davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1921-07-08
MIGHT HAVE MADE TROUBLE
Junior Evidently Was Uneasy as to
the Possible Conduct of Mosquito
In Heaven.

Junior espied mosquito on the
window Not wishing to be bitten,
he had his father kill it, About a
half hour later Junior came to his
father and asked:
Daddy, will that 'squito go to
Heaven?'
ut might" his father said, 'if it
was a good one
Junior, satisfied with this answer,
went off to play. In few minutes he
was back again saying:
do you think he's in heaven yet
daddy?"
he might be" replied his father
"if he was a real good one"
After a few more minutes Of play
Junior again came to his father with
these words:
Daddy, I wonder if he's bited Goo
yet."-Chicago American.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1921-07-08
C60
AMERICAN
@L.E:GON@!
MEDALS FOR GOLD STAR
MOTHERS''

The War Department is making a
special effort to distribute VICTORY
MEDALS to all Gold Star Mothers or
the nearest relative of every soldier
who died in the service.
Lieutenant Colonel Young, who is
in charge of the Pennsylvania Dis
trict, promises every mother or the
nearest relative Medal, if they will
communicate with the
Victory Medal Office, U. s. Army,
Post Office Bldg, Scranton, Pa.
without delay.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1921-07-08
THOMPSON MEMORIAL CHURCH
Rev. w. w. Harris, Pastor

Sunday School at 10 A M.
Morning worship at II o'clock.
Sunday School at Wood Hill Chapel,
2.20 P. NJ
c. E. at 7.30 P M.
Evening worship at o'clock.
Cottage prayer meeting on Friday
evening at s o'clock.
A welcome to all services.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1921-07-08
NEW HOPE NJ. f. CHURCH
REV. W. H. Aspril, Pastor

1000 A. NJ, Sunday School.
HOO A. NJ, worship and sermon.
$50 p. M. Epworth League.
700 P. NJ Evening worship.
Subjects of Sermons for next Sun
day
Morning: "Shall the Sabbath be a
Holy Day or Holiday?"
Evening: How Paradise is Lost"
Prayer meeting Thursday evening
A glad hand and welcome to all.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1921-07-08
STOCKTON METHODIST CHURCH

Evening service 7.45. A short song
service will proceed. The pastors
theme will be "The Sinlessness of
Christ" All who have no other wor-
ship are cordially invited to attend.
Church school at 3.15 in the after
noon.
During the month of July the union
prayer meeting will be held in this
Church Wednesday evening at 7.45.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1921-07-08

Members of the St. Charles, Miss
our, post of the American Legion
held hammer and saw" meeting
at which a portable dance floor was
erected in four hours. Members of the
local labor unions donated their SER
vices in assisting the Legion in the
construction of the floor.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1921-07-08
Churches
NEW HOPE PRESBYTERIAN
Rev. Harry Boehme, Minister.

10. a. m. Sunday School.
IL. a. m. Morning Service.
All Services Standard Time.
Everybody welcome!
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1921-07-08

An inheritance of $4,000 made
scarcely a ripple in the life of Joe
Bokau, member of the Kern post of
the, American Legion at Toledo Bokau
is a policeman. When notified of his
good fortune he was asked if he in
tended quitting the police force.
Il can do a greater service as a
policeman than in any other way,
and, after all, what pleasure is
greater than that of doing some
thing worth while" he said
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1921-07-08

Hours of Service-Mass on Sunday
at s and 10 o'clock. Holy days at 5
and o'clock.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1921-07-08
FIRST BAPTIST CHURCH
Rev. Harold NJ. Dorrell, Minister

Regular services will be held Sum-
day at the usual hours. Bible School
with interesting session opens at 9.45
o'clock. At the morning service the
pastor will deliver brief sermon on
the subject Christ, Greed and Con-
science" and will administer the
Lords Supper which was postponed
from last Sunday. At the evening
hour, 7.45 o'clock a CHEEKY summer
evening service with pointed sermon
by the pastor, will be held. Prayer
meeting will be held Tuesday even
ing.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1921-07-08

The American Legion's bonus leg
islation for service men of Oregon
was sustained by a three to one vote
in a recent referendum. 1t provides
for the payment of $15 for each
month of service.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1921-07-08

ST. MARTINS r. C. CHURCH
Rev. Henry S. S. Hasson, Pastor
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1921-07-08
SMlLIN THRU
z
BY GEE SEE


YOU CAN'T KEEP 1T UP"
Go chase yourself, you lazy slob
What do you know of toll?
You with your rolled-up, flabby
paunch,
And greasy jowls like chunks of
soil,
Go chase yourself, you slob
What right gives you the cause to
hint
l cannot do my daily stint
You who but wheeze and loaf and
whine
Like some poor sordid, mewling
swine!
While each morning greet the sun
And fill its hours with tasks well
done,
Until the morning hours creep
Before | turn again to sleep.
Go chase yourself, you slob!
##***#
Our idea of a dumbbell is the flabby
ragweed who flops about in indolent
self Importance and wheezes Ut
CAN'T BE DONEw
*****4
A lantern jawed, scraw-bony, ferret
eyed mountaineer in Ga. said, when
they proposed running railroad train
over the mountain, "Theyll never
start hit, they'll never start hit"
****&#
And when the first locomotive
roared over the top, his Adams apple
slid up and down like an eel in
cranes gullet, and he snorted
They'll never stop hit, they'll never
stop hit"
Doc. Einsteiny -meiny-moe has fin
ally admitted that he doesn't know
it all
*#&**&
Too bad! Another object of hero
worship gone flooie!
Don't be chagrined at the new
movie censorship law!
*#*&+*
After the 18th. Bedamnedment any
thing is likely to happen
#**&##
The next thing will be a prohibit
ton against double beds!
******
Some people are like warts on a
frogs belly!
Low down, whitish yellow, and
dragging on the ground!
*&#*&*
Where are you going, my pretty
maid?
I'm going to church just now she
said.
Il beg your pardon, pretty maid,
But judging by the clothes you
wear,
thought you went to battle in
stead"
*#****
D4SPETIA CURE
Whad'ya mean "The worlds all
wrong?'
You limpin' limb O sin!
Your liver's on the blink, that's all
You need a shot o GIN
Whad'ya mean "Tha amt no use? ?"
You crawlin' crab O. gloom
Your brain is clogged with dust, you
boob
Just sneeze, an give it room!
&*#***
Our idea of a dumbbell is the fried
egg who tells us our own stories, and
swears like a trooper that they act
ually happened to him.
##*@**
"HOOCH MELONS TO DEFY
| VOLSTEAD" says a news heading
#*&*&&
Now watch the back to the farm
movement begin,
#A&#&4
While daintily partaking of our
stewed prunes this morning, one of
those little Kuser boys floated majes-
ically past in his new Easter egg
5 colored Mercer.
4####4
Gawd! Amt hell to be rich?
%**%#%
Among the eatables and drnkables
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1921-07-08

Billy considered himself far too
manly to demean himself by playing
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1921-07-08

Members of the American Legion in
Louisiana, Mississippi and Florida
have been notified that their efforts
to exclude colony of Men
nonites from those states have been
successful. The Mennonites are going
to Mexico. Members of the Legion OPP
posed the settlement of the Mennon-
ties because they evaded military ser
vice on religious grounds.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1921-07-08

Recently a story about the Platts-
burg Camp went out of the Recruit
ing Office at Governors Island, which
among other things said, g This
sleepy little upstate town. =" and
other things which were intended to
show affection for the town, and not
ridicule. However, the people of the
city, as it really is, through the Sec
rotary of the Chamber of Commerce,
has taken exception to the words as
applying to the. town, and has asked
that the whole of the corps area,
which comprises the States of New
York. New Jersey and Delaware, that
tn city is alive, appreciates the camp
and that it is really on the job.
The story was written by more or
less well-known magazine writer,
graduate of the Plattsburg camps of
1915 and 1916, who has a great love
for the city and the camps. He intend
ed no slur upon the city, nor did he
desire other than to call attention to
the fact that the upstate city would
have, once again, citizens training
camp, and that the people of the city
were making all preparations for the
comings camps.
1t is requested that this notice be
given the same publicity as was given
the original story.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1921-07-08

Five hundred and fifty-six trees
We're planted recently along the new
victory memorial drive at Minneap-
oils, Mimi, by American Legion posts
of that city. One of the trees is
dedicated to the memory of f. W.
Galbraith Jr., late commander of
the American Legion, whose acciden-
tai death prevented him from attend
ing the tree-planting ceremonies. The
other trees are for the 555 gold star
heroes of Hennepin County.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1921-07-08

The Hurley Lee Spicer post of the
American Legion at Harrisonville,
Mo-, has installed an emergency call
system by which members of the post
can be called to service in case of
fire or police emergency.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1921-07-08

A movement has been started by
number of posts Of the American Le-
gion to have the body of the un-
known American soldier, to be
brought back from France, buried un-
der the dome of the National capitol
instead of in Arlington National Gem
etery. The George Washington post
has appointed a committee to form
ulate and have introduced in Congress
a resolution changing the place of
burial.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1921-07-08

"The super-slacker of the United
States" as he describes himself is be-
ing sought by federal authorities aid
ed by members of the American Le-
gion throughout the northwest He has
written to Governor Hart of Wash
ington, requesting that his name be
placed at the top of the Stacker list
He wrote that he was P. E. Saylor
of Genessee, Idaho, and although he
successfully lodged the draft by mov-
ing to another city and assuming an
other name, he has enjoyed all the
glories of a returned A. E. F. hero
through the purchase of soldiers
discharge and several war medals"
And you ought to hear me tell the
girls of all the battles l was in, he
writes.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1921-07-08

RIDGE BAPTIST CHURCH
Rev. r. Lewis Everett, Pastor.
Prayer 10 A. NJ.
Sunday School 1915 A. NJ.
Preaching II A. NJ.
c. E. Meeting 7 P. NJ.
Preaching 7.3O P. NJ.
Prayer Service Thursday evening.
STOCKTON PRESBYTERIAN
Rev. F. o. Hathaway, Pastor.
Sundayschool at 6.45 am.
Moring Worship at 1915.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1921-07-08

An American Legion home tc
cost $125,O0O will be erected this sum-
mer at The Dalles, Ore.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1921-07-08
Gawdl Amt hell to be rich?

Gawd! Amt hell to be rich?
%***@%
Among the eatableS and drinkables
in the unusual names recently pub
lished by the State Department of
Health are found those of "Saurbeer"
and "Saurwine,"
The next report containing these
names will be no doubt be that they've
been raided!
#***#&
Live each day so that you can look
every damn man in the eye and tell
him you've brought your own!
&##***
NEGROES IN WHITE ROWS
loudly lauds a Ledger line.
&**&&*
We struggle vainly with the temp
tation to spring impulsively las it
were) to our no. rs and demand.
How, oh how, do they do it,"
H#%*&%
1t isn't always indigestion that
makes rotten tempers,
HHH*#*
1t might be you've a corn that need:
trimming!
#x##%#
Despite the disparaging things that
may be said about cemeteries, you've
got to admit that the people who
occupy them are inspiringly quiet anC
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1921-07-08
eevVTS
lad IN
=. ~.-

! F. F.
| - ,NI
Enrc - |
1 - |
le lead
Flg the |
pies on
fnt Dill,
RE, and
fctuaiiy |
Farni' |
Fry 10 |
fanoing |
foSSiD'e
fii'u u |
Nv. 'ieu.
FER VI |
|uiu seI
Fe-oieu |
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|istereo |
a |
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i |
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~ u
Fup 10 |
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Icy oi |
| neii- |
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Fluhi. |
f,lo'a aees |
l, 81 ss ~ |
|
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4 anu |
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1921-07-08
MES

es on
| boxing
rrn.
anny,
The
ighed,
the
rs but
E fai
n the
1 inder-
| ed in
| Of the
ondon
letter
l.tines
AOh6
fewer
.dends
iged."
The Leavenworth echo. [volume] (Leavenworth, Wash.) 1904-current, 1921-02-18

Mrs. J. B. Roberts left Tuesday
night on No. 2 for Grand Island. Ne
braska
F. W. Stevens arrived home Tues
day from a trip to Chicago and other
points.
Born--to Mr. and Mrs !. f. Gull.
son, Feb. IS, 1921 DR.. Hoxsev was
in attendance. Mother and child do
ing nicely.
Fred Boyce of Cashmere was re-
Gently pulled by the shcrilrs force
and still, lots of mash and some
finished" product taken.
c. G. Smyth left yesterday for
Wenatchee expecting to be on the
road for month, inspecting Com
manderies throughout the state.
Mr. and Mrs. O. B. Blan entertain
ed friends at their home on West
Benton street. Nineteen guests were
present and an enjoyable evening i,
reported.
The Wenatchce World says that
North Central Washington will re-
Quire 65,000000 feet of lumber and
$50 carloads of paper to pack its 1921
fruit crop.
Bilcs and Coleman have already
started men at work at their lumber
ing camp at Omak mountain near
Omak and will get out a big cut Of
logs as early as possible 1t is said
that they have thirty or forty men
and teams at work in the woods.
a cantata, "The Resurrection of
Hope" will be given by the choir of
the Methodist church Easter Sunday
evening. Mrs. C. E. Curtis. choir
leader, will welcome all singers who
would care to take part Choir prac-
tice every Thursday evening at $50,
in the church.
F. w. Stevens, superintendent Of
the Great Northern Lumber Com
pany's business here. is in the east
on business, but it is expected that
the mill will start up about March /,
as heretofore stated in the Echo The
planning mill has been running for
several days and it is hoped that it
may run continuously from now on.
The members of the Dix club en-
teltained their husbands at a card
party Monday night of this week a.
the home of Mrs. Sam DAILY. About
nineteen were present. Mrs. Dick
DAILY captured the head prize, which
was beautiful picture, Sam DAILY
getting the consolation prize, an in
genious motto. Miss Hazel Strome
and Dick Simon were guests 4 de-
licious two-course luncheon was serv-
ed and the evening proved most en-
joyable.
The Leavenworth echo. [volume] (Leavenworth, Wash.) 1904-current, 1921-02-18
Local Happenings

FOR DRY WOOD phone 469. (7-2tpd)
See VIM. Brender for coal and
'''''' (51-tf+)
Mrs. W. p. Sketrington visited at
NJ. w. Starks last week
D. r. Shubert and Tom Pipkin were
Wenatchee visitors Wednesday.
Mrs. Hal Starks went to Wenat.
chez Monday to visit few DAYS.
o. 5. Sampson left last FRIDAY on
trip to Spokane and Occur d AIene
on business trip.
Mr.. and Mrs. j. II. Osborn enter
tanned friends at their ranch homo
last week Wednesday.
Mr.. and Mrs. f. T. Motteler arriy-
ed home Sunday from ten days
visit with their son at Seattle.
Is. II. Bryan Of the Penney store.
has been indisposed for some time.
but has been getting around pretty
well this week.
All Disciples of Christ who believe
in observing the Lords Supper on
Lords Day are requested to meet at
2:30 on Central avenue. next to Ma
sonic temple
Mrs. +. r. McClain informed us
Saturday that Mr.. McClain had his
operation on Friday and came through
it very nicely, not even being sick
from the anesthetic.
Mr. and Mrs. Leonard Paul and
Mrs. A. Paul, of Priest River. Idaho.
stopped off here last Thursday and
visited until Friday afternoon with
Rev. and Mrs. VIM. Lueckel. They
were on a trip to California.
The b & Better club held a mas
querade ball at the club house at the
mill last Friday evening. There wera
between ninety and one hundred pres
ent ana all thoroughly enjoyed the
evening. The ladies contributed
most, by providing toothsome
luncheon.
Joe Marih, Andy Velia and J.
kemps have purchased the good will
and stock of the Rainier Cafe and
took charge early this week They
are all workers and have been on the
jump putting the place in shape to
satisfactorily care for the wants of
their customers Mr.. Velia is known
as a splendid cook and is in charge
of the kitchen with the other mem
bers of the firm in charge of other
departments and all giving their
whole time to the business. See their
advertisement elsewhere in the Echo.
The Leavenworth echo. [volume] (Leavenworth, Wash.) 1904-current, 1921-02-18

Mr. and Mrs. Ernest Blankenshio
arrived home Monday from visit
with Mr.. Blankenship's brother AMI
family at Chelan.
The Leavenworth echo. [volume] (Leavenworth, Wash.) 1904-current, 1921-02-18
Echo Wants get results.

Mrs. Anna Reynold was visitor
at Wenatchee Tuesday.
a. Lindblom went to Seattle sun
day evening on business trip.
Wednesday morning was the cold
est of the winter up to that time 3
below zero.
Mr.. and Mrs. j. NJ. Amundson an !
daughter went to Seattle Wednesday
for a short visit.
w. f. Dmmitt has been having q
run of tonsoitis, keeping him at home
for several days.
DR. VIM NJ. Cox left on No. Tues
day on business trip to Portland,
expecting to return today.
Mrs. r. L. Smith. Mrs. VIM Tyrren
and Mrs. Bert Brown have been in
Wenatchee for few days
A. C. Barclay says that he is heat
ing his hotel with ammonia, but Wen
guarantee it is nothing but hot ali.
The Masonic lodge held an inter
esting session Monday evening with
work in the first and second degrees.
T. p. Harris arrived home from
Wenatchee Tuesday having complct-
ed the job he was working on down
there.
Interest on county warrants has
been raised to eight per cent, by ac-
ton of the county board in order that
those desiring to cash them may do 50
without loss.
The Eastern Stars entertained last
Friday evening at the Masonic Hall.
About eighty were present and the
evening was spent at dancing and
cards. Refreshments were served and
a very enjoyable evening is reported.
J. c. Mitchell, L. \. Sinclair and
W. G. Schannach were Wenatchec
visitors last Friday Mr.. Mitchell
was down to attend meeting at the
County Agents office, as soil leader
of the Leavenworth Farm Bureau
The Coterie club was entertained
last Saturday evening at the home Of
Mr.. and Mrs. Percival and the even
ing passed at cards, with luncheon
and the usual amenities. Mrs. G. W.
HoXsey and Dr. Burkhart were award
ed the head prizes and Miss Green
and Mr.. Waldenberg the consolation
prizes.
Pullman is planning a community
building to cost at least $4,000. It
is possible plans may be enlarged to
embrace a structure costing twice
this sum. The Pullman chamber Of
Commerce and other organizations
are cooperating and joint stock
company is to be launched at once.
The Pullman company national
guards will be housed in the prem
Uses and the state will pay a rental
which will figure in the scheme for f.
nancing the structure.
The county library bill. now before
the state legislature, is attracting the
attention and we understand is freely
endorsed by many Of the peorle of
Leavenworth. among them being tho
members of the kumtuX club This
measure is designed more especially
to furnish good reading to the peopl .
of the outlying districts where good
permanent libraries cannot be main
tanned and it is bill which ought in
normal times have very general sup
port if when enacted into law it can
be economically administered.
The commonwealth., 1921-12-19
TRADE BALANCE
STILL GROWING
(Bv u. S. Press,

Washington, Dec. 17.-Secretary Of
Commerce Hoover calls attention in
his auua1, report to the fact that
while the total foreign trade of the
nation decreased by $3,176,626, 900
during the past fiscal year, there was
slight increase in the visible bal
ance of trade in favor of the United
States az result of the year 8 opeTl
tions. Exports for the year tota1ed
$6,ss5,6a6,ose against $7,e5o,42e,1so
the year before, while imports were
1864, 449, ,43O against 1925, 1852 ia.
The balance Of trade for the year was
So ,731 ,1s6, GOO, compared with $2,711-
907 ,512 1he year before. Part Of the
shrinkage in the value of foreign.
trade is Que, the report says, ,'to low
er prices rather than to diminished
quantities and part to the general IN
settled conditions in the countries 70
whom the United States sells. ''It Is,
therefore,, increasingly important, "
it is added, .'that the services of the
bureau of foreign and domestic com
merce be developed and intensified to
meet the increased demands of Amer.
lean manufacturers who are planning
TO hold and extend their markets
abroad.'
The commonwealth., 1921-12-19
c lots ahuttinp directly nn such I'M

,hc lots abutting directly on such I'm
provement according to the extent of
their respective frontages and the as
sessments against the said lots abus-
ting on the said improvements to be
based on the total cost and improve
ment embraced within said petition.
along the streets and between the
points therein mentioned exclusive OF
so much cf the said cost as may be in
CURED at street intersections.
AND BE IT FURTHER ORDAIN-
ED, that the property owners affect
ed hereby shall have the option and
privilege of paying for their part of
said Improvement in cash, and if they
so elect give notice Of the fact In
wiring to the Town within thirty
days after notice as provided by. sec
tion ,, Chapter 56, Public Laws OF
1915, they shall have option and priv
ilege of paying said assessments IN
ten equal annual installments, the said
installments to bear interest a six per-
Gene per annum froa1 date of the con
firmation of their assessment roll, and
III case Of failure Or neglect of any
property owner to pay any Of said
lmants when due and payable,
then and in that event all of said
insta llments remaining unpaid shall at
once become due and payable and said
property shall be sold by the said
Town under the same rules, regura-
tions, rights of redemption and say.
inSS us are now prescribed Tor the
sale Of land for unpaid taxes.
The Bienville Democrat. [volume] (Arcadia, Bienville Parish, La.) 1912-1980, 1921-09-29
. W M I II, ItS.
E. H. FISHER, Sec'y.
FINANCES FOR AIDING FARMING
INTEREST ARE NOW AVAILABLE

New Orleans, Sept. 24.-Distribu.
ton OF part of the $1.OOO,0O0,OOO fund
Of the War Finance Corporation, which
has been assigned to this district for
agricultural purposes, will begin soon
in New Orleans.
Charles B. Claiborne, chairman
OF the committee from the New Orleans
district, announced the agricultural
loan agency of the corporation is pre-
pared to receive applications. All ap-
plications will 90 through the local
committee, which will give each re-
quest careful consideration and pass it
to the Washington headquarters with
recommendation.
"The financial aid on the part of the
War Finance Corporation will prove
of immense assistance to the agricul-
tural interests of the country" Mr..
Claiborne declared.
The funds will be advanced only to
large banks or producers organiza-
tons prepared to handle large sums
and pass them off in smaller divisions
to the producers or distributors.
Much Of the $1,O0O,QOO,OOO set aside
for agricultural purposes will come to
the South as conditions justify, it is
understood. EXCHANGE.