davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-02-17

on the District
of Columbia in
the next Con-
gress, favors
suffrage in some
form for the
voteless people
of Washington.
He has intro
duced in t h e
Senate a meas
,ro similar to
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-02-17
THE FANS ON APRIL 1.
On the LIST Of April I'm going to
wear a filbert. MILO H.

On April lat, Nuts day,
I'm sure to be out to play.
XII tie on "A nut
And then you'll see some NUT
oICUCME
Are we to have a high sign on
April ! besides wearing nuts. IL so
what is II to be? BILLY McNUTT.
(Let the fans suggest a good high
sign, one appropriate for old II and
81
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-02-17
BIBLE VERSES.
EMBLEMATIC OF H. AND ..

Leviticus, 25th CHI, 5th verse. has
the only mention of the word Its"
in the Bible.
Genesis, Sd chap, 21st verse, mem
tons the first coat making.
Numbers, 18th chap, 5th verse, tells
of fish. cucumbers. onions, etc.
Judges, 4th chap, 10Th verse, speaks
OF a bottle of milk
EccL, LIST chap, 18th verse, has
comfort for the ignoramus.
1zaiah, 41st chap, 18th verse, Hand
holding" II. SMITH.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-02-17
CASTOR OIL!

I'm glad they have more OF II
now. Speaking of CASTOR OIL,
when I was confined in an army
hospital with the flu, / asked for
castor oil and the nurse inform
ed me that II was too expensive
and the army needed 1t for aero
planes. Some people may still
prefer that the aeroplanes use it
all. but our forefathers were
stuck on 1t long before aeros
were thought Of MILO IL.
Shopmates of J. c. S., OF the Navy
Yard. recently presented him with a
metal badge. inscribed. Chicken In
spector." The honor was award ed
him for efficient service in that
direction /. o. b.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-02-17
HAIR-TEARING PROBLEM.

VIM. ID. C. states that the problem
he submits below once had the town
OF Crosby, North Dakota. working all
winter and that mathematicains OF
rival Western colleges got into the
whiri, finding the English language
inadequate 10 express their opinions
of the other maths who did not agree
with them. Here goes:
1.-TWO binder.. each cutting ~
eikht-foot swatk make twenty
rounds each around . square
field of wheat eoatsining one
hundred and sixty acres. TIE hin
ders follow each other and turs
corners square. Does 0ae binder
cut more than the other and how
muchf VIM. ID. T..
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-02-17

My boss said to the book-keep-
er. IF any one wants me for
half an hour / am out" and the
book-keeper answered. eff they
want you for only ten minutes
where are your
HAPPY FAN.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-02-17
THAT PRE-HIsTORIC BIRD.

/ read in The Times Sunday of a
prehistoric bird called the moa. Why,
I've seen those old birds on street
corners. When they're young they're
called lizards. Around sixty years
they're moas-old enough to have moa
sense. They act real kittenish, waxed
mustaches, mostly dyed, etc.
PEANUTS.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-02-17
COME-BiCkS.

These will always come back Bad
checks, drowned cats. freckles gossip,
II. G. L., spring.
These Nant to come backbone,
Germany Jess willard, profteers. the
Democratic party, w. !. Bryan,
These will never--First love, scent
movies, innocence natural com
paaxienA n n s.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-02-17
ADVICE TO MOTHERS!

If it's hard to make your
daughters wash dishes, just hide
II and S from them until they do
the chores. You'll find they will
get through in hurry.
LOUISE LUSkEY.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-02-17
Votes For Washington

Senator Arthur Capper, of Kan
sas. who has been mentioned as
chairman of the Senate Committee
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-02-17

The small boy excitedly asked
the druggist for liniment and
cement. When asked why he
wanted the combination he re-
piled: PA hit ma with q cup"
II. d. b.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-02-17

the world is smaller today than
ever before; that is, people can go
to and fro on it more quickly than
ever before.
The war added greatly to the in
terest of Americans in other nations
and peoples. You see this fact re-
Elected in many ways.
The stamp collecting mania is one.
Twenty years ago foreign stamps on
letters or papers were so rare in
most places that the recipient of one
showed it proudly to his neighbors.
Boys starting a collection found it
difficult to get beyond the pages re-
served for Canadian stamps, British
stamps and German stamps.
Now Italian, Greek, Spanish,
Portuguese, French, Swiss, Serbian,
Austrian, Hungarian, Belgian,
Dutch, Danish, Swedish and Nor
wegian stamps are not uncommon in
this country and we are beginning
to recognize stamps of new states
like Poland and Czechoslovakia,
and of states like Rumania, Bull
garia, Japan, China, Persia, which
used to be rare, and also of far-Off
dominions or colonial possessions
like the United States of South
America, Egypt and India. Even
Australian stamps are easy to get,
and Latin-American stamps are be-
coming frequent. 1t is no trick at
all to collect stamps today.
Another sign of our enlarged in
terest in the worlds affairs is found
in our newspapers.
Ten years ago you seldom saw
more than a few inches of cable
news a day in even our largest pa
pers. Except on extraordinary oc-
casions all foreign news was "played
down."
Today the large papers report the
significant news of other nations
almost as fully as they do home
news. Even newspapers in the small
est cities feature it strongly.
Now to get this news from afar
costs much money, for cable tolls
are still high. The fact that it is
printed, therefore, presupposes the
existence of a demand.
If you recall how glad your
soldier-son was to get back to the
"good, old United States" and how
"fed up" he said he was on all "for-
eign stuff" you may wonder that
this interest in other world affairs,
from which politically and financial
ly we Americans at the moment are
in a recoil, persists and grows.
Psychologically there's a reason.
When you read in your paper
about a happening in a place you We
once visited you feel a greater in
terest than in piece of news dated
from a place you never saw. That's
human nature. Even to have passed
through a community with only a
car window impression gives to it's
subsequent news a keener import
ance than to news from a wholly
strange community.
Well, at least two and half mil
lion American boys, counting army,
navy and marine corps, within three
years have seen something of a
number of foreign lands or a great
deal of one or two. At least ten
million other Americans, perhaps
twenty millions, followed them in
imagination and registered opinions
through their eyes.
These returned soldier boys, when
they got back. said they were
Il@l.a,.I ,, i'll E,,ro,o or cio RI1f
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-02-17
Mr.. B. Baer
CONFIDENTIAL.

Inc FEDERAL, suDufDdH,
State, international, non
sectarian, municipal. par
tisan, interurban, CONT
mental, cosmopolitan, and In
dividual income taxes are al
most due. That's only
eleven different kinds.
They'll think of more next
year.
Thereof be a new depart
ure in income taxes this
year. There will be a Con-
fidential Income Tax Bureau
for landlords, burglars,
boulevard yeggs, oil stock
gyppers. and the other boys
who live by the sweat of
their copies of Baron Man.
chausen's Travels.
Heretofore, only honest
birds have garnished the
board with their taxes. A
crook couldn't do the old
fashioned Minuet up to the
little widow and lay down
the Governments share of
the crime wave. There would
be too much notoriety at
tached. A burglars com.
plexion would be ruined out
in the hot sun. He is un-
naturally modest and loves
to travel incog.
The Confidential Income
Tax Bureau will give an
honest slicker a chance to
pay his share of the next
European loan. A member
of the mob can put the finger
on a rural bank, swipe a
million, commander an
auto, and drive up to pay
his tax in the CONFIDENTIAL
Bureau without taking his
mask off.
Having fulfilled his obli-
cations to his country. Il
will be every man for him
self. He will still retain the
privilege Of Switching the
income tax back at the
earliest opportunity.
No thumbprints will be
taken. Anonymous checks
will be accepted. Every ac-
count will be treated as
strictly private. The experts
figure that only one-half of
our population are paying
income taxes, because they
fear that the Government
will ask them how they
got 1t.
That was the old way.
The new way will make II
possible for everybody to be
honest on Income Tax Day.
This still leaves EN- the cut
ting edge of 364 days and an
equal number Of nights.
The CONFIDENTIAL Income
Tax Bureau will boost the
nations receipts about one
thousand per cent on that
day. the hilkers Of the
widow ana the orphan can
dull the singing Jabs OF
their conscience and start
the new fiscal year with a
mind clear as n VOLTS fang
spA tr, 80 q. Mill opthryple
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-02-17
BLOOMINGDALE LEADS.
Latest Bloomingdale fad
opera glasses at the movies!
II. NJ. II.

Did "V" come before "U" in the
alphabet in the early 1905? 1t ap-
pears in that position in some Of the
earlier dictionaries. H. H. M.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-02-17

read that the human body
contains as much phosphorus as.
1000 boxes OF matches. Maybe
that's why some folks are so
lighthcaded. EAMON s.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-02-17
Picnic parties forgetting TO
carry salt and pepper are out 81
SEASON. CURLY.

Mr.. Slow tcall'ng on girD--Your
chair seems rather distant tonight
Girl-Well, your chair isn't nailed
to the floor. is IT, CHRlSS.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-02-17
11EARl,&5EEr@ %,
Ry BILL PRICE.
Government Clerk February
I6)-Ho! Hum! Twelve more
days TIL pay day. MILO III.
RAsMUssEN's FINE PUZZLE.

JOHN RAsMUssEN's fine puzzle.
printed February 10. was much en-
Joyed by the fans. many OF whom
found the words therein. They would
like more from Rasmussen or others
along the same line. The words were
washington Times" Heard and
Seen. Bill Price"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-02-17

! stepped in KANNS ladies'
room the lother day to powder
my nose and there I found two
vamps powdering their pretty
little pink knees, which seemed
to be chilled by the cold breezes.
H. G..
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-02-17
An AcROsTiC PROBLEM.

A good many married men
might learn TO stay home nights
II only during the day their bet
ter halves learned TO attend TO
household duties as strictly as
they do TO the movies.
PHILIP EBERT.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-02-17
We T TOW. y {! c., GOSSIP S.!
By K. C.. B.

I'D TELL you his "OUTA MY hand.
name; AND TOBY.
IF HE'D let me. wAsM1icH snrnrised
BUT HE won't. AND DENIED it.
AND WE'LL call him AND THE boy
Toby: insisted.
WHICH is near it. AND TOBY reasoned.
AND ANYWAY. TO NO avail.
THE OTHER day. AND THE small boy.
HE DROPPED in. GREW !MPoLITE.
FOR A little visit AND TOBY left him.
AND HE was sore. " q
AND TOLD me. money:
ON THE way over. BY SHARP practice.
HE WAS walking AND AS Toby. told me.
S'0". .. HE CROSSED his
IN A leiisurely way. legs.
AND AROUND a cor AND BOTH Of u.s.
ner. SAW SOMETHING
CAME 4 boy. shining
oE ARoJrT %, IN THE cuff Of his
trousers..
40 rAsi as ne could AND 1T was quarter.
AND HE was running AND WE went back.
AND THEY came to- AND FOR an hour.
HUNG AROUND the
JUST AS Toby. corner.
PUT OUT his hands. WHERE THE collision
TO EASE the collision.
AND THEY stopped. HI him. CoohDNi md
AND kiGhI away. AND promised Toby.
THE BOY exclaimed. I'D WRITE about it
GIMME BACK my AND FIND the boy.
quarter.
YOU GRABBED it | quarter
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-02-17
MORE FOR BERT WILLIAMS.

Here are some more for BERT
WILLIAMS to add to his song:
BY J. n. sTREEKS
Ashes To ashes.
Dust to dust,
You should see my girl
shes up to snun.
BY IONA sTILI.
Ashes to ashes
Dust to dust,
Those pth street cars
Make me cuxs
Why is young couple making
love on the beach like a bulldog on
a cake OF icsf Because It's dog-on-
llAoA bunDIR
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-02-17

Opera starch, my. yes! I have
spent great deal of money on my
throat.
Booze hound-So have I.
SAYS WHICH.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-02-17
HARD JOLT TO PAT.

Pat recovering from ether)-Weil,
I'm glad its over.
Ward Occupying bed opposite
Pat's)-"Don't be too sure, they
sewed a pair Of scissors up in me and
had to operate on me again"
Doctor (poking his head In door.
excitedly)-"Has anybody seen my
hat7"
Pat tainted. BOOTY HATCH.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-02-17
The other day 1 noticed the sign Of
Samuel TICKET, magnetic healer.
READER.
A PRACTICAL LOVE SONG.
Always . hole In your socks,

Always . hole In your tocks,
Always . button gone,
How much longer. sweetheart,
VIII you sing . bachelors sopgf
You need me badly, sweetie,
You know it's all too true.
Then why delay the joyous day
when 1 can cook your stew?
YIRGIE.
''why call the contribs puts7' asks
a fan. Here's my answer: The nut
contains the germ OF new life which.
placed in fertile soil, under proper
will come forth and pro-
duce. Then II you contain the germ
OF JOY and merriment entrust your
self to the planter-BlLL, and his
garden of literary delights.
slim" HENDRIX
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-02-17

That was the old way.
The new way will make II
possible for everybody to be
honest on Income Tax Day.
This still leaves EN- the cut
ting edge of 36i days and an
equal number of nights.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-02-17

Having fulfilled his obli-
cations to his country, II
will be every man for him
self. He will still retain the
privilege Of Switching the
income tax back at the
earliest opportunity.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-02-17
HOW the World
GrOUs Smaller

4 s we reckon distance in time
~ rather than miles, obviously
tho uLarld L. oranuo. oIn.. Il.nn
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1921-08-05
JAPANESE NEED
CHRISTIANITY
rufheran Preacher Says 0rientaIs
Can Only be Conquered by Ed
ueafzenal Forces.

Dixon, IL, Aug. 5.-"Japan will
never try to conquer this country, s.
mr.. 8. S. Waltz of Chicago, execu-
tive secretary Of the Brotherhood of
,he United Lutheran Church in
America. declared to an audience at
the Rock River assembly, here last
evening. DR.. Waltz, who has lust
returned from an extended visit in
the Orient, said this country has
only one chance OF conquering
Janan. 1t would be necessary for
ne to kill every man, woman and
child in the island empire and then
prepare to wage war on the vast
army of Japanese dogs and cats
that would arise to subdue the in
vaders"
He said there is only one practi-
cal way for the United States to
conquer Japan and that is to carry
Christian education around the
world before the evils of pagan edu-
cation secure a permanent foothoId
in the east.
Japan is the present power in
the Orient" he said land she is try
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1921-08-05
EMERGENCY BARNS
TO CARE FOR BIG
LIVESTOCK ENTRY

To house the rapidly increasing
number OF livestock entries at the
Mississippi Valley fair Aug. 1920,
an additional stock barn has been
completed This barn contains go
pens, each eight feet square. It is
located directly south Of swine barn
No. L
I'VE intend the additional barn
for sheep, but we may need it for
swine, SO heavy is the list of en-
tries we have so far received,
Treasurer P. N. Jacobson said to-
day. Mr.. Bacon, our manager, re-
ports a steady flow Of entries in
the livestock classes While these
entries close this week, we have
many more than we expected. We
Will be able to tell the exact num-
Der by the first of next week and
II our pen space is not sufficient
we will take immediate steps to
increase our facilities.
THE public can rest assured that
It will see the largest exhibit OF
livestock that has ever been brought
to this part OF the middle-west. 1t
will be much larger than last year.
1t is less of local fair than it was
last year. more of the great Mis-
sissippi Valley exposition we are
striving to build up here for future
years.
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1921-08-05
FEDERATION TO-
CONTINUE FIGHT
ON ONE-MAN CAR

Members OF the Tri-City Fedora
ton of Labor in session at the In
dustrial hall Thursday night spent
considerable time in a discussion
or the -one-man" street car. The
members reiterated their stand of
being unalterably opposed to the
system. The federation has al
ready filed a formal protest with
the Rock Island city commission
ers
While little is being said by the
street car men 1t is understood that
they have withdrawn objections to
the operation Of the "one-man"
cars
Outside OF the discussion OF the
street car situation the federation
members took up no new business.
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1921-08-05
GIRLS! LEMONS
BLEACH SKIN WHITE

Squeeze the juice of two lemons
into a bottle containing three
ounces of Orchard White. which any
drug store will supply for a few
cents, shake well, and you have a
quarter pint of harmless and de-
lightful lemon bleach. Massage this
sweetly fragrant lotion into the
face, neck. arms and hands each
day. then shortly note the beauty
and whiteness of your skin.
Famous stage beauties use this
lemon lotion to bleach and bring
tn; soft clear, rosy-white com-
plexion, .lso as a freckle, sunburn,
and tan bleach because it doesn't
INTELLECTUALLY.
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1921-08-05
SCOUT TROOP Is
PUBLISHING IT'S
OWN NEWSPAPER

Troop No. 2, Boy Scouts. has en-
tered the publishing field with a
weekly troop paper known as It.
N. t.. George Young is managing
editor OF the paper and George Bur-
CESS editor. Three numbers have
been issued and the paper is max
ing a real hit with troop members.
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1921-08-05

ing the experiment of heather edu-
cation. If she succeeds the entire
Orient will follow her lead. Amer
lea is the power of the occident. 1t
Is our duty to carry Christianity to
the Orient, and if we fail the Jap
anese educational system will
spread to our shores and will at
tempt to paganize the Occident."
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1921-08-05

Washington, Aug. 5.-A decrease
In employment in July of 1.6 per
cent was shown by the payrolls of
l42S Arms, each employing 500 OF
more workers, in SIS principal in
dutrial cities. according to figures
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1921-08-05

IL you are interested in a busi-
ness college course. write in to
Brown's Business college for their
new catalogue. New classes start
sept. . and 6. Phone r. l. 1874.
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1921-08-05

There are 261 ,553 female work
crs on farms in this country.
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1921-08-05
MORE IORI.FSS

1t is distributed each week at troop
meetings.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1921-05-17
IN HIS YOUNG LIFE

A mcddlcSomc old lady came upon
lad loungirg on the street curb one
noon and stopped to inquire, with
suspicion:
a"Say. bub, don't you go to school ?"
! yes was the tart reply, "but
only between meals.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1921-05-17
AUCTION SALE

By Thomas L. Carter, Auctioneer
AUCTION SALE:-Saie of a de-
sitable house ard lot, known and DIES
ignatcd as premises No 724 North
Columbus street. Alexandria, Vir.
ginia.
By virtue of and pursuant to the
terms Of a ded Of trust dated April
18th, 1920, executed by William E.
Franklin and Ada L. Franklin, his
wife, to Robinson Moncure, Trustee,
and of record in Deed Book No. 70,
page 4S4, of the land records. of
Alexandria City, Virginia, at the
written request and direction of the
party thereby secured by the said
Deed of Trust, default having been
made in the payment Of the iidebt-
edness secured by the said Deed of
Trust, the undersigned Trustee will
offer for sale at public auction, in
front of the Royal Street entrance to
the Market House, in Alexandria
City, Virginia, on
SATURDAY, MAY 81, 1921.
At 12 o'clock m, that parcel Of
ground with the improvements there
on and the appurtenanceS there unto
belonging, located or Gle west side
of Columbus street between Madison
and Wythe Streets, in the City of
Alexandria, Virginia, and bounded
as follows, to wit:
Beginning at point on the west
size Of Columbus Street 1877 .96 feet
north of Wythe Street, and running
thence north on Columbus street
1886 fct to the center Of an alley
2.92 feet wide; thence. W s: parallel
with Wytle street 113 feet inches;
thence south parallel with Columbus
street 13 Sc feet; and thence east in
a straight line parallel with Wythc
street 1873 feet 5 inches to the be-
ginning, with right Of way over said
dl!ey I'll COIIlilOI "Ipll OlHcis tlIlliSu
thereto, and being the same property
which was conveyed to the said Will
liam E. Franklin and wife by Hugo
Hcrfurth, Jr., by deed dated April
18th, 1920, and recorded among the
land records of said City in Decd |
Box 70, page 4SS. The land is i'm.
proved by a two story frame dwell |
ling house.
TERMS OF SALE: CASH, includ- !
ing revenue stamps. Convcrancing
at the cost Of the purchaser or pur- |
chasrrs.
ROBINSON MONSURE. Trustee.
This sale postponed from May :
to the foregoing date. 110-l1p |
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1921-05-17

OF the sixty-ninc principal articles
imported by the United States in
1920, iwood pulp ranked fifth, with
nearly billion pounds, gain of 43
per cent over the annual amount i'm
ported in 1919 and 90 per cent above
the ) wear pre- war average.
The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1921-03-09
McRae- Leite

McRae-Leite
The charming brides host of Lake
land friends will be interested in the
announcement that Miss Mary Nc
Rae, formerly of Lakeland will be
married in Jacksonville on MONDAY
to Roy Leite of that city. The we'd
ding will be very simple, and the
young couple will spend weeks
honeymoon in ST. Augustine, coming
on to Lakeland to visit the brides
parents, Mr.. and Mrs. w. X. McRae.
The brides sister, Mrs. Paul Hender-
son and little Paul, Jr., will attend
the wedding.
The briae is a very attractive girl
and has lived most of her life in
Lakeland where she is very popular.
she has been employed in Jackson
vile as assistant cashier IN the
freight depot. The groom is very
estimable young man, holding posi-
tion with the Seaboard Airline in
Jacksonville