The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1922-09-21

bic home of a hard working widow
1--WE are listing the taxable persona
property" said the assessor. "What
have you, madam" "I've got two
children and the rheumatism" snap
ped the widow as she slammed the
| door shut.
A professor has discovered among
some ancient ruins what is supposed
to be the eleventh commandment, The
text is as follows: "Emas rof VI
tpmorp tseyap uoht sselnu repap-
sven daer ton stlahs uoht." The
commandment is easily translated by
beginning at the end Of the sentence
and reading backward.
A man who had just opened a
store in a strange town was inter
rogating one Of his early customers
on the purchasing power of the citi-
zens. "Now, there's Deacon Brown"
he said "He has the reputation of
being wealthy. Would he be likely
to spend much money in here?"
"Wa-al," drawled the native reflect
lively, 81 wouldn't exactly say that
he'd go to hell fer nickel, but he'd
fish around fer one till he fell in"
During recent political campaign
two deacons of the same faith reli-
giously, but on opposite sides of the
fence politically, attended prayer
meeting services. 40, Lord" intoned
the Republican deacon, 81 pray Thee
that the Republicans may hang to-
gether-" "Amenp CALCULATED the
Democrat. "But not, 0 Lord" con-
tinued the Republican, Gin the sense
that my Democratic brother means,
but in the sense of accord and con-
cord" "Any cord'll do, Lord; any
cord'll do" was the Democrats clos
ing thrust.
An addition was expected to the |
family and the 10-year-old daughter
was sent to the country, while John
ME, aged 9, remained at home. When
the new arrival made it's appearance,
Johnnie's father wrote long tele
gram to his daughter and dispatched
Johnnie with 81 to defray the cost.
When the youngster returned he gave
MS father $3.50 change. whats
,his?" demanded his father. "Did
you send my wire?" Certainly"
Johnnie, "but it was too
ong. | cut it down" "But what did
,ou say?" queried his exasperated
Johnnie handed him copy
# the telegram, which read: Dear
,usie--I win. It's boy. Johnnie"
Boneheads have been pulled since
he dawn of light. The idea that any 4
'articular age sees them running wild
5 a mistake The first famous bone
cad that history records was pulled
y no less parsonage than old Noah.
Joah simply couldn't see things right;
e had no vision and therefore missed
he Golden Chance" He had 40 long
lights in which to get up and put
he only two mosquitoes in the world
ut of business He could have done
with one smash of his fly swatter.
ut Noah snored at the switch and in
me the dove appeared with the olive
ranch and the next day the people
alked off the ark onto land-and the
Iosquitoes went with them. There
re many other famous boneheads
lat might be here recorded, but none
them equal old Noah's as work
art, so the committee appointed for
lie purpose has decided unanimously
place his name in the Hall of Fame
My little girl has bobbed her hair,
hich makes her look trifle queer
,out her upper story. For she was
rely well supplied with what was
ice our JOY and pride-her mothers
owning glory. couldn't say that
e's improved by whacking off the
rls / loved--it makes her look so
ssy, But--when she's had 'em off
while, it may improve her speed
ile--an' make her twice as classy
n shore ar certain now that
uld never be induced to try to wear
Suriant tresses. | wouldn't dare to
ce a gale, with skypiece like a
ss's tail, or looped in Tapping
essesl And so, that little girl of
ne, can occupy the firing line. in
mt of my affections. A fairy neck
d dinlpled knee can shell my works,
d capture me, in spite of all OBJ
tions. But still--there's draw
cks to the game. and little risks
out the same--it's useless to deny
Therefore, if | was that girls
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