davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-04-01
LUKE M'LUKE SAYS

When the daily before going out kiss gets to be a quick peck at the side of the jaw, the honeymoon has. gone to the races.
 Even If you let your wife have her own way she'll find some excuse for starting battle every now and then.
 A woman certainly hates to get old enough to be justified in lying about her age.
 Distance doesn't lend enchantment to the view when your best girl gets on her high horse and becomes distant.
 A man feels that his wife and his children should behave themselves. He figures that he can do the shining for the whole family.
 Some prayers are so long that they bless everything but English sparrows and raisin jack.
 Funny how wife knows there is a hole in her, husbands pants pocket when she doesn't know that there is a hole in the seat of his pants.
 The kind of girl who thinks no man is good enough for her is kind of arred when she discovers that the men are satisfied to let it go at that.
 It is all right for girl to believe that the face should be left exposed. The trouble is that she imagines her face runs all the way down to the wish gone.
 Some of these days the Anti Every thing league agents will be arresting bullfrogs because said bullfrogs are full of hops.
 man usually waits until he hasn't much time left before he begins to learn how to save it. And. believe us, sister, most of the long faced brethren are not as indig- nant about low-necked waists and high-necked skirts as theyq pretend to be-
 Copyright. 1s21.l
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-04-01

From the Kansas City Star.
 W1{HE do not ask where H. G. WV Wells gets his ideas, but
 where does he dip his pen that it writes with a fluid so clear, so flowing so sparkling? Many readers of Wells, which is to say many admir- CTS. must have asked themselves what it is about the mans writing that strikes and even convinces, the mind without much appearance of argument. The inquiry is worth considering, for the writers who have the secret are comparatively few.
 If the quality of MT. Wells writing that gives it it's distinction could be described in a word perhaps the word would be "cIearness." He is able to ment by no means common among writers, and perhaps the reason 1t is not common is because. writers who know themselves what they mean are not common. MT. Wells without ques- tion has cleared his own mind of all doubt about what he means before he begins on the mind of the reader. He tells us in the introductionNo his re- markable article in the latest number of the Saturday Evening Post that he rewrote it several times. In that state ment probably he has said everything that commentator could possibly say in any attempt to account for. his success in conveying his ideas to the readers mind. Why did he rewrite his article? Not to recast the ideas in it, for they were firmly fixed in his thought as can be easily traced He rewrote it in the unwearied and pain stalking purpose to make what was plain to him plain to his reader. He could not be satisfied until he was | sure his reader was left free from the possibility of doubt.
 This then is MT. Wells secret as it is that of every writer who compels atten tion--for that really is what a writer has to do if he would have it-- or who is said, somewhat meaningless ly as rule. to have style or charm.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-04-01

One of Them, in London Daily Mail. 60 HERE is glamour and a roman
 tic touch about the words South
 S Sea Island trader that appeals to the eternal boy in all of us But how very few people actually know now q white man trades in the South Seas and what he trades in.
 Conditions are pretty much the same probably in all the Pacific island groups, but what follows refers more partic- ularly to the British Solomon Islands which lie to the east of New Guinea and where cannibalism and head hunt ing are still rife though confined now almost entirely to the islands of Ma laita and Choiseul.
 Let us presume that our trader has been established for 10 or 13 years, that his cocoanut palms arc in full bearing and that the trading station, whence he had derived his only income for the eight or nine years during which he has had to await the first yield of copra or dried cocoanut from his plantation, is in good working order
 His trading stock is large and varied HeA has continually to renew from Syd- ney. New South Wales, his supplies of calicoes or printed cottons. leather belts, axes. bars of soap. knives, small mir TOTS, cake tobacco. matches, colored beads, cheap blankets. nails, scented soap, hair oil, mouth organs, whistles, needles, fish hooks. fishing lines. cheap rings and razors.
 He will have a certain amount of trade with the natives in his employ and with these who come from nearby villages in their canoes, but the bulk of his busl- ness is done by his little trading schoon- CT, fitted with auxiliary petrol motors. This boat is turned into traveiing store and the trader or his head boy makes frequent trips to outlying native villages and islands. where he anchors and is visited by the local chief and inhabitants, who come off in their canoes.
 When he is trading among the more isolated and savage portions of the group, such s Malaita and Choiseul, only a few natives are allowed aboard at enc time, and all weapons must be left in their canoes alongside. White men have been murdered owing to the relaxing of these precautions.
 Payment by the natives is made in ccpra, though sometimes actual money passes.
 Copra is sold in strings-2o nuts n
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-04-01

in regaining his throne, the monarch ists of Germany would be encouraged to start a revolution in favor of the Hohenzollerns. The present unsettled situation in Germany would be favora- ble to a monarchist plot.
 However, the restoration of the Hapsburgs and the Hohenzollerns is unlikely. It is probable that Charles, who had the courage to attempt a coup which the craven Hohenzollerns would not have dared to undertake in Germany, will soon be on his way to Spain and permanent exile.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-04-01
More Important


 Rotary certainly does come first with Rotarians," said Morris W. Bush. This was proven during the recent conference here.
 When the committee started plans for the conference, the roster of all clubs in the district was divided &C., cording to their classification and the names were given to men in the same classification of the local club. wrote to man of Sheffield whose classfi- cation was the same as mine and urged him to attend the conference. He replied that his son was to be married in Illinois on March 2S, and he and his wife were going to attend the wedding. I then wrote to him ani told him to bring his son here and let him get married here and he could attend the conference as we'll as the wedding.
 Well, the other day he walked up to me and said. T just wanted to tell you I was here.' Of course. I was anxious to know about the wedding and asked about it. He told me that he and his wife decided it wasn't nec- essary for them to go to the wedding and they persuaded the son to have a quiet wedding. which he agreed to do, and then the Rotarian came to Bir- mingham to the Rotary conference.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-04-01
A Permanent Exhibit

''The Own Your Own Home exposi- ton in the chamber this week has convinced me of the importance of A permanent exhibit of goods manufac- tured in Birmingham" said M. P. Northington. T am long time resi- dent of this city, yet I confess that I have seen at this exposition things that I did not know were made in Birmingham except in desultory kind of way. Some. indeed, did not know were made here at all.
 ''If I do not know what is made in Birmingham, there are others who do not. I had no conception, for instance. of the beautiful effects produced by hollow tile and brick in mbination. The slag brick now being made at Ensley and shown in form of a mantel is a revelation.
 "A permanent exhibit in permanent home is the thing we ought to have"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-04-01
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
 AND ELSEWHERE
Rush for Licenses

"Chauffeurs who have failed to pay their state and county licenses for the operating of automobiles are certainly coming in now" said 0. S. Finch, coun- ty license inspector. There are more than 1000 who failed to secure this license and we have started ar resting all delinquents which is bring ing them all in.
 Tt has been necessary for me to telephone to Montgomery. for several hundred additional license tags which will be here by tomorrow"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-04-01
Swat the Flies

q am glad to see the move to fight the flies" declared o. H. Horton. it's work this early in the season, it necessarily follows that a multitude of flies will be prematurely murdered.
 Although this drive means an in humane slaughter of the insects. hardly believe there will be any pro- test against such action on the part of pr. Bowling and the members of his department
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-04-01
WORDS FAILED HIM
Cincinnati Enquirer.

From the Cincinnati Enquirer
 The enraptured lover and his corn fed sweetheart were walking down tho street, arm in arm. They passed fat man with face like a concrete mixer.
 You are venus,' he sighed.
 "Am I as lovely as Hebe?" she cooed.
 He looked at the fat man and then at his girl. but he did not reply. He couldn't-Cyrus Corntassel.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-04-01
* < *
Poem to Be Found
 in Many Scrapbooks

7NHE AGE-HERALD publishes in
 it's poetry corner today poem which is regarded by many critics as a perfect lyric. It has been "going the rounds" of newspapers for years, but when clipped by the exchange eui- tor is was credited to Pearson's mag azine. If any plagiarist succeeded in selling this poem to Pearson's the edi- tor who accepted it must have been holding.
 Herbert Trench, the Irish poet who ", Cte the lines entitled "I Heard a Soldier" has a considerable volume of verse to his credit, but it is proba- ble that this poem is more widely known than anything else he ever wrote. It appears in what is perhaps the finest collection of poetry ever compiled, the 10-volume Worlds Best Poetry" edited by an imposing list of literary celebrities and pub lished by Nelson. There is scarcely a worth while bit tf verse in any language that is not found in this col lection.
 There are certain poems that are almost continuously "going the rounds" of newspapers. They thus become familiar to millions of read CTS who would otherwise never know of their existence. For this reason Herbert Trench's lyric has place of honor in countless scrapbooks, as we'll as in anthoiogies.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-04-01
APRIL.

The woodland trails are calling me. are calling me to go Upon the quest that haply leads to any goal or none; To wander where earth's face is fair and fragrant breezes blow And blooms uplift their lovely heads to greet my lord the sun.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-04-01
I HEARD A SOLDIER

By Herbert Trench
 I heard soldier. sing some trifle
 Out in the sun-dried veldt alone, He lay and cleaned his grimy rifle
 Idly, behind a stone; If after death. love, comes waking And in their camp so dark and still The men of dust hear bugles. breaking Their halt upon the hill. ITO me the slow and silver pealing ' That then the last high trumpet pouN Shall softer than the dawn come ste#
 ing, H For. with it's call, comes yours." What grief of love had he to stifle.
 Basking so idly by his stone, That grimy soldier with his rifle X Out in the veldt alone? L
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-04-01

mistakes of former administration. The duty of all is to bend every effort u straighten out the tangles remain ing over from the World war.
 It is to be hoped that the visit of Viviani will be as fruitful of good as that of another Frenchman was century and half ago.
 In writing the history of our navy during the World war that gallant sea dog, Josephus Daniels. is compelled to use the pronoun of the first person singular.
 Senator Smoot says he never goes to baseball games or plays golf and has never taken vacation. A man like that is bound to have reactionary ten dencies.
 soy mag dLlHe WTlter, IS getting ready for war with America. Before striking Japan should stop to consider where she's apt to be when it's over
 < < F
 Montgomery bootleggers are said to be hiring a chemist to test their whisky and adding his fee to the price charged consumer. The consumer always pays.
 President Harding's hand is reported swollen from shaking hands with call CTS. If visitors from Ohio were elimi- mated it might soon regain its normal size
 The greatest show on earth" has decided to abandon street parades. The fellow who plays the steam calliope is going to lose his Job
 !. # f
 That 1Syear-old Alabama boy who was kidnapped after marrying a widow with four children may live to thank the kidnappers.
 Wouldn't it be inapropos, we wonder. to ask if any motion picture producer has approached Fred Beauvais with a contract?
 Peonage on Georgia farms is bad enough. but dispensing with a union grave digger when burying the victims is even worse.
 A Cleveland gunman under arrest has lost his bravado. Maybe Cleveland is more strict in dealing with it's gunmen than Chicago. noted Englishman says he doesn't believe England will ever go dry. If it does, France will be just across the channel.
 A great many statesmen stopped at Paris during the peace conference who didn't have much to do with making peace.
 Shantung produces first rate fight ing men. That's another reason why Japan coveted shantung and got it. < E g To the man who lacks the home building instinct bungalow on a hill ] Is a bungalow and nothing more
 It must be hard for a doctor to tell millionaire patient that he can't have whisky, prescription. E E E
 Incidentally. Rene viviani doesn' look at all like the musical comedy Frenchman. | * > =
 At any rate there will be no sudder departures from the Harding cabinet.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-04-01
Light Fifth Avenue

T am algd to lend my full indorse- ment to the plan to light Fifth ave- nue, north, from the terminal station to the Tutwiler hotel,'' declared P. Y. Whitman. "It is something which shoud have been done long ago.
 whenever visitor gets off a train at our s2,OoO, oooo station, his estima- ton of Birmingham bounds high. But when he reaches our thoroughfare leading to the heart of the city, his opinion slides down the scale.
 "As matter of civic improvement, organizations of the city should push this suggestion to concrete fact"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-04-01
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
AN 1NHUMAN SPEAKER.

AN INHUMAN SPEAKER. What was the subject of the lecturer Mans Inhumanlty to Man." "Convincing2" Decidedly. I was punished f5r an hour and half"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-04-01
THE PRESIDENTS DOG.

Here's to you "Caswell Laddie Boy" A dog of high degree; You must enjoy without annoy
 Canine felicity. But don't you ever long to sport
 With CUTS of low degree, ;. Or have a spat with a tabby cat
 And chase her up a tree?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-04-01

NOTHING TO IT. If on the street You chance to meet A pinkish pachyderm. Don't shriek with fear, But lend an ear
 To what wise men affirm. Who drinketh long Of liquors strong Can see most anything, From snakes, I ween, And monkeys green, To hippos on the wing.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-04-01
HOPELESS QUEST.

HOPELESS QUEST. Mrs. Wapleigh spends great deal Of her time at beauty parlors." "All the beauty doctors in the world couldn't make her beautiful" Maybe not, but she seems determined to try at least half of them"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-04-01
x = War Clouds Gathering in Southeastern Europe

Tn Southeastern Europe
 TTHE attempt of former Emperor J Charles to regain the throne of Hungary threatens to precipitate an other war in Europe. When he made his dramatic appearance on Hunga- rian soil it was reported that he had failed to arouse any enthusiasm, but later dispatches indicate considera- ble movement in his favor.
 The love of kings dies hard in some of the old world countries. Charles is not a bad sort, as monarchs go, and had the dual empire not become involved in the World war, a disas- ter for which Charles himself was not held personally to blame, he would undoubtedly have been one of the most popular sovereigns in Europe.
 With Czecho- o-Slovakia, Rumania and Jugo-Slavia demanding that Charles be expelled, and the allies un- favorable to his cause, even if he won to his support what is left of the kingdom of Hungary his troubles would not be ended. In a short while, probably "A hours, it will be known whether his attempt will be nippei in the bud or will result in a strug- gle between the monarchists and re- publicans.
 One factor that may help Charles in winning adherents is the economic and political plight of Hungary When people. are suffering all the evil effects of war, as the Hungarians are suffering, they are apt to rally .o the standard of any leader who prom ises improvement in their condition, regardless of his ability to fulfill their hopes. Conditions in Hungary could hardly be worse and revolution thrives on unrest. Charles and his advisers probably decided that it was snow or never"
 In the meantime, the Hohenzollerns are closely watching developments ir Hungary. If Charles should succeed
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-04-01
Different Viewpoints

Tt was funny to hear the different remarks about the forwardness and the backwardness of spring among the visiting Rotarians, says Sol Jacobs
 Those who came from the north Of us were constantly expressing sur prise at the green grass, the leafy trees, the blooming flowers while those from the south were wondering why things hadn't advanced more.
 The fellows from the north came with heavy clothes and overcoats while the Floridians were garbed in straw hats and summer clothes. I felt mighty sorry for the ones caught out with light clothes as the winds seemed to chill even those who were prepared for cold weather"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-04-01
ALL SET.

Are you ready to go to trial?'
 Sure" said the lawyer for the fair defendant. We've just closed contract with the motion picture people"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-04-01
HIS EXCUSE.
THE SPRING POETS.

THE SPRING POETS. Let bards rejoice OCT springs advance And put their souls in verse; But reams of stuff at which we glance' Yet gods, could not be worse
 PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-04-01
There Is Hopefulness in
 Visit of Rene Viviani

TNHE mere fact that former Pre- ll mier Viviani is in Washington to confer with President Harding and the state department about European affairs is encouraging. His presence is believed to indicate the disposition of the allies to meet this country half way in any measures that may be adopted for the salvation of the in ternational fabric.
 Whatever may have been right or wrong in what has been done to re- habilitate the world, the question now is not to fix praise or blame upon past conduct but to pe.xect the earliest possible arrangements which in the light of present conditions and neces- sities, will bring about the full resto- ration of peace and the resuscitation of business.
 It is not the part of democrats ir Congress to stand in the way of any thing wise that the republican admin istration evolves for getting the world back on normal basis. It is not fol the republicans to waste time criti. cizing what they may regard as the
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-04-01

BACK TO NORMALCY. Another wage-earner seems to have come to his senses"
 How so?"
 Here's the advertisement of a man who offers to sell at bargain dozen silk shirts bought during the s. 8. era and never worn"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-04-01

WANTED THEM PRESSED From the Boston Transcript.
 A visiting clergyman was conducting an experience meeting at colored church in the, south. and a woman arose and bore witness to the preciousness of ner religion as light bringer and . comfort giver.
 That's good, sister. said the minis ter. But how about the practical side? Does your religion make you strive to prepare your husband a good dinner? Does it make you look after him in every way?"
 As he paused he felt a yank at his coat tails and heard the colored deacon whisper ardently: Press dem ques- tions, doctor; press dem questions. Oats my wife,"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-04-01
Silly Statement Made by
 Senator MediIl Mccormick

@ ENATOR MEDILL MCCORMICK, 0 when asked to discuss the Lan- sing interpretation of the Versailles peace conference and the part played in it by former President Woodrow Wilson, with fatuous complacency re- marked, "The world has already for gotten MT. Wilson"
 It is difficult to retain respect for man holding high place in the nation who is guilty of such a false and stupid statement. Woodrow Will son has not been forgotten either by friend or foe. It is impossible to approach any of the great problems facing this country and the other na- tions without consideration of Will sonian policies and the part played by Woodrow Wilson throughout the war and in affairs left over from the war and bequeathed by him to his suc- cessors for bringing to successful conclusion.
 It were better for Senator McCor- mick's reputation, both as man of sense and one appreciative of the ordinary amenities of life if he had contented himself with the silence that Senator Lodge has maintained.
 Senator Lodge has hated Woodrow Wilson with hate second probably only to that of Senator Reed of Mis- souri, yet he has not been and will not be guilty of making fool of himself by saying that Woodrow Wilson has been forgotten or pre- tending that he has passed from the public mind.
 Certainly Senator McCormick's dec laration that he is now cipher in the thought of the nation will not make Mir. Wilson one.
 TIL T. H~A1e,,I-. :~
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-04-01
LOW STATE OF CULTURE.

LOW STATE OF CULTURE. T have here poem in Latin" said the college professor who was sojourn. ing in Chiggersville- I'm afraid I can't use it." said the editor of the Clarion. "Why not?'
 "The only subscribers to the Clarion who know any Latin are old Dr. Trotter and the druggist who fills his prescrip- tions."
 HIS EXCUSE. 'He deserted his wife and nine chi- dren?'' "He did"
 "Did he offer any excuse?" 'Yes she weighed 1SO pounds and had blonde hair"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-04-01
WANTED THEM PRESSED

At any rate there will be no sudde departures from the Harding cabinet.
Pueblo chieftain., 1921-04-24

ter snys he reached for 4 NJ
volver in a po..et Of the ca: door
and the stranger then fred four
times. One shot hit Winters
wrist Another pierced Misa
Barton's breast. She died littla
later in a farm house. Winter
identified the man who did ths
shooting as Dennis Chester, a
known "stick-up" man. from
police photos. Chestcr's attor-
ncys say ie's being "ra.lroaded."