The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1921-04-27

THE editor of the Western Illinois page in
forms US that the accompanying picture"
which failed to accompany his story yesterday
was sent to the composing room with the cap
ton, Unidentified Man Who Killed Himself;
but the composing room minions threw it away
because there was no "name-line" to 90 with
it If there is one thing the composing room
wants to know more than another it ia the
name OF an unidentified person.
CHAUNCEY DEPEw, on his s7th birthday.
"deplored the fact that no humorists had ap-
peared to take the place of such writers as
Mark Twain, Artemus Ward and Josh Billings"
Chauncey is singularly unobserving. The
now surrounded by Billings, Twain and Ward
listening, with appreciative chuckles, as he
repeats
A Jest of Yesteryear.
"Once upon a midnight dreary"-
Wait moment, do not go;
This is not another weary
Paraphrase of MIR. Poe.
True, the volume that l pondered
Was of quaint, forgotten lore
That got by (but HOW, wondered)
In the days entitled 'yore'.
Things were gathered in this volume
Over which our fathers roared-
Gems from many bygone colyum-
Writ by Billings, Twain and Ward.
Some of it, of course, was funny,
More was sad as sad can be.
How it ever got the money
Is mystery to me.
So, when dreary seems MY colyum,
When l feel it grows a bore,
take down that yellowed volume
OF forgotten comic lore,
Seeking vainly to discover
Something really rich and rare.
'Gosh!" say, IF THAT got over.
Why should ANYONE despair
PERHAPS Chauncey would be interested in
a marked copy of this journal. Circulation
manager please note)
You Mean They MAY Be Caught Any Time.
[From the De Smet Is, d. News.]
The bullhead are biting at Lake
Henry and are attracting fishers. The
perch fishing does not open up until
May / but bullheads are not covered by
the state law and can be caught any
time.
ALTHOUGH some of our own citizenry
have serious doubts that this is the land OF the
free there are no misgivings on that score
in the mind of Herr Krupp.
The Diary of a Pale Blue Ass.
April 24-At 10 .. m picked up Treasure
Island; finished it at midnight, Immediately
deciding on the caption for this diary, con-
WINGED am more than an ordinary ass for
not having read it before.
+. April 25-Drowsy, but forced to write a
colyum, none of which l remember or care to
recall 10 p. m, went in my Long View road
ster to bring The Lady Who Darns my Socks
from a party. Delicious as the society ed.
puts it, refreshments were served. The coffee
was divine Bed at 1890
April 26-Drowsier. No appetite for break
fast. Morning mail disappointing. Atrocious
poem spoiled my lunch. Even the Office goat
refused to eat it. Colyum suffered accordingly
Bed at $50.
THE Moline pitching box is equipped with
a concrete slab. White your own, as The
Tombstone would suggest.-Brer Copeland
Well, now. if we ever did use that sort of
la line it Is more likely We would suggest
'Chisel your own.
We Have Wired Mrs. Joe to Return at Once.
[From the Annawan UllD News.]
Mrs ]. H. Pelter is visiting friends
in Elgin. Ill. Better keep an eve on
Joe in the meantime.
1T has been one of our decisions that pro-
curing patent in this country called for in
finite patience and persistence throughout many
weary years. But Herr Krupp gets 20l of 'em
in less than two years.
VERY GOOD, ETTIE'.
To keep my batting average up
I'll try Gf you will bar slips)
To put on dog as poet pup
And tree rirne for parsnips.
-ETEOcLEs.
WHAT flor the first and last tira> h.s 4. ,