The Butler weekly times and the Bates County record. (Butler, Mo.) 1918-1950, 1921-05-26

worthy. Jim
Honeybug Is good story-teller, and he
q was telling us a bully yarn, and for
a brief season we forgot the burdens
laid upon us, which are greater than
we can bear If you could tell story
as we'll as Honeybug does, I'd flll these
ancestral halls with silvery laughter.
but you never try to say anything
amusing, Mrs. Jamesworthy. You do
tell Stories hut they are of gloomy
and tragic character.
last night, when came home, you
told dramatic story to the effect that
you had callers all afternoon, and
hadn't chance to cook anything for
me, and so had to eat canned salmon
and soda crackers, and wash them
down with water, and insist that
when husband comes home from his
arduous labors in the changing mart,
so empty that his watch chain makes a
clanking sound when 1t flaps against
his spine, he should have warm VIC
tuals, something he can consume with
pleasure and pride. The fact that you
had an Invasion of callers is cheap
excuse.
"My sainted mother never would
have permitted any callers to interfere
with her management of the cook
stove. She realized that her old man
kept the shebang going. and that he
should have the right of way. II any
old honc hopDopod to no IN tho ho,,eo
when grub time approached, my moth
er would request them, firmly but re-
specially, to chase themselves. and II
they didn't like 1t they could lump it.
When my father came home from his
work. the hay was always In the
manager for him. and he never had to
wait five minutes for meal.
1.-THE day before yesterday. when !
came staggering home, faint and
weary from my herculean efforts to
make both ends meet. You told me an.
other story. It was to the effect that
you had been downtown sizing Up
shipment Of new spring hats. just re-
seived at the millinery foundry. and
you were so interested you forgot the
lapse Of time. and didn't get home In
time to cook anything. But you flashed
q winning smile at me. anc said 1t
wouldn't take you ten minutes to warm
up q can Of beans, and there was some
cold coffee left from breakfast, and You
had plenty Of smoked behring's on
hand.
Doubtless I should have burst forth
into botster0us laughter over this en-
pertaining anecdote, but somehow 1t
didn't appeal to my sense Of humor.
I was so busy that day hadn't time
to eat anything at noon. and all the
way home was hoping you would
have q porterhOuse steak about three
inches thick. and a raft Of boiled po-
tatoes, and perhaps a slab of mince
pie as an epilogue
"The day before that. when I came
home as hollow as bass drum. and
fairly gnashing my teeth with hum
ger. you related a humorous story to
the effect that your club didn't adjourn
on time that afternoon, and you didn't
get home until late. so would have
to get along with a picked-up supper.
II I would be patient a few minutes,
you said, to make the story seem more
spicy, you would boil an egg for me.
!; and there was cold corn bread In the
cupboard.
"Such stories, Mrs. Jamesworthy.
may seem highly amusing to an limo
cent bystander, and I have no doubt
they would make q great hit II written
MP and printed In London Punch. but
seAers IL something wrong with my
ssnse Of humos, or am at the wrong
end Of the stories. Anyhow, I can't
gurgie over them - I do over Honey.
hugs yarns"