The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1922-07-11

and Iyric) of Clement Wood has never grown
less despite the fact that We read that libidi-
nous tale 1.-THE Comm, which he wrote for
The Pagan year or 80 ago. ~ rs
BUT HIS NAME AMT ART; IT'S AL
Sir: The taciturn Mary has returned from
Europe without the much talked Of tho hum)
"hop-off" on the matrimonial gyration. The
great II do" hegira with herr seems to be
viewed with the same anticipation we used to
experience at the prospect Of q dose Of cod
liver oil. -. Yet there are some who repeat
the performance at every opportunity and seem
to think it most delectable habit. Maybe the
subject an artist has to work on adds sombre-
ness or lustre to Art.
SOLOMON PIFTLEt
THE Germans want to bring the kaiser
back into power, according. to . New Yorker
just returned from Germany. "They think"
he says they would be better or" Huh; II
that's the way they think they're already of!
A Stenog. As Is . Stenog.
IFrom the Austin Masonic News.l
The president Of large automobile
concern in Omaha, Neb.. having had dif-
hculty in getting satisfactory stenogra-
pher, as last resort put the following
ad In local paper:
WANTED: First class high-grade
stenogfapher; salary no object The
0Icuo6Ad pucI uAuSt AVt ~ ~ Iz8t ~ i 01C:
tate, and get 1t right; must be absolutely
accurate; must have human intelligence.
II you are not = cracker-jack, don't both
or me-"
This Is one of the letters received in the
mail the following morning:
Il note your requirements, as aired
In the newspaper. and hasten to make in
Quiry as to this strenuous business that
takes such an extraordinary stenogra-
pner. Your advertisement appeals to me
strongly-stronger than prepared mus
tard-as have searched Europe, Airope,
Jeope and Hoboken in quest Of someone
who could use my talents to advantage.
when il comes to this chin music
proposition. ] have never found man,
woman or dictaphone who could get
first base on me, either fancy or catch as
catch can I write shorthand 70 fast that
have to use specially prepared ner,-
ell. with atplatinum point and q water
cooling equipment that have construct
ed 1t exorbitAnt expense, q note mad
made OF asbestos composition covered
with human hide. ruled with sulphuric
acid and stitched with catgut,
Il use the A. W. ignition, double unit
high-tension system exclusively and will
guarantee to deliver my rated horsepower
under either A. L. A. II, or S. A. E,
standard. / have been passed by the
national board Of Censorship and euar
anteod under the pure food and druR act
Il run with my cut-out omen Al All
speeds. and am in fact q euaranteed
double Systematically welded, drop-forxed
oil-tempered specimen Of human INIT
ming ON . perfect thirty-six frame.
ground to one-thousandth Of an inch. Al
hot air juggling you have nothina On me.
II you wish to avail yourself Of the
opportunity Of = lifetime, wire me: INIT
unless you are fully prepared to nav the
tariff for such services, don't bother M.
- I'm 70 nervous that can't stsnd stili
long enough to have my dresemaker
measure my clothes. Spare your tfme
and money -nnless You want to nav At
least SEQ Pr wsek in cash Of its
equivalent
a STORY from New York says John n
Rockefeller appeared 1t chnrcA last Sunda,
wearing (beaides other tearments} : vfnfe
overccat, heavy munlsr. leather vaistcns
and heaSy-soled shoes. Wsre NJ IN unkin.
coiyumist NJ might white hsllish sort 8
wAeess from that
WH - By IA paper that u crisis n n,
raA strike came Yesterday.
Noble + did: but We didn't hear II c,oar
n ~VenA v11l NJ III.