The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-10-30
Shades of the Garden of Eden! ]!

VT WASN'T often that Marshal
 Crow acknowledged that he was
 in a quandary. When he did find himself in that rare state of mind, he invariably went to Harry Sauires, the editor of the Banner. for coun- sel-but never for advice. He had in the course of protracted career as preserver of the peace and dignity of Tinkletown, found himself con fronted by seemingly unsoIvable mys- teries, but he always had succeeded t1n unravelling them, one way or an- other, to his own complete satisfac- tion. On the grossest ifhpudence on lthe part of the present chronicler would permit the tiniest implication to creep into this or any other chap ter of his remarkable history that might lead the reader to suspect that he did not solve them to the com lplete satisfaction of any one else. So quite obviously, the point is not one ito be debated
 As nearly every one knows, Tinkle- town is a temperance place. There Is no saloon there-unlesg of course, one chooses to be rather nasty about eBrubaker's Drugstore. Away back in Ithe Seventies-soon after the Civil War. in fact-an contemplating but
 ntt nfa n establish bar-room at the corner of Main and Sickle Streets. He opened the Sunlight Bar and for one whole day and night revelled in the con viction that he had found silver , mine. The male population of Tinkle- Nown, augmented by swarm of lNould-be inebriates from all the SSarms within 8 radius of ten miles. 'jdocked to the Sunlight Bar and pro eeeded to get gloriously and coliec- lively drunk on the contents of the two kegs of lager beer that consti- tuted an experimental stock in trade
 The next morning the women of Tinkletown started in to put the Sum light Bar out of business. They did moi. as you may suspect, hurl stones nt the place, neither did they feioni- | ously enter and wreak destruction with axes, hatchets and hoe-handles. Not A bit of it. They were peaceful, iaw-abiding women. not sanguinary emsxons. What they did was per fectly simple.
 l Bright and early on the second day of the Sunlight Bar, the ladies or Tinkletown brought their Knitting rnd their sewing down to the corner of Main and Sickle Streets and sat themselves down in front Of the l shrinking "silver mine." They came with rocking-chairs. and camp-chairs, and mtlk-stools, and benches, too, and instead of chanting doieful lay, they Iehattered In blithe and merry fashion. There was no going behind the fact, however. that these smiling. feomtiacent women formed the Death watch that was to witness the swift, inevitable finish of the Sunlight Bar.
 They came in relays, and they stayed until the lights went out in the desolate house of cheer. The next day they were on hand again, and the next, and still the next. For tunately for them, but most unluck- fly for the proprietor of the Sunlight Bar, the month was August: they could freeze him out, but he couldn't freeze them out.
 s Sheepish husbands and sons passed them by, usually on the opposite side walk. but not one of them had the hardihood to extend q helping hand to the expiring saloon. At the end of week. the Sunlight Bar drew it's last breath. It died of starvation. The only mourner at it's bier was the bewildered saloon-keeper, who en- gagged a dray to haul the remains to Boggs City, the County seat. and it was he who said. as far back as 1870, that he was in favor of taking the vote away from the men and giving il exclusively to the women.
 TinkIetown, according to the sage observations of Uncle Dad Simms, was rarely affected by the unsettling problems of the present day. This talk about Tabor unrest" was ridicu- lous, he said. If the remainder of the world was anything like Tinkle- town, labor didn't do much except rest. It was getting 80 that if a workin'-man had very far to walk to "git" to his Job. he had to step along purty lively if he wanted to arrive there in plenty of time to eat his lunch and start back home again. And as for "thls here prohibition question" he didn't take any stock in M at all Tinkletown had got along without liquor for more than ia hundred years. said Uncle Dad simms. and he guessed 1t could get along for another century or two without much trouble. especially as EM was only ten miles to Boggs City. Besides, he argued. loudly and most violently, there wasn't anybody in l- >-~a-s At RaaaIiUu e that