The Washington herald., 1921-04-10

The astronomer declared thatscer-
tain faint spots on the sun, Warren
IGamaliel, are the sHirambora-
| hensis spots. They indicate politi-
cal measles--irritating but not
/ dangefous"'' - ss-'s-
FLASHES of light darting from the
Bull constellation were declared. to
be "the normal activity OF the con-
steliation, and one called shooting
the bull"
A call came for DR.. Sawyer. It
was explained that Brig, Gen. Saw
yer was present. An inquiry de-
veloped the fact that there was a
man in the ante-room who needed
n doctor.
who is he and, what is the mat
ter with him?" was asked.
| 81 think 1t, Is Senator Borah. He
Is suffering from a dislocated Jaw"
General withhoids Aid.
After consulting with Gen. Saw
yer. a member reported that the
general says that, in the interests
Of naval preparedness. he must de-
cline to take the case"
| A dilapidated Individual, wearing
an old bathrobe. sandals, whiskers,
and a battered plug hat. and carry
ing a lantern. forced himself into
the dining room and introduced
himself as Diogenes. In reply to
queries he asserted that his job was
finished and he had found an hon
est man. ,
"Just outside that there curtain
he said, pointing, Il met one Of
President Harding's Cabinet. ]
slapped him on the back-he's the
Ekind that stands for it-and asked
him: How's the new jobr He LOOK
ed. all around and then whispered
in my ear: Say. Diog. old scout. I
don't know thing about 1t SO far.
There's an honest man for you!
He set me back a minute, but then
whispered: Mr.. Secretary, believe
me. you are only starting in where
the last Cabinet left orr"
A disconsolate gentleman, attired
in a linen duster and wearing q
broad-brimmed hat, was discovered
wandering about the room. Asked to
Identify himself, he declared, Il am
the only surviving private citizen
of Marion. Ohio"
Mr.. Coolidge Quite Busy.
A little later a silk hated gentle
|
| was discovered rushing violently
across the dining room. only to re-
trace his steps in the same hurried
fashion After several trips he was
checked and required to expose his
business. He turned out to be Vice
President Coolidge.
He says" reported a club officer,
that he is very sorry to disturb the
dinner, but he Is doing his best to
keep his engagements between the
Cabinet room and the Senate"
Two men representing themselves
as Senator Oscar Underwood and
Representative Claude Kitchin, were
found acting suspiciousiy and were
brought before the club president by
a policeman. The purported Senator
protested. -.
We bring the olive branch sig
nifying peace" he declared. 1--WE
stand ready to assist our Republican
brethren to a realization OF their
desire for a successful administra-
ton" .r
I'VE come as messengers Of amity
and goodwill" proclaimed the ap-
parent Mr.. Kitchin. I'VE desire to
help; not to hinder. We bring
peace: not the sword. Republicans
will always find Us at their backs In
every effort to promote normally"
Democratic AnseIsf ImpossibIei
But the suspicious policeme
dragged the coats from the backs of
the two and revealed them as a pair
Of Eunmen. armed to the teeth with
knives, daggers. pistols and 4
Isawed-off shotgun
Look at your angels Of peace
said the policemen. Beware Of d
Democrat who shouts 'Kamerad.'"
A telephone bell rang violently. A
member answered. 1t to find that Sen
ator Reed, of Missouri, was on the
phone asking that a message be de-
Ilivered to Secretary Hoover who was
among the guests. AS the message
came over the wire. the member
who had answered the telephone
registered horror. .
- WON'T can't, Senator Reed
lie calculated. TT is utterly impos-
sible to deliver such a message.
wouldn't deliver such a message
even IL Gen. Dawes sent it. Go to
what? Wait a minute. Mr.. Hoover
says he will be glad to meet you
there and you ought not to lack for
hot air in that place. Cut IL
out" .
At this point, smoke proceeded
from the instrument and the phone
cord was found TO be on fire.
!, Heavens. he's fused the wire
said the member, fainting.
As a souvenir of the dinner each
guest received a little book OF
"Gridiron Fables and Wonder Tales, E"
dealing with the personalities OF
some of the famous guests present
each fable illustrated by c. X. Ber-
ryman.
Those who Attended.
The complete list of those present
follows: -fE ~ -
The President of the United
States, the Vice President of the
United States, the French Ambas-
sador. the Belgian Ambassador, the
Italian Ambassador, the Peruvian
Ambassador, the British Ambassa-
dor, the Secretary of State, Mr.. JUS
tice Pitney. United States Supreme
Court; Mr.. Justice McReynolds,
United States Supreme Court: the
Speaker of the House of Represent
atives, the Secretary of the Treas
ury, the Secretary of War, the At
torney General, the Secretary Of the
Navy, the Secretary of the Interior,
the Secretary of Agriculture. the
Secretary of Labor.
| The Chinese Minister; Franklin
:. Adams, Pan American Union: J. II.
Adams, Baltimore Sun; Milton E.
Allies. Washington, ID. c.; Robert e.