davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1921-05-18
X. MILLER
HIS EDITORIAL
RENT DUKES

Residents OF swell up
town apartment crack into
public print by rendering
landlord testimonial ban
quet.
Sounds goopy. 'Tis.
Full courses of every
thing served. starting of
with poisoned olives.
Instead of leaving in
taxicabs, guests depart in
ambulance>. Everything as
happy as flag fluttering at
half stan.
Tenants invite fat old
landlord to wine and dine
with them aboard his dizzy
roofgarden where every
thing is expensive and
stylish.
Guy Who has had
busted kitchen spigot for
seven months engages rent
taker In conversation while
sapp whose dining room
ceiling is hanging by hair,
pours wood alcohol into
the drinking tumbler.
Business OF landlord go
ing blind and experiencing
sensation of living in an
apartment where all the
lights go out regularly.
Worst thrill on earth is
to be honor guests at
love feast where everybody
hates you like misery loves
company.
Load him TO ears with
home brew and then charge
him with every thing In
the landlord and tenant
code.
He'll be so poisoned with
domestic-made hootch all
he'll be able to say Is:
"Zat's right"
The neighbors will glad
ly testify he incriminated
himself while in a superior
condition.
Send him home with a
headache that would split
Statue of Liberty and then
turn on all the apartment
victorlas.
Everybody send him
collect telegram telling
him they are going to move
at end OF the month.
Import some domestic
wsterbugs and watch them
do battle with the kitchen
kslsomine.
when you've done all the
damage possible to the old
clim dwelling. lock the door
on the inside and leave for
keApA
The Washington times., 1921-05-18
ROSSELL,S CRYPTOGRAM.

ROSSELL'S CRYPTOGRAM.
H. B. ROSSELL'S cryptogram OF
few days ago was promptly deci-
phered by wise fans, who express
interest in such problems and would
like more. "OLD TIMER" promises
one soon that will be a pippin. The
decoded message, as found by the
fans, was:
'I AM COMING TO NEW YORK
NEXT SATURDAY. MEET ME
AT THE STATION AT $3.50 p. NJ.
WANT TO GIVE YOU SOME
GOOD THINGS THAT HAVE AP-
PEARED IN HEARD AND SEEN.
YOU DID NOT ANSWER MY
QUESTIONS IN MY CARD THAT
IWRoTE YOU MONDAY. HOPE
you HAVE NOT BEEN SICK"
"OLD TIMER" remarks that "any
cryptogram In which the text is In
plain English, with the same symbol
standing for given letter at all
times, Us quickly decipherable
Other correct answers are from r
CHARLES, GEORGE FENWICK,
"OUvIDOR," F. w. D., M. B. HAz-
ARD, "BEELZEBUB," SUNBEAM,
JOE M. JACKSON, BRIDGEPORT"
and "EvERLASTIC."
F. w. d. says the "decoding was
accomplished by Poe's method. as
described in his immortal short
story, The Gold Bug"
H. B. Rossell found the puzzle OF
"BINGO" to contain, in the various
columns, these words: bill Price,
heard. seen. all the way" He also
gives the answer to the sentences
submitted by "SICK L. PEAR"
The Washington times., 1921-05-18
ErIouETCE OF OLD.

ETIQUETTE OF OLD.
In looking through an old book the
other day, l found this, under the
Golden Rules Of Etiquette:
Gentlemen should stand at
dinners until the ladies are
seated. Then they should seat
themselves, being careful that
THEIR CHAIRS DO NOT STAND
ON THE DRESSES OF THE
LADIES'"
Swell chance OF such q mishap
these days, I'll say! us 2B.
The Washington times., 1921-05-18
SALOON kEEPER's EPITAPH.
ssTHis is On Me-
EDISON is oNTo THIS.

or all the questions pro and con.
which may yet be propcunded;
I'll tell you one thing Edison In on,
so do not be the least sstounded.
IL IN that one query, old but true,
That has niled many with despair.
And I don't mind telling you it's
what IN the whichness OF the where
II. SMITH
The Washington times., 1921-05-18
WorTyingAbOut
Sinful World

clSed over puzzllng prODlem.
A twelye-year-old boy persists in
sobbing and crying during class
hours. When asked the reason for
his distress, he replies:
"The presence Of SO much sin
in the world"
The boy is said to be bright enough
in his studies, but he never mixes
with the other pupils in the school
yard.
Doubtless this is no more than
curious freak of morbidity, but it is
typical of a quite common phenome-
non among us all.
For, have you never worried about
the worldi
One way or another we have all, at
times, and in certain moods, got the
universe upon our shoulders and
have been nightly afraid we'd
drop it..
Our earnest forefathers were quite
sure the majority of the race was
rushing into the fires of eternal pun
ishment. and exercised themselves
frantically to pluck here and there
a brand from the burning.
Not only the old lady at the board
ing house folds up her newspaper,
wipes her glasses, and exclaims:
"Well, I declare. / don't know what
we're all coming to!"
Statesmen as well as Senators and
political spokesmen are given more
these days to viewing with alarm
than to pointing with pride.
The ponderous editor vies with the
excited soap-box orator in showing
us we are on the verge.
Preachers and literary folk dem
onstrate that ruin is just ahead.
In fact, good part of the energy
of our instructors and entertainers
seems to be devoted to soaring the
-dayhghts out of US.
Meanwhile the world goes lumber
ing on. The ocean heeds the apos-
ltrophe of w. S. Gilbert:
Never you mind-rol on!'
Little children are playing marbles
I'm the street, the cook is busy peel.
ing potatoes, the young lady and
her June-spice are holding hands
an the parlor, pa is busy selling nails
lat the hardware store and grandma
Us knitting on the front porch.
Only here and there one of us gets
heated up in our mind and feels the
world is wobbling
What of it! Suppose we bang
into comet tomorrow Suppose the
Bolsheviks blow us up and the
Japanese grab the pieces, and the
trusts and capitalists devour us, and
all the labor unions STRIKE. and the
baby chokes on quarter, and the
-Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse
come lOping over the hill, and there's
a panic, and the end Of the world
comes. the fifteenth of next month
and the devil flies away with us!
What are you going to do about
it!
In spite of our fits of despair the
world is getting better all the time.
The poorest among us have comforts
and luxuries that even kings did not
have few years ago.
God is attending to the universe.
And even if you don't believe in
God, you must admit that You are
not running it.
Time stalks on. Evolution con-
tinues to evolve. Destiny has its
own plans, and is mighty close
mouthed about them.
All our life is an adventure. No
hodv oufsida IF tho Urovayord is
The Washington times., 1921-05-18
At Grips With
.EUiL Fortune

.RRICHAEL j. BOWLING died in
M Olivia, Mimi, the other. day
leaving good estate and a
name so honored among men that he
may be called an :exemplar Of
courage,
Born in extreme poverty, Bowling
began to earn his living when twelve
years old. Caught in aNblizzard when
he was fifteen, his arms and legs were
SO frozen that all had to be ampu-
tated to save his life.
While he lay in his hospital bed
the. boy planned ways in which to
combat his cruel fate. His hands
and feet were gone, but the brain
was still there, and with unbroken
spirit he began the task of training
the one faculty with which he might
still struggle with the world. He
acquired enough elementary educa-
tion to fit him to teach district
school, and followed that occupation
long enough to earn the money that
put him through college.
Equipped with artificial members,
he entered the business world of his
native town, and manifested an apti-
tude for business that finally made
him president of a bank and leader
in all works of public spirit. He of
all men might have for an epitaph
Henley's stirring lines:
"In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not WINGED nor cried aloud,
Beneath the bludgeonings Of chance
My head is bloody but unbowed."
This man, who SO gallantly wrest-
ed from life so much of the good
which a cruel fortune had denied
him, gave freely and unstintingly OF
time and money for the alleviation
of those brave men who in the great
war suffered mutiliations like his
own.
AS a citizen-and sorely handi-
capped citizen at that-he did his
best to make up for the callous in
difference of our Government, and
many of our people, to the destitute
condition of youths crippled in war.
He spent many days in hospitals
cheering up hopeless soldiers who
had suffered only one-quarter of the
amputations he had endured.
This individual example should
shame the lawmakers who are split.
ting straws while our wounded vet
Grams starve. But it should also be
an encouragement and a call to eff
fort and self-advancement among
those whom accident or the fortunes
of war have left crippled in the
battle with the world.
A man totally blind from early
youth, who nevertheless attained the
honorable station of United States
Senator, was accustomed to say that
he owed it all to the courage of a
mother who would never permit him
to use his blindness as an excuse for
not doing things. The method was
heroic, but the end attained proved
it's efficiency.
Adversely stoutly grappled with
not infrequently proves the path to
fortune. Life stories such as these
merit wide publicity for the en-
couragement and aid they furnish
to others who have handicaps that
seem to them insurmountable.
The Washington times., 1921-05-18
We TOWNE GOSSIP
Registered U. 8 Patent ofnc~
X. C.. B.
By K. c. B.

z AND ONE of the
others.
WAS A middle-aged
man.
OF QUITE some size.
AND A cropped
mustache.
| AND MORE or less
7 fierce.
IN A facial way.
AND THE little blond
girl.
LOOKED AT this
AND HEsITATED.
AND THEN went by.
AND THE fierce
looking man.
WORE A hungry look.
AS THE child stood
there.
A HUNGRY look.
THAT sOFTENED
his face.
AND LIGHTED
something.
IN HIS dark brown.
eyes.
AND MADE me wish
THAT THE little
blond girl.
WOULD SMILE on
him.
AND SO she did.
AS SHE passed again.
AND HE picked her
AND PRESSED her
close.
AND SET her down.
AND A little bit
frightened.
SHE HURRIED away.
AND IN his eyes.
LEFT a flash Of tears,
AND THAT was all.
THANK you.
The Washington times., 1921-05-18

Nellie-why are two dogs that race
aftersa cat like my daddy's trousers:
Billie-Because they are a pair of
pants. JULES b.
The Washington times., 1921-05-18
THE sun sroT sCRAP.

question for Edison:
when the san gets spots On II do
they use Old Dstch Cleanser 10 re-
nSve then or DO they send the su"
to the eleanerss
II . cleaner charges &1.So fer re-
nSving the spsts freD . cheap suit
Of clothes how much wsuld be
charged Ter remsviaG the sSots over
IN ares Of 600 niles wide and 7SIooO
mica 1ongs
To my mind the best scientists of
the day are those who write for X
and s. Our scientists write under
standable stuff. Now here's tn,
weather bureau and the astronomers
scrapping over whether sun spots
control the weather, the aurora
borealis and other things. We are
solemnly assured that we will con-
tinue to have weather regardless Of
the sun, and that the sun is not now
near as spotty as she was few days
ago.
They say these spots are due to ges
formations. You can't be surprised
in view OF the amount of gas spilled
lately by EINSTEIN and others over
things they know nothing about II
they keep on the gas. may cover the
sun entirely. DIR. S. SPOT.
The Washington times., 1921-05-18

THE ULTIMATE CONSUMER
A good many contributions to
the G.. o. c. intended for public
consumption pass to the o. c..
which Is the ultimate consumer.
FRED VETTER.
The Washington times., 1921-05-18

OUR LITTLE group. :
IN THE Pullman car.
HAD BEEN travelling
on.
FOR HALF a day.
AND TRYING to
figure.
WHO THE others
were.
AND WHERE they
were going. r
.
AND WHISPERING
about them.
\ AND GETTING -.
settled.
FOR THREE long
days.
AND SHOWING no
signs.
OF FRIENDLINEss.
WHICH SENSIBLE
travellers.
ALWAYS DO.
UNTIL THEY know.
OR THINK they
know.
~ q
WHO ARE the pests.
AND WHO are not.
AND ANYWAY.
WE'D BEEN going
along.
AND IN the middle.
OF ThE afternoon.
A LITTLE blond girl.
Of ABOUT four yesrs
HAD GROWN so
restless.
SHE COULDN'T sit
still.
AND HAD started out
TO LOOK us all over.
AND SMILED on
some Of us.
AND PASSED others
by.
The Washington times., 1921-05-18

Heaven on Earth-The man who
owns and controls his own job.
Just the Opposite-The man who
does not PHILIP EBERT,
The Washington times., 1921-05-18
SAY 1T SOFTLY.

We want car fare at 5 cents q trip.
And " the merger squeezes out the
water
Well buy like good old days by hip.
The checks at six for a quarter.
JOHN RIGGLES.
The mirror., 1921-08-11
ALASKAN TOTEM POLES SPHINX
OF WESTERN WORLD

The totems of the Pacific coast, both in
the United States and Canada, carry one,
viewing them, back to old Egypt For
the totem is the sphinx of the Western
world. Here in these curious carvings
East and Far West meet. You travel far
to see the totem just as one travels for to
look into the face of the sphinx and to
speculate on each mummied figure from a
Pharaoh's grave. Indeed, the individual
figures of these totems strongly resemble
in carvings and rich barbaric colorings
the mummy cases preserved in the desert.
Alert bay, in Northern Vancouver
island, may be taken as the center of the
totem country, the figures struggling south
from there to Seattle and north into Alas
ka. AT Alert bay the totem lines the sea-
side highway skirting 'the bay" stands
nonchalantly on the little balconies of the
Siwash homes, ,wanders off into the grave
yard, in the speech-pole invades the coun
Gil chambers of the tribe, and in the IL
pIdTy VI lIne tcllS OF race OF VIKINGS,
hunters, warriors of the olden times.
AS you stand gazing at the totem pole
you are carried away on wave of won
der and speculation about the men who
carved these figures. And about their
patrons demanding such art. For what
ever these totems may be in the way of
history, legend and family lineage, they
are most certainly great works of art.
None but a great soul lptor could have
chiseled so sure and strong line. None
but colorist of the highest order could
have used color so sparingly and yet so
well, in support of the carving.
All of these things impress the visitor.
We wonder what tools could have cut so
clean and sharp an edge. One feels in
stinctively that fire was not called to aid
here as it was to hollow the giant British
Columbia cedar into the kayak. In land
of no steel, one might perhaps say in an
age of no steel, how did these rude chill
dren of the "misty islands" execute these
strange carvings?
The chief figures are "the thunderbird,"
the whale, the bear, the kingfsher." The
The mirror., 1921-08-11

the artist has carved true, to judge by the
eye of both jockey and seahorse, this is
glorious, wild, elemental "derby" to the
death. Both know that death is the
"purse," but both are so fired by the ad-
venture that to live in this one moment
is to live lifetime, and the end may take
care of itself.
How do we know that the man won?
By two incontrovertible signs. First, he
had this totem carved; and second, if you
go over into the graveyard you will see
quiet mound that marks a grave and over
it in almost life size is the painted figure
of a mournful whale. All the spirit and
vim gone out of him-a horse without a
master to ride him.
Speaking of the graveyards, it is only
lately that these coastal Indians have had
burying ground. Before that it was
customary to employ tree burials. The
dead body, placed in an old trunk, was
carefully lashed high among the branches
the woods was set apart for these aerial
burials. And no doubt in early times the
reasons for using these unique "graves"
were good. To dig grave for a people
almost wholly without implements would
have been a task indeed. And the body
up tree was safer from wild animals
than shallow grave. But now that these
conditions no longer obtain a conventional
"God's acre" and religious use thereof has
been prescribed by the Indian department
of the Canadian government Soon visit
ors to Alert bay will no longer be able to
walk through the woods with the posi-
bility of stepping on human bone, or hav-
ing one fall as you pass.
The community house too is now almost
thing of the past. Not more than one or
two still survive. These are interesting in
that they consist of one large room in the
center of which on the ground is the
hearth; the smoke escaping through hole
in the roof. Potlaches are now out of
bounds. When they were in vogue they
often lasted for weeks, and the man who
gave the potlach often gave away thou
sands of dollaras worth of goods in
presents to his numerous guests.
AT the present rate at which civilization
is striding among these coastal Indians,
old timers say it won't be many years now
until the totems will be all that remains
of the old life.-Ex.
The mirror., 1921-08-11
NOTICE TO INMATES

Each inmate is accorded the privilege of
sending one paper home, or to friends free of
charge. To do this you should write your
own name and register number and the name
and address of the person you wish to send
the paper to, and hand same to your officer.
If you desire to send more than one paper,
each additional copy will be charged for at
the rate of so cents year.
The paper delivered to your cell each week
must be kept clean, and should be folded in
the same manner as you receive it, placing it
at the foott of your bed on the morning fol-
lowing the day on which it is delivered to
your cell.
The mirror., 1921-08-11

thunderbird and the copper may be re-
garded as the touchstones of the collection.
The beak of the thunderbird evidently
portcullised the voice of supreme power
and destiny, in early Siwash philosophy.
Think of depicting thunder as bird
Extremes meet in this bird of majesty.
High in elemental nature, on one occasion
at least he has been known to lend his
huge beaks, the lower of which is hinged
and opens and shuts like trap door, to
most diabolical plot. 1t seems that
feud existed between Indians of Alert bay
and others camped somewhere up the
Nimpkish. The Alert bay Indians planned
huge feast with wild orgy of hunting
wild man of the woods and then dane
ing in the community house. And their
guests, the unsuspecting Nimpkish people,
were to enter the community house through
the beak of the thunderbird. Only one
person could enter at time
On the appointed day of the feast the
Nimpkish Indians arrived, padding their
long, hish-prowed kayaks. All went we'll
till the evening when the great bird
dropped its beak and through its staring
filmless eye watched the unsuspecting
guests crawl to death. For on the inside
an Indian stood ready with club and
killed each guest with one swift blow so
that no cry escaped him to warn those
outside. In this way tradition says "most
of the enemy were done to DEATH"
The bear on the other hand is more hu-
man. He smiles out frankly on the great
world. He might whip out his great paws
and crush you to death, but in his act
would be no thought of treachery. The
man whom the bear personifes was, if
the sculptor has hewn true, big natured,
open hearted fellow afraid of nothing.
He was a chief worthy of the "copper""
The whale in his eye and every line of
him differs from both thunderbird and
bear. His is the visionary eye of the vik-
ing. His the voice that taunted the stole
Indian to become harpooner. His the
lithesome body that darted swiftly to shore
and away again, squirting in trackless
fountain of sea water "match me if you
can." The Indian harpooner is here shown
astride the whales. back. And again, if
The mirror., 1921-08-11
QUERIES
NOTICE TO INMATES

For the benefit of any inmates who appre.
Giate and see the opportunity that their spare
hours give toward means of self education
through correspondent school courses, study of
good literature, acquiring an education in our
Night Schools, or, who need helpful informa-
tion in connection with their work in our var
to use the Query" column. You are well
come to send in any queries of serious interest
to yourself, THE M!RRoR with the kind col
visor of Institutional Libraries, will gladly
endeavor to supply the requested information.
NOTlCE-In order to regulate the conduct
OF this column inmates must sign their name,
register number and lock number to all queries
submitted for publication. Inmates names, of
course, will not be published, only the initials
OF each querist being used.-Editor.
O:-Kindly advise if the word "curtsy,"
as used in the following sentence at the
close of business letter is correct or not:
Thanking you, however, very kindly for
your 'curtsy' in the matter, we are, y ="
A-The word as used is incorrect.
"Curtsy-An act of civility, respect, or
reverence, made by women, consisting of
a slight depression or dropping of the
body, with bending of the knees."-Web-
ster.
Q-Why does not the Astronomical
day." and the "Civil day" begin at the
same time?-C. H.
A:-See the Encyclopedia Americana,
volume 8, page 519. This should give
you key for any additional information
you might desire.
NOTICE-.AI inmates using the Query Col.
nmn and desiring more detailed information to
their queries are invited to use the splendid
reference books in our library to be had on
request. The International Text Books are
especially complete in their information on
techinal subjects. Consult the Reference Use-
ful Arts, Literature, Chemistry, Biography and
Science divisions of our library catalogue for
diversified subjects.
The mirror., 1921-08-11
FRANK L. RANDALL DIES

Frank L. Randall, former superinten-
dent of the Minnesota State reformatory
at St. Cloud, and for number of years
among the foremost penologists of the
country, died Friday evening, August 5th,
at the residence of Mrs. c. H. Ross, 1000
Kenwood Parkway, Minneapolis. He had
charge of the St. Cloud institution from
1900 to 1912, when he resigned to become
chairman of the Massachusetts, Prison
commission. Later he was made director
of prisons for that state, but failing health
compelled him to resign, although his
resignation was not accepted for year in
the hope that his illness would be bene-
fitted by change of climate.
Mr.. Randall was the eldest son of the
late Major B. H. Randall of Winona an
early settler of the state.
He was born at Fort Ridgely September
so, 1856 and went with his parents to St.
Peter in 1868. He grew up there and in
1879 was admitted to the bar. He prac-
ticed first at Tracy, then at New Ulm,
where he was partner of John Lind, and
in 1886 he moved to Winona where he
practiced law fourteen years, serving for
time as county attorney. When made
superintendent at St. Cloud in 1900 he
left the law for career as a penologist.
Surviving Mr.. Randall are his widow
and three children.
Funeral services were held at his for
mer home at Fl. Ridgely, Minn., Monday,
the 9Th.
The mirror., 1921-08-11

NOTICE-Contribution submitted to THE
MIRROR for publication must be absolutely
original; if not original, proper credit must
be given, if known; if writer's name is not
known, it should be so specified by said con-
tributor Should contributor fail to comply
with this request he will henceforth be dropped
from THE MIRRORS contributing staff.
Approved by WARDEN. Editor.
The mirror., 1921-08-11

The sun will shine after every storm.
There is a solution for every problem,
and the souls highest duty is to be of
good cheer.-EmerSOn.
The mirror., 1921-08-11

THE MIRROR is weekly paper published in
in 1887 by the prisoners and is edited and
managed by them. 1t aims to be a home news
paper to encourage moral and intellectual i'm
provement among the prisoners; to acquaint
the public with the true status of the prisoner
to disseminate penological information and to
aid in dispelling that prejudice which has ever
been the bar sinister to fallen mans self
redemption.
The mirror., 1921-08-11

Calumny would soon starve and die of
itself if nobody took it in and gave it
lodging-Leighton.
The mirror., 1921-08-11

Nothing is so strong as gentleness;
nothing so gentle as real strength.-Fran-
els de Sales,
The mirror., 1921-08-11

Ability is a poor mans wealth.-H
Wren.
The mirror., 1921-08-11
CHURCH NOTICE


Services in the Prison Chapel at nine o'clock
every Sunday morning, Protestant and Catho-
lie service every alternate Sunday. Rev. G. E.
Benson and Rev. FIR. Corcoran, Chaplains.