The Chesterfield advertiser. [volume] (Chesterfield C.H., S.C.) 1884-1978, 1921-08-25
- oENUiNE
BUEiDURHAM
TosxeCo
o.

back and sayB smart-hke: Sci, down
thar. Ho$shS.' says Eb-'you're drunk,
and you don't know the difference a.
tween temp'rary and perhanentp r 49,.
"Well, they knowed Eb had II q.
comm to him right then. and they lis
tened TO- 1t. Hossfiy, he addresses the
whole meetin'. and this here Is what
<Iiossay says:
"Feller citizens says he, 'Eb
Wright thar lows don't know the DIFF
ference atween temp'rary and perma.
nent I'll prove to you that do know
the difference. Eb Wright says I'm
drunk. Il am. That's temp'rary. Eb
Wright is poke-nosed idjit. That's
permanentp"
Heck finished with q lazy laugh
"Hnw. haw. hawI Hee-haw, hee-haw +"
THAT story" Dale said wearily.
has been told on dozens Of politicians
1t has become part Of the history Of
this state"
swell. my gosh |" moaned By Heck.
He thought deeply for q moment de-
cided that Bill Dale wouldn't laugh at
the story Of Tom Jones' pig-which
had drank all Of gallon pail of but
ter,nllk and then gone to sleep In the
seif-same pail-and went en-:
Here's one, by Jake, at ain't been
told on dozens O. politics men. And
every word Of II Is the solemn. dyin
death-bed truth. too.
"One time was out In the noun.
tains a-huntin'. a-goin' along slow and
a-lookin' 10 squirrel. when all of a
suddent ! hears skeery noise right
ahead O. me In the Iaurels-Z-z-z-z-zt
Z-z-z-z-zi Jest like that l stops.
'slops de-e-ad still. ! looks keen. Thar
was den O. rattlers. and the very
least one was as big around as my left
hind laigI Then l hears q turribls
growl right ahind O. me. looks keen.
Thar stands big old she-bear with
her teeth a-showin. and two cross
eyed cubs Thep hears whine at
my left. l looks keen. Thar stands q
she-panther as big as q Asss, with her
eyes Jest a-blazin'l Then / hears q
spittin' sound out to my right. looks
keen. Thar was seven full-grown Wild
cats, and all Of 'em had been bit by q
mad dawgI Some fix to be in2 Yeuh;
some fixI
well. l thinks to myself. Ef I
shoots the rattlers, I thinks to myself,
the bear and the panther and the Wild
cats'n git me. And ef shoots the
bear. the. panther and the wildcats
and the rattlers'll git me. And ef
shoots the panther, the wildcats and
the rattlers and the bear'n git me.
And eff l shoots the wildcats. the rat
tiers and the bear and the panthern
git me. And ef don't shoot none of
'em. they'll all git mel Some ongodly
fix wasn't 1t, Bill3 Now, how do 70
reckon I got out Of it7"
Bill Dale only smiled. Il can't I'm
agine, By" he said.
Il CANT imagine. neither" grinned
Heck. "But anyhow, I'm alive today.
Well, now that ye're In q good humor
one time more, Til tell ye some news.
l hated to ruffie Sc up like a yaller
goose a-fyin' back'ards whilst ye was
80 cussed. DANCED blue. Bill, old boy,
1t amt but five days ontel ohristmaG.
A lot O. them Nawth CaIiner Turner's
from Turner's Laurel Ia a-visitin' their
kinfolks, the Balls, and they'll every
dadslatted one Of 'em git drunk on
white lightnin' ticker TO Christmas,
and-they'n shore think O. Black
Adam. The Morelands amt with ys
no more, Bill. rickollect; only the Lit.
tlefords II here now."
Bill Dale rose and stood there star
Ing at BY Heck with eyes SO bright
that they 'sparkled.
III they came down on us looking for
trouble, I'd be sort of clan chief,
wouldn't II" he asked. Without watt
Ing for an answer: II wouldn't mind
that, y'know. I've got q letter here,
BY, that want you to put aboard the
next southbound train that passes the
Halfway switch. You've got about an
hour; can you make it7
EFF the world was made In six days,
by God, 1t shorely looks like BY Heck
could make six miles In q hour, dent
it?"
The tall hillman left the Moreland
Coal lscompany's office with the letter In
one hand, bis rife In the other, and
tears Of Joy In his eyes.
For Bill Dale had laughed, actually
laughed.
BY Back Rnt the letter on the train.
The train carried 1t to Bill Dale's home
city, and the postman carried II to the
stately mansion Of Old Coal King John
K. Dale, and black Isham, the servant,
carried 1t to Miss Elizabeth Littleford.
Miss Elizabeth Littleferd was sitting
alone on an iron settee among bushes
of lilac and cape jessamine the wealth
er had made another Of It's remarkably
sudden changes. and the day was sumo
ny and pleasant She was about to
tear open the envelope when the tall,
straight figure Of Jimmy Fayne ap-
peared before her. He had on riding
clothes. and there was a rawhide quirt
In his hand.
"You scared me, Jimmyr laughed
Miss Elizabeth. q trifle nervously. II
didn't. know you were anywhere
aroundp
beg pardon" Jispmy smiled. MAY
! sit down beside you4"