Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1922-12-06

/ Juyfully the man hired taxi to
take him home and when he arrived
there inquired the fare
Fourteen thousand kronen, replied
the chauffeur.
Fourteen thousand kronenp eiac-
ulated the indignant passenger" You're
a robberi I'll pay nothing of the sort.
Anyway | have only twenty kronen
gold piece with me-"
chats all right" returned the
driver. Hand it over. You'll get
$4,000 paper knonen in change"
The passenger scratched his head.
Hold on" he said. II guess you'd
! better drive me back to the asylum.
think they made little mistake in
my case"
HighbaIl!
Shortly after going into the front
| lines for the first time, the captain of
an Infantry company was reading to
his men an order from division head
quarters, the big idea being to inn
press them with the fact that duds are
dangerous articles and not playthings
After the usual headquarters line of
language as to disastrous results from
carelessly flirting with buds, the order
concluded:
"Duds should be treated with the
greatest respect"
There was silence in the ranks for a
moment and then a voice drawled
Say, Cap'n, wotinell do they want
US to do to these here duds-salute
'em 2"
n
Needed the Practice
Ethel. ffWhu Hid Won insist IN n
civil wedding before the church cere-
mony?"
Clara: Really, my dear, thought
it best to familiarize myself with
court proceedings at the start"
\ n 4
Finally
Marjorie, have you been smoking ?
No, mother.
But your breath smells of tobacco.
Father kissed me goodbye.
But father doesn't smoke.
/ know it, mother, but his stenog
does.
Prayer Came From the Heart
Representative Christopherson of
South Dakota, tells good story about
darby who was short of meat at
home and selected his pastors smoke
house as likely place to get nice
ham. As he was leaving with big
one under his arm the pastor sudden
ly appeared before him and said:
why, Sambo, what are you doing
in my smokehouse at this time of the
night?"
To which the trembling darby re-
piled: "Ah sub, All just come in to
pray, subj"
Whereupon the pastor said: eff
that is the purpose of this visit here,
then you just get down and pray"
Thereupon the darky sank on his
knees, raised his eyes and hands to
heaven and offered up this prayer:
ooh, Lord, | pray that you now
promptly dismiss us so that we may
promptly disfiss us so that we may
depart in peace. Exchange
n = y
Guilty
The deaf buck to the sentry cried
81 didn't get your word of warning;
I'm deaf, you see," but the guard re-
you'll get your hearing in the
morning"
Fair Warning
Sign in a small bakery in an Ala
| bama town:
please do not handle the bread as
it is not sanitary"
Something Wrong
The new arrival had lust passed be-
| yond the pearly gates and was gazing
around curiously. Suddenly his face
grew pale.
"Wha-What?" he gasped. Surely
this isn't heaven?"
1T certainly is" St.Peter treasured
him. what makes you doubt it,"
why, it can't be-" demonstrated the
! latest citizen. THAT angel over there
| in the corner used to be a New Work
taxicab driver"
Business Only
Riggs: That DR.. Sims is quite a
wit, isn't he?
Higgs: Eyes, but there's a sinister
motive behind his humor. His idea is
to make his patients laugh themselves
sick"
At Least Chance
A small boy in Chicago school re-
fused to take part in a sewing lesson
on the ground that it was beneath his
dignity.
IGOl &c " etGAAAAA&bOi SGWEu . DaAA
the teacher, taking it for granted that
every soldier has TO do it at times.
"You don't consider yourself better
than Washington do your"
81 don't know; time viii tell" re-
piled the boy.
y y
The Leading Lady
II am going to kiss you as soon as
stop he said as he prepared to slow
up at a scheduled spot.
81 know it" she giggled
Later he wondered why the brake
Innings were burned out.
= = =
"Has anyone seen my b-b-blanket?"
demanded shivering buck on one Of
those typically sunny French morn
ings.
Nobody had-for purposes of pub
LEGATION, anyway.
"Has anyone seen my b-b-blouse7"
Nope.
"Well", said the buck, after a mo-
ment's elaboration, "I'm g-g-glad I've
g-g-got on nice warm b-b-belt, at
any rate"
Almost Saved
"Hi, Pat, did the fan hurt you
much 2" cried Tim, as he ran TO the
foot Of the scaffold.
ffY1s,--,1a a HE - $4,000 Es.A esk.~,k