South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-02-04
The Tower of Babel
Bv BILL ARMSTRONG
N THE SWEPT Rye AND

z
! IN THE SWEET BYE AND BYE.
remember It was way back in
1879 when 1 had the experience I
am now about 20 relate. One of
| the south Bend papers needed some
| reporters badly, az least I guess
'hey needed them badly because /
| hds hired. These were busy DAYS
| IN the newspaper offices everywhere.
I lou see they had just passed some
! CT the most important OF the Blue
Laws. and there were many more TO
| come.
There was little argument before
me city editor and came 10 terms.
| lie was liberal. He named a salts
| factory salary. and advanced two
| dollars on the prospects Of me fin
] ishing the week out. / say he was
lberal-I found out afterwards he
/ mad been this way from the day ne
ACQUIRED from a dying friend. who
had made a million in Cincinnati
| before the country elected Nolstead
! how 10 manufacture a very sausfac-
] tory beverage, formerly known az
/ beer but forbidden to be mentioned
as such following the passage OF the
6lst constitutional amendment.
After everything had been fixed
up in reference TO my salary and
my meal ticket, l presented myself
/ IN the editorial rooms where
/ found a large number Of reporters
and editorial writer's lounging about.
engaged In reading and writing. For
reading they seemed TO run to the
| congressional record and variety
/ Of other thick tracts These tracts
were 80 common throughout the
| room and were OF such ponderous
So hnf
tracted my attention. AS I awaited
q summons from the city editor. my
natural love for the curious caused
! me to peek over many an unfamiliar
shoulder I'm an effort 70 ascertain
what II was all about. My curiosity
was amply rewarded.
a fellow just in front OF mo. I
found TO he reading a tract entitled
Our Next Amendment-Flow
Wall Paper Must CO." He appear
ed TO be absolutely stuck on his
subject.
Another fellow was wadng
through what appeared 70 be a
Juicy piece OF propaganda, called.
Christmas Tree Lighting-A Men
ace TO a Freedom Loving People"
I learned later from very authentic
sources that this fellow was never
ut up on Christmas. so must con
clude he knew little or nothing n
reference 20 his subject.
| observed a great many more
pamphlets. which were being de-
voured apparently by my editorial
room friends. \ few OF the titles
7 recall. for Instance. Death to
Chewing Tobacco" should Rabies
Walk before they are Six" "Elinnin-
alton OF Darkness in Movies" Fed
oral Censorship of News In Daily
Papers" Taboo the Silk Hose. ."
and 60 on.
Finally I heard the city editor
calling my name in loud, rich
voice that suggested mush and
milk I strobe up TO the throne and
Saluted.
"say Cub" he SAYS. Get this
Here's n real one II there's any
truth IN it. They've discovered a
guy at Walkerton. this county,
that's just found a quart OF real
Haig and Haig in the cellar OF tho
house he moved into today. Wen
want two columns. page one for the
daily and we can throw a page in
The SUNDAY catch EN- and kill EN-
section 4 there's any truth IN what
he SAYS Go out and see. Canfi1lv
think he's cuckoo. II he haint
wire or telephone me the stud. II
p is just wire yes
That night about Q o'clock 7 tele-
era phed the city editor yes.
The next day ! showed up early,
but tired. The city editor sent me
&c cover one Of the municipal courts.
he regular man being IN jail on a
charge Of smoking. The poor fellow
had been caught red handed in the
cellar Of his home smoking a cigaret
he had succeeded In buying from
tobacco boOJ,egge- for an eXOrbitant
Eim
7 arrived At the court IA the due
course Of time. There was some de
'7y in the opening of court. 80 7
made mp my mind to stroll emone
she prisoners and hear their sad
stories. soon awakened TO the
fact that the Blue Law officers had
indeed reaped a rich harvest over
the sabbath
There were couple hundred
prisoners. and he other persons IN