South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-16
Wilson Also Had Weakness
For All Humorous Stories

better than either u these was one
that was told about a conversation
between Spring -I}ice. the British am
bassador. and Cant. Harris who. al
the Time was superintendent cf
buildings and grounds.
Spring Rice had visited the pres
ident and. following his visit. was
being shown some Of the white house
portraits by Capt Harris.
As the British ambassador depart
ed he turned 20 capt Harts and ask
cd him.
What is the white house male
of"
Virginia sandstone answered
the captain.
But ! didn't know Virginia sand
stone was white" said Spring Rics
"Nor is it, the captain replied.
you see we had 10 paint the
stones"
Paint them? why in the world
would YOU have 10 paint wood red
sandstone" exclaimed the astonish 70
cd diplomat.
"To cover up the black places that
remained after the burning Of the
building. Can't Harris explained.
All, so the building was burned.
was it,. And what caused the fire 90
inquired the British ambassador.
The British" said capt. Harris.
oh" said Spring Rice.
An incident happened in the navy
department shortly before the world
war began. Of which this story re-
minds me
Sir Robert Hadfehld, an English
expert in ordinance. was waiting 10
see me about projectiles. and nv
aide was showing him the trophies
which adorne the Office Of the sec
retray Of the navy-and. by the way.
that office is by far the finest in
washington. and finer than any gov
eminent office saw i'm Europe.
Among the trophies displayed were
been presented 20 Commodore Hull
for his eminent service. Nv aide
pointed TO these with much pride
He Did The English"
HUI" HuI2" unused Sir Robert.
Name sounds familiar. but I con-
fess 7 can not recall what he did. -
and ne turned 10 the navel officer
for enlightment II came promptly.
"He did the English, Sir Robert.
announced by aide.
The British ordinance expert saw
the point and laughed heartily
In the DAYS when the president
was trying 10 straighten out the
Mexican situation. the policy Of
"watchfuIl waiting" so much mis-
understood and so frequently mis-
represented. provided the para
graphers and jOkesmiths with ma
terial which they worked and over
worked
The criticism and ridicule to which
his programme was subjected by his
political opponents did not disturb
him. He had certain aims upon
which mis- purpose was definitely set
He was resolved that his policy
should be free from selfish inter-
ests either national or individual,
and that he would not hermit the
United States TO aid Huetra in max
ing government by assassination
a success.
Criticised by Interests"
The president was sharply criti-
cised by the interests" behind
Huerta because Of their disappoint-
mcnt over his refusal TO recognize
the ASSASSIN. Later he was criu-
cized because he gave the Mexicans
"a chance u control their own gov
eminent. Jnhindered and unin-
fuenced by interests. British or
American. which were eager to eX-
plot Mexican resources.
IT is my own opinion. offered here
IN tine size. that if Mexico possessed
no oil or mineral. wealth 10 excite
the cupidity of outsiders she would
long ago have been able TO obtain
a stable government
The president was patient with
Mexico. He wrote several notes
state papers they were ano will held
their place among the great docu-
ments of American diplomacy
in the hope Of reaching an amiCable
adjustment Of differences But his
critics made fun of the note writ
ing, 3nd one day. after be. had read
90 us one Of these letters. a member
Of the cabinet said To him:
Ny President do YOU think
your letters will produce the desired
RESULT" ..,
Tells a Chicken story.
The presidents sense 4 humOr
was quite equal TO enjoying a joke
at his own expense. He could laugh
at himself. He was satisfied. he was
doing the right thing. but he was
not absolutely certain it would bring
the results he sought He could get
the viewpoint OF the public and OF
his critics on the series of notes he