Omaha daily bee., 1921-07-10
The HUSKING BEE
Its Your DAY.
Start It With a Laugh
THE MILK AND ICE FUND.


Be plentiful and free,
And little children suffer not
Unjust mortality.
Let pity dwell in every breast
Nor let the call come twice
That children by the heat oppressed
May have sweet milk and ice;
We need these babes as much as they
Need us-so do not wait, $685..
To put it off another day
Maybe day too late.
PHILOSOPHY.
The best time to start tomorrow's task is
today.
- -
How To Invest $4,000" heads trust COM
pany ad
The method involved in investing $4,000, we
take it, is somewhat similar to that given in the
W. k. recipe for making a rabbit pie.
First catch your rabbit
Money is close, It's said, oh gee, and that's
the way we love it, but it isn't close enough so
we can reach great deal Of it.
o. PLL GO, CAPTAIN.
Intoxicating Gas May Be War Weapon
Headline. But when they see it coming won't
the soldiers throw away their gas maskse
son is usually a firm believer in heredity.
NO PROHIBITION JOKES.
1t would be hard blow to the humorists and
cartooners if the country should go wet.
You can't believe everything you see in print
nowdays-especially on labels.
Bad eggs may, in way, be responsible for
tough chickens.
IRA LA LA, HEIGH HO.
The mosquito is cheerful bird
That in the shadows lurk,
He always does-or so I've heard,
Go singing to his work.
The gas dentist gives you when he extracts
your teeth doesn't deaden the pain that comes
when he extracts your hard-earned money.
X
Never allow yourself to hurry" sagely ad-
vises philosopher of the modern school of think
ers, in an effort to combat an evil of present day
life.
Still this advice, sound as it may seem, cannot
be followed to the letter under all, divers and
sundry occasions and circumstances
F'rnstance, supposing COOP gets caught out
in a large and treeless pasture whose only other
living occupant is an infuriated, fiery and
acrimonious built looks to guy on the side
ll1S tildt oiu Mdu IluiIy WOuiu De one s DeSt
ally. For the nonce, at least, as the saying has it.
You tell EN- wrist-watch. You're near at hand.
r
Some men will swear to give up profanity
and then keep right on swearing.
BOUND TO ATTRACT HER.
Maud Muller on summer day
Raked the meadow sweet with hay,
With modern methods quite factor
The hdv rake was bound to a tractor
~
THE CAMELS ARE COMING.
Well, kids, with the glorious Fourth Topped
into the discard, the next event on the prospectus
is circus day-a great day for the father and
the other youngsters, but day when mortality
among our poor, overworked grandmothers is
expected to run high
Lucky is the lad who, although he must work
for a living, is endowed by nature with flock
of grandmothers one of whom can be relied upon
conveniently to pass away whenever there is a
ball game on or other doings necessitating the
boys absence from the scene of duty
Tomorrow the fathers of these youngsters
also will attend the obsequies and drown their
sorrows in glasses of sparkling, crimson-hued
lemonade and show their respect for the ele-
plants by Saying it with peanuts"
Of course father doesn't care anything about
the circus personally-of course not. He just
goes because the children expect it.