South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-07-31

anu = &C store VINO mas Just TtLuEutN
from a buying trip to New York, IN
forms his patrons that within five
years he will be carrying a certain
make OF automobile on his shelves.
II is limited that there is 10 be a
drop OF % percent in dining car
prices. We suppose IL is necessary
to prevent the poorer long distance
travellers from dying Of starvation
on the railroads hands while en-
route.
It is said the Chicago bootleggers
charged George AIDE SO a quart extra
because of his literary fame. We
don't believe they knew anything Of
his literary fame. They handed him
a lemon because of his name.
A London correspondent says
American cocktails are now on trial
in England. They were convicted
in the United States, but are moving
heaven and earth for a new trial
with the prospects anything but
bright-well no brighter than moon
shine.
twenty-five Of the live citizens Of
Bourbon are planning to give Charlie
Gerard. Of the local police force, a
banquet for his efforts in organizing
a traffic squad in that burg.
A we'll meaning person who tells
Collier how to eat corn advises him
TO butter the ears first, but we fancy
he starts in the middle and defers
the buttering Of the ears until he
works out to the end Of the cob.
Ray Whey was in Chicago and
New York this week, d. d. Gross
was in New York, Oscar Gilbert was
in the woods and Ben Baer was at
Kinger lake. Watch for announce
ments of the latest fall styles in
mems and women's wear.
Ed. Forstbauer spent a few days
at Pleasant lake this week. With
Eds presence, we feel sure the lake
lived up to it's name.
We admire Mr.. Harding for his
patience and good nature. What do
YOU suppose Roosevelt would have
handed to Borah and Johnson II they
had attempted to annoy him as they
are Harding?
It is in a time like this that the
man with the grit calls the order TO
advance and leads the way. rhe
triflers and the weaklings lounge in
the loafing places and cuss the gov
eminent
It IS nevertheless a fact that The
News-Times may eventually have TO
set up a Hoe press in Mishawaka to
print sufficient papers to keep the
citizens in good humor.
We are no prophet, except when It
becomes necessary as a sacred duty
10 predict democratic landslides. but
we are not far from the time when
women will be smoking as many Gig
arets as men, if not chewing as
much tobacco. o temporal o mores.
o hades!
Louis Gertsbauer the eminent
banker Of the north side OF the city,
is getting so thin and poor that we
expect the directors of the north
side bank to change the plans of
their new building in order to have
the entrance made five feet wider.
We fancy that undergoing a major
operation without an anesthesia must
be something awful like paying
taxes without first being chloro-
formed.
Collier reminds us that pantalettes
were part of the Victorian era Yes
and in that respect at least that un-
teddied period lacked much of be-
ing as snappy as these less sober
later days.
Now they say the most successful
New York vamps don mourning for
active operations. There is nothing
OIAkAlldA dDOuL H. HONtNtIs IG
most innocent young widow imagin-
able is an involuntary vamp when
she dons her weeds to meet the gaze
Of impressionable sons of Adam.
The Greeks have captured Eshki-
Shehr and are hourly looking for
the capture OF Ish ka Bibble. we
reckon.
We trust Fred Rankert, the coun-
try's greatest and most successful
road builder, will now be a perman-
ent resident OF Mishawaka seeing ne
has secured contracts in the city
amounting TO many thousands OF
dollars which Mayor Billy Dodge
will have to pay.
II tar is the proper treatment. let
the law apply it.
This talk about Injuries and neces-
stiles is all boSh. Human nature will
spend its last dollar for the alleged
luxury and do without the necessity.
Another thing that has made ali
mony so popular in this country is
that It is not rife with so much mon
otOny as the washtub.
Arthur Brisbane says human be-
ings. like trees. die at the top. But
Arthur has probably never suffered
an attack OF govt.
1t Is said George Harvey shocked
some OF his English friends by play
Ing golf in his shirtsleeves. They