Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1922-05-05
SELF ADVERTISING.
Writer Says It Is Great Game That
Everybody Plays.

Why does hen cross the road? No
body knows, and nobody cares. Why
does a hen cackle? All, there's some
sense to that. She cackles to advertise
the fact that she has just laid an egg
writes Roy K. Moulton in the New
York World.
Why does one Bronx undertaken add
to his card, TRY my undertaking and
you will never have any other?" Why
do actresses kill Jack Dempsey? Why
does a movie star ride in pink limou-
sine? Why does Billy Sunday use
slang? Why does Edison ask ques-
tions? What for, or why for, If not for
advertising? "E{ot toweii," as Or
Brander Matthews might say. '"Ain't
it the TRUTH
have met many geniuses and l new
er met one who didn't have a few rath-
err noticeable eccentricities. one OF
them couldn't concentrate and write a
line unless a phonograph was playing
There is painter who can't sleep un-
less there is a blue light burning in his
room. One actress becomes a klepto-
maniac as soon as she eats dill pickles.
One of the thousand or more writer's of
melancholy bunk about scrappy mar
ried life cannot do a stroke Of work
unless there is incense in the room.
Anybody can do his own advertising
who can think up an eccentricity. II
one eccentricity doesn't seem TO bring
home the bacon one can always try an
other.
know of one old lawyer who always
wears a broad black ribbon attached
to his gold eyeglasses. The ribbon and
the ribbon alone causes fifty people ev-
cry day to ask who he is. If it were
not for that ribbon he wouldn't be any
body in particular.
I know another man in the same
profession who always hauls out an
old horn snuffbox, taps it with -four
ish on his left hand, looks around to
make sure somebody is watching him,
then raises the left hand to his nose
and shifts loudly, then gives a salts
fed sigh and returns the snuffbox to
his vest pocket. The performance is
always the same and there hasn't been
grain of snuff in that snuffbox since
he has owned it. If that old boy ever
took as much snuff as he pretends to
take he would sneeze the roof off the
courthouse several times a day. But
somebody invariably asks who the
gentleman is who takes snuff.
All Of which comes under the head
of advertising.
Methods of personal advertising are
varied and often clever. The fellow
who hires q dress suit is starting at
the bottom Of the ladder. Gradually
he will work up to the highest degrees
of the order. He may even get job
in a barbershop at Palm Peach so as
to get the requisite number Of picture
postcards back home Common forms
OF advertising are:
Reading highbrow literature in the
street car.
Driving a motor car and beating the
grocer and butcher.
Having oneself PACED in fashionable
hotels.
Getting Immediately in front Of cam
eras at banquets.
Speaking in loud tones Of prominent
people one has never met.
Using stationery of widely known
hotels.
Writing testimonials for patent med
icines.
Having a coat sent home for approv-
al and wearing it to the opera.
What's the use in trying to enumer-
ate or in trying to attach any blame to
anybody? We are all guilty. If we
don't advertise one way we advertise
another.
Occasionally we may think there are
people who are above the advertising
habit, but usually they are not.