The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1921-10-17

apparently have . inner sense Of de-
cency In the matter. for IL 10 only
Enthusiastically that you hear OF n
man who tries to make the law
force . woman TO keep her promise
TO marry him. or else pay him for
her release.
What makes these breach Of
promise suits worse 10 that In All
Of the innumerabls cases In which
the alleged victims have sought
damage for injury done to their at
fections. there - probably not one
who has suffered q real heart pane.
Those who have trusted and been
betrayed; those who have really
loved and lost; those whose hearts
are really broken do not drag their
agony out in public for the world
to 5eer at: they do not make
spectacle of their suffering. Still
less do they estimate their be-
reavement in dollars and cents. and
whenever you md that all that a
hurt heart needs to heal IL is
poultice Of greenbacks you may be
very sure that its wounds are only
skin deep.
; Those who have known q great
love that failed them; those whose
very souls have been torn In twain
by the perfidy of one they trusted.
hide away like q stricken animal.
They do not seek the market places
In which to pine away and die OF
broken hearts. or seek to capitalize
their tears.
OF course 1t Is easy to understand
that II hurts ones vanity to be
Tilted. 1t Is never a pleasant ex-
perience to realize that We have
lost our charm for anyone. and that
another is preferred before us. One
can also appreciate that IL may be
q keen disappointment to a woman
who thinks that In marrying she is
getting someone to support her In
stead of having to earn her own
bread and butter. to see her meal
ticket slip through her fingers. as IL
were. Likewise 1t may be embar-
RAISING to have to explain to ones
friends why one has suddenly de-
cided that single blessedness Is bet
ter than double wretchedness, after
all.
But these are mere pinpricks on
the surface of life. and amount to
nothing compared to the deadly and
lasting wrong Of putting through a
III which elNucT thC man
or the woman enters unwillingly.
This is a view of the matter that
should appeal especially to women.
for. Heaven knows. the average
man wearies of domesticity soon
for IL that he fairly drags a woman
by the hair of her head to the altar.
What sort of husband a man lie
1iEa1x. 70 N
bulldozes him into marrying her.
one shudders to contemplate.
For men are not good at acting
a part. nor do they trouble to
camounage their feelings toward
their wives. When they are indif-
ferent to a woman or bored by her.
they leave her under no illusions as
to their state of mind. In real life
there are no Sentimental Tommies
who practice on unloved wives the
tenderness of a passion they simu-
late.
A great many men do marry
women whom they have ceased to
love because they are afraid of
being sued for breach of promise,
or because they have such a sense
of honor that they feel obliged to
keep the promise they have made
to some girl. or because they have
not the courage to tear away ,te
clinging hands of the women who
love them, and to stab the hearts
Of the women who have trusteu
them.
These marriages are always mis-
takes. They never bring happiness
to either party because life is not
made up Of great moments OF he
roic self sacrifice. 1t is composed
OF years and years of commonplace
days in which we want to be happy
in congenial companionship with
the man or woman who fired our
adult fancy, and whom We enjoy,
not the one whom We have to en-
dure.
1t takes more heroism than the
ordinary man has got to stand a
wife whom he has outgrown. whom
he married for pity and from a
sense of duty. and Of whom he was
disenchanted even before the we'd
ding day. And there is no woman
in the world so dull that she will
not find this out inside OF a week.
and wish with all of her heart that
he had had the cruel kindness to
tell her the truth. and save her
from the most Notifying position
on earth-that OF being an un-
wanted and despised wife.
A woman may say that a man
should know his mind before he
asks a woman to marry him. and
that when he has contracted to
marry her, he is just as much bound
by that obligation as he would be
to take q house or a horse that he
has agreed to take. She may say
that she entered into the bargain in
good faith and that he must main
tain good faith also.
You can't compare a marriage
contract with any other contract
because a man and woman never
really begin to know each other
until they are engaged. In that
close relationship they get a line on
each others peculiarities that they
never had before, and discover flaws
and virtues that they never sus-
pected that each other possessed.
So an engagement should be re-
garded at most as an option on a
man or woman's hand and heart
rather than a closed trade.
And, anyway. the love game is
always a gamble. and when either
q man or woman loses out they
should be good enough sports not