Norwich bulletin., 1921-06-17
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lfhere Isr't a particle ek need fer saybedy's being bs1ahsaaea any more stassd the restless man.
 Dbut. nsvuthsless. I sm bai1i" ob- isesed the man with the billiard eah head. AYnu eAn't get around that ab- soiute fact and you needn't % and tsii me nay badness is merely mental ana doeant exist or anything like that hacatiea i nave thouaands Of dollars of receanted biiis for hair tcnics and electrical manage and that sort or thinK!s egtingi" exiea the yuung woman with hef matrimonial eye on the restless man. "Do tell us what you mean Ar. FlabbertonI"
 "1ii you have to do." he pronoune- ed. "is to yank yaur hair and yank 1t hard and"
 'sWhat if you haven't a spear of hair to yank7" protested the man with the | billiard ball head. distgustedly.
 'Ldsten," insisted the restless man. | T heard lecture the last night which explained in words Of one syllable how l to become fair and young, beautiful l and wealthy no matter if you were 50 | years old and residing in the poor 1 house, and the rosy handsome gentle | man who was towering us with all this knowledge incidentally explained about | the hair proposition.
 "AI over the audience you could see | people slying tugging at their hair experimentally, and I'll bet that the | minute they got home they raced to their mirrors to see if new fuzz had started. First you seize your hair in hardfuls down near the roots-- A L.. ~azHe, n~IT -1asw lively asked the young woman with scarcely any wrinkles. What dc you do about that MT FlabbertonT T suppose" said that gentleman af- ter cogitRtion, that you would get another marcel-wouldn't you7 Then you pull hard till it hurts and the in- dignant blood. rushing up to find out the cause of the disturbance. goes to work building more hair automatically and before 1t realizes what has hap pened Is steadily on the job as in the days of your youth and then the pub lie looks at you and shouts, Oh, see the beautiful hair on the ladyI or gent as the case may be. Nothing is go much admired as beautiful hair-'
 When I was . little gi-l," archly tn- terpolated the young woman, my hair was a perfect gold in hue and people used to stop my mother on the street l | and"
 You don't say!" the baldheaded man said. Hair does change, doesn't 1t Stil your better off than if you didn't have any of course. Women have suct an advantage, what with switches ana puffs@"
 Anybody broke in the young wo. man with some force, anybody at al that knew anything could tell that ev- cry hair on my head is my owni Wh! have three times as much hair al | most girls my age"
 ! "Oh, after we're 30 we can't expec to have hair as we did when we wer, young," soothingly said the baldhead
 cd man. "But 1 don't take much stool in your scheme, Flabbertoni It sound to simple to be true. for one thing
 and then think of the work of tryinj
 to pull your own hair-it would be lik
 lifting oneself up by the bootstrap
 A married man would have no trcubl
 because he could easily get his wifi
 to yank 1t for him-by the way hoy
 did your professor explain the iarg
 prevalence of baldheaded married me- who suffer from constant hairpulling? .? \ T think you are just awful, MT. Cir
 dle," protested the young woman, il
 pretty indignation, looking at him re proachfuily. '"To hear you talk, on
 would think matrimony was dreadful. II Well. the dtvorces still keep up,
 said the restless man, with firmness
 T think there is sense in this theor,
 and from now on am going to hay
 hafrpulling seance every night and i1
 one year shall be the envied and ad
 mired of the town and the rest o
 you poor fish win be ashamed of you \ gibes and teers."
 If you spend five minutes every da
 pulling your hair" insisted the bald 5 headed man ,scornfully "in one year [ time you will have wasted thirty per K fectly good hours in which you coul
 have learned the Eskimo language (
 something useful"
 Anyhow" persisted the bald ma-
 the professor had a marvellous crop (
 hair and he said fifteen years ago b
 owned only six spears!"
 "Honest?~ gasped the baidbeade