davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1921-05-17
"Anda.LittLe Child
Shall Teach Then,''

~ NE mOIHluX WHen tne heV. Dr.
Percy Stickney Grant, rector of
New York church, opened
the front door of the rectory he
found little girl baby someone had
abandoned on his doorstep.
What disposition he made of the
child we do not know, but doubt
less the good doctor will take such
action as BELTS his calling and his
character.
But remark he made upon the
occasion is worth noting. Accord
ing to the newspapers, DR.. Grant
said:
Anybody would take in a little child
Besides, It sneezed. and thought IL
might get pneumonia. I cared for the
child al night and II was great fun.
suppose every bachelor, such as /, thinks
all babies look alike. But after you've
held a little head close to your face most
Of one night, that baby's face is engraved
on your memory. I believe I'd know that
little one anywhere"
Ii would seem that the clergyman
learned something, learned it from
that source whence comes all the
The Washington times., 1921-05-17
Oil Shortage

The oil-burning engines of the Canadian
Pacific railway in the Canadian Rockies are
now being converted to the use of coal.
1t is expected in short time all the engines
running west from Field, British Columbia,
to Vancouver will burn coal instead Of OIL
The Canadian Pacific steamers in the Brit
ish Columbia coast service also will be con-
vcrted into coal burners. This is due to
shortage of fuel oil.
The Washington times., 1921-05-17
QUESTIONS FOR EDISON.

Being a college graduate ! submit
that the questions asked by Mr.. Edi-
son are entirely too easy. Therefore
[ submit a QUESTIONABLE which ne
should submit to those seeking en-
ployment with him. Here goes:
T. Who was Adams mother-in-law?
. why did Eve raise Cainf
g. What was Solomons annual millinery
bnl7
I. why did the COW jump over the moon
;. How many angels can shimmy on the
s. Can a union man wear a un'on
suit?
:. why is water wet?
S. What is taught in school Of hsh7
.. Where does light go when II goes out
10. What becomes OF the hole when the
dc ghnut Is eaten?
II. How many dairies are there In The
Milky Way?. -
each year in the Society Islands?
13 Who was John Barleycorn?
IL. Who wrote that touching song. Lend
Me Five7"
Is. Bound the state of Melsneholis-
is. How far can a nea jump!
IL. How many coolies can hnd lodsin
in a Bolshevik's beard7
IS what sandwiches are produced In the
Sandwich Islands7
IL. How much sauerkraut can q German
20. How old is a chorus girl?
81. How many drops OF water. does the
ocean contain?
ss. Name the greatest Fiji poet
-. How many hairs are there IN
comets tail?
%. HOW long must a noodle grow before
~ ceases to be a noodle and becomes a
spaghette? (singulsr OF spaghetuD.
YE COLLEGE GRAD.
The Washington times., 1921-05-17
Future War
In the Air
rLYING machines, submarines,
submerged mines, poison gas

VII Inv hoCuAuCS, SuUhAoA-AASo,
submerged mines, poison gas
and asphyxiating gas will settle
the next war. The battleship is about
as old fashioned and out of date as
the bow and arrow. The flying ma
chine has come, and our attention
should be concentrated on THAT
and all the other brutalities of war,
since we may have to face them,
dynamite coming through the air,
and the poison gas WITH TERRI
BILE POWER TO DESTROY AN
ENTIRE CITY.
That gas is not imagination, no
Jules Verne story, but actual hideous
fact. If we had war with power
full, resourceful country. it might in
the darkness of night send fleet of
airships across the ocean, and at the
dawn of day drop upon any city iE
the United States gas that within
half an hour would kill every human
being in the city.
New York, San Francisco or any
other city on the seaboard would
face no mere bombardment by dis
tant ships. The present kind of war
could actually KILL EVERY ONE
OF THE FIVE MILLION HUMAN
BEINGS IN THE CITY OF NEW
YORK AND KILL THEM ALL
WITHIN AN HOUR, IF THE AT
TACK WERE PROPERLY OR
CANNED.
Read what leading British adj
miral says of the battleship and the
ludicrous part it played in the last
war:
Anc lInpuC6COn is tnat the UNDER
water protection Of the modern battle
ship employed in the war was Of such
nature that she was immune from un-
der-water attack, but the world knows
that this is not in accordance with fact
Early in the war most modern bat
tleship, H. M. S. Audacious, was sunk
by mine or torpedo-it does not sig
nifty which. ! have demonstrated that
practically they are the same, the only
difference being that you bump the one
and the other bumps you.
"The next travesty we come across
is that during the war enemy subma-
i rines in no way interfered with the move
| ments Of our capital ships in carrying
: out operations This statement may be
accepted by the public, but it naturally
will not be accepted by any naval officer.
We regard it as great a fable as the one
have Just related. The world knows the
Queen Elizabeth was hurried home as
soon as German submarines appeared in
the Mediterranean, and we thought it only
lucky to get her back; the remainder Of
the battleships dispersed-some to the
bottom Of the ocean, some managed to get
into port and lashed merchant ships
alongside them as a protection against
submarines"
The Washington times., 1921-05-17

very best, truest light on human af-
fairs-The Child, and learned it the
very best possible way, which is 'by
holding the little head close to your
face"
We wonder if whole lot of COM
plicated and misty questions could
not be solved better by such a ges-
ture than by all magniloquence and
argument.
There are many speeches delivered
before societies on the care and
training of children, and to the
making of books upon education
there is no end, but most of such
deliverances we happen to have seen
and heard leave out the 'mightiest of
all factors in child moulding, which
is just plain Love.
Mothers may be ignorant and i'll
trained, and to say sooth they mostly
are; they have not read Herbert
Spencer and they have not plumbed
the deeps Of Psychology, they are
shy on Psychoanalysis, and would
not know the Subsconscious Mind
from post-hole; but they do one
thing that more than makes up for
their shortcomings; each one has
'sheld. the little head close to her
face.''
Old Nature is shrewder than any
of her children, and when she put
into the mother the fiercest and
most appropriative passion known
she endowed her with something
that makes character better than all
the wisdom in all the Libraries.
OF course, mother love often goes
wrong. 1t is not discriminating, it
is too indulgent, it is a mere in
stinct, but what does Bergson sayi
Philosophy is only the discovery, BY
the conscious, reflective mind. of what
We already know by intuition"
So let all little mothers cheer up!
You, baffled and anxious mother,
affecting yourself now and again
because you realize how unequipped
you are to train the little life COM
mitted to your care, remember that
while you are abashed before the
learning of the spectacled professors
who can show you a hundred ways
you are doing your task wrong, and
speechless before the criticisms of
the old-maid experts who know just
exactly what to do-remember, and
take heart, that you have something
that passes their understanding, a
love that is wired to the central
suns, and dynamic with a power
equal to gravitation, which grips
stars, and that you can learn secrets
that cannot be told and get a divine
cunning words cannot express, when
you
"hold little head close to your face
most Of the night?'
The Washington times., 1921-05-17
THERE'S A JOKER IN THIS.

The author OF the letter below asks
that the nuts find the Joker" in the
communication and tell what 1t is:
Mister Price:
Herewith inclosed is my bill.
demanding that fair price be =
paid me by the editor for the very
excellent articles submitted by me
Of late.
My grievance is that you were
heard to say that my STUFF is
fit fodder for the goat" And re-
Gently you were seen feeding him
my MASTERPIECE. Therefore,
QUIT. Yours sorely,
ROUSE.
The Washington times., 1921-05-17
MEANING OF THE u. :. A,

The u stands for the UNION eternal
The S for tho STRIPES and STARS,
The 4 for our ARMY undefested.
The victor In y dozen wers
The n stands for our UNCLE SAMMY"
The for our SHIPS In stern array.
The A ter the ALMIGHTY ONE vhs
guards US
LADY Dosr1A
The Washington times., 1921-05-17
a11EARl.n5EEl -

, Jonah. Father--Whepe on earth
have you been. Jonah?
Jonah--It wasn't @on earth. father.
Jonah's Father-Youa look as II
you've been drunk.
Jonah-ASo have. but fortunately
a whale cant keep a good man down.
,t HARPER'S. FERRY.
NEW LINE PUZZLE ARTIST.
WILLIAM f. TROXELL is a new
line puzzle artist, and the one below
will be found interesting:
The Washington times., 1921-05-17
We TOWNE GOSSIP
Registered u. B. Paten,
X. c. B.

Dear X. C. B.: What do you think of q
bartender who is still paying his dues in the
bartenders union because he feels that some
day "it will all come back?" | am his wife
and / told him was going to write to you.
TILLY M.
The Washington times., 1921-05-17

The height of indifference is
that condition where a pseudo
scientist makes no attempt to
break into print with a learned
explanation or destructive
criticism of Prof. Einstein's
Theory of Relatively"
f. J. SCHwAB.
The Washington times., 1921-05-17
INQUIRY AND ANSWER.

Will you kindly tell us which is cor
rect
my Dear Friend"
"My dear Friend7"
The authorities on this subject say
that a small ID Is correct. and that
you should not use a capital M"
The Washington times., 1921-05-17


benefsctor. has come to be
humanity's meanest friend.
Reports from outlying
counties indicate heavy toll
of insanity from his brain
cracking QUESTIONABLE.
JOPLIN. Mo.-Divo orces
asked by sixteen wives.
Husbands have gone batty
over the Edison quiz.
KENOSHA. wis.-Asylum
loaded to ceiling with VIC
Tins OF Edison plague.
Towns leading citizens still
making application for ad-
mittancs.
BATON ROUGE, La.-Em-
ergency call sent to New
Orleans for doctors. nurses
. and alienfsts to care for
mental, sufferers following
epidemic s. of conundrums
which swept this section
early, last week.
HATTISBURG, Miss.-An
schools dismissed because
teachers are nutty from
answering children who read
Edison's code on intelli-
gence.
D. LOCKNEY, Tex a Is,
hoosegows. aims houses and
round houses Intoxicated
with refugees who refuse. to
live in same neighborhood
with mar, who, answered ev-
cry question correctly.
SLIGO. Md.-Querie No.
~. who composed II Trova-
tore 30 has caused a civil
war here. Half the citizenry
think 1t was Francis Scott
Key.
MERIDIAN. Conn.-Aftsr
consulting the Gypsy Dream
Book and a fleet of Ouija
Boards. the Mayor and Com
mon Council have decided
that the difference between
anthracite and bituminous
coal is about $500 a ton.
LARAMIE. wyo.-ln re-
sponse to the Interrogation.
From where do we. get
dates" the prima donna OF
dumb bells in a local high
school has responded. From
over the telephone"
ALBUQUERQUE. N. M
An Indian guide snowshoe-
ing through the Santa Fe
desert has properly solved
all but lao OF the 141 ques-
tions. .'; ~.
KANKAKEE, Mich--Mails
are flooded with second
class matter asking post
master who owns the short
est pair of long pants in the
world.
103 Where is Labrador?
Ans. At Moose Factory.
118. What country has the
largest output OF nickels ?
Ans. The United states.
12I Where do we Eet
quick silver from. Ans. Wall
Street. t
12s. what IL the lightest
kind Of wood7 Ana Wood
AlA~k-i
The Washington times., 1921-05-17

Old Doc Einstein now says he
cannot measure universe, ana
lots of us who are in the same
AK will sympathize with him.
Z. s.
The Washington times., 1921-05-17
UNDERSTANDING.

did his worst. BRIDGEPORT.
UNDERSTANDING.
The one you don't need to lie to,
The one who always plays fair,
The one who knows more about you
Than anybody does and still can care:
The one who, II you run crooked,
Pulls you up with nrm hands,
Who chooses q mate
And always runs straight,
In the one who understsnds
r. T. II.
, INDEED HE DID.
whats wrong, Freddie?''
SCOT the blues that's all"
well. cheer up. Just remember
that when Jonah was down in the
mouth he came out all right"
JULES BACKENHEIMER.
The Washington times., 1921-05-17
ADDITION-WHAT Is TIT

One hundred and hftN, Nightly applied,
To a place where the living did once all
reside
Or a consonsnt Joined to a sweet singing
bird,
viii give YOU q name that is often hear /:
'Tis the talk Of the street. heard over
IT'S the rival OF Smith and as common as
Brown. n. SMITH.
The Washington times., 1921-05-17

IF ignorance is bliss the home for
feeble minded ought to be para
disc MISS A. V. T.
The Washington times., 1921-05-17
Stars and Stripes

Opportunity in great city is like gold
OF the mine: more has been invested in it
and lost than was ever gotten out of it.
Truth melts away in heated argument
That which hurts s and teaches not will
hurt again.
When mans religion dwells only on his
lips It is but poor guardian against the
evil that enters through his eyes and ears.
Democracy was born of an aristocracy Of
minds.
He who is in the public eye is not far
from the public tongue.
The Washington times., 1921-05-17
X. MILLER
HIS EDITORIAL.
y INSANITY

Edison. mans greatest
benefactor. has come to be
humsnity's meanest friend.
Reports from outlying
counties indicate heavy toll
of insanity from his brain
. cracking QUESTIONABLE.
The Washington times., 1921-05-17

Hoop-snake rolling down a hin.
Not seen very often since Volstead
did his worst. BRIDGEPORT.
The Washington times., 1921-05-17

BATON ROUGE, La.-Em-
ergency call sent to New
Orleans for doctors, nurses
. and alienists to care for
mental. sufferers following
epidemic E. of conundrums
which swept this section
early, last week.
The Washington times., 1921-05-17

103. Where is Labrador
Ans. At Moose Factory.
The Washington times., 1921-05-17

HATTISBURG, Miss.-All
schools dismissed because
teachers are nutty from
answering children who read
Edison's code on intelli-
gence.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1921-11-04
WlNANT

M. G. Shermer left for Corvallis
Thursday where he will join his wife
who has been unde.. medical care at
that place.
Harlan Branson and Eugene Emer-
son attended the Masquerade dance
at Newport Monday.
B. F. Updike returned from Port.
land Saturday night.
Averil and Harlan Branson departed
for the Valley Wednesday after a
short visit with their brother, B. F.
Branson and family. They will "fliv.
ver' to California Monday.
Mrs. Peter Shermer spent the week
end in Newport, guest Of her son, ].
A. Shermer and wife.
Howard Amsbarry left Wednesday
for The Dalles where he will be EN-,
ployed by the o. w. r. & N.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1921-11-04
CHAMBER OF COMMERCE
HOLDS LIVE MEETING

An interesting and instructive meet
ing Of the Chamber of Commerce was
held in the Chambers club rooms last
Friday evening, G. B. McCluskey
presiding.
Many matters Of interest to .he
town and county came up for discus
sion. S. T. Loudon of Eddyville was
present and asked the assistance of
the Chamber in putting over the Pc.
mona Oranges scheme OF giving each
delegate to the National Grange, at
Portland. next month, Lincoln county
agate, etc. The Chamber endorsed
the plan and promised as ,istance.
MIR. Case of the State Chamber of
Commerce was present and gave an
interesting and instructive talk.
The next meeting will be held No
vember 9th.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1921-11-04
ONA

VIM. Balm, and Geo. Campbell, Of
Yaguina, attended the masquerade
here Saturday.
Guy Twombly of Twomblyville
drove to South Beach Sunday after-
noon, returning home the same even
ing.
The Masquerade at the Grange Hall
Saturday night was a great success.
There were about 30 couples present
Many of the costumes were clever and
amusing and all had hilarious good
time.
VIM. Farrell is hauling hay from
Poole Slough this week.
r. w. Ohmart returned home Mon
day.
. Mr.. and Mrs. C. S. Ohmart and
small son and R. w. Ohmart visited
at the Hassman home Tuesday.
Gene Cook and Clifford Phelps are
hauling gravel from Seal Rocks this
week-The gravel to be used for ce.
menting in the boiler in Cooks saw.
mill.
Mrs. Effie Hubble and daughter.
Miss Evelyn went to Waldport Tues.
day.
Frank Huntsucker is suffering with
very sore hand, caused by running
rusty nail into 1t.
Mr.. and Mrs. l. R. Payne and daugh-
ters, and Mr.. and Mrs. D. C. Gray and
children were guests at the Wilson
home Sunday.
Peter P. Byrnes returned last week
from fortnight's visit in Bend. Ore
gon.
Miss Meta Phelps, who is teaching
at South Beach spent the weekend at
home.
! Mr.. and Mrs. John Emerson and Jim
Huntsucker Of Oysterville, and Miss
Maize Teeters, and Miss Lille Bain of
Yaquina, attended the masquerade.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1921-11-04
IN MEMORY

Died at his home In Siletz Valley,
Of organic heart disease, Saturday,
October 29th, Henry r. Cobb, aged,
70 years and rs days. He is sur
vived by his wife and five children,
three girls and two boys. Mrs. Nell
son Braulett lives in Portland; Mrs.
Ray Stetch lives at Merced, Califor-
MIA; and Mrs. Ralph Salvage at ST.
letz; one son, Charles, lives in Port
land; and the other, Warren, lives
at Sile!z. Mr.. Cobb was one of our
best citizens. He belonged to that
large class called by Mr. Lincolny--
"The plain people," He was men,
ber Of the w. o. w. and carried life
insurance. He was born in Alegana
County, New York, October 4th, 1912.
He was married in Independence,
Iowa, to Miss Arma l.. Finch, April
S0th, 1879. He came to Oregon in
November, $780, locating at New
berg where he lived till about eight
years ago, when he came TO Lincoln
County, buying place ON Depos
Slough where he lived for about five
years, when once again he sold out
and bought home at Siletz where
he lived up to the time Of his death.
! The body was taken out Monday to
Newberg where the funeral will prob
ably occur Wednesday. The burial
will be in the Newbeig cemetery,
Mrs. Cobb her son, Warren. and Mr..
and Mrs. Ralph Salvage accompanied
the remains.
! Mr.. Cobb did not belong to any
church but he practiced the precerts
and teachings of the Golden Rule"
which is the essence Of Christianity.
His word was as good as his bond"
/ His home was a model of good cheer
and happiness. No quarreling or,
wrangling ever occurred in the fam
lily. Children growing up under such
make good citizens. Mr.. Cobb be-
longed to that class of citizens that
is rapidly passing away giving place
to the new order that is coming up
on the stage that will have charge OF
affairs but doubt II the new style Of
men will excel in honor, industry
and the neighborly spirit that char
acterize the people of the passing
generation. The world is moving az
such rapid rate that 1t is hard to
tell what a few years will bring
forth; good and evil, right and wrong
are becoming SO intensified that 1t Is
hard to tell which will prevail in the
great unknown future. Under these
circumstances we need more men of
such sterling character as Henry r.
Cobb. F. N. Carter.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1921-11-04
SILETZ

Superintendent Edwin L. Chalcraft
will commence Wednesday, Nov. I'd,
to draw checks to pay the Indians
money derived from the sale Of land
under the treaty of 1894. The amount
Is Sal .222.50, to be distributed among
421 persons, which amounts to $97.S2
to each person. The larger families
will get several hundred dollars to
each family. The Indians say they
are going to be careful how they
spend this money as they will have
but one other chance to get easy
money. And that will be for some
timber land they still own.
The Ladies' Aid Halloween Party
given at the school play house was
successful beyond all expectations.
Some three hundred persons were
present embracing all the school
children of the district The follow
ing short program was rendered:
Music by the Larson Orchestra;
Drill, Mrs. Colvin's pupils; Recita-
tion, Vivian Larsen; Ghost Drill, this
was very interesting. Fifteen ghosts
took part in this drill. Announce
ments. This was followe.. by the
serving of ice cream, cake and cof-
fee This was delicious. An exercise
In which all took part. 1t was real
social affair in which all took part
and everyone had a good time. ST.
letz is becoming noted for its hos
pitality and sociability. Everyone
enjoyed the fine large play house and
gymnasium-th best in the county
The room was full Of spooks and
ghosts. Everything looked dark and
weird and as the spooks fitted about
1t made the hair stand on your head
and to add more to the weird scene,
two witches commenced tEeir work
of bewitching everything that came
along In Jefferson's time, such per-
sons would have been hung because
they were old and wicked and people
thought they were bewitching other
people. In another booth photog-
rapher was taking pictures-the most
horrible pictures you ever saw-I
gave mine away. 1t was a most en-
loyable evening. The receipts were
$52.44 which will be used for church
work..
Major Shepard and his stenograph-
er, Miss Edith, Workman, have gone
to the Warm Spring Agency but will
return in eight or ten days to finish
the work here. Major Shepard is
the examiner of Inheritance claims.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1921-11-04
c. OF c. MEETING;
TO DISCUSS BRIDGE

One of the questions to be taken up
and discussed at the Chamber of Com
merce meeting to be held on the even
ing Of November 9th, is the matter Of
the construction of a foot bridge
across Depoe Slough to the Club
House. the plan is that this bridge be
built by public subscription and the
proceeds of dances to be given for
that purpose.
The proposed plan is for the bridge
to be built at the upper end Of the old
mill dock and would be necessary to
drive 4 piles in the center of channel.
The bridge will be built at least as
high above the water as the wagon
bridge just above the site of the pro-
posed foot bridge.
Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1921-11-04
SEVERAL PAY FINES

Six Indians and one white man had
their innings in Justice Parrish's
Court here Monday afternoon, having
been arrested at Siletz Sunday and
Monday and charged with drunken
ness. The arrests being made by dep
uty sheriffs, Jesse Daniels and Ted
McElwain. Prosecuting attorney Nc
Cluskey appeared for the state. Four
Of them paid fines Of $40 each, VIZ.
Scott Lane, Darwin Watts, Matthew
Williams, and Jinks Williams. Les
ter Bellenger was fined $50, this being
his second offence. F. II. Downs,
white, was released under a suspended
sentence. The charge against Homer
Evans was dismissed.