The Lamar register., 1921-02-02


The ideas Of humor among the green
men OF Mars are widely at variance
with our conceptions OF incitants TO
merr1ment. The death agonies Of
fellow being are. to these strange crea-
ruies, provocative of the widest hilar-
lty, while their chief form Of common
cot amusement IS TO inflict death On
their prisoners of war In various In
geniOus and horrible ways.
The assembled warriors and chief
tains examined me closely, feeling my
muscles and texture OF my skin. The
principal chieftain then evidently sig
nified a desire to see me perform. and.
motioning me 10 follow. he started
with Tars Tarkas for the open plaza.
Now. had made no attempt TO
walk. since my first signal failure. ex-
cept while lightly grasping and fitting
about among the desks and chairs ike
some monstrous grasshopper. After
bruising myself severely. much 10 the
amusement of the Martians. j again
had recourse TO creeping. but this did
not suit them and / was roughly
ierked 70 my feet by q towering fel-
low who had laughed most heartily al
my misfortunes.
As lie banged me down upon my
feet his face was bent close TO mine
and | did the only thing gentleman
might do under the circumstances OF
brutality, boorishness and lack OF CON
sideration for strangers rights:
swung my hst squarely 10 his Jaw and
he went down like a relled OF. As
he sunk 10 the floor | wheeled around
with my back toward the nearest desk.
expecting to be overwhelmed by the
vengeance of his fellows, but deter
mined 10 give them as good a battle
as the unequal odds would permit be-
fore ! gave up my life.
Ny fears were groundless, however,
as the other Martians. at first struck
dumb with wonderment. finally broke
into Wild peais G laughter and ap-
plause. did not recognize the ap-
plause as such. but later. when l had
become acquainted with their customs.
I learned that | had won what they
seldom accord. u manifestation Of ap-
probation.
The fellow whom I had struck lay
where he had fallen. nor did any Of his
mates approach him. Tars Tsrkas ad-
vanced toward me, holding out one Of
his arms. and we thus proceeded TO the
plaza without further mishsp. did
not. of course. know the reason for
which We had come to the open. but
! was not long In being enlightened.
They first repeated the word ''sak''
a number OF times. and then Tars Tar
kas made several jumps. repeating
The same word before each leap; then.
turning TO ne. lie said. "Sak - | saw
what they were after, and gathering
myself together I ''sakked" with such
marvellous success that I cleared
good hundred aud fiffy feet; nor did
| this time lose my equilibrium. hut
landed sqnarety upon my feet wlthout
falling. | then returned by easy jumps
Of twenty-five or thirty feet To the
little group Of warriors
Nv exhibition had been witnessed
by several hundred lesser Martians.
and they Immediately broke into de-
mands for repetition. But | was
both hungry and thirsty. and Ignored
the repeated commands 10 sax" and
each time they We're made | motioned
To- my mouth and rubbed MY stomach.
Tars Tarkas and the chief exchanged
d few words. aud the former. calling
10 young female among the throng
gave her some instructions and mo
toned me TO accompany her.
grasped her proffered arm and to-
gether we crossed the plaza toward
large building on the far side.
Ny fair companion was about eight
feet tall. having Just arrived at ma
irtty, but not yet to her rull height
She was Of light olive-green color.
with a smooth, glossy hide. Her name.
,s | afterward learned. was Sofa and
she belonged TO the retinue OF Tars
rarkas. She conducted me to Il spa
-ious chamber In one OF the buildings
fronting on the plaza, and which. from
he litter of silks aud furs upon the
ioor. I took TO be the sleeping quar-
ers OF several Of the natives.
Sola motioued me 10 be seated upon
1 pile of silks near the center OF the
'oom. and. turning. made a peculiar
Kissing sound. as though signaling TO