The Washington times., 1921-01-28

~Whs
had A WICKED PUNCH.
Editor Voorhees, breesod into Baby
Ion from New York last Valentines
Day, purchased the Signal and Inn
mediately made the town acquainted
with his journalistic creed which
may be summarized as follows:
mo berg can rise superior TO the
level Of its Newspaper morality
The next morning as Editor Voor-
hees was descending the front steps
OF his mansion he observed that some
one. on the side walk In, front or his
home, In a large. three-story emo
tionsl hand. had chAlked this In
quiry; ~. .
"How would tho editor OF the Sig
nal like to go to hellr"
Il am In hell" ye Editor informed
the town the following Friday. edi-
torially, In double column full face.
Then he went on and said this
about Babylon:
The majority or the people in this
town are lot OF clam diggers."
From there he rose In flights OF
the gridiron for more than a column
and half. sailing and peppering II
ana giving II an extra roast here and
there. charring a section or so for
luck. he closed with the admonition
that the town had better take him
gracefully" He said he was there to
stay. He was a humdinger, he admit
ted, thereby saving the citizenry the
trouble OF proving IL.
A CLOSING TRIBUTE,
And In closing. Mr.. voorhees, paid
this tribute to his rival, James Brown
Cooper, editor OF the Babylon Leader:
'Old Man Cooper. the clam digger.
village clerk. Justice OF the peace (by
heck). member OF the town board
and town trustee, must be canned"
In place Of "Old Man Cooper" the
editor of the Signal advocated Charles
Il. Puttfarcken.
Mr.. Puttfarcken Is still out OF once.
In his issue OF January 2l, this
Daniel bearded tho lion by publish
ing . double column spread on the
hrst page Of tho Signal. announcing
munity the fact that Miss Soanso. a
Tspinster handmaiden in ono OF the
Ritziest families in Babylon had re-
turned from the church choir on the
previous Sabbath. and several hours
later had given birth to a "dotter"
Then he quoted the girls employer
as saying: 'Tt would be impossible
for mo to say whether I shall take
tho girl back into my service after
thia Servants arc very scarce in
Babylon. The morality OF this town
10 awful / have never seen any
thing like r."
Several prominent young mon of
Babylon visited tho editor requesting
him to put tho soft pedal' on that
story about "Edna's kid" Ye editor
laughed q hearty laugh. and said
that bull con and bulldozing were
oreign terms to him. and asked them
to please close the door softly on the
way out
SLAVES OFF RENT RAISE.
'WsTl raise the rent on your
house from $40 q month to $50 a
month";" said ono OF tho young men.
'Tf you do" said tho editor. "Pll
publish tho names of this Edna's
Baby Committee"
Tho rent Of Mr.. Voorhees, house
has not been raised.
So they hanged him In snfsy and
he advertised tho hanging. gave his
office stan a holiday on the afternoon
II took plaoo. leaving a card In his
door which read: "Gone to my hang
ing. Back soon"
Later on tho lower half of tho front
page of his paper Mr.. voorhees, an
nounced q new kind Of prize contest.
He offered a dollar each week to the
person sending, for publication, the
worst thing they had heard about the
South Side Signal or it's owner, and
supplied Knock No. I, which follows:
Eugene Southard. the local paper
hanger, was in the office of the Sig
nal some weeks ago and made the
following remark to the owner of
tho Signaii you're a crookr'
Lets have some more knocks"
Mr.. VOORHEES, next paid his respects
to the Babylon National Bank, which
he referred to as "A Clam Digger's
Hook Shop"
Editorially. he explained that short
ly after depositing 5000 in the bank
IL became noised about town that
such a deposit had been made by him
and the next day he was swamped
by a clock OF creditors"
But" he added philosophically,
what's the use of being a clam dig
ger il you can't be thicky'