The Coconino sun., 1922-04-28

Now remember, lkey, dat vas a goot glass eye you got. Always take it oudt and put it in your pocket when you ain't lookin' at holdings.
 Whats the reason you always look so healthy?' Johnny Kerley asked J. B. Ormond. "I'm vegetarian" Or mond explained. "Ill never eat meat again." said Kerley. "How long have you been one ?" "I begin to morrow" said Ormond.
 "Note they have operated on a Philadelphia boys head to make better boy of him." says B. A. Haight, ''but I'll tell the world that ain't where my dad used to operate on me-"
 Doctor Fronske says it takes lot of patience to run Ford, but he's got 'em.
 Orlie Truman says the meanest man he ever knew always asked his little daughter every time she wanted an ice cream soda or bag of candy if she wouldn't rather have gold watch when she was nineteen.
 Walter Conley had two Boston peo- pie out at Grand Canyon. They were looking at the gorgeous sunset. "Be- hold that exquisite sunset" the hus- band exclaimed. Mote the delicate flesh tints, the cream shades, the long dashes of vermillion, and the almost living fire that leaps up from the sinking sun as from a fountain. Be- hold the framework of darkening skies and of deep green. Isn't it wonderful ?"
 "You just bet it is!' his wife ex- claimed. "1t just looks like a great big lobster salad!"
 Billy Switzer says of man who used to drink great deal to drown his sorrow that he couldn't ever drink enough because his sorrow had learn ed to swim.
 Joe Dolan says the meanest man he ever knew wouldn't give his son the five cents he needed with what he already had to buy a ticket to the circus, because the month before he'd let the boy go up on hill in neigh bor's meadow to look at the eclipse.
 Every darned thing is so low now adays, means Ben Doney in his most pessi-philosophic mood, except my opinion of you, your opinion of me and the rest on 'ems opinion of the two of us.
 By gosh!" says R. w. Watson, "I got even with one of them thar dinged book agents the other day. He pes tered me so long that I just took his blamed books and paid him with a check which I signed but didn't place no amount on. I'll bet the cuss will be mad when he sees how I fooled him."
 Pete Solberg says he'd dearly love to take trip around the world, but he can't because he always gets dizzy when he travels in circle.
 Mic explained to a patron of his restaurant who found piece of rub Der tire in the hash that it only goes CO SHOW tIldI Cile dutOInODlle IS re- placing the horse everywhere.
 Doug Roome says the first time he ushered in church he told lady: 'This way, madam, and I'll sew you into a sheet"
 Professors Ridgely and Blake of the Normal school, were rowing on Mormon Lake in a boat. Ridgely was rowing and insisted that Blake sit in the bow of the boat because that way the boat would be going down hill all the time.
 Jim Roscow picked up an almanac the other day and sat down to read it. In an hour he rushed to doctor claiming he just knew he had dia- betes, Bright's disease, malaria, dys- pepsia, insomnia, lumbago, blood poisoning, cancer of the stomach, sci atica, scrofula and rheumatism.
 Douglas Gillespie began the other day to reveal a secret to young wo- man by saying: "There's been some thing trembling on my lips for sev-