davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1921-07-19
We TOWNE GOSSIP
REGISTERED u. s. Pat
BY K. c. B.

Dear X. C. B.---We stood for the Allies
lying down on their war debt and the inter-
est, and we kneeled for the starving women
and children in Ireland, and just when De
Valera and Lloyd George are about to shake
hands and call 1t day, the Universal Service
cablsd me that our lookout guy" Ambassa-
dor Harvey, had created furore at the ex-
elusive Hsngerhill Club by Ga golfing" in his
shirt sleeves. This is too much, in fact, the
last stray on my double hump. Were my
poor father alive know this horrible breach
Of etiquette would cause him to throw down
his pick in disgust
As one of the five million loafers in the
United States, 1 want to ask of you, the
Great American Fixer, if you can arrange to
have Gink Fowler storm Castle Harvey and
throw this terrible person Harvey into the
street before he breaks my heart.
p. JAY
The Washington times., 1921-07-19
An Odd Divided Citu
m HE CITY OF WALK is situated on the border between
the countries of Esthouia and Latxia The boundary

the countries OF EsthOnla and Latvia The boundary
between the two countries through the town.
1t presents striking illustration Of the peculiar harm
that is done in the world because selfish politics has
to do with government than consideration for human well
fare.
The north half of the town is in Esthonia and the
southern half in Latvia the dividing line being double
barbed wire fence which through the center of the
city Between these two fences is strip of ''No Mans
Land which belongs to neither country because it is
filed with barbed wire and neither country wants it.
If you would go from part Of Walk to the other
must pass through the usual custom ormaes
sary to all national boundaries Your passport must be
examined and registered, your baggage searched and
you must pay the prescribed duty. After 7 D. M the
boundary gates closed and you cannot get from one
part of the town to the other at ALL
Furthermore, in Latvian Walk the rlble is used for
money and in Esthonian Walk the mark is used: The
currences do not have the value The rate of ex
change varies continually.
Both countries claim the City of Walk Before the
present boundary established by an allied commission
the entire city in the hands of Esthona The present
division made to enable both countries to benefit from
the railroad junction which centers in the city,
"A gentleman up a tree might ask why in the world
representatives of the two countries could get together
and settle this matter to their mutual satisfaction At
least in city called Walk citizen should be able to
walk from side to the other.
And the reason, of course is that the city is not
governed for the benefit Of its citizens any more than
Eshonia and Latva governed for the benefit of the
citizens in the respective countries They are governed
by politicians and for politicians.
And it is not strange and outlandsh tale but has
its parallel in plenty.
Most of the evils of states from the fact that the
people do not know how to govern themselves and
unwilling to take the trouble to govern themselves but turn
the whole matter over to the hands of organized politicians
The Washington times., 1921-07-19
\
William Anterior Du Puy-

Three four years ago the representatives Of
the oil producers Of Oklahoma were sitting about
the table with representative OF the Standard
OIL Company discussing the fact that that com.
cents gallon for their crude Oil.
The price OF your product. said the standard
on man. rs sovsrned BY but one thins the law
as the law Of gravitation."
John William HArreld now United States
Senator was an oil producer ana present at this
THE law Of gravitaton." Mr.. Harreid argued.
can be overcome and 10 can the law OF supply
sravitation magnet may ovsrconns this great
law. In the case of oil, also, the great law II
overcome by An influence which IL but slightly
different, In its spelling at least, from that used
in clipping the string Of sravitation. In this
it II the 'mAgnate' who intsrferss."
Of the United States Senate. lost his father when
he was five and his mother shortly afterward
no he worked first in q lanyard. later in . brick.
yard, and still later as the propeliins force OF h
pushcart which delivered groceries.
80 he takes very human interest in young.
sters and likes to deliver to graduating classes
lecture intelligent selfasertion.
IN this lecture he tells OF the small boy who
was asked how he would punctuats the sentence
The boy replied that he was In favor Of Dash
after Mary.
DR.. Hugh NJ Smith, Of the Bureau of Fisheries
one Of those scientists, who devotss his life to
Government service, was giving me 4 iesson IN
natural history with the whale the subject
He was showing me the raw material from which
whalebone IL made The exhibit was q fiat sort Of
thing more like the stem to a palm leaf than
anything can think Of. but 1t nine feet long,
and all raveled out along one edge until II had
long streamers OF shreds.
He told me that whalebone ala not come from
the animals ribs as / had thought, hut grew
down from the roof Of It's mouth. There was a
perfect jungle Of 1t there Az this the biggest Of
living creatures, swirns along through the ocean
a - and Uof froo Iy
through its private Jungle. The raveled fiber on
it's supply OF corset stays strains out the
infinitestnnal creatures Of the deep After q
Journey of few leagues with it's trap open. the
whale will have accumulated ton or of these
tiny creatures, will close the lid, suck its
Jungle like an old fashioned coffee drnksr does
his rn,istAche, and call II breakfast
The whaler who lands good specimen of this
monster gets about 5000 pounds Of this bone
from the roof Of its mouth. II sells at from 81
to IS. 80 the cleanup is quite worth while.
Copyright, 1871,
The Washington times., 1921-07-19
An Open Letter
Dear Lloyd.

Dear Lloyd:
WYE are glad to hear that you
wv are coming over to visit us.
We are also very sorry that
your friend, Lord Northcliffe, is
making such a fuss about your leav-
ing England.
When you get here--if you get
here-we will give you good time.
We will show you Niagara Falls
and the Chicago stockyards and
the Pittsburgh steel mills and the
New York subway during the rush
hours, and a lot of other interest
ing sights. You will be entertained
by those of our social leaders who
are not busy getting divorce. You
will see a baseball game, and, per-
haps, you will meet some Of our
judges who are not on a vacation.
But we would not like to see your
trip get you into trouble at home.
Keep in mind the sad fate Of your
friend, Woodrow. Square thing,
with Northcliffe before you leave
England. Anchor and double rivet
your job before you sail. Do not
give the gang chance to put the
kibosh on you while you are away.
Remember always the words of the
poet;
II stood on the bridge at midnight
And somebody moved the bridge"
Regards to the family.
THE AMERICAN PUBLIC.
The Washington times., 1921-07-19
AN REL MYSTERY.

How the baby cells which
push up the river from their
birthplace In the depths of
the ocean circumvent the
falls of the Rhine and even
Niagara Falls In q puzzle
science has 20 far been un-
able TO solve
The Washington times., 1921-07-19
Better Traffic LalUs Are
Badly Needed
BY BILL PRICE.

Senators sharply criticize traffic violations here
in their speeches failing to realize that the RESPONSE
by Is largely with Consrsss in failing to enact lesis-
laton that will reach traffic troubles
The traffic police and the courts have frightened
UP on traffic offenders and are going the limit within
existing laws Commissioner OYSTER is personally
directing the drive of the police against the speed
manacs, the drivers who are under the influence Of
whiskey and the reckless Of all types Little more can
be done until laws put upon the books providing
TRAFFIC COURT, whore one judge and one
set Of prosecuting ondcials are In . position to
keep in constant touch with offenders.
For Congress should understand that the two
regular police court judges are compelled to handle
wide range of cases, and are unable to concentrate
attention traffic offenders. The prosecuting officials
in the police court cannot neglect other work for raf
fc violations So 1t often happens that habual vio-
laors of traffic laws escape with light sentences, or
likely, by FORGETTING collateral without even going
to court.
There is no effective focusing Of attention upon
that class Of drivers who wfuly violate the laws and
expect to get off by FORGETTING collateral deposited in
police stations The driver may have been arrested
repeatedly in different parts Of the city His bad record
may be known in police precinct but other pre-
cncs do not have records to show his dangerous
denotes
The collateral method is the weak point Of present
conditions It has been urged that the laws should
prohibit deposit Of collateral except in minor cases,
requiring sufficient bond heavier collateral insurng
attendance in traffic court The Judge and officers of
this court including the traffic police, would soon have
complete records Of dangerous drivers and then they
could be dealt with by heavy sentences by the for
fixture of their licenses drivers The court records
would be available for the license Office in passing upon
applications for drivers permits.
The foregoing, with drastic regulations
ing the issue of drivers licenses in the matter Of age
moral character, SKILL eyesigh Of responsibility
to Others would enable the traffic situation in the
District to be properly controlled and rid Washington
of reckless, irresponsible persons who constantly
running down pedestrians and colding with other
vehicles.
The majority of serious auto accidents here occur
at night, when the joyr riders make their appearance
The drivers, rule, young men absolutely I'M
concerned to human life and rights, and who unhesi-
tatingly show off, with thought Of possible eonse-
quences The police wisely turn their special
ton to the night speeders
The Washington times., 1921-07-19
Stars and Stripes

mo More spoonins in Central Park."--HsAd-
line. .....
has been.
Brooklyn man whose car was stolen en-
planned that he didn't mind losing the car, but
he had just had twenty gallons OF gasoline put
In the tank
Maybe the reason the nrst rows are filled with
baidheads IL that they buy their tickets from the
scalperA
The Washington times., 1921-07-19
7 UNTIL a brief time ago Amer
j leans took for granted that

0NI1L UTlel CllHo dSu AAtOA-
leans took for granted that
their reserves Of oil, like their
coal and their forests, were mex
haustible and gave no thought to
tomorrow.
We produced two-thirds Of the
worlds petroleum and had. an
abundance for ourselves and for
export. "CoAl oil'' at seven cents,
gasoline at eight cents a gallon
marked its low esteem.
Then came the gas.driven motor,
which changed the whole complex
ion Of things. It quickly absorbed
our slack, sending kerosene, gasoline
and other oil products kiting. It
also caused other peoples to scour
the earth for new sources Of supply.
Now We use with eagerness all
the petroleum available within our
borders and have keen need Of
more. We consume yearly 66,000,-
600 barrels more than We produce.
We Import about &c., 900 worth
Of crude oil and export $549, 000,-
900 worth Of petroleum products.
Glance briefly at some OF the
bearings Of pstroasum on our fu-
turs welfare
SO much superior q oil to coal ~
u fuel at sea that no coAl-burning
vessel can hope to compete with an
oil-burnar. This Is true alike a. to
warships and merchant ships.
The nation, therefore, which 50
cures tho future Of Ito oil supply
secures its safety from naval attack
and the ability Of ito peaceful com.
rneroe to compete on the seven seas.
To the United States, rich, indus
trious, capable Of supplying tho
needs Of It's own people and Of pro-
ducing also large surplus for ex-
port, but heretofore negligent OF
the means by which that export got
to market, these two considerations
are of extreme Importance.
They do not, however, end the
story of our dependence on oil. The
automobile industry, including &C.
cessory lines, is, next to agriculture,
our largest industry. Its base Is
oil. We have SO per cent OF the
worlds motor vehicles. They de-
pend on oil.
In transportation on land and in
the air as well as on sea, oil plays
a major, it not the commanding,
part. Already gas-driven motor
trucks haul half Of our internal
bulk and package freight. Per
haps the more valuable Of this, as
The Washington times., 1921-07-19

OH, yOU KIDD.

World 10 shaken TO its
RockAfsllsr foundations BY
rumors OF official pi-
rates IN Atlantic. That
makes ocean belong 10 us
again. Britannia claims II
during peace. Soon A.
trouble breaks out she
turns IL over to us.
Mysterious craft hss bAen
pipSd by reliable property
owners Outside OF three.
mile limit. Sober nAviga-
tors have seen II over
powerful slAsses. Some
times II looks like twins.
n pirates have hoisted
Jovial Roger on tall seas.
wealthy invalids can enjoy
healthy robbery with sea
air attached. Nobody
seems to know identity OF
burglar scow'
II can't Be flying Dutch.
man. He's In Holland.
-
May be Shamrock finish
Ing. last years cup race.
Or Modesty just comins
BACK from yeanu @
Might Do ooup.e Oh Lsm
ocrAts In minority rowOoet
seeking TO discrsoN ADMIN
istradon.
,,
can't be one OF e
Eagle boats or one Oh SNIP
skiffs that were TO span
Atlantic like rainoow, ihey
did span II IKE Ialnoow.
Appeared after ssorm ~
over.
49,
Might Do Lnree WISE
Men from Sotnam VINO
went to sea IN powI. II
DOWl nAu UcSu osiotSess
my story would have been
longer. No chance. Tnsre
Amt three wise men IN
Gotham.
Can't 500 what pirses
can xrao on ocean aftet
profitecrs are throusn WIN
US on LAND. well II u am
The Washington times., 1921-07-19
Tariff on Crude Oil a Step
TOlUard Economic Suicide

well as persons, will soon move
through the air. But not without
cheap and abundant oil.
If we trace through their ramifi-
cations the many other relationships
Of petroleum and its products to
national welfare, we discover that
its place 10 alongside coal and iron
ore among the indispensable gifts Of
nature to man. A prosperous future
without 1t is Uncomfortable.
Elemental prudence, therefore,
ought to suggest to the makers Of
our laws the wisdom Of conserving
our native oil supply by enoourag-
ing the importation of crude and
fuel oil from other lands.
Every barrel Of foreign oil that
comes in for processing here adds
to the employment Of American
labor and postpones the day when
our home supply will be exhausted.
It does not compete with the home
oil. It protects it and in the long
run adds to it's value.
The House Ways and Means Com
mittees proposal, in the Fordney
tariff BILL to levy a duty Of thirty
five cents q barrel on imported
crude Oil and twenty-five cents on
fuel oil IL, consequently, STUPID
LY SHORT SIGHTED. President
Harding characterized it mildly
when he wrote to Representative
Fordneys
81 eannst refrain fron sxpessslns The
hose thta your eommlttsS will take note
Of The fsfsisn policy to which we are
already eennittea under which the Gov.
srnnsns b dsins every. ss.sists.t thing
20 encourage the participates Of Amer.
leaa sisissns In the dsvslopmsnt Of oil
rsssursss ID many fersiSn hnae.
This eourss has bssa insPirsd BY the
growing concern Of our country over the
supply 81 essAs oil 20 which We may turn
fer eur future nssds, net sisas for eur
domestic ssmnsres, but n meeting the
needs Of our navy and our merchant
marine.
gro LEVY A PROTECTIVE TARIFF
ON CRUDE PETR OIL YIN NOW
WOULD BE At VARIANCE WITH
ALL THAT HAS BEEN DONE TO
SAFEGUARD OUR FUTURE INTER
EST. can readily recognise the claim
Of ssns Of the oil predasers for . pre-.
tsctivs tariff on their product, bat sach
course Of temporary relief would Be 90
thoroushly out Of harmony with the
larger psiiey which have in mind that
! should be more than disappointed
Congress dsoidss TO levy tariff on i'm
port oil.
"Ths oil Industry IL 90 Important TO
our country and OUR FUTURE IS so
UTTERLY DEPENDENT UPON AN
ABUNDANCE OF PETROLEUM that I
think II IL vastly more important that we
develop an abundance of resources rather
than Temporary prs6t 10 . few pro-
dsesrs who feel the pinch of Mexican
eompstitien."
The House Of Representatives
should vote swift end to this
amazing attempt to fetter America s
economic future.
The Washington times., 1921-07-19

of taxation. He said:
I'VE must revise the taxation systsm
so that il 10 possible for q man TO an
ticipste . reasonable income which ne
can retain as the result of his labor and
~ the result Of the risk that he takss
when he invests money aad when he
does things, when enterpriss and sneryy
are again recognized essential In the
industrial and commercial development
of the land. That 10 the bedrock and
the foundation of prosperity, in my
judgment.
''Ws can pass all the laws In the
world, but we not make man do
things unless he secs q reasonable oPpor-
tunity for profit, and he does not see
reasonable opportunity for profit under
the present system of sxeess-prohts tax.
81 do not want to see the rich svads
taxation. l think incomes unsarned
large funds lying idle should be taxed,
and taxed heavily, but I believe that in
comes coming from going, active busi-
ness should be looked upon as absolutely
necessary to employ labor and make the
wheels again 70 around in the country"
"Make the wheels again go
around That should be the first
goal of craftsmanship today. Until
they are revolving, until the cloud
of unemployment is lifted, until
"good times" return, of what value
to the mass of men are academic
dreamsi
The sales tax pr "sents simple
method of placing upon enterprise a
burden which will not strangle it.
The Washington times., 1921-07-19

MIGHT HAVE
given him.
=
A PAIR of those
things.
WITH A gay
rosette.
THAT SOME folks
wear.
TO KEEP their
sleeves.
FROM DRAGGING
around.
AND GETTING in
the ink.
q q
AND ] cabled his
valet.
AND HIS valet
replied.
HE HAS a pair.
but HE thinks
they'te gsrters.
q
AND HE can't
understand.
HOW THEY got
in his luggage"
so you see, P. Jay.
THAT 1T might
have been.
y
A WHOLE lot
worse.
I THANK you.
The Washington times., 1921-07-19

MY DEAR P. Jay.
THEY c.BLno m.
too.
AND LIKE yourself.
I, ALSO.
AM A sensitive soul.
AND SITTING here.
AT MY fat top
= desk.
I SHELTERED and
swayed.
WHEN I read the
news.
AND LATER on.
THERE CANE to
me.
A TERRIBLE fear.
THAT IT might
have been.
WHEN GEORGE
went away.
TO THE Court Of
st. James.
o
SOME MAIDEN
aunt.
OR MAYBE q
cousin.
OR PERHAPS his
old nurse.
If SHE'S still alive.
The Washington times., 1921-07-19
Turn Wheels

e ENATOR EDGE, in a few words
uttered in the Senate the other
day, compacted the whole case
for a swift revision Of the present
unendurably burdensome hotchpotch
of taxation. He said:
The Washington times., 1921-11-26
CAUSES
By J. n. YEoMANs.

Despite the sleepess nights and tnkerng days of the
builders of motor the most oya! automobilst will
admit that the great majority of temperamenta
matter how high the price the modern acts at times
like spoiled prima donna. True it isn't always the
cars fault but the tantrum comes and in divers and
various parts of the old assembly.
In order to get idea of what most often causes
the average automobile to STALL be stalled Western
motor club kept record of its members road troubles
for thirty days of the touring of this year.
Of 2,425 trouble reported 1905 ignition
625 breakage Of parts due in part to wreckage,
H3 carbuetor cases. 43 starter 135 tire trouble 1913 bat
terry 76 gas line stoppage AZ fuel trouble 10 brake
% engine not functioning overheated engine mired,
oil pump and 2 oil lacking inferior.
The figures reported point out that the most general
of motor "emperamentalism is the ignition sys
tenn. This condition is just another proof that in bringing
the of today to its present high quality the electrical
systems have been sighted bit and too it is in part due
to the fact that but about 10 per cent of the service stations
operating in the equipped to render
real service on the electric systems of cars
When considers the fabrication troubles of other
days the fact that but four of oil pump trouble
reported speaks we'll for the fabrication systems of modern
The report the motoring experiences OF $4,000
members-wouldnt be rather interesting to know just
how many of those members who reported their trouble
blamed it on the old bus-how many put it down as
"temperamentalism" and how many came right out and
admitted that they had finger in the pie.
The Washington times., 1921-11-26

hopper back in the rut and just N
the car got there he stretched his head
over to grab that grasshopper and the
wheel went over Mr.. Turkeys head.
And that was the end of that turkey.
A careful driver, going through a
quiet city street came to q truck
standing by the curb. Just at the
wrong instant. out from behind that
truck jumped q child.
Those things happen every day. all
through the season. They may hap
pen to you or to me, and In no such
case could we, perhaps. be justly
blamed, says Frank Harrington In
Motor Life. No jury wouldN find us
guilty of negligence, and yet-we
might have slowed down when pass
ing that buggy and the dog would
not have been caught. We might have
given that turkey a foot or two lee
way and saved him. We might have
profited by the experience OF others
and have been thinking that there
was possibly a child behind that
truck.
Plenty OF good drivers. better driv.
ers. probably, than you or l, meet with
accidents in which they are technically
free from guilt. They are able to
pass the farmer and his buggy on a
narrow road and never touch him.
They are able to drive over the dirt
road at the speed limit without dam
aging poultry-if the poultry steps
lively. They are able to stop In a min