The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1921-08-19
ST. PETER AT THE GATE
Her Eossing Wouldn't Get Her to
Heaven

Her 6ossing Wouldn't Get Her to.
Heaven
st. Peter stood guard at the golden gate.
With a solemn n1ien and an air seuate,
When UP to the top of the golden STAIR
man and q woman ascending there
Applies for admission. They came and
Before St. peter. so great and good,
In hopes the City OF Peace to win
And asked st. Peter to let them in.
The woman was tall and lank, and thin,
With scraggy beard upon her chin.
The man was short and thick and stout;
His stomach was built so it rounded out;
His face was pleasant, and all the while
He wore a kindly and genial smile.
The cfloirs in the distance the echoes
And the man kept still while the woman
spoke.
20 thou who guardeth the gate!' said
We two come hither beseeching thee
To let, us enter the heavenly land;
And play our harps with the angel band.
OF me, st. Peter, there is no doubt;
There's nothing from Heaven to bar me
I'VE been to meeting three times a week,
And almost always I'd rise to speak
i've told the sinners about the day
When they'd repent of their evil way;
I've told my neighbors-Pve told them
Bout Adam and Eve and their primal fall
i've I've shown sr them what they'd have to do
If they'd pass in with the chosen few
I've marked their path of duty clear
Laid out the plan for their whole career.
rive talked and talked to EN- loud and
For my lungs are good and my voice is
So, good St; Peter, you win clearly see
The Gate of Heaven is open to me,
But my old man., regret to say,
He smokes and he swears. and grave
And / don't know whether hen pass or
not
He never would pray with an earnest
Or go to revival, or join in hymn,
So / had to leave him in sorrow there
He ate what the pantry CHANGED to afford,
While in my purity sang to the Lord;
And if cucumbers were all he got
It's a chance If ne merited them or not
But. st. Peter! ! love him so;
To the. pleasures of Heaven. please let
I'VE done enough saint I've been
Won't that atone? Can't you let him in?
BY my grim gospel ! know tbs SO
But amt there some way you can see
That he may enter who's dear to me?
It's narrow gospel by which I pray
But the chosen expert to find some way
OF coaxing, or fooling, or bribing you
So that their relations can amble through
And, say, st. Peter it seems to me
This gate isn't kept as it, ought to be.
You ought to stand right by the opening
And never sit down in that easy chair.
And say, st. Peter. my sight is dimmed,
But don't like the way your whiskers
They're cut too wide and outward toss;
They'd look better narrow cut straight
Well, We must be going our crown to win
So, open st. Peter, and Wen pass in. Z
st. Peter sat uiet and stroked his staff.
But in spite Of his Office he had to laugh;
Then said. with a fiery CLEAN in his eye
who's tending this gaJeway--you or ~
And then he rose in his statuei tall
And pressed a button upon the WALL
Escort the lady around to He'll
Stood sadly, gloomily there alone,
A lifelong settled idea he had
Theat his wife was good and he was bad.
He thought If the woman went down be-
That certainly he would have TO go
There wasn't ghost of a chance for him
There. wasn't ghost of chance for
Slowly he turned, by habit bent,
To follow wherever the woman went,
st. Peter standing on duty there,
Observed that the top OF his head was
He called the gentleman back and said
.r, how long have you been wed
And then he thoroughly added,
St Peter was SILENT with head bent down
He raised his hand and scratched his
crown
soWiy se half to himself sai he spaRe = 'aAs
Thirty years with that woman there?
No wonder the man hasn't any hair!
e SMOKED AND he should thnk
he would!
Thirty years with that tongue so sharp!
jeweied harp arp with wi golden string!
Good sir, pass in where the angels sing.
Gabriel, give him seat alone
One with a cushion-up near the throne!
Call up some angels to play their best;
Let him enjoy the music and rest!
He's had about all the hen he needs
1t isn't just hardly the thing to do
To roast him on earth and in future toe"
They gave him a harp with golden strings,
A glittering robe and pair Of wings;
And he said. as he entered the realm of
.wen. this beats cucumbers. anyway
That .ths last shall be first and the first
- a - Selected.
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