The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1922-06-01


My upper lip is naked now.
A YOUNG lady walking across a railroad
trestle in Spokane was bumped into the river
cued unhurt For some reason this inciden
brings to mind the ancient conundrum concern
ing the baby and the engine.
LIES LITTLE DISAPPONTMENTS.
Behind me a hail.
A friendly "Halloo!"
Turning. l see a smiling individual advancing
Hist" says Ego, 'yonder comes the
Newly Appointed Commander
OF your renowned Society"
He approaches.
Pleasurable thrills
Chase themselves over my system.
He must" whispers Ego, have heard of your
ability,
And intends to give it fitting recognition.
Some work of Importance he has picked out for
you
Under his leadership"
My chest swells with pride and 1 feel
An involuntary Juggling of my thumbs
Toward the region of the armholes
OF my vest -.
How dye do! believe
You are Mr.. B. and worked under our last
Commander -
Humbly l acknowledge my Identity
Yes? Well, we are taking up collection
! To present him with gift
AS fitting tribute to his splendid service
! oh, ah, yes! Thank you!
Good-day!"
Vanish \: A c. with Ego tagging wistfully
At his heels. TIM.
MISS JANE SINNER Finishes Boston
School. "-Davenport Times.
With name like that she must have
wrecked it.
ONE of our occasional assistants reports
the following incident in Moline Memorial
Day:
gentleman who obviously had been bath
ing in the glow of the pale moonshine was
braced against a brick wall holding cultured
converse with a brother who just obviously
had been trying to shake hands with the south
end of white mule headed north. AS our
o. a passed he heard this, from the first gentle
man:
Jaw. wottavi gotta be thankful f'r t'day?
as va. Amt none O. my friens r reltives
out there in tina cemetry. l amt got nobody
t mourn overt"
Why Not Set Fire TO the Wreckage and Let 1t
Go at That?
[Clipped by Uncle John from the Walton (Ga)
News.1
Tragedy Recipe-Take one reckless,
natural-born fool Two or three big
drinks of bad liquor. fast, high-pow-
cred motor car. Soak the fool we'll in
the liquor, place in the car and let him
60 After due time remove from wreck
age, place in black, satin-lined box and
garnish wi h flowers.
THE lady who is alleged to have registered
indignation at the thought of dropping her
serious poem in this Fount of Facetiae advises
us that the poem is not yet finished but that
it will be sent to US when completed We await
its arrival with what patience we can muster
FOR JUDY.
Do you know, Judy,
l can sympathize?
When my dog a puppy
He was a mental
Captain Kidd
Always hunting for
Buried treasure.
and the time
He proudly dragged a soied shirt
Into the best room
In the presence
OF company.
He too,
Dug up things
Which long interment !
Had not improved
But the worst
Was his fondness for live /
Grass snakes,
Which have never
Learned to love -.
And that was after
had taught him to
FETCH EVERYTHING TO ME-
P, s: Don't give him up, Jude. he'll do
more for you than your landlord will ou6
won't do you for much LIE MOO
FOR downright industry LIE Moo easiIv
takes first place among our contribs His re-
cent flock of contributions exceeded our sunoIv
oI space Perhaps we should apologize to judy
Tor non-dellvery of the foregoing We've had
It on hand a week -S1
ERIC wAHLsTRoM who poetizes on "Da-
pair IN the Augustana Observer concludes
thus:
And every bellstroke aching
Draws tighter the prison chord
TIL heaven and hell are quaking
In shivering, wild discord
The disturbance in heaven and hell nrob
Idly was caused by the poets who Objected to
ne rlmlns OF chord" with "discord" Almost
my well regulated poet would raise a little
III about it ''ie
conFF'TER shivering all day yesterday we are
barnneed there's conspiracy between the coal !