Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1921-02-14

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\ , -
Clearly Absurd Freedman
learning English said TO his tutor:
English Is q queer language. What
does. this sentence mean: Should
afT. Noble, who sits for this const-
tuency, consent to stand again and
run. he will in all probability have
.walkover ?"-The Watchman-Ex.
SIMMER (New York;
Observation-Disclosures is a letter It
would hardly do for US to publish, :
said the patent medicine Quaek. "A
man writes: II have just taken the
first. bottle of your medicine -
..:.rWell7" said his partner.
aThsre IS breaks OFF short, and is
signed IN mother handwriting. Per
executor. Western Christian Aa-
voeate (Ciniunati)
. .
-Essy>-A farmer was showing a
friend over TIE farm "How many
sheep do you think are in that floea Z"
he asked.
The visitor considered a minute
and then replied, about 800"
The farmer was astonshed. "Ahso-
lutely correct" ne declared. Glow
did you do it,"
ssqASEsall, just council the legs and
divided by four" the guest explained
Pittsburgh Chrnnicl Telegraph.
Helpins Him 1n--An examination
story from the London Morning Post:
They wanted him badly at>fhe college,
ir0t unfortunately thsre was an en-
trance examination from which noe
even the most pronising Of Rugby
thrte-guarters could eiaim complete
exemption. It was only an. oral
qdesti6ndne- and yet one had to set
so per cent TO pass. The matter wac,
left in the hands Of a sporting young
don, and his protegr got through:
Later on it appeared that only two
questions had been asked. "The first"
said the examiner, Hwas the date Of
Trafalgar; be got that wrong Thsn
aeked him what the chemical form
MA for eufiuric acid sSs HE said,
Il don't slsoy iessg tSs;doa4' Wen,
that was light, for It was obvsons
thai be. didn't know. SO / passed him
Win. 500 ps1, cant I. Fhs Christian
Register {Bosseen,l i !! ss;gg ii: :ii:':
,ssisae 4 lanat ede as
t,nt shs vas :yiisdeed BY, Young saay
WHO Wishea % SEQ . large mGp of
FRANCE. Hhs .was writing 8 paper 90
the tsttle fields Of France fer a, cul-
ture eluh, and she Just couldn't find
Flanders Field and No Mans Land on
any Of the maps in her book-Bostcn
Herald
saleananship SLOW DO yon man
age to sell SC. many fireless' cook
ers?"
tTt,s due IS my method of ap-
preach" said the emart salesman. 4
begin my little talk By saying. @Ma-
dam, hsre called to enable yoo to
spend every Efternoon at the, NOV
les r-Rinirghan> Age-HersH.
Forced Complinent--"I must say
those biscuits Irc fine" ss~laizred
the young husband.
%'How could you say those were
fine hiscults7" inquired bis mother,
when they were alone,
.aI' didn't say they were fine, mother.
I merely said must say so."-Bos-
ton. Trssript.
Ss
Good Links-The man IN the sNin-
bow stockings was trying to play
golf. The dihaculty was, Of course
to Et the ground. He hit thai every
time. The turf flew in sill directions
SWISH s~osh, Plop! More cNeava'
tiors. Something was wrong some
where. It couldn't be his stockings
It must be the links. BE turnei help.
lessiy TO his opponent.
what do you think of these hnks?
he exclaimed.
.'What do I think Of EN-? easped
his opponent, Eiping bit of soil from
his lips. "Pouf. Best I ever tasted
The Argonaut (San Francisco.)
49, paa5 SnfaCsc Cfa csifiaH Cnlrm ID