The Washington herald., 1921-04-24

| tAM blushes IL he knocks downI
| his walking stick. who wfIl|
lheSn--=@SSSt j endure in stole silence any,
thing they hand him from the other side foot
hghts-consders it equally proper. the moment -
enters ball park to whoop. howl, and cacchi-
nate. curse. fume. fuss fret IL. by any chanc.I
some unfortunate particularly overpaid sth-
lete fails TO STOP and hurl fifteenth part
OF second horsehide sphere that has shot al
him with force enough take his leg of
Here, fellow nonvoters, the most astound-
ing and inexplicable mysteries the age-the mys
terry Of why normal human being like the most oil
US feels 1t not only necessary. but somewhat Of Al
osnctlon TO silently submit to anything handed himI
in the theater. but who IL no less than
public duty tear the grandstand IL some
unlucky wight in ball suit fails to risk his life in
front OF a baseball
This attitude. strongly suspect is precisely whyJ
the average actor producer and playwright frequently
feels at liberty to insult Intelligence sense
OF humor, ones idea decency. and ones innate re
spect for the law murder by perpetrating
species Of entertainment atrocity will pass the
ash inspector.
They know your inhibitions-these PLAYER foIk
They know your shyness. Of being conspicu
Gus In the theater. and they sit perfectl
meek silent come purgstory ana high ust.r a, u
dramatic sense
Few of us will that dav. but perhsp.I
when these United States have learned wear dnne
coats and read Conrad and. like Eugene o'NeI over
come our collective fear the hick stigmsta foik
will see the wisdom Of carrying a little more Of th
baseball park into the thester. That will be a com
pelng vision. take my word for IT Merely imagining
that far-on era is enough to make the pulses lean
During the current hostities Georgia avenus
there has been mysterious though acrid. enthusiast
buried somewhere in the human mass OF the grand
stand. He does favor the gentleman Al thIrd
base for the home team and his prejudice take,
violent and Vocferous form. So long Mr.. shank.
his bette noir. performs highly credtabl. tashyon
he is silent merged in the around him Let M
Shanks. however miss the slightest cue be a. .ve1
difficult strait ghtway this fan IN ,b-i
drones:
Same old Shanks-Take him .out-
THIS fan, might add Is not in particularly hir,
favor with his fellow fans. A great matorItv
of those about him are out Of synp,fhv ,5,s
his prejudice. Furthermore Mr.. Shanks is an aetiv
and powerful man. and possibly given to venreapc.I
None Of these factors deter the gentleman IN IN.
slightest He braves popular opinion the possisl
wrath OF husky athlete give tongue TO Mi.
What a mervelous innovation 'twould be to instsf}
thst FELLOW back around KS and curtain on
something like Philip Bartholomse's The open Boot
or George V Hobart's The Blue Flame" Fancy Eyelv
Nesbit-or Theda Bara-in Of the more atrocIoul
scenes mouthing unblushinE insnities. What a mar
Velous relief twould be- just one twisted in one,
seat for the twentieth agoniIed twist, hear this
shrill falsetto sneer:
Same old Theda-Take her outr"
Fancy Mike Sacks in full flight through Joe MI
Iers JOKE BOOK in something like The Marcus Show
Of $780, for instance Consider the intense therspeut
value Of introducing into ks brunette bsby tha
sits on an oldcloth cushion 5o-cent pavilion
and having him drone:
Extra paper!" as Mr. Sacks esy. yoic. IN IN.
evenings joke.
As a matter OF fact ther. are scores Of ben,at.I
imaginable result Of abolishing tn. handclasu
ana the groan in the thester in favor free
spontaneous. untrsmmeled expression yea or nay
One may argue that the presence OF ladies makes
this idea imprscticabe. The ball park particularly
on Sunday afternoon and ladies' day s damned uithI
the fair ones. Yet ever heard Of thar ,nU
tatng against the free exercise OF ran-check hold
ers opinion Somehow I suspect that tho audienceI
part OF the theater. dashed bound
with its queer, unanswered inhibtons has already
permitted the actors to steal this clear prerogatve o
the seatholder
T$oR instance. Ed Wynn used publicly announce
that certain Ziegfeld show he worked in ws.I
rotten He'd come right down the left Ia nd
aisle saying II was rotten. He'd from Aisle
with Leon Enrol somebody o whether or not stI
was worth the price OF admission. Lacking properI
rostrum he'd mount the stage and repeat that IN.
show was terrible To prove it he'd tell much I'll
cost Ziegfeld.
All this was funny. but it was stealing an audi-I
ences thunder The audience alone has right toI
say show is not what II ought to be- yet a Who'll
will take chance assault and battery from al
husky enrsged athlete and the OF a contrsrr-I
minded fan landing q pop bottle on his sanctined
dome, huddles up in thester like a Greenwich
Village Socialist draft soree and bushes
with embarrassed shame IL the lady on his left
objects to his snoring.
There other BENEFITS inseparabIy a.soci,te6
with more liberal sfnslgamation OF methods
Of personal expression. For instance such analga
nation would result in a slight softening Of the scat,
necessity for critics slipping water boy piece o
change for a drink.
The beneficial effects on the critic probably
would be even more noticeable. One look
forward TO the day when the local Alan will
provided with two water coolers OF each
aisle; nice mahogany slab the back Of the seat
ahead for his notes his pencils his cigarettes
program; an announcer with q megsphone clarity
last-minute substitutions caused by the
riages in the chorus telegraph operator the pit
TO keep the Times Square Ticker Service New
York Clipper advised premiere performances act |
by act and better all these. official scorer 10
determine whether Tessie McDurs playwright speei-
ned satin slippers and IS hose In the steam laundry
scene. whether Tessis declined 60 HsI. and
brogans.
Some day mes amis wen get over this thester