Every evening, Wilmington daily commercial., 1921-02-18
THE SOFT ANSWER.

The pretty yourg girl who waits on me
1t q little restaurant frequent WAS very
hnuch perturhed Red spots of excitement
burned on her cheeks. Her eyes were fuii
u unshcd tears. Her hands shook as she
nut my food before me.
Whist Is the matterf" asked.
"Oh." she said, her voice trembling
sith passion, ~ have just had run-ln
Nth tho head waitress. was late this
pprninQ and in hurry, and got another
uirl's apron, and she bawled me out about
4. | didn't take anything of ber, and
bold her some things she won't forget IN
hurry Wouldn't your
MOI said, 81 should have said some
thing to her that would have MADE nef
feel so small, and cheap and unladyllkc'
that it would have made her sorry she
spoke 10 me as she did. N
Gee" exclaimed the girl hopduiiy'
what would you have said to her "Ilc'
she got after you about thing that was
m accident, that might have happe'e"
10 anybody who was in a hurry
Il should have told her, | said, tha'
tlkncw she had perfect right to scoid me
for NV carelessness in making the nus
take and that was sorry for II, ana ''lal
Iwouldn't let 1t happen again
The girl thought moment, and then
ehe said gravely, 'NWell guess that would
have held her for q while Scrappy thm9
che is Always looking for fight
'cRight-o,' | replied The soft answer
mot only turns away wrath, but nothing
e]se leaves your enemy so completely at a
disadvantage There's nothing moro that
you can say to those who admit their
kaults. and regret them
lust try it the next time anyone assails
lyou, and see how foolish 1t makes them
Heel and look They could match tempers
with YOU They could pit anger against
hanger and hurl invectives and abuse,
perhaps with reader thought and q
Ideadler aim shan you can, but they are
helpless before you when you are master
kf YOUR own temper, when YOU oppose
khcIr force with gentleness and when you
hneet their coarse abuse with the restrained
kpeech of lady.
| Somehow the soft answer always puts
,she angry one into the wrong. You may
nchly deserve the scolding you are getting,
but / { YOU will meekly accept the blame
Ehst is YOUR due, and not furiously justify
yourself, YOU will invariably find that the
attended one begins to backwater, and
ends up BY making more excuses for you
khan you would hsve dared to offer your
lOrlf
There is nothing else m the world SO
rtrue as that il takes two 20 make a quarrel
Somebody must add fuel to the FIRE OF your
.sngcr, or else it goes out. II takes the
salesh of antagonIstic points OF view 10
make An argument interesting enough 70
60 on with. You can't put any pep into
sour abuse of an individual who admits the
lustice OF your criticism, and asks your
ndvice about how 20 profit by your
perlor wisdom And here Is where the
soft answer gets in It's fine work. You can
liyht those who fight you. You can curse
chose who curse you. You can get even
with those who do YOU bad trick. But
YOU are helpless before those who are
gentle, and reasonable, and anxious not
t. offend you All YOU can do is to be
ashamed of yourself. and be good friends
eith them.
Haven't you seen things like this7 An
angry customer comes charging into a
shop, claiming that she has been robbed,
and the wrong goods sent TO her, and that
she is going 70 sue for damages and never
buy ulckels worth in that store again
h ong rs she lives One of two things
happens She gets hold of clerk who
meets her abuse with abuse, and tells her
that she IS q welcher who buys one thing
Rnd wants 70 bring it back and exchange
IL for netting else, and that she is
hsr and a tight-wad, and the store doesn't
Naut such trade as hers. and the woman
sncS away angrier than ever and the store
makes an enemy and loses patron.
Our he furious woman IS taken in hand
pV a clerk who returns a soft answer. aud
assures her that if fany mistake was made.
The store is more than glad 70 remedy il.
snd that IL regrets any inconvenience she
has been put 70, snd desires above every
thing to keep her trade, and the woman s
wrath sizzles out like s spent sby-rocket.
snd she remains TO buy, and is forever
afterwards the stores best advertisement
Of the shop, as place there they always
treat YOU fairly.
And do you not recall neighbors 70
whom you went 20 quarrel about their
bhickens getting into your garden, and
snded up hv helping 70 build q good
fence. and with whom you were like
brothers and sisters ever after. becaus,
they said you were right and il was per
tectly outrageous for people to keep
chickens in a suburb, but their little Dolly
vas so fond of her hens?
And what business man has not en-
pioyes whom ne has been on the point OF
6rng for ten years, but never does be-
pause they alwsys receive his wrath with
o1eek apology for their shortcomings, in
btead OF telling him that they do quite as
good work as they are paid for?
There isn't any family spat that osn't
be strangled st birth with q few gentle
words, and there is no argument that
cant be stopped at its very beginning
with the simple, Perhaps you are right
Which commits you to no agreement
.but leaves you perfectly neutral on the
subject. There Is no criticism that will
not become boomerang that turns and
slays the one who hurled it, if it is met bv /
the gentle admission that one is not per
feet and will try TO improve.
The soft answer is not only the wav TO
peace and prosperity. It's the most
scathng repartee, the hitterest arraign-
mcnt that human lips can utter, and the
most unanswerable argument Try il.