The Butler weekly times and the Bates County record. (Butler, Mo.) 1918-1950, 1921-02-24

ssSSsS''S'1"'~'''''''''~ two somebody
comes along asking impertinent ques-
lions as to how many CHI. .aren I have,
and my maiden name before was
married, and whether there's insanity
In the family. .-.
"I'm sick and tired Of answering
such questions. If my old friends
want to dig into my family history.
I'll give them all the information they
want, although may consider their
conundrums In bad taste, but when q
perfect stranger comes along and asks
me If do my own washing. feel that
the line must be drawn somewhere.
Every jack in office asks questions. 1t
used to be that the assessor would
come to the door politely, and inquire
how many dogs we kept, and take our
estimate of the value of our prop
erty without looking as though he
knew we ought to be prosecuted for
perjury. But now he must know the
color of your grandfather's side whis-
kers, and If you tell him that you keep
no dogs he goes out and looks under
the house, and in the barn, and when
he comes back he warns yon that the
penalties for giving false information
are severe.
"Mr. CurfeW says that the next
time the assessor comes, he Is going
TO throw him over the back fence anC
kick him down the alley for dis
toncc of seven blocks, and l hope he'll
| keep his word -.
| 81 didn't mean to offend you" SAID
] the stranger. ''Tm introducing a wash
| ing powder that saves half the Iapor
| and dispenses with soap altogether
With this marvellous powder woman
can do the weeks washing and have
her clothes hung on the line, inside o.
two hours"
swell. mister, you take package
NJ vour marvellous powder down tc
the creek and give yourself gooo
scrubbing, for you look as though you
had been fishing out Of somebody's
dustbin. Your whiskers are full OF
sawdust, and your face Is covered
with Crime. If you were introducing
bitumjnous coal, there might be some
| excuse for your appearance, nut
man who Is selling washing power
ought to be like the driven snow, Of
| nobody will have confidence in him.
"And I wouldn't have anything u
do with your washing powder If you
offered to bring me a wagonload To-
twenty cents. make my own soal
IF I've and grease, and although !
isn't Endorsed by the crowned heads
Of Europe, or by prelates or vice pres
idents, it's the best soap ever mace
and I know the ingredients are "noie
some even II they don't compr's'
barks and buds and healing herbs.
"When use my own SOAP know
the things wash won't be any tn
worse for It, but the washing powder
sold by agents are made Of dynam't
and lunar caustic, and a garment ono
washed with them will never De q
to use again.
LAST spring I was feeling too pool
" to make the usual batch OF soal
go / bought a package Of washin
powder from an agent who nad ~
rockets full Of testimonials SHOWN
that he was a man Of high moral cna1
acter. It happened that week Una
All Of Mr.. Curfew's white shirts wer
in the wash. Mr.. Curfew Is very pa
ticular about his shirts Tney mus
be- as white as arctic snow, or the wa
he raves around the house Is OH
grace. Well. wish you could nav
seen those shirts after they wei
washed. They had an old gold colo
and have been getting yellower eve
since. and Mr.. Curfew never sits cow
but he speaks about 1t and make
things uncomfortable.
$50 you had better toddle aioI
and sell your washing powder 10 sou
woman who doesn't know how to maA
| cor,d a0an."