The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1921-12-16
ADVICE TO THE
 LOVELORN
WHAT DO MEN ASK OF WOMEN
 TODAY,
STUMPED!
By BEATRICE FAIRFAX.

I've been reading so mucn about vamps and 'iazz babies and old fashioned girls and the various types which flourish today that my heads in a whirl," writes James c. V. Do you know I'm not sure which type Of girl I really like. I see something in the tricks of the vamp and something in the amusement offered by the jazz baby and something in the comfort and ease an o1d-fashioned home girl might offer. But if I were to marry tom orrow, l wouldn't know which to choose.
 'Of course. I'd like to have a wife I could respect and count on. But men settle down after sowing a lot of wild oats. It isn't proven that girl who's too fond of a good time, won't get tired of 1t and be glad and grateful for the chance to help a man make a home. And some times she's far more appealing than the girl who's too busy making business of being good to stop and think about the business of being hu- man. I think lot of men are all bepuzzled and befudd1ed. Now I'm turning to you. Suppose you were man of thirty earning five thousand a year (more or less-but I'm speak, you want in the girl you expect to love and marry?"
 If T were a man wonder if I wouldn't want the same things which being woman, strike me as the essentials of happiness? Seems to me that this distinction between man and woman is a little over stressed. We're all human beings with the same longings and aspira- tions and needs. And when we stop specializing and laying so much stress on male and female, I think, we'll come a bit nearer the truth.
 So if I were q man Pm prepared to say with some authority and in sistence I'd want a, companion with whom I found inspiration and peace
 +l,~ ,F iTriv
 I'd realize that thrills are-thri1l- ing, all right, but that they don't last and that life would be a hectic thing if they did and very little business would get accomplished. The impulse to build can't be ignored for the de- sire to woo.
 If were a man I'd try to under stand the fundamentals of my own nature. And having arrived at an honest estimate of myself, I'd square my ambitions and nature and desires with the folks I met.
 If an aIluring vampire appealed to me, I'd be honest enough to puzzle out if I didn't find her just as ex- hilirating as a mountain climb or a cup of black coffee or an exciting play. And then I'd be honest enough to investigate whether I preferred a diet of caviar to one of roast beef. If I were the exotic and abnormal kind to want stimulation rather than peace, I wouldn't marry a home loving girl and wreck her life.
 If I were a normal man with a, de- sire for a home and babies and an understanding companion to help me build that home, I'd turn my back on the things which tempted me at moments of high excitement and try to find the durable satiSfactions.
 And that brings us full circle back to the thing I'm sure men want. It's those durable Satisfactions. A mo- ment of moonlight won't last. It may be beautiful, but life has to be spent under the bright sun and in the cleo tric illuminations of business. It has to be based definite work and striving rather than on any momen- tary thrill.
 Men must want partners, compan- ions, gentle women who give love and who have yet the strength to offer in- spiration and understanding. Men want to find their best selves stimu- lated, their powers called upon for achievem ent, their faith and loyalty called into being.
 The lure of the senses may be- fuddle youth for the moment now and then. But the mind and the spirit revolt against giving them selves over completely to the physical.
 Men want women who give their womanly best and call out the best that men have to offer. They want love-and that is made of mind and s,irit-no& flesh alone
 A Calculating Lover.