New-York tribune., 1921-05-08
Matrinlony Is Not To Be Lightly
or Unadpisedly approached, but
the Really Serious Thing in Life Is
the Engagement Announcement


brides and three u. S. Presidents"
The bands and orchestras and quartets and
trios that desired to supply music for the we'd
ding would have taken in line Of march several
hours to pass a given point. 1t took at least
that long to get rid of all their representatives
who called.
There were Hungarian bands, balaIaika or
chestras, jazz quartets, coon shouters and banjo
experts. Several well known vocalists-they
said they Were-wanted to sing to US. Most of
the hotels offered to let us have their rnu-
sicians if we'd be considerate enough to have
the ceremony at some time when they weren't
needed at the hostelries.
Belshazzar himself might have been swed
at the talent assembled for the avowed purpose
OF making our wedding a spectacular affair
Persons engaged in refined vaudeville wrote
offering to add dash of humor to the occasion,
and we also had the privilege of engaging q
dyspeptic looking mystery in iowery kimono.
who, according to the text below the photo
graph, would consent for a considerable cou-
slderation to demonstrate only the scientific
principles Of vibration of numbers, astroIogy.
palmistry, psychology, character reading and
everything pertaining to Eastern occultisn.' =
Gentlemen of surprising importantly begged
US to go into the movies-not as professionals,
though wonder how they resisted that after
seeing Altaea. They wanted us to have the
wedding fIlmed-at some expense, of course
Tor the sake OF our personal posterity.
An Eternal Record of Events" was the
heading on a pamphlet brought by one moving
picture man whose conversational gifts caves
the Blanks an entirely new impression of the
silent drama. The pamphlet continued.
Sympathetic souvenirs of events df cne,s
life are made eternal records by the cinema.
What would you give to-day to see pictures
ON the screen of yourself as child with your
parents? Your children and your chiidrer's
children can watch at will the ceremonies
OF your own wedding day.
After mastery oration to the unhaprv
Blanks the movie man went the grun1blifs. way
OF the rest of the rejected emissaries Some
times we almost regret that we didn't have the
ceremony tllmed, though what we world do
with the record we can't imagine. Our regret
IS not for the sake of our chidren's children. i
Tor the affalr is really none of their business.
Dut Tor our own vindication. Our memory of
Snat awe-flled fifteen minutes is CT the vaguest.
and perhaps the films might have refuted the
statement made at times by Althea under ex-
trerne provocation that we stood at the altar
with the dash and gallant demeanor of d boiled
Goldfish. Perhaps, after all, it is just as well
that posterity is going to miss seeing our we'd
ding.
SO, through advertisements and letters of
appeal and prospectuses and brochures and
postcards and invitations to inspect we drifted
along toward The Day, carrying on rum
ming fight with agents of practically every
one in town who had anything to sell.
On the morning of The Day we arrived at
the home of the brides parents in the tradi-
tlonal serni-conscious state to find that the
fury that had pursued us since that potent an
nouncement had appeared months before had
done it's worst at the final moment.
The peace and Joy which should have how
cred over the domicile on that morning had
been considerably dislocated by a photogra-
piers fight, due indirectly to the failure at
the crucial moment of the Blanks to say snof,
firmly enough. In consequence two camera
men had appeared just as Althea was being
hurried into her bridal array and each had
insisted that he had the exclusive right to the
bridal pictures.
The argument which ensued between the
rivals was witnessed by our future family-in-
law and corps of caterers assistants with
varying degrees of horror and entertainment.
1t only ended when our father-in-law-to-b re-
inforced by the janitor, cast two strong-lan-
guaged Lucifers out of badly dislocated para
disc.
One Of our first clear recolections when it
was all over was the passionately reiterated
mo, no, no" of Athea. Alarmed, we cleared
our blurred eyesight and found that the re-
mark was directed toward letter that had
Just come and not to the minister, who, we saw.
had completed his work. This missive con-
tanned a stamped and addressed envelope and
a blank as large as draft questionnaire ser
ting forth;
The Sphere desires to print an accurate
account of your wedding. VIII you kindly
answer the following questions and mail the
reply at once to The Sphere?"
IT WON'T" said Althea almost tearfulIy.
With the utmost fervor we and the harassed
and worn Blank family assured her that she
need not.
Poor girl, she had learned by weeks Of bit-
Gerness how advertising pays.
And in the case Of engagement announces
msnts es well as In nnelodramas, it's the woman