Omaha daily bee., 1922-04-26
PHILOSOPHY.

We watch with "bai,ed" breath the fsh, now
on TO move the decimal poin, in beer place or
two TOWARDS THE RIGHT.
Love in,osiea,es-and marriage is the morn
ing after.
PerpleXed one: Hank. I'm in thouble. What
| would you do IL you were in my shoes.
Hank latter an inspection): Id get a shine.
You don't have 10 listen in on a radio these
balmy days to hear the fish pond and the ball
park calling you.
BANG!
Pa Omaha is on his toes
All set to 60. wot
In two more days the Bufaloes
Will scamper DER the lot;
And on that day we'll welcome here
B. Burch and Michael Finn.
Well pull and haul and root and cheer
The Buffaloes to WIN!
The happy faculty the fans have of parking
their pop bottles in one vicinity simplihcs the
work Of the boys whose duty it is to collect
them
A fellow on the car the other morning re-
marked that girl is not necessarily "fast" simply
because she has run in her stocking.
HIS IDYL.
Johnny had girl
Her name was Mary Gutter
He called her Olcomargarine
For he had no other but her.
Spike
Oh if this be true: The key to success, they
say, is sometimes found on typewriter.
ToDAY'S IDLE THOUGHT.
The reason some men spend so much time at
the Office is because there is no place like home.
The old saying anent cleanliness being next
to godliness furnishes many men with an ex-
cuse to stay home from church to take bath.
Blessed are the peacemakers-for they all
want to inherit the earth.
Some wise nut makes the crack that couple
may marry and live happily on $lS week.
Yeah, but week is the limit
SPRING SONG.
A summers night
moon that's bright,
A pair Of arms,
A nlaiden's charms;
A strangle hold
A whisper bold.
Then one wee kiss
IT'S BLISS.
.. H. H. H.
Dear H.: had that same disease once. You
can get prescription for it at the marriage
license bureau at the court house.
UNIMPORTANT ITEM.
There are some stylish bellies among the Hot
tentot maidens. but they never roll their hosiery
down below the knee
HITS ON ONE THEN. ..
Love is the motive power
That runs our hearts on high,
Till caught out in shower
And our clothes show up the dye.
-Three-in-One.
No girl considers herself permanently settled
in a position as long as she is still single
..m#.# ."..a. 4
When w. Jennings Bryan asked for the Ma
tional Anthem, his auditors rose and sang How
Dry Am"
After they had finished there wasn't dry
eye in the house-but, oh, you throat.
ISN'T IT THE BERR1ESs
~ Womans been a riddle
Since Hector was pup,
But man keeps night on guessing,
He will not give her up.
INCONSISTENCY.
If we lamp them, girls get mad,
And ask for cops to pursue US.
Yet it appears to make them glad
To show their ankles to u.s.
A woman can keep secret about another
woman if it is something real nice.
Easy street is paved with good intentions
that have been carried out.
Spraying the cows" advises farm bulletin,
will increase the flow Of milk
Method of increasing the output used to be
to spray the milk.
A wealthy man out west died and left his
fortune to woman who had refused to marry
him 20 years ago.
That is what we call gratitude.
AFTER-THOUGHT: Heaven-eyes, bring
needle-theres hole in my sock
Success for Them, Certainly.
Whatever the diplomats may think. the Genoa
hotel keepers are sure that the conference is to
be great success.-Springhed Republican.
Taxpayers Isolation.
Subsidies for ships, subsidies for mines, sub