The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1921-03-25
FILTHY LUCRE!

File on your wealth!
Your filthy, suspicious wealth,
Made up with pItiful slick dimes
| And cauhercd cents,
/ And GRUMPY two-dollar bills
Torn at the corners,
And reeking with germs!
File on your wealth.
l am richer by far than you!
What tho l scrimp and pinch and
scheme,
Only to draw form my pockets
Bits of fuzz, crumpled paper,
And broken knife;
Where money ought to be?
What tho clerks in banks, dis
dainful,
View my checks with furtive scorn ?
| am richer by far than you!
l breathe deep, Gods free, pure
| air
Into mighty lungs
That swell and bulge
This deep, round chest of mine!
| | have health, have friends,
| have hard, sweet toll to do,
And greatest of all, have Love,
Love, and Hope, and Promise!
| am richer by far than you!
| File on your wealth!
| Ill gotten, perhaps, and filthy!
Pittances from calloused hands,
And tribute wrung by schemes
From weaker minds!
File on your wealth! .
(But | wish | had some of IT'D
If clergymen had to Glove, honor,
and obey" every woman they marry,
they could preach with more fervor
on the theme 90 grave where is thy
victory; o death where is thy sting!"
Prohibition has been Tapping it's
austere wings for more than year
now, but we don't see any decrease
in the crop of crimson shouts.
If the artists in New Hope want
some real "still life" subjects to paint
let them go to Lambertville on Sun
day.
Every time we think of Adam, we
feel sorry for him that he didn't have
any boyhood in which to sow wild
oats"
The average cold timer" wants to
learn the secret of how tea kettle
can sing when it is merely full of
water.
The average OF demands a lot
,o,o,,o +bo1, +bo+ 70 aLa HIM sing
You tell 'em, Bath Tub! You've
seen it all. (B. k.)
An old poem says: Il reach, and
reach, but cannot grasp"
That must have been written at
boarding house table!
TEACHER OF MUSIC" says an
advertisement.
Pretty soon, Music ought to know
something!
Our idea of a dumbbell is the poor
flap jack who puffs out his puny
cheeks and says: "Pm the boss around
my housed"
1t is significant that he doesn't
brag about it when his wife is around.
A book of directions says: "To
make RED INK dissolve one ounce
garcene of the best quality in one
ounce of liquid ammonia; add one
pint of cold water distilled; mix to-
gether in a mortar, filter and dissolve
in it half an ounce of gum arabic"
Now we understand where they
got the recipe for some of the home
hooch that's going around!
Do you know who are the three
biggest liars in Lambertville?
Ask Dr. Salmon!
Or George Barber!
SOCIETY WOMEN COPS WILL
WEAR DIAMONDS AND GOWNS"
says Times heading
Phew! It's a good thing they added
the gowns!
Speaking of bulls" contemplate
the following from Arthur Traine's
story in the Sunday Tribune:
cts a great shame all this trouble
should be dumped on you," said Nc
Call unconsciously.
Must have been talking in his
sleep!
Don't tell anybody but we went to
sleep on the 4.55 train from Trenton
Monday.
When we woke up we were pulling
into Frenchtown.
Lost two perfectly good hours by
it. And it cost sixty two perfectly
good cents to get back.
But we had chance to give Edi-
tor Morgan T. Davy of the Indepen-
dent the once over.
Aren't you glad we didn't have to
borry the return railroad fair, Morg?