Mohave County miner and our mineral wealth., 1921-05-06

' my Htdu.
 "Old Doolittle has been married long time, and he's got so used to be- ing bossed by his wife that he doesn't know what to do when she isn't around. If you offered to lend him $5 he'd say he'd have to consult Eliza Jane about 1t. One time, when his wife was away, visiting, he ate about Q peck of green cucumbers, and the collie shut him up like a folding bed. It was the worst case ever saw. I heard him yelling for the police, and when rushed over there and saw him on the floor, with his feet clasped across the back of his neck, phOned for a doctor at once. We put him to bed, and the agony that man endured was sickening. And as he rolled around there, expecting to go off the hooks every minute, he kept saying, What will Eliza Jane say when she hears I called in a doctorT
 "After his wife came back, was over at their house one night, and she roasted me to a crisp for sending for a doctor. She said that if had the first instincts of a gentleman I'd pay the bill, for wasn't authorized to call in a sawbones, and she didn't want one in the house. Doollttle sat there and heard his wife roasting me until my whiskers curled and, although he knew the doctor saved his life, he never said c word. /.
 "After left the house, he sneaked out and overlook me, and told me he was sorry for what had happened. but experience had taught him that it's no use to butt in when his wife has the floor.
 "Gooseworthy came over this morn- ing while I was feeding the COWS, and told mo a tale of woe. His. wife has about Ave hundred female relations, aunts and stepsisters and cousins and such people. and she keeps the house full of them all the time. He has to sleep on c sanitary couch in the hall. while his own feather bed is occupied by an aunt who weighs about 400 pounds. He has a comfortable rocking chair he bought for his own private use. and now he never gets a whack ct 1t. His wife's step-sister. who brought her tortoise-shell cat along, is always using 1t. He said he was get ting plumb disgusted with such c con- dition of affairs, but he didn't know what to do. ii
 
 'T asked him why he didn't read the authorized version of the riot act to his wife, and tell her to ship all those rel ics out of the house. He seemed shocked at the suggestion. You don't know what you're talking about he said. You've never bsen married.'
 "The queer thing about 1t is that Gooseworthy is great stickler for his rights when he's away from home. He's as sassy as a bobcat, and will fight at the drop of the hat if anybody tries to impose on him. He walks with his head back and his chest out in front of him, but as soon as he reaches his own front gate he begins to look so blamed abject that the neighbors pity him.
 "Then. there's old Major Sendoff, who distinguished himself on many crimson battlefield. He has courage enough for three regiments. But he married the Widow Bunkum a couple of years ago and she makes him do the family washing, and hang the clothes on the line, and suppose he does the ironing, too, I could tell you of a hundred such cases"
 q suppose you could," sighed the professor, "but don't care for sensa- tional fiction"