davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-02-15

raents would play open and above board
There was to be a concerted move to disarm in
the interest OF universal peace.
The idea seemed too visionary for some. but
with all its vision. the world. outside the little
rroup OF Jealous Republican senators. was will
ing 10 give it an honest trial. 1t was the
United States. the one nation that has continu-
ally preached peace and good will that upset
the plan.
But even outside the League of Nations there
Is a movement on foot TO bring about a discus
sion of disarmament between the leading
powers. Here again the senate oligarchy has
irterferred. It rests with President-elect Hard
ing to show whether he is a big enough man
20 rise above the handicap of these senators and
take an advanced stand for civilization
The nations of the world cannot continue to
carry the awful burden of increased armament
and pay off their war debts at the same time.
bankruptcy stares them in the face and II
Europe goes bankrupt this nation will suffer
severely also. The one way out at the present
time is a concerted movement for armam
so that the billions now being spent for future
wars can be used for paying for the war that
Eas Just closed. More talk of disarmament
and not so much talk Of debt cancellation is
what the world wants to hear now. What
would be the use of cancelling the present war
debt If the nations should merely take the
money thus saved to prepare for another strug-
gle hat would pile up a debt even greater than
.he present one?
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-02-15
Remarkable Remarks

A Irishman can fight longer and
harder and be licked oftener anu
come up smiling more times thdn
any other human."-Bishop Michae
Gallagher, president of the frlehos
of Irish Freedom.
at is nonsense to regard men
more courageous thar women. Wo-
men have more endurance and u
ace than men."-Sir John Cockburn.
TT is essential that h prices OF
steel and iron should come down 10
a fair, Just and normal basis II we
are again to attain the prosperity Tor
which we hope."-John shelton VIII
liams. comptroller of currency.
Don't allow children to nave su-
gar, candy. ice cream or n sweets
unless under the most extraordinary
circumstances and in the smallest
amounts possible. DIR. John Lovett
Morse, Harvard University.
Can the opponents OF British
marriage law reform explain why
American home life is happier than
the English variety LADY Muir
Mackenzie. ,
"I have attended hundreds OF
psychic demonstrations, and 1 have
never seen one thing done by a me-
dunn. or supposedly by supernatural
forces. that l cannot do by plain
trickery."-Houdini.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-02-15
RIPPING RHYMES
BY Walt Mason.
NOT ON DUTY

1 called on Dentist Bacon, to
have my teeth half-soled: the way
said teeth were achin' caused ago
MICS untold, and /. by peace for
saken, had feet supremely cold. The
office was deserted. no scientist was
there; but patients. molar-hurted.
reared up TO groan and swear, be-
cause the dentist flirted with golf
and damsels fair. / sought his Of
flee daily throughout a weary week,
the while the toothache gayly play
ed tag beneath my cheek: 'Oh, woe
and willow walyi" / often used to
shrek. / hired the village tanner:
he, with the plumbers aid, with
crowbar and with spanner dug out
the teeth decayed. and in a blithe-
some name the modest bill l paid.
Those business men r silly who
close their office doors. to seek the
golf course billy, and play around
out doors: their customers grow
chilly. and chase to other stores. /
like to play an dgamble, the BUSH
ness hours between: l like to take a
ramble in my tin limousine; but
first / scratch and scramble to earn
the good long reen. When people
seek my dwelling to buy three yards
of rhyme they find me there a SELL
ing my merchandise sublime. my
honest bundle swelling by added
PUNK and dime.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-02-15

O. What is the inscription on the
p~oetofice in Washington. ID. c.?
A. This inscrirtion is messenger
of sympathy and Love-Servant of
Parted Friends-Consoler of the
Lonely Bond of the Scattered
Family-Enlarger of the Common
Life-Carrier of News and Knowl-
edge-Instrument of Trade and In
dustry-Promotor of Mutual Ac-
ouaintance-of Peace and Good Will
Among Men and Nations" This
is not punctuated and we have IN
serted a dash to indicate the end OF
each line.
@. There are three brothers in
our family. We all contribute
equally in supporting our widowed
mother. Can we claim any exemp-
ton in making out our income tax
returns Nv. X. Y.
A. Since you n two
contribute to your mothers support.
none is the chief support. and there
fore. none may claim a $4,000 ex-
emption as the head of a family.
The amount each of you contributes
to her support cannot be deducted.
0. What is a Yarborough?-C. c.
A. This is a term used in the va
rious forms of whist-auction, bridge,
etc., and is applied to a hand / m
which there is not a card higher
than a nine.
@. What is the feminine form of
the name David 81. b.
A. The name Vida" is the fem
mine equivalent of David" which
is derived from the Hebrew, mean
ing beloved"
q. Are IN employed as WIRE
less operators ?-M. S.
A. Women are employed as Wire
less operators. assigned to land duty,
but are not sent out on sea duty.
@. How long is a copyright goou
for?-P. s.
A.The Copyright Office says that
the duration of a copyright is 20
ears This period may be extended
for one more period of rs years,
@. How is the name of the Japa-
nese Ambassador pronounced?-C.
l.. A.
A. The japanese Embassy says
that Baron Shidebara's name is
pronounced Shee dee ha' ra-
@. What place is known as The
Land of Cakes?-E. e. D.
A.. This is a title applied to Scot
land, because of the baps. scenes
and oatmeal cakes which, with por-
ridge, form the principal food of
the country people. The epithet
was prevalent in the 18th century.
@. | notes frequently when bills
are being voted on. a Senator oil
Representative will say that he is
paired with another, and conse-
~auently cannot vote. The pair.
observe, is usually with a man OF
the opposite party. Will you ex-
rlain this procedurer-D. j. n.
A. 1t is the duty of a member OF
the Senate or House of Representa-
lives to attend as many of the ses,
siors of Congress as possible anC
vote on measure presented. Some
times. however, it is necessary fol
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-02-15

There are voices reminding US
that life Is sordid and hopeless.
There are those people who have a
passion for turning life wrong side
out and showing US how seamy 1t is.
I have seer something of the seamy
side of life. The courtroom, the
prison, the morgue. the hospital are
not unknown to me. Yet / wish to
utter on every proper occasion my
affirmation that life seems to me
good, and it's possibilities glorious.
I wonder If the school of writers
who find life so contemplate may
not manifest a reaction from that
SNUG dissatisfaction which was it.
self a reaction from a nearly hypo-
critica, self-depreciation once famii-
lar. There was a time when 1t was
fashionable for everyone to declare
himself the chief of sinners. Then
followed a very complacent feeling
that
There Is so much good in the worst
of us,
And so much bad in the best or us,
| That it hardly becomes any of us
To say very much about the rest OF
u.s."
Something needs to be said about
the rest of US, and all of US. We
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-02-15
THE GLORY OF LIFE
BY DR., w. f. BARTON

need to be reminded that we are not
as good as we ought to be.
And we are being thus reminoeo.
Current fiction is anything but COM
placent; it is well-nigh ghastly. ~
leaves you wondering whether II
Noah's food were to come again,
there could be found n people
worth inviting into the ark.
Emerson sometimes said a tlutn
So kindly, so penetrating. that It
carried its lesson straight 70 the
heart. Here Is one OF those ihumi-
mating sentences of his:
I'VE grant that human Ire ~
mean; but how do we know mat II
Is mean?"
There is mighty hope in the fact
that we know that the world n
our own hearts need to be better. =.
1t is that divine discomfort that
makes life noble in its possibilities.
II is the fact that we know that we
and the world are not what the
world and we should be that gives
us reason to hope. i.
If we find life mean, the tact p
we know that it Is mean may be-
come the basis of our hope thai IL
shall not continue to be so. Tina Is
what makes life glorious.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-02-15

Il member to be absent. and in this
event he makes an arrangement
with a member of the opposite
PARTY. by which the vote of neither
shall be taken. in this way striking
a balance. This is called pairing.
Q. When does the astronomical
day begin TX. w. l..
A. The astronomical day begins
at noon and the hours are number
ed from one to twenty-four.
@. What is the common name OF
the plant called Chionanthus vir-
ginica ?-F. r. I.
A. The common name for the
Chionanthus is the fringe tree,
while the Chionanthus virginia. Is
known as the snow Hover.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-02-15
Ho, Hum!

The Methodist Board of Temperance, Prohi-
bition and Public Morals threatens to demand
legislation that will prevent musical comedies,
vaudeville acts and movie films from using
Jokes about prohibition that are calculated to
hold the Volstead law up to ridicule. This per-
sistent propaganda against prohibition must be
stopped" say those on the Board. We have
noticed that any joke referring to prohibition
is today a sure-fire laugh wherever people go
to be entertained. If there were not something
radically wrong about the Volstead law, people
would frown on any attempt to bring a con-
stitutional provision into reproach instead CT
gladly applauding it as they do. After all, II
may be that Americans do not want prohibition.
And you can't expect people to respect a law
that has proven itself a painful joke.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-02-15
Trait

"I know Pm old. but I'm crazy
about YOU" stated Mr.. Montybags.
when l go I'll leave all my for
tune to you If you'll have me-
Have you any bad habits?' ask
ed Miss Goldielocks, thoughtfully.
only that 1 walk in my steep. II
you could call that a bad habit"
You lear old thing. OF course
I'll marry you. And we'll have our
honeymoon on the top floor of some
tall hotel, won't we?"-American
Legion Weekly.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-02-15
A Doubtful Compliment

He was an Englishman. and he
was pouring u his soul to an Am
erican girl.
You are divine" he told her.
"As graceful as a swan, as"
But she interrupted him: Say,
sonny. / want to know right now.
Was that swan swimmin' or
walkin ?"-Tit Bits.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-02-15
Saws

IUkC NICIuhC Ddyb
After a man has been married for a whlle ne
discovers that it only takes one to make a quar-
REL,
plexions as women do. Nature might give the
men better compilations to work on.
When a mans wife gets so that she doesn't
give a hang when he goes out or what time he
gets home, it is time he was staying nome and
paying a little attention to her.
Some men spend so much time wondering
where other people get all their money that they
never have any of their own.
Even when a man fails at everything else hs
can always become an Efficiency Expert ano
tell other men how things should be done.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-02-15
TO QUESTIONS

Any reader can get the answer to
any question by writing The Perth
Amboy Evening News Information
Bureau. Frederic ]. Haskin.. Dlrec-
tor, Washington. ID. c. This offer
applies strictly to Information. The
bureau cannot give advice on legal,
medical and financial troubles Ii
does not attempt to settle domestic
troubles, nor to undertake exhaus-
tive research on In subject Write
your question plainly and briefly.
Give full name and address and en-
close two cents in stamps for return
postage. All replies are sent direct
to the inquirer.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-02-15
JUST JOKING
No Chance to Learn

"There!" exclaimed s~ix-year-oid
Bernice. throwing down a book. i
Just ain t going to school another
day"
why" asked her mother. what
is the matter?"
Its no use wasting time repiieo
the little miss. II can't never learn
to spell. The teacher just keeps
changing the words every day.
Detroit News.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-02-15
A TEST FOR LEGISLATORS

1t will be hard for any honest legislator to
successfully explain a vote against the bill in
troduced by Senator Parry of Essex county,
which is intended to correct the Allen bill
passed last year providing for a valuation of
the properties Of the Public Service Railway
Company as a basis for a legitimate income for
the trolley company.
The Allen bill provided for the employment
Of a firm of expert engineers to fix the value OF
the Public Service property and whatever value
is arrived at by this firm Of engineers is to be
final. There is no appeal, no rehearing, no re-
dress. Some idea of the enormous powers
vested in this firm of engineers can be had from
tn fact that it is reported that some of the
members of the firm have been employed in
the past by the Public Service. Under the law
as it now stands the state will be compelled to
abide by any report that this firm of engineers
make. Should the report declare that the va
luation of the Public Service property is such
that only an increased fare will enable the
company to maintain the property then there
will be nothing to do but submit to the increase.
The Parry bill that has been introduced this
year makes it possible to appeal from the de-
c.sion of this Independent firm of engineers and
have a hearing on the matter. This is only fair
and just. No matter how infallible this firm
If engineers may be it ought not to have the
dnal say in such a vital matter as this.
No wonder the charge is being made that the
fight Of the Public Service interests against this
Parry bill is a fight for the ten cent fare and
stakes that are worth millions of dollars. This
measure is without a doubt one of the big pieces
of legislation before the state legislature this
year. Upon whether or not the bill is passed
rests largely the decision as to what control the
Public Service has over the legislature. The
Public Service will fight hard to have the Parry
bill defeated so that the decision of the firm of
engineers will be final. The state wants a fair
chance for a hearing on the matter. This the
Parry bill provides. The member of the legisla-
ture who votes against the Parry bill will have
some careful explaining to do at home before
he can regain the confidence of the people who
! elected him.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-02-15
Our Hoe Miller Contest

A Brooklyn reader claims that the oldest joke
is the one concerning the letter received by a
paint manufactures from a barber in a small
town in Wisconsin. The letter read as follows:
Dear Sir: Please send me some OF your
striped paint. l want Just enough for one bar
Der pole"
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-02-15
HUH

Reformers make no hit with me,
No matter what they say;
They speak of all Good Men as: We"
And all Bad Men as They
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-02-15
STAY ON Your Toes!

I'm writing this in sober mood,
You'll find you must. in any cline.
Accomplish some feat If you would
Leave footprints on the sands of time.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-02-15
The Newest UnpopuIar SONGS

There's Many A Slip TWIN The HIP And
The Lip."-By George ]. North. Norwood. Ohio
1T Takes A Lot of Jack To Get A Littl
Gill."-By Jay N. Edie, Findlay, Ohio.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-02-15
BITS OF BYPLAY
BY Luke deluxe.
copyrisht. 1920. by The Cincinnati Enquirer.
Ouchi

what would you do if you were in my
sboes?" whined the Shabby Man.
Il think I'd go and get a shine" replied the
Prosperous Man.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-02-15
ImprOmptu

He's worried. Keep beyond his reach,
or you will get into a fight.
He's writing the impromptu speech
He has to make tomorrow night.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-02-15
Towns Is Towns

I'd hate to live in Finland,
That land is cold and pokey;
But if / lived in Finland,
Id live in old Utsjoki.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-02-15
Paw Knows Everything

Willie-Paw, what is courage?
is something you always have
until YOU need it. my son.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-02-15

GOOD intentions never die" said Mr.. Gabb.
well" commented Mrs. Gabb, sweetly,
'.maybe that explains why yours are never car
ried out"
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-02-15
HnrrOrSi

Some of these days we suppose the Antioch
lifcation League will have Congress enact an
amendment reducing the number of cheers from
three to one.-Luke McLuke. To a sort of one
half per cent. near-cheer. Ell Luke Mash
WILLIE Tennesseean.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-02-15

The miner is a lucky guy, Il
Among men of all sorts: -
For he can on a hard bed lie
And dream about his quarts"
Tom Rooney. Milwaukee.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-02-15
AhNiCe

I think you'd wear a constant grin.
And you'd be rich and wise,
If you would take less medicine.
And take more exercise.
Luke McLuke.
To this advice l fain would add,
Though you be well or sick;
Your exercise makes no one glad
If all you do is kick.
Canton (Ohio) News.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-02-15

schwab and Dawes made the outgoing con-
gress noteworthy.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-02-15

According to reports from some college, stu
dents have been turning their sheepskins into
bootlegs.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-02-15

Daily occupation-Finding a new job for
Herbert Hoover.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-02-15

Yankee hens, jealous of their Chinese sisters
have started to lay.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-02-15

Our Daily Special
The Lack OF Money Is The Root OF All EVIL
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-02-15
Names Is Names

You can see A.. Tallman in Pontiac. Illinois
The Morning Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Okla.) 1919-1927, 1921-12-01
CAT IS NO LONGER WILD
rcrsonificaiion Of Indian Fable Now
Thoroughly DomcstiCnicd.

I OKLAHOMA CITY, nov. ~
Until recently. the state capitol had
iis "cat who walks BY herself. %
tabled IN legcndo OF indian, but the
cat which was Wild, has become
domestlcatcd. and now Unsteady Of
n daily hunt for mice and rats In
the grasses surrounding the state
hpua", she has warm home and Is
a friend 10 all state officials. from
governor 90 clerk.
Tho cat was a stray, with all the
appearances u stray when she was
found by q cafeteria official, hunt
ing as did hor ancestors for her very
cXistluce. In the midst Of the tall
grasses sh" made her home But
she was euticod fDrth by the call
OF dpmcsticity "kitty kitty" and
lurod 10 the capitol by a pan OF
cream.
Sow she promenades daily down
the long corridor Of the first floor
hall sttuttlng from wing TO wing.
Ana at dinner time after tapping up
the milk given her by the cafeteria,
she comes into the dining room and
f1vors governor and clerk alike
with hcr purring
The Morning Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Okla.) 1919-1927, 1921-12-01
CHAPTER XVI.
Joan McNp4.


lIannah's eyes opened Wide when
she snw her mistress with the privl-
logo taken by an old family retainer.
she remarked.
your sure look lovely Mrs. Hay
den. Like Miss Joans sister instead
or her mother"
Joan frOwnsd
"Ain't II so, Miss Joan7" Hannah.
unconscious. quoried.
1T would look all right only rs
no silly" Joan replied rather dis
dainfully.
'Tain't silly one bit, Miss Joanl
Your ma is nothing hut young
thing Of you Is a great big girl /
likes zee her perkin' up "A bit, It
VIII do her good. Most girls would
be proud to have such "A young look
ing MAJ" and with u sniff that said
as plainly as words: "Therel for
once | have sided against you. and
fou your mother" Hannah returned
10 the kitchen,
Margaret Ignored the servants re-
marks and commenced talking OF
other things. But Joan was far from
being the chattoring. interesting
tablo companion she usually was.
She Ato almost In silence, occasion
ally raising her eyes 60 give her
mother a diaapprovinE glance.
Margaret was beginning TO realize
that she too. as well as Joan. had n
right to DO free. 20 express hCr indi-
viduality. Up to now Joan's attitude
| had amused her. II had come tu
her almost unconsclously, certainly
without voition OF her own, that
she might be good mother to
Joan. and also be Margaret Hay
| den--a human being with "A life OF
her own TO lead Irrespective. and
separate from Joan's even though
she had 90 long thought otherwise
That dress could be made over
| for me-" Joan said after dinner was
| finished. She had followed her
mother upstairs, a thoughtful look
on her pretty face.
perhaps, when | have finished
with It," Margaret answered, try
Ing 20 speak with uuconccrn.
You don't mean you intend 10
wear H. Mother?"
Certainly That IL why | had Il
made" She mad shivered BIT al
that precise "mother."
And you are going TO comb
your hair like that2"
Yes, | think so. unlees 7 find y
more becoming style, THIS suits
my face. Don't YOU think so,
I Margaret glanced into tho mirror,
She smiled at her own reflection. so
young, So attractive. Her cheeks
were flushed. her eyes bright. This
tilt with Joan had someway added
The Morning Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Okla.) 1919-1927, 1921-12-01
THE NEW GENERATION
by Jane Phelps

To her appearance She walked ovor
20 her little daughter. almost ns tall
as she, and putting hor arm around
her added. Don't you really think
/ look nice, dcnr2"
For answer Joan drew away, and
throwing herself upon tho couch
commenced TO cry conyulsiyely. For
a few moments Margaret said moth
ing But as the HObs increased IN
violence, fearing Joan would make
herself H. she laid her hand on tho
childs heaving shoulders and said
What is Il. Joan7 What are you
crying about?"
At first joan made no reply The
sobR increased In violence,
Joan darling" Margaret knelt
beside her, tell me why you are
crying like this? You will surely
make yourself m"
The Morning Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Okla.) 1919-1927, 1921-12-01
A Stubborn Cough
Loosens Right Up
Thls homemade remedy IL . weu-
der fer quick results, Easily
aAd cheaply made.

Here is home made syrup which
millions of people have found to be
the most dependable means of break
ing, up stubborn coughs. II is cheap
and simple, but very prompt in nc.
ton. Under its healing, soothing in
iuence, chest soreness goes, phlegm
loosens, breathing becomes easier,
tickling in throat stops and you get
q good nights restful sleep. The
usual throat and chest colds are con.
guercd by IL in "a hours or less.
Nothing better for bronchitis, hosrse-
ness, Group, throat tickle, bronchial
asthma or vi nter coughs.
To make this splendid cough syrup,
pour pa ounces Of Pincx into q pint
bottle and fll the bottle with plain
Rranulated sugar syrup and shake
thoroughly. III you prefer use clari.
fed molasses, honey, or corn syrup,
instead Of sugar syrup. Either way,
you get full pint--a family supply
OF much better cough syrup than
you could buy ready made for three
times the money. Keeps perfectly
and children love its pleasant taste.
Pinex ls special and highly con.
centrated compound Of genuine Nor.
way pine extract, known the world
over for its PROMPT healing effect
upon the mcmh-sass.
To avoid disappointment ask your
druggist for "2h ounces Of Pinex"
with full directions, and don't accent
any thing else. Guaranteed to give
absolute satisfaction or money
promptly refunded. The Pinex Co,
Ft. Wayne, Ind.