The Coconino sun., 1921-09-30
CHEERFUL CHIRPS
 By "DEL~
(By "DEL.")
Mostly nonsense those intervals when real idea
 comes along and is grabbed off,

back before Volstead was heard of when an old-timer who has since passed away leaned up against the corner of building now occupied by Jep Starkey's pool-hall and let it all come up. Presently bracing himself up, he looked down at his feet. There stood dog suspiciously eyeing the mixture the old-timer had been eating and dringing during the previous few hours. The old-timer soliloquized:
 q remember all right where l got the cheese, an l know where 1 got the sauerkraut, but damme if 1 know where 1 got that dog" Then he fell down. Some of his friends helped him up, and he asked:
 "Was anyone killed?"
 "How, killed?"
 "Why, l was hangin' on to that buildin' when the damn thing fell down."
 A Flagstaff man who had been read ing one of Senator Ashurst's speeches, which had been kindly printed at gov ernment expense and franked to him at the governments expense by the senator, said the speech reminded him of the famous one General Nye once made in the senate, in which he said:
 Mir Speaker, the generality of man kind in general is disposed to exercise oppression on the generality of man. kind in general" and one of the other senators interrupted with:
 You'd better stop, General, you are coming out of the same hole you went in att
 Which reminds us of an after din ner speaker we once heard in Atlantic City, who, just after the mayor had finished talking and handing the keys of the city over to the gentlemen as sembled, feelingly remarked
 "I am glad to be called upon to respond on behalf of the assembled delegates to this cordial welcome on behalf of Atlantic City, because the people of Atlantic City are such a great people, such growing people, and such an advancing people-and l come within the bounds of truth when I say that the people of Atlantic City are all superior-superior ('To each other said man sitting by the or ator's side)-yes, as the gentleman re- marks, superior to each other"
 John Francis says the laziest man he ever saw was so lazy he put one of his eyes out to save the trouble of winkin when out gunnin'.
 Dr. Raymond and A. Stockton Hem derson had been exchanging remin- iscences. "How one thing brings up another," Henderson remarked. "Yes," replied the doctor, "An emetic, for instance"
 Dear Chirps: How can l cure my husband of using tobacco?
 Give him morphine. But you may have to chop your own wood.
 Some men can get away with most anything. Saw Clarence Sullivan the other day break the bones in George Herrington's chops, wrap up Dr. Schermann's ribs and slice off Billy Friedlein's liver.
 Getting back to normalcy seems to be increasing the registration at our normal schools.
 Teddy bears prevent them being quite so bare. Try to bear it boys.
 Harry Gray tells of friend of his who carried bottle of Old Taylor into his office and during the course of couple of hours drank it all up. Coming out on the street after he had completed his pleasant task, he found himself pretty wobbly. His walk became more and more uncer- tain; then, all of sudden, he fell all over himself.
 With difficulty picking himself up, he began brushing off the dirt, when, glancing up, he saw policeman standing about twenty feet away.