Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1921-09-22
Uncle Johns
Surprise
BY FREDERICK CLARKE
%. 1921. western Newcomer Unionl

man gets to be that old and has a
temper like Uncle Johns he isn't good
for much more And deceitful
Well, don't want to speak i'll Of the
dead, but If his whole life was like
the last year of 1t, when we knew
him, I'm not over sangulne about his
future.
This is how 1t all happened. OF
course Silas and / had heard of
Uncle John all our lives. for we were
cousins before we were married, and
having no children we naturally kept
a warm spot in our hearts for the old
man.
Yes. we'd heard all about that ton
tine years ago and put Ii out of our
minds. We thought 1t was just
story. SO when Uncle John turns up
at the farm on his eighty-eighth birth
day, all ragged like tramp, and hun
cry. as though he didn't know what
food meant, we were naturally an
noyed.
Maria he said--those were his
very words as he sat In the parlor in
HIS dirty, shabby clothes, and we NOR
tally afraid some of the neighbOrs
would come In and see him-'MarIa,
I've come to lay my bones among you.
Will you give me home now that
I'm good for nothing any longerY
$50 we took him in and let him
sleep In the attic. Ate like hog, he
did. I say it's indecent for a man Of
eighty-eight to eat like that
"Oh, that wench Mary Callaghan7
was just coming to her. Mrs. Tomp-
kins. Well, she was poor girl whom
Silas and me had taken pity on out Of
the goodness Of our hearts.
swell, would you believe It, Mary
and the old man struck up the queer
est kind OF friendship. She used to
steal pies and things for him out of
the kitchen when / was away
"'Well, Maria said Silas, when
told him l couldn't do anything with
her, I guess them paupers just nat
urally takes to one another
well = 1t was on the old mans
eightyZninth birthday, and he hadn't
done chore for two days, and Silas
spoke up to him.
"'Uncle john he said, I guess we
can't keep you for nothing. You
never was worth anything to me and
now you'd best apply to the poor
house,
'PoorhouseY says Uncle John.
looking kind of surprised. Why,
nephew. I'm eighty-nine today, and
when mans eighty-nine he's supposed
to be dead, and I've got twenty thou
sand dollars due me this morning.
I'm expecting 1t any minute
well, you could have knocked me
down with feather. But this Is
what had happened. 1t was that old
tontne. 1t seems that sixty years be-
fore Uncle John and ten other young
men had each put five hundred dollars
into what they called tontine, which
meant that the one that lived the
longest of them all got the whole of
the money with the accumulated in
terest on his eighty-ninth birthday.
And sure enough it came that
hioi Anu wv Not hiI'N, iNt uttNh
in the queerest way. He forgot all
about our kindness to him and want
ed to go off and enjoy himself.
swell, after that Uncle John stayed
on with us. and of course we. couldn't
let an old man like that do any work.
He Just mooned about the farm.
smoking his pipe and eating his head
off. and seeming To grow younger
every day. Took dislike to Mary,
too I'd thought of getting rid of her,
hut Uncle John wouldn't hear of that.
Keep her, the good-for-nothing
wench.' he said, TN make her work
But Mary didn't seem to care.
"Once. when she'd gone over 10
Long Fails to do some marketing for
me and wasn't hack In time. Uncle
John got 50 mad with her he wouldn't
he satisfied till Silas let him take the
buggy ana drive in after her They
came hack about eight in the eve
ming. and II you'd heard the language
he was using to her when they got ont
Of the cart II would have warmed your
heart And the hussy was laughing
Didn't care hit--iust laughed
However. Silas got him to make
his Will a month before he died. and
he left everything Ia me. and Silas got
II In black and white and took IL In
TO his lawyer. We thought we had
done our duty then. and so we Just
folded our hands and waited.
"well, Mrs, Tompkins. the end
came very sudden. Apoplexy, the doe
tor said. And would you believe IT,
the old rake had made second win
the day after he gave his first to Silas
and In II he left us ninety-two dollars
apiece for board and lodging and com
forts. and the rest went TO my dear
wife. Mary Callaghan smith,. THEY'D
got married that day at Long Falls.
Eyes. Mrs. Tompkins. the deceitful-
ness of some old men is past reckon
Ing. and the only charitable thing To
do is 60 forget about II. Besides Mrs.
Smith has the mortgage on our farm,