davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1921-02-09

apt to quarrel and fight that no one
can be friendly with us.
"When we were wild and got mad at
some wild animal that would have
liked to have killed us, how quick and
fierce we were and how we used our
great teeth!
"Ah, we knew how to fight! Our
family has always known!
But we have lived for so long
among such dangerous creatures that
we've become wild and dangerous our
selves and no one should try to be-
come friendly with US.
'They say that many of the monkeys
get angry because they find there are
people who don't know that there are
lots of different families of monkeys
and some are pleasant and friendly
and will make fine pets, and others are
cross and cannot be trusted.
''The monkeys say that that isn't
fair to the nice ones. for. if people meet
monkeys that are cross and horrid
they get the idea that all of them are
that way.
"But | dou't mind that Why should
+?
well started in to say that 1 only
had one face No one would or could
deny that spoke the truth. / said,
l believe, that | was given one face.
So was, and I've never been given an
other
Never. never, never did any one
ever offer me another face. No one
ever came to me and said;
"'Here, Baboon, have another face
and another pair of eyes, and so
forth
''No one ever did.
+ "Well, because no one ever has
find it necessary to pretend 1 have
more than one face.
"YOu may think that is strange, but
/ don't like to look the same at all
times.
"Of course. my general looks are al.
ways the same, and by my general
looks mean that have long, shaggy
hair rather Iion-like face, with
markings something of the color of the
markings of lions face. and great
teeth.
81 am a species of the Baboon fam
fly and my own family name is that
of Mandrill.
''WelI, as | said. l have these looks
all the time-my colorings and so
forth and the length of my hair.
"But like to look different at
times and so | make up faces. That's
not hard, you know. 1t sounds almost
impossible, but anyone can make up
the kind do, and l guess sometimes
creatures who. don't care how ugly
they look do make I'M faces something
like the ones make up.
They're very ugly, but people can
not help looking at me when I am
making up these faces.
"They come and stare at me and
look at them in all sorts of ways.
look horrible, horrible faces as
do make up.
"And so while l was only given one
face I'm able to make up lots of otll-
ers for myself at different times"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1921-02-09
GOOD AND LOGICAL REASON
Mrs. Jones Knew Exactly What She
Was Doing When She Selected
Baby's Names.

Mr. and Mrs. Jones had come to
that all-important past of naming
their new baby.
Mr.. Jones, who, by the way, detest-
ed work, and liked nothing better than
TO sit in front of the fire and watch
other people do it, wanted the baby
named plain bill"
Mrs. Jones had different views.
Il shall name the baby William oil
yer Robert Kenneth" she asserted.
But why all those names?' asked
her husband.
Because" replied Mrs. Jones. tart;
ly IF you look at the initials you will
find that they spell Work. so perhaps
when baby grows up, he will take to
it better than his father"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1921-02-09
Teacher pidn.t Know Sheep.

A teacher in country school stated
the problem as follows: IF there
were IL sheep in a field. and six Of
them jumped over low hedge in the
highway, how many sheep would re-
main In the fiel6?7 "None." replied
one of the young hopefuls. ''Why.
johnny expoStulated the teacher ;
"try again" None reiterated the
small boy; "you may know all about
figgerS, but you don't know much
about sheep"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1921-02-09
eaIl EoIled Thieves.

Among records OF stolen bells Is
that of one from Scissors in Bur
gundy, which Clothaire carried away.
The bell objected TO the act by gradu-
ally becoming dumb on the Journey to
Paris. where its voice was discovered
gone. But its voice returned in such
full force when the bell was sent
home that its tone could be heard
seven miles distant.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1921-02-09
Lions pon,t ga, Bananas.

"Here is q banana for you. Be SURF
and give little brother the lions
share"
The commotion a moment later told
only too clearly that little brother
didn't get any banana. When Johnny
was asked why he didn't obey his
mothers instructions he replied:
Liens don't eat bananas
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1921-02-09
SHELL GET wELLq"

Synopsis. - Lonely and almost
friendless, TonnibeI Devon. living
On canal Loaf with brutal Ia
Their and a w0Tn-out, discouraged
mother. wanders into a Salvation
armyhall at Ithaca. N. Z. There
she meets a young Salvation army
captain. Philip MacCauley. Uriahi
Devon, Tony's father, returns to
The boat from a protracted spree
And announces ne has arranged for
Tony to marry a worthless COM
Danion OF his. Reginald Brown.
Mrs Devon objects. and Uriah
sseats her. She intimates there Is
secret connected with Tonnibel.
IN clothes that Uriah has brought
Tony finds a baby's picture with a
notifiC alton Of reward for its re-
turn u a Doctor Pendlehaven.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1921-02-09

it a trial. have been very glad that /
did, for now feel much stronger and do
all of my work. | tell my friends when
they ask me what helped me, and they
think it must be grand medicine. And
it is. You can use this letter for tes-
timonial if you wish. - Mrs. HARRY A.
WILSON, r. F. ID. 5, Clcarfield, Pa.
The experience and testimony of such
women as Mrs. Wilson prove beyond
doubt that Lydia E. Pmkham's Vege-
table Compound will correct SUCH trou-
bles by removing the cause and restor-
ing the system to a healthy normal con-
dition. When such symptoms develop
as backaches, bearing down pains, dis
placements, nervousness and ''the
blue" a woman cannot act too promptly
in trying Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound if she values her future COM
fort and happiness.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1921-02-09
Their Opinions.

inciF Cptutones
sir sternly said the horse-faced
gent. q denonnce the present fashions
In women's garb as immodest, scandal
Gus and unhealthful ! declare that a
great deal of the literature of today
is harmful TO the youth of the and
reprobate the dance as device of the
devil T."
"And IN return. sir" snarled j. Full
Ter Gloom, II denounce the average
fiap-mouthed goody- good as utterly
useless and unutterably tiresome. and
demand that he 20 TO the devil and
stay there Kansas City Star.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1921-02-09
As II Sounded 70 Her.

A little girl was asked, upon her re-
turn home. how she liked the singing
of the congregation In the church.
Il liked it very much, indeed" she
said. although all the people said It
was bad"
"'All the people said 1t was bad
What do you mean, my dear?"
"Oh, II was so bad that ! heard the
people praying, Lord. have mercy upon
us miserable singers.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1921-02-09
Maine sardine Pack Reduced.

The 1870 Maine sardine pack is es-
timated at IS per cent of normal.
Since the average pack is about 2,200.-
much more than 100000 eases.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1921-02-09
Foolish Question No. a.427.

No, Roger, we should not call it
case of heredity when hard-headed
business man has a bonehead SON.
Boston Transcript.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1921-02-09
Consistency. Thou Art!

4 man laughs al woman's vanity.
then strnightens his tie. brushes back
his pompadour. carefully adjusts his
hat and walks into sOft-drink par
lor.-EXchange.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1921-02-09

~ ~ eAAA ~
work. / had severe
pains in my left side
every month and had
fever and sick dizzy
spells and such pains
during my periods,
which lasted two
weeks. ] heard Of
Lydia E. Pinkham' 8
We ge t a Bile Com
pound doing others
so much good and
thought | wo.Ild give
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1921-02-09

When the mercury is past o., you
have our permission to say sweat In
stead of respiration. - Arkansaw
Thomas Cat.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1921-02-09
A flying Furnace.

= FIJIWY IHaIc.
The average meteor when first seen
Is about 50 miles above the surface
of the earth, and disappears from view
at 80 miles. Thus II travels 80 miles
before the atmospheric friction burns
it up. This friction. 1t is reckoned,
raises II to a temperature of something
like 3.O00,0O0 degrees.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1921-02-09
Just aMneNl

Nip-Whats the difference between
4 dance and dawuces
TGck-About talir 6,Ne,zs.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1921-02-09
TnFnNR 70 POSITIVELY REMOVED BY Dr. Bsrry's
1 D freckls Ointment--Y druggist By
HSSNG@S Co.. 5s7s Michigan ASsnIs. Chicago

Ingratitade stings the most deeply
those whose vanity makes of thanks
the chief reward.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1921-02-09

Happiness that is gone after with the
jaws set turns out TO be something of
a job.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1921-02-09
SYMPTOMS
WOMEN DREAD
Mrs. Wilson's Letter Should
Be Read by All Women

Clearfield, Pa" After my last child
was born last September ! was unable
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1921-02-09
saw . Moth 5all.

"Have you ever seen a fly weepf"
$40. but have seen moth BAH"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1921-02-09

aNIIUS JUuI CASE IOI bPcNIdI IIIblIuC-
tons and interesting horse Book 2 r Free.
ABS0RBiME, JR., the antiseptic Iiniment for
mankind, reduces Strained, Torn Liga-
ments, Swollen Glands. Veins or Muscles;
Heals Cuts. Sores, Ulcers. Allays pain. Price
s.zs 6Otle dealers delivered Book EVIDENCE free
W. 3. YOUNG, Inc. $40 Temple ST., Springfield, Mass.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1921-02-09
Imnortant to Mothera

Examine carefully every bottle of
CASTORLA, that famous old remedy
for infants and children, and see that it
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1921-02-09

$25 IN MONTHLY PAYMENTS SECURES
LEASE on Texas Oil Lands which may mean
$4,000 in few months Write for Folder B6.
TeX"land, GIG Laughlin Bldg, Los Angeles.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1921-02-09
E7y; q 7;

Will reduce InfIamed. Strained,
Swollen Tendons, Ligaments.
or Muscles. Stops the lamenessand
pain from Splint, Side Bone or
Bone SPAWN. No blister, no hair
gone and horse can be used. 81. so a
bottle at druggists or delivered. De-
ecrsba x,0,,r c,s. Co. .1aos.I s,..-,,o
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1921-03-25

Flowing and light hauling by
by the man who knows-W. ii.
Everett. All work done at pre-
war prices. Orders taken even
ings. 1922 Lombard street, or
phone Col. 1920. "a
Candy Sale at Bonham a Cur
rier's store Saturday afternoon
by Queen Esther Society of the
Methodist Sunday school.
For Sale Gas range and Tx.
Ia ent.-3l6 Smith ave. phone
Col. 1922; call evenings.
For Sale Row boat in good
condition. very cheap at ll09 S.
Syracuse street.
For Sale six room modern
house; do not call on Sundays. -
3l7 f. Burlington street.
Cards of thanks notices are
charged for at the rate Of fifty
cents each. Persons desiring to
have such notices published
should make a note of this.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1921-03-25
St. Johns Fuel Co.
5l5 Columbia Boulevard
Slab and COTdw0Od
Office Wildrose Shingle Co,
Phone Col. 9lS
FOR SALE

Eight room house. cement base
ment. 2 large chicken houses, 20
large bearing fruit trees, 2 full
lots. each 50xl00. street graded
and cement walks. Price $1,000.
half cash. balance 3 years. or
$3.50 all cash. S. C. COOK, 402
N. Jersey street.
St. Johns review. (Saint Johns, Or.) 1904-current, 1921-03-25
GLOVES
LARGE ASSORTMENT
w. w. ROGERS
THE RAINCOAT MAN
iSNHDON 81 OHM

jSdIDOd ST OHM
Get your Tested Bulk SeeC
and Seed Potatoes at the St
Johns Hardware Co.
For Sale Shepard strain An.
coma setting eggs. ia S. Craw.
ford street; Col. S79. 10
Board and room for two men.
home privileges. modern con-
veniences. Mrs. 7. Hill. 6l5 f..
Tyler street. 20
For Sale-One lot 5OxlOO on
Jersey and Tyler street; a snap
If taken at once. Address E42.
this office. 20
Boys Shoes $3.50 up-ROG-
ERS.
$4,000. Seven room all modern
house on lot 100xl00. z fine fruit
trees. close to car. Will TRADE
for acreage. Rice & Tate. l07
N. Jersey.
A 2 lb. can of Gromore Fertil-
izer equals 8 lbs. of ordinary
commercial fertilizer. Forty
cents will buy same at the st.
Johns Hardware Co.
Carpenters 0veralls 81. .95. Rog-
ers sells silk shirts.
New 3 room cottage, lot look
100, basement. cement walks,
built.in kitchen, fine plumbing
fixtures; everything very latest.
For sale by owner, 929 Calhoun,
two blocks east Of East school.
GLOVES for Sunday. Gloves
for Monday. Gloves for any old
tme-R0GERS.
S2200-Five room all modern
house, street and sewer assess.
ments paid. fruit on lot. good
terms. Rice a. Tate. LOT N. Jer-
sey; Col. SS7.
Dry four foot cord wood $3.50.
per cord. Columbia 722.
PANAMA Hats that never saw
the canal for l.50- ROGERS.
Will trade my collapsible baby
buggy, just retired, for a Wick
er Sulkey, white or gray. with
top. Also new library of health
for sale cheap. inquire at l777
willamette boulevard, corner of
Mohawk.
For good GLOVES at the right
price see Nektie ROGERS.
For Sale-24 different colors
in Primroses and other borde.
plants, sc each; Perennial plants
DC TO l5c; extra large fine car
nation plants, l5c and 25c; from
April on. fine Dahlia bulbs. &c TO
Doc each. Call 2l5 Burr street,
corner Lombard. 81
Sl750-Five room house, full
basement. plumbing and gas, lot
75xl00. fruit, $500 cash, balance
monthly. Rice 4 Tate. l07 N.
Jersey; Col. 887.
For Sale-Will sell my equity
in my four room house. Call
920 N. Edison street.
For chilly toes and a dripping
nose wear ROGERS warm 35c
hose.
For Sale-Good COW, Jersey
and Holstein, comes in a month.
very rich milk. Call 643 North
Leonard street.
SH! SH! ROGERS sells a rat.
Ting good leather work shoe for
So. 45.
$l775-Five room house close
in, sew er. lights and gas, gar
age, street and sewer assess
ments paid; terms. Rice & Tate,
tOI N. Jersey; Col. 0o7.
For Sale-One four year old
Jersey and Hoistein COW. second
calf. $40 N. Edison street.
For Rent-Five rooms partly
furnished. very reasonable, at
GIL +. Charleston street.
Listen. Lester! ROGERS
needs you.
For Sale Bicycle. almost new ;
has coaster brake. steel rims;
will sell very reasonable. Also
electric fixtures. kodak, cooking
utensils. 40 +. Mohawk.
For Rent-Four rooms. Call
us w. John street.
$2750-Five room all modern
house. completely furnished with
all good furniture: terms. Rice
& Tate, l07 N. Jersey; Col. 887.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-11-18

and members OF his cabinet. "a well
az the men who are handling the
Affairs Of the republican national
committee are convinced that from
a political standpoint. Il would be
suicidal for the administration 20
fail 20 enforce prohibition as enec-
lively az possible. The political view
OF the s.tuation-the view which
high up politicians in both the ola
parties take-is that IL there could
be a test vote the people Of the coun-
try would declare by an overwhelm-
ing majority In favor OF the national
prohibition amendment and its rigiS
enforcement.
Well informed men do not believe
that any such test vote will ever be
recorded. They do look 20 see the
c-called prohibition issue raised IN
good many congressional districts
next year, particularly in the east,
and in some Of the larger cities or
the west. But they are confident
that the vets will not be able 10 add
much TO the strength which taey
now have IL the two branches
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-11-18
GET MARCELS TO
IMPROVE STUDIES

COLUMBUS. o, Nov. 1T h
pretty generally agreed that beauty
may be stimulated by scientific
treatment.
But. inquire a number OF Column
bis residents how can a marcel, or
shampoo cause girl 70 be credited
with a perfect percentage at her
mid-term or final exam2
The query Is prompted by the
following ad inserted in a university
paper:
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-11-18
SHANK OPPOSES
VET MEMORIAL

INDIANAPOLIS, Nov. lI.-Indi-
ans's war memorial plaza project
viii have no suppOrt-at least for
the esent-day-from Samuel
Lewis Shank. mayor-elect at Indi-
annapolis. tn a speech at a theater.
Shank declared he favors utilizing
funds for a memorial hospital for
disabled veterans and for the pay
ment Of a soldiers bonus. Further
More. instead OF having a memorial
plaza down town az proposed the
mayor-to-be would put It. when il
IS laid out. on the north side.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-11-18
THIS MAN OUGHT
TO REMAIN HOME

SHAWNEE Okla. NOVlI.-'MeXl-
co IS desperation.
Texas is starvation.
The whole world is shot 10 hell
under the Harding administration.
I'm moving back 20 Arkansas
So read the sign painted in bold
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-11-18

type on the side OF a covered wagon
which passed through shawnee re-
Gently
The farmer declared he has tried
life In all OF the states mentioned
and was sick OF EN- all"
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-11-18
COUNTER SENTIMENTS"

MACON, Mo-, Nov. 17.-COlorado
IS the best state. declared Mrs. Will
liam II. Anderson.
Missouri Is the best. asserted her
husband. without seeking the me-
dunn OF arbitration. Mrs. Anderson
packed up and went 10 Colorado 70
live"
"She can stay there" asserts An
derson, who has sued for divorce
on the grounds of desertion.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-11-18

WASHINGTON, Nov. 1.-the In
serstate Commerce commission to-
day announced that Il had fixed a
tentative valuation OF S31. 495.35s on
the property OF the chicago, In
dianapols and Louisville Railway
70
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-11-18

We are causing co-eds 20 pass
100 per cent exams. Our scientific
way OF treating face and scalp slim
ulates mental effort"
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1921-04-12
Hepburn Says
 Boy s Death
 Was Accident

Hartford, April 12-Dr. Thomas N. Hepburn of Laurel street, whose son was found dead in the New York home of an aunt, is convinced that he had done the boy an injustice in saying that suicide was the cause of death, and that in the first shock of the tragedy he had thought of only two ssibilities,-murder and sui eide. He is now convinced that the boy was the victim of an accident as the result of a foolish stunt.
 Speaking of the accident pr. Hep burn said: ''To theorize that nor nal healthy boy committed suicide af- ter a good nights sleep is unbe1iev- able. He left no note or sign of mental distress although he had a pencil with him the evening before and had taken down the address of a girl he wanted to write to.
 'I am now convinced that the boy is the victim of an accident as a re- suit of a foolish stunt I had entire ly forgotten that he considered him. self an expert in hanging by the neck in such a way that he looked as if he were dying and so amusing his lit tie brothers and sisters. He fixed the knot in the rope he used for eXhib- ition purposes so that he could pull the knot before he was hurt. He casually mentioned this clever trick to me about year ago and remem- Der warning him of it's dangers. Since then I had not thought of it. Friday night he saw the moving picture, "A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court in which I am told there is hanging scene. This must have re- called his old stunt and perhaps sug- gested some new realistic detail by which he could amuze his admirine spectators
 As he lay in bed Sunday morning he could see a beam across the cell ing which would he an ideal place to hang from. and try the new idea aS a special treat for his little broth ars when he came home. He got up and D" ked for his usual rope, b-lt CClfld find only a 4-inch wide strip of cotton cloth which had been used to tie up some mattresses. This he tied around his neck as he stood on the floor and then drew his feet up. He probably and then tried to pull the knot but the material was such that it would no slip like a rope And so the poor boy was actually strang gled to death purely as the result of an innocent boyish idea This eXpla-n why his feet were resting freely on the floor And the bow slip-knot was united on ly with great difficulty, as the bow failed to slip.
 This accident theory would eX- plain all the findings. His sister. having left me when I called it suicide-came to me this morning before she knew I had changed my mind about the events that led up to Toms death and recalled the boys hanging shows of previous years, and volunteered the same explanation at which I had arrived.
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1921-04-12
NATIONAL LEAGUE
 OF WOMEN VOTERS
 HOLD CONVENTION

Cleveland, April 12-The second annual convention of the National Leasue of Women Voters formally opened here today with more than 1,0o0 delegates and alternates from all parts of the country attending all parts of the country in attendance. The convention will close Saturday afternoon.
 The conventions working schedule was drafted in seven pre-convention conferences yesterday, three of the conferences completing their recom- mendatons. Four which were un- able to complete their reports because or deadlocks are expected to be ready by noon today
 commended the immediate passage of 8 congressional bill giving federal aid for maternity and infant care and en- dorsed the principle of physical ed- ucation in schools.
 The conference on food s11pDIy and demand recommended legislation for the acquisition of stoclzyards by rail- roads and federal regulation of the meat packing industry.
 The conference on uniform law cor cernlng women recommended uni form state legislation on marriage and divorce; abolition of common law marriages; health certificates as one requisite for the the marriage license; equal property rights of wo- men with their husbands; making wife and child abandonment a crim- 4ral ofense- exemption from jury ser vice of mothers of young children and mothers pensions.
 All these recommendations ana those to be made by the four other conferences to report today will be acted upon during the week
 Mrs. Maud Wood Park, national chairman. presided at this mornings session. Mayor w. s. Fitzgerald ex- tended Cleveland's welcome and Miss Amy Grace Maher of Toledo, greet 1n=s from the Ohio League of Women Voters, and Miss Belle Sherwin of Cleveland, greet:neS from the Cleve- land League of Women Voters, fol- lowing which Mrs. Park delivered her annual address and the annual re- ports of the league officers were made.
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1921-04-12
LOCATE CHILDREN.

A few hours after two young girls had been reported missing yesterday morning, police of the Department of Missing Persons located both of the children on the motor boat Mischief" :" in the local harbor, in company with Martin Skestak and Alexander John son, both of Newport, N. J. The men were arrested on charges of breach of the peace investigation, and in the City court today their cases were con- tinued until Saturday under 2,000 bonds The story told by the girls is being investigated, and serious charges may be entered against the two young men.
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1921-04-12
MUNICIPAL CELEBRATION.

Plans for the municipal celebration of Memorial Day will be made Thurs fay night at special meeting Of he Memorial Day committee of the Common Council. A small appro- priation is at the disposal of the com ~,littee this year than previously, as t was cut from $3,000 to S2,5G0 by the Board of Apportionment. The coming celebration will be on 1arg- r scale than other years despite the mailer appropriation, due to the CO.,
 peratfon of the United Patriotic so- -ieties and the various war veterans .ToaDiZatiOnS,