The Lamar register., 1921-04-06

mojation Tor all our population at less
than half the pre-war fares.
| stood aghast at this outrageous
violation OF the sacred right of free
speech.
''You dare TO forbid the use of the
words Liberty Equality Justice,
Freedom p" | demanded of Profess
sor Sopologos, with an Indignation
that ! could scarcely control.
NO" he answered, These are very
noble words. They stand for great
realities. Therefore we allow no Aris-
topian to take them upon his tongue
unless he can define the exact sense
show that he reyerences the august
principles which these words embody.
For instance, man was recently
heard to pronounce the word Equal
ity.' He was instantly hailed before
Is magistrate of the court for testing
abstract words and phrases, and was
asked to explain what he meant by
Equality II came out that his idea
of Equality was contained in the fol-
lowing formula-that punctually at II
quarter to eight every morning, the
State should deliver to every man,
woman. and child, a quarter of pound
Of the primest rasher of Wiltshire
bacon perfectly fried and sizzling hot;
a large pat of the very best fresh
butter, and free admission ticket to
the reserved stalls at the cinema He
was fined fifty pounds.
Another man who was using the
word Liberty as if it were his own
private property, was brought before
the same court and was asked for n
concrete definition of the word. He
said that in any commonwealth worth
living in. every citizen should have the
right to choose his own job, to decide
how many hours he would work, and
to fix his own rate of wages; that if
his Rights in these respects were in
fringed. he should be empowered to
call off all the other workers from
their jobs, and to keep them unem-
ployed till the matter was settled to
his own satisfaction. Amy other form
of Liberty he declared to be a mock
cry. He was fined five hundred
pounds, and was forbidden to use
words of more than one syllable for
five years"
| inquired whether the imposition of
the tax had reused any antagonism.
The professor said that at first they
were threatened with considerable op-
position, but that this was easily
quelled by the judicious erection in all
public places of free drinking foun-
tains, running delicious beverage
with an alcoholic infusion. There was
Mt first some apprehension of danger
Gus results from the unrestricted use
of these free drinking fountains, but
on the whole they judged it to be SAT-
er and wiser to allow the populace to
indulge themselves in alcohol than in
the more noxious poisons of catch
words and phrases. For whereas the
very great majority of men can be
trusted to know when they have had
enough alcoholic liquor. they are quite
unable to exercise any self-control of
their Unsuitable anr perennial thirst
for spurious verbiage.
He said that by the operation of
these two measures, the free drinking
fountains and the drastic tax on alb
stract words, the Aristopians had at
tanned sobriety and sanity of judg
ment in all their political, social, and
economic affairs, which was in start
ling contrast to the confusion and in
stability of thought prevailing in
England.
Feeling an intense sympathy for
you, Mr.. Chancellor, in your present
difficulties, / resolved l would bring
this matter before you. Undoubted-
ly the tax would be difficult to collect,