The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1921-01-21

always being
tempted to do some idiotic thing, and
have to SUPPRESS such impulses with
a mailed fist. It's all the outcome OF
vanity. A man hates to admit that
he's back number. He wants to
assure the plain people that, notwith-
standing his gray whiskers and string
halted legs, he's four-horse team
with dog under the wagon, when
1t comes to athletic skill.
II was In the livery barn the other
evening, when young Fretsinger be-
gan explaining that he had been TAX
ing boxing lessons from one of the
old masters. He had learned all the
tricks Of the game, and was just suf-
fering agonies because there was no
body present who would stand up and
exchange scientific swats with him.
'In my younger days, IL I do say 1t
myself, was star performer in
the ordinary observation-disclosures
form Of combat, but never was worth
shucks at boxing. Nobody knows that
better than ] do. Why, then, did
inform Fretsinger that would be glad
| to spar a few rounds with him? 1t
| surely was vanity and nothing else
| had an idea that, while he might
have plenty Of the fancy stuff on
! hand, might land one of my old-time
lawmakers; in which case l felt sure
| the town would soon be ringing with
| the story of an old mans prowess.
] $50 I took off my long jimswinger
coat, and my vest, and stood up for
battle. If anybody tells you, my
friends, that F'retsinger doesn't know
how to WELD his hands, you may re-
4 gard the story as rOorback. | never
saw fists so numerous as on that Occa-
sion. couldn't see anything else for
a while, and they landed on me in
many unexpected places, and don't
remember time when l was so EN-
barrassed.
'FretsInger explained afterward
that he merely tapped me gently be-
cause was a venerable man, old
enough to be his grandfather. In that
case I never want to become Involved
In an argument with him when he Is
in earnest. had a black eye for a
week after this recital, and my nose
has never satisfied me since. Every
time / came downtown, / had to ex-
plain to a Thousand people that black
ened my eye while splitting kindling'
or that l dropped a sad-iron on It.
There is nothing more Illuminating
than black eye, and I made up my
mind that I'd try to realize my al
| vanced age thereafter, and behave my
self like q grave and reverend man.
Il "But no sooner had my eye recov'
cred than / was in trouble again.
saw some young men wrestling, and
paused to point out that they didni
know the rudiments of the game.
assured them that in my younger days
was a holy terror, and l didn't think
that my hand had lost its cunning
1t would afford me genuine happiness
: I said, to show them how wrestling
was done in the palmy days OF Mul
doom and Whistler.
$50 removed my coat and vest ant
D went into executive session with
husky young man who had no respec
for gray hairs. am not sure abou
e what followed, but think he mus
e have thrown me over his head. Any
how, made a great dent in the cart
with my person, and was so sore TO
two weeks that had to take mysel
around in wheelbarrow. OF course
/ am determined to make no more ba
e breaks of the kind, but l haven't muc
confidence in myself. and tomorrow
you may see me climbing a tree hal
mile high, to show some boys ho'
e to rob birds nests"