davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-04-07

Lesson Iv.-How to write limericks: The
limerick is SO easy to write that several states
are considering legislation that will make the
production of a limerick a felony. A limerick
consists of five anapestic lines, three are three
rin1e. First take a word that will rhyme easily.
The world place will do. Now. here's your
limerick:
He went into a bootlegger's place,
He thought that he needed a brace.
He painted his nose,
The sidewalk arose,
And hit the poor man in the face.
But the main object of the limerick is to make
a play on odd words and names Of places. The
word Sioux" for instance, has been hmer1cked
9s7, 654.321 times and always in this fashion:
His wife ran away with a Sioux,
And he's in a fine how-de-dioux.
She took all his dough,
And he's chuck full of wough,
No wonder the poor man feels bhoux!
Get the idea! Select a lot of fool words from
a dictionary and you'll have no trouble writing
thirty limericks a minute. But, unless you are
a good fighter or a fast runner, do not read them
10 other people. In the next lesson we'll show
you how to write funny stories.
Gosh, we almost forgot to tell you that Jenney
Beet and Beecher Poe were married in Hickory
Valley, Tenn, last week.
Our Daily Special.
Many a Man Who Isn't Polished Can See His
Luke McLuke Says
When the daily before-going-out kiss gets to
he a quick peck at the side of the jaw, the
Honeymoon has gone to the races.
Even II you let your wife have her own way
she'll find some excuse for starting a battle
every now and then.
In her search for the Ideal Man a Young
Thing passes up a whole lot of Real Men.
You may not believe it, but dry goods bills
were smaller in the days when they wore hoop
skirts than they are in these days of narrow,
kneelength skirts.
We expect that members of the Anti Every
thing League will be disguised If they ever get
to Heaven. There won't be anything to kick
about UP there.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-04-07
BITS OF BYPLAY
BY Luke McLuke.
Copyright. 1920. by The Cincinnati Enquirer.
Bang!

One hand was all he used to steer
The other arm Rugged Myrtle;
They felt a skid, and, oh dear:
The doggone car turned turtle.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-04-07

Some girls talk more than others. But VIVA
wa started to tell you was that May Remark Is
a public stenographer in Mt. Vernon, ONO.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-04-07

Appearance deceive" said Burns,
AS you'll learn after tests;
You'll And some mighty bum cigars
Are wearing rich gold vests"
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-04-07
he Naked r,

Most bashful of all lasses.
Is modest Mary Pound;
She won't take off her glasses
When there are men around.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-04-07
OH

why do you call this delicious strawberry
preparation a shortcake?" asked the English
man.
because it doesn't last long," replied the
American.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-04-07
Oh. Joy

You can find A. Nice Restaurant on North
High street, Columbus, Ohio. And IT mas a
Nice proprietor. That's his name.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-04-07
Ouchs

Wa it ignorance Of the law That got you
into this place? % asked the Sob Sister VINO was
visiting the penitentiary.
Nav" replied Convice 77,777, ut wuz the
ignorance of my lawyers"
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-04-07

A. NJ. Blue, manager of the Strand Theatre
Tampa, Fla, has just joined the Anti-Blue Law
League Of America.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-04-07
Paw Knows EVERYTHING

Willie-Paw, what is q demagogue?
Paw-A demagogue Is a man who Is Always
on the other side, my son.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-04-07

More deserving a man is OF criticism, the less
he likes it.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-04-07

Luke McLuke Saws

Many a Man Who Isn't Polished Can See H
Own Finish.
New-York tribune., 1921-03-13
Victor Herbert Wins
Legal Battle to Save Home
After Three Year Fight Com
poser Is Upheld by Decision
of ADpeIlate Division

Victor Herbert, the composer, was
successful in the Appellate Division
Yesterday ma three year fight to pro
tect his residence, at 321 West 108th
Street, from foreclosure or other pro-
ceeding under a tax lien which, Mr..
Herbert contended, was satisfied long
ago.
The city sold the tax lien against the
property of Mr.. Herbert in 1912 to the
Tax Lien Company, with which WAS
connected William Lustgarten. a law
yer. who since has been convicted of
grand larceny. The lien was trans
ferred to the Rudolph Wallach Com
pany and Mr.. Herbert was notified of
the lien
He sent check for 5000 to August
Weyman, attorney for the two COM
panies. Subsequently Warren ". Err
win e. Co., bankers, produced an assign
ment of the lien which they had re-
ceived from the Tax Lien Company
The composer informed the bankeL
New-York tribune., 1921-03-13

'Iromotons was sent in and referred to
'hS committee OH Military Affairs.
fhe army promotions were un to and
including lieutenant colonels.
The Republicans and several Demo-
gratis, including Senators Ransdell and
broussard, of Louisiana, voted for
Marvin Several sharp Democratic
speeches were made by Senator Walsh.
OF Montana, and others. against con
nlma.ion. The basis for them was that
MARVIN is an extreme high protection
lst, and therefore not in position 10
prepare impartial government figures
or tariff.
My Husband. whom the President
has appointed Commissioner OF Immi
grafton, has given years of study to
Immigration problems. he came to
ashIngton In 1902 as secretary to
Senator Dillingham; and in 1905 became
secretary of the immigration Commits
sion. He became its executive secre
tary and general manager of its in
vestigations. 1t made an elaborate re-
port, IN the preparation OF which Mr.
husband had large cart After the
work OF TIE commission was completed
Secretary af Commerce Nagel took Mr.
Husband INTO the department as an ad-
wiser on subjects relating to immigra
ton. he remained few years and re-
tired
Through the war he was IN REQ
Cross WORK and lately he has been
studying Immigration problems in Rus
s.a. the Balkans and Central Europe
He had large part II revising the I'M
migration laws in 1905
Colonel Miller succeeds Francis 7
Garvan and takes charge Of about
81 900, 100000 worth OF enemy-owre d
property seized during the war. A
Mitchell Palmer held this office before
he was appointed Attorney General.
IN the pre- convention campaign Col
onel Miller WAS one Of the Eastern
managers o. Major General Leonard
Woods campag. for the Republican
Presidential nomination. After Mr.
Harding was nominated he became
Eastern director Of the speakers bu-
reau Of the Republican National Com
mittee In 1917 he left the House OF
Representatives. to enter the army and
returned from overseas lieutenant
colonel.
IN 1916 i WAS Custodian Miller whc
placed before the Republican conven.
tion the name Of General Coleman Du
Pont, OF Delaware. for the Presidential
nomination. General Du Pont was one
OF those who Endorsed Colonel Miller
fo- h new post
New-York tribune., 1921-03-13

was issued to-day by President Har-
ding.
The President declared that, although
the nation already had given literally
to the relief committee, the fund still
was entirely inadequate for the task
AT this, the earliest practical mo-
ment of my administration said the
Presidents statement, 81 desire to add
my own to the many appeals which
have been issued heretofore in behalf
of the starving people of large sec
ton of China.
Il am informed that the American
committee and the church and other
organizations cooperating with it have
already remitted several millions of
dollars to the American and interna-
tlonal relief committees in China. and
that already great relief work has
been accomplished. Nevertheless. my
information is THAI the means thus far
placed at the command of these organi-
cations are entirely inadequate to the
task they confront.
Since the beginning of this relief
movement much more accurate under
standing of the grave situation has be-
come possible The Department of
State has from time to time made pub
lie information received through its
representatives in China as TO the CON
ditions prevailing there. The picture
New-York tribune., 1921-03-13

of Chinas distress is so tragic that
am moved, therefore. to renew the ap-
peals heretofore made and to express
the hope that the American people will
continue to contribute to this humani-
tartan cause as generously as they pos
sibly can.
''The cry for succor comes to us
from a people far distant, but linked
to US by manifold ties Of friendly asso-
citation. confidence and good will. The
American nations has never failed tc
demonstrate its, friendship for the peo-
pie of China, and that friendship has
always been reciprocated in manner
which | feel justified the hope that in
this hour Of China's distress our peo-
pie will do everything in their power
for It's amcl ioration
New-York tribune., 1921-03-13
Judge Tiernan Sues City for
Damage Done bv S. /. TreIlev

County Judge J. Harry Herman, of
Richmond, filed suit yesterday for
s99885 against the City of New York
for damages he alleges he sustained
when his automobile collided with a
municipality operated trolley car at
Port Richmond, S. l.. January 10 last
In his complaint, Judge Tiernan char
acterizes the municipal operation of
trollies as "a notorious public nuisance
70 the city, the public. the taxpayers
and others Of Staten Island"
New-York tribune., 1921-03-13
New Y ork Woman Gets Year
In Jail for Fraudulent Divorc.

I \lANCASTER Pa. March i2.-Mrs
Mary Rettger Bennett, of New York,
was sentenced to one year IN the Ian
caster County jail by Judge Lands
here to-day. She was found guilty of
obtaining a divorce by fraudulent
methods at recent term of court. A
fine of 800 and costs were imposed
Many letters attesting to her excel
lent character were presented TO the
Judge, but he nevertheless imposed
the sentence.
New-York tribune., 1921-03-13

that he had paid off the Len. The
bankers stated they had made a loan
and accepted the line as security
In finding in favor of Mr. Herbert the
Appellate Division sustained the de-
cision of Justice Cohalan that the bank
ers, having accepted the lien without
investigation, could not compel the
composer to pay for their own care
lessness
New-York tribune., 1921-03-13
Brodie Leads Editors

ST ACGru7SS!ISE Fla, March r.
Z. E. Brodie, of Oregon City, Ore, was
elected president of the National Edito-
rial Association at to-day's session here
Of the annual convention. J. c. Brib-
lecem, of Massachusetts, was elected
ce-president, and H. c. Hotaling, of
Minnesota, executive secretary All
members of the executive committee
were reelected Selection of the next
convention city was left to the execu-
tive committee
New-York tribune., 1921-03-13

tion meeting to-day. He also was
luncheon guest, when ne met the uni-F
versity council, Mayor fitzgerald. three
representatives Of the alumni and threa,
representatives Of the undergraduate
body. He departed for the South later
in the dav
New-York tribune., 1921-03-13
Harding Calls
On Nation to
Feed Chinese
President Issues Statement
to American People Ito
DO Everything in Their
Power for the Sufferers
Terms China Our Friend
Says She Is Linked to u.
by Manifold Ties of Con
hdence and Good VIII"

WASHINGTON, March 12.-An an
peal to the American people to "do
everything in their power" toward +bo
relief of famine conditions in Cbina
New-York tribune., 1921-03-13
Dr. Angel Attends First
Yale CORPORATION Meeting

NEW HAVEN, March i2.-Dr. james
Rowland Angel, president-elect of Yale
University, attended his first corpora
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1921-01-26
.F0RFE|TS HIS BAH
IN MURDER trial.
Defendant Absent When caI,.
With % Others in West
Virginia Court
MOVE MADE TO QUAsu
BY the Associated Press

y Ta''s3n' n. W va. Jan % n
iho HIIsS,,, ,,,' ollL Negro defendant i,
tnJo" nJ ,'".mT" ,i;,i "n ,rlalS which opened bo,,
wns noIInJ Ii ,a", uuPprar whom his nom,
y n d. ill., ~ N',''ilt Ourt, and Jud..
fei,oJ ''i'H III u'ciar"d his bond fos''
in nnuhcr ino,,TiancrS;; mJ liners; twenty.nns
wbo was soryim. i'.'a'i,,E LUZ T. I. McCovl
snult onevornL3 ~ "., sentence for a..
CouhscI ror ,hn ' ~ ol tue clerk
thc indictmo,,, "cltllST asked thai
prounJ tbnt port Sn uuuSn'd on ths
Of thc grand inv '';,,n''' m,LinI member
indictments wo, not """m returned thc
Virginia whom ,bn oGon' n's'"rht OF West
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1921-01-26
HARDING PLAYS GOLF
President.Elect Plays Over Fort
Pierce Links

Fort Pierce. Fla. Jan. 2G.-CBy A..
Pl-Colf attracted President elect
Harding ashore from his houseboat. the
Victoria. again today. tn" vacation
marty putting in here early in the day.
rmn for round Of Fort Pierce links.
II was midday before the journey south
ward was resumed and Indications were
that the Victoria would not reach Palm
Beach until tomorrow. SO far golf has
hcrn the only recreation Of the I'r,~i-
Jrnt elect and his companions since
thry left St. Augustine Saturday.
Fishing is to be- big feature Of the
vacation trip before II is over. but for
the present they prefer TO spend their
hours aboard their hoUscboat lounging
on deck. 1t is likely that before turn
ing northward on tn" return trip they
will spend several days on the fishing
grounds near Miami.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1921-01-26
BUSINESS CENTER OF AV0CA,
MINING TOWN. FlRE-SWEPT
Flames Starting in Opera House
Cause Loss Of $t5o,ooo

Scranton. Pa, Jan. ". .--iBy a. ~
Fires starting in the Sarsticld ID Opera
IInuso at Avoca. near here early today.
swcut the business heart of the mining
town and caused n loss est imated at
S15O. 600. F'iremcn worked IN zero
weather. Fire companies from Moosic.
Old Forge, Duryca. Lawrcnccvillc and
pittston responded to the call for help.
The opera house was quickly a mass
Of flames. Flying cmbcrs spread over
wide section OF the town and the
roofs of twenty buildings were blazing
at one time.
Next TO the opera house was the resi-
dence of DR.. Doughcrty. This was
burned rapidly. The residence and
store of James Brown. the rec-story
hotel buildings of NJ. }. Calvcy and
John Sabbatelli, another thrcc-s story
building occupied by W. &. Kryzwicki
as general store, Woods cOnfcCtion
ery. MCAndrcws. cigars and Confcc-
lioncry, also were destroyed
Mrs. William Burns. an invalid. was
carried from one building to another
and later her rcscuCrs had TO carry hcI
TO another place of safety.
Furniture and store goods were movcG
from score Of buildings The fir,
was brought under control after fOul
hours OF effort.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1921-01-26
CRAIG MAY LEAD ULSTER
viii Accept Premiership If Choice
Is Unanimous

LOnd0n. Jan. 2G.-(Ry \. P.)-Sir
James Craig. who has been prominent
in the councils Of the Ulster tnionsts
for many years, has accepted an offer
from the Ulster dcrutation now visit
ing in London TO put his name before
tho loyal people Of the six countiCs'
for election as their leader. provided
his selection should meet with the
unanimous approval of the Ulster
Inonist Council.
\ meeting of the standing committee
Of the council will he held in Belfast
February ! to consider the question.
it was announced today.
\ London dispatch Tuesday night
carricd tho news thar Sir Edward Car
son. the Ulster lnionist leader. had
declined the premiership of the new
Ulster parliament which had been Of
fcrcd him by an Ulster dcputation in
London
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1921-01-26
Mills Explains Transfer

Superintendent Of Police Mills to
day answered pr"t"StS Of citizen
against the transfer Of Patrolman Lem
ucl Rasrhcr. from til" Fourth and Yor
streets station to the Eighth and Irf
fcrson streets station Superintendent
Mills praised the record of patroma
Raschrr. and denying that the patrol
man had been transferred for polite;
reasons, declared his services wei
needed in tho district 10 which he Ia
been assigned.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1921-01-26
Condition Of Highways
Throughout State Todoy

Lincoln Highway CTrcnton to
Chambcrsburg) Poor beyond Get
tysburg fair in Bucks and Lancas'
ter counties :: good elsewhere.
William Penn Highway (Easton
to Chambcrsburg) Generally good.
One milo unimprovcd near Allen
town. but this is in fair condition
baltimore pike philadelphia,
Kcnnctt Square md Oxford): All
in good condition.
Philadelphia and Reading pix" {:
All in good condition.
Lancaster and Harrisburg pike !:
Fair in Lancaster county, good in
Dauphin.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1921-01-26
IRISH WITNESS DISAPPEARS
Court. Martial in Death Of British
officer Is Halted

Dublin. Jan. 2G.--tHy \. rD-Thr
mv.trrouS disappearance OF IL witness
caused halt today in tho court martial
uf Frank Tccling, WiIlram conway,
Dauicl IIcaly and Edward Potter for
the murder Of Licut"uau, NuyliS,,
whose assumed name was MurMuhou.
lie WAS one Of III" fourteen officers
Killed here November II. The crown
COUNSEL applied for an adjournment un-
til Friday ON the ground that the prin-
cipa witness, who shared Lieutenant
AnglisS' rooIl when he WAS shot and
killed. could not be- found.
The witness left England for Dublin
yesterday, counsel said.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1921-01-26
TO OPERATE ON DR.. SHALLOW

DR.. Thomn~ Shallow, first assistant
t" l'r. j. {. Da' '"Sta, surgeon at tho
jefferson Medical College, will himself
h" operated upon ut the institution for
IN affection Of the jaw, The operation
will b" performed by DR.. John Gibbons
within th" next few days.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1921-01-26

I.. auuUi a~~ooiatjou uI Prrr,
>ruouI Of Business Administration hoid
ill., unulal reunion aud dane" in the
InIluoum ol the RiDI-Caritun last night
ruc mljoriry Of the 1000 members Of tho
i.-su,ialiou were present.
Prior to the dance an entertainment
and musical recital were given by scy
eral Of the members. Following the
dance buffet supper Mas served.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1921-01-26
WORE HELP FOR LLNH'RICK FANS
WHO HA We TROUBLE IN RHYINING
One Hundred Dollars Daily
For the Best Last Line Supplied by Any Reader OF the
Erening Public Ledger to the Incomplete
Limerick Which appears Beloc
RULES OF THE LIMERICK CONTEST

/. Contest is open to any one. All
that is required for YOU ~ do is to
write and send in your last lines to
the Limerick. using for convenience
tuc coupon printed below. Please
writr plainly, and be sure 10 add
your nam" and address.
y. All answers to the Limerick which
is printed below must be- received
at the odic" of the EVENING rUH-
Lie LEDGER by o'clock Fri
day evening. Monday and Thurs.
days LImnrickS should be mailed
20 T.. q. BOX 1923, PhiladcWhia {;
Tuesdays and Fridays to =. q.
Box 1921. and Wednesdays and
Saturday to +. q. Box 1874. An
>W,rS loft at thr office Of the EVE
NINc PUBLIC LEDGER will also be
admissible.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1921-01-26
DEATHS

'4@}%1%qf Ss.SIn1 q }a% h2p y l. 5{ jiscr s'', II
( gnd e. 81 THlyyr1r'n% INV, r1n%ss.nr sGT"CC=o CC=om@o3qd
=. a, NJ :, r@iirinI,hmI"Tt ~ TTrmplo 4. A. A5n1 o.
M 3d. 81 So iSyl,9i to fa@'rSm H. on q2e!3e@c SiS@c""
IaO ,. N, pry .'s@lN, caII 5aWII Friiay vycn
Pine ~, Friends ma, rein
: 10 O. Int. Arllhft"M = ,LE --lz--'
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1921-01-26
Letter, From Lin rich,r,

I rom VI. \. H.. g. D. g.. I'.... -..'.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1921-01-26

. The winner Of tho ONE HUN
DRED DOLLAR prize for the best
last line to each Limerick will he
announced one week after the Lin
crick is printed. For example. the
winner Of the prize for the I'm
crick which appears today Will DC
announced today week.
In case of ties, prizes will be
awarded to each successful con
tcstaut. For example. if the judges
decide there are two or more an
>w,rs Of equal merit for the nriHe'
the author of each answer VIII r." e
rcivc ONE HUNDRED DOL
LARS. The prize will not be SpIit
up among them.
. The decision of the judges in each
Limerick contest will be final.
ST WILL BE ANNOUNCED ONE
Grand Forks herald. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1916-1955, 1921-01-25
] fBy stan Correspondent.)'

g (By - i
2s-The report Of the aud Of the Bank of
be presented TO ts
presented house Of
wnl
cornintee appond by = T.
~ G. paesentns
accompanied Speaker L. TwicheH
Content OF
the Bank of Mort &
A mill at Drake. 4
"A report Me Home Builders association.
the Werknns COMPENSATION bureau
The port in als some page st&
will this
accou untants to invetigation5nan
Epect atenen
publ the will
probably "Wednesday morning; 8 :, -
Twichel
the be
completed,
Sullivan Mandan and FRANCIS Murphy Of Mno The plan Of
hearings will
definite
ment report will be made
ts5sr Twich
the representative
contains fun details gardng
require
present time account Of lack Of time
,h. @ s hs aass as % q t %sss
making audit Bank of North Dakota
st#5 q { s
Grand Forks herald. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1916-1955, 1921-01-25
SAYS ASSOCIATION
COULD NOT CONTROL.
PRICES OF LUMBER

Milwaukee. Wis. Jan 25.--"It
would be practically an impossbii;y
for the National Lumber Manufactur-
ers' association OF any other orsa Mia
tion to control either the output or the
prices of lumber if they should AT
tempt to do So according to O. 7.
Swan. Oshkosh. Wis. secretary of the
North Hemlock and Hardwood Manu-
facturers' association which will hold
its annual convention in Milwaukee
January 81. in reply to a query from
the convention division, Milwaukee
Association of Commerce.
Mr.. Swan makes this 1ecla ra ton il
refutation Of a statement widely pub
lished to the effect that the depart
nent Of justice is about to conduct an
investigation of nation wide conditions
in the lumber market based on re-.
port recently filed by the federal trade
commission.
In that report it was the inference
that the National Lumber association
is able to keep prices up by artificial
control. :
There are some 10000 mills in fhe
United States.'' said MIR. Swan. They
are in active competition. The south
ern states and north middle states are
in competition with the west. Lumber
from the south, west and north all
meet in active competition in this re-
giOn." -
Grand Forks herald. [volume] (Grand Forks, N.D.) 1916-1955, 1921-01-25
GEORGIA CITY
HAS BIG FIRE
Damage Estimated at $4,.
10000 Done in Athens
During Night. T..

Athens Georgia. Jan. 25.--A large
part of Athens downtown business
district was a mass Of smouldering
ruins today and it was estimated that
the fire which early this morning
swept clean three entire city blocks
and damaged adjoining buildings had
destroyed property valued at least $4,-
100000. No loss of life was report
ed.
The fire. of undetermined origin.
broke out shortly before midnight
and it was five hours before the corn
bined efforts OF firemen from this and
nearby cities succeeded in getting 1t
under control. At its height, the fire
appeared as If it would wipe out the
entire downtown section Of the city
and it was then that calls for outside
ssistance were sent.
Rapid spread Of the blaze was said
to have been due to the explosion OF
gasoline drums in one Of the first
buildings to be fired.
I Hundreds of persons struggled tt
save their property from the flame:
land the streets adjoining the fire were
soon iammed. E E#
Adding to the confusion and lifa.
culties was a weakened water suppl.
At' the fire plugs Thiss.s soon s,wa;
overcome, however. w:lef, .extfa ID
Iciliuessat the city reservoirs were
brought into play. 1t was dayligh,
before the confagration was safel,
under control. -,y, II. -