The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-11-02
ANDREW AND
 IMOGENE
By ROE FuLKERsoN

T see Florence has a steady man | again." remarked Andrew. She was | at the theatre again with that man with the red hair"
 "Yes." said Imogene impatiently. but he Is just another buzzer."
 "A whst?'' asked Andrew, puzzled
 "A buzzer" repeated Imogene, 'ene of those fellows who just buzz around and say everything except the one thing that the woman wants to hear him say. The world Is fuli of that sort of men who want to come around and eat a woman's rarebits, | drink her tea, take up her time and never come to the point All women hate such men"
 Do you mean to tell me that woman wants every man who comes to see her to marry herr"
 Not at ail," said Imogene, "but at least wants him to want to marry her. She wants him to ask her to marry him. What other reason on earth can he have for coming around? It's these buzzers who make the life of a single woman hard to 1 live. She can never tell what minute he Is going to come in and the worst of him Is that he not only fails to como to the point himself but like that man with the red hair who is buzzing around Florence he keeps other good men away"
 Then every man who comes around a single woman Is matrimon- ial game for herr" said Andrew laughingly.
 There you are again" said Imo- gene Indignantly. "Of course every normal woman looks forward to mat rimony. but don't for heavens sake imagine that because she looks for ward to matrimony that she is crazy about 1t. A woman looks forward to old age, woman looks forward to losing her teeth, her complexion and her hair, and she looks forward to matrimony in just the same way, as one of the things which the fates have decreed she must endure.
 And so long as she must endure it she of course wants the best op- portunity possible to choose from. and when one of these buzzers comes around and monopolizes her time, he scares off other candidates"
 Why" said Andrew. "I thought women were all romantlc."
 Romantic, your grandmother ? said 1mogene slangly. "If half the men In the country knew what wom- en really think of them, they would be less egotistical. I know one wom an who refused a fellow who could make the most beautiful story-bool love just because when he got dowr on his knees to her she noticed hi. hair was getting thin on top ant realized that some day he would b, bald-headed and she couldn't abid, a bald-headed man.
 T know a girl who refused a req good fellow who had nice lob jus because he didn't keep his teeth clear and she could not think of Kissing man with bad teeth.
 Mary Milmore refused Billy Sand, because he teeters. Don't you evel notice how, when Billy is standing III he teeters back and forth like one O , those Nttle toys which you canno make lie down7 Well, it made Mar, nervous and she felt that she coult not teeter through life with Billy , "so 1t goes. You men get on you, < knees, use impassioned expressiont | to woman and when she gets . !, dreamy look in her eyes you thinI } she is dreaming that you are a her, } of romance, when the chances ar, she Is wondering whether you woul. 7 be mean about the market money. "A good spender ~beats a zoo, locker in the matrimonial marke any day"