The Washington herald., 1921-04-10
Master Minds of Nation Hear
Selves Roasted to Rich, Brown !.
Turn, Over Gridiron Embers

from commenting on public affairs
in public prints"
What is the population Of Yap,
Uncle George?
"The population. of Yap, RolIo, is
53o-ss in the Senate and 4so in the
House."
"Uncie George. What did Gov.
mean when he said: Have
faith in Massachusetts?
He foresaw. Rollo, a Massachu-
setts man as Vice President, presid-
ing over the Senate; a Massachu-
setts man Speaker and presiding
over the House of Representatives; |;
a Massachusetts man leader of the
Senate and presiding over the pow-
erful Committee on Foreign Rela-
tions; a Massachusetts man as Sec
retary of War presiding over the
army. the Panama Canal and the
waterways of the United
States"
Has Hopes for Sacred Cedash.
"And does every one still have
faith in Massachusetts,"
Il don't know, Rollo; but every
one still has hope and charity"
"Win the relations between the
White House and Congress be one
grand sweet song to the end of the
present Administrations"
There are some questions, Rollo,
that even your Uncle George hesi-
tates to answer. Give me your hand
and we will meander over to the
White House grounds where they
now have open gates. openly arrived
at"
All Of the members OF tho CabI-
net were called to their feet at one
stage of the dinner. and remained
standing in their places while an
elder statesman of the club ad-
mo nished them in satirical and en-
manner on their duties
and responsibilities.
Lddie Boy, the Presidents Aire-
dale, figured in the proceedings,
both as q guest and as part of the
Brought over from
the White House without the
of President Harding. he
was presented as one who hears and
sees everything that goes on in
Cabinet meetings and never reveals
what takes place.
And He Kept the Secrets.
Laddie Boy was mounted on a
table while members of the club
questioned him about what the
had said about foreign
policies and domestic questions
Laddie Boy maintained his reputa-
tion of trustworthy confidant by re-
maining silent.
The Patronage National Bank
was opened for business in full
view of the diners, and a line OF
customers with checks to cash ap-
peared. One of these tried to cash
a check signed by Frank II. Hitch
cock, calling for a fourth-class
postmastership. Payment was re-
fused. after some delay in trying to
Identify Mr.. Hitchcock. "Oh. now
remember him." said the book
keeper. why. he hasn't had a
nickel in this bank since 1t was re-
organized last winter"
A check signed by Senator Wads.
worth on the. New York Joint Ac-
count. likewise was refused. The
teller explained that when Sena-
ator Calder telephones to stop pay
ment, and when Senator Calder
draws a check Senator Wadsworth
stops it."
Total Never Varies
They've got nice balance
went on the bookkeeper. but they
cannot seem to use il"
rhark nn pnatnfirA ~
was turned down for lack Of in
dorsement by Will Hays. The pos.
SCISSOR explained that Mr.. Hays had
1t because he had broken his wrist
boots of derision.
I'll bet Will has told that story
thousand times" said the teller
Broke his wrist. eh? II all you
wanted was a handshake, he'd give
you a grip like a gorilla"
A small check signed by Vice
President Coolidge was rejected or
the ground that his account had
been closed for him after he had
drawn "a private secretary and one
chair at the foot of the table"
Forgery was instantly detected
when a check signed Herbert
Hoover" and indorsed Hiram John.
son" was presented. The customer
escaped before the police could, ar.
rive.
A check signed by Harry NJ.
Daugherty made the bank official.
sit up and become polite. But II
was only for moment. Examina.
ton showed that the check wa.
dated 1925. It's a rain check or
the next administration" said thu
teller.
"CarefuL' Mr. Daugherty.
The bookkeeper indicated thai
the president of the bank. Mr.
Daugherty. ought to be more care.
full in matters Of that sort. Care.
full" calculated the teller, "why
that was about the most careful,
check / ever saw"
An individual representing him.
self as a political astronomer az.
companied by a student, appeared
Using an astronomical chart ths
astronomer explained that .there
are two great consultations in the
political heavens. The members OF
the constellation on the right" said
he, do not revolve around the sun
They revolve around Taurus-the
bull"
Bull must have great attrac-
tion," said the student.
Yes. sir. Bull is absolutely fas.
cinating to most political stars"
The constituent elements of the
poiitical satellites Of the bull were
declared to be gas and crust. =
The second constellation, IL an
peared, contained one great sur
That" the astronomer said, "is tbs
new sun In the political heavens
called Warren Gamaliel, formeriv q,