thinner
man. Waldo e. Ard and Stewart
Jackson. field artillery, at Fort Sill,
Evening star., 1922-05-27
Var Gas After-E11ects Found
Not Unusual BY u. S. Scientists

Il. From evidence thus far OBJ
tainable 1t 10 the consensus Of opinion
Of medical men that there b no greater
percentage OF disability following
gassing than should occur 1rcm any
Of tho acute respiratory diseases OF
ordinary type.
Little Troubles From Gas.
80 Az to the Occurrences Of
respiratory troubles resulting from
ey lpsare to- gases. there is little
evidence to show that gas played q
conspicuous role in this connection,
and it is doubtful II the incidence Of
these diseases among ex-soldterG To
really greater than among those who
were not Gassed.
20 That gas znieht, IN some cases,
be rated ~ q contributory cause to-
ward q lowering Of vitality. together
with camp life, exposure. military
stress and other. known factors.
-. Those who develop respira-
tory troubles at this late date since
their discharge have no basis for
claims that their disabilities were the
result of their war experience. Such
disabilities would probably have de-
veloped IL they had never been in the
service at all. II q year or SO elapses
from the time OF gassing until symp-
toms develop, II is quite probable e
that gas had nothing to do with the
matter, provided that the lungs Of
such claimants were clear at time OF
discharge"
Evening star., 1922-05-27

Okla, have been ordered TO Camp
Meade, Nd, for temporary duty IN
connection with summer training
camps.