The Covington leader. (Covington, Tenn.) 18??-current, 1922-11-02
HOW 10 RIDE THE HIGHWAY
BRIGHTON TO CONVICTION
AND BACK
lBY Farl HIN


We use the word back" advis-
edly. You will have quite a number
Of kinks snatched in your back bone
that no rubbing doctor could ever rub
out, and the only way to get them
out would be to come back over the
same road and have them snatched
out.
The first thing to consider is pos
sibly the time. 1t does not make
ably the time. It does not make
much difference when you take the
trip, you will wish it had been some
other time. However, it would be
better to make the trip some time
before your pastor installs radio
that will tell him what his members
are thinking about through the week.
Also it is best not to make the trip
on a full stomach. You will have a
hard enough time to keep from pitch
ing out your insides without trying
to keep down lot of corn bread,
bacon and turnip greens. You should
borrow a long-tail coat to wear while
your are in town, as your wife prob
ably could not patch your trousers
while you are up there.
If you are going to make the trip
very often you should try to buy you
a coat of above description, as you
will have to wear one all the time.
1t does not make much difference
whether you make the trip in your
old buggy or in car, but if you
want to get there without eating too
much dust in dry weather, or stay
ing in the ditch all the way in wet
wet weather, I would advise you to
try to get a ride in your neighbours
car. Hence, from this on in our
article we shall consider that you
are going to make the trip in a car.
1t is better to tie yourself in the
car, This enables you to take the car
up with you when you make rise
and, also, offers you some assurance
that you will arrive in Covington in
the same car in which you started
out; otherwise you might, in some
of your flights, have one car run
out from under you and cause you
to light in another car. Anyway, if
the speed limit worked vertically in
stead of horizontally, you would
spend some time in jail, because you
will go up and down faster than the
most liberal speed limit Joke that was
ever imposed upon a poor harmless
plank by the side of the road. You
will have a good joke on your neigh
Dor, as he never knows whether, when |
he comes down, his hands and feet
will hit the gas, the spark or the |
brake, or he will merely hit the |
wheel with his stomach. This keeps
you awake, too, and it keeps you
guessing whether the speed of the !
ar will increase, decrease, or
whether you are going to back up a
while. There are number of other
Kings we might notice, but time and
pace forbid.
Before closing, however, we wish
o say that if we knew the party re-
sponsible for this road we would
Dffer our sympathy. We do not
NOW whether it is the president,
he governor, the judge, the road
the constable, or the
axpayer, but we can say that he is
0 be pitied, because if he ever rides
yer this road once he will hate him
elf ever afterward, and each new
tinerant that passes this way only
dds one more to that vast number
hat would be happy to attend his
uneral. 1t would probably be best
or him, too, as he is due to be very.
cry popular in the next world, be-
ause he has absolutely no friends
ere below.