The Morning Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Okla.) 1919-1927, 1921-03-20
CODE NOT GUIDE
TO P0LITENESS
Formal instruction in
Good Manners Is Not
Sufficient
COMES FROM HEART
instructive Guidance Of Gold
en- Rule Only Key to Real
Refinement

eupcrficially, of course, II is not
difficult TO show that We are fast
losing or manners, says Vogue. The
obyious procedure in dealing with
mis- subject is to cast the mind back
10 time when modish places were
haunted by. fine gentlemen in lace
and velvet whose snuff boxes and
nlumed hats were designed expressly
10 lend point 60 an epigram or grace
to a bowling encounter with ladies.
We think of Bath in the days OF
Brummel, or the elaborate etiquette
Of versailles. We remember there
was a time when Mr.. Turvydrop in
structed young ladies in department
md when Miss Pinkerton had also
something TO say on the subject.
Comparing such times with our own,
II Is small wonder that many OF us
tend rather hastily to assume that
manners are declining and that to-
tey We are merely barbarous by
comparison with our forefathers.
Where may It be asked. are our
modern Raleighs to spread a cloak
In muddy walks for the feet of the
adored? Where Is the host who
would slay his pet falcon rather than
allow an unexpected guest to go hun
cry?
To all OF which IL may be briefly
answered that In the good old days,
when manners flourished so greenly
70 the eye, II was quite usual for a
fine gentleman to. come drunk into
the presence OF ladies, to roar with
laughter Y ~cr,a; happened 10 be
plain, or not quite so young as she
would like TO be; and in most other
ways TO conduct themselves after n
fashion which prompted George Mer-
edith 10 liken the exquisite contem-
poraries OF Sir George Etherege to
South Sea Islanders.
Deeper Than Surface.
In short, manners go deeper than
mere surface and ceremony. and
Topping away of the climbs and out
ward flourishes' IL not necessarily
sign that manners have declined. To
argue that manners are deteriorat-
Ing today because the general code
Of behavior Is less strict and elab-
srate than in the days of Lord Cheg-
terfield would like to- pe arguing
that poetry is in a decline because
Mr. Walter de la Mare and Mr.. Mase-
field do not write like Alexander
Pope, or that music is destroying
itself because Sciabin exceeds the
bounds OF musical deoornm as de-
fined by Stanier and Prout.
II may be reasonably argued that
strict conventional code OF manners
is usually a sign of barbarism rather
than OF refinement. Such codes are
necessary in societies where good
manners do not come by nature. III
people do not, in the simple kin dness
and sympathy OF their hearts, know
instinctively how to meet their tel
lows, II is covenient to have a COM
ventional code OF behavior TO fall
back upon. The conventional code
puts every one upon a known footing
and makes no serious call upon any
Z oody's personal tact and discretion.
The One Real Virtue.
OF all these qualities the most civil
lized is ths quality of self forget
fulness, the natural capacity of a
tolerant and wise observer to become
identified at any moment with the
feeling of the company. and person
Immediately In presence. For such
one as this no code OF BEHAVIOR Is
necessary. Those who can forget
themselves in favor OF others are the
only people whose behavior is against
the accidents of q society which has.
TO a large extent, discarded the for
malities that once enabled almost
anybody to behave Cup to n point
Ihese unselfish ones are the only
impeccables.
Unselfishness, indeed, is the only
really civilized virtue. The founda-
non OF good manners is also the
foundation of good morals and of
good taste. Fbr none of these things
Is egocentric.