New Britain herald., 1921-11-26
PROBABLY WON'T
 WEAR FEM AGAIN
WanieTep Sees Astonishing SigtS--lsraeliteS Had U, s. Flag
(Ry the WandererO

who Is given to flights of o)ouuencc, dten speaks of travelling lown the pathway of time" Wherever the pathway of time is, If 1t holds more adventures per foot, or more odd and unfamiliar incidents per linca yard, than the streets of New Britain, then the Wanderer on his travels toward that golden sunset of life" which marks the terminus of the ahove pathway, expects to have a most in teresting journey.
 Doesn't Happen Often.
 J. B. Comstock, office manager at ?. and r. corbin's, is an advcrti ing man. Being an advertising manager, Mir. Comstock naturally knows ad. yertising men. Therefore, when he lends a man a pencil, he usually bids said pencil a silent farewell, Clifton Eckenna, on the other hand, has charge of the contract deuurtlnent at Russell -Erwin's. Familiar mostly with business done by iron clad con tracts with signatures on the dotted line" Mir. MCkenna's faith in human nature has not been severely shaken. Roth men are leaders in the Goodtll eVangclistic campaign. Mr. Comstock is chairman of the publicity commit tee. Mir. McKcnna is chairman of the music committee. Early this week at d meeting someone wanted to borrow a pencil. Mckenna immediately obliged MT. Comstocks astonish- ment at what followed is shown by the following line, clipped from the nf nrt Iirritt I,r ha chairman of the publicity committee:
 P. s. Another great American precedent broken when MT. McKcn- la got his pencil back.
 He Loves the Ladies But
 The theater managers cannot be blamed. They would put quick stop to it if they knew it, but for ob- Nious reasons an unescorted young woman does not care to make herself conspicuous She would rather make an unobtrusivc exit and not come again. So the attention of the wan deer has been called to the habits of one particular young man. who works some of the time along Main street (and several others possibly not so young or so positively identihed). In few words, this is his modus operands. Gazing over the audience le espies young woman seated alone with a vacant seat next to her. He occupies that seat. The lights are dim, the pictures thrilling, exciting possibly. If his hand chances to brush that of his unidentified neighbor may 1t not have been an accident? Yes, but hardly an accident when it hap pens several times, or when his atten- tions, not halted by loud call for po- lice, become even more offensive. The wandercr knows several brothers who need only to have this "cave man. pointed out to them-also several friends Of young women who have no brothers old enough to convince him in the right way that it is not con- sidered good form to try and hold hands with young women you don't even know. Enuf sed,
 Moral: Direct action--to the joint of the jaw is generally effective.
 Speaking of Comfort.
 She was a real pretty little thing Of about IS summers, with blond hair, hlllo"S IOilil, lOlS OI pep dllu- the dantiest little tootsies imagina ble But we are getting ahead of our story
 Preceded by barrage of girlish giggles and near masculine guffaws the quartet swung down East Main street. It was after midnight and obviously they had been to a dance AS they approached the wondering wanderer the grlish giggles and the ear-masculine suffaws increased pro- portionately as the distance between all concerned diminished. With forced nonchalance, the first youth and lassie passed; then came the sec ond swain and she of the dazzling smile; she leaning on his arm for sup port and he. puffing like a pouter pig con that one so fair should turn to him in her hour of need. For her hour of need it was.
 The wanderer gasped and looked again, for she carried in her hand her cute little pate1t leather slippers while all that separated her diminu- tive feet from the hard cold pave ment was one thickness Of sheer slken hosiery, doubtless reinforced at the heel and toe but even then show ing the effects of hard usage during the past few minutes.
 "What'lyom omfathersay-doy 'uthink uh-youthelimit-I can'thelp ittheyhurt - n'tChcrcarehoney - I'lneverwear 'emagain teehee, haw haw" was waited to the wanderer as rt,
 Moral Comfort first!
 Anticipation vs. Realization.
 He h1d toothache and the den- tist recommended an X-ray picture The startled patient confessed to the Wande.er that he had never even seen sn X-ray machine, but had wholesome fear of one. He had read in New York paper of a man kill ed while a dentist was taking an K ray picture so the Wanderer accom- panied him into the camera room.
 He allowed the dentist to seat him in the chair very much the same way that a condemned convict permits the walden to adjust the electrodes The wfites of his eyes showed as he gazed at the apparatus.
 Will 1t take long" he inquired of tie dentist.
 Not very"
 'Is 1t dangerous
 I Not very"
 Any danger Of getting electrocut- ed l read in the paper where q man got electrocuted while having an X-ray picture taken"
 T have never electrocutcd anybody yet-but I haven't had this machine