New-York tribune., 1921-09-04
By Eiarriette Underhill

Blocks Away" which opened last Tues
day night at the George NJ. Cohan
Theater. Thank goodness! when George
Cohan renounced all things theatrical
he didn't turn his theater into bank
or something, for it is about the only
theater one can find without resorting
to the visitors guide" All of the
new ones which spring up in groups
each year are so difficult to identify.
Ii you once get in Forty-ffth Street,
for instance, you're gone. We know
lots of people who saw the first and
second acts of mice People" at the
Klaw and the last act of "The Bat"
at the Morosco, and we nearly saw the
last act of "The Green Goddess"
first two acts of Marjorie Rambeau's
new play at the Plymouth and going
out for air. 1t used to be so in Forty
eighth Street, too, and We know one
critic who went to see "The Thirteenth
Chair" and wound up at "The Man
Who Came Back" He called his story
"the chair that came back"
However, all this has nothing to do
with Barney Bernard, because his play
is staged two blocks away from any
other theater. Besides, it isn't in the
least like any other play excepting
"The Auctioneer," and you know, if it
were possible, we believe man might
see a part of each of these plays in
the same evening without losing in
terest in either one. They are singu-
iarly alike
Mr.. Hoffman breaches
And Mr.. Bernard Practices
But, as we were saying, Barney Ber-
nard breaches one thing on the stage
(via Mr.. Hcffman's play) and then
when you meet him off the stage he
goes and proves that it isn't true. In
the play he teaches that prosperity
spoils a sweet nature as surely as a
thunder storm turns sweet cream sour
Now, we used to know Barney years
ago when he was in vaudeville and we
had aspirations, and he was noted for
his unfailing good nature and altru-
ism. He always said when he was q
star he wasn't going to change bit.
And. do you think he has kept his word I?
"You bet your life he has"
"Poor boy" said Mrs. Bernard, as she
kissed him on either cheek, "and he is
so sick! I didn't want him to 20 OH,
even if it was an opening, but he
would CO." Mrs. Bernard dresses the
way we think a stars wife ought to
dress. 1t must be lot of satisfaction
for man to look at beautiful woman
and know that she looks beautiful, be-
cause he was clever enough in his
chosen profession to buy her pearls and
diamonds and rubies and gorgeous raj
ment. You see, we do not believe that
beauty unadorned" one. The cline
feathers" idea is more to our way Of
thinking. However, Mrs. Bernard must
love Mr.. Bernard very dearly to kiss
Kim at that particular moment. He mad
let us come into his dressing room be-
cause he still has his old complaint
heart trouble-and he refused to keep
us waiting a moment for fear it would
inconvenience US. But, any way, he did
rot look beautiful, and we should not
have been inspired to kiss him.
Why Our Hero
Shone Resplendent
He had started to- remove his make
up, and his face was covered with cold
cream smeared with red and black and
blue grease paint. He still had on his
last-act costume, consisting Of an old,
faded red bathrobe, and bare legs and
feet thrust into worn-out carpet slip
pers. No, decidedly, he is not beau
tiful, but his sister is. She also came
in, and embraced him on top of the
grease paint, and then came brother
in-law and all of their friends, and in
& second the dressing room was full of
flowers and congratulations. Mrs. Ber-
nard started to read the kilograms
May you have another 'Six-Cylinder
Love- ernest Truex)," she read. "And
here's one from Sam Bernard and Ray
mond Hitchcock, and here's one from
George Cohan and"-S-. But here
Mrs Barney stopped and regarded her
Rarney with anxious eye. you're
feeling worse. Let me feel your pulse.
There, it's 90l knew it. You mustn't
talk any more"
"But / haven't given the poor girl
anything to write about. I've got to
talk"
In Which We
Reassure Our Hero
ooh, haven't you?" we answered.
I'VE are not like stage reporter, with
pad and pencil and a set of uues-
tions. If you like. however, you can
answer these: How long has "Two
Blocks Away" been on the road in prep
sration for its New York debut? How
long were you portraying Potash, and
do you like Nate Pommerantx as we'll
as Abe And how long have you been
on the stage?' We put it that way SO
that Mr.. Bernard might be interviewed d
with minimum of effort. You see, his
trouble was neuritis in his neck, and
we believe we know more about that
beast than the man who invented it.
AS one of our Christian Science friends
once said, "It's very painful belief"
Anyway, Mr.. Bernard's answers to