The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1921-04-29

''You can take your cigars home and |
feed them 10 your COW. IL you would |
give that beast enough to eat, she
wouldn't be forever breaking Into my
hack yard and eating the washing of
the ciothesline. The other day, ]
spent several hours cleaning up lot
of my old neektles. went over them
with gasoline and made them as good
as new, and then hung them on the
line to dry out. Your COW came over
and ate every blamed one OF them,
for the ties were gone when | went
out for them, and could see her
tracks along under the clotheslin@ II
you want to make her feel comfort
able. you ought to give her handful
OF bone collar buttons and a few
stickplns Those necktles must feel
lonesome down In her old sheet iron
stomach.
II don't want any presents from my
neighbors when / am celebrating
birthday or any other occasion. Last
Christmas Bigelow came over and
said he had just received some fine
cigars from a friend of his who had
stolsle ranch down In Cuba. Only
kings and emperors ever had such
smokes, he saId for the tobacco OF
which they were made was never put
on the market, but supplied TO u few
private customers among the crowned
heads. took the cigars and thanked
Bigel0w IN all the languages ut my
command, and made up my mind that
he was q pretty good fellow, after
ALI
''In the afternoon, ] went down to
the postotiice, smoking one Of those
royal cigars. II certainly was rich.
few friends were standing with me
IN the lobby, and began telling them
OF having received present OF some
cigars OF the sort reserved for the
crowned heads. felt pretty good
over Il, and the other fellows were
envious, for the best they had were
the two-fers you get at the grocery
store. just when was all swelled
up, and enjoying myself like d hired
man at the fair, that c,gar went on,
There was spiral spring about q
yard long compressed into II, and
when the cigar burnt up certain
distance, II was released and flew
out with whlr On this occasion II
hit Absalom jerks In the eye. He's
hasty sort Of man, and he just nat
urally landed one on my nose before
he had time to reflect that wasn't
to blame.
u don't think ever felt as silly
as / did, standing there with TIRES
feet OF twisted wire dangling from my
mouth, and my nose pushed out o,
alignment, Those fellows had beer
talking TO seemed TO think Il wal
mighty funny, and the way the,
whooped around was disgusting Flo
three weeks after that, every man
tuet wanted to know II the crowne'
heads had sent me any more cigars
and was arrested twice for disturb
ing the peace.
Something Of that sort happen
every time you fellows begin to tax
a fatherly interest In me. Fessede
came over one day aud said that th
great problem of the age was sayln
fuel. Most OF our money goes up th
chimney, he said. Fortunately, b
was on friendly terms with u grei
eastern scientist who had inyente
a powder that could save fuel. an
this scientist had sent him some, an
he wanted TO throw handful In Il
IRE, and the coal would burn twi'
as long. threw some into the kitchs
stove. and ! haven't found all u
pieces get one Of the oven doc
nust have been blOwn 80 high IL new
came down. SO / tell you, i dot
want any present from you, III 81
whatever ! need