The Maui news. [volume] (Wailuku, Maui, H.I.) 1900-current, 1921-09-20
Dear Mister Editor of the Maui News:

btdI NllSltl EullOl VI liz Maui ANN"5'
Me and Liza has just been reading
over the proposed traffic ordinance
that you published. Now l don't care
much about automobile regulations,
as l lever drive a car myself-but
Liza is all het up about some of the
things that your ordinance says. And
it so being that l wear the pants
about our house, she said it was my
marital duty to express my opinions
about that there ordinance that our
board of supervisors are contemplat-
ing. So here are my real opinions
about some of the things it tells.
First off, when Liza read about a
vehicle being defined as something
that might have runners she wanted
to know just what months of the year
in Maui it were when the sleigh
bells jingled, Cor was that put in just
to include Santa ClausO
Also, there is that No. Z of Section
l, where garage" is defined. Now
seeing that nothing further is said
about a garage, Liza wants to know
if the Teller who writ that ordinance
put in that defination just to show
that he knew what a garage" is?
Then there is that Section 4 of Sec
ton 2; Chat is the way it is writ J,
that tells about them mufflers that
prevent the escape of steam and oil
and smoke and gas. Now what Liza
wants to know is where she can get
one of them. Liza also says that
when the ordinance become a law
that she wants it inforced against the
automobiles of one of the plantations
up country. The cause being that
when them up country machines pass
her she always thinks of the injustice
that was done by the Eighteenth
Amendment.
Another section of that ordinance
that Liza is strong against is section
(e) of Section 6, Chat is the way it
is Writ. You see Liza went to a
first class school when she was
young1that-was Seale time before
she married me-and she is strong
on logic, as she studied it once. Well
this here last section | been telling
about says:
No person shall drive, operate
or propell a motor vehicle with
out an approved device or adjust
ment upon its headlights, unless
the said headlights shall have
been tested and approved"
Now Liza says, what in Sam Hill
does that mean to a respectable WON
an who has studied logic?"
Another section of that law Mister
Editor that got Liza all rilled up is
that there section IL, which says that
- ,xA,,@ aar, Ir;trA N ntt4,,0h;1A @N
the highways of Maui that uses
narcotics" The reason for Liza get
ting all rilled up over that there is
because Liza has one of them there
Dictionaries by Mr.. Webster, and il
says that tobacco is a narcotic" And
Liza says that she just amt agoing to
give up her old clay pipe for any old
ordinance about automobiles. So
think you better tell our board of SUI
pervisors that they better go easy
on the tobacco question. But then,
they will any way if they know Liza.
Then there is another part of that
section IL that offended Liza, it being
the portion that reads:
"And it is hereby especially
provided that proof that any per-
son driving a motor vehicle has
or had partaken of Intoxicating
liquor, within one hour prior to
the time such person is or may
be charged with violating this
section shall be prima facia proof
that such person was so driving
such vehicle under the influence
of intoxicating liquor"
The reason Liza being offended by
this here is because Liza's father be
fore her, was a Justice of the Peace
back in Kentucky-and she just
knows that no dinky county has a
right to pass ordinances fixing the
law of evidence. She says that is the
business of the Legislature. Any way,
that is what she says, and what she
says goes about this place, let me tell
you.
Then there is that provision ia) OF
Section Is Chat is the way it is
writ, that tells that all vehicles shall
come to rest when on the highways,
with the right wheel not more than
twelve inches from the curb-and
Liza wants to know, since when has
all the highways and alleys of Maui
had curbs?
J Now Mister Editor, perhaps you