davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1921-08-04

A colored preacher once was dis
cousring on the Prodigal Son, usini
as his text the passage which states
that the boy came to himself adj
here young man was poor. He hat
wasted his substance" said the pas
tor. He was feeding hogs for Twin
and eat with them out Of the troff
Soon he sold his overcoat. Den HI
had to pawn his coat and vest. Their
he had to give up his pants. Den
den--well, den he come to hisseif.p
Big Black Mountain, in Harlan
county, KY, which stands 400 feet
above sea level, is the highest point
in the state. You may not consider
this information of much value, 5n
the United States Geological Survey
attached enough Importance to this
fact to send a bulletin on the subject,
with the request that the information
be not made public prior to August
6. Still some people wonder why
taxes are high.
'ifie's perfectly quiet" remarked
the man to the two girls who were
hiring pony and phaeton. "Only you
must take care to keep the rein off
his tail" 1--WE won't forget" they
said. When they returned he asked
them how they had got on. "Splen-
didlyl" they exclaimed. "We had one
sharp shower, but we took it in turn
to hold the umbrella over the horses
tail, so there was no real danger"
Colonel Breckenridge and Major
Poindexter, Kentucky gentlemen of
the old school, noticed something I'M
usual about their favorite beverage,
but they disagreed as to what it.
might be. Every fine liquah, suh,"
observed the colonel to the major,
but it has foreign flavor" "You
Nh right, sub; it has a foreign flavor"
replied the major. 81 should say, sub,
I has an iron flavor" he added. "You
III mistaken, sub; it has the flavor of
GATHER insisted the colonel. When
he hogshead from which their liba-
ion came was empty tack with a
top was found on the bottom
# the cask.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1921-08-04

lDoN'T overlook the prosperity that
is practically with you always, and
don't fail to preach IT, is the advice
Of Chicago business firm TO its pat
rons and the people generally. And
the very best reasons are given for
its faith in overriding prosperity,
as In the following:
1--WE have
"Forty-eight states with lirnitless
possibilities. One hundred and FIVE
million people with money--much
"They must eat. They must be
housed. They must drink. They
must be amused, They must wear
clothes and shoes.
"All this takes money. Many bill
lions. Prosperity depends on money
circulation. Keep your head cool,
your feet warm and your money in
circulation.
Nothing matters but cold feet.
Don't bet aRsinst the United States
"Pesnimism never wins. Times will
be good"
That's the word to the country's
workers everywhere. Is there any
thing really worse than "cold feet ?"
II there anything worse in the world |
than being afraid Of life In business
or anything else--in fearing the re-
suit Of going ahead with things when
t Is not SO easy to 20 ahead as it
has been! Is there anything finer
han the true gameness which carries
man or country through the hard
lines as successfully as those which
are easy7 The U. s. A. is your one
best bet Betting against it is a los
ng proposition.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1921-08-04
Same old Story But . Good One.

relates an experience, the like of
which has happened in almost every
neighborhood in this country, and has
been told and related by thousands of
others, as follows: al used bottle
Of Chamberlain's Collie and Diarrhoea
Remedy about nine years ago and it
cured me of flux (dysentery). had
another attack of the same complaint
three or four years ago and few
doses of this remedy cured me. /
have recommended it to dozens of
people since | first used it and shall
continue to do so for know it is
quick and positive cure for bowel trou
bles."
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1921-08-04
whoppee, Got EN- Again.

Mr.. Sucker have you read, What
the Payette papers said, in regard to
that oil stock, it's creating quite a
talk. The place they're drilling
have seen, indicates there's gasoline;
II they drive it far enough l think
they'll get the pure old stuff. Now
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1921-08-04
AcidA

Nitric acid which Is used In pre-
pairing the tremendous explosive. tri-
nitrotoluol. is a very powerful acid,
and II applied TO the skin burns ter
Fihiy. Surgeons occasionally use it
for destroying growths. Hydrocyanic
or prussic acid is probably the most
deadly poisonous OF the acids. Formle
acid. found In certain insects, espe-
cially in ants. is used as food--by
crushing or eating fhe insects--among
some aboriginal tribes. Possibly malic
acid. or some of the edible fruit acids
arc among the weakest Of the acids.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1921-08-04

haunt and harrow those who sidestep-
ped the war to their dying day. The
biggest thing in history was pulled
on in their presence and they weren't
in on II. That rusty barb is buried
in the flesh Of every man who might
have gone.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1921-08-04
TALES OF TOWN

II man hasn't horse sense he
usually makes an ass Of himself.
q .
f. d. Bowen--There are two things
in life we are never prepared for.
Twins.
"An X-ray device has been perfect
ed that will take a picture through a
WALL Heavens, through cellar
wall?
II IL believed that the first notions
Of fire and life insurance grew out
OF watching man who wore both
belt and suspenders.
an wear red shoestrings so you
won't miss me-" said Mrs. LATE Bud T.
her husband t'day when she promised
T. meet him in front Of tn pustoffice.
Abe Martin.
There once was a little agenda,
Which japan did her best TO amenda
SO our Mr.. Hughes,
Formulated some views,
And said TO Japan, "Come againda"
A young married woman want
ed to return a refrigerator recently |
purchased from local merchant.
There was something wrong with it,
she ssid--it leaked all the time.
Some genius might earn himself
a crown of glory by discovering pro-
cess for extracting gold and silver
from mining shares or oil from oil
shares.
Small town papers are not the only
'nes with makeup troubles. The
titles and reading matter with two
.uts in = metropolitan paper were
mixed 10 that . picture Of little girl
ondly petting an old COW is headed:
A Pair Of Stallions.' +
. . . =
A car 10 = greater responsibility on
husband than = wife. He leaves his
wife parked on the street = couple Of
ours waiting for him, but he 10 care
al not to leave his car parked there
nore than an hour. II
We are not surprised to read some III
here that centipede really has only
1rty-two legs. Neither shall we be II
lrprised sometime il someone con- II
rms our skepticism about the cen II
Try plant. II
When pretty girl pins flower II
4 young mans coat shes always II
It's her chin up and looks at it side II
Use; and the fellow who doesn't tum- II
e then had better stay in doors when II
funeral procession is passing for II
ar the hearse will run over hini H
The editor recently got hold of a
tier written in Chinese. II covered Il
tn sides Of a letter head foot long H
d contained sT5 different characters H
7 P%Ah ~ W tttt composing ARcibs /
tn instructions to print in full. II
due time proof with only one /
e cane bach. "What is this?" the II
itor asked THAT Chinese letter in
H. replied the linotype operator.
lie proof read; Dear Sing--Go II
,Ilie Tong H
q q Il
In the midst Of the soldier bonus II
ntroversy, the demand for increased
les, the coming conference on linn II
ton Of ornaments and other stir
x problems, an eastern man rushes II
o print with remedy to Danish II
as. The East can always be de-
nded on TO put its finger on the vital
estion with which it is most con-
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1921-08-04

DEMPSEY. champion Of the world
In pugilism, neglected to get into
the greatest championship bout in his
tory. We know one man who was too
old to be drafted and too old for the
officers training camps. He didn't
really want 10 go to war, and he had
no taste for its hardshlps and priva-
tiona, But all the time II was going
ON he kept saying to himself: 1.-THE
biggest thing in the history OF the
world is coming OF and I'm not in IT,"
And that Is the thought that will
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1921-08-04
CURRENT COMMENT

THE men with modest incomes, and
thsre are more such than Of any
ether economic group, have been hop
ing that the Republican administra-
ton would relIsvs them Of some Of the
burdens Of tbs war taxsa. Consequent
" thsy will be disappointed with
Secretary MELONS latter to Chairman
Fordnsy, Of the ways and means com
mittes, in which suggestions arc made
for . revision Of the tax laws. The
secretary Of the treasury proposes the
repeal Of the excess profits tax and
the readjustment Of the income taxes
To benefit men with incomes In ex-
cess Of $40. 600; but he makes no sug-
geation for the benefit Of the man
with . small income. This man must
continue to pay the old taxes. He
proposes, it is true, to abolish the
taxes ON soda water and mems and
women'a wearing apparel, but he
keeps the tax on railroad tickets and
tickets for theatres and movie shows.
These taxes affect millions Of people.
They are = nuisance and an irritation.
Another tax that is Of doubtful benefit
IL the tax on bank checks. While
these Irritating taxes are to be pre-
served, the secretary proposes to irri-
tate the men Of moderate income still
further by federal tax on Automo-
biiss, . tax that will directly Affect
. million motor car owners.
POLITICALLY the secretsry's plan
IL most disappointing. 1t fails to
take into account the reason which
led thousands Of voters to support the
Republican ticket last year, Sound
political strategy requires that some
thing be done to meet the expeeta-
tons of the country BY tightening the
burden on the greatest possible num-
Der Of people. The ordinary man does
not think very far below the surface
ln economic matters. When he hears
that the tax on his income is TO re-
main unchanged. while the tax on the
Income Of man who receives every
year from $4,000 to 2 million dollars
IS to be reduced he is likely to de-
lounee the administration. and with
rood right The political phase of
my tax plan is likely to be considered
more seriously by congress than II has
,een considered by Mr. Mellon. II
congress can combine political wis
Iom with sound economic theory in a
Ian TO revise the war taxes ii win
ONE somewhere near doing what 1t
ught TO do. a
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1921-08-04

Heavy, impure blood makes muddy,
pimply complexion, headaches, nausea,
indigestion, Thin blood makes you
weak, pale and sickly. For pure blood
sound digestion, use Burdock Blood
Bitters. $1.25 at all stores.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1921-08-04

THE tax burden is grieyous, 1t 10 to
be admitted, but there Is scarcely
= probability Of revolution AS long
~ tax receipts by the federal gov
eminent show the nation is spending
thirteen billion dollars annually
for luxurics.. BY returning to the
simple life. the country could save
enough In two years 10 pay Of the
war debt. But II won't be paid that
way. nor very soon. ExtravaEance
shows ne signs Of eeasinR.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1921-08-04

Visiting cards printed right.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1921-08-04

In the midst Of the soldier bonus
controversy, the demand for increased
rates, the coming conference on linn
itation Of ornaments and other stir
ring problems, an eastern man rushes
into print with remedy to Danish
fiess. The East can always be de-
pended on TO put its finger on the vital
question with which it is most con-
cerned.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-08-31

information, some of which he sent back to America in his new role of a newspaper correspondent.
 Colonel House is suspected of planning a book on the Paris peace conference, but if he is as wise as he is credited with being, he will stay his hand. We have had all the "inside information" about that more or less deplorable affair that we can well assimilate.
 The suggestion that Colonel House will hold himself ready to be called into consultation during the disar- mament conference sounds plausi- ble. Having acquired the habit of international pussyfooting and giv- ing advice to people high in authori- ty, it is not unlikely that the colo mel feels his present isolation keen- ly and would jump at the chance tp resume his place in the spotlight. Since this is an age of marvels, he might even be summoned to the White House.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-08-31
They Followed Him

q had a unique experience recently said J. w. Mcqueen. Rev. J. A. Bryan was my guest at supper. While we were sitting on the front porch just before the meal was served nice young couple drove up in an automo- bile and asked MT. Bryan to go with then, to his parsonage and there make them man and wife. Mir. Bryan, in- stead, invited them into my parlor and there we married them, members of my family acting al witnesses.
 Then we had supper. No sooner was that over and we had adjourned to the front porch again than another couple came in another automobile drove up and again we had wedding in my parlor I thought that would end the wedding festivities for the day, but in a half hour MT. Bryan had a telephone call from the parsonage from a third wedding-bent couple We invited them to come to my house and make it a trio, but this pair pre- ferred the parsonage and MT. Bryan went his way to make the third pair of lovers happy.
 What a busy and useful life that good man leads"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-08-31
cAmIEvaMlAa,tfI
NO MORE CIGARETTES ron GIRLS

NO MORE CIGARETTES FoR GIRLS Fi om the San Francisco Examiner.
 Girls, have you horror of grow ing mustache? Then don't smoke cigarettes!
 Are you terrified by the prospect of sproutins Dundrearys on your peacny cheeks?
 Then avoid the cocktail
 Parisian doctors and Partisan beauty experts have made the porten- teus discovery that tobacco and al- cchol give a direct stimulus to the growth of hair on feminine lip and cheek. They are the rain and sun shine on the hirsute crops.
 They ought to know in Paris. Gull tivation of beauty and discourage ment of ugliness are their special ties.
 Baldheaded men will take comfort from this revelation. Cigarettes and cocktails for them on the chance that if tobacco and alcohol-will force lush NGTQuTe on ISHlnlne races tnCy may fsrtilze a tuft or two on masculine scalps.
 But for girls, Horrors, This an nouncement Is calculated to do more to make femininity eschew Sae cigar ette than a million proclamations by million Women's Christian Temper ance union conventions. Stained fin l"rs, the odor of stale tobacco? They might get by. But whiskers? No,
 We have always had suspicion that, those Turkish beauties had more hair on their faces than shows in their portraits on cigarette boxes Tie news from Paris strengthens the belief.
 Before you light another one, girls 1 you will do well to inquire into~ tht state of the hArem trade in safety 'r's ye rs in Constantinople.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-08-31
PEN NAMES OF AUTHORS

| almost forgotten in his retirement from public life.
 Bill Nye," our own Edgar Wilson Nye, leaped into fame while writing humorous sketches for the Laramie
 Boomerang of which he was editor. The name of "Bill Nye" was bestowed on him by his office associates HIS book "Baled Hay" was very popu- lar for a time. but, like much humor-
 ous writing, its popularity was ephe-
 neral Bill Wye" was much ioVeo
 by all who knew shim. He was con- sidered the greatest American liar.
 William T. Adams was the noted
 "oliver Optic" of story writers. who, during his literary career. wrote more tha n q thousand stories. He died un1- versally mourned by young readers for whom most of his books were written.
 "Octave Thanet" author of many strong stories of the west, is Mss Alice French of Davenport, Ia. She
 is now more than 70 years old and does little writing.
 The greatest American author to
 write under an assumed name was
 Mark Twain" whom we all know was Samuel l.. Clemens. When ne was a pilot on a Mississippi river l steamboat he was amused at the
 quaint phrases of the -leadsmap, who,
 when he found the soundings to pc | two fathoms of water, called out 10 l the wheelman, Mark twain, mean ! ing mark two. When Clements neeuei
 a. pen name this phrase came to him IS an inspiration, and it has proved | to be one blessed with many happy consequences.
 1 Under the name of "Artemus 1 Ward" Charles F. Browne made world wide reputation as a lecturer 1 and humorist He was an inimitapie wag; his humor was irrepressibiA anu kept all about him in constant state l of merriment. He was the first writer
 to adopt phonetic spellins. He died 1 in 1869.
 Eli Perkins, was contemporary
 with "Artemus Ward" and 1t was 1 Ward who bestowed the nom .de
 plume upon him. Melville D. Landon
 was essentially q funny man put not truly humorist. He was gen
 tie, kindly man and one who lovea his fellows. a. ~,
 Henry w Shaw was thes"Josh Bill lines" of human and homeiy phaos-
 onhy. He was kicked into fame by his "Essa on the Muel," which netted him S1.5o, his first money earned in literature. He travelled and lectured | extensely on "The Probabilities or Life: Perhaps Rain. Perhaps Not He said "There's cheats in all things; even pizen is adulterated.' HeTwas a delightful man and never did s- mean thing in his life, and never had an enemy among good men. HJosn Billings" died of apoplexy in Mon ! lterey, Cal.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-08-31
MARY's LEGS

From the Cleveland Plain Dealer.
 Why is it that some reasonably mature women continue to look like little girls? Mrs. Douglas Fairbanks, more generally known as Mary Pick ford. has given a valuable hint. It is largely a matter of facial youthful ness, but one's legs have a good deal to do with it.
 In answer to somewhat intimate question. Mrs. Fairbanks declared her legs looking like the legs of a little girl. As for her face, she says she stays happy all the time and con-
 tinues to think like little girl. In other words. if sone keeps ones
 face juvenile ones legs are likely to take care of themselves. Nevertheless, some of our more pro- found psychological thinkers may be inclined to hold that right thinking
 may affect lege as well as face. If one thinks like q little girl one is likely to look like little girl. The | face is the chief index of looks. But
 If one happens to be movie star
 ones legs are almost as important
 features, both artistically and anato-
 mically, as ones face. It is need iful, therefore, for ones mental at tltude to be reflected in both legs taad face.
 Doubtless Mrs. Fairbanks believes that because her face occupies a po- | sitian close to her thinking appa rat1s it is most directly and immedi ately responsive to her thoughts and meat accurately reflects their youth ;ful sfnt and tenor. But topograph liesl propinquity probably means very IdtAle Ones legs are just as ole ! as oRe feels. And this being the case twhv shouldn't they look just as >olc Has they are: Mrs. Fairbanks, we be- llieve. seriously undercstimates the Esaaue of girlish thoughts in preserv' lin& < xirlish underpinning.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-08-31
N Y Y Applying Personal Touch to the Alien Citizen

A CAPITAL idea was that of &A women's organizations in well coming about 100 aliens who were granted American citizenship yes terday. These new citizens cannot but feel that America is home when it's women meet them at the gateway of citizenship and invite them to become a part of their adopted land.
 That is the kind of Americans zat:on that will get good results. No for sign-born citizen who took the oath of allegiance yesterday will scon forget the smiles of these good women and the kindly greeting ex- tended by them.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-08-31
Country Not Worried
 By Paper Profit Woes

m USINESS men are buying and ID selling goods and these goods are moving from wholesaler and manufacturer in increased quanti- ties. The cotton goods market has shifted from one of the buyer to one of the seller. A review of the dry goods and grocery trades shows minimum stocks. complete liqufda- ton. bare shelves and easier credits.
 Savings banks of New York and presumably those of other communi- ties. shows an increase in savings deposits for the year ending June 30, 1921. Iron and steel are both in greater demand than in months. The Pacific coast reports a large increase in the jobbing business.
 There are fewer idle cars and more cars moved that are loaded with revenue producing merchandise. Cotton mills report operations at full capacity. The export movement of wheat is increasing.
 When such reports are being made there cannot but be more or less indifference to the gloom that ap- pears still to be hanging over those who measure their rise and fall by l the ebb and flow of the security ex- changes. This causes Theodore Price, the veteran Wall street ob- server, to remark:
 Wall street is blue because the shores of It's maelstrom are strewn with the wreckase of the | recently rich. Chief sufferers by the decline Gin securities) are those who made paper profits l during the war, but, while their
 grief naturally affects those with whom they associate, the nations
 wealth as measured in things
 rather than money, is not re- 1 duced by their losses.
 The business of the country, in the end, is measured in things By that measure the tide of busi- ness is in the right direction.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-08-31
SEEN, THINGS

By Eugene Field ain,t afeared of snakes or toads. or
 bugs, or worms, or mice, An things at girls are skeered uy
 think are awful nices & I'm pretty brave, l guess; and yet
 hate to go to bed. For. when. I'm tucked up warm and
 snug. an when my prayers are
 said, Mother tells me Happy dreams" and
 takes away the lightn An, le4sses me lyin all alone an seeln things at night Sometimes they're in the corner
 sometimes they're by the door. Sometimes they're all a-standin' i'll
 the middle uv the floor, Sometimes they are a-sittin' down.
 sometimes they're walkin
 round,
 So softly an so creepy-like they
 never make sounds Sometimes they are black as ink, an
 other times they're white But the color ain't no difference when
 you see things at night. Once. when I licked feller at had
 just moved on our street. An father sent me up to bed without bite to eat. I woke up in the dark an saw things standing in a row, -lookin' at me cross-eyed an p'intin' at me-so! Oh my, I wuz so skerred that time l never slep' mite It's almost alluz when I'm had | sso things at nisht' l Lucky thing I ain't girl, or I'd bs l skerred to death, fsein I'm a boy. l duck my head an
 hold my breath; 1 An I am. oh. so sorry I'm | naughty
 boy, an then 4l promise to be better an say my prayers again, %} Gran'ma tells me that's the only way
 to make it right | When feller has been wicked aA
 sees things at night. An so, when other naughty b0yl would coax me into sin, try to skwush the Temptcr's voice
 at urges me within i An when they's pic for supper, oi cakes ats big an nice. I want to-but do not pass my rlAtf f'r them things twice! No. ruther let starvation wipe md
 slowly out Q sight Then I should keep a'liyin' on m sAAle' things at n4hti