davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1921-10-18

A cat in the house is worth two
on the fence.
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1921-10-18

"Say limb tor. Leg, advises 9
Rosf6 81 paper. siow sB6Tes boot
1imbers?'
The West Virginian. [volume] (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1914-1974, 1921-10-18

You can't travel far on a lame
excuse.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-03-23
WHY SPECIFY wARRENTrE?

Before any further progress is made in the
matter of street paving this spring we would
like to ask why the aldermen specifically desig-
nate warrenite as the material to be used where
new work is to be done. If any paving material
is to be favored in this city one would naturally
think it would be asphalt seeing what the Bar
Der Asphalt Paving Company is doing for Perth
Amboy at the present time.
The fact that asphalt is manufactured here
that hundreds of our citizens are employed in
the industry, and especially at the present time
when an enormous new plant is being erected
by this concern within the city limits creating
business for local houses as well as furnishing
employment, one would think the city would
do all in its power to encourage such an indus
try.
Everything else being equal, why not give
preference to asphalt if any preference Is to be
given? We have already mentioned the fact that
the city of Newark, in planning its paving cam
paign for this year, involving the expenditure OF
several million dollars. has declared in favor OF
granite block for commercial streets carrying
heavy traffic, and asphalt for residential streets.
But why should Perth Amboy make any dis
elimination at all? There is nothing to prove
that warrenite is such a superior paving mate
rial When advertising for bids why not ask
for figures on other materials as well, especially
asphalt. both sheet and block. which Is some
what similar to warrenite? Then there Is all
concrete which is coming into great favor tor a
,avinp surface at the present time, why not get
Tho benefit OF concrete competition?
warrenite, the material mentioned IN the pay
ing ordinances passed Monday night is the proo-
net of the patent pavement interests II lhe
aldermen are wise they will place themselves
above all suspicion by throwing the bidding open
TO all concerns.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-03-23

SON to be charged with the duty of enforcing the
law. ~
IL there is any body of men who should be
above suspicion it is the members Of the police
force. The aldermen cannot be too strict in this
regard. A patrolman's character ought to be
such that no one would dare make such accu-
satOns as were brought against the man Just
dismissed. 1t is not so much whether the officer
was guilty in this one particular instance as the
fact that he could be associated with such a
crime at all.
For the morale of the men on the police force
as well as for the reputation of the department
and the good lame of the city, no man against
whom even the finger Of suspicion can be point
ed should be allowed to wear the uniform.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-03-23
RIPPING RHYMES
By Walt Mason.
KEEPING BUSY

When attending to my spinning.
or whatever tasks are mine. I don't
see my neighbors SHINING sup
pose they're acting fine, While !
fumigate my chickens or repair the
kitchen fiue, folks may act up like
the dickens. I don't notice what they
do. oh. I'm singing angel-throated.
as l tinker in the rain and my
thoughts are all devoted to my la
hors safe and sane. So I do not
hear tho scandals that are flying
through the town and / do not meet
the yandals who would wreck some
fair renown. Ard I miss the vicious
stories that the gossips weave all
day, for / hoe my morning giories
in the good old fashioned way.
Busy people do not pc Idle tales that
stir up human strife: busy people
do not NEEDLE with the dirty dregs
of life: they are thinking of achieve
ment, of the toll that makes a hit,
and they know their bereavement
when the darkness makes them
quit. Idiers spend thei- time in
venting tales that makes old Satan
grin, they're the sleuthhounds that
are scenting every trail that hints
of sin; and the wholesome lads are
sweating as the golden moments fit,
only worrying and fretting when the
darkness makes them quit.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-03-23
INVESTIGATING THE WAR.

There are two kinds of war investigations
ona consists Of political attempts to discredit
tho achievements of the people who won the
war Those are the words of Charles g. Dawes
former chief of supply for the American army IN
France.
The other kind is the sort of war investiga'ioh
that does some good-thorough, impartial non
ort,san. without consideration for pull power
prestige. party or politics.
The right kind Of investigation ought 10 ans
close ali the( mistakes we made in the prosecu-
tion Of the war. Knowing them we may aVolo
them If we ever have another war.
our every weak spot in the war machinery
should be uncovered. and the moral pointed out
The good workman goes over his job AFTER ne
gets through looking for his errors. II ne oidht
do that, his next job would be no better done.
IT has been charged that during the late war
corruption clouded our path to victory serious
" bampering the endeavors of those who did
the fighting and the dying. If this is true 1t
should be laid bare. the guilty punished and
barriers erected against any repetition.
Such an honest Investigation will not be a po-
Itlcal attempt to discredit the war winners.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-03-23

This question has rarely, II ever,
been asked. There was no official
investigation al the time, and SUBJ
sequent generations have come to
the matter with opinions already
formed. No one was ever indicted
in any court for this blacklist of
the worlds crimes. Who murdered
Jesus Christ?
First of course. the four soldiers
who nailed him to the cross. But
they were acting under orders. For
give them; they know not what
they do" said Jesus. And next,
the mob, that cried, Cruelty Him."
What they did should be. a warm
ing in all ages against the intoxi-
cation, the madness. of mob-psy-
chology; but the crimA of the mob
was not the chief sin. Who were
the men higher up?
The first is Judas, who for sordid
lust of gold, and perhaps for some
other sc betrayed the Lord.
The next was Plate who gave the
official decree. knowing that he was
~Econsenting to an unjust decision.
and vainly trying TO wash the guilt
of it from his hands. IF you let
this man go thou art not Caesars
friend" cried the mob. PLATE con-
sented to the murder of Jesus for
fear Of losing his job. 1t was the
cowardice of politics that moved him
The next was Caiaphas. the high
priest. HE that delivered me to
thee hath the greater SIM" said Je-
sus to PLATE. The sin of the priest
was greater than the sin of the poll
itician. i.
The next is Herod. PLATE, In his
Intellectual attempt to shift respon-
sibility, sent Jesus to Herod. Herod
had no real jurisdiction. but was
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-03-23
WHO MURDERED CHRISTI
BY DR.. W. e. BARTON

fpleased with Pilates recognition.
From that day these two guilty men
were friends. If Herod, who had
already murdered John the Baptist.
had tried, he could have saved
Jesus. He could have sent Him
back to PLATE with this message:
Il thank you for your courtesy.
and wish. indeed, that this case
came under my Jurisdiction. for /
would gladly release this prisoner.
And now, since you have done me
the honor of sending Him to me,
hear me, hear me, Q Plate. and
count this the word of a friend.
Spare his life, and save yourself
such remorse as I feel. Out of a
Troubled spirit do I send this mes
sage; for / murdered this mans
friend to please a wanton woman,
and have no hour of peace since
then"
dias and Salome, pleading for the
release of Jesus. would have been
glad of that pretext: and would
have saved Jesus. But Herod was
vexed because Jesus would not per-
form to crafty Herod, and sent
Him back to Plate and to death.
When we consider these matters,
we see how thoroughly modern
were all the motives that murdered
Jesus Christ. Lust for money,
greed, of political power, religion
considered as an end and not as a
means to Righteousness and readi-
ness to evade unpleasant RESPONSE
bility-these very common and or
binary motives comprised the
worlds greatest tragedy,
The solemn lesson of It all is that
these are not the sins of exception
ally wicked men, but of those whom
} we know and meet every day.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-03-23

@. Just what territory does the
Near East consist of, as regards
the Relief that we have sent?-J.
w. C. i.
A. During the calendar year of
1e19 the Near East Relief conduct
ed activities in the following areas
of the Near East: Constantinopie
and the adjoining territory in Euro
pean Turkey. Anatoiias Armenia.
Cilicia Kurdistan, Syria Palestine
(for American refugees only, Mes
opotamia, Persia, Trans-Caucasia
tRussia), including the Armenian
Republic. Georgia and Azerbaidjan.
@. Can members resign from the
English House of Commons?-A.
NJ.
A. Technically this is not done. A
member wishing to resign, asks for
the stewardship of Chiltern Hun
drcds. Having been appointed to
this post, he soon resigns. The
legality has been disputed, but
numerous presidents have estab-
lished 1t.
@. How tall is General Pershing
and how much does he weigh?-N.
3. H. .
A. General Pershing is exactly s
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-03-23

feet tall and weighs zoo pounds.
@. Can airplanes wireless to sub
marines that are under water?-G.
c..
A. The Air Service says that an
airplane can send a wireless to a
submerged submarine.
a Z. r pa n write any 'p'F@s'
A. George Frederick Handel was
famed particularly for oratorios OF
these he wrote 81, but he also wrote
40 operas. 80 concertos, for various
Instruments. many anthems and
several cantatas.
O. How are time balls in differ
ent cities operated?-H. F.
A. BY arrangement with a tele-
graph company all the time balls
are at a given moment just before
noon, thrown into the same %electri-
cal circuit with a relay that Is con-
trolled by the mean time block at
the Naval Observatory. Exactly at
noon the clock, by ear of a COM
petent mechanism, closes the circuit
which acts through electromagnetic
to release the suspended time balls.
@. In playing no trump at 500
must one follow suit or may he play
joker at will?-M. A. w.
A. In five hundred, the person
holding the joker cannot trump
with 1t as long as he can follow suit,
but when he has non of the suit led
he can trump with the poker. if he
likes.
@. Kindly give me a formula for
1ypaper.-L. l.. T.
A. Flypaper that is non-poison-
Gus a be prepared as follows:
| Make a mixture of 1 DIR. or ground
pepper. l DIR. brown sugar; 2 fluid
DIR, of milk or cream. Saturate abb
sorbent paper with the mixture and
set it on a plate with a little water
where it will attract flies.
@. What arrangement do coun-
tries have with each other regarding
patents?-E. K. E.
A. The United States Patent Of
flee says that the International Bu-
reau for the Protection of Industrial
Property which has it's headquarters
at Berne, Switzerland has a MEM
bership in most countries of the
world. 1t is the ruling of, this or
ganization that all foreign countries
must file a patent within IL months
from the date the original patent
IL filed In the original country
where the inventor has taken out
the patent.
Q. Is there a tiger shark ?-F. r.
v.
A. The tiger shark is the largest
fiercest, and most formidable of the
West Indian sharks. This fish is
brown in color, and covered when
young with small dark spots. These
! spots disappear with age.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-03-23

AS a rule a young husband doesn't begin to
think seriously of matrimony, until the first
baby comes along.
After they have been married ten years or so
it surprises Friend Wife that Friend Husband
doesn't make more mistakes than he does.
Every man is popular with somebody, even II
it is merely with himself.
Not two women in each hundred are built after
the model they would have selected If they had
had "a choice
THE fellow who lets well enough alone has his
uses. He makes the way easier for the fellow
who doesn't.
OF course, you know that you are entitled to
something better. But you can't understand
why the other fellow isn't satisfied with what
he has. t e -,
Some women have such grand ideas that Wen
bet they'll refuse to serve on a jury unless it's a
Grand Jury.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-03-23
ANSWERS TO QUESTIONS

Any reader can get the answer to
any question by writing The Perth
Amboy BSening News Information
Bureau. Frederic J. Haskin, Direc
tor, Washington. D.. c. This ofer
applies strictly to Information. The
bureau cannot give advice on legal,
medical and financial troubles. 1t
does not attempt to settle domestic
troubles, nor to undertake exhaus-
tive research on any subject Write
you. question plainly and briefly.
Give full name and address and en-
close two cents in stamps for return
postage. All replies are E direct
to the inquirer.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-03-23
THE PROPER COURSE.
E5sy

The action of the majority in the Board of
Aldermen in dismissing from the police force
an officer against whom serious charges had
been made will give general satisfaction through
out the city. The evidence submitte against
this patrolman was sufficient to convince five
Of the aldermen that this man was not a tit per-
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-03-23

He surely is a tiresome mutt,
I'd often like to battle him;
1 often try to shake him, but,
Why, l can't even rattle him.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-03-23

I'd hate to live in Finland,
'Twould make me feel so Finnki;
But, if l lived in Finland,
I'd live in Ylakiiminki.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-03-23
Ooofi

She tends the locks upon the dam,
He tries not to offend her,
For fear she'll fire him off the job;
I In fact, he's too, dam tender.
Similar Goober
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-03-23
The Great Sorrow.

The small boy bawled all day, bless Pat.
And far into the night;
He owns a cowardly cur dog that
Will not stand up and fight.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-03-23
chicken.

Chicken is the most accommodating food
what is" remarked Mr.. Rastus White, as he
gnawed on a leg.
"How Gomez" asked Miss Lilly Black. as she
polished off a wing.
You kin eat dem befo' dey Is born, ana 70
kin eat dem after dey is daid," explained Mr..
White.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-03-23
Fact.

ut is a fact" said Mr.. Bins,
Not known to every youth,
That when a man is arguing
He's careless with the truth.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-03-23

The Ku Klux Khan we're interested in are tbs
blamed clucks who eat their heads off and won
lay an egg. \
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-03-23
Gobs of Gloom!

Professor Humphrey announces that we are
drifting toward degeneracy. He SEE, SEE he:
are up to the minute in guarding the heredity of
our cattle, hogs horses, plants and chickens, but
we are back with the Pharaohs in protecting our
own heredity."
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-03-23
WelL. we Arc a "Pnstlst.,

We are to have Futurist music from now on,
according to Luigi Russolo. This music VIII De
.'organized noise and it will be-
ungraceful, dynamic and methbristo," whatever
that is. And it will be the music of those who
are not so old-fogyish as to be mere "Pastists.'
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-03-23

young Fullcellar seems to be awfully popu-
lar with the girls" said Smith. They all fight
to get invitations to his parties"
yes" replied Jones. His motto is: Say 1t
with Highballs.'"
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-03-23

The new Mammoth Cave In Kentucky was
empty, so the hordes of thirsty treasure-seeker
from forty-seven other states may as well turn
around and go home.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-03-23
Some Cow, Is Right!

Cad. in Mt. Sterling, KY, Exchange
FOR f full-blooded COW, giving milk.
three tons ST hay, a lot of chickens and several
stoves.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-03-23
NOthin' DOM!

Will Call and Will Die, both of Albany, AL
wants to take the medical course in the Nam
Is Names Club.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-03-23
Mhat no Yon Mako of This. Mn Dear WATSON

CAd. in Dallas, Texas, News.)
LOST-Suit case, Tuesday, on Preston road
containing old lady's clothing and watch OF 9
dying man; liberal reward.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-03-23

Dear Luke:

Dear Luke: When Miss Hall married MI
Mailman she didn't change her name. Sh
merely gained a 'man."-Charlotte, N. C..
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-03-23
BITS OF BYPLAY
BY Luke McLuke.
Copyright. 1920. by The Cincinnati Enquirer.
Goo-Bii

He's somewhere up beyond the sky,
Twas hard for us to part;
He ~bangedsthe gun to find out why
The bullent wouldn't start.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-03-23
He Knows An the GUS words,

what is your opinion of prohibition ?" asked
the Thin Man. .e 81
Am. let General Dawes say it," replied the
Eat Man.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-03-23

Royalty won't be missed in Germany whel
workers are sought to produce that reparatiol
fund.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-03-23

1t listens like a Fourth of July celebration
but, anyway, Horn & Cannon have a shoe store
in Gainesville, Texas. -
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-03-23
Help!

We do not often get ratified. But where th'
HEX are we gonna put Wood Glass, of Nowata
Okla.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-03-23
Names Is Names.
Our Daily Special

Alexander Howsyurehashki is a petty offic
in the British navy.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-03-23
Jmke McIuke Saws

Some Give According to Their Means-Sor
According to Their Meanness.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-09-12
'DR. CLAYTON TALKS .OF ALA. UNIVERSITY
Will Speak at Teachers lnsti- tute-Large Enrolment
 at University

You have a beautiful city here, and when I strolled through Wood- row Wilson park this morning I was glad to see not only that you have a shaft erected to the soldiers and sailors--but two others, one of which is set up to physician and the other to a school teacher"
 pr. P. P. Claxton, formerly United States commissioner of educatiol for a number of years, and now provost of the University of Alabama, was speaking.
 He Is here to attend the memorial services to pr. J. H. Phillips, arriv- ing yesterday morning from Tusca- loosa. He was for many years l close personal friend of Dr. Phil lips.
 Asked concerning his interest at the University at the present time. he said he was planning very far reaching programme that had for its basis broader education for the youth of the country. His s>effort, he said, is to build the university into the school system of Alabama and particularly into the economic life of the state.
 This years enrolment at the uni versiay, the doctor said was already 1.450 students-probably the larges. of that of any other state university in this section of the country. That means that the enrolment will prob ably be about 1900 this season. he said.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-09-12
TRAINED ANIMAL
 DISPLAYS WITH JOHN
 ROBINSON'S CIRCUS

In one of the trained animal dis plays with the John Robinson circus, which exhibits in Smith park satur- day, September IT, baby elephants. tiny ponies and big dogs give, 1t Is said, remarkable illustration of what can be accomplished by skill! and persistency in training dumc animals. These three dissimilar ami nal groups go through their clever stunts with the precision of soldiers on parade, and with an eagerness that suggests that they actually en- joy their work.
 This, however. is only one of many clever trained animals displays an- nounced for the John Robinson cir GUS. There are three herds of won derful performing elephants; ttere are funny little borros that buck un- der the weight of rider just like genuine Wild West bucking bton- chos; there are ponies that go spin- ming on whirling table like equine tops: there are monkeys that ride dogs, and dogs that ride ponies and balloons that. drive tiny Roman chariots drawn by swiftly speeding canines. and dogs that balance on their hind legs on swiftly swaying swings. and other exhibitions of trained animal intelligence to delight the youngsters and to interest the grownups.
 Circus day will be inaugurated with a new and novel two-mile street parade which is scheduled to leave the exhibition grounds anout 10 o'clock.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-09-12

The eighty-eighth annual session of the Birmingham Baptist sssocia- ton will begin Tuesday at the Ru- hama church. The report of the su- perintendent of missions, Dr. F, II, Harrington, will be feature of the day. His report will cover the mis- sion activities of the Baptists in the Birmingham district.
 Wednesday will be taken up with the report on w. NJ U.. the erection of hospitals and education and In the evening the report of the E. Y. r. L. hle3dquarters of the w. NJ. L.. will be removed from Baltimore to Birmingham. This branch of the service handles over $1o00, 900 am nually.
 Thursday morning, reports on or phans' homes and ministerial relief and annuities will take up the en- tire morning, after which the closing sermon will be delivered by Rev. J. T. McNew.
 During the past year number Of new churches have been built, city, wide revival campaign with the deep interest of the church as whole have helped to make quite a success full year. Dr. Harrington. as super intendent of missions has been in- strumental in forming a laymen's or ganization. Officers elected were: e: C.. D. Pollock, president; w. l. Pitt man, vice president, and II. l.. An derSon, secretary treasurer
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-09-12
STATUS OF FEDERAL AID FOR HIGHWAYS
State Highway Engineer Is Coming Here for Conference
 on Road Construction

In order to present the latest of- flcial information on the status of the federal aid for highway construc- tion In Alabama, State Highway En- gineer W. S. Kellar will come to Birmingham tomorrow for a confer . ence with the board of directors cf the Civic association. For several days a special committee of the as- sociation has been at work seeking the facts about the amount of fed eral aid accrued to Alabama and not being used and how long The state can afford to postpone actior matching dollar for dollar.
 It will be recalled that Governor Kilby postponed the call for an ex- tra session of the legislature, giv- ing as his reason that it was un- certain whether it would be the policy of the Congress to continue federal aid and that the aid money already accrued to Alabama under the old appropriation could be matched by the state as late as 1922. Therefore, he considered it unnecessary to hasten the extra ses- sion of the legislature.
 The renewed interest of the Civic association in the matter, according to President Hugh A. Locke, is caused by the anxiety of the members to stimulate every building activity possible to absorb the large list of unemployed. Every possibility for public works to be hastened when it is badly needed. such as durable roads, Is being exploited by the al sociation.