The herald and news. [volume] (Newberry S.C.) 1903-1937, 1921-01-14

YOU were young. Whenever DOy
puts I'D a JOB cn me, and I feel my
self getting mad, recall some o. my
own exploits when was q lad, and
that enables Iue to forget my troubles.
Il was looking through an ancient
album last evening, and saw the pic
lures OF a lot Of people who fell Git
the earth many years ago. They we're
venerable men and women in my
schooldays, and had played tricks
On every one of them; not with NAL
ice aforethought, but just because
kid must have his fun.
''There was a picture of Old Aunt
Betsy, who used to come to our house
once in while, Or a visit, and as soon
as she came she took charge OF every
thing. She knew how to DO things
better than anybody else, and she vas
always criticising my mothers meth
ods. Whenever mother started to do
anything, Aunt Betsy would take the
Job out OF her hands, saying she would
show the right way to do it.
Il had heard somewhere that il you
put a drop oT two Of acetic acid IN
q gallon OF cream, that cream Will
never make butter. I had a great
memory for such facts, end kept them
On file where they would be useful,
One morning mother. said she would
have to chu7n, and she got things
ready. I knew that as soon as she
started Aunt Betsy would want to
show her how it should be done, SO
when 7 had q chance, dropped some
of the acid into the churn, which was
one of those old upright affairs, with
a Gasher that you worked up and
down until the butter came.
Mother seated herself On a stool
and began churning. and then Aunt
Betsy came along, and said that while
She was modest and unassuming
woman, she did claim to know lit
tie more about churning than anybody
of her weight in that. part OF tne
country. Let Rle 60 it, my dear SAID
she. and I'll have butter in seven
minutes by the clock So she took
hold of the dasller and began slapping
awav with it. She worked and worked,
and the sweat began rolling down her
face. and every once in a while shea
lift the lid Of the ci2urn to see what
allied the dosgcne, cream. and then
she'd pour, il some cold water, ana
then some. hGt water, and the more
she wrestled away the less sign OF
butter was there.
.sSile w!langed away ct that ding
busted churn for Two, hours anu
couldn't get results. and she was SO
mad and disguised over it she want
ed TO pack her trunk and go back
home. Mother saw me rolling around
in the ward al doubled up with IN
holy mirfh, and she realized at ence,
Jy deductiva reasoning, that | was
responsible. and the licking I got that
evening took. the edge Off ny sense
CT hurlor for three weeks.
.:Anotner tiie, Uncle James was Tis'
ting US. lie useG 10 sit in a rustic
chair under % apple tree and doze'
after dinner. Hc ha0. bald heaa,
and his hat always slid off after ne
had snnrcd q few tinses. One cay l
sneahed up behind him with feather
and began tickling his head. hed
slap his dome of thousht and crsS
little, and then doze again. Wheh !
would GET 0usy with the feather. Isia1
went on for cutie q while. ana "as
having the tine. Of my life. never
heard any language more fighiy COZ
orca tnan Uncle James put uD.
v"My mother heard him say'hs
thiags. ard came 10 the door ana as!lsa
MIN what vas the matter. and ne
sa!d a Gins-donged lopsided fy vas
chewing bis scalp off. lie had caaSS'l
Il awav three million times, but Il al
ways came back. l got another a~A-
;nr that night and my mind was &C.
croiea Wit. serious taings Tor q
month"