Putnam patriot. [volume] (Putnam, Conn.) 1872-1962, 1921-06-10
PATRICK PUTNAM, BEST MAN

Wen. MagdtIia. 81 this tine ssp-
pose you've been reading the accounts
- Mays and Bis wedding with see
acting and believe me. Maadeiia.
Il was some acting -as best man. And
one thing learned 30 that fraeas.
Aaudella. was that the definition q
best man" IN TIE dictionary ought 20
be common Or garden variety u
goat. I'm still lame ard halt and -
most blind from what I've beer
through. aaudeila. and about al I've
got to b. thankful for is that wasn't
the bridegroom. and take Il from ne.
grille. you aren't goinG % receive any
white cards reading marriage Of their
daughter 70 Mr Patrick Putnam Of
Putnam II I can see Il first Not
that I'm against this well known and
popular institution Of marriage for
them As cant help themselves, but
place my pen on record against the
way most folks persist IN doing II.
What | want 70 ask YOU Maudella.
is why you girls all try to stage sort
Of Ethel Barrymore production every
time you decide To get married.
There's Mary Sensible enough girl.
wedding days excepted. and Bill. good
scout but darned fool when it comes
70 Il ailI And as for MARY moth
ct. WY she should add "A sauitaridm
bill 10 ali that mans had - pas for IS
more than ] can understand tell
you, Haudella these marriages are
awful things, awful ON the folks get
ting married awful on the families,
and simply fierce 81 the best man, be-
heve me, Maudella
We'll. NaudefIa. the flMpas started
the night before tHe wedding Any
body that inn8eeBfiy happened to pass
MARY house would have known some
thing queer was going aa. ei,her m
epidemic or iife.-a -off of cross be-
tween the two Everybody $50. merry
and excited and gay eaa hHow the
kind Of gay ] mean, you pet 40 met up
about nothing at all and feel like you
must nave good time for -oon the
ice creams coming and tire partytfI be
over The only folks that wasn't gay
that night was Bill and Mar and they
looked as though they 0as preparing
what they would say when the chap
lain asked them II they had ans last
message for relatives and friends
Well Maudella. the wedding day
dawned bright and early and me 0.th
IL, Bill getting me up before any self
respecting cock started 70 crow IN or
der to see that he didn't cut himself
while welding his trusty gillette Ami
tdeH what a row An tie girls were
around laughing and gay gosh. hos
gay they were those girls, Maudeilat
And there was Mary's mother dong a
Marathon al over the place. and
Mary's father smoking big black
cigar and TRYING u look as though all
this expense didn't mean anything -
his y8uHa bank account. and the ash-
er getting under foot and the florists
gorine and the caterers catering ana
awning men EetfHF ready 10 hide the
perfectly good E#ht of a simmer aaF
with a dirty canvas and die bakers
baking and the cooks cooking and tine
dress maker dressing and general
hubbab chat made aH army camp Lock
bike sewing circle And what Wa II
all about. MaudeIla, all because one
night last fall when Blu was feeling "a
little slushy be rot sort Of worked up
and careless and Mary thought he
meant IT,
Well. along about half past eleven,
the whole crowd having gone plumb
crazy, ! stcered Bill upstairs and
dressed him. les. did. Maudella.
The poor Kid was shaking all over and
there being mo- visible way Of dampen-
ing his spirits with anything stronger
than bromide. pat on his shirt and