Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1922-09-28
USE THE ELBOWS
Thin People Have a Natural
hi Defensive Weapon.
Provided by Nature as Protection
Against tho AooressIons Of the
Plump, According 70 Helen.

She was what you might call sylph.
like. Or II you prefer the less poetic
anu more modern term she possessed
the popular pencil silhouette. Those
OF her friends built on more generous
lines openly counseled her against the
dangers of frail constitutions and men
toned the lurking evils of tubercu-
losis, indigestion and nervous prostra-
ton, says New York Sun writer.
secretly In their heart of hearts
. they admitted they would willingly
have endured all three to be able to
wear a tweed suit with the smartness
that was hers
IL was Mabel, she of the generous
curves and placid disposition, that
finally drew fire.
'''Helen," said Mabel as she dipped
into the chocolate creams and then
dropped juicy morsel back with a
hungry sigh. Il think you ought to put
on more weight. 1t really is sinful for
girl TO go around causing as much
envy In the hearts of others as you
do. Now, when | was up in Boston
| got a menu from hotel that tells
what you should eat 10 get fat and
what you should eat to get thin. You
can have the how to get fat column
If you want IT,"
The sylphlike one sighed mourn
full sigh.
mabel" she confessed, "you might
as well know the truth. positively
gorge on such fattening things as
cream, butter sauce, bananas, pota-
toes and bacon. l naturally prefer
string beans, sour salad dressings.
lemonade and water ices. But ! pass
them ali up. Because | long ago got
over any desire to be thin"
She arose and began TO pace up and
down the room In the restless manner
peculiar TO thin people. Her voice
rose to tremulous pitch.
'Do you know" she demanded, In
dignantly. what thin people have TO
suffer- Do you?"
Mabel, who had succumbed TO the
temptation of the chocolates, shook
her head blankly.
Just take the subway trains and
trolley cars that have those little seats
built for two persons-two medium
size people. II little person like
me is sitting In one of them, what hap
pens? At the next corner woman
or man who could qualify for Dump
ling Dora in the circus gets on. And,
of course, makes for the seat next to
the little thin person. You find your
self simply squashed by the weight of
the person next TO you. A fat per-
son, have noticed, hooks eagerly
around for q vacant seat beside thin
person, because they know it's the
only way they can ride with any com
fort. / have seen them stand rather
than take q seat next to an average
person or one who rivals their
weight"
Must remember that" said Mabel,
temporarily ceaslng to munich her
chocolate drop. "Never thought of II
before"
We'll, If you try 1t let me warn you
that the poor little stringbean per-
son may take protective measures,
said the slender Helen. and there
was fire In her eyes as she spoke.
THAT so?" queried the plump one
and her tone held polite scorn and
doubt.
"You bet II is. Let me demon
strate."
The slender one sat down on the
couch beside her friend. "Now, when
any OF these generously proportional
souls plant themselves down beside
me in the train and appropriate theii
half of the seat and three-quarters OF
mine I simply manage to fold my
arms. That makes my elbows stici
out. And all thin people have sharI
elbows. They need 'em. They are
the only weapon of offense and de
tense the poor things have.
And most plump people love com
fort. So after they have had the ell
bows of our little thin helpless crea
ture boring into their tender ribs fo
a few minutes they decide 10 occup!
only their own half of the seat or els
fnd a more comfortable one"