South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-04-28

on, for your writing business. %
said Rivington. you couldn't have
applied 70 a better shop. What ]
don't know about little old New
York wouldn't make a sonnet 20 a
sunbonnet. I'll put you right in the
middle OF so much color that you
won't know whether you are mag
azine cover or in the eryapeias ward.
When do you want 90 begin ?"
Rivington is young man-about-
town and a New Yorker by birth.
preference and accountability.
/ told him that I would be glad
70 accept his escort and guardian
snip so that 1 might take notes OF
Manhattan's grand. gloomy and pc
culiar idiOsyncrasies. and that the
lime OF so doing would be at his
. own convenience.
Wen begin this very evening. p"
said Rivington. himself interested.
Ike good fellow. Dino with me
at seven. and then I'll s.e"r you up
against metropolitan phases so thick
you'll nave 10 have a kaleidoscope 70
record EN-"
So I dined with Rivington pleas
ft-aa a. AAAN AaAbf AAA At va ~
St and then we set forth in pursuit
OF the elusive tinctTre OF affairs
As we came out of the club there
stood two men on the sidewalk near
the steps in earnest conversation.
And by what process of ratiocin-
alton" said one OF them. edo you
arrive at the conclusion that the di-
vision OF society into producing and
possessing classes predicates
failure when compared with compel
tive systems that are monopolizing
in tendency and result inimtcally TO
industrial evolution p"
"Oh. come of your pcrchl" said
the other man, who wore glasses.
Your premises won't come out in
the wash. You wind-jammers who
apply bandy-legged theories to con-
crete categorical syllogisn.s send log
ical conclusions skallybOoun' into the
inanitesimal ragbag. You can't pull
my leg with an old sophism with
whiskers on II. You quote Marx
and Hyndam and Kautsky-what are
they2-shinesi Tolstoi 2-his garnet
is full Of rats. ! put IT 70 you over
the home-piate that the idea of a
= cooperative commonwealth and an
abOlishmont OF competitive systems
simply takes the rag off the bush and
gives me hyperesthesia OF the roop-
teetoop! The skookum house for
yours"
I stopped a few yards away and
took out my little notebook.
"Oh. come ahead said Riving-
ton, somewhat nervously; you dom
want 10 listen 10 that"
why. man." I whispered. this is
just what 1 do want 20 hear. These
slang types are among your city's
most distinguishing features. Is this
the Bowery variety? / really must
hear more OF Il"
'If I follow you" said the man
who had spoken first. you do not
believe IT possible TO reorganize So
ciety on the basis OF common inter
est ?"
Shiny on your own sidei" said
the man with glasses. You never
heard any such music from my fog
horn. What I said was that I did
not believe IL practicable just now.
The guys with the wads are not in
the frame OF mind 10 slack up on
tire mazuma. and the man with the
. portable tin banqueting canister isn't
exactly ready 20 join the Bible class.
You can be your variegated socks
that the situation is all spifflicated
up from the Battery TO breakfast!
What the country needs is some
bully old bloke like Golden or some
wise guy like old Ben Franklin TO
sashay up 10 the front and biff the
nigger's head with the baseball. Do
you catch my smoke What?"
RivingtOn pulled me by the arm
impatiently.
Please come on" ne said. Lets
20 see something. This isn't what
you want"
Indeed It IS" I said resisting.
This tough 4SIk IS the very stun
that counts. There is a picturesque
ness about the speech OF the lower
order OF people that IS quite unique.
Did you say that this the Bowery va
riety OF slang"
"Oh. we'll" said Rivington, giving
n Up. 'I'u tell you straight. That's
one Of our college professors talking.
He ran down for a day or two at
the club. It's a sort OF fad with
him lately 20 use slang i'm his con-
versation He thinks 10 improves
language. The man he IS talking TO
Is one OF New YOrk's famous social
economists. Now will you come on2
You can't use that you know"
No" 7 agreed: Il can't use that.
would you call that typical OF New
York? ,"
"Of course p said Rivinrton
with a sigh Of relief I'm glad YOU
see the difference. But AZ you want
10 hear the real old tough Bowery
slang I'll take you down where you'll
get your I'll OF it."
Il would like Il. said. that IS n
its the real thing. I've often read IL
in books, but 7 never heard IT, Do
YOU think it will be dangerous 10 60
unprotected among Cnose charac-
ters?"
"Oh. no." said Rivinston, mot AT
this time OF night. To tell the truth.
7 haven't been along the Bowery I'm
a long time. but know il as well as
do Broadway. Wen look up some
OF the typical Broadway boys and
get them 10 talk. tn be worth
your while. They talk a peculiar
dialect that YOU won't hear anywhere
else on earth"
Rivington and I went cas-. in a
Fortv-second st. car and then south
on the Third av. line
At Houston 81. we got OF and
walked
we are now on the famous Bow
erv." said Rivington. the Bowery
celebrated in song and story"
We passed block after block OF
..-.-.t. e,,~,tsbsD~ stoves 3D..