davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-04-28

Floyd Jellison passes on some
'potry' he ran across in an ancient
Blackstone. or some other volume OF
light literature:
The Rift I'm the Loot.
There once was a dizzy young loot,
Who worshipped his tailor-made suit
When his pants lost their
creases
He flew all to pieces
From meeting a whiz-bang, en- route
Which reminds us OF this one:
The Non-Com's Come Back.
A gallant old general from Dallas
Laid siege to the heart Of Miss Alice,
She shellshocked him some
When she wed a non-com.
Who outgeneraled the general
through malice.
And Bill Armstrong of this one:
Revised
Sing a song of double eagles,
A pocket full of rye"
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-04-28

a stopping place. and one has been
established.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-04-28
ATTENTION. 18TH DIV.

The Old Hickory (Thirtieth Divi-
sion) association has announced that
the European tour authorized at it's
convention last September, will start
from New York on July II and end
in the same way August 81. Prac-
tically all the scenes memorable in
the divisions A. f. F. history will
be revisited. The tourists will touch
England, Belgium, Italy, the French
Riviera and possibly the American
occupied area in Germany. The to-
tai cost OF the IL days will be $565.
Participation in the tour IS not re-
stricted TO members of tn division.
Guy II. May, 425 Holston Bank
Blrg.. Knoxville. Tenn, is chairman
of the tour committee.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-04-28
Women SO "WiId'' That
JailS Must Be Stronger

KANSAS CITY, Mo, April H.
The women of Kansas City are so
wild they're going to build the jails
stronger, according TO w. II. Taylor,
superintendent of the welfare board.
The superintendent said steps
would be taken to build the cells
stronger at the women's reformatOry
after thirteen women escaped by
filing their wa to freedom.
The women, all confined in the
"honor ward" were captured later.
Taylor said the cells weren't strong
enough to hold them.
Pending new and stronger cells
Taylor is seeking 20 have all women
prisoners sent to the county Jail.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-04-28
SOLDATS AMERICAN
GIVE Red CROSS
PLENTY TO DO
They Don't Know Where
They're Going, But
Travel in Style.

we don't know where we're going,
But we're on cur way
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-04-28
How She Got In

Aunt Dolly" Spencer is to be the
next mayor of Milford, o.
How'd she get elected? She makes
the best cherry pie in town.
So Aunt Dolly got in. you see.
very largely on her crust.-Philadel-
phia Publec Ledger.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-04-28
Scnd a. to Id o..

Hundreds OF interesting stories can
be told concerning these gentlemen
tramps:" many OF them are humor-
Gus. some piuful, the majority droll
Usually informing them that their
case must be investigated ends the
interview. except for a TRADE Of
abuse. This only in unworthy cases
The Red Cross IS doing a big work
here and over the country for that
matter. No organization is equipped
10 80 thoroughly handle this situa-
ton. which q ticklish one az best
Individuals arc urged 20 send all
sEch cases direct 20 the Red Cross
headquarters IN the court house for
their own safeTy as well as the tran
sient's. Claims Will not be allowed
unless this Is done. There must be
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-04-28

A Colorado man vii plug yeast
cakes in watermelons and produce
the only thing beer VIII cure is thirst
but more than one man mas died
from thirst.-Detroit Free Press.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-04-28
So Every Dog Has Its Day"
Chapter i
By Bud Wiser
By Bud Wiser

We'll, our minutes are numbered, said the
left shoe to the right. Our master is headed
straight for the Douglas store. Those Douglas
shoes sure have some magnetism, cause thought
he had plum forgot about them
Yes, they got a kick like white mule, retort-
ed the right one, and they wear like the old
Hobs did.
We're gone now, he's heading in the Black
stone store and, of all the crust he pulled me off
his foot as if he lost his grandmother, replied
the left
We'll, he's got his new pair and they're put
ting the shroud on us, said the right, and he's
tickled with the new Douglas kicks, so we should
worry as long as we see some of our other dis
carded friends when we reach the rubbish pile
Finis.
Next Thursday-'K ick-lnn.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-04-28
SOCIAL CENTER MEETS.

The Ladies Social Center. aux
Hilary to the second Indiana church.
o. O. f. S. will be entertained by
Mrs. J. Greer Wednesday at the
Modern Woodmen hall.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-06-19

Pantomine has hsid sway at the Drury Lane theatre, in London. tor the last 40 years.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-06-19

ute. I wish Willie was back with that water
 Mother-Smother it with some thing-take a robe, Itll set fire to the gasoline tank! Here. (She throws a robe over the flre).
 Father-Now, you've put it out.
 Mother---Well. couldn't see the car burn up and explode and everything, and that's what would have happened
 Father-Perhaps I can find enough old newspapers to cook the coffee with. You put the bacon in the fry ing pan.
 Mother--Just in a solid chunk, likc that?
 Father--No, of course not. Slice 1t.
 Mother--Where is the knife?
 Father-Willie has it. Mother-Then we'll have to wait. Father--What can be keeping the kid? He's been gone long enough to bring all the water in the we'll Mother-well, let's eat something I'm starving.
 Father-Oh wait till we get the coffee and bacon, Don't spoil your appetite for them by eating anything else.
 Willie (entering excitedly) = He wouldn't let me have any water, the far mer wouldn't, and he said 1t was against the laws to set fires on the road like you're doing, and he's got big dog that he had to hold bacl; like blazes to keep him from biting , me, and he's mad and talking about coming down here with 8 shotgun because last year a lot of city folks set fire that burned down his corn crib, and, lookout---there he comes now
 Father--I guess we'd better
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-06-19

| winces once, I'll browse his wind pipe"
 o nc.kin', owillROablanH .. ..
 When Hams mothers Husband saw that skit, he suddenly got case of heartburn and left the room. So Hamlet went to his mothers room planning to stab the king In the ex- citement But he missed his oua, and stabbed ophelia's father, Polonius Then he left for England.
 Meanwhile Ophelia went nuts. over Hams meanness, and skitted into the Royal presence.
 Hip hip. hooray, zis, boom, bah!' she flossed. Ladies and Gentlemen, I'll sing you little ditty written by Ham, entitled. ITO Be. or Not to Was. Thus; Rosemary for remembrance Dog fennel to forget; A hazel-nut for such as me. Or a squirrei'll get me yet! Ooo-yee! Hold 'er. Bill; don't let 'er circle"-and playful Ophelis ran out to climb twig. and fell in the water and was drowned
 Hamlet found that the King had signed his farewell papers, and pulled double-switch on Unclc Claud. beating 1t back to Elsinore. He ar rived to find them digging Ophelia' s grave. Laertes, her brother, insisted on jumping into the grave, and beg ging them to cover him up. too. Ham dived into the pit aaso
 Hey, you get out of my sisters grave" cried Laertes. Your un- Kindness killed her,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-06-19
Physician Explains Who
 Should Take Nuxated Iron Practical Advice on How To Help Build Up Great Strength, Energy and Endurance

Lack of iron in the blood not only makes a man a physical and mental weakiinx, nervous. irritable. easily fla tigued but t utterly robs him of that viriie force that stamina and strength of will which are 90 necessary to suc- cess and power in every walk of life," says Dr. James Francis Sullivan. formerly physician of Bellevue Hospital (Outdoor Dept.), New York. and the Westchester County Hospital. Tt may also transform a beautiful sweet-tempered woman Into one who is cross. nervous and irritable. have strongly emphasised the great me- cessity of physicians making blood ex- aminations of their weak. anaeric run down patients. Thousands of persons 10 on year after year suffering from phvsi- cal weakness and . highly nervous con- dition due to lack of sufficient iron in their red blood corpuscles without ever reai,sins the real cause of their trouble. without iron in your blood your food merely passes through the body something like corn throuTh an old mill with rollopo
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-06-19
Hip, hip, hooray, zis, boom, bah," she flossed

Laertes aHd Polonius, my father, have told me that you're just good timing me They gave me 8 curtain talk on leading wild men on. Take back these birthday presents and consider yourself stung."
 "Oh, frailty, thy name Is jazz z-cat," moaned the blighted Prince, You cute baby talking piece of furniture, I'm off you for life, anyhow"
 Why, Ham, didn't know you'd take it so hard. I'll take 'em all back in time for my next birthday"
 Nix, grille, you don't hand a line like that to Ham but once. The pink slip for yours. I've got revsnge on my thinks" And Hamlet departed off stage, picking invisible insects out of the air.
 The King and Queen. upset over Hamlet's mental condition, and be- lieving Pollnius' story that Hamlet had gone balmy from love of Ophe- lia, had listened in on the above scene.
 'Tf that's your idea of a love scene, I'd hate to witness a real Heloise and Abelard session." said the King. "The boys just got screw loose in lis carburetor. And the sooner we ship him to England the longer we'll live"
 Hamlet had arranged for play to be given at the castle.
 '"rhe plays the thing that,ll tell" hc gumshoed, as he wrote a plot Of king being murdered by his brother while mapping. "ff Uncle Claud
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-06-19

Horatio, Hamlet's friend, oane prancing to the melancholy Prince with the latest gossip.
 Ham. there's something rotten In the state of Denmark" sald he. Some of us fellows had a little spr- itualist meeting last nign5 while guarding tho gate, and up flew a tombstone, and out walked 8 grave yard bimbo who looked like your father. Course 1t might not have been the old man, but just some mad ghost running rampant"
 That being the case" replied Hamlet, I'll to this ghostly sprne. Nothing gives me more fun than being miserable. Since mama mar ried Uncle Claudlus before tho tears she shed on fathers coffin were dry, I've sorter lost my girlisn laugh ter"
 That night Hamlet took str,ll with the spook. At last 1t spoke to him.
 Ham, I'm your papas hant. Your Uncle Claudius caught me mapping in the garden, and skldded some lep- erosity in my ear. Quite deadly earful Then he gathered the reigns of government unto himself, and your sweet mommer to be hls bride. Revenge me. my boy, shoot the juice to Uncle Clauds career"
 Thenceforth Hamlet began te chew tacks. When he met his one time cutie, sweet Ophelia, he hardly noticed her.
 Ham" she cooed, "my big brother,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-06-19
FORA, HUMAN PACK. HORSE, GAN CARRY. TREMENDOUS LOAD.
Claims to Be 147 Years Old, and Has Always Been Used to Carrying
 Heavy Weights
Nv Associated Press

Constantinople, June 1S.-Zora, tte -human pack horse." who claims to be 1IT years old and still can carry 200 pounds with ease. attributes hls long life and health to hard work and proper diet. He has always been a carrier of heavy weights,
 His rules of health are: Hard work sleep, cold baths at night, no tobac- co, no alcohol, no coffee, no meat, DO oils, no butter, no drinking water, but plenty of hot tea, honey, sugar, cakes, breud and cheese, particularly buttermilk or clabbar. Every five years he takes & three-months' rest in his native home in the country.
 Whatever his age,' Fora is a picture of health and physical vigor, ment- ally alert, benign, and frequently blessing the curious American sailors who visit him at his favorite cafe on the Galata water front.
 He is five feet ten Inches tall. deep breasted, and has the carriage of q shaik. He Is almost bald, his face ts long and covered with . shiny nut-brown skin.
 Hts eyesight and memory are good and he recalls the days when the first steamship came to Constantinople. He says hS worked as peasant at Bitlis until the age of S7 when ho came to Constantinoplo to work at the Turkish arsenal and that he worked there for 30 years.
 Fora has been married four times All of his wives are dead, and all but two of his children. His son, Osman, aged 97, being in poor health, recently returned to Bitlis Hts daughter, Gouli Hanem, aged SO, Is married and healthy. Zora's father died at the age of 76 and his mother at the age of S3.
 Fora isn't rich because of 30 many expenses in caring for his family. He lives in kuard khan where he pays q dollar and a half month for 2 place to sleep and hot water to make his tea
 What I want Is work" declared Fora "Idleness will ruin my health I'll pray all my life for him who giveth me work. Health, happiness and wisdom come from work only"
 Asked if he intended to join the Turkish nationalist army, Zorit smiled benevolently and shook hts head. T fought many times for my country and now I wish to end my life in prayer for the prosperity or xhe empire" he saie
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-06-19
By JAMES J. MONTAGUE

A Quarter-Act Play. 1 Charaeters--Father Mother Will lie.
 Scene-Roadside. automobile in the
 foreground. Barb wire fence in the ackground. l Father-This is just the spot
 Mother-I would rather stop by a brook.
 l Father-What do you want of a brook? Willie would only fall into it and get wet. Look at the view.
 Mother--Well, we can't drink the view, and we haven't got any water.
 Father--What's the sense in being a kill-joy? Willie can get water for us. Willie. go up to that farm house and get bucket of water. willie-In just minute. I think I got chance to catch a turtle around here. Father-Never mind the turtle. I have got to have the water to make 1 the coffee. Go now. Willie-All right, in just a minute. | Mother-Willie, go at once. as papa says. Willie-I will, in just minute l Father-First we must get some
 stones to make fireplace 1 Mother-But there aren't any stones around here.
 Father-Oh. I'll find some in a few minutes.
 Now if we had gone to a brook as l | suggested Father-Oh. hang the brook There are some stones right owe. | there.
 | Mother-But there isn't any wood Father-We1l, we can cut some, can't we9 There's plenty of trees. l Mother-But trees are green and they won't burn. If we had gone to brook we could have found plenty 1 of drift wood
 Father-Willie. if you don't go i'm stantly and get that water you won | get any lunch. Willie---All right, I'll go in just d minute. Father-Here are the stones. Now I'll build a little box for the fire, and when Willie comes back--WIL. LIE!
 Willie-what is it
 Father--Go instantly for that water or I'll take stick to you. l mean it. Willie-Yes. sir. (Goes.) Father-I'll cut some wood now, and with little paper we can get it going. Then the coffee and the bacon There's nothing so appeti1- ing as fresh. crisp bacon cooked In the open air. Mother--I wouldn't cut those trees. They might be poison ivy.
 Father-Poison ivy isn't tree; it's a vine. Now. please stand between me and the wind while I light the fire.
 Mother--lt doesn't seem to burn. Father--It takes a little time. Pa- tience Is indispensable in camping out. Mother-It isn't burning at all. It's wet Now if we had gone to a brook Father--Ill make it burn. Gle goes to car. draws a little gasoline iron, the tank on a handful of waste. ana puts the waste on the fire.) NOW! Motherhood gracious, you'll set fire to the car. Look at 1t blaze up. Father-It'll die down in . min
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-06-19

% wide apart that the mill can't grind:
 For want of iron you may be an old man at 30. dull of intellect poor in mem, ory. nervous. irritable and all run down. while at 50 or 50 with plenty of iron h your blood you may still be young in brimnins over with vim and energy"
 But be sure the iron you take is or ganic iron-Nuxated Iron--and not me tailic iron which people usually li, take. Or Or h your blood and like the iron in spinach, lentile and apples. while metallic iron is iron just :s lt comes from the action of invs and is therefore an entirely differ ent thing from Nuxated Iron. Nuxsted Iron represents organic iron In such . highly coneenttated form that one doss is estimated to be approximately equivalent Gin organic iron. content) to eating one half quart of spinach, one quart Of green vegetables or half q dozen bakedf Apples It is like takins extracts of beef instead of eating pounds of meat.
 Over 100000 people annually are us- ing Nuxated Iron. It quickly helps mako rich rcd blood. revitalizes wornout. ex-- hsusted nervss and sivss incrsased strength and .ensrsy. Your money wiii be rsfunded by the. nnanufscturer, if it does
 For sale by all druegiots.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-06-19
PROLIFIC SULTAN or JAVA From LaYa-and a story, by L. Ad.


 ans Beck. in Asia.
 The palace-or Kraton--of living Sultan of Java Is a memory I would not part with for much fine gold. It ts . veritable town of about 16,0Oe inhabitants, and Europeans may not enter save under certain conditions and on certain days. And here dwells his majesty clothed in sarong striped like the tawny hide of the tiger, king of beasts, surrounded by a royal family clothed in lesser fe- line stripes according to rank.
 A large royal family, for my Sui- tan (who may or may not be living stilr had 65 living children, the eld- est b% years old, the youngest II months. It Is true that his majesty is limited to nine wives, but this nlg- gard frugality is tempered by the un- derstanding that he may change them at pleasure, and as the gift of a wife to the man whom the King delig to honor Is distinction be- yond price. there are no difficulties in the way. Naturally there are also
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-06-19

many ladies of the lesser ranks of wifehood, but these scarcely count. The Palace was an fete at the time l came, because the Sultan had just purchased lovely Chinese wife for
 the sum of 1000 pounds. I should have liked to see this costly toy, but | 1t was not possible, and indeed this | zenana has 8 much more efficient
 guard than is usual even in the east, for it Is composed of old women, said | to be the superannuated beauties of ] the harem. and 1t Is added that they | form a defense of sleepless eyes and open ears that nothing can penetrate. That night I attended a Javanese | dance. Many people decline to call | this dancing-they name 1t posturing. but to me 1t Is the very poetry of motion. It breathes full east and has almost a religious significance. recalling strange rites and the wor- ship of old, old Nature Gods, to whom none of the natural wants and in pulses of humanity were alien or unclean. These girls were clothed In
 stiff red velvet bodices scanned with gold, wound tightly round the slim bosom-the arms and shoulders bare. the beautiful skin, wheat-color tinged with gold and gleaming satin smooth. The little feet and hands were small as those of child, ana the face and eyes cold and expres- sionless as masks under the strange head dresses. something like pin nacled miters of jeweled gold. They moved slowly and languidly. singing sometimes in monotone, every line of grace flowing into another without lpause or seeming change, subtle, melting, as the movement of snake The thing was strangely alluring, the woven paces and waving hands drew and repelled alternately The watch CT waits for the flash of passion the swift-darting eyes, the wooing lips. It is> all there--a very little way beneath the surface, but it never comes. Tho girl is passive as gold butterfly transfixed and set in some dim golden shrine.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-06-19
'Lades and Gentlemen, I'll sing you little ditty

| T can't help that; I loved her the best yodled Hamlet. gravely. 'I can jump graves as well as you And If they cover you up, they'll have to cover me, too."
 "Laertes, be 2 sport and let, them cover you up, so they'll tuck that boy under, too" whispered the King. Swho was getting more afraid of Hamlet. But they both came out of the grave, and made a date to fight it out the next day
 On the Kings advice, Laertes tipped his sword in poison, so if he merely pricked Hamlet, It would be good night, Annabel. Also, to play safe, the King doped cup of wine with poison for his stepson and heir, but the Queen, feeling skittish up and drank it.
 The duel began. Hamlet was wounded once, then there was a souffle Both of them dropped their sw ords. Hamlet picked up Laertes blade and, with swapped weapons they continued. The Queen keeled over dead. Laertes was wounded and he told Ham that the Kt<g had put him up to doctoring the sword. Hamlet saw his dead mother. Then he danced up and stabbed the King a fter which he and Laertes died friends.
 | Fortinbras, Prince of Norway, next | in line, arrived in time to help select l the undertaken new limousine.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-06-19

run along. This is rotton place any way.
 Mother--Where shall we go?
 Father-Let's find a nice brook. wanted to go to brook In the first place.
 (All into car and exit.)
The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-06-19
For Good of the
 Community

y THE Birmingham that has given to Belgians, "A French, Chinese, Poles and Armenians must give to her own. It must be done now. It will be done, because the need is here and acute Birmingham has more than enough with which to do it and none suffer.
 Let no man take unction to himself for doing this thing It is the plainest kind of duty Those who need our help are our neighbors, fellow workers in the same hive of industry Many of them have hidden their want Many have fought the wolf bravely and to exhaustion. It has been sturdy community. It was un- willing to believe that help was needed Men who hadput by during the flush times spent that before they admitted their condition Furniture was sold rather than ask of friends and neigh bors
 The bottom has not dropped out of Brming- ham. The manner in which homes are building denies that. The optimism of men and women is denial. The new car works and the activity in many of our steel plants assure us that we are stable.
 But we are at high tide. There was large influx of new men and families lured to the city by high wages and demand for workers. When the nationwide showdown set in, Birmingham yielded so little that it was called the one Upright SpOI It IS yet.
 The iron market went to pieces over the country. Blast furnaces blew out. Each idle furnace means several hundred idle men, The surplus of labor was no longer required Stores began to get along with fewer clerks Savings lasted for weeks with some; for months with others.
 The condition was long coming For that we should be grateful. We have made bold fight and courageous men and women, black and white have not whimpered. They are not doing that now. We are going to give to brave hearts that they may continue brave.
 It is not going to be sloppy giving It is not going to be throwing bounty to beggars. It is to be assistance to men and women to tide over period of necessity such as comes to the best some times. The city welfare department the emergency relief committee, the Red Cross and the Salvation Army have joined forces for an orderly administration of the common fund.
 Giving to these people is giving to the Creator, for they are His Times come when our neigh bors are our foster children. They cannot help themselves For the decency and integrity of that which we call society under whose protect ing arm we all work, live and love in peace and security, we who have the strength must uphold those who are weak and falter.
 A chain is no stronger than it's weakest link. Birmingham will prove itself this week by the manner in which it responds to the appeal of it's own. Let us do it with thinking spirit. Let it be done because it is right
 Wait the glow self commentators Do it the cool light of realizing altruism.
 Let them build that auditorium Let's get that with without some debated m so that men have work and pav fort fhnir a Qnd nf rahi1