Atlanta tri-weekly journal. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1920-19??, 1921-09-17

a MIDDLE-AGED woman, who IS sue
~ cessful and highly paid teacher, said
A the other day:
81 regard poets and novelists as the great
est enemies to the feminine sex, because they
have made us slaves to the deluslon OF ro-
mantle love. From our cradles up we are
taught to look forward to romantic love as
the very crown of our existence, and to be-
lieve that if we have it, we have everything,
and that if we have it not have missed
everything, no matter what other blessings
we may possess.
$50 tmbued with this false doctrine are
women that they are willing to sacrifice
whole lifetime Of commonplace comfort, and
peace, and we'll being, for hour of roman
tic love, and when it is over they spend the
balance OF their days beating on their breasts
and bemoaning their loss. Or else the ystart
out on still hunt for a second supply of ro-
mantle love, and they generally seek it along
devious ways that gets them into trouble.
Now take my own case, for instance. I
am a very warm-hearted and affectionate
individual, with well marked domestic ten
denotes. like to keep house, and cook, and
fuss over people, and the only reason that
1 haven't got house. and husband, and
children instead of a kitchenette, and cat,
and roomful of books, is because l am
victim Of the romantic love fallacy.
when 1 was girl had plenty of beaux,
and many opportunities to marry good, fine
men. One or two of these men l liked ire
and found them congenial and sympathetic.
1 felt the warmest friendship for them, but
didn't have thrills and chills every time
they came near me. I didn't agonize every
minute they were out of my sight, and feel
that l would commit suicide if anything hap
pened to one of them.
Therefore, because | experienced none OF
the symptoms of romantic love as set forth
in my favorinte novels and poems. 1 decided
that 1 was not in love, and said, No, when
they popped the question. l was waiting
for the lightning to strike me, and to have
that be-still-my-beating-h feel
ing which all the lady loves in the six best
sellers experience and which is the earmark
of romantic love- But the wild appeal never
came. My heart never skipped beat over
any man, and the years drifted by, and pres
emily l found myself out of the zone of ro-
nance, for good and all.
"Then / realized that had been following
will-O'-the-w1sp. I was of the phlegmatlc,
common sense type that is not given to hys-
terics nor emotional appeal, and had wasted
my life in waiting for something to happen
to me that could never possibly occur. For
hadn't a thrill in my system. l couldn't pal
plate over any man, but what / could have
given some man was warm, loyal, devoted
friendship that would have been mighty
comfortable thing for both of u.s.
"And I wonder if there are not lot of
other women in my class, who are making
the same mistake that did, and who are
| fusing to marry men who come up to their
ideals because they don't strike some roman
into heavenly music. They forget that peo-
pie whose feet are planted solidly on the
ground are very seldom swept off of them.
after all, respect, and congeniality, and
suitability make far better capital on which
| to marry than does romance, for romance is
as 1eeting as the dew on the grass, but re-
spect and congeniality, and suitability are the
solid rock upon which to found a home.
cit is impossible that romance should sur
vive the honeymoon. A man and woman can
have no illusions about each other when they
live at close quarters, and see each other
sick, and disheveled, and unshorn, and in
| curl papers, al when they have to wrestle
| together the high cost of living, and the collie,
and when their temperaments clash, and they
have to endure each others relatives.
Then romance goes by the board, and il
| they can not comma each others genuine
respect for real character; if they have not
the same taste and interests In life; if they
do not belong to the same lodge and have
the same passwords, then that marriage is a
failure
Gin the end, every successful marriage
comes to be a great friendship-the sort OF
| friendship that was defined by the little boy
who said that friend was person who
knew all about you, and liked you, anyway.
so why should friendship and comradeship
not be enough to begin housekeeping on?
Romantic love makes us see men and
women surrounded by a halo that causes
them to look like angels and demigods.
Friendship enables us to see them just as
they are, with all their faults and virtues
thick upon them Certainly it looks it
we would have lot better chance of happi-
ness if we picked out life partners when
we were sane and sensible and with our eyes
open, instead of doing it in delirium, and
guided by vision.
And the point is, that so many men and
women never marry because they are consti-
tutionally incapable of seeing visions and are
afraid to trust their common sense
"Worse still, the women who do marry
make themselves miserable by trying to keep
themselves and their husbands up to emo
tonal pitch that nobody can hold long any
time. When they find that they no longer
have chills and fever every time they think
of their husbands, they conclude that they
are no longer in love, and when their hus-
bands begin to bring home roasts to them
instead of violets, they wall out that they are
no longer loved. It's the demand for the
eternally romantic that causes half the sor-
row in women's lives.
81 am not decrying romance. Romantic love
is the cocktail of life and undoubtedly stimu-
lates your appetit- for matrimony, but you
can't make whole meal of it. And you can
do very comfortably without it,
dorothy Dix's articles appear in this
newspaper every Monday, Wednesday and
Friday.)
Copyright, 1921, by The Wheeler Syndicate,
YAY ~r0D~YA