davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1921-10-06
Baby Accorded Privilege.

Captain Vidal. of the steamship
Canada, which locked at Providence,
R. l., wired his superiors In Mar
settles that a baby boy who was born
aboard the vessel during the passage
from France had been named In honor
of the steamer, Auguste Canada Pera
Lazsr. The officials extended to the
little fellow the lifelong privileges of
the boat, so whenever Canada wishes
to visit France he may do so as q
guest Of the Canada or any other
boat Of the line.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1921-10-06
FLED FROM CHEESE BARRAGE
Commander Of Brazilian Warshlp
Thought Some New Kind Of
Bomb Was Being Used.

Probably the strangest and most
curious use TO which cheese was ever
put occurred in a naval battle between
Brazil and Uruguay In the mid-Nine-
teenth century. records the Inteili-
Relcer.
The Uruguay ship, commanded by
Captain Coe, In the midst of the bat
lie became exhausted Of shot. A lieu
tenant reported the facts to Coe.
Powder oil gone?" asked Coe.
mo, sir; lots Of that yet."
"We had darned hard cheese
round Dutch one-for desert at dinner
today; do you remember it?" said Coe.
II ought to; ! broke the carving
knife In trying to cut 1t. SIR"
"Are there any more aboard?"
"About two dozen. We took them
from a drawer"
''Wfl they go in the 1S-poundersT
by thunder, commodore, but that's
the ideal I'll try 'em."
And in a few minutes the lombard
ing from Goes ship reopened, and the
enemy found more shot flying over
their heads. At last one shot struck
the mainmast, scattering the bits OF
cheese far and wide. Then another
came. Then four or five more slapped
against the SAILS The enemy COM
mander, unable to decide what was
happening, and thinking that a new
kind of bomb was being used on him.
became terrorized and ordered his boat
to back away. Little did he know thu.
he was retreating from barrage Of
Dutch cheese.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1921-10-06
Lakes for Tourists.

Fresh-air lakes are to be found in
great numbers and Of all sizes along
the coast Of Alaska, says the American
Forestry Magazine. The Chugach for
est has Its full share, two which are
typical and easily accessible to the
tourist. being Eysk lake. near Cordova.
along the south shore of which runs
the Copper river and Northwestern
railroad, and Kenai lake, which is in
the heart Of the moose range some
twenty miles north of Seward and is
reached BY the government railroad
skirting enc shore.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1921-10-06
NORWEGIAN LUTHERAN

Rev. Chr. ChrlStlanSen, PASTOR
Services Sunday morning at 1880
A. M. and 7:3O P. M. and at Erfgoe
at 2:3O P. M. (English).
Sunday school $3.50 A. M.
Bible study STuesday evening.
The Ladies Aid will be entertained
at 2arksdale next Tuesday after
noon by Mrs. VIM. Mitchell ard Mrs.
Paul Paulson.
Confirrmant classes meet evnry
Saturday. Norwegian class al
1000 A. NJ, English class at 1880.
Forty -four confrmants have en-
rolled.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1921-10-06

self for the uSual
morning alterca.
ton. "Confound
it., Maria how
many more times
have / got to ask
you to be sure
an d see t h a t
there are no but
tons off my shirt
before YOU put Ii
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1921-10-06
METHODIST EPISCOPAL
d. w. Davis. Pastor

ID. w. DAVIS, PaStOr
Sunday school 9:45 A. NJ, Mrs.
f. T. Beers Supt.
Public worship 400 A. M. and
1880 p. M. The Rev. Edward
Doherty of Bayfield, will speak in
the morning.
Epworth League $3.50 P. M.
Prayer meetings:
Tuesday evening at the home OF
Mrs. H. d: Steele.
Wednesday evening in the church
parlors. 90
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1921-10-06

FOR SALE-The Nels M. Oscar
residence, located opposite Court
House, Modern improvements, in
Guiding hot water heat. One of the
best residences in the city and priced
right for quick sale. Inquire of
w. A. ROBINSON.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1921-10-06
SWEDISH LUTHERAN CHURCH
A. ROard. Pastor.

Washburn, Oct. 2, 1890 A. M.
Ashland, Oct.2, 1880 P. M.
Ashland, Oct. 8, 1890 A. M.
Bayfield, Oct. 9, 1880 P. M.
Washburn Oct. 16, 1880 A. M.
Ashland Oct. 16, 1880 P. M.
Bayfield, Oct. %, 1920 A. M.
Washburn Oct. 20, 1880 P. M.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1921-10-06
SERVICES AT THE CHURCHES

CONGREGATIONAL CHURCH
G. HI. Waters, Pastor.
Sunday schoolg89:45 A. M. Supt.
Mrs. M. Stapleton.
Preaching services II A. M.
Week night meeting Wednesday.
Mems Club second Monday of each
month. sygs~
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1921-10-06
Good Home Butter May Be Produced
With Simple Equipment.

churns. but 1t will not be such good
butter. In summer, when the cattle
are pastured and fed on grass, the
best temperature Is between 81 de-
grees Fahrenheit and 60 degrees Fab
renheit. In winter it will range from
So degrees Fahrenheit to 66 degrees
Fahrenheit. The dry feed, housing
in barns and approaching end of the
iactation period contribute to this DIFF
ference. If the chnrn is not loaded
over one-third full, and not turned too
fast, then butter should come, under
these respective temperatures. In a
firm, granular condition in about thir-
ty to forty minutes. If electricity is
available the churn can be attached to
q motor. but the speed must be regu-
lated to correspond to the best rate Of
hand churning, about sixty revolutions
a minute.
Butter color Is added. If necessary.
when the cream is strained into the
churn. When butter granules are
formed the size of wheat grains II Is
time to strain off the buttermilk and
wash the butter In the churn in two
waters of the same temperature as
the buttermilk. The thermometer is
essential for this, as for all the other
accurate estimates of temperature In
the various steps of butter-making
Three-fourths Of an ounce of salt Is
worked in per pound of butter. The
working of the butter is very impOr-
tant part of me process and should re-
ceive careful attention. Overworked
butter is sticky, greasy In appearance,
and has a gummy grain. Underworked
butter is very apt to be mOttled be-
cause of the uneven distribution OF the
salt.
Complete directions for home butter
making are given In Farmers Bulletin
$40, Making Butter on the Farm, which
also contains suggestions for packing
the butter properly. The bulletin is
free upon application to the Ulited
States Department OF Agriculture
Washington, D. G.
The Washburn times. [volume] (Washburn, Wis.) 1896-1976, 1921-10-06
- The -
Scrap Book
WHY SOME WIVES GO INSANE
just Sample Of What Mrs. BuIlyby
Has to Endure From Her
"Lord and Master"

Mr.. Bullyby came bounding down
the stairs, and his wife prepared her.
The Washington times., 1921-02-04
HUMANlSMS i
william AthertOn Du Puy-

STYLES in youthful strenuous living nave
changed in the last forty years says Dr. Johh
william Summers, representative In Congress
from Walla Walla. Washington. The newsooy
who sleeps in q barrel is today the popular
model but here is how DIR. Summers genera
ton ago blazed the way to success:
He earned his first half dollar on n farm near
Valeene, Ind, planting "three in HILL
hearts up and spit on EN-" lie made another
half dollar trapping rabbits. With the dollar
he bought an orphan calf and named II Jake
After passing through many adventures, such as
falling in a well, Jake grew to such maturity
to sell for 1886.
OF this money 1925 was invested in a pig
which Johnnie Summers started 10 carry .hree
miles on his back in gunny sack The pig
gnawed its way out and escaped, but was re-
captured. That pig became the champion fence
jumper Of Valeene, but after two years was
"baconed" and brought S13s5
1t took a long time to get through normal
one year and school teaching the next, but this
typical of the Middle West did not stop
until he had finished with year in Vienna.
Last summer DR.. E. w. Nelson, the chief of the
biological survey of the Department of Agri-
culture, made the long trip down the river Yu-
kon in Alaska.
1t was not his first trip into this region, for
back In 1877 he had explored much of this coun-
try making some of the early government maps
of it. There were only twenty white men in the
Yukon valley at that time and but one OF these,
DR.. Nelson found, is now living.
The Washington times., 1921-02-04
Suggests Parade of GOUevn-
ment Employee March 4
By BILL PRICE.

The widespread disappointment over the failure to
have oldme inaugural ceremonies March is shown in
many ways and suggestions continue to reach The Times
for some sort of celebration.
Here is one which may receive consideration from
heads of executive departments and bureaus and at least
has the merit of costing nobody anything except the ardent
and enthusiastic employees of Uncle SAM who hate
the day by without public manifestation of good
will and loyalty to outgoing and incoming administrations:
Why would a parade OF officers and
employees Inauguration Day be fitting testimonial Of loyalty
their both the the incoming Chief
Executive? The marches could either by
Departments by States band and
Let hear from live wires Washington is entitled
to sort of celebration March 4th.
CLAYTON L. WILLIAMS,
M. G. EDWARDS.
The Governments employees will probably be granted
holiday March and they could easily arrange inter
esting program if allowed to do SO.
As things look now, there will be thousands of visitors
in Washington, and thousands of home people,
wandering amlessy around the streets trying to
thing-"all dressed up and no place to go.''
The Washington times., 1921-02-04
SOMEBODY WILL DO 1T.

Roe Fulkerson has a motto in his
store, "Just say it can't be done and
then watch some fellow do it," Apro-
pos of this mighty useful thought to
every hustling man or woman,
"PASSAIC" sends in this along the
same line:
Somebody said 1t couldn't be done.
But he, with a chuckle. replied:
Maybe IL can't, but i won't be the one
To say so till I've tried!"
So he buckled right in with trace Of q
grin.
IL he worried he hid IL!
He started to sing as he tackled the thing
That couldn't be done, and he did 1t.
There are thousands to tell you it can't be
done,
There are thousands to prophecy failure:
There are Thousands who'll point out one
by one
The dangers that wait to assail you!
But just buckle right in. with bit of
grin.
Then take of your coat and 60 to it:
Just start in to sing you tackle the
the thing
That can not be DONE" and you'll do it,!
The Washington times., 1921-02-04
The March
of EUents
n HE news dispatches from over
seas allege that England and
E,ran.a axv~aof tho TTpitad Statas
rIRST killing in Ireland under
II the martial law Wednesday.

Cornelius Murphy, a farmer of
Kerry, was caught by the English
forces Gin possession of a loaded re-
volver." There was no other charge.
He was taken out and shot. That is
one way to opacity Ireland" 1t is a
way that will scarcely work under
modern conditions. Cromwell could
make it work by "shooting every
tenth man and sending the rest to
the galleys." But with public opin-
ion as it stands now, England will
probably only shoot enough farmers
to drive the others to desperate re-
sistance, and will not dare shoot
enough to make the job effective.
"Japan feels in honor bound,"
says a message from Tokyo, "to ac-
cept the challenge Of the United
States in shipbuilding." Japan
thinks the United States must mean
mischief with so big a navy.
Heaven knows what the frog
thought about the OK when it tried
to blow itself up to the size of the OK.
But history teaches us that the frog
made mistake.
There was no reason why the frog
should accept the ox's challenge"
as to bigness, and there is no reason
why Japan should consider that the
United States is issuing any "chal-
lenge" when this country builds
ships to look after its coasts, its mer-
camille fleet, and its citizens. In the
late war we got a lesson that cost us
thirty or forty billion dollars at home
and a non-collectible loan of ten bill
lions abroad. A big navy is only rea-
The Washington times., 1921-02-04
That German Indemnity
PROPOSAL Is Fantastic

IN HE news dispatches from over
seas allege that England and
France expect the United States
to support them in their decision
that Germany shall pay an indem-
nifty Of about sixty billions.
If the statesmen Of these two ma
tions have formulated a program
which depends upon the soundness
of an assumption that the United
States will support them in any
project that will destroy Germany
as purchaser of goods that we have
to sell and as a producer of goods
we want to buy, then these alleged
statesmen are reckoning without
their host.
The American people will not un-
derwrite any indemnity-collecting
schemes against Germany because
we are under not the slightest moral
obligation to do so, and because it
is, moreover, very much against our
interest to do so.
The absence of moral obligation in
the matter is clear. We went to war
with Germany to vindicate our
rights on the sea and to make the
world safe from any danger which
might threaten it from the German
military and junker class and their
Kaiser.
We solemnly proclaimed that we
did not war against the German
people, that we did not hold them
responsible for the acts Of their
masters, and that we sought to make
them free in our great crusade to
make the world safe for democracy.
France and England, always pre-
tending that their objects were de-
fensive and democratic, said
amen"
Finally the German people took
us at our word that we made no war
upon them, overthrew their govern
ment, set up a republic more demo
cratic than our own-and sued for
The Washington times., 1921-02-04
FROM THE PUBLIC
Is HE RIGHTf
OR OF THE TIMES:

TO THE EDITOR OF THE TINES:
immortality is inevitable, and because our es-
Unable reformers refuse to accept this simple
truth, their efforts are seldom satisfactorily re-
warded immortality, like nature, abhors q
vacuum. When it is suppressed here, 1t springs
up over there; disguised. perhaps; cloaked in an
endeavor to hide Its identity, but immortality
nevertheless.
The very roots of intellectual attainment are
often found imbedded in the depths Of physical
or moral rottenness or both. Cat-gut is an es-
sential to the rendition on the violin Of an in
depreciation OF the soul Crude canvas is the
basis of the most wonderful works of art. You
do not like to think of cat-gut when you are
listening to an inspired violin solo7 You do not
like to think Of disease and immortality yet they
are very intimately associated with life. They
are the barriers in the pathway toward physical
and moral perfection, and you will agree bar
riers are necessary for they inspire effort, and
where there are no barriers to overcome endeav-
ceases to exist.
Perhaps some day we shall reach physical
and moral perfection, but IL continue In that
unhappy state for any length of time. we shall
all be ready to die from utter boredom. Until
that time arrives. reformers will continue to
work in a circular pathway. over which many
have trod and to little avail
HAROLD p. STODDARD.
The Washington times., 1921-02-04
II HELEN WIS name is Hell
EN- WINTER what would 1t be
in summer? FRED II.
PRETTY CLOSE TO POETRY.

Every evening after dinner,
And there's nothing else to do,
begin to think of some one.
And often. Rll. it's about you.
And when you read this junk
And all that other crazy stun
guess you'll know, Bill,
When you've got enough.
And SO, dear old boss of ii and y,
As nut / know best.
You must go to bed
And get a good nights rest;
SO you can get up tomorrow
And go through IL all agin
Il say It's n perfect SIM
But we need the junk and the fun
And you're just the right sun-of-sgun.
GEORGETOWN NUT.
Brideet-Patrick, 1 want yez to buy
us an oitermobile!
Pat-Yez mustn't be after having
Chevy Chase ideas on a Schwamp-
oodle income.
JULES BACKENHEIMER.
The Washington times., 1921-02-04
SENATORS, SALARIES.

TO THE EDITOR OF THE TIMES:
During these strenuous days. and. others TO
come, the request OF Senator Sherman, of Illinois
tabout to retire-others should) for higher
Senate pay" saying "a Senator could not live
within his salary. and put aside any savings"
Wonder what the Government, which origi-
mated for the people, and by the people, but
which In not (only for the moneyed, as Roose-
welt said, to oppress and grind the poor) and
pay the unesrned tby some) high salary to self
ish officials, thinks OF the undernoprshed tbe-
cause of inadequate pay) individuals and their
whitfield salaries, paid by the Government.
II the poorly paid tD" Senators cannot live
on their salaries, why not awaken to the rights
OF others, besides themselves A CITIZEN
The Washington times., 1921-02-04
ss11EARn, n,n55EErA

ANSWERS TO QUERIES.
What should do when i see a
pretty girl with her stockings on
wrong side out?-EAGLE EYE.
Why, turn the hose on her.
III in doubt about kissing a girl,
what should i do?-JOEJOE.
Give her the benefit of the doubt.
What's to be done with a woman
wearing a Mother Hubbard?-STYLE.
Gtpe her a belt
H. ID. BILLINGS.
There was an old man from Duauesne,
Who awoke with a terrible pense.
He gave q great shout,
And then he pulled out
A tack upon which he had lesne.
l. b.
The Washington times., 1921-02-04
Wednesday was sausage day
ground-hog. III. ID. BILLINGS.
A clever guy
Is Henry Fashion
He eats grape fruit
without 1t 'p'''h'n'' OHIO.

THE BACHELORS CLUB.
The Bachelors Club" OF Wash
ington contributes the following ar
rangement Of the names OF members
of the club, spelling the name Of the
club, and solicits suggestions as to a
better arrangement:
r. L. HardisTy
w. G. Hammett
wsE. GrovErman
II. E. Brady
A. II. Laird
Il. r.. GasCh
j. w. Hammett
+. Il. LEWIS
+. T. Fuller
n. II. Moore
e. Il. Moore
L. c. Ardesser
c. J. Dowd
w. ]. MonrAn
w. w. Jones
T. c. Hammett
II. A. MoulDen
n. D. schlesei
The Washington times., 1921-02-04
TESTING BILL BROWN.

Old Bill Brown was a good old soul,
He tried to be preserved in alcohol.
He soaked and he soaked like \ shingls
roof.
Till everybody said, Hes 1oo-proof"
Bill couldn't stop with the voIstead Act,
So he skidded onto the Bootleg track.
Wood alcohol rang Bills last knell,
Needless to say. Bill went to -.
The Devil said, We'll get at the truth,
And see II you're really l00-proof"
The little Devils all began to bawl,
He'll burn all the better for the alcohol"
ST. CLOPS.
The Washington times., 1921-02-04

When you once wrote the Dis
trict Commissioners (all of them
being men) you started out
your letter, Gentlemen" Now
that we have one woman Com
missioner, how do you start your
letter of? INQUIRER.
The Washington times., 1921-02-04

A touch of daring Is lent
to the frock by a brilliant
black crepe draped in
Please-Omit-Flowers style.
The lines are as beautiful
as an East River tugboat.
A wagonload of empty bar
rels will look like a limou-
sine loaded with Fifth ave-
nue. models.
The Washington times., 1921-02-04

Now. the ladies can get
even by designing mems
clothes. What is soup for
the goose is consomme for
the gander. At present
there are two sexes in
America, and the feminine
would be the vaincst IL 1t
weren't for the male.
The Washington times., 1921-02-04
STRATEGY.

SlhA1EGf.
Ruby and Mary both wanted to
play with the dolly at the same time.
Say. Mary" said Ruby. you be the
nurse and I'll he the mamma"
Mary toyfully agreed.
Hand me the baby" said Ruby
This is your Tuesday afternoon on
The Washington times., 1921-02-04

Make the boys wear po-
tato sacks and Congress
CATERS for a while and
hear them publish a
squawk that will roll
through the valleys and
reverberate on the noun
tain sides.
The Washington times., 1921-02-04
Maggie wouldn't show the
photograph album of the fam
lily to her beau because she
didn't want him to see the poor
traits of the family.
H. SMITH.
THE ANAGRAM STREETS.

H. SMITH. AJAX" and others
worked out the anagram streets of
NOAH COUNT" They are Critten-
den. Fessenden, Twenty-third, ALI
son, Columbia, Buchanan, Fairmont,
Marion, Kingman, East Capitol.
The Washington times., 1921-02-04
IT'S ALL YOURS.
This is supplied by r. II. A., as q

mn
This is supplied by r. II. A., as a
change from wit and humor:
The occult faculty of suppressive
irrelevsncy IL purely Inconsistent with
didactic proverbialism. For with the
end in view that persistency In human
proclivities In based upon hysterical
hypcrbois nothing can be loss verbose.
why then does the human intellect
collect all the ideslism Of the antiquity
Of binocular antithesis1 All animal
idiosyneracy dependent on trsnscen-
, dentslism II diurpslly nonstnstcaL
"Bechheimer tvol H. In his PareN-
tai Fantasia has proven that the anil
msdversion Of all vegetable life is YER
nacular; hence II can not escape the
optimistic promptitudc OF tho obliss-
tory"
Thief-"Yer money er yer life"
Pst-"Take me life, man, I'm ssvin'
mo money for me old age"
sALoNH
The Washington times., 1921-02-04

Tho trouble with reform
ers is that they think the
whole army is out of step
because they themselves
started out on the wrong
foot. And the first thing
they pick on Is a beautiful,
frail woman who has but
one vote and who screams
pitifully for help as she
knocks her husband cold
with the leg OF a chair.
The Washington times., 1921-02-04

speclncatlOns OF our war objects.
We called upon our associates to
say whether or not they would ac-
cept peace upon the fourteen points.
They agreed to do so and the armi-
stice was signed upon the under
standing that the permanent peace
was to be negotiated upon the four
teen points.
That our President Joined with
France and England in dishonoring
their agreement after Germany, re-
lying upon their faith, had rendered
herself helpless at the armistice,
raises no obligations on our part.
The American people never rati-
fed the Presidents dishonorable
reputation of the armistice terms
in the treaty of Versailles, and they
never will.
The Senate refused to ratify the
Versailles treaty and the American
people confirmed the Senate s action
and condemned the President by the
largest majority ever given against
an issue in our history. .
We have accomplished the objects
for which we went to war. The Ger
man sea power is destroyed. The
war lord and his cohorts are as dead
as the companions of the last rose
of summer. Democracy is estab-
lished in Germany and will not be
overthrown except by the folly of
our late associates in the war.
The settlements of the war made
by our late associates and treacher-
ously forced on Germany we have al
ready by tremendous popular vote
refused to approve. We shall make
our own peace with Germany.
Our interest to see Germany rise
out of her ashes is also clear. AS
members of the great human family
and Christians we do not want to
see a race of sixty millions con-
demned to economic, if not political,
slavery and to the still worse
slavery of despair.
sonable insurance against repeating
that kind Of an experiment. If Japan
wants to be the frog in the fable, let
her go ahead and swell, but it is
mistake.
AS long as Japan behaves, this
country will bother her no more than
that OK bothered the exploding frog.
Mr.. Harding as President will pay
eighteen thousand dollars income
tax out of the seventy-five, thousand
that the country gives him. Mr..
Wilson paid no tax on his salary be-
cause the Supreme Court decided
that he need not, as he became Presi-
dent before the tax started. Mr.
Harding will not be influenced by
his own income tax; he already had
an income tax to pay, but he will
realize that while the income tax
is the RIGHT tax, reasonable
economy in public expenditure
is also right.
Mr.. Harding prepares to begin in !
the right way by saying that he
isn't going to try to please every
body.
He has read the fable of the
father, son and donkey. The son
rode the donkey; somebody objected.
Then the father rode and the son
walked. Another man objected.
Then father and son both rode the
donkey. A kindhearted 'person OBJ
jected. Then father and son tried
to carry the donkey, and they all
fell into the brook.
Under our system of Government
the President comes pretty close to
being an autocrat. If he shows that
he hasn't the energy to be an auto