davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1921-04-16
TRICKS OF THE TRADE.

1. declined twice to, be ham
pooed by the barber. and on each
occasion he rubbed my head
vigorously with a brush ard then
knocked the brush on the wash
basin or elsewhere. 1t sounded
to me very much like the sound
in a stable in the country when
they're giving old Dobbin his
currying. Do you think there
was anything PERSONAL in the
BARRIERS act, or was it merely a
hangover from his barnyard ex-
periences? BAJ1DY.
The Washington times., 1921-04-16
The Taneelo

Experimental scientists In the department of
asricplture have successfully produced the
grapefruit. IT Is said to be more tender than
either, and to have all the Juicy excellence of
the grapefruit without the tendency to fly into
the face Of the, spoon msnipulstor noted when
the grapefruit ID being eaten. T.
The Washington times., 1921-04-16
SUNSHINE VS.. MooNsHINE.

SUNSHINE vs.. MOONsHTNE.
Rastus-De sunshine done gone
outer my life since prohibition cropt
in.
sambo-Ah can't bring back de
sunshine, but ef you'll just take dis
here bottle and open yo' mouth you'll
let de moonshine in.
Phi. NJ. u. S. N.
"Yours with a grating feeling like
a nut" winds up letter from w. l..
HUFFMAN.
Yours nuttingly," sign others.
The Desr-Whst did Miss Beau
Jamber have on?
The Brute-Gray silk stockings.
LITTLE BITS.
The Washington times., 1921-04-16

SHORT "POMES."
Thin ice Fool afost
scorned advice, Rocked boat,
Paradise. Wooden coat
Ignored bells silly kid.
Fiagmen's yells. Car skid
Immortelles Glass lid.
Aero night,
Pretty sight
Good Night.
AMERICAN LEAGUE DOPE.
Yankees-Should 60 over the top.
Indians-On the war path.
Browns-Popular tnis season.
Athletics-The Mackin's of a wis
ner.
Nationals-Need spirit(s) in pitch
ers.
Tigers-New trainer should help.
White Sox-Cleaned up.
Red Sox-Faded.
COUNT OFF.
IN AUGUST At sEAsHORE.
Jim--Td like to meet that girl.
Can't you ask her. Sam?
sam--You ask her, freckies, Tn
sunburnt. AUGUST.
Aviator (tal<ing his sweetle on an
air-ride) Wont you marry me?
she--Dont ask. Harold. Your ideas
are 30 LOFTY.
He--Gee. Nell. would you THROW
Me DOWN way up here7
J. BAcKENHErlfER-
The Washington times., 1921-04-16

At Keith's this week an actor
asks anyone in the audience to
name his or her favorite AMI
NAL. that the actor may initiate
1t. Several times some one has
yelled "Cake-eaters."
DUTCH.
The Washington times., 1921-04-16

on his family or to cut ten or twenty
dollars from the price of steel rails,
or thirty per cent from the price of
coali
Everything is well creased and
everybody is glib when it comes to
cutting workmen's wages. Things
don't run so smoothly when you
talk about interfering with prof
iteering leeches that have fastened
themselves on the railroads and
made it impossible for railroads to
operate at profit, even with the
greatly increased freight and pas
senger rates.
1t is announced solemnly and
proudly, by what authority is not
clear, that the country, Comfy"
spent $685., 100000 for flying ma
chimes in the war. Whether the
figures be accurate or not, it must be
admitted that the flying machine
gentlemen did pretty we'll. To spend
FIVE hundred and eighty-two mil
lions of dollars and not get one
single fighting airplane in time for
use in war was such maximum of
incompetency, to put it politely, as
to arouse admiration.
The International Paper Com
pany's report shows that on it's COM
mon stock it earned more than SO
per cent last year. This shows that,
with the best of intentions, great
business men occasionally make mis-
takes. Last year the International
Paper gentlemen believed, and frank
ly said, that they we're selling paper
AS CHEAPLY AS POSSIBLE, con-
sidering the cost of labor and sup
plies. This year they are selling it
more cheaply, and they are going
to sell it still more cheaply before
the year is out. This may comfort
some of the little editors-not that
they count for very much. The pa
per company predicts a shortage of
paper. A shortage of SO per cent
dividends would be safer predic-
tion.
The Washington times., 1921-04-16

who remembers when the
girls used to hide their ankles
beneath their skirts whenever
they sat on the grass In the
parks? F. j. SCHWAB.
The Washington times., 1921-04-16

Old Astrologer-I am con-
WINGED that Mars Is Inhabited,
but turning instrument to
venus) there appears to be moth
ing on Venus.
Young Assistant-Oh please.
let me look. quick!
HAMPERS FERRY.
The Washington times., 1921-04-16
Chinese Proverbs.

Prepare in leisure to use
in haste.
Water which is distant is
no good for a fire which is
near.
II you wish to know the
road before you, ask OF
those who have Travelled II.
III what we see is doubt
full. how can we believe Whist
is spoken behind the back.
A man cannot become per-
feet in o hundred years: he
may become corrupt In less
than q day.
The Washington times., 1921-04-16
WORRY.

The worry COW would have lived Till now,
II she'd only saved her breath,
But she feared the hay wouldn't last .
day,
SO she choksd herself TO death
w ID.
The Washington times., 1921-04-16
1l1iEARl, 5EEr|s

TT WAS Just an old horse
STANDING by the curb,
AND AS I passed
I STOPPED and stroked
HIS NAME
AND HE looked at me
FROM FRIENDLY eyes
AND SEEMED to thank me
FOR PETTING him
AND AS I went
I WISHED that somewhere
THERE MIGHT be
GREEN FIELDS
WHERE SUCH horses might
BE TURNED out to rest.
WITH SWEET nature
JUST AS we humans
LIKE TO rest as we
GROW TIRED or old.
The Washington times., 1921-04-16

PEGGY HOPKINS says she
married the lumber king to get
rid of him. And she seems to be
succeeding, too. HARVARD.
The Washington times., 1921-04-16
ROLL DEM BONES.

Twinkle. twinkle. little dime.
Come into this paw of mine:
/ used to pass you out for booze.
Now I buy the baby shoes.
CHEERUPADISr
The Washington times., 1921-04-16
Former Foes of the Recall
No1D Heartily Approve IT

ndtlOn. Ihe destruction OF the Nom
Partisan League has become def
mite purpose of the great financial
interests of the country.
In furtherance of this program
the recall of the elected officials of
the farmers is demanded under the
wise law adopted at the initiative of
the Non-Partisan League which
makes officials Immediately respon-
sible to their constituents.
The interesting thing about the
situation is that the very forces
which opposed the law at the mo-
ment of it's passage are now appeal
ing to it for their own purposes.
And there is apparent in the news
paper press ordinarily opposed to
the principle of the recall a strong
tone of appreciation of its applica-
tion to the Non-Partisan League Of
ficials.
Probably the farmers of North
Dakota will be able to take care of
their interests in this immediate
emergency. If the officials whom
they elected have been faithful, the
effort for their recall will fail.
But the forces that have approved
this employment of the recall in the
Northwest can no longer oppose its
enactment elsewhere.
If it is good enough to invoke
against officials supposed to repre-
sent the people, it cannot be con-
demned as safeguard against Off
cials supposed to serve only the
privileged classes.
If the recall were in operation in
the Empire State today the me-
tropolis of New York would not be
PROSTATE under the rule of gov
ernor doing the bidding of public
service corporations.
With the recall in effect Governor
Miller would not have destroyed the
Republican party in New York City
by turning the city over to private
corporations. He would be turned
out of office before his plan could
become effective.
The Washington times., 1921-04-16

.LIFEs DARKEST MOMENT
when fellow saves up to
take his Sweetie to the Opening
Game and finds he has paid for
two seats separated by an iron
post. That's me. CINCO.
The Washington times., 1921-04-16
OPENING DAY FOR sTRAWs.

Presuming that some reader Of
the G. o. c. will tell me how to
bleach my Panama, i now ask
when it will be proper to wear
II? In olden days April Is was
the day for come-outers; later on
May I. don't want to be behind,
though. for the @. q. c. folks are
right up to date.
JOHN B. MCCARTHY.
II do not want - 60 to school"
whimpering boy. to his mother said
The boys all say I am a fool
And call me a big head"
His mother held him in her arms
And said Now think a minute
rhe term big head will do no harm
For there's really nothing in IT."
II. SMITH.
The Washington times., 1921-04-16

Peace is wet tobacco
Lots of things to night about.
But get pinched for night
ing. Man buys mail order
bungalow.
The Washington times., 1921-04-16

Pays thousand milled-
edges for IL. Comes 'bv
partial post.
The Belding banner-news., 1921-06-15
Spaulding Family Reunion

A reunion of the decendents of
Isaac and Damia Spaulding was held
in Riverside park, Ionia, June 18th.
1t was an ideal day and so were
present to enjoy greeting relatives
as we'll as the bountiful dinner. OF
the second generation. none are liv-
ing but the widow of the youngest
son. Mont Spaulding. who thorough
ly enjoyed the day in the beautiful
park and meeting her nephews and
nieces and their families as well as
her children, grand children and
great grand children. Those from
pway were: Arthur F.. Clarke, of
Houston. Texas. and /. G Clarke. of
Tomball, Tex, who are visiting their
sister. Mrs. Nora Palmer. The fami-
lies represented were direct decend-
ents of Day Spauldng: Mrs. Elma
Knapp, jerry Spaulding. Mrs. Pricilla
Clark and Mont Spaulding. II was
also a birthday event for l. G. Clarke
who will always remember at least
one milestone of the years of his life.
To rescendents Of Perry and Earl
Spaulding, living too far away to re-
spond to this call and absent mem
bers of the families present, we send
greetings.
The Belding banner-news., 1921-06-15
See Harold Lloyd at the Empress
Monday and Tuesday.
Concrete Curk Specifications


Specifications for constructing the
curbs on both sides of East Wash
ington street, from the east line of
Bridge street to the west line Of the
City park, as shown by the plans on
file at the Office of the City Clerk.
The curbs shall be constructed of
concrete. which shall consist Of one
part cement and five parts of grvel,
which shall be thoroughly mixed and
" III rammed in well built forms,
which are sufficiently well braced to
give 1.-THE Icurbs their proper lines
The top of the curbs shall have the
inner corner finished with rounding
trowel and rubbed to a mooth mortar
finish. The face of the curb for a
distance of ten inches down from the
top shall be finished in like manner.
The curbs shall be twenty inches
in height and six inches in thickness
in accordance with plans aforemen-
toned.
The city shall furnish all materials
for constructing said curbs except the
forms which shall be furnished by the
constructor.
The work shall be commenced i'm
mediately and completed with all
reasonable speed.
The Belding banner-news., 1921-06-15
That Queer Smell

For several days past we have been
conscious of a queer smell-some-
thing of foreign nature. We've
smelled the filling and the drawing
of a retort down at the gas plant.
We've smelled where good live
skunk had passed by, we've smeHed
sauer kraut and we've smelled 9TH
er things but none of them tailed up
with this particular odor. While we
were wondering about how big re-
ward to offer for the solution of the
mystery, Ira Brown came along and
said that he was 63 years. old today
and that in all that time he had new
er washed his feet-and thus, simply
and quickly. was solved the mystery
of the funny smell which had troubl-
ed us much in the past week. Con-
pratulations and heartfelt thanks,
Ira.
Mote. S ince we wrote the above
article, the Editor has had to seek
shelter in the tall timber on the other
side of the river, while special
peace commission is trying to get
Ira to sign a peace pact and agree to
temporary disarmament proposition.
The Belding banner-news., 1921-06-15
New Era Paid Claim Quickly

Harry Goodworth, local New Era
representative, received check for
$1,000 in payment of the death claim
of Mrs. Ira Johnson and which was
paid to Mr.. Johnson on Friday, june
10. Mrs. Johnson died on May 23rd
and the check coming as quickly as
it did is indicative that the associa-
tion does not demur great time ov-
er payment of its claims.
The Belding banner-news., 1921-06-15
For Entertainment.

The groceryman was kidding" lit
tie Marie one day and asked her whose
girl she was. 10 which she replied:
"Papa's." "Well. then. Whose little
girl Is Maybellef" "She belongs TO
mamma" "What about brother James,
then?" he said She was nonplussed
for minute. then said: "Oh. he's just
for entertainment"
The Belding banner-news., 1921-06-15
Fair Play.

Heaven helps those who help them
selves provided they do not help them
selves at others expense. Present
conditions are largely the result Of
men helping themselves al the ex.
pense of other men Whether In busi-
ness or emplovmen, niav fair
The Belding banner-news., 1921-06-15
FOR SALE-1916 Model Ford Tour
ing car. III w. Liberty st. 7-3-tf

FOR RENT-Cottage at Long lake
best location, all furnished camp,
including boat. Water in cottage
lots of room, big screen porch,
near water front. Will rent by
week or month or for the season.
Tel 246-W. Frank J. Kane. 421
Leonard St. 60-52-tf
The Belding banner-news., 1921-06-15

CIVIL SERVICE Examinations will
be held for positions of POST
MASTER, RAILWAY Mail Clerk,
Government Clerk. Salaries, $500,
$4,000. Men, women, 18 to 65. Ex-
perience unnecessary For free
particulars write r. Terry (former
Civil Service examiner) 805 Con-
tinental Bldg, Washington, ID. c. .
1882
The Belding banner-news., 1921-06-15
act.

"what do you think that pretty girl
said to the officer who introduced his
comrades to her at the Daval hall2
She said You have got me in nice
moss I"
The Belding banner-news., 1921-06-15
Beats the cackIina Kind.

English paper: "a footing hen is
laying two eggs day A footing hen
-ah, probably leghorn.-Boston
Transcript.
The Belding banner-news., 1921-06-15

WANTED-Cultivating and other
work by the job, hour or day. Ste
phen Bostwick, 235 Crawford st.
88-2-tf
The Belding banner-news., 1921-06-15

FOR SALE-House and lot. Inquire
of l.. HI. Weeks, 610 Broas street.
19-50-tf
The Belding banner-news., 1921-06-15

FOR SALE-Farm Of 90 acres. %
acres timber. + our and IL miles
northwest of Belding. For price
and particulars see Fred King,
Administrator, over the Rhoton
stores. 54-47-tf
The Belding banner-news., 1921-06-15

salesman to handle
our goods in this locality. Perme-
nant and profitable position for en-
ergetic man. One with car or rig
preferred. Grand Union Tea Co,
Lansing, Michigan. 1888
The Belding banner-news., 1921-06-15

LIST YOUR FARM with Godfrey
Bennett. We can sell your farm on
short notice.
The Belding banner-news., 1921-06-15

FOR SALE-Small oil stove, just the
thing for campers. Height II 1-2
inches, diameter 8 3-4 inches. Prae-
ticall new. First SO takes It. Call
at 545 Crooks Ave. 9-3-tf
The Belding banner-news., 1921-06-15

FOR SALE-Couch, Library table, six
dining chairs, hen house, 8 10,
new. A.. B. Christensen, 621 Root
street. 14-3-tf
The Belding banner-news., 1921-06-15

See Harold Lloyd at the Empress
Monday and Tuesday.
The Belding banner-news., 1921-06-15
Grattan Grange Program

Program for June %: Song by
Marie and Elma Hull; Roll call, fun
ny stories; Recitation, by Lula Nash;
Song, by Clifford Bookey; Recitation
by Lillian Emmons; Recitation, by
Emma Bookey; Music by the Byrne's
orchestra; Song, by Ben Carpenter;
Recitation by Raymond Smith; Song
by Victor Ellis; Refreshments of ice
cream and cake.
The Belding banner-news., 1921-06-15

The Story of
|: Our States
By JONATHAN BRACE
KNEW HAMPSHIRE
MgTp To : rp = y
50 r mn SHIRE falls
GsE III k.A~A the honor of
iFSNyE.@,. S&Ei casting the
, ys1kgsL sFIy vote which
E3 sT1s.SZ de fihitely
is~ forme d the
United States. The Constitution
, was 10 formally take effect when
nine states had ratified il and on
June IL, 17SS, New hampshire
rounded out the necessary quota
, of the states. This beat Vir-
, Ginia FOR the deciding vote by
only four days.
The beginnings of New Hamp-
shire lead back To Captain Ma
son, who had been governor of
Portsmouth in Hampshire, eng
land. Thus was the name OF
the colony derived and also that
of its first city, Portsmouth. AS
reward for Mason's faithful
ness to King Charles he was al
. lotted a large territory north of
. the Merrimac river. The first
. settlements were started i'm 1923
|, in Rye and Dover. Shortly after,
theological dispute arose in
, Boston, led by Mrs. Anne Hutch
inson, which resulted in her be-
ing banished. Some of her fol-
lowers went n,Tth and founded
Exeter, not far from the towns
of Portsmouth and Dover Short
ly after the town of Hampton
: was settled by Massachusetts
people. As Captain Mason died
soon after this. these four towns
in 1641 joined themselves To
Massachusetts. In 1879, however,
King Charles ii separated them
again and formed the royal prov
ince of New Hampshire.
The present area of New
, Hampshire is 9,341 square miles.
From the rugged aspect of its
White mountains has csne the
name Granite state, by which it
Is often popularity called. The
population of New Hampshire
warrants an electoral vote OF
: four for president.
&c by Mcclure Newspaper syndicate.)
See Harold Lloyd at the Empires
r. i n
The Belding banner-news., 1921-06-15

FOR SALE-My home at 716 Broas
street. A bargain if taken at
once. Miss Carrie Holmes. 1-44-tf
The Belding banner-news., 1921-06-15

FOR SALE-Auto Knitting machine
in good condition, knits socks, etc.
Good chance for hustler to make
money at home. Socks sell readi-
ly; instruction book teaches to op-
crate; half price for quick sale. Call
at 545 Crooks Ave. 8-3-tf
The Belding banner-news., 1921-06-15

WANTED-Men or women to take
orders among friends and neighbors
for. the genuine guaranteed hosi-
cry, full line for men, women and
children. Eliminates darning. We
pay 75c an hour spare time, or $36.
week for full time. Experience
unnecessary. Write International
Stocking Mills, Norristown. Pa.
14-21-16
The Belding banner-news., 1921-06-15

FL0WERS-Fo weddings, funerals,
parties and all other occasions.
Miss Celia Honson. Day time, over
post office. Evenings, 927 Alderman
street
The Belding banner-news., 1921-06-15

See Harold Lloyd at the Empress
and Tuesday.
The Belding banner-news., 1921-06-15

FOR SALE-Good woven wire bel
spring, oak stand, good copper bot
tom boiler, Victrola box, Mrs. K.
Godfrey, 219 w. Main ST., over
Thompson's Garage. 17-4-1
The Belding banner-news., 1921-06-15

WANTED TO EXCHANGE-A No.
United States cream separator for
one of less capacity. Joel Palmer.
82-2-tf
The Belding banner-news., 1921-06-15

WOOD FOR SALE-All oak. Deliv-
cred in two cord lots at $4.00 per
cord Peter Humenny, phone 1856
2r, of Mark H. Brown, phone 221-r
16-4-tf
The Belding banner-news., 1921-06-15
Want Column

One cent word
Nothing inserted for less than isc
The Belding banner-news., 1921-06-15

WANT farm, ranch, plantation in
exchange for apartment buildings.
Good location. Rents $4,000 to
100000. Price $4,000 to $750,000
Trade separate or together. Geo.
w. Stewart, 29 So. LaSalle, Chica-
go. 15-4-1
The Belding banner-news., 1921-06-15

FOR SALE-A mission porch swing
and an oak chair. Phone 333-R.
26-4-tf
The Madison journal. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1888-current, 1921-03-26
BRAND CONFIDENT
GERMANS Can PAY
SAYS THAT THEY WILL EVENT.
uAlLY DISCOVER THEIR
RESOURCES.

Paris.-The allied reparations com.
mission, in its note to Germany de-
manding fulfillment of article 235 of
the peace treaty, notified the Ger.
man government it must pay one bill
lion gold marks before March 23. it
was announced. The money must be
deposited in the Bank of France.
Bank Of England or the Federal Re-
serve Bank in the United States, Ger.
many was told.
1t must complete the payment of
100000 gold marks by May l.
The commission gave Germany un-
til April 1 to submit a proposal to
pay the balance of the 10000, ,0OO, 900
marks otherwise than in cash.
Germany may submit a plan for a
foreign loan by April l with the pro-
ceeds OF which shall be payable tc
the commission. The commission an.
nounced that Germany had virtually
refused to pay the balance, asserting
the 10000, 100000 marks had been full.
ly paid.
Premier BRAND, replying to inter.
pellations in the Chamber of Depu.
ties regarding the London reparations
conference, said that If the allies re.
main firm and united the Germans
will discover that they (the Germans)
have astonishing resources. Germany
had been vanquished, he declared,
but, unfortunately, psychologically
this was insufficiently apparent to the
German people.
NJ. BRAND told the Chamber he
went to the London conference bound
to maintain the reparations figures
arrived at in Paris. but ready to make
concessions regarding the methods Of
payment.
Il frankly told our allies there was
wall against which we were back.
ed" he declared.
The Madison journal. (Tallulah, Madison Parish, La.) 1888-current, 1921-03-26
UlTIMATUM Sent
PANAMA REPUBLIC
UNITED STATES MAKES DEMAND
THAT PANAMA ACQUlEScE
IMMEDIATELY.

washington. Secretary Of State
Hughes has made public the text OF
the note he dispatched recently to
Panama, practically an ultimatum de-
manding immediate acquiescence by
that republic in Chief Justice White
settlement Of the boundary dispute
with Costa Rica.
1t is the first lengthy note pro.
duced by the new secretary Of state,
and embodies a judicial analysis OF
the dispute eliminating in the conclu-
sion that Panama has not a leg to
stand on in declining to recognize the
White award. The document Is IN.
teresting also as an illumination of
frequently expressed opinions of law
yers that when Mr.. Hughes has stated
case there is nothing left to be said
on his side of the dispute.
After calling on Panama to proceed
at once to arrange with Costa Rica
for the appointment of an engineering
commission to delimit physically the
boundary decreed by Chief Justice
White, Secretary Hughes concludes
his note: *
1T is to be hoped that the govern
ment Of Panama will recognize that
motives Of true and impartial friend
ship for the governments of Panama
and Costa Rica prompt the making
Of these representations to the gov.
ernment Of Panama The government
Of the United States would view with
apprehension a continuance Of this
dispute, which has already given rise
to hostilities with attendant loss Of
life, II such a continuance were caus-
ed by the refusal on the part of the
government Of Panama to carry out
obligations which 1t has bound itself
solemnly to perform. This govern
ment, therefore, deems it its duty to
ask that the government of Panama
definitely indicate it's intention to
comply with the representations made
to 1t by the government Of the United
States"
In. taking this action the admins.
tration is actuted primarily by the
desire to discharge the obligations of
the United States arising from its
close and special relationship to the
republic Of Panama. Under the Hay
Buona-Varilla treaty the United
States undertook to guarantee and
maintain the independence Of Pana-
ma. To perform this duty Mr.. Hughes
points out, 1t is necessary for the
United States to advise itself of the
territorial limits of Panama More
over, discharge Of the American obli-
CATION Is conditioned upon Panama's
observance o. its own inter-
obligations. Mr.. Hughes
makes 1t clear that there are to be
no treaty scraps of paper" in Amer.
lean affairs.