davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-12-05
The Art of
Writing
BY Les COnklin

IN HE most important thing
to remember about writing
- q letter is to say what you
mean. When a man receives a
letter he generally has to tele-
phone to the writer and ask him
what the letter was about.
1t is necessary to say what you
mean, but very unwise not to
mean what you say. Most young
A. men who write to chorus girls
in a Joking way find out that the
real Joke Is on them when they
get sued for breach of promise.
To typewrite social letters may
. be bad form but they are much
easier to- read than q bunch Of
chicken tracks. The only way
you can read some peoples hand
writing Is to use a magnifying
glass and q detective.
When you apply for a position
. you may have to reply in your
own handwriting. 1t il wise to
get q man whom you know to be
honest to write the letter for you
because the boss may be one Of
those guys who can judge
+ mans character by his hand.
writing.
II you have to write it your
self, make it short because then
there will be less chance for You
. to give yourself away.
Simplicity is to be desired
above all things In writing
"A letter. Some guys think
that it is against the rules to
make a sentence end before they
reach the bottom Of the page.
It Is also considered bad form
to use long words and flowery
expressions. Some letters cannot
be understood without the aid of
Q dictionary and an interpreter.
In writing social letters, pur-
, pie or green stationery should
be used because it doesn't get
dirty as white paper does.
Do not worry about exact forms
d writing invitations. because
your friends won't know the diff
ference even If you do make a
mistake.
II your wife Is away on visit
and you have to write to her. it
10 not necessary to take pains
with the letter because she won't
believe what you tell her, any
way.
When writing to a friend never
mention that you have just made
a lot Of money, or he will write
back right away and ask you for
q loan.
II you are writing a letter
home, the correct form is as fol-
lows: Dear Dad-Please send
me 500 as soon as possible.
Your loving son. Polonius."
When writing to your girl, the
best thing to do is write four
pages of KS" and then sign
your name.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-12-05
REMEMBER?

When q snappy beau
Wore a cutaway coat,
With an iron hat
With a curly brim,
And a flower in a buttonhoIe,
And stand-up collar
With eloquent tie,
And handkerchief shown,
And q nugget for a watch charm.
And q gold chain
That was so heavy
He'd never come up
II he fell overheard.
And when he called
On his gal
He drove a high stopper,
With rubber tires on his buggy;
And II he didn't have them
He was piker.
And on his buggy whip
Were q million ribbons.
And he gave q kid
A dime
To hold the boss
While he went in for the gal.
And In those days
Electric doorbells
: Was Just comm In,
And parlors was only used on
Sundays. ...'h
1TlGEMBERf TIL SAY I DO.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-12-05
Inlines.O of
History
Written So a Congressnsan Con
Understand. Translatsd from
the Chinese Of Ho'ce Hee Yclis.
By Nat N. DOrfman
Eighth Infllctment.

10y 4N0Oi ANs
Eighth Infllctmcnt.
-HE French Revolution! Hor.
rors! How movie directors
and noveiists hate to think
of this bloody period-hate to
think that more new angles can't
be found to film and write about!
A haphazard count discloses that
thus far 5,432 super-producuons
have been supered about this rev.
olution, not counting those never
finished because Of lack Of CAPT.
tai, and 376.ss1 novels have been
written with this theme as the
chief inspiration.
Nobody knows just how the
French Revolution began, but
some place the blame on Napo.
leon Bonaparte. who had prom
ised to place his paternal ances-
tors on the thrones of Europe,
where they would be free from
profiteering landlords.
Others say Queen Marie An
toinette started the conflagration
when she told the peasants to
eat cake IL they couldn't get
bread.
The Queen couldn't understand
what all the shootin' was about.
became angry and then lost her
head entirely. The economic con-
dition was bad and when King
Louis XVI. in his extravaganza
bought a 100000 race horse by
the name of Spark Plug. the min
listers grew furious. First he
lost his throne. then his mansion
and finally his head. which the
peasants figured was an excellent
method of cutting down the over
head.
Napoleon next took a hold, pro-
claimed himself emperor. and
placed his brothers, uncles. nep-
hews, cousins and other automo.
mobile relatives on the thrones OF
the countries he conquered.
But Napoleon, as q poet said.
was destined to meet his Water
loo. and he did, curiously enough.
at a town by that name, which
shows the long arm Of coincidence
is forever working. He was ship
ped by parcel post to Elba, where
he died unwept. unhonored and
unsung by war profiteers. He
never lived to see the honor of
honors bestowed upon him-the
naming Of a French pastry after
him. But at that there was a re.
buke in the mixture of the cake.
IT contained mainly sour milk and
whipped cream!
With Nap out Of the way, Eu-
rope settled down for. an era of
peace which lasted quite some
time-a week or ten days. And
then came the greatest horror Of
the age that had yet descended
upon man. Somebody invented the
telephone booth!
How the civil war, was fought
in vain will be inexclusively de-
seribed in the next insertion.)
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-12-05
OF Merciful Nature.

Wealthy Citizen-A great big.
able-bodied man like you ought
to be ashamed to ask q stranger
for money.
Tramp know ought: but,
mister, I'm too kind-hearted to
knock you on the head and take
IL from you.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-12-05

Peggy-Had . wonderful time
ut ths fratsrnity dance the other
night. ,.. ~..
Poliy-so I heard. How was
the musiof
Paggy-oh. did they have
musiof--0sorss Warrington Uni
versity Ghost. ..
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-12-05
Then She Slew Him.

THERE was once q man, who
- went and stood on the, roof
Of his house and made noises to
attract attention whenever his
wife sang. He said he did It to
prove to the villagers that he
wasn't numbering her.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-12-05
Satisfaction Guaranteed.

Customer-Do you guarantee
that this hair restorer is perfectly
harmless? Suppose It viii com.
pletely remove the rest Of my
hair? 80
Clerk-Then we're going to give
you another bottle-free.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-12-05

FIapper Fairy Tales.
stag-Do you mind II have
the next dance with the lady?
Ludwig-Thsnks. thought
was going to be stuck with her
for the evening.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-12-05

An old soldier. at ono OF the
army posts was very much I'm
pressed by some Of the modern
procedures in the medical depart
ment. One day. gathering about
him q bunch Of recruits and seat.
ing himself on an upturned gal
vanised iron bucket. he expcunded
the situation ~ follows: ''Things
Ii gettin' great: nowadays when
you take on (enlist). the doctors
round you up and scratch your
arm-no more smallpox; then, they
shoot some bugs into you-no
moro typhoid fever; then they
shoot some more bugs into you
no more pneumonia. By-and.by,
they'll tattoo q pork chop and
a fried egg on your arm and
there you are--rationed for your
hitch."-Judgs ~
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-12-05
Stealing Home.

OtctIlIItB IIOxtcs
Haie-Did your wife hear you
when you sneaked in the house
hast night?
Hardy-Yes; but she thought I
was . burglar. When she woke
mp this morning she said she
would never scold me again be-
cause I had scared the burglar
away and saved her life. =
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-12-05

IkcyLYou got q nerve advertis-
Ing a fire sale. We're was the
fret
Izzy-Right here IN this store.
I fired two salesmsn last week.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1922-12-05
Famous Generals.
Pershing.
Merchandise.
Orders.
In.
Grant.
Nuisance.
Flapper Fairy Tales.

Ludwtg--Let's 30 downtown and
see . motion picture.
GsorUstte-No: lets 20 and hear
Prof. Einstein lecture on relativ-
fly. One Of my friends heard
him and she says that he's aw-
fully interesting.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1922-02-14
Sister Wins Point
Against Brother

A motion to dismiss the case
against Ralph x. Hopkins. charged
by his sister. Carrie Hopkins. with
hcinR incapable OF managing his
own finances. was denied In Judge
King Dykeman's court Tuesday.
Hopkins. resident Of Seattle for 40
years and son OF former y. s.. Mar.
shal Hopkins. In 80 years old
His sister, represented by Attorney
Fred VI. Peterson. asks that guar
dian be appointed TO guard her
brothers interests. Hopkins income
is estimated at approximately 1925 n
month.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1922-02-14
TRI-SIDED WAR
THREATENS ERIN
Valera, Collins and Ulster
Factions All in Arms
Isy ED 4. KEEN

LONDON, Feb. t4.--ireland today
trcmhlcd on the verge OF open civil
war between three factions. These
factions are:
Supporters OF Eamonn DE Valera.
who are reported plotting 20 over.
throw the provisional government Of
the Irish Free State and proclaim a
republic.
The provisional government Of the
Irish Free State. headed By Michael
Collins.
The government has halted mill.
tary evacuation OF Ireland, Winston
Churchill announced In the house OF
commons today.
Ulster, which IN in arms against
raids over its border by the repuhll'
cans who want more OF the territory
claimed by Ulster.
With evacuation Of Ireland by the
British army held up temporarily the
situation was more tense than Mt any
time since the truce. Meanwhile tho
British house OF commons has before
IL final ratification OF the irish peace
treaty thru passage OF the legislation
formally establishing the Free STATE,
There waa n possibility that strong
deposition 10 such ratification nigh,
develop II ireland does not become
more peaceful immediately.
For the first time since the truce
which preceded the negotiations there
were lorry loads OF soldiers carrying
rifles trundiing about the streets ot
Cork today. dispatch from that
city said.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1922-02-14
BIG COAL STRIKE
LOOMING NEAR
Union Delegates Gather 10
Decide on Action

INDIANAPOLIS. Fcb. ft.--An in.
dustriai war, tying up Americas soft
coal output. and possibly paraiyxing
transportation. threatened the nation
today as 2.3oo delegates to the United
Mine Workers convention met TO
determine their policies.
Agents OF the government were
seen about union headquarters and
In corridors circulating about Tomlfn.
son ham. where the miners convened.
They make daily reports to the de.
partment OF labor.
Unless mine owners agree 10 meet
their employees In interstate wage
conference before the present agree
rnent expires al midnight. March 81.
the coal diggers are expected TO drop
their picks without orders from
union headquarters.
mo man IL going 70 work when he
doesn't know what he will receive for
his labors." n union leader said.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1922-02-14
man AND BABY
AUTO VICTIMS
Both May Die as Result Of
Accidents

A man and a baby were near death
Tuesday AS the result OF auto acct.
dents Monday night,
Thrown from her fathers automo'
lille. Jeanetlc Ailard. OF snoqualmie.
20 months old. suffered "a fractured
skull. The accident occurred at
Western ave. and Hell VI. when
Allard'a auto coliidcd with one driven
by ..arion NJ. .aoislyaiue. 500 First
ave. \. No one else was hurt.
Robert Tough. 80. OF ses6h
Aurora ave. wis removed 20 Prov.
dencc hospital with a fractured skull
after he had been struck by mn auto.
mobile drivyn by Charles l.. Kelsey.
b702 Paiatine ave. at Fremont ave.
and NJ. 10th st. Tough had Just
stepped from n street car and seem
ed confused when he saw kelsey'H
automobile, which had stopped 10 let
him pass. When Kelsey started.
Tough stepped directly In the path Of
tho car. according 10 Kelsey. kelsey
was ARRESTED but later released.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1922-02-14
HERE'S MORE ABOUT
BOY STUDENT
STARTS ON PAGE ONE

who arc given other things to Dc
beside attend school In their early
years. who are made To deveiol
thru some means other than boob
learning. will advance with cxcep
iional speed when finally they enter
school.
Clifford himself IL n regular hoy.
with big. gray eyes and light
brown hair. who grins and says.
''Yeh. ] get bout n average
on my work now. and maybe I'll
skip some morc--I don't know. But,
gce--'tisn't anything. anyway. "a
m mother Gays. ! guess the things
learned when was travelling
wade IL easier for going to school. /"
When asked what he intends 20
do when he's "Erown.up." clifford.
who says he Is going on the "roas.'
again In June. replies. III I have
my way about II. I'm going 10 ba
an actor and musician. That's
what I've always wanted TO be-"
Incidentally, while In seattle CIif.
ford is carrying newspaper route
for The Seattle Star. and IL MAX
ing an unusual record In his work.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1922-02-14
SWINDLE TRUST
IS UNEARTHED!
Foreign Born Lose Millions
to Crooks

CHICAGO, Feb. II. - Warrants
charging cmbezzicment against Ray
mond ]. BiHchoff ana Leslie Harring
ton. alleged TO have swindled citizens
OF little Poland" out OF $4,000. 600.
were Issued today.
CHICAGO, Feb. 14.--operations
OF gigantic "swindls trust which
has robbed the foreign born OF mil.
lions OF dollars were unearthed to-
day as police sought Leslie iiarring.
ton, who fled Chicago shortly after
his office was raided.
Others were involved in the ''Ponzi
piot" following probe OF the affairs
OF Raymond j. Bischoff. 20. who adj
mltted he drained t4.soo.ooo from
Lithuanian stock yard employees.
Harrington was sought after 20.
lice swooped down on the offices OF
the American Novncoli'e company
and arrested President Luke Byrnes.
Secretary Thomas Moran and Man
ager A. a. Lebcck.
According 10 Lebecki. Harrington
was the genius OF the frenzied H.
nance operations.
, we have given promisnory notes
for about si.s00. 900 since the office
opened" he said. "Peopie came "a
us with their money and wanted ua
20 invest II for them. IL they de
manded their interest or original In
vcstment, We made them accept
stock in the Soyacollte company"
Large blocks OF stock and books OF
promissory notes were seized by po
lice in the raid.
Blschoff. whose shattered finan'
cial VENTURES were aired before Fed
erai Judge lands. admitted that he
and Harrington had worked together
In some deals.
1 II was disclosed how the "wiz
ards fought over the spoiis and
used every effort TO take each others
I cuatomerr.
Operations OF the Western Land
Operators company came under the
scrutiny OF the police today. Casimir
Phililpoyich was under arrest here
and ~. r. West was reported cap
turcd at Aurora, Col. Both are al
legged TO be field agents OF the com
pany.
II was said by federal operatives
that the company dealt with Lithu
] anians in oil land leases and had
gathered In over 100000.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1922-02-14
FLEE after
AUTO WRECK
Men Captured After Chase
and Fight

Deserving their automobile
after II had crashed thru plate
glass window In shc Seattle Elec-
trio Fixture 90. n1pre st siS
Pine St. early Tuekday. e. Hol-
stead. 20. and I<w 0ppie. -.
were caught only after . long
chase and fist fight.
The driver lost control OF the car
and Il slowed into tho show case with
crash that could be heard fol
blocks. Altho suffering from mino,
injuries inflicted By flying glass. this
two men leaped out and raced vi
Pine st. as they saw policemen run
ming toward them.
They might have escaped had moi
Fire Marshal John NJ Boyle and Cus
Anderson. sic East DENLY way. beer
attracted by the taunts which thes
were shouting at their rursuers
Boyle and Anderson took up this
chase and overlook tho pair aftes
running two more blocks. The fugi
tives put up a fight. but their car,
tors had Quoted them BY the ums
policemen arrived.
Hoistead and Oppie were charged
with being drunk and dlsordsriy and
held for 500 bail apiece. Their ma
chine was taken TO the Mctropolitar
garage.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1922-02-14
HERE'S MORE ABOUT
FATHER
STARTS ON PAGE ONE

had been stopped as tho by violent
poison. but no teil-taic corroslon OF
the stomach or Intestinal Innings was
found. such as strychnine leaves.
Prosecuting Attorney HERNIA
Allen and Sheriff +. NJ. Roberts were
expected TO return in time for the
funeral today with the report OF the
chemical analysis.
While officials Of the West Coast
Grocery Co. the Tacoma concern
which distributed the salts. deny tina,
they handle poisons or that the fatal
package contained anything injurious
when II left their packing room, the
belief is held here that the sub
stanse. whatever IL was. was intro
duced before the package came into
the Rhodes home,
The entire countryside II planning
- attend the auintupie funeral.
which will be held at the cemetery
near Kiaber. Is miles west Of here.
SThe children were: verda. IL; Ed
ward. .; Marie. Z: James. s. and
vernie. 3.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1922-02-14
EDITOR IS
STRICKEN
IN OFFICE
H. G. Nicholas Dies Sudden.
ly During Talk With Post
lntelligencer Staff

stricken at his desk shortly after
returning from the Lincoln Day
banquet Of the Young Mems Repub
lican club. Harold Gardiner Mich
olas. managing editor OF the Seat
tie Post.intelligencer. died Monday
might before physicians could be
f0mmoncd. Heart trouble Is be
ileved 20 have been the cause.
Mr.. Nicholas. apparently In the
best OF health. had hurried back "a
his office from the banquet hali .or
a staff conference. His collapse
came without warning while he was
talking with several OF his assist
ants.
MIR. Nicholas. who was 81 years
old, was born IN ConStantinoplr,
the son OF William @. Nicholas. q
New York newspaper man then in
government service. He was edu-
Gated In Washington. n. c.. and the
Colorado School Of Mines. Golden.
Colorado.
He entered the newspaper bust.
ness In Washington. %. C., where
he served his apprenticeship on tho
Post under Scott {. Bone. now
governor Of Alaska. After this he
was employed In 81. Louis. Dallas.
Denver and San Francisco. For
eight years prior 10 last September,
when he came 20 Seattle. he had
been assistant managing editor OF
the San Francisco Examiner.
MIR. Nicholas Ii survived by hts
widow. Mrs. Ethel c. Nicholas; 8.
year-oid daughter. Judith: his moth.
er. sister and two brothers. He
-ahate hts home al 1858 s5th ave.
His body is at the Bonney. Wat.
son Undertaking Co.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1922-02-14
Says Taylor Was
Not Irish Lord

DENVER. Feb. "a. ~ william n
Taylor. slain movie director. was no,
an Irish lord but Just the son OF "a
good old fashioned Kansas farmer. q
according TO Mira Elizabeth Petrofr.
OF Denver. Mrs. Pcfroff claims 10
DO rccond cousin OF the dead al.
rector.
"Hla father was Oscar Tanner who
came 20 Kansas from Ireland" Mrs.
petroff said. He settled In Kannaa
because his cousin. Joseph. my
father. was living In Topeka"
Taylor married Ethel May Harri.
son in New York city In 1901, nc.
cordlnr TO Mrs pctroff
Reports that Taylor had n sister 10
whom he was giving $50 n month arc
not true. Mrs. petroff declared.
That WIS his sister.inlaw, the
widow of Howard Tanper." she said
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1922-02-14
HERE'S MORE ABOUT
BANK
STARTS ON PAGE ONE

made determined effort TO proven,
the judges action. but he was cut
off.
Il have informed myself on the
law In the case. and II is needless
for you TO present your arguments.
Christopher told him eoldly.
Christopher promised TO impanel
another grand jury at once. bu,
Hepburn. disregarding the usual
rigid etiquette Of the court room.
told him: "You'n never impanel
another jury in this countyr'
Citizens formed an Indignation
committee Immediately after the
grand jury had been dismissed. with
view Of Kidding tho bench Of
JudE. Christopher and filling his
place with a man who will aid.
rather than deter. the efforts OF vic
tlmixed deposltors to get Justice.
The entire state f. intensely inter.
ested In tho local situation. as there
rs hardly a hamlet In Oklahoma
which has not felt directly the col.
lapse OF the guaranty fund
The state administration In follow.
Ing the policy OF dlscouraginE pub
Lefty about the situation on the
ground that Il would hurt other
banks. Organizations OF depceitors
and independent newspapers take
violent issue with this stand. and
are pushing legal action In an effor,
TO punish the men responsible for
the failures and to get at least some
money out Of the wreck.
The guaranty fund II supposed
70 stand behind the failed banks. but
II Is millions In debt already. and
the hope OF putting II back on It's fee,
seems forlorn.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1922-02-14
SAILOR LOST
ON ATLANTIC

NEW YORK. Feb. if.-Tmns
atlantic vessels were scanning the
seas today for John Brickner sen.
man OF tho American frcighter Cnff
ney. who is thought 10 be ndrlfi
In n nfeboat 600 miles off Sandy
Hook.
Five days nEo while he WINS re
placing n line In the llfobost during
a bad storm. tho boat was swept
away with him an passenger.
Desperate efforts were made 10
reach the boat but night settled and
II was lost.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1922-02-14
FOR HIRE"
MAN SUED

Charging that Axci Jorgcnson.
"for hire" car driver. operating be.
tween Auburn and Enumclaw II un.
lawfully interfering with thc bust.
ness OF the Enumclaw TranHporta.
tion Co. Arthur r.. Griffin. receiver
for the company. opened suit In
Judge Austin L. Grifflths' court
Tuesday. Griffin. alleges that
Jorgenson has been operating his car
since September. 1921. without Ger.
tificnte OF necessity. and asks that
an injunction prohibiting him from
further operating be issued; that tho
company be AWARDED $4,000 damages.
and that $1,000 per month he paid
the transportation company by
Jorrcnson II at any future time he
operates the FOR hire" car on the
regular company route.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1922-02-14
TWO WOMEN
BADLY HURT

Two women were severely injured
In collisions Monday night.
Mrs. Samuel w. Noyes. tTfo Brook.
lyn ave. wife OF Col. Noyes. Univer.
sify Of Washington instructor. was
rendered unconscious for 30 minutes
when Der husbands auto crashed at
T.. s0th 81. and fsth ave. ~. r. into
a machine driven by Spencer Adams
szf5 Ravenna blvd. She was taken
TO her home.
James NJ. Sherman. 7o4 James ST..
reported Tuesday that an unknown
driver on Eastlake ave. had crashed
into the rear Of his machine. which
stood near n gas station ON HsmIin
ct. a woman in the car was hurried
against a shattered windshield and
suffered severe cuts on the head and
body.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1922-02-14
Will Probe Bond
Steal" on Friday

Probe Of the sale Of more than
81 900. 900 worth Of Skagit power
bonds will be held Friday afternoon
In the council chambers. according TO
plans formulated at the city hall.
Tho bonds were sold 20 Seattls's
Inner bond ring" at discount esti
mated al Is per cent Mayor cai6'
well charged that the deal cost tho
city nearly 100000.
City engineers and other officials
will be auizzed at the councilmante
investigation.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1922-02-14
Leaking Gas Plate
Claims Third Victim

A leaky gaH plate In n rooming
house at all Yesicr way claimed It's
second and third victims Tuesday
with the death OF J. 4. Keller So.
and Thomas Fulbigg, Sc. at the city
hospital. For more than a. hours n
desperate fight was wagcd 20 save
their lives. but they never regnincd
consciousness after being found In
the Justified room Saturday night.
a companion. Henry l.. Crcbbein. &C..
was dead when they were discovered,
Keller leaves a sister. Mrs. Helen
Iangstrom. ii5s 10Th ave. ~.