davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1921-02-05

Mr.. and Mrs. Hugh l.. Rose. Of New
York, have arrived at the White House
to be guests of the President ard
Mrs. Wilson for a few days.
The Washington times., 1921-02-05

Mrs. George X. McLanahan gave
dinner last evening for Miss Marjori
Campbell. of New York, the guest o
her daughter.
The Washington times., 1921-02-05

Colin Livingston has returned from
a short visit to New York.
The Washington times., 1921-02-05

Walter Trent has gone to Europe
for a six weeks trip. During his ABB
sence Mrs. Trent will remain at the
Wardman Park Hotel.
The Washington times., 1921-02-05

DIR. and Nine. George N. Poulien.
who have been visiting in Philadel-
phia, are now at home.
The Washington times., 1921-02-05

CONTINUED on Page seventeen.)
The Washington times., 1921-02-05

Mrs. Thomas Ewing of New York
will entertain a large luncheon party
today at Rauscher's. Mrs. James K.
Freeman, wife of the rector Of the
Church of the Epiphany, will be the
guest of honor. Mrs. Ewing. who was
most popular in Washington society
few years ago when her husband
was commissioner Of patents, had a
home at 1907 II street where she
was frequent hostess. She will re-
main in Washington over the week
end.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-03-14
MARCH IA. 1921
THIS IS TOO MUCHl TOO MUCH

All friends. but fl IS not alone the churches the
rrohIbitonsts. the Anti-saIoon league and such
like. that taking the JOY out OF hfe-from the
18th amendment and the Yolstead code. down
through our tobacco wallets taking the sun out Of
Sunday. and so Oh, and 50
Now passeth the hip pocket, and too, none the
less unsIng. unhonored unvept. than the things
that it hath contained For It was a grand old in
stitution In its day The good old hip pocket was
friend in need, in the days when there were uses
for hip pockets.
Laws and other things made the hip pocket sort
Of NTH wheel. an unnecessary appendix OF later
years. PARTICULARLY so since the drought has pene-
trated even 20 the cellar.
There were times when some could have done
without their right eyes and felt the absence less
than the disappearance of the hiI pocket. 1t was
the handy place for the repose of firearms, and the
flask It was needed In the days OF Deadshot Dick
and John Bareycorn.
Now. however the world wag along without
hip pockets. So asserts the New York Custom Cut
tiers association in ultimatum eliminating hip
pockets from trousers Of the 1922 model.
Oh. well, we should worry. OF what good hip
pockets when a fellow nothing but his fist to put
emp That is But hold
We thought wed paid debt to Lafayette"
but just at this point Paris to rescue.
and France may have another claim upon our
gratitude. A nifty device has been invented over
there for the hip-pockeuess man; such need it
a cute little bag i'm which one can carry handker-
chief a key-ring, and the "makin's."
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-03-14
Other Editors Than Ours
UNFAIR COMPETITION.

The discussions of the Versailles treaty have been
largely directed TO the League of Nations
nant that the average man may be pardoned for
thinking that there is little involved Last
treaty fixing the responsibility the war in Ger
many and arragning those guilty OF crimes against
the rules and laws OF war Indeed, they be
rather important But there are other provisions
that OF value
Many OF PEOPLE, and many politicians, are
greatly alarmed. or profess to be. over the posi-
bity Of unfair competition the part OF Germany.
Recalling what went before the war, one
feel that this fear is groundless. was in
mind Of the treaty makers, is proved by the fol-
lowing:
Germany undertakes TO adopt all the necessary
legislative and administrative measures 10 protect
goods the product manufacture OF any one the
allied and associated powers from all forms OF
fair competition in commercial transactions. Ger
many undertakes to prohibit and suppress by seizure
and by other appropriate remedies the importation.
expectation. manufacture distribution, offer
ing for sale in its territory OF all goods bearing
uIOn themselves their usual get--up wrap
pings, any marks, names. devices OF inscriptions
whatsoever which calculated to convey directly
indirectly. false indication OF the origin. type.
nature, special characteristics of such goods"
OF any violation of this provision the League OF
Nations would be bound TO take cognizance, OF
any other provision OF this or any other treaty.
What IS true OF this clause is true of the econO-
mic clauses generally, and il is in these that
traders and business most directly interested.
They will bear studying. There rights written
in this treaty which ought to be willing even
10 the risk OF forfeiting Hundreds OF millions
OF dollars Of property involved, and the title
thereto. What law suits would follow rejection Of
this treaty dare try predict. Those who
disposed &c hout idealism should reflect that
these are very practical considerations. What we
dealing with IS a world economic and financial
settlement which already binds AZ nations in not
that should have the careful consideration
GoEn our business men, and fnanciers,
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-03-14
LAW-BREAKlNG LAWMAKERS.

Utah is fast gaining reputation the home Of
more than the mormons From land of plurality
of wives it is approaching notoriety in the produc
ton Of Iugilists "frinstants;"
The Utah legislature recently staged its fourth
fist fight The latest bout as our sport editor would
put IT, was pulled off between the city attorney
elected to enforce Iaws) of Salt Lake City, and
member of the legislature elected to make laws).
Three other times within the past two months
Utah's legislative chamber has been turned into
fsht ring, without referee promoter, purse;
just plain, ordinary fist fights, between Of sup
posedIy abiding habits!
The Utah legislature fighters quickly would de-
nounce INST lighting among the people they repre-
sent. and loudly would taey demand punishment.
Why. then, viii the people choose their repre-
sentativcs men who have so little respect for law,
and sc little control OF their tempers and so
crrauc of conduct?
The answer in most states, is more difficult than
in Utah. There, it must be remembered the we'll
known Chaml ion Dempsey spent his early years and
picked up the rudiments Of "the manly art" and
goody equipment of muscl les jabs and jots. 1t
be that members of the Utah legislature are train
ing mill with the weu-kuown Mr. Dempsey.
This seems more reasonable to suppose than that
they training to be good law-abiders.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-03-14
HARDING SEEMS WEAKENING.

Prest Harding having observed the number OF
the faithful. gathering beneath the federal plum
await the fruit about fall appears
10 have taken at least half of another lesson from
his predecessor and VIII seek to save his complexion
by limiting the number Of prointrnents to post
1uastershps after an. with seemingly his entire
party constituency in each community after
postmastership the president while he will revoke
the Wilson order. promises to supplant it with
other. and Of course with a better Under the
Harding order instance of the promised i'm
provemen,s. democrats are to be Disseminated
against only who gave currency to the negro blood"
story during the campaign
But the MISUNDERSTANDING orchard Is heavy-laden
with more than postmastershps There are district
attorneyshlps revenue collectorships. ambassador
ships judgeships. and other desirable offices. OF
course. TT was crime for Wilson TO have given
any Of these TO democrats Only recently there
a deer contemporary wall on this subject OF the
president and his secretary OF the treasury, his at
torneys general and other cabinet officials. having
"bult up a great political machine" by appoint
rnents OF such order-but then it ever thus with
the political parties
Patronage has always been the bitter that went
with The sweet Of the presidential Office. No presi
dent since Andrew Jackson has been exempt from
IT'S torments some have protested against its
actions on their time. their patience their good
nature and their peace OF mind; others have suf-
fered IN silence. A month so after was elect
ed president. Harding dclcately suggested some
thing OF what he already then enduring from
the pursuit OF place seekers and their friends
Turn the rascals out" first became a party slogan
in the administration Of Jackson who believed IN
rewardlng his friends and giving his enemies what
Re Thought was coming 10 them. Up 10 Jackson's
time few men had been removed from federal Of
Zee for political reasons Pres't Adams removed only
10 men. defaulter; Jefferson. 80; Madison.
FIVE. Monroe. nine; the younger Adams two.
Clay, Calhoun and Webster condemned the spoHs
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-03-14

system. but until 1871 steps taken to euro
Il by civil service regulations. Later the assassna
ton OF Garfield by a disappointed spokesman result
ed in enlargement OF the civil service list Cleve
land first his face against spoils the be
ginning OF his administration was anything but sat
isfactory politicians who wanted a clean sweep,
but In the end Cleveland yielded TO pressure and
before the third year OF his administration had
been ousted
with a new broom to which is tagged the mandate.
use IT," but the president is said to be weakening
particularly to the postmssterships-whe there
has been personal democratic insult 1t is too
bad, indeed, too bad, that a elevated the
highest ONCE in the land, should have to be pes
tered by greedy Office seekers to make 1t neces-
sary for him to lay down such special rules limit
the sway OF his embarrassment.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-03-14
Ignorant Essays
By ]. P. McEVOY

You are now ready for the next
operation. Begin II by adding all
the "the's" and "is's" and IFS" to-
gether, find the least common null
tiple and add the number Of ch. =
dren you have. II you have no chill
dren, substitute your golf handicap
and waist measure. The result is
subject to 10 per cent tax over and
above three per cent surtax and five
per cent miscellaneous. Add the
quotient OF the mukiplicand. sub
tract the divisor and throw the re-
suit into a Quadratic equation in
which Y the unknown quantity rep
resents your brains. If you have an
answer. put under Clause s, Section
8.
Now subtract all donations, such
as money loaned 10 relatives, money
lost during sleep through wifely
ministrations, and the nickle you
dropped into the collection box last
Easter. If the answer is more than
100 add 3, or If less subtract 200.
Multiply by the number Of your
ward, add your telephone number.
Subtract your street address, extract
the square root and the answer will
be the answer.
What next, Sach me. That's far
as I've been able to get yet.
Copyright, 1879
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-03-14
More Truth
Than Poetry
UNCLE SAM DECLARES \ CUT IN.
By JAMES J. MONTAGUE

UNCLE SAM DECLARES n CUT IN.
The income tax collector has
been trying to make joe Jackson
make a return of the bride he is
said to have received for throwing
the baseball championship.
No more we labor under
The inexact belief
That it is loot or plumber
Which makes a man a thief.
For it has been decided
That thicving is a trade
Which all may ply-provided
The income tax is paid.
The wiles the CRATER uses
Won't get him in a jam
Unless the wretch refuses
To split with Uncle Sam.
The bandit who request you
To back against the wall
And ruthlessly divests YOU
While backed thereof your all,
Must make an inventory
OF every single cent
For he would die before he
Would cheat the government.
And though a soulless blighter
The average bandit is,
Ills conscience will be lighter
If Uncle Sam gets his
Too bad that they neglected
The supertax on crime
That might have been collected
In Mr.. Ponzzi's time.
Too bad that outlaws clever
Should be compelled to pay
No income tax whatever
In Jesse James day
And if we'd clap taxation
Upon the bootleg trade,
The debt Of all the nation
Would presently be paid!
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-03-14
JUST FOLKS
By EDGAR A. GUEST

AT TIL
f TOP.
Whenever you see someone up at
the top,
Don't imagin. he got there by
luck,
For back of his glory lies many
story
OF BATTLE and struggle and pluck;
He may seem to be taking things
easy today
And doging the trials which irk,
But the years OF his past, from the
first to the last,
Were a constant succession of
work.
Whenever you see someone crowned
by success,
Don't fancy he won it by chance;
Though he's walking today on an
easier way,
And you cannot behold with a
glance
The scars of his battle, just keep
this In mind
LIES laurels don't go to the
shirk,
And If you but knew his life history
through,
You'd know that he once had 10
work.
Success doesn't come to the indolent
hand,
With busy men life is concerned;
Be the man VINO he may, he will
find on the way
That It's prizes all have to be
earned.
So whenever you gaze on a leader
of men.
Up on top where the glory Is fair,
You can know with his luck there
were courage and pluck
You can bet that he worked TO get
there.
(Copyrig
ut, 1920
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-03-14

HOW TO FIGURE INCOME TAN.
The first thing you do is sharpen
your pencil and dull your conscience.
Do not dull the latter too much,
however. If you seem to be running
into that danger, it viii help you TO
remember that the Government
keeps open hours all year around at
Leavenworth and other resorts for
people who suffered lapse of con-
science and developed an impedi-
ment in their figures when they
made out their returns Also fed
eral judges are paid by the year
and have lifetime jobs, so there will
always be somebody around 10 take
care Of your case.
Your pncil and conscience attend
ed TO, you begin by laying the re-
turn out on the table and looking
carefully for space on it for your
figures. You will find a little II
you have sharp eyes.
Begin by counting all the DIS on
the first page and crossing out the
o's and rs. This will give you the
advalorem amount for your first
moratorium. Subtract this from
your available collateral, add three
days of grace and multiply by your
age, excluding leap years. Put this
down under Clause one Of Section
six.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-03-14
BRIEF NEWS OF THE CITY.

BRIEF NEWS OF THE CITY.
Morris Collmer is abroad in a
new racer the color OF some OF the
better known of the salads.
Charles B. Sax has completely re-
covered from the boxing match he
attended last week.
Tom Brandon called UP Saturday
10 inquire the car fare TO New York.
Jake Heckaman, the mayor-elect.
Dodged through the county Sunday
as usual.
Evelyn is out again after brief
sick spell.
Pres't Hardings double. Joe Neff.
was on duty at the Union Trust
company as usual on Saturday-that
Is so far as we know.
John Ellsworth has come forward
with the suggestion TO make Char
ley Frazier dog catcher in the ad-.
ministration OF Jake Heckaman.
Louie Wolf certainly conferred a
great favor on some OF the old set
tiers in Sundays News-Times by
describing in detail how to make
hootch.
II is understood Jake Heckaman
is 10 name Clement Studebaker a
water meter inspector, and that the
O'Brien boys are to be city patrol
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-03-14
The Tower of Babel
BY BILL ARMSTRONG

men as q decoy. This announcement
comes from Fred Bryan, Jake's
manager, so Il must be official.
A bright new soft hat has showed
I'D on Michigan ST. It's a funny
thing about that hat in that both OF
the wearers are clothing men. The
only thing we can figure out is that
Clarence Steed wears 1t in the day
time and JULIUS Seeburger wears 1t
at night.
Adam Beehler, the missus. and
their IS children attended church
Sunday. II took two hours for the
parade 10 pass a given point
One Of the most reliable OF our
correspondents informs US that Bill
Becker, OF divers, has started Civ
ing the angle worms drowning les
sons.
George Rostiser IS abroad in such
a fine new car that we wonder how
a printer can do it?
Louie Segety. the fat real estate
dealer, has left for = trip to Canda.
II Louie don't come back to more
YOU don't need to be surprised.
Some men are so d-n gloomy all
the while, their talk reminds us OF
one Of Coroner c. B. Crumpacker'
monthly reports. For instance take
Joe Grand Leader, the well known
James Cox advocate.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-03-14
THE GREATEST OF THE GREAT.

It Is natural for people to disagree; otherwise we
would all be alike would all be Of one religion.
of politics. all married one wife It would
never do. And just diversified in our con-
ceptions OF each others greatness.
The right select ones own greatest men and
greatest women is accordingly invioable. Probably
two would agree the dozen greatest" for
greatest doesn't mean the same to each There
are some who would include the first Napo-
leon; ara there are others who could make up no
iist without him.
But there are many who Will agree that a certain
little boy about to Iickng the great
est mortal The class at school
asked write down the names Of the dozen great
est" men and women. This little fellow the first
TO hand in his paper. 1t read:
Mother father, Uncle Henry, Grandma,
Grandpa, Aunt Blanche. Iris Speaker. George
Washington, Pres't Wilson, Pershing, Fatty Ar
buckle, and Miss Geddes"
1t may be explained to the unknowing, that the
Miss Geddes referred to- the little fellows school
teacher. Mr.. Speaker is well-known baseball
player. his team world championship; Mr..
Arbuckle occupies a large portion Of the movie
screen almost every night
There MAJ be some difference of opinion as to
few of these greatest" men and women. There are
those who would place Babe" Ruth ahead of Mr..
Speaker. and others who would include Mary Pick
ford and exclude Mr. Arbuckle,-but who is there
to say that mother and father the rightful
leaders in any small boys list of greatest"
And, as has been pointed out there's many a slip
for the pitcher between the spring training grounds
and the first game.
Electlng lawyers to Offices has one redeemng fea-
ture; leaves legal openings for other lawyers who
were offceholders.
Nothing interests newly-weds less than advice on
how to be happy though married.
No man doubts nature until he sows garden seeds
that never come up.
president hes his congress on his hands or un-
der his thumb.
Too much bayonet prodding may bring Russia
the Rhine.
German Pres't Ebert urges dignity" says
cable; how about urging payment?
-o-
1t isn't every presidents father who lives long
enough to his climb the highest peak.
Maybe Bergdon will come back when Bill Hohen-
zoern voluntarily appears in London for trial!
The best you can make out of what's left of Tur-
key is a bit OF hash and some bones for the pup.
The senate may learn that it isn't senator. but
a president, in the white house
The allies more intent upon collecting the
coin than in convicting the kaiser.
Every baseball manager today is counting
Matched chickens.
IL not the watch on the Rhine: it was ar
alarm clock.
Germany is learning in different school
OF might"
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-03-14
TOO TRIFIIN'

II the people Of zap expect the
world Is goin to fight another war
over them. they'll have TO change
the name OF their Island.
Copyright, 1929
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-03-14
CIVIC CLUB TO MEET.

The Franklin Civic center will
meet at the Franklin school build
Ing next Thursday evening, March
II. Items Of special local interest
viii be discussed.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-03-14
NOT so SAFE.

The prospect Of hostiliies on the
German front may make II neces-
sary for Mr.. Dempsey TO abandon
his purpose 10 visit that section.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-03-14
AUFTL THOUGHT.

With an eight-cent fare all round.
what in the world are we going TO
call the jitneys hereafter?
New-York tribune., 1921-06-21
" omen Held
AS Blaclxwesl's
Drug, Runners
Detectives OF DIR. Simon's
Staff Pose ms Prisoners
and Report Breaking Up
Narcotics Ring on Island
Stuff Dropped Off Bridge
Man Arrested With Two Fe-
male Suspects When Nor.
plline Is Found i'm Letter

Another setback is said to have been
gwen the gang of drug peddlers who
smuggle narcotics to prisoners on
BiackwclFs Island yesterday when two
women and a mason's helper there
were arrested by detectives of Commits
sioner Carleton Simon's squad.
The women were arrested at their
home on Hicks Street, Brooklyn, where
$500 worth of drugs and needles were
are Mrs. Nellie DUR, thirty-fve years
old, the wife of John Durr, prisoner
on the island, and Mrs. Anna Weisner.
also thirty-five years old.
The man arrested is Michael H.
Tovuoti, of $40 East Eleventh Street.
According TO DR.. Simon, the snug
Cling of drugs to prisoners had grown
to such an extent in the last month
that Warden Joseph McCann took up
the matter with him. Detectives were
sent to the island ostensibly as pris-
oners. to find out how the drugs got in
and where they came from. Since that
time eleven arrests have been made,
the accused persons being some Of the
employees on the island.
The scheme, it is explained, carried
out by the three arrested yesterday
was discovered by Detectives Sanders,
gulgley ana parry. lney report lhaC
they discovered letter written by
Mrs. Durr and intercepted by McCann
and in the ten pages Of the missive
morphine was found.
Mrs. Durr's husband a prisoner, ac-
cordng to Commissioner Simon, was in
an excellent position to learn which
prisoners were drug addicts. He got
up a list, it is said, and this was passed
on TO Mrs. Durr through Tovuoti, who,
it is said, would then get the contra
band goods and drop the opiates off
the bridge above the island.
Tovuoti is charged with smuggling
drugs into penal institution. Mrs.
Durr is charged with aiding and abet-
ting him, and Mrs. Weisner is accused
Of possessing drug illegally.
New-York tribune., 1921-06-21
Tip Top Girls and Dixon
Are Ixcaolincrs al Palace

The London Palace Girls from Tip
Top" and Harland Dixon started iher
second week at Keiths Palace yeeter-
day, whore they are are principal draw
ing cards. Their first week was over
shadowed by Ethel Barrymore and sew
aral other attractions. This week COM
petition is not SO keen.
Adelaide Pell does number of M
usual stunts IN her dancing. She
st,ikes a middle ground between the
dancer and the contortionist. fisr-
garet Young with monologues in reero
character and chorus girl slaNc and
several songs, shows that she deserves
the designation versatile comedianne." :"
For downright fun. William and Cor
don Dooley, with the NORM sisters,
lead the program. The Dooley nonsense
is balanced by the dancing of Bessie
aud Zena NORM. Leon Bloom is musi~
cal conductor of this number.
John Steel, tenor. assisted by his &C
companist, Jerry Jarnagin, gives some
pleasing numbers. Bertram and Sax
ton sing light songs of sercnade
nature. Mel Klee, Joe Fanton and
Mr.. Hymack at "Bogey
Villa" and Signor Friscoe, are the
other entainers. Besides the Pathe
News and the Topics of the Day. in
motion pictures, one Of the moderni. d
Gsop's Fables is shown.