The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1921-08-16
80 - >>~>> >~> -.
:. EDITORIAL H.INGS OF THIS.
: THAT ZEN 'TOTHER
. 80 80 80 ,

- 80 80 . . . . 80 .
Say, people, if that X-ray con-
traption for taking picures through
walls works well, the gold fish won t,
have anything on us for privacy.
This is the plant of a Paris man
whose ffivver was stolen recently:
HE who steals my lizzy steals junk,
which hardly enriches him, yet leaves
me poor indeed"
Prices of food and clothing are not
yet far enough down to suit the fell
low who finds consolation in the fact
that, if you know the ropes, you can
buy case of perfectly good whisky
for $50 to $40.
1t is said that anyone who operates
typewriter all day does more phys-
fical labor than a hod carrier, but the
trouble is so many of them cannot
outspell the hod carrier while out
shining him in physical exertion.
q
Mr.. Mellon says expenses must be
cut $250,000,000." Everyone says
expenses must be cut, and what
everyone says recalls Mark Twain's
observation about everyone talking
about the weather and nobody doing
anything about it.
Statistics have been published To
show that at least one stenographer
out of every ten marries her employ
er, which statistics prove conclu-
sievly that one employer out of every
ten quits the debating.
John Schumacher, of Clark county,
was charged with the murder of his
father just in time to save Kentuck-
ians the humiliation of discussing
the state of savagery existing in In
diana, where. a young man has been
charged with killing his mother.
|
Now that 1.-The perfect marriage"
has run short course to the divorce
court, Geraldine Farrar should force
the press agent to amt that he
was the author of all that she was
reported as saying about how to
manage husband, especially one of
the Lou Tellegan sort.
"A generation ago man of aver
| age means who fell ill was waited
| upon by his sisters, his cousins or his
aunts. Nowadays he has trained
nurse who costs good deal more
when her fee is the whole cost, and
| who may break his heart or shoot
him for breaking hers.
William Deans Howell once said
that a man who could not write save
when inspired was not likely to ac-
compiler anything in literature. In
other words the man who cannot
write a furnace advertisement with
a punch in August is the sort of man
to grind out the problem novel IF
the year every year.
A piece of ice stood wasting away
in the sunlight at the corner Of
Main and Fifth street the other day
Two Paris women stood talking be-
side the cake of ice During half
an hour they conversed about clothes,
the movies and their neighbors.
Neither one uttered a single word
that helped or informed the other
Women and ice wasting away in the
sunlight.
ever will be again, worse luck, The
poets are becoming unintelligible,
there is neither wet nor wit in the
clubs, and the price of relieving the
drouth is the only really prohibitive
thing about prohibition. What said
the genial old Partisan: u often
wonder what bootleggers buy one
half so precious as the goods they
SELL
/ A woman stood at the corner of q
certain Paris store the other after
noon, and during many minutes bull
lied and hectored a salesgirl because
she could not match a ribbon. At
last she said: 'I think you must be
very stupid, or else your stock is
poor, if you can't find what I want,
I'm. mind to report you" The girl
looked very tired, but she smiled and
observed: my feet hurt me, too.
If you go and sit down and rest for
a while maybe I can find what you
want before you come back" She did.
New York's opinion of Kentucky
detection practices may be gathered