davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-05-13
Election June [

Montgomery, May l2.-tspeclaI)- Probate judges today were notified by William P. Cobb, secretary of state. that democratic and republican candi- dates had been entered in the special election for congressman from the Fourth district which will be held June T. Lamar Jeffers of Anniston was certified as the democratic nomi- nee, and A. P. Longshore of Colum- biana as the republican nominee. The successful candidate will succeed Con-
 gressman Fred L. Blackmon. deceased.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-05-13
Miss Agnes Repplier's Hun7or

OtNCE Miss Agnes Repplier's pub N lished view of Women's Lack of v Humor," 1 have been tremendous ly amused and greatly surprised al this clever authors statement, largely be- cause she herself in her own person seems to so thoroughly disprove her statement.
 Maybe she meant it to be "humor- ous;" I hadn't thought of that. Maybe she intended to refute the idea that 'Women's Lack of Humor" is a misap- prehension.
 charming wit and humorist herself. wonderfully versatile and very original. she is living, breathing exception to the rule eff she really means that wom- en are lacking in humor). l always think of an adorable little story about a small boy which proves that men are taught from their infancy to regard women as unwitty un-smart and un-clever, even if women are not so taught.
 It seems that a certain youngster had heard all sorts of wranglinGs and dis cussions as to whether or not ladies are smart. his father always taking the side that they were not, most emphat- icaliy and unequivocally:
 One day his mother had spend the- day. party; the youngster was duly brought forth to show off his mother making a pretty speech about him, when one of the guests drew the little fellow toward her and endeavoraing to be pleasant, said.
 Don't you think your mother is a very smart lady2"
 The little boy, remembering the aw- full wranglings on this subject twixt father and mother, replied diplomati- cally:
 Any lady ain't very smart"
 And now comes Miss Agnes Reppller with her astounding statement, Any lady aint very humorous which is the equivalent of the youngsters statement to a large extent
 Miss Repplier has way of making this announcement about women, peri odically. I think, because I remember some years ago reading a story she wrote in Life, in which she declared that there are only 40 jokes in the world, S9 of which cannot be told to ladies'"
 Maybe that's the reason why women haven't a more fully developed sense
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-05-13
MISS MANNING HONORED

Miss Mary Bryan Frazier and Mrs. Arthur Beckwith entertaed yesterday afternoon at bridge tea in honor of Miss Julia Manning, the attractive guest of Miss Lee Ola shannon.
 The house was charmingly deco rated with a profusiop of roses and other spring blossoms.
 A salad course was served.
 The guests were> Miss Manning, Miss shannon, Miss Evelyn Hoke, Miss Annette Hoyt, Miss Margaret Tynes, Miss Margaret Tillman, Miss Rosa Wood, Miss Emmin Whatley, Miss Florence Robertson, Miss Ida Neal Ford Miss Frances Duncan, Miss Elea- nore Allen, Miss Mary Styles, Miss Mary Chambliss Dryer, Miss Dorothy Dryer Miss Edith Mabry, Miss Rather inc Morrow, Miss Sara Vann, Miss Katherine Lynch, Miss Katherine Re dd, Miss Dorothy Steadman. Miss Lucy Sharp, Miss Virginia Hassinger, Miss Elizabeth Adams, Miss Katherine Powers of Montgomery. Mrs. Ford Cromer, Mrs. Ted Martin, Mrs. Bland Holloway, Mrs. John Singleterry, Mrs. R. E. Hunt, Mrs. Neville Eubank, Mrs. Pete Davis Mrs. Arthur Major, Mrs. Lee Allen Brooks, Mrs. Ned Harris Mrs. George Headley, Mrs. Vernon Badham, Mrs. Houston Brice, Mrs. George Saf- fold. Mrs. Sharp Gillespy. Mrs. Howard Terry and Mrs Morris Bush
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-05-13
DECATUR WILL BEGIN PAVING PROGRAMME
Council Passes Ordinance Pro- viding improvement of the
 Most Important Streets

Dectur, May 12.-(Special)- )-Decatur soon is to launch q paving programme totalling more than $200.o0O, according to the preliminary estimates.
 The council, at it's regular meeting passed ordinances providing for the inn provement of a majority of the more important thoroughfares which are now unimproved and an opportunity will De given citizens to protest if they see fit
 After the objections are heard, the council may, if it so decides, continue it's praying plans and it is expected that the bonds will be readily disposed of
 Included in the paving programme are the following streets: Church street. Canal to Ferry; Vine. Alabama to Railroad, and thence to Washington with the exception of small part all ready paved; Walnut, Bank to Alabama and Walnut. Railroad to Bank; sections of Cain and Cherry; Canal, Church to Lee; Line, Church to Lee; Oak, Church to Lee Railroad, Vine to railroad under pass.
 It is estimated that the paving can be done now at a cost of approximately one-third less than it could have been done year or so ago, when the paving programme first was taken up oy the council
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-05-13
By DOLLY DALRYMPLE

[ I remember reading story once about Mark Twain, who was discussing with a friend the fine qualities of women
 Have they humor?" asked the friend Well" said Mark Twain q don't think they have humor themselves. but they appreciate humor in others Now, SC that woman over there?" (And he mo- ticned to certain lady; it was his wife, chatting with a little coterie) Now. don't suppose that woman ever said a humorous thing in her life but she all ways sees the point of my jokes"
 However correct these two distin- guished humorists are in their theories the obviously conspicuous exceptions to the rule loom high in ones thoughts. For instance, the humor of Jane Aus ten belongs to the purest vintage of laughter; it is as light as air. swift as a swallow. indisputable as Moliere. The eyes of Jane Austen are always down. cast, but like "Leeby.' in "The Window in Thrums, she notes every fray in the carpet every kink in the character, every subtlety of the game.
 And George Eliot, too what summer | liehtnings of humor" play about that | formidable brow!
 On the other hand there was Mrs. HumI hrey Ward, the most successful novelist since George Eliot with the possible exception (tell it not in Gath) of Marie Corelli, who, like Mrs Mark Twain" (Mrs. Clemens) never said a humorous thing in her life.
 | Her books are as innocent of laughter as they are of improprieties; you never expect a rollicking good time when you take down Robert Elsmere' to read. OF The History of David Grieve" Mar celia" for you know perfectly well you are going to behave with decorum. l Like the man of whom it was said, he can strut sitting down. so of Mrs. Ward | it may be said, she can be superior either sitting down or standing up, be- cause she was born that way"
 Yet again take our delightfully."- modern Michael Strange" (Mrs John Barry more) and her hunor is so deiciously re- freshing that it reminds one of the title of her play Claire de Lune' C'Moon- light'0 with it's ingratating, whimsical purring atmosphere; its fine, high minded sense of humor.''
 l adore the line when the "ladies-in. waiting have heard of the indiscretion of the duchess'f the evening before with .Gwymplane the Clown" played by John Barrymore, when Phedro hints at the
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-05-13
ANNOUNCEMENTS

LEtude de Art will meet this after noon at 2:S0 o'clock with Mrs. l.. A. Donahoo, 1032 Crescent avenue.
 The final meeting of the Clionian club will be held at the home of Mrs. w. w. Eussey at Roebuck Springs this after- noon at 3 o'clock. The interesting feature of this meeting is that the husbands of the members are to be en- tertained.
 The Junior Shakespeare club will meet this afternoon with Miss Emily The Joycrcfters will meet this aft ernoon at 2:30 o'clock with Mrs. J. J. shannon on Cliff road
 Llewellen Johns chapter, Order of Eastern Star, will hold its regular meeting this evening at o'clock d, the West End hall There will be initiation and balloting. Members and friends are asked to be present.
 es
 A meeting has been called by MT J. Ellis Brown of all supervisors of play grounds for Saturday morning at 10 o'clock at the Boys' club rooms at Twentieth street and fourth avenue
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-05-13

of humor," because they can't cultivate it on the strength of that one old joke.
 However. the war has taken place since that story was written, and there were flew war stories" reliable" to ladies, though I must admit that most of them needed a "chaperone."
 
 Miss Repplier's article puts one to thinking, to say the least of it, and one cannot help asking the question:
 Are men really blessed with a sense of humor more keen than women?"
 I can't accept the statement to save my life without protest. Men in gem edal have coarser sense of humor un- doubtcdly; theirs, I would say, is wit rather than humor and wit is not humor any more than cleverness is humor there must be in humor a touch of whimsicality: twist of individual ity waich distinguishes it from either, and it is one of the rarest things to be found in the world today
 When women tells story-if she is in the least endowed with a sense of humor, she gives it this little twist of individuality, of originality" but a man when he tells a story shields nothing calls "a spade spade" and as some clever wag remarked once upon a time. Anybody who does this should be made to use one.
 | Let a woman tell the average man story, just verging on the "risque, '' never stopping over,"- but just skim ming the thin ice; one of those delicious l little Don mots' that are so adored by the French and really clever Americans, and what is the result?
 He'll turn straight around utterly mistaking the humor of the story you've told him, and tell you one that is so broad, so fragrant that. you feel that you have been insulted that he thinks you have not the slightest mo- dicum of brain, not to speak of "a sense of humor"
 It is delicacy of expression, as we'll as logical basis, that distinguishes humor from broad wit or ordinarily funny" things, and this is founded largely on the personality of the hu- morst himself and is a part of his own whimsical self.
 Most of us don't mind 'mothering" our own dear stories 'the way tell them, ,'' but the saints forbid We wouldn't even own them as "stepchildren" when we hear them as they "come home to roost, D as told by some of our near humorous friends.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-05-13
STILL SOME LIQUOR
 LEFT IN LOTHIAN

Dothan. May 12.-(Special )-Marvin Branch. negro, was fined s1OO or six months on the streets yesterday after noon in police court for having in hls possession a gallon and a half of rum The arrest was made by Policemen Draughon and Lynch. They passed Mar wins house and noticing his wilted ex- pression as he sat on his porch they searched him and found a quart of dew on each hip and gollon under the front porch.
 Uncle Nathan" an aged darkey Of ante-bellum days. was fined S50,00 or three months on the streets when officers found a pint and a quart in his house in Baptist Bottom. They also discovered in his house numerous dead soldiers" with only a few drops in each bottle. Each are serving their time, as they could not pay the fines.
 'debacle,' and informs them that they will not longer have to "kow-tow' and "salaam' to the duchess, as she Is now "Declassee" e"-whereupon "a lady re- marks:
 "Ohl you mean that she left the door open? Or msaid one of her jewels some where?'
 If anything is any more clean-cut and daintily humorous than that I'd like to have Miss Repplier or the Shades of Mark Twain mention it.
 
 "A life saver" is what man says who has used DIR. SETH ARNOLD'S $ BALSAM for bowel complaints. Re
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-05-13
RANDOM NOTES

Mrs. Lollie Wingo is the guest of MT. and Mrs. Douglas Taylor in Hunts vile.
 Mrs. Harry Wilcox is the guest of Mrs. Will Stewart in Montgomery.
 Dr. and Mrs. w. s. Rountree, Mrs. Mary Davis and Mrs. J. B. Head mo tored to Tuscaloosa to attend the Roun- tree- e-VandeGraaff wedding.
 Mrs. Allen Houston of Selma will arrive in the city shortly to make her home.
 Mrs. Lula Morgan and Miss Frances Morgan are visiting friends in the city. Mrs. J. o. Albright, who was the guest of her daughter, Mrs. Stephenson, in Birmingham has returned to her home in Mobile. ~
 Mir. and Mrs. John L. Kaul were guests at the Rountree- -vandeGraaff wedding in Tuscaloosa.
 Mrs. Frank Bolin and children are the guests of pr. and Mrs. W. w. Grif- fin.
 Miss Florence Thomas, who has been visiting friends in Tuscaloosa, has returned to her home in Besse- mer.
 Miss Dorothy Beatty has returned frfom Boucher college, at which she has been student for the past year. Mrs. Harry Browne and Mrs. Paul Sessions are at Pass Christian.
 Mrs. B. T. Dunkerley is the guest Of Mrs. L. D. Herbert in Greenville MT. and Mrs. J. c. Palmer have re- turned from a short stay at Fair Hope and Golden. = Mr. W. Mason has returned from a visit to his daughter, Mrs. J. T. South gate, at Pass Christian.
 Mrs: B. w. Erwin and children have returned from a visit to friends in At talla.
 Miss Haynie Smyer Is the guest of the Rev. and Mrs. M. M Russell in Gadsden.
 Mrs. S. F Middleton left yest.rdav for her home in Memphis after a visit to her parents. pr. and Mrs. J. T. Coul- bourne.
 Mrs. c. B. Abrams has returned from a vislt 10 relatives and friends in. At lanta.
 Mrs. w. B: Hargrove and Mrs. Charles Mcdonald will leave early next month for Mentone to spend the sum mer.
 MT. and Mrs. Bowen Mcdonald are building a handsome new bungalow. which they will later occupy.
 
 Miss Meta Nathurst left yesterday afternoon for her home in Gadsden. after visit to relatives in this city.
 
 Mrs. w. c. Clark. who is the guest of MT. and Mrs. c. A. Bain will leave today for her home in Sheffield
 The many little friends and school mates of Master Louie Reese will re- gret to learn that he is very i'll with measles
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-05-13
SOME CLASS TO PEOPLE
 LIVING IN LIVINGSTON

Livingston, May 12-(speciaL)-Plans and specifications for the hard surface road north and south through the city call for greater width than some Of the streets have, and it will be neces- sary to widen some of them. To avoid any delay to the work, Mayor M. F. Mcconnell, with his usual foresight. go. on the job promptly and has just ha signed deeds to the necessary frontage from every property owner affected, granting from to 10 feet off the front of each lot facing the street to be worked; and as an indication of the interest taken by the citizens, not a cent of dam ages was even suggested by any prop erty owner but the necessary number of feet was gladly given without money and without price to help in the great cause of good roads and better streets.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-05-13

YouIl like Jack Frost Salt.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-05-13

Georgette and Silk Waists. attractively trimmed; va riety of selection of pretty street and suit shades. Beaded, lace trimmed and embroidered.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-05-13

sloeo m this city for the past 25 years He stated:
 T have suffered from stomach trouble which took the form of indigestion and dyspepsia. for a long time. My kidneys were affected and I had bad pains in my back; all of my food fermented and formed gas which caused me great pain was nervous and restless and at night could scarcely sleep. I was barely able 10 work for weeks at time and had become badly discouraged. as no medicine tnat l had ever used seemed to give me relief. Finally I decided to try Plant Juice. as I had heard wonderful reports Of what 1t was doing for Birmingham people It gave me almost instant re- f4ief sDd can truthfully state that 1t has helped me from the very first dose as nothing else ever did. I am feeling bet )gter than have for years and give Plant Juice entire credit for my present good health. am recommending it to all of my friends
 Plant Juice is sold in Birmingham at Nortons drug store. Fourth avenue and Twentieth street.--Adv.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-05-13
Patton-Pope Drug Co.
HOME FOLKS NOW PRA|S|NG REMEDY lWeII-Known Birmingham Citi- zen Gives Glowing Testimo- niaI for Plant Juice

Considerable talk has been stirred up locally by the wonderful relief that Mr
 Theodore Meyer, who resides at 240O Fifth avenue, Birmingham, has experienced from the use of Plant Juice. MT. Meyer Is well-known plumber, and has re-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-05-13
Imneachment PrOceedings

Montgomery, May 12 - (Special.)- Between 25 and 35 witnesses were summoned by the clerk of the supreme court today to appear here May 25 for the trial of articles of impeachment preferred by the state against Sheriff John Strength of Elmore county. The subpoenas included witnesses for the state and defense.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-05-13

"A life saver" is what man says who has used DIR. SETH ARNOBD'S $ BALSAM for bowel complaints Re- commended by Eugene Jacobs Drug Store.--Adv.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1921-09-08
CAR DRIVING HARD ON FEET
Use of AcceIerator Causes "Short
Circuit" of Pedal Nerves or motor
Foot" 1t Is Said.

When car owners return from their
summer vacations many of them re-
turn limping. A new summer cpl
demic is at large in the ranks of vaca-
tiOniStS.
The new ailment has been given the
popular name of motor foot" In the
language of surgical chiropody it is in
deXed and classified under the name
Of 'metatarsal displacement"
Continuous motoring is the cause
Of the ailment. 1t is right foot
trouble caused by the continuous strain
occasioned by long motor trips when
the driver keeps his foot in the strained
position required by the use of the car
accelerator.
This position causes displacement
Of the metatarsal bones which in turn
causes them, in motor language, to
short the nerves of that part of the
foot. This in turn is the answer for
the pain that accompanies the dis
tinction of possessing motor foot"
Motor foot" not only makes walk
ing painful, but practically eliminates
golf, tennis or any of the other popular
forms of active recreation.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1921-09-08
WHY JOHN WAS NOT SMOKING
Probably the Widest Idea of His
eliminates Would Have Been
Wide of the Mark.

All the men at the club have been
watching Johnnie Edwards, the invet-
crate smoker for the last week, and
there's been much surmising and con-
occurring, but Johnnie wouldn't give
himself away. 1t seems that Johnnie
has held the prize for the champion
smoker in the club for ten years.
In the last week Johnnie has been
seen strolling around the rooms with
detected, lost appearance and be-
tween his lips always the inevitable
cigarette. But it was never lighted.
Nobody liked to ask him questions and
he didn't volunteer any explanation, so
it wasn't explained until Jimmie Van
Week overheard him say on the tele-
phone:
mo, you have got to stick to your
word now. l swore off if you would,
and goodness knows l want one bad
enough, but Doc says you've gotta
leave 'em alone for while. Now be a
good little mother and remember your
promise. New York Sun.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1921-09-08
POULTRY
FLOCKS
FEEDS FOR PRODUCING EGGS
PouItryman Should Have Full lKnowl-
edge of Proper Feed and How
to Prepare 1t.

prepared by the United States Depart
ment of Agriculture)
Everyone in the poultry business
hopes to have eggs throughout the year,
but Of course this is scarcely possible.
II the business is gone into on a COM
mercial scale the largest profit should
be obtained during the winter. If just
two eggs a week extra can be OBJ
tanned from every hen good profit
will be made, while if one egg a week
extra can be recorded In the winter,
this one egg will pay for all the feed
the hen eats, according to the expert
ences Of the poultry specialists in the
United States Department Of Agricul-
ture. To obtain this greater produc-
ton not only should the fowls be
young and of good laying breed, but
the feeder should have a full knowl-
edge of the proper feed and how to
prepare it. And this can be achieved
only by study and care.
Nutriment in the feed of laying hens
serves a twofold purpose: to repair
waste and supply heat to the body
and provide the egg-making materi-
ais. AS only the surplus over what is
needed for the body Is available for
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1921-09-08
BURN DEAD POULTRY
IS EXCELLENT PLAN
Especially True in Case of Death
From Disease.
Burying Not Satisfactory Because
Dogs and Other Animals May Dig
Carcass Up-concrete Crema-
tory Is Not Expensive.

prepared by the United States Depart
ment of Agriculture)
Accommodations of manure in the
henhouse are Objectionable upon
grounds of sanitation, but not more so
than dead poultry. How often have
you seen O dead chicken thrown into
the road or trampled into the barn
yard manure? The disposal of these
dead bodies offers a problem for the
poultryman, the correct solving Of
which may in many cases become
very important matter, say specialists
of the United States Department of
Agriculture. This is especially true,
of course, in cases of death from con-
tagious diseases, and this includes a
large proportion of poultry deaths.
To throw dead chicken on the ma
nure pile or into the road is to invite
the spread Of disease. Burying is not
entirely satisfactory, because unless
the grave is dug deep the carcass may
be scratched up by dogs or other ami
mails. Furthermore, in the winter the
ground may be frozen. Therefore, spe-
ciaIists declare, the best way to dis.
pose of dead poultry is to burn the
bodies.
Many town and city homes have
garbage burners which may be used,
but where this is not available some
poultrymen having hot-water heating
systems BURN the bodies in the fur
mace. This cannot be done in the sum-
mer, though, so small crematories
have been built on some poultry
plants. Some of these are of concrete,
the size depending upon the number
of birds kept on the place, and others
are ordinary iron wood-burning stoves.
A concrete crematory will not be ex-
pensive, and would pay for itself in
safeguarding the health Of all the
poultry.
Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1921-09-08
PUREBREDS BEST PRODUCERS
Enormous Differences Among Dairy
Cows Have Been Brought Out
In Number of Cases.

The value of purebred stock, say
specialists in the United States De-
partmeEt of Agriculture, is most no
ticeabe in those cases in which the
capability of the animals is measured
most directly. Among farm animals
the best illustration can be found in
dairy cattle, though careful yearly
tests Of milk and butterfat production
are relatively recent affairs. The enor-
nous differences among dairy cows
when given the same opportunity have
been brought out clearly in a great
number of cases, and these differences
are strongly inherited through both
the sire and the dam. The average
production for purebreds and grades Is
much above the average of all milk
cows, which is about 1000 pounds of
milk and 100 pounds of butterfat an
nually.