The Washington herald., 1921-09-03
|Ne9porkoity
|D'la'lHZ4EBy,D!,'says D

NEW YORK, Sept. 2.-sh-h-! The
Sutier speaks. Along Fifth and Madi.
son avenues those stern -yisaged auto
nations are seeking higher wages.
The average wage OF a man who
buttles Is $50 month, with room and
meals. He says he must work from
Is to Is hours day.
When Madam flies into a temper
he must stand rigid and receive all
the abuse. And when the tempest has
subsidized, lick his heels and say:
Thank you! Very good. Madam
One tells of being slapped twice
across the mouth because Madam's
French maid had fumbled the hooks
in dressing the mistress.
In the evening he must act as
valet to Madsm's lap dog without be-
traying by word. look or gesture his
contempt. II he has a substantial
name like Mike o'Toole or Paddy
McQuirk he must change IL to Jer-
hiHb Ut htaoOnS. tl0 blhttQ8 ak
something that can be referred to-
like q villa at Newport or o yacht
at Bar Harbor. He Is q symbol Of
class, yet treated like m evil that
must be endured. :.
He cannot go to the movies. It
would be a betrayal of his exalted
calling. Below stairs he cannot in
dulge In the light gossip Of household
a FaA~ L. lot a1 Ii n
Hedga, the Swedish maid. gets 500 a
month, two afternoons out, meat
twice a day, and three policemen.
Buffers. It is also revealed, do not
regard themselves as ordinary seTv-
ants. Buttling is something OF a
profession, and the highy-trained
butler has had a father and grand
father who buttled before him.
His training begins at the cradle.
He may work for the hounder or
the son of n man. who grew rich in
trade, but he must treat the employ
er as a gentleman. That is the thing
that tries the soul of the butler. Fancy
acting as a buffer for the morning
Crouch with "Very good. sir: 1t shall
be as you say, sir!" when stored
away in your cynical brain is the
hho"iSuSS yohi
grandfather peddled fish. No wonder
buffers want more money.
The comedian in a Broadway play
remarks that his name isn't in Who's
Who" because he didn't want to pay
s6. And those who are honored by
appearing in the volume know It is
libel by implication. Incidentally the
comedian and the author who fur
nished the lines do not appear in
Who's Who" SO that may explain
the attack.
This ad.. found in the columns of
New York evening paper. gives
sharp shock:
Body. for funeral purposes. must
be sold at once.-Blank Agency.
Brooklyn"
But when the Edgar Allan Poe at
mosphere wore off bit II was dis
covered that the Blank Agency was
an automobile industry.
He sits like a wooden Sargoylc, a
grotesque carved walnut image.
STOPPING behind a small splint basket
OF lemons. just at the head OF the
long market, which stretches down
First avenue ten blocks below Four
teenth street. His shelter from win
ter wind and the summer sun is the
wall Of the elevated newsstand and
an old toolboX that seems to stand
forever in the street. He is very old.
He says nothing when you buy of him
and he seems to show no interest in
any living thing. His is the face of
the gnomes in fairy books-the face
OF Punchinello in the Punch and Judy
show-for the lines of the nose and
chin are long and prominent and
curve together. almost meeting in
front of his mouth. He may be 90.
He may be 100.