The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1921-08-12
Why the Correspondent Barricaded Himself
in the Basement.

WHILE prizes are beingsawarded perhap
we'd better give the Monmouth Atlas honorable
mention among the Oddities in Orthoeraph-
contestants for sculptures.
Special Correspondence From Lake
Arthur, \. NJ.
Woke up at $50 a. m. ON. IT, Nice anC
cool; no mosquito looking for US during thc
night Air is Just grand. Took T. L. w
LIKES t. D. m. S. out to see the Captain anC
White mountains, 40 and 100 miles away. Thi:
! Is the place for a man like you Mac; where
as Brisbane said the other day. you want tc
reach up and touch the sky. Am also going
! to neglect church Sunday (none here-Presbv.
terrain, mean to go fishing trip to Lake
wood, n. M.-not in fivvers but in Mitchells.
| c. F. N
| BRISBANE is talking to somebody else not
us. We have no hankering to reach up and
touch the sky. We have difficulty enough as
| it is keeping our clay feet in familiar sur
rOundings.
Two Jumps Ahead Of the Sheriff. as -Twere.
[Lewistown Corr. Peoria Start
Last week Mrs. Ira Jump of Ellisvills
came to the county seat with a pair of
black eyes and complained that her hus-
band was responsible. warrant was
placed in Deputy Sheriff j. H. Watts
hands for the husband when he reached
Ellisville the wife informed him that the
trouble had been patched up and she
would not have her man arrested.
FAMOUS Iowa War Hero Will Marry Bank
er's Observation-Disclosures Journal.
Huh; it doesn't take hero to do that
~Now, Watson, You Must Never jump to
Conclusion,
LRoscoe Corr, Rockford Register-Gazette
The Congregational Sunday school
Will hold its annual picnic SATURDAY. at
the Hobart lodges All those who have
no means Of going to the outing grounds
should meet at the church at II O'Clock
Each child should bring dishes and sand
wiches to pass.
SHERIFF Males and Aids War on Spoon
ers'-Evansville Ind.) Journal
That headline puzzled u.s. too, until we
decided the sheriff's name was Males
AT this point the colyumist believes. all
though he is not sure, that he has reached an
lmpasse Mayhap 'twere best to consult Friend
Noah, that we may know exactly what an i'm
passe is; then we shall know whether we have
reached one
"1mpasse, n. III An impossible road
or way; blind alley; cul-de-sac: fig.
position or predicament affording no escape
Yes, unquestionably we have reached an
mpasse. We vision several inches of colyum
space which we are expected to fill. With what
pray? But you should worry, we hear Won
say. That's our job, not yours. But you read
his colyum hoping to be amused, do you not
Now here is an idea that may not have oc-
CURED to you. One can get no more amuse-
nent or greater thrill than by reading ones
OWN compositions in print-for time at least;
1Hlll the novelty wears on. If find a
homeless wheeZe don't heartlessly pass it by |
put pick IT up, brush it OF a bit and send to
is. You've no idea how much better reading |
he colyum will seem the evening it appears,
AS for poetry-well our critic friend declares
We write too dam much of that already; near !
poetry, that is. Verbum sap
FROM the Aledo Democrat we learn thar !
dr and Mrs. Clarence Morrow of Jov wei
,omed baby boy at their home Monday morn |
l ng' -. What about it? Nothing, nothing at
Ill But suppose it had been written thus:
Mr.. and Mrs. Clarence Morrow Of low re-
'ret the birth OF baby boy at their home
Monday morning" :
We merely wonder why recorders of such
vents find it necessary TO say the child is
welcome They usually are but even when
ney're not the reporter says the same thing.
FRIEND RIO complains she has no Tina 70
omment upon the item in the Blue Island ma
yer that Jas Jackess has returned to work
rom two weeks vacation" No comment is
eeded. Why paint the lily? Or daub an i'm
lortal with printers ink?
Wife" ->utse 1of
That's what Warren gets for printing y m.
- :" @40 0aiioa StaS. R E MIG. Q