The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1922-02-03

a CASUAL glance at the signature on tne
naval treaty of the japanese delegate to the
disarmament conference would lead one to the
conclusion that the document came from an
Ethiopian fraternal insurance society.
Don't Cry, Little Girl, Don't Cry; You'll Be
Grown-up By and BY.
rWrenched from the Moline Dispatch by Duff
Miss Caughey, who is sister six
miles wide and thirty miles long, of Mrs.
Twinam King, has watched the city
grow and she told very Interestingly of
its progress.
are some things we won't do more than once.
And one of them is TO put in a strenuous hour
on the gym floor at volleyball and basketball
when not drop of water is available for a
bath afterwards We hereby re-christen The
Argus "Y'' class 1.-THE Dirty Dozen.
OH, JAY, SLIP THIS EARFUL TO TIL
GAZETTE, WILL VA?
Dear Mac: Though in pointing the finger
of suspicion"-(jar 999 of the old cannery)-
misplaced the last joint of that digit, ask
Nothing, absolutely. AS enthusiastically SO
elf-admitted poetical attributes-which is say
ETEoCLBs.
p s.: Boy, please wire the Evening Ga
zette that 1 agree Internationally with its Sc
lection of Cedar Rapids poet ETEO'.
an unprecedented observer might gather
that Eteocles is not an enthusiastic admirer
OF our poetry. Well, we'd be the last one on
earth to argue with his concusions-the
prejudiced Observers conclusions. mean.
However, being Scot land therefore not mod
est, as Jay Sig mistakenly believes) we're
going to remind Eteocles that, to the best of
our knowledge and belief, ct cetera and 50
forth, we're the only living colyumist who
ever penned pome that gave him a full page
free ad in popular magazine of the W. k.
nationwide circulation period exclamation
paragraph.
YOU'RE BOTH WRONG. ELEPHANTS
ARE CERISE.
Mac: Delere NJ. Tremens is crazy. Ele-
plants amt pink. kangaroos are pink. Ele
plants are blue. 7Delere never had the real
Jim Jams or he would know better.
l. N. EBRIATE.
PITY the poor telephone girl One of the
reporters went to the phone tother day. Rock
Island two-one-three-one.' he said. "Rog Islad
wud?' said the voice at the
other end. And the unfeeling reporter laughed.
STUMPED.
Said Johnny Green to old Methus': you've
age and veneration;
Your head is filled with weighty things from
sages of creation.
Experience and teachers wise have taught YOU
many years, sir;
You've sailed down their sound advice-at
least it SO appears, sir.
With complex queries, surmise, no man could
And with designing. subtle tricks no man could
ever bump you
Il do not boast" Methusleh said nor seek
Nor speak with ego And he shook his head
profound and hoary
I'm LID, DID,, MD, AN. and MA too:
I've written wondrous books of things YOU see
out in the ZOO
You'll find the greatest scholars from my pre-
cepts never vary,
Encyclopedia am Ia walking dictionary.
Wars I've foretold, untangled laws kinxs
kotow at my bid.
II there's thing you wish to know Just whis-
per to me, kid"
said Johnny Green, I'm overjoyed, I'm truly
glad to meet you.
l stand in awe of one so great-with rever-
ence l greet you.
OF you question l would ask to rid nv mind
of worry;
Please scholar and philosopher, adjust INV
mental furry.
Ten years ago." continued John, II took con-
nubial blessing;
Ten years since that eventful day I've spent |
in fruitless guessing
At vagaries of woman's mind When she savs
yes no. sir,
Which one she means, or what she wants:
that's what I'd have you show, sir.
II there be light behind this mist that might
perhaps shine through it
I'm all attention, reverend sir-go on and lead
me to it,
shut both his eyes then oned bis
mouth and suffered;
He WINGED and softly stroked his beard-bnt
not word he uttered
Then with a voice scarce audible he slowly |
spake at last:
Il cannot tell you, John; the days of miracles
are past
With protracted guessing parties, John. l. too !
have much to do.
Go ask an older, wiser man You 500 TT, |
married, too"
SOLOMON PIFTTE.
THE railroads were in better physical con- !
iiton at the end of the period of federal con-
rol than when taken over, says McAdoo.