The Columbus dispatch. (Columbus, Miss.) 19??-1922, 1921-12-14
BLACKGUM HALL

My young friend who writes from
Lone Oak says: "Mr. Johnnie / wish
Fyou would please tell me how to inn
prove my letters and how to make
them interesting. have tried to
make them as interesting as yours
Young lady if you did but know il
you have paid Old Johnnie very high
compliment. You ask my advice as to
how to make your letters interesting
and you have taken mine for an ex-
ample. Did it ever occur to you that
many readers Of the Dispatch are
more interested in your letters than
mine Yes, time after time men have
entered protest with the editor against
my writing. Some made threats to
quit the paper and use their influence
against the paper If ! was allowed to
continue TO write, but TO no avail.
The thing in order to become a cor
respondent is to make an alarm at the
outer door Of the Dispatch building.
You will be asked from within ''who
comes there?" You will answer, a
poor blind pen pusher who has long
wanted TO be initiated into the myster-
les of Paperdom. You will then be
admitted into the presence of the
Printers Devil, who will teach you
how to approach the Edtor-in-chief.
TO do this you bring the toe Of your
right foot to the heel Of your left,
your body erect to the linotype opera
tor, your face toward the editor. To
get the attention of the Editor you
move on your right and keep on your
right foot until you reach the editors
desk when you will let your presence
be known by three distinct knocks on
the Editors beak, who will inquire
from whence you came and whittier
bound. Your ansyer will be from the
sticks, seeking knowledge, wisdom and
truth. You will then be conducted to
the business manager who will invest
you with a pencil, paper, envelopes
and stamps with instructions to get
the news.
When you are fully equipped the
first thing to do is get you a little
memorandum book, keep it in your
pocket and when a thought comes to
your mind that will be of interest to
the readers jot it down and if your
mind is clear and your Imagination
active, by the time you are ready to
write you will have your text. Try
10 get in a paragraph for the old as
we'll as the young, to the amusement
and edifcation of all. If you have a
GOOD neighbor give him nice puff, if
you have a nice lady friend who is an
excellent housekeeper give her a nice
little writeup. If you have a girl
friend who is your ideal, give her a
space in your letter, and if you should
happen to know boy who is a little
sober, honest and well behaved, who
treats his mother and sisters with af-
lection, give him the benefit Of your
zen. It is a great pleasure to write
liee things about nice persons.
Be sure not to be voluminous. Be
lrief if you want your letters to be
read. The best editorial writer
yer knew was so long winded his
'eaders would merely glance over and
all to get the gist Of the matter in
land.
Write something nice about your
.hurch, Sunday school, public schools,
PREACHERS, teachers and write as if
'ou were writing to a friend
Write like the man did to the Bell
lumber g. Manufacturing Company,
aid he: "Gentlemen:-I have not for
rotten the bill l owe you, the flooring
md the Beaver board and other things
we're as you represented. When those
Who owe me pay up | will pay you.
{ you are as unprepared to meet
Judgment as l am to meet your bill,
he Devil will surely get one Lumber
company.
Now young lady write on, for you
re sure to succeed for you have
omething ON which to base success;
which | never had. When
was your age couldn't hardly write
ny name. All | know about spelling
nd English is from observation.
never opened a grammer to learn a
essen and the Linotype man at the
Dispatch will tell you he has TO guess
4 what l am driving at. / wrote a
business letter to n lady in Columbus
nee, and her husband, my employer,
It the time, said to me: Johnnie that
etter you wrote my wife would have
,een a credit TO any man in this
own hut you get off some Of the