Albuquerque morning journal., 1922-11-26
''TThe Birds-T.View 30


Abroad at Home
There is no call for me to go to lands beyond the
sea,
I sit right here at home, good friends, and these
lands come to me.
raise mine eyes to blue sies ana Venice greets
me there;
I view our hills with many thrills for saharas not
more bare.
I hear the words OF "Buenas Dias" and Spain comes
tripping In
Old Mexico calls 'Adios," and in the cafes din
I'm told by John Porkopolis, he of the greasy rag,
OF Smyrna, Turks and other spots, but now he loves
our flag.
A Russian fetches milk each day, the Irish cut my
locks,
Our garden truck a German brings with Jap boy
on the box.
An Indian recalls Persia, from whence he might
have come,
A negro breathes OF Africa and Gods wild creatures
dumb.
A good friend is my Jscotchman another one, a
Swede
Keeps pace with Morse and Danish and one from
Runnymede.
There is no call for me to go to lands beyond the
sea,
lands come to me.
"Ah, Watson, What Do You Make of This?"
Ex-ambassador Sharp was born at Mt Gead,
Ohio, 62 years ago-Journal Headline
Mr.. Sharp was CO years old, otc.--Journal News
Item.
The best joke Of the week is an antique about
Jimmy, a tough KID who was asked by his teacher
the product Of three times three
Nine" said Jimmy.
VERY good, very good indeed" said the teacher
'very good, hell" said Jimmy, That's per-
feet
"Say 1t With Music"
A Chicago wholesale paper house in sending out
Of long past due accounts stamps on
them
Darling Am Growing Old"
People are the most peculiar human beings on
earth
Margaret: The quotation you asked for is: "a
lazy man is OF more use than dead one, and
takes up more room" And, dearie amt it the
truth!
Our Own "Today's Best Thought
Maybe chicken for dinner.
OF course It may not be the case at all but when
persons wear big horn-rimmed specs with buggy
shafts over the ears, we can't help but feel that
there is something about their faces that they are
trying to hide.
Reversing Col. AIphabets English
Sir: The high wind which blew on the Heights
Monday night and Tuesday was quite severe and
at times breeze could even be detected in the
Lowands. Peg Top.
Pullman Cars and Attaches.
Pullman sleeping seats were designed by
a fat man who wore ramrod in his spinal column
and held his stomach in his lap when he sat down.
He never meant the seat to be occupied by man
who likes to pivot about half way up his back
bone, or scrooch down to where comfort dwels
The designer. being fat, was built close to the
ground and was not fretted for some place to put
his feet, as they hardly reached the floor anyway,
and he merely let them swing When a man is
patterned after string bean, the matter of foot
and leg comfort in a Pullman car is no small
affair. II the passenger has luggage there is no
place to put his feet, and If he hasn't luggage there
is no place to put his feet because the person in
the other seat always occupies more than his share
of everything.
The first nighters always wonder why they are
called sleeping cars, because that is what you can't
do in them To quote Mr. Dooley, "Ye go to bed
in Chicago and in the mornin' when ye git to St.
Louis, ye re still awake And again. 'Lasht night
| had an upper. The next time see me friend
Misther Pullman, I expect to ask him how he
expects me to take off me pants while I'm sttin' in
EN-"
II you want drink in a Pullman car and don't
carry large cup, be prepared to quench your
thirst in one swallow relays. If you want to
smoke you'll have to do 1t standing up, as brother
Elks occupy all the seats in the smoking COM
partment. There are more Elks In Pullman smok-
Ing compartments than there are in the Jackson
Hole country. Fortunately. the Pullman variety is
protected, else homicide would increase tremen-
dotisly.
A Pullman car is in charge of conductor and
a porter. The conductor takes up tickets and an
swers fool questions once each trip. Where he
remains in hiding during the rest Of the Journey,
no one seems' to know, and what is more, no one
seems TO care.
You will know the porter because It says so on
his cap. II you look prosperous he answers to
the name Of George. He is very fond of metallic
sounds,--especially slver-but the gentle dropping
OF bill of any denomination on a velvet carpet
will awaken him out OF the soundest sleep His
duties are heavy. but he takes them lightly He
takes your grip when you get on his car, and you
buy 1t back from him at the end Of the trip In
the meantime he has shned at your shoes and