Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1922-03-08

| coersfcs<T s9zt. sv EDGAR ALLAN MOSS |
ooh, my, she exclaimed impatient
ly, We'll be sure to miss the first act
We've been waiting a good many min
utes for that mother of mine"
Hours, | should say" he replied.
"0urs," she cried joyfully. NOh,
Jack, what neat way to propose"
X X X X
Admiral Kato, of Japan, who was
attending the conference at Washing
ton, says American short skirts are
shocking.
Somebody should tell the admiral
that he was sent to this country to
discuss arms not legs.
rs your daughter prominent in the
girls club ?"
she's chairman of the committee
on face powder"
| saw two girls walking down the
street,
They wore galoshes on their feet,
The day was cold and their heads
were bare,
But that's the style, so what did they
care.
Creditors havebetter memories than
debtors, says Bob Rogerson.
The Golosh Code
A code whereby Irritation may be
carried on with the galoshes worn by
girls has been devised and Viroqua
girls and fellows, too, are getting
next to it, stenographer who is en-
ployed in Main Street Office informs
the Office Cat.
When a girl wears her galoshes en-
tirely open so that the tops flop about
her calves, it signifies in firtations go
lost language: II am free and open
for engagements"
When she wears them completely
buckled, it means: II am engaged,
but may see you later"
When they are worn with the lower
buckles closed and the upper buckles
open, the meaning is: Il am in doubt.
Don't know you, but willing to make
your acquaintance. Follow me-"
One goloSh buckled and the other
unbuckled, it means: Il am engaged
and my husband is very jealous"
There is said to be more of it, but
the above are the leading signals of
the code.
Ben Brown says he don't blame Zieg-
field for giving it up. AS a producer
of follies Congress has him backed
completely off the boards.
\
The June bride who used to kiss her
husband goodbye every morning now
yells "so-long" from the kitchen.
y
Whiskers
They say that whiskers may be ban
ned from Frisco to New York. The
necktle manufacturers are putting up
a squack. The BARRIERS are crusading
for the nude and shameful chin and
all alfalfa gents are warned to haul
their windshields in. The blustry DAYS
are coming and its time to take a reef.
the chest protector makers, they are
starting in to beef The hair is badly
needed IN some mattresses, we know.
and its time to reap the harvest where
the old lace curtains grow.
Bookkeeping bids fair to lose out as
the leading American game of chance
Honey and money are almost alike
IN spelling but they differ greatly in
sticking qualities.
, When the big safe at Sing Sing re-
FUSED TO respond to the combination
the other day there several offers of
ana were made by recognized experts
%hlcn, however, were coldly refused.
Even a prison frowns on encouraging
local talent, it would seem.
Y n X
Mother-"Whoeyer taught Won to
use that dreadful word ?"
I0mmy-"Santa Claus, mamma"
Santa Claus!"
Yes, mamma, when he fell over
chair In my bedroom on Christmas
Sign in Hotel FFortnney window.
Girl Wanted Well, who doesn't.
But Didn't Throw His All at Her Feet
Poor old maid-has she ever had a
proposal, | wonder?"
"No-the nearest she ever came tn
It was when she went into a shoe shon
and made the shoemaker angry and
ne threw his awl at her feet.
X Y X
Consider the pin--its head keeps If
from going too far.
When Pa is Sick
" hen pa is sick, he's scared to death.
An ma an us just holds our breath
tie I erawls in bed, an puffs and grunts,
And does all kinds of crazy stunts.
he wants Doc" Brown, an MIGHTY
quick,
For when pas i'll, he's awful sick.
ne gasps and groans, an sort o. signs.
ne talks so queer, an rolls his ewes.
ma jumps an runs an all of ne
An all the house is in fuss.
An An peace and JOY is mighty skeerce-
when pa is sick, it's something fierce.
.e Il X X X
After it's all over, who can tell the
1inerence by the sound whether one
IS eating celery or stepping on a bas-
ket.?
X X
We go from verse to worseiill
POme
Every Goat-Getter
l grant you annoys.
But there is only one s'getter"
Who upsets nv noise