The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-12-04
rockingham
Phibbs on Money
<TsHEY say money talks" re-
marked Frothingh am

: surveyed to0 mIlllnery Dill Mrs
|. Phibbs slipped him along with his
!, eggs. rolls and coffee a. breakfas,
, time. but II It does. It must be in
q foreign tongue. I don't under,
stand It,"
Maybe II you had enough Of IT,
snapped the missus, you'd manage
to get on speaking terms"
Enough Of TT" repeated the dis.
gruntled Phibbs. II could never
have enough with your leanings
toward the new styles. It's got SO
that the department stores you
patronize have Q lisn on my earn.
ings before even get EN-"
as that SO? I've almost forgot.
ten the day when I got my last
suit"
I'm not q bit surprised" con.
ceded Phibbs. you've been buying
SO many suits lately that I know les
hard to remember whether It was
on last Wednesday or last Friday
that you got the last one. You
change the day when you make
your purchases every week, so l
suppose It is difficult to keep track.
But I want to tell you right now,
&; money Is the curse of civilization. I"
II can readily see that from your
. actions" agreed Mrs. Phibbs. "You
swear every time you have to pay
o bill"
) "And why shouldn't 1? Do you
think money grows on trees" de-
, manded the excitable Phibbs.
D Il don't know, but they do say
; money is the root Of evil" suggested
Amanda, whose sense Of humor
could never be questioned.
!. EVIL is right It's evil the way
; you throw money to the four winds.
, Why, money is SO scarce these days
people are paying high interest to
get it."
, "Yes," smiled the missus, Ego
right on. I'm doubly interested
now"
"And not only that" whispered
Phibbs almost like the hiss of a
soda fountain in action. thousands
OF people are starving for want of
It. I tell you. the Indians had the
RICH. idea. They had no money"
They must have had charge &C.
counts at the department stores.
then" said Amanda seriously.
(which is Just as good"
Department stores: Now what
would an Indian do with a depart.
ment store, ask you? The Indian
women weren't shop crazy like the
modern daughters Of Eve. They
didn't nee. any clothes at ALL"
"lt's easy to see, Mr.. Phibbs,"
said the missus frigidly. that the
Indian women, in that case, weren't
: perfect ladies'"
"How quick you are to Jump at
conclusions" scolded Phibbs. 81
didn't mean that the Indian women
went around without any clothes;
but If you'll only bear with me you'll
understand that they wore. animal
skins and other materials they wove
together themselves. They were
the most thrifty and economical
race Of people that ever lived. Do
you think high rents ever troubled
them?"
II shouldn't think It would" an.
swered Mrs. Phibbs gingerly. I've
never heard of on Indian landlord"
81. mo? Then I'll have to introduce
you to ours right away. He's the
greatest scalper I know. And he's
wild. too. Wild to raise rents. All
OF which is in line with what I am
telling you this morning that every
body today is money mad"
"And I suppose that includes
me, too. Just because I'm crazy for
Q new hat"
You're no exception" said
Fpthy icily.
That's Just what I'm trying to
drive home to you" returned the
missus with alacrity. "That I'm
no exception. Mrs. Smudge's hus-
band buys Mrs. Smudge a new hat
every once in q while, so why
can't your
II wouldn't mind buying you a
hat once in q while. but tho while
for new hats with you comes once
day too often. You women are
driving us men frantic with your
continued demands for money.
Can't you see that It means ulti-
mate disaster to all of us? / don't
v,ofod to,ltc. ,,o,v ana DbthA. Liza