The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1921-05-17

carried
What once was 1. encased in funeral dress.
Out through the door and watched it safely
buried
And have no further use for auto hearses,
What punishment. wonder, will be found
For me-the author of thousand verses!
OUR motto declaims Mr.. Bryan, should be:
"Disarmament-by agreement If possible, by
example if necessary" And what, we pause
to inquire, is Mr. Bryan's greatest weapon
And, without pausing TOR reply we make an
swer thus: His pen and his tongue" Loud
cries Of "Disarm him! qisarm him!"l
The Lady Said, sUneeda Biscuit"-And They
Fell for It
New Windsor Corr, Aledo Times Record
lady commercial traveller was in
town Tuesday. 1t is said Crom West and
John Spivey each bought barrel Of
baking powder from her.
THE admonition to Ego to the ant, thou
sluggard" went unheeded by Alfred Peterson
of Pleasant Prairie. Iowa He insisted on
marrying Miss Mae Unkel Of Muscatfne
That Comma ~ Rig Said Gonna Was Our
Point Comma Exactly Period
["Hits and Misses, Quincy Whig-Journal]
"Why Drag in B. L. T.?' comes back
the Argus coyumist.
Well. perhaps we were little hasty.
Maybe there is only one better colyum
than '"rhe Tombstone.
THE gentleman who conducts The Argus
Information Bureau should have some regard
for his readers finer feelings. Saturday he
said the English translation of Tientsin is
Heavenly Ford; which caused Judy to ex-
plode (via the ttelephone): COED heavens! Did
he ever try to crank one?"
TRUE; BUT FOR WAYS THAT ARE DARK
AND TRICKS THAT ARE VAIN THE
COLYUM CONDUCTORS PECULIAR"
Sir: could never be a colyum conductor.
You have to be able to write poetry, and know
the bible, n everything. SIM MIC.
END of Strike Not Yet Nearer" headlines
The Argus.
When it does become nearer how much
closer will it be than-but YOU figure 1t out.
SIT Down, Rio! You're Out Of Order!
[Riquarius in the Chicago Postl
PERHAPS Mr.. Edison could write fitting
much for him: Montana wedding license was
granted to Charley -His-Arrows and Mary
Hailstones-in- her Stomach. Presenting, how
ever, that this interesting pair may eventually
perpetuate their awesome pedigree may we
not offer as baptismal suggestions. John-Let's-
Play-Another-Game and Helen-the- Elephant
Never-Forgets?
| 1OO see, IL tnlS way, replied MISS SteS
promptly. I'm bored I'm terribly bored The
disorder in Europe doesn't appeal to me at all !;
it's so-tnforseen so known.'-From a short
story in the Sunday Trib.
| Further proof that woman is contradiction.
YOURS, WE TAKE IT, WAS NOT CHRIS
/ TENED "TIENTSIN"
Sir: While fivvering Geneseo- ward on the
State no-Aid road I came upon. bridge upon
which hung sign: MOT SAFE FOR EN-
lam hn1 10 ,ly~l,-
ceeded to cross it, for had lost mine some
where in the bad lands some four miles back.
Great little car, that which the non-adyertising
reporter refers to as "a popular model Of a
| light automobile. II the things only had
wings, SO when they 60 up they would STAY
UP! -ETEOCLESI
TOPPING an item from Belmond, Iowa. re-
cording the fact that COW had given birth to
four husky calves, three heifers and a bull".
the copyreader wrote SOME cow" Now.
we could have invented a snapper headline
than that.
YES-BUT WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN KEEP
ING THIS HEADLINE? WE PRINTED
1T WEEKS AGO.
Mac: Here's a>headline: "Aledo High Ball
Team Defeated BY Little York. What do YOU
know about a contest like that and Rock Is
land not represented! IL 1t too late to call
| well, is 1t too late to get up a team of our
own? wouldn't you like to 20 up against
some good three-bottle man, specifying bour-
bon ginger ale highballs as the weapon; cut
the distance down from 20 PAGES to saw, elbow
room. as many shots to man as necessary to
get CALF shot-Or all shetland then pour YOUR
opponent back into the barrel! -HAGG1S.
THE highest postofice in the world. in
forms the friend to the makeup man, is It
Pharjiong, in Tibet, situated 1880 feet above
sea level ~
Who's the postmaster general Of 1hibet. .
were looking for high Office
Well, IS Nels Doesn't Like Publicity We Shall
Not Say What We Iatcnded Saying.
Iron the Atkinson (Ill.) News
Nels Swanson, the champion domino
player, Is becoming more famous every
day. He was the only man in his crowd
to catch fish Sunday while fishing at
the canal AS Nels doesn't like publicity
We won't say anything more now. except
that he 10 an "all around" good fellow
and Why he doesn't get . housekeeper is
more than we can tell unless it be that
he 10 too awfully particular. Perhaps
he isn't persistent enough.
ION Saturday morning." reads an al in
the Muscatine Journal Il will open q grocery
store in the building formerly occupied bv the
butcher shop with a full line Of staple and
fancy groceries"
Nster mind the butcher shop: what are
YOU soing to carry?
Z, CHICAGO had the cleaaeet citv sov..,,n.,e