davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-18
My Favorite Stories
BY IRWIN S. COBB
TWO CONUNDRUMS AND A
TRAGEDY
/ do not know why it is that nea

do not know why it is that near
ly all the stories having to do with
frugality should be aimed at the
Scot. Personally, it has always
seemed to me that the Scotch were
not a stingy race, but rather that
they merely had elevated canniness
in business dealings to the nth de-
gree. Your average Scotchman does
not particularly wish to hoard his
money; he merely desires that when
he spends it he shall obtain a
proper return. But if one may
judge by the everbearing yield of
Scotch stories-or rather stories
aimed at the Scotch-the world at
large holds to a different view.
You know, of course, the ancient
conundrum which was printed years
ago in London Punch. AS / recall
it, this conundrum ran as follows:
Glow, at the conclusion of "a rail-
road journey, can you definitely fix
the nationality of an English pas
senger, an Irish passenger and a
Scotch passenger"
The answer was:
1.-THE Englishman hurries to the
lunch stand the Irishman hastens to
the bar, the Scotchman goes back
through the train to see if anybody
left anything"
Then, here just the other day .
friend fired this one at me:
"Why," he asked, "have the
Scotch sense of humor?"
"All right" l said, "I'll bite; tell
me, Mr.. Bones, why have the Scotch
a sense Of humor?"
Because" he said, ''it's a gift. "
A still later addition to the crop
has just reached me. 1t is stated
that an Englishman, standing treat
to a Scotchman at pub recon-
mended that his guest try some very
fine brandy which the establishment
had in stock at three shillings a
drink. With glistening eyes the
Scotchman agreed. He waited until
the barmaid had poured out the
brandy and then with sudden leap
he pounced upon the glass, seizing
it in both hands as in wise.
why do you do that, old dear?"
asked the astonlshed host.
Because" said the Scotchman,
when was a vera young man,
back in Edinburg in the year 1869,
| saw One Of them spilled"
.(Copyrizht 1892. by The McNausht
IN,
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-18
The Peoples Forum
Checking Up the Speeders
o the Editor of The Age-Herald:

To the Editor of The Age-Herald:
/ note by the mornings paper your re-
porter has been checking up the cars with
the last years licenses II certain parts of the
city. Would you mind having him check
these from another viewpoint and give us the
result of your investigation?
The driver with the last years license, or
no license, is the boy who takes most of the
chances with the traffic laws. That's the
writer's observation and while you are work
ing on these lines, and if you care to follow
the matter further, have your reporter ride
around the busiest part of town for an hour
or so and check them. The speeder, the road
hog, the corner cutter, the driver who does
not stop when the street car is unloading,
l think you will find, in nine cases out of ten,
are driving cars with old licenses.
K. NJ MORRISON.
Birmingham, Ala, November is, 1922.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-18
A Timely Editorial
Disunion in GERMANY
From the Washington Post.

From the Washington Post.
For some time past the strained
conditions of Germany's exterior re-
lations have had the effect of divert
ing public attention abroad from the
domestic crisis which threatens the
authority of the central govern
ment, the government of the Reich
in contradistinction to the govern
ments of the various states and
provinces.
The autonomous governmental
powers possessed by the various
kingdoms, grand duchies and prin-
cipalities before the war were very
large. But as the outward express
sion of these powers was made in
the federal council of the empire,
the members of which were the d.
rect and personal representatives of
the various German rulers. it was al
ways possible for the Kaiser and
the various sovereighs to reach pri-
vately such agreements as rendered
any clash in the public sittings of
lflt 1cdcI ulilCtCSoai y
But today the personal element of
the various rulers has been re-
moved. Private arrangements be-
tween the heads of states and the
head of the federal government in
Berlin are no longer possible or de-
sirable. The result is that the dis
putes and differences of opinion
which were formerly settled in pri-
vate between the rulers are now
carried into the public sittings of the
federal council. As consequence
the public interest in state rights"
is opposed to those of the central
government has grown rapidly and
has now reached fever heat.
Up to the present Bavaria has
championed the Estate rights" and
on many points has practically de-
fled the Reich. Other southern Ger
man states which always disliked
Prussia have shown a tendency TO
group themselves around Bavaria.
The cleavage line between north and
south has become daily more
marked. So prominent, indeed, has
the leadership of Bavaria become
that some of the other states which
at first unquestionably followed her
lead today show signs of hesita-
ton.
The former kingdom of Wurtem-
berg is beginning to exhibit signs
of uneasiness. 1t has no desire
merely to exchange the predomina-
tion of Berlin for the Proclamation
of Munich. This feeling is voiced
by the Neues Tageblatt, one of the
leading journals of Stuttgart, wnen
it says: at is time for the govern
ments of Germany, particularly that
of Wurttemberg, to begin to take
an interest in these matters. II
Bavaria really aims to take upon
itself the right to speak in the name
of allethe states of south Germany,
this pretension of hers must be
curbed. Never will we accept \
situation by which Munich becomes
factor of dominance"
Needless to say this dispute be-
tween the centraA government IN
Berlin. regime abhorred by the
"junkers" and reactionaries, has
been sgrist to the monarchist MILL
The latter are leaving no stone I'M
turned to deepen the breach be-
tween the states and the Reich. As
their attempts at physical violence
have failed, they are now "boring
from Within" and this conflict of
authorities gives them an admirable
opportunity to put these tactics in
practice.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-18
ONE LAW FOR. ALL

From the Montgomery Advertiser.
A considerable group of women
have set their heads on uniform
divorce law. A constitutional
amendment would be necessary be-
fore Congress would have the au-
thority to say what should be the
conditions governing marriage and
divorce In Alabama. What reason
is there to suppose that Congress
would take more enlightened view
Of the subject than Alabama, or
Michigan, or California, or Massa-
chusetts? Congress could only
make one law for every state. Its
law might be better than the law in
one state and worse than the law In
another state.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-18
TO DEVELOP AMERICAN YOUTH

!; One Of the lessons taught by the World
war is the necessity of paying more atten-
13on to the mental and physical development
tf American youth. "a study of draft STATS
tcs shows that we have woefully neglected
n duty that every nation which hopes to sur
1--WE must sedulously perform, and that is
building up strong, intelligent citizenship,
- defend the country in war and do skilled
york during peace.
n A movement has been started, under the
direction Of the war department, which is
Resigned to create better citizenship in
america with the aid of schools and colleges.
Il y an undertaking of great Importance
y the nations future, since this country's
prosperity and greatness will depend to a
1nxGo extent on the systematic training of
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-18
COTTON'S BETTER SITUATION

In addition to stablizing the cotton market
and securing higher prices for the STAPLE
than were possible under less business-like
marketing methods, the cooperative market
ing system has served to discover larger
proportion Of high-grade cotton than would
otherwise have been found. The result is
the price for the higher grades that they
are entitled to. OF the total number of bales
graded by the Alabama Cooperative Market
ing association, one-third have proven strict
middling and four-fifths have graded mid
ding or better. The establishment of this
larger proportion Of high-grade cotton is
due to the expert sampling by officers of the
association. There is only one sampling, and
II follows that the farmer is not paying the
heavy toll Of the past, exacted by many and
liberal appropriations from the total weight
Of his bale.
The benefits Of cooperative and expert
handling and marketing are three-stabiliz-
ing Of the market, the bringing out of more
high-grade cotton, incident to which is the
saving of the quondam sample spoilage,
md the obtaining of higher current mar
let value for cotton through the pooling sys-
tenn, which eliminates tolls without increas-
ing the price of cotton textiles. There does
not seem to be disapproval of cooperative
marketing in any quarter. Formal indorse-
ment of the method by the spinners is ac-
knowledgement that they as well as the pro-
ducers, are beneficiaries Of sterilization.
Al branches of this very important
Industry are the better off for its having
xotten away from the manipulation of specu-
btors and the ruinous consequences of I'M
methodical marketing
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-18
ANOTHER TURKISH ATROCITY

On his way to the scaffold, Ali Renal
Bey, editor of an anti-nationalist news
paper in Constantinople, was beaten to
death by a mob of Infatuated Turkish
women at Ismid His body was afterward
dragged through the streets by mob and
exposed to public gaze for several hours on
the gibbet where he was to have been exc
cuted This is the way the Turks answered
the protest of the allied governments who
tried to save the editors life. Their ap-
peals in his behalf were ignored, and the
tension between the Turkish nationalist
and the allies has been heightened by this
latest exhibition of Turkish brutality.
Ali Kemal Bey was an intelligent and
enlightened Turk, who was highly respected
in Constantinoplea His shameful death is
not only an affront to the allied govern
ments who sought to protect him, but it is
another illustration Of the bloody minded
intolerance which is a Turkish characteristic.
There is no such thing as freedom of the
press or freedom of speech among the
nationalist. The Staying of this editor,
who was not traitor, as we understand
that term, is a bad omen. 1t may well
cause resentment and further uneasiness in
Constantinople.
1t is all too evident that the situation in
the Near East is SO critical that the bcllig-
erent Turks may get out Of hand at any
moment. They have repeatedly shown
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-18
More Spankings Needed

From the Eufaula Citizen.
Parents are helping to spoil the
coming generation by being too lib
eral with their money and too stingv
with their spankings. The fact be-
ing it is difficult to keep father
and children together long enough
for spankings to be administered.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-18

contempt for the allies There have been
assassinations and many violations of the
armistice terms, although the allies have
made concessions to prevent an open rup-
ture. This condition Of affairs cannot be
permitted to continue much longer. 1t was
unfortunate that the Mudania conference
was postponed. The cancer in the Near
East requires instant and drastic treat
ment.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-18
A GENTLE HINT

Don't be alarmed" said the genial foot
pad. "I'm not going to say, "Your money or
your life
'I'm glad to hear that" said the trembling
pedestrian.
at won't be necessary in your case. l can
see you're sensible sort of cove and you've
already made up your mind about which
you want to keep
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-18
= 1t Work. Both WAYS

''There is one tactful quality that
few merchants possess" said David
T. Feidelson of the Empire Leather
company. "And that is the ability to
leave travelling salesman in a good
humor without buying anything
from him. That is really quite an
important accomplishment, however,
and one that will bear cultivation
on the part of the merchants"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-18
Hopeful About Mr.. Ford
m the Florence Tines. :.

From the Florence Times.
The news from Washington as
brought here by reliable gentlemen
is that the prominent men working
for the Ford offer for Muscle Shoals
works are very hopeful of favorable
results. They are more sanguine of
success than they ever have been,
and are confident that the Ford Of
fer will win. The issue is whether
Mr.. Ford or the government shall
take charge, and the latter PROPOSE
ton will have but comparatively few
advocates. It is believed that the
late elections have strengthened the
Ford position.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-18
LOSS AT THE sPIGor
Frnm the Waldorf Window

To show what the little things
mean in chain of restaurants, COT
fee loss may be cited. Two quarts a
day makes 100 quarts year In "a
stores this would be $500 quartz
or 343, 100 cups. At cents cup
the loss totals $17,155. retail value,
simply because not enough attention
is given to small quantities Of cof-
fee wasted.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-18
FORESIGHT

From the Parakeat.
Ike: ibid you get damages from
the railroad for the wreck you were
in?"
Sol: .Sure, / got $4,000 for my
self and $4,000 for Sarah. e
'Tke: But your wife wasn't
Sol: mo, but in the wreck had
presence q mind enough 70 kick
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-18
Keeping Quiet

Well have to give former King Constan-
tine credit for one thing. Since he got out
he hasn't been cluttering up the newspapers
with interviews. PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-18
NO JONAH

From the Harrison (Ark.) Times.
Whale milk has been suggested as sub
stitute for the tactical fluid Of the family
COW, but derned if we are going to get up
in the cold winter mornings and swim out 20
or 80 miles in an ocean full Of water and
milk whale. We're no Jonah.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-18
NEAR EAST NOMENCLATURE

From the Arkansas Gazette.
After reading the Near East news
our subscriber at Noah's, Ark, says
that for the life of him he can't un-
derstand why all the offices in Tur-
key, civil and military, are held by
sons Of old Mrs. Pasha.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-18
BEING STRONGER

"Are you in favor of pipes for women?'s
"No," said Mr.. Grumpson. II guess they'd
better stick to cigarettes. The clash between
the odor of well seasoned pipe and the
scented toilet preparations women use would
be terrific, and I'm afraid the pipe smell
would win"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-18
Getting |. Back

From the Prattville Progress.
The south owed their Yankee
friends so much money during the
past two years that even they have
become interested in the price of
cotton and are helping to boost IT.
They realize that is about the only
way they can get back this money.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-18
Where Flivvers Are Plentiful

From the Centreville Press.
If one-third of the money now
tied up in pleasure automobiles in
this section was invested in a money
making, enterprise, old age would
never find them in want.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-18
Alabama Press
No Votes for Andy

From the Guntersyille Democrat.
Not vote was cast for Andrsw
Gump in this county.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-18
Sighting tho Church

From the Ozark Southern Star.
Funny how a man will economic
by cutting his church subscription
instead of his gasoline bill.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-18

By the time huge dirigibles begin to carry
flock of airplanes around on their roofs
the human race may have sense enough to
quit fighting.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-18
Both Ears in Use

'T thought saw you having an argument
with traffic policeman
"You are mistaken" replied Mr.. Dub
waite.
"But-"
'You saw me giving close attention to
lecture. didn't know, until that policeman
stopped me and began to make a few re-
marks appropriate to the occasion, that I was
such a good listener
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-18
Democracy in Chiffon

From the Chiffon County News.
The democrats in Chiffon county
have made wonderful strides in the
last two years. They cut a repub-
lican majority of about 1850 down
to the vanishing point. Two more
years and the work will be complet-
ed and the republican. county ma
chine will go into the scrap heap.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-18

Another woman has been acquitted Of
murder while cheers rang through the court
room. The female of the species gets off
more lightly than the male.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-18

Some of the statesmen who play golf with
President Harding are now in position to
play every day without neglecting their
duties in the Senate.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-18

Lenine's health is improved, but the Sultan
is thought to be no better.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-18

rain is dead. Forty years ago pugiism didn't
have a motion-picture complex.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-18
That Sense of Being Driven

1.-THE woman behind Kemal" is an interest
ing personality. There is a woman behind
most men, but sometimes she's too close DC.
hind for comfort.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-18
Adrift With the Times
Cridiron Casualties

Hark, Hark, the dogs do bark,
The college boys have come to town;
And come who play this fateful day
Will 60 to bed with battered crown.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-18

The Sherlock Holmes cap" promises to
become popular headgear for men. 1t should
be worn, we presume, with pipe and a look
of intense concentration.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-18

Harding pig for his Thanksgiving dinner.
1t probably wasn't "razorback"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-18

The feminine ear may safely reappear, ac-
cording to fashions decree.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-18

At any rate, Senator Lodge still has his
blue blood.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-18
Taking no Chances

Didn't you enjoy that last piece?"
Certainly replied the cautious patron Of
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-18

"Why didn't you applaud"
81 didn't know whether the archestra was
just hesitating or had decided to quit.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1922-11-18
Jefferson Davis Cabinet

Birmingham, Ala, November Is, 1922
The herald. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1905-1953, 1922-03-30
CHARTER OF
CHAS. L. ARMSTRONG OF NEW
ORLEANS INC.

State of Louisiana, Parish OF Orleans.
Before me, PIERRE ID. OLIVIER, n
Notary Public, duly commissioned and
qualified In and for the Parish of Or
leans, State of Louisiana, personally
came and appeared on this 22nd day Of
March, 1922, the persons whose names
are hereunto affixed, who in my presence
and in the presence of Sumter d. Marks.
Jr., and J. Oswald Walker, competent
witnesses. residing in this parish de-
clared that, availing themselves Of the
privilege offered by the laws of the State
of Louisiana, and particularly by the
terms Of Act No. 287 Of the General As
year 1914, they do hereby associate them
selves as corporation under the follow
ing articles. to-wit:
ARTICLE l. The name Of this cor
poration shall be CHAS. E. ARMSTRONG
OF NEW ORLEANS, INC, and its dura-
ton shall be for a term Of ninety nine
years.
ARTICLE II. The objects and pur.
poses for which this corporation is to be
formed are hereby declared to be: To
do general commission merchants
selling agents and brokerage business
to buy, hold, own, manufacture. produce
sell and otherwise dispose Of. export
import. exchange, deal in and deal with
and trade in and trade with in foreign
or domestic commerce, either as princi'
pal. agent or broker. and upon commits
sion or otherwise. all kinds Of personal
property whatsoever without limit as Il
amount; to buy, sell, hold, own. man
ufacture. produce. sell and otherwise dis
pose of, export. import, exchange, dea
in and deal with, and trade In and trade
with In foreign or domestic commerce
either as principal. agent or broker, and
upon commission or otherwise. rice
The herald. [volume] (New Orleans, La.) 1905-1953, 1922-03-30
CHARTER.

hrsinoss of the corporation. fix their
and terms of service. ana
fix and determine the salaries OF the sew
eral officers herein provided for.
Special meetings Of the Board or Direc-
tors shall be held whenever called Dy
~ diraction Of the President or at the
reouest of any one of the directors Tor
the time being in office. and only su'I
business NAV be transacted AT speCidI
meeting as is Specihed IN the hOti,
thereof The Secretary shall give NOTICE
IA each director Of each special meeting
AT least one day before the meeting u!
mail telegraph or telephone
Such meetings of the Board of Direc-
tors NAV be held outside this state OF
within this state elsewhere than the cor
poratiOns dOmicile.
ARTICLE vi. This charter may De
changed. modified or amended. or inns
corporation may be dissolved at gen
eral meeting of the stockholders Son
vanad for the purpose according to law
IL at any time this corporation should ia
according to law, desire to dissolve, Hs
affairs shall be liquidated by three com
missioners selected from the stockholder'
at n meeting called for that purpose salo
commissioners to remain III oihce -
the affairs of the corporation nave oee
fully liquidated. In case OF me uen.,
of one or more of said commissioner
tho survivor or survivors shall continue
| to act. ,,
ARTICLE VII. The names and post
office addresses of the subscribers OF TN
| articles of incorporation and statemen
| Of the number of shares of stock whicl
| zach agrees to take in the corporation
are as follows: Noel Armstrong, =
Whitehall Street. New York, n. 4,
shares: C.. Vincent Armstrong, A White
hall Street, New York. \. Y, IL SHARES
John ID. Russ. Orme Building, Ne" UT
leans, La, l share.
In witness whereof. the said appearer
and the said witnesses have hereuht
affixed their signatures with me, Tn
said Notary. on this 22nd day OF Marcr
| 1922 at my office in the City OF Ne'
orleans. State of Louisiana.
The original is signed: Noel Arm
strong, ~ shares, per Esmond Phelp'
| Agent: C.. Vincent Armstrong, II shares
per Charles +. Dunbar, Jr., Agent: Jon
u. Russ, / share.
SUMTER d. MARKS, JR..
J.. o. WALKER.
PIERRE d. OLIVIER.
Notary Public.
certify the above and FOREGOING
he true and correct copy OF the orii
inal Act Of Incorporation Of CHAS.
ARMSTRONG OF NEW ORLEANS. I'M
on file and of record In my ONCE:
PIERRE ID. OLIVIER.
. Notary Public.
Mch. 30-May4