Evening star., 1921-06-19
How to Pick a Husband
By Ring w. Lardner.

minded golfer and looses track Of
couple strokes once in a vile. He may
be .. X. as husband provided the
wife knows his habits and allows for
same. Like forinst. if she wants 81
to buy herself l pr. hosiery she better
ask him for IS as he is libel to take
off one. If she asks him how many
other gals he ever loved and he says
6. she can figure they was { or S. She
can get along with him fine as soon as
she learns the discounts.
\ X
DON'T marry the man that takes 9
on a par hole and then tells the
caddy he will get him fired il he don't
quit talking to the other kids. This
bird is Alibi Ike and never done moth
ing in his life that was his own fault.
If he cuts himself shaveing its be-
cause his wife use to be a Presby-
terra. If theys part of the paper
missing its because his wife has got
red hair. II he spills gravy on his
cuff its on acct of the Mrs. being
born in Ohio. This birds wife will
even get blamed for being there when
he asked somebody TO marry him.
3.
DON'T marry the man that after he
- has went in the rough and lose
his ball and hunts for it 6 minutes,
and then he says. Il guess / better
drop another ball" but he don't make
no move e drop another ball and
keeps on hunting for the old ball and
il he misses a shot he asks every
body, What did 1 do that time?" ana
when he finely gets on the green he
asks the caddy how many shots he
has had. This guy don't know how TO
spell sincere and if he says we Will
go in town some night next wk. and
see a show they's no need for the wife
TO begin worrying about what to wear
as She amt going nowheres.
4 \
DON'T marry the man that shoots
out OF turn and acts like they
wasn't nobody else on the golf course
and after he has missed one putt he
puts again when it amt his putt and
says. III get out of your way" when
This guy is what they call self CEN
tered and he will probably make
money and DE a good provider and be
stuck on his wife because she is his.
but not SO stuck on her that he won't
raise he'll if she trumps his trick.
These birds is dangerous and fools
lots Of people because they are polite
l. - has
have studied them both as golfers and
private citizens both and they amt
one of them that don't believe in their
heart that they's % too many letters
,n the alphabet.
** +
THE man that makes the ideal hus-
= band is the man that can play
golf or leave it alone and it don't
make no differents il he plays good or
rotten. he is always sunny and bSiEh<
and il its going to make him late for
dinner to play . more holes. why he
quits on the 10th.
He shoots when its his turn and
when he misses a shot he just smiles
and asks the caddy about his home
life and when he looses a ball he
drops another bali without l. yes or
no and he knows all the vile how
many shots he has had and can even
say 10 and IL without chokeing.
These is the kind of men for the
gals to go after and the only trouble
is that they's only of them in exist
ents and one of them is what some
people calls a writer and he lives
bere in Great Neck and has all ready
Tot plenty of wife and children ana
the other is a man tnat lives In Bos-
ton and may be eligible after q wlie
Tor n divorce. RING W LARDNER-
Great Neck. June IL,