davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1922-09-11
SCAT! NOW IS
COMMAND At
WAL TER REED
Hospital Opens Relentless War
on Enemy Army Of
YowIing FeIines.

Sing a song OF Walter Reed and forty
thousand cats,
The faithful friends OF ancient maids
the deadly foes OF rats.
IN. garrison 10 ringing with their
dismal walls OF woe.
They've rot their marching orders and
Tn. tnss asi,ar.p psf ali a4e Crying and the girl.
And every house along the slime has
crepe upon the scor' ,.
And the guard Is fixing b.yoneu to
speed the parting guest
Rough cats. tough cats black cats and
Cats from Kilkenny and the sunny Isle
OF Mdn;
Packing up his hsverssck and putting
Old csi. bold cats. formed in double
ranks.
To march into Maryland on long and
hairy shanks.
This, to paraphrase the immortal
verse Of the army captain who sang
the dirge for the cats OF Leaven.
worth, describes the predicament OF
Walter Reed Hospital today. 1t is
said.
According to rumor. officers dt
the hospital have declared war on
the plague Of cats infesting the hos.
pital grounds II is said these cats
have increased 10 prodigiously in
number OF late and have become so
vociferous. especially during the
long hours from sunset to sunrise.
that they are disturbing the IA.
tients. Consequently. it's thumbs
down for the cats.
1t 10 rumored even that the situa.
ton is so bad that the hospital
heads have offered to soldiers con.
fined to the guardhouse for various
and sundry offvases. one day off
their term for each cat they bring
back. and have given them leave
to go cat hunting.
During the night watch lately,
IL Is said, II Is nothing uncommon
to hear a wild feline yowl. followed
by a burst OF laughter. This means
that another day has been Topped
off the sentence Of some doughboy.
One Of the boys is alleged to
have rung in the saem cat every
night for a week and to have
SO worked out sentence. His
duplicity was revealed, II is al
legged, when a count OF the com.
pounded cats was made at the end
Of the week, before they were
executed, and the actual number
fell just seven short Of the sup
posedly correct number. The lad
s said to have confessed, whereupon
his seven credits were knocked sky
high and he was dropped from the
list of accredited cat.hunters.
Residents in the vicinity of the
hospital say that, whereas the cats
have been so persistent and in
harmonious as TO drown out the
noise of approaching owl cars. they
ire now exceedingly few and far
Oetween, and that when one is
ieen he is generally sinking along
with a harassed and agitated look
and that he jumps wildly at the
sound of a suspicious football
astern.
The Washington times., 1922-09-11
WOMEN PLEN
CONFERENCE ON
PARTY PROGRAM
ErstwhiIe Suffragists Have
Called Meeting for Novein-
Der II in Capital.

The Ma .iOnal Womans Party will
hold it's annual conference Of State
and national officers in Washington
on November II and IL, 1t was an.
nounced today by the executive com
mittee.
The November meeting will be the
first national conference Of the party
leaders sine" he reorgan alton. in
February. 1o-1. when the "eu lIl
rights" program was initiated.
The committee announces. in Is
suing the call for the Novembe
meeting. that since the inception Of
the equal rights program dis,
elimination affecting over 1000, 5000
women has been removed
Other accomplishments recited by
the party since It's reorsa n IA ton in
eiudes the raising o. s?OO,0o0 'hroIGh
membership fees aac contributions
the purchase OF the national head,
quarters opposite the Capitol a ma
tion.wide investigation of d'sctim.
nations against women already com.
pleted in twenty-five States: the ere.
alton OF an equal rights literature
and a publicity and organizing cam
paign.
The Washington times., 1922-09-11
KALlIPOLIS GRoTo
TO TAKE OVER FAIR

With a number OF new attractions
the Fair at Sixteenth and Lamont
streets. operated for the last two
weeks by the Easern Star. will be
opened this evening at o'clock oy
the kulhpolis Grotto and continued
throughout the week. The veiled
Prophets have several surprises In
store for all seekers Of fun and frolic.
Two of the special features OF the
fair, under Grotto supervision, will
be a concert every evening by the
famous Grotto Band. and exhibition
OF eccentric dances by profession Is.
Music for the dancing on the big
open.air pavilion will be furnished
by the equally noted Grotto Or.
chestra. Other attractions include a
score OF novelty games. refreshment
booths, a gypsy camp, and Venetian
swings for the children.
The fair will be continued under
he Grotto supervision for the pcne.
TT OF the various units of that fra
ternlty and the Eastern Star Home.
John J. p. Mullane is managing di.
rector.
The Washington times., 1922-09-11
FOR MATH SHARKS.

r. T. LANE offers 20 the math
sharks one Of the hardest problems
put before them in months and
asks to see the equation that gives
the correct answer. Here's the
problem:
A man having a check but no
money went to a bank to have the
check cashed. The paying teller
made a mistake in paying the
check, giving the man the number
of dollars that was represented on
the check by cents and the number
Of cents that was represented on
the check by dollars. The man
then spent % cents and upon in.
voicing found that he had just
twice as much money as the check
really called for. What was the
amount OF the check?
The Washington times., 1922-09-11
BAKERS RAISE
$50 FOR FUND
To AID WIDOW
Receipt Of $40 Brings Total
Up to $533.5o in VoIun-
tary Subscriptions.

The Mrs. Samuel Frye Fund
raised by warm.hearted Washing
tonians for the family of the mIr.
dered Seat Pleasant grocer's clerk
today reached a total of $533.5O
when additional contributions total
ing $40 were received.
Shop employees Of the Holzbeier
lein Bakery passed the hat and
raised a"total of 500 for the fund
bringing 1t we'll above the $50O-mark
Today's contributions also include
$40 in cash from Washington
man who refused to leave his name
or any means of Identification and
who declined use of fictitious
name.
Mr.. and Mrs. H." sent in a
contribution of IS and like amou II
was received in an envelope with
out any inclosed note or any other
mark of Identification than the re
turn address, Mamie b. Pauley
201.3 Thirteenth street southeast.
The Washington times., 1922-09-11
LONG, HAIRED
SODA JERkERS
NON7APPET|Z|NG
Medics Favor Ban on Pomaded
Tresses Which Roam in
Ones Sundae.

Dispensers OF Banana Splits and
Lovers Delights who believe that
women have no corner on the
"crowning glory" market. should be
compelled to restrain their hirsute
charms during working hours, in the
opinion of many State and city health
commissioners, whose opinions were
recently solicited by a medical pub
lCatiOn. The hair net is advocated
as a part of the prescribed uniform.
'Long-haired men should confine
their hair to their heads" com.
mented DR.. Milton o. Nyberger. city
physician OF Wichita, Kans. 1t is
Just as necessary that they wear a
hair-net or a cap as II is for the
women to wear them. 1t is not an
uncommon sight to see the cake
eater soda -jerker swinging their
heads to toss back their Titan locks,
or using their hands as a brush TO
replace their hair"
However, Floyd Of the Fountain
Is not the only one falling under the
structures of the medical fraternity.
A goodly number OF those answering
the questionnaire believe that "re-
gardless of sex, those engaged in
the preparing or serving of food or
drink in establishments should wear
hair nets or other hair coverings"
Even the bobbed-hair hash-slinger
should he made TO conform, these
severe health authorities believe.
She will attain sort of chauve.
souris effect, with her tresses shorn
and the remainder confined in hay.
stack form, il they have their way.
ITS an i'll wind" chuckle manu-.
tacturers of nets.
The Washington times., 1922-09-11
U. S. AGREES TO RELEASE
INDIANS FROM FORT SILL

Tribal descendants OF Geronimo
and his famous Apache Indian hand
will be released from the For = Il
military reservation. in Oklahoma
under terms Of bill passed by the
Senate. The measure also provided
that each Indian be given a traC tot
Government land on which to make
his future home.
Geronimo's braves and heir fam
lilies have been held as prisoners
of war at Fort Sill for several de,
cades. Their release, sponsored by
Senator Harreld, Republican, OF
Oklahoma, was recommended by the
War Department.
The Washington times., 1922-09-11
MEXICO RETURNS SEIZED
PROPERTY TO BAPTiSTs

Mexican authorities have restored
certain school property TO the for
eign mission hoard OF the Southern
Baptist Church. which had previous
ly been seized at Saltillo, Mexico, the
State Department todav advised Sen
ator Harris Dem) OF Georgia.
Word Of the restoration was re-
ceived by the State Department. Har'
ris said. from the American consul
at Saltillo.
The Washington times., 1922-09-11
'C|TYOF TENTS
To HELP HOUSE
SHRINE GUESTS
Survey Of Washington lndi-
Gates Hotels Won't Care for
All of Visitors.

Erection of a huge tented city in
Potomac Park today faces local
Shriners as a means Of housing the
100000 Shriners and visitors ex'
pected in Washington for the annual
Shrine session here next June.
Every hotel room in the city has
been registered and an estimate Sc
cured of the number of rooms in
private homes which will be avail
able. The exhaustion of these hous'
ing facilities still leaves thousands
of the visitors to be housed.
Sleeping cars, unused Government
buildings. steamboats, and Other
means at hand will only accommo
date a few additional thousands and
will still leave thousands.
Plans for the tented city, which
may be in the vicinity of the Lincoln
Memorial, contemplate the pitching
of several thousand tents after army
camp plans. The campers will bt
organized into groups Of about th'
same size as an army battalion, with
mess facilities for each group, Bids
for tents and equipment probably
will not be asked until the assign
ment of the visitors to the availabl,
quarters has been completed and a.,
accurate estimate of the total il
reached.
Redemption of pledges toward tn
500, 900 guarantee fund for the en-
tertainment of the visiting Shriners
is going forward rapidly. Dozens OF
additional checks are being received
in each mail. No totals have yec
been made of the checks received
though the amount is thought to b"
substantial portion of the entir,
fund
The Washington times., 1922-09-11
j. :. TREASURY
CLERK BROWNS
At R0CKPO|NT
EIwood Mccarthy. on Outing
With Companions, Is Lost
While Swimming.
Whtle bathing fe.terday orr Rock

While bathing yesterday off Rock
Point, Nd. Elwood Mccarthy,
wenty-three years old. a clerk om.
ployed by the Treasury Department
and living at 3O27 Eleventh street
northwest. was drowned. despite the
efforts of three companions to save
him.
Mccarthy with George and Craig
Helms. OF the Clifton Terrace apart.
ments. and companion named
Murphy were swimming off the
Maryland resort when the tragedy
occurred. Mccarthy made no out.
cry when he was going down and
his companions were not alarmed.
When he failed to appear for some
lime they diyed several times in
an effort to bring him to the sur,
taCe. Fixing an improvised grap.
ping hook they dragged for the
body and brought it to the surface.
A brother arrived at Rock Point
last night and made arrangements
with the pastor of a church, where
The body was taken, to have it sent
10 this city.
Prior to going to France. where
he was identified with the Graves
Registration Service. young Nc,
Carthy had been a student OF George
Washington University.
The young man Is survived by his
father and mother, Mr.. and Mrs.
Daniel r. Mccarthy. brother,
Harry Mccarthy. and a sister,
Thelna. who is ten years old. They
all live at the Eleventh street
address
The Washington times., 1922-09-11
WHAT'S DOING
Today and Tomorrow

Today.
MeetIng-Concord Club, Sll street
northwes SIP. m.
Iecture-Nincent r. Redmonds, OF Los
Angeles Mems Good viii Club, sol
thirteenth street northwest, p. m.
Meeting-Wilmuth Brown Unit, Ameri-
can womens Legion, 1920 Newton street
northwest, tonight,
Tomorrow.
Luncheors s-Soroptimist Club, City Club,
1915 p. m.
Meeting-Pal o. Mine Club, Gil ?
street northwest, sp. m.
Meeting-Stanton Park Citizens Asso-
ciation. Peabody School, p. m.
Meeting-Takoma Park Citizens Asso-
citation. Takoma Park Library, s p. m.
Meeting-Congress Heights Citizens
Association, p. m.
Community concert - Chevy Chase
Community Center, +. V. Brown School,
s:fb y. m.
Meeting-Jewish Boy Scouts, Adath
Israel synagogue, . .. m.
The Washington times., 1922-09-11
SUFFERING DELUSIoNS,
MAN SLASHES THROAT

q. w. Martin. thirty years old, a
carpenter. whose home is in Ivan.
hoe, w. Va. yesterday siashed his
throat with razor while in his
room at ia Fifth street northwest.
After the cash was dressed at the
Casualty Hospital. Martin was sent
to the psychopathic ward of the
Washington Asylum and Hospital.
Martin has been out OF work for
several months and Is said to have
been suffering recently from haliu.
Citations, he frequently declaring
that he was being followed by mys.
terious people. Physicians believe
he is q paranoiac.
The Washington times., 1922-09-11
FINDS WALLET
GONE AF TER NAP
ON PARK BENCH
Grocery Store Also Reported
Entered and Robbed
Of 500.

While asleep on a bench in Judici.
airy Square last night, William Hol.
bert, of 613 New Jersey avenue
northwest. was robbed Of his wallet
containing $44 by a young man who
sat beside him. When Holbert awuk-
ened he found his bench companion
gone, and discovered that his wallet
had disappeared.
Forcing a rear door of the branch
store OF the Piggly-Wiggly com
pany at 31G4 Mt. Pleasant street
northwest, a thief sometime last
night stole $96 from the cash regis.
ter. Discovery that the store had
been entered was made by Judson
Finch. 1920 Mt. Pleasant street, who
found the rear door of the store open
last night.
Harry Barnett. of 1741 T stree
northwest, reported to the police this
morning that his bicycle was stolen
last night from the basement of his
home.
The Washington times., 1922-09-11
GEORGE WEARING INFLATED
CHEST-lT'S A GIRL

A new arrival in the family Of
George r. Holmes. chief OF tho Inter.
national News Service. Washington
office, made her presence known
about $50 o'clock this morning by
bawiins Justify. She arrived at the
Columbia Hospital. The needle on
the weighing machine jumped to
the ten.pound mark when she was
placed in the scale.
George has not vet decided whdt
ooenomen he will give the baby. The
Holmes family live at 1887 X street
northwest.
The Washington times., 1922-09-11
BUSOVERTURNS
WHEN RAMMED
BY STREET CAR
No Passengers in Vehicle at
Time-Driver Escapes
Injuries.

Struck by a car Of the Washing.
ton Railway and Electric Company
at Jackson place and II street north
west. bus Of the Washington Rapid
Transit Company today was over
turned and badly damaged. There
were no passengers in the bus at III"
time OF the collision and James
Ryan. SO New York avenue, who
was driving the machine, escaped
Uninjured.
Ryan was driving the bus north
on Jackson place and when reach.
ing II street was struck by the
street car. The force of the impac ct
overturned the bus. The machine
was soon righted and driven away.
Damage estimated at $500 was
caused to the car.
The Washington times., 1922-09-11
BOY HURTS HIS HEAD
IN WARDMAN POOL DIVE

Robert Spurrier, fifteen years old,
Of PAL Wooten avenue, Chevy Chase,
suffered a slight injury to his head
Yesterday when making a dive in
the swimming pool at the Wardman
Park Hotel. Spurrier took a deep
dive, striking his head on the bot.
tom of the pool. He. was treated at
the Emergency HOSPITAL.
The Washington times., 1922-09-11
FRIVOLTAGE.

Some employers are dong
their open shopping early.
Unlike men, women tn to con-
ceal the fact that they are self
made.
1922 also produced bumper
crop OF scandals.
Pittsburgh authorities rule
lUomen may smoke on the
streets. That being the case,
they won't wqnt to.
Speaking Of the bonus: Hope
Harding doesn't put the yet"
IN veto.
Mr.. Gray Paraphrased-"GoH-
Wdrd the statesman pLods his
weary Wdy."
It's hard to believe this Is the
same year that started off tCtth
a Disarmament Conference.
So far no ertra penitentidries
haze been erected to take care Of
the multitudes convicted under
Mr.. Daugherty's drive on wdr
profiteers.
The old European Triple
Alliance might trtlthfully refer
to Themselves as the Tripped
Alliance.
We ore evidently bound to
Europe until debt do US part"
Let no one mock golf. II all
members of Congress Vere golf
bugs they wouldn't haze had
time to pass the tariff oil. go.
In most current plays the plot
sickens.
PAUL WHITE.
THE PRUNE AND PEACH.
The poor prune was In love with |"
But the prune. alas. wa. broke.
And though the peach was mushy.
He said: I'VE cantalOupe.
Cheer up. oh! peach! BE cherry,
Don't get into n rut;
Don't think that I am a lemon
I'm Just common nut"
o. HOW WISE.
The Washington times., 1922-09-11
Death Is Investigated.

DR. J. Ramsay Nevitt. District
Coroner, today Is investigating the
sudden death last night OF Geo..
giana Middleton, colored, seventy
years old, Of Lanham, Md. The
woman. who was employed in the
home Of Paul Lanham, OF the MARY.
land township, was brought 10
Freedman's Hospital by Mr.. Ian.
ham. She died short time after
her arrival at the hospital.
The Washington times., 1922-09-11
THE "OVER CHEWER."

Sam Smith, a musician, to win
a wager, ate ten pounds Of cab
bage. fifteen pounds Of ham, three
loaves Of bread, one pound Of but
ter and topped 1t off with a quart
OF ice cream. He died. He mad
once expressed a desire to have a
band of music at his funeral.
When the band members gather
ed, Smiths widow asked the leader:
Are you going to play Chopin's
Funeral March,"
"Yaas, ma am" answered the
leader, "and end it up like Sam
ended IL up-as an over ChewNr!'
JULES BACKENHEIME
The Washington times., 1922-09-11
SITUATION
NEARING
N:ORMALCY
All Three Commissioners Anx-
ioas TO RsIlnquish Power on
Advice by Hoover.

District government control of
coal shipped into the District
may end the latter part of this
week, it was indicated today by
two of the District Commission
srs.
The opinion was expressed that
the commissioners have held the
reins over the coal dealers long
enough and that conditions were
gradually approaching normalcy.
Conditions Improving.
All three commissioners are
anxious to return the control over
coal to the dealers. Coal sh,p-
ing daily and the situation has
changed considerably for the better
in the past two weeks.
This afternoon the commissioners
viii confer with representatives II
the coal dealers and trade bodies
with q view to ascertaining the
exact situation In this city. This
conference, which begins at 3
o'clock. is expected to be an i'm
portant factor in the survey being
made to determine whether the
coal situation warrants the ending
Of coal control by the District Com
missioners.
The survey Of the coal situation
being made by the Public Utilities
Commission is practically completed
and the Commissioners will be able
to know in a day or two whethtr
conditions warrant their relinquish.
ing control.
The Commissioners today received
snoourssfng word from Secretary Of
Commerce Hoover and Federal Fuel
Administrator Spencer In the form
Of press notice.
Mining Now Adequate.
This notice stated that the coal to
the upper Great Lakes region was
proceeding satisfactorily and that in
some sections of the country the
emergency had practically passed.
The notice said that while enough
coal is being mined to provide for
the nations need the supply Is not
yet suffidient to provide for storage
demands.
instructions are being given vari-
Gus district coal committees to wind
up the affairs Of their officials jus;
as soon as the priority orders of the
committee have been taken care Of"
says the notice. 1T Is probable that
the district offices can be closed by
the end Of the week"
The Washington times., 1922-09-11
Coal Loadings Increased.

Coal loadings on Friday last totalCd
2S,4S7 cars, an increase of 491 cars
over the average daily loading for
the first week OF September and
1880 cars in excess Of the daily
average for September OF last year
the Association OF Railway Execu.
uves announced today.
The Washington times., 1922-09-11
V. F. w. Meet Tonight.

Outlines for the various activities
of the Veterans of Foreign Wars in
the District will be made, and re.
ports from representatives OF the de.
partment who attended the annual
national encampment at Seattle will
be heard, at a meeting at departme mt
headquarters at o'clock this even.
ing
The Washington times., 1922-09-11
Women to Open Club.

A house warming will be held
Wednesday evening in the new
quarters opened in the Kellogg
building by the Business Women's
Council office and club. Miss S. L.
Hanlein today urged all members to
be present. The affair will begin at
4.30 p. m. and will end at 10 o'clock.
The Washington times., 1922-09-11
Autos Stolen Here
During Past
"a Hours

bort sedan, owned by Robert
Nj. Cole. 22lS Pennsylvania ave.
nue. northwest. Stolen from In
front Of above. Florida tag
license No. c. 6697.
Cline roadster, owned by T.. u
Ahrens, Of Walter Reed Hospital
Stolen from Dogwood street, neal
Georgia avenue. ID. c. Tag No
60-38e.
The Washington times., 1922-09-11
ApopIexy Causes Death.

Stricken with apoplexy yesterday y
at his home. Fleetwood Dixon. fifty
seven years old. OF $40 Fourth stree,
northeast, died several hours later
The Washington times., 1922-09-11
"HIP AND MOUTH" DIsEASI

"HIP AND MOUTH" DISEASE.
The "foot and mouth disease"
among cattle used to otvs tho
srperts Of the Department Of
Agric,.ltsrs a great deal Of trou-
Die. IL Is tho "hip and mouth
disease" thGt Is no1o ,oorrying
the prohibition enforcement off,
csrs. 1t is manifested by a Wet-
ness on tho hip and drynsss of
the. mouth, Nth the hip often
becoming DIV stter the mouth
has been sosttsd up too many
times.
REAL ACCOMPLISHMENT.
P. D. =. glimpsed this ad in an
afternoon paper:
man who can
drive Dodge car and fry oysters.
The Washington times., 1922-09-11
LA FOLLETTE'S VICTORY.

The hands that rock the cradle
AIss cast a mighty vote.
'TWas proved by test, out in the
West,
In Wisconsin, you ,0tll note.
Bob" seens ersp stronger
Than he ever wds before;
You san BET he'u ,Oin out yet,
And "bs there" as Of yore.
PANSY BUSH.
The Washington times., 1922-09-11
WHEN LOVE GROWS COLD.

Their honeymoon has hit the skid,
The ends In sight. tits feared
She ate slab Of onion and
He's got two-days beard.
Cincinnati Enquirer.
The Washington times., 1922-09-11

WHO REMEMBERS when men
SNEERED when their wives
CHARTERED about wonderful
BARGAINS IN dry goods ?"
WHAT DO wives say now
WHEN THEIR husbands talk
ABOUT NOTHING else than
BARGAINS" TREY can get
IN WET GOODS?
TILLIE
YOUNG TENNIS STARS.
Some OF the tennis stars to be
seen on the Monument grounds are
JANOULA CHACONAS, POTA
CHACONAS. WILLIAM SHAFT.
NOS. GEORGE CHACONAS and
PAUL NORRIS. YARANON.
The Washington times., 1922-09-11
CT COAL CONTROL TO BE GIVEN OVER TO DEALERS In WEEK
YSAEaRD1 D1tasEEk 20
aS4-SBr BILL pRICEe4%S~
THOSE SHOCKED TROOPS.

The Yankee shock troops
Were indeed soldiers brave
And tho best OF fighting men,
But over In France
They saw the girls dance,
That's what really shocked them.
HANK HAWKINS.
The Washington times., 1922-09-11

Who remembers When a
teUow used to 90 to the bur-
lesque shows to get a shock?
NoV he just strous out on the
streets.
OKLAHOMA PETE.
The Washington times., 1922-09-11
THE FINAL GREEN EDITION

contains baseball scores, COM
plete racing entries and results
and other sport world happen
ings. Get your news day ahead.
The Washington times., 1922-09-11
A VACATION DELIGHT

The Daily and Sunday Times.
Order Il sent to your seashore
or mountain resort-95 cents
q month, $3.50 for three months.