Richmond daily register. (Richmond, Madison County, Ky.) 1917-1978, 1921-02-05

the model visitor. If 1 had my own
household, with charming bride to
pour the imitation coffee, and vine
and figtree in a jardiniere, I'd send
special delivery letter to James, ask
ing him to come and stay for ten years
or more.
There's something reStful and
soothing about that gifted man. He
never bOthers anybody. No one has
to waste precious moments entertain
ing him. 1t isn't necessary to discuss
the weather predictions, or dig up a
lot of statistics about the crops, in
order to make James have a good time
You don't have to show him the old
plush photograph album, and describe
the ancestry of the melancholy efligies
whose pictures appear therein. Near
iy all visitors are bOres, my dear Mrs.
Tigers, because they have to be en-
tertaned. Somebody has to sit up
with them and thrash out last years
gossip. They have no, initiative or
referendum. They have no resources
of their own. In order to have pleas
ant visit, they need help.
your cousin James is a man after
my own heart. 1 remember his last
visit quite well. He came in the eve
ming, and after supper he took chair
on the porch. Knowing he was a
guest, l felt it my duty to entertain
him in the conventional way.
dragged my chair close up to his and
remarked that it was a pleasant eve
ming, but the presence of cloud bank
in the northwest almost convinced me
that there would be rain within twelve
hours, in which case. l proceeded
there would be much jubilation among
the honest old farmers, whose crops
were suffering for moisture.
James listened to my remarks and
then looked at me, in a sad. reproach-
full way, as though he thought it a
shameful thing that imbecileS should
be at large and then he took his chair
to the opposite end of the porch with
out having said a word. l must con-
TESS that I felt like counterfeit
kopeck for a few minutes. but the
more l considered the matter. the
remarkable man.
HE used to go downtown every
morning and buy paper backed
mover. or HfllOn magazine, ana tnen
he'd read it all day. and when he was
done with his literature he left it
where the hoarders could get it. J
didn't hear him say ten words during
his visit, vet you say. Mrs. Jiggers,
that he is an unsatisfactory guest.
Elderly landlades. whose intellects
have been warped by long years of
are hard to please.
Jeremiah. whom you describe as
jolly and agreeable. should be sup
pressed. He has collected all the old
cheeSey stories ever manufactured
and insists upon telling them. He has
a horrible habit of making puns, and
considers himself humorSt, be- ,
cause of it. You couldn't bride him to
sit down with book or magazine and
behave himself. He has to be enter
tanned every minute of his time. and
the only way you can entertain him
is by letting him do the entertaining. .
"He is a genial old freak who thinks
he is a privileged character, and every
bOdy's pet. The last time he was here {
he went into my sumptuOus apart
nent and used my razor to shave the {
southeast quarter section of his
His whiskers are full
IF barbed wire, and the razor was =
ruined. When I spoke to him about Z
t he thought it funny. Yet you refer I
or. blush for you, Mrs. Jiggers." {