Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1921-08-18
The
LOVE STORY
of a
MOVIE STAR

"TAkE her on up here? And have
l. him-havc that man coming up
here continually to see her? will not
agree to it At least" l added. over
come by belated sense of shame, "let
me think it over"
H gave me one of his kcenest
looks.
VERY well, Nela," he said quietly.
even gently. "You will have plenty of
time to think 1t over. Annette is going
away on trip for few months. We
can both think 1t over. We need not
decide before fall. But please remem-
ber that her father is an old and valued
friend. / ask you to consider me that
far"
With that, he was gone.
But it was as If the peace that had
come to me was false peace. 1t was
like the dcCciving green growing over
the edge of the crater of volcano.
Leaving n hurried note for Il
that | had one of my old headaches
and would not be able to work that
day, ] left the studio, and drove home.
Once there, | sent my servant ave.
for the day, giving her permission u
go to a sisters and spend the night.
| wanted to be alone. l wanted 10
be where no human eye could see me-
wanted to give myself up completely
to the rage and jealousy-yes, jealousy,
Annette; jealousy of you-thst was
consuming me. l had never known
Katie, my maid, to be so slow. |
thought she would never be ready to
go! I thought she would never stop
coming in to tell me where I would
find the tea, and in what part of the
icebox she had put the cream, and where
would find the eggs for my breakfast,
and the grapefruit, etc, etc.
had told her that she need not come
back until after breakfast the following
morning, and that | was going out to
dinner.
l knew that she was only thinking of
me and of my comfort. But hated
her for not going more quickly. At
last l heard the door close behind her.
| was alone.
l was in the big studio in my apart
mcnt. l took studio apartment, be-
cause I love to have room in which
can move about freely. One gets ac-
customed to space working in our huge
studios. After them, the ordinary New
York fat seems like a bandbox Ny
studio has just enough furniture in it
to make it look inhabited. A grand
piano at one end, n large table for
books and magazines, a few chairs and
n couch Here and there, on shelves,
on brackets. and on the windOwsills,
nrc beautiful and costly pieces of bris-
n-brac, many of which Il has
given Inc.
When at last the welcome sound Of
the closing door fell upon my ears, I
snatched of the little velvet toque
! was wearing The next second It was
spinning through the air. l had not
meant to throw it at anything; | only
wanted to have Ny burning temples
free. I wanted to let down my long
hair, But it struck a delicate. fairy
likelike vase--one Of the first pieces
that Il had ever brought me. Down
it came with crash. shattered into Il
thousand pieces. After that, / think
| went crazy! The sound Of the break
ing glass gave me an insane delight. At
the end Of few minutes I had swept
every choice piece that ! possessed onto
the floor.
Then the reaction came. A food Of
shame, Of remorse, of as bitter humilia-
ton as | have ever known, swept overs
me. ! threw myself on the floor In a
passion of self Rbaspment. I was moth
ing more than an ignorant savage All
my hard worked for education, all my
acquired refinement was mere veneer
! had reverted to type! The years had
done nothing for me- At bottom I was
the same ignorant. undiscipIned child
that had played long ago on the Stag
heaps in Pittsburgh There was where
l belonged l had better return
When / got myself up from the hard
floor, sore and bruised In mind and
body, night had fallen. tottered inta
MY bedroom, bathed my swollen faces