The Washington times., 1922-12-24
Grandpap
and the +
Yuletide !
~ Damon Runyon.

always get to thinking
now much my Grandpap loves
this season of the year.
He 10 kindly old papy guy.
and he likes to see everybody
happy during the merry Yuletide.
as my Aunt Margaret calls il.
although my Grandpap says It
u q hundred-to-one shot che does
not know what Yuletide means.
and IL only chucking q swell
when she calls It such. >
Anyway a couple of weeks be-
fore Christmas my Grandpap Is
always buster than a bird dog.
because In those days, Christmas
time was always fairly heavy
drinking time back in my old
home town. and my Grandpap
naturally has to help out in the
I drinking, as do all good citizens.
30 that the bartenders and saloon.
keepers will have an extra merry
Christmas.
In fact. next to Fourth Of July
week, Decoration Day. and just
before Thanksgiving. Christmas
is one Of our very busiest drink
Ing seasons. In fact some people
claim It is the heaviest. although
they have no statistics to prove
1t. as Marshall Dillon and the
other authorities who might have
these statistics are busy them
selves helping out In the drink.
ing and have no time for figures.
Well. anyway. besides assisting
n the drinking. my Grandpap
has to do other shopping. because
be has many presents to buy for
his family and others. including
old Mrs. Peabody the widow
woman who lives UP the Arkan-
NV river here q piece.
OF course, nobody IL supposed
b know my Grandpap is buying
any presents for Mrs. Peabody.
~ 1t II q dead secret. but every
body In town knows 1t. because
this IL after one Of Grandmaws
die. and Grandpap is out to make
Mrs. Peabody another one of my
orandmaws.
My Aunt Margaret and every
body in our family is dead
against the proposition. saying II
b q lot of foolishness for an
old pappy guy like my Grandpap
10 be running around with such
notions in his head. but. nobody
ever yet figures way to keep
my Grandpap from getting mar
ried up from time to time. not
even himself. =
Well. anyway. this business
with Mrs. Peabody is going on
for some years, and she IL not q
bad looking old dame. at that.
and has plenty Of dough. 70
DO not see that my Grandpap 10
such q chump as the women
folks let on. especially as we can
always use dough around our
Joint.
But It seems that my Grandpap
has one objection to Mrs. Pea
body. and this is a big dog she
has around her place, which Is
always taking a snatch at my
0randpap's leg. Naturally my
Grandpap il not as spry as he
used to be. and he does not care
for this snatching proposition q
little bit,
So he IL always figuring to get
rid Of his dog, but Of course he
does not let Mrs. Peabody know
II, because 1t 10 no cinch she does
not think more Of the dog than
she does OF my Grandpap.
Anyway. Christmas is here. and
my Grandpap hauls off and buys
Mrs. Peabody q nice present for
herself in Biggs' department store.
what my Grandpap buys her IL q
swell silk muffler, which she can
wear around her neck when she
goes out. which Is very seldom.
Then while he is out shopping,
my Grandpap thinks about Mrs.
Peabody's dog. and 80 he buys
the dog . present. too. He buys
the dog . nice pound Of meat,
which II certainly very thought
full for my Grandpap, because 1t
n as good meat ~ you can find
in my old home town. Then my
Grandpap fixes the meat up nice
with some rough on rats. because
his idea 10 to knock the dog off
% II will not snatch him any
more,
Well. my Grandpap puts the
nuffler in one pocket, and the
package of meat in the other, and
then he does a little more shop
ping around the saloons, WISH
ing one and all many happy re-
turns Of the day.
Finally he goes out to Mrs. Pea.
body,s house to leave his presents,
but by this time he forgets which
uackaee n which, 20 he tosses the