New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1921-07-03

dor. I'm afraid you don't understand the So.
Wet system.
Mr. Forest-Ambassador be hanged! want
my coat!
Lenine-But, your excellency nobody is al.
lowed to have any property over here Its
against the law.
Mr.. Forest beginning to get ongrg, imdi
eating Trot2ky)-He's got my coat, hasn't he:
And you've got my watch and wallet.
Lenine (petuEantIy)-My dear fellow, rid
yourself of these old-fashioned notions-do!
1t. just happens that we're the government
over here. The property isn't in our posses.
sion, or yours, either, as long as it's held BY
the government. Of course, when we die, il
the watch is still running
Trotzky quitting or the coat)-And there's
any wear left in the coat
Lenine-And there's anything left in the
wallet, it becomes the property of the prole-
tariat. That's clear, isn't it?
Mr.. Forest-And / don't get anything at
all, Ell?
Lenine-But, my dear sir, you don't seem
to realize you're getting an education-a lib
eral education. Of course if you'd like some
rubles, just for the sentiment of the thing
we can give you all you want-a whole hatfu
all the printing presses can turn out.
Trotzky (proudIg)-And not counterfeit
among EN- either.
Mr.. Forest-ShucksI What good will rubles
do me?
Lenine-Ah, that's just it! What good will
they do anybody? That's exactly what we're
trying to demonstrate
Of course, this sort of education, liberal
though it be, develops little peevishness on
Mr.. Forests part. He finally characterize
Lenine and Tavarish Trotzky as a couple Of
porch climbers and stick-up men. Lenine there
upon denounces him as a bourgeois spy, utters
few choice phrases in Russian, which prob
ably correspond to "Chuck 'em in the hoose-
gov, and summons the Red army. Miss Hills
is paralyzed with fright, for the Red army
is nothing but a lot more mosquitoes led, as
usual, by Mr.. Culex. To be sure, they wear
Bolshevik whiskers and carry Boshevik bombs
but they are nevertheless Enthusiastically mos
quitoes.
But Mr.. Forest manages to trip one of them
up, at which a general cry of Counter revo-
luton" is raised. Bombs explode, pistols
crack and in the general confusion Mr. Forest
and Miss Hills escape to the rug. Almost in
the wink of an eye they are
BACK IN FOREST HILLS. Yet, strangely
enough, they find Mr.. Culex, whom they just
left In Russia, waiting for them on the lawn.
His proboscis is as sharp as ever, his appetite
is whetted, but this time they know he is
neither a snob, pro-German nor Boshevik,
but just plain, ornery Long Island mosquito
Mr.. Forest decides, as he appears to be the only
blot on the landscape, to go to bat with him
at once. They belabor each other furiously,
but, unfortunately, the mosquito is having all
the best of it. 1t develops that Mr.. Forest
is very ticklish, especially in the ribs, and Mr..
Culex manages to reach just the right spots
Our hero has almost laughed himself to
death when Miss Hills, our heroine, remembers
the Good Fairy, entreating her not to leave
them. The Fairy condescends to appear, hands
Mr.. Forest magic talisman, which looks sus-
piciously like an oil can, and at once changes
the tide of battle. Mr.. Culex, now we'll oiled,
graciousy consents to die, Forest Hills Gardens
Immediately becomes the loveliest spot in the
world and
Everybody is happy ever after.