davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The state herald., 1921-08-19
THERE WAS

There was man who fancled
That, by driving good and fast,
He'd get his car across the track
Before the train came past.
He'd miss the engine by an inch,
And make the train men sore;
There was aman who fancied this,
There isn't any more. d
There was u wise old train man
Expert at coupling cars
He used his foot to push in place,
The khuckles and draw bars.
He did 1t thus for many years,
And thought II was great fun,
He had two feet to push them with
He now has only one.
Bill Jones on the repair track
Imagined he could do
A moments work beneath car
Without flag Of blue.
Well, yes, he did 1t many lines,
In spite of rule or warning
One day an engine bumped the cal
Bill's wife is wearing mourning.
.... E. -. Hugo Range Ledger
The state herald., 1921-08-19
State Industrial News

What will draw people to your
state more surely than record OF
industrial activity showing opportuni'
ties for employment and the invest.
ment of money
$50 state banks and trust compan-
les have total resources of $11O.646,-
464.
Denver-Burlington railroad Off
cials estimate $500 cars will be re-
quired to handle wheat crop along
their lines in northeastern Colorado.
During 1920 2O7S,SSs head of sheep
were received at Denver Union Stock
yards. This number was exceeded by
only one city in the world.
Denver-Motors Service Associa-
tion to build S375,OO0 garage.
Salida-Ohio G Colorado smelter
sold to eastern people for 100000.
New owners will operate plant.
United States bureau of crops es-
Inmates Coiorado's apple crop at g.
004000 bushels.
Steamboat Springs--Victor-A Ameri-
can Fuel Co. is installing new hoist
at their Wadge mine, which will dou-
BILE output.
Denver-Gates Rubber Co. adds 20
tire builders to their working force.
Denver-Plans being considered
for a ,,,upi,;nou,, nu,,ad ,oot ,,,;,o
Denver-Construction to start by
September list, on eleven state ar
mories to cost $4,000 each.
Greeley-Empson Canning Com
pany starts packing bean crop with
800 employees.
Colorado wheat crop will exceed all
previous records by at least 7,000,-
900 bushels.
Montrose-Luther Burbank to use
radium ore from this county in ex-
perimental work on plant life.
La Jara-10,0OO acres in this sec
tion to be reclaimed by drainage.
Greeley-War between cabbage grow
ers association and commission men
boosts price of cabbage to $40 per
ton, 10000 tons involved
The beet sugar industry has been
passing through a period of readjust
ment that has caused the taxpayers
and the farmers to realize that state
owned and cooperative sugar factor
les which were strongly advocated by
agitators during the period of high
prices, would have been an extremely
costly experiment.
The state herald., 1921-08-19
Harry Carey Tells
How His Cinema
Career Started

My stage career started in burles-
que shows wherein | played the role
of a negro comedian. Lest any of
my friends consider that beginning
too undignified. let me explain that
the burlesque shows were staged by
the students of Columbia University,
my Alma Mater. | had entered Col
umbia, after graduating from Hamil.
ton Military Academy. with the in
tention Of becoming lawyer. My
father was Judge Carey and he
wanted me to follow the legal profes.
sion.
Ill health compelled ME to leave
college and 20, la Greeley, West.
While endeayoring to regain my
strength, followed several Ca.
reers.' mostly outdoor ones. Some
of these temporary professions were
those Of cowboy street railway
superintendent. author lawyer, actor.
manager, director, miner, prize.fight
Nht4ANNl aili HN
in fairs and exposltions. I've been
a navigator on river boats OF limited
tonnage.
During my spare time-and there
wasn't any too much OF that wrote
some plays. The most successful Of
these was Montana" in which star
red for twelve years. After that
starred in Heart of Alaska" which
| wrote.
The West had cast It's spell over
me. My folks wished me to return
to New York City, but the sunshine
OF Gods Country had soeped into my
blood and turned down several
good opportunities which would hay,
necessitated my returning East, Tn,
movie game-ynon in It's infancy
seemed happy solution OF my dif
fieulties, combining as II did an out
door life. theatrical work aud HON,
IN California.
| started with Griffith In the Bio
The state herald., 1921-08-19
MAKE YOUR OWN BREW


An exchange suggests the making
of home brew and gives the follow
ing recipe:
Chase a wild bullfrog three miles
and gather up the hops. To the hops
add the following:
10 gallons of tan bark,
IL pit. shellac.
] bar homemade soap.
Boil this mixture thirty.six hours
then strain this mixture through an
!. W. w. sock to keep It from work
ing, then bottle and add one grass
hopper to each pint to give It the
kick. Author still at large,
The state herald., 1921-08-19
Auction Land Sale

To be sold at public auction, 1O,56e
acres of land in Greeley county, Kan
sas; smooth. level tractor land, the
best soil and best wheat land in
America; $3.50 down the day of the
sale, $3.50 March 1, balance on or be-
fore three or FIVE years, interest go
This land will be sold at public auc-
ton. September 12, 13 and IA at Tri-
hume, Kansas. You make the price.
Write for full description and parti-
culars.
THE NATIONAL LAND SALES CO..
Burlington, Colorado or Tribune,
Kansas. 37-5t
The state herald., 1921-08-19
WHY 1T is NECESSARY

why is scantiness of attire con.
sidered so necessary in art?"
"You see," replied the eminent
sculptor, "it takes long time to
make statue and we couldn't al,
ford to have it left on our sands be
cause the clothes were out of style.
Washington Star
The state herald., 1921-08-19

The HoIyoke Grain company's Kan
red Seed Wheat is registered. Insist
that others are, and ask to see the
registration.
The state herald., 1921-08-19

j. II. Bemis' left Monday for Den
yer to buy fall goods.
The state herald., 1921-08-19

TRY OUR WANT AD COLUMN
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-12-18
A New Excuse.

g JUDGE. you ought to let me on
- this time"
But you acknowledge you were
going fifty miles an hour"
ut war this way. Judge. I'm On
aviator and very absent-minded I
thought I was in my air bus instead
Of motor car When ! glanced at
the speedometer and saw I was
travelling only eight miles an hour
I got panic-stricken and stepped on
the gas TO keep from going into q
tail spin"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-12-18
ENIil|||D
His Suspicion.

IS HAVE just received Q diploma
from the cooking SCHOOL," an.
nounced the young wife to her hus-
band one evening as they sat down
to supper.
Have your" he rerlied without
much show of interest.
We'll, aren't you siad I have been
enrolled a. competent cook7"
asked the disa ppointed wife. "Just
see, have prepared this whole din
ncrl / gave especial attention to
that dish there, Guess what It is"
The husband was at the moment
trying to chew a particularly tough
piece OF the contents OF the dish.
Observing his puzzled look, the wife
repeated. Guess what It is"
81 don't know" replied the hus-
band uncertainty. "Is II the d.
plomaf-
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-12-18
Going the Limit,

MRS. BROWN was getting thor
AVA oughly tired Of the continual
borrowing Of her neighbor Mrs
Smith. First II was some house
hold utensil, then little articles of
groceries and so forth. One morn
ing Mrs. Smiths little girl came to
the door.
please. Mrs. Brown she said.
mother says would you lend her q
little bit Of black lead and some
margarine?"
Mrs Brown was ann rcd and de-
termined to stop the borrowing.
Tell your mother I've got other
fish to fry" she snapped.
The litt'. girl went, but was back
again in two minutes with q dish
and another request.
please, mother says could you
lend her some of the fried hshf"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-12-18
In Wet England
PARTY Of 'Arrys and 'Arriets


"A we're out for a drive ia a char
a-bancs. AS the vehicle drew up at
q village hostelry Bill Jumped down
with the intention of standing q
treat to few of his special friends.
'wot yer soin' to hev, Mariar"
he inquired.
"'Alf a pint O. bitter. Bill" she
replied.
AN you, Sallyf"
"Oh, I'll ave the same"
"Ar' wot will you ave. Mrs.
Jones7"
Mrs. Jones. q portly lady, had an
idea that she was q cut above the
rest OF the company, and. with .
languid afr. she remarked, well. I
seldom takes anything, Bill. but I'll
Jest ave . mouthful ~ ye'rs 20
kind
mo bioomin' fear" ren''nd p'p.
you'll get 'alf a pint like the rest,
and not a drop more"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-12-18
From Here and hire with the Wits

Something Moro Thrilling.
SSYES, I was on tho battleship
when she cleared for action.
and assure You II was tho most
thrilling and impressive moment
you could conceive"
"Huhi I guess you never stood
by when q golf club champion was
getting ready to drive"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-12-18
Committing sSuch
Sweet Sorrow
N mr.. PECKINGToN grows very

III" weary OF MS glovo-nttlng
apartment In the large and
wicked city. and he jumps his lease
one dark night and moves into q
bungalow in a new suburb named
Epson Downs.
The bungalow. - one of those
papier mache affairs. held together
against the wintry blast by the
wallpaper and the mortgage. II 10
one of those large affairs where
one can fry eggs in the kitchen
with one hand and play the piann
In the parlor with the other. To
save room they use condensed
milk.
Mr.. Peckington had previously
Investigated about hundred sub
urban growths, all with pretty
names. from Gladys Manor to Tillie
Terrace, but he finally selected
Epson Downs as.being appropriate
when one is buying a bungalow on
the installment plan.
Then Mr. Peckington became one
OF those worried train chasers and
railroad haters. His greatest am
billion is to get seat in the train.
II he accomplishes this twice in one
month he is a successful commuter.
He is only twenty-five minutes
from the city-by telephone.
II you see a harried-looking man
with thin layer Of ashes around
the bottoms of his trousers It will be
Mr.. Peckington or one Of the other
commuters. for Mr.. Pilkington has
. furnace to look after Just before
he sprints for the bandbox railway
station to catch the 1888.
One advantage in committing is
mat q man does not have to spend
much time at his business. By the
time he has arrived at his office
and looked at his watch three hun
dred and twenty-seven times so he
VIII not miss his train home, It is
time to start out and do the shop
ping uptown that his wife has or
dered and then. loaded down like
Santa Claus. to hasten to the sta
ton, whore he finds seven hundred
other gentlemen loaded with bum
dies. between him and the gate, all
waiting for the same train.
But when he gets home-yea DO!
He has nothing to do but attend
to the furnace. from which the fire
has long since departed. clean up
the back yard, rake the leaves of
the front lawn. chase the neighbours
hens. do little tinkering on the
Ford, and then he can sit down and
eat the things he has brought
home.
But that is the life. Mr.. Peck
ington has told his friends that so
often that he finally begins to be-
Eeve It himself. There isn't a sub
urban real estate promoter in the
world who won't agree with him.
He and the wife join the Hoof
and Jazz Social Club. which holds
hops every week in the dining room
OF the Epson Downs Country Club.
He buys golf outfit, but when he
looks in the cheval glass and finds
out how he looks in Knockers, he
decides that golf is not his meat.
He often thinks regretfully OF
the glove-ftting apartment where
he could stick his feet out of the
window and kick the gentleman
who has the apartment across the
court; Of the good old steam heat,
which is steam heat whether It
works or not. and of the theatre
which was only two blocks away,
and he actually grows sentimental,
over the dear old subway.
But to live life In the full one
must be a commuter at least once
IN lifetime, and committing has
many good points, too. II you can
only find them.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-12-18
Not What He Meant.

THE BOSS-What do you mean by
such language! Are you the
manager here or am n
Jones--1 know I'm not the man.
ager.
The Boss very well, then, II
you're not the manager, why do you
talk like q blamed idiotf
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-12-18
A Poor Pudding.

GuOW are you playing7" We
"a asked a golfer at the club the
other day.
You know me-" said the man.
my regular game lot OF careless
work, but now and then q good shot
Always there are some good shots
sprinkled through the day like
plums In = pudding"
Geo." said the mans caddis. Il
wouldn't want to have to eat that
kind Of . pudding"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-12-18
No Help from Him.

UMOW that your boy is out Of col
~ lege is he helping you on the
farmi~
mt enough to notice." said Mr..
Cobbles. Hes given the old homo
place a fancy name he found in a
Look and invites his college friends
out to spend what no calls week
ends. but me and the hired men are
keeping the same hours we always
did"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-12-18
Reason Enoughl

YOUNG Harold was late for Sun
day school and the minister in
quired the cause.
Il was going fishing. but father
wouldn't let me-" announced the
lad.
That's the right kind Of q father
to have" replied the reverend gen.
tleman. did he explain the reason
why he would not let you got"
Eyes. sir. He said there wasn't
bait enough for two
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-12-18
Man and His Oar.

SS1HEi Cd, me dIlvei of q car
comes to have a sort of sym.
pathetic understanding with the
machine"
There is a mysterious relation
ship between a man and his car,
that's fact. For instance. when
ever my car il broke | know that I
am going to be-"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-12-18
A Few Good Ones

The Unhappy Medium.
GLOW fast can your car sor
- Just fast enough" replied
Mr.. Chuggins. ito break tho road
rules and not fast enough to keep
ahead OF the cop"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-12-18
Fun for the Caddie.

UCOLF must be a very amusing
" game"
WELL" returned the novice. 1T
hasn't made me laugh yet. but my
caddie appears to get a great deal
Of quiet fun out OF It."
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-12-18
Good at Pinochle.

WYoU have to pay your hired
hands a great deal Of money"
"More'n could afford" said Far
mer Corntassel, "if me and my boy
Josh didn't get some Of II back
playin' pinochle with EN- every Sat
urday night"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-12-18
How She Knew.

DRETTY CASH1ER--l need holi.
. day. My beauty's beginning to
fade.
Manager-What makes you think
that7
men are beginning to count their
change" .',. ...
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-12-18
His Hoodoo,

V1SITOR-Why are you here, my
poor man7
Prisoner-Im a victim Of dat I'M
lucky 10. lady.
Indeed! How's thatf"
Twelve Jurors and one Judge"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-12-18
How It Happened.

SCVOU say that scar on your head
10 birthmark. And yet you
admit getting It on o train"
That's right. tried to get into
the wrong berth"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-12-18
Walls of a Benedict

q OME women 90 in for free
- verse the way they do for hus-
bsnds-without rhyme or rea.
son.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-12-18
No Chance About II.

No Chance About It.
CILLlCUS-Ahi marriage 10 Q lot
- tory.
Cynicus--Old stun. my boy. Now.
adays it's game Of skill.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-12-18
A Loud Voice

A Loud Voice.
NWHOM does tho baby re-
W semblef"
We'll, he has my wffe's eyes and
my nose, but can't imagine where
no got his voice unless II was from
my motor siren"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-12-18

You can always tell when a man
- talking to his wife over the tele-
phone by how little he has to say.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-12-18
A Powerful Incentive.

KRISS--How does the"doctor man
A age to have his bills paid 50
promptly
Kross--He gives . prescription
with every receipt as q bonus.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-12-18
Such q Modest Girl.

JACKS she modestf
King-Modest? Why, when I
call she puts curtains around the
table legs. ll,s9a(
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-12-18
A True Bohemian.

NVOUR next-door neighbor Is .
i true Bohemian; he claims to
be able to paint pictures Of an
empty stomach. Do you believe
n?"
Certainly! He's a tattoo Art
ist."
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-12-18
Jazzy Jingles

DEnni PIE, sing thee,
Pastry with crimson heart
grab thee at the counter
When dining Ia carte.
But, though I'm free with SUGAR.
Thou remainest cranberry tart
Prices are falling mighty slow
II seems to me-" said Brown;
lake women's skirts. they've fas
Ere they are really down"
A whlrling dervish cracked this
pun.
And then he cracked q grin.
Unlike the lilies OF the neld,
l toll and also spin"
There was q young man nom
Cornell.
Who engaged life insurance to sell,
But ere many a day.
He was prompted to say
That selling insurance is-not what
1t is cracked up to be.
Take my advice"
A wise man spo'
And laugh at you;
Employers Joke"
The avenue girl attracts your
stares.
Your heart goes pit-acpat:
For she puts on . lot of airs
And lets It 60 at that.
When Greek meets Greek
They squeak and shrek
Until you don't know which 'un
Is going to slay the other. then
They start q candy kitchen.
There once was a mixer Of potions.
A maker of internal lotions,
Who said: Its too sad.
Why should ! be glad,
When I only can 90 through the
motionsI"
Gems Of rare radiance adorn
A matron's loneliness;
The silk worm from its nest is torn
That she may have dress.
Bold divers search the ocean blue
For pearls to grace her neck:
Admiring guests say "Howdy-do"-
And father writes a check.
Mr.. Jack Homer
Stood on a corner .....
Till suddenly he became dryI
Round town he did dig
Till he found a blind pig
And said, "What a smart boy
am T." D.
Now the fashion journals tell me
that milady's hat this year
VIII be smaller. and l think
that's very nice;
But l can't help entertaining q
persistent sort OF fear
That the shrinkage is not going
to hit the price.
The melancholy days are come,
The saddest Of the year,
And dads gone on hunting trip
For moose and bear and deer.
For father dear we drop a tear
And pray beside our bed
That he'll come back chock-fun a
deer
And not chock-full OF lead.
She lets me kiss her now and then.
: And that is nice.
She does the same for other meu,
get advice.
OF course, I kiss a friend or two,
Or maybe, three.
A common thing for men to do,
But why should she?
A Few Good Ones
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-12-18

II won't take much to get a man
TO admit that he is his wife's lord
and pay-master.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-12-18

II SD Wohou ~ III lOT Tree
- verse the way they do for hus-
bands-without rhyme or rea.
You can always tell when a man
- talking to his wife over the tele-
phone by how little he has to say.
II won't take much to get a man
TO admit that he is his wife's lord
and pay-master.
Woman always likes to consider
herself the pursued In spite OF the
great catch her friends say she
made. .....
Once q woman couldn't get her
husb to go down into the cellar.
To-day she can't ever get him to
come up.
! Some men barely get away with
Il when they call their wives
angels.
Many a man who sets out to steal
a girls heart finds 1t is made OF
stone--two carat size.
When a woman says she meas.
ures her words the chances are
she hands 'em out by the yard.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-12-18

When woman says she meas.
ures her words the chances are
she hands 'em out by the yard.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-12-18

Many a man who sets out to steal
a girls heart finds 1t is made Of
stone--two carat size.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-12-18

Some men barely get away with
Il when they call their wives
angels.
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1921-09-30

For the first week of this great offer solid carload of
upholstered living furniture at prices heretofore
heard of.
The % Hadey stores purchased the entire surplus stock of
high grade veours and tapestries from Maher Brothers of
Medina New York and had this merchandise made
plete suites Our allotment carload.
We firmly believe that this the first time entire carload
of overued suites entered the city of Davenport
choosing sixteen different
patterns Choice of luxurious threepiece tapestry
combinations all velour and all tapestry.
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1921-09-30

It is almost impossible TO justifiably
picture and describe this beautiful suite.
To place it in your home is to acquire
the utmost luxurious appointments. We
suggest that you come in and see it with
your own eyes. It consists of a hand
some high back wing chair. large com
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1921-09-30

Portable rocker and massive davenport
with mahogany finished frames Each
piece has spring seats. loose cushions
spring arms and backs. and is uphol-
stored in fine quality blue velour. Let
our convenient credit plan place this
suite in your home
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1921-01-26

have come to hear Nine. CALI
Curci. She is the drawing card
and should be paid accordingly
Her support should be paid in pro
portion. Suppose you produced
the same opera with the same cast,
Wlth the exception of Nine. CALI
Curcl? Would il prove the same
drawing card? OF course not.
This is only fairness to all and
l shall work along this line.
You know the appointment
came to me in the most sudden
manner. was sitting at nv piano
pfactlclng when Mr.. Harold f, Nc
Cormick entered and asked me ia
step downstairs as the board of
directors wanted TO see me. | ask
ed nm what 1t was about and he
answered. About the opera |
went and question after question
was fired at me. l answered them
all and told my opinions. I was
never selfish in keeping my iasas
TO myself when | saw that by Wv r.
ing them to others the art could
be benefited. l then came back To
my room and at that time had no
idea of what was to follow. short
~ afterward Mr.. Mccormick came
IN and in a most moderate tone
said: The board of directors has
ANONYMOUSLY elected you to fill
Campanini's place. Do you accept o
l never hesitated. My answer was,
Hes. and my ambition is to
place opera foremost in the minds
of America"