Atlanta tri-weekly journal. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1920-19??, 1921-06-30
AMERICA is O. K. DESPITE
HARVEY, SAYSNEAL O'HARA
BY NEAL o'HARA

\SOpy ll54iNS AVH1'J
No matter what Harvey says about
this country, it's a neat place of res
idence for a guy with brains. For
every flivver engine that knocks
once, Opportunity does it twice.
There are ways Of making money on
all sides and both hips. No one in
this land has to have credit at the
delicatessen store. Not while there
are so many inventions waiting to
be invented.
Think Of the things to be devised
for the public! Doormats without any
welcome" on them. Cigarettes with
out coupons. And, of course, perpet-
ual motion. Nobody ever discovered
that except in the family gas meter.
If you want to die rich and refined,
just invent something new. But make
something useful! Don't be like Her,
man Gubb, who invented the pett.coat
in 1871, got rich and famous in later
years and died pauper in 1920.
Why should scientists spend mil
lions trying to attract Mars atten-
ton when there is more important
work to be done at home? The guy
q
has 100000 customers waiting for
him now. The complexion in it's pres
ent form is not half SO fast as the
frille that wears it. Rain, tears and
wet lips will wipe it out like five
point margin. The modern complex
ion is also liable to crack and expose
the nude cheek to the jeering mob.
Another long-felt want is IL 1-2-
cent poker chip. Experiments are
| now being carried on.
A guy that will meet demand for
the unusual is the chap that produces
clothing dummy that looks like 1t
needs shave. The trouble with
look like chorus boys. No dummy
wants to look like that. They also
lack individuality, esprit and often
times SAVIOR faire. They look as
pleased in a $40 suit as in $50 over
alls. A beard would improve almost
any dummy if it covered enough of
his face. Everybody knows a cloth
ing dummy has no brains without
the face sculptor trying to prove IT..
. There is also a national craving
ignition and less safety. Statistics
prove that the 1920 output of safety
matches prevented more fires than
automatic sprinklers. The best safe
ty matches come via water from SWe-
den. Sweden makes 'em safe, but the
I
The more daring of our scientists
are now trying to discover nom
collapsib1e stock. When completed
and patented this stock will be some
thing like you can leave your heirs
without disinheriting them. 1t will
climb like burglar and stay up like
lodge brother with a sick friend.
/ Not subject to fluctuations when j..
F. Morgan has hay fever or when the
supreme court goes off on fishing
| trip. A stock that your messenger
boy will be proud to run away with.
Something that will permit a lamb to
wear sealskin.
Another long awaited improvement
is the LESS autobiography. That is
some thing that has never been done.
We have hooks, statutary and Vol
stead sleuths without eyes, but po-
tatoes and autobiographies-n
There is a big demand for the I-less
autobiography. Of course, it is recog-
nized that it is impossible to write
an autobiography without mention
ing ones self. That's why there
such r. demand for the I-less kind,
because it's impossible.
A guy that inventS an engagement
proof Irat pin won't die pauper,
either.