New Mexico state record. (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1914-19??, 1921-01-28

tempted to do some idiotic thing, aud
have to suppress such impulses with
a mailed fist. It's all the outcome of
vanity. A man hates to admit that
he's a back number. He wants to
assure the plain people that, notwith-
standing his gray whiskers and string
halted legs, he's a four-horse team
with a dog under the wagon, when
it ONE to athletic skill.
81 was In the livery barn the other
evening, when young Iretsinger be-
gan explaining that he had been tax
ing boxing lessons from n Of the
old masters. He had learned all the
tricks OF the game, and was just suf-
fefing ag0nies because there was no
body present who would stand up and
exchange scientific swats with him.
'In my younger days, If ] do say II
myself, was a star performer in
the ordinary Observation-Disclosures
form of combat, but I never was worth
shucks at boxing. Nobody knows that
better than I do. Why, then, did !
inform Fretsinger that | would be glad
TO spar a few rounds with him? 1t
surely was vanity and nothing else,
| had IN idea that, while he might
have plenty of the fancy stuff on
hand, l might land one of my Old-time
haymakers; in which case | felt sure
the town would soon be ringing with
the story of an old mans prowess.
$50 / took OF my long iinswinger
coat, and my vest, and stood up for
battle. IF anybody tells you, my
how TO WELD his hands, you may re-
gard the story as a rOorback. ] new
saw fists so numerous as or that Occa.
sion. I couldn't see anything else for
a while, and they landed on me in
many unexpected places, and ! don't
remember a time when l was so EN-.
barrassod.
"Fretslnger explained afterward
that he merely tapped me gently be-
cause / was a venerable man, old
enough to be his grandfather. In that
case ] never want to become involved
In an argument with him when he Ii
in earnest. l had a black eye for Q
week after this recital, and my nose
has never satisfied me since. Every
time I came downtown, ] had to ex-
plain to a thousand people that I black
ened my eye while splitting kindling,
or that l dropped a sad-iron on IT.
There Is nothing more humillating
than a black eye, and ] made up my
mind that I'd try TO realize my ad-
vanced age thereafter, and behave my
self like a grave and reverend man.
"But no sooner had my eye recov-
cred than ! was in trouble again. j
saw some young men wrestling, and
paused TO noint out that they didn't
know the rudiments Of the game. |
assured them that in my younger days
| was n hOlv terror. and | didn't think
that my hand had lost its cunning.
II would afford me genuine happiness,
| said. to show them how wrestling
was done in the palmy days Of Null
doom and Whistler.
$50 I removed my coat and vest and
went into executive session with a
husky young nan who had no respect
for gray hairs. ] am not sure about
what followed, but I think he must
have thrown me over his head. Any
how, | made "A great dent in the earth
with my person. and ! was so sore for
two weeks that | had to take myself
around in a w~heelbarrOw. OF course.
! am determined TO make no more bad
breaks Of the kind, but ! haven't much
confidence in myself, and tomorrow
you may see me climbing a tree half
a mile high, to show some boys how
to rob birds nests"