Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-05-07
BITS OF BYPLAY
BY Luke AcLake.
Copyright, 1890. BY The Cincinnan Enquirer

BY Luke AcLake.
II Convrisht. 1870. BY The Cincinnau Enquirer.
Think 1t Over.
Add up your talk, If you are WISE
1t may surprise you. friend,
How many things you criticize'
And how few you M
The Wise Fool.
take too much" observed the Sage. $1,000,
But suppose the man is an
demanded the Fool.
The Horrors of Prohibition.
Any man who has attemp.ea she months
can tell you that Volsteadism has not OILY
dulled but has almost DESTROYED our 1ar-iamsa
American sense OF humor. Some one snouio
have warned Gilbert X. Chesterton' the WHY
En%glishman, of this state Of affairs. Chester
ton is a fat man, VINO YOU'D 30 ~ bis smerican
iecture tour was a dismal failure. After his
lecture in Omaha, the members OF tne rine
ron both a boob" and nut" They termed
his talk ."piffle' and IAN insult TO our inteiii-
gence." But Chesterton took In MS one tn snd
soliloauized thusly: When pronipltlon enters
common sense DEPARTS
wun!
NV. but that dog is mighty spry!
His head is chasing his hind rect.
The dog has fleas, and that is why
He's trying to make both ends meet.
Oh!
Borrower calls at my once" said Jones.
" "Wnsn. f ss Is e smasn; to make a touch" re-
n,;.S Zones, And, il I am out, I will be in.
But IL 1 am in, l will be out
Doggone Him!
fresh young PUP
I'll call him up,
Then call him down.
Here are ten rules that win insure, you pop
mind Your Own Business.
mind Your Own Business.
IH.-Mind Your Own Business.
IV.-Mind Your Own Business.
Whine Your Own Business.
V.-Mind Your Own Business.
VII-Mind Your Own Business.
VIII.-Mind Your Own Business.
1X.-Mind Your Own Business.
X.-Mind Your Own Business.
Fooey,
She holds her nose. does Mrs. Megg.
And she feels faint and sad.
For she just tried to beat an esg,
Because the egg was bad.
why, Georgei
(Houston, Texas, Post.)
Luke McLuke is optimistic because he no
longer encounters the ancient joke about the
grocer putting sand in the sugar. 1t would
not surprise US il we should hear our concrete
mixers complaining Of the sandpitters putting
some Of the modern sugar into the sand.
Our Joe Miller Contest.
Johnny Fay claims that the oldest joke is
the one about the teacher who gave a pupil a
I R1Soi town t to attend tend School sch :" every day. N ~
Now" said the teacher, "if there were IL!
sheep in a field, and A of the sheep jumped
the fence. how many would there be left In the
None" replied the scholar.
why, of course there would exclaimed the
mo, mann, there wouldn't" insisted the schol-
ar. You may know arithmetic, but you don't
know sheep"
Mercyi
We have often felt that way about it, too.
But what we started to tell you was that you
can see this sign on a store in Brazil. Ind:
Photographs.
The Damn Music Company.
Seeing and Hearing.
Speaking of limbs,
Did you ever see
In your old school books,
Gray's J.. +. c.?
I've heard some noise,
Where I have been;
But the worst OF all
Is Gunga pr. It. n M
Whatta we gonna do with Lolita Tawk. OF
Charleston. s. c.?
Things To Worry About.
The American Railway Express Company
broke 100000 eggs in shipment in 1890.
Luke McLuke Says
If some men were barred. from talking SHOP
they couldn't think of a thing to say.
Think it over and you'll discover that you
have as much Good Luck as Bad Luck, but you
give your attention to your Bad Luck. -
We do not know much. But we do know
that nagging has broken up more homes than
Booze and Inndelity combined.
You have a lot Of things to be thankful for
For instance. you might give thanks that par.
ents were not naming their boys Obadiah ano
Hezekiah when you were born.
What has become of the old-fashioned man
who buttoned his pants with a shingle nail.
You can't sometimes always tell. The fact
that a man can't spell is no sure sign that hi