The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1921-02-04

and the way he could make them eat
out OF his hand, half an hour after
being formally introduced to them, was
a sight worth going miles to see. He
always had immense crowds at his ex.
hibitions, and 1t seemed that his future
was assured. But one day he was
loafiing around livery stable, just
because he liked the atmosphere Of
the place, and an old, weary hack
horse reached out a long, crooked limb,
handed him one with it, and broke his
leg. ,a|
"He had to 60 to hospital for a
while, and when he came out, his oc-
cupation was gone. He was as good
horse breaker as ever, but people
wouldn't pay their hard-earned money
to see the exploits of conquering
hero who had been manhandled by an
old hack horse. You must admit that
there was some sardonic intelligence
back of such joke as that. II the
man had been hooked by a COW, or run
over by a traction engine, or chewed
up by an honest watchdog, 1t wouldn't
have hurt his renown and prestige.
But, no A blamed old relic Of horse
had to put him out of business.
"A long time ago, a very important
case was tried in an Irish court. The
people we're greatly wrought up over
1t, and the courtroom was crowded.
When 1t was announced that the jury
was ready with a verdict, the Judge
addressed the audience, saying he
knew there was much feeling over the
case, but the hall Of justice was no
place for display of II, and If there
was least sign of disturbance when
the verdict was made known, the gull
| ty parties would be arrested.
'aThe jury brought in its verdict, and
the people heard 1t in silence, but just
then a whole doggone gallery, with
about thousand people in it, came
crashing down, and the noise could
have been heard forty miles out at sea.
After the judges solemn warning
against a disturbance, the fall of that
gallery has always seemed to me like
painful joke.
"A long time ago, was called upon
to address crowd of voters on the
living issues Of the Gay, and framed
up n speech that would have been a
credit to any orator. / swiped 1t from
Roscoe Conkling, and ] have always
insisted that he was one of the great
est of American speakers. The house
was full of refined and cultured peo-
pie, and was determined to make the
hit of my life. was just getting
warmed up to my work, when the
lights went out, and the hall was
plunged in black darkness. There's
nothing makes man feel more idiotic
than to have the lights shut off at
such a time. The women in the audi
enee were giggllng, and the men haw-
having. 1t seemed funny to everybody
but me.
II thought I knew where the little
table was, that held the pitcher Of ice
water, and / moved toward It, and
fell over chair, and fiattened my
nose against the edge Of piece Of
scenery. When the lights were
flashed on again, as suddenly as they
went out, the audience behed the
silver t0ngued orator on his hands and
knees, climbing slowly to his feet, and
trying to mold his nose into its origi-
nal shape.
II never saw such delirious crowd
in my life. Some Of the women
laughed themselves into Mysteries, and
the fool men weren't much better.
They never heard the balance Of that
grafton, and the last part was the
best"