Polk County news. [volume] (Benton, Tenn.) 191?-1983, 1921-03-03

| people won't take a hint. In order to
keep them off the premises, Sophie
will have to stand at the front gate
with a double-barreled shotgun, and
that would interfere with her house
work.
IF a man marries a woman who
has a string of undesirable relatives,
he should at once take his bride away
from them. Let him board fast train
and travel as far as the rails go, and
then mosey into the brush, and per-
haps he'll escape the wrath to come.
If he camps down in the old home
town, where those relatives are hang
ing out, he is sure to have trouble.
MY third wife was gifted with many
uncles and cousins and brothers and
sisters of the bargain counter kind.
Any six of them would have been dear
at so cents. Before we were married,
/ explained to Maria that l wouldn't
stand for those relatives, and she said
she wouldn't expect me to. She gave
me her word of honor that she wouldn't
have anything to do with them, or let
them have anything to do with her..
and she meant every word she said.
"In those days 1 was poor, and
realized that it would keep me hustling
to keep the wolf away from the door,
without having to provide for any
cousins or aunts. About a month
after we were married, went home
Unexpectedly in the middle of the af-
ternoOn one day, and found my wife
filling q basket with pieces of fried
chicken, and jars of jam, and oranges,
and various expensive things adapted
to the idle rich.
Il asked her what she was going to
do, and she colored up and stammered
around, and finally explained that her
Aunt Rachel was dangerously sick and
she thought it would be a real kind
ness to take her few delicacieS. of
course Maria said L haven't forgotten
my promise, and don't intend to have
anything more to do with my folks
than l can help, but in case of sick
ness the rules should be suspended
I am willing to suspend them to
the extent of q slice of buttered toast
and hard-boiled egg, said. but you
have four dollars worth of victuals in
that basket, and that's rubbing it in
your Aunt Rachel little too strong
so she unloaded most of the things |
she had put in the basket and said /
had no heart, and went away weeping.
Up to that moment our married life }
had been like sunny morning, but
this experience made it cloudy, and our
house never was the same afterwards.
had lost confidence in my wife, and
she had sized me up as tyrant.
THAT Aunt Rachel experience was
merely the beginning. A week or two
later went home furnishing, expecting
to see an uplifting and ennobling sup
per all ready on the table, but there
was nobody at home. The fire was
out, and there was nothing to eat in
sight. l dug up a can of salmon and
some crackers and had heartbreaking
neal.
about nine O'Clock in the evening
ny wife came home, and when / asked
Ter where she had been, she answered
that her Uncle Ebenezer had
'een seriously injured while choppipg
Town tree, and she considered 1t her
Iuty to take care of him. l would have
o get along the best way l could for
day or two, she said, for she was
DING to nurse Uncle Ebenezer. Her
elatives soon found that they could
ave anything they wanted from my
lrder by being invalids, so they took
lrns falling sick, and my wife resolved
erself into an ambulance corps. That
ort of thing couldn't last long, my
riends, and it didn't"