The New York herald., 1921-12-04

religion. | was even willing to grant that
they were "big" and that was small"
(To be big was the great ambition in
those days, even as 1t is now).
At one stage of the game l was rather
sorry to be small; but the thing seemed to
be a matter of fate-inevitable! And
finally I became resigned. In retrospect I
can see that this was partly because I was
constantly differing from Braun and
Graefsky in certain fundamentals. But
what may have made me really immune
mot to take too much credit to myself)
was little matter OF having been all the
while in love with an unpoetic, practical
man of affairs who regarded all radicals as
mere nuts"
were taking me to Carnegie Hall to
hear Eugene Debs. discussing on
the way his probable exciting effect on such
o high strung, sensitive nature as mine.
As we entered the crowded place, certainly
l was all keyed up. But afterward, as we
three sat on bench in the park, found
myself curiously let down and saying de-
d
cited, violent child. He's not even logical
He's almost pathetic"
Graefsky threw up his hands in disgust
and said, Bourgeois to the core! 1 give
you up" l was genuinely sorry.
But not at ALL" smiled Braun. Il hold
on to you tight. You may not be full
fedged Socialist, but you are a Socialist
sympathizer Now, aren't your"
"Of course I am" I declared eagerly
Haven't I shown that? Don't l always
fight your battles with the narrow minded?
Don't l like lots of things about Socialism
even though 1 don't join the party?"
She'll do. She'll do!" Braun cried.
Don't be donkey Lou"
Thus | achieved my title of Socialist
ympathizer-better known to-day as Parlor
Socialist-and Lou, Frightening up, began
to discuss the Oriental rhythm of "The
Love Lyrics of India
Here if anybody should ask But how
could you influence people toward a move
ment of which you, yourself understood so
little?" I could only answer that what
did understand of Socialism (the shorter
working hours, higher wages, better work
ing conditions, &C., which now recognize
as mere trimmings" likely to attract all
right minded persons) those seemed to
me the backbone of the entire philosophy.
Certainly nothing in the Wells-Zueblin
books of the period made me doubt that
the Socialist, brotherhood OF man goal was
to be reached altogether through these and
other reform measures. And even though
| had looked through the socalled Bible of
the Socialists-The Communist Manifesto.
body encouraged me to study the somewhat
involved style or the unfamiliar words and
phrases which Socialist literature affects.
If, ar example, / read in the Manifesto
that the Socialist state expected to Eek
propriate' private property, l took for
granted that if they proposed confiscation
they naturally also planned reimburse
ment. Once when Graefsky saw the little
pamphlet in my hands he said doubtfully
to Braun.
''Is she ready for the Manifesto?"
Braun chuckled. ooh, let her have it,
She won't necessarily read through the dull
stuff anyway. She takes us on faith. She
won't join us, but she's working for us
just the same"
Clever Braun! How right he was even
in his frankness I can see now. OF course,
il I had indeed studied the Manifesto
(Which indulges in some unusually definite
statements) I should have experienced a
little revolution OF my own AS it was if
any one had told me that the Socialist
Bible" advocated the confscation of all pri-
vate property-wlthout any remuneration
and the gradual overthrow by violence of
all captalistic governments including our
own should surely have laughed. AS
Braun had said, took my people on faith!
w 7 ELL, then, on the compromise
w plank of a Socialist sympathizer
drifted on for some years, even
after something happened to make me
doubt the personal sincerity of my Socialist
guides. This came about through Sarah
Blank, the olive skinned, smooth haired
serpentine young Russian, whom had met
through them. From the first had felt
somewhat repelled by Sarah. but forgot
this in my admiration for her cleverness
and certain high courage which she had.
Candor was Sarah's habit, and she was
fond of boasting that not alone did she be-
lieve in free love, but meant to live UP to
her belief whenever she really fell in love.
What is the mere marriage ceremony
she would ask, with her lazy smile and q
twist of her lazy body from the depths of
the couch cushions OF the bare little fiat