Omaha daily bee., 1921-05-01
Sad Story of Star
Shell Kid and His
Virginia Girl
He Tried Out Absence Theory,
Says Canary Kid, Who Dis
courses on the World and
Presents Another Chapter
of Beautiful Hasher's Mis-.
take"
By H. r. HARRIS.

~ 80 ~. AAAAA>A<AS'
"Y'know," said the Canary Kid,
"as tn Star Shell Kid usetcr say
wen me an i'm WIZ sittin' in TIL
cafes in Parec. 'Absinthe makes tn
heart grow fonder,' wot is also very
true NV absence-fur a VILE"
The kid reflected on the sagacity
Of this statement for several minutes.
"At bout th' absence WIZ very
we'll showed t tn Star Shell Kid
wen we lan's at Newpote News frum
France.
"Th' Star Shell Kid e 'ad a girl at
Newpotc News b'fore e went t
France an overseas e is alters tellin'
everybody wot'd lissen t i'm. wot
wuzn' so many, wot fine girl e 'ad
at Newpote News.
9TH Star Shell Kid e useter say
them French girls is X. 0. fur them
wot likes 'em. but as fur is part ell
JUS take tn III girl wot lives at New
pote News.
All Excited.
"On tn boat comm back tn Star
Shell Kid 'e's all TIL time braggin'
bout them 'Merican girls. specially
wot lives at Newpotc News.
well, we gets off tn boat at
Newport News an TIL Star Shell Kid
is sure all 'xcited. Soon's we gets a
chance t leave tn camp an go down
= tn town, tn Star Shell Kid gotta
go down an ave S wrinkled up
clothes wot bin through the d'lous-
er, all pressed.
"'En tn Star Shell Kid comes
back t camp puhtty soon draggin'
is hobnails long an explainin' at
they tells i'm at her 'ouse at they's
sorry but she's out wit camp q. m.
sarge.
Terribly Sorry.
"'At night me an TIL Star Shell
Kid goes t tn big dance at th' Y. NJ.
c. A. hut an wen tn Kid sees is
girl e rushes up an seq ERE /
amp
"'Oh,' sez tn girl, everybody is
comm home these days. Ain at
nice
"'En tn moosic starts up an TIL
Kid axes fur dance. -
"Turribly sorry she sez, but we
Newpote News girlss as t make it
rule not t dance wit no overseas
sojers as we is 'fraid NV tn cooties.'
En- tn Star Shell Kids girl goes
dancin' off wit tn camp g. m. carge
who, NV course, ain got no chance
NV havin' them awful cooties an TIL
Kid Mex day is swearin' at soon's e
gets outta tn army 'e's gein' back t
France t Yvonne, wot never WIZ
'fraid Nv no cooties.
"Ain' at a sad story" demanded
Canary.
Quite sad" | agreed.
can. boy" continued the Kid, "w'en
yeh get sad 'roun' TIL heart. boy,
ats wen .y're sad an there ain
nothin' goin' t do yeh no good tall.
AT renln's m NV III pome wot I
got"
Whereupon the Kid dove into his
coat pocket and brought out bunch
of newspaper clippings from which
he extracted the following:
It's Gay Old World.
1ts hns gay sso old dd world world when when you're gay
But whether you play
Or go toiling away,
It's sad old world when you're sad.
And a mean old world If you're small; mali;
It's a world full of hate
For the foolish who prate
n hk ae all
It's beautiful world to sec
Or it's dismal in every zone
The thing it must be
in It's gloom its CLEO
Depends on yourself alone.
National Magazine.
"Spcakin' nv mournful thin's,"
continued the Kid, wen / wuz
comm int TIL office | seen yore
sob story writer poundin' on TIL
typewriter wit is raincoat buttoned
up 'roun lis chin t keep frum
ruinin' is new spring suit wit tn
tears C wuz sheddin' over at story
e WIZ writin'.'
"No" / protested.
"Yeah," rejoined the Kid, IAN
wen | reads at story Pm sure
gonna ave bucket an a mop
handy"
"Get out of hcre!'' I exclaimed.
The Kid grinned
oh he suddenly calculated. his
grin vanishing, Il almos' fergets tn
big cereal again. 'Ere's TIL mex
part Wv it."
After | corrected it a bit it ran
as follows:
The Beautiful Hasher's Mistake.
By CANARY KID.