South Bend news-times., 1921-05-27

aens. If the story was a cracker
JACK. he had Mesrour. the execu-
TONER. whack Of his head. The re-
port that Haroun Al Raschid is yet
awe and is editing the magazine
mat your grandmother used 10 sub
serbs for lacks confirmation.
the millionaire, the ineficacious in
And now follows the story Of the
millionaire, the ineficacious incre-
nent, and the Babes Drawn from the
Wood.
Young Howard Pnkins. the mill
ionaire. got his money ornithologic-
ally. He was a shrewd Judge Of
storks, and got in on the ground
noor at the residence Of his imme-
date ancestors. the PiIkins Brewing
GO. For his mother was a partner
In the business. Finally old man
Pukins died from a torpid liver, and
then Mrs. Pilkins died from worry
on account Of torpid delivery-wa gons
and there you have young Howard
PHkins with 100000; and a good
fellow At that. He was an agreeab BILE,
modestly arrogant young man who
implicitly believed that money could
buy anything that the world had TO
offer. And Ragdad-on-the-S
for a long time did everything pos
sible to encourage his belief.
But the Rat-trap caught him at
/ last; he heard the spring snap. and
found his heart in a wire cage re-
garding a piece of cheese whose 9TH
er name was Alice Won der Ruysling.
The Won der Ruyslings still live
in that little square about which so
much has been said, and in which
so little has been done. Today you
hear Of Mr.. Tildens underground
passage, and YOU hear Mr.. Gould's
elevated passage. and that about
ends the noise in the world made
by Gramercy Square. But once it
was different. The Won der Ruysl-
lngs live there yet, and they re-
ceived the first key ever made to
Gramercy Park.
You shall have no description of
Alice V. d. r. Just call up in your
mind the picture of your own Maggie
or Vera or Beatrice, straighten her
nose, soften her voice. tone her down
and then tone her up, make her
beautiful and unattaina ble-and YOU
have faint dry-point etching of
Alice. The family owned a crumblv
brick house adm a coachman named
Joseph in coat Of many colors, and
a horse so old that he claimed to
belong to the order of the Perisso-
dactyla, and had toes instead Of
: hoofs. In the year 1898 the family
mad to buy new set Of harness for
the Perissodactyl. Before using it
| they made Joseph smear it over with
mixture Of ashes and SCOT. It was
the Won der Ruysling family that
bought the territory between the
/ Bowery and East River and Riving-
ton Street and the Statue of Liberty,
in the year 1649. from an Indian
chief for a quart of passementerie
and a pair of Turkey-red portieres
designed fore Harlem fat. have
always admired that Indians per-
spicacity and good taste. All this is
merely to convince you that the
Won der Ruyslings were exactly the
kind of poor aristocrats that turn
down their noses at people who have
money. Oh, well. don't mean that;
I mean people who have just money.
One evening Pilkins went down to
the red brick house in Gramercy
Square, and made what he thought
was a proposal to Alice V. d. r.
Alice, with her tnOse turned down.
and thinking Of his money. consid-
cred it a proposition. and refused it
and him. Pilkins. summoning all
his resources as any good general
would have done, made an indiscreet
reference to the advantages that his
money would provide. That settled
il. The lady turned so cold that
Walter Wellman himself would have
waited until spring to make a dash
for her in a dog-sled.
But Pilkins was something OF a
sport himself. You can't fool all
the millionaires every time the ball
drops on the Western Union build
ing.
IF, at any time" he said to A. v.
d. r. you feel that YOU would like
to reconsider your answer, send me
a rose like that"
Pilkins audaciously touched a
Jacque rose that she wore loosely in
her hair.
Very We'll" said she. And when
I do, you will understood by It that
either you or I have learned some
thing new about the purchasing of
money. You've ben spoiled. my
friend. No, I don't think I could
marry you. Tomorrow I will send
you back the presents you have CIV
en- me-"
Presents" said Pilkin IN sur
prise. Il never gave you a present
IN my life. I would like to see
full-length portrait Of the man that
you would take a present from. Why.
you never would let me send YOU