Omaha daily bee., 1921-05-07

tic. persistent, and each OF them con-
WINGED that the adoption of his plan
~ device would bring the war to a
victorious end within few weeks.
Ne dared not turn any of them away
the first time, since no one could
tell until some inquiry had been
made whether the most unlikely look
ing person might not have a really
worthwhile proposal to offer. But
once the impossible crank and the
impractical theorist were discovered
and labeled in the mind. Of the de-
partment, steps were taken to pre-
vent their wasting precious time of
busy officials by renewed visitations.
Idea Worth Millions.
As | was discussing department
business with bureau chief one day,
the telephone rang. and a clerk said
long distance" was calling. He did
not catch the namely clearly. but
thought it was Mr.. Ford. ] found
in a moment that it was not the
famous Detroit automobile maker,
for the man at the other end of the
line began talking blue streak,
starting out with the declaration:
I've invented thing that will
wipe out the submarine; I've got
something that positively will end
the war" ....
He seemed quite excited about it.
asked him what it was. He said
he could not tell me over the phone,
or intrust the secret to mails or tele-
graph.
Send it to Our inventions board"
| suggested.
Not on your life!" he replied.
They might steal it, and I'd never
set the credit for it. It's worth mil
lions, millions!'
He said he would never show i. 10
but three people-the president, Mr..
Edison and myself; and all three.
must give the pledge of secrecy.
There's not moment to be lost.
and | want to bring it to Washing
ton myself" he exclaimed; but /
must. be careful. If the Germans
l;ncw l had this. their spies would
murder me-"
Wire $1,000 at Once.
".All right, bring it on" remarked.
Send me $1,000 by telegraph this
afternoon, and I'll start tomorrow"
he demanded. Accustomed as | was
to queer propositions this did rather.
startic me. "No, no. replied em-
phatically: 81 can't do that"
DO Won mean to say"-hc seemed
to be surprised-''that you won't
send me measly little $4,000 when
the thing l have is worth millions,
and will end the war;"
That's correct" | said, rather
sharply, l fear: 1--WE will not send
anybody a dollar of government
money until we know whit it is for"
We'll, that's the smallest piece
OF business | ever heard OF" he
snapped. 81 thought you were some
sccretary--and now | believe all the
means things the newspapers have
said about you"
One of my office aids figured ou.
that this irate citizen had spent about
$50 in telephone tolls. We never
heard from him again and the in
vention that would end the war was
lost to the world.
The "Porcupine Boat"
The police who guarded the por-
tails of the state, war and navy build
ing stopped at the entrance tall,
lean man who was Juggling box as
big as two suiteases. They ordered
him to open it, and found inside a
contrivance that looked as if it might
go off at any moment. He wanted
to see somebody in the navy depart
ment, and one of my aids went down
10 investigate. The fellow did not
look like a spy or a plotter, and the
navy man asked him what his con-
traption was.
Its a 'porcupine boat" he said;
"a boat that'll keep off them torpe-
does the submarines are firin'."
1t was a model of boat, its wood
IN sides thickly studded with long
spikes.
Whats the idea?' he was asked.
well, you see, the torpedoes can't
sink a ship unless they hit her. he
explained. "and if you put these
long spikes all along the side, they
.arft get to her. The spikes will
stop 'em; the torpedoes are stuck
oefore they hit the boat-and there
vou are"
1t was a great idea; certainly no
sne else had thought of it. But as
.he spikes would have to be about
50 feet long to hold off the torpe-
ioes and each ship would have 20
have three or four thousand of them,
ne could not very we'll adopt the
invention.
Wrap Ship in Cotton.
A southern inventor brought forth
plan that would have thrilled the
sunny south with joy if it could
have been adopted. This was to
,heathe all ships with an armor of
,hick cotton batting. He evidently
got his inspiration from the battle
ii New Orleans, where doughty old
Andrew Jackson erected barricade
,f cotton bales which the British
shells could not penetrate. So a
century later this Jacksonian fig
ured that a ship swathed in cotton
would be immune from she'll or tor
aedoes. The Germans could fire
,way, and do no more harm than
Il they were throwing rocks at a
mattress.
Any new use for cotton in unlin-
tied quantities naturally appealed to
me. as | come from a cotton-raising
section, but unfortunately the naval
experts seemed to have their doubts
about the efficacy of cotton-batting
srmor, preferring to stick to steel.
There were lot of inventions, OF
course. and even some of those that
were not practicable embodied ideas
that were worth considering. Though
we never did succeed in building a