The New York herald., 1922-11-12

| CllUlCS, &C.
Our mothers were totally incapable of
impersonal criticism; they view with hor-
ror the present-day mothers who calmly
state that one of their children is selfish,
another plain. They considered it one of
the most important duties of the parent to
refuse to admit fault in their child. and
they would listen to no criticism from
friends or relations.
Affection and displeasure were much
less restrained than they are to-
day Children were punished their
faults were condoned chiefly according to
the mothers mood. Spoiling and punish
ment were much more pronounced and
carried out with little or no justice An ex-
ample of this was given me by a man. the
other day. who remembers a particular
whipping he received from his mother
| when nine years of age because he inno-
Gently repeated at luncheon party re-
mark his mother had made in his presence
about woman friend. This caused her
considerable embarrassment, though the
! child was unaware of the crime he was
committing. The whipping must have been
unduly violent to be remembered after
! thirty years, iut lllJuSlINC VI SiiO PNiSN
ment is obvious to the modern mother.
The above illustrates how children were
punished to afford vent for the Irritation
/ of their parents, rather than to show them
/ the wrong they had done. So much for
punishment but quite as many children
were unduly spoiled were unduly pun
| ished. Thus, a girl l know has surprised
her parents considerably when. after life
of spelling her father ordered her to break
off her engagement. She refused and ran
away with the man. The parents cannot
grasp that her excessively indulgent
bringing-up gave her lessons in insubor-
dination.
Parents. Children and "Scenes."
Another bad influence on children was
the way in which parents unhesitatingly
created a scene in the presence of their
children and even demarded that the chill
dren should take sides. I remember a case
of child being awakened at night by an
,irate mother. to choose between living with
her or with her father The result
hysterical terror for the child, so the. par
ents forgot their disagreement in their
efforts to console their frightened Off
spring. To-day scenes of this description
are avoided with the utmost care. Indeed.
where incompatibility exists between the
parents temperaments the modern child
for many years often hears nothing of it.
To-day children are carefully watched
and developed on their cwn lines of indi-
viduaity, but the mothers of yesterday
tended to bring up their children accord
ing to their own desires and plans No
discrimination was employed as to their
talents and temperament. Music and
painting were forced upon them irrespec-
tive of inclination. Daughters were trained
exclusively in accomplishments, not
careers: a great deal of the friction of the
last ten years has arisen through girls
demanding to be trained in careers and
refusing to be content with accomplish
ments.
Children were discussed much too
openly in their presence and suffered
greatly from the parents pride in display
ing their attainments To-day we tend 10
play with our children more and to dis
play them less. Visitors are generally
taken to the nursery to watch the children
at play; the unhappy victims are no
longer marshaled to the drawing room to
perform their parlor tricks; we exhibit
them they are, for better or worse
Curiosity as to the facts of life was
vigorously suppressed; the result upon the
childish mind was to create morbid curl
osity. To-day the modern parent does