New Britain herald., 1921-10-28
MY MARRIAGE PROBLEMS
 Ne of REVEL LATIONS OF A WIFE

}, bean ceuld be trepanned or somethins like that so a. person could look into 1t. Here I've been quadrupling in brass for days as Sir Galahad, Josepr, St. Anthony and Gladstone Dowie,, and taking your part in everything that csme up. Almost any other wife would appreciate the way I've been acting, but here, the first thing I ask of you, you make a thousand-foo as tension, and call me a Grand Turk. The trouble ~s;th you, my lady, is that I"e never been Grand Turk enough. If I'd kept a tight rein on you all these years you wouldn't prance quite so much now.'
 If only some automatic muzzle could be contrived which at the first symptom of a family row would spring to the jaws of both husband and wife and clamp them tightly un- til their temper passed I I believe many disunited family would be still happy. There is no cleverness SC hendish as that with which an angry husband or wife can find the raw srot on the others nerves, and pro- ceed to drop vitriol cup oit Al Dicky's stinging phrases I forgot the long wonderful summer we had had unspoiled by recriminations, and seize instinctively, almost subcon sciously, the weapon surest to flick him upon the raw.
 A Mischievous Thought.
 T did not realize,' said icely, pre- tending to take seriously the refer %o Ho1o y1,:~ I~ made jestingly, that you were mak. Ing so strenuous sacrifice in re- polling Miss Deans Vaccinations
 Pray do not let any thought of mt stand n your way, for it doesn't mat ter whit to me one way or the other. Another type of wife, a. you say, would no doubt appreciate your heroic efforts, but. really, I can not see any particular reason in you1
 behavior why I should give up m,
 own individuality in my dress" I walked into the little bedroom as I spoke, and closed the door witt | more rudeness than dignity upol l Dlcky's retorting speech, which be gun:
 Well, if individuality in dress fo | ycu-"
 The closing door punctured his re l tort with full stop. I guessed witt that part of my brain which was coo underneath the anger, that he ac | cepted the slamming door for wha I meant it, a summary interruption l to the quarrel. I did not wish hin | to finish his sentence, which I wa sure would be "a distinct command t wear the skirt to my mountain suit | for then my feminine obstinac , which I mentally camoufaged a | scf-respect, would have compelle me to omit it. And I knew that h 4 Was just asceanxious to avoid a dis tinct issue as I was.
 The slam I had given the door ha given vent to great deal of m
 choler, and the rest of it vanishe
 as soon as I let my sense of humo
 out of the jail cell into which I ha
 shut it at Dicky's strictures Tn
 whole thing, after all was so silly
 Yet how to mend it without, giving i
 mpletely--something s which m
 knowledge of Dicky had taught m Twas a most. unwise thing to do afte | Ills OutDTedk--CndC was my prODIen
 I knew that if I could make Dick
 laugh, even the remembrance of tI quarrel would be plotted out, an with. a sudden mischievous thougl I slipped out of the bedroom door every room in the chack has an ou side door-sped to Mrs. Cosgrove
 kitchen, and whisked her away fro 1 the dishes to the privacy of her oN room.
 Il Tell me- demanded, "have ye T by any chance < one of those ol : fashioned skirts that almost swet n the floor in length?' - tl Plenty of 'em,'' she returne
 I'm saving 'em till the fool fashio S swing around so we have to swe. o up all the dirt in the road agai y Then I'll he right in style If woms could only be patient and ot thro 1T away her clothes she would be in a
 vance of the latest about every SC ' tn years.
 Will you lend me one for a fe D. nours?" l asked. "I'll promise not