Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1921-02-25

defy the cOnveu-
lions, and get relief the best way he
ram.
II can understand just how it has
worried YOU" said the hOtelkeeper
"1he fact that you couldn't reach
around and claw the itching place
with your fingers kept the matter
fresh in your memory and got on your
nerves. The pursuit of the unattan-
Rble always is more interesting to us
than the easier work. close to hand.
You had your whole person to scratch,
and might have bought a currycOmb
Tor quarter and had good time, but
Rop couldn't be happy until you had
,eached the one inaccessible spot.
"a while ago ] imagined I had
leart disease and went and saw the
iOctOr. He knows I have money in
he bank, and am considered good pay,
20 he confirmed my worst fears, and
made up his mind to have me for his
tar patient, until one of us petered
nut. He threw an awful scare into me.
10 that I went home sweating ice cold
ircus lemonade.
"He gave me some medicines and a
OF Of instructions. Among them was
me to the effect that when / went to
led I should always sleep on my right
ide. He cautioned me over and over
gain against laying on my left side.
ND left the impression that if [ dis
rbeyed shim I'd wake up some morn
ng to find myself a candidate for a
lOral horseshoe.
"That matter looked easy at the
imp, and / assured the doctor I'd fol-
Ow his bylaws to the letter. When
went to bed that night, / stretched
nut on my right side, and in ten min
ties | was just suffering to roll over.
4 don't believe I ever had such
',ankering for anything. It seemed to
ne the height of human happiness
you'd lie in sleeping on ones left side.
followed instructions for two nights,
nd then / decided that life wasn't
sOrth such sacrifices, and rolled over
md slept on my left side, and nothing
happened. I was feeling better than
iSual next morning when got up.
"Of course this experience lessened
ny confidence in the doctors instruc-
ions, and | concluded that if | was
going to sidestep the instructions
night as we'll sidestep the medicines,
too, for they tasted like low life in
Chinese alley, and I threw the whole
lot out of the window. Thus the saw
bones lost his most promising patient
because he handed out a rule that
wasn't strictly necessary.
Speaking of the unattainable, do
you know what's the matter with Silas
Furhelow? He has everything a man
rOuld ask, stranger in the town
would say. He has beautiful home
ana q wife who would be considered a
success anywhere, and he has festOOns
Of money where it will do the most
good.
"Yet he has a secret sorrow. /
think he's the most melancholy man |
ever saw, and his trouble is that he
rant raise a good stand of whiskers.
Nowadays, when whiskers are cOnsid-
FRED an infirmity, it seems strange
that any man should grieve over such
matter
"He sends all over the United
States for hair growers, and half the
time his face is blistered or swollen
and still the whiskers won't grow or
him. If some miracle happened, AND
ne woke up some morning to find his
r0untenance all covered with whiskers
ned probably have them shaved of
within a week; but because they won't
grow, ne won't be happy till he gets
them"