The Coconino sun., 1921-07-29
CHEERFUL CHIRPS
(By DELI
Mostly except those intervals
 comes along and is grabbed of.

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 Rev. Father c. Vabre tells about Michael Flannigan and Dennis O. Rourke meeting, Mike considerably under the weather.
 "Moike," asked O'Rourke, "why don't yez brace up an lave the dhrink alone?"
 "Oi've thried, Dinnie, but the jobs too big for me-"
 "Thry this once more, Moike. Here's a church forninst us. Go in there, old man, an confiss an take fresh start. I'll wait outside"
 He waited until he was tired, then, peering into the darkened building, said in hoarse whisper:
 "Moikep
 "Phwat?"
 Have yez confssed?"
 "Oi have that"
 "Whar's the praist?"
 "B'gorrah, Dinnie, an Oi think he's gone out to call cop!"
 Walter Durham tells of City Mar shall Rube Neill that when Rube was new in his present job, he got set of six rouge's gallery photographs of a criminal wanted in Kansas City. A week later Rube wired to the Kansas City chief of police:
 q have arrested five of the men and hope to have the sixth within few days"
 Ben Doney says Diogenes didn't ! tr,, fa GnI hapact r-ornan
 Charlie Isham's young son told his Sunday school teacher, who asked her class the meaning of "the quick and the dead," that the quick ones are the ones that get out of the way of the automobile, while the ones that don't are the dead.
 Mir. Mcqueen, of the Santa Fe, has fund of stories bearing on his work as claim agent Here are couple he pulled when he was up here at the stockmen's convention:
 One of the section formen, Swede, filled out blank form report cover ing the killing of a COW by train. He wrote down in the proper spaces the number of the train, number of engine, name of conductor, name of engineer, speed of train, where animal was struck, etc., carefully; then he came to the blank: Disposition of animal" thought while and careful ly wrote: "He bane wan kind and yentle cow"
 Another Swede was the owner of a COW that was killed by train. The claim agent of the railroad called.
 "We understand, of course, that the deceased was very docile and valu- able animal" he said, in his most per- suasive claim-agent manner, land we sympathize with you and your family in your loss. But, Mir. Olsen, you must remember this: Your COW had no business being on our tracks. Those tracks are our private property, and when she invaded them she became a trespasser. Technically speaking, you, as her owner, became trespasser al- so. But we have no desire to carry the issue into court, and possibly give you trouble. Now, then, what would you regard as fair settlement be- tween you and the railroad company?"
 "Val," said MT. Olsen, slowly, "Ay bane poor Swede farmer, but Ay skall give you $2."
 I Old friend E. M. Brown sends in the following under date of July 13 from Santa Monica, Calif.:
 "After sending Irving back the third time to wash his ears, he re- turned with both clean as a whistle. Upon pressing him for an answer as to how he did it, he said: "I used Ruth's toothbrush"
 Then Mir. Brown tells this one:
 "Little Ike was envied by all the neighboring children; cause every week my ladder gifs me two quarters to put in my bank, and I mos got a hundred dollarp
 "One day while in friends house he was heard to say: Sam, you dot a bank just like mine.' He was look ing at the gas meter."
 MT. Brown said the town was full of Elks but that he didn't see many from 499. (Flagstaff.)
 Lew Daughsrty says Sam Hutchi- sons car turned over in the same place his did few years ago. Lew was driving on the other side of the divide and looked Around to see if his gun was in the back of the car, when I. I LII