The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1921-04-07

AN tiiN
nothing did him any good until he got
a horse chestnut and carried it around
In his pocket. Then the rheumatism
disappeared, and hasn't played a re-
turn engagement since. | have talked
with Jasper often, trying to point out
the folly of his claim, but he refuses
to yield an inch. I used to have all
kinds Of %rheumatics before | got that
horse chestnut he says. and now I
haven't a single one. Who would ask
better proof than that?'
and echo answers who, my dear
Mrs. Jiggers. 1t may be that a horse
chestnut in the hip pocket is a specific
for rheumatism. 1t isn't safe to de-
nounce any theory as a false alarm.
IRA Grifway used to be always
grooming about his diseases, until 1t
became unpleasant to meet him. He
couldn't talk about anything else. He
ignored the crops and regarded the
weather with contempt, and devoted
oil his great energy and talents to a
discussion Of the things that were
hurting him. Then all Of a sudden he
began Boosting Of how hale and
hearty he was. He explained that the
road to health was absurdly easy, and
there was no excuse for sickness any
where. All a man had to do, he said,
was to get up early In the morning,
before sunrise, and draw In a hundred
long breaths Of the crisp morning air.
"He made the discovery himself, and
1t was more important than any mod
ern invention. His sincerity is shown
by the fact that there was no possible
graft connected with II. A man can't
sell the morning atmosphere at so
much per breath. Ira's great discOv-
cry was free to everybody. If l were
going to invent a cure for anything
I'd compound something that could be
put up in bottles and sold at a dollar
a throw. The man who invents a
fresh air cure Is running benevOlence
into the ground.
His cure vas so cheap that I de-
cided to try 1t, as I was suffering
from a broken heart and a sluggish
liver at that period. I set my alarm
clock for an hour before sunrise, and
got up in the pale, bleak dawn, and
put my head out Of the window to in
hale the prescribed hundred breaths.
I had reached the twenty-seventh
breath when a dissipated bee or wasp,
on its way home from a night Of rev.
elry, stung me on the nose, and / was
In such haste to put q porous plas-
ter on that organ that I didn't finish
the treatment, and tried 1t
again.
"But I knew many people who
claimed they were cured Of everything
from the humps, hoof and mouth dis
ease, by the hundred-breaths treat
ment.
There was a spring on my fathers
farm, and I doped it with %sulphuric
acid and q few other wholesome In
gradients, and then began selling the
water to the afflicted for ten cents a
tug. Some marvellous cures were eff
fected, Men hobbled there on
crutches to buy the healing fluid, and
when they left they threw thetr
clutches away.
"For a brief session I had more
small change than any boy IN the
county, but my father returned home
from a visit, and when he found out
what I had been doing, he inter
viewed me with a hickory pole, and for
a year or two I was busy paying back
the money I had collected from suf-
ferers. The people who had been
healed suffered a relapse as soon as
they heard the water was faxed;
which goes to show, Mrs. Jiggers. that
we are entitled to a better quality OF
butter on this table"
~ +, saEk-