davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-07-30
COLD WATER FOR THIRSTY.

/ NOAD ~ aim II Ae INNS I.
Editor News-Times:
When it comes to the question OF
considering constitutional objecters
to the eighteenth amendment, we
might say that in spite Of their
gloomy predictions Of disastrous re-
suits of prohibition. the western
world is Enthusiastically moving ahead
| in economic as we'll as moral prog
! ress.
Naturally the majority Of palates
/ which have become accustomed 20
! the alcoholic moistures have been
and are reluctant to get readjust-
ment 10 the innovation of the dessi-
/ Gated state. but cold water is a good
moistener and fair thirst quencher
and it hardly ever adds much TO the
cost Of living.
Somebody said recently that mo
/ one has attempted to interfere with
the personal liberty of the drys." but
/ don't let him tell that 10 the extra
| dry Cinnamon within our United
States border since the government
! does sternly interfere with their ia
vcrite narcotic indulgence Of Orien-
| tay poppy gum, a la pipe And then
| too. the simple personal liberty Of
stepping on the gas" which shoots
the car along at a 50-mile gait is
generally frowned upon By the vigil
liant state troopers
There are, by the way. quite n
varieties Of personal liberties which
are properly restricted and legally
tabooed. For example, that multiple
martial felicity which is popular and
within the law in Turkey is one big
risk 10 personal liberty in our United
States, except Connecticut perhaps
and formerly Utah.
SO. why worry about ex-king alco-
hol?
While the fashioned high class
wet cheer in brown bottles" from
Milwaukee was not so bad as 1t was
painted today, the American public
seems to he rolling along just as
we'll or better than ever
We hear that the ranks of an
anti-prohibition organization evil
SUN NC 1ffN AANN ~ AAl4t44b4l~ Oh the
liberty loving" Would a dry sur
geon diagnose that development as
a rank swelling which should be re-
duced?
1t should go without saying that
there are many brands Of drink OF
less than - Of 1 per cent alcohol
that are approved OF by the driest
OF drys," For example, there's The
drink that Bryan made famous an
innocuous Concord cocktail with a
vinous tang The only objection 10
1t IS that it requires quite a bit Of
cash 10 get much Of IT, Even mint
julep. mild and within the law. is
being advertised as O. X Modern
ginger ale has some little pep that
jollies many a thirsty palate these
torrid days. Any little scnoolbOy
knows there are only a few OF the
fancy drinks for hot or cold weather.
Il is a regrettable fact that some
people enjoy making inaccurate
statements about prohibition and its
opponents. But why worry?
g. A W.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-07-30
THE DISCHARGED soLDAT

lIiE DlSChAhGED SOLDAT.
Nav, I amt so much on this fuH
stuff
Though many a shindig I've
graced:
And II it's a matter Of rough stuff
I'm there with the a. Z. r. taste:
But kid. you have got me a weaun'
All over our Main avenoo-
You're queen OF the fairies. an say.
it's the berries
When I'm al a talkfest with you!
I'm easy enough on the optics
Though L amt a beach lizard
guy.
And when Mike Malone. your old
pop sticks
His nose in I'm there with the fly:
amt never visited college
Ny learnin' is shy. that is true
But out Of all Mary's, I'll say it's
the berries
When you let me SHUTTER with
youl
1 earns forty bucks every payday
As helper TO Martin McGrew-
An swingin' troweTS no May
Day
Us payin' strike benefits too
But I'd take a chance at weddin'
An splittin' my share of home
brew
If, while summer tarries you'n make
IL the berries
And let me spout always TO you.
STUART +. CARROLL
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-07-30
ThQTOwQr >BabQl
Bill Armstron3
- ~

a radiogram from Doc smith sent
from aboard the S s. Missouri
in which ne says. "Sllp YOU the
best wishes from the middle OF
the lake"-middie of the lake is
good. Doc must have been diving
after his bait az the time the mes
sage was written.
Plowaty. too. was here yester-
day and stayed over night. He
brought Joe a box of stosies. but
when he learned Joe wasn't smok-
ing. he wrapped the up again and
took them back home with him
this morning.
AS we We're gazing affectiOnate-
~ on Nellie Jones' picture in your
paper the other way. Advertising
hip as q booster. we .ried figure
out the mysterious puzzle. and the
only Trims Joe could ever remem-
Der Nell.es boosting was a pack
pot with g cinch hand.
Joe also wishes u have YOU ac-
knowledge the kindly greetings
and noble sentiments OF Neal
WEIGH and sister. Joe wants 10
be remembered to all the boys and
girls. including particularly Joe
Stephenson. Hughie Deenan ana
the Division streeters, who, we un-
derstand. are remaining true u
him.
Hoping that you viii very soon
climb to the top Of YOU d-ed ok
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-07-30
THE UNLIMITED.

Both Holland and Belgium want to be included in
the invitation send delegates to the washington
disarmament conference. Holland points out that her
great colonial possessions in the Pacific entte her
70 a seat at the table. Begiums is that she
has OF the greatest sufferers from unlimit-
ed ornaments and wants to exert her influence %
bring about armament Limitation, only in the
interest Of ner own safety but the safety of all small
nations.
Harding.s difficulty isn't get other nations Il
come to his peace party; it's to keep the party small
enough be manageable.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-07-30
IN THE EDITORS MAIL.

Edgewater Club. St. Joe, Mich.
July IS, 81.
Dear BILL
AS Joe Grand Leaders social
financial and sporting correspond
ent, 1 am writing TO acknowledge
your CHEEKY words or encourage
ment on the reverse side Of a pos
tai card Of Andy Weisbers's pa
latial residence, where was origi-
mated the droll expression, "Give
Once for All. We have just read
your remarks in The Tower COM
menting on the class of Joe's Wis
itors, and it may be interesting for
you TO learn that he is doing re-
markedly well under the handi-
cap.
Joe also received this morning
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-07-30
now ms DoNE.

HOW HIS DOM.
He sought for recognition, he was
hungry for renown.
He wanted folks 20 know him as he
walked about the town.
He wanted folks TO point him out
and whisper There he goes,
The man who's doing wonders and
whom everybody knows"
At every public meeting he was sure
TO take the floor,
But all the people viii pered was
Good heavens. wnat a bore."
He sought for recognition and his
voice was never still,
But the people only snickered, and
1 think they always will
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-07-30
YACATIONS.

They are lucky young fellows who have been &C
cepted for service in the civilian army training
camps. These lads getting vacations that count.
Vacations passed in listless loafing.
are, leave their victims off than they were
before.
Vacation does not mental vacuum. 1t is
most beneficial and most enjoyed when it consists
OF a change rather than a total cessation of
tivites
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-07-30
OtherEditors ThanO Ours
THE ToADY's RECOMMENDATIONS
m VVa,na Iournal-HazottaN

About all that Is found in the partisan republican
findings Daniels and the navy IS that Toady Sims
made some recommendations that Daniels did not
follow. However. recall that the Toady also
ommends that make attempt to build up
merchant marine of and depend on Eng
land 10 carry goods and perhaps. all the Toady
recommends is not wise. The country is sick and
disguised with these petty peanut attempts be-
little the part we PLAYED in the great war.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-07-30

We didn't get many pr9dteers into
the iails. but il begins o. look now
as II we were going 10 watch some
Of them go 10 the poor houses.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-07-30
PAINTER Is NOT ENGLISH

Editor, News Times In your
morning issue OF Wednesday. July
20. you illustrated a picture. under
the caption, Here Is Philip de Las
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-07-30

ace may visit Ireland, but she
won't feel at home.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-07-30

Some people want economical government:
others hold political jobs.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-07-30

Parents should make their daughters promise
not 10 smoke until they're 21
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-07-30

You can't convince a farmer laws made fol
the good Of the country.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-07-30
JULY 80. 1921

Too many hobby-horses are being fed from the
U. s treasury.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1921-02-03
A Judicious Inquiry

A well known travelling man who
visits the drug trade, says he has of
ten heard druggists ask customer,
who wishes to buy cough medicine,
whether it was for a child or an
adult and if for child, they almost
invariably recommend Chamberlain
Cough Remedy. The reason for this
is that they know there is no danger
from it and that it always cures.
There is not the least danger in CIV
ing it and for colds, Group and whoop-
ing cough it is unsurpassed.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1921-02-03
Aor,ou,,ur. Firrt

at the head Of civilization and prog
ress, stands--not militarism. the
science which kills; not commerce,
the art which accumulates wealth |;
but agriculture. the mother Of all In
dustry and the maintainer OF human
life.-Jamee A. Garfield.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1921-02-03
Chamberlain's Tablets for Indigestion
and Constellation.

"The incest and pleasantest medi-
cine have used for indigestion and
let's writes Melard f. Craig, Mid
die Grove, N. Y. They work like d
charm and do not grippe or leave any
unpleasant effects.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1921-02-03


ed the old negro what he thought o
the minister. "Don't you think h
offers up = good prayer, Joe?" !"
| suhtainly does, boss; why dat mai
axed de Lord TO- things dat de uddel
preacher didn't even know he had"
Many former Kansans living IL
Gem county doubtless remember Rev
John A. Bright, who has been chap
lain Of the Kansas house Of represen'
tatiyes since the grasshopper year
! He was q Lutheran minister, and ir
the early days used to smoke. He j,
exceedingly small in stature. One
night he was pulling away ON a big
cigar while mixing with the politi-
clans who had gathered on the eve OF
the assembling Of the legislature
"Be careful, john" said a friend
"you are liable to run against some
fellow and burn him on the rump"
A man was the possessor of very
red nose. Having completed his bus
mess one day he was amusing himself
by inspecting the shop windows.
While admiring some ties little girl
came out of the establishment, looked
up at him, hesitated a moment, and
finally caught him by the sleeve.
please will you come into the shop
with me for a minute?" she asked.
Certainly" answered the man. Ar
rived at the counter, the little one as
tonished every one by remarking:
"There, miss; mother wants some rib
bon the same color as this gentle
mans nose"
The story that made millions laugh
that one which includes Thunder!
Thar hain't no SIGH animal!"-
we think, pretty good running mate
in the following more recent one. A
countryman was standing on a fish
p'er where the days catch was being
ENDED. Presently sword fish Of
size was hoisted up, and
the old fellow stared at it in wonder
and amazement. He positively could
not believe his senses, and when at
last he recovered himself sufficiently
to speak it was only to exclaim:
'The man that caught that fish is a
darn liar!"
Mrs. Vanderwert and her little son
boarded car. The boy was as proud
as Lucifer-he was wearing his first
pair of long trousers. The mother
handed the conductor the fare -
nickel and three coppers. MADAM,
;en cents, please" "Why, conductor,
ny son isn't ten years of age" "But
lie has long pants on" eff you fig
Ire that way, take the 8 cents for me
md the nickel for the boy" A good
,atured looking colored woman over
leard this and called out: "Say, con-
luctah, All wants my nickel back, All
loes."
I've noticed the Teller that moves
n spurts, who seems to forget it's
he speed that hurts-and he don't
lold out, like the patient jay, that
axes his time and keeps plugging
way. And I've seen the Teller that's
ffected with gall, who never does
ny plugging at all-he can't go fast,
nd he won't go slow; so there amt
20 race when the boss don't 60 So,
fter all, our approval bends to the
eller that's busy making friends
hat amt too bilious, nor yet too gay,
ut takes his time and keeps Plug
ing away. It's pleasant to hear the
yelkin ring, when she's hit with
teady whack, by jing-and fortune :
J apt to come our way, if we take
ur time and keep plugging away.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1921-02-03

II Under the title, Things That
Can't BE Bought" the Chicago
Daily News is publishing in various
periodicals rather unusual advertise
ment--one that to US seems to have
more than common interest for the
reader The text reads:
"You can buy power-but not re-
spect.
"You can buy position-but not 10y
atty.
aYou can buy followers--but not
friends.
"The most precious things in life
are the things that can't be bought.
."The most priceless feature Of q
newspapers circulation is the thing
no newspaper can buy-reader loyal
ty, public respect"
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1921-02-03
CURRENT COMMENT.

A PROMINENT leader in Boy
Scout work says there is no such
thing As naturally bad boy. He Is
probably right. Doubtless there are
some degenerate and criminal boy
minds whose unhappy proclivities
cannot be corrected, but in the main,
badness is merely high spirits and
mischievousness II the so-called
bad boys Astounding energies could
only be turned into proper channels,
their full measure in itself would
make q useful citizen Of him. Per-
haps the most pitiful thing in the
world Is the 80 frequent lack Of in
telhgent guidance for lively boys and
girls which permit them to grow up
into trihinG men, women and citizens.
They might have been saved 10 east
ly. A wise, kind word at critical
moment from someone he likes and
respects often changes the whole
current Of child's life and ultimate
ly makes good man Of him, when the
lack Of 1t would have caused him to
drift into worthlessness. What an
uneeAsing demand for devotion and
wisdom on the part Of parentsl And
In the teachers case, how infinitely
more important are sympathy and
than mere learningl
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1921-02-03

Special cracked wheat for break
fast food at the Coop Exchange.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1921-02-03

friend - let tobacco aionc because
Of it, psfnicioas effect, rather than
because the law says "thou shalt
not" more satisfactory and perma-
nent results will be obtained.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1921-02-03

! Don't stand back and cuss the thing,
Take it out, and then, by jingl
Make law.
For the man who tills the clod,
| For the one who packs bod,
Fen for him beneath the sod
Make law.
Why not call them income tax
blankety-blanks?
There is this difference between an
engagement and a battle. An en-
pagement always precedes marriage.
q & z
1t is said airplane passengers will
have to pay according to their weight.
Things are looking up for US. Here
is where they failed TO touch US again.
If you need business, go out and
fight for it on your merits. Whining
for business brings nothing but con-
tempt, and that won't pay dividends.
"Why does a woman invariably
close her eyes when- kssed?" asks an
exchange Well, any man has only
to look into the mirror to find the an
swer.
There's nobody to blame but the
weather man for the shortage of the
natural ice crop so far this winter, as
the acreage was just as big as in 9TH
er years.
No matter how much your wife
may know about home brew, she can't
give you the kind of medical atten-
ton the morning after that the old
time bartender used to dispense.
Another comet is coming along this
year. Scientists tell us it is not Hal
ley's comet that we saw in 1910, but
that ypu will readily recognize it
as the one that last visited US $685.
years ago.
As hint to revivalists we want to
suggest to the brethren to stress the
doctrine that there will be no taxes
income, state, municipal, county, ex-
else, ad valorem, poll, dog or sur
in heaven.
"You're wanted at home" tele-
phoned Old Bill Misgivens to his
neighbor who was down town.
nYour wife has just presented you
with another rebate off your income
TAX"
The Agricultural college of Ore
yon has sensation. The extension
division has been stamping across
etters sent out by that department
he words, "Use pure bred sires."
And by mistake the college postof-
ice stamped the slogan upon letters
nailed by the boys to their sweet
hearts.
Nearly every community has man
Who can tell how many tons of salt
.ould be extracted from all the
oceans and how many millions of
years it would take for man to make
| trip around the ring of Saturn in a
second hand Ford, but to save his life
lie cannot tell where the food and fuel
or the family use next week is to
'ome from.
Thirty years ago boy could dance
Until o'clock in the morning, finish
lp on roast goose dinner, go to bed
It 5, sleep until Z and go to work as
right as a cricket, Nowadays when
young fellow dances until 1880 he
links he has had a night of it and
las to sleep until noon, The girls
ook like wilted petunias and have to
est whole day. And yet they say
he world lives harder and faster to-
ay!
He was visiting big city in COM
any with friend and was knocked
own on crowded street by motor
ar and rendered unconscious. The
riend bent over him and they were
surrounded by crowd.
he friend yelled at the crowd, Stand
ack and give him air, and some one
urry with some whiskey." At this
he injured man spoke up in weak
dice. "Never mind the air.
q z .
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1921-02-03
TALES OF TOWN
ODE TO oUR Law MAKERS

D. s.
Mr.. Lawmaker, man Of might,
Lead US toward the path Of light,
Keep us always in the right,
Make : law.
When you get up feeling bad,
When your neighbors make you mad
Help all other to be sd
Make law.
Should your neighbours cat to NEW
And you don't known what to do,
II you find you cannot sue
Make law.
Should your neighbor cough too often
And he should not try to soften,
Stop, refrain, or hush his coughin',
Make law.
Don't permit the cigaret
To become the soldiers pet;
Make them scarce and hard to get,
Make law.
If your telephone don't ring
Don't stand back and cuss the thing,
Take it out, and then, by jung!
Make law.
For the man who tills the clod,
For the one who packs a hod,
Fen for him beneath the sod
Make law.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1921-02-03

WHILE The Index, and every good
citizens endorses the campaign in
Augurated last week by the women's
societies Of this community against
the use Of cigarettes by minors. and
Is with them in demanding that the
law governing the sale and use Of
cigarettes be enforced to the letter,
still unless by wise counsel and teach
ing in the home and in the school the
peynicious effect Of tobacco upon the
growing child is persistently but
kindly pointed out, permanent re-
suits cannot be obtained. As an eS-
ample, the writer personally knows
Of boys who hare quit the habit for
ever they say--becausc they found
they could not qualify in school ath-
letics il they used tobacco. The per-
nicious effect Of tobacco upon the
heart and nerves and muscular energy
was pointed out in = kindly but i'm
prensive manner, The decision to
quit was made without duress, md
the chances are those boys will be abb
stainers forever. The law on the
Idaho statute book is good one. and
it should be enforced. Bur II boys
can be induced by parent, teacher or
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1921-02-03

Nearly every community has man
who can tell how many tons of salt
could be extracted from all the
oceans and how many millions of
years it would take for man to make
trip around the ring of Saturn in a
second hand Ford, but to save his life
he cannot tell where the food and fuel
for the family use next week is to
come from.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1921-02-03

Another comet is coming along this
year. Scientists tell us it is not Hal
ley's comet that we saw in 1910, but
that ypu will readily recognize it
as the one that last visited US 1896
years ago.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1921-02-03

As hint to revivalists we want to
suggest to the brethren to stress the
doctrine that there will be no taxes
income, state, municipal, county, ex-
else, ad valorem, poll, dog or sur
in heaven.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1921-02-03

No matter how much your wife
may know about home brew, she can't
give you the kind of medical atten-
ton the morning after that the old
time bartender used to dispense.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1921-02-03

"You're wanted at home" tele
phoned Old Bill Misgivens to hi
neighbor who was down town
"Your wife has just presented 20,
with another rebate off your income
tax"
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1921-02-03

There's nobody to blame but the
weather man for the shortage of the
natural ice crop so far this winter, as
the acreage was just as big as in 9TH
err years.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1921-02-03

He was visiting a big city in COM
pany with friend and was knocked
down on crowded street by motor
car and rendered unconscious. The
friend bent over him and they were
instantly surrounded by crowd.
The friend yelled at the crowd, STAND
back and give him air, and some one
hurry with some -whiskey." At this
the injured man spoke up in weak
voice. "Never mind the air.
q = .
The new minister in a Georgia
church was delivering his first SER
mon. The negro janitor was criti-
cal listener from back of the church.
The minister's sermon was eloquent,
and his prayer seemed to cover the
whole category of human wants. AZ
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1921-02-03

"Why does a woman invariably
close her eyes when kissed?" asks ar
exchange. Well, any man has only
to look into the mirror to find the an
swer.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1921-02-03

The Agricultural college of Ore
gon has a sensation. The extension
division has been stamping across
letters sent out by that department
the words, "Use pure bred sires."
And by mistake the college postof-
flee stamped the slogan upon letters
mailed by the boys to their sweet
hearts.
Cheyenne Wells record. (Cheyenne Wells, Cheyenne County, Colo.) 1???-1969, 1921-07-14

American mariners are to receive
storm warnings by wireless from all
parts of the world under arrangements
perfected by the shipping board with
most of the high-power radio stations
in different countries. Managing agents
and masters of shipping board vessels
were notified that the warnings would
be sent broadcast on schedules fur
nished by the ships radio operators.
Because of the number of vessels still
on the seas without radio equipment,
the warnings nre to be passed on from
ships receiving them by other means
when such vessels are slghted.-Scien-
tific American.
Cheyenne Wells record. (Cheyenne Wells, Cheyenne County, Colo.) 1???-1969, 1921-07-14
Flying Gas Cloud.

A cloud of glowing gas has been
discovered flying through spice at a
speed Of LIPS miles per second.
Readers may be relieved to know
that 1t is travelling away from us, but
even If 1t were coming our way there
would be nothing to fear. as many
thousands, perhaps millions. Of years
must elapse before it could reach us.
How 1t manages to remain intact
while travelling at such dizzy speed
Is mystery. Equally mysterious is
the manner In which 1t was able to
get up such a speed.
The most probable explanations are
that 1t has been shot from somergi-
gantic sun belonging to asunivesse Of
stars far beyond those we can see, or
that 1t is. gradual accumulation Of
gas or gases which ultimately. will be
formed into stars such as we see
around us at night.