The Washington times., 1921-02-28
BY .BUGSo BAER.

This is the first duplex interview
in which 1 have been q particeps
criminis.
That's Latin for the party OF the
first part interviews the party of
the second part and the party of
the second questions the party OF
the first
The whole operation hinges on
the plea of self-defense. And con-
stitutes a grewsome literary clinic
that should be prohibited under the
constitutional ban against crool and
unusual punishment.
In questioning Mr.. Miller, I care
fully avoided words OF more than
one syllable. At first, he said that
he would not squeal on his pals, but
after three days of grueling third
degree, he decided to turn states
evidence.
Mr.. Miller is a very modest young
man. He spends his days hiding in
front of a mirror. HE Is the author
a young mans fancy lightly turns
to thoughts of springs"
NOTICE THE MUsTACHEs.
BY especially turning a powerful
binocular on the above picture, you
will notice powerful mustaches
bursting forth on the northern lips
of the two young men. That pic
ture was taken On the roof of the
Munsey Building in March, 1913,
while President Woodrow Wilson
was triumphantly scooting up
Pennsylvania avenue on his first
inaugural parade.
We swore never to clip or those
mustaches until a Republican was
elected to clog up the White House
entrance. That would mean the
wager would reach a crisis on this
coming Friday. But, after careful
deliberation. we decided to enlarge
the bet and make it Prohibition
President This means about fifty
years more of silent agony, but will
probably give the barber chance
to see what he is clipping of.
IGNORANCE UNNECESSARY.
questioned Mr.. Miller. He knew
nothing about himself. Which is q
fairly comprehensive interview and
indicates that the questioner did
magnificently well with the poor
material he had to work on.
1t seems that Mr.. Miller was born
in as small town as possible. 1t
was in Maryland, right near where
the mighty Eastern Branch goes
raging to the sea At the age Of
six he first flashed those startling
symptoms that seemed to indicate
that he thought the Ten Command
ments were heavily overwritten.
He was a student in his youth,
and easily passed his fellow-puphs
in the Lanham Reform School He
was chosen as valedictorian OF his
graduating class and chose for his
subject, Resolved. That the Pill
grims brought liberty from Europe,
but somebody took IL back"
WAR NEARLY WRECKED HIM.
Right when Mr.. Miller had a toe
hold on the forelock of Time, the
pie OF victory turned sour on his
knife. He was forced to abandon
his career because II interfered
with his telephone calls. Then the
war broke forth and he went to Eu-
rope to doodle or to die.
He had charge OF the pink. green
and red pins on the war maps and
broke the Hindenburg line without
losing pin. He was personally
congratulated by General Pershing
and given post OF danger right
near an AK and a woodpile.
Mr.. Miller Is young man oi
charming personality and pene-
trative foresight and II IL absolute
ly certain that he will never have
to wire ahead for reservations In
Sheol. IL II a pleasure to speak
hishly OF a man like this.
In conclusion. I wish to deny
everything that he has said about
me. 1 also claim everything. con-