The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1921-11-21
ADVISES men not
TO MARRY BEFORE
q YEARS OF AGE
Early Marriage a Disas.
ter for Husband, Says
Miss Dix.
By DOROTHY DIX.

marty.
There is no one lucky day in
which 1t is perfectly safe for a man
TO enter into the holy estate. Also,
a mans fitness for matrimony de-
pends upon many other things be-
sides his age. but. generally speak
ing. a man who marries when he Is
around the thirties-say. from IS
TO 35-has the best chance of being
happy himself and making the
woman he marries happy.
That Is his golden time OF life.
He has found himself. His tastes
are formed. He knows what he
wants in a wife. The flesh pots
have palled upon his taste enough
20 make him banker for good, plain
home cooking. Yet he is not blase
and worn out and ready to retire
10 the chimney corner. He can still
thrill with romance and enjoy Il
good time, and he has not encased
himself in the bomb proof selfish
ness of the old bachelor.
For a boy to marry is a misfor-
tune to the woman who gets him
and a catastrophe to himself.
1t Is a misfortune to the woman
because it takes a lot of self-con-
troll, and forbearance, and unself
ishness, and tact, and diplomacy to
make marriage a success. and no
BOY possesses these qualities. 1t
takes the discipline OF life and the
hsrd hand of a boss and the losing
OF jobs and the walking of streets
hunting for work to teach them 10
him.
The average boy is utterly undis-
ciplined. He is a child who wants
what he wants when he wants II,
and when he hnds that his will
comes in conflict with that of an
other spoiled child II Is no wonder
that they quarrel like cats and
dogs and that so many bresd-and-
hutter romances end in the divorce
court
Early marriage is disaster for
the man himself on many accounts.
For one thing, the man who marries
before he is well along in his TWEEN
ties takes a gamblers chance on
backing his own taste in women.
And the odds are a hundred to one
against him that the girl who fred
his fancy at 20 will bore him to ex-
tinction when he is 30.
This is the great tragedy of life
that a man in his early youth
will marry a good. sweet. dull, in
nocuous girl who is at the time a
perfectly suitsbl mate for him. be-
cause they are both crude. imma-
ture and ignorant. and only inter-
ested in the jelly-bean type of con-
versstion and the latest dance step,
n all of which she is just as pro-
hcient as he is. But the man goes
out into the world. His mind de-
velops. He broadens and deepens
intellectually. He becomes polished
and brilliant, while his wife stays
put. just where she was and what
she was.
He has outgrown her. He can
no more fit his mind to hers than
ne could get on the clothes that he
wore when he was aslender slip
OF boy. He would no more pick
her out for a wife in his maturity
than he would make a meal on the
chocolate fudge that he used to de-
YOUR by the pound. There are no
marriages more unhappy than those
in which nature has separated a
couple by developing one and not
the other. and in which both hus-
band and wife 60 their lonely ways
because they have nothing in COM
mon.
OF course, now and then there Is
a youthful marriage in which the
man and woman do grow up to-
xether, but these are as scarce as
hens teeth. They are matrimonial
miracles that no one can count
upon. and there are risks enough In
matrimony without a man taking
chance on what he is going to be
~ ha
II you will observe the happy,
contented married couples among
your acquaintance you will take
notice that in almost every one the
man was old enough to know what
he was about before he picked out
a wife. Likewise he was old enough
and had had experience enough to
know how to manage other people
how to sidestep unpleasant do
nestle situations. how to deal fairly
and justly with his wife, and how
to cajole her into doing the way he
wanted her to do, instead of bump
ing into all OF the little eccentrici-
ties of her temper. 1t takes a mans
wisdom to manage woman. It's
no task for boy babes and suck
lings.
II man has his own way to
make in the world, an early mar
riage Is a handicap that nothing
short of financial genius can sur
mount. 1t takes money to make
money. The password that opens
the door of opportunity is your
pass-book at the bank. You've got
70 have your feet loose to climb.
These are truisms that every man
knows. but that he puts behind him
when he commits the folly of an
early marriage. The man who has
to support a family can save moth
ing out of a small salary. He can
never get ahead He can never
take advantage of the opportunities
that come his way. He cannot take
any risks when the fate of his wife
and children are at stake. He is
a domestic slave, fettered to his
desk and with no chance of ever
freeing himself.
It breaks his heart and his spirit.
He loses initiative and courage as
he watches men of less ability out
strip him in the race. And the
young man who has blighted his
own prospects by his ill-adyi.ed
u1arriage makes a miserable hus-
oand. because he takes out on his
wife and children his impotent fury
at his own folly.
A young man married is a young
man marred. says the old proverp,
and it Is a motto that every boy
should hang over his mirror. where
he will see IL every time he brushts
his hair or shaves, and so have this
homely wisdom borne in upon his
mind.