Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-01-20

PERTH AMBoY EVENING NE1
BITS OF BYPLAY
BY Luke McLuke.
i Copyright. 1920. by The Cincinnati Enquirer.
His Glass.
The GLACIERS a man of class.
At dry laws he can smirk;
For he knows he will get his glass
Before he goes to work.
Horrors!
Tough about poor Smith. wasn't it?" said
What happened him." asked Brown.
"He got so far behind in his room rent that
he had to marry his landlady," replied Jones.
The Human Rabbit.
The fellow who takes to his feet.
You often meet; a.
The only thing that he can beat
Is q retreat.
He. Hum!
Marrying a pretty face won't insure comfort.
Your wife may be a thing of beauty and a jaw
forever.
"Rounder is an awful boozer, isn't hep said
Founder.
way he pours in alcohol he must think the lamp
of life is a spirit lamp"
Ouch!
"Old razor. you are dull, My, my"
Commented Barber Leather.
But in my business you and I
Should try to pull together"
Nh. Joyi
As we understand it, the object of the League
Of Nations is to turn the Secretary of War into
the Secretary OF Peace.
"Those Californians seem to hate the Japs.
don't they ?" said the New York man.
YES" replied the New Jersey man. II ex-
pect that it would be an insult to ask any local
California woman to wear a kimono."
Mean Brute,
Her husband saith
OF Mrs. Young:
she's short of breath,
But long of tongue"
Firms Is Firms.
Dryer & Dryer, Drainage Contractors, Homer,
How About 1t?
Rolin Wright, of Troy. Ohio. wants to get
into the crap game in the Club.
BeIC0Al
Herbert Heat of Milford, KY, says that
the usual bunch of Kentuckians were gathered
in front of the towns best hotel and were tell
ing the usual yarns and doing the usual brag-
Amy of you folks ever see the Natural Bridge
down in Wolf County, asked T-Cat Ogden.
seen it?" sneered Uncle Shedd Williams,
Reckon 1 has seen it, Hell, 1 helped build the
dam thing!"
The Names Is Names Club Is a great place
for developing an appetite. F'rinstance. Mar
ietta Parrett halls from Peoria, ILL.,, and Sarah
Eta Pickel halls from Sweetwater, Tenn.
The Shortest Short Poems.
Rocked boat.
Wooden coat.
Luke McLuke.
On track.
Gets whack.
Canton (ohio) News.
Our National Zoo.
otter, w. Va.
Bruin. Penn.
Bison, w. Va.
Swans. Ind.
Buffalo, n. Y.
Eagles. Ind.
Lyons, Penn.
A dog went into a dry goods store.
His actions were quite puZzlin':
But soon the clerks all understood
That the poor dog needed muslin.
Billy Wood.
Bless Her Hearth
Some like it pink. But we are kinda found of
Olive Salmon. Secretary of the Muskogee
(okla.) Health Center.
Our Daily Special.
Yesterdays Luxuries Are To-Day's Necessi-
ties.
1t is the man who has lodged Jury service
all his life who bowls most about some of the
vedicts handed down by Juries.
Some men are so fond of arguing that they
will take either side in order to start an argu-|
ment.
We would all be millionaires if the other fell
low paid as much attention to his own bust
ness as he does to yours.
OF course, 1t is none of our business. But
the world wouldn't be missing much if a skinny
girl would fasten her waist up over her more
or-less Perfect Sc.
If a man happens to wake up two or three
times after he hits the hay he goes around next
dayand tells everybody that he didn't sleep a
wink all night.
Alta Boy!
Once in a while you find some of the nobility
in this country. Frinstance we Noah Duke in
Silver Point, Tenn.
lOTT WAS ON THE JOB.
ove assasoe. res eAns
Sne SAW a, Cosde HONE