The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1921-11-13

what IN tarnation she was dom out
at that time O. night"
well, go on. What did she say7"
demanded Anderson as Mr.. Loop
paused to wipe his forehead.
"She-insulted me-" said Mr.. Loop.
Howl" inquired Marshal Crow
skeptica1ly,
"She called me a skunk"
Mr.. Crow was silent for some time,
tugging at his whiskers. He stared
intently at the upper corner OF DR..
Browns cottage. His lip twitched
slightly. Presently, feeling that he
could trust his voice. he asked:
why don't you offer reward,
Liff?"
'I thought of dom that" said Mr..
Loop, but a trifie half-heartedly.
''If you offer big enough reward,
I'll find out who the Teller is,'' said
Anderson. " Course, you understand
it amt my duty as marshal to ferret
out matrimonial mysteries. I'd have
to tackle It in my capacity as a
private detective. And you couldn't
hardly expect me to do all this extry
work without bein' paid fer 1t. -
Mr.. Loop scratched his head.
1--WE been thinkin' It over, an /
believe I'd ruther git my divorce
without KNOWN who's the cause OF
it. The way 1t is now. I'm on friendly
terms with every man in town, an
I'd like to stay that way. II would
be mighty unpleasant to meet one of
your friends on the street an not be
able to speak to him. Long as I don't
know, why"
wait minute. LII Loop" broke
in Anderson sternly. Don't say any
thing more. All l got to say is that
it wasn't you your wife insulted when
she called you a skunk. Good morn
in. sir"
Briefly, Mr.. Loops fifth matri-
monial experience had been in the
strietest sense, a venture. After four
discouraging failures in the effort to
obtain a durable wife from among
the young women of Tinkletown and
| vicinity, he had resolved to go farther
aheld for his fifth. So he advertised
through matrimonial bureau for the
sort of wife he might reasonably de-
pend upon to survive the rigors of
climate, industry and thrift. He made
it plain that the lucky applicant
would have to be a robust creature,
white, sound of lung and limb, not
more than thirty. and experienced in
domestic economy. Nationality no
object. Mr.. Loops idea of the mean
ing of domestic economy was In
tensely literal. Also she would have
to pay her own railroad fare to Boggs
City, no matter whence she came.
the same to be refunded in case she
proved acceptable. He described him
self as a widower<of means, young in
spirit, thorugh somewhat past middle
age, of attractive personality and an
Experienced husband.
The present Mrs. Loop was the re-
suit of this spirit of enterprise on his
part. She came from Hoboken, New
Jersey, and her name was Anna
Petersen before 1t was altered to
Loop. She more than fulfilled the re-
quirements. AS Mr.. Loop himself
proclaimed, there wasn't "a robuster
woman in Bramble County; she was
exceedingly sound of lung, and
him more than anything else she was
a Swede. He had always heard that
the Swedish women were the most
frugal, the most industrious, and a
shade more amenable to male author
! ity than any others.
Anna was a towering, rather over
developed female. She revealed such
astonishing propensities for work
j that she had been bride but little
more than a week when Eliphalet de-
fcided that he could dispense with the
services of hired man. A little
later he discovered, much to his sur
prise. that there really wasn't quite
enough work about the house to keep
her occupied all the time, SO he al
Flowed her to take over some of the
chores he had been in the habit Of
/ performing, such as feeding the
horses and pigs, and ultimately to
chop and carry in the firewood, wash
the blackboard, milk the cows, and
lin spare moments-to weed the gar
den. He began to regard himself as
the most fortunate man alive. Anna
appeared to thrive where her prede-
cessors had withered and wasted
away. True, she ate considerably
more than any of them, but he was
willing to put up with that. provided
she didn't go SO far as to eat as much
as all of them. There were times,
however. when he experienced great
deal Of uneasiness on that score.
The fly avoided his ointment for
something like three months. Then
lit came and settled and babe fair to
remain and thrive upon the fat of his
land. Annals mother came to live
with them. He now realized that he
had been extremely shortsighted. He
should have stipulated in his adver-
tisement that none except motherless
young women need apply.