The New York herald., 1921-05-29
With Daylight Way
Snake and a Other


now that we have started taking our read
ers into our confidence, from the genera
tenor of this note we gain the distinct inn
preston that she not only likes what We
write but that we personally have made
a decided hit with her.
All of this is written really for the benefit
Of the Brooklyn man who recently COM
municated with our Sunday Editor to say
that our stuff was "all bunk" He discour-
aged us very much by writing this note ut
has ever been thus with those OF artistic
temperaments) and we were on the point
of saying to our Editor, "Ah, WELL II our
humor. which is of the standard brand, is
considered bunk in Brooklyn, and if our
Jokes. which we know good jokes De-
cause they have stood the test OF tme' are
not to be laughed at by our Brooklyn
friend, what's the use?"
Then came along this letter from the
young lady saying how highly she re-
garded us. and we have therefore deter
mined to continue writing for her sake ana
if only she will smile at what we write 1t
is absolutely immaterial to us what the
Brooklyn man thinks. He is to us as II he
were not The mental photograph we have
of him is a with the rim knocked off.
In the letter we have received from the
young lady she says:
THE last article you wrote was fine. !
enjoyed every word of it. even if l had
heard the stories before. 1t was we'll writ
ten and the book review is splendid and
original"
Now what about that? The very fact
that she had heard our particular stories be-
fore and still enjoyed them is proof posi-
tive of two things: The first is that she
has evidently been associating with some
extremely clever story teller and the second
is that she knows when story is we'll told
Speaking of a member OF her family the
writer says:
IT heard her laughing on the veranda
this morning and on looking out | dis
covered her enjoying your jokes. She says
she thought it was the best you had writ
ten"
Now, then, what will our Brooklyn critic
say in response to that? We rather mag
Inc that he is now willing to drop the sub
ject. However, let us be fair. The young
lady is probably biased in our favor Our
brand of humor doubtless went to him a
distinct shock. while the young lady has
had time to become accustomed to it. We
married her several years ago
w YELL let's forget the Brooklyn man
\A until next week because we have
some remarks to make about Day
light Saving We have developed plan for
daylight saving that will satisfy both sides.
1t will stop the complaint of those who
object to rising an hour earlier in the
morning Oet it be known that have a
decided leaning to that side OF the ques-
tion> and in addition it will be q distinct
saving of time.
If we succeed in putting our idea across
In this country we will Immediately offer
our services in settling the unpleasant re-
lations between England and Ireland, after
which the United States will doubtless seek
our advice about how to enforce prohibition
and then the Church Unionists will very
likely ask us to announce creed to which
all can subscribe With these things out of
the way we will as a mental diversion settle
a few minor questions like the theory Of
Relatively, existence of the Fourth Dimen-
sion and the Far Eastern Problem, rewrite
the Constitution of the League of Nations
and select New York's next Mayor.
These thoughts have come to us a re-
suit of reading in one of the papers that
England will this year set her clocks back
two hours instead of one hour. COR do they
advance them instead of setting them back?
We never can remember which IL isl Any
how when 1t is really o'clock in England
the official time will be Z o'clock Thus
England will be two hours ahead of the
world. Now, say that there are 50,000,000
persons in England. We don't know the
population and don't care to know about it.
All we want is number and 10000 900 will
suit just as we'll as the real population for
the purpose of making the point Now If
they save two hours day for each person
they will have made a saving OF 100.000,000
hours daily. This means a saving Of
4,166,666 days every day. or lii years
day. 1t figures into 333,300 years per
month, and by the end of the five summer
months England will have saved 1.666.650
years of time.
Can we hope to overcome such handicap
as that in our race for commercial suprem-
acy? 1t is unthinkable that we viii permit
IT, The thought doubtless overwhems you.
How, you ask. may we beat these English at
their own game? All well you may ask
how. But fear not our brain has solved
this problem.
The solution is to set our own clocks
back not merely a miserable little two
hours but full twenty-four hours. with
our 100, 100000 persons each saving twenty
four hours every day by the end of FIVE
months the aggregate would be something
stupendous. We would not only be saving
the time but those who object to getting up
an hour earlier (and we are among those
who do) could arise at their usual time with
the fun consciousness that they are work
Ing just as hard as every one else.
There is another thing that could be