The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1921-12-07
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HERE LIES MANS ANCIENT ENEMY.
BILL CABE-
IL wHe D,sINTFHs 1HE UNLovED cUsA
BEWAREi
CALL FOR CAUsTIC CRITICS.

CALL FOR CAUsTIC CRITICS.
When I'm patted ON the back do not like it;
In fact the patting makes me rather sore
And when people compliment me not one bit
does it content me
Au contraire, but long to spill their gore.
long to feel the barbs of criticism,
I'D Like to hear some caastic person say
That this colyum is begotten by an intellect
that's rotten
At any rate that's how feel today.
do not care to hear, Your stuff is good, sir. !"
1 have no comeback then except to smile;
But / long for some bonbaStc one to sheer
in tones sarcastic:
Your stuf's decadent, putrid-worse than
vile"
lack appreciation of the flowers
I'll get enough when have passed away!-
Nasty knocks are what I'm strong for, only
things / really long for
At any rate that's how feel today.
1 wish some one would voice the intimation
That 1 am batty|oco-far from bright;
That the coiyum's simply awful, that its con-
tents are unlawful
For, man, man, I'm spelling for a fight!
There is nothing that could give me greater
pleasure
Than slashing, iabbing, gouging verbal
Nothing else could better please me-nothng
else can e'er appease me!
At any rate that's how 1 feel today.
CONTINUING in the same vein, as 'twere,
we want to add emphasis to cordial in
vitation for somebody-anybody-t start a
verbal shindy with We could hope (al-
most that the disarmament conference might
fail so that we could join in a nice, CORY war
Our Christmas spirit has been replaced by a
kickem spirit. The reason for all this?
Well, mates, tits a long and eerie tale and
mayhap 'twere better left untold
A Fatal Spot
Illinois City Corr, The August
We are sorry to say the smallpox has
started up again. Mrs. Clyde Kent has
it down at the foot Of the Bluff Hill.
SIGN on a local eatery on Fourth avenue
between goth and 21st streets (as Iamped by
the H. RI:
Chops and Stakes.
A stake is furnished with every chop we
surmise for the purpose of holding it help
less during the attack.
THE WISDOM OF SOLOMON
Which is the better? The Guileless Youth
with Crooked Nose and a Receding Chin, in
whose Pants Pockets much Spondulix abound
eth;
Or Bronze Apollo, who getteth In Bad,
and over whom much Swill is spilled;
Or the Independent Farmer who selieth his
Corn for twenty-seven cents per Measure,
which costeth him twenty-seven cents per
Measure to Produce
Or the gluttonous Bar Fly who throweth
Pies. and stoppeth them with his Face or Pro-
tuberant Stomach when thrown by others, and
who payeth great Fees TO Lawyers
Verify, the Devil singeth the little song
The World Falleth for Ne.
Yea, the Swelling on the Face of the World
is not Climax, but Toothache
The Devil wisheth to cop the World ard
Many giveth him their service Gratis.
Who prefers War to Peace?
Worthy are the Efforts Of those who S+riva
to secure the Peace OF All Peoples, Many
there are who if it cometh TO pass will honor
Forever the names of those who strive.
The League of Nations perhaps was not
Perfect, but he who deviseth Something Better
hath no Pic mic in Producing 1t.
And Woodrow Wilson blazed the way.
And the American People have Ideals too.
They have Suffered and Died for them. That
is why Our Country is Great.
Who knoweth the Moment when some one
who hyeth in an European Alley may rise up
and exclaimeth, Ye Kicked my Dog; and again
starteth Helluva Rumpus. which may en-
broileth the Whole Neighborhood.
Verify, from the time Little Alex disposed of
his Confectionery Store and sighed for Other
Worlds to Conquer, to the days PIestina and
zbyszko tackled Frank Gotch, hath not the
European Population to take the well known
Flop, even to Wilhelm and Karl: but who
careth Rap for Them?
have And Sdo6 many Black Eyes and Cracked Ribs
And many Chips are carried on Shoulders
to this Day.
Verify the World Changeth
Was not Allagnadigster Kaiser und Herr
Popular Whoop?
But now Johnny Crapaud crfeth, Batrachia
lie Govermets
But the World needeth Peace.
We hope Mr. Hughes Turneth the Trick.
SOLOMON PIFFTE
DID some one say women are vain? Well
perhaps they are But t'other eve we boarded
bridge line and found a seat near tho
front END. Directly opposite sat a gentleman
who, while not exact double for Ickebo5
Crane, easily could refUte the charge that he
was handsome AS our idle gaze rested upon
MIN for moment and started to flicker away
1t was arrested by the sudden removal of his
hat Holding the hat before his face he care
fully smoothed few stray hairs (Which one
might have sworn were painted on his headl
patted his cheeks, caressed his nose and then
as carefully placed the hat atop his dome
Say. fellows, do YOU wear a mirror in worm
hat?
ONE SIDE OF PROHIBITION.
Whatever else may happen.
Although the country's drv