The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1921-12-29

1 mutter, with my shoulders bowed.
What IS the use?"
| A WRITER in The villager believes ever
man should write his own epitaph because IN
one else can do it fairly. We should like u
see the epitaphs Of various nigh parsonage
/ IN this and other countries as written by them
selves. There's an idea for wide-awake pub
! Usher. Get a collection of EN-.
The VilIager writer quotes one of the bes
| epitaphs he has ever read: Names, son o
CTymas. who was the best OF the Phryg1ans II
the broad lands of Athens, lies in this flint
tomb; and by Zeus 1 never saw a better wood
man than myself He died in the war
The IDEA of writing ones ephaph interest!
US exceedingly. What, frinstance, would vii
liam Jennings Bryan say of himself? Oh
Henry Cabot Lodge? Or Wilson? Or Harding
Lloyd George? De Valera? Can't someone ge
them to do it? Such a volume would become
one of the W. k. six best sellers.
Obviously Not a Female Jury.
From The August
An appeal was taken to the supreme
court, and at the June term this year
Judge Larson's opinion was sustained
and judgment for Stewart was affirmed.
A petition for hehearing filed and
subsequently, granted.
REGRET has been gnawing at us for sew
eral days. Perhaps if we say something about
it relief will come. Well after the ex-
kaiSers famous peace letter was given to the
world by Hizzoner Mister Hearst Friend Rio
wrote wondrous tale entitled Now 1t Can
Be Told, and printed it in his colyum.
"Ah, hai" chuckled we to ourself. Well
Just reprint that in our colyrm. thereby saw
ing ourself much work and entertaining our
readers just the same"
But, alasi ''the best laid plans O. mice and
men gang aft agley. Rigs colyum is half an
EN- wider than ours about half a dozen lines
longer, and is set in minion type! So what
could we do? (Riq can't you revise that thing
a bit and send US a mat so we print it?)
We Print This on the Chance That You
May Have Missed ii.
tReceived by a forest ranger at Pasadena.
Kind and Respected Cir:
L see in the paper that man named
= s. was attached and ct I'D
by bare whose cubs he was trying TO
git when the she bare came I'D and
stopt him by eatin him up in the noun
tains near your town. What / want to
know is did it kill him or was he only
partly ct up and he from this place and
all about the bare l don't know but
what he fs distant husband of mine
My first husband was OF that name and
l supposed he was killed in the war but
the name of the man the bare ct being
the same thought it might be him after
all and thought to know If he wasn't
killed either in the war or by the bare
for have been married twice since and
their ought to be divorce papers got cut
by him or Inc il the bare did not eat
him all up If it is him you will know
IL by him having six toes on the left
foot He also sings base and has a
spread eagle tattoed On his front cnest
and ankor on his right arm which Won
will know him if the bare did not eat
up these parts Of him If alive dent tell
him 1 married to J. W
for he never liked !. Mebbe Won
had better let on if am ded but find
out all you can about him without him
knowing anything what it is for That
is If the bare did not eat him all up
ri C1nI Won r.
and you needn't take any trouble NV
respeks to your family and please an aer
back
"P. S.-Was the bare killed. Also
was he married again and did he leave
any property worth me laying claim
to"'-Plywood Panels.
GOLOSHES.
Gosh, Goloshes are so silly!
Who invented them and why?
Better call the old fcol-killer.
For well need him bye and bye !
Big girls push EN-, small ones drag EN-,
Fat girls slop them up and down;
Tai ones stumble, lean ones scuff EN-
On the sidewalks CT the town
Had some farm maid decked her tootsies
In those things in bygope years
All the women would have scorned her
Men have greeted her with jeers
Now, girls think they're chic and stylish
Latest thing in women's wear
Stopping down the public highways
Dragging here and dragging there.
Time Will come when these goloshes
All the fappers will abhor
When they'll think 'em Just as siIIv
AS the hustle mother wore
Men may have their faults in costume.
Some are nutty, weak and vain.
But the trails that sport goloshes Il
Bring HE-man fearful pain!
BRUTUS.
THE author OF the foregoing probably chose :
s nom de plume with malice aforethougbt
TITUS, as you may recall was the gentleman
10 delivered the most unkindest cut of ALI"
ARTHUR and 1 were always paIAn the I
1bune quotes DIR. Burch. He showed a I
re and affection and reverence for me and 9
r his grandmother that was touching a, {
Is always affectionate toward dumb ami {
lis :" :
Touching! Watson. it's no end touching. {
You Know the Tune. /
WILL someone kindly tell u.s.
VIII someone answer why;
To US II Is riddle
And will be till We die
Went someone PLEASE inform US 9
We'd like to know we svear q