The citizen. [volume] (Berea, Ky.) 1899-1958, 1921-04-07

wort n v. Jim
IIoneybug Is Il good story teller, and he
was telling W. bully yarn, and for
brief season we forgot the burdens
laid upon us, which are greater than
we can bear. II you could tell story
rs well as IIoneybug does, I'd AL these
ancestral halls with silvery laughter.
but you never try to say anything
amusing. Mrs. Jamesworthy. You do
tell stories hut they are Of "A gloomy
and tragic character.
Last night. when came home. you
told dramatic story to the effect that
Won had callers all afternoon, and
hadn't n chance to cook anything for
mo. and so had to eat canned salmon
and soda crackers. and wash them
down with water. and ! insist that
when husband comes home from his
arduous lahors In the changing mart,
So empty thst his watch chain makes a
clanking sound when II flaps against
/ his spine. he should have warm vic
tualS, something he can consume with
pleasure and pride. The fact that you
had an invasion Of callers Is a cheap
excuse.
"My sainted mother never would
have permitted any callers to interfere
with her management OF the cook
stove she realized that her old man
kept the shchaug going. and that he
should have the right Of way. II any
old hens happened to Dee in the house
Union ,,r,,L ,frr, ar,tr,ugI,I my moth.
rr would request them firmly but re-
spoctfully 10 chase themselves. and II
they didn't like il they could lump II.
when my father came home from his
work. the hay was always I'm the
maugor for him, and he never had to
wait five minutes for n meal.
1.-THE day before yesterday. when |
came staggering home faint and
weary from my herculenn efforts 10
make both ends meet, you told me an
other story II was to the effect that
Won had been downtown sizing up "A
shipment of new spring hats. just re-
cclyrd nj the millinery foundry, and
Won were 50 Interested you forgot the
lapse Of time. and didn't get home In
time 10 cook anything. But you flashed
u winning smile AT me, and said IL
wouldn't take You ten minutes Ia warm
M n can Of beans and there was some
cold coffee left from breakfast, and You
had plenty Of smoked herringS on
hand
"DouhtleSS 7 should have burst forth
into hoiNtcrous laughter over this en-
tertaining anccdote, hut somehow IL
didn't appeal 10 my sense Of humor.
| was So busy that day | hadn't time
10 eat anything AT noon. and all the
way home ! was hoping you would
have porterhouSe steak about three
inches thick. and raft of boiled po-
tatucS. and perhaps slab Of mlnce
pie ms an epilogue.
THE DAY before that when | came
home ms hollow as bass drum and
fairly gnashing my teeth with hun
ger you related a humorous story 10
the effect that your club didn't adjourn
on time that afternoon, and you didn't
get home until late, So | would have
10 get along with picked-up supper,
II | would he patient "A few minutes,
YOU said. To make the story seem more
spicy. you would hoil an egg for me,
and there was cold corn bread in the
cupboard
"Such stories. Mrs. JameSworthy
may seem highly amusing to an limo
cent bystander, and | have no doubt
they would make great hit II written
up and printed In London Punch, but
there Is something wrong with my
sense of humor, or l am at the wrong
end of the stories. Anyhow, l can't
gurgle over them as l do over Honey
bugs yarns"