The Yale expositor., 1921-09-08

smelling and almost splitting distance
of the North river.
While he was still in funds he
bought himself a wooden khaki over
coat with one Of those enormous col
lars which look like an Inverted
bucket when they are up and surpass
in efficiency the traditional black mask
so beloved by illustrators of the week
| ly press He also had speaking slot
cut in the glass of the cab window
| Just behind his best ear and subse-
Quently removed and lost the slide
that had been fitted over II with con-
siderable skill and trouble.
During the next few nights he pro-
ceeded to have the time Of his life; so
much so that he was constantly over
I whelmed with wonder at his stupidity
IN not having become a taxi-driver
years before! II should be remem-
bered that Mr.. Randolph was Of New
York Yorky; he knew everybody cas-
ually, from Mr.. Milyuns and his
daughter, Eileen, down to the latest
addition TO the pitlful ranks OF the
midlnette. More than that, so broad
was his acquaintanceship that as
sporting gent he had once or twice
been tipped Off as to the where and
when of 8 proposed gun-play.
In addition TO being by right Of birth
an integral part of all the social strata
Of Manhattan, he knew the surface of
the island and Of the adjacent COM
moner soil of the mainland consid-
erably better than he knew the palm
of his own hand. In fact, he could
scarcely ever have been conscious that
he had a palm, even as a map Of per-
sonal fortune; for he who is complete
ly satisfied with the present never
worries about the future and Mr.. Ran.
dolph had been born content.
With such an equipment, is II to he
wondered at that he found the taxi
field rich with unexpected and sur
prising blooms7 Fair flowers, he had
known heretofore to nod only over tea
tables and solid silver appeared sud-
denly transplanted TO his cab and
ready to nod on a stalwart shoulder.
Strong male tiger-lilies Of the money
market, grated to the cushions Of a
taxi. became complacent pillars upon
which some clinging ivy twined.
In six nights he learned the sound
that a banker makes when slender
fingers tickle him under the chin; the
gasp of a girl. first-kissed; the cry Of
a young man upon discovering the alb
sence Of grandfather's gold watch, his
since graduation day; the cluck OF q
top-hat fairly sat upon in the excite
ment OF a moment that else would
have been tragic, the exasperating tap,
tap, tap, Of a hen-pecking tongue that
explained and condoned a murder mys-
terry In the next mornings papers, and
the sob Of a ruined youngster who had
played with borrowed money.
All these incidents took place with
people whom Mr.. Randolph knew or
tremely honest young man he was, let
II be said that II did not once occur to
him that he need never be poor while
humanity, supposedly in good stand
ing. continued to lay itself open to
blackmail at the rate Of case a night.
At the same time, he was not stupid
and occasionally tapped out mfssive
loaded with dynamite on the garage
typewriter when no one was around.
Here Is a sample.
"Mr. Poindexter MacGuler, Sir: As
I was driving you and Miss b. b.
larst night who was fostermothered
by an aunt of a friend Of friend Of
| 40 hAr nA
all I got to say Is II / see you out
with her again short Of the bands of
matrimony I'll get another friend Of
mine to get Mr.. Robert Herv RAN
dolph to tell what he knows about
you cheaten at cards on Dec. % last"
Nights that gave birth in the morn
ing to such illiterary tit-bits could
scarcely be called dull, but II was not
long before Mr.. Randolph found him
self threatened by an unexpected mo-
notonous employment. Unfortunately
for his entertainment, his reputation
as the one par excellence st. Bernard
lifesaver to the inebriate elite spread
rapidly throughout the Force no that
the telephone was constantly burdened
| uuIlHk Tue wee HOuTb WIFI tue IOnOW-
ing: Say. is Slim Hervey on the jobi
Well, when he comes In tell I'm got
another tailor-model drunk here what
has lost his home address from his
mind"
With suspicious suddenness Mr..
Randolph proceeded to forget half his
school and eliminates and cold-blooded-
ly leave them to their fate and q
night out. not without coming to grief
on at least one occasion. however
what are you comm over mel" de
manded the irate captain Of the Nth
precinct "You amt forgot that you
was vally to r. Fl. Randolph for seven
years, have va? Has all his frcns
gone on the wagon"
II looked like a loop-hoie. "Sure."
said Slim Hervey promptly "HIs
cluNs near busted what with water
drinkers and softs.'
J