Evening star., 1921-10-09
Former Vice President Discusses
Some American Characteristics

immaturity, We change our games
ceaselessly. One winter we play
nothing but cards. and the next
, we do nothing but dance. card
clubs dissolve and dancing clubs
spring UP. Then all OF q sudden
every one tires of dancing, and
back we go to cards. And always.
reasons are advanced having to
do with the sober affairs OF life.
Much Of life is mere play. and 1t
will not detract from the pleasure
of it to admit the fact.
A finer thing than even this Amer
ican childhood is the atmosphere Of
conscious or unconscious humor
which surrounds it. We owe much
to this national sense of humor.
Our wise men have done some
thing for US: that is true. The
ponderous editorial satisfies or
disturbs according to our view
point and conduct. The prayers
and precepts Of our parents are
invaluable. But the God-given
ability to laugh at the real car
toon or at the imaginary cartoon
Of our fellow men has been the
saving grace which has wrought
for peace, quietude and good order
in society.
Now and then we run across a
man who is so serious-minded. SO
impressed constantly with the
idea that life is real. that he has no
time to grin as he goes along.
What the rest of us would say for
the sole purpose of fooling our
selves he says seriously. He has
a never-ending desire to weigh
every one in the balance. To him the
one immutable fact in all time is
statistics. He gathers them upon
every supposable fact and theory
and under every condition. He col
lects, collates and digests them.
and when put in columns they
sIraighlWay prove something.
One of my classmates was for
many years in the document room
OF the House of Representatives
He was a statistician of purest ray
serene. When he married a rich
widow and resigned, permanently
quitting public life, said to him:
I'VE will lose much by your ceas-
ing to make statistics" Much is
right" he replied. For many years
] have made from the same figures
statistics for republicans to show
the imperative necessity of high
protective tariff and for democrats
to disclose the enormity of the
protective system"
+ X X X
A new species of statistical
game is now being played. 1t was
started by Mr.. Edison with his
queries, from the answers to which
he deduced that the average col
lege graduate was wholly unin-
telligent, thereby taking his place
alongside Of Horace Greeley, who
is reputed to have said: From all
horned animals. deliver me from
the college graduate" With seri-
out intent all sorts of men and
societies are sending out series OF
questions to be answered by per-
sons in all walks of life. I have
received no fewer than half
dozen lists the last few days. 1t
would not have taken me more
than a week to answer any one Of
them, but I tore them all up.
would cheerfully have given the
time, but l was sure my answers
would disclose that was one OF
Americas ignorants-a fact not
new to me, but I did not propose
to give the data Of proof to any
one else. It is better to force the
other fellow to prove your ie-
norance than to admit it.
only "A per cent of the 1880
students in schools and colleges
scattered over the country gave
correct answers to questions on
current events. So ridiculous
were some answers that I am in
clined to think that they were
made jokingly in order to get even
for the extra labor imposed upon
the students. Sober-minded as I
am. it required somewhat of cour-
age of me not to answer some OF
the inquiries in q fantastic way.
Only recently I heard of a man
who went reverently to the grave
scribed in red chalk on the grave
stone: Babe Ruth knocked fifty
four home runs this year"
There are imperfections in the
school system of America, as
there are in all other human in
stitutfons, but they have not yet
reached that point where they are
fatal to our lives. our liberty or
our pursuit of happiness. Let
US be consoled with the thought
that information is not education.
am convinced that am a good
American and a perfectly respec-
table democrat. although I still
may be in doubt whether Senator
Lodge is Henry Cabot or Sir Oliver