davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-09-04
DIAGNOSING THE CASE.

DIAGNOSING THE CASE.
 My poem is as good as anything Byron ever wrote."
 Yes, yes" said the editor, sooth- ingly. Have you been this way long?"
 What do you mean?"
 q just want to know if you are suffering from a temporary disorder or chronic complaint
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-09-04
POINTED PARAGRAPHS

From the Chicago News.
 Honest grafters confine their op- erations to trees and shrubs.
 Money makes the mare go and mar riage makes the money go.
 The outcome of new business en- terprise depends on the income.
 Generally speaking. the mature of an oath is mostly human nature.
 It sometimes happens that the truth in A nutshell Is a hard nut to crack.
 Our best friends are those who remind us of the smart things We have said.
 It often happens that the man who marries for money seldom seems to have any.
 Ever notice how generous man with 2 srouch Is? He just won't keep it to himself.
 Naturally. the girl who frankly admits that she can't sing knows that she has a keen sense of humor.
 As all girls expect to marry mii- lionaires they naturally think it a waste of time to learn the art of cooking. ss .
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-09-04

Every now and then someone comes out with an urgent plea for a new religion and with perfect com placence outlines the platform and. -tenets of the new credo which is to take the place of the old one which for some thousands of years has been the solace of large part of mankind.
 They usually have about the same success as the constitution mongers who ever and anon sit down and write out document which is to make null and void the one sealed in the blood of our forefathers, or forged in the heat of political up- heaval in the mother country or be- gotten in stress and strife after years of struggle on the continent.
 The truth of the business is, any re- ligion, social scheme or political panacea with power behind it is not born overnight but is slow grow tn. The great trouble with most reform CTS in all spheres of reform comes from the fact that they are deficient in perspective and always in too big hurry to put over their programme to be taken seriously by thoughtful mon and women who know full we'll that it takes time to mature reli- zion. social, political and economic changes.
 This is why 1 am never greatly excited or alarmed when I pick up a weekly or monthly, or new book, which gives the latest thing in re- ligious development, the newest thing in social welfare, the most up- to date political innovation, or the last thing in commercialism. I mean if the writer proposes to substitute them for the established customs on his mere ipse dixit.
 It is true that never before in the history of the world were there so many experimental theories in all lines of human endeavor fighting for place in the hearts and lives of men. Old ideas in many instances have been rudely torn out of their bear ings and new ones to take their place are being hurriedly planted in a soil which, alas, too often has not been sufficiently prepared to insure better crop.
 This is why new faiths are fighting old ones, this is why new social theo- ries are striving to replace the old and established ordT of society. this is why every kind of political vagary is getting a hearing in the minds of the radicals this is why every form of industralism is being advocated by men who have never had to do with the actualities of business. It's day of revolution and reconstruc- tion and demands the best thought of every one.
 The propagandist is abroad in the land as never before and, strange to say, it is sometimes hard to tell which theatens the established order
 the most. the professors chair or the
 soap box of the orator. There are quite . few who sit in seats of learn l ing who are amusing themselves with I every kind of "isms'' just as there are ! many Irresponsible takers har-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-09-04
THE FLIGHT or TIME

From the Huntsville Mercury
 The Birmingham Age-Herald re- calls the fact that ladies used to use one hand to hold up thejr skirts. My, how time fliesl One/would never think The Age-Herald was that old.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-09-04
TINED BRACE TALKS ABOUT THE1PRICE OF
 COTTON AND. WHAT A CONFER SAYS OF TIT

It appears this is the first time Donald Corners name ever appeared in print attached to an Interview.
 In the interview he told the facts of situation which means much to every man in the south. It has ra- diant meaning to the farmer, the manufacturer and the merchant. 2. means a renewal of work in wire fence mills, and nail mills and farm implement mills. It means that the farmer can buy for his farm, fence 1t. repair his buildings and buy new stove for his wife.
 * # <
 There will be cash in the rural districts; and lots of it, this year. It may be unfortunate that outside of the Birmingham district and a few others. the south is largely de- pendent for cash from the cotton crop and that good years and bad years are largely dependent upon the price of cotton.
 But fortunately this is to be one of the good years; and when Conner speaks of prosperity you may know it is in sight.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-09-04

 In the small towns and among coun- try merchants who trade with the farmers.
 < #
 It is much more gratifying toSan- nounce that Babe" Ruth has hit an- other home run than it is to state that a be-spectacled scientist. has found new way to intensity the horrors of war.
 When something goes wrong with aerial liners of the future it will be a pretty sight to see the passengers dropping gracefully to the ground in parachutes.
 * x < The report that the former Kaiser had escaped from Doorn was false alarm. If William hasn't lost his senses entirely he'll stay where he's safe.
 # Y *x Pretty Maude Moore, who merely killed man. was given a cordial reception on her return to Knoxville. Southern chiyalry is not dead yet.
 as # # The Chinese minister to the United States says the word American" is an open passport through Chiha. It works just the other way in Japan. Politeness in the postoffice ia much to be desired but what we need in this country is more polite druggists to sell stamps.
 Y # < The suggestion that Hugo Shines can be eliminated after he has reor- sanized German industry is rather unkind to Hugo,
 # E Chattanooga put so much warmth into her invitation to the Confeder- ate Veterans that they accepted with a whoop.
 We gather from a hasty reading of newspaper dispatches that the ter rain in West Virginia is not suited for tanks.
 Villa refuses to regard the promise of the Mexican government to pay his farm hands as a scrap of paper"
 At last there is some good news from Russia. The work of feeding Russian children has started.
 * ' *
 Servants who demand extra pay for skimming the home brew are in the profiteer class.
 The immigration law lacks teeth. It didn't take the steamship companies long to make that discovery. West Virginia is a rough country and seems to have,a surplus of rough citizens.
 * * E Football coaches report that the outlook for higher education is en- It Is as hot as the proverbial hinges, but now is the time to buy your winter furs.
 * z .
 A Chicago man wants protection from an untamable wife. Kipling said 1t long ago.
 One by one the gang leaders die. but their shoes are easily nlled.
 THE FLIGHT OF TIME From the Huntsville Mercury The Birmingham Age-Herald re- calls the fact that ladies used to use one hand to hold up thejr skirts. My, how time flies! One/would never
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-09-04
NO MORE CUsTARD PIE


 From the Philadelphia Public Ledger.
 Charles Chaplin, on the eve of his return to England, delivers taledic- dictory. He came to these shores nine years ago, unknown to fame He has made a fortune out of throw ing custard pies and waddling about in shoes several sizes too large for him. But a host of imitators lacked his personality, and were stupid, where he was funny. <They copied his gestures and pastures. but the wistful whimsies of his countenance as he went through his foolish antics were too subtle for imitation. He had come upon the screen the salient personality that gives such an origl- nal as Harry Lauder a place apart with millions moved to the mir tn that is sometimes close to tears.
 When Charlie comes back. he wants it to be with difference. He says he is tired of playing the buf- foon. He wants to get away from slapstick and horseplay. He prom ises to adhere to comedy and to ab- stain from Hamlet-and that is d welcome reassurance. whether the public will like him as we'll in less obvious aspects than those of his ca reer hitherto remains to be seen. But he has this advantage; that In his art (for he is entitled to be called an artisD. the psychic ele- ment always has been more than the physical, even when the latter be- came most boisterous. The man who can do what Charlie Chaplin has done already is undeniably qualified for the role he wishes to essay. He names Beaa Brummel as fat part for him. Probably the comedies os Sheridan would give scope to his pe- culiar methods and mannerisms. In any event, we cannot afford to let him cease to be, funny. The world Is too serious place to be able to spare those who among it's solemn visages bestow the precious boon 1 of mirth.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-09-04
sHIPs FOR HANDLING

From the St. Louis Post-Dispatch.
 An enterprising retailer could chop up one of these ss.1oo, wooden ships and turn it into about $s.ooo worth of kindling wood
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-09-04
DOUBTED IF SHE COULD MAKE TT


 At a recent gathering of musicians Lieut.. John Philip Sousa told the fol- lowing story: x +
 we musicians have one thing, we give solace or joy to those who iis- ten" he said. Sometimes, possibly we take ourselves too seriously lee call giving some concerts in St. Louis some years ago. and every morning I went down to my breaR- fast at the hotel I saw woman scrubbing the steps and working away very hard. Finally. thinking that possibly concert would pc very enli tightening and elevating Tor her. I stopped her on the stars one morning and said, By the way would you like to go to concert to- morrow night?' thinking, Of course' she knew me. However. she dio not know me. She looked up at me ana said: Is that your only night oft
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-09-04
FACILITIES PROVIDED.

Heres letter from a man who is worth millions, yet he can't write a grammatical sentence" "He needn't worry about that"
 "No?"
 Dozens of bright young reporters will express his views in the best newspaper English if he has any thing to say to the public and the magazines employ competent mem Der of their staffs ito write the auto biographies of self made men,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-09-04
IDLE SHIPS AT ANCHOR

From the Schenectady Union Star
 Those who visit New York these days are appalled, at the number of ships that lie idly at anchor about the harbor. Hundreds of empty hulls ride high in the water, pulling at their hawsers, waiting for cargoes that do not come, as idle as painted ships upon a painted ocean.
 It is the best demonstration of the chill hand of wars aftermath which is laid on the worlds activities. Commerce is well-nigh paralyzed.
 There Is no mystery about it. These ships are not carrying American products on the seven seas, because the people beyond the seven seas are in no condition to buy. They have no money The war ate their re- sources, and they owe us vast sums. The greatest cargoes that come to us now are tons and tons of gold.
 These ships will lie at anchor, turned lover to rats and rust, until conditions which govern trade the world over are adjusted. We do not know how this adjustment will le accomplished, but 1t must be done. Concessions undoubtedly will have to be made to start business. Wise men will have to get together from many nations, and devise arrangements that shall be just and equable to all, to the end that trade may be re- sumed. There is no object in con tinuinr this state of idleness indefi- nitely, for idle ships means idle fac tories, and idle factories mean loss in wages, and loss in wages means depriyation, want and suffering.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-09-04

anguing at every street corner the man in the street."
 Frankly, I have less fear from the peripatetic socialist who wanders from\ town to town on his soleNTe sponsibility preaching his crusade of the injustice of the present economic system, than I have from the pro- lessor who sure of his salary and backed by great endowed institution has the ear of the young men and women who later, armed with the ballot but unused to it's power, may abuse it because they have not had time to put to the test the academic and unbaked theories of their teach CTS.
 Just because lam familiar with the story of Christian socialism is the reason that I am unafraid to call at tention to the weakness of the pro- gramme outlined and advocated by
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-09-04

him and admire his indomitable eouK- age.
 It was not many years ago that a big athletic official of a corporation noted for his muscular development, told some stories about him of ship ping flour in meal sacks. The story had some humor in it, and was going the rounds of the gossips of the poll ing places of Birmingham in a nota- bls election.
 The afterwards governor and sena- tor had heard it several times during the day, before he met up with the author, at a southside polling place. It is of little matter what B. B. said but when he finished with that big fellow, B. B's fists were a bit de- faced, but the other fellow and his friends were busy quite a while pick ing up pieces of various things and doctoring facial bruises. Other than his fists Conner didn't show bruise or & scratch. He sauntered away smiling.
 Nobody else ever told the meal
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-09-04
FIVE GREEK BROTHERS

From the Philadelphia Public Ledger.
 Oliver Optic. Horatio Alger or Mayne Reid would have vied with one another to make "copy" of the five Greek brothers of Uniontown who made SO much money shining shoes in the last 15 years that they are about to build a hotel costing H.0oo.ooo in the middle of the town.
 Bootblacking. or bootlegging--any- body who has anything to So with the boot these days seems to be get ting rich. The chief end of man seems to be no longer the head but the foot.
 The story is a rebuke to those who whine that all the promising claims on the earth's surface were staked out before they came along. There is no more paralyzing fallacy than this. The chances abound for those with the will and the wit to seize them.
 The tale of the five brothers is a recent instance of an old. old story. and a story especially characteristic of America. the land of opportunity for those who are not afraid to work.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-09-04

him and admire his indomitable eour-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-09-04

Naturally, the girl who frankly admits that she can't sing knows that she has keen sense of humor.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-09-04

the mills of the Gulf States Steel company reflects the better feeling in the small towns and among coun- try merchants who trade with the farmers.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-09-04

From the Chicago News.
 Honest grafters confine their op- erations to trees and shrubs
The Washington herald., 1921-06-30
CLAUCHTON HELD
In $4,000 BONDS
Colored Youth Admits Attack
On Mary Doyle on June
%, Police Say.

William Claughton, colored, IT
years old. of s27 Third street north
west. arrested with four other ne
groes in a raid by Detective Sal
keld of the First precinct and Park
policemen on the rendezvous of the
men under a bridge over Tidal
Basin. was ordered held under &c.
900 bond by Judge Mcmahon of the
Police Court Tuesday on a charge
of attempted assault of Mary Doyle,
II years old. of 1913 Florida ave-
nue. northeast. on the night of June
%.
In an alleged confession shortly
after his srrest, police of the First
precinct say Claughton admitted
he had attacked Miss Doyle; but
claimed robbery was his motive.
He had followed the woman for a
half hour before attacking her with
club as she walked along street
near Thirteenth street southwest,
according to the police.
Three of the negroes arrested in
the rendezvous were released.
Henry Davis. fifth, who confessed
to the theft of q pocketbook from
the automobile of Representative
Frank crowthers. Of New York, IL
being held for Investigation.
The Washington herald., 1921-06-30
RAIL LABOR CHIEFS
TO DEBATE PAX CUT
Sir Shop Crafts Complete
Vote on Question of
Acceptance.

CHICAGO, June 29.-ChicaEo
will become n center of national
interest Friday when more than
1000 rail union leaders as
sembIe for conferences that are
relied upon to dispose of the
question whether railway en-
ployes are to accept OF reject
the IL per cent wage cut or
dered by the United States Rail-
road Labor Board. The order
becomes effective Friday.
Labor leaders admit the pos
sibility of strike, hut many
assert the probability of a
waIkout IN not Erent.
The six railway shop crafts,
whose membership approxi-
mntes 100000, already have
completed n referendum vote on
the question. TnbuIation of
this vote was 6nishe ed tonight.
The result is contained in a re-
port that reposes In the Office
safe of ID. NJ. Jewell. president
of the Railway Employees De-
partment of the American Fed
GRAFTON of Labor. 1t probably
will not be announced before
Saturday.
The vote OF maintenance OF
way employees, signal men and
stationary hremen is included In
the returns
All the general chairmen OF
the four big brotherhosds will
attend the conference. Switch
men and clerks will also be rep
resented.
The Washington herald., 1921-06-30
REAL ODDS 50 TOl
AGAINST DEMPSEY,
ASSERTS &c. B. s."
Georges World Greatest
Pugilist, British Writer
Says.
Special Cable to The Washington Herald
and Chicago Tribune.)
Nv GEORGE BERNARD SHAW,

LONDON, June 81 affirm on
my reputation for knowing what
write about that if all the ed
itors and reporters who have been
ordering and contributing articles
about the coming contest in New
Jersey had been put through twelve
rounds with competent profession
ais after due training and had sup
ported themselves and their faml-
lies for a year by betting on the
ring, 30 per cent, of those articles
would not have been written and
90 per cent of them would have
been contemptuously rejected as
bookmakers' advertisements.
The last article of the kind at
whichc have glanced declares the
odds against Carpenter are four
to one.
Niger in woodpile.
How has this result been brought
about in the face of the fact that
the real odds are fifty to one against
Dempsey?
The explanation is simple. All
these People who are running down
Carpenter are so certain he will
win that they mean to put their
shirts on him when they have hum
bugged all good American patriots
into offering ridiculous odds against
him.
Pugilists may not be conspicuous
ly judicial In general affairs, but
those who are we'll known enough
to be quoted by the papers must
kno wwell that Georges is the most
formidable boxer in the world: that
he is ideally built for his profess
sion; that another pound of weight
he is game to the last breath; that
he has brains, style, character. con-
summate skill. and everything that
a champion can have, including a
INST nds-
fully described as poison"
know nothing of Mr.. Dempsey.
| have never seen him and he may.
for all I know. have every quality
that his admirers claim for him.
But what do now absolutely and
positively is that they are talking
arrant nonsense about Carpenter
and that they INST know II IL they
know anything about boxing.
Probably VIII Win.
is simply not humanity possible
for any boxer to be superior enough
to Carpenter to Justify the odds
at present announced, and whatever
the result may be, the people who
are betting against Carpenter al
those odds are being grossly duped
All probabilities are that French
genius will win and any man who
bets DON a contrary assumption is
not fit to- be trusted with money. :.
:. fcopyri<ht. fs21.)
The Washington herald., 1921-06-30
Tlro Indicted on Charge
of MisappIying Funds

NEW YORK, June 29.-Indicted
on charges of misappIying funds of
the Mariners Harbor National Bank,
Robert Magruder, president of the
johnson Shipyard CORPORATION, sur
rendered to a United States marshal
today.
Sylvanus Bedell, former cashier of
the bank. also was indicted. Dis
trict Attorney Ross said the sum in
voIved would approximate 100000,
although the indictment specifically
re ltion only $500. 1t was alleged
that the men wrongfully used the
banks unds for the shipbullding
concern in which they were inter
ested
The Washington herald., 1921-06-30
BORAH DISARMING
BILL ADOPTED BY
HOUSE, $50 TO a
Wild Cheers from Both
Sides Greet Victory for
Idaho Senator.

BY the overwhelming vote OF $40
to 4, with one voting present" the
House yesterday agreed to the
Borah disarmament amendment 10
the naval appropriation bill.
The vote was taken. following the
reading OF letter written By
President Harding 70 ss5srstsf
Leader MondelI. in which he said it
was wholly desirable to have an
expression OF Congress favorable to
world disarmament. and also that
1T is not Of particular concern TO
the Administration what form the
expression of the Congress shall
take"
Wanted it -GeneraL-
The President did say, however,
lit should seem to me ample IL 1t
should be expressed in the broadest
and most general terms.
Mr.. Mondell announced that
while he believed the Borah amend
ment was "unwiseIy restrictive,
since II did not include in its dis
armament proposal land arma-
ments, Il for one. am ready to sur
render my views
With this announcement by the
Republican floor leader, who has
been the forefront of the movement
for several weeks-supposedly with
the Presidents approvsl-to ditch
the Borah amendment and adopt an
administration substitute covering
all nations and both land and sea
armamefts, the opposition to the
Borah amendment collapsed utterly.
A demonstration that has seldom
been equaIled in the House occurred
when Representative Kelley, of
Michigan, in charge Of the naval
bill, moved that the House concur
in the Borah amendment. Repub-
licans Joined with Democrats in
cheering loudly, and when Mr.. Mon
dell attempted to speak he was not
permitted to proceed for several
minutes.
President Harding has announced
that the time and manner Of pre-
senting the question of dissrma-
ment to foreign nations will de-
pend on the fuller development
of inquiries he has initiated.
What Amendment Says
The Borah amendment author
ICES and requests" the President to
call together representatives of
Britain and Japan to discuss with
the United States the Limitation
of naval building for five years.
Representative Garret, Tennessee
(Dem.) attacked President Harding's
statement that he'was more con-
cerned about an expression from
Congress than the form of IL. Gar
ret declared the administration had
blocked efforts of Congress TO ex-
press Its. Representative Byrnes,
of South Carolina, Demochats, crit
ized Secretary Webs and repeated
charges anw that the vbgkqjf IN !;
charges that the administr alton has
impeded to disarmament.
The Washington herald., 1921-06-30
Sues Ford for $1O,O 900;
Alleges Failure of Cu

BOSTON, June 2s.-A $4,000 suit
against the Ford Motor Company of
Detroit for alleged failure to make
the right kind of a car-the alleged
failure being charged to have re-
suited in a fatality-was filed here
today in United States District
Court.
Attorney Thomas NJ. Reynolds,
administrator for the estate of
Marie l. Dumas, of Manchester, N.
H., seeks to recover that amount
in connection with her death from
injuries received when a Ford run
about ran down an embarnkment.
He asserts that the accident re-
suited from improper design and
construction of the caE