The central record. (Lancaster, Ky.) 18??-current, 1921-03-10

Z IlGneyhug + good story-tclier. and be
was telling Us bully yarn. and for
n brief season We forgot the burdens
laid upon US, which are greater than
We can bear n You could tell story
MS well a. lIoueyhug does. I'D ON these
ancestral halls with slivery laughter.
! hut you never try 20 say anything
amusing Mrs. Jnmesworthy. You do
tell stories hut they are OF gloomy
and trngic character.
Last night when came home Won
todd n dramatic story 10 the effect thar
YOU had callers all afternoon. and
hadn't chance 10 cook anything for
me. and So had 10 eat canned salmon
and soda crackers and wash them
Town with winter and I insist that
when a husband comes home from his
irduous lahorS In the changing mart.
~ empty that his watch chain makes
'lanklng sound when IL flaps against
his spine. he should have warm vic
tuals. something he can consume with
pleasure and pride. Tho fact that you
lad an Invasion ~ callers Is cheap
sxcuse.
MY sainted m9ther never would
nave permitted any callers 20 interfere
With her management ~ the cook
stove. she realized that her old man
Sept the shehang going. and that he
should have the rich, ~ way. II any
nd hens happened 20 be In the house
Nhen grub time approached. my moth
n would request them firmly but ~
,pecifully. 90 chase themselves. and II
hey didn't like Il they could lump n.
When my father came home from his
work. the hay was always In the
nanger for him. and he never had TO
wait FIVE minutes for n meal.
'rhe day before yesterday. when I
anne staggering home faint and
weary from my herculean efforts TO
make both ends meet. you told mo an
other story. II was To the effect that
gou had been downtown sizing up "a
shipment Of new spring hats. just re-
,eived at the millinery foundry. and
gou we're so interested You forgot the
apse Of time. and didn'r-get home In
time TO cook anything But you flashed,
a winning smile at me. and said u
wouldn't take You ten minutes 10 warm
lp n can Of beans and there was some
,old coffee left-from breakfast. and you
had plenty OF smoked herrings On
hand
Doubtless I should have hurst forth
nto boisterous laughter over this en-
PERTAINING aneciote. hut somehow II
ildn't appeal To my sense of humor.
was so busy that day ] hadn't time
to eat anything Mt noon. and all the
way home ! was hoping you would
have a porterhouse steak about three
inches thick. and raft Of boiled po-
tatoes. and perhaps a slab OF mlnce
pie as an epilogue.
THE DAY before that. when I came
home as hollow as bass drum. and
fairly crashing my teeth with hun
ger, you related humorous story to
the effect that your club didn't adjourn
on time that afternoon. and you didn't
get home until late. so I would have
to get along with a picked-up supper.
n I would be- patient few minutes.
you said. to make the story seem more
spicy. you would boil an egg for me.
and there was cold corn bread In the
cupboard.
.Such stories. Mrs. Jamesworthy.
may seem highly amusing to an limo
cont bystands. and ! have no doubt
they would make great hit II written
up and printed In London Punch. but
there Is something wrong with ny
sense Of humor. or am nj the wrong
end Of the stories. Anyhow. ] can't
gurgle over them as do over Honey-