davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-10-14
PUTTING ENGLISH LANGUAGE
 TO AN EXCELLENT USE

The National Restaurant association has taken a step which promises to rob dining In a fashionable eating place of most of it's ter rorA At convention in Washington 1t was decided to print dishes on menu cards in the English language. ''The menu shall be pressed in generally-understOod, plain Aneri- can terms"
 That Is even more important in the eyes of different diners than another resolution de- claring that, "All foods must be inspected and examined before served"
 Hereafter, provided the association lives up to it's commendable determination, 1t will be possible to run ones eye down the bill of fare which will not be called a carte du jour and give an order to the waiter with the as- snrance that comes from knowing what he is doing. Persons whose knowledge of French is limited to such terms as "oo la, la" will not run the risk of ordering something the orchestra Is playing or picking out what appears to be delectable dish with foreign name and dis covering that 1t is nothing but pork and beans OI ptSA SteW 1kSASA SaHVhAiaSSs
 The practice of printing menu in Bremen s indefensible in a country which brides itself on being outstanding and independent. There is no reason why cook can't get results in kitchen without styling himself "chef," there is no excuse for Irish potatoes masquerading as "pommes de terre" and soup Is soup, regard less of what they call 1t in Paris
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-10-14
BRITISH GOVERNMENT FACES
 ANOTHER CRISIS

England is in the midst of the greatest po- litical turmoil that has arisen since Lloyd George became head of the government and 1t appears evident that he is soon to be forced to go before the country in general election to see whether the people are in favor of continuance of his policy. The chief ques- tion of the moment seems to be whether the general election will be held this fall or wait until early next year.
 The situation has been brought to head by the British method of handling the Near East situation, which at one time brought the empire to the brink of another war. But one of the chief factors entering into the plans
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-10-14
Poets and Tobacco

From the Louisville Courier-Journal
 The poets have differed and clashed with praises and denunciations of the "weed' in nearly equal measure.
 Sublime tobaccop' sang Bryan.
 "Perncious weed," chimed in Cowper
 "For thy sake, tobacco, I
 Would do anything but die" warbled Charles Lamb.
 And "rare" Ben Johnson said, 'Tt is good for nothing but to choke man, and fill him full of smoke and embers.'
 All of which is preliminary to the introduce tion of a note from British literary column remarking upon the love fo rtobacco of those two great Victorians, Carlyle and Tennyson. Caryles love of tobacco developed at an early age, it is stated. q learned smoking as schoolo he told William Allingham. ''It is the only creature comfort that has given me any satisfaction. After working for some hours I always have an interude of tobacco" When recording this conversation in his diary Alling ham went on to say: q have more than once heard Carlyle talking about Tennyson's smok- ing, and also Tennyson of Carlyle's. Each thought the other smoked too much-or at all events, too strong tobacco. Tennyson care fully dries his tobacco before putting it in ms pipe which he says lessens the strength, while Carlyle asserts that this process makes It stronger. Tennyson has wooden frame for his pipes, holding IA, which hangs over the chimneypiece of his study, and he smokes No. today No. 2 tomorrow, and so on, coming round in fortnight to Mo- 1 again. Carlyle likes best new pipe, and used, when I first knew him, to smoke new pipe every day, its predecessor being put out at night on the door step for who would to carry it away
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-10-14
HADEs AND JOURNALISM

From the Washington Star.
 From a Constantinople cable:
 Tn prospect of war has brought to Constan- tinople newspaper correspondents of every nationality. The United States leads with f3 writers, Great Britain has II, France ', Italy 4, and the rest are scattered among the smaller countries.
 In speaking of journalism the younger Ben nett was quoted as saying: "A most lmpor- tant thing is to guess where hades will break loose next, and have man on the spot Tn time to describe the explosion"
 Well, the directing journalists are on the job everywhere. Here is the threat of hades, and here are men from all quarters on the spot in time to describe the explosion.
 Numerically, America, as she should, leads Thirteen is an unlucky number. But we need not be alarmed The number will be increased Those on the scene are but the advance guard.
 What is more, these men, from America, as elsewhere, are veterans in the matter of re- porting war Some of them have been so crn- ployed for the greater part of eight years They have ranged over Europe, and know how to handle censors and overcome difficulties Physically and mentally, they are seasoned, and now ready for severe action.
 Whatever there may be to report, therefore, in this comparatively new field of operations should be served up in good style. The story from day to day will be in the hands of men competent to gather the details and tell them Their instructions are, the news, all the news obtainable, and nothing but the news.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-10-14
LETTERS TO EDITOR
TREAT FOR DISABLED VETERANS

To the Editor of The Age-Herald:
 James, one of the old-time servants of God, in general epistle to the believers of his era, uses this striking sentence, Even so the tongue is little member and boasteth great things Behold how great matter little fire kin dlethw
 This is brought to your attention because of the wonderful treat afforded some 200 or mora disabled men in and around Birmingham on October 10 by your kindness in publishing a letter from the undersigned, mentioning the opportunities the public might take advantage of in still giving some practical consideration to these disabled men,
 On behalf of MT. Calvert, the local manager, and on behalf of these 200 or more men them selves, I wish to again thank the Birmingham Age-Herald for this renewed evidence of your consideration for disabled ex-service men.
 Although the idea occurred to MT. Nayior, the advance representative of Sels-Floto circus, we cannot but feel that large part of the ex- pense of securing the tickets of admission to this circus fell to The Age Herald itself, and to you we give our especial thanks
 It Is also desired to convey to Miss Mignon Hall, one of the brightest and cleverest of news paper women, our appreciation of her attrac- tive, interesting and very readable articles Tn connection with this whole affair. We shall always hold her in very cherished memory for the aptness with which she handled this matter of the boys going to the circus.
 With assurances of personal regards and best wishes, l beg to remain, respectfully,
 ROSS c. SPIER, Sub-District Medical Officer, United States
 Veterans Bureau.
 Birmingham, October II, 1922.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-10-14
BEHIND THE HISTORIANS BACK
rom the Kansas City Star.

From the Kansas City Star.
 The Duke of Wellington, at whose hands Napoleon met his Waterloo, was unsusceptible to the flattery of cookery; the route to his heart was not open through the traditional channel. A first rate chef was in the employ to keep the man, prevailed upon the Duke of Wellington to engage him. Shortly after entering the duxas service the chef returned to his former master and begged him, with tears in his eyes, to take him back at reduced wages or none at all Lord Seaford asked: Has the duke been finding fla lt?" "Oh, no; he is the kindest and most liberal If masters, but serve him dime that would make ude or Francatelli burst wi envy, and he says nothingl I go out and leave him to dine on dinner badly dressed by my cook maid, and he says nothing That hurts my feelings, my lord"
 Upon another occasion, in the course of his French diplomatic career the duke was enter tained by one of the most profound connoisseurs of France, who laid lis own and his chefs heads together to produce perfect comDlna- tion of savers, In the confident hope of at last exciting the great conquerors dormant taste and carrying the day by one coup. But all in vain. After seeing with consternation dish afer dish consumed without the slightest symp- tom either of satisfaction or dissatisfaction, the host at length exclaimed, the chef d'oeuvrs was being tranauilly discussed. "There, then, what does your grace say to that?"
 "Well. don't know,' was the reply; T sup pose it Is very good, but really don't care what eat."H
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-10-14
HOW BoRNEo WILD MEN woo

Temple Manning, in the Cleveland Plain
 Dealer.
 Cupid has free hand on the island of Borneo, which lies in the Pacific ocean, south west of the Philippine islands. Here the na- tives who are known as the most savage of head hunters, show real affection and tender ness toward their sweethearts, and go a-court- ing in very civilized fashion.
 The man of Borneo believes that the best way to show the lady of his heart that he loves her is by helping her with her daily tasAs, which include work on the farm. During the day he helps her in the fields, and when eve ming comes carries her wood and vegetables home through the deepening twilight. Per haps. then, he steals little time to tell her what is in his heart
 After the days work is done the suitor goes to his own home for supper, but returns to his sweetheart's hut when he politely imagines her parents are fast asleep. It is usually about 9 or 10 o'clock when he arrives and steals eau tiously into the house. When the young lady appears-for she knows he will call-they sit in the dark in order that the family may not be disturbed by light.
 On the night that the young swain wishes to ask the young woman to become his wife he brings a plentiful supply Of slrlh-leaf and betel-nut with him, which he gallantly offers her. If she accepts the offering, both are happy, and the preparations for the marriage begin immediately.
 But if the young woman does not wish the suitor for husband, she arises with great dignity and says:
 "Please blow up the fire!S
 The parents, who, of course, have been watching the proceedings all along, also ap- pear and tell the man to "blow up the fire"
 But if the suitor is accepted, fowls are killed rice is boiled, and great feast is served. All during the engagement in Borneo youth shows his love for his fancee by helping her with her tasks, taking her to public feasts and giving her expensive gifts.
 The freedom which is given to cupid is about the only trace of civilization among the natives of Borneo.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-10-14

 hooch thought he'd murdered his wife and to tell the police about it. The memory of thar night ought to place him on the water wagon permanently
 If Franklin Bouillon and Mustapha Renal Pasha hadn't been such close friends-like old college chums-there is no telling what might have happened in the Near East.
  The fact that the lady senator from Georgla strums on guitar doesn't lower her a particle in our estimation. It might be different if she played a ukulele. The English Ping Pong association has de- cided to change its name to the Table Tennis association" and hopes thereby to gain some dignity.
 At this time of year great many eulog1es of the 'possum are written by scribes who wouldn't eat one if they knew the possum's habits.
 As they watch the growing power of the Turks, the little Balkan states wonder what is going to become of self-determination.
 * Some of the detectives working on the New Jersey murder mystery must have graduated from a correspondence school of sleuthing.
 * * The Shah of Persia was given royal greet ing in Spain. Something tells us that he will have to witness at least one bull fight. Tom Marshall may not know much about the coal industry, but he has common sense, and that's what the coal industry needs.  By sulking in his tent, metaphorically speak ing, Battling Siki is merely exercising one of the privileges of champion. If Chairman Laskers worst fears are con firmed there will be plenty of vacant state rooms on American liners.
 * x Aviation togs for feminine wear may be serviceable garments, but they don't appeal to ones esthetic sensibilities. It looks If some of the Candler money would go to soothe the lacerated feelings of fascinating widow. Ludendorff adds to the unrest in France every time he addresses a multitude of his ad- mtrers in Germany.
 x It is customary for Americans returning from London, Paris and Berlin to say they like their home town best.
  President Harding receive the members of football team without in any way com hitting himself.
 < X The former Anna Gould is back in America, accompanied by her poodle and her French duke.
 x < It would be good idea to keep religion out of quarrels in the Near East, but it can't be done.
 
 Someone may want them, but personally we couldn't one of Geraldine Farrar's wigs.
  There is always something to talk about over in "Candlervile."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-10-14
WHO HAS KEPT REcoRD7

To the Editor of The Age-Herald
 have been keeping an audit of Andy Gump's campaign expenditures, for the convenience of myself and friends. Some fellow who likes The Age-Herald almost as well as myself has gotten few copies, and my record I fear is not correct. You have the file copies, and l will thank you to give me the total expendi- lures up to and including October 12, 1922 If this election is deferred until November i fear Andy will be broke and number of his Bibb county friends in tears. Yours truly,
 CHAS. B. CARTER. Blocton October 12, 1922
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-10-14
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
 AND ELSEW HERE
"GRAps" RETRosPEcTlVE

"In addition to whatever money the univer- sity raises in Birmingham, there is one fine purpose that this campaign will have served" remarked Dr. B. L. Wyman at the University of Alabama campaign luncheon yesterday.
 "That is the reunion of the Alabama men here in Birmingham at these daily luncheons. It is a fine thing to see the young graduates and the old ones from away back in the nine ties-or further-seated around this table and exchanging stories about their old college days There IS a fine spirit that has manifested itself throughout the campaign thus far, and the suc- cess of the undertaking will be, I am sure, measured only in part in dollars and cents."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-10-14
RADIO MESSAGES BRING HELP
 TOA BURNING SHIP

Again the marves of wireless telegraphy have been Illustrated in drama of the sea. The palatial City of Honolulu caught fire early Thursday morning 660 miles off San Pedro, Cal When 1t was seen that the gallant fight to save her made by the officers and crew would prove in vain, radio messages were sent out the Pacific for help.
 The signals were caught by two ships, the Enterprise of the Matson line and the Thomas, an army transport, westbound from Hawaii. A the appeal and turned toward the stricken ship The distress signals were caught in Los Angeles and San Francisco, and navy vessels stood ready to speed to the City of Honoluiu their help was needed.
 The West Pardon, freighter, was nearer than any other vessel to the burning liner. The freighter was tho first to reach the scene, more than four hours after the flames had forced the last persons on board to take refuge in small boats The old Pacific was In a placid mood, and every occupant of tho boat was saved, PIT in all. Later the transport arrived and calmly waited until morning to take the passengers from the badly crowded freighter.
 Although the fire on the City of Honolulu spread with extraordinary swiftness, and in two hours after 1t was discovered the pas sengers had to leave the ship, there was prac- tically no danger, because the wireless wa. carrying messages for aid. Had such an ac- cident happened before wireless telegraphy was perfected the ships company of the City of Honolulu might have drifted about for days and some of them might never have been found. As it was, the friendship of the sea" assured their safety. No matter where dis tressed ship may be, the thrilling IS s" brings help over hundreds Of miles of water.
 We have grown accustomed to the wonuers of science. Miracles occur every day, but such stories of the sea lanes as the rescue of the City of Honouu's passengers stir the i'm agination.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-10-14
AUDITORIUM NEEDED

Birmingham cannot hope to compete with other cities in attracting large conventions until she has an auditorium" said A. J. Haw- kins, city engineer.
 While in Cleveland and other cities last week, had occasion to observe the kind Of auditorium they have, and practically all of them have huge buildings that seat from 10000 up. The auditorium in Cleveland seated 15,000.
 T will welcome the day, as I am sure every one else in Birmingham will, when we wifi have good auditorium. We can then ask for large conventions to come here, and that means much to a city"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-10-14
POINTED PARAGRAPHS

From the Chicago News.
 You can't be too particular in choosing your particular friends.
 The worm usually turns after it is too late to make a getaway.
 When it comes to stepping into fortune no man objects to putting his foot into it
 When you hear man refer to baby as it" you can safely bet that he is a bachelor.
 When an American heiress is divorced from foreign nobleman she gets rebate instead of alimony.
 A reckless chauffeur is sort of autonaniac.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-10-14
CUTS AND STRIKES

From the Brooklyn Standard Union.
 Railroad shopmen struck because of de- cision in favor of 20 per cent cut in wages, which decision was rendered after due hearing. The farmers took a cut of about 60 per cent or more in the prices of their products-and they never once thought of striking.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-10-14
Blocton, October 12, 1922.
ANDY GUMP AND FORD OFFER

To the Editor of The Age-Herald:
 I have been watching with interest Andy Gumps race for Congress in the comical sec tion of, The Age-Herald, and am quite sure peo- pie in the Muscle Shoals district would like an expression from Andy on this subject, as to whether he favors the Ford offer. If agreeable with Mr. Sidney Smith. please have Andy ex- press himself. Yours truly,
 WALTER DENTON. Russellville, October II, 1922.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-10-14
TITS THE LAST ROSE OF SUMMER

AA1 @Nf <-T-~N "- 7 Thomas Moore. Iris the last rose of summer Left ]blooming alone, All her lovely companions
 Are faded and gone; No flower of her kindred, No rosebud is nigh, To reflect back her blushes, Or give sigh for sighl I'll nos leave thee, thou lone one, To pine on the stem; Since the lovely are sleeping. Go, sleep thou with them. Thus kindly I scatter
 Thy leaves o'er the bed Where thy mates of the garden Lie scentless and dead. So soon may follow,
 When friendships decay, {. And from loves shining circle The gems drop awayl When true hearts lie witherd And fond ones are flown, Oh! who would inhabit
 This bleak world alonef
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-10-14
REPORTS GREATLY EXAGGERATED

Americans always find good friends in the offices of the American Express company, both at home and abroad" said Leo K Steiner who, with Mrs. Steiner, recently returned from extended trip abroad. "Companionable people to be found always, and everything is made so 'at home for the traveller. One thing that I think has been greatly exaggerated about con ditions abroad is the exorbitant prices sup posed to be charged Americans. Things are very cheap in Germany, hotel and restaurant prices being extremely low. Our trip was de- lightful and we met numbers of Birmingham people as well as Americans from other eities.'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-10-14
ERICKSON SAYS "No"

Page the Rev. o. Gordon Erickson.
 q was modestly aware that I may have had somewhat of an ecclesiastical bearing as con ducted church musical programs" said Cor don Erickson, city musical director. "But was hardly prepared to receive yesterday let ter addressed to Rev. O. Gordon Erickson.
 q can account for the error-for assure you it is an error-in other way than that the writer of the letter in question has seen me impressvely conducting church pro- grams"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-10-14
HARD TO TELL FEM NOWADAYS

"We want to get married, squire" "All right, son. Lemme git my spec Where's the girl?"
 Here she is."
 ''Drat these knickerbockersl I thought sls was the best man."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-10-14
HABIT

"See here," bawled the produce merchans to his new assistant. "what do you mean by dropping that basket of eggs?"
 "'Scuse me, boss. That was just force of habit. Before you gimme job I was piano mover"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-10-14
PERMITTED PASTIMEs

When all the ocean lanes are dry And all the ships are shut up tight, The tourists still at cards may vie And hear concert every night.
 PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-10-14
A CITY LAWN

"You need more outdoor exercise"
 "Why, doctor, all summer long l attended to lawn that was 40 feet square," Well, could you use it now for one-hofe golf course?"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-10-14
FoIBLEs OF THE GREAT

sWho is your favorite hero in history?' q prefer Julius Caesar over Napoleon Bona parte.'
 But Caesar had fits"
 "Napoleon had tantrums, and you can hoid a man personally responsible for tantrums.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-10-14
X CURE FoR INSOMNIA

eHow about a little radio?"
 "Suits me-"
 GA fellow is featuring in Pittsburg on eu- genics. Would you care to listen in?" q haven't been able to sleep much lately. Tune up with the professor"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-10-14
ToTING THREE HANDKERcHIEFs

Confound those pesky colds that sneak
 Upon fellow unawares And seize his throat, or chest or beak, In spite of all his prudent cares
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-10-14

The editor of Petit Parisien says, "All mat ters bordering on sexual questions are definite ly barred from our columns" The come papers of Paris have different policy.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-10-14
COMMON SENSE SUGGESTION
ADAPTABLE MOVIES

'Where are the scenes of this photoplay laid?"
 "In the great north woods"
 ''They look familiar"
 Maybe you saw our photoplay entitled, Lost in the Jungles of Africa"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-10-14
A MORNING PRAYER

Give me grace, o Lord to associate my self with. truth and righteousness and beauty, and as a drop of water on rose, shall shine with reflected glory. Amen.- M. s. B.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-10-14
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
THE VOCAL BARDs

How cheerily the poets sing
 Of autumn, thus revealing Pure nature-love and everything
 That connotes tender feeling! Their hearts on sylvan scenes are set,
 Their ardor is unstinted; Unfortunately, some won't get
 Their fall effusions printed
 COMMON SENSE SUGGESTION q don't care much for this vaudeville act" You'll have to admit that the fellow who plays a piano with his feet is talented" "Maybe SO, but if he wants to prove he's an acrobat, why doesn't he get trapeze or set of horizontal bars and go at it right?"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-10-14

 Envy, and crooked malice, nourishment. Dare bite the best. --Henry VIII.
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