The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-10-09
rockingham
Fibbs
On Kissing
x<T SEE by the papers," said Mr..
Frothingham Phibbs. ouite

Amanda Phibbs, that a Boston
scientist says fervent kisses served
hot on the griddle are the safest
and immune from germs"
"Ha! Hal" chuckled Mrs.
Phibbs like a woodchuck at work
on his favorite pastime of wood
chucking. AT that rate ought
to be very sickly woman. Your
kisses stopped being of the fervent
variety when bustles went out Of
fashion"
well. II they did, then It's not
been altogether my fault" piped
Phibbs. 81 did my best to keep
the bloom on our little romance"
"All can say is that you made a
bloomer of the job. However. ]
suppose ! shouldn't complain. Mar
rage is only an incident in a mans
life anyway"
"Incident?" asked Frothy, who
saw an opportunity to squeeze In
wise crack. Don't you mean an
accident?"
mo, an accident is something
unexpected" enlightened Mrs.
Phibbs with sarcasm, like a
woman buying an exclusive hat
model, only to discover later that
the only thing exclusive about it is
the price. But as far as you're con-
cerned. I've still got some of the
love letters you wrote me two years
before ever thought l would con-
sent to marry you. Why. I'll never
forget the one in which you said
that unless I married you You
would commit suicide"
well. why didn't you let me
carry out my threat?" Mr.. Phibbs
shot at her triumphantly.
"Why? Because If I did you'd !
probably make a bum job of It and |
I'd have to nurse you back to
health again. 50 I chose marrying |
you as the lesser of two evils"
rockingham Phibbs dug his nose
I'd the newspaper again to escape
further discussion and there en-
sued several seconds Of silence.
And I see here, too" Mr.. Phibbs
broke the void, where a reformer
states that three-foot kiss in the
movies is quite sufficient"
IF it's between man. and wife
should think It would be unnatural
II 1t were longer than that" chirped
the missus.
mo, this edict holds for lovers
as WE'LL" Phibbs explained unmind-
full Of his wife's comment as a man
is Of his BARRIERS babble. "This re-
former contends that kissing is an
evil and is injurious to the morals
Of the young. Well, I'll admit that
it's an evil, alright, for It usually
leads to marriage. but I can't see
how 1t can influence the young"
Perhaps he means the young
sapheads that write fervent love
letters" Mrs. Phibbs countered.
you know that when a girls kisses
60 to q mans head he sits right
down and writes her a nice, long
love letter"
Eyes, and writing nice, long lovo
letters is like writing ones own
death knell."
"only In your case" the missus
said with light humor. you can't
say that didn't tell you sol"
"Yeh," sibilated Phibbs, your
sense Of humor is like one Of the
lost arts, only 1t hasn't got enough
sense to stay LOST"
There came a sharp rap at the
door at this moment and Mrs.
Phibbs admitted the next door
neighbor, Mrs. Phyllis Green, who
wasn't half as green as her name.
"oh, have you heard the latest
newsH' she asked in a high voice
that reached the ceiling.
."Has Babe Ruth broken another
record?" asked Mr.. Phibbs, quite
who forgot for the
nonce that he was addressing the
next door neighbor and not his
wife.
why. no." Mrs. Green replied.
II don't even know who this baby
Ruth is, but II she was my kid and
broke any photograph records I'd
put them out Of her reach!"
Mr.. Phibbs had a good laugh
while Mrs. Phibbs and Mrs. Green
gave him the kind OF look that II
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