Indiana daily times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1914-1922, 1921-06-27
THE VALUE OF
FORMALITY.

FORMALITN.
Manners, then. age probably grounded
partly in fear But that is nothing
AGAINST them. Most of our virtues are
based on fear, according to the scientists
And whatever their origin, manners m
doubtedly add ease and grace TO life.
They lubricate personal contacts, saving
friction and at the same time lending
dignity to the social spectacle. 1t is nat
ural that DR. Eliot and his contempor-
sries should resent the passing Of formal
manners from so much of our life. They
are in some respects a genuine loss.
At the same time, there is something
Gained. We are less formal with each
other In part because we are less atralu
of each other. Hence, if there is less OF
formal grace in our intercourse. there is
more Of spontaneity and genuineness. II
is easier To get at man, to MAKE
friend of him. 1t is also easier for men
and women to get along with each other.
Surely the frank discussions which take
place between them nowadays are more
conducive to a real understanding than
the empty exchanges of rhetorical broad
sides which took place in victorian days
if we can believe the novelists.
Fear 10 longer plays such large part
in social relations. but fear is not the
only motive in manners. A feeling of
kindness and amiability also finds ex-
preston in them. 1t is this which gives
them spirit. as fear gives them form. Now
the form is gone, but the spirit has not
been abolished. W all know people
whose natural sweetness makes their
manners charming although they are
anything but formal. The trouble is
that vulgarity, bad taste. brutality, also
have free play where the formalisms have
been abandoned In a country such as
early Victorian England or our own
ante hellum South, children were taught
code of manners as rigid as the rules
of chess. On certain occasions they must
bow in certain ways. There were set
forms for saying and doing everything.
The cad and the dolt could thus be given
semblance of courtesy. They would
lack the grace which is lent by a fine
spirit, but their acquired formalisms
would keep them from being offensive.
Any one, If caught young enough, can be
taught the outward form of manners.
Even monkeys have been trained to good
table manners.
The case seems to be, then, that the
decay of formal manners has added to
the spontaneity of human intercourse,
and where natural good taste and good
feeling prevail 1t has probably not de-
tracted from the charm of social life,
On the other hand, it has undoubtedly
given free play to vulgarity and bad
taste and feeling, and has caused the
social spectacle as a whole to deteriorate.
You may consider 1t a gain or loss,
as you choose but in either case you
may comfort yourself with the thought
that it is inevitable There will be no
return tO the dovS of formal cOurfasieS
and long, gallant speeches. We have come
to care more for directness and honesty
than for grace and artificial beauty.
MANNERS
AND CHARACTER.
Beyond a doubt the decay of formal
manners has made life more difficult for
those who have strong feelings of irrita-
ton or resentment to conceal. Formal
manners tend to conceal these things au-
tomatieally. The proper speeches and
gestures are made from long habit, while
the inner man may be boiling. That
good manners are sometimes a sort of
heroism is pointed out by Nadal, an
American writer and an acute social OBJ
server. He notes the salient fact that
pleasant manners are relatively easy for
those who are happily adjusted to life
and well cared for, who encounter little
opposition. But they are another mat
ter for the man or woman who is cast
for fighting part in life, who is thrown
into the struggle with nothing but his
abilities and is forced to develop and as
sert them in the face of every kind of
opposition. Such persons inevitably gene
rate certain amount of bitterness which
1t is hard to keep out of speech and ac-
ton. Again there are some to whom
the conventions and customs of society
seem pleasant and easy, and others whom
they gall at almost every contact. In
these, too, a restrained and pleasant man
Nner may be little less than a heroism.
In estimating the manners of an indi-
vidual it is always well to take into ac-
count how much they represent of ir-
ritation or strong feeling held in leash.
ASSISTED AT 5000 WEDDINGS.