The Washington herald., 1922-10-22
Got to Know King and Be Pal to Prince of Wales
To Get Next to English Folks, Mcintyre Finds
Mention of Buckingham
Palace Brings Speedy
Service.
BY o. o. MCINTYRE.

Coming from Southampton to
London on ons Of those funny psa-
nut whistling trains there was an
old bean in my compartment who
evidently belonged to the militant
branch OF the Brighter London
League.
He had q yellow necktte with
blobs Of red. a green cap and Scotch
plaid suit. His shoes were OF
speckI.d leather with white uppers.
I got the idea that he was the hope
Of his side at cricket.
There was another gentleman in
my compartment with . sandy
mustache and monocis-very spruce
in q tail coat and pearl bowler. I
pictured him as q floor walker at
selfridee's.
We ratified along In silence for
awhile. avoiding one another's game.
I like sociability 90 I decided to
break the ics.
Gets Gold stare
rs the King In town." I in
auirsd.
There was a sudden plop at tho
window and judging from thu
change of temperature in the COM
partmsnt think the bottom
dropped out of the Thermometer. Ny
companions looked at each other
and arched their eyebrows. What
ever had done was something ter
rible. I knew that.
So I switched thu subject.
young Wales. you know, the
Prince" I ventured, made quite a
hit in America. Hes turned out to
be a frst-class fox trottsr." And
then as an afterthought: Tho lad
shakes q wicked hoof."
No answers and moro frigidity.
So when a train guard came along
I asked him whsrs the Deaf and
Dumb Asylum was located. He
said he didn't know, and told him
II he found out there were two in
mates missing I knew where to nnd
them.
speak when Spoken To.
All of this is apropos of advice
to Americans visiting England for
the first time. The advice is:
Speak when you're spoken to.
I.had learned my lesson. So I
relapsed into silence and read the
Daily Mail. 1 guess my compart-
mont companions rather regretted
their aloofness. for shortly before
entering London I looked UP and
saw the gaudy one was cycling me
curiously. He caught my eye and
said:
81 take it you are from the
States"
Yes" replied. -rm from Amer.
lea, but / don't speak English"
And that held them for awhile.
AS q matter of fact why shouldn't
L inquire about the bally King?
got a look at him and we have
something in common. We are both
knock-knsed. And the Prince Of
Wales fayorite cigarette. I hear. 4.
an American brand that use.
st1clIlers Tor Form.
This isolated instance, however,
Is not to be taken as an Indication
Of any English dislike for Ameri-
oans. On the contrary, they like
us-and are willing 10 borrow
monsy from US any time.
They are merely sticklers for
form. The Englishman IL never
breezy after the American fashion.
But once you are properly intro
duced he will quar- q Scotch and
soda with you. pun q cigarette and
be real human.
1t seems to me the chief annoy
ance in England is the British Gus
tom of correcting the American.
At my hotel said to ths waiter:
would you mind dropping this
mail in the chute?"
He looked puzzled. And in ripest
Cockney replied: "You mean, sir,
to post it?" 1 let him get away
with 1t.
When II came time for dinner !
asked him: Where is the grill
roomr'
You mean the grill" he said. /
lst him get away with that. too
Calls Down Waiter.
But at breakfast I turned. or
dered some oatmeal.
You mean porridge, SIR" he in
sisted.
'T mean oatmeal" 1 shouted.
"O-a-t n1-e-a-l" and / apelt IL out