The New York herald., 1921-02-20
Humor That Flashes in the Subway

street, where Yogis, Swamis yokels and yaps
have been known to mingle to the greater
glory of civilization. Itow danced several of
his exotic Oriental numbers and the gather
ing applauded loudly enough to be heard
above their own chatter.
The artist retired into another room. and
the hostess, entering a few moments later,
was surprised TO discover that after all that
acclaim he had tainted. On reviving n bit,
though still weak he was able to explain
that after the custom of number of per-
formers before their act. he hadn't eaten any
thing in order that his personality might be
occupied with expression rather than diges-
ton. Ordinarily he lives mainly on inspira-
tion anyhow, but the lack of his usual pro-
vender-a heavy meal for a canary-com-
bined with a hearty helping of applause and
the strenuous dancing had caused him to
have a fit OF Nirvana.
Taking compassion on him, the hostess
delved into pantry and brought out n bottle
of sherry, n rare antique which she was re-
solved to lavish on him to show the extent
OF her sympathy. Itow drank nearly the
whole bottle, Immediately scrambled TO his
feet expressed himself as greatly refreshed,
and skipped off like swallow.
Then his hostess discovered from the resi-
due in the bottle that its content actually
was pure vinegar. which Itow had en-
Enthusiastically imbibed and responded to in
the belief that it was a native American
wine.
TIME statue of the doughboy is back on
the pedestal Of the soldiers memorial
outside the Richmond Borough Hall
at st. George. and the burghers of Staten
Island again glow at the thought that its
rightful place in the world has been re-
stored to the monument which they proudly
consider the poitest in the world.
The accommodating character of the
bronze was shown recently in an affair with
one of those huge army trucks that are
always hurrying somewhere TO save the
nation. The truck was rushing down TO tho
vehicular causeway leading to the ferry
boats when IL failed TO cooperate with tho
infantry represented by the statue and side
wiped t. The statue instead OF having any
muss with the truck and falling upon the
driver Immediately stepped off its pedestal
And so considerably did It leave It's place
that the driver didn't know till afterward
that he had knocked some Of staten Islands
history Off its perch.
A WILD clang OF fire bells on cold
~ night recently in Long Island town
aroused the slumbering inhabitants
around o'clock to a realization that life is
real, life Is earnest. All streamed out OF
houses in the informal attire affected at
such impromptu house warnings. and tho
fremen rushed TO the scene, herolcally sac
rihcing the evenings pinochle game. When
they arrived they discovered the only sign
OF combustion was In the head Of a promi-
nent actor, who. staying at another thes-
plans home for the night, had looked upon
the wine when II was prohibited and de-
cided after the tenth glass that It was high
time the whole village was brought there 70
listen to a speech from him. SO he had is-
sued his invitation by means OF the FIRE
alarm.
And then" said disgusted fireman "he
made the worst speech I ever heardl He
talked from his porch on prohibition until
we put him out with the hose