The Washington times., 1921-08-28
every One Called Him a Missr."

theIh, transforming into Gentle
Folk all except the Mutt who carried
the Letter Of Credit.
Laura and the Girls suddenly for
got that there was any Territory
west OF Pittsburgh, and they drop
ped their RS and began to walk
like Cloak Models and order their
Food in Foreign Languages. After
that. all Father had TO do was to
follow along and look Pleasant and
dig every few Minutes.
The Outfit stopped at the Main
Dance.Hut three days so as to
obtain a Residence and after that
they Registered as being from New
York. Then they threw Papa on a
Boat and took him to the Other
Side, the Place where Americans
are so Popular, II you don't care
what you say.
TRIED TO BUTT IN.
BY paying off the Mortgage they
obtained a Suite at a Hotel patron
lied by the Nobility and Gentry and
supported by People from Iowa.
After which they began to present
Letters of Introduction and try to
butt in.
Laura and the Girls felt that il
only they could eat a Meal once or
twice i'm the gloomy Presence of
those who had Handles to their
Names. they would be ready to fall
back and die Happy.
They had some Trouble about get
ting into the Tall Game on account
Of their Money. In the States the
general Run of People worship the
Almighty Dollar, but in England
and on the Continong they hate the
Sight of II. or possibly not.
In spite of the Fact that they
were sinfully Rich they succeeded
in Elbowing their way into several
to put Ice into the Claret in order
to keep 1t at the Temperature OF
the Room.
The Financier, in his First Part
Clothes with an Ice-Cream Weskit,
was a Picture that no Artist could
paint. His hair would not stay
combed and he hardly ever knew
what to do with his Hands.
Laura and the Girls could forget
that they had oncg seen the MS
souri, River, but not so with Old
Ready Money.
ELBOWED KNIGHTED ONES.
Right at the Table, sitting op-
posite the Earl of Hammersmith or
the Marquis of Stoke-on- Trent.
while Laura and the Girls would be
talking about their Country Place
and trying to smother The Ameri-
can Accent, the Lobsterine would
ante out of turn and tell about
something that happened to him
once when he was shearing Sheep.
Then Laura and the Girls would
want to duck right under the Table
and die of Modification.
The only Reason they put up
with him was that he seemed to he
useful when II came to signing OIL
the Dotted Line.
In England they met a great
many Nice People. The Financisr
knew that they were Nice because
they wore Dark Clothes and seldom
Smiled.
TWO WED TITLES.
Then the two shapely Daughters
went and married couple of Titles
on which the Insects had been
working.
The Financier had the Novel FIX
perience of putting up for n Brace
of Sons-in-Law who would not
speak to him when any one was
around. Which served him right,
for he had no Business to be IN
Trade. 1t was very careless of
him not to have inherited ais
Stuff
Still, II was a great Satisfaction
to him to be Blood Relative of
two Howling Swells who had Pedi-
grees reaching back almost as far
as their Debts.
Very often he would take theM
into a Back Room and turn them
around and look them over and
recognize the cold, undeniab,e Fact
that they we're cheap at any prirs.
MORAL: Bunker Hill has been
avenged over and over.