The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1921-07-11
ON SECOND THOUGHT
By JAY E. HOUSE
(From Philadelphia Public Ledger.l
That,s What Thcx AM Sow.

sir went TO the Broad street
station on the morning of July ac-
companied by an alienist. a private
detective and a young aviator who
had bombed Germany. We carefully
4 looked over every man in a blue serge
suit with a funny face and the other
accessories. We saw nothing very
comical and are now satisfied you
sidestepped the appointment. G.. B.
E. was also there with very expen
] sive hat, which, of course, he does
! phoning your office I was told you
gave due notice you would not be in
| the station. 1 missed this warning,
for find simply cannot read the
column every day I do think the
| least you could have done would have
been to send Adelaide in your place.
1t was she we wished to see, anyhow,
/ in order to ask her a few questions
and answer them for her. We are
sure you never let her see the column
and that she has no idea of the ex-
traordinary collection of unrestrained
views possessed by its perpetrator.
Her eyes should be opened and the
manacles struck from her wrists. 1
ask that the next time you can think
of nothing to write for the column
you call for volunteers. should very
much like to take it over for one day
just the way one gives the house an
| airing. E. 5. L.
/
| for this mornings paper. and so we
print E. S. rs letter. But we decided,
after reading it, that there were at
least two of us who could think Of
| nothing to say. The difference is that
| the professional who has nothing to
say can do it in half a dozen lines.
The professional requires from a
quarter to a half column.
The gentleman who is sending us
| literature in which are projected the
! joys of shaving oneself does not. we
are sure, from the kindliest and most
unselfish motives. But he is making
no Roadway, and he is no real friend
| of ours.
There is to us no more odious or
distressing task, And besides that, it
breeds untruth and hypocrisy There
is something about shaving oneself
that breaks down the moral fiber. A
man whose honesty in every other re-
spect is unquestioned and impeccable
will weaken under the strain of shaw
ing himself to claim that he can per-
form the operation better than a bar
Der and that he can do it in less than
five minutes.
We travelled for time last summer
in the motor car OF a most estimable
and well meaning gentleman who
claims he can shave himself better
than a barber and in less than five
minutes. We never were on our way
before 10 o'clock in the forenoon, al
tho we always planned an early start
reason we were detained was that we
| had to wait until he shaved.
One who signs herself MARY jones'
writes to ask us to stop our mudsling-
| ing We'd do almost anything to
! oblige a lady. We said almost"
There are one or two concessions we
cannot make. We must go on with
4 our '.mudslinging." We insist on be-
| ing a moral reprobate and a bad man.
Nobody shall rob US of those dis
tinctions.
To prove that we are willing to do
almost anything for lady, we yes
| terday undertook a most unusual
commission. A young woman of our
acquaintance@a vary charming young
woman by the way-wants a cub
bear. For her we have undertaken
to get in touch with those who have
cub bears of which they wish to dis
pose or who are likely to have. Such
as these are asked to get into COM
munication with the column.
We don't know what she wants
with it and it is nothing to us. A
woman has commanded. We shall
endeavor to serve her.
G. Z. B. insists that we make full
and complete acknowledgment of the
receipt OF the order for the hat. We
take pleasure in doing so. G.. B. E.
| is a good sport. He didn't bubble
and he made no attempt to inter-
polate an alibi. He sent us an order
for a hat directed to one of the nifti-
est haberdasheries in town. We have
not yet presented it for collection,
but we shall do so.
More than that, G. B. e. picked
out our favorite haberdashery-the
one in which an earnest salesman
tried last winter to sell us made-up
tie.
Time brings about great changes
It is now possible to purchase mo-
torcar without kissing either the
salesman or the sales manager.
We don't know whether there is
anything in Mr.. George Bernard
Shaw's contention that Carpenter won
a moral victory. All we know Is that
1t Is this countrys favorite alibi.
1 @1nUusrHsA n6ARR MRAD I