The New York herald., 1922-06-18

Examples of witty repartees are fur
nished In large numbers by courts OF
law. whether high or low. some of the
best being reported from the legal do
main in Ireland. It was there. for In
stance. that n certain Judge Of the High
Court in byGone days refused to enter
of a case over Good Friday. Certainly
not. Mr.. Blank. The better the day the
better the deed" said his Lordship.
thinking he had disposed OF the matter.
WELL my Lord" replied counsel. "aii
can say is that you'll be the first Judge
to sit on 01od friday since the time Of
Ponti,is Plate"
Two farmers IN the west of Ireland
had dispute over some land. The case
came into the High Court. The presid-
ing Judge tried to throw oil on the
troubled waters. and addressing the
plaintin when In the witness box he
said: This n trivial case. Why not
settle II? You men have got to be
neiehbors ali your lives. Now. sup
pose that. apart from this trespass. you
consider the defendant q very decent
MANI" The piaintiff scratched his head
and iiesitAtinsiy said: ''weli. he Il. sir.
but he sometinses gets as drunk a. .
Judge" You mean a. drunk al lord"
remarked the president Of the court.
Yes, my Lord." was the unlocked for
answer.
John Phiipot Curran. a member Of tho
old irish House Of Commons. q distin-
guished barrister, and afterward Mas
ter Of the Rolls. has been called 'the
high priest of repartee." and so incisive
that he was feared and respected by
both Judge and witness.
One Of the Irish Judges, Fitsgibbon
by name, never attempted to hide his
detestation Of Curran. and took many
opportunities OF displaying It. Now. this
particular judge had fnastih dog that
had been trained to sit beside him IN
court. and on a certain day. when Cur
ran was arguing a case Of considerable
Importance his Lordship gave every ap-
pearance Of not attending to what was
being said and. as it were to accentu-
ate his contempt, he turned to the dog
and audibly addressed some remarks to
him. Curran at once stopped. go
on. sir" said the Judge. II beg your
pardon" answered Curran. II thought
your Lordships we're In consultation"
At q later period. when this same
judge had become Lord Chancellor. CurA
ran was arguing before him. when he
was interrupted IN one Of his arguments
by this cutting remark! "Mr. Curran, II
that is law. may burn my law books"
''Oh, no. my Lord" replied Curran; bet
ter read them"
On another occasion a vain and some
what pomp6us barrister. the disarrange-
ment Of whose headgear had caused
some rnerriment In court, addressed the
wit: DO you see anything ridiculous In
my wig, Curran?" Nothing except
your head, SIR" was the response.
There Is, however, one instance where
Curran was absolutely knocked out in
the very kind OF contest in which he had
himself scored SO many triumphs. Dur
Ing an angry debate, in the College
Green Parliament House Curran ex-
claimed in tone OF lofty pride: II am
the guardian Of my own honor" But
Sir Boyle Roche. with the rapidity OF
lightning. retorted: II thought the right
honorable gentleman didn't believe In
sinecures."
Before leaving Curran and going on
to other exponents Of the artless art
may perhaps mention one very charac-
teristic touch Of his on an occasion when
he was asked to contribute a tfihe to
pay for the funeral expenses of an Inn
poverished attorney who had just died.
How much do you want?" he said.
''Ten shillings." they answered. What J
said Curran. bury an attorney for ten
shiliings? Here's sovereign bury two
In somewhat similar circumstances.
at later day. Douglas Jerrdld was ap-
pealed to by a friend on behalf OF an
other. Three and two noughts would
put him on his feet again." said the
friend. Put me down for one OF the
noughts;" replied the wit.
Perhaps one of the most deadly re-
plies ever made to an impertinent OBJ
servation was the following. About the
end of the eighteenth century John Par
sons was travelling by coach In the
company Of Lord Norbury. then popu-
larry known as the hanging judge
and happening to pass gibbet Nor
bury, with q chuckle, said to his fellow
traveller: Parsons. where would you be
now II that gallows had Its due?"