The Lakeland evening telegram. (Lakeland, Fla.) 1911-1922, 1921-01-21
U3y Ring ". Lardner.-


have about given up hopes Of get
ting any answer TO all Jhe letters !
been writeing to Pres Harding and
it begins to look like he either had
he Writer'S cramps from signing cad
dies cards and the doctors is keep
ing his condition secret, either that
v. he lever got my letters as 1
didn't put down no st. number and
maybe the mail carrier in Marion
don't know which is his house. But
whatever the trouble is, the time has
past for monkey business.
Therefore I and my friends request
all right thinking Americans to write
to their congressmCns in words of
one sy1lble and ask them to bring
pressures 10 bare an Mr.. Harding
to appt me to ons of the cabinet
positions and it don't matter which
one though | would prefer secy. Of
the treasury or enc Of the , others
that | been after.
In the, past few wksf | have give
the public SOM idear of my quail
fications for the last named port
fclios and it will not be necessary to
go over them again, SO at present |
will content myself with a few words
il. regards to the treasury dept Dame
kumor hath it that the treasury is as
clean as Washington's record in the
world serious and the vaults in the
treasury Lldg. is like a poker game
in the press club-full of l. o. Us
HOW 1 QUALIFY
SO the secy. don't half to be a
watch deg Just NOV and that is why
| don't see no sense in appointing
Gen. Dawes to this portfolio, as with
all due respects to the Gen. he has
always worked in bank that had
money in it, and stick him in the
treasury and he would he a lost soul
lust like the Phillies signing up Bill
Donovan as mgr. because he can
handle ball players. The man that is
needed as head of the treasury dept.
now is not the man that is use to
takeing care of money but the man
that is use to being without it.
Brothers. | am that man.
Now | don't want nobody to think
from that remark that | don't pay
my bills some way another, because
generally always manage to scrap
up enough to tend to them when
they fall due, like, for inst. our piano
which we bought it on monthly in
stalments and | haven't missed a pay
ment in is yrs.
AS I say, / get it when l got to
'have it to pay my debts and | would
get it a whole lot easier to pay the
country's debts because they's a way
govt. can get money that if pri-
Naet citizen done it he would go south
for several winters, and that is what
| will explain in few wds
OF coarse as far as the L. S. is
conserved, boring is out of the j.?
as they So nobody to borrow from
And when you can't borrow and
people can't pay their income tax till
the brokers has wore out their voice
hollering more margin, why in a
crisis like this man like | that can
think of a scheme like FShave thought
oi is better man than you are Gen
Dawes, or any of the others that has
'~ 'h;1 high flee
My scheme can be told in 2 words
namely:
More minis
| would hop on a train and every
town we went through that adver-
tised free factory sights would
jump off and start a mint and you
wouldn't half to build them all new
neither. You can buy some at a
bargain that used to be used to make
juleps.
CHICKEN FEED AT FIRST
OF course the money you make in
mints is all chicken food and for
the present we would half to pay the
countrys debts in dimes and quarters
and etc, but only till | have time
to get another scheme working in
regards to currency. They tell me
that the reason the govt. is shy of
currency is on acct. of the high price
OF paper and printers wages and
every piece of paper money the govt.