The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1921-01-05
Good Manners
Prompted by Heart,
Not by Written Code
From Vogue

Specifically, Of couI it is not diff
ficult to show that we re fast los
ing our manners. The obvious proce-
dure in dealing with this subject is to
cast the mind back to a time when
modish places were haunted by fine
gentlemen in lace and velvet whose
snuff boxes and plumed hats were de-
signed expressly to lend point to an
epigram or grace to bowling en-
counter with ladies'. We think of
Bath in the days of Brummel, or the
elaborate etiquette of Versailles. We
remember there was time when Mr..
Turvydrop instructed young ladies in
department, and when Miss Pinkerton
had also something to say ON the sub
ject. Comparing such times with our
own, it is small wonder that money of
manners are declining and that today
we are merely barbarous by compar-
ison with our forefathers. Where, it
may be asked, are our modern Ra-
leighs to spread cloak in muddy
walks for the feet of the adored :?
Where is the host who would Stay his
pet falcon rather than allow an I'M
expected guest to go hungry?
To all Of which it may be briefly
answered that in the good old days,
when manners flourished so greenly to
the eye, it was quite usual for fine
gentleman to come drunk into the
presence of ladies'; to roar with
laughter if a woman happened to be
plain, or not quite so young as she
would like to be; and in most other
ways to conduct themselves after a
fashion which prompted George
Meredith to liken the exquisite con-
temporaries of Sir George Etherge to
South Sea islanders.
In short, manners go deeper than
mere surface and ceremony, and a
looping away of the climbs and out
ward flourishes" is not necessarily a
sign that manners have declined. To
argue that manners are deteriorating
today because the general code of be-
havior is less strict and elaborate than
in the days of Lord Chesterfield would
be like arguing that poetry is in a
decline because Mr.. Walter de la Mare
and Mr.. Masefield do not write like
Alexander Pope, or that music is des-
| troying itself because sciabin exceeds
the bounds of musical decorum as de-
| fined by Stainer and Prout.
It may be reasonably argued that
strict conventional code of manners
is usually a sign of barbarism rather
than of refinement. Such codes are
necessary in societies where good
manners do not come by nature. 1t
people do not, in the simple kindness
and sympathy Of their hearts, know
instinctively how to meet their fel-
lows, it is convenient to have con-
ventional code of behavior to fall back
| upon. The conventional code puts
everyone upon a known footing and
| makes no serious call upon anybody S
personal tact and discretion.
| The most regid1y conventional class
in civilized country is not the upper
class. When the page boy in sud
den burst of equality addressed the
most admirable butler in the world as
"Crichton.0 he was promptly dismiss
ed. Crichton knew that what was
good enough for the drawing room
was not good enough for the servants
hall. Formalities, which in drawing
room may be omitted, are absolutely
essential below stairs.
There is, in fact, sense in which
only those people can claim to have
good manners who have no manners at
all. The modern practitioner In vers
hires, must make his own rules as he
goes along. He has to understand
people and to treat them in just the