The Washington herald., 1921-09-05

NEW YORK. Sept. IA page
from the diary OF a modern Samuel
Pepys; Up betimes and with r. zieg-
field by gasolene buggy to his house
boat and Miss Billie Burke there. as
lovely as ever I saw her, and came
G. Miller, Sir Henry's son. newly
come from London and We ate Of
hashed puliet on the verandah.
1t was pretty to see the gulls skim
along the waters and the aged mar
iner vowed they followed barques all
the way across. Back to the city
and with my wife. poor wretch.
through the town, meeting Braley.
the poet, who was on a new panegy-
riaue and lost in thought. Saw, toe,
w. Farnum. the cinema player. In
brave new furred hat.
Home and at my poor scrivening
and casting my accounts until Ray
mond Carroll, the pamphleteer, came
and We talked OF this and that, rag.
tag and bobtail. Then of with him
to see a new painting at the gallery.
noble canvas done by a boy Of the
East Side, and to the park zoo gar
dens to see Bessie. the ape, who seems
to miss her master. M. johnson now
in Africa, not at all and / posted
the news to him.
Sat awhile with my wife in the
evening and her she-couzzine came
and much foolery. then I away with
F. Hope to see the new African mu-
sique show; very good. Afterward to
the apothecary for q beaker Of pine
apple juice and to home and to bed.
The house detective in a New York
hotel invariably stands close to the
newsstand in the lobby. arms akimbo
and derby pushed back He has to
be alert and on the qui vive. as we
say on the boulevards. The other
day one in a large hosiery near the
Grand Central had a careless moment
and some pick-pocket got his gold
ticker, as We say in the underworld.
Doctors have been unable to ex-
plain subway fat" Train guards
flashing to and fro under the mighty
island began to take on weight
from the time they enter the
stuffffy. subterranean depths. Yet
! they eat less. One guard who has
been in the service ten years
weighed l4S pounds when he took
his job. He now weighs 237. Also
he had a throat affection which was
only relieved by a dry climate but
1t tas completely disappeared.
Just a few more disiIlusionments
and l will be convinced Santa Claus
is myth. A man who knows the
West-rode the range and herded
| with Arizona cowmen-tells me
that nearly all the top-notich movie
ropers are mere Sears Roebuc
cowboys. They ruin the back and
mouth of every horse they ride.
| And just theotherday learned that
the most skilled delineator Of ribald
intoXication on the New York stage
has never taken a drink in his life.
1t Is an eating place in West
| Thirty-fourth street where the serv-
'ee is quick and the food good. The
patrons are mostly those harried
souls who must catch the 6.1S. They
order feverishly. gulp the food and
scurry away loaded down with bum
dies OF all shapes.
A little man with pleading eyes
and a starched white vest sat at
! table next to mine where l was leis-
urely having a modest lunch. He
| pecked at his food in quick, vicious
! jabs of the fork Jerf1ed out his
watch every minute or so and or
dered apple pie la mode with ice
| cream"-those were his words.
Finished. he took a tiny comb from
his pocket. preened his mustache
and scooted away.
l made mental reservation that
| he was a life-born commuter. The
next day l saw him in a blue uni
form, caparisoned in gold. marching
in lodge parade. Every few steps
or so he would take a quick look at
| his watch. I wonder what happens
when commuter misses a train?