Iron County news. [volume] (Hurley, Wis.) 1913-1950, 1921-08-06

z teetotaler. ! an not q intimate
terms with Mr. Origins. although I
cali al his store now and then 10 pur-
chase some Of his cigars. which are
made Of ensiiage. He sells the worst
smokes in this town, and should be re-
buked for that, but I'd never suspect
him OF being an inebrlate.
He might bcccyae one II It hap
pened 10 rain gin some night, and he
had barrel under tie raIuspour. bur
so long as frewater costs money there
isn't much danger OF Mr.. Origins
going astray. He is the most passion
ately economical man / ever saw. HIS
respect Tor penny is abnormal. a
week or TWO ago l bought q cigar al
his remnant counter. and was short
one cent when paid for il. I told him
I'd pay the cent the next tine
dropped in, and 1 fully intended 10,
but forgot 10 drop IN for several
days. During that period. Mrs. Jiggers,
/ met him on the street several times,
and he boued LIE Tor that cent. with
tears in his eyes. at every encounter.
4 man Of THAI character Won't waste
any money ia Tiotous living You may
paste that in your Sunday bonnet, my
dear Mrs. Jigggers, Tor your guidance
when you are trying To size up the
cauber Of your friends aud acquaiut-
ances.
7 met Mr.. Octagon on the street 10
EGE he "a
traIing the unwisdom of jumping to
conclusions. The other evening when
he stepped cato the front porch 10 see
If the newspaper had come he found a
sample package Of snUtf, which had
been left there by some immoral dis
tributor.
MIR. 0ctagon had never taken a
pinch Of snuff in his life, and he was
curious to know what the effects were.
Curiosity, l may remark incidentally,
is another weakness responsible for
much trouble and suffering, and trust
you viii guard against il hereafter,
Mrs. Jiggers. 1t leads elderly land
ladies TO ransack the trunks Of their
boarders and read old letters which
were not meant for alien eyes. The
fact that you are blushing shows that
you are not entirely calloused.
well, Mr.. Octagon put the packet
Of snuff in his vest pocket and sat
around the fire until his wife left the
room on some errand, and Unen he tore
open the paper and inhaled a few
grains of the stuff. He says he
thought he would sneeze the top Of his
head of. and dislocate his ears. He
whooped and kerchooed until you
could have heard him half a mile
away, and then his wife came rushing
in.
'Ebenezer Octagon, said she, you
so to bed this minute or y0uu be down
with pneumonia tomorrow. Don't stop
to argue-I won't hear a word on
with you"
"Octagon couldn't get in a word and
didn't want to very much. being
ashamed To have his Wife know he was
experimenting with snuff SO he trun-
died Of to bed at seven o'clock in the
evening, and his wife rubbed goose
grease all over his neck and chest and
piled 500 pounds Of blankets on him,
and made him drink three or four gall
Ions Of yarb tea that-tasted Ike the
morning after the Fourth of July ana
be lay there sweating all night, the
most miserable man in town, all be-
cause his wife possessed the feminine
weakness for jumping to conclusions.
SO let rs be on our guard against
such mental infrmities, Mrs. Jiggers,
and meanwhile I would suggest that
you replenish the maple strip pitcher.
These pancakes are too dry and dusty