The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1921-04-25


this Graveyard OF Gayety? 1t might be called
vagaries OF Vegetable Versifers. 1t should be
easy to sing the praises Of the carrot (pare II,
spare 1t, bear it, swear 1t, etc.; q poem on
peas would be easy rolling and ballad on
beans not dificult But what rimester brave
enough to attempt dozen rimes for the
parsnip?
Not Aspersing Herman's Veracity Nor Nothia'.
[From the Annawan Ill) News.]
The damage will reach into millions
80 you need not be bashful in estimating
your share OF the damage. Herman |
Shreitiing says that there is not pole |
standing between here and Geneseo, but
then, you all know Herman.
ACCORDING to q Muscatine Journal head
line the Germans are pleading for 'medita- |
ton"
/, They should have prayed for little Of that
early in 1914.
WHY ALL THE MARY HELEN SCHOUTEN
ABOUT IT?
Sir: Anent our controversy on ear trump
cts vs.. Ear Muffs, it occurs to me that it might
be timely to introduce the new home bureau
adviser Of Mercer county, Miss Mary Helen
Schouten. The accent is on the musical T.
-ETEOCLES.
ADVERTISEMENTS on street car cards
should be SO compiled that. like the W. X. brook,
they may go on forever. Frinstance, in an
Elm street car you may read this: Jim, the
boys ought to look their best for Her and
Easter. I'm ready"
Oh, Tip the Building Over and Look for It
What's . Little Thing Like Courthouse!
| [From the Blandinsyille Ull) Star Gazette]
! The Macomb papers recently reported
that bottle Of whisky was deposited in
the cornerstone of the court house when
it was built. and Sheriff Sapp is disturbed
| by the fact that different officials have
received more than so inquiries as to
which corner of the court house the stone
= is located in.
| THE brain-weary adult will sit before
typewriter for hours and scratch his head try
| ing to invent a would-be witty line or two.
Then someone comes along and shows him how
foolish he is by telling him something like this:
In a local church small girl had noticed with
increasing dspleasure the large number of
pledge envelopes people dropped in the contri-
button plate. why does folks put notes in the
plates all the timer" she demanded of her Sun
day school teacher. Don't they know God
wants money!
We Can Imagine Nothing Worse.
lFrom the Sherrard Bulletin
The only thing that at all marred
the evenings enjoyment was peep
ing Tom, some foolish individual Of the
maze sex, VINO insisted on coming up to
the windows, and peeking in much to
the CONSERVATION Of the more timid ones.
This ts a foolish practice regardless of
whether 1t Is boys or grown men, They
are apt to try that some place once too
often. Someone might slip out with a
shotgun loaded with birdshot, and hit
them In the southwest corner Of their
trousers, thus making it necessary for
them to take their meals standing for a
while, II indeed nothing worse happens.
AND this ought to be worth a dollar to anv
bright sayings editor. Tother morning
our daughter hung the ice card on the front
porch. Shortly thereafter the young rufian
who calls US dad rushed into the house in great
excitement Ma! oh. maj" he called "They's
card on our house! What We We GOT?!!"
Yes, So We Observed.
from the Reynolds Ull) Press1
We were saucy we'd make fun of
the Rock Island Argus headline of
. Tuesday: 'ATabasco Flood Menaces Many"
! Before the Argus colyumist accuses IN
Of lack of geographical knowledge well
state right now we known dern well
Tabasco is province in Mexico as we'll
as sauce for the dinner table. ANY,
way, It made . nice headline.
al LICENSED to wed Boyd B, Henry seaton
"a; Bernice B. Ditto, Keithsburg, Is.
Well. we'll B.
NOTING that Count Armand D'Aleria n,
Spain is in the psychopathic ward of Los An.
geles hospital awaiting hearing on a charge
OF insanity, o. NJ a. r. hastens to tell MS II If
no wonder he is charged with insanity
with name like that.
LIKE UNDERSTANDING EINSTEIN TT
CAN'T BE DONE.
Sir: Harding Contributes to WASHINGTON
Boys Swimming Pool" headlines the Chisun.
. trib Maybe natatorium can be-in decree
ID. {. substitute for the "Ole Swimmin' Hole"
beloved OF Har6ng's memories OF Ohio IN,
how, 0 how will those D. c. BOYS coniura ths
concomitant mental atmosphere, usually ma.
! ternally constructed but entirely necessary n
complete appreciation depicted by RrIer.~
stolen Fruits'-you know!
r. R HOOP.
DO We know? Yes. we do "Younp man ,
the question used to be. how did Won eet vor,
hair 30 wet! And the answer inyariahlv E 80.
Jaw. Elmer threw a cup O. water on me- AR
, hint" VI "e' oaTn
FOR two whole days We haven't WRIT
"A solitary pome;
> Old Peg in frenzy champs the bit
And breathes poetic foam, 9.
But, gosh! there 10 NO room for f.
6esideh we're going home!