The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1922-01-06
'PUSSYFOOT- is BACK; SAYS HE
LIKES HO0CH
JOHNSON, CELEBRATED PROHEBI-
TIGN. ADMITS INDIA MAY GO
DRY II 1000 YEARS.-ON WAGON
FOR II YEARS

DRY II 1000 lEARS.-ON WAGON
FOR 10 YEARS
New York. Dec. 23-"Pussyfoot"
johnson breezed into town today on
the Adriatic. and took a bucking taxi
to the offices of the Anti-SaloOn
League. where, along toward the dusk
hour. he acted as host to a flock of
exceedingly dry reporters, recounting
snapBy stories of India. picked up in
his recent four-months tour in behalf
of the Gospel of the Suppression OF
Navy Blue JimjamS and the face on
the barroom floor.
During the course a reporter with
an inquiring mind asked "Pussyfoot' ii
he liked "hOoch."
Sure. like it, replied "PussyfoOt.
smaeking his lips reminiscentlv. why
not? | love it. Put that in the paper.
SAY that 'Pussvfoot' Johnson says he
loves whiskey, for does not the Holy
Scripture place upon us the injunc-
ton, Love thine enemy? Does low
ing your enemy consist in trying to
put him out OF business?" He flashed
his famous low-cut, evening dress !
smile, and went on TO explain that he
went on the wagon" Il wears ago.
In the last decade and a half, he |
says he hasn't tasted liquor. He says
he has no longing for it. He says he ,
cannot remember the name of the /
town where he had his last drink nor .
whether he took a high ball or wills
Ky straight.
IF you went back to that town and |
took another drink there today" said
the reporter. you'd never recognize
the old stuff"
They tell me the quality is pretty
low" said Pussyfoot.
That's your fault" said the news
paperman.
Il did the best | could" replied Pus-
syfoot.
Well having lowered the quality"
said the reporters. don't you think
you could do something to get the
price, if not altogether down, at least
To about half-mast?"
In India" said Pussyfoot, there
are $1,000 900 people. OF this number
G2. UU0, 600 OF them drink Cur task is
to make them see the error of their
ways"
You mean the 253,000,0O0 who do
not drink"
No" said PussyfOot, patiently, the
G2OOO. 600 who do drink"
Are the people in India anything
like the people in America" Pussyfoot
was asked. DO they subscribe in theo-
~ to Il morality they are unwilling to
put into Bractice?'
There are over 100000 villages in
India" said PussyfoOt. ignoring the
question. The people speak 100 diff
fcrent dialects"
AT that rate" said tie reporters.
III You went out personally to dry
clean India. it would take you in the
neishborhOod of 200O years before
you'd he ready to turn India over to
the tender mercies of the Friendly
Sons OF Volstead."
whereabouts" said Pussyfoot. Pus-
syf0ot SAYS he was received like Il
king wherever lie went in India The
reporters reminded the great reform
er that of laIe kings have been hand
cd the ancient and honorable raZZ
PusSyfOOt said no, no; no. indeed He
had not been raZZed. Lots of towns he
hit he said they closed up everything
except the saloons and the people
gave themselves over to merry-mak-
ing once he rode on an elephant, he
said.
INA YOU ever flGe on camel?'
asked a reporter.
Talking about kidding" said Pus-
sy10ot. with apparent irrelavancy.
coming over on the steamer a lot OF
chaps in the smoking-room ragged me
Il bit. They asked ME constantly when
the next drink was to he served. I've
observed that all drinkers are oases-
sed with that one inquiry: When is
the next drink coming?"
You'll find, now that you're back
IN the United States of America" said
The reporter, that the query among
The bright young drinkers here is not
when is the next drink coming but
Where is the next drink coming
ROM"
Somebody asked if he had ever
'ead that touching line of Kipling:
You're better man that I am, God
Ion Gin"
Pussyfoot laughed and said he new
II had. And just before leaving the re-
porter said: do you think prohibition
viii ever return to the United States?"
prohibition" said Pussyfoot, in a
achrymose tremulo, prohibition, like
he poor, you will always have with
GU"
Merry Christmas, Pussyfoot," said
he reporters, as they rose in body
Merry Christmas to YOU" said Pus-
yfoot, dryly.