The Monroe journal., 1921-05-17
Hogville News.

Hogville. May IL Cape Alison
who ordered new watch from some
where away off, has received il. and
instead OF winding with a key il is
one OF these new tangled stem wind
ing affairs and is attracting no little
attention in Hogville. The Postmas-
ter. who has always had a great deal
OF annoyance over losing his watch
key, wonders why some fool did not
think Of the new arrangement for
winding a watch years ago.
Dag Smith has a large knot on his
head all because he disagreed with
Bill Hellwanger about a certain thing
Saturday night.
There was an all-day meeting with
dinner on the ground at the Petunia
Ridge Methodist church last Sunday
ana everything passed off most pleas
antlf except in one instance when
Das smith cot Il "bawling out By
some woman for stepping on her nice
table cloth while reaching after pies.
Dag tried TO square himself By pull
ing OF his shoes and performing in
his sock feet during the rest of the
meal
Bulser Smothers has read a great
deal about the open shop" of late.
He wonders what il is. He thinks
is must be blacksmith shop as they
are always about the most open shops
he Knows anything especially
the one at Hogyille, where wild mules
have kicked most of the planks out
OF the walls while being shod.
The editor of the Pumpkinville Blu
gle has decided to quit trying to get
ANY news for his paper, there being
no use, as his subscribers always say
there is no news in il. He will let
his subscribers use the space for their
poetry and the like. He can see no
reason for getting news unless he can
get credit for il.
, or all the crimes committed and
charged TO Zero Peck. of this town.
perhaps the most dastardly and un-
pardonable one OF the whole list was
committed by him last Sunday. II
happened in this way: Zero and his
good wife, Samantha Peck, who is al
ways given the credit when Zero goes
TO church, attended church at Bear
Ford Baptist church last Sunday, and
when the sermon was over and the
preached had said the benediction
Zero got up and came out of the
church and went on home. When
he reached home, he looked back
down the lane and saw that Samantha
was not coming. After waiting
Iawhile and knowing he could not get
dinner until she arrived, decided he
must 80 back and look her up, think
ing perhaps she had gotten tied up
in some kind of argument or discus
sion with some of the other women.
He did not see anything of her until
he reached the church. where she
was found still asleep in the seat
where he had left her. Zero would
have said nothing about il. but Mrs.
Peck was so indignant over the af-
fair that she told some of the women
OF the town and since then il has
been widely discussed by both men
and women. The women generally
are strong in their denunciations of
Zero for such cruel neglect of his
wife, and the men also seem against
Zero In the matter. Ordinarily the
men would side with the man in the
case in matters of this kind, but as
Zero has always been more or less
indolent, contentious. little. and two
faced, he has but few If any friends
among the men, and this case of neg
lect of the woman whom he promised
to "endow with all his worldly goods"
of which he had none nor never
will have) will go down in history
in this town as being one of cruel and
inhuman treatment. The men have
decided that the next time Zero goes
TO sleep on the porch at the postofflce
they will not wake him at closing
time.