The Coconino sun., 1921-09-23

: and the rule was that only one match could be used for the bunch all day. It was struck in the morning and one or two lighted pipes from it, then gave lights to the others. From then on someone in the crowd had to have 1, light in his pipe. As George was , the youngest and newest member of the gang the others held him pretty , much responsible for the light, which meant that he had to smoke every minute of the time.
 The following is from an old Santa Fe newspaper-how old is best left to the imagination, as Frank Keeffe, the Rabbit general merchandising chief who is the hero of the article, may be somewat sensitive about his age. Anyhow, the clipping is from a newspaper that certainly wasn't printed yesterday, nor last year. It was dug up by B. w. Dawes from some library of antiques and reads:
 Those who have watched the out field of the All-American team have always taken great interest in lit- tie fellow, who cavorts about left field. When flies or liners are sent hurtling to his corner of the diamond pasture the grandstand looks for some clever work and usually the Midget" for such is the fan title applied to Left Fielder Keeffe, seldom fails to pro- duce. It is said that when mere in fant he displayed unusual skill in the matter of catching flies while sitting near a window. As youth he had great love for batter-cakes, though | this may not account for his ability with the stick. If reports be true, Keeffe came to his title of Midget" rightfully. It is said that once he was called upon to make an after-dinner speech and that after he had risen to respond someone at the other end of the table was mean enough to ask the toastmaster to request MT. Keeffe to stand up while speaking"
 That's so, Judge, I was drunk all right" man admitted to Magistrate S. B. Gilliland last week. q don't deny it, Judge. I've got a sick wife at home, terrible sick; nobody to do for her but me. haven't had my clothes off nor laid down for four night. I just had to have bracer last night, and took little too much. The wom- ans all alone in our camp, Judge. I'll have to get back to her right away"
 That's queer," replied the magis-. trate. "I received letter from your wife and she asks me to soak you good and if you don't pay your fine to keep you locked up as long as possible. She says you have been drinking un- til she is tired of it."
 The man looked at the judge in as- tonishment for a moment, then blurt- ed out:
 Say, Judge, there are two awful liars in this room, and I'm one of lem. l ain't got no wife"
 A few years ago they had a clerk for a short time at the Arizona Lum- Der X Timber Go. offices who was more of nuisance than a help. His chief ability was in making mistakes. One day he scratched his face on a wire desk basket and not having any thing else, stuck three postage stamps over the scratch. Later he was call ed into the office of M. J. Riordan, secretary of the company. Mir. Rior- dan gazed long and fixedly at the
 
 about them and stammered: Any thing wrong, sir?"
 "Yes, sir, there isl" answered Mir. Riordan. "You are carrying too much postage for fourth-class matter"
 Judge J. E. Jones says that back in Arkansas, near the Texas border, in reconstruction days a white man was arraigned before justice of the peace for killing a man and stealing his mule. There was some rivalry between the two states, but the justice always tried to preserve an impartial frame of mind.
 "We's got two kinds of law in this yer cot" he said, "Texas law and Arkansas law. Which will you have?"
 The prisoner thought minute and then guessed that he would take the Arkansas law.
 q discharge you fo' stealin' the !. mule, an hang you fo' killin' the man."
 Hold on a minute, Jedge," said the prisoner. Better you make that the Texas law"
 "All right" agreed the judge. "Then I fine you fo' killin' the man, an hang you fo' stealth the mule"
 Frank Hanley, reading in Whiz Bang about man that was so quick he could turn out the electric light and then jump into bed before the room got dark, says he used to be quicker than that before he got hurt through being too quick. Frank saw a woodchuck about a hundred yards from him sitting beside his hole, Frank shot the animal with his rife, then threw the rife down and dashed for the woodchuck to catch it before it fell down into the hole. But he get ahead of the bullet and just as he. reached down to grab the woodchuck he got the bullet between the shoulder. blades. ''''
 Speaking of Guy Longley's new mustache, we heard one of the flap. ners say the other day that if tickled