The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1921-09-01
FEMININE FREEDOM.

away the postmaster arises to introduce the
Philosopher Who Thinks He knows something
About ,r
| Feminine freedom goes long way IN
| the case of spiders (where the prlae de-
YOURS the bridegroom, but IN splIe Oh
her hasty temper the 1emaie spioeF ID d
The banner of "women's freedom" is
carried much farther by the tlhamou' a
South American bird.
! She is tickle wife and confirmed
child-deserter. Two female tinamous
will fight for the claw of a blushlng male
bird, who accepts the winner WITHOUT
any voice in the matter.
AS soon as she has laid a nesttul or
eggs, off she goes and fights another fe-
male for another husband.
The she deserts her second husband,
leaving him nothing but tender memories
and more eggs. In time she amasses
kind of disconnected harem of husbands.
/ The husbands have all the tender
l. qualities the wife lacks They hatch the
eggs, guard the chicks. and "mother"
them.
AT this point the POSTMASTER (wbo is not
immune from the t.-h. weaknesses of toastmas-
ters1 insists upon inf1ictng an Original poem
upon the assemblage. These things are al
ways referred to as original poems because
the author is anxious that his hearers SHAH
not muff the fact that he (himsef) wrote IL
and the hearers are always glad to know that
thew don't have to blame some other poor devil
ton He has just lost tooth.)
SEPTEMBER.
Thentember it'll a lovely month,
A time for thweet Fomanthing;
think the perthon 18th a dunth
To whom it'th not entranthing.
love to roam the woodland Ianeth,
My love and l together.
I think the perthOn hath no brainth
Who doethn't love thith weather
love to hear the locutht tuneth
And Watth the leaVeth a-falling.
A perthon mutht be full of pruneth
To whom 18th not enthralling. =
Soon frotht will thtop mothquito biteth
"a thing that thetth me weeping);
But motht of all 1 love the nightth-
They tho fine for thleeping!
THE audience will please rise while we all
Join in singing America, which will close
our program for the evening.
Oh, Florence, Tell Us Story. win You!'
[CoIdbrook Corr, Monmouth UllD Atlas
Miss Florence Adcock won the praise
of a good audience at the Coldbrook
church Sunday evening when she told
of her trip to Woods Hole, Mass. 1t was
an interesting and instructive story sold
with exquisite charm Miss Florence is
a student of which Knox college may
well be proud.
RUMMAGING through a mass of clippings
in our desk we ran across one of the sort for
which Judge pays SIS each week. Beneath
picture of bathing beauty seated on Cor i'm
water bicycle the Muscatine Journal had this
to say: admiral Eberle {right) and Maj. Gen.
George Bennett, of the marine corps, snapped
on the flagship New Mexico in San Francisco
Bay when Eberle took over command of the
Pacific fleet The caption for the picture was,
appropriately enough, "Ain't We Got Fun"
OH. WE DON'T KNOW. TT WOULDN'T HAVE
TAKEN LONG TO TELL HIM.
Dear Mac: How's this for good "con-
versation"?
Man onephone: %Helio, is this the -
theatre?"
Girl in box office: Eyes, sir
Man: We'll, what have you got on to-
night, giriie?''
Nerve? Well, what do YOU say. Ell?
MERRY MAGGIE
PASTOR Discovers He Erred; Married
Divorced Man."-Peoria Journal
said " l. "'"'u nave
THE OPEN ROAD-19a1.
[FrF- v in the New York Tribune.I
Bill. let's take the road together,
Let US tramp the open way.
We will face. the August weathsg:
Leave behind us yesterday
With its load of heavy sorrow.
We will seek. horizons far,
Faces turning toward the morrow /
(Squ-a~a-ak! Look Quit Here comes caro- |
Tramping vagabonds, -we~two.
Leaving1an our cares behind.
Winds arsSkeen and skies are blue
CHonk! 'Sa matter? You guys blindD
Skies are tblRe we have said
LghtestS hearts our only load,
AS We gaylySfprge ahead
(Toot-toot! Think va own the roadD
Winds and clouds will be our mates
CBr-r-r ha-woosh! va gol-darned hick1
We shall. laugh at all the fates-
Here's another Jump, Bill. Quicki
All the fates, then. to resume
Caunot.makes us fret-or bother.
Open@roads are free from gloom
Climb that fence Here comes anothert
SPEAKING OF headlines. This. from The
Agus: Auto Bandits Rob Hall Bank"
Wal, I'll be gumswizzled." l.
THE trouble withf Ireland, as an English |:
nan sees it, is that the bloody island is tnhah-
ted by the Irish. !.
WEST VIRGINIA Still seething." saws a
'eora Journal S-col streamer.
that IS true Harding should send not
roops- but revenue officers.
MISS DOROTHY DRUM Of Galesbure III
as been beating time. with a mixed onartet
n a-Chautauqua circuit Recently. hnvever u
he beat 1t for home.
likewise. p erG 10