The herald and news. [volume] (Newberry S.C.) 1903-1937, 1921-05-20
'patrol guarantees strikes galore.
Ku-Zu (Bactrainus Humanus)

(Also under consideration as a gift to
the city, Same type of ship" used
in biblical times, remains unchanged
and unimproved, Notwithstanding the
efforts of Robert Fulton, slightly
known in steamship circles, and John
Holland of submarine fame. See the
two large ''tanks" on his back that
were specially designed by nature to
enable him to cross the arid wastes
of the deserts-deserts far drler, as
the 18th Amendment goes than Green
vile. Has made many trips across
the hot sands to the Holy City Of
Mecca, travelling more miles than any
member is able to calculate. Novices
put in charge of poor KuZu have al
ways thru their own discomfort, for
gotten him and lost the record of his
mileage. Has sad, expressive eyes and
is particularly fond of ladies and chill
dren, having received better treat
ment at their hands. Very docile,
but forgets himself and bites those
who crowd into the street when the
parade is passing.
The Hypochondriac Cage
No. Nothing ferocious in it, no
wild denizen of the jungle, merely a
seething mass of sad, desolate, des-
pairing, wretched, down-hearted and
depressed human beings; at any rate
they are supposed to be human be-
ings, but you may judge for yourself.
Giddy Goats (Billicus Odiferious)
Will and Willyum. Twins! Can't
tell 'em apart. Try it. Only wheeled
species in existence. Very rare, some
say "raw." Pets of all Shriners;
dreaded by all candidates. Trained
against rock walls, they are the vic
torious veterans of many ceremonials.
First exhibition in the open. A can
didate may argue with them, BUTT
that is their game.
Cause and Effect.
This pantomime will bring many of
the masculine sex to realize how for
tunate they are to be out to witness
the grand spectacle of this immense
parade. Every mother should make
it point to bring her son, every wife
her husband and every girl her sweet
heart Gf any) to see this tragical pre-
sentation of a great moral. May be
the means of saving many tears and
dollars.
Der Captain (Himself)
Right out of the Sunday supple
ment into the Shrine. parade. Yes,
he'll be there. Same old peg leg, same
old clothes and cap that Hans and
Fritz have wrought such havoc with.
He loves the children-all of them,
good, bad or indifferent. Is expected
to be imbued with a Shriner's dispo-
sition on this day and entertain the
kiddies. "Dod gasted" fine old fellow
ave admit it.
Then and Now
Another heart-rending pantomime
which will prove a faultless barome-
ter of your recent past. Take warn
ing and do not look at the person by,
you while this oriSginative oracle is
passing, lest you divulge secrets that
may prove humiliating and ruinous.
This dry drama is bound to provoke,
in the eyes cf all men-and some Wo-
men-tears of regret, or watery dia-
monds of Joy.
Mutt and Jeff
These two celebrities will make
their escape from the funny papers
for the express purpose of taking part
in the parade. Must be seen in real
life (outside the papers) to be appre-
ciated. Delight of young and old,
they will be seen with the Shriners
doing the most ridiculous, humorous
and witty things imaginable, most of
which even Bud Fisher has never
thought of. Can you miss 'em? We
say you can't.
Cecil, the Tramp
Well fed, but hungry looking, this
shiftless, slothful sluggard Of the
comic section will be on hand. Don't
''see him in the funny-paper." But
look him over in the Shrine parade.
He has tramped his way into the
hearts of millions of people, young
and old alike, and will now be seen
in broad open daylight tramping down
Main strget with the Shriners just as
happy as if he and some of the fresh
meat had good sense.
The Devil
"The Devil you say1' Certainly,
,Dbv not3 Did Won ever 90 anywhere