The central record. (Lancaster, Ky.) 18??-current, 1921-04-28

comes along asking impairment queS-
items as IN how many children have.
ani my maiden name before was
msrried. and whether there's insanity
In the family.
I'm sick and tired ~ answering
such questions. II my old friends
want tn dig into my family history.
I'll civ. them all the Information they
want, although may consider their
conundrums In had taste. hut when y
perfect stranger cumes along and asks
M " DO my own washing. f,.l that
the line must be drawn somewhere
Every hack In office asks questions. II
used % be- that the assessor would
come To- The door politely. and inquire
how many dogs we kept and take our
esilmnt" ~ the value ~ our prop
crty without looking ns though h.
knew We ought To- be prosecuted for
perjury. But now he must know the
kerS. and " you tell him that you keep
no dogs he go,- out and looks under
the house. and In the barn. and when
he comes hack he warns you that the
penalties for giving false Information
ARE severn.
'Mr. crfew says that the next
time the assessor comes. he Is going
10 throw him over the back fence and
kick him down the alley for dis.
tance 81 seven blocks. aud lDpe he'll
keep his word"
II didn'r mean To offend YOU" said
the stranger I'm introducing a wash
ing powder that saves half the labor.
and dispenScs with soap altogether.
With this marvellous powder a woman
can do the weeks washing and have
her clothes hung on the line. inside 81
two hours"
swell, mister. you take a package
NJ your marvellous powder down "a
the creek. and give yourself good
scruhhIrg for you look as though you
had been fishing out % somebody's
dusthin Your whiskers are full ~
sawdusi. and your face Is covered
with CRIME n you were introducing
bitumlrous coal. there might he some
excuse for your appearance. hut n
man VINO IL selling wishing powder
ought Ca h. like the driven snow. ar
nobody will have confidence In him.
"And I wouldn't have anything to
do with your washing powder II you
offered 10 bring me a wagonlOad for
twenty cents ! make my own soap
Of lye and grease. and although u
isn't iniorsed by the crowned heads
% Europe. or by prelates or vice pres
ldents. It's the best soap ever made.
aud I know the ingredients are whole
some. even II they don't comprise
banks and buds and healing herbs.
"wh.n I use my own soap. know
the things ! wash won't be any the
worse for Il. hut the washing powders
sold bs agents are made OF dynamite
and lunar cnustic. and a garment once
washeo with them will never be NJ
To use again.
LAS, spring was feeling too poor
~ 10 make the usual batch ~ soap.
No I fought a package Of washing
powder from an agent who had his
pockets full Of testimonials showing
that he was a man II high moral char
acter II happened that week that
all of Mr.. Curfew's white shirts were
In the wash. Mr.. Curfew II very par
tlcular about his shirts They must
be as white as arctic snow, or the way
he raves around the house Il dis
grace. Well. wish you could have
seen those shirts after they were
washed. They had an old gold color.
and have been getting yellower ever
since. and Mr. Curfew never slis down
but he speaks about II and makes
things uncomfortable.
$50 you had better toddle along
and sell your washing powder to some
woman who doesn't know how 10 make