Mountain Home Republican. [volume] (Mountain Home, Idaho) 1915-1946, 1921-07-23

hhlt ne was SUN IN IunuS nc
bought himself a wooden khaki over
coat with one OF those enormous col
lars which look like an inverted
bucket when they are up and surpass
in efficiency the traditional black mask
so beloved by illustrators Of the week
~ press. He also had q speaking slot
cut in the glass of the cab window
Just behind his best a and subse-
quently removed and lost the slide
that had been fitted we 1t with CEN
siderable skill and trouble.
During the next few nights he pro-
ceeded 10 have the time Of his life so
much so that ne was constantly over
whelmed with wonder at his stupidity
In not having become a taxi-driver
years before! 1t should be remem-
bered that Mr.. Randolph was OF New
York Yorky he knew everybody cas-
ually, from Mr.. Milyuns and his
daughter, Eileen, down to the latest
addition to the pitiful ranks Of the
midinette. More than that, so broad
was his acquaintanceshlp that as a
sporting gent he had nee or twice
been tipped off as to the where and
when of a propose gun-play.
In addition to being by right of birth
an integral part of all the social strata
OF Manhattan, he knew the surface of
the island and of the adjacent com
moner soil of the mainland consid-
| Otsn11xy ltnftnc = no 1a tyxnxt, AkO aIn
of his own hand. In fact, he could
scarcely ever have been conscious that
he had a palm, eve as a map Of per-
sonal fortune; for he who Is complete
ly satisfied with the present never
worries about the future and Mr.. Ran
dolph had been born content.
With such an equipment, is 1t to be
wondered at that he found the taxi
field rich with unexpected and sur
prising blooms? Fair flowers, he mad
known heretofore to nod only over tea
tables and solid silver appeared sud
denly transplanted % his cab and
ready to nod on a stalwart shoulder.
Strong male tiger-liiies of the money
market, grated to the cushions of a
taxi, BECAME complacent pillars upon
which some clinging ivy twined.
In six nights he learned the sound
that a banker makes when slender
fingers tickle him under the chin; the
gasp of a girl, f~irst-kissed the cry of
q young NAH upon discovering the alb
sence Of grandfather's gol1 wat-h, his
since graduation day; the cluck of a
top-hat fairly sat upon In the excite
ment of n moment that else would
have been tragic, the exasperating tap,
tap, tap, of a %hen-pecking tongue that
explained and eondoned a murder mys-
terry in the next mornings papers, and
the sob of a ruined youngster who had
played with borrowed money,
All these incidents took place with
people whom Mr.. Randolph knew or
knew of aud just to show what an ex-
tremely honest young man he was, let
It he said thatit did not once occur to
him that he need never be poor while
humanity. supposedly in good stand
ing. continued to lay itself open to
hlackmail at the rate OF a case a night.
AT the same time, he vas not stupid
and occasionally tapped out a missive
loaded with dynamite on the garage
typewriter when no one was around.
Here is a sample.
"Mr. P~oindexter MacGuler, Sir: AS
was driving you and Miss B. B.
larst night who was foster-m0thered
by an aunt of q friend Of a friend of
mine. | heerd you talkin to her and
all | got to say is If I see you out
with her again short OF the bands of
matrimony I'll get another friend OF
mine to get Mr.. Robert Herv RAN
dolph to tell what he knows about
Won cheaten at cards on Dec. % last"
Nights that gave birth in the Morn
ing TO such fliterary tit-bits duld
scarcely be called dull, but II was not
long before Mr.. Randolph found him.
self threatened by an unexpected mo-
notonous employment. Unfortunately
for his entertainment, his reputation
as the one par excellence ST. E.ernard
lifesaver to the inebriate elite spread
RAPIDLY throughout the Force so that
the telephone was constantly burdened
during the. wee hours with the follow
ing: "Say. Is Sim Hervey IN the Job?
Well, when he comes IN tell lin I got
another tailor-model drunk here what
has lost his home address from his
mind"
With suspicious suddenness MIR.
Randolph proceeded to forget half his
school and eliminates and cold"blooded-
ly leave them to their fate and a
night out. not without coming to grief
on at least one occasion, however
"What are you comm over me| de-
manded the irate captain Of the Nth
precinct. "You amt forgot that you
was vally to h. II. Randolph for sever
years, have va? Has all his n ems
gene on the wagon?"
IT looked like a loop-hole. Sure
said Slim Hervey promptly. "His
clubs near busted what with water.
drinkers and softs."