Omaha daily bee., 1921-10-15

steam in the radiators these mornings.
In looking over a volume OF the Congress.
sional Record We note that II contains a fund
oi humor.
We know this is so because after almost
teri.
ROOM TO THINK.
See where hotel has added thinking room.
Darb place Tor senators and auto speeders.
Cuckoo!
Look at the skirts and consider that few
short years ago man could hide behind one
OF EN-.
UNIMPoRTANT ITEM.
More than $40 worth Of second hand Aiv.
vers passed through Elmwood park in one
afternoon thia week.
One can usually tell mans station in life
by the way he pronounces depot"
y
'Is prohibition faiurel" sadly wants to
know thoughtful writer. From bootleg
gers standpoint It isn't.
SMILES
There are laws that need amendment
There are laws that make us sigh,
There are laws whose obvious intendment
Is to make us permanently dry;
There are laws whose legislative craftsmen
Have beel quite devoid OF legal sense.
But the laws OF which we are the craftsmen
Make the rest look like thirty cents.
(Sung at bar association meet in Cleve-
land and piped by E. F.
Adapted to 1921, A. d.
If anyone smites thee on one cheek turn
to him the other also. Then will he take thee
for an easy mark and be off his guard, and thou
mayest smite him sorely.
If any man compel thee to go with him
mile, go with him twain. Then thou wilt
doubtless be in the suburbs where the police
goeth not, and thou may handle him without
interference.
If any man take away thy coat, give him
thy cloak also. Then whilst he is burdened
with thy clothes, and thou art unincumbered,
thou mayest hand him an upper cut so that he
sleepeth, and thou canst recover thy garments
in peace and 60 thy way.
This is without any idea of irreverence.-
Tim.
Miniature sign on Judge Fosters desk In
police court: Don't Park Here" And most
Ct those who come up before him wouldn't park
more than 80 minutes if they could help II.
LOVE FROM PALM BEACH.
'If the colored girl whose last name is Love.
that came from Palm Beach, Fla, will answer
this she will learn something to her interest,"
From our Wantads.
AND GET AWAY WITH 1T.
1t used to be-, girl who swore
Was awful. And if she
Would take drink or show limb
Or dare to show a knee
She was considered very bad
They'd put her in the Jug.
But now she does all these. Wen bet
She'll next be chewing plug. a..
-Brutus
And imagine this line of thrilling conversa-
ton:
Mabel, for heavens sake why don't you
quit chewing that nasty old Mail Pouch and try
Cli-ax plug. It's SO much more juicy and
tender"
We'll. Alice if you don't like my Mail Pouch,
either chew snuff or buy your own plug l
simply won't have the stuff about. 1t is too
hard to bite off,"
GOING SOME. /
Happening to be down by the Burlington
station the other day, saw fat travelling man
chase train out of the yard. He didn't catch
it but he sure made it puff:
~A1teI Oean& CAu&nC as cnllQ tnaI II Is fude, |
a girl will continue to make up face. 4
ALTITUDE Record Broken" n."-Headline. BY
an arplane, gentle reader, and not what you
thought we were going to say.
1t seems that the man who shot himself out
OF the house during quarrel with his wife,
was half shot before the quarrel started.
A mans better half isn't satisfied with that
fraction of his salary:
A supreme court has ruled that man is |
responsible when his wife operates still in the
house.
Not that this makes him master in his own
house-merely brew-master, as it were.
HAD TO DO IT.
Though this is FIRE prevention week,
And while such things concern US,
To kill the chill We had to build
fire IN the furnace.
AFTER-THOUGHT. A shiftless man often
shifts his burdens onto others-Philo.
What Mr.. Meighen Uphoids.
"More than any other country, Canada needs
a protective system. She is a young country.
mostly undeveloped. She lies alongside a great
big country tremendously developed. The United !
States has every advantage that Canada has and /.
tremendous advantages besides. 1t surely follows