Atlanta tri-weekly journal. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1920-19??, 1921-03-19
DOROTHY DIX TALKS
THE MISERLY, HUSBAND
BY DOROTHY DIX
Copyright, 1920, by the Wheeler Syndi-
cate, Inc.
THE question that 1 am asked oftens1
than any other Is this:

husband?"
Heaven only knows. give up the conun-
drum. If could solve it, 1 would not only
be female Solomon but the greatest bene-
factor that my sex has ever known, for there
Is no other one thing that wrecks the matri-
mon1al happiness of woman than parsimony.
The hrsG time that many a romantic bride
discovers that her idol has feet of clay, in
Wnen she has to reach for his pocketbook.
and finds out that it has a Yale lock on IL
that 1t takes an expert burglar with a jimmy
to pry open wide enough to get a few pen
MES out of it,
Most men, thank God, are generous to
their wives. Some are even too lavish, and
give their wives more than they can afford
to give them but there is no denying that
there are large number of men who sup
port their families grudgingly, and who
make their wives lives torment to them
through their stinginess.
These men never give their wives an AL
lowance. They have everything charged ON
bills on which they keep an eagle eye and
when the first of the month arrives and the,
bills come in, there are scenes, and storms.
and abuses, and vituperation that brighten
the poor wives half to death. These men act
as if their wives had eaten every particle of,
1000 on the grocery bill, and monopolized all
the light and heat represented on the gas
bill, and that they were responsible TO, the
children wearing out their shoes, and get
Why men, who are not willing to pay for
the upkeep of home and the necessary ex-
penses of a family, ever get married, is a
mystery. They do, however, and their I'M
fortunate wives are expected to work
miracles and set good table and present
good appearance without money and with
out cost; and when they fail to achieve the
impossible, they have to bear the brunt of
their lord and masters agony at parting with
what is dearer to him than his hearts blood"
In the end, man has to pay the absolute-
ly necessary household expenses for his
family. The law compels that but it is
amazing the number of men who never give
their wives cent to spend they please,
and for which they do not have to give an
account.
I get hundreds of letters year from
women who tell me that they have never had
a dollar OF their own since they were mar
ried. Some of them say that their husbands
are rich, and they have old mothers or sick
sisters that they would like to help, but can
not. Others say that their husbands dress.
finely, but they have to make their own
clothes, and look so shabby that their hus-
bands are ashamed to be seen out with them,
and all testify to the humiliating and degrad-
ing scenes they have to go through when
they ask for money.
Yet these women all work in their homes
They cook, and clean and scrub, and sew
patch, and darn, and hunt bargains, and
raise families, and perform services so
varied and great, that it would cost a man
hundreds of dollars a month to have done
by substitutes 1t doesn't take long to run
up bill for household labor these days when
competent cooks get from $40 a week up,
and wash ladies demand $3.50 day, and
trained nurses and baby specialists are worth
their weight in gold, and seamstresses are
pearls of price.
This makes all the more unjust the atti-
fYI14 ,looI
out on his wife, and refuses to give her the
money that she has earned in his own kitch-
en- and nursery, to say nothing of the higher
obligations he has towards her as her hus-
band
But, as Mr.. Cleveland airily observed, at
is the condition and not the theory that con-
fronts u.s." Here is the misery husband, and
here is his defrauded wife, and she wants to
know how she can go about collecting what
is owed her.
The best way to deal with tight-wad hus-
band is not to marry him at all. In picking
out husband, one of the things girl should
be surest about is to see that she isn't get
ting a stingy one. Observe how a young
man reacts towards money.
If he carries his pennies in change purse;
II he haggles over every cent a bill; if he
lets you pay your car fare when he meets you
on the street car; if he is always so slow in
getting out his pocketbook that he lets some
body else in the crowd pay; if he carries a
little book and puts down in 1t every cent he
spends; pass him up. He will make one OF
the kind of husbands you have to chloro-
form before you part him from the price
of hat.
Then, girl is fool who deserves all she
gets, If she does not have a defEite money
understanding with the man she marries be-
fore she marries him. Don't ask a man if
he is sure he will always love you and if he
will never marry if you dis Ask him how
much of his salary he thinks @ man should
give his wife to keep house on, 411 what
are his views in regard to wifes having
her own individual purse.
But many !. man who is lavish spender
during his courtship, is miserly husE~"~i.
Many man makes his wife pay in pinching
economies after marriage, for the gifts and
good times he gave her before marriage.
How Is such woman to deal with her close
listed spouse?
Generally, such a mans pride is his weak
spot. He trusts to his wife's being ashamed
to let other people know how niggardly he
Is, and nine times out Of ten his wife could
make him come across beautifully by asSur-
ing him that she would go out and get a job,
even If she had to cook in somebody else's
kitchen rather than haggle with him over
every penny Instead Of getting appropriate
clothes at the price of her husbands abuse,
let her shame him by her shabbiness and tell
their friends that he RI fuses to give her any
dress money, and he will save his face by
handing over a decent allowance, for no man
wants to endure the whitening contempt we
all feel for the stingy.
If these tactics fall woman Is justified /
in leaving a tight-wad husband and going
to work for those who will reward her serv.
ices with a pay envelope. She has every
thing to gain, and nothing to lose by 80 doing,