The New York herald., 1921-01-02
Success to Crime" in the Innocent Bystanders

watching the gambols of a puppy belonging
to the family, and observed that the animal
took a lively interest in objects which II
could carry about in its teeth Hats hand
kerchiefs. bits of wood copy OF the Con-
oressiondl Record, woollen mittens and lip
sticks-in all of these articles the dog mani
tested keen concern for a time but, as AL
pheus noticed, soon seemed to weary. Again
and again the puppy looked wistfully up al
the boy with very agony Of pleading in its
intelligent eyes and Alpheus grieved
the inarticulate longing OF the pup FOR
hours be studied over the problem, and
suddenly, with binding flash Of inspira-
ton, he cried:
IT have it-a rubber overshoel"
Such was the humble origin of this great
est Of domestic inventions.
Alpheus was hampered for a time, IL is
true, by the fact that rubber had not yet
been discovered at that remote date; bu;
conscious of its need he did not rest until
the commodity had been brought to New
England from tropical lands and in the
nineteenth century, made available for his
use by the chemical researches of Mr.
O'Sullivan.
Although Mr.. Waterburys primary pur
pose was to relieve the suffering of dumb
brutes as has been described above his great
contribution to domestic happiness and the
achievement for which his name will always
be- held In grateful remembrance, consists
in the new opportunity which he opened up
to women. We refer to the exhaustless occa-
sion which by the invention Of the overshoe
he afforded to women to witness the inherent
helplessness of the male.
What a glorious. inspiring. soul warming
spectacle it Is that Is now to be witnessed
in millions upon millions of homes through
out the length and breadth Of the land on
any rainy morning the dodderlng, inept
1o3 L.
off for his day at the place where they pay
him salary apparently because he wears
pants; the children crowding about the door
10 snicker at his heels, in anticipation Of
the denouement; the wife, a half -pityine
smile upon her cold face, as she watches the
poor wretch start blithely OFT, goloshesless
. At the sidewalk she halts him.
Haven't you forgotten something?" she
asks, witheringly.
The unfortunate simpleton, with the rain
beating down upon his worn derby. looks
at himself all over and gives it up. At an
imperious gesture from the door he crawls
back, cringing. once more put into his proper
place
Here" she says. PUT these on
Properly shod, the sodden creature goes
forth once more; while the wife. cheered
And heartened for the entire day, remains
blithly singing about the home. What "a
Mr.. Waterbury,
But il is at nightfall that the inventor e
greatest triumph is recorded. The head $50
called) of the. family then returns home
without them, OF course. AS he enters the
hall he remembers them. too late; and
though he would far rather go out once
more into the night he lacks the courage
even for this.
For long moment she stares at him and
at his squelching shoes in silence. He at
tempts speech. but it dies out. Not so with
her She speaks as follows:
"You" she says. You unintelligent. un-
intellectual, shallow, weak. soft, sappy, weak
headed, weak-minded, feeble e-rninded half
witted short-witted. shallow-brained, dull
stupid obtuse, blunt. stolid, doltish, asinine
dull witted, blunt -witted, childish, infantile
babysh childlike, fatuous. idotic, imbeciic
dwelling, brainless witless, thick -skulled
blockish, foolish, silly, senseless, Irrational
insensate, nonsensical muddy-headed un-
gifted. undiscerning, unenlightened, preju
diced, blgoted. purblind, narrow-minded
wrong headed. crochety, conceited self-opn-
ionated mulish. infatuated. giddy. eccentric
dod. extravagant, light-headed, hare Drained
scatter-brained. ridiculous, inJudicious. i'm
prudent unreasonable, ill-judged. ill-advised
inconsistent, absurd, egregious simpleton
willing, ninny, dolt, numbskull, half-wit
Ounce, dotard and driveller. change your
shoes and come In to support"
He does.
Without the overshoe--what would the
homo be?