The Washington herald., 1921-12-26
FIRST WIFEACTS
AMAN TRAINER,
WRITES MISS DIX
Explains Why So Many
Second Marriages
Prove Successful.
By DOROTHY DIX

marriages. Widows and widowers
when they remarry seem to know
now to get along together in peace
ana amity, and you seldom hear of
nem figuring in the divorce court
yet by all the canons of romance.
0e hrst marriage should be the
IDEAL one. for 1t Is the realization
oi ioves young dream. and clothed
In romance. as middle-aged mar
riage never is.
"A nrst marriage is a summons to
SIT at the head Of the banquet table
OF love, and partake of ambrosia
and nectar. A second marriage is
scrapped-up meal of rehashed af-
tections. and warmed-over emo
IRONS yet, nevertheless. as a gen.
ersl thing the second marriage
brings people more real content
meht. and comes nearer to realiz-
ing their ideal of domestic bliss
than the first did.
This mystery has just been ex-
Pisined by the action of a man in
england who, at the end of his sec
ond wife's funeral, laid wreath
on his first wife's grave, on which
was this inscription:
To Jennie. in grateful remem-
orance of her husbands happy life
with her, which enabled him to en-
Joy such subsequent happiness with
her equally loving successor"
There You have the explanation
% the successful second marriage!
Inc nrst wife trains a man for the
wife who comes after her. She
breaks him in to matrimony, and
lucky Is the lady who can step
into another woman's old matri-
monial shoes instead Of. having to
go through the painful process of
supplfng up a stin and stubborn
masculine temperament and shap-
Ing 1t to domestic needs.
This is no reflection on men.
Practically every man has honest
and honorable intentions toward
his wife when he marries her. He
intends to be a good husband ana
10 make her happy, but he doesn't
know how to do 1t He has had no
experience Of matrimony, or with
women He is a laundering ANA
teur, and with the best will in the
world he makes fatal mistakes.
Also he enters matrimony under
three illusions. One is that after
a woman is married she becomes a
prosaic creature who is content to
stay at home, and wrestle with the
nigh cost of living. and who never
cares to be made love to. or
amused. or jollied. The second iliu.
sion Is that family can be run on
air, and requires very little money.
The third illusion is that a man
can just annex a wife to the bal
ance of his life, and does not have
to make any changes in his own
mode of existence.
His first marriage knocks all Of
these decisions into a cooked hat,
lbut before that is done the family
circle has become q dark and
bloody battle ground over which he
and his wife have fought, times
without number. The results are
that the man finds out that even
with the thriftiest of management.
supporting a family Is one OF the
most expensive luxuries in which a
man can indulge.
Experience teaches him that the
best OF women are full of whims
and prejudices, and have their lit
tie ways. and that they can be ca
joled into doing things that no
human force could drive them into
doing.
Also experience teaches him that
no man can be both bond and free,
and that when once a fellow slips
his neck into the matrimonial yoke
IL is there for keeps, and that his
wisest policy is to fnd some SIM
pie domestic remedy that will take
the sting out OF the CALLED places,
and to acquire a dexterity in avoid
ing the rough places as much as
may be.
All of this a mans first wife
teaches him. She is the trainer
who domesticates the wild man she
has caught. and trains him. figura-
lively speaking, to jump through
the hoop. and roll over. and play
dead and eat out of her hand.
No widower who marries i'm
AGNES that he is getting pin
feathered angel. He knows he is
getting a very human woman with
tears and temperament. but he gets
along with her peaceably because
me has learned to call his wife's
temper nerves, and when to reason
with her. and when to shut the
door softly behind him, and fade
away until she has had time to get
over her tantrum.
The second time a man enters the
matrimonial fold he goes not in as
n laundering fool. with no chart or
compass to guide him He has a
working specification OF the femi-
nine character. He knows that the
salve-spreader is more potent than
the hammer with women. He
knows that you can kiss a woman's
eyes shut so that she will be as
blind as bat. and that as long as
q man tells his wife that she Is the
most beautiful creature in the
world. and grows younger every
day. he can break every law of God
and man and she will never ind IT
does find 1t out.
People often comment on the
fact that men are more generous
to their second wives than to their
hrst. 1t merely means that they
have found out that matrimony is
just one bill after another, and are
no longer shocked by the upkeep
Of a home.
Then, too, a mans goodness to-
ward his second wife is often the
Expression of his remorse over the
way he treated his first wife. He
hid not intend to be cruel to his
erst wife but when she was gone
he realized how much of tender
hess, how much of affection. he
might have shown her and never
did. and II makes him very consid-
crate to the next woman whose
happiness he takes into his hands.
Undoubtedly. the FIRST wife Is a
missionary who goes before, and