davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The herald and news. [volume] (Newberry S.C.) 1903-1937, 1922-03-21
No Wonder Folks Laughed.

The sun was hiding somewhere.
ANYWAY. it was nowhere 10 be seen.
L:,tle drops Of rain splashed Oh the
window panes.
Taking an umbrella from the rack in
the hall, Saxton Daggles made his WY
downtown to the Office.
is it my imaginatioT o. are peo-
pie really turning roun3 70 look at
me-" he muttered, as he crossed over
one street and walked down another,
= The rain was coming down a little
faster now. People scurried away,
seeking shelter in neighboring door
ways.
We'll, it isn't my imagination" Dag
giles calculated TO himself. And peo-
pie are looking at me
Darn it," exclaimed Sazton Dag
giles Grossly, for he was stocking max
er by bis profession. III find ouC
why they're all looking at me-"
And he asked, laughing ietIer car
rier
as there anything about me that
would make people turn and stare"
he asked.
We'll, there's something above you
that might" returned the letter car,
rier.
Looking up quickly. Saxton DagSles
saw that tie had been carrying q tHne
raised in the air instead OF his un-
brella, the whole time and in a. '1z
pouring rain.
looking down again he found il Was
o,Iite War.-DetrOit News
The herald and news. [volume] (Newberry S.C.) 1903-1937, 1922-03-21

1Le whole
I'd CT Il"
The herald and news. [volume] (Newberry S.C.) 1903-1937, 1922-03-21

al home" OF dowa to thelr lit.Ie great
grandson.
H. this connection it viii be pleas
ant 20 recall that our fel!ow-citizen.
who served 1 few months in che Cor
federate service wnen no: quite SIN
teen years old. has been working for
I the city OF Newberry eveH since 1873,
with 5ae exception Of eight months in
Sumter ard Two years n Henderson
vile. Fer twenry-eight' consecutive
wears he was superintendent OF
streets, since which tine he has been
connected with the water ard lights
department.
No man in the community is held
The herald and news. [volume] (Newberry S.C.) 1903-1937, 1922-03-21

in higher esteem than is captain
Jack" as he is familiariy and atfec-
tionately called.
The many friends Of Mr. and Mrs.
Jackson wish them much Joy on the
approaching 50th anniversary of their
happy wedding day.
The herald and news. [volume] (Newberry S.C.) 1903-1937, 1922-03-21

Waiters complain that there are no
h;g tips Since prohibition went into
Feet. And the Washington Post says
!, IS 5ecausa people are not SO tipsy
nor'.
The herald and news. [volume] (Newberry S.C.) 1903-1937, 1922-03-21

THo miIts used to make 4 quart.
tu1 ~a% sometimes half & pint will
make funeral.
The Washington herald., 1922-12-30
MOrOns at the Wheel

THE Pittsburgh psychologist
who suggests intelligence
L tests for would-be chauffeurs
opens field of speculation.
How, for instance, would he test
against the driver who cheerfully
splashes mud on pedestrians ten
feet away?
Or the driver who, on a crowded
street, suddenly darts from behind
the car in front, jams down the ac-
celerator and scares people at
crossings to the verge of insanity?
He says most troubles 10 driving
are made by morons. But these
are not morons unless we amend
the words meaning to include
moral as we'll as mental imbeciles.
Perhaps the place for the intel
ligence tests is among the traffic
regulators and the pedestrians
who take mud baths so patiently.
The Washington herald., 1922-12-30
For q Real Alignment

rlNCE Constitutional amend
ment is necessary to get rid of
~ the wholly obsolete and use
less Electoral College and to estab-
lish the modern democratic prin-
ciplc of direct election of President
and Vice President. the progressive
sentiment of the country might as
well 90 the additional step of pro-
posing to make our Federal judic-
larry responsive to the people as
well.
That would kill two birds with
one stone and present promptly an
inevitable issue insuring definite
alignment.
Lincoln said country could not
survive half slave and half free.
1t is almost equally hard for a
nation 10 prosper half democratic
and half autocratic.
The Federal bench is autocracy s
final stronghold. 1t is removed
from the people by the present
method of its selection, it is kept
from them by deliberate insulation
and its most liberal minds find it's
environment deadening to dem
ocratic impulses and renewals.
If every Federal judge had to
get his nomination from the people
and his election and frequent re-
election also from them, we would
have fewer corporation lawyers
chosen for these offices.
The Washington herald., 1922-12-30
Proper Cnre0f
Our Archives
n HATRIOTIC citizens in all Sec
tions of the country find

nATRIOTIC citizens in all Sec
tions of the country find
i cause for rejoicing with
Washingtonians over the annual
report of the public buildings COM
mission which recommends in its
$50, 100000 Government building
program plans for a modern fire
proof structure for our national
archives.
The Archives Building would be
erected on the site now available
at Twelfth and Ohio avenue and
would conform to the prevailing
type of architecture of the other
four structures to be erected in the
Mall. 1t would be of white stone
or marble.
This is a step in the right direc-
tion. At present the priceless his
torical documents of the Revolu-
tionary war are stored in wooden
fire-traps and are inaccessible to
the public except in extraordinary
circumstances. This same condition
obtains with archives dealing with
other periods in our history.
Of course the Government will
provide library equipment and a
competent corps of attendants, who
will see to it that the public is
given every opportunity to inspect
and study the papers that record
the. greatness of our country.
The Washington herald., 1922-12-30
The Ears of q Shin
Henry Smith Williams

CoUND travels through the
water more than four times
fast as it travels through the
=. So the ears OF a ship are
aturally adjusted below the
alter line.
Ears OF a ship? Certainly.
You may call them a subma-
rine signal apparatuses il you
prefer; but an apparatus de-
signed solely to receive and
register the vibrations of sound
is certainly entitled to be called
an ear" in everyday speech.
And such an apparatus the up
;o-date ship carries adjusted at
either side of the prov. well
down toward the keel. The
navigator of vessel thus
quipped is kept informed as
The Washington herald., 1922-12-30

TUE ships ears are. OF course.
Il connected by wires with
telephone receivers TO the navi-
gators cabin. Here there viii
be. also. as a matter OF course.
receivers from a radio appa-
ratus. The two working to-
gether may give the navigator
information not merely as 20
the direction but as to the pre-
else distance Of another vessel.
provided that vessel sends radio
signals and submarine signals
simultaneously The radio sig.
mails come to the listener IT.
stantly. travelling $4,000 miles
per second. whereas the subma-
rine sounds travel only abcut
4.S0O feet per second. A stop
watch records the difference in
time. Multiplying the number
The Washington herald., 1922-12-30
Main TtUO- TlUO- IlUO- TtUO

COME folks wouldn't give plugged
nickel for our entire telephone
system. Other folks would. And do.
TELEPHONES have advanced speech
but put dampers on conversation.
They have made it easier to talk but
more difficult to chat.
PREHISTORIC man had no tele-
phones. But We have those he
should have had.
BENEVOLENT Nature thus equalizes
- all things. Our savage ancestors
had no party wires. They didn't need
any wires in their parties.
THERE is no longer any genuine con-
versation that springs from heart.
The Washington herald., 1922-12-30
The Ordeal by Battle

vYYHAT cooperative marketing
w can do is shown by the Pro-
" ducers' Livestock Commits
sion Association.
1t began business less than a wear
ago in st. Louis and soon led the
field, in fOrty-six weeks handling
5,447 cars. In indianapolis since
the middle of May it has handled
1897 ears; in Peoria, in twenty
-three uzAAkS-69l Chicago
-,ilj cars III twenty-five weeks !:
standing tenth among 100 receivers :;
IN It's second week in Buffalo it took
the lead with 124 cars. 1t has saved
an average of 80 per cent in rents
and promises substantial dividend
the first year.
These carly gains naturally af
feet producers first. If they went
no further they would ultimately
distribute. AS they grow consum-
ers must increasingly share, either
by improved service, lower prices
or both.
For when cooperative movement
thrlves it proves that better than
existing agencies it supplies an un-
filled need.
The Washington herald., 1922-12-30
Taxation ThrOugh
The Rich PeOpLe
WYE TALK deal about
w taxation of the rich, but

"E TALk a deal about
w taxation of the rich, but
" there is also kind of
taxation by the rich. Some of this
is good, and some bad, like all
taxation.
Sometimes rich people do needed
things for the community which
no community has sense enough to
do for itself.
No State. for instance. would
vote to establish such an institution
as the Rockefeller Foundation. Yet
by the will of one man, this institu-
tion is doing untold good to the
world in the prevention of disease
and the spread of education.
.---Mr. Carnegie established libraries
all over the country. To do this. he
got his money through the steel
business. These are examples Of
taxation by the rich.
The Astor family have made
millions of dollars from the people.
The other day Vincent Astor gave
$1,000 to the United Hospital Fund.
Other rich people gave to this
cause. Thus wealthy people did
for the community what the com
munlty was not ready to do for
itself.
Sometimes this sort of taxation
takes curious turns. The other day
Mrs. Alice Tobey Jones, of Ware
ham, Mass, died leaving some two
and half million dollars worth of
property. She bequeathed this
money to various friends. but on
the death of each beneficiary the
principal goes to the Bide-a- Wee
Home Association, which takes care
of stray animals and to the Society
for the Prevention of Cruelty to
Animals.
Mrs. Jones was exceedingly fond
of animals, especially dogs. AS the
State did not, in her opinion, prop
erly protect them, she used her
money for that purpose.
The Washington herald., 1922-12-30

A POPULAR form Of ships
"A ear is one invented by Pro
fessor Reginald A. Fessenden.
II includes a circular disc Of
metal which is fitted into a
hole OF just the right size cut
in the skin" of the ship. The
steel disc. although about three
quarters Of an inch thick. is
made to vibrate by the passage
OF an alternating electric cur
rent. and IL is therefore called
an oscillator. In vibrating II
produces a shrill note. and
thus signals other ships. Mean
time, being connected with
vacuum tube smplifiers. Il re.
ceives and makes audible sub.
marine sounds from miles away.
In wartime the ships ear
was a submarine detector. with
no substitute. In peace time Il
co-operates with the radio an.
paratus In lessening the dan
gers Of sea voysging.
The Washington herald., 1922-12-30

IN a dense fog, for example.
L the ears may tell him of
the proximity Of another ship.
thus on occasion enabling him
to avoid danger of collision.
The experienced listener may
be able to name the ship that
makes the sounds he hears,
for every vessel. it appears. has
a personality expressed more
or less definitely in the sounds
made by its propellers.
The ears of the ship may
even bring a record of the
proximity Of a silent thing,
like an iceberg in this case,
sounds sent out by the ship
itself come back as echoes, re-
vealing that there is an ice
berg to port or starboard. as
the case may be. Thus the
up-to-date ship may escape such
a disaster as that which over
took the Titanic.
The Washington herald., 1922-12-30
EPICRAMS ON SUCCESS
BY B.. C.FOrbes

MADAME CURIE didn't STUN
AVA bic upon radium by accident.
She searched and experimental
and sweated and suffered years
before she found It. Success
rarely is an accident.
VOu will search for opportu-
nifty in vain unless yoi have
planted its roots within you.
VOU drift towards the rocks.
1 You have to row to reach
success.
F you play the game straight,
] business becomes as inspiring
as sport. Be a sportsman.
COME persons fall into a for.
- tune" but nobody ever yet
fell into success. Success en-
tails climbing.
THE eight-hour-day self-made
i millionaire has yet to be
born.
YOU can leave will directing
l how to handle your money,
but not your reputation. The
public will attend to that.
nON'T talk about your abilities.
- Demonstrate them.
THE man who becomes so big
! and SO successful" that he
has no time for kind word or a
helpful deed is not successful at
all. His life is a failure.
THE happiness that comes
1 from getting isn't one, two,
three with that which comes
from giving. II you haven't
found 1t SO, overhaul yourself.
THERE is no higher efficiency
l than doing the right thing in
the right way.
YOUR boss may determine
1 your salary, but you yourself
determine your worth. To get
more, make yourself worth
more.
VOUR employer knows how
! good you are without your
telling him. Say 1t with work.
The Washington herald., 1922-12-30
Steinnaetz on
Labor Rights
IHARLES P. STEINMETZ, con-
sulting engineer of the Gen.

II NAIAhhI1O L. . ElENM Il l. IL, con-
sulting engineer of the Gen.
~ eral Electric Company is
today, next to Edison, the greatest
living expert on electricity. He
has great mind and has begun to
function on our social and indus
trial questions. Here are some of
his views:
Capital and labor are nee
essary for industrial produc-
tion, and both therefore have
rights and duties in the in
dustry.
It follows that labor as well
as capital has rights in the
profits, management and or
ganization of the industry.
The industry must be or
ganized SO as to guarantee to
the employe a living wage, af-
fording minimum American
standard Of living and con-
tinuity of employment. The
industry on the other hand,
must yield to capital fair re-
turn or it cannot survive.
A common mistake of employers
is the belief of many of them that
their success can be enhanced by
paying low wages; wen paid work
men are in the long run always the
best. American success and pres
tige have never been won in any
large industry by cheap labor.
The common mistake of en-
ployes is the idea that by cutting
production or limiting output they
improve their condition.
Higher wages have always been
won by increasing production and
improving efficiency of machinery.
The Washington herald., 1922-12-30
Modifying the Coue Formula

off on my fingers instead OF
knots. and after the first time
just better and happier" bet.
ter and happier" ten times. II
starts the day finely and can
be used easily and often. The
word happier" lifts the heart
toward cheerfuiness.
A SUBSCRIBER.
The Washington herald., 1922-12-30
Stars and Stripes

Mans wife in Harlem telephoned for
him to come home to supper. He started
home by way of Canton. China, and did
not reach Harlem for nine years. His
wife had married somebody else, but
worst of all. his supper was all cold.
The price of butter in Ukrania is
100000 rubles a pound. but this ex-
pense is partially obviated by the fact
that there is no butter.
The Washington herald., 1922-12-30

Julius Caesar must have been in a
very liberal mood when he invented
December and put 1t in the calendar
There are very few statues of women
IN America, as no statue can be a speak.
ing likeness.
TO be able to satisfy all the relatives
with presents is a Christmas gift in
itself ~
The Washington herald., 1922-12-30

Telephone talk jumps from your
pocket. Shall you waste five cents on
this bird? Or is 1t worth ten cents to
call up Victrola and lind out that she
can't meet you?
DROGRESS has split our vocabulary
up into thick-nickel and thin-dime
chfrps. And while Alexander Bell in
vented telephone arguments, some
toys tailor must have drawn blue
prints for those telephone booths.
DUBLIC is still waiting for company
1 to make those booths In adult
sizes. Robinson Crusoe heard no hu.
man voice for years. But then Robby
never got any telephone bill for It.
NEW automatic telephone doeS away
~ with Central. You whirl numbers
The Washington herald., 1922-12-30
To Bruno Lessing:

To Bruno Lessing:
PRoPoS of yours on cheer
A fulness. tell your constftu-
ents there is no law against
modifying the Coue formula
to suit themselves. For IN
stance. ] say. Every day ] am
better and happier" counting
The Washington herald., 1922-12-30

THE only thing that keeps a
IL horse from running away
and smashing things 10 the
bit in his mouth and the
obedience to his master which
he feels in his heart.
And the only way to keep
a human being from crime In
to strengthen that restraint in
him that comes from within
These moral inhibitions are
the last products OF evolution.
and are the essence Of civiliza-
ton.
Never was any greater mis-
take than that men are held
from crime by force. fear and
punishment.
Every criminal is a defec-
tive. and the only way to pro-
tect ourselves against him IN
to do what we can to remedy
his defect.
The Washington herald., 1922-12-30

AND NOTHING
comes.
FROM OUT the rain.
TO WRITE about
FOR WHAT you want
IS SOMETHING
bright.
SOME LAUGHING
thing.
AND so you turn.
BACK TO the room.
AND TO the crate.
AND DYING embers.
GLOW DULL red.
AND BY the crate.
AN ARM chair sets.
AND you 60 back
r4aoUea JUST on.
year.
TO T4is same day.
AND CLOSE your
eyes.
AND MEMORIES
come.
AND SOMEONE sits.
WITHIN THE chair.
AND saws.
AND SWEET content
Is IN the room.
AND rrEN you
wake.
AMI; EMPTINESS.
Is IN the chair.
AND IN the room.
AND you must writa
THANK you.
The Washington herald., 1922-12-30
WAYSIDE WISDOM
HCopyright. 1899 :
BY S. E. Kiser-

APRIL has its charm; the swelling
- OF the buds is good to see:
April days arc toJ-eomPeiiinE -----
ApriPs full Of sorcery;
In tht marshes reeds are shaken
Into rhapsodies of song;
Minstrels of the woods awaken,
After having slumbered long;
April has its charm, but brightly
One whose mouths a lovely thing
Gives me praise and keeps me sprightly.
Starting off my fances lightly
On what might be called the wing.
MAY and June bring pleasant weather,
They are Winters antidote;
Either one or both together
Should keep sadness far remote;
with their blossoms and mild breezea
Joyous May and June combine
To produce a scene that pleases
And makes living seem divine;
But l need not wait till airy
Petals seem to blush for Joy
In the gloom of January
! forget how seasons vary;
Is she beautiful Oh, boy!
pEOPLE frequently feel sober
when the Autumn tints appear.
Yet I've heard men call October
The best month Of all the wear.
1t has charms, il one will find them
Mellow, hazy, dreamy days,
When the careless leave behind them
Memories of dewy Mays.
But / never let it matter
What the current month may be-
1t is god to hear her chatter
And the c.ouds are quick to scatter
When she sighs-to flatter Inc.
SOMETHING QUEER ABOUT HER.
horrible mistake was made by a giri
VINO killed man few day5 ago. She had
neglected to keep a diary.
LET THEM COME
How about having a Jazzless Week or q
No-Gum- Chewing Week.
The Washington herald., 1922-12-30
By Bugs Baer

on disc and get your own wrong num-
ber. System combines thrill of gam
bling with monotony Of clean living,
and adds spice Of Monte Carlo to old
homestead party wires.
TELEPHONE calls are cheaper after
midnight because they annoy peo-
pie more.
nUT OF ORDER sign on booth means
~ that company knows that phone
isn't working. II there is no Out OF
Order sign, 1t means that company IL
paying no attention to complaints.
DADIOPHONE 10 latest method Of
~ talking out Of turn. You carry your
apparatus in your hat. When you are
tired OF talking with your wife you
check your hat.
The Washington herald., 1922-12-30
HAPPINESS IN EVERY COMPLAINT

1--WE will be glad to hear of any
fmpertinence or lack of attention on the part
OF our employees" says a bulletin issued by
one Of the big commercial organizations.
That's right. Try to be pleased, no matter
what happens.
The Washington herald., 1922-12-30

TUE facts in the case are
i clear enough, but the con-
clusion drawn from these
facts is exceedingly muddy.
Everybody, according to
his bent Of mind, his preju-
dices or his passions. is quick
to suggest a remedy. Some
will demand more capital pun
ishment Notwithstanding the
fact that the records show
that this increases instead of
decreases the number Of
crimes Of violence.
The apostles of wetness
blame It all on prohibition,
and others say that 1t is caused
by war. but the increase was
here before either prohibition
or war.
Others say that II is the
growth of large cities. yet Los
Angeles is ahead of New York
City in this sort of crimes.
THE cheapest, quickest and
l. easiest way TO deal with
the matter is to increase the
severity of punishments. But
this is wholly unthinking and
irrational. Punishment has
never stopped crime. and
never will.
II we want to stop crime we
The Washington herald., 1922-12-30
We TOWNE GOSSIP
l. Copynsht le:z. by Star Compsny
By K G. B.

WHAT WOULD you
write.
WHO READ this
stuff.
IF YOU were here
WHERE ! sit now.
AND HAD to write.
AS . must write.
TO FILL this space.
WHAT WOULD you
find.
TO WRITE about.
iF YOU sat here.
JUST WHERE I sit.
AND OUTSIDE.
GOLDEN RAIN came
down.
AND INSIDE.
IN A IRE crate.
THE cRAckLINe
wood.
HAD LEFT q bed.
OF DULL red ashes.
AND YOU sat here.
AND LOOKED
outside.
AND BLESSED tn.
rain.
IN !HHr you knew.
THAT THIRSTY
land.
AND THIRSTY
streams.
.
HIGH IN the hills.
WERE GLAD of II.
BUT you must write.
. . .
The Washington herald., 1922-12-30

To many happenings OF which
otherwise he would have no
knowledge.
The Washington herald., 1922-12-30
pl SUbNAliSE
prTccroR,

Of seconds by $500. the navl,
gator has the answer in feet
The Washington herald., 1922-12-30
SOMETHING QUEER ABOUT HER.

A horrible mistake was made by a cir
who killed a man a few daya ago. She hat
neglected to keep a diary
The Washington herald., 1922-12-30
LET THEM COME

How about having Jazzless Week or q
No Gum Chewing Week.
The Washington herald., 1922-12-30

must 90 to the cause which
makes crime. That cause b.
the feebieness OF the moral
inhibitions. And the only way
to cure crime is 10 stren-fhen
those inhibitions.
The only reason most peo-
pie are not criminals lie that
their impulses toward wrong
doing are controlled by their
intelligence and their moral
principles. II there were no
such control. not all the police
men, courts. electric chairs
and armies IN the world could
keep human beings from de-
stroying one another.
The Washington herald., 1922-12-30
d.Ia
~ - Maurice nMamMn namA
THE SPECTATOR
The Punishment of Crime
nR. FREDERICK L. HoFF- 4

nR. FREDERICK L. HoFF-
MAN, the Prudential
statistician. announced recent
ly that murders in the United
States are on the increase.
Murders have been increasing
in proportion to the popula-
ton since 1900. and he alleges
that such crimes prevail I'm
this country to an unheard of
extent in the experience OF
civilized mankind"
In twenty-eight cities the
proportion OF murders from
1911 to 1915 was 81 to Ioo,-
900: from 1916 to 1920 this
rate went UP to SIS to 100, 900;
In 1921 the proportion had
risen to s.3. No other country
in the world shows such
record.
The Washington herald., 1922-12-30

DELIGION in its root mean
ing means that one 10
bound or tied up to something.
II is only as men are tied mp
to the idea OF law and decency
that they are restrained from
crime.
Using the term religion"
therefore, in its more exact
sense. and not confusing n
with theology nor fanciful
creeds, we are justified in say
ing that the only thing on the
earth that effectusily stops
crime is religion.