davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-02-19
LUkn 1rIUIkn sAYs

The country won't know what real calamity and hellingeneral means un-
 til the housewives demand m eight
 hour day.
 Another damli once upon . time there was mother who dressed bet tcrsthan her unmarried daughter. Anyway, when girl returns | fel-
 lows love, 1t Isn't because she has no
 use for 1t.
 Many \ conceited husband who in- agines that his wife couldn't get along
 without him would be surprised If he
 Knew that he was merely endured for
 the sake of the children.
 If she Is rich and she is built that she is poor. and she is built that way
 Che is long and skinny. What has become Of tho old toned meek wife who assumed You kick me and I'll klss you" attitude toward her husband?
 The cheapest thing In the world iz happiness. And yet 4s people out oi |60 can't afford it.
 Patience isn't | virtue whom your neighbor is SO patient that he waits for tho sun to shovel off his sidewalk after big snow.
 Advertising your business builds it kup and adds to It And a4vertisinn your troubles hAs the same 9tfe6t. N A bully kets through life becadsi ke know6 that more pepple would rather be imposed upon than indulxa 1 In row.. i s .{ss 1 It II safe enoueh 10 pay. youisa thin9 meaningless comp llm6ntp But don't monkey with . widow uhlese xou mean bustpegs. N sss 'lls Even when she h n shapely as | bed slAt, . giri 5ust naturally lovea her figure. <.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-02-19
"A LITTLE LEAGUE ARGUMENT

{ soil. The league is for Switzerland, cer- tainly: 1t believes in her principles of nas tionaIity and right to maintain5 them buk if Switzerland does not allow ieagus
 troops In her territory there VIII p no moro ieagus breakfasts ordered in (Genevt.
 If ws didn't know the 'saeue Was m doins all the work of the oader oap'o- n,aey. xs might thing international af- fa,rs were being conducted quite on tho old reprehensible system of pringins nree.ure and that sort Of thing. and thst nations were still consuiting their oWn interests.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-02-19
ALnlAldnnA|


 Ameen Rihani. In "A Chant Of Myatiesf Games T. white ' co. New xetlk.) <, s Gods of the silsnoes etsll xsncnl heFine Tho dying eehQqs ef hsr lute' bs-
 moan.
 In canticlee of ssl1sn menetens. Her orient splendQr too soon vanish& And whils lIoa. suard hsr courts. sr.y Around her turquoise doNaea anA
 seo6ling blown From diutpnt 1ap&s to her hushe4 Y.a. sns sSs m iinssae .'ss l. nsr Tina enes nor vss.sl ilassts near n
 etteoms s3 Ehak 700 the sha6e2s of hsr crtn1s Aad. mssiss sf Alhansra's sil,zg of ssssssss III povss an Msftls 4 gs 's:s;:s II 2ss:;s.'s's # T; TT: TT
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-02-19
Thief Who Steals
 By False AnaIxsis

TT7 ARMERS and dairymen will ap- iU prove the course of the bureau lof pure foods and drugs of the state department of agriculture in it's de- cision to institute proceedings to con- demn two tons of cotton seed meal sold in Madison county which, it is claimed, analysed 8 per cent of am monia against guaranteed analysis of 2 per cent.
 Looseness in matters like this strikes at the very root of things. When man pays his money for fer tilizers, food stuffs and any other article whose value to him consists of certain chemical properties, if these chemical properties are not there his money has been taken from him.
 Not only is this kind of fraud plain robbery, but it is additionally worthy of severe punishment because the de- ception is hidden from the naked eye and the average unskilled buyer is unable to detect the wrong that is be- ing perpetrated.
 
 The farmers of the country have been greatly imposed on by fraudu- lent mill products and the tragedy of it is that it is so easily done. Here again we need the scientist, the man with the microscope and the testing tubes. The laboratory of the chemist is not only the worlds great creative machinery, but has become also its safeguard against dishonesty. xNosey neighbors'' ars charged with riflins mail bags In the Crcton. N. T.. postoffice merely to read the lstters of their fellow villagers. The man who han some vague notions of leading double life had better pot try it in Croton z
 If German-Americans. headed by George Sylvester vierecls. think they ean l'bftns about : restoration to Germany Of the ancient German province Of A. sace-Lorraine. they arc chasing another will-o' -the-wisp.
 Aviators who have been lost return to civilization on foot. on scg sleds and on horssback. Perhaps some imaginative airmen will soon bs telling the newspaper 1 boys that he returned on ! dinosaurus. The Value of yers Libre" Ia the head over an article published in . Kansaa City newspaper. In our estimation | ton of vsrs librs r worth less than ! Russian roubie,
 Several people have been discovered h Birmingham who have not read .'AGatu Street" Their color h good and they take nourishment regularly.
 z '
 The impeachment of Judse Landis viii itske place about ths time France and Germany embrace with protestations oi undyiag sfSsetio..
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-02-19
THE GIRL AT SEA From the Washington Star.

From the Washington Star.
 "Ignorance!'
 The speaker was an admiral who was discussing at ! dinner party csr- tain strlctures that had been passed upon the navy.
 w. " hs went on. smiling whim- sically. that armchair critic Is as ignorant as tho girl on the Cunarder.
 This girl, crossing U England. got friendly with one of tho ships officers. 2 young man Of z5 or so. The two were leaning side by side on the rail one day when the officer said:
 There goes four bells. must ask you to excuse mo. It's my watch be- low.
 oh. stop your kiddin,l' said tho girl Whoever heard of . watch striklng aa loud as thAtr 7
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-02-19

Senator Borah announces he will con- tiriue to do his own thinking He doesn't suspect that he may be a horrible ex- ample of doing $, shat very thing. Thursdays session of the House was as lively as session of the French Chamber of Deputies when the Gaiiic temperament is blowing off.
 + * F Judging from the indictments piled up against him, virginia's narcotic inspector seems to have been doing brisk business on the side.
 x * * The Pacific coast hears the rattle or the Jap sabre" but the eastern part of the country can't hear anything but jazz.
 Large numbers of Austrians are de- stroyins themselves without taking the trouble to joint suicide club.
 * x < If the next war is fought in the air it may not be necessary to get the boys out of the trenches.
 I. E E There is no getting around the fact that the literary admirals' are more often heard from than the other kind.
 x * So fast time flies, the sweet girl grad will soon be standing once more where the brook and river meet.
 # # # Sam Gompers continues to mix gloom with optimism. in about equal propor- tions.
 Y x x Admiral von Tirpitz gives us some good advice on building a navy. Just at pres- ent it may even be disinterested.
 # * * Brother Bryan offers p blanks To be- consistent, why not make it g?
 + F The people of Alabama have been asked to decide when is strike not strike
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-02-19
Borah Issues Warning
 to the President-elect

to the President-elect m RESIDENT ELECT HARDING l has been given notice that the tremendous republican majority in the House and Senate will not be wax in his hands for molding to his will. His first gentle suggestion to Con gress that it hurry up the appropria- tons 50 as to have them out of the way when he assumes office has all ready made the bristles rise.
 Senator Borah of Idaho has sounded the clarion note of opposition to White House hints, suggestions and advice. In clash with Senator Mc- Cormick, republican, of Illinois, the western statesman said:
 We have heard much criticism
 in the past few years of waiting
 on nod from the White House. WIS Soo fiteAo DSSiil aSSASSn VI a dicating not only it's own judg-
 ment, but it's own functions. Let
 me here say, without disrespect to < the President that I shall not ab-
 dicate my judgment any more
 during the next four years than
 have during the past eight
 This is the same as to say that whenever the position of the chief executive of the nation does not coin eide precisely with that of MT. Borah, the latter gentleman will deem it his Christian duty to assail his chief, rather than probe the merits of the two positions to ascertain if per- chance the President is right and he is wrong.
 The President -elect is put on notice that he will have no easy task in dealing with his subordinates. No man had more trouble with those un- der him than Lincoln. Washington's public career was no bed of roses. Cleveland and Wilson have expert enced the consequences of having the will and courage to do and say what they thought right.
 
 There are several kinds of repub- licans and the task of the President elect will be to keep that unwieldly and variegated host in order. City Names Zoning
 Area on Southside
 1.-THE city commission has declared Il a part of Tenth avenue, south, IS residential zone and forbidden the building of storehouses there. It is time that these zones were being es- tabhshed. Citizens, when building and buying homes, have . right to know f what they have chosen as a home neighborhood is to remain one. Residing and doing business in cities is different from living and do- ihg business on broad acres and with comfortable distances between. There eeeh individual has the opportunity to make his own surroundings. In d city the environment is made for one. For mutual convenience and decency all must agree on . standard and con xorm to it.
 *s*@
 BeIated Sale of
 Government Steel
 HE government is advertising the
 sale at auction of 100000 tons e& steel left over from the war 1t the 1oe Island shipyard. It is to be a6l6 under competitive bid. No price TT ksen fired. In the present state
 - steel market the pries realized
 IT be high. The government
 LII . ereat deal of money, whose % 5t hG naade ID in taxes.
 1 1teel III to be sold eventually.
 e qssstioa is why was t not seld
 eEs1 Why wes t not offered thia
 Isat ysar vhsn thsrs VII !
 R steel Fl over ths count1y
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-02-19

ANYTHING TO OBLIGE.
 Would you mind if read youi paper?" asked the brassy traveller.
 Not at all, sir,' said MT. Grunpson Would you feel more natural if I hete it and let you read over my shoulder
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-02-19
rlan lNAUGURAL GOWN.

From tho Nsshville Banner.
 Tho .secfet couldn't be kent Mrss; aardInEs Inaugural gown is to be n .ssndarme blue. charmeuse and chiffon trimmsd with stones. What II al1' means we arc unable to gay, but our |4ady readers will likely undsrstand.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-02-19
PERSEVERANCE

PERSEVERANCE
 From the Washington Star.
 The Duchesse de Clermont Tonnerre told at dinner in New York story about Pierpont Morgan.
 MT. Morgan" she began, "used to tell this story in praise of perseverance. You see, 1t appears that clerk had in view more responsible position at higher salary. He asked for refer ence. But MT. Morgan grunted
 "Tm too busy to write you q refer ence. Take this.' And he handed the young man a $so note and hurried out.
 when MT. Morgan passed through the office some time later the clerk was still there. He explained that $2o was of no use to him.
 "~Then have $4o.' said MT. Morgan. thrusting second note on the clerk and again hurrying out. Y "An hour or so went by. there was Ia loud knock, and the clerk thurst his head into MT. Morgan's sanctum.
 What! Aren't you satisfied yet the old banker growled.
 z" No, MT. Morgan. Even if you were to pay me $1oo-
 MT. Morgan drew out $6o more. made the clerk take the money, then waved him away.
 'But when the old man came to Ae- part that evening. there was the clerk sr +t.> o.,tn~ nfficn wvaf+tuw for hfr,4 still ss.s;, xss. sgs,s.ss,s
 MT. Morgan. he said. n care noth- ' ing for your money. What want is a reference,
 "'But I told you my time vas toe valuable
 That's just it. the young man in- terrupted. Here's $10O in new, crisp $2o notes. Now you just sit down and dictate me good reference. sir, and I'll pay you--let me see, 1t will take you about four minutes to dictate ii .-rI pay you at the rate of $25 a minute. Is 1t bargainr
 MT. Morgan accepted the money, he dashed over to stenographer and in moment he returned and handed the young clerk typewritten sheet that said:
 To Whom It May Concern: | J. Pierpont Morgan, do by these pres- fool if he leaves my employ and de- clines the third assistant manager ship at $4.50O year that I hereby offer him."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-02-19
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
DESTINED TO succuMR.

DESTINED TO SUCCUMB. What is the favorite game of the na- tives on this island."
 T don't know what their favorite game lis now. but it will soon be poker" Why so!"
 "A party of white men are headed in that direction
 LEAN PIcK1NGs. What became of the two reformers who announced that they would uplift Chisgersville?
 They said they were soin' to pastures new" replied Squire witherbee. "Meaning?" . Tn collections in this particular pas ture didn't justify 'em in stoppin' at our leadin' hotel, tn Eagle house.
 IN COMPARATIVE SAFETY. Does Mir. Peckton object to Mrs. Peck ton entering politics?'
 'Oh, yes; and rather forcibly, too.' "Ah! He has asserted himself at last. ? No. I'm afraid he does most of his ob- jecting- when he gets a sympathetic |crowd around him at his club LEG DISTANCE. How far out from town do you live ?'' Just an hours run said the athletic person.
 That's some distance on a train" T meant in gym suit"
 ANYTHING TO oBLIcE.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-02-19
A MORNING. PRAYER

thank thee, Lord, for the many friends who love me when the sun shines upon me, hut Q I thank thee most for the one friend who be- lieves in me when in failure grorc through the night. Amen.-M. $. B.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-02-19
LEG DISTANCE

That's some distance on a trs T meant in a gym suit"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-02-19
TIT , I.lIke cAsrelh

Fund fof the tower for tKe chine
 of ths Hixhlands Msthodist church iS 'GtqwipS; eald Alex wadSs 'and . |numbSfs okspeople who don't svsn sbss iens to the fhureh have a4pt ii chscls.
 'on6 Xopng man who Mxss witHin [ lb)oek 6f Tthe church rent i1t check flor 4to m other day. X hi tho l1tker n lWhich the check Was lnclosed, m stated that he dtd not bS1onG to the |cbuxchs but felt mt it would be eo Qic6 x&o m nj heA ou 6un61& nefuinr
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-02-19
DArnlnghana Insptres

livery ettixen ef Alabama should visit Birmingham eoeazicnally.- aaid Oliver J. Miles of Columbiana- T ds not say that because ! was raised in Birmingham and have friends and relatives there but became Birming- ham is an Inspiration to tho rent of
 Alabama. It is the livcliest place in the state. It growa moro rapidly and It pulsates with modern progress more |.than any other place.
 T enjoy the quiet life of Columbiana as a steady diet but always feel freshened and propder of my state when I have returned from | brief visit to Birminghan." <
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-02-19
Wanfs Celehrntfen

Letting an occasion like the semi- centennial Of Birmingham go without recognition will 1t seems to nc. bs ! loss to the citixes Of tho town if 1t is allowed" said. b. n llcwein x s~fhe cefcbration Of such an anni- versary by tho citixens Of any com
 munity tends to heiGh&en the pride of tho citixens In their community. nm | In faver Of ! great, big sclty-wide cele- hration. with every man. woman and child co-operating and enjoying the |festivfties." 2
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-02-19

| to the really wonderful drive put ovef | under the superb leadership of Jay Smith. chairman of the board of dea- cons and hin enthusia4tto follow work err. The plan was carf1od out h allied army. Tho system. which Nleld Aarshal Frank Rushton modoetly
 admits is the best ever devieed, pro- vided. of course. that the general.
 colonels, captains and the entire per-
 sonnel is led by such one as himself. I Frank never fails to skid.' himseif
 about 1t in public. but the public n l! willing to admit that had ha lived in i Napoleonic days he would have carried a baton. s.ssa
 1 The various teams worked like ITrojans. or perh4ps to DO more up-to- date like Rushtonlans, The crowning
 event of each day of the three days drive was the supper aerv4d In tho I basement of the church by the Wom- ana's Missionary society. did not ret
 In on tho evening dinners until the I last nixht. Perhaps it wAs no place
 for Baptist preacher, but arriving
 on the scene ! proceeded to mako my- l self very much It homo amonr nv 1 Methodist brethren and sieters. They { were mighty rood to me. as they both, fed me and lot mo make talk. OneI Baptist came very near backslidinr
 into Methodism.
 l pr. c. B. 0lsnn was in rollickin. {. i mood md mads gfeat Itoastma aetsr. l JNdGe Dau Greene distinHu Huished hirn- ! eSlf IT soloist Charley Perry waa much in eyidonce in announcine EFT, (aubGcri pttones HAStor Hendrix M si~ < most tranplated with toy vhen vic- \ tory came. Fake 1t III in all sit Was t the happleet bifch o{ church Workers | that eyer had the pleGsure of b0lnG
 With In ails my life The s,n6tn9 0ndsf I jchs6tr& made' [ hit And whnnS TIT: !: " Maeon and John CSrtVf filkht TIT. 4 se1 End of Perfect DIX Evsry
 oa|e feit It to be tfus. \ X
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-02-19

For they say, if money go before. ai- ways to lie open.
 --Merry Wives of Windsor.
 x < #
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-02-19

ssverl people have been discovered h Birmingham who have not read s'aGaiu Street." Their color h good ana they take
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-02-19

Now Frank Dominick in whose bosom the secret reposes is near neighbor, of mine and often picks me up on his way to town in his auto mobile, but I am sure that he is toe close mouthed to tell Methodist se- cret to Baptist, and then he IS hedged about with all the red tape of professional ethics. He is mighty
 polite gentleman, but has way ot side stepping any question as to his client which is most provoking. for If a reporter can't find out how in the name of goodness can he spread the news.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-02-19
Many Inqnirfes Made

we arc receiving inquiries about Birmingham in every mail,'' said o. l. Bpnn. manager of the Chamber of Commerce. They are from all over the country. One In the morning mail was from a small place in Minnesota and another from spartanburg. s. c Scme seek factory locations and others are of more personal nature.
 parties our new booklet. Why Bir- minGhamr We did not got that out any too soon. We have daily need
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-02-19

E * 9s
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-02-19

The impeachment of Judse Landis win take place about ne time France ana Germany embrace with protestations or
Evening star., 1921-05-24
BAREF00TED GIRLS
DANCE IN A DRIZZLE
Martha Washington Pupils Present
Colorful Pageant Despite
Rain.

To the accompaniment Of mystic
music that filtered through the win
dows of the main building and be-
fore an audience that looked on from
the porch. Martha Washington Sem,
mary pHpfls last night danced, bare
foot. on the lawn through q drizzlins
rain. presenting a pageant that was
eolorful. despite the gloomy weather
The stage was the artistic fountain
court Of the institution.
The pageant. devised by Mrs. Grace
Norman Rosser. the schools in
structor in expression and dramatic
the primary colors and bore the ap-
propriate title, "At the End Of the
Rainbow" Red predominated the
first episode. which was a dramati-
zation OF a marriage ceremony Of
Albanian women OF Turkey. Yellow
was the prevailing color in the Sec
ond scene, a dramatization Of . ia
nous japanese legend. Blue. violet
and indigo were worked into 4
Greecian scene. which followed next.
with green used in the last to depict
the shamrock OF ireland.
All the cofors were assembled in
the grand finale to form a rainbow
arch around the fountain. 1t was
the first showing of the pageant.
which carried a more connected plot
boiic plays. The story centered in
the wanderings of an artist. who was
guided by the Spirit of Spring. Miss
Alice Dillon appeared as the artist.
with Miss Ruth Kirschbaum as the
spirit guide. All Of the forty odd
pupils of the school took part in the
production.
Evening star., 1921-05-24

Ing and instruction with view to
appointment as non-comm!ssioned Of
ncers In the organised reserves.
Blue-Advanced instructions and
study with q view to commission AZ
q reserve officer.
Thus tho red course" Of this sum
mer 10 in effect the freshman class
and 10 expected to appeal to young
men sixteen years and over. espe-
cially to members Of the high school
cadets hero, st. Johns College and
other schools giving military train.
no military training: but who have
secret hankering along that line.
The two higher courses require that
n candidate shall have had previous
military training. and the minimum
ages are nineteen and twenty-ont
years old. respectively.
Especial emphasis is being placed
by the War Department on the red
course this summer, which. it is
thought. will have an especial appea'
for young men. There are no spe-
oific educational qualifications for the
red course" but the candidate must
be OF good moral character and aver
age general intelligence.
Application blanks may he obtain
ed at the Army Medical School. Louis
lana avenue and 5th street. where
MAJ. H. B. Montgomery is prepared
to give the required physical exami-
nations. or at the business counter OF
The Star.
Evening star., 1921-05-24
WILL SCHOOL CIVILIANS
IN WAYS OF THE ARMY

The red camp" to be held at Camp
Meade. beginning August /. and for
which men OF the District between the
ages Of sixteen and thirty-flve years
old are eligible. is the frst Of three
citizens military training camps TO
organise the reserves.
These red" "white" and blue"
camps. an elaboration Of the Platts-
burg training camp idea, constitute
something new for the United states
and the idea is attracting a grea
deal Of attention. Just what the three
camps moan is what most "cits" want
to know.
If the camps were labeled "fresh-
man." Junior" and Senior" perhaps
everybody would understand. and that
is just about what they mean. The OBJ
ject Of the red camp" this summer.
the white" next year and the blue"
the next 10 to school the civilian In the
ways Of the Army.
The three courses at the camps are
planned as follows: Red--Preliminary
and practical military instruction. in.
Guiding carefully supervised physical
training and athletics. Candidates
satisfactorily completing this course
will be eligible for enlistment as pri-
Yates in the organized reserves.
White-lhtermedtAtA military train