New-York tribune., 1921-12-11

~ GENE, the hall of the Arms Conference,
Washington. The hour is late and the
tables are deserted save for one delegate
who apparently has returned for some
.,.rsoranda. The lights are dim and the silence
seams heavy.
THE VOICE OF A SENTRY-Halt!
vha---s <ADclogeticallyl Aw. I guess I
ns,sta bin seein' things.
THE DELEGATE Enormously aud irrita-
hJv)-Humph CThen as he senses presence
i the room) Hello. Who's tnaty
4 gigantic apparit;on looms suddenly against
.he wall, towering the height of the room. It's
figure is transparent, somewhat nebulous in
outline and wreathed in ar aura of that green
sh light in use on the stage to indicate
sunernatural being. To one accustomed to the
marnifed close-ups of the movie screen the
Ss,,re is not alarming; besides, the delegates
have been prepared for shocks by Mr.. Hughes,
THE DELEGATION, beg pardon. Didn't
recognize you at first. "a second and closer
Glance at the figure distinguishes through the
balf light shock of matted hair and whiskers
and an expression not of the stamp generally
aecepted as statesmanike or intellectual; also
the clothing of the figure is odd. seeming to be
eNpSllSiNe set ol 4QiSi. NY error again.
Who are you, anyway? You'll pardon me
when I say you look monstrously like pre-
historic man, the much represented cave man.
THE PREHISTORIC MANI never set
up to look like anything else
THE DELEGATE (attempts to call the
sentry to order an ambulance, but finds him.
self strangely powerless)
THE PREHISTORIC MAN-Never mind
I'm really what claim to be, but tonight |
ran on up here in post-hstoric and post
mortem capacity. / simply had to let you fell
lows know you're going about this war busi-
ness all wrong / suppose I'm little late
for the days session, but followed directions
in Mr.. H. G. Wells Outline of History" and
got off the track bit. However I'm in luck
to find you here, and I'm content to deliver
my message through you. You can get up
tomorrow and make my speech, and I'll leave
it to the galleries if you don't knock Mr.
Hughes's little talk about navies for row
of duck-bied dinosaurs.
THE DELEGATE-My good man. I can't
Say
THE PREHISTORIC MAN-Oh, yes. YOU
can. And now professionally I'd like to have
your undivided attention. (Places large.
knotly cluD on the CdOle.
THE DELEGATE-very w-w-w-weu If
you i-i-i-insist-
THE PREHISTORIC MANI do. Well.
to begin with you folks nowadays have made
horrid mess of war-war which used to be
good, clean sport in my day. You certainly
have botched it for fair. You overdid the
thing for almost four years-a month or less
is plenty for good scrap-and now, ask
YOU are bygones bygones? No, they are not.
There's whole lot of wreckage which isn't
cleared up even yet, and whole lot that can't
be. Starvation, misery and injuries persist
Dlstrust and ennity are smoldering Finan-
ela systems and living costs are--if you will
permit me an anachronisnl-a jazzed up
And that, I have an idea, is the real reason
pose the roison d'strs of your conference, if
may borrow phrase from one of your Off
cial languages here-the results of YOUR kind
of war. Thank heaven, I never lived to see
the day, but died happy in an honest-to- good
ness fight.
THE DELEGATE-Then you arc deade
THE PREHISTORIC MAN-MaterialIv.
yes. But this is very live issue. and might
remark at this point (glanc1ng Significantly
at bis club) that I don't take very kindly to
oelng heckled. To resume, / was about to re-
mark that war went to the dogs not very long
after my day-hence the phrase, dogs of war.
AND I'm here to state that it is these blamed
scientists who took all the ioy out of cood