South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-10-23
| EX N EN-



the only living brother of the IA
nous Barney Google. Barney had
two other brothers, Sam and Bud,
who died of brain fever. Doctors
say that Bonnie Is immune from any
disease that requires brains.)
Most Of the time Us journalists
have to write about other peoples
accidents and marriages and d.
vorses and etc. But this here story
is about the thrilling experyunces of
Sporting Editor Tex Kelly and Star
Reporter Jobbo Corkrum and me-
SELF.
The three Of US worked till about
"a. m. yesterday mornin' and then
decided TO go TO Niles and get
breakfast Kelly had a borrowed
Liz, CoTkrun had found one (l)
smacker, and had an appetite.
We gets 10 Niles all O. X. and
starts back about a. n. and Kelly
was drivin' and keepin on his own
side OF the rode and goin' slow and
havIn' his lites dimd and ever thing
when all Of a sudden another Liz
looms up and gives our Fliv the
Royal Flivver High Sign by runnin'
, right into US.
The Bumper backed out and
whizzed on by and left us as the
BumEee 10 see what the damage
was. Outside Of a fender knocked
/ cross-eyed and the steerin gear
rammed into the transmission case,
we was all o. X.
So Jobbo SEE: Let's get that
bird"
So we turned around and lit out
after him Little Bonnie had the
old throttle and I'm too modest TO
tell YOU 1 overhauled that murderer
lust this side of Niles but he
wouldn't stop and led US on into
Niles and then tried TO lose us by
+ chasin' up and down alleys and
+ side streets and across the commons
and back of the Niles ice plant.
lie put his F'liv thru mudhOles
and across the high hurdles, but our
Liz Just laughed the rawcus smoker
OF the high bred Ford and we stay
ed right on the fugativ's rear.
Finely he slipped out on a by
road and tried 10 run away from
Us. He had about as much chance
as Iowa'd have in return game
with the Irish.
We drove up alongside OF our
quarry and run him into the ditch.
Now comes the climax.
What il there was three Of EN-
i'm that car? We was a mob OF
three and that'd make it man for
man which may be the ideal layout
tor movie battle. but which wasn't
what we was after
or what If the shOffer had a gatE
1T was "a situwaysnun that re-
Quired strategy SO Kelly had the
presence of mind to say TO Jobbo:
-Jobbc, YOU get out and give him
the razz."
That sounded like a good idea 70
little Bennie so l SID: That's
right. Jobbo, jump right out and
don't let him get away"
Jobbo was having some waves of
thought and the Wild waves were
whispering: "Jobbo, go easy, me
lad: you're young and got a bright
future
So Jobbo said: not so fast. one
at q time" Tmen he put one foot
on our runnn' board and says TO
the bird who was stuck in the
ditch: Where you goin'?"
Then Jobbo jumped gingerly back
inside our roadster and waited for
the bullets to sing Thantopsls. When
there wasn't any music in 40. Job
DO got brave and got OFT on the
ground and as soon as Kelly and
me learnt that there wasn't but one
occupant of the Fliv in the ditch,
our natural courage reasserted itself
and we got out and got as hard
nosed as an old regular army SER
geant talkin' TO a rookie private.
We took the birds Incense num-
Der and give him a good bawlin'
out and let him go on his promise
10 send us ten bucks for repairs.
He told us he was Perfectly So
Der but If his breath had been any
stronger. Jobbo would have soon
had the hickcoffs.
Moral--Keep on your own side of
the road.
Moral 1.-The ratio OF TO 1 is
fine mathematics in a fight.