The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1921-10-13
Uhr UnttthHtnttr
HExE LIES MANS ANCIENT ENEMY.
| DULL CARE.
WHO nlszNrEKs THE U1sLovED cUsA
| bHwAREI
CONFINEMENT.


here
While tn tiskin' clock surveys me with sort
o. GRIMM leer,
Jes' like it was a-sayin', "Ha! you're getdn
Your hair is getdn' thinner and your blood is
CROWN cold"
But l don't feel regrettul rr tn days that's
past and gone:
1 grin back at that timepiece while it keeps
a-tickin on;
FIR though I'm CROWN older don't somehow
As l set here a-dreanin' in my old arm chair.
amt percisely thinkin'-no, you couldn't
call it so;
FIR thinkin takes some ehort-an' I'm maxim
none, 1 know.
NV thoughts jes' sort O. wander. idle-Ike an
fancy free,
An get t recollectin 9TH boy used to be.
amt philosophizin, an my thoughts don't
make me sad:
My conscience amt a-hurtln cause tn boy
was was bad;
1 don't feel any longin' FIR t be boy again,
Don't aim t be compar7n' joys an gfiefs O.
an then:
F"r though I'm CROWN older I don't somehow
As set here a-dreamin' in my old arm chair
used t. do tn orn'ry things that other boys
hev DONE
An though lot was mighty bad 1 amt a-fret-
tin none
recoIlect tn scores O. times used t. go an
swipe
Ripe peaches of'n Uncle Joe, which made i'm
sore as tripe;
An then when l was older, why, done some
other things
That's usu1ly expected fr t leave lot o
stings
But t'night I amt repentant, an I don't feel
regret
FIR tn past, mr. apprehensions FIR tn future t
be met;
| FIR though I'm CROWN older I don't somehow
t care
AS l set here a-dreamin' in my old arm chair.
THE cynical voice within us that is never
completely sienced suggested better caption
| for the foregoing lines would be "Senility"
Changing caption, however, calls for an
erasure: which. in turn, calls for effort
| :. Let it ride
! ON the unmpeachable authority of both
! the Associated Press and United Press Mrs
Elizabeth Tyler is head of the propa cation de-
partment of the Ku Klux Klan". Yesterday
the proofreader changed the word to "propa-
ganda" We don't blame the proofreader
/ Still, newspaper must stick to facts.
| NATURALLY" said Mrs Tyler, 81 was
badly frightened. However, l retained suffi-
cient seif-possession to Immediately extinguish
all the lights in the house and phone the
county police"
But not sufficient self-possession to avoid
the fatal infnftive.
THE WISDOM OF SOLOMON
| Sir: For at the window of my house
looked through my easement.
verify" you will say, Solomon thou art
an hundredfold inquisitive."
Justifying the act remind you that any
Man who possesseth seven hundred Wives all
more or less Comely, in the days of Lipsticks,
Movie Heros and Hero Worship, not to say
anything of being Head of several large Fire
Insurance Companies in land that aboundeth
in Second Hand Stores and Clothing Store
Merchants, may do that very thing with no
more pain of Conscience than is felt by the
Small Boy who putteth his Face against the
| Board Fence and vieweth the Game through a
knothole therein.
| Harken unto my words: At times he gain
eth Knowledge who putteth his Good Right
Eye at a Keyhole of the door of his
Habitation!
But heard great Hullabaloo OF Jazz and
Stringed Instruments and song OF Here Comes
the Bride"-timeworn song, but still it seemeth
good-whereat a Large number of my seven
! hundred Wives ran to the Window. obscuring
my Vision, but later informed me that Heze-
kiah Skinnum had taken unto himself only
One Wife. The Time passed and verify
when he was seated two Patches upon his Raj
ment were Hidden He begat two sous, Solo
mon and Eli
Solomon kneweth but Little never was
known to Lie, MIXED the Goats, worked Dill
gently, gave his Father Trouble and dis
played other signs of Brain Fag.
! But Eli was filled with the Serpent that old
Devil: had Curly Hair, drank like an Envoy at
a Foreign Court, used his fists like Congress-
man and was Strong with the Ladies as a
Senator. He could Lie Beautifully as any
Candidate who ever sought Public Office!
He strungeth them Going and Coming He
sheweth a way to Get them All.
! Verify, one day he leaneth against the door
of a Soft Drink parlor and perceiveth Cackle
Berri Beautiful Actor Lady, bearing a bur
den of Baked Beans and divers other Delica cies-
wherewith Luncheon was to be given to E. Il
Picken at her Apartment.
! He called to her. 81 knoweth Seller of
Old Crow" Which maketh her JOY great; in
Excess of which she droppeth many Delicacies
and Spilleth the Beans He then brought her
a Glass of insipid Green River and laughed her
Tears OF Disappointment to scorn. (Ie was
that -mean)
| But, some of the Beverage was smiled uDon
the Floor which became very Slippery and he
stepping thereon, fell and Demolished a pint
Bottle OF Old Taylor he had carried in his
Pocket all that Time and was Seifshly keeping
for Himself.
Moral: The STUFF you've gotta Drink Now
adays amt like the Stuff you could get sew
eral Years Ago. SOLOMON PIFFIE
| PURELY from kindly regard for the feel
llngs or the street car company we suggest
that the Courtesy" trans be detoured around
tnat section of Second avenue between 18th
and 10th streets next Sunday. Last Monday
| each time street car obstructed the view of
| football fans watching The Argus grid board"
| It was greeted by raucous yells of Courtesy
hell! Get outa tn wayi"
DAVID Upton Offers sman."-The