The Washington herald., 1921-01-09
HOSTAGES TO MOMUS

papers. Here was a Greek citizen
named Burdick Harris" says he,
captured for a graft by Africans;
and the United States sends two
gunboats to the State of Tangiers
and makes the King of Morocco
give up $4,000 to Raisuli."
60 slow" says 1. That sounds
too international to take in all az
once. It's like thimble, thimoIe,
who's got the naturalization pa
pers?"
Twas press dispatches from
Constantinople," says Caligula.
You'll see, six months from now,
They'll be confirmed by the month
ly magazines; and then 1t won't Dc
long till you'n notice 'em alongside
of photos in the while-you-get-your
haircut weeklies. It's all right,
Pick. This African man Raisuli
hides Burdick Harris up in the
mountains, and advertises his price
to the governments Of different ma
tions. Now, you wouldn't think sOr
a minute" goes on Caligula, that
John Hay would have Clipped IN
and helped this graft along II it
wasn't a square game, would your
why, no." says I. I've always
SIOOQ right III Win bryan POllSlSPb
and l couldn't consciously say
word against the Republican ad-
ministration now. But II Harris
was a Greek, on what system of
international protocols did Hay in
terfere?"
1T amt exactly set forth in the
papers," says Caligula. IT suppose
it's a matter of sentiment. You
know he wrote this poem, Little
Breeches'; and them Greeks wear
little or none. But anyhow. John
Hay sends the Brooklyn and the
Olympia over, and they cover Africa
with thirty-inch guns. And then
Hay cables after the health of the
persona grata. And how are they
this morning. he wires. Is Bur
dick Harris alive yet, or Mr.. Raisuli
dead" And the King OF Morocco
sends up the $4,000, and they turn
Burdick Harris loose.
And there's not half the hard
feelings among the nations about
this little kidnapping matter as
there was about the peace congress.
And Burdick Harris says to the re-
porters in the Greek language, that
he's often heard about the United
States, and he admires Roosevelt
next to Raisuli, who is one of the
whitest and most gentlemanly kid
nappers that he ever worked along
side of. So you see, Pick" winds
up Caligula, we've got the law OF
nations on our side. Well cut this
colonel man out of the herd, and
corral him in them little mountains,
and stick up his heirs and assigns
for $4,000.
We'll, you seldom little red-head-
ed territorial terror" answers, you
can't bluff your Uncle Techumseh
! Pickens! I'll be your company in
this graft. But misdoubt II you've
absorbed the inwardness Of this
Burdick Harris case, Calig; and If
on any morning we get a telegram
from the Secretary of State asking
about the health of the scheme, !
| propose to acquire the most pro-
pinQultous and celeritous mule in
this section and gallop diplo-
matically over into the neighboring
and peaceful nation of Alabama"
Me and Caligula spent the next
| three days investigating the bunch
Of mountains into which we pro-
posed to kidnap Col. Jackson T
Rockingham. We finally selected an
upright slice of topography covered
with bushes and trees that you
could only reach by a secret path
that we cut out up the side of it.
And the only way to reach the
mountain was to follow up tho bend
of a branch that wound among the
elevations.
Then I took in hand an important
J subdivision of the proceedings. l
went up to Atlanta on the train
and laid in a $3.50 supply of the
most gratifying and efficient lines
OF grub that money could buy. I
always was an admirer of viands
in their more palliative and revised
stages. Hog and hominy are not
only inartistic to my stomach, but
they give indigestion to my moral
sentiments. And I thought Of Col.
Jackson T. Rockingham. president
of the Sunrise G. Edenville Tap
Railroad, and how he would miss
the luxury Of his home fare as is
so famous among wealthy Southern