The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-08-14

To be a movie cop you have to have flat feet, uniform, star and d nice disposition. Sometimes, when you hunt criminal comedians in herds, like wolves, you also have to havo endurance. No movie cop who is short of breath or out of condition can chase a fugitive up three flights of stairs. over two roofs, down f,le escape and through coal hole into a cellar. Yet these things are likely to be required of him a t any minute.
 You do not need to be especially intelligent to be movie cop. In fact, intelligence would be rather q landi cap in your calling. IT your mind was sufficiently alert to know that a burglar means to trip you up when he inserts a stick between your feet, you would be of very little value as a movie cop.
 Also, you would be practically use less if you dreamed that the pue2ose of the small boy in approaching you with a can of molasses was to pour it down your neck.
 Sympathy and understanding of peoples troubles is quite essential When the hero, who has just broken out of prison, tells you that he mere ly broke out for the purpose of going to the governor. proving his mo cence and getting a pardon, you must believe him implicitly.
 A cautious, suspicious nature would be disposed to question a statemen. of this kind Many cops would be hard -hearted enough to ask the hero to come back with him to the lwarden's office and telephones the governor for the pardon before ,eav- ing the prison But that would pre- vent the hero from being brntally re- captured by the villain, who is a plain clothes detective, and destroy the unities of the play. A movie c1 p who would do anything whatever to destroy the unities of the play never I holds his job very long.
 When you see the villain with a torch. in the act of setting fire to he lheroine's house because she has told ihim that She would rather die than he his. you must walk in the opposite direction.s swinging your club behind your back.
 This gives the villain an opportuni- ty to do his fiendish work. and saves him from the embarrassment he would naturally feel if compelled to lcommit arson in the first degree in the presence of an officer of the law. U Something Expensive
 .ti IT you are dlSut m d Sntdfi tOWn where mortgage foreclosures are the principal FSindoor sport you must stand by with stern face till the old lskinflnt banker is about to sell the 4 widows home over her head.
 Then you must reach in your
 pocket for large rollsof bills pee i off enough of them to satisfy the
 mortgage and when the widow falls
 on your neck. tell her you have
 simply done your duty. This, ot
 course. is going to be expensive, but
 you know that the heroine's father
 who owns gold mine is going to re-
 ward you in another scene with $100,
 ooo-presumably for letting the vii
 lain set fire to his house. so you
 needn't worry.
 When the chief, offers to promote you for not arresting his son fci speeding in his Rolls Royce, you must tell him that you would rather be plain patrolman than polluted plutocrat. This may not be the case but you will not be committed by the subtitle which sets it's forth, and car go round privately afterward .ind ac- cept the promotion.
 If you find yourself in a situation which requires shooting, you mus