davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-09
YOUR LUXURIES.

During the single year 1919 the people OF Ohio
spent 100000 600 for luxures than was spent
in that state for education between the years 1897
and 1919, according TO comparative data presented
by =. p. CIaxton. United States commissioner OF
educaEon.-and doubtless, Indiana viii show
similar disparity between expenditures for eduoa-
ton and luxury.
But insofar as the increasing demand for luxury
represents the desire OF the common man 90 live
broader and more comfortable life. there can bo
no quarrel with luxury. least OF all among educa-
tors Indeed education would fail Of its purpose II
It did not in desire for other than the
bare necessities OF existence.
And what Injuries? Fifteen years ago vacuum
cleaners and electric irons Injuries in South
Bend These things have become necessities be-
cause the housewife has educated TO know tina.
she the eternal bondmaid or the ironing
board and the broom.
Twenty years ago. the carriage luxury Of
the rich Today the workman motoring over coun-
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-09
A SOUTH SEAS QUEEN.

Mrs. Zoe Zaher is the OF a woman who IS
administrator OF the island OF Badu. between Aus
traIia and New Guinea 10 which post she was ap-
pointed by the government Of Queensland. She is
described as white haired and energetic
For nine years she has been teacher as we'll as
governor OF the native population During time
she has barred liquor and undesirable white Wis
The result is said to be that the natives have
become Industrious. happy. healthy and prosper
GUS increasing in numbers instead Of dying out
Contact with civilization has been curse to natives
of many such islands Perhaps civilization isn't bad
for them when efficient women have hand in
trolling IL.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-09
JUST FOLKS
By EDGAR A. GUEST

It's oh, my little laddie. as you're
romping at your play
There's an old heart running with
you every minute of the dav:
And though you cannot see me when
you're wrapped up in a game.
But it's that am beside you in your
striving just the same.
It is on. my little laddie, there is
much you cannot know.
But it's 1 that follow proudly every
where you chance TO go;
There's a hand upon your shoulder
wheresoever you may be
That would hep you out Of danger.
and that hand belongs to me.
1t is oh, my Ii.tle laddie. though you
cannot hear me call,
am always there 10 help you every
time you chance TO fall;
am with you in the school room
and I'm with you on the street.
And though You may not know il, I
am doggins at your feet.
It's oh. my little laddie. all my life
belongs TO you,
All the dreams that I have cherished
through the years depend on
you,
And though now you cannot know
it. YOU shall some day come TO
see
How this old heart loved TO hover
round a boy that used 10 be.
Copyright. 1929
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-09
THE MONDAY LESSON.

THE MONDAY IIsSSON.
Cheerio-English for WOO hoo
Tray Beans-Very good.
Oxygen-A gas used in speaking.
Woodrow Wilson-Look under
the KS.
Wood Alcohol-FareweI.
THE YAP JAP QUESTION.
Joseph: Cheerio. father.
Father: Tray beans. my son,
tray beans.
Joseph: Your Gallo greeting
pleases me, father, even though
your accent is somewhat A +. +.
Father: 1t gives me much pleas
ure. also. to note you pack a lucid
lug.
Joseph: Return, father.
Father: Huh?
Joseph: / mean come again.
Father: l mean 10 say you have
nifty ear.
Joseph: As you were. father. let
US waste no more oxygen in footless
phases. L would hold converse with
you on a subject of international
import.
Il dLneI- SnOOls my SOH.
Joseph: Tell me. father. all you
know about this controversy over
the Island of zap.
Father: Well. my son, as near as
can understand it, the Island OF
zap was originally intended as a
gift TO Woodrow Wilson.
Joseph: Why, father?
Father: On the Principle OF
Sweets to the Sweets"
Joseph: But why should Wood
row Wilson want the Island Of zap!
What is the principal export Of tn,
Island of zap?
Father: Yaps.
Joseph: And what Is the princi
\ pal occupation?
Father: Yaping.
Joseph: Then / am sure they
would all vote to belong TO the
United States, where they would bt
so much at home.
Father: Your perception does
/ you credit, my child.
/ Joseph: But why do the Jap.
want all these YaIs? See, I car
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-09
All! EPSON SALTS
LIKE LEMONADE
GU can now buy real epson salts

You can now buy real epson salts
without the awful taste and nausea.
by asking your druggist for a handy
package OF "Epsomade Salts" which
looks and acts exactly like epson
salts. because it is pure epson salts
combined with fruit derivative salts.
giving it the teaste OF sparkling lem
Onade.
Take a tablespoonful in a glass Of
cold water whenever you feel bill
Gus. headachy or constipated. "Ep-
somade Salts" IS the much talked Of
discovery of the American EPSON
Association.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-09


4 distinguished educator asserts
that only pretty girls make success
full teachers.
When I was in the second grade
fell in love with Tessie Slade
Who taught my young and BASH
full tongue
To say, Good morning, teach
err"
And an! my marks were always
high, for as the joyful days
went by
With sturdy zest I did my best
To please the lovely creature.
Alas! In the ensuing term we had a
lady plain but firm
Who seemed TO me too much to
To discipline devoted.
Full heavily the days dragged past;
l couldn't work. and when at
last
Vacation came, to my vast shame,
I didn't get promoted.
Thenceforth. somehow I always
struck a very grievious run OF
luck
No blushing peach appeared to
teach
The class / attended.
To guide my feet there always came
some stern and unattractive
dame
OF doubtful age. whose tutelage
/ never cOmprehended.
OF Tessie Slade I've often thought;
of how delightfully."- she
taught;
l know that she possessed for me
A binding fascination.
If she had always taught my class
never should have failed "a
pass
And might, by now. have got
somehow
A little education.
Copyright 1919
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-09
Ignorant Essays
By ]. P. McEVOY

make poetry, father, without an ef-
fort.
Father: Most poetry is made
that way, my boy. but 1 do not
know why the Japs should like the
Yaps unless they wish to adopt
them and give them n polish-sort
of Japan finish, so TO speak.
Joseph: How quaint you are.
father, but what a rotten pun. Tell
me some more about the Japs,
father.
Father: The Japs are a wonder
full little people, and their principal
occupation is raising other little
jars, hence their slogan: zap for
Jap and the rest of the map"
Joseph: But will the little Yaps
like the little Japs?
Father: Being neither, I cannot
speak for either.
Joseph: 1t occurs TO me, father
that a very clever verse could be
written about the Yaps, the Japs,
the chaps the maps, and the slaps,
raps and taps-oh, the thought
thrills me. father.
Father: Restrain yourself. my
son. until 1 am out of your hearing.
Joseph: But l can control my
self no longer. father. Listen:
There once was a cute little zap,
who coyly walked up to a jar"
Father: If you finish that rhyme
1 will catch you in time, and hand
you a Nell of a rap.
Joseph: All right. father, I will
desist. Thank you for your illumi-
mating discourse on the zap Jap
| controversy. Well, vanilla extract.
Father: Wood alcohol.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-09
The Tower Of Babel
LET'S.
BY BILL ARMSTRONG

LET'S.
Let's work and play.
Let's live our day.
Nor brood DER cares or frets.
Let's sing our song.
And push along.
Nor mind the weather:
Let's.
Let's kindly smile.
Nor yield 10 guile.
Nor daily with regrets
Let's friendly be.
And hold the key
To strength and courage:
Let's,
Let's greet the morn
With hopes new born:
And when the kind sun sets,
Let's meet the night
With hearts still light.
And turn 10 slumber:
Let's
Alfred Arnold.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-09

try roads with his family common sight The
automobile has opened up new experiences for the
average Is the auto. strictly speaking.
luxury?
The advance Of civilization Is marked by a wider
distribution and repatriation OF the things that
we call Injuries when they are enjoyed only by
favored few. What Is needed not less luxury. but
a stIl wider distribution OF its benefits
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-09
MEDICAL NOTES

DR.. Jake HILL the eminent physi-
cian' had a rather trying patient
the other day, so OFT Bastian tells
US. Doc asst him. How long. sir.
has 1t been since you were intoxi-
cated?" The patient replied. "Why
you insulting PUP. I'm intoxicated
right now!'
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-09
MISTAKES


When a plumber makes mis-
take, he charges time for II. When
a lawyer makes a mistake, It's just
what he wanted. When a carpen-
ter makes a mistake. it's just what
he expected. because the chances
are ten 10 one he never learned his
business.
When an electrician makes mis-
take. he blames IL on induction. be-
cause nobody knows what that is
When a doctor makes a mistake. he
buries il. When a Judge makes a
mistake. II becomes the law Of the
land. When a preacher makes a
mistake. nobody knows the differ
ence.
But when a newspaper makes
one. Ye Gods. look out. Everybody
i'm town knows about It in an hour
or two.
And we met a man the other day
that contended that the people
don't pay any attention 70 the pa
persl
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-09
OUR DAILY PONrE-

Speak. Oracle Of Life, and tell
From out thy dark and crytic cell.
When shall the breezes hear again
That once sweet echo OF SAY
When ,"
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-09
THE HOUSE SERVANT

If you want a man 10 do any
Serving OF your parties. or act
as your DOorman, rake up your
yard, clean your basement.
sweep or dust. wash down your
porch, clean up your attic. Or
come once a week. all day or
a half day. or any time, just
give us a trial. We are here to
give first-class. courteous ser
vice at very small price, and
to take care of the housewives
wants. Any cleaning Of any
kind. at all times. We furnish
the best Of references.
And if you haven't done your
Spring cleaning, kindly give us
a trial, and we are sure 10 con-
vince you by our work what
our service means.
Woodwork. wallpaper. paint
ed walls, floors, windows
washed. Sc inside. 10c outside.
Floors and woodwork waXed,
oiled and polished.
Phone Lincoln GIL.
JACKSON CLEANING co.
100 5. Michigan st.
Room 2, End Floor
Theaters, Stores, Offices and
Homes Cleaned.
We Thank You.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-09
A LESSON IN TRUTHFUL AID
VERTISING.

"Wflsnap Fasteners. regular 10
cents a yard. special at II cents. -
Minneapolis ad.
Commercial candor is becoming
the rule.
In fact, merchants nowadays are
pushing the truth-in- advertising
idea 10 the limit. A Peoria shoe
man injuries. Don't these prices
strike you as unusual? Quality is
forgotten here
The Tower OF Babel Will be two
years old on Thursday Of this week.
Gosh. it'll soon he old enough TO
vote.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-09
MeticuIOuS.

We recently were told by young
lady from Boston that her father
had bought two cases Of Scotch from
a boot-limber.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-09

And now we know what Cassius
meant when he said, If l but catch
him on the hip 1 will feed fat the
ancient grudge I bear him"
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-09
EQUAL CHANCE FOR ALL.

Greenville. Tenn. has a main street two miles
long At one end. over little one-story frame
house is a sign reading, "a Johnson Tailor"
At the other end of the street a marble
ment bearing the inscription, "A. Johnson Presi-
dent"
"a Johnson" was the Andrew Johnson who be-
mated
The two signs in Greenville. Tenn, again bring
home the fact that America is a land Of equal op-
portunity. While chance may play a big part n
your life a humble beginning does not bar you from
the white house or any other top-notch leadership
political scientific, industrial or financial
We make tailors into presidents in this country
and poor bookkeepers into John d. Rockefellers-
because we have no caste system. If you have 1.-The
goods" in you, you become a leader.
meanor for landlords bar children. This will
get chuckle out of every parent who prefers chill
dren to dogs and pet monkeys.
History repeats Old styles return. Everything
travels in a circle. Einstein may be right about
there being such thing a straight line.
After ALL it such wise move when Perry
opened the doors of Japan" In solving prob
lem we sometimes create six new ones.
The feversh haste with which wrecking crews
tear down buildings probably is due to curiosity
about what kind of bottled goods under the
cornerstone.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-09
THIS Is NOT THE TRUTH: HE
PROMISED To TAKE A POKE
AT US If WE FAILED TO
VOTE FOR HINT

Mr.. Hutchinson spent
s14.13. his report shows. OF
this amount, $i1 was used to
purchase cards and the remain
der was spent in procuring a
zinc cut. He made no promises,
he asserts.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-09

QUESTIONS: What do you know
about the Island OF zap? Do you
know any more about it now than
you did before you read this les
son? Do you know any less?
Where were you last Thursday?
Do YOU think these lessons are i'm
proving your mind? Can you think
OF any more questions? If so, write
out your answers in full and send
them TO the Dead Letter office.
Copyright. 1929
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-09

A Ford is about the smallest ma
chine there is, but II you are in an
other machine. they seem TO be the
biggest car on the road and are al
ways trying TO go in all directions
at once. And there are more peo-
pie packed into a Ford than you
ever saw in six Pierce Arrows.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-09

After ALL was it such wise when Perry
Opened the doors of Japan?" In solving prob
lem, we sometimes create six ones.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-09

Conditions were ideal for father
TO loaf on Mothers day.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-09

History repeats. Old styles return. Everything
travels in circle. Einstein may be right about
there being no such thing as a straight line.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-09
More Truth
Than Poetry
By JAMES ]. MONTAGUE

Unblissful Ignorance.
4 distinguished educator asserts
that only pretty girls make success
full teachers.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-09
Been at it over 10 Years
w. W. Dunkle
Service for advertisers
63o d OGS Bldg
cHdUertlSerS
63o a. DIS. Bldg

We note a query in the paper
the other day: Where does the
Public get Public Opinion?"
From the newspapers, from edi-
torials and ADVERTISEMENTS;
from books and magazines and
ADVERTISEMENTS and from
the talk Of people who read these
things.
Why not assist in forming fa-
vorable opinion in the public mind
in reference to your business by
using newspaper advertising.
WE. WRITE AID COPY
LUrite, Call or Phone
Lincoln 1856
Evening star., 1921-12-17
BY the Associated Press.

BY the Associated Press.
DETROIT, December 17.-Plans
for the new international suspen-
sion bridge to connect Detroit and
Windsor. just announced, show
that it will have the longest single
span in the world. measuring 1,SO2
feet, or twenty-four inches longer
than the great cantilever at Que
hec. OF double-dsck construction,
the new link between Canada and
the United States will accommo-
date street car, automobile and
pedestrian traffic on the upper deck
and passenger and freight train
service on the lower deck.
Barring unforeseen delays. actual
construction work will commence
the upper deck should be ready for
service. Without interfering with
traffic on the highway deck. it is
planned then to begin construction
of the lower deck, which should be
finished in two years more.
The bridge and it's approaches
will have a total weight of 10000
tons. with eight cable" 80 r''-.'''"
the huge span. Six Of these cables
will be twenty-one inches III os'.
eter and two will be eighteen
inches thick; together they will
support pull of 146.000.00O
pounds.
Suspended from two towers, each
rising $50 feet above the water,
the span will have width of
ninety-seven feet for the highway
deck. with two trolley tracks. two
sidewalks and two roadways, while
the lower deck will have four
railway tracks and a twenty-foot
space for public utilities equipment.
Electric locomotives would be used
for traffic across the lower deck.
Completion of the bridge will
Evening star., 1921-12-17
SIX RESIDENCES SOLD.
N. L. sansbury Company Reports
Transactions Totaling $4,000.

Sale of six residences. aggregating
in value $4,000, was reported this
week by the N. l. Sansbury Company.
Mortimer B. Lane purchased from
Albert E. Lewis premises 1895 Liv-
ingston street. This is a new de-
tached home of brick construction
and containing nine rooms and three
baths, with all modern conveniences.
Mr.. Lane and family are occupying
it as their home.
One of the new homes completed
by II. A. Thrift, 1902 Kenyon street
northwest, was sold to Mrs. Barbara
b. Lewis, who has taken possession
of same. 1t is a two-story brick
house, containing eight rooms and
two baths, hot-water heat. electric
light. sleeping porch and builtin
garage.
Premises 351O Macomb street was
sold for Mrs. Cleva Saunders. 1t is
a handsome detached home, contain
ing ten rooms, two baths, hot-water
heat and electric light.
Joseph NJ. and Winifred Michael
son bought of Ethel NJ. Rutty prem
ises 1914 Irving street northwest.
This is a modern two-famlly apart
ment building. the lower apartment
Evening star., 1921-12-17

containing five rooms and bath and
the upper six rooms and bath. Mr..
and Mrs. Michaelson will occupy one
of the apartments.
Adolph G. Daut and wife purchahed
66 New York avenue northeast from
Mrs. Barbara M. Lewis and are now
Occupying same. This is a twostory
colonial brick and contains six rooms
and bath.
Lewis Holmes purchased 1868 Lanier
street one of the new homes recently
completed by Charles L. Tankersiey.
Containing eight rooms and two
baths, large sleeping porch. in
stantaneous water heater and many
other conveniences A brick garage
is provided.
Evening star., 1921-12-17
DROP VERBAL TILT CASE.
Publisher Was Charged With De-
nouncing Anti-Saloon League Man.

MONTGOMERY, Ala. December II.
The case against Charles H. Allen,
publisher of the Advertiser. charging
a disturbance Of the peace when he
denounced DR.. Z. A. Baker, national
superintendent of the Anti-Saloon
League, was dismissed when it was
called in the recorders court yester-
day afternoon. The manager OF the
hotel in the lobby of which the ver-
bal arraignment was publicly made
said that since DR.. Baker did not re-
sent the verbal assault and there was
no fight, he would withdraw the COM
plant which he had made
Evening star., 1921-12-17
On Beautiful
10Th Street

Old English design
just completed: center
hall plan. ten rooms
and bath. beautifully
finished throughout,
pantries: large stor-
age room; breakfast
and service porches;
full front porch:
completely detached
on large lot, private
drive. Phone us for
particulars and ap-
pointment to inspect.
1873
Evening star., 1921-12-17
six HOUSES COMPLETED.
Modern Dwellings on 10th Street
in Northwest Section.

Charles D. Sager has just completed
the erection of six dwellings on 18th
street between Monroe and Newton
streets northwest. numbering 1906 to
1916 10Th street
The houses contain six rooms and
bath each. with specially equipped
Kitchens The buildings are three
rooms deep. Equipment includes hot
water heat, electric lights and front
and double rear porches.
Evening star., 1921-12-17
BANDITS HAVE OFFICES.
German Gang Plumbers Banks,
Business Places and Post Offices.
By the Associated Press.

By the Associated Press
BERLIN. December 16-The crimi-
nal police today announced the arrest Of
thirty members of an alleged communist
band which has been systematically
plundering banks, business offices and
post offices in Prussia, Saxony and Ba-
varia-
The men are said to have six offices
in Berlin and to have maintained a reg
ular courier service for carrying on
their work. 1t is charged by the police
that the men utilized parades and labor
unrest, which they themselves stirred
up, to gain their ends. All Of them pos
sessed false Identification papers.
Their leader, who is described as
wandering communist orator, named
Karl Robert Plaetner, escaped capture.
His men always worked in hands Of ten
to twenty, and recent outrages in Ber-
lin, Leipzig, Halle and Dresden are laid
to them.
Evening star., 1921-12-17
GIVEN LARGEST VERDICT.

ST. PAUL, Mimi. December IL
The Minnesota supreme court has af
firmed a verdict of $4,000 for per-
sonal injuries to Harold Carlson,
brakeman, against the Great Northern
railway. 1t is the largest verdict for
personal injury damages ever passed
on by the state supreme court. Carl
sons arms were cut off by train.
Evening star., 1921-12-17
LARGEST SPAN IN WORLD IN PLAN
FORUS.. CANADA RLDGEATDEIROII

mean the end of train ferries.
which for years have carried freight
and passenger trains across the
Detroit river, even after the
opening Of the Michigan Central
tunnel.
been authorized to issue 100000
400 in securities for the project.
Evening star., 1921-12-17
Columbia Heights

Right in the heart
OF this pretty sec
ton: brick home of
two stories. basement
and attic: ei G ht
rooms and bath; and
sleeping porch; good
heating plant: electric
lights har d W o o d
floors: garage space
Price, SD,5M. 5O3-2
Evening star., 1921-12-17
YANKS BUY PRESENTS.
Soldiers on Rhine to Make Poor
Happy Christmas.

COBLENZ, December 17.-American
soldiers and officers in the occupation
area will have a share in providing
Christmas joy for the children Of
Vienna. One thousand dollars, the gift
of the men, has been sent to the Aus
trian capital for this purpose.
After New Year the American army
of occupation will be composed of only
one brigade. the second brigade going
out of existence. i
Evening star., 1921-12-17
Christmas Week Bargains
Neu Homes

Just off 10th Street
in exclusive section.
yet convenient to
downtown sec ton;
these homes are the
last word in modern
h o nj e constructions;
contain six rooms
and bath and plenty
of porch space; hard
wood floors upstairs
and down open fire
place in bright living
room. Phone us for
appointment to in
spect. Price, S10,250.
555-2
Evening star., 1921-12-17
The Humanitarian.
rom the Arkl;ght.

From the Arklight.
II use this horrible Shrek horn on
my motor car for humane reasons." ex-
planned Lieut.. Hustled. "If l can par
alyze a pedestrian with fear. he will
stand still and l am less likely to run
over him."
Evening star., 1921-12-17
: Northeast

Brick home located
in best residential
section of northeast:
six large rooms and
bath; concrete eel
lar, gas; two-car
brick freproof garage.
good ndition.
Price, S,15O. 1873
Evening star., 1921-12-17
Located On Corner

in pretty locality;
rough brick construc-
ton with concret'
front pore h: six
rooms and b a t h.
breakfast and kitchen
service porch, all
modern mpr owe
ments, hot-w a t e r
heat. electric lights.
hardwood floors and
trim: sleeping porch:
laundry trays. Price.
$3.50. This is a new
home.
Evening star., 1921-12-17
Souls Addition

Modern home OF
six rooms and bath:
all m o d ern conf
yeniences. two-c ar
brick garage on rear.
Priced at $4,000.
$1,000 cash required.
1867
Evening star., 1921-12-17
Chevy Chase

Detached home of
seven rooms and bath
with all conveniences,
including h o t-water
heat. electric lights.
hardwood floors and
trim: front and rear
porches charming in
terror d e c orations,
bui!t-in boo kcases;
stone open fireplace;
electric range; new.
Owner will build
either one or two
car garage. Price.
Si2,5OO. 20-3
Evening star., 1921-12-17
Chevy Chase, Md.

Located on attrac-
tive grounds: seven
rooms and bath. side
porch: sic eping
porch: every convent
ence: lot lOOxlOO.
Convenient term S
can be arranged on
price, $4,000. sos!