davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star., 1922-02-08
Dopey Dan Tabs a Few Beats From,
the Heart of the Nation
BY W. H. CLAGETT.

broken in health and gone ratty
| tryin' to fathom it, alienists have
spent months, aye. Bo, years diEGin'
for the cause. without results. while
the officials of the company have
battled through more'n one sleepless
night in their mad efforts to reason
it out. but all to no avail!
There amt particle O. doubt IN
my mind it's a disease, for once old
mister rear-ender gets toehold on
an inch of space in the vicinity OF US
conductors. then pull down the shut
ters!-he becomes paralytic. deaf and
blind, There he sticks until others
of his ilk, male and female. grad
ually ooze into the cramped space
between the ticket box and the back
windows. and no matter how empty
the front of the car may be. nothin
outside o dynamite could get one OF
them standpatters to mosey on a
few feet forward-no. not even II
you'd let 'em ride free. They're
absolutely immovable!
"The company's tried every know
device to indooce 'em to get WigSie
on, but there's nothin' dom: IL even
transformed all good-lookin' con-
ductors into motormen. hopin' that
mebbe some of the fair ones would
skid to the front, yet that was
failure: 'Tis rumored now that Mister
Hamilton is .thinkin' Of oterin the
newspapers free to al whom hesp et,l,
movin'. and, while that may turn the
trick, us conductors have our douots.
There's only one remedy for the mess;
accordin' to my way OF ngurih' anu
that's to install eXtry switches, anu
when the jam gets unbearable 10 sldp
loose in the. opposite direction Aha
so sayin' he waved me goodnight
and beat it for home.
" DoPEY DAN.
Evening star., 1922-02-08

| Dear Folks:
Ridin' home on a street car last
| night. with thoughts riveted on dan.
ger and disasters. happened to SCI
next to certain Capital Traction
| Company conductor, who was of
dooty. recognized the bird. not.
withstandin'H his civilian makeup
and, as I'd been itchin' for some time
to ask him a question. I kept givin
him the up-and-down until he finally
took notice.
"Well. old-timer." yawned he ,"wassa
matter? Out with it; am 1 or am ]
not the party you're after"
YOU'RE it. cutie!' says I. as l
slapped his big knee-piece. Capital
Traction Company, car number 4-l1-
"A, skid eastward along Pennsylvania
avenoo every mornin' around 8
O'Clock, totin' about 100 passengers,
seven-eights of who are either stand :
IN directly on your corns or SO close
to em that the nearness makes you
"Deee-scovered" he laughed back.
You win. friend; now what can I
do for you?"
Just one thing. mister conductor
man" ! whispered, as grabbed his
outstretched mitt. Tell me. oh, tell
me. If you can, why won't they move
In instant his great jaws set, the
dancin smile left his well shaped
mouth, deep burrows disfigured his
brow, and, like some wounded thing,
he slowly replied: Sorry. pal. but
solved problems of our busy age!
For years experts have endeavored to
unravel it. stalwart conductors have
Evening star., 1922-02-08
Da,, Cupid hints
III loves behalf:
Send Records for
Her Paragraphs
First F7oor-Lansbufgh 4
Brother

..TAANx, just loves Banner
~; Records, especially as
we are offering all the new
ones. with; dance and vocal
selections, jazz if you wish,
classics for, those who pre-
fer-ands the beauty of Ban
rler~ Records, they can be
played on any make of pho
rlograph. This is one of the
most acceptable valentines
you could possibly send.
Price is low, too. Only 49c..
80 asss.-t1.- - = -
: :, Haleeny-Phonograph She,
Evening star., 1922-02-08
It's proper to re.
ceiue from, bedux,
Such valentines
As silke,, Hose. :

THE careful one who
i sends them will like
our offerings of Kayser
Glove Silk Stockings in the
seasons favored colors, with
an abundance OF, gray in all
its shades, tan in, light and
dark, navy, black and the
rich tones of chestnut brown.
All sizes, too, and the pleas
ing texture, rich finish and
exceptional value all go, into
the good taste. Pair, $3.50.
First F7oor-Lalsburgh 4
Brother
Evening star., 1922-02-08

Pretty Accessories for
Parties Little baskets
for nuts and candies.
Heart shapes and some
novelties, but all very
Valentiney. Each, 10c.
Invitation Cards
Hosts of styles in appro-
pirate wording for the
Valentine party. En-
velopes included. At &c.
Valentines of all kinds
and descriptions for
every one in the family,
from baby to- grand
mother, who loves this
day just as she did when
grandfather sent his love
by the messenger of the
ages, Saint Valentine.
Priced according to size
and quality, but all rea-.
sonable.
Playing Cards-Of
course you'll play cards
at the Valentine party,
so select from t h e S e
good brands at zoc, SOC,
75c.
Evening star., 1922-02-08
4 very useful
Valentine
Umbrellas, for
Both rain or shine.


THIS group affords lei.
/ surely choosing for.
any one on a still hunt for
a practical valentine. Made
of an excellent grade of pure.
silk. with tape edge for *serv-.:
ice as well as to add a neat.
finish. Bakelite handle, with
large. wrist ring and. ends.
to match. A-inch spread;on
Paragon frame. This. UNI !:
brella is equally suitable for.
sun or rain: Prices%only.:
$500. - Z.
First Floer-Lansbargh 4
+. Brother =. -.
Evening star., 1922-02-08
To choperosse
Or -SsUeet Sixteen,
Send Lingerie
OF Crepe de Chine.
First F1o0r-LansbufGh 4
Brother -.

TT will please doubly:.i Sc:
! lected ,fr o m "a :. special
grouping we have eft,lly.
picked. Envelope .Chetnise
Of sheer but firm Crepe de
Chine: (Tub silk. too, if;
you'd rather have Hit.) And
there are any number Of
/: trimmed and tailored styles.
Then at the same. price are
dainty ). Crepe de Chin e
Gowns-so why not send
them, paying only $s.os?-s :.
Thira .Flssr-Lansbufrh q
brother -
Evening star., 1922-02-08
Saint Valentine
Sends this sUee maid
4 Ron,per Frock.
So sr,,arfly n,ode..' ,

FITS a. Polly Prirn Z-lr-I :
! Romper Frock, too, aid
there are so many different
colors, styles and effects that
any little girl from 2 to 6
years old will be pleased.
Gingham or .chambray, with
boomers to- match. Some
trimmed with gayly coiored
materials Some hand-etr1-
broidered. Others are hand
shocked, and the prices are
only $z.zS, $29s and $4.o5.
Fourth Fleer-LaasSuIst 4
: BrotheF
Some suitors send
.:, !: Their lady lores *: -.
4 pair Of Sixteen
Button Cloves. :
A ND they make better
"A headway if they select
the beautiful, genuine White
Kid Gloves of seftest quail
ity,. full cut. arms and over
seam sewn. The new spring
frocks, with either elbow
or shorter sleeves, call for
long gloves, and the, social
season; now at its very
height, also creates: the need
of sixteen button length
white kid gloves. such as, we
offer: at $3.50.
: First E1ser-La.sb1rsl 4.
Dro&AeH>-. p,
Evening star., 1922-02-08
To Sister, Mother.
Sweetheart, Spouse,
Send this Nom

To Sister, Mother,
Sweetheart, Spouse,
Send this Ne,u
Cingham Bordered Blouse
TT is very much prettier
/ than the sketch indicates,
for it is impossible to show
the pretty color effects. A
novelty striped voile in dim
ity style, with genuine An
derson :Gingham trimming
in various arrangements.
Tailored. to be sure-just
what she'll like for her
spring suit; and as there are
m any different styles in
voile-color and white-se-
lect freely at $3.o5.
Second F100r.-Lansbufxh 4
Brother
Evening star., 1922-02-08

Box of Valentine Ma
teria1s Containing
everything to make Val
entines. Children will
not only find amusement
but entertaining infor-
nation. There is a sheet
of instructions how to
make them, too; and the
outfit complete is only
35c.
Valentine Napkins -
For the party. White
Will h blood-red hearts
and otller--decorattion
appropriately arranged.
Dozen, loc.
49,. IT : ~" -.-szs-
Seals for Valentines
Different kinds, but all
with the Valentine idea
we'll expressed Pack
age at 10c.:
Snappers for Favors-
Brilliantly red like the,
heart of Saint Valentine
himself. Variously dec
GRATED. Twelve in a
box. At $1.@. -
Evening star., 1922-02-08
The s,reetest story euer told,
By man or ,uoman. young or old.
Will You Be My.Va1entine?

MO NATTER how you sayit, whether by
~ sending the time-honored Valentine with
lace and flowers, an invitation to the dance or
Valentine party-however you convey your
sentiment on that day, you'll express the right
idea with these:
Evening star., 1922-02-08
To relatives or
Friends, one may
Send Kdles,tines.
OfNe4l;gee. :.
First FIeor-LaaSt1rEh q.
Brotkees -


GO it's quite: in order for
y us to suggest these Box
Loom Crepe Kimonos in a
variety Of. styles, ,aeolors and
embroidery effects TO make
your head swim. !" Z
Glowing :coaors for the
woman of a. prediie ection
for briiliancy. Then If you
want the quieter tones, such
as the, new periwinkle or
grays-here in abundance.
Slip-over and regulation ki-
mono models, at. prices rang
ing. from $S.9s 10 sazs.
!, = - :
Thirl ElOors-LansbtIIh q
Brother
Evening star., 1922-02-08

Saint Valentine says:
Hearts are trumps''
But she'll accept
A pair Of Pumps.
u ARTICUL.ARLY if they
are the new and attrac-
tive. Edith Pulnps-the foot
wear. vogue of the moment.
Of excellent patent leather,
with strap and trim of black
suede and the favored Baby
Louis heel, hand-turned
soles, kid lining and a pearl
button to fasten the strap.
All sizes and widths in the
collection, and priced for the
purchasers economy, >$11.5O.
Second Flo0r-.Lansb..xh 4
Brother
Evening star., 1922-02-08

First Floor-Lansbarsh 4 Brother
Evening star., 1922-02-08
First FlO0r-LansbufEh &
Brother

0F IMPORTED moire. in
~ navy and black, with
all the indications of an ex-
pensive bag, although it
isn't. Silk cord handle fin
ished with silk tassel, and
the fittings are. of that high
grade character belonging to
bags costing very much more
t h a n these. Mirror in
shirred pocket and inter-
ch a nge compartment on
swivel. All this excellence
for only $4.95.
First Floor--LansburEh &
Brother
Evening star., 1922-02-08

Black and Blue
Serge Dress Skirts.
made with side pock-
cts and narrow belts.
Splendid for house
wear.
Evening star., 1922-02-08
Saint Valentine
=: Who ought to kno,c,
; Says, Send Madame,

2 CHtc CHdPedu
WE AGREE with him. so make a hurried announce
y" n1ent about the new, becoming Hats of Soft
Hemp, with Vuture and Ostrich Trimming. Differ
ent arrangement of this fascinating trimming, with
gracefully hanging ostrich Coors include periwinke,
turquoise PEARL navy, bonfire, leaf green, French gray
and others. The price is only $3.50.
Evening star., 1922-02-08

Small lot Sleeve
less Jumpers. of serv-
iceable serge. silk
braid edged, 2 hip
pockets and finished
with narrow patent
leather belts.
Evening star., 1922-02-08

About so suits in
plain colors and neat
stripes. G h o / C e of
Midd Us, To m m Y
fuckers and a few
button pants styles.
2 to s sizes.
Evening star., 1922-02-08
S1.OO Women's Veie
Waists

Crisp White Voile
Waists. d a i n t i ! y
trimmed with fine
lace insertions and
edgings. Eight beau
tiful styles.
Evening star., 1922-02-08

NJ ade OF high ,
grade madras and a
few galatea cloths.
straight leg and elas-
tic button styles.
Light or dark scolors. =
I All sizes.
The Caledonian-record. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1920-current, 1922-08-02
BY EDWINA

and to make them conform with
degree of fit and finish to the TO-
tund, and chorubic frame of Cud-
dy.
SO after endless refitting, re-
vamping, and retouching, the
pair of suits we're assembled to-
gether. Great chunks of cloth
were inserted under the arms.
Yards of material were spliced
within the girth, which had to be
stretched from "a to As.
"The chest measure, said Col
Inns, must be size 50--l never saw
anything like it. I've been in this
business a long time but | never
did see a ball player take a big
ger uniform"
eyes, | guess, We'll be able to
get the uniform done by noon.
I've laid aside all my other work
and we're putting all our time on
Cuddy's suit
SO, fans, if Cuddy twirls 'em
into heart of the plate today, you
can thank Ceilings Brodien, who
came to the rescue. "Cuddy's d
good fellow, says Collins, "and
I'd do anything for him."
The Caledonian-record. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1920-current, 1922-08-02
Burial of Mrs. Colby
In Worcester, Mass.

Funeral services for Mrs. Sarah
E. Colby were held at the home
of her brother, William A. Lyster,
16 fremont street at 2.30 Sunday
afternoon. Rev. George w. Hyl-
ton officiating. Ernest Skinner of
Passumpsic rendered a solo. Blu
rial was in Worcester, Mass, be-
side her first husband. Mrs. Col
by's two sons, Philip A. Bemis and
William A. Bemis accompanied the
body to Worcester. Relatives
here to attend the funeral includ-
ed, P. A. Lyster and T. c. Lyster,
and Mrs. H. F. Tree of the Pro-
vince of Quebec, Mr.. and Mrs. j..
r. Lyster, Philip and Paul Lyster
and Mrs. Frederick Bowman Of
Littleton, N. H., Mr.. and Mrs. H..
W. Lyster and w, A. Bemis of
Lyndonville, Mr.. and Mrs. Harry
Brownlow of Danbury, Ct, Mr..
and Mrs. Carl Batchelder of Bar
ton and Mr.. and Mrs. P. A. Bemis
OF Windsor.
Sarah Eliza Lyster was born in
The Caledonian-record. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1920-current, 1922-08-02

WEDNESDAY, AUG. 2, 1922
The Caledonian-record. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1920-current, 1922-08-02

your judgment is mulch respected
by all who know you.
And we kepp on wawking, pop
saying. He dident hit me off so
badly. l bleeve there's a lot to
that berth bizzniss. And on the
way back the man was still there
and he saw US coming, saying. One
dime, no NOR tand no less, for a
true and accurate reeding of your
caracter according to the stars,
jest slip me a dime and the day
and date of your berth.
Me saying to pop, G, pop he
don't remember you, wy don't you
have your caracter red agen and
see if he says it the sam?
I've herd verse Ulcers, pop sed.
And he handed the man dime
agen, saying, l was born the 23rd
of August 1877, and the man sed,
All, that brings you under the sine
of Shippyshape or the ostrich star,
which meens that you are easily
led and more inclined to take the
opinions of others than to trust
your own, your cheef failing is
carelessniss and lack of will
power.
And we kepp on wawking home,
pop saying, A lot of tommyrot,
that's all it is, without a werd or
sillable of truth in it, | never did
bleeve there was enything to this
berth bizzniss.
Hee hee, ma sed. And we kepp
on wawking nome.
The Caledonian-record. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1920-current, 1922-08-02

Me and pop and ma was taking
a wawk last mite on account of ma
and pop thinking it was too hot to
go to the movies, not making eny
diffrents wat | thawt, and we
started to go past a man all dress
ed up in along black thing and a
blackhat like a clown hat with
stars and moons on it, saying,
Ladies and gents, step up and
tell me the day and munth of your
berth and for one dime | will give
you a correct Ieeding of your car
acter according to the stars.
| think III have my caracter red,
I've always wondered if there was
enything in this horoscope bizzi-
Mss, pop sed, and ma sed, Now
Willyum, how do you Suppose that
man knows eny more about your
caracter than you know yourself.
Whose caracter is it? she sed.
I'm a CRATE believer in science,
pop sed. And he went up and
handed the man a dime, saying,
l was born on the 23rd day of
August 1877, and the man sed,
That brings you under the sine of
Sissyface or the camel star, in 9TH
er words you are a man of CRATE
penetration and mulch will power,
you are leedar of men and mulch
sought after by the ladies, and
The Caledonian-record. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1920-current, 1922-08-02
Cuddy Wears Two
Spliced Suits Today
CONTINUED from page one)

banks. Bill's suit wasn't enough
though. Colliens Brodien, genial
tailleur, chased all over town try
ing to find enough acreage to piece
out Bill Lyons suit for Cuddy.
He couldn't lind any warp or wool
TO match.
So he besought Cuddy again.
GO fetch me-, he pleaded,
enough cloth like unto the first
suit, that | may make you gar
ments of a dimension to envelop
your vastness."
Cuddy hove back to the Fair
banks A. A. building. He took
Don Gray's uniform and set forth
again for the tailor He handed
over the second pair of baseball
spangles to Collins, and the lat
ter-that was this morning-set
aside all his regular work.
He labored with all his craft and
skill to splice the twin uniforms,
to match them one to the other,
The Caledonian-record. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1920-current, 1922-08-02
Rising Tide of Better Times

The Baldwin Locomotive works
of Philadelphia which long had
local interest in Burlington
through the activity of the late
John H. Converse as their head,
have just received orders from the
Baltimore and Ohio railroad for
50 locomotives of the Mikado
type. No less than 1000 men are
now employed and President Vau-
CLAIM hopes to add 1000 monthly
to the pay roll and to be running
80 per cent of capacity by Octo-
ber.-Burlington Free Press.
The Caledonian-record. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1920-current, 1922-08-02

Durham, P. O., September 20, 1852
the daughter of Philip and Jane
(Martin) Lyster. She came TO St.
Johnsbury in early womanhood
and spent the greater part of her
life here. She was twice married.
She leaves two sons, Philip A. Be
mis- of Windsor with whom she
had lived the past few years, and
William A. Bemis of Lyndonville,
Mrs. Colby is also survived by
four sisters and six brothers.
The Caledonian-record. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1920-current, 1922-08-02
SUNNY SQUIBLETS

The thrift lessons being given
in the public schools usually APP
peal to the children, as they can
thereby accumulate funds for
candy and ice cream.
The Caledonian-record. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1920-current, 1922-08-02
FIrst-ir buffalo

On Main Street, in Buffalo,
one of the busiest thorough
fares, 5I4 drivers of pas
senger cars, motor trucks
and taxicabs were recently
asked Which gaooline do
youprefer?' Thecount, duly
attestedby amdavits, showed
the preference for Socony
to be greater than for all
other brands named. And
all through New York and
NewEnglandSocony standa
out as the popular casolin-
The Caledonian-record. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1920-current, 1922-08-02
'Dependable" includes
everything you want in a gasoline

DROBABLY nine out of every ten Socony
[ users would tell you that they use it chiefly
because 1t is the most dependable every
way wherever and whenever they get it. And
this is on " one reason why Socony is The pop
ular gasoline tod ay.
Experienced motorists prefer dependable pow
er, not an occasional flash of pep and lot of
carbon along with it. They also prefer the
economy of create, mileage per gallon rather
than the economy O. Of low price
Keep your tank filed with Socony Gasoline and you will
get the power uniformly that any gas can give you.
You will get the greatest mileage week in and week out
wherever you happen to go. You always depend on
Socony. is sraig htdistled pure and alDays has the
correct range Of boiling POINTS in he right proportion See
diagram and Note)
You can use Socony regularly because you get
wherever you go.
STANDARD OIL CO. OF NEW YORK
26 Broadway
The Caledonian-record. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1920-current, 1922-08-02

NOTE Boiling point Is a common term in
the gasoline testing laboratory. Most liquids
boil (vaporize) at one uniform temperature.
In the case of water this temperature or boil
ing-point, is 2l2' F. However, every gasoline
has many boiling points-a whole series or
range of them in fact 1t is this range of boiling
points AND the proportion Of each group of
them dow, medium and high that really
determine the quality of gasoline-its vola-
tility, power and mileage
Paragould soliphone. (Paragould, Ark.) 1918-1950, 1922-06-19
REPUBLICANS
DEMAND Dem.
BE REMOVED
Showdown is Expected In
Matter Political Quarrels
In Treasury Department
Two Ideas.
(By The United Pressl

Washington -une 16.--A fl
nal showdown in the long fight
of the Republicans to force the
removal Of Democratic APP
pointees from the Treasury De-
partment offices seems near.
About one hundred and fifty
Republican members of Congress
have signed petition which
will be presented to President
Harding today or tomorrow de-
monding the ousting Of the
Democrat and the filling of
their places with Republicans.
This action virtually forces the
president to decide whether to
support that policy or the plan
advocated by Internal Revenue
Commissioner Blair who prefers
a large number of employees ex-
perienced in the work of the
government. Secretary of the
Treasury Andrew Mellon is UNI
derstood to be in favor of the
stand Com. Blair is taking.
Paragould soliphone. (Paragould, Ark.) 1918-1950, 1922-06-19
Oklahoma Calling
For Harvest Hands

Little Rock, June 16.-The first
call for harvest hands for Okla
homa was received yesterday by the
labor commissioner, The agency
at Beaver, Okla, wired the Depart
ment to secure if possible 500 white
laborers to report as soon as pos
sible as the harvest is already on.
The men are to be used in the north
western part of the state. The
wages are $500 day and board.
The heaviest wheat counties OF
Oklahoma, located in the North Gem
trail and Northwest sections of the
state are Woods, Major, Alfalfa,
Grant Kay, Woodward, Harper and
Beaver. With favorable weather con-
ditions the harvest in the North Cen
trail counties will begin the last of
this week, and in the Northwest
ern section from June 20 to %.
Oklahoma will require some out
side labor this season and men de-
string to engage in the work will
find it convenient to apply to any
of the permanent state federal en-
ployment offices located at Oklahoma
City, Tulsa, Muskogee, Enid and
Ardmore.
Paragould soliphone. (Paragould, Ark.) 1918-1950, 1922-06-19
Officers Find Still
Brookland Section

Tho JonesDoro Tribune, of 18TH,
says: Deputy Sheriff Yves Hay
wood and son Fred Haywood were
in the Brookland neighborhood yes
terday subpoenaeing witness to ap-
pear here for the trial of the case
of the State VS.. Wash Wilson, which
opens Monday morning when they
accidentally discovered a complete
still outfit and siXtygalion iron bar
rel of mash in a dense thicket near
Wash Wilson's residence. The still
did not appear to have been used
for some time but the presence of
the prepared mash would indicate
that a run of liquor was about To
be made Since no one was in pos
session Of the outfit no arrests
were made but the officers des-
troyed and emptied the mash which
was contained in Pierce Oil Cor
poration steel drum No. 10274O.
Paragould soliphone. (Paragould, Ark.) 1918-1950, 1922-06-19
THE DELAWARE TELESCOPE.

wonderful telescope, costing
nearly a quarter of million dol
lars, is being built for the ONO
wesleyan University at Delaware
o. The story of its giving is as
interesting as anything it may here
after tell of worlds beyond ours.
Prof. Hiram M. Perkins, nearly
SO years old, whose salary never
exceeded $1,000 year, and who IS
now living on small pension, is
contributing nearly 100000 OF the
money necessary. His sister and
brother-in-law are giving the rest.
The old professor saved, even on
his small wage, and happened to
make some very fortunate invest
ments. Instead of altering his way
Of life when his wealth increased,
he liyed on as simply as before,
saved and reinvested and still saved
on, always dreaming of the great
telescope for his college. Now, at
the end of his life. he is able to
bestow it. He did not wish his
name known, and it was only with
great difficulty that it was finally
learned.
Once in the course of his long
life he inherited some money from
the sale of his fathers old farm.
This he invested In home in Della
ware. Later, just after his retire
ment from active teaching, he and
his wife dissipated wildly with a
winter in Mexico, a visit to Europe
and trip around the world. Then
they came back and lived quietly on.
There are two requirements as to
the gift First, it is to be used for
the instruction of all the students
Of the university. Second, it is to
be turned over at regular intervals
fer the use of the outside public.
After that, if there is any time left,
1t may be used for research. Prof.
Perkins believes that astronomy is
the queen of sciences. 1t outclasses
all other studies in teaching the
majesty and power Of God. There
is nothing that will give young peo-
pie such a conception of the great
ness and power and beauty of the
Creator as the study of the infinite
bodies that fill the heavens"
A kingly gift, indeed, from a
kingly soul