New-York tribune., 1921-12-22
The Amateur Paragrapher

blOtters.
The Amateur Paragrapher
Sir: Some one did good job with
the scattered bones of Abdullah Bulbul
Amecr. Who will finish this for me?
Listen while l tell to you
The tale of maiden fond and true.
Her name was lmogen Donohue,
And she lived on Silver Street
Ta-ra-rum.
She was engaged to be married and
had given her kand
To the very fine leader of the big brass
band
(fouy beats to the line-step lively)
=. AND
He lived on Baxter Street.
CHORUS:
Oh, all the day the band would play
The latest music of the day
And Cupid's darts caused many hearts
To flutter as they passed.
The leader glancng left and right,
The captain flirting with the girls in
sight,
The big bass drum went bum bum bum
For the leader of the military band.
Ooooooh (tiN ready
Imogens father near and far
Was known as the driver of the bob
tail car
/ am stuck. What sedate subway
passenger in his splendid idle forties
can recall this historic figure? No, we
didn't sing only sob songs in those dear
dead evenings in the '90s. When the
moon had sunk behind the pines and
the guitar was getting maudlin and it
was time to stir up those two in the
end hammock, what better than
crashing banjo and this?:
"Blige a lady, 'blige a lady,
'Blige lady, sir!"
Said sly old chap "She can have my
lap,
But won't get up for her."
Then fat little man, in fat little
voice,
In the opposite corner cried,
IF she can't get along with a full
sized lap
Let the lady ride outside"
Speaking Of ratios and "Davy and
the Goblin, as you respectively, and
but lately, have done, sir,-I have just
reread "Davy" and "Alice" and affirm
that Davy can concede Alice about six
bisques. This affirmation brings hearty
assent from Old Brian Hooker. Are
we both wrong? "Sure he can" ouoth
Brian, in his charming moyen-age Eng
lish, "oft have 1 myself proclaimed it
aforetime." Now, conceding that the
British did it first, doesn't the ratio
remain about 1O---1O?
In Christmas week the crowded hour
Is all too short to build a Tower:
And it would ce quite nice, | wis,
10 get big long spiel like this.
FREDDY STEELE.
In Jamaica is the French Dress Shop
of Mrs Israel, and, though, if Won are
unacquainted with her, you may not
know her, she--take it from her adj
vertisement-"is known to all familiar
with her"
AS lar az we are concerned, the cold
wave may be impermancnt as it likes.
UP to the moment of sneezing to
press, the best of the Christmas cards
has come from Baron and Baroness
Ireland. Thus:
SPEAKING OF CHRISTMAS
Christmas comes but once a year;
Yearly, too, that information
Has assailed the public ear
Since Creation.
Well, but what Of that? ask we.
So do May 9th, June 11th,
April 21st and De-
Cember 7th.
Still, no matter. We dismiss
Flows Of soul and feasts of reason
And remit the comps of this
Christmas Season.
MAY AND NATE SALISBURY.
Il can honestly look into a mirror"
writes Houdini, in The Billboard. "and.
unilke Parnassus, not fall in love with
myself" Wasn't it Olympus who was
changed into bull after stealing the
golden fleece Of the Hesperides?
Probably the morning envisagrd by
Mr.. Wells. when the papers will CON
tan no stories of greed, bestiality,
war, and crime, won't worry the
Heafstian journalists after all. For
probably they will print, the way so
many rural papers do under titles
Twenty Years Ago. Thirty Years
Ago." full details Of the Rosenthal
murder, the Thaw case, and the Ar
buckle testimony.
You can't keep journalist OF that
class down; though, for that matter.
trying to do so were attempting to
blanco the lily. r. p. A.