The Washington herald., 1921-05-25
LOVE TO ORDER.


marries a woman for whom he has
no warmer feeling than respect"
asks q correspondent Then he
goes on to say: The type OF
women 4 enjoy are the gay and
lriddy sort. the ones who are pref
~, and all doIIed up. and full Of
pep and fun. but my mother wants
me to marry the daughter of a
friend Of hers-s quiet, domestic
girl who Is a model of all the vir-
ideal wife.
"Abstractedly I admire this girl
very much, but she doesn't interest
mesa at all. Do you think II I mar
ried her I would learn to care for
her? From a pecuniary and social
point OF view, this marriage would
be very advantageous to me-"
In novels men often fall in love
with their wives. In real life the
miracle seldom takes place. On the
contrary. so far as general obser-
walton goes, a mans affection and
admiration reaches its peak on the
wedding day, and thereafter they
decline.
Whether this Is the mans fault
or the woman's. nobody knows
Whether men are incapable Of a
long sustained passion for a woman
or the woman lacks the power to
keep a mans fancy fired. nobody
knows. 1t is merely a fact that
there are very few middle-aged
men who are still their wives low
ers. and this being the case, 1t is
, hazardous thing for a man to un-
dertake matrimony unless he has
full head OF the steam OF romance
about the woman, and is convinced
at the time that she is an angel,
and the only girl in the world, ana
that all that he can ever desire Is
just to lie at her feet and bask in
her smiles. 1t takes that sort of
momentum to carry him on through
the years.
There are many reasons why
man who is not in love with the
woman before marriage, would
never fall in love with her after
wards The first Is, of course, that
matrimony is the most disfllusion-
ing experience on earth. 1t strips
away from the individual every veil
with which he or she has camou-
fiaged his or her faults and weak
nesses- In the fierce light that
beats upon the hearthstone. every
secret of the toilette is laid bare,
every pretence is revealed.
The woman who is a beauty
when she gets on her handmade
complexion and her transformation.
and her good clothes, may be a hag
in curl papers. and wrappers at
breakfast. She who is bright, and
entertaining, and sympathetic
listener in society. may be dull and
grouchy at home. Furthermore,
the woman who can't fascinate a
man for hour is not likely to be
able to keep him fascinated by the
week, and the year.
hatrimony is not only disillusion-
ing. but it is trying. 1t flakes a
robust affection to stand the wear
and tear of the eternal sacrifices
and concessions that husbands and
wives must make to each other, and
the everlasting patience they have
to extend to each others little pe-
culiarities. There Is nothing that
Quickens our heart action, or piques
our romantic sentiments in having
TO deny ourselves something we
want in order to spend the money
on somebody else, or having to put
up with the way another eats eggs
or hens and coughs before speak,
ing.
Nor do men fall in love with
women for their virtues. II this
were true we would not have so
many cases of middle-aged men
forsaking their wives who have
worked their fingers to the bone
scrimping and saving to help them,
and running of after little flappers
young enough to be their daugh-
ters- As a rule, the women who
most deserve love, get the least of
It. The women that men go crazy
over are never the headliners of
their sex Quite the other way
about.
can never forgive a woman, is being
under an obligation to her, whether
this be financial or moral. There
fore man deeceives himself II he
thinks that his gratitude toward a
rich wife who makes his way easy
is going to blossom into affection
for her.
man who marries a woman he
doesn't love will not fall in love
with her. though she possess every
charm and virtue, but a woman
who marries man she doesn't love
viii almost invariably fall in love
with him if he is kind and good to
her. And therein lies one of the
fundamental differences between
the sexes.
For woman is chiefly interest
ing to man as long as he is pur-
suing her. Once she belongs to
him she loses much of her allure
for him, but a woman cares most
for man after she has got him.
The sense that he is hers, rouses all
OF her loyalty and devotion, and the
knowledge that he stands between
her and the world. draws her to
him by every instinct Of heart and
home.
Beyond this Is the fact that all
the conditions of life tend to sep
arate man from his wife, and to
draw her to him He has his busi-
ness. thousand outside interests
besides sentimental ones. Her life
Is bounded by the family circle.
Thus IL may be said that in mar
riage man does business upon a
continually decreasing capital of
affection. while his wife carries on
her sentimental operations on
rising market. Therefore, IL Is much
more important that a man should
be wildly, madly, overwhelminely
in love when he marries, than Il is
that a woman should.
At any rate, man may be very
sure of this-that IL woman
doesn't interest him before mar
riage she won't do II afterward and
that IL he doesn't love her before