The Washington times., 1922-03-16
'O(la,y
Back High, Front Low.
King canuts's Law.
scattsring Secrets.
One Of 10000 Reasons.

dresses ana 11bulOuD uSSR ~
Americens, decree = follows:
.High In the back and low
IN the front" That ID the
order for evening wear, and aM
skirts are to be long this spring.
Women would like 70 keep the
comfortable short skirts, and
ought to il they would wear
wooden stockings. Hut fashion
rules, and skirts VIII BE- long.
'sHigh In the beck" n half IN
Improvement; it willprotect the
kidneys. Low In front means
lung trouble.
King Canute, Denmayk, who
conquered England and Nor
way, and ruled three countries,
Is the gentleman that rebuked
his seyvile courtiers who said
he could do anything. He sat
at the edge Of the ocean. telling
the waves to. back up, IS the
tide rose. They would not
back, as Hume tells the story,
and the pious king bade his
courtiers remember that only
One could say:
"Thus far shalt thou 60 and
no farther, and here shall thy
proud waves be stayed"
He's been dead almost 900
years, but Canute's law to pro-
tect wives still rules. He said q
wife helping her husband to com
init a crime must be held mno-
cent, on the theory that the hus-
band had forced her to it, since
no wife would dare say No to
her husband. Some modern
wives do not fit into that pic
ture, but quoting Canute's law, .
London court has acquitted Mrs.
Peel, society lady, who helped
her husband swindle boolmakers.
Captain Peel wired bookmak-
ersJ making bets on winners after
the race. He bribed the telegraph
agent to mark kilograms as Of an
earlier hour. English bookmak-
ers settle according to the hour
marked on the telegram.
British experts are invited to
take for their use all American
secrets in making poison gas.
American chemists have invented
one gas Of which ! single flyer
couId esrry enough 70 destroy an
entire city.
All our war secrets are offered
freely to England, and thisvd0ss
not surprise you, for IN some
queer way, apparently, the
United States is supposed to be
under the protectorate Of the
British Empire.
Has England returned the
compliment and confided to as
the secrets of her mysterious
recent ship construction, or her
helicopter experiments, so care
fully guarded?
What about Japan? Will Eng
land hand on to her Eastern ally
secret information she gets from
our chemists--and IL so, will
American inventions for asphyxi-
ating cities be tried first on some
California city by Japanese fly
ing machines? Isn't 1t possible to
be too liberal with war secrets,
even in dealing with dear old
England?
One Of ten thousand reasons
for NOT paying the soldier
bonus relates that the Govern
ment must pay billions in dam.
ages to contractors that found
themselves forced to stop work
when the war ended suddenly.
Observe that, please.
What about soldiers that gave
mp their jobs and everything
else when that war suddenly
STARTED and found them
selves idle and in debt when IL
stopped7 Are they entitled to
no consideration Is this a
Government for contractors
onfyf
Before the Sultan ,ate, his
cook and prime minister tasted
each dish; that guarantee
against poison comes back in
prohibition.
A maiden lady, living in q
big hotel, requires q little whis-
key for her stoniach's sake. A
trusted bellboy IN her purveyor.
Warned that she might swal-
low wood alcohol some day she
said: Every month when
George brings my new bottle
make him take good drink Of
It before my eyes and before I
pay him. Then I put the bottle
away and watch George for
three days. II he does not die
or go blind / know it's safe for
49, - ,xoa ;fv Thntss . <~,,~