Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1921-03-22
Saladsl
fBy n. I. h, sMere Manu.

| could figure out why 1t 10 that the ap-
pearance Of salad, set before me, puts
me into resentful mood. Il Ia not that
the salad isn't good, for 1t 10 alway.!
Ny wife can mako all the known land
varieties of salads, and every
ono of them 10 good. She has fifty
seven varieties cstslogued In her brain
and she can turn ont salad, presto
In the millions Of salads that she has
she has never put before me
one that wasn't perfectly edible-and
tasted like moro.
Verify, our house Is house of salads.
We eat them oil ways, on all days, on all
occasions. Sometimes the salad 10 the
"heavy dish" and we're told to dig right
it is the second best on
the course, and sometimes it's the des-
sert. But 1t oil goes by one name
salad! We wonder, If salad by any other
name would taste a. good.
Sometimes permit my eyes to rove
around over the table at the
fnish OF meal, and l tell myself that
there's nothing left, absolutely nothing,
that my wife can build q salad out OF
for the next meal. But there is-hun-
dreds of things. The next meal proves
IL. I have lived long enough to draw
this OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES lie nothing under
the sun that cannot be converted-o.
. salad. Once in a
while / have occasion to 90 to the re.
frigerator for something or other, and
am faced by salads galore, not yet made
mp. There's tiny bit OF beet on Q sauce
dish, some leftover salmon in Q tureep,
bali q fried egg in q saucer, half dill
pickle on butter chip, some sour cream
that wife knew Pido wouldn't eat, a
half apple, . few baked beans-but
you'd new recognize them when they
come back all brewed together and pap.
rika.ed and lying sublimely on q let.
tuce leaf. And IL nobody eats the let
uce leaf, It goes into to- morrow's salad
Salads &C our house remind one of the
old story of tie farmer who raised cat
tie to buy more corn to fat more cattle
10 buy more corn, etc. It's an endless
chain.
Sometimes when I stick my fork into
q perfectly scrumptious salad, / find
something, Q relic of something else SC
far back that had forgotten II. "Wher
did We have these beans?" l ask, harm
lessly enough, and my wife gives me one
of her looks. You know the kind
mean. As far back az / can remember
nothing but potatoes were made into
salsd-at least in the world in which ]
lived. Some folks liked them, and some
didn't. But folks learned to like 1t
Then come woman began Judging . lit
tle-mixing In other things, when no
body WAS looking. 1t was probably
wash day, and only few cold spuds IN
the ice box. Add 1 remember bow
scandalized was whom first saw some
one putting mayonnaise dressing on
fresh fruits, and calling it by the sacred
name of salad. But those good old day.
are gone. They've been shelved with
other days, when nickel week wat
considered enough spending money fol
eight-year old Joe. Your boy and mine
would probably let nickel roll down q
crack to-day, and make no effort to gel
1t. In the old days, they'd have moved
the crack to get the nickel.
But, speaking of salads. Nowadays
We get not only fresh fruits in salad, bu,
dried fruits, canned fruits, candied fruits
and decayed fruit. 1t all makes salad
Sometimes We get head OF lettuce OF
cauliflower from the grocer's, that has
become wilted-we can't eat 1t. Wife
sighs and lays it aside. Lo and behold,
In day or two, 1t comes to the table 10
the form of salad, plump and delicious.
Even nature and the ice box have a way
OF combining with the fates, to supply
the wherewithal to make salads.
Yesterday my wife showed a plate to-
ward me. It contained three scraps OF
fried potato.
"Can't you eat those, John?" she
asked. "They aren't any good for
salad"
That's it! Ny soul rebels, but eat
because It's good. II thing isn't good
for salad, I'm urged to eat 1t, and If I'u
not urged 10 eat more than want of a
certain dish, 1 know-I feel 1t in my
COULD swear on stack of Bibles that
that dish 10 coming back to our table on
the morrow, bearing the honored name
Of salad.
Sometimes ask, "Whst kind of. salad
Is this to-day, dear?"
Poor wife! She never once thought
Of that. All she knows is, that It is
salad.
"why." she'll begin, sits simply
salad. Does 1t have to have . namep'
persist.
Eyes, but what kind? What did you
call Is when You made itY'
"SalsdP and this time she says IL
shortlike. change the subject and cal,
my salad.
And such mixtures that come to the
table on salad dish. That's the Wa,
We recognize them-by the dishes.
There's boiled eggs and canned peaches
I'm not lying, and it's good. Stewed
,orn and oranges, with tomato garnish
And even mayonnaissed squash ann
oanapss.
You must not get the idea that ".
lon't like salads. We do. We've beer
educated that way. Sometimes small
Johnnie discovers something 10 the
alad that be can't eat in it's naive state
1e picks out the still recognizable BIZ,
md inspects 1t cautiously, to make sure
rs 20 easy to be mistaken, especially 10
alad.
81 don't like peas. ma" he pipes ND.
"This isn't peas, Jobnny-this y,
alad."
eyes, but I found pea in mine"
"Never mind, Johnny, ca, your salad"
And Johnny eats. Hes getting his
ducation young, and 1t won't be 80
ard, when he 10 grown.
One day last week, wife greeted me
t dinner time, With tired smile.
I'VE had company Unexpectedly at
nnch-the Browns. They came just
efore one O'Clock"
"So?" Brown is the man with whom
am just then trying to close . big
cal. SWELL, and was your luncheon ali |
ght, vile? What did you dig up on |
1ch short noticeP"
"Oh, 1 fried potatoes, and then there |
as the soup; Aud made perfectly
l rest easy. don't ask what was in
10 salad. I got over that long ago.
ut I know that 1t was all right, for my
life Is az epicure In that line. even
el sure that can cinch the deal With
rown. But say nothing.
I am wondering iE all the soup was
or whether it's been converted
to salad for my dinner. Ye gods
Il