The Washington times., 1921-07-31
Washington Wig Ways
Signaled by Tiller
tCopyrishI 1891. by Theodore riIisr,

Longworth. Colonel Roosevelt never
did know why his story of adven-
ture brought only laughter from his
guests. Longworth had done q per.
feet limitation" as they say on the
stage
Congressman Longworth IL quite
wealthy and has been all his life.
He doesn't need to work, but likes
politics and so works hard as .
member of the House and its fmpor-
tsnt Ways and Means Committee.
He knows a great deal about tariff
and has done real studying over 1t.
When Mich Longworth was .
younger man and beer gardens were
not outlawed by the volstead act he
dropped into a Cincinnati beer gar.
den one evening with party OF
friends Longworth Is an accom-
plished player of the piano. The hour
was getting late Longworth looked
around and saw that he was net
recognized by any of the few persons
remaining so decided 10 walk over to
the piano and tickle the worries"
q bit.
Longworth, bald headed as many
of the beer garden professors were
in those days. played just as ener-
getically as though he had been en-
gagged by the place. His selections
ranged from musical classics to jazz.
Eventually a somewhat inebriatsd
young man came by and dropped .
one dollar bill on the piano.
Here's a dollar. professor" said
the stranger You play - well.
and / like to help these professors
along"
Then he passed into the night.
Longworth kept the dollar a long
time as a souvenir TO show he could
|, earn a living playing the piano II it
ever became necessary.
Apparently no story 10 too Old to
be used in a tariff debate in Con-
gress. CONGRESSMAN Joseph w.
Fordney of Michigan related q yarn
last week that brought laughter in
the House, although Congressman
Finis J. Garrett OF Tennessee. the
political foe of Mr.. Fordney said IL
was at least sixty years old.
Congressman Fordney. who believes
In protection and il the father Of the
new taraiff bill. was ridiculing per.
sons who spoke against q duty on
long staple cotton.
Every time a man speaks against
duty on so important q product oil
this country az long staple cotton
said Fordney. 1t reminds me of an
old colored man down in Mississippi
who went hunting with his son. They
had but one gun between them an!
the boy carried that. They saw &
squirrel run up q tree and wer,
looking for it. The old man was on
one side OF the tree and the boy on
the other. The old man had YER
long bushy eye brows. The sun wa
shining brightly and the old ma
called to the boy and said:
Come here, boy. quick. Loo
over there. Don't you see there is
bear half as big as a COW up Ia
tree?"
The boy looked up the treee ar
then at his father. and replie1
That amt any bear, it's . flea
your eyebrow"
The moral Of the story In not TO
magnify the tariff rate on any ayr.
cultural product. At this point Con.
gresham Garraett labeled the story
as an ancient one by asking:
When did the gentleman iron
Michigan refresh his memory uy
reading Lincoln's speeches?'
Il don't just understand what you
said" responded Mr.. Fordney.
II say the story which the gentle
man told is one Of Abraham
Lincoln's."
Congressman Fordney grfnned ard
said he hoped Mr.. Garrett would not
occupy any more Of his. Fordneys
allotted time, but would tell story
in his own time. Despite its ag,
however. the Fordney Lilrcoln
story got a hand from the House
membership.