Licking Valley courier., 1921-06-09

sa''''s'''' two somebody
comes along asking impertinent ques-
tions as to how many children have,
and my maiden name before I was
married, and whether there's insanity
In the family.
"I'm sick and tired of answering
such questions. If my old friends
want to dig into my family history,
I'll give them all the information they
want, although I may consider their
conundrums in bad taste, but when a
perfect stranger comes along and asks
me II do my own washing, l feel that
the line must be drawn somewhere.
Every Jack In office asks questions. It
used to be that the assessor would
come to the door politely, and inquire
how many dogs we kept, and take our
estimate of the value Of our prop
erty without looking as though he
knew we ought to be prosecuted for
perjury. But now he must know the
color of your grandfather's side whis-
kers, and If you tell him that you keep
no dogs he goes out and looks under
the NJ. use, and in the barn, and when
me comes back he warns you that the
penalties for giving false information
are severe.
"Mr. Curfew says that the next
time the assessor comes, he is gong
to throw him over the back fence an0
kick him down the alley for dis
tance of seven blocks, and l hope he'll
keep his word"
81 didn't mean to offend you" said
the stranger. "Tm introducing wash
ing powder that saves half the labor,
and dlspenses with soap altogether
With this marvellous powder woman
can do the weeks washing and have
her clothes hung on the line, inside Of
two hours"
"Well. mister, you take package
Of your marvellous powder down to
the creek, and give yourself a good
scrubbIng, for you look as though you
had been fishing out of somebody's
dustbin. Your whiskers are full of
sawdust, and your face is covered
with CRIME. If you were introducing
bItumlnous coal, there might be some
excuse for your appearance, but a
man who is selling washing powder
ought to be like the driven snow, or
nobody will have confidence in him.
"And wouldn't have anything to
do with your washing powder If you
offered to bring me n wagonload FOR
twenty cents. I make my own soar
of lye and grease, and although II
isn't indorsed by the crowned heads
OF Europe, or by prelates or vice pres
idents, it's the best soap ever made
and I know the ingredients are whole
some even If they don't comprise
barks and buds and healing herbs.
"When / use my own soap, | know
the things l wash won't be any the
worse for It, but the washing powders
sold by agents are made Of dynamite
and lunar caustlc, and a garment onc'
WHSnpO Wllll lllclu VIII hN'S' w -
to use again.
Last spring was feeling too poor
ly to make the usual batch OF soap
so I bought package Of washing
powder from an agent who had nj
pockets full Of testimonials showing
that he was a man of high moral char
acter. 1t happened that week tina
all Of Mr.. Curfew's white shirts wer
in the wash. Mr.. Curfew Is very paI
ticular about his shirts. They mus
be as white as arctic snow. or the wa
he raves around the house Is Oh
grace. Well, / wish you could haV
seen those shirts after they wer
washed. They had an old gold colol
and have been getting yellower eve
since, and Mr.. Curfew never sits dow
but he speaks about 1t and make
things uncomfortable.
$50 you had better toddle alon
and sell your washing powder to som
woman who doesn't know how to max
good SOAP"