The Pleasantville press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1912-1929, 1921-03-05

The q who
sold 1t said II was as good as new,
and 1t broke his heart to part with
1t, but he had to go to Florida for his
health and needed the money. Most
Of the great bargains are offered by
people who have to go somewhere, for
their health, and they're wise In doing
that, for II they stayed around the
neighb0rhOod where they sold the
Junk. they'd have their heads punched.
"DoOlittle was SO proud and happy
over his bargain that 1t would have
made you feel ten years younger Just
to look at him. He hitched up his
family steed, which Is named JAM
uary, and then invited Aunt Julia and
Mrs. Spry to take a buggy ride. He
and his wife sat in the front seat, and
the invited guests took the rear one,
and all went al merry as a divorce
bell for about a block.
"Then one of the hind wheels came
of, and the surrey keeled over and
dumped my aunt and Mrs. Spry onto
a pile Of gravel that had been left on
the street by a cement contractor. He
had put q red lantern on top Of the
pile as q danger signal to motorists.
l think the fall must have unsettled
Aunt Julia's faculties for the time be-
Ing, for she grabbed up the lantern
and broke It owe Mrs. Spry's head.
Mrs. Spry has her faults and failings
like other people, but she Ia dead
game, and the way she went for Aunt
Julia was the prettiest thing / ever
saw. / al sitting On our front porch
where I could e the doings, and I
don't know when I ever enjoyed my
self so much.
"Unless you have seen a couple Of
refined and cultured ladies clawlng
each other around on a pile Of gravel,
you don't know what true sport Is.
Mrs. Spry showed some fine ring gen.
eralship, but my aunt had the best
wind and she finally won out and came
home victorious. And thus through
camp and court she bore the trophies
of a ~conquerOr,' as the poet says, but
there was no pleasure in living in the
same house with her for a week or
two. As soon as she cooled down she
was sorry and ashamed, and would
have given a million dollars if the
row had never started.
"Women are so blamed queer I've
| given up trying to understand them.
When | get the best of a shindy | feel
all swelled up for quite a while. 1
Iop't ho,a rarparCn nn1acC I not
the worst of 1t, and that doesn't often
happen, for 1 I'M a pretty handy man.
When l put a cupola on Tensmith's
head last February I was so chesty
for q month that everybody noticed 1t,
and thought I must have been appoint
ed postmaster.
"Well, after the ome fell out of
the rear seat of the surrey, old JAN
uary ran away, and 1t vas amusing to
see that rig go humping along the
| street on three wheels, with Doolittle
hanging onto the dashboard and his
wife waving her umbrella and yelling
'FIrei' January couldn't go very fast.
being covered with rngbones and
spavins and other blemishes, but he
managed to knock several people down
and do a lot of damage to property,
and the old man had to pay out nearly
5000 to avoid some damage suits.
1.-THE one thing that keeps him from
despair is a m that the man who
sold him the surrey is coming back
here to live. Doolittle will be at the
depot to meet him, and 1t will be
worth S. to have a ringside seat when
the meeting occurs"