New-York tribune., 1922-03-26

ITO Chief) But he says he basn,.
tillery, sag u
CHIEF OF sTAFr-1ell Mn = :.
from one Of .he public parks SIND =. =. ''f'
along. Diing &
The generals r7sh about ts. cam. ...,.
preparedness Enter Captain Of zv,~' ,'''
witb teo ga~'st, Jony males dlro,einn ~ ..'~<'s
cGn1or. Ts
CAPTAiN-Bsst could do. .;r
mules had been hanging around y. 1''s
lornly, and ] couldn't drive tb. S''' ~
Finally | swore at them, but thew ws.. ''''
for that, and it only made EN- st.t :, AS'a
Guess they are old army mules 7 h;.'ss, i'es'
them to this gun from the park and s .s"V'
some old ammunition had buried ST. . "
CHIEF OF STAFF-Great, n
rounds? A'
CAPTAIA-Ten, sir.
ASsISTANT-Not enough.
giona4 salute requires seventeen.
CHIEF OF STAFF-We are lot
ASSISTANT-We can but do On,
CHIEF or sTAFF-Right e.,..;
the time for the salute arrives fire n,+,, -
ammunition is exhausted. Then stand "a
guns--I mean, gun.
CAPTAIN-Very q0od sir r.
low.
AtGrumss, eocnrs,ons crd ;unkst, ui.s,..
Inter q large tody of Co7,grsssmen b.o~-
6anners p-ocJoaning them 10 Be amoIle~ y ,..
cduocates. They cpproacb and ous. ' ~
p''eaeircly at dlsta1>ce The copt.in ~.
n5ences 10 Pre- gGLutes from his qntigue o,n...
tsing torch and O poseder trqia. The e.
gressn,e5t raise their right hands ami -,
their iadec fingers, counting each ror,(
When the tenth shot h4s been fired nnd t,,.,
is stle1aco the Coagres8nea odyancs IN M.
for~nntto7s7 shouting ald etoEtng their ss,
FIRST CONGRESSMAN-Whers !, Il.
rest Of our salute?
SECOND CONGRESSMAN-Cons sey.,l
THIRD CONGRESSMAN-Outrag A.
long as the mighty Mississippi, father Of VII
ters, flows throughout this broad, fair land 4
ours, l ---, etc, etc.
all the Congres8nsen nsaks long spsscfa
which stenographers franticotIy tnis dom
Finally the Chief Of Staf makes himself hecs
CHIEF OF STAFF-Gentlemen, you s.H
caused our army to be cut down to little more
than a corporaPs guard. You have withdraw
our garrisons from all Of our colonial DOSES
sons. From 29O posts, forts, flying field and
camps within our territorial limits We have
been reduced to a few sentry boxes, and theg
are in bad condition. Our pay can't compare
with that Of policemen. In Short you have
just about done for US.
FIRST CONGRESSMAN-Th should be
enough army and armament to FIRE salutes.
SECOND CONGRESSMAN-There ough!
TO be more army posts-at least in my state.
CHIEF OF STAFF-And perhaps, gentle
men, you will admit there is need for an II
crease in the army and navy now that five ri'
tions have declared war on us.
Cries of surprise ana indignation burst frss
the Conyrsssmen. They Immediately make lsE
speeches aud dispatch tslegroms to thesr CO..
stituencies, declaring th1t they are ready b
defend their country TO the last drop Of TIER
blood. As soon os the last boy hes depcrtsd
,oith these messages ths Chief Of Staf massi
on address.
CHIEF OF STAFF--Nov that you gentle
men have put yourselves on record, an happ!
to be able to offer your patriotism an ia'san
opening. I appoint you all second leusensas'
'ASSTSTANT-Second Iieutenants, faI ~
Right dress! Front! Squads right, ms'a
(Eseunt, accepting. Re~eptor Admircaj
ADMIRAL-Don't fire until you sec !"
whites of their eyes.
ARMY MULES-Haw! Haw!