The Washington herald., 1921-01-09

But / reckon i wouldn't. i can
polish my finger nails all they need
myself.
After breakfast we went out on
the front porch, lighted up two Of
the landlords fior de upas perfectos,
and took A look at Georgia
The instalIment OF scenery visible
to the eye looked mighty poor. AS
far as we could see was red hills all
washed down with gullies and scat
tered over with patches of piny
woods. Blackberry bushes was all
that kept the rail fences from fall
ing down. About fifteen miles over
TO the north was a little range of
well-timbered mountains.
That. town of Mountain Valley
wasn't going. About a dozen people
permeated along the sidewalks; but
what you saw mostly was rain-bar-
rels and roosters, and boys poking
around with sticks in piles OF ashes
made by burning the scenery of
Uncle Tom shows.
And just then there passes down
on the other sioC OF the street a
high man in a long black coat and
a beaver hat. All the people in
sight bowed. and some crossed the
street to shake hands with him
folks came out OF stores and houses
to holler at him; women leaned cut
of windows and smiled; and all the
kids stopped playing to look at him.
Our landlord stepped out on the
porch and bent himself double like
a carpenters rule, and sung out,
Good morning Colonel" when he
was a dozen yards gono by.
And Is that Alexander, pa?" says
Caligula to the landlord "and why
is he called great"
That gentleman" says the land
lord. ''is no less than Colonel Jack
son T. Rockingham. the president of
the Sunrise & Edenvine Tap Rail-
road, mayor of Mountain Valley, and
chairman Of the Perry County board
OF immigration and public improve
ments."
Been away good many years,
hasn't hep 1 asKeI.
mo, sir; Colonel Rockingham is
going down to the postoffiCe for his
mail. His fcllow-Citizens take
pleasure in greeting him thus every
morning. The cclEnC. is cur most
prominent citizen. Bss'd-s the
height Of the stqc'; Of the Sunrise &
Edenville Tap Railroad. he owns a
thousand acres OF that land across
the creek. Mountain VALLEY delights,
sir. to honor a citizen of such worth
and public spirit"
For an hour that afternoon Cali
gula sat on the back Of his neck on
the porch and studied newspaper
which was unusual in a man who
y o n
he took me to the end of the porch
among the sunlight and drying dish
towels. knew that Caligula had in
vented a new graft. For he chewed
the ends Of his mustache and ran the
left catch Of his suspenders up and
down, which was his way.
What is it now?" asks. lust
so it amt floating mining stocks or
raising Pennsylvania pinks, well
talk it over"
pennsylvania pinks? Oh, that re-
fers to a contrasting scheme OF the
keystoners They burn the soles of
old women's feet to make them tell
where their moneys hid"
Caligula's words in business was
always few and bitter.
You see them mountains" said
me- pointing. ana you seen lndI
Colonel man that owns railroads and
cuts more ice when he goes to the
postofice than Roosevelt does when
he cleans 'em cut. What we're go
ing to do is to kidnap the latter into
the former, and infiict a ransom OF
$4,000"
'TnegaIity." says I, shaking my
head.
4 knew you'd say that, says Cali
gula. "At first sight it does seem
to jar peace and dignity. But 1t
don't got the idea out of that
newspaper. Would you commit as
PERSONS on a equitable graft that
the United States itself has condoned
and indorsed and ratified?"
kidnapping" says I, 'fs an i'm
moral function in the derogatory
list Of the statutes. II the United
States upholds 1t, it must be a re-
cent enactment Of ethics, along with
race suicide and rural delivery"
Listen" says Caligula, and I'll
explain the case set down in the