The Washington herald., 1921-05-08
An Q. Henry Story
SEATS OF THE NAUGHTY.

II q
~ to us across the Indian Ocean.
Dusky kings and princes have found
out our Bombay of the West and
few be their trails that do not lead
down Broadway on their journey
for to admire and for to see-
II chance should ever lead you
near a hotel that transiently shell
ters some one of these splendid
touring grandees. / counsel you to
seek Lucullus Polk among the Re-
publican tuft-hunters that besiege
its entrances. He will be there You
will know him by his red. alert,
wellington-nosed face. by his man
ner of nervous caution mingled with
determination. by his assumed pro-
moter's or brokers' air of busy i'm
patience, and by his bright-red
necktfe, calamity redressing the
wrongs of his maltreated blue serge
suit. like q battle standard still
waving above q lost cause. found
Z him profitable and SO may you.
When you do look for him. look
among the light-horse troop of Bed
bufns that besiese tho picket-line
Of the travelling potentate's guards
and secretxries-among the Wild
eyed genti of Arabian Aftsrnoons
egrsgtous demands upon the princes
Golfers
1 frst saw Mr.. Polk coming down
the steps of the hotel at which So
journed HIS Hghness the Gaekwar
of Baroda- most enlightened of the
Mahratta princes, who, of late, ate
bread and salt in our Metropolis OF
the Occident-
Lucullus moved rapidly, as though
propelled by some potent moral force
that imminently threatened to be-
come physical Behind him closely
followed the mtpetus-a hotel detec-
tive, IL ever white Alpine hat.
hawks nose, implacable watch
chain, and loud refinement of
manner spoke the truth. A brace
Of uniformed porters at his heels
preserved the smooth decorum of the
hotel. repudiating by their air Of
disengagement any suspicion that
they formed a reserve squad of
ejectment
Safe on the sidewalks. LucuIlus
Polk. turned and shook a freckled
nst At the caravansary. And, to my
Joy, he began to breathe deep invec-
tive in strange words:
"Rides in howdahs, does heT" he
cried loudly and sneeringly. Rides
on elephants in howdahs and calls
himself prince! Kings s. yah!
Comes over here and talks horse
till you would think he was a pres
ident; and then goes home and rides
in q private dining-room strapped
onto an elephant Well, well, well!
The ejecting committee quietly
retired The scorner of princes
turned to me and snapped mis-
fingers
what do you think of thatT' he
shouted derisiyely The Gaekwar
~ Rsroda rides on an elephant in
4 a howdah! And there's old Bikram
tShamsher Jang scorching up and
down the pig-paths of Khatmandu
on motorcycle. wouldn't that
naharajah you? And the Shah OF
Persia, that ought to have been
Muley-on-the-spot for at least
three, he's got the palanquin habit
And that funny-hat prince from
Korea-wouldn't you think he could
AFFORD to amble around on q milk
white palfrey once in a dynasty or
two? Nothing doing! His idea OF
a Balaklava charge is to tuck mis-
skirts under him and do his mile
In six days over the hog-wallows oil
Seoul in q buIlcart That's the kind
of visiting potentates that come to
this country now. It's hard deal
friend"
murnured a few words of SYM
uathy. But il was. uncomprehend-
ing, for / did not know his grieV-
ance against the rulers who flash
meteorlike, now and then upon our
shores
The last one 1 Sold" continued
the displeased one, was to tna'
three-horse-tailed Turkish pashs
that came over a year ago FIVE
hundred dollars he paid for 1t, easy
I saws to his executioner or secre'
tary-he was a kind of a Jew or :
Chfnaman - His Turkey Gielets !:
fond of horses. them
"HimT says the secretary. well
no. He's got a big, fat wife In the
harem named Bad Dora that he dom
like. I believe he intends to saddle
her up and ride her up and down the
boardwalk In the Bulbul Gardens
few times every day. You haven
got a pair of extra long spurs yol
could throw In on the deal, nav
your Yes, sir, there's mighty feV
real roughriders among the roya
sports these days"
As soon as Lncullus Polk got coo
enough 1 picked him up, and viii
no greater effort than you woult
employ in persuading a drownint
man to clutch a straw, invetglet
him into accompanying me to coo
corner in a dim cafe.
And 1t came to pass that men
servants set before us brewage
and LucuIlus Polk spake unto me
relating the wherefores Of his be
Ieaguering the antechambers Of the
princes Of the earth
Did you ever hear of the s. A. 4
A P. Railroad in Texas? Well. tina
don't stand for Samaritan Actors
Aid Philanthropy. I was down tha
way managing a summer bunch o
the gum and ,syntax-chewers tina
play the Idlewild Parks in tn,
Western hamlets. OF course, W
went to pieces when the soubrettI
ran away with a prominent bsrbe
Of Beeville. I don't know what be
came of the rest Of the company
I believe there were some salarie
due; and the last saw Of the troup'
was when I told them that forty
three cents was all the treasury con
tained. say I never saw any o
them after that: but / heard then
for about twenty minutes. / didn'
have. time to look back. But afte
dafk-I came out Of the woods an
/ struck the s. A. & A. p. agent 70
means of transportation. He a
once extended to me the courtesie
nf the entire railroad. kindly warn
fner me, however, not to get aboar
any Of the rolling stock.
About ten the next morning