The Elk Mountain pilot., 1921-02-03
TWENTY-FIVE BELOW zERO
At euNNIsON SUNDAY

oeapns 1Or IL was only 20 DelOW
zero, but then that is nothing for
Gunnison. While Montrose is en-
ioying summer weather, the mer-
curry persists in hanging out the
negative sign. Isn't that a de-
lightful location for big school
a railroad division headquarters,
ETC.? Wouldn't Montrose be a
whole lot nicer place?-Montrose
Press.
Great was the rejoicing in the city
of Montrose when on Sunday after
noon their high-school basket ball
quintet and Professor Ross were re-
stored to them practically untouched
after a most narrowing and precari-
Gus experience amid the icebergs,
bowling frigid winds. raging binding
billiards., and absolute zero tempera-
ture of Gunnison-
The boys had been lodged in the
arctic barracks at the Boys Club.
During the night their breath was
frozen into solid icicles extending
from their noses and oral cavities to
the ceiling and thence to the floor.
In fact when they tried to get out of
bed in the morning, they were obliged
to call upon the town marshall-an
Esquimo who drives a team of polar
bears around on his beat-to bring
axes and sledge hammers to break
through the almost solid barriers of
ice.
The boys hoped that they might
find unfrozen ice water or something
equally warm with which to thaw the
frozen spots on their faces, noses,
and ears, before it should be neces-
sary to GO To the train; but they were
unsuccessful-the water works were
-olidly congealcd. Al one old Indian
woman from Alaska rmarked. Him
no run till fly time"
Finally the boys got down to the
train without breaking- in spite of
trtir frozen and brittle condition.
There the surprise of surprises
awaited them! How had the slim
guage engine ever got down fiorr
Marshall Pass? The smoke was frozen
.'iff, an irregular yrimy column of
ice projecting from the frosty, glis-
tening smoke-stack. White projec-
tions of solid ice protruded from the
whistle. the exhaust valves, and other
openings in the locomotive. The lu-
bricating oil hung in icicles about
the wheels and other parts, and the
engineer whistled through his icy
whiskers the information that not
wheel or piston had turned since the
train left the top of the hill. The
whole thing had skidded the forty
odd miles since leaving the Pass. The
engineer then tried to expectorate to
rid himself of much-used quid of
tobacco; but the whole thing froze up
the minute he opened his mouth and
remained there like an ugly tumor.
The engineer could not swear, as the
words froze in his mouth. But he did
succeed in throwing his fireman into
huge tub of strong, thick brine.
This is the customary way of getting
the firemen thawed out so that, af-
ter the train has again slid down as
far as Cimarron. the fireman will be
timber enough to feed the engine
over Cerro Summit. and bring it he
roically to the balmy gates of the
earthly paradise, Montrose.
P. S. Professor Ross Ingorso,l
froze up on the trip, and it is feared
that it may never run again. This is
d great pity, as the professor-unusu-
ally wise in most things, even shrewd
had failed to take out polar insur-
ance before going to Gunnison.
p S. No. q Professor Beattie was
so terrified at the thoughts of the
possibility of change in climate
that might result in the extension pf
Gunnison temperatures to Montrose,
that he has resigned his position in
the Montrose County High School and
has sought greater security in the
mere remote city of Grand Junction.
P S No. 8. The Montrose boys said
they refrained from cursing as much
as usual in Gunnison, for fear the
ugly words would hover about their
youthful heads so'idified IN ghsteninp
ice as 81 embarrassi reminder that
there really were ladies' at the game
P. s. No. 4. The Gunnison County
High School Y. w. c. A. served ice
cream and frozen mints after the
game to warm the fellows up-these
are the hottest things in Gunnson
The dishes for these refreshments are
stood on edge in snow banks for six
hours-this warms them.
=. S. No. 5. The City If Gunnison
will hereafter discard the street
lights. The Aurora Borealis plays
around Tenderfoot Mountain all
night long.