The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1921-08-09
AW, HAVE A HEART! HAVE A HEART! If
YOU DESERT US THEN WE SHALL
BE BEREFT INDEED

Mac Pin crepe on the execrable mem
ory. I'll bet the lady has to tie a string on
your fin to remind you to your hanky.
What's the matter with that bundle of 3-star
lHennessey wheezes l slipped you; too joyous :?
Or do you own goat? What sunk the item
where Willie Deffendoll, aged II, shot the head
Of his mother, aged 20, to pieces to amuse
Dollie Defendoll, aged %? Too grewsome for
a duck who wanted to cut his wife's throat
with penknife, presumably because she h.
t. d. h. So
Just as suggestion, why don't you start
a~competitive contest, something you can put
your real soul into. We have had enough
home and lattice and alliterative poesy. Start
something where your half-concealed frenzy,
as evidenced by your confessed throat whiting
desire, ante bonesetting episode followed by a
full meaD burial CT nascent humor, etc, etc,
ETC., ad lib, can find fullest expression. "Mirth-
less rhymes for heartess homes" should lust
be your speed. The following are not mine but
merely illustrative:
Into the cistern, which the plumber built 'er
Aunt Eliza fell-we must get a filter"
Willie, in one of his bright new sashes,
Fell in the fire and was burned to ashes
Now, although the room grows chilly,
We haven't the heart to poke poor Willie"
Well the irrepressible Judy now goes be-
low to find comfort with Rory.
Till see you there,
DIR. BIGGAR thinks John D. will live to be
100 years old and has dated him up for a round
of golf when both have reached the century |
g.
The game of golf never will be permitted in /
heaven
I'm the fall of 1914 1 went to Princeton
university begins William F. McCombs' story
of THE Woodrow Wilson Campaign" in the |
Quincy Whig-Journal. g. For the next two
years 1 came in contact with Professor Will
son occasionally" the chronicle continues
Odd, the things one learns from reading
these inside stories. Frinstance, we had 1
thought Wilson was president of the United .
States in 1914.
The Italics Are George MacdonaId's h
(And the Broadway answers are Marc
Connelly's) II
IRON the Coming Tower1 II
LAS The Argus has no italics will the COM il
positor please set Mr.. Macdonalds lines in k
blackface? Thank you)
Where did you come from, baby dear7
The Chorus Equity sent me here. ;
Where did you get those eyes so blue?
l mixed No. with some No. 9 Il
What makes the light in them sparkle and spin a
fhats belladonna just dropped in.
Where did you get that little tear? t
Ihats glycerlne. Gosh, you're dumbelI, dear! Il
What makes your forehead so smooth and high f
rubber gimmick that 1 apply. b
What makes your cheek like warm white rose b
Alabastine, for the chin and nose a
Whence came that three-cOrnered smiIa of hliss h
used court plaster to get me this Il
! here did you get this pearIy cart il
mere lots of US bringing them out this year
Where did you get those arms and hands?
ustllng my baggage at one-night stands NJ
low did they all just come to be WON'T 10 :.
here's nothing publicity men can't do. g,
ut how did you come to us, Won deare l.s
must have been cuckoo. exit hera a.
YAH Heie al
THE story of the suspension OF Chief of VI
oiice Boettscher and of the closing Of vice re
'sorts as reported In the first page story of VI
he Democrat Friday night were true in every Ia
stall," writes Hizzoner Mister Barewald. al
Oh, 1t were, were it? &C
Including. of Course. Quart Hin Pockets. hi
lFrom the Monmouth Ill) Atlas1
They motored from Olymnia tn
Wash, in their new Nash touring car H
camping the entire way, making the dis W,
lance or 1900 miles in IL days MI or
McGraw is completely furnished with irr
splendid travelling equipment Ifr
TWO fappers were exchanging condolences pl
an Elm street car. Said the first Tanner III
,ont talk sloud; va might give the old how ed
THRILL 10 winch the second happer retort-
witheringly, Huh; he wouldn't know a de
r1H II ne got one-hed think it was chilli"
A MISSOURI senator James A. Rex caIled m,
,nry Ford the most contemplate figure in he
bile life" -euie IA n S
MANY unknovns rst nuh,,o,,u s sh,
& Henry. y Nc III.