Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1921-04-06

would" commented the hOtelkeeper.
YOU think you put up fine line of
English when you are talking. You
are satisfied you never make any bad
breaks, so feel safe in saying you
would welcome criticism, but if some
sharp who is wise to all the fancy
curves of the language came along,
and showed you where you get Off, you
wouldn't wiring his hand in an ecstasy
of gratitude. No, dOggOne it, you
would climb on his person and discolor
one of his eyes.
IF there's any man makes me tired
and sore, it's the one who calls me
down when am speaking piece, and
tells me l am making Lindley Murray
roll over in his grave. / don't mind if
there are only two Of us present at the
time, but when there are innocent by
ISLANDERS around l get all worked ur
and insist upon a hand to hand con-
1iict. No good sport would do such
thing. If you don't like the way
talk, you can pass up this hotel when
making your daily rounds. IF you
must hand me a package of criticism
or admOnition, send it by mail. Then
l can read it in the privacy of my own
bed room, and there won't be anybody
around to raise a horse laugh.
"My education was sadly neglected
when I was young. I went to school
only a few months and everything I
learned was wrong, for the teacher
was farmer who took up educational
work as recreation when the weather
prevented him from cultivating his
beans. The little 1 know 1 accumulat-
ed by reading the newspapers and a
few dime novels. .....
consequently am always taking a
fall out Of tn a, language. never could
wise myself to the fine points of gram
mar, and it was only recently 1 quit
saying 4 done it, and 4 have went
Every now and then an aleck stops me
| in the middle of discourse and shows
me where am wrong, and if there is
any way of getting even with that man
/ always do. There was a drummer
| for shoe house who used to frequent
this place. 1 took liking to him, and
, always gave him the best room and
saw that his eggs were fresh from the
vines. and looked after his comfort
| generally.
Zone day / was telling him story,
and he stopped me just when / was
| approaching the perOration, and began
to explain the difference between
'shalr and will 1t seemed that I al
ways used one of these words when
should have used the other, and in the
| goodness OF his heart he explained the
| whole business to me. When he had
| made everything clear he asked me to
| finish my story, but told him, in a bit
| ing sort of way, that l might wound
him to the quick by misplacing a few
I more words, SO l would spare him that
| inflictiOn.
| 'Then he saw he was in bad, and he
| began telling me how he always liked
! to be corrected, and he took it fo1
| granted that others felt the same way
about it, and the more he talked the
less use had for him.
| 'He registered here many times aft
er that, always got the worst room in
| the house and il there was a particu
larry tough steak on hand, it went tt
| him. He tried his hardest to square
| himself, and was always looking al
me, hoping to see winning smile OF
my Saste lips, but he never got any
| thing but the arctic glare, and sup
! pose he's kicking himself. even to this
day, because he made that break. Ano
| if you want to queer yourself with al
| your friends, you'll keep up this thing
| of telling people of their mistakes"