The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1921-07-08

- uely the COuSSu-
lions, and get relief the best way he
| can"
Il can understand just how 1t has
worried you" said the hotelkeeper.
1.-THE fact that you couldn't reach
around and claw the itching place
with your fingers kept the matter
fresh In your memory and got on your
nerves. The pursuit of the unattaIn-
able always is more interesting to us
than the easier work close to hand.
You had your whole person to scratch,
and might have bought currycomb
for quarter, and had good time, but
you couldn't be happy until you had
reached the one inaccessible spot.
"A while ago imagined had
heart disease, and went and saw the
doctor. He knows have money I'm
the bank, and am considered good pay,
80 he confirmed my worst fears, and
made up his mind to have me for his
star patient, until one Of us petered
out. Hethrew an awful scare into me.
so that I went home sweating ice cold
:ircus lemonade.
HE gave me some medicines and a
OF of instructions. Among them was
)ne to the effect that when | went TO
BED I should always sleep on my right
side. He cautioned me over and over
lgain against laying on my left side,
ind left the impression that II I dis
'beyed him, I'd wake up some morn
ng TO find myself a candidate for
5oral horseshoe.
"That' matter looked easy at the
line, and I assured the doctor I'd fol-
ow his bylaws to the letter. When
I went no bed that night, i stretched
out on my right side. and in ten min
ties was Just suffering to roll over.
don't believe ever had such a
lankering for anything. 1t seemed to
me the height of human happiness
would lie in sleeping on ones left side.
{ followed instructions for two nights
md then decided that life wasn't
worth such sacrifices, and / rolled over
and slept on my left side, and nothing
sappened. I was feeling better than
usual next morning when got up
"0f course this experience lessened
my confidence in the doctors instruc-
tfons. and concluded that If I was
going to sidestep the instructions
might as we'll sidestep the medicines,
too, for they tasted like low life in a
Chinese alley, and I threw the whole
lot out Of the window. Thus the saw
homes lost his most promising patient
because he handed '0ut q rule that
wasn't strictly necessary.
speaking uf the unattainable, do
you know what's the matter with Silas
Furbelow? He has everything a man
could ask, stranger in the town
would say. He has beautiful home |
and wife who would he considered
success anywhere, and he has fest0ons
of money where it will do the most
good.
"Yet he has d secret sorrow. i
think he's the most melancholy man +
ever saw, and his trouble is that he,
can't raise good stand of whiskers.
Nowadays. when whisllerg are cOasid- I
cred an infirmity, it seems strange
that any man should grieve over such
a matter.
"He sends all over the United
States for hair growers and half the
fine his face is blistered or swollen,
and still the whiskers won't grow on
him. II some miracle happened, and
he woke up some morning to find his
countenance all covered with whiskers,
he'd probably have them shaved of
within a week; but because they won't
grow, he won't be happy till he gets
them"