The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1922-11-15
NOT NATURAL End
Death From Old Age Never in
Scheme of Things.
Man Really Is the Only Animal That
ls coddIed, Propped Up, and
Kept Alive.

Those wistful clingers to life who
cherish the ignoblc ambition Of dying
OF old age, if they must die at all,
may be shocked to hear that death
1rom Old age is not natural death.
Ihere's paradox that will bear the
light Of reason, for it can easily be
SHOWN that such death Is quite re-
mote from the normal operations OF
Dame Nature when she is left to her
own devices, says writer in the
Philadelphia Inquirer.
Dame Nature would have made
short work OF Uncle Johnny Shell,
Nentucky's senility freak, who died
the other day at the rcputed age of
l34, had not the driveling old mans
relatives and neighbOrs, to say nothing
of the rustic showmen who sometimes
exploited him as the "oldest man. on
earth,' conspired to protect him from
the normal accidents of injury or
starvation that otherwise overtake the
: worn-out individuals of any species.
No creature Is permitted by Dame
Nature to ''lag superfluous on the
stage until overtaken by the disso-
mails don't live to die of old age. They
i. don't linger along as doddering de-
pendents, like the Kentucky Methu.
selah.
The superannuated elephant or buf-
fnlo isn't supported or tended by the
herd. 1t rctires gracefully to soli-
tary state of existence and maintains
Itself as well as it can with its failing
faculties until 1t starves to death,
stumblcs over a cliff or is overcome by
enemies.
Whatever the end may be, 1t comes
pretty quickly and is considered by
some far more fnerciful than the pro-
tractcd life that Uncle Johnny Shell
dragged out for so many years. The
elderly tiger, no longer spry enough to
catch the nimble antelope, becomes
man-eatcr and peaches babies on the
$ outskirts of some village. Then some
body gets up a tiger hunt, and an ex-
posivc bullet saves 1t from the unnat-
+ ural disgrace Of dying Of old age.
Who ever found senile or en-
fceblcd rabbit, robin, wolf bear trout,
eagle, wren, black bass or minnow?
Why, Dame Nature wouldn't dream Of
allowing her nice, clean cosmos to be
cluttcrcd up. She cleans house with
broom OF accidents.
Even the peaceful tree Is not al
lowed to cumbcr the earth beyond the
period of It's ability to withstand the
normal stress of the elements. 1t may
he a California scquOia over 5000
years old or a Cape dc Verde baobab
over 5000 years old, and it may have
passed It's period of growth and en-
tered its period OF decay. but 1t will
not be allowed to die OF old age. Some
storm will bring it down in its glory.
The untdy business Of living to die
of old age Is fad of civilized man.
It's deplorable products are often seen
in almshouses Also civilized man has
inflicted the curse upon his domestic
pets to certain extent, so that senlle
and enfeebled dogs and cats are kept
alive by sentimentalists long after out
ragged common sense would have called
for chloroform.
The tradition of Uncle Johnny's exs
treme age Is not supported by any Of
ticial records. A scientific Investigator
who sought to ferret out the facts
found that he could not honestly de-
duce any greater age for Uncle Johnny
than hundred years or thereabouts.
Local tradition always exaggerates
the age of a very old person, as in the
case Of old Parr, whose bones crumble
in Westminster abbey, and whose
fame was embalmed In aibook entitled
"rhe Olde, Olde, Very Olde Man." Old
Parr was Shropshire peasant who
was reputed to be 152 years old when
taken to London by the earl Of Arundel
and presented at court
He died the same year-1635. DR..
William Harvey, who discovered the
circulation Of the blood, performed an
autopsy and found the body in excel.
lent condition. He thought death had
been caused by the change from sim
pie country fare to the rich diet Of
London high life. On Old PARIS tomb
are recorded the names Of ten mon
archs, from Edward Nv to Charles I,
under whom he lived. But later his
torical investigation threw strong
doubt OH the length attributed to his
life.
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