davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1921-03-26
LUKE M,LUKE SAYS

Just because a girl let's a fellow do
all the talking when they are couruns
ia no sign that she Is dumb. 1t is a
sign that She is smart.
Anyway. the United states supreme
court never will get into trouble Tor
violating the speed limit
Another funny thing IL how girl
doesn't need his assistance 70 &c.
across a street after they are married
the way she had to be assisted before
they were married.
Our idea of a drunk is one who longs
for more booze AS much as q woman
longs for more clothes
A man can be smart. enough In ether
ways and yet be big enough iolot
to argue with his wife.
You can force taxes and prohibition
en- the American farmer. But ne draws
the line on being called "peasant'
One of the easiest ways to get your
wife's goat is to tell her now c4ean
some other woman keeps her house
The right kind OF man hates t.
have anyone apologize t. him.
makes him feel meaner than the man
who is offering the apology.
Most men and all wives do not seem
to realize that there 10 . Mfferencs
between conversation ana mono
logue.
| Cartoonists to the contrary. farmers
do not run any more to whiskers
| nowadays than laborers run 70 SQUARE
paper hats.
| Even when man has to stay hons
and sing Ftdo, the poodle. to sleer
while his wife attends . movie show
| he'd get mad IL YOU intimated that NJ
was henpecked.
Even after girl has gazed inte
"a mirrors she wants some man q
! tell her that she Is pretty.
Copyright. 1920
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1921-03-26
FANCY IN NUnfmtE9

BY Samuel Taylor Coieridge.
o, it is pleasant, with q heart at ease.
Just after sunset, or oy mecnlight
skies.
TO make the shifting clouds % what
you please.
Or let the easily persuaded eyes
Own each quaint likeness issuing from
the mould
OF a friends fancy; Or with head
bent low,
gold.
'Twixt crimson banks: aad then =
traveller go
From mount to mount thrungf cloud
lind. gorgeous land.
or. listening to the tide with closed
sight,
Be that blind Bard, who on tha chian
strand.
BY those deep sounds poesessesl Ntlh
inward light.
Beheld the Had and the Odyssey
Rise to the swelling Of Tbs yeices
full sea.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1921-03-26

spectability in this age. Food remains
the essential of living, hence the
proper preparation and serving of
food by those whose duty it is re-
mains the important thing that it al
ways was. 1t makes healthy and
contented human b-ings.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1921-03-26
81 the MONTGOMERY Advertiser.

From the Montgomery Advertiser.
8 Frank Willis Barnett writing in The
Birmingham Ase-Herald. says in the
courae Of an article; II am only trying
to point out that while there are ranks
In the European courts. that even here
in these United States we have different
kinds OF aristocracy, and am glad that
it Is So" Isn't that rather bold talk to
put before the fierce democracy OF JET
ferson county?
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1921-03-26
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
A SPECIALIST.


win you do little work around the
place if 1 give you your breakfast
asked the farmers wife.
yes. ma'am.' replied the tattered
stranger. IF it's the kind of work for
which am best fitted"
What kind is that?"
I'm an expert repairer of pipe organs.
VIEWING THE SCENERY.
you are off the water wagon?"
Temporarily, said Mr.. BIBLES.
Il thought you had through ticket?
Il did-with stop-over privileges"
PERENNIAL Discomfort.
When comes the spring
And brides sing,
AS brides always do;
And to and fro
Soft breezes blow
Beneath fair skies Of blue,
IT'S good to know
That ice and snow
Have quit the scene at last;
But in July
Wen hope and sigh
For Just one arctic blast
Birmingham Age-Herald
The which does show
To us below,
No matter what betide-
If warm it be,
Or cool, yet we
Are never satisfied.
We sit and sigh
For days gone by
With pleasure would abide
But, plainly we,
AS all do see
Are never satisfied.
Columbus Enquirer-Su1f
SHORT SHRIFT FOR LOVE.
''How long have they been married?
mot long enough to begin hating each
other"
THAT doesn't tell me what I want to
know. Some people with genius Tor
hating can make considerable progress IN
"a hours PAUL coos
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1921-03-26
FIGHT AND GROW THIN

A Chicago woman weighed s4v
pounds, and then she took up the prac-
tice of beating her husband systemat-
ically every few days, and now she
has reduced to 40 pounds. Besides
that, her husband has now obtained q
divorce and the newly-slendered figure
will come quite handy. Few things
work out SO well in the lives Of mere
mortals.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1921-03-26

From the San Francisco Chronicle.
OF course. San Francisco has TIE
best, babies. the abandonment women
and the most energetic men. It's good
pure air that does it. air that comes to
us fresh. clean and exhilarating from
it's wanderinss over 5000 miies Of
ocean
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1921-03-26

o tristful is that human heart
Which does not beat in tune with
spring,
When shy sweet blooms their courses
start
And perfumes on the breezes fling.
great indeed the weight Of woe
Unaltered when the good, kind trees,
Comrades of all the winds that blow.
Are vocal with bird melodies.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1921-03-26
ONE by ONE THEY GO
From the Savannah News.

Marion. O.. has lost to the nation its
Hometown editor. its hometown law
yer, it's hometown doctor--and now 1T
is announced that one Of the hometown
clergyman is slated to 60 to Rome.
The hometown undertaken is said 70
be still on the Job.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1921-03-26

BEAUTIES FROM BHUTAN

From IN the DarJeeling Market
Place." by Marietta Neff. in Asia
Magazine.
A half century ago Bhutanese wom-
EN- were described by unchivalrous
pens which portrayed them as dirty.
short haired. perhaps, unlovely to look
upon. overload of gauds and, worst Of
all. polyandrous and lacking in fe-
male delicacy" But in recent times,
partly because the. rare visitor to
Bhutan is now courteously treated and
partly because the world is beginning
to find charm in aboriginal races and
beauty in primitive art these women
have been sketched more kindly. To-
day they commend themselves to
systematic eyes for their housekeep-
ing, their skill in spinning and dyeing
and the weaving of wooden cloth
striped in bright colors, and their I'M
affected friendliness. And in Dar1eel-
ing bazaar, II one OF them. decked out
in hammered silver plaques ana
gorgeous necklace of coral, TURQUOISE
amber or colored stone beads, chance
to be among the chattering coolIe girls
who bear their wares in bamboo pas :
kets strapped upon their backs, she
may receive the pretty compliment OF
being photographed.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1921-03-26

SELLS ITSELF.
Il know book agent who is admitted
into the private offices of capitalists as
soon as he sends in his card"
He doesn't sell history. biography or
the worlds best literature"
Certainly not. He's specializing in a
new golf manual
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1921-03-26
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
AND ELSEWHERE


What is a farmers bureau" said r.
G. Bishop OF Auburn, state organizer
of these associations. They are farm
ers' chambers of commerce. By the
way Alabama and two other southern
states are the only ones not organized.
The bureaus are composed of the ac-
tive farmers, land-owning ones, of the
county. In turn the local organiza-
tions have state bureau. The coun-
ty unit acts for the interest of the
farmers in conjunction with the coun-
ty agent. usually experimenting his
salary.
Each farmer pays his membership
fees to the common treasury and the
common fund Is used for common pur-
poses. first fading out the principal
farm need of the county and deciding
on schedule of action.
The Illinois farmers bureau has
yearly income of 100000. With that
much money organized farmers car
accomplish something
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1921-03-26

TINT WEAKER SEX.
your married life was unhappy"
Yes, your honor" said the subdued
man who was applying for divorce
"Our union developed into a war Of at
triton"
"And that's why you are here?"
Exactly. 1 wore out first"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1921-03-26
al MoRN1NG PRAYER

While thou art sleeping in the
tomb this day, 1T may be that my
spirit sleeps. D wake 1t to life with
thee mt Casters dawning! Amen.
M. s. ID.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1921-03-26
First Mig GIFT


''rhe first big gift made in Birming
ham to the Christian education move
ment was announced Monday after-
noon" said DR.. L.. c. Branscomb, edi-
tor of the Alabama Christian Advocate
"Mr. Stockham is one of the lead
ing laymen in the north Alabama con-
ference. and his gift of 100000 will
add an impetus to the movement which
is now being pressed. For a number
of years Mr. Stockham has been in
terested in the great benevolent causes
of southern Methodism. and has given
literally to their support
''It will be recalled that he was tn,
director of the centenary movement
in the north Alabama conference. and
made a most generous donation to
that worthy cause"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1921-03-26
Keep II AL e

This move for a new courthouse
as component part of a civic center
for Birmingham is one which should
BEG kept alive" said George Lyons
chief of detectives Nothing could be
used to advertise Birmingham so much
as hollow square represented by
woodrow Wilson park encircled by
public Buildings.
Although l have not given the sug-
gestion offered by Mr.. Huey any put
superficial thought, it sounds good. IL
the county can use $1,0OO0O0 Tor
courthouse bonds, without injurins
the road building plans already drawn,
the move should be practical
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1921-03-26
Feminine for Jelly-bean

while / was on visit to New
Orleans recently, hit up on some
thing new to me-" says Timothy n.
Hunter. Il heard it on the street. IL
is a name that denotes the feminine
for Jelly bean, in other words, in New
Orleans / heard for the first time that
a female jelly bean is called gum
drop. / asked the fellow who said IL
just what he meant.
why a gum drop is the same thing
as a jelly bean, he said only it's
feminine, haven't you ever heard of
gum drops in Birmingham?
I'VE don't have them, said gall
lantly, having in mind right at that
time some girls 1 had seen in Biz
mingham that l knew would be gum
drops in New Orleans and only escaped
by being in Birmingham
g Just how do you tell gum drop?
l asked
why just the way you tell jelly
bean, she's mostly frivolous, over
dressed, painted and generally snap
PLY gotten up and all that
1T suppose she's the kind of girl
who likes jelly-beans?'
Exactly, and just the kind of girl
a jelly bean prefers
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1921-03-26
PRIVILEGED CREATURE.

Your efficiency expert is gomez"
Yes. and he left an aching void"
How so?"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1921-03-26

FUTILE SEARCH FOR IDEAS.
The daily bard
Doth find life hard
Filled with regrets
Who frisks his brains
With grievous pains,
But nothing gets.
LIMITED COURAGE.
The man who'll snare
tiger cat
Is afraid to wear
The first straw hat.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1921-03-26

He's the only man we ever had around
here who dared to reprimand our beau
teous blonde stenographer for being late. -
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1921-03-26

A Chicago wife says the other woman
in the case has eyes of ''hellish blue"
1t was the baleful sparkle of these orbs
that broke up her more or less happy
home.
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1921-11-26
CHICAGO SPECTACLE
HOUSE MAKES
STARTLING OFR
VIII Send Handsome Glasses On
Trial to Anyone

Everyone who wears glasses Or
suffers from eye strain, viii be In
terested in the remarkable offer OF
the Chicago Spectacle House, Dept
CAS-, 1852 w Madison street. Chi
cagO, ILL.,, to send a pair Of their
large size True Vision GLASSES
Free on trial to any reader OF this
paper who writes them. These
splendid glasses will enable anyone
to read the smallest print, thread
the finest needle, see far or near
and prevent eye strain and head
aches. They are 10 karat gold
filled, very handsome in appearance
and should last a life time. Don't
send any money, simply your name
address and age, and state hs
length of time you have been WeaI-
ing glasses. They will send you
the glasses at once by prepaid par
eel post, to use and wear for 10
days free. If you are satisfied il
every way and want to keep them.
you are then to pay the small
charge Of $295, otherwise return
the glasses and you are out nothing.
If you accept their offer at once
they Will enclose the glasses in
beautiful, velyeteen-lined spring
back pocketbook spectacle case,
which is to be yours free Of all cost
Il ADVERTISEMENT
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1921-11-26
NERVIEST MAN
STEALS CYCLE;
OFFER REWARD

Some people have nerve, but the
man who dared to steal a bicycle
while several eye-witDesses are
present has more nerve than any
one with whom Arthur A. Decom-
mer has ever come in contact
Decommer is the proprietor of a
meat market, 222S Fourth avenue.
At $50 o'clock yesterday afternoon
a stranger calmly walked to the
front of the store and rode away on
a new delivery bicycle. Neighbors
who witnessed the theft immedi-
ately informed Decommer. The
chase started, but the bicyclist was
too fast.
The thief was a man of about 40
years of age and had one hand
bandaged. He wore blue overalls,
a black coat and a gray hat, and
was about six feet tall. The cycle
was blue and had a motorcycle
stand attached to it. A reward is
being offered by Mr.. Decommer.
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1921-11-26
TWENTY-FIVE YEARSAGO
From The Argus Files OF 1896 :

ed to finish and furnish the pro-
jected portion. The building was
designed and is being erected by
Contractor c. j. w. Schreiner.
There are about six hundred
feathered birds on exhibit at the
Western Illinois Poultry and Pet
Stock association show at Armory
hall. A Central American parrot
Will be exhibited tomorrow.
Nov. 26.-Miserable as was the
weather, Thanksgiving day was ap-
proprlately observed in Rock Is
land. Services were held at all the
churches. Many attended the pouI-
try SHOW, while others went to the
roller rink, the theatres and the
concert at the Central Presbyterian
church.
Prisoners at the county Jail ate
turkey yesterday. Sheriff Hemen-
way had three of the THANKSGIVING
birds prepared for their special
benefit They were given mince
PIE and other deIicacies which are
strangers even to the sight of Jail
birds at all times, except the holt
days. Twenty sat down to the
spread yesterday.
OFFICERS elected for the Poultry
association are as follows:
PRESIDENT. c. Surman, Rock
Island.
Vice presi1ents-Fred Crosby
Seaton; W. NJ. Wilcox. Moline.
secretary = c. F. Kammerer,
Rock Island; assistant H. f.
Biggs, Moline.
Treasurer. H. Cooper, Moline.
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1921-11-26
LIVING CHRIST IS
BROADWAY THEME

THE Living Christ of Person4l
Experience is the subject OF the
sermon in the Broadway Presbyter-
ian church tomorrow morning. This
sermon is a companion of the ser
les on the "Objectivity of Christ"
which has just been completed. The
series was based on the appeal
which Christ made upon those who
heard Him and saw Him-objec-
lively. Rev. John McGoWn Steven
son will preach in the morning. In
the evening he will preach in the
First Presbyterian church, East
Moline, and moderate congrega-
tional meeting which will extend
call to Rev. Mr.. Boaz, the pastor
elect of the church. Mr.. Boaz will
preach in Broadway at the evening
service In the evening a commun-
ity sing will be held, the congrega-
ton being led in the singing of
gospel songs by the song leader
supported by an orchestra.
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1921-11-26
Marguerite de La Motto

Marguerite de la Motto, the pref
ty little actress who played with
Douglas Fairbanks in THE Mark
of Zorro" and THE Nut" is to have
an East Indian role next THE
Daughter OF Brahma" is the name
OF the picture and Miss de la Motto
will play the title role. that OF Sar-
isvati, the daughter of Brahma
The picture will be ]. L. Froth-
ingham's next production for re-
lease by First National 1t is the
story of India and English official
dom. Prominent in the story IS the
action which occurs in a ruined
Hindu temple, which was repro
duced with great pains by the pro-
Queer and director. Much of the
success of the reproduction was
due to Technical Director Magee,
an expert on Indian architecture
and customs
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1921-11-26
Ell spKARnAN LEWIS.

Chicago, Nov. 26.-Mary Garden
Is trying her hand as salesman, an
entirely new role for her. She viii
make her debut In this character
without music on Monday morning,
Nov. %, at the Auditorium theatre,
Chicago, when she will open the
midgeason subscription sale Tor
the second half OF the Chicago
grand opera season. This feature,
never tried before by the Chicago
Opera association, is Miss Garden s
own idea, and was prompted by
the trern endous attendance or the
first two weeks of the season,
which is the largest that institution
has ever had for a corresponding
period. The mid-season subscrip-
tons will be effective beginning
Dec. IS, covering the final nve
weeks OF the series.
The coming week, the third OF
the season, brings a varied and at
tractiye fare. Monday night Iffen
bach's 1.-The Tales of Hoffman,,
will be given its first presentation
of the season. Two Of the trio OF
SOPRANO roles, the Doll and An
tonia, will be sung by Edith Mason,
and the third, Giuletta, by Mar
guerite Namara. Edward Johnson
will have the tenor role Of the poet,
Hoffmann, Joseph Schwarz will ap-
pear in the three distinctive char
acters, DIR. Miracle, Coppelius and
Dapertutto, Irene Pavloska will be
the Nicklausse, and other roles are
allotted to Jeanne Schneider, the
Messrs. Nicolay, Beck, Defrere,
Qua, Mojica, CaVai, OlivGro and
UhL Gabriel Grovlez, the famous
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1921-11-26
Miss Alma Taylor.

The first European movie star
has arrived in Hollywood on a
RECIPROCITY visit" For the past
few months American film celeb
rites have been fiocking to Eu-
rope and so it is not surprising to
find at least one English film star
in the American motion picture
center.
She is Alma Taylor, said to be
the most popular star of England
and often referred to as the Brit
ish Mary Pickford." Miss Taylor
viii study American movie produc-
ton during her stay here. At pres
ent she is observing in the Marshall
Netlan studios in Hollywood and
she claims she is learning much
from that well-known American
producer.
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1921-11-26

The reason for Ignaz Friedman's
large number of engagements may
be found in this artists tremendous
scholasticism, which is recognized
throughout the world. Himself a
composer of Importance, having
over 100 published works available,
his profound musicianship and stu
dious art will be enduringly re-
membered by his editions of Chopin
and Bach, much in use by piano
students and teachers in this coun-
try. Friedman is at present work
ing upon a similar Schumann piano
edition.
known in Europe and South
America for many years as one of
the greatest living virtuosos of the
pianoforte, Friedman has been un-
able to visit America previously on
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1921-11-26
Perfect WRAP
PERFECT MAIL
PostOffice Department Apnro,ss
Package Campaign With Linz
About Early Mailing.

The mail early" campaign inss
tuted all over the country a sbo-,
time ago by the postoffice denar,
ment, which has won such spleco,s
response from the business h,,,sas
resulting in more expe6if;,ys
handling and movement of nans
has been augmented by the initis-
ton of another campaign. caIIal
the perfect package campaign in
stituted as the holiday season an.
proaches, to educate the public +,
preparation OF parcels for mauin-
Postmaster Harry P. SimDsoS
commenting on the local phase nj
the campaign, stated as follows.
The process of educating the ppb-
lie in preparation of Christmas nav
cells, is not new at the local nost
office. 1t has been our custom Tor
the past five or six years to have
the letter carriers distribute IN an
householders during the month Of
December, printed list of sugyes-
tons for the packing Of parcels
requesting use of strong wrapping
paper and cori; the use OF ink in
writing the addresses and return
requests and requesting that ad-
dress be given the greatest proml-
hence, and marking Of parcels con-
tanning fragile or perishable con-
tents to indicate these conditions
Clerks both at the main Office
and all Stations, are required to 40
cept no parcel for mailing which
ia not property prepared for maIl-
ing"
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1921-11-26
Opera Director to Turn Salesman When
She Opens Mid-Season Subscription Sale;
"ToIes of Hoffman," Opens Program

French composer, and former CHIEF
conductor of the Paris Opera
Comique, VIII conduct his first per-
Torrance in America
The observation-disclosures
cast in Norma Wanna" Tuesday
night will be the same as that OF
the first week with Mr.. Polacco con-
Quoting. "Tannhauser" viii be
sung again Wednesday night by
Mines. Raisa, Van Gordon, Dus-
seau, Messrs. Schubert, Schwarz,
Wolf, Ditch, Beck, Qua, Nicolay.
with the ballet headed by Payley
and Oukrainsky, and with MI. Fer
rari as conductor. Another well
come repetition, La scheme" will
be sung Thursday night by Mines.
Dux, Payloska, Messrs. Patuera'
Dimini, Lazzari, Defrere, Trevi-
san and Oliviero, conducted by Fer
rari. Friday night the house Will
be dark as usual
The great Muratore will add an
other to his brilliant list of inter
pretations in 1.-THE Love of Three
Kings" in which he will sing the
tenor role for the first time Sat
urday afternoon, with the otherwise
familiar cast including Mary Gar
den. George Baklanoff. Edouard
CotreuiI and Constantin Ntcolay
with Polacco conducting.
"Otello" will be given for the
first time this season on Saturday
night with the same great cast
which last sang it, including Rosa
Raisa, Charles Marshall MARIA
CIaessens, Giacomo Rim1nI, Flr-
gilio Lazzari, Lodovico OilViero,
Jose Mojica, Sallustio Cavai and
Jerome Uhl, with Mr.. Cimini con-
Quoting.
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1921-11-26
$1,000 Is PLEDGED
TOWARD BUILDING
FUND OF CHURCH
fspectal Moline Serial

The building fund of the Free
Swedish Evangelical church, Elev-
enth street and Thirteenth avenue,
Moline, was increased to $500 at
the Thanksgiving service, when
members of the congregation con-
tributed $1,000 toward the annual
offering.
The greater part of the amount
raised to date, represents small in
dividuai subscriptions and dona-
tons of church societies in the last
four years.
J. F. Syrombeck, in announcing
the result of the annual Offering
last evening, predicted that on
Thanksgiving day, four years
hence, the Free Swedish congrega-
ton would worship in a new edi-
flee.
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1921-11-26
O'NEuL TO PREACH
AT MOODY CHURCH

Rev. W. B. O'Neil, pastor of the
Berea Congregational church, Day-
export, will preach in the Moody
tabernacle, aalicagO, tomorrow.
The appointment comes as 4 dis
tirct honor to the Davenport pas
tor as the Moody church is one Of
the largest in Chicago, having 4
membership OF 5000.