The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1921-09-13

, EDITORIAL FILINGS OF THIS.
. THAT ZEN 'TOTHER


To get a number, 1 concede
Is task for me too hard;
The next number l may need
II drop Miss Switchboard a card.
Low shoes, the fashion advance
say, will be stylish this winter. We
had no idea that anything low could
be stylish, and, if the truth were
known, neither had you.
The chief of Kentucky bootleg
ging ring is said to be millionaire.
And he doubtless will found a dynas-
ty of aristocrats, whose descendants
shall some day point with pride to
their ancestors romantic calling.
If that Franklin county grand
jury should get at the bottom of the
Blair pardon case it would encounter
Governor Morrow and Maurice Gal
vim in conversation somewhere near
the bottom of what isn't a closed in
cident.
The wretch who goes about when
the mercury is below zero asking
lblue-nosed neighbors whether it is
cold enough for them now, attacks
the school bay or school girl to learn
whether they enjoy returning 10
school.
Former Secretary Elihu Root says
his name is pronounced "El-a-hew,"
and may be pronounced "El-i-hew,"
but should not be pronounced
''El-i-hoo!" But ours is a free coun-
try, especially in the matter of
speech, and some persons persist in
speaking of the "doo" on the grass.
While walking along Main street
the other day a pedestrian picked
up a set of false teeth for the lower
jaw of male person. The party
no doubt lost them while gazing in
open-mouthed admiration at some of
the short skirts and pretty ankles
seen on Main street.
In rummaging around a cave in
the Southern part of Kentucky a
few days ago, a party of scientists
found a human jawbone which,
they afterward declared, was not
less than eight hundred years old.
Wonder if the dentists in those days
put dates on the plates.
A scientist declares that an angel
more closely resembles an insect
than a glorified human being. He
may be right at that. But what we
are positively sure of is that we are
acquainted fright here in Paris with
several human insects who never
will register in the divine entomo-
logy.
A fashion sharp just returned from
Paris, France, announces that skirts
will be longer, much longer, and
| waists higher But what is much
harder to believe is that, in spite Of
| frantic struggles on the part of the
great men of the art, prices, it is
said, will be neither as high nor As
long as they have been.
We can't recall just who wrote it..
| But, anyhow, those disarmament con-
| ferees, when they assemble, should
bear in mind the significant fact that
''a column twenty men abreast,
marching sixty days and nights
that would be the parade of the
dead who fell in the great war on the
side Of the Allies"
Is the Southern cotton crop fail
ure a blessing in disguise? We
asked that question of Paris mer-
chant, and already ten dollars has
been added to the value of every
bale, new or old, while stocks climb
in sympathy. And, precisely as with
grain, the farmer will reap the BEN
eft. When he does everybody does.
The same will apply to the tobacco
crop.
We have figured it out that if the
"cut-out" and speeding is not effect
ually stopped in Paris, the people
will be nervous wrecks in some
thing less than two hundred years.
Some of these big trucks that go rae
ing through the streets, (and some
that are not big) make the most hid
eous noises imaginable, said by
many to be absolutely avoidable
and entirely unnecessary.
The vacation season for this good
: year is now about over, and those
who have been compelled to stay at
home are by far the healthier,
weather. and wiser. This is not a
case of "sour grapes" but real facts
cleaned from those who have taken
vacations. Many people in order to
keep up with Lizzie" will leave the
best of homes and surroundings, and