davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1921-10-24
The Daily Novelette,.
A Promising Customer.

The man in the fur-lined coat
and diamond stickpin etrode into
the store of Kaffee Klatch & Bros.
Sons, dealers in delicatesseps and
catables.
What have you good today?" he
asked and looked around in a su-
percilious manner.
well, I have this imported Chi
nese cheese. but it is. quite expen-
sive, sir" answered Kaffee Klatch.
with alacrity, and showed him the
Chinese cheese.
Bother expense clustered the
fur-lined gentleman, IF it's good
cheese, I'll take IS worth" And
he helped himself to a half-pound
piece, took a bite. and put the rest
in leather bag he was carrying
Then we have these Scandina.
Wan kippered sardines that are
supposed to be. delicious" said
Kaffee Klatch.
I'll buy $40 worth of them if
they're good" he promised and
dropped seven 75-cent cans of
skippered sardines in his bag
What else have you gotr.
We'll, here are, some wonderful
canned pineapples," went on Kaf-
fee Klatch, apprehepsively.
The fur-lihed., gent dropped five
cans Of pineapple in after the
skippered sardines. And without
waiting to be shown anything else.
he went to the pretzel barrel, re-
duced its contents by several large
handfuls. scooped up five quarts 6f
dried apricots and was about to
lift long bologna sausage when
Kaffee Klatch. with a wild light in
his eyes, grabbed his arm. -
Wait a minute" he said, Il
haven't shown you our luscious
lemon cookies. TIL get some" And
he brought bag Of lemon cookies.
After sampling SIX lemon cookies
the fur-lined gent began to squirm.
At the ninth he began to hold his
stomach and at the twelfth he was
rolling over the floor in agony.
Excuse me-" said Kafee Klatch.
with peculiar smile. but must
have given you our rat poison
waters instead of the lemon cook
les. It's 80 easy to make . mis-
take Of that kind. Now II youli
be careful and not knock over that
pickle barrel while. you're rolliIn'
around. I'll call up for : nices clean
arnbulancs.
The fur-iined gent prSmised.
The Washington herald., 1921-10-24

Preparing for; College Football.
Written expressly for this news.
paper by
Lawrence II. whiting.
Captain. University of Chicago
Football Team, 1912.
The boy who is desirous of
making the University team will
do we'll to follow these instruc-
tions:
Learn the rules of football
thoroughly, for the man with
lesser ability, but who knows
the game, Is sometimes more
valuable than better man
physically who makes bonehead
plays.
Buildsu your physical endur-
ance by constant exercise and
by running until you have good
staying power. Superior endur-
ance has won many 2 football
game.
Learn how to start fast. from
standing position. Ability to
dig In quickly will make 1t pos
sible to overcome the advan-
tage of many pounds in weight
which your slower opponent
may have.
Learn how to tackle sure and
clean and to spill your man for.
q loss.
Learn to keep regular hours
during the football season.
Many university coaches are abb
solutely insistent upon this. u
Pass. throw and kick a foot
ball In such spare moments a.
You may have, so you will be
thoroughly familiar. with e
Learn how II is liable to bounce
or be Influenced by air currents.
The Washington herald., 1921-10-24
bar rail and have the same. But q,

bar rail- and have the same. But IL
isn't done that way any more.
To meet changed conditions Jo-
seph N. Levine. coalition candidate
for president of the Bronx, hit on
the idea of passing out in place of
the forbidden three star" and
cigars dainty mirrors which are
fashioned to slip into vanity cases.
why not?" he inquired. ITO
women they're a necessity and you
would be amazed how often they
come In handy for men.
Then. for the women, think
their minds work better IL they re
satisfied about their appearance.
They even worry about 1t at times,
SO IL they can take a look at theil
The Washington herald., 1921-10-24

the outside world as gossiped-that
Stephen Dale was nothing to her.
Should she jeopardize the desired
impression by acting in this silly.
childish. frightened fashloni
She flung up her head like thor
oughbred and laughed.
You silly imaginative soul! Why
Of course everything is all right. But
I'm walking with my head in the
clouds and you mustn't mind II seem
bit distrait. Remember. it's my
first marriage: next time I'll be able
to take IL more calmly"
Madeleine was convinced and for
bore further questioning. While she
finished dressing for dinner. she rat
tied on about the virtues Of Navy
husbands and the delights Of An
napolis hops.
"Of course, you'll be stationed at
charming places on account OF the
admiral. and you'll be the belle OF
the station-as usual. Do ask poor
little me to visit you when Alexis
on cruising. I've got to get a hus-
band this winter. Remember. this
Is my fourth season; another year.
and I'll be positively passe-"
Diana laughed.
Better not let Marjorie hear you.
She's around 40. and look at her.
Even the admiral seems crushed on
her. By the way, he's coming to
New York tomorrow to see u.s."
Hes a darling. Lucky Dill"
Lucky Dir"
The words brought a little bitter
smile to Diana's lips.
"And lucky Alex!" added Made
leine. busy with a powder pun.
Diana raised her eyes suddenly as
though a hand had touched her
shoulder.
For the first time it came home
to her that she had done Alex Leigh
great wrong.
She had been so completely alb
sorbed in her own unhappiness that
IL had never occurred to her to pity
Alex. Poor Alex, fatuous In his false
happiness,
What a little beast she was. she
thought She had deliberately given
Alex a wife who could never care
for him. To save her own pride,
The Washington herald., 1921-10-24
Mo'nlngMdge
CourfGhocs
'byRu0olpAHnAi,,s
! ia2aA
lQll[I8A&.
MARTHA NOT TO BLAME
FOR COAL DIsAPPEARING.

ron COAL DIsAPPEARING.
Once there was a ton Of coal.
II was reposing in the woodshed
I'm the rear of the home OF Roland
T. Jackson. at 1905 Seventh street
northwest
One day, Jackson claimed. he
ing. He watchd. II kept on NOV
ing until one-quarter of the ton
had disappeared. he claimed,
through a hole IN the side of the
shed.
A warrant sworn out by Jack
son against Martha Brooks, his
pext door neighbor. stated that
Martha was on the other side Of
she hole and was removing the coal
TO her kitchen
She was very Indignant when ar
rested and still more 30 when
put-up Job, Martha declared ana
kept on declaring.
She swore that all her neigh
bors were against her and were
trying their best TO make her
move away. She told Judge Nc
Mahon. that II she wanted coal she
went out and bought IT.
The case was continued once TO
allow a policemen 10 see IL he
could fnd the hole through which
the coal was said 20 have disap-
peared-
The policeman came back and re-
ported that IL there had been a
hole in Jackson's shed. Il must
have gotten up and moved away
because IL was not there now.
The Washington herald., 1921-10-24

noses before entering the voting
booths they are likely to be calm"
They're going to the moon In q
rocket
They say that the theory's sound.
But while I'll say nothing %
knock IL.
III stay with my feet on the
ground
We don't know much about this
French delfcacy.' .'but we believe we
would have to be pretty hungry to
eat snails.
Money was never more plentiful
nor harder to borrow than now.
The Washington herald., 1921-10-24
same Bee-same sting.

Sammy had just been stung by
a large bumble-bee. He was
giving vent to his feelings in
no quiet manner. when gentle-
man who Happened to be close,
by came up.
Sonny" said he isn't that
the bumble-bee that just stuns
your He pointed to one on
flower.
Sammy reached over. touched
the bee, and then began to ex-
press his feelings still louder.
rs It the oner asked the gen.
t1eman.
"Yfy-y-es," replied Sammy be-
tween sobs. II g-g-guess s-s-so;
Il f-f-felt like him."
The Washington herald., 1921-10-24

Modern Epitsphs.
Under the sod
Lies Deacon Hale;
He winked and drank
Some Ginger Ale."
Here he sleeps.
One Johnny Fonker;
He rounded a turn
Without q honker.
President Obregon says he Is
going to reduce the Mexican army
by one-half He can do that very
easily by eliminating the generals.
MaPcelette.
Aladdin is the SON Of . poor
tailor and Is considered a SCATTER
Drained" child. He plays on the
streets with ragamuffins and only
comes home to meals. He Is care
less, selfish and thoughtless. At
the age of Is he steals a lamp
from a pushcart peddler. Being OF
a mechanical turn of mind, he in
vents a device which perfects the
lamp. This he manages to get pat
ented and a company Is formed.
Aladdin becomes rich and happy.
The story Of the Forty Thieves
deals with the men who helped
Aladdin organize the company ana
float the stock.-Marcel Stein
brugge.
Poison gas such as was used in
the war will now be turned into
perfume, but there are some people
who doubtless would prefer the
poison gas.
TIE Disappointed Vamp.
She wed a multi -millionaire
OF fourscore years and ten.
She thought she'd be a widow soon,
He was so old, and then
He played the meanest trick on her.
The Washington herald., 1921-10-24
CHAPTER XIV.
Good Resolutions.

Good Resolutions.
Diana went down the corridor to
her own room after leaving Mar
fficting emotions
She hated Marjorie for her cas-
ual assurance about Stephen Dale:
she believed that she almost hated
Dale for his Indifference: she hated
Alex Leigh for the situation he
had got her into by proposing to
her after that stormy scene with
Dale: she hated Sylvia for grab
bing up Ted Saunders: she hated
herself for being such q fool
But deep within her was the
ache OF her own pride and hope
less love for Dale.
Madeline Davis met her at the
door of their suite and swooped
down upon her.
"Oh, Di. you sly creature" she
cried. kissing her enthusiastically.
The way you pretended indifference
to Alex last EVENING" Going out
and gazing at the moon and telling
me at that very moment that you
didn't care IL you never saw him
again.
Diana submitted resignedly to
nGE cllOEaIC. DhC CfCh anu
tried to look triumphant. but it
was a miserable failure. Madeleine.s
sharp eyes were difficult to de-
, ceive.
whats the matter. DIP" she de-
manded frankly. why the doleful
/, air! Don't tell me you and Alex
have rowed already?"
Diana shook her head and moved
away. She wanted desperately to
be alone. The thought of having
presently to go downstairs and
be congratulated and kissed and
gazed at by a score of people filled
her with dismay. She needed time
to adjust herself to the inevitable.
to put on a smiling mask.
But Madeleine followed her de-
terminedly.
You can't fool me, There's
something terribly wrong! What
is it7"
For a moment Diana controlled
4 an irresistible impulse to shiek the
truth. to cry out:
Everything Wrong.
Yes. everything is wrong! I've
ruined my lifen I've married a
man I don't care a fig about tn
save my pride because I flung nv
self at the head of the man love
and was refusedi And I'm fright
ened to death at what I've done
That's what's wrongv'
But she got control Of herself
Immediately.
II would have been a tragedy to
have the sacrifice she had made
fer her pride be in vain
What was IL Ted had saId7
We've got to play the game. Dir"
And she must!
She had married Alex to show the
beVans house party-and such of
The Washington herald., 1921-10-24
ON THE SPUR OF THE MOMENT
By ROY X. MOULTON.

Twas tough. you will allow.
He had some sheep glands grated
Cheer up.
The Washington herald., 1921-10-24
The
Involuntary
Vanp
Continued From Yesterday.
By Mildred K. Barbour

Centinaed From Yesterday.
"Ali- right" she shrugged, but
don't be surprised IL something like
that happens some day"
what on earth are you talk ng
abouty demanded Marjorie.
But Diana had already gone.
The Washington herald., 1921-10-24

"A thick tightly blanket with light downy Every
made from WOOL and bound separately silk binding
Sold snsy IT in pairs
The Washington herald., 1921-10-24
Now for Warm Blankets
and Comforts

CO L OR ED STRIPED
c r I N X L E d DIMITY
BEDSPREADS; they laun-
der as easily as a sheet and
the colorings make a pleas
ant change from the usual
white spread Of the average
home. In subtle tones of
blue, pink, yellow and green.
71xoo. $a.7s, and Soxoo at So.
The Washington herald., 1921-10-24

u w Z = S-E1 n X
BLANKETS; this type of
blanket is said by those ia
miliar with its merit to be
the greatest luxury in bed
covering, and we believe you
will think they are, too, when
YOU examine the fine ones we
show. Extreme warmth and
> minimum weight. Size 72xs4.
$50 pair.
The Washington herald., 1921-10-24

Money was never more plentiful
nor harder to borrow than now.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1921-03-09
Questions-Anstuers

Q. How long would 1t take an aero.
plane to go around the world, travelling at
the rate of 100 miles an hour?-N. o.
A. 1t would depend upon the latitude
at the rate of 100 miles an hour would
circle the globe at the equator in 10 days
hours, of which time about three fourths
parallel of latitude 10 degrees north the
time would be days, s hours, OF which
slightly less than one-half would be over
water
Q. What do the initials c. T. mean on
freight cars after the number Pc. c. D.
A. The initials mean Columbia Trust
and were placed on all cars built under the
United States railroad administration. :,
today, and forever?"-G. w. T.
A. The wording of the Sth verse of the
James Version of the Bible is quite near
the quotation yeu send.
@. When did the restriction on the use
of gasoline on Sunday go into effect and
how long did 1t last III. Y.
A The order made by the fuel admins
tration during the war in regard to the
restriction of using, gasoline on sundays
was not compulsory restriction, but
tain parts of the country. This went into
effect August q; 1918. and was withdrawn
8: what i s meant by the Bride of the
a. The River Moselle, tributary of
the Rhine is known as the Bride of the
Rhine.
| O. who holds the worlds record for
speed on the typewriter and how many
words per minute did he write?-J-C d.
A The last contest for typewrfting was
an open contest at Madison Square Garden
Business show in the Fall of 1920. This
contest was won by George l.. Hossfield,
the record being 131 words per minute net
and 7,S43 words per hour.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1921-03-09

animation. a fact that indicates. in the
opinion of the United States public
health service officers, that they are
certainly not higher than those that
would be obtained by similar surveys
in other states. 1t is considered
greatly to Oregon's credit that it has
been one of the first states to realize
the importance of the problem and to
take effective steps toward ascertain
ing the exact facts concerning it.
The survey was authorized by the
Oregon legislature and was carried out
by the University of Oregon in coilab-
Grafton with DR.. C. L. Carlisle of the
United States public health service.
THE making of the survey" said
Surgeon General H. S. Cumming, "was
not an easy task. for in Oregon, as in
many other states, comparatively few
of the types involved are being cared
ly scattered and were practically un-
known, for most of them are quiet
and do not attract attention as do the
insane and criminal. 1t was therefore
necessary to build an organization to
find them and report on them"
AS there was little money to pay
trained workers, Doctor Carlisle en-
listed volunteers. largely among the
professional classes in every part OF
the state, and thru these, found the
people sought and collected data con-
corning their behavior. present his
tory. school history, social relations
whether dependent. delinquent or
and the cause of their
condition
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1921-03-09
THE SUBMERGED CLASSES.

! For years public health officials
have concerned themselves only with
the disorders of physical health; but
now they are turning their attention
to mental health also. In Oregon has
been prosecuted the first statewide
survey to disclose the enormous drain
on a state caused by mental defects.
That more than $4,000 men. women
ana children out of a total population
OF 7s3,00o are dependents. delin-
quents, or feeble minded and are un-
able either to work or fight and are a
constant drain on the finances, health
and morality of the state is the start
ling result.
Moreover more than 500 schoolgirl.
dren out of total school enrolled pop
ulation OF s2,5o0 were found to be
more or less mentally deficient. = fact
which is of much significance when
it is remembered that the condition
OF the children of today is the best
possible index to the condition OF the
community of tomorrow and indeed
to the future of the race.
The figures yielded by the Oregon
survey are considerably lower than
the average shown by the draft ex-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1921-03-09
George MottheD Adams.
Daily Talk
GRACEFUL couRTEsrEs.


The fragrance of the rose or violet
mas never been patented. IT has been
extracted, concentrated and initiated
put the secret of its mysterious sweet
ness, its deiicacy of odor, is held by the
Keeper of Nature alone.
But believe that even more than
this fragrance 1 appreciate the manner
in which it is distributed 1t comes
from the little nests of the petals so
unafraid, so freely and SO naturally
and lasts even after. the rose itself has
wIthered and dropped its leaves to the
earth-bed below.
The courtesies of the children of the
fields are SO graceful, They toll not,
neither do they spin. yet I say that
solomon in all his glory was not ar
rayed like one of thesei''
What a world this would be if only
everyone could feel that he didn't have
to do everything lust so" or according
to some rule or set of rules. Many of
us get tangled up in them and lose our
way.
It's the graceful ceurtesies that are
simply born in q man or woman that
make them real and genuine.
And it's the veneers and pretensioBs
of an insincere society that lose us in
a maze of unrealities
I am amused by the trials at form
and notwithstanding, as / do,
that the man or woman is merely
walking thru some imitation of what
they stupidity believe to be the fright
thing
The right things is always the nat
'ura1 tfing-the graceful courtesy that
is felt, the honesty of purpose that
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1921-03-09
JUST FOLKS
By EDGAR A. GUEST.
A CERTAIN MAN.

A CERTAIN MAN.
cherish the picture of man
Who has not been, but is TO be.
His cheek is bronzed by the summer tan
And his smile is fair to see.
His word Is good and his heart Is true
And be loves the old red, white and blue.
vision him oft and where'er he goes
Glad voices give him warm hello.
The trust of the little ones he knows
And respect of friend or foe.
For never the scarlet mark Of shame
Has marred his record or touched his
name.
He walks the world In kindly way.
He laughs when the jest Is fair.
The wide outdoors are his field ef~play
And he loves the beauties there.
He hears Gods word in the whisperin {
trees
And the song of birds and the drone. of
bees.
talk TO him oft when the night is still,
1 think of him day by day:
He hasn't arrived, but l pray be will
When his youth has passed away.
AID what is his name and who is hep
The mah that hope my son will be.
Copyright, 1921, by Edgar A GuestJ
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1921-03-09
LITTLE BENNY'S NOTE BOOK

Pop was smoaking and thinking and
I was thinking, saying, q pop, the rain
certeny came down fearse this morn
ing. dident it. pop?
Fearse is putting 1t mildly, sed pop,
and the werst part of it was that it
dident start till after I had left the
house without my umbrella, watts the
good of having a bran new umbrella
if the rain don't start till after you
leeTe the house?
It started before left, pop, but
wat good did that do me. pop, because
1 couldent find my umbrella, 1 sed.
o well, wen / was your age ] awffen
went out in the rain without an um-
berella and it never bert me eny, sed
pop.
Yes sir, ony dident ixackly go out
without a umbrella. pop, because J
yours.
The doose you say, my bran new
6 dollar umbrella? sed pop.
Yes sir, that's the ony one you got.
amt it. pop? 1 sed. and pep sed, I'm
doing the questioning Jest now, thawt
that umbrella, I thawt l bawt you a
new umbrella Expressly SO you
wouldent haff to toutch mine. Well
anyway, Ill forgive you this time be-
cause you. told me about 1T. I'm glad
to see you have that mulch strength
of caracter, but never take that UNI
bereiia out agen, do you understand
Yes sir, ony L wouldeHt take it out
agen anyway. pep. / don't think envy
body would, pop. because it wouldent
do eny good I sed-
= Vets all this MYSTERY, wy weuldent
it? sed pep.
Because it blew inside out on me,
1 sed.
WITCH it did, and ] reminded pop
about times about him saying he
would forgive me this time, but ii
dident have eny effect.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1921-03-09

neither Matte nor Cyril appeared to
have the better of the oratoricai russie-
They strobe back and forth across
the floor, gesticulating to emphas.ze
their remarks, for all the world IKE
two debaters settling the fate OF the
world. until suddenly the funny SIDE
aof the situation dawned on them
simultaneously and both broke out
laughing.
Il forgot where was" he said.
apologet.cally.
$50 did L" she confessed, and they
parted good friends. but with the mat
ter they had discussed apparently as
unsettled as when they started.
She's altogether too set on having
her own way" Cyril told himself as
he walked toward his boarding house.
Let's see. the Times is published to-
morrow morning. Maybe l can get
there in time tonight to slip something
into the edition ia better see the
county clerk, too. Yes, Matties stub
born. but she has a wise head-bettsr
than have at that. She's right about
this thing. that's evident
The next morning Cyril arrived at
his office rather late, and found the
Weekly Times" spread out on his
desk. BY accident the tousle-haired
office boy had placed it right side up.
and a three-column headline staring
UP at him arrested his attention before
he took time to settle in his chair:
The headline was:
MATTE SHELDON AND CYRIL
HOLMES BOTH DROP OUT OF
POLITICAL RACE.
Talk about surprises" Cyril ex-
claimed They certainly are coming
thick and fast. l WONDER
This is Matte" said the voice on
the wire. How does it happen You
withdrew from the race for nomina-
i did it because You convinced me
IN your argument yesterday" ne
answered. After listening TO Your
flood of oratory / rendered a verdi Il
| in your favor ana Immediately act.
upo nit. But how come you're out oe
| it?"
| You convinced me. too" she told
nun. VOW what are We going to do
about itg We can't very well recent ar
| the race: that is you can't, and
can't, either"
The office door opened noisiIy. and
with the receiver to his ear CYRIL
turned to see the tousle-haired office
boy. '-'N
Mr.. Jackson to see you, sir" said
the boy, ION important business"
Cyril felt a thrill of exultation Mr..
jackson had just been made defendant
in an important lawsuit. Cyril had
never dared to hope that he would be
! "Well-,' said Matte at the other
end of the wire.
We'll" Cyril said into the mouth
piece of the phone, there's just one
thing for US to do, / guess. I've just
got word that makes me think things
are coming my way, and L believe a
private law practice would be best
after all--if one is ambitious enough.
But two heads are better than one: so
let's form a law partnership. With
your help l ought to get away with
some big things"
"whatll we call the firm?" she in
quired.
sheldon G Holmes he returned.
mo, there's a better one. What do
lyou say to Holmes & Holiness"
| He listened eagerly She seemed a
long time answering.
''That suits me-" she finally said.
land Cyril sighed deeply and gratefully
as he set down the phone and turned
to the office boy.
~"Show Mr. Jackson in" he directed.
and got very busy with some useless
papers on his desk.
(Copyright, 1921, by the Mcclure
Newspaper Syndicate.)