davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-03-02
More Truth
Than Poetry
By JAMES ]. MONTAGUE


GOLF.
with apologies.)
have taken my lessons from cad
dies.
have taken my lessons from
pros.
But I still am a mutt at the drive
and the putt
And my Drassies are worse, good
ness knows.
I wasted long valuable hours,
in a past that is distant and dim,
With an elderly Scot who was always
half shot,
But Of course I learned nothing
from him.
The next tutor I had was a Briton,
Who said what I already knew.
That the habits l had we're all utter
~ bad,
And my stance was extremely as
kew.
But the more that he twisted my
muscles.
The faster my knowledge grew
dim
OF the right way to stand with club
in my hand,
And I also learned nothing from
him.
Then 1 went to a friend of my child
hood,
With a rep as an amateur crack,
Who said in 10 days. II I mended
my ways,
He could easily teach me the
knack.
But I chafed az his ribald derision
And busted him over the glim
With the head Of a cleek, 50 that
now We don't speak,
And 1 also learned nothing from
him.
No matter how many your lessons
Nor how much you pay for the
same.
II you start at Is batting balls on
the gTeen.
AZ so. yN may know the game.
But il you begin q at 40.
Though husky and quick you may
be.
At swinging the club you viii finish
a dub.
So you can learn nothing from me.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-03-02
NEEDLESS LAWNS.

Take hope, We pickers OF dandelIon and plantain
the front lawn. Look not forward to a
mer Of back-brealdng and wordy labor keeping
weeds lawn. For after 20 years Of expert
mentation something to ease that labor has been
discovered
The Rhode Island state college has announced
experiment station has discovered fertilizer
that will grow grass and destroy weeds. This dream
OF gardeners a weedless lawn, is possible without
trouble or expense. the announcement says:
Merely use ammonium sulphate in the place
OF nitrate of soda in the regular application
of fertilizer"
The why OF the discovery, as the discoveries
explain it, that gardeners almost universally have
supplied nitrogen the chief element in grass food
n the sha.e o nitrate soda. That
an alkaline soil condition especially favorable to
weed growths. Grass is crowded out.
Then, by using the not more expensive ammonium
sulphate in the quantities. proper nitrogen is
supplied and the soil kept in acid condition
der which grass develops best, but in which weeds
weakened.
The fountain OF youth and perpetual motion
would be great discoveries. but the discovery Of
method for growing the NEEDLESS lawn is worth the
20 years devoted
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-03-02
GREETING CARDS.

In the old days people would seat
themselves in a leisurely manner
and write lengthy epistles to each
other. Today they dash around the
corner to gift and art shop and
say: II want a card to send TO my
grandmother on her S7th birthday"
or Give me a card 10 send to a
friend OF mine who has just been
vaccinated." and the snappy individ-
ual behind the counter snappily
pulls out a snappy card with a
snappy design OF a grandmother or
vaccination mark, whichever the
case may be, and the party signs his
Cor herr name TO the snappy senti-
ment neatly engraved thereon-and
It's done. In other words, greeting
cards are designed TO save people
from the painful process Of think
ing. 1t conserves the cortical cells
Of the proletariat and eases the
strain on their neuronic filaments.
While there are greeting cards
published for practically every oc-
casion, purpose and person, [ have
thought OF a few for which there
is a great need. shall append them
and go away hurriedly without leav-
ing my address.
A NIEASLET.
So, you have measles. what a lott
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-03-02

out what it thinks ought to be done.-frOm which
10 formulate policy.
II IS a safe wager that these other pumping sta
tions the brick yard at Lasalle lake, viii be
quite Immediately forgotten: thought Of again.
once the central and north water plans
vamped and improved; that IS. until these old
plants about their last legs more. 1t
seems impossible for the public service TO look
ahead; 70 prepare for the future. 1t is OF the
great faults OF municipal ownership OF operation
OF public utility. They seem to have anti
cipations. foresight. thought of tomorrow;
upkeep. replacement EXPANSION. are terms unknown
10 them until confronted with emergency
which exactly what ais
OF course. 1t Is up TO the board Of works to 90
ahead and out it's plans. There isn't much else
that the public could ask OF it now but bear this
mind that it emergency measure. and at
that less than so people out OF a population OF
5000 entered into the mass indorsement; the fu
ture policy was Endorsed too. much the plans for
the present.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-03-02
Other Editors Than Ours
\ TARIFF EXTRAORDINARY.
Indianapolis News.)

in discussing the so-called emergency tariff, the
New York Herald (Rep) recently said:
"Not to mince words as Sen. Moses has not
minced Them in denOuncing his fellow members
for their humbug action. this tariff measure
is nothing but u plain fraud-and a fraud on
the farmer himself"
There are, is well known. many republicans
I'm congress who hoping and praying that Pres't
Wilson Will veto the bill This he do, II he
chooses simply by returning it 10 congress, for
the constitution provides that a bill held by the
president for 10 days shall become law without
his signature, unless the congress by their adjourn
ment prevent its return, in which it shall not
be law. II is even claimed that there is any
thing scientific about this measure. IL is not scien-
tihc even from the political Iont of view. but.
the contrary is asonishingy stupid Until the thing
had been done few would have believed that con-
Eress could have been brought 10 double the
after all that the people have been through.
this - what has been done. Such this idea
that Fordney and his associates have OF "science"
related tariff.
II this plain fraud as the New York Herald
calls IT, has any effect ALL has the effect that
the price of bread and milk and sugar-to say moth
ing OF lemons rice and peanuts. Just when the
price OF these and other essentials. beginning
fall thus giving the people some relief. congress
votes 10 stop that fall and in the face OF falling
ages keep prices up. We do wonder that
the New York paper denounces the thing as
fraud for might have gone further and de-
nounced II crime. For that Is what II is II the
intention OF those responsible for il Is realized
can believe that this bill represents what the
president-elect means by constructive legislation.
There is not much construction in a program OF
falling wages and increasing prices. Yet that seems
10 be, and indeed is, the Fordney idea. Is IL the
Harding the republican idea?
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-03-02
POLICE NOTE.

Henry Harper. otherwise known as
Hank, was easing himself along one
OF the most prominent downtown
thoroughfares yesterday a m. with
a gold sealed bottle sticking out of
his hip pocket. One OF our alert
correspondents report that an equally
alert member Of the South Bend po-
ice department spotted Hank. He
lay a weighty lunch hook on Hanks
shoulder, spotting the bottle with
the gold seal. and being a man Of a
jealous disposition.
Come with me. you're under ar
rest for having that bottle on your
person, said the limb Of the law.
'Ah, h seq Hank according
to our alert correspondent, don't
you know me, I'm an importer Of
fancy ketchup."
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-03-02
MARCH 1921
lust ALITTLE LATE.

It beats all how slow some people are 10 catch
on: coming around this late day with advice al
ready anticipated and useless The insistence Of Dr.
ReynoId Webb wilcox Of New York, president Of
the American College OF Physicians. that the nation
al abolish "perpcndicuar drinking is case in
point He cites that habit and practice ma
tional peril"
yes make everybody drink sitting down. Prest
wilcox says. And then ne goes on to explain
Drinking at bars in a standing position, that
is perpendicular drinking, could only be
abolished by doing away with the bars. Tables
and chairs should be substituted and persons
desiring 10 drink should be required to sit
down"
And. following his reasoning further:
1.-THE men would form the habit of drinking
only when they could down and do it in 4
lesurey fashion and they would not drink
hard liquors but beverages they could imbibe
for those long periods without losing control
OF their faculties"
That's all right, doctor but this is 1921, and
haven't you heard about that Volstcad act? or is
the doctor merely trying to tell how might
have gotten rid of the drink evil without the 18th
amendment had ne thought OF it sooner Too bad.
indeed! Too bad.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-03-02
JUST FOLKS
By EDGAR A. GUEST
YOUTH.

YOUTH.
Let 'em 1-omp, an let EN- race,
Let 'em tear around the place.
Better that an all the care
Than the silent dwellings where
Old folks sit lies last years out
With no little ones about.
Do not play the tyrant gruff,
Time viii stop EN- soon enough.
Let 'em have their fun. l say,
Youth should be a round OF play.
Let 'em romp an let 'em sing.
Let 'em shout an have their fling,
Dance and rock the chandeliers
This won't last for many years.
They are rich beyond a doubt.
Who can live where youths about.
Let 'em 60 1T, that's my way.
Though ] guard EN-. day by day.
I'm as grateful as car be
That the Lord is letting mo
Live my life where children are,
With the racket an the jar;
For I wouldn't want 10 stay
Where the children never play.
Copyright. 1920
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-03-02
The Tower of Babel
BY BILL ARMSTRONG

this young man had his eyes set
on large platter Of what he
thought was meat patties and dives
into IL with his fork and passes It
on TO the next one and asks him
IL he wants some meat The next
party, knowing meat from cookies
said, NO, don't believe 1 care
for cookies" This man was just
ready 10 cut them rs ne would eat
meat and found out he started in
with oatmeal cookies. Anyway
the laugh was on him. This young
BUSINESS man has undoubtedly
just been us1sred in 10 society
hence We can excuse him 4 little
bit.
Please print this in the Tower
OF Babel IS we will all be watch
ing for il.
You know VINO this fellow is but
It might hurt his feelings II / told
you. so 80 ahead and Tx IL up the
best YOU can.
l thank you,
ola D,T
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-03-02
Ignorant Essays
BY J. P. McEVOY

How many measles have you got?
At least I'm sure you must admit
They cannot hurt your looks a bit.
TO y SHUT-IN.
I'm glad to hear that you're i'm jail,
l hope they do not give you bail,
And there's but one regret know:
They should have jailed you long
ago.
TO y FRIEND IN NEED.
I long to take your friendly hand
And say in words you'll understand
1 often think Of you, dear Teller.
1 hear you've ticker in your cellar.
To THE PEOPLE WHO PLAY
Piano-PIayers Upstairs.
You murder the Poet and Peasant"
all day
And ''Rubenstein's Melody r"
And c Rusticaner your ghoulish
pianer
Abuses in every cleft.
The Rosary, too. from it's wallops
is blue
And Killarney il alters and tears
Oh words are inutile and puerile and
futile,
To paint your piano upstairs.
Copyright. 1920
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-03-02
YOU KNOW WHICH TOWN WE
MEAN LOOM, AND 1T HAIN'T
MSHAWAKA

We made a remark the other day
with reference to being thankful that
we live in the best town in the
United States, causing Loom" one
Of our most faithful correspondents
from Mishawaka, 70 write in and in
quire:-'YES. YES BILL, GO ON;
WHAT TOWN is TIP"
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-03-02
THE GIFT CORN MISSION.

Farmers of the United States deserve recognition
for their willingness to give $4,000, 900 bushels of
corn to starving Europe The gift is under the per-
direction carl 5. Vrooman formerly assist
ant secretary agriculture, the has Off
ciaIy accepted by Herbert Hoover. in charge of Eu-
ropean relief work, and goes.
Ship md railroad workmen will the
trains and ships transport the to the needy
countries without compensation. Pres't Willard of
the B. & o.. Finley of the Chicago & Northwestern,
Markham Of the Illinois Central, say their roads
stand ready to furnish the equipment.
Farmers will transport their to the local
elevator where it will be shelled and the county
farm agents will arrange to have the corn shipped
to centers where full will be made up and
shipped export points There still exists in the
human heart the spirit of humanity.
Fyst they court-martial navy aviators for not
quitting their balloon soon enough and now a mail
aviator is on the carpet for using a parachute too
soon.
A paragrapher asks what has happened to the
old-fashioned wife. You'll find her the polls q
Mrs Calvin Coolidge for office.
Charles Gilpins seat at the Drama league BAN
quet promises to become as famous John Gilpins
seat a horse.
Dancing masters have decided watch the tod
Gle" develop in this country. Develop what?
In other words they shall not Jap the Isle OF
zap!
The "squrtless" grapefruit gives promise of a
-sprinklns watermelon
----O-
with Harding. Hughes. Hays Hoover. ar plays
a-well a large role IN the coming administration.
We heard less talk this week about the cherry
tree than about the plum tree.
1t won't be kitchen cabinet or tennis cabinet
Harding likes golf too well.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-03-02
NOTES OF TILE TWINS.

Mr.. O'Brien. or the O'Brien Lathe
works, came in TO tell US that the
paint on our windows is breaking
the front glass in our office. Now
we know which OF the windows IN
the office was broken but we'll be
darned if we know which one OF the
O'Bricn boys came in to tell Us about
II
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-03-02
HERsHEL THIS is NOT NO, GOAT
ANDERSON.

The White House sheep was duly
sheared,
But now that they have disappeared
The shears viii practice on the goat
Who comes March 4th from points
remote
To help proclaim the G.. O. ?.
And stage the eIephy's iamhoreei
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-03-02
ONE TIME WE MISTOOK A HUNK
OF BUTTER FOR A BIG
CHEESE. WHICH WE HAVE
BEFN EVER SINCE


Mr.. Bill Armstrong. News-Times,
South Bend, Ind.
Dear Bill:
Here's an item. concerning a
very prominent young business
man. here in the city. which is a
good one and would appreciate it
II you could fix it up and print il
in the Tower of Babel" like this:
EATS COOKIES WITH A FORK"
This certain young man. was in
Tted out to an Informal luncheon
on Sunday afternoon. After the
guests were all seated at the table.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-03-02
Old Pal.
YES, OWEN, LAUNDRY WORK
MUST BE INDEED .STRENU-

CToronto Evening telegram
Wanted - Young woman for
hanging up, shaking out and fold
ing. Wages, S12 weekly, with
bonus 10 start. Apply Tabor
Laundry Works, 446 Bathurst
street.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-03-02
BRIEF NEWS. OF THE CITY.

Fred Bryan has announced the
candidacy of Jake Heckaman for
mayor. The candidate claims the
distinction of being the only man in
the county. who actually voted for
Cox and admits it. Mr.. Heckaman's
platform. which is of considerable
length, will be published in an early
issue. Watch for it.. OF course this
doesn't mean that you should lay off
work, or neglect your church duties.
but watch for this announcement
il will be one Of vast Importance.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-03-02

Anybody who thinks that oil and
water won't mix has never bought
any oil stocks.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-03-02

John Smoger. the west side run
ner, has just issued a challenge 70
run anyone his own weight a race
from here to New Carlisle and re-
turn. but "Slice" Niezgodsd insists
that the return will probably be via
the South Shore lines. Johns weight
today was lowering around the $50
mark.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-03-02
CANNED FRUITS AT
BARGAIN PRICES

Libby, Mcneil & Libby known the largest pack
Of highest quality canned fruits and have procured
large stocks of their products prices that enable sell
at below the regular wholesalers cost. Look this
list and compare the prices with what you have been pay
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-03-02

Fyst they court-martial navy avators for not
quitting their balloon enough and a mail
aviator is on the carpet for using parachute too
soon
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-03-02

a paragrapher asks what has happened TO the
old fashioned wife You'll find her at the polls Il
Mrs. Calvin Coolidge ever runs for office.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-03-02

with Harding, Hughes. Hays. Hoover, 'Ir' play
a-well large role IN the coming administration
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-03-02

We heard less talk this week about the cherr!
tree than about the plum tree.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-03-02

1t won't be kitchen cabinet or a tennis cabinet
likes golf too well.
The united opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1881-1970, 1921-09-30
TOOK THE WHOLE SECTION
Girl AvaiIed Herself Thoroughly Of
Courtesy Extended to Her by
Fellow Traveller.

Some Of us remember the story of
the camel that wanted to put his nose
into the masters tent to warm a bit.
Well, that camel is still alive. The
other day she got on the train,
dressed very prettily and looked as
II she were used to having half the
world whenever she wished 1t. But
she didn't get II, for all the Pullman
seats were taken.
Finally a middle-aged man, noticing
her discontinue modoned to the Pull
man conductor. II have this whole
section reserved" he explained, "and
since this young lady only goes to
Evansville she may have a seat In It."
Courtly, he rose from his seat fac
Ing the engine and indicated that she
was to have II while he would ride
backward. While he stood waiting
for her to settle herself In It she lifted
her grip, put 1t on the seat facing
her, draped her coat beside 1t, also
her hat. magazines, purse and box Of
candy. Then she stretched herself In
the choice seat, leaving not an inch
Of room for any other person to
occupy.
For a long minute the man stood
regarding the BIT of space beside the
hat and candy box. Then he turned
on his heel and went into the smoking
car TO stay until the train reached
MISUNDERSTANDING News.
The united opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1881-1970, 1921-09-30
Roses for Every Section.

The Department Of Agriculture In
a rose zone map shows how frosts linn
1t rose culture in certain sections. Tea
roses by this map can be grown
throughout the South and In California,
or wherever the frosts are over in
March. Hybrid tea roses are safe far
Their north to southern Pennsylvania,
Ohio, Illinois, Iowa, Nebraska, New
Mexico and Arizona, where the frosts
are over in April. Hybrid perpetuals
and some hardy specimens can be
grown in the northern states where
the last frost is in May, but where
frosts occur during the summer, as
in parts Of the northwest, success with
outdoor roses is difficult.
This schedule is based on the suppo-
sition that roses in the districts as
signed to them as safe will need 10
special care In the winter. With win
ter coverings of earth, straw and bur-
lap, many roses will resist frost and
cold. Some hybrid tea roses, for eE-
ample, can be grown in Minnesota and
Massachusetts.
There are thousands of varieties of
roses, and several hundred new ones
are produced each year, so that there
are roses adaptable to practically ev-
cry part of the country.
The united opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1881-1970, 1921-09-30
The Lobster's Path.

The special dispatch from New Lon
don which told of the Noank fisherman
who sold 2,7OO pound Of Holsters for
more than $500, thus enabling him to
pay all the expenses incurred last
spring when he started to build pots,
buoys, ETC., probably gives only the
first chapter In ar interesting story.
1t Is fair to assume that the dealer
who resold them to the summer hotel
was enabled to pay the expenses he
incurred when he erected his new
warehouse, wharves and office build
ings last fall; while, 1t may be pre-
sumed, the summer hotel owner in re-
failing them to his guests cleared off
the half-million-dollar mortgage he
contracted when he added the ten-story
marble wing earlier In the season.
Hartford Comm Courant.
The united opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1881-1970, 1921-09-30
ARNOLD BENNETT ON WORDS
Repetition Better Than the Use OF
Bad English. Is the Contention
Of Noted Writer.

Arnold Bennett hates half-meanings,
He quotes from a London daily and
holds up to ridicule "The King and
queen were present at a first night in
London theater last evening for the
initial time In their reign" His COM
ments are instructive, Malcolm Cowley
writes in the Literary Review:
at is quite a first-rate example
of bad English. The culprit, whose
name is well known to myself and
other members Of the London literary
police force, evidently thought that 1t
would be inelegant to use the same
word twice in two lines; so he sub
stituted initial for first In the second
line. Perhaps he had never re-
fiected that words express ideas, and
that therefore If precise idea re-
ours, the precise word for that idea
ought to recur. The idea expressed
by the word first Is precise enough,
and no other English word means what
first means. Certainly initial does
not mean first Still, the man meant
well. His misfortune was that, hay
ing picked up a good notion without
examining 1t, he imagined that repe-
tition was inelegant In itself. Rope
tition is only wrong when 1t is uninten-
tional, and when, being horrid to the
ear, 1t is reasonably and honestly
avoIdable. On the other hand, repe-
tition, used with tact and courage, may
achieve not merely elegance but posi-
tive brilliaDce."
Here is Benefits style both in
theory and practice, and the practice
agrees with the theory. The passage
is not merely clear, but 1t is brilliantly
repetitive. The trouble is that Bennett
often goes out of his way to repeat
himself
The united opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1881-1970, 1921-09-30

The cost Of living in Massachusetts,
increased o. per cent in August over
the previous month and 1.S per cent
since June, when the steady decline IN
prices that had been taking place since
July. 1920, recorded its lowest point.
Chairman Eugene C. Huffman of the
commission on the neeessaries OF life
announced The figure for August is
given as 1914, and although the net
decrease since the peak has approx
imated 20.3 per cent, the latest survey
is 61.4 per cent higher than 1913, or
pre-war mark.
The united opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1881-1970, 1921-09-30

II. Z. Parker, Bradford, has Just
been appointed distributor for this
vicinity Of the famous Fam.O, which
when mixed with gasOlene, gives ESQ
more mileage. by purifying gas and
oil so that carbon can not form.
Every evening, Wilmington daily commercial., 1921-02-11

Medium shade tan pump
with perforated trimming; /
strap effect; baby French
heel and turn sole. This is
one Of the most at CTr
tractlve pumps j.. ID lJ
Every evening, Wilmington daily commercial., 1921-02-11
ECONOMY BASEMENT

Wool-tilIed Comforts. full size, u 81,
very special at. each $500
A very good Muslin Sheet. size 81 90.
special for Saturday at, each S1O0
3o-inoh Peroales in light and dark grounds.
very special, per yard . I9c
1o-yard length of good quality English
Nalnsook for =. S1.95
WOMEN'S SILK HOSE
The much-wanted Russian calf shade MAY
now be had in all sizes at, per pair.
S2.25 and $500
Silk and Wool Hose in all the better
heather mixtures, very special. per
pair $500
First Floor Centre.