davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Ocala banner., 1921-08-19

A mob of whales is called a school.
A school of worship is called a con-
gregation Pittsburg Telegram.
$50
Two Ways Of Getting Up
When we tumble out of the right side
of bed,
How bright the sun shines overhead!
How good our breakfast tastes and
oh!
How happily to school we go!
And DER the day what peace is shed
When we tumble out of the right side
of bed
When we tumble out the wrong side
of bed,
How dark the sky frowns overhead!
How dull our lessons, how cross our
mothers,
How perfectly horrid our sisters and
brothers!
And they all say, too, it's our fault
instead!
When we tumble out the wrong side
of bed!
The Outlook.
Who Wins
It isn't the boy who catches on quick
ly,
Who stands at the end, the best test,
1t isn't the boy who runs well a short
distance,
Who reaches the goal fore the rest;
1t isn't the boy who learns the first
i pages,
And let's the last paragraphs go,
Who stands at the head of his class
/ through the session
1t is rather the boy who is slow,
Yet who patiently masters the topics
before him,
Not daunted, though sorely perplexed,
Who's determined to see the first
principle clearly,
Before going on to the next!
It isn't the boy who shines most, let
/ me tell you,
OF whom twill be said, He has won,'
'Tis the boy who allows not a thing
to deter him
Who sticks to a thing till 'tis done.
Albert F. Caldwell
/ He: "There'll be lot of disap-
pointed girls when marry
She: For Heavens sake! How
many do you expect to marry?'-
American Legion Weekly.
English Unindentifed
You say this man 'beaned' your
Yes, your honor"
What do, you mean by that?''
"He hit me Son the koko, your honor,
he tried to crack me nut, slammed
me on de belfrey, he :.
will someone please interpret for
the plaintiff?''
Il will, your honor, said an oblig-
ing witness. He means. the accused
bounced rock on his ivory dome. -
Birmingham Age-Herald.
**s
The bashful petty officer wasN on
leave and was having hard time MAX
ing conversation.
i Il suppose you've been in the navy
SO long you're. accustomed thorough
ly to sealegs,' she suggested.
Il wasn't lookin' at 'em at ALL he
blurted, blushing American Legion
Weekly.
friends" apologized the minister,
Il have unintentionally left my notes
at home. will make few extern
poraneous remarks, trusting to the
Lord for guidance. But tonight shall
come better prepared"
What sort of time is your friend
having on his motor tour?''
Great! I've had only two letters
from him-one from a police station
and the other from a hospital. The
Bulletin Sydney.
At the Circus
A duck and frog and skunk, SO
they say,
Started to town for circus, one day:
The frog and the duck paid the price
and went in,
Bue the skunk he went home without
seeing thing!
The frog had greenback, and SO was
in luck,
The Ocala banner., 1921-08-19

er, 1T is as tender as woman's
heart"
Gimme a pound of sausage" order
ed the customer hastily.
The BIooey Blues
Whats thishyere blue law these
reformers are tryin' to put over on
thishyere town.. inquired Roarin'
Pete of Black Powder Andy, both Of
Holster, Arizona.
They're tryin' ter limit a feller
ter carryin' Jest two guns, but they're
gonna have dizzy time enforcin' it."
A private lay wounded, victim of
shrapnel. His sergeant, in an at
tempt at consolation, leaned over him
and said:
Get well, old man, and can get
you fixed up for Croix de Guerre.' .
The bucks eyes cleaned as he
whispered back:
"A quart of what, sergeant?''
$50
i've been sitting up with a sick
friend" explained hubby with brilli-
ant originality at a. m.
What made him sick" asked wiley
sarcastically was he losing?"
s**
The customer at the secondhand
clothing store was far from being
satisfied, but, on the insistence of the
proprietor that everything was all
right. finally consented to take the
suit.
I'm not at all sure yet that I've
a fit" he complained.
| You just 60 home and take look
at yourself in the glass;" rejoined
the proprietor, pocketing the money,
"and you'll have one all right"
In HappyIand
First Flea Been on vacation?'
Second Flea No, on tramp. -"
The Sun Dodger.
$50
| A proud young father telegraphed
! the news of his happiness to his broth
er in these words "A handsome boy
has come to my house to be your
nephew
| The brother, however. failed to see
/ the point and wired back: Il have
not got nephew. The young man is
an impostor."
Seeing the Editor
4 us this the editor?'' inquired Mr..
Titmouse at the Offices of the West
ern Breeze.
1T is" responded that dignity.
Didn't this paper say | was a
liar?'
1T did not
/ Didn't it say / was a scoundrel?'
1T did not"
Well, some paper said it."
| Possibly it was our contemporary
down the street." suggested the edi-
tor, as he picked up paper weight.
This paper never prints stale news" !"
The Pathfinder.
What are you drawing, Jim?''
Why, dog.' But where's its tail?''
"oh, that's still in the ink bottle!'
&ss
What serious face she has!,
"Uhwell, you could hardly expect
her to enjoy such a face as that"
$50
Restaurant Slang
Mutton broth in hurry says the
customer. "Baabaa in the rain! Make
him run!. shouts the waiter.
"Beefsteak and onions" says the
lcustomer. John Bull! Make him a
ginnyl" shouts the waiter.
Where's my baked potatoes?' asks
q customer. Mrs. Murphy in seal
skin coat!" shouts the waiter.
Two fried eggs. Don't fry 'em
too hard" says customer. Adam
and Eve in the garden! Leave their
eyes open" shouts the waiter.
"Poached eggs on toast" says the
customer. Bride and groom on a
raft in the middle Of the ocean,.
shouts the waiter.
Chicken croquets," says the Gus
toner. Fowl ball!' shouts the wait
Ter.
HASH" says the customer. Gen
tleman wants to take chance!"'
shouts the waiter.
I'll have hash, too,' says the next
customer. Another sport!'' shouts
the waiter
Glass Of milk says customer
Let il. rain" shouts the waiter.
'Frankfurters and sauerkraut, good
Ir.~&
The Ocala banner., 1921-08-19

Growth
IN membership
and volume Of
lorida Citrus Exchan8|
One Of the satisfying Developments tothe growers who
been very substantial growth OF the Florida Citrus
Exchange
Five years ago the Florida Citrus Exchange, then
citrus crop Of Florida The preceding period marked the
experimental stage of its Development
@ Last season the Florida Citrus Exchange handled
slightly than three cent OF the carload ship
mens from the state according to governmental compla-
t0ns Of Florida's total citrus movement
Fsrther tie season marked a ~eD epoch IN the at-
fairs Of the growers cooperative orgasiaation from
other stGadpon-tk0t of the acknowledged acceptance
Of tie IDEAS AID Ideals on sOAich it foaaded By inf
ena the cvas industry throughout the state
Polk County was the cradle Of the cooperative move
ment in Florida Naturally Polk County has been
Polk County crop last season fell short of that of the pre-
vous year Despite this, the Florida Citrus Exchange
made substantial gain total Shipments because its vol
ume from territory outside of Polk County increased twen
ty-fve per cent over that Of the previous year.
Polk County's loyalty to the cooperative movement
has not tagged but Polk County longer enjoys keener
appreciation of the benefits of cooperative marketing than
do other progressive sections of the citrus The East
Coast the West Coast and Central Florida join in 10y
ally supporting the growers marketing organization,
which returns directly to the producers the proceeds IF the
sale Of their fruit less only the actual of selling with
out dollar Of profit deducted for speculative purposes
But for the organized effort of groscers
prise the membership of the Florida Citrus Exchange
woud haze spelled absolute disaster
producers Of Florida It is peculiarly fitting the E1
change should hnve been giuen the of confidence
ceived during that form largest
bership and hrgest Douae of total shipments its
to date The c0sing further
pcnsiOn IN the membership of the Florido Citrus E1
change, and increase IN the total Uole shipmens hdw
died byH
That which is good endures The Florida Citrus Elk
change is now approaching the time when its shipments
will include more than half the citrus crop of Florida Only
an unWllngness to expand too fast ndisposion to
hazard efficient operation by suddenly assuming great
burden IS postponng that time. Then will begin new
era IN the business affairs and prosperity of the OF
citrus fruits IN Florida Growers who wish hasten the
coming OF this desirable condition should take
TO become affiliated with the Florida Citrus Exchange
J Exchange OF write manager Of Floida
Citrus Exchange - S r
9yfN1272A "
The Ocala banner., 1921-08-19

saturday
II pounds Of 81
dollar 5 worth q 4S~ N
Saturday and M91n4<7' @'1I
Corner Main ana -
sss cures ! coz
The Ocala banner., 1921-08-19

playing?
Less BrainsA piano y'bub!
woMAlN
When Eve brought woe to all man
kind
Old Adam called her woman;
But when she wooed with love SO
kind,
He then pronounced her woman.
But now, with folly aiad with pride,
Their husbands pockets trimming,
The women are so fulls of whims,
That men pronounce them wimmen.
PAINFUL
What's the matter, qld toDa you look
I've just undergone something Sc
rious'
Appendicitis 2,
Worse than thatt I had my tele-l
phone taken OUT Telephone News. /
80 - .3as sf -s $50 81 . a a
The Ocala banner., 1921-08-19

Cause of appendicitis
lower bowels or Inffee intestine Becomes
The Ocala banner., 1921-08-19

Our Language
a flock Of ships is called feet.
A fleet of ships is called flock.
q flock Of girls is called bevy.
A bevy Of wolves is called pack
A pack Of thieves is called a gang
A gang Of angels is called a host.
{ a host Of porpoise is called a school
a shoal Of buffalo is called herd.
A herd Of children is called q troup.
A troup of partridges is called a
covey.
a coyey Of beauties is called a gal.
axy.
a salxy d r1lnns il called horde.
The Ocala banner., 1921-08-19

EvERYwEAR silk HOSIERY
At FIsHEL 81 s-l53at
The Ocala banner., 1921-08-19

What are you drawing, Jim?''
Why, q dog." But where's its tail p
oh, that's still in the ink bottle."
The Ocala banner., 1921-08-19

What serious face she has.''
Uh-w well, you could hardly expect
her to enjoy such face as that"
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1921-12-14
HERE is MORE ABOUT
ROTARIANS LUNCH
STARTS ON PAGE ONE

Springs, and an addition to the Myrtle
Grove school.
The salaries of the teachers of the
county have been increased 20 per cent
since 1918, and the school terms in
many instances have been increased a
month through efforts of the board.
Hub Banks, physical director of the
high school, told the members of the
value the gymnasium would be to the
scholars, laying stress on the fact that
it win be of vast benefit to the student
who does not take part in the general
athletic contests; and he took occa sion
to thank the Rotarians on behalf OF tho
faculty and student body for the do
nation which will enable the school to
be equipped with flrst-class gymnasium
apparatus
Miss Helen Carter, head Of the do
mestic science department had the
preparation of the lunch in charge,
and was ably assisted by Misses Mad
cline Andrews, Dorothy Massey, Genie
Garter, Louise Berlin, Gladys Merritt,
Eunice Smith, Cornelia Moffett, Flora
Andrews, Louise Cant, Marie Louise
Robson and Ruby Robinson.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1921-12-14
BID ON BONDS
FOR ROAD WORK
Sealed Bids Are Opened at State
Capital for Highway I'm
provement Work.
Especial to The JournaI)


TALLAHASSEE, Fla, Dec. 13.-The
state road department yesterday re-
ceived and opened bids for the Issue
Of two hundred and sixty thousand
dollars Columbia county bonds and
sixty-five thousand dollars Baker
county bonds.
The bids received were as follows:
Caldwell and Company, Nashville,
Tenn. bid $27s,277 for the bonds, IN
terest and principal payable in New
York, one per cent less il paid in Lake
City; G. B. Sawyer. Jacksonville, bid
1919. 900, payable in New York, and
$4,000 payable in Lake City; Steiner
Brothers Birmingham, Ala, bid SRA
500, payable in New York, and $685.
500 If payable in Lake City; Pruden
and Company, Toledo, Ohio, bid $685.
$50 IL payable in New York, no bid
covering payment in Lake Cityi Bank
OF South Jacksonville, Fla, bid on
Columbia bonds only eighty-ttree and
a quarter per cent If payable in Lake
City, eighty-five and quarter per
cent II payable in New York.
No award so far has been made. On
Friday the sixteenth, the department
will receive bids for the construction
of the western approach to the Lib
erty bridge over the Apalachicola
river.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1921-12-14
FAMILY REUNION
AT KELLY HOME
Occasion Was the SEVENTEEN Birthday
Anniversary of w. c. Kelly at
Bluff Springs.

BLUFF SPRINGS, Fla, Dec. IA
Today viii be we'll remembered by a
ma ority of the residents of this COM
munity as 1t was the roth birthday an
niversary of w. c. Kelly, and a big
family reunion was held IN comment
Grafton of the well respected residents
anniversary. His children, grand chill
dren and great gra nd children gath
cred back to the old home to spend an
enjoyable day together.
Although there is a large number Of
the family they had all arrived at the
home by the noon hour and after
spending some time in conversation
which drifted the happy gathering back
in memory to the days Of childhood, a
bounteous dinner, prepared by the chill
dren, was spread and the merry crowd
partook Of the feast.
Although the years are showing
traces on Mr.. Kelly's face ne never
looked more youthful to the family
than he did today. During the after
noon there was singing by the younger
set of children and pleasant con-
versation by the elders until the hour
arrived when each should depart for
their several homes, each one thanking
their parents for hospitality rendered
them during the day, and wishing them
many more happy years and hoping
to be permitted to meet on the old
farm again.
Among those present were: Mr.. and
Mrs. J. L. Goodwin, their two sons, Bro
die and orie OF Oak Grove; Mr.. and
daughter, Mrs. NJ. A. Crest and little
daughters, Evangeline, Of Birmingham,
Ala; Mrs. NJ. Dreamer of this place;
Mrs. w. Stucky, Mrs. C. stucky, Mr.
and Mrs. John Taylor. Mr.. and Mrs.
yestur Kelly, Mr.. and Mrs. Vanie KEEL
~ and their daughter Vera, Mr.. and
Mr. Dave Kelly, Mrs. Joseph Kelly,
Mr.. Marvin Kelly OF Century; John
Kelly of Walnut Hill. and Miss Bessie
Kelly, the only child OF fifteen
Those Of the children who were un-
able to attend the celebration were:
Mrs. II. II. Ward, and Mr.. and Mrs.
II. G. Kelly CT Walnut Hill. TIE
youngest son. Joseph, was away on
BUSINESS and was also unable TO at
tend There are fifteen children in
the family and all are living and in
perfectly good health. There are for
ty-nine grandchildren and nineteen
great grand children.
Mr. G. Kelly Of ChipIey, the Oldest
brother Of Mr.. Kelly. was with him
during the celebration.
Mr.. and Mrs. Kelly were married
fly years ago in Butler county Ala
eama and the old people sn5oy reas-
ona5ly coed health, and both are ae-
tive IN al. Christian and civic work.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1921-12-14
CLOGCED BLOOD
WTTHERS THE BODY
Workers Sick and Weak
from ExertiOn Take
GUIDES PeptO : Mangan

Men and women who toll. either
physically or mentally, use up energy
When they oyerworlI they use up more
energy, and sometimes the blood gets
in a, rundown condition. without res
the blood cannot get back to normal,
so that it becomes clogged with waste
matter from over exertfon.
The clogged blood virtually nithers
the body. The strained looks on pale
faces. the thin, bloodless arms, the
Sunken cheeks and necks. the dead
tired feeling, ore the results Of stals
blood depriving the system Of life-g1v-
ing oxygen.
Workers go to the drug store and
get Guides Pepte- AGangan when fhey
feel weak and run down. They take i
In either the liquid or the tablet form
That makes the blood rich and red ana
drives out the poisons. Life giwsng
oxygen, carried BIZ the little red cells.
renews the. strength and builds up the
entire system. Look for the name
Guides Pepto-M angan'' On the pack
.-Adyertisement.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1921-12-14
ORIENTAL CONFAB
ENCOUNTERS SNACS
Chinese Do Not Understand Jap Po-
siticn in Regard TO Eastern
Railway.
(Ry The Associated Press)

WASHINGTON, Dec. 13.--Some diff
ficulties are believed to have been en-
countered today at the conference be-
tween the Chinese and Japanese dele
gates concerning the question OF res
toration to China of the Kiao Chow
Tsinanfu railway. the most important
Of all subjects being considered in the
attempts to settle the Shantung con-
troversy by conversations"
The Chinese delegates left the con-
ference room in an apparent attitude
of detection. one OF them saying: I'VE
did not make Ne progress we should
have, and do 10. understand the Japa-
nese position.
It is believed that the cl-ux OF the
difficulty encountered revolves about
the question OF security that China
would be able TO give in carrying out
her offer to purchase the railway and
it's adjacent mines. Japan's position
is said to be that she is ready TO listen
TO any plan Of Chinese payment, but
is particularly anxious to determine
the kind OF security China would be
willing TO propose. There have been
Indication that Japan might not be sat
isfied with an issue Of bonds by China
unless there was some definite guar
antee behind the bonds. as, for in
stance, security based upon the fu-
tuTe profits Of the railway or some
other form OF Chinese revenue.
1t was believed tonight that il the
difficulty over the method Of re-pur-
chase and IT'S connection with China's
financial position could be overcome,
Japan would not insist on her original
proposal for a joint Sino-J Japanese
management OF the railroad
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1921-12-14
WITNESS SAY LIVELY FIRED
First

WEIGH, w. Va, Dec. 13.---Two wit
nesses testifying in the criminal court
here today, declared that G. h. Lively
began the shooting which resulted in
the death Of Sid Hatfield and Ed
Chambers on the courthouse steps. Au-
gust |, last. c. r. Hensley OF Maybury
identified Lively as the man who fired
when Chambers mounted the steps
and y. b. Hicks, a miner of Coalwood,
also said Lively was the first to fire
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1921-12-14
NEW SAVINGS CERTIFICATES.

WASHINGTON, Dec. 13.--Offer of a
new issue Of treasury savings certifi-
Gates, for sale beginning December l5
in denominations of SIS, 800 and ST.
600 maturity values, was announced
tonight by Mr. Mellon. The certifi-
Gates are to mature in five years and
bear interest at the rate OF about 1-2
per cent compounded semi-annually if
held until maturity or at the rate Of
about Ia per cent compounded semi
annually il redeemed before maturity.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1921-12-14
AlR cRAFr DC Mucn LYING.

WASHINGTON Dec. Is.-Naval ana
marine air craft during flight in the
last fiscal year covered 2.5I1. 900 miles.
according to the annual report Of the
naval bureau OF aeronautics. issued to-
day. Tire mplishmenfs of both
land and sea units were declared 70
have been gratifying" the flying
soua droax attached to the fleets 1lav-
ing participated in several long flights.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1921-12-14
MANY SHOP MEN TO BE LAID Off

BALTIMORE, Dec. Is. - Thousands
Of shop men employed by the Balti-
more and Ohio railroad will be fur
oughed indefinitely Saturday When
shops over the entire system will be
shut down.
Business depression and the necessi-
ties of affecting economies were given
by officials OF the road as prompting
the action.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1921-12-14
NOMINATES
FLORIDA POSTMASTERS
(sy GEO. n. MANNiNc)

WASHINGTON, Dec. 13.-FIorida
postmasters We're nominated ely Presi-
dent Harding today as follows: Will
liam T, Graves, Cottondale; Matte ID.
Perry, Floral City; Thomas j. Bulford,
Iilliard; e. J. FrieWald, Valparaiso.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1921-12-14
WILL HAYS IS cRIrlclzEo

WASHINGTON, Dec. 13.-Postmas-
ter General Hays was criticized re
house today by Representative Wingo,
democrat, Arkansas, who declared that
he was overturning the civil service
commission to obtain appointments Of
faithful republicans as postmaster
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1921-12-14
PALACE WRECKED BY BOMB.

BRUSSELS, Dec. 13.-The Siguar-
anzia palace. at Belgrade. Bessarabia.
has been wrecked by a bomb. accord
ing TO a dispatch from Bucharest. One
hundred soldiers and police on duty
within the palace were killed
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1921-12-14
LOCAL RAILROAD SHOPS
REDUCE WORKING FORCE

Beginning next Monday the working
force at the Louisville & Nashville
railroad shops viii be reduced 20 per
cent. THE men received official noti-
fieation Of that fact yesterday.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1921-12-14
CONFEDERATE DAUGHTERS
MEETING THIS AFTERNOON

The Daughters Of the Confederacy
viii hold their regular monthly meet
ing at the bivouac this afternoon at
$50 o'clock.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1921-12-14
MEETING is POSTPONED
UNTIL AFTER NEW YEARS

The meeting Of the School Improve
ment Association Of the Eliza Jane
Wilson school has been postponed IN
til the first Wednesday in January.
Capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1919-1980, 1921-07-28
Americans Lay
Cornerstone OF
Louvaill Libr ary

Louvain. Belgium. July a.
Tha cornerstone OF the new library
OF the University OF Louvain
planned as a gift Of the American
people to the people of Belgium 10
replace the one destroyed by the
Germans in 1914 was laid with
elaborate ceremony here today.
The reading Of a message from
President Harding was a feature
of the exercises which were at
tended by King Albert. who deiiv-
cred an address, as did Cardinal
Mercier, the primate OF Belgium.
former President Poincare OF
France and Premier DeWiart OF
Belgium.
The representatives Of leading
American and other universities
participated in the ceremonies, DR..
Nicholas Murray Butler, president
of Columbia university, New York,
laid the cornerstone as chairman
OF the American committee for the
restoration Of the famous educn-
tional center and Cardinal Mer-
cier. primate Of Belgium. blessed
the building.
Capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1919-1980, 1921-07-28
Scent Plot to
Admit Chinese

Washington, July 2s.-Efforts
to pass legislation permitting the
Importation of Chinese coolies into
Hawaii is conspiracy" that has
behind 1t their eventual admission
into the United States" the iegis-
latiye committee of the American
Federation Of Labor charged In a
report made public today.
Representatives Of the sugar In
terests of Hawaii, the report said,
have advised sugar men OF this
country not to interfere with the
enactment Of law permitting
Chinese coolies to enter Hawaii.
ut is the entering wedge: II
we get them, you will have no
trouble to get them into the Uni
ted States" the report said was
the actual wording Of a statement
to sugar men in America.
Capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1919-1980, 1921-07-28
Real Estate Cabal
Outwits "Rent Hogs"

Birmingham, Ala, July 28.--
Rent hogs OF this city are on their
last legs. This has been accom-
plished by men who have institut-
ed building program of over four
houses daily for the first six
months Of 1921.
The effect of the building boom
is already being felt, and apart
ment tenants are chuckling with
giee over the discontinue OF "ten-
ant hounds" who cannot rent their
expensive apartment and houses.
Various individuals and compa-
nies built ITO houes (Which do
not include apartment houses)
during the first half of the year
at cost Of $1,591.sO3.A
Real estate men look for an ap-
preciable reduction in rents when
next knowing day" which is Oc-
tober /, comes around.
Capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1919-1980, 1921-07-28
Court Will Decide
Status of Policeman

Savannah, Ga. July 2s. -
Whether a policeman is a public
officer or an employe will be prob
ably finally settled by the supreme
court Of Georgia. State Commis-
sioner II. NJ. Stanley has just de-
eided Policeman Barlow. who was
killed by yeggmen, was an en-
ploye and that under the Georgia
workmen's compensation law the
city Of Savannah must pay his
widow. Mrs. Mildred d. Barlow.
$500. The city has announced
its intention OF carrying the case
Through the courts. eonte5ding
that g policeman Is a public Off
Ger and not an emDioya.