The Winslow mail., 1921-10-07

PIE are always sensitive about the
mistakes due to inexperience. 1t is
foolish to be So but we can't help it.
Ii man makes a break through his
own chuckleheadedness he can laugh
over it and pretend he enjoys it; but
II he makes mistake simply because
he doesn't know any better, he is full
OF modification from the roof of his
hat down. 1t seems to jar his vanity.
"About the most humiliating experi-
ence man can have is to get stung
IN horse trade. The average man
doesn't know anything about a horse.
lie can see if it has four legs and
tail and pair of eyes, but he is OBJ
livious to all the things that make
horse a good one or a poor one. If
he gets the worst end of a trade he
should be philosopher, and say that
while he isn't success at swapping
plugs, he can wind up phonograph
or stoke a furnace better than any
man in the country. But he gets mad,
and the fact that he was stuck in such
a trade leaves sore place that never
heals.
Il can remember a break my first
wife made when we were newly mar
ried. She invited some folks to dinner
and, after much deliberation, decided
to have roast duck as the chief dish,
and told the hired girl to go ahead
and prepare the bird. Now. a duck is
mighty fine eating what there is of it.
but there is mighty little substance to
it. A duck is a mere shell. 1t doesn't
run to meat at all. A good hungry
man could eat three ducks at sit
ting and look around for more.
My wife, who had lived at hotels
and boarding houses all her life, sup
posed a duck was a solid chunk of
meat. and thought there would be
enough of the bird left, after the din
ner, to keep us in cold meat for
week. Well, there were eight people
at that dinner party, and each one
had piece of duck about the size of
one-cent stamp.
Everybody but my wife thought the
mistake was funny, but the most SUI
perficial observer could see at glance
that her heart was broken. She tried
her blamedest to smile, but right in
the middle of the effort she broke
Off with yell, and left the room to
weep few stanzas and she never did
recover from that humiliation. l tried
time and again to convince her that
there was nothing to be ashamed of in
such a misadventure. but she thought
the finger of scorn would be leveled
at her as long as she lived
Il can't sit here and moralize in this
strain all day, but feel just as sick
as anybody when | make a break.
When the mayor was buried three
years ago there was a big procession
in his honor. A lot of mounted men
led the parade, and if you were look
ing you doubtless saw me. / was
riding big black horse, when the
big black horse wasn't riding me- I
never supposed there was any trick in
riding horse, SO when they asked me
to sit on foaming charger l didn't
hesitate minute. / got seasick be-
fore l was on the nag two minutes,
and | let go the lines and hung to its
name and the fool horse cavorted all
over the street, so that l looked like
the idiot who tries to ride a trick
mule at the circus.
my evolutions simply broke up that
funeral parade and turned it into o
joy ride. l really wasn't to blame in
any way. but whenever | think of the
episode cold sweat breaks out on
me. and l feel like offering myself to
the first conner for seventeen cents"