The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1921-11-22


A Suggestion.
Hang this where you'll see 1t
When you go to bed each night,
And when you pray l hope you'll say:
Lord, teach ME how TO write!"
Will Paul's family please assure him that
we shall write him letter within three days
If we have TO stay up all night to do it?
DEAR US, EDITH; HOW YOU DO TALK!
Sir: Our Cacu have established a feud-
sort of battle OF two-edged words, not?
Original Cactus Pseudo Cactus
Hasten, garcon pistols and green rivers for
two! Well, they say that thorns very
characteristic OF the shrubs (Cactacea: order
Optuntlales: class DicotyledonesJ OF dry
countries.
But, say, listen: did va see the Eversharp
ad in the Post that says: You have friends
who play golf? Then give them each one of
the Eversharp golf pencils-just the right
length for the purpose" For what purpose,
pray. is golf pencil just the right length"
and all, and ala substitute for the mashie
niblick, maybe? EDITH A.
p. S: Ever since l remember-farther
back than ! go-men-h have started in No
vember writing odes to Lovely Snow" and
pestered Colyums something cruel with their
flights in fancy Verse-but when they get the
bill for fuel they forget theI rmes and curse.
They give me the pale blue willes. If they
must rave, the great big gumps. let them say
it with some lilies. They give the side
ways jumps. On the beauty of the snowf1aaes
I'm not willing to enthuse; till the we'll known
first spring bud wakes 1 have the Sneeze and
Shuttle Blues. The snow may be quite lovely
but the wind is like a sword, and you nurse
your pallid fingers and pound the starter on
your ford. Through the glass you broke last
summer zephyrs enter with glad signs, and
your is the hummer-blame' thing
coughs and spits and dies. You drive on the
icy pavement and she teeters like blimp and
skids into some good and brave gent, who
henceforth walks with limp. Do they care
these poem writers-who about the winter
sing? No! What's more. the nervy blighters
they'll soon be writing odes to Spring But
that is something else again. EDITH
HOPPE Plays Morningstar This Evening"
Peoria Journal
Sounds like a paradox, doesn't it?
Yen Wouldn't Have Thought This OF Woodrow.
Now Would You!
(Culled from biography of the former
PRESIDENT
Hurting his hat and cane>in the air,
and at the same time shaking his head
in a self-accusing way he yelled at the
'sixty-fve years old and still a
damn fool
"tAll Rights ReservedJ"
ASIDE tt Monk z. Gland: We appreciate
your cooperation. and we have 81 varieties of
appreciation for the clipping you enclosed but |
you must remember that this is a family
newspaper
PERHAPS THIS IS WHAT MAKES MAGGIE !
MERRY.
10, Mac: ia ever hear of Link & Son, Mo-
line? Wonder if he's the guy that put the link
in link sausage?
And Dadd & Laid are over on Harrison
street. Davenport. An example of a unitad
family, Then the Weidenheft butcher sbon
Why not Wide n hefty?
MERRY MAGGIE.
Il DECIDED to handwrite nv letters.
pos'scripts Maggie. 1T gives them a-er-a
more personal touch: and besides nv Indie
nderwood; please don't misunderstand is
on the blink"
In Which Solomon Is Durn, Near oxor.or.
Sir: Usually l am not Of the yainglorious
anu egousucai aggregation, but the other day
CONFESS surrendered, wited and gave up
70 those emotlons. | Immediately placed NV
hand over my Bump of Self Esteem and ON !
TlousIy enough, it seemed much larger than I II
naa supposed 1t to be. (You see it does not Ii
get the perspective of my phizD
-Cleo's suggestion that Soiomonetta MIGHT do
Iol sucn d wonderful baby was the reason for
my IeeHng so much like a thoroughbred
However, it would be an injustice m the
lttle one TO give it my name until resnonsibie
persons saw Just what l look Hke-and then II
u cur sc tney would suggest some other name
, 1ol see was named after good reIa
i've VINO was reputed to be SO homeIv none
or my tribe had ever named a babv after bjn,
IN LOOKS at least, am worthy namesake
II seems from names suggested plans and {
IhcaI-ohs would not mt anyway. However {
am appreclatlve of Cleo's thoughtfnInpss
An old suggestion to o. D. K.0but a God
1ne-is to act with deiberation and choose
ne pest possible name for such SWEEP IjttIe
3 ha OF humanity And bring her up worthy Of
At the christening? Yes. sir, II If u.,0 t
possiole. In any capacity from SPRINGER tn
standing around in the way, or simply az \
My little dream baby is one with brown t
yes and red hair Yes l mean REDNsun- '
Snlny red, as is the lady's W. d. m. s d
constance Virginia is the fairy na1e ua c
all her nahe we r
mere is another name OF quiet dignity
owe winch is Mary-my angel mothers nams 4
bless the baby anyway. She must he
cry winsome little thing O0 L
SOLOMON PIFFLE. n
bOCBTLESS all our contribs will ioin ne o
!, n a. goplng that the fond dream of Mr. and Mrs v
'inie may be realized WI 9 L
WIEN MI Hughes says principle" recites
AVID Lawrence. he means "priucipIe". and @
men he says details he means "details" o
BEFORE he gets through with il we sus- :;
'ect mat Uncle Charley will have European :,
epioinac7 oy the neck. grimly telling il to
say Uncle, gol darn ye; say Uncle!"
R E MIG p