davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star., 1922-12-01
PlAy Paragraphs
SOUNDS PROBABLE.

SOUNDS PROBABLE.
There is sun dial above the new
Eastern High building. now nearing
completion. "Oh, look. it's O'clock,
exclaimed one sweet young thing. VINO.
with her friend. was noting progress.
silly" replied the other, don't you
know that things not running yet?"
r. G. CREWS,
109 eth street northeast.
( Use gwine git me one OF them
eucalyptuses and learn 1t.
''Eucalyptuses?'
"Yeh, one Of them new musical in
struments."
Musical instrument. huh. Man.
that's one o the books in the Bible"
c. b. MUTE,
1905 Columbia road.
Tie heroes had been banqueting. and
the local newspaper, in reporting the
festivities, referred to them as Bottle
Scared Veterans" Upon indignant
protest the Journal apologized hand
somely, as follows: "a printers error.
What we had intended to say was. Bat
tie Scared Veterans.
ANN ToTTEN.
1907 " street northwest.
"WIl:,, makes Smith carry such big
wad OF bills every time he goes out in
his ear at night?'
"The sticll-up men told him IL lie
didn't have plenty of money next time
they held him up, they'd shoot him..
j. II. WHITE.
Room 6O9. Department Of Commerce.
The devil is in a bad hole.
He cannot get anthracite coal;
Soft Goals too smoky,
Hardwood's too poky,
So hell's getting cold as the pole.
WILLIAM D. CROUCH,
80 II street northwest.
Might match the Minneapolis hero, too
busy to be decorated. with Il heroine
too busy to he beautified.
7. II. HEATH.
The Pdsddcnd.
Young Daughter thinking of Christ
mas)-What are you going to ask Santa
Claus for. Daddy:
Daddy am going to ask him to
bring me strength to bear the burden.
GEORGE D. KEHOE,
511 Rock Creek Church road.
Evening star., 1922-12-01
U. S. REVENUE RECEIPTS
TO JUMP $250,OO0,000
Budget Bureau Announces Expect
ed Increase Will Add to
Some Approximations.

Increases in internal revenue re-
ceipts from customs and sales of gov
ernment property will bring in near
ly S250.O00.000 additional revenue for
! the fiscal year 1924 than during the
current fiscal year. it was made
known by the Budget Bureau.
Because of the increased revenues
Budget Director Lord has been able
to increase several allotments of ap-
preparations before sending the draft
Of the 1924 budget to the White
House.
The expected increases in revenue
Will be made up about as follows:
About s1co,0eo.ooo additional inter-
nal revenue in sight. Customs re-
ceipts will probably run $25,O00. 900
to $50,000.o0O over the current fiscal
year.
Surplus war materials owned by the
government to be converted into cash
are expected to bring in the balance
The budget estimates as revised will
go to the White House tomorrow. and
on Monday will be transmitted by
the President to Congress.
Evening star., 1922-12-01
BUCHANAN SCHOOL ANNEX
DEDICATION NEXT week
Program Arranged by Parent
Teacher Association-Dr.
Ballou to Speak.

The recently completed addition to
the Buchanan School. at 18th and E
streets southeast, will be formally
dedicated Tuesday afternoon at 2
O'Clock, under auspices of the newly
organized parent-teacher association,
Of which Mrs. Mabel D. Gates Is presi-
dent. DR.. Frank w. Ballou. superIn-
tendent of schools. will be the princi-
pal speaker. All parents and patrons
of the Buchanan School are invited to
attend.
Mrs Zaida b. Anderson. secretary
of the association. said today that
Mrs. Gates has taken a great deal of
interest in the affairs of the school.
and 1t is hoped that all parents of the
school will feel 1t their privilege and
duty to support her during the ensu-
ing year.
Come to meetings as they are an
nounced, and by your presence and
voice help in the vital matters of the
school," is Mrs. Anderson's message
to the parents
Evening star., 1922-12-01
PLAN 18TH CONVENTION.
Maryland. Virginia and District
Mathematicians to Meet.

DR.. s. W. Stratton. director of the
bureau Of standars. will deliver the
address of welcome to the delegates
OF the thirteenth regular meeting Of
the Maryland dVirginia-District Of
Columbia section OF the Mathematical
Association of America. to be held
December in the assembly room
Of the bureau.
Other speakers. who will discuss
phases of mathematics. will be DIR.
J: r Musselman. Johns Hop
kins University: DIR. Paul r. Heyl,
bureau of standards; DIR. r. s. Wood
ward, president of Carnegie Insti-
tute. Prof. y. L. Landry, Catholic
University; Prof. II. NJ Robert. jr..
United States Naval Academy: Prof
Frank Morley. Johns Hopkins Uni-
rersity. and DR.. G. y. Nelson, Johns
Hopkins University
Members of the association attend
ing the meeting will be guests of the
Washington members at 4 lunch in
the cafeteria of the bureau of stand
ards. The meeting will be divided into
two sections. one beginning at II
o'clock and the other at 2 o'clock.
Evening star., 1922-12-01

Tie government service Is full Of all
around men and women-an around the
| coat rack half hour before quitting
time.
CLARENCE u. ROACH.
LOG Allegheny street. TaEomG Park, d. C..
BELIEVE IT OR NOT"
! saw today a man with q six-cylinder
car run into another car and dent up
the mud guards. saw him take the
number of the car he had run into. and
go up to the traffic bureau. He got the
name and address of the person whose
car he had run into, called up the owner
OF the car, told him what he had done,
and offered to pay for the damages.
Do I get the gold fish?
A. E. THOMPSON.
District building.
Senate's running true to form. Called
in extra session to do one thing. sena-
tors start something else.
T. H. HEATH.
The Pasadena.
Teacher Ito class)-Tell me, why it
Is that the polar bear does not take off
his heavy fur coat in summer time?
Sambo (from rear)-'Cos. teacher.
only de Lord knows whar am de buttons
3. MAY.
The Regina.
The mayor of a tough border town is
about to engage preacher for the new
church.
"Parson, you aren't by any chance Il
Baptist. are you?'
Why. no. Why"
WELL I was just agoin to say We
have to haul our water twelve miles,
MARY l.. IRELAND.
'19 Sd street northeast.
II the thermometer keeps dropping it
will soon be cold enough for the ladies'
to put on their new spring hats.
GLEN Il. CURTISS.
The Nem Be,mc
The coiored washwoman arrived late.
breathless. and limping. Law sakes
she exclaimed. I've gone and done it
now. jumped to git ou. the way of u
machine. l fell and skint my knee
Don't see why it had to happen this
week. with all these here rules about
not gittin' hurt. What do you 'spose
they'd do to me if they found OUT
MIRGCERITE WILCOX,
S26 l. street northeast
Evening star., 1922-12-01

The National GenealOEical Society
will meet tomorrow, pm, with
Mrs. W. H. Bradbury. Poll klingle
road.
Flanders Field Unit, American
Women's Legion, will meet tomor.
row, pm. at 341O Brown street.
Plans will be completed for bridge
five hundred to be held Wednesday,
4:30 Pm, at the Chastleton.
The Pi Beta Phi Alumnae Club will
meet at luncheon at Spofford Arms
tearoom tomorrow.
Social Club, Hebrew Home for the
Aged. will meet Sunday. $50 PM. at
F'airmont Inn. Installation of officers.
The club will give it's annual dance
Tuesday at Elks' Hall.
The Gibbons Girls Club will replace
it's annual bazaar with a dance to be
given tomorrow at Franklin Square
Hotel.
Victory Chapter. ID. 4. r.. will hold
a sale of fancy articles and home
cooked food and candy at Unitarian
House, 1889 Columbia road, tomor-
row, from 8 to 10 pm.
The WanderIusters will hike from
Hyattsville, Md, Sunday. to Chesa-
peake Junction by the way of Mt.
Hooper and Tuxedo. G. A. Gambs
will be the leader.
Evening star., 1922-12-01
AT THE COMMUNITY CENTERs

Thomson Center-Tonight: Thanks.
giving entertainment. including 6
play. piano solos. Interpretive songs
group and solo dancing by the chill.
and Dancing clubs. Special invita-
tion is extended to the parents of the
neighborhood. Boy Scouts; Boys
\. c.: Spanish lessons; Spanish Read.
ing Circle; French.
Wilson Normal-This afternoon
Girls Recreation Club: Girl scouts
troops 1 and 12: Wilson Normal
Midget A. c.: Junior A. c.: Variety
Dramatic Club.
East Washinston-Tonight: Girls
Rhythm Club; Aurora Boys Club
Boy Scouts; library.
Southeast-Tonisht: Pollyanna ORA.
matte Club: Junior Dramatic Club
Ereckles Club: the Winton A. c.
Boy Scouts. Saturday evening: Ba-
Zaar and dramatic entertainment.
rark view-Tonight: Boy Scouts;
lark View a. {.
Pstworth-Tonight: Girl Scouts;
brownies; Boy Scouts; Dramatic Club
Birney-Men's Club: Dramatic Club;
Needlework Guild: Carnation Club;
Amethyst, Club; Blue Ribbon Club.
East shington-Tonight: Junior
Boys Club: Girls Needlework Club;
Achievement Boys Radio Club: sew
ing club: Mems Club; Prep A. c.;
ExclusoS a. c.
Deanwood-Tonight: Achievement
boys and their fathers; Achievement
BOYS Radio Club; Home Economics
Community Orchestra; Recreation
'Club; Dramatic and Athletic clubs
committees. This afternoon: Girls
: Industrial Club; Children's French
Club.
Cleveland -Phelps-This afternoon
Girls Social Club; girls basket ball
game; Junior Art Club: Dressmaking
Club; La Sale Law Club: Valentino
Dramatic Club: Dramatic Club. Sat
,urday morning: Rhythm Dancing
Club; Art Club; Vocational Guidance
Club.
Johnson-Powe - This afternoon
Three classes in French; expression
and dramatics.
f. Y. Brown-Tonight: Instruction
in social dancing; Boy Scout meeting;
library.
Evening star., 1922-12-01
RITES FOR SISTER aoNzAaA.

Solemn requiem mass was celebrated
this morning by Mgr. Thomas at st.
Vincent's Orphan Asylum for the re-
pose OF the soul of Sister Gonzaga. one
of the sisters attached to that institu-
ton. who died there Wednesday
noon. She was sixty-seven years old
and had been connected with the asy-
lum for twenty years. She was q Sis
ter Of Charity and a member Of the
st. Vincent de Paul Society for more
than forty years. The interment was
in Mount Olivet cemetery.
Evening star., 1922-12-01
AID SOCIETY CHILDREN DINE

A Thanksgiving dinner was served
to twenty-five children by the Ameri-
can Children's Aid Society. 329 c street
northwest, yesterday. Rev. George
Lawrence donated a large turkey for
the occasion. to which were added pork
and rabbit pies, pumpkin and mince
pies. cakes. fruit and other necessaries.
Evening star., 1922-12-01
CRANDALL'S :. noKk m. . TaEATEK nnE,.r =

Holiday Mats. Fri and sat. at 2:3o.
WALKER. in IN THE
NAME OF THE LAW" And PAU. PAR
ROT. in THE HARVEST HANDS"
TOMoRRow-STAR CAST. in lat THE
SIGN OF THE JACK % LANTERN" :"
Aud MACK SENSETT'S WHEN SUM-
MER COMES" Added Matinee Attrac-
tion. RUTH ROLAND. in TIMBER
QUEEN" No. l3.
Evening star., 1922-12-01
Prevent Influenza.

The Tonic and Laxative Effect of Laxative
BROMO QUINlSE Tablets will keep the sys
all attacks of Colds, Grip or Influenza. DOC
Advertisement.
Evening star., 1922-12-01

Coughs That Hang On
Undermine your strength. Check
them now by taking Father Johns
Medicine.-Advertise
Evening star., 1922-12-01
ORGANIZATION ACTIVITIES,


Miss Jane Backus of Baltimore will
give the exposition Of the Sunday
school lesson at 4:45 o'clock, 1888 F
street, Y. W. C. A.
TONIGHT.
Kallipolis Grotto Band and Drill
Corps will give dance at New Will
lard Hotel Admission.
The Washington Board of the Ma
tional Federation of Music Clubs will
meet with Mrs. Robert H. Dalgleish
at Hotel Hadleigh, SIS o'clock.
American Legion Auxiliary. De-
rartment District OF Columbia. will
give a card party in Perpetual build
ing. 1101 z street.
Writers League will meet, S o'clock,
in Public Library: literary program.
Dancing assembly Of Catholic Wom-
ems Service Club. 9 o'clock, at COM
tion in dancing 1:30 o'clock.
The Business Women's Council will
entertain little children from Cen
trail Union Mission and from the Cos
pei Mission. in lecture room Of Church
The Pace Club will give a dance
at the Hadleigh. o'clock.
Tn. dramatic and dancing classes
of Thomson Community Center, di-
rected by Charlotte Crawford and
Beatrice Cosgrove, will entertain par
ents and friends at o'clock with a
Thanksgiving play, music, songs and
solo dancing.
Evening star., 1922-12-01
cpANDATI'C APOLLO THEATER
lNAkNOkAkk y o.S IL 81 NE

Holiday Mats. Fri. and SAT. AZ 100.
TopAY-J0HN GILBERT. in MONTE
CRISTo." Selections from III. TEONA-
TORE" Stanley w Rhuads. toncer:
pr.anst
TOMORROW CHANEI. in FLESH
AND BLOOD. And ,om.G:. THE
STEEPIECHASER Added Matinee At
trartion. RUTH ROLAND, in TIMBER
uI-EEN No IL
Evening star., 1922-12-01
MIR. Chappelear

PRIVATE LESSONS BY APPOINTMENT
17l5 Connecticut Avenue. Phone North 6le7
DAVISON'S RS.l H,.f 1929 NJ NV. 11,s ,iss
Teach you to dance eorrectly IN q few Lessons.
strictly private. Any hour. Separate studics.
Glass and class dapce Sat. evenings. Instruc-
tion. to - dancing. to Il. with orchsstss-
Evening star., 1922-12-01

American Legion Auxiliary. De-
rartment District Of Columbia. will
give a card party in Perpetual build
ing, 1101 z street
Evening star., 1922-12-01
TONIGHT.

Kallipolis Grotto Band and Drill
Corps will give a dance at New VIII
lard Hotel. Admission
Evening star., 1922-12-01

The Pace Club will give a dance
at the Hadleigh. 9 o'clock.
Evening star., 1922-12-01

The Washington Board of the Ma
tional Federation of Music Clubs will
meet with Mrs. Robert II. Dalgleish
at Hotel Had1eigh, SIS o'clock.
Evening star., 1922-12-01

Southeast-Tonight: Pollyanna Dra-
matte Club: Junior Dramatic Club:
Freckles Club: the Winton A c.
Boy Scouts. Saturday evening: Ba-
zaar and dramatic entertainment
Evening star., 1922-12-01

rark Tiew-Tonight: Boy Scouts:
lark View A. C.
Evening star., 1922-12-01

Dancing assembly OF Catholic Wom-
ems Service Club. 9 o'clock. at Com
munity House. sol E street. Instruc-
tion in dancing 1:30 o'clock.
Evening star., 1922-12-01

Writers League will meet, S o'clock,
in Public Library: literary program.
Evening star., 1922-12-01

East shington-Tonight: Junior
Boys Club; Girls Needlework Club;
Achievement Boys Radio Club: sew
ing club; Mems Club; Prep A. c.;
ExclusoS A. c.
Evening star., 1922-12-01

Birney-Men's Club: Dramatic Club !:
Needlework Guild: Carnation Club !;
Amethyst Club; Blue Ribbon Club.
Evening star., 1922-12-01

Potworth-Tonight: Girl Scouts;
brownies; Boy Scouts; Dramatic Club
Evening star., 1922-12-01

East Washington-Tonig Girls
Rhythm Club; Aurora Boys Club
Boy Scouts; library.
Evening star., 1922-12-01
CITY NEWS IN BRIEF.

The National Genealogical Society
will meet tomorrow, pm. with
Mrs. W. II. Bradbury. POLL Klingle
Evening star., 1922-12-01

Wilson Normal-This afternoon
Girls Recreation Club: Girl Scouts
troops 1 and 12; Wilson Normal
Midget A. c.: Junior A. c.: Variety
Dramatic Club
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-01-22
GLASS OF SALTS
 CLEANS KIDNEYS F If your Back hurts or Bladder bothers you, drink lots
 of water.

when your kidneys hurt and your pack feels sore, don't get scared and proceed to load your stomach with lot of drugs that excite the kid neys and irritate the entire urinary tract, Keep your kidneys clean like you. keep your bowels clean, by flushing them with mild, harm less salts which removes the body's urinous waste and stimulates them to their normal activity. The func- tion of the kidneys Is to filter the blood. In 24 hours they strain from 1t 300 grains of acid and waste, so we can readily understand the vital importance of keeping the kflneys active.
 Drink lots of watsr--you can't drink too much; also get from any pharmacist about four ounces of Jad Salts; take tablespoonful in a glass of water before breakfast each morning for few days and your kidneys will act fine. This famous salts is made from the acid of grapes and lemon juice, combined with lithia. and has been used for generations to clean and stimulate clogged Kidneys; also to neutralize the acids in urine so it no longer is a source of irritation, thus ending bladder weakness.
 lad Salts is inexpensive: cannot tnjure; makes a delightful efferves- cent Ithia- water drink which every one should take now and then to keep their kidneys clean and active. Try this. also keep up the water drinking, and no doubt you will wonder what became of your kid rey trouble and backache.-Ady.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-01-22
THE AGE OF CORRESPONDENTS"

That's a nice Idea the Business and Professional women's club has in mind-bringing Will Irwin. The Ace of Correspondents. here on the first of February, when he will deliver his famous lecture, "The Next War"
 This Is just one of the many splen- dId progressive things that this club of fine young women IS doing for the educational and civic interests of this community and the appreciation of the people of Birmingham will. no doubt, be cordially shown by a tre- mendous attendance at tho lecture
 In talking with Miss Lula Tyus first vice president and chairman of publicity, as well as ono of the most valued and interested members of the Business and Professional women's club about Mir. Irwin, she said yes terday;
 ''Ehs subject that our ofHb has in view is purely educational. believing as ws do that war Is the greatest of aiI the nenaces to the world and that our people. especially the women, should know all there Is to know abOut ft, and how to prevent another oufburst of the recent fearful caiam- itT which befoll the worlds
 "rn one o6 MT. Irwin's famous war leceurss. he has several. you know" A6iss Tyus continued. when b.Ooo men and women heard hfm in Boston last August. his suh3eet being Straight From the Shoulder Talk. on disarmament. he urged A 'he-man and a she-womAn common ssnss.' as he expressed it, of paoifism right now aa the sole means of preventing the nsz4 war. which Will destroy the white raoesF
 'Trhe next wsR. # we are going to hs~s tt-" said MT. Irwin. lis beginning nows If we arc going ts stop it, the timo to stop it ts new. We need pa 'CdDSn. but not sentimental, eleventh heur pseaffsm. we need paeifinn that osn Do subsOrfhod ta by she-women and he-men.~
 The spsater pofnts out th@& the
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-01-22

next war will be conducted on the basis of wholesale destruction, in stead of what mllitarists refer to as the retail destruction of the last war This despite the fact that 10000 900 soldiers. "the flower of the white race" had perished in the last war, with so,oo0.00O civilians. Even women will not be inviolable. for war would be made upon whole cities at time by means of gas and indescribably powerful bombs.
 He declares that the next step, which was even started before the last conflict ended. would be bacterial warfare-warfare by deadly germs in which nations might be annihi- lated. He pointed out, also, that in the next war women would be nobil- ized as well as men. and would be fair Eams" for the attacks or the enemy.
 We've got to stop it." Mir. Irwin declares. That isn't sentimenta pacifism, it's plain common sense. Right now the outlook is not encour- aging. It looks at times perhaps as though Germany had won the war spiritually. when ws see the spirit of mihtarism sprint up among our former allies. It may be they have won industrislly, too, because they have been forced to take off their shoulders shs burden of disarma- mentr
 Disarmament will come from the people the common people of Amer ics- England, France and Japan. Upon America rests the responsibiI- fly of leadership. Do you know the world is ours if we want it7 We could take Mexico without much effort and we could secure Canada with less trouble than Great Britain experi- eneed in the Bosr war. We could stretch our empire from the North Pole to tho equator"
 America has an opportunity no other nation has had-to step in and stop this thing now. something that no other people could ever do. Amer
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-01-22
By ROE FuLKERsoN

The members of the family seated themselves at Sunday morning break fast and exchanged morning saluta- tions all around. They were all cheer full about 1t save Fred, the son, who emitted vowel sound more like grunt than human speech.
 Father" said the flapper daugh- ter, cheerfully. T wish you would go down to some insurance broker in the gold fish insured"
 "Er-ah-what?" asked her brother, first puzzled and then indignant.
 My dear brother is not sweet tempered, father. and if one of those poor little fish perched on the edge of the aquarium and sang him lit- tie song of the sea some day he would be liable to bite 'em"
 ''Humph." said the boy disdainfully
 He thinks I am camel and Is talking to me about my hump" said the flapper
 There Is a very pretty moving pie ture at the Lyseum and 1t will~be there another week." broke in moth CT in an attempt to divert the con- versation. Have you seen it, Fred?" ''Oh. he has seen everything and is woridweary" his sister replied for him.
 "No not everything" replied the boy. "I have yet to see sister who knew when to let the men members of her family alone.
 Il have never seen a girl of Lucy's age who could pass a pierglass with out batting herself, her hair. her lips her nose or some place.
 '1 have never seen an 1rishman wear dress suit without looking as if he was just ready to break out laughing and I have never seen a woman with bobbed hair who didn't want 1t long again or one without who didn't want to bob it.
 T have never heard an actor talk 10 minutes who did not turn the con versation on his own dear self and some part he had last season.
 T have never seen man with a big pair of gauntlets who did not have small car.
 "I have never seen a woman whc did not really believe she could out vamp Cleopatra. Helen of Troy. Pols Negri and Theda Bara if she would just let herself loose and do her best ! T have never seen a woman in a picture show who did not look in a mirror in her vanity case the moment the lights go up.
 T have never seen a narcissus bult which bloomed, although the florists !! sell thousands every year to be set l out in bowls of water on tables.
 T have never seen a man who did not believe 1t was double penalty to hit man wearing spectacles and l have never seen a man wearing them i that l didn't long to hit for that req l son.
 nave never seen woman could not make get up and move by star
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-01-22
TURN HAIR DARK
 WITH SAGE TEA
If Mixed with Sulphur It Darkens so Naturally
 Nobody can, Tell.

The old-time mixture of Sage Tee and Sulphur for darkening grayv streaked and faded hair is grand~ mothers recipe, and folks are again using it to keep their hair good, even color, which is quite sensible. as we are living in an age when youthful appearance Is of the great est advantage.
 Nowadays. though. we don't have the troublesome task of gathering the sage and the mussy making at home. All drug stores sell the ready to-use product improved by the ad- dltion of other ingredients, called "Wyeths Sage and Sulphur Com pound" It Is very popular, because nobody can discover 1t has been ap- piled, Simply moisten your comb or soft brush with it. and deaw this through your hair, taking one small strand at a time; by morning lis gray hair disappears, but what lights the ladies with Wyeth's Sas and Sulphur Compound is that, se- sides beautifully darkening the hair after a few applications. it also pro dt.es { at soft lustre and ap saraHse of abundance which Is so attractive. Adv