The Belding banner-news. (Belding, Mich.) 1918-1973, 1921-01-12
/: Bran Mash /:

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Well, here | am again. Made up
my mind last time I'd never fix up
single thing for the paper but /
happened to be at house over in
the west end of town the other night
to call on a feller and as l stepped
up on to the porch heard the man
say-him and his wife wuz a setten
at the table eating and he wuz
purity mad at her or something else.
looked in through the door and
he wuz cutting up awful face and
seemed to be in a pretty bad humor
about something. Purity soon he
couldn't stand it no longer and while
he wuz atrying to eat one of the
biscuits which she had baked he
busted right out and says "by the
Great White Livered jeremiah Jen-
kins, but / wish j was an ostrich"
She never even acted as if she knew
that he meant an ostrich could eat
most anything but she snaps back
"Well, / just wish you were because
then I'd stand some chance of get
ting a few feathers to put on my
hat now and them" got to feeling
liRe-well, / wasn't quite so cool as
the icicle which is about the cool
est caves dropper i know of, but l
felt caves droppy and / came awsS
without listening far more, but be-
lieve me, / thini( saat lady is able 20
keep up her eSd of the argument
all the time.
Well, we've often wondered why
the bride has always been described
as very beautiful and the groom fine
and stalwart. Why don't some au-
thor write good nice story about
big fat bride and dried and shriv-
elled up runt of a groom being mar
ried and living happily every ,af-
terward.
Yes, it's true when a man gets so
bald that he attracts flies and millers
away from an electric light, it COM
mences to look as if he had got past
the "hair tonic stage" in life.
Up to our house the kids keep a
diary. We found it the other night
and here is weeks record:
Friday-ma sed / shud go 2 the
dentist & git my tuth pulled out &
l sed / diddent want 2 go for it
wood soon stop acheing witch is did
dent. e. pa sed if / wood go the
dentist & tell him 2 put sum cold
steel on it that it wood quit acheing.
l fell for pas dope e. the dentist got
me in a chare like they lektrokute
spys in e. put bib onto me a. open
ed my mouth e. then he grabbed a
holt of some pinchers & / sed wait
minnit, / don't want it pulled & he
ses 2 never mind yung man ittel
soon be over & it wont hurt you
much. He is lire & he pulled it out.
/ balled e. then / told him wot /
thot of him for praktissing such de-
ceet on a innisent kid wot knows
nothing about surgery. Mist skool
any how.
out of boards & a umbrella rib e.
sur rubber. shot a window out of
Jake's mas house e. she sed / shud
pay for it. / ast her plees not 2
repeet it 2 pa as he had enuff trub-
BILE on his mind & / would pay for it
If it took 10 yrs. do it in.
Sunday-Went to church as usual
Pa give me a dime for the basket.
OdNtu a niCkle VI IL. meDDe IL WAS
not rite but pa is always tawking
thrift to ma and me.
Monday-Had 2 stay in today at
recess. teecher asst me how much is
millyun dollars & / sed its a durn
big pile of money & she sed / was
impudent & KEEP me in. & its pas
fault for that is just wot he told me
las mite wen l ast him.
Tuesday--Saw a collector mock at
Jake's mas door e. she sed for him
2 come back agin & Jake sed ma is
a lion 2 that guy. she don't want
him to come any more.
Wednesday-Pa went to coca cola
praktiss las mite. He belongs 2 a
club wot is learning 2 drink some
thing they can get after next year.
He can drink 6 bottles without gag
ging now but 1t don't make him sing
none like wot he did use.
Thursday--Went 2 a party and
tryed 2 kiss J. r. q she slapped my
ears. Pritty hard. i don't care much
for any girl Never will neether.
don't expect
Went up to see Hub the other |
know he's got diphtheria |
"Pretty sick7 I,asks" and he says |
"Sicki Sick! Man, / was so sick that |
most every night looked over the |
casualty list for my name"
Ho. Hum Twas ever thus. Rich
man. twin-six; poor man, ak twins.