Every evening, Wilmington daily commercial., 1921-07-18
To Acquire
Good Breeding
Some Say 1t Can't, But We Know
1t Can, BE Done


no ATTEMPT to appear well bred
when one has been brought mp
\ without breeding would be sheer
affectation. Such is the opinion OF
hpme persons who regard good man
ners as the exclusive property OF
those who belong to families where
tocial amenities are well established
And SOME persons go so far as TO
say that the person who has not beeh
taught good manners in childhood
never can appear well bred. since
good breeding is just what the word
implies-good birth and good bring
Ing up.
This argument is refuted best by
the many examples of men in public
life in America, who have come from
rude homes and have acquired almost
faultless manners. To accuse Abra-
ham Lincoln either of affectation or
lack OF loyalty for his simple, child
Mood home would be absurd. To i'm
eeIne that there was time or oppor-
tunity for polished manners" in that
little hackwoods cabin would also be
a stretch of the imagination. Ana
yet the mature Lincoln's manners
and good breeding were almost haw-
less; for no man could do the
courteous thing more graciously than
be. no man could put those with
whom he associated more at ease
In even the slightest transaction than
he, and few men have ever been able
by word or gesture so thoroughly
- bridge over trying situation as
did Lincoln.
What Lincoln Did.
- y, ,NNff oh
Lincoln was brought up in the
simplest. rudest of homes. he pos
.sessed that innate courtesy and con-
siderateness upon which all good
manners are based Though he may
not have had good table manners
when he FIRST went out in the world
ne did have that characteristic that is
- basis of all good table manners
:. .esire not to offend those with
whom ~, was brought in social con-
tact. me boorish self-made man
feels that il is a matter of affecta-
ton to eat in any other manner than
that to which he vas accustomed in
childhood The man like Lincoln
quickly notes the ways of the world
and, lest the crude manners of the
cabin might offend. he adopts the
new. The young Lincoln might not
have known the correct etiquette for
introducing a man 10 woman of his
acquaintance. but he possessed that
farate courtesy toward women that
is the basis of all good manners be-
tween men and women. Because he
had this he learned quickly the
worlds way OF showing courtesy TO
women.
Etiquette Is Necessary.
Good manners are not only ear
marks of good family and good rear
ing. We do not follow the laws Of
etiquette merely because we want
others 10 thi 4, that we have been
brought up with a certain amount OF
leisure and care; that our parents
have enjoyed prosperity and cultfva-
ton and that our ancestors were
early colonists OF the land. II that
were the reason we sought to be well
bred. then it might be afIectation.
But etiquette is the system of con-
duct that has been built up, bit by
bit, as the best means OF carrying
on social intercourse. The man who
has been brought up among ill-man-
nered folk does not. on mingling with
better bred persons. give up eating
with his knife because he wants 10
delude them into thinking that he is
IN aristocrat. but because 81 < with
the fork is most convenient and ap-
propriate and if he did not do il he
would offend others and attract at
tention to his own peculiarities.