East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1922-04-27
OFFICE BURLESQUE
BLOW TO- MOEOONY

LONDON. April 27,-Anxious about
the results of the mohotons and dull
ness of London commerciar offices, a
, society is being formed with the in
tention Of frightening the existence
of these dark places 50 far as may be
! possible.
I 1t is pointed out that hundreds of
/ thousands Of people live the greater
l part of their lives in the dingy insti-
tntions known as offices and that tho
atmosphere therein must have its eff
feet on their dispositions when else
where. Anything. therefore. than can.
help to make offices places of de-
flight must be for the good of the COM
Il munity at large.
The first great attack is to be made
|, on the monotonous tapping type
writer. II is suggested that, wher-
ever possible. musical typewriters
should be installed forthwith and that
stenOgraphers should be instructed in
the art of playing their correspond
ence to airs that might be deemed ap-
Appropriate. ~
Invoices, it is pointed out. might be
/ typed on an appealing note, pianissi-
mo and long drown out, while receipts
might be rattled off to bright music
a from the latest revue. Personal let
ters dictated b ythe heads of firms
should be switched on to music of the
latest amorOus ballad, and replies to
dmands for quickr service should be
written to the music of a mediaeval
minuCt.
Whistling Classes for Office Boys
Iii A certain amount of attention, also,
should be devoted to the better mu-
steal education of the office boy.
Whistling classes should be arranged
for them every morning, and COM
petent stiffleurs should be engaged to
make certain that no hidden talent
N this direction should llie unused.
1t is matter of common knowl-
1dge that great talent in the direc-
ion of whistling is either wasted or
nnusued in the case of the office boy.
Any latent genius of this character
should not be allowed to be hidden
for less suppressed-among- this i'm
portant section of the community, and
for the benefit of all any talent of
this kind should be gicen the high
est and most sympathetic encourage
ment. M
The services of a cartoonist might
also be usefully employed. He might
give instruction on the best way to
Il enliven the margins of the firms ac-
count hooks and letterheads with
IN humorous caricatures of the various
members of the staff. 1t is also sug-
sested that he might do funny
black-and-whit drawing of the boss
to be pasted on the safe for the edifi-
cation of all.
jokes for Phone Walters
Again, demands for payment might
be made out on a special paper, with
a picture of the firms lawyer, armed
to the thecth, standing out firmly
,eainst a cloudy background and sug.
sesting the ultimate fate of the de.
faulting debtor.
Telephone operators, Also might
help in this Frightening process. The,
might be taught either to tell funny
jokes to waiting subscribers or to en-.
gage them in polite and improving
conversation. fa P9is,t,est ~
For instance: so sorry your line
Is busy, says the operator, but have
you read Broken Windows?" @'>s%
Who is it by?" asks the subscriber
Eva Brick" is the reply.
An office run on these lines should
De bright, snappy, enterprising. and
4 efficient.