davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The New York herald., 1921-09-25
Want ZeIfgouski Ousted.


any settlement of the Wilma row that
the league Immediately remove Gen.
zeligouski. the Polish irregular leader
who occupied wilma. Prof. Simon AS
kenazy. Polish delegate told the AS
sembly. however. that Zeligousli would
get out IL plebiscite showed 1t to be
the will of the people, but not before.
The Polish delegates further said that
the league Council could not impose
any scheme OF settlement on Poland
against her will, and that the proposed
plan OF the council was a direct at
tack on Poland's sovereignty. Poland
demanded that wilma be given an op-
portunity to express its own opinion
on the question which is troubling the
diplomats of all Europe
The Polish delegates declared that
only two and one-half per cent. of the
population of wilma was made up of
Lithuanians and denied that Lithuania
had any claim on Wilma They further
described Lithuania as a Polish prov
ince with small proportion of Lithu-
anians.
Considerable excitement followed the
speech of Leon Bourgeois of France in
which he said the attitude of the Assem-
bly, must be one of strict impartiality
between the parties to the dispute.
Oppose Reducing Land Forces.
DIplomatists attending the Assembly
showed tremendous interest in the
agenda OF the Washington conference
on limitation of ornaments. Some ex-
pressed great surprise that land arma-
ments were included. as this is chiefly
Continental question, which the
leagues commission, of which Rene Vi
viani Is the head. had assumed WAS to
be left out of the Washington discus
sion. Publication of the agenda further
sharpened the division in the Assembly
whether it could go ahead with the pro-
posed questionnaire intended to extract
vital military secrets from league MEM
bers or wait for the results OF the
Washington conference.
Members of the Armaments Commits
sion do not expect anything tangible tc
come from the land armament discus
sion in Washington. one member assert
ing that every one of the military ma
tions would refuse to make any binding
engagements in the present condition OF
Europe.
In a talk with newspaper correspond
ents Take Jonescu of Rumania said:
Disarmament over here depends
on our neighbors. and how can any one
expect Rumania to disarm with Soviet
Russia as n neighbour
This might be said to sum up the
| general attitude Of every nation on thu
European Continent.
The New York herald., 1921-09-25

Spe9ia, Cable TO THE NEW voRK rEnALD.
Copyright, 1891, by THE New YonK HERALD.
The New York herald., 1921-09-25

PARIS, Sept. 24--The Polish lega-
tion declares IL Is authorized TO deny
categorically the reports that an
Vashon Island news-record. [volume] (Vashon, Wash.) 1919-1954, 1921-12-30
THE cow AND THE PIG AND
THE HEN

The farmer smiled as he passed
them by,
The COW and the pig and the
hen:
For the price Of wheat had gone
sky-high,
And the COW and the pig and
the hen
They ate up grain he could sell
at the mill,
They needed his care when nights
were chill.
lie swore of them all he'd had
his fill
The COW and the pig and the
hen.
These barnyard cattle had had
their day,
The cow and the pig and the
hen.
He could get thirty bones for a
ton OF hay
No need for the cow or the
hen.
He never would milk another
cow,
He hated the sight Of a grunting
sow,
And raising chickens was work
for the frau,
Goodbye to the COW and the
hen.
They gave no heed to his jccr or
frown,
The COW and the pig and the
hen.
Whatever goes up, said they,
comes down,
The wise old cow and the hen.
The hen laid eggs the winter
through,
The cow gave milk and the piggy
grew,
But hay dropped down from
thirty to two
Oh, the COW, the pig and the
hen!
Now he sits and sighs, as he
counts his cost
For the COW and the pig and
the hen.
Me almost cries for the milk he S
lost,
The COW and the pig and the
hen.
He'd tend them gladly in mud
and rain,
And lessen his acres of hay and
grain,
If he could only buy them back
again,
The COW and the pig and the
hen.
"A. H. Uphm.
Vashon Island news-record. [volume] (Vashon, Wash.) 1919-1954, 1921-12-30

To Colonel Arthur Woods, former
Police Commissioner of New York City
and at the close Of the war Assistant
to the Secretary of War, charged with
helping to re-cstablish service men in
civil life, has been assigned the complex
administrative task of coordnatng the
efforts and interchanging the ideas OF
the Mayors Emergency Committees
recommended throughout the country
by the Presidents Conference on Un-
employment.
President Harding described as fol-
lows the bureau of which Herbert
Hoover, Secretary OF Commerce and
Chairman of the Unemployment Con-
ference, named Colonel Woods head:
in order that there may be unity of
action by all the forces which may be
brought to bear, whether governmental
or private, the unemployment confer
ence is establishing an agency in WASH
ington through which appropriate CO.
ordination can be promoted, and
through which reports on progress and
suggestions may be given general cir
culation and cooperation. | trust this
agency will be supported in this en-
deavor."
Thirty-onc Mayors Committees were
formed within four days after the
Presidents appeal.
Vashon Island news-record. [volume] (Vashon, Wash.) 1919-1954, 1921-12-30
Safety First

Colonel Harvey, our new am
baSsador to England, is not only
clever in the use of his pen but
also in telling stories. At d
Safety First meeting he told of a
colored chauffeur, of whom he
knew, who certainly believed in
1t thoroughly. con dark nights"
said the Colonel, ''that darkcy
chauffeur would always turn to
his passengers and say. Excuse
me, sab, would 70 mind holding
out 70 hand? Use -winc to turn
de mex corner. -
Vashon Island news-record. [volume] (Vashon, Wash.) 1919-1954, 1921-12-30
"Such a Suspenz"

Walker Whiteside says two
Jews We're walking down Mich
igan Ayeme in Chicago one day
when suddenly Aaron stopped
and hastily started to search his
pockets. Finally he said to his
friend. Cohen, I've lost my peck
etbook." Half you looked by
your pockets, Aaron?" said his
friend. Sure, all but der left
hand hip pocket. ." "Vell," said
Cohen, "vy don't you look in
dat?" Because, Cohen, if it
aint dere. III drop dead"
Vashon Island news-record. [volume] (Vashon, Wash.) 1919-1954, 1921-12-30
Flivver

Lew Mccall says that motorists
who come through Columbus en-
route for Kansas City have about
the following conversation when
they stop at the filling station
here:
If it's a Cadillac, the driver
says: Glow far is it to Kansas
City," cone hundred and forty
miles," is the reply, Gimme
20 gallons Of gas and gallon of
oil says the driver. Then comes a
Buick and the chauffeur says I:
How far is it to Kansas CityY'
cone hundred and forty miles, y
Gimme ten gallons of gas and
a half-gallon of oil, " and he
drives on. Along comes a hivver
and the driver mcranks himself,
gets out and stretches, and asks /:
How far is it to Kansas City,"
ooh, about one hundred and forty
miles" els that allY Gimme two
quarts of water and a bottle of
g in l, and hold this son-of- a-gun
until get in. columbus (Mo.)
Advocate.
Vashon Island news-record. [volume] (Vashon, Wash.) 1919-1954, 1921-12-30
A Million

A little boy came home from
school crying, his father asked
why he was crying, the boy said
| got whippen at school today,
and it's all your fault. You said
last night when | asked you how
much million was, that it was
a h of a lot" and that amt the
answer at all.
Vashon Island news-record. [volume] (Vashon, Wash.) 1919-1954, 1921-12-30
Exactly!

Rastus, what's all dis heah
diplomacy stuff dat uh heah s
'bout?' "Don't yuh know-well,
it am pow full hahrd t. explain,
but it am dis way member wen
all was a bell hop in he hotel Z?
Well, one night all bust into a
room without knockin'. Lawd,
but all was par'lized cause dar
am a lady sittin' in a tub washin'.
Niggah, all backs out o. dat room
sayin', 'scuse me suh-h! scuse me,
sub! OATS diplomacy"
Vashon Island news-record. [volume] (Vashon, Wash.) 1919-1954, 1921-12-30
Heaven

Mama" said little Jane, edo
men ever get to heavcn?"
why, of course, my dear.
What makes you ask?"
Because ] never see any pic
lures Of angels with whiSkers. +"
We'll" said mother thought
fully, "somc men do go to heaven,
but they only get there by a
close shave"
Vashon Island news-record. [volume] (Vashon, Wash.) 1919-1954, 1921-12-30
SENSE AND NONSENSE
IS By the Best of Men"
Sunday Fishing

Minister My dear boy, what
would your father say about your
fishing on Sunday2"
Young Isaac Walton" Well,
the last time e said Where the
ellis your fish "
Vashon Island news-record. [volume] (Vashon, Wash.) 1919-1954, 1921-12-30
Yes, Indeed

"The more a man has the more
he wants." said the fat man.
"You wait until you have
triplets in the house and you I'll
change your mind" replied the
thin man.
Vashon Island news-record. [volume] (Vashon, Wash.) 1919-1954, 1921-12-30

After the clock struck II 80
the girls mother called down and
asked, doesn't that young man
know how to say goodnight 2"
docs he" she replied. "Well
I'll say he does
Vashon Island news-record. [volume] (Vashon, Wash.) 1919-1954, 1921-12-30

There was candidate who was
so thin
He wouldn't 20 out alone
For fear some great, big hungry
dog
Might take him for a bone.
One day when he was walking
And he got out of breath
He fell through hole in the SCAT
of his pants
And choked himself 10 daith.
Vashon Island news-record. [volume] (Vashon, Wash.) 1919-1954, 1921-12-30
H

And now, johnny" said the
teacher, "can you tell me what
is raised in Mexico?"
Jaw, go on, replied the bright
boy, 81 know what you want me
to say, but ma told me | Shouldn t
use bad words. -
Vashon Island news-record. [volume] (Vashon, Wash.) 1919-1954, 1921-12-30
Good Taste

When kissing he often misplaced
them
On shoulders or neck he would
waste them
Until Betty sighed,
And hungrily cried,
''Please put 'em, dear, where |
can taste them.
Vashon Island news-record. [volume] (Vashon, Wash.) 1919-1954, 1921-12-30
Nutty Nonsense

Customer--"Let me see some
cheap skates.
Salcsmm--"JuSt "A minute. III
call the boss.
Vashon Island news-record. [volume] (Vashon, Wash.) 1919-1954, 1921-12-30
Some Doctor

One Young Lady-"My doctor
is certainly "A Lady Killer, y
Other Lady" Mine makes no
as to sex.
Vashon Island news-record. [volume] (Vashon, Wash.) 1919-1954, 1921-12-30

""There was doctor by the name
of Peck,
Who fell in the well and broke
his neck.
The folks all said the fault was
his own
Should have tended to sick and
left the well alone"
Vashon Island news-record. [volume] (Vashon, Wash.) 1919-1954, 1921-12-30

Modest Evc-"Why don't you
wear calico any morcY"
Flo--"Oh, ] just hate TO see
myself in print. "
Vashon Island news-record. [volume] (Vashon, Wash.) 1919-1954, 1921-12-30

Getting married is like eating
mushrooms you never know
whether you have picked the
wrong kind until it's too late.
Vashon Island news-record. [volume] (Vashon, Wash.) 1919-1954, 1921-12-30

Lcvi-"Oi, yoi, Able, de paper
says that nitrates are higher"
Abie-"Vell, vot do We care?
We never telegrafs cnyvere. -
Vashon Island news-record. [volume] (Vashon, Wash.) 1919-1954, 1921-12-30

The English language is called
the "Mother Tongue" because
father seldom gets a chance to
use it.
Vashon Island news-record. [volume] (Vashon, Wash.) 1919-1954, 1921-12-30

Hc-"What kind of face pow
der do you uscP"
Shc-"Why do you askY'
Hc-"It's the best | ever tast.
ed. "
Vashon Island news-record. [volume] (Vashon, Wash.) 1919-1954, 1921-12-30

Stranger-"If your rooms are
all taken may be you can tell me
where | could get an moccupied
bed for tonight
Clerk-"You might try the
furniture stores. Judge.
Vashon Island news-record. [volume] (Vashon, Wash.) 1919-1954, 1921-12-30

call the boss
Modest Evc-"Why don't you
wear calico any moreY"
FIo-"0h, ! just hate to see
myself in print"
Hc-"What kind of face pow
der do you usc2"
Shc-"Why do you askY'
IIe-"It's the best | ever tast-
ed. "
"My goodness what is that
crowd of men doing around the
toilet goods countcr?" inquired
the curious shopper. con-" sniff
fed the ribbon counter girl, "that
catty thing over there is demon
strating a new face powder that
can be kissed off. v
The discharged soldier hasten
ed gladly home to see his wife.
He found her polishing the kitch-
en- stove, and slipped up quietly
and put his arms around her.
"Two quarts of milk and a pint
of cream" she said without look
ing up.
"lIey, papa, there $ fly in my
soup" "Dat's all right, lkey,
eat the soup until you come to
the fly then tell the waiter and
he'll Gift you amder plate.
The blue bird may bring happi-
ness, but the stork has it on him
in one way-his visit brings
100000 income tax exemption.
The Eskimo sleeps in his little
bear skin
And keeps very warm, | am
told,
Last night | slept in my little bare
skin
And caught a deuce of a cold.
Doctor: ''You cough with much
greater ease this morning."
Patient: 81 ought TO. | have
been practic;ng all night. "
Mamma, said the six-year
old, "you hire a woman to do
your washing, don't your
Yes, my boy"
"Then why can't | hire some
little boy to take my baths for
me?"
Dinah was no longer young and,
though not by choice, she was
unmarried. Called to the tele-
phone one day she heard a mans
voice:
"Hello! Dis you, Dinah9''
"Yessah."
"Well, Dinah, / called you up
to AK you will you marry me.
"Yessah Yessah !" answered
Dmah. Who's dis talkin',
pleased"
Stranger-"If your rooms are
all taken may be you can tell me
where | could get an moccupied
bed for tonipht -
Vashon Island news-record. [volume] (Vashon, Wash.) 1919-1954, 1921-12-30

"My goodness! what is that
crowd of men doing around the
toilet goods countcr?" inquired
the curious shopper. ooh, F." sniff
fed the ribbon counter girl, "that
catty thing over there is demon
strating a new face powder that
can't be kissed off. f"
Vashon Island news-record. [volume] (Vashon, Wash.) 1919-1954, 1921-12-30

The discharged soldier hasten
ed gladly home to see his wife.
He found her polishing the kitch-
en- stove, and slipped up quietly
and put his arms around her.
"Two quarts of milk and a pint
of cream" she said without look
ing I'D.
Vashon Island news-record. [volume] (Vashon, Wash.) 1919-1954, 1921-12-30

"IIey, papa, there $ fly in my
soup" "Dat's all right, key,
eat the soup until you come to
the fly then tell the waiter and
he'll Gift you amder plate
The daily times., 1921-07-26
ENGINEER KNOCKED
FROM HIS ENGINE
Fireman Looked up to Speak to
Engineer and Found That He
Had Disappeared.

Portsmouth, Va, July 26.-Glanc-
ing up from the fiery mouth, of his
engine on the Seaboard Air Line No.
16 about 8 miles east of Suffolk to
address remark to his engineer the
fireman Henry Mason discovered that
the locomotive was running without
a pilot. A hasty search convinced him
the engineer, r. H. Buckner of this
city, was not on the locomotive or
tender and the train carrying pas
sengers literally running away.
The train was stopped and the
crew went back along the track about
a quarter of mile where they found
the body Of Buckner.
His body slightly mutilated was
lying alongside the track. Buckner
the theory is was knocked from the
tender by . low bridge.
The daily times., 1921-07-26
LACK Of FINANCES
DELAYS HOSPITALS
The Unsuitable Location of
Many Hospitals Made Many
of Them Useless.

Washington, July 26.-Delay in
extending disqualification for veter-
ans was attributed by Surgeon Gen
eral Hugh S. Cumming of the public
health department to lack of ade-
quate appropriations during 1920. He
told a Senate investigating commit
tee that owing to unsuitable locations
many hospitals placed at his disposal
could not be used.
NO defense can be made of SEN
ators and representatives putting up
such law for political purposes re-
quiring selection as sites for hospi-
tails of places totally unfit, exclainn-
ed Senator Walsh, Democrat of Mass
achusetts.
. While the public health service
was searching the country for avail
able hospital beds the war depart
ment was "scrapping" buildings
which could have been used it was
declared.
The daily times., 1921-07-26
WARNING AGAINST
FAKE TAX EXPERTS"

Washington, July 25.-Warning
against fake income tax experts
was issued by Internal Revenue Com
missioner Blair. With revised tax leg
islation in immediate prospect these
experts Mr.. Blair said, if they fol-
low past practices, are preparing to
offer advice regarding the prepara-
tion of the new income tax returns.
s'The evil resulting from the op-
Grafton of this class of practitioners
must and will be stamped OUT the
Commissioners said. Persons who
knowingly offer advice or suggest
ions by which the income tax law
may be evaded, and which eventual
ly lead the taxpayer into difficulties
with the Government, will be dealt
with in accordance with the extreme
penalties provided by law
Within the last thirty days, he con-
tinued, between forty and fifty at
torneys and agents for taxpayers
have been disbarred from practice
before the Treasury.
The daily times., 1921-07-26
MARKETS
COTTON

New York, July 26.-Cotton fu-
lures opened steady. Oct. 1921, Dec.
1850, Jan. 1852, March 1898, May
1900.
New York, July 26.-Although the
opening of the cotton market was
somewhat better than expected the
weight of Southern selling orders
soon produced weaker undertone.
Oct was soon back to 1918, or
points under the previous close. The
opening was steady at decline OF 2
to 10 points, but recovered only to
react under southern and warehouse
offerings.
The cotton market at noon closed
as follows: Jan. 1858, Mar. 1900,
Oct. 1927, Dec. 1858.
The market closed at 8 p. m. as
follows: Jan. 1897, March 1910,
May 1875, Oct. 1850, Dee. 1888.
Spot cotton Wilson market 10 Ia.
The daily times., 1921-07-26
RUSSIAN SOWETS
HAVE MILLIONS IN
AMERICAN BANKS
MUST NOT BE MoLEsTED
Ihe Money Was Deposited bv
Bakhmetiff Who Wa. An.
pointed Russian Ambas.ador
to the United States Before
the Soviet Government Wa.
In Supremacy in Russia.
MUST NOT BE MOLEsrED

New York, July 26.-The Russian n
ooVieI government has served notice
on four New York and two Washing
ton banks that it is the owner of
more than 179 millions deposited by
Boris Bakhmetiff, who was appointed
Russian Ambassador to United
states before the Soviet government
gained supremacy in Russia.
In making this announcement,
Charles Ereicht, attorney for the
Soviet Government, said the notice
was sent to banks to warn them,
that they would be held liable if they
paid funds to anyone except an ac-
credited representative of the gov
ernment.
The daily times., 1921-07-26
FIRE DAMAGED
MAURITANIA

southampton, July 26.-After g.
battle lasting more than IL hours
the fire on board the Cunarder Mau-
retania which brokE out as she was
lying at her pier yesterday was fin
ally conquered, but not before the
interior of the mammoth liner pre-
sented a sorry spectacle.
The damage was not so extensive
as first feared, but it is serious
enough and considerable time will
be required to put the liner in con-
dition for service. Meanwhile pas
sengers booked for passage on the
ship will be transferred to other
ships. No estimate Of the financial
loss has been made.
The daily times., 1921-07-26
SUPREME COUNCIL
MEETS IN AUGUST
Session Will Be Brief, Dealing
Only With the Silesian
Question.

London, July 26.-The allied su-
|preme Council will meet in Paris
August 4th. 1t is understood the sess-
ion will be brief, dealing only with
the Silesian question. Marcus Cur
zon, secretary of state for foreign af-
fairs and A. J. Balfour, Lord Presi-
dent of the Council will represent
Great Britain as it is improbable
David Lloyd George will be able to
leave England at that time.
The British experts who will ex-
anime the Silesian question before
the council meeting already have left
for Paris. 1t is understood Ambas-
sador Harvey will atten1 the meet
ing in an advisory and unofficial ca
pacity.
The daily times., 1921-07-26
JUDGE DECLARES
GOVERNOR SMALL
CAN Be ARRESTED
APPEAR AT CONVENIENCE
Judge Smith Holds That There
10 No Such Things as Divine
Right of Kings and the King
Has No Counterpart in llli-
nois. Court Cannot With
hold Warrants.

Springfield, ILL.,, July >26.-Judge
of the arrest of Governor Small on a
charge of embezzlement today held
that warrants should be served on the
governor but he should be permitted
to make his appearance at his con-
venience in any reasonable length
of time.
The Judges findings are that there
is no such thing in Illinois as the
divine right of kings and the king
has no counterpart in Illinois.
That it is beyond the scope of the
governors power to call state troops
to shield him from arrest.
That Governor Small despite his
position as chief executive of the
State is subject to arrest and prose-
cution.
That the statutes of limitation
would expire through any prolonged
delay in serving warrants on the
governor.
That it is not the duty of the court
to Withhold warrants.
That Governor Small should be
permitted to voluntarily present
himself before the court.
Notification OF Governor Small by
telephone was the method of proceed
ure to be selected by Sheriff Nester.
Il may go over for an interview
with the Governor later" Sheriff Mes
ter said adding, mo attempt will be
made to embarrass Governor Small -
The daily times., 1921-07-26
LABORER'S BRAVE ACT
TO EXTINGUISH FIRE.

Mexico City, July 25.-Guarded by
an asbestos shield, a laborer in the
Amatlan oil fields yesterday approach
ed to within few yards of blazing
well, known as Number Five, and af-
ter spending fifteen minutes in the
terrific heat, with flaming oil falling
all around him, succeeded by frantiv
efforts in nearly closing a valve which
controls the oil supply.
The intense heat is said to have
damaged the piping system to such
an extent that it was Impossible to
close thesvalve completely, but when
the pipes become cooler, it is believed
the supply can be cut OF entirely by
a similar procedure, and that the FIRE,
which has been burning for more
than a week, with o loss estimated
at several million dollars, win be en-
tinzufshed
The daily times., 1921-07-26
JUDGE CONNORS HEARS
BANKRUPTCY ARGUMENTS

Raleigh, July 26.-Judge Henry G..
Connor yesterday heard arguments
and evidence in involuntary bank
ruptcy proceedings against II. e.
Brewer & Co., of Rocky Mount. The
liabilities of the company were
brought out as about $500, 600, but a
controversy developed as to the as
sets, which were placed at from $3.50,
600 to 100000.
Battle and Winslow, of Rocky Mt,
appeared for the company, and
Joseph B. Ramsey. also of Rocky
Mount, for the respondent. Hugh w.
Davis OF Norfolk, appeared for the
saveral petitioners.
The daily times., 1921-07-26
congress IS ASKED
TO HELP RAILROADS
President Would Have the War
Finance Corporation to Pur-
chase Securities.

Washington, July 26.-President
Harding in a special message to Con-
gress today asked it to extend auth
ority of the war finance corporation
to purchase security probably up to
500 million now in the hands of the
railway administration SO the pro-
ceeds may be used fer settlement Of
the railway debt.
This the President told Congress
would "open the way to an early adj
justment and relief of railway prob
lems."
Railway claims based on the 'iinef-
ficiency of labor" during the war the
President said were to waived for the
present to hasten settlement with the
surrender of any rights in courts.
Although the railways owed govern
ment large sums the government also
owed the railway large sums on vari-
GUS accounts.
mo added expense" said the Presi-
dent in explanation mo added invest
ment is required on the part of the
government. There is no added liza
bility, no added tax burden.
''It is merely granting OF authority
to enable a most useful and efficient
government agency to use available
funds to purchase security for which
Congress has authorized the issue
and turn into the channels OF finance
ready to float them.
'The agreement with the govern
ment rgovided that the roads should
be returned to their owners and the
(continued On Page 4.