The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1921-02-03

QeIy the CODVen-
Hons, and get relief the best wa he
ban"
~ can understand Just how It has
worried you" said the ~hOtelkeeper.
'Tbe fact that you couldn't reach
tround and claw the itching place
With your fingers kept the matter
fresh In your memory and got on your
bervcs. The pursuit Of the unattain-
tble always Is more interesting to us
han the easier work close to hand.
You had your whole person to scratch,
ind might have bought a currycomb
TOR a quarter, and had a good time, but
tou couldn't be happy until you had
eached the n inaccessible spot.
"A while ago I imagined I had
leart disease, and went and saw the
lOctOr. He knows / have money In
he bank, and am considered good pay,
70 he confirmed my worst fears, and
hade up his mind to have me for his
tar patient, until one of us petered
tut. He threw an awful scare into me,
p that I went home sweating Ice cold
brcus lemonade.
HE gave me some medicines and a
pit Of instructions. Among them was
he to the effect that when | went to
ed l should always sleep on my right
pde. He cautioned me over and over
gain against laying on my left side,
nd left the impression that If 1 dis
beyed him, I'd wake up some morn
bg to find myself a candidate for a
bral horseshoe.
'That matter looked easy at the
Ime, and / assured the doctor I'd fol-
bw his bylaws to the letter. When
went to bed that night, l stretched
but on my right side. and In ten min
ties I was Just suffering to roll over.
don't believe I ever had such q
Ankering for anything. II seemed to
be the height Of human happiness
Fould lie In sleeping on ones left side.
followed instructions for two nights,
md then I decided that life wasn't
Forth such sacrifices, and I rolled Over
md slept on my left side, and nothing
happened. I was feeling better than
Usual next morning when / got up.
"Of curse this experience lessened
nv confidence In the doctors inStruc-
ions, and l concluded that If | was
soing to sidestep the instructions I
night as well sidestep the medicines,
TOO. for they tasted like low life in a
Chinese alley, and I threw the whole
pt out of the window. Thus the saw
Jones lost his most promising patient
because he handed out a rule that
wasn't strictly necessary.
speaking Of the u~nattainable, do
FOu know what's the matter with Silas
Furbelow? He has everything a man
kOuld ask, a stranger in the town
would say. He has a beautiful home
md a wife who would be considered a
Duccess anywhere, and he has festoons
bf money where it will do the most
good.
"Yet he has a secret sorrow. I
think he's the most melancholy man /
ever saw, and his trouble is that he
rant raise a good stand of whiskers.
Nowadays, vixen whiskers are consid-
pred an infirmity, 1t seems strange
that any man should grieve over such
/ matter.
"He sends all over the United
States for hair growers, and half the
time his face Is blistered or swollen,
Ind still the whiskers won't grow on
him. If some miracle happened, and
be woke up some morning to find his
eountenance all covered with whiskers,
he'd probably have them shaved off
within a week but because they won't
grow, he won't be happy till he gets
Them"