The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1921-07-29
long Hours For Mike


Two Irishmen died, so the story
goes. One went to heaven and the
other didn't. Mike called down to Pat:
what are yez dom Pat?'
"Shovelin' COAL
ARE yez workin' harp
Not very. We have shifts an work
only three hours day. What ARE
yez dom up there in hivin?"
"Oim sweepin' the golden stairs"
"Arre yez workin' hard?v
~Yis. Oh how to work. eighteen hours
day. We're short Of men up here. -
Hardware Reporter.
Will was dining away from home.
The lady of the house had cooked
some mecaroni with the chicken gravy.
When it was passed to Will he re-
fused. 4 thought you liked chicken
gravy said the lady. Il do most
times: but / don't like the windpipes
in it."
Having saved the world for de-
mocracy, it is now up to the victor
nations to save democracy for the
world. Norfolk yirginian-- Pilot
$ss
IL Might Happen
A potatoes eye would be tearfuls the
heart Of lettuce grow sad. some cab
bage's head get dizzy, calm start
talking bad. A Spanish tale from an
onion might split the peas in pod,
blade of grass might cut them down if
the flowers began to nod. An apple
would certainly dig to the core, a
banana slip on its peel, the scales of
fish would cheat, no doubt, and
slippery elm would slide along, a pin
might lose its head; even the frogs
would cease to croak and a widows
past be dead. The salad might leave,
without dressing and give the window
q pain, stamp might get licked for
sticking and Adam start raising Cain
The sun might get shine on, causing
the moon to beam, needles eye
might close in shame, and the tongue
Of a shoe might scream. The dog
wood tree might bark aloud, boot
might stick to the last, bean might
stalk away in the dark and a plaster
lose its cast. Tires would never have
bIowouts, blue Sundays might never
accrue, all this and more might hap
pen if
The Adjusted Compensation Bill
went through. American Legion
$50
Age Of Opportunity
Oldtime Mosquito Ito Young Mos
quito): "And to think that when
! was your age could sting girls only
ON the face and hands!''
Papa, what are descendants ?"
asked small boy why, those who
come after us" "A few moments later
q young man appeared in the hall.
who is that in the hall?'' asked the
father. That is one of sisters de-
scendents," said the boy HE has
come after her
The teacher handed paper to each
member of the class and said: Now
write out what You would do if you
had a million dollars One paper
came back with nothing on it. How
Is this?' asked the teacherr This
paper has nothing on it, WELL
said the boy, that's what would do
Il I had a million dollars
A lad was delivering a bill of goods
to lady and kept up continual
Whistling. The lady remarked: Don't
you know it is impolite to whistle in
the presence Of a lady?" The boy re-
Piled: That's what the boss told me
to do, he said If we sold anything
to You, we would have to whistle for
tic. 6. Shut, in Nashville Advo-
cate.
Our chief trouble at present it the
Eek" in export Toledo News-Bee.
Professor Einstein says American
women are lovely. How much easier
] tbs to understand the professor
when he cuts out theory and gets
down to fact! Marion Star.
Father, mother, and little son were
riding in street car. Mother and
the boy were sitting, father standing.
The mother said: Son, don't you
hate to see You father reaching up
for tn estrap2" No. not here: /
would at home.'