The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1921-12-07
ADVICE TO THE
 LOVELORN
By BEATRICE FAIRFAX,

What is the final test of love?" asks George A. How can I be sure that really care for the girl of whom I'm thinking seriously. She attracts me. We're congenial. I admire her character and her personality. She stir.s me and appeals to me. Yet I'm don't want to make a mistake, since that would mean misery for us both. Isn't there some one thing which would give me definite proof that right to try to make her care?"
 "A proof of love ?".. In fairy
 tale days knights were sent on strange quests and far journeys to at other knights in jousts and tour
 neys. They went abroad seeking some talisnan to convince their lady
 of their love. But always they seem
 ed, somehow, sure of themselves.
 l wonder if their certainty wasn't ito quote the words of my friend
 Maude-"because they took their love
 like religion, a little on trust' Our deepest and most abiding faith
 is because of what we feel in our souls, not because of what we have
 seen with our eyes. If we could not
 trust some part of our belief to our instincts, we should stagger blindly
 through a. world un-illumined by the beauty of faith.
 So most of our deepest. and most
 beautiful feelings exist because of something that is beyond evidence and without actual proof from our everyday senses.
 Love has to take itself a little on
 faith. It has to trust something to the beauty and passions of life itself. It must have the simple confidence which makes childhood repose such implicit confidence in its leaders and guides.
 Lasting love must be of mind and spirit as well as of body. Now, no one can be assured that a. al1nrinp will not be marred and disfigured the next And a love which is of the flesh only, can be repelled as easily as attracted.
 But age and suffering and experi-
 ence make the spirit grow. The mind comes into it's heritage of boise and charm and depth through the turmoil and struggle of existence. So a love which is based on men tai congeniaHty has ever more to
 draw on as age comes to disfigure | the outer shell perhaps. but to refine | the mind dwelling within. And the spirit grows through the vicissitudes and trials and the tri-
 urnpis of the mind. So again love will grow with the passing of time and the enduring of pain Does this sound as of I'd forgotten
 to answer Georges question? am answering it by suggesting | that you cannot be sure of love! You cal only be sure that your | feelings will grow as your heart and | iiiIllo grow our dQIn1TaLfOn ana re- spect for the heart and mind of an | other will grow too if she is worthy. So if you find in your love noth-
 ing but hot-headed youthful desire
 you can be sure of nothing-but tlna1 1 flowers Sicken and die.
 But if you find that you have a | background of admiration and con-
 geniality, if you discover that tender
 ness and understa nding and mental | joy are part of yourefeeltng, you're on | the right track.
 Real love can only be hidden by 1 selfish fear of the price for yield l ing. Real love must be unselfish | self-sacrificing, gentle. loyal and | tender. And it is hard to be all these l things in a self-seeking and individu- alaStic world. Therefore we fear love | and its demands. But if we're will | ing to give ourselves freely anad gen. | erously-then indeed we know true l love.