South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-01-07
THE HYPOTHESIS OF FAIL URE By o. Henry

Portable chair facing that gentle
man.
You arc Phineas Q. GoOch. at
torney -at-law2' said the visitor. his
tone or voice and infection making
his words az once a question. an as
sertion and an accusation.
Before committing himself BY
reply. the lawyer estimated his pos
sble client In one OF his brief but
slrewd and calculating glances.
The man was OF the emphatic type
-large-sized, active. bold and de-
bOnair in demeanour, vain beyond a
doubt. slightly staggering, ready
and at ease. He was well-clOthed,
but with shade too much ornate
ness He was seeking a lawyer.
but II that fact would seem To sad
die him with troubles they were
not patent in his beaming eye and
courageous air.
MY name is Gooch." at length
the lawyer admitted. Upon pres
sure ne would also have confessed
20 the Ph.neas G. But ne did not
consider it good practice 10 volun-
teer information. Il did not re-
ceive your card" he continued. by
way OF rebuke. $50 T."
I know you didn't" remarked
the N4allOAs CDOAAts anu gU4 WOi- I
just yet. Light up2" RE threw a
leg over arm OF his ,l-!r AMI
tossed a handful Of -hued cigars
uopn the table. Lawyer GOoch
knew the brand. He thawed Just
enough 10 accept the invitation TO
smoke.
You are a divorce lawyer" said
the cardlcss visitor. This time there
was no Interrogation in his voice.
Nor did his words constitute a sim
pie assertion. They formed a
Charge denUnciatiOn-as one
would say to a dog. You are a
dog" Lawyer GOoch was silent IN
der the imputatiOn.
You handle" continued the Wis
itor. "au the various ramifcations
of busted-up cOnnubiality. You are
a surgeon, We might say, who eX-
tracts Cupid's darts when he shoots
EN- into the wrong parties. You
furnish patent. incandescent lights
for premises where the torch Of Hy-
men has burned so low you can't
light a cigar at It. Am I right. Mr..
GoOch2'
Il have undertaken cases." said
the lawyer. guardedly. 'in the line
to which your hgurative speech
seems to refer. Do you wish TO
The lawyer paused, with signif-
canoe.
NOT yet" said the other, with an
arch wave Of his cigar, mot Just
yet Let US approach the subject
with the caution that should have
I been used in the original act that
makes this pow-wOw necessary
/ There exists a matrimonial tumble
TO be Strengthened out. But before
I give YOU means I want your hon
7 est-well, anyhow, your professional
I opinion on the merits Of the mix
up / want YOU TO size up the catas-
/ trophe-a bstractly - you under
stand? I'm Mr.. Nobody; and I've
got a story TO tell you. Then you
say what's what. Do you get my
( wireless ?"
you want to state a hypothetical
! cases2" suggested Lawyer GOoch.
That's the word I was after.
! 'Apothecary' was the best shot
/ could make at IL IN my mind. The
Hypothetical goes. I'll state the
] case. Suppose there's a wOman-a
/ deuced fne-lOOking woman-who
! has run away from her husband ana
/ home? She's badly mashed on an
/ other man who went to her town
\ TO work up some real estate bust
I
woman's husband Thomas L. Bill
I lings. for that's his name. I'm Civ
/ ing you straight tips on the CognO-
mems. The LothariO chap is Henry
| X. Jessup. The Billin gses lived in
a little town called Susanville-a
good many miles from here. Now.
: Jessup leaves Susanville two weeks
ago. The next day Mrs. Billings
( follows him. She's dead gone on
! this man Jessup: YOU can bet your
/ law library on that"
I LAWYER GoOch's client said this
with such unctuous satisfaction that
I even the CallOus lawyer experienced
a slight ripple OF repulsiOn. He
now saw clearly in his fatuous Wis
itOr the conceit Of the lady-killerr
\ the egOistic complacency of the
/ successful trifer.
Now" continued the visitor
/ suppose this Mrs. Billings wasn't
/ happy at home2 Wen say she
and her husband didn't gee worth
\ a cent. They've got incompatibility
\ 10 burn. The things she likes, Bill
I lIngs wouldn't have as a gift with
\ trading stamps. It's Tabby and
\ Rover with them all the time. She's
ar educated woman in science and
culture. and she reads things out
I loud at meetings. Billings is not on,
/ He don't appreciate progress and
I obelislSs and ethics and things Of
/ that sort. old Billings IS simply a
/ blink when II comes 20 such things
I The lady IS out and out above his
/ class. Now, lawyer. don't II look
] like a fair equalization Of rights and