The Chicago whip. (Chicago, Ill.) 1919-19??, 1921-03-19
OPEN BECCAR'
GIFT BUREAUAT
WASHINGTON N.
Henry Line johnson Appoints
Self President of The United
Beggar's OF America.
By Lupin

Washington. March l6.--Jobs have
given ont here in Washington. Presi-
dent Harding has picked his Kitchen
Cabinet" His pantry boys and soul
hons have been named His porters
and window washers have received
their appointments. But there are
many OF the faithful" who are yet
unrewarded. And the faithful MUST
be rewarded Else on next election
day they would vote the bolshevik or
any other ticket where they could
scrape the pans OF the victor. That is
the extent OF their faith
In the absence OF jobs for the Re-
publican camp-followers, jobs must be
created, and that is just what the
mendicant politicians have set about to
do But President Harding and Secre-
tary Mellon have sworn that they will
guard the nations treasury from
plundererS both at home and abroad,
and have hung out the No Help
Wanted sign on the Capitol
Another Bureau Created
Forced by this exigency to cast about
for other means to take care OF their
disappointed friends, and mindful OF
the lat days in Chicago last summer
during and following the Republican
iNational Convention, when they es-
.tabiislied and. iriaintained the s1hn
Crow Bureau Tor Colored Republican
Speakers they have decided to create
another bureau According TO state
ments issued by the "bureaucrats'
themselves, their object will be TO
line up forces for a great drive on the
administration, to the end that remedial
and effective legislation will he passed
as promptly a. possible" TO this end
they are asking "a small contribution
from each lodge. church. school. or
ganization, or individual"
In other words, President Henry
Lincoln Johnson, OF the United Beg
gars OF America has located his capi-
tai in Washington. and has named
Perry W. Howard, OF Mississippi, his
Secretary OF State Other members of
his cabinet will be named as fast as
contributions come in TO pay their
salaries.
There is one new feature about this
latest plan OF rehablitating INDECENT
politicians. In former days, our high
binding politicians followed the pre-
cedent set by Robin Hood. and preyed
only upon the rich-that is, upon the
wealthy Republican Party Not so with
ihese gentlemen they have turned up
on their own blood, and like starving
wolves in the frozen Arctic ice-helds,
they are preparing to slay and deyour
the weakest OF their own pack.
Henry Lincoln Johnson has been re-
icred to as President" but that
would imply that he is duly author
ized to represent the "beggar race" at
the nations capital, and that he has
the sanction of the mass of beggars
themselves Such is by no means the
case lie has voluntarily assumed the
beggar role, and it fits him excellent
ly. But suppose among the twelve
million people he claims to represent
there are those would prefer in
movement like this to be represented
by different type of man, There is
no relief for them. They have been so
long swayed by mere oratory, that "he
among them who has the loudest
mouth is leader OF them ALL
SO in few days yours and my CON
tributions will begin to find their way
into the Golfers of this new bureau"
ostensibly for the purpose of enacting
legislation against lynching, etc, but
actually for the purpose OF providing
an easy job for Line" and his faith
ful followers.
No doubt the drug store saloonist
will be able to buy new automobile
in few months.