Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1921-01-25
OZARK PHILOSOPHY
Missouri Man Who Has Ideas That
Are Unique.
Rube Helfon Has Opinions O: His
Own and is Tolerant of the Opin-
ions Of The Other FeIIow-Thinks a
Man Like Horse, Would Founder

f1imSelf !f Allowed all he wants.
Frederick J. Liesman in the St. Louis Post
Dispatch.
Rube Helton, who lives two pune
lures and n blowout on the other side
of Santee school house, asserts that
life is not at all what we make it,
because If we had any influence what
soever on the making of life we would
make it last longer. Rube insists that
life is a non-refillable pocket with 4
hole in it and that death obviously is
an unavoidable tragedy like the poll
tax or 4 Republican landslide.
life is entirely a matter o what n
man wants" says Rube the sage of
Maries County. "They's ist two things
a man ever hollers abont-his win
nin's and his losin's: and they's list
two things a man can lose-something
he's got, something he wants. BY usin'
n little hoss sense regardin' what he
wants man can knock off half of his
losin's, Take care O. your wants and
your winnins take care O themselves.
Don't aggrevate yourself into an ap-
petite for somethin what'll lay heavy
on your stummick. Thust, Il mans Il
whole lot like hoss-give him every
thing he wants and he'll founder
hsself."
Justice and Verdictc.
It should be noted that the official
Ozark language recognizes the word
Just only as an obsolete root word
It's modern derivatives, thus, "thust,'
"jest," "jist", "thist" and "ist" not only
cover the musical scale but also cover
many shades Of meaning. The word
"thust." as used by Mr. Helton, con-
veys a sense of the abstract, as, mere
.ly or simply. AS jumping off place
it performs somewhat the same ser
vice as the English word, however.
The official Ozark language produces
more derivatives than any known
substance excepting coal tar.
"Lordy. man." says he a bit plain
lively, II never loaded nor fired 4 gun
nor had law suit in my life. l never
had TO shoot man nor knock him on
the head to git the best OF him. My
people came here hundred and twen-
ty-five years ago and they hain't one
Of 'em ever gone to the pen or sane
asylum yet. Frank Farris says that
there's worlds record"
For all his lack Of experience in law
suits old Rube is considered the cham
pion of Marics County at "cul.inS" Il
Jury. Culing a jury means removing
therefrom any man who is not known
to be solidly in favor OF the cullers
side OF the case.
"Thust. properly cuilcd and hand
picked jury is one o. the greatest
blessin'a o human race" declares
Ruhe. "I wouldn't swap that kind OF
Jury fer the best lawyer on earth. The
laws ist about the only thing on earth
that can be stretched all outa shape
without spolin' it. Eff people wanted
iesticc half MS bad as they want YER
diets the little sridcrs'd coltwcb every
court room in MiZZoury."
When a Man Gets Too Smart
In the plain workaday affairs of life
Rlbc assays 5 pcr cont initiative and
% per cent. referendum.
"Thust. maxim success o either
booze or business is Il time job"
says he. My people come here from
Tennessee. They rode h0Sses and
packed tic beddin' and the fryin pan
on hosses. People were happy and
contcnted then because corn was only
10 cents Il bushcl.
~ man could got fat on Il bushel O
corn where tho 10 cents would a-givn
him Indigestion. The woods was fun
a deer and turkeys and nohuddy ever
OF beef eXcoptin' shiftlcSs people what
didn't do nothin' but work their crops
from daylight till dark. Thust. all you
had to do. TO kill Il wild hog, was To
miss Il deer or Il turkey. Nowadays
you've got 10 raise Il hog ist like yuli
was bringing up Il child; and the only
way you can cit back the value O the
corn you put into him is 10 cat the
hog. It's as hard 10 keep II good price
on what YOU raise as it is to keep the
money artcr yom get il. When YOU get
up in the mnrnin' you've got the whole
world TO face: and it's got you to
face. Whenever you think the odds
is aSin yol ist remember that no ono
man ever run the whole world by his
SELF. but thcy's Eeen many a time
when the whole world waS offerin
dead alive rewards fer one man
When man gifts so smart that he can
out sharp the whole ncighborhood he
either runs for office or runs fer life
Like most Ozark men, Rnhe has de-
ci,led opinions OF his own; unlike most
Ozark men, lie is tolerant Of those who
differ with him.
Figuring What Friends Will Do.
"ThuSt they haint no law tn keel
ary man what don't agrce with mt
from shuwin' his burned ignorance. y
man whalll speak his opinions is {;
good man: hui Il man whatll lct his
last nag in plowin' time is Il gnot
sport l;f everybody WAS right al