The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1921-02-15


istic journal" is SO effective in bringing forth
Leaf contributions like the foregoing we're
tempted to start similar department. We
have one regret and that is that "Melampus. "
who probably lives in Cleveland, Ohio, will not
see the lines written in his defense.
PETER will be sorry to learn that the fore
going verses and paragraph were removed
from yesterdays colyum to make room for his
billy ducks But If by any chance he isn't
sorry for his sin of procrastination we may
find opportunity in the future to make him so.
Great Idea! Here's Our Chance to Get
Even With tho Kaiser!
- (F'rom the New York Trlbune).
Sir: Apparently Root, Wood and
Hoover will not be in the cabinet.
What's the use of your common sense, -
splendid editorials? Democracy is q
mess. What this country needs is
good king. MALCOLM M'BURNEY.
East Islip. L. l.. Feb.'7.
TAKE 1t from the ad in the Moline Dis
patch Anna Eva Fay gives "a performance OF
inexpilcable' wonders" Since Anna knows
everything the Dispatch might send reporter
to inquire the meaning Of "inexpilcable."
FOR sALE-Tw1N-1ND1AN: ALSO CO.
cart.-The Argus
Ii you'll throw in the other papoose we'll
take the lot
Then Actually the Judge Has No Chancei =
Canton Corr. Peoria Starr
Judge c. e. Chiperfeld candidate for
the Republican nomination for supreme
Judge, went over in the west part of the
district Friday. His friends generally
view his prospect for success As very
f1attering.
IF the anonymous contributor who has .
sister named Mary will supply a. nom de
plume for his offering we'll printit Not that
We couldn't pick one; we merely concede that
contribs have SOME rights.
JOKES THAT AMT FUNNY IN REAL
LIFE"
Sir: One Of lfes little jokes that Is funny
only in the newspapers is lifting ashes" espe-
cially when you have to lift them clear up from
the cellar and into the alley And that, too.
when you have just received a spook message
for The Tombstone and are dying to spend q
giddy half-hour at your typewriter
However, having done the lifting and spent
several revivifying hours with the pulmotor.
the vacuum cleaner and the street sprinkler,
you do at last come to, but only to find all
your ghostly glimmerings out of date.
For instance, there was that limerick con-
test We fully expected to be invited to do
days work on the column when We sent in
ours. We ha0 TAKEN our paper and pen ana
tried four or five times or ten, to do a smart
trick. write bright limerick but we'd utterly
failed. even then. And now it is forever too
late! LIFTING ASHES. A JOKE.
"A. CAPR1CCIO.
THE limerick contest, while not exactly
ended, sort Of died Of 'inanition-or maluutri-
ton, arterio sclerosis, anamia Orwell. any
thing you please. But il our friend Capreech'
has regular limerick crying for air let M say
that limericks are not barred: only finish q,
yourselves. We're being overworked as 1t is.
dahgunit!
ADD FOOLISH FOIBLDS OF FEATHER
HEADS"
Sir: Speaking OF light occupations reminds
no Of a. man who once bought COW, killed
I, stuffed the CARCASS and then every time he
got angry would 90 and kick the stufine out
II the dumb brute" IT. N. T.
THE stuffed-cow idea isn't bad one 1t
hat Might be . good thing for Us to try;
hen perhaps we'd stop beating our wife.
REP. wELTY would "fmpeaeh" Judge
lAndis for "hifh crimes and misdemeanorS,"
lot to mention few others q lesser iaiauity.
WHEN the Judge gets through lashine him
le1l b - velty - his moniekr.
=. T. Ea