The Kennewick courier-reporter. [volume] (Kennewick, Wash.) 1914-1938, 1921-12-08

Copyright by the Adams Newspaper
Service. New York;
BY EARL pERR BIGGERs.
IT'S bein' 'andsome. that's wot does
IT," announced the cook of the John
Henry, that an liberality." He was
holding forth to the assembled crew
on the secret of his winning way with
the ladies. when walks through the
streets, they follers me, they does"
he continued, they're that took up.
An as soon as buys 'em q little
trinket or something. they loses their
'eads entirely. I've 'ad some o. 'em
tell me / was the 'andsomest man
they ever seen."
They was drunk" growled old Dam
lei sourly; "wimmin allus loses their
taste in SIGH matters when they're the
worse fer Ticker"
They was SOBER" contradicted the
cook; "as sober as you'd be Of they
was no SIGH thing as strong drink.
An they says, You're the 'andsomest
man"
handsome IL as 'andsome does"
interrupted the boy, IAN amt ever
card o. your DOM very 'andsome by
any o. your friends. Where's the lib
erality you was talkin' about?
II give you tupence onct," respond
cd the cook; "wot'd ye do with 1T"
The boy snickered.
''Wot'd We think done with IT." he
inquired, put 1t In the Bank o. Eng
land fer the beginning o. . great
fortin'? I spent It. bought the At
lantic fer private swimmin' pool"
You'd better ave q care 'ow you
talk to your elders" the cook warned
him, ''or you'll be testin' your pool
afore you knows It."
The cook was the only man aboard
to whom the boy dared talk back, and
he made the most Of II.
you better ave . care 'ow you
boast" he sneered, cor I'll rule you on
my ocean"
"'E's been goin' on about EN-" old
Daniel complained, tin we've all be-
gun to wish they never was any"
The cook gave him . scornful look.
"Where'd you be without wimmin"
he inquired; "where'd We all be, !
arsks you that?" And he glared round
the circle.
I'm the garden o. Eden pluckin'
our meals OF the trees" replied the
old man, who was cynic 40 well 90
: IN A. b.. IAN not nine hours from
Wrapping an crool, 'artless world"
-As I was sayin'," went on the
cook hastily. II expects to see one o.
these fairies knows in Mapping.
Purity as pictur' she IL. Fine yaller
air an bright red cheeks. An she
Is very good taste. She says I'm q
most 'andsome man."
Its ard to understand" said old
Daniel, winking at Peter Smith.
AN when you lads are drinkin' your
beer alone an In solitude" continued
the cook, "Ill be sittin' there, with
my arm around 'er waist, tellin' 'er
'ow mean you all are"
And with this prophecy he deserted
the forecastle for the galley.
"'E's q bad 'un," said Daniel when
the heartbreaker had gone. 'an'
very good sort ed be, too, eff It
wasn't fer Is runnin' arter the VIM
min"
1T 'urts Is reputation" Joe Mar
tin added; you'd think as ED know
enough to let wimmin alone, bein' as
'ow 'e's married man."
'Wot e needs is lesson" said DAN
siel sternly, "a lesson that'n show i'm
the evil o. Is ways. An we're the
ones to give 1t to i'm"
"Wot's your plan?" the others In
quired.
II amt 'ad time to think It out
very careful yet" the old man re-
turned, but the main pints IL as fol-
lows: Cook tells me as 'ow g in
tends to meet this yaller-'aired friend
o. is at the Golden Cloud In Mapping
tomorrow evenin' at seven. Now, my
plan II fer q few o. US to take cook
to the Golden Cloud tomorrow arter.
noon, an git I'm 80 drunk afore seven
that g won't know is friend from the
dowager empress o. China. Then in
the mornin' well tell i'm e married
'er the night before"
lCS SOOu ScneIue, except TOT one
! very important thing" Peter Smith re-
marked, "an' that is, 90 pays fer the
ticker cook gifts drunk on?"
I'VE do" old Daniel answered, and
then raised his hand to quiet the roar
ing shout of approval, but" he ex-
planned, I'VE takes 1t out o. Cooks peck.
ct on the way back to the ship. e
ort to be glad to pay few shillings
to ave bad 'abit broke"
No further objections being offered,
Daniels scheme was unanimously
adopted, and the conspirators sought
their hunks.
Early the next morning the roofs OF
Wrapping appeared on the horizon, and
little later the John Henry dropped
anchor outside the harbor. Domestic
duties confined the cook to the vessel,
and It was nearly six o'clock In the
evening when the three impatient re.
formers lowered him into the ships
boat and headed for the distant shore
Arriving at the Golden Cloud, they
realised that they must make I'D fol