The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1921-10-31

ALOYSIUS reports an interesting converse
ton he overheard between two savants from
were, he reports, discussing a remarkable Sc
ries of cases of original research work.. One
hundred twelve comparatively new babies had
been selected and the spines of all had been
cracked by a ClirO. Seventy-tWo per cent of
the number said ouch, 6S per cent of the
balance said "ooch' and the balance said UGH;
furthermore, it was discovered that all the
babies who said ''uch" were guilty of ''toeing
iE''.
At this point Aloysius was forced to leave
the street car, much to his regret. He won
ders if the learned gentlemen will give him
the ultimate conclusions through this Shaft of
Sapience. Later: Mrs. AIoysius telephones
to say that f. b. either misunderstood the
chiros or the chiros misunderstood the IS per
cent of babies. She is quite sure the young
sters did not say "ooch WHAT they really
the fact that a nephew threw aside his milk
battle at the age of two weeks and yelled for
brandy.
And there, as Antony cogitated after noting
that his funeral Grafton had started something
you are.
The Ten Commandments of Gasoline Alley.
Thou shalt not run over and kill thy
neighbor.
2-Thou shalt not covet thy neghbor' siau-
Eomobile any part thereof.
3-Thou shalt give thy neighbor one-half of
the road at all times.
4-Thou shalt always drive in a careful and
prudent manner.
5@Thou shalt permit thy neighbor to pass
thee on the highway when he is in a hurry.
6-Thou shalt love thy neighbours dog, his
OK. his servant and his automobile, and avoid
injury to them
Thou shalt approach railroad crossing
with fear and trembling when thy neighbor
rideth with thee.
s-Thou shalt not blind thy neighbor with
glazing lights whilst approaching him from an
oDDosite direction
9-Thou shalt not bear false witness against
thy neighbor in case of accident
10-Thou shalt always remember that there
are others as entitled as thyself to the use
Of the highway. KY.
SOME are born witty, some achieve wit and
some have wit Tor neaF-wit) thrust upon them.
We in common with other colyumists, labor
with painstaking care to evolve at least
paragraph day which will pass for wit. We
chuckle complacently when have achieved
a few lines that carry a sting for some one
And then our alleged wit is cheapened-thus:
Tother evening the Spuds dropped in for
chat and game Of "rook" After a time
r. L. W. n. [. D. o. S. arose, reTnarking that
she would make coffee for US. Little Miss
Spud a years old followed her to the kitchen
and stood watching the preparation of the
looked up and said: Don't you sink little lids
det hungry, too?" -.
The Scot is said to be witty, the Irishman
humorous. But who ever wanted to hug any
adult for his wit or humor? Verify, a little
child shall lead them.
1.-THE Negligible Bridegroom"
From the Morrison Gid Sentinel
Miss Estelle Kennedy daughter of Mr..
and Mrs. Harry Kennedy of Albany, was :
married at Clinton at o'clock Wednes-
day afternoon, accompanied by a few
relatives. a wedding supper served
at the home of aunt of the bride,
Mrs. Mary Keegan, in Clinton.
SPEAKING, as we were Saturday, of males
whos bear feminine Christian names, reminds
US to introduce to you Mr.. Bernice Wolff of
Keithsburg ILL., whose auto bumped into a
bridge banister recently because another mo-
torist violated the eighth commandment.
The Ring Service, Naturally.
IFrom the Port Byron (Ill) Globe.l
Miss Lillian Schmidt and Joseph B.
Osborn. both of Dubuque, Iowa. were
united in marriage last Saturday after
noon in the pastors study of the Fist
Baptist C Iurch. Rev. ]. c. Granger offci-
ating US ng the ring service.
WILL Mr. Frazier and his Non-Partisan
friends of North Dakota join US in a little
serenade to the new governor, Mr.. r. A. Nestos?
Very well; let Us join in singing-what?
WHAT else but go Feather Your -
R. E MG.