davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Alaska daily empire. [volume] (Juneau, Alaska) 1912-1926, 1922-02-13
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SAsr hA-
But Where You Gonna Move?

Said l. to my naughty landlord,
"Of these high rents / don't ap-
prove"
Then with a scornful smile he
growled,
Sthat so? Then why don't you
mover"
The Alaska daily empire. [volume] (Juneau, Alaska) 1912-1926, 1922-02-13

II Ii Fits
Just because a girl lets You squeeze
her it is no sign she is a lemon. She
rs more apt to he a peach
It's funny. with SO much more
cause for doing it. the girls seldom
blush any more.
Even the man whose work is dirty
may have the cleancst kind of a
mind
Probably no one can crowd a house
quite 50 much as a mother-in law
VINO has come to stay a while
No man is perfect, but some of the
most imperfect ones think they are
which proves they have coon magma
tions, anyway.
why are so many fool people in
SUCH a hurry to get killed? They viii
take the most absurd chances with
death to save a minute or two that
they have absolutely no use for after
they have saved It,
There are three reasons why a girl
wants pretty clothes. She wants
them no satisfy her own vanity, to
make her friends envious and to at
tract the things who wear trousers.
A double life means double trou-
Die but some of the poor fish appear
10 De regular gluttons for trouble
Tor they VIII even fall for a triple
life.
You never have any trouble in re-
ducing a fat purse.
Speaking of rolled-down hosiery. re-
member how some of tho careless
men who would not wear supporters
used to go arourd with the tors o.
their socks lopping down over their
shoe tops2 Girls always do things
The Alaska daily empire. [volume] (Juneau, Alaska) 1912-1926, 1922-02-13
OIL SUPPLY is LIMITED.

The oil supply of the United States known to be
in the ground is limited 20 years the present
rate of consumption according to figures recently
issued by the u S. Geological Survey The figures
issued that the oil of the country total
9,1bO 900 900 barrels. The Gulf coast, Texas and
Louisiana said constitute the most dependable
The Alaska daily empire. [volume] (Juneau, Alaska) 1912-1926, 1922-02-13
pailv Sentence Sermon

Watch your own step and you don't
have time to watch the silk hose
the girls display as they step along.
News of the Names Club
J. H. Lipps, of Bacutanna, Miss,
ought to be mighty popular with the
girls down there But we hope he
mover uses a Lipp stick on the little
Lipps.
The Alaska daily empire. [volume] (Juneau, Alaska) 1912-1926, 1922-02-13
What Every Father Knows

Male birds sing less sweetly after
the young birds HATCH remarked
Mrs. Greene, who was studying
ornithology,
"The male usually has darn little
to sing about when he has to hustle
around to raise the dough to feed
and clOthe a lot of Kids snorted her
husband, who had six little jewels
of his own.
The Alaska daily empire. [volume] (Juneau, Alaska) 1912-1926, 1922-02-13
Sob Squad, Do Your Duty!

The saddest words that ever sprang
from pen or jaw
We're those the authors wrote into
the VolStead law M. j.
The Alaska daily empire. [volume] (Juneau, Alaska) 1912-1926, 1922-02-13

ably the most Ia
nous and celebrat-
ed church in Am
erica), the Rev.
George c ! a r k e
HoughtOn may re-
81 gn. Reports are
persistent that dis
sension j n t h e
ranks of the yes
trymen force DR..
Houghto who is
at present in Flor
ida, to accept the
position of pastor
The Alaska daily empire. [volume] (Juneau, Alaska) 1912-1926, 1922-02-13

Charles G. Dawes is said to be the man who nut
bulge" in budget. ,lf he win now show us how to
put the get" in the domestic budget we will thank
him. Tampa Tribune.)
The Alaska daily empire. [volume] (Juneau, Alaska) 1912-1926, 1922-02-13
He Better Watch Out or the Reform.
erS'Il Get Him

Dear Sam: Noah Belts lives al
Nashville, Ind. Get him to give you
a tip on one of his sure things. =
H. S.
The Alaska daily empire. [volume] (Juneau, Alaska) 1912-1926, 1922-02-13
Ideal Summer Girl

"Ill never call on that girl except
in August"
"Why wait till Anguish"
"Shes so darn cold she would make
you SILVER if it was ITO in the
shade"
The Alaska daily empire. [volume] (Juneau, Alaska) 1912-1926, 1922-02-13
Who Was Given the Mitten and Then
Lost 1t?

(Trenton (MO) Times)
FOund-Large mitten. Owner may
have same by describing and paying
for this notice Gail at office.
The Alaska daily empire. [volume] (Juneau, Alaska) 1912-1926, 1922-02-13
Observations of Oldest lnhabitant

| kin remember when folks wore
electric" rings or aluminium thai
were supposed to cure rheumatism.
The Alaska daily empire. [volume] (Juneau, Alaska) 1912-1926, 1922-02-13
Knew His Masters Voice

Hiram Peck, recently made widow
er, against his wishes and better
Judgment, had been persuaded to at
tend a spiritualistic meeting.
1--WE have Mrs. Hiram Peck on the
wireless, announced the Medium.
"W-h-a-t, what does she want p
quivered Hiram, while his teeth chat
tered and his knees smote together.
She wants to know why you have
quit wearing your rubbcrs; why you
rubber at every fool little chicken
YOU pass; why you have let the rub
Der plant die from neglect; why"
"That's Maria, alright; let me out
OF here quick!" cried Hiram as he
made for the nearest door.
The Alaska daily empire. [volume] (Juneau, Alaska) 1912-1926, 1922-02-13
Invitation To Pay Up

'Pa. what does r. S. V. P. mean at
the end of an invitation?" asked
Willie.
at means please remit on all the
invitations | ever get growled his
Dad.
The Alaska daily empire. [volume] (Juneau, Alaska) 1912-1926, 1922-02-13

Probably the largest single class in this country
is composed of people who think the American eagle
should feather their nests.-(Daas News)
The Alaska daily empire. [volume] (Juneau, Alaska) 1912-1926, 1922-02-13
Pastor of Little Church
Around the Corner
May Quit.

NEW YORK-After being pastor
for many years OF the Llttle
Church Around the Corner (prob-
The Alaska daily empire. [volume] (Juneau, Alaska) 1912-1926, 1922-02-13

emeritus. During the present pas
tors incumbency it is said that
more than $500 runaway mar
riages were performed. DR.. Hough-
ton succeeded his uncle, who was
the first rector of the Little
Church Around the Corner" the
name conferred on it by the late
Joe jefferson, the actor.
Watch the opportunities for ambi-
tous men and women in each days
classified ads
The Alaska daily empire. [volume] (Juneau, Alaska) 1912-1926, 1922-02-13
Fool Que stions

Fool Questions
Jan" asks, Can a ball player
make good without ever batting an
eye?" Of course, you boob. He is
supposed to have a batting eye, but
he only bats the ball
The Alaska daily empire. [volume] (Juneau, Alaska) 1912-1926, 1922-02-13

It's Hard Life
1t fills my heart
wish grief and pain
To know that !
Am broke again.
Hastings (Ncb) Tribune
A sadder tale
Now | Will croak:
| grOan because
I'm always broke.
The Alaska daily empire. [volume] (Juneau, Alaska) 1912-1926, 1922-02-13
The Stacker

The Stacker
He lodges his work
Most every day,
But you don't see
Him dodge his pay.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1922-03-26

Hail to Man o. Wars first daughterl The
FLY is out Of Masquerader and shows all the
leg-marks of great speed. INTERNATIONAL
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1922-03-26
{ INTERNATIONAL

The swOrn-at, kicked, Over-laden, unprotesting
burro at last comes into his own with Texan
show, held all for him. INTERNATIONAL
80
Sandy" Weiner, aged fourteen and Of Ger
mantown, is developing under the wing Of
World Champion Tilden into youthful racquet
marvel. (ntcrnationaD
The Raymer enterprise., 1922-06-22
SORRY SHE DIDN'T LIKE IT
But Anyway, That Particular Hat
Wasn't for Sale, and II Made
Little Difference.

In and out Of department stores and
millinery shops went the Woman and
her friend, trying on hats trimmed
with robbon. hats smothered In feath-
ers and hats where bloomed flowers
that never were on sea or land. The
WOman's friend was as hard to suit
as the little girl In the "Three Bears"
They were all "too" something. The
Woman was growing weary, and spy
Ing an attractive black hat with some
spidery white feathers In a heap be-
fore another fussy shopper, she point.
ed It out to her friend.
"Try to get a chance at that un.
usual hat 1t has n great deal of dis
tinction." she whispered.
The friend sidled up to the show.
case, and when the fussy shopper was
trying on yellow-fowered creation,
she seized the hut and viewed the ef-
feet In the glass, exclaiming: ugh!
don't like this one a little bit"
"Excut, me, madam" icily said the
fussy shopper, that is my own hat
bought In Kenosha. Sorry you don't
admire it.'-Chicago Journal.
The Raymer enterprise., 1922-06-22
GAINS 8 POUNDS IN
TWO WEEKS TIME
oyspepsIa Entirely Overcome and She
Eats, Sleeps and Feels Better
Than In Years, Says Boston
Resident,

II have actually gained eight pounds
In two weeks time and am now eating
better. sleeping better and feeling bet.
ter than l have In three or four years."
said Mrs Celesta Fell, 80 Prince street,
Boston, Mass, recently, In telling Of
the great benefits she has derived from
the use of Tanlac. y
MY stomach was in such bad fix
before l took Tanlac that did NOT
dare eat much of anything, for If did
l would have so much pain and dis
tress from Indigestion that felt like
l was going to die. l was so run down
and weak from lack of nourislment
that could not do my housework.
Il was so nervous couldn't keen
still during the day nor sleep at night
l can see now II 1t had not been for
Tanlac ! would have had to give IN
entirely. / am now feeling strong and
healthy and all the credit belongs to
Tanlac."
Tanlac Is sold by all good druggists
The Raymer enterprise., 1922-06-22
Thousands Have Kidney
Trouble and Never
Suspect 1t
Applicants for Insurance Often
Rejected.

Judging from reports from druggists
who are constantly in direct touch With
the public, there is one preparation that
has been very successful in overcoming
these conditions. The mild and healing
influence Of Dr.. Kilmer's Swamp. Root il
soon realized. II stands the highest for
its remarkable record of success.
An examining physician for one Of the
prominent Life Insurance Companies, in
an interview on the subject, made the as.
tonishing statement that one reason why
SO many applicants for insurance are re.
jected is because kidney trouble is SO
common to the American people, and the
large majority Of those whose applica.
tions are declined do not even suspect
that they have the disease.
Dr.. Kilmer's Swamp Root is on sale
at all drug stores in bottles of two sizes,
medium and large. However, if you wish
first to test this great preparation send
ten cents to DR.. Kilmer L Co., Bingham
ton, N. Y, for sample bottle. When
writing be slre and mention this paper.
Advertisement.
The Raymer enterprise., 1922-06-22
Baked Monkey a pelieacy.

A hunters paradise is Mexico, and
almost within sight Of the capital are
forests that abound with wild game.
offered ut all seasons In the Mexico
City markets.
Venison Is a staple and Wild ducks
and geese may be purchased for a few
centavos. Live quail as well as varie-
ties Of pheasants and pigeons are sold
on the streets by peddlers. Indians
from the hills frequently trudge to the
city with wild boar, and turkeys may
be had for the price of paltry tip to
a native hunter.
II one is SO inclined, a tender
monkey may be procured for Sunday
baking, dish that Mexican epicures,
especially of the tropical regions, rel
ish above all others.
The Raymer enterprise., 1922-06-22
Boy Scouts ADOPT Tree.

A prone juniper, growing near the
Masonic home, Elizabeth. Pa, is at
least eighty years old, and now meas
ures As inches In diameter, and Is "a
inches high. The limbs lying on the
ground do not take root. The tree
has been given a place In the Hall of
Fame Of the American Forestry asso.
citation of Washington. ID. C. The boy
scouts of Elizabeth have adopted this
remarkable tree and erected fence
around II. The nomination for the
Hall OF Fame was made by Judge
George b. Orlady Of the superior court
Of Pennsylvania.
The Raymer enterprise., 1922-06-22
Carrying On With the
American Legion

Hundreds of the small craft thnt
were used to sweep the North sea
clear OF mines during the war are to
be put on the scrap pile, navy order
states.
Ten dollars month for each
months service, with 25 per cent ad-
ditional for overseas service, Ia to be
paid World war veterans Of Maryland
by the state.
The veterans of the "battle Of Wash.
ington" during the World war are
being rapidly scattered. The latest
order transfers 1893 officers out bf
the capital city.
Reorganization Of wartime draft
boards to assist the Legion in finding
Jobs for service men has been pro-
posed by DR.. John Grier Hibben, pres.
ident Of Princeton university.
In hOuse-to-house canvass Of Indi-
ana cities. Hoosier Legionnaires inter-
viewed 10000 former service men and
women and listed 1,500 cases involving
disability, compensation and lost Lib
erty bonds.
William Strother, Houston. Tex.
World war veteran sojourning in A. e.
r. scenes in Paris, France, wants to
climb Eiffel tower, feat never yet ac-
complished, for the benefit Of a French
veterans organization.
The Legion's campaign for jobless
soldiers was aided materially by a De-
troit tMich.) court Judge who finding
all jury panels exhausted, directed
that unemployed ex-soldiers be pb-
aimed for jury service at "a day.
The Raymer enterprise., 1922-06-22
Defends the Negro.

His appointment Of a negro boy to
Annapolis naval academy is defended
by Representative Martin Ansorge Of
New York as matter Of justice to the
large colored population OF his dis.
trict. and ''in recognition of the valor
and patriotism Of the 100000 colored
boys in the United States service In
the World war" The appolntee. Emile
Treville Holley, is freshman in the
College Of the City OF New York.
Harvard university makes no discrim.
ination against negroes, and there are
several all-negro posts In the American
Legion.
The Raymer enterprise., 1922-06-22
Slightly Deficient.

Here's one that has leaked out Of
an o. I. G. after couple of years
or So:
A young man, a good soldier, but
sadly lacking In book-larnIn', was up
for a commission. He staggered
through part Of the examination to
the increasing bedevilment Of the Off.
GERS in charge, but when 1t came to
geographical questions his ignorance
was limitless. Finally one Of the off,
GERS, after listening to a piece Of as
founding misinformation, jumped to
his feet and thundered:
my sainted aunt's black cat Here
you are-say you want to defend your
country-and, by the whdskers Of a
ring-toed monkey. you don't even
know where It is!"-American Legion
Weekly.
The Raymer enterprise., 1922-06-22
Soap Cuuht to Help.

The discovery of a lake, rich In car
Donate Of soda, in the neighborhood of
Kulumda, Siberia, has been announced
The lake Is located In very fertile re.
gion, and active steps are being taken
to exploit the discovery, says the Sci.
entiiic American, and erect soap fac
tory In the immediate vicinity of the
lake.
The Raymer enterprise., 1922-06-22
CHAIR FOR THE COMMANDER
Elaborate Reed Piece, Gift to Mac
Nider, From the Department
Of tho Philippines.

A chair OF woven reeds that will
sustain the weight of half dozen men
now ornaments the Office Of Com.
mander Hanford MacNider Of the
American Legion, as gift from the
Department Of the Philippines. It is
modelled on the throne Of Moro
chieftain.
Though the chair never felt 4
painters brush, 1t Is built up In q
bright color scheme that is the gift
Of the sun itself. Split bamboo and
The Raymer enterprise., 1922-06-22

ceived the croce di guerra Of Italy, the
equivalent Of the French croix de
guerre.
Halter met Gen. Armando Diaz.
commander in chief Of the Italian
armies In the World war, at the third
national convention Of the American
Legion in Kansas City. After this
meeting the Italian decoration was
presented at special ceremony in
Joplin. The Missourian also wears
the American Medal Of Honor and the
French cr0ix de guerre.
The Raymer enterprise., 1922-06-22

sponsored by the
American Legion,
department Of
Pa n a m a. 7 h e
contest was won
by Miss Viola
Bissell with L.
307,SO votes. Ac-
cordlng to her
e n I h u $ la st | c
subjects" she is
OF the true Amer
ican type, tall,
blonde and ath-
letic. The Pana-
The Raymer enterprise., 1922-06-22

Moran, the county seat, is Rev. II. G.
Scoggins. truck driver, Methodist
minister and former buck private Of
infantry. He was a corporal once,
but like the immortal Mulvaney, he
was "rejuced." Under his leading the
Moran post has a membership in the
county 90 per cent Of possible"
The Raymer enterprise., 1922-06-22
New Idea in Headoear,

The newest Idea for hats is heat.
proof lining. For this purpose the
lining Of the hat Is made Of series
OF layers of thin, lightweight fabric
of different colors, the combination
acting as light-fiter. While not ex-
Guiding light. 1t filters out the heat
rays--in other words, the longer light
waves, and thus keeps the head cool
In warm weather.-Philudelphia Ledg.
er,
The Raymer enterprise., 1922-06-22
Something to Look At,

"Anything to see In this town." in-
quired a recently arrived guest.
"Well," replied the landlord of the
tavern at Oblong Center. "a lady bar.
Der has just opened up shop in the
next block. You might kinda ramble
around and"
II have seen lady BARRIERS before.
Il suppose so. But prob'ly you
never saw how the male population
of village net when they see a lady
barber."-Kansas City Star.
The Raymer enterprise., 1922-06-22
Middle West National Cemetery.

Middle West National Cemetery.
On the prairies Of the Platte river in
Nebraska Is located the only national
cemetery In the Middle West-that Of
Fort Mcpherson. Here under the cot
tonwoods and eyesgreens Of the plains
lie the dead Of the American wars Of
the west. Recently IS Of the World
war dead from France have been bur-
led there by Fort MCPHERSON post OF
the American Legion. On 381 Of the
earlier grave markers is the single
word, Unknown"
The Raymer enterprise., 1922-06-22
Improvement Goes On,

Although recent statistics state
that 92.6 per cent Of American farm
houses have telephones, only 27.1 per
cent have electric lights, q per cent
have vacuum cleaners and 16.2 per
.ent have electric washing machines.
The Raymer enterprise., 1922-06-22
v. P. OF FORTY AND EIGHT
c. E. cronkits Of Los Angeles 10
Second In Command Of Legion
Rouohhouse Club.
"Sous Chef de Chemin de Fer Ma
ti0nale des 40 Hommes ct HUT

Chevaux." This
means In Eng
lfsh, National
Assistant Rail-
way Station
Agent of the 40
Men and Eight
Horses" But In
A. E. F. patois 1t
stands for vice
president Of the
Forty and Eight,
the Legion's
Roughhouse club,
named after filp
The Raymer enterprise., 1922-06-22
C1e
AMERICAN
0L.I:Gk)|N@
Copy for This Department Supplied b.
the American Legion News serviceD
SWAN MEusE UNDER FIRE
sergt. N. Waldo Halter Of Joplin, Mo.
Wears Medals for World War
Bravery.
In the fighting In France Sergt. NJ.
Waldo Halter Of Joplin, No., swan the

MeuSe river under
fire after a com.
rade had perished
In the attempt,
landed within the
German lines and
explored their po-
sitions thoroughly
and swan back
across the river
with information
Of great value to
the A m eri an
command. For
this he has re-
The Raymer enterprise., 1922-06-22

little French boxcars built to carry
40 men or eight horses
This imposing title is borne by G.
3. Cronkite OF Los Angeles Cal, for
merly first lieutenant In the Three
Hundred and Twenty-second field
signal battalion.
The Raymer enterprise., 1922-06-22
Cuticura for Pimply Faces

To remove pimples and blnckheads
smear them with Cuticura Ointment.
Wash of In five minutes with CUT.
cura Soap and hot yater. Once clear
Keep your skin clear by using them for
daily toilet purposes. Don't fail to In.
clude Cutlcurn Talcum. Advertisement.
The Raymer enterprise., 1922-06-22
nAceept No Suhstitutcs.n

How Is this?' asked n young wOm
an of n slopkeeper. you are ask
Ing Just MS much foi these then
mometers ns you did for those you
showed me last August"
Certainly. miss" replied the
puzzled merchant. They're the
same thing!'
"rhey're nothing Of the sort u
trinmphantly. "Why. those you
showed me before had twice as much
mercury in them American Legion
Weekly.
The Raymer enterprise., 1922-06-22

been discovered
which contrlbu-
ted no commits
stoned officer to
the World war,
not even q
''shavetail." The
highest ranking
ex-soldler In the
county Is a for
mer sergeant Of
ordnance.
The command.
er Of the local
Legion most at
The Raymer enterprise., 1922-06-22
1--WE Aim to Please"

Convict No. I'LL hear Bill the
Mugg Is out again and that he's the
most popular hold-up guy In Chi
cago.
Convict 117-Yeah. He always gives
the victims back car fare. so now he
gets the cream Of the trade.-Amerl.
car Legion Weekly.
The Raymer enterprise., 1922-06-22
In HIs stspe.

For even hereunto were ye called:
because Christ also suffered for us,
leaving us an example, that We should
follow his steps.-I Peter 2::21.
The Raymer enterprise., 1922-06-22
MINISTER is POST LEADER
Rev. n. G. scoooins, Former Buck
Private, Head Strong American
Legion Organization.

A Texas county somewhat larger
than the state Of Rhode Island has
The Raymer enterprise., 1922-06-22
"QuEER or THE CANAL ZONE"
Miss Viola Bisseli Wins Contest spon.
sored by American Legion
Department Of Panama.

The Queen Of the Canal Zone'
has been chosen through an election
The Raymer enterprise., 1922-06-22

mans declare her famous smile
would win In any contest over any of
the beauties of America or Europe.
The Raymer enterprise., 1922-06-22
Trusting Men.

The man who trusts men will make
f'ewer mistakes than he who distrusts
them.-Cav0ur.
The Raymer enterprise., 1922-06-22
silence II Golden.

Silence 10 Golden.
Well-timed silence hath more elo-
euence than speech.-Martin FarQuhar
Tupper.
The Raymer enterprise., 1922-06-22
IMPROVED UNroaM INTERNATIONAL
Sl119ldaySc'oel
' Lesson '

By REV. p. B. FTTzwATER. D. D..
Teacher Of English Bible In the Moody
Bible Institute Of Chicago.)
Copyright. 1919. Western Newspaper Union.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1922-12-06
FOR MISS BARKSDALE.

Mrs. S. G.. Thomson, Jr. entertain
ed Tuesday afternoon at a pleasant
party in compliment to Miss Mona
Barksdale, whose marriage will be
celebrated on the 21st. Mrs. Thorn
son had four tables of bridge play
ers, the head table being decorated
in white with a dainty bride doll
holding a place of honor. Miss Banks
dale was handsomely dressed in
brown with cape and hat to match
During the evening a dainty CANT,
sole was presented to her and at
the close of the games the doll was
awarded to Mrs. Bristow as a prize
who presented it to the honoree.
Delightful refreshments were
served.
The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1922-12-06
SHOOTING AT THE WOMEN

Calhoun Falls is in the limelight
again, this time the ofense being
shooting up a car in which a lady
was riding.
Miss Marie Bunnelle is conduct
ing a cooking class at Calhoun Falls
in the afternoon and when she start
ed to Abbe7ille Monday being driven
in a car, a pistol was fired at the car,
demolishing the windshield and miss
ing the young lady by a narrow mar
gin. Miss Bunnelle did not enjoy the
experience.
Another story coming from "The
Falls" is that all the school teachers
have their laundry "done" by the
same woman and some time ago when
she had a basket of clean clothes on
her head, she was set upon by some
of the bad boys around the town
and rocked and a lighted cigarette
thrown into her basket. The negro
knew nothing Of the act and set her
basket on the back porch to be car
ried to the teachers rooms later,
when found almost the entire con-
tents were blurred or scorched.
1t, is thought that the shots Mon
day were perhaps, intended for a
teacher as Miss Bunnelle is a
stranger.
1t is a fine thing to "teach the
young idea to shoot" but the Cal
houn Falls teachers are too accu-
rate.