The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1921-03-25
PIGS Is PIGS
And the Vigilants will get you
if you don't watch out.

A certain man possessed swine
| of weight three score pounds. 1t was
the wont of this swine to root far
afield, fearing nothing. Nay, fearing
neither of swarthy mein and raven
mustache, nor gods nor devils.
And behold, upon a certain day
this swine wandered him nigh unto
the station of oils that stands hard
by the brook called Alexauken. There
he sought by the diligence of the
snout of him to unearth from the soil
the sweets thereof. But there came
one having devil, yea, a foreign de-
vii of gloating greed, who disdained
not to stuff this defenceless swine
underneath the mantle of him. And
hied him away with furtive haste
across the span of the iron horses
which passeth over the brook called
Alexauken.
Whereupon hue and cry was rails
ed in the household of that swine.
There was weeping and wailing and
crashing of teeth in the portals there
Of. Now there came one from the
Cordwood that fisheth upon the bank
of the brook called Alexauken, saying
verify, as | sat me down beside yon-
der brook | saw one from afar whose
mantle bulged unseemly. And there
from beneath the mantle a
wrigling of something like unto a
tail of swine bearing upon it the
mud form the wallows."
Whereupon the owner of the swine
was wroth and swore him mighty
oath. Straightaway he HE'D himself
away to lash his steed to the chariot
that he might haste him away unto
the town fathers for the thief to be
be apprehended with all diligence.
But ere he had got him ready to
turn his face toward the highway
there came one of the disciples Of
the Valiant Vigillants of Valor whose
Iuty it is to hound down those Of
Ill repute who purloin swine of the
field and steed of the chariot. This
one was more valiant than all the
;est because that he had him the
scent of hound on the trail. Because
that he was a barber, and knowing
of old time the smells of the hairs
Of man and beast. Yea, even wreatly
the smell of the bristles of a swine,
even the bristles of the swine matted
with mud. And the hearing of that
valiant barber was like unto fierce
ness.
Now this one spoke soothing words
unto the owner of the purloined swine
him with soft words that
he be not hasty to seek the town
fathers, nor the warden thereof, sa-
ing "Tarry you here until | come a
gain. HAPPY I shall apprehend this
villain.
And forthwith he HE'D him like I'M
to a dog on the scent. And it came
to pass that when he had walked
him over the span Of the iron horses
that reareth itself above the brook
called Alexauken that there came to
his nostrils the scent of swine, and
withal the shrill squeal of the same.
With all speed he got him to the
house from whence. came the scent
and the squeal and seeth one there
tilling the soil of the garden nigh un-
to the house. Now it was known unto
this barber that the husbandman of
that house was a trailer upon the
trail of the iron horses, and he wot
not that he was herdsman. So with
ferocious mein he challenged him the
man "From whence cometh this noise
of squealing swine?
And that one who was villain OF
old time, seeing the face of this ad,
herent of the Valiant Vigilant of
Valor became sore afraid And the
tongue of him Glove to the roof of
his mouth and he spoke like one with
the palsy making him vain excuses.
Then he of the tonsorial name look
ed fiercely upon this one who spoke
IS wriggleth the tail of fish, and
said unto him "Get you hence unto
the owner of that swine, and confess
that thou art thief and a robber:"
And quaking with fear that villain
went forthwith unto the owner of
the swine and confessed all. The man
who owneth the swine disdained him
with anger and went straightaway
with his chariot and found his swine
that was lost. And when he had gath
cred his swine unto his bosom, even
then he made him worship unto the
Valiant Vigilants of Valor.