Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1921-01-09
'StampsShOuld ShOwWhat's
Inside Letter. Says Ring

OF the demice OF some relative or
friend its o. X. to use one of the
present stamps with Washington's
picture or some other party that's
dead.
But the most Of the stamps would
half to be brand new, with photos on
them to fit all the different kinds of
letters. For inst. would fix it so
that when you wrote a letter that
you thought was comical you could
buy a stamp with Charley Chaplin's
picture.
When you sent a person the MONTH
ly statement of what they owed you.
the stamp for it would have a pic
ture of some famous man named Bill.
like Bryan or Hart or Sunday or the
kaiser.
II you wrote letter enclosing some
money the stamp would be a picture
Of some notorious Jack, say Demp-
sey or Pershing or Barrymore or
Jilrs husband.
stamped with picture of the Haig
boys or Mr.. volstead. according to
the party.
The regrets would carry a photo
of Ludendorf or a group picture Of
the Yale football squad.
A invitation to q wedding would
have on it a design Of q minister
holding a SEQ tip in his mitt.
Also / would make it compulsory
for people that wrote and asked you
to dinner to buy one or two styles of
stamps, either with picture Of a
man in a dress suit or q picture of
wouldn't be no argument about what
Love letters would be stamped with
a photo Of movie actress. according
to how much you dast say in them.
After I had ran the dept. a vile and
they was a big surplus on hand I
would go a step further than the
which l have always thought 1t would
be ideal. namely to have every letter
stamped with the picture of the party
who the letter was for and also a
picture Of the party that wrote 1t.
In this way you wouldn't half to open
suppose you met the mail man on the
st. and he recognized you from your
picture. why he could say:
Wait a minute. I have got letter
to your house. AS for the picture Of
the sender. ! would have it made q
criminal offence for say a concern like
the gas Co. to get you to read their
mail by stamping 1t with a picture
of another movie actress.
In the case found it impossible to
carry out my idears in regards to
stamps for a vile. I would put in
effect a temporary scheme that would
be a trouble saver, namely, I would
have the clerks in he p. o. open up
all your mail anlSsif they Thought
they was anything in 1t you might
like to know they could call you up
or wait till you dropped In the P. o.
some time and tell you about it.
would also abolish the dead letter
office though they tell me it never
done such a big business as lately,
but ! can't. see no reason for haveing
1t. My idear is that IL the person
who a letter Is addressed to can't
be located, why, send it to some poor
family that don't get many letters
wished you would give me a whirl
ut this portfolio, w. g.. as the more
think Of 1t like it even better than
secy. of state because stepping into
some mems shoes is like following
Nora Bayes ON a vaudeville hill, but
this will be like going on after Geo.
Devine the 5uggler. but any way IL I
don't hear from you one way or the
other in a few days l will think they
must be something wrong with the
postal service.
RING W. LARDNER.
LonE'S Island. January Z