News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1921-09-07
Sunday as MOdernized

An exchange passes this out, which
may have especial reference to someone
you may know:
A few weeks ago noticed that one of
the cousins mentioned the automobile as
subject for discussion and am enclos.
ing copy of what is called the found
chapter of Samson" which might be new
to some of the readers.-A Michiganer.
"On the first day of the week which is
the S bbath, thou shalt get out thy gas
chariot and load thyse)f in and speed thee
away to the uttermost parts of the earth.
Thou shalt cast far from thee all thoughts
of the dear home. church and thy duties
and obligations thou shalt forget. Thou
shalt lay thy religion on the shelf and thy
heart thou shalt do up in napkin and
take it not with thee lest it chide thee on
the way. Thy belly shalt thou take with
thee and buy merchandise for it, ice
cream and soft drinks favored with evil
spirits. Thou shalt feed it we'll for it is
thy God and without it thou wouldst die
and return to dust which thou art. Thou
shalt be honest and pay for the merchan.
disc with the nickels thou highest have
dropped in the contribution box which is
far from thee. Thou shalt speed on
every good road and if the still small voice
tempts thee to return thou shalt drown
the sound thereof with thy muffler. Thou
shall let no thought of thy church worry
thee and let thy Sunday school class be
far from thee, and if thou passeth Christ
on the way, thou are forbidden to ask
Him to ride lest one tender loving look
would cause thy and to tremble and thou
lose control of the steering wheel and thy
journey be upset and thy soul 60 to the
judgement and thy auto to the garage |
and the accounts against thee IN both
places would be large. Thou shalt fill the |
day with hilarity and let no one know
that thou art churchmember. Thou
shalt go boating and fishing and attend |
ball games and other arusements. And
if by chance thou shouldest hear hymn
sung or prayer offered, let it not quicken
thy conscience nor annoy thy SOUL And
when thou hast had thy fill of pleasure
and the holy Sabbath is drawing to a
close, thou shalt HE thyself back to the
home with which thou hast been blessed.
Again thou shalt speed thy car and keep
the declining hours of the day blue with
cigar smoke and burned gasoline. Thou
shalt arrive home little too late to at
tend evening worship in the dear home
church. therefore thou shalt spend the
evening gossiping with thy neighbor.
And when thou layest thy body away to
sleep thou shalt offer up this prayer as
incense to heaven o Lord, we thank
Thee for the fun and folly of this day for
the rapturous excitement and perfect con-
;entment we have had from Thee. For
give us for our short comings and long
yoings. And wilt Thou bless Our dear
pastor who has preached Thy word to Our
empty pew and implored Thy mercy on
our feeting souls. And as we keep him
Door, wilt Thou keep him humble. And
We thank Thee as souls have been speeded
% hell, we have been permitted to speed
;oward Thee on high, And we promise
Thee to attend Thy sanctuary when auto
ng isn't good and Justify will We sing Thy
praise and with tenth of a tenth will we
eplenish Thy treasury. And while Our
pastor is preaching Thy word to sinners,
We will plan another trip; and in the
Meantime, if our souls be the called
% the Eternal home, open wide the pearly
rates for us and let us speed to our abode
With Thee for ever and. ever. Amen"