The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1921-01-13
TILLICUM PAYS
RESPECT TO SNORER

Long Beach, Calf, Dec. 26, 1920.
Editor Glacier As stated in my pre-
ious letter, we were privileged to
board our sleeper in Portland at 3 80
p. n. Our train, No. 80. was to depart
at a. m. The porter greeted us with
a welcome smile, and showed US our
compartments, where we were soon
decorating the fish net with haberdash-
cry, and things, after which we dumped
our freight for the night, or hit the
hay, to be more explicit. The car, not
| being in motion, seemed unusually
still. save few soft thuttering purrs
| like someone running the gamut on a
! picket fence with their finger, were
already entering the borders Of dream
land. Our sleeper did not seem to be
haunted by any of those old profess
sional snOre hounds that specialize in
their nefarious iniquity, you know
what | mean, those old overstuffed,
bubble bellied, jingle shouted, wheez-
ers, that make life unbearable for
| others, and night hilarious with their
blamed old flabgasted, double barreled,
choke bored, splutter buss, that a
providential Providence provided them
with to be used as an ornament to
their face. nose, to have and to hold.
and to keep from poking into other
people business.
Some one told me that Don Qulxote
charged a windmill, a very silly thing
it seems to me for old Don to do, un-
less it was human windmill. In that
case the silly thing was at the other
end of the dilemma and old Quick
was justified. If you have cause to be-
lieve that your sleeper will be haunted
by snoring dervishes. good plan would
be to arm yourself with a mopshandle,
with toy balloon on the end, and if a
snore storm develops, sally forth in
fluted pajamas, and having located the
storm center of discord emulate Don
Quixote's example, and land an upper
cut to the chin. | think you will agree
with me that the impact and explosion
would cause any old snore to backfre,
and when a snore backfires, its your
inning. There is nothing like it, it's
supreme, and has no rival, and won't
have until the crack of doom. This, ]
am sure, would be cure, at least for
ten minutes.
In case of second offense, get a
cowboy with his lariat and leather
barrelled hair legs to hog tie him and
cast him into the baby's teethlng room, |
where there is weeping, wa ling and |
gnashing of teeth" Not being a
grammarian, nor yet a Missourian, my
stunted vocabulary fails to express the |
indignation | feel when one Of the
aforesaid genus homo appropriates to
himself a whole car, and makes a saw
mill of it. The thought of it makes
the dander boil in my brains.
When gray-eyed morning shooed
away the gloom, we we're we'll on our
way and our train half way across the
state. Between and 10 a. M, draw
head on one of the coaches pulled out,
some delay. We arrived
At Ashland at 8 p. m.. three or four
hours late. They lost another three
lours here fixing up the drawhead;
his caused us to lose our reservations
N No. out of Oakland, as our train
allied to make connection. The Pull
nan CO., however. gave us berths on
10. ITO over the coast route, which de-
arts from San Francisco at 8 :15 p. m.
We saw very little snow, as it was
light when we passed over the Siski-
Gus. We did not see any sunshiny
,eather until we got nearly to Santa
Barbara. We arrived in Long Beach
n Saturday, the 18th, being approx
nately three days journey from Hood {
liver, Ore, Mlka Tillicum.