Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1921-06-24
AS ONE WOMAN SEES lT
II ls Mildly Suggested That Rank
and:FIle Manners Sometimes Are
as Emery In the Bearings OF
the Chariot Of Progress
BY SARAH ID. LOWRIE

manners to the boys and the men who came
TO the settlement clubs for recreation and
for general betterment.
The point of discussion was, What code OF
manners3 She held that as she and formed
very small minority in that particular
neighborhood we had no right to insist that
our code should be the one to obtain in the
settlement, especially as there was among
the great ajorty of the self-rcspecting fam
lilies that comprised that corner of a great
city a very recognizable code of manners
which might be said to be more representa-
tive of the rank and file of Americans than
those which a minority of our countrymen
laid stress upon.
1t was considered elegant In that neigh
borhood to remove ones piece Of bread from
the general bread plate with ones fork;
conversation during eating was not only not
required, 1t was rather an interruption
marked responsibility on the part of a host or
hostess to make talk. il talk was not forth
coming, was cOnspcuously absent; going
through doorway before rather than after
woman was a mans prerogativc; once
planted on a chair. rising to speak to new
conner or to ones hostess or ones guest had
no significance shaking hands was scarcely
oblgatory and never hearty-that is, the
grasp was faint and uncordial and the hand
dropped away with nothing final in its ges
turc. Presents were given and received with
casual air and with almost an unwilling
comment from the recipient. Notes OF invi-
tation dropped as into an abyss. whether the
invited one fully intended coming or had de-
termined to stay away.
Except between boys and girls who were
courting-and then rather infrequently--
praise and compliment or even afectionate
appreciation of n spoken word was avoided
under the idea that it was fulsome and even
open to the suspicion of disngcnuousness.
On the other hand. certain rcticences OBJ
served by the minority in its code OF man
ners regarding physical phenomena had no
place In the code of the majority. which is
why the ordinary badinage of the majority
is so surprising to the minority.
0NHE lady Of the settlement held that as
l. the manners of the minority-that is.
hers and mine-werc purely arbitrary, to
teach them as an obligation to the boys and
to insist on the practice of them in our com
pany to the men was arrogating to ourselves
a superiority that might we'll be resented IA
class dictation. She gave me very funny
description of entering Il room and trying.
without any words to got a man who was
hdhering TO the code Of the ma jority-and so
TO his chair--to rise and greet her. She
paused at the door with her hand out; he
responded to the extent of putting out his
hand and she approached his chair as though
she were going to do 1t all then just short
Of his outStretched hand she paused, and six
times out of ten she might lift him by this
maneuver on TO his feet; she would then.
once the handshakc was accomplished.
calmly take his chair. which obliged him to
uTdW up anOtner Tor nlmSelt. But this
little byplay had no meaning to him beyond
sense that she was awkward in her un-
experiences; rs lesson in manners it had
no significance at all. and she had eventually
discarded it as being non essential.
MY OWN theory about the matter was
4Nl that from purely utilitarian grounds it
would be better for the boys who had to make
their way in world where the code of most
of the employers was the minority code-it
would be wise If they could get a viewpoint
of the manners that were at least theoreti-
caiy valued by that class. | considered the
means to accomplish this and thought the
learning and acting of good plays might do it
by a kind Of natural absorption. But I
found that it required a great deal more
study to use play later than the age of
Shakesprarc-unlcss it was farce or a
DickcnSOnian drama because of the very
difference in manners natural to the char
= a"ters and those habitual to the bows
Eventually let the matter drop, ms the lady
of the settlement had done. because the task
was too big; not because | was convinced
that she was right that, because most
Americans had those manners. they were of
necessity the best. That was one place where
it seemed to me the will of the majority
being the voice of God seemed to fall down.
T WAS interested the other dav to observe
i how my theory was proved true that a
employer class was useful requirement and
business asset, and a lack of that knowl.
edge a corresponding loss.
heard of a very good an exceptionally
good opening for young man as an ac-
COuntant and as general foreman in a bip
institution. Part of the opportunity to an
advance lay also in the chance that if
man made good there he could be used as his
employers representative In meeting and
dealing with tho clients of the business
thp h,,.;
were very personal and confidential n very
good address and quality of tact and help
fulneSs of manner were decided necessities
Now II so happened that very expert ac-
countant was In need of a position and was
recommended and cam" in person to the en-
pl"Ners own house to apply for the lob. He
sat where the colOred man servant had di-
rccted him in room opening out of the
drawing room, aud here the mistress of the
house happened on him moment or two
later as she was passing through arranging
some howers. lie remained securely wedgeJ
| in a rocking chair rs she passed him. and
when she presently returned and spoke to
| him nc still did not budgc. She cyploined
that her husband would see him presently,
| whCreat he nodded his head judiciallv and
| remarked that the "olordd gentleman had so
informed him. Her immediate and swift
| decision that h" would not do" was in
| cvitable. lie might bp good accountant
| but he did not know how to meet strangers
either hcpfullN or cordially nor could ne
recognize lnstinctvcly or BY training the
manner suitable for one situation and un.
! suitable for another. lie had his own man.
ncrs, but not those of the persons from whom
| he sought employment.
one Of the most spectacular cases Of
" losing out by failure in manners
was acted before my eyes one summer doy
Il year or two ago by very smart voung
| machinist who's" ambition it was to be n
dcmonstrator for some big motor agency.
! lie had conhd"d his d"Sir" to me while acting
temporarily as chauffeur. lie drove me and
two friends OF min" during one long summer
day. II was hot day and we were crrand-
| ing part of IN" tim" and part of the time
stopping in tempting bits of country 70
botanzc. lie hated getting out for the or.
rands. but he grow surIy AT stopping with
a clear road ahead Of him while three women
collected plants and berries. Recognizing
me as his employer and temporary boss, he
did what ! suggested, but he grumpily dis
regarded the wishes of the two guests, His