davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-03-15

Two darkies in a negro regiment
were boasting about their company
buglars. "G'long wit you. boy"
said one; you amt got no booglers.
We IS got the boogler. and when
at boy warps his lip around that
horn and blows pay-call it sounds
les like that UNI Boston symphony
band playin' The Rosary"
well. If yo' Mkes musk they is
all right. but If yo' is yearnin' TO
food, yo' wants a boogler with an
hypnotic note like we is got. Boy,
when All hears old CustardMouth
Jones discharge his blast All looks
at nah beans and All says, Straw
berries. behave yo'selves! Yo' is
crowdin' the whip cream out o
nah DISH"
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-03-15
lNGROWN TOE NAIL
TURNS OUT ITSELF

A noted authority says that a few
drops of "Outgro" upon the skin sur
rounding the ingrowinz nail reduces
inflammation and pain and so
toughens the tender, sensitive skin
underneath the toe nail, that II car
not penetrate the flesh, and the nail
turns naturally outward almost over
night
"Outgro" Is a harmless, sntiseptic
manufactured for chiropodists. How
ever. anyone can buy from the drug
store a tiny bottle containing dIrec-
tons. ADV.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-03-15
Ignorant Essays
BY ]. P. McEVOY

go. He has quit the job. There IS
something magnificent about the
simplicity of this resignation. It is
HOmeric. 1t is epic.
Let Us consider a few more as
poets. Window-washing is a pro-
fession that requires long years Of
training and no end OF native ability.
Anybody can wash a window and it
will be clean, but only a born win
dow-washer can wash a window and
leave it looking as f it had never
been washed. That Is genius. That
is a gift. That. in short, Is window
washing.
And what are the compensations:
They are many. and not an to be
reckoned in kaBe or kudos. True
enough. as in the other professions.
the higher one goes the larger the
compensation. And while there is
plenty Of room at the top, or I
should say plenty OF rooms, there are
more at the bottom. It Is no pro-
fession for a gutter. A window
washer is like an aviator in that he
can fall down on his Job only once.
Also, it brings him into intimate
contact with the best people. The
window-washer has access to the
private offices Of the great as well as
the small-and on terms Of abso-
lutte equality. And finally, it is a
healthful occupation. for when it
becomes combining he can go out in
10 the open air.
Copyright, 1929
TYPICAL CONVERSATION.
You never can tell what's going to
happen to you-Tomorrow's "Ignor-
ant Essays on Life Insurance.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-03-15

nal disagreement. and while 1t gives the Morgan
Atterbury leadership freer rein temporarily in hand
ling the labor situation, IL does not indicate any
healing OF the breach. IN any the natural pro
cess CT procedure TO wages under the trans
portatIon law viii require at least two or three
1nths.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-03-15
The Tower Of Babel
.BY BILL ARMSTRONG
DRAW -FOUR SHORT

DRAW -FOUR SHORT
ONES. WATSON.
Friend Palmer tits the light wine
ban;
a swan song gift; a boon TO man.
It's changed the doctors mission
He once prescribed for pains and
Ills,
But now the men who pay his bills
Are sick with prohibition"
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-03-15

Frank Shumaker. Of the South
Bend Electric company, closed up
his electrical show at the Cham
Der of Commerce last night. Frank
SEE the next show he puts on will
probably be East Lynne"
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-03-15

Cal Coolidge-that New Englan
gent
Who is our new vice president
Has been right in the middle
OF public notice. Now he's due
To spend a term, or maybe two,
Just playing second fiddle.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-03-15
Naming no Names

Perhaps some Of the late cabinet
officers who bought and took away
their Official chairs viii now be able
10 have them cut down 10 fit them.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-03-15
HIGH SPOTS IN HISTORY.

Born 10 Mr.. and Mrs. ". II. Arm
strong at Findlay. o.. nine-pound
son answering 10 the name OF Will
Der Ray, March Is. 1892.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-03-15
FRANK JEFFERIES
BEFORE LEAVING HOME
To GO TO WORK.

II may have to work late tonight.
II I do, I'll telephone you at
o'clock. But when you hear the
bell. don't answer it-you will know
what it means, and I shall get my
nickel back"
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-03-15

Jake Heckaman SEE that if he is
elected mayor, South Bend will
have the best groomed bunch of
men Of any town in the country.
Jake plans to convert the first floor
Of the city hall into a barber shop
and manicuring parlor, it is rumor-
ed. Imagine the board of public
works holding an important meet
Ing, and Gil Elliott getting a neck
shave simultaneously.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-03-15
BRIEF NEWS OF THE CITY.

Frank ThorIe has returned from
Chicago, where he went in the in
terests of a proposed Canadian tour
Of the Colfax Avenue Glee club.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-03-15

John DeHaven has made con-
plant that this department has
been laying off him lately. 1t is
true but We've always been under
the impression John resented any
publicity for himself personally, or
any reference to his life insurance
business.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-03-15

OLD AND NEW.
In congress today, points Of honor
are decided by bets instead of by
pistols
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-03-15

Nelson Jones was late to work o
Monday, the result of getting hi
cutaway suit caught on fence pos
on Park av.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-03-15

The busiest guy in the world-a
public accountant helping a boot
legger fill out his income tax blank.
Whenever we see c. J. Cooper
talking to anybody we wonder how
long it'll be until he (not c. j. will
be under arrest.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1921-08-10
NOT REVISION BUT REDUCTION

(From the New York World
Nobody in Congress has good
word to say for the Administration s
tax-revision programme and it does
not deserve a good word
The Congressional objections, as
might be expected, are not directed
against the general inequalities and in
justice of the plan but are based on
the fear that if these taxes are voted
a great many Republican Senators and
Representatives will be retired to
private life after the elections of 1922.
Z Evidently Secretary Mellon did not
take that phase of the case into con-
sideration. Assuming an expenditure
OF $4,60O,000 900 on the part of the
Government, he set out to find the
money regardless of political conse-
quences.
The fault does not rest so much with
Mr.. Mellon as with Congress and the
Administration in general Why
should the Government of the United
States be spending $4,e0O,0OG,00O a
year? 1t was not spending quarter
of that amount previous to the war and
lit ought not to be spending more than
half OF that amount now
What the country is demanding is
not revision of taxation but re-
duction of taxation, and the instincts
OF the country are sound. Private
individuals are compelled by circum-
stances to curb their expenditures.
They are driven back by sheer ne
cessity to pre-war basis in so far as
1t is possible of attainment, yet the
Government stubbornly refuses to rec
ognize any restraints.
Revising taxes may help few in
dividuals but it will not meet the
problem, nor can the country be ben
Gifted by lifting the burdens from the
rich and transferring them to the poor
and the moderately well-to-do. The
trouble lies with the amount of money
that the Government is taking away
from the American people and devot-
ing to productive uses. No matter
where it finds its $4,000, 900 900, every
dollar of it must first be earned by
hard labor. Somebody must dig it
out of the ground before the Govern
ment seizes it, and digging out $4,000
100000 does not happen to be so sim
pie task as voting appropriation bills.
Any scheme of taxation which takes
$4,600,000.000 out of the pockets of
the American people in the present
condition of industry is iniquitous, and
no Congress that provides for such
colossal expenditures can ever defend
it's action except on the ground that it
is mentally and politically irresponsi
BILE. If Congress is displeased with
the Mellon schedules, and it has every
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1921-08-10
SECRETARY MELLON'S FRANTIC
EFFORTS to HELP THE RICH

Treasurer Mellon undoubtedly feels
indebted to the owners of great wealth
and to those who are making excess
profits out of the business in which
they are engaged, on account of the
ltmillions which those interests con-
tributed to his party's campaign fund
last year. But when he attempts to
pay that deep Indebtedness by trans
fer Of the burdens of government from
the shoulders Of those big campaign
contributors to the shoulders of the
consuming masses he is making a
monstrously unjust attempt.
Secretary Mellon says, place a tax
of $40 on every automobile, but re-
lieve the men who are making excess
profits from the payment Of taxes
thereon.
Secretary Mellon says, increase let
ter postage from two to three cents,
but reduce the surtax on the incomes
of the rich.
Secretary Mellon favors sales tax,
which is tax that would reach the
poorest person in the country. He
also favors tax on bank checks and
taxes on many other things that would
fall upon practically everyone
So far as we have been able to
learn, Secretary Mellon does not
claim that present revenue laws will
not provide the necessary revenue, but
from his view point something must
be done to help out the rich, to help
get back to the good old days when
the rich paid very little Of the ex-
penses Of the Federal Government. In
any event, if the revenue laws which
produced sufficient revenue when will
son was president are insufficient for
present day needs, then their in
sufficiency must be due to conditions
brought about by the Harding admin
istration. Conditions resulting from
the refusal of the Federal Reserve
Banks to supply the producers Of the
country with sufficient funds to prop
erly transact their business, and the
|. y = "A
adoption of foreign policy destructive
OF our foreign markets. These state
ments find ample support in the fact
that Canada has not suffered from a
business depression like this country,
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1921-08-10
SALVATION ARMY ORGANIZES
LOCAL COMMITTEES

Commandant Alfredo Swanson of
/ the Salvation Army headquarters of
Des Moines was in Manchester for sew
eral days last week cooperating with
the local committee in perfecting the
reorganization of the Delaware County
committee of the Salvation Army and
discussed plans of operation for the
coming year with the committee at a
meeting held in Theo. Shelly's par
| lors on Friday evening.
After discussing many phases of the
work the following officers were Sc
lected for the coming year:
Chairman, Dr. H. A. Dittmer
Vice Chairman, Chas. Mccormick
Secretary, w. a. Ottilie
Assistant Secretary, J. P. Sloan
Treasurer, F. E. Dutton.
Publicity Committee
H. L. Ram and Fred W. Hermann.
Members of the Board
DR.. H. A. Dittmer, F. E. Dutton, F.
w Hermann, Chas. Mccormick, A. j.
Gildner, H. G. Utley, H. L. Ram, w.
A. Ottilie, Burton Clark, j. P. Sloan,
Theo. Shelly, Judge G. w. Durham, Nj.
". Yoran, A. D. Brown
The following constitute the mem
bers on the board from the various
townships:
Colony, Fred Klaus,
Honey Creek, r. J. Bixby and Mr..
Stucci
Elk, DR.. Kresensky,
Richland, Frank Larrabee,
Oneida, S. T.. Knox and Buel Dun
ham
Earlville, Rev. Suckow,
Delaware Township, Albert Retz,
Manchester, first ward, A. o. Stranger
Manchester, second ward, M. |. b.
Richmond,
Manchester, third ward, Sam Way
and C. l.. Adams.
Collins Grove, Fred Ferguson,
Delhi, Fred Doolittle,
North Fork, j. c. Nieman,
Milo, A.. E. File,
South Fork, w. S. Beels and F. E.
Williamson,
Union, Harry B. Sill,
Hazel Green, Frank Clark, Crystal
Brothers.
Adams, Arthur McEnany.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1921-08-10
KEEPING THE DANUBE OPEN

Washington Post: Yet another
measure which will contribute not a
little to the peace % nations came into
force a few days ago, when the con-
vention internationalizing the River
Danube was signed at Paris. There is
probably in the whole world no more
noble stream than the great waterway
of southeastern Europe. From the
point where it comes into life at a
small spring in the gardens of the pal
ace of Count Egon Won Fuerstenberg
at Donaueschingen to the delta where
it empties, into the Black sea at Con-
stanza, the Danube flows through six
countries-Germany Austria, Czecho-
Sloyaha, Hungary, Jugo-Slavia and
Rumania. 1t is navigable almost from
its source to its mouth and has more
than 400 tributaries, of which more
than 100 are navigable.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1921-08-10
WORLD ASKED TO
AID HUNGRY RUSS
Pope Issues Appeal to All Nations
to Help Feed Starving
People.
MILLIONS ARE FACING DEATH
F. L. Thompson, in Charge Of Brest-
Litovsk District Of American Re-
lief Administration, Tells Of
Frightful Conditions.

Rome, Aug. 10.-Pope Benedict has
instructed Cardinal Gasparri to pro-
coed Immediately to organize relief
measures for the people of Europe.
| Cardinal Gasparri, who is the papal
secretary of state, has been directed
| to lay the matter before the govern
ments of various nations for prompt
and eflicacious common action "in the
name of The Divine Redeemer, who gave
! His blood to make us all brothers"
The pope's letter implores aid for
the millions of men in the basin OF
| the Volga, who are facing the most
terrible death, invoking succor from
humanity.
"This people, the letter continues,
although separated from us by bar
riers raised by long centuries. are,
because of their calamity, near our
paternal heart.
Lenin Makes Appeal.
New York, Aug. 10.-Premier Lenin
Of soviet Russia has issued an appeal
for famine aid from the tOiling in
dustrial workers and agriculturists Of
oil countries" said a cable message
from the Russian telegraph agency at
Moscow, received by the publication
Soviet Russia.
Tell FrightfuI Stories.
London, Aug. Thousands Of Rus
sian refugees are pouring into Brest-
Litovsk-2,000 d day--many crawling
on hands and knees, too weak to stand.
and scores dying in dugouts along the
roads.
An appalling picture Of the desola-
ton, death and devastation in the fam
inc areas In Russia is given by f. L.
Thompson, in charge of the Brest-
Litovsk district for the American re-
lief administration and the European
children's fund, who arrived here last
night.
"No one who hasn't seen suffering
said he, "can imagine how CHASTITY it
is. So awful are the hunger pangs
that the bodies become swollen and
bloated, and the cheeks are puifed
out. This stage is the prelude of death,
which the sufferers say is the happiest
stage of all. Women and children as
well as men are to be seen in this
pitiable condition. They have dragged
themselves UP to me, begging for PEN
MES and food.
Eat Mud for Bread.
sat one place came across ten
families, formerly among the wealth.
lest, who We're living on bread made
from grass, mud and straw Thou
sands of others are existing on grass,
which is boiled with roots in water
In order to make a thin soup. If
acorns are available, these are added.
.The Bolshevist sentries in out-of-
the-way places are in rags and are
subsisting on the fish they catch or in
some other primitive fashion.
1.-THE country is overrun with YER
min," continued Mr.. Thompson, "and
thousands of people must be dying
daily. Here and there you find old
estates. At one of them had tea
with several princes. There was black
bread and a priced possession was a
little bowl of sugar. 1t was not until
after that / recalled was the only
one to take sugar, which probably was
very valuable. The tea was likely the
only meal of the day."
d r. +. ( . . E. If . i
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1921-08-10
COCOON HARVEST HOME PRO-
GRAM

| . {.
The following is the program fol-
the Coggon Harvest Home to be held
on Friday, August 10th:
1000 a. m.-Music by Dyersville
Concert band in public square.
1920 a. m.-March to city park.
Music by band.
Song by quartette.
Invocation-Rev ID. d. Wagner.
Address of Welcome Mayor A. j
Vinton.
Song by quartette
Address-Dr. Gage, President of Coe
College
1900 o'clock--Dinner
1.30 p. m.-Assemble at Legion Park.
Music by band and high class vaude-
vile.
2:3o-Base Ball, Ryan vs. War
fields of Cedar Rapids.
Minor Sports-Barrel Race, boys IA
years and under, 1st $3.50; End S1.00.
Girls foot race, IA years and under,
1st, $1.25. End, 75c Boys foot race
IA years and under, LIST, S1.25; End 75c.
Watermelon eating contest, Ia years
and under, 1st $1.00; End Soc Sack
race, IA years and under, 1st s1.O0
End soc. Horse Shoe pitching contest,
winning two men team $500, End $500.
Evening Band concert and free en-
tertainment at Public square
The days program will close with
big Harvest Home Dance at the
Opera House, with music by the Fa-
NOUS Ragabonds of Waterloo Tick
cts to dance $1.O0 plus war tax.
Admission to the ball game, vaude-
vile and sports at Legion Park, soc,
including tax.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1921-08-10

The League OF Nations goes right
along clearing the way for world
peace. One of its committees recent
ly succeeded in internationalizing the
Danube River. That means that this
greatest of European rivers can here
after be used the same as an ocean,
not alone by all of the nations through
which it flows, but by all nations and
by all peoples.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1921-08-10

of other people. He is much broader,
possibly, because of the greater OPP
portunity he has had for study and de-
velopment in other lands, but he knows
his people well and how not TO offend
their somewhat narrow notions. For
example, SHUTS is fond of card-play-
ing-old fashioned Withstand at times
INDUCES in this quite innocent pro-
clivity. Yet when photographer re-
quested permission to photograph a
quartet at whist at which he was one
he held up his hands in horror.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1921-08-10

right to be displeased, the answer is
not new form of manipulation, but
downright. bed rock economy that will
relieve labor and industry and give
the American people a chance to get
on their feet.
Not revision but reduction! If Con-
gress does not know that by this time,
it knows nothing.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1921-08-10

The revenue program now under
consideration at Washington proposes
a transfer of taxes from the rich to
the poor and to fairly well-to-do. That
may be in keeping with prediction
promises made last year, but the
parties to those promises had better
call them off. There will be other
elections next year.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1921-08-10

If Secretary of The Treasury Mellon
can explain to the congressman how
they can hold their jobs, and at the
same time exempt his rich friends from
paying taxes on their excess profits,
his recommends will be adopted.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1921-08-10
II Has a Certain influence.

Perhaps it is true that money never
made man great, but it has caused
people to forget many mans little
ness.
Five Mile Beach weekly journal., 1921-04-29
Cape May County Has
Good Roads

The report of the Investigators APP
pointed by the Supreme Court charges
the Cape May County Board of Free
holders with many unlawful acts, and
effort is icing made to have the mem
bers of the board indicted by the Grand
Jury. Irregularities and violations Of
law are charged, and Justice Black adj
vised the Grand Jury to find true bills.
Collision between members Of the
board and contractors is alleged, and
careless management and ineficiency
are charged.
While it is proper that the matter
should be thoroughly Investigated, it is
hoped that the charge of wrong-doing
will not be shown. Cape May county
has built exceptional roads, so good in
fact that they have drawn favorable
comment from all who travel over
them. The cost has been high and the
county has been bonded close to the
legal limit. Good roads, however, will
not shield criminal acts, If any are
proven.-Elmer Times.
Five Mile Beach weekly journal., 1921-04-29
To Test strenqth of Material.

1t is very desirable to be able to
test the strength of a piece of mate
rial before purchasing it. To de- this,
examine the raveled threads Of the
cloth and notice how the warp threads
compare in strength with the wool or
filling threads. A fine warp will not
stand the strain from a heavy filling
thread. Therefore materials woven
in this way are not strong, neither
are those which have a heavy cord
In beside a very fine thread.
Five Mile Beach weekly journal., 1921-04-29
ATTENTION!
Wives, Mothers, Sisters of
All EX-SerVice Men

The Byron Pennington Croker Post,
American Legion, is putting forth
every effort to organize a Ladies'
Auxiliary, to work with the local post
along social lines.
Any mother, wife or sister is eligible
to become a member, and steps have
already been taken to organize. Any
one who is eligible and interested in
this worthy cause is requested to COM
municate with or see Mrs. James Wood,
1O1 Juniper avenue and the railroad,
who will be glad to explain the manner
and method of joining.
1t Is hoped every mother, wife n
sister will join and help make the local
post one of the best, if not the best, in
the county. Ocean City, Cape May,
Tuckahoe, Woodbine and Cape May
Court House will soon have their aux
iliaries organized. and it is hoped
Wildwood will not be the last to have
a ladies' auxiliary.
Five Mile Beach weekly journal., 1921-04-29
What Makes Fog.

London is famous for its fogs. Why's
Because, for n reason, London is a
city. Cities make smoke, and smoke
makes fog. Doubtless London fogs
are much thicker and more prevalent
nowadays than a century ago. The
city is much bigger, and there is more
smoke. A fog is formed by the con-
densation of moisture upon smoke
particles and dust particles suspended
In the atmosphere. The mor smoke
and dust, the greater the liability to
the formation of fog, each particle
furnishing a nucleus for moisture
when conditions are right. Thus, as a
city gains in population, fogs become
more frequent.
Five Mile Beach weekly journal., 1921-04-29
Marriage Without a courtshlp.

When a New Guinea woman falls
in love with a man she sends a piece
of string to his sister, or, if he has
no sister, to his mother or another of
his lady relatives. Then the lady who
receives the string tells the favored
man that the particular woman is in
love with him. No counting follows,
however, for it is considered beneath
a New Guinea mans dignity to waste
time in such pursuit. If the man
thinks he would like to wed the lady,
he meets her alone, and they decide
whether to marry or drop the idea.
Five Mile Beach weekly journal., 1921-04-29
Burns Wore Biz Hat.

A Scottish antiquarian has been
making inquiries of a London halter
with a large clientele Of men Of the
intellectual classes" as to the size Of
hat that must have been worn by
Robert Burns, whose skull measure
ment was 22H inches. 1t seems that
81 is the size for so considerable a
girth. According to the same "intel-
lectual" halter, Sir Walter SCOTS hat
was a full 65, his head circumference
being 20H inches. A Dumfries halter
says no Dumfries man among his GUS
toners takes Burns size In hats nova
days. From hats like these auld Sco-
tia's grandeur sprang.