The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1921-03-02
ON SECOND THOUGHT
BIZ JAY =. HOUSE,
fHron Philaaslphia Puklle LedsssJ
A Letter to Mr.. Harding.
IN WARREN C. HARDING,

HON. WARREN G. HARDING.
Washington, D. G.
Friend Warren-Probably you will
be surprised on account of me Writing
think of it they are not nothing un-
usual about it. 1t would be unusual II
l did not write you a letter. because
then l would be the only man In the
U. S. who had net wrote you, but as
II Is they are not nothing unusual or
presumptious about it, Anyhow, / was
Just reading the New York Tribune
and 1t had pretty nigh a page of letters
from fellows who said they had wrote
you demanding that you appoint this
Gen. Wood secretary of war and If you
don't your administration will be a
failure and the. people will be heart
sick about it. Well, if them birds can
write you lean, because they dent know
you no better than and the chances
are they are net one of them who
has voted the Republican ticket since
1908, and if they can write to you and
tel you who You have got to appoint
secretary of war, I2uess a standpatter
who Never did scratch the ticket no
matter how hard it was to swallow,
mas got right to tell you he don't
want anything and it don't make no
olfference to him who you appoint
secretary of war OF anything else. Well,
know you are not going to appoint
TINS Gen. Wood, but If you wanted
reasons for not appointing him I could
Nglve you at least fifty. One of them
is that he did not get on to the band
wagon in Chicago soon enough All he
as 1t went by, and that is as close as
he ever got. And another reason is he
has net got no sense of humor. You
believe it or not, But made the
funniest speech 1 ever made in my
life right at table where this Gen.
-
cracked smile. Everybody else was
holding their sides on account of them
aching from laughter, but you'd of
thought the way this Gen. Wood looked
he'd just heard from the Michigan
primaries. Well. the other IS reasons
don't matter, because If a man has
not got a sense of hufnor he can not
appreciate our army in times of peace.
and what good would a secretary OF
war be who could not appreciate his
own men. Anyhow, I have looked the
situation over and 1 figure they are
not over 500 people in this u. S. who
cares whether Gen. Wood is appointed
or not. so don't you let the New York
Tribune worry you.
was going to write you this let
ter yesterday, but l happened to read
the Sunday paper, a thing very sell
dom do, and I noticed this Ring Lard
said to myself if 1 go ahead and do it
today they will say am stealing this
Lardner's stuff, and that L would not
do because this fellow Lardner nearly
broke up my home once on account
of my wife laughing herself sick over
his stuff. I seen her laughing and I
said. what is so funpy?" and she
said, 81 am reading Mr. Lapdner's ar
tiele and it is very amusing" And !
said to her. "Yol are a newspaper
mans wife and ought to know enough
not to call ANYTHING in the paper an
article and / have seen this Lardner
and he is a big dub" Well from
! that 1T went from bad to worse as IL
always does, and she threatened to
leave me, which is her favorite jest,
But after thought 1t over l eonclud-
ed nobody would accuse me of steal
ing Lardner's stuff. no matter what I
done, because while William Shake
speare and Lord Byron both had their
detraetors, you never heard nobody
accuse them OF stealing the others
stuff. ,o
While have pretended not to know
you no better than the fellows who are
| writing to the New York Tribune and
| claiming to be Republicans, compared
with them l expect l am mighty near
| a bosom friend. / am always spring.
| ing surprises on people and this Is
one OF tHeHl pcl rave hcdru
| "Pete" McLain AID .'Dick" Taggart
talk about you a thousand times. Ade-
| laide and I was practically married
from "Pete's"s house. pete" and
Ann did not know nothing about it
! til it was alrover and had been sem
fenced for life, but we started from
"Pete's" house and finished there.
And so, 1 reckon any friend of
.'Pete's" is your friend. too, unless
pete has been Sexaggerating. Ana
they are something else THAI will sur
prise you Adelaide visited at your
house once. Well. when the party