The Glasgow courier. [volume] (Glasgow, Mont.) 1913-current, 1921-01-07

Bp he Cub Reporter
EZRA GOOF ON ''THIS DIFF
FERENT WORLD WE LIVE IN"

aye Gods, and Little Goldfish" ex-
claimed Ezra Goof as he tossed one
of the state dailies in the waste basket.
What now, Ez?" we querried of the
genial old gentleman, who casually
helped himself to one of our "humps."
This is sure getting to be some
old world hat we live in, Scoop" con-
tinued the visitor. 81 just read where
some pious old lady in Chicago who
loves to see her name in print has re-
quested our new President to give up
his cigarettes. With Joe Pope cor
alling the booze and the proposed Blue
Sunday law-and--the good Lord
knows what next, it is difficult to
figure out just where our airship is
going to finally land. You know | am
just waiting to read some morning
where a fellow has bobbed up with a
law suggesting that they open Con-
gress each morning with a Free
Methodist Prayer Meeting. AS they
say, It's a great life-if you don't
weaken
And, it all goes to just further show
the different kind of a world in which
we live. Times have changed and
those things that were not considered
possible at one time, have now come
to pass. Times are very strangely
changed. | can see them-changes
that are reaching to all sorts and con-
ditions Of things; and that is the pro-
position: What are we going to do
about it, and how are we going to play
the game, when the game is so diff
ferent from that which you learned
when you were a boy?
"Take for instance some of the
times. When | was a boy a fellow
courted a girl for a long while-and |
believe in long engagements for at
least you get that out of it-and when
ne married he settled down-and that
is just "direction"-but he he settled;
no question about that. Well, now it
is different. Marriage in this day
is a decidedly more entertaining opera
ton than it was then, partly because
engagements are short, and marriages
are, you know, swift and impulsive at
tachments. Down at Massachusetts
a girl asks How much does he wor-
ship?' And in New York, How much
is he WORTH And, in Montana she
asks Where is hep That leads to all
sorts of beginnings to the contract and
all sorts of continuings, and, down
east to divorce courts. | heard Of a
mar who received an anonymous let
ter advising him if he did not send
five thousand dollars his wife would
be kidnapped. He replied that he did
not have the money, but that the
proposition appealed to him.
And, take for instance the club life
of today. The old time club used to be
the father and the mother, the senior
members, and then certain junior
members, and they had a session every
night. Now, today in Glasgow, if a man
home for dinner he finds his
wife hasn't got in from bridge whist,
and when she wants to retire he has
not got back from penny ante, and
the children don't know they have two
parents the same time Throughout the
day; and it is different; | don't know
how it is going to work out. Two
women met n day, and one asked the
other what her husbands average Sin
come was, and she replied, ooh, about
twelve o'clock
Yes, it is different, nowadays. That
is the kind of a world we are living
in, you know, the type of world we are
in now when you never know what is
going to happen. Every mornings
%reveille is Batter Up; every days
operation is playing ball; we don't
umpire the game; we don't make the
game; we don't score it. Our propo-
sition is our batting average, and
when evening comes if we have made
three hits out of five, we have won out;
two hits out of five and we have lost
out. The question is What is your
batting average The world is a game
and we are the players in it; and be-
lieve me, it's sure some game.
"The proposition is, how are you
going to adjust your ideals? Take a
person like myself q was educated
a minister) grounded, rooted and
brought up with the fomenting and TO-
cusing Of ideals, and what are you
going to do? How are you going to
adjust yourself? Some people won't
make the adjustment at all; they will
stay idealists. | heard of a cook once,
who was a Methodist; if she had her
way she wouldn't have been anything
but a Methodist, but you can't
sit and sing yourself to the everlasting
place without getting there too soon;
so she took on a side line, the job of
cooking-but she adjusted the two;
for instance, in boiling eggs, she used
to sing Rock of Ages Cleft for Me-
three verses for soft boiled, five verses
for hard boiled.
"Of course | would like to see the
world a perfect millennium and all
hat, but you can't legislate folks to be-
ing good. You CAN, though educate
them by playing the game with them
and setting Il good example.
"The world is fifty-seven varieties
of bad pickles: no doubt about that,
and they'll come your way, no matter
how s~ateguarded your life. You may
be a perfect driver of a car. and you
may have Il perfect car; but there is
some fool coming around the corne"
and he'll get you some day. We can't
make good drivers out of all the peo-
pie. but we can drive right ourselves.
The question is not how is the other
tcilw playing the game, but how are
YOU playing it? What is your bat
ting average? If the other fellow is
bent on going to H. YOU can still
play the game, but all the laws in
Christendom won't save HIM.
"How are you playing the game?
Playing the game is the business of
the world today. This is no time
for discouragement simply because
there are those who do not happen to
think TIE same as you. These are
times for optimism. | heard a good
definition a. an optimist the other day.