The Washington herald., 1921-04-06
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CHICAGO. April 5.-Westward
Ho! Entering Chicago is like one
of the Bowery after-dark melodra-
mas, Dingy shambles with wan
faces peering from windows dark
with smoke. My dog enlivened
things at the La Sale station by
getting a neckhold on an Airedale
in the check room. The honors were
sven. for the, Airedale nipped
chunk of cuticle out OF MS oppo-
nent's left hind leg.
At the Blackstone for breakfast
we were made at home by New
York waiter. who used to serve Us
during occasional visits at New
York restaurant. He has q wan
dering foot. when I'm In Chi' ne
explained, "I want to be in New
York. In New York 1t Is vice Ver-
sus'-and l assume he meant vice
versa.
Coming West I lost the upper sec
,ion Of a pair of initiated pajamas
that I had saved for auspicious mo-
ments. So l visited a haberdasher
ON Bour Mich and with breezy per-
suasiyeness he talked me into buy
ing a lonS-tailed night shirt because
he didn't have my size. / was
thankful had not lost my shoes or
7 would certainly be wearing the
mountainous toed affairs indigenous
to these parts.
NV wife also left in the Pullman
room a box containing many things
most important of which were my.
as Chicago would say, full dress
suit shirt studs" Altogether. our
Chicago sojourn was not pleasant
I was accused of biting my nails at
breakfast, which prompted me 10
say, I'm my own boss. and I'll do
as 1 please" or something snappy
like that.
It is my conviction that a trav-
| eler should have a suit Of clothes
with only one pocket. When / ap-
proach a check room ] begin to frisk
myself with the cunning of New
York pickpocket. The check Is in
| variably In the last pocket, and you
| pull IL out with a glad cry of "Eu-
| reka!" only to gaze into the bored
| countenance of an attendant. There
Is nothing you can do but grin a
silly grin.
Michigan Boulevard has more in
dividuality than any thoroughfare
in New York. To me it is as beau
tiful as Riverside Drive. But 1t
hasn't the nair of Fifth avenue. We
| saw Fay Banter and Willette Ker-
| shaw strolling along looking in the
shop windows and Al Woods as big
as life was puffing at the omnipres-
| ent cigar at the entrance to the An
| mex. He was chuckling over a
story he had just heard. Two yeggs
| were blowing a vault stocked with
hooch. One was drilling and the
other was holding a candle hard by.
Finally the candle was held toe
! close to the driller's face and he
was slightly scorched. The driller
suddenly jumped and said:
4 What the bloody ellis the matter
wit youse? Don't youse know how
to hold a candle?"
81 ought to know how to hold a
candle" was the complacent reply
T was an altar boy for six years"
Chicago has any number of long.
haired prophets-leaders of some
cult or other. One bareheaded an<
blind was led by q white fox ter.
rier. The dog waited at street cor.
ners for the proper trafic whistle
and when he reached the opposit,
curb would bark his thanks to tn.
traffic policeman. Another patriarcf
was Grating from soap box ant
looking at me he suddenly exciaim.
: ed that the world was coming to ar
end on the day was scheduled e
!, reach California. It will j,rst be m,
luck to have such. q thing happei
when ], am so far swsy from hom<
and hey.ll. probably nd me In "a,
slong-tsiIed night shirt