davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-12-26
My Favorite Stories By IRWIN s. COBB
DYING IN THE LAST DITCH

Bert Swor, who, to my way of thinking, is the best delineator of southern negro types that we have, claims this was an &C., tual experience of his. To me it sounds all most too good to be true; and yet l think it must have been true. There is an honest ring of verity about it.
 Early one morning Swor landed in Mem phis after an all-night ride from New Or leans. He had not rested well on the train; he had had no breakfast yet and decidedly he was in grumpy mood. As he entered the door of his favorite hotel black person named George fell upon him and, with cries of well-simulated pleasure, wrested his handbag from his grasp. Now, this George was by way of being character. You will find his type in nearly every southern town and in some northern towns as we'll. His speciality was service to the guests. He re- n,embered their names and their peculiari- ties and in the manner of an old friend hail. ed and welcomed them on arrival. Thereaf- ter, during the transient's stay, George, by small personal offices, so endeared himself that his financial rewards were much larger than those of the average bell-hop. Indeed, it was his boast that he never yet had failed to win handsome tip from the most frugal of travellers.
 Knowing Georges unbroken record and being in fit frame of mind for strata gems, Swor decided to prove the exception to the invariable rule. In other words, he would go through the form of resisting Georges most affectionate blandishments with view to studying the results. So, when George darted at him and seized his luggage with glad outburst of recognition, "W'y, if it ain't Mista Bertie Swor! How you do, Mista Bertie?" Swor maintained dour demeanor. Brushing another bell-boy out of the way, George preceded him to the clerks desk.
 "Please, suh, gimme de key to Mista Swors reglar room, Mista Clerk" he called out. T knows jest whut he wants widout him sayin' word. Come on Mir. Bertie-jest follow me. Git out of de way, on Mista Swor endurin' his stay yere 'ceptin' tis George We're de elevator, Mista Bertie, step right in"
 Arriving at the room George fused about nightly. He unfastened the handbag, he hung up Swor's overcoat, he raised the wndow-shade to admit the winter sunlight and lowered it again to shut it out. He di- rected the attention of his prospective bene- factor to the fact that the bath room was abundantly supplied with towels and that a fresh cake of soap had been provided He volunteered to get an extra blanket for the bed Apparently oblivious to these atten- tions, Swor busied himself with changing his linen.
 "Is there anything else, suh, Mista Ber- tie?v asked George, with just the proper emphasis in the words.
 Nothing else," said Swor, "except th4s
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-12-26
CHRISTMAS IN BIRMINGHAM

Greater prosperity than this district has experienced in several years, freedom from disorder and a generous distribution of gifts among the poor made Birminghams Christ mas celebration this year one of the hap piest it has ever known. Large payrolls and steady employment for practically every man who wanted to work, in addition to an accumulation of Christmas savings funds and dividends declared by various concerps, put a great volume of money into circula- ton, much of which was spent among Bir- mingham merchants. The fact that. there were comparatively few families unable to provide their own Christmas cheer made it possible for the churches, civic organiza- tions, clubs and welfare workers to bring happiness to nearly every child in Birming- ham who might have been overlooked by Santa Claus. Numerous Christmas trees and quantities of toys, fruit and candywere provided and if a single child failed to re- ceive present, it was not due to any short age of good things to insure a merry Christ mas. There was more than enough to go around. One club issuedftickets to 800 chil- dren. Although nearly twice that number appeared, everyone was given present. By making arrangements to provide for more than the expected number of little guests, the clubs and other organizations had gift for all who came. The police department had little to do. There were fewer arrests for drunkenness and disorderly conduct than usual Birmingham entered whole-hearted- ly into the spirit of Christmas, but celebrated the day as it should be celebrated, in quiet enjoyment,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-12-26
TO MOBILIZE INDUSTRY

The war departments plan for industrial preparedness, outlined by Secretary Weeks in the current issue of the Nations Busi- ness. is no doubt the result of one of the lessons learned during the World war. The task of co-ordinating the nationfs industries and putting them on war basis appeared at first insuperable. It was accomplished, and in record-breaking time, but it proved to be costly. Millions of dollars might have been saved if there had been some such skeleton organization to meet national emergency as Secretary Weeks describes. It is the purpose of the war department to es- tablish 'spoints of contact" in strategic parts of the country between the department and the nations industries. Thirteen ordnance districts have already been marked out as part of the mobilization plan, with civilian leader man of prominence and ability in each district, who will serve as a volunteer s'liason officer between the government and business interests. Eventually it is pro posed to have kind of civilian general staff, similar to the general staff of the army, which would be expected during war to procure about 90 per cent of the muni- tions needed, since the government arse nals can produce only about ten per cent.
 In modern warfare, back of the army in the field there must be a gigantic industrial organization. Wars are no longer fought by armies alone, but by nations. America and the allies suffered from lack of this kind of preparedness during the World war. The war departments plan is both practical and far-sighted It will provide an organ:- zation which can respond quickly in na- tional crisis and avoid delay, unnecessary expense and confusion.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-12-26
LESSON OF A MINT ROBBERY
 Ernfa the Rrnoklvn Eagle.

The spectacle of gunmen shoot tlAg down guard right in front of the United States mint in Denver, Col, where truck was being load
 ed with packages of $5 bills, and getting away with S200,000 in a high-powered motor car by keep ing up fusillade with rifles over the lifeless body of the guard, is not a reassuring one to most of us. What was stolen belongs to all
 America. That it had not been properly protected is an inevitable conclusion.
 Just as men who handle dynamite daily take all sorts of risks without regard to warning, those who ham,
 dle vast sums of treasury cash or
 bullion seem to get used to being
 careless. They know, of course, that the checks of bookkeeping are always at work. But against the strong hand of the gunmen all the auditors in the world are helpless. Gunmen do not come often. "To
 an American . contingent peril is no peril at all."
 This is phase of the subject
 that should commend itself to the serious consideration of the treas ury department. When great trans 1 fers by truck are contemplated great precautions are required. In
 99 cases they are superfluous. In
 the hundredth case they vindicate the value of even expensive vigil 1 lance
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-12-26
Dairying in Alabama rom the Mobile Register.

q . va eA.S ~'-V VOAA< As<SA SAobSAs
 Five million pounds of butter, or four million pounds of butter fat, from Alabama creareries in 1922, is the outstanding fact in the annual report of William Hardie, dairy specialist of the extension service. This is a growth since 1915, prior to which year the only commercial dairyings in the state was whole milk business around cities and towns. No creameries at that time; but 27 creameries, with 50 cream shipping stations in the state, for 1922, makes the record of growth. The 1920 federal census showed 28 per cent increase in number of dairy cows for the decade and 15 per cent increase in production of dairy products. The movement, there fore, is well begun in Alabama, and the success so far achieved is cred ited to the efforts made in several progressive counties to organize for the best results. Cotton under boil weevil conditions has become less profitable and the intelligence that recognizes the fact and goes viRo- rously after dairying as a neans both for profit and for building the soil for other crops will bring sno- caae, Y
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-12-26
Filling the Unfor-
 giving Minute" By REV. H. c. OFFERMi.N

For grief, despondency, loneli- ness, homesickness, work is the an- tidote. "We must work the works of Him that sent Me, while it is day; the night cometh when no man can work"
 Kipling says: Filling the un- forgiving minute with 60 seconds worth of distance-run."
 The idler is a day thief; he steals the time meant for work for the world, and uses it for himself. Every sound business, church, na- ton, family, to be blessed, must rest upon hard work.
 "When in doubt, get back to work" Paul advises: "And that ye study to be quiet, and to do your own business, and to work with your hands"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-12-26
Some Distance off

"The seeress has far-away look in her eyes," whispered the first; client.
 And I don't like it, either," whispered the second client.
 "Eh?'
 q have just asked her if she can see the man who stole two cases of liquor from my cellar. Judging from the expression on her face, he's left the country"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-12-26
UNPRETENTIoUs
From the Art Record.

From the ATC hccord.
 A certain painter is confined in an asylum. To persons who visit him he says:
 Look at this; it is my latest masterpiece" :"
 They look and see nothing but an expanse of bare canvas. They ask:
 What does that representa-
 That? Why, that represents the passage of Israelites through the Red sea-
 Beg pardon, but where is the sea?"
 1t has been driven back
 "And where are the Israelites?"
 "They have crossed over"
 "And the Egyptians?"
 "Will be here directly. That's the sort of painting I like-simple and unpretentions.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-12-26
Trustess' Dscision wise

From the Selma Times-Journal.
 The real interests of Auburn and its potential service to the coming generations of young men who will seek it's facilities for training and upbuilding have been augmented, not injured, by the decision of the trustees and the slogan should now be throughout the confines of the state "all-together now for great CT Auburn" Alabama deserves to have great, resourceful, well-or- ganized and well-equipped agricul- tural and mechanical college and 1t should be part of every Alaba- mian's business henceforth to see that she gets such school at Au- burn.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-12-26
A Trivial .circumstance

A Polish priest who recently arrived in America-it would be crime to inflict his name on a linotype operater-says the as sassination of the Polish president "means nothing" The fashion in Europe of regard ing assassination as more or less EQutine matter is one of the reasons why holding public office in the United States is more desirable than it is abroad.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-12-26
SAVINGS CLUBS FLOURISH

The more than $250, 1000 which three Bir- mingham banks distributed to members of their Christmas savings clubs this month has caused other Birmingham banks to in- stitute this system of savings. Banks in other cities are doing the same thing. In Mobile. whore the Christmas savings clubs hsvo bean especially cultivated over series ok yuur8 fls distributiion this month was rnors f6kn $7oo,o00, four banls participst- 11Sn tlot@all 4his money by- my means is
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-12-26
Other Peoples Money

"What's the excitement here?"
 '4Oh, just some bandits robbing bank" replied the lethargic citien.
 Good land! You take it coolly."
 "Why should I, throw fit, or yell flor the police? I haven't had a dollar in this or any other bank in nine years"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-12-26
EDUCATING WIVES

From the Chicago Herald and Ex-
 aminer.
 The husbands of wives who can not cook are now the best patrons of our hotels. But what do you make of q hotel system planned for Chicago which advertises that it will teach cookery to it's women guests! This may be the heighth of disin- terested altruism. Or it may re- vive the scheme of that mother who offered her son five cents every time he took his medicine without complaining, and then used the money to buy more medicine.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-12-26
Ornamental Youths

I must admit that now and then You'll find among the dancing men A character you can admire, But most of them I'd hate to hire, Were I in need, say, of clerk Who would not be afraid of work.
 PAUL COOK
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-12-26
Alabama Press
An Unusual Situation
From the Troy Herald.


 There is a most unusual thing to be said about Troy. The various charity committees of the churches and lodges can't find in Troy the objects of charity to give their pres- ents to.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-12-26
QUITTING IN
From the Argonaut.

In front of Broadway restau- rant ragged ufchin was observed by kindly disposed and prosper ous individual who thought the youngster looked wistfully at the batter cakes being baked by the girl in the window.
 Hungry, kid?" he asked. "Naw," came the scornful reply. Cant a fellow look at swell da1ne without drawin' . crowd!"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-12-26
Adrift With the Times
Relieving the Tension

"What are you doing now?"
 "Writing for a scientific journal,' said the humorist.
 ''What do you know about science?'
 Nothing whatever, but the heaviest pub lications are running a little light stuff nowadays to take the strain off the minds of their readers"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-12-26
Stranger Still

You'll often hear a father say he doesn't want his son to take up his profession"
 "Quite so," replied MT. Bibbles. And, believe me or not, I've even heard the iden- tical remark made by wealthy bootlegger.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-12-26
A Minor Detail

Isn't there law on the statute books requiring labels to tell the truth and nothing but the truth?"
 "There is" said MT. Jagsby, "but in the circumstances you can hardly expect boot leggers to obey it.'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-12-26
The Compensation Law
From the Montgomery Times.

From the Montgomery Times.
 A compensation law is a new thing in Alabama, but it has made a satisfactory start, and it is hoped that the incoming legislature will not interfere with it, except where it has been found to be necessary to make some amendments that will improve 1t.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-12-26

you can get out. I'm tired and want to be alone''
 ''Yas, suh Mebbe you mout want to write some letters later on? Better femme bring you fresh pen?"
 No, don't want any pen. What want is solitude"
 "Yas, suh S'posin' sends up one of de dinin' room hands to talk your order for fl morsel of breakfus."
 q don't want any breakfast yet and when do I'll come downstairs after it."
 ''Yas, suh, prob'bly dat would be de bes'."
 "Then suppose youNget out"
 sJest goin', suh, jes' goinp'
 But George didn't go. His rowing eye swept the room. It was plainly to be seen that his professional honor was involved He just naturally could not bear to depart until he had extorted coin from this ob- durate white man. But the prospect seemed so very hopeless! Reluctantly, he dragged his feet across the carpet. With his hand on the doorknob he halted for one final ef- fort:
 "Is you right suttin, Mista Bertie, dat they ain't nothin' mo- witch kin fetch you-de mornin' paper or somethin'? Ain't they no clothes to be sent out an pressed? Nor nothin'?"
 "Not blessed thing said Swor. Good byer'
 But George still had last charge in his locker He passed out, closed the door slow ly behind him, then opened it again and poked his head in through the opening. There was renewed light in his eye.
 s'Mista Bertie," he said, "ef you should tek q notion to trim yore own hair I could bring you up nice new pair of scissors" (cssvstSa& 1s3s, hy ths Nersnashe syndis1t. 1ns.)
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-12-26
Living Price. Still Up

From the Anniston Star.
 Many who had hoped for re- turn of the cost of living to the level of 1914, before the World war started, are beginning to lose hope. There really is little prospect that this country will again see the low prices that prevailed before the World war. Increased prices do not hurt so much when work is plenti- full and wages fair, and we may as we'll become accustomed to the higher level, for there appears little likelihood ia drop, in the opinion of those who are familiar with the situation.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-12-26
Splendid Record for Labo,

Sfu NcCufU TUT I@dpUK From the Gadsden Journal.
 The Journal often has had occa- sion to point out the splendid sup ply of Anglo-Saxon labor in this district. It is efficient; loyaL and well-behaved. A striking illustra- tion of this may be found in the steel plant quarters or reservation. There are 236 families living in that section. There are both white and negro families residing there. And yet, during the year now drawing to close, there has not been a single arrest in that section.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-12-26
Sheltered From the Storm

''rhe Constitution is sacred in your eyes?'N
 'It is, sir" replied Senator Snortswor- thy. "And also feel that>I owe the found ing fathers debt of gratitude"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-12-26
SERVICE OF YOUNG MEN

The public-spirited young men of Annls
 ton have completed organization of their Junior Chamber of Commerce and thus joined forces for the upbdilding of their community whose affairs they are eventual ly to direct. The experience which they &C., quire in the junior chamber will help fit them for the work to be transferred to them later on by their elders.- These organiza- tions have taken strong hold in Alabama. There were enough of them for the forma- tion of state association this falA and the formation of the state association has led to renewed interest in their organization in various communities. There is value to communities ill the youth of the member ship of the junior chambers. Not yet fully experienced young men have not the timidi- ty for their elders. They see clearly what they think will be for the community good without balancing difficulties in it's attain ment. This renders them susceptible of ini- tiative, originality and verve in the concep- ton and presentation of community causes.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-12-26
REDUCED TO ABsURDITY
rom the New York World.

From the New ork World.
 It is reported that the Irish Free State has applied for membership in the League of Nations and is to be promptly admitted This action of the Irish puts in jeopardy some of the most effective bits of nonsense employed by republican orators to line up the Irish vote against the League of Ma tons. For the Irish Free State is aymember of the British empire, known just now as the British Commonwealth of Nations. There fore, President Harding and Senator Hiram Johnson and others must now argue that this gives the British empire seven votes in the league. Or they must argue that the Irish Free State is more independent than Can- ada, Australia, South Africa. Or they must admit they did not know what they were talking about. There is also in Jeopardy the argument that the league is death on sovereignty, for the Irish having Just pur- chased all the sovereignty they couid get with their blood must be extraordinary persons if they voluntarily and Immediately surren- der it to the league. The only argument left on this point is to say that the Irish Free State can afford to take risks that a weak, recently established and unstable government like that of the United States must at all costs avoid.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-12-26

Why should an international economic conference held in America be impractical? Conferences in Europe have failed, one after another By holding one outside the atmos- phere of jealousy and distrust which has wrecked European conferences, the pros poets for success would be all the better.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1922-12-26

''In these days, when there is such an in sistant demand for wild-eyed reform and unsound legislation, esteem it great priv iIege, sir, to be able to take refuge behind that immortal document.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1922-03-24
A PLEASANT AFTERNOON.

The residence of Mr.. and Mrs. JohR
d. Snader, Cedar Hill, near Sans
Creek, was the scene of most pleas
ant and congenial company of little
folks on last Saturday afternoon,
March IS. Hours from one to four p.
m. The occasion was the tenth birth
day of their only daughter, Louise
Mirth making and various games
were indulged in, all taking an active
part The donkey game, the prize was
won by Miss Ruth Carlisle and the
booby by Miss Annabel Ensor. Guess
the number of beans in a jar, Master
Eli Nicodemus, won the prize. and
Miss Sarah Ensor, the booby. At $50
D. m. the dining room door was
thrown open for refreshments. In the
center of the table was the birthday
cake with ten pink candles lighted.
The calors were pink and green.
Twelve little ones were seated and
partook OF ice cream. cake, bananas,
candy, orange-ade and mints. The IA
vors were cute and pretty. The after
noon so pleasantly spent passed rap
idly and the time for departure came
too soon. Louise was remembered very
kindly by all. There were twelve lads
and eighteen little lasses present. I
hope in a little corner of their hearts
will long linger the memory of this
one happy afternoon.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1922-03-24
STANSBURY

The funeral services of Mr.. John
H. Stansbury, who died suddenly in
his 81 year, March 10, at his home in
Greenmount was held March 13, in the
Greenmount U. B. Church.
Mr. Stansbury has been very ac-
tive member of the Greenmount Unit
ed Brethren Church and at one time
was a trustee of Lebanon Valley Col
lege. He was we'll known through out
this section of the State and was evil
dent by the many who attended the
funeral services.
Rev. !. Fl. Lehman, the dead mans
pastor. delivered the funeral sermon.
The Revs. Strine and Daugherty,
also Revs. Thomas and Dibble, OF
the Methodist Church assisted. The
directors of the Hampstead Bank OF
which Mr.. Stansbury was former
president. acted as pallbearers. Mr..
Stansburv. who's death was a shock
to the community, had only been sick
"a few davs. His remains were laid to
rest in the cemetery adjoining the
church.
The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1922-03-24
DEATHS.
MICHAEL

The funeral of James Wesley Mi
chael, was held Monday afternoon at
o'clock at his home, Bond street
Rev. John B. Rupley, pastor of Grace
Lutheran Church, officiated, assisted
by Revs. c. w. Walck and r. n. Ed
wards. Interment was made in Krid-
er's cemetery. Mr.. Michael is surviv-
ed by his wife, whose maiden name
was Barnes, being a daughter of the
late William Barnes, and by two
daughters, Misses Helen and Margar-
ct and the following brothers and sis
ters: Mrs. Kate Mentzer, and Mrs.
George Sloyer, both of Coatesville;
Mrs. William Harris, of Philadelphia;
John Michael, of Emmitsburg, and
lsac Michael, of Hagerstown. Mr.. Mi
chael was a member of The Indepen-
dent Order of Mechanics and Odd Fell
lows. who took charge of the burial
of their beloved brother. The pail
bearers were William Smith, Earl
Lantz, Charles Fowler, Harvey Stone,
Milton Sullivan and Luther Wimert
The funeral was largely attended by
his manv friends and the floral con-
tributions were numerous and beauti-
full. Sympathy is extended to the fam
lily in their sad bereavement. Harvey
Bankard & Son funeral directors.