The New York herald., 1921-05-01

This month, not once. but hall a dozen
times
In oilded cdfeterias I're safe
(Oh, there are editofs that buy my
rhynes).
Partaking. tohue the ployer-pidno played
The latest rag Jof food as caIoried
As any mans. o, mock not at my trade
False is the ancient jest, o false. in
deed ,
Why, this toas ioritten, pes, this very
In MARS Busy Bee the other day.
WE SPEAK WITH AUTHORITY.
when wheat has once been sown it
cares for itself: further cultivation is
unnecessarily is the lazy mans
crop."-From THE New Stone Age in
Northern Europe" by John NJ. Tyler
(Scribner's).
Nonsense, Wheat isn't the lazy
mans crop. There's another crop
and we've SO acres Of it on our farm
near New Brunswick-which you
don't even have to sow-weeds.
The only momentous piece of infor-
nation that Wells failed to record in
"The Outline of History" is the fact
that "A Handbook of Orchestration"
tDutton) is the work of Florence G.
Eidler
Frank Spier of Knopfs office in
sists that Macmillan J. Rudwin's
Devil Stories is a helova fine book.
BEGINNING THE JOURNAL OF
CARLO KNIGHT, FREE LANCE.
Monday. The morning mail-a cir
cular from the Nu-Method Short
Story School Oearn in six lessons),
letter from the Up-to-Date Publishing
Company rejecting my proposal for
SIX volume life of Bert Williams. an
invitation from the Hirsute Products
Company to submit a bid on a pub
licity campaign to stimulate the sale
of OVERNIGHT. a new hair restorer,
and a letter from my old friend. jim
my jerks, containing an excellent
suggestion. Writes Jimmy:
Here's a real idee. Carlo Some
one ought to write crap game poem.
Why not you? Hugh Wiley and
Octavus Roy Cohen have handled
the theme with skill In short stories,
Thackeray has some good dice game
touches in Barry Lyndon Odin
Gregory's mention of the grand old
pastime in 'Caius Gracious has re-
Gently attracted attention and East
wood Lane, the composer has been
successful with his musical treat
ment of the theme - "che First
American Crapsody.' It's time, ] re-
peat, that some one penned a crap
~ 4. h..rN NlI NrI nV.1
low for such a poem In the works of
all the poets and have found nothing.
Once, In going through the works of
Wordsworth, / ran across the title,
We Are Seven and 7 thought / had
at last found the great dice ditty.
but II developed that / was wrong.
Write II, Carlo, and become famous"
For three hours l sit and try TO
write the great dice epic No luck.
Tuesday. What Is this wonderful
headline I see on the back page Of
THE SuN-"Yankee Teaches Duke
Dice Game? There Is the theme for
the great poem. l dash IL off in six
seconds-slx and three-fifths to be
exact Here It is
EDUCATING ROYALTY.
The Prince OF Ardmundd Is d-shootino
| craps one dan
with Ed,odrd Alfred AlOernon. the
Earl OF Citronelld.
"Seven to five roll an eight" eroldims
the Prince Of A.,
When Adolph, King Of all the Realm,
reru strict old fclin.
/ Comes trottin0 by on Suscratn, his celc.
brdted steed,
And, Jumping of the same. emits hor-
rifed "IndcedP
"Forofre u.s." plead ne Prince and
Earl;
1--WE know hotr this nti,st hurt you.
| Yankee lad, tcith habits bad
And no idea Of Uirtuc,
Taught us the game He claims IL Is
His countrv's national sport.
Wen quiz it, though, for 0dmbliH0's
lotC:
Don't banish ~ from court"
"Ah. hai you plead for mercy" cries
the angry Adolph then.
"Woli, oentlemen. I needn't say PUe
GOT you hn M po,oor.
And 7 intend 10 treat you as treat all
tcicked mcn.
on. Keeper ~ hc Prison. put these
viHains in the To,Cerp
And in the Topcr nc puts 'cm--yet they
like n rcrp ireH,
For no ones there 10 hear 'cm as they
roll the bones and yell:
"Fm shooting tent" "AH ,ight, Pu
fade
san, trhdps your pointf" "A frep
"WeH, ttco 10 ono 10 can't be donef
Come ron 'ebl Act dhuci'
"A fUei I Ciu NotC shoot the roHi
lcin again. old SCOUT
TH san that's uedtl II I repeat
Pli bug the kingdom outw
II this poem becomes famous-as II
probably will hope my biographers
will not fail to give Jimmy credit for
suggesting the idea.
Wednesday l make q bright re-
mark at tea To the lady who drops
into my cup a squeezed out piece Of
lemon | observe: mo, thank you; that
has outlived it's juicefulness.' This
and Ted winslow's remark when he
Is Offered a cup of the same beverage:
NO. I don't care for any, I'm tea
totaler." arc the only jarring notes
OF the afternoon. Bob and match
r..