The Washington herald., 1921-02-06

, down, that the educational sys-
tenn of the United States should be
in the hands of the weather Bu-
reau. can give you good reason
for It; and you can't tell me why
our college professors shouldn't be
Transferred TO the meteorological
department. They have been learn
ed to read; and they could very
easily glance at the morning papers
and then wire in to the main once
what kind of weather to expect.
But there's the other side of the
proposition. ! am going on 10 tell
you how the weather furnished me
and Idaho Green with an elegant
education.
We was up in the Bitter Root
Mountains over the Montana line
prospecting for gold A chin
whtskered man in walls-walls,
carrying a line OF hope as excess
baggage, had grub-staked US; and
there we was in the foothills, peck
ing away. with enough grub on
hand to last an army through q
peace conference.
Along one day comes q mail-rider
over the mountains from Carlos,
and stops to eat three cans Of green
cages, and leaves US a newspaper
| of modern date. This paper Srints
a system OF premOnitions of the
weather. and the card 1t dealt Bit
ter Root Mountains from the bot
tom Of the deck was Warmer and
fair. with light westerly breezes."
That evening IL began TO snow,
with the wind strong in the east.
Ne and Idaho moved camp into an
old AE
| mountain, thinking II was only a
November furry. But after falling
| three foot on a level 1t went to
work in earnest; and we knew we
was showed in. We got in plenty
Of frewood before it got too deep,
and we had grub enough for two
months. SO we let the elements rage
and cut up all they thought proper.
II you want to instigate the art
OF manslaughter, just shut two men
up in a eighteen by twenty-foot
cabin for a month. Human nature
won't stand 1t.
When the first snowhakes fell me
and Idaho Green laughed at each
others jokes and praised the stuff
We turned out Of a skillet and call
ed bread. At the end OF three
weeks Idaho makes this kind Of q
ediCt to me. Says he:
Il never exactly heard sour milk
dropping out Of a balloon on the
bottom Of a tin pan. but I have an
idea IL would be music OF the spears
compared to this sttenuated stream
Of asphyxiated thought that ema-
| mates out of your organs of con-
versation. The kind Of half -masti-
Gated noises that you emit every
day puts me in mind ofa cows cud,
only she's lady enough TO keep hers
to herself. and you amt"
"Mr. Green" says /, you having
been a friend OF mine once. l have
some hesitations in confessinE to
you that II I had my choice for
society between you and a common,
yellow, three-legEed cur pup, one
Of the inmates OF this here cabin
would be wRgging a tail just at
present"
This way we goes on for two or
three days, and then we quits
speaking to one another. We di-
vides up the cooking implements,
and Idaho cooks his grub on one
side of the fireplace, and me on the
other. The snow is up to the win
dows, and we have to keep a FIRE
all day.
You see me and Idaho never had
tany education beyond reading and
doing 'ff John had three apples and
James hve" on q slate. We never
felt any special need for a university
degree. though We had acquired 3
species of intrinsic Intelligence in
| knocking around the world that We
could use in emergencies. But.
] ~ %
ter Roots, we felt for the first time
that II we had studied Homer or
Greek and fractions and the higher
branches OF information, we'd have
had some resources in the line OF
meditation and private thought. ",
seen them Eastern college fellows
working in camps ALI through the
West. and I never noticed but what
education was less OF a drawback
to EN- than you would think. why.
once over on Snake River, when An
drew McWllliams' saddle horse got
the bolts, he sent a blackboard ten
miles for one of these strangers that
claimed to be a botsnist. But that
horse died
One morning Idaho was pokinp
around with a stick on top Of little
shelf that was too high to reach
Two books fell down to the floor
I started toward EN-, but caught
1GAho's eye. He speaks for the first
time in a week.
Don't burn your fingers" says he
TN spite OF the fact that you're only
fit to be the champion Of a sleeping
mudturtle, I'll give you a square
deal. And that's more than your
parents did when they turned you
loose in the world with the socIa-
hility of a rsttlesnake and the bed
side manner of a frozen turnIp. I'll
play you game OF seven-up. the
winner to pick up his choice Of the
books, the loser to take the other"
We played: and Idaho won. He
picked up his book; and took mine
Then each of us got on his side Of
the house and went TO reading.
never was as glad to see & ten
ounce nugget as I was that book.
And Idaho looked at his like q kid
looks at a stick of candy.
Mine was little book. about FIVE
by six inches. called "Herkimer's
Handbook of Indispensable Informa-
tion." 1 may be wrong, but think
that was the greatest book that ever
was written. I've got II today, and
l can stump you or any man fifty
times in fve minutes with the in
formation in II. Talk about Solo
mon or the New York Tribune!
Herkimer had cases on both Of 'em.
That man must have put in fifty
years and travelled a million miles
to find out all that stuff There was
the population of all cities in It, and
the way to tell a girls age, and the
number Of teeth a camel has. 1t
told you the longest tunnel in the
Nrnrld Ahn II -