The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-11-13
AIDE
How a Humble Beginner
Moved From One Pinnacle
To Another
Humble



etors to get his Fins-Cut. Some
times. when he was far enough from
Home. those who met him and heard
him called Judge thought that he
was on the Supreme Bench.
In the course of Time he exper-
fenced an inward Craving for q
Political Job. 20 he began to stump
around In the Interests of the
Machine. He drove out to District
school-Houss with the American
Eagle seated on tlSe Dashboard Of
his Busy. and when he got on the
Platform he waved Old Glory until
both Arms gave out All of which
went to prove that the Machine
should DO kept In Power. After he
had been spell-binding forSa couple
Of Seasons. Job Printer conferred
upon him the Title Of Honorable.
Every time there was q Gabfest then
the Hon. James Henry Gum showed
up with his Voice in q Shawl-Strap
and also a fine Assortment of
Platitudes. When the Congressman
wrote to him and asked him to get
the Swasey County Delegates into
Line, he always addressed his let
ter to the Hon. James Henry Cuff
and in tho Course Of time. Cuff be-
gan to believe II.
A pr.-uder Distinction awaited
him. In view Of the fact that he
had plugged for the Regular Organ
ization and delivered the Gods at the
State Convention: he was made
Colonel on the Governors Staff. 1t
In the Duty Of a Colonel on the
Governors Staff to ride In a Pull
man Car and take Shot in the Arm
whenever he can get 1t.
Colonel Guff was a Dream when
he got into his $275 Uniform with
the Gold Braid rugged all over the
Front. He wore a Chapeau similar
to the one worn by Napoleon at
Austerlitx. but he had on top of. 1t
seven Tail Feathers of the Loo-Loo
Bird. which rather laid over any
thing that Napoleon ever owned.
And when Col. James Henry Cuff,
In his magnificent Regalia and
smoking q ten-cent Segar. leaned
back In an Open Cab and allowed
the People to gaze at him, the
Grandeur Of the Spectacle made one
forget the real Horrors Of War.
Many Of tho ardent Admirers Of
Prof. Cuff. and Capt. Cuff. and
Judge Cuff. and Col. Cuff, believed
that he had climbed to the Summit
Of Greatness when he appeared In
his S42 Plume Not 80. One year
the State Militia was to have an En-
campment and tho Governor gave
Col. James Henry Cuff the Job OF
buying all the Beans. Fresh Beef,
and other Supplies. because there
promised to be some pickings on
the Side. Officially he was known
A. the Commissary- General.
Thus It came about that after
Years Of Endeavor. James Henry
Cuff. who left the Post a poor and
unknown Lad. crossed the Wire as
q real General.
When his Daughters went away
to Boarding School and were intro
duced az tho Offspring Of Gen.
James H. Cuff they assumed a
Social Leadership. Gen. Cuff led
the Grand March ut q great many
Military Balls.
At q Banquet costing So per Plate
he sat at the Right Of the Chairman,
wearing Medals which had been pre-
ssnted to him by the 9TH Ward
Marching Club.
In his address he always defended
the Soldier and protested against
hauling down tho Flag at any Time
or Place.
II the Government adopted . new
Machine Gun; all the Reporters went
over and interviewed Gen. James
Henry Cuff about It. He wrote a
Magazine Article on Why the First
Battle Of the Marns turned out as
It did.
When he died. the Funeral Process
sion was three miles long. The
Family had to erect two Marble
Shafts 80 ~ to find Room for all
OF his Titles.
MoRAL-True Democracy scorne a
Title unless 1t has q real Sig
nificance.
Copyright. 1891. by Bell Syndicate. Ino.)
)f Vera Cruz BRINGS ON