The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1921-01-13
Memoirs Of a
Yellow Dog

u ~AAO" 80
fcopwsohs. 1870. ~ the whoci~
Syndicate. Iwcj
I don't suppose n Win knock any
Of you peopie Off your perch TO
rad a contribution FROM an animal.
Mr. Kip,lng and good many eth
err have demonstrated sbs met that
animals can express Themselves In
rrmuneratfvs English. sDA No mag.
azins goes TO prns nowadays vffh.
out an animal story 10 n, except
tho oidsfyio monthiics inst an stiii
running pictures of Bryan and the
Mont pei~s horror.
Hut. yvu ne~dn't Seeh for any
stuokup literature In my piece-
such N nearoo. the bear. and
snahoo. the snake. ana Tnnmanco.
the tiger. talk In tho jungle books.
A yellow dog that's spent most OF
his life In a cheap New York fiat
sleeping In q corner on an old
nateen undor-hirt rhc ono she
spilled port vino on at the Lady
'Longshowmcn's banquet. mustn't
bo expected 20 perform any tricks
with the art OF speech.
was horn a yellow pup: date.
locality. pedigree and weight I'M
known The firt thing can
II Al al ~
In basket at broadway and card
trying To sell me 10 "a tat lady.
Old Mother Hubbard was boosting
me to beat the hand an a genuine
| pomeranlnn-ffam Red Irish
Cochin China. sitokefogis FOX ter
riar. The fat lady chased . V
around among the samples Of Eros
grain f1anneieife IN her shopping
bag TN abe oorn~rd ~. and gave
up. From that moment I Was =
pet--a mammals own wootrcy squid-
luna Hay. gentle reader. DID you
ever have . pound woman.
breathing q flavor Of Cam~mb~rt
cheese and rcau fF.sraEn~. pick
you up and waiiop her nose all
over you. rcrnarking all tho time
Ia an Fnma F.lmca tone az voice:
''oh. eos urn oodium. doodlum.
wooilum. toodium. bltsy~itsy
akoodiuma-'
Prom podlrrr~d yellow PUP !
grew up 10 10 an anonymous ycl-
low cur looking like cross BE-.
tween an AnGora cat and q bon
Of lemons But my mistress never
tumbiet shc thought that the
two prlrnsvA pups that Noah
fchased into tho ARK voro but a
collateral branch Of my ancestors.
II took two policemen TO keep her
frum entering mo Al tho Madison
SQUARE Garden for the Siberian
bloodhound prtxa
IN ten you about shst fiat
The house was the ordinary thing
In New York. paved with parian
marble In tho entrance hall and
cobolestoncs above tho firri floor.
our flat was 'hrre-wcli. not
fiiEhts-eiimin W. My mistress
rented Il unfurniahcdA and put In
tho regular things-i,oa antique
upholsiercdr parior set. oil chrome
of gclshas In a Harlem tea house,
rubber plant and husband.
BY s.rius' there was hgpcd I
felt sorry for. Iic was little
man with sandy hair and ~hiskcrA
a COED deal like mine. Hsnpeckcdf
we'll. toueana and flaminRocs and
pelicans all had thrir bills ON him.
He wipci the dishes and listened 20
my mistress tell about the cheap.
ragRrd things the lady with ,hr
1 sduirreiskln coat on the second
floor hung out on her limo To dry.
And every evening while abe was
getting supper she made him TAXI
me out on tho ond OF a string for
a walk.
III men kn~w how women pass the
Time when they arc alone. they'd
never marry. Laura Lean Jibbey
peanut brittle. a little almond cream
on tho neck -snuacles dishes un
washed. half an hours talk with the
lceman. reading n package OF old
letterE. couple OF pickles and two
bottles Of mai, extract. one hau,
In the window shade into IN. fla,
across the air shaft---thht'a about ali
there Ia 10 IL. Twenty minutes be
fore time for him 20 come home from
work she Strengthens up the house
fixes her rat ~ II wos't show. and
gets out lot Of sewing for 10
minute bluff.
led dogs life In that fiat. Mos,
all day ] lay there an my corner
watching that fat woman kill time
slept sometimes and bad pipe
dreams about being out chasing cats
into Easements and growing at old
ladies' with black mittens ss a dor
was intended TO do. Then she would
pounce upon me with q lot Of that
dwelling poodle palaver and kiss
me on the nose--but what could
dor A dog can't chew cloves.
/ II began 10 feel sorry for hubby.
dog my cats II I didn't We looked
50 much alike that people noticed !,
/ when we went out: so we shook the
streets that Morgnn's cab drives
down. and took TO climbing the piles
OF last Decembcr's snow on the
streets wherc cheap people live.
One evening when we were thus
promenading, and I was trying 10
look like n prize st. Bernard. and
the old man was trying 10 look like
ne wouldn't have murdered the first
organ grinder he heard play Men.
delssohn's wedding March," I look
ed up al him and said. In my own
way.
What are you looking 80 sour
about. you oakum trimmed lobster
She don't kiss you. You don't have
TO sit on her lap and listen TO tail,
that would make the book OF q
t.i1ts.il.nI cnI.acL.. ua.lI.A ILL., L.. -.