davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star., 1921-02-13

the pier and of the three native
guards who watched over the opium
storeroom. They appeared to be most
faithful to their duty. No one was
allowed to approach within ten feet of
the gate and no sampan was permit
ted to touch that side of the pier
yet balls of the most precious opium
had several times disappeared from
that very room during the night. How
had it happened? He watched and
" aited. and this is what his trained
eyes saw: From across on the Poo
Tung side of the river a little low
craft put out and headed for the mid
die of the stream. Four paper Ian
terms hung from it's sides and from it's
bamboo on it's bow string of fire
crackers cracked and flashed. while
the notes of tiny brass gong f1oated
across the water.
There cmes the Joss boat over to
this side." he heard the foreign po-
liceman say to a passing sailor,
''thatll be good luck for the incom-
ing tide"
''They sure are great believers in
that sort of thing, now, amt they?"
was the ack-tar's reply. as he rolled
along the sidewalk.
"Chang Wang Lai Chang Wang
lI.ai! Hal Kwrah Ma Tow Ching Foo"
Evening star., 1921-02-13

office to print up a few dozen resig-
nation blanks with the reasons and
regrets and etc. all filled in SO as il
they's any of the cabinet that can't
write they won't feel embarrassed
when it comes time to hand them
one, and just leave a dotted line for
them to put their signature or mark.
Now Mr.. Harding, vile as 1 say l
don't hold nothing vs.. you for what
you done and I understand why you
couldn't do no different yet it seems
to me like your administration is
libel to be another farce unlest they's
at lease one master mind connected
with it and though they's no places
| left open in the cabinet, still you
haven't bound yourself in writeing in
regard to tho position Of secy. to
the President and If you come at me
in the right n.vs waymws s.axs need say
this Job laid between your present
secy. Mr.. Christian and Richard
washburn Child and vile I don't
know nothing vs. these gents. still
and all don't believe its q job for a
Child or a Christian neither one. 1t
wouldn't be, the way I would fill it.
NOW. Mr.. Harding, let me tell you
A> something in regards to idears
about this Job and what 1 would
make out of it. In the past the Presi-
dents secy. has Just been suppose to
act like a buffet between the Presi-
dent and the pests. Well. Mr.. Hard
ing. 1 am past master in acting
like q buffet but that wouldn't only
take a small portion Of my time and
| would spend NEST Of my time make
ing your job such a cinch that all as
you would need to be scared of
would be getting arrested for va
grancy.
In the first place, of coarse 1 would
tend to your correspondents and keep
your pants pressed and answer the
phone. But besides that / would
write all your speechs and messages
and l would stick words in them that
President Wilson never heard of and
things for you to say once a wk.
when you receive the newspaper men
so as they could say in their storys:
THE President was in a jokeing
mood today" and then go ahead and
spring q little evidents to prove 1t.
newspaper boys has often said that
about the President being in joke
ing mood. but they either expected
the readers to take their word for
1t or else they accused him of gags
that sounded like they was wrote
LOT the CluD +.
The kind fix up for you would be
extemporanous. like for inst. suppose
one of the correspondents said:
We'll Mr.. President what about the
Armenian mandate?'
Your reply would be, 81 never made
no date with no Armenian man."
Or suppose they asst you what you
thought about ireland, you would
say:
'I guess it's all riot"
Or If one of them says, How do
you feel about disarmament"
You would answer laughingly,
You will half to tell me witch arm
you mean as I have forgot"
That ie q few samples of the gags
I would frame up for you and in a
little vile the papers would print the
Washington news on the comical page
where people would see it.
Il Il +
NOW Mr.. Harding. been reading
~ in Mr.. Bernstorff's book about
his years in America and he says
in it that none Of the government
officials in Washington vile he was
here could speak any foreign language
which was pkohabiy -becausethaZ was
Evening star., 1921-02-13

diminutfve farms she found herself
on the old .Pasoda road and going
rapidly back to the settlement. The
"gay cavalier" however. was not
quite SO fortunate. His mount darted
across the neighboring fields and in
Pasoda creek, where. stopping sud-
denly at the slippery bank. he tried
to keep from sliding down into the
water, but the incline was too steep
for him and the animal and they
both rolled over to the very edge Of
dous effort. struggled out Of the pre-
dicament and. freed from his burden.
started on q beeline for the town.
leaving his helpless rider bleeding
and unconscious In the mud
Fortunately-or unfortunately as
not unobserved. Two coolies. bearing
heavy burdens on their bamboos.
were Just starting to cross the neigh
boring stone bridge. and dropping
their loads. hurried to his assistance.
They picked him up and carried him
moments consultation. they decided
to take him to the only shelter In
the vicinity. which happened in this
case to be an old brick house about
a hundred yards away and directly
at right angles to the bridge. (This
STRUCTURE, ny tHe way WAo VI
those old double arches. SO common in
that part of China. and rejoiced in
the euphonious title of 1.-THE Dragons 8
Eyes") They knocked at the door.
which. after a short delay. was opened
very cautiously by the aged occupant
Of the dwelling.
"Well. what have you there?" was
the somewhat anxious inquiry.
"An injured foreigner whom we
picked up on the bank Of the creek"
was the reply.
"Ah! A rider. I see"-pointing sig
'Why do you not take him back to
the foreign city? I do not want him
here. 1t serves him right for reck-
lessly destroying our fields the way
they do"
mang! venerable father. that the
superior man is not a utensil' we all
know, but the Master said: Mercy
brings the reward Of Heaven")
The apt quotation from the sacred
classics produced it's usual magical
old man admitted them and had them
place the EnKlishman on the rough
straw couch while he produced the
customary tea and pipes. AS they
! left he drew out of his girdle two
| short strings of brass cash and-to
| handed the money to them with
| these words: ''In the name of all
the Buddhas. see that you speak of
this to no man. Keep it a profound
| secret. for II it be known that he
! who dwells by The Dragons Eyes
! IL shelterinE the foreign tramplers
| of our fields. the vengeance of all
the nefghborhood will come down
upon my head.
! +
THE contents OF the mysterious let.
ter which the commissioner had
| entrusted to Wang Foo. and which
the latter was examining carefully
in his little upper room in the bas-
ketmaker's home, were as follows:
1.-TWO losses will be yours and two
! valued treasures will disappear-the
| golden earth and he who guards it.
"You will search for them far and
near. but you will search in vain
| The sacred Buddhas will hide them
from your mortal gaze: only he who
klos> 4arouGisrth 1oA Gomneadoee:a
Evening star., 1921-02-13
ENTEEL, middle-aged men are
not addicted to selling news
papers on street corners, but
there are always exceptions


And it is the exception that counts.
His averagely good clothes were well
brushed. the shine of his shoes was
assertive and on his face
1t was the grim repression of it
that made a passing woman pause to
buy paper. though she had just nm
ished her own humble share in its max.
ing, and to stand back where he couldn I
see her, that she might find out
whether or not he was making GOOD.
chance for helping out an obviously
"last stand" case. like that. because
of the reproach you would feel II you
woke up next morning and read or
tragedy that you might have averteu;
And did not And after she found
she went to where she belonged with
q fresh luster in her conviction that
this is G blessed, good .world-..ex-
cent sometimes-and that the millen-
MUM that cynfcs have their doubts
about is already lying around every
saw puzzle. If only we could shape
it into a perfect whole.
One has to consider, OF course, the
Injustice to friend newsie. who was
that much out, financially. because OF
an older competitor. That is the mis-
fortune OIL not DciHS AuAO ~ ~ ~.'S
jigsaw ieces together yet.
But. anyhow. this isn't about news
les 1t is just to tell or a mldoie-
aged man with a sensitive face. VINO
for some reason, which is entirely
his own affair. was selling papers on
the corner the other afternoon:
And making good. Lord love MIN.
X x X X
COME boys were playing soldiers.
~ There was a drum and a squeaky
fife, and as they paraded by--flag in
front and a make-believe tank bring
ing up the rear-an ancient man who
was watching from the curb said to
another man who chanced to be next:
IT marched down this Avenue like
that at the close Of the civil war, over
fifty years, ago. My first visit mere
The native registered good -natured
interest:
You must have found everything
changed, sir"
mot everything, son. Same old flag"
X X X X
A PROFESSOR who Is a member OF
the faculty of a quite famous
university took his tiny son to see an
socially willing to snuggle into the
arms of his handsome new relative,
but when it came to kissing:
you mustn't do that. Don't you
know you have not germs. and that
have got germs?"
1t sounded like childish precocity,
but It wasn't. It was scientific knowl-
edge of the sort the father deals in
and which the baby mind had alb
sorbed from grown-up talks. And yet
that professor was innocent enough
to be shocked at little sons beha-
vior.
So many parents are that way.
A WELL tailored young fellow
L breezed from the sunny street
into the twilight of an elevator. All
that he could see back of him was
an indefinite figure in a black skirt.
A skirt stands for sex. and in
Difference to the probable peachiness
Of the wearer. the young man
whipped OFF his green felt and spiked
By The time the Elevator had
Evening star., 1921-02-13
The Girl at Sea.
eeTGNORANCE~

The speaker was an admtral.
who was discussing at . dinnef
party certain structures that had been
passed upon the Navy.
Why" he went OH, smiling whim-
sically, That armchair critic 10 -
ignorant as the girl on the CunArder.
"'rhis girl. crossing to England. got
friendly with one Of the ships ON
GERS. a young man of twenty-five or
so. The two were leaning side BY
side On the rail one day when the
officer said:
"'rhere goes four bells. r,ust
ask you to excuse me. It's my watch
b.low.'
ION, stop your kiddin'i' said tho
1irI, 'Waccvcr heard or q watch
dkinE a. loud - tha&fA
Evening star., 1921-02-13

extra. but any way I will expect to
hear from you favora.bly in regards
to this position and as evidents of
my good faith I will write your In
nuguration speech and mail Il to you
iii few days and you can use Ii
whether you engage me perma entity
or no. RING w. LARDNER
Great Neck, L. l.. Feb. IL
Evening star., 1921-02-13

appt 1 have heard of or of them
and / suppose you have too and know
something about them. but IL I was
you l would get the govt printing
Evening star., 1921-02-13
Lardner Applies for a
master Mind" Position
By Ring w. Lardner.

n II r. w. G. HARDING. Dear Sir:
M It looks like my name was
amist the also rams in the
race for cabinet positions
and vile I am disappointed. still and
all I realize they was only 10 jobs to
give out and a couple 100 unemployed
hollering for them and you figured I
wasn't the kind that would yelp If
you turned me down as 1 can make
q liveing some other way so l don't
blame you for what has came OFF.
OF the men who you are going to
Evening star., 1921-02-13

NOW Mr. Harding. 1 been reading
~ in Mr.. Bernstorff's book about
his years in America and he says
in it that none Of the government
officials in Washington vile he was
here could speak any foreign language
which vso pkohably- ly-becausaxheE was
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1921-08-12
RESPECTED WOMAN
ENTERS into REST
MRS. LUCY ]. GORDON DIES FRI.
DAY AFTERNOON AFTER ILL
NESS SEVRAL MONTHS.

(From Saturdays Daily Herald)
Mrs. Lucy j. Gordon, aged seventy
eight years, wife of the late j. P. Cor
don, died at 2:45 o'clock Friday aft
ernoon at the residence of her grand
daughter, Mrs. Frank R. Owen on
West Seventh street after all illness
of several months. '"~e +i
Mrs. Gordon had been a member of
the Cumberland Presbyterian Church
for more than fifty years and was
widely known and respected.
She is survived by one son, D. S.
Gordon and one daughter, Mrs. Min
ME A. Johns of Columbia The fun.
eral was conducted this afternoon at
the residence by DR.. w. B. Taylor,
pastor of the First Methodist Church.
Interment was in the Rose Hill Gene
terry. The following served as pail
bearers. C. NJ Edwards, C. H. Over
ton, John T. Adkisson, George Parks,
Eugene Ritter and Joe Sharber. Fun.
eral arrangements by the Maury I'm
dertaking Company.
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1921-08-12
REPAIR STORM
DAMAGE FARM
STATION HERE
WALLS BLOWN DOWN AT ADMIN
iSTRATION BUILDING HAVE
BEEN REPLACED.
ROOF WILL Be CHANGED
Structure Will Have an Improved APP
pearance-Porch and Interior Work
to Be Completed as Rapidly as Pos
sible-W alter Supply.
(From Tuesdays Daily Herald. }

(From Tuesdays Daily Herald)
Work is progressing rapidly on the
administration building at the Middle
Tennessee Experiment Station which
was partly destroyed in a storm this
summer. 1t will be remembered that
the entire 81" or auditorium part of
this building was completely demol-
ished IN the wind, the roof being scat
tered about over wide area and the
walls blown down almost to the
ground.
The walls have almost been complet-
ed and the structure upon which will
rest the roof will be put up at once.
The roof will rest upon immense
trusses and will be strengthened to
withstand anything but destructive
cyclone. The roof will be changed
from this was blown off as it will have
a hip in it and be much more ornate
structure. as we'll as a stronger, one
The loss on the building was covered
by insurance, the proceeds of which
are being used to make the repairs
In addition to the repairing and re-
building of the IL" or auditorium of
the administration building this struc-
ture will be completed. The colonial
front porch will be finished and the in
terror which has never been quite
completed, finished. The only difficulty
at the station has been to get water
supply. Efforts to secure an adequate
supply of water for the farm by Dor.
ing a we'll have SO far proven unavail.
ing but the effort has not been aban-
doned. 1t is believed that it is simply
a question of going deep enough and
that when an outfit is secured that
will continue the work to sufficient
depth that water can be found. The
administration building has been
piped for water. 1t is planned when a
supply is found to erect a standpipe
near this building from which feed
pipes will be run to the barns and
cottages on the farm.
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1921-08-12
WORK BEGINS ON
new SCHOOL FOR
NINTH DISTRICT
LARGE FORCE OF HANDS REMov.
ING DEBRIS PREPARATORY TO
BUILDING FOUNDATION.
EAST OF the OLD HOUSE
Session Will Start AS Usual In the Old
Structure But Other VIII Be Ready
for Occupancy Long Before the
Term Is over.

tFrom Tuesdays Daily Herald)
Construction of the new $4,000
school building at McDowells has
started. The contractors, Sanders &
Company, of Lewisburg, put force
of hands at work on Monday removing
the debris from the building site and
preparing to construct the foundation.
Only portion of the present structure
will have to be moved in order to per.
NIT the erection of the new building
and the school term will open as usual
in the old building, the last ever to
open there.
About a score of hands, under the
personal direction of Mr.. Sanders, the
head of the firm, were put to work
on Monday and the work on the build.
ing will be rushed as rapidly as posi-
BILE. Already the materials for the
building are being assembled, and the
work will be rushed as rapidly as pos
sible. The building will be east of the
present structure, the purchase Of a
big lot from the Smith estate enabling
the committee to find better location
for the building.
The addition of the lot not only
gives the school building a better site
but 1t will greatly enlarge and i'm
prove the play grounds. The new
building will be brick vaneer and
while not quite as large or expensive
as originally planned, due to the fact
that it was found that the appropria-
tion would have to be reduced, it is
believed that it will take care of the
needs of this school during the life
of the coming generation. The build
ing will be equipped as it is erected
with modern plumbing and will have
sanitary closets and in fact every es-
sential for a complete and modern
school structure.
John Shelby Coffey, of the local
building committee, is giving a good
deal of his time and personal atten-
ton to the structure and stated this
morning that he was very much graft
fed at the business like way in which
the contractor is going about, the con
struction of the house which he hopes
to have ready long before the term is
over.H p-
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1921-08-12
MAS0NS DOING A
GREAT DEAL OF WORK
ALL OF THIS MONTH WILL BE-
A BUSY oNE-MANY APPLieA-
TjoNs FOR CHAPTER.
From Fiday's Daily Herald.)

(From Fiday's Daily Heraid')
Much business was transacted al
the stated meeting OF Columbia Lodge
No. 81 Free and Accepted Masons
Thursday night. Many applications
for membership into the Blue Lodge
were received and ballotted upon ana
the lectures in the entered apprentice
and fellow craft degrees given In ana
the elections for succeeding degrees
August will be busy month for the
blue lodge. and from the applications
received and now on file for the chap
ter degrees, there is also to be a great
dea, of work done in this lodge.
worshipful Master William Cakes
had the edicts of the Grand Lodge OF
Tennessee and read to the members
which took up a great deal Of time
but was most essential. There will be
work in the Masters degree next wed
nesday night.
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1921-08-12
RURAL SCHOOLS
. OF The COUNTY
OPEN SESSIONS
WITH EXCEPTION OF THOSE IN
LARGE CENTERS PUPILS ARE
SUMMONED TO BOOKS.
QUESTIONABLE FOR TEACHERS
Much Information From Pedagosues
Is Now Required by the State Super
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. Of Porters
and Ettaton Is Suggested. ~
(From Mondays Daily Herald. !,

(From Mondays Daily Herald.D
With the exception of Columbia, Mt.
Pleasant, Culleoka Mcdowell and
number of the larger centers the white
elementary schools of the county open
ed their sessions this morning. From
reports received the enrolment APP
pears to be equal to if not in excess of
that of last term.
The teachers of the rural schools
came to the Office of Superintendent
Graham on Saturday, signed their con-
tracts, received their Instructions and
books and answered questionnaires
that the state superintendent has sent
out to all county superintendent.
This QUESTIONABLE requires the
teacher to give age, school from which
graduated, college course, If any, char
acter Of certificate, years of expert
ence as a teacher and length of time at
q single school. When all this infor.
nation shall have been obtained some
interesting facts can be compiled.
In point of long service at single
school, Prof. M. V. Kerr, of Cuba
school held the record on Saturdays
report. Mr.. Kerr is beginning his
eighth year at this school and before
that time he had many years Of OK.
perience as teacher. The men teach
ers are little freer in giving their
ages than the ladies', one of the latter
putting down her age as twent-one
plus, but confessed to twenty years off,
teaching experience. very crafty
ing proportion of those answering the
interrogatories are graduates of the
Central High School of Columbia and
goodly percentage have had college
work tF ~ :
The elementary schools at EttatOn
and Porters did not open this morning
due to the fact that negotiations are
pending for the consolidation Of those :.
two schools. Recently Oyertures, have
been made by leading citizens Of that
section in the sixth. district looking Il
toward the consolidation of these
schools and school officials are very
hopeful that, something tangible VIII i
come of the movement If this Is
done the new school will be located
somewhere in the territory between
the two schools. 1t will be recalled
that the school at Porters was burned
down and plans have been completed
for its rebuilding. 4a
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1921-08-12
COUNTY GAINS
IN NUMBER OF
SCHOOL PUPILS
SCHOLASTIC POPULATION OF
THE WHOLE COUNTY SHOWS
AN INCREASE OF AL.
BUT the CITIES BOTH LOSE
MT. Pleasant Suffers Decline of Eighty
Eight While That in Columbia Is
117-Sixty-Four Per Cent of Chill.
= dren Are White.
(From Fiday's Daily Herald

1
Maury county gained 431 in scholas-
tic population during the past year ac-
cording to the census just certified by
County Superintendent Graham to the
county trustee and also to the state
department of education. The county
now contains 1873 children between
the ages of six and twenty-one years.
A year ago there were 1882 children
of school age in the county.
The gains were all made in the coun-
try, the county outside Of the cities
of Mt. Pleasant and Columbia showing
an increase of 636 children. But the
two towns named lost 205 children
making the net gain for the county
431.
Columbia lost III children while
the town Of Mt Pleasant lost So. The
largest numerical loss was in Column
bia, but the heaviest percentage of
loss was in Mt. Pleasant.
There are in the county 1886 white
children of school age and 4,237 col
ored children. Sixty-four per cent of
the children of the county are white
and thirty-six per cent are colored.
The percentage of white children
shows slight increase over former
years.
Only in the seventh district tout.
side the limits of Mt. Pleasantly are
the negro children in a majority. In
that district there are fourteen more
negro children than white children out
of population of 1,150. However, in
side the town of Mt Pleasant the
whites outnumber the negroes two to
one, just about the same proportion
as in the city of Columbia.
The highest percentage of whites
out of the total population are in the
first and fourth districts where three.
fourths of the population are white.
Next to the seventh, the eighth dis.
trict has the highest percentage OF ne.
gro children. I'LL
The following is the population Of
the county by races and by districts:
n:.4.:o. urb;to Cnlncol Tot oil
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1921-08-12
LARGE COMMITTEE
MEETS FARMERS
BUSINESS MEN JOIN IN EXTEND
ING GLAD HAND TO THE DEL
EGATES HERE. 4;
(From Tuesdays Daily Herald,

(From Tuesdays Daily Herald -.
Delegates to the farmers conven-
tion we're met this morning by large
delegation of business men and
brought from the station to the high
school. About fifty men and women
of the city wore badges as a recep-
ton committee and went to the open
ing session to extend the glad hand
of fellowship to the delegates and as
sure them that they were cordially
welcome in Maury county.
Chairman William F. Anderson, Of
the local merchants committee, and
Chairman William P. Ridley, of the
council committee. ably aided by Pres
ident Joe Frank Porter. of the council
of agriculture, and others were right
on hand all the time to see that the
delegates were properly looked after.