davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-04-24
A MILK FED LOCOMOTIVE
From the Louisville Courier-Journal.

IToH Ife LoulSNllle bouTleT-JOurndi.
 Milk and poached eggs make man human locomotive, if Samuel A. Johnson is to be be- lieved. He attributes to "heavy consumption of milk and poached eggs" his ability to trot 256 miles in 50 hours.
 MT. Johnson won $5,000 by trotting from Boston to New York The sum is bagatelle compared with the money man could earn in the course of an average career in business had he the "steam" which makes possible the achievement of MT. Johnson.
 To be human locomotive it isn't necessary, so it seems, to have sheep dssected, or vivi- sected, by surgeon to renew your thyroid gland or improve it, by introduction of foreign matter.
 You need only have your home half way be- tween the COW barn and the hennery and eat a balanced ration, often and copiously.
 It is possible, of course, that man of subnormal physical endowments might not be- come more than human motorcycle or a hu- man flivver by eating milk and eggs. Not every one would become mountain engine like Mr. Johnson. But, beyond a reasonable doubt, more milk and eggs, less red meat, and rich brown, aromatic, consoling tobacco, and fewer highballs or cocktails would improve the leg work and the headwork of many who could not, by emulating the example of the human locomotive, become able to trot from New York to Boston within two days, two nights and two hours.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-04-24
CHAMBER OF COMMERCE IN
 THE EGG BUSINESS

The Chamber of Commerce, through it's ag- ricultural committee, has invested $200 in set tings of eggs for 200 boys and girls in Jeffer- son county They will be pure-bred White pay the chamber with frier out of each set ting, The obligation is entered into in writing with the parents of the children joint signers.
 With the proceeds of the sale of the friers the chamber expects to establish a revolving fund for perpetuation of the project. It is a fine idea and we'll worth the investment. What ever stimulates the young on the farm to an appreciation of pure-bred stock and to business like dealings will make better farmers and farm wives of the next generation. Not only that, but adults learn from the ways of chil- dren when these ways are shown to be good,
 The chamber will later on purchase pigs for the boys of the pig clubs and distribute them under certain obligations. Several dozen calves were purchased for the farm boys last year. and all but five of them lived up to the condi- tions attached.
 This is fine education for the boys and girls; ; much better than if the eggs, the calves and pigs were gifts. It is helping those who are willing to help themselves, and brings business methods to the boy and girl in the making of men and women.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-04-24
POINTED PARAGRAPHS

From the Chicago News.
 The best men practice better than they, preach.
 A bank teller always has something of in terest on hand.
 Love is sweet because principal ingredi- ent thereof is taffy.
 Perhaps the easiest way to have a good time is to go ahead and have it.
 There is no coming into the heritage of life without leaving your old home.
 No man ever realizes his real value until he is sued for breach of promise.
 An attractive character is almost as valuable an asset as a magnetic pocket.
 We are always certain that these things which give us satisfaction can't be wrong
 When perfectly humane man has enough money laid aside to keep him on Easy street the rest of his days he gives others chance.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-04-24
CAVE GIRL WON
From the Pittsburg Dispatch.

From the Pittsburg Dispatch.
 The youthful cave man who starts out some warm sunny afternoon to knock down and drag away bride should make point to pick out a maiden who wants to be wooed in that flatter ing style. There are large number of young women parading the streets of all large cities who are comforting to the eye, but it is well to bear in mind that they may be atayistic, too-real cave women. And when a cave man, bent on wooing and winning his bride on a street, chances to pick out a cave girl who has other notions for her future, some thing painful is bound to happen.
 A young man in Detroit started out Monday afternoon to get his bride on the cave-man plan. It may have been the unreasonable heat of that day which affected his eye and judgment, for he selected a cave woman who scratched him al- most into ribbons, tore him almost into pieces, and then, after cuffing him around, had him ar rested. Even a cave man should be cautious under some conditions on hot days in April.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-04-24
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
 AND ELSEWHERE
INFORMATION oN FIRE ALARMs

Persons giving fire alarms would facilitate matters very much by giving the street and number of the fire without going to all the trouble of giving their names and other un- important information" said C. E. Crossett, op- orator at the central fire station.
 "All calls come into central headquarters and are reayed to sub-stations. Sometimes per sons living in the suburbs send in a call and only give their names, thinking that the fire men at the neighboring station know where they live. But they not talking to the nearest station, but with headquarters. The sooner they give their house number the sooner wlll fire engines arrive on the scene and the less will be the damages"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-04-24
THE DISTRIBUTION OF BEAUTY

From the Montgomery Advertiser.
 The Chicago newspaper woman who surveys the field of fillies at Los Angeles and singles out one young woman positively 'the most beautiful woman in the world" makes beauty judging ridiculous. Not having seen all the beautiful women in California, much less in the round world, she can not claim to know what she Is talking about. It is false assumption that the Los Angeles picture industry has drawn to it the choice beauties of the earth and that beyond that circle there are no eligible con testants worthy to be considered.
 Manifestly, there is no one woman in the world who can properly be adjudged more beau tiful than all her sisters of all climes. Beauty is not so discriminating and stingy in distribut ing itself that. In any one city there numerous women of equal beauty. There are enough perfectly beautiful women in the good old world to whip Spain, if they were male soldiers.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-04-24
BLESSED

From Farm Life.
 Blessed is the frying size lad who doesn't consider his parents as pair of idiots.
 Blessed is the flapper who isn't decorated like a red barn.
 Blessed is the mother-in-law who thinks her son-in-law good enough for his wife.
 Blessed is the woman who can refrain from saying, 'T told you so" when her husband pounds his thumb with the hammer.
 Blessed is the old bachelor who doesn't know just how children should be reared.
 Blessed is the man who worry with the baby while it's mother sets dinner on the table and not lose his temper and spank the baby.
 Blessed is the husband who can find his clean shirt and his Sunday shoes without tearing up the contents of every bureau and wardrobe on the place.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-04-24

what cold. In fact, MT. Chaplin stated that the people in Berlin didn't seem to know who he was and hastened back to the warm embraces of Paris.
 Mir. Dempsey's European tour has started auspiciously and he should be able to pick up a great deal of depreciated currency before he returns to his native land, thus offsetting to some extent the raids made on American pock t books by foreign lecturers. MT. Dempsey will exhibit himself, but he won't lecture.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-04-24
HARD TIMES ON ST. HELENA

From the London Daily Mail.
 St. Helena, the island prison of Emperor Napoleon, is harder hit today than at any time since the opening of the Suez Canal, writes a recent visitor. This is chiefly due to the great decrease in visits by ships. The failure of the flax industry, which was started with the aid of a government grant after the war, is another cause of the lack of prosperity Jamestown, the capital, was busy and rich little town forty years ago. Today the streets are, empty and the houses dilapidated. Even in the country many houses are uninhabted, while others are in ruins The cable station is one of the few institutions which have not suffered since the beginning of the war. But the island is still able to support a weekly newspaper, the Guardian.
 The population of St. Helena is curious one Many settlers came to the island after the great fire of London in 1866. Others were originally slaves from Madagascar. The result is a colored race. The majority of the men are sailors.
 the trade winds tempting the tropic heat Five-sixths of the island is barren today owing to rapidly multiplying flocks of goats destroying the vegetation.
 Bees will not live on the island, and in con- sequence little fruit can be cultivated.
 One of the peculiarities of St. Helena is the rollers. These are great walls of water that rise without warming on a calm sea and en- danger shipping anchored offshore.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-04-24
TOOLS WERE FoRD's TOYS

From My Life and Work" by Henry Ford in
 collaboration with Samuel Crowther, in Me-
 Clure's Magazine.
 had kind of workshop with odds and ends of metal for tools before had anything else. In those days we did not have the toys of today; what we had were home made. My toys were all tools-they still are. And every fragment of machinery was treasure.
 The biggest event of those early years was meeting with road engine about eight mics out of Detroit one day when we were driving to town. I was then 12 years old. The second biggest event was getting watch--which hap pened in the same year. I remember that en- zine as though I had seen it only yesterday. For it was the first vehicle other than horse- drawn that had ever seen. It was intended primarily for driving threshing machines and sawmills and was simply portable engine and boiler mounted on wheels with water tank and coal cart trailing behind. I had seen plenty of these engines hauled around by horses, but this one had chain that made connection be- tween the engine and the rear wheels of the wagon-like frame on which the boiler was mounted. The engine was placed over the boiler and one man standing on the platform behind the boiler shoveled coal, managed the throttle and did the steering It had been made by Nichols, Shepard & Go. of Battle Creek I found that out at once. The engine had stopped to let us pass with our horses and I was off the wagon and talking to the en- gineer before my father, who was driving, knew what was up to. The engineer was very glad to explain the whole affair. He was proud of it. He showed me how the chain was discon- nected from the propelling wheel and belt put on to drive other machinery. He told me that the engine made 200 revolutions minute and that the chain pinion could be shifted to let the wagon stop while the engine was still running, This last is a feature which, al- though in different fashion, is incorporated into modern automobiles. It was not important with steam engines, which are easily stopped and started but it became very important with the gasoline engine
 It was that engine that took me into auto motive trass3ortation.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-04-24
THE PORT OF DEMOPOLIS IS SHOWING DEVELOPMENT

Demopois, on the lower Warrior, is develop ing rapidly as port of entry for Selma, Mont gomery and other points in the black belt This has come about since Demopolis secured her terminals on the Warrior river, making it pos sible to handle goods brought up from New Orleans and Mobile on river vessels. Delivery is made by rail carriers and the rate is 20 per cent of the all-rail rate.
 Demopolis made plucky fight for recogn- tion by the government and put up her own money along with that of the government in order to secure the terminals. The town is sit uated in the heart of rapidly developing sec- tion and business through the port will greatly increase.
 The Warrior now has four ports with ter minal facilities, and it's commerce becomes more varied and larger as shippers are familiarized with its capacity to serve. The more they pa tronize the more assured they make it's per- manency.
 Among recent cargo items have been dry goods and palm leaf fans. The service can handle any kind of merchandise. Alabama mer- chants owe it to themselves, as we'll as to their state, to patronize the river when they can do so.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-04-24
ANENT MOVIE WEEK

"Some people have the wrong idea about mo- tion picture week. said Mrs. Myrtle w. Shell, city amusement inspector. "It seems as though there is an idea going around that it is meant for the advantage of only the one industry, but this is not the case.
 "The real purpose is to call attention to the fact that Birmingham exhibitors are now show ing almost entirely the pictures which have been censored by the national board of review. No especial pictures will be shown here during motion picture week, but the regular bookings will be at the local theatres"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-04-24
FLORAL LOVE

Minna Irving, in Wayside Tales. I am ragged sailor much
 In love with mignonette, But with sweet william she delights To openly coquette. I can't enjoy my Indian pipe, I feel inclined to take The monkshood and retire within The dark woods for her sake. I would not live forever thus Alone, so I will don A princes feather in my cap, And fox-gloves I'll put on, At four o'clock I'll go and ring The hluebell, and behold! Present to her my bleeding heart All framed in marigold.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-04-24

Colonel Mutt of the dry forces is not averse to being photographed. All the rumrunners on the South Atlantic coast probably know him by sight, anyhow. There is really no accounting for tastes. Gen eral Pershing says he would be proud to be a United States senator from Missouri
 x Seven languages spoken in the British isles. The language of diplomacy makes eight.
 x The soviet delegates at Genoa are setting a pace for sartorial splendor.
 * Sin, says a.clergyman, is costing this country more than $10,00o, 100000 annually. Paying the piper usually comes high
 x x Max Oser and Matilde Mccormick will settle down on farm in Switzerland. They wouldn't be happy in Chicago Winston Spencer Churchill, who recently fell from his horse, should take a leaf out of George Harvey's book and ride in Ford.
 x Hon. James J. Jeffries has gone into the oil business, which is more suitable for person of his temperament than evangelism.
 x * * "Chaunce" Depew seems to get great deal out of life, despite the fact that he gave up smoking and quit eating red meat years ago.
 * Henry Ford is not the first man who couldn't live up to the advance notices of his press agents.
 Conan Doyle will discover that the American people are chiefly interested in the ghost of old John Barleycorn.
 < # x Princess Mary and her husband are enjoying vacation from the front page that would take the heart out of prima donna Alls right with the world. British royalty has been approved by Jack Dempsey.
 < The balance of power in Europe is teeterng again. Russia and Germany have about 200,- 000,000 people.
 x < When Jim Reed glanced at the handwriting on the wall he read the initials, "W. w."
 < x * Fatty Arbuckle film was shown in New Orleans without starting riot.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-04-24
PLAN MEMORIAL CAMPAIGN

"Plans are now being completed for the drive for the $100,00o for the erection of the Mccoy Memorial church on the campus of Birming- ham-Southern college" said E. G. Mackay yes terday.
 "The exact date of the opening of the drive has not been settled yet, but all the forces are lining up for the beginning.
 "This church will be pre-eminently church for the students, but every the western side of Greater Birmingham will be invited to attend
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-04-24
REAL IRELAND IS A RICH COUNTRY

A great many American people have an idea that Ireland is poverty-stricken. s. s. Me- Cure, who is an Irshman himself and has written for McClures magazine the results of observations made on tour of inspection of Ireland tells quite another story. As MT. Me Cure says, "We find in history many records of human delusions. Today, probably, the largest single deusion is the average mans opinion of Ireland"
 Ignoring temporary conditions brought about by civil war; MT. Mcclure describes the way Ireland appeared to hi min 1919. A few years have not made the country barren will derness. MT. Mcclure says:
 The Irish are prosperous people In the first week of July, 1919, made journey through the whole length and breadth of Ireland in company with American who, like myself, had spent his youth a farm; he in Iowa. and I in Indiana and H. iinois. We, therefore. looked at Ireland with the eyes of American farmers. We simply founded at the of unbounded agricu- tural wealth. We farm houses, averaging well the homes of Indiana and Iowa, great herds of cattle of noble breeds. people well dressed and looking happy and prosperous. We had food better than had in England France. Ire land the only part of the world at that escaped the rationing of food
 There few peoples in the world who. for generation least, have been IS prosperous the Irish. larger percentage of the Irish people than of the American people their homes.
 In studying 8 of statistics in many fields dealing with Irish economies, the only statistics in which the figures smaller the statistics of the poorhouses and of those in receipt of out door relief. and in this matter the Irish made sderably better showing than the state of New York.
 Ireland has the soil and climate to make it one of the richest farming countries. In 1913 the United States alone, among all the coun- tries of the world, sold more food to Great Brit ain than Ireland. Containing but 10 per cent of the population of the United Kingdom, Ire land "produces 40 per cent of the cattle and 30 per cent of the pigs in the United Kingdom" The trade of Ireland with Great Britain is ex- ceeded only by the United States.
 In the last year of normal world trade, 1913, Ireland led all other nations in per capita for eign trade, and it leads the English-speaking world in cooperative agricultural associations. Although the population of Ireland has de- creased, emigration left more land and more op- portunities for the people who stayed at home and the prosperity of the nation as a whole has increased
 It is tragical that country so blest by na- ture, with an intelligent, progressive people, should be kept in tumult by political and re- ligious controversies. All Ireland needs is peace. She has won her independence.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-04-24
WELCOMES SINGERS

Birmingham always gives hearty well come to singers" said Philip w. Simon of New York city q am in position to know and can vouch for that statement. But I want to go further and say that the people here are not partial to singers but that they welcome musicians of all types.
 "It is pleasure to offer a musical artist to Birmingham music-lovers for a manager count almost to certainty that he will be backed up 100 per cent strong"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-04-24
PREDICTED CHOICE

q was expecting Bud Noble of Anniston to get the collectorship of the port of Mobile" !" declared Collector W. E. Snead of the internal revenue department for the district of Ala bama, after reading the Washington dispatch in Saturday mornings Age-Herald. "Mr. Noble was very intimately associated with the presi- dential circles, as the statement indicated, and despite the opposition, his likelihood of being appointed was very strong throughout the racen
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-04-24
COMMUNITY ECHOES

My guess is that there will be house parties and weekend visitors galore at the new Com munity club camp site throughout the remain der of the season." declared Edmund c, Armes, chairman of the house rules committee of the camp, who spoke in glowing terms about the impressions gained by every one after the big "opener" Saturday, when many club members and host of guests made their initial visit to the delightful retreat
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-04-24
BOYS TO ERECT RADIO

Boys rooming at the Y. Y. M. c. A. are sub scribing to fund to purchase a radio outfit for the auditorium of the building" said R. A. Love. "The aim of the roomers is to pur- chase the set for their own pleasure as well as for visitors. Concerts will be held from time to time for our amusement and instruc- tion. Each member of the big household at the " is subscribing from $1.50 to $2 each, and the receiving set will be installed soon."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-04-24
UNDOUBTEDLY

From the Passing Show, London.
 "A ghost which spends it's time sitting on the edge of bath has made its appearance in a large country house near Hitchin. Probably the spirit of departed plumber who died waiting for his mate
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-04-24
IN THE NEAR FUTURE

From Life.
 Mother Children, here's quarter Go down to the saloon and get your ice cream cone and soda water. And on your way back, stop in the drug store and bring your {athsr home."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-09-10
MOVIES FIND RIP
 VAN TWINKLE TOWN
Village Has No Telephones, Electricity, Railroads --0nly.
 GriSt Mill
ny Associated Press

Springfield, H.. September D. Bernadote, a Rip Van Wrinkle town. is awakening from . century of sleep.
 Like those souls living Ion yon- der hill" above Spoon river. who were Quickened into lie by the imagination of Edgar Lee Masters in his Anthology" the unperturbed in- habitants of this strange little vil- lage on the same Spoon river. have been touched with life by the pen of newspaper writer.
 Without telephones, automobiles. railroads or any modern convent ences. this town had gone on in it's undisturbed way for a hundred years, sleeping quietly in busy world, until few days ago when 1t was discovered" by 8 motion pie ture director and the next morning awoke to fame with a column of type in a Bloomington newspaper.
 c. L. Varnard. looking about for . "1ocation" to film . country town scene. ran across the village. It has no railroads and half the inhabi- tants claim never to have seen | train. It has no picture shows and of course had never seen . motion picture camera There are no tele- phcses and no electricity in the town. The old village grist mill is still grinding away every day with water from the same spillway that supplied the mill century ago.
 But now strange things arc hap'- pening in Bernadote. Big automc- piles whizz through the village. There is the unusual smell of oil and gas oline. The swiriing dust from many pneumatic tires distrsssss tho be