The Washington herald., 1921-03-06
NE day last summer r went to
Pittsburgh--well, had to 60
there on busineaa

usually sees on chafr-cars. Most OF
them were ladies in brown silk
dresses cut with square yokes, with
lace insertion, and dotted-veifs, who
refused to have the windows raised.
Then there was the usual number
Of men who looked as II they might
be in almost any business, and GO
ing almost anywhere: Some stu
dents OF human nature can look at
a man in a Pullman and tell you
where he Is from. his occupation
and his stations In life, both nag
and social; but I never could. The
only way / can correctly judge a
fellow traveller 10 when the train is
held up by robbers. or when he
reaches at the same time / do for
the last towel in the dressing room
Of the sleeper.
The porter came and brushed the
collection of SCOT on the window
sill on to the left knee Of my trous-
ers. I removed 1t with an air Of
apology. The temperature was
eighty-eight. One of the dotted
veiled ladies demanded the closing
Of two more ventilators, and spoke
loudly of Interlaken. leaned back
Idly in chair No. 2, and looked with
the tepidest curiosity at the small,
black. baTd-headed head. just visible
above the back of No.
Suddenly No. . hurled book to
the floor between his chair and the
window. and, looking, / saw that IT
was The Rose Lady and Trevel-
yam" one of the best-selling novels
of the present day. And then the
critic or Philistine, whichever he
was, veered his chair toward the
xrrfn ~ hfr. n
for John A. Pescud. OF Pittsburgh,
travelling salesman for a plate glass
company an old acquaintance whom
I had not seen in two years.
In two minutes we were faced,
had shaken hands, and had finished
with such topics as rain, prosperity,
health, residence, and destination.
Politics might have followed next,
but l was not so i'll fated.
1 wish you might know John A.
Pescud. He Is of the stuff that
heroes are not often lucky enough
to be made of. He Is q small man
with a wide smile, and an eye that
seems to be fixed upon that little red
spot on the end of your nose. I never
saw him wear but one kind of neck
tie, and he believes in cuff holders
and button shoes. He Is as hard and
true as anything ever turned out by
the Cambria Steel Works: and he be-
1ieves that as soon as Pittsburgh
makes smoke consumers compulsory,
st. Peter will come down and sit at
the foot of Smithfield street and let
somebody else attend to the gate up
in the branch heaven. He believes
that "our" plate glass is the most
important commodity in the world,
and that when q man is In his home
town he ought to be decent and law
abiding.
During my acquaintance with him
in the City of Diurnal Night 1 had
never known his views on life, ro-
nance. literature and ethics. We had
browsed during our meetings on
local topics. and then parted, after
Chateau Margaux, Irish stew, flannel
cakes, cottage pudding, and coffee
(hey, there! with milk separately
Now I was to get more of his ideas.
By way OF facts, he told me that
business had picked up since the
party conventions. and that he was
going to get on at Coketown.
Say" said Pescud, stirring his
discarded book with the toe of his
right shoe; did you ever read one of
NhSoc oNSN SCiASAo. ihCah kuC
where the hero is an American swell
sometimes even from Chicago
who falls in love with a royal prin-
cess from Europe who is travelling
under an alias, and follows her to
her fathers kingdom or principal
ity? 1 guess you have. They're all
alike. Sometimes this going-away
masher Is a Washington newspaper
correspondent, and sometimes he is
Van Something from New York. or
a Chicago wheat broker worth fifty
millions. But he's always ready to
break into the king row Of any for
eign country that sends over their
queens and princeses to try the new
plush seats on the Big Four or the
b. & o. There doesn't sem to be any
other reason in the book for their
being here.
We'll, this fellow chases the royal
chair warmer home, as I said, and
finds out who she is. He meets her
On the corso or the strasse one even
ing and gives us ten pages of con-
versation. She reminds him Of the
difference in their stations, and that
gives him a chance to ring in three
| solid pages about Americas un-
crowned sovereigns. II you'd take
his remarks and set 'em to music
and then take the music away from
'em, they'd sound exactly like one of
George Cohan's songs.
We'll, you know how IL runs on
III you've read any Of 'em-he slaps
the kings Swiss bodyguards around
like everything when they get in
his way. He's a great fencer, too
Now, I've known Of some Chicago
men who were pretty notorious
fences, but never heard of any
fencers coming from there. He
stand on the first landing Of the
royal staircase in Castle Schutzen-
festenstein with a cleaning rapier
inshis hand, and makes Baltimore
broil Of six platoons of traitors
who come to massacre the said king.
And then he has to fight duels with
a couple of chancellors, and foil a
plot by four Austrian archdukes to
seize the kingdom for a gasoline
station.
But the great scene is when his
rival for the princess hand. Count
Feodor. attacks him between the
portcullis and the ruined chapel
armed with a mitrailleuse, q yata-
CHAN. and a couple Of Siberian
bloodhounds. This scene is what
runs the best-seller into the twenty
ninth edition before the publisher
has had time to draw a check for
the advance royalties.
The American hero shucks his
coat and throws 1t over the heads
of the bloodhounds gives the mi
trailleuse a slap with his NIT, says
Yah! to the yataghan. and lands
in Kid McCoy's best style on the
courts left eye. OF course, we have
a neat little prizefight right then