davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Yale expositor., 1921-06-30

her in q voice lOw-pitched aud sterni
"If your father thinks"
"I'm goin' to have my girl" gritted
Uriah.
"Then you have the law Mt your
hand to use, Mr.. Devon" returned the
doctor, "and you, Sarah. I'll ask you
to attend to your own affairs after
this"
"But. Cousin john" argued Mrs
Curtis, "she's the mans own child
Surely he has a right toto-"
A sound of bell pealing through
the house cut off her words. Then
came heavy footsteps in the hall. BE.
fore anyone could figure on the cause
of this commotion. the door burst
open and several uniformed men
came In. When Uriah Devon caught
sight of them, he made dash for tho
window, but two heavy officers were
on him before he was half way across
the room. It took but few minutes
for the officials to explain to Doctor
Pendlehaven that they had been trail.
ing Devon for long time, that he
was wanted for crime in Syracuse.
When they were leading him out
manacled and deeply enraged, he
turned on Tonnibel.
"I'll get even with you, MISS" nc
snapped at her, his eyes full Of hate
land I'll get even with you too, mis-
ter" He threw the last half Of his
sentence at Doctor John, whose only
reply was shrug Of his shoulders.
During the struggle between the de-
tectives and Uriah, Mrs. Curtis had
clutched at Pendlehaven's neck, but
he had cast her off without ceremony
Now the three were alone. Tcnnibel
palpitating and fearful, Mrs. Curtis
sobbing on the floor, and Doctor John
looking ut her sterhly.
Sarah" he said haughtily, 81 saw
the disgraceful way you were pulling
this child's hair when I came in, and
at last, much as I dislike doing It, J
must ask you to leave my house."
"Leave?' Mrs. Curtis screamed.
"Where would 1 go7 haven't a place
In the world but this"
A careless gesture from Doctor
John told Tonnibel that Tat fact
didn't interest him. She slipped her
hand into his. Lifting eyes that were
troubled and dark.circled, she begged /:
"Let 'er stay, Cousin John. Mebbe
she didn't know my daddy would have
killed me If he'd got me back to the
Dirty Mary"
Pendlehaven put his arm around
her, and with a ring Of fierceness In
his voice. said:
"There, Sarah, there's pity for you.
If you stay, it's because Tony Devon
pleads for you, not because I have
any sense Of duty toward you.
hope you feel properly grateful"
The doctor strobe to the door,
opened It and motioneo for her to be
gone. Then weeping. she clattered
away, her sobs audible even after the
door was closed.
For a few moments Tony Devon
wept silently in John Pendlehaven's
arms.
ooh, It's awful to have daddy taken
away to JAIL" she moaned, "but he
won't be good, he just won't!"
you're much better off to have
him away, little girl" soothed Fen
dlehaven.
The Yale expositor., 1921-06-30
WOOD BACKER ASKS FOR REFUND
Colonel Proctor Claims $745,433 Due
from Campaign Cost.

Chicago.-William Cooper Proctor,
of Cincinnati, former chairman of the
Leonard Wood national campaign
committee, has filed bill in superioa
court here, asking an accounting and
money decree to compel eight other
organizers Of the committee to reim-
burse him $745,433 as their share in
the $S13,200 expenses in promoting
General Wood for Republican candi'
date for president.
The Yale expositor., 1921-06-30
HEALTH ENDANGERED AT RESORT
State Board of Health Seeks lnjunc-
ton in West State Case.

Holland, Naturalization proceed
ings have been started by the state
board of health against the Macatawa
Reset association, alleging that the
sewage disposal system at the noted
resort is such that the lives Of the
thousands of resorters are imperiled
every summer.
Swan Miller, president Of the asso-
citation, will fight the proceedings.
The Yale expositor., 1921-06-30
Old Penalties Inadequate.

"Why don't you Crimson gulch men
hang an automobile thief the same as
you used to do with horse thiefr
"We've discussed IT," said Cactus
Joe; "but we came to the conclusion
that hangin' is too good for him"
The Yale expositor., 1921-06-30
ASPIRIN
Name "Bayer" on Genuine

Beware! Unless you see the name
Slayer" on package or on tablets you
are not getting genuine Aspirin pre-
scribed by physicians for twenty-one
years and proved safe by millions.
Take Aspirin only as told in the Bayer
package for Colds, Headache, Neural
gia, Rheumatism, Earache, Toothache,
Lumbago, and for Pain. Handy tin
boxes of twelve Bayer Tablets Of AS
pirin cost few cents. Druggists also
sell larger packages. Aspirin is the
trade mark Of Bayer Manufacture Of
Monoaceticacidester Of Salicylicacid.
The Yale expositor., 1921-06-30
SAVE SHOES and STOCKINGS

They will last twice as long IL you Shake
Into Your Shoes ALIENS FOOT=EASE,
the powder for the feet. II takes the fric-
ton from the shoe and gives quick relief to
Corns, Bunions Callouses, SORE aching, swol-
len. tender feet. Shake Aliens Foot=Ease
into your shoes and enjoy the bliss of feet
without an ache.
The Yale expositor., 1921-06-30
Cuticura for PimpIy Faces

Cuticura for PimpIy Faces.
To remove pimples and blackheads
smear them with Cuticura Ointment.
Wash off in five minutes with Cuti-
cura Soap and hot water. Once clear
keep your skin clear by using them for
daily toilet purposes. Don't fail to in
clude Cuticura Talcum.
The Yale expositor., 1921-06-30
(TO BE CONTTNUED)
Where the Speed Ia.

When 1t comes to automobile par
ties, a machine is only rs fast a tl,s
people In 1.-THE Sun-DiaL
The Yale expositor., 1921-06-30

And many mans bravery is due to
his knowledge Of the fact that the
other fellow Is coward.
The Yale expositor., 1921-06-30
important to Mothers

A word to the wise is sufficient (;
the difficulty lies in finding out who
are.
The Yale expositor., 1921-06-30

the laugh of woman with dimples
and pretty teeth.
The Yale expositor., 1921-06-30
Moro AdvIce-

II you think you are bright, keep {
dark.--Boston Evsolng Transcript
The Yale expositor., 1921-06-30

A mans prosperity shows in his
wife's clothes.
The Yale expositor., 1921-06-30
Another Excuse.

Hub-That button Is still off.
Wife-Yes, dear, l am economizing
on thread.
The Yale expositor., 1921-06-30
Poser for Dad,

Studious Youngster-Pa, how many
times what makes eleven?
The Yale expositor., 1921-06-30
1SaSaSasaTS5ls15ls1515151S151s1
! MARKETS
DETROIT QUOTATIONS
Feed and Grain.


$1.32; September, l.26; No. white, $l.41
and No. 2 white, Sl.31.
YELLOW CORN-Cash No. 2, 62 lie;
Wa Fl oATs~cash No. z, Ale asked;
No. 3. 80 1-2c; No 4, s6 l-2c.
RYE-Cash No, 2. $l.23:
BEANS-Immediate and prompt ship
RARLEYEFeeding. sl.sO@1.4O per cwt.
ssEEDS-Prime red clover, $3.50; Oc-
tober SIS; alsike, $l4; timothy, s3.15
s1s@l9; light mixed, $1S@1s; No. tim
othy, $l6@1S; No. / clover mixed, SAC
Is; No. clover, $1S@14; rye straw, $3.50
ola; wheat and oat straw. $l250@l3 per
ton in carlots.
FEED-Bran. $24; standard middlings,
s24; fine middlings., $780, cracked corn,
$50; coarse cornmeal. $27@2S; chop, S2o
per ton In 100-lb sacks.
FLOUR-Fancy spring wheat patents.
$40 100000; fancy winter wheat patents,
$9.50@1025; second winter wheat pat
ents, $s.50@9; winter wheat straights,
$7.50@S per Dbl.
Live Stock and Poultry
CATTLE-Best heavy steers, $7@7.25;
best handy, VT. butcher steers, $500
handy light butchers, s5.5O@650; light
butchers, $3@4.75 best cows, $4.75@5;
butcher cows, S3.25W4; cutters. $2.50@3;
can eca s2@2SP Su best aesyg Bulls stoc 5s
bulls, s3@4.50; feeders. s5.50@6; stockers,
s3.25@4.75; mixers and springers, $40
SHEEP AND LAMBS-Best lambs, 81
@1250; fair lambs, 5000; light to com
mon lambs $5@7.75; yearlings, $4@9; fair
to good sheep $S.5oq4 culls and com
HoGs~Mxed hogs. $3.50; pigs, $S.75;
extreme heavy, IS; roughs, 81; stays, 50;
cAIVEs-Best grades, s1O.5O@11; com
lick INK
LIVE OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES, colored
stock. 1-2 lbs. up, 4OQ42c; leghorns and
small, 30@32c; hens, 2S@3Oc; old roost-
ers, 15c; ducks, Csc; large young ducks,
35 a 40c; geese, 15c; turkeys, 25c per h.
Garden and Farm Produce
APPLEs-western boxes, s2.25@s.5O.
RASPBERRIES-Red. s14 per 24-qt
case; black, SIS per 16-qt. case.
notwithstanding sweet, $2.75@S;
sour, $SM325 per 16-qt. case.
PEACHES-Georgia liberia, $2.75@3.25
per 6-basket carrier.
HUCKLEBERRIES-$ per "a
quart case.
STRAWBERRIES - Michigan. s5Q5.25
per NEW Styquf P6T saSe Carolina
$4,000; Virginia. s4@4 rs per bbl;
TOMATOES-Repack SCOOPS per
six basket crate; original crates, $3.5O@
DRESSED HoGs-Light, Toe; heavy,
case per Id.
CABBAGE-Small crate, $2Q250 per
crate.
POTAToEs-Old, $125@1.5O per 15O-lb
sa ok.
DRESSED CALVES-Choice, 13@14c;
mediums, 11@12c; large coarse, 9410c per
ID.
CELERY-Michigan 2O@25c per doz.
LETTUCE-Imperial valley Iceberg, 81
@7.50; leaf lettuce, 50@60c per bu.
ONIONS-Texas white, $2@2.25; yell
low, S185@2 per crate
Vegetables.
Asparagus, Michigan, $175@2 per flat;
cucumbers, dollhouse. 81. 40 for No.
and s1.15@125 per No. per doz. !;
Iound radishes $202.25 per blu; green
peppers, S1.75@2 per hamper and $1.25@
l50 per flat; parsley, 40d50c per doz;
new turnips, s150@1.75 per bu; new car
rots. s1@125 per doz bunches; green and
beans. $1.75Q2 per hamper; green peas,
S2.75@3 per bu; new beets, $2 per doZ.
bunches; spinach, s1@1.25 per bu; rhu-
barb, 4O950c per doz; green onions, 10
a soc per bunch.
Butter and Eggs
BUTTER-Best creamery, in tubs, 29c
per ID.
EGGS-Fresh, candled, 26 1-2c per doz.
The Yale expositor., 1921-06-30

Butter and Eggs
BUTTER-Best creamery, in tubs, zoe
per ID.
EGGS-Fresh, candled, 26 1-2c per doz.
Capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1919-1980, 1921-03-25
81 z Z PV-TIME- TALE>
u THE ia l. e Or
1E fOMMY FOX
hldz5 AB1 ARTHUR Is SCOT SA'lc r-s

to take a farmers hen now anu
then in return for killing lielu
mice and woodchucks, which eat
the farmers grain. But the farm
or never stops to think of that
He only thinks of the hens that
he loses.
Tommy Fox never said woro
while his mother was talking u
him He was very busy, eating
Rut that was not the only reason
WHY he kept still. He heard ms
mothers warning, but he thought
she was silly. He really believed
that he was quite old enough ana
quite big enough and quite wise
enough to go down to Farmer
Green's and get hen himself
After catching old Mr.. WOOD
chuck Tommy felt that he was
able to do about everything his
mother could do. And he made
I'D his mind right then and there
that he would show her he
would pay a visit to the hem
house that very night.
Tommy Fox could not wait for
night to come. In fact, he could
Capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1919-1980, 1921-03-25
Tommy Fox in Trouble

Tommy Fox In Trouble
A few days after Tommy caught
old Mr.. Woodchuck, something
happened that set him thinking.
Perhaps l should say "a few
nights" instead of days" For
one night his mother came home
with a fat hen slung across her
shoulders. She had been down to
Farmer Green's henhouse, right
in the middle of the night, when
Farmer Green and his family
were asleep; and she had snatch
ed one of the sleeping hens off
the roost and stolen away with it
without waking anybody.
Only very wise old fox could
do that. You mustn't go near
Farmer Green's hen house." Mrs.
Fox said to Tommy, as they pick
ed the bones of the fat hen to-
gether. "You are not old enough
to get one of Farmer Green S
hens"
You notice that Mrs. Fox did
MT speak of stealing" hen.
She called it getting" one. For
foxes believe that it Is only fair
Capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1919-1980, 1921-03-25

ips $3.50 cwt; carrots $1,000
1.5O sack; parsnips $500 -wt;
caauliflower $1.25 per dozen; po-
tatoes $1.25 cwt; California cab
bage $400 cwt; green peppers
25c; celery S1.25@1.75 dozen;
spinach 10c pound; rhubarb 12c;
asparagus 26C ID.
Fruits; Oranges $3.25@5.5O;
lemons s3.50@4.50; bananas
11hc; dates, pound, (bulk) Csc;
Dromedary dates 81 case; black
figs 10c; white figs 12hc; Cali
fornia grapefruit $500; Florida
grapefruit $3.50; Arizona grape
fruit $3.50.
Retail Prices
Butter and eggs: Eggs 2Sc;
creamery butter 51Q52c; coun-
try butter 45c.
Portland Markets.
Portland, Or, Mar. 25 - Cattle
steady; receipts IA: choice
steers $S.O0@S.5O; extreme $3.50
medium to choice $7.250S.OO;
fair to good $6.50@7.25; common
to fair $3.50 $50: choice cows
and heifers $6.5Oq7.0O; medium
to good $500 $50; fair to medi-
UNI $500 $50; common to fair
$4.5O@5.50; Gamers S2.25@
4.5O; bulls 3.5O@5.OO; choice
dairy calves s12.5O@13.5O; prime
light S11.50a12.50; medium
s9.5O@1l.5O; heavp calves $500
67.5O; best feeders s6.5O96.75;
tair to good $50.
Hogs higher: receipts 4O9:
prime light $120O@12.5O; smooth
heavy $11.50@12.OO: rough
heavy sS.OOGlO.5O; fat pigs
$12,OOql2.5O; feder pigs $11.OO
a12.
Sheep weak: receipts As: east
OF mountain lambs S7.506S.25;
valleys $1,000 zoo; heavy $500
G7.50; feeders $1,000 $50; Gull,
500; ewes 1909 500:
light yearlings $500 a 7.5O: heavy
S6.5Oa7.OO; wethers 5000
500.
Portland, Or. Mar. %. - But
ter steady; extra cubes 50 a 4Oc; ;
cartons 46c: prints 45c.
Butterfat, No. l churning
cream 42c o b Portland: under
grades 40c.
Eggs: Selling price case count
goo 22e; buying price 1Sc; sell
ing price candled 600 24c; selects
candled in cartons 2492eC
Poultry: Hens, light 2462sc
heavy 90 q soc: broilers 24G2c
ROSTERS 14R17c; turkeys as
see: geese nominal; ducks 5
42e.
hillstuffs: Millrun SS1d32.
Hay: Buying price. time.
ss5o2s: alfalfa sls. grain IA,
Capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1919-1980, 1921-03-25
Deaths Averaging
1000 Per Day In
Famine Districts

Peking, Mar. "a. - Famine.
which holds the provinces Of
Honan, Shensi and Chihli in its
sinister grasp. is reaping a dread
ful harvest, according to reports
received at thN headquarters of
the International Relief organize
tion in this city. In twenty-five
counties of Honan, the average
daily death rate March is was
1000 while deaths from famine in
the six northern counties of the
province averaged 500 daily.
Sixteen counties in Ehensi COW
cred by relief committees, have
suffered terribly, it is shown by
reports, the most serious phase of
the scourge being found, appar-
entity, near Fuping, a small town
northeast of Sian-Fu, capital of
the province. In the sixteen coun-
ties there have been $4,000 deaths
from starvation since the begin
ming of the famine, 10000 Of these
deaths occurring in Fuping coun-
ty, Pneumonia plague recently
made its appearance in twenty
villages along the border between
the provinces of Chilli and Shan
tung, los persons dying from the
malady. which, however, has been
controlled.
In some counties in Honan
there was a dangerous condition
arising from an outbreak of ty-
phis, twenty cases being reported
daily. Medical authorities there.
however. have conditions under
control
Capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1919-1980, 1921-03-25

trouble At all in following him.
And Spot kept drawing nearer
and nearer.
It happened that Mrs. Fox
heard the baying of the dog. And
she knew what Spot was saying.
He was crying-'I've almost got
him! I've almost got him!"
A shiver passed over Mrs, Fox.
for she thought at once of Tom
my. He was not at home, and
she wondered il by any chance
he was In trouble. She hurried
through the field to see who il
was that Spot was chasing. And
sure enough pretty soon Mrs,
Fox saw Tommy come tearing
through the field, painting hard
with his tongue hanging out, and
a most frightened look upoa his
face.
Mrs. Fox fastened to meet him,
The dog Spot was then on the
other side of a low hill, and run.
ming along with his nose to the
ground.
Jump" Mrs. Fox said To
Tommy, as soon as he Joined her
Tommy remembered, then
what his mother had always told
him. So he gave long leap to
one side.
Now make big circle, and
jump again. Then go homer
That was all Mrs. Fox had time
to say. She stopped just long
enough to see Tommy dash off,
and then she started right in the
opposite direction.
The dog Spot. saw her and
gave a yelp of delight. He die
not know what had been happen,
ing. He only thought that now
he was going to catch the fox
which was the stupidest fox hi
had ever chased, running as il
did, straight away, with never g
leap or a circle, or any other
sort of trick to fool him. Little
did Spot guess that old Mrs. Fo1
had not the slightest idea Of
being caught. She had been fol
lowed by Spot himself many
Capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1919-1980, 1921-03-25
Oregon Notes

According to c. P. Barnard,
county judge of Lane county, the
sum of 100000 will be expended
on thel over end of the Mckenzie
river highway this year.
Residents of Scappoose have
purchased two lots and will build
a parsonage for Rev. H. Dorks,
pastor of the Community church.
Five dozen China pheasants
from the state game farm at Cor
Wallis were released at various
points in Jackson county a few
days ago.
For the first time infour years
Umatilla now has a city admins
tration composed entirely of men.
Capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1919-1980, 1921-03-25
Friday, March Is. 4,

to tlmss' sss.a and she knew .,..;|
70, 70 escape : him. 81. ,s., s.astl' !, y
that thu a TewI Few moments, q on a,s. ''.''A
Spot Spot roa ron%y my. was safe. 'l.'' ~ ~
at apS AZ, Sne ne did rum IN Ana g a's
At an al she left Spot far n Ass,.a 70 In,
w,S Now, y Mrs Mrs. Fox knew H., S'a'aa
that Tas woI pi0gghed field nea,S, suss the,
sbs sRs' s'smni wns just wha, she ss's, s.,,. .ai
it' IpSSp Ana and u went straight i : .sD' great
erenos sro other er side Of the s' D1"ssa 11sssa'i
breathing spell, 'O' short
You see, Mrs. Fo,
SrS %lSs indeed indeed. She knew ID ts,, t''' :
men men. a ploughed field ,,s tss.. vas
%hnr Dgene at. at all. She knew rs, y, %
Sna4 %nen Spot reached that o" lo'.. that !.
stn". Sp0t could not smell her, tVy's ,ali Oily
steps, ST. 49,. And so she rust SAT- 50, Stt isol'
proath pr aeF dn naunches, and caught ps tn's =
A grim smile crossed NJ, :
race as she heard spot h. soIiI
sway In. IN the distance. If va. a'ls
vel; very different bark from " v,s, va. :, \
n nad heard when he was csa., Ia' ~
,n Lommy,, n.y., This time Spot was Ss'',a' ~
ing "oh' dear! oh, dear, - ,sI, y
lost MINI" over and over a,,,0 ~
When Mrs. Fox reached Sa.' ssD
she found Tommy safe ,ao.l' aoa'
'neir house He was CRYING ''a' !,
cause he was afraid he " S.'', "
never see his mother again 'Ial, "
atter his mother found ont a.A ~
Spot had happened to ch,.. a., a'' H.
Tommy cried some mors
Tor 1F,,. an entirely different r,,~ y
Who can guess what tho =.
was? 'H
Capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1919-1980, 1921-03-25

the women having become tired of
the job.
The Medford city council at its
last meeting authorized the city
treasurer to pay off $3S,00O gen
eral fund bonds Of 1911, which be-
come due April l.
Capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1919-1980, 1921-03-25
Buying Prices

Dug ing AAASSS
Grain: Average valley wheat
(bulkl Sill bushel; average val
ley oats (bulkl 42c bushel.
Hay: Cheat hay $22.00a $500
oat hay S22.OO924.OO; clover
hay $2O922.
Meat: Hogs S11.75; dressed
hogs 11hc. top steers 7hci
cows &c; bulls 4G5o lambs &c;
sheep yeaTling 4e; ewes he; veal
fancy dressed 16G16hc
Poultry and eggs: Eggs lee;
light hens 2sa25c; heavy hens
27a2Se; old roosters 12@15c;
springs over pounds. zoe.
Butterfat: Butterfat 42e;
creamery butter crosse.
Wholesale Prices
Vegetables: oregon onions Use
GS1.00 cwt: California onions
|s1.T5 ewt; bsets S2.0O ewt: let
'tace Imperial valley $500: turn
Capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1919-1980, 1921-03-25

wait only until the ciose u ue'
he was in such hurry TO
o,nture a hen. The sun had
scarcely sunk out of sight IN tne
west and the sky was still reu'
when he crept slyly up to Far-
mer Green's hen-house.
Tommy had heard that Far
mer Green went to bed very early
after working hard in the L'sids
each day. And since he saw no
body stirring about the place ne
thought that everyone was
asleep.
The hens were asleep. There
was no doubt OF that. Peeping
inside their little house, Tommy
could see them roosting in rows.
And he lost no time in squeezing
through one of the small ~oors.
He felt a bit timid, once he was
inside. And for a moment he al
most wished that he hadn't come.
But he was determined to take
hen home with him; so he
reached up and grabbed the very
first hen he came to, on the
lowest perch of all.
1t was a big, old, white hen
that Tommy Fox seized. Shs
awoke the moment he touched
her, and began to sQuall. And
to Tommy's alarm, all the rest
/ of the hens heard her and began
to cackle loudly. The noise was
deafening. And Tommy made a
dash for the little door, with old
Mrs. White Hen in his mouth.
She was flapping her wings and
kicking as hard as she could. And
Tommy was dismayed to find
that he could not get her through
the narrow door. Every time
he tried to push through, one OF
Mrs. White Hens legs, or wing
or her head, struck against the
edge of the doorway.
Then a dog barked. And Tom
my heard something running
around the chicken-house. He
just knew that it was a man,
And he dropped the old hen in
hurry and slipped through the
door.
He was just in time. He heard
man shout, after him, Spot!
And giving one frightened glance
over his shoulder, Tommy saw
that Farmer Green's dog was
close behind him.
Mrs. Fox 0utwits Dog Spot
Poor Tommy Fox! How he
wished that he had obeyed his
mother, and kept away from Far
mer Green's hen-house! Now
Farmer Green's dog Spot was
chasing him. Tommy could
hear him baying joyfully as he
followed. But you may be sure
that Tommy was not joyful. He
was terribly frightened. He
could think of nothing to do ex-
cept to run, run, run! as fast as
he could go. He was headed
straight for home, and he only
hoped that he woud get there be-
fore the dog Spot caught him.
Now, Tommy was doing just
about the worst thing he could
do. He never once jumped side
ways, or ran around in a circle.
And though he might have waded
a little way In the shallow brook
in the meadow, where Spot would
have lost his trail, Tommy used
the bridge to get across the
stream; so the dog Spot had no
Capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1919-1980, 1921-03-25

ed 900; clover SIC; cneat $22@
90.
Wheat: Hard white $1.S9; soft
white $1.36; northern spring
$1.31; white club $1.35: hard
winter $1.32; red Walla $1.31.
Capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1919-1980, 1921-03-25
Loganberry
Laughs
By Robert Quillen

o-~-o-S-S-o-s-S-
sneaking of infant prodigies,
here is Americas dye industry.
A physician says women are
.ott,ne taller. And men look
onger.
Ancestors are great consola-
ion to people who don't amount
anything.
Surfing is the modern Good Sam
ritan after one has taiieh aHiohs
oal dealers.
The only successful effort to
lodge death and taxes was maue
" John Barleycorn.
blood is thicker than water, but
il probably isn't thicker than naval
competition.
The travelling salesman has
gloomy days when he figures that
he could at least stay at nome
Ind take orders from his wlfe.
At that. men adjust their ties
n public about as often as women
tdjust their faces.
IT'S getting to where you can't
ind anything fresh in a grocery
store except the clerk.
AS spring approaches, one Won
ders what the frogs have to croak
tbout. They are full of hops.
John Bull is not without a sense
" humor. He has not yet accused
he Irish of base ingratitude.
Honest men will never eradicate
rooks while officials of the law
,bserve a strict neutrality.
II appears that California over
looked a bet when she failed TO
make that law applicable to Yap.
may plead for the return OF the
ive-cent lump.
To Europe: 1--WE have a new
President, to be sure. but the same
I'D prejudice land grabbing"
Nothing Is wasted. The ex-
uh
he income tax blank can be used
IN the umpire.
One suspects at times that
statesmen consider our motto. I'm
Sod we trust" a violation of the
,nti-trust law.
The censors always clip the film
lust as the disrobing begins, and
me wonders what they do with
he strips they cut out
With so many conflicting div
orce laws, it may yet be necessary
change the system and let peo-
lie take one another on probation
II is all very well to say that
YOU can carry drink in foun-
taln pen. but IL ii is anything like
nix. how are you going to get it
out?
The old boys can remember
Fhen wild women in street car
lival tent did a combination Of
the shimmy and the toddle. but
they called it by another name.
What" asks pargrapher,
"has become of the sick man IF
Europe?" He has been given a
passport and wished on America.
For the sake OF his own peace
If mind, we hope Mr.. Harding
will refrain from asking advice
about appointment of postmasters.
1t must be rather embarrassing
for Mr.. Ford not to know what
his latest opinions are until the
first copy of the paper is off the
press.
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