The Washington herald., 1921-01-01
An O. Henry Story
The Fool Killer

yoo uoh I CdIt lOT your own life. Il
will save 1t for you" .
hurried out and overlook the
man in gray halfway down the
block. He looked as / had seen him
! In my fancy a thousand times
truculent, gray. and awful, He
walked with the white oak stan.
and but for the street-sp rinkler the
dust would have been flying under
his tread. =.
I caught him by the sleeve and
steered him to a dark. angle of a
building. i knew he was a myth.
and / did not wsbt cop to see me
conversing with vacancy, for 1
might land in Bellevue minus my
silver matchbox and diamond ring.
Jesse Holmes" said /, facing him
with apparent bravery, Il know you.
have heard of you all my life, /
know now what a scouree you have
been to your country. Instead of
killing fools you have been murder
ing the youth and genius that are
necessary to makea people live ana
grow great. You are a fool your
self, Holiness, you began killing off
the brightest and best of your coun-
trymen three generations ago, when
the old and obsolete standards. of
society and honor and orthodoxy
were narrow and. bigoted. You
proved that when you put your mur-
derous mark upon my friend Ker-
ner--the wisest chap ever knew in
my life"
The Fool-Killer looked at me
grimly and closely.
You've a queer jag" said he, cut
riously. oh, yes; see who you are
now. You were sitting with him at
the table. Well, II I'm not mistaken,
heard you call him a fool, too"
did" said l. Il delight in doinR z
So 1t Is from envy. By all the
standards that you know he is the
most egregious and grandiloquent
and gorgeous fool in all the world.
That's why you want to kill him"
would you mind telling me who
+or what you think 1 ann" asked the
old man.
laughed boisterously and then
stopped suddenly, for remembered
that 1t would not do to be seen so
hilarious In the company of nothing
but brick wall.
You are Jesse Holmes, the Fool
Killer" 1 said, solemnly, and you
are going to kill my friend Kerner.
don't know who rang you up, but
II you do kill him I'll see that you
get pinched for it. That is" L
added, .despairingly. '1f I can get
cop to see you. They have a poor
eye Tor mortals, and I think 1t
would take the whole force to
round up a myth murderer"
Well" said the Fool-Killer,
orlskly, Il must be going. You
had better go home and sleep it o..
Goodnight"
At this I was moved by a sud
den fear for Kerner to a softers and
more pleading mood. leaned
against the gray mans sleeve and
besought him:
Good Mr.. Fool-KiIIer, please
don't kill little Kerner. why can't
you go back South and xiii Con,
gressmen and clay-eaters and let us
alone? Why don't you go up on
F1fth avenue and kill millionaires
that keep their money locked up
and won't let young fools marry
because one Of 'em lives on the
wrong street? Come and have a
orlnk' Jesse. VIII you never get
onto your job?"
DO You know this girl that your
trlena has made himself a fool
aoout? asked the Fool-Killer.
have the honor" said l, "and
mats whX I called Kerner a fool.
ne is fool because he has waited
SO long before marrying her. He
Is 1901 because he has been wait
ing in the hopes of getting the
consent of some absurd $4,000 900
1000 parent or something of, the
sort"
Maybe said the FooI-Kiner-
maybe II might have looked at
1t differently. Would you mind go
ing back to the restaurant and
bringing your friend Kerner here7.
"Oh, what's the use, Jesse
yawned. He can't see you. He
didn't know you were talking 70
MIN at the table. You are a fcti-
tious character. you know"
Maybe he can this time. Will
you go fetch him.
All right" 1 said, but I've a sus-
plcion that you're not strictly sober.
Jesse. You seem to be wayerinR
and losing your outlines. Don't
vanish before 1 get back"
went back to Kerner and said:
There's a man with an invisible
homictdal mania waiting to see Won
outside. believe he wants to muir
der you. Come along. You won't
see him, so there's nothing to be
frightened about"
herner looked anxious.
why said he, 'I had no idea
one absinthe would do that. You'd
better stick to wurzberyer. ri
walk home with you"
led him to Jesse Holmes.
Rudolf" said the Fool-KiIIer
I'll give in. Bring her up to the
house. Give me your hand, bov,"
Good for you, dad" said Kerner
shaking hands with the old man
foun never regret it after you
know her"
Copyright, 1920, by Wheeler svpd;e,t,l