davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1921-04-23
Dinner Stories

An Irishman travelling on a train
was unable to produce his ticket when
the inspector demanded ii.
II must have lost it, he explained.
after making a thoro search of his
pockets.
But you couldn't have lost your
ticket" protested the inspector. 1T
must be in your pockets somewhere"
You don't know me-" replied the
Irishman. II lost a bass drum once"
He was unaware of the eccentrici-
ties to be found in western Canada
He entered what was apparently the
only hotel in the place
After ushering him to a table and
giving the stranger the usual glass
of water the waiter inquired:
Dinner is served. sir. Will you
have sausages on toast?"
mo, 1 never eat emf
'.In that case. sir replied the
waiter, moving away, dinner is over"
A man on the South Side adver-
tised his car for sale. Early the next
morning n man who lived across the
street came over and said: Pardon
me, but 1 see by last nights paper
you advertised your car for sale"
Quite true" said the man who
advertised the car. but surely you
are not in the market for it,
NO" was the reply, but 1 only live
across the street and I also want to
sell my car And there would be no
need of my spending my money for
an advertisement if people were thru
looking at your car you could just
send them across the street to look at
my car"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1921-04-23
A TIME FOR ECONOMY.

President Harding is quoted as say
ing: 81 know of no more pressing
problem at home than to restrict our
national expenditures within the linn
it's of our national income, and at the
same time measurably lift the burdens
of war taxation from the shoulders of
the American people. One can not be
unmindful that economy is a much
employed cry. most frequently stressed
in prediction appeals, but it is ours
to make it an outstanding and ever
impelling purpose in both legislation
and administration"
Yet there has been passed by the
senate q. proposal to make q present
of $25, 900, 900 to Colombia On Tues
day of this week an amendment was
offered raising the amount to $780,
100000, the extra $5,000,000, how
ever. to go for certain islands owned
by that country. 1t is doubted that
Colombia has any islands worth that
sum.
Secretary of Re Treasury Mellon
soon after he took over the office
warned the country to practice the
most rigid economy and reminded the
people of the vast mountain of debt
bequeathed to President Harding by
the retiring administration. Other
cabinet officers have emphasized the
situation in their public utterances,
and it behooves the congress to think
deeply on the subject in the days that
are before it. Interests of all kinds
are clamoring for appropriations Of
various sorts. Many of the projects
ARE meritorious, while some have lit
tie to recommend them and should
not be given consideration at any
time. One of these is this payment
to Colombia.
In the present financial situation of
the country congress should pause and
consider the possible effect on the
treasury and business in general of
any proposal for enlarged or unnec-
essary expenditures. The country will
be called upon to raise approximately
SIS, goo. 900 inside of three years,
to meet its obligations. without anF
extras.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1921-04-23

Charles H. Sabin, president of the
Guaranty Trust company, in response
to the statement made before the
United States labor board by w. Jett
Iauck. economist for the unions. has
replied as follows: $50 far as the
Guaranty Trust company is con-
cerned, the statement reported to have
been made by w. Jet Lauck in Chi
cago before the railroad labor board
in regard to the alleged combination
of New York banks to debate labor,
is absolutely and unqualifiedly false
in every respect. This company has
never been a rarity, either formally OF
informally, to any such understand
ing, agreement or combination and,
furthermore, neither nor any of my
associates ever heard of such an al
legged combination or any discussion
or proposition relating to it. Mr..
Lauck's statement that New York
banks have combined to cause the
spread of unemployment is also ut
terly false" 1t may be noted in this
connection that NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
of securities-have suffered from the
defIation process quite as heavily as
any other class. They are billions of
dollars poorer, if their financial con-
dition be measured by the present
market value of their stocks and
bonds, than they Were when deflation
began. Our economic structure is
such that anything that harms one
class of citizens is certain sooner or
later to harm every other class of citi-
zens.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1921-04-23
INFORMATION FOR ALL READERS OF
THE TOPEKA STATE JOURNAL.

Each reader OF The state Journal is Of
fered the unlimited use of the largest IN
formation bureau in the world.
This Service Bureau is located IN the
national capital, where it is in Immediate
touch with all the great resources OF the
United States government.
1t can answer practically any question
you want to ask, butt can't give ADVICE
or make exhaustive research.
The war forced so ma chang IN the
daily life of the American people that the
service of this information bureau WILL De
invaluable to all who use 1t.
Keep in touch with your governmenteat
ali times. 1t can help you in thousand
The State journal pays for this splendid
service in order thar every one OF Its read-
ers may take free advantage Of 1t, You are
welcome to use 10 as often as you ike.
Write your request briefly, sign your
name and address plainly. enclose 2-cent
sfnmp for return postage and address, the
TOPEKA STATE JOURNAL INFoRMA-
TIOE BUREAU.
ton. u. c.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1921-04-23
Quesfions-Answers

Q. Who was the first secretary of the
the navy was created, the position was
offered to George Cabot by President
Adams. He declined to serve, tho he ac
tually held office for one month. He was
succeeded by Benjamin Stoddert.
Q. Are Mrs. Wilson Woodrow and Mrs
Woodrow Wilson the same person?-
A. These are two entirely different per-
sons. One is the wife of former Presi-
dent Wilson, the other is Mrs. Nancy Mann
Waddel Woodrow, a writer of novels and
short stories
Q. How many members each have Eng
land. Ireland, Wales and Scotland in par
A. The membership of the British parlia-
ment, house of lords, is CO. members with
16 Scottish and 20 Irish peers who are
also British and 10 Scottish and 81 Irish
who are not hereditary members. but are
house of commons consists of go mem
bers. 4G1 for England. 81 for Wales. -
for Scotland, and 103 for Ireland-one for
one for every $1,000 of Ireland.
9. Can a notary public attest his own
signature w. o. S.
A. 1t is necessary for a notary public
to go before another notary public to have
his own papers attested-
Q. How did the horseshoe come to be
looked upon as an emblem of luek?-
A The superstition regarding the horse
shoe as an emblem of luck is believed to
be connected with customs of the ancient
Romans. They drove nails into the walls
of their houses As an antidote against the
plague, and in the middle ages, horseshoes
were used over the doorways of houses in
order to keep out witches.
tAny reader can get the answer to any
question by writing The Topeka State
Journal Information Bureau, Frederic ].
Haskin, director Washington, d. c. This
offer applies strictly to information. The
Bureau cannot give advice on legal, medical
and financial matters. II does not attempt
to settle domestic troubles, nor to under-
take exhaustive research on anv subject
Write your question plainly and briefly.
Give full name and address aud enclose two
cents in stamps for return postage. All
replies are sent direct to the inquirer.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1921-04-23

of was that the family had read the
intimate MESA ge. She jumped to her
feet, splitting the roses, turning an IN
dignant, burning face to the amazed
little group.
Ted after a long. low whistle spoke
first.A so that's where you found the
pin-in your hair. And I thought
you'd simply discovered it in your
handkerchief Or
you never brushed your hair be-
fore you went to bed" scolded Senah
precisely, cor you surely would nave
found 1t. 1 told you she was care
what I want to know" inter
ruptedMrs. Driscom sternly, lis how
the pin got entangled in your hair
Answer me that. young LADY! You
were the last one in Mr.. Brookes
office-and alone. understand?
"Oh, mother" sobbed Dulcie. as req
as the roses Senah was picking up,
how can you, and before these chill
dren? 1t was all so dreadful mean
misunderstood. / thought he wanted
to make love TO me- didn't wait 70
hear what he had to say! on, don
look SO dreadfully severe, mother, l
just yielded for a tiny second, then l
pulled away, and 1 guess the scar1pln
got stuck in my hair"
'sDuloie," her mothers voice was
very serious, you know this is quite
impossible You are f1attered by this
proposal from a rich old man
"Oh. but love him! I've loved him
from the first day put a foot in the
officei"
'eWhat." cried Senah dumfounded,
love that horrid old Mr.. Brookes.
And mother drew Duicie's head
gently to her shoulder and kissed the,
hot, tear-stained little face. Slt cam
not be, dear-not old
ooh. but he isn't old at all, nor
horrid! He's not more than twenty
seven or twenty eight. and he's very
handsome and gentle! You under
stand, don't you, mother, 1t was
simply protection from Ted ana
Senah. / loved him from the start,
and 1 knew he did me. and to have
peace at home 1 simply called him
the horrid old Mr.. Brookes from the
beginningi"
Copyright 1921. by the mcclure
Newspaper Syndicate.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1921-04-23
LITTLE BENNY'S NOTE BOOK
The Park Ave. News.
BY IElE PAPE.
.tber Warm and warmer.

Weather Warm and warmer
Spoarts. Battling Pubs Simkins and
LEROY Kid Shooster put on Pulses
new boxing gloves for a round lite
wich lasted rounds last Satidday.
Round 1-Puds landed the ferst blow
by bucking Leroy in the stumnick
with his head. Leroy kicked Pubs in
the shins to prove it wasent fair to
buck with your he'd. Pubs kicked
Leroy back to prove watts fair for one
is fair for 2. Round Neither of
them had recovered from round yet,
SO they shook hands and agreed to call
it tie.
Sissiety. Mr. Sam Cross was OBJ
zerved wawking on Broad Street with
Miss Maud Jonson last Sundey,
Wawking in sutch a sissey way every
body thawt he was stuck up till they
found out his new shoes was too lite.
Pome by Skinny Martin.
Darn All Errands.
I was going to run away from homo
And ony reteru to die.
But my mother suddinly spoiled my
plans
By sending me for a can Of I've.
Intristing Facks About IntristinG
People. In a conversation on Benny
Pottses frunt steps about wat they
was going to be wen they grew up.-t
was found out that Reddy Merry is
going to be a genrel in the army or
a admiral in the navy whichever il
most convenient, Sid Hunt is going 10
be a parachute dropper out of aireo-
planes. and Benny Potts, Ed Wernick,
Lew Davis and Skinny Martin are
going to be candy taisters.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1921-04-23

drum would mark off all the news of
the day, as it was flashed from Wash
ington, Paris, london or Moscow. The
record could then be- deciphered at
leisure.
Prices of farm products in cities
could be collected each afternoon and
sent out by radio under the supervi-
sion of the department of agriculture
Newspaper offices will be able to
catch radiograms direct from distant
lands, transcribe the accurate record
and give you even more rapid service
than under present conditions.
Warships, equipped with the re-
corder, would avoid errors in the re-
ceiviRg of messages which are now
possible. Should an admiral of the
fleet wish to send radiograms to the
various ships the commanders will
have record of what was sent, which
can be filed away and brought up in
connection with the orders should any
slip occur The responsibility now
placed on the hearing of one or more
men, on the receiving endS would be
eliminated.
Merchant ships, by having the re-
corder placed beside the ships chro-
nonleter, would have an automatic
check on their timepiece every day
when signals are sent out from OBJ
servatories.
The invention will mean much to
ships lost or in distress. Even if the
wireless man on board got seasick or
died, the ship would be able to receive
information, by having certain marks
on the condenser head showing where
to turn to listen for powerful sending
stations Even a layman could turn
knob until the arrow pointed to An
napolis, Paris or London, and the rec
ord would be taken down in black and
white, to be read or deciphered at any
chosen time
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1921-04-23

The New York legislature has
knocked out the direct primaries.
Commenting on this action the Hart
ford Courant says: There goes an
other development of theory. which
failed in practice. There is no ques-
ton that. if everybody would do his
political duty, the primary might be
the best method of selection. But, in
fact. the scheme. as it works, involves
heavy expense, fails to draw out full
votes, and has not produced any re-
suits that are better than the older
and more representative system pro-
duced at less cost and effort
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1921-04-23
Dorothy Dix Talks
RY DOROTHY DIX
Worlds Highest Paid Woman Writer.
The Difference,
A correspondent writes:

A correspondent writes:
Som etimes you speak of those of us
who earn our own living as business
women sometimes as working girls
What is the difference, between a bust
ness woman and a working girl?"
All the difference in the world, my
dear. The difference between a bust
ness woman and a working girl is the
difference between a career and a job
1t is the difference between the one
who works with her gaze fixed on the
future, and one who works with her
eye on the clock. 1t is the difference
between the one who mulls over the
problem she is engaged in, and the
one who chews gum. It's the diff
ference between the women who get
there, and those who never arrive
anywhere.
A business woman is one who has
definite purpose in mind. When
she starts to work she has a goal
before her to which she steers She
may start out as cash girl in a store,
but she means to be high-priced
buyer and go to Paris twice a year.
She may begin stamping envelopes in
an office, but she is determined some
day to sit in the chair by the boss S
mahogany desk and take his dicta-
tary.
The working girls only aim in life
is to rope some man into being her
meal ticket. All jobs, and all work
look alike to her because they are
just a stopgap until the blessed hour
arrives when she can get married,
and as she fondly hopes, sit down on
the do-nothiag stool for the balance
of her life.
She has no ambitions that go
farther than a new sports suit and
aspirations except to have beaux and
a good time.
The business woman knows that it
is only brains that count in business,
and she makes herself as sexless as
a piece of office furniture. She is as
neat, and tidy, and well groomed as
possible, because a pleasing appear
ance is a valuable asset to every hu-
man being, but she banks on her
good work to get her the advantages
she wants. She does not expect to
win them by her feminine appeal.
The working girl plays up her sex
gette blouses and high-heeled slippers
to work, and spends more time
powdering her nose than she does at
labor. She languishes over mems
desks, and always has to have some
body sharpen her pencils or put on
her typewriter ribbons, or lift heavy
books for her, or do something else
that will show how pretty and help
less she is, and how in need of a
strong arm to support her. She rolls
her eyes at her boss, and tries to
make filtration take the place of
knowing how to spell, and punctuate,
and add I'm fi0JrraS
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1921-04-23
George Matthew Adams
Daily Talk
MUCH AND LITTLE.

having a great deal-you can GIVE a
great deali
And yet 1 can come into consider
able envy when 1 see the happy man
on his small plot of ground, working
in his field, with his COW or SO, and a
few pigs, some chickens, dog. a
horse, a housewife who understands,
and a few smiling toddlers to get dirty
faces-so that all may not be exactly
perfect.
With much in your hands, you have
Responsibility to house as well. But
with little you may go to bed more
promptly at night time and rise just
that much earlier with the sun,
We really appraise our own values
in this little life.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1921-04-23

United States of $4,000. 100000 plus
two years unpaid interest. 1t is re-
ported that small sum to be applied
to this debt already has arrived. If
tho United States owed its huge debts
to foreign nations instead of to it's
own people, perhaps the federal treas
ury would be showing a surplus in
stead of a deficit.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1921-04-23
JUST FOLKS
BY EDGAR A. GUEST.

PURPOSE.
I'll count my life worth while
If only they shall smile
If they have hearts to sing,
L can bear anything.
If but the home / keep.
Is blest with gentle sleep.
Knows laughter and content,
I'll count my life well spent.
If in me they take price,
L shall be satisfied.
Failure may launch her blow,
But steadfast l shall 20.
This dread alone / fear
That they may suffer here.
If they keep faith in me,
Undaunted / shall be.
If only they shall smile.
I'll count my life worth while.
Copyright, 1921. by Edgar A.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1921-04-23

1t is suggested by the st. Louis
Times that holders of liberty bonds
register them in order to render them
unmarketable by thieves. If bond
holders realized the amount of red
tape encountered in making trans
fer of a registered bond they probably
would prefer taking chances with the
bandits
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1921-04-23

The introduction of a bill in the
United States senate proposing to pay
a pension of SIC, 900 a year to express
idents during their natural life has
started considerable discussion of this
question. Many persons perhaps
think that Mr.. Wilson. for instance,
has cost the country too much al
ready
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1921-04-23

Maryland's direct tax bill of sS&,-
452.S67 in 1920 was thirteen times its
education bill for 1918 and more than
half it's school bill for the ninety five
years. from 1925 to 1920. But prob
ably there is the same complaint over
high school taxes in Maryland that
there is in Kansas
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1921-04-23

The New York law designed to pro-
tect tenants from the exactions of al
legged profiteering landlords has been
sustained by the United States SUI
.preme court. But rent laws will not
build houses and if there were a SUI
ficient number of houses there would
be no necessity for regulatory legisla-
FiNr,
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1921-04-23

A Hungarian priest has been arrest
ed for offering up a prayer in behalf
of Hungary's deposed king. Appar-
emily the Hungarians do not permit
their religion to interfere with their
notifies
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1921-04-23

In State Manager Kimbal1's indict-
ment of restaurants. hotels and din
ing cars he was hardly fair to the
cars. One can buy a better meal for
less money in the dining cars than he
can in the better class of Topeka res
taurants.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1921-04-23

The British fiscal year ending
March 81 shows a surplus revenue
over expenditures amounting to ST.
1855, 100000. That sum would mater
tally reduce the British debt to the
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1921-04-23
The Syringas Are Blooming.

Sir-Following the custom of most
readers of the Public Ledger, turned
to your column Wednesday morning
before reading any other part of the
paper. The opening paragraphs made
me happy for the day. 1 read them
to the adelaide" of my establish
ment. "Now," said I, isn't that what
I have tried to say a thousand times?"
Her answer was, 1T is perfectly true,
but the fool men who edit the papers
and write the stuff about women
why do they do it?'' ]. T. S.
In fragrant violation of Rule No. 9,
we pluck the foregoing blossom from
the conservatory of our correspon-
dence and flaunt it shamelessly in the
column. We do so because it's petals
infold a great truth. Sensible women
do not care for the pseudo-sentimenta
hokum that is printed about them. 1t
inks and annoys them. And woman's
influence on affairs will be in the
exact ratio to the extent in which
sensible women participate.
But women will exert very little in
fluence in affairs as long as the news
papers pretend the fool stuff they
print about them fairly expresses the
wisdom and the judgment of the sex.
New York authorities, after a week of
faltering and indecision, have decided
TO prefer charge of bigamy against
the gentlemanly stock broker who was
discovered living in one apartment
with two wives.
The reasonable conclusion is that
New York is Tightening up. But it
may be the charge against the
gentlemanly stock broker had its
origin in the feeling that he is a
''piker." Hitherto in New York it has
been the custom to provide a separate
apartment for each wife. The failure
of the gentlemanly stock broker to
observe this custom is a blow directed
at New York's civic pride.
They Certainly Are
Sir-Women may not be ''smar ter,"
but they are certainly different Wit
ness the daily comparison of watches
with the chronometer in the jewelers.
window. For the benefit of whoever
may be watching, men walk away inn
mediately with either an enthusiastic
or a contemptuous expression, while
women frankly correct their time
pieces on the spot. P. H. S.
The incident illustrates one of the
fundamental differences between men
and women: Men are always cognt-
ZdHC VI lIS luOuSnI tildI SOHleDOQy
may be watching. A woman plays to
her audience only when she is dressed
for the occasion and the role; a man
is on exhibition all the time.
Mr.. Chesterton has returned to his
native heath after enlivening what
otherwise would have been a very dull
winter for the intelligensia. His lee
ture tour was profitable. We trust
we violate none of the rules of hos
pitality in expressing the opinion that
he took back with him more than he
left behind.
Mr.. Chesterton's criticism of pro-
hibition was able and interesting.
But this country could have had an
equally able criticism for less money.
There are thousands of capable
Americans who are willing to criti-
CHE prohibition for nothing.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1921-04-23

Labor strikes follow the flag.
Transportation is tied up in Porto Rico
because the railroad employees refuse
to work. Even the mails are held up.
The Porto Ricans are rapidly fitting
themselves to become full Pledged
Americans
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1921-04-23

copyright, 1920. by tbe Wheeler Syndicate
Incl
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1921-04-23
ON SECOND THOUGHT
By JAY z. HOUSE
tFron Philadelphia Public Ledsas.i

Grantland Rice's story of President
Harding's game was interesting and
illuminating, save in one particular:
Mr.. Rice didn't say how many clubs
the presi0ent compels his caddie to
carry.
MIR. Rice thinks one can get a good
line on most men thru round of
golf. We don't believe it is necessary
to go around with man. All we ask
is permission to count his clubs.
Granted that, we can get all the line
we are ever likely to need.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1921-04-23

But women will exert very little in
fluence in affairs as long as the news
papers pretend the fool stuff they
print about them fairly expresses the
wisdom and the judgment of the sex.