Omaha daily bee., 1921-01-07

In smelly restaurants,
And gibe at Christ
And Capital and Marriage
And other fundamentals
OF civilization
/ still believe in
Soap and hot water.
The Republican Party.
. Fat babies, privately reared,
The purgative qualities Of castor oil.
And the rule of
A well directed majority.
And in closing
/ heartily endorse
The epgram "....
OF that malefactor of great wealth,
The elder Morgan,
- Who said:
who sells the United States short
Is damned fool" NJ. j. 3.
FEW changes inside the White House are
contemplated Mr.. Borah wishes some of the
wallpaper changed, and Mr.. Johnson has sug-
gested certain rearrangements of furniture; but
otherwise things will be kept pretty much as
they are. ..
/ THE OPEN SEASON ON LANDLORDS
Sir: met a friend some years ago in Dublin.
He was carrying brace Of snipe. That's all the
rint can git out of me tenants in the west" sez
he sez yo 90 he
the dvil that hit those fyin' would miss lie
standin"? ]. G. W.
THERE is plenty of opera Of great interest
and beauty, and if the giving OF opera were
considered primarily from the music viewpoint
we should have chance TO hear it; as it is we
might as we'll live in the South Sea islands.
Opera is the only branch of music which, in its
highest and newest manifestations, is not acces-
sible to Americans of cultivated taste
All THERE. BEN FRANKLIN.
(From the Buffalo. ILL.,, Regster.)
We found a handkerchief plainly marked
"B. F." in our chicken yard the other morn
ing. We dare "B. F. to claim 1t. And II
"B. F. comes shopping around again he
may loose something nearer and dearer to
him than pocket handkerchief.
John H. Edwards.
Mr.. SLASON THOMPSON is learning via
Vox Pop, that there are left-handed u6od-
choppers. We have a picture in memory OF
Tawab, the Indian. with one foot on the bow OF
barrier in the stream. He chopped both right
and left, but whether he shifted his hands or
maintained right-hand golf grip throughout,
we do not recall.
The Flavor Lasts.
Sir: Up in Wisconsin there was skunk farm
adjoining the'railroad right of way, where thou
sands of the pretty little creatures were raised
for their skins. On this particular night large
number Of them. escaping through break in
the enclosure started on moonlight pilgrim
age down the railroad track. When, short time
later, the express bore down on them, they
bravey stood their ground. and, although many
were killed. registered unanimous aud vigSDus
protest. 1t being summer time, the windows
were all open and the awakened passengers
emerged from their berths gasping for breath
At the next stop, division point even the car
inspectors fed precipitatey, and had to be
coerced into performing their duties; and at each
station thereafter, every in sight suddenly
had business elsewhere the minute the train
arrived. OLD TIMER.
APPARENTLY everybody in town read that
personal asking. for information leading to the
whereabouts. Of !aques Segneur. Frenehman.
who died in 1872 and many ouija boards were
busted off and put in service again.
EVERYTHING WAS LOVELY.
(From the Warren Sentnel-Leader)
Christmas golden wedding cele-
brated at the home of Mr.. apd Mrs. Singer,
when the children and grandchildren
gathered at their home and brought good
things to eat end lovely dinner was
served Mrs Mable Klippinger Of Freeport
made a lovely cake and Mrs. McNett
brought beautiful white cake. They -
ceived many lovely presents and Harry c.
puekett tl.tt;, and nd wife VT Of Seattle. Wash sent
decorations, and VIII McNett brought
lovely box of candy.
I PEOPLE were interested in the motions of
heavenly and terrestrial bodies two centuries ago,
Abut there was no means of communicating in
formation to them, as there were no swiftly NOV
ing railway trains to employ as illustrations.
People Hate to Change.
Sir: While ringing out the old ones 1t
CHANGED to occur to me to advise you that in
Cuba it is the custom among the inland and out
Driveway towns to drive the goat around to
the households The milk man advises the
huosehold that he and his goods have arrived
and the housewife promptly brings out the baby
and bitches it onto the goat and in this way no
middle man enters into the deal Milking ma
chimes, cans, bottles or containers, delivery
wagons, dirty feet in the kitchen or the back
porch, frozen milk, split ditto, sour ditto, watered
ditto and other kindred accessories Of the milk
business are done away with. Would it be ask
ing too much to have you sponsorN movement
designed to introduce this most excellent system
in our midst? Sorry. Was afraid it night
HAVANA DE CUBANQLA.
IFsEngland were to stop muddlng and IRE
land stop hating for twenty-four hours, they
might come to understanding. Likewise, It
any one of the large nations were to take a
chance and disarm the rest might speedily fol-
low suit. -
BACK TO NORMAL. ..
Sir: Mr.. Emil Cotton of Room 4, Smell Hall,
U. of c., is addicted to the old-fashioned, open
face cotton night shirt. Inasmuch as college
students are the barometers of the country's
| styles may not this innovation on the part of a
| W. X. campus leader be taken as forerunner of
! the return of the g. o. d. before the advent of
] the bedroom drama HANK.
| AN Escanaba restaurant man admits that he
| "appeases the appetite of the most fastdous in
| such way as to leave return taste in their
| mouths throughout the year"
| ~ CLASSICAL WHO'S WHO.
| Before the Trib had made 'em wise
| That money lay in smiles and beamin',
| Who earned that fifty dollar prize?
| Twas Baucis dear and good Philemon.
What stubborn kid in days Of old,
| Would drive his fathers car of gold
| Was shy in weight by, say ton,
So couldn't hold her? Phaeton.
| ABD-ELKADER.
MR.. SANTEE of Wapwallopen. Pa, Har
ward freshman, aged IS, says that girls play toe
large part in college life Oh, Skinnay! ,.
soLEs AND SOULS