The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1921-11-30

I'm riteing this account of Brother Laddie;
You oughta see-he' got the sweetest smile!
He talks bout Chrismus all the time. But
Daddy
He amt had no work for quite awhile
And he keeps tellin' me | must be cheerful
And be a brave girl and l mustn't cry
For Laddie's sake becuz he's sorta fearful
That this year mebbe you will pass US by.
Deer Sanity, please, you mustn't think I'm
tryin'
To tell you something so that you win bring
A gift to me but / will feel like Cryin'
If Laddie he don't get a single thing!
AS for US bigger folks, you needn't mind us
But if you got a toy you want to give
To Laddie and you don't no how to find US
Just ask The Argus whereabouts we live.
AN idea (bangiD occurs to US at this mo-
ment. You may recall our m. o. ]. successful
solicitation of subscription funds for the Poor
as He'll farmer. You do? Well, he wasn't
nearly so deserving as The Argus Santa Claus.
The IDEA is this: With every typed or
written contribution to this Fount of FacetiR
we shall expect to receive beginning at once)
a financial offering for. our reVered Mas Santa
Claus fund. Naturally, when a jeu d'esprit is
accompanied by cash we shall feel obliged to
print it Verbum sap
One thing more. In the P. as H. campaign
we limited contributions to five cents each; in
the Santa Claus campaign the sky is the limit
And the bigger the contribution the bigger
the blessing. =. We trust we shall not have
to remind you Of this again.
FROM the Wake of the News in the Chicago
Tribune we clip this:
Dear Wake: 20. would some power
gle US the gift to see ourselves as ithers
see u.s."
20 wad some pow'r the giftie gle us" that
a misquotin' faults wad lea'esus!
HOW WOULD FOUR ACES DO?
Mac: Consider the word t'chirOpractic' It
&c T11ri6 Jn Cf tur0 words T1a9 nJnO 'fha arff11
use of the hands. In tonights Argus there IS
a story relating how a chiro student gypped
a retired farmer out Of S2,5C0. Where can
I get a set of them there now artfuI hands?
WHILE we are considering divers matters
let us pause to consider the case of Mary
Merry of Moline who has just been granted a
decree of divorce from John Merry. Mebbe
'twere best to deal with this complex problem
in rime. AS, frinstance:
MARY MERRY VS.. JOHN MERRY.
John Merry met a fairy
And the fairy's name was Mary
All this occurred about eight years ago
Will you marry me, dear Mary?'
Asked John Merry. Then why larry?
If you'll marry Merry, Mary, then viii life be
merry, o."
So our Mary married Merry
And in time 4 Merry fairy
Came to make the Aierrys merrier then they'd.
ever been before.
Haps they called the fairy Cherry.
Or mayhap they named it Larry
"a point on which this merry bard is ignorant
and more).
Soon John Merry grew contrary
And abused his Mary Merry.
Now Mary Merry didn't marry him for that of
course;
So she pinned the grand raspberry
On this mOrplOn, John Merry,
AND the merry Merrys' marriage soon was
marred by a divorce.
|
THEN consider the Rev. Gideon Olson of
woodruff, Ill, who declared that young people
or his church who take part in a musical com
edy, The Love Nest, would be forgetfnl of
their teachings.
Well, of course it will be bad if they forget
OUT a pair Of good prOmpters in the wings will
DO much to insure the success of the show.
~Ihe Error, Watson, May Be typographical
But 1t Looks Serious
lFrom The August
MISS Bernice Sohn Of Davenport, son
or August Sohn Of New Hampton, Iowa,
and George M. Kern, son of Mrs. Mar
saret Kern of $50 Forty-second street
were married yesterday morning at IL
o'clock -.
FROM the Peoria Journal we CLEAN the
rather startling ormat that Edward s
Bailey is president of the Illinois Fedaration
of Women's Clubs.
How, we wonder, did he put it over Can
II be that Edward is an undiscovered Jnlian
Eltinge? III"