davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1922-04-19
new DIRECTORY
GIVES RACE IN
NAMES T0sM|TH
Fifteen and Half Pages Need
ed TO List Then,--Jones
a Good Third.

Did the United States deal fairly.
and open and above board with the
world powers in the recent disarma
ment conference7
This question was asked today
when Il was learned that. although
no mention was made Of these things
at the agenda, the Administration
has under cover in Washington IS
Ships. is Forts. s3 cannons. II
Gums. Sword. and Piaine. -
II is hardly probable. however;
that any international complications
win result because of this conceal
ment. because under cover" means
under the cover OF the new Washing
ton city directory which made its APP
pearance today, and in IL are 10 be
found Spies and 140 Hicks.
Traversing the arid wastes of
nomenclature within the confines ~
the sleek and saffron volume, one
learns that Washington has within
her own boundaries the maSings OF
q first-class baseball team what
with 22 Pitchers, Fielders. 4 Base
man, Strikers and 2 Batters. who
are accompanied by IS Hits, 20 Tai
leys, 1 Runner and Flies.
For Woman's Eyes.
Those of the feminine persuasion
may be interested TO know that there
are eight different Styles in Mr..
Boyd's latest contribution TO modern
literature They viii find pair of
Socks, but no garters with which 10
al 10 talU 4 a
for the Dressers TO wear, although
the Hatters have turned out 3
Bonnets, and Gowans are available.
There are z Powderiys and 2 Pow.
dermakers.
II Is quite evident fre,n the mum.
ber of Beers, Wines, Sherrys. Ports
and Brandwynes that the Drinkers
and Drinkards win not suffer for re-
freshment. however much the
Sober may disapprove.
As per usual, Mrs. Sigfried Aal. of
ZOOS Columbia road, heads the pro.
cession this year. with William zych-
iinski. Treasury Department EN-
ploye. winding up IN. the rear nicely.
thank you.
Smiths Have Good Run.
The Smiths, Joneses. Browns and
Johnsons continue TO run their merry
race for superiority of numbers. M
Boyd devotes ten pages of his inspir-
| ing work TO listing the names OF
members of the Jones family. exact
ly fourteen TO pay his respects 20 the
Browns. more than fourteen TO tell
who is who and where In the John
son clan. while fifteen and one-haif
pages are all that are needed to keep
| tab ON the Smiths. t
The makers of the new city direc-
tory seem TO have made a good job
of listing everybody In Washington.
"A Kansas City musical critic once
said of Paderweski's concert: III he
struck bum note we didn't notice
It." And so II is with the city IA
rectory. IL anybody has been LETT
out 1T wasn't noticed this morning
In addition TO listing the names OF
various and sundry individuals, the
directory gives the usual street and
business directory. On the whole. IL
might be said to be ''of Interest
TO all"
The Washington times., 1922-04-19
U. s. to Press Claim.

Attorney General Daugherty to-
day decided to assign special counsel
10 prosecute the Governments claim
of about 50 600. 900 against the Lin.
coin Motor Company. growing out
on war contractas
The Washington times., 1922-04-19
PRIZE WINNING ACRosTIC.

=.
Heard and Seen cans are quite
fond of acrostics. Topics OF the
Z Day" films recently offered
prixes for the best aoqnomic
remedies for b2z4ineas Mnpxpy0
naent The last prize vent to
DR.. HUGH A. BROWN. Fourth
street southeast. this city, for
the following acrostic:
r .Ess restrictive legislation,
ORGANIZED effort by all
WIDE-AwAKE attitude toward
W business opportunities.
EFFICIENT management.
RELIEF from tax burden that
stiles incentive.
TAXATION based on economic
II principles.
a GGREssIvE leadership in bush
XPANsIoN Of export trade
EsTABLIsHMENT OF better re
lations between employer and
employed
CALESMANSHIP raised to a
higher plane
THAT BOY ON THE DECK.
The boy stood nm the burning deck.
The flames around him roared.
He wondered where or how he'd
get
A small hsIi.rocm with board.
As flames began TO singe his pants
He hopped into the water, 81
He murmered, Say, this Is no
place
For that lady's darling daugh-
ter"
There's no hickory limb on which
To hang her bathing suit Of
fashion.
No shore on which she can parade,
And NO ice cream for a ration
SEASHORE SAM.
The boy stood on the burning deck,
His comrades heard him shout:
"0et out the hose. you lazy hounds,
And put this dern fire out"
SAM SIMPLE.
Teseher--Johnny, what is
steam?
Johnny = water "cra1y with
milton JET.
The Washington times., 1922-04-19

(HE!aRD1. {! '!!!' 6! .'sEE|ht |! -
!. b A X B e II o U s ,

n ~ % E ~ " ~ -
His face was full OF Iathex,
All up around his lip;
The barber began to operate
And remove some flesh each rip.
He survived this terrible massacre
And came out slsn0st alive;
Resembling . 0rcssed-up mummy
OF the ancient b. G. 5.
II hope BARRIERS won't get offended
And say that I'm q bum,
For the lathcr scraper i have In
Is totally deaf and dumb.)
GAITHERSBURG LIZ.
osaUITo TIES.
"Too many cooks spoil the
broth,p and too many cookies
spoil the kids.
Some people can't get what
they iUdut aud others can't get
rid of iohat thsv'oe got. 7
When the fsllow tries "to get
a rise" out of you IL Is up to yots
to "tdke a fdl ous OF him"
Those KaIiipolis Grotto men
are q fine bunch. When they
meet IL is never nscessavy 10
"saildepolis."
Seismographically speaking !:
When the deNtist gets ready to
pull that tooth, you have a feto
qnakss conting.
Oscnlators tn the parks ought
to discard their amplifiers.
"Does tobacco make one tired?
zoe read. No, but It makes ~
tired to see every pleasure 1Cs en-
joy pat under a sniscr0scope,
FRED VETTER. \
The Washington times., 1922-04-19

IT'S all right to "say IL Nth
fiosoers' 70 the living, but be
earsfia that your wife doesn't
oIDONO.
The Washington times., 1922-04-19
BANK REWARDS BRAVE EMPLOYE

Peter A. Drury. president Of the
Merchants Bank snd Trust Gem
pany. presenting Samuel l.. April
with n watch and chain as a
toEsen Of tine appreciation FROM the
bank for bis efforts in capturing
. man who tried 10 rob the insti-
tuition.
The Washington times., 1922-04-19

There are lots Of people who
will at once begin 10 worry
over the prediction Of sclen-
fists that In another ten million
years the earth will fan Into
the sun. SAM.
The Washington times., 1922-04-19
LOST-LINE LIMERICKS.

= A<~SS -<~AA'G rAffN&<tfChDs
NAUTILUS" would IKE to start
some lost-line limerick contests.
thereby giving poetlcal contribs an
opportunity to display their wares.
"Nautilus'' wants to have some fun
at the expense OF his would-be
brother-in-law, and offers this one.
the last line to be filled in by
contribs
A handsome cake-eater named Pete,
He made with my sister q hit,
But father one night.
Quite stern, and not bright,
The Washington times., 1922-04-19
THE PINK OF PERFECTION

The stock market close, racing en-
tries, complete financial reports and
oil news In the Pink Edition Of The
Times every day.
The Washington times., 1922-04-19

Oscnlators in the parks ought
to discard their amplifiers.
Evening star., 1922-12-17

Arlington and Fort Myer and the Vir-
ginia area, which is so rapidly develop
ing. Even with the memorial bridge
constructed and In use It will be an
artery Of first Importance. And 1t Is
essential that the approaches should
be free. with q maximum Of room for
the flow Of traffic.
This matter demands early con-
sideration. Plans must be prepared
and estimates made for the work of
cutting this avenue through to the
bridgehead, and II the project were
approved now, with the utmost speed
in these preparations and in construc-
ton. several years must elapse before
the highway can be opened. Mean
while. the traffic, which is sure to in
crease as the region across the river
grows in population, will become bur-
densome with only d single artery of
approach.
Evening star., 1922-12-17

that the street railways carry more
passengers than the motor vehicles.
numerous as the latter have become,
and that the convenience OF the great
er number is conserved by the adop-
ton Of rules which will give to car
passengers the greatest facility OF
access. At present in outlying Sec
tions Of the city. where the traffic Is
light, it is frequently necessary to
walk two or perhaps three blocks to
reach a street car beyond the distance
formerly required. The time covered
by these morning and evening walks
must be added to the travel time re-
quired Of the car riders in going to
and from their daily work. Facilita-
tion of car movements means no gain
to them.
The skip-stops were adopted as
means Of lessening, not the street
congestion but the track congestion,
at a time when the city was over
whelmingly filled with newcomers.
Meanwhile the traffic problem has be-
come acute. The problem for the
Utilities Commission is to determine
where lies the point Of greatest public
convenience.
Evening star., 1922-12-17
The Conventions and 1924.

Although a year will elapse before
the two national committees meet to
choose the convention cities for 1924,
discussion of the subject has already
begun.
The west has been remembered in
Denver and San Francisco, and both
cities were complimented on their hos
pitality. Both gave the candidates
presented square deal.
The middle country has repeatedly
been remembered. st. Louis and Kan
sas City have played host to the poll
ticians, and played it well. Chicago
has been chosen SO often, she has
come to be known as the Convention
city. In the matter of railroad con-
nections and hotel accommodations
she "holds over her rivals for recoG-
milton in convention years.
In Minneapolis the northwest was
recognized some years ago. while ten
years ago Baltimore, a southern city.
entertained the democrats.
For many years the east has not
Il
housed a national convention since
1868, nor Philadelphia since 1900. But
what is the matter with Boston, with
Providence, with New Haven, with
Trenton? Are they not all right? And
shall we see them get their dander up
and try for the coming honors?
The lower southern cities are barred
by the climate. Midsummer finds them
all pretty hot, while politicians. mill
ing around in a contest for a presiden-
tial nomination, generate sufficient
heat to suit all tastes and purposes.
There will be the usual talk about
sticking up prices and gouging guests,
and pledges demanded-and given
about such practices, but that has
come to be comedy feature of such
contests. Nobody takes it seriously, or
remembers it twenty minutes after the
convention cities have been chosen.
Evening star., 1922-12-17
Chairman HulIs Suggestion.

Did Chairman Hull err-diplomati-
cally, let us say-in asking for the
national celebration OF the November
election returns in the name Of Jack
son? Jackson day dinners are recon-
mended to the faithful throughout the
country. Should it not have been in
the name of Wilson?
Let us consider a thing or two. Mr..
Hull Is Tennesseean. He was
raised on jackson. The Hermitage
is near Nashville. How natural in
him, therefore, in thinking of a demo-
cratic celebration to think of it in the
name of his hero. Disloyalty to, or
neglect of, the memory Of Old Hick-
ory would cost a Tennessee democrat
his standing at home.
Mr.. Wilson is not only alive. but,
politically speaking, kicking. He is
clearly defined now as a figure IN the
next great quadrennial tussle. Belief
is strong in both parties that he as
pires to dominate the next democratic
national convention, not for the pur-
pose Of taking the nomination for HIM
self. but for that of bestowing it on
some man he thinks best prepared to
champion wisconsin in that years
campaign.
So that If Chairman Hull had made
his suggestion in the name Of Wilson
instead OF Jackson, he might have
been accused Of using his office i'm
properly-of putting it at the service
of the Wilson boom and ulaneuver.
There are three brands. so to say. OF
democracy. The Jeffersonian and
Wilsonian brands are severely intel
lectual. They make good talk for the
library, or for the lecture hall, but for
the hustings, where the plain people
gather and demand the real stuff. the
Jacksonian brand holds over both.
And at this day the democratic party
is making the effort Of its modern life
to appear as the friend and repre-
sentative of tho plain people. and as
willing to do everything possible for
them and in their name.
Evening star., 1922-12-17
The Worlds Biggest Business.

The biggest business Of the world
is conducted right here in Washing
ton. It's treasurer's Office at the cor.
ner Of Pennsylvania avenue and 18th
street is the scene Of the greatest
transactions known to man. Take
Fridays record, for example. In
one day one billion dollars worth of
victory notes were redeemed, s275. .000.-
900 was collected in income and profits
taxes and two issues OF notes totaling
$500 ,OOO, 900 We're foated. Here was a
days "overturn" Of s1,975,000, 900.
OF course this was not regular or
average day. 1t was one Of the excep-
tional cases, but at that it was an in
dex of the volume Of business that
Uncle Sam transacts annually
Few Americans realize the magni-
tude of the operations centering here,
the vast numbers who are directed
from headquarters in this city and the
tremendous sums that are handled.
The magnitude of the government
business has increased enormously
since August, 1914. There has been
reaction, to be sure, but still the size
Of the government machine has re-
manned much enlarged over that Of
nine years ago. The departmental
population of this city, for example, is
about double what it was in 1916,
though much reduced from the peak
of the period when the United States
was in the war.
A days business Of nearly two bill
lion dollars requires a most effective
organization. The United States has
such an organization, the product of
years of development. There are some
system. some overlappings and lack
of coordination between departments,
but the Treasury stands as a model
of efficiency and integrity. 1t handles
these big sums. reaching hundreds of
billions. without slip or slackness.
Despite all that is said in criticism
regarding the red tape" of govern
ment procedure. Uncle Sans work is
carried on with remarkable expedition
and effectiveness. A certain amount
Of red tape is necessary to check
against errors and losses. In the
Treasury these checks are especially
required. AS a result of them that de-
partment stands today with probably
the highest record ever scored in the
history of the world in respect to pre-
cision and with the lowest record Of
losses.
Evening star., 1922-12-17
SHOOTING STARS.
BY PHILANDER JOHNSON.
MISERY'S Charm.

Mystery's Charm.
We like what we don't understand.
We scorn the truth that's close at
hand,
And vainly strive from day to day
To solve some mystery far away.
The distant stars in space we heed
And calculate their size and speed,
Forgetful of the wonders shown
BY this great earth which is our own,
We sympathize from time to time
With mishap in a foreign cline,
And as we generously explore.
Forget the sorrows at our door.
We scan the future and the past,
Although our present needs are vast
And claim the best at our command
We like what we don't understand.
Evening star., 1922-12-17
Politics at Home
Roosevelt and La Toilette.

Mr.. La Toilette is the most prom
inent, and incontestably the most ac-
tive. of those at present agitating In
favor of what passes hazily by the
name of "progressivism," and popular
expectation picks him as leader two
years hence if a third party results.
This occasions much talk about the
Wisconsin senator, his talents and
temperament, and one encounters the
question as to how it came to pass
that Theodore Roosevelt overlook and
sidetracked him as crusader in the
cause Of reform. The senator had the
start, and in some things the advan-
tage, but Mr.. Roosevelt "got there"
and the senator is still struggling for
first place.
A persuasive opinion expressed is
that it was largely matter of tem-
permanent. Mr.. Roosevelt was down
right, determined, and at times stub
born, but much that has come to light
since his death-personal letters and
that sort of thing-shows that he
OlteN SOuSul COuilScl, dllu Ilot ullI e
quently was guided by it in the more
important matters of policy.
Mr.. La Toilette, on the other hand,
il we may believe some OF his ap-
praisers, is more on the Wilson order.
He has no counselors. but only lieu
tenants. He plays lone hand, and
holds his cards close to his vest. He
not only does not ask advice, but re-
sents it when volunteered. He plans
his battles without assistance, makes
his dispositions after his own notions,
and holds file leaders to the strictest
accountability.
In this latest movement the senator
is associated with some strong men,
built on his own pattern, and, like
him, accustomed to issuing orders and
insisting on their acceptance. How
will they hit it off together? So much
is in the scale, and SO much depends
on nice adjustments, this progressiv
ism play is certain to attract great
deal Of the closest attention.
Evening star., 1922-12-17
Redistribution.

Redistribution.
The Senate appropriations commit
tee continues to hold hearings on the
reclassiiication bill. which. after ap-
proval by the committee on the civil
service, was referred there for further
consideration. Action at the present
session is urgently desired. to the end
that the proposed reorganization of
the departmental service may be ef-
fected by the beginning of the next
fiscal year.
Reclassitication in principle is dem
onstrated to be necessary to permit
the establishment of the government
service upon the basis of efficiency
and Standardization of duties and COM
pensation. 1t is an essential in all
business institutions that workers
should he rated according to their re-
sponsibilities and paid in keeping. The
government. grown in the course OF
decades from a few thousands of en-
ployes to $4,000 in this city. alone Of
the large employers fails to maintain
such a system.
The bill that has already passed the
House and has received the approval
Of one of the Senate committees Is the
product Of long and careful con-
sideration of the subject by group Of
departmental and bureau workers who
have contributed to the project their
Judgment as to the most efficient and
equitable division Of labors and classi-
fication of duties and pay. Their
recommendations, modified in certain
respects and co-ordinated with the
general scheme of departmental or
SANITATION, have been embodied in
measure that is recognized as fair
allotment.
Delay in the consideration Of the
measure by the Senate endangers its
chance of passage at this session. 1t
is desirable that when the bill is final
ly reported to the Senate it should be
given the support of all who believe in
the principle of Redistribution. AT
the short session obstruction may
mean defeat for even the most meri-
torious measure. Therefore II the
present consideration by the appro-
priations committee works to the end
of adjusting differences it is well
spent.
Failure to pass this bill, in some
form, at the present session means
that a great work will have to be done
over again in the next Congress, for
it will die with this session. Despite
the number and Importance Of the
measures that are now before the
body it would surely seem that the
Senate can find time before adjourn
ment to take up and pass to confer
ence this bill, which means such ma
terial economy to the government and
such an advance toward the highest
efficiency in its working force.
Evening star., 1922-12-17
School Sites.

A new site has been proposed for
the Mckinley Manual Training School
at a considerable distance from the
present building, which has been long
outgrown. This site is Of nature to
permit the construction not only OF a
much larger building Immediately,
but its extension in the future, should
enlargement be necessary.
1t should be the policy in the plac-
ing of new school buildings to select
ground that will afford a maximum
of room for future development. Much
of the trouble of the present arises
from the fact that buildings have been
placed on inadequate lots, with fixed
boundaries such as to cramp and pre-
vent expansion. The Business High
School is a case directly in point. 1t
has long since reached the limits or
the lot and has far outgrown. The
Mckinley, or Technical, High School
has been enlarged until it. too. has
reached confining boundary lines, and
its further expansion is not possible
save at very great expense.
No school should ever be located
save with a view to its development
and the increase Of its use, unless the
policy Of smaller buildings is adopted.
Experience proves that the larger
building, preferably the twenty-four-
room building in the graded schools.
is the me t economical and efficient.
A unit school like the Mckinley High
School or the Business High School
should be housed under a single roof.
or in a specially planned group closely
connected.
The time may come when the Tech
nical High School will be divided into
two sectionally located separate instl-
tutions, as was the case with the
academic high schools-increased from
one to three. AT present, however,
there is no disposition thus to null
tiply, and students go to the Mckin-
lev. as to the Business, from all parts
of the District.
In selecting q site for a school con-
SlQ6EdllOIl SIloQlo DC gwen NV AAANN >As
to the plan Of the building Of today
and the possible building OF the fu-
ture, but to the recreation space re-
ouirements Of such an institution. At
present the Mckinley High School has
no playground" nor has the Busi-
ress High School. The students OF
those schools must find their outdoor
recreation in the streets. This is true
Of several of the grade schools. one OF
which, located at 10th and H streets.
has but a patch of yard with the
result that the little children are
forced at recess into the streets and
are in extreme danger from the traffic.
All Of these faults should be scrupu-
lously guarded against in subsequent
school emplacements, and the con-
sideration of cost Of sites should al
ways be had with a view to the ul-
innate utility. safety and economy OF
the school establishment.
Evening star., 1922-12-17
virginia Avenue Extension.

A proposal to extend Virginia ave-
nue. west Of Rock creek to the north
end Of the new bridge in Georgetown
has been made In a bill introduced in
the House yesterday. The purpose Is
to provide suitable outlet for traffic
from the bridge and to prevent con-
gestion on NJ street, which Is now the
only practicable means Of approach to
the bridge from the east. NJ street, or
Bridge street." as 1t used to be called
in> the old days. is crowded now, and
moreover carries double car tracks. 1t
cannot be widened without destroying
business property. Nor, indeed. can
Virginia avenue be extended west of
Rock creek without entailing some
destruction Of property. The choice
lies between a widened thoroughfare
or two streets. In the circumstances
there would seem to be no doubt as to
the better method.
Owing to the topography Of the
river side Of Georgetown conditions
are difioult in adjusting modern traf-
fic. It is inconceivable, however, that
this problem should remain unsolved
simply because Of those difficulties.
Greater obstacles have been overcome
in the past. and this should not be
permitted to remain indefinitely, en-
failing delays and involving dangers.
Until tho proposed Arlington memo
rial bridge is built tho new bridge at
Georgetown-which it is hoped viii be
oflciaIly named the Key bridge-will
remain tho chief means Of access to
Evening star., 1922-12-17
A Fashion Hint for Men.

IN a group that dropped in at my
L house for bite to eat after the
play the other evening was Ray Long,
who is reputed to get a Presidents
salary for running a group Of maga-
zines. A new dinner coat that he
was wearing was instantly acclaimed
by the ladies present. 1t had lapels
Of black velvet and with il he wore
black velvet waistcoat and an old
fashioned black satin stock.
These stocks, by the way, are COM
ing again into vogue, though Cass
Gilbert. the architect. and several of
the artists have been wearing them
for years. Properly made. they cost
from IS to 81 each.
The silk top hat has almost passed
out of use in New York. At a holi-
day reception the other day only one
was visible, and even at the opera
they are seldom seen, being largely
reserved for funerals and weddings.
But a the Metropolitan there seems
now to be an increasing use of the
cOllapsible opera hat, which a few