davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1921-05-29
hUCTIDhS-LEG-iLS
Legal Notices


NoTlCE.
sealed bids VIII u. received In the orlc.
%, IN. Clerk 81 the Hoard OF supervisor.
o; YORK County at Yorktown. virginia
un;ii noon on the 18Th day Of June 1871
10: the construction OF "a cOncr.tc Nal! y
inches thtck across both ends and alons
one side Of the CourthDusv lot inches
high from level ot the ground and I.
inches deem In the ground on the from;
aud rear OF said lot on tho side o. s.i.
lot, The base @: the wall Is 20 b. on !.
!cNc! WITH the base %; IA" present concrete
street man!ms tho wall about ;cc, from
bare 20 top on 'h" side hlso concrete
sidewalk feet wiir and I niche. ,htcH
across front end az said lot, and concr.,..
gutter inches thick aud about ! feet
MA. alDuE side OF said lot Al or which
Is TO DO bu!lt according TO the plans and
ss"Cir tlpns nnw ON ~" In tho CLERK $
ONCE ~ YORKTOWN. Virginia.
bond With nur.ty IN tho PENALTY OF
- per coat o! the b!i conditioned 10 .'r,.
into ana faithfully perform contract 4,
Pc is accepted. Is required wi,h zach
lid.
The Board reserves tho rich, to rcjcc.
by order Of III Hoard o: Supervisor,
FLOYD HOLLOWAY
board OF Supervisors q, York County.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1921-05-29
GARRETT & CO.,
1112 +. MAIN ST.
Phone Ran. 1873.

STREAM WATCHED FRUIT FARM
o, ACRES. WITH HORSE. COW
tools. Implement crpps included 10 start
you tight productive section. closrt VII
lage. adyantAg"s, tobacco. hogs. poultry.
general tarinIbg yield hig returns. dark
1000 cords wood selling top prices. near
by hne orchard apples. peaches pears
plums. good cottage house doligh,fui
shade. magnlac"ni view, spriug water.
stock barn. TOBACCO barn. piggrfy; to set
tle affairs. Sl.3Oh. part cahh, easy terms.
q A big value. Come a. onte Ollcr farms
Described my bargain catalog FREE
Joseph BurEart. shun. Va
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1921-05-29
GINTER PARK

oAA> LIN l ~ Nh
Seminary Ave, 10
room, corner brick, 3
baths, full size base
ment, oak floors, beau
tiful shrubbery and
decorated nicely; ga
rage for 2 cars; s26,-
Moss Side Ave, eight
rooms, one bath, oak
floors, tile bath, garage
for 2 cars. Can ex-
change this property
for Groom modern
house in West End.
and the price only
$11, 250.
Noble Ave, s rooms,
modern. $4,000.
Seminary Ave, eight
rooms, one bath, mod
ern. $4,000.
Chamberlain Ave, s
rooms, so foot lot,
modern. $40, 900.
J. A. CONNOLLY
& co.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1921-05-29

NORTH RICHMOND
Griffin Ave, 6 rooms,
modern. $500.
Edgewood Ave, eight
rooms, oak floors, mod
ern. $3.50.
Moss Side Ave, eight
rooms, brick, modern.
1850.
Edgewood Ave-, eight
rooms, oak floors, mod
ern. S7,750.
Hawthorn ave. Roland
Park, 8 rooms, mod
ern. 900.
Lamb Ave-, 8 rooms,
corner, 80 #. lot, mod
ern, except heat. $751;
$50.
Hawthorn Ave-, eight
rooms, oak floors, tile
bath, sleeping porch,
laundry trays. $12,-
$50.
Noble Ave, s rooms,
modern, beauti fu |
shrubbery and garage.
$10,500
j. A. CONNOLLY
& co.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1921-05-29

FOR SALE. Il beautiful lu-room brick
uwc!liDs, located ll0i Fifth Avenue can
h. bought cheap. Call quck. Madison
Foit SAi.E several big bargains In city
10 $1,000 on easy terms. Small cash
payments Ear'y possession. RIchmond
Va. ii. VI. Mcclure. real estate, KvI,is
ward tiJi
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1921-05-29

HIGHLAND PARK
Flve-room cottage, cleo
trio lights, gas, bath, etc.
Owner leaving State. For
quick sale $2,250.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1921-05-29
SOUTH THIRD ST.

SOUTH THIRD ST.
No. POP, II rooms, two
baths, rented as two apart
ments for $500 per annum.
House in fine condition. To
settle an estate will sell to
quick purchaser for Sc, 500.
WEST GRACE STREET.
Converted residence, 3
apartments, near Harrison
Street. This house has
about 20 very large rooms !;
is thoroughly up-to-date in
every particular. Rented
for $4,000 per annum. For
quick sale, S20,750 will
buy it.
we have only advertised
IN the above list properties
which we can recommend
to our best clients. Each
property is well worth the
pllce quoted, and we con-
slider exceptionally cheap.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1921-05-29
Houses for Sale

BARTON liElGHTS-For sale. nice homo
in Barton Heights: rooms. tcus,siur
hall and all modern fmprUVcn, ios-
session at once. Phonc Randolph ais.
CHURCH, lnI.L- D"sirahl" N-room and
bath residence; hest location, Price,
S;.SOn. Terms Spc thaS T.. Ru.hr-
iuund. Room -, Allison Building. sos I-c
EHS, Main Street.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1921-05-29

/ HAVE an s-room house on large lot
IN G'n,"r Park seeding about 500 re-
pairs, which VIII increase selling Ircs
OF this property three times the amount
spent ned funds and Will sacrifice at
$3.50 to a quick buyer: 500 cash bal
snce long time mortgage Address Box
Station a. Richmond. Va
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1921-05-29
GARRETT & co,

tAHkETT 4 co.
Si,75o.un
Hart"n Heights roows. frame.
n"-inot lot. modern IcNCspt heat
Terms :" suit.
S.5OO.0O.
East Rroa,!-S-ruoiu frame. -Soo
block. Easy terms.
5000 90
south Richmond 3.room frame.
E's' Thirty second street;
Sy.ao0.Oo
West End Four Groom b,irL
mats. practically now and modern
GARRETT * co.
HI: EAST MAIN ST
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1921-05-29
Farms and Land for Sale s3
FOR SALE

Desirable parcels of
West End acreage in
direct line of big de-
velopments, This is an
opportune time to buy
this class of property,
as it is sure to make
quick advances. Come
in and talk over some
of these with us.
c. l.. 4 H. l..
DENOON, INC.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1921-05-29
GARRETT \ co.
HE EAST MAIN STREET.

POULTRY FARM. - acres. good residence
barn and poultry houses. Price $4,000.
Goo. r. CrAMtnrn & Co
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1921-05-29
COTTAGE

COTTAGE
$500 cash and balance
long time, will buy nice
Groom cottage and 6
acres of land, on car
line, north of the city.
A bargain.
c. l.. & H. l..
DENOON,
S07 MAIN ST.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1921-05-29
High Grade Positions Are Offered Thru I'd Want Ads
RE.iL ESTATE FOR SALE
Houses for Sale

HOUSES for sale ali orcr the city cheAp
and easy terms. Como t. see mo Al
once. ID. I. Zirliic. el2 T.. Main Street.
NORTH RlCHMOND--Eight rooms byu
hot-watcr heat. large front and back
porch: lawn. shrubbcry. nowcrs and =
din. half block from car line iilo
NORTH RiCiIM3SS-Stup paying rent
Do something for your family and yo,r-
self cash payment. balance like rent
lfuE 'his ana own one ui the hes I,
homes in this beautiful suburb T. 81,
The Dispatch.
N-ROOM siucco bungalow: very largo
lot: one block 20 doubc-track ear serv.
Ice; all city convcnienccs: $3.50. Pos
session. Rvland Realty Co.
WE SELL. HOMES
rELi. :. ROGERS NbCO.
MAD. LII. MUTUAL. RLDti.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1921-05-29
HOME BARGAINS.

E.rh. roOIu home splendid condi-
lion: all city convcnitnCcS, lhfS'.
h,au,!nl lot one OF the hisntst
ma hcn,thic.t locations. on &C,
count az owner leaving VIII SOL!
,hts home FOR t,a0c, $500 SAsh
and balance easy terms ta''E
pusstss!cu.--
\ r.,l p,rr,!n cor $500.
E-y,n Fooiu stuCCo dwCihnS an
div ,onNrui"nCcs hardwood h""rs'-
lfr roof splendid condition ga
r,rr. and extremely large iot 10
,'.d on one Of the best avenues
cas-, terms. carly possession
Reau,.tuI cish;-room house IN
highland Paris; splendid coma.
ION. large lot, garage; conEenlcht
I, C:,rs and school Price. st,""n.
81 geo cash and the balance -"
urr month. This is one OF me
G.., buys in the city. Act iuich
SEE MIR. MEADOR,
WITH
=. T.. 4 J. :. HARNlE.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1921-05-29
REAL ESTATE FOR SALE
Houses for Sale
HIGHLAND PARK

Very attractive 8-room
stucco residence, close to
park: Hot water heat, cleo
trio lights, gas, etc. This
house is just one year old.
Price, $500. Only $1,000
cash necessary, balance
easy.
BARTON HEIGHTS
lO-room residence, all
modern conveniences, large
lot. Only $4,000 necessary
to handle.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1921-05-29
REAL ESTATE FOR SALE
Houses for Sale
FOR SALE.

FOR SALE.
very attractive .-rouin and -bnth
stusr" dwelling. near Gintcr PARK.
lu"t"' Earhsr, in excellent condition
anu u bargain ut $500. See this at
several Groom and bath br,ch
dwellings ia the West End now un
ntr construction and vii! bc read
lot occupancy soon. Good location.
nl"drrn IN every way. Scc us al
once f"r further information Price,
S'.'''. easy terms
HIGHLAND Park HOMES.
Concrete b.ock dwelling. consisting
~ . rooms and bath. on one uf
best avenues. Large lot doub!.
garage nincc IN best OF condition.
Rice $3.50
Homo az 10 large rooms and bath.
nicely located on lar.e corner lot
convenient q" everything Sui,ab,c
fog ~" families. Price. $3.50.
-. {. TAYLOR & co.
p North Ninth st
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1921-05-29

bELlGiTFUI. stuart Avenue residence.
best location c!shi rooms ana stririlN
u"d'ru. easy terms. See Charles +
iIu' nrnnnd SOLE Agent, Room So AM
son iilds., SOB D.. East Main street
FIVE ROOM furnished apartment Tor sale.
Oh Addison Street including piano Ind
gu furniture. Ia excellent condition,
lease expires september list bur can To-,
rcn-w"d \ bargain. Cri Randolph l.G
FLOYD AVENUE Desirable corner. ,y.u
located inoi"ru brick residence; ar.
lNtCncurttc ana private bath Zach ipIorr
f'' nuw ryntn.; Tor 100 per month. H. =.
session "' lover hht a. one" Z .ssir. I.
y bargain a only 5. 600. ,iouJ terms.
l"silN'y no Information over t-l,phou..
Soc thas +. Eu,hrmuud Room 10 A,li.
ron hEAHiht, ~ u r.hS' an street.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1921-05-29

BEVERLY STREET
Very nice residence of
SIX large rooms and hall
room; electric lights, gas,
bath, etc. Large lot. Price,
$4,000.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1921-05-29

18th STREET
Residence of 7 rooms !;
electric lights, latrobe heat !;
extra lot. Price, $1,000.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1921-05-29
DISPLAY CLASSIFIED

TRUSTEES SALE
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1921-05-29
LOTS.

l.. * H.ARVlE.
WITH
l.. +. 6 J ). HARNlE.
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1921-05-29

HAVE you rented a house YETI A Wanted
TO Rent Ad In The Times Dispatch will
probably ind ono for you,
Richmond times-dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1914-current, 1921-05-29
OWNER,
p. O. Box 123.

WILL EXCHANGE iuCom, city property
ioT SINAI! farm or noms ir country
Alfred AlcIl ~ Co. sl3 East Franklin
Street Room az.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-01-09
THE FABLE OF UNCLE SILAS

are to blame for all the Tribula-
ton. You escape to the Cellar and
throw Hard Coal at yourself for a
while and then suddenly you re-
member that it was who advised
you to Marry and Settle Down.
Thereupon you hurry to a Hard
ware Store and you buy one of
these Carpenter Pencils, that
makes a wide Mark, and you go
out to the Grave-Y Yard and write
Insulting Remarks all over my
white Head-Stone. And it would
be just as bad if l advised you not
to take the Fatal Step.
"The Time surely would come
when you would be laid up in some
Oatmeal Dispensary, suffering
from Indigestion and Hotel Mel
ancholy, and then you would
moan something about of all Sad
Words of Tongue or Pen and say,
'Ah, l might have been cozily
domiciled in a CHEEKY Cot, reading
Ghost Stories to nv own little
Riddles this very Night, if it had
not been for that hoary old Fraud
who steered me away from getting
Married.
$50 you see / have an Elegant
Chance to satisfy you, no matter
what | tell you to do. The trou-
BILE is that we have our off days,
whether we are Married or Single.
A man cannot get up every Morn
ing and strike Concert Pitch the
first Pull across the Strings, no
matter how DESTROYS he may be
to keep in Harmony. Again, after
Man has Tied Up for a while,
he begins to recall the Bright
Spots in his Career as a Bachelor
and he is prone to imagine that
all the Unmarried Boys are hav-
ing one long Crimson Notification.
On the other. hand, the male Hold
Over occasionally ~ote a Flash of
Domestic Bliss under the most
favorable Conditions, and goes
back to his substitute for a Home
feeling that a Bachelor Existence
is a Dogs Life at the best"
"Thcn a Man cannot be Happy,
no matter what Programme he
undertakes?" asked the Young
Man, in a discouraged Tone.
Legal Ceremonies and a change
of Boarding Houses do not greatly
modify our Ratio" replied Uncle
Silas. "You see, every Man has
about so many Kicks coming, and
he has to use them up, whether he
is Married or Single. When we
are slightly OFF our Feed, we are
likely to imagine that what we
haven't rot and can't get is the
One Desirable Thing. Thus we
have the diverting Picture Of the
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-01-09

Uncle Silas was a County-Seat
Oracle. When he backed up to the
Soft Coal Stove in the Grocery
Store and parted his Coat-tails ard
began to breathe Wisdom, every
one else Sang Low. He would give
the National Administration a
sharp Calling Down every few
Days and if the City Council or
dered any improvements that did
not suit him, he spoke of the Body
as PASSED. of Lunkheads. He knew
how to cure Stringhalt and Chill
blains or make a Flax-Seed Poul-
tice or persuade Hen to Lay or
get the Wiggle-Tails out of Rain
Water. Uncle Silas could guess
how many Hands high Horse was
and he knew what kind of Bait to
use for Goggle-Eyes and that Corn
ought to be Planted in the Dark Of
the Moon. AS a Weather Prophet
he was Old Lightning. Uncle Sile
was just as Spry as a Sparrow and
Sharp as any Steel Trap.
A good many Young Folks came
and suuatted at the feet of Uncle
Silas so as to get Truth in the
Original Package. The Younger
and more sappy the Listeners, the
more elaborate was his Discourse.
Among those who came to the
Free Dispensary to get the benefit
Of Uncle Silas' vast Experience
was a certain Belle who had
been Girling for five or six Years
and was about ready to do some
thing Desperate.
81 want your Advice" he said.
81 think | can support a Wife in
the Style to which she has been
accustomed providing she has not
been accustomed to very much, but
before Shutting my Eyes and do
ing the Plunge, thought | would
get your Opinion as to the Move.
Do you consider it Wise Play?"
Uncle Silas looked at the Young
Man out OF the Corner of his Eye
and Chortled knowingly.
"The Smooth Citizen never gives
Advice on Family Matters" said
the Sage. 81 am ready TO Gas
freely on most Tories bui wh'n
it comes to q Question of O.. =.
ting MFtrip ony, th.t +,
begin to BGcl; and FIJI ~
my old friend Ben Fralei y.
told the INQUIRER that ever MN
sooner or later comes to the Part
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-01-09
THE CHAMPION yAMp.

Theda is a vampire,
And oh! How she can stare,
with bright eyes like a campfire
That tell you to beware.
She wears those roll-top stockings,
with fur around the knee.
To many she Is shocking,
But she's just the girl for me.
Her lips are sweet as honey.
And her shape! 1t is divine.
She always did like money.
SO she vamped me out of mine.
II. Il. G.
Bctty-Jack. have you ever kiss ID
any other girl before me7
JacK-No. dear, your back was al
ways turned. KILLUMwIK-
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-01-09

ing of the Ways. He must choose
between the broad and easy Path
that leads to Sinrle Misery and
the straight and narrow Road that
leads to Married Unhappiness.
AS Ben expressed it, no matter
which Way the poor Mush heads in
he will be Sore, now and then, that
he did not take a Chance on the
other Route. Every Married Man
at some time or other has sneak
ing Desire to be Free, and every
crse. hardened Bachelor OCCASION
rly runs into 2 loncromc Streak
I'm h" fCcls that he would will
indy rive 10 Years Of his mis-
spent Life to have just one chubby
Darling call him Dada.
"Matrimony is such long Con-
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-01-09

tract and has so many Ups and
Downs that sometimes it seems a
sure Winner to those on the Out
side and again it is enveloped in a
blue Fog for those who have to
Put Up with it. II | get behind
you and give you a hard Shove
toward the Married State, you will
be kept Guessing for Years as to
whether | meant it as a Good Turn
or was trying to crab your Career.
Let us suppose that some Day Is
or 20 Years from now YOU come
Home to find that the Furnace has
fl;ckcred, the Cook has done the
Vanishing Lady Act, two Of the
Children have the Scarlet Rash
and the Better Half is Weeping
Softly and seems to think that you
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-01-09

| believe the male vamps of the
city would disappear if we had more
of those honest. broad-shoudered
Westerners. They're honest-to-
goodness men.
OLD-FASHIONED GIRL.
Conductor-"Step lively, please.
10th sides of the rail"
Colorcd Woman---Man, how YOU
-peck me to straddle dat rail"
SHORTY.
Here lies the man Richard
And Mary, his wife.
Whose surname was Prtchard.
They lived without strife.
And the reason was plain
They abounded in riches,
Without care or pain,
And she wore the breeches
.TCTE.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-01-09

yourself to find out what you want
to do. But no matter what your
Course may be, you want to re-
member that there are Cloudy
Days in all Latitudes."
Perhaps had better 90 it
Blind" suggested the Bachelor.
Most People do" said Uncle
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-01-09
SOLDIERS TELL THIS ONE.

Army officer examining his de
vision. inquired of Swapping fell
low: Have you read the Constitution.
the Declaration of independence or
Washington's farewell address,"
Never a bit. sor."
We'll, what have you read?'
II have red hair, sor." l.. IL.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-01-09

Silas. "A Leap in the Dark may
land you in a Patch of Canadian
Thistlcs or a Bed of Roses, but
no matter where you Bring Up,
you will get used to it,"
MORAL: Always ddUiSe
Friend to do that achich you are
sure he is not going to do. Then,
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-01-09

Benedicts sitting around in Envy
of the Bachelors, while those who
are playing Lone Hands feel that
they would be much better off with
Partners. couldn't rig up a Pol
icy for you that would not cause
me to be disliked. | think you had
better go out and Shake Dice with
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-01-09
SQUASH TOWN NEWS.

Uncle 81 Lowe is learning /"
blow a bugle. He's expecting MS
son Josh home from the army
soon and thinks maybe he can get
Josh out of bed in the morning
if he can learn to blow the
reveille. =. *.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-01-09
A JAy-wALKER,s CRy.

Don't be a jay-drver; don't cut the curb:
In so rounding corner our hearts you
disturb.
There's many guy now short Of q corn
Because jay-driver forgot his horn.
Don't be jay-driver, for the love Of MIKE
BLOW your horn when you reach turn In
the pike,
Don't be , jay'drivcr, In spite Of all talh.
ing.
More trouble IL caused by driving tina.
walking
BELLE n.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-01-09
KNOCKING. JAZZ.

FRANKIE Il. and many other con-
tribs show no sympathy for the
drastic criticism of jazz music by f.
G. PARKER. While many of them
enjoy classic music at times they
frankly state that they prefer jazz
most of the time.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-01-09

A fussy old gentleman had asked
the army sergeant about million
questions, winding up with this: is
the strap under your chin to keep
your hat on?"
Nav, it's to rest my jaw on after
answering so many fool questions"
r. II.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-01-09

Millions of human beings are
unable to tell where or when
their Rrandfathers were born,
but the family tree of Man a.
war has been traced back $50
years. +.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-01-09
HOT AND COLD BATHS.

When you Try 10 meet great per
sonaEe to ask a favor:
cold" disdain of the doorman
Cooling heels" in ante-room;
Cold wave from inner room:
cold feet when at last admitted
Hot under the collar" when leav-
ing. FRED VETTER.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-01-09
By George AIDE

If his Venture fails, you wil re.
ceive credit for barring harmed
him. If it succeeds, he wiU be hap
py in the Opportunity to tel you
that y0u icere Dead Wrong.
Copyright 1921, by the Bell Syndicate Inc
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-01-09
PLISH Up 'FRONT.'

Isn't there some way we poor
strap-hangcrs can impress upon
some car riders the fairness If
moving up front so that there will
be room in the rear of the cars?
DOT,
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-01-09

Many men give up too easily"
eXclaims the moralist. I'd like to
become acquainted with some Of
them. All the fellows know
are tight wads. l.. VETTER.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-01-09
THE REASON.

HIBITION-thcres the reason, why
our boilers choked with rust.
Shades OF ancient Carrie Nation. you have
made US dry dust!
oh. we long for irrigation-just to sip "the
cup that cheers"
And wen get IL down in Cuba--yea, In spite
OF Bryan's tears.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-01-09

Listen, little cakes,
Now please don't cry;
You're supposed to be a man,
Rut-Oh, my!
+. +. NJ.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-01-09
AVOID ARGUMENT.

Never ask woman what size she
wears said the successful shoe
dealer to the new clerk.
why"
Because II Is easier to measure
her than to argue with her" he
answered HARDWARE JAKE
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-01-09

Beneath the moon he told his love,
The color left her checks,
But on the shoulder OF his coat
IL showed there plain for weeks.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-01-09

They once called them "rum-
hounds" because they could follow
the trail of bottle for miles and be
in at the killing. In these days the
trail is often a false one,
FRED VETTER.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-01-09

Shen you wake up In the mornin'
And your windows way up high:
when old Boras does the shimmy.
While in the bed you lie;
And you hear your own Big Benny
Rsngin' quarter after seven;
With your office work n calm,
when you'd like to sleep TIN eleven.
Amt IL awful?
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-01-09
A HORSE PROBLEM.

G.. A. A. submits this problem. Civ
ing his answer at the Same time. and
rrmarking that he expects to have
his answer disputed:
4 man sold a horse for 800.
later he purchased the same horse
back for $50. and then sold the
same horse for 800. What was
his profit on these transactions.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-01-09
An AMUSING MINISTER.

| was present at lecture by a
Scotch minister, who had the High
landers' habit of interfering the per
sonal pronoun He" when not re-
quired. His subject was the devil
"gocth about like roaring lion
seeking whom he may devour." And
this is how he started off:
Now, dividing the subject into
four heads, we will. firstly, attempt
to ascertain who the devil HE was
secondly. Where the devil He was
going;' thirdly who the devil HE
was seeking and lastly my friends,
what the devil HE was roaring
about" BOB HARRIS.
Waiter, expecting tip-"Well sir.
how did you find the steak?'
Patron. ssrcastically--"Oh, I just
lifted up that fried potato and there
IL was" RUSTY.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-01-09

TO me II and means Happy and
Sensible. BLUE EYES.