The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1921-12-13
Marriages of Convenience.

/ MarrlageS of convenience.
| Letter submitted by P R. Ell
| Have you place for me on a farm
! l am married by the year.
| GRADUATES from schools of journalism
says Editor and Publisher, "do not want t.
i be just ordinary reporters. They<want to b,
magazine writers. or column conductors
and give their egotism joyride every day il
the year"
! If the writer of Editor and Publishers ar
ticie ever had been a column conductor h
wouldn't have put it that way For the ego
tIsm of our peculiar tribe doesn't get a "ioyridt
every day in the year" Far from it. AS 8
matter of fact egotism gets a horrible
| bump every day in the year.
I'm the Trib Memory Tests" telephones
Larry, someone asks: What color are black
berries when they are green? and the answer
is red. 1 have three brothers." continues
Larry, "and each of them is named Tom except
Bill and his name is Pete"
OF course safer construction for the ones.
ton would have been. what color are unripe
tblackberries." but Larry took a long chance
IN attempting to cross the River of Wheel
ology on that f1irnsy raft.
SPEAKING of bIackberries reminds rs of
posed to confound the interlocutor and send
the audience into paroxysms of mirth: Did
yo' cher see a wife blackbird sittin' on a
wooden stone eatin' yaller blackberry on a
~AIN'T WE GOT FUN!-
Qn thirty-fve or forty reeIs.)
TO ETEOCLES
(Prelude)
haven't the faintest idea
Why you started this sarcastic tilt
But If you so wish, I'll take a neat swish
With my rapier,-clear up to its hilt,
main Prick
a fool there and he thought it wise
To test the prick of a cactus thorn:
He made one try, then prayed to die
such CORY streaks did his hands adorn.
So you'd favor me with your wisdom, sir?
How grand it must be to- be wiset
How grand to know it, and, too admit it,
1t must be "NarciSSuS q" Paradise!
I've always heard one is never too old
TO learn; you must be quite aged sir
But still, believe nv words NAV sieva
Through surface hard. and themselves inter:
All thorny plants need roonay sweep.
Else roaming creatures bereft of fears
Are apt to kick when they get prick
OF pain in their tapping, hairy ears,
Again, thorns thrive when but left alone:
For deadly murder not one whit yearnins
And oft decorate at the entrance gate
The columns" leading to halls of learning,
I'm generous cactus; I pity. too.
A hungry bewildered goat, when I meet II
II you MUST chew the rag, I'll donate this hag
To your yawning, cavernous mouth while vn1
Etc" it, ''
CACTUS.
Dear Mac: Well, Amt we got finn bv
cracky! EteocleS picked this fight and bs4
Snose the weapons sharp, pointed ones. SO
mere am practicing up a bit with mine and
herewith put on Reel Fore! Nothing like |
me Virginia reel, but might resemble A fisbine
reet-Wlth hefty, fat catch on the end of the !
he general public who this Narcissns 90 80 ~
tney mighty forgot something Once
ipon time, icons ago, Narcissus was a vouns |
sent VINO while strolling through the forest
anne upon clear. crystal stream and pazing
nereln saw his face mirrored therein He con
lnued 10 gaze and became SO Fascinated and
nraptured by his puIchritude that he foII IN
ne stream and was drowned-and evidently
vas ushered into paradise of eternal refe<
ION Again. all jine in the chorus: Ain.t We
lot Fun. AIN we
I'VE had more fun since been two-s.sn,i,
round in the Tombstone Department ~ !
re had since HEX was a purp.-Queens NAV
oile ana queens may go, but the CoIyum poes
10 naet ., James. Curtain and scenery for
Gao.
CACTUS assures US that she has had THE
epIy to Eteocles ready for two .davs ~ 80
ouldn't find time to type it, She ba out Just
USER she says, than a bantam 1avine 81
strich egg. 'ns al
inan Wnich. In our opinion nothing in. the
ORD could be busier-not even the one-arheS
aper-hanger 1i1neu
THE controversy between Uncle saur.,
I'D The Wonderful Little People about the
lano OF zap has been settled. That. Of ali I
ue tse us CONSIDERED by the c. f. t. L. o. A.
the one In which we were most interested
NOT because we feared our oo,n,-v {
ouidnt get what was coming to-it. :
But because We liked the name Of that ,,
'S'Ano 50 well r e. MIG. t