Grand Forks herald. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1916-1955, 1922-03-10
CHATTER l.
Cousin Pcrcy's Little Joke.

I suppose every one has had the ex-
perience of waking in the middle OF
the night to find everything perfectly
still and quiet and normal, and vet
with the impression persisting that
there had been a tremendous crash of
some sort just before the waking
senses were alive enough to realize it.
1t was some such r7Hng Jolt as this
n a was given me on the morning
when 1 was called in, with the other
members of the family, to listen to the
reading of my grandfather's will.
But, first, however, to give some
idea of the conditions precedent, as a
lawyer would say. My father-good,
easy-going, comfort-loving Dad!-
never owned what Grandfather Dud-
ley. pursuing his thin lips and swapping
n words out, called "the money
sense" AS an architect high in his
profession and with fine artistic feel
Ing for he beautiful in buildings, he
earned a liberal income-and spent it;
or 50 much Of it hat there was barely
enough left after his death to provide
Tor my mother and sister, and to keep
me going, as you might say, in an *
ceedingly modest manner. Without
work, I mean. I may as well confess,
at once, that I had never acquired the
work habit. I was always going to-"
but it was so fatally easy to keep on
postponing the chilling plunge. I sup
pose l had been ready on at least half
a dozen occasions to take a dive into
some pool with a salary attachment,
but always some good friend would
bob up to say. ooh, come on, Stannie,
old man; we're lacking just one more
to make up the bunch. Don't be q
clam. Time enough to settle down
when you have to-" and then it would
be all OF.
Besides, you see there was always
Grandfather Jasper in the back
ground. He had money-lashinss of It,
so we all believed; and it had. been a
family understanding for years that
he intended splitting the bulk of it,
ffty-fifty, between my cousin Percy
mi me. Before we go any farther, let
me set it down that Cousin Percy wa
and is-all the seventeen different
kinds Of things that I am not, and
groomed, a grind" in college and a
perfect dear" with the girls am
bilious as the very devil, and measur-
ing his friends by the amount OF
pull" they might be able to exert in
his behalf; there you have him from
he crown Of his weIl-brushed little
head to his patent-leather pumps.
You're a fright. aannie." he would
say, in his carefully published diplo-
matte manner-he had a billet in the
department Of state at Washington,
and was in training for the legation
service abroad-"you are a perfect
lege, and you haven't done a single,
solitary useful thing yet. When are
you going to begin? And, incidental
~, how long are you going to keep
Asette waiting"
"Oh; Lord!-right there was anoth-
er knot In the tangle-IAsette. We
had agreed to agreo-IAsette and Il
some Gx months or 20 in adavnce Of
Grandfather Jaspers death, and we
were both perfectly we'll assured, and
had assured each other a dozen times,
that my income from Dads estate
wasn't moro than half big enough to
marry on. You see, 1t was this way;
Lisette was n Of q family OF four
girls in q mighty expensive household,
and there was t anything to lean on
on that side OF the fence. Though,
Of course, We never discussed It b-u-
tally, In 20 many words, We were, wait
ing for that fifty Fifty tlook-in at the
win which family tradition declared
had already been drawn up, signed,
sealed, witnessed and put away in cold
storage; otherwise In the bookkeeping
Of Grandfather Jasper's family law
yer.
All oftwhich may serve to bring ~
back to that nightmare effect regis
tered at the start. When the Dudley
will was taken out OF the icebox and
read to the assembled members OF the
family, there were at least two shock
ing surprises. Jasper hadn't been any
where near ~ rteh a. We had all been