The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1921-01-05
An G. HENRY Story a Day :sS;$;

20 make change or corpaes as the
ease may he. There are three bar.
tenders; and on the wall IL a ten.foot
Sign reading. AN Drinks one Dol.
lar Andy sits on the safe In his
neat blue suit and gold banded cigar.
on the lookout for emergencies. The
town marshal ~ there with two
deputies 10 keep order. having been
promised free drinks by the trust.
Well, sir. IL took Bird city just
ton minutes 10 realize that IL was In
cage. We expected trouble: but
there wasn't any. Tho citizens saw
that we had EN-. The nearest iaii.
road was 30 miles away. and IL would
be two weeks at least before the
river would be fordabic. so they be.
Fan to cuss. aminble. and throw
down dollars on the bar TN It sound
ed like a selection on the xylophonc.
There was about 800 grown-up
adults in Bird city that had arrived
at years OF indiFcretion; and the ma.
jori'y OF 'em required from three to
twenty drinks day 10 make life
cndurable. The Blue Snake was the
only place where they could get 'em
till the flood subsidized. II was beau.
tlful and simple as all truly Erea,
swindien are.
About ten o'clock the silver dol.
lars dropping on the bar slowed
down 10 playing two steps and
marches instead OF jlgs. But
looked out tho windows and saw "A
hundred or two OF our customers
standing IN line at Bird City Savings
and Loan Co. and knew they
we're borrowing more money 20 be
suck& In by tho elammy tendriis
OF the octopus.
AT tho fashionable hour OF noon
every body went home 20 dinner. We
told the harteuders 90 take advan.
tage Of the luli and do the same.
Then me and Andy counted the re.
ceipts, We had taken In 1880.
We calculated that n Bird City
would only remain an island for two
weeks the trust would be able 20
endow the Chicago University with
a new dormltory OF padded cells for
tho faculty. and present every
worthy poor man In Texas with n
farm. provided he furnished the site
for H.
Andy was especial inroaded BY
selfestccm a, our success. the rudl.
mcnta Of tho scheme having origi-
mated In his own surminen and pre-.
monitions. lie got off the safe and
, III the biggest cigar In the house.
jeff says he. I dom, suppose
that anywhere In the world you
could find three cormoran,n with
brighter ideas about down. treadlng
tho prolstariaf than the firm az
Peters. Satan and Tucker. Incorpo-
rated. We have sure handed the
small consumer a giant blow in the
sole Rpopieciic region. Nor
"'weil.' says 1. ~ does look a.
II We would have 20 take up gas
tri,is and golf or be measured for
kii's In spite Of ourselves. This
little turn In bus juice r.. verify.
all 20 the skibo. And can stand
g. says l. I'd rather batten than
bant any day
ANDY pouru himself out four Nm.
gers Of our best rye and does with
II as was so intended. II was the
firpt drink had ever known him
TO taxi.
by way Of liberation rays he.
10 the gods
And then after thus doing um.
bragg 10 the heather diabetes he
drinks another 10 our success. And
then he begins 20 toast tho trade,
beginning with Raisull and the
Northern Pacific, and on down the
line 10 the little ones like The school
book combine ana the oicomargarinc
outragca and the Lehigh Valley and
Great Scott Coal Federation.
Its all right. Andy. says I. TO
drink the health OF our brother mo-
uopoiists. but don't ovcrdo the was.
sail. You know our most eminent
and ioathed multi.corruptionista live
on weak tea and dog blscuits
Andy went In tho back room
awhile and came out dressed In his
best clothes. There was a kind Of
murderous and soulful look OF gentle
riotousnesa in his eye that I didn't
like. I watched him TO sec what turn
the whisky was going TO take in him.
There are two times when you never
can tell what is going 10 happen.
One Is when a man takes his first
drink. and the other Is when n woman
takes her latest
"In less than an hour Andy's skate
had turned 20 an ice yacht He was
outwarily decent and managed to
preserve his aquarium. but inside no
was impromptu and full OF unexpcct-
cdneaa.
,"'Jefr.' says he. do you know that
I'm a cratcr--a living crater7'
That's n sclf.cvidcnt hypothesis.
says /. But you're not Irish. Why
don't you say Creature" according
to the rules and syntax OF America p
Tim tho crater Of n Volcano says
he. I'm all afamc and crnmmed in
side with an assortment OF words and
phrases that have got 10 have an
exodus. can feel millions of syno-
nyms and parts OF speech rising in
me- says he. and I've got to make
speech OF some sort. Drink says
Andy. always drives me to oratory.
"Tf you've got 20 get rid OF your
excess baggage says |. why not go
out on the river bank and speak "A
piece II seems TO me there was an