davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1921-12-10
Ripping Rhymes
CANNED KINGS.
By Walt Mason

The man who's once held down a
throne is good for nothing else, it
seems, and though hes exiled and
alone, the reigning graft still fills his
dreams King Carl tried twice to nail
the crown that war had lifted from
his brow; his former subjects turned
him down, and he is on the hogtrain
now. And people say Ex-Kaiser Bill
yet dreams of going back once more,
TO ply a scepter with the skill that
got him in the soup before. And
doubtless Kronprinz William hopes to
be monarch, wearing bells. as he is
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1921-12-10
After Dinner Stories

PA, what's an actor"
An actor, my boy, is a person
who can walk to the side of the stage,
peer into the wings at group of
other actors waiting for their cues, a
number of bored stage hands and a lot
of theatrical odds and ends, and eX,
claim, What 4 lovely view there is
from this Window"
"Feller, why for yo,all dabblin' wild
dis here oysterpathy?" asked Rastus.
Cause All done read in book dis
oysterpathy done theat OBJ de manipu
iating OBJ bones, and de onIiest par
TALLY Abs got is humorjn' dc gallop,
n. dominoes to pass in review, was
Sambo's reply.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1921-12-10

that Mr.. Ryan lives
there, he says that
his home port is
the old farm in
Nelson county, Vir-
GINA. where he
was born. He says
he never lived any
where else since he
was born, and as
residence is a mat
ter purely of in
tention, the Wiz
ginians are having
trouble trying to
to make Ryan a
New Yorker,
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1921-12-10
CHILD ALMOST sTRANGLED

Mrs. q. Grab, 3116 washington Ave.
New Orleans, La, writes: My child
had a cough SO bad she would almost
strangle coughing. Foley's Honey and
Tar relieved her cough, and I recon-
mendit to any mother" Foley's Honey
and Tar gets right at the seat of trou-
bic clears nose and throat of mucus.
heals a raw and inflamed surfaces.
loosens tightness of the chest and
checks Group. whooping cough, bron-
chial and FLU" coughs. A. 9. Luken
Drug Co. 626-G2S Main St-Advertise-
mont.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1921-12-10
After Dinner Trick S

No. 3o-Find Marked Cigarette Paper
A cigarette paper is taken from
packet OF papers and is marked. 1t
is then mixed in with the rest, and the
performer, placing the papers beneath
the table, Immediately draws out the
marked one.
Most cigarette papers are cut on the
bias. that is. instead of the corners be-
ing square, they are at an angle. While
one paper is being marked. the packet
is secretly turned around, so when the
paper is replaced tv. of its corners will
protrude slightly. When he places the
packet beneath the table. the performer
feels for the rrotruding corners and
draws out the marked paper.
Copyr.ght BY Public Ledger Company
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1921-12-10
TIT PATIENTS AT MARION

MARION, Ind, &c. 10-There are
III patients receiving treatment at the
Marion National sanitarium, ex-serv-
ice men coming from all parts of the
United States New patients are ar
irving daily. and there is bed capacity
Tor 968. Additional hospital accommo-
cations are to be provided soon to
meet the increasing demand for treat
ment
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1921-12-10
To Prevent Badness

Badness can be prevented easier
than cured. Stop falling hair and
dandruff by using Partisan sage; best
for the hair. We guarantee money
back if not satisfactory. A. G. Luken
Drug Co.-Adyertiseme
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1921-12-10
MARCELETTE

He was good looking and women had
always liked him. This had been per-
haps the cause of his failure in life
He had been spoiled by women They
had always considered him first and
he had grown to expect too much from
life At thirty-nine he found himself
d success among the women; but fired
from every job that he had ever had
He was q clever cOnversatiOnalist and
was gifted with tact He was neat and
always looked we'll groomed There
was a certain discipline in his way Of
living.
At forty he married rich woman
and she was older than he was, Many
a poor chap has worked for years and
does not live as comfortably as he
does
You never can tell from where you
sit if the picture is in focus or not
Marcel Steinbrugge.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1921-12-10
MO HEssIAN FLY TROUBLE

TIFFIN, Ohio, Dec. 1o,-Wheat is
practically free from Hessian Fly in
this territory, T. H. Parks, state en-
tomologist, reported after an inyes-
tigation.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1921-12-10

To- return postage All replies are sent
direct to the iuqui~er)
Q. How many people paid admis'
sions to Sc exporting events within the
past year? o. NJ. y,
4. Grantland Rice. the well known
sports writer. estimates that there
we're about 100. 100000 admissions PAID
to see sporting events, which would
include baseball, racing, football, box
ing. wrestling, track and field, goIt'
tennis basketball, soccer, hockey, etc,
The money paid for admission. he es-
Inmates at 5000 100000.
O. How long did it take Noah Web
stcr to compile his dictionary?
4. Noah Webster began his pre-
narration for his American Dictionary
Of the English language in 1907, and
published it in 1928. Previous TO 1907
he had published speller and "A
Compendious Dictionary both OF
which were probably helpful in the
new undertakings The American Die
tiCnary contained 1900 more words
and about 10000 more definitions
than had appeared in any English
fish dictionary published before his.
q. What is aromatic vinegar: A NJ
A. Aromatic vinegar is a solution
of the volatile oils of cinnamon. cloves,
lavendar, juniper, peppermint. lemon
and rosemary in alcohol, vinegar and
water Ic is used as a cooling lotion
in headaches and feyeTs.
O. Who wrote The Old Oaken
Bucket" where was it written and
when? T. 5. d.
\. The Old Oaken Bucket" was
written BY Samuel Woodwork in the
summer Of 1917, while he and his fami-
" we're living in Duane Street, New
York.
Q. Where in the Bible can I find
reference to the man in the moon?
D. A. R.
\. Legend connects the man in the
moon with the man spoken OF in num-
bers. 10Th chapter, sgd to 37th verses,
who was condemned to death for ga
thering sticks on the sabbath. There
are also legends to the effect that
Cain is the man in the moon.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1921-12-10
MUSINGS for The Evening

Mrs. Smith Wilkinson Of London is
going to bring her five-million-dollar
gown TO America. It ought to make
hit but it is doubtful if the diamonds
will stay on long.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1921-12-10

You'll not smell like Cleopatra after
a Blue Devil bath, but you will be
sweeter than Cleo ever was.-Adver-
tizenont.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1921-12-10

Narconi declares that Mars and
Earth will not exchange messages
until a radiophone with a million
horsepower is constructed. But having
waited several hundred thousand years
for the message, probably we will be
able to stand the strain a few months
Longer
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1921-12-10
Who S Who in the
Day S News

THOMAS FORTUNE RYAN
New York has long claimed Thomas
Fortune Ryan as one OF its leading
residents. Now when a Virginia CON
Germ comes along and tries to prove
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1921-12-10

A little exercise after the bath is a
good thing, according to a physician.
One good way to get it, according to
a contributor. is to step on the soap.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1921-12-10

Even if all the other nations dis
arm, it is doubtful if the Bolsheviki
will give up their soap.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1921-12-10
Answers to Questions

(Any reader can get the answer TO
any question by writing The Palladlum
Information Bureau. FREDERICK J. Hask-
in. director, washington. D. {. This % o.
fer applies strictly to information. ne
medical and financial matters, u does
not attempt to settle domestic troubles,
nor TO undertake exhaustive research
on any subject Write YOUR question
plainly and briefly. Give full name and
address and enclose two cents IN stamps
for return postage. All replies are sem
aIrnLt 70 The imnmi-erO
The state herald., 1921-01-14

u VENTS make sport of the schemes
sG Of mice and men. Mckinley en-.
tered the race for the presidency on
the tariff issue, was elected on the
money issue and the greatest
problems that confronted him In the
White House We're the fate Of a chain
of islands or the coast of Asia and
the destiny of China!
Spain had been engaged for two
years In desolating struggle to hold
In subsection the revolving island Of
Cuba. and two happenings pushed
Mckinley into the conflict In spite of
himself. In private letter, the Span
ish minister at Washington scofTed at
the president as a ''pollticastro'-
in plain American, "a peanut poll
tldan"-and plainly intimated that
the fair promises which the Spaniards
were giving him were only II trick to
fool the administration and the Amer
lean people. Within week of that
exposure. the battle,hip Maine was
blown up in Havana h1rbor, with the
loss of 2G6 American lives.
After withstnndlng for Learly two
The state herald., 1921-01-14

WILLiAM MCKINLEY challenged
w and disproved the old saying
that the presidency casts Its shadow
on no man but once and that II the
chance be missed then 1t will never
come again. Twice the Republican
nomination seemed to be within Nc
Kinley's reach--in the national con-
ventions of 1888 and 1892. Each time
he put 1t away, content to wait his
proper turn. when he did not have to
shake the tree to bring down the
ripened fruit of his patience.
Mckinley was beaten for the speak
ership by Thomas b. Reed in 1889. and
he left Washington a defeated con-
gressman only six years before he re-
turned as president-elect. Had he
been speaker. and. instead Of Reed. in
Cured the title Of Gear" or had he
not been turned out Of congress . I.
had he won those smaller honors he
well might never have won the highest
honor. A disappointment manfully
borne enlists the popular sympathy
and the author OF the Mckinley bill
entered the contest for the presidon-
tial nomination in 1896 as one who had
suffered martyrdom in the cause OF
the protective tariff.
After teaching school u term or So
Mckinley was called in the Civil war.
that hard university which graduated
the men who were 20 lead the nation
The state herald., 1921-01-14

through four decades. Having gonc
into the army as private In the
regiment OF another prcsident-to-be-
Rutherford Il. IIayes--hc came ont ut
twenty-five n captain. with the brevet
title OF major.
Becoming n lawyer at Canton, o.,
again he found himself In the midst OF
industries In their STRUGGLING infancy.
And for II years he was the spokes-
man in congress OF that Industrial
district.
The young major, when he came TO
Canton, was cleun-cut. outstanding
figure, senlhl In his nature. but with
sober dignity HIS readiness Of speech.
when on his feet. came from his prnc-
tlcc Of the ART In the debating societies
OF his school days. His habits also
had been properly formed In his boy
hood when he Joined the Methodist
church NJ ten and grew up n youth
who was ns careful to keep his tongue
MS his collar clean.
All doors In the little town naturni-
ly swung open with welcome to
such nice young man." md n ma
jor TO boot. Although he wns yet
poor, when Ida SnxtoD. the bankers
daughter. who Ind been to school IN
New York city md who had just como
back from Europe. smiled yes to him.
while they were "tnking buggy ride"
the banker smiled, too. md mnde them
wedding gift OF one Of tho best
houses In Canton. II wns from tho
front porch OF that honeymoon dwell.
lnr that Mckinley made his campaign
for tho presidency IT. 1905.
McKinlcy's In one Of the bcst--nnd
one Of the most pathctic--lovc stories
In tho domestic records OF the prcsi.
dcncy. With the birth Of her second
child. the wife was loft nm invalid.
The death Of both Of her children with.
In Ave ycnrs Of her wedding day utter
ly overwhelmed her nervous organIxa.
tion. and her shattered health remain.
cd thcnccforth the constant object Of
her husbands tender care.
Although he never could know from
minute TO minute when she would
pnss into II swoon. hc mnde her his
companion on his travels. Once when
he hurried home from congress. and
tho physicians had given up hope oi
saving her. his own fnInistrations and
his prayers through long night nj
her bedside recalled her to life.
The state herald., 1921-01-14
AUSTRALIAN WHEs- is GOOD
Larger Yield Obtained on psolfe
Coast Than Some Of Native
Commercial varletiec.

Tests made by the United States
Department OF Agriculture with 1870
lots OF Australian whents recently In
troduced Into this country have
brought out three. varieties sdnptcd
for growing on the Pacific const. where
they have produced larger yields than
some Of tho nntlvc commercial vn.
rictics. They nrc known Ms Federn.
tion, Hard Federation and White Fed.
crAtion, The Australian varieties In
general are susceptible to most cereal
diseases, but mnny Of these are not
destructive In the Pacific const region
The state herald., 1921-01-14

months the popular outcry OF RE
member the Maine" the president
yielded. and war was declared. In
ten days Dewey had smashed the
enemy squadron In Manila bay in ten
weeks another squadron was sunk
or captured Off Santiago; in three
months and Il half poor old Spain
threw up the sponge.
It took twice as long to mike peace
as to make war. The Philippines
caused all the trouble. As we had not
captured the islands In the war. many
believed that we should let them
alone. But Mckinley decided TO de-
mnnd from Spain the surrender OF
the Philippines.
Without waiting for ratification. the
president dispatched n military cxpc-
dltlon TO take over the Philippines,
proclnlmng to the revolving Flllplnos
the policy OF benevolent nssimiln-
tlon.' The resulting war dragged its
unpleasant length for two years be.
fore the Inhabitants unwillingly bowed
TO their new master.
II was the strange fortune OF a
president whose entire public life had
been given exclusively 10 domestic
questions 10 plant the .Iag In the dis.
innt Philippines and TO send II to the
pink walls OF the Forbidden City Of
China. In the march on Pcklng for the
rescue Of the forgcln legations from
the siege OF the Boxers. or Chinese
rcvolutionists. the United States Joined
other powers for the first time In q
military expedition.
Under the high statcsmnnship Of
John Hay. the secretary Of state. thu
United States had already. before the
Boxer rebellion. laid restraining hant
upon the nations TINT were lootlnp
Chinese territory md Ind drawn from
them pledges to keep an "opcn door
to trade In the ports they were seix
Ing at tho point Of the gun. Tn,
open door" Inns remained ever sine,
the chnrt OF our course In the Enst
II We will only continue TO follow 4
and should succeed IN inducing other
TO follow II while longer, until III,
giant VI the Orient awnkens from hil
long nlumber md shnkcs on his for
eIgn dcspoIIcrs, nn emnncipnted Chini
will be tho imposing monument o
william McKiniey's presidency.
The state herald., 1921-01-14
GRAIN GRADING
and MARKETING
Columbia University Added to
Number Of Colleges Giving
Course Of instruction.
OTHER INSTITUTIONS AIDING
United States Department Of Aprleul.
ture 10 Preparing Sets Of Trays
illustrating Various Grad.
Ing Factors.

Columbia university has recently
been added to the number OF colleges
giving instruction In grain grading and
marketing. The United States Depart
ment Of Agriculture, charged with the
administration of the grain standards
act, is keenly Interested In having such
instruction made part of college cur
ricula, particularly of agricultural col
leges, and today there are 20 colleges
where students study grain handling.
Columbia University Helping.
AT New York city the local federal
grain supervision Office is giving active
assistance to Columbia university in
outlining and presenting the grain
grading course TO be given, and sim
ilar help Is being accorded other col
leges by federal grain supervision Off.
cials located in 33 districts throughout
the United States. The department is
also preparing sets of eight type trays
illustrating the various grading factors
OF shelled corn, wheat, and oats, to be
lent to colleges teaching grain grading
under federal standards.
Last fall conference of teachers
of farm crops in number of agricul-
tural colleges with federal grain su-
pervision officials was held at Chicago,
where the entire grain situation was
discussed with view of equipping the
instructors with information that would
enable them 10 formulate courses OF
study In grain grading and market
Ing. Every phase OF the grain trade
was covered and report Of the con.
ference prepared for distribution
among the various colleges Interested.
Grazing Demonstrations.
Grain grading demonstrations cover
Ing n period of from one to twelve
days have been given by united'States
Department Of Agriculture experts be-
fore stud nts Of agricultural colleges
In II states. The department is pre-
pared TO assist colleges in every pos
sibie way In furnishing them with au.
'horliaiive Information regarding the
objects Of the grain standards act and
the practical application of Its pro-
visions.
The state herald., 1921-01-14
4 RELIEF.

"You don't know how much you have
cheered me-" said the fashionable ply
sician.
"Why, doctor. how can !, sick man,
cheer you?"
Because you are really sick and
need my professional skill to cure you.
Most Of my patients are rich people
with imaginary ailments. I'm glad to
get chance now and then to practice
something besides deception"
The state herald., 1921-01-14
ERADICATION OF cockLEsuR
Plant 10 Double. esrrslsd Gun Affair.
Carrying Two eesds-clreuiar Tells
How 10 XIII Il

In eradicnting tho corklcbur. rcmcm
ber tbnt II cnrrlcs double.bnrrcied
gun. Every bur cnrrLer two seeds
only one Of which sprouts the first
year. Even when the product Of thnl
sced Inns been killed the other will be
In shape to mike trouble the mex,
season. The United States Depart
intnt Of Agriculture has circular o.
the cocklcbur-- 10 get rid VI H.
The state herald., 1921-01-14

The Device Folded. and Open for Use.
A further object is to provide n piow
OF the manunl type, so constructed and
connierbalnnced that It's pushing and
pulling steering handle. relatively full
crumed. cxcrts a varying downward
pressure according 10 the depth and
resistance of the snow. The plow can
be adjusted 10 clear n path from %
10 90 Inches In width.
The state herald., 1921-01-14
Two vIsws Of Art,

Intending Purchaser Ito artist, who
Is selling his house)-Did you put
those figures on the walls?
Artist (modestly. though regarding
them us a strong asset)-Oh, yes-I-
Intending Purchaser-well. they
don't really matter. A coat Of white
wash would soon put that rlght.-Lon-
don Punch.
The state herald., 1921-01-14
A Doubtful Compliment.

He was an Englishman. and he
was pouring out his soul to an Amer
lean girl.
"You are divine" he told her. "As
graceful as n swan, as-!"
But she interrupted him: Say. SON.
ny. want to know right now. Was
that swan swiinmin' or wallin'T-
Tit-Bits.
The state herald., 1921-01-14
AM Important Condition.

do you object to hecklers?'
mot under certain circumstances"
answered Senator Sorghum. They're
great help II you can meet 'em be-
forehand and have 'em well re-
hearsed."
The state herald., 1921-01-14
Had To.

Had To.
Old Man-Yes, sir; I've smoked for
%. years, and then all Of sudden l
quit.
Young Man--What brought about
the change after SO many years?
Old Man-Went to work In a gaso-
line plant.
The state herald., 1921-01-14
SNOWPLoW IS coLLAPSIBLE
Simple and inexpensive contraption
May Be Folded Up and Carried
From Place TO Place.

The Scientific American, in ilins.
trating ana describing snowplow, the
Invention of V. w. Mason of Bridge
port, Conn, says:
The object of the invention is to
provide simple, inexpensive and col
lnpslhle pillow. which when folded may
be easily carried from place to place.
The state herald., 1921-01-14
Elastic size.

"What kind Of figure is Mrs.
Dressy?"
"If you 90 by the quantity It takes
to make her dresses, she is very tall.
but IL you measure her by the time
she takes to pay for them. she is very
short"
The state herald., 1921-01-14
No Value Rseslvsd.

No Value Rseslvsd.
"Just my luckI" old 81 Skinner
groaned.
"What isT.
"why, my wife's up and died, and,
we married only ten years-that 50 l
gave the preacher to marry us prac-
tically wasted |"
The state herald., 1921-01-14
Without Effect.

Without Effect.
ITO see ourselves as others see US
would, as the poet suggests, cause us
to think things over"
"Perhaps." replied Miss Cayenne.
But It doesn't seem to make much
Of an impression on some Of the mo-
ton picture stars"
The state herald., 1921-01-14
The Chorus Girl.

''Tottle won't go out to any more
lobster parties"
"Why notY"
"She has two-line part In the new
show. 1t opens In six weeks, so she's
got to get down to hard study"
The state herald., 1921-01-14
Do Be Practical.

Do Be Practical.
"Yes, have studied architecture
amid the palaces Of Venice and the
minarets of Spain"
"Good enough, son. Now let's see
what you can do in the way Of de-
signing tin garage."-Judge.
The state herald., 1921-01-14
Great Possibilities.

"Aren't you making a mountain out
Of mole hill?" inquired the ready
made philosopher.
II wish l could manage such a
transaction" answered the busy cit-
zen. "Td be the sure-enough real es-
tate wizard"
The state herald., 1921-01-14
Solved by Arbitration.

Mrs. Fusser-rm having trouble
with the cook, Algernon.
Mr.. Fusser-Anythlng can do7
Mrs. Fusser-Certainly. Write the
department Of labor to send a con-
ciliator without delay.
The state herald., 1921-01-14

1ss7-March q, William Mekln-
Icy lnauourated 24th
President, aged nfty.four.
1e9s-Fsb. IS, the battIsshlp
Maine blown up In Ha.
vana Harbor.
April 81, War declared
against Spain.
July 7, Hawaii annexed.
Aug. n, City Of Manila
captured.
Dec. 10. treaty Of peace
signed In Paris.
1sss-Fsb. I. the PhlIlppinf
War began.
1s0o-Auo. is, the Allied Expe-
dItion to Pekin.
tsot-sept. 6. Mckinley shot by
Leon czoIoosz.
Sept. IA, died, aged fifty
eight.
The state herald., 1921-01-14
TruthSu,.

The Dad-I don't know about lend
Ing you any more money. When I
lent you some two months ago. you
told me that you only wanted 1t for
little while.
The Boy-well. dad, didn't keep
It long.
The state herald., 1921-01-14
Copyright. 1890. by James Morrsn.l
WAITED HIS TURN

1s43-,'anuary 20, William Nc
kinIey born at Miles, o.
t86f.65-ln the Civil war.
1a67-secame q lawyer In Can.
ton, o.
1ses.7i-Proseeutino attorney Of
his county.
1871-Marrled Ida saxton.
1877-s1-Member Of congress.
1ss2.s6-eovernor Of Ohio.
18s6-June, Mckinley nominal
ed for president by the
Republican national con-
vontlor At st. Louis. No.
vember, elected.
The state herald., 1921-01-14

FOR SALE-White Rice pop corn. &c
per fb, large or small lots; also dill
pickles, $1.25 per gallon. p. Briggs.
Leave orders at Herald Office. 3-2t
The state herald., 1921-01-14
THE WRONG FUSS

THE WRONG FUSS
shs--o don't think you love me
any more, you never make . fuss
over me.
Ae-Tut, tut, had one with your
mether over you this morning.
The state herald., 1921-01-14

FOR sALE-W Wood alcohol with gly.
cerine anti.freexe solution.--At Tin
Shop. soft
The state herald., 1921-01-14

FOR SALE OR TRADE-one coh-
crete brick machine. viii trade
for Ford car.-W. ]. Detmer. Am.
herst, Colo, Phone 11r2S. 4-3F
The state herald., 1921-01-14
CT, ASSIF'IF1D
ADVERTISEMENTS IN THIS COLUMN WILL BRING RESULTS

FOR SALE or trade for good milk
cows, Kurtsman plano in good
shape.-Inquire at Tin Shop. .o-te