The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1921-09-17

| The little boy with puddle boots,
| He won't come out today
/ I think the doctors buggy turned
- DIZZY We CHARLES A. WAGNER
MR. WAGNER'S lines are the sort the Litry
Diiist likes to clip and reprint. In this in
stance, we don't know whether TO predict that
1t will print Rain in Vermont Town, or to
! suggest that it do so. Perhaps II ISM a pref
tily worded word picture but it is poignantly
real which many pretty pictures are not
But, tut, tut; we're swiping the prerogative OF
the esteemed Dijlst.
If You Approach This in Proper Frame OF
Mind You May Find Smile Herein.
| from the Carthage IS. d. News.1
| George SneeSby was the victim OF
| distressing accident last Thursday aft
| ernoon. He was hauling grain into his
| granary and not noticing until TOO late
that the high box wagon on which he
! was riding didn't clearance enough to
allow him to get under the top of the
door. He was caught between the wag-
box and the doorway and badly
squeezed. His back received the main
/ squeeze and he has since been laid up.
Those who have seen the place since the
accident happened express surprise that
he escaped with as little injury as he did.
SIRIUS, following the suggestion of
Eteocles, addresses his communications to
rChiropractor of the Tombstone. That, we
should say ought to give Willie Green sub
luxation of the Atlas
AFTER confessing personal guilt in the per-
petration of two colyum errors F. F. WHO
is pinch hitting for F. P. A. in the New York
Trib-remarks that included among the err
ing however. is A. s. NJ. Hutchin". Which
leaves a fine opening for Mr.. Hutchinson's
comeback.
Also "Included Among the Erring''-
from The Argus Information Bureau.1
@. Has a memorial ever been dedi-
Gated to the author OF "on the Banks
A Dresser Drive, which skirts the
Wabash river in Terre Haute, Ind, is
named for Paul Dresser, who wrote ION
the Banks of the wabash, this being
known "Indiana's song
WHEN we used to sing (or try to singl
con the Banks of the Wabash, the composers
name was Paul Dresser Probably old Miss
Information calls him Dresser through con-
sideration for the feelings of his o. l. dis
tingushed brother, Theodore.
CHRONoLOGICALLY REPLYING: NO. NO!
NO. PRICELESS.
Dear Mac: Have you noticed that
Dear Old Rock Island is poisoning out in
new garb? The City Beautiful is evidently
going to be attained Has our commission at
last got busy?
Perhaps the first thing on the program is
to place the billboards. Have you not no
ticed them? Hope they will not forget to
place some around our central PARK or on mar
ket square 10 add to the beautyt3 of dear old
r. l.
What's your adv rates for the above, Mac?
j. I. NJ
WHEN we mention an advertiser in this
Peerless Peristyle Of Publicity he (usua1ly)
shows how little he knows about the art of
advertising by getting peeved about 1t insteaI
Of being tickled pink because he gets publicity
that money can't buy.
Street Car Comedy
Scene: Rear platform of Long View car.
Door open to receive bulky passenger. He
climbs on car. 1t is John Carse. He greets
conductor smilingly, tips hat and proffers fare
with graceful bow.
Conductor "Whathahel's tn matter with
you-gone nutty?'
J. c.: NO, sir, not at all sir I'm inst
being courteous, sir
Conductor is eloquentIy silent.
DEAR MAC" writes our doub1e-barreled
contrib, Jordan; Willis, here's another vile
limerick in dishonor Of Fatty" . . Well as
we have inttmated, all limericks are vile but
some are more so than others.
TELL HER TO READ II CORINTHIANS. 9:7. /
Sir: Tried to persuade one of the fair sex
10 contribute jit to the P. as H. fund but
she argued that she had deposited her nickel /
accompanied by "a lott of other nickels in the
church collection Sunday. Do you suppose she g.
gave more than nickel. that the said nickel
merely joined the beaucoup other nickels that /
mold their Sunday gatherings on the collec-
ton plate? We can't figure it out so will let
you deduce (or reduce it, if you can !
YOUKNOWMEAI.
WHEN one considers the discrepancy be-
tween ones income and ones outgo one is
soothed by the sweetly solemn thought that
hundreds of persons cannot pay the third in
stallment of their income taxes. That. one
oneself, is ones golden reward: Il
or not having a taxable income. The il
Moral dearly beloved, is this: Get married and i
ear family.
FROM the New York Tribune we CLEAN
hat Helen Schniewind will be married to
Warren B. Pond on Oct. g. The society re-
'orters will muff golden point if in describ-
ng her bridal beauty they don't call her
Pond lily. #
WE'LL DONATE ANOTHER QUARTER IF Il
THEY'LL DISBAND Is
Sir; A little neighbor girl Of ours came
lome from Sunday school not long ago and
lSkeo Tor quarter, to be used she said for
IN orchestra The quarter was forthcoming
md the explanation accepted-with grain of
ant Yesterday, however, it was learned that
he quarter was for a mission band I don't :
mink you nave to be musical to whistle a l
yheeze from this SOLOMON prFEIE :
n