Mountain advocate., 1921-05-06

Honeybug is a good story-teller, and he
was telling us bully yarn, and for
a brief season we forgot the burdens
laid upon us, which are greater than
we can bear. If you could tell a story
as well as Honeybug does, I'd fill these
ancestral halls with sllvery laughter,
but you never try to say anything
amusing, Mrs. Jamesworthy. You do
tell stories, but they are of gloomy
and tragic character.
last night, when came home, you
told dramatic story to the effect that
you had callers all afternoon, and
hadn't a chance to cook anything for
me. and so had to eat canned salmon
and soda crackers, and wash them
down with water, and I insist that
when husband comes home from his
lrduous iabors in the changing mart,
10 empty that his watch chain makes a
NlntlnR sound when it flaps againht
hls tplne, he should have warm Vic
,ukia, something he can consume with
bsAaQFe aud pride, The fact that yeu
hkA Ah Invasion o. callers u D cheap
Ixeuss.
my saihted mother never would
aAvs permitted sny callers TO Interfere
With her rnhaAaampat of the coeSa
ltovs. She realised that her old man
kept tho shahhnR going and thar he
Dhould have the right OF way. II any
Did hens happened to be in the house
when grub time approached, my moth.
er would request them, firmly but re-
,pectfully, to chase themselves, and II
they didn't like 1t they could lump 1t.
When my father came home from his
work, the hay was always in the
manger for him, and he never had to
walt five minutes for a meal.
"The day before yesterday, when l
came staggering home, faint and
weary from my herculean efforts to
make both ends meet, you told me an
other story. 1t was to the effect that
you had been downtown sizing up a
shipment Of new spring hats, just re-
ceived ct the millinery foundry, and
you were so interested you forgot the
lapse of time, and didn't get home in
time to cook anything. But you flashed
a winning smile at me, and said 1t
wouldn't take you ten minutes to warm
up a can of beans, and there was some
cold coffee left from breakfast, and you
had plenty of smoked herrings on
hand.
DOUBTLESS I should have burst forth
into boisterous laughter over this en-
tertaining anecdote, but somehow 1t
didn't appeal to my sense Of humor.
I was so busy that day hadn't time
to eat anything at noon, and all the
way home / was hoping you would
have a porterhouse steak about three
inches thick, and raft of boiled po-
tatoes, and perhaps a slab Of mince
pie as an epilogue.
"The day before that, when 1 came
home as hollow as bass drum, and
fairly gnashing my teeth with hun
ger, you related humorous story to
the effect that your club didn't adjourn
on time that afternoon, and you didn't
get home until late, SO ! would have
to get along with a picked-up supper.
II would be patient a few minutes,
you said, to make the story seem more
spicy, you would boil an egg for me,
and there was cold corn bread in the
cupboard.
"Such stories, Mrs. Jamesworthy,
may seem highly amusing to an inno-
cent bystander, and l have no doubt
they would make a great hit If written
up and printed in London Punch, but
there is something wrong with my
sense of humor, or 1 am at the wrong
end of the stories. Anyhow, 1 can't
gurgle over them as l do over Honey
bugs yarns"