The Washington times., 1922-04-16
BY LADY DIANA COOPEl
(Engauds Most Beautiful Wonan) st'. V4eg
Customs That Are convennt Should Be Abolished Says Lady Cooper
Who Dcoscs on Changing Etiquette OF Society and the Need for
Book of Social Rules to Aid Nervous Young Men and Maden

are inconvenient should be abolish
ed. and customs that compelled one
to get up for breakfast. or to visit
ones second cousins. should never
have been invented.
But for the habit of going into
dinner arminarrn there is q great
deal to be said. During the war IT
fell into disrepute. the reason prob
ably being that 1t set a. certain
stamp upon the entertainment
which those who gave itwers anxi-
Gus to avoid. 1t did not matter If
a few weary war.workers foregsth-
cred with a little band of heroes on
leave and consumed their retions
together. But II the same people
approached their rations srn-in-
arm. the thing became q dinner
party, a heartless. frivolous af-
fair; the war.workers became un-
feeling butterflies to whom the war
had never been brought home, and
the heroes wers Immediately sus-
pected as skirmshankers who must
surely have overstayed their leave.
CUSTOM DISAPPEARING.
So the good old fashion of walk
ing into dinner armIn-arm begins
to disappear, and the hostess, on
the plea of simplicity, will some
times urge the ladies to lead the
way into the dining room without
further ado. But further ado there
always is. Nobody will lead the
way. Confusion results.
Those behind cry Forward
And those in front cry 'Backr-
And the result is similar in APP
pearance to flock of sheep being
driven over a narrow bridge. The
men follow at a respectful dis
tance, furtively urging one another
forward with encouraging prods in
the back. And all the while the
soup is getting cold and the con-
versation is waiting to be started.
The growing tendency to omit
introductions is also a frequent
source of embarrassment. For
eigners are so upset by II that they
are sometimes driven to introduc-
ing themselves-a most disconcert-
ing process for all. 1t is shame
and reserve which prevents the
English from introducing as much
as theN should. The Americans
are the greatest introducers. They
will give you >the ancestry and
biography of man in a sentence,
which. II he is an .Englishnlan.
makes him very uncomfortable at
the time. but saves many difficult
ties and dangers afterward.
IL introductions are a mistake,
let them by all means be sbol-
ished; but IL it has been proved
that they tend to make the wheels
of the social chariot roll more
smoothly, let them be obligatory
and universal.
BOOK WOULD BE BOON.
What an excellent thing II would
be IL we could codify the laws q
society! What a boon 1t would be
to the nervous young men and
maidens at their first ball or first
country house party! Clearly and
scuccinctly would be set down the
correct line OF procedure for a girl
who has stood for two hours in
the doorway of a ballroom await
ing a partner The youth who
hesitates at the door OF the break
fast-room, wonder whether he
should on entering walk straight
to the hot dishes. or whether he
should first say "Good-morniny.
to his hostess. and whether he
should shake hands with her or
bow to her or kiss her, and whether
he should take any notice Of his
host or cut him dead-these and a
thousand similar problems would
be swiftly and satisfactorily set
tied by reference TO the book OF
rules.
Such a book has, Of course, Al
ready been written. II appeared
at tho beginning OF the sixteenth
century. 1t was intended original
ly for the somewhat limited society
Of Urbino. and II only professed to
be a guide for the men; but every
rule and precept laid down in 1t u
still In universal application. John
Addinston symond summarizes it
thus: s-
ITO be able to conduct himself
with dignity; to know how to win
the favor of his master and TO Sc
cure the goodwill of his peers; to
retain his personal honor and to
make himself respected without
being hated; TO inspire admiratio,.
and to avoid envy: to outshine nj.
honorable rivals in physical exer-
cises and the craft of arms; 10
maintain a creditable eaufpage and
retinue; to be instructed in the arts
OF polite intercourse; TO converse