Palatka daily news. [volume] (Palatka, Fla.) 1919-1994, 1921-11-07
TOURISTS To RUSS
NEED SOME INSECT
POWDER EN- ROUTE

contemplate a trip to Soviet Russia
would do well to equip themselves
with an abundance of insect powder,
patience, optimism, warm clothing,
money and canned heat.
They will need the insect powder
long before they get to Russia. Bed
bugs and coolies have taken a great
liking to the railway cars and hotels
in Poland, Lithuania, Latvia and Es-
thonia. They also enjoy life on the
Baltic ships.
Consequently it is difficult to reach
either Riga or Reval, the two gate
ways to Soviet Russia, with out en-
countering the crawling Gordon.
Filtering into Russia is slow pro-
cess. 1t is no job for nervous and
impatient folks. Those who go to
Reval to get permission from the
Bolshevist authorities usually wish
they had gone to Riga. Accommo-
dating Danes have established an
airline between the two ports for I'M
easy folk who desire to ease down
their nerves by flying back and forth
and rapping at both entries. 1t takes
two hours to make the flight while
the railway trip consumes "a hours.
And so far vermin have not shown
60 +b;e ~,
The Bolshevist legations at Reval
and Riga present prospective visit
ors to Moscow with a formidable
QUESTIONABLE in Russian including
such queries as:
what kind of immovable proper
ty do you own, if any? Describe it !
what are your political views?
Are you a member of a party in any
country? Did you participate in the
great war? What is your religion?
These questions are all pretty diff
fcult for the ordinary bourgeois
American who is good bit of a po-
litical mugwamp and hasn't much
religion, but is anxious to say the
thing which will facilitate his en-
try and not stretch the truth too vio-
lently.
One hears on all sides that the Boil
shevists have been deceived so often
by pretended liberals that even d
Coo;,I;-+ oF +bo nor1O, ,ar;a+,r ie n nj
to be scrutinized more carefully thar
an applicant who doesn't assume t
be sympathetic with Bolshevis
ideals In sheer desperation "repub
1ican" is written down in the hope
that Moscow will offset Mr.. Hard
ing's position on Russian recogni
ton by the fact that Senator France
is enrolled with Karl Marx among
the immortals and Secretary of Com
merce Hoover is feeding a million
Russian children.
Then one hastily inscribes himsel
as a Methodist or a Presbyterian O
and Episcopalian. 1t is difficult t,
fib about ones church affiliations
even to facilitate entry into a Ian,
controlled by a government whicl
SCOTS at religion.
There is great temptation to en-
roll as a draft evader. That ough
to be a guarantee of speedy entr!
into a land which doesn't believe il
any wars except those it makes it
self. But the new Russian secre
service is more omniscient than tina
of the late Car, so one admits TIL
truth and prayerfully hands in hi
paper with the hope that the Mos
COW examining committee won
funk him.
Here the endurance test begins.
may last six days. 1t may last 81!
weeks, or even six months. Their
are not places on the Moscow train
There are few rooms for stranger
in Moscow and PetrogTad. Conse
quentIy the Soviet government
weighs applications carefully AM
acts slowly. If you are able to off
er millions to develop Russia, yoD
may get quick action.
If you are patient enough the re
ply from Moscow may arrive beforr
you leave Berlin or London in DIES
peration. If it is affirmative, peac,
must be made with the American
consul by turning over to him you
cherished passport and getting a pa
per in exchange which induces TIT
Latvian government to permit yol
to leave Latvia and return.
The wise of the Bolshevist Legation
comes next and railway ticket il
provided by the Bolshevist officials
who must be paid in English pound!
or American dollars. There is NJ
longer any scoffing at the engrav
ings of George Washington, Ulysse:
S. Grant, Abraham Lincoln or George
v.
If you happen to strike lucky
night you will be given a berth in a
French international sleeping car
If it is an off night you will proba-
bly, get couchette in Russian car.
But it really doesn't make much diff
ference. They both require the same
amount of insect powder.
Your English-speaking compan-