Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1922-04-26
MOONSHINE INDEED
WORKS WONDERS
Clarifies the Vision and Makes the
Soul Soar

Now, when you read this don't get
to thinking of Cashton, Westby or
Rocky Run. 1t happened at Candy,
Mimi, and was overheard and vouch-
ed for by John Evanson and sent to
the Galesville Republican by G.. Holm
berg. The conversation is between a
bank collector and farmer of Candy:
Good morning, Ole; your note has
been placed in my hands for collec-
ton"
We'll, ay tank you ban got your
hands full den"
"Now, Ole, this account has been
running for years"
SAY should worry. If it can't run
any longer let it walk.
81 called to have it settled"
81 am Wiling to call it settled"
where's the bull we have the mort
gage on?"
Bull got sick and vent capute."
Now, Ole, we are in need of money
"Ay vas too. OATS vot made the
bull sick"
Have you sold the hide ?"
30 yoyl Ay traded it for a yug of
macaroni alcohol. Come with me to
the house and ay give you vun drink
and you see twenty bulls"
NO IooIlng, Olet we expect you 70
pay this note"
"Dat's more den ay expect"
Understand, you must pay the note
in full"
"Ay will be full alright ven ay pay
it."
"And don't forget interest"
Maybe you got more interest in 1t
den ay have"
cole, am going to bring the sher-
iff to serve papers on you"
read but dot dam Meenesota Issues.
If you tink of it, bring along a box Of
snoose. "-Cashton Record.
Knute-"0la, w ban Walking better
today"
Ola-"Vel it ban lax dis, Pete tai
me to go to dat KirodoctOr and Ay
tank he yump on my back and Ay yell,
Egg vii like slos'. But after dat my
back feel awful good"
Tragedy Recipe
Take one reckless, natural born fool.
Two or three big drinks of bad Ii
quor.
A fast, high powered motor car.
Soak the fool in the liquor, place in
the car and let him go. After due
time, remove from wreckage, place in
black, satin-lined box and garnish with
flowers.-Walton (Ga.) News.
K X X n
You fond wives who allude to your
husbands as "model" men, should dis
continue the practice. Firstly, there
haint no such animal; and secondly,
the dictionary defines the term as "a
e H. ,raoI tkfner "
n n r.
Introducing Gentle Spring
The gentle spring will soon be with us
| There is evidence galore.
| 'Tis now kites and tops and marbles
| Skates and sleds no more.
Wild geese are flying northward
| The base ball seasons near
| But an erstwhile sign is missing
| 'Tis one that read "Bock Beer"
X n X
Topeka Kansas merchants announce
"Ford Day" when all Ford cars will
be invited to make themselves at home
on the streets. L. L. Baptie says he
supposed that was what Fords did
every day.
Profitable Lifts
81 notice you frequently pick up
people and take them TO town in your
car"
eyes" said the enterprising citizen
"I've sold quite a number of life in
surance policies in that way. A man
can't very well refuse to hear what
you have to say when he's getting a
free ride.
True to Type
"Say, this blasted ear you stuck me
with should think was meant to stall,
Judging by the way it acts"
"Well, what are you kicking about ?
Didn't you buy it on the installment
plant"
Drouth Broken
Two men were on journey on hot
summer day. "Have you anything
with you, Matthias?" asked one.
ayes, a bottle of wine. What have
you, Moses ?"
'Dried tongue"
"Goodl Well divide our provisions"
Matthias produced his wine and it
was divided. Then he asked his fell
low traveller to bring out his provis-
ions.
az" said Moses.
"Why, yes, the dry tongue you said
you had"
81 haven't got one now" was the
cool reply.
y n -
His Signature