The Washington times., 1921-10-16

tHdt ib Hdhlns my bWeo~
heart and me utterly mis-
erable?" writes Dick. Were not
engaged. because we're both young
and I have a lot to accomplish In
the line OF getting my business on
its feet before I'll feel that / have
a right to ask any girl to marry mo.
But we both know that In another
year we'll be looking around for a
little home.
Now. the question is this: I'm
not called on to work at night. but
there are a lot of opportunities for
me to go to meetings In connection
with my work and there are soma
study clubs ! like to attend. More
over. belong to an amateur or
chestra. which meets once a week
and from which l get lot OF salts
faction and enjoyment.
$50 / don't see my sweetheart
more than once during the week,
with her i go home Sundty to stay
the day with my folks in the coun-
try, while II Molly and I plan a Sun
day together, ] run up home Satur-
day evening and spend Sunday with
my mother. ! think I'm doing
right. But Molly says II really
cared for her I'd give her all my
time.
And she thinks of breaking Off
with me unless / see my way clear
to be with her all my spare time.
love her, but feel she's all wrong
about this. Only ! don't know how
to convince her of 1t. Do you think
there's any argument can put up?"
Dicks letter strikes me as I'm
portant because 1t is one of several
along similar lines which have come
to me during the last few days.
And mixed in with the masculine
pleas to be set straight with girls
who are hurt at a lack of devotion
come the feminine pleas to make
masculine persons realize that a
chap owes it to his sweetheart. to
give her enough Of his time and AZ
tention to make 1t interesting for
her. Here's Grace's letter to offset
Dicks:
MY engagement isn't announced.
but as soon as business steadies and
settles down I'm going to be en-
gagged to a young man Of whom l
think the world. But I'm far from
happy because he doesn't bother
about me the way ! think he
should He devotes his time to
everything. in the world but the
girl he's supposed to love, and I'm
hurt more often than can say.
He always seems to have ex-
cuses about seeing his brother on
business, and having conference
and having to make business trip.
Yet he says he loves me. What do
you think of man who won't neg
lect other interests rather than see
the girl he loves sitting at home or
lonely and disappointed
Now while l sympathize heartily
with the disappointed girl who
finds that having mans love
doesn't assure her OF his constant
attentions. / realize that as long as
laere are such things in the world
as business and ambition and the
need of making living, the sit-
uation can't be bettered much.
About all that can be done for 1t
is TO bring a certain large, calm
sanity to the feminine viewpoint.
Love and marriage aren't picnics
or holidays or merrymaking occa-
sions. They are the serious busi-
ness of life. A man doesn't lose
all desire to get ahead In the world
because he's In love. And II ne
did, who would sooner feel asham-
ed of him and suffer more because
of him than his wife?
The woman who truly loves must
teach herself to share man
ambitions. Her love must urge MIN
up-not down. She must nave
more in her own life than the
clinging-yine attitude OF sitting
around waiting for her lover TO en-
tertain her.
But the man, on the other hand,
must make sure that his absorption
in his own viewpoints and goals
doesn't deny him the breadth OF
vision which would enable him TO
see that his sweetheart is an indi-
vidual with longings ard hopes
and desires to match his own.