davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-08-28
nave appendicitis at all,
Easy to Fill.

OLINK (the wholesaler)-Well,
~ how many orders did you get
yesterday
Gink (the salesman)-I got two
orders in one chop.
Rlink-What were they?
Gink-One was to get out and the
other was to stay out.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-08-28
A Bad Actor.

eco you want to Join our COM
- pany?" said the theatrical
manager to the seedy-looking ap-
plicant. I'm what pieces have you
ever appearedT
WELL" replied he, my last en-
gagement was with The Blot on
the Scutcheon.
What character did you act7"
IL was the Blot"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-08-28
Overruled.

E0H, but Judge" protested links,
" when His Honor imposed a
ten-dollar fine for overspeedins.
look at your roads! No car ever
made could have gone over eight
miles an hour through that mire."
"Thet's Jest IT," said His Honor.
severely. "'Twarn't nothing but
tibet there mud Of ourn as held ye
back"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-08-28
Complete Satisfaction.

CQUIRE-Ah, Mould. how about
- that horse I sold you?
Undertaksr-Well. sir. 1t did give
us little trouble at first We put
him In one Of the mourning
coaches. you know. and parties
don't like to be shook UP in their
grief. But we've put him in the
hearse now. and we haven't had
any complaints so far.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-08-28
Fresh Cub.

OEPORTER-I've a good piece Of
~ news here this morning.
found a person who had been con-
fined to one room his entire life.
Editor-Good! Send 1t UP. Who
is 1t?
Reporter-Why, a three-day-old
baby down at our house.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-08-28
Miserable, Anyway.

CT AM telling you the truth when
i say that ! was much happier
when was poor than am now"
Then why don't you let your mil
lions 60 and be poor again7"
"why, because l should be mis-
cradle thinking Of the people who
got the money"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-08-28
Farewell.

EAIR WORSHIPPER - What is
that sad, sad air you're playing,
professor
The Professor-Dat is Beethc-
ven's Farewell TO the Piano" !
see dose instalment people coming
NIT der van.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-08-28
A Good Business.

VERY YOUNG MAN--You would
' not think 1t, but I've Just paid
five thousand pounds in cash for .
house, all made by my own pluck
and perseverance.
Young Lady-Really! What
business are you In?
Very Young Man--Tm a son.ln-
law.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-08-28
Henpecked.

tGWERE henpecked, pa, amt
w WEI"
why, what do you mean, my
boy?"
well, ma makes me wash my
hands before I come to the supper
table, and she makes you wash
yours before you hook up her
back
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-08-28
Very Likely.

AN illiterate farmer, wishing TO
"A enter some animals in the
"cownty fayre," wrote the secre-
tary as follows:
ALSO enter me for the best Jack
ass. | am bound to take the prize"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-08-28
But He Takes an Interest.

HOMMERCIAL~If a man has an
~ income Of two millions a year
what is his principal?
Cynic-A man with such an in
come usually has no principle.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-08-28

THE TRAVELLBR-Can I get a
i steak and catch the one o'clock
train?
The Waterfall depends on your
teeth, sir.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-08-28
True to Habit.

SSyNHAT did that young lawyer
w chap say. Matilda, when you
told him It was time to go?"
"He Immediately began argument
for a stay"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-08-28
Awful Mistake Is Right.

ISTHAT was an awful mistake
i the surgeon made. The man
he operated on didn't have what he
thought he did"
Didn't have appendicitis at all,
eh?"
"Oh, he had appendicitis all right,
but he didn't have any money"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-08-28
Rural Editors
Scrap Book
~ HE Ladies' SEWN Circle viii
have their firsh Fall meetin'

HE Ladies' SEWN Circle viii
have their first Fall meetin
- at Mrs. Squiers's the first
Tuesday in September. A full at
tendance is desired, as business CT
importance is to be transacted.
We wonder what dame has strayed
from the straight an narrer path
durin' the Summer. She'll have
some job tryin' to square the SEWN
circle.
Accordin' to the latest dope Fall
styles in fathers wallets will be
long an nat. with very little long
green linin'.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-08-28

Doc Higgins asks who this here
Pop Bottles is you read so much
about attendin' the ball games.
Well. Doc, as we understand 1t, he's
. guy that's thrown in a lot with
umpires.
Nine. Fiefie. the local dealer In
ladies' lingerie. who has just re-
turned from Paris. says the en-
velope chemise will hear the stamp
of public approval this Fall. From
what we can gather from . per-
cursory examination it will be
mostly all stamp an not much en-
velope.
Popular subscription is bein'
taken up to buy batch Of fly
paper for sieve" Smithers. the
centre fielder on the local nine.
Berthathe-Sewin' Machine-Girl was
never more crewelly misjudged
than some Of the hard hit flies he
goes after.
Recent events have shown the
proof Of the old adage. There's
many Q slip 'twixt the cop and the
hip"
Our local dealer in a certain
brand Of flivvers that has made
walkin' an enjoyable pastime is
bit mified because his ad announc-
in cut in the price Of the wares
he deals In, through the cussed,
ness or near-sightedness Of our
makeup man. was set next to an
abuttin' an ad Of the druggist an.
nouncin' q reduction in the price
of arnica. No offence meant, Dan.
Well throw you in next to an ad
Tor q cocktail mixer next time.
DR.. Meadows's wife is learning
to drive her car. Many persons
were struck at seem her home
made chaufferin' the first time.
They couldn't get out of the way
quick enough.
The 5:15 was on time the other
eveuir' for the first time since in
Lord knows when. Rumor has 1t
that there was a tub of butter in
the express car consigned to Mrs.
wiggins's boardin' house. Some
strong butter. say. we. that can
bring the .5:15 in on time.
Gerty Penny says she owes her
~school-girl' complexion to the fact
that she takes thirty.minute walk
every mornin'. "Why don't you
move nearer to the drug store.
GertyT' We ask. even with the full
knowledge of the fact that she has
got two grown-up brothers.
!
speakin' Of lively balls, such as
are sgitatin' the minds of the base
ball magnates. that ball Of our
Exempt Firemen's Association last
Friday night and Saturday q. m.
was one alongside Of which the
spheroid used In the big leagues is
like q brother to the OK. Il only
broke up at g. m. because the
phonograph sprung q flat wheel.
Our hremen are going to have
another smoker next week, the one
, last week bein' such a success.
Some OF the wives OF the village say
that where there is so much smoker
there must be some fire. Righto,
say we.
Business is pickin' up. There
were three customers in Sim
Smiths general store all at the
same time Saturday night. II this
keeps up Bring on your tired bust
ness mans show" says Sim.
Contributory negligence, as set
forth by the Joe Miller OF our vii.
Iage, is fsilin' to enclose stamps
for the return OF rejected jokes.
Speakin' of the movement on foot
among the doctors to raise their
fees for night calls, Jim Sharpe
says II cost him $50 to call DR..
Meadows one night. The doc had
|. three aces and all Jim could boast
of was three kings.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-08-28

Nine. Fiefie. the local dealer In
ladies' lingerie. who has Just re-
turned from Paris. says the en-
velope chemise will hear the stamp
OF public approval this Fall. From
what we can gather from . per-
cursory examination 1t will be
mostly all stamp an not much en-
velope.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-08-28
An Endearing Act.

WIFE (pleadinsiyl--I'm afraid.
w Jack. you do not love me any
mcre-anyway, as well as you used
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-08-28

There's cave up on ole Deacon
Snodgrass's farm where no matter
how hot the weather gifts the snow
never melts In the Summer time.
AT least that's what the deacon
says. The answer Is, We suppose,
because no snow ever gifts In the
cave In the Winter time.
Doc Higgins asks who this here
Pop Bottles is you read so much
about attendin' the ball games.
Well. Doc, as we understand 1t, he's
q guy that's thrown in a lot with
umpires.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-08-28

Speakin' Of the movement on foot
among the doctors to raise their
fees for night calls, Jim Sharpe
SAYS II cost him $50 to call DR..
Meadows one night. The doc had
three aces and all Jim could boast
of was three kings.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-08-28

Popular subscription is bein'
taken up to buy a batch of fly
paper for sieve" Smithers. the
centre fielder on the local nine.
Berthathe-Sewin' -Machine-Girl was
never more crewelly misjudged
than some Of the hard hit flies he
goes after.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-08-28
Husband---Why7

Wife-Decause you always let me
get up to light the fire now.
Observation-Disclosures. my love!
Your getting up to light the ire
makes me love you all the more.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-08-28

Gerty Penny says she owes her
~schoolgirl" complexion to the fact
that she takes thirty.minute walk
every mornin'. why don't you
move nearer to the drug store.
Gerty?" We ask. even with the full
knowledge Of the fact that she has
got two grown-up brothers.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-08-28

Contrfbutory negligence, as set
forth by the Joe Miller Of our vii
Iage, is fsilin' to enclose stamps
for the return OF rejected jokes.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-08-28

The 5:15 was on time the other
eveuir' for the first time since in
Lord knows when. Rumor has It
that there was q tub of butter in
the express car consigned to Mrs.
wiggins's boardin' house. Some
strong butter, say. we. that can
bring the .5:15 in on time.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-08-28

6peakin' Of lively balls, such as
are sgitatin' the minds Of the base
ball msgnates. that ball Of our
Exempt Firemen's Association last
Friday night and Saturday q. m.
was ono alongside Of which the
spheroid used In the big leagues Is
like . brother to the OK. It only
broke up at a m. because the
uhonograph sprung q nat wheel.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-08-28

Recent events have shown the
proof Of the old adage. There's
many . slip 'twixt the cop and the
hip"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-08-28

Copyright 1871. By Star Co.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-08-28

Our dremen are going to have
another smoker next week, the one
last week bein' such a success.
Some OF the wives OF the village say
that where there is so much smoker
there must be some fire. Righto,
say we.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-08-28

Business is pickin' UP. There
were three customers in Sim
Smiths general store all at the
same time Saturday night. n this
keeps up Bring on your tired bust
ness mans show" says Sim.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-08-28
Speaking Of Omens

4 N OMEN is like a calendar
~ useful for what it indicates.
4 = Among the most familiar
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-08-28

DR.. Meadows's wife is learning
to drive her car. Many person.
were struck at seem her home
made chaufferin' the first time
They couldn't get out of the wa!
quick enough.
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1921-06-17
O00LEY'S HAT GOES
FIRST INTO RING
WELL KNOWN COLUMBIA RESI-
DENT WOULD SERVE THE PEO-
PIE AS SHERIFF.
From Fridays Daily Herald

From Fridays Daily Herald.)
To E. sgd Dooley, of this city, goes
the distinction of being the first to
announce his candidacy for an office
to be filed by the people of Maury
county next year. Mr. Dooley today
authorized the announcement that he
would be candidate for sheriff, sub
ject to the action of the county demo.
cratic primary called for next Novem-
Der. Mr.. Dooley is one of the best
known and most highly esteemed citi-
zens of Columbia, He held a very re-
sponsible position with Anderson
Bros. & Foster for several years and
is now engaged with T. S. Richardson's
Lumber Yards. He has served as an
officer and as member of the county
democratic committee and made a
creditable record. His friends are nui
merous all over the county and de-
clare that he is going to make a strong
race. He is thoroughly well qualified
for the office that he seeks.
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1921-06-17
GIVEN
| BAD CHARACTER
BY BANK HEAD
GREENSBORO BANKER DECLARES
MAN KILLED BY OFFICERS "GOT
WHAT HE DESERvED.'
HEAVY REPAIR BILL ON AUTO
Was Necessary to Expend More Than
500 Before Car Could Be Put in
Condition to Make Trip to Alabama
Town.
{ From Mondays Daily Herald. J

kfrOH monday Ddlly 1eldlu')
Continuing, on his own accord, the
investigation into the shooting of Jas,
+. Porter by Maury county officers
several days ago, Sheriff G. X. Hous-
er has received letter from an Off
cial of the First National Bank at
Greensboro, Ala, where Porter for a
time was a student in the government
vocational school. This letter gives
Porter bad reputation, declaring that
che was bad character and got what
he deserved" or words to that efest,
according to Sheriff Houser.
DR.. James Edwards, who also has
been quite active in clearing up the
matter has received letter from the
postmaster at Greensboro, Ala, con-
tanning substantially the same facts
as have heretofore been published
in The Herald, but the Greensboro
postmaster declares his belief that
Porter was of unsound mind, and he
attributes this to his service IN
France. he having been wounded in
the fighting around Chateau Thierry.
The Greensboro Bank has sent to
Columbia for the automobile which
was abandoned by Porter when he
stook to the river. 1t was necessary
to spend more than one hundred dol
lars for repairs before the car could
he put in shape to make the trip, ac-
cording to the sheriff. and he reiter-
ated that Porter had used the car just
as long as it would run and absconded
with it, not having the money to pay
for the necessary repairs.
Other agencies making investiga-
tions of the shooting reported no new
developments this morning 1t is not
known when the civil suit will be in
stituted against those officers con
sidered legally liable.
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1921-06-17
MOORE PROPERTY
At PUBLIC SALE
ENGINEERED WITH LIFE ESTATE
FOUR HUNDRED ACRES BRINGS
AROUND $1o,5o0.
(From Tuesdays Daily Herald.)

(From Tuesdays Daily Herald)
Sold subject to the life estate of the
widow, Mrs. Eva Moore Nelson, the
Moore property consisting of about 4OS
acres in the fifth district and near
Culleoka sold Monday at noon in the
chancery court for S10,505. The prop,
erty was largely purchased by Nathan
G. Robertson, the we'll known lawyer
and capitalist of Lebanon, for himself
and his associates. The home place
at Culleoka, containing the improve
ments and 105 acres of land, and the
choicest part of the property, was sold
for $500. A tract of thirty-fve acres
was purchased by Squire William E.
Ballanfant at $1O5.
Considering the fact that the land
was encountered with life estate the
sale was considered a good one espec.
tally for these times. There were a
number of bidders present and much
interest was shown in the sale.
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1921-06-17
SUIT FOR DAMAGE
WILL Be BROUGHT
| AGAINST OFFICERS
ACTION BE AGAINST THOSE WE
FEEL ARE LIABLE" DECLARES
INVESTIGATOR.
NO CRIMINAL ASTON EXPECTED
W. 8. Fleming, Jrp Continues Invest.
CATION OF CIRCUMSTANCES Surround
ing Shooting of James E.. Porter by
Maury County officers.
(From Saturdays Daily Herald

(From Saturdays Daily Herald
Suit for damages will be brought
against chose we consider liable" for
the death of James L. Porter, who was
killed last Saturday in battle with
Maury county officers, Jesse b. Alder.
son and Paul Johnson, Said W. s.
Fleming Jr., who in connection with
Major Horace Frierson was employed
to make thorough investigation of
the circumstances surrounding the
shooting.
Mr.. Fleming said this suit for dam.
ages will be brought regardless of
whether or not criminal action is TAX
EN- against the officers who shot Por-
ter in making the arrest. II was indi-
Gated that this suit would be brought
at once, and the amount of damages, il
awarded by jury will be turned over
to Porter's widow and three small
children. a.,
The suit will probably be brought
upon the grounds that the Maury coun-
ty officers were out Of their jurisdic-
tion in making the arrest, and that the
warrant on which they sought to arrest
Porter was not legal one. Mr.. Elem
ing has made the statement, which he
declares he can prove by competent
testimony, that the warrant was not
legal one. This being true, he de-
clares if the officers shot and Killed
man while seeking to place him under
arrest, makes them guilty of man
slaughter.
There is still considerable discus
sion of the shooting here, which will
probably not end until after the sew
eral investigations ordered by differ
ent organizations and agencies have
been completed and reports made5
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1921-06-17
HIGH PERCENTAGE
COLLEGE STUDENTS
NEARLY ALL OF C. N. A. GRADu.
ATES GO TO HIGHER INsTiT,U-
TONS OF LEARNING.
(From Tuesdays Daily Herald J

(From Tuesdays Daily Herald.)
The handsomely Illustrated cata-
logue of the Columbia Military Acad-
envy for the session of 1921 reveals
some very interesting and highly com.
plimentary features respecting the I'M
usually high percentage of graduates
of that school who enter college. OF
the 10 graduates of 1917, no less than
eighteen entered college; in 1918
twenty-one out of twenty-five enter
ed college; in 1919 thirty-one out of
thirty-three went to higher institu.
tons of learning, and in 1920 no less
than forty-eight out of fifty or ninety
six per cent entered college. 1t is
doubtful if any preparatory school in
the coutry can show better record.
This school has the honor also of
furnishing the Rhodes scholar from
Tennessee in the person of Lieut.. vii.
liam Frierson, late of the A. E. F.,
whose likeness is published. A splen.
did Photograph of Cadet Meade Frier-
son brother of William, and a gradu-
ate OF c. M. A, in 1911, is also print
ed. He made the supreme sacrifice
in France.
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1921-06-17
POULTRY SHOW q
Will Be HELD
WERE DECEMBER
SPLENDID. MEETING OF MAURY
COUNTY POULTRY ASSOCIA-
TON HELD MONDAY.
DISCUSS STATE FAIR PLANS
Members Of Association Taking Great
Interest in Preparation of Exhibit
From This County-Other Interest
ing Topics.
(From Tuesdays Daily Herald

(From Tuesdays Daily Herald.)
AT most interesting meeting of
the Maury County Poultry Association
held Monday afternoon at the county
council of agriculture headquarters, it
was decided to hold the annual Maury
county poultry show during December,
and after the Nashville state poultry
show. 1t is believed that the Deem
her show will bring to Columbia from
every part Of the county, the greatest
array of poultry ever assembled in
the county and the premium list is
a'splendid one.
q Mondays meeting was presided over
by Albert Holt, one Of the live mem
bers of the Enterprise community
club, and one of the countys best
farmers. Mr.. Holt discussed the re-
suit of the investigation of the Law
renee county egg circle and it is not
unlikely that after little more inves-
tigation the Lawrence county plan of
marketing eggs will be introduced in
this county.
County Agent Absrnathy discussed
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1921-06-17
COUNTY SUFFERING
\ FROM LACK Of Rain
GENERAL DOWNPoUR NEEDED IN
NEARLY EVERY SECTION OF
THE DlMPLE.

(From Mondays Daily Herald)
Although there have been scattering
showers over the county during the
past week and some real seasons have
fallen in some sections the county is
still suffering for lack of rain. "A real,
genuine soaking general rain is, very
much needed The ground is dry, and
hard and it will require days OF rain
to restore pastures. 1t has been al
most as difficult to get good. stands of
late corn as it was with that planted
earlier, rather unusual condition.
Very few farmers can boast of good
stands of corn either of the early or
late planting. While the clover hay
crop was cut short by the drouth all of
it has been saved and the greater part
of the small grain has been harvested,
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1921-06-17
Wreck Victims
Laid To Rest
In Rose Hill

. q.
(From Tuesdays Daily Heraid)
Funerals of Earl Hale and Perry
Bennett, two of the three victims OF
the automobile wreck, here Sunday
We're conducted Monday afternoon.
Mr.. Hale's funeral was conducted at
the South Columbia Christian church
at 2:30 o'clock, interment was in Rose
Hill cemetery.
The funeral for Mr.. Bennett Swas
conducted at the South Columbia
Methodist church by the pastor, and
was largely attended by Borrowing
friends of the deceased, who followed
the body To its last resting place IN
beautiful Rose Hill cemetery The
many and beautiful floral offerings
were mute testimony of the esteem in
which the deceased was held
The funeral of James Simpson. an
other victim OF the same wreck will
be conducted at $3.50 O'Clock this after
noon at the residence By DIR. George u
Watts. Interment viii be in Rose Hill
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1921-06-17
HILARY FOX IS
CALLED BY DEATH
YOUNG MAN AT cULEEOkA Sue
cUMBs AFTER ILLNESS OF
SEVERAL YEARS.

From Mondays Daily Herald)
Hilary Fox. who has Been confined
to his bed for many months, died Sun
day morning at his home at Culleoka.
He was a son of Mr.. and Mrs. A. ].
Fox and death had been expected for
some time. In addition to his parents
he is survived by the following broth
ers, l.. NJ. Fox, Bryan Fox, Claude Fox
and the following named sisters, Mrs.
Oma Farris, Mrs. Anna Gillian, Mrs.
B. Stipes. of Birmingham, and Miss
Ethel Fox. He was about twenty-five
years of age and was a member of the
Christian church and most highly es-
teemed young man.
The funeral services were held at
the residence this afternoon at I
o'clock attended by large concourse
of sorrowing friends. The interment
was at Campbell's Station.