The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1921-08-04
TOSCA.

Well, I've went an saw a wop'ra, an I'm often
them shows for life.
Me fer snappy movie, an the same goes fer
the wife.
op'ras kin run fer Astor an Morgan an all
them eggs,
But gimme a show with action, where the
danes has all got legs.
Like this it is: Last Friday we're tossin the
clickin' cubes,
When / win three hundred berries from flock
o. hard boiled rubes.
So the wife climbs into her war paint an she
drags me off to a show
That they call by the name o. Tosca,-at seven
bucks throw.
Fourteen berries it sets me to listen to some
fat wop
Bawiin' his crazy head OFF like hs don't kesW
when to stop.
Fourteen hard earned berries to hear them
dagoes shout.
An this is the plot of the story. the way I
dope 1t out:
bird by the name Angelotti who is doin' a
bit in the coop
Makes his getaway outa the hoosegow while
the keepers are lappin' their soup;
Gives the loud razZ to the coppers, an leaVin'
the bulls in the lurch
Does a Bergdoll to Cavaradossi, his pal that
is paintin' church.
Now Mario Cavaradossi's a lad that paints
pitchers by hand,
An he's fell for a jane they call Tosca; she
sings op'ra songs up at the Strand.
Well, as soon as he lamps Angelotti he slips
MIN a scuttle O. chow,
An he SAYS ION your way little stranger this
joint amt no place fer you now.
Then Tosca drops in fer a visit an they sit
there some minutes an kid,
But Mario don't put her jerry to where he's
got Angelo hid.
An while they sit chinnin' an Iaughin' at the
line this here Mario pull,
my Gawd," she says, eff it amt Scarpy! an
in walks the chief O. the bulls.
Now this Scarpia's batty on Tosca; he's goof
that sandpapers his throat,
An he gives the young pair the once over, an
then right away loses his goat.
Say, cut it, he tells him. We've got you fer
helpin' that dago to blow.
Snap out of it, Pack up your paint-box You're
wanted at headquarters, boz!
The next acts in scarpia's Office, where Marios
went for a ride,
An, after they've printed an mugged him
they're beatin' his hide off inside.
But never a squeal does he give en- though |
they smear him all over the Jail.
An then Tosca blows into the office. She's
been chasin' around after bail.
An her an the chief have a confab. Says
Scarpia. very polite,
What wonderful weather we're havin', though
it looks like it's cloudy tonight
They're sweepin a cell out at Sing Sing fer
your gentleman friend there inside
told him he's gotta plead guilty. If he goes
to the bat, babe, he'll ride"
Then Tosca says, Say, chief. have pity. He
done it fer me an the kid;
An he amt gonna squeal on the dago. I'd
throw down the rat if he did,
Say, look here" says Scarpy to Tosca, an he
pours three fingers o brew,
i amt got love fer that paint guy, but I'd
leave home an mother fer you.
II throw that eggs case if you say SO; but
l gotta know where get off,
IN Tosca says, Sure, kid, l get you and
she swallas her brew with a cough.
hen Scarpia goes to the table, an he looks
like he's writin note
When Tosca quick grabs up cheese knife an
she sticks the poor boob in the throat
hen she lays him out swell on the carpet
puts the candlesticks next to his head.
Old Steve Merritt she says, couldn't beat
this" an she leaves the stiff laying there
dead.
he next acts the roof O. the hoosegow, an
poor Mario's near gave up hope, ,
When Tosca breaks in the double, an she ,
slips him earful o. dope.
Say, I tipped that there hull an I framed it !
so they'll pull fake shoot fer a STALL"
hen along come the doughboys with rifles !
and back Mario up to the wall.
he sergeant give orders to fire, an they plug }
the poor fish full O. lead, r.
n Tosca screams 'Scarpia's bilked me! .
They've went and shot Mario dead" )
here's voices heard comm. an Tosca decides
that it's time fer to blow, l.
o she grabs up her SKIRTS does a brode +
-. An that there's the end O. the show !
FLACCUS. a