The Washington times., 1922-06-11
Here Comes
the Bride

ories after the tact By encouraging
the rites with gold mantsl clocks.l
sut-glass pickle dishes and silver,
plated spoonholders.
Ten-csnt stores look IKE bee
hives IN June. being flied with Low.
Ing relatives and friends looking
for suitable and exclusive gifts
When the returns are al IN. the
average wedding In about a. ex.!
elusive - . subway ticket In rush
hour. .a ...'
Father gives bride away and ng-I
ures that even at that It Is . good
Investment for him. provided she
marries . regular American and
not . foreign cake-ester with o.
title and . laundry bill. In the
latter case he has not only to work
his daughters way through college,
, hut his son.in-law's way through
natrtmony.
Every bridegroom In the world
makes important discovery IN
June. That II that he has Q mid
lie name. Up to the time the
cards come from the sngravsrs he
lmagines he 10 Aleck Hicks. Then
he finds he IL Alexander whiffen,
Doof Hicks. and he doesn't know
what to do about It.
Father and groom are the two,
esost inoonspicuous persons st the
wedding. Groom signs the we'd
ding register and nther signs O.
check During ceremony groom isi
thsrA Il you look close. but heI
hooks liks ono Of Conan Doyle's,
sptr1t photographs.
10 the groom the bride looks
ME- some strange woman. She
never looked liks that before and
she never viii hook IKE that again.
During the wedding she b pensive.,
AftsR the wedding she 10 sx-psn.
sfvA An he dowagers at wedding
pay ne groom . great compliment
By crying over the bride. Every.
body wesps - though she was
throwing herself away.
When hs makes responses dur
ING the service the groom doesn't
know whether hs 10 ordering .
plate Of hash with poached egg or
adding . column Of figures back at
his dear old bookkeeper's desk. He,
promises to do lot Of things that
he never knows about until they
throw them at him two or three
years later in the divorce court.
Papers next day say the bride
was sttired in q rope Of pearls and
.. bridal veil. and the papers are
not far wrong.
After the ceremony the bride
has 10 swap osculatory microbes
with everybody present. beginning
with the minister and the Board
Of Health has no representative
present.
When the honeymoon Is over tho
bride goes to the apartment pre-
pared for her by the groom with .
dollar-down folding bed, . phono-
graph. . globe Of goldfish. . gas
stove furnished by the landlord and
the presents that were sent to the
wedding. Everybody who calls on
the bride In the next fifteen years
looks around to see what has b.
come of the present they sent
When they finally discover It hid.
den behind the phonosraph they
cay: There's the present We gave
1Ou. "utIb INC mAttcE Win N9
A wedding present IL . mortgage
On . couple al during their mar.
ried life, and nothing they can do
afterward can ever pay for It.
When . groom takes his bride
homo he thinks he has bought
svsrything they win need until tho
children begin going to college,
but he finds he hasn't bought
enough to furnish . tepee for .
couple Of Kickapoo Indians.
Every bridegroom believes he
can support . bride IN the manner
70 which she has been accustomed,
and. maybe hs can, but the trouble
10 no bride 10 satisfied 10 bs sup
ported that way. She wants . lot
Of things to which she has not
been accustomed. II not why gst
married at alif
A formal wedding 10 best for