davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1921-07-21

WHILE every little boy
CAN'T grow up to be president
HIS chances of rising to be
sTATI1 prohibition enforcement d.
rector
AREN'T SO bad providing
ANY little boy wants to rise that
way.
BEFoRE he Is married
HE needs an entire trunk. entire
dresser
AND entire closet to
HOLD all the clothes that he owns
BUT after a man has been
MARRIED about ten years
HE can get all the clothes he owns
into
ONE OF the drawers in the sewing
machine.
NOTHING Is harder for a southern
paper
AFTER putting in piece that
SOME woman has been stripped.
tarred
AND feathered than to be
SORRY as it ought to be
WHEN somebody gers iynched in the
north.
EVEN when her mirror
CHI
LIKE a pair OF
ICE tongs you
COULDN'T get a girl
TO admit that she
rs bow-legged.
WE note where man died
FROM chewing the ends of matches
AND dying by the phosphorus route
PROBABLY that's what
COMES OF going on too light diet.
ABOUT one more generation
WILL pass and then we suppose the
POLITICAL historians will be
PROVING by irfefutabie evidence
that the
TYPICAL American candidate first
APPEARED in East Chicago or some
other place
DRIVING a Ford with one fender OF
AND the other three rafting badly.
AN expert statistician has estab-
lished
THE fact that it takes
FOUR statute miles of spider web to
WEIGH a grain which leads us to
WONDER how these statisticians az
quire
THEIR bread and butter
WHILE taking the time 10 ngure
out
ALL the things they do.
If there are six or seven small
CHILDREN in n family the neighbor
WOMEN glare at the father
LIKE he had been caught setting fire
TO an ice plant or
ROBBING a poor boy.
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1921-07-21

volatile oil. rich in sulphur.
6-How much sweeter than sugar IS
saccharin? Ans. From 800 TO 500
times.
T-How rapidly does the earth move
around the sun? Ans. AT the rate
Of $4,000 miles per hour.
Slow many stokers were required
on the Leviathan while she was d
troop ship? Ans. Six hundred and
twelve.
9-What is the color of the presidents
eyes? Ans. Blue gray.
10-How fast are the Horseshoe Falls
receeding2 Ans. At the rate of Ave
feet year
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1921-07-21
ANSWERS TO WEDNESDAYS
QUESTIONS

When was the first pocket watch
nader Ans. In 1911 by Peter Hele.
German clockmaker.
blow long does 1t take the egg of
a fly TO develop? Ans. Fourteen days
after the egg is laid the new fly be-
gins laying eggs.
3-What coin was first to bear the
motto In God We Trust?'' Ans. The
three cent piece.
Allow did the accidental deaths on
highways compare to the death rate in
the army Of the United States during
the World War? Ans The accidental
death rate on highways was nearly
twice as large as the death rate in the
army during the war.
5-what causes the strong taste in
onions? Ans. 1t is due to a pungent
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1921-07-21
HOW MUCH
DO YOU KNOW?

What wood will not warp when
exposed to the weather.
What was the number of bank
failures last year?
a-Is It possible TO manufacture each
individual coin according to the fne-
ness required?
4-What is said to be the average
depth of oceans?
5-What is knowledge and what is
wisdom7
Gid the game of golf originate in
Scotland.
What Is foreglow?
s-Do different minis coin different
coins7
(Which coal mines have the great
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1921-07-21

er number of employees working under
ground.
10-How can you tell stars from the
planets?
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1921-07-21

SOME OF the Democratic newspapers who have
been poking fun at President Harding for his delay
IN carving federal pie should give thought the poor
Democrats who going to lose their places the
table when he does.
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1921-07-21

TO those who Toasted on theatrical delights
like these 1t does that the insurgents viii
very far In their attempts establish the
.cosmic zcne" Not unless 1t has in 1t a
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1921-07-21
Il Cold Morning and
II Warm Bedroom

Your bedrooms and all other rooms
can be made warm and comforta-
BILE from early morning all through
the day and night. This is easy
to do with a GLOBE Pipeless
Furnace.
The GLOBE Pipeless Furnace can
be easily and quickly installed in
shallow or deep cellars. No pipe
lines are necessary. No rnutilation
of floors, walls or ceilings.
Every room is made comfortable
while no unnecessary heat is
created in the cellar. Perishable
goods can be safely stored there.
Burn any fuel-coal, wood or coke.
Come in noW-we would like to
tell you more about them.
THE GLOBE STOVE Sc RANGE co.
-Ha.fer Furnace Bsiders-
kokono, Indiana
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1921-07-21

AN ARTIST in New York received word that
q his paintings a prize just in time him
self from eviction for unpaid Nice for things
like that to happen when fellow is fat broke.
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1921-07-21

BURGLARS IN Georgia laboriously opened
safe and took SIS in pennies but overlooked $4,000
in bills left counter They doubt think the
cashier should be punished fer his carelessness.
Evening journal., 1921-09-22
KiIbdne May Demand
500, 900 Purse Next Time

were named. gives the feathers the
impression that they cannot set
fair deal with him here
A howl--a thousand howls-have
gone up over the fouls In the Kill
bano-Frush battle.
About the Fouls.
was al the ringddc. not six feet
from where the unpicasantness in
the first round took place. This is
what happened:
During an exchange OF blows Kill
bane claimed Frush foulcd him. II
certainly looked as II Frush was
going after Kilbane's wind Johnny
turned TO Referee Kelly to protest.
Kelly paid no heed: Fresh contin-
ued his waliops. That angered the
champ. and he drew Frush toward
him with his glove back OF Danny's
neck and deliberately "kneed" him
Kelly sent the two men to their
corners. and rather than stop a fight
that had been under way only a cou-
pie OF minutes. which would have
forever killed boxing In Cleveland
DE gave tho men a chance TO recover
and ordered the fight TO go on.
Kelly Is 10 be commended. Hi
action was fair. as both fighters had
fouled. although Kilbane deserves
censure. as his foul was deliberate
Evening journal., 1921-09-22
Boxing Card

robe around him. What's the trouble.
Chaddy. get the chiils7
Shannon and Frye had charge OF
the mud-slingers again Sunday.
Here's the question; ''wm II be a
green cottage with white trimmings.
or a white cottage with green trim
mings7 Hands on the paint
who were the persons who made
such a crash with their bangs" Sat
urday night?
Captain" Frederick Otto Bullock
made the trip in his handsome
Yacht Moose and left # in charge OF
the Lounge Lizard Trio, Fernan,
Lacy and McKewon. They expect TO
take a three-day cruise in the canal,
and then return home for something
20 eat. Mother, l came home TO die
or dine-"which"?
Sam Crossan and Jack Sullivan
were looking for a certain house at
"Lorewood" on Sunday. Thanks TO
"A. W. and Ed. McKewon they dis
covered IL.
Sunday A. NJ. the boys trimmed an
old apple tree. Decorations we're fur
nished for same by "A. L." "A NJ"
and &C. r."
Some Of the remarks heard pen
tanning to same:
A. L. (very disheartened) - Jack
Sullivan. you bring me my clothes.
A. M.-Bring me barrel. There
is nothing in this shack but the hall
rack. and it's on the way out.
G. R.-Where are my shoes; some
one loan me a pair OF boots
Sam Crossan got seasick goine
down the river on the good shir
Moose on Saturday afternoon and
lost all his ambition and other things
too numerous to mention. AS q
sailor, Sam" you would make q
good prohibition agent.
Fats" Fernan seems to hold a
warm spot in his heart FOR Philadel.
phia. Be a sport, Fats, shop in VIII.
mington.
Don't forget the party on satur-
day night, boys.
Evening journal., 1921-09-22
SHOW DELAWARE N
CHICKENS AT TRENTON

Some OF the local chicken fancfers
who will exhibit their stock at tho
Trenton. New Jersey. Fair Poultry
Show next week. are Alfred G. VIII
ing. Black Minorcas; George w.
Hyatt, Black Laneshans: ]. r. Staf-
ford. Blue Andalusians and Rhode
Island Reds. Walter Brouton. white
iWyandottes; Dr. J. B. Kelley. An
conas; Walter Scott, Buttercups,
August L. Wahi and william SAT-
terthwait. Swiss Mondain PigeonA
and Charles Abel. several varieties
OF rabbits.
The annual meeting OF the advis-
ory board OF the American Poultry
Association for Zone No. 2. will be
held in connection with this show
on next Wednesday. The annual
banquet will be held after the meet
ing. Zone No. 2 comprises New
York. Now Jersey. PennsylvsniA.
Delaware and Maryland
The members OF the board from
this State are: william 70. Lang
shaw. chairman: Alfred c. willing,
James VI. W. Thompson. New Cas-
tie county; F. L. Barker Kent
county. and william ID. Scott. sus-
sex county. I'D
All poultr5men are Invited to at
tend wether members OF the Ameri-
can Poultry Association or not Mr..
I.anphaw. who has been connected
with the show for several years, VII
again act as assistant superintendenf
Evening journal., 1921-09-22

cLEvELAND-The next promoter
who digs into his jeans for the
wherewithal to stage feather
championship scrap. is going to do
some deep digging.
Promoters McGlnty and Dcutsch
dangled 10000 In front Of Johnny
kilbane's eyes 10 get the champ into
ring with Danny Frush and 20 see
II the old MASTER had hit the sklds
IL was a dirty hight, fun OF regret
able incidents. but Johnny demon
strated fully that he still is
the Kilbane OF old. for when Frush's
seconds revived him. the Baltimore
chailenger's body was 80 spotted
with the marks and wallops that he
looked like a red-spotted leopard.
Kilbane undoubtedly will hold out
now for a purse OF SIS, 900 or $780,
600 TO defend his title again.
Tex TO ray More.
II Tex Richard is the man behind
the guns, Johnny probably will tack
on a few thousand more. FOR kilbanc
never has forgotten the slight
Rickard handed him when he in
vited champions Of an other ciassef
to attend the Dempsey Carpenter
mill and failed to invite the feather
king.
Rickard has long been figuring on
staging a Kiibane hght and had
offered Johnny $4,000 TO appear In
New York. Kilbane turned him
down cold-and got 100000 for tn,
fight in Cleveland.
Kiibane. well on financially. CARES
little whether he fights again soon OF
not. His one ambition Is 10 keeI
the crown until spring. when he vii
have held II for 10 years.
other contenders probably will,re
fuse to meet the champ in Cieve
land. for Kilbane's last-mlnute an
nouncement that he would not hgh
unless judges Of his own choosini
Evening journal., 1921-09-22
st. Hedwig'S A. A. Dots
BY "GUESS WHOl

Stop Lookl and Listen every
Monday, Thursday and Saturday
night at the Polonia Hall.
Wen we all had the time OF our
lives out at sixth avenue sunday
night. We were disappointed when
Jimmie Mudd didn't show up. He
Is pretty busy these days. His
main business Is best man.
Big 81 and Slammed Bill seems to
be hanging around old man Mrcz.
What's the big idea2
You have often heard this one;
where does the light go when Il
goes out?" But we want to know
where does It go when It comes in?'
Lefty Pennock. you better keep a
eye on Big Kyzi. We saw him
running some Of your boilers under
meath the arches.
That good looking guy that runs.
around with Kojro better watch MS
step running around after that giri
ACROSS from the church. He better
start taking running lessons.
We'll, Minnie Old Girl, II you can't
catch Joe with a line why not try
a dipnet?
Dimples will now sing us a song
entitled, Where is my wandering
Johnnie tonight?"
Well when are you going down to
the station Jack Zebley and go
through your act2
Jimmie Kerns Is now known as
reed bird Jimmie. He ate so many
he Is now ready TO fly.
At a party out in Browntown
lately their we're a few girls who
would make very good heavyweight
prizefghters.
You had a big time when you
launched the Cecilia Red Welch.
How about when your pull her up?
Sammie Britton says he can't eat
raw oysters. They slide OF his knife
Nuddie we got you this time 80
come across with half OF It or we
will tell the Niger What was In
his dinner pork chops?
All out to the rehearsal Friday
night. We are going TO get meas
ured for the. costumes.
Paul Pennock is about the next
one to buckle up. Oh. Juju Kid
keep a steppingl
Anyone looking for Hibby Penne
stroll up around Franklin street
He Is always at home there.
You look good as a best mar
Scoop. But you would look better
in a pair OF overalls.
Gobble said he wants 10 play foot.
ball. Get a deck OF cards and play
patience. Gobble it's much easier
Anyone who wants tickets for tn,
fight tonight should see Billy Molar
at the club rooms.
We see that the crowd is with "a,
Evening journal., 1921-09-22
KrebS, MdrShdIItOn in
High For Rubber Game

Marshallton and Clay for Krebs.
Elwood twirled the entire sixteen
innings last Saturday and should be
in excellent condition for the COM
ing game. Hayward is in fine fettle
also, and may be the Marshallton
selection for mound duty. Joe Clay,
the tall twirler OF the Krebs outfit.
held Marshallton scoreless for nine
innings last Saturday and deserved
great credit for his pitching. Jack
Ruth may switch the cards and send
Dory Collins. winner OF the first
game. Of the series to the box. Col
Inns had Marshallton at his mercy
letting them down with four hits.
George Tlnsman may be called TO
the pitching peak. II either OF the
other Krebs hurlers falter.
Evening journal., 1921-09-22
PARKsIDE BAzAAR.

Parkside Athletic Club has many
new features planned for its annual
bazaar, which will be held in the
clubhouse at Kirkwood Park the
week OF October s 70 IS. Last years
affair was approved a great fnan-
cial and social affair and this year
the east side organization promises
TO outdo all previous records. Coun-
Gilman James McManus will off,
cially open the bazaar and Mayor
Harvey and other prominent city
and county officials have been in
vited TO attend. William A. Lewis.
president OF Parkside. is chairman
OF the committee in charge.
Evening journal., 1921-09-22

Krebs and Marshallton, conten-
ders for the Suburban League cham
pionship will meet again on satur-
day at Harlan Field. This will be
the third and deciding game OF
three-game post-season series, krebs
having won the first encounter 80,
and Marshallton taking a sensa-
tional 16-inning decision last week,
4-3.
Both previous games have been
featured by exceedingly fast playing
Of both teams and the hnal game
should prove decidedly interesting.
The winner OF the series win re-
ceive the Spaulding cup, awarded
by the A. G. spaulding Company.
The pitching selections for the
day will probably be Elwood for
Evening journal., 1921-09-22
A NAV HIppEN BAIL TRIcK

This was told TO US as an actual
happening over In New Castle and
we have several substantial citizens
from the Village by the River 10
vouch for it's truth:
Along about the sixth or seventh
inninq In game between two
pickup teams at Battery Park
few evenings ago, II began 20 get
real dark, as II Will do. The ball
being used would have been hard
10 discern under a spotlight. Abe
Mcdaniel, who was doing mound
duty, thought out a little scheme
for his benefit. He called Bill
Proud from behind the bat for a
little consultation and while few
words passed slipped the sphere un-
noticed into the palm Of the back
the pitching peak, knotted himself In
an honest to- goodness windup. un-
wound himself and then let ny. Per-
fectiy timed came the resoundlno
thump In the catcher's glove and
Umpire Mcorory, who wasn't even
N on the proceedings. oawled
the batsman. whose name ls neces-
sarily withheld. Bill dipped the ball
back to Abe and the gene went
rerrliy along. Ny, but Il must have
been dark.
The funniest part OF the entire
story was the telling OF how the
batter looked high and low for
the passing OF the mysterious
apple and then the queer look
that came to his face when he
heard the swish hang OF the ball
meeting the catcher's mitt. He
must have thought that he was
ND against Thurston and some
OF his dark magic.
Evening journal., 1921-09-22
MILLVILLE HIGH
PLANS ATHLETICS

GEORGETOWN. Sept. 22.-An
athletic association has been organ
lied by the boys OF the Millville
High School with the following
officers: President. Horace Derrick
son; secretary. Philip West; treas
urer, Ralph Belts; manager OF base
bah team, Thomas Hickman; coach;
A A. Thornton; coach OF basketball
team, Professor f. II. Richards.
Evening journal., 1921-09-22

St. Mary's A. A. and the Defiance
A. A. viii Introduce something new
for local sport followers on Saturday
afternoon at Pennsy Field. The east
and west side rival athletic clubs will
stage a dual track and field meet In
addition there will be a ball game. The
suai should be a sire-nun duel
Evening journal., 1921-09-22
DELAWARESQUAD
LOOKS BETTER
Coaches Encouraged by
Showing of Candidates
in Scrimmage
WORK HARD TO GET
READY FOR PENN

Special to The Evening Journal.
NEWARK. Sept 22. - Prospects
for fast football team az the Uni
versity OF Delaware are much bright
er at this time than when the squad
returned from the preliminary train
ing trip at College Park Nd, last
Saturday and Coaches Derby and
shipley are now greatly encouraged
over the outlook.
With one or two exceptions the
injured players are getting into
shape. Some new men have Joined
the squad who look promising and
several OF last years varsity who It
was thought, several days ago.
would enter other colleges, will
probably re-enter Delaware.
A hard scrimmage was held yes
terday afternoon Notwithstanding the
wet field and the players showed
more pep" and form than at any
previous time this season. Coach
Derby had charge OF the varsity and
Coach Shiuley the scrubs.
Mcdonald, who starred IN the
backheld yesterday, II 10 re-enter
Delaware. This announcement made
yesterday was a pleasant surprise
TO the student body as II was report
ed he had decided TO enter another
college. Betzmer, star all-around
athlete and end on the 1890 football
team. may also remain at Delaware
Betzmer has been here for severa'
days and win probably reach de.
cision today. II was reported tha'
Betzmer would follow Booth. th'
crack long distance runner to john
Hopkins, where Professor ]. NJ. lie
Cato, former track coach is located
There Is also a possibility OF Ere,
Harmer. another star athlete, com
ing back. although II was announces
he would go TO Hopkins. Harme
was around the campus yesterday
Coach Derby win probably put IN
varsity and scrubs through anothe
hard scrimmage this afternoon. To
morrow there will only be sigma
practice and final instructions to IN
squad preparatory TO the Penn gam
to be played at Franklin Field. Phil
adelphia, on Saturday. Two sec
tions OF seats. for the Penn gam
are now on sale at the college. an
the expectations are that lare
number OF students and aiumi
members will accompany the team.
Another piece OF good luck Is IN
fact that doc" Steeis injuries ar
not severe enough 10 keep him ou
OF the game. II was AZ first an
nounced that two OF his ribs wer
broken. but It develops they wer
only cracked and at any -ate doc
was in the scrimmage for tim
yesterday and did some good worl
The varsity and scrubs lined u
Z yesterday as follows:
VARSITY Ccruba
Evening journal., 1921-09-22
EgrATIcs on THF DEAD

Letters OF administration ha~s
been granted By Register OF Wills 0
Isaac r. Brown to Clara b. White o
on the estate OF James s. White. Of.
Wilmington hundred George Ro'
Luckman on the estate OF Emma B.
Luckman. OF Wilmington hundred.
and letters testamentary TO Justina 9
and Charles n. Bower on the estate,
OF Lewis A Bower OF Wilmington
hundred .-...
Evening journal., 1921-09-22

With the list of candidates an
nounced for the Laurence Roberts
Post football team, the ex-service
men should have strong eleven In
the field. The Lcgionnaires had the
material last year but showed lack
of practice. The boys looked as
II they had not played together very
much and could not get their plays
on with the proper team-play. More
coaching and more workouts and the
Post will have an eleven hard 10
beat by other aggregations In this
section.
Evening journal., 1921-09-22

Everything is all set for
the Pick OF New Castle Va
the Pick of Wilmington
series. The fact Is IL re-
quir,sd very little arranging.
Jim and jack McDevttt
have been prepared from
the beginning as far as New
Castle Il concerned and all
that was necessary was 70
get Wi1m ington In line
Charlie Givens, h N stltn g
handler from out In the
Eleventh Ward. who has
shown an uncanny knack
at picking strong combina-
tions win have charge OF
the local end. The first
game will be played at Har-
Ian Field on October 4.
Evening journal., 1921-09-22
National I,carne.
BOWLING WINNERS
WIN STRAIGHT GAMES

The Bancroft League, one OF the
oldest bowling leagues in the city
started its 192l-22 campaign at
Grady's last night. The four win
ming teams each took three straight
games. Score:
Evening journal., 1921-09-22

Don't be alarmed II you run up
against number OF fellows with
pencil and pad in their hands. wadine
knee deep through a maze Of figures.
Tile bowling season is on and the
boys arc already battling with aver
arce
Evening journal., 1921-09-22

THEY TELL US THAT PASTOR zAcK
WELLS HAD HIS HANDS AND ARMS
FULL THE OTHER EVENING" HE
AGAIN ESSAYED TO u NJ p ~.
RKING IN THE LORRAINE
GRACE CAME. DOC" WELLS EN-
GAGED IL THE GRAND OLD GAME
QUITE EXTENSIVELY HIMSELF AT
ONE TIME
Evening journal., 1921-09-22

Music sounded I'm Danny Frush's
ears when Johnny Kilbane's sup
posedIy old and feeble right carcssed
him on the whiskers In the seventh
out in Cleveland. The old refrain,
Back. Back 10 Baltimore" blared
forth sadly for the Maryland con-
tender who had nothing TO gain but
the title and didn't gain IL.
Evening journal., 1921-09-22

Baltimore Black SoS has
pltcseS. VINO at the same time Is
a star fielder and stlcksmlth who
Is known as "Midnlaht" Smith.
Durlnq the Hlndaie -SoS game
al Harlan Field recently one Of
the fans wanted 10 know when
"1f .6O'i took his turn.
Evening journal., 1921-09-22

rHE MEDICAL STUDENT Gradual
ING WITH THE HIGHEST HoNoRS
in HIS CLASS RARELY MAKES THE
BEST PRACTITIONER.
Evening journal., 1921-09-22

{S.E|..!l!!..I!!.!6IiI.!!!.y!i.:.:{:s. 6y
YESTERDAYS RESULTS.

YESTERDAYS RESULTS.
American League.
Athletics-St. Louis. rain.
Cleveland. s; Boston, /.
Washington. 3; Chicago. 2.
Washington, 4; Chicago, (sec-
ond game.)
Detroit-New York. rain.
Boston. Z; ST. Louis, 8.
National League.
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.. rain.
New York. Q; Chicago. Z.
Brooklyn. 2; Pittsburgh. 0, (call.
ed in seventh.)
Evening journal., 1921-09-22

Wilmington High viii
raise the curtain on local
football Saturday. New
ark High will be met in a
practice tussle. At the
same time the bigger fell
lows from the college
town. the University OF
Delaware. will stack up
against Penn in the lid
litter at Franklin Field.
Evening journal., 1921-09-22
DOingS of the
McCrea Gang
BY HAM

We'll. what do you say about last
Saturday and Sunday? Some time at
the Vert ct Blanci Altogether. I'll
say it was"
The community sing led by Sam
Crossan was a great success. The
chorus was composed Of ]. Sullivan,
Fair" Crossan, "Fierce" Smith.
Terrible Macer. Punk" Biscuit
Collins and Fernan. 1t would have
sounded better under water.
Fort Vert ct Blanc was attacked
from the high seas Saturday night
by Macer and Crossan. but the gar
rison was on the job. Biscuit Collins
had his men armed with two rounds
Of cowardly tomatoes. and soon had
the attackers shouting back water" "
Two hits were registered. Crossan
was wounded in the neck and bruised
otherwise.
Joe Java" Lacy made big splash
Sunday night. when the hot dogs got
mad and tried to bite him. Get Nc
Donough to shoot them the next
time, Joe. He won't be shooting for
anything then.
"Levinsky at the Wedding is a
good victrola record to near. but
Biscuit" Collins telling about his ex-
periencc beats them all, and Will
last longer. How about H. folk?
They needed a songbird in heaven
and Jack Sullivan refused TO die
whats the use OF being good?"
Sass" Chadwick arrived Sunday
in his mechanical toy. borrowed
thin mans bathing suit and had 70
| l.. AnLn, nilf Of the water With 3
Evening journal., 1921-09-22

Mumps and measles for the foot
bali iuminaries - tonsiiitis for the