davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1921-02-19
LOVE. ny 4 PEssIMIsT.

Love IL a nightmare with one foot.
Two children with one bun,
Two turnips with a single root,
Two cabbage heads in one.
Dewitt.
The Washington times., 1921-02-19
On an ice wagon the other day
| saw this:
MANUFACTURED
NxICE. c. M. ].
GENTLE MARY.

Oh Mary was a country lass
And nothing her could COW.
She dug potatoes all the day.
In fact she does II now.
She was n whole -souled little maid,
So nothing did by halves
And all the farmer boys came round
To see her pretty CALVES.
They listened to her plsintive talk
And thought her heart was full:
She showed them how the plOw to STEER
And how to throw the BULL.
r. II. A
The Washington times., 1921-02-19
OUR MOTTO.

He surely Is a handsome cuss,
And he can strut his stun
He claims the secret of success
Is, always treat 'em rough"
OHIO.
The Washington times., 1921-02-19

What we can't figure is
why a beautiful mannikin
has to hire a lawyer. She
furnishes the ankles. All
her lawyer does II to argue
around. haw and hem, and
take the jury's mind off
the case.
The Washington times., 1921-02-19

These postofrices form a national
bouquet: Aster, Ala Carnation, Ore. 4;
Daisy. Ky; Fern, Neb. Golden Rod.
Fla. Ivy, Ohio; Lily. Ky; Lilac, Neb. (:
Pansy, Ohio; Primrose, Ohio; Rose,
Ohio Violet, Ohio. TIGER
The Washington times., 1921-02-19
FoR LATIN STUDENTS.

They are dead who wrote ".
TNcy are dead who spoke IT,
Thy AN lie who learn IT,
R'..s ... d"Hth. they 'dru ".
p'.' NfNMN RiiF.
The Washington times., 1921-02-19

She doesn't care for his
money. After it's gone.
She loves him for his pelf
alone. Her idea of a val
entine is anything with a
yellow back. Her portrait
of Cupid is Ben Franklin
on a century note.
The Washington times., 1921-02-19

As Il We fms ore "org to wear
nyts Aprl /, I'm rolng 20 join the
ranks and see II can rig up cocoa-
nut MOTHER
The Washington times., 1921-02-19

Jilt gets another million
dollars worth OF glue for
broken hearts, while the
jury retires for another de-
liberation to see if any of
'em got her phone number.
The Washington times., 1921-02-19
Mr.. B.'Baer
JACK AND JILT.
cOpyrishi isal, 10 s'I Company

The courts have been
loaded to the hinges with
compound frac ture of
promise cases. Recently, a
poor girl from the De Luxe
district was awarded one
million dollars worth of
heart oil and the custody
Of Pekingese spaniel. A
canary bird was allowed to
spend six months OF each
year with the party OF tho
first part and the other six
months with the family cat.
When Jilt tumbles into
love with Jack. she is for
jack. first. last and all the
time.
The Washington times., 1921-02-19
MARRIAGE OF JIM AND BET.

A country paper records the mar
riage of a colored couple by a poetic
country justice of the peace. Here
it is:
Jim, will you take Bet.
without any regret.
To love and cherish.
TIL one OF you perish,
And is laid under the sod.
So help you God?"
Jim having assented. this to the
bride:
BET, will you take Jim,
And cling to him,
Roth out and in,
Through thick and thin
Holding him to your heart,
TIL death do you part?"
Then he pronounced the pair man
and wife:
Through life alternate JOY and strife,
I now pronounce you man and wife.
Go up life's hill 'till you get to the level
And salute your bride, you black rusty
devil" EROTIC.
The code of the District of Co
lumbia puts no ban on man marry
ing the sister Of his wife. This IN
answer to an inquiry in your column.
EMERSON.
peanuts" pays u tribute TO
DANIEL BREESK1N. the Rialto's
orchestra leader. for his encourage
ment to the musicians under him in
the way Of publicly playing music
composed by them. All composers In
his orchestra get opportunity to have
their "pieces" tried out
The Washington times., 1921-02-19
''s11EARl>nS5EEn@1 g.
now TO BE BEAUTIFUL.

NOW TO BE BEAUTIFUL
she was the garbage mans dsushtB.
And she lived down by the swtll:
Sweet may have been the garbage.
But she sweeter still
Her hair the pride OF the alley,
II was wondrous fine and fair.
50 I secretly learned that II got that way
From the grease In the stmosphere.
SECOND BASE.
w. l.. MAY, now in Norfolk, Va,
has The Times sent to him that he
may get II and S, he says in let
ter. There's no street there like
old F, he notes-no cakes. few
vamps.
TONGUE EXERCISE.
saw Esau kissing Kate.
The fact is We all three saw.
For I Esau. He saw me,
And she saw l saw Esau.
I. C. w.
The Washington times., 1921-02-19

After girl gets her
heart scattered a couple OF
times for a million dollars
a scatter. she naturally be-
gins to think that man is
fickle. She hires a fat
lawyer whose ankles over
flow his shoes like a paper
bag full of lard on a radia-
tor. Then they pose before
the jury side by side. The
jury listens TO the lawyer.
looks at the plaintiffs
ankles and decides that the
law is the law and no man
can hold a jury's estimate
OF a beautiful ankle In con-
tempt
The Washington times., 1921-02-19
WELL SUPPLIED WITH LOVE.

Dear Bill: I'm in love with a
blonde and a brunette. I'll leave
ii to you, which should | take?
Now Bill, don't throw this away,
because Pm going TO take just
the one you say. RAY r.
Now, Ray. if you can love two OF
them real hard at the same time
you're going right fast. You seem to
be starting early on this plural stuff
The chances are you'll be loving an
other one or two in a few months,
and then you won't want either OF
these. Maybe you'd better go to some
country where they'll let you have a
whole string of 'em at one time.)
The Washington times., 1921-02-19

. II sears the heart to see
a poor modest, Tilted flap
per in court drying her
weeping lamps with the
hem of her skirt They all
dress demurely in porous
knit silk stockings and
spider web waists that
make the dimpleproof jury
spend two seconds In ma
ture deliberation on the
facts in the case. Jilt al
ways gets the sealed bid.
Justice may be blind but
no juryman wears blinkers.
The Washington times., 1921-02-19
BANK DEPOSIT PROBLEM.

What amount of money shall !
annually deposit in bank for ten
years, at the rate of per cent
compound interest to arrive al
an amount of $2,500?
s. JACKSON.
The Washington times., 1921-02-19
know why I won't marry

Tee-Do you know why I won't marry
you?
Heel can't think.
Tee-You guessed II. OHIO.
Have the fans heard that Co. r,
1st Md. N. G., Hyattsville, Md, are
to play basketball with the Navy
Yard? Then the Navy Yard are 60
ing out to Hyattsville with their
band and dancing will continue to
midnight. 2713329.
The Washington times., 1921-02-19

JOE B., IL years old, writes
earnestly that he wishes he had So
for that Mcbride banquet.
The Washington times., 1921-02-19
Then he pronounced the pair man
and wife:

Through life alternate JOY and strife,
now pronounce you man and wife
Go up life's hill Tin you get to the level
And salute your bride, you black rusty
devil" EROTIC.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1921-06-01
A FIELD FOR INVESTMENT
palm Beach Post.)

The worth OF South Florida as an agricultural
region is pretty well established by one set of
circumstances that may not be observed the
surface That is the purchase by bond houses of
the securities offered by drainage districts. The
value of the drainage district bonds depends upon
the ability of the land to attract farmers and to
produce products which will maintain the farmer
and hold him in that district and TO produce a
surplus in the form Of taxes for the sinking fund
to redeem the bonds. Before buying the bonds,
to learn if the security is good. That the drain
age districts stand the tests of these good bust
ness is proof that the districts. will stand
TIE tests of inspection made by farmers who seek
locations.
AS drainage operations progress and farmers
come in, there is need that roads be built and the
practice is to organize special road districts. For
the bonds of these South Florida districts there IS
always a good market. In the sale of the road
bonds the country undergOes second test, and
it meets the test.
If to the taxpayer it seems sometime that the
taxes are high, it should be encouragement to
them to know that they getting the value of
their money and that the value of their properties
made greater than the sum OF their taxes The
bond buyer. rule, takes chances; if to the
bond buyer the country looks worth more than his
investment. certainly the country is worth the
land owners investment.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1921-06-01
PROJECT THE DOCS

The extent to which anphobia affects the Of
fetal mind during the superheated summer months,
is indicated by an order, just issued by the ampa
police that every unmuzzed dog found the
street shall be summarily shot Under existing
laws dog owners have no remedy. Even the
societies for the prevention of cruelty to animals
are impoeDt in the premises, because appeals to
The courts are ineffective unless special features of
cruelty proven
There is a remedy, however, which should be
tried and the Humane Society Of this state, backed
by the national organization, should be able to
gel ii adopted. That Is 10 pass state law fixing
The status Ct the dog as property, making him
assessabe and taxable just like other domestic
animals and providing that he shall not be slaugh-
tered upon any suspicion Of being diseased until
a competent medical and archaeological expert has
passed upon his case, just as cattle are examined
for contagious diseases before being slaughtered
under the health regulations.
There Is nc reason why even dog should be
rlthiessly shot down because some police officer
thinks he has hydrophobia. or because he might
possibly bite CT annoy somebody. And if dog
IS caught running at large al a time when it should
Re confined. it is The owner and not the animal
who should be punished, and fair trial should
always DC had. Our methcd of handling the dog
question IS a disgrace to the humane sentiment of
the country and trayesty upon police control.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1921-06-01
As Others See Ii
TIE MOVIES FATE
IN any one term.
cSt. Petersburg Times.)

What is to become OF the movies? They are
Thriving mover before. Motion picture theaters
have become palaces. with lavish decoration, huge
seating capacity. luxurious tea rooms and spacious
lounges, lays the st. Augustine Record. One of
the recent ones OF supcrlatiye dimensions has even
installed house physician and trained nurse.
Along with this booming prosperity there has
risen also more severe criticism than heretofore.
Although il is recognized that most of the formal
censorship attempted to date has been ridiculous
and ineffective. there is still demand for some
sort OF censorship the part of either the movie
makers or the public itself. The General Fedora
ton OF Womcns clubs is urging affiliated local
clubs to appoint motion picture chairmen. in an
women to voice their approval of good pictures
well their dsapproval of bad ones The
says:
This is form of local, democratic censorship
that should appear to everyone, because each one
can feel that he or she is having part in the
great WORK Of making motion pictures contribute
to -Ao better side Of the nations life. With
names wake to their opportunities, the women
vii; discover that they can make motion pictures
q vital force in character and nation-building"
Certainly motion picture entertainments are
now housed aytrIyagantly and out of all proper
ton to lheir recreational or educational value
When the public ceases to be awed by marvellous
lighting effects gorgeously adorned Hobbies and
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1921-06-01
(3y George BiD2hAm.l

Lake Mathcwsla. who hasn't held
al unduly long conversation since
prohibition set in. was seen out be-
hind the corn crib this morning rims
ing the spider webs out OF his jug.
Eilick He!Wanger surprised the Dog
Hill preacher and his many friends
last Sunday morning by going to
church. When he entered the con-
gregation looked around and appear
cd surprised, as Ellick is considered
sinner and they wondered what he
was doing there.
Wash Hooks says it looks to him
like some persons try to save up all
their money to spend after they are
dead.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1921-06-01

victons even though we believe them to be mistaken
But in the final analysis we are all imbued with
the one splendid idea that nothing is too good
for Lakeland and that especially in educational
matters our children must be cared for, their COM
fort and health assured and the very best faci-
tics afforded so that they may the better be trained
for the duties Ct life which we older folks must
before many years, lay aside.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1921-06-01

Ambassador George Harvey is offering prize
OF twenty-five pounds for the best essay on the
American constitution written by London under
graduate. This could hardly be called going to
original sources for information, but the prize essay
IS almost sure 10 tell more about the constitution
that G. O. y. congress will put into practice
in any one term.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1921-06-01

TIE League OF Nations is considering the adj
Visibility Of selecting city for permanent meet
ing l!acc, which will become sort CT world cap
itai Florida has numerous towns, excellent golf
courses and practically all the accessories Of diplo-
maize service except such as are easily procurable
from Flayan or Bimin Some strong arguments
ccuid he made in favor CT investigating their adj
,aniages hclcrc going elsewhere.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1921-06-01
THE THINKER

CBerton Braley.D
Back of the beating hammer
BY which the steel is wrought,
Back of the workshops clamor
The seeker may find the thought
The thought that is ever master
OF iron and steam and steel
That rises above disaster
And trampIes it under its heel
The drudge may fret and tinker
Or labor with lusty blows.
But back of him stands the thinker.
The cleareycd man who knows;
Fo: into each pillow or sabcr,
Each piece and part anu whole
Must go the brains of labor
Which gives the work soul.
Back of the motors humming,
Back of the belts that sing
Back of the hammers drumming,
Back of the cranes that swing,
There is an eye which scans them,
Watching through stress and strain,
There is mind which plans them
Back of the Drawn, the brain!
Might of the roaring boiler.
Force Of the engines thrust
Strength of the sweating toiler
Greatly in these we trust
But back of them stands the schemcr,
The thinker who drives things through;
Back of the job--the dreamer
Who's making the dream come true!
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1921-06-01

luxurously decorated interiors it may turn
critical eye upon the screen itself, and the real
censorship will begin. The movie no doubt has
proper place in modern life whether or not it is
in that place now. There is little to be gained
from condemring it wholly from praising it
unduly Give it time and it will react to public
demand fast public taste develops sanely
ana whoesomely.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1921-06-01
TEDIOUS TOPICS


There many cheerful matters of which
man may talk and sing, | wonder why fellow
chatters about the grim and grisy thing. wan
der daily by the ocean, the wondrous ocean, vast
and blue; it fills me with high emotion, | want
to talk about the view. And there are always PEG
pie sitting chairs and benches near the shore:
old ladies with their endless knitting old gents
who find this life bore. And they inhale the
salty breezes and they experience no thrills they
talk all day of their diseases, of warts and corns
and liver pills. turn to them at times, and thun-
der, Forget your ringbones for a day! Admire
with me this glowing wonder this sea that rolls
from far Cathay. Oh. think of distant isles of
coral, of lofty palm and banyan tree To talk of
goitre is immoral when you behold this shining
sea-" They look at me with grins sarcastic and
talk again of purple pills; they speak of opera
tons drastic they've undergone for divers ills
have my share of dread diseases, they all are
fatal, more or less; but when breathe the ocean
breeZes forgotten is my forms distress When
Ocean, busy as beaver, chants forth its pean
grand and rich, cannot think of chiIls and fever
of govt and mumps and BARRIERS itch
The Fayette falcon. (Somerville, Tenn.) 190?-current, 1921-10-14
ENDORSED At HOME
Such Proof as This Should
Convince any Somerille
Citizen

The public endorsement Of local
citizen is the best proof that can be
produced. None better. none stronger
can be had. When a man comes for
ward and testifies tohis fellow citizens.
addresses bic friends and neighbors,
you may be sure he 10 throughly con-
WINGED or he would not do so. Telling
ones experience when 1t 10 for the
public good is an act of kindness that
should be appreciated. The following
statement given by 8 resident of
SomervilIe adds one more to the many
cases Of Home Endorsement which are
being published about Doan's Kidney
Pills. Read It.
w. H. Leach, Sr., merchant, s.
Main ST., Somerville, says: Il had an
attack Of the grip, and / think 1t left
my kidneys weak. | suffered from
attacks .of backache and the trouble
was always worse in cold weather. !
also had dizzy spells. | was advised
to try Doan's Kidney Pills. and got a
box. and began to use them. 1t didn't
take Doan's long to entirely cure me
and | gladly recommend them"
Price Soc. ct oil dealers. Don't simply
ask for kidney remedy-get Doan's
Kidney Pills-the same that Mr.. Leach
had. Foster Milburn Co.. Mfgs.
Adv.
The Fayette falcon. (Somerville, Tenn.) 190?-current, 1921-10-14
craddock Book Club

One Of the seasons most enjoyable
entertainments was that Of Mrs. Sidney
Wilson at Der beautiful country home
north of town. The house was most
4rtisticalIy decorated 10 autumn coIors.
Rock and 800" we're enjoyed through
out the afternoon and those lucky in
winning prizes were Mrs. John Haver-
camp. Miss Pauline Lipsky. Adelicious
salad course was served and the guests
departed at q late hour to meet again
on October 25th, at 2;SO with Mrs. Jim
Reames at warren. &C"
The Fayette falcon. (Somerville, Tenn.) 190?-current, 1921-10-14
HOw's Your Appetite !!
When Stomach Distesses You, Take
This Advice

Newport, Ky. = about three years
ago | had become all rundown in health.
! had poor appetite and suffered with in
digestion and severe headaches. The
main trouble appeared to be my stomach.
l was advised TO get DR.. Pierce's Golden
Medical Discovery, and / did SO, and be-
fore had taken half dozen bottles
was well as ever and have had no stom-
ach trouble since. Mrs. Ida Sayers,
52S Elm st.
You can quickly put yourself in AL
condition by obtaining DR.. Pierce's Gold
en- Medical Discovery in tablets or liquid,
or write DIR. Pierce, president Invalids
Hotel in Buffalo, N. Y, for free con.
6dentialmedical advice.
The Fayette falcon. (Somerville, Tenn.) 190?-current, 1921-10-14

W. 7. Farley ct al. In the County
vs.. Court Of Fsyetle
John B. srley ct al J County Tennessee

w. 1. feftef CT II. IN tue county
vs.. Court Of Fsyetfe
John B. / ariey ct al. J County Tennessee
In lbe shove styled cause. it appear
ing from the petition which issworn TO.
that the defendant, Lottie jenkins, is
q non-resident Of the State Of Tenns ssee,
and that the place Of her residence lie
unknown AMI after diIigent search and
inquiry can not be ascsrtsined. it lie.
therefore. hereby ordered that she be
required to appear before the Ccuaty
Court at the Courthouse in SomerviIl.,
Tennessee, or, CT before the Let Mon
day in December, 1921, next, and make
defense to the petition filed against her
and others in the shove styled cause. or
the petition will be taken as confessed
% to her and this cause set for hearing
expsrle.
Il is further ordered that this notice
be published for four consecutive
" seks 10 the Fsyeite Falcon. . news
payer poblisbedin SOmervill.. Ten
nsssee. ia
This October lih,, 1921.
c. W. CRAWFORD. Clerk.
Il. c. hooRzAs and soE, sol's
The Fayette falcon. (Somerville, Tenn.) 190?-current, 1921-10-14
Chamberlain Cough Rene
dy

This remedy lie intended especially for
coughs, coIdp, Group and whooping cough.
From small beginning It's sale and use
has extended to oil parts of the United
States and to many foreign countries.
This alone is enough to convince one
that it is a medicine of more than ordi-
nary merit. Give 1t trial and you will
find this to be the case. adv
The Fayette falcon. (Somerville, Tenn.) 190?-current, 1921-10-14
indigestion, BiIIOusness, Con.
stipation

Chamberlain's Tablets have restored
to health and happiness hundreds who
were afflicted with Indigestion. billiouss-
ness and constipation. II ysu are troub
led in this way give them trial. You
are certain to be pleased fOr:they will
b .nefit. YOU. adv
The Democratic banner. (Mt. Vernon, Ohio) 1898-192?, 1921-02-15
KNOX Co. PEOPLE
ASKED TO ASSIST
Mt. Vernon Over Top In The
Drive, But Nearly $4,000
Is Needed In County

Knox county is urged to come
across in big way in the European
relief canvass for funds. A fine start
for the goal of $4,000 was completed
Thursday when Mt. Vernon went over
the top for more than $1,000, leaving
less than $4,000 to be raised in the
rural sections.
Country roads are very bad, and the
heavy snow this morning will make
the continuation of the rural canvass
almost impossible. The farmers are
urged to send in their contributions
by mail, addressing their letters to
Secretary Hoy l.. Russell, Chamber of
Commerce. He will see that each
person Is properly credited, and that
the money reaches the treasurer of
the relief.
Yesterday afternoon many people of
the city who did not contribute to the
canvassers left their money at the
chamber. Hardly man or woman
who loves the kiddies can keep from
making small contribution to this
cause. 1t is the most humane of all
the canvasses ever made in the United
States, and the money will mean real
"eats" for 100000 small children.
The Democratic banner. (Mt. Vernon, Ohio) 1898-192?, 1921-02-15
||IVEWlEAsE SENT
TO CLEVELAND, 0.

The second and corrected lease for
the Bagle mill property, West Vine
street, for the factory of Rich.Samp-
linr Knitting Co. OF Cleveland, was
sent to Cleveland yesterday for the
signatures Of company officials
The new Industries committee feels
this lease will meet the entire approx
al OF the Cleveland parties, and that
dn a few days everything will be in
shape for the repair work to com,
mence. Arrangements are being made
30 that two rooms of the factory can
be finished by the first OF March.
The Democratic banner. (Mt. Vernon, Ohio) 1898-192?, 1921-02-15
v. c. /. U. MEETING
FRANCES WILLARD
(By Press Renorterl


Frances Willard w. C. T. u. met on
Tuesday afternoon in the community
rooms with large attendance. The
president, Mrs. Walker, led thY devo-
tionals. reading from Mark 13, and
Mrs. Porter prayed.
A food sale is to be held Saturday
Feb. 12.
The program by Mrs. Gilmore was
In commemoration of Frances f. Will
lard.
Mrs. Merriman told of her attitude
toward all good things in her day, and
asked, What attitude would she take
now toward thla many perplexing ques-
tions Of today?" Every true white
ribboner looks to Frances Willard as
an example of service lovingly given.
Mrs. Porter told of the blessedness
OF receiving. Though she gave large
ly Of herself and her means, she was
always ready and willing to be taugh
by even the poorest and humble.
There were two papers on the Will
lard Memorial Fund by Mrs. Cunning
ham and Mrs. Moore, a fund used to
perpetuate the work for which she la