Omaha daily bee., 1921-12-23
Jack and Jill

Feminine vanity is the worst
thing in this world,I think" observed
Jack, late Saturday evening. 1T
causes more unhappiness than any,
thing know Of, and it's not worth
the misery It causes"
Jill looked at him iri'gnantly.
why. dear, who is Jour inspira-
ton for such a remark. Am | vain?"
mo, sweetheart, you are not vain
personally; you are the most won
derful girl in the world. But you,
too, are a victim to the vanity of
the sex."
why. how can you say such hor-
rid things?"
Jill looked as though she were
going to weep.
We'll, here you go spending half
an hour to put your hair up in those
patent curriers', and | know that they
hurt your head all night with their
little knots against the pillow. You've
told me So"
But, dear, with this spell of rainy
weather, my hair just hangs out
straight as a string"
Feminine vanity!
"Well. would you have me loo1.
like fright when we go up to
Marlowe's for Sunday dinner to-
morrow" ..
"You always look beautiful, dear
est. But why do you put all that
grease on your face. You look as
shiny as billiard ball tonight"
You're a cross old thing. My
face was chapped by the wind to-
day, and it keeps away wrinkles.
"Yes, dear. But you wore gloves
today when you were out, and now
you've got an old pair OF gloves on,
with another layer of that fake skin
food grease spread all over your
hands. What's the excuse there?"
my hands are chapped terribly
from the dishwater. | used some
new kind Of soap tonight after din
ner and it's full Of acid"
feminine vanity! said Jack, and
he studied himself gratefully in the
mirror.
Jill, DEAR" he added, women
spend at least four hours a day
grooming themselves up, and man
only half an hour at night and morn-
ing. Yet you study the people along
Fifth avenue, some afternoon. You u
see FIVE modish looking men to one
woman who looks as if she even
knew how to put on her clothes,
much less pick them out at the
store"
Jill would not say goodnight
she only gave him an indignant little
kiss, and pouted herself to sleep.
Next day, at noon, they were
walking from church to the Marlowe
house because it was such Won
derful day.
Ahead of them walked two 1em-
inine figures, with the newest style
in knee length dresses.
As they quickened their steps and
passed the twain, Jack grinned and
winked.
Grandmother, and her l8-year-old
grandchild." he conhded to Jill.
Both dressed for the age of Is.
And, I don't mean to be indelicate,
but if | were as skinny as they are.
I'd wear hoop-skirts~
"They are rather foolish looking"
admitted Jill, "but their gowns are
very expensive. So simple, and so
chic"
There was a big profit on the
amount of cloth used" said Jack,
and then they reached the Marlowe's.
After the dinner they all took 4
long walk, through the beautiful
winding streets of the suburb, and
ended up, after a two hours stroll
in a charming little tea room, where
Jack did the honors.
Lets ride back on the trolley,
dear" whispered Jack into Jill's ear,
as they were starting to the door.
"Ill tell you why later.
Jill, the perfect wife that she was,
Unanswered it, saying that she was
bit fatigued.
When they finally reached home,
Jack made a wild scurry for his
slippers. AS he threw down his
shoes with an angry bang. JilPs rosy
cheeks dimpled with restrained mirtn.
Whats the trouble, dear? Did
you get those new shSes too tight!"
well, l suppose they are. They
looked dandy in the store, and I'm
tired Of wearing clodhoppers big
enough to turn around in"
WAS it feminine vanity you dis
cussed last night-and today?" was
the demure query.
"lt was. dear, but | guess it's mas
culine vanity that's causing me the
real heart aches" and he manfully
kissed the laugh off her pretty lips.
Il guess we have equality of the
sexes in all things. nowadaysr