Hickory daily record., 1922-07-25
THAT SPEECH HE DIDN'T MAKE
(By Marcellus Thornton)

WnGn L iedTHSu Tue DeSC way W as
certain the square root of a hogs nose
is to turn him loose in a tater patch,
| was at dinner one day when my faith
,er's hogs found it out and made the
test before we could figure on it. But
it seemed to be about four hundred per
hog per minute.
Since my forte 1or communicating
information is not III speech but IN
writing, | beg to be allowed, like Cal
vim Hahn, to improve my remarks
made before the Rotary club dinner at
the Huffry hotel July 9th, about the
ancient history of Hickory. How |
got here and what l found.
Current history of Hickory finds our
colored friends in unrest as we'll as
Hickory whites. They are having trou-
Bile over "Luck" all sorts OF luelS--
good and bad. They say "bad luck" has
just taken possession of them over
in Bob town, our suburb to the south
which is the best part of Hickory's
residential section. Those colored peo-
pie have gone daft on luck. Good or
bad luck enters their every thought
and action This is good luck and that
is bad luck. 1t extends SO far that some
Of those good people have ideas that
contravene each other: One thinks one
thing is good luck which another thinks
is bad luck. The notion is still spread
ing among then!--if sucn be possible.
The high note Of their superstition
has taken the form OF believing that
it is bad luck to wash for certain white
folks, and that they never miss a
"meetin' at their church" Colored peo
ole throughout the south are the most
scrupulously religious folk in the
United States-to bluntly speak the
plain truth.
Ae few days ago there was strange
disturbance, took place among them
hat has left an echo in their minds.
A number Of colored folks were as
oembled at Brother Hebers in the back
yard when Samson appeared and took
a hatchet one Of the boys had in his
hand, as related by the colored boy
who tends on me, and sorter give it
little fling upward towards heav'n.
an it went cut Nv sight. When they
all got tired lookin' fur it ter come
back dey went in de house-cept q.
few boys: Dey heard noise sizzin'
an saw de hatchet comm back. 1t
fell right out in de yard and buried
tself in de groUn' up-ter de tip er de
handle. Dey tried to pull up de hatchet
but couldn't. Den dey axed Samson to
pull it up. Samson he just took holt
de eend Nv de handle an jerked dat
iatchet right out'n dat groun'. Some
axed him to fling it agin. He drawed
arl to do it when Toss ShufOrd tole
i'm to fling it inter heaven. Samson
was gwin-ter do it, when de debel Or
some one like i'm standin' dere says:
EFF yer fling dat hatchet inter hea-
ven, [ lef my partner up dare an
# he gets holt dat Ratchet he'll kill
cvry niger in heaven!"
Our preacher said: "Somebody bet
er ak MIR. Samson not to fling it to
'eaven. He meant ter jes let de hat
het stop somewhere dis side. Mr.. Sam
on didn't fling de hatchet an lef
dem niggers to live right on in hea-
ven"
The most appropriate emblem for
Hickory can recall to mind would bo
show section of an old fashioned
aw-mill metal smoke stack laying on
wheeels-like prohibition sailing on
aft with fashionable old fashioned
ady's hoop skirt inherited, stacked
Up one end, with Mr.. Frank Clinard on
dry goods box attached behind as a
.ender alongside the old depot. met
him first time in double-decker
rame house located below, west of
he hotel called Hickory Inn," which
| went in to see. Midas Link was the
Encyclopedia of the town. He told the
ecple | was pugilist from Atlanta,
t | djI hail from Bridgewater; that / |
icked General John B. Gordon and |
he Atlanta Constitution had two
'oluno account about it; that I had |
him Gown washing and pounding his |
ace n the overflow reservoir of the !
:ountain in the Kimball House at mid
ngEt In 1880 after his son Frank |
red to knock me down with a log
and had put him in the same watet
BASIN when the senator took it up to
.ouhle-team on me; that I wore out |
ny blue cotton umbrella which when
n the rain used to come to the hotel
ate in night from my sick bed in
ny room up town. Judge Cilley told
nm 1t was me who was sick, not the
'ed. Then Mr.. Link said all the peo-
le of Hickory called me the Dude.
with the designation they1
we're yaps, wore unshined brogans, no
'ollars, coatless and juice of tobacco
On the front
Now | notice that they are the dudes
md am the yap. Nothing like teach
ng how and what's what. Frank Cor
Ion thought ] was opposed to h'~
ather's reelection to the senate. Genl.
Jolquit was the one elected senator
n place Of Gordon. l was not a can
lldate. General Gordon and / were
rlends till his death; he was to lecture
lere in Hickory.
It's not plain how it comes, vet quite
'bstrusely like Sut Lovengood when
le was training his pet ram goat to
'utt while on his all fsurs his son
urned the dog loose and he grabbed
SUITS trousers, perhaps his hide and
and: Hold on Dad! It'll be the max
n OF the pup!" l don't know so much /
lbout holding on to my holt. But if it
ecomes necessary for me to ascer-
AIN the square measure Of a good din
ler :. could get NC better than at a I
? 4 L