The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1921-09-07

take the corn and leave the chaff"
(That to alone beiongs)
| Could / make nation laugh
| other men might write its songs.
| Lei Ms hasten to award today's Oddities in
| Orthography prize Ga handpalnted cnin pro,
tector) to Andy Gump who, as quoted by SID
smith spells 1t "VESEUVEUS". Which Is
enough to cause another eruption.
That's (As Bert williams or Somebody Said
! Gratitude!
| from vox Pop, the Chicago Tribune.1
| - But when real Americans feel
our care we are able to catch the in
spiration to do better and bigger things.
| We are thanking you for the thou
| sands rendered homeless from disaster.
| RUSSIAN Mobiles Earn Their Living" head
lines the waggish Mr.. Frederick Haskin. They
do it, conjecture, with their divine rights,
aided by their sturdy 1efts.
"D' SEEMS TO BE A HOT SPORT.
| Dieter picked up on Seventh avenue.)
| Dearest Lucille
| 1 love you dearly.
| And hope you love me the same
| spent nickle this noon and all for
stick of candy. D will take anything
from pill to stick of dinanithe to the
| Office for you. LILLIAN
| boy Dies As Result of Auto Crash, :"
headlines the Davenport Times. But We count
ed twelve places in the story following which
indicated the victim was girl
The Diary of Pale Blue Ass.
| Aug. 29-Up promptly at 6. Reached the
Ioffce at $780, for the first time in nearly six
weeks. All day at the desk which l found
irksome after my enforced vacation l be-
lieve that / am in favor of disarmament Ii
disarmed nation cannot fight, neither
Compiled the colyum hastily and went home
early, as The Lady Who Hates to Darn my
Socks had phoned that Friend Dave would come
for dinner. He took the family total, seven)
fivvering up the river drive far as Pleasant
Valley, then came back, drove to Moline
and inspected the new bank building. My elu-
sive nephew managed to lose himself therein
at the moment the rest of the party decided
to start home. He was located (fnal1y) in
the big vault Home at 80 and had a few
Establishments before Dave left.
Aug. 30-Up. Breakfast Office. Work
Home. Dinner. Bed.
Aug. 31-Ditto Aug. 80, with the exception
that 1 noted a sign in the window Of the
Ihealthatorium on Third avenue which read
why go to the springs when you can get we'll
here?' and tried half heartedly to drill a
wheeze therefrom, but failed.
Sept. Ditto Aug. 3031 as far as home.
About o'clock four wives brought their four
husbands for little party. We played "rook'
and talked-or talked and played rook-for two
hours. Nice game, rock; but 1 prefer game
with which 1 am more familiar-African golf,
for instance. 1 must introduce that game at
the next party. Mrs Spud would like it, l am
sure. The vocabulary that acquires with
knowledge of the game is so quaint Bed
at IL.
Sept up Reluctantly at g. To the Of
fee at 7:45 The morning mail brought
(among other things) Willie Green's caustic
criticism of my earnest efforts to please nv
thousands of delighted readers" He objects
to these "harangues on family affairs. l sus-
pect Willie is moved by jealousy; he has no
family affairs to harangue about. What he
needs is half a dozen Young Rutfians to put a
brake on his vertiginous konk. = COMPLIED
the colyum more hastily than yesterday To
bed early.
Sept 3-Usual day. To bed early as Sister
and the nephew planned to take the 80 "a
M train from the Milwaukee station
Sept. Awake at 2:45 to bid our visitors
goodbye. Didn't envy them their trip. Back
to bed and slept till s o'clock. Went to the
office and colyumed for hour or two with
nc very satisfying results. Home, ate a little
and read the Sunday papers intermittently the
balance of the day.
itor wanted to know why said nothing about
it in the colyum. Why should 1? The colyum
is evidence enough that 1 labored. Labor day,
Well named!
CHAUFFTNG a one-man car is a lob we
don't banker for, though perhaps the task is
NO more onerous than that of chiseling this
monument OF Mournfulness every day.
THE WORST JOB.
There Jobs. and some positions that 7
rather think I'd like,
Such as captain on the ferry, or to race
motor bike,
Ut drive garbage wagon when the wind is
at your back,
Or wheel the White Wings" wagon, or drive
the hotel hack.
Get out the old milk wagon around three or
four a.
Or be bill collector and be told to 60
ahem.-
Be an umpire in a BAH game between Rock
Island and Moline
BE the poor old boob policeman or the hero
on the screen.
Drive the old ice wagon, though that job has
lost its charm
Sfncs prohibition struck us, but I'd even try
the farm
And plod along behind the pIow-with wearvl
footsteps slow,
Then slop the pigs and pail the COW, MITCH
hay and boiler whoa
From early dawn to dewey eve, yes. better
that by far
Than TO be the motor-con- upon oNE-MAN |
CAh! LUCY.
HE~feature= OF the Labor day procession
u Moline was. take II from the Davenport |
Democrat . delegation Of Coal Valley and Sher-
racd, Ill, nnfnsrs who, uniformed IN white |
EFuueers. gray sIesve-length skirts, white cans
VT erstoSches above the brin made |