Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-04-16

BITS OF BYPLAY
by Luke McLuk
Copyright 1920. By The Cincinnati Enquirer.
You Know Him.
mean old cuss is Oswald Brakes,
He isn't fair, and he Is yellow;
Every time he makes mistakes,
He blames them on the other ielio"'
Mean Brute!
"Why is it that all the world loves a iover!
ssn eocs Ms the world likes to be amused, 1
suppose" growled Mr.. Oldbatcn.
Fooey,
"wbat.s in a name ?" the Bard once unused,
And BY his statement I'm enthused;
Limberger by another name,
am afraid, would smell the same.
would you issue a prescription for whiskey
to a rundown patient 2" asked the caller.
why. 1 suppose So" replied the,doctor:
well, 60 ahead and write the prescription'
doc" said the caller. I'm be back IN a minute;
I'm goin' out and let an automop'ie MT me
when I'm crossing the street.
Fact.
Wealth does not make men humble, Bill
A thoughtful man Declares;
yourl and the heir to millions will
Put or a million airs.
No Joke.
The self-starter has been q great thing tor
the sy autom aspeed tn. is,G pe sas "But it would
help some il some one would invent a SELF
euider for the automobile"
Notice!
A.. Frank Christian, of Newport, Tenn, wants
to start a revival in the Names Is Names Cup
70 ace IL some of the members won't hit the
trail.
Crops.
THE weather won't cause me aiarm'
Announced old Farmer Tops;
For I will start a chicken iarm'
And I will have full crops
Well. Thatd Help Some, Barrie.
NASHVILLE Tennessean.) ,.l
II beer is to be sold only In nine states. Iet
us hope, for Luke McLuke's SAKE tha1 ohio
is at least two of them.
Education.
PRO-, West. of the University of Wisconsin,.
recently made an Information test with a rep
college group chosen al ranaom
from Different classes OF students. co une man
should go back to grammar school. FROM nout
to thirty per cent. of the students agreed on such
IeShorns are cows. An artichoke is a Ash.
A Chameleon is a bird. Tokyo is in China. Yale
University Is in nc, Cam %Ds ! nov eEst0h Foe wrote
The Scarlet Letter" diamonds are proouoeo
by oysters. 1871
Perhaps the ignorance exhibited here may be
explained by this statement of the students:
"Our college work keeps US so busy that we
have no time to read the newspapers.
Applejack?
We would like to call the attention OF MI
garde /Flanner, In the current NUMBER OF the
Bookman:
with the apples Of your breath"
Wuni
The dos show in Columbus Ohio, is being
held in Katz Building, Gay and High streets.
Oh, joy.
We bava M hahv grand to play, |
No monograph to whoop:
But we have music once a day
"he" Luke McLuke.
Well, daughter starts the ball to roll,
Though father she will roast;
But she Is just as bad, my soul,
Each morn when cruncninE toast,
Lesser and Lesser.
Horseless vehicles.
Wireless telegraph,
Fireless cookers ,
Fireless cookers.
Iceless refrigerators,
Smokeless powder
And a peerless nation.
Names Is Names.
Ruby Ring lives in Match, Tenn.
Our Daily Special.
A High Flyer Seldom Reaches the Top.
Luke McLukc Says
Once upon a time a girl walked a mile TO a
drug store for a lar of rouge. And when she got
home she discovered that the exercise had maze
her cheeks pink.
You can't sometimes always tell. The Soul
full Look Of Deep Yearning in a girls eyes may
be caused by Biliousness. not Love.
Every town likes to be regarded as a Literary
Center. Yet advertising writer's continue to
make twice as much money as poets.
Every time a woman feels lonely she moves
one piece of furniture over to where another
big piece Of furniture stood and moves the other
his piece OF furniture over to where the other