Atlanta tri-weekly journal. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1920-19??, 1921-03-03
DOROTHY DIX TALKS
BY DOROTHY DIX
Training Men for
MatrimOny
Copyright, 1920, by the Wheeler Syndi-
cate, Inc.
A COLLEGE professor says that men
~ should be trained for marriage.



dertake the greatest work in the world, that
Of making a home and rearing family,
come to their jobs as raw amateurs instead
of highly specialized professionals. This is
why second marriages more generally
happy than first marriages, and why widows
and widOwers, even if they are of the grass
variety, are preferred matrimonial risk.
Undoubtedly, should be trained for
matrimony; and if l directing the
course of study, l should begin with a kin
dergarten study of bills While boys mind
was young and receptive, I should familiar
ze him with grocery bills and butchers
bills, and green grocers bills, and doctors
bills and rent bills and millinery and dress
making bills, and shoe bills, and every other
kind of bill and i'll to which matrimony is
heir.
Then when he got married it would not
come to him with such a horrible shock of
establishment that there is a great and
almost prohibitive price tag pinned to FAM
lily life, and that man has to pay for the
privilege of having home and wife and
children. It's a mean, cruel, undetermined
trick to let an unsophisticated youth blunder
into matrmOny without having the least idea
of it's cost
He has been fed up on the lie that two
can live as cheaply as one, and he has gen.
eral idea that there is some special Provi-
dence that looks after newly-weds, and feeds
and clothes them the ravens did Elijah,
and that, anyway people who are very much
in love don't need much food. He gets mar
| ried on this platform, and when he ascertains
that what was enough and plenty for one.
isn't third enough for two, and that he has
practically sold himself into slavery to land.
lord and grocers, and dry goods store pro-
pretors, it is no wonder that he so often
rebels, and sOurs on matrlmony.
Then I would train boy for matrimony
by having him make an elemental study Of
Justice I should teach him that marriage is
a partnership in which a man and woman
pool all that they have of heart, and brain,
and energy; and that they are entitled to
share equally in the pleasures and profits Of
the venture.
would teach him that the woman who
does her duty as a wife, and mother, and
home-maker, who bears children and rears
them; who haggles with tradesmen over bills,
and who cooks, and sews, and mends, and
labors about fourteen hours day to keep
her family comfortable, is not supported by
her husband, and has no cause to execute
fip-fops of gratitude every time he gives her
a dollar bill.
She earns all she gets. And more. And
her husband should no more think OF doing
out nickels to her, or requiring her to give an
account of what she spends on herself, than
he would think of holding out on his bust
ness partner and asking him what he was
going to do with his part Of the firms earn
ings.
I should also teach my boy to be just
enough to recognize that wife has right
to her own personal opinion, her religious
and political faith, and to a rational amount
of amusement, and that because woman
happened to be married to him was no rea-
son why she should be the echo of all his
opinions, and desire to spend all OF her time
admiring him.
Then I should further train the boy for
matrimony by having him make profound
study of feminine psychology. Men nave
never thought it worth while to study women,
yet there is no other subject that would bet
ter repay the effort. For any man can work
any woman If he only takes the trouble 10
| find out how to do it.
The trained husband would know that the
salve jar is nlightier than the hammer with
women, and that you can easily caJole
woman along the road that yol- cannot drive
her into He would be able to analyze MS
wife's tears and know when she wept for
grief, and when she wept for revenue only,
and so know when to pat her on the back
and say, "There, there" and when to tell
her not to be a fool.
Above ALL he would be wise to the fact
that if man wants his wife to pinch every
nickel until the buffalo bowls with agony,
he must praise her for thrift instead OF lam
basting her for her extravaganza. II ne
wants his wife to be cook who is cracker
LACK he must boast of her achievements VIII
the gas range, instead Of grumble over her
/
go as he pleases, instead Of having to punch
the time clock, he must proclaim aloud 10
his friends about how 1iberal-m1nded she 49,
| instead of making sneak when her DacK Is
turned. And if he doesn't want to buy her
new hats, and gowns, he must refrain from
criticizing her taste.
Then my student of matrimony should ac-
uuire a nifty line of conversation, suitable
for home consumption. The reason that most
women get married is to get companion:
and when they find out that they are united
to dummy with about as little entertaining
talk as a wax figure in store window, tney
are naturally disgrunt1ed.
Nothing would do more to make marriage
cheerful and pleasant than for men to pc
trained to collect news, and disseminate 1t
in a pleasing and interesting fashion IN the
family circle. Whenever you find a man
who is jolly and gossipy at home, and VINO
takes the trouble to scintillate as mucn at
his own table as he does at other peoples,
YOU will find a home in which marriage IS
success.
Finally, I should teach boy to be tender
witt women, to be sorry for tnem, 10 DC
gentle with them: for there come times to
everv woman when marriage is failure to
her unless she can throw herself upon the
tenderness of her husband, as she can upon
the mercy of Cod.
The professor is right. Men should be
trained for matrimonv, but If they were no
man would escape. Every woman would be
after him.
(Copvright 1921, bv the Wheeler Syndicate,
Inc.)
REMARKABLE REMARKS