Omaha daily bee., 1921-08-27
Lack of Trust Is
he Cause OF
Unhappiness
BY BEATRICE FAIRFAX.

ioNe MN, Dut i Qon trust nm!
walled Grace. II can't live without
him, so I'm going to marry him"
You can't live with him" | be-
gan.
"Oh, don't say that! I'll have to-"
she cried doggedly. Il love him so
that I'd rather be miserable with him
than happy with any other man.
Don't tell ME to give him up. Tell
me how TO make him care so much
for me that he won't go racing after
every new girl that comes along. He
comes back to me. He always has.
He says he always will But | go
almost crazy every time for fear he
won't! | want to be happy. Tell
me how"
And ! couldn't.
There isn't any way of being hap
py with a man you dent trust. |
said it to Grace. say it to every
other girl who writes me that she is
in love with man i'll whom she has
no faith, All the big institutions of
life are built on confidence. Busi-
ness, the affairs of nations and the
great institution of the home are
based on nothing save when they are
based on belief in the integrity of the
people involved.
A man may be bit OF a philan-
derer and still make woman happy
il she feels in her soul that he is only
child and that he likes new toys
vSita IN,
not retracting what I've just said.
I'm merely stating that we don't
have to doubt someone we love
merely because he or she is a f1irt
and given to wandering from the real
central interest of life once in
while. But when that wandering
causes doubt, when it undermines
confidence, then the doubter is lack
ing in loyalty and. stability-then
marriage can't be the big, fine, salts
flying thing we all crave.
| know charming woman who
has a giddy, tinselly longing for ad-
miration and excitement. She is
married to a big stable, sturdy chap,
who wishes she wouldn't do some of
the silly things she contrives to do
now and then--but who knows that
she is devoted to him and that her
foolishnesses don't touch her loyalty
and deyotion?.. He doesn't agonize
when some new swain sends her or
chids or takes her to lunch. He
merely smiles tolerantly as if his
wife were child racing after toy
balloon.
And because he has faith and con-
fidence his wife doesn't take her own
'crushes" seriously, but laughs with
him at her own confessedly, absurd
desire for conquest. Those. who
know !Geof, and Marian. wish she
wouldn't he such a goose--but that's
as far as criticism can go.
Not many, 1uen-not many women
could accept a foolish and unconven-
tional attitude so calmly. ,...
GENERALLY IAN unconventional atti-
tude isn't a.,thing that can logically
be taken in%that way. And even il
it were, only one in hundred has
the poisc and sanity and self-control
to accept it so.
Most of ms, have a strongly de-
veloped sense of possession. Even
when we talk wisely about free
dom of the individual and the folly
of trying to own a human soul, we
are still aching because the one we
love isn't giving the. utter devotion
and showing the complete absorp-
ton we crave And since we have
to deal with human .tature as it is.
and not as it might be. the facts OF
life make it obvious that it doesn't
pay to marry man who-deservedly
or not-fals to inspire faith. =.
The philanderer may not be i'm
moral, bad atyheart, deliberately >un-
kind or anything extreme. But he
is generally weak and unstable. And
unless the woman who loves him is
actually a saparwoman in her sanity
:o,d efrcnSth, and self-control, life