davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Norwich bulletin. [volume] (Norwich, Conn.) 1895-2011, 1921-01-28
HUMOR OF THE DAY

"a stammering man has great ad-
vantage" said the busy citizen.
I'm what way?"
He can think before he speaks and
still hold on to your attention."-Edin
burgh Scotsman.
l,atience-I hear Peggy is doing her
hair up in new way now.
Patrice-Why, yes; she used to use a
piece OF paper, but 1 met her today on
the way to the hairdresser's and she had
It done up in toweL-Yonkers States
man.
Paying Teller-Rastus you'll have to
indorse this check
Rastus-Indorse It? Say boss I'll eu-
! logizs dat check IL you'll jess give me
dat good old money.-Cartoons Magazint.
Sir, when you eat here you needn't
dust of the plate"
Beg pardon. Force of habit merely.
I'm an umpire. Louisville Courier
Journal
Senator smugg has the manner OF a
Chesterfield"
Yes" returned old Festus Poster.
HE is always so polite and deferential
| that he keeps me wondering how much
he wants to borrow."-Kansas City Star
Mrs. Crabshaw-So your family dates
back further than l.ers?
| Mrs. Nurich-It certainly does. Ny
husband grew wealthy working in mu-
nitions factory, while her people made
their pile in the oil boom Life.
Clarence: Promise to marry me, OF
I'll hang myself before your door"
Sylvia No! No! Clarence! Hans
yourself anywhere but here Pa doesn't
like to see you hanging around here any
way."-Exchange-
ct stayed at Highbhdsxs hotsl las
! night"
"Tep?"
Sure did. He's the king prohteer,
all right"
How Gomez"
4 complained this morning Of hav-
ing had nightmare and he charged me
for livery rig."-Cartoons Magazine.
who was it that said Eternal vigi-
lance is the price Of NSerty? asked
Mrs. Gabb as she looked up from the
newspaper she was reading.
Some bachelor. I suppose" growled
Mr.. Gatb.-Exchange
A high school student wanted to take
military training and reported to the
sergeant in charge. The student had a
slight impeachment in his speech.
Have you ever had any drill?" the
sergeant asked.
"No-no-not any except Mim-may-pole
dahce!" he answered.-Houston Post.
Norwich bulletin. [volume] (Norwich, Conn.) 1895-2011, 1921-01-28

used in the reconstruction of devastated
regions Of that country.
Pearl oysters are extremely numerous
along the coast of lower California on the
west side, and many valuable gems have
been taken there annually for many
years.
A shallow, saucerlike boat has been
placed on the Tagoons OF some London
parks. which is said to be noncapsizlble.
and it is propelled either by oars, paddles
or punt poles.
More than 100000 pounds Of beet
sugar from fol eign countries has been
brought into this country for sale since
January, this being an entirely new de-
velopment n the sugar trade.
Six hundred and fifty policemen in
New York city who served overseas, were
recently decorated with special medals
for their military service. All are men,
bers of the Lafayette Post of the Ameri-
can Legion
When John Quincy Adams went to
Washington as president, one of his pop
ular recreations was to take his private
secretary and some good friends and
swim in the Potomac for an hour. He
was an expert swimmer.
Cork was used by Roman sandal max
| ers for soles, and they sometimes applied
1t very thick in order to increase thu
stature of those members of the fair SCI
! who wished to be thought taller THAI
| they really were.
Oysters taken from the water Of ques
tioRable purity are thoroughly cleans
ed by the following treatment. Tht
shells are washed thoroughly and the bi
valves are thrown into great tanks o.
sterilized sea water which is being re
newed constantly. After a weeks treat
ment the oysters are beyond question
Norwich bulletin. [volume] (Norwich, Conn.) 1895-2011, 1921-01-28
DEFENSE OF INTERNATIONAL
MERCANTILE MARINE OFFICERS

Washington, Jan. 27.-Officers of the
International Mercantile Marine COM
pany headed by r. A. S. Franklin, presi-
dent today gave the shipping board, sit
ting as an investigating body, their story
of their 20-year agreement with the
British government STIMULATING that they
pursue no policy injurious to the inter-
ests of the British mercantile marine or
of British trade" The agreement was
brought to the notice of the board last
week through an address by Senator
Jones of Washington before the National
Merchant Marine association.
President Franklin characterized his
company as being 100 per cent. Ameri-
can at all times" He presented a list of
shareholders showing that "a per cent. of
the company was owned by Americans
in the United States" and declared none
of his managing officials was foreigner.
Questions developed that 81 per cent.
of the more than 1000 900 tons of ship
ping operated by the International Mer-
camille Marine was registered abroad and
was subject to requisition by those for
eign governments in case of war Atten-
ton also was directed to the clause of the
agreement specifying that a majority of
the directors of subsidiary companies in
England must be British subjects.
Admiral Benson, chairman Of the
Norwich bulletin. [volume] (Norwich, Conn.) 1895-2011, 1921-01-28
C0[BYSIMPRESSIONSO OF SOU7HAMERICA

Mr.. Colby said he found that South
Americas were well informed on questions
how uppermost in the United States, in
Guiding tariff revision.
TN Argentina, particularly" he added,
'>the men at the head of affairs under
stand the motives of American law max
ers who are sponsoring the measures and
are not apprehensive of the outcome. Al
SO, they understand, through experience
with their own congress, that measure in
troduced is not necessarily a measure
adopted.
In my talks with men of affairs, un-
derstood particularly to explain that this
country was under great financial pres
sure caused by the war and that what
ever tariff measures 2ight be passed
would result from the absolute necessity
Of raising money to carry on the affairs
of the nation. I found them sympa-
thetic and not inclined to place a false
construction on our acts"
Secretary Colby said he had found no
evidence that the Argentine government
contemplating the imposition of reta1ia-
tory tariffs on American imports into
Argentina in case the Fordney tariff
measure becomes law.
Norwich bulletin. [volume] (Norwich, Conn.) 1895-2011, 1921-01-28
KALEIDOSCOPE

A suit Of armor made for boy Of sey-
en- is soon to be sold by auction in Lon
don.
Miss Marie Majereva, an author, an
author has been appointed director Of the
National theatre in Prague.
On dark nights a white light can be
seen farther than any other, but on light
night red takes the first place.
A full-sized model OF Westminste Alb
hey was specially erected near Berlin for
the purposes Of mo- on picture pro-
duction.
Cocoanut trees in Brazil are supposed
to live and bear fruit for from 90 to 700
years, but the date palm is not so hardy
and seldom lives to exceed 500 years.
The famous Ferris wheel. which has
attracted much attention among foreign
visitors in Paris for the last twenty years
is to be demolished and the steel will be
Norwich bulletin. [volume] (Norwich, Conn.) 1895-2011, 1921-01-28
OH, PILGRIM HEART.

Whence go you, oh, my heart! in pilgrim graz;
What journey bids you forth SO long and late'
When white arms beckon, red lips bid you stay,
What quest is this that will not let you wait?
Ever go through many night and day
Through many day and night TO find my mate.
Nay, but the way is long, oh, pilgrim heart!
See when the deserts burn and waters roll;
What token have you that one waits apart,
A joy uncertain at an unknown goal?
Long since heard the voice that babe me start
With that strange word wherewith soul calls to SOUL
Oh, pilgrim heart! when ended is the quest
And one stands welcoming upon the steep,
Now, by what token is she first and best,
Now, by what sign shall love his promise keep
Oh! her red lips will laugh when my lips jest,
And her sweet eyes will weep when my eyes weep
-Theodosia Garrison.
Norwich bulletin. [volume] (Norwich, Conn.) 1895-2011, 1921-01-28

as far as their sanitary condition is con
cerned, and they are in fine condition for
market.
The Dominican repuhlic Is primarily
and naturally an agricultural country
and manufacturing is carried on only on
a very limited scale in fact the total
motive power employed in the various
manufacturing industries in Santc Do
mingo. the capital and largest city II
the republic, is less than ESQ horse pow
er.
The Washington times., 1921-11-26
BOBBIE AND
HIS PA
BY William F. Kirk

/" HE public Of this CRATE ma
shun gifts some strange no
shuns sumtimes, sed Ma last
mite.
What is the latest noshun? sed
Pa.
Oh, thay SEINE to maik such
crate fuss oaver sum baseball
pitcher or sum filter or sum movie
star, sed Ma, & you hardlup ever
heer them praising a CRATE college
perfessor. like what my deer old
daddie was, sed Ma az g. q.
Well. what of 1t, sed Pa. You
hardly ever heer the wurld prais-
ing eeven me, do you? sed Pa.
Hardly ever, sed Ma. Sumtimes
think 1t will be Jest as we'll for
Bobbie to be a CRATE baseball pitch
err as a CRATE thinker, sed Ma. He
throwed rock thru the front win
dow yesterday. sed Ma, which
shows that his arm Is working
good, sed Ma.
Bobbie will be what he will be,
sed Pa, no matter what we want
him to be, & II he wants to be a
baseball pitcher I will not throw a
baseball in his way. Ha, ha, sed
Pa.
Maybe he will be a hew-merist
like you, sed Ma. Ha, ha.
The reeson the publick worships
a CRATE pitcher, sed Pa, is that CRATE
pitchers Is scarse, sed Pa, There
are lots OF CRATE professors, lots of
CRATE docktors, lots Of CRATE law
yers. but vary few CRATE pitchers or
baseball mannidgers, sed Pa. That
witch vary very few can do is the
thing peepul admires most, sed Pa.
Do maik myself cleer? sed Pa.
You do. sed Ma. In other words,
sed Ma, II shampane was as COM
mon as beer, it wud be the saim
price, sed Ma.
That is a good illusterashun, sed
Pa, but 1t is not a sutabel one in
this dry Eery, sed Pa. 1t maiks me
yern for the deer ded past to heer
you speak Of shampane, sed Pa.
Aggenn I heer the popping cork
as wen 1 cut loose in New York,
sed Pa.
One Of the moast soothing thots
about Boobies futer, sed Ma, is the
thot that he will not be up aggenst
the temptashuns his noabel father
tried 80 hard not to resist, sed Ma.
think many mothers feels safer
about thare boys now than thay
used to. 4 a lot Of you old boys
must feel thankful that yure sons
will not have to go thru the PAGES
which you went thru, sed Ma. Thay
will be better men for it, sed Ma.
/ hoap so, hoap so, sed Pa, but
/ find 1t hard to believe that thare
will ever be better men than what
me & my gang was, sed Pa. In
many respecks, sed Pa, we was
super-men, sed Pa, in the CRATE
theeter Of Life. sed Pa.
& in many respecks you & yure
old crowd was moar like supers
than like super-men, sed Ma. / am
glad to have lived to see the deth
Of the Flowing Bowl, sed Ma.
Wen j grow up l doan't care II
the wurld praises me or not a I
guess the wurld doant care neither.
All / want to git Is enuff Doe so 1
can have what want for nv
friends & my Pa & Ma & myself 4
beesides IL you git enuff Doe you
will git praise enuff too, also.
The Washington times., 1921-11-26
When O. Girl Marries


IT didn't know you then, she
returned seriously. IT didn't re-
alize that you aren't the clinging
vine I'd expected to find. 1 know
you now as a self-reliant, sturdy
woman who has to do her bit and
even though she's found the love
Of her life,
II thought a man OF MIR. 1Tarri-
sons position and traditions would
be likely to mary a lily of the
field. And mis- concern for you
made me sure that you weren't tn,
sort who ought to be permitted TO
go banging up against reality.
Your revelation that you d worked
before your marriage and the way
you actually bent me to your will
and made me take the money for
the note a couple Of weeks ago
told me the facts about you. OF
course your husband didn't have
the time to explain you to me-
even II he can be supposed to have
had the inclination to stop and
interpret his wife-to an employee"
You wonderful girl" l cried,
You know just what to say and
just when to say il. But IL you
ever again call yourself an EN-
ploye' in the tone Of that and moth
Ing more-Ill see about having YOU
enjoined. And now to prove that
we're friends and that the friend.
ship Is based on something besides
Harrison and Company-listen to
this: I'm about to go into business
on my own account. / have three
advertising accounts to handle and
I'm about to become an advertising
consultant. What do you think of
that?"
Now, when 1 get decently on my
feet, we'll be able to put Harrison
and Company on its feet, too. I'll
soon be making big money and with
that to manipulate I'm sure you
won't have a bit of trouble down at
my husbands office"
Mabel Storrss face darkened and
she stared at me angrily. Her
voice was curt and concise as she
replied:
do you think II was with such n
step in view that your husband left
me in charge OF home affairs and
started off on his own long, hard
Journey"
I'm sorry-I spoke impulsively
1T was swankH ] cried.
But as Mabel Storrs stared back
at me with hard, cold eyes and
compressed lips, / realized that she
was a strange, complex woman and
that I'd lost ground | might never
be able to regain.
Go Be Continued Tuesday,
The Washington times., 1921-11-26
ET-RICH-QUICK WALLINGFOF
Delightful Serial of Adventure,
Intrigue and the Triumph of
Love Over Dishonesty.

The front door closed and the
two men stood looking from the
veranda at a trolley passing in the
distance
IT tell you" said wallingford,
"Fannie's wonderful woman;
she's responsible for all this
"She and Dorothy" amended
Blackie Daw.
you know. when 1 think back.
I wonder sometimes how we ever
got so far as we did without going
to jail-do you ever feel the long
ing to play the old game coming
over you, Blackie?"
"Once in a WHILE" admitted
Blackie. "but i think of Dorothy
and my little boy, and then it's all
off"
"I1l tell you" said J. Rufus,
Tets talk with Tom in the morn
ing and offer him a good salary
to stay here and keep his eye on
us-thatll make us both feel easy"
That's the best idea you ever
had" said Blackie Daw.
Say" said Wallingford. after a
pause, did you ever tell Dorothy
the TRUTH"
Yes l did: / made a clean slate
of it," said Blackie. II didn't want
her to hear it from anyone else"
Il did, too" said Wallingford.
They're some little girls"
They watched the smoke from
their cigars trailing up in the half
light, then j. Rufus spoke again.
1T takes a smart man to be a
clever crook. doesn't it, Blackie?"
you bet," agreed Mr.. Daw.
But what fool a smart man is
for being a crook. isn't he?"
Il should say he is"
They continued to smoke until
wallingford threw away his cigar.
did you ever think what we owe
those girls?" he asked.
You said it," replied Blackie
Daw, as they turned to Join their
wives.
THE END.
The Washington times., 1921-11-26
By Arthur Stringer,
Wsll.known Novelist and Author
Of Countrywide Reputation

The men and women in Tories
world, he remembered, took a view
quite opposite TO his, which they
would have laughed at as provincial,
as SNUG and mid-Victorion. And
that world, in a way, was already
his own world. He had entered 1t
and was being a part of 1t; and in
Rome, he concluded, 1t was acknowl-
edged best to do what the Romans
did
There were still certain aspects Of
that world which he could not COM
prehend. Its casual liberties, its free
dom Of intercourse, its topsy-turvy-
dom of standards, were still a be-
wilderment to him. Repeatedly he
was being confronted by that free
masonry of Bohemia which kept
warning him there would have to be
ever-renewed shifts in the outposts
of behavior inexplicable contractions
at one point and equally inexplicable
expansions at another.
He dreaded, as all men of sensi-
bilities dread, the accusation Of mar
rowness. Iniquity, he knew, was
not peculiar to the city. He had
seen enough of country life to re-
member that impurity could walk
In lilaced lanes as corruptingly as
it sidled along lamp-lit pavements.
But in the crowded centers 1t brush
ed more disconcertingly close to one.
And still again he made 1t a pont to
The Washington times., 1921-11-26
A Stirring Narrative of the Influence
of Love on the Lives of a Girl
and Man.

"Jimll be tickled to death to see
you; why didn't you let us know
you were coming?"
"Oh, just thought of 1t as the
train was pulling in-say, that's
something new, the Overland stop
ping here. isn't It? Is that one Of
the wonders ]. Rufus has pulled
off? I hear you're married too
well. WELL"
Eyes. got a fine boy. too. Here's
Jim-guess who's here. JIM" he
called as the tall figure of his part
ner emerged from the hall.
But Wallingford didn't need to
guess. "I'll be hanged" he cried.
"The same old Tom-you old fraud.
why didn't you wire us?''
Look funny for a mere detective
to be sending a telegram to a couple
of millionaires. wouldn't TT"
An Unlooked-for Welcome.
None Of that, Tom. Where are
you staying-can't you come up
here-we1l show you around"
Nothing doing-I'm off tomor-
row."
You're going to stay a few days.
anyway" Blackie put in. "if We
have to corral your luggage"
Cant be DONE" said Mr.. Dono-
hue. ~ just had a laundering to
look in on you fellows-I've been
hearing so much about you for the
past two years-by George. it's
wonderful. The boss back at head
quarters couldn't believe 1t was all
true-sort of a pipe dream he calls
it-well, / guess he's wrong.
HE is" said Wallingford, point
ing to the lights in the streets be-
low and the evidences of industry.
There's the answer: we've got the
most prosperous town in the Middle
West"
And Jim's the chap who's done
it." put In Blackie.
you've got to give the boss
credit" Donohue explained. HE
always said IL you fellows would In
ject half the energy into the straight
The Washington times., 1921-11-26

And they tell me you've squared
yourself with every boob you ever
trimmed7"
1--WE paid them two for one" said
wallingford. we're quits with the
world
II am proud to know you. both
Of you" said Donohue, as the guests
began to come out.
1t was too late for the caller to
escape. He stood there while Mr..
and Mrs. Dempsey. the latter wear
ing a wrap made by a rue de Ia
Paix modiste. said their good-byes.
He was introduced to them both
he met the fashionable Eddie Lamb
and his wife. Gertie-Eddie the
$4,000 a year advertising manager
Of the Tack Co. which. instead of
selling out to the Eureka, had
The Washington times., 1921-11-26

to Tories side and kissed her for
the sake of peace. and purely for
the sake of peace. to distinguish be-
tween advance and retrogression.
between enslavement and emancipa-
ton. For just a moment. before he
drank down the ginn-rickey which
she had mixed for him, he enter
tanned a suspicion that his wife's
insistence on physical contact was
for inflammatory and obliterative
ends. to burn up in flame of passion
all traces OF more trivial emotion,
as the burglar has been known 10
burn the mansion after ransacking
its treasure-chests.
But by the time he had finished
The Washington times., 1921-11-26

lingford smiling, as the jovial direc-
tors of the Tack Co. departed.
I'm beginning to think / was
wrong" Donohue admitted.
I'VE know you're wrong; the
great-great- grandfather Of the old
fellow founded this town."
The Last Trick.
benjamin BattIes7" asked Mr..
Donohue. who seemed familiar with
the name. "Oh, yes, read about
him In a book / picked up in the
train-some man he was. all right"
Blackie Daw began to laugh
wallingford held out his hand.
Shake hands with the author"
You wrote lit" asked the IN
credulous detective.
Had to. to square myself, and
the Joke of 1t Is it's selling like
hot cakes! Here are the ladies'"
Fannie" called waIlingrord.
come here a minute-an old friend
OF ours, Mr.. Donohue."
YES" said Donohue. shaking
hands with Fannie and then with
Dorothy, like a man in a dream, Il
used to see a lot of the boys be-
fore they came West"
A cry from the house interrupt
ed him! a further smile wreathed
itself about his face as he asked:
"A boy2"
Fannie laughed at wallingford.
Trust a man for getting things
wrong" apologized Donohue; "a
girl Of course"
zone and one make two" said
wallingford. Twins"
You're right" said Donohue,
this is some town. And he
promised. under the artful persua-
sions Of the ladies, to stay over
and see the tack factory and IN
spect the trolley lines and view the
city as it should be viewed
Mr.. .Donohue departed and the
ladies' retired with a warning to
their husbands not to sit up too
late.
The Washington times., 1921-11-26
AdUice to the
LOUeLOrn
By Beatrice Fairfax
nEAR MISS FAIRFAX:

nEAR MISS FAIRFAX:
have not heard from or
seen my sweetheart for six weeks,
and am heartbroken, as cannot
understand his silence.
Don't you think an honorable
man. II he had intentions of break
ing relations after going with me
for a year, would tell me instead Of
keeping me in suspense?
/ don't see how anybody can
just simply cast a person off and
think nothing of 1t. know / will
feel this for a long, long time, and
will never trust a man again.
nON'T jump to conclusions How
~ do you know your sweetheart is
not i'll? How do you know he hasn't
written to you and had the bad for,
tune to have his letter go astray?
How do you know he isn't in finan.
cial difficulties or trouble of such a
sort that he feels the fairest thing
to do is to give you a chance to for
get "a man who's gone quietly out OF
your life? Write the young man a
calm. friendly letter and tell him
you can't understand his silence.
The Washington times., 1921-11-26
BY Ann Isle
Whose Present Serial Has Scored
a Big Popular Success.

Whose Present serial has SCOTCH
Big Popular Success.
"HE day after / commissioned
Carlotta to find me an office
for my new business venture
I telephoned Mabel Storrs and
asked her to meet me for lunch.
She agreed with the prompt friend
illness which reminded me for the
second time of Betty.
We met at the time and place
appointed, greeted each other with
the brief friendliness two men
might have shown. and then found
a table and gave concise and
simple order. After that / got
down to the business of the day.
1--WE news for you," announced.
"But first I want to fire two Ques-
lions at you: Any news from Jim2
And any returns from the Arkansas
countryT
Your husband isn't near a post
office just now, that's clear. For
evidently you suffer from the same
shortage of mail the office is en-
during" she smiled. But the
Arkansas matter is spelndidly taken
care of, thanks to your promptness
and bank account. paid off the
note. That little strip of land 1
have such a queer bunch about Is
still in the possession Of Harrison
& Company"
Need any more money!"
I tossed 1t off lightly, though
with humping heart. The future
of the office / had pledged myself
to establish actually depended upon
her reply.
I'm all right-not only for the
present but for the future, too.
That I'll promise myself, rather
than you, you brave, ever-ready
person. I've fallen down on the
job once by letting you bear the
burdens Mr.. Harrison wanted you
saved from. And yet ! don't seem
to be properly ashamed-since II
has put us on a footing of under
standing. No, Mrs. Harrison. no
more loans. No more financing by
you. I'm going to see this through
now-if / have to do ton a
shoestring."
Good for your laughed. "And
now you must listen to the tale
OF how I plan to see a job Of my
own through on-a shoestring."
What are you up to now?"
questioned Mabel Storrs eagerly.
You sound as IL you were ready
to say Go TO it! and yet only
little while ago you had qualms
about my going back to Haldane's,"
/ bantered.
The Washington times., 1921-11-26
The Wine of Life

remember that he was a newcomer
to that great city 30 contradictory
In aspect and so indecipherable In
impulse.
1t was not only too big to be
changed; 1t was also too complex in
it's blind Interviewing Of strata for
him to choose and cleave to any one
particular plane. 1t was he himself.
and not the city, that must change.
Yet inevitable as those changes were
he had no intention of leaving life
little more than a mush of conces-
sions. He would always insist on
elbow-r room for his soul.
And it was becoming more and
more difficult, he felt as he crossed