davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Sioux County pioneer. (Fort Yates, Sioux County, N.D.) 1914-1929, 1921-01-27
Select Assoelatea carefuIIx.

You can catch the right kind Of hab-
Its by. associating with people who
lihve them. Pick Industrious, cheerful
people for your friends. people who
mean to succeed and know how to do
It. You can expose yourself to all
their working habits With profit. And
II you get infected with them, 1t will
make big difference in the ease with
which you reach the goal you have set
for yourself.-John Blake, In Chicago
Daily News. {Sa
Sioux County pioneer. (Fort Yates, Sioux County, N.D.) 1914-1929, 1921-01-27
CHAPTER Viii Continued.

.ssWhere's mummy" she demanded,
and again came q sharper .Where's
my mother7" Roughly : showing her
nside. uriah walked across the boat
/ deck. his sunken eyes fixed on Mac
4 Cauley.;
y '.sWhat you mussin' about my boat
FOR. mister:' he demanded aAnd
what happened to tEat young Teller
crawlin' to the beach tliere?'
81 slung him In the lake, said
Philip sferce1y. 'The pup was-was--''
he made gestufe toward Tony as
Devon's interruption belched forth
Was It any Of your business what
happened To- my girl q 9
Ufiah took another step toward the
young captain. /. N Il - +
That's your canoe, amt II, roped to
my dock r he demanded Hereby.
swell. hop In and get away if you
3 don't want q broken SKULL" IS
Philip sent a flashing glance to the
silent, white girl. There was such ter
ror marked on her face that his teeth
Came together tensely.
He can't 80 tfll my mother comes 2
! she broke out abruptly. II won't stay
Il he don't" Il 81 81 l. .s.,3 {
Uriah's hand went back to his hin.
= guess he'll go Il Itell I'm to, . said
ne. Just hop into yllrs boat. kid,
before ! fill you mp to yonr teeth with
little bits Of hot LEAD. =" sSss
Tonnibel had witnessed scenes like
sthfs before. She knew but 4 tiny pres
sure Of, her fathers finger on the gun
he held wouli kill her sweetheart.
Go along. she managed to. get out
between her cAattering teeth. .'Itll be
worse for both Of us IL yor don'tl"
Devon was forcing Philip backward
toward the end of the dock. easd by
this ume Reginald had crawled 10 the
shore and had lain down upon II.
Don't hg. mister. cried Tony to
Philip. Go along 70 Ithaca
MacCausey steppsd into his canoe.
and Devon suilenly unfastened the
rope and threw Il into the bow st the
Don't come back here if you don't
want g taste Of this" he snapped,
touching his gun. ''let out and stay
cut, mister = .ss b !.
s With the end Of the revolver he
gave the canoe ! shove, and Tony saw
the paddle dip into the water and the
boy move away. :A NJ
s Irish stood moment and looked.
On to, the lhlllG Then locking Tony
Sioux County pioneer. (Fort Yates, Sioux County, N.D.) 1914-1929, 1921-01-27
Here Comes,
. The: Bride!''

Everybody wishes her
] ! ] ! !. ]
well! Happy and G
radiant she starts out Am
on life's adventure. .vN|h
She should have ;sHI
health to begin with. H1VR
Good looks in woman NX
do not depend upon M \WM
age, but upon health. N whit
You never see a good MN
looking woman who XVI
is weak, rum down,
irritable, out Of sorts, fidgety and
nervous. Headaches, backaches,
dragging-down pains, irregular
tiles and troubles Of that sort. are
all destroyers of beauty. MeDdo
not admire sickness.
It is within the reach Of every
woman to be well, healthy and
strong if she will take DR.. Pierce's
Favorite Prescription. II is the
safest woman's tonic because it is
made entirely Of roots and herbs,
without alcohol Ingredients on
LABEL Il is so years old, and its
age testi6es to its goodness. A
medicine.that has made sick wo-
men we'll for half q century is.
surely good to take; Women
from every part Of America tes-
tify to it's merits. .s. s
Send 1oc to, DR.. Pietces In:
valids' Hotel in Buffalo, n. Pa
for 9 trial package and confiden-
tial medical advice, or booklet.
Sioux County pioneer. (Fort Yates, Sioux County, N.D.) 1914-1929, 1921-01-27
Know. Hi. Habits.

IF a man were murdered and hid
den in his liquor cellar nobody would
know where to look for him."
"Some men might be disposed OF
that way, but I'm not one of them,"
said Mr.. BIBLES. "If I were missing
for any length Of time that would be
the first place Mrs. BIBLES would
look for me.-Birmingham Age-Her-.
aid.
Sioux County pioneer. (Fort Yates, Sioux County, N.D.) 1914-1929, 1921-01-27
To Have a Clear Sweet Skin

To Have a Clear Sweet Skin :
Touch pimples, redness, roughness
or itching, II any, with Cuticura Oint.
ment. then battle with Cuticura Soap
and hot water. Rinse, dry gently and
dust on a little Cuticura Talcum to
leave fascinating fragrance on skin.
Everywhere 25c each.-Adv.
Sioux County pioneer. (Fort Yates, Sioux County, N.D.) 1914-1929, 1921-01-27

shavinI according to one doctor, In
creases neuralgia ana other troubles
of the face. -
Sioux County pioneer. (Fort Yates, Sioux County, N.D.) 1914-1929, 1921-01-27

Two male humming birds rarely
meet without a contest ensuing.
Sioux County pioneer. (Fort Yates, Sioux County, N.D.) 1914-1929, 1921-01-27

I A'|ssllolloll. &c: -is :
The Washington herald., 1921-04-29
WASHINGTON PRODUCE.

EGgs-Nearby. 26c; Southern. eSc;
average receipts. 2ec.
Bu::er-Print. Tic: creamery. sx-
ira, 6Sa69c.
Poultry-Alive: Roosters. 2oa2lc;
turkeys, S5a4oc; spring chickens,
6Oc: White Leghorns. 55c: hens. 30c:
keats, Use: dressed fowls. 35aSSc:
turkeys, 4Oc; ROSTERS, 22as5c.
CaIves-No. 1. s11.
Green Fruits-Apples, per basket.
TScas3.oo, Western. per box. $1,000
$50: apples. per bbl. $1,000
500: pineapples. $5.o0a6.5o: Califor-
mia oranges. SI.0oas.oo; California
lemons. per box. s3.hOa4.5O; grape
fruit. per crate. s4.50a5.oo; Florida
oranges, s4,Soa5.2S: strawberries,
2oaS2h2c qt.
Segetables-Potato nearby. per
Dbl. s17sas,o0; Northern. per sack.
50 95aS.50: string beans. per basket,
Florida, ss.5oa4.0o: new cabbage,
S2.25ae so per CT: beets. Florida. per
crate. s2.50aS00; lettuce, romaine,
per crate. SI.5Oa2.0U: Florida. crate.
Ss-0Oas50: peppers, per crate. s4.00a
500; cymlings. crate, $350a4.00
eggplant. per crate. s5.OOa6.5O; on
ions. per sack. Sl.2Sa1.75; spinach.
per Dbl. S2.00a2.50: Florida toma-
toes. per crate, S6.00a6.5o; sweet po-
tatoes. per crate. S4.00a6.50; yams,
S3.5Oa5.OO; Brussels sprouts. 15a25c;
Florida celery. per crate. S4.5oa5.0o:
bunch celery. s15oa2.o0: peas, per
basket. s3,O0a6.0o.
The Washington herald., 1921-04-29
Arrest Fake Cripple
On Pennsylvania AUe.

Posing as a cripple. Gus Ander-
sNT, a l7-year-old cOlored youth. of
%? Bassett court northeast, was
raking in many contributions We'd
neSday from charitably inclined
pedestrians at Pennsylvania avenue
and street until Detective Sergts
Waldorf and Davis discovered that
the supposed paralytic victim was
in Perfect physical condition bar
ring a corn or two on his feet.
Anderson aroused much sympathy
when CrouChed against the buildinc
with his arms pressed tightly 10
his side and his feet twisted in
PECULIAR position. When questioned
~ca;arding his deformities. Anderson
brought both arms into play to
pat TO his feet where he claimed
h rad a corn or two from walking
fr.1 Richmond to Washington to
- 'rk for work" He was held az
IL" First Precinct charged with
NaEranCy.
The Washington herald., 1921-04-29
PHILADELPHIA PRODUCE.

PHILADELPHIA. April 2s.--But-
ter quiet. at 1c lower. Solid
packed creamery. extra, 4tc; fancy.
high scoring goods, 42a44c: extra
firsts, 3sa40c; firsts, 35a3Sc; seconds.
30a34c: garIicky. 1Sa25c; sweet
creamery. choice to fancy, 43a45c:
fair to good, 32a42c; fancy prints
jobbing at 51a53c; fair to choice,
43a50c.
Eggs-Market frm, with demand
fairly active. Quotations: Nearby
firsts. 26hc; current receipts. Csc;
western. extra firsts. 26hc; frsts,
25ha3sc: Southern. 22a23c; fancy Sc
lected eggs jobbing at 35a36c; fair
TO good, 29a34c. -
Live poultry-Fowls-F fat.
30a32c: medium. 2sa2sc; inferior. 27c;
spring chickens, broilers, good qu4i-
ity. Weighing 1a1la lbs. apiece. 65a
75c: spring chickens, Leghorns,
weighing 1alh lbs. apiece. 55a65c;
roosters. 1sa2oc; ducks, white. Pc
king. 2sa3oc; do, mixed colors, 25a
Csc; pigeons, per pair. 55a60c.
Dressed Poultry - Fowls, fresh
killed, dry picked. in boxes, weigh
ing 4a5 lbs. apiece, 3Shc: weighing
az lbs, 35aS7c: weighing lbs.
apiece, 31s34c. Fowls. fresh killed.
in barrels. dry-picked. weighing "A
lbs. apiece. ice-packed. 37kc;
Weighing 3h lbs. 34a36c: Weighing
lbs. and under, 31a33c; old roos-
ters. dry-picked. Western, 26c; do,
do, Southern, Csc.
The Washington herald., 1921-04-29
HEAVY FINE FOR
IMITAT0R OF
NUXATED IRON
'"9osed by United States Judge

\ heavy hne for violation Of TIE criminal
lsw for selling and tryin; to palm or on
the public. fraudulent limitations Of Minated
lr'n has been imposed by a United States
iudSe in Chattanooga, Tenn
Nuxated Iron is an organic iron prodpc,
like the iron in your blood and like the iron
in spinach. lentils and apples, while the
iron which people usually take is metallic or
mineral iron and can be made much cbeaper
tEaR Nuxated Iron. as mineral iron Is inst
as it comes from the action Of strong acids
snail pieces Of iron On account of the
barge sale Of Nuxsted Iron-It being esti-
Esated that over 900. 900 people annually
a. using it-imitstors found in it a fertile
E'id for heir fraudulent work.
Note:-Nuxated Iron has the largest sale
?. any tonic or blood builder in the world.
li VIII often increase the bodily and mental
Nlzor OF weak. rundown, nervous peopIe IN
i"n weeks time. Your money will be re-
-rnded by the manufacturers II Won do NOT
f'tain perfectly satisfactory results Nnx-
iird Iron comes in tablets only-never In
Eeware Of substitutes. Look for the vo,1
Nexatsd on every package and the letters
y J.. on every tablet. For sale by All
i-ugEists.-Ady.
The Washington herald., 1921-04-29
new BOND OFFER
INFLUENCES MART
General Rail List Slightly
Lower; Liberty 3Hs Make
Another New Low.

NEW YORK, April 2s.-The bond
market was plainly under the in
fiuence of the Northern Pacific
Great Northern $3.50. 100000 bond
Offering today. as it had been on
Tuesday and Wednesday. The offer
ing was made this morning. 1t is
understood that the books will be
kept open until the close of business
tomorrow. when syndicate members
will make their reports to the man
aging houses. Meantime trading in
the bonds on a when issued basis
is by no means a noteworthy fea-
ture of the bond market. The price
today was 96l2. The Chicago. Bur
lington and Quincy joint As. which
are acceptable at par " payment
for the new 6t2s moved within a
narrow range Of Wednesdays clos
ing price of $685.. In view Of the ac-
tivity Of this issue its nearness to
par and the absence of an incentive
for paying more than par to secure
them. the Stock Exchange ruled
that they should be quoted on the
cents basis" which is used in Lib
erty Bond quotations The nearest
equivalent to yesterdays closing
price, therefore, was 1914.
The Washington herald., 1921-04-29
ROCKVILLE

ROCKVILLE, Nd. April 2s.-Miss
Ethel o. Athey, daughter Of John
s. Athey. Of Jamestown, this coun-
ty, and Henry d. Stuart, Of Cora
opolis. Pa. were married last night.
About seventy-hve clubwomen or
the county attended a meeting at
the home OF Mrs. Julian b. Waters,
near Germantown, yesterday. Mrs.
Josiah W. Jones, president of the
Montgomery County Federation Of
women's Clubs, presided
Miss Ethel Redmond and Thomas
{. Vermillion, both of Baltimore.
were married in Rickville Wednes-
day afternoon. as were Miss Eliza
beth Burnett, of Washington, and
Edward C. Fisher, of Landover, Md.
Miss Helen Packard died on Tues
day at Saranac Lake. n. Y. While
nursing overseas during the war her
health broke down, overwork being
the cause.
The Washington herald., 1921-04-29
BALTIMORE PRODUCE.

BALTIMORE, April 2s.-Butter--
We quote. per ID: Creamery. fancy.
42a4sc; choice. 4Ia42c; good. seattle;
prints. 44a45c; blocks. 42a;4c; iadle.
26a2sc:- = Western. and Pennsylvania
rolls, 2oa2sc: Ohio rolls, 1sa2oc;
West Virginia rolls. 1sa2oc; store
packed, 1sc; Maryland. Virginia and
Pennsylvania dairy prints. 2oa24c:
process butter, 2sa2sc.
Eggs-western Maryland. Penn
syIvania. and nearby hrsts, Csc doz;
Eastern Shore Maryland and Vir-
ginia firsts, Csc; West Virginia trsts,
Csc; Southern frsts. 24c.
Live Poultry-We quote as fol-
lows: Chickens, old hens. lbs and
over, 33a34c; small to medium. ala
33c: white Leghorns. ale; old roos-
ters, 1sa20c; young, large. 40a45c;
young chickens, ~ lbs and under,
5oa56c; spring chickens. 1a1k lbs
and up. 65a75c; springers, white
Leghorns, soc; rough, poor. thin to
shaggy. 3oa35c. Ducks. young, Pekin,
3 lbs and over. 34c; puddle. 32c; Mus
covy, soc: smaller. 2Sc. Pigeons,
young. pair, 5oa55c; old, 5oa55c.
Guinea fowl. young. IN lbs and
over, each, soc.
The Washington herald., 1921-04-29
Old RaiIlDay Engineer
To Call on President

CUMBERLAND, Md. April Is
Congressman Frederick y. Zihlman
has arranged for James I. Carney,
a retired railway engineer of this
city. to meet President Harding at
the White House. Shortly after he
was nominated. President Harding
spent a night here while en- route
to Marion, Ohio. Mr.. Carney, a life
long Democrat, called to pay his
respects. In the conversation. Mr..
Harding told Mr.. Carney of his early
ambition to be an engineer and
stated that If he were elected Presi-
dent. he would be glad to have Mr.
Carney call at the White House to
see him. He will. next week.
The Washington herald., 1921-04-29
Going From Chicago
to NeU York in Canoe

NORFOLK. Va. April 27.-Nearing
the end of a 1O.OO0-mile canoe jour
ney that began in Chicago in Octo-
Der. 1919. and has New York City as
it's objective, William 4. Good, of
Harrisburg. Pa. a sportsman and
magazine writer. left Norfolk today
on his last lap. His course from
here is up the Chesapeake Bay to
Chesapeake City. Md, through the
Delaware River to BOrdentown. y. J.,
and via the Passaic to New York
City. His equipment consists of a
six-foot tent. changes of clothing
and food enough to last a week. 1t
weighs 200 pounds.
The Washington herald., 1921-04-29
Bakers Ask for Changes
in Regulations on Bread

Commissioner James F. Oyster
Yesterday was asked by representa-
tlVes OF local baking companies to
recommend the amendment to the
weights and measures law to make
IL and 24-ounce loaves of bread. The
new weights and measures law pro-
Vides for Is and 32-ounce loaves.
The matter will probably be dis
cussed at the board meeting of the
this morning.
The Washington herald., 1921-04-29
BALTIMORE GRAIN.

BALTIMORE. April :S.-wheat-
Receipts 1865 bus. by car and 221
bus. by boat; shipments from ele-
vators, 19T,412 bus; stock in eleva
tors. 623.4fS bus.
Quotations at the 11:45 a. m. call
were: No. red winter spot. $1.55;
No. red garlicky spot, S1.41; May,
sI.4I.
A sample lot of nearby wheat on
the wharf sold at SIPS per bu
Carlot sales included No. 2 red
winter spot at SISSY and May No.
red winter. first half, at SISSY.
Closing prices: No. 2 red winter
spot. $1.561a: No. red winter gar
licky spot, S1.41 Il; May. S1.411z.
Corn-Receipts. 45.63S bus. by
boat: shipments from elevators.
162.s3O bus; stock in elevators. L.
253.93S bus. Cob corn is, quoted at
s3.70a3.75 per bbI. for car lots of
prime yellow on spot. Track yellow
corn. No. OF better, for domestic
delivery. is quoted nominally at
a 4l2aI42ic per bu. for car lots.
Prices at the I1:45 call were:
Contract spot and April. 7O%c; No.
corn. 672ic.
Closing prices: Contract spot and
April. re.
Track domestic. No. or better.
closed at 76a77c and cob at. s3.7Oa
3.75.
oats-Receipts. 2s.552 bus; ship
ments from elevators. 7,195 bus. :;
stock in elevators. 379,S75 bus; No.
? white oats were quoted at 4s11c
and No. white at 46hc around
midday.
Sales included No. 3 white eleya-
tor at 47c.
Closing: No. white, 4sc: No. 3
white, 47c.
Rye-Receipts, 62,652 bus: stock
in elevators, 32S,513 bus: shin
ments from elevators. 72,2e5 bus;
No. Western spot was quoted at
h;47 at noon call ard s1.H for No.
Western spot.
Sales Of No. 2 Western spot at
S1.47; No. 2 Western spot closed. at
$1.47h bid
The Washington herald., 1921-04-29
Thirsty Ones Regard
TruckLO1d of Beer

LONACONING. Md. April IS
Beer that analyses per cent is
being brought in here by the truck
load from Pittsburgh and is being
offered over several bars here, it is
said. Late last Saturday night a
truckload arrived too late for distri-
button and the truck with the
barreled beer was parked in Main
street
The Washington herald., 1921-04-29

Iins"ed meal, s42.OO ton: gluten
feed. $3.50 ton: hOminy feed
(white). $3.50 ton: dried beet pulp
$3.50 ton: No. white corn, 7sc
bushel; No. . yellow corn. 79c
bushel: No. . white corn. Tic bushel;
No. 3 yellow corn. TIC bushel: No.
2 white oats. 4Sizc bushel; No. J
white oats, 47l.c bushel.
The Washington herald., 1921-04-29
DESMOND NAMED
FIRE DEPT. CHIEF
IN ALEXANDRIA
Reorganization Arranged
to Handle Strike
Situation.
THE HERALD BUREAU,
A. 5. Doniphan.
1pT VI. Gfroat

THE hEhAbD BUREAU
A. s. Doniphan,
TT King Street
ALEXANDRIA. Va. April as
William Desmond, chairman of the
FIRE committee of City Council. to-
cav was appointed chief of the hre
,Iepartment by Mayor Duncan to I'LL
ths vacancy caused by the resigna-
tion Of Fire Chief Kenneth W. Og-
Sen Nofman Roberts. president OF
the Columbia Fire Engine Company
was appointed by the mayor as
deputy fire chief.
These appointments are effective
from noon Saturday until the CITY
CounciI elects a fire chief. This will
b, done at the regular meeting OF
IN. CITY Council, which will be
held May 10.
Mavor Duncan stated today that
they would have sufficient men 20
handle the fire situation when .he
members Of the Reliance and Re
lief companies quit at midnight Sat-
,lrday. Practically all arrangements,
it was stated. have been made for
the REORGANIZATION Of two new vol
unteer fire companies.
Inc htN- " l4AAeAIA " A+A'NS'Af
Gently appointed pastor of ST. John's
Church. warrcnton. Va, tonight was
rendered a reception by the conGre-
cations of St Mary's and st. Hita's
churCaes in the Lyceum Hall. He
was presented with a purse OF gold.
81. Mary's Junior Players tonight
presented Kathleen MavOurneen
included thu Misses Rosa Murphy.
MARGARET Shuman, Edith Brill, Lii
lian Fannon, and Raymond and
Frank Becker, Carl Rothmund,
Lawrence Roland, Louis Whitestone,
Clarence Kennedy, Francis u. Fan
non, Norris Roland and Elmo
Nhitestone. The performance Will
be repeated tomorrow night.
Mrs Harry Semones, Roanoke, Va,
State president of the Parent
Teachers Association, at ) o'clock
tomorrow afternoon, will address
the Parent-Teachers' Association al
a meeting in Lee School.
Miss Helen SOmervilIe Packard
died yesterday at Saranac Lake,
y. \. The funeral will take plac.
at 1850 o'clock tomorrow.
Ernest L. Mills made the pres
eutation speech when a Set of sill
yer was presented to Miss Helen :
liCaSan.
Members of K. Z. Lee Camp, Con
federate Veterans, and the members
Of the WOman's Auxiliary, Confed-
crate Veterans, will attend the ru-
neral of b c. White, which will be
held al 10 o'clock tomorrow morn
ing at St. Mary's Catholic Church.
The Washington herald., 1921-04-29
United states Department OF Agri-
cuIture-Bureau of Markets.

Based on April IS quotations in
important markets. prices for hay.
feed and grain in carlots delivered
Washington. d. C. for prompt ship
ment are quoted as follows: No. I
timothy hay. $3.50 ton; No. tim
othy hay. s24.50 ton: No. clover
mixed. $23.O0 ton: spring wheat
bran. $3.50 ton; spring wheat mid
dlinGs. S24.50 ton: cottonseed meal
(36 per cent?, s34.75 ton; old process
The Washington herald., 1921-04-29
Postoffice Robber Gets SIS.

DANVILLE, Va, April 2S.-The
Pelham. N. c., postoffice was robbed
last night of SIS. This was the sec
ond robbery committed in this sec
ton In five days and government
rewards offered total 10000. The
postoff1ce at Witt was robbed last
Saturday night.
The Washington herald., 1921-04-29
Shoots Man With Rifle.

LYNCHBURG, Va, April 2s.-Mrs.
l. ID. Chrisman, wife of an eIectri-
clan here, today shot Harry ]. Read
at her home when she alleges he
was in the act OF hitting her over
the head with a club. She fred six
times with a .22-calibre rifle. Two
shots struck Read. He may re-
cover.
The Washington herald., 1921-04-29
Held for Selling Liquor,

T IMBERLAND, Md. April Is
Silhio FranCiosi was held in $500
D. United States Commissioner
Thomas J. Anderson for selling in
t":.icating liquor. The Federal
agents charge that the Volstead act
h-s been persistentIy violated at this
saloon
The Washington herald., 1921-04-29
STATE EVENTS
Bill Asks Raise
For Bookbinder
Workers In G. p. o.

Representative Zihlman, OF Mary
land yesterday introduced . bill in
the House to increase the pay of
bookbfnders and bookbinder machine
operators employed in the Gov m
ment Printing once to $l.W per
hour for the time actually employed.
The Washington herald., 1921-04-29
Tanning Plant Resumes

OAKLAND. Md. April 2S.-The
plant Of the Tioga Tanning Com
ny at Hutton. this county, has
rc*umed operations. 1t has been
closed since January l because Of
: * Of orders. About 100 men are
employed.
The Washington herald., 1921-04-29
COTTONSEED OH.

NEW YORK. April 2S-Cottonseed oil
W. steady. Spot $50 bid; crude. 4 1876 900.
The Washington herald., 1921-04-29
land that
American Weekly Magazine

the greatest of all Sunday news
paper features-equal to the best of
the big monthly magazines in size
and quality of articles carried each
week.
The Washington times., 1921-12-05
HUMAN
- UI:ll;ana A&horfo,, I'm Pnu-

President Harding recently wrote facetiously
and protestingy to Darwin p. Kingsley, the
president Of the New York Life Insurance Com
pany. who had declined to insure the life of the
great turkey which graced the White House
table Thanksgiving Day.
This gobber" he said. may be overweight.
but he il also decidedly average. q circumstance
which according to the actuarial data OF this
group indicates impressive tenacty Of life.
My advices that the gobber that gets past
one Thanksgiving Christmas deadline thereby
automatically acquires a lease of life, the
statistics indicating that he is pretty certain to
complete a second cycle with wshbone and drum
sticks intact and general health unimpaired.
While mortality is VIGOROUSLY high among i'm
mature turkeys, their record of longevity, once
they have passed the critical periods. is calcu.
lated to make even offceholders envious.
Further. I am unable to give official ap-
prevail to your ruling that overweight Cob
bier is a dangerous risk The aim of a gobbler's
existence liz to attain overweight. 1t should be
the ambition of your company to encourage, not
discourage, his efforts at corpulence. Why do
gobblers abstain from golf or from taking courses
at Muldoon's? Why they encouraged to lose
their waist hines early and never recover them?
Manifestly. the standardized relationship between
height and weight, which is n"ope~ly prescribed
for gobs. doesn't apply to gobblers"
George AIDE was being told by an admirer Just
how wonderful that admrer' thought authors
were. and he responded by telling a story.
You remind me. he said cot, "of the time right
went to spend a week at summer resort out
side Of Chicago The landlord of the hotel said
to me:
"'Mr. AIDE, you are a literary man, I believe
IT blushed and smiled and answered that had
written a few trifles.
:" L have several literary men stopping here
said he 4 like literary men,
Well said I, I am glad Of that
Yes said he. like literary men. They
never object to paying in advance. Theys used
to it."
A Britisher attending the Washington confer
ence was, the other day relating story of Aus
ten Chamberlain, the veteran Of English politics.
Mr. Chamberlain day in the lobby of a
London hotel when he was approached by a timid
man, who asked
May I speak to you for a moment?'
Certainly" said Mr.. Chamberlain.
II can't say II here" said the youth. Cant
we find a place of greater privacy7"
The cautious young man led Mr.. Chamberlain
into a dark corridor, where he explained that he
was the staff Of well-known paper and
would like to get the view OF the minister on the
Transvaal question, which was then to the fore
Very WELL" said the statesman with a dark
and mysterious look. Come with me-" And he
led the young reporter through a maze Of halls
and into the obscurest and darkest corner he
could find. and from that point looked around
cautiously and then in a suppressed whisper said:
my friend, really don't know anything
about It,"
Copyright 1870