New-York tribune., 1922-01-03
Household Problems

Column Contraction.
Household Problems
We arise to ask with wrath
Why We never start a bath
Why we never look with hope
To brimmng tub with soap;
Why we never lathcr raise
In these tclephonic days
Save to stumble down tho hall.
Dripping, at the BELLS mad call.
And, while suds our form tncunber.
Hear the central say: Wrong num-
bcr'?
We refuse to sob too wildly over
the number of worthy and able citi
zens and citizenesscs out of jobs these
days, when we consider the efficiency
OF the folk who administer to our de-
mands on Mr.. Bells system.
Mr.. J. Throckmorton Cush say. this
unemployment situation is all newspa-
per talk, anyway. People, he insists,
have forgotten the good old American
virtue of hard work. He has an ex-
cellent position in his Office paying $50
a week from which five men have re
signed in the last six months. Mr.. Cusl
adds that OF course you can't be too
hard on the newspapers. They have
to print something to ill up space
1892 TERSION
It's the most distressfW cou1,try, as
heretofore qcas said
For Ncy're shooting cops and soldiers
for the acearit' Of the red.
Senator Lusk, the Rev. O. K. Miller,
Of the State Civic League, says, has
come to grief through the efforts Of
"the underworld elements of the state"
1t was our impression that his plight
was caused by the underwriting elc-
mcnts Of the Police Department..
Each Day We Learn Something
Dear sir: AS I am fond of passing
on information, permit mo to tell you
that the international News film says
that Ostia is 10000 years old aud
Pathc News No. I, Of the 1922 issue.
states that the zR-2 came to grief at
the start Of tho transcontincntal fight
to America.
EUGENE S1SsINGLY.
Alas, ard three or four dlncks,
Each nc,u yccr brings is income tar.
OF course all tho stanch patriots
who are wailing disconsolatcly for A
Navy Second to None will register
patriotic cXaltaton as they make out
their checks to tho Collector Of In
tcrnal Revenue.
The disarmament conference seems
to have fixed the number of airplanc-
carrying vessels simply enough. But
it appears to be having considerable
difficulty in enforcing birth control on
the submarine mother ships.
THE TARDY EULOG1ST
He said that he had spent a number Of
years mapping the course OF the moon
and had complied table OF the moons obit.
Tie Tribune.
The North Pole, we have also learned
while dclving into newspaper sstron-
omy, is moving south, but Well bet
three to one that the price OF ice re-
mains stable.
At 1901 Sunday morning VIC bade
farewell to Rum, Profanity and Hard
Work for the first eight months, any
how, Of 1929.
1t is now $40 Monday afternoon and
we have learned that Mr.. Hays is civ
ing all his help day off. Bang bang
have gone two Of the resolutions, and
AS soon as we can find a bootlegger
that hasn't been served with an injunc-
tion there will be a third and much
heavier concussion.
Still, there is some diluted cheer re-
naming in the new year. By Septem-
Der l, they have sworn to US on all the
sacred lares of this journal, the new
boss Of The Tower will have arrived.
Our incumbency is limited only to
two hundred and seven working days.
So, at present, its second down, two
hundred and five to 20.
F. r. V.