New-York tribune., 1922-05-21
German Red Tape
Binds Gift Clock
TO Customs House
Stranger Who Tries to Pre-.
sent 1t, Sent From An
other Country, Meets Odd
Examples of Efficiency

LONDON, April 20 (By MaiD.-A
study of German red tape is given to
"The Times" by q correspondent in Ber-
lin.
Not so very long ago." he writes,
"the postman knocked at the door to
say that C. parcel was awaiting me at
the Customs House. Fumblng in his
bag, he produced sheaf of buff
coloured forms and selected one. which
ne presented to me, and. for which l
had to sign a receipt. l thanked him
ana, armed with his present, set off
tull of expectation to claim my own
Il knew that the parcel contained a
clock-an ordinary travellers clock
and | was looking forward to seeing it
IN the near future on my mantelpiece.
But | had not realized what an impor-
tant thing an ordinary travellers clock
is in Germany. There the smallest
things and persons are extremely i'm
portant, not the least being the mag-
nlfcent officials thems selves whose duty
it is to emphasize the Importance of
clocks
Expectantly l entered what might
we'll have been the conference room
of the imperial general staff. The
general staff was there, or. at any
rate, its double, gorgeously attired in
wonderful uniforms of green, adorned
with scarlet facings and gold lace by
the yard. Conferences were also going
on. all over the room in fact, though
how important they were was another
matter. | advanced timidly, buff form
IN hand, and politely asked the nearest
major general (though only customs
offlclal his dress was worthy of that
rank) whether | might not have my
parcel. Yes, | might have it, certainly;
but | must open it frst-for it might
contain a bomb, you know! aE was
present; quite so; had datter to
say SO? What kind of a clock was it :?
An! very important point. 1t might
be patent spy clock for photograph
ing hidden supplies of arms or an
anarchist clock that might blow up at
short notice.
The major general tried to insist
that at least it was "traveler's pocket
CLOCK, at the same time pushing it
INTO his pocket to try to prove his
point. But it did not fit, and he had
TO resign himself to the only solution
namely, that it was a plain travellers
clock
Relieved that no explosion had oc-
CURED, he retired and a conference
OF generals was at once called. After
the question of the nature of the clock
mao he I again discussed, the neces-
sary business of pricing it was entered
INTO they priced hard for ten min
a1es, all looking at it through magni-
lying glasses in turn. Some said it was
made OF gold; some said silver, and
some nickel. and, though they could
not reach an agreement as to what it
was made Of, they were unanimous in
1nelr decision that it was a luxury
lney were, however, quite unable to
agree as to its value. But they all
completely lost their heads when. per-
ceiFing me to tumble with my note
case ana to put it in my pocket, they
az once came to the conclusion (rreat
MINDS m think alike) that I had taken
she mean advantage while the con
lelehce was IN progress and their backs
we're we turned Of seizing smuggled CON
tfaband out Of the parcel.
WIN shout they all rushed
so"afd me, and great was their dismav
on hnding the case to contain marx
notes only. However, to make I'm for
.nis disappointment, the chief malo,
general informed ME with much in
ward pleasure, am sure that he had
once more found victim) that as nv
clock was "loooooxus" of such value.
not ohly would have to pay an ex-
oroltant charge, but also 1t was i'm.
pF,erative that should get permit.
with great dignity he reahhed for
large book: in which he hunted for
some considerable time, finally writing
dewn an address doubtless, / thought.
branch Of the headquarters staff on
a piece OF paper and pompously pre-
sentlng 1T to me. But to add insult
to injury | had myself to pack up the
parcel once more before it could be
returned to its resting place (wlrere
IT still remainsl, while the grand au-
dience looked on. With what relief I
stepped once more into the street!
Great was my anger when, having
at last found the address where the
permit was to be got, discovered that
had been sent to scent shop. Still
greater when the next morning the
postman arrived with more buff forms
to say that the parcel was still waiting
Tor me and to ask ME why had not
taken it away. This, suppose, is Teu-
ton efficiency! do not know when I
shall ever get the clock unless I steal
It. At any rate, the next time that
have one sent to ne shall take great
care that it must be no aristocrat, but
real vulgar revolutionary that will
explode on arrival"