davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1921-01-28

Nor visit Statesmen who are
called on to face great issues, nor
Merchant Princes whose fleets sail
many seas, nor Physicians whose
decisions mean life and death.
But go among the leaders Of the
Smart Set. Mingle with Men About
Town, correct dressers, diners out,
also door men, street car conductors,
ticket agents, office boys, subway
guards, ushers, walters, social secre-
taries. These know what they are
about. They know who's who and
what's what.
The fanatics and faddists also are
Certain.
Also young ministers.
Indeed, Certainty pertains to
Youth.
And the Younger the Certainer.
On an ocean liner you may leave
the salon, full of lights and laughter
and clear visions of well-dressed
people and step out upon the deck,
into the darkness of the night, and
you are face to face with the in
finite, that vast, enveloplng Some
thing, impenetrable and incompre-
hensible, that enfolds us all.
There is the heaving sea, dissolv-
ing mountains Of black water, over
flowing the horizons and there is
the sky, full Of shining globes, and
the weird winds, and Eternity.
Most people on the Ship Of Life
stay in the salon and do not care
to go out on the wild deck.
And perhaps it is just as well.
But the Captain and the Pilot
must Watch.
The Washington times., 1921-01-28
OLD PERUsAI,.

DOROTHY X. seems to have besa
the only one who caught the state
ment of II. Smith that with every
perusal OF II. and s. there Is the name
of a South American girl. Her name
In PERU-SAL.
The Washington times., 1921-01-28
Can you call snoring SHEET
music7 BOB WIRE
THE PRODUCT.

THE PRODUCT.
She had seven million dollars
In bonds, stocks, and rents;
He had 'leven million bones,
so they merged sentiments.
Now they've raised n son whose valUs
Is exactly THIRTY cents.
NJ. n. y,
Mike-whats your opinion of ths
"black and tans7"
Pat-without swcaringG
Mike-Yes.
Pat--Not a word.
TOM cULHANn
The Washington times., 1921-01-28
Some Enlargement.

Each separate photograph on n motion picture
film is under one square inch In size. This means
that when the picture In thrown on the screen,
aox22 feet in size, 10 10 magnified moro than
5000 timeA
The Washington times., 1921-01-28
Broom With Electric Light.

An inventor In Maryland has perfected a small
electric light to be attached to broom to light
I'D dark corners when his wife sweeps the floors.
The Washington times., 1921-01-28
Meaning of Gymnasium.

II pupils entered a gymnasium in their birth
attire the instructor would receive shock. All
the same, the word Gymnasium" is derived from
q Greek word meaning naked; for the old Grecian
athletes used to strip before exercises.
The Washington times., 1921-01-28
It Ought To Be.

A Chinese university has collected 17o varieties
Of silk worm eggs for in connection with a
course in agriculture, believed to be the most
complete collection ever made.
The Washington times., 1921-01-28

While Time is ringing down theI
curtain of your life, let yourI
laughter ring down the corridorsI
Of time. +. J. SCHWAB.
The Washington times., 1921-01-28
Taking Chinese Census.

The inhabitants of China are counted every
year in a curious manner. The oldest master of
every ten houses has to count the families and
house
The Washington times., 1921-01-28
Some Output.

One deposit Of iron ere recently discovered in
Switzerland has been estimated by biologists to
con tain 15 600, ,0Oe tons while another nearby is
believed to contain 22,O00,000 tons.
The Washington times., 1921-01-28

A Philadelphia woman dyna-
mited the house where her hus-
band had been losing heavily at
cards 'Tain't the first time a
wife has RAISED THE ROOF"
about her ole man gambling.
JULES BACK Elmer.
The Washington times., 1921-01-28
Do You Know Him?

when sit calmly without either
biushing, grinninp or clearing his throat while
tho toastmaster is introducing him, he may yet
be said to have poise.
The Washington times., 1921-01-28
THE GIRL nNAGRAMs.

The anagrams of the names of girls.
by M. A. R., was a little difficult.
but the solvers got the correct names,
which are: Annabelle, Esther. Ger
trude. Appilona, Margaret, Madeline,
Catherine, Antoinette, Loretta, and
Henrietta. Answers by H. SMITH,
AJAX" and "ITALKALOT."
The Washington times., 1921-01-28
Fifty-Fifty.

II Is a question whether II is any harder to
serve two masters than II is to master two
servants.
The Washington times., 1921-01-28
QUITE SUFFICIENT.

Surrounded by his happy family
of nine girls and seven boys he
waited nervously until the nurse
entered and told him IT was "an-
other girl" Then he quietly
turned the "Suffer Little Chill
dren" motto to the wall and went
out to think it over.
BILL & BUN.
My family consists Of papa,
daughter fQD and me. And yet
we have to buy two copies Of Tho
Times every day 80 as to reduce
the scrapping over who is to read
H and s first. We may have to
buy three. MOTHER.
The Washington times., 1921-01-28
Hit and Miss.

when a woman emphasizes how much she
misses her husband II may only signify that she
has tried to throw the crockery at him.
The Washington times., 1921-01-28
A butcher can't veal calf
but once--it takes short skirts
and roll-tops to REVEAL 'em.
HARPER'S FERRY.
DOWN IN OLD GEORGIA.

J. s. BRANHAM, sales manager o
]. e. HANGAR, Inc, gives this as &
sample of replies being received by
creditors down in Georgia:
receive your letter about
what / owes you,
Now be pashent, I amt fo.get
you and as soon as folks pay me,
I'll pay you, but IL this was judg-
ment day and you was no more
prepared to meet your God than
/ am to meet your account. then
YOU sho is going to hell.
The Washington times., 1921-01-28

w. d. PAYNE and II. r. ROSSELL
had no difficulty in finding that one
word which will become shorter if
syallabIe Is added to 1t Is SHORT.
Add "er" and 1t becomes SHORTER-
Problem by II. ID. 3.
Likewise. says friend Payne, SMALL
b.comes smaller when the same syl-
liable Is added,
The Washington times., 1921-01-28
Modern Revision.

Some men are born economical, others acquire
economical habits but the majority of us have
economy forced down our throats.
The Washington times., 1921-01-28

"Arc you n doctor" she asked the
soda fountain dispenser.
NOM" he answered. I'm
oxzIocian.- PHILOSOPHER.
The Washington times., 1921-01-28

Heaven must be a poor
place with no marrying or
giving In marriage and no
hopes Of alimony.
The Washington times., 1921-01-28

AS Eve didn't realize her
nakedness until Adam gave her
the apple. isn't 1t about time to
pass the apples again
VENUS,
The Washington times., 1921-01-28

Seems about ,fty-flfty.
The Four Hundred have
been married about Four
Million times. Most OF the
society women are up
against the problem OF
either marrying strangers
or looking up their frst
hubrys' number In the tele-
phone book.
The Washington times., 1921-01-28
EASILY ADJUSTED.

See here. Foley" said the street
car inspector to the new conductor.
"you have ten passengers and only
nine fares rung up"
Foley, looking around There's
wan too many of yez in this cyar. Git
out Of here, wan OF yez."
SON OF REST.
The Washington times., 1921-01-28
British Government CensOrs
EurOpean NelUs for Us

war from which every dictate of
self-interest and good sense coun-
seled that we keep ourselves aloof.
1t is something more than coin
oidence that every notorious pro-
British organ of publicity which had
part in getting America to hand
over its treasury and its army and
its fleet to British uses during the
war should now be engaged in en-
deavoring to persuade the American
people that they ought not to build
navy big enough and strong enough
to equal the British navy. Because,
whenever you strip all these pleas
and arguments for a cessation of
navy construction of their lies and
sentimental disguises, you will find
that the purpose at the bottom is to
stop American navy construction
at a time when the British navy
is double the strength of our own
many.
Now, then, we are as ready as any
one else for a reduction of national
armaments and for the cessation of
naval construction, provided either
that England will first reduce her
naval armament to a parity with
ours, or that we first build up our
navy until it is as big and strong
as that of England. To make an
agreement with England and Japan
that we will now stop naval con-
struction if they do, is simply to
agree that England and Japan can
continue to maintain napies which,
if united against us, would out
number our ships and guns three
to one.
The man who advocates such a
policy as that may think he is a
humanitarian. But he is really a
fool. He may think he is a patri-
otic American. But he is not.
Surely we have had enough les
sons to teach us what European and
Asiatic diplomacy really is-what
a faithless, treacherous, greedy and
unscrupulous thing it is at every
stage of the game. Surely the past
two years of greedy quarreling and
trickery and thieving and aggression
ought to show any man with an
ounca Of brains that Our Onlv safety
in the future is to be so strong upon
the seas that no Power and no COM
bination of Powers can cross those
seas to attack us. This truth has
been so terribly written in letters
of fire and blood upon the very sky
itself, as it were-so terribly and so
clearly written that it would seem
that the wayfarying man, though
fool, might read it as he ran.
The Washington times., 1921-01-28

Mrs. +. l.. REESE has formed 152
words--the record-from the letters
in the word Washington" Another
contrib, TAR HEEL" gets 101 words.
Baby, baby, don't get IN a fury
Hother's gone to SIT on a jury.
JUST ~
The Washington times., 1921-01-28
111EARl,n55EErf
APPROPRIATE NAMES.

APPROPRIATE NAMES.
l. A farmers wife-TILLY.
2. A furniture deaiers-soFY
a. A fisher dealers-NETTIE.
T. A fat mans wife-LEANER.
g. A letter carriers-CARR1E
s. An auctioneer's wife-BIDDY.
Z. A shoemaker's wife~pEGGn .,,rs
&c. O. c. for the Grand Old Col
umn, and &c. o. o. F." for the
Grand Order OF Fans, are o. K. but
where would we be without G. o. B..
Grand Old Bill?
JOE CONKLlN.
who rules the house and all Within
Who often needs a sarety pin!
who makes you glad he's not twin!
who causes you to look silly and grin
THE BABY. M. b. r.
Yours unsuffragetted," signs c.
]. MENASCO, in q letter. Bout right
he is.
Dear Bill: 1 love poor girl
who doesn't care so much for
me. A rich and beautiful girl Is
dead in love with me. Which
one shall ] marry? JEFF.
Marry the girl you love and
send the address of the other to
II and for the information OF
male fans. She won't be single
long)
GEORGE B. GIDDINGS, Berwyn,
Md, says he thinks If he can break
into the H and s League he can bat
800. Get out your bats.
The Washington times., 1921-01-28

An old time WILDLY would
at least work up some kind
of q below even IL she had
to rehearse a little. But
now, when Abe is being
freighted out to the pas
ture, Patricia Is filling up
the wrinkles on her neck
with putty and dolling up
. in red and green like N
Marry Christmas.
The Washington times., 1921-01-28
THE PENALTY.

THE PENALTY.
.'Mamma, did you ever flirt when
you were youngT
I'm afraid 1 did. dear.
Were you ever punished for TIT
Yes, dear, married your father.
NEBRASKA.
The Washington times., 1921-01-28

They used to wear black
for six months, Now they
yank the crepe eff the door
SO fast they bust the hinges
on the vestibule. II II
weren't for the sales at the
cemetery gates, the Matri-
monial News would step out
of business.
The Washington times., 1921-01-28

But don't figure that
Stephen loses any split sec
onds ordering a pair Of
spats and rainbow tie. He
swipes a flower from EN-
mas wreath and sticks II
in his buttonhole.
The Washington times., 1921-01-28

The old time short en-
Eagements and the long
marriages arc out like the
galley stoves in tho Ger
man fleet. With the green
mark from her last we'd
ding ring still warm on her
finger, a woman will scam
per up the aisle with a man
whose last wife is learning
her first bit of gossip about
her angel neighbors.
Five minutes seem to be
longer than a Ford's ago
for a sorrowing husband to
chuckle about poor Minnie
And Minnie's salty tears
over dear Oscar would
sweeten anybody's coffee.
The Washington times., 1921-01-28
| Mr.. B. Baer
HERE COMES THE BRIDE
AGAIN.

Instead Of fighting for
Italy, D'Annunzio has de-
cided to get married again
and fight for himself. This
IL Nunzi's third or fourth
hobble up the aisle. Jour
neys end in sweethearts
meetings and Nunzi always
has his mileage book out.
The Washington times., 1921-01-28

married. Again.
Sweet Sixteen in society
means the number of d.
vorces. They paper the
room with 'em on Fifth ave-
nue.. Miss VANDERBILT, the
charming daughter of the
ffth Mrs. VANDERBILT. will
get her divorce diploma to-
day and make her debut in
society tomorrow.
All the folks at Newport
seem to be looking for their
exit papers. They take a
lawyer on the honeymoon.
Alimony is the best life in
surance.
The Washington times., 1921-01-28

Lot of folks are being
married. Again.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1921-09-23
(Ofdcial Publication.
REPORT OF THE CONDITION
OF THE
BANK OF WABENC

located at Wabeno, State of Wisconsin,
at the close Of business on the 9th day
of Sept. 1921, pursuant to call by
the Commissioner of Banking
ECOTrRNEC
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1921-09-23
MONEY FOR HIGHWAY
CONSTRUCTION AND
MAINTENANCE.

There is rather general misunder-
standing as to the source from which
the state secures the large sums re-
quired for highway construction and
maintenance.
In general way it may be said
that the money used for construction
comes from three sources in approx
mately equal amounts one third from
the Federal Government, one-third
from the State and one-third from the
County.
In the final apportionment of Federal
aid granted prior to the present sess-
ion of Congress, Wisconsin has re-
ceived 81, 0O6, 0l751. The state in order
to secure this has had to provide the
same sum. This joint Federal and
State fund is apportioned to the coun-
ties on this basis: One-third in proport-
ion to area, one-third in proportion to
assessed valuation, and one third in
proportion TO highway mileage. Then
each county is required to provide an
amount at least equal to one-half the
sum apportioned it from the joint Fed
eral and State Fund.
/ The State in order to meet the re-
quirement to duplicate the Federal
appropriation provided for tax that
would bring in at the first of each of
three years 1920, 1921 and 1922 the
sum of 81, ZOO, 600 In addition to this
the sum of $7s5, 900 for each of the
three years, and the additional sum of
500, 900 per year for those years were
appropriated from the general fund of
the state.
In addition to the sums named there
is used in highway construction and
maintenance something over SO 900. 900
per year received for automobile licen-
ses. Since the legislature in 1919 pro-
vided for duplication of the Federal
appropriations, to be used in construct
ion in the states share of the. auto
license receipts has been devoted to
road maintenance. The license re-
ceipts are disposed of as follows:
First the actual cost of administer
ing automobile registration is paid
from the license fees received one
fourth OF the remainder is then paid to
the counties in the proportion that the
license fees received from each county
bears to the total liceuse fees. From
the remaining three fourths, there is
first set aside sum not to exceed
$l6S,00O for the State Highway Com
mission to pay the costs of admins
tration. The balance then 10 used by
the State Commission for construction
or maintenance, or both, of the State
Trunk Highway System.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1921-09-23

who think a parSnip frltter is the uiSh
of excellence. To prepare the fritters
the vegetable is cooked, then skinned
and mashed very fine, seasoned well
and a teaspoonful Of the mashed pars-
nip dipped into a fritter batter, then
fried in deep fat. These fritters are
usually served with some kind OF
sweet sauce like hot maple syrup.
Cheese souffle.-Prepare thick
white sauce using One-fOurth cupful
each of flour and fat with one cupful
of milk; when cooked and thick, cool
and add one-half cupful Of grated
cheese, three egg yolks, one teaspoon
full of salt, one-half teaspoonful OF
paprika, one-half teaspoonful of onion
juice. Mix carefully and fold in the
stif1y beaten whites Of three eggs.
Turn into well-greased baking dish
and set this dish into a pan Of hot
water; bake in a moderate oven I'M
til firm in the center.
Oysters 4 Ia PouIet.-Prepare a
poulet sauce by adding one and one
fourth cupfuls of milk to six table
spoonfuls Of flour, stirring and mixing
well before cooking, then cool slightly
and add two well-beaten eggs. Take
one pint Of oysters, toss in pan until
the edges curl, then drain and add to
one-half cupful of mushrooms, or the
same amount of. celery cut in small
pieces. one chopped pimento, one hard
cooked egg also chopped, two table,
spoonfuls Of melted butter seasoned
with salt and pepper, and serve In
croustades, made by cutting bread in
to oblongs and following out the Gen.
ters: then brush with butter and
brown in the oven or toast under the
gas flame. Decorate the tops with
minced parsley.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1921-09-23
HUSBANDS STORY WILL
AMAZE WABENO

He says: Adler-i-ka helped my wife
for gas on the stomach and sour stom-
ach in TWENTY MINUTES. It works
beyond greatest expectations. Adler
i-ka acts on BOTH upper and lower
bowel removing foul matter which pois-
oned stomach. Brings out all gasses and
sour, decaying food EXCELLENT for
chronic constipation. Guards against
appendicitis. Adler-i-ka removes mat
ter you never thought was in your sys-
tenn and which may have been poison
ing you for months. Tenley's Drug Store
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1921-09-23
LOCAL AND PERSONAL

For hunting license see ]. E. Him
ley.
Mrs. John Cox returned home Mon
day.
The Hinzman family motored to An.
tigo Sunday.
N. w. Johnson of Laona was in
town on business Monday.
For Sale: Good COW. Inquire of Mrs
Melvin Parrette, Wabeno.
Miss Dorothy Kobin spent the week
end at her home in Brandon.
Judge Forrest of Padus transacted
business in town last Friday.
E. G. Gerl, one of Newald's leading
business men, was in town last Friday
Geo Marshall and T.. D. Tucker Of
Carter were in the village last Friday
Russell Collins of Carter was bust
ness caller in town one day last week.
Albert ellis of Oconto Fall, deputy
oil inspector, was business caller
here Friday.
Mr.. and Mrs. F. V. Newton of Fond
du Lac arrived Saturday on visit to
the La Rock home.
Tanlac, the remarkable remedy that
every body is talking about, is sold
by M. O. Boehm.
WANTED: Family washing, clean
ing and pressing. Will call for and de-
liver if desired. VIM. Chilson, Wabeno.
August Iwen, cashier for the Jones
Lumber Co, left Saturday to join his
wife on a visit at Marshfield and other
places.
Tanlac is splendid tonic and sys-
tenn puri fier, now selling at the rate
of almost Ten Million bottles year
M O. Boehm
Sunday Oct. End the Lutherm
Church will hold it's quarterly bust
ness meeting Immediately after the
close of services.
Get rid of that nervous, frstful feel
ing. Brace up. Take Tanlac and look
every body in the face wild smile.
Sold at NJ. o. Boehm.
Art Winslow, who has been employed
as Waterman north of Laona for the
Jones Lumber Co. the past few months,
returned home last week.
M. 7. Garfield of Amigo, the hustl-
ing district manager of the Old Line
Life Insurance Co., was here on bust
ness mission a few days last week.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1921-09-23
FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER %, 1927
Circuit Court Calendar

State of Wisconsin vs.. Frank Ham
ann, issuing worthless check.
State VS.. Anton Salala, assault.
Ssate VS.. John JasdzswsHi, unlawful
sale of intoxicating liquor.
State vs.. Roy Blandheim, issuing
worthless check.
State VS.. Frank Forest dina Ferdi-
nand Gromfeldt, burglary.
State VS.. Frank Jakzesky, incest.
State us. Carl Phillips, burglary.
State us. willis Lesperance and
French Yaeger, robbery.
Stake vs. Lawrence Lespeiance and
Chalmers Yaeger, burglary.
State VS.. Ferdinanp Grmfeldto and
Emmett sullivan burglary.
The jury cases are:
Albert Klus vs. Walentz Cihonski.
Warren Zimmerman vs.. Anners l..
Mordt.
]. N. Cook VS.. GeorgeGill.
E. Hemenway VS.. Tipler-
Lumber Company.
Joseph Burger VS.. Casper minton.
Fact for court cases:
Cable Compsuy VS., s. R. Van Bnss
sem, ct al.
Lucy Helberg VS.. VIM. Hslbsrg.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1921-09-23
sEAsoNABLE GOOD THINGS.

This is the time of year when pars-
nips are at their best. Some like them
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1921-09-23

There is more Catarrh in this section
Of the country than all other diseases
put together, and for years it was sup
posed to be incurable. Doctors prescribed
local remedies, and by constantly falling
to cure with local treatment. pronounced
it incurable Catarrh is local disease,
greatly Influenced by constitutional con-
ditions and therefore requires constitu-
tional treatment. Halls Catarrh Medi-
cine. manufactured by F. ]. Cheney &
Co., Toledo, Ohio, is constitutional
remedy, is taken internally and acts
thru the Blood on the Mucous Surfaces
OF the System. One Hundred Dollars re-
ward is offered for any case that Hairs
Catarrh Medicine fails to cure. Send for
circulars and testimonials.
F. J. CHENEY & CO, Toledo, Onio.
Sold by Druggists, 75c.
Halls Family Pills for constipation.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1921-09-23

cooked with vege-
tables in a boiled
di n er; others
like them cooked
tender, ut in
halves lengthwise
and fried brown
in good fat, while
there are others
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1921-09-23

County of Forest. So.
/, Ross Richardson, cashier of
the above named bank do solemnly
swear, that the foregoing statement is
true to the best of my knowledge and
belief.
Ross RICHARDSON, Cashier
Correct. Attest: M. j. Dickinson, SD.
Switzer, Directors.
(Notarial SeaD
Subscribed and sworn to before me
this 10th. day of Sept. 1921.
j. E. HIMLEY, Notary Public
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1921-09-23
AUTO REGISTRATION
IN STATE IS RECORD

Elmer S. Hall, secretary of state, an
nounces that up to date 1862 pleas
ure cars have been licenced in Wisoon-
sin besides 2o,760 trucks and 2,112
dealers. This is said to be the largest
registration of automobiles ever made
in the state.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1921-09-23
a Kldt gS;HE
(0 1921. Western Newspaper Union.)

When earth's last picture is busted,
And the floors are painted and dried;
When the Oldest carpet is beaten,
And the youngest spider has died,
We shall rest and faith we shall
need it;
Lie down for a. moment or two,
Till the dust on the grand piano
Shall set us to work anew.
With apologies to Kipling.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1921-09-23

PRESBYTERIAN. Regular services
every Sunday 1920 a. m. and 7:3O. p. m.
Sunday School at 9:25 a. m. The public
is invited.
L. B. SHERWIN, B. D., Pastor.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1921-09-23
GO TO CHURCH SUNDAY
TRINITY EY. LUTHERAN:

English services at ten o'clock Sun
day Sept. 25th. Sunday School at
eleven o'clock.
Sunday morning Oct. 9TH Holy Com
union will be celebrated in tue Eng
lish languages
REV. VIM. r. HUH, Pastor.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1921-09-23

Wisconsin will have the fifth largest
yield among the states of potatoes this
year, according to reports from the
agricultural department at Washing
ton.
Northern Wisconsin advertiser. [volume] (Wabeno, Wis.) 1898-1925, 1921-09-23

ST. AMBROSE. Mass every Sun.
] day at and 1915 clock. Baptism at
1870. Sunday school at 2. Benediction
at 3.
FATHER A. L. BUYTAERT, Pastor.
Głos polek., 1921-12-22
Ego GRUDNIA, (DECEMBER) 1921

" ~ n % ;.s r. nd. No. s;a u. a:s: .a:.,