The Morning Tulsa daily world. [volume] (Tulsa, Okla.) 1919-1927, 1921-11-11

between both places. Dotft be milk
and water. cider. chalk and vinegar
be like the Irishman out IN Iowa.
during McKiulcys second campaign.
lie had "a picture " Mckinley here
In mis- coat and he had a great lonS
red pepper pod. and n fellow said
20 him, what does that men2'
lie said, 'lt means red hot for
McKiuley-touch me not"
Self-concoit! Listen, bOys--thats
great handicap TO you. It's sad
day for a Young fellow when he has
such an exalted option OF himself
that ox- President Taft's overcoat
won't make him a vest
ThCrc is more hope for a fool than
the follow whose head is full OF
vanity Like e fellow said, Did
you hear about Isaac? Hc lost sew
en- thousand dollars"
The other follow said, II didn't
know he had $1,000
lie said. "It WAS I'm his mind and
he has lost his mi 81; he's bug
house"
A conceltrd man Is a man on
stilts. Tor his long wooden legs are
hid by panta}oons Hc is tho stripes
ON a barber pole. A conceited man
rs @ drum major in a procession. A
corrected man--oh. he Is like a
Crasshoppcr on q telegraph pole;
he's like some newspapers, all scare
heads and no telegraph news He's
Ike some rcstHurauts--eVeryt in
the window but nothing on the table
but hot air. You do the noddiug
while nc docs the speaking and he
win be roses In June. Ice cream
soda In August and mirce pie az
Christmas, but you try and get him
| 10 sit out there and smile ant1 uod
while you do the stunt and your
/ know the meaning OF "wormWood
I and gall" and you won't need a dc
| tiCuary either.
Look on the bright side. oh, a
= sundial IN Spain says 81 mark oNly
| the bright hours" Every time you
| smile YOU put a crimp in the under
/ takers business and keep the hesrse
| away from your house ~ merry
| heart docth good like a medicine.
| Get your own heart fun OF sunshine
and you will bequeath Il TO others.
II every black cloud had n cyclone
| ih 4, the world would have been
blown to pieces long ago. j heard
OF n fellow that was an optimist ano
that was his stereotyped reply. HIS
wife came down one morning look
ing worried and she said:
| Il had a horrible dream /
dreamt tho devil had me tied up in
n robe like q spider ties a fly. He
had mo strapped to his back and
he was taking me off TO hell and
there was no one to help"
And he said, 1T might have been
worse"
She said. Good heavens. how
could it?"
lie said. "It might have been
! true"
! SO don't go TO pieces every time
! things go different from tho way
you'd like them. Don't be like a
Shanghai rooster I know of--every
; time he'd crow he'd throw his legs
! out OF Joint. They had to go and
. set him up before he could crow
I again II you will all look on the
, bright side of things, smile and look
6 happy, your best friends wouldn't
y know you in n month from now.
s You'd be like a street barker ou7
IL in Indiana where j live. A fellow
= stood on the street corner on a dry
o goods box, selling soap to the yaps
II that came around, and he said
Ladies and gentlemen, / have thu
= honor to offer for your consideration
e the finest brand OF soap ever made
u A man down here in the next count,
d bought n cake OF II, went home, tool
Jf bath and his own dog bit him.
n SO you can't have everything; yo'
have to divvy
Wanted Her Himself.
u Like fellow who was attendiut
10 wedding and they were using the
{, Episccpalion ritual and when theJ
Is came to that point In the service
x where 10 says, III there Is anyone
present that knows any reason why
r this couple should not be united n
G the bands OF holy wedlock, let hin
speak now or forever hold hh
II peace"
A long, lean. 1ank. grim-visaged
Il lantern -jawed, cadaverous, weasei'
d eyed fellow with a trombone neck
n prodigious Adams apple, shifted hii
u old cud from left to right. spit to
s bacCo enough to drown rat ant
he said "Parson, 1 object"
He said, "On what ground?"
lie said. by gosh. want tina
g. gal myself"
8, You can't tell a mans size by tn
fuss he makes. A frog makes NOR
noise than n whale and n pup bark
st moro than an old dog. Mol Like
colored fellow got up to give hi
testimony. He said, A." Brothers an
sisters, i can talk more religion
n! ten minutes than l can live in tw
years"
v, A friend OF mine was out in chat
I'd tauqua lecturing and he was O.
planning the mystery of the $-ra
nc lie said" you can take "a pin an
hide 1t beneath dictionary and 81
Il. Its marvelous--there's nothir
hidden from Il. You can look rigl
al, through a person. II child N
at swallowed n penny or n hatpln yc
can look right IN and see It."
y, So this old negro stood the
scratching his head and he sal
>. SAY boss, can you see anything
uS anybody"
Eyes sir"
Ne "If u man eats his dinner can "
see the dinner"
w, lie said. yes sir"
lie said, III he's been eatiI
chicken can you see iti'
"Yes SIR"
las lie said, Boss, you can't q
where no got the chicken, can you
na But some young fellow listens
me tonight and comes 20 mo az
on says, "But HUL 1 ann Handicapped
am puorN Iu-huh
IKE my creed 0t compassion has piou
ly stood
TO- For tn, fnuuw who couldn't maF
good lf hc would
But my sympathy ceases, as all syn
abb