davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1921-07-29
A FUNNY STORY.

Moo moo" said Mrs. Cow, 81 have
lunny story to tell" And Mrs. Cow
smiled very funny COW smils.
Her big eyes looked at some of the
other cows and she said:
Gather around me, Cows, and lis
ten to my funny story"
SO very slowly the cows got I'D and
came over by Mrs. Cow, and listened
TO the story she had to tell.
you know" said Mrs. Cow, I'VE
give milk to the city people. Yes, the
mix that we give is given to the city
people
i don't know that l should actually
Use the word given for I don't be-
ieve the milk is given away.
But we give the milk away, and
then the milk is sold to the city PEG
pie.
"Of course we shouldn't expect to
be paid for the milk we give, as we
are given board and lodging (Which is
very apt to be out-of-door lodging)
in return for the milk we give.
Il am not complaining when I speak
OF the Out-ofdoOr lodging, for we usu-
ally like that kind best.
And we are given excellent board
and lovely meadow for our home.
Nov, there are number of US on
different big farms who give this milk
IN return for board and lodging. Then
The milk is sent to the city and the
lily people have it left in bottles by
their doors In the morning.
But the joke is that the milk com
.'any which sells our milk to the city
people, tells all the city pee
pie that they are keeping tab OF,
Or looking after, 10000 cows.
THAT in itself isn't the joke. A
Joke should always come at the end
Of funny story, or else it isn't q
very funny story.
mo one wants their jokes in the
middle of story, Or I've never heard
Of anyone who did.
But l am coming to the end of my
story, and I am coming to the joke.
1.-THE Joke Is that even in the city
hey like to hear about cows, Isn't
that joke on them? They like to
know that their milk comes from fine
healthy cows who eat right and who
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1921-07-29

money and control OF my properly.
"Wbat do l care for the unthinking
world?"
nBut, Alphonse, will marry you"
my own dar-"
"And I will not have people say I'M
kind things about you, so l have ar
ranged TO give my fortune to the mis-
sonaries. Why, Alphonse, where are
you going?"
Alphonse paused long enough on his
usv TO the door to look back and NUT
tor. "rm going to be missionary"
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1921-07-29

are well looked after, and who are
watched over by excellent farmers anC
inspectors and by COW doctors who see
that we live in healthful surroundings
"They like to know all this, anc
so the milk company tells the people
all this.
But they tell them by writing it il
notices or advertisements in the news
papers.
Il do think it is "a funny joke tc
think that men and women who are
away from the country and who rath-
er think they're very much superior
to cows have come to the conclusion
that it Is interesting to read in the
evening paper about the 10000 cows
and how they are being looked after
mot only do they read about soci
ETY. In the city papers, and not only
do they read about the money which
can be made or lost as the case may
be, but they read about cows, good,
everyday cows. That's a Joke on
them! They thought they could leave
cows alone and have their city life
without q thought Of cows, but they
found they wanted our milk in the
first place, for the city people drink
a lot of milk.
"And now they're anxious to hear
about US, very anxious to hear about
US.
They can't get away from the coun-
try and the cows. Ha, ha, ha !"
81 heard Of some beekeepers who
went TO a school which taught all
about beekeeping," said Miss Cow.
1T shows that people aren't 80 su-
perior to animals and little creatures
after all. They must ask us for help,
and they must learn about our ways"
I'D hardly call cows little crea'
ures," said Mrs. Cow. MOO, moo,
ID hardly do that"
A., Il was speaking Of us as animals,
nd of the bees as little creatures,
moo. moo" said Miss Cow.
II see, moo, moo, l see" said Mrs
,Ow.
You have big enough eyes to see
18th, too" said Miss Cow. grinning
low, cOwlike grin.
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1921-07-29

the treeS or seriously hampering the
temporary crop. Tomatoes and other
truck crops may also be grown in the
orchard. These are sometimes classed
as "catch crops''-erops planted for a
quick growth.
Where such catch crops are planted
1t is well first to make hasty survey
Of the operations of other farmers In
the vicinity and of the available mar
ket. since often where similar condi-
lions prevail throughout an entire To-
cality there IS a tendency for many
farmers to enter on a certain line OF
temporary agriculture, with the re-
suit that the supply far exceeds the
local demand. A little foresight may
prevent disappointment.
These rows between the trees are
somewhat more difficult to cultivate
than In the open field, and may re-
ouire considerable handwork, but In
many cases the crops which are plant
ed yield comfortable profit
The intercropping Of young orchards
has an additional purpose besides the
mere direct financial gall. II fur-
nishes an incentive to keep the or
chard cultivated. and as rule this
is highly desirable fror' the stand
point of the trees.
An Off year furnishes Il good time 70
mt the orchard Sn order by close prun-
ing, such as the 'orchardist could NOT
easily afford If 1T meant reduction In
bearing surface
Profit may sometimes be found In
sowed crop. Buckwheat Is often
good thing when sowed among young
trees. The buckwheat may not pay
10 harvest for grain, but II moved De
fore fully mature 1t makes a gooo
mulch. or II permitted to mature
enough grain may be obtained 10 III"
.ar,aIlv cut down the expenditure TOT
,oultry feed. Buckwheat can
own in June or even In July ana sun
make a satisfactory growth. slelc
,eas, cowpeas and various othef efops
hat make good forage can De use
s occasion suggests, and the sou De
thereby. 80,
The fruit grower should realize ina,
IS the abuse rather than the use Vi
systems that may re
ult adversely to the trees. And again
n interplanted crop which IS 10 ps 4.
arrested and not used entirely loi
oil Improvement should be looKeS !
pom as q means of reducing tne ga
,nse of maintaining the trees RAIN
than a crop VIII reSen's wv
to cash inconic-
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1921-07-29
American Locomotives Overseas.

The export of steam locomotives
from the United States has increased
nearly 100 per cent since 1913, from
491 in number, valued at S4,475, 400 in
1913, the last pre-war year, to 959,
valued at S30275, TBS in 1919, the first
peace year. In 1920 the number ex-
ported was LII in number with a
value of $50, ,S47.
OF last years exports 721 locomo-
tives were sold to European countries,
mostly to Belgium, Poland, France and
Italy. Outside of Europe our best
customers were Cuba, Brazil, China
and British Africa
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1921-07-29
FARM Frs
ARE WORKING HARDER

And using their feet more than ever before.
For all these workers the frequent use of
Aliens Foot=Eas0, the antiseptic, healing
powder to be shaken into the shoes and
sprinkled in the foot-bath, increases their
efficiency and insures needed physical COM
fort. Aliens Foot=Ease takes the Friction
from the Shoe, keeps the shoe from rub
bling and the stockings from wearing, fresh
ems the feet, and prevents tired, aching
and blistered feet. Women everywhere are
constant users of Aliens Foot=Ease Don't
get foot sore, get Aliens Foot=Ease.
More than One Million five hundred
thousand pounds of Powder for the Feet
were used by our Army and Navy during
the war Sold everywhere.
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1921-07-29

Uncle Alec Wilson was Jogging
slowly into town behind old Susie.
Susie isn't geared to do more than
four miles an hour. Anything more
than that makes her sweat under the
breast-band. Uncle Alec noticed g
sign along the road which said: city
Limits. Speed Is Miles Per Hour"
"They can make their fool laws d
they want to-" exclaimed Alec, ''bU
so fer as I'm concerned 1 pay no at
tention to that Why, old Susie could
never make that speed, and I'll be
burned if 1 try to urge her to, even
if tn law does require it."-Hay Rake
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1921-07-29
levied on Skunk fo. Eur

90 o-aO OS' amusing and unexpected bit
Of Nv .eice as to the resourcefulness
Co,' wa animals was sees by a Fort
stnnI- Coio, man who has a pet
Tb o--A ana squirrel cagyd together.
vbo o ' w ANIMALS are firm friends, bu!
hrms s 'ne squirrel wanted material to
s Uumu nest it proceeded to chew
t t1oa ,s' lur off the skunk's back. Now
bIs ,"Aocent skunk has hald spot as
. 20 ~ ID saucer, and the squirrel has
skunk fur. Ut ieas'' Vi
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1921-07-29
nsoster Hatched Out E,r,iIv

Pant. le poultry yard OF a Pennsyl-
4 - oa. man is a bantam rooster which
batch s Tor four little chicks It
waotS 'out recently. About eight
,rs ss0 the family missed the crow
,l1 N u ne bantam rooster, which usu-
-. =. began at a. m. and continued
tho - - or more. 1t was found Sit
Al 60, w. 'ls nest, clucking like a hen.
allsa = 70 make him leave the nest
tons =. Seven eggs were put under him.
w" Oh which hatched.
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1921-07-29
Alas. for Example.

Father hear, my boy, that you
have lately told your mother several
faIsehoods. This grieyes me to the
heart. Always tell the truth. even
though II may bring suffering upon
YOU You will promise. me?
Boy-Yes, father.
Father-Yery well. Now go und
sea who is knocking at the door II
rs the landlord say I'm not at h"mA
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1921-07-29
Expression Was Originally Jobs.

1t is long way to GO 70 the days of
Job for a modern" expressionl The
phrase, Escaping by tile skin of the
teeth" may be found in the Goth verse
of the 10Th chapter of the Book of
Job: my bone cleaveth to my skin
and to my flesh. and am escaped with
the skin of my teeth"
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1921-07-29
. mother oinessur Discovered

,,. a"atiier dinosaur has been discov
Of q, = Anerta- This later find" is
eordu. ealirely new species, and, ac-
st ~ - ~ Dr' W. A. Parkes, profess
sxonto - at the University of
81, Az u IS the only one of its kind
les Answered o'@red. The bones of this
ot ysa nOsaur' extinct many thousands
party Wig, as"' We're discovered by a
Prcf p @",en explored Alberta under
- rarkes' distractions =,
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1921-07-29
. n rs His Own Birth

Coming ester 81 his own birth. after be-
|euce Of "sc was the unique expert
Feader So young man In Quebec !. A.
applied ~. that when the young man
earneS ,s tor a birth eertiffcate he
Stored him. MS parents had never reg
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1921-07-29
Detroit Has First Air Course.

The University of Detroit is the
first educational institution in the
United States to establish a regular
course in aeronautics.
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1921-07-29
Hunters Lucky sbo.

4 Manlton"" was shot While up tree by
Vas rlslnn n' oy a huge hawk and as II
Bot both q, with WI its prey the hunte,
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1921-07-29

A great many orators mix the oil Of
eloQuence with the water of weak argu-
mentS.
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1921-07-29

1t is better to remain ignorant THAI
to acquire e knswledgs Of things ysr
shouldn't know.
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1921-07-29

~ -
precious?" asked
Alphonse.
Indirectly, yes.
l have been think
ing that if you
married me, every
body would say
you only did so in
order to get my
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1921-07-29
The Snx.

Army Worm-"Why are you follow
ing that MANI" Cut Worm-"He has
a seed catalogue under his arm.-Life.
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1921-07-29

The shapely hand that displays an
engagement ring never forgets its Gun
ming.
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1921-07-29

Jud TunIlins says the real test Of q
mans character is not so much In the
amount of reading he can do as ths
kind of reading he loses interest In
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1921-07-29
Tho Barter Returns

Doctor-What will It cost me Il
have my portrait painted?
Artist-Twenty-tw prescriptions
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1921-07-29

The longer man stnsfes wsmeI
the less he knows sbsut theTa.
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1921-07-29

Alumni Of the school Of experience
have been known to take postgraduate
courses.
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1921-07-29

A woman never likes her husband te
be chummy with a bachelor.
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1921-07-29

Eugenics seems a plausible theory
to anybody who is not in love.
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1921-07-29

Money of the self-made person is APP
to talk regardless Of grammar.
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1921-07-29
- The ---<
Scrap Book
The =
a puoNSE WAS ON HIS WAY
~. circumstances He Naturally
FeIt the Call to Duty Was
Imperative.

n,nbonse." said the heiress, Il
IL boon seriously thinking"
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1921-07-29

Smashing.
Yes, he's baggage man now"
Doing well?"
Doing a smashing business"
Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1921-07-29


:. 7
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fd South
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|Duisians
| which
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IS near.
ftle was
|Dte sec.
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e trans.
| Of ter.
|Ower Of
States
pm this
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r Man.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1921-08-01
REIGN OF BUSINESS.

II Is the fashion OF some snobbsh minds look
with certain contempt
They regret that humanity has fallen and become sordd
The good old days gone when the king and the mobiles prem
I'd about and the ruling class above such low aim max
ing money.
The business is eycrybodys goat The socasc writer
abuses him. the cssay holds him and his chemngs responsible
for all social Ills the class fanatic hates him particularly and
all the envy OF the world drawn upon his devoted head
the fact that the whole world has gone into business
And instead OF being lapse sign OF the worlds progress
The age OF business follows logically upon The age Of
Modern industry simply applied science.
1t that knowledge is power, Bacon said and what
hc meant not knowledge OF lot OF things but knowledge
Of HOW TO DO THINGS
Under science the world has turned from vain speculation
active accomplishment.
The days past when rank and privilege awed mankind
the great must make good.
The condition OF the common OF men has improved
in the last century than IN any ten centuries preceding.
The hundred million Of the United States have advanced
in personal comfort education and liberty than any people
any comparable time in history and simply because they have
all been in business
Europe and the orient have been held down by the dead
weight OF tradition and bv the incubus Of idle nobility
misunderstanding military class.
Freed OF this burden America has leaped forward in three
generations to the leadership OF the world he Nations OF the
Old World said Andrew Carnegie Creep snal pace
the republic rushes forward with the speed Of express
train"
is because business cooperating with scientists
gnees and workers. have laid hold Of energies
ture, and have made them work for
While the older nations have been conqueng each other
America has been conquering nature
The modern factory the railway telegraph telephone
ship tractor automobile mine and all other machinery of pro-
ducon and transportation the children OF Father Business
and Mother Science.
this modern growth has been accomplished by the down
fall of euda institutions and ancient frauds that made
slaves and others nolerabe tyrants
The reign of the business has mancpated the ndivid
al from the bonds of class and custom has freed black
and has given state ruled by whom bad
may be- we chose ourselves and who osed upon
hocus-pocus.
Democracy indeed what it but nation of business people,
guided by science and basng all peedeces upon service
than upon ghostly fiction?
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1921-08-01
EUROPE'S STANDING ARMIES.

Despite the virtual disarmament OF Germany and Austria
appears that the number OF troops under in Continental Eu
rope at this approaches the enrolled in the stand
Immediately before outbreak the war
9l4 In number be greater exact figures
not obanable in the of Russia and the
Europe
The highest pre-war peace strength Of armies
countries Including RUSSIA approximately 100000
recent estimate of the British office put the postwar mill
tay establishments at total Of 3334000 men, exclusive of the
army oil Soviet Russia. Oseng the former German and Aus
trian armies there Polish which few weeks ago CON
tanned 100000 Greek army 250OOO as against
establishment of 25000 whereas before the war
Serbia had only $1,000 The French is 100000
larger than 1914 The Czecho- -Sovak seems
be maintaining considerable for its size the number OF
soldiers recently being put 4000 The newly created states
on the Russian border Estfonia thuna and ava recent
storm cnters probably still have forces The present
Greek advances and the related Balkan doubtless have
stimulated the military there the precise of which gov
ernments are not desirous Of revealing
Europe suffering from PARALYSIS One Of
the cfet the fact that wears millions of men
were taken from productive pursuits put an activity that
supracted from the wealth Of the world Armies have hs
double cost industrial loss man power and greatly in
creased governmental expenditure Europe plainly cannot afford
70 MAINTAIN the present military estabsmenNew York
-0-
Germany calm, but vet coleced-C Columbia e y
High taxes the tacks the to normacvAshevle
Times.
An upph class sometimes mistakes itself for an upper class
-Greenvle Is. c. Piedmont
Do we need more protection for industry or simply more in
dustry Arkansas Gazette "
Continued striking well calculated put the dust in in
dustry- lolumbia Is. c. Record
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1921-08-01
Do You Sleep Well?

When you are nervous, restless
and unable to sleep we'll at night,
eat no meat for supper and drink
no tea of coffee for a few days.
Take one of Chamberlain's Tablets
as soon as you have finished your
suvper. Do this and if there is moth
ing worrying you. you should be
all right in few days. You are
likely to feel much better however
if you walk about three of four
miles each day if able. Get up
promptly at six o'clock in the morn.
ing and go to bed at ten. Lazy
habits and coffee are common causes
Of sleeplessness.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1921-08-01
RESULTS YESTERDAY.

Western League.
chickasha 8. Henryetta o.
Springfield .; okmuIgee o.
Fort Smith o.; Pawhuska ?.
Dmmrlgit g; Fad I.
Western League.
Oklahoma Clly &c; Sc Joseph
OF.
Wichita "a: Dea Molncs 3.s.
Omaha O.i0. Tulsa a.
Sioux city 81; Joplin 80.
American League.
New. York 70: Cleveland 2.
Washington .; Detpsit 5.
No other games scheduled.
National League.
Cincinnati %; New York SO:
first game ~ innings: second
game n innlngs4
Philadelphia 10; Chicago ?.
st Louis I. Brooklyn ..
GAMES TODAY.
Western Association.
Okmnlgee at Springfield.
Fort Smith pawinska.
Dumright at Enid.
Chlckasha NJ ll,nryetta.
Western League.
Aklahoma city at ST. Joseph.
Wichita at Des Moines
Tulsa at Omaha.
Joplin at Sioux city.
National League.
Brooklyn at st. Louis.
New York at Cincinnati.
Philadelphia at Chicago.
Boston al Pittsburgh.
Boston at Pittsburgh.
American League.
81. Louis at Boston.
Chicago at Washington.
Cleveland at New York.
Detroit at Philadelphia.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1921-08-01
H 0 N E B R E W
BY TEN
/Pinch.lllnIpg for
PhlLL-UPS

a grand Jury inyeailgaiIop Of the
Norman. Chlckaeha Rotary game at
Norman last Fridnf might result IN
the return OF some indictments and
charges OF murder There is no
denying the fact that the whole NJ.
fair was a slaughter with the Chick
.asha club playing the part Of the
Goat.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1921-08-01

Catcher Miner Of the Chicks is
qualifying az a ball player of parts.
Since the going Of the homellngs has
been rougl. account their crippled
condition. Miner has played the OUT
field. shortstop and wound up the
last game OF the recent home stay
BY going into the box and stopping
the onslaughter of the Pawmska
crew. after Hulswitt's men had
driven three hurlers to cover.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1921-08-01

When you feel lazy. out OF sorts
and yawn good deal in the day
time, you need Herbine to stimu-
late your liver, tone up your stomach
and purify your bowels. Price, Coo.
Sold by Wren Drug Co.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1921-08-01
Those Awful Rates.

Says an exchange: A Detroit
man who twenty-eight years ago
borrowed 50 to get clean shirt is
now worth $5,0O0,OOO. Probably he
laundered it himself ever since and
saved that amount.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1921-08-01
EXPRESS PAckAoETrEs

It'a the bumps jolis you get,
And the shocks that your courage
stands.
That test your metile and prove your
Worth;
II isn't the blows you deal,
but the blows YOU take on this good
earth
That shows II your stuff IS real -
"Tennwork."
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1921-08-01

Drap Hayes, Chick pilot. has
had an exceptionally hard time keep
ing the work of the local club afloat
recently. He has collected enough
trouble to drive an ordinary man to
a padded cell Two of the regulars
have been out of the game for many
days. Pitchers have played the in
field and outer garden. Utility play
ers have been pulled in from semi
pro ranks and a couple of the regu-
lar hurlers have been going bad
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1921-08-01

when this worlds account Is sum
med up. we shall find that we owe
more to grief than we do 10 Joy
and that sorrow has been the yeIls !
angel come to teach us some Of the
deepest lessons
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1921-08-01

ooks like the Rotarian hall play
ers took on too large a contract
when they tackled Norman. Next
time they should "cross bats" with
Agnwam.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1921-08-01
A STOLEN SMILE FER TWO :
Times are Different.

Forty years ago could have
bought the site of that office building
for jug of whisky
with a jug Of real whisky think
you could make a favorable deal
now
With Something to Show For 1t.
Going away this summer, old
man?'
mo; my wife has decided that
she can get all tired out more COM
Portable by staying at home