Arizona republican., 1921-12-10
LARDNER WEEKLY LETTER
 By RING W. LARDNER


To the Editor:
 During my visit to Washington vile ago the people that has charge of the automobile traffic in the dist. ! of Columbia was all steamed up over the way motorists was disobeying the laws and what was to be done to learn drivers a lesson and etc. and finely one of the commissioners or something give it as his opinion that the trouble was on acct. of the pen- alties not being severe enough, like for inst. most drivers would rather shoot along about 25 to 30 miles per hr. and run the slight risk of getting arrested once in vile rather than always crawl along like snairs pace and never get nowheres in time for the cocktails. Make the punishment | fit the crime was this guys slogan and 2 of his suggestions was as fol- | lows:
 A motorist caught speeding in the l dist. should be made to draw up to the curb and stay there Is minutes the cop to act as time keeper.
 When a motorist parked his car in a place where parking was not all lowed, or parked too long in a place | where they was a time limit on park | ing, a special patent locking device | would be put on the car by the cop, l and the only keys to the lock would be kept in the various police stations and when the motorist come for his car and found it locked, he would half to go to the nearest police sta ton and give proof that he was the owner of the car and also put up as much money as the police thought the car was worth so in case it turned out that he wasn't the owner, why when the real owner showed up and complained that his car had been stole, they could give him the money instead of bothering to look for his car. This cash bond would be left in the station wk. and if nobody showed up in that time to say the car was his, the dough would be re- turned 10 the guy that put it up.
 Other Offenses
 That is what the dist. commission- CT suggested and I don't know what they done with his suggestions bu; if they really want to stop speeding and illegal parking you can bet your life that those two little amendments to the constitution would do the | trick. But 1t seems to me like they was other things that motorists does which is at least as bad as driveing too fast or parking in the wrong | place and these other things IS also vs. the law but the offender gener- ally always gets let off with fine that don't mean nothing to him whereas the right kind of punishment along the lines suggested by the Washington man would make hin think twice before he misbehaved himself.
 Like for inst. the's a law in most towns vs. driveing with a open muf- fer. The people that disobeys this law is always people that likes t6 show off and make more noise thar anybody else, so as a penalty fol violations of this law I would frs cut their tongues out and then make them spend wk. in boiler factory
 Or suppose a man is caught drive ing past a standing still street car The way to cure him from this habi
 would be to make him back up anC get on the car track behind the street car and follow it around for days Or if he was caught driveing on the left side of the street, why I would make him get on the left hand cal
 track and drive till he met a stree
 car comeing from the other way ant