The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-11-13
BUGS AID
stBOES" TO
GET FOOD
professor" Uses In
genius RuSe to Pro
vide Meals for Hun
cry Travellers on
Long Jaunt From
Coast to Coast.

SVo0SU w SVoOSvo
had Just left for the police court.
We moves away from there quickly.
A lady living on Indiana avenue
gives US an invite to como in the
Kitchen and iii up and we did 70.
After that we seeks around for q
front. We ask them for some old
clothes at the Salvation Army Head
quarters, but they wanted to ask us
too many questions that we couldn't
answer.
THE HERO HIMSELF.
We holds q conference at Seventh
and the Avenue and decides to go
up to see Marshall Foch looking
just like we was. The Professor
seems mighty reluctant. to do 80.
but he consents when Texas threat.
ems to beat him up, II he don't come
along. Just then there was wild
cheering from the crowds and an
automobile comes dashing madly up
the avenue. There's q gentleman
wearing . bunch Of badges. on his
chest. leaning back in the car and
the crowds are waving their hands
and yelling.
WHO IL he." asks the Professor
of ono of the crowd. That's Mar.
shall Foch.' comes the answer and
the Professor turns pale. Thought
you knew your old friend when you
seen him." says Slim.
THAT ein't the same Foch
fought with in France" mutters
the Professor and only the crowd
saved his life. Slim got him by the
throat and was going to kill him
right then and there, but the bunch
interfered. Dragging the Professor
to tho corner. we demands an ex-
PLANTATION. The Professor hasn't got
one and when we get him down to
brass tacks he just comes out and
admits that he's some fancy liar.
$50 you don't even know Lloyd
George" asked Texas.
NE" mutters the Professor.
"And you never eat macaroni
with General Diaz," yelled Slim.
''N-No." mumbled the Professor.
We'll all I got to say is that ia
rather have your talent for lying
than q license to STEAL" says Slim.
PICKS THE WRONG HORSE.
We holds another conference and
decides to spare the Professors
life on the condition that he does
the cumming for eats and flops for
the crowd during our brief stay in
Washington. The Professor gladly
agrees. and, closely followed by Slim.
he begins his tale of woe to folks on
the Avenue. He collects about a
dollar when Slim gets ambitious
and thinks he'll try his hand him
self. He picks out kindly looking
gentleman who was standing on the
curb and begins to tell him about
the horrors he went through fight
ing In France. The kindly gent
turns out to be Lieutenant Bremen
man Of the Fourth Precinct and he
rests a fatherly hand on Sims
shoulder and invites him to drift
up to Police Headquarters. Slim
accepts reluctantly and they disap-
pears In the crowd.
The Professor comes back and
the three Of US drown our sorrows
In . bottle OF bitters. That night
we slept at the Mission and after
getting a breakfast from a nice old
lady in a house on Third street, we
sauntered over to the Police Court
to see how Sims case would come
cut. .... ........
There was sure some bunch lined
UP to meet their fate. Most of
them were just PLAIN cases of
drunks. and from the appearance of
the drinkers, gasoline must be q
favorite beverage with the rum
hounds In Washington. Sims
name was called at last and the
Judge looks him over with critical
eyes. The charge was read and Slim
takes the stand.
What have you to say" asks
the Judge.
Nothing" answers Slim.
Ever been before me up here
before7"
mo. Sir"
Your face seems very familiar
to me-"
MAYBE that's because I used to
be a bartender"
Guilty. sixty days"
Slim was led back and we marched
mournfully from the courtroom.
That night we slept at the Municipal
Lodging House and the next morn
ing we chopped up wood for two
hours. I want to admit right here
that the Municipal Lodging House
don't stand 40 high with US.
We found It no trouble to gst
plenty of eats the next day. We
Just loafed around having a good
time and letting the Professor pan
HANDLE tho hooze p,opey Wa Loaf