The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1921-04-01
ON THE Funny BoNEs.


ON THE FUNNY BONES
"They,. charged me with putting
coloring matter in BITTER
II see you won
Eyes, my foxy lawyer tried the
case before jliryof ladies, and ev-
cry one OF them was using q little
coloring matter Louisville Courier
Journal.
care caterpillars good to eat?" ask
ed little Tommy at the dinner table.
Mo- said the father. What
makes you ask question like that
while we arc eating%
you had one ON your lettuce, but
it's gone now" replied Tommy.
Best aftef-dinner speech ever
no sWbat dIh he. .sayqa "
Waiter, let me- have the check'r
--Louisyille cpqiaer7Jqtrhal
The following honyersatiOn between
two small colored boys was overheard
at the Washington navy yard:
What fob dey want dem big guns?
thought we wouldn't hab no mob
war"
well, we has to hab dem to sass
'em back"
A doughboy had just got back home
from the war. and he was lunching
in cafeteria when an old lady In
the next chair leaned over and said:
81, too, have a soldier son, young
man, and a lucky one at that Would
you believe it? My boy went through
the war without a scratch?'
Gee, lady" said the doughboy,
spill us the name Of his Insect
powder, will we ?"
How much have you left of your
salary?"
"oh. the better part
impossible know you have
spent more than half"
True. but ! have part OF 1t left and
what isn't spent is certainly the bet
ter part"
The Springfield Republican eorrects
a ssorth Carolina paper which spells
the name of the famous lake. near
Webster, Mass, as "Chargoggagogm
anchaugoggungama and says that
the true way 20 spell II is chaugauga
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
maug." This is something any per-
son who wants 70 be particular ought
to lot down I'm his memory SO az not
60 make mistake. Waterbury
American.
Dobbs-I'm sorry your wife opened
that business letter ] sent You. You
told me she never opened your mail.
Hobbs--She doesn't as a rule, but
you marked that one private"
Mr.. Myles-I understand your wife
cried in church last Sunday.
Mr.. Styles-Yes. she did
Mr. Myles--Was the sermon 20 af'
fecting?
Mr.. Styles-It wasn't that, but a
woman she doesn't like sat right In
front Of her and she had on hat
exactly like my wife's. r. Yonkers
Statesman.
A reporter was interviewing Thomas
A. Edison. And you sir" he said to
the inventor made the first talking
machine2'
NO" Edison replied. the Brst one
was made long before my time-out
OF a rib
"My wife is prolonging her visit. /
need her at home, but u seems use
less to write suggestVg that she re-
turn
Get one OF the neiRhboh to sug-
gest II my boy"--Boston Transcript
Visitor-You certainly have fine
looking bunch OF photographers,
Where do yoy find them?
Kraft Usually back In the corner
arranging thir hair --Lubricator.
"How is your afternoon bridge club
getting on"
"Oh, rather poorly You know
dear, Mrs. Gossip has left US
Bun thought she was an atrocious
player"
"She was. but then. she always had
so many delicious stories TO tell about
her neighbors boston Transcript.
Mrs. Eye.-Does your husband re-
member the anniversary of your mar
rage
Mrs. Wye Never: so I remind him
OF II IN January and June and get
two decentralization Transcript,
I'm the old days | used to 80 or my
vacation to yet away from booze
And now"
Nov it's different 'tLouisyille
Courier-Journal.
---s-
The Merliesf Nen