The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1921-06-18
ON SECOND THOUGHT
By JAY E. HOUSE
(From Philadelphia Public Ledger.)

When we first saw q newspaper pic
ture of Mr.. Roy A. Haynes. new pro-
hibition enforcement commissioner,
we said to Adelaide: SWell, he looks
like prohibition enforcement oI1lcer
all right" Mr.. Haynes objection to
the quips and jests at the expense OF
prob ibition confirms our worst. sus-
picions and increases our self-esteem-
Altho we are now two years distant
from the aqua pura belt, we still can
pick 'enl at glance.
PaIpabIy the only way to stop those
who kid" the Volstead act is to make
it an offense to do SO. We, therefore,
suggest that the law be amended to
make quips, jests and deprecatory re-
marks at its expense punishable by
fine and Imprisonment, or both. We
further suggest that in the case of
habitual offenders these penalties be
imposed:
Musical-comedy comedians, a year
in the penitentiary and a fine not ex-
ceeding $1,000 for each offense.
Vaudeville comedians, six months in
Jail and a fine not exceeding 5000 for
each offense.
After-dinner speakers, three months
in Jail and a fine not exceeding $3.50.
Ehhu Root (Mr. Root in a public
address recently cracked a joke at the
expense of prohibition). for a repeti-
ton of the offense, two years in Sing
Sing.
Ex-bartenders, $40 and costs.
College students. $50 and thirty days
! in Jail.
.Plain citizens, a fine of $50, or six
months at hard labor.
| Meanwhile, we offer the opinion
that when the Volstead act finally is
enforced, If it ever is, it will be when
the task falls to the hands of some
plain. unimaginative citizen who re-
CARDS the enforcement of the law as
part of the days work and not as a
sacred rite.
An Admirable Suggestion.
Sir-"On Second Thought" even
date, incurs the displeasare of one
IF. r. H." who takes exception to-ehe
continual mentioning of Dempsey's
fighting record in the late war. I am
a careful follower of the column, but
| evidently overlooked any record OF
Dempsey's fighting you may have
mentioned. Won't IF. r. H" kindly
give US the record of Mr.. Dempsey's
fighting? b. d. H.
Space is yours to command "F. R
H" Do go ahead and tell us abou
Mr.. Dempsey's war.
This country has been insultet
again. this time by James H. Thomas
British labor delegate. Mr.. Thoma
said that inasmuch as Great Britain
had failed to settle the Irish question
in q thousand years, 1t would be pre-
sumptueus on the part of this countr.
to attempt to do it.
Mr.. Thomas didn't say the Irisl
tquestion is none of this country's bust
ness, but his conceit apparently i
such he probably thinks it isn't.
We are the most credulous of per
sons. We believe implicitly the stor
that Mr.. Stillman's friendship TO
Florence Leeds was purely Platonic
/, What other interest could a marie,
gentleman have in a single lady?
The Deceiving ScoundreI.
Sir-As Adelaide continues to- i'm
prove in her driving she will increas
ingly resent your show of apparen
concern as you sit beside her. If sh
expresses her resentment vocally, yo,
may find a diplomatic comeback har'
| to locate. Try this one. Unde
similar conditions a friend of mine re
piled: 'I have a world of confidenc
in you, honey. but I'm always worrie'
i about what the driver of the other ca
may do" A. r. w.
Unfortunately. it is our own driving
and not Adel3ide's that will be OIL
trial. A woman has implicit conf
dence in her SON. her grandson, he
father her uncle, her nephew or he
neighbor. But you can't make he
believe her husband can do it.
A number of the columns contrib
utors labor under the impression tina
we wish to jest of, bathing suits anC
are fecund of suggestions along tina
line. We don't know how the stor!
got started, but we never wrote a quiz
about a bathing suit in our life anC
have no intention of doing so.
Considered either as humor or en-