The weekly times-record. (Valley City, N.D.) 1912-1922, 1921-12-01
ABOUT Pure UN-
ADULTERATED BUNK

Walt. Taylor, of the LaMoure
Chronicle, makes hit with us in the
following:
For pure, unadulterated bunk COM
mend me to these health specialists
who are ramning around the country
in droves, telling US how we can cheat
Old Mortality out of his eyeteeth if we
will only listen to them and take their
advice and medicine. For instance.
here is Dr. Caroline Hedger: child spe-
cialst with the Elizabeth Mccormick
Memorial Fund of Chicago.
Dr.. Caroline attended conference
of health specialists in Minneapolis
the other day-a conference called for
the purpose of instructing parents in
the gentle art of bringing up their
children in the way they should go.
These health specialists have it all
down pat. They know less about more
things than any other class of people
on earth.
DR.. Caroline has prepared chart
for mother and dad, upon which their
parental virtues and vices are set
down in black and white in much the
same way that the records of base
ball games are kept. If you do the
right thing, you are credited with
hit, an assist or run; if you do the
wrong thing, an error is marked up
against you; for certain high crimes
and misdemeanors you may be fined:
suspended or put out of the game alto
gether.
To start with. you have 100 points.
These are a present from the health
specialist. They don't cost you cent
But watch your next step! Do you
give your child patent medicine? II
so, deduct five points. Patent medi-
cines are strictly on the razzberry
with the health specialist. The sale
of patent medicines helps nobody
but the manufacturer, the druggist
and possibly the patient; it takes the
bread right out of the mouth of the
doctor-and the doctor is the central
figure around which the highly organ
lied public health system revolves.
Have you had your child's eyes fit
ted by someone other than special
ist? Set yourself back another five
points if you have. Never send your
child to blacksmith or cobbler or
piano tuner to have his eyes examined.
Send him to a specialist. What is a
specialist? Well, a specialist is a
man who has an Office in city and
lot Of nerve when it comes to making
out his bill.
If your child is mouth breather,
have you neglected an operation on
throat or nose? You have? That will
set you back another five points. And
YOU are getting off light. at that, be-
cause these simple little operations for
adenoids, the removal of tonslls, etc..
all make for a sturdier race of men
and women. and they should not be
| neglected. A stitch in time saves
| lot of patchwork later on.
We health specialists always sugar
| coat the more vital part of our cam
| paign with few moral lessons. Thus
we urge parents to control their tenn
| pers when dealing with children. Al
| wavs speak in quiet and soothing
tone of voice, saying "please do this.
| ana please 10 CIldC, IL yOo No1A'FAJ
with these suggestions you may Gre
dit YOUR score with Fl. points.
Every time you lie to YOUR child you
must debit your score with ten points.
Every time you allow your child to do
q thing one time and forbid it a Sec
ond time under the same clrcum-
stances, punish yourself with flVe
points. and so on, ad nauseam' e1c'
want every reader of this column
who is parent to draw up score
sheet on the lines indicated above and
keep it faithfully for year. At the
end of that time: send me the sheets.
I will cast up the figures, and to the
one who has the most perfect score
I will present a nicely bound volume
| Of Gibbons "Rise and Fall OF the
Roman Empire"