davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1921-03-05
PRESS COMMENT
Smelling Around for Liquor

Smelling Around for Liquor
"A reason you would seek for the
crime wave, that has apparently now
reached the far south, and has hit
Jacksonville and Florida quite recently
and most disastrously?" queried a man
yesterday, who was ready with the
answer: 1T seems as though the en-
tire department of justice, here and
everywhere, was being forced into the
service of the Anti-SaIocn lea gue-
! that organization of fanatics and mer-
cenaries which presumes to dictate the
policy of the government and is even
now objecting to e suggested member
of Mr.. Harding's cabinet because he
formerly had money invested in dis
tilleries. All the so-called peace Off
GERS of the country are so busy smell
ing around for liquor THAI crime
murder. arson, highway robbery, Grim
inal assault, forgery, burglary and
other feionies are overlooked as far
as possible
The comment was bitter-but TO the
average, unprecedented mind there was
suggested a reason that accounts for,
although far from excusing the condi-
ton of affairs in this country the past
year.
this line, a few days ago, when crime
seemed to be rampant in Jacksonville
1t was said that nine of the eleven
deputy sheriffs of Duvan county were
out with federal prohibition officials,
on still hunt. An important matter
maybe, but was it the most important?
According to the laws Of the land it is
a serious offense TO manufacture liq
uor, or to sell it. but also according
to the statutes it is a much more seri-
Gus offense to KILL rob or assault
human being-or to burn or otherwise
destroy property, to forge checks or
secure goods or money by fraud.
The newspapers have been filled
with accouts of crimes that are alb
horrent to all good citizens. The most
violent prohibitionists must admit, if
brought to bar, that murderer
should be run down before a maker of
illegal drink; but the incentive has
been put in the way of peace Off
GERS" in the matter of rewards, and
with hundreds of dangerous charac-
tiers about, breaking and entering
houses, assaulting men, women and
children, ready to kill and rob, and
burn, they spend their time smelling
after whiskey.
I'm other states the same state of af-
fairs exists, and the people have al
most come to the point of going about
armed and ready to stand every man
for himself. as was the order of things
few hundred years ago. With our
sheriffs and police looking for contra
band liquor the rogues who hold up,
rob and murder, are reaping a great
harvest and the patience of the mass
es is approaching the breaking point.
Times Union.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1921-03-05
THE HAPPY HILLS.

There's a wonderful country lying
Far off from the noisy town,
Where the windflower swings.
And the veery sings,
And tumbling brooks come down;
'Tis the land OF light and OF laughter
Where peace all the woodland fills;
IT'S the land that lies
Meath the summer skies
In the heart OF the happy hills.
The road to that wonderful country
Leads out from the gates of care:
And the tired feet
In the dusty street
Are longing to enter there;
And a voice from that land is calling
In the rush OF thousand rills-
Come away, away.
To the woods today,
To the heart OF the happy hills"
Far away in that wonderful country,
Where the skies are always blue,
In the shadows COOL
BY the foaming pool,
We may put on strength anew
We may drink from the magic foun-
tains
Where the wine of life distiIis;
And never a care
Shall find us there,
in the heart of the happy hills.
Boston Transcrint-
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1921-03-05

tor, lawyer, an insurance agent, a
| traffic expert, a policeman and a
nurse. Ahead, I would send a fire en-
CINE, pumping it's siren, and behind /
would have a hearse, to gather up the
remains. The nurse would be to hold
my hand as they carried me into the
hospital, if we ever got that far.
Ten years ago, when 1 arrived in
Pensacola, bought a couple of bicy-
cles lin my ignorance) and said to
Harry boy, come on, let's go see the
country
oh, my, oh, my! We started. Yessir,
we started, and start smiling every
time I think of it. I had been used
to England's turnpike roads, smooth
as billiard table, with a roadman to
every three miles to pick up loose peb-
b1es and patch little troubles.
We rode about half mile. founder
ed into sand, tried each gulley, got
going fairly well on a sidewalk and,
prestoi there was mounted police
man, who ordered us to dismount.
Now, Harry and l have been through
so many funny little scrapes I'll tell
you the story of the New York cab
man some day., we just stood there
and grinned.
Don't you know you're breaking the
law, riding on sidewalk"
Where else can we ride?"
''The road is the place to ride"
1 where is the road? 1 don't see
one. That stuff there isn't road.
It's a beach"
give half mind to arrest you. How
long have you lived here?"
Three weeks-Bought these bicy-
cles yesterday, Where do you keep
your roads? We want to see the coun-
try.
Then he grinned. He couldn't help
1t. He was away up on a sixteen
hand horse and looked like General
Pershiag.
He dropped into the vernacular-
I'VE amt got no roads, not yet, any
way, You'd better ride around where
the streets are paved. This country
is kind o. sandy"
smiled back at him-"If your horse
was on wheels. I'll bet you'd ride on
the sidewalk
He patted his horses neck. Better
not try to go further. The road gets
worse further on. Better stay where
it's paved in the city"
He gave us a farewell grin of I'M
Outstanding, which proved him a SEN
sible fellow, and rode on. We tackled /
about, pushing our wheels through the
sand, and there ended my bicycling |
career in Pensacola. Harry got two
bicycles out Of it. anyway.
But about these here automobiles
amt automobiles. That brings |
me back TO Judge Hoffman. I'll get 1t |
in the neck for all this yarn stuff |
Guess I'm getting into my anecdotage.
There's quite n strong feeling among |
automobile drivers that a change is
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1921-03-05
MORE SIM M & RINGS.
Bv GiIfiIlan Scott

We have all heard or read the fable
of the hot chestnuts Of which there are
various versions, one of which tells of
a bargain made by a monkey and 4
cat to share in roasting some chest
nuts. The monkey undertook to put
them to the fire and the cat to take
them out. Mister monkey managed his
part very cleverlv by throwing the
chestnuts, but the unlucky cat got her
paws singed getting them out.
Talking of monkeys reminds me of
that other well-known story of the
monkey and the parrot, which relates
that, while the missus was out, the
monkey plucked the parrot, as he mad
seen chicken plucked. When the good
lady returned. she exclaimed: "Oh, my
poor polly, what have they done to
your, and polly relied: We've had a
kneI OF a time of it."
OF course, both stories are chest
nuts. hoary with age, but they serve
as an introduction TO what is to fol-
low Haven't we all been seduced into
reading what started like really
truly fairy story, only to find that the
blamed thing was an advertisement of
Barney Bunkum's Blue Pills for Blue
People!
Well, well, let's get busy.
You can blame this blamed thing
once more on Judge Hoffman. who has
started in to get things done since he
was unanimously elected president Of
the Pensacola chamber of commerce.
TrueSt to the creed of every success
full president, he doesn't try to do
everything himself, but deputies this
man and that man to this Job and
that job, and gets results.
So. being perfectly willing to risk a
little singeing, I'm going 10 talk about
Now, the reason have been picked
upon to write on automobiles is. sup
pose. because I knoY nothing about
them-an excellent reason.
If I were TO try TO drive an auto
mobile. | would take with me a doc
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1921-03-05

look at the man my mother-in-l law in
Dictated, and yet / knew I must glance
casually at him If were to avert the
disp1eased suspicion which l already
saw creeping into her eyes.
So, with a mighty effort, I pulled
myself together and looked casually
over Dickys shoulder to the table. of
which his mother had spoken. / really
feel proud of the composure with
which / met the gaze 1 dreaded, for
my intuition was correct. With his
elbow resting on the table and his
hand propping his head, the man
whose espionage had so disturbed me.
sat gazing at me, utterly oblivious OF
both the viands before him and the
people surrounding him.
When my eyes met his he gave not
the slightest sign that he knew I was
looking at him. Simply continued his
steady gaze, which had something Of
wistful mournfulness in it. I avert
ed my eyes as quickly as possible. and
tried to look absolutely .unconcerned.
II am sure he cannot be looking at
me- said, lightly. 81 do not know
him at ALL
(To Be Continued)
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1921-03-05
EXCESS PRODUCTION PROBLEM
FOR BANKS

Excess production is a problem to
be solved by foreign banking, accord
ing to John S. Drum, president of the
American Bankers association.
THE biggest service the association
can render" said Mr.. Drum, is to
provide means for taking care of our
excess production. This problem, one
OF foreign trade, involves necessarily
the restoration of the normal balance
of exports and imports and payments
for imports throughout the world.
When we restore that balance, we
serve the necessities of this country at
the same time by providing foreign
markets for our excess production"
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1921-03-05

/ needed in the ordinance requiring cars
to be parked parallel with the side
walk
A pound of practice is worth ton
| of theory, and it is proved in prac-
/ tice that cars are more easily parked
| diagonally, making it possible to back
out without butting into the next car
If the city commissioners viii put
through an ordinance amending this,
| 1t will be welcomed and appreciated.
/ have lost count Of the number of
times that unfortunate lamp-post has
been bowled over at the corner OF
Wright and Palafox.
1t seems to be in a chronic state OF
suffering, unworthy of the state of
Florida.
The parkway was designed wheA
Pensacola was buggy, so to speak. 1t
is just as it was ten years ago, and it
ought to be improved, now the buggy
has given way TO the automobile.
As look at it, 1t suggests the bitter
end. To save paving it's nose was
poked as far forward as possible, as
if to say: Don't you dare come round.
here
1t is dangerous corner.
The parkway should be set back
tAiAA - aus ~ TIE AltLHQulSI HnnTrn.
giving ample swing for cars chasing
to catch a train. Indeed, Wright street
should have no grass nor lamp-posts
in the road at all. but be paved
throughout to the depot The Guile
marde corner lamp disasters are fur
ther evidence
Now that I'm getting hot on the trail
OF those chestnuts. let's go right into
the fire on all-fours.
Palafox street, on Saturdays. should
be one-way street, from Garden to
Government. Let automobiles in at
Garden, but not out at Garden. Let
them out at Romano, Intendencia. or
Government, with positively no come
back between Government and Car
den.
Now for a general remark or two
and I'm through.
The automobile has become a neces-
sity of life. Sharp corners are danger
Gus. and a committee appointed To
make a list of them, together with
for remedying them.
would be sure to bring about some inn
That committee should be
a permanent institution, to deal with
automobile problems Of every kind.
Nervous people are afraid to ven
ture at driving in the city. Il is he
other fellow they are afraid OF, the ig-
reckless. unframed, unimagi-
native, selfish, unlicensed joy rider
1t would be for everyone's benefits to
require every driver to carry a certifi-
cate of ability to drive. It is not Wise
to allow ignorant people to step to the
gas and send two thousand pounds Of
metal rushing through the streets,
threatening disaster or death to all
who cannot escape.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1921-03-05
A DAILY MESSAGE
BY DR.. WILLIAM {. BARTON
THE FABLE OF THE MISSING
TWO BITS

Once upon a time there lived an al
legged wise man. by name, Diogenes
The record indicates that, among
other things, he fought with his wife
which is not considered good taste
among the wise men of today.
One morning, after the usual battle
Diogenes complained to the Mrs. that
there was hole in the pocket of his
trousers. But Mrs. promptly informed
him that tailor would repair the
damage for about fifteen cents,
whereas she herself wouldn't do it for
fifteen dollars or fifteen thousand
dollars. So there!
So poor old Diogenes started weari-
.ly to the office; carrying the hole
along with him. Inadvertently he
slipped some small change into that
pocket and, in counting it over upon
his arrival at the office, (as was his
custom). he discovered that a coin,
commonly known as Two Bits, had
slipped through that hole.
The old man thereupon became
greatly excited. Grabbing a pocket
flashlight. he started out in search Of
it, butsit was not to be found. He
accosted all persons he met and
flashed that light suddenly in their
eyes, prociaming all the while that he
was in search OF an honest man. In
fact, ne was merely trying to find the
missing Two Bits.
He travelled far and wide carrying
the same old light and flashing it in
the same old way until the people &C
tuaIly thought he was really looking
for an honest man. For. as a matter
of fact. very few of them knew of the
episode of the Two Bits.
But there was one person In par
ticular who did He lived in a dis
tant city and, among his other activi-
ties, he was chairman Of the publicity
committee of the chamber of COM
merce. When he heard that Diogenes
was coming to his city he was greatly
pleased and he began at once to plan
according to his knowledge.
Presently the old gentleman showed
up and began his usual search for an
honest man; and the chair of the pub
licity committee deliberately got in
his way. Old Diogenes turned on the
light, told him he was seeking an hon
est man, and asked him what he had
to say for himself The chairman re-
piled that he had nothing in particular
to say except that several years be-
fore he had been in Diogenes' home
town and had picked up Two Bits in
the street near Diogenes' office He
had gone to the office to find out, il
possible. who had lost it but Diogenes
was out and, as he had to leave town
that night. he was unable TO return it.
A l.,
Two Bits ever since and would be
very glad indeed to return it, TO its
rightful owner.
The rest is history Diogenes inn
medfately claimed the money. threw
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1921-03-05
GET 1T DONE"

The germ of a splendid idea is de-
veloping in the middle west They
call il the Get 1t Done movement. The
label well explains its purpose-Get 1t
Done!
Nothing new in the idea It is but
a renamed DO 1t Now"
Kansas City has set to work to Get
1t Done, now, Immediately, today; not
tomorrow, nor next week. nor next
year.
And. the idea being held so highly
Kansas City chamber of commerce
passes it along to other cities, where
they are not getting It done, but where
they should be getting this, or that,
done right away If they are TO pull
themselves out of the slough of de-
preston.
Get II Done is the slogan of a brave
man, a willing worker, one who has
come to realize that sitting round
waiting doesn't get him far. 1t doesn't
get cities far, either. Nor nations.
Get It Done is sound and solid ad-
vice for public and private consump-
ton. II hits the nail squarely on the
head, be that nail matter of public
improvement sewer, pavement, bridge,
highway building, or something of
private ownership, railway depot,
dwelling, or a new fence round the
COW pasture.
We stand upon the threshold of
spring. There is no better time for
starting a Get 1t Done movement
Start II NOW To Get 1t Done!-N.
E. A. Editorial.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1921-03-05
REVELATIONS
OF A WIFE
BY ADELE GARRISON.
In the Restaurant,


My mother in-law glared at me.
1T strikes me there isn't much left
to leave to him after an order of that
kind" she said tartIy.
You haven't eaten many of Dicl5v's
dinners them said audaciousIy. with
little moue at him. HE orders the
most perfect dinners Of any one |
know"
"of course, with your wide expert
ence you ought to be a critical Judge
OF his ability" my mother-in-law
snapped back.
Her tone was even more insulting
than her words. 1t tipped with cruel
venom her allusion to the quiet, almost
cloistered life of my girIhood.
l saw Dicky's face flush hotly, and T
feared that he was about to utter an
angry retort in my defence. / knew his
mothers mood so well that was sure
any angry speech of his to her in her
present state of mind would be like
dropping a match into a powder mag
az1ne. So l spoke quickly, managing
to shake my head at Dicky, unobseryed
by his mother.
Please decide upon your order nc
quickly as you can, Dicky," / said. II
don't know that / ever was so hungry
before in my life"
You haven't any idea what hunger
is" Dicky said, banteringly. wait till
you've been through a days fishing
with me-"
l drew a long breath assI saw NV
mother-in- law adjust her lorgnette
and proceed to gaze through it with
critical hauteur at the other diners. 7
hoped that her curiosity and interest
in the things going on around her
would make her forget her ina inarv
grievances, but my hope was destined
to be short lived
1t was while we were discussing mr.
oysters, the very first offered of the
season, that she spoke to me, sudden
~, abruptly:
Margaret, do you know that man a.
the second table back of us? He hasn't
taken his eyes from you for the last
ten minutes"
My heart almost stopped beating
when heard my mother-in-law's
query concerning the man who she
said was looking at me so intentlv
from the table near ours in the Syden-
ham grill room.
My intuition told me at once the
identity of the gazer. It must he the
man whose uncanny mournful look
had so distressed me when / was wait
ing for Lillian Underwood in the lit
tie reception room at the Sydenham
the preceding Monday, the man who
had followed us to the little tea room
who had even taken the same train to
Marvin with me.
1 remembered Jim's hurried story of
the mysterious stranger who had brib-
ed the Crest Haven taxi driver to re-
veal my identity to him, after 1 had
evaded his scrutiny by getting off the
train~at Crest Haven instead of Mar
win. ~
l felt as If could not lift my eyes to
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1921-03-05
ADVENTURES OF
THE TWINS
By OLIVE ROBERTS BARTON

The minute the green bu1lfrog
reached the opening at the top of the
cave and came out into the sunlight,
there was a loud explosion and the
frog flew into thousand pieces. At
the same time, the wishing ring that
he had swallowed, fell at Nancys
feet.
"Wh-wh-what's happened?" stam
mered Nick, rushing to help his sister
Has the world blown up?"
mo, don't you see, MCKEE" Nancy
assured him. 'Tt's the wicked Jim.
His magic was no good on the equa-
tor and he's gone. The minute he
came out into the sunlight, he disap-
peared. Wen have no more trouble
now!"
I'm not so sure about that" said
somebody near.
The twins and the goat turned in
surprise. A clown in a white ana
black polka-dot suit stood beside them.
He did a somersault before the twins
had time to exclaim, ''Where did you.
come FROM" -
I'm Mr.. Bobadi1. the circus clown"
was the answer. 81 am no longer the
wicked Bobadil Jim. You see the
wicked fairy, Snitcher- Snatch. en-
chanted me so l could help him. I
just couldn't help being wicked. But
thanks to Miss Nancy here, / happen
ed to come onto the equator at noon,
which ends all magic, good and bad.
tried to avoid the equator as long
as / was wicked, because 1 didn't want
TO be good again. 1t had to be done by
somebody else, and Nancy was the
smart little person who thought of it.
Do you mind if I go with you the
rest of the way? 1 may be able to
help you"
THANK you," said the twins CRATE
fully. But I don't think We'll need
any more help now"
I'm not so sure" said Mr.. Boba-
dill "the goat ate your map"
Ito Be Continued)
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1921-03-05

away his light and announced his in
-tention of living in that city for the
rest of his life. The Associated Press
sent out the story that night and the
next morning every paper in the coun-
try carried the news that the city of
honest men had been located; that
Diogenes himself had said so; that he
had discontinued his search and de-
cided to make that place his future
home.
And many people came to the city
of honest men and many others pre-
ferred that city to it's competitors. And
the city and the citizens thereof
waxed fat and prospered.
1IORAL-Bo your bit. If possible
make it Two Bits.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1921-03-05
V E w S O F
J O u RN AL
r E A d E r S
The Journal is glad to print
short communications from read
ers on any topic OF interest.
Letters should be typewriter Ii
possible. and double spaced.
Feb. %, 1921.

L GU. 20, W. L.
Pensacola, Journal:
Editor:-I notice in this morning
paper another allusion to speak of
Pensacola as the 'Hydrangea City"
Now if there is any plant as dreary
looking as the hydrangea during the
month of the tourist season do not
know what's it's name.
The plant does not put out its leaves
until the latter part of March, nor
does it flower until early summer,
when all tourists are gone. 1t is not
a graceful plant only late in the spring
and summer. Certainly it's name will
arouse no pleasant recollections in the
minds of any who see it here in the
winter. The hydrangea is a lovely
spring, and summer flower, but no
good as a winter slogan.
Respectfully,
Mrs. Minnie Ruth Rutherford.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1921-03-05
TIE COST OF BEING POLITE

The American public could save $3,-
900, 600 a year in telegraph tolls by
disseminating the use of the word
please" in kilograms.
But what profit hath it that the
people save 100000 year, and lose
something of the sweetness of cour-
tesy.
There may be efficiency engineers
and cost economists, hunting for pen
MES to save who will be shocked by
suchs seeming waste of words and
money. But Americans, spending S3,-
100000 year on one courteous word
are investing well and wisely.
1t is really gratifying to find Amer
lea spending so much on one word of
courtesy when so many OF us are lax
in words and deeds of courtesy that
cost us nothing at all.
Courtesy is a sweetening element in
the ordinary relations of our common
life. We are not impolite people, but
we are in a hurry and in our hurry
we take the rougher way when the
smoother one is so much easier.
1t was a source of never-ending de-
light among men of the A. E. F. to
hear ticket-sellers at railroad stations
and clerks in postoffices in France,
say mercl monsieur (thank you sir)
when the sale of a stamp or ticket
was concluded. n,
1t was as If one had done them a
service by buying a ticket or a stamp.
Courtesy has become second nature
among the French.
Recently some newspapers have
been awarding cash prizes TO polite
folks discovered By reporters. These
were special rewards, but, in truth,
courtesy always has paid, one way or
another. The old nursery rhyme said
II well:
Kind hearts are gardens,
Kind thoughts are roots.
Kind words are blossoms,
Kind deeds are fruits.
IN. r. A. Editorial
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1921-03-05

To new maid: This is my sons
room. He's in YALE
"Ya? Mu brudder ban there too"
what year?"
mo year. da jodge yust say: You
Axel. 60 days in yair."
Truth Seeker.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1921-03-05

The famous Connecticut blue laws
were called 50 because they We're
printed on blue paper.
The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1921-03-05

TEACHER. you've been a naughty
boy. You must stay after school"
"All right, Miss Jones. if you aren't
afraid OF the scandal I'm mott"
Jack Canuck.