davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1921-10-23
MAN. MAN, POOR MAN,


A man Is somewhat like a sau-
sage,
Very smooth upon the skin;
But you can never tell exactly
How much hog there is within.
! FLORENCE N. HOAGLAND.
Boggs told his wife that his
friend Virgins, the "octogensrian,"
had retired.
"wcu." she said, 'T hope he
made fortune out OF t."
ii. SMITH.
III and S is the richest. raciest
combination of wit and humor that
ever scintillated I'm a Washington
news. WILL L. WHELAN.
WORD DIAMOND.
TEN
QUEER SIGNS.
In Cleveland, Ohio, the other day,
Bill, observed this shoemaker's
sign:
mems Souls, SI.o0.
Women's Souls, 75c."
~. J. M, NJ
The Washington times., 1921-10-23
HE LOVES THEM ALL.

I am so glad I love them all
'Tis nothing great and nothing small;
And il the girl with golden hair
Is good and modest, sweet and fair, ;,
1 cannot say l love her more
Or less than ones I've loved before.
Gee! I am glad love them all.
She may be short, she may be tall;
She may have sparkling eyes Of
brown,
And long dark braids a-hanging
down;
Yet I'm a man, and men are fools
In wOmen's hands we are but tools.
God bless them ALL love them
all
In summer, winter, spring and fall.
The brunette, auburn, blonde-haired
miss
Have each given me a world of
bliss.
That's why / say love them all
'Tis nothing great, or nothing small.
BOB SHRIER.
The Washington times., 1921-10-23
NAME THIS CLUB.

Friend Eddie" and self. n beln' two
lively critters, forever cravin' excite
ment and darin'-ln fact we're dad durn
fools over such-have conceived the idea
of oryaRilin' q club for single men, to
meet once every month (preferably the
18th, providin' there ore thirteen days
in tho month-otherwise, we will meet
on tho 1tth). The club members viii
rush In promptly at S;S3h d. IN. stimuli
taneously everybody will begin ten
minute clog dance. At the sound OF a
pin dropped 90 the floor by the presl-
dent, all feet will stop clogEin' and
all hands will begin whistlin' for ten
minutes, keepin' time by an up-an'- down
motion caused by bendln' the leg slightly
at the knee (bcndin' OF same above or
below the knee will posolutely not be al
Iowed). The "scttIn' OFF, OF a brick o.
dynamite under the door mat will be the
signal TO cease whistlin' -; then "all
hands" will begin sneerin' and continue
with increasln' violence until the presi-
dent sneeres out his false teeth. IAN
hands" will then encircle IA large table
and "Iook solemn" A box, containIn'
an ivory tooth for each member, In
cIudin' one gold tooth, will be then
pthCeu on rnlu tHbto tthlu bOx 10 rest
firmly on said table and not allowed TO
remain suspended a fraction of an inch
in the not aforesaid aIr). Each member
will then draw n toothj the one drawin'
the gold "toofio" will bloat three times
like a billy goat and proceed TO q lit
tie booth. which will be purposefy pro-
vided for the occasion, whore he will COM
mitt suicide by tskln' gas 20 the tune
Of IAN by Myself" played by n Victor,
which will be automatically turned on
with the gas, while the balance (or un-
balanced, rather) OF the members Join in
with hysterical laughin', screamIn' and
yippin'. While II IL not thought likely
that such n clause will ever become pop-
uiar with the members, we will never
theless insert one in the obligation
whereby the victim might side-step sui
eide (should II appear distasteful to
him), thus deprivln' tho other members
Of such q thrill. and asreo 70 marry
within thirty daysi however, should he
choose tho latter course. the meetin' viii
be brought to q close by ten minute. Of
violent weepln. wsilin' m gnashin' Of
false teeth.
We want you for president. Bill, 80
hustle In some members an get rood
name for the Club-eome name that win
HAMPERS rERsy.
The Washington times., 1921-10-23
IF WE ONLY KNEW.

II knew . boz where the smiles are
kept,
No matter how large the key
Or strong the bolt, I would try SO hard
T'would open. I know. for mo.
Then over the land and sea broadcast
I'd scatter the smiles to play,
That the children's faces might hold
them fast
For many and many q day.
m knew y boy that wa. large enough
To hold all the frOwns I meet
I would like TO gather them every one,
Prom nursery, school md street
The folding and holding, I'D pack
them IN
nv turning the monster kcy.
Then hire n giant 20 drop the bor
To the depths Of the deep, deep sea.
FI|6REACE n. noA0x~AAns
The Washington times., 1921-10-23
DAD DOESN'T LIKE AUTOS.

Dad doesn't like automobiles, L often
hear him say
He'd rather hRys an old timo rig 10
drive most any day.
And yet I always notice whom we leave
our bungalow
To ride In Uncle Jin,'s machine, Dad
never falls to 20.
Dod doesn't like automobiles, he always
speaks Of them
As vile contraptions gotten up TO murder
aged men,
And vet I've seen him cross the street
and never lift his eyes,
While autos darted 20 and fro as thick
as summer flies.
Dad doesn't like automobiles, he says
they 70 so fast,
You can't inspect the women folks and
cattle whlgginE past,
Yet when somo feiloS on the road
tmayines we are slow
It's Filing the brakes wide open Jim.
and let the critter co."
In fact, there's nothing 6ow 70 Dad,
no matter what he says,
He's not bit old fashioned In his man
ners or his ways,
Il think he knocks the auto n the truth
were really known,
Because he hasn't sot an automobile Of
WILL r. WMEIAH
The Washington times., 1921-10-23
GIVING HIM A NAME.

(This one has Travelled far and
wide, but is always good enough
for a fat SMILEY
She ransacked every novel,
And the dictionary, too,
But nothing ever printed
For her baby's name would do;
She hunted appellatiOns
From. the present and the past,
And this Is what she named him
When they christened him at
last:
Julian Harold Egbert
Ulysses Victor Paul
Algernon Marcus Cecil
Sylvester George McFall.
But after all the trouble
He'd taken for his sake
His father called him Buster
And his schoolmatcs called him
Jake.
SALLY ANN.
The Washington times., 1921-10-23
TOAsTING THE OLD COLUMN.

Every timo 1 read your column
Tn reminded of the toast:
''Here's to all who are here,
No matter where you're from.
May the very best day that you've
seen
BE worse than the worst to come"
You are much-sought JOY
spreader. BILLY KILLY.
The Washington times., 1921-10-23

HIGH-CLASS MUSIC.

Little Harriet. in another room.
was singing in a squeaky voice.
You mustn't sing so high" her
mother called.
I'm gotta sing high" was the
answer. TITS Twinkle, Twinkle
Little Star" MILTON JETT.
The Washington times., 1921-10-23
THE REASON WHY.

A noted athlete was in a great de-
mand,
Having gained prowess all through
the land.
He filled with CONSERVATION,
At his wondrous rejuvenation,
Since he had inserted simian gland.
H. SMITH.
The Washington times., 1921-10-23
HOW 1T ENDED.

Two young feilers began to fight.
One had . bottle, the other had none,
And that's the way the quarrel begun.
"Gimme y drink" said the taller chap.
"LosEo that bottle or IN give ya . rap
Long side your ear and push In your
mug"
Then . cop came along and they went
to the jug.
The Washington times., 1921-10-23
ANOTHER WAY OF GETTING
A PERSONS AGE.

Write the number of the month
you were born in Tor have some boy
or girl write their own; add two
zeroes CEx.: 9th month, 900). Multi
ply by two. Take number OF birth
date; double IL Ex.: Oct. ls, az
Add this to the sum of first and
then multiply by so. Add your age.
The result will be: The first figure
or figures is the number Of the
month you were born in, the next
the dato of your birth, and the last
your age. DONALD BELLMAN,
Mt. Rainier, Nd
The Washington times., 1921-10-23
Grandma Tompkins says:
"The girls Of today wash their
knee caps more than the girls
of old" I. III. T.

When prohibition came, many
California grape growers were think
ing Of destroying their vineyards
and turning to something else. This
year the growers will get about
$4,000, 900 for their crop.
EAMON o S.
The Washington times., 1921-10-23

IL beats me how they tells ya
there's n better place beyond"
and, by heck, when va gets sick
they pray and carries on sumpin'
orful tryin' to keep va right here.
PEANUTS.
The Washington times., 1921-10-23
SURE 1T Is.

The name OF lively girl I see.
She Is now looking ut us.
Do you know who she may be?
Why, yes, tits SAL Il. RhTUS.
III. SMITH.
The Washington times., 1921-10-23
THE "PAINT"FUL TRUTH.

The parson preached on Sunday morn
That none should kiss on that day.
Or else there'd be on them n taint
Big and black. and sure 10 stay.
That same evening In the park.
jack and Betty spooned quite long.
but the bench was newly painted, co.
The parsons color scheme went
wronEt
BARyARD.
The Washington times., 1921-10-23

They've discovered a moon
shine factory thirty feet under
ground. Long ago II was stated
that "Still waters run deep"
EAMON o 8.
The Washington times., 1921-10-23
CALLING CONTRIBS
CHESTNUT" GROWERS

HoU any full-gro,on person in
full possession of has or her senses
cdn read such junk as appears in
Heard and Seen is more than can
understand. Most of us appreciate
a bit of htntor tohen Ue see it, but
defy any one to detect anything
tn II o,d S that even remotely
savors of hun,or.
The self-stylei contribs are a
bunch of chestnut" grotoers, and
they don't mind forcing their
todres on a bong suffering public.
Doggote yosl, Bill, / dare you to
print this, but / am taking the
precaution Of giping 1t fond
Gdieu as 1t starts on its 10dy to tho
tOdste basket.
your junk Is about as funny rs
the income tup, so give Il the air.
Toss pour Heard e Seen and all
the blunkety-blank contribs in the
Tidal Basi't, and you will obRge,
DINGBAT.
"DINGBAT" is q gent who tried
TO get some OF his own wit and
humor" into the column and IL went
to the Goat, which has been sick
ever since.
just the other day . writer who
never contributes to the Column,
but Is n great admirer Of Il, wrote
that the contributors to the g. o. @.
are the brightest bunch In tho
United States, and that's true.
It's traditional that every good
thing occasionally runs against q
crouch and sore-head. When it's q
case Of "plain sour-grapes," what's
the use botheringf
The Washington times., 1921-10-23
CEST LA MODE.

Proud Mother-Oh, Lord Du
Tellem, did you see anything Of
my daughter at the dance?
Distinguished Mother - Ma
dame, I should say i did.
OIDONO.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1921-03-24
EPISODE q.

THE court papers continue that
"Mr. and Mrs. Leeds were well
known by sight to many of the ten
ants in the apartment house at "a
East Seth street during January,
1918"
Mrs. Leeds was of course, Florence
Of the Century chorus, and Leeds,
according to Frank Ivens' affidavit,
and that of Sophie Erickson. a maid,
was James A. Stillman, Jr., vice pres
ident and director of the National
City Bank.
They kept their tongues, they say,
because; well, what was the use?"
Then came March, and the death
of James A. Stillman. the father of
Jim.
In two weeks after the death of
James Stillman the son was made
chairman of the board of directors
and note paper of the National City
Bank read: "James Alexander Still
man, vice president" Frank Van
derlip, however, retained his hold.
During this summer Mrs. Leeds re-
mained in retirement at Rest Court,
Stony Beach, L. L. in a handsome
villa rented from Pitts Duffield, mil
Gonaire sportsman of New York.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1921-03-24
CITY CALLS 60 In
WIDOWS SUIT
Damage Case Of Mrs.
Winchester On Trial
In CITY Court

The damage suit of Mrs. G. R..
Winchester against the city of Amer
icus, in which she seeks to recover
$4,000 as a result of the city grad
ing down the sidewalk elevation in
front of her property in Brooklyn
Heights in 1915, came to trial in
city court this morning for the
second time. In 1915 1t was tried,
but the jury was unable to agree and
mistrial was declared. At that
time E. A. Nisbet was city attorney
and ]. A. nixon was employed by
the city as associate counsel. Judge
Hixon is again associated with the
case, assisting City Attorney Lane.
w. P. Wallis is handling the case
for Mrs. Winchester. In the previ-
Gus case her husband, the late c. R.
Winchester, a member of the Amer
icus bar, was living and assisted in
the trial of the case.
1t is the contention of Mrs. Win
chester that her property, consisting
10 acres fronting on McGarrah
street, was damaged to the amount
asked when the city street force re-
graded the street and lowered the
sidewalk from the lot level to the
street level. She was the first wit
ness of the day and H. W. Smith
wick, her neighbor, the second.
The city's defense in the action is
that the regarding of the street and
lowering Of the sidewalk, with the
accompanying shaping up of the
front of the lot, actually enhanced
the value of the property instead of
decreasing its value, and about 60
prominent citizens of Americas, con-
Versant with real estate and property
values, were summoned as witnesses
to give testimony to this effect. 1t
was not expected the case could be
finished today, and might require all
of Friday
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1921-03-24
EPISODE 6

WINTER came and passed, and
" 1919 found Stillman engaged in
a bank battle to attain the presi-
dency of the institution, then held
by Frank Vanderlip.
Suddenly Vanderlip resigned with
out giving any reason, and Stillman
was Immediately named as president
of the National City Bank. The
craftsmanship of the board of direc-
tors, the only position that rivaled the
PRESIDENCY was left open Stillman
won it.
1t was commented on at the birth
Of Guy Stillman that his name had
not been given a place in the Social
Register and that when Stillman was
asked by that publication 20 attest
by his signature that the boy was
his child, he refused to do so, offer
ing no explanation.
Mrs. Leeds, however,. rode out
daily in her new Pierce-Arrow car.
calling on personal friends, say the
atfidavits, exhibiting her baby proud
ly to some, cautiously to others.
The name of little Jay Leeds did
not, of course, reach the Social Reg
ister, despite the affluence and
friendship of Stillman, because Mrs.
Leeds was not of society
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1921-03-24
EPISODE TWO

Eight years later, in 1915, it was
"a generally known that young
Jim" Stillman spent much of his
time at his clubs. Old newspaper
clippings limited that rift had come
between him and his talented wife.
There were no denials, only "refus-
ais to- talk" In 1916, "Jinr' Still
man met Florence Helene Leeds of
the Chicken chorus"
She was called along Broadway
"The girl with the violet eyes" and
she appeared nightly in "The Cen
tury Girl" New York's largest femi-
nine spectacle. Her afther was an
East Side plumber, poor but highly
respectable. A song writer "discov-
ering" that ''Flo'' could dance "di-
vinely," introduced her to the Cen
tury management.
A year later, say the papers, "Flor-
ence became weary of The Century
Girl and of chorus life in general.
She told friends the show was not
going. we'll; that she still retained
but minor part.
For a time she attended rehear-
sails, and then suddenly she appeared
at the theater in Rolls-Royce, garb-
ed in pure mink, and said to friends
that she was flirting with straight
tips on the curb market and making
heaps of money So. she resigned.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1921-03-24
3 Warrants Against
! Bivins Are Dismissed

Mack Bivins, whose dispute over a
(negro laborer with T. |. Webb and
sons, near Sumter, resulted in peace
bond proceedings in Justice Carter's
court here Tuesday, in which he was
placed under $400 bond to keep the
peace. asked The Times-Recorder
Thursday to state that three war.
rants taken against him by Clyde
Webb, charging assault with intent
to murder three negro farm hands.
were dismissed by Justice Carter.
This fact had not been stated, no
mention of the fact that these war
rants having been taken being pub
lished.
Mr.. Bivins declared to The Times
Recorder that he was a law-abiding
citizen, not accustomed to have trou-
BILE with his neighbors, and that ''if
the white men had sworn to the truth
like those negroes on the stand no
peace bond would have been assessed
against me-" He said he was anx-
ious that the public which does not
know him personally does not get
a wrong opinion of him as a result
of this case.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1921-03-24
COTTONPLANTlNG
Gets UNDER WAY.
N. A. Ray Not To Use
Pound OF Guano
This Year

Cotton planting has been under
way on some of the farms of Sum-
ter county this week, although not
generally started
Il began the. first of the week and
would have finished this week if it
hadn't rained," said N. A. Ray to-
day. Il am planting the same acre
age of cotton as last year--one hun
dred acres out of 400-but will not
use a pound of guano. Cotton is
cheap and with big carry-over crop
it is going to continue cheap, and
| am going to make a cheap crop.
don't look for a price of even 8
cents for the next crop, and we will
have to make cotton cheaper than
that price to break even. got 80
bales last year off my 100 acres, and
/ expect to get at least so bales this
year without guano:' | have prepar-
ed the ground thoroughly, and ex-
pect to make up in cultivation a
large share of what l have left out
in fertilizer However, my land is
in good condition, as | have not al
lowed it to run down, having raised
peas and velvet beans and plowed the
crop under on lareg part of the
acreage.
Fertilizer men report an outlook
for sales of only about 40 per cent
of last year. Cotton acreage will be
reduced in Sumer county, and with
greatly decreased use of guano, the
cotton yield should show big de-
crease over last year.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1921-03-24
EPISODE S
II IJVJDL ,
ESE1FI" POTTER STILLMAN e

80 LII PUIIER SIlLLMAN en-
tertained, Iavishly at the Still
man home in Pocantico Hills, but it
was observed that Mr.. Stillman at
tended these functions rarely. if at
all.
Autumn came and both women re-
turned to their respective homes in
town.
Stillman divided his time almost
equally, say the affidavits. between
his wife and Mrs Leeds.
Fred Beauvais, the half-breed
guide, left New York and returned
to Montreal. He opened an insur-
ance office in the Canadian city.
On Sept. II, 1918, Jay Leeds" Z"
sworn to officially as the son. of
Harold and Florence Leeds, was born
in the E. Seth street apartment. DR..
James Ogilivie, noted surgeon, signed
the birth certificate, although he
added the note that he was not the
attending physician.
Exactly two months later at the
Stillman home, "Fifi" Potter Still
man gave birth to Guy Stillman. The
birth certificate said that Anne
Urquhart and James Alexander Still
man were it's parents.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1921-03-24
BICHAM COESTO
TRLALASSLAYER
OF FIVE OF KIN
Crime Laid On Brother
By Former Americus
Man

FLORENCE, S. c., March "a
Edmund Bigham, son of former
state senator and formerly of Ameri-
Gus, Ga. went on trial here today,
charged with murder as the result of
the death of his mother, brother and
sister and two adopted children of
ne latter, a few weeks ago. The de-
~ense indicated Bigham would at
mpt to prove the killing was done
Dy his brother, who then committed
suicide.
The court room was packed when
the trial started Judge Memminger
over-ruled a motion for a continu-
ance
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1921-03-24
EPISODE. ONE.


IS I" STILLMAN, as he was known
- in 1901, married society's deb
utant beauty, Anne Urquhard Pot
ter, in Grace Church, on June of
that year.
1t was the crowning social event
of that season. Gossips freely pre-
dicted that the couple would soon
part because, as they expressed it,
their tastes were identically alike.
These prophets of grief reminded
each other than Jim and Anne be-
longed to the outdoor set of whirl-
wind sport, and that each boasted in
dependence of thought, purpose and
action.
Jim was a Harvard man who had
been pitcher of the Varsity nine, win
ner of the single scull race on the
Charles river, and later quarterback
on the Harvard team which beat Yale
l8 to 0.
Anne was an auburn-haired beau
ty with the blood of her impetuous
actress-mother stirring in her veins,
an equestrienne of note. tennis
player and breeder of pedigreed
dogs. Both were fond of saying
they were unconventional, that they
adored hunting and that they were
fond of children.
Two years after their marriage a
daughter, Anne, was born to them.
Upon their return to New York,
James Stillman entered the employ
of the National City Bank as a clerk
His father was president of the insti-
tuition. His college training, his abil-
lty to think and act wisely at a criti-
cal moment, together with his faith.
er's powerful influence, served to
promote young Stillman.
In 1914, then, James was seen to
be steadily advancing toward the
position of bank head. 1t was re-
membered that his family was linked
with the Rockefellers through mar
riage.
But between the mantle of his
father and himself the powerful
figure of Frank A .VanderIip, erst-
while reporter who developed into a
mighty figure in world finance, stood
guard.
Meanwhile Mrs. Stillman, still d
society favorite, attraced more at
tention than when she had been fet-
ed as plain Fiji Potter. In the Epis-
copal Church, where her young hus-
band was a deacon and Sunday
school teacher, she was the recog-
mezd leader of ultrasmart bazaars.
She came into marked prominence
when on several occasions she ap-
peared in classic poses at public ex-
hibitions, her tall, erect figure and
Grecian profile causing much COM
ment in the press of the day.
In 1917 it was whispered about
that Stillman, Sr., was keeping a
sharp lookout on his son. The faith
er was then not only president of
the bank but chairman of the board
of directors. Fiji" Stillman was
still favorite in society.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1921-03-24

100000 and. require the services of
more than 5000 men, it was stated
today before the Railroad Labor
board by B. NJ. Jewell, in presenting
the labor side of the controversy over
rules and agreements, He said that
much of this enormous expense on
both the railroad management ana
railroad labor should be eliminated by
cooperation of the two groups
through the creation of conference
committee.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1921-03-24
EPISODE 2

HN' JUNE, IJZU, society was sud-
"a denly startled by the publication
Of two anonymous letters, one being
an answer to the other. A society
journal surrounded these letters
with question marks, and they were
traced to the Stillman home.
Pinned down by swarm of re-
porters, Mrs. Stillman issued state
ment in which she said simply that
both letters were hers and that they
had been stolen from wall safe in
her room.
Immediately after the first two
letters had been published Stillman
started secret action for divorce
against his talented wife, He denied
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1921-03-24
GERMAN PRISON FOR
RERCDOII PURSUERS,

Mosbach, Baden, March 23.-CarI
Neuf and Franz thinner, American
detectives have been sentenced to
fifteen months and six months, re-
spectively in prison for attempting
to arrest and abduct Grover c. Berg
doll, American draft evader in Eber-
bach last January.
The four Germans who were tried
as accomplices of the Americans
were found guilty and sentenced to
all for terms of five to eleven
months.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1921-03-24
CZECHO-SLAYS
ALARM AUSTRIA

VIENNA, March 24.-,By the AS
soclated Press. )-Rumors that
Czecho Slovak troops have been con-
centrated on the Austrian frontier
have caused a panicy feeling here,
IN view of internal political condi.
tions in the Austrian republic. Its
asserted in certain circles that the
military activity of Czecho Slovakia
is due to a marked recrudescenee of
the movement for fusion with Ger
many since the unsatisfactory results
of the Chancellor Mayors London
mission become known.