Atlanta tri-weekly journal. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1920-19??, 1921-04-07
DOROTHY DIX TALKS
Mother Se1fishneSS
BY DOROTHY DIX
Copyright. 1920. by the Wheeler Syndi-
cate, Inc.
WoMAN,s husband died. leaving hs
BY DOROTHY DIX

A WOMAN'S husband died, leaving her
~ with little girl baby and no money
By almost incredible labor and sacri-
fees this mother cared for her little daugh-
ter and educated her, and had her taught
good profession.
The girl we'll repaid her mothers sacri-
fees. She grew up into beautiful and in
telligent young woman, devoted to her
mother, and deeply appreciative Of all that
the mother had done for her.
Now, alas, comes in the tragedy. The girl
has gone the way of all feminine flesh. She
has fallen in love with a worthy young man,
and the mothers heart is broken. She thinks
the girl should stay single and take care Of
her, and complains of her loneliness because
her daughter and her beau go off by them
selves
"My daughter and have been everything
to each other for twenty-five years. walls
the mother. ''Why should she desert me
for a man she hasn't known six months?"
That is the riddle of the ages. 1t is the
question that each successive generation of
parents have asked, and to which life gives
no answer except to say that it is just nature
Just the mating instinct that is stronger
than anything else in the world Comes a
stranger whistlng through the corn fields"
some girl gets up and follows him to the
ends Of the earth, and she really knows no
more why she does it than her mother knows
Perhaps there is no other thing in the
world that is so hard for parents to realize,
as the fact that while their children are all
sufficient to them, they are not enough for
their children. A mother can so completely
absorb herself in her daughter, that she liter
ally has no life outside Of the girl She
wants no amusement better than just being
with Mamie Her idea of perfectly hilari.
Gus evening is spending the hours between
dinner and bedtime in heart-to-heart talks
with Mamie.
But does Mamie entertain the same SEN
timents towards Mother? Far from it. She
may be a good, dutiful daughter, who gives
Mother good deal of her time, and drags
Mother round with her to places of amuse-
ment, but no matter how much she loves
Mother, the society sho Graves consists of the
boys and girls of her own age. She has q
million interests apart from Mother, and
when she pictures her future, 1t doesn't con-
sist of tete-a-tete with Mother. At the
most, Mother is just side issue with her.
Mother is not the whole thing to her, as she
is with Mother.
And when Mamie falls in love, Mother
takes a seat very far back, indeed. 1t 10
not that Mamie loves Mother any the less.
IT is only that she is fulfilling her destiny
as woman, which makes the vital interest
of her life the building of her own nest, in
stead of remaining in the home nest where
she was Mothers cherished little birdie.
Many mothers weep bitter tears over this.
Rather should they rejoice. Every Mother
should be glad when her daughter is abb
sorbed in her husband. Every woman, who
has ever been married herself, knows from
experience that only deep and absorbing
love enables any woman, or man, to endure
the faults and foibles, the peculiarities and
ways, of their life partners. Surely no woman
can wish her daughter to be unhappy in her
marriage, yet there is no surer sign that
marriage has been a failure, than wom-
ans clinging more to her mother than she
does to her husband, and turning to her for
sympathy and comprehension than to him.
It is granted that it is hard on the Moth.
err who has given the work OF her hands,
and the love of her heart to her daughter,
to see her fall in love and marry, but what
would the Mother have? II she loves the
girl as she thinks she does, surely she wants
to see her Apply, to know that she has
someone to cherish her and protect her, and
stand between her and the hardships or the
world. Surely she would like to see her set
tied in home of her own. Surely no Moth
er is selfish enough to desire to doom her
daughter to lonely and forlorn existence
where she must struggle on for her daily
bread Just because she desires to monopo-
lie the girls affections and interests.
''But why be in hurry?" says the Moth
er "Why can't my daughter wait? Let her
give me few more years"
The Mother deceives herself. The time
ing to step down and out. Nor can the girl
wait Cupid is not lackey to be ordered 10
report at a given hour. He comes and goes
as he pleases, and one must take love at 1ts
flood tide, or not at all.
IT is the Mothers place, then, to relinqulsn
the center of the stage when the real nero
of the girls drama steps into the spotnghl.
1t is a crime for her to try to keep ner
daughter from marrying. 1t is cruel tnlns
for her to mar the girls happiness by max
ing her feel that she has to offer up ner
Mother as a sacrifice on the altar OF hel
love.
I go even further than this. [ think that
a Mother should love her daughter not only
we'll enough to let her marry, but she should
love her we'll enough not to go and live with
her after she is married, If there is any
possible way in which this can be avoided.
Every woman in the world knows that a
mother-in-law is disturbing element IN any
home, and that there is no young couple that
does not desire to be alone. Every woman
knows that any young couple starting QUIZ
alone has far better chance OF making a.
success of matrimony than they have II han
dicapped by third party.
Therefore, a woman who wants to secure
her daughters happiness can do no greater
thing for her than by refusing to saddle
herself to the newlyweds, and the fact that
she will be lonely without Mamie, or that
she has no interest in life except Mamie, does
not alter her position in the case.
OF course, all of this calls for an enormous
self-sacrifice But sacrifice is the middle name
of motherhood.
Copyright, 1921, by the Wheeler Synoi'
cate, Inc.)
OIJIPS AND IOUIDDITlES