The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1921-04-04
lnsNg LIES r4AMs ANCIENT eNessv,
EyCOURAGEHENT.

For cleverness fain would show
Seems absent from my so-called mind.
And can only sit and blink
And blink and sit-but cannot think.
IT'S then l sadly wonder why
ever felt the Comic Urge;
heAve . deep and doleful sigh
And pray that might 'scape the scourge.
feel that all my power to jest
Has failed to pass the acid test.
The quips / wrote but yesterday
All fail today to make hit;
The wheeze built with spirits gay
Now seems devoid Of any wit;
Today l view odd bits Of verse
with vast disdain and muttered eds0A
There Is, think not one excuse
To write a colyum any more.
ask myself, What is the use?
The whole thing has been done before.
Is 1t not absolutely true
That there is nothing, NOTHING new"
But while my eyes are filled with tears
And when my frame with sobs is rent
Someone addresses me and cheers
My soul with this nne compliment:
Gosh! Half the time, I tell va fiat.
M don't know what you're driving at"
IT seems our prediction anent Carl o the
HApsburgs was'a fiivver. He has gone back to
Switzerland with the rest of the cheeses.
A Little Patch to Hold the Pair Together.
From the Port Byron uil.) Globe.I
A daughter was born to MIR. and Mrs
Herman Patch Friday morning She has
been named Laura Pearl Patch.
"A KISS given in public" writes Winifred
Black, lis only half a kiss. The very soul OF
q kiss demands quiet. silence. retirement"
II that, were all the soul Of a kiss demanded
this would be q sinless world.
IT is hard to write colyum with two vol
umes Of Gillilans verse at our elbow. He's .
good fellow; why shouldn't he help US out!
Besides, the following lines Ton the last page
Of including Finniein') we'll illustrate Our
present Tor absent) state of mind:
my PIPE is OUT.
! Hay Of the drained-out writer.1
MY pipe is out; the World-my 'baccy pouch
| Is fabby thanked and empty to the touch.
shake it till its lank sides sag and SLOUGH.
| Yet all it yields me doesn't count for much.
At length, its dustings settled in the bowl,
seek my matchbox chats my BRAIN to find
germ of genius blaze with which my soul
| May fire the fruits of groupings patient blind.
No match is there; the last one had struck
| To boil the pot Of hunger in my home
To kndle torches Of dissembled pluck
And guide some brothers footsteps as they
roam.
My pipe is out; puff at it in vain
No taste or warmth-no winking glow see!
Whence, then, the longed-for. solace for L.
pain
That's hooking at the helplessness of me?
| - STRICKLAND GILLIAN.
IF the 214-pound damsel Of New York who
ate 25 hard boiled eggs at one sitting the other
lday will drop around to our Office any Friday
afternoon she will not 60 away hungry. Wed
like to be rid of few h.-b. es.| that surround
Tour desk.
JUMPS From Death to Death."-clinton
Herald.
I Which -is@the superlative Of jumping from
bad to worse.
"ID taken, relates person in a pat med
ad, "a barrel of different kinds OF medicine and
Treatments during the past four years, but in
stead of improving py stomach kept get
Referred to Doc Brady for suitable com.
Iment.
ARTHUR BRISBANE, who writes what hi
really thinks when he can think Of it, tells Of
criminal who ended his troubles by drinking
o a large bottle of ink. What happens to thai
particular criminal isn't important" he says
l"But the new kind of suicide interests little
1boys that suck their pens when they write"
Arthur doesn't suck his pep, because h,
doesn't use one, but we suspect he often gnaw!
his dictaphone transmitter.
WANTED-To meet refined home-loving younf
lady or widow between % and 80, by lonely
almost stranger, with good home, car ant
income; bank and church reference. Ad
dress postofice Box l. conidentialy Civ
ign correct name and phone number
Quincy Wing Journal.
- What would win feminine compassion quick
or than a lonely almost stranger?
THERE is material for musical comedy il
the career of Everett Harding. 1t should b,
called "Warren's Cousin. Suggestion for
chorus
When pose az Warrens cousin,
| Why, fool em by the dozen
And I'm banqueted and feted by the bes
societee.
Al the greedy politicians
Come to me for soft positions
And l shake em for their shekels, take
straight from me!
E. r. demands she be cleared of our sof
impeachment that she was the author of a re
jected poem Of which we said some of tn
lines, metrically speaking are centipedes
She encloses an affidavit that she never ha
and never will write poem.
APRIL on TWENTIETH STREET,
What is this rare. rich scent Of spring
That gently waited breezes bring
| III,