Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1921-06-29
SHORT PERSONAL JOTTIEG

DO You suppose sc Is true, as SON
people say, that many of our foremost
eating places have jazz orchestras to
drown the cries Of the diners wher
their bills are presented?
"A Hoyoke, Massachusetts,, lunch
room displays over the counter a large
isign which reads as follows: "Don'i
make fun of our coffee. Yen may be
old and weak yourself some day. Use
one helping of sugar and stir like hell
We don't mind the noise"
Thine passes on with rapid pace:
how swift the moments fly" So goes
the old hymn, and we are reminded
OF 1t as we view a commencement in
vitation handed US by Miss Lucy Daw-
son, bearing the name of Lindley
Stearns Hartwell of Brattleboro, Yer
mont. It seems only a little while
while ago since the Hartwell's left vi
roqua.
Down in the mountains of a south
ern state lives Bud Simpson, hunter
and trapper, and his grown-up son
Not long ago the son tired of the mo-
notony of the bright lights of the city
He was telling Bud some of the rea-
sons why he thought he ought to leave
home and make his way in the city
finally stating, "A Teller has no chance
to get ahead here mo chanel. hell"
exclaimed Bud, why look at me, boy.
When fust come here | didn't have
nothin', nothin' at all And look at
me now got nine dawgs."
"A deplorable accident with fatal
ending occurred at Muscoda Wednes-
| day of last week when a child of Rev
and Mrs. E. Smukal was so seriously
burned that deathfollowed a few hours
later. Mrs Smukal was engaged in
frying doughnuts in a skillet of hot
grease when the tot came toddling to
her. In STOPPING to caress or pick up
/ the child the mothers dress sleeve
caught the handle of the skillet and it
upturned, the contents spilling over
the head of the baby. The mother has
not recovered from grief ana anguish
and for time it was feared she would
lose her mind.-Boscobel Dial Enter
prise.
Those Britishers who complain of
the difficulty of understanding our
baseball slang would do we'll to look
20 the beam within our own eyes.
Recent comment on a cricket game,
published in the Manchester Guardian.
contains the following: ION that day
he kept length and broke both ways a.
AAoN0AA(CA I4AA6 II 1Okll
against Kent and Surrey bears out
this new promise. If Hearne can con-
! troll his length in Australia he will add
enormously 20 England's chances.
The great thing about finger-spin
bowlers of Hearne's type is that the
harder the wicket the better t h e
break" Now what do you make of
all that?
Camp Douglas will have the larg-
est number of TROOPS of any national
guard camp in the country this sum-
mer according to a statement issued
by Adjt. Gen. Orlando Holway Be-
ginning June goth between 5000 and
1000 troops will be stationed at Camp
Douglas while going through inten-
sive summer training. A regiment of
regular army artillery and regiment
of regular army infantry will be sta
toned at Camp Douglas during the
summer. All the artillery of the Wis
consin, Illinois and Michigan national
guard will train there. Gen. Pershing
chief of staff, will spend several days
reviewing the troops at the camp. Gen.
Holway said
An exchange says a woman in a
nelghboring town suspected that her
husband was in the habit of kissing
the hired girl and resolved to detect
him in the act. Saturday night she
saw him pass quietly into the kitchen.
The hired girl was out and the kitch-
en- was dark. The jealous wife took
a few matches in her hand, hastily
placed a shawl on her head, as the
girl often did, entered the. back door
and was Immediately seized and kiss
ed and embraced in an ardent man.
ner. With heart almost bursting the
wife prepared a terrible rebuke to
the faithless spouse and tearing her
self loose from his embrace, struck a
match and stood face to face with
the hired man.
The longer | linger the more I
discern that this world of ours is a
darn queer concern. It's a crime to
pick a mans wages on Saturday
night; for the laws are constructed,
wherever I've been, that the workers
are made for the grafters to skin. If
you try to be honest you don't stand
a chance, your sure to be known by
the patch on your pants. If you steal
a few million you're person of note,
if you steal ham bone the police get
your goat. If you run around naked
you're sent TO the pen; if you swipe
SOHie OAu SAOSuuiS YOU 20 tlcrc again.
If you murder in war then your valor
is sung;if you privately murder you're
doomed to be hung. If a girl sells
her virtue she's branded as vile, but
the rooster that brought it is met with
a smile. If man tells the truth then
the people get tired; if he tells them
myth they say he's inspired; it's a
funny old world wherever you turn;
it's devilish queer and twisted con-
Germ. It's badly balled up and it's all
out of tune and it must be a sight to
the man in the moon.-Walt Mason, of