davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-06-09
We TOWNE GOSSIP
Registered q. g. Patent ofAe>
BY X. G. B.

MANY YEARS ago. HE WAS much too
small.
sticks. HE ALMOST cried.
AND SOME balls. AND WHAT oon,d
AND A bag. do
AND A green sweater AND hung them on
him.
AM " 0' AND STARTED
AND HIRED caddie around.
LITTLE fellow. AND 1T was hot.
ABOUT FOUR feet AND thought he
tall. staggered.
AND HUNG the bag BUT HE said he
on him. didn't.
AND IT dragged. AND in the game
AND ANYWAY. 1 LOST three balls.
WENT around the AND TORE up lot
course. OF turf,
IN A couple of AND MY partner was
hundred polite,
OR WHATEVER it BUT | think the other
was. .. caddies.
AND PAD the caddie WERE LAUGHING
at me.
AND just PLAYED
AND THE next week nine holes.
Il MOVED away. AND THEN Quit.
TO ANOTHER town. AND WHAT think
AND SINCE then. - 40
UNTIL YESTERDAY. A oo f0lf'
MY CLUBS were idle. marbles. 'o' Oh
AND YESTERDAY. FOR THE littl. cad.
dies.
WENT out again.
AND rLL carry the
AND THE.only caddie marbles
THAT WAS left for AND AFTER while.
MIGHT like to plav
SAID HE was twelve. marbles ''''
BUT HE looked six AND JOIN them nv
AND WHEN I sug- sen. ..
gested | THANK YOU
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-06-09
THE SEVEN VS.

The ancient and unexpected or
der OF the seven w'--we Wont
Work. Will We? We wont
IL holding nightly meetings at
North Capitol street and New
York avenue and Is scouting fer
new mcmDers. THE BIC oNR
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-06-09
MANRF SD. OLD REANt

oueenle Have you ever kissed q
girlT
Oswald. II that an Invitation o.
are you gathering ststisucsG
RlCHARJ FORD.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-06-09
1nnEARlan5Efl -
AMONG OUR NOTABLES.

The District Cigar Mfg. Co, is
turning out cigars named for j.
THILMAN HENDRICK, former Dis
trict Commissioner, so widely popu-
lar. The top of the box states;
Excellence Quality
}. THILMAN HENDRICk
Natural Aroma.
Thilman's many friends have as
sured him that the aroma refers
wholly to the cigars.
Hon. BoIEs PENRosE, our emf
nent town councilman, has been
spending a few days among his
Pennsylvania constituents explain
ing why the plums are so slow OF
picking.
Hon. ALICE ROBERTSON, likewise
Of our town council, says there is no
such thing as "non-psrtisan govern
ment" She seems to feel kindly to
the unsuffragetted suffrsgettes OF
the District of Columbia.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-06-09
THE CHERRY MOUTH.

Boys. beware OF the mouth re-
sembling the skin of cherry and
glowing like a coal II will melt
the stoutest OF resolutions.
MILO IL
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-06-09
CRAZY SIGNS.

Going past a garage on Fourteenth
street, this sign caught my eye: "Au-
tomobiles washed in the rear"
L. K.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-06-09
"BE REASONABLE"

He had just married He had been pop
ulsr indeed but had now resolved to settle
down. His bride and he were dining out.
A very lovely lady passed, gave him look
of recognition and dangerous smile. So
dangerous was the smile that the bride
asked:
"Horace, who is that woman"
Horace held IN bis hand
BE reasonable he protested. Don't
20 bothering me about who she is I'M
have trouble enough explaining to her who
you are"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-06-09
A BASEBALL RECORD.

BLAINE COPPINGER, at ogdens-
burg. n. V. clips from the Syracuse
Post-Sta ndsrd an account OF base
ball game between the Pompey Amer
lean Legion nd South End ball teams.
A record Of hits in a ball game seems
to have been established. Ia the nrst
inning the Legion swatsmen collected
n safe hits and scored % runs be-
fore three hatters had been retired"
There were three homers, eight
triples, twelve doubles and eight
singles.
some swatfest for one inning.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-06-09
After all BaIas1 10 To be en-
WED! He cenversed with but
one jsckass In all his hfe.
KID ME1HUSELAH.

Lots of people will pay big prices
to see Dempsey and Carpenter
scrap, and yet many Of them are
used to such affairs right in their
homes! HARVARD.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-06-09
IL never occurred to rs . few
wears axo. when purchssisg .
/ ct, that the day would COME
when IL would be purchas~d on
IL. a Z. HARPERs FERRY.
THE sHoELEss ISLAND
oF .MIDNJGHT BLONDES

n. G. ~, fan of II. and s., with the
IT, s Marines at St. Thomas, Virgin
Isles. forwards a postal picture of
the marine barracks. He writes that
n. has seen mo midnight blonde on
the island with less than a No. 10
hoof, and to get shoe on one you'd
have TO catch her in bear trap"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-06-09
,s TT spAKEspEAREANr

where will find the proph-
ecy, And their corkscrews
shall be beaten into fishing
hooks" SAM SIMPLE.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-06-09

Give US the old-timer who
knew enough to keep quiet
when there was nothing TO
say.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-06-09
wOMAN's WAY.

~ offended John dreadfuliy."
Have you made up?'
''Oh, yes I succeeded in get
ting him to beg my pardon"
BOX CAR HARRY.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-06-09
NOT VERY WEALTHY

when ] asked friend the other
dsv for a loan OF rs cents he flashed
this printed card on me:
HONEST
I'm so poor I couldn't buy
bird seed for a cuckoo clock"
u. B.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-06-09
NONE Y.

Astronomers have for years
been trying to weighs light. But
some grocers have alwsys don.
IL. r. W. ZAUGG.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-06-09

Lady ito hilarious drunk
MY dear man, probably you
would mend your ways II you
knew how terrible he'll was"
"Hic, say lady don't tell me
about, hic. hell, know sw' bout
him. Hic, you see, Nv been
raisin' i'm for years
HARPERS FERRY.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-06-09

.Ad should leave talking to
boys like Kernel House,
who gets paid for keeping
quiet. Kernel scooted all
over Mexico. Never said
word. Never was contra
dicted. After he was gone,
folks all said Kernel was
most intelligent man they
ever looked at.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-06-09
HARPERs FERRY.

As a rule the job that seeks the
man is not worth having.
FRED VETTER.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-06-09

But they never boasted
about thing until II was
done. Then they didn't.
when ]. p. Jones boat sank,
he grabbed anvil in each
hand. and fought IL out on
bottom OF ocean. That boy
believed in operating on the
surgeon. Perry went through
La Ike Erie like secret through
sewing circle. Farrsgut was
disappointed because he
never had measles when he
was young.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-06-09

JUST A SAMPLE.
Just one of the buggy" letters that
reaches the column everyday:
Mail to Captain Bill Price,
Who steers the good skip
Heard and Seen.
Through giant waves of joke.
and merry Rhymes.
And islands Of pushes, clever
and keen.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-06-09

Not diplomatic. Diploma
Is cuckoo who doesn't know
enough to blow on hot soup,
but always insists on order
ing that Kind.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-06-09

Old-time Ads were men
who fought for right. Even
IL IL was wrong. Give EN-
towbost, bow and arrow.
three cheers, and they'd
raise the rent on Hades,
They carried chips on their
shoulder. not under their
hat. ....
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-06-09

Old timers had to talk
once in while. Limit was
four words. An angel was
bum to them. John Paul
Jones would have ridden
porcupine without saddle.
Perry would have smoked
cigar under gasoline show
or bath. Farrsgut would
have traded bites with buzz
saw
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-06-09

Sims trying to stir up an
other war. Hes past draft
age. He is oratorically noisy.
but mentally silent. Never
SAYS word. That makes
sense. He sims to be all
wrong.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-06-09

Old boy Is Glowing
around with neighbors'
children. Ad Is chirping
through his official hat.
Shouldn't send spsrrows to
Europe TO represent eagle.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-06-09

n AND MERMAID.
A typewriter-drawn mermaid BY
r. W. Zaugg:
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-06-09
The Freedom
of the Press

POSTMASTER GENERAL.
HAYS makes this public an
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-06-09
Mr.. B. Raer
SOMETHING SIMS TO BE
WRONG.
coOvrishs. isai. by Star %.

Ad Sims II jumping
through paper hoops in Eng
land in a manner that indi-
Gates prohibition hasn't done
a thing for him.
Evening journal., 1921-04-22
Introducing Yourself

tons and true nature.
I once said TO a stern man;
81 expect to live longer than you.
and TO conduct your funeral service
am going to tell people that you
are a fraud"
He started to be angy. then stop
ped. for he felt sure that 1 had not
meant it unkindly I went on:
You have blurred your way
through life. conceallng all that is
best In you. and everywhere putting
your worst foot foremost You have
tried TO act as II you were hard
hearted, and have acted as II you
were ashamed OF all that you have
most reason 90 be proud Of. know
that you have a very tender heart n
His eyes filled with tears. and ne
said
Boy. boy How did you End that
out?"
I only wish he had found Il ou;
earlier. wish all men would dis
cover their own best selves. They
live such grabbed, narrow. mean and
fretfui lives. strangling their better
selves
stand up and make bow 20 your
best self. and sit over and make more
room for him. He deserves it
Evening journal., 1921-04-22
SLASHED SKIRT
SEASHORESTYLE
Atlantic City Parade Also
Marked by Display of
Tan Hosiery
WHITE TOPPED
BOOTS ARE SEEN

ATLANTIC CITY-In a typical
springtime stylefest on the Board
walk observers OF capricious femin-
ist vogue tendencies noted the fol-
lowing:
Fringe upon nearly every part OF
miladys dress.
Countless red hatA IN high favor
with white-haired matrons possesss-
ing youthful figures
skirts slashed not once or even AT
both sides but all around from front
TO rear and hack again.
Many jaunty sports suits, of almost
mannish severity Of cut in vivid pur-
pie and pink tones.
An almost total absence Of the
not-long- ng-since-overwhelm pop
ular spat.
More feathered than benowered
turbans.
Unmistal<abie evidence Of a vogue
for tan silkeu hosiery and a proper
tionate decrease Of dove-gray stock
ings.
Lots Of low heels upon natty fem.
inine slippers
White boots laced mp 10 tho high
skirt line
More hour glass figures than In
any season since the waistline begaT
TO disappear.
Many buttoned up-the-back frocki
without any waistiine whatever.
Earring hat ornaments dangling
at milady's ears in fetching fashion
Evening journal., 1921-04-22
BY DIR. WILLIAM T. BARTON.

BY DIX. WILLIAM T. BAklON.
There is a person whom l should
like 20 have you meet. and whom
desire the pleasure OF introducing
to you. That person is yourself.
Please take a good look az yourself
in the glass. and make your best
bow.
Socrates asked you to be acquaint-
ed with this person, and so did Pope,
and so did many other distinguished
people. l regret that you do not
know yourself as we'll as you ought
There are many men OF whom W. f.
Eagan might have written:
He read the books which All the
wise men writ;
He searched the world for knowl-
edge. not for pelf;
He thought no man unknown, 50
keen his wit
But once he met q stranger
twas himself
This stranger 20 whom I introduce
you is we'll worth your knowing. You
know him but specifically. Much
that is best In him you do not know.
You are familiar with the common
place details OF his life, but you do
not sufficiently recognize his aspira-
Evening journal., 1921-04-22
SHOWING THE DANGERS OF CRAY
BY ADEIhNE KE.NNERLY.

Gray is literally being forced upon
us. To be smart this spring. one
must be gray-a very lovely and a
very dangerous color. IL has the
power to age one pitiably. and the
power 70 enhance ones beauty. They
who do not heed this warning. and
take these suggestions, may find
comparisons extremely odlous in
crowds with women who have learn
ed the secrets Of the magic gray.
Tall Blonde. Slight Color.
4 You may wear slinky creations
with a swooping hat (be certain the
swoop is gracefully and have a bit OF
blue somewhere blue feather or
flower on the hat. turquoise beads. or
bar pin. A touch OF blue to match
your eyes, az the throat. OF a girdle.
Small Blond, Light Color.
The same general idea may be
carried out, but your hat must be
small, or toque fashion, instead OF
swooping. smart todue, carefully
selected. with a touch Of blue some
where to relieve the gray. is your
safest buy.
Brunets With High Color.
Adwsedly / say "brunets with high
color" because. TO wear gray the
brunei must have color. II nature
hasn't endowed you with roses in
your lips and cheeks, the beauty
| doctors will; without this color,
the picture a colorless brunei in gray
will make is somber indeed.
Drab or Neutral Type.
Consider quite carefully, when
/ buying ornaments and hats. your
build and proportions. Then touch
[ your gray costume with live pink,
rose. emerald green or. oh. so care
fully, a dash Of red. Because your
hair is neutral and your cheeks pale
is no proof that you are not pretty
You are not the vivid type. therefore
select bright. or vivid clothes.
Choosing the wearing apparel. thu
spring. Is a matter which should be
given much thought For whenever
fashionable shades lend such won
derful possibilities as they do now
there Is great danger OF mixing the
ingredients with disastrous haste
Evening journal., 1921-04-22
CHALFANTLOSES
SUIT ON APPEAL
Supreme Court Affirms De-
cision of Chancellor
Curtis in 2 Cases
p. AND R. RAILWAY
GETS DECISION
Special 10 The Evening Journal.

Special 70 The Evening Journal.
DOVER. April 22.-The decree OF
Chancellor Curtis in the case Of JEFF
ferson d. Chalfant VS.. David J. Rein
hardt. attorney-generai on the rela-
ton OF Priscilla d. Ewes. was afirm-
ed in a decision handed down by the
Supreme Court yesterday.
This case involved title 70 a piece
Of property abutting that bought by
Chalfant az Ashley near Wilmington.
The Ashley Syndicate claimed that
the property in question was dedi-
Gated as a public street and Chalfant
contended Il was not so dedicated
and that IL was his private property
An action in trespass grew out OF
the dispute over ownership 10 the
property and was taken before
Chancellor Curtis by attorney -gener-
al Reinhardt in relation OF Priscills
ID. Ewes. who questioned Chalfant's
title to the disputed Ashley Place"
The case was decided against Chal-
fant by the Chancellor and the Su-
preme Court yesterday affirmed the
decision Of the Chancellor.
The Supreme Court also affirmed
the decision OF the Chancellor in tn,
case OF Lucie Van A. Shriver VS.. Johr
H. Dandy, ct al The question in.
volved was the construction OF tbs
will OF William II. Gregg, grand
father OF Lucie Van A. Shriver.
The decision OF the Superior Cour
Of New Castle county in the damage
cases Of Saunders c. Dillon and Clar
ence NJ. Beadenkopf vs.. the Philadel.
phia and Reading Railway Company
was reversed by the Supreme Cour
yesterday. The two men brough
suit for damages against the RAILWAY
company as the result Of a collision
between an automobile in which the,
we're riding and a train. They woi
the suit In the lower Court but al
stated the Supreme Court has new
reversed that decision.
Evening journal., 1921-04-22
SHIPS CLOCK
FOR DANIELS
Secretary's Timepiece Dur
ing War Given Him by
Navy Yard Men
PRAISES MEN
FOR WAR AID

WASHINGTON.-The bronze
ships bell clock which stood on the
desk OF Josephus Daniels during his
eight years he was Secretary Of the
Navy has been presented 20 the
former Secretary by delegation
from the Philadelphia Navy Yard,
who gave Mr.. Daniels a surprise
party" as he passed through Wash
ington en- route home from a speak
ing tour for the educational drive"
Of the Methodist Episcopal Church
South.
Mr.. Daniels was invited TO Ma
tional Press Club. There he found
memb bers Of the North Carolina dele
cation in Congress, naval officers,
the men from the Philadelphia Navy
Yard and others. The clock, which
had been purchased from the Navy
department by the Philadelphia
delegation. was presented by Bert
Crowley. spokesman for the delega-
ton and president of the Philadel-
phia Navy Yard Development Asso-
Evening journal., 1921-04-22
MUST CAREFOR
ABNORMAL BOY
Those Tardy in Learning
Must be Looked After,
Says DR.. Graves
FEARS TOO MANY
co INTO TRADES

Dr. Frank Pierrepont Graves, dean
OF the school OF Education OF the
University OF Pennsylvania, delivered
a lecture on THE Educational Ten
dency OF Today. before a gathering
Of parents and teachers In Tower
Hin school last night. Josiah Mar
vel, chairman Of the board OF trus-
tees OF the school. introduced Dr.
Graves and explained that the pur-
pose Of these series OF lectures. Of
which last nights was the first We're
not for the teachers alone. but also
for the parents we want 10 get
away from that habit OF letting the
teacher do Il ALL feeling that we pay
her to look out for our children. and
Il is 10 this end that we have arrang-
ed for a series OF lectures" Mr.. Mar
vel said.
Dr. Graves said IN part, 'It ir a
remarkable period IN which we are
| living. In the nineteenth century
we advanced along mechanical lines.
We overcame wind and water. We
got the steamboat. liquid air. and
the way we developed along surgical
line is astounding We think Of a
time not so FAR back. when II one had
/ 90 undergo an operation he did it
merely because he expected 20 die
anyhow, and the operation then was
a short cut
But this. the twentieth century
Is the drawing OF new era, and IL
Is along educational lines. What
has become a big factor IN this way
Is vocational schools. What 1 mean
by this Is, commercial. home ecomo
mics. agriculture. and a number Of
other trade subjects. Many Of ui
think those subjects are not educa-
ton at all, but that Is because We
have our traditions about the COLLEGE
and what IL stands for. Some year.
ago we scoffed at the mere mention
OF business college. but w
have them today. Now all thes'
things may not be what we want, bu
we have them and they have grow
out OF present day conditions.
, The way to. md out the educa
! tional status OF a state or country 4
. by survey. and In this you people O
! wilmington are not behind in IN
b campaign you have been conducting
, along this line, in your State an
= city.
vocational education is bein
= carried on in an uneconomic and un
. ethical way. The last war demon
strated that. Germany with ne
2 hundred years OF more OF industria
training very nearly won the wal
2 lust because she was well equippe
o. industrially. Twent years ago ther
y were only three vocational school
4 in the United states; now there ar
r over a hundred such schools. an
good ones But we have carrie
r this thing too far. while / admir-
e in any boy the desire 20 enter
trade. there Is tho great danger ths
: too many boys will get into IT.
Just think OF the hundreds Z
men. working In the trades VIII
n might have given vision 10 thousand
10 II they had not been relogated
70 trade. Now here comes the ques
Evening journal., 1921-04-22
PLAYED CRAZY
TO OESCAPELAW
Alleged Confidence Man
Feigned Insanity and
Hid in Asylum
DETECTIVE SAY
HE CONFESSES

SAN FRANCISCO.-After felgn-
ing instnity and hiding in a Stock
ton sanitarium. Dayton Stout. alias
Richard Travers. Ralph Brown.
Ralph Wyatt and c. c. Ciemenceau,
wanted in Chicago and other cities
on charges OF forgeries and conf
dence games has been discovered
and arrested.
Trailed from Chicago 70 San Fran
cisco and realizing that the detec-
tives were closing in on him. Stout
planned a singular method OF elud-
ing the sleuths He disappeared from
san Francisco and for two weeks
became an inmate In the insanity
ward OF the Stockton sanitarium.
Stout was found, according 70
Philip f. Geauque, San Francisco
manager OF the Pinkerton agency
by the police OF Stockton with his
clothes torn, in a dazed condition
and bleeding from bruises and was
believed by the police at that time
20 be the victim OF an automobile
accident.
When questioned he did not re-
member his name. but told stories
OF wandering through the snow and
jumping of mountains. impreslnl
the surgeons who attended him a,
being a victim OF amnesia- He wa.
examined also by DR.. Fred p. Clark
superintendent OF the State Hospita
for the Insane. He remembered n,
had a family in the East and though'
that he had az some time or othei
been in New York and Chicago.
Investigating the stories which ap-
peared in a Stockton newspaper
Pinkerton detectives confronted Stou
with indisputable evidence and OBJ
tained a complete confession from
him.
Stout. according to detectives. wa
employed In a printing establish
ment in Chicago and came into pos
session OF vouchers that we're cash
ed by the First National Bank o
Chicago.
After working confidence games il
Chicago, and with large amount o
money from the forgeries. stou
started West He went to Los Angelo
and came to San Francisco, stopping
at a number OF hotels here unde
different names
Evening journal., 1921-04-22
SEVERAL AFTER
TAX COMMISSIONER

Several names have already been
mentioned for the position OF State
Tax Commissioner under the new
school tax bill passed by the recent
Legislature, although Il is said Gov
ernor Denney viii not likely make
the appointment before next fall.
Romulus Hopkins. secretary Of the
Kent County Republican Committee.
and Frank Danner. collector OF State
income tax, are said to be candi-
dates FOR Tax Commissioner. The
names OF former Governor Simeon
8. Pennewill and former United
states Senator J. Frank Alice have
Evening journal., 1921-04-22

urday or Monday. No more beans
on Sunday. No more breakfasts In
bed for the goods. No more sun
day afternoon dates. No more Sun
day spooning. The wind will not
be allowed to blow on Sunday. The
sun must rise at . A NJ. and set at
8 p NJ.
The students also say the huge
sign which hangs in front Of the ma
tonal headquarters Of the Women's
Christian Temperance Union in
Evanston must not by any means be
stolen on Sunday. II has been re-
moved three times in the last year
and the last time was found dangling
from the tower Of one Of the build
ings
Evening journal., 1921-04-22
No MEALS in
BED FOR GOODS
Northwestern u. Chapter
Presents Own Ideas
About Blue Laws
EVEN SUNDAY
DINNERS GO

CHICAGO-Students OF North
western University have their own
ideas about blue laws. A recent
edition Of the Daily Northwestern
chronicles the organization OF a
Southwestern University chapter Of
the Women's Christian Temperance
Union" Here are some OF the rules
the new organization will advocate.
Sunday dinners will have TO he
dispensed with. the announcement
reads. They must be eaten on Sat