davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-02-27

comes home an makes tn finest
salad dessin' you ever bit into.
Marriage License Clerk Finley
Tharp is better known in social cir
cles. So fer as We know, nobuddy
has ever thought o. him in connec-
ton with even a lawn mower. Dud-
ish an persnickety, he don't even
look like he'd even use a fly swat
ter. We'd be more Inclined Z think
o him in connection with crochetin'.
But he's real man neyerth'les
Once a week. after things begin L
git ripe on his fathers farm, he
makes a trip Z tn country. Some
times he brings home a couple o.
dressed chickens, or a suitcase full
o p'tsters. or some caulifiower, or
some butter. but he never returns
empty handed.
Coroner Wes Moots is perhaps tn
most widely known public official
we've got. an yit he really hain't
known at all. T. look al Yves one
would say that he wuz jest tn usual
stereotyped county official-inefic-
lent. austere. accommodating Z those
that can help him, pompous an ex-
actin about his home. an holdin'
HIS wife IN allegiance. Nothin' could
be more remote from tn truth. Yves
Pussy is at his best in his home.
often dustin tn furniture an in
variably gittin' ais wifes breakfast
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-02-27
STILL HERE WE ARE.

That everything is going to the bow wows-'the
world is going me devil'-has been stock
phrase of pessimstic critics for thousands of
years. They began it before Methuselah was born
but still, here are. not gone there. not going
there; in fact growing better all the time.
There has been good deal of criticism of modern
dancing of late. that only amuses Franklin H.
Giddngs. professor of sociology of Columbia uni
versty Prof. G4ddings. who wrote book called the
History OF Civilization" pretty well-bal-
anced. He says
1.-THE attitude of those who oppose dancing makes
me feel that they are longer young
Whether girls their skirts long short
makes about as much difference as whether man
parts his hair in the middle or on the side.
LAS a matter OF fact. present day morals are
neither substantially higher nor lower than they
were several generations ago."
Evidently Prof. Giddngs takes the position. con-
trary to the notion of some that the world is not
going to the devil. Certainly It is not. Nature has
been working along present lines for some cons. II
anything instead OF our going to the devil would
say the devil is coming to
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-02-27
tn HONEY SIDE O. GREAT MEN

at his home an takes 'em out. tn
accompanying snapshot shows him
Jest after he'd removed a stubborn
screen. Later he planed II off till
1t it perfectly.
Nat Pussy is cannydate fer county
treasurer, an generally regarded as
a loafer. II hain't recalled that he
ever worked. Nobuddy remembers
Of his hAvia' ever been employed.
DE IS jest thought of as a good.
steady loafer, mindin' his own bust
ness. pleasant an sociable an o
good habits. How such an impress
sion ever got such a hold on tn
community It is hard Z understand,
Ger he does quite a few things. Last
week he went downtown twice on
errands fer his wife, an he kin iron
soft collars as good as any woman.
Ever Teller has some hobby, but
well bet we could give anyblddy a
thousan' guesses as Z County Com
missioner Knowlton Plummer's hob
BY an he'd miss IL. Theirs some
him about Knowlton Plummer that
suggests mules an road gradln' an
steam shovels. We associate him
With gravel pits an strong. lathered
cams strainin' ever muscle. We
ant imagine him bein' cleaned up
"a settin' in a house. yet he's do
nestle Z tn core. After wadin'
around IN tn mud all day. he often
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-02-27

tn follerin' little illumination
facts about exceptional people II be
found interestin'. We know too little
about tn great people that serve US.
We're too prone Z regard our public
officials as somehow different from
ordinary mortals-as havin' no do
nestle side or human inclinatons.
Nothin' is further from tn truth, as
tn follerin' items plainly prove.
County Surveyor Steve Dunson is
known only as a surveyor. His home
life has never been an issue.
Whether he's a good provider,
whether he reads. or helps about tn
house. has never bothered tn voters.
While ne Is in good circumstances,
he not infrequently is seen with his
wife, an greases his own universal
joints ever seven hundred miles.
A remarkable story wuz told me
t'day regardin' Andy Mopps, county
treasurer. Taxpayers have allus re-
garded him as an honest, cold, cal
culatin'. businesslike official. Fond
amount o. civic pride. yes. A reader
Of good books. yes. An upright man.
yes. But nobuddy could imagine
Andy Mopps drivin' a nail or movin'
stove. nor would anyone believe
such a thing. II would be impos-
sible Z associate such performances
With him Yet he puts In tn screens
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-02-27
Ignorant Essays
BY J. P. McEVOY

The adjective in the soubriquet,
Crossing Cops" is derived from two
words: cross" meaning lin the
state Of" Hence Crossing Cop"
means one who is always sore.
The one who the Crossing Cop Is
sore at Is you. The reason is be-
cause you are trying to drive across
his crossing. He is put there TO see
that you don't get across and he
isn't the man TO neglect his duty.
Sometimes you manage to evade
his vigilance and get across. In
that case, he is instructed TO insult
you. He does it either by giving
you a nasty look or else by holler-
ing Hey, Wotthaheli" Sometimes
he varies it by hollering, Hey. Who
thahel!"
Crossing Cops are all given the
same training and they learn their
ritual from the same book. Their
vocabulary is a beautiful example of
brevity combined with clearness 1t
consists of-but perhaps 1 can bet
ter explain it in verse.
I've studied crossing coppes
For many weary years,
Their habits and their customs.
Their sorrows and their fears.
I know their eccentricities,
know their language we'll
Their lexicon has just five words,
And one is Whothahel.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-02-27

say I've studied crossing cops
Intensively and long,
And have learned that they are
right,
And 1 am always wrong.
I've learned their manners and their
speech
I know the last too we'll
1t all consists of five small words,
And one is Wherethahel!
I've had a long curriculum
OF all the cops devised,
I've canvassed, probed, and fathomed
them.
I've parsed and analysed;
And 1 have learned their speech
consists
OF sundry phrases swell;
OF Whotthahel and Whenthahel
And Wherethahel and Whythahel
And also Whothahel
Copyright, 1920.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-02-27

NOR.
Thou dost not "snitch" the morn
ing newspaper, nor monopollze II,
leaving me 20 read the advertise
ments upon the back.
Thou dost not fling garments
about the house. nor I'll the por-
tierres with pipe-smoks; neither
dost thou bring unexpected guests
for dinner upon MONDAY evening.
When 1 request thee TO so out
with me, evenings, thou dost not
groan nor yawn, but respondest
cheerfully ard with apparent delight,
and fndest thine own collar.
Thou dost not have to be backed
into a dinner coat nor growl at be-
ing dolled-up.
Behold. fear not squads nor flap
pers! For, other women may pur-
sue thee. and cover thee with bland
ishments. but they cannot lure thee
from me, neither can they vamp
thee!
Blondes and brunettes are all alike
stare after the red-headed damsel.
For, am the first, the last. and
the only woman in thy lifel
Verify, verify, thou fllest my days
with sweetness and light, and all
they life, l shall cherish thee, and
wait upon thee. and feed thee with
bon-bons.
For an husband is a comfort and
necessity.
But thou art a pearl of great price.
Oh my prize Pekingese!
Would that all husbands were like
unto thee, that their day might be
smoother and pleasanter in the Land
Of Matrimo ny.
For, verify, little "Dog-Sense" is
a wonderful thing!
And in matters Of diplomacy, a Pc
kingese far exceedeth an husband!
Selah.
Copyright, 1920.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-02-27
MRS. SOLOMON 81 VS.
By Helen RO1Cland
Being Confessions Of Wife 7OOth

The Love Song Of a Frivolous
Woman. which is Mrs. Solomon's.
Many husbands have known. Be-
loved, but thou excellest them all.
For. 10, an husband is a thing OF
duty-but THOU art a Joy. forever
Alas. an husbands chin is ofttimes
rOugher than a 'rstour" upon the
Boston Post road; but thy chin is al
ways as satin. and smoother than
an oil-stock promoters selling-table.
An husbands hair recedeth from
his forehead. leaving It daily more
intellectual; but thy curling locks
will never disappear. Thou wilt
never show forth bald-spot.
An husband loveth to display his
knowledge Of homework and 10
critlcise the ways OF his wife. But,
In thine eyes, all my ways are won
derful, and all my words are right.
Yea. 1 am 100 per cent Efficient
Unto an husband. "dinner-time" is
any time before midnight; but when
THOU art hidden to meals. thou art
always prompt; and whatsoever ]
put before thee, thou devourest il
with relish and enthusiasm
When 1 speak. thou dost not bury
thine head in the newspaper, but
APPEAREST TO listen with interest
and admiration. Thou art never
bored in my society.
Thou lookest not past me nor
through me nor over my head, but
gazest AT me with the eyes of de-
votion.
When the sound of burglars awak-
eneth me, at night, thou dost not
grunt with displeasure. nor cover UP
thine head saying:
GO to sleep! It's only mice!"
Nay. thou dashest out, bravely,
and routest the enemy, stilling my
fears, and filling my heart with COM
fort.
Thou dost not require to be called
thrice, in the morning, but arises
with the lark and always in good hui
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-02-27
THE TAX A SPUR TO INDUSTRY.

Advocates OF tax reform, municipal state nation
al; well It Is probably useless more than tell the
story. The interests cay "the power 10 tax Is the
rower to destroy" others that the a spur to
Industry" and that Is about as much as Il is wise
say. unless you be put down as chimer-
ioal and a dreamer, In the language OF the latest
popular reproach ike as boIshevik The story
runs this way:
wealthy man of Spokane. Wash. recently pur-
chased several thousand acres Of idle land in Al
6srta, Canada, purely as speculation. surplus
or extra tax is levied idle land in Alberta The
buyer did not know OF this and the bill was
tieagreeable surprise.
He avoided Il BY purchasing the necessary imple-
naents and other farm equlpment-traotor wagons
hErrows. harvesting machinery, fencing material
building supplies Thereby increasing the bust
Of retailers. wholesalers, manufacturers, and
the industrial world generally)-by blowing and
planting wheat (Which hungry world sorely
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-02-27
Eternal Calamity
BY ARTHUR BROOKS BAKER

BY ARTHUR BROOKS BAKER
The younger generation much de-
lights to romp and revel.
They seem to be deliberately going
to the devil.
Their manners are so rough and
raw, their thoughts so light and
jesty;
The girls are full of silly sass, the
boys are tough and chesty.
They gather slang persistcntly AID
can't be made to drop it.
The world is going TO the bad--oh
neighbor, help me stop Il!
But still they say that Grandma wed
about her sixteenth summer;
She made her debut at fourteen, and
Grandma was a hummer.
Your mother did not hesitate phi
Josephine or falter
When in her giddy eighteenth year
she cantered TO the altar.
But still we raise a lusty yell, with
protests frank and plenty
When daughters break our poor old
hearts by marrying at twenty.
It's likely that when Abraham was
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-02-27

young and full Of motions
The wise oldtimers Of the day were
setting forth their notions
That life was going TO the bad with
wickedness and cut-up,
And that creation might as we'll take
down its sign and shut up.
So when the children OF today raise
long and snow-white whiskers
They'll find a lot OF fault with those
who then will be the friskers.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-02-27

needs) and at the OF the year joyousy declared
that he had made $500 on his crop.
The above incident is related illustration of
the way taxation plan like that OF the RaIston-
Nolan bill would make for prosperity. There would
be less wnd-eyed threats among farmers 70 quit
farming if had such a tax-and fewer specula-
tors in vacant city lots.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-02-27
lust HARBINGERS.

When these things to pass we may know
that spring is nigh; even at your door.
When, for instance. after few days. the sport
pages begin to blossom with the from south
ern training camps-and Louie Wolf. day pO
lice reporter the poor baseball slave, has gone
whittier he has been sold.
Straw hats already in millinery shop windows
"a promise of spring and threat against pas
pocketbook.
New spring merchandise is here" sings the de-
partment ad and in the drab days of February
the chant has all the sweetness of Mendelssohn
spring
Ma goes to town and brings home handful Of
documents illustrated with String styles.
The paper-hangers once more advise "Do it now
and the urge wells up again in mas heart
as she consuts the For Rent" and "For Sale" ads
Lenten days serve reminders OF approaching
Easter and the resurrection OF all nature
Congressional seed is in the mails already one
may read occasional advice early planting.
SO passeth the winter of our discomfort.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-02-27

It'll soon be warm enough for the young lady
down the street TO worry about the street light IL
Illuminating the front porch hammock
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-02-27

The fact that the center OF population is in an In
diana cornheld should remind us that much of our
prosperity centers in the crop belt
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-02-27

It is understood that the Indiana law against
flirting is effort make the Hoosier con-
stabules work themselves to death.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-02-27

II you want TO a plump woman half
death weigh her on some junkmen's selling scale
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-02-27

Once we felt much perturbation,
Lest the Radicals and Reds
Should destroy this fair nation,
And bring sorrow on our heads.
But no more this blight satanic
Makes US tremble in our shoes.
For. we've got a brand new panic
Save us from the Sabbath Blues!
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-02-27

A Delaware coon dog freed is quarts Of liquor.
1t takes a pooch find the hooch.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-02-27
Reflections Of
ABGCheIOr Girl

One reason why a man can accom-
plish so much more than a woman in
this life, is that he doesn't spend
half of it in wondering if some other
man is fatter than he is.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-02-27

The will live" often wins where doctors ef-
forts fail.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-02-27
The MezCS- Times

to tell our readers what missed
happening to him in conse-
quence of his defeat at the Dem
ocratic Convention.
Still he is bitter enough that
nobody will be safe from his pen
politicians, celebrities. all who
help make the inauguration
"unpretentious," of Jefferson
ian simplicity" leading up to
the front porch" of the capitol,
Everything Will Be Grist
to Lardner's Laugh Mill
Watch for These Stories
Exclusively in the Ne70S-Tin1eS
MARCH 3rd, 4th and 5th
Phone Main 2l00
Have it Delivered
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-02-27
By Ring ". Lardner

Lardner received a half a vote
the other half of which went to
Irving Cobb,-for nominee for
President at the Democratic
Convention at San Francisco.
Subsequent events, however, has
taken all the bitterness out of it,
and he goes TO Washington for
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-02-27
WOOdrO7O
Wilson S
Place
in
History

By Gen. the Rt. Hon. Jan
Christian SmutS, Premier of the
Union of South Africa, and CO.
laborator with the President on
the League of Nations commits
sion at the Paris Peace confer
ence.
This is supplemental to the
article BY Norman Hapgood,
American, appearing today, and
gives something of the esteem in
which Pres't Wilson is held BY
thinking foreigners who have
not been overcome by Ameri-
partiSanShip, egotism or selfish
ness.
Gen. SmutS has asked that his
article be withheld until the eve
of the Presidents retirement
from office. Watch for it
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-02-27
Wednesday, March End

And next day begins the story
of the Harding inauguraI-the
day before March 3rd), the
event itself (March 4th), and the
morning after-(March 5th),-
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1921-07-27
Insure with John Dawson & Co.
RiIiousness and CONSTELLATION

For years | was troubled with bill
iousness and constipation, which made
life miserable for me. My appetite
failed me. lost my usual force and
vitality. Pepsin preparation and ca
charities only made matters worse.
do not know whore I should have been
today had I not tried Chamberlain,s
Tablets. The tablets relieve the I'll
feeling at once, strengthen the diges-
tive functions, helping the system to
do its work naturally" writes Mrs.
Rosa Potts, Birmingham, Ala.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1921-07-27

One Dollar Saved Represents Ten Dol
lars Earned
The average man does not save to
exceed ten per cent of his earnings.
He must spend nine dollars in living
expenses for every dollar saved. That
being the case he cannot be too care
fu! about unnecessary expenses. Very
often few cents properly invested,
like buying seeds for his garden, will
save several dollars outlay later on.
Il is the same in buying Chambe~'ain's
Cole and Diarrhoea Remedy. It costs
but few cents, and a bottle Of It in
the home often saves Doctors bill Of
several dollars.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1921-07-27

Look for the
Trade Mark

IF you want to put an end to
separator troubles
IF you want to know the
battery will come through with
out punctured, warped, cracked
or carbonized insulation
IF you're looking for that COM
Portable sense of security from
separator-replacement bills
You'll see that the next bat
terry you buy has the Willard
Thread Rubber Trade Mark,
that means Willard Threaded
Rubber Insulation between the
plates.
Come in. Well tell you just
why the Willard Threaded Rub
Der Batteryis such a money saver.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1921-07-27
The Farmers Bank

never tire of telling my friends and
neighbors Of their qualities" writes
Mrs. William Vollmer, Eastwood, N.
Y. When bilious, constipated or troub-
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1921-07-27
II Wouldn't Go Camping Without
Rat-Snap," Says Ray White

"Wife and / spent our vacation
camping last SIMMER, smell of cook
ing brought rats. We went to town,
got some RAT-SNAP, broke up cakes,
put it outside our tent. We got the
rats alright-big fellows" Farmers,
storekeepers, housewives, should use
RAT-SNAP. Three sizes, 35e, 65c,
$125. Sold and guaranteed By o. Z.
Davis.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1921-07-27

led with Indigestion, give them a trial.
They will do you good.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1921-07-27

DIR. r. w. Baldwin, dentist, over
Stoll & Groves. Phone &c..
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1921-07-27

A Splendid Medicine for the Stomach
and Liver
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1921-07-27

Rose Olsen, Chiropractor, Palm,
er School Graduate. Office over Stol
& Groves. Phone 157.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1921-07-27

"Chamberlain's Tablets for the
stomach and liver are spleadid. 1
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1921-07-27
You Guard Against Burglars, But
What About Rats?

Rats steal millions of dollars worht
of grain, chickens, eggs, etc. Destroy
property and are a menace TO health.
If you are troubled with rats, try
RAT-SNAP. IL will surely kill them
prevents doors. Cats or dogs won't
touch it. Comes in cakes. Three
sizes 35c, 65e, SIPS. Sold and guar
anteed by o. E. Davis.
The silver state. [volume] (Winnemucca, Nev.) 1909-1925, 1921-11-10

w. H. Ayres of the Winnemucca Sill
yer State is rapidly getting his Office in
to condition and before long there will
be no sign Of the recent fire that de-
stroyed the plant. Editor Ayres is to
he complimented upon the spirit in
which he has taken the heavy loss and
the people of Winnemucca are to be con-
graduated upon having such progress
sive man at the head of The Silver State
Publishers Auxiliary.
The silver state. [volume] (Winnemucca, Nev.) 1909-1925, 1921-11-10
SUMMONS

VI lE0 Otdtc vi 4Ntfauas III anu III INV
County of Humboldt.
Charlotte Clark, Plaintiff. vs. ]. NJ.
Barrett, Mrs. ]. M. Barrett. wife OF
said ]. NJ. Barrett, Jessie Barrett. Jes-
sic Lewis, Desire Pascal, Nellie Pas
cal. Nellie Mari, james Mari. w. ].
Bell, John Diehl, Ernestine Diehl,
Hilda Dedman. Hilda Diehl. Fred
Diehl, Otto Diehl, William Diehl.
Mary Cooney. James Cooney. Julius
Pedroli, Louise Pedroli. A. Ruck-
teschler; also all other persons I'M
known, claiming any right, title
estate, lien or interest in the real
property described in the complaint
adverse to plaintiffs ownership. or
any cloud upon plaintiffs title thereto.
Defendants.
The State of Nevada sends greet
ings to the said Defendants. and to
Each of Them:
You are hereby summoned to APP
pear within ten days after the service
upon you of this summons IL served
in said County. or within twenty days
II served out of said County but with
in said Judicial District, and In all
other cases within forty days (exclu
sive of the day OF service) and defend
the above entitled action.
This action Is brought to recover Il
judgment declaring and adjudging
that you and each of you have no es-
tate, interest. right. title, lien or
cloud in or on the lands and prem
ises hereinafter described adverse to
the ownership or title of plaintiff
thereto; that the title OF plaintiff Is
good and valid and forever enjoining
and debarring you. and each of you,
from asserting any claim thereto ad-
verse to plaintiff.
Said lands and premises are stu
ated. lying and being in the City OF
Winnemucca, in the County of Hum
boldt. State OF Nevada, and are more
particularly described as follows. to
wit:
Beginning at a point, from which
point the SW. Cor Sec. 20. Il. SO N,
r. SO L. of Mt. Diablo b. and NJ.
bears s. 35 degrees, 81 minis. w. 607.35
feet: thence ~ 81 degrees, 2S Minis.
w. 164.30 feet: thence s. 43 degrees.
SO Minis. W. 5000 feet; thence N.
40 degrees, As minis. w. 1888 feet;
thence N. Is degrees, 35 minis. W.
1890 feet: thence NJ 80 degrees. 04
Minis. f. 1885 feet; thence N. / de-
gree, SO Minis. f. 1000 feet; thence S
SO degrees, IA Minis r. 4S1.1S feet;
thence S. AZ degrees. IL minis. r
1890 feet; thence S. 46 degrees. 10
minis. w. 10000 feet; thence South |
10000 feet: thence s. 40 degrees, So
minis. w. 1000 feet; thence s. So de-
grees, ii minis W. 1927 feet; to said
point or place of beginning, contain
ing 6.002 acres.
Dated August 81. A. d. 1921.
COURT SEAL) ]. w. DAVEY,
Clerk of said Court.
& ROBINS,
Attorneys for Plaintiffs
First publication. October 4. 1921.
Last publication, November l5-Tues.
The silver state. [volume] (Winnemucca, Nev.) 1909-1925, 1921-11-10
TURKEY FOR THANKSGIVING

Home raised turkeys. alive or dressed
Soc per pound. delivered IN Winnemucca.
Collins & Norris, Orovada, New. Nst3p