Indiana daily times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1914-1922, 1921-07-22
LONG WHISPERS
ADORN SPEEDER
COURT EXCUSES
Judge Pritchard Of Municipal
Tribunal C0nfeSses 'CheS-
nuts Get on Nerves.
Rv NAVEL WHEELER.

Wanted-One brand new guarnn-
teed excuse for speeding. DO not
want any moth eaten. second hand
article. Nothing considered b1t up
tO-date. rust-proOf mOdels.-O. Z.
Speeder.
Owing to the sameness Of the time hon
cred excuses offered IN police court by
speeders, there IS real opportunity for
some ingenious mind 20 advance some
thing new. There Is no doubt that the
monotony of said reasons submitted Why
the motorist was hitting 1t up pail on
the police Judge and mostly have lest
any effect that perhaps they once pos
sessed. Hundreds Of speedometers have
proved the motor cop 10 have been alb
solutely "all off when it c9nes TO meas
uring time. Fifteen miles, Judging by
courtroom speed chatter is as fast as
spedeometers can go. 80 doubt If some
enterprising young culprit would an
nounce that his speedometer registered
eighty miles an hour and that the po-
uceman was entirely too slow in report
ing but thirty-1ye the shock and nov
city Of the situation might cause the
Judge to show leniency.
SPEEDING EXCUSES
MOSTLY CHEsTNLTS.
In our local court there are hun dreds
of eases Of speeding and only about
four standard ,eXcuses, which show plain
Is that the dem 3hd over whelming!y ex-
ceeds the supply. Rushing sick friends
to the doctor has been used so often
that the only way to make any impress
sion IN court would be to produce the
friend, bleeding and battered, or exhibit
him on a stretcher. there seems to be
an unlimited number Of liling friends in
the, world.
Jud waller Pritchard Of the munici-
pal court says that no speeder has ever
speeded unless in a case Of life and death,
according to the stories told him. Doe
tors, % course, when Grreste dhaye one
q. ,ral standardized excuse, hurrying TO
the bedside Of a dying patient. Travel
ing men are always making trains and
the general public either has a speedom-
eter which "unbeknOwnest" to its own
or until arrested, is out Of order or one
that is absolutely perfect proving be
yOnd a doubt that the motor cop ma
liciOusly arrested an innocent law abid-
ing mOtOrist or that the police speed
ometer was registering incorrectly.>
CULPRIr THOUGHT
HOUSE ON FIRE.
one culprit did spring a new one the
other day, according to the Judge. lie
stated that be saw the fire engine dash
ing up the street il the direction of his
house and he was seized with a violent
bunch" that it was his home on fire. So
he stepped on his accelerator recklessly
in order to get home in time to rescue
his family and belongings. OF course "
the time he appeared in court 1t had
been ascertained that the scene Of the
fire was far removed from the speeder's
domicile.
The judge admits that he gets pain
fully tired Of hearing the same old eX
cuses over and again, for it is only rarely
that he gets a var alton like a fire or a
motorist fleeing from an enemy with
Shotgun. Youthful speeding clippers es
Gaping from the clutches Of hard hearted
parents have been known to have
softening effect on the judges callOused
heart.
Therefore, if some inventive mind can
compound high-class strongly built well
fortified excuse for speeding it would
be well worth while to try it on the
Judge. An excellent idea for a live wire
salesman would be to give with each car
sold one plausible, invulnerable excuse to
be served up when needed