Atlanta tri-weekly journal. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1920-19??, 1921-01-22
DOROTHY DIX TALKS
BY DOROTHY DIX
A Double Order of Wives.
Copyright, 1920. by the Wheeler Syndi-
cate, Inc.
MAN in Colorado is trying to get a law
passed to permit farmers to have two

II passed to permit farmers to have two
N wives He says that it takes two
women to do the work properly on farm
and inasmuch as it is impossible for MAJ
to hire female help in the country ne snouit
be permitted to marry it.
This rural statesman also believes tina
nothing would stimulate the back-to-the
land movement like polygamy, and that witt
the boom that this would give our lnfan
industry we should no longer have to impor
farm labor from Europe. We should raise
on the premises.
OF the practically of the plan there can b
no doubt. The Mormons tried it out goo"
many years ago. and it worked beautifully
Much of their prosperity is due to the rae
that every married man had an assortmer
of faithful and industrious wives working TO
him without pay.
Nor can anyone say that those times ar
past, and that a man cannot hire womaI
with wedding ring to do the thing sht
couldn't be persuaded to do for money, fo
we see women making that sort of curiou
and lopsided bargain every day of our lives
Let a man wave a marriage certificate a.
woman and it hypnotizes her so that she will
get up and follow him to the ends Of til
earth.
OF course when it's just half of ne-r
riage certificate that he flashes before he
dazzled eyes she may not be quite 30 fas
cinated by it, but the mans plan for marry
ing a cook and a laundress because he can
hire them, and it saves their price, anyway
is a practical solution of the great servan
problem. Thousands of men can testif!
that they have tried it, and that the result
were entirely satisfactory.
Why the reason that widowers almos
invariably remarry as soon as they decentl
can is because they find that wife is none
in their pockets. BY the time poor man he
paid an army of women to do his cooking
and marketing, and washing, and sewing
and intending, and baby-tending, and all tn
thousand other things that his wife did as
mere matter of course, he is bankrupt
| Leaving aside, though, the practical ant
economic advantage of a mans having ont
wife, to say nothing of two Of them, who ar,
willing to work for their board and clothes
and precious little of either, we can but spec
| ulate upon certain other aspects of the sub
! ject.
For one thing, it makes us wonder If mat.
rimony is still, as it was in the beginning, a
! female partnership instead of a one-woman
! job.
OF course, the modern woman is strong for
| the domestic monopoly. Like the jealous
| Turk, she can bear no rival near the throne
She cannot endure to think of any other
woman sharing in her husbands affection, or
| taking up any of his thoughts and interests,
or dipping into his pocketboek, and when she
finds that there Is such one, she hales him
into the divorce court and trades him off FOR
right to pose for wronged wife and little
precarious alimony. All or none is her motto
Better no husbands at all than half or three
quarters interest in one.
Yet there probably isn't married womaN'
alive who hasn't had times and seasons when
she did not feel that being wife was syn.
dictate job instead Of career for one poor
lone female creature. For it would take
bevy of women endowed with every known
charm and virtue, to fill any average mans
dnoI re l.:
entitled.
For instance, every man thinks that It Ia.
no more than his due that he should have a
wife who is perpetualy easy on the eyes, and
VINO Is always young, and beautiful, and
charmingly dressed. Inasmuch as nobody
has yet discovered the fountain OF pespetual
youth, and the years take their DEVASTATING
toll or every woman's looks, it is an impos.
sibility for anyone to keep herself living
picture, no matter how much time and work
she bestows on touching up her Handmade
complexion, and trying to maintain her girl.
ish figure &
Every man thinks that he should have a
wlte VINO Is good cook, and housekeeper,
ana wizard who can work miracles with
pennies, and make them do the work OF dol
lars. He expects, when he comes home At
nights, to lind an orderly house, good din
ner, and children who have been washed and
dressed and disciplined into the likelihood OF
AAE"AO Sn6IIS
OF the kitchen, who is frowsy and untidy
and who is tired and cross, and nervous and
irritable NV -N
Every man vents wife who is his chum.
VINO reads the things he reads, and keens,
ABREAST OF the times, and is vivacious. and
Drlgnt, and entertaining company so that an
evening at home is a stimulating experience
!nStead or being sure cure for insomnia
he wants wife who is ready to drop things
ana go or to the golf links with him. or
automoblIlng, or any little jaunt that strikes
his fancy. He is bored to death by the
woman whose conversational repertoire only
reaches from the kitchen to the nursery anS
BACK again, and who is more interested in n
new recipe for eggless cake than she ia IN
Harolngs policies, and who Interrupts the
most thrllllng passage in a play to ask him
LII noarse whisper If he supposes the babv
has got it's feet uncovered.
It's the impossibility Of combining all of
the Inherent kinds of wives that man wants
In her own propria persona that discouragcs
the average wife, and makes her slack on her
Job She could be either of his ideals, but
she can't be them all, and in her moments of
despair she would be almost willing to sublet
the contract to various and sundry of her
sisters, instead of trying to fill the whole bill
OF Delng parlor ornament, a cook stove, q
century dictionary, and a compendium of
sports.
And it is because no man is really satisfied
with either the cook, or the beauty, or the
blue stocking, but wants them all punched In
one, that men find marriage a failure. Per.
haps, after all, as Mr.. Howell said long ago,
even after centuries of civilization man Is
still imperfectly homogeneous, and the only
time he is ever truly thankful that he is only
he husband of one wife is when the bills
~ GraA 30 ~.