The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1921-01-17
ON SECOND THOUGHT
BIZ JAY =. HOUSE
fFron Philadsiphas Public Ledeas.l

The unwritten law which compeis
the father of a newborn baby to buy
cigars for his friends is an abuse as
yet untouched by reforming influence.
The father of a new baby should re-
ceive cigars instead of giving them.
There is some curiosity as to wheth-
err Bulgaria still maintains the rule Tor
merly in force of imposing a tax OF
$50 a year on all bachelors over thirty
years old. 1t was a form of taxation
popular with pretty nearly everybody,
the consensus of the bachelors OF al
worth it.
A man seldom grows so deaf he can't
hear the o'clock whistle.
Up to the time a man is married he
deyotes his life to making love. AFTER
he is married he spends his time de-
vising plans to prevent other men from
catching his jack.
The fact that the public can get
along without watchword is one OF
tho things which may be said to have
been successfully established.
The authorities are all in error as
to the relative values OF flush and
full house. The relative values OF a
flush and full house are determined
by the player who first DEVELOPS
lump in his thorax.
The smaller the town the more i'm
portant an egg with two yolks be-
comes.
There still is some criticism of Noah,
due to the fact that he took two Mexi-
can hairless dogs into the ark.
Some of the workingmen who de-
manded a six-hour day are now getting
it at the rate Of three days every week.
1t isn't the girl who grows indignant
when he tries to kiss her that a man
breads. 1t is the one who laughs as
she repulses him.
Another way to see war without
undergoing the privations is to move
to small town and attend the regular
monthly meeting OF the board of edu-
cation.
Probably the most persistent and
unsuccessful search is that prosecuted
in an endeavor to find a place where
they serve good coffee.
A good many of the fellows who
used to be particular about the tenn
perature of a martini have learned to
drink out of a bottle and no longer
consider it hardship to do so.
Take from the average man the be-
lief that the possession of money en-
ables a criminal to escape justice and
you will have robbed him of one of
the dearest of his possessions.
A few see the joke. but most OF the
laughter is inspired by n desire to be
polite and courteous at all costs.
The trouble with a political meet
ing is that. with few exceptions. only
those who have been converted attend
the services.
Tank Beverly. who is good deal of
a social lion in his set, says he doesn't
mind playing against q visiting man,
but he does hate to be compelled to
compete with a baby.
It is no reflection fon anybody to say
that had Ananias not won renown as
liar he would long ago have been
forgotten.
Probably the most difficult social
performance is that of being amusing
at the breakfact table; but there are
those who contend that the projection
of a clever remark thru an ear trum-
pet is an almost equally delicate feat
In the field of utilitarian endeavor
there are, OF COURSE, any HuuipeI u
equally difficult tasks. One of these is
matching an old coat with new pair
of trousers. Another is teaching a
calf to drink from pail. .
Buck Kilby, who recently returned
from the middle west, reports the dis
covery of a brand of home brew that
is as seductive as a woman's smile and
as fnsidious as a. small set OF threes.
If ball players wish to quit the game
this spring to go into business for
themselves, the feeling is there are
some who can be spared from it.
The feeling is that the endurance
contest this year will be won by the
Philadelphia man who is scheduled TO
Nstart next Monday on five months
hecture trip.
If you have lost anything, do not
fool away your money advertising for
it's return. Instead, look in the con-
stitution of Oklahoma for it. since