The Lamar register., 1921-04-06

or acquiosccnce OF inc enemy. rue
posal to the attention OF American stat
here as la r,urpoe---rhe Editor.
Dear AIR. Austen Chamberlain:
| hear TINT you are at your wits
end to raise enough money to meet
our alarming national expenditure.
May indicate new and fruitful
source of revenue, which perhaps has
escaped your notice. and which has
been suggested to me by my old friend,
Professor Sophologos? He is Chief
Collector of Wrong Opinions Ia very
arduous post) in the National Uni
versity of Aristopia, and has lately
arrived in England to study our pres
ent conditions with view of learning
what to avoid in moulding the policy
of his countrymen. He hopes by this
means to increase the social and econ
omic prosperity of his nation. ! have
been showing him round.
asked Professor Sophologos what
struck him most in his survey Of our
manners, habits, and customs. He re-
piled that while he was gravely con-
cerned for us on many accounts, he
was staggered out of all mental bal
ance by our senseless and reckless ex-
penditure of catch words and phrases.
He pointed out that Of all forms of
national extravagance this was the
most quickly and fatally ruinous. He
said that they had made stringent en-
actments against it in Anstopia. and
he greatly wondered that this vicious
and costly indulgence was permitted
in the present condition Of our English
finances.
What" he exclaimed, you tax the
light wines of your good French neigh
bors, and the wholesome beer of your
own country, and yet you allow your
masses the unrestricted use of such
phrases as "self determination, -
equality of opportunity" "making
the world safe for democracy" and a
hundred other heady fermentsl You
allow them to muddle their brains with
the deadly fumes of abstract words
and cant phrases. and you do not
charge them a single penny for in
toxicating themselves!"
urged that abstract terms and
phrases were Of great benefit to the
multitudes, as by using them they
were spared the enormous exertion Of
distinguishing between words and
facts. said that we were spending
seventy-thr millions this year on
popular education with the express
design of teaching all our population
to discuss social philosophy. and thus
obviate the necessity for manual labor.
! contended that this vast expenditure
on popular education was justified by
the results, inasmuch as we had in
England today ten working men who
could handle social problem to every
one who could handle his tools. ad-
ded that we could not expect to enjoy
all the blessings Of untrammeled de-
mocracy without submitting to few
trifling disadvantages, such as not get
ting our houses built, and not having
any fires In the winter. further
questioned Professor Sopologos as to
how they managed these things in
Aristopia.
He said that the keystone Of Aris-
topian finance was heavy tax upon
all abstract words and phrases that
could not be clearly defined by the
user. He informed me that when the
tax WIS first imposed, the one word
equality" alone realized sum suffie-
lent to defray the electric illumination
Of every street and highway in Aris-
topia; while the tax on Liberty"
supplied the Government with the
means of warming every home in the
Kingdom Justice and "Freedom"
also brought in large sums to the Ex-
ehequer. He computed that II these
two words were judiciously taxed in
England to-day. the amounts realized
would provide ample railway accom-