The New York herald., 1922-10-22
TEASED IN KELLY'S COMEDY


Mrs. P.--Go on with your lines. Paula.
Mrs. Ritter--Well. is he dead. Betty?
Mrs. p. Gas the curtain commences to
descend)-Never mind. darling. go on
with your lines; the play is the thing.
Now. children. we viii so right on from
where mr.. Ritter fell downstairs.
which is itself called '"The Torch
Bearers" is presented, with dire results.
Properties get lost or are used improp-
! erly. Some OF the cast lose their lines
and one of them loses half his false mus
tache. Another faints as he leaves the
| stage. and practically all the players
trip over the doorslll as they enter or
exit. After the performance the curtain
gets stuck as Mrs. Pampinelli starts to
take bow for no particular reason.
| Confusion is worse confounded. but they
all have a grand time and arc perfectly
| convinced they covered themselves with
glory. 1t is, In short the typical ANA
teur performance. Ritter. having re-
covered from his previous attack. steals
| Off to the performance at tho risk OF
losing consciousness again. He man
| ages, however, to make his way home
| surreptitiously after the performance,
and the third act opens with him talking
to Jenny. the servant.
| Jenny-Oh. Mr.. Ritter: (sho moves
toward the door at the back). didn't
hear you como IN, sir! Is tho show
over?
Ritter fstopping in the center door,
It's all over town by this time.
Jenny (standing at the left Of the
door)-Mrs. Ritter just telephoned a
Ritter-Is she alive?
Jenny--Alive. Mr.. Rita?
Ritter (moying forward toward the
table)-Because If she Is she's got q
charmed life (He commences to re-
move his gloves). The Seamen's Insti-
tute. God help them on a night like
this
Jenny--She was anxious to know Il
you were still unconscious.
Ritter-If she telephones again tell
her yes. (Fe thrusts his gloves into his
overcoat pockets and starts to remove
his overcoat).
Jenny (helping him with his coat)--
Amt you feelin' well again. Mr.. Rita?
Ritter-No, Jenny I'm not.
Jenny--Well, I'm sure I'm sorry, sir
Ritter---And after that exhibition to-
night, l don't think ! ever shall feel
| exactly well again.
Jenny-Was 1t "a SAD play?
Ritter--The 'saddest thing I've ever
seen in my life.
JENNY alus cry when a show is sad
R!tter-That SO?
Jenny--Yes. sir. And a funny thing
about me Is, the sadder it is the moro
cry.
Ritter--You'd have had a big night
IL you'd been with nae. You'd better
leave those right here. Jenny, may
leave town again Tonight.
Jenny--Ili put then, right here. (She
lays them across the seat at the back.
to the right of the center door) Did
they clap much when Mrs. Rita I'm
ished?
JENNY came out, right after she came
out.
Jenny tToward the back at the ioft)
I'm dyin' till she gets home, to hear
how she felt.
Ritter tTaking cigar from his case)
Il don't imagine she'll come home
right away. (Hef crosses to the little
smoking table at the left, and Jenny
looking at him with puzzled express
sion. moves toward the right.) For II
she's not arrested before morning on
charge Of inciting to riot. I'll get the
surprise OF my life. (Thc telephone bell
Jenny--Yes, sir. (She goes out Into
the hallway to the telephone.)
Ritter-Anybodv for me. I've gono
into permanent retirement. -.
Jenny AT the telephone)--Yes? (He
watches her fearfully.) Mr.. Rita?
(He makes rapid movement to the
rortieres at the left and stands in sus-
pense.) Oh, Mrs. Rita!
Rittcr--Who do they want?
Jenny Into the tclephone) e)--No.
mann. she 'asn't got home yet. (To Y;it-
ter. In lower tone) Mrs. Bitter.
Ritter---Who is II. the police?
Jenny Unto tho teiephone) ALI
right, Mrs Livingston. I'll give her your
message as soon as she comes Il. Oh,
you're moro than welcome, I'm sure.
(She hangs up.)
Iatter--Mrs. Livingston?
Jenny Coming into the room again)
Yes, sir.
Ritter--What does she want?
Jenny---She says she wanted to con-
gratuiate Mrs. Ritter on her performance
tonight.
Ritter--Did she see tho show7
Jenny (Settling the magazines and
books on the table )--She didn't say, sir.
Ritter tMoving over to tho window at
the rightly She didn't see II. II any OF
those women come back here with Mrs.
Ritter. Jenny.-say that I'm not homo
yet. Do you understand?
Jenny--Yes, sir.
Ritter docking out the window,-
And that you haven't seen anything
OF me.
Jenny--Yes, sir, Mr.. Ritter, all right
Ritter--If my wife's alone, let me
know as soon as she comes in.
Jenny--Yes. sir, Will. (Telephoae
bell rings.)
Ritter CAS- Jenny goes out to answer
jt)--You haven't seen anything OF Inc,
remember.
Jenny--No. sir fInto tho telephone)
Yes?-Yes, SIR. tHc watches her fear
fulIy.) No. sir, she hasn't got home yet
tshe looks at him Suddenly
Ritter (Breathlessiy) What is It?
Jenny tInto the teiephone) NO. sir,
he hasn't got home yet, neither.
Ritter (Apprehensivoiy) ---Do they
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