Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1922-10-11

to him:
Wasn't it very hard to do all this ?"
"Naw", said Joe, ~most of it was
easy as anything
what was the hardest part of it %
she asked.
"Getting eight plunks out of pa"
said Joe.-Radio Age.
4 4 n 4
WOMAN
She will live longer with an unde-
serving mate than any known animal.
She will forgive oftener than an
angel.
She will make herself ridiculous if
she thinks it attractive.
She will pay Is cents carfare to get
81 article for 1898.
And she will go to heaven and be
Observation-Disclosures Times Dispatch
y y y \
EPITAPH!
"Here Lies a Fisherman"
They keep it up even when they
are dead.-Times Dispatch.
X X X Il
Young America
Do you remember when you were
ten and steered your mother to the
toy department?
Yes. My little daughter of the same
age now steers me to the diamond de-
partment.
= y y r.
ALL SET
I'm thinking of shooting my hus-
band and / want to retain you as my
lawyer.
But, my dear madam, isn't this a
rather unusual proceeding?
Why, no, indeed. thought the NEXT
thing to do was to engage lawyer,
as I've already had photographs tax
en- and ordered some new gowns.-Bir-
mingham Age Herald.
YOU KNOW THE KIND
Barber-Razor all right, sir?
Victim-My good man, if you hadn't
mentioned it, should never have
known there was razor on my face.
Barber-It's very kind of you to
say so, sir.
Victim-Not at all. l thought you
were using a file,
The young girl-Ma, why do they
keep animals at the telephone Office?
Mother-Why, child, what gave you
such an idea ?
The young Girl-Because when l
called pa up the lady told me the
''lion's busy.
MARCHING ALONG
The encouraging thing about the fu-
ture is that there is so much of it.
TAKING THE MESSAGE
Take the message and III get it
from you later.
Your little girls wants to kiss you
over the phone, explained the stenog
demurely.
Mother-Bobby, how many times
have ! told uou not to beat that
drum?
Bobby-six, mother.
Billy Clark says even an amateur
gardner can raise an astonishing va
riety of blisters.
SAFETY FIRST
81 want" said the little girl, enter
ing the general store, "ive pounds of
sugar, bar of chocolate, bottle of
milk, pound of butter and pound
of shelled nuts. Then / want roll
of cotton batting, some gauze, tube
of vaseline and bottle of olive oil"
'Why, what's going on up at your
house?" asked the storekeeper, lie
somebody sick ?"
"No" replied the child, sisters go
ing to make fudge"
With Bryan telling the past and
Doyle telling the future, the only
thing doubtful is the present.
- u
A couple of niggers were talking
and one said Say Bob, where did you
git dat girl i saw you with last
night?- saint she some swell mig
ger?" said the other. "She sho isl.
was the answer. did you see dat
great big red hat what she wore?
Did you see dem two toned shoes? /
bot dem shoes and hat. Did YOU see
dat lovely blue dress she wore? I bot
dat also. Did 70 see dot fur she had
on her shoulders? / bot dat too. Did
you see dat pretty fine baby she was
carrying in her arms? Well, dat was
her sisters
Ma, how old is that lamp?
Three years.
Turn it down then, it's too young TO
smoke.
q
THE PRAYER ANSWERED
A young lady went into music
store and asked for "The Maiden's
Prayer" The salesman gave her a
copy of Mendelssohn's Wedding March
OVERHEARD IN A CIGAR STORE
l want to get a package of tobacco
for my husband.
What kind?
| don't know the name, but it has a
picture of a COW on it.
= SrS
Happiness is like perfume, You
cannot sprinkle it on others without
spilling few drops on yourself.
y y y
ASK DAD, HE KN0WSi
A teacher asked a class Of small
what was the most wonderful
thing ever made. A little girl on the
back bench spoke up "a living for