davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-05-11
HUM ANISMS
William Anterior Du Puy-

When he was a youngster and being
trained for diplomacy, says Ambassador Jusser-
and, the American representative OF France, IT
was hard Tor hin TO understand Jnst What SWIM
ming, boxing, riding, had to DO with That profess
sion. The accomplishments stood him In good
stead however. in the days Of Theodore Roose-
Welt.
The President used to telephone around to his
intimstes and make engagements for various
sorts OF expeditions. Wear your worst clothes
he would say. II finally came to pass, after much
penetration of briar thickets and swimming OF
streams. "trocites" they called the expeditions
clothes"
IL was an unusual day when they hailed
darby with Ieaky boat to take them over to \
muddy island in the Potomac. When they were
aboard Mr.. Roosevelt put his hand on the French
Ambassadors shoulder struck an attitude. ana
said;
washington and Rochsmbeau crossing the
Delaware"
n When finally they reached the island. they
searched their pockets in vain. Here a
President OF the United States, two diplomats
the Secretary Of Interior and an Assistant, secre-
tary of Navy and not enough money between
them to pay the boatmah,
That destiny often nnds us unwilling tools in
. her hands is attested by senator William Paul
Dillingham;, of Vermont. one OF the cultured and
distinguished members Of the upper hons" Of
senator Dillingham;. for ,nstrac.s, claims 10
credit for having chosen the co IRIS, tina; was his
He did not want to be q la yyer. Hiss father was
a lawyer ahead OF him and bad th- reputation
of being a brilliant advocate; The youngster
was discouraged by his fathers pronounced
success. He could never expect, 10 approximate
IT.. ~. d --s ~ =
So he went to work in grocery store He
found that he had comne rciai ihstipct what
ever that he did not take to this calling that 1t
was incomparably abhorre1t to him. He WAS q
very unhappy young man. S,.
At about this tine an unc' = wross him from
Minnesota The uncle suggested that this young.
ster come out 10 Minnesota aud read law III n,s
Office He accepted the inyitatiou,' not that he
had any enthusiasm for the pro 'pect bus that he
might escape the grocery 1tors -.
So was he started toward the United states
Senate -,
n, Ia further from the Bowery to Fifth ay-
en,,e II has been asserted. than II is from
Nevada 10 that same fashionable thorougnfase.
This OF course. is but another way OF asserting
that the haunts of the successful are more accsy-
sihle to those residents of the great waste PLACES
than to the teemng tenements next. door.
Ewing pporte. who grew up on cattle
ranch in wyoming subscrbes to this theory
He Ia assistant secretary Of the Treasury OF Z
1he United states at the sge of twenty-seven.
We received commission TO that post from
president Wilson in December last. In March he
aot a second handsomely engraved, ft-to-frame
ca rdboard. bearing the signature OF one Warren
@. Harding. - - -. 80
: THE cattle country challenges Wall street, New
yorh and Broad street. Philadelphia. to beat this
record. l5set
tcopyrigbt 1871 bv 800 ledger Coz
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-05-11
Lloyd Georges Wise Words
On What JustifIes Var

rope they had a different idea. They
thought we should enter league
and hold ourselves ready to go to
war, send our men and our money,
when ANYBODY'S honor, safety or
freedom is menaced.
They thought we should, if called
upon, go to war to arrange matters
in Armenia, or Mesopotamia, or
Czecho-S lovakia, or the Ukraine, or
Egypt, or India.
What do you think on the subject
now that you have heard what Lloyd
George thinks and says for England
If England, next door to France,
recently saved by France from abso-
lutte destruction, can afford to ig-
more the appeal Of France and refuse
to fight Russia in order to recover
the thirty billions owing to France,
why should the United States be
bound to go three thousand miles
across the oceans on the demand of
any Peace League and mixing in the
,troublei
The duty of this country is exactly
the same as the duty of England, as
Lloyd George. frankly outlines it, to
attend to its own business and be in
volved in war or the quarrels of
other nations only when there came
:" the most imperative call of national
honor, national safety and national
freedom, by which is meant, be it
understood, AMERICAN HONOR,
SAFETY and FREEDOM.
What England has just said to
France through the mouth of Lloyd
George, this country says to all Eu-
rope. We decline to be drawn into
your quarrels; war is only justified
by an attack on our national honor,
safety and freedom. We will attend
to that when the time comes.
They hope to drag in Harding on
pretext. They won't succeed.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-05-11
a Model 7ubercuL1r School
For WnshingtOn
BY BILL PRICE.

The strong hold Senator CAPPER of Kansas has upon
his constituents wholly due to the fact that he travels
close to the ground where the of his fellow moras
are and in that way keeps in contact with human desires
and sentiments His head is not up the Clouds is it
influenced by considerations other than those of what the
general run of the people ask for and want
F. With good common and sympathetic under
standing OF local subjects the Kansas Senator chair
man OF the special committee schools has heard and
enough OF the needs of Washngtons school system to de-
erne him to to the Senate the support Of the
full program asked by the District Commissioners and
school authorities.
Congressman FOCHT, in the House,. would even go
farther than this program and in both Senate and House
there opposition to the appropriations asked for
There is Congressional sentiment that the APP
preparations should be fully 100000.
One item in the school program should merit special
attention is the for building for tubercuar
white children Without extravaganza but merely by ut
ing existing Government agencies, here is opportunity
ito establish institution that will be model for the world
the treatment of the most dreaded of diseases Besides
modern building the legislation should direct that the
most skilled surgeons of the public health service should be
designated to attend the sick little and to supervise
their health routine Proper food in midday hours should
be supplied free of charge and teachers parents chill
dren instructed in the best methods of combating the
disease n.G So
Government big that of the United States can
afford to establish at least ONE school that might do much
eradicate tuberculosis among the school children of the
United States Such school would be for Washington
only Its good work could and would benefit the world
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-05-11
= GU read Lloyd Georges state
ment that England has no in

N W read Lloyd Georges state
ment that England has no in
tention Of joining France in
any attack on Russia.
The Peace League is all very well.
but it falls into the background, ac-
scording to Lloyd George, when one
nation in the league (France) wants
J to fight to get back thirty billions
! of francs lent to the car, and an
! other nation in the league (England)
wants no more fighting, knowing
that its workmen won't stand it.
Read this paragraph from Lloyd
Georges speech:
"When the terrible question Of peace or
war has to be decided, our arst duty as
Government ID to the people who trust
us not TO- commit their trsasurs to any
THE MOST IMPERATIVE CALL OF
NATIONAL H o N OR, NATIONAL.
SAFETY AND NATIONAL FREEDOM
CAN JUSTIFY WAR. Before this coau-
try il committed to 1t. even in the most
limited form. we must be satisfied these
are In PERIL
You notice especially the line:
National honor, national safety and
national freedom"
An attack on those things only
JUSTIFIES WAR.
Everybody knows that there will
be no hesitation here about looking
after the national honor, safety and
peace" of the United States.
No League of Nations, no Peace
League necessary to make this coun-
try attend to the three: Honor, safet-
and freedom, affecting America.
You have here Lloyd Georges
very clear statement, at the very
beginning Of the Peace League, that
England will not interest itself in
wars, not, even to help her dearest
friend, France, to recover thirty bill
lion francs from Russia, unless the
national honor, safety and free
dom" OF ENGLAND are concerned.
But for the United States in Eu-
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-05-11
Mr.. NelUberry's 'VindicutiOn'
By the u. S. Supreme Court

fpose of securing his election to the
United States Senate. The use of
$4,000 was proved, but the total
cost of Senator Newberry's seat is
said to have been more than
100000.
The Supreme Court has not ques-
toned the suffciency of the evil
dence. 1t set aside the conviction
and the prison sentence of Senator
Newberry upon the ground solely
that, while Congress has the right
to limit the use of money by can
didates in elections, the corrupt or
excessive expenditures were not in
an election, but in a primary TO
secure his election. The court holds
that Congress has no constitutional
power or control over primaries.
As the nine judges of the Su-
preme Court all concur in this de-
cision none can dispute it as a
matter of law. To buy a Senator
ship in an election is still a crime.
But if the purchase is made in the
primaries, it is no crime, and Con-
gress has nothing to do with it.
Chief Justice White deserves the
thanks of the country for saving
that some way will have to be
found, even if constitutional
amendment is necessary, to give
Congress power over primaries
otherwise Government cannot
i've" The Chief Justice calls at,
tention to the fact that in nearly,
all the Southern States and in mapv
Northern ones the primary controls.
and the subsequent election is "still-
born, and without weight or sig,
niicance.
Senator Newberry's satisfaction
over his escape is natural and easily
understandable. But his comment
that "the> good name of Michigan
has been absolutely cleared" and
that "those who were associated
with me have been indicated
shows that he fails to comprehend
the moral aspects of his case, or the
view that nine tenths of his country
men of all parties take of it.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-05-11
<<I AM thankful" said Senator
Newberry unctuously on hear


ing that the Supreme Court
of the United States had reversed
the verdict against him, "that the
good name of Michigan has been
absolutely cleared"
Now the good name of Michigan,
so far as it was furnished at all,
suffered only because a group of
millionaires set out to purchase a
membership in the United States
Senate for Mr.. Newberry-ahd sue
ceeded.
Political conditions were such
that it was reasonably certain that
the possession of the Republican
nomination would assure an cleo
ton. That nomination was secured
after campaign in which the ex-
penditures of money amazed even
the Michigan politicians not accus-
toned to seeing Senatorial elections
won by poor men.
Money permeated the political air
of Michigan from Bob-Lo to the
500. and had the National Govern
ment that year been able to
levy an excess profit tax on political
workers the Federal Treasury would
have been enriched.
The crisp crackle of the green
backs attracted the attention Of
those who chung to the old-fashioned
idea that Scholarships were not put
up on the auction block, and in
dictments followed. Seventeen de-
PENDANTS, including Newberry, were
found guilty of violating the Federal
Corrupt Practices law and were
sentenced to heavy fines and peni-
tertiary terms ranging from a few
months to two years.
Among those convicted were a
principal of Detroit schools, a for
mer president of the Detroit Cham
Der of Commerce, an editor, and
fine assortment of State officials.
The specific charge on which
Newberry was convicted was that
he conspired with these and others
in spending 100000 for the pur-
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-05-11
Stars and Stripes

Hard luck is the excuse Of those who
look for easy gains. -.
A bad habit is the only thing that can
be conquered by giving up.
Different minds are like different eli
mates, and literature is the commerce that
makes possible an exchange of fruits.
The strongest argument in favor of our
beliefs il living up to them.
The man who does what he pleascs
pleases very few with what he does
A man must show the world how to
honor his word by honoring il first himself.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-05-11
HOW THE ..LAMB" FEEks.
One of these blue law boosters
lives in my neighborhood. but
caught him reading Heard and
Seen one Sunday.
7 EVELYN GOLDBERG.
THE GROUCHY CONDUCTOR.

I've got his number; it's twenty -,
Hes just the mesnest man alive,
That disposition he can keep
m upon II he can thrive.
He b-r-r-r's when you get on his 'buss.
He's b-r-r-r-ing when you leave IT,
Itss fuse AND cuss and cuss and fuss,
Just zee him and you'll believe ".
Don't know his name. Amt anxious to,
I'm sure he's never even happy,
I think Of him as old Zu-zu.
Cause he's 80 dosg"ne snappy.
Tom--There's something about the
sea that makes a fellow sad.
Jack-Yes.- it's the wind ablowins
the froth over the bar. q. 8.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-05-11
RADIATION
POSSIBILITIES
coayrisft. 1871. b. sear co9psny
BY EDGAR LUCIEN LARkIN
Director Of Mt. LoVe Observd-
fOrH


by EDGAR LUCIEN LARkIN
Director Of Mt. LoXe Observe
tory.
The very remarkable
achievement just made by
Physicist Albert A. Michael
son. the actual measuring of
the diameter of the giant sun
Beteleuese by means OF the
physical phenomena in
volved in Interference of
light opens a vast field for
exploration.
Intrigues fringes have
long been known. and bands
of darkness. absence OF light
treated automatically: but
the application Of these laws
OF nature to measuring the
diameter of distant stars, all
suns. Is new. Waves of
light are In length from-the
shortest violet, $4,000 to the
inch, to the longest red. 49,
ono to the inch. These con-
stitute the ends OF the Wis
ible spectrum. with all other
colors between. But the
visible waves are the least
part Of the spectrum. the In
visible. the mira red and
ultra violet radiations. ex.
tending out to many times
the length of the visible.
The intense hope of new
, scientific discoveries is in
tfte. ultra-ultra.violet undula-
tons. These are so short
and rapid that Imagination
is submerged. : go
There may be waves
shorter until waves as short
as the Roentgen are reach
ed. And there are intima-
tions now that waves7totslly
different from the ordinary
Roentgen exist.
Dim lave. so far in out
line. are apparently emery
ing from the mists of the
unknown. III they become
proved then all laws at
present known will be mere
little bylaws.
Suppose. for instance. that
Michelson's methods could
be used in rapid waves, run
ming down to legnths Of
millionths or billionths or
an inch. Rays have been
discovered that are more
penetrating than the Roent-
gen. Every part OF the liv-
ing human BODY can be seen
by means OF these waves.
and the blood in circulation
in every minute, vessel in
the entire circulatory sys-
tenn.
But these waves must be
modified by the peculiar
process OF fuorescence, ,
where chemicals render in
visible waves visible. Short
rapid waves have been re-
Elected into and out of dia-
monds. sides OF cryta's In
the diamonds reflected them
out. and the structure OF
diamonds within Is now
known. The entire struc-
ture OF matter may be dis
covered by sending these
obscure waves through them
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-05-11
.Once-Overs
Copyright 1921, 1nternati onai Feature Service Inc
USELESS QUESTIONS.
n Il

BY 3D. MCNDy.
Don't ask Questions that you could answer II
you would think. 81 p ','
There are few SO annoying as those who will
ask Information rather than think or look for
themselves. ~
1t should not be necessary for anyone to give
you the same information more than once.
In nearly every office there are some employees
who depend on others to tell them things they
should know about their own work
When told they merely use the Information for
the time being. and make no effort to impress
their own minds with the necessary facts.
VI Is an easy way to avoid thinking. and II also
W JUST the way to lose ultimately the power to
think
Der tor you. isn't II?
IL Is so easy to let the other fellow keep track
OF the way the wind blows ftgurstively speaking.
Mental laziness Is the worst form Of iaxiness
and Ia mental suicide.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-05-11
FOR ANAGRAM FANS. T

A. L. L., of Takoma Park, thinks
that "anagram fans" OF the column
do not grow tired of good anasramr.
He suggests that to decipher or invent
anagrams satisfactorily, . good way
s TO get a set Of cardboard letters to
be found in the toy departments of
larger stores. He offers these ana
grams:
Best in Prayer Into My Arm.
Nay, I Repent Roast Mules.
There We Sat. Hens Near Dead.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-05-11

Here We have Prof. Philip Mco,asE
The great scotch scientist, who ssys
frot Moonshein, In his theory, has
fact that altho' the corpoience Of the
trspexoids may be accounted for in
more ways than one. the fact remains
tnat the earth's crust 10 stilI In the
process OF cooling. and that this would
seem to prove that no matter how
thick pane Of glass 10, an atom 10 In
oirect proportion TO the size collar
worn by the President and the date of
the next total eclipse Of the moon.
The inclosed picture, q reproductio~
OF famous painting BY l. Dsubit, was
furnished by the National Academy of
hppIed Nonsense, snd the original now
that society In Alexsndria. IL repre-
resents the professor solving the
weighty problems OF the universe.
wv. p LYNN
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-05-11

Having seen newspaper accounts
| of Virginia hogs deriving daily
jags from close residence to moon
| shine stills. have already de-
cided where will spend my va
| cation. SAM
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-05-11
We TOWNE GOSSIP
Registered U. q Patent once
D. Y - ID
BY K. c. b.

ON A bright May day.
IN THE early
morning.
BEFORE THE crowds.
WERE ON the street.
l HAPPENED out.
NO MATTER why.
AND IN a block.
WHERE GREAT
stores are.
A WOMAN stood.
AND ALL alone.
A WOMAN aged.
IT SEEMED to me.
BY EARTHLY toll.
IF NOT by years.
AND IN her hands.
y
A PAIL and broom.
AND I surmised. -
SHE'D SPENT the
night.
IN sCRUBBING /.
floors.
.
AND NEARING her.
J SAW she cried.
AND WHAT it was.
THAT MADE her CIV.
1 DIDN'T know.
EXCEPT 1T seemed.
BETWEEN HER Z
tears.
SHE GAZED on
something.
in A frame,
WITHIN THE window.
OF A store.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-05-11
JONAH AND THE WHALE
WAS TT ALL ALLEGORyCNLy

There are signs that the scientists
Of H and are going to send a dele
CATION somewhere to determine VI II
was really q whale that swallowed
Jonah.
b. b. ROSSELL avows that 1t was
not, because the throat OF a whale ia
too small to Gulp even a small man
down whole. and In this case Jonah
was evidently swallowed whole, for
he came out that way and not all
shredded IA IL he was a breakfast
food.
w. ID. PAYNE is dubious as to
whether II was that other sea mon
ster discovered by the Prince CT
Moaaco that gobblcd Jonah. He docsn't
1Gleve 7, as. because II II was IS
large rs described there was no use
in Jonah remaining three days. He
could just as well have crzwled cot
In less than that time.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-05-11
EXPLANATORY.

she was the me plus ultra Of dsbonalr.
rhi. morning she held one hand In the str
Not because II gave her pain,
But { oshow again and again.
Her betrothaI gem. = beautiful soiiisre
- 't n. SMITH.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-05-11

President HARDING's secre-
tary moved from Letter Carrier
BILLY" PRALLE'S route. He
said that was no place for q
CHRISTIAN to live. CLARA.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-05-11
Fortunate Gil

! know one Wsshingtop girl who
has picnic. She has two suitors. one
the son OF a local florist, and the
ether tho son OF 4 candy manufac-
turer. II she could only add Jewell
sr's son to the list sne'd be in clover.
E. o SUILLEABHAIN.
JUST FACTS.
A man may be steady but he
need not be motionless.
Some fellows who married be-
cause they were homeless are
now home less.
Mumps. measles and love are
not SO dangerous II they come in
, early life.
A hen hasn't laid every time
she cackles. w. A. /.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-05-11
1EARl. 5EEr
RELATIyITY EXPLAINED.

RELATIVELY EXPLAINED.
The bending of q ray of light.
The gun eclipsed and out OF sight
With gravity pulling all its might,
That's relatively.
The conception Of q spherical space.
Mercury's behavior In it's orbital'race.
Where Euclidian innnity has lost its place.
That's relatively.
Distinguishing reference bodies becomes .
great art,
Density In the theory plays . big part.
whether student or theory calls for pro-
clivity
what ts the snswerf
Ask Relatively. q. r. ID.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-05-11

AND IN the block.
AS ] went on.
THERE . WAS no one.
BUT JUST US two.
AND AS l came.
TO WHERE she was.
AND HEARD her
sobs.
SHE WIPED her eyes.
IN HURRIED way.
AND STARTED off.
WITH TIRED step.
AND WITH her
bucket.
AND HER broom.
AND WHERE she'd
stood.
l STOPPED and
looked.
AND IN the window.
OF THE store.
A POSTER stood.
THAT SAID to me.
THAT YOU and |.
SHOULD NOT forget.
OUR WOUNDED men.
FROM OVERSEAS.
AND THAT was all.
e
AND I wondered.
IF SHE scrubbed.
BECAUSE SOME boy.
n.
HADC COME back.
home. :.
IN HELPLESS state.
AND BEEN forgotten.
BUT BY her.
e.
l THANK you.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-05-11
HAIR STYLE. OR THE
PLIGHT OF THE JAMES

Tn. long flowing name, 10 they say.
Ia once more the thing Of the day.
which makes the bobbed thatch,
Though easy to match,
A style even now quite pssse!
PRIV what can the poor 6sppers doy
Their hair is not now where " grew
There's no whence to fetch II,
There's no way to stretch II,
It's surely q sad how dyou do.,~,,.
HOW THE "LAMB" FEEhs.
Isn't IL enough to make q big,
husky man feel SHEEPfsh to
have his wife address him, in
loud voice. as my LAMBr As
he CHOPS weeds in his backyard
garden he can hear the neighbors
giving him a ROAST and II puts
him In an awful STEW for the
rest of the day. 1t certainly does
get a fellows GOAT. doesn't 1t
Bill? HUN =. BuNCh'
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-05-11

That curfew law Chicago has now
wouldn't be bad thing for Wash
ington. M. L.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-05-11
WE'LL WAIT AND SEE.
Germany Given Till May 18th

to Settle"
tHeadline)
sounds all right. but, as GOLDBERG
would say. TT doesn't mean any
thing" JULES BACKENHEIMER.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-05-11

Theater Usher Plenty of good
seats in the first and second rows.
Patron-Do you know any more
good jokes? r. D. y.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-05-11
JUST FACTS.

A. PEssIMIST isa gent who
is wrong 80 times out OF 100.
OIDoNO.