davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Cheyenne Wells record., 1921-10-27
Tall7

An American and an English.
were discussing the merits M n.
respective parents. n
"Ah!" said the Yankee, s..
my father was a clever man. H.
a chimney-shaft builder, and -.
himself famous with the last IN
he erected"
"Oh, indeed!" remarked the B.I
lishnan. N
"Sure thing" continued the AM.
ican. 1T was SO high that when N,
weathercock got stuck, the man N
went up to put it right had to M
q weeks rations for the journeyw
: "Oh, ho!" laughed .he Encllshm.
"That's nothing. My father was 4,
a shaft builder. and the last one \
built was so high that he had ID !
up every night and take the ton 4
to let the moon so by.'-Londou n
swers. ,-,
Cheyenne Wells record., 1921-10-27
WOMEN NEED sWlR1

Thousands Of women h.,. ~
bladder trouble and never mr..s neig
Women's complaints often nst
nothing else but kidney tronRh,0 Rh,0N b
result Of kidney or bladder % S;.. =
If the kidneys are not IN
condition, they may cause n. n u ~
gans to become diseased. As 0sas
Pain in the back, headacb. H..
bition, nervousness, are often H.. % y
toms of kidney trouble. 1a
Don't delay starting treats.
Kilmer's Swamp-Root, a pby,;.... b..
scription, obtained at any dns ai IN 4
be just the remedy needed !, '@s
such conditions. 0'as
Get a medium or large .i,. bo.s. !,
mediately from any drug stors ''9s
However, if you wish firt "a
great preparation send ten c.s.s &
Kilmer 4 Co., Binghamton n ~
sample bottle. When writinaS Il /. =, ~, =
mention this paper.-Advertissm..aass .as
Cheyenne Wells record., 1921-10-27
Christian Name.

In certain primary class the teach-
or had been at great pains to explain
Tho distinction between surnamcs ana
Christian names. Then she .
unon the children to give examples OF
ench kind from their own names anu
those Of other members of their ram
ilies. 49,, l.,
When Charles was asked to tel IN
ono statement the surname and Inc
Chr:st,on name of his father, he re-
sponded, after some hesitation: NY
fathers surname is Tonpkins, ana his
Christian name Is Methodist.
Cheyenne Wells record., 1921-10-27
MOTHER! MOVE
cHlLp's BOWELS WITH
CALIFORNIA FIG SYRUP

Hurry, mother! Even a SICK ,..,, cnl,o
,ores the .fruity" taste Of california
Fig Syrup" and it never fails to open
tho bowels. A teaspoonful today may
nrevent sick child tomorrow. If con-
stipated, bilious, feverish' fret1u', nus
cold, collie, or If stomach Is sour
tongue coated, breath bad, remember
aoo5 cleansing of the little bowels Is
often all that is necessary.
Ask your druggist for genuine cali
fornia Fig Syrup" which has directiohs
for babies and children Of all ages
nrjnted on bottle. Mother! You must
saw "California" or you may get an
imitation fIg syrup.-Advertisement.
Cheyenne Wells record., 1921-10-27
Lonesome,

"You concede that our city Is beavt|
full, has clean streets, healthful ~
rOundings and good government
"Of course" said the forus|
New Yorker.
"You have established a good bri|
less here?"
"Oh, yes"
'"Then why can't you be haM
among us?"
"YOu have no rush hours"
Cheyenne Wells record., 1921-10-27
Case Of Demonstratitis.

II am thinking Of buying car
"Why buy? Have You had dena|
stratiOns from them all"
mot quite, but the demonstrated
aren's quite SO demonstrative as thq
were at first. The last one that tod
me shopping was even more unentfp
siastic than the one that had taka
me calling the day before. I think \
was the one who put the demon b
demonstrarc."-Itetail Ledger, Pill
delphia.
Cheyenne Wells record., 1921-10-27
To Have a Clear Sweet Skin

Touch pimples, redness. rougnness
or itching, if any, with Cuticura ONT
ment. then bathe with Cuticura Soap
and hot water. Rinse. dry gently ana
dust on a little Cuticura Talcum TO
leave a fascinating fragrance on SKIN.
Everywhere 25c ach.-Advertisemeht
Cheyenne Wells record., 1921-10-27
New Statute Needed.

"Judge. he stays away from hon !
practically all the time"
"That's bad"
"Why, l even have to 60 out TO ri
golf links when I want to ask him ia|
money"
Cheyenne Wells record., 1921-10-27
Drawn Together.

Mrs. Jibway and Mrs. Gaddef han
declared n truce"
"What brought that about"
Community of envy"
"Eh?"
"Mrs. Gadspur Of the same ness
borhood has a new car"
Cheyenne Wells record., 1921-10-27
Admitted.

Blinks-I read curious article IN
other day advocating tax on oeauV
Jinks-GOOd idea. They wont la"
much trouble in collecting 1t.
Cheyenne Wells record., 1921-10-27
Sweet Dreams.

Like most three-year-olds. Dorothy
Jane is always very insistent on hav-
ing her own solutions. One evening
she decided she must have something
to eat before going to bed. and on a
survey Of the pantry, decided on raw
Irish potatoes. However, big sister
objected to this choice, saying: dor
othy Jane, you must not eat raw po-
tatoes before going to sleep; you will
have bad dreams"
"Well. then give me sweet potatoes ;
they make me sweet Dreams" argued
Dorothy Jane.
Cheyenne Wells record., 1921-10-27

He who lives only In future joys VII
know many present pains.
Cheyenne Wells record., 1921-10-27

Being satisfied with yourself Is not
always n compliment to your taste.
Cheyenne Wells record., 1921-10-27
The Wronu Batch,

II never tasted such queer batter
cakes"
"Hey. you've fried my home brew"
Evening star., 1921-05-01

and she's been trailing me; and now.
by heck. she's found me.
"'limily gives a loud. glad snort or
recognition. wheels herself around
and then falls in alongside the front
hack and gets ready to accompany
us, all the time poking her snout over
at me and uttering plaintive remarks
in East Indian to me. Gents. he says.
YOU can see for yourselves. a thins
like that occurring right at the be-
ginning of funeral procession. is
calculated to distract popular atten-
tion away from the main attraction.
Under the circumstances | wou!dn
blame no corpse on earth Tor ieel1ne
jealous-let alone a popular and
prominent corpse like this here one
was--a party that had been district
leader at Tammany Hall in his day.
and after that the owner of the most
fashionable retail liquor store in the
entire neighborhood. and who's now
riding along with solid silver handles
up and down both sides. and style
just wrote all over him. Here. with
an utter disregard for expense. he's
putting on all this dog for his last
public appearance and ii strange cle-
plant comes a.ong and grabs the show
right away from him.
The bereaved family don't care
for it: neither. I gathers as much
from the remarks they're making out
Of the windows of the coach. But
Emily just wont take hint. ST e
sticks along until I stops the process
sion and goes in a Italian fruit store
on the next block and buys her bag
of peanuts. That's all she wants.
She takes it, and she leaves us and
goes on back to the stable
But. as the feller says. il praCti-
cally ruined the entire day for. them
berefts. I lost their patronage right
there-and them nice family. too.
lot of the friends and relatives also
resented it; they were telling me so
all the way back from the cemetery.
There amt no real harm in Emily.
and I've got powerfully attached to
Evening star., 1921-05-01

that's doing the press work for the
house comes to me and asks me if |
amt got an idea in my system that
might make a good press-stunt.
There's an inspiration comes to me
and l suggests to him that maybe he
might go ahead and make an an
nouncement that following the Sat
urday matinee. Emily the Pluperfect.
Ponderous. Pachydermical Perform
er. direct from the court Of the reign
ing Roger of Simla County. India
will hold "A reception on the stage to
meet her little friends. each and
every one of whom will he expected
to bring her bag of peanuts.
THAT listens all right says this
lad, providing she likes peanuts.
".Providine she likes en- | says
Son ! says. if that bull ever has
to take the cure for the drug habit
it'll be on account of peanuts. If
you don't think she likes peanuts. a
sim will win YOU d trip to the Holy
Lands. | says. Why ! says. 'Emilys
middle name is Peanuts. Offhand.
says. 1 don't know precisely how
many peanuts there are. | says. be
cause if | ever heard the exact fig
ures I've forgot EN-. but I'd like to
lay YOU a little eight to five that
Emily can chamber all the peanuts
III the world and then set down right
where she happens to be. to wait
for next years crop to come onto
the market. That's how much she
cares for peanuts, | says.
Well that convinceS him and he hur-
res off to write his little piece about
Emily's peanut reception. The next day
which is Friday. the announcement is in
both the papers. Saturday after lunch
when ! strollS round to the show shop
for the matinee. one glance around the
corner from the stage entrance proves
hot ia1 nrt g
certainly starting out to be success.
The street in front is lined on both sides
with dagos with peanut stands. selling
peanuts to the population as fast as
Evening star., 1921-05-01

] find Windy in the act OF being fore
: IDLY detained in the front office.
! Immediately after i arrived. the
! pay-off started and continued unabat-
| ed for quite a period OF time. First we
settled in full with the late proprie-
tors of them defunct peanut-roastinE
machines: and then the owner OF the
wrecked fruit store. and the man that
owned the opera house. and the stout
lady who'd tainted from the waist up
but was now entirely recovered. and
| the fieshy gent who'd climbed the tel
| egraph pole and the railroad agent and
some several hundred others who had
claims for property damage or men
! nervous systems or shortage OF
breath or loss of trade or other L.
juries-all these were in line. waiting.
| We was reduced to a case ten-spot
| before the, depot agent, who came
| last, lined up for his'n; but he took
one good look and said he wouldn't
! be a hog about tive could keep that
! ten -speker and he'd be satisfied just
| to take over our private car in con-
sideration of the loss inflicted by En-
! lily to his freight shed. I was trying
to tell him how much We appreciated
I his kindness. but the chief Of police
wouldn't let me finish-said he
| couldn't permit that kind of language
to be used in a police station. said IT
might corrupt the morals of some of
his young policemen,
80 everything passed OF very pleas
and satisfactory at the police sta
ton. but Emily spent the evening and
the ensuing night right where she was
voicing her regrets at frequent in
| tervals. Along toward morning she
! felt easier. although sadly depleted in
| general appearance. and about day
light her and Windy bid me good
| by and went off acrosst-country a.
| foot aiming to catch up with Ring
| bold's Brothers circus. which was re-
ported to be operating somewhere in
| that vicinity. AS for me, I'd had
| enough for the time being of the re-
| fined amusement business. / took
my half of that lone sawbuck which
| was all that was left to US from our
frittered and dissipated fortunes. and
started east. travelling second class
| and living very frugally on the way.
! And that was about all that happened.
| worthy Of note. with the exception OF
violent personal dispute occurring
between me and a train-butch coming
| out of Ashtabula."
| What was the cause" / asked as
| Scandalous stood up and smoothed
down his waistcoat.
Il had just one thin dime left"
said Scandalous, land l explained my
predicament to the butch. saying as
how l wanted what was the most
| filing thing he had for the price
| and he offered me a sack OF peanuts!'
| Copyright. 1921. Printed BY arrangement With
Metropolitan Service and The Washington Star }
Evening star., 1921-05-01

eatin' sacks and all any more; she's
emptying the peanuts out and throw
ing the paper bags aside. Likewise
her work amt clean and smooth like
it was. Her underlip is swinging
down. and she's beginning to drool
loose goobers off the lower end of it.
and her low but intelligent forehead
Is all furrowed up as if with deep
| thought.
nOBSERVING all Of which, 1 says
to myself, l. says: If ever
Emily should start to cramp, the
worlds cramping record is also in a
fair way to be busted this afternoon.
1 certainly do hope l says. that
Emily don't go and get overextended.'
You see. I'm trusting for the best,
because ] realizes that it wouldn't do
to call off the reception right in the
middle of it on account of the dis
appointment amongst the tiny tots
that amt passed in review yet and
the general ill-feeling that's sure to
follow.
II should say about 200 tiny tots
have gone by, with maybe 500 more
still in line waiting their turn, when
there halts in front of Emily a fancy
dressed tiny tot which he must've
est man in town, because he's holding
in his hands bag of peanuts fully
a foot deep. 1t couldn't of cost a
cent less'n half a dollar. that bag.
Emily reaches for the contribution,
fondles it for a second or two and
starts to upend it down her throat,
and then. with a low, sad. hopeless
cry. she drops it on the stage and
sort of shrugs her front legs forward
and stands there with her head bent
and her ears twitohins same as if
she's listening for something that's
still long ways off but coming
,, closer fast. And at that precise in
slant sees the first cramp start from
behind her right-hand shoulder blade
and begin to work south. Say, it was
of an earthquake.
Moving slow and deliberate, Emily
turns around in her tracks, shivering
all over. and then 1 sees the cramp
ripple along until it reaches her
lifts all four of her feet clean off the
floor, and when she comes down
again she comes down travelling.
There's some scenery in her way.
and some furniture and props and
trouble to go round 'em. She goes
| through 'em, as being a more simple
| and direct way. and a minute later
! she steps out through the stage en-
trance into the crowded marts Of
trade, with half of a cottage fiat
| hung around her neck. Me and
Windy is trailing along. urging her
| to be cam. but keeping at a rea-
| sonably safe distance while doing
SO. Behind us as We comes forth
| we can hear the voices of many
tiny tots upraised in skeered cries.
| Being a Saturday afternoon. the
business section is fairly we'll crowd
ed with people. and I suppose it's
| only natural that the unexpected
appearance upon the main street of
the largest bull in captivity. wearing
part of a set Of scenery for a collar
| and making sounds through her
snout Ike . switch-engine in dis.
] tress, should cause some surprised d
comment amongst the populace. In
Evening star., 1921-05-01
Another Story BY Euin S. Cobb

" and reaching out for the next sack.
And behind the second kid is the thira
kid and behind the third KID, sun
more kids and as far as the human
eye can reach. there amt nothing on
the horizon of that show-shop but Just
kids-kids and peanuts.
1T certainly was beauteous spec
tacIe to behold so many of the dear
little ones advancing up that runway
with peanuts. To myself. i says: 1
+ guess I'm a bad little suggester. eh,
| what? Here's Emily getting all this
fool head off and the house getting all
this advertising and none of US out
cent for any part of it.
In about ten minutes. though. I'm
struck by the fact that Emilys original
outburst OF enthusiasm appears slightly
on the wane. 1t seems to me she ain I
reaching out for the free-will offerings
with quite so much eagersomeness as
she was displaying spell back. Also l
| takes notice that the wrinkles in her
tum-tum are filling out so that she
beginning to lose some of that debated
or punctured look SO common amongst
bulls.
Still. | don't have no apprehensions.
but thinks to myself that any bull
which can eat half ton of hay for
breakfast certainly is competent to
! take in couple of wagon loads Of
peanuts for 5 o'clock tea. Even at
that ! figgers that it won't do any
harm to coach Emily along little.
"'Go to it, baby mine l says to
her. You amt hardly started. Here's
a chance. ! says, to establish new
worlds record for peanuts.
{ That remark appears to spur her up
| for a minute or so, but something
seems to keep on warning me that
her heart amt in the work to the
extent il has been. Windy don't see
rf no hni q
congenially engaged in shooting off
his face. but I'm more or less con-
cerned by certain mighty significant
facts. For one thing, Emily amt
Evening star., 1921-05-01

her. but taking one thing with an
| other. j amt regrettin' none tha
you've come down all organized
| financially to take her out Of pawn
You have my best wishes, and SO has
she
eco we settles up the account to
~ date. which the same makes quite
a nick in the bank roll, and then we
goes back to the rear of the stable
where Emily is quartered, and she
falls on Windy's neck, mighty nigh
ldislocating it. and he introduces me
to Emily, and we shakes hands to-
gether.-I mean trunks.--and the.
Windy unshackles her, and she fol-
lows US along just as gentle as kit
ten to them freight yards over on
Tenth avenue. where her future
It's a box car, with one end rugged
up with hunks as a boudoir for me
and Windy, and the rest of it fitted
out as private stateroom for Emily
From that time on. for quite A
| spell, were just the 50 me as one biz
touring from place to place.
We're playin' the Big Time, which
means week stands and no hare
Jumps. Emily's a hit. Knockout and
a riot wherever she appears. She
knows it too, but success don't go tC
her head. and she don't never get nc
attacks of this here complaint which
they calls temperament. l always fig
eered out that temperament, when q
grand wopra singster has it. is jus,
plain old temper when it aff1icts &
| bricklayer. l don't know what form il
would take if it should seize on q
! bu!l, but Emily appears to be abso
) lutely immune. Give her a ton OF hay
! and one sack OF peanuts a day, anc
she's just as placid as a great gros:
| of guinea pigs. Behind the scenes snt
never makes no trouble, but chum:
| with the stagehands and even some
| times with the actors. thus proving
| that she amt stuck up.
when the time comes for Emily to
| do her turn she just goes ambling
| on behind Windy and cuts up more
| didoes than any trick mule that ever
lived. She smokes a pipe, and she
toots on a brass horn, and waits or
1
| and stands on her head. and play:
| base ball with him and SO forth ant
SO on. for fifteen minutes, winding
up by waving tho Amurikin fiae
over her head. But all this time she'i
keeping one eye on me, whore I'm
standing in the wings with a sacl
of peanuts in my pocket waiting fol
her to come Off. Every time she work.
over toward my side of the stage. sh'
makes little hoydenish remarks t
me in her native language. 1t ain
long until can make out everything
she says. I've been peddling the bul
too long not to be able to understand
1t when spoke by native.
For upwards Of two months thing
goes along Just beautiful. Then VI
strikes . town out in Illinois wher
buoinASs amt what It used to be. 1
Indeed It ever was Along about tn
kmiddla Of tho week tho young feale
Evening star., 1921-05-01

! they can pass 'cm out: and there's a
long line, mainly kids, at the box Office.
| l goes on in and takes a fash at the
| front of the house through the peephole
| in the curtain. and the place is already
jam full. If there's one kid out there
| there's thousand, and every tiny tot
| has got sack of peanuts c!utched in
| his or her chubby fist. as the case may
be. And say, listen. there's smell In
the air like prairie fire running
ton.
81 GOES to where Emily is hitched'
and she's weaving to and fro on
her legs and watering at the mouth
until she just naturally can't control her
own riparian rights. She's done smelt
that smell. too
"'Honcy gal l says to her, it
shore looks to me like you're due
to get your fullupances of the sue
culential ground-pea of the sunny
southland this day.
me, but / ducks. All through her
| turn she dribbles from the chin like
Il defective fire hydrant, and l can
tell that she amt got her mind on
her business. She's too busy think
| ing about peanuts. When she's got
/
manager leaves the curtain up and
Emily steps back behind a rope that
| a couple Of the hands stretches acrosSt
| the stage. with me standing on one
side Of her and Windy on the other;
and then couple more hanus shoVes
a wooden runway acrosst the orchestra
| rail down into one of the side aisles
and then the house manager invites
EmiIy's young friends to march up
| the runway and acrosst over from
| l a.
will offerings to her as they pass.
| During this pleasant scene, as the
manager explains, Emilys dauntless
owner, the world-famous Professor
| Zendavesta Jordan. meaning Windy,
I will lecture on the size, dimensions,
habits and quaint peculiarities of this
| wondrous creature. That last part
suits Windy right down to the ground,
him being, as 1 told you before. the
kind of party who's never so happy as
| when he's started his mouth and gone
away and left it running.
! For maybe a half a minute after
! the house manager finishes his little
spiel. the kids sort of hang back. Then
the rush starts; and take it from me-
{! little one. it's some considerable rush
Here they come up that runway-tiny
dots in blue. and tiny dots in red. and
tiny dots in white; tiny dots with
their parents. guardians or nurses
and tiny tots without none: tiny tots
] InaL dTc DcSlllutH6 " OuI6io" Siic
;tiny tottering stage, and other varf-
eties Of tiny tots too numerous to men
tion. And clutched in each hand is a
bag Of peanuts, five-cent size or ten.
cent size, but mostly five-cent sise
AS Emily sees 'em coming, she smiles
until she looks in the face like one OF
these here old-fashioned red-brick
Colonial fireplaces. with an over.
grown black Christmas stocking
hanging down from the center of the
up comes the first and fore
most Of the tiny tots. The Sanity
Claus stocking reaches out and an
} ne1es tho free-will offering. There's
faint crunching sound; that there
sack Of peanuts has went to the bourne
; from out which no peanut, up until
that time, has ever been known to re-
turn; and Emily is smiling benevolent.
Evening star., 1921-05-01

IRWIN S. COBB Is One of the Most Popular
L Writers of Fiction in America Today-His
Yarns Are Out of the Usual Run of Newspaper
Fiction; They Are Treat for the Lover of
Good Stories-There Is Laugh in Every Line
of The Bull Called Emily
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1921-05-02
ItlGcstiell r19Et.r

Liucatioll Clo%t7r
Commissioner Coleman has HrcugSi
The ccntcar 10 inc attention q Hoc>
ms Hart, State Superintendent OF
FubIic instruction, undressing ao9r
nm the Importance Of better IN
derstandiGg Of highway prooieliis III
Virginia. The Commissioner sa'1
he believed great deal of good could
be accomplished IN TINS 7say oy hrng
inc the problems Of road constiuc-
ten and highway transport te ttle
attention OF young people and the'r
PARENTS and interesting their lHtsll!-
gent interest in the work be,ng done
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1921-05-02

attorney, today ! 0.irele~s message
9,te 4. A p 2 Is froa e cristeOssa said
thar tas5toos. s'adsafgi j. y ,o3S5so j.,
aca ~ i ;t 5,; /, b 5:fsre55s E
trade Industrial qr?onF. and tie Third
1uternatloaalss { = :
i, IND ,a&ssasgsTs aS;ssa isa$ss III Ess
xo oaat @dtlrl ss5i { tSIe tNfsd
states after .tts -ee.tsr?n5e AID i:
! vas expected IN fl;: e g Na$ti!a 4.
,,.,.- r. e 3,,t ~, III
srul at leayenwurrh Tor violation Of
the espionage taNT
Further word was expected from
Haywood, Mr.. Christensen sold. lie
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1921-05-02


fered by H. S. FJrestone, OF Akron.
rhia, at the request d, the bigh""ai'''
Transport Education Committee q:
he Department OF Agriculture, II.
icntest will be open until June =,
Or the closing Of the high schools T
each locality.
Essays from each state Will DC
n,dged by committee to te namel
by the State superintendent Of pub,
lie instruction. The best essays in
each State will be forwarded to Wash
imgton and the national winner de-
.:ded by committee TO be appointed
oy United States Commissioner Of