The Mankato free press. [volume] (Mankato, Blue Earth County, Minn.) 1879-1924, 1921-01-21
VIEWS OF LAYMEN
-<<<<<%<$<<<<%<%<%%<%<%%
Mr.. Dunn Tells the World

<<<<<<<<$<<<<*
Mr.. Dunn Tells the World
st. Paul, Mimi, January 16.-To
The Free Press: Have no amazing
subject for you to rivet your eyes on,
no mysteries to reveal that have baf-
ned the shrewdest detectives. Just
scribble because like to write.
Would not harm one living thing,
nor would I lend aid or influence
towards extermiSating inanimate
things. The tenderness of my heart
is. all that could be desired. Could
continue extolling my character, but
modesty forbids. There are others,
others equally as immaculate.
viii endeavor to deal with a sub
Ject which has universal condemna-
ton. It's the liar. Have had some
experience in lying. Have lied for
lear or the consequences of truLh.
was brought up in band box Never
avenged an insult. nor have l made
strenuous efforts to kindle a blaze of
SUFFICIENT magnitude to set the world
afire.. One who is chicken hearted,
unskiiied or who shrinks from re-
sponsibility is liable to falsify. There
has been periods in my exitence when
/ would not willingly lie, but have
done incalcuable harm to the truth.
l need your sympathy and prayers
:. Ihere exists more than one class of
liars. First, the confirmed and genu-
lively affirm that the terrestrial mud
pail on which we dwell owes us a
living, knowing that it is a hard pay
master. and will only "come across"
after vigorous attempts on our part
to collect. Such conduct is repre-
hensible as well as incomprehensible
Should be banished from the society
OF those OF transcendent sublimity.
He would have an irresistible tempt
alton to tell the truth bfore he could
De possibly taken seriously.
Ihere are unintentional liars. They
should be judged kindly. 1t would be
charitable to overlook their deficiency.
The structure between their imagin-
alton and memory has collapsed. To
all appearances their ideality is more
stupendous than reality. Love of the
impossible is their predominant char
acteristic. Mark Twain is quoted as
saying that lie can travel around
the globe while the truth is putting on
its shoes" Don't know, never inves-
tigated to the point of accuracy.
Have no business meddling with
what Mark Twain said or any other
man. 1t is not original. Hope you
will pardon my indiscretion
Believe I've handled the subject of
lying to the best of my ability. Have
neglected to tell you that don't know
everything and never was accused of
superhuman sagacity. Therefore /
will terminate.
You might be interested to become
cngnlZant' OF my means of livelihood.
You might be electrified and you
might be ordinarily interested. My
duties are such as not calculated to
arouse the ideal. There is nothing
mind building. Anyone with her
culean physique and sense enough to
cause the discharge of that we'll
known substance from his nostrils
can perform the duties. To discon-
tinue depressing will impart the in
formation that / heave and carry coal
for living. 1t i'll becomes me to dis
parage my means of existence
When ! say existence don't mean
real living. WELDING a ponderous
coal scoop is not calculated to arouse
any real enthusiasm. The instant /
grasp the scoop aforesaid ideality.
mentality and morality spread their
broad wings and depart. Don't con
slider myself lazy, simply would,
should the opportunity present ,.:.self,
lay the foundation for an indetermin
ate vacation
My name is Dunn. Have been Dunn
since August IL 1858. Was born at
a very tender age. Dunn enough
Weigh $50 pounds and measure five
feet seven from tip to toe. Am Dunn
celebrating on my history to date. 1t
would serve no useful purpose
Would not enthuse our learned legis-
lative assembly or cause an elderly
individual to cast aside his or her
reading glasses whilst perusing. Hope
you will recognize the futility of
infinitely divulgjng my antecedents.
/ feverentlv beseech you to over
look bad spelling. grammar and alb
normal expressions. There is no
comparison between me and Noah
Webster, His chief aim in life was
information. Made il n business tn
acquire the art of spelling, punctuation
and composition. If doubt assails you
that some of the words rechlessly in
this epistle are non existant you will
do well to consult his una hrideed. 1t
Is plumb full of information. Have
frequently referred to it myself.
realize the gulf between me and men
Of scholastic ascendency. 1t grieves
me. My ambition far exceeds my
mentality.
Will have to discontinue The hour is
getting late. Please pardon brevitv.
Hone you will let this communication
sink to the depths Of your heart.
Yours cordially, William H. Dunn,