Iron County news. [volume] (Hurley, Wis.) 1913-1950, 1921-08-06

beak and stiu be
q teetotaler. am not on intimate
terms with Mr. Origins, although I
call al his store now and then 10 pur-
chase some Of his cigars. which are
made Of ensiIage. He sells the worst
smokes in this town, and should be re-
buked for that. but Id never suspect
him OF being an inebriate.
HE might become one II 1t hap
pened 10 rain gin some night, and he
had barrel under the rainspour. but
so long as hrewater costs money there
isn't much danger Of Mr.. Origins
going astray. He is the most passion
ately economical man / ever saw. Ills
respect for q penny is abnormal. \
week or Two ago l bought q cigar al
his remnant counter, and was short
one cent when l paid for il. told him
I'd pay the cent the next time /
dropped il, and l fully intended 10,
but 1 forgot 10 drop IN for several
days. During that period. Mrs. Jiggers,
/ met him On tie street several times,
and he boAed Inc FOR that cent with
tears in his eyes. At every encounter
a man o. thar character WON'T waste
any money "A Tior0us living You n&v
paste that III your Sunday bonnet, my
dear Mrs. Jigsgers Tor your guidance
when you are trying 10 size up the
caliber Of your friends and acqu4int-
ances.
Il met Mr.. Octagon on the street ID
day and he told ue q moving tale Illus
trating the unwisdom of jumping 10
conclusions. The other evening ggheu
he stepped onto the front porch to- see
if the newspaper had come, he found a
sample package OF SNUFF. which had
been left there by some immoral dis
tributor.
Mr.. Octagon had never taken a
pinch OF snuff in his life, and he was
curious to know what the effects were.
Curiosity, l may remark incidentally,
is another weakness responsible Tor
much trouble and suffering, and l trust
you will guard against it hereafter,
Mrs. Jiggers. 1t leads elderly land
ladies TO ransack the trunks OF their
boarders and read old letters which
were not meant for alien eyes. The
fact that you are blushing shows that
you are not entirely ealloused.
We'll, Mr.. Octagon put the packet
Of snuff in his vest pocket and sat
around the fire until his wife left the
room on some errand, and then he tore
open the paper and inhaled a few
grains of the stun. He says he
thought he would sneeze the top OF his
head off. and dislocate his ears. He
who0ped and kerchooed until you
could have heard him half a mile
away, and then his wife came rushing
in.
"'Ebenezer Octagon,' said she you
go TO bed this minute or you'll be down
with pneumonia tomorrow. Don't stop
n argue--l won't hear a word on
with you"
"Octagon couldn't get in word, and
didn't want to very much. being
ashamed 10 have his wife know he was
experimenting with snuff; so he trun-
died off to bed at seven o'clock in the
evening, and his wife rubbed goose
grease all over his neck and chest and
piled 800 pounds Of blankets on him,
and made him drink three or four gall
Ions of yarb tea that -tasted like the
morning after the Fourth of July, and
bic lay there sweating all night, the
most miserable man in town, all be-
cause his w. possessed the feminine
weakness for jumping to conclusions.
so let US be on our guard against
such mental infirmties, Mrs. Jiggers,
and meanwhile l would suggest that
you repleniSh the maple strip pitcher.
These pancakes are TOO dry and dusty
to eat without a lubricant"