davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1921-04-04
sUILLEABHAIN,s SAYINGS.

a Wild young woman is a
chicken, but a wild young man is
a bad egg. Some chickens are
fond of wild oats.
Every woman eventually nnds
that her mirror isn't as fiatterinp
as 1t once was.
A man will protect a girl from
ali the feiiows except himself.
FEMININE logic Is where a wom-
an, having saved 16 cents on car
rare and $1.75 by cleaning your
suit AT nome, feels she Is entitled
to spend SIS on a spring bonnet.
EAMON o SUILLEABHAIN,
The Washington times., 1921-04-04
DO YOU WEAR ONEf

And no one will ever rue n
III each day. as they comb their hair
They'll stop. then, to renew H.
It's neither hot or cold,
ana is no extra weight to carry
shouid be worn by young and old.
Ana those about to marry.
IL 10 never felt or heard,
~ But u noticed by foe or friend,
IT 10 funny little word,
Ana runs . mile unto the end.
H gMITH
The Washington times., 1921-04-04
TAKING TO THE WALL.

As to why women take To the ,eft
when walking on the streets wbether
ieft-headed or not. I think II is he
cause the inside OF the walk was the
safest and cleanest place when there
were no paved streets. and there was
Danger from passing vehicles throw
ing mud. Also isn't 1t likely that the
superior" sex want to keep close to
tne shop windows so they may gaze
Claiming the inside was a privi,er.
OF the higher classes" at one time.
r'oh parvenu meeting poor
scholar, thus addressed him:
Base men. to take the wall 7 n.,.r
nit" nc CT per-
rhe sehoior answered: II do" and raw.
The Washington times., 1921-04-04
WHAT A BOY SHOULD DO.

III boy asks me to go out with
him, / prefer that he name the
place we shall go or give me my
choice of two places. That is bet
ter than asking, "Where do you
want to go this evening" Very
often a girl hesitates to mention
q place because of the expense.
JEAN JAY.
The fat man tolls up the hill.
He's OIL a reducing" tramp.
Then. as he reaches the summit.
He takes on his coat and pants
C H. M.
The Washington times., 1921-04-04
Japan Prepares
Aquinst Whom?
\ ECENT news dispatches discuss
in great detail the feverish

IN great detail the 1everlsh
energy with which Japan is
building up great military air
service.
1t is reported that her agents are
everywhere in Europe purchasing
airplanes and that she is so anxious
to train her young men in the air
service that, initiating the Kaiser,
she has had one Of the imperial
princes join the service in order to
stimulate interest in it.
So great has the interest grown
in the service that no one country
in Europe is able to give the in
struction to the number Of young
men the Japanese government is
sending to Europe to receive in
struction in the military use Of the
airplane. Large contingents of Jap
anese have been sent to all allied
countries to learn their methods of
fighting in the air.
With their genius for imitation,
the Japanese have turned from the
Germans as their military instruc-
tors to the latest fashion in militar-
ism, which is French. The French
have sent a large mission of military
instructors to Japan to make that
warlike nation more military and
more capable of defeating some
white people some day.
France has evidently forgotten
the statement that the French am
bassador to Japan made concerning
his observations of japanese loyalty
during the war to the cause of
France and England. The French
ambassador declared that when in
1917 Germany had the allies on their
knees, Japan was preparing to de-
sert the sinking entente ship like
a rat and only hesitated because she
knew that the United States had
the power, if she had the will, to
turn the scales against Germany
even if Japan should transfer her
self to the German side.
The French ambassador further
declared that the real object Of the
Japanese mission to the United
States at that time was to investi-
gate and report back to the Jap
anese government their opinion
whether or not the United States
had gone into the war with a de-
termination to win or had gone into
it as form of protest against Ger
many's submarine campaign. 1t
was the report of this mission that
the United States had the will to
conquer AND WOULD CONQUER
that kept Japan loyal to her engage
ments, so the French ambassador
said.
Today France is letting her best
aviation instructors teach Japan,
while Germany has sent to the Far
East, at the invitation of Japan,
her best young commanders of sub
marines
The Washington times., 1921-04-04
@1 11niEARl, S5EFnG$s1

Out near Silver Springs, Nd. saw
this sign:
r. 1. r. EGGS
For Hatching
Honey.
GREGORY BERGLING.
THE LUCKY GUY.
An auto bumped him in the shins;
A horse stepped on his face
A car ran o'er his portside hip
And knocked 1t out of place.
A safe fell down from out the sky
And landed on his chest;
Caved In a dozen ribs and tore
six buttons from his vest
But when he sued for damages
And finally got them, why.
His friends all murmured solemnIv
Gee. he's . lucky guy"
FLAvIUs.
The Washington times., 1921-04-04
LOOF LIRP 4.

The foregoing is an ancient
Latin Interpretation, and can be
appreciated only upon comprehen-
sive Interpretation. The old DO
tentates of Rome were overcome
with joy when hailed by this
greeting. A noted Latin ruler,
while in a hilarious state, ordered
the person who had thus greeted
him to be beheaded as mark Of his
affection for that person. Even
in this age there are fellows who
feel like beheading the guy who
uses the term.
For full effect just spell the two
words backwards. H. DEW.
The Washington times., 1921-04-04
THE DISAPPEARING ROLL.

Say, Uncle Ned, To- All went
to France to fight de Germans
All glib you SIS ter put in der
bank fer me. How bout it,"
Boy, you sho' must be looney.
De intrust done gone and ett dat
UP long ago."
JULES BACKENHEIMER.
The Washington times., 1921-04-04
MIR. B. Baer
HAS ANYBODY HERE
SEEN GROyERs

Although anxious to come
back to the scene OF his
former triumphs. Rover
Bergdoll has asked the We'll
come Committee to cancel
all parades in his honor.
The iron polishers are
shining up a happy jail for
Rover, who now realizes
that, be IL ever so humble,
there is no Jail like home.
The famous fugitive from
prohibition realizes what
II Is to be a commuter
without a station, a Hawaii
an without a ukulele and a
man without a country.
The Government has had
some trouble harvesting
last seasons crop of Berg
dolls. but hopes to have
'em all husked and shocked
before the fall frost.
The American Legion Is
very willing to pin some
heavy medals on Rover's
wrists and ankles. but asks
the public not to poke
sticks or umbrellas into his
cage. or course, very
fine malscca cane Is all
right Rover can't dope
what all the astonishment
is about Everybody want
ed him to go to Europe
some time ago. Now every
body is sore because he
went. You can't please the
capricious public.
Now the public will be
glad to see Rover home. But
when they see him they
will probably change their
minds and get sore some
more. Strange thing that
a wife will sing, where is
My Wandering Boy To-
night?" But when her
blind tigering husba and
wandles Back to the home,
swat home, she puts up
his hair in rolling pins.
The luxurious culprits
may go to Europe. But
there is something about
America that brings 'em
back. Rover will soon be
home again in America.
where even the sink full
of smudged dish water has
its own little rainbow.
Folks anxious to make
Grover some welcoming
gift are asked to throw 1t
gently.
The Washington times., 1921-04-04
A LUCRATIVE PROFESSION.

Mother-I think 1t time to start
William to the law school.
Father thought so, too, till booze
prescriptions became so lucrative.
Now I think we'll have him study
medicine. IL he's bright enough to
discover new diseases requiring liquor
he ought to make a fortune.
MACHINE, GUN MIKE.
The Washington times., 1921-04-04

A new clothing dealer placed
over his store door a large sign
on which was painted q large
apple.
why the apple on the sign?"
asked a curious citizen.
Vell' replied the store pro-
prietor. "vot would de clodinp
pizxness be IL 1t vassent for the
abble." ADAM NIrTr
The Washington times., 1921-04-04
Love Is one game that's nevcs'
called on account of darkness.
PERCY V.
RIGHTO!

Tho town council was discussing
laying a cement crossing. There was
considerable disscnsion. Finally one
OF the members said, "If we would
only put our heads together the cross
ing would be done"
ADAM MUTT.
The Washington times., 1921-04-04
The Menace
of Ignorance
4 BSOLUTISM is necessitated by


- Democracy develops in pro-
portion as intelligence increases.
That is all there is to it.
There is no sense in beating about
for strange and curious reasons why
we are oppressed, why we suffer
from the tyranny of rings, gangs,
trusts or bosses; nor why some per-
sons enjoy unearned privilege and
others suffer, though worthy.
There is but one reason-igno-
rance.
There is but one cure-intelli-
gence.
You get rid of the wrongs of gov
ernment and the torts of men only as
you raise the level of thinking
among the masses.
We have as good a government as
we deserve.
Also in all the profteering and
manipulation of shrewd power we
got what was coming to us.
The only remedy for social, eco
nomic and political ills is through
the schoolhouse.
1t is ignorance every oppressor of
mankind plays upon. The despot
rules simply because his subjects
have not sense enough to organize
and get rid of him.
The religious prosecutor leads the
people to fanatic violence and him.
self to place and rule because he
knows the technique of handling
their superstitious fears.
The arbitrary potentate in bust
ness, who lives in luxury while he
keeps workmen toiling under unfair
conditions, holds his power only so
long as people are too stupid to get
together and check him.
The demagogue is but pimple on
the body polite showing the poison
of ignorance in the blood.
Enthusiastic reformers are prone
to fancy that if we could get a per-
feet government everybody would
be happy and prosperous.
They would not.
To give perfect government to
an ignorant populace would do about
as much good as to present a grand
piano to a Blackfoot Indian.
The fundamental error with all
ideal theories of government is that
what ails US is bad government.
They are wrong.
1t is a part of the old error, the
most ancient error of mankind-to
wit: That circumstances make us.
Quite the contrary; we make cir
cumstances.
We are forever looking to ex-
ternals. But only from within comes
healing and progress.
The mass of men are always look
ing for something out of a bottle.
When they are sick they take
drugs, instead of behaving them
selves and getting we'll.
When they are in grief they look
around for somebody or something
to blame, instead of looking within.
To tell the truth, to expose hum
bugs, to train children to think
straight, to learn discipline, and to
train and develop our intelligence,
this is the only way out for men,
women and nations.
Before a people clear-eyed, un-
afraid, resourceful and understand
ing the arts of organization, tyrants,
rascals and political confidence
men flee as bats before the sunlight.
The Washington times., 1921-04-04
THE COME BACK.

They sat side by side on the sofa.
sweet little miss and her beau.
The lad was a lazy young lofa
His conceit filled her with woe.
IT wish had wit" said the lassie,
I'm go quiet, so II seems"
Fishing for compliments?" asked sassy.
Lassie-'No. never in shallow. streams"
ZERO.
The Washington times., 1921-04-04
HIS MARBLES GONE.

Mother-Don't be selfish, Johnny.
Let baby brother play with your
marbles,
John-But he won't give 'em back.
Mother-Yes he will.
John-I guess not. He's swallowed
two of 'em already. VA.
The Washington times., 1921-04-04

All that glitters is not gold,
but TX 1 had gold I'd glitter.
Yet 1 wouldn't sit out in the cold
And. like some folks, litter.
MILO H.
The Washington times., 1921-04-04
GOING DOWN.

GOING DOWN.
One of the bankers tells
us money Is to be cheaper.
II II gets much cheaper
than IL IL IL won't be
worth any more than the
Governments honda
The Washington times., 1921-04-04
ETA BITA PIE.
WHEN EASTER FALLS ON APRIL :,

Regarding Easter, wonder how
many fans know that in 1923. Isl5 ana
1855 Easter will fall on April I. Tbt.
is not April fool stun. C. n
The Washington times., 1921-04-04
Smiles

A COMMON MISTAKE.
Some people think they
are snappy when they are
merely snippy.
The Washington times., 1921-04-04

She
Roses are red,
Niolets are blue.
He
Flowers are expensive,
Won't candy do.
oIpoNo.
The Washington times., 1921-04-04

The hyocritical man praises his
wife's beauty at home, and then
stands in line an hour waiting
for tickets to q burlesque show.
OIDONO.
The Washington times., 1921-04-04

CAVE MAN STYLE.
Stopping to ask permission,
Is the last thing to do.
For love is q walled garden
That one must break into.
Take boldly like a robber,
Although the lass be veSed--
The hrst kiss must be stolen
But she'll give the next.
TEBo CLUE.
An old maid undressing may ~
called q lemon peeling. ".
The Washington times., 1921-04-04

Although anxious to come
back to the scene OF his
former triumphs, Rover
Bergdoll has asked the We'll
come Committee to cancel
all parades in his honor.
Pueblo chieftain., 1921-01-18
FOREIGN AND DOMESTIC MARKETS
DAYS STOCK SALES
VERY INACTIVE

New York, Jan. 17.-Variablc gains
among industrial utilities and specialt
les, particularly those under profess
sional control and moderate reactions
in tho rails measured the extent of to-
days dull and inconclusive stock mar
ket. Sales of 5S5. 900 shares represented
the smallest dealings in several weeks
Financial and industrial happenings
over the week end were still of con-
fusing character. Improvement in the
federal reserve bank position was
neutralized by the deficits in actual
reserves revealed last Saturday by
local associated banks altho this is
subject to speedy correction.
Western points reported further de-
crease in railway tonnage and a slug
gish Investment market, but advices
from more remove sections in tho west
and southwest indicated a pronounced
turn for the better in general business
and credited conditions. The foreign
exchange market was strong. especial
ly continental European rates.
Money quotations were unaltcred, all
the days call loans being made at
6 per cent, with n stiffcning Of outside
quotations.
The demand for bonds was irregular
with uncertainty of tone. especiaily in
the foreign divisions, where French
issues cascd.
Liberties were active and mostly
substantially higher Total sales par
value. -sf3, 800 900. Old L. S. bonds un-
changed on call.
Pueblo chieftain., 1921-01-18
SAMMY S|EGER
CLAIMS RIGHT
TO MEET CHAMP

BY knocking out Johnny Murray in
Square Garden. Sammy Sicger the
former amateur champion. domonstrat-
cd that he is the most logical contend
er for Kilbancs' featherwcight title.
Heretofore Murray had never suffered
defeat, let alone being knocked out.
Johnny Kilbano the title holder and
Andy Chaney the former Baltimore
battlcr have met Murray on diverse
occasions and after the most stubborn
competition, kilbane was defeated
while in one of the many CLANCY
matches the press was divided as to
the victor: so Siegcrs accomplishment
looks all the more resplendant.
Murray up till last night had been
regarded as the hardest hitting feath-
erweight in the. game and a serious
contender for the title and Sieger' s
knockout over n foe of Murray's coli
brc, stamps him as one of the greatest
featherweights of all time.
The contest was to have been n ten
round affair, but Sieser's whirlwind at
tack ended hostilities soon. Siegcr
dropped Murray five times during the
two stanzas.
Siegers offer of last week to box Kill
bane for training expenses still holds
good.
Murray is not the only good lad that
Sieger has defeated Others that little
Sammy has been victorious over arc
Joe Burman. Dick Loadman. Bobby
Michacis. Dutch Brandt, Matty Her
bert, Billy Murphy and altho he gave
Tommy Noble a bad beating in their
i5-round bout the judges decided the
contest a draw.
Sieger is being handled by Harry
Alberts. Room so9 1545 Broadway,
\. Y. Sieger stands ready to meet any
boy in the country at l26 pounds.
Pueblo chieftain., 1921-01-18
VANDERBILT RACE
STABLE TO Be
BROUGHT TO U. S.

New York. Jan. 17..A large part
of the noted French racing stable OF
the late William X. Vanderbilt will be
brought to America this year. ~ X
Macombcr, the California horscman.
announced here today.
Mr.. Macomber acquired the stable
last September ut a price reported at
about s1,000.00O.
Among thirty-siN horses to be ship
ped to the country are the two famed
breeding stations. Seasick and Over
sight, which during their racing life
won s125.OoO each; eight horses in
training and more than n score OF
yearlinEs Among the racers are
Tchai. 5-year-old, winner Of the 1919.
French derby; Brumado. Liberty loan,
Hand Grenade and Warfamc.
Pueblo chieftain., 1921-01-18

Cleveland, Ohio. Jan. Lice Fohl,
appointed manager OF the St Louis
Americans for 1921 probably is the
only "busher" who ever had a chance
in managerial job in the American
League who was dropped and then re-
called to take the reins of another
club in the same circuit According
to iris Speaker, who relived Fohl
manager of the Cleveland Americans.
the new leader of the Browns is ''one
of the Smartest men and keencst
students of baseball / have ever met
Fohfs first experience as an Amcri-
can League manager was in 1915,
when he succeeded Joe Birmin CHAM
as pilot of the Cleveland team. He
did little but experiment that year
and the team finished in seventh place
with percentage of 1858. The club
won forty-fiye games and lost seventy
nine.
The next season the team finished
in sixth. winning seventy-seven and
losing the same number OF games.
Tho 1917 season found the Indians
coming into their own. winning
cishty-ciCht aud losing sixty-six
games for a mark OF .55t, which gave
them third place. During the alb
hrcyiltCd season of 1915, his team fin
he'd in a"cnHd place with Il mark of
no. winning scvcnty-threc and losing
iGiN-four. The consensus of opinion
among baseball fans was that had
the season gone the limit, Cleveland,
iustcad OF Boston, would have won
III" pCnnant.
It was in 1919 that "Babc" Ruth
"batted Fohl out Of the league"
fohl's resignation came on July 10,
1919 after 4 game which the locals
lost to Boston after having had a four
run lead. With three Red Sox on the
bases. and the score to 1. Fohl in
serted Fred Coumbe. a southpaw who
had not worked for month. into the
game. Coumbe made the mistake of
Pueblo chieftain., 1921-01-18
ST. LOUIS BROWNS
HAD 8 MANAGERS

st. Louis. Mo, Jan. Lice Fohl.
1921 manager OF the St Louis Ameri-
cans, is the eighth helmsman the club
has had since entering the league in
1902. OF the seven who preceded him,
only two took places in the first di-
vision with the team.
Jim McAlcor had a second place en-
try in 1902 when the highest percent
age ever made by the Browns-.574.
was established. In 1905. he pilotcd the
organization into fourth place. and it
was not until the 1890 season that it
again finished in the first division, cap
turing fourth place under the leader
ship of Jimmy Burke.
McAlcer served the longest term
from 1902 to 1909. inclusive,-and In
the following eleven campaigns. six
managers had their turn Jack OCon-
nor, Bobby Wallace. George Stoyall.
Branch Eickcy, Fielder Jones and
Burke.
between 1909 and 1914, when Hickey
took up the rcins, the Browns never
finished higher than seventh. and
twice ended in the last place, the sea-
sons average OF 1911 being .296. This
was the lowest in the clubs history.
Pueblo chieftain., 1921-01-18

McRae, johnson and Davidson then
finished up the afternoon with a two
game match, McRae getting 393 pins.
johnson 356 and Davidson $50.
Davidson. 1SQ-1T0; johnson, 1S5-
III; McRae. 2O2-19i.
Mr.. and Mrs. Coffee entertained a
couple of arrivals from Stockholm,
Coffee Party.
i17 III 1oe 100 III i24- 500
Other Party:
146 1i6 13i 147 1872 14l- Sls
Hanson
I7s l45 125 157 1ss l4s- o1o
Carmen was too much for his
brother: *. Pieserchio, 14i-13o; c.
Fiscrchio, i61-ISO.
Wagner could take but two games
from Mumford, one pin settled the ar
-ucmcnt in the first game.
Wasner ~ iS2 ia5 l55 -
Since Cannon made that 2O5 game
he is out to duplicate the score but
there was apparently not much danger
in his game with Graves.
Cannon .'.... ~ i3G itS III
Lew Brennison didn't have to pull
on the purse string until the final
game.
Brennison ...... 1S4 157 175 154
Perry ......... 1iS 152 1853 1T5
Eagle. I46-lii-131; Shepler, los
--11T-I05. New members.
Ducks
IIcslcp's best individual scores:
92--li5--lt9--9t- 12S-o6-Ic5-2S
ST. 23---t16.
Mishmash. od-S9-li6: johnson,
S7-1i9-oi.
A. W. Jones. oo--9i; Wolf. 7s-S1.
Wallace, 113-7S--a4-i27-
aGi Kemp, 97-tl5-96-11i--l2l-
Si.
Thur. Si-oi-7s; Johnson. o5-So
-92.
Pueblo chieftain., 1921-01-18
LEE F0HL HAS HAD STRANGE
EXPERIENCES IN BASEBALLD0M
Player Appointed Manager St. Louis Americans for
1921 Is Only "Busher' Who Has Been
Dropped and Then Recalled

trying to fool Ruth with n slow one,
and Babe" hoisted the ball over the
screen for a homo-run, winning the
game by one run.
Tho fans had been riding Fohl,
and after this incident he decided that
it woulr be foolhardy to continue as
manager.
Fohl is a great developer of play
crs, among those profiting by his ad-
vice being Stanley Covcleskie, Jim
BaEby, Bill Wambsganss. Steve O'Neill
and Elmer Smith, all members of the
Cleveland club. Thru Fohl's study of
opposition players, it is said he was
able to tip Off his own players as to
the little peculiarities of the pitchers.
as to when TO expect curve, fast ball
or splitter.
Fohl expects to take two Cleveland
'sandlotters' to St. Louis for trials.
They are First baseman Harry Brun-
ner and outfielder Moxie Davis.
Fohl's first real professional career
started with DeS Moines in 1903. He
failed to make good with. Cincinnati
in 1904. and during that and the next
season he played scmi-professional
ball at Homestead, Pa, and Youngs-
town. The following season he was
with Youngstown in the o. e p. Lea
que. In 1907 and 1908 he played with
Columbus and in 1903 was manager of
the Lima, O., team, winning his first
pcnnant.
The following three years he was
manager of the Akron team, winning
pennants the first two seasons. He
was with the Columbus o. e p. team
at the start of 1913, and when the
team blew up he went to Huntington.
w. Va, as manager. bringing the team
up from last to second place in the
last half of the season. In 1914 he
was manager of the Waterbury, Conn.
club. He came to Cleveland late that
season and in 1915 remained As coach
of the pitchers until he succeeded
birmingham As the manager.
Pueblo chieftain., 1921-01-18
BOXING RESULTS

Salt Lake City, Utah. Jan. 17.-Abi
Mishkind of Salt Lake won a ten
rounl decision over Joe "Wop" Flynn,
of Denver here tonight.
Rcd Ncwey of Ogden won a six
round dcci1ion over Kid" Mack of
Salt Lake.
Buffalo. y. Y, Jan. Hilary Wills
of New Orleans retained the negro
heavyweight championship by knock
ing out BIZ Tate Of New York in the
second round of n scheduled lj-round
bout tonight.
st. Louis. Mo-. Jan. 17.-Kid Ragan
of st. Louis was given the newspaper
decision over Jimmy Ritchio of Chi
cago I'm an cight-round bout tonight,
They are fcathcrwcighs.
Pueblo chieftain., 1921-01-18
.|lL|NI. QUINTET
FACES. PROMISE

Urbana, ILL.,. Jan. 1I.-Basket ball
hopes at the University of Illinois
hoped upward with the appearance in
uniform of Charles Carney. former all
western center. who has been unable
to practice because of a badly sprained
leg. Carney. who was practically a
unanimous choice for all-American
end at the close of last falls football
season. was injured in the Western
Conference championship game with
Ohio.
Possibility that Carney may get into
conference games late this month was
expressed by basket ball followers. He
is still wearing a plaster cast on his
knee but. altho forced to walk with a
limp has lost none of his old-timc ac-
curacy in shooting baskets.
With Carney back at the pivot posi-
ton. Coach Winters believes he will
have real surprise at center. but is
regarded az Il little slow for Big
Ten competition. Captain Vail, Nice.
Walquist and Collins are all in good
condition and are being given .strenu-
Gus practice sessions in preparation for
tho Big Ten flag race.