davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1921-05-13
Continued from yesterday

SuppoSIn' I'd klneu EN-, he MUIR
INJURED, aghast. Just supposin'. Why.
the baIly show would have been over,
| and I'd have had to advertise again"
Only Peterson was in the dining
room when Hugh came down. He had
examined the stairs, On his way, but
he could see nothing unusual which
would account for the thing which had
whizzed past his head and changed sui
lenly against the wall. Nor was there
any sign of the cobra by the curtained
door: merely Peterson standing in a
sunny room behind a bubbling coffee
| ma chine.
He turned politely toward his host.
and paused in dismay. "Good heavens,
MI. peterson, is your neck hurting
you?''
1T u.s." answered Peterson grimly.
"A nuisance, having a stiff neck.
Makes every one laugh, and one gets
no sympathy. Bad thing-laughter.
At times, anyway"
"Curiosity is great deal worse.
Captain Drummond. 1t was touch and
go whether 1 killed you last night"
IAAiAAA A11S1II Say Tie Saline, re-
turned Drummond.
Yes and no." said Peterson. sFrom
the moment you left the bottom of the
stairs, 1 had your life in the palm Of
my hand. Had 1 chosen to take it.
my young friend, I should not have
had this stiff neck"
Hugh returned to his breakfast IN
concernedly
"Granted, laddie, granted. But had
not been of such kindly and for
bearing nature, you wouldn't have
had 1t, either" He looked at Peter
son critically. I'm inclined to think
it's a great pity I didn't break your
neck while I was about it." Hugh
sighed and drank some coffee Il see
that l shall have to do it some day,
and probably Lakingtons as we'll.
BY the way, how is our Henry? I
trust his jaw is not unduly incon-
veniencing him."
Peterson, with his coffee cup in his
hand, was staring down the drive.
Your car is little early, CAPTAIN
Drummond," he said at length. Glow
ever, perhaps it can wait two or three
minutes while we get matters perfect
~ clear. I should dislike you not
knowing where you stand" He turned
round and faced the soldier sYou
have deliberately, against my advice
elected to fight me and the interests
l represent. So be it. From now on
the gloves are off. You embarked on
this course from a spirit Of adventure
at the instigation Of the girl next
uo"e' Spe' poor little fool, is con-
ce"ned over that drunken waster-her
father. She asked you to help her
yoH agreed, and, amazing though II
I'ay seem, up to now you have scored
d certain measure of success. I adj
NIT 1t, and l admire you for it. I'll
apologize now for having played the
1901 with you last night; you're the
type OF man whom one should kill ONT
rgnt-or leave alone"
he set down his coffee CUP and care
July shipped the end off cigar.
LOU are also the type of man who
VIII continue on the path he has starr
Gu You are completely in the dark.
you nave no idea whatever what Won
are up against" He smiled grimly.
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1921-05-13
BITS OF BYPLAY
By Luke McLuke
Copyrighted, 1921, by
The Cincinnati Enquirer.
Luke McLuke Says

Next to hearing you sing his own
praises a man would rather hear you
roast his enemies than anything else.
The reason SO many ioy' riders end
disastrously is because a fellow and
chaperone when they start, out.
We have been a durn fool in many
ways. But no oily-tongued bird ever
got anything out of us by calling US
"brother.'
Every hard-working man hopes that
some day he I'll be able to take few
days off and invent something that
will make him rich.
The two things that people never
forget are debts that are owed to them
and women who 60 wrong.
Some Of the dear men are using
rouge on their cheeks. And when YOU
see one Of them you get the impress
sion that he is also wearing long
stockings and gauze undervest.
A wife gets just as mad if you stay
around the house all the time as she
does if you stay out Of the house all
the time.
Every now and then a wooden head !
ed girl marries an ivory headed man.
And then they wonder why their chill !
dren haven It sense enough to come in
out Of the rain
The reason some city jobs take so !
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1921-05-13

<LUMBIN0 AND HEATING
CRESCENT PLUMBING IN
Phone 1877
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1921-05-13
SYNOPSIS.

Copyright by Geo. II. Doran Co.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1921-09-29
Didn't Hold Grudge Long.

A man who had not been long in his
employ entered the Office Of a factory
owner, according to the Cleveland Plain
Dealer, and asked for a day off.
~ guess we can manage it, Pete
the boss said, though we are very
short-handed these days. What do you
want to get of for?"
"Ay want to get married." replied the
blushing Scandinavian.
Married? Why look here-it was
only couple Of months ago that you
wanted to get OF because your wife was
dead
"Yass. Ay CESS So"
And you want to get married again
with your wife only few weeks dead pr
"Yas. Ay amt ban hold no grudee
long"
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1921-09-29
A Mix-Up.

A Southern Representative in Con-
gress received from a constituent, a
worthy man who lived near the levees
OF the Mississippi, letter stating that
he was coming to Washington in a
short time, and would be glad to have
tie Congressman arrange it so that
he might 60 to the Presidents melee
on New-year's."
"When he arrived" says the Con-
gresham, 81 ventured to ask why he
had called the Presidents reception
a melee.
"Well, you see,' he said, levee is
such common, onery sort Of name
down our way that couldn't bring my
self to use it in connection with such
an event as the Presidents reception.
Melee was about the nearest French
word that could think Of"
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1921-09-29
The Reward.

A woman poet shook the door Of
heaven. "Here | am" she said. "Ad-
nit me-"
ST. Peter greeted the new soul with
a question. "How many children have
you mothered ?" he asked, unrolling the
Entrace Record
"None," she said. "What a fool
ish question! Children would have
taken my time from art But | wrote
six books OF poems-lovely poems, too !''
GLOW many husbands have you low
d?" asked the Saint, without comment
on her speech.
"Not one!" replied the applicant.
"Men are such bore. Love is a waste
OF time. Only art is real; only thought
is worth while. You should read my
poetry"
MADAM" said the heavenly gateman
with angelic politeness, "you and your
poetry may go to h." And he locked
her out again.-Life
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1921-09-29
A Sad Mistake.

The lady bather had got into hole
and she couldn't swim. Nor could the
young man on the end OF the pier; but
when she came up for the first time
and he caught sight Of her face, he
could shrek, and he did. He shrieked ::
"Helpw
A burly fisherman sauntered to his
side.
"Wot's up?" he asked.
"Therew hoarsely cried the young
man. "My wife! Drowning! can't
swim! A hundred dollars for you IL
you can save her"
In moment the burly fisherman was
in the sea. In another he was out OF
1t, with the rescued lady bather. Thank
ing his lucky stars, he approached the
young man again.
"well, what about the hundred
bones ?"
But IL the young mans face had been
ashen gray before, now il was dead
white, as he gazed upon the features
Of the recovered dame.
Yves, | know!" he gasped. "Bu,
whenI made the offer I thought it was
my wife who was drowning; and now
now it turns out to be my wife's
motherW
The hurly fisherman pulled a long
face. lust my luckw he muttered,
thrusttng his hand into his trousers
pocket. GLOW much do owe you P"
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1921-09-29
SEE HERE
10 You Want Your Kidneys Experi-
mented On?

Kidney troubles are getting mora
common every day. Government health
bureau hgures say deaths from this
eause are " per cent more than "a
years ago.
anybody who suffers constant back
acne, who feels blue, nervous and irri-
taoie; who has dizzy spells, headache
ana urinary disorders, should suspect
kinney weakness. Overworked kid
neys must have a rest. Take thing.
easier; live more carefully. Take
good kidney remedy to build the kid
neys UP again.
But be sure to get Doan's Kidney
pils-the oldest, the most widely used,
me best recommended Of all kidney
pits, now in use all over the civilized
world. Don't experiment with your
kioneys; Thousands have already
tested Doan's. You have their expert
ence to go by. Plenty of cases right
mere IN Shepherdstown. Ask your
neighbor. Here's one:
MRS. M. E. Jacobs, New ST., Shep-
nerdstown, says: "Several years ago
my kidneys were inactive and had q
oull aching and soreness across the
small OF my back and kidneys. Ny
Kidneys didn't act right and knew
tney caused the trouble. read Of
Doan,s Kidney Pills helping others
and | used them as directed. They
soon corrected the trouble and strength
ened my back and kidneys"
frice 6Oc, at all dealers. Don't sim
Ply ask for a kidney remeiy--get
loans Kidney Pills the same that
MRS. Jacobs had. Foster Milburn CO.,
Mfrs., Buffalo, N. Y.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1921-09-29

Capt. Robert Faulkner, a commander
in the British Navy in 1894, was a man
Of unusual courage. During an en-
counter close under the walls OF Fort
Royal he noticed that he pilot would
seem to hesitate when he gave his or
ders. In Famous Fighters Of the
Fleet" Mr.. Frasier gives the story:
Captain Faulkner turned aside to one
Of his officers.
81 think Mr.. Dash seems confused,
as IL he doesn't know what he is about.
Has he been in action before?"
Many times, sir" was the reply.
"He has been twenty-four years in the
service"
But Faulkner was net satisfied. He
eyed the pilot closely, and then step
ping up to him, asked him a trifling
question The pilots agitation was
such as to render him incapable Of re-
ply. Recovering himself to some extent
a moment later the wretched man,
keeping his eyes on the deck, in a low
voice addressed Faulkner, who was
bending over him, with this startling
admission:
81 see your honor knows me. am
unfit to guide her. don't know what
is come over me. dreamt last night
! should be killed, and am so afraid
don't know what am about. I
never in all my life felt afraid before"
Without for an instant losing his
presence OF mind, Captain Faulkner
replied to the man in a still lower
tone:
THE fate OF this expedition depends
on the man at the helm. Give it to me,
and 60 and hide your head in what
ever you fancy the safest part OF the
ship. But mind, fears are catching.
II hear you tell yours to one OF your
messmates, your life shall answer for
it Tomorrow"
The poor fellow, panic stricken,
went away, and overcome with shame,
sat down upon the armchest, while
Captain Faulkner seized the helm,
and with his own hand laid the Zebra
close to the walls OF the fort; but be-
fore he could land at the head OF his
gallant followers, a cannon ball struck
the arm-chest and blew the pilot to
atoms. He was the only man killed
OF all the Zebra's crew that day.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1921-09-29
II Was We.

To acknowledge frankly the value Of
the work done by our associates Is not
only kindly but wise. What may hap
pen to the man who seeks to take all
the credit for work in which others have
shared is amusingly illustrated in the
story OF the organist Of small church
and the boy who pumped the organ.
People from the surrounding country
side praised the organist's playing so
much that he became "puffed up" with
conceit. After recital he was explain
ing just how he had played q certain
piece OF music when the boy who had
pumped for him said, "You should say
how we'll we performed the piece"
"Co long," replied the organist; 81
played the piecew
eve did it," the boy insisted.
But the organist refused to give the
boy any credit for his help. The next
time the organist played, the boy peep
ed round he corner OF the organ, just
as the music was at its most interest
ing point, and said in loud whisper,
as it we?"
The organist was annoyed; the wind
was going down. "No," he said hastily.
"Blow, boy, blown
as 1t we?" repeated the lad.
"No. Blow, blow! Don't you see
that the wind is almost QUIT"
as it we ?" insisted the boy.
ayes, it's we" he said.
The notes were growing faint. The
organist was almost frantic.
GAIL right" said the boy and went
on with the blowing.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1921-09-29
cHIck-S.pEE-

Il can't understand" said Mr.. Chick
adee. "how creatures can live to-
gether and quarrel oil the time. II Is
such waste Of perfectly good time In
the first place. ,-i-
I'm the second place II isn1 any fun.
Quarreling most assuredly isn't fun"
Now. singing and chirping and worm
hunting and bread crumb parties are
all lots Of fun.
But quarreAng isn't any fun at all.
II makes creatures unhappy and II
makes them very often quite sad. Even
II they get the best Of a quarrel they
don't feel all happy and excited a. they
do after fine party.
Nov, the Sparrows light all the
time. But no enc would ever do
scribe the Sparrow as q merry, happy
little bird.
There is the Startling. Ne one
would descr'hc him ss a happy bird.
And the Starting Is fighter. too.
I'VE scsld In fun. nice chlckiing.
scolding notes We give. but we are
famous for our good spirits.
I'm sure most people know what
We look like with our little black
capped heads and the patch Of black
right under our ,beaks.
Eve have pretty threats, we're told.
The black patches are soft looking and
rather smart. toe.
I'VE wear simple gray suits and
have white touches On our wings.
I'm the winter time we like to be
about, too. And nothing upsets u.s.
We never grunble ever the weather.
We can't understood how people can
grumble over the weather.
ITO us it Is so foolish. The weather
10 going to do just what 1t wants to,
In the first place, and isn't Eeing to
pay attention to anyone, nor Is II GO
Ing to pay any attention to what any
one thinks.
Sensible creatures have discovered
that. And we feel we are sensible.
Besides. It only makes others un.
happy to hear grumbles about the
weather all the time. Any kind of
grunbles are unpleasant.
1--WE like to be friendly with crea-
lures. and We like people Immensely.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1921-09-29
Mrs.. Oyster Spent 5000 49,

~ LAY.
Following the attack on h. "a
George M Oyster, Jr., Of wash. l Of
millionaire dairy king, by NJ lyon.
s heaay Oyster his 2e-year-old S- tt.'
detailed detailed data were brought to li,h, 'a &c
e'e.llne the young widow had LONE IN. IN
preparing for her major e,,o-, zen
cover riches she apparently cons;S ~ Re.
to be slipping away from her ered
During the inventory o, her d..
husbands personal properly co,,.s
IN his luxuriously furnished .psr.m nee
., .he Wardman Park Hotel M.
oyster is said to have conduc,sd mrs
ass 1880. though the labyrinth Of n.
wealthy dairyman's personal n,on. me
insisting upon the inclusion Of N.
trivial items. ''e most
The inventory list as submi,,.d
the court is said to contain such IT, u
as shoe strings, discarded straw In.
and even the gilded frame in wb;c, a s
,eposed the boudoir photograph :,
Mr.. Oyster. p" OF
MRS. Oysters attempt to boos, Il.
value OF her husbands estat. 80
filing the attack upon a codicil ~ .n
WILL written four days before his d..,h
appeared seriously landscapes VIII"
1t was learned that additional Hill,
amounting to thousands OF douo,.
against the estate had been filed bv 49,
elusive shops Of Washington wb.N.
Mr.. Oyster had waved his Midas w.,s
Tor her pleasure.
Generosity approaching layisbn.s.
was apparently prompted bv III. w;.s
OF Oyster that his girl bride b. oh.
Best dressed woman in Washington D
In one day, according to the sbo,,.
sa'es account, Mrs. Oyster spent near,,
$1,000 for the pretty things Of a tro.
seau even greater in loneliness Tho,
could have been wished for BY the vain
est court beauty. Eleven hats o,.
listed at S2s5, were included in n.
purchases OF that single day Of spend.
ing.
The wardrobe obtained BY Mrs Owe
ter two days before the marriage ce,.
mony included 10 pairs Of fine hosiery
40 handkerchiefs, II hats, s waist, a
gowns, unnumbered pieces OF lingerie
and IL pairs Of gloves.
Thirty thousand dollars was the nric.
OF the tropical trip reported to hav.
been planned by Mr.. Oyster as a mid.
winter trip and not honeymoon. Mics
Ready came to Washington to plan tn.
trip, Commissioner James F. OYSTER
brother, said, but the journey ended
in the wedding.
Personal liabilities OF s43,62e 40
more than twice Mr.. Oysters personal
assets, and overdue income tax PAYMENT,
totaling S17,643.37, making in all per.
sonal debts Of Sol ,263.75 are reported
to leave a balance of but Slightly over
$4,000.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1921-09-29
How He Tells Time.

"My father" said the boy to the WON.
an who was calling on his mother, "is
great man. He knows what time il
IS without looking at his watch"
"What do you mean, Tommy ?" asked
the visitor
"Oh, when I holler out and ask him
what time it is in the morning he al
ways says it's time 10 get up. And
when ask him what time il is to 20 to
bed, he always says: Time to 20 to
sleep, Tommy"
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1921-09-29

We like to cheer them up in the cold
winter time as we'll as In the beautiful
summer time. nf.
I'm the winter time there aren't 20
many birds about and it is nice for
us to do what we can to cheer people
mp.
They're very good to us, very good
indeed. So many people give Us bread
crumbs In the winter time, when fsod
Is scarce and hard to get.
"And so We like to do what we can
Tor people, to show them we are xrate-
full to them"
I'VE do, indeed" said Mrs. Chick
adee.
1T seems the Phoebe birds have
been telling others that the vay to
now them Is by listening to them
saying their name over and over
again.
The Bobolinks have said the same.
what about us, Mr.. Chickadeef' Mrs.
Chickadee ended.
An said Mr.. Chickadee, I'VE like
to let them know who we are. too.
we are very anxious they should
know us, not only by cur looks. but
because we. too, tell them our family
name.
"over and over again W. like to
say:
"Chick-a-dee-dee-dee, chsck-a- dee.
dee-dee,' so they will know we are Of
the chfckadee family.
Then when they know who - are
we like to show them how friendly we
are and how we like to be with them
IN all sorts OF weather, and n the
winter as we'll as In the summer.
Il think I'd like to sing q little song
about it."
DO" said Mrs. Chickadee.
So Mr.. Chickadee sang this ssns.
When the winter Is long.
Were here with our sons
When summer Is here.
We want to give cheer.
SO all times OF the year.
We're hopping about.
singing that they never need sesr.
And never mood doubt
hut that Wen be around.
quite near the ground.
On days OF all sorts. .-.
with our chick q -dee- dee-dea
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1921-09-29
His Majesty's Anger.

A St. Bernard dog recently gave
remarkable and almost human ex-
hibition OF resentment and evil pas
sion. He was q splendid creature, Of
rare intelligence and docility. with an
air Of royal dignity and condescension
and answered to the name-"His
Majesty"
Although king among dogs. he was
his masters affectionate champion and
wiling slave, and so quick in discern
men that he seldom needed an or
der; but his loyalty was reserved for
his master alone.
One morning he was lying on q cost
ly rug in the richly furnished hall of
his masters suburban home. His mas
ter's wife, descending the stairway,
caught sight OF his luxurious bed, and
sternly reproved him.
"You must not lie there on nv best
rug she said. "A hardwood floor
IS soft enough for q dog with fur like
yours. His Majesty must come on"
His Majesty stared at her, and did
not obey. She went up to him and re-
peatcd the order, giving his shaggy
head sharp cuff with the back OF her
hand by way Of emphasis.
His Majesty was displeased. He
shook himself disdain July and slowly
retreated from the rue . a corner near
the front door. His pride was touch
ed by the blow given il m: his dignity
was offended by contemp;uous treat
ment. He remained in the corner all
the afternoon, nursing his resent
ment.
At five O'Clock the lady tripped down
the staircase second time, and passing
into the library, took a book and Law
down on a lounge for an hours rest
before dinner. The scene with the
dog had passed out Of her mind.
AS she turned the pages, with her
back to the door, His Majesty crept
IN, gave quick leap, and in an in
slant was on the lounge, standing over
her with his hot breath in her face and
his eyes flaming with wrath. She
was helpless and beside herself with
terror There were servants in the
Kitchen, but she did not dare to scream
for them.
His Majesty kept his cleaning eyes
fastened upon her, and showed his
teeth and growled whenever she made
the slightest movement. He stood
over her, the avenger OF his wounded
dignity, not attacking her, but intim-
ldating and frightening her in retalia-
ton for insult Of the morning.
A cuckoo clock on the manteI struck
the quarter hour, the half-hour, the
quarter-hour, and finally six O'Clock.
Neither the dog nor the lady moved.
A few minutes after six a familiar
step was heard on the stoop. His
Majesty jumped down from the lounge.
and ran to the door TO greet his mas
ter. The lady screamed, and her hus-
band rushed into the library, to find
her in an hysterical condition after
her hour Of exposure to royal dis
pleasure.
His Majesty had the virtuous air
OF one who had taught stupid per-
son useful lesson. But he had sign
ed his death warrant The lady could
not look at him again, and his mas
ter ordered hir,, a.. H. al.X
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1921-09-29
Tardy.

In politeness, as in quarrels, hum.
an language must often be taken in
fickwickian sence. Some one reports,
In the New York Herald, a bit Of con.
Versation between two gentlemen.
Did she thank you for the seat?"
said the first man-as il one ever needed
10 ask such question about a lady!
mo-" answered the other; but after
sne mad settled down in it, she smiled
sWcetly and begged me not to rise"
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1921-09-29
Soaked Up.

Monsieur Calino is fond Of instruct
ing his young son in natural history.
and never fails to give prompt answer
to any question that he may ask. One
day Calino Junior asked Calino Senior
where the water which was in the brook
went to.
Into the rivers" said monsieur.
And where does the water in the
river 60 to ?"
"lnto the sea-"
And where does the water in the sea
20 top"
1T Is absorbed by the sponges at the
oottom,' answered Monsieur Calino.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1921-09-29
Real Beauty,

A reply which was at once wise and
witty is said to have been made by a
gentlemen to whose decision in regard
to certain matter two pretty young
girls appealed.
They were discussing the question
as to what constitutes beauty in hand,
and differed greatly in opinion. AT
last they referred the matter to the old
man, OF whom they were both very fond.
my dears," said the old gentleman,
with kindly smile, "the question is
too hard one for me to decide. But
ask the poor. and they will tell you that
the most beautiful hand in the world
is the hand that gives the most freely"
Young ladies who contemplate pur-
chasing bicycles should harden their
muscles in advance by running the sew
ing machine or rocking the baby.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1921-09-29
RIDDLES.

Where can happiness always be
feund7 In the dictionary.
what Is that which is invisible, yet
always In sightr The letter 8.
what are we afraid of that cannot
really hurt us7 The roar OF a lion.
Why do authors dislike the letter
81 Because II makes their tales
stale.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1921-09-29

SO much is not often told in few
words the Lewistown Journal truly
says as in the remark Of the Canaan
correspondent Of the Pittsfield Advert
ser: The eleven little Dickey children
all have whooping cough "