The Washington herald., 1921-05-22

ing the office of Carteret and
L Carteret. Mill Supplies and
Leather Betting.
You follow the Broadway trail
down until you pass the Crosstown
Line. and come TO the Big Canons
of the Moneygrubber Tribe. Then
you turn to the left. to the right.
dodge a push cart and the tongue
of a two-ton. four-horse dray, and
hop, skip and jump to a granite
ledge on the side of a twenty-one-
story synthetic mountain OF stone
and iron. In the twelfth story is
the ONCE of Carteret and Carteret.
The factory where they make the
mill supplies and leather betting Is
in Brooklyn. Those commodities
to say nothing of Brooklyn-not be-
ing of interest to you, let us hold
the incidents within the confines OF
a one-act, one-scene play. thereby
lessening the toll of the reader and
the expenditure of the publisher. So,
II you have the courage to face four
pages of type and Carteret and Car
teret,s ofice boy. Percival, you shall
sit on a vanished chair in the inner
office and peep at the little comedy
of the Old Niger Man, the HUNT
ing Case Watch, and the Open-faced
Question-mostly borrowed from the
late Mr. Frank Stockton, as you will
conclude.
First, biography (but pared to the
quick) must intervene / am for
the inverted sugar-coated quinine
pill-the bitter on the outside.
The Carterets were, or was (Co-
lumbia College professors please
rule) an old Virginia family. Long
time ago the gentlemen of the fam
lily had worn lace ruffles and car
ried tinless foils and owned planta-
tions and had slaves to burn. But
the war had greatly reduced their
holdings. (Of course you can per-
ceive at once that this flavor has
been shoplifted from Mr.. F. Hopkin-
son Smith. in spite of the "et' after
"Carter.") Well, anyhow:
In digging up the Carteret history
I shall not take you further back
than the year 1920. The two Origi-
nal American Carterets came over
in that year. but by different mean:
of transportation. One brother
named John, came in the Mayfiower
and became Pilgrim Father
You've seen his picture on the COW
ers of the Thanksgiving magazines
hunting turkeys in the deep snow
with d blunderbuss. Blandford Car
teret. the other brother. crossed the
pond in his own brigantine. landed
on the Virginia coast, and became
an +. +. V John became distin'
guished for.piety and shrewdness In
business; Blandford for his pride
juIeps. craftsmanship and vast
sIave-cultivated plantations
Then came the civil war. u must
condense this historical interpola-
tion.O Stonewall Jackson was shot;
Lee surrendered; Grant toured the
world: cotton went to cents; Old
Crow whisky and Jim Crow cars
were invented: the Seventy-ninth
Massachusetts, Volunteers returned
10 the Ninety-seventh Alabama Zou-
ayes the battle flag of Lundys Lane
which they bought at a second-hand
store in Chelsea, kept by a man
named Skzchnzski: Georgia sent the
President a sixty pound watermelon
and that brings us up to the time
when the story begins. My. but that
was sparTinS for an opening.
really must brush up on my Arls-
totle.
The Yankee Carterets went into
business in New York long before
the war. Their house, as FAR as
Leather Betting and Mill Supplies
was concerned. was as musty and
arrogant and solid as one of those
old East India tea-importing con-
Germs that you read about in Dick
ems. There were some rumors of a
war behind its counters. but not
enough to affect the business.
During and after the war Bland
ford Carteret. F. F. V, lost his plan
tations, juleps. marksmanship. and
life He bequeathed little more
than his pride to his surviving fam
ily. So il came to pass that Bland
ford Carteret. the Fifth, aged f1f-
teen. was invited by the leather
and-milI supplies branch of that
name to come North and learn busi-
ness instead of hunting foxes and
boasting of the glory of his fathers
on the reduced acres of his impover-
ished family. The boy jumped at
the chance: and. at the age of twen-
ty-fve. sat in the office of the firm
equal partner with John. the Fifth
of the blunderbuss- -and-turkey y
branch. Here the story begins
again
The young men were about the
same age. smooth of face. alert, easy
of manner. and with an air that
ness. They were razored, blue
serged, straw-hatted, and pearl
stick pinned like other young New
Yorkers who might be millionaires
or bill clerks.
One afternoon at o'clock. in the
private office of the firm. Blandford
Carteret opened letter that clerk
had Just brought to his desk. After
reading it. he chuckled audibly for
nearly a minute. John looked around
from his desk inquiringly.
Its from mother" said Bland
ford. I'll read you the funny part
of it. She tells me all the neigh
borhood news first, of course. and
then cautions me against getting my
feet wet and musical comedies. After
that come vital statistics about
calves and pigs and an estimate OF
the wheat crop. And now I'll quote
some:
"'And what do you think? Ole
Uncle Jake, who was seventy-six
last Wednesday, must go travelling
Nothing would do but he must go to
New York and see his young Mar
ster BIandford." Old as he is, he
has a deal of common sense. so I've
let him go. l couldn't refuse him
he seemed to have concentrated all
his hopes and desires into this one
adventure into the wide world. You
know he was born on the plantation
and has never been ten miles away
from il in his life. And he was your
fathers body servant during the
war. and has been always faithful
vassal and servant of the family.
He has often seen the gold watch
the watch that was your fathers
and vnnr fafher's fafhar,s tnld