The Connecticut labor news., 1921-09-23
KEEP A MONKEY
 TO BE HAPPY IS
 ADVICE TO BRIDES
If You Can Keep Pet Satisfied With Food so Will Husband
 Be
What IS this we hear now ?

What Is this we hear now? Husbands Wives! If you want domestic peace, keep monkey!" "Brides-to-be! If you are worried as to how your man will take to your cooking, try 1t out first on the monkey l if the monkey survives, hubby will sur vive!"
 If you can keep the monkey con- tented you can keep hubby home nights y Well well, well
 The same, they say is true of the guinea pig and the rat. "A husband is like a rat" says Miss Mary Sweeney, dean of the woman's division of the Michigan Agricultural College, because both thrive on identi- caly the same diet If you can cook for a rat and keep its eyes bright, it's fur smooth and general condition good you can do the same thing for husband" The Michigan girls are taking this ad- vice quite seriously, and part of the course in the economics department re- quires each girl to cook for a rat for a specified length of time. When it is proved by this experiment that her cook ing pleases the rodent she Is allowed to practice other forms of cooking which tempt a mans appetite.
 The marriage rate, by the way, in this Michigan home economics school IS 100 per cent inside of three years from grad uation, and the divorce rate is only one in 125!
 But Michigan has nothing on Mas Sachusetts along these lines.
 :o-1,+ +1o human diet on monkeys, rats and guinea pigs are being scientifically carried out and the results are eagerly awaited by men and women all over the country.
 Dr. Percy K. Howe, in charge of the research department of the Forsyth Den tai Inhrmary, has six Maccacus mon tory. and every day those monkeys are fed the same sort of food that you get for your husband right here in the city. No more cocoanuts for these recent deni- zens of the Java jungles-they have come they are already going at their meals with the characteristic enthusias of our average American husband.
 Dr. Howe's main purpose in feeding these monkeys is to show how food af-
 
 by the way, are just like ours in mini ature, and they are liable to the same tooth troubles that frequently drive us human beings to the dentists chair of torture.
 Dr.. Howe figures that the basis of the monkeys happiness is not only to feed him what he likes, but to feed him the kind of food that keeps his teeth from decaying. It is decayed teeth, he be- 1ieves, that makes a monkey thin and sick and rheumatic, and unhappy. and the same thing must be true of the man. Incidentally, then, you must study your husbands teeth If you would keep him happy and healthy.
 It is the lack of certain food elements that make the teeth decay" said Dr. Howe to me. Decay comes from the inside, not the outside, Eating sugar has nothing to do with it. The contact of sugar with the teeth IS not injurious at all. Of course over eating of sweet stuff upsets the stomach, but that is another story. The system need moderate amount of sugar. and 1t can not injure the teeth
 Keeping monkey will give you same interesting dope" on just the right things to keep hubby health. contented and sound toothed. For instance, it is natural for monkeyq to eat raw food so it should be with man. Cooking the food," says Dr. Howe. kills the very elements you need to build sound teeth and bodies, 1t kills the anti-scorbutic. or antl-scurvy elements. If you serve meat, 1t should be rare meat, which still con- tains the necessary citamines.
 A monkey will thrive on three differ ent kinds of diet, though it is better still to serve balanced diet of all three kinds. They are: an all meat diet dairy products diet and a green-stuff diet. You can live on nothing but meat if you eat the fat with 1t and the liver. kidneys, pancreas, etc. You can't live on just muscle meat without the fat.
 "As for the dairy products diet, you have perfect balance in eating cheese, butter, milk, etc, though 1t is better to add some of the green vegetables and fruits. too. Nuts also are very whole some"
 By the way, if you are going to let monkey be your family goat" why not carry your experiments step farther and try out the family hooch on him, and hubby's favorite brand of cigarettes or cigars?
 You may be surprised at the results, but let me tell you this. so as to break 1t 'easy," if you think these experi ments will bear out the prohibition theory, you have to admit defeat Dr. Howe has word to say on this very subject ''I don't think alcoholic drinks or to- bacco harm the system if taken in mod crate quantities. Tobacco is an antiseptic and cannot hurt the teeth"