davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-08-28

And the secondhand wit is hardly
less insufferable For, when thou
hast heard ALL his collection of
wheezes and Joe-millers. unto seven
times seven times, it is as life in a
cheap boarding house, upon contIn-
uous diet Of left-overs.
He is a photograph with only two
records, exceeding wearisome.
10. the after-dinner story-teIIer
might, peradventure, be endured; but
he is without mercy! And. though
the point OF his story be as far from
it's beginning as New York from San
Francisco, he will NEVER let thee
escape!
But. only she that hath been wed
ded to the sprightly tease" or to
the professional humorist knoweth
the full sorrow Of life, and hath
tasted all it's bitterness.
For, the first is as a hornet in the
heart Of the rose, and the second is
as a thundercloud at a picnic. To
be funny is his BUSINESS: and
when he layeth down his pen, he
ceaseth from his labors and revelleth
in gloom and dyspepsia
Yet, 1 charge thee. my Daughter,
wed not a man WITHOUT a sense
of humor. For a kindly sense of hui
NOR is the balancing-rod that keep
etha man on life's trolley.
Verify. verify, a man that knoweth
not a joke when he seeth it. and
cannot take a joke, and cannot for
give a joke, hath no warrant TO enter
into the House of Matrimony.
But, life with an eternally FUNNY
man, who can bear It?
Selah.
Copyright 1929
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-08-28
IMPORTANCE.
cleveland Press. }

That the French government and people i'm
pressed with the mOmentOus possibilities involved
IN the Washington disarmament conference is in
dicated by the announcement that Premier BRAND
will head the French delegation.
France, the premier is virtually the head OF
the government, the president being more of a
hgurehead than IS the king in England.
II is extremely probable that Great Britain and
Italy will take the French and send delegations
headed by their premers and thus avoid the dis
advantage of being outranked.
And IL would not be surprising IL JaIan decided
that the advantage Of being represented at Wash
ngton by its highest responsible official capable
making final decisions outweighed all other con-
alterations.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-08-28
1.-THE MAN IN 4 MILLION"
fnoc ATOfua- CanffaIN

Ralph r. Obenchain, Chicago attorney. has UT
dertaken the unique task of defending the woman
who divorced him. II is for the world sey
whether he Is prompted TO do this by his undyirg
for the woman by desire 20 be of manly
service to womanhood in general No matter what
our opinions OF Mrs Obenchain may be, we cannot
question the motives OF her husband who rushed
TO her defense when she was accused OF numbering.
or taking part in the murder, OF j. Bolton Kennedy
IN California Whether IL is love feeling OF OBJ
legation 10 society. we cannot but admire the young
lawyer from Chicago He deserved more loyalty and
devotion than he received in his unhappy maria
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-08-28

ers that are cultivated an plugged
an watered an coddled? Those that
do smell, smell fierce. We love tn
hollyhock. We admire its indepen-
dence an It's friendliness o. things
We IKE tn way It steps in an re-
lives tn ugly places with It's beauty
without expectin' anythin' in return.
We love tn hoIlyhOck because II
keeps away from its stuck up rela-
tives an prefers Z adorn tn door
yards O. tn poor an obscure. No
other flowerin plant attends as
strictly Z its own business as tn
hollyhock. No other plant makes as
big q shown, or shows as little re-
sentiment when grubbed out. No
plant bows as gracefully Z tn in
evitable as tn hollyhock. It's been
kicked about until it's glad L light
any place, an moreover, IL aalus puts
on its whole show whether ther 8
anybuddy around e admire it or
not"
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-08-28
THE TAX AMENDMENTS.

The proposal to amend the constitution and
move all tax limitations from etion by the legisa-
ture has aroused much opposition and an organized
effort is being made to defeat the two proposals.
1t is argued that the legislature Is a political
body and that its decisions quite likely to be
guided BY partisan or sectional considerations.
The present constitution provides that the taxation
must be based on an equal assessment and an equai
rate of taxation on all classes Of property The
legislature is also limited in exemptions to charita-
BILE. religious and educational institutions
It is the wipins out Of this restriction that Is
feared by she opponents of the proposals.
Against the argument OF those lighting the change
is the claim that the very interests which object
in Indians were the sponsors for a similar chang,
in Ohio.
The legislature. they point out. meets every two
aroused general antagonism could at the most last.
but for that period.
They also point out that conditions may arise
which may demand changes of tax laws IN order
that the general interest may be served.
New York city as an incentive building Of
homes 10 relieve the house shortage. has recently
provided that there shall be no for 10 years
on new buildings used as residences That course
was suggested a means or reducing rents and pro-
viding better housing facilities
some OF the other states have at times exempted
from taxation new factories for fixed periods OF time
In this way they sought 70 stimulate industries
and provide against general unemployment
Il 3 also POINTED that It might. under certain
conditions, be advisable provide for varied rates
different classes OF property. Taxing properly
into USaful channels has always been theory that
has had a wide following
These the arguments The question should be
decided by each voter on belief in what viii BIS.
serve the interests OF the state.
Those afraid OF political legislatures VIII vote
against the amendments Others who believe thst
representative government should be allowed act
freely and quickly In response 20 changing condi-
saSa@ and Sunls eDauson. YIN gndeabtsGsy =cprov~
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-08-28
ARE YOU 4 CAENOLESTEs?

over at Chicago at the Field museum. they
exhibiting rather wierd little animal that is worth
studying just possible that In it you may hnd
a reflection OF something within yourself
The scientists have given TO the little animal that
slight six inches and is somewhat similar
10 a rat In appearance. the name caenolestes.
They do explain the reason for the name.
which after all Is important.
The announcement Is made that its claim to at
tention fame Is the fact that for three mil
hon years it has not changed its shape. its size, Us
color its habit of life
Not that any one remembers the first Of It's tribe.
But the shrewd sherloeks of science and geology
have traced history in the rocks which record the
shifting changes in the face Of the globe.
The same scientists point the fact that all
other forms of life have undergone great changes
They assert that the earliest forms Of life
little water wiggers that for a day. There
came. they cay in the countless years. the large
Tnammoths of that era when all world
tropca-great dinosaurs, 100 times the size OF ee-
plants. siurian reptiles OF enormous length
Then followed the mammal life and diversion
OF species and genera producing the multitude OF
forms Of animal life known today.
And during all this little never changed.
He wormed his way through the ages, content to
live his first ancestor had lived. existing his
in form OF a higher development and at the end
taking nothing from It.
Others than scientists would have used different
word than success in describing the animal as docs
the curator Of the museum. Dr. Wilfred H. Osgood
who says:
THE secret success simplicity
of it's requirements. 1t has never gone to ex-
tremes. never developed any very special tastes
or requirements. 1t never tried any experiments.
never went off On a tangent and took any
chances"
This comment, in itself Is almost perfect recipe
for failure.
Life does not mean stagnation Mere existence is
the fate to be dreaded.
Had Columbus patterned his life upon of this
museum exhibit, there would have been new
world.
Put the brain OF this rodent into the skull Of
Edison and the brilliantly lighted homes of today
might still glimmer the hiokers from candles.
Social economists became alarmed during the
because girls who worked in factories learning
the habit Of wearing silk stockings and furs Today
that same factory girl thinking of ways of
giving to the world larger product in order tina;
she may keep up those habits.
who becomes disconnected with a home
that Is heated with stoves works and plans and
thinks how he may heated with steam
or furnace.
The boy who rebels against life OF hard drudgsry
goes TO school, night school IL necessary-in or
der that he may make his brain supplement- his
muscle IN the battles Of life.
This animal by sheer Incidence, fear and over
caution has remained as it has been for three mil
lion years
Its last stronghold is in the wilds OF Venezuela.
VIII your habits. your outlook life. your group
OF friends. your manner OF thought be the t.
2 IS today7
If they perhaps you had better take caeno-
lestes for your middle name
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-08-28

CHICAGO. Aug. 27.-Father time
and Cupid ran a race today at the
convention OF widows and widowers.
Two hundred men and women.
ranging from 40 10 IS years OF age,
were young once more.
The gathering which was held IN
Washington park was the result OF
the hard work OF Miss Marceline
Stokes. a social worker. and object
matrimOny.
Miss Stokes imposed but one con-
dition on those who Joined the wild
ows and widowers club-they had
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-08-28
Cupid VS.. Father Time

10 affirm that they fulfilled their
marriage vows and lived with their
chosen mate until death did them
part"
Members OF the club Joined be-
cause they were weary OF spending
their last days unloved and lone
some.
Yes" said Miss Stokes. the club
has been a success. Already eight
marriages have resulted from our
little gatherings and many more are
In the offing."
The founder has asked social
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-08-28

agencies IN other cities to establish
similar clubs.
we try 20 have our meetings once
every week. she gaid, usually Sun
day afternoon. and how they look
forward 10 them. Many have regu-
lar dates" In the park. Lovers
quarrels and petty Jealousies are not
at all unusual
Love IS the came. believe.
whether It's engendered IN the heart
OF sixteen or sixty-year- old"
And love pirate Is just as apt
10 be an old man an a handsome
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-08-28

young bounder. Miss Stokes has
found.
She tells this scandal OF the
club.
zone old boy nearly 20 was a reg
ular attendant at our meetings. He
was the favorite with all the vom-
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-08-28
POOR EMMA.
CkAnSaS C1fY Sfar.l

It's real pathetic about Emma Goldman, pining
away there in Russia because she can't come back
America. She's homeeick for this capitalsttc
country, according 10 travellers who have her
that she's positive embarrassment TO the Soviet
authorities She them IL appears, and they
don't know what 20 do with her. 4 political Mrs
Cummings IN the house would be a trihe wearing
10 doubt
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-08-28

err and broke up many happy Mtus
affair.
"Au went well until an irate 1t
to woman appeared on tho scene
and shouted. Here you are. Ezra.
posing as wld0wer when you're
my husbandi"
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-08-28

A bachelor loves 10 look at a pretty
woman. through the haze of his Gig
arctic, and weave beautiful dreams
about marriage. 1t is like riding on
a scenic railway-all thrills and no
danger.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-08-28

A mans most effective after-din-
ner speeches are those short but i'm
passioned ones, which he sometimes
makes, regarding the home dinner
and which makes a woman hate
cooking.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-08-28

The average man goes to his grave
secretly wondering whether he cap
tured the woman he married, or
merely capitulated 10 her.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-08-28

A little boy never can decide
whether he wants to become a pirate
or a banker, when he grows up; a
little girl can't decide whether she
wants to be a nun or a vampire
and usually they waver between
these two, all the rest Of their lives
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-08-28

The woman who marries a man al
ways has a life struggle, trying TO
live up to his radiant, imaginary
ideal OF the woman he didn't get.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-08-28

Love is a permanent wave OF emo
ton, which lasts just as long as any
other permanent wave"-about six
months. at the most.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-08-28
Reflections of a
Bachelor Girl

Alas. II a golfer marTies before
forty, his golf suffers; If he marries
after forty. his wife suffers.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-08-28

There were 61.s59 900 cigarets sold last year
and still some fellows seered always lust out
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-08-28

Eve would have had hard time tempting Adam
with apple at the present price.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-08-28

Marriage is a sort OF mental Their
mos. which keeps your heart warm
in winter, cool in summer-and at
about the same deadly tepid temper
ature, all the year round.
The Bienville Democrat., 1921-05-12
COMMISSION SALE

Succession Of Wiley L. Hood, deceased
No. 1913, Probate Docket, Third Dis
trict Court, Bienvile Parish, Louis
lana.
Under and by virtue of a commission
issued from the Third Judicial District
Court in the above styled matter an(
to me directed. | will sell, to the last
and highest bidder, for cash, at, tn,
principal front door Of the court house
in the Town of Arcadia, Bienvlle par
ish, Louisiana, within legal sale hours
on
Saturday, May 2lst, 1921
the following described property, to
wit:
Lots 6, Z, s, 8 and 10, Block 4 anl
Lots 20 and 10 and 36 feet off of nortl
end of lots I, 3, 3, and 5, block 10, an'
hotel building thereon, all situated ii
the town of Saline, Louisiana, and
Note signed by Leroy CaSket in fav
Or of w. L. Hood, $4,000.
Note signed by N. G. Hall in favor o
W. L. Hood, $4,000.
Note signed by J. A. Readheimer il
favor of W. L. Hood, $500.
Open accounts due by various part
les aggregating, $531OO
One bale Of cotton, one horse an
single wagon, one old automobil
| (Ford), two COWS and two calves, on
The Bienville Democrat., 1921-05-12
NEWCOMERS WANT TO KNOW
Questions Intending Residents Will
Ask Before They Decide on
Locating In Any Town. =

Questions that people ask ABOUT
YOUR town before they decide to make
It their town:
Attractiveness: Shall like the
town-its "atmosphereT Does It nave
the beauty of shaded streets ana
other beautiful features? Is it quiet
roomy, airy. well-ligh1ed town? Does
II have attractive public buildings ana
homes? Is It we'll paved? ls.it clean
in every sense! ,
Healthfuness: VIII my family ana
have a reasonable chance to keep
we'll in that town? How about us
water supply? It's sanitary system
It's methods of milk Inspection! hs
health department? Its hospitals
Is it without any congested distrlct'
Education: Can I educate m!
family and myself in that town? HOW
about its public schools-present an(
future? It's institutions of higher eou
cation or of business training? IL
libraries? It's lecture and concer
courses? It's newspapers? Its posta
facilities?
People: Shall l like the people 0
the town? Are they "home folks
without false exclusiveness! Are the
ne,ghborly and friendly? Is the tow
free from factlonalism!
The Bienville Democrat., 1921-05-12
SUERIFF"S SALE

No. 5JSj, Third District Court' hIcp'
vile Parish. La, H. {. Walker v
Mrs. A. u. Perrltt.
Hv virtue Of Il writ OF 1lrrl laclas
issued on a final Judgment Of the above
,,yled court, in said cause and to me
directed, have seized Hld Will sell al
public auctiOn for cash acc0rtlnS lo
law at the principal front door OF the
court house Of BicnyilIc Parish, Louis
lana, at Arcadia, within legal puolIc
sale hours on
Saturday, May ?Sth, 1921
Block "UN" and the improvements
thereon. according to the official plat Oh
the Town Of GibSIand, Bicnyli!e par-
ish, Louisiana, subject TO appraISe
mcnt.
Said property to be sold as belong
in. to the said defendant to pay ana sat
! isfy the debt specified in sad WIFI 70
,cc,hcr with interest, attorneys Lees
and costs. ,o,,
This Arcadia, La, April 1Sth, M-l'
j. +. CURRlE, Sheriff.
The Bienville Democrat., 1921-05-12
CONSTABLE SALE

State of Louisiana, Parish CT Ben
vile. 2nd Justice OF the feac'
Court. Ward ., Campbell Mercantile
Co. VS.. H. G. Mullins.
Under and by virtue of a Writ OF
Firri Facias issued out OF the above
named Honorable Court and to me dl-
rectcd, | have seized and will offer fol
sale to the last and highest bidder TO
cash with the benefit of appraiSement
at 1900 o'clock a. m. in front Of the
Bienville Bank, Bienville, La. on
Saturday, June llth, 1921
the following described p0rperty, TO-
wit:
E II of NV il of SW If, Sec. t
7. u, r. 6, containing 20 acres mort
or less
Seized as the property of the de
fcudant, II. c. Mullins. and will he sole
to satisfy said writ and all cost.
This the End day Of May, 1921.
n. POLAND. Constable.
The Bienville Democrat., 1921-05-12
SHERIFF SALE

d. Z. Brown, Jr., vs.. Dave baiIey, No..
3s2S, Third Judicial Dl>jrlc1 Court
State of Louisiana, Parish Of Bien.
vile.
Under and by virtue Of Writ Of
Execution issued from the above nam.
ed Honorable Court and to nic direct.
ed, | have seized and will otfer for
sale to the last and highest "''|der for
cash, with the benefit of apprajsement
at the principal front door Of The
Courthouse at Arcadia, Bicnyllle Par
jsh, La. within legal sale hours on
Saturday, May "Sth, WI
the following described property, to
wit:
E1-2 Of NE II, Sec. +, Up, II N
r. 6 W.
The above described property seiz
ed as belonging to the defendant Dav
Bailey, and will be sold to satisfy sal
Writ of Execution and all costs.
This the 18th day of April, 1921.
J.E. CURRlEl, Sheriff.
The Bienville Democrat., 1921-05-12
c.;,ro,I, "a Plant Trees.

A tree planting campaign WI, -,
started all along the Rock IS'a''' .'',s' s
tha American Forestry assocl"''''' an.
nonrccs The plans as worked out II"
c,ude tree planting suggestions '''I
identification plans for the S'''lo",
and the homes Of the employees u
,ha, railroad. The Rock Island Nas"-
zine the association says, Will '"'
rounco the outline Of the work III 'le
novt Issue of that publication when
goes to all its workers. "IhlS IS one
nf thp most constructive progr*llS Se'
nrosontp1." said Charles Lathrop PacN'
nrqsidcnt of the American Forestry as
sociation. "The plans hook up WIN our
e1ncotjonal campaign TOR s'uoSIhS
frees now being introduced III ln'
schools through our natloh"l r''e'
erd,,m for the choice of a tree mos
tvnira) of America. The aSsoc''''o'
vii, send free tree-plantins lnS'foes
nors to any who ask
The Bienville Democrat., 1921-05-12
TREES GIVEN EXPERT CAKE
gody Of Public Spirited Los Anee'es
Men Recognizes the 'mpor'
tance Of the Work.

Recognizing that the average GU.
yan or average Iaboring man. Knows
little or nothing about moving 'lees'
q rro,m Of Los Angeles men have or
gonized q company which has for us
nurDose the transplanting OF trees
and thp removal Of trees and slumps
about the city.
The tree and stump company IS
decidedly mobile organizations 0s
men travel in automobiles, carrying
thejr tools and tree-moving machh'
ery in trailers behind the cars. linus
coujpped they are prepared to 60
quickly to any location about the cl'y
wherever their services are requlreu'
The mechanical appliances of tree
transplanting, and tree and stump re-
moyal are few and simple. There IS
an abundance of block-and-tacKle
equipment for the handling OF large
heavy trees, and a compact wlho!ass
of special design is used for pulllns
trees out by the roots.
When tree is merely to re re-
moved, stream of water played IRON
q hose is used to diSlodge the earl''
from the roots. If the tree mas u
be moved any great distance, heaV'
wire netting Is wrapped about 1ht
roots to hold the earth intact lhiS
IS then re-enforced with rope, ana 'lt
tree is lacked onto roller dollles 10
transportation. At It's new loa''o'
the wire netting is removed ah'
blocks and tackle are used to MOIST
into position.-John Edwin Hoss "
Popular Mechanics Magazine.
The Bienville Democrat., 1921-05-12
Low IN Succeed.

Orlson SWEET Marsden, well known
as an anostle of the cult of OPTIMISM
chperfulness and business efficiency
yives the following formula for sue
cess: Exactly in proportions TO 'he n
degree In which you increase your sell
confidence by the affirmation OF WHAT
YOU are determined to be and 10 oo'
your ability will increase
Primitive Lamps.
The first lamps, known as "Betty
lamps, introduced In America, when
the first Pilgrims landed, resembled
somewhat the old Greek models. Some
were forged from iron, and others
were cast In brass. They were fat on
top and bottom, and the wick support
was q crude bar, fastened by the low
er end to the inside bottom of the
lamp. A handle at the back attached
by links to pointed hook held the
lamp suspended from a high backed
chair or creyice in the stone fireplace
The Bienville Democrat., 1921-05-12

tvo (32), Township fifteen \l9( horlh'
Rouyr five \J) west, containing elsn'!
So, acres. with all of the buildings
and improvements thereon Also' lM'
mnIcs two COWS and calves, three soN>
nimr shoats and thirteen pigs one 1Wo
horse wagon, plows, tools anu 1arn''l's I.
inncmcnts about 100 bushels ol col II, !,
Sail property being claimed D.! S"I'
honkrlpt as his homestead rlsh'' ',''
minimum bids to be received must n'
Sufficient to pay said bankrupt in specl,
the sum of Two Thousand Dollars anu
,)) costs of the bankruptcy proceed
ingS.
TERMS OF SALE-CaSh, to the laS'
and highest bidder, free OF all hc''>
and MORTGAGES, subject to the appfo'"
Of the court. ,.
This the 9TH day of May. 1921.
RUSSELL ?. MOORE, Trustee.
The Bienville Democrat., 1921-05-12
SHERIFF SALE

Jackson Parish Bank vs.. J. /, Robin.
son, No. 5501, Third judicial d.
trict Court, State of Louisiana, Par.
ish of Bienyille.
Under and by virtue of a Writ Of
Execution issued from the above nam,
ed Honorable Court and to me direct,
ed, l have. seized and will offer for
sale to the last and highest bidder for
cash, with the benefit of appraisement
at the principal front door Of the
Courthouse at Arcadia, Blenville Par
ish, La, within legal sale hourson
Saturday, May 2Sth. 1921
the following described property, to
wit:
NE IA of NV IA, Sec. Is, Tp. Il
n, R.5W.
The above described property SEIZED
as belonging to the defendant ]. L
Robinson, and will be sold to saha!
said Writ of Execution and all costs
This the 1st day of April, 1921.
J. e. CURRIE, Sheriff.
The Bienville Democrat., 1921-05-12
For Memorial Parks.

Ncmhcy> Of COMPANY G, 1o4lh En-
rj,<rrS. IRE planning a m''h"r'a' ue'
in Stacy Park, Ircntol' Ne"
Jersey. A tablet is to be erected III
tnp center of a cluster of SIX oi'N trees,
70 he planted to mark the mem"'y Oh
tho six Trenton members of TIE Or
,,ooixa,jop who were killed in action
Saws the American Forestry MaSa-
zine. Another planting OF lSo 'aN
tree, along the Lincoln highway IS
also arranged for, to perpetua'e me
memory of the $50 soldiers Of lr','-
TO, and Mercer County, who d'eo III
tho war, The American Forestry AS
soci,tior is registering all memorial
trees in a national honor roll