davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-05-05
THE LINCOLN STATUE.


(The statue of Lincoln was re-
moved from Court House square by
act Of Congress, and is now lying
in box in the store yard of the Su-
perintendent of Public Buildings and
Grounds awaiting action of Congress
or some other authority:)
They tell me you are resting
In cellar cold and dark,
feel there're only testing.
Twas done more for lark.
Where spiders weave,
l can't believe
They'll keep you from the park.
miss you in my wonderings
Your kind and sorrowful face,
Many are still pondering
When they see the vacant space.
Why not repose,
Where once you rose,
To edify the place? l.. p.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-05-05

JOSH HUCKINS. the motor
man. says he s. alters been used
to pushing plows. but now he's
kinder gettin' used to pulling EN-.
w. II. o.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-05-05
ICE CREAM PRICES.

Milk and cream have again dropped
in price. Sugar Is selling at less than
cents per pound. Candy has come
down. Despite ell this the price OF
Ice cream remains at war figures in
drug stores and elsewhere. Some
drug stores stir charge 81 cents for
q pineapple Sundae. How's this2
J. A. JOHNSON.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-05-05
FOR BASEBALL BUGS.

J. l.. Y. submits this problem to the
math sharks and baseball bugs:
New York is ahead of Chicago m
the baseball standings. Each team
PLAYS two games. winning both. and
Chicago goes ahead of New York. Fig
ure IL out.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-05-05
I'm trying awful hard to be
modern. but derned IL 1t amt
tough to have to go in a soda
fountain for a ham sandwich.
OLD HORSE.
ONE OF MILO HIS FRIENDS.

Here's to Jack, now in his grave
No more whiskey will he crave,
And on his tombstone will be wrote;
Full many a quart went down his throat
MILO III.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-05-05

One out OF every ten mar
riages winds up in court of
domestic relations. Other
nine battle 1t through to Bit
ter finish. One hundred
thousand divorces per fiscal
year is grand average of
this grander country. Yet
they call 1t the United
States. ..
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-05-05


manhood of the nation were
pouring out of the Port of New
York, bound through hades to the
inferno of the greatest war OF his
tory. So
From every State in the Union
they came, eager, courageous, de-
termined that the world should be
assured of safety from destruction.
And they sailed with their faces to
the east, TRUSTING all their earth
ly treasures to the honor of the
Government for which they were
offering their lives.
Many of them never returned.
Others came back so crippled, SO dis
abled, that with bitter hearts they
envy the buddies who at least do
not know hunger and want and in
gratitude rest under the lilies
of France or the poppies Of Flanders.
The ones who remained at home
have SO easily forgotten. 1t was
intriguing to get up bazaars and
benefits for "our boys overseas" to
do Red Gross work in becoming uni
forms, and wave Liberty Bonds
when the flag went by.
A lot of swank could be gotten
into the words "I'm doing my Bit"
and it was mighty easy to cheer,
care we downhearted, no!"-when
the other fellow was the one who
had to stand in the trenches.
But if by-the-way patriotism is
easily discarded, when no more glory
parades are in prospect, be sure
there ARE those who have not, and
will not, forget some, things.
For every soldier sent overseas
some heart ached and agonized at
home.
Those hearts will never heal, and
some have daily. before them the
wrecks of once stalwart husbands
and sons.
Remember
Indeed, we remember, we who
were overseas, and we who LIVED
the war at home.
We remember those mornings
when, surprised that we were yet
alive, we searched a sullen sky for
the sun which had become only a
huge time-clock in the, factory of
Death. Those mornings when our
heavy eyes saw that what had been
a pleading voice at our side during
the black night was now only an
added item to the list Casualties"
We remember the brave buddies
who carried on, sick, wounded, dis
heartened, but FIGHTING. Not
cheering, not making speeches, not
begging, but winning this war, dy-
ing in this war.
We remember the service flags
at home, too.
One was high up in the window
of a huge apartment house, and one
day, as the bus passed, a little old
lady stood there by that flag. The
white of the flag was not so snowy
as her hair, and the blue and red
were not more emblematic of truth
and courage than the undaunted
spirit in her face.
She is remembering the son, who,
blinded, will never again see the
light of day in his native land. The
exploiters of patriotism have all
forgotten her-and him. She cares
for him as best she can with the
pitiful allowance finally obtained
from the country WITH WHICH
HE DID NOT BARGAIN when he
answered it's call He cannot even
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-05-05
QUESTION NO. II.a1a.

Bill, have yon uhiskers! It's
very important for me TO knoio.
Please tell po' LIE.
No. The Office Goat had TO have
whiskers and so gave what / should
have had to him. BILL.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-05-05
MIR. B. Baer

MERRY DIVORCE BELLS.
Although handicapped by
the war. divorce is again re-
gazing it's ,rightful place as
our leading industry.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-05-05

FRED J. SCHWAB, H. SMITH,
and other contribs send their best
wishes to JOE CONKLIN, i'll In
Washington Asylum Hospital, after
an operation.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-05-05

Q. Was poker played on the ark7
A. No, because nobody could hold
four of kind NJ NJ
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-05-05

Some men quit cold, and say
II can't" but what I want
to tell you is, ike Kahn" ,
lives right In d. C.
OIDONO.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-05-05
REAL FRESH EGGS.

GEORGE COX went to the P
street market the other day and be-
gan bargaining with an old colored
woman for some eggs.
Are these eggs really fresh!" he
inquired
"Deed dey is, mister. Dem eggs
was not to be laid till tomorrow. !"
Cox never before bought eggs that
were laid the day before they were
due.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-05-05
HELPFUL HINTS.

HELPFUL HINTS.
HINT NO. 4-11-44.
Ladies. II you can not make
your hairpins stay in after sham
pooling your hair, try dipping
them in mucilage first.
HINT NO. 1-4-U.
Do not wear tight shoes to
church. as they cramp the sole.
HINT NO. 913, 496,T42.
Do not wash your hair too
often, as 1t may cause water on
the brain. HOMO SAPIENS.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-05-05
NO SMOKING.

NO SMOKING.
Saw this sign:
THE CENRAL SMOKE
rs GFNRAL NUISANCE
TO GENRhI. PUBLIC
DON'T SMOKE HERE.
w. p.
She-Why do so many cakes"
have shiny hair7
He-I guess they must use a harA
wood varnish. CHEERUPADIST.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-05-05

Up until 1870 divorces were
as scarce as bathtubs on
Mount Vesuvius. Divorce
was discovered about the
same time as operation for
appendicitis. II you didn't
have one or other around
1880 you couldn't get close
enough. to society to get
snubbed.
Around 1890 divorce was
no longer experiment, but
necessity. In 1900, at close
of nineteen centuries OF
progress. there were two
kinds of chimes in church
towers. Wedding carillons
and alimony bells.
Ten years ago, in 1910. the
400 weren't exactly Blue
boards and GATHERINGS OF
Russia, but they had. per
fected sort of Progressive
Mormonism. No man had
more than one wife at a time,
But he had dozen wives
dozen times.
In 1920 divorce documents
were easier to get than
cigarette papers.
Old-fashioned couples used
to get married. Grow old
and gray together. New
fashioned couple get d.
vorced because science has
made 1t possible to grow
old and gray by yourself. .
OF course, wife IL great help
in assisting husband to
grow old and gray. -
1t used to take lifetime to
grow old and gray. DO IT
now in week.
Where. IL picture of four
grandparents that used to
dangle on wall in oval
frames7 Don't see them in
modern apartments. Family
album IL loaded with ALI
mony vouchers. Only one
jump from Gretna Green to
Get Tho Green.
Old-time girl used to look
forward TO marriage. New
time girl looks backward to
II. Not that marriage is
failure.
Institution OF marriage
will never be failure 80 long
, as Institution of divorce II
succRaA
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-05-05
AN APARTMENT INNOVATION.

AN APARTMENT INNOVATION.
A Washington paper a few days
ago contained an advertisement OF an
apartment for rent, part of 1t being:
In excellent apartment building,
apartment OF two bedrooms. two
baths, LOVING room, kitchenette and
breakfast room.
The printer may have intended to
put it LIVING" but. anyway, hear
there was an awful rush for that
apartment.
EAMON SUILLEABHAIN.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-05-05
MANA HINT ON HOW
TO KEEP HIM SATISFIED

II your culinary efforts are often
failures, girls. don't despair. You see
a mans heart and stomach may lie
closely related, but IL you can listen
to his tales OF his own proves. his
complaint against the unreasonable
boss .he has, his stories about how
tired he is, and how hard he works,
even though you know he was In
poker party the night before, or lie
wouldn't be so tired: II you can sug-
gest just a walk or movie, when
you know he's been losing on the
ponies, and never. never let him sus-
pect that YOU KNOW ANYTHING
about him, well. my dear. your chances
are good even IL your biscuits would
make good door weights. Besides,
you can buy prepared hour. It's very
good. S0l9 WEST.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-05-05

Institution OF marriage
will never be failure 80 long
a. institution of divorce 10
succeaA
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-05-05

Old-time girl used to look
forward TO marriage. New
time girl looks backward to
II. Not that marriage Is
failure.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-05-05

IT used to take lifetime to
grow old and gray. DO 1t
now in week.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1921-05-05

In 1920 divorce documents
were easier to get than
cigarette papers.
Fitzgerald leader enterprise and press. (Fitzgerald, Ben Hill County, Ga.) 1921-1964, 1921-05-16
CHINESE HAVE OWN COURTS
orIentaIs in This Country Administer
Justice Without Troubling the
Regular Tribunals.

Completely isolated from any inter-
ference from the occidental officers OF
the law, the Chinese have their own
courts of law. Criminals against this
code, when punished, are not hailed be-
fore the white mans tribunal. AS
conclusive evidence, examine the
d0ckets of any court, In an attempt to
find where one Chinese has issued a
complaint against another, say the po-
lice. Quick execution under the busy
life Of downtown Portland, Is said to
have been meted out to many men,
while nilady shopped above.
At any rate that is the gist of one
OF the many tales told about police
headquarters concerning Portland
Chinatown, by an "unchow" who
should know. Most Of the police are
aware of the suspected existence OF
the tunnel. The numerous raids
against gambling dens, which to the
public are more or less routine aft
fairs, are tinged with the thrill of adj
venture for the police, who wonder
which one of their number will be
the first to discover one Of the en-
frances to the mythical passageway.-
Portland OregOnian.
Fitzgerald leader enterprise and press. (Fitzgerald, Ben Hill County, Ga.) 1921-1964, 1921-05-16
sondified OIL Economic Fuel.

French chemists have announced
thai they are meeting with signal sue
cess in tbs effort to save and conserve
the fuel supply by a process which
soldines the oil and makes 1t In this
shape much easier to handle and eco
nonical to burn as fuel.
At no distant date. it is promised,
II win he possible to use the new
product as substitute for heavy fuel
oils In furnaces, locomotives, and for
other industrial purposes where coal
conservation Is big issue,
Not only will the product not be af-
feCted by changes of temperature, but
Ii will also withstand combustion I'M
less In direct contact with flames, while
1t Is easily extlngushable by water.
Preliminary samples already pro
duced have proved too costly.
Fitzgerald leader enterprise and press. (Fitzgerald, Ben Hill County, Ga.) 1921-1964, 1921-05-16
Remarkable ReIuian Gun.

One of the most curious products of
the Belgian gunmakers' art. says Pop
uIar Mechanics Magazine, Is now In
the possession of a Colorado sports
man. This gun is remarkable for Its
arrangement of seven barrels In one
the composite tube with It's cluster of
q heavy-gauge shotgun barrel Seven
.22-caliber rifle cartridges are inserted
In the breech openings, and fired sim
uItaneously by Il single firing pin and
hammer. The shell ejectOr Is re-
movable disk with seven holes, which
swings back when the lock is opened.
Fitzgerald leader enterprise and press. (Fitzgerald, Ben Hill County, Ga.) 1921-1964, 1921-05-16
Indian Chief Drives Auto.

An Indian Chief, Tony Tommy, OF
the Florida Seminoles, who still wear
the garb of their forefathers, is the
first OF his tribe to buy and operate
hts own automobile After course
Of instruction at "A garage in Miami,
the chief now rolls Into town each
week from his village, near Fort
Ihuderdale, at the wheel of his ma
ct,ne. but with pair OF hornrim
glasses as his only other concession
to the ways of the palefaces.
Fitzgerald leader enterprise and press. (Fitzgerald, Ben Hill County, Ga.) 1921-1964, 1921-05-16
long rhumb-stronu VIII.

Il the top joint of your thumb Ia
long, il shows that you have good will
power. Well-developed reasoning fac
ulties are possessed by those people
who have thumbs the second joints of
which are long. Thumbs that work
easily are owned by careless, happy
go-lucky, spendthrift individuals. A
sttff. firm iointed thumb however
shows that the person Is keen, tact
full. self possessed, and cautious-the
sort of man who will get Gu In the
world.
Fitzgerald leader enterprise and press. (Fitzgerald, Ben Hill County, Ga.) 1921-1964, 1921-05-16
Oak In Hall of Fame.

Before Basking Ridge, N. j.. took
It's place In the world an oak stood
there. The people Of this New Jersey
town can trace the trees history for
400 years, but the church is only 200
years old. 1t has just celebrated
that event. Miss Margaret Hitch
cock of Morristown and Mrs. VIII
liam u. Baneker Of Basklng Ridge
nominate the tree for a place in the
Hall of Fame which the American
Forestry association is compiling of
circumference of 1871 feet 9 feet
above the ground
Fitzgerald leader enterprise and press. (Fitzgerald, Ben Hill County, Ga.) 1921-1964, 1921-05-16
Removing Label.

To easily and quickly remove a
label from a bottle, wet the face Of
the label with water and hold for a
moment over any convenient fame
The steam formed penetrates the label
at once and softens the paste.
Fitzgerald leader enterprise and press. (Fitzgerald, Ben Hill County, Ga.) 1921-1964, 1921-05-16

Or, E Escomel describes In Analls
de la FacuItad de MedIclna China,
Peru) certain-pseudo beetles the blood
of which has from time immemorlal
been used by the natives for curing
warts. Under It these growths turn
white, as If cauterized by an acid.
New-York tribune., 1921-03-13

close scrutiny by the Department OF
Finance of the collateral submitted
provides an ample measure OF safety"
II. B. Shaw. general manager Of the
Union Bank Of Canada. stated that the
rediscounting privilege with the Do
minon government available under the
finance act, 1914, was used N large
measure to assist farmers and ranch
ers last year. Greater curtailment Of
loans would have been necessary if
the banks had been obliged to depend
exclusively upon their own resources.
Mr.. Shaw said that the Minister OF
Finance was 10 be strongly indorsed
for taking the position that the legifi-
mate needs of the country must be
financed over difficult period even
though it might mean temporary IN
fation
1t is apparent that the banks have
been conservative III availng them
selves OF the privilege Of rediscount-
ing. The official return OF the char
tered banks as Of December 81, 1920.
showed balances due to Dominion
government, after deducting advances
for credits, pay lists. etc" Of Sis
9S4,574, of which a considerable part
represented rediscounts with the De
partment of Finance. This amount was
very much lower than in any other
month in 1920, the reduction being made
possible partly by repayments from
the British government, on account Of
credits extended by the Canadian banks
which totalcd last summer as much
as 5000 900 900
When these credits became due the
British government paid $50 100000 on
account, and the banks agreed to renew
the balance of the loan on the under
standing that the Dominion govern
ment would allow them 10 finance
against the Treasury by rediscounts)
to the amount Of the loan still unpaid.
Barring unexpected financial exigen-
cies, this item in the Canadian bank
statement may be expected 10 return
TO the amount of normal current bal
ances by spring Of 1922, and perhaps
even before that time. Substantial re
ductions already have been made since
January /, 1921.
Further legislation may not be neces-
( sary to continuance of government
Treasury discounting in times of emer-
gency. On the other hand. it is possible
that the principle may be made per
manent feature of Canadian finance by
abolishlng the necessity for a procla-
nation. Ihe decennial revision of the
Canadian bank act IS due by 1923. and
it Is possible that some provision for
emergency rediscounts may be incor-
porated at such revision.
Some legislation TO "rcguarize" such
rediscounts seems to be expected: at
any rate, it IS likely that the principle.
Of Treasury rediscounts in times Of ma
tlonal emergency or general financial
crisis will be continued Adoption Of
sch principle Will assure to the Cana
/ dian banks any advantages OF central
banking or of the Federal Reserve or
ganization IN the United States. which
are not already possessed under the
Canadian branch banking system, and
which are considered desirable by con-
servative authorities on finance.
New-York tribune., 1921-03-13

ready-made clothing, hats and shoes.
Stiff hats are in small demand now. but
soft hats are finding ready sale at the
new scale Of prices. Shoe retailers find
little or no demand for high shoes. Men
have worn brogue oxfords all winter and
apparently intend doing so all summer.
since the best sellers at present arc the
double solcd heavy brogues or oxfords
originally designed as a sports shoe for
wear on the rough country roads.
Taking the large department stores
as fair samples of general retail trends
at present, it is found that dry goods
and apparel are the fastest moving
goods. Furniture and household fur
nishings, carpets, rigs, etc, are some
what dull. The merchants explain this
largely by the housing shortage. which
has kept people from shifting their liv-
ing quarters about Until there is
resumption IN home building, the mer-
chants are resigned to dull business
in these lines.
The vast increase In the distribution
OF cottons, woolens and silks over the
retail counters for home dressmaking
occasioned by the great rise in prices
of ready made garments for women, has
not receded, according to the expert
ence of most retailers. 1t is felt that
the economies in home sewing have
made such lasting impression upon
the new generation, which grew up
largely in an era of ready made gar
nents, that they have not been shaken
by the decline in apparel prices to any
great extent.
High priced icMelrN art objects and
New-York tribune., 1921-03-13

with certain style that may be
dropped quickly by the public.
In the character of merchandise now
demanded by the public there have been
some remarkable changes from last year.
Although there is less call for purely
luxury goods, high quality is still domi-
nnnt. In mems and womcn's apparel,
particularly, the demand has shifted
from the class Of goods that merely look
expensive, to that which cmbody real
style and quality. Clothes arc less
gaudy than they were a year ago, and
this has been brought about purely by
the consumers attitude, say the re-
taicrs.
AT the Same time there is a sharp
avoidance of the conventional. as re-
vealed by the slight call for high silk
hats, although dress clothes arc enjoying
a fair demand. A further subdivision
in dress garments also is noted, in that
dinner jackets and tuxedo coats are
being bought by men to be worn at for
maj SOCIAL functions Wnefc the full
dress suit is conventionally considered
proper.
Apparel retailers remark that de-
cided swing toward sport clothes or gar
ments for daily use that have the sports
touch about them. An executive of a
prominent Fifth Avenue apparel shop
said more sport hats were being worn
by women who never visited golf
course, tennis court or a country club.
than were worn by those who did. 81
honestly believe" he remarked with a
smile, "that the sports touch in mourn
ing millinery would not be amiss at
present.
The same trend is found in men $
New-York tribune., 1921-03-13

ether similar goods that fall in the
purely luxury class are not being
bought with the avdity shown last
year. The decline in security and bond
values, tho dccrcase,in earnings Of bust
nesses, etc., have cramped the spend
ing power OF the wealthy people who
patronized these departments. The rich
workingman, SO prevalent in retail
shops last year, in the piano and phono-
graph departments, has largely disap-
peared.
1t is in the character of patrons that
the retailer finds the greatest progress
in the return to normal This is illus
trated by the statement of the
manager of the mems shoe de-
partment in Fifth Avenue shop,
to the effect that in one day last
week he personally greeted four old
time customers who said they had not
been in the store for year or more.
These men we're typical business men
who had economical on their clothing
expenditures during the era of high
prices. The same trend is noted by the
credit managers for another Fifth Ave
nue. establishment, which caters largely
to the great middle class and to me-
dium- priced department store. The
white collar" brigade, otherwise
known as the salared class, is coming
back to its old established shopping
places, according to all reports, and is
keeping up the volume Of merchandise
distributed over the counters, whereas
the workingman and the wealthy, both
Of whose incomes have been impaired
through the industrial depression, have
curtailed their expenditures.