The New York herald., 1921-07-03
The Book Factory
BY EDWARD ANTHONY.
ALLEN RIPPLE. BOOK AGENT.

I'm coming to your rescue, luckless rover.
l. Allen Ripple. member of the clan,
Who We peddled books from here to Hndustan,
Arise to swat our mutual enemies
Who We libelled profession with wheeze.
l. dean Of all the agents in the land
Who sold books than there grains of sand
On all the beaches of the universe,
Now undertake to lift the ancient curse.
And who are these that ridicule u.s. eh?
That with their desultory qups essay
To put us in class with half-witsY can tell
A thing two about EN-. Listen we'll
There's Charlie Rickett. Charlie has going
Tobacco store His business keeps agrowing
Faster than any rival s. Men delight
In dropping in at Charles OF night
To buy of him cigars and cigarettes
And sit back while he scales the parapets
Of other days and talks of Wellington
And of his well known foe Napoleon,
OF Caesar Alexander, Walter Scott,
Beethoven Darwin, Angelo-there' S not
noted man he doesn t know about.
A reputation he S acquired throughout
The neighborhood as result Now how in thunder
Did Charles become erudite? wonder
If you re aware that back in nineteen ten
/ sold the fellow ''Lves of Famous Men,
(Six volumes, bound in cloth or leather Price
OF cloth, eight dollars-leather, twelve. nice
Waiting room book thousand doctors, firms,
And dentists have em. Buy one. Easy terms,)
Yes made Charlie what he is to-day,
And yet the piker doesn t want to pay
Me for the volumes. Every time come
He mumbes, ''Gosh, he's here again, the bum!'
And scowls as though d sw ped one of his ncke
Cigars I'D rather puff upon pckle.)
No use to take the books back. Full of soup
And gravy stains. II fix the nncompoop
l II stand outside his store and draw crowd,
And holler C can holler pretty loud),
cold Rickett swiped a set of books from me!
Let s have little smoking party free
The books twelve dollars cost-we ii rush his store
And cop that many smokes !-and maybe more"
I'll fix the geezer, yes, II show him whether
A guy can swipe a set of Lives in leather.
And then there S Aaron Pop who used to eat
Peas with his knife, in the funny sheet
The hoboes do He d also spit upon
The ceiling. Oh what hosts have undergone
When Aaron was their guest We heard it said
He wouldn't hesitate to scratch his head
At fancy teas or pare his finger nails,
Or tell naughty matron barroom tales,
Or cheat his hostess at high-tone whist,
And when discovered swear and shake his fist.
I'd heard of Aaron and | thought it time
To help the poor benghted heather climb
Out of the pit and make of him
Accordingly | brought the fellow
Encyclopedias of Etiquette
And talked him into purchasing the set
What happenedR Aaron Pop became swell
That when the other day | rang his bell
He hollered through the window . Is it right
To bother me earyY Be polite.
Also the tradesmen s entrance ism here,
Please bear in mind the same is in the
What kind of manners have you, anyway
I've the likes in all my day.
And there others-Algernon O'Neil,
Belinda Anderson and Percy Peal,
Luella Watt and Oedipus, her brother
Who have occasion another
Given reason to believe that vending
Books is as bad stoking or barendng.
TN .ou ,o,, oe +Loeo foI-e oro+bor +;r,o
Perhaps next week when We some leisure. I'm
Agoing now I've got to keep date
With some up the street IT. getting late
He wants to see 'The Family Doctor Book.
And by the way, that S something you might look
AT with no little profit. Volumes, four.
special off ring for month (no more)
AT seven dollars Would you like a setQ
No2 Take em approval You'll regret
1t if you don T. Well, guess II along
You d better buy those books You can 90 wrong.
If only they help you cure a cold
What, is it six areadyY Could have sold
That other set by now Good-by,
I'm going. Hope he's not a grouchy guy.
AS saying friend you can't 60 wrong,
So better buy those volumes. Well, long.