Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1922-11-18
WAS stopping one day this sum.
y NOR for A hrie{ half hour with a

WAS stopping one day this sum.
> iitr for a brief half hour with a
q woman whose house passed in the
!. geuree Of a mornings stroll. She was
- her piazza doing nothing. IN par.
0golar, and "a was crossing her road.
Y voy and we were neishtor it was an
easy thing for both Of us to drop into
casual talk. Presently out came her
doughter, who was visiting her. and In
. moment out came the daughter's little
poy OF six or 40. who had escaped from
nie nurse or his nap. or his morning
smack In the pantry perhaps, and
had 1t In his head 10 play In his sand.
pile. First his grandmother and then
hie mother adiurcd him to stop and ba
polite and say good morning to me. H.
did not wish to and unfortunately for
10 both. he said as much. Wh"rcupon
q struggle ensued that entaied som"
eort Of a punishment and >cufTle in
doore and his gradual emcrgcnce on 70
the porch. tear stained and sullon
There cnsued a complete break in tho
eonversation among the grown ups
while he extended tense and erlmy
band in my direction. and on my taking
it chcrrfully and casually there was n
eobbing and yet srowline muttcr from
him of Good morning and then II
hasty withdrawal Of hs hand as he
made an abrupt departure.
He could not have dislik"d the on.
eounter more than did and wished
heartily that had not stopped for
that chat. For. to be doomed to serve
40 pointing moral TO a child who has
no other relation to yon than that you
ere a source Of punishment. is really
very depressing. do not know how
children ought to acquire manners. bur
/ am sure that complete strangers 10
them should not be adapted BY enhar
rassed parents as dummies for the try
Ing on Of polite department.
A GENUINE sweetness OF behavior.
"A what we call good manners. in
order to be n genuine habit should
6egin with the person the child loves
and knows best and then be extended
gradually outward. II hs connects
courtesy and oblisngrass with loving,
Il 10 sure to spill over into action with
his liking, and If nothing has made him
scared or solt conscious with strangers.
Q sort Of demure little shadow OF
courtesy will appear in him with th"m.
At least that has been my experience
with children who have been mannerly
to their mothers and nurses as part Of
their loving.
But to begin from the rim and work
into the center with n child and max"
him polite with perfect stranger when
he Is never polite with his mother.
places manners where they belong to
far too many OF us--on the outside.
/ once had frishtful tusse with a
whole village in the matter Of the males
taking on their hats when they greeted
their women folk. II would have been
none Of my business. except that hap
pened that season to be a teacher in the
school Of the village and l had lot of
those boys but they had never learned
to be polite - their own womrnfini.
and they were unconsc.ousiy very rude
to all women. They just stared Gnd
nuttered something when yoI nodded
good morning 70 them on tho street.
There was Il fearful ruction among the
older folk when the boys went home
one day and announced that they were
required TO take OF their caps-no mat
ter what--ii I spoke to them on the
street. She thinks herself better than
the rest Of US. was pretty much tho
verdict. I realized that l had begun
pretty thoroughly before I tackled 1t a
second time.
Why did men take of their hats tc
women. anyway? I realized Il had
something 10 do with women being the
mothers Of the race, the bearers Of life.
And in n sense man who honored
his mother, honorpd other women un-
consciously because o: her. Tha, is
putting into words something that Is
more an inst!nct thnn defined feeling
but suspected that If the village
on TO them they would complaisantiy
acqniesce in their including even an
outsider Ike m" in the general gesture
OF courteous consideration.
GO THAT is what I insisted on, that
they should take of their caps to
their own and to one another,'s mothers,
and when they grew up 10 their wives
They got that idea very quickly. And
that little motion Of politcrass came 50
easily 10 them presently that they in
cluded girls as well MS their mothers
in fact. all womonkirl suppose
when they realized that Il was NOT
difference TO n class. buy the acknowledge
ment Of n debt that they felt no hu-
initiation TO remain forever obligated
for, they lost all sense OF its being n
kowtow invented by swells. At any
rate, It worked in that village, not only
b the last boy. but to the last man.
4Vu IiNN sUN l'!ul 1uhlNS on YOUR
hat 10 your mother. II she mods 10 YOU
IN the street. is. after all. a very su,er g..
hcial way OF acknow Lodging your deb,
to her, not &c speak of your affection
for her. And 50 It is My only poin,
with those boys was thnt II they did
not bother to greet their mothers 20
litely they we'e not likely 10 do bet
ter by their wives eventually, and Ger
tainly not to the general run of women
Of II they were noitc here and there
It was on'y surface gesture, TOO easil,
forgotten To be Of any VISA"
-" ] was pretty young when I had thu
experience but I learned more than
taught during TINT summer school scs
sion from that cne episode.
VOU have got to love some person
4 or at all events fondly depend o.
q person, or greatly admire his or h."
qualities. before you can acquire ,h
he4innrgS. the essentials, Of courtrs
that you are learning to practice. One,
learn those essentials by practicing then
on the person who attracts YOU. YOU 60
the general habit of them, for that per
sons sake. The point is you brgi.
to change and to grow because Of SOM
person, and in order to please and I,
attract the favorable notice of tha
8nPHOn.