Arizona republican., 1921-10-22
LARDNER WEEKLY LETTER
 By. RING ". LARDNER
BATHING MADE PAINLESS

To the editor:
 was reading a magazine the other
 day and they was story in it by
 Scott Fitzgerald and the hero of the
 story has got some money and lives
 alone in a N. Y. apartment and takes
 a bath every A. NJ. like people al
 ways do in storys, only this bird
 wouldn't stand for his bath being a
 total loss so he had book stand
 rigged up in the tub so as he could
 enjoy himself reading vile he took
 his bath and 1t sounded to me like
 great idear and if everybody done
 1t they would be a whole lot more
 people that would take baths because
 a bath wouldn't be such a bore if you
 had a good book to read vile you
 took it.
 But then, of course they's a whole
 lot of people that don't enjoy reading
 when they are takeing a bath or no
 other time to say nothing of a whole
 lot more people that can't read and
 these kind of people generally all
 ways needs bath as much as the
 rest of us do to say the lease, so I
 got to thinking what else a person
 could do to take their mind off the
 rigors of the tub and you would be
 surprised the amount of different
 pastimes that suggest themselfs to a bright mind and 1 will only name a few of them that I thought up off
 hand and my readers is welcome to
 use them as I outline them or i'm
 prove on them as they see fit and if
 they help make the world a cleaner place to live in l will consider myself well paid.
 Vile as I say they's a good many folks that don't like to read. they's very few who don't enjoy looking at pictures and even more so when they would at the same time be playing game that requires nerve and skill. The game is to fix up a book rack at the foot of the tub and just before you climb in the tub you put a book on the rack like for inst. a book con- taining 25 views of Atlanta. Ga. The book is open to Page one and the player must remain in the tub till ne
 has turned the entire 25 pages useing only his toes to turn the same. The first few times it will probably take a long vile to say nothing of how il will tickle. but in a wk. or so the player will be able to do the trick in to 6 minutes besides being cleaner than he ever was in his life and able to answer any and all questions that
 may be asked him in regards to At ] lanta. Ga
 Other Athletic Amusements | But they's other things besides ! books and pictures to take the curse i off what the French have so aptly | termed le bain. For the golfer I | have invented the game of tub golf
 which you play pretty near like the | outdoor game only that the number | of strokes don't make no differents | but the length of time it takes you i to hole out is what counts
 1 The player uses two regula ton golf | clubs. a nibhck and a butter, and l regular golf ball. At a certain time ! re turns on the waiter in the tub. l leaveing the stopper out The water | is allowed run only five minutes and | the players object is to loft the ball | into the tub with the niblick and ] then putt it into the stopper hole as | quick as possible so that the ball will 4 he there to act as stopper before ! much of the allotted time has l elapsed.
 ! The quicker the ball gets in the l hole the more water you get for your 1 bath. but no matter how long it takes ! you to hole out. you have got to 1 climb in that tub and stay there five
 minutes yourself after you have