South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-06

II
read the newspaper criticisms and
the Jokes in the weekIies about the
Rialto and the chorus girls and the
long haired treagedians And I sup
pose that a condensed list OF your
ideas about the mysterious stage
land would boil down 20 something
Ike this:
Leading ladies have FIVE husbands.
paste diamonds. and figures no better
than your own (madam) IL they
weren't padded. Chorus girls are in
separablc from peroxide. Panhards
and Pittsburg. All shows walk back
90 New York on tan ozfords and
railroad ties. irreproachable ac-
tresses reserve the comic-landlady
part for their mothers on Broadway
and their step-aunts on the road.
Kyrle Bellows real name is Boyle
O'Kclley. The rawlings Of John Nc
Cullough in tho photograph were
stolen from the first sale Of Ellen
Terry memoirs Joe Weber is fun
nicr than r. II. Sothern; but Henry
Miller is getting older than he was.
All theatrical people on leaving the
thcater at night drink champagne
and eat Holsters until noon the next
day. After all. the moving pictures
have got the whole bunch pounded
20 a pulp.
Now. few Of us know the real life
OF the stage people. If we did. the
profession might be more over
crowded than it is We look askance
At the players with an eye full Of
patronizing superiority-and we go
home and practice all sorts Of elocu-
ton and gestures in front OF our
looking glasses
Latterly there has been much talk
OF the actor people in a new light. II
seems 10 have been divulged that in
stead Of being motoring bacchanal-
fans and diamOnd-hungry loreleis
they are businesslike folk. students
and ascotics with children and homes
and Libraries. owning real estate. and
conducting their private affairs in as
orderly and unsensational a manner
as any Of us good citizens who are
bound to the chariot wheels Of the
gas. rent. coal. ice, and wardmen.
Whether the old or the new re-
port Of the sOCk-and- buskiners be
the true one is a surmise that has no
place here. I offer you merely this
little story OF two strOllers; and for
proof Of its truth / can show you
only the dark patch above the cast
iron handle OF the stage-entrance
door OF Keetor's old vaudeville thea
ter made there by the petulant push
Of glOved hands too impatient to
finger the clumsy mb-latch-and
where / last saw Cherry whisking
through like a swallow into her nest
on time 10 the minute, as usual. to
dress for her act.
The vaudeville team Of Hart &
Cherry was an inspiration. Bob Hart
had been roaming through the east
crn and western circuits for four
years with a mixed-up act compris-
ing a monolOgue. three lightning
changes with songs. couple OF imi-
tations OF celebrated imitators a~d "a
buck -and-wing dance that
drawn a glace Of approval f~or Ir
bass-viol player in more than one
hOuse-than which no performer
ever received more satisfactory evil
dence OF good work
have is to witness the pitiful per-
formance with which all other ac-
tors desecrate the stage. In order 10
give himself this pleasure he will
often forsake the sunniest Broadway
corner between oath and 44th TO at
tend "A matinee offering by his less
gifted brothers. Once during the
lifetime of minstrel joke one comes
TO scof and remains to go through
with that most difficult of Thespian
muscles-the audible contract of the
palm OF one hand against the palm
OF the other.
one afternoon Bob Hart presented
his solvent. serious, well-known
vaudevillian face at the box office
window Of "a rival attraction and got
his d. h. coupon for an orchestra
seat
\. r. G., and d glowered success
sively on the announcement 81 aces
and passed into oblivion. each plung-
Ing Mr. Hart deeper into gloom.
other~ OF the audience shrieked,
squirmed. whistled and applauded.
Dut bob Hart. All the Mustard and
Whole show in Himself" sat with
his face as long and his hands as far
apart as a boy holding a hank OF
warm for his grandmother 20 wind
into a ball.
But when the II come on. THE
Mustard" suddenly sat up straight.
II was the happy alphabetical prog
uosticator OF Winona Cherry. in
Character Songs and representations.
There were scarcely more than two
bites 70 Cherry; but she delivered
the merchandise tied with a pink
cord and charged TO the old mans
account The first showed YOU a de-
iiciously dewy and ginghamy country
girl with a basket of property daisies
who informed you ingeniously that
there were other things 10 be learned
at the old log school house besides
Cipher.n and nouns. especially
When the Teacher Kept Me In"
Vanishing. with a quick flirt OF gin
ham apron strings. she reappeared in
considerably less than a "trice' as a
funny "Parisienne"-so near does Art
bring the old red mill 10 the Moulin
Rouge. And then
But YOU know the rest And so
did Bob Hart; but he saw somebody
else. He thought he saw that Cherry
was the only professional on the
short order stage that he had seen
who seemed exactly 10 fit the part OF
Helen Grimes in the sketch he had
written and kept tucked away in the
tray OF his trunk. OF course Bob
Hart, as we'll as every other normal
actor. grocer, newspaperman. profes-
sor. curb broker and farmer. has a
play tucked away somewhere. They
tuck 'em IN trays OF trunks trunks