South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-01-05

on sank except the submarines. Fv-
erything I was ever Interested in
Went % pieces except patent
bombshell that I invented Every
thing / ever took hold Of and tried
20 run 4 ran into the ground except
when / tried 10 plough And that's
why they call me Bad-Luck Kearny.
I thought I'd tell you
Bad luck said /. or what goes
tangle the affairs OF any man. But
II IL persist beyond the estimate of
what we may call the averages"
there must BE- a cause for it.
There is said Kearny empha-
ucally. and when we walk another
square I Will show IL 10 YOU.
Surprised, / kept by his side IN
I'll We came 20 Canal st. and out in
20 the middle OF It's great width.
Kearny seized me by an arm and
pointed a tragic fOrefnger at n
rather brilliant star that shone
steadily about 30 degrees above the
horizon
That's saturn said he. the star
that presides over bad luck and evil
and disappointment and nothing do
ing and trouble. I was born under
that star. Every move I make. up
hOOdOO planet Of the heavens. They
say he's 10000 miles in diameter
and 10 solder Of body than split
pea soup, and he's got as many dis
reputable and malignant rings as
Chicago. Now what kind OF a star
IS that 20 be born under?
Il asked Kearny where ne had
obtained all this astonishing knowl-
edge
From Azrath, the great astroi-
oyer Of Cleveland. Ohio said he.
That man looked at u glass ball
and told me my name before I'd TAX
en- chair. He prOphesied the date
Of my birth and death before he
said II word. And then ne cast my
horoscope. and the sidereal system
SOCked me in the solar plexus. 1t
was bad luck for Francis kearny
from a 10 lizard and for his friends
that were implicated with him. For
that L gave up 10 dollars. This
Azrath was sorry, but he respected
his profession too much TO read the
heavens wrong for any man. II was
night time, and he took me out on
a balcony and gave me free view
OF the sky. And he showed me which
Saturn was. and how 10 find il in
different balconies and lOngitudes.
But Saturn wasn't all. He was
only the man higher up. He fur
nishes so much bad luck that they
allow him a gang Of deputy spark
lers 20 help hand IL out. They're
circulating and revolving and hang
ing around the main supply all the
time, each one throwing the hoOdOo
on his own particular district.
You see that ugly little red
,yar about eight inches above and TO
saturn - Kearny asked
me. Well, that's her. That's
Phoebe. She's got me in charge.
by the day of your BIRTH" says
Azrath 10 me, your life is subject
ed 10 the influence of Saturn. BY
the hour and minute Of il YOU must
dwell under the sway and direct au-
thority of Phoebe, the ninth satel-
lite" SO said this Azrath.' Kearny
shook his fist viciously skyward.
Curse her, she's done her work
Well said he. Ever since I was
astrological. bad luck has followed
me like my shadow. as 1 told you.
And for many years before. Now,
captain, I've told you my handicap
as "a man should. If you're afraid
this evil star Of mine might cripple
your scheme, leave me out of it,
II treasured kearny as we'll as 1
could. 1 told him that for the
time we would Danish both astrology
and astronomy from our heads. The
manifest yalOur and enthusiasm of
the man drew me Let US see what
q little courage and diligence will
do against bad luck l said We
Will sail tomorrow for EsperandO.'
Fifty miles down the Mississippi
our steamer broke her rudder. We
sent for "A tug to tow us back and
lost three days When we struck
the blue waters Of the gulf, all the
storm clouds of the Atlantic seemed
to have concentrated above US. We
thought surely to sweeten those
leaping waves with our sugar and
to stack our arms and lumber on
the floor OF the Mexican gulf.
"Rearny did not seek TO cast off
one iota OF the burden of our dan
ger from the shoulders OF his fatal
horoscope. He weathered every
storm on deck. smoking black
pipe. 10 keep which alight rain ana
sea-water seemed but as oil. And
he shook his fist at the black clouds
behind which his baleful star winked
its unseen eye. When the skies
cleared on evening, he reviled his
malignant guardian with grim hui
mOur.
ON watch, aren't you. you red
headed vixen? Out making IL hot
for little Francis Kearny and his
friends. according 10 Hoyle. Twinkle.
twinkle, little devil! You're a lady,