Omaha daily bee., 1921-04-10
By ED STREETER.
Clothes Make the Man Seem What
He Isn't.


back from the city, where she's been
huyin' herself some clothes. ! been
married Is years come June an |
don't understand that woman's
dressin' to this day.. She always
claims she amt got rag to her
name, but | got to keep my Sunday
suit under the bed cause therss no
room fer to hang it in the closet. !
can pass remarks on her family, in
suit her cookin' an belittle her brain
power, but the only sure way to
raise rumpus is to say somcthin
again her clothes. Yet she spends
half her time abusin' EN- herser.
ofen wonder who invented 'em
in the first place. Accordin' to his
terry one of your ansistcrs wrapped
a bear skin round him one night an,
bein' an unusual bright chap fer
them times, discovered it KEEP him
warmer than his own. After folks
had laughed at him fer awhile they
begun sneakin' out to kill themselves
a suit like it. An bimeby the man
who didn't own one was skin flint.
1t seems that way out on the edge
OF the town there was shiftless
sort of cuss that was too lazy to go
out an choke bear fer his wife.
She KEEP pesterin' him though, an
naggin' him about havin' to wear the
same old thing she was born in year
in an year out till he got sick Of it.
so one night when he found a
Woody Haired Mastoid lyin' beside
the road dyin' he waited till 1t was
finished an brought the skin home
with him.
How Style Started.
Instead Of bein' pleased she took
on somethin' awful She says none
Of the other women was wearln
Woody Haired Mastoids an they'd
think she was cheap. Besides which
he never had no taste anyhow. 1T
bein' a cold winter. though. she
slipped it on an did her shoppin'
after dark. Then one day she ran
into her neighbor, Mrs. Callahan,
who lived in the cave downstairs.
"My dear" says Mrs. Callahan, FIN
GERM the goods, where did you get
"Oh. it's nothin'," says she. mod.
est. dust an old Woody Haired
Mastoid I'm wearin' out round the
cave"
But the trouble had been started.
M. Callahan marches straight home
to where her husband is ingaged
with a cold chisel an a hammer
writin' new novel. =,
"Tis a pity" says she you would
nj get me a dress like Mrs. McFees s
don't disturb my train OF
thought" says he, dottin' an with
might blow. ,.
But she keeps It up till ne gets
into a tantrum an breakin' up the
first chapter into convenient sizes
goes out to kill her the makin's with
i.
That was the day that styles COM
menced. An they've KEEP on conf
mencin' ever since without ever
seemin' to get much of anywheres.
Fer a long time man tried to keep
up the pace. 1t used to be a ques-
ton if you'd wear your pink suit
down to business, or if quies.
orange with dash OF lace round
| the bottom of the trousers wouldn I
90 better. Then come the invention
OF ink, tobacco an axel grease: an
thew had to give up compet,n.
After centuries Of deception man
laid his makeup on the table.
"Here / am" says he. Just as
thew made me. Now you know that
nv ears is like mud guards, my head
lis shaped like a coconut. an my no
bic brow gave the fellow that IN
vented the billiard ball his idear,
Take me or leave me" :,
| They took him, an le found ne Il
cut his expense in half
| It was a sad blow to toyalty. UP
to then, the kings had been dom a
|nice business lettin' folks touch the
hem Of their dressin' gowns as a, sure
| cure Nfer the Kings Evil, rrickly
heat an other complaints. But when
folks saw them mountin'' the throne
! with derby on one ear! an Mesrin'
1 ready made suit clothes, baggy
at the knees, they thought better OF
Il am went home an mixed their
selves a little bicarbonate OF -sody
instead.
Clothes Disguise the Man.
Don't ever let anybody tell you
that clothes make the man. They
onIy hide the fact that he IS one