The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1921-11-02

men have had monopoly OF all
active love-making ever since
Adam told Eve she was II In the
Garden Of Eden, they do II yers
They balk at the critical moment
They are tongue-tied when they
should be fluent They. choose the
wrong time and place. and general
ly bungle the situation. They out
rage the artistic proprieties They
sit down. and squash the halo OF
romance that a woman has woven
about the AFFAIR.
Every woman has dreamed OF
being wooed in lovely Booth Tlrk-
ington language. and of being able
to treasure the memory OF her pro-
posaI to her dying day, but when
the timel comes the man shoves a
commonplace question at her in a
commonplace way. and IL shatters
the ideals OF lifetime.
When the average man asks |.
girl to marry him she bursts into
tears He thinks she is weeping
with Joy at getting such a good
thing as he is. In reality, she Is
crying with disappointment at the
why he did IT, She had expected
to be able ito tell her grand-chil-
dren how grandpa proposed, but
well. one of the secrets that nu
woman ever tells Is what her hus-
band said when he really popped
the question.
OF course, women are generally
glad enough to get a proposal on
any terms, but there Is a difference
In having the thing you want ten
dered to you on a silver salvar, and
being slugged with IL. Later on, you
may be very grateful for the gift.
After you get over your, bruises.
The reason that women crowd
the theaters and the movies is TO
see love- making properly done, as
II seldom H. IN real life.
But how do men propose? Each
In his own individual way But
there are certain standard types
that every woman knows
There's the man who pops the
question in the confessional He
assumes that you are just dying
to make a Keely cure of yourself.
and that you feel you have a gen
eral call to be a sort Of reformatory.
So he begins by telling you the
dark story OF his life, and how
wicked he has been, and begs you
to be his good angel and save him.
The bashful man proposes sud
denly, and when you least expect
It. He doesn't waste a word lead
ing up to the subject because he
has screwed his courage up to the
speaking point, and he dare not
loosen his strangle hold.
He catches his breath, and takes
the plunge as il he were jumping
into a sea of ice, and didn't know.
or care, whether he ever came up
or not.
The business man gives you a
good dinner of roast beef and pota-
toes, and across the lemon pie tells
you how much he cleared in the
grocery trade last year. and asks
you how you would like TO 60 into
a life partnership with him.
The egotistical man proposes in
n way that seems TO say: Il know
am too good for you. but / feel
sure that you will devote your life
to trying to repay me for the sac
rifice make in marrying you"
The widower, poor boob, invari-
ably tells you that you remind
him so of his dear, dead Maria, and
he never has enough sense TO per-
ceive that there is no one in the
a woman wouldn't rather resemble
than the first wife Of the man with
whom she is in love.
Sometimes he even tells you that
Maria picked you out as her sue
cessor and when he does, IL takes
all the philosophy and self-control
of which a woman is capable to
prevent her saying, NO" no mat
ter how much she really wants the
man, for no woman likes to be re-
minded that another woman left
her her old shoes.
No. men certainly are dubs at
popping the question. They GER
tainly do need TO improve their
game. and considering that every
man has proposed once. and most
men a number of times, il does
look as IL they should either play
better ball or give women a show
at the bat.