davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Arizona republican., 1921-04-24
DID YOU KNOW THAT

A guest room is not complete with cut some good reading matter?
 Small seeds can be easily planted er sowing them through salt shaker with large holes or empty talcum- can with perforated top?
 II sugar for cake is coarse, beating Up eSgs and sugar together over hot water will dissolve the sugar?
Arizona republican., 1921-04-24
pRoFiTEERING? WELL

Officials of a department store in Sacramento recently advertised in local papers that on a certain day they would devote the entire space in one of their display windows to an exhibit of the goods in which the store was profiteering. The day ar rived. Crowds of women found the window empty.
Arizona republican., 1921-04-24
DIVIDED ON NEW BLUE

Chicago is divided as to the popu larity Of the new Harding blue. The Erneral opinion is that the blue will De Tar more attractive on blonds than on hrnnets It is a radiant shade. deeper than Alice blue.
Arizona republican., 1921-04-24
TAKE THESE TIPS:

To Keep Your Automobile Tn Trim
 Drain the vacuum tank regularly, so the fuel will be pure
 Avoid sudden stops. quick starts, jerks and skidding. They're hard on springs and tires
 Repair the little cuts in tires regu- larly-the tires life will be pro- longed.
 Scrape battery terminals clean, to keep the current flowing freely and avoid short circuits.
 Don't speed the engine while cold. It means partial ignition of the gas which may result in excessive carbon, fouled plugs and burned out bear ings.
Arizona republican., 1921-04-24

HOBBY HORSE BARBER
 Several eastern department stores have established hobby horse" bar Der shops to make hair cutting less objectionable to children.
Arizona republican., 1921-04-24
TO MAKE A CORK FIT

If a cork is too large for a bottle. soak it Yin boiling water. 1t will be-
 come so soft that you canNsqueeze it into the bottle neck without difficulty.
Arizona republican., 1921-04-24

II has been a long. long time since we could offer srych a value as this. But ! we bought these tables from manufacturer who had a surplus. They are made Of hard wood. stained and vanished, and solidly constructed Tn every detail
The Washington times., 1921-05-29
HUMAN NATURE.

w. L. Huffman Is right when ne
ssys that many Of us who stay away
from funerals will run half across
tewn to see a big FIRE. That is hu-
man nature. Human nature Graves
excitement and dislikes gloom. Fun
erals are gloomy and devoid of ex-
element. but nres are bright and de-
lightfully exciting. How excited we
become when we hear the alarm OF
the fre bell! We will even get out
of a warm bed on a bitter cold night
and seek the scene OF trouble. And ~
some poor wretch happens to get
burned out OF house and home, how
eloquent do we wax in our express
sions OF sympathy and pity; but. oh.
how disappointed and dlsrusted we
do feel " II turns out to be a fslso
alsrrn' We then say, "Oh. pshswl II
was only a false alarm; people ought
TO be arrested for turning In faiSs
aiarma-" Y. J. SCHWA
The Washington times., 1921-05-29
BERRY. BERRIES. BILL.

COLLIDE NJ. T. contributes that oil
but. witty letter written by Jones q
Berry, when the latter Forwarded
ahead OF time a bill for a barrel o
cranberries. 1t follows:
Dear Sir:
You certainly were a goose,
Berry, to sen me the bill for the
cranberries before il was due.
Berry. Your dealings are mighty
black. Berry. but your scheme 10
thin as null, Berry suppose
these words on your feelings will
rasp. Berry, and maybe you'll feel
blue. Berry. when cancel my or
der for coffee. Berry. but I don't
give a straw, Berry. Your father.
the elder Berry. would not have
been so hasty. JONES.
The Washington times., 1921-05-29
MORE MUSIC FOR WASHINGTON.

/ certainly agree with JOE CONK-
LIN that there should be more band
music for Washington As the Ma
tional Capital. to which thousands OF
strangers come, the Government
should have daily concerts all the
year round. Music is the key to
happiness.
We have entirely too much OF jazz
No soul has ever been stirred to
sweet and happy thoughts by Jazz.
1t does seem to me that the
theaters could decrease the amount Of
jazz by offering better selections.
When the musicians OF the nation
meet in Washington ] should like 10
see them do something to rid Wash
ington OF the oversupply OF trashy
music being furnished.
EAMON o SUILLEABHAIN
The Washington times., 1921-05-29
HoMELY GIRLS: HOME BREW.

Browsing around in the City
Library, FRED VETTER ran across
an old ''ladys book" containing 1000
recipes and hints for making homeIy
girls look lovelier II represented rs
years OF labor by Mrs. Sarah Jane
Pierce, OF Tifin, Ohio. printed in 1890
Fred thinks that a book containing
1000 recipes. hints and aids for home
brews would command more atten-
ton
The Washington times., 1921-05-29

We know what pessimists and op-
timists are, but what do they call
the lad who constantly grumbles,
"All women look good-far or" bat
who is always found in "A" row at
the buriesque show?
HARPER'S FERRY.
The Washington times., 1921-05-29
FLORENCE NIGHTINGALE.

In an old scrap book HENRY
SMITH found this couplet about the
famous singer from the pen OF Edwin
Arnold:
It's good that thy name springs
From two OF earths fair things
A stately city and a soft-voiced bird.
Ills well that In all our homes
When thy sweet story comes
And brave eyes MI, that pleasant sounds
are heard
The Washington times., 1921-05-29
STYLES AND COSTS.

styles enhancing:
Prices galsvanting:
Creations worth while:
They sure cost a pile:
Fur coats divine:
Sure do look fine:
Light vests galore:
The price makes you sore:
Gray spats alone
Cost more than a bone.
A tight cakie coat
Gets any mans goat.
Price advancing.
Keeps us all prancing.
~ isn't worth while
To keep up in style.
After a war comes reconstru elton,
There are things you can buy
But at little deduction.
BENNIE BENSON.
The Washington times., 1921-05-29
TYPEwRITERs.

"a typewriter Is one who type
writes on the typewriter. and the type.
writer Is machine on which the
typewriter who typewrites on tho
typewriter typewrites. Nov he type
writer who typewrites on the type
writer typewrites on the typewriter
antil there is no more typewriting TO
the typcwriter on which the type
writer who typewrttes on the type
writer typevr!tea- n z. ".
The Washington times., 1921-05-29
ANTIQUITIES.

DEAR BILL:
We really ought to have some
thing in the G. o. c. on antiqui-
ties. know an antique dealer
who recently sold an old lady a
car token. claiming that ii was
the same one used by Paul Revere
when he rode from the Union Sta
ton to the Chevy Chase Club.
Another bought a piece CT a saxa-
phone that Nero played.
GAITHERSBURG LIZ.
The Washington times., 1921-05-29
THE INTELLIGENT MARINE.

Ohicer of the Day-Know your spe-
cial and general orders?
Devil Dog Senuy-Yes, SIR.
o. DIFF you saw a battleship come
out the river and start across the
parade ground, what would you do?
d. ID. Sentry-Call the sergeant OF
the guard to send me to Sick Bay
for mental observation.
o. D.-Correct. Resume your
guard. JoEC.
The Washington times., 1921-05-29
SPAGHETTI ETIQUETTE.

rs time the authorities Of ~
and s settled the etiquette Of
spaghetti ard yakima eating. Is
II proper 10 let long pieces slo,rIy
slide do,on 10 their doom or shosld
pow cut into tiny pieces ard
vast cdto before stcoiIoriros
Everybody knors that ChinameN
stow pdkimd array nth ohop-sfioks,
~ his cooking - rood enough for
the public 10 no doGy about phy
isn't his style Of teediro 10 be fol-
louedf NOODLE DOG.
The Washington times., 1921-05-29
THE ARTISTS STUDIO.

Weary-Want a good model" boss?
I'm bird" at posin'.
Artist don't paint "birds"-cniy
fruits and flowers.
weary-Well. den. try my fren' Jim.
my here. He's a peach.
JULES BACK
The Washington times., 1921-05-29
THE MODERN ANSWER.

The stout man gave the little boy
who had been carrying his valise a
Scent piece. and receiving no thanks.
inquired: Now, what ought a little
boy say when a gentleman gives him
a nickel for carrying a bag"
Little Boy-"Tain't enough"
L. o s.
The Washington times., 1921-05-29
THE BOLsHY.

bloody. blooming bolshevik.
Whose hands are full of blisters
tFrom throwing bombs)
stops and spits a brick.
While the wind blows thru his whiskers
(Which are uncombed)
EDWARD ]. IRVINE
The Washington times., 1921-05-29
WHO MAKES THE q. O. c.,
THE SPIRIT OF the COLUMN

s"E SEtnbI UT I'VE ZULU NV
DICK MANsFIELD's drawing
to-day. "BilI's Greatest show ON
Earth" In . humorous cartcature
81 eentrtbs to Heard and Seen,
named by thousands OF readers
~The Grand Old Column and the
sGreatest Column On Earth
And Heard and Seen IL n great
column, for IL IL not the product
81 ONE man nor Of ONE woman.
Its greatness has been made by
thoosaRds 81 voluntary contribu-
tors. each creating or seek n3
GeHs Of richest fun, clean non
sense, bright and witty poetry.
problems, pusxles, ETC., all for the
sake Of THEIR column.
Some enc occasiOnally inqUfrest
~De ! have to pay 10 get some
thing In the rolumnf'' The answer
IL NO. Barrels Of money could
not buy q line In this fun column
- THE PEOPLE. The only re-
Suirement IL that articles or items
shall measure up to the clean and
wholesome spirit Of the column.
There are contributors who be-
come dfspirtted when their
articles are not printed, but some
~ the best writers to the column
are those who were often turned
down hut kept coming hack until
they .delivered the goods" Often
eeRtr buttsa are rejected be-
cause similar ones have already
Been printed.
As far ~ possible ORIGINAL
contributions are desired, hut
there are tkousands of TOPICS
which never grow old and which
eas he freshened under the witty
touch Of con trfbs.
Don't let "sprinG fever and the
lure Of the outdoors take your
winds away from the G. o. q.
IL you expect the column To re-
main NJ . standard. PUT YOUR
WITS To WORK FOR 1T.
The Washington times., 1921-05-29

There was young man from Peru.
who thought he knew how to home brew
Two kegs were brewed.
But he couldn't get stewed,
So j don't think he did. do your
JAR,
The Washington times., 1921-05-29
THE THoUGHTFUL CROCODILE.

Consider now the crocodile:
He lies in one place all the while
And seems BY, thought unvext
In truth. he's calm through concentration !;
He seeks. with intense cerebration,
To answer this Interrogation:
which eye shall I wink next"
@. INA FRJEkE.
The Washington times., 1921-05-29
THE WOMAN OF LIT.

He-Darling. j would love you until
the crack of doom II we could live
that long.
She-And would you love me- until
the crack of doom was mended?
r. J. SCHWAB.
The Washington times., 1921-05-29
Full and running over-many a
young lady's shoe.
CHEERUPADIST.
TODDLING

The turkey trot ~ out Of date,
The tango Is pssse.
The foN-trot, once so popular,
Has had lite little day
The shimmey, too, has ceased to be
The terpsichorean model
For young and old. and fat and thin
Are learning how to toddl...
A step, a stop, q threatened hop.
Another step. behold!
And forty-fve, acquires the gait
of teething one-year-oid.
Perchsnce tho breath OF sea ndal nov
May turn to infan rattle.
while favors for the dance will be
A teethins ring or rattle
wARDMAN PARK
He-She says her people had high
places In the world.
She-Yes, they used to give them
the top cells in the jsils.
HARVARD.
The Washington times., 1921-05-29
ANIMALS HERE.

These sentences by PAUL WATER
contain the names of well-known
animals:
We all study music at school.
Be, are. and IL are used a lot in
English.
What are you going to do,
George asked Mary.
Mr.. Hadwoi Freeman died last
night.
Go at i'm. boy" Frank yelled to
his bull terrier.
Roman ink II good for drawing.
Amt " agrrsvatins
Doesn't u make you mad.
when your sweeti.'s leaving
And In val0 your dadf
orBHO-f1Do CLUE
The Washington times., 1921-05-29
ELECTRICALLY SPEAKING.

Carry-Nellie's hair used to be light.
but now it's dark.
Sadie-Perhaps she turned OF the
switch. NEBRASKA.
The Washington times., 1921-05-29

The silent fool Is preferable to
the wise guy" who talks us into
betting on the wrong horse.
There Is an occasional silent fool.
FRED VET-TER
The Washington times., 1921-05-29
THE AGE OF THE STAR.

Twinkle, twinkle, little star.
How ] wonder what age you are,
Up above the footlights sheen.
Sixty four or sweet sixteen7
The Washington times., 1921-05-29
WHO rs THE GIRLf

Remove the letter -
From the word deity"
Ind IND = challenge or dare:
Nov 40 the same.
with Q certain stvi'e Mama
And zee what's hidden theTe7
The Washington times., 1921-05-29

Mary. I'll have to cut out
drinking coffee, as I can't sleep at
night any more" said the night
Waterman to his wife.
CHEERUPADIST.
The Washington times., 1921-05-29

There are some departed spirits
that you cannot summon on the
ouija board. EAMON o s.
Evening star., 1921-05-09
Rate by Mail-Fayable in Advance.
Maryland and Virginia.
Returning to the Law.

And now Mr.. Bryan. after a pro-
tractcd excursion into the fields Of
politics and sociology. returns to the
practice of law. He has again hung
out his shngln." Mr.. Wilson's cN-
ample is catching.
Mr.. Bryan is so interesting man,
and has run so interesting and dis
tingUished course. observers, in a
perfectly friendly way and spirit. somC-
times indulge in speculation about
him. Was he cut out for" the bar.
Tor politics. for reform in general ON
lay lines. or for the pulpit?
He has figured in all four fields with
much success. He was succeeding at
the bar when he turned to politics.
That he has succeeded in politics is
undeniable, although failing to reach
his goal-the presidency. That he is
a distinguished influence in reform
circles is equally as plain fact. And
now and then he has spoken in
churches with an effect which pulpit
orators have confessed.
Mr.. Bryan return to the bar comes
at a time when the law beckOns most
invitinGly. Disputes. about domestic
as we'll as foreign affairs. are multi
plying. There is abundant business
for men educated for court procedure.
International law in particular was
never before so promising of reward
for those olIaljficd hy study and eX-
perience to follow its course and in
trica cieS.
The Washington bar has had three
notable accessions in a short time
Robert Lansing, Woodrow Wilson and
now William j. Bryan. Mr.. Lansing
returned after an absence of several
years spent in the State Department.
AS a lawyer, he is not making his
debut in town.
Evening star., 1921-05-09
TIE School Needs.

All the information that is gained
by III" Senate District subcommittee
regarding the needs Of the local school
system goes to The point If cmphasiZ,
ing The ucyd uf The appropriation ask
cl for by the Commissioners in thrN
To nearly $2.OG0.n00, Just submitted to
the House Of Representatives The
hone is that the House is taking
coSniZlNcc Of the investigation. which
Of more schools, the enlargement Of
existing buildings and the erection of
new ones.
The most conservative estimates of
of about 5000 900 OF this amount the
Commissioners are now asking $1,000
600 on account. including an item nf
SIC, 900 for a site 70" a public library
branch in southeast Washington. The
District has far more than is enough
to its credit in the Treasury awaiting g
appropriation. II the surplus is drawn
upon for these school extension needs,
on the equitable basis Of equal Dis
trict-federal contribution. in accord
ance with the original terms of tax
collection. there will be much more
than enough to meet the whole Dis
triCt school bill.
There is no more urgent need today
than that of the schools. In every
grade and every part of the city con.
Sestion is felt. The buildings. large
and small, are Overcrowdcd. The
classes are too big for effective teach
ing. The children are not getting ade,
receiving full benefit from even its
present investment in school equip
ment. And next year the conditions
will be worse. The city is CROWN z
and the school population will be
larger by several thousand twelve
months hence. The improvements now
contemplated under the supplementary
estimates will not be availa bic for an.
other year at the earliest.
1t is not determined how the supple
mentary estima tes will be worked into
appropriation law, whether by sepa
rate bill or by addition to another
measure. But in whatever form il is
enacted, it should be made one of the
assured items Of a special order for
this session and as early in the ses-
sion as possible to enable the District
to begin the work at once upon these
greatly needed extensions.
Evening star., 1921-05-09

ground. and then it performed cart
Wheel and was wrecked. The pilot
escaped with only a few scratches.
This was one of the most spectacular
of all accidents witnessed in this COun-
try. 1t was due to instability at the
moment of landing. Perhaps it was a
case Of bad management.
In contrast to these mishaps yes
its journey from New York to Chi
cage, carrying five people and some
freight. 1t left New York Saturday
morning and made Chicago by the
middle of Sunday afternoon. having
stopped over night in Cleveland.
Will, this is not fast flying. it is Il
demonstration of the possibility Of
luxury airpaning and opens the vista
Of actual cross country long distance
flights for commercial and passenger
purposes. The present problem is to
maintain u dependable engine perform
incc on long runs. EXp"rimenters are
now 1T work on the provision of re-
Scrv" engine power without over
WciGhtin% the machine. If this can be
ST. that planes can be
driven for thousand mile laps without
stops and assured of safe landing
points the passenger plane will have
become Il real factor Of life today.
Evening star., 1921-05-09
Executive Sessions.

Another case has developed on Cap
itol Hill bearing directly on the propo-
sition TO dispense with the executive
sessions of the Senate.
The Presidents selection for the Of
fee of commissioner of internal
revenue has been challenged. The Of
flee is an important one. The appointee
is of prominence in his state, and he
mustered support for the place out
side of his state.
The challenge comes from a mem
her of the Senate-Nr. Johnson of
California. 1t is based in part on
grounds political and in part on other
grounds. II was sufficient to halt
confirmation. and to secure an order
for an investigation.
The Senate finance committee has
the investigation in hand, and, copy
ing senatorial procedure-in fact in.
structed to do so-locks its doors.
And yet the nature of the charges is
public property, and a summary of
the testimony given at the first so,
called executive session of the com
mittee was published in yesterday s
newspapers.
Such being the case, is there any
good reason why the rest Of the in.
vestigation should be conducted be
hind closed doors, or the Senate close
it's doors when the committees report
is taken up by that body for debate
and a vote? On the contrary, do no,
the Importance of the office and the
high standing of the appointee advise
the fullest publicity in the disposition
Of the appointment?
Cases may arise, especially in the
matter of treaties, when secrecy as tc
details should be preserved. But they
are provided for in the proposition o.
Senator Harrison opening the doors as
rule for the transaction Of what il
as much public business, and very i'm
portant business. as any other bushes!
coming before the Senate.
Evening star., 1921-05-09
The Limit of Noise.

Everybody loves IL circus parade.
To old and young, the flavor Of the
grand procession" that prOclaimS the
arrival Of the 'greatest aggregation
and the lesser assemble ges of Won
dcrs and curioSties and demonstrators
OF skill, makes strong appeal. But
there Is one item of this traditional
feature that draws heavily upon the
public patience. That is the "caliopc. -
with its boots and howlS and gruane
and screams. 1t is bad at hest hut
when 1t is out Of tune it is one of the
worst intiictionS that can be imposed
upon the public ear. T0day's parade
contained perhaps the worst of these
ever heard. There was not one note
in its scale that was true. 1t was a
sounds. Its progress Down PcnnSyI-
yania avenue disclosed the fact that
such matters. Should not every circus
caliiOpe that comes TO town be sub
jected TO official test, before granting
a permit to parade? Truly, the walls
of that which blasted its way through
Washington TODAY should stir some Of
fetal action to prevent future horrors.
Evening star., 1921-05-09
Cutting the Corners.

a striking illustration of the diff
Guilty Of contining pedestrian traffic to
the lines Of safety was afforded this
morning at the corner of Pennsylvania
avenue, 18th and d streets, where, at
an awkward junction. there are nu-
merOus divergent streams OF travel.
Police department workers set out to-
day to mark off certain safety lanes,
with standards and ropes and paint
lines to indicate very clearly where the
people should walk and where the
vehicles should be driven. Yet less
than half Of the pedestrians held to
the marked lines even while the work
was in progress and attention was
thus sharply drawn to the fact that
these lines and ropes were designed to
promote safety. The habit of cutting
corners is 80 firmly fixed that people
Evening star., 1921-05-09
Airplane Mishaps and Progress

A giant airplane, the largest in this
country, capable Of carrying forty
passengers, was smashed at the out
set Of its first trial trip yesterday
at Milwaukee. The machine rose
III the carly morning for the
first flight i'll a trip from Mil
waukee to New York, carrying four
passengers. AT the end Of its taxi run
of about 500 feet, the limit of the field.
il rose from the ground in u confined
space with Instructions from which it
could not be Stc"rcd. One wins: struck
the tip Of Il tree and then a telegraph
pole, and the giant plane crashed to
the ground. All the occupants ESCAPED.
The machine was damaged to the ex-
tent Of about $4,000.
This accident is attributed to the
smallness Of the field. 1t is evident
that if airpla ming Is to be adapted to
passenger carrying on Il large scale
landing spaces of magnitude must be
provided. 1t is not yet possible TO
space. Some progress has been made
in this country and in France with
the helicopter, or vertically rising ma,
chine. but that device has not yet
been perfected TO the point Of practical
use.
Yesterday at Mitchell Field, y. Y, a
machine in landing was caught in a
pun of wind which caused it to tilt
i.larply, so that one wing touched the
Evening star., 1921-05-09
Mothers Day Profteering

Yesterday was Mothers day Every
in memory and in honor Of the mother.
This is Il beautiful custom. worthy Of
the most extensive observance and
cncoura cement. But here and there
is disposition to profit by it. In
some places dealers in flowers have
taken advantage of the occasion to
raise their rates. They should, in
truth, lower them to encourage the
general practice of this sentiment.
Up in Mount Vernon. n. Y. this con.
dition developed and the people re-
sented it. Instead of buying flowers
to wear they went out to the fields
and lawns and picked dandelions and
wore them.
Proftecrins Of this kind is particl,.
larly mean The people resent it bit.
tcrly. 1t is not 80 much a question
Of what the flower costs as it is the
fact that extOrtiOn is practced in the
name Of one of the most beautiful OF
sentiments. Instead of higher price
on Mothers day, the prevailing rate
for single flowers should be lower
than ever. If this annual occasion is
to endure and continue this sort OF
protitccring must cease.