Every evening, Wilmington daily commercial. (Wilmington, Del.) 1878-1928, 1922-11-01

"All men arc polygamists by NATURE"
said nm old bachelor the other day.
"If We told the truth every mothers
son Of us would have TO admit that he
would like TO bc the grind pashs Of
hnrcm containing all the tffy-scven
different varieties Of women.
Now civilization and morality, and
the high cost OF millinery in these do
generate days, prevent q man from
indulging himeclf in wholesale matri-
mony. One wife Mt time is all the law,
and his pockctbook, permits him.
"And that's where the trouble cornes.
It's trying TO TT the barem ideal TO a
two by four fiat, and monagamy, that
In ut the bottom Of the divorce problem.
"For the man demands that his one
wife shall be a composite OF all the
charms and graces Of her entire sex, and
possess dozen entirely different per-
sonalities. Naturally, this is an inn
possibility, but when she fails to do the
chameleon act, and change her color TO
meet his varying moods, he feels de
frauded, and becomes dissatisfied with
his bargain.
"The real reason why husbands tire
of their wives is seldom the fault OF the
women. II ia because the man expects
10 espouse the whole OF womankind with
one wedding ring. =,
| Most men are not honest enough
with themselves TO admit that the fly
in the matrimonial oitment is their owl
Unreasonable demands upon their wives
Suddenly they realize That their Mary
Ann il distasteful TO them because sh'
smells of bread and butter, and that sh'
bores them chattering of the nursery
Or their Aspnsthia gets on their nervei
with her high proved conversation. o.
their Maud's bills appear TO them too
outrageous TO be borne any longer, hn'
their thoughts turn yearningly towar'
some woman who is all soul, or the
long for the soothing society OF som
lovely moron who does not know whetbe
reparation il the name of new color, O
n prohibition cocktail, or they begin I
think how comfortable IL must be TO b
married to atwoman who doesn't thin
that q wife's whole duty is 10 spen
money. and husbands 10 make It fc
her TO spend. -.
ut isn't that the man is really di
satisfied with his Mary Ann, or Al
= HHHAlilfs VI hlthts ~ - JN1N NN%N-~
other moods, other women.
That's why ! have never mnrrie'
I'm no matrimonial prize. I'm not GOO
, enough for one women 10 say nothlr
of being an eligible part. for ffty-sevt
varieties. but such "a am, | have such
;. wide and catholic taste in femininl
I that | have never been able TO deci'
amongst them.
: For instance. Just take the me
T, matter of physical appearance. Abstrac
= ". | admire, above all else, the 10
n stately goddess who looks as IT she h
been born with crown upon her hes
/ and n scepter in her hand. II matrimol
we're only q grand promenade with
- the world looking on, and applsuding n
= taste in wives, how gladly would | ca
- myself at tho feet OF such regal ere
y ture. and implore her to let me he b
', humble and adjoining slave.
= "'Then reflect that goddess Won
- be terribly straining proposition to II
- up TO, and have presentment that
~ would get tired of being on my kne
" And, anyway, also like q Jolly, lit
woman who is Just q good armful, a
whom I could pet and baby, and
n whom could play little tin god.
III 80 there | am, hung up between Q
horns Of that dilemma, not able to dec
II whether | would rather marry the wo
an whose beauty | admire or the won
II who admires my good looks.
L Nor can | decide n between
II practical and the intellectual lady.
) can but fancy how delightful 1t would
- to have a wife with whom | could sh
sc my secret thoughts and dreams. DIRE
n of how good It would be to roam thro'
all the pleasant land OF literature wit
or lovely Ph.D whose mind was set abb
ID the sordid affairs of every day life.
nd But, alas, am carnal creat1
ms welded TO the flesh pots, and ! Ri
of observed that women who dwell on
al, higher plane have their eyes turi
,se \ up TO the stars, and not down on
We kitchen.
of Il have q horrid intuition tina
Oh wouldn't be really interested IN intel
I'D tual conversation If It were served vi
nd a dinner where the meat was overdC
IN and the vegetables UNDERGONE, and
Tor table cloth wasn't on visiting teI
with the laundry.
es: "And there l am again. I'd de
wo love wife who saw eye 10 eye with
at on Ibsen and the Einstein theory,
lrd on the other hand, what wife has
nix potent a spell with which~to charm
ms she who can conjure with the pots
da pans? So | ask myself-shall ! feed
ing soul or my body? Shall ! MARI
woman who dwells in the clouds, or
re- whose feet are firmly planted on
len ground.
liA- again here is the difficulty in dc
mo ing between the helpless woman and
Nv helpmeet. confess I'd enjoy wife
regarded me as an oracle, and who VI
no more dream of questioning my wise
u than she would that of the Almig
But how tired would get of living
. female idiot, with no more back
than jellyhsh, and how l would c
n to resent her everlasting demands I
AZ mel And there am again, unabl
y decide whether | would rather ha'
wife who is q luxury, or one who
necessity.
~ mo doubt women have exactly
same difficulty in deciding on diffe
kinds of men. No doubt there are
~ lions cf women who wish they could
one husband to make money for h
and another for companion, st,
lNTC AMI "a CDED