The Washington herald., 1921-01-20
Obtains Real
Marion NeUs
EXCLUSIVE Scoops EUoIUed
At Harding Home by
Journalist.
by LABERT ST. CLAIR.

For many months the big news
agencies and the papers have been
sending men to Marion. Ohio, TO
write pieces about President-eIect
Harding and they have done so
, without getting anywhere in par
! ticular. They have started there as
reporters, but become political fore
casters and journalists on arrival,
with the result that they have writ
ten much dope and little news.
Realizing that because of this sit
uation the public was being de-
prived of much information regard
ing the true situation in Marion,
this department recently despatched
Mr.. Earl Goodwin, once a great re-
porter, but now a glad-hand artist
for the telephone interests, to Ma
rion to get some real news. He
spent one day there last week and
has just turned in these items:
One of the best little busts of the
President-elect that ever was made
is being used by the newspaper men
for hat and coat rack and if some
body does not rescue it the same
will go to rack and ruin.
The, little White House" in which
The President-eleCt, newspaper men
and others have been transacting
business is so small that il anyone
with a bunion ever gets within its
portals during working hours, he
will be eleCtroCUtcd by the first pas
serby.
Some day you are going to hear
of two terrible deaths by suffoca-
! tion, in which a Marion cop and
a government secret service man
will be the victims. They are as
signed to watching the Harding
gate, and have been provided with
coop that is not broad enough
| across to accommodate couple OF
! penmanship professors, let alone a
couple of cops. They are wedged in
SO tightly that TO save space both
men have had the fronts of their
vests sewed up and put the buttons
on the sides.
While your correspondent was
present, a delegation of farmers
called to see the President-elect,
and, while waiting admission to the
executive offices, they got together
in a group on the front porch and
| practiced their speeches, with ges-
| lures. One of the gestures carried
| off dead morning glory vine and
couple of yards of poultry netting.
The Marion Star. which the Sena-
tor owns, never will put any OF the
| larger papers like the New York
Times out of business.
We asked the Senator who he was
going to put in his cabinet and he
/ said he did not know, so that set
/ ties that
Such trifling things as the per-
sonnel of the next Cabinet having
been disposed of. the league of ma
tions having been laid on the shelf
for the time and the President hav-
ing refused to accept S15O.Oo0 for
writing story, it seems that II
might be Just as well to tell a
| fish story.
This is a yarn that Sam Gray,
shorthand expert of the House, tells
| and he says he can prove the truth
of 1t by Senator Jim Wadsworth'
| former Senator Elihu Root, Bit
Barnes and a lot of other folks who
| could not tell a lie. anyhow, and
here 1t is.
Last summer, while Sam was In
upper New York resting, he drop
ped over to Cayuga lake one day.
to see If any fish were being caught.
| There on the bank lay a trout
weighing in the vicinity Of nine
teen pounds. 1t was one OF the
grapdest trout ever seen in those
| parts, or any other parts so FAR as
that is concerned.
Sam Immediately looked up the
man who caught the fish ana In
quired IL he had experienced mucn
trouble in landing it.
mo. not much" the fisherman
said, "in fact 1 don't use anything
but my nose"
sam braced himself and the FISH
erman went on.