davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1921-05-16
What Edison Thinks of You.

1 Inventor Edison, to determine whether col
3ege men are what he considers ignoramuses.
asks them Is questions. He calls the test
bis "ignoram0- meter"
| The IS questions we're put up to Edwin
Did prodigy" The lad turned in SO answers.
He said, among other blunders. that ITALIA
hassee ID in Tennessee. that Horace Greeley
founded the New York Herald, and that ma
hogany is the hardest wood.
| Don't smile at the boy wonder until sure
k0u could do as well.
Admitting that many folk would answer that
fopra is q snake, that John Hancock was the
founder Of an insurance company, and that
one Of the ingredients of good white paint is
! brush that doesn't shed bristles, there are
answered directly.
For instance, who invented printing? The
correct answer, supposedly, is Gutenberg. A
Chinese would differ, claiming that his an
testors printed from movable type several
thousand years before Gutenberg was born
what are felt hats made Of? Answer:
Hair or fur fiber. But Is this accurate? Many
lslt hats appear to be made from the sweeping:
gathered up by vacuum cleaner Probably
there are many who think that the cotton gir
was invented by some bartender. II Edisor
wants real "ignoramo- meter" he should in
clude these questions:
How many home runs did Babe Ruth knocl
out last year? Why does man take off hi:
hat instead OF his collar when riding in Al
elevator? II 4 dollar bought only four pound
81 sugar In 1920 when you had it, what is I
dollar worth now when you haven't got it
How many raisins should be used to the gallon
What was the name Of the genius who fgure
out how far apart to place railroad ties 8
& they can be walked on only with difficulty
Y Answer those and qualify-for a job in a
N Attenuation bureau!
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1921-05-16
AUfOB0FOGRAPHYA
To Sweet,

There Is NO doubt that Z great
many children suffer grave impair
ments of nutrition, because their
diet consists too largely Of carDo-
Enthusiastically foods and
sweets. This u the tendency to-
ward which all the mollycoddled
cakes, white bread. crackers and
pastries and cookies Nlead. Dad
and ] certainly do mot believe that
such q diet is advisable for any
boy or child.
An excess Of starchy foods and
sugars in the diet makes = child or
boy fat. perhaps, but fiabby and
anemic and too watery. that is. his
tissues retain too much water. He
looks white or pale, tires quickly,
and usually suffers more or less
discomfort called dyspepsia or indi-
gestion.
Piecing predisposes to that con-
dition. because the child with the
piecing habit is exceedingly prone
to prefer some article which is
chiefly starch or sugar. such as
cake or cookies or candy, instead
Of wholesome bread and butter
spread with sugar preferably
crude brown sugar because it has
not been robbed of the mineral
salts), a meat sandwich or bread
and milk, or crackers and milk.
Fleeing, in the sense of q regu-
lar lunch in mid-forenoon and mid
afternoon, is not bad habit at all !;
for young children it is a good
habit, provided always that the
lunch is a wholesome one.
Let no fond grandmother attempt
to credit father and me with the
teaching that sugar or candy is
preferable in any way to bread
and butter or milk or meat oI,yege-
tables or fruit, even though ounce
for ounce sugar is the more nutri-
tfous. All we maintain is that live
active, growing, normal children re-
quire a liberal allowance of sugar
las such or in simple candy with
regular meals or as dessert, thai
this sugar is As easily digested as
any food child can take. that it is
quickly available for oxidation tc
produce energy for the muscles, in.
GLIDING the heart muscle, Of ths
active child, and that 1t is a huge
mistake. based upon nothing but
prejudice, to withhold sugar from q
normal boy or child.
And may we say here again thai
there is no connection between SUI
gars or candy in the diet and infes.
tation with worms.
Dad and l have gone into thi.
sugar question very conscientious
ly, can tell you, and so far a.
normal boys and children are con
cerned, we are sold on sugar.
QUESTIONS AND ANSWERS.
Cause Of L0comotor Ataxia.
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1921-05-16
AII X
~ w!! !l[g !!.!, i R RAJ! 70

Please advise me what ID the
cause Of loccmotor ataxia. &c. K
HI
Answer-In about ninety per
cent Of cases the cause Is apyhilis
PLUS some such factor % pro-
longed worry or fatigue Possibly
locomotor ataxia may be caused ip
some cases By other infections than
syphilis. It must be clearly under
stood that in about 0ne-tenth Of all
cases there ID no evidence that the
patient has ever had syphilis. 1t
should also be remembered that in
At least one-tenth Of all cases of
syphilis the infection has been in
nocently acquired.
Nlgrain Tablets
Please tell me what the effect Of
migraine tablets would be il taken
to excess, and how many such tab
lets may be taken each day with
out doing harm. Nv. B. F)
Answer-All sorts Of concoctious
in pill, tablet, powder. capsule,
cachet and liquid form are exploit
ed for the relief or as "cure" for
migraine, sick headaches, neural
gia, grippe, that tired feeling, ia
tigue and even nervousness" The
kick" in nearly every such concoc-
ton is the coaltar derivative-
acetanilide, phenacetin, anti-pyrin,
or, in other words. acetphenetidin,
phenylacetamide, etc. drug that
benumbs sensation to pain, fatigue
or other disagreeahle conditions
but at the expense of depression Of
the heart and destruction of red
corpuscles In the blood. There can
be no good reason for taking such
remedy every day or every week
The effect Of frequent resort tc
such a drug is disastrous-gradual
weakening Of the heart, increasing
anemia, sometimes rather sudden
death, sometimes mental deteriora-
ton SO great as to require conhne
ment of the victim. 1t is a deplof'
able mistake to acquire the acenta
Hide habit or to depend on any
such drug for comfort.
Mistaken Notion Of the X.ray.
( l suffer with severe pains in the
stomach. 1t seems that certain
foods do not agree with me. l de-
sire to have an X-ray examination
made to ascertain exactly what tn,
ailment is and effect a complet,
cure. Would it be advisable to SCI
stomach specialist or 60 to /;
hospital?
Answer-You are likely to b.
disappointed with the X-ray exami
nation. The X-ray is merely one o
the aids a good doctor employs Il
determine definite point
would be unwise to have any kin,
Of X-ray observation made unless
by special request of your doctor
Many diseases give no X-ray evi
dence at all.
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1921-05-16
With Other Editors
Postmasters on the Merit System
[Chicago News. I

There is to be no reversion to the spoils
States. Not a few politicians have hoped and
worked for an abrogation Of the executive Or
der issued in 1916, whereby postmasters of the
higher classes were placed under the merit
rule. But President Harding and Postmaster
General Hays, while favoring some modifica-
ton Of that order, have NO intention of sacri-
icing the postal service to partisan politics
The order just issued, affecting postmasters
OF the first, second and third classes, retains
the merit rule and the test of competitive
examination for applicants, but it authorizes
the selection Of any one of the first three can
didates on the eligible list, instead of requiring
the appointment OF the one who passes the
theoretical examination most satisfactorily.
The theory OF the new order is that purely
scholastic tests are insufficient to insure the
appointment Of the ittest candidates, and that
certain limited and safeguarded amount of
discretion in making the selections would be
conducive to greater efficiency.
OF course discretion is often danxerous.
spokesman Of the old type could use to con-
siderable partisan advantage the privilege OF
selecting one Of the first three candidates for
given position. But abuses of this sort are
less likely in the federal than in state and
municipal services. The present national adj
ministration is committed to the merit prin-
ciple. and there is no danger that the postal
service will be turned over to the tender
mercies OF "axmen" in politicA Congress-
should heed the presidents Recommendation
and place all postmasters definitely and per-
mAnsntly In the classified service
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1921-05-16

@. What caliber revolver was
President Mckinley assassinated
with? E. E. H.
A. The official report Of the
medical staff stated that the bullet
with which President Mckinley was
assassinated was a 80 caliber.
@. When a recipe calls for a
teaspoonful OF baking powder
should the spoon be filled level or
heaping? M. F. o.
A. The spoon should be level
full unless the recipe says heap
ing.
@. What does the word Chau-
bunagungamaug-the name of a
lake in Acknowledgement? N.
e. W.
A. The lake near Webster,
Mass. has the Indian name
Chaubunagungamaug, which ID a
shortened form Of the old Algon-
Quoin, Chargogagogmaunchauga
gogchebunnygungamang. Its mean
ing has been much discussed, but
many authorities have decided on
the translation large water-where-
blAckbirds-make their-chatter."
@. From what plant or tree Is
the gingerbread fruit obtained. r
+.
A. The Doom Palm or Ginger
bread tree is native to Arabia, Up
per Egypt, and the central parts OF
Africa. The fruit is about the size
Of an orange and when the skin is
peeled Oh sponEy dry substance
Of insipid sweetness is found. This
substance bears a remarkable re.
semblance to gingerbread. A bey-
erage made from the fruit ia used
in fevers.
@. Where did the Daylight Say.
ing plan originate and what was the
, idea back of it? C. VIC.
A. The daylight saving measure
i provided that clocks should be NOV.
ed ahead one hour during sprins
and summer months and moved
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1921-05-16

back in October. This was to make
. greater number Of daylight work
ing hours. The idea originated IN
England several years ago but dio
not receive attention until the war
when 1t was adopted as an eco
nomic measure BY most European
countries, and finally in 1917 by
the United States. After the war
this measure was repealed. but
several states observe it, and many
cities in other states.
@. What is a natural Jack Lam
tern" and what causes them 70
form? W.L.O o.
: A. The "Jack O. Lantern" is .,
light which generally appears over
marshy places, in church yards ana
over stagnant pools. Many efforts
have been mads to discover 10
cause, but these efforts have failed.
One explanation IL that the ignls
fatuus. to use the scientific NAME
10 due to phosphureted hydrogen
gas, which possesses the properly
OF igniting when it comes in con-
tact with dry atmospheric air.
Y. Whit fish lay the most eggs!
FL. H.
A. The turbot lays the most eggs
shout 100000. This is an esu-
mate only. since 1t would take
person 12z,214 days to count tine
eggs OF one turbot. even should ns
count steadily IA hours day.
Q. Has Canada . Soldier Settle
ment fund? G. W.
A. Canada has q Soldiers Settle.
ment board, through which 2o.W
men have already been placed on
land and $4,000 more have quail
Ned by taking government train
ing.
Q. How much land did Thomas
Fairtax have In Virginia! n. r.
A. Lord Fairfax acquired 6.0oo'
900 acres Of land in Virginia. Thls
was 81 counties or one-fourth OF
The entire colony Of Virginia
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1921-05-16
The Daily Short S tory

back to the wild life on the ranch
and forget the past.
Silas opened the door of his house
and wandered through the deserted
rooms. He opened the closet where
his clothes we're stored, There
hung his overcoat, just as he had
left it on that spring day when he
had last worn it, SO long ago. How
we'll he remembered that day, full
of hope-hope so soon to be dashed
to the ground. A feeling of remorse
came over him that he had not writ
ten ag;in.
He took down the overcoat to
give it an airing, and mechanically
thrust his hand into the pocket. He
started. What was that inside? A
letter! He pulled it out. There was
the very letter he had meant to mail
on that day when he had been so
suddenly accosted by his friend.
For fully five minutes Silas stood
petrlhed, gazing at the letter in his
hand. Had he been such a wretch
as to forget to mail it? And he had
blamed her all these years-ac-
cused her of wrong. Then he look
ed at his watch. Ten minutes to
train time! The blunder of years
must be rectifed in those 10 min
utes.
Breathless, half distracted, Silas
reached the door Of Della's home.
Would she be waiting for him-had
he faith enough in woman to be-
lieve it?-or-he could not bear to
think of possibilite- that might
have happened. Why, she might
even be married to another!
Yes. she was in, her mother told
him. but she had been very i'll, was
still weak, could he wait?
No, he could not wait! Time was
too precious now. The waiting time
was past; now he was in a hurry.
He pushed past the mother and
rushed into the room where Della
was sitting, propped up in an easy
! chair. very pale, but just as beau
tiful as he had kept her in his mem
ory.
I've brought the letter." he
gasped, 1.-The letter l meant to mail,
and didn't. You see, twas all my
fault, my stupid absent mindedness,
/ was a brute not to write again !:
all this might have been saved. I've
been so miserable! How can YOU
ever forgive me?'
| He had blurted it all out, but the
look she gave him and the kiss with
which she answered his own told
him he was already forgiven.
Il almost thought you had for
gotten" she breathed. but it's all
right now you have come. and ]
know the reason why. l am &c
happy!"
Its more than I deserve" he
blamed himself, but she answered
with a smile that assured him Of
her forgiveness.
After an hour of confidence and
confessions he exclaimed
I "Oh. forgot to tell you, I've got
the fortune! We're rich!"
| But she did not seem to hear
Just to have him back was enough
Tor her. to know that he loved hel
still and that he had not forgotten
How could you do it," she cried
a. the funny part of it flashed
upon her, and she laughed as shs
mad not done since that day wher
happiness had seemed to 60 out o,
hef Life.
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1921-05-16
HONELY PHILOSOPHY.
raa n tina I naed IN feel

HOlELY PMUOOOKnIs
Thare vas q time used TO feel
That life was purity tough:
When Though I'm no hand to squeal-
Thought I was treated rough.
1 used to think It was shame
When / was treated bum.
But now I've learned to play the game
/ take things - they come.
There amt much use, It seems to me.
To frown an fret an stew
Cause things amt what they ought to b
An don't break right for you
used to want to start row
An fairly make things hum
To get my rights; it's difrent now
Jake things IS they come.
Now, mind you. amt sayin' that
A man should never fight.
For in the ring / toss MY hat
For what l think is right;
But till the other Teller starts
The row l Just keep mum.
I've learned the best Of all life's arts
To take things as they come.
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1921-05-16
THE DEAD LETTER
By Julia A. Robinson.

Copyright, 1921, by the Wheeler
Syndicate, Inc.)
Hello, old fellow" cried a ia
miliar voice.
Silas turned and looked into the
face of a friend he had not seen in
years.
HAL! Where did you come from?"
he cried.
1--WE just come into town." an
swered his friend. I'm here for
only few days. How is every
body"
Were al labout right, as far as
I know. You must come and stay
with me as long as you are here"
urged Silas, that is if you can
stand bachelor quarters"
Arm in arm the two friends left
the country postofhce where they
had been standing and sauntered
down the road, chatting of old
times.
They entered the farmhouse
where Silas lived. He hung his
overcoat in the closet and proceeded
to make his guest comfortable.
1T won't be bachelor quarters
much longer" he laughed. I'm
going to be married, Hal. Just
mailed the letter when you found
me, to set the day"
Congratulations" returned the
other. "Tell me how it happened"
"Oh, its a short story. You see
I'd started out to find my fortune.
didn't find my fortune but l found
the girl instead. I made up my
mind I'd come back, run the farm
and get married. So built dandy
house and fitted it up. We're to be
married in June, that is, if she will
be ready by that time. I told her
couldn't wait any longer, but ]
do wish / had a little more money
to begin on"
II beg the privilege Of being best
man at the wedding" urged his
friend.
Silas put his house in order
packing away winter clothes, for
the weather was getting warm. and
waited. He counted the days, hours
even, for the answer to his letter
He chided himself for being impa.
| tient when it did not arrive in q rea.
sonable time.
His friend left, promising to be
at the wedding in June.
Days and weeks went by and nc
letter came. Silas was troubled
but he would not write again. Per.
haps-what If she had changed heI
mind
The summer waned. Still no let.
ter came. Silas could stand it M
longer. Locking the door of hi.
house, he started for the west, hop.
ing to bury his disappointment il
hard work. He took up a claim
and titled the soil. The work cheer.
ed his spirits, yet he could not for.
get.
One day his spade turned up 1
handful Of yellow soil-gold! H,
knew the look of that bit of dust
There was gold on his land. H,
was a rich man! Yet what goo<
would riches do him without tn,
woman he loved to share it will
him!
Two years went by and Silas re
turned to his house, with money II
his pockets, yet disconsolate ant
sad. 1t was hard to return to old
scenes He would sell the place. 20
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1921-05-16

THE Chitribune, at least, is at peace with
Germany. Edward Goldbeck. who welded a
prolific Prussan pen prior to- April, 1917. is
back in the Sunday Trib writing on Religious
Liberty" -. Heigho! Colts in his himmel
and all's right mitt die welt"
But should Cemetery Be Used for
Such q Purposea
.[From the Peoria Journal.]
Plans are being completed for a ten
mis- court to be built on the lost west OF
the Presbyterian church, for the use Of
the young people of the church.
HOLD Inquest After Woman Is Found
Dead in Monroe City Hotel" headlines the
Quincy Wing Journal
Considerate of the coroner not to have held
it before, what what?
"AH, WE'VE HAD MANY YAPSES BUT
NEVER zap LIKE HIM!
Mac: What's all this here now zap" squab-
Bile we hear so much about between the Yank
and the Jap? (Olson calls it zap and 1 think
the Good Book says-"H jobbie takes your
coat, slip him the vest, or pants, or whatever
you are not usin'"? Or why can't they settle
it the way coupla gents or a coupla towns
would say, for instance, Rock Islands got a
zap and Peoria, we'll say, wants him. WE'LL
they get him; and we meekly bear our burden,
or loss, or whatever it turns out to be--you
know: pretend to like it. And then mebbe it
turns out you could dig up, say. forty yaps still
left in town. all as good as the one we lost
just can't get line this note writin'
rtuff over yap They's many zap I'd give
a five case note to get rid of. JUDY.
P. 81 can't dope out what would make
a good present for Little joe, but, man!
don't you sound the true domestic note! Cant
you see the old man. all tired out from fading
the gang all day, rocking Little Joe' to sleep,
humming the while, "Di De Dunn, Di De-, etc. !?
| j.
JUDY is Tor is she!) subtle person.
Ordinarily we garble a quotation for coIyum-
istic purposes without a Qualm, but as we re-
read Judys contribution we feel we should
murmur an apology to the author of Ken
lucky Belle.
NO; "A PROPHET WOULD NOT HAVE SAID
YOUTHFUL.
Dear Monumenter: Could Shakespeare have
had a prophetic glimpse Of this short-skirt era
when he wrote
"A sin prevailing much in youthful men
Who give their eyes the liberty Of gazing?
| -CALLIOPE.
THE word is not new but we never ex-
pected to find it in The Argus The authorities
(reads the story believe that the men are
the same who burgled the postofice at Hal
dane, Ill.,
Now. there's no excuse for 'burgled"
Save to serve as rhine for "gurgled".
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1921-05-16
The Diary of a Pale Blue Ass.

May 10-Awoke reluctantly after a few
hours OF fitful sleep with the devil whispering
in my ear to think Of the wickedest thing DOS
sible to do and then to 60 and do it. Had
Weakened at 1890 last night feeling million
needles jabbing through my tape-bound foot
Cursed the doctor fervently and fuently. for
which he-having full knowledge of the tor
ture he had inficted-probably will forgive me
Arose and walked the floor for 30 minutes.
Back to bed and up again in Is minutes.
Finally. in desperation, cut the tape from the
ankle and went back to bed. Wondered. as I
was railing asleep. why it is so many persons
add TO their woes here on earth by Worrying
about what may happen to them hereafter'
The devil, concluded, is buster here than he
is in Hades. Writing the colyum bore TODAY.
May 11-Up early and discovered the in
step of the afflicted foot was a mass OF bis
tiers. Caused. presumably by the too ardent
application OF hot towels in the hands of The
Lady Who Hates to Darn my Socks. More
than ever convinced that the devil has singled
me out for special attention. Perhaps he's
afraid I'll escape him in the end. Writing to-
day worse bore than yesterday.
May lSOverslept. Late to work. Day
started wrong and ended the same way. Norm
buttons were concerned. Positive that Auld
Cutie is working on my contribs, making them
guilty Of cOntributory negligence as further
punishment for me. But there is moro than
one way to I'LL a colyum. Billy Sunday fills
tabernacle by bawling out the devil. col
yum can be filled, partially at least, by the
same tactics
May 13-Up early. Feeling better after a
night devoted exclusively to knitting up .the
ravell'd sleeve of care" Ankle appears to he
getting better In spite of the devil. Morning
mail again a contributory desert you dis
courage contributors by being over-criticaI."
declares T. L w. H. t. D. m S. Perhaps she
is right They usually are, find Yet. when
l recall what B. L. T. did to me before
achieved the top Of the Line! ;. Must nm
learn all he taught 1me? He never printed
anything. he said, that did not first please him
and by so doing contrived to please an nm
certain number Of others" But B. L. T. was-
B. L T.; while l? am only P. B. A. who
can bray and wiggle his ears, but little else
=. All. we'll tomorrow is payday
ROOSTER Pecks Out Girls Eye: Suea n,
so ,00O."-Ths Chitrib.
This rooster is . bit cocky, donr Won
think?
COMRADE TROTZKY. We see BY the pvpers
10 surrounded By specialists who are treatine
him for cancer.
THE cancer Of bolshevism, Of course
R. e MIG.
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1921-05-16
m n Assue q Massh ~. 1o9o-
~The AmO hsasseessh VIII - seaeeeeeo - e
anHaDenun1 oDWuonQW, oahtAsod ~ Dnss.eo
- - - ro1v - sDte NJ heaeet eo0vtesas0e n
1as l11sssss e ~ ssaDes welfare"
Charlie Chaplin's pants burned up. but Wen
let lie had an asbestos pocketbook.

| Many persons are beginning to consider the
keg greater invention than wireless.
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1921-05-16

/ whats become Of the old-fashioned mother
who made 5-gallon crock OF cookies every
Saturday?
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1921-05-16
Argus Information Bureau

By
.tsL =. .sss VII
o
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1921-05-16

THE Chitribune, at least, Is at peace with
Germany Edward Goldbeck, who welded a
prolific Prussian pen prior to April, 1917. is
back in the Sunday Trib writing on Religious
Liberty. -. Heigho! Colts in his himmel
and alls right mitt die welt"
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1921-05-16

ROOSTER Pecks Out Girls Eye; Sues 70
so ,O0O"-Tho Chitrib
This rooster is q bit cocky. don't 70
think?