Evening journal., 1921-05-13
RELATIVELY IS
PROVED TRUE
Proof of Theory of Pro-
fessor Einstein is Found
in Elephant
SENSES RELIC
OF ANCESTORS

N6W AOANhs may '4Vs-4b TO
NAMED for Ftatateeta. the neu-
rotc elephant. to show the world
that there is, too. something in the
theory OF relativity. regardless OF
whether Professor Einstein got the
freedom OF the city or not.
Ftatateeta got her nervousness
from her great-grandfather. Belshaz-
zar. The latter. it will be remem-
bered, was the original elephant In
whose ear a mouse ran amuck. Bel
shazzar was so unnerved by the oc-
currence that he became nervous
wreck and fell away to four tons in
three weeks. His houdah wouldn't
fit any more and his ivory tusk drop
ped Off. The late p. T. Barnum took
the tusks and had them made into
piano keys.
Belshazzar's nervousness became
congenital, and all his descendants,
including Ftatateeta, have been neu-
rotic. A sister was a moron and so
low in intelligence that she refused
to accept peanuts. A cousin had the
fear Of mice so ingrained in her COM
Dlexes that she refused to sleep un-
I'll mousetraps. baited with cheese,
had been placed in both her ears,
and a cat, a good mouser. had been
stationed at the entrance to her
trunk.
Although highly nervous, F'tata-
teeta is unusually bright She al
ways seemed to sense just which
keepers the circus authorities wish
stepped on and does it. She is highly
esteemed by all. The other day
Niobe. Queen OF the Nile, developed
a bad case OF elephantiasis at the
Garden, where the Ringing Brothers
and the Barnum and Bailey Greatest
&c, circus is holding forth.
This was bad, because Niobe was
counted on to play the piano in the
great elephant orchestra which they
were getting ready. You'd die
laughing to see Niobe play a piano
with her trunk. Before she was
three years old she had learned
Rachmaninoff's Prelude in G Minor.
and then, when she got older and
could tackle the harder pieces, Dex-
ter Fellows taught her to play Chop
sticks. That is, the lower part OF
Chopsticks. Dexter himself played
the upper.
Well. here was Noble on the fat Of
her back with elephantiasis and the
first appearance OF the elephant or
chestra not four days away. Conster-
nation reigned.
who's the smartest elephant in
the herd?" shouted Dexter Fellows
'Ftatateeta," shouted all the keep
ers
IAN right She plays the piano in
Niobe's place" said Dexter.
They brought Ftatateeta into the
music-room and Mr.. Fellows struck
A You could tell there was music in
her because the minute Dexter seat
ed himself on the piano stool and
struck A Ftatateeta balanced herself
on one leg and struck a Youth at
the Spring" pose. Then Dexter ran
lightly over the allegretti pizzicati
movement OF Chopin's Funeral
March and like a flash Ftatateeta
grabbed a stick and commenced
beating the bass drum. And when
Dexter struck up a few bars OF Oar
danelia," Ftatateeta girdled him
about the waist with her trunk and
threw him down three flights OF
stairs.
When Dexter came back he thought
IL time to let Ftatateeta have a try
at the piano. so he led her over,
took her trunk in his hand and
whacked G nat with It. Contrary 70
his expectation, Ftatateeta backed
quickly away. a Mortified look in her
eyes. She trumpeted a loud trump OF
fear and started to tremble all over.
Every time she got near the piano
she was seized with mingled rage and
fear. and for the life OF him Dexter
couldn't dope out what the - what
the matter was Ftatateeta was rap
idly becoming hysterical and Dexter
OWNED that It was the piano. He ex-
amined the instrument Inside the
case he found an inscription: made
for p. T. Barnum, 1875"
why" unused Dexter, that's the
piano that p. T. had made from Bel
shaz-"
Then he stopped and a look eame
into his eyes.
MY heavensi" he exclaimed. ad-
dressing Ftatateeta, ARE you--you'rS
not-are you some kin to Belshazzar
the one that furnished the ivory fol
those keys?"
Two tears dropped from Ftatatee-
ta's eyes. She nodded her head. Dex-
ter himself was moved.
Don't cry. sweetheart" he said
don't cry"
Ftatateeta had recognized rela
tive in those piano keys. The theory
OF relatively was vindicated.
Women will secure by the Wan