Idaho County free press. [volume] (Grangeville, Idaho Territory) 1886-current, 1921-12-08
LATEST IN THRIFT
BY ADDIE GRAVES.

old Jim's third wife was dead. AL
.nree had been cross-eyed. Two O.
tnehl-the first two-had been sisters
IL seemed as though Jim was obsesse,
over crossed eyes. A wife withou
crossed eyes would not seem a Lawful
wlIe' Crossed eyes had not crossed
MS business luck, at any rate, for Old
Jim was worth at least 100000.
And he could not write his name or
measure load of the lumber which
hau brought him his fortune.
But he had a way of managing
tnings SO the profit balance came out
win large per cent. He was very
thritty-so thrifty that when he had
the third casSet to buy he sought some
way to economic.
In his estimation. funeral expenses
were wasted expenditure. 81
lie Immediately sought the under
taker. This learned gentleman was
unooxing the casket of the third cross
eyed wife. Old Jim approached him
with no squeamishness.
Say, John, how much are the ham
uies on the casket valued at?"
John dropped the claw hammer on
MS big toe and said things not sup-
posed to be said in the presence of
caskets. Then:
Il dunno; they alters come on-the
same sort on the same sort of caskets:
never he'd any special orders"
Old Jim viewed the handles as
though with begrudging envy. "Well,
John, it's awful foolish to bury them
handles. Casket handles should be de-
tachable-should be kept with the
stands for holding the casket during
the service. You just take them off
and return them-atter the folks has
left the cemetery-befOre you fill the
grave. Send them back and get them
discounted from the BILL"
John carefully Strengthened some
nails he had drawn from the casket
box before he replied:
"All right, jim; maybe 1t will save
enough to pay the minister next time"
Jim lit his pipe, drew In Whit of
smoke, exuding 1t from his nostrils,
threw the match out the window and
departed in seeming Observation-Disclosures.
John slammed the door with: 1.-THE
d-d-d-d i on't-know-what !" The |
next winter the undertaken died with |
Influenza. His wife had an auction
and Old Jim Fuller bought a large
box of small assorted hardware.
Among the articles were the casket
handles, which he had now paid for
twice-both times unknowingly. The
village doctor spied the handles and
offered Old Jim a dollar for them.
A short time after this, Old Jim
brought home wife No. 4. Strange il
was, her eyes were straight-straight
from clear brain. She proceeded to
make the mOney-and other things.
including Old Jim-hy. First, she
Fought load of nice, expensive wall
,aper and paint and sent for the viii
age decorator. He came without his
board, for he knew Old Jim
lad brought a fine board home from
he mill for the crOss-eyed wives to do
he papering in by-gone days. He
new it was I'm the attic The new /
IRIS. Fuller accompanied the decora-
or to the garnet in search of the !
GARD. The man pointed to a long
ow Of old hats and bonnets hanging /
n some nails under the caves.
"You see them bunnets? Yours will :
e hanging on that next empty nail !
ONE day, keeping them company"
The straight-eyed wife's eyes almost
urned the "bunnets" with lightning
ashes. She grabbed them all-her !
yo arms full, some hanging by with
red strings, and flung them nom the h
indow, when they slowly fioated to- s
ard the mill-dam. {
"Not by a dam-site !" she said, with I
grim grin. "Jim's hat will hang q
~ s
In moment they had discovered s
e papering board. The paperhanger :
his free informing: "This L
)ard has held all the bodies of Jim's n
ives. They were all laid out on it. s
will hold you some day. Then 1t z
flowed the "bunnets." Y
In a box near the board were some q
ste brushes and pair of casket 1i
indies. The straight black eyes s.
Ilged. y
"What-what are thoseT Y
The paperhanger pretended not to NJ
ar. A female hurricane swept to- 81
ird him. 2
'If you must know, they are the =
ndles of the last wife's casket- u
we'd to put on yours" The handles nj
! not follow the "bunnets" and the 3
n-@ laroh as when the lightning T