The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1921-02-18
ON THE FUNNY BONE.

One of the beautiful, weII-hufIr
modern suburban homes coIIansad
during the night, just before the d.
Velopment was to be placed on lie
market, and next morning the hustIine
building contractor was ont hrighf
I and >early to survey the wreck. Su6-
denly he grew pale with rage and
turned fercely upon his foreman
You miserable bonehead!" he tbnn-
dered. 'Call yourself a workman
Why, you amt fit to build don
houses! See what you've done nv
line new house nothing but a pile of
rubbish" p''o
A|-she was built accordin' to
specifications the foreman retorted
How come it my fault?"
why, you poor fish," the contrac-
tor hoWled. What did you expect was
to hold 1t together? Here YOU went
and tore away the scaffolding before
you put on the wall paper."
You can hardly blame the Japs for
feeling hurt at being excluded as nm
deSirables when they look at some of
the European immigrants who are adj
mitted without NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
City Journal.
! For Sale; new house, having six
rooms and bath on each side. Nicely
painted and paDered inside with CON
crete walks.-Waynesboro Record
Herald.
/ Mr.. and Mrs. Charles Spirks of
AlorganVille wish to thank all their
kind friends and neighbo.rs for their
sympathy and very generous help for
/ the loss OF their COW, killed by light
ning.-Matawan journal.
/ 1t was country town and he was
making preparations for flitting-the
fourth removal in about II months.
The parson happened to be passing
and remarked: "What-moying again,
John?"
/ yes, sir" replied John.
You are taking your poultry, too,
! / see. They will be getting tired OF
moving about so mucn."
Getting tired?" said John. "Why
bless you, sir, they are quite used to
it now. Every time they see a furni-
ture van they run into the yard and
! lay on their backs with their legs in
the air waiting to have them tied"
. No wonder the tramDs go South in
winter, as someone might affront the
dignity of labor by asking them to
shovel snOw.-LaWTence Tribune.
o. o. Graves team ran away last
week and he was thrown on his face,
distiguring it temporarily, but doing
no serious damage to anything
Greensburg Progressive.
. Lottie-He wore my photograph
over his heart and it stopped the bull
let.
Tottie-I'm not surprised, dear. 1t
would stop a clock!-Stray Stories.
Smith-What do you think Of this
scheme of telegraphing without
wires?
JOes-That's nothing new. My wife
has been kicking my shins under the
table for the last 20 years. Science
and Invention.
Jimmy-Gosh. Jane must be in
terested in guy when she begins to
DICK threads OIL u ms coat.
. Tommy-Nohtin' 10 when she begins
to pick hairs otf'n it,-Cartoons Mag
aZine.
~"WelI, my dear, I've just had my
life insured for $4,000.
ON, how sweet of you. Now l
shan't have to keep telling you to be
careful every place you go."-LegiOn
/ Weekly.
! The day before she was to be mar
ried the old negro servant came to
her mistress and intrusted her saw
ings in her keeping. why should l
keep it? I thought you were going to
get married." said the mistress.
80 l is, missus, but do you s'pOse
I'd keep all dis money in de house
wild dat strange nigger?'
There is one automobile to every 16
people in the United States. The pop
ulation may therefore be roughly pro-
portioned as six riders to 10 dodgers.
Syracuse Post Standard.
Say, old man. is my tire flat"
well, it's a little fiat at the bot
tom, but the rest of it is all right -
Judge.
! Here lies the body of Jim Lake,
( Tread softly all who pass;
He thought his foot was on the
brake,
But it was on the gas.-Jack Ca
muck.
A small boy who often goes riding
/ In motor car, is a great believer in
prayer The other day the car got
stuck, and Bobbie prayed, 'Oh Lord,
please help us out; there is only a
woman chauffeur present. "-Capper'
Have you a little fairy in your
home?"
NO, but I have a little miss in my
engine "-Philadelphia Public Ledger.
1--WE had a contest to decide the
prettiest girl in our graduating class
of 400