The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1921-08-03

lHsRe LIES MANS ANCIENT ENEMY.
DULL cARE.l
VINO D'sisrEHs THe uNLoveo euss.
} sewAer.t
TODAY'S colyum is dictated to The Lady
Who Hates to Darn our Socks, who is able to
operate our beloved Elsie Smith almost as fast
as we can think. She has made claim to US
that she once an efficient stenographer.
We, however, have our own opinion-an opin-
ion feel it safer to keep to oursef
AT this juncture she has expressed curios-
ity TO when we are going to write some
verses. We are, We have intfmated, moth
ing if not obIiging.
A CRIPPLED BARD In THE THROES OF
DICTATI0N TO A WILLING BUT
WATERING STEN0G.
When gaze into those lovely orbs divine.
Apd watch those dainty fingers on the keys
Come on, old kid, think you're doing fine;
You're furnishing material for wheeze).
Each day my love for you grows stronger, yet
'Tis now SO strong it could not stronger
excuse me while light a cigaret;
1t soothes my ruft1ed nerveses, don't you
know.
Your kind assistance l would never fout,
AS stenog you're strictly up to scratch.
(Oh. darn the luck! this cigarets gone out
moment, please, I'll get another match)
I'd have to search through many wendrous
books
To find the words to speak my love for you.
Now listen dear, lay of those nasty looks!
The world need never know this isn't true.)
If you should die, dear heart, I'd be foFlorn.
No joy across my dreary days would fit.
(Why turn on that look of utter scorn?
If you don't like this job why don't you
auit0
CAT THIS POINT I AM BEGINNING TO
FEEL "SEECK'.-The Steneg)
RATHER than risk mourning further doctor
bills we shall devote the balance of this Abad-
don of Anguish to routine matters.
CARTOONIST MORRIS seems unaware of
the existence of the 18th amendment. He pic
lures Uncle Sam the good Samaritan sup
porting on his left arm a wan and weary
ragged stranger labeled Europe. while with
his right hand he applies flask TO the fainting
ones parched lips
In Which Florence Shakes Wicked
BamboOzler.
from the AnnaWan Ull) News
Mr. and Mrs. d. F. Barker, Mrs. Hugh
Slater and Uncle Louie" motored to At.
kinson last night to meet Florence Fer
guson, who was coming from Chicago
but she fooled them as she had BAN
boozled the conductor of No. 10 to stop
and let her off at AnnaWan.
MISTER HARMSWORTH fails to under
stand why his necktie should be described
polka dotted. Il understand the dot" he
says, but why the polka?' The Hearstaminer
asserts American dictionaries do not give the
origin Of 'polka-dot'. Friend Noah tells US
that polka-dotted fabric is one on which dots
of uniform size are regularly distributed. Cor
nell, an authority quoted by Webster. in writ
ing of the polka maZurka", mentions dotted
rhythms' in connection with the music there
for. What more does his Northcliffian nbs
want?
Considerable Attachment.
[From the Annawan 'IllD News.l
Perry Clementz. who has been con-
fined TO his room for the past 10 days
by attach of quinsy, is able to out
LICENSED to marry: Hugh C. COPYRIGHT,
81; Olive A. Prien, 81, Rockford.
The inference is obvious.
ADD SIGNS OF THE TINES.
Sir: In passing through Geneseo the other
day we saw sign reading thus:
"Offce-Davenport Times.
Equality Shoppe and Woman's Exchange.
Jean Titus.
Does that mean that said Times runs a
bargain counter exchange of women?
A. C. E. S.
SPEAKING of signs. E W. L. reports lamp
ing this one in Sorrento, ILL.,: Guns Jim Can
Fix Them & Saws.
Yes, About as Uplifting as Garbage Wagon.
Can answer to the Trib's Inqusitiye Reporter.)
Lynda Bell, 203S North Halstead -~
street, stenographer-I just crave to read
about big divorce cases. During the
Stillman divorce case 1 read the news
paper accounts of it daily. I find very
much pleasure in buying a paper and
then going home to read every word
about sensational cases. l think it is =
very uplifting for people to read about
divorce cases.
AS far as she has gone our stenog evinces
nothing save dsdain for our colyumstic die
taton. Perhaps we'd better utilize the brain
child of some else-Mrs. Browning frin-
stance. Then, too, she the stenog) will be-
come aware of the significance of sonnet
a la Mrs. Browning:
SONNET.
How do I love thee? Let me count the WAYS
| love to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of being and ideal grace
! love thee to the level of every days
Most quiet need, by sun and candle light
l love thee freely, as men strive for right
l love thee purely. they turn from praise
love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs and with my ehildhood's faith
love thee with the love l seemed to lose
With my lost saints / love thee with the
breath,
Smiles tears, of all nv Ifel And If Cod