The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1921-02-19
THE rneL PROOF.

BY Lseio.
I'm the Manchester, Eng, GUARDIAN.
O spooks Of every known address. from I'm
dor to-Cock Lane.
IL weep-for you, sympsthizs with all your
harassed train;
Ha. been ana gone and fixed for you the cul-
minating test
Believe me, It's teaser, this new terror that
| /. confronts,
For IT'S not At all . matter OF the gosd Old
fashioned stunts.i
When . little deviation. or . table raped or
two
Tor A word with kind Sir Oliver were sure
to get you through.
You are dealing how with ins6aDs1ea vaa
battery and bell,
And If YOU answer quick enough. then ell may
| yet be we'll:
But II you don't reply 1T once, or signal Line
l engaged"
ION. you'll leave our Mr.. Edison most dread
fully enraged.
| And in spite of al authorities, from Paul to
Conan Doyle,
He'll assume large-sized Nothing when We
| quit this mortal coil;
For a thing that cannot ring a bell, or boiler
l. down phone.
Why, how can 1t be said 10 nave existence
| Of its own?
| So as / and many others who are stIl OF
| mortal make
Have a certain minor interest in the point
| that is at stake,
Oh do speak up and promptly when you get
| the wizards call.
Or he'll prove there isn't any kind Of after
life at ALL
| THE author Of the foregoing satire must
have taken his n de p. from Marie Corelli's
Sorrows Of Satan." for he writes, in m. O.
g.. with a devilish keen Wit
NY Dear, Everything Was Just
Simply Beau.a-a-tful"
(From the Galesburg Republican-Register).
| -. Just preceding the ceremony
Mrs. R. p Thompson. Jr., beautifully
sang AT Dawning," accompanied by
| Mrs. william Bukner.
| After congratulations were received
| the guests departed to the home Of Mr..
| and Mrs. W. M. Clayton, parents Of the
| groom, where q beautiful reception was
held. The homo was beautifully deco
rated with cream white wedding bells,
suspended from the center of the door
7 to both living room and dining room
| The bride and groom were recip-
! tents Of many beautiful and useful gifts,
consisting Of money. silver. linen and z
furniture. e
WHAT is the pleasure OF the ,assemblage
in this Graveyard Of Gayety on the motion to
set aside crypt in the Mausoleum Of Mirth
in favor of this motion signify by the
usual sign. Unanimously carried Come on
in, Mary; make user t hum Now. can
someone locate a Mr. Stone?
Wonder II This Scheme would Be Effective
II Applied to the Hearst Dailics!
(From the Chicago Tribune).
Twelve years ago the plant Of the
News, then q daily, was completely
wrecked by dynamite. Since then the
News has been q weekly.
"ENRICo CARUso's fate rested in his own
hands today" wrote the fearless Mr.. Jacobs
for the United Press Therefore. since the
gifted tenor has said he does not intend to
die, oil your fears may be set at rest.
The Vast Reaches Of Wisconsin.
(From The Argus).
| Dubuque, Iowa, Feb. ia fire which
started in the lumber yards Of the Fen
nimore Lumber company at 1880 o'clock -
today threatens to wipe out a large por-
ton OF the business district OF Fenni-
more. Wis, town of 5000 Inhabitants,
4 $4,000 miles from Pattsville, Wis.
ALL we want to know" appends wern
to the above clipping, lis WHERE Pattsville,
Wis, is located" Well the distance around
the earth 10 something like $4,000 miles, isn't
lit? Therefore Pattsville must be quite near
Fennimore.
No, There Isnt-When One Reads
! Blurb Like This.
(Ffom a statement by Wilbur Glenn voliva).
| "Th0 earth In like a Di0 nan with
the north pole in the center Why il
+ the earth were round, the Australians
who are beneath US. according to all
astronomers. would have to have hooks
on their feet to keep from falling off,
There is no such thing IS gravity"
THE greatest living German poet" tby his
own admission) is on trial for common theft
and fraud His defense is that a man like
himself cannot be expected to be bound by
ordinary laws. THE doctrine Of every man
having equal rights before a court Of Justice"
says he. lis absurd. am not everybody"
Which is some concession, considering his
name. 1t 10 George KAISER
DRAG RIVER FOR EDITOR POTTER
The Argus.
s funny; We saw him not I'VE minutes agos
How VIII You Have Them Served Stewed
or Hard.boiledl
| (From the Aledo Democrat),
| @>The February meeting Of the home
bureau was held Friday at the Albert
i ttN>