Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1921-11-18
Continued from last week)

He understood, ne DeIeVeu. How any
woman on earth could turn down a
man like Bill Dale was utterly beyond
him. BY Heck was great deal like a
g0Od-natured dog. -.
II Bill would only laugh, it would be
good for him 1t had been so long since
he had heard Bill laugh. By Heck de-
cided that he would make Bill Dale
laugh
"Old boy?"
"Wen?"
do We want me to tell We funny
tale?' drawled Heck. He barely heard
the answer:
81 guess | don't mind, BY"
Heck'S sympathy made him gulp.
But he swallowed the lump that came
up in his throat and began bravely:
"One time the was a Teller named
Smith. Odd name. Bill, amt it? 'Hoss-
fiv' Smith. they called him, cause it
was said at he could easy shoot a
hOSstiy often Il hOSS'S ear and never
break hide on the animile. He was Il
helliun. too. One time HOsstiy, he was
a-tryin' to git appointed the chairman
o some sort o politics dOin's, and on
that same day he was a-drinkin' sort
O tol'able heavy. They agreed to
make him the Temporary chairman, but
HosSfy. he didn't want that. So he
hops right up in the middle o the meet
in, and he boilers out and says:
"'FelIer citizens, he says. / want
to be the permanent chairman ! amt
a-goin TO act in the capacity of
burned Temporary chairman; I abso.
d-n-lutely amt!
"His old inemy, Eb Wright, he yells
back and says smart-like: Set down
thar, Hossfiy,' says Eb-'you're drunk.
and you don't know the difference a.
tween Temporary and permanent
"WeIl. they knowed Eb had it d
comm to him right then, and they lis
tened TO it. Hossfiy, he addresses the
whole meetin', and this here is what
HOssfy says:
"'Feller citizens says he, Eli
Wright thar lows don't know the diff
ference atween Temporary and perna-
nent I'll prove 10 you that do know
the difference. Eb Wright says I'm
drunk. | am. That's Temporary. Eb
Wright IS d poke-nosed idiit. That's
permanent!
Heck finished with lazy laugh:
"1aW. haw, haW! Hee-haW, hee-haW !"
''rhat story" Dale said YEARLY.
"has been told on dozens of politicians.
1t has become a part Of the history OF
this state"
"Well, my gosh!' moaned BY Heck.
He thought deeply for moment. de-
cided that Bill Dale wouldn't laugh at
the story Of Tom Jones pig-which
lad drank all of a gallOn-pail Of but
termlk and then gone 70 sleep in the
Self-same pail-and went on:
Here's one, by Jake, at amt been
told on dozens O. politics men. And
every word of ii is the solemn, dyin'
death-bed truth, too.
zone time | was out in the noun
tains a-huntin', a-goin' along slow and
;t-lOokin' fo' a squirrel, when all Of a
student ! hears a skeery noise right
ahead o. Inc In the laurels-Z-Z-z-Z-z
IZ-ZZ-Zi Jest like that. stops.
stops de-e-ad still. | looks keen. Thar
was a den O rattlers, and the very
least one was as big around as my left
hind laig Then | hears a turrible
growl right ahnd O me-. looks keen.
Thar stands Il big old 'she-bear with
Ter teeth a-showin', and two cross
eyed cubs Then | hears whine at
my left looks keen. Thar stands ii
shepanther as big as boss, with her
eyes jest a-bazin'! Then | hears a
spittin' sound out 10 my right. looks
keen. Thar was seven full-gr0Wn Wild
cats, and all of EN- had been bit by Il
some fix
We'll, | thinks to myself. Eff
shoots the rattIerS, | thinks TO myself,
the bear and the panther and the wild
catsll git me. And eff / shoots the
bear, the panther and the wildcats
and the rattlers'll git me. And eff
shoots the panther, the wildcats and
the rattlerS and the bear'll git me.
And eff | shoots the wildcats, the rat
tiers and the bear and the panther'll
git me. And eff don't shoot none OF
'em. they'll all git me! Some ongodly
fix wasn't it, Bill? Now, how do We
reckon ! got out of it,"
Bill Dale only smiled II can't i'm
agine, BY he said.
Il CANT imagine, neither" grinned
Heck. But anyhow, I'm alive today.
Wen, now that ye're in a good humor
one time more, I'll tell We some news.
] hated TO rutlie We up like yaller
goose a-tiyin' back'ards whilst We was
so cusSed, DANCED blue. Bill, old boy,
1t amt but five days ontel Christmas.
lot O them NaWth Calner Turner's
from Turner's Laurel is a-visitin' their
ktnfolks, the Balls and they'll every
dadslatted one of EN- git drunk on
white nghtnin' Ticker TO Christmas,