The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1921-09-27
Not Every Man Can Afford an Assistant
Vacnfi0uiSf.

Not Every Man IAN An0ru an AsnlSIanL
YacationiSt.
IFrom the Port Byron (Ill) Globel
| Tom Mikesell, rural carrier on route
! No l out of Port Byron, is taking his
| vacation from his duties. Hugh Mont
gomery is his assistant
IN a review of Erik Dorm, by Ben Hecht,
John V. A Weaver writes: Here is novel
| that gIares, dazzles, startles with its clear
! shine. -. If you want to hear the most pow
erful voice of the present generatlon-not the
lusty adoIescent yell of a Fitzgerald but voice
which uses words with exactness, with pitiless
straightness and the assaulting vehemence OF
a Mencken
There was more of that, but we pause right
here to exclaim that we're going to read 'Er1k
Dorm, by Hecht!
The Diary of Pale Blue Ass.
| Sept ZS-Depending on the diary OF the
Young Ruftian l have neglected my own There
! is a lapse of several days in which my dolngs
have not been recorded for posterity. All, Well,
posterity will have to struggle along without
those records. Besides, what, as somebody
! (probabiy Ring Laroner) said, has posterlty
ever done for me? Spent usual day at the
office. Came home with my colyum unfinished
After the family went to bed completed the
onerous tor onery) task, then sat up till mid
night reading lrv Cobbs latest Judge Priest
story and "Frsky Whisky, by W. A. p. John,
in the SateVepost. Cobbs story didn't seem up
to his former standard, but Johns story, a
rollicking tale OF Afro-American adventures IA
love and finance outdoes those similar tales
NNsNA~-
read than to write, l find.
SepI 24-Up early. l suppose l had the
usual crouch the Young Rutfan says l always
have on payday. l believe, however, l re
trained from growing at T. L. W. II. t. D. s.,
although | may have barked at her once be-
fore leaving for the office. Worked hard all
day Some Of my office associates who read
that-if they chance to read this colyum-wllI
smile; but they don't know how l feel about
work An idea for a little poem pops into
my head at the moment beginning thus:
Q it might be fun to work some
If l didn't find it irksome
1 must finish that one OF these days. Being
written on the subject nearest my heart 1t
ought to be metrical success -. 7. L. W.
II. l. d. III s. inyelgled me into clothing store
this afternoon and forced me to purchase
faincoat for myself Doubtless it Will not rain
again all winter. Had dinner in Hickey's tea
room. Nice lunch and all that, but l could
wish Mr. Hickey wouldn't serve in pots
with broken noZZleS. l must speak to Condo
Meenan about that. Started home at 7:15 and
the rain started at the same time and kept up
with the car all the way. We dashed from
the car at both. street into an old railroad
friends house. There We spent a pleasant
hour and half with Bill and the missus. Bill
and 1 discussed the Ku klux Khan, the New
Thought religion, Wilson, Harding, Iowa's at
torney general, the book of Proverbs hell fire |
in fact, almost everything except the subject |
most people would expect US to talk about !
railroading. Bills library table holds gen
erous humidor, too, so, take it by and large |
didn't regret the rainstorm.
Sept. 25-Up early shaved, breakfasted and /
went downtown after the mail-and didn't get
any. The People Across the Way kidnapped US |
in their fivVer and started gaiIy in the !
general direction of Muscatine at 80. We !
passed through Buffalo little later then went |
past Montpelier and headed down the river
road, serenely unaware of the pit the devil /!
was digging for US up ahead. We found the
new road closed and turned down toward the |
river bank where the old road runs. Turning
the corner we saw gentleman with a team of |
horses hltched to a road drag. moment later
grlg -nnI
and headed toward miniature roadway com
posed of three long planks laid over a sea of
mud Our chauffeur temporarily off his guard
missed the planks completely and Lizzie
stopped with shudder and the W. k dull
slckening thud, with the left front fender nos
ing into the mud. Just then the raucous voice
OF the-er-gentieman with the team smote
our eardrums with this: FIR heavens sake
man, what the devil you tryin' to do"
Trying to hit those planks," replied the chauf-
1eur, IN some confusion. We'll, by YOU
sure made hell of out at it," shouted the
candid road worker. Here we worked dam
near all day gettin' them there planks in place
an then you come along and miss emf" The
chauffeur bfushed. We'll I tried to hit 'er1
he said, but l couldn't keep 'er in the track /
Do you think 1 can get her out?" he added
HUH snorted the other. "Naw you're in !
one hell of a fix, I'll say. You won't get our
iess'n somebody pulls you out" But he didn't
Know Lizzie like we did We got out and O! |,
what relief The roadworker was a good |.
scout, at that He told us how to get back to
,
turned down tip. The trip to Muscatine went
a-glimmering. Believing 1.-THE longest wav
round was the shortest way home, we took
his advice and started once more / didn't
know Iowa had hills like those we ran up and
coasted down. They weren't long ones INT
they made up in perpendfcularity what thew
lac lacked IN length The Lady Across the way
hid her face every time we started down one
OF those declivities. Then-heaven helm usi-
twenty feet from the top of the last hill Lizzie
gave one last choking cough and expired We
inc lint not
MIL spotted farm hQHse about a mile
away and beat it hence. Result big cracked .
nandle-less pitcher with a gallon and a half
Oh some or the most precious fluid il existence
nar none-even from bar. And it cost only
quarter We reached home and something
10 eat without further mishap. Some dav
snailIwhen am rich enough in experience
write little book entitled, Lizzie the Mud
Lizard or Fhvverfng With Friends" If Dante
had owned car he might have written a
better book.
THERE ought to be- said Mr. Harding
VOTE ror everybody in the United States who !.
chooses to work. ~