Arizona republican., 1921-09-17
LARDNER WEEKLY LETTER By RING w. LARDNER
SIMPLIFYING SIMPLICITY

10 the editor:
 I don't suppose they's a domicile in the U. s. or Canada which by this time ain't furnished with one of these here tops that you spin and gambel with them and a home that ain't got one is as far behind the times as a bride that can't make gin and pretty near every place you go now days on a party, why instead of halling out the cards or African golf balls, why the host generally all ways produces a gold or diamond studed top and everybody squeels and can't hardly wait till the diuning rm. table is cleared off so as they can start the fray.
 But in case they's 1 or Rip Van Wrinkles amongst my readers that has been asleep for the past VT. and don't know what the top game it, I will exclaim that it is a game where everybody puts a nickel or quarter in the pot as the case may be and then the 1st player spins the little top which has got or sides on 1t and the sides has different things wrot on them like P and T and etc. and one of the sides has got a star on it and another has got O on it and if the star comes up, the player that span the top takes the whole pot and if the O comes up why nothing happens only he losses his turn. But if it comes up P 8 why that means he has got to put more quarter or nickels in the pot and if it comes up 2. he takes 2 nickels or 2 quarters out of the pot and etc.
 On acct. of the P and T meaning Put and Take the game has been ,s.I-, a1 TDrrf nd couldn't have no better nickname as far as I am concerned as the minute the game starts, that is the signal for me to Put on my hat and Take the air.
 Now friends when a game gets such a hold on the public like this game why they must be some req son for same and in looking around for a reason why this here game has took the people by storms, a man can't only come to one conclusion namely that people like it because they was no other game ever in vented that is less of a strain on the mind.
 When I say that I don't include no games that is played outdoors be- cause Of course they's no indoor game which can compare with golf for inst. in the amt. of thought a man has to SD6Hu u BAdN IL NlAAOAA NcilA bt pAONtu by going up to the next great golf player you meet and ask him a cou- pie of medium fought test questions like:
 What month does xmas come in?" and What ocean Is near the Pacific coast?"
 Fine for Women
 But Put and Take is the indoor champ and even parchesi is a whole lot more strain on the mind because in parchesi you have got to remem- Der what color men you are playing with and sometimes count up as high as 12, so a good many people that use to be a great admirer of par chesi has deserted it in favor of the top and a specially the women folks whose mental mechanism is so much more delicate than ours that 2 or 3 sets of parchesi or halma is libel to cause a complete nervous break down.
 In fact a good many doctors has recommended their female patients to give up poker and bridge and start spinning the top because the average woman's mind ain't quite up to the mental strain of bridge and poker, like for inst. remembering which hand you just took the last trick in or trying to figure out how much l pt. amounts 10 al P a Ct. a pJ. or when it is your turn to ante or whether flush beats of a kind.
 Also the physical efforts of bridge often proves too much for the weak CT sex and many a gal has broke her toe vs. her partners shin or throwed her neck out trying to see what her husband doubled her on.
 So Put and Take comes like a god send to the ladies, god bless them, as it don't mean hardly any physical or mental strain, neither one. The average top weighs 1 to 3 oz. but they's generally always a big husky he man in the game that will spin it for you and as for the mental effort why by the time the normal college graduate has played a couple of rds. they have practically mastered the technicaltys which is that stands