The Hartford republican. (Hartford, Ky.) 18??-1926, 1922-10-20
BEADS ODDLY STRUNG
(By 1. d. Claire)

Once in long while column con-
ductors, like Fluke. Malcolm Bailey
and yours very respectfully, will
drift on to a real clever paragraph.
Fluke struck harmony cord in that
Doc Riley story last week. But
most of the credit is due Doc, for,
after all, it was Ills invention. You
see, know the inside workings of
the column conductors, and the bet
ter you know how things are done
the less reverence you have for
them
Ia making my will I'm going to
cut that boy of mine off with just
few thousand dollars. The little
rascal has talked so much baseball
about the house that | actually
found myself reading reports of the
world series. It's a case of boy
corrupting his parent, and he ought
to be punished
Buddy NcPheag thinks of a heap
OF things that escape the most of US.
We were talking about the weather
the other day when | thought l was
pulling something smart by remark
ing that Noah was the greatest
weather prophet in all history; re-
ferring to the fact that he predict
ed the flood forty years in advance.
Noah had q hunch at weather pre-
dictions," Buddy commented. but
! he made a good many blunders when
he was loading up the Ark" And
when l asked why, he continued,
Just look how stupid he was to let
in the snakes and bedbugs and all
them sort OF things, OF course he
| amt 10 blame for the sharks and the
! seaserpents. because they could
| swim, but he could have had Missus
Noah stand around with a bush and
kept the flies and mosquitoes from
getting in through the windows"
A group of us on the Watterson
Mezzanine the other night fell to
discussing the great surprises of
history, when the wit OF the group
remarked that he had always
thought Father Adam had the most
remarkable surprise of all time
Just think" said he, what must
have been the old mans surprise
when he saw the first sunset. Expert
ence had not yet taught him the
movements of the planets. and he
must have watched old Sol go down
with sore misgivings that he would
never appear again." upon the deliv-
cry of which one of the party sug-
gsted that we repair to the nearest
soft drink stand.
I come in daily contact with pro-
hibition enforce ent officers, and
| hear them recount some remarka-
BILE experiences. One of the most
amusing of these was told me yester-
day. The officer said they-these
fellows like wolves hunt in packs
had arrested hill man and destroy
ed his outfit, when he said to them,
Boys. / haven't any grievance
against you fellows, in fact you are
my friends. II you boys were to
quit raiding moonshine would go
down 10 fifty cents a gallon. and !
there would not be any money in the
business for me or anybody else"
Now that sounds funny, but it is,
after all. sound sense.
A rich fastener is going TO en-
dow a medical college, before the |
students of which. every type of prac-
titioner may lay his pet theory for
healing the sick. The allopath, the
homeopath, the osteopath, the
chiropractic, the eclectic. the eccen-
tric the root and herbs man and the
faith-healer, together with the SPELL
worker and the magician. may alter
nate in lecturing to the bewildered
students. And then may the Lord
have mercy on the uckless patients
of this product Of the doctor factory.
The rest of mankind do not just
ly appreciate the tremendous debt
they owe to the Russian people. Just
when a war-weary world was drifting
toward anarchy, the Russians oblig-
ingly tried out the disastrous expert
ment. and are paying an awful penal
by for the Object lesson they are fur
nishing to the human race.
Perhps no greater single misfor-
tune can befall nation OF people