davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-11-11
HOW ARTEMUs WARD


To LECTURE.
A certain railroad IN the middle
vest came very near going down IN
history as "Artemus Wards Road. -
The reason is that once upon q time
Artemus IL supposed 20 have ap-
piled 10 the superintendent for a
pass.
You an editor1' the superin-
tendent asked evidently on the point
OF snlckering.
Yes. SIR ser I. don't I look
poor enuff'
Just about ser he. but our
road can't pass you
Can't. hey7'
No. sir-it can'tr
'Becauz.' SEX I. lookin' him fun
IN the face with Eagle eye. IT goes
so darned slow It can't pass any
body
''Methinks had him then It's
the sowest Rale Road IN the west.
with a mortified air. he told me TO
git out OF his office. I pitted him
and went"
IL was while travelling on that rail-
road that DR.. E. p. Kingston first
heard OF Artemus Ward A fellow
traveller told him the story. The
doctor sought out Artemus the first
chance he had. At their firs5 meet
ing. Artemus suggested 20 DR..
Kingston the possibility that some
day he would be his manager on a
lecture tour. Artemus first stepped
upon the lecture platform
His work for New York maya
aRine. 20 which he had gone from the
fCIeveland Plain Dealer. was sue
cessful. ATtemus became editor OF
the magazine for time. but his dis
Ike for the details or financing the
magazine as well as editing II mill
tated against success.
A book containing the Artemus
Ward letters was soon given wide
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-11-11
ARK STUYVESANT

circulation. Forty thousand copies
were sold outright. When its pub
Usher called on Artemus 20 pay him
his royalty ne found him in a small
hall room. The publisher handed
Artemus six thousand dollars, and
Artemus real career was started.
Before this. Artemus had tried
out" a lecture. II was a success.
but he had not the money properly
10 finance II. Now he had that
money. and he went uomewhat far
aheld to deliver his lecture. A typi-
cal lecture was Sixty Minutes in
Africa"
Although a large map OF Africa
hung at the back OF the platform
from which Artemus spoke. he de-
voted little time 20 the subject.
Joke after joke followed TO the vast
delight OF the audience. AT the end
Artemus would point TO the map and
say something like this:
Africa is on the map. It's on all
the maps OF Africa / have ever seen.
You may buy a good map of Africa
for a dollar. II you will study Il
well you will know more about
Africa than / do. II is a compre-
hensive subject-too-I feel that
feel deeply, and I am very sensitive.
II you 90 home and go 10 bed-it
will be better for you than 20 so
with me 10 Africa
So infectious was Artemus' per-
sonality that the audience invariably
laughed aloud at this end OF their
hopes-just as they had laughed al
his many jCkes-and trooped OUT,
voting the lecture a great success.
It was at one OF these lectures in
Philadelphia that DR.. Kingston, so
we are told in Don G. Seitz's chatty
biography again met Artemus
Ward. and there was formed an as
ISOLATION which took the humorist
all over this country and abroad.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-11-11
Markets and Financial News

many longs deemed It prudent t.
realize on their holdings. Despite
continued dry weather in the south
west and general falling of in re-
ceipts. buying power dwindled. and
the surplus offerings In the pit prov
ed hard 20 digest.
Enlarged country offerings Of corn
were reported. and II was predicted
that receipts would increase after
November 20 when reduced freight
rates go into effect. oats were gov
erned by corn.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-11-11

shown empty. and the hand IL placed
beneath table. Three marks are
drawn on top OK the table with the
end OF burned match. or three IT.
tie clusters OF cigaret ash may be
used. The right hand wipes away
the marks. tho left IS withdrawn
and the marks are found transferred
20 the center Of the left palm.
Three similar marks were prevl-
ously made on three OF che left m
gernaiis. Thus the left palm was
shown empty. but by merely clench-
Ing the FIST beneath the table the
marks were hrourht fnfo IRE palm
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-11-11
CHICAGO PRoDUCE.

CHICAGO. Nov 10.-BUTTER-Cream
cry extras 42hac; standards 37%c; hrsts
35c641c; seconds 33G54c.
EGGS-Ordinarie 43G47c; arsts 5Sd
soc.
CHEESE-Twins 1914 @191sc; Ameri-
cas- 201km21Ac
POULTRY-Fowls 15G PC: ducks 26c
geese 23e; turkeys 33c; ROSTERS 1915
springs PC.
POTATOES-Re % cars North
ern whites S11Om1 s.: bulk $1.75d2 Red
River Ohios $1.35G1.65.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-11-11
PITTSBURG LIVE STOCK.

PITTSBURG. Nov. 1O.-CATTLE-Re
ceipts light: market steady. Choice $50
az; good SG.5067; fair s6OG7: yea
calves S12612j0.
SHEEP AND LAMBS-Receipts light
market steady. Prime wethers SAG0G5
good s4.J064.7J; fair mixed S3.J06I42 %
lambs S069.25
H0GS-R Receipts % double decks: mar
ket higher. Prime heavy $7.J0G7C5; me
diums $S15GS25. heavy Workers SS15n
S25; light Workers SS.40ds.5O; pigs SS.4C
GS.J0 roughs SGd6J0; stays S4@5.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-11-11

RECEIPTS 225: market slow. Prime steers Sc
az. shipping steers SSM0: butcher
grades STdS.I5 helfers S450Q7.5o; cows
S1.50d550: bulls S3G5J0: feeders $5G
$50; milk COWS and stringers S40di35.
CALNES-Re Receipts go; market slow.
Gull TO choice S5613
SHEEP AND LAMB-Receipts 1000
market active. Choice lambs S9.25fle 70
Gull TO fair SO 1919; yearlings s4G6.50
sheep S1.50d47j.
HOGS-Receints 20SO: market strong.
Workers $3.50 SIS; pigs $50; mixed IS
MS25; heavy $SdS10.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-11-11

INDIANAPOLIS. Nov 10.-HOGS-Re-
ceipts 300; market steady. 40c higher
Top IS; hesvies ST.30eT.5O: lights s7.T56
30; pigs 81 S0ds: bulk s735d775
Receipts 1900: market slow
but steady. Choice heavies S7.50d $50 !:
lights S5dT..50 heifers s5as5o; COWS
80; bulls IS calves S3d425
SHEEP-Recei pts $50: market steady.
Prime sheep SldS3; lambs S5.5Ods50.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-11-11
NOON GRAIN RFyTEW

CHICAGO. Nov. 10-Grain prices were
generally lower on the Chicago board OF
trade today principally due TO the bear
ish government crop report of yesterday.
Renorts of the huge supply of corn had
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-11-11
No. 22-Three Erased Marks Re
stored.
The palm OF the left hand Is

the tendency 70 drag other grains down
ward In sympathy. Provisions were low
or also.
December wheat opened az 1854. OF
= and later gained y. May wheat open
eel of = at 11ls and dropped an add
tional a by noon.
December corn opened = lover at ~
and slid of e May corn opened or q az
522, and declined a at noon.
December oats opened at 32iz. OF a..
and remained the same az midday. May
later.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-11-11

CHICAGO. Nov. 10-WHEAT-No.
har 1.07L No. hard LOG.
CORS-NO. 1 yellow AN G46c; No.
yellow 4711m46; No. L mixed 46A d4T
No mixed 40Lad47h.
CBOVER-Sl2MlS.5O.
OATS-NO. 3 white Si15G33; No. +.
white 3Oa33.
BARLEY-53d5 SIC.
Timothy $4.50@5.50.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-11-11

"a; second 4I's-s444: third { u =
-ss.5s: fourth 4A's-s4.62; nth
"a 's-9e.72.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-11-11
To Him Who Waits.

Rub-Jenkins and his wife have
been married 35 years. and now she
has sued him for divorce.
Dub-Patient, wasn't she?
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-11-11
CHICAGO GRAIN OPENING.

CHICAGO, Nov. 10.-WHEAT-Dec
of &c: May off sc.
CORN-Dec of sc: May of Ne.
OATS-Dec. nominal. May OF &c.
PR0YISlONS-Irregfular.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-11-11

Some Wives Are Unreasonable.
North-Your wife objects 20 your
smoking?
West-Yes-and I've sworn off no
less than a dozen times. too!
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-11-11
TRADING IN STOCKS
UNUSUALLY ACTIVE
FOR HOLIDAY
Greater Part of Business Cen
tiers in the Speculative
Issues.

NEW YORK. Nov. 1O.-Tradins
In stocks Thursday was unusually
active for a pre-holiday session. bu.
the greater part OF the business con
tinued to center in speculative is
sues. further profit taking causing an
irregular 10 heavy tone.
Oils, secondary steels, coppers and
kindred base metals. chemicals and
the cheaper motors and their spe-
cialties Over-shadowed all other is
sues, but gains OF variable extent
, were largely or wholly cancelled
later.
Rails Show Restraint.
Rails manifested occasional re-
straint as a result of the pressure
directed against certain favorites.
including Great Northern and North
ern Pacific. Announcement that the
raj way executives were formulating
lower wage program also reduced
interest in that group. Sales amount
cd TO S25, 900 shares.
Reversing it's usual course, the
money market opened with a firm
tone, call loans being made at IL
percent This rate was reduced to
five percent before the close and
time funds covering 30 and 90 day
requirements were IN better supply.
Italian Rate Down.
Dealings in foreign exchange were
small, aside from purchases Of ster-
ling and Paris bills. The Italian
rate continued TO decline and Ger
man marks lost much of yesterdays
recovery. but scandinavian QUOTA
tions were higher. notably the Dan
.sl rate.
Liberty issues closed at mixed
gains and losses, railroad issues were
mostly reactionary and information
ais again lacked a definite tone.
Total sales (par value) s16,s75, 900.
CHICAGO, Nov 10.-Material set
backs in the value Of grain took
place today, largely as a result of
the government report showing Z.
huge supply Of old and new corn.
The close in wheat although unset
tied was one TO 1 rs net lower with
December 104 SIS to 104 "a and
May 100 "a TO 100 rs Corn lost
3-S to l IL and oats IA a 3-S
to 1-2 a. SIS. Provisions finished
| 10 to SOC down.
With record breaking farm re-
serves I'm corn officially confirmed
bearish sentiment as TO all grain APP
peared 70 have developed to a con-
siderable degree. This circumstance
! was so noticeable that in view OF
five days preceding the advance,
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-11-11
No Others.

North-Has Alice any of the old
fashioned virtues?
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-11-11

Four of the Great Lakes touch
the state OF Michigan.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-11-11
It's Being Overdone.

Wife (determinedly)-I've a few
questions I want TO ask you.
Hubby-Oh come! Don't make
light OF Mr.. Edison any longer,
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-11-11

Try NEWS-TIMES Want Ads
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-11-11
Stock M2rket Selling
Prices At The Close

NEW YORK, Nov 1O.-Last quo
tations on the stock exchange al
I'm ~ ~, today vraras
The Snyder signal. (Snyder, Tex.) 1887-????, 1921-03-04
MIR. AND MRS. MONROE
HOPKINS PLAYERS

Who will open a weeks engage
ment at the Cozy Theatre Monday
March 7th, are reported to be doing
a big business in Post this week. In
talking to parties that saw the show
there, they speak very highly of 1t.
They say 1t is by far the best show
they have ever had in the town. Also
that the plays are new and up to the
minute and are free from anv smut
or yulgarity.
The Methodist Minister Of Post
gives his opinion of the show as fol-
lows: The Mr.. and Mrs. Monroe Hop
kins players are one of the best, most
I have ever had the privileg of wit
refined and cleanest stock companys
Messing.
The opening play will be THE
Brat" II is a new comedy-drama
with plenty of humor, also glimpse
OF life in New York society circles.
The Snyder signal. (Snyder, Tex.) 1887-????, 1921-03-04
Epworth League Program.

Subject: Thy kingdom come in our
church.
Leader, Miss Georgia Bolin.
Song, "All Hail the Power of Je-
sus Name"
Repeating OF the Lords prayer.
Scripture reading: Col. 1924. Mr..
Ware.
Repeating OF verses by League
members.
Song "If / could but tell it all"
Piano solo, Helen Boren.
Leaders talk.
Address by Pastor: THY King
lone come in the pulpit.
Address by Mr.. Curry: "Thy king
ON come in the church school"
Address by Mrs. Higgins: "The
vomanhood of the church
Address by Miss May: "They king
ON come in the League"
Song, when you Know Jesus
Too"
League Benediction.
The Snyder signal. (Snyder, Tex.) 1887-????, 1921-03-04
DIR. FIFE ON THOMAS MONROE.

The great audience who heard DR..
Fife the First Christian church.
preach the funeral Of Thomas Monroe
will he pleased to read what he said.
Many who came and could not get
into the church at all, will especially
appreciate reading this.
The evangelist entered the church
at the head of the procession to the
altar, quoting from the promises Of
God, beginning with II am the res
direction and the life. He that be-
lieyeth in me, tho he wer) dead, yet
shall he live again" Then the pass
age Let not your hearts be trou-
bled. Ye believe in God believe also in
me-" Also and John, saw the holy
city. the new Jerusalem, coming down
from God out of heaven, prepared as
a bride adorned for her husband.
And there was no more sea- Also at
is sown natural body. 1t is raised
a spiritual body" Then the evangel-
list spoke briefly as follows:
ION December 3Oth. 1905, little
son came to the home of Mr.. and
Mrs. Joe Monroe. All the music of
life, came with that little fellow and
The Snyder signal. (Snyder, Tex.) 1887-????, 1921-03-04
At the First Christian Church

Our hearts are saddened by the
death OF one OF our young members,
Bro. Thomas Monroe. This is another
swift and terrible reminder to us all
of the uncertainty OF life and the
certainty of death. What young man
will arise and say like the young
Samuel of old, Speak Lord, for thy
servant heareth" and take his place
in the church? Our sincerest sympa-
thy is extended to the broken hearted
amily and friends.
Help us have one hundred in at
enhance at the Sunday school Sunday
The Snyder signal. (Snyder, Tex.) 1887-????, 1921-03-04
WITH THE
CHURCHES
Methodist Church.

Sunday school wants you next Sun
day At the close we will receive
class into the church. The Sunday
school had a very fine service last
Sunday, seven of our pupils declar-
ed themselves for Christ. Let us keep
praying for other conversions.
Preaching at 11:00.
Epworth League 6:15.
We will not have preaching at the
evening hour, but will go to the
Baptist church 10 worship with them
We do this out of friendly cooper
tion with that church and to express
a glad welcome of their new pastor
into our city.
We are always glad to have you in
our services.
]. II. Hicks, Pastor.
The Snyder signal. (Snyder, Tex.) 1887-????, 1921-03-04

They called him Thomas McCauley
7lonroe.
AT the age of six, he skipped away
one morning to SCHOOL, time that
comes in the life of every child, a
turning point.
when he was nine, God moved up
on the limpid waters of his boyish
soul. like the sunshine that falls in
kisses on the silvery waters of the
placid sea, and he was buried with
Christ in Christian baptism to arise
to life OF his redeemer in a boys
own way.
LAS he grew to young manhood. he
increased in the favor OF his friends
and in the knowledge of his Lord and
Redeemer Sunshine was on his face
and kindly, thoughtful word for
those whom he met, most especially
for those whose heads were silvered
over with gray, whose step was feeble
and faltering on the journey to the
evening OF life where life's sun should
go down with a flaming ray and fold
it's wings in a sea OF golden light.
Stricken at sixteen with typhoid
dark, grim death was on him and
struck him down. He was sanguine in
the Lope of full recovery. His loved
The Snyder signal. (Snyder, Tex.) 1887-????, 1921-03-04

ones left all and hurried to his bed
side Every care was given. Bravely
did he struggle. Thro the last long
night he suffered until he could go
no farther. So he used his burden
for a pillow and just where night
touches morning, fell asleep in the
arms OF his redeemer. The tragedy
of life was ended, the curtain rung
down on life's stage and the loving
family and friends sat among the
golden pillars of memmory keeping
watch with the dead.
And now the time has come to bid
farewell, to sit en- masse around his
casket, to cover his grave with sweet
flowers. the loveliest blooms into
which God ever gave fragrance with
out putting into each a soul, and
water these flowers with our tears,
knowing that love keeps memory
green forever.
THE life OF our loved and loving
brother teaches us that they that
seek me early shall find me. In sim
pie child-like faith he accepted the
precious promises and never was his
trusting heart torn asunder by tho
storms and overwhelming floods of
doubt.
Faithful above his companions,
The Snyder signal. (Snyder, Tex.) 1887-????, 1921-03-04

morning, at 9:45. A class for every
one and everyone in his class.
The morning sermon will be IAN
on the Altar" and at night God Call
ng to Man"
Are you the head OF home? How
can you expect your wife and chill
dren to do right when they have
a blind guide? Do you know that in
the second generation from you, your
children will be entirely infidel and
that this sin will be laid at your
door now? Come, men, let us reason
together.
Your faithful servant over,
Clyde Lee Fife.
The Snyder signal. (Snyder, Tex.) 1887-????, 1921-03-04

he came on Sunday morning to the
house of God and entered into the
courts OF praise. II others We're alb
sent from his class, he kept 10 his
task and place.
At the communion oft he helped
to pass the emblems of the broken
I ] ody and shed blood of the redeem
Lord.
In the affection he had for his
mother, he teaches lesson to all
Dung men everywhere to tenderly re-
gard her who had first loved him. A
mother loves her son before he is
born. carries him under her heart,
dreams dreams of love, and his con-
quest of honor and victory and keeps
green his memory until she meets
him on the resurrection morning.
I'VE learn from his life here that
faith is the victory that overcomes
the world A father who has ever
had even one son can know and
understand forever the anguish OF
this fathers heart broken and be-
reaved today. When, in the long. last
dark night, the wine of his life was
slowly and surely ebbing away, he
looked into the face OF his father
and said I'm ready, Dad. I'm ready.
And oh. for the toush of a van
The Snyder signal. (Snyder, Tex.) 1887-????, 1921-03-04
At the Presbyterian Church.

Do you believe that the nature OF
Christ is manifest in his impress on
civilization?
Next Sunday l shall show that the
above and individual Christian expe-
rience are evidences of His Deity.
Sunday school hour is 9:45 a. m.
Be prompt. Don't make anyone wait
on you.
No evening service, as we will Wis
II the Baptist brethren and join them
in a hearty Christian welcome to
their new pastor Let everyone who
can attend and let the wholesome
spirit of Christian brotherhood pre-
vail in Snyder.
c. G.. Wright, Pastor.
The Snyder signal. (Snyder, Tex.) 1887-????, 1921-03-04
ADVERTISE YOUR PRO
DUCTS FOR SALE

A plan that Is being adopted with
rood results I'm many localities IN
tbe older sections among the farmers
especially those located on the main
highways where there is a good deal
of travel between towns is 10 post
neatly painted signs along the ROAD
Eating what you have for sale. But
ter. eggs. poultry fruit in season
butter milk, fresh and cured pork
meats. vegetables. breeding stock
eggs for setting. in fact anything you
have for sale This method can be EN-
ployed to good advantage especially
bv those farmers who live on the
roads that carry the automobile trav-
/. I
Then don't forget your local pa
per is the best medium to help sell
nything you have especially In sea-
son. Now is the time 10 dispose OF
your surplus work stock, farm nipple
ments, breeding hogs, chickens and
dairy cattle, farm seed and any thing
lse OF use and value. Remember your
local paper reaches where you cannot
possibly go.
scurry County Chamber OF Com.
The Snyder signal. (Snyder, Tex.) 1887-????, 1921-03-04

The Chamber of Commerce wishes
everyone who has vacant house for
rent to advise the secretary thereof
as threre is a continuous call for
them. Also anyone who has a place
for @le on monthly installments. All
land owners are likewise requested
to list any farms they may have for
rent. Do not phone the Secretary but
either come in person or write an ex-
PLANTATION of what you have. 3S
The Snyder signal. (Snyder, Tex.) 1887-????, 1921-03-04
q AEA8 Clyde !|E ''|'F' sunday NM

iihed hand and the sound OF q voice
tAat is sulled. The home is broken
the church is poorer and who snail
take his place? Brother Thomas how
we miss you. for your voice we near
10 more. But again we hope to meet
YOU. on that bright and shining
ehore."
The Snyder signal. (Snyder, Tex.) 1887-????, 1921-03-04

Ask those who have secured their
money through US, the kind OF SER
vice we gave on their loans, ask
your neighbor. Dodson-Taylor Real
ty Company. 50
The Snyder signal. (Snyder, Tex.) 1887-????, 1921-03-04

Mr.. and Mrs. f. II. Taylor have re-
turned from Dallas where they have
been for the past few months. Mr..
Taylor is feeling better from a spell
OF sickness while there.
The Snyder signal. (Snyder, Tex.) 1887-????, 1921-03-04
STOP THAT ITCHING.

Use Blue Star Eczema Remedy for
itch, cracked hands. letter, eczema,
ring worm and sores on children.
Sold on a guarantee by Stinson Drug
The Snyder signal. (Snyder, Tex.) 1887-????, 1921-03-04

Earnest Taylor and wife will leave
Sunday for Knoxville, Tenn, to Wis
St for some two or three weeks with
! the latlers parents.
The Snyder signal. (Snyder, Tex.) 1887-????, 1921-03-04

Get your cakes pies, chickens ana
all kinds OF goodies for Sunday din
ner from Parent-Teacher Association.
The Snyder signal. (Snyder, Tex.) 1887-????, 1921-03-04

Mr.. and Mrs. A. NJ. McBurnett OF
Brownfield visited Mrs. McBurnett's
father Mr.. S. r. Fickas this week.
The Snyder signal. (Snyder, Tex.) 1887-????, 1921-03-04

Mrs. T.. c. Neeley left this week
with her baby girl for Temple TO
put her under further treatment.
The Snyder signal. (Snyder, Tex.) 1887-????, 1921-03-04

Every school boy knows what o.
X. means. Buy a sack OF o. X. Meal
and make the test. Snyder Mill and
Coal Co. 3Sp.
The Snyder signal. (Snyder, Tex.) 1887-????, 1921-03-04

We want your loans. We get you
the money now. See us DouSou
Taylor Realty Co. So
The Snyder signal. (Snyder, Tex.) 1887-????, 1921-03-04

Walter Davis OF Sweetwater was
n Snyder Wednesday on business
nd visiting relatives.
The Snyder signal. (Snyder, Tex.) 1887-????, 1921-03-04

A good rain fell Monday and the
round is in splendid good shape for
lanting.
The Snyder signal. (Snyder, Tex.) 1887-????, 1921-03-04

/ On ne,
IA. there
G Lodge
! past m.
n oyster
\ A. ].