The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1921-11-29

1hevS lust this mucn ABOUT IT, lolAS'
If printers wasn't wise.
Take it from me, there wouldn't be
No one TO advertise.
For if we didn't fix the bulls
Them dunbbells makes each day,
You folks would rant, then mob the plant
That's all I'VE got to say!
April %. 1920 Che was born in 1920 -
Chicago Tribune. 80
"Do the orientaIs age rapidly" inquiries
Rory. calling our attention TO the foregoing.
"Or -" he continued without waiting for reply
(which we were at loss to make, anyway
.does the fact that Hirohito is the son of a
concubine have something to do with it?
Well. We Might Join in Singing "Wash Me
Whittier Than the Snow.
From F. P. AS colyum.l
What bright little journalism stu
dent can think of headline to put on
the story that the Rev Charles Myron
Tubbs has accepted the rectorship of
Grace church. Bath, Me-?
MONEY is the root of all evil misquotes
the Quincy Whig-Journal colyumist. May we
refer him land others) to l. Timothy, $40?
THE PROVERBS OF SOLOMON.
Nv son, observe how Time changeth the
Temper of the Vain Man.
Verify he changeth from Giddy Youth to
Mature Simpleton with isolated patches Of
wisdom caused by Experiences sad and other
wise.
There cometh day when he goeth to the
Tonsorial Artists.
He taketh off his Toupee and demandeth a
Haircut The Artist of the studio knoweth
from experience better than TO ask, Which
One? But looketh somewhat bewildered and
pIaveth the Nature Faker on the frieze that
remaineth and extendeth from the Ears TO the
back of the Neck.
He applieth ointment and the vainglorious
One is pulled up and deceived, and saith, am
| just as Young as | used to be-
He remembereth the Green Socks and Out
landish Clothing period of his life preceding
the age of Green Cap Freshman attractiveness
and the pleasures of the game of Headcrack
and Bonebreak; the game OF Chiropractors' Joy
called Football; and with pleasure he saith,
will go.
He mounteth the street car amid a galaxy
| of Multi-colored Ribbons, Shivering Damsels
caring their Silk Stockings and Callow Youths
with much mouths. teeth and noise, Confden-
TALLY Advising peculiar looking Players clad
III clothing of their Kind, including large shoes
with Vicious Calks to mangle the physiognomy
| of unfortunate opponents,
| And the Board of Education walketh over
I his feet as he hangeth to strap and he Cusseth
| to himself
He arriveth at the Gate and Goo-Goo-
| looking gentleman chargeth him and more Edu-
cation walketh his Corns.
! And now he cusseth aloud and is heard by
Refined Instructor who is greatly shocked
He seeth enthusiastic ones of each Herd
yels and looks peculiar to each Tribe shout
ing at gyrations of the Cheer Leaders
Smash EN- up! Wipe EN- I'D.
Ha! Hai Ha!
Beelzebub, Beelzebub,
Rah! Rah Rah."
Then, seeing the cheer leader he saith OAR
win right; 1 have seen the Missing Link
He seeth not the game because of the Null
Etude and Expensive Millinery but is Jostled
and Pushed and damned
And the Hilarity of the Multitude is great
He wonderful why his former ideas were in
keeping with what he hath seen.
And saith, / am truly growing Old.
And that was Right
And straightway he goeth home
SOLOMON PIFFLE.
THE Davenport Democrat describes a war
veteran as having "a bayonet wound in his
left army" In military parlance, the enemy
attack resulted in collapse of his left wing.
JUDY, or RORY, or Aloysius-or somebody
told US several days ago that ought to
mention the happy Day family. who have seven
boys; the idea being that seven DAYS make a
week-or something of the sort We under
stand one of the Day boys dropped something
on his foot and mashed it. Now we coniec-
ture. one of the Days of Joy has become a
knight Of Misery.
.. HE was surprise to begin with
mother never expected him-and 1 suppose he
got little spoiled, maybe, on that account"
Josephine Daskam Bacon in the Chi Trib.
-. What damned error, but some sober
brow will bless it and approve it with a text?'
THE inspired typewriter OF the A. P oper-
ator handed us this: 1T would engage in pre-I
clseiy the same kind of work Athe senator
[Borahl said
ARBUCKLE 1.-THE comedian, not the coffee
mani disclaims previous acquaintance with
members of his fatal party, with the exception
Of one Mrs. Taube
HERE, boy More oil for the lantern of
Dnogenes! R. E. MIG.