The Washington herald., 1921-02-27

4 ooAa A.
I was cleaning the stray item,
from the evening papers while JEFF,
Peters packed his briars pipe with
plug cut.
which same" said JET. call,
for a new deck. and a recitation BY
the entire class in philanthromathe.
matics."
rs that an allusion?" / asked.
TT is" said JEFF. II never told
you about the time when me and
Andy Tucker was phiianthropists
did I? II was eight years ago In
Arizona. Andy and me was out In
the Gila Mountains with a two-horss
wagon prospecting for silver. We
struck Il, and sold out to parties In
Tucson for $25,000. They paid ouI
check at the bank in silver-a thou.
sand dollars in a sack. We loaded
1t In our wagon and drove east q
hundred miles before we recovered
our presence of intellect. Twenty
five thousand dollars don't sounS
like SO much when you're reading
the annual report of the Pennsyl-
yania Railroad or listening to ar
actor talking about his salary: bui
when you can raise up a wagon
sheet and kick around your boot.
heel and hear every one Of 'em rims
against another 1t makes you feel
like you was a night and day bank
with the clock striking twelve.
The third day out We drove into
one Of the most specious and tidy
little towns that Nature or Rand
and McNally ever turned out. I,
was in the foothills, and mitigated
with trees and flowers and about two
thousand head OF cordial and dila
tory Inhabitants. The town seemed
to be called Eloresville. and Nature
hat not contaminated 1t with many
railroads, f1eas or Eastern tourists
Me and Andy deposited our mon
ey to the credit of Peters and Tuck.
er in the Esperanza Savings Bank
and got rooms at the Skyview Hotel
After supper we lit up. and sat out
on the gallery and Smoked. rher
was when the philanthropy idea
struck me. 1 suppose every graftel
gets 1t sometime.
When a man swindles the public
out of a certain amount he begins to
get scared and wants to return par,
of II. And IL you'll watch close and
notice the way his charity runs
1 yob - oCC Nhoe tAlto " II
to the same people he got it from
AS a hydrostatical case, take, let's
say, A. A made his millions sell
ing oil to poor students who sit UT
nights studying political economy
and methods for regulating the
trusts. So. back to the universities
and colleges goes his conscience
dollars.
There's B got his from the COM
mon laboring man that works with
his hands and tools. How's he to
| get some of the remorse fund back
into their overalls?
| AHA" says B, I'll do 1t in the
name of education. I've skinned the
laboring man. says he to himself
but, according to the old proverb
Charity covers a multitude o;
skins"
so he puts up ssO.ooo.ooo worth
of libraries; and the boys with the
dinner pail that builds 'em gets the
benefit.
Where's the books asks the
reading public.
81 dinna ken.' says B. I Offered
ye libraries; and there they are.
suppose IL I'd given you preferred
steel trust stock instead ye'd have
wanted the water in it set out in Gu;
glass decanters. Hoot. for ye!'
But, as I said, the owning of SC
much money was beginning to give
me philanthropitis. 1t was the first
time me and Andy had ever made a
pile big enough to make US stop and
think how we got It.
| ANDY says /, we're wealthy
| not beyond the dreams OF average
but in our humble way we are com
paratively as rich as Greasers.
feel as IL I'd like to do something
for as well as to humanity
| ct was thinking the same thing
Jeff.' says he. We've been gougine
the public for a long time with al
kinds of little schemes from selling
self-igniting celluloid collars tt
flooding Georgia with Hoke Smith
i presidential campaign buttons.
| I'd like, myself. to hedge a bet oil
two in the graft game IL I coult
do it without actually banging thu
cymbalines in the Salation Army Of
teaching a bible class by the Ber.
tillon system
| "'WhatIl we do " says Andy
Give free grub to the poor or sent
a couple of thousand to George Cor
telyou?
Neither says /. We've go
too much money to be implicated
in plain charity: and we haven't go
enough to make restitution. So
we'll look about for something
that's about half way between tn,
two
"The next day In walking around
F'loresville we see on a hill a bis
red brick building that appears Il
be disinhabited. The citizens SPEAK
up and tell us that 1t was beguI
for a residence several years befor,
by a mine owner. After running
up the house he finds he only haC
s2.S0 left to furnish it with, so hi
Invests that in whiskey and jump,
off the roof on a spot where he nov
requiescats in pieces.
"As soon as me and Andy saw
that building the same idea strucl
both of us. We would fit 1t III
with lights and pen wipers ant
professors, and put an iron do,
and statues of Hercules and Father
John on the lawn, and start one o.
the finest frees educational insti
tutions in the world right there.
so we talks it over to the promi.
nent citizens of Floresville, WHIT
falls in fine with the idea. The,
give a banquet in the engine hous,
to us, and we make our bow 70,
the first time as benefactors to tn,
cause of progress and enlighten,
ment. Andy makes an hour-and-a.
half speech on the subject of irri,
CATION in Lower Egypt, and w,
have a moral tune on the phono
graph and pineapple sherbet.
| randy and me didn't lose an,
time in philanthropping. We pui
IeVery man in town that cnnld teI