The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1921-05-12

\4uCIS 3 uOt q Lu1uK 10 WTlt0 AOOuL.j
Can youw read retain doa1k
That am In a sorry plight?
This weather puts my thoughts to rout:
There's not a thing to write about!
WHETHER Americans possess any sense
Of honor" blatts Herr Bergdoll, "or whether
they think an agreement is only scrap of
paper remains to be seen" The most GLIB
tongued Prussian propagandists must blush
with chagrn because they overlooked putting
Bergdon on the kaiser's payroll during the
war;
ooh, Doc: Gimme Prescription, Quicki
My Telephone Is Sick"
From the Aledo (I1l) Times Record.1
Once every SO often give the telephone
thorough washing in alcohol. Take of
the mouthpiece and pour alcohol through
the little holes into saucer. Wash the
Do not wipe the parts dry. but let the
alcohol evaporate. Alcohol Is one of the
most effective antiseptics known.
A UNITED PRESS dispatch says an alarm
ing shortage in apples, pears, peaches, plums
and cherries is feared by the department of
justice, due to late freezes
You can tell the world" says Art, that
Palmer, even in his fearfullest days, never
feared anything like that"
PALMER, however, established the prece.
dent and since the reds have faded to a pale
pink the d. o. j has to find SOMETHING to
fear.
my Word! Watson, Here IS Problem
From The August
Leah just recentiy left for Chicago,
where she Is living with an aunt and
uncle, while her half-sister, daughter
OF Mrs. Dubov's second wife, is attending
school in Rock Island.
WE are happy to report receipt of a con-
tribution which will provide at least a tenn
porary home for Friend RIGS other orphaned
caption. He may catch it on the Riuochet, as
'twere.
LET'S PLAY ANOTHER GAME"
Sir: From your own staffoflife we learn
that boy was born to Mr.. and Mrs Joe Craps
-. VIII referendum be necessary to name
TINS chap Little joe? I've got grand idea
lot an appropriate christening gift, too
LOU ESs.
YOU have one guess as to Lou Ess' grand
idea Meanwhile, that Little Joe may not be
lonesome let US hope the kindly storl coma
day will bring Little Phoebe to keen him COM
pany. That would be (it seems to us) the
natural thing to do.
SECRETARY DENLY Calls Haitian Charges
They do sound bit rotten.
AN Iowa farmer tried to commit suicide nv
hanging himself from the top Of a 5O-foot wind.
mill HIS l4-year-old son cut the rope and
father fell to the ground, breaking his hack
Well, anyway. the boy prevented the hanging
Gosh! We Didn't Know This. And Today
Is the Last Day!
bushnell Corr, Galesburg Republican
Register.]
These fine spring like days ara inst
putting the pep into hundreds of our citi-
zens. and they are stirring the garden
soil to use the slang phrase Ito beat the
nano) and are getting ready to plant
Deans and sweet corn Your correspond
ent Is having phone calls asking as to
when it will be best to plant them.
would say to all, in order to be safe.
plant this tender garden stuff about the
9th to the 18th of May.
KILLED Her Finance Because He Was Too
Jealous: Suicides "-Dubuque Times-JournaI
Query: Is she a murderess or only a spend-
thrift? =" op0-A0
In Which the ~Inclemency Of the Elemeptss
Is Pooh.P0ohed to . Standstill
From the Annawan Ou.) Nevs.l
After picnic dinner in the woods On
the river bank they exchanged Mrs Will
son and baby for one of her unmarried
sisters 1.-TWO for one) and brought her
back 70 look after Georges welfare while
MIS- Wilson goes to Freeport to visit her
folks. While the excitement WAS at its
height, Lou Ferguson slipped awav from
the crowd and ran across the river tn
Rock Falls to say hello to Frank Ferru-
son, who happened to be spending thu
Gay there Taking it altogether they All
had great day Of it in spite of the in
clemency Of the elements
TAKE us by and large. while We h.va
,. l. mean disposition. we never offer Violence
% any OF our Office associates BUTT the
9anosl VINO appropriated last weeks Life from
our desk doesn't return it pronto he !. .oine
o discover that the Pale Blue Ass has a wicked
Kick. "ieAeo
THE ELUSIVE NYMPH.
Haste thee, nymph and bring with thee
Jest and youthful iollity,
Qulps and crankS and wanton wiles
Mods and becks and wreathed smiles-
Milton. when you penned that verse
Did you breathe a muttered curse
That your lot in life was sad?
Were you sorry. sir?-or glad.
Had you quaffed bitter cup.
Did you need some cheering M.
Is that why You voiced a plea
For some youthful jollity"!
Haps You had SOME cause to vean
Ere you went to your last sleep:
Haps the nymph-elusive. sly
Needed not your plaintive cry.
Troubled though you ware quite Oft
sun you had It pretty soft
One woe wasn't on your list
xOu were not colyumist
RE MIG.