Mohave County miner and our mineral wealth., 1921-06-03

the model visitor. If I had my own household, with charming bride to pour the imitation coffee, and vine and figtree in a jardiniere, I'd send special delivery letter to James, ask Ing him to come and stay for ten years or more.
 "There's something restful and soothing about that gifted man. He never bothers anybody. No one has to waste precious moments entertain ing him. It isn't necessary to discuss the weather predictions, or dig up a lot of statistics about the crops, in order to make James have,a good time. You don't have to show him the old plush photograph album, and describe the ancestry of the melancholy ef1gles whose pictures appear therein. Near ly all visitors are bores, my dear Mrs. Jiggers, because they have to be en- tertained. Somebody has to sit up with them and thrash out last years gossip. They have no initiative or referendum. They have no resources of their own. In order to have a pleas ant visit, they need help.
 ''Your cousin James is a man after my own heart. I remember his last visit quite we'll. He came in the eve ming, and after supper he took a chair on the porch. Knowing he was guest, felt 1t my duty to entertain him in the conventional way. I syro oypaH v,,y ohofr olnoa nm tn hic and remarked that 1t was pleasant eve ming, but the presence of cloud bank in the northwest almost convinced me that there would be rain within twelve hours, in which case, I proceeded, there would be much jubilation among the honest old farmers, whose crops were suffering for moisture.
 "James listened to my remarks and then looked at me, in sad, reproach- ful way, as though he thought 1t a shameful thing that imbeciles should be at large, and then he took his chair to the opposite end of the'porch with out having said a word. must con- fess that I felt like a counterfeit kopeck for a few minutes, but the more I considered the matter, the more I admired and respected that remarkable man.
 'He used to go downtown every morning and buy paper backed novel, or a fiction magazine, and then he'd read 1t all day, and when he was done with his literature he left 1t where the boarders could get 1t. I didn't hear him say ten words during his visit, yet you say, Mrs. Jiggers, that he is an unsatisfactory guest. Elderly landladies, whose intellects have been warped by long years of parsimony. are hard to please.
 Jeremiah, whom you describe as jolly and agreeable, should be SUD- pressed. He has collected all the old cheesey stories ever manufactured, and insists upon telling them. He has horrible habit of making puns, and considers himself humorist, be- cause of 1t. You couldn't bribe him to sit down with book or magazine and behave himself. He has to be enter tained every minute of his time. and the only way you can entertain him is by letting him do the entertaining.
 He is genial old freak who thinks he Is privileged character and every body's pet. The last time he was here he went into my sumptuous apart ment and used my razor to shave the southeast quarter section of his countenance. His whiskers are full of barbed wire, and the razor was ruined. When I spoke to him about 1t he thought 1t funny. Yet you refer to such a man as an agreeable visi. tor. blush for you, Mrs. Jiggers."