The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1921-04-22
LOST-BUNCH OF KEYS, WITH NAME
plate L. NJ. Proctor Reward. Call
Main 1890 or Main 5007.

pldtc IOClOI AtCWo4us S04A
Main 1890 or Main 5007.
SINCE friend Rig. has gone so far as to
print the warm-ice wheeZe among his "ther-
mometer tales he ought to run the one about
the hottest place in the world-Yuma, Ariz,
An iniquitous citizen of that town died and
went (Dulcynically speaking) to a warmer eli
mate The second night the poor devil came
back shivering and demanded blanket
BRIEFLY, YES
Sir: l knew a weli-intentioned man whose
limited vocabulary prevented him clothing his
ideas with words that fitted He was telling
liberal in his religious views-apparently q
free-thinker. My informant said, Il think he
is a libertine." -CALL1OPE.
P. S.: Should this be classified under the
ology, etymology Of sociology?
CALLIOPES informant reminds US Of the
famous Mrs. Partington's amusing comparison
of the new and old schools OF medicine She
said-but of course you've heard it.
+, Daisy Ashford Had Nothing On This
Young Authorizes.
From a short story in the Reynolds Press
She sprang from her bed and FASTENED
towards her dresser On catching
glimpse Of a ghost coming toward her.
she tainted away. On awakening she
lOu0Q herself OOuQQ W Luc uOOI OF an
uninhabited hut
WILLARD FILLMORE was the only pres
ident who made no inaugural address. Gosh |!
how the press telegraphers could love a pres
iGent like that.
NO, THANKS; WE WEAR EAR-MUFFS AT
LUNCH COUNTERS.
Sir: l considered your comment on the
musical tea" very inapt Surely you could
never have missed hearing the strains of the
musical tea-or coffee either, for that matter,
as it passed through the whiskers Of the stran-
ger at your elbow in any lunch counter. Never
listened to it,? Bah! Must lend you my
ear trumpet? -ETEOCLES.
OUR heart and soul are in this business of
ours.
We want to make our store one of the SOW
places" Of the town.-Ad in the Roseville GILL
Times Citizen.
Mebbe you can get grunt out Of that.
PARENTS who chide their offspring for Sic
eumbing to the lure Of Jazz and the toddle uu-
til long past the witching hour should be in.
terested in these extracts from an invitation
to dance held in Olathe, Kan, April 8, 1859,
The invitation was printed in the Olathe Mir
TOR in 1909:
as. No gentleman will consider
himself invited unless he receives an in
vitation ticket; and no gentleman will.
be admitted without lady partner
Good music in attendance Supper upon
arrival and at II O'Clock. Breakfast and
horse feed with ticket into the hall.
IS. Liberal reductions made to those
having no horses, ETC."
Going to a dance in those DAYS vas a mat
ter Of moment for which elaborate PREPARATIONS
had to be made. And it was never late till
morning. Our dad fiddled the gay ouadrilles
polkas. schottisches and Rye Waltz many a
night and only the first glints Of dawn brought
the Home. Sweet Home" waltz Them, in n
m. o. s.. was tn happy days.
She Should Have Taken = Nunp-Houpd
With Her.
[From the AnnAwan (nl) Nevs1
Miss Gertrude Everett writes from
Knox, that she has not seen a mumn
since she left Annavan
LOUIS SILVER, Il years old. Of Ra,a;vh
n. C.. can read GA words in one minnie He
reads 30o-page hook in 80 minutes and re-
members what he has read A brilliant fntnre
- book reviewer awaits him. for ha vii no
able to establish the precedent Of reading the
books hsrrssiews.
30 Mr.. Haywood has gone to R,safa Con-
grsss ought to do something about this. We
can't afford to lose our best citizens.
:. SUCH as Pvt Bessdoll frinstance
r r Ma