Arizona republican. [volume] (Phoenix, Ariz.) 1890-1930, 1921-02-11
THE ONCE OVER
MUSHROOMS AND eREwERIEs

MUSHROOMS AND 6REWERIES
(The house ways and means COM
mittee has been asked by the Brewers
Board OF Trade to recommend tariff
legislation to protect breweries in
growing mushrooms in abandoned
breweries.)
Come over some day and look over
the brewery; I've got some great stuff
there" Guppert, the brewer. had urged.
And SO the other day / went.
Come right in" said the brewer as
he led the way into the great brick
building that had once been one of the
greatest beer plans in the country. I
followed him into a rather dark build
ing over which hung the cool and damp
atmosphere which made a brewery
such an ideal summer resort on hot
afternoon in the old daze.
Look" he commanded with sweep
Nof his hand. Amt they doing great?'
My eyes had not become accustomed
to the semi darkness. and, as l was
under the impression he was doing il
legal brewing at the old stand. fancied
he referred to some great watts of ale,
or perhaps to some husky brewery
hands who might be hurting kegs back
and forth playfully.
Fine specimens, eh?" asked the
brewer.
squinted hard. but could see nary a
vat-not keg-not a worker any
where.
Have one?' asked the brewer
Sure" ] replied wondering where
he was going to get it.
Here" he said as he leaned over
and then held out something. I reached
eagerly. (Nothing like breaker of
Ncer right out of the tank, thoughD.
N~rNice, eh?" remarked the brewer
''Whotizzit?~ I demanded, realizing
that what I held was no goblet of
brew
Mushroom replied the brewer.
] regarded the plant in my hand with
mingled feelings. wondering whether
II was practical joke or dream.
Have another urged the brewer.
mo, thanks l replied
"'Oh. come on he urged. "One
more"
NO / insisted.
..one more won't hurt you" he
pleaded
1--WE had enough" / urged.
'Whazzamatter?" demanded the
brewer
"Oh." countered feeling certain
was being razzed. II had a big night
last night Got in with a
crowd Of good fellows and took more
mushrooms than / could stand.
never saw 'em come SO fast
rye got an awful head this morning
a sort of mushroom head. as it were
"Mebbe you'd like dark one. in
stead of light" he suggested.
Dark or light, they're the same te
me" / argued.
Here have short one" he
insisted.
t1,a Of he nj &
had given me. 1t tasted bad but
wanted to appear appreciative, ant
sociable.
~whatcher doin'?y he suddenly de
manded. Eating that raw
sure l replied. You seemed t
insist"
idiot" he exclaimed. You cool
en- Amt you never haC
mushrooms?"
rive had everything else. adenoids
sciatica. ETC.. but never mushrooms,
! replied.
BY this time my eyes had become
thoroughly accustomed to the poo
J light. / was standing in a field o
mushrooms Somehow, probabl.
through their resemblance to toad
stools, ! had always associated mush
rooms with frogs. The though
OF seeing frogs in brewery rathe
startled me. The sensation of mush
rooms being crunched under my fee
gave me a creepy feeling. ! starte
toward the door.
What's this business. a joke o
sumpin?" ! demanded. Il accept you
invitation to visit your brewery an
here you try to feed me mushroom
you even festoon me wit
mushrooms seem to be in
sea of mushrooms. In fact
feel like a steak with mushroom
sauce"
He regarded me strangely.
where's the beer2' I demanded
what beer?'' he asked.
xrAin't this brewery" I asked
Oft WAS a brewery" he explaine,
81 thought you understood: it is now
mushroom plant. VIII you step uI