The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1922-12-26

dressed, Use comm jest as soon as
1 gifts started and doesn't stop
nowheres.''
Nearly thirty years ago Bob In
gersoll said he would believe in
hell when Kentucky elected a Re-
publican Governor. What does he
say-wherever he is-to Scotland
having sent a Prohibitionist to Par
lament?
Miss Lloyd. who finds in his New
York address Governor Morrow did
not reveal the slightest likeness to
Marshal Foch, should at least give
the Governor credit for having
commissioned more Colonies than
Foch ever saw.
Ere long it will be possible to
send a letter by airplane at least
three miles a minute, but married
women will reflect that the latter
may remain parked in one of the
pockets of huDby's coat while the
plane goes scooting across the sky.
Some Bourbon county farmers
are becoming so spoiled by labor
saving devices they would no doubt
be delighted to hear that Luther
Burbank, the plant wizard, has
grated the currant onto a corn
stalk and produced a self-shOcker.
The real ray of hope for Paris
and Bourbon county is in those en-
ergetic men and women who are so
busy trying to do something for the
good of the city and county that
they have no time to discuss with
one another whether or not things
are going bad.
L After looking at that picture of
the lady Tilted by the Kaiser. and
considering portraits of the other
|lady who led him to the altar, we
fare quite unable to discover how
The could tell them apart. Come to
think of it, perhaps that was what
was the matter.
A Paris man who has had a num-
Der of unpleasant experiences as
victim of automobile accidents,
says: Another serious objection to
being killed in an automobile acct
dent is that everybody would think
you were drunk, whether you re-
ally were or not"
According to statistics there are
twenty-three millionaires in the
State of Kentucky. Only one of the
number is newspaper man, and he
inherited his millions. Not one of
country newspapers.
Somehow or other it doesn't add
to Christmas to make a journey on
, trolly car. How glorious the
memories of other days, when we all
piled into the old bob-sled, mingled
with hay and buffalo robes, and set
sail for grandmother's to have a
real family Christmas dinner.
If only we might accept all the
joys of life as children accept their
Christmas toys-surprised at each
gift as if it were too much to ex-
pect, satisfied with it as if it were
just what we wanted, and too glad
with what we have to be discon-
tented over something that has not
come.
The meanest man has been dis
covered, but as yet not been caught.
Down at Dover the other night a
colored woman evangelist was con-
Quoting a revival, and while she was
lpraying with some. of the female
lsinners at the mourners' bench,
some. thief stole her $50 bank roll
out. of her stocking.
4 Clemenceau sailed for home with
the good wishes of all and the ad
Imiratlon OF That element In America
which loves Sa fighter and respects
a battling veteran. II the old par
Humanitarian has listened and pom
dered while on this side he will be
able to tell Poincaire that Ameri-
can sentiment is all fed up on
French bluster and cannot long be
retained if a policy of aggression,
rather than that of reasonableness,
is to be followed as the only way
tout.
A lady of stupendous dimentions
stylishly dressed, entered a Paris
store, and seated herself to be
waited upon. Soon a baldheaded
clerk came up to serve her. After
rejecting this and that pair of
shoes she decided upon a pair of
brown Oxfords. The clerk knelt
down tn 1aoo thom and che pa1pd