Atlanta tri-weekly journal. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1920-19??, 1921-08-18
Dorothy Dix Ta1kS-1OW to Win a MOther-in-LaW


A young woman asks for recipe for win
ming the heart of mother-in-laW.
"My own mother died when l was babe"
she says, "and l have always hoped and pray
ed that l would find second mother in my
mother-in-laW, but alas, the mother of the
man | am about to marry is one of those
monopoStlc women who want to keep their
sons for themselves, and who begin hating
their daught erS-i1-law when their boys still
! in the cradle. How can l make this kind of
| mother-n-law love me-"
| 1t is hard task because there is no other
| jealousy in the world so fierce and bitter as
| mother jealousy. WheH a woman permits her
| affection Icr her children to become morbid
she sees their relationship to every one else
! through jaurdiced eyes, and it takes the wisdom
| of the serpent, the gentleneSs OF the dove, and
the patience of Job to deal with her.
| To such a woman it is the agony of death
| to know that she is no longer the dominant
| figure in her sons life, that he has set another
woman above her, that he turns to another
woman for the little things she had done for
| him, for the tenderness and cOmpanionShp that
she cannot give him. Therefore, she is bound
| to look upon his wife as her hated ,ival who
| has Snatched from her the one thing she valued
| most in life.
1t is useless to tell such woman that the
| love that a man feels for his wife and lor his
mother do not conflict that they are entirely
! TWO different passions. it is waste of breath
| to remind her that some ether woman gave up
her son to her. 1t is futile to point out to her
that her SelfiShneSS would doom her son to a
| lonely and loveleSS life. All she can realize
| is her bereavement. Her boy had left her, and
| gone to another woman.
| Perhaps, to a dagree, all mothers feel this
| when their sons marry. Certainly all mothers
| have sense of losing their sons when they
| marry that they do not have of losing their
| daughters when they marry. At every wedding
| 1t is the bridegroomS mother who is in tears
| while the brides mother is wreathed in smiles
and this is not always accounted for by the
Sordid consideration that in getting a girl off
| OF its hand family ShuntS heavy liability onto
| another'S shoulders 1t IS because every wom-
an knows that while no husband can wean a
daughter away from her mother, any wife can
| separate man from his mother if she is mean
enough to do it.
| The first thing, then, for a girl who wants to
| win her mother-in~law'S heart, is to make her
understand from the very beginning that she
does not mean to take her son from her, and
that she recognizes the prior claim of this older
love upon him. If she lives near her mother
n-law, she should 60 often to see her with her
husband, but she should also see to it that
! mother and son have frequent opportunities of
| being alone together. These heart to heart talks
| have been the sweetest thing on earth to the
| mother, and she will be filled with passion
| ate gratitude towards the daughter-in-law who
does not try to put an end to them, but actively
encourages hem
A daughter-in-law being younger, and, after
all, the victor, can we'll afford to be generous
and to make the advances to her mother-in-law.
She should not let her pride keep her from
openly seeking her mother-n-law's favor. She