davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1922-12-10

war on account OF lack OF patron
age. The tickets are going
slowly and everybody over there
wants to get In free.
Eyes, they have got an older
civilization over there. to be sure.
In fact 1t II about ready for the
garbage, It Il that old, and the
garbage burner pretty nigh got It
last time. Which, being an old
civilization, reminds me Of Uncle
Tage Butts, back in my old home
town, who was another great
hand for peddling out advice
upon the slightest provocation.
'Uncle Tage Butts IL about the
oldest piece OF civilization in our
home town. He has failed In
business three times and has
swung every merchant In town
for all the traffic will stand, and
II there Il anybody he does not
owe, they have not yet moved
into the village.
"This old bird has made such
. success Of his home life that his
wife has eloped with . horse
: doctor and his two sons are
burgling somewhere In the East.
So, after getting all through with
the constructive part Of his
career, Uncle Tage settles down
to be the sage Of the town. His
speciality Il advice. He spends
his entire time running this ad-
vice factory"
"That's kind Of funny, for Q
failure" says Elias Q. Higgin-
botham.
The Washington times., 1922-12-10

w Higgenbotham, II see
" that Europe il sending
us over some more good advice.
She has got another advice am
bassador here telling Uncle Sam
we are simple-minded to stay at
home and attend to our own
business while everybody else Il
galavanting around the map and
having q good time"
advice" says Quincy, "is not
Ike medicine. You do not have
to take It unless you want to-"
"Well, this free advice IL all.
right sometimes" says Elias Q.
Higginbotham.
Anything you get for nothing
has generally got something the
matter with IT," says Quincy.
Anything you get for nothing
ID generally wuth just about what
you have to pay for II. Among
the things you can get for moth
ing are smallpox. Spanish in
fluenxa, Q ride to the station
house, cigar coupons and Euro
pean advice. The last named Il
the least valuable Of all.
'Ths last piece Of advice We
got from Europe for nothing and
which We swallowed, hook, line.
and sinksr, cost ~ shout 10000
900, 900 bucks In round numbsrs
and our great grandfather win
still Be paying for II. Free advice
b generally more expensive than
the kind you have 70 buy. :.
EVERY tims you, buy ..
theatre ticket, you are still pay
Ing for that BIT Of free advice we
rot from Europe. Now they are
anxious to let us into the League
Of Nations free. In fact they
vim give " . season pas. but
how much II It going to cost NJ
to get outi"
swell, they have got q purity
old civilization over there" says
Elias Q. Higgenbotham. land
thsy should ort to know what
they are talking about"
"They sure do" says Quincy,
'and what t.sy are talking about
10 to get us to put up for another
war. Them things b their
favorite form Of outdoor sport,
but they come high and the only
guy who is financially able TO
bu, : ticket TO another war just
now b Tn. same old Uncle Sc .
who has got sie. It entertain
nents and = sitting homa IN his
.ocking feet and reading the
wspapers.
They are postponing the -nsxt
The Washington times., 1922-12-10
Quincy Todd on Foreign Advice By Roy K Moulton

most all been stung by his advice
at some time or other and they
also get very weary Of supporting
rer IN idleness, and SO they finally
tell him he can quit the advice
business and 60 to work at some
light Job that will keep body and
soul together, or he can starvs.
"Well, after waiting three or
four weeks to see II they was In
earnest, and beginning to feel .
trifie hungry, he accepts . job
as flagman down to the railroad
station, where he has to stay
cooped up al day without =
chance to give any advice and
they have no more trouble with
him and 90 far ~ know he II
there yet.
"Some Of the constant victims
Of his advice got together and got
this Job for him without him
knowing It. They tried to get .
lighthouse for him to keep but
the lighthouses were all taken"
J IT have seen . lot Of guys
like that" says Elias Q. Higgin-
botham.
"Yes," says Quincy, "and you
have seen some whole continents
like that and one Of them u
Europe. Eight thousand Euro
peans have been over here since
the war advising ~ what to do.
Some Of them have come gratis
but most Of them have charged
80 . seatsfor this advice out on
the lecture circuit"
''1t might pay NJ to take some
advice once In awhile, at that"
says Elias Q. Higginbotham,
"Sure," says Quincy. 1--WE
need advice. Our methods are
all 20 wrong that We are nothing
now but the only real pros
porous and happy country In the
world. We should or to change
al that and take . little advice.
Our system b all run down. II
u 20 bad that most Of the 90
called poor classes are riding
around In automobiles. We
ought TO get on the European
level, which We should II We took
her advice. In Europe 4 takes
Z moving van load Of money to
buy . loaf Of black bread.
Europe b the Wildcats whisksrs." /"
'weIl." says Elias @. Higgin-
botham. ".sometimss' when. I look
the way things are going, I don't
blame her for advising m"
"ghs has Just sot 10 sdviss ~.
That's nature. u always takes .
bsgg.r 10 ad~iss . banker"
~.A ~-ss.s. ~s~e s>~~A
The Washington times., 1922-12-10

mot at ALL" says Quincy.
"They all do II. When you get
advice from . successful guy,
you have to 60 and ask him for
1t and you, generally, in some
way or another, have to pay him
for It upon delivery. But there
was one funny thing about 1t and
that was that some wealkfish were
always ready to take this advice
that was slipped to 'em without
cost by Uncle Tage and to swal-
low It. That was the funny part
Of It and that Il always the
funny part Of It. There amt no
advice peddler that can't And .
few customers.
"These credulous birds would
listen to Uncle Tage's advice and
say, Well, he has still got . pair
Of suspenders and . pair Of over
alls, 10 he Is not . total failure.
Maybe his advice IL worth some
thing
"If a young guy In our town Is
having q love affair that he can't
handle, Uncle Tage IL at his elbow
with advice, in spite Of the fact
that his own wife eloped with a
horse doctor. II any business
concern gets into . jam, Uncle
Tage offers his counsel and tells
thep how to get out, and how TO
mako money. Then he viii 60
out and bum q lunch ofY'n some
widow who takes In washing.
"Peopls finally lose their tasts
for this old bird after . good
many years because they have
The Washington times., 1922-12-10
Oscar, the
Trained Clan,
BY De Vaux Thomson.

BY De Vaux Thompson.
n FIRST met Oscar Chowder
the trained clam. at a
luncheon party in his own
home, . restaurant on Varick
street, and the party who intro
duced me to him assured me that
he had brought Oscar up from
childhood and that Oscar is the
only trained clam In the world.
! found Oscar to be q modest
and retiring young fellow. but in
,teresting and well-mannered. I
was much attracted to Oscar at
once and ] determined to get
something Of his life history, a
1t IL seldom one meets with q
trained clam Of Oscars clever
ness and points.
Oscar comes from the Little
Neck family, but, Of course, I
made no allusion to this az I
could see that he was fully con-
scious Of It and continually
ducked his chin down under his
collar a. much a. possible In
order to hide his neck.
4 It seems my friend, the restau-
rant keeper, picked Oscar up
when Oscar was . mere child, and
took him under his wing, II may
/use tho expression, In referring to
. restaurant keeper. Few Of
them. ] believe. have wings or
the prospect Of any in the future.
he gave Oscar . liberal educa-
ton and a good home.
It 10 this mans habit ~ serve
showder every Friday noon and
this Il where Oscar helps. He
! hrst taught Oscar to do . high
dive from = shelf, and then he
taught him to do it every Friday
morning. At first 1t was difficult
for Oscar 70 remember tho day,
but now he needs no coaching,
and many Of the customers flock
out to the kitchen to watch Oscar
climb up to the high shelf and
then do . graceful Kellermann
Into the steaming chowder. He
seays there only q short time and
then climbs out, but he Is there
long enough to convince even the
most skeptical that they are going
to have real clam chowder for
lunch.
OF course, being q clam, Oscar
b not what you would call
loquacious. In fact he talks but
very little and rarely with
strangers, but he consented to be
interviewed this time. my job
b not Q very difficult one," he
said. II work only one day q
week and then only for a few
minutes. Outside Of that, my
time Ii my own. ! have q kind
boss. and the customers all know
me and know that they get real
clam chowder, for I am a real
clam. This 10 much more than
can be said Of some other restau-
rant CLAIMS right in this neighbor-
hood"
Having visited some Of the
other restaurants to verify this
remark, and tasting some of their
clam chowder, ] am obliged to
say that Oscar told the truth.
The Washington times., 1922-12-10
Cogitations of a Cuckoo

@ IR THOMAS win try cup again But
said before there's slip twixt the the Upton
Western millionaire who takes any written
his epitaph and had his tombstone erected
THE CONSTANT FI-APPER-
loved . . time,
He Agesd nor rus
And do think love him sNllf
I'll tell ths world do.
THEY NEVER LEARN.
A boob sAsrs and he lost ks head
Even and l.
He quoth 10 sAs lady, Let ~ wed.
In spite Of the prices, have read,
lee ~ cheap for one" he said
Even and l.
SUBWAY HINTS.
II weigh zoo pounds, take axicab No
any friends in the subway
Paeur Institute going to monkeys, but
though there enough Of them running around
SOME DISTINGUISHED FOREIGNER
paper "ong prominent passengers
the Aquiania ETAOIN SHRDLU."
MORE DEcAPITATIONs AMI
Morning "Firemen Wrap Towels
Heads Of womsh Cut on on Upper Story"
PATROL WAGONS FOR PASSENGERS.
Govsrnent rules that all wet ships into
port dry
play written by Trot.ky produced in Moseow
ssurss. there win Be roysi. 5N
The Washington times., 1922-12-10

A Western millionaire who never takes any
,is own epitaph and had his tombstone erected
The Washington times., 1922-12-10
ByLeon Macduf.

name Of George w. Glue has OBJ
tanned q license 70 wed Miss
Burr. II this marriage doesn't
stick IL will not Re ~ fault of
either Of the participants.
A missionary has just started
for the interior Of Africa for a
long stay and to save the natives.
We wonder II he is not, also, un-
consciously starting for the in
terror Of the natives.
A prisoner recently released
from Sing Sing broke INTO a s.o.
and rified q cash register 20 thai
he would be sent back to his OIL
home. He said he was jus
naturally tired Of dodging auto
mobiles and, anyhow, hs eoulG
see good movies for nothing at
Sing Sing.
The Washington times., 1922-12-10

YER in New Jersey the
other night an actress
tainted on the stage be-
cause her costume was too heavy.
Personally, we have not seen Q
show like that one must be, in .
good many years.
A Colorado scientist now in
forms US, and with . very
straight face, that angle worms
would make for US an excellent
food II 50 many people were not
prs1udiced against them. We
don't know anybody who Il
prejudiced against angle worms.
In fact, they are 80 fond Of them
they will always let them alone
and not slaughter them for food
purposes.
The police Of New York are
going to draw chalk lines at con-
gested traffic corners and force
pedestrians to follow these lines
when navigating the street. The
trouble has always been that too
many pedestrians have been run
ming into automobiles and smash
ing them all mp. And It Is only
fair to say that the system II in
augurated at the right time, for
there are . lot more people who
can walk the chalk now than
there ware before Volstsad.
The eensors ars making
another crusade against the
movie kiss. Well, they have got
to crusade against something or
60 TO work. haven't theyi They
have got to do their stuff. This
time It is Z tough piece Of work
they have mapped out. A movie
without . kissf A lemon pie
without the meringue.
The various brands Of movie
kisses which help elevate the
screen ara the following:
The eight-minute nonstop
soul kiss, which b too expensive,
to use except In elaborate pro-
-ductions, on account of the Aim
footage.
The shuttle kiss, which ID
passed back and forth many
times between childhood sweet
hearts.
The put-and-take, such ~ hus-
band pecking wife on cheek be-
fore going down town.
The catch-as-catch-can, known
otherwise a. the wrestling kiss,
where one party b willing and the
ether b not. This h perhaps
least harmful TO the morals Of
~ sudisnsss - Il = liable 70 land
The Washington times., 1922-12-10
Yes, It's a Strange World

YER in New Jersey the
other night an actress
- tainted on the stage be-
cause her costume was too heavy.
Personally, we have not seen Q
show like that one must be, in .
good many years.
The Washington times., 1922-12-10
MORE ORGANIZATIONS.

Morning paper report says: "Firemen W
Heads Of Womeh Cut OF on Upper Story"
The Washington times., 1922-12-10

ospyrisA. issA . ssas O.
The Washington times., 1922-12-10
THEY NEVER LEARN.

a boob there was and he lost his head
Even as you and I.
He quoth 10 the ladys LET ~ wed.
In spite Of the prices. have read.
lee a. cheap for two a. one" he saiA
: Even a. you and I.
The Washington times., 1922-12-10

.7ELL," says Elias Q.
W Higgenbotham, 81 see
W that Europe il sending
The county record. [volume] (Kingstree, S.C.) 1885-1975, 1922-07-20
that BAD BACK

Do you have a dull, steady ache in
the small Of the back-sharp, stab
bing twinges when STOPPING or lift
ing-distressing urinary disorders?
Fer bad back and weakened kidneys
Kingstree residents recommend Doan's
Kidney Pills. Read this Kingstree
statement.
Mrs. R. W. Speigner, 80 Railroad
Ave-, says: "Doan's Kidney pills are
the best kidney remedy I have used.
Not long ago my kidneys were not
acting right and their irregular ac-
tor caused my back to feel weak.
I noticed a tender spot in the small
of my back. My limbs felt heavy as
though a weight were tied about my
knees pulling me down. I ha:l a tired
languid feeling and felt rather de-
pressed. Doan's Kidney pills bought
at SCOTS Drug Store made me e>
better in every way" -
Price 6Oc, at all de/Ers. Don't
simply ask for kid2y remedy-get
Doan's Kidney Piils-the Same that
Mrs. Speigner had. Foster-Mllbun
Co., Mfrs, Buffalo. N. Y.
The county record. [volume] (Kingstree, S.C.) 1885-1975, 1922-07-20
Helps for the Mother.

When foods are added to the diet
of an infant this should be done
very gradually and at all times new
ly added foods should be served in
small quantities. 1t is best not to
add new foods during the summer.
Beef juice should appear in the
menu of the average child when it
reaches the age of nine months.
Physicians recommend it even for the
fve-months-old baby WHO is weak and
anaemic. Begin with two teaspoon
fuls diluted with the same quantity
of water. 1t should be given at the
midday meal, preferably about fifteen
minutes before the regular feeding.
Gradually increase the quantity un-
til by the end Of month six tea
spoonfuls are given. Two or three
tablespoonfuls of beef juice and dou-
Bile this amount of broth, when this
is given, are ample for child OF
one year. Even a child of four years
should receive not more than two
ounces of beef juice CIR four ounces
of broth. Mutton and chicken broth
may be given on alternate days with
beef juice.
A good way to amuse the little
folk when the weather is too hot for
active playing is to half fill baby's
bathtub with water and set it either
on the porch or in shady spot in
the yard and let them sail boat or
amuse themselves with the swimming
toys. Roll up their sleeves and put
on a rubber apron so they can splash
in the water unhampered.
Ice cream cones are a menace to
children with unwise mothers. Chill
dren under six years Of age are bet
ter of without ice cream, and when
it is allowed it should be restricted
to the noon meal desert and only
once or twice a week at that. 1t
should be served in dishes and never
in cones.
The county record. [volume] (Kingstree, S.C.) 1885-1975, 1922-07-20
News From Hemingway.

Hemingway, July 18-Mr. and Mrs.
l. l.. Ard are visiting Mrs. ]. E Nor
ton at Mullins.
Miss Fore of Latta, is the guess
of her sister, Mrs. E. l. Ard.
Mrs. Annie Tucker, after a visit
to her sister, Mrs. Pridgen, left Sun
day for her home at Dairey, Penn.
Miss White of Timmonsville, is the
guest of Miss Lorena Huggins.
Mr.. and Mrs. G. B. Ingraham are
spending their vacation at Batesburg
with relativeA
Mr.. and Mrs. c. NJ. Lambert and
son, Ralph, are visiting relatives at
Florence an Mullins.
Miss Ina Burney of Veterans Hos
pital, Fort McHenry, Baltimore, Nd,
is spending two weeks here with her
sisters, Misses Annie and Leila Burney.
Mr.. Sam Mangun of Durham, N.
c.. is here in the interest of the big
brick warehouse which his uncle
operates:
The farmers in this section are
about through curing tobacco and
have a very good crop.
The many friends of Mr.. ]. E. Hem
inpway are sorry to learn that ne is
confined to his bed and hope for him
q speedy recovery.
Messrs Ste yhen Lambert and Barnle
The county record. [volume] (Kingstree, S.C.) 1885-1975, 1922-07-20
Association Still Growing.

More than thousand South Caro-
lima farmers have joined the Tobac-
co Growers Cooperative Association
as a result of the campaign which
reached 50 towns of the belt. Four
towns have just gone solidly cooper
ative and Aynor, Kingstree, Florence
anG Timmonsville have closed all
open floors.
Florence, the headquarters town Of
the association, after closing all auc-
tion warehouses last week, is putting
on the most intensive drive yet at
tempted by any city of the state.
The number of contracts reaching
headquarters has increased week by
week, as committees OF business men
and bankers from Mullins, Timmons-
vile, Kingstree, Florence and other
centers have toured the country for
new members.
Tobacco farmers are now thorough
ly reused to the need CT organization
for marketing and leaders of the as
sociation prophesy that another
thousand growers will join with the
big cooperative in the few days that
remain to August 1st, when the as
sociation will refuse to accept any
contracts for the crop of 1922.
T. C. Watkins, Jr., director Of
warehouses for the association has
expressed his satisfaction with the
warehouse situation. He now has
over 65 warehouses ready for opera
ton in the South Carolina belt.
DR.. ]. Y. Joyner, chairman of the
warehouse committee; Senator ]. A.
Brown, director from North Carolina;
W. D. Hill and E. T. Bondurant
from Virginia, and John Blanks Of
Kentucky are leading and speaking
in the drive which reaches Lake City,
Conway, Cades, Cowards, Lamar,
Pamplico, Marion, Mullins, Nichols,
Orlanta, Loris, Lake View, Fairmont,
Whiteville, Dillon and Lumberton this
week.
The county record. [volume] (Kingstree, S.C.) 1885-1975, 1922-07-20
Indiantown Items.

Hemingway, July 17.-Miss Win
ME Brown of Leo, spent the past
week with Miss Sallie Bartell. Miss
Bartell also had as a weekend guest
Miss Hessie Nay Hanna, of Vox.
Mr. Ed. Wheeler of Lake City, was
a visitor at Indiantown Sunday.
Mr.. and Mrs. James Munnerlyn of
Union, spent Sunday with Mrs. Mum
nerlyn's mother, Mrs. P. D. Snowden.
Mrs. Cottingham of Dillon, Is Wis
iting her sister, Mrs. Mary Cooper
Miss Virginia Wilson left a few
days ago for an extended visit to her
cousin, Miss Alice Gordon Cooper, of
Water Valley, Miss.
Mrs. r. E. Wilson was called to
Kirgstree Sunday afternoon by the
sudden illness of her daughter, Miss
Mildred Wilson, who had to undergo
an operation for appendicitis at Kel-
ley's Infrmary Sunday night She
is doing nicely we are glad to report.
The young people enjoyed a water
melon slicing" at Mr.. M. M. Will
sons tobacco barn on Thursday night.
Miss Emmie Wilson has issued in
vitations to several of her friends to
a party at her home next Friday
night.
The play, "Patty makes things
hum" which was presented here 80
successfully a few weeks ago, was
taken to Johnsonville Friday night.
On account of the inclement weather
only a few people were present, and
the play was not presented at all.
The county record. [volume] (Kingstree, S.C.) 1885-1975, 1922-07-20
Boy Scout Activities.

(By Rev. J. w. Davis, Scoutmaster)
For the next two or three weeks
the Boy Scouts of Kingstree will try
to furnish some amusement and eX-
citement to the fun lovers in the
community, and at the sahc time
strive to pay a debt incurred while
on camping trip. The baseball games
Tuesday were samples CT what the
Scouts are doing. The first game
which should have been played that
morning had to be played in the
afternoon. The little Scouts fought
bravely but the final score was 4 to
8 in Sumrerton's favor.
The second game between the big
Scouts was an exhibition of slugging
and fielding on the part of the home
boys. They scored almost at will on
the Summerton Scouts, and with fast
double plays cut off scoring on more
than one occasion. They played Man
ming at Manning Wednesday. While
we have not learned the result we
know for surety that the Scouts
of Manning had to exert themselves
if they won.
Tomorrow (Friday) both teams will
go to Sun,merton. The little Scouts
with the Scoutmaster, will leave at
7:3O in tire morning and will play
their game that same morning. The
big Scouts will play that afternoon.
They expect to win both games.
The attendance at the games Tues
day was rot as large as the Scout
master and troop had hoped for.
They do not want to beg money.
The note at the bank comes due
next Wednesday. The Scouts want
to make the necessary money. They
want thei, parents and friends to
encourage them and assist them IN
this landable plan. One good mother
and friend Of the boys could not
come to the games Tuesday but she
sent one dollar to show her interest
in and appreciation of this splendid
organization.
The Scouts play Manning here next
Tuesday afternoon, July 25th. A
large crowd will encourage the Scouts
and will help them pay their debts.
It is not presumptious to believe
that there will be over two hundred
people at that game for the Kings
tree people will surely help their
boys and the Boy Scouts. To those
who can not come it might not be
amiss to remind you of that gener-
Gus, thoughtful lady mentioned above,
Come help us-Tuesday afternoon,
July 25th.
The county record. [volume] (Kingstree, S.C.) 1885-1975, 1922-07-20

Harmon returned Sunday evening
from Ashville, N. c., and Union, S. C..
They reported a nice trip.
Mr.. Ben Hemingway of Rome, was
in town Saturday.
MIR. and Mrs. w. T. Hemingway
spent Sunday with the formers moth
er at Rome.
The county record. [volume] (Kingstree, S.C.) 1885-1975, 1922-07-20
FOR THE LEGISLATURE.

Friends of Mr.. B. B. Chandler here
by place his name before the voters
of Williamsburg as a candidate for
the General Assembly, subject to the
rules of the Democratic primary.
The county record. [volume] (Kingstree, S.C.) 1885-1975, 1922-07-20

hereby announce myself candi-
date for reappointment to the office
of magistrate at Lanes, subject to
the rules of the Democratic primary.
J. I. MORRIS.
The county record. [volume] (Kingstree, S.C.) 1885-1975, 1922-07-20
FOR MAGISTRATE-LANES.

I hereby announce myself a candi-
date for the office of Magistrate at
Lanes, subject to the rules and regu-
lations of the Democratic party.
o. w. J. NIXON.
The county record. [volume] (Kingstree, S.C.) 1885-1975, 1922-07-20
FOR STATE SENATOR.

/ hereby announce myself a candi-
date for the South Carolina Senate
from williamsburg county, subject to
the rules of the Democratic primary.
S. A. GRAHAM.
The county record. [volume] (Kingstree, S.C.) 1885-1975, 1922-07-20

I hereby announce myself g. candi-
date for reappointment to the office
of magistrate at Hebron, subject to
rules of the Democratic primary.
J.. w. STEWART.
The county record. [volume] (Kingstree, S.C.) 1885-1975, 1922-07-20

1 hereby announce myself candl-
date for reelection to the House OF
Representatives from Williamsburg
county, subject to the rules of the
Democrats party.
w. o. CAMLIN.
The county record. [volume] (Kingstree, S.C.) 1885-1975, 1922-07-20

To the Voters of Williamsburg county:
I hereby announce myself q candi-
date for the legislature, subject to
the rules Of the Democratic primary.
I respectfully solicit your support.
II. D. FERRELL.
The county record. [volume] (Kingstree, S.C.) 1885-1975, 1922-07-20

Are you advertising your goods to
the public? If not, try Record
advertisement AID see the result.