davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New-York tribune., 1921-05-15
Orchestra Pits Are Built
For Piccolos, Not Pianos

The orchestra pit Of the RITZ is not made
to hold grand piano. It would easily ac-
commodate less bulky instrument, like pic
colo or harnlonica, but grand piano, no. Con-
sequently, since was using a grand the bass
end OF the keyboard went in under the stage
apron for an indefinite distance, while the
treble end nestled costly among the seats in
row A. This condition brought about nv
great discovery that the world is divided into
intelligent people, who can manage their feet.
and people who can't The latter are also nos.
sessed of low imaginative powers. When thew
SIT behind red-curtained brass rail and see
the end of piano keyboard sticking out from
under the curtain they can't for the life of
them guess that there is probably piano
somewhere in the neighborhood. This Ia NOT
SEX distinction. Some Of the uaen wha
shared my piano shoss evenings might hsva,
been Ieeless, for all knew. there were others
New-York tribune., 1921-05-15
Same Audience, Same Laughs
Same Place, Same Time

In the opening scene Of the pantomina !
kept the music going steadily until the lady ID
B-l4 (there always was a lady in B-14l saa
to her daughter (there always was dauga
teri, "My, dear! he's lost the soap!" follows
by a sibilant whisper through the house a.
every fourth person said "Soap!" under hf
breath. Then I knew that the Man Aboa
Town was in his tub and had lost the sosP
and would be getting out soon, and that it Ws'
time to get ready for the drying-of nuss
In the barber shop scene a snicker meant tas
the manicure had winked at the barber; 81
other, that the barber was pointing her on
to the Man About Town; third, that she Ts
smiling at the M. A. 7. and coming over to NM
a roar, that she was bufing his nails. In '@
taxicab scene it was safe to keep the "WnlSl
Tell" music going until somebody in the ir0e
row exclaimed, "Oh, it's a taxicab" I'D"
signifed that the Man About Town had pea
riding in the cab for some time and was ap0U
to be stopped by the traffic cop. They ness'
discovered what the scene was supposed
represent until it was half over. Then tns'
always announced it; which was my cue y
play the Funeral March Of Marionesn
One terrible night, though, the lady in D.i.
remarked intelligently, "Ah, a street carl y. !.
spoiled everything, for l looked up to sec .
they really were doing street car by misss'.
and missed my cue. In the opera box scene 0.s y
could safely let ones attention wander uu'n sn
some one laughed and said, "Oh, Clara, ~
you see that" Which was the sigma! . ~. :.
the waiting" music from Butterfly :,
Henry Smith, as the Dowager, had just snes's.
at the woman In the next box and the ~.
About Town would be making his snslsas'
directly.
Why they laugh when they do and why -. ..
always laugh at the same things and piss =
same things / don't know. Five weeks Ws'I
enough time in which to figure thsb ous !
the pantomime were 70 run another seas0s
Swo might hs able 70 sasvs tbs prcolssA
wonder II Mr.. HRS would consider u
New-York tribune., 1921-05-15

discovered that fact in time to shove them
back two rows before the performance began.
Next she put her right foot through the cur
tain and struck the opening chords of Orn-
STEMS "Wild Mems Dance" This seemed to
dlsconcert her little-possibly she had meant
to play something else---so she withdrew the
right leg temporarily from circulation and
crossed the left one so that it dangled above
the keyboard like those festoons at the back
of the ballroom scene in "Erminie" didn't
notice this at the moment, being busy at the
other end of the keyboard initiating a man
brushing his teeth something, but when
went after the next high note knew almost
Immediately that something was wrong. 1
didn't get the note; but think she got the
shock Of her life. She took her leg back
shortly after that. I never saw it again.
Funny about life, isn't It'll How the great tide
OF existence sweeps two of us together for
deeting instant, only to part us forever.
New-York tribune., 1921-05-15

little later it was figured that two barrels OF
glasses, even at IL cents glass, would amount
to mere $50 a month. An hours trade at
that long counter on busy day and that $50
expense would be accounted for, with more
margin than one gets in Christmas book OF
poems.
Also, the $l5-a-week clerk, In the days be-
fore the public appetite for ice cream had
grown to it's modern proportions, used to put In
part Of his time waiting on the chewing gum
counter, the book counter, the whisk broom
counter, the alarm clock counter, the safety
razor counter and the other counters which
keep the modern druggist wondering where he
can put counter for the sale Of mere pre-
scriptions-
Nowadays the soda clerk works at nothing
New-York tribune., 1921-05-15
The successor of the soda fountain.


pear, is filed with the froth and bubbles of the
mains in the stem of the glass is necessarily
small. The purposes of art are served, no
doubt, and the people are asthetically advanced
just SO far, owing to the blissful contemplation
Of the soda fountain glassware, but at the
same time there is undoubtedly financial ad-
vantage accruing to the retailer. But such
matters are never mentioned by the seller Of
soda water, and if they are brought up in his
presence he assumes such a panied expression
that the subject is dropped out of personal con-
sideration.
Chocolate is cheaper now than at any other
time in the worlds fevered history. Cream,
amid its urban settings, is not lifting any
New-York tribune., 1921-05-15
Sp-Gk-sag C,-s,f-d-r,e-ally
To The G.yss-e R-ud-r

Briefly, then, up to two weeks ago last
night was playing the piano accompaniment
for ssThe Mn Ab--t T--n," pantomime writ
ten by A~st~n String and produced at the RITZ
Theater az q curtain raiser to J-hn Drink
w-t-r's 'M-ry St--rt." The producer was
W-ll-m H-rr-s jr., but he wasn't actually in
the pantomime.
Never having written By xecollections Of
anythang before Eve been ccnaidsrably wog@
Sasd az 10 jnss whaS 10 put down. Possibly
the bert thing 10 DO IS simply 10 nut DOWN
New-York tribune., 1921-05-15

~W%HE great compensation 2or being an
eminent dramatic critic or a great
actor must be the possibility Of writing
New-York tribune., 1921-05-15

everything remember and everything have
learned In the course of my career, and let
the reader pick out whatever strikes him as
being genuine renliniscence.
First Of all, know Thomas's "Raimond"
overture practically by heart. They played it
every night just before the pantomime began,
and got so familiar with it that could start
from A-st-n Strings dressing room, on the
fourth floor, at a certain bar, and step into
the orchestra pit ready to bark my shins on
the piano bench just as the last note ended.
1t would take too long to explain the whole
thing in detail here, but in case you ever
have to play for pantomime to which the
overture is "Raimond" remember that you
should be started down the steps to the base
ment just as the orchestra is playing the theme
that goes "tiddy-U M-tadda- dunn, tiddy-UM-
tadda-dum." You'll be at the door Of the pit
by the time they're playing "TAHdada TAH-
dada dunn dunn da da"--but don't be fooled
into rushing In ahead Of time; there's still the
passage beginning "tiddle UNI tada da" to be
played before the final "tahm taDAH-H-Hl"
the signal for you to slide open the fireproof
door and fracture your skull on the edge Of
the stage. Of course / don't know much in
technical way about the principles of theater
building. but do know from observation that
the door of the orchestra pit must always be
foot too low. It's one of the fire department.
rules, believe
New-York tribune., 1921-05-15
All, All Is Froth Where
the Soda Glass Is Widest
Down Where the Lus5
Liquid Is 1t Tapers
Like a Morning Glory

cleaning cut glass--not even a coal shovsI,,
gets untidy any more quickly. II is es.,
imagine that soda clerks as boys were .l,..
the kind who fell into mud puddles :. !
slightest excuse.
Yet even IL they changed their outer -,
every hour, the laundry expense would b.,a.
be sufficient TO account for the vast osn /.
tween cheap cream, cheaper chocolate and ...
expensive ice cream soda.
Perhaps the answer may be found IN y.
prosperity of the statesmen who specia,,z. !.
soda fountain furniture.
For years the lot Of these statesmen has h..,
growing perceptibly better. AS soda fount,i,,
have grown more ornate, such men have ;o,,.a
fewer and better clubs. Nowadays drueyis,
are worried at the rapid changes in soda fon,.
tain styles. Back in the days when Mai.
Street was young, soda fountains vera A.,
signed by nobody in particular and sold !,
statesmen who had no designs on the enpIov,,
equipped with one nozzle. Nowadays sbs,
onyx frontages hold all the glass ornamsnts.
tion of Russian dancer and more stons AND
pedals than an organ in motion pictws
sheater. To play one OF these massive instr.
ments, one must take course under uaest,.
Yet these fountains are torn out every fen
years to make room for others more corusca.
ed and complicated
Probably the ice cream soda retreat Of la
future will look like the enchanted pardas
scene from "Parsifal,' with settings by Urban
and his peers.
In that case 40 cents, plus four cents war
tax, will merely take one over the threahoa.
The remainder of the expenditure for xa.
dae or soda will be quite at the dis:regea
of the proprietor-quite.
But even in that future day there will b.
places-as nowhere the furnishings are
not overly elaborate, and where that always
impressive element, the overhead, is not ex
cessive, and in consequence one may look for
a reasonable charge for ice cream soda
Will the ice cream seeker of the future find
such reasonableness in evidence?
He may-but right now the chasm between
the price Of raw material and the finished
ice cream soda never loomed larger and mors
uncompronisingly.
New-York tribune., 1921-05-15
Forgotten Chapters in Life
Of Late Mary Stuart

BY the way, while think of it, there Is one
point want to settle here and now. The
pantomme distinctly did not have anything
to do with the play. There was prologue.
but that came after. I wish the management
had made that clearer. Ever so MANY ueopIe
used to come in without programs, and when
the curtain would go up, revealing Austin
Strong, Henry Smith and George Mitchell. in
whlteface, dressed in colored jackets and white
tights. whole box parties would spend pug
zled half hour trying to reconcile the pam
toniine with the domestic life Of Msry Stuart.
heard one man waste most Of his evening
trying to convince his wife and daughter that
Austin Strong was Claire Eames
None of this has much to do with the nanto
mime itself, but. to tell the truth never saw
much of the pantomine, except during re-
hearsals and the first performance or two.
The piano was SO placed that could see the
stage only by practically wringing my own
neck, and it was much easier to watch the
audience for my cues. For did make. all
over again. the discovery that George M.
Conan made so long ago: that, generally speak
ing, it's always the same audience and always
laughs at the same times and makes the same
comments in the same places. One could plot
tha whole psnscnains solely cn the laughs and
comments For example, whsn Ernest Hunscr.
who was the Chronicl@r. came before the cur
New-York tribune., 1921-05-15

rW~%HE great compensation FOR being an
eminent dramatic critic or a great
N actor must be the possibility OF writing
book Of "reminiscences after it's all
over. It must be great for the critic to be
able TO look forward to the day when he can
walk up to the "CLOSrNG OUT SOC. EA."
counter at Liggetts and see eight sets of his
Cruising Among the Aisles hopefully await
ing purchaser. Or say, just for fun, you're
an actor. How pleasant it must be, some
times, to think that at any minute you can stop
acting, get some bright young newspaper man
to write your One Thousand and One Night
Stands illustrated with sixteen portraits of
the author), present copy to the Lambs and
settle back to well-earned rest.
New I'm not an actog--at least, not great
one: but have been on the stage recently, or
practically on IL. And since I've retired THAT
sounds more refined than just saying, brutally,
that the show closed) the next thing to do,
naturally, is to publish my "reminiscences This
is they. The title is Five Weeks of the
American Stage, and il my stage life hasn't
bean as long as Sarah Bernhardt's at least it's
been shorter, and won't take SO long to tell
about.
FIRST les me explain that this isn't press
story. Frankly, hoped at one time that Ii
would be, but 1t took so long to write that be-
fore could get II finished the production, or.
40 wa stage folk say, show, closed. So it's
psx1ecfly al right Cor me to use peoples real
nssasss and say where Il was, and everything.
however, TO DO on the safe side, shall dis
guise the names cleverly, the way Punch
does when the editors don't want anybody to
guess who the prime minister of England is
New-York tribune., 1921-05-15

tain to announce the performance, slight
ripple in the front rows meant that he bad
just said, land daily risks his life-in tan.
cabs" A giggle, later on, meant that he bad
referred to classic dancer as "Iadora Bun.
kem"
New-York tribune., 1921-05-15

Apparently, He Doesn't
Know II, for He Still
Charges War Prices, and
in His Line There Has
Been No Buyers Strike

n r ANY resident Of New York City hap
pens 20 spend his vacation ON an up<
Ia state farm next summer, and wishes 10
cheer his host beyond all ltngual express
sion, 1t will only be necessary to mention quite
casually, that there are places In town where
one has to pay 90 cents. plus war taxy SoI sn
Ice cream soda.
The farmer. who Is getting 60 little For his
milk and cream that he Is feeding every cow
at loss, probably win gyrate most conically
at this artfully conveyed intelligence. When
simpler forms Of speech probably he will pro.
ceed TO inquire In voice that breaks at unex-
pected intervals just what the lesser palaces
are charging for dishes in which cream prod
ucts figure.
he VIII be informed that war prices are still
prevailing, except In certain remote and un-
Srequented places, and that 20 cents for an ice
cream soda or sundae, with two cents war tax
attached, is demanded with no more OF blush
than mantled the features of Henry Morgan,
the buccaneer, when he ordered the looting Of
Panama. Sometimes persons emerge from
lesser known sections of New York and tell
xbout getting ice cream sodas for Is cents, plus
war tax. Some have even been known to
talk about getting such dishes for 10 cents and
war tax, but investigation has shown that
those purchases belonged in thu five-cent' class
before the wax put bookkeeping on such
heroic plane.
The designs OF soda glasses In recent years
have all tended 30 aid The proprietor Of the
soda dispensary ia his struggle FOR living.
The designers Of such glasses seem to have
most kindly feeling for the proprietors of the
soda and Ice cream places. Each new form of
soda glass that Is turned cut is more artistic
than those which preceded it---but Il holds less.
Tbs oldtime soda glass was not artistic, but 1t
held enough soda and ice cream to satisfy or
dinary human needs. Such glasses have been
suceeedea by works of art which are shaped
Ike the morning glory, with trumpet~like
flare at the tops but sudden dwindling toward
the middle a glass Of such design holds only
fraction Of Che content which could be ab-
sorhed by the eldtme coda glass. Also, the
broad top, wherein the only generous lines ap-
New-York tribune., 1921-05-15

wanted pressing, by the way.) One woman
must have had centipede blood in her family.
She began by depositing hsr wraps ON the end
OF the keyboard (ff centipedss have wraps
that's vhat tl,nv do with thannl h,t l1,rkf1,r
New-York tribune., 1921-05-15

whose simple reasoning powers told then, that
as long as their feet were out Of sight to them
~ dadnT much matter wfssre they rested. But
ohs the difference 10 me, and especially to my
rtght shoulder. Their trousers inrn rinhIr
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-10-21
LETTERS TO THE EDITOR
pr.ndon without oppo.ltion

DNAhoOn ORRO1LhOM To the Editor of The Age-Herald:
 I heartily agree with you in your editorial relative to Judge Brandon's coming election, and verily believe that am voicing the sentiment of our town and community in indorsing your editorial. think him entitled to it from every standpoint.
 First, he has the ability, with 9 long and peculiarly profitable expe- rience that thoroughly fits him for leadership safe and sound. one who would dare to do right under all conditions and circumstances without fear or favor.
 With a great big philanthropic heart, composed neither of graft nor greed.
 The man who is too busy doing good to stand on the street corner waiting for some greater work to do, and this is rare In this day of indifference, and every man more or less for himself.
 In conclusion let us continue to herald his name and give 1t to him without a dissenting voice. He is entitled to It by deserved promotion, by the rule of common justice.
 We are tired of politics, and this would give us some rest and a feather in our cap. to say that Ala bama has lead all the rest. has done that which has never been done be- fore. c. c. BAILET'
 Faunsdale, October 1s, 1921.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-10-21
Inyitntlon to Visitors

We would like to have visitors to the semi-centennial next week make their headquarters at the Birming- ham Automobile club at the Tutwilsr so we can extend the courtesies of the club to the stranger within our gates" said Charles c. Davis, presi- dent of the organization.
 We will in this way be able to di- rect tours over the city by automo- bile; VIC can provide visitors with routes and ideas about getting over the city so that, they can see all the points of interest in the business and residential sections.
 "The semi centennial will be the biggest thing that Birmingham has ever had and every visitor to the Magic City should See Just as much of our great district during the next week as it is nassible and the Auto- mobile club stands ready and waiting to cooperate with the semi-centen- nlal management to contribute its share towards extending the cour- tesies of the city to our guests"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-10-21

from their pledges, and it was de- cided to carry the case to the peo- pie.
 The dissolution of the "bloc" was belated. It had dissolved itself in voting for the roads amendment. Formal pronouncement of it's demise was not necessary.
 Taking the case to the people is right and proper. That is what should always be done. Thomas E. Kilby was elected governor on q platform that promised tax readjust- ment and business in state affairs. It was fully expected that machinery to equalize the tax burden would be created. It is but fair that this ma chinery should have the entire period of the Kilby administration to show whether it is right or wrong.
 The appeal to the people should be made on the record of the Kilby tax adjustment machinery in the next state election. If they then decide to return to the archaic method of self-assessment and send legislators to Montgomery instruct ed to that end, then the "bloc" will be in order, but it will be a majority "bloc" and not a minority seeking to control a majority by standing in the way of legislation demanded by the whole people.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-10-21
Choice of Education
 Or Battleships

N07 7ITH battleships costing $45,- wv 100000 and other sea .arma- ment in proportion, the need of roads, adequate pay for teachers and the other things of peace, looms up in a contrast that is almost pitia- ble. President Harding, speaking to the alumni of William and Mary college, said:
 q wish it were possible to drive home to the whole American people the conviction of needed concern fof our educational necessities. We must have more and better teachers, and to get them the profession must be compensated as it deserves"
 But the compensation of teach CTS, road building, farm aid and a host. of other problems facing the country cannot secure either the at iantion or the funds required for their solution so long as wars and preparation for wers consumes the greater part of the resources of the people.
 The masses of the world want the disarmament conference to cut down the allowance for war and to in- crease the allowance for peace. Ma tions want teachers and well-kept farms, they want roads and schools. If their spokesmen give them what they want the teachers will receive larger salaries and there will not be so many battleships.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-10-21
nITKEs AND THRONES

From the Philadelphia Public Ledger
 sixteen dead Dukes of Hamilton are being removed at the same time rom their mausoleum beneath Hamilton palaee. The first duke had stipulated that the bodies of himself and all or his successors to the title should lie there till Judgment day, when all the dukes in what remained to them of their regalia were To march together in an impressive phalanx to thrones reserved for them on high The founder of the line seems to have been very sure of his destination and that of his descendant peers.
 Dukes and thrones are not what they used to be. Even to some Amer ican heiresses and their fathers. it is coming to appear that kind hearts tare more than coronets;' and an in yestment even in q duke of ancient lineage is no guarantee of lasting matrimonial felicity. Sturdy youths, not afraid or ashamed to earn . liN- ing. whose definition of gentility is not the synonym of idleness. now have their innings. Their title to re- spect is based on honest work. Even the spectable of 16 dukes marching together to their seats in glory Is not so impressive now as 1t might have been in other days.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-10-21
Likes Germany Most

q liked Germany and th2<fnanner of the Germans better than anything else I saw in Europe" said Pau Penny, who, with his father, J. F Penny, has returned from an exten- sive continental trip.
 q liked the way the Germans are doing and their apparent mental at titude better even than that of the English, because the Germans are up and at it and forging ahead as though there never had been war.
 ''The Germans are too busy to be droopy. They are too busy to stand around and talk about the late war. They are too busy to be depressed. If the German masses are depressed I saw no evidences of if. They seemed In better spirits than~French, English or Belgian.
 You have to hand 1t to the Ger mans for making 8 supreme effort to recover"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-10-21
FALL MIGRATIoN OF nIRps

The annual flight of wild game birds southward from their breeding grounds is on and Is ahead this year of the usual time such flights start, according to the biological survey, United States department of Agricul- ture. Many more thousands of birds gre now on the wing, the depart ment states. than have flown south for years
 All indications are that the flight will not only furnish hunters excel- lent sport, but that there will have to be little waiting after the open season starts No reason is assigned by the department for the earliness of the southern flight. Only the birds know.
 The Pintail and the Teal already are on the wing, The Mallard, the Canvasback, the Redhead, the Wld- geon. the, Black Head and other later emigrants soon will be on their way to warmer climes. Reports from all most every section tell of the great size of the flights already under way.
 From the sandhills of Nebraska come reports of larger numbers Of ducks than seen for years, Little Goose lake. in South Dakota, Nls- tied recently by representative or the biological survey, was reported to be literally alive with ducks From almost every section of Iowa ducks are reported to be plentiful In the Green Bay section or Nlsco"- sin there are said to be more aueAs than ever before. Many more black ducks are reported in Maine thsn were seen last season. Along the New Jersey coast there also has been a big increase.