The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1921-09-16
REVELATIONS
OF A WIFE
BY ADELE GARRISON.

I seated myself mechanically upon
the coping of the rustic bridge near
Marvin at Robert Savarins request to
listen to his story. ] was glad to sit
down, for my knees were trembling
fbeneath me. / had not realized how
great had been my hidden fear that
the delicate compass needle govern
I ing Robert Savarin's newly regained
mentally had been swerved from its
course, until the calmness of his voice
and manner treasured me.
I'm not man to beat about the
bush, Mrs. Graham" the artist began,
looking down at me with a grim line
about his expressive mouth which told
by some hidden emotion. fAnd I don't
imagine that it will be news to you
when 1 tell you that loved Mrs. I'm
derwood in the long ago days when
I first knew her."
He paused as If for an answer.
gave 1t promptly.
Il have thought of it, certainly" I
replied.
L wish could paint Lillian Gale for
you as she was when / first knew
her." he went on, and every inflec-
ton of his voice, every shade of his
expression breathed the love he had
had for Lillian so long ago, which I
was sure he still felt for her. "Of
course, she was the prettiest thing
! imaginable, as anyone who looks at
her now can see. And she was such
an eager, frank, wide-eyed young
creature. with the sacred fire of am
bition consuming the body and soul
of her"
His words tumbIed over each other
as if he couldn't get them out fast
enough. 1t was as if he were trying
to utter years of depressed passion
and admiration in a moment.
"of Course I Loved Her."
1T isn't in my power to express all
her fresh, girlish enthusiasm meant to
me at that time" he went on. ''She
came into my life when I was much
discouraged in my work, and in aiding
her with what small effort I could, I
found my own enthusiasm come back
to me- Her freshness OF viewpoint
startled me out of the rut of despon-
dency in which / had been travelling.
"Of course loved her. don't think
any man thrown In daily contact with
her as was when she studied in my
studio, could have helped falling in
love with her. But as look back on
it now in the light Of later exper-
fence, there was reverence almost wor-
ship, mingled with my love. / was as
different a feeling from the mad in
fatuation that later ruined my life, as
heaven is removed from hell"
His eyes cleaned with excitement as
he referred to the woman who had sent
him into Is years of mental darkness.
and I saw his hands shake as with the
palsy. / FASTENED to bring his mind
back to Lillian, and in my perturba-
tion said the first thing which came
into my mind.
why in the world didn't you tell
her of your feelings for herr"
I regretted the question as soon as
it left my lips, for a look of poignant
regret overspread Robert Savarin's
expressive face. But the excited CLEAN
left his eyes. his hands ceased tremb- !
ling, and he answered my question
quietly.
~ Have Wondered"
Because / was years older than |
She and as an artist without any ma
terial success with which to care for
a woman as / wished to care for her.
Besides my disappointments had made |
me morose, irritable no companion /
for a fresh-hearted child. So I closed
my lips and thanked God that she +
never suspected my feelings for her /
was any deeper than her careless,
girlish friendship for me-"
1 could have cried out with the I'M
conscious irony of his words. Care
less girlish friendship" was the
way he had imagined Lillian regarded
him in those long past studio days.
And she made a girlish idol of him
and had hidden it in her heart of
hearts. fearing that the man she
she was sure never
thought twice about her-might gain
some inkling OF her feeling toward
him.
But since I have learned of the
tragedy that life has meant to her"
the artist went on, Il have wondered
If 1t wasn't a hideous mistake / made
at that time. Surely even a marriage
in which the love would have been
only upon my side would have been
better for her than the lot that was
hers"
How longed to tell him that If Lii
ian had guessed he loved her she
would have been happy beyond meas
ire But that was Lillian's secret. II
he time ever came, for which there
seemed no glimmer of hope now, when
Lillian should be free 70 show this
nan what was in her heart, it ought
% be from her lips alone that he
should hear it.
ITO be continued)