The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1921-11-05

A DAVENPORT man was bitten on the heat
by a squirrel Now he's showing a peevist
spirit because his friends josh him about it
They are springing the old squirrel-nut gag
OF course. We don't blame him for being
peeved. Probably he doesn't mind being kid
ded but he diSlikes to listen to old stuff
FROM Des Moines E W L. sends US clip
ping from Capper's Weekly of an alleged par
Ody on America. Thus:
| My auto, It's of thee.
/ Short cut to poverty.
! You hunk of tin!
When | first bought you
Your coat nice and blue,
The motor was fast and true.
Now you're all in,
/ MRS. ORA c. DAVIS.
| r. d. l, Dana, Ind.
When we printed X. Y. rs parody we were
aware that such a thing had been done before
hut we didn't think it had ever been better
done; and Mrs Davis lines only confirm that
opinion.
do YOU SUPPOSE THE WALRUS SAID,
"A NUTTIER THING COULD GRoWc'
Il DOUBT IT." SAID THE CAR
PENTER. 1T SELDOM
HAPPENS So"
Dear Mac: II you have ever heard OF any
thing any ''nuttier' than this I'd really like TO
read it. l think it is the height OF "nutt-ism
But don't blame me, blame AloysiuS. He's re-
sponsible, not L on his head should fall the
blame for this wierd fantasy. And now amt
it wierd, though by the way, is that "wierd'
spelled right? Haven't time 10 look i: up,-I
mean | haven't dictionary. Amt il fright
to have such poetic aspirations and not have
a dictionary to plant your feet in and know
you're on solid ground. 1t is. l second the
motion. Mac, | been up till past the midnight
oil hickered Outfor over two weeks now and
I've got an awful headache and feel kinda sick
tiny Stunlmick, and I've swore I'll never dance
or play cards again-iOst box OF Wooiworths
gumdrops last night betting on 5o0-Sut hon
est l don't know whether its that. or whether
it was the thoughts Of them last few lines
which l writ this p m which is the cause OF
my feelings. Anyway l hope it don't have
ill effect on you before the play tomorrow
night that would be/too bad I'm going to
try TO come an III wear red in my
mpaCour and carry = pink fan by INV hand
bag so you'll know me. The red rose l expect
To throw at your feet at the thrilling climax
which OF course | know thereli surely be one
so be prepared. | would OF sent this in sooner
out didn't nave 1t finished as | was busy having
good time like betting gumdropS, and kick
ink the light fantastic and dates, and etc.
Gao
Oh yes. I realize it is past Halloween and
this poem? may be out of season. but then it's
got seasoning all, all its own. Quick an
aspirin tab.
Aloysius. fam would have you know
How / expect my last farewell to take:
II! mount my Pegasus, his wings of snow
should surely bear me to the pearly gate
And if for any reason I'm detained
I'll sing, the while st. Peter metes nv fate
III 4erNlU, WARNING accents UnreStralned-
know III charm him into sweet submission
And thusly gain to heav'n my dear admission
And now l guess I'll strum my Tyre in praise
of pulque fire;
l don't know what makes nm its rot bu, 7
know I'm not liar
When tell Of the spree that Wally Nuttee /
Celebrated one Halloween;
lie fed away ere break OF day and never ae,;,
Well; this one night he filled up tight I
On this pulque, fiery stew
And started to run and fe. this "bnn,
But he crazier, drunken grew
Then the witches appeared and danced in a
Fantastic Dervish whirl
While their hollow shrieks and h-o..,
creaks
Would have made your spine just curl.
Son bieary bats and crawling gnats
Put on Chinese dance
While the cats shrilI yowI and tho d.,
howl e' herce
R tHa out from the tombs the ha'nts.
ne mice beat drum till their noses were
numb ' were
The kittens spun their tails
Inc ne white owls wept while the lizards crept
er the carpet OF ten penny nails. P>
A Missouri mule all fat and white
ohohe out IN the dark luminous light.
tie canced on his heels while bonL Ill,
squeals h-Hhe
Kept tune to his tambourine.
The ha'nts they groaned the animals -,--,
ne moon laughed down: "Ouf, Oui,1 o'
ana the birds got drunk on the musica, ,,
1nu ieil from the Christmas tree
= nen he witches started to mako n h,
u TINS variegated animal stew
a prom thsy stirred to a slimy curd II
11ihu dropped therein a pan OF drunk bi-5
heE aCded slice OF peppered mice ,
ne wings of a bat. the legs of a enst
ne crawling lizards dark brown gi11.,d
=, oash OF the moons strong breath;
ney ripped the pants from off the ba.,,. $
% put the foam this stew. Z
men the white mule's ~io,- .
trick A just nnlshed the
%, pE THIS dreamy homemade brow 2
, neI Iney made grab for WaIlv MITE
'ut ne saw them coming and made Sat t
- ne wouldn't be part of this awfnI 49, g
t I ne started and ran and ran ana '
IKE, IKE, WILD and wicked crazy man i
auo thats the last word that eva- b
u nutty. Wally Nuttee was hearu h
CACTUS. i
,ocha.k %. we suspect, has bee.l recalling o
"coetn' You remember the witches, can1drnre L
WE, WELL well, nothing more TO- write sx,.c,
81 wen go right ahead and write If / T
R E NC .,