The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-12-04

ANSC tHcro wan - HoHho-ANs
Beanery where one could tell
the Day Of the Week by what
was on the Table.
The Stroke Oar Of this Food Ba-
Ear had been In tho Business for &c
years. and she had earned her Harp
hres times over. The Prune Joke
never touched her. and she had her
self trained SO as not to hear any
scarcastic Cracks about the Oleo.
She prided herself on the Atmos-
phere Of Culture that permeated the
Establishment and on the Fact that
she did not harbor any Improper
Characters. A Good many Improper
Characters came around and sized
up the Layout aud then blew.
1t was a sure-enough Boarding
House, such as many of our Best
People know all about even II they
won't tell.
The Landlady was doing what she
could to discourage the Beef Trust.
but she carried n heavy line of Oat-
meal She had Oatmeal to burn and
Sometimes she did 1t. And she
often remarked that Spinach had
Iron In 1t and was great for the
Blood. One of her pet Theories
was that Rice contained more Nutsf-
ment than could be found in Spring
Chicken, but the Boarders allowed
that she never saw a Spring Chick
en-.
In the Cast of Characters were
many of the Old Favorites- There
was the Lippy Boy with the Ed
Wynn Shirts. who knew the Names
of all the Ball Players and could
tell when there was a good Variety
Show in Town.
There there was the other kind,
with a straw-colored Mustache and
a prominent Adams Apple. who was
very careful about his Pronuncia-
ton. He belonged to a Social Purity
Club that had n Yell. His idea Of
q Hurrah was to get In a Parlor
Will u lew oiSNciB WIN WCA ohNSs
tho Age Limit and sing the Bass
Part Of Pull for the Shore"
Then there was tho Old Boarder.
He was the Land Mark. Having Nv
ed In Boarding Houses and Hotels
all his Life, he had developed q
Gloom that surrounded him like a
Morning Fog. He had a Way of
turning things over with his Fork.
a. II to say:
well, l don't know about this"
And he never believed anything no
saw in the Papers. He said the Pa
pers printed those things Just to I'LL
up. The Circassian Princess that
brought in the Vittles paid more at
tention to him than to anyone else,
because II he didn't get Egg on his
Lettuce To was liable to cry all over
the Table Cloth.
Then there was . chubby Man
came in every Evening and told
what had happened At the Store
that Day. and there was a human
Ant-Eater who made Puns.
One Of the necessary Features 0f
refined Joint IL the Slender Thing
who il taking Music and has Nom
mer along to fight off the Managers
and hush the Voice of Scandal. This
Boarding House had ono OF theoe
Mother-and- Child Combinations that
was a Dream. Daughter was full OF
Kubelik and Fritz Kreisler.
Away back In the Pines somewhere
there was Father who was putting
up for the Outfit. Mothers Job
seemed to be to sit around the Root.
She was a. consistent little Booster.
II what Mother said was true, then
Effie's Voice was good sight better
than II sounded. She said the Teach
ers were just Crazy about It and all
of them agreed that Effie ought to
go to Paris or Milan.
The slangy Boy with a ragtime
Shirt went them one better, and said
that all of the phoney Gallicuris In
the country ought to pull for the Old
Country and walt until they were
A.