The Bottineau courant. (Bottineau, Bottineau County, N.D.) 1895-1929, 1921-09-22

sold 1t said it was as good as new,
and 1t broke his heart to part with
1t, but he had to 60 to Florida for his
health and needed the money. Most
of the great bargains are offered by
people who have to 60 somewhere, for
their health, and they're wise in doing
that, for If they stayed around the
neighborhood where they sold the
Junk, they'd have their heads punched.
"Doolittle was so proud and happy
over his bargain that it would have
made you feel ten years younger just
to look at him. He hitched up his
family steed, which is named JAN
uary, and then invited Aunt Julia and
Mrs. Spry to take a buggy ride. he
and his wife sat in the front seat, and
the invited guests took the rear Gee,
and all went as merry as a divorce
bell for about a block.
"Then one of the hind wheels came
of, and the surrey keeled over and
dumped my aunt and Mrs. Spry onto
a pile of gravel that had been left on
the street by a cement contractor. He
had put a red lantern on top of the
pile as q danger signal to motorists.
I think the fall must have unsettled
Aunt Julia's faculties for the time be-
ing, for she grabbed up the lantern
and broke it over Mrs. Spry's head.
Mrs. Spry has her faults and failings
like other people, but she is dead
game, and the way she went for Aunt
Julia was the prettiest thing I ever
saw. I was sitting or u front porch
where / could e the doings, and I
don't know when I ever enjoyed my
self SO much.
Unless you have een a couple Of
refined and cultured ladies clawing
each other around on a pile of gravel,
you don't know what true sport is.
Mrs. Spry showed some fine ring gen.
eralship, but my aunt had the best
wind and she finally won out and came
home victorious. And thus through
camp and court she bore the trophies
of a conQueror,' Is the. poet says, but
there was no pleasure in living in the
same house with her for a week or
two. AS soon as she cooled down she
was sorry and ashamed, and would
have given a million dollars If the
row had started.
'WOmen are so blamed queer I've
given up trying to understand them
When I get the best of a shindy I feel
all swelled up for quite a while.
don't have any remorse unless l get
the worst of it, and that doesn't often
happen, for / am a pretty handy man,
When / put q cupola on Tensmith's
head last February I was so chesty
for a month that everybody noticed it
and thought I must have been appoint
ed postmaster.
well, after the women fell out Of
the rear seat Of the surrey, old Jan
nary ran away, and 1t was amusing tt
zee that rig go humping along the
street on three wheels, with Doolittle
hanging onto the dashboard and his
wife waving her umbrella and yelling
Fire!' January couldn't 60 very fast
being covered with ringbones an(
spavins and other blemishes, but HI
managed to knock several people dow
and do a lot Of damage to property
and the old a had to pay out nearl!
300 to avoid some damage suits.
ssThe one thing that keeps him from
despair is q rumor that the man VIII
sold him the surrey is coming bacl
here to live. Doolittle will be at tn
depot to meet him, and it will b.
worth IS to have a ringside seat whel
the meeting occurs"