The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1921-05-19

aFunny, isn't it," unused Joe Ry-
nearson, chow many fishing worms
you find spading the garden and how
few when digging for bait?"
I That young man who had cards
printed announcing the birth Of a
| little son and then became the father
Of girl twins has lost faith in the
bunch.
."Some fellows are 80 ALFRED lazy"
remarked Old Bill Misgivens, "that
they ride in q hivver so they won't
have to take the trouble to shake the
ashes on their cigars"
what is it, queried the Sunday
school teacher, "that binds US togeth-
err and makes US better than we are
by nature?" "Corsets," peeped Ii
ny Tot.
=
One of the worst enemies of the
news end of the newspaper is the fell
low who manufactures hard lead PEN
ellis. Black, soft pencils make the
best copy, next to typewriter.
Church Janitor = "Say, professor,
what is it that continually wears out
the carpet in the choir loft?" Choir
Leader-T presume it's the sole stir
ring music we render"
Magistrate Ito Scotchman charged
with assault) -The most brutal at
tack / ever heard of. I've a good
mind to send you to prison for six
months" The prisoner-"Yo Gamma
dae it. l told we mon Pm only down
to London for the week"
The collector approached a member
Of the congregation and held out the
box. ~ never give to MISSIONS" he
whispered. "Then take something
out Of the box, sir" whispered the
collector, "the money is for the heath
en-"
A small boy describing Noah's life
in the ark, wrote: "Then, one morn
ing, Noah went out fishing, hut sonly
for five minutes" The teacher asked
why he had put the time limitation.
"'Cos there were only two worms"
was the reply.
A Natchez, Miss. man claims to
have trained two geese to supply his
table with fish and to show discrimi-
nation in their catch. They confine
their efforts to perch, bass and trout.
The gentleman's name is Kerr. We
suspect that his first name is 10.
Experiments have shown that a
good, yet cheap, news print paper can
be made from saw grass, which grows
abundantly along the swamps Of the
Atlantic coast. Now if some scien-
tific gent would develop cream laid
book paper from the lowly dandelion,
that despised plant might hold up its
head with pride.
About the ninth inning of an ex-
citing baseball game between the two
~ uC.1Iahadv p.,thr oo Aha
pitcher had gone rather wild and had
permitted all the bases to fill. An
other man came to the bat, and the
nervous pitcher shot one over. "Ball
one" yelled the umpire. The pitcher
tried again. "Ball two was the de-
cision. Another effort by the hurler.
Ball three" said the umpire. The
pitcher saw his predicameat and made
one master effort to save the day.
'Ball four yelled the umpire, "and
the mans out" slow come, Use
out 80 inquired the enraged batter.
"I'se repealed to put you out, Niger.
Don't you see dar's nowhere else to
put you?" reasoned the umpire.
Q q q
One reason men like dogs is be-
cause dogs are about the only animals
that have charity. Dogs know the
human race pretty well; they have
lived with human beings for countless
centuries; they have learned all about
the failings and foibles of men. And
yet they are so good natured and for
giving that they are willing to con-
tinue to associate with men on some
thing like terms Of equality. Your
dog may give you reproachful look |
now and then, when you are particu-
lariy asinine or unjust; but for the