davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-01-30
AdUiCe To Mister
ManueLM Matter
RECLAIMED Thrones
RY TRANKLIN d. RoGERs.

or all the royalty paradiug
around Europe with nothing "a par
ticular 10 do but attempt 20 paw:
the crown jewels. Constantine o..
Greece was the luCkiest He is bac'
.D Athens with none II him mis-
Ing. and again he has the right O..
10 make everybody call hlm Ma5es-.
instead OF plain Mister.
Probably the return o. his broth
er-in-luw didn't stir "a sreat deal %
ambition In the heart OF old 81.
Hohenzollern. safely peuned un g..
Holland But that youuE Ilc.
former King Manuel OF Portueua- D.
likely 70 be more anxious L. gambl.
on his chances.
Perhaps Manuel IS delud-d lrt'
thinking the Portuguese want alrr
as badly as for centuries they want
ed Dom Sebastian. Now Sebastla'
b went on d cruise ia 1874 and wa
killed in northern Africa I'm 1873. h
superstition arose that he had bees
enchanted. and IN the hour OK Por-
tuguals greatest need he would re-
turn. 10 didn't work out that wa.
for the kingdom, gradually losing Dr. -
foreign colonies, sank down, and B."
fact for 8 years its seat OF govern
came the first OF the attempts 81
revolution that finally shook or Oh.
monarchy.
The Portuguese. YOU see, learnc
finally 20 depend ON themselves. moi
some enchanted king. FOR llerr
They have had a republic now fur
several years. unlike the Greeks
and being used 70 bossing thcu
selves. it's not IN the least likely
they'll ever want 20 koWtow 20 little
Manuel.
II the young man IS looking for
some sound advice. which isn't lik,
~, he'll do his best 10 overcome taa
immigration restrictions and take
the first boat for the L. s. A where
he'll learn something about r,-
public. Then. II he's good. and gets
his crown melted NJ and turned
into something useful. maybe th
Portuguese folk Will let him come
back some day-not as king. bu'
just as plain Mister Manuel
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-01-30
ISN'T 1T WONDERFUL?
EVERYBODYS SAYING 1T
BY LOUISE ALLEMAN.

Certain words spring into prornin-
ence and constant usage ofttimes
make them obnoxious. The adjec-
tive ''wond erful'' right now IS in the
midst OF reign that TO some revOlu-
tionists seems too long and unde-
servedly popular. IN the theater you
hear Isn't she wonderful ?" In the
restaurant you learn that the sauer
kraut or the herring is wonderful"
In school you have a wonderful"
lesson or a wonderful" teacher On
the car lines there are wonderful
conductors and at concerts the tai
ent OF the artists IS wonderful"
The word Is used by men and
women IN every walk OF life with
strangely similar gusto. Is Il a re-
Election on the paucity OF appropri-
ate adjectives or Is IL a habit that
we get into in describing everything
from pins TO locomotives as wonder
ful2 Keeping 10 one word means
that people are either aping some
psuedo perfectly proper person or
that the person repeating and re-
peating the word should purchase a
book OF synonyms for all oc-
casions"
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-01-30

Ny Daughter. hear now the Par
able OF the So zen Marriageables and
the one Eligible. For thus. uneven
". are the things OF this world d.
vided.
Behold, a gilded youth OF Babylon
Visited a certain Small City. where
dwelt seven damsels OF exceeding
great charm.
And each Of the damsels said in
her heart:
"Lo. now is the chance Of life
time, Now. shall 1 capture the
PRIZE for which all my days,
have been waiting!"
And she set herself TO prepare for
the getting in of her fine work"
And behold. when the Young Man
arrived, his eyes were smitten and
his ears enchanted, and all his senses
delighted.
For. the Beauty Of the flock
sought TO dazzle him; yea, with
hcnna and kohl and curling tOnEs
and smiles and glances. she bewild-
cred him. And he turned from her
lest his eyes be blinded, and his
judgment lost.
a
Christmas tree for his sight. But
even while he applauded her style D
ne could not SEE the woman. fol
her clothes.
And the Domestic Young Thlnl
! fed him from the chatting and
brought forth the Home Brew
/ wherewith TO regale him.
And the Clinging Vine hung L
| his coat lapel and piled him with
| baby-talk and with feeble-mindeC
questions. and appealed to hi
Mighty Intellect.
And the Vamp filled him Will
flattery and suspicion, and the fumes
( OF Oriental perfume.
And the Wit sparkled with cpl
grams. and sCintillated with repair
tee. until he fled from her in fright
But the Seventh Damsel sat within
/ her house and waited patiently unit
the coming OF the Youth. And, whel
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-01-30
MRS. SOLOMON 81 VS.
By Helen RozcLand
Being Confessions Of Wife 7OOth
By Helen Ro1cland

he appeared. she greeted him lightly
and sent him out TO gather firewood,
and set him 10 building a fire upon
her hearth. And when he had Nm
lshed, she gave him a hammer and
tools. and babe him mend the rain
pipe for her Yea. all day, did she
keep him busy, at fetching and car
rylng and the doing Of odd jobs.
And. when he pleaded hunger. she
babe him go and forage in the pan
try and plumber the refrigerator for
food. and regale himself upon what
ever ne might find therein. And the
Youth was delighted. and helped
himself nightly 10 old pie and
cold chicken and sundry bottled
things.
And when he had eaten and had
rested from his labors. the Dam
sci praised his work, and gave him
permission 10 smoke his pipe. and
depart.
But the Youth could not tear him
self away; and he pleaded with her,
saying:
Nay. Adorable Woman Send me
not from thy side. For Home was
never Ike THIS. When wilt thou
marry me- AlldA 4 may ht AAag otGlf e
and do thy chores forever ?"
But, when I questioned he Dam
sci saying. Where didst thou ac-
quire thy wisdom and thy dope
, concerning the charming OF men
she answered me. saying:
"Oh Mother, hast thou not otter
declared that men viii be bOys?'
And 10. a small boy yearneth only
to be permitted to play with hi.
own toys, TO build fires 10 hammel
things and 10 forage in the pantry
for his own food
And all the days Of his life, h,
HATETH to be coddled. chaperoned
worshipped. and ENTERTAINED
Verify. verify. the only way &C
hold a man. is TO give him some
thing 10 play with, and let him &c
! his OWN way"
Selah.
Copyright. 1920
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-01-30
Justice and Lac
Made Useless By
Court Procedure
BY ARTHUR III. REID.

1t must be plain TO every student
of legal procedure that the opera
lions of the law in similar crimes in
different courts OF the United States
are too uncertain and varied 20 Sc
cure the chief purpose OF lew-en-
tOrCement-the reduction, II not
elimination. Of crime.
When a man was caught IN Buff
falo on Thanksgiving day almost in
the act of committing murder. he
was promptly indicted and placed
on trial. He was convicted a few
days ago or first degree murder and
is awaiting the electric chair-all
within a few weeks OF the date Of
the crime. 1t cannot be claimed
that the man has been railroaded to
his death, for he has been given all
the time necessary TO make his de-
tense before the law; but there have
been none Of the long delays which
are so common in the courts, caused
by technical objections TO the func-
tiOning OF the law.
Many criminals declare In a
boastful manner that the probable
tiles Of escaping the punishment
provided by the law for their acts
against society are good. and they
I profess the willingness to take a
chance with the delays which may
be obtained in the courts and the
prospects Of obtaining an early re-
| lease even If convicted and sent TO
prison. The prOmptness with which
: the New York murderer was con-
victed OF his crime and the reason
able certainty that he will receive
| the legal penalty therefor should
/ have good effect I'm restraining
many others from the commission Of
Z like crimes. The electric chair is
not an inviting prospect for even
/ the most desperate criminal.
Just how much OF the RESPONSE
| bility for the widespread crime
wave rests upon the lldatory prac-
/ tices in the courts ma never be
known. but II seems plain that de-
/ lays in the operations Of the law
have had the effect of encouraging
the criminal elements 10 take
| chances on escaping the penalties of
/ the law.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-01-30
Say High Rents
Are Induced By
House Scarcity
RY HARRTMAN CLFMS.

one OF the greatest factors in the
cost Of living TO most wage-earners.
large numbers of whom do not own
their own homes, is the rents which
prevail in most communities. In
crcasirg demand for homes and adj
vancing costs Of building have
caused rents 20 grow rapidly.
1t is practically agreed By persons
who have made even "a slight study
OF conditions that rents will not be
reduced until more homes are built.
and II Is Just as certainly agreed that
little building will be done until
construction costs are reduced.
With the spring season approach
ing. contractors and builders are be-
coming interested IN any plans that
will bring about a resum ption OF
building. not only Of homes. but of
factories and business blocks, OF
which little has been done since the
beginning Of the war.
Lumber dealers make the claim
that prices OF their products have
been reduced from 25 to 30 per cent.
but lumber is not the only material
or commodity that enters INTO the
cost OF construction. other mater
ials are required. and the item Of
labor enters largely into the building
cost.
Few workers in the building
trades have employment. and un-
less there Is a marked reduction In
the cost of construction of build
ings, il seems plain that unemploy-
ment Will continue TO prevail to a
large degree. The public IS on q
strike against high prices. and this
strike applies as much 20 building
lines as II does TO merchandise. In
vestments Will be made when prices
are lower but not before.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-01-30

Miss Tawney Apple, ticket seller
O. tn Fairy Grotto nickel theater
had [ go [ tn Peoples Bank Yer
change fer dime tday.
a well dressed stranger wuz ar
rested t'day. by Constable Plum fer
tryln' { trade a croquet set fer his
breakfast.
Laurel Mapes. late O. tn Last
Chance garage. ls invoicin' his silk
shirts. tday. after which he has no
plans fer tn future.
Lemmie Peters has abandoned tn
saxophone till things brighten up.
Joe Kite mortgaged fur lined
overcoat t'day { see tn last cpl
sode O. blizzard Bob, at tn Fairy
GrOtto.
TIL Golden Rule grocery has an
nounced that it'll take photograph
records at 10 percent below face
value TIL further notice.
Copyright. 1920
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-01-30
SLUMP NOTES

Back Bone. three miles east O. town.
Joe Bales, ex-riveter. is helpin'
out with tn Saturday rush at tn o.
X livery barn.
II hain't seen tn inside OF a the
alter fer nearly two days" said
Pinky Kerr, this mOrnin'.
TIL Teller that used Z strap a calf
. his Ford an go { town when he
wanted a suit o. clothes now takes
a truck load o hogs
= Tipton Bud gave his sister a fine
hog full O. $3.50 corn tday.
Tell Binkley is pracucin' on a
pipe.
Sade Moots. o tn night shift az
tn tile mill. is seekin' a recOncilia-
ton with her husband.
tn Teller that used Z ask fer tn
best cigar in tn house now lights
his pipe an goes out.
Tn family o. Joe Spry wuz found
wrapped in oriental rugs behind tn
pianner in a starved condition tday.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-01-30

As wuz predicted. an as wuZ
Z be expected. tn economic reaction
has set in down here fer sure. Moth
IN since tn memorable hurricane
o 1871 has scrambled things as
violently an completely as tn closin'
down o. tn tile mill an tn Christ
mus reaction. Folks that lavished
costly gifts right an left are now
wonderin' where Their next tire IS
comm from. Folks that hut recent
~ rolled along IN luxurious sedans
are fleein I IN foothills. while
many are determined stay here
an make tn best OF II.
9TH worst thing about sudden adj
versity is gittin' used Z waikin'. p"
said Artie Small, O tn brick yard,
tday.
Miss Fern Pash, late O. tn OPP
timcrist counter O. tn Monarch 3
an I0-cent store. Is NJ liberty.
Upton Bud is haUlin' stove wood
in his 50, 200 sedan from TIL Devirs
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-01-30
SOUTH THREATENING
TO CUT COTTON CROP
BY HAMILTON MLLER.

There Is a general movement n
the cotton belt 20 cut the cotton
acreage next season. There is
similar movement 20 cut the acre
age IA tobacco. The farmers ara
urged 10 such action in order 10 grt
better prices.
This is a natural procedure. Farm
ers cannot be expected 10 coutiuuf
raising crops at a loss. II i= aI-p
sensible and legitimate, on one cone
dition. This condition is that
wherever a farmer withdraws ID
piece OF land from cotton or Tobacco
culture. no plants IL Ira some 9th
useful crop
II is not necessarily "ma-ha-
NAUTICAL fact as an Atlanta news
paper maintains. nor "as clear "a l
mornings sunrise that cone ha.
OF cotton produced next fail inslca d
of two viii yield 10 the grower rola-
lively more money than two ba.
would yield No grower knows cN-
actly what the crop and mark' E.
conditions will Dee next FAIL and hoE
ne viii come out with given guam
titv OF any product But the A.
lanta paper is on solid ground win D.
IL supplements its crOp-cutJng pl,
with this advice TO the cotton
growers:
Live at home. Produce the things
called life necessities Raise 9th g.
crops where il is possible 60 DO So
Try pigs. Cattle-anythiug
Diversified crops are dcs.rll..
anywhere, particularly i'm the south.
They afford security 90 a section auu
an Individual. But curtailmcnt OF s..
vital staple as cotton without o.
comparative raising of other crop
would be neither sensible Tor tsa
south nor fair 20 the rest ~ tas
country.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-01-30
Ignorant Essays
BY ]. P. McEVOY

you TO visit them occasionally. how
ever. while on ice. as they get rest
less. especially IN the summer and
after the second or third day are
liable 20 become disseminated and
protest vigorously.
Fishing is easy for YOU If you
have a sharp hook ana a dull con-
science. What you don't catch
In closing. l might say that there
are really only two classes of fish
fresh fish which live in fresh water
and salt fish which live in salt wa
ter. and these are IN turn. subdi-
yided into fried fish. baked fish,
boiled fish. stewed fish. shirred fish.
poached fish. and fish balls And
there are behring's which are pas
sionately fond OF being klppered.
Having never been lippcred. 7 can
not explain the process; but &c mus.
be satisfactorv because they look
absolutely satisfied.
Fish are said 10 bee "A fine brain
food, but no one ever saw a fisher
man who looked ike a testimou-
ial.
Copyright. 1920.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-01-30
FISH.

FISH.
Evidently all fish are related
they live on each other like real
relatives.
Fish are cold-blooded animals
found IN rivers. lakes. delicatessens.
and tin cans. They are not intelli-
gent: they think water Is good TO
drink and have extremely low fore
heads.
Fish consist almost entirely of
scales, bones, and gibIets. Especi-
ally is this true OF perch which are
the original pernicious piscatorial
pests Perch are served in large
quantities and often there is an
ounce Of food in a ton of them.
You leave most OF them behind on
your plate. but what you leave there
isn't worth more than three cents
on the dollar.
The sardine u the flat dweller
OF the fish tribe. He is never so
happy as when there are too many
OF him in a can. II was from the
sardine that modern traction eX-
perts got the inspiration for pack
ing strap-hangers into street cars.
However. the sardl1e has the best
OF Il all the time. He doesn't have
10 stand up.
Fish come II assorted sizes and
shapes. from the eel which is Ions
and practically hipless 20 the floun-
der which Is short and flat.
Fish are eaten in large quantities
on Friday. hence fish have always
considered Friday their unlucky day
They make excellent companions
They are sociable. kind-hearted and
very good listeners. They can be
kept either In a bowl like goldfish
or in a can like sardlnes or on ice
like lake trout. We should advise
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-01-30

advancement toward the metropolitan Blackstone
is Of the signs. Tho two new newspaper Offices
others-the new News-Times quarters being al
ready in use and that of our contemporary near
completion. have it now that the First National
bank is contemplating new. modern. bank and Of
flee building on the site of the I. o. o. F. block Main
and Washington with the Masonic temple at
ColfaX and Main St. which it is said will be built
soon; the extension upward of the Union Trust
Bldg, along with number OF other downtown i'm
prOvements, everything points encouragngly TO a
skyline. That is one the things we need for
metropolitan appearance. We need it about bad
anything
Indeed, yes we emerging from a sort or
lethargy. The Blackstone Theater corporation Is to
be highly congratulated If it adheres to the prom
ise made for 1t by Mr. John G. Yeagley in his ad-
dress of presentation. it is more than playhouse.
but will be a grand contribution 10 the civic, in
ellectual moral and religious uplift The stage,
the s:reen is capable of great good. and has long
beer accorded It's place along side the church the
school and the press. educational influence.
We wish to congratulate both the corporation and
the stockholders They have acted in keeping with,
only the new business but the new civic spirit.
Bethman- HoIlweg may have stuck to the German
notion about treaties to the last breath but in the
world to which he has gone he may discover that
mere scrap Of PAPER.
Tennessee considers haltng Sunday trains" reads
a news line. Are they to be tagged when they cross
the state line and made to stop in their tracks 2'
hours?
Employers lowering wages 50 that they
make goods to sell at lower prices. And that's all
right, # they viii sell goods lower prices
It reported that 35. 900 miles OF new paved high
ways are planned for this year With all that guam
t.ty OF good roads. ought to get somewhere.
-O-
The retiring blind chaplain Of the house was paid
a compliment that counts when he was voted IN
annuity OF s125 a month.
some people talk optimism and others give deeds
instead Of words by buckling down to the work that
helps to make things so.
II there any supern1en IN American busi-
ness world, It's the men who know how TO make out
their income reports
After all Germany may lead the way IN dsarma-
ment-if the allies stick to it and insist on the
terms OF the treaty
Austria gave It up put itself IN the hands Of
allied receivers when Vienna wordngrnen began to
hang prohteers.
Activity Reported In Notions Trade" Yee. we
noticed that reading reports on recent activities
in congress.
Sure. let Russia work out her own salvation! And
the more she works tbe quicker the salvation will
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-01-30
AriStOCraCy
In ARTHUR RItOOKS BAkEK

A long and blue ancestral I-c ~
noble men and women.
VIII get YOU iG the sCc.a. swim a1
aid you with the sw.mm.u'.
It's hard 20 have q family tree ur
poster0usly recent.
To be a simple parveDu ts lorri
indecent
Go. get the sleuths OF heraldry
look with keen inspection
Upon the musty records ~ ya--
source and your connection
They'll trace SOU back 20 -os
dukes and dukes are social wia-
ners
Though personally ,hey may DE u.-
pardOuabte sinners.
They'll find In you the gore Of kings
"a much az they know how t.-
And make OF you biueolood tha-
the neighbOrs VIII k0wt0w o..
They'll label you aristocra- a first
and foremost rtriter.
II al. your large and frequent chez =
are honored oy the banker
It makes q mortal human uncord.>
tlonaly happy
To learn or great aclieFeWeuts
some far ancestral pappv.
For no one ever cares about -a-
deeds by you and me done
They dig our great-preat- granada
up and ask US 'Wha- has g..
d0nc?"
And ~ be drove SIX horses Jo q
-er-uslu-eE carriage.
They t.e Us 70 their daughters e. ths
holy bonds Of marriage.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-01-30

The probability is that when the
world finally does learn the truth
about Russia il viii have lcst most
OF It's interest in knowing
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-01-30

T. may not bee possible 90 reform
criminal by sending him 90 prison
but a lot OF folk feel better % know
ne is there
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-01-30

What appears 10 be needed o.
aid prohibition Is a little more hair
oil and not so much alcohol ia
some Of the beverages
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-01-30

Congress will be wise II Il dis
covers how 20 levy necessary taxes
without causing too much pain TO
the taxpayeTA
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-01-30
CONTEMPLATING THE BLACKSTONE.

CONTEMPLATING THE BLACKSTONE
n LACF1STONE theate- IS, indeed, credit the
D stockholders and 20 the city of south Bend. APP
proximately $500 people marveled its beauty the
arrangement. and wealth Of color. when 10 was
thrown open 70 them Friday night. As picture
house It IS simply superb. That IS what it is built
for Beyond that it IS like an auditorium than
,heater
s.--a Bend IS beginning TO show some signs OF
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-01-30

Economy consists IN saving on the
price and getting the quality.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-01-30

These mOtOrcar gangsters may
soon become bold enough 70 apply
for papers OF incorporation with the
idea Of selling stock.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-01-30

Some folk think they have done
their duty by a Woodworking insur-
ance agent when they ind a place
for one OF his calendars.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-01-30

Single Copies. Sunday, 10 cents with morning OF
evening editions 20 cents weekly delivered by carriers
seven papers the week.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-01-30

C0rkscrcws are still being MAD p
for some iuk and uucllage bottles
but 10 some persons lt seems Ike r.
degenerate use.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-01-30
Reflections of a
Bachelor Girl

Surely, no man ever WAS as stu
pid. as he looks to his wife, when
he's asleep.
When a man can't tell you his
reason for getting married. IL IS usu-
ally because some girl has decided
that she wants TO put Mrs" on her
cards.
a woman's mind is like little
"flivver" car; 1t will run up hill
and down again: scurry around the
corner of a. subject, without upset
ting her; dodge skilfully through a
mass OF masculine arguments; and
keep right on going fntermina bly,. on
the weeniest bit OF fuel.
\ man will sing Home. Sweet
Home" for hours, Just in order to
put of going there.
When love Is dead, a woman shuts
the door OF her heart and mOurns. a
man rushes 10 open the door OF his
and let in another love.
A confirmed bachelor has no fur
mace TO tend 10. no servant problem
TO worry about, no window boxes to
plant, and no mOther-in-law 10 quar-
rel with. No wonder ne spends his
time swearing at a little golf-bal
flirting with other mems wives, de-
tying the 18th amendment. reading
Nietzsche, and plying himself
IN love. a womans most effective
weapon Is smile-a mans, is a
sigh.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-01-30

The danger iu using r1achir.
guns against bandits Is thai tn
things scatter too much.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-01-30

Austria gave It up and put itself IN the hands Of
allied receivers when Vienna workingnen began to
hang profiteers.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-01-30

barber shop to -ct away from hone
AZ leaet gets dlHerc1- lime OF tall.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-01-30

Surely. no man ever WAS as stu
pid. as he looks 10 his wife, when
he's asleep.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-01-30

Activity Reported In Notions Trade" Yes we
not ced that in reading reports on recent activities
in cong ress.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-01-30

Sure. let Russia work out her own salvation! And
the more she works the quicker the salvation viii
come.