South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-07-15
If You Hankef' to
Play Golf Listen
to Practical Dope
Popular Game May Be Learn,
ed Without Going Near
a Golf Course.
By JAMES J. MONTAGUE.


body. builds character and morals
and makes IL devotees men among
men. or women among women. as
the case may be.
In this respect il differs from
dancing. which converts It's followers
into men among women. or women
among men. also as the case may be.
The latter condition leads to mar
riage, which in modern times leads
90 divorce trials. and Is therefore not
90 be encouraged.
Many people regard golf as pro-
hibitory because OF the expense in
time and money, but this view is
based on insufficient knowledge Of
the game.
Anybody may grasp the essentials
OF golf without so much as taking a
club In his hand or addressing a ball
or caddy
I'm fact. in the beginning IL is bet
ter 20 do your goifng as far away
FROM a golf course as possible, and
without either clubs or caddies.
Both OF these aecompaniments OF
the game tend TO confuse the mind
and divert IL from the business at
hand, which is the cultivation OF self
control
This any honest golfer will tell
you.
Here's First Lesson.
When you take up golf, FIRST go 20
lumber yard and purchase several
bundles of lath, which can be had
even now at very reasonable price,
: az compared 20 golf clubs.
Take these laths 10 your bedroom,
and for an hour after arising break
from one To ter OF them over your
knee, throw the fragments on the
floor and stamp on them.
Hurl five or six others cut of a
window. or down an air shaft
This will be the beginning of your
T lesson i'm self-control You will hnd
as time progresses that you will
break fewer and fewer Of the laths
land throw a smaller number Of them
I out OF the window.
Now, if YOU did this with clubs,
as you would do. il you were foolish
I enough to begin your golf i'm the old
fashioned way. il would entail a very
I considerable expense.
! Golf clubs cost from FIVE dollars up
if YOU pick out the ones you want,
which YOU never do.
IT you pick out the ones the golf
goods statesmen or the club profess
slonal tells you 10 pick out which
you always do, they will cost cousid-
cradle money.
Some golfers invest several hun
dred dollars i'm golf clubs alone,
merely for the purpose NJ breaking
them. which doesn't pay, and Injuries
the credit OF the nation, as all de-
struction OF property is hound to do.
Training I'm Excuses
After you have acquitted enough
| self-control so that you can get
along with breaking only two or
|tthree laths a day. pick out the most
/ impudent and selt-superlor office boy
iof your acquaintance and apologize
TOR everything you do in his pres
ence.
If YOU sharpen lead pencil badly,
tell the boy that you sliced It, and
/ that YOU will not repeat that error
|again if YOU know yourself
Ii YOU happen 10 pat on the wrong
rubber. tell him that you were in too
much of "a hurry, and that YOU will
! remember 10 consult him before
choosing your rubber again.
You would do much the same
thing if YOU began golf i'm the old
time style and took caddy with you
cut ON the course.
, The caddy would cost YOU So cents
IAN hour or more if he was able 70
overawe you. as he would be, and ne
would be little more adept at receiv-
ing your continued apologies thar
would the ordinary office boy
When the boy has reached the
proper pitch OF disdain, which a boy
can easily do. begin to give him
small objects TO lose about the office
and join him i'm the search for them
Always respect his judgment as "a
their whereabouts although YOU
may feel certain that they have been
lost i'm a different place from the one
in which he is looking.
IL ne should by chance find any OF
I them, tell him he has a wonderful
| eye, and that he is really "a remarka-
/ bile boy,
Strong Language Helps.
/ 10 is not at all necessary to use
s,rong language in taking up golf
Ialthough some golfers hold that it
helps
You can. however. use strong Ian