The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1921-01-18
10 1ONDST0NB FANS.

xV IU0DSXV00 ANCs
NOV. voaldnt II Be avfui-oh. wouldn't IT. !
II Mac I'd really done n sone away to stay!
Oh, such m6urnful sveninss! How We snoula
without his Tombstone co1yums-ws Just
scramble for EN-
The fright he gave was fearful; it made our
i. eyelids glisten. !.
Heaye to. old top: make hearts beat light ANA
WE'LL "look and listen"
We know it's lots Of worry but then YOU wear
So please b good and bide = wee-we1l help
lift your burden. *. ]. Il
THE ice, one reads. 10 not thick enough to
cut. We don't know much about the Ice bust
ness, but its our guess that even IL it we're now
two feet thick that would "cut no ice" In next
summers prices.
But The Argus VIII Not Syndicate
This Department
(From the Davenport Democrat1.
The Argus columist loves to point
'out the typographical errors in The
Democrat. When/we put on comic
sheet the Argus viii furnish it.
MAY We point out another typographical
error in the foregoing. I'VE "lOve" to do it,
you know). "Columnist" is Noah's way OF SPELL
Ing it. We, however, in common with others
Of our ilk, spell it "colyumist."
THAT Won may become better acquainted
with the talents of our Iowa critic. We oner the
following, clipped from His department on the
sport page:
Wilde, Beckett, Wells & Go.
The U. s. A. humbly suggests,
= That in future al disputes.
Between Uncle Sam and Britain,
Be argued out With dukes"
No. there Is no charge for the ad. We be-
lieve in reciprocity.
". A. PEPPER deals in pipeless furnaces,
according to his ad in the Joliet Herald-News.
"Dc you SUPPOSE" inquiries Wee, the Pepper
furnaces save Goals" Probably so-when the
fire is out.
sThe tine has GOMEZ the walrus said,
ITO talk" he stopped to cough
"Dear me-" He snoezed, "Pve caught cold;
Why DID l take ZEN on!
Sir: The time has come when must ask
you q question concerning something, the con-
temptation Of which has caused me many sleep
less nights and corresponding days of anxiety
This is a subject hesitate to speak to any
ono about as know the same trouble which
now agitates me upsets the whole community
Many happy homes have been broken up for the
same cause-and yet must know the worst
II dare not ask Ma Tor she is old-fashioned
tabout these things. In my distress appeal
to you. 1t may surprise you 10 have me turn
/ to you SO nightly and delicate q matter, but
feel you are my friend and will understand.
/ hate, oh so badly, to ask it-but must come
to the point. Do you think it is time for me
to take off my winter undies! =. Awaiting
your valued answer and decision, believe me
yours. ANN NONEMUS.
p s.: / am sorry the typewriter is broken
It will be repaired. "A. n
GREEK general staf officers declare theiI
Troops can capture the Turkish nationalist cap
fital, Angora. in 10 days. Translated into the
lvernaeular what they mean to convey is this
I'VE en- get the Turks goat in less'n two
weeks"
WE'LL, IF THERE'S AN ARTIST ON
OUR STAFF
Since tombstone must possess perpen.
II believe your column. bright with many
rarity
THAT fat Humor uses to excite our disabilities,
Would attain far higher and more striking visi
bilities,
II you would avoid the horizontal way Of writ
ing it,
And permit us to perase it as I'm now inditine
it: