White Pine news. [volume] (East Ely, Nev.) 1920-1923, 1921-02-13
WAuMes
Of DISCOUNTED man
(By JOE FINLEY.

IOTtdUie cndiT III the OHlce, luul
those Busy Boys in Washington. Dis
tiict of Coma, has decided not to
iother the Home Brewers at present.
They knock the practice. y'under-
stand, but they amt gonna insist on
the closed shop idea AT Present.
Why don't them guys announce to
the well-known world that they amt
gonna try 10 make a racehorse out of
q mule, AT Present" hey? Tell EN-
stork. you kid the world.
They get a brilliant wrinkle in
their domes, once in a while. down in
that mans snail town. If Old Fool
ish, whose been give the handsome
lii old job of regulatin' the LIQUID
appetite OF a whole lot of regular
people that like TO pursue a little
happiness now and then would only
look like lie wanted Ia wish to try to
make an EFFORT to pull off any Of
fensiye like V~olsteadizing the family
brewery. I'm telling you, not nashin'
my teeth nor weeping or wailing.
jest tellin' you, the late and widely
advertised war would only lie q
minor disturbance compared to the
busy little time we'd all enjoy, and
the famous remark heard so often
in all barber shops. Amt things
quiet?' would become history like the
sayings OF NebercudsneeZer or some
other dead one. Putting the lid on
The Home Brew would be like sprink-
ling salt on the Humin' Birds tail
when he's shakin' the shimmy; you
couldn't make IL stick. +.
An while I'm so talkatiye | might
go or to the point with pride. that |
got a slim idea
Slim is right Interrupted the
Judge. AN idea would of necessity
be of the most minute proportions to
find Judgment In al area SO definitely
circumscribed and surrounded by in
genous matter. To you follow me-"
NO. but | will oon as ! get what 5
coming TO me, replied the Kid,
breathing hard and giaring bale
fully. And If they amt 10 o
witty savings from the Parlour Boil
shevist. continued the Kid. sarcas-
tically. III go on and finish so as
you'll be able to talk the rent mar
10 death BY telling him what you
once heard n wise guy say. an maybe
he'll get so interested he'll forget
what he came after and couldn't get.
"All the talk about this being the
Hand of the Free don't amount 10 a
white check In a seven-handed game
Of Pan. If the mere smell OF yeast
malt and old sox coming from the
family range gives some bird with 4
tin star the right TO irish the prem
ises. Free nothint They amt moth
ing free any more since they took
away the lunch. except the air. and I
get the word they are taking that to
distill something out of to Kill the
Germans with. There's a little Alto
gether too much of this r~egulatin 4.
controlling and probing and med
ding with other folks own b%usipess:
i; S getting so pretty soon you IL have
TO have a permit to have the wife
boil a coupla eggs. or maybe cook a
little ham and spinach. Liberty's got
too many bonds and strings at
tached TO IL. and say, If that reporter
didn't get mis- dipthongs crossed his
tory would have showed hat what
Fat Henry said as Gimme Home
Brew. or gimme death. Anyway
that's what he had in mind when he
made the holler.
The trouble is We let a lot of
dumb bells. long on hair and short
on brains. run the show for US. The
home OF the braves got too many
sanctimonious sanctifieationists Who
lJorget that hair was made to cut at
least now and then, and who think
they been give the portfolio by the
Lord 10 drag the millennium in by the
seat of the trousers with h aid OF
Act number Eighteen. Those kind
OF guys believe everybody else ought
er have indigestion just because they
can't look a hunek of corn beef and
alb no 80 thu faans and shoU thfnk
they'yd been divinely ordained TO
stop regular folks fro drinking
things out of cut glass with seller on
the side, handed out by a guy all
dressed up in his sunday clothes an
IA clean shave: they force US TO drink
the present celebrated brand out of n
clearinghouse cup in a place where
the only decorations on the wall is
signs saying something about Pink
Pills for Pusilanimous People.
Every time | hear n of them
bambinos moaning about how wicked
the people is. | stick my head into
Tho old jeans and grab hold of the
dollar eighty-fve I'm saving up. They
oughter be a Law making 1t a crime
to be a bird like that. That's the
kind of guys who, when the gen.
darmes are not around, loot the vii
lage bank or elope with the movie
vamp to escape from the domestic
difficulties OF the h~ard-boiled wife.
Believe me. Judge Old Thing. they
win the handsome cheese harp.
"They's a few. Ill admit, whose
on the square Is far as it goes, but
that's only because their non compos
mentis is all gummed UP like a kids
face after exploring a jar of jam;
they get the big idear that things can
be all fixed up and curing what they
think is ailing us. by saying "Naught,
naughty and then IL we don't be-
have accordin' to their idea, they
want to take us all to the cleaners,
Gee, II every person that's shown
his love and affection for things con
tanning more than n half of one per