The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-10-30

abonimably d'sherted me. For'n Missionary 6'ciety met safternoon at our house. All ladies in S'clety met our house. Deac'n tol me be gener- ous-giyyem all the r'fressmens they wanted. He wont down shellar an got some zat shider he pup lash Marsh. He said he wanted to shee whezzer 1t was any good" She paused, her brow wrinkled in thought 'Lesh where was r"
 Tn the parlor?" supplied Ander- son, helpfully.
 She shook her head impatfently. ~1 mean where was talkin bout? Oh, l yesh-'bout shider. When Woman For'n Missinary s'ciety come l givvem shider-lots shider. No harm in shider, An'erson--so don look like that. Deacon shays baby could drink barrel shider an-and sho on an sho forth. Well, For'n n Missinary S'ciety all havin' splennid time-singin' n prayin' 'n' sho on 'n' sho forth, an'-- sho on n sho forth. Then your wife An'erson, she jumps up n shays we gotter have shong-sheryice-reg'lel shong shervice. She"
 My wife7" exclaimed Anderson Was Eva Crow there?"
 "Shert'nly. Never sho happy 'n her life. Couldn't b'lieye my eyes n ears. And Sister Jones, too-youI bosh's wife, Misser. SQuires. Say d'you ever know she could shine bass? Well, she can, all right. She c'n shing bass an tenor'n ep'thine else, she can. She"
 l uIx 9s demanded Anderson, with a wild look at Harry.
 Who? The Woman For'n Ms sionafy s'ciety7'
 Yes. For heavens sake, don. tell me they're loose on the street.'
 Not mush! Promised mo they wait till I capshered my hussam deader Tive, an bring i'm 'ome Didden I tell you my hussam de sherted me7 He desherted all of Ill all of For'n Missinary S'ciety. gotter bring i'm back, deader Tive Wannim to lead in shong shervice My hussam's got loudes' voice il town. Leads shingin' in chursh n prayer meetin' 'n' everywhere else Loudes' voice in town. thass what h, is. Prays loudes' of anybody, too Lass I heard of 'em they was al shingin' differen' shongs- Loudes voice--lou' st voich-lou-~
 She slumbered.
 The marshal and the editor looked at each other.
 ''Well, she safe for the tim, being" said the latter, wiping his we forehead.
 An so's the deacon,' added An derson. See here, Harry, I got tt hustle up to the deacon's house an see what c'n be done with then be disgraced if they get out on tn street an'-why, like as not. they'l start a parade or somethin. Yol stay here an watch her, an Ill.,"
 "No, you don't my friend" brok in Harry gruffly. You get her ou of this office as quickly as you can If you'd been attending to your jol as good, competent official of thi benighted town, the poor, helples little woman wouldn't be in the con dition she's in now. You"
 Hold on there. What do yo1 mean by that?"
 ] "I mean this, Mir. Shellbac Holmes. A dozen people in this tow have been buying up apples an grinding them and making cider 0 them as fast as they could cask ever since last January. Making right under your nose, and this Is tn first you've seen of it. There enough hard cider in Tinkletown a this minute to pickle an army. Sc those bottles over there under Bill stool? Well, old Deacon Rank lei 'em there because he was afraid he bust 'em when he made his ex. thruogh that window. He has trie it out on the most highly respecte ladies in town, that's what he's don
 and why? Because 1t was tn
 cheapest way to do it. He didn have to waste more than quart o the whole bunch of 'em. Sure fir , stuff! And there are barrels of 1t , this town, Mir. Shellback Holmes waiting to be converted into sons 7 is to take this unfortunate result ( prohibition home and put her to bed. Anderson sat down heavily.
 My sakes. Harry-I-I-wh1 } this is turriblei My wife drunk, ar an'-Mrs. Jones, an Mrs. NixoI } an'-''
 "Yes. sir" said Harry heartlessly they probably are lit up like tn r Lsunny side of the moon, and what more, my friend, if they do take into their poor, beaddled heads to g out and paint the town, there won : be any stopping 'em. Hold on 3 Didn't you hear what I said abou l the case in hand? You take he 7 home, do you hearf"
 7 "But-how am to get her home 1 I--I can't carry her through tn l streets" groaned the harassed maj : shal.
 You leave her to me. old fellow t I'll take care of her. She can sta , here till after dark and I'll see ths 3 she gets home all right" t By gosh, Harry, you're rel : friend! I--I won't fergit this-nt , sir. neveri" l What are you going to do first? :. I'm goin to get my wife out ( 1 that den of iniquity and take he I home!" said Anderson resolutely. The crowd in front of the Banns
 office now numbered at least hul i. Idred. MT. Crow stopped at the to ! of the steps and swiftly ran his ey 3 over the excited throng. He WE B thinking hard and quite rapidly-fc s him. All the while the crowd we : shouting questions at him, he WE : deliberately counting noses, Sut l denly he held up his hand. There vi 8 Instant, expectaut silence. I "Au husbands who pDssesg Wfy<