Little Falls herald. [volume] (Little Falls, Morrison County, Minn.) 1889-1950, 1921-11-11
SAYINGS OF LARRY HO!
The Young Moon


p In virgin wonder clad;
And seemed to pour an incense down
Because my heart was sad.
I almost deemed it looked on me
In eagerness to bless;
And from its lonely rapture leaned
To pity my distress.
All, long ago, the same young moon
By the Leucadian sea
Shed all its misty loneliness
On sappho's agony.
And years and years beyond tonight
When I am fast asleep,
Around some lonely aching heart
The same young n %o % shall creep
The census bureau having failed, to
date, to make any report on the coun-
try's annual pie consumption, l. feel
that I should make good this deficiency
in the interests of a happy, contented
and united people. Pie, being Ameri-
ca s national flower, is important to
every good citizen. I am glad there
fore to report that pie for 1921 is run
ming strong, sacking high, and promis-
ing a prosperity greater than ever.
The first spring reports were a little
bearish; but midsummer found the
prospective crop averaging about 1898
per cent. The completed harvest. for
the year will be we'll above normal and
the entire crop will be moved on time,
and consumed without resorting to cold
storage. Based on the output for the
year up to October 1st, this year, the
total pies made in the old United
R+otoS FOR 4ho -,oor 1901 I'LL h. on
650, 1000. This may not sound very big
for such big country; but if these
pies were placed rim to rim, they
would make a ribbon running eighteen
times around the earth. If placed One
on top of the other, they would reach
into the sky 53,l73 miles. If piled to-
gether, row to row and on top Of each
other, in the shape Of the Washington
monument, they would make 81 such
monuments; ;, and all together they
would weigh "a times as much as the
Washington monument. If one man
could eat and contain all these pies at
one time, he would be as big as the
national capital in length and breadth
and twice as tall as the capitol dome.
If Charlie Chaplin, who always loves
to hit folks in the face with pie started
out to use up this years pie supply in
that fashion, and he threw pie a sec.
ond, it would take him one hundred
and twelve years to throw the one
years pie supply. I fear the faces
wouldn It hold out. If the pies were
laid rim to rim, and one on top of
another to fill up the road between
Winnebago and Blue Earth, they would
completely pave the road to height
Of 100 feet. How would you like to
swim between the two towns then?
that there is one stomach
ache for every twenty pies, it appears
that it will take fifteen million bottles
of paregoric to: assuage the ache. I
trust that this report may to some ex-
tent counterbalance and correct the
tone&of pessimism in our
glorious land. H.
It is too bad that in time like this
when so much is at stake, some people
will take delight in wishing trouble for
the President ii heard a.. man say the
other day: - Harding is up against it
good now, and he4 get his before he
gets j through. -, It IS true that
the president is: up against it, it simply
means thst,the country is up, against
it. 1t seems nothing less than wicked
to wish i'll luck to man who is the
servant Of all the people. cannot
help but feel that a truly good citizen
will always say to himself: The presi-
dent Of the United States is my. presi'
dent, and I am going to be for him,
not because he<is Of my party or my
creed, but because ne is of my country.