davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1921-05-23
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LUKE M'LUkE SAYS

II the summers get hotter and the
winters get colder. and the bed gets
harder, and the steak gets tougher
every year, you're getting old. old boy.
you're getting old!
Some people don't know when to quit.
wnile others know too much about
quitting.
Sport shirt fans won't believe it. But
mans Adams apple is the only thing
that is as ugly as womans elbow
Some firms that have business man
ayers haven't any business to manage.
After man quits smoking he won
oers what becomes of all the money
he was going to save by quitting
Another reason why we have so much
crime under prohibition is that lot
OF Fellows are trying to keep up a
whisky gait on a buttermilk salary.
Judging from the number Of divorces,
modern couples take each other for bet
ter or worse, not for good.
girl can do lot of things artisti-
cally. But you can bet that chewing
gum isn't one of them
Men are supposed to be smarter than
women But a woman can sharpen 4
pencil with pair of scissors.
girl doesn't have to be single to
look like she was disappointed in love.
Oftener than not she's married.
1t costs to live In a big city. If you
want cheap rent and cheap taxes go to
town that has wooden awnings in
front of the stores
Copyright l9310
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1921-05-23
From the New York Times.

From the New York Times.
I7T1HAT Roger Bacon conceived certain
scientific ideas far in advance OF
his time has been known ever since
the world came abreast of them. H. as
DR.. Newbold asserts, it can now De
proved that he made use of the telescope
the fact will be cheerfuly accepted. II
is even possible that he possessed MI
croscope and by means Of it discovered
the cellular structure of tissue and re-
corded the life history Of a fortified cell.
But when Dr. Newbold asserts that Friar
Bacon himself was five centuries in ad-
vance Of his time, and that if he had
made his discoveries known" the fact
would have put our scientific knowledge
centuries ahead of what it is today, y
credulity falters and is dumb.
No fallacy is more misleading than that
ideas and inventions, considered as iso-.
lated phenomena. rule the world-the
truth being rather that the general state
of knowledge and of material conditions
determines the fate of ideas and inven-
tons. Inc mecnanlcdl application ol
steam was known in antiquity to Hero of
Alexandria, but the chief profit derived
from the fact took the form of certain
miracles" wrought by Egyptian priests
to delude the faithful. The age of Hero
made use of steam according to its lights,
or darkness. In 1913 Spaniard and in
1915 an Italian are said to have used
steam as a motive power. But the profit
of their invention was even less sub
stantial than in ancient Egypt. Recent
search, however, has shown that steam
was employed, and to good purpose, in
Truth" lingo Jones used cloud Of vapor
to effect the apparition of goddess 1t
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1921-05-23
Convincing Proof of
River Rate Movements

6HHE self propeller Tuscaloosa on
u her recent trip up the War
rior from New Orleans carried more
freight for Atlanta than for Bir-
mingham, Tuscaloosa or any other
Alabama point. Atlanta's consign-
ment was 100 tons and Birmingham S
only 100.
This is not the first time that At
lanta has been the principle con-
signee of self-propeller load. That
fact goes to show that the advantages
Of shipping by the Warrior are ap-
preciated on the furthermost rim of
the favored territory. Mississippi
cities and a growing number of Geo.
gia towns are patronizing the line.
Montgomery is using the Warrior
route regularly.
The use Of the Warrior by the cities
most remote from it is the most con-
vincing proof of its being worth
while.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1921-05-23
ANTIQUITY IN INVENTION

was by a similar device that, in Shake
speare's Tempest" Prosperos masque of
spirits was made to melt into air, into
thin air" and leave not a rack behind =
that is to say not a Whit of vapor. Be-
ing artistic rather than industrial, that
age found a use for steam only in the
theatre Not all is grist that comes to
the mills of the gods. At any time the
world can accept only what it is prepared
to assimlate
DR.. Newbold is probably much nearer
the truth when he conjectures that Bacon
locked his discoveries beneath the seal
of six separate layers of cipher be-
cause he had truly pious fear of lift
ing a veil Intentionally placed by God
over human vision" Even SO, there are
folk today who believe that if it had
been intended that men should fly they
would have been provided at creation
with wings some of these pietists regard
the war as punishment for the sin of avn
alton. For all Bacons use of the tele-
scope, he believed fixedly in astrology as
the science of sciences-and many of his
followers shared the delusion including
Francis Bacon. Great as Friar Bacon 5,
discoveries may have been, enlightened as
was his scientific method, he had no con-
ception of the idea of progress; he be-
lieved with his time that the end or
the world was at hand, and he valued his
discoveries only as preparing mankind
fol- the second coming Of Chrit
In all this there is no belittlement OF
Dr. Newbolds discovery or of Roger Ba-
cons genius, only an effort to see them
clearly in perspective. In all ages men
have conceptions of truth and ideas OF
progress that are destined to futility, fall
ing upon alien soil.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1921-05-23

From the Cleveland Plain Dealer.
SN NINETY SIX per cent of the people
Jun of the Aland islands are of
Swedish language. BY heavy
majority they asked to be made a part
of Sweden. The Aland commission of
the League of Nations fully recognize
ing the cogency of this ethnic appeal
has nevertheless awarded the islands
to FINLAND.
At first glance this must appear to
be rather startling violation of the
principle of characterization. The
League of Nations commission does not
deny that it is violation of this prin-
ciple. But it holds that in the case of
the Alands there are considerations
more weighty than the expressed will
Of the people.
The Aland islands and Finland were
a part of Sweden up to 1909. In that
year they were ceded to Russia. For
over a century the Firms maintained u
certain measure of independence. hav-
in their own parliament and recogniz-
LII thS isoiidiloll SZdl do lHclT owl
hereditary monarch and not as mere
Russian overload. Early in the present
century the Russian government at
tempted to destroy Finnish autonomy
and to reduce the country to the status
of province of Muscovy. This at
tempt was somewhat modified before
the outbreak of the World war but
there was great bitterness between
Firms and Russians. Following the
downfall of the Car Finland declared
her independence, and no Russian gov
eminent has made serious attempts to
reduce the Firms to submission.
During the long period from 1909 to
1917 the peolpe of the Aland islands
never questioned their status as citi-
zens of Finland. The Swedish and Fin
nish elements were in complete accord
in their hatred OF Russia The declara-
ton of Finnish Independence and the
PRONUNCIATION of the doctrine of self
determination by the statesmen of the
allies stirred the Alanders to demand
separation from their Finnish comrades
and reunion with the ancient Swedish
motherland.
Because the Aland fisheries are vail
liable and because the islands have
many fine harbors, Sweden readily gave
ear to the plea of the Alanders and ad-
vanced formal claims for possession.
Stockholm alleged that the islands had
been stolen in 1909 and that in the gem
eral rcadjustment they should be re-
turned to their rightful owner. The
Swedish position was strengthened by
the strongly expressed preference OF
the islanders.
In ignoring both ethnic and historical
considerations and assigning the
islands to Finland the League of Ma
lions commission declares Itself to have
been influenced by the geographical
propriety of Finnish possession and
by the fact that both before and after
1909. while Finland was subject to
Sweden and subject to Russia. the
Islands we're considered part OF Fin
land. The commission felt' that the
union was too firmly established te
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1921-05-23
Right to Confiscate
Is Given Setback

T77HE Alabama supreme court in de-
u Gliding that railroad company
could not confiscate coal that is be-
Ding transported for delivery to third
party having a contract with the min
ing company producing the coal es-
tablished a principle of far-reaching
effect.
This rule will serve several pur-
poses. One will be the fake confis-
cation, confiscation that is on paper
only and done by a recalcitrant coal
operator who is holding back on con-
tract deliveries because he is secretly
serving higher-priced spot coal GUS
toners.
Unrestrained confiscation Of coal by
railroads confers on the carriers a
species of eminent domain that may
be easily exercised to the detriment of
business.
Confiscation is altogether drastic
and should be confined to the extreme
necessities of the railroads. The more
inviolate contracts are held the bet
ter for all parties.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1921-05-23

cealed and transported on the ground.
For Photographic work it is fully equai
to blmp and moreover, it can actually
be equipped with a giant parachute.
Long before the first successful plane,
inventors worked to produce hellcopter.
which in it's innumerable fantastic shapes
has been the Joke Of air craft men. These
took on every conceivable shape Of lifting
medium, of which, for time. the air
beaters-wings which closed on the up
stroke and opened on the downstroke like
a ducks foot-were the favorite effort
Even as far back as the middle ages,
Leonardo da Vinci planned and tried to
marked several efforts; and in 1903 Edi-
son predicted that the helicopter would
prove to be the ultimate successful type
of flying machine. Renard, Maxim and
Berliner each conducted exhaustive tests,
but without accomplishing any satisfac-
tory results. The record of failures OF
inventors, great and small, at last be-
came so long that when one ventured
the word "helicopter'' he was regarded
with almost pity. Helicopters were built
in almost every country-many in this
and some were as large as a fair-sized
two-story house.
But of the hundreds, none ever re-
manned in the air more than a few mo-
ments nor rose many feet above the
ground. 1t remained for Professor Kar-
tr;a to tt in, l,a fret
cess. The propellers, of course, are horl-
zontal. instead of vertical as in plane.
For domestic purposes it will be useful
in aerial photography, radio work, for
surveys on land and water, and for forest
observation and last and possibly it's
most general use-that for tourist obser-
walton and thrills at county fairs and
summer gardens.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1921-05-23
W. L. GEORGES CHOICE

From the Kansas City Star.
An English novelist, lecturer and
writer on life generally has visited
written of us. compared US with other
nations, estimated our greatness de-
plored our faults, smiled at our weak
ness and then gone home with his mind
made up on one point He would be
an American if he had to start all over
again. w. L. George writes in conclu-
sion that. considering his age and hab
it's he could hardly change residences
at this time:
But if I had to be born again, as 1
was born, of family that had no in
fluence worth anything, no money, no
lineage-if l had to make my way
again. as l had to, against difficulties,
such that at the age of rs all I pos
sessed was 800 of debts. we'll. in spite
Of all temptations to belong to other
nations. l should have felt that there
was only one place for young man
who wanted to tear from life full value
for his efforts: in spite of all tempta-
tions, should have been born an Amer
ican."
Not half enough of us realize the
special privilege of being born Ameri-
cans. The lot of every American is a
fair degree of equality Of opportunity.
He ought to appreciate this fact In or
der that he may become the citizen that
this peculiar fortune demands
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1921-05-23
No Lasting Injustice
In the Stacker List

a FTER careful consideration, The
~ Age-Herald has decided to pub
fish the war departments so-called
Stacker" lists for Alabama, the first
of which are released for today.
Controversy over the publication of
these lists has grown out of the fact
that a number of errors were con-
tanned in them and because it was a
grave injustice to a man whose serv-
ice record was honorable to be in
cluded in the ranks of deserters.
But the very fact that these errors
may exist in the war departments
records is prime reason for public
ity in order that the record may be
set straight.
Soldiers whose war records are
clear have no objection to publica-
ton. If their names have been acct
dentally included they know that pub
LEGATION offers the quickest means of
getting a correction at the war de-
partment.
Commander Galbraith of the Amer
lean legion urgently requests publ
cation; Alabama Legion officers think
publicity is the proper means of ap-
pretending real slackers and clear
ing the names of good men; the wal
department believes publication will
serve patriotic purpose.
With the advance knowledge that
some names may be wrongly includ-
ed, The Age-Herald urges its read
ers when such errors occur to notify
this newspaper promptly and full
publication will be given to correc-
ton of such errors. The Age-Her-
aid feels that the public owes it to
the boys who saw service to do their
part in clearing these records.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1921-05-23
Cannot Morris Avenue and
Truckers Get Topether

m OUNTY FARM AGENT H. L.
" BROWN has written The Age
Herald asking if the Morris avenue
dealers in farm products cannot de-
wise some system of quoting prices to
the farmers for their stuff. Prices
quoted in the newspapers on produce
are those charged the retailer by the
Morris avenue wholesaler. What the
trucker wants to know is the price
that will be paid him for bringing
his products to Morris avenue.
1t would seem feasible for the
wholesalers to comply with this re-
quest. AS it is, the farmer has no
inkling of the margin of profit Gus
tomarily demanded by Morris avenue.
The truckers and Morris avenue
ought to be able to get together on
this important matter.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1921-05-23
Greater Appreciation
of Pure-Bred Cattle

E5MHEN the first sale Of pure
WV bred Jersey cattle was held in
Birmingham in 1918, the average
price paid for the animals was $1O3.
At the sale Of the same class Of stock
last week the average was $1S6. The
highest price paid in 1918 was 5000
and the top price paid last week was
$3.50.
This represents a substantial in
crease in the appreciation of pure
bred stock. The most pleasing fea-
ture of the sale was the purchase of
many of these Jerseys by jefferson
county dairymen. That shows a COM
mendable desire to build up dairy
herds.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1921-05-23

"Stonewall" Jackson sucked lemons
and prayed before he fought. That
he fought we'll history acknowledges.
Drowning people chant hymns and
sing national anthems. Warriors en-
ter battle with bands playing the airs
of the fatherland.
Does a world at peace need some
of that approach to clearness of vision
that crises bring?
1t appears so.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1921-05-23

The BIRMINGHAM Az
love of Germany. France suffered
most during the war and is entitled
to recover more than any of her al
lies or associates, but Lloyd George
is fighting for Great Britain now.
Ideals, fraternity and all the lofty
sentiments that were brought out dur
ing the struggle against Germany
have been thrown overheard.
The new President of Cuba advocates
drastic reforms. However, he hasn't said
a word against cock fighting and horse
racing, so he may be able to weather the
storm.
A news item of no particular Importance
is the announcement that the League OF
Nations council has postponed its meet
ing from June to June II.
y 4 y
The jazz composer who was preparing
to write the Shakers Blues" had better
hold off a while until we find out who's
who.
Having popularized the encyclopedia,
Mr.. Edison may now resume his labora-
tory work with the assurance that he
started something.
Colonel Harvey didn't exactly take his
coat off at the Pilgrim dinner, but he
spoke as if he had also removed his
collar.
| Mr.. Harding may not be able to write
as we'll as Woodrow Wilson, but he gets
! along better with the boys"
y g q
Ex-Governor Cats says his political en-
emies won't let him alone. We are will
ing to concede that he has few.
/ AILGf b reviewer Leilb US WndL is liiO
best book of the week" he hasn't said
much.
| Something more than the English chan
mel divides France and England. but it
may not be as permanent.
T. - =
| The suggestion that the Irish people get
together has been made. They'd soon
have to be pulled apart
| r. s. u
That progressive widow" who says she
is a typhoid carrier probably collected the
insurance as a matter of routine.
| = e q
! 1t may be just coincidence that the
man charged with planting a bomb in
Wall street is an Italian.
s. y =
keeping in close contact with Gen. Baron
Pete Wrangel?
Vacant apartments in many cities have
chilled the profiteering ardor Of land
lords.
4 = Z
The most noticeable sound heard in
Washington just now is the chuckling OF
the "irreconcilables."
= y 4
illuminated" traffic cops should be OF
great assistance to illuminated" automo-
b1lists who are usually that way at night
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1921-05-23
END TO "HOTEL OF KINGS,

From the Continental Edition Of the
London Mail.
The Hotel Bristol, nicknamed The
Hotel of KingsC and considered the
most select in Paris, Is now no more,
but the remembrance of brilliant and
picturesque past. Founded in 1857 by
British subject, Mr.. Morlock, whose
son is still the head of the firm, the
hotel soon after the war Of 1870 was
patronized by King Edward VII, then
Prince of Wales, whose photographs
with autograph signatures can be seen
in the hotels salons, some from his
early youth when he wore a square
black beard. and others belonging to a
later period with the small pointed
beard which gave so much finesse to
his humorous smile.
King George of Greece, King Leo
pold of Belgium, both dubbed "old
Parisians." Queen Alexandra, King
George and Queen Mary. the King OF
the Belgians and many others have
been among the royal guests of the
Bristol. And there 1T was too. that Don
Carlos. King of Portugal, was intro
duced to his future bride, Princess
Amelie. by the then Prince of Wales.
An American bank is now moving into
the historic building.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1921-05-23
ELUSIVE LLOYD GEORGE
n the Pittsburg DISPATCH

From the Pittsburg Dispatch.
A number of well-known gentlemen
in Europe who flattered themselves
that they could tell where to find
Lloyd George any time they took the
notion, are somewhat annoyed at pres
ent at the result or thu test Of their
confidence
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1921-05-23
Natural Antipathy Between
Great Britain and France

Great Britain and France
6HHE menace of Germany brought
u Great Britain and France to-
gether. Selfish interest in dividing
the spoils of war has driven them
apart. The rift may not grow wider
and it may not be permanent, but
serious differences have developed
and the old distrust between the two
nations is apparently as strong as
ever.
Nations, like individuals, are in
fluenced by their environment. France
and England have been natural enc
mics for centuries. High sounding
words and an interchange of compli-
ments by ambassadors and premiers
do not alter conditions which are fixed
by the geographical locations of two
countries and by trade rivalries.
The spectacle of the British and
French premiers engaged in a contro-
versy over Upper Silesia is not en-
couraging to the peace of Europe,
but it is the inevitable result of Great
Britain's desire to dominate Europe
industrially and the ambition of
France to play a similar role by re-
ducing Germany to the position Of an
economic vassal. The situation is still
further complicated by Frances fear
Of a rehabilitated Germany seeking
revenge for her loss Of the World
war. That fear is real and is justi-
fled. 1t creates sympathy for France
that would be denied her, if she were
prompted altogether by greed.
The American government stated
that it would take no part in the
Silesian affair because it is strictly a
local quarrel in which we have no
right and no cause to interfere, since
we are not member Of the League
of Nations.
Since the armistice was signed
Great Britain has baked Frances
plans to cripple Germany, but not
through any humane motive or any
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1921-05-23
THE ALAND JUDGMENT

warrant it's dissolution INN ediatey
upon Finland's realization of complete
independence.
The commission makes stipulations
which, it is understood. Finland is
ready to concede. Swedish is to remain
the language of the islands. and is to
be the only language taught in the
schools. The Alanders shall have
dominant voice in the selection of their
governor. The people number only a.
900, and it is held by the commission
that so small unit is well cared for
by the stipulatio and is scarcely
large enough to command more favor
able consideration on ethnic grounds.
The decision is perhaps the mos. i'm
portant that has been definitely rem
dered by the League of Nations. 1t is
peculiarly interesting to Americans be-
cause Abram Elkus, former American
ambassador at Constantinople, is one
of three members of the commission.
THE BATTLE OF THE KEYHoLEs
From The Old Soak and Hail and
Farewell" Just Published by Dou-
bleday, Page & Co.
The keyholes to the right of me
Were dancing of jig,
The keyholes to the left of me
Were merry as grig.
The keyholes right before my face
Were drunk and winked at me-
And 1 stood there alone-alone!--
With one
small
key.
They frightened me, they daunted me:
1 turned back to the stair,
And faced nine keyholes pale and stern
That lay in ambush there.
Six keyholes on the ceiling sat
Eight keyholes on the door,
And seven saddened keyholes lay
Hiccoughing
on the
floor.
crawled through one. I crawled
I crawled through keyholes three
And then l saw a vistaed mile
OF keyholes waiting me.
Il will not crawl another yard
Through keyholes. though 1 der
Oh. when my fighting blood is up
Turk
am
I!
They leapt at me, they flew at me.
They whstled as they came,
They gritted of their cleaning teeth.
They stung and spurted flame;
put my back against the floor
And fought 'em calamity
But what could anybody do
With one
small
key?
Keyholes at the front Of me,
And keyholes on the flank
And as they rushed at me | smelled
The liquor that they drank;
Keyholes on my spinal cord
And keyholes In my hair
And with "Heave together, boxsl"
They rolled
me down
the stair.
1t bumped me some. it bent me some
1t broke nose or two
And when the milkman came he said,
What Kaiser Belgiumed your"
says to him. 1T might have beea
The same with you as me
II you, like me. had had to fight
gang Of keyholes all last night
With one
sn4afi
keyi"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1921-05-23
Praying Jury and
q Reprimanded One

A JE F FERSON county jury
~ went down on its knees and
prayed for Divine guidance in it's
judgment Of a fellow man. A Tus-
caloosa jury was reprimanded by the
presiding Judge for having returned
verdict that was "a disgrace to the
county"
No jury that copsults the Creator
before pronouncing judgment will err.