The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-01-16
By JAMES J MONTAGuE

"Ttug nger tc my iittie place in Jersey any time" said Bill. "You'H have no trouble at ali. Crossing New York is a circh."
 But don't like to drive in traffic, . l objected.
 "Oh, that's all darn nonsense Ali yna have 10 do is to drive slow and do what the traffic cops tell you. You ought .c make it in an hour and a half Start at 10 and you'll have an hour and half to spare before dinner"
 So we started Getting to New York was easy enough, or would have been if one of the shoes hadn't blown That delayed us for while and after that We were never quite sure when it was go- ing to blow again, for we patched it, and there was a horrible looking bulge about the size of grape fruit where the patch was put on.
 We reached Manhattan Island via a bridge, and trouble started right in the middle of it. A steamship was coming up the river, and the man whistled for us to keep off the draw.
 But he whistled just too late. The car was nicely astride of the place where the draw is separated from the bridge when the think started to move. I stepped on the gas and we got over, only to be cursed round for foohardiness by the bridge policeman, who really ought to have congratulated me on my skill and presence of mind in keeping the car from dropping into the river.
 It was pleasant to ride on draw bridge We had never done anything like that before and the children es- pecially were delighted But it took time. And to make matters less enjoyable, just as we had swung back and were about to go on our way. another boat whistled an we had another ride.
 BECOME A COLLECTOR
 Then. being nervous l started before the signal and took out a section of the gate The bridge cop was annoyed about that and said so When he couldn't get any material for repartee out of me because I was too scared to talk back, he became furious and gave me a sum- mons. l took it and put it fn my pocket. It was the first of q neat little collection of them that I acquired that day.
 The next thing that happened was in Central park. How it happened I don't know. but I suddenly found myself in the midst of as handsome fleet of high-priced cars as ever were gathered together in show. They were ahead of me, behind me, and to the right and left
 It would have been all right if they were all moving at the same speed but they weren't. The car behind was going faster than ] was. and the car ahead was going slower The only thing that could happen did happen.
 The rear car collided with me gently. but firmly. And the chauffeur, appar ently desiring to brush me aside and be on his way, stepped on the gas.
 My fender brought up violently against the gas tank of the car ahead. Nothing was broken very badly %but the man in the car ahead came back and spoke bitterly to me. Also traffic cop came along on a motorcycle and de- handed my license to drive in New York. He didn't seem surprised when told him I didn't have one. merely asking me if I had ever driven car anywhere before. Then he handed me a summons.
 On Eighth avenue collided with a truck which stopped just in front of me without announcing it's intention to do so. It was loaded with household fur niture, and two chairs detached them selves from somewhere aloft and came down on the hood on my car. The col ored gentleman who had been sitting in