The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1921-03-05

THE new law firm Of Wilson & Colby will
specialize in international law, it is reported;
practice which obviates the necessity of the
senior member appearing in court. Thus
is paragrapher's fond hope dashed to earth.
We had hoped to record at least one MAY /
not object" uttered to some Judge by Lawyer
Wilson.
SAh, Mon; VIZ Name Like That She
Gamma Lose!"
(From the New York Tribune).
Miss Mary MCGOWAN, business wom-
an of Akron, Ohio, and further distin-
guished as the only woman member of
the American Society of Bachelors, has
announced her intention to become
candidate for mayor of her city.
A MAN was found dead. according to our
revered parent sheet, with "resolver" at his
SIDE Where does one procure a ''resolver"?
We're contemplating hari kari but lack the
resolve.
CAV, Now You Qu.tEt!"
(From The Argus Illinois City Correspont)
Fred Kruger rides in new sedan.
Mr.. Kruger says the front seat is large
enough for two. too.
LOOKING over this partially filled Ark Of
Asinity we are forced to the conclusion that
no one who tries to be funny succeeds a thou
| sandlh part as we'll as one who is funny in
trying to be serious. AS a case in point one
Of the funniest things we ever saw happened
wher We were at the age Of "nigger-shooters"
anu cornslk cigarets, and the man who fur
nished the fun probably was never more Sc
| rious in his life. In the village where We lived
some OF the more ambitious citizens had sue
| ceeGed though not without making serious
ihroads on the paid admissions, in gathering
together and rehearsing enough would-be Thes-
Plans to stage a home talent play in the
| hn MI ND
thunder drama of the old style and the only
available 'villyun" was young man of wood
en- features, wooden gestures, wooden emo
tons and 1--WE are inclined to believe now)
wooden head. The great climax was to come
Immediately following the entrance of the
mur-r-r-rdered- The villain was to register
Mortal Notwithstanding teeth. knocking
knees. etc.-screetch wildly my God! nv
Go6!! Not that! NOT THAT!!!." clutch
systematically at his shirtfront and then, with
enc horrid gurgle, crash to earth. dead. In
stead, this: When the ghost" entered he
glanced at her apparently unperturbed; then
calmly faced the audience, lifted his chin a
trf6e, placed gentle hand over his lower
vest button and piped: "mygodmygodnotthat
notthat." after which he carefully knelt down
stretched himself out and closed his eyes, A
moment later he opened them and scrambled
to his feet, displaying the first emotion of the
the heavy wooden roller of the descending cur.
tain had beaned him. The applause" rocked
the old "opery house" on its foundations.
BRAND NEW MADE-To-oRDER ovERcoAr;
dark brown. medium weight; $40 value:
cheap: Owner changed climate. Also lady's
spring coat No. 16. 933 Seventeenth street
| The Argus.
Better keep the overcoat Remember the
|citizen Of Yuma, Ariz. who changed climate:
He came back after a blanket.
HOW DO YOU GET THIS WAY?
Sir: Advice is like medicine, easy to
give but hard to take.
Spring is coming, and so are the seed cata.
logs Have you got yours?
Consistency. thou art a jewel, quoth thu
poet. Would you classify bill collector as
a jewel? Neither would I.
Girls no doubt-(No. we won't print thai
one. Old stuff.
OF all the falls experienced by Charlie
Charlie Chaplin-(We don't like that one
either).
Wonder if the ice man is thinking of thi.
summers harvest? Truly it will be great.
They say the road to hell is paved will
good intentions. So are the roads Of Rocl
Island county.
Robins may come and robins may 60 bu
the sparrows are with US forever
If he who hesitates is lost how about-(Olt
Stuff. tool.
Seems to me that conducting a colyun
would be a snap compared to conducting
one-man car. Unanimously carried. Qsn'
Jour vote recognizedD
Cows may come and cows may 90 but
Gle upon you. Why not be timely and say
presidents may come and presidents may Il
but Uncle Joe Cannon hangs on forever.
| "A. L. 8.
WHAT" injuries J. ". c.. enclosing ,
want ad from the Moline Dispatch, do yol
think Of this?" Well, frankly, old top, ",
tnink it's ope Of those double-barreled wheeze
and we're afraid to print It,
White House Revory.
Wen, hero am, IN spite Of 1fbes and jeers.
Now let the Democrats 90 forth and Sob
think I'll stick around about eight years
For I've bunch III sort Of like this Job.
. n NHIN