davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1922-08-05

esNEANY items In this esti.
AVA mate" explains the rnedl.
col authority, ARE left largely
to the ina gination, such as the
size Of the dog and the number
Of his tormentors. but the total
cost Of ingredients Is given AZ
ninotyynisht cents. which Is
neither expensive nor calculated
10 foster mesalonania, The
practical value Of visualised
scientific data lies not only IN
the stimulation to memory
through the Imagination, but
also In the food for thought
which they offer"
True enough. there is food
for thought In such an estimate,
and stimulus for the imagina-
tion, First Of all, there is the
thought OF the wonderful skill
Of the chemist who can thus
anaiyse flesh and blood and re.
duce them to their inorganic
elements. But there follows in
stantly the thought that the
The Washington times., 1922-08-05
SAP and SALT
BY Bert Moses

Copyright. 1881. by Premier Syndicate Ino,
A touch Of mystery helps a lot in making
u sale.
Try and put in your time at something else
than just growing older.
The exercise you get in an office chair will
not develop the chest musces.
Men who wear corsets have about the same
mental range women who don't.
Innocence is probably the poorest asset
anyone can go into business with.
The dividing line between leisure and lazi.
ness is about as narrow as that between two
bits and a quarter.
Hez Heck says: Farmers IL either waitin'
fer IL TO clear up or hopin' II will rain"
The Washington times., 1922-08-05
Ima RH FIGURES
D' DlS' BAER

MAN was arrested
AVA golf on Sunday: playing
have been pinched twice. Rouid
tine for nlavin1 0olf Srst
FROM what we've lorgnetted
of most mems golf. II is no
worse on Sunday than 1t is on
Tuesday. II possible.
MAJORITY of country clubs
operate seven days per
week. rain or shine, summer or
winter. and lies or truth. There
is something about golf that
makes liars out of otherwise
wealthy and honest voluntary
bankrupts. Rule states that
missed swing counts one stroke,
yet those scions OF influential
Munchausen family stand there
and swing like Holland wind
mills in ocean breeze and never
turn in tournament indictment
over two figures.
TWO figures is golfers prayer
at twilight. Do you like
golf? Then help yourself to
another slice.
WHEN golfer gets so efficient
with his Imagination that
he can wheel around links in
less than 100. he gets so happy
that he goes home and raises
family cats salary two mice.
TWO below par is an eagle.
Three below is cuckoo. Let
any divot shoveller crack 100
and he is two-figure man for
life. He may get round.shoul.
dered from replacing divots,
sprain his neck looking over
bunkers and break his arm
trying to add up his puts. But
from that moment he Is two
figure golfer and no nation on
earth shall tear 1t up.
THAT may be his only good
day in entire calendar of
sour months. But he remem-
ucIs Indt IKE elepnAntS refnem-
Der small boy who gave them
peanuts full Of red pepper.
Later on In life that boy may
become famous and take his son
to see circus. When that ele-
phant sees him his ears will
start to vibrate with congested
memory and his eyes will con-
tract like pinholes in rubber.
Even II fifty years have col.
lapsed he will snort and hold
out his trunk for another pea
nut.
60 II you can cool soup and
warm your fingers with
same breath, why shouldn't
golfers add UP their scores by
daylight saving time and knock
off twenty strokes for good
behavior
I EFT 'em lie. There are enough
adding machines in next
world. And every picture of
angel we ever saw indicated
that his halo was too big for his
head.
The Washington times., 1922-08-05
THE SPECTATOR
Beauty

hate the place" That is why
they leave 1t as soon as they
are old enough. At least, that
is a very important contributing
reason.
That Is also one OF the rea-
sons why we have so little civic
pride. We have little to be
proud Of.
We ought to realize that even
from the standpoint Of efficiency
people do better work when they
are In conducive surroundings.
The Cash Register Company
at Dayton has no strikes. 1t
has never had any labor troubles.
II you visit the place you will
see why.
The factories are beautiful.
They are largely Of glass. The
workers work amid beautiful
surroundings. They are not only
well paid: they are treated as
human beings. All around the
work buildings. engine houses.
stables and warehouses are beds
of flowers. smooth lawns, gravel
ed roads. And a vast park Is at
hand where the workers can
picnic.
Go to another factory, one
that I have especially in mind,
where they manufacture steel
products. Its huge. blackened
/ walls look like a state prison.
The fire and smoke belching
from it's chimneys look like hell.
The homes of the work-people
are novels. There are no flowers,
no trees, no lawns; only dirty,
cluttered yards, goats and bat
tered tomato cans. They have
plenty of labor troubles there.
This Of course does not mean
that you can satisfy laborers by
giving them posies, but 1t does
mean that Beauty helps.
For the company that provides
Beauty shows that 1t realizes
that it is dealing with human
beings, and not with cattle.
THERE ought to be a course
OF civic aesthetics in every
college. and youths should be
taught that Beauty is worth
while.
There ought to be at least one
artist employed by every COM
pany, to idealize and glorify the
work.
Aesthetics is not a niminy-
piminy. sissy affair. 1t means
happiness. 1t means an inter
esting life. And happiness and
life are what we are all after.
America is the richest country
in the world. There Is no reason
why it should not be made the
most charming.
Beauty and art are fed by the
surplus means Of a people. We
have the surplus.
We cannot maintain the lead
ership OF the world IL we are
only vulgarly rich.
And let us use our riches not
to fill museums with Old World
fragments. nor to build ginger.
bread freak houses here and
there, but to make every town
and city and farm a thing Of
! beauty, and SO a joy forever.
The Washington times., 1922-08-05
We TOWNE GOSSIP
lsss. 10 star os.psa,
BY K. T.. B:

Dear X. @. B.-I was riding In the subway
and as the train went around . curve q guard
who was changing the plates In the side Of
e car lost his balance and struck his head
ns s2st the opposite row Of seats. He got q
IN ,bSrack. but was glad. All Of the people
h.rsd tss laughed. They probably remem
balance IN spss they had nearly lost their
LA hscan.s Ss< to hold on to strap. was
- taste Of his own medicine
GEORGIE
The Washington times., 1922-08-05
What We Are Made Of
BY Hei-y Smith Williams

A PROMINENT medical jou.
- nal so far unbends from
the austere attitude of techni-
cal science as to quote what Is
described as "an amusing. even
II not very precise, estimate of
the total chemical composition
Of the average man."
The estimate is thus sum.
married.:
Fat enough for seven bars
Of soap; iron enough for a me-
dunn sized nail, sugar enough
to I'LL q shaker; lime enough to
whitewash q chicken coop; phos.
phorus enough to make 1900
match tips: magnesium enough
for q dose Of magnesia; calcium
enough to explode a toy cannon,
and sulphur enough to rid a dog
Of fleas."
The Washington times., 1922-08-05
Stars and Stripes

UNANSwERABLE QUESTION NO. I.
Where have all the swinging doors
gone to?
Two snakes. fighting In road upset
bootlegger's automobile He ought 10
handle better stuff.
The Washington times., 1922-08-05
THOUGHTFUL ph

~ O1
"A gist. In the presence OF the
"ss cents" worth Of ingredients
Of the human body. finds him
self somewhat In the position OF
the wouid.be chauffeur. He can
not at all make cut how certain
quantities Of iron and lime and
magnesium and phosphorus,
compounded with water, can
make a living organism that
runs without any horses
hitched to IT,"
That final thought has per-
haps greater value than even
the most comprehensive knowi.
edge OF the particular in
gradients that we are made Of.
The Washington times., 1922-08-05
CAN THIS RES

Often when a girl sues for
breach Of promise it's just
small hint Of what might have
happened to the poor chap II
he'd gone through with Il.
The Washington times., 1922-08-05

Children Of Chihuahua, Mexico. robbed
the State capitol. What politicians thew
will make when they grow up.
Love 10 a live wire. Easy 70 pr,b
but hard to let go Of
The Washington times., 1922-08-05
All!

IT can't see how II is that q
chorus girl should appeal to
such a man. She has no intellect
whatever"
"Ahl But what understandingn
The Washington times., 1922-08-05

THE people OF the United
States work. There are
comparatively few loafers.
We have practically no idle
class such as Is found in the
older countries, a class that sits
on the workers backs and that
dominates them socially and in
dustrially, a class to which the
workers look up in awe and to
which they all aspire.
Most OF us spend our lives
in offices, in factories or on
farms.
And our work places are ugly.
dreary and uninteresting. while
those Of Europeans are charm
ing.
OUR houses are ugly, our
" cities are ugly, our factor
les are ugly.
Why cannot a democracy be
as beautiful as monarchies and
aristocracies?
Why cannot office buildings
be as attractive as cathedrals?
Why cannot factories be as
artistic as chateaux?
Why cannot the farmhouses
Of freeborn Americans be as
picturesque as the cottages and
lodges that dukes build for their
retainers and tenants?
The answer is: We don't care.
At least. we don't care enough.
We have not yet got to the
stage of development where
beauty is sufficiently worth
while to work for ii.
We are too busy making
money.
And when we get money
ahead we spend 1t in bad taste.
One reason is. we are not
old enough. The appreciation Of
beauty comes to a nation with
age.
The Washington times., 1922-08-05

mind which makes this scientific
estimate is, after all. associated
"is a human body altogether
slmifat to the one analyzed; and
that we~tind no trace of this
mind in the~yecord Of iron and
lime and phosphorus and these
other ultimate constituents.
And that seems a N~y notable
omission.
The Washington times., 1922-08-05

"A ND SO 1t appears that the
analyst. despite the mar.
vels of his chemistry, is vet a
long way short Of telling us all
about the human body as we
know It. One Is reminded of
the story of the colored man
who had gone to work in a
garage, and was questioned by
his former employer. who
wished to know how he was ret.
ting on.
"Oh. I is.settin' on fust rate,
boss" was the r~n,v 1T know
pretty near everything about
that there ottymobile except lest
one thing. I can't Jest make out
how that thar machine runs
without any hosses hitcned
to IT," IS.
The Washington times., 1922-08-05

EFT 'em lie. There are enough
adding machines in next
world. And every picture of
angel we ever saw indicated
that his halo was too big for his
head
The Washington times., 1922-08-05
THEY CAN'T RESIST
Copyright. Isaa. by Star Company.

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The Yale expositor. (Yale, St. Clair County, Mich.) 1894-current, 1922-04-06

the faint ghost OF a smile touched Lhs
once kindly and merry mouth.
They said gOOd-by TO her at the
church, the villagers and old friends
who had loved her, and Peter and
two or three men alone followed her
down along the winding road that led
to the old cemetery. Cherry was
hanging over the bedside of her hus-
band, who still miraculOusly fingered
through hours of pain, but as Peter.
responsive to touch on mis- arm
crossed the church porch 10 blindly
enter the waiting motor car, he saw,
erect and grave, on the front seat,
ir. his decent holiday black, and with
his felt hat held In his hands, KOw,
claiming his right to stand beside the
grave of the mistress he had loved
and served so faithfully. The sight OF
him, in his clumsy black, instead On
the usual crisp white, and with sad
and tear-stained face shook Peter
strangely. but he did not show q sigr
of pain.
The twisted low branches Of oak
trees threw shadows on the grave
when they finally reached II, and sheep
were cropping the watered grass Oi
the graveyard The soft autumn sky,
the drift of snowy clouds across The
blue, 'he clear shadows on brown
grass uT1er the oaks, all these were
familiar. But Peipr still looked dazed.
iy at his p'ack cuff and al the turned
earth next 10 the doctors headstOne
telling himself again that this was fOi
Alix. How often he had seen her sit.
ting there, with her bright face sObered
and sweet, as she talked lovingly,
eagerly .? her father! They had of.
ten come here, Peter the more willing.
ly because she was so sensible and
The Yale expositor. (Yale, St. Clair County, Mich.) 1894-current, 1922-04-06
CHAPTER XIX.

II was all strange and bewildering,
thought Peter. II was not like any
thing he had ever connected in his
thoughts with Alix, yet 1t was all for
her
The day was warm and still, and
the little church was packed with
flowers and packed with people. WON
en- were crying, and men we're crying.
too. rather to his dazed surprise. The
organ was straining through the
warm, fragrant air, and the old clergy
man, whose venerable, leonlne head,
in its crown of snowy hair. Peter could
see clearly, spoke In voice that was
thickened with tears. Strangers. or
almost strangers, had been touching
Peters hand respectfully, timldly, had
been praising AIix. She had been
good" to this one. good" to that one.
they told him; she had always been so
interested" and so "happy."
Her coffin was buried in flowers
many of them the plain flowers she
loved, the giIlies and stock and YER
hena and even the sweet. sober wall
flowers that weEe somehow like her
self. But II was the roses that scented
the whole world for Allx today, and
fresh creamy buds had been placed
between the waxen fingers. And still
that radiant look OF triumphant love
fingered on her quiet face, and still
The Yale expositor. (Yale, St. Clair County, Mich.) 1894-current, 1922-04-06

happy about IL; she would pack lunch,
button herself into one of the crisp
blue ginghams. chatter OE the rnad
in her usual fashion. And If, for a
few moments, the train Of memory
fired by the sight Of the old doctors
grave became too poignant and tearT
came, she always scolded herself witt
that mixture of childish and maternal
Impotence that was so characteristic
Of her, and that Peter had seen her
use 10 this very father years ago!
He remembered her, a tall, awkward
girl. with a volume Of Dickens slip
ping from her lap as she sat on has
sock by the fire, teasing her father
Scolding and reproaching him Blazing
red on her high cheekbOnes, uptids
black hair, quick tongue and ready
laugh: that was the Alix of the ole
days, when he had criticized and rat
ronized her, and told her that she
should be more like Anne and little
Cherry
He remembered being delegated, one
day, 10 take her into town to the den
tiss, and that upon discovering tina,
the dentist was not in his Office. he had
taken her to the circus IL stead She
had been about thirteen AMI had eaten
too many peanuts. he thought. and
had lost a petticoat In full sight Of the
grandstand But how grateful and
happy she had been!
"Dear little old blue petticoat!" he
said. Dear little old madcap AliV--W
There was silence, the silence Of
hamilton, about him. He came 10
himself with a start. He was up on
the hills, in the cemetery-this was
AIix's grave. newly covered with wilt
ing masses of flowers, and he was
keeping everybody waiting. He muir.
INJURED an apology; the waiting mex
were all kindness and sympathy.
CTo BE cONTINUED)
The Yale expositor. (Yale, St. Clair County, Mich.) 1894-current, 1922-04-06

over her, but she mastered IT. HE
was caught by that tree" she said.
"And he is living. viii you tell them
tell one of these men-that If he
will help me, we can drive him home.
n you'll tell him that, then III get a
iOctOI--"
Eyes, WILL" Peter said not stir
ring. His eyes had the look Of a sleep
walker; he nodded slowly and gravely
at her. like n very old man. "You--"
ne said to man who had stopped his
car near by and who was pressing
.ympatheucally close. "Will you-?"
eff you'll sit In the back seat, dear,
ard lust rest his poor head" woman
aid 70 Cherry. Peter saw that they
vere lifting Martins big, senseIess
FORM in tender hands and carrying II
through the little group. There was
a sbrdaer ms Martin moaned deeply
peter went and sat on the low bank
nv AI,x again, and lifted one Of her
linn hands, and held II. All, II In
Gods mercy and goodness she might
moan. he thought. that one slight ray
AZ houo would 6ood all the world with
The Yale expositor. (Yale, St. Clair County, Mich.) 1894-current, 1922-04-06
CHAPTER xVllI-continued.

A last curve, and they knew. Over
one OF the sharpest and ugliest of the
descending precipices, crashing down
through the saplings and underbrush
and striking the trunks of a score of
trees on its way. the heavy car had
fallen like boulder. And Peter saw
that II was Alix's car, and with a great
crx he sprang over the bank and, slip
ping and stumbling, followed its mad
course down almost to the dry creek
bed In the canyon. and fell on his
knees beside the huddled figure that,
erect and strong, In its striped blue
Bingham, had been Alix only a few
short minutes ago.
She had been flung clear Of the car,
and although every bone in her body
was broken, by some miracle the face,
except for deep cut where the brown
hair met the tanned forehead, was un-
touched. And as he caught her in his
arms and bent over her with the Bit
terness of death stopping his own
heart, a soft, thick braid lOOsened and
fell like the touch of her hand upon
his own. and II seemed TO him that In
the tranquil face and in the very look
of the closed and fast-shadowing eye
lids he caught glimpse of Alix's old
smile.
Peter forgot everything else in the
world. He held her close to him and
put his face against her face, and per-
haps she had never so truly been his
own as in this moment of their part
ing, when the quiet autumn woodland,
shot with long shafts from the sinking
sun, rang with his bitter cry:
"No, Alix-nOt dead! My wife
my wife |"
There were other men and women
gathering fast now, and the whole lit
tie valley was beginning to ring with
the tragedy. After a while some sym
pathetic man touched Peter on the
arm to say that Mrs Lloyd had
tainted, and that If he would please
tell them what 10 do about the other
mamie was not yet dead
Peter reused himself, and with help
from half a dozen hands on all sides
he carried Alix up to the road and
laid her upon a motor robe that some
kindly spectator had spread in the
deep dust.
Presently he was conscious that n
small, slight woman with disorderly
fair hair and with her face streaked
with dust and tears was standing be-
side him, and looking down at her,
he saw that it was Cherry.
Eyes, CherryT" he said, moistening
his dry lips.
Peter" she said, they say Mar
tins living-he was screaming" She
grew deathly pale and faintness swept
The Yale expositor. (Yale, St. Clair County, Mich.) 1894-current, 1922-04-06
salt and pampnsss.

Salt is what is called "hygr0scO
pic that is, it eagerly AhsOrbs mois
ture. In fact. both ar sad salt are
absorbents of moisture sai 4 is q
contest between them as 10 which
gets II. Results depend % atmos
pheric conditions. OrdiDary ttmos
phere always contains proportion
of moisture, and warm air is apt r.
he more humid than cold, as II alb
serbs and holds water vapOr more
readily than cold air. Salt has such
affinity for moisture that under such
conditions 1t draws II from the air
When the air becores dry, the mois
ture is given up by the salt, which in
turn becomes dry as II teturns the
moisture TO the air.
The Yale expositor. (Yale, St. Clair County, Mich.) 1894-current, 1922-04-06
MOTHER! CLEAN
CHILD'S BOWELS WITH
CALIFORNIA FIG SYRUP

Even a sick child loves the "fruity"
taste Of california Fig Syrup" II the
little tongue is coated, or II your child
Is listless, cross, feverish, full of cold,
or has collie, give a teaspOOnful to
cleanse the liver and bowels In few
hours you can see for yourself how
thoroughly il works all the constipa-
ton poison. sour bile and waste out of
the bowels, and you have well, play
full child again.
Millions of mothers keep California
Fig Syrup" handy. They know tea
spoonful today saves sick child to-
morrow Ask your druggist for genu-
Inc california Fig Syrup" which has
directions for babies and children OF
all ages printed on bottle. Mother |
You must say california" or you may
get an Imitation hg syrup.-Advertise-
ment
The Yale expositor. (Yale, St. Clair County, Mich.) 1894-current, 1922-04-06
Matter Of Climate.

what does that picture representa-"
asked Mr.. Wadleigh.
Venus rising from the sea" said
the art dealer.
Gosh! She hasn't any clothes on
couldn't have a picture like that In
my house. Show me a hunting scene"
Here YOU are, sir. Diana Of the
chase"
"She's not dressed. either. Better
show me II picture Of some EskimOs
hunting seals"
The Yale expositor. (Yale, St. Clair County, Mich.) 1894-current, 1922-04-06
A union OF
INTEREST To WOMEN
Healthy Housewife Happy Home
Lydia E. Pinkhams Vegetable Compound Has Helped
Form MANY

For the ailing. half-sick housewife
such a union is impossible. Often
times even the slightest form of
housework cannot be accomplished.
Yet the work must be done.
Many women struggle along for
years suffering from some form Of
female trouble that make their lives
miserable and their homes far from
happy.
Lydia r. Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound has helped thousands of
just such women regain their health
and strength. Just give your thought
to the following letters and remem-
Der that the women who wrote these
letters knew how they felt before
taking the Vegetable Compound and
again afterwards. lthelped them
let it help you.
Had Nervous Spells
Horatio, Ark. - 81 had nervous
spells and awful bad feelings. My
right side and my back hurt me all
the time and / had been going down
in health for six or seven years. For
three years | had not been able to do
my work without help. / weighed
only 95 pounds when my husbands
mother persuaded me to take Lydia
E. Plnkham's Vegetable Compound.
Now l heartily recommend it to all
suffering women, as l have gained
weight and health. can do all my
work, anything ! want to do."-Mrs.
JIM REARICK, Horatio, Arkansas.
The Yale expositor. (Yale, St. Clair County, Mich.) 1894-current, 1922-04-06

Watch cuticura Improve Your Skin.
On rising and retiring gently smear
the face with CUti"ura Ointment
Wash Off Ointment y FIVE minutes
with Cuticura Soap and hot water. II
is wonderful what Cuticura will do
for poor compilations, dandruff. itching
and red rough ds.-AdvertiSement
The Yale expositor. (Yale, St. Clair County, Mich.) 1894-current, 1922-04-06
Make EunneI from EaasheII.

when it is desired to fill narrow
necked bottles and funnel is una
valuable, one can be improvised from
an eggshell The shell should he quite
dry, and small opening made nj the
bottom. Stand the shell so that tbs
hole is well over the opening Of The
contalner to be filled and prOces'
as with regular tnasl
The Yale expositor. (Yale, St. Clair County, Mich.) 1894-current, 1922-04-06

LOOk-New Invention 90 Egg hen Hatch
ing Incubator Setting hen produces the nee
essary heat, automatically becomes a brOOder
when eggs are Matched guaranteed to hatch
every hatChable egg. You can make one in
few hours spare time, material costs less
than 81. Send S125 for drawings ana specih-
cations money refunded N not satisfactory
Address John Frazer u $40. Rochester y Y
The Yale expositor. (Yale, St. Clair County, Mich.) 1894-current, 1922-04-06
AS Il Usually Works Out.

Gle taught his wife to run the car"
yes"
"Then his oldest hoy learned how
to drive"
"Yes."
"Then he taught his daughter"
"Wel?
Nov if he wants to go anywhere
himself he has 10 ask permission from
each If them for the use of his own
ear"
The Yale expositor. (Yale, St. Clair County, Mich.) 1894-current, 1922-04-06
Seeing is Believing.

Gertrude-"Well anyway, Georges
dresses like n gentleman Glare
Indeed never saw him dressing"