Evening star., 1922-07-02
AUNT LUELLA
BY sEWELL FORD.

due to a hunch of my own. and
| for the first few minutes after
getting my lucky break l believe
! l did. But on thinking back to the
start expect I've got to hand most
of the credit to the poor fish in the
next block who's trying to make a
| saxophone player out of himself. If
| it hadn't been for him-well. l hate
| to think of how many dreary Sundays
| we might have dragged out here.
Perhaps some folks know just how
to get through hot Sunday in New
/ York and still keep stranGle hold
on their disposition. I'll admit that
our merry little trio hasn't acquired
| the knack. We start in brave enough
with a light breakfast and the Sun
| day papers, and generally we can last
until noon without biting each other
on the shoulder. But by o'clock
none of>us is fit to live with. ! can
stand the heat and the smells and the
noise. but not the monotony. Inez
! doesn't care how dull things are but
| 90 degrees Fahrenheit. humidity 56.
(; is bound to get on her nerves. And
Uncle Nels. who has a hard enough
time living in the city anyway. gets
restless.
lnF course. from all the excursion
- ads and railroad folders you can
figure out lots of places to go over
the week end. But after one or two
trips in a Saturday and Sunday mob
we decided that the little old top
floor studio was good place to stay
in. Ever try to go to Coney Island
up the Hudson or out to the Bronx
zoo when a couple of million other
folks were headed for the same spots?
That's the trouble with New Workers.
They're too blamed unanimous.
Also 1t seems that most of 'em
aren't so fussy about getting into
jam. They get hardened to it. l sup
pose. But to start holiday by bor-
ing your way into a sweltering crowd
around gate No. 10. waiting for half
an hour or SO with a strange. foreign
gent breathing garlic fumes down the
back of your neck. another jabbing
his elbow into your ribs. and per-
fectly unknown baby drooling over
your shoulder-that's my idea OF
nothing at all to do. And when you
follow that up with a day spent
scrambling for seats on crowded
excursion train. milling about al some
resort. and riding home In the same
car with a bunch of playful young
{c h.
house the brakeman-wen. l pass 1t
up!
Yet it's either that or stick in town.
Maybe you know, too. what the East
Side is like after the temperature has
been we'll warmed up. You cannot
onlv feel the heat pouring in the win
dows to wilt you. but you can see 1t
ouivering in giddy waves from the
pavements and roofs. You can even
smell it, And. somehow, the roar OF
the l. trains and the snarl OF the gen.
eral traffic is louder when the mer-
curry climbs Then, IL you add an
amateur saxophone player doing MS
worst not a hundred feet away. you'll
get the picture.
n
this near neighbor of ours. He had
pop-eyes and aeroplane ears ana tne
complexion of a cheese pie. Also lot
some mystic reason he preferred TO
do his Orpheus act in sleeveless un-
dershirt and faded blue socks, with
his feet propped on the window Sill
Probably he didn't want us to miss
any feature of the performance "hen
he tackled the Home Again Blues.
but I'll say he was tempting 1ate.
During the first hour of the agony
wondered how straight l could thro"
a ripe egg if l had one. but after we
had stood three hours of 1t / yearned
for sawed-off shotgun and an eye
like Annie Oakleys. 1t was exactly
BIS. remember. when he finally blew
himself out and 1 gradually stopped
seeing red.
such a pest" says 1nez. You
think he gonna do that all summer
Trilby May?"
"If he does" says I. Il see where
I'm liable to add to the crime wave.
7 can almost read the headlines in the
morning papers. Slain While Playing
Saxophone. Prominent Pastry COOK
Stricken Down by Frenzied Assas-
sin. Skull Crushed by Electric Iron
Janftor Remembers Seeing Red
Haired Young Woman Climb Fire
Escape. Police on Her Trail"
1NEZ barely blinked an eye at that
"Could-could you hit him hard
enough?" she asks.
See here. Inez. let's drop this.
says l, before the idea gets fixed
in our heads If we could only get
away somewhere for the week end
Louisa does" suggested Inez. "She
shuts up her delicatessen shop and
goes yisitin' her sister Julia by Sim
gas. New Jersey"
Yes, that's all right for her, says
1, but I have no sister in Singac or
anywhere else"
THAT Madame Latour. who runs
paper flower factory on second hoor,
goes on Inez, "she goes out to see her
cousin on Staten Island
well, that's stretching the bonds
of consanguinity a bit" says l. but
in a pinch like this l believe I'd use
even a second cousin If l could locate
one"
.,Ain't YOU got no relations on east
here,. asks Inez. II thought you told
me-
"waitw 1 breaks in. You're quite
right. Inez. Paw Dodge did hail from
\