The Butler weekly times and the Bates County record. (Butler, Mo.) 1918-1950, 1921-04-28

1 II seems that u
/ C\N was misinformcd A,
1. <N0 to the latest bath
/ 1 ing costume fol
/ women to be worn
4 ~ his year. The fol-
lowin' letter. which | recently e.
4 ceived from a very prominent bath.
| ing beauty" demandin' correction o.
the item may enlighten YOU on the
subject:
Mr.. Sunny Jim:
| Your statement that the bathing
costume for 1921 will consist OF = a
string of beads worn closely up I'LL
der the ears of women is incorrect
and i'll the interests of my sister
ba,hers | ask you to correct said
statement at once. assure you that
there will be no beads worn.
Yours truly,
Miss
Thanks, Miss --, Igladly make
the correction and I may say (in
passing) that it affords me much
pleasure. incidentally | may say that
the male attendance at the beaches
this year will be increased and as !,
ain a great devoteevof Tor to1 the
beautiful in nature shall probably
meet you and make the "amende
honorable" for my error in person.
have often wondered why is a
vice president" Seems to me he is
plumb superfluous. Sort of like wait
in for the death of a rich relative so
as to come into an inheritance, othei.
wise he don't show up. So far as no.
toriety is concerned / would rather
be Justice of the Peace. How about
yuh:
A good many years ago the Indians
traded Manhattan Island to some
pale faces for keg of whiskey, and
opine that in exchange for thai
same key OF firewater today said
lnjuns could buy not only the island
back, but New York city as well.
III say this for Kansas ay Hawks,
they are dom their der1dest to, fuf-
fill the Scriptures. When they meet a
stranger, they take him in.
Harding may be and very likely is
facing perplexin' situation, but the
worst that can possibly befall him
pales into insignificance when CON-
pared to the fellow who drives an
auto and. must take his. orders from
the back seat.
Asked if l considered prohibition
success replied, Il can't afford TO
venture an opinion as prohibition has
not arrived, not yet, in Kansas"
One balmy evenin' last week ! was
passin' along the street. Everybody
had their front doors open and IN
one house a dear young thing was
punishin' piano and disturbin the
peace generally by singin' II would
not live always, | ask not to stay.
Perhaps | was impulsive, but | shore
couldn't refrain from some sort OF
action, so stepped to the door AMI
said, begin your pardon, Miss,
but with mustard greens and wild
onions in the offing, life looks ex
ceedingly bright to me, but if life is
such burden to you as indicated by
the dirge you are handin' out, for the
love O. Mike" (P. S.-That's as far
as got. ! found l was addressin a
phonygraoh with cracked record.)
In these day of short skirts. lip
sticks and rouge it is hard to pick an
honest to gawd sweet young un from
an old un painted over-yas.
Farmer uses dynamite to blow
himself UP, Headline. | wonder
where his old woman was.
All have to say is that if Debs
had got as many votes as he has
jaiD Hardin would still be lookin
aft"r MS brew.
If the firm that makes the patent
medicine | mcnticne. i'll my co urn
Iecently will go $3.50 with me LII
name the one / referred to and we
will soon be millionaires. l have had
50 :rany le,.ers askin for the name
that | simply can't answer them. |
kinda wish | hadn't said anyth ng
about it. But Ill say that if 1 do
tell its name the manufacturing Co
who puts it out will have to hire more
help to supply the demand which my
article has created. (P. Sim sti |
growin.)
'Aphrodite Skirt-Latest Hit,
Headline. By golly, if that's the
skirt l thought saw t'other day }
call it "clean miss"
"What is an informal affair."" was
asked. sWhy,y. seq /, tits havin'
folks you don't care anything abod.
associatin' with come in to dinner
without bein' invited.
Recently ! was approached by an
individual who looked like cross
between Jay Hawk and China.
man and who {judgin' by his com.
plexion) was subject to night
1weats" and Sits" He asked me If
Ishad any regrets for the past, Yes.
sir" SEE I, "old gobbler, shoreiy
have" what part of the past do
goa feel the keenest regret for?" he
asked. why" ser l, "the> drinks ]
passed mp instead of down." (P. ST.
They said to him with f1owers.)
If any> Of you fo1l<s are skeptical
on the matter Of race suicide, just
look 10 the divorce court records and