The New York herald., 1921-06-19

like beer, hit tastes like beer ana MT sieHs
like beer. Hit des lacks de authority
And. having delivered this commentary
he swung his rake over his shoulder and dis
appeared through the garden gate whistiins
How Firm Foundation"
A FRIEND OF ours had very much the
u same feeling the other day. after an
an experience with dashing young
banker, that the old lady in Mother Goose"
must have had who woke up to find herself
in such dishevelled array that she exclaimed:
''Iaw< ha' mercy on us this is none o. l."
This banker undertook TO convince our
friend that he was not himself and he sue
ceeded. The poor fellow is now going
around aimlessly wondering who he is, be-
cause he must certainly be somebody even
is-he is not the person he has always thought
himself. 1t is something like the author
ship of Shakespeare's plays. Josh Billings
once settled the controversy by reaching
the conclusion that Shakespeare's plays
had not been written by William Shake
speare. but by another man of the same
name. So maybe that is the difficulty with
our friend. The chances are that he isn't
himself at all but another man of the same
name.
1t all came about through some one Civ
ing our friend, not to say our hero per-
feCtIN good cneck Tor small anounts iit
fooshly had the idea that he could get the
money on it without much difficulty, so he
ndorsed it and sent it up TO the bank by
the office boy, who was known there, or
who said he was. But there is rule or
something that prevented the office boy
from getting the money. So the office from
which the check issued telephoned the
bank, without results and then our poor
friend took his small check TO the bank
t.lI III
have the money, because he had not been
introduced.
He argued. and he is some arguer; he
bluffed and he is wicked at poker; he
fenced, and he is good with the foils. But
the banker had all these things, and I'm adj
dtion had not only the money but also had
acquired the habit OF saying mo" So 1t
was no use
Now what we can't understand is that
while the banker thoroughly convinced our
friend that he was not himself, the banker
also thoroughly convinced himself that our
friend was who he said he was. He knew
perfectly well, but he would not cash the
check because rule three or something had
to be complied with.
The pitiful part about the whole thing Is
that our friend had finally TO get his land
lord to identify him at another place. and
then having the money I'm his hand right
in front Of his landlord he just lost a
months rent
Never mind. our day will come when
they have women I'm charge of banks. II
would do no good To weep for the benefit OF a
male banker He would just laugh at you
and tell II on you that evening at the club
but married men know that tears are mighty
potent They just can't stand to see man
cry.
-HERE Is a firm over i'm Boston that
manufactures glass eyes. Now OF all
the businesses that we would not
think of going into. the glass eye business
takes the lead IL would seem to us that
one small factory could turn out in half a
dnv all the glass eyes that could be used In
the country during year.
We are totally unfamiliar with the eye
business and II may be. of course, that there
are different kinds OF eyes TO be worn on
different occasions, a gloomy eye. stern eye
merry eye, an eve for rainy days and ar
eye for days OF sunshine.
Speaking of glass eyes reminds us Of cork
Icyg nd of vorv cruoI folto that was once