The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1922-06-03

which shortened up when you swung.
A1ilt is a gentleman He didn't
even smile. when 1 swanE agRia.
This time something happened. L
don't knew what it vas but at any
rate the ball disappeared. 1t went
down the moved path ahead of it.
toward the next black splotch, like a
butterfly on urgent business.
Great Grief" said Nilt, and stood
watching its flight. 81 hate likell
to think you drove 200 yards. but
that's about what it looks from here"
treated myself to a hoarse chuc-
next move. We picked up the bag OF
weapons, and started to walk down
the fairway.
Talking to the Ball
Mi1t overlook his ball, and again
addressed it This time he addressed
it aloud and in earnest. and when
his club described its arc, by some
strange quirk of fate, the ball was in
its way. 1t lifted and went bowling
across the fair landscape. Milt talked
to it till it was out of sight, and the
more he talked, the faster it sailed.
You'd never believe how much a
golf ball looks like a ripe white,
fluffy dandelion head, until you had
searched for the one among acres OF
the other. II I didn't know that golf
balls are inventions of the devil and
probably manufactured in his own
private factory, I would havs believed
IIldL the shawnee CIuD grows It's own
golf balls on its own course.
Milt finally found my ball among
the dandelions, and I nonchalantIy
squared away to drive another two
hundred yards. The same thing hap
pened that happened on my first
drive. The club handle suddenly
shrank into itself, my grip slipped,
and the club went nearly to the next
green.
We retrieved it. and after three
= - Il
ball, and knocked it a puny twenty
yards
'WeH,'' said MiIt, kindly you sent
it in approximately the right direc-
ton. Everything else about the per-
Torrance was wrong" Fourteen
times I repeated the stunt, and the
fourteenth was no more productive
of distance than the first. I could
have picked up the ball and carried
it on salt spoon. to the green, with
fewer stops and consuming less time.
But I got it there eventually.
Milts ball nestled in the grass just
off the misnamed green" after he
had whacked it couple more times.
Lying Four.
I'm living tour" he announced.
was surprised that he would adj
NIT it. I never would have caught
him in the untruth. have known
AIilt to misstate the facts in connec-
ton with the card which lies face
down, but didn't believe he would lie
about his golf score.
you're lying fourteen" he added,
No man can accuse me of lying. and
get away with it. unless he proves
that L am lying, and I waxed indig-
| nant 1 counted carefully and con-
| scientiously and if fourteen wasn't
| the right number, it was an honest
| mistake. not an intentional falsehood.
Before my wrath permitted me to
enter my protest. Alilt rubbed salt on
1 the open wound.
You're in a bad lie, there, too" he
said.
Why in the name of perdition my
| lie. if hal accidentally told one,
was a worse lie than the one he had
| just admitted, was beyond me-
| Milt explained, and my respect for
| the perminology of golf went down
another notch. Deliberately tnislead-
| ing. I call their idiotic chatter
| Another instance of this came out
a little later Milt, after making a
| careful inspection of the un-resisting
white sphere which 1 had been mall
| treating all over the shop, issued the
| pronouncement; That is a brassy
| shot"
Then he ranmag ed about among
| the deadly weapons in the bag ana
produced solid wooden club. with
not enough brass on it to make set
/ of buttons for a policeman's uniform.
| balls into a tomato can half full of
| water. which was sunk in the center
| of the green. We fished them out
| again, and went on with the silly
performance
| I have heard golf highly spoken
of by several persons for whose men,
tai equipment and attachments in