Mountain advocate., 1921-05-06

the model visitor. II | had my own
household. with charming bride to
pour The imitation coffee, and a vine
and figtree in a jardiniere. I'd send a
special delivery letter to James, ask
ing him to come and stay for ten years
or more.
There's something restful and
soothing about that gifted man. He
never boilers anybody. No one has
TO waste precious moments entertain
ing him. II isn't necessary to discuss
the weather predictions, or dig up u
lot Of statistics about the crops, In
order TO make james have a good time.
You don't have to show him the old
plush photograph album, and describe
the ancestry of the melancholy efligies
whose pictures appear therein. Near
ly all visitors are bores, my dear Mrs.
Jlggers, because they have to be en-
tertrned. Somebody has to sit up
with them and thrash out last years
2ossip. They have no initiative or
referendum. They have no resources
uf their own. In order to have a pleas
'iit Nioltt AhS9 biNNu AANips
Your cousin James is a man after
my own heart. / remember his last
visit quite well. He came In the eve
ming, and after supper he took chair
on the porch. Knowing he was n
guest, l felt Il my duty to entertain
him in the conventional way.
dragged my chair close up to his and
F. 11.aaE
ming, but the presence Of cloud bank
in the northwest almost convinced me
that there would b. rain within twelve
hours. in which case. l proceeded,
there would be much jubllatiOn among
the honest old farmers, whose crops
were suffering for moisture.
James listened to my remarks and
then looked at me, in sad, reprOach-
full way. as though he thought it a
shameful thing that imhecileS should
be at large, and then he took his chair
TO the oppy,i;" esd Of the porch with
out having said q word. ! must con-
fcSs that | felt HE Il counterfeit
kopcck ggr g few minutes. but thc
more ! considered the matter, the
more | admired ard respected that
remarkable man.
"He used to 20 downtown every
morning and buy paper backed
novel, or Il fiction magazine, and then
he'd read it all day and when he was
done with his literature ne lett Il
where the buNrdcrS could GET it,
didn't hear him say ten words during
his visit, yet you say, Mrs. Jiggors
that he Is an unsatisfactory guest.
Elderly lardIadics, whose intelIects
have been warped by long years of
parslmOny. are hard to please.
Jeremiah, whom YOU describe as
Jolly and agreeable should be sup
pressed. he has collected all the old
cheCsey stories over manufactured,
and Insists UnGn telling them. re has
a horrible habit ct making puns, ana
considers himself numuriSt. be-
cause of il. You cOulGn't hribc him 10
sit down with q h"ol; ar magazine ana
behave himself lie has to be enter
taincd every minute of his time, ana
the only way y0d can entertain him
Is by letting him do the entertaining.
"Ie is Il genial old freak VINO thinks
he is a privileged character, and every
body's pet. The last time he was here
he went into nay sUmptuOus apart
mcnt and used my razor TO shave the
southeast quarter section OF his
countenance. III. whlskers are full
of harbed wire, and the razor was
ruined When / spoke 10 him about
II he thought Il funny. Yet you refer
to such man as au agreeable visi-
for. / blush for you, Mrs. Jiggers."