davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1922-04-01
"I am monarch of all I survey"
WHO COULD FORGET

l have been giving your articles about farming quite some considera- tfon. I do believe that there are a lot of discontented city dwellers, myself Included, who would welcome a life on the farm. but not having any practical knowledge necessary for a farmer am afraid to make a mess of things. l am mechanic by trade. have saved a, little money and know of a good farm bargain. Would you think 1t wise for me to take it on? l am married, have boy of and a girl of s, also a baby boy. I worked one year on 8 farm in England as a boy and have mot forgot the open life There are many fixed very much like me.
 Answer - suppose. good friend, you have seen the comic opera, ''The Mikado," in which the son of that potentate-unwillfng to marry a lady of quite a lot of summers. as com manded by his father-disguises him. seN Joy Joining a Tokio street band. During its perigrinations he meets Yurn-Yum, young lady of whom he Is exceedingly and very naturally namoured, and whom he begs to as sure that in reality he is not a trom- bone player. therefore she answered "1 knew that directly-I heard you play"
 Similarly, anybody who reads my writing about farms realizes that I am, Of course, not a practical farmer and can answer your letter only from the standpoint of a doctor anxious to see the sick, who need it derive the benefits of the country life. I say, by all means, buy the farm, and own your own 1andl Just think of it as being yours and that of your children after you. You are a mechanic and are used to husky life; been on a
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1922-04-01

am very much worried. Please tell me what to do. F. A. l.. It is impossible to keep from show ing love. If you find 1t necessary to see the teacher every day and can find no way of escape, conquer your feelings and show by no sign ort word how you feel toward the lady,
 
 fMartha": I am not sending you a personal reply because you did not send a stamped and addressed enveI- ope.
 If the trouble with your nose is caused by bone trouble. it can be corrected by an operation. If, how ever you object to natures way of forming it. give up all thought of changing if. and stop worrying. Most of have to go through life with features we think could be improved upon.
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1922-04-01
A Poet Worth While

Dear Roy:-A medicine man trav- cling the Southwest used to com- pose and recite a short poem contain ing the name of every purchaser of his wonderful lotion as an induce ment to buy A man in the crowd one day offered to buy $5 worth if his name could be put in rhyme. He proclaimed his name to be Hum phrey. Here's what the faker snap ped back:
 This lotion is a dollar a bottle,
 But to you, MT. Humphrey, The price will be six bottles for five, And so you are getting some free"
 And he bought-Hop.
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1922-04-01
 5 HEAR E Iao FEHHSS>9SrGE S>S Te2S 2SBLEFGSS2l

Dear Mrs. Thompson: I ann deeply in love with a boy I have known for a long time, but with whom I had never been out until lately I met | him at a, party and he asked to take | me home.
 On our way home he asked what day would be convenient for me 10 l go out with him and l wasn't so well posted and so told him to call me IT'D. Of course he said he would. Finally we reached our destination and he asked whether he could kiss mo .,ood-nig'ht. but I said, "No, sir! etc.
 I really didn't think it proper for him to 'try to kiss me, as that WAS tl& first time he brought me home Now I don't think he loves me any more and expect he will never call me up.
 Please tell me whether was right in not letting him kiss me?
 Should I call him up if he wont! I love him dearly.
 MISS F'RIvOLITY.
 You were absolutely right in not letting the young man kiss you. IT he is disappointed because you would not, and does not phone you Tor another date, don't worry about IL because it will show the type of young man he is. Any young man Who would want to go with you because you would kiss him and for no other reason would be unworthy of~you. Do not call him. In time some one else will enter your life and you will find yourself even more deeply in love.
 Dear Mrs. Thompson: I am young lady just in my twenties and have been going with a young Yellow almost three years and We are en- gagged. He is a good worker and is saving his money so that we can have a home some day. He is about three years younger than I an- Do you think there is too much difference in our ages. He says he doesn't care for the difference, and I feel the same way about 1t, for I think if we really love each other enough we will have a happy home. He has actions and looks older than he is.
 Would you advise me to go in and stay with his folks until we could | have a home of our own. or just wait | until we can? Please advise me. PEGGY. Three years is not too great a diff ference in your ages. My advise is to wait until your hance can Drovide | g. home for you. It would be decid- edly unwise to marry now and to try | Hv1ng with his people The happi- l ness of a lifetime would hang in the balance and it would be too great a | risk.
 1 Dear Edrs. Thompson: I have been | married over Q year and find that I am in love with q school teacher 1 whom went with before my mar i riage. I fear that several people sus- pect this and do not want my wife | to know it. have tried not to love this teacher. but find that as sec her every day this is impossible.
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1922-04-01

Boston Cellar-brates
 Laborers wrecking an old studio building in Boston unwalled cellar stocked with wine and whiskey, pre- sumably the property of a noted clubman who died thirty years ago. A rush for jobs as house-wreckers followed, but the majority of them will get "wall-eyed'' digging away at the mortar before they become "Plas- tered" This discovery in the walls of forgotten wine cellar sounds like the foundation of an awful souse.
 It's almost I5O years since Boston got teG-ed up.
 No Blue Ribbon Dog
 A Huntington, W. Va, man, Der nard Staley, has a rat terrier who dug up two buried caches of hootch within forty-eight hours. He, has a nose for booze and scents the bottle from afar.
 It just goes to shouc schdt q digging dog can do in q bone dry search Hence, a Dry Dock
 Dock workers in London led oil the boycott of beer declared by the National Transport Workers Feeder ation as a protest against the threat to reduce wages of brewery workers while still keeping up the price of drink. This turned many commer- cial wharf into dry dock
 Of course, the heoUy IGborers found tt easier than clerks to abstain from their beer,-ot least, they didn't need the tall, zchits "coILdr."
 Pigs is Pigheaded
 Because there is so much mash and other home brew and home distilling refuse mixed in the garbage of Fitch burg, Mass, the pigs refuse to eat the refuse, the garbage contractors report. These contractors want the city to order householders to separate their ordinary garbage from their brew leavings.
 Odd, rcheD szrins are 70 much more fussy than drinkers, tn land rhere liquor and beer once rcds consuused by ths hogs head
 Extra Dry Note
 When the newest theatre in New York was christened recentlys the owners wife broke a bottle of real champagne over it's 'fbow," thereby causing real pain to the thirsty be- holders.
 Any one of the actors Prssent glad ly zponld haus furnished the bon.
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1922-04-01
DINNER STORIES

The very inuquisitive young man stopped his friend. the professor. one afternoon.
 Professor Diggs, have you ever discovered a. buried cfty?'
 "Oh. yes.''
 And what do you chiefly en5oy about that kind of work?'
 Well. for one thing, when you m. earth a city that has been buried for don't have to listen to the rerninis- cences oe the oldest inhabitant.'
 Look here, Sancho Panza," ex- claimed Don Quixote. "you have a most irritating way of giving my idealisms to fiat. unpoetica1 inter pretation.'
 T have tried to serve you faith fully"
 That's all right. But there's one thing you must promise me Don't you ever attempt to write my bfog- raphy."
 Bobby had prayed for a little brother and was very much disap- pointed when a sister came instead. but the nurse explained there were four babies born in the hospital that day. and they were all boys. The next day he was somewhat reconciIed, and asked the nurse:
 Well. how are they running to- day?"
 The young golfer, a hopeless nov ice, possessed good intentions. His first job after joining a golf club wal not to study the game, but to studr the club rules He was stickler fc obedience.
 He went round the course alor at first. having no desire to worry h friends with his bad play, When last they saw him returning the were surprised to find that he w. wheeling big w1eelbarrow-
 ''What earth have you go there?" they asked.
 sTurr." replied the novice. rr going to replace if.
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1922-04-01
] []HE}[ealtdhl Talks 5 By John B. Huber AM.MD .A
Huber AM,M.D
ns1szn .szzzzass

farm. You. a Britisher, and I read T am afraid'-My word, what's com- ing over us-an Englishman afraidi
 Write to the Canadian governne ent Department of Agriculture at Ottawa for information about farming and you will get reams of the correct stuff. Pretty nearly time for the spring But first investigate the whole situa- Butf rst investigate the whole situa- ton thoroughly. You must not fail. Similarly you must not expect you can, a few years hence, drop down to New York on a vacation and push MT. Morgan off the Wall Street curb. But you will have to work, you and yours. And the szrm won't make you rich. but it should keep you above want and give you health. Elm erson declared that Health is Wealth. And the kind of health you get on a farm is far above riches.
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1922-04-01

Boiled Fish-Tie fish in a piece of water. Add one tablespoon of vine gar and two teaspoonse salt. Cover pan and cook gently for 30 minutes or until fish is tender. Fifteen min utes of cooking for each pound of fish is usually enough. Remove fish from cloth. Place on a hot platter and pour egg sauce over it.
 Add two sliced hard boiled eggs to drawn butter sauce, made as fol- lows: Five tablespoons of butter or substitute, three tablespons flour, one and one-haIf cups hot water. one-half teaspoon salt, one-eighth teaspoon pepper.
 Melt one-half the butter, add flour and seasonings and pour on, gradu- ally, hot water. Boil five minutes and add remaining butter in small pieces. Serve with boiled or baked fish.
 Fish Flakes a la Newburg - One cup cold faked fish. one egg, three quarters tablespoon cornstarch, one and one-quarter cups milk, two ta- blespoons butter, salt, pepper. nut meg to season, toast, one tablespoon chopped parsley.
 Mix cornstarch with a little cold milk, add egg yolk and rest of the milk. Heat, stirring constantly un- til the mixture is thick and smooth,
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1922-04-01
5 I659IH9HzGz.EslHzE9ssLLpH1NV] II!! ] slzEssLL

add the fish and seasonings and cook for five minutes over hot water.
 Add butter a little at a time, mix thoroughly and serve very hot on thin slices of delicately Drowned toast.
 Dutch Apple Pudding - One pint flour, one-quarter cup butter, one cup milk (scant), two teaspoons baking powder, four sour apples, one-half teaspoon salt, two tablespoons sugar, one egg. Mix dry ingredients. Beat the egg, add milk, then stir into the dry mixture, Spread one-half inch thick in shallow baking pans. Core, pare and cut apples in eighths, and lay them in the dough, sprinkle with a little sugar. Bake in a hot oven 20 or 30 minutes. Serve with lemon sauce.
 :
 Lemon Sause-Boil two cups of hot water and one cup sugar five m1n- utes; add three teaspoons cornstarch wet in cold water, cook eight or ten minutes; add grated rind and juice of one lemon and one tablespoon butter. Stir until butter is melted and serve at once.
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1922-04-01
THE EDUCATED POLICEMAN

Policemen of many cities now must go through an extensive course or training before being accepted regu- larIy on the force-Editurial com- menJ. I'll study biology, Also psychology,
 Botany, syntaN and germs I'll brush up on Cato, Confucious and Plato,
 And speak but in classical terms. I'll soak up geology, Also pathology,
 No ones more willing than I. Tllslear infant feeding And follow good breeding,
 And science domestic I'll try. I'll be academic, Precise and abstemic
 Of knockabou out bawling or strike; And hear>-to my station Ae -e6smic relation A broad. teeming knowledge of
 life.
 I'll study the mystic Instead of the fstic.
 Hypnotic, mesmeric, I'll be. When I grab a collar, Twill be as a scholar
 And not as a lowbrow, you see In science and letters I'll be of the betters.
 And then, as a matter o course, I'll gargle some boraX And spray well my thorax
 And go get a job on the force.
 How much more quickly people notice a foreign substance in the city drinking water now than they did before Volstead. The presence of the harmless little synura, which is a member of the a1gae family. was noted iI1arr7eiiatRlV Soma neOOle Sav the water tastes like cucumbers, others have discovered the flavors of carrots, watermelon, garlic, Iinnbur- ger cheese, peanuts. asparagus or va nilla- It seem that the little synura is so versatile that a person can have almost any bouquet he desires.
 We have taken three or four drinks of water the past few days just to see what it tasted like, and
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1922-04-01
MENU HINT

MENU HINT
 Breakfast
 PruneS Fish Cakes Hard Rolls
 Coffee Luncheon or Supper Escalloped Eggs and Onion with Parsley Sauce -sp%ragus Salad or WiEed Lettuce < Chocolate Pudding
 Dinner Boiled Fish with Egg Sauce Riced Potatoes Lettuce, Onion and Radish Salad Dutch Apple Pudding
 Coffee
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1922-04-01
 ISIN Lz@ SPUR 2z lMfGSyyEe16lEElNT { Sye IS

to us there was nothing startling It semed to be the same old fiat liquid ie always has been. There never was get excited about.
 But there may be something in the synura theory. The other night at a dinner party we got hold of what we supposed was a glass of plain water.and it tasted exactly like-wel, never mind.
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1922-04-01
Fowl Tactics

Fowl IdcdcS
 Suburbanite: Thanks for that. man, but you ought to bawf out the dealer. The crate was SO fral that: they all go out when I was getting 'em at the station and had to SCOUT. the neighborhood for 'em- Even then,i only caught ten"
 City Friend: -SshI only sent sn-p
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1922-04-01
Bargain Hunting

od1 kduu 1A11I1i8
 Mrs. Newcoin: I want you to teach my son 8 foreign language"
 Language Teacher: Would you; like Polish, Jugoslavonian, Armenian,I Czechoslovakian or, perhaps, even Arabics"
 Mrs. Newcoin: (Which is the most foreignf"
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1922-04-01

Subtraction Is Distraction
 Teacher: "In subtracting, you must take things from things of the same denomination. You can't take three apples from four peaches, or two marbles from nine buttons, or any thing like that"
 Silas: Teacher, couldn't you take three quarts of milk from four cows?"
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1922-04-01
E .:.:::;:::::::.:.::...

Left to right, top: The former Alice Drexel Fiddle, Julia French. Juliet Breitung; below, Edith Rockefeller Mccormick and her daughters, Mathilde and Muriel
 Domestic tragedies which fol- lowed society's "hi-lo" rornances of the past do not worry sixteen year-old Mathilde Mccormick, daughter of the harvester king and granddaughter of John D.
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1922-04-01
Tomorrow-The Inevitable.

All inquiries addressed to pr. Huber in care of the Health Talks deartment will be answered in these columns in their turn. This requires considerable time. however, owing to the great number received. So if personal or quicker reply is desired, a stamped and self-addressed envelope must be enclosed with the question: The Editor.
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1922-04-01
QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS.
 Probably All Right.

Would you please tell me if there Is anything wrong when one can hear ones heart beat? I can hear mine when I lay down. I am a young girl and l love athletics. I swim. dive, play tennis and basketball, bowling, indoor baseball and love gym work.
 Answer-Proba.bly all right. but it would be the art of wisdom to get a gymnasium doctor to examine your heart. Why not join the Y. W. c. A. or the Y. w. H. A?
 ECItlCI.IQ1.a-yIIaea IrnA1rftahIa
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1922-04-01

Spoke spoke wisely. The over confidence held ever from the pennant-winning days of 1920 hurt the team last year. Then. when the race frightened, the team, knowing that the fans ex-
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1922-04-01
To Make You
 Smile

Point Well Taken
 Angry Subway User (climbing stairs): "Hey, be careful You stuck the point of your umbrella in my eve"
 Cheerful Bimbo: sfNot mine, old kid. This is a borrowed umbrella" Strange Coincidence
 Lawyer: ~So you want me to de- fend you, Rastus? Got any money2"
 Rastus: 'fNo suh, but ah got me 8 mule and g few chickens and d hawg."
 Lawyer: "An right. Let's see. What Ire you accused of stealing2"
 Rastus: 'Oh, a mule, a few chick ems and a hawg."
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1922-04-01

To clean mirrors rub mirror with ball of soft paper slightly dampen- ed with denatured alcohol, then with a duster on which a little whiting has been sprink1ed and finally polish with clean paper. This treatment will make the glass beautifully bright.
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1922-04-01
Followed by Silence

Followed by Silence
 Exasperated Father: t~What boy you are for asking questions. I'd like to know what would have hap pened if I'd asked as many ques- tions when I was your age-'
 Young Hopeful: Maybe you'd have been able to answer some of mine"
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1922-04-01
Suggestions

To remove white spots from table, etc, mix alcohol. olive oil and pure cider vinegar in equal parts; shake well before using Rub well with wooden cloth and pollsh with another soft woolen cloth.
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1922-04-01

Stained floors need scarcely ever be touched with a wet cloth if they are rubbed over every day with a brush over which a parafin rag has been tied.
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1922-04-01
Consecrated Ground

Consecrated Ground In that seQuestered glade where Phil-
 omena sings, And Genius fans the ashes with his
 glowing wings, And Erato recHnes in Sylvan's loving
 arms, And waters cease to flow Beauty laves
 her charms There Poesy delights all seasons
 round to dwell, Weaving her dreams with moonrays
 till it cast her spell, Fred erick Schenck SchIesin-er
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1922-04-01

Illinois Central conductors will not be allowed to wear their wives pie lures on their watch crystals any more. but the wives will doubtless be on the watch just the same.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1922-06-15
AdOice TO Girls
81 ANNfE LAURIE
ANNIE LAURIE:

DEAR ANNIE LAURIE:
am a girl of is years Of age.
am engaged 10 a young man p years
old He makes a great deal Of me,
and always speaks highly OF me TO
every one. He talks occasionally OF
a girl he loved in his old home town.
Please tell me what you think Of
this young man. He still has pic
lures Of this girl he loved
am afraid that after, we are mar
RED ne may want to SO to this girl.
o. D D
o. d. D.: What the young man
did or whom he loved before ne be-
came enga ged TO YOU has nothing
10 do with you my dear. You should
put all such thoughts out OF your
head. He has proved 70 you that
he loves you by asking you to be
his wife
Be happy and forget the past
Your future is the thing for you to
consider Don't mar # by anything
which really does not concern you.
Be happy. and think how much hap
pier you are going to be when
you're married What difference 90
few photographs make? You
should be bigger and more wom-
anly. than to give such things even
a thought.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1922-06-15
AlHgsQ!MQC::.RE eTllS

The Woman's Home Missionary
society of the First VI. z. church
viii meet Thursday afternoon at the
church parlors Mrs S. ]. Clark
viii have charge of the program.
The Shuppert reunion will take
place next Wednesday at Potawatomi
park
The Helena Rebekah Sewing cir
Gle will meet this afternoon at
their hall. The hostesses will in
clude Mrs. Anna Aslin, Mrs. Mary
Deluse and Mrs. Anna Wenrick
The Aurora Bible class of tho
Sunnyside Presbyterian church will
meet this evening in the church
parlOrs. The hostesses will be Mrs.
Z. J. Kroner, Mrs. J. lands. Mrs
+. Lazerus and Mrs. NJ. Leighty.
The women of the Clay Commun-
ity church will meet this after
noon with Mrs. W. B. Guy, at Rose
land. All women Of the community
are invited.
The Women's Sewing circle of the
Zion Evangelical church will meet
at the parish hall this after
noon. The hostesses include Mrs.
@ ROckstroh. Mrs J. kuespert ana
Mrs. +. Kuespert
The members of the Christian En-
deavor society Of the First Christian
church will give an entertainment
at the church this evening 10
raise funds 20 finance the State
Convention which Will be held at the
church from June 20 to 25. The
program Will be given by DIR. and
Mrs. A Stertzback. Miss Lulu Wag-
ner, Miss Virginia Roberts Miss
Helen Beatty. Miss Bessie Hogue,
the Misses Dorm and Francis Mes
SICK
The Kings Daughters Bible class OF
the First Evangelical church will
meet this evening at Potawa-
toni park for a pot luck supper.
The class of 1921 OF St. Joseph's
academy viii entertain the members
Of the class Of 1922 Of ST. Joseph'c
acamedy. this evening with a
theater party 10 be followed with
supper in the Gold room OF the
I oliver hotel.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1922-06-15
Revelations "a Vie 6goA aRa5

Juggling az my heartstrings as 1 fol-
lowed the porter into the car 10 the
seat he found for me- There was
something about this journey when
depressed nae unaccountably. and I'll
took me several minutes 10 recover
my po.se. 7 needed something to
read / decided and I stepped 10 the
door az Southampton. counting on
the number OF people who usually
boarded the train At that point 10
give me a chance 20 dash TO the
newsstand and back again.
Ipicked up the magazines I wish
ed and rendered the boy a small oi,-
I'm payment. He was so long in max
ing the change that heard the
conductor call "AIl aboard" just as
he finished, turned. clutching maya
zines and change. and dashed for the
car. ] was subconciousIy aware that
a taXi-driver from beside the sta
ton was sounding a horn raucously
that some one elst was calling
wait"
I vaguely wondered II It were on
my account Then 1 heard the
sound Of running feet beside me,
and as 1 reached the train a strong
hand slipped underneath my elobow.
forestaIling the porter's help. and I
gained the platform just as the train
began TO move. Only then did I
have a chance to- glance at the per
son who had aided me, and I had
hard work to keep from staring at
the very striking man who stood
deferentially bowling TO me.
For he was Of a typeI rare in my
experience. Distinctly foreign, with
snow-white hair brushed rather stihy
into military pOmpadour, with
mustache and a trim Vandyke beard.
also white-he wore a light cape
topcoat Of distinctly foreign make,
covering his extremely modish
clothes, and setting of an unusual
ly tall and well-set-up figure. He
would have intrigued my imag lnation
even without the eyeglasses he wore,
which had such thick lenses that
they hid his eyes.
Madame viii pardon me" he said
I'm a voice Of foreign and as cultered
as his appearance But I could not
let her miss the train"
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1922-06-15

Miss Jean Wheelock. 706 Park
av entertained at luncheon at 1870
o'clock w ednesday afternoon
as courtesy TO Miss FL
Donna Lontz, whose mar
riage to Arthur Royce Macdonald
Will take place June gath. A sug-