davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The fool-killer., 1921-12-01
TOO ROUGH, Ell?

Some people complain that
The Fool-Killer is too rough.
Well, it is.
And [ regret it.
But it just has to be.
The majority of the people are
like an old mule in a burning
barn. They just take the studs
and stand there. You can't
move them till you get behinG
them with a fence-rail.
/" Now don't you see?
If nice, modest, sugar-coated
words would cause the people
to wake up and see the truth
then | would use that kind OF
words.
But that won't work.
Other people have tried it
and failed.
So the first thing I do is to
get me a fence-rail and just
frail hell out of 'em the first
lick.
That fetches 'em.
The fool-killer., 1921-12-01
Reduced Rates

Well, folkses, l have decided to
risk my chances on putting The Fool
Killer back to it's old price. Print
paper is still costing me twice as
much as it did before the war; but
the general trend of prices is down.
ward, and I want to give my readers
the benefit OF all possible reduction.
because know times are hard and
money scarce.
So please tell everybody you see
and send word to the rest that they
can now get Tho 1oo..-K;l1cr again at
the old price-25 cents for single
subscription. or 10 cents each in clubs
of Ave or more at one time.
, Now please rush in the subs like
YOU did in the old days, and I'll do
my level best to keep 'em awake.
The fool-killer., 1921-12-01

Well, dear sinner friends, this is
The Fool-Killer.
How does it set On your stomach?
If you like it you can get more at
headquarters.
The Fool-Ki1er is not even a forty
'ieventh cousin to any other paper on
earth.
1t stands in class by itself, and it's
field is as broad as the English
language.
This paper wears no bell, muzzle,
collar nor halter.
You can put that down to start with.
Tam the fellow who works at the
oump-handle on this rag of reform.
never travelled any to speak of,
but I have read great deal. and
have thunk some.
And then | started The Fool l-Killer,
lust to quiet my nerves and to keep
the old press from getting rusty.
From the seclusion of these wooded
hills there will go forth each month
a bundle of literary dynamite that
will shake the rotten foundations of
society aud cause the church Of
Mammon to at least turn over in its
sleep.
The Fool-KiIler is monthly mus
Gard plaster for the blood-boils of
Society, Church and State.
It is written with a red-hot poker
dipped in razor-soup.
It rides the devil a-straddle without
O. saddle, and spurs him at every lope.
1t is salted with wit, peppered with
numOr, and seasoned with sarcasm.
Every line cuts like whip, and
every word raises blister.
If you are fool you bad better not
subscribe for The Fool-Killer. IF you
are wise you will, and that settles it
JAMES LARKIN PEARSON
Boomer, N. c.
The fool-killer., 1921-12-01
THE CREASED PIGS.

You have heard about the
creased pig at the county fair,
but laWzy-massy, the CREASED
pig amt a circumstance COM
pared with the creased politi-
clans. They are so slick they
can hold you up and pick your
pockets and make you think
they are doing you a favor. They
can form a new military alliance
for war and make the dear pee
pul' believe it is the greatest
peace documents ever Matched.
Now here they come with
great flowery tale about a -four
power alliance" on the Pacific
questions, and We are supposed
to believe that such an alliance
between four plute governments
will settle the Pacific disputes
and bring eternal peace.
Jeeniny crickets! They must
think we are awful big boobs
to believe such a yarn as that.
Why, hang-take it, didn't they
have an alliance" back in 1914?
And what sort of fruit did it
bear? 1t just arrayed one part
of the world against the other
and caused the biggest war of
all time.
Well, honey, can't you see
that the same tree will bear the
same kind of fruit again? If
America, England, France and
Japan can join hands to defend
their plumber of the Pacific, why
can't the other nations join
hands against them and form an
! opposing alliance just as they
did in 1914?
That amt all, either, The
four-power agreement will last
| till one Of the four sees some
Ithing that it wants and makes
8 dive for it. Then the agree
ment will be mere "scrap of
paper"
All this plutocratic pretend
| ingsmakes me sick. Isn't there
some way to get rid of the
CREASED pigs and get MEN to
run our affairs?
The fool-killer., 1921-12-01
PARAGRAPHS.

The world is spiritually drunk
on the juice Of the devils old
lie. --
No sir. I ai61'r1 put the world
in this awful fix. I am just
telling you about it. Yes sir.
It seems that Lloyd-George
can make Ireland do just what
ever she wants to, Aw, go on!
Tom Watson calls a spade
spade. And when he sees a bull
jawed brute that's what he calls
him.
A League by some other name
will be the same League. Hop
to it, honey, and see how good
it stinks.
Free Ireland, did you say?
Just wait, honey-she amt free
from the pope yet. Free to
smell of his old hoof, that's all.
Just as / close the forms for
this issue it is announced from
Washington that Debs has been
turned loose. Well, it is time.
And then again, what if this
IS the Judgment Day? Maybe
you had better have your wit
nesses on hand, anyhow.
Problem: If triple alliance
failed to prevent the Great War,
what will a quadruple alliance
fail to prevent? Figger it out
for yourself.
Oh, come, now! COnSarn 1t,
| what are you mad about? Don't
you know every word | am say
ing is the truth? But maybe
that's what hurts. Well, grunt
ON, then.
All nations are in the dismal,
doleful dumps except Germany
-she is hard at work and whist
ling, and seems to be feeling fine
and dandy. Who in the thund-
er got whipped, anyhow? Huh :
They ought to have shaved
Foch's head before he went
home, so they could give every
member of the American Legion
one of his hairs to season thei1
/ soup with. Yum-yum!
| Gosh, Betsey. Excuse me-
is that cussing? [ hope not
Anyhow, ] need them words tt
|: express my ding-busted admira
tion for this-here double-back
action disarmament that we arr
not getting.
. If old man Woodpile Wilson
+ don't look out the Harding gan}
/ will steal all the weatherboard
: ing off his League Of Nations t.
upholster the gable ends of thei
newfangled what-not.
The fool-killer., 1921-12-01


while the peanut politicians try
to solve the worlds problems, re-
minds me of lion holding
mouse's coat while the mouse
tries to kill a bear.
Edison predicts that science
will soon be able to manufacture
gold as cheap as pig-iron.
Reckon what viii become OF ttIne
gold standard" then? Swap
it off for a ''pig-iron standard"
maybe.
"Pellagra is one of the most
important diseases we have in
the Southern States,' writes B.
E. Washburn in The Progress
sive Farmer. Now I wonder
what Pellagra is useful for?
If you don't find much poetry
in this issue, just remember
that my poetry mill is geared
to run slow, while my prose mill
is on high gear this time. Zip!
Zip! Look out!
The Literary Digest outlines
"A Plan to Give Each Man a Job
to Fit His Brain" Golly, what 8 n
idea! That would put most of
our great statesmen to cleaning
out hog-pens or mashing cab
bage worms.
Some of the men that the
world has called great men were
in fact very little men. And,
cn the other hand, some who
have been scorned and denounc-
ed as little men are indeed great
and noble. We cannot trust con-
temporary Judgment in such
matters.
| Senator Borah started the
thing, and by all means he
should have been one of the lead
ers in putting it through. But
they took it all out of his hands
and didn't even say thank you,
kiss-my-foot, nor anything else.
Talk about ingratitude There
is sample Of it.
Old Andy johnson was once
president of the Benited States,
but he didn't claim to be great
man, and he didn't have much
use for the so-called great men
either. In spite of his profanity
he uttered a great truth wher
he said: There's too damned
many great men in this country
that amt fit for nothing
That's about the way it is yet
= .--
If Jesus Christ had passed
through North Carolina two
weeks ago there wouldn't have
been half such a Topping o
, holy shirttails as there was whe1
the Marshall of France wen
through. The Prince of Peace
, is all right for the sky-pilot:
= to crate about in their gildet
The fool-killer., 1921-12-01

VAhN NOllCh
90 not send postage stamps ON sub
E2gfptfon.
Romittgncea should be made By
E3Ststered letter, express or postomce
aon0y order.
BE careful to write your own name
and address plainly, and direct all
ssAters and make all orders payable
Ml
THE FOCH-XI.LER,
Boomer, ---. North Carolina.
The fool-killer., 1921-12-01

If old man .Woodpile Wilson
don't look out the Harding gang
will steal all the weatherboard-
ing off his League of Nations to
upholster the gable ends Of their
neWfangled What-not.
The fool-killer., 1921-12-01

Entered ~ second-c1Ass matter
@&rch :. 1916. at the postonce ut
@aamer, N. G., under the act OF
&areh ., 1879.
The fool-killer., 1921-12-01

SUBSCRIPTION RATES:
Single sucs y. iou. ora year, 25 cts.
Et1 Clubs of Five or More, Is cts.
The fool-killer., 1921-12-01

Gosh, Betsey. Excuse me-
is that cussing? [ hope not.
Anyhow, I need them words to
express my ding-busted admira-
ton for this-here double-back-
action disarmament that we are
not getting.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1921-02-21
S28,OOO,OOO BRIDGE
OVER Detroit RIVER

|. DETROIT, Feb, 2l,-(U. P)--HIills
authorizing the erection Of an inter-
national bridge spanning the Detroit
river from this city TO Windsor, Ont.
will be introduced to congress and in
the Canadian parliament shortly. Sem
ator Charles Townsend OF Michigan is
expected to offer the bill in congress.
Word from the Canadian side OF the
river is that the bill win be introduced
in parliament Immediately
As planned, the bridge would cost
SIS. 100000 and would consist of two
decks. one for railway service and ono
for foot and vehicle traffic. The river
at this point is one mile wide and the
channel through which the large lake
steamers pass is about 30 feet deep. II
has not been decided whether the
bridge will be of the draw type or
built high enough to allow the steam
ers TO pass below.
The present bridge plan was sug-
gested early last Summer and the ex-
pense of construction will be met hy
large business interests on both sides
OF the river. The bridge will be oper-
ater by the two cities. The only
means Of crossing the-river now Is by
ferries operated by u private com
/ pany
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1921-02-21

potentate. with his entire court. re-
moved to another town than Joktok-
arta, and the father consented, rather
than cause trouble.
While Bolshevik agitators In the
East Indies have had much success In
many sections OF Java and Sumartra.
they have had very little influence In
Jokjokara and tho new Sultan Is ex-
rected to maintain this situation.
1he sultan of JokJoklirta Is vas
sal OF tho Dutch and has his head
quarters at Jokjokaita, on the SOUTH
orn side OF the island OF Java. Jok-
iokarta has population Of about 6a,-
900. The Sultans water palace or.
citadel is described as the chief feature
Of the city. II covers an area OF about
ono square mile and is small town
hy itself with separate buildings for
the occupancy of the women of tho
sultan's court and for workmen.
The sultan divides his authority to
certain extent with quasi-indepen-
dent prince, Paku Alam
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1921-02-21
ALittle Story of Washington

IA URfSG the Revolutionary War
H e Washington and his troops were
stationed near the City Of Phila-
~ delphia. In that city there was
at the time young English boy, who
had come TO America TO study medi-
cine under the guidance of the noted
DR.. Rush. Now. although this lad
was accepting the hospitality Of the
Americans his heart was true to his
native land and he took no pains 20
hide his lack of sympathy with the
Colonists' cause. One day the lad
and several of his fellow students
heard that the United States Army
then ON the outskirts of the city, was
preparing TO build a barrlcade along
the banks Of the Delaware River. to
prevent a sudden water attack from
the British, and an appeal had been
issued asking the aid of all men In
this stupendous task.
Let US go out to observe the frolic,"
remarked the English lad, scoffing ut
the efforts of the brave Americans;
and so they tramped out into the coun-
try. where the building was in opera
ton. There were the old men and
The young boys. who were no; able 10
fight for their country. busily engaged
in piling stone upon slone and log
upon log in an attempt TO build wall
along the Delaware River front. The
English boy and his companions seat
ed themselves upon a fenco and pro-
ceeded to look on white the others
worked.
A noble looking man. who had been
working in his shirt sleeves--now d.
recting. now helping the other work.
ers, approached the group upon the
fence and addressed the boys; "Why
don't you fellows lend a hand in this
work. come and put your shoulder to
the fence he said.
Il am an Engllshman," answered
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1921-02-21
SCHOOL CRISIS STILL
ACUTE SAYS CLAYTON


WASHINGTON, Fen. 2t.-tu. P)---i
Public school teachers of the Uniteu
States should receive at least $l,SoV,-
900 900 In salaries this year, r. T.
CIaxton. commissioner Of educauon'
saia here today. Last year teachers
Drew a total of approximately SIoO,-
600 900.
'This is equal to half what Is spent
annually for cigarettes" said ClaNton'
Salaries of elementary school teach
nrs now are about 80 per cent hsnsT
han four years ago, according 70 SlaA'
TONS reports, showing that the cam
paign to get them more pay has been
partially successful High schooI
principals now are paid an average OF
is per cent more than before the war
the records show.
Wage cutting throughout the couh'
try and unemployment are factors
which are contributing some benent
to the educational system. u
MANY teachers who LETT the schools
to gain higher wages in industry now
are beginning o drift back said Elax-
ton. LAS rule however, such persons
are not the type of individual whose
efforts are most beneficial TO the edu-
cational system1 Persons who SKIP
from one profession to another Tor
slight increases in compensation make
only fair teachers.
THE crisis of the education system
Is far from over. Good teachers still
are nearly as scarce as during the war.
Few persons are training for teaching
work because Of the low salaries still
| paid. In some schools elemontarS
grade teachers now are receiving only
! $500 a year. a good stenographer
now can earn twice this amount.
Formerly the teaching profession
attracted the best element OF the pop
ulatlon. Men and women of the finest
! culture and education were attracted
to it, The men often went into Il TO
earn money TO train themselves for
other work In the professions and pub
lie life. President-elect Harding was
one Of these. Thus for Il short time.
At least, the nation obtained the sery-
ices of men and women who later in
life went into the professions like
medicine and the law and into public
life. g.,
When the war came on and salaries
and wages in most other professions
were boosted it became impossible
for the men and women to go into
teaching to earn money while training
themselves for larger positions Their
training cost them more and they had
TO go into industrial positions to earn
The additional money needed.
This is condition that never viii
return. The schools from now on must
pay salaries sufficient to attract peo-
pie who will make teaching their life
work. fftt(
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1921-02-21
KITES

- PRlNG will soon be coming. and
- with its advent out will come the
- Tops and the jumping ropes and
~ the kites. Did you ever wonder
as you watched your kite fly up in
the air who invented this pleasant
Dastime? Kite flying does not appear
to have been known in England more
than two hundred and twenty-five
years. In China. however. Il is Of
much more ancient date; there it is
faverite outdoor game. and one Of the
Chinese holidays is especially devoted
to kite flying The Chinese kites. too.
are most curiously constructed, and by
means of roAnd holes supplied with
vibrating cords. their kites are made
to produce a'hGmml3g n0.s9 like that
of a top. Chinese kHes are made in
many different shapes. some look like
birds. others are in the shape OF fish.
some resemble the human form. but
the common shape that we all know
is for many reasons the best that can
be adopted.
The Hlustrtous Sir Isaac New,on
when q boy at GTantham introduced
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1921-02-21

be sure the grain runs IN the proper
direction. THIS is indicated on the as
senlbled drawing. Cut these parts
with coping saw and sandpaper
edges to line.
Now make the feeding pan by bor-
Ing hole in pisce OF wood and then
saving II round or Use the eov<r of a
small pill boz. FasteAathe pan to A
with small screw or tack.
Bore all hol-s with a brad awI or
II you do no, have one make SUBJ
aitute by driving a brad or fine fin
ishing nail in the end of stics. File
OF the h ad and then file the nail like
drill point so it will bore through
The wood without cracking it,
Assemble The hen with bank pins or
large common pins. The points are to
he cut and the ends turned By the use
OF pliers. But Il would be well not 70
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1921-02-21

the boy. "and am proud to say my
hands have never been solled by do
ing work aimed against my native
land"
THAT is poor gratitude for the hoss
pitality extended towards you in your
present home," answered the man. ~
am proud to soil my hands with any
work that I know to be In a good and
a right cause" and he turned back to
his work, while the English lad.
ashamed, jumped from the fence and
hurried down the road to the city.
The rebuke had como from no less
person than General washington.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1921-02-21
AGED SULTAN ABD|CATES
IN FAVOR OF HIS son

THE HAGUE. Feb. 2l.--The aged
Sultan of Tokjokarta, one of the two
powerful and wealthy potenates Of the
Dutch East Indies, has decided 10
abdicate in favor of his eldest son, the
Crown Prince OF Jokjokarta, who has
been trained in European ways.
The Crown Prince has spent months
at the court of Queen Wilhelmina and
Dutch officials look forward to his rule
ever the Mohammedan natives with
much favor. na
Before leaving for the indies. few
weeks ago, the young man informed
his father that he would not take the
sultan's throne unless the abdicating
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1921-02-21

turn The ends til after the parts have
been painted However the toy should
be assembled and tried out before
painting.
Loop a rdbber band through the
hole in the body of the hen and then
thread 1t Though the hole in A. II
can be held IN place either by knot
ting. driving pin into a. through me
loop in the band and the hole, or BY
inserting section OF a match stick
through the manu- beneath part A.
Tie piece Of string to the body and
thread ii through the base a IS in
dlcate1. To operate place the toy on
the table, hold down with one hand
and pull the string with the other.
Leaders which are the fine lines with
only half an arrow head Indicate the
colors for painting.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1921-02-21

entire nation. It is reflected In all
classes, for all we're In the war.
Behind the bright eyes that invite
you so appeallngly on the boulevards
often thfobs broken heart OF a.
youthful widow or flancee who lost
her lover out there. A surprising
number of the merrymakers in the
really Latin rendezvous of Montmars
tire wear mourning on their coatsleeves.
Thus Paris could not even il she
would, be the old care-freo effusive
city of pre-war days-not for a gem
GRAFTON, at. least.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1921-02-21

~ HE Little red hen or the feeding
~ ehieken as the boys call this TOY
Va Is fine one to make for the little
NzD folks.
i'art A or the base may be made
hrs;- Plane up The top piece. perfect
ly square and on the center line bore
holes8for the string and rubber band
Make tbe four little feet and fasfen
70 the 2 In. 6 in. piece A with glue
and brads- Plane a piece long enough
for all four feet and then cut to
iearih
Make pas c and fas'en to a with
brads or pins as indicated on the draw
ing. Nexi lay out patterns for parts
= and L. Use the square method.
acting carefully where holes are 10
be bored for the pins string and rub
Der baue II cigar box iurber is used
select A good piece for the legs D and
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1921-02-21

The steamer Lucrio del Abba. with II
passengers and a crew OF eight, was
wrecked in storm yesterday at the
entrance Of the Bay Of Vera Cruz. One
person was. drowned ana the others
were rescued with difficulty, according
to reports.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1921-02-21

INTO the grammar school there. the
dying Of paper kites, and took grea
pains TO ascertain their best forms
and proportions. and the point al
which fhe string should be attached
10 Them. He made also paper lan-
terms FOR candles. BY the light Of which
he went 10 school in the winter morn
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1921-02-21

There are many Interesting things
about kites. things Of which you would
never cream when you send your pa
per kite Tying high in the carry spring
brcszss. The power Of flying kite
is very great; 1t has been made to sus-
tain a body in water, and even to draw
carriage upon comthon roads.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1921-02-21

'ngi and he frequently attached these
.nierns 10 the tails OF kites in dark
Hight, 50 as TO lead credulous peopie
70 believe his candles 10 be comets.
You all know o DIV our own BenJa-
min Franklin detected electricity In
the air BY meanS Of long tailed kite
to which had been attached key.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1921-02-21
a Modern G.. w.

WY EVE got row Of cherry
Wy trees.
And you can bet I'd catch il
II I went ou. end cut one down,
Or hacked it with my hatcheL
No matter if | told The truth.
Or how Id Try to patch it.
Ny dad would never stand STUNT
Like that one with the hatchet.
He'd yelli gu bad. outrageous boyl
That tree-you couldn't match i'll
Why did | ever buy you such
A weapon as hatche."
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1921-02-21

What, Gu. a precious cherry tree.
Or even think to scratch iti
My dad has taught me better use
For pOeket-knife and hatchel.
Now little George Washington !
(WhO cOuldn'twell detach it),
Got caught because the cherry tree
Was holding fast Iis kzllleL
And when his dady came along.
He tried and tried to snatch it,
But eouldn't-so he told the truth
About his little hatchet.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1921-02-21
New Offensive Against Greeks

LONDON. Feb. 21.-(U. P.l-The
turkish nationalists reported the con-
centrating in great strength along the
smyrna front for a new offensive
against the Greeks, says constantin-
ople
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1921-02-21
TRANSCONT|NENTAL MAIL
SERVICE TRIAL FLIGHTS

OMAHA. Feb. 2l.--(A. P.)-Trial
night flights In the transcontinental
man service between New York and
san Francisco are to be started next
Tuesday morning. air mail officers an
lounced last night
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1921-02-21
nrrrER REMAINs STEADY.

PORTLAND. Feb. 2ii--tA. Pl-
Cattle steady. hogs firm. prime light
si1G11.35. extreme top Sit.50. Sheep
weak. Eggs unsettled butter steady.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1921-02-21
MoNTANA CTTMItIRs pERIsH

VIENNA, Feb. Eliza. P.l-Four
men and three women who were climbs
ing the wachstein glacier have perish
ed.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1921-02-21

Shooting fast and concentration has
made Ralph Greenleaf the worlds
pocket billiard champion.
'@The faster | shoot the better runs
I make" says Greenleaf,
Greenleaf. who is 2l, has been
shooting pocket Billiards since he was
nine Two years ago he won the
championship.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1921-02-21

PASSENGER STEAMER WRECKED
MEXICO CITY, Feb. 2l.--(A. p. -