davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Cordova daily times., 1922-07-13

Business men Anchorage, property owners and citi at large nothing to fear regarding the future Anchorage and surrounding country There is pn dercurrent of pessimsm prevailing in Anchorage today that absolutely without foundation There is no rea- son for this misspent expression; it s augmented by undesirable class neither sel but of that despcabe finding outlet to their feelings by con- knocking The reliable and sound citizens of An chorage, those who financially and morally inter- esed are not discouraged the temporary business slump This slump is to be expected; it follows the natural course events and will right itself to the bet torment of Anchorage Anchorage is not dependent the biased or unbiased opinion of any government official; not dependent the opinion of Alaska railroad officials who merely engineers and con- tractors not usnessmen.-Auchorage Times.
The Cordova daily times., 1922-07-13

Liberty Bonds at par and better ought to oive financial courage and strength and an optimistic spirit to all Americans. It Will be accepted not only as hamburger or a prophecy but as approaching proof ot better Press.
The Cordova daily times., 1922-07-13

The weekly open-air concerts which the Cor dova band inaugurated last night will be musical treat which our residents will thor oughly enjoy
The Cordova daily times., 1922-07-13

We know lady who bought some nut bread that looked very good but when she cut it she was disgusted with it and came to the conclusion that the nearest that it came to nut bread was that some nut had baked it,
The Cordova daily times., 1922-07-13
4 NEW TWIST

We now revise the old, old saw, And you all know it's true: A Ford car always find some worl For idle hands to do.
The Cordova daily times., 1922-07-13
TWO PESSIMISTS

"I don't keer so much fer this glad fad and Pollyanna business"
 Me, neither. It's~getting so man hardly knows where he can go to borrow a little trouble"
The Cordova daily times., 1922-07-13
THE CHAM p

It's easy to be grouchy
 When things aren't coming your
 way; But the prize old growl Is the man who will howl When everything's going o. K.
The Cordova daily times., 1922-07-13

Safety first pays well. The inventor of safety pins made $4,2OO,ooO.
 A woman is like a cannon; she doesn't seem ready to go until sne 5 full of powder.
The Cordova daily times., 1922-07-13

"Five Hundred Troy Laundry-Wo men Walk Out. ."-Headline Strucf while the ironing was hot.
The Cordova daily times., 1922-07-13

The law grants every man the right to protect the honor of his home by marrying a good woman in the first place.
The Cordova daily times., 1922-07-13

One of the mean things about changing from winter to summer is that you must carry four coat pockets to stuff in two trouser pockets.
The Cordova daily times., 1922-07-13

The traffic cops declare that toe many people think they know how to drive a car as soon as they learr to step on the gas.
The Cordova daily times., 1922-07-13

According to a neurologist, during the holiday season heads of families are especially apt to lost their bal ance. They're only to glance at their check books to realize that.
The Cordova daily times., 1922-07-13

Modern inventions are developing a race of button pushers. It means that all of the physical exercises of the future will be confined to poster ity's thumb.
The Cordova daily times., 1922-07-13
THE WAGES OF SIN


 "Bredern," exclaimed the preacher as he came across a portion of his flock engaged in pursuing the god dess of chance, Don't yo' all know it's wrong to shoot craps?"
 Vas, pahson," admitted one par ishoner sadly, "an' b'lieve me, Ah'm payin' fo' nah sins"
 One false step isn't always fatal. Where there's a will there's a get away.
 "Dickey," said the mother, "when you divided those five caramels with your sister, did you give her three?"
 "No, ma. I thought they wouldn't come out even, so I ate one fore began to divide"
 The trouble with modern prodigal sons is they do not return with any spirit of humility, but want to be met with a brass band and then taken home in a $1O,OOO limousine while the crowds cheer.
The Cordova daily times., 1922-07-13
DEATH BATTLES

They say jazz is dead. We thought it was dying from the weird noise 1t made.
The Cordova daily times., 1922-07-13

Somewhat embarrassed he sidled up to the department store glove coun- ter.
 T would like to see Miss Green, he stammered.
 The absent-m minded salesperson looked up languidly.
 Miss Green is out," she said, "but we have a Miss White who is very nice, also Miss Black and Miss Brown, who are very popular this sea- son."
The Cordova daily times., 1922-07-13

The woman who pushed her hus band into the river was trying to down her troubles.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-04-13
T. A. G. RAILROAD IS
 IN GOOD HANDS

as The Tennessee, Alabama and Georgia rail- road now belongs to c. E. James of Chatta- nooga, man who has ample means and has made success of previous undertakings. He is the largest land owner in his section and no one could be more interested in the preservation of this railroad.
 There are many rumors of developments to follow. One is that the Seaboard and Frisco will enter Gadsden and thus make connection with Chattanooga through the T. A. G. There is a report of large cement plant to be built on the line. There is also prospect for the development of the properties of the Great Southern Steel corporation, which owns 1O0,- 900 acres of mineral land in that section and of linking up with Henry Ford's interests.
 Not all these possibilities may be realized, but it is significant that line capable of being made of great service to the people between Gadsden and Chattanooga is in the hands of those interested in the section which it traverses.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-04-13
PAPER MAKING IN THE SOUTH

From the Columbus Enquirer-Sun.
 About two weeks ego the Enquirer-Sun gave up considerable of it's editorial space to a re- view of an article on paper making in the south from the utilization of our cut-over pine lands, and we are still receiving letters and inquiries about the article in question.
 It will be of further interest to our readers to learn, as mentioned in the Charleston, s. C., News and Courier, that Robert ". Babson the noted business expert, makes the flat predic- tion that it will be only few years until the paper industry of America will concentrated in the south. "Cotton mills in the south are making money" Mir. Babson says, "because they are in natural location. The same applies The day is coming when the entire industry of millions of dollars, will be located in the south ern states.p
 The above forecast was given the New Or leans Times-Picayune by MT. Babson his return from somewhat extended study of the work which is being done in Louisiana by the Great Southern Lumber company. This con- cern is now operating paper mill at Boga- usa, La., and they are also conducting inter- esting experiments in the reforestation of cut over lands. MT. Babson was very much inn pressed with what he saw at Bogalusa, and especially with the fact that the lobloly pine will grow to sufficient size for pulp-making in 12 to 15 years, whereas it requires 20 years to produce pulp tree in the north.
 As the News and Courier points out, the chief reason why the paper industry has not made headway in the south until now is the fact that no method has yet been devised for extracting rosn from the pine log so as to make it available for newsprint; no method, that is to say, available for commercial pur- poses.
 But it would seem that considerable prog ress has been made in that direction, as is shown in the article published by the Enquirer Sun few weeks ago, and, indeed, MT. Bab son is confident that this phase of the problem will be solved, if it has not been done already. The Times-Picayune thinks that MT. Babson's reputation as "a practical and hard-headed business expert should incline the owners of cut-over lands to listen to him where they have been deaf to the local advocates who have urged the advsability of putting the cut-over lands to work growing an CIV crop of trees There are millions of acres of these lands and the Times-Picayune thoroughly agrees with Mr. Babson that the feasibility of reforesta- tion has been demonstrated by practical test
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-04-13

District of Columbia and every state but four Vermont, Rhode Island, Wyoming and Oregon.
 In 1920 the illiterate males in the United States, 21 years of age and over, numbered g. 192,36s and females 21 years of age and over numbered 2,14O, TAB. Adult illiteracy is greatest in America among the foreign-born white pop ulation.
 America will never become land of oppor- tunity for all it's citizens until illiteracy is abolished. Success does not necessarily de- pend on a college education, but man or woman who can neither read nor write suffers the worst of all handicaps to human enter prise
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-04-13
TRACING CRIMINALS BY THE
 AID OF DENTISTRY

Dentists attending the annual convention of the State Dental association in Birmingham may be interested in the announcement made at a meeting of the Kentucky association in Louis vile, that dentistry is going to play an impor- tant part in training criminologists.
 According to report published in the Louis vile Courier-Journal when the victim is found lying dead on floor the dentist will be able to learn the identity of the murderer if he is careless enough to leave his front tooth on the scene of his crime. The human front tooth, says the Kentucky dentists is miniature dupli cate of the face inverted, with line drawn from tho temple across the forehead and down to the point of the chin."
 Dental science has also discovered that there are but three types of faces-"ovoid, square and tapering, with 56 notifications" Every other tooth in persons head bears a certain relation to his front tooth, and as there are 25 different hues of teeth recognized by the dental profession, the criminologists of the fu- ture will have easy sailing, so far as describing eiihiAAai IS eohcelheo' VI coulse' IL VIII 'heu be necessary to catch him, but the knowledge that he left behind tell-tale tooth may take all the initiative out of fugitive from justice and make his capture mere matter of routine.
 The celebrated Sherlock Holmes, if memory is not at fault, did not go into the dental phase of crimnoogy, but Dr. Doyle must have some knowledge of the subject, picked up during his medical career, and if he had not become tn- trigued by spiritualism Sherlock might have used front tooth to do an excellent piece of detective work.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-04-13
WOMEN FOR CONGRESS
Washington Star.

From the WaSnlHBton SVar.
 Woman is getting her place in the sun, and some persons may say that she has ambitions to annex the sun, perhaps to wear it as jewel. She is certainly coming on in the world and has scored big gains in those parts of the world called "business," "the profess s.ons'' and politics" In politics she is devel- oping ambition and momentum, and as for the Senate, well the indications are that the ''au- gust body" deliberate branch of Congress" s'the upper chamber and all that may soon be what is the word?--oh, yes, femnized.
 Two women announce that they are making an attempt to invade the Senate, and no man can count the other women who may be set ting their caps for the Senate. Once senator was quite "catch," and now they want the Senate. Mrs. Peter Oleson has been named by a convention as a democratisc candidate for the Senate from Minnesota, and Miss Belle Kearney aims, nay, she means, to be senator from Mississippi in succession to Marse John Sharp Williams. And there is luxuriant crop of lady candidates who profess to be content to begin their careers in stateswomanship in the humble House of Representatives.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-04-13
JUsTIFIABLE HYPOCRISY

From the Montgomery Advertiser.
 Old Tom Pritchard, of Pennsylvania, who had been farming all his life, refuses to be thrilled' over the news that he is heir to $40' ,O00 in St. Louis. At least that is wha. he tells the reporters. But the truth is he | probably not sleeping more than two or three hours night. He is putting up good front to the public, but in his bosom the old heart is cutting up, and awesome visions are flyint' before the brain. But we thank him for hia big fib. It is kind of nice to find a person who can pretend to be indifferent to $40, 900 ,000.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-04-13
soU' SPAIN

c. F. S., in Punch, London Are you coming Johnnie Bowline, have you
 had your fill of fun? Are you ready Johnnie Bowlne, now your pay
 rolls spent and done, And your welcomes growing stale And your pals begin to fail, And there's something seems to whisper thas
 it's time to sail again? Time to hit the trail, you know Time to pay your shot and go, Time to beave your donkey's breakfast
 and sail Sou Spain7 Are you coming, Johnnie Bowlne, have yor
 kissed your girl adieu? There's a lofty skysail clipper and I think sh,
 waits for you, And she's ready for the sea And the Peters flying free, And the wind goes through her rigging like
 a ranting old refrain Crime to find ship once more, You've been over-long ashore Time to hump your old seachest aboard and
 sail Sou Span.' Hurry up now, Johnnie Bowlne, for she hasn't
 long to stay; Get move on, Johnnie Bowline, if yop
 mean to come away, For the tide is at the flood And the anchors off the mud, And they're tramping round the capstan in
 the darkness and the rain; And, when oiskins and seachest Go the way of all the rest, Oh, it's time to take the pierhead jump aac
 sail Sou Spain. Sou Spain Sou Spain, in the grey dawn breas.
 ing chill! Sou Spain, Sou Spain, give it lip, lads, s.ith
 will! Oh, don't you weep for me, for me, my lovely
 Liza Jane; You'll son forget your sailorman that's saise
 Sou Spain.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-04-13
LETTERS TO EDITOR
INCOME TAX AUDITORS

To the Editor of The Age-Herad:
 A school at Washington is conducted by Uncle Sam especially to train the auditors and inspectors for the express purpose of checking up your income tax returns, so don't worry to figure it out, just let George do it." Each month new class of 125 "goes to school" They must first pass certain civil service require ments of bookkeeping knowledge and experi- ence such as the class will be given here on May 3; later at the school they will receive six weeks intensive training in the technicalities of the income tax law by means of lectures and individual instructions by experts. They are paid full salary while under instruction. The examination on May will be throughout the United States to test the qualifications of ap- plicants for positions as auditors and inspec- tors under the income tax unit of the internal revenue department, and the preliminary re- quirement is two years practical experience in double-entry bookkeeping, not less than one year of which involved profit and loss account ing. The entrance salary offered ranges from S1,S00 to $3,000 year. Full information and application blanks may be secured from the United States civil service commission, Wash ington, D. C., or from the local secretary at the postoffice. J. H. M'COLLISTER
 Birmingham, April II, 1922.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-04-13
ALABAMA MELON FORCING
 TO THE FRONT

Market experts point to the fact that for the past several seasons the best watermelons and greatest number coming to the Birmingham market have been Alabama grown, and that the Alabama melon has virtually absorbed the home markets. This is as it should be, and is owing to the greater care taken in the grow ing of a uniform product and cooperative selling.
 The Alabama melon has likewise travelled far in larger quantities by reason of superior busi- ness methods being injected into that industry The Alabama melon is closer to the midwest ern markets than the Georgia melon and should reach there over such lines as the Louisville and Nashville in record time. It can travel east and west with like dispatch over the other railroads.
 Geneva county alone has $500 acres in watermelons this year, and the Alabama Farm bureau has organized watermelon associations in number of counties. Already 10000 acres are pledged.
 Georgia is the peach state. There is no reason why Alabama shouldn't be the great melon state
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-04-13
THE MODERN FORTY THIEVES

From the Mobile Register
 The "Forty Thieves" exist in New York. They have a cave somewhere filled with their plunder, but its locality is not yet known. When discovered it will probably be found warehouse. The robbers ride handsomely sp- pointed motor cars and bring with them high powered trucks to carry their loot. Their chief work is that of holding up" the silk trains from the west; and last Saturday night they were on hand, with their trucks stopped train and would have carried off $500,000 worth of silks but the Saturday night train does not haul any silk cars. The captain of the 40 was at length persuaded that the joke was on him; so he fired his gun in air, gathered his trusty men around him, and ordered retreat. Si- lently all obeyed, and the automobiles pro- ceeded in one direction and the train another.
 Of course, these men would not steal silk ur- less they could dispose of it again; and there fore. dishonest dealers exist, men who have a good deal of capital in the fence" business. If the law could lay its hands on the dealers, the thevery would become improbable and stop.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-04-13
STILL SPELLED "LATvIA"

To the Editor of The Age-Herald:
 I should like to call your attention to the statement made in your column of March 25 to the effect that, pursuant to an announce ment made by the Postmaster General, all per sons sending mail matter to Latva will here after address same to "Lettonia," the name of the country having been changed
 We should like to point out that there must be some error in the announcement made by the Postmaster General as we are not aware of any arrangements having been arrived at whereby the name of the country, which this consulate represents, should be changed. Let tonia is tke Latin derivative as Lettonie is the French, but the name of the country in English is Latvia as heretofore, which kindly note of. Thanking you for your attention to this mat ter, am, yours very truly,
 ARTHUR B. LILLE,
 Consul of the Republic of Latvia New York, April 10, 1922 38 Park Row.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-04-13
CONFERENCE BIG FEATURE

"The meetings of the Alabama Education as- sociation are always the best attended state wide meetings held in Alabama, but from the present indications it seems that the eonven- tion this year will far surpass any ever held, both in numbers and in the amount of interest taken" declared Dr. T. W. Palmer, president of the association, upon his arrival in Birming- ham yesterday morning. Dr. Palmer was very enthusiastic the program as arranged this year as means of stimulating greater interest and support in education throughout the state, and spoke very encouragingly of the outcome of the Kilby conference which, as he sad twill be the newest and one of the biggest phases of the entire series of meetings"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-04-13

Arrived at home, Margot Asquith says pro- hibition is the only fraud in America. Margot is kind. We have others.
 x x If DeValera could be isolated on small atoll somewhere in the South sea, Ireland would be better off
 The Genoa conference will make better pro- gress when France quits making faces at Ger many.
  Public-spirited citizens of Philadelphia are still trying to catch up with the Philadelphia joke.
  Once more we hear the roar of the bleachers and the crack of the bat. All's right with the world
 + Time flies, but May Yohe is still good for three-column interview in the public prints
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-04-13
WANTS ALDERMANIc sYsTE M

To the Editor of The Age-Herald:
 Attached, please find my vote against the present form of city government and strongly in favor of the old aldermanic form.
 am writing this from Memphis and trust it will be accepted. am a strong believer in let ting well enough alone.
 Experimenting at such times the present is too much like gambling. The old, expert enced aldermen would be very welcome to re- place our present commission. Our present board should have taken few lessons in man. agement before accepting such an important public office. WILLIAM H. WELLS, 531 South Main, Memphis. Birmingham, SPA
 Woodland avenue, south. April II, 1922
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-04-13
WHY WEAR FLOWERS?

q have had flower or nosegay in the lapel of my coat ever since I was laid up long time in the hospital" said w. H. Statham. "Friends sent me flowers while I was sick and they inspiration to me to look at them and inhale their fragrance.
 q got accustomed to that inspiration and after I left the hospital I felt the need of It. So for eight years have daily gotten flower or so at a certain flower stand and it appears in my lapel.
 "I may not have worn flowers in my lapel as long as L. P. Hill has done, but I warrant that he gets no more satisfaction out of it than I dc"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-04-13
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
 AND ELSEWHERE
LAIRD GOES TO CHICAGO

Hervey w. Laird, former well-known news paper man and for many years Age-Herald cor respondent at Montgomery, has joined the "Na- tional Miller" of Chicago. The current issue contains the following announcement with an artistic crayon sketch of Mr. Laird:
 "For long time Hervey w. Laird has been known to millers as one of the most energetic and progressive men connected with milling journalism We are, therefore, very glad to announce that MT. Laird on April 1 resigned his position as business manager of the Dixie Miller to join the National Miller organization.
 Although his work hitherto has been con- fined largely to the south, his friends and ac- quaintances in the milling industry are not limited by sectional boundaries
 "Mr. Laird brings to National Miller his keen and resourceful personality plus valuable ex- perience spent in newspaper, journalistic and general publicity work. His ability to make and keep friends, another decided asset, is best summed up by his own explanation, I just nat urally like folks This has undoubtedly been a big factor in his success, for, such human attribute is generally reciprocated by those with whom he comes in contact"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-04-13
SOUTHERN BY. AND TWENTIETH STREET

To the Editor of The Age-Herald:
 Finally remark, under the above text, that the Southern railway is the only of Twen- tieth street to the daily detriment of Birming- ham business men.
 have seen their accommodation trains stop astride Twentieth street to discharge passen- gers that didn't number one-tenth the pedes- trians held up thereby. I have been held up as much as eight minutes by their switching across the street to shunt freight cars to the freight depot which is done by no other rail- road.
 So as to keep the Southern railway "night clerk to the text I will admit that George Washington discovered America, Oscar Under wood was the first mayor of Birmingham and that my neighbor, B. B. Conner, was clerk of the circuit court.
 I may remark that the Calera town marshal prohibited both the Southern and the Louis vile and Nashville 30 years ago from stopping passenger trains astride their only street
 GEO. H. ROGERS. Birmingham, April 12, 1922.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-04-13
HOPES CONVENTION RETURNS

"A good attendance is always recorded when the Alabama Dental association convenes in Birmingham" said Dr. s. B. Hopkins of Green vile, secretary. q hope that the association will make Birmingham, the regular convention city of the state.
 Birmingham is centrally located, and we find excellent convention quarters here and the dentists seemingly are attracted here in larger numbers than in the other cities of the state.
 "The convention this year has been very sue csssful and all the members of the association are satisfied with the results"