The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-12-18
AROUND THE "HAM"
By HENRY VANCE

In my waddling clothes, you might say, today. Think III saunter around a bit, and do some window shopping. It costs nothing. Morton Simpson, the copy cat" What mean by that Is he writes ads - good ones, too. Morton was telling me about literary friend who had written a joke. and showed it to him. Novel idea" said Morton to the friend And, what do you think?" says Nor ton, says he, the boob went and wrote a volume. with that quip as the plot!" That sounds rather Pompanoish to me.
 There goes Brother Sam Ere kert. Left-right. left-right He always walks in step, I'll catch him yet. Knew 1 would. Sams got a gag about two railroad engineers. They used to ship out of here on the Frisco, and when in town together. the two railroaders did considerable grog shopping. One had a whisky tenor and the other a deep sea bass. Then, there came time when these two pals, Hotshot Mcconnell and Pinhead Mabry, were on engines going in different directions. They suffered a head-on collision. and sundry fractures. Sam says that when a barber friend of theirs heard of the accident. he re- marked: "Oh. well, l aint sur prised. Those boys always did run together ''
 Clarence Ketchum. with a grip and a smile. Ketchum go- ing to catch a train. Says he's off to Louisville for the winter. He'll have to go there to get it, None here. They tell me there's an orange bearing tree out near Adamsville with flock of healthy oranges on it. Some peaehtrees In bloom. too, Oh winter weather whither have thou wentest. Pretty soft for the janitors-as it's a long time between shoyels.
 Street car stalled at Fourth and Twentieth. Rain, and track is slick. Out of sand and won't budge. You can low-rate the motormen all you want to, but it takes grit to run street car, especially in rainy weather. Some of our Blaokstonian breth- ren coming out of the court house for lunch. Judge Dan Greene. Full of dignity on the bench but just a big kid, like the rest of the children when he gets in Sunday school, they tell me Lawyers trekkins lunchward. Borden Burr. Heftier than he used to be. He's timekeeper for football games by profession and practices law as sideline. There's Fred Fite, too. Bet an attorney with name like that can put up sanguinary legal battle. Alvin Douglas, Roy Mccullough. Hor- ace Afford, George Bailes. Rod erick Beddow,-gee bnow bunch of lawyers personally. Would go to Bailes, though IT wanted to get out of jail. I'm one of those fellows who believe there's something in a name.
 And. speaking of monickers' just passed Battling Budd' the box-fighter. An. that's a name that makes me e-sick-Budd. I stand by the bier of alcoholic beverages and sigh. yea exersighs. StIll a fighter named Budd should have a kick, eh wot, On down the avenue. Holly-mistletoe--- niggsrtoes -poinsettias-- Christ mas decoIations. "Ting-a-linB' go the Salvation Army bells on the corners, like life bouys, guid- ing some -and-outer from the jagged rocks of diversity to A good wholesome Christmas dln- ner. Bum just asked me for the price of a meal. I gave him slick dime. Guess he thinks 1t a travesty on generosity, but as Walter Camp would say. 1t was my all Shouldn't have called him a bum. either. Somewhere