The New York herald., 1922-10-01

question! Englislmen are dreadfully
! unfunny. They are so thoughtful and
serious. But. of course. interesting"
| At this point Chaliapin noticed that
one little man in corner was staring
vapidly into the air without appearing
TO grasp anything of the conversations.
He addressed him with his huge arms
extended as though he intended to take
him TO his ponderous bosom.
Chaliapn. in French - Dear little
man, don't you understand, ehT'
Unkempt miniature. in English-"Oh,
really II doesn't matter. can under
stand your hands when you talk. You
should have been an actor. sir"
chaliapin out of the throes OF hilaIi-
Gus laughter, In broken English--"My
little man, don't worry with my nom
sense. Drink the whisky near YOU"
The little man-'Thanks / will. (To
HERALD) Isn't he funny? OF course, You
have a great advantage in being able
to talk to the brute in his own aborig-
inal language"
Spats wearer-"M II Monsieur Chaliapin,
can you tell us funny storyT'
Chaliapin to HERALD. In Russian--"My
God Does this individual. whose brains
appear TO be hidden under his spats
think that l am a performing monkey?
This atmosphere is not conducive to
mirth, but will invent one"
Chaliapin to Spats--''You really are
clever as an interviewer. By the time
you have finished that bottle of whisky
you will know all my private business.
"Yes. here is a funny story
The giant singer rose to his feet,
walked TO and fro across the room, TAX
! ing a SLY laugh toward THE New York
| HERALD man every now and then, as
he invented his story.
THE STORY.
when l got on the boat at Bergen. in
| Norway to cross to England l was very
ILL., Everything had gone wrong in that
country. / mean there is prohibition
there. and l had to use a napkin every
time i wanted a little whisky in res
taurant. I walked up and down the
deck Of the ship in great agitation. l
looked out to sea in vain searching for
something that would catch my eye and
make me see the joyous side of things.
or a sudden noticed that great, big
man was continuously passing me in
he passed. and again and again he
stared at me fixedly. He even got be-
hind n door Ito HERALD: A door on a
deckD and looked at me furtively from
behind it with half his head hidden.
MY heart began to beat wildly.
travel, as you know, on Soviet pass
port l thought this big man was going
&c make me return to Russia. Visions
upon visions flashed before my mind.
! Nightmares chased each other in wild
| disorder across my brain. Spies Spies !
! Everywhere spies I, Chaliapin, the
great basso. who had survived all the
social eruptions Russians have been
able TO invent since the Germans started
| the war business: /. who had been
threatened with every danger Who
had nearly died for lack OF whisky and
from the results of it; spied upon!
My nerves. weak and jaded. gave
way under the strain. l went to the
steward. Steward / cried. I see on
your benign countenance the trail of
whisky. This country is dying of pro-
hibition. Give me some whisky. I will
sing you the whole Of Faust!
THE steward stood amazed at my
perspicacity.
| "'How do you know, sir he asked,
that l am a WHISKY man.?
Your face, man., I cried in a
frenzy OF excitement. Your face reeks
of whisky.
THE steward gave me whole bottle
of whisky. / retired in haste to my
room. No, my box. I folded myself
up on the absurd bunk. Next TO ml
was a little round portfolio. The water
splashed only foot beneath its level,
II looked cold and angry. / opened the
bottle and took long draught. Oh! 4.
was good. / felt brave enough to fight
a legion of spies. My God Heavens