The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1921-12-13
ON SECOND THOUGHT
BY JAY E. HOUSE
IFrom Philadelphia Public Ledger.l
Is There Anything else !?

Sir-What. in your opinion, is
fair percentage of advertising matter
in daily newspaper? In yester-
days Public Ledger the pure adver
tisement claims 81 per cent of the
news section.
Are you a relation of the we'll
known Colonel House, or is yours a
nom de plume? In any case, what
does the e. stand for in your manner
Can you draw? II so, illustrate your
column betimes.
Please publish list OF rules for the
columhist. We are acquainted only
with No. 8.
Please publish your photograph in
the column as a Christmas gift to your
beloved readers.
Have you ever written a story, short
or long? If SO, what was the name
Of it?
Would you kindly favor us with a
list of the words you have unearthed
and another OF those which you have
coined?
why not be in style and reminisce
over childhood days?
Kow tow to the highbrows now and
again by noting death days of the
literatl and celebrating same by fitting
eulogfes. A. 5.
Upon most of the queries propound-
ed and as to most of the suggestions
We do think the advertising matter
should be restricted to permit the
printing of column of reading mat
ter in the middle of the editorial page.
1t would have been more felicitous,
more in accord with the rules Of polite
society, had A. B. asked. as Colonel
House relation of yours?" instead of
putting it the other way around.
Roughly speaking, we have been in
49, n
years last past. OF that number, s, 761
| have asked if we were related to the
colonel. We desire to say, we wish,
as it were. to observe, that we are
| dead tired of that joke, if it is joke.
We notice, incidentally, that thru
| the exigencies of fate, Mr.. George
Burns, of the Giants, has been given
an indeterminate sentence to Gin
cinnati. If, in the circumstance, the
New York sporting writers wish to
make a hero of Mr.. Burns, they may
| count on such assistance as we are
able to give.
UNFORTUNATELY, Mr.. Burns IS not a
cheese. He can never be a hero to
New York.
We make a proffer Of our small re-
tail trade to Mr.. Stewart Anderson
upon condition. Mr.. Anderson is the
publisher of Sparks of Laughter No.
1" and Sparks of Laughter No. g"
and has just circularized this desk.
He has this prospect built up and
ready for the "pushover.' But before
we sign the papers Mr.. Anderson must
do one thing.
OF Sparks of Laughter No. 2" its
author says: This is q book into
which 1 have packed an entirely new
collection of over 500 of the very best
brief bits of laughter of wide variety
Jokes and funny stories--that have
| appeared in newspapers and maya
zines, that public speakers have used
| and that have heard in much min
Cling with men and women, They
reach the pot. They give an instant
contact with the audience. Sparks
of Laughter is far removed from
| the public prints of so-called drum
mers' Stories -
This, then, is the condition We
| make: Mr. Anderson may send us
his book. If it induces laughter we
agree to remit the 50 he exacts. If it
fails. we are to have the book for
| nothing. For him the speculation is
| comparatively speaking, a mild one.
Every week of our life we wager this
/ job on the proposition that we can
! laugh. What we want to know, is
| Stewart game to take a chance?
! AS for Sparks of Laughter No. Is
we find its prospectus even moro
| deeply intriguing. 1t teaches one how
to tell a funny story, If Mr.. Ander-
son can teach US how to tell funny
| story-and he may select his own
| weapon-wen agree to pay him 325
| cash in hand. If he'll teach us to
make the Chief laugh. Wen pay him
| $50 cash in hand. Is Mr.. Anderson a
sport? If he is let him prove 1t.
We ask permission to rearrange our
prize offer and to make slight changes
| in the bestowal of the awards we
| had awarded the hand embroidered
! dove-cote, first prize, for the heaviest
emulsion of mush concerning Babe
| Ruth to the baseball writer's of the
New York Trib- That was before we