Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-08-29
Detection
CHAPTER 95

1 had walked out calmly enough.
But once outside l wondered whether
Win would follow me. If he did, one
more plea of his would have made
me yield.
1 knew I was doing not only the
right thing but the only san thing
in leaving. But my courage was go
ing, / felt weak in my knees. / dared
not wait for the elevator to come up,
but ran down two floors n Their
rang for it.
l went out again and across the
street. / wanted a taxi, and looked
about for one. / knew l could always
find one at the next corner so l start
ed mechanically down the street.
Then l looked up at the apartment
house. to the windows of the place
where / had lived. They still shone
with a golden, inviting glow!
1 let myself into my new home,
the great studio apartment that
never was planned for work! A touch
of a button turned on soft lights
about the room, lit up it's lovely old
furniture and the richness of its silk
hangings. The huge studio window
that took up almost all the front had
long curtains of a golden color silk
that hung from it.. These were pull
ed across and cleaned softly in the
light of the lamps. 1t was so rich,
so beautiful, so thoroughly useless!
I remembered the studio where
Colin worked, the little room that
pretended to be nothing, and actual
ly was all that my great living room
pretended to be and wasn't.
l sat down in a big chair under a
lamp. There was some mail on the
table hat came in the afternoon,
hastily opened, and as yet unanswer-
ed. 1 picked up the letters and
dropped them.
What was the use? The gray en-
velope with the silver sea al an
acceptance to a dinner 1 was giving
next week, the square white envelope
with the mannish writing declined.
/ did not care whether anyone came
or not, T did not want to give the
dinner. How stupid!
Why should 1 give the dinner? I
did not care for any of the people
that were coming. Aunt Harriet said
the affair would be good for me Soc
tally. Why should L do things to
draw about me people / did not care
for?.
1 got up and walked about the
room, Then, being restless.in spite
of that, 1 went into my bedroom. I'M
dressed and slipped into bed. On
the table under the reading lamp
lay some new books to be read, or
rather to be glanched through. Some
were good, l would have liked to
read a few of them carefully. But
l would not have time. l would have
to skim them all, and read up the
reviews, so 1 could talk intelligently
about them. In the volume of verse
it would be necessary to remember
a few lines and quote them.
1t would not matter which set OF
lines 1 memorized, for all the others
would be ure to memorize some
other set and as none of us would
have time to read the whole book
carefully, none of us would be able
to check up any error in the other
quotations. 1 picked up the books
and dropped them again.
What was the use? I did not
want to look at them. / could not
read, even seriously.
Ellen tapped on my door and came
in at my call. She was in her street
suit and hat. She looked frightfully
ugly, her nose was shiny and her
mouth large, only her eyes were nice
because they were so humorous ano
kindly.
lis it your head again? Shall I
bring YOU some aspirin ?" she asked,
wondering at seeing me in bed so
early.
1 shook my head.
mo, thanks, 1 was just tired. Have
you been out with Tom?"
Ellen's eyes lit up.
"Yes'm. We walked to my sisters.
Little Connie is gettin' that cute,
ma'am!"
Little Connie! In the feverish ex-
element of the winter 1 saw my lit
tie protegee about once a month. !
asked some questions about her and
Ellen went away, leaving me more
alone than ever. The only thing l
wished for then was the soft voiced
child that / had taken care of so
often.