davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-01-08
MIR. B. Baer
SAYS
THEY'RE IN AGAIN.

Our next veto thrower
picked his White House
chef before selecting his
Cabinet, showing that the
stomach is more necessary
than the skull in Washing
ton.
Harding has just nom!-
mated his sixteenth tenta-
tive Cabinet. 1t means
nothing TO the average
voter. To him, Government
is political malaria. First.
Democratic chills. Then.
Republican fever.
Charles Hughes is Score
tary OF State and leader Of
the Cabinet orchestra. \
great future was predicted
for Charles and that
prophecy still holds good.
He always will have a
great future. He tasted
victory in 1916. but it
turned sour on his knife.
Secretary OF the Treas
ury is George Reynolds.
George signs all the dollar
bills and no poor family
should be without one. He
takes McAdoo's place in
the ever-loving and warm
pockets OF his countrymen.
Secretary OF War is AL
vim Hert. OF Kentucky. He
swung the solid South and
liquid North.
John Weeks is Secre-
tary of the Navy. There Is
every kind of a Sec.
but Pommery. Will Hays
will be Postmaster General.
Will is the man with the
everblooming smile. Two
days Of his new job and
the grin will withcr on
the vine.
Herb Hoover has accepted
n permanent Job in the
tentative Cabinet. Herb fed
Europe when America
needed Il the most. He
flirted with both parties
and dropped two dozen
handkerchiefs before one
was picked up.
Harry NJ. Daugherty is
the only Cabinet member
from Ohio in the tentative
chorus. which II proof that
il IL only tentative. Harry
Will he Attorney Gencral.
He will have charge %
alien property until we
sign the peace treaty. which
insures him "a hale and
hearty old age.
The Secretary Of our
Dwindling Commerce has
, not yet been tagged. II
Harding waits n couple e
weeks. we won't need any.
Secretary Of Agriculture
is Henry Wallace, with fun
charge Of farm lands. I'm
der the Blue Laws this
means Broadway on sun
days.
william Burke Is Secrc-
tary OF Labor. Everybody
labors except the Secretary.
Bill will bring the work
ingman and employer to-
gether, tho old fsllacy Of
oil and water not mixing
having been disproved by
proprietors OF country
garages.
This Cabinet is Temporal
rily permanent
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-01-08
!Sss1liEARra nSffIf<$Sa

A friend of HENRY SMITH sent
him this clipping from an Iowa
paper:
HERE 1T IS AT LAST.
Here Is the story that can't be beat!
II comes from Iowa: Seven years ago
a~farmer hung his vest on a fence in the
bsrnyard calf ciewed up poke,
of the garment In which was a standard
gold watch. Last week the animal a
staid old milch COW, butchered for
beef and the timepiece was found In such
a position between the lungs Of the COW
that the respiratiop-the closing in and
the Milling of the lung5-kept the stem
winder wound up. and the watch had
lost but four minutes IN the seven years
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-01-08
HERE 1T IS AT LAST.

The scientific traveller claims
that African natives do not
worry over short skirts. But il
IL understood they get peeved if
insects eat the fig leaves they
wear. L. NJ. O.SULLIVAN.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-01-08

Speaking Of kisses, saw the fol-
lowing in The Herald: "A story by
O'Henry, THE ENCHANTED
KISS continued from yesterday"
o boy. BROWN EYES.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-01-08

How much do you charge for
cildren's pictures?" she anxiously in
CURED of tho photographer.
''Three dollars dozen u"
"Well, I'll have to see you again.
I've only got eleven children"
YOUNG READER.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-01-08

I went
To tho theater
The other night
With low brow friend
The orchestra played
Little Brown jug"
He thought it was
The national anthem
And stood up
SO did I
Darn him.
OKLAHOMA BILL
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-01-08
A LOVERS LIST.

wish I were the china cup,
From which you drink your Tea,
For then ! know at every sup,
You'd give kiss to me.
FULLA FEELING
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-01-08
Sc UCH &!

So MUCH!
| often sit and medits
Upon the scurvy trick OF rs
That keeps me still celibs,
oh cruel rs
want I0der maid seds
To love me and he my ms.
Ny codes not so grs,
/ can not VS..
on rs, bea! bei 2ls.
Relieve my awful single sta.
And when I've this maid seds,
Wen osculs.
c. CALVERT X.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-01-08
DIVIDE TT Up,

DIVIDE 1T UP.
when a bit of sunshine hits you,
Just after a passing cloud:
when bit OF laughter gits you,
And your spine Is feeling proud,
Don't forget to up and fling 1t
At soul who's feeling blue:
For the minute that you sling IT,
It's coming back good to you.
RHYMESTER.
SHORT BUT SHARP.
Ndrv Rose
sat on q tack.
Mary rose.
NOAH COUNT
III like ther-r-r willard Hotel Ill
buy it," said the drunk to his friend.
And If | was as soused as you are
I'd sell II to you right now" the
friend remarked. IL. ID. i.
RULE /.
ICsa dogs delight
To bark and bite,
And little birds to sing
nut all a CAKE ever does
Is stare at everything.
boy" asked the well-meaning re-
former. what poor animal had to
suffer that your mother might wear
those beautiful furs?'
my papa FRANK FELkER.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-01-08

This Cabinet is Temporal
rily permanent
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-01-08

Relative to very large word
used in II and S, regular contrib,
NJ. FITCHETTE, finds in Shake
speare's Loves Labor Lost" the
word cabilitudinatatibus" and
in Dante's second book of DE Vul-
gari Eloquis" the word "onorifca-
bilitudinate"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-01-08

william Burke is Secrc-
tary OF Labor. Everybody
labors except the Secretary.
Bill will bring the work
ingman and employer to-
gether, the old fsllacy Of
oil and water not mixing
having been dlsprovcd by
prOprietors OF country
garages.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-01-08

Charles Hughes is Secrc-
tary OF State and leader of
the Cabinet orchestra. \
great future was predicted
for Charles and that
prophecy still holds good.
He always will have a
great future. He tasted
victory in 1915. but it
turned sour on his knife.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-01-08

Secretary OF War is Al
vim Hert, OF Kentucky. He
swung the solid South and
LIQUID North.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-01-08

Harding has just nom!-
mated his sixteenth tent1-
tive Cabinet. 1t means
nothing to the average
voter. To him, Government
is political malaria. First.
Democratic chiils. Then.
Republican fever.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-01-08

Secretary Of Agriculture
is Henry Wallace, with fun
charge Of farm lands. I'm
der the Blue Laws this
means Broadway on sun
days.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-01-08

Secretary of the Treas
ury is George Reynolds.
George signs all the dollar
bills and no poor family
should be without one. He
takes McAdoo's place IN
the ever-loving and warm
pockets OF his countrymen.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-01-08

The Secretary OF our
Dwindling Commerce has
not yet been tagged. II
Harding waits couple e
weeks, We won't need any.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-01-08

John Weeks is Secre-
tary of the Navy. There is
every kind of a Sec.
but Pommery. Will Hays
will be Postmaster General.
Will is the man with the
everblooming smile. Two
days Of his new job and
the grin will withcr on
the vine.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram., 1921-02-23
LEGAL NOTICE

In the matter OF the estate of Philip
NJ. Murray, deceased. In the Wayne
Circuit Court. January term, 1921
Notice is hereby given that Omer G.
Murray as administrator of the estate
of Philip NJ Murray deceased, has pre-
sented and filed his account and vouch-
ers in final settlement of said estate,
and that the same will come up for ex-
animation and action of said circuit
court on 12th day of March, 1921. at
which time all heirs, creditors or le-
Eatees of said estate required to
appear In said court and show cause, If
any there be, why said account and
vouchers should not be approved.
OMER G. MURRAY,
Administrator.
Feb16-23-Mar2
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram., 1921-02-23

$3.50 PER DAY paid one lady in each
town to distribute free circulars for
Economy Non-Alcoholic Flavoring.
Permanent position. F. E. Barr Co.,
Chicago.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram., 1921-02-23

matter off. You have waited too long
already for you own good. Come right
up to the office this week and make
all arrangements to begin your busi-
ness course next Monday. Richmond
business College. Colonial Building.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram., 1921-02-23

LADIES-We teach you hair-dressing.
marching, beauty culture, few weeks,
We place you in position. High SAL
ary. Write Moler College, los S. Wells,
Chicago.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram., 1921-02-23

FARMS FOR SALE
FARMS FOR SALE
FARM lANDS-Wisconsin

LANDOLOGY-Specia number just out
containing 1921 facts of clover land
in Marinette County. Wisconsin. If
for a home or as an investment you
are thinking of buying good farm
lands where farmers grow rich. send
at once for this special number of
Landology. 1t is free on request Ad-
dress Skidmore- Richie Land Co, 406
Skidmore-Riehle Bldg, Marinette, Wis
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram., 1921-02-23

TO MAKE 5000 MONTHLY ADDRESS,
ing. mailing circulars. soap 4c lb.
Complete instruction 25c. Varga Sup
ply Company, sci oliver ST, Cincin-
natl Ohio.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram., 1921-02-23
HELP WANTED-FEMALE

WANTED-Earnest reliable woman tt
manage established good paving bust
ness in Richmond. Box HS037, care
of Palladium
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1921-10-04
BASE BALL

The Fats" and Leans" who bat
tied in IA to game at the Second
street ball park last week, won by
the Leans" have arranged for
another game to be played on Tues
day, October II, weather permitting.
The entire proceeds will be donated
to the Massie Memorial Hospital. A
game is also being arranged for the
near future between the lawyers and
physicians of Paris, the proceeds to
go to the Bourbon County Health
and Welfare League.
Despite the threatening weather,
a crowd estimated at about one
thousand gathered Sunday after
noon at the Second street park to
witness the game between the Paris
Ruggles and the Mammoth Garage
team of Lexington. Both teams put
up a good game, but the locals could
not connect with SlOmer's delivery
or put a runner across the home
plate The final score stood
Mammoth Garage Z, Paris Ruggles
0. The features of the game were
the hitting by Sauer, the pitching
of Slomer, of the Mammoth Garage
team, a sensational running catch by
T. Burnett and the fielding anC
batting of Woods, for the locals. The
batteries were: For Paris, Campo
roni and Carter; for the Mammoth
Garage, Slomer and Heber. I'm
pire, Santen.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1921-10-04
COKE FOR TOBACCO
SEE CHAS. S. BRENT & BRO.
(Sept13-tf)
OFFICERS RAID HOME; ARREST
ONE SUSPECT

Chief of Police Fred Link, Patrol
man Robt. Lusk and Special Patrol
man McGoldrick, participated in a
raid Saturday night on the home of
Frank Johnson, colOred, on Sycamore
street, where they found large
quantity of ''red" and white" joy
juice, and large number of empties.
Johnson was placed under arrest and
taken to jail. He claimed he had Sc
cured the white whisky from Cynthi-
ana and the red liquor from Cincin-
natl. When placed under arrest an
automatic pistol was found on his
person.
At the examining trial held before
County Judge George Batterton yes
terday morning Johnson entered a
plea of guilty on the charge of hav-
| ing unlawfully liquor in his posses
sion, and was held in $500 bond to
appear before the grand jury at the
next term of the Bourbon Circuit
| Court. Failing to furnish the re-
CURED bond, he was remanded to
the custody Of Jailer ThOs. Taul.
Johnson has figured in the courts
before, having been accused of the
murder of Zephlee Current, colOred
in this city some time go, but on
trial was acquitted. He was later ar
rested on charge of robbing Calude
| Caywood, taxicab driver.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1921-10-04
COUNTY, KENTUCKY, TUESDAY,
SUCCESS OF FALL FESTIVAL
NOW ASSURED

With assurance of support from a
large number of local business men
having been obtained, the success
of the Fall Festival, which will be
held October 26, 81 and %, now
seems certain. Committees of the
Paris Commercial Club have been
making canvass of business houses
for the purpose of selling space in
the large tobacco warehouse, and
are reporting exceptionally good sue
cess. At meeting of committee
chairmen Friday evening at the
Commercial Club office, progress was
reported in every department.
The entertainment committee,
composed of o. T. Hinton, D. Y. l..
Farley and G. S. Jefferson, is plan
ming a program which will be varied
during the festival Vaudeville,
band concerts, pageant, and mar
di-gras are all being considered and
will probably be included in the bill
of entertainment and amusement.
Forty-four booths are available
for the merchants exhibit, which
will occupy large portion of the
floor space, and most of these have
already been contracted for The
sale of booths is expected to net
over $1,000, which will be applied
toward the expenses of the festival
and arrangements are being made fol-
an additional fund of $1,000 to ST.
500 to guarantee the financial end OF
the exhibition, which will be the
biggest affair of the kind ever at
tempted in this county
1t is the plan to use the Paris
Tobacco Warehouse, the one in
which the Billie Sunday meeting
was held last Spring. Plans have
been drawn by F. G. Hagan, show
ing large auditorium in the real
of the warehouse, while the. re
mainder of the floor space will b.
taken up with the merchants ex
hibits, the automobile show, dis
plays of agricultural products, AM
the women's and children's exhibits
/ The warehouse will be elaborated.
decorated and special lighting eff
| fects will be arranged.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1921-10-04
OPEN SESSION OF RECREA.
TIONAL CLUB

Quite large crowd gathered at
the High School gymnasium to at
tend the open session of the Recre-
ational Club, which was given I'M
der the direction of Mrs. H. B. Carr,
president, and Miss Nell Robbins,
Community Service Director. Several
races were held, among them a
cracker-eating race and a lobster
race. Every one Joined in the grand
march and the lobster race deserves
special mention Those who partici-
pated in this were, DR.. M. H. Daley,
Messrs. Peale Collier, Chas. Fithian,
Walter Payne, Finnell Galloway and
Prof. Scott. After a mad scramble
which brought forth peals of laugh
ter, Mr.. Galloway was declared to
be the Most Eminent Lobster" with
Prof. Scott a close second.
Mr.. Harry Kerslake delighted the
audience with a number of vocal
selections, with guitar accompani-
ment. Altogether it was very hap
ply event and the public is cordially
invited to these open sessions, which
take place the third Thursday in
each month.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1921-10-04
BOURBON REPRESENTATIVE
PREDICTS DEMOCRATIC
SUCCESS

A Democratic majority of twenty
members in the Lower House at the
coming session of the State Legisla-
ture, which will convene in Frank
fort, January 3, is predicted by Rep
resentative James III. Thompson, OF
Bourbon county floor leader of the
Democrats in the last session, who
has just returned to Paris from a
tour of many sections of the State.
Mr.. Thompson said he had travel
ed through practically all of the
districts and in many had been in
close touch with the situation In
some places, however, he said, he
had only the views of district poll
ticians to support his statements
''In the First District we will
gain two members" said Mr..
Thompson. ''In the Third District
which is normally Democratic, the
Democrats will return to the House
about the same number that repre-
sented the district before The
Fourth District will have but few
changes, though Democrats from
Louisville are confident they will
win two seats in the House. The
Sixth District along with the Sew
enth, are both all right, and will
return their usual large Democratic
majorities. Most encouraging con-
ditions exist in the Ninth and Tenth,
and it would not surprise me to see
the Democrats make several gains
! in these districts"
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1921-10-04
KENTUCKY BOYS STAR ON vIR-
GINA VARSITY

Kentucky is represented on the
University of Virginia Varsity elev-
en- this year by Sam Ward, of Paris,
and Mike Hubbard, of Bardstown.
Both Blue Grass lads are playing
their first season of varsity football
but have been members of the sec
ond string eleven for the past two
years.
Ward comes from a family of
football players, his two older
brothers having been members of
former University of Virginia
teams. All three attended prep
school at Kentucky Military Insti-
tute- The present Virginia player
is recognized as one of the sturdiest
guards on the squad. He is an
aggressive player on the offense and
a bulwark of strength on the de-
Tense. His stellar performance in
last Saturdays battle against Da-
wilson College, which resulted in a
% to O victory for the Old DOmin-
ion aggregation, drew much lauda-
tory comment.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1921-10-04
DEMOCRATS ARE URGED TO REG.
ISTER TO-DAY.

County Judge George Batterton
presided and Sheriff Will G. McClin-
took was secretary, of a Democratic
"get-to-gether" meeting held at the
court house Friday night. Plans
we're made at the meeting for in
surfing a full and complete regis
tration of Democrats to-day. Men
and women captains and workers
were selected for the different pre-
cincts and a sufficient number OF au-
tomobiles secured to get out the
Democratic voters.
All voters are urged to register
to-day so they may vote in the COM
ing elections. All desiring to take
part in the elections for county or
city officials will see the necessity
of complying with this duty. Vot-
ers must register to-day in their
precincts. The voting booths will
he open from six a. m. to nine p. m.
Persons who fail to register to-day
will not be permitted to vote later
unless they were sick or out OF
town on that date. Those who will
be twenty-one on the date of the
regular election, November s, will
register to-day. 1t must be remem.
bered that every voter must register
this year.
So, don't fail to go to your vot'
ing place to-day sometime between
six a. m. and nine p. M, and regis
teri
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1921-10-04
CUMBERLAND TELEPHONES 10.
CAL SERVICE BETTER

Some ti1:c 50 THE NEWS print
ed an item voicing the sentiment OF
a large number of patrons of the
Cumberland Telephone Co, in regard
to the poor service rendered by the
local exchange. During that period
Mr. H. H. Floyd, local manager, was
out of the city, being in Petoskey,
Mich, for the relief of hay fever.
In justice to Mr. Floyd, he asks
us to state that the trouble which
existed at that time, and for which
there was just ground for complaint,
has been entirely obviated, and the
local patrons are getting splendid
service. Mr.. Floyd stated to THE
NEWS that a part of the trouble
was due to few dissatisfied and dis
loyal employees under his jurisdic-
ton, and that his superiors had en-
tirely absolved him of personal
blame in the matter. Several of the
experienced operators who had been
off duty at the time have returned,
and the service is now all that could
be desired. THE NEWS gladly
gives publicity to Mr.. Floyd's state
ment.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1921-10-04
PARIS HIGH SCHOOL ON ACCRED.
TIED LIST

Prof Lee Kirkpatrick, Superinten-
ent of the Paris High Schools, is
very proud of the following letter,
received recently from Harry Clark,
OF Nashville Tenn, Secretary of the
Southern Commission of Accredited
Schools:
Dear Prof. Kirkpatrick:
You have been proud of your
rating as one Of the best schools of
the nation. You will be still more
gratified to learn that our list has
been endorsed by West Point Mill
tary Academy, the United States Blu
reau of Education, and the leading
colleges of the nation. One hun
dred and fifty colleges accept this
list, but require examinations from
graduates of Southern secondary
schools which are not on this list.
For the full list see the January
1921, High School Quartery. The
regulations for West Point will be
found printed there. Other colleges
ouch as Tulane, state that they will
soon require examinations from
graduates from schools not on this
list
please post this letter on your
bulletin board for the information
of your students that they may
properly appreciate the prestige OF
graduating from your school.
Your Secretary,
HARRY CLARK"
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1921-10-04
YARDMASTER WILDER HURT BY
YARD ENGINE

George w. Wilder, for forty years
Yardmaster of the Louisville e
Nashville, at this point, is confined
to his home at 1921 Cypress street,
as result of injuries received Sat-
urday morning, when he was struck
by the yard engine in the South
Paris yards.
Mr. Wilder was standing on a
switching track watching two
freight trains passing, and did not
hear the approach of the yard en-
CINE. Happening to turn his head
he saw the engine, but too late to
avoid being struck He endeavored
to Jump from the track, but was
struck and knocked from the ties.
He was picked up by trainmen and
taken home where an examination
revealed three fractured ribs, and
cuts about the face and shoulders.
He was reported yesterday as rest
ing comfortably.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1921-10-04
LATEST FIGURES IN THE BUR.
LEY CAMPAIGN.

The work of taking the census
of the tobacco crop In Bourbon
county, which has been in progress
for several days under the supervls-
ion of the Cooperative Burley To-
bacco Marketing Association, is pro-
pressing RAPIDLY, and will, it was
said yesterday, be finished in few
days.
According to the latest figures on
file in the Office Of Chairman Sam
Clay, the farmers of Bourbon county
have to date signed over 7,479,z3o
pounds of tobacco to the Marketing
Association. This makes almost
eighty-five per cent. of the tobacco
grown in Bourbon county this year.
The campaign will continue until
the full one hundred per cent: haa
been reached, or until every tobacco
grower in the county has become 9
] membsr OF the Association.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1921-10-04
PARIS AND GEORGETOWN PLAY
TIE GAME

The game of foot ball at George
town Friday afternoon between he
Georgetown and Paris High School
elevens, resulted in tie, neither
team making score. The Paris
lads made a mighty struggle for
the honor, but Georgetown was in
the way. The locals were accOmpa-
MED by large delegation of root
ers.''
The football elevens of the Paris
High School and the Cynthiana
High School will meet in game at
McClintock Field, on Winchester
street, in this city Friday afternoon,
October z, at 2:30 O'Clock. Paris is
expecting a good fast game on this
occasion. Cynthiana defeated the
Falmouth High School team last Fri
day by a ocsre of 40 to 0, while Paris
held the Georgetown team to tie
less score.