davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Free trader-journal and Ottawa fair dealer. (Ottawa, Ill.) 1920-1927, 1921-10-03
TOR SALE:.
HOUSES

FOR SALE-5-room house, West
Side; city water; electric lights ;
$500, half down, balance building and
loan. w. B. PUSEY. 507 Central Life
Bldg.
Free trader-journal and Ottawa fair dealer. (Ottawa, Ill.) 1920-1927, 1921-10-03
LOST AND FOUND

LOST-A lady's black silk umbrella +,
straight handle: gold topped, with
initials M. b." Return to BERT
LEAMY at NJ. & +. Bank. Reward.
Free trader-journal and Ottawa fair dealer. (Ottawa, Ill.) 1920-1927, 1921-10-03

LOST-Airdale pup, six.months old.
Answers to name of Buster. Find
er kindly notify this Office.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-04-18
TWO THOUSAND YEARS HENCE.

wouldn't it be interesting. II you could
10 earth and visit South Bend 1000 years hence!
You have watched our growth. tried TO guess which
suburb would develop next or where the center OF
the shopping district would in anpther SO
years You have heard old residents tell almost I'M
beiieveable OF the old and the changes
that have been wrought by time.
Yet those changes are nothing 20 what the fu-
ture will bring. What will South Bend be like m.
ssy, the year 10000 Hard to answer. but eventually
our city will inevitably crumble into the dust. Il
may take thousands of years. but history repeats.
and all cities all Civilizations. ultimately vanish
Suppose you could hack the clock and visit
Babylon. Ninevah. Thebes Tyre IN the days be-
torR tbex-Rgre depopulated and turned into ruins
Nth passing OF the civilizations which they crown
ed You'd talk to the inhabitants and they'd give
you a great laugh II you suggested that even this
may pass away.
In the Arabian Nights YOU read OF the glories
81 ancient Bagdad At the height Of its power Bag
dad was as big az Chicago OF today Overnight came
Chinese armies beheaded the 100000 inhabitants
who had not fed and built "A pyramid Of the heads.
Bagdad crunbled into the desert sands-so desoaTe
that It was never rebuilt the Bagdad rising
seross the river
The men who are erecting the giant Bush build
Ing in London England believe that in a few thou
sand years London may be a deserted ruins, with
rrcheologists excavating 20 learn the habits and
customs OF the people of 1921. SO. deep down IN
the concrete foundations of the Bush building they
arc constructing a sealed chamber in which viii
lie deposited articles typical OF present civlza-
ton.
Acting on the advice OF IT. G Wells the articles
will include safety razor cotton reel bottle
OF pickles a mail-order catalog, some patel
medicines. a typewriter. "a sewing machine rail
road timetable a moving picture machine and
film Archeoogists OF the year 1000 later dig
Eing under the Bush building. viii scratch their
heads bewilderedly and try TO guess what these
crude articles might have been used for by the
tarbarians Of 1921
What viii South Bend have in store for the
archeologists to smile ate The Grand Trunk and
" Y c. depots?
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-04-18

agents the Dalton gang This was the last
great gang OF train robbers OF old style
worked In the open and. holding up a whole train
gambled their lives The Dalton gang trying to pull
of a double-hesder robbery Of two banks ut the
came time. surrounded by posse OF goo eiti-
az Coreyville. Ksns When the smoke cleared
away. Emmett Dalton the only ssnsstsr left
alive. After his rrisbn days in discussing his 'bg
obs" he said that the gang once got nearly $50.
100"
There were. however. master crooks in the Old
Gays For instance the gang that stole 10000
from a New York, Kew Haven Hartford train
In 1866. They were captured by Allan Pinkerton
PROBABLY the greatest detective in American his
tory. To postal employees is sound horse-sense
II lead TO the big mail hooters getting cold
instead OF what their perverted brains consider
fame The country hopes
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-04-18
WILL YOU BE FAMOUs2

The poet. Robert sOuthey. tells OF old English
woman who heard one day that the king OF Prus-
Ella dead the same being the great Frederick.
Old Mary lifted her eyes with vacant stare and
replied: els he? Is he? The Lord ha' mercy Well
well the king OF Prussia! And who's he?" And
Southey observes that the who's he7" OF the old
woman might serve for a notable sermon
on ambition.
OF how many names famous today viii the
question be asked tomorrow: Who's he?" Prob
ably the most OF them. for only a survive
the severe judgment OF history.
To how many people do the great OF yes
teryear mean anything today? What significance
does the name OF James Buchanan convey? He was
a president. And in how many minds is there a DEF
mite meaning in the names OF Willard Fillmore
franklin Pierce and Rutherford Hayes? They were
presidents
They were great and honored men in their time:
they strove mighty attain their eminence; they
did their Jobs in the best way they knew. But fame
reserved its laurels for only few 81 presi-
dents who preceded Harding.
Write down the names or a dozen men who play
star Parts the stage OF public affairs today, IN
this community in the nation. Now study the
true worth OF each and check of those names
concerning which the next generation probably will
ssk: Who are they?" How many are left?
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-04-18
More Truth
Than Poetry
ATTEMPTING THE IMPOSSIBLE.
BY JAMES J. MONTAGUE

ATTEMPTING THE IMPOSSIBLE.
The men folks of His Majesty's pos
essions
cat least so in the cable news we
ready
Are coming to regard profane ex-
pressions
As footless. trite and very cheap
indeed
To cuss they say. is quite unnec-
essary.
To use short ugly words that start
with by"
Discloses that a mans vocabulary
Is sadly shy.
In order that their casual converse
tons
BY those they speak to may be
understood,
without the customary imprecadons,
They're hunting round for some
thing just as good.
In Shakespeare works. in Ger
greve. and Bacon
And other books by erudite old
birds,
These boosters OF reform have un-
dertaken
To find new words.
Well. az for us. we really hope they'll
find them;
We'd like to put them on the
proper track,
And vet it seems our duty TO remind
them
That cuss words reach a rather
long way back.
II we believe such widely letterei
sages
A. Leclxy. T Carlyle and cur
Mark Twain,
The gaIlants OF the very early ages
Were quite profane.
In every Latin bard's vocabulary
We find unpleasant words they
used TO speak.
DemOsthenes, we understand was
To ali the objurgations in the
Creek.
And though we hate TO hear men
speak profsnely,
And hold our ears whenever we're
around.
Good substitutes we think they'll
look for vainly-
They can't be found
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-04-18
Other Editors Than Ours
THE INTERPRETERS
indianapolis News.D


The interpreters are busy with the presidents
speech. but they do not seem TO be getting any
where. Only thing clear. and that is that
the country and its business the world and it's bust
in for months OF uncertainty which they
will have TO reconcile themselves as best they can.
How long it will take carry the presidential
programme there is one-no cay
guess.
While they are waiting what will the European
nations do? The fear is that they will revert to
old balance Of power. since whatever Mr.. Harding
decides France will be forced 10 take measure 20
IrOtect herself. The League OF Nations-which the
administration has repudiated-at least in rs
existing form-was designed, among other things
10 put behind France the power OF united world
and TO make II unnecessary resort the old and
war-breeding balance OF power. Certain of
patriots think IL very selfish" in other nations
look for their safety and well-beng. and
yet they yell America first" and seek get all
the advantages OF the Versailles treaty without
Stunning any OF its obligations.
The situation is at least as confused as it was
before the president spoke. ami judging by the in
expectations. perhaps Yesterday the Knox
resolution introduced, repeating the resolution
declaring state OF war--cOnditionaIIy So whether
this resolution would, II passed, any ef .
feet, depends wholly the will and action Of the
German government. 1t requires Germany
TO retention OF all property that came into
our hands a result Of the till treaty il
gOtated making suitable provision for the salts
faction of all claims" etc Until such treaty is en-
tered into all rights guaranteed by the Versailles
treaty are reserved" as is also the right 60
force the under the terms OF the armistice
signed Nov. IL 1918 any extension modihca-
tions thereof which under the treaty OF Yer
sailes have been stipulated" for the benefit OF the
United States governmfnt, "Or 20 which II is en-
titled OF the principal allied and associated
powers"
This resolution would. its face be Ineffective
unless Germany consented NJ its terms, acknowi-
edged herself bound 10 by the Versailles treaty.
though have not ratified IL. and agreed TO make
a separate treaty with this government embody
all the provisions OF the Versailles treaty
far as that touches our rights Until all these re-
quirements were fulhned-and one can say
when that viii be whether il will be--the
resolution declaring war would be unrepealed, and
the legal state OF would continue. II Ger
many should consent 20 everything, II might be
months before the treaty negotiated and rati
fed. and even then we should be subjected 10 the
humiliation Of making a separate peace The in
expectations OF the pro-Ieague republicans
eagerly looked forward TO- II there is policy
agreed which many doubt land with reason).
Prest Harding has secretary OF state who is able
10 put IL before the country in such way 20
make il Understandable. Such statement is great
ly 20 be desired.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-04-18
Ignorant Essays
By J. P. McEVOY

'Fow many carriages and wag-
ons" have I. you want TO know. and
how many melodeons and organs.
l will answer your question II you
will answer mine: What would 1
do with them II had them? How
many franchises" have ]. asked
my wife about this and she said
that we didn't have any. 1 thought
that was possibly another name for
some OF the things she wears.
Your item No. II puzzles me.
Steam boats sailing vessels, wharf
boats, barges or other water craft.
Do I really have to answer that
one? Tell me ii amt true. BS
the question that worries me more
than all the others is your No. 33.
in which I am asked to list prop
erty of saloons and eating houses
Who told you?
Your No. So startles me also
According to that 1 must enumerate
the grain on hand. With my usual
meticulous care and tanglefoot con-
science I have gone over the house
hold inventory and wish to report
the following: One-half box OF
ruffed rice One quarter pound Of
imputed rice. About one-half ea~
Of popcorn and three fingers of
grain alcohol.
However, your No 81 battles me
completely: "All other personal
property required to be listed" You
can't mean Il! Must I enumerate
all the safety blade razors. phono-
graph needles, safety PINS, porous
plasters. teething rings. boxes of
sardines, catsup bottles. rubber
dolls, can openers and other items
Of purely personal nature? Why
do you want 10 make me bare my
soul in this fashion? Why do YOU
wish me to drag the hidden init
macies Of my life into the cold
glare Of the MONDAY? Must I do
it? Say no. Please, say no!
Anxiously yours,
J. p. MEVOY.
Copyright. 1929
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-04-18
$4,000 REWARD.

Capture mail robber and win a reward high
a. $1,000. That's the amount offered by Postmaster
Gen. Will Il. Hays TO any postal employe or other
person who brings in a mail robber" All post Office
workers who handle valuable mail TO be armed
It's return TO shotgun riding" OF the old Wells
Fargo days. Shoot straight boys
Organized bands are plundering the mails right
and left Their loot in the dozen leading mail rob
during the last 10 months totaled over s.
coo 600 The biggest Sob was the theft OF 5000
600 from train between Omaha and Council
Bluffs Nov IT, 1920 Since r0bberes OF registered
. mails made good. these lootinss
direct levy on every taxpayer
It's a big suua-that ss.5oo.ooo Jesse James vas
q piker In the popular imagination he looms rs The
greatest rohber. yet Iootnes small e1cush
that The Ford brothers members OF his own prli
shot him IN to get the $4,000 reward offered
BY Gov Critanden or Missouri FOR Jesse James
capture dead alive"
Another plker compared with modern rOad
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-04-18
an OPEN LETTER TO THE
BOARD OF ASSESSORS.

My Dear Board:
The personal property schedule
you sent for me to fill out is on my
desk and l have just looked it over,
although I would much prefer to
overlook It.
am sure you will not take Of
Tense If 1 tell you that the schedule
puzzles me. Is it really intended
for me? ask this because OF the
various collection OF items OF prop
erty which you have listed, and
about which L must speak the
truth, the whole truth and nothing
but"
The first question YOU ask IS:
How many horses. Of all ages"
have 1? How did you come to ash.
me such a question? The only
horse I have is this schedule, which
is a horse on me. I use to have a
little pony when l was in college.
but one OF us has grown up now.
A little farther down you ask me
how many hogs OF all ages I have.
Why do you insist upon this all
ages stuff? What difference can It
make to an assessor whether a hog
IL sweet 16 or fair, fat or 40? II
would not make any difference to
me, I am sure, even II had hogs
which I haven't. But maybe YOU
refer TO rent hogs? I have one CT
those and If you want me 10 pay
taxes on him, I will be more gem
erous than that, l will give him 70
you.
Next you want to know how
many steam engines" l have. "ln-
Guiding boilers" Isn't that getting
rather personal? But I won't hold
out on you: have boilers. There's
the double boiler in which we cook
the oatmeal. although you should
really list that as one boiler, AMI
then there's the wash boiler. There
Is also the morning egg. How
shall I cook It." the missus asks
and / say boil 'er."
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-04-18

Enough signatures have been Sc
cured. Probably the city hall bunch
will be put on a commission basis
sometime today.
Wherever II rains on Saturday.
we always expect 10 pick VI the
paper at night and read Of n half
dozen or more suicides on Michigan
street.
The song. When You Get What
You Want. You Don't Want II" al
WAYS make US think OF the success
full candidates attitude toward the
voters after he has been in office
week
We saw John Ellsworth driving
toward Bremen Sunday afternoon
probably going down TO see how
the people stand on Jake Hecka-
man for congress.
Adam Beehler said Il with flow
ers again Sunday. II is reported
that Adam IS getting ready 10 move
over closer 10 the New York Cen
tral so he can get names for his
kids from off the Pullman cars as
they go whizzing by the house; his
supply Of common names have be-
come exhausted.
Gene Warner tole an advertiser
Saturday that he never reads The
News-Times in our presence. Mr.
Warner is expected TO recover.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-04-18
APRIL 10. 1921
TURNING 1T OVER AND OVER.

The saies tax they are talking OF IN Washington
n more specifically called a turnover sales tax I'm
Ices a rate were fixed so high that the public would
absolutely balk a simple sales tax. applied only 10
the final sale to the ultimate consumer, would NJ
raise enough money to take the place OF the excess
profits tax and the high surtax which Is the
object sought turnover sales tax would be
AK on every sale from the material through 20
me finished product
strip OF calico would be subjected nine taxes.
thus:
/. Raw cotton 20 gin.
2. Gin 10 spinner.
3. Spinner to mercerizer.
& Nrercerizer TO dyer.
5. Dyer to
s. Weaver TO fnisher.
Z Finished cloth to wholesaler.
s. Wholesaler 20 retailer.
3. Retailer TO you.
Now merchandising is a very human business
and every man who has hand in this cotton-to-
ealico-to-you transaction would do exactly what
you'd do in his case II the sales frac-
ton or n cent he would add at least whole cent
40 the price-and he might add
Nine transactions: nine cents-and probably con-
siderable more. None OF the nine sellers pay that
tax: each passes II on to the next adding little
more leaves added as the cotton
leaves the grower two cents as it leaves the gnner'
three cents it leaves the spinner and so on.
Turnover tax Is right; II it becomes law # will
make the decreased Messrs Payne and Aldrich turn
over in their graves They will hate themselves for
having thought of It.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-04-18
JUST FOLKS
BY EDGAR A. GUEST

THE GLORIOUS FUTURE.
Here let US rest,
For we have done our best
oh. sorry should we be If that were
true,
Here in world where there's so
much 10 do!
Tomorrow calls US to the better day,
One task accomplished, while a
thousand stay
Untouched, and to the last
Men boast some petty glory OF tho
past.
Swift as the years
Are conquests cheers,
Nor with one splendid feat is life
complete.
Tomorrows work all men must
wake to meet.
Live not with what IS done.
But keep your thoughts forever
dwelling On
The bright new morning, and forget
The past. remembering what awaits
you yet.
Live not with praise
or by-gone days.
Pride dulls ambitions edge. When
men grow vain
They cease to struggle 10 attain.
! Though fair the finished task to
see.
Brighter SHAH glow what Is 70 he
He only meets lies sternest test
Who hopes and works 10 do his
best.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-04-18
CHINESE SECRET SOCIETY.

A Chinese merchant in Chicago sold some jap
anese goods last week-and a secret society ordered
him TO pay the customary $4,000 fine or get meas
ured for wooden kimono. He paid the fine.
This Chinese boycott against Japanese goods.
with severe penalties, is going in every China
Iown all over the world. and all through China A
few months back. Francisco Chinese held "A
public bonfire OF all silks and others Japanese wares
possession.
The idea is to cripple Japans foreign trade un-
til she Chinese territory There never
has been a peaceful war as powerful and extern
sive this boycott. There been in the
worlds history, punitive secret society as strongly
organized the enforcing the boycott. the
possible exception Of the Ku Klux Khan.
The Chinese say that their peaceful war against
Japan is getting the desired resuts that It Is only
a question OF time until Japan will pull out
Of Chinese territory. Whether or no. the Chinese
giving the world the first demonstration o
power OF a trade boycott as a substitute for war.
Folks will gradually stop making their own
dquor, account OF the labor involved That's the
answer to the fellow who fears prohibition may
into nation OF make your own"
The reason city readers turn first TO the funny
page the funny page is where you get the
real home news.
Hat checker says he wouldn't mind prohibition
if it hadn't taken all the quarters out of circula-
ton.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-04-18
THE SAFEST WAY.

If we were Mr. Carpenter we
would submit that understanding
with Mr.. Dempsey 70 the grievance
committee OF the League OF Ma
tons.
Copyright. 1920
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-04-18
The Tower of Babel
by BILL ARMSTRONG
GAIL FOR HANK IIoNGFEIIOw.

CALL FOR HANK DONGFEIIOw
(News-Times ADJ
When you want the best in ladies'
clothes
You go to Charley Sax;
But when you want the cleanest
food
You stop your car at NIack's.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-04-18

DR.. Einstein couldn't understand
the American reporters Which
made II all even.
Copyright. 1920
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-04-18
TEMPTATION.

II is a good thing for George
WashingtOn's reputation that he
never had 10 keep a golf score.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-04-18
NEXT no THE nnOssTpIr

Getting a ride in Eben Cuttings
Buick
Trying to have a check cashcd
on a street car so that you can pay
your fare.
Taking the Twentieth Century
Limited 10 Misha waka.
Having a good time in dry
town.
Insulting Cuple Collins
Securing an ad from Tom Gar
land.
Finding any news in the Sunday
papers.
Keeping your temIer when you
are in the midst OF a phone CONVEX
sation and one Of Ed Bonds oper-
ators cuts you of. without even an
apology.
Satisfactory home brewing.
The truth from a candidate or a
coal man.
A deaf and dumb barber.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-04-18
ADAM GRUNIP SEZ

Johnny Rupp thinks it's a little
cold yet for Ford bugs, but prom
ises a bumper crop soon as the
weather IS right. Many an honest
heart beats beneath the coat of
coal man.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-04-18

DIAGNOSIS.
The telephone rang and the
bOokkeeper answered fl.
Yes. madam. this is Brenfeck' g
market"
This is Mrs. Blank. I want you
to know that the liver you sent me
Is most unsatisfactory. It is not a
calf's liver at all; caIfs liver is ten
der and"
Just a moment madam. and I'll
call the proprietor"
What is it," Brenfleck asked.
The bookkeeper surrendered the
phone.
Mrs. Blank" he said. Liver
complaint"
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-04-18

Hat checker says he wouldn't mind prohibition
ton.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-04-18

page is because the funny page where you get the
real home news
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-04-18

Copyright. q.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1921-02-18
BENNINGTON BRIEFS
News OF the Town and Village Tolc
Briefly for Busy Readers.

Mr. and Mrs. Will am Culllnan spent
yesterday in Troy
Mems 25c black hose. special 15c 1T
p. Shimllntzky's. 1l5 North street.
ADJ
Just arrived Nora and ION
Sweetheart Shore by Walter Seaman
Home Furniture Co. Adv 35t2
Mems good cotton socks, only
pairs for 25c, at the Solomon's Shoe
Shop, 1926 North street ADV
Fritz Armstrong and John G. Crow
10y Of Springfield, Mass were in town
Thursday Wis ting at the home OF J.
ed. Walbridge
Brick ice cream at Harwood's, fla.
vors changed weekly Sunday or.
ders must be In before II a. N Pint
and quart sizes.-Adv soft
Rea'art offers you Mary Miles Min
tor and Jack Hot in "All Souls Eve, -
great play splendidly produced, a
Clyde Cook comedy and Pathe News
Harte Theatre today ADV.
"All Souls Eve" tells Of the pretty
old Irish legend that on "A'l Souls
Eve the spirits Of the dead may re-
turn to console and help those they
left behind. See the picture starr ng
Mary M les Minter at Harte Theatre
today ADV.
All great religions have had their
sacred books, but the Bible has the
preemIn ence among them. In his in
troductorv talk in the ser es OF sun
day evening lectures on the Modern
View OF the Bible Mr.. NJ lis will make
reference to the most important OF
these bodies Of writings Of the various
re gious and will show by some eX-
amples how they compare with the
teachings o. Christ anty Properly to
understand the Bible ore needs. to
know something about the holy books
OF all religions.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1921-02-18
Bold Strategy.

"'rhe next move" remarked Mr.
Quickrich "ls TO invite the police In
to Investigate our new scheme"
"Aren't you afraid they'll find out
the way the trick is doneT
wen have to take n chance on
that, In the meantime we need the
publicity"
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1921-02-18
Frank.

"Did you read my speech IN the pa
pers?"
~ did NOT, senator! I'm going to be
frank with you. The only time speech
es ever get TO me is when I'm In
room and can't get away from EN-. To
sit down deliberately to read speech
IN a paper would never occur to me"
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1921-02-18

"You turn constantly from your
studies az electricity TO the compost
ton OF maXimS on thrift"
Naturally" replied Ben Franklin.
mot only do desire poslerlty to
have the benefit Of electric light and
power. but want it 10 be able to pay
the charges for current"