The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1921-03-11

THE president has appointed Colonel George
Barvey a. Ambassador to England. We wish
the hectic colonel good luck but to anyone
who has read his vituperative weekly he seems
the last man in the world to be picked rs
diplomat.
Yes, They Are; Mere So Than Stories.
(Geneseo Corr. The Argus).
Miss Shubkegel, teacher in the junior
high school, told the weekly stories at
the public library Saturday to the girls
and boys Of the second and third grades.
The stories began promptly at 10 o'clock.
The children are very interesting. Forty
children were present.
TAKE it from q headline in the Davenport
Times, proposals presented in London fail to
satisfy the allies and they will now proceed
to collect the amount claimed." We only wish
it were ~ simple as it sounds.
ALL RIGHT az BEG YOUR PARDON,
MADAM"
Sir: Your refusal to use the old collar
button wart story, which was sent ~ test"
Stays the ugly suspicion that anything and
eIything received was used as filler" in
your colyum; but what 1 cawn't understand
you. sir! Il would suggest that you put this
under bedding OF Il beg your pardon.
madam" II may do 50 without oversteppipg
the bounds Of colyum courtesy.
-AWGAWAN.
THIS paragraph Is written to express our
gratitude to and our admiration for J. H. NJ,
who filled out our income tax schedule to the
last horrid detail. at the same time RECALLING
US with choice bits from the repertoire Of a
vaudeville monologist. For perhaps the frst
time in our sinful life We have full appre-
citation Of the phrase, "A friend in need is .
friend indeed"
Tho Extraordinarily Inspired Competitor.
From The Argus).
But simply because you hear Of some
fussy fapper running around with her
boss don't allow yourself to get the no
ton that every girl who works in an
Office is carrying on a clandestine dend-
ship with the man from whom she re-
ceives her salary.
II HAVE always wanted to be 4 newspaper
reporter" writes the divine Clara. After read
ing her preachment written for the United
Press we conclude she 10 mistaken. What she
really wants is the Job Of conducting Heart
and Home" column.
A NATIVE OF THE NEAR YEAST. WILLIE.
Sir: Times have changed. When was q
child (years ago. Of course!) was told that
beer (drinkins) caased (young) people to be-
come stunted or dwarfed. But times have
|changed. according to the following id in The
to have the reverse effect:
NEAR BEER GIANTS AND FIVE ROOMS
of furniture, cheap. 800 Twenty-nrst
street.
Possibly this will be a big find for Ringing
Ior Barroon Bailey sideshows. You see i've
cheap. But say, Mac, what in thunder IL
near beer giant!
BONNER also is curious about the near
hAAA etc - hA - e.
team or q now breed Of rabbits!' We trust
the caption over Willie's contribution will be
ISuflcient answer.
Brnr! No Wonder We Had Chill.
| Orom The Argus).
Miss Icy Teel, sister to Miss Connor
will arrive in Rock Island from Okla
homa to take temporary charge Of the
Conner Beauty shop.
WHAT q splendid companion she would
have made for Mr.. Zero Marx" exclaims Bon.
or, who 10 by way Of being a welcome contrib
He has browsed through our revered parent
sheet, using the scissors with great xusto
Calling our attention to Davie Lawrence's
statement that the president and Mrs. Hard.
ing had their kinfolks for breakfast" he de.
mands the recipe for such dish. Il have" saw
he. n number Of superiuous kinfolks myself,
NO: SHE HAS DISOWNED US.
Sir: The frigid Mr.. Marks wedding VA,
in the Feb. issue Of the Worlds Greates
Newspaper. Don't you recognize your owl
mother, child? BONNER.
SPEAKING Of the ". {. n, We have beer
told that Harvey Woodruff 10 the finest fellow
in the world and would do anything rathel
than hurt . fellow humans feelings Readin,
some of the contributed PONIES in his Wake
We can we'll believe that. Probably friend
ship for Harvey is the only thing that restrain,
B. L. T. from reprinting some Of them q,
i"Pomes You Must Not Miss!"
The Uneenveatisnal OklaAsasaA !.
Ffom U. P. dispatch).
-. The men behind the rail wers
for the most part established business
and professional men, many dressed in
leather boots and iannel shirts.
1.-TWO FIRST-CLASS HOUSEKEEPING ROOMS
Kitchen has sink. range and cabinet, on
sleeping room. Also garage with cemen
floor. 625 Torty-third street.-The Argus.
But isn't the kitchen . bit crowded?
CLARA READY TO GIVE WORLD TER
kIFIC JOLT.'-Pe0ria Star
Brace yourself. world! Brace yourself!
r e. Ma