Chicago eagle. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1889-19??, 1921-07-09
SHOWED HIM HOW
Mir. Brown Learned Something
From His Better Half.
of Course Her knowledge Was Not
Scientific but the Cork Came
Out of That Bottle.

Brown had been puttering around in
the bathroom for half hour, while
Mrs. Brown grew more and more ner-
vous. From experience she knew that
trouble was brewing when her lord and
master busted himself about the
house, and she was aware that he was
not taking bath in the middle of a
Sunday morning. Presently there came
crash of glass falling into the por-
celain tub, and Mrs. Brown was glad
that the children had not yet returned
from Sunday school.
What is the matter? Can l help
you, dear?" Mrs Brown called bright
ly. For reply Brown came into the
living room and stared at his better
half with an expression in which pa
tlent suffering, rage, mockery and sus-
plcion We're nicely blended. In his
hand, says the New York Sum- he held
bottle, empty, except for a cork that
had been pushed inside.
mo, you cannot help me-" he de-
clared bitterly when did you ever
help me? To satisfy your inordinate
curiosity l will say that l am get
ting the cork out of this bottle. and,
having the innate masculine qualities
of determination and inventiveness, l
will accomplish this seemingly impos-
sible task, and your little plan to an
+; noy me will fall through. Of course
l know that you deliberately pushed
i the cork down into this bottle, though
how you guessed that / would wish to
use this particular flask / haven't yet
| taken the trouble to figure out.
Il presume that even you know that
heat expands an article? Very we'll,
| then; all that is necessary is to heat
! the neck of this bottle until it expands
! and then shake out the cork Have
! you the frankness to admit that that
| would never have occurred to your"
| mo, | do not think that would have
occurred to me-" Mrs. Brown answered.
| you see, / am afraid that glass is diff
| ferent from metal in respect to re-
! spending to temperatures, and, be-
! sides, it seems to me that if you make
| the glass expand it will expand in
| ward as well as outward, and so real
| ly make the opening in the neck of
| the bottle smaller. Now, what I'd
| do would be to
| Never mind what you'd do" retort-
| ed Brown. You have sufficiently dem
| onstrated your ignorance for once.
| In a few minutes | will show you the
| happy results when scientific knOwl-
| edge and ingenuity go hand in hand"
| WhereupOn he stalked out to the
kitchen, and Mrs. Brown heard him
| lighting the gas stove. A few minutes
| later there was a howl of anguish from
! the kitchen.
| probably your idea is entirely
| scientific and all right" she soothed,
as she applied a cooling lotion to the
| thumb and finger that had incautious-
| ly grasped the hot bottle, "but, after
| all, it would be so much simpler to-
| -'Oh, l suppose you are going to pre-
| tend that you could get that cork out
without even trying" Brown snarled.
well, let me see you do it,"
| "Why, of course if you wish me to,
| DEAR" Mrs. Brown responded sweetly
She took a small but strong cord, tied
| a large knot IN the end, dropped the
| knot into the bottle, turned the bottle
upside down, and shook it a little un-
til the cork joggled down in to the
neck, the knot in the cord being be-
hind the cork. Then she gave the
cord a strong, steady pull, and the
cork came out with a plOp. 'It is
really easy, you see, dear" she said
mildly.