The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1921-02-01
LETTERS TOTHE EDITOR

Editor, Barre Times; I've seen las
week on Chelsea Heroic, whole lou more
dem toughts wot Saline Lapiere, who
now liv on Springfield, ben trouble VIA
all hes life, more or less. an now tryln
to get out of his system tru de avenu
of mental extraction an de columns OF
dat pape, an while she doing mighty
good lob all by hisself, | tink some
body got to come to his rescue right
away or shell die from effec OF a agri-
fed cases of over production OF mental
alteration
I've seen somewhere, sometam, where
big rewards ben pay by Woodrow Car
ngy or Rockfelly Ford for life savin
stunts, an | tink / see my chance now
to pull down one of dem heroic re-
wards by jump in at dis tam to
save Saline from mos tragic death
from drowning, wild water, home brew
or some udder dam ting on hes brain
I've know Saline for long tam an
she's always ben mighty good felly an
do whole lot of tink wild his head, an
some wild hes hans, which has always
been more or less harmless, but now
shes go down on Springfield, de present
j caption Ol Nt VIM 0thtt anu ESN 'hN'N
she hob mob wild what powers dat be,
feel mighty scare dat some screw GO
ing work loose into her steerin gear
an nobody can make safe guess where
she going land, now she begin to pull
her trottle wide open an take all de
grades on high.
| say, Saline, slow down. Wait a
mint! Safety first. Pull down your
flivver to at least sixty miles a hour
so | can have a chance to catch up
wild you, and reach Montpelee by de
tam YOU get dere as | want little con.
suit wild you fore you trow dat bill,
] frame for you, on legislature You
know | pretty much interest on dat
bill, | spent so many hard, long work
putting frame roun an | much anxiety
she pass both house, an de governor
too, before she become de law of dis
commonwealth because if she get by all
tree widout bein punch full OF hole and
widout gitin a rider hitch TO de skirt
Of her garment, you bet she max some
| law which max folks tax notice an
will evolutionary dc Who'll movie biz
ness, an max for me an you big man,
almos lax wot Geo. Wash. had, tOwick:
ladder Of his country Eth, Bill? tex
cuse me exposin you face mean
Saline
An again ! say Saline, you wait
] til | git thar for nudder reason. While |
you originate dis ting, an git ME to
frame up de Who'll bizness for de big
court. you no rite to introduction dis
important measure an try an put him
across alone, an swipe de Who'll glorii
cation for you own grab bag. | say un-
der de circumstance | have rite to
make you let me in on dis big deal
on $3.50 basis an give me chance to
stan behine you back til every bone in
YOU measly carcass is cave in, an you
diafram is knock gally west, an all the
members Of de big court tink dey got you
down an out an put de kibosh on dis
great revolutionary measure.
Den | will step out into de open an
stan on you PROSTATE frame, to emta-
size de fac dat in unity there is
strength, when ] will tell dem Teller
an de Who'll worl dat Woodlow Wilsing
Who'll leag Of notion bizness don't com
parson wild de Importance OF dis dras-
I tic measure full OF impregnate for de
good OF evry boy an CARL in dis an
Ievry udder country which up to dis
writin hain't become extunk. An, If
find thar is any danger of defeat on de
final show down, I'll have to slip down
onto de carpet an pussyfoot aroun
among de members an git de Who'll ting
laid on de table. tan at de same tam
I'll shove YOU under de table, until ]
can git Hallen & Fiunderhill to come
up from Chelsea an 90 before de House
Senate, gunner an his cabinet in joint
assemblage. wild their movie outfit, an
trow on de screen Who'll lot of dat
highwayman, short skirt low neck, Eve
in Adams garden, kiss an hugg stuff
you tole about an I'll bet you toI
lG, when we 90 before dat great tri-
umvary for de third an las tam, Il hope
you have come TO an got out from un-
der de table by dat tam and squared
yourself ready to 90 over de top wild
me wen put dat Who'll ting across so
fass an furious a Who'll squadron of
motorcycle police armed wild machin
gun loaded to de muzze wild grape
fruit and cantelope. can't stop her yet
Dere, wot you tink now Saline. Ain
YOU dam glad you wait for me, ehy
Now We put dat big ting over an she |
become law, il neces,are put me an you
on forefront of national band wagon,
an we soon pull down big job as movie !
censor, an wear swally-tail coat an
stove pipe hat wild reversible elbow in |
her An nudder ting, Saline, now we
on inside we amt have TO depend on
home brew any more.
When you precipitat nudder big tink |
/ L., Ia, 4 "a
country safe for democrat anywhar,
sen her up ain | put frame on her an
we 90 up TO big court agin snytam, as
II look now lax dem Teller going rails |
der per dunn and milage huff to max
il pay 10 stick on de job year roun.
Yours for more bizness,
Antwine Demo. |
Chelsea, Vt, Jan. IS, 1921.