davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1921-01-25
THE 18th and ID ST. LINE,

Regarding a complaint that at the
eastern terminus of the 18th and d
street line, conductors occasionally
refuse to open cars for passengers.
until just before starting time, no
matter what the weather, Superin-
tendent STEPHENS, of the w. r.. and
e. Co., sends to the editor the COM
pany's instructions to conductors.
Rule 81 especially forbids this. par
ticularly during inclement weather"
Mr.. stephens would like to be in
formed when the rule is disregarded.
The Washington times., 1921-01-25
MAYNARD YOUTH

Johnny listened to a sermon
On Maynard Youth Benighted."
Came Johnny's turn to make a speech,
And here's what John recited:
king Solomon and King David.
In youth led Maynard lives.
Each had few afnnities
Besides his numerous wives:
But when old age came creeping on
With all its aches and Qualms,
King solomon wrote the Proverbs,
And David wrote tho Psalms"
ALOYSIUs.
The Washington times., 1921-01-25
PERFECTLY CLEAR.

the man.
Upper or Iower7" asked the agent
whats the difference?"
"a difference Of so cents in this
case" said the polite agent. The
lower is higher than the upper. The
higher price IL for tho lower. II you
want to go lower you'll have to 60
higher We sell the upper lower than
the lower; in other words. the higher
the lower. Most people don't Ike the
upper, although IL 10 lower on account
of being higher. when you occupy an
upper you have to get up to 90 to bed
and get down when you get up. You
can have the lower II you pay the
higher. The upper 10 lower than the
lower because II 10 higher. II you are
willing to 60 higher II will DO lower"
The man waited not.
The Washington times., 1921-01-25
VHE British military government
in Ireland has ordered the

troops to destroy the dwelling
houses in neighborhoods in which
. attacks have been made upon soldiers
and military policemen The official
statement says that "this action is
taken to deter further attacks upon
the soldiery and police and as an
example to other districts. This
is precisely the action taken by the
German military government in Bel
GUM five years ago. And the excuse
offered by the British military is,
word for word and letter for letter,
the excuse offered by the German
military government.
When the Germans invaded and
. occupied Belgium the Belgian popu-
lation was disarmed, just as the Irish
population has been disarmed; cur
few ordinance was enforced in Bel
GUM, just as curfew ordinance is
now being enforced by the British
military police in Ireland; Belgian
men found with arms were shot by the
German military police, just as Irish
men found with arms are shot by the
British military police; and when a
German soldier or a military police
man was killed in any part of a Bel
gian city, the houses in the vicinity
were ransacked, the occupants driven
out and the torch applied.
All this was done on the military
plea that such action would deter
further outrages and be salutary
example to other districts. The only
difference between the conduct of
/ the German military authorities in
Belgium and the present conduct Of
the British military authorities in
Ireland is that the reign OF terror
and bloodshed and destruction in
Belgium was limited to the city Of
Louvain, where four blocks of build
ings were destroyed, whereas the
reign VI CcIIOI d1Au UAOOOoACN e~AAN
destruction in Ireland has already
destroyed the better part of the city
of Cork, at least a score of flourish
ing towns, as well as the principal
factories and industrial establish
ments of southern Ireland, and has
resulted in the slaughter of more
than three times the number of Bel
gians put to death during the whole
period of the German occupancy.
= The historical parallel between
Belgium and Ireland is very COM
plete and ought to be studied if one
wishes to speak of the Irish ques-
,tion with understanding. There
are men now living who we're born
in the world when Belgium was still
The Washington times., 1921-01-25
An Unusual Parallel
In Ireland and Belgium

when Belgium was still politically
subject to Holland, as Ireland is
politically subject to England. At
that time the Belgians as ardently
desired to be independent Of Hol-
land as the Irish desire to be in
dependent of England.
Mingled with the political and
racial differences which prompted
this desire of the Belgians was also
the difference in religion. The people
Of Holland were Protestant and the
people of Belgium were Catholic. For
many hundreds of years there had
existed the same causes of discomfort
and the same desire for separation
which have been so long at the bot
tom of the hostility of the Irish to
English rule.
The Belgians finally began to as
sert their right to independence and
to maintain it and defend it by
guerrilla warfare, exactly as the
Irish have done. And since it was
to the interests of England and
France and Prussia to weaken the
strength Of the Dutch kingdom,
these three powers interfered in the
Dutch quarrel, separated Belgium
from Holland, set Belgium up as
an Independent State and guaran-
teed it's security.
They did this by force of arms,
England and France sending a
strong fleet and assembling strong
army, between them, to compel the
acquiescence of Holland in the sep
aration of Belgium from Dutch rule.
This forcible division of Holland
occurred just ninety years ago, and
it was upon the treaty then made
between Holland, France and Prus-
STA, guaranteeing Belgium's indie
pendence, that the English govern
ment based its excuse for entering
the war against Germany after the
central empires had become in
volved in war with Russia and
France.
Thus you will see that with no
other difference, save the difference
of dates, the struggle of the Irish
for independence is an exact like
ness of the struggle of the Belgians
for independence. And if the United
States. with other powers, should in
terfere in order to separate Ireland
from British rule and to guarantee
the neutrality and security of Ire
land in the future, they would be
doing exactly what the British gov
eminent, in conjunction with France
and Prussia, did in the case of Hol-
land and Belgium within the recol-
lection of some men and women
still living. I
The Washington times., 1921-01-25
g. 11EARl. 5S5EENs.e1
GEORGETOwN's LOVERS LANE.

Contribs tell "DIMPLES" that
Georgetown's famous LAYERS Lane"
begins at r street, between Thirtieth
and Thirty-hrst streets, and runs
north into the woods at the rear of
Oak Hill Cemetery. In the vicinity Of
Montrose Park. So state II. Il. RIOS
SELL, AJAX" and JACK d.
JAMES HEATING says that II is
between Montrose Park and the es-
tate of the late Colonel HENRY
BLOUNT." That park is about ten
acres. and was donated to the District
through the generosity of Colonel
Blount's heirs.
tom and DUTCH" AL X. HALL,
and king OF THE LANE" all vol
unteer to show ''Dimples" the ad-
vantages of the lane any evening she
is at leisure.
The Washington times., 1921-01-25
INTERESTING PROBLEM.

This problem is not SO hard, bu
nay be interesting:
What number will divide into
2,253,S23 and produce a Quotient
whose figure may be reversed and
multiplied by the divisor to again
reach the original number?
DREW.
The Washington times., 1921-01-25

I SAW man with a big hat
NEAR THE Riggs Bank
AND MY friend told me he
WAS FROM tho West
AND HAD told him that out there
III THEY had cskios
WITH BELL bottom pants
AND WHITE compilations
AND SOFT hands
THEY WOULD make them eat
HOG AND steer meats
md SOME red pepper
TO MAKE them lively
AND III they lived
AND CONTINUED their habits
WOULD CHASE them away
OUT THERE In the West
WHERE MEN are HE men
AND I felt funny
AND FELT my chest
AND LOOKED at my hands
AND WALKED along
AND SAID nothing. MILO H.
The Washington times., 1921-01-25
What "Cenotaphn Means.

Several readers have written asking the mean
ing of "cenotaph." The word is derived from
the Greek words "kenos," meaning empty"
and "taphos," meaning tomb" In other words
a cenotaph IL a sepulchral monument erected In
honor OF person whose body lies elsewhere.
The Washington times., 1921-01-25
Wedding Superstitions.

The popularity OF June for weddings Is due
to the pretty omen that Juno takes an especial
interest in marriage and she protects and blesses
all who are welded in June. II a widow mar
ries a second time in the same Month in which
she was married before she win be widow
twice
The Washington times., 1921-01-25
ARKANSAS.
KISSING GIRL LAWMAKERS.

1t is not the opinion Of the fans
that jay-walking would be stopped
IL men were given permission to
kiss every woman crossing tho
streets in the wrong place.
NJ. c. thinks that the street cor
ners would be hlled with cake
eaters watching to dive for women
jay-walkers. DIXIE GIRL even
thinks jay-walking might increase.
The Washington times., 1921-01-25

Mandy-Lizzie, what yo' doing wild
dat shoe blackin'?
Lizzie-Chile, dat amt shoe blackin,
OATS ma massage cream.
HEN and CHIC
The Washington times., 1921-01-25
You don't have to go down on
the farm to see calves nowadays.
DEBE.
WANTED PLAIN ENGLISH.

Miss NJ, a washington school teach
err, sent n child home with this note:
please keep your daughter home.
She is pediculus."
The mother sent the child back
with this note: please write plain
English. 1 amt no school teacher"
Wonder what she would have said
had the word been written plainly7
PLAIN JANE.
The Washington times., 1921-01-25
ANNETTE KELLERMAN is
like General BYNG because both owe
their successes to tanks.
ROSE Of 7th and l..
THE DIrFERENCE.


Englishman-Pardon me. old maA-
but could you direct me to the near
ost subway station? Tn q deucid
stranger in this country, y'know,
but on the other side I'm a person
of Importance. am Sir Henry
Howsitt-Knight OF the Garter.
Knight of st. James. knight of the
Bath, Knight of the Iron Cross.
Dye mind telling mo your name. my
man7
Irishman-Me name Is Patrick
OConnor-Night before last, last
night. tonight. tomorrow night. and
every other d-n. night-Patrick
oConnor. OHIO.
He-Dearie, n kiss Is the Language
OF love.
she-well, why don't you say sone-
thing? JIM N. Il. CRICkETS
The Washington times., 1921-01-25
Explosion Carried Far.

Five tons of nitroglycerin exploded in a pow
der mill in Canada, and incidentally shattered
every pane of glass in the windows of a train
crossing a bridge over the Richelieu river more
than q mile away.
The Washington times., 1921-01-25
LISTEN TO OLD MILO.

Government clerks complain that
they must change their status to
get more money to meet expenses,
toher some of them might oct the
some effect by changing their ,
SPEED. MILO II.
The Washington times., 1921-01-25

Canned music has its limita-
tons. When the photograph In
the landlady's sitting room starts
up, "The Body Lies Upstairs" II
starts a riot in the savage breast
seeking repose in my sky-parlor.
JOE CONKLIN.
The Washington times., 1921-01-25
A GREAT COMBINATION.

Here's great combination:
Sign in a Washington feed place
Homemade rabbit pie with
Saxaphone music"
HARDWARE JAKE.
The Washington times., 1921-01-25
SPICE IN VARIETY.

SP1CE IN VARIETY.
Some fellows favor blonde girls
And some like sweet brunettes.
One duck know likes wild girls,
That's the only kind he gets.
Another guy likes innocent ones,
He lives on dreamy eyes.
friend OF his likes domestic oneA
The kind who make good pies.
know another fellow too.
He likes the foreign kind.
He plays the French and Spanish tee.
In fact-hes color blind.
But mel like variety,
love 'em--each and all.
Give me a new one every night,
DIGGUM.
The Washington times., 1921-01-25

l saw three cakes looking into the
window of a beauty parlor on G
street. They looked over the curling
irons and other paraphernalia and
then went in. M. A. r.
The Washington times., 1921-01-25

The rattlesnake handed
his fang bridgework to the
wolf and asked him IL he
wanted his rattles, too. The
wolf told him he could keep
them to amuse the children.
The lion turned in his teeth
and then. went out to get a
meal. Meeting a mule. he
roared in the good old-fash-
toned way.
The Washington times., 1921-01-25

The wolf asked him who
he was. The bird told him
he was an idcalized portrait
of the American eagle and
that he couldn't eat herbs
and berries because they
hurt his gums.
The Washington times., 1921-01-25

"Come a little closer, lion,"
chirped the mule. I'm a
little deaf" The lion stepped
a little nearer and the mule
knocked him for q series of
educational lectures.
The Washington times., 1921-01-25

As he was going out the
door, he met a queer looking
bird being chased by q spar
row. This bird was besk-
less, and had rubber claws.
The Washington times., 1921-01-25

After the whale had signed
away his riparian rights,
the monkeys had chopped
down all the trees and the
boa constructor was in a
straitjacket, the wolf tested
his neighborly smile in a
mirror.
The Washington times., 1921-01-25

How is IL that you've still
got your teeth7" he asked
the wolf.
The Washington times., 1921-01-25

"I'm going on to consult
a rabbit dentist about that
now" said the wolf as he
loped away.
The Washington times., 1921-01-25

Beautiful teeth l have
there" he said. II really
ought to put 'em In the COM
munity junk heap. But be-
ing real philanthropist,
I'll keep 'em to crack nuts
for the toothless squirrels"
The Washington times., 1921-01-25
We TOWNE GOSSIP
Registered U. s Patent once
X. C..
BY K. G. B.

AND ALL the time.
HE WAS yelling.
AND THREE times.
SHE LIFTED him up.
TO SIT him down.
AND THREE times.
HE sTIFFENED out.
LIKE A board;
AND SLID off.
AND RIGHT away.
WHEN HE'D slide
off. !
HE'D WILT.
AND GO limp.
AND SINK down.
AND YELL.
AND FINALLY.
I HELPED her.
AND WE broke him.
AT THE Joints.
AND SAT him down.
AND HE still yelled.
AND THE woman
said.
HE WAS acting that
way.
BECAUSE THE
conductor.
HAD LIFTED him.
ONTO THE platform.
INSTEAD OF letting
him. -.
CLIMB UP the steps.
AS HE wanted to.
/ THANK you.
The Washington times., 1921-01-25
Mr.. B. Baer
IN THE JUNGLE.

The turtle crawled up,
checked his shell, and wad-j
died away, looking like q
soft-boiled omelet with legs.
Instead Of his armorproof'
shell he was protected by a
beautifully engraved scrap
of paper. The porcupine
shed his quilts on the dotted
line and was handed a receipt
by the wolf.
The Washington times., 1921-01-25

The oysters Joined the
disarmament conference and
then went away on the half
shell to keep their appoint
ment with the walrus and
the carpenter.
The Washington times., 1921-01-25

JOHN HURLEY. the noted local
fisherman, is experimenting with
cabbage balls as a bait for bass.
The Washington times., 1921-01-25

He hadn't gone far before
he met a laughing hyena
who never read the papers.
The porky tried to throw up
q barrage OF needles, but
only raised a crop of goose
flesh instead.
The Washington times., 1921-01-25

Life is like the clever drawing
of a tooth. We think the real
thing is yet to come till we note
with amazement that 1t Is al
ready past. HAPPY SIX.
Askov American. [volume] (Askov, Pine County, Minn.) 1914-current, 1921-12-15
GET DAILY MAIL SERVICE

Commencing tomorrow Fri
day. Dec. l6) the one mail route
out of Askov which was COM
menced just a month ago on
that date and which has been a
tri-weekly service. will have dai-
ly service or six days a week.
The volume Of mail which was
handled on this route. the good
cooperation of practically all
the farmers along the route in
patronizing it and the fact that
Postmaster ]. X. Petersen has
plugged hard and put it up
strong to the Department at
Washington for daily service
made it possible to get that ser.
vice SO soon.
Askov American. [volume] (Askov, Pine County, Minn.) 1914-current, 1921-12-15
RED CROSS MEETING

A meeting of the Askov
Branch of the American Red
Cross will be held at the town
hall Saturday evening. Dec. H.,
commencing at 8 o'clock. This
is really the annual meeting of
the Branch as that should have
been held in October but was
withheld for while awaiting
the decision of the county COM
missioners in regard to paying
the salary Of the county nurse.
The annual meetings of other
Branches in the county have al
so been withheld for the same
reason. Now that the county
commissioners have decided not
to pay the county nurses salary
out Of county funds this project
will probably have to be kept up
by the Red Cross all over the
county or else dropped.
Several Red Cross Branches in
the county have dropped out of
existence since the war and it is
desired to ascertain Saturday
evening if the Branch at Askov
should be kept up. A member
ship of 80 is required to have a
local organization, but Of course
should there not be enough for
a local organization the indivldu-
al members can still retain mem
bership in the National Red Cross
organization.
No drive has been made for
membership in the Red Cross
here this fall and will most like
ly not be made unless effort
should be made to keep the
county nurse at the expense OF
the Red Cross.
If enough pay their annual
membership Of 81 to keep up a
local Branch then election of Of
ficers will take place Saturday
evening.
Askov American. [volume] (Askov, Pine County, Minn.) 1914-current, 1921-12-15

Mr.. Io is a young man and un-
doubtedly a brilliant scholar but
apparently he had difficulty
in filling out his program. With
an older and more experienced
speaker one evenings time
would not have been nearly
enough to tell about China and
there would have been no time
for blowing a cane together.
Really, when one stops to con-
slider he knows very little more
about China after having heard
Dr. Chuan Hwa Io than be-
fore. The questions asked him
regarding life in China, the
Shantung problem, etc, made the
meeting more interesting and re-
suited in getting more out of it.
Apparently Mr.. Lo does not like
the japanese and after the meet
ing it was better understood
when an American once asked
him what kind of an "ese" he
was Chinese or Japanese, why
he replied with the question,
what kind of a key" are you?
Yankee or monkey.
We believe there are white
men sent out by the State Uni.
versity who can tell us a whole
lot more about China, but any
way we saw Chinaman and
this was perhaps half Of the
show. His singing in Chinese
was something rare to Ameri-
cans and this was much enjoyed
The melodies were also very
pretty.
Askov American. [volume] (Askov, Pine County, Minn.) 1914-current, 1921-12-15
Christemsen.Jen~sn

The marriage Of Mr.. Jakob
p. Jensen to Miss Camilla Chris
tensen took place at the Danish
Lutheran church of Askov, last
Friday afternoon at 2 O'Clock,
Rev. S. ID. Rodholm officiating.
The bridal couple was unattend-
ed.
After the ceremony the guests
which included only relatives Of
the contracting parties, repaired
to the home Of the brides pa
rents, Mr.. and Mrs. Fred Chris
tensen. 4i miles north Of town,
where the wedding dinner was
served and the evening spent in
a social manner.
The groom is the second oldest
son Of Frands Jensen and came
TO this community nearly six
years ago from Nebraska, having
spent most of the time since on
his land. 5 miles northeast Of
town. He was in the service Of
his country during the World
War and saw action in France.
The bride is the oldest daugh-
ter Of Mr. and Mrs. Fred Chris
tensen, coming to this communi-
ty with her parents about a half
dozen years ago from South Da-
kota and has grown to woman
hood here. She is a quiet and
unassuming young lady who is
sure TO make friends wherever
she goes.
The young couple went right
to housekeeping on the place
northeast of town. which the
groom had prepared for his
chosen lifcmate.
The American joins with many
friends in extending congratula-
tions and best wishes to Mr.. and
Mrs. Jensen.
Askov American. [volume] (Askov, Pine County, Minn.) 1914-current, 1921-12-15
SANDSTONE HIGH WINS

The Sandstone High School
basket ball team defeated the
Hinckley High on the Sandstone
floor last Friday evening 20 to
ID. Their next opponents will
be the Cambridge High at Cam
bridge tomorrow friday eve
ming.
Supt. N. f. Schwartz attended
meeting of the Minnesota Edu-
cational Association at Minnea-
polls Saturday as a delegate
from the central district. at
which time legislation relative
to educational matters was dis
cussed and other matters gone
over. 1t was also decided at
this meeting to hold the basket
ball tournament for this district
at Forest Lake on March 3 and
4 at which time the 8 best teams
Of the Ia will battle for district
supremacy.
The Sandstone town team jour.
neyed to Moose Lake Saturday
night and played basket ball
with the town team of that
place. The game resulted in q
| tie score 23 to %.
Askov American. [volume] (Askov, Pine County, Minn.) 1914-current, 1921-12-15
Official Commissioners
Proceedings
Auditors office. Pine City. Minn..

Auditors office. Pine City. Mlnn..
Dec. 6th. 1891, one o'clock p. n.
The hoard of couaty commission
ers of Pine county. Minn., met this
day pursuant to adjournment; all
member present.
Petitions of Gust SundQuist and
Adolph Anderson, asking tn ba set
off, with their lands, from dat. No.
8 to Dist. No. 2. were on motion de-
MED.
A resolution was unanimously
adopted authorizing and directing
the county auditor. to tranafer from
the General RsxAntle Fund to County
Ditch No. 10 Fund an HsMsunt sum
cient Ia take up the warrants out
standing on said County Ditch No.
10 Fund; those warrants am0unttnS
to $2.O1666, plus interest.
Petitions signed by $50 signers,
resolutions by II churches, lodges
and clubs. school Ofncera OF Pine
county and the board Of education 0f
District No. =. asking the board 0f
county commissioners of Pine coun-
ty that the county take over the en-
ployment Of d county nurse. also A.
nancing the nursing program - .
county project, were presented to tho
board by Mr.. Enpey Of Hinckley.
After hearing considerable Argu-
ments for and against this prOp0si-
tion the board on motion laid this
matter on the table for further con-
sideration.
An order apportioning liabilities.
moneys and machinery between the
towns Of Bruno and Belden waa
made and duly fled.
Order 1919. approving the desiGna-
tion OF State Road from Sturgeon
Lake to Aitkin county line, by state
Highway Commissioner was re-
ceived and filed.
A communication from the state
Board of Control regarding buildings
at County Farm VIVA received and
read. same was on motion ordered
fled.
The matter Of employing 4 county
nurse was taken from the table. At
ter due deljberation. Commissioned
Stepan made motion that the re-
quest for the employment by the
county of a county nurse be denied;
said motion was seconded by Com
| missioner Thomas. Commissioners
Stepan. Thomas and Anderson voted
aye and Commissioner Hancock and
Chairman Oakland vested no; motion
declared carried and request denied
| On motion the board adjourned un'
III Dec. 9Th, 1924. o'clock A. N.
Askov American. [volume] (Askov, Pine County, Minn.) 1914-current, 1921-12-15

A large crowd turned out TO
hear Chuan Hwa LO, Chinese lee
turer. the fifth number Of the
lyceum course, at the d. B. 5.
hall last Friday evening. Mr.. Lo
was heralded as an accomplished
musician but this failed to ma
terialize. He however gave
much amusement to the children
with a few magic tricks and al
so gave a short and instructive
talk about China in general, but
it seems that more was expected
than was received.