Every evening, Wilmington daily commercial., 1921-08-11
When You Are
"Not at Home"
Don't Hurt Anybody's Feelings
When You Give the Con.
vcnttonaI Excuse.
HN CERTAIN fashionable circles

TN CERTAIN fashionable circles
OF society, mot at home" is the
formula by which q maid is in
structed to indicate to callers that
the mistress is not receiving RE-
gardless OF whether or not she Is
actually away from home. Among
persons with whom thig is custom
airy, there is, we are told. no
falsehood in these words, eInce no
one is really deceived by them.
Those who favor thfs method as
sure US that II Il were not possible
for women sometimes TO be al
nome and be free from the in
trusfon OF callers, they would have
no time to read or 10 rest or 10
improve their time In any way.
Personally. except where thfs
slgnincance OF words not at
home" is distinctly understood,
and cannot possibly be mlsunder-
stood, ] am very much opposed 70
this practice. Real onense has
been taken more than once by
women not used 10 this usage
when they have called on a neigh
Dor to be told by the maid that
the mistress was not at home. "
only TO observe little while later
that very person descending from
her own front door. Perhaps the
truth Of the matter was that the
hostess in question was dressing
10 go out to keep an important
engagement, and TO have fingered
az nome 10 receive the caller
would have meant that she would
be late 10 her engagement. To
De sure. in a limited social circle
the customary thing for the maid
10 say under the circumstances
would have been: MRS. Smith &.
/ not in" But in almost every in
stance the kinder thing would
nave been for Mrs. Smith 10 have
hurried down stairs as soon ss she
could finish dressing and told her
caller that she was going out and
begged to be excused. In many
cases a daughter or sister OF the
hostess could have carried the
message down stair for the busy
hostess, and explained the gitus :
tion in such way that 90 Of
tense could have been taken
When begging to be excused in
a case Of this sort Il IS courteous
70 tell the caller of the hosfess's
day az home. Busy women nova
days often do have a day at home.
and in that way they manage TO
have many afternoons of leisure
for their friends take pains never
TO call save on the at-home dsvs.
IL is never customary for a
woman to send word to a caller
by servant that she "begs 70 be
excused" with some very definite
and valid excuse. However. when
the caller does not come socially
and there would obviously be no
advantage in granting an inter-
view IL Is perfectly good form to
send such a message. For in.
stance, when an agent comes and
asks 10 see the mistress OF fhs
house it IS quite proper to send
down that she Hbegs to be ex-
cused. Such a message should.
or course. be conveyed with
courtesy. III the agent has some
definite line Of goods to show and
the mistress IS sure that she does
not want 70 make any purchases.
she may send word that she begs
to be excused, as she feels quits
sure that she cannot be interested
in them"
Often of course callers coma on
various sorts of business errands.
Nowadays when women IN are
nome are almost as busy are men
IN ofices, II is more considerate
70 write beforehand or to teIe-
phone asking for a definite an
pointment for a business inter-
view. The same holds true when
the business relates to some spe-
cial charity in which the caller
and the hostess are both inter
ested. BY doing this one avoids
calling when 1t might not be con-
venient.