Arizona republican., 1921-03-25
THE ONCE OVER
THE BOSTON RATHTue CENSUS

Massachusetts has completed cen sus of bathtubs. Whether conditions in that particular state made this highly imperative or not is not dis closed, but the figures reveal there is one bathtub for every four and four tenths CAD persons.
 This is extremely unsatisfactory. Four persons have never succeeded in getting into one bathtub at the same time with any degree of comfort. H. fact, it Is quite difficult trick.
 Even though the four people are well acquainted and able to make allow ances for one another's bathtub man ners, quartet bathtubbing is ever highly successful diversion socially, athletically. or aquatlcally. And a bathtub census takes it's people hit or miss-picks them at random, as it werei
 The Massachusetts census, followed to its logical conclusion, simply hurls the populace into the available bath tubs, four to a tub, without as much as Mrs. Jones, I'd like to have you meet MT. Smithers; MT, Smithers, Mrs. Jones. etc"
 And then come those embarrassing altermdtnS LOT small we say d1ler- baths?) when Miss Jenks runs across Miss Benks some time later and in quires, Haven't I met you some place before? Let me think. |. Oh to be surei St was in a bathtub at Back Bay the day of the foursome!"
 And if getting four people into a tub is admittedly difficult, imagine trying to get the four tenths of a fifth person as provided by the census fig uresi
 Would the fifth person be willing to bathe only four -tenths?
 And which four tenths?
 Massachusetts is mum on these i'm portant questions, and lets it be in- ferred that the fifth person at every bathtub party will have to be content with four-tenths of a bath, making it necessary for him or for her to maKe two trips and a half in order to - one complete bath.
 The cry of discrimination is sure to go up from the throats of the Four Tenths Classes, and the soviet and social revolutionist movements given further impetus.
 Still. it is well Massachusetts did not announce the bathtub census years ago as the comparative figure now made public for the first time shows that in 1880 there was but one bathtub to 40.2 persons, a condition of crowding that defies the imagination! This Is the first inference that when l they called Boston the Bay State they used the word bay in the color shade sense.
 But. to repeat an old adage, where I there is life there Is soap; and Mas sachusetts believes that if the nation there will be one bathtub for every per son inside five years.
 
 | In other words. Massachusetts Is hopeful of being able to allot one bath tub per capita. This per capita stuff is most interesting. For instance. the government says the per capita wealth | of the nation is s5S.9S. You ought to ! have that sum, but have you? Simi- | larly in Massachusetts, when that glad | day comes when the governor can an. nounce that every citizen of the state should have one porcelain bathtub there will be many people able to take complete inventory of their belong ings without finding one. And, should the happy condition of affairs be really achieved would there be enough Turkish towels to go | around?
 CN. B.-Inquiry arouhd New York failed to reveal that any census had been taken here to show whether New
 York had one bathtub per capita or 40 per capitas per tub. Travellers using the Bronx subway trains. however, ex
 pressed the opinion that in certain sec tions of the city there could not be more than one bathtub to 5000 persons and that that one was out of order.) sss@