davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1921-05-05
Relaxation.

"Do you believe the story about
George Washington and the cherry
tree?"
II hadn't thought about it," replied
Senator Sorghum, shut I'm willing to
get into the argument IL It'll help to
take my mind of the league Ques-
dons."
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1921-05-05
An Imauist.

An Imaplst
First Authority mother always
thought I would be a remarkable
man.
Second Authorize wonder you have
so much imagination. You inherited
it!-Judge.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1921-05-05
A Fast NIGHT Life.

"Why did your new hired man quitf'
"He wanted to try city life," said
Mr.. Cobbles.
where did he go?"
"Over to Chiggersville. That town
has two movie palaces and dance hall
now. It's just about the metropolis OF
this country"
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1921-05-05

cause Of the strong and 'insistent
demand on the part Of the people
for better schools. There is no
reason why the next scholastic
year should not be more far reach
ing in its effects than has the
present year. Everywhere stan
dards are being raised. additional
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1921-05-05
His Demonstration.

Smith-Well, Jones, / feel pretty
proud Of myself. I've kept three doc
tors away today.
Jones-How? Christian Sciencef
Smith-Nope; by apples
Jones-How so?
Smith-Why, they say an apple
day keeps the doctor away, and there's
my third core
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1921-05-05
MALE HELP WANTED

Get busy. Keep busy. Is your
job unsafe! Is it permanent :?
You want \ life long business.
You can get into such 3 business
selling more than 1; Watkins
Products direct to farmers if you
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1921-05-05
Some Relief.

F1atbush-So you threw your alarm
clock out Of the window at hcwling
cat last night, did you?
Bensonhurst--I certainly did.
"Why. say, you wouldn't hit cat
In thousand yearsl"
II know It; but felt very certain
that would get rid Of one Of the nuts.
ances, anyway
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1921-05-05
In Fact. snanpv Stories.

In Fact, Snappy Stories.
Wrghtman-Well, I've just signed
q contract with the editor of Pudley's
Magazine.
His Wife-Selling stories?
"Er-yes; I'm to think up excuses
for the editor so that he can stay out
late at night"
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1921-05-05
"A PROSPEROUS SCHOOL
YEAR

w. F. Bond, State Superintend-
ent Of Education, after getting
considerable first-hand informaS
ton from the various sections Of
the state and compiling reports
from the several counties and sep
arate school districts am HIT
the school year just eloslnG
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1921-05-05
Practice Makes Perfect.

FTdctIce Makes PeFTeCG
"What crime did you commit to be
in heref" inquired the prison visitor.
Il guess 1t must have been because
I attended too many weddings"
II seel You stole the gifts or drank
too much champagne?"
mo. 1t was just because I was al
ways the bridegroom" answered the
arch bigamist
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1921-05-05
Organized TO Do II.

Organized to Do Il.
Balfour-What is the nearest at
tempt woman has ever made to keep
ing a secret?
Benjamin oh. / heard once they
formed secret society somewhere for
the swapping Of secrets.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1921-05-05
Too Difficult for Hin

Too Difficult for Him.
Suppose Job had had some Of our
modern Affections"
Yes, and suppose Solomon had to
give judgment as umpire in base
ball game"
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1921-05-05
interest Secure.

II don't believe Josh is interested
In the dear old home," remarked
Farmer Corntossel sadly.
YES, he Is" replied Josh's mother,
"and he's goin' to keep on bein' inter-
ested regardless Of pleasures and pal
aces. 80 long as the old home is the
only place where three meals per day
are absolutely reliable"
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1921-05-05
The snortinn Instinct

Inc Sporting instinct.
The waiter In q railway buffet came
to the table where a passenger was
seated.
Tea or coffee, sir?" he asked.
aDOn't tell me-" begged the passen-
ger. earnestly, ''don't tell me, just let
me guess"
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1921-05-05

own auto or team or can get one;
if you are under SO and can give
bond with personal sureties. We
back you with big selling helps, So
years in business. 1000, 900 users
of our products. Write for in
formation where you can get ter
ritory.
J.. r. WATKINS CO.,
Department 112, Winona, MINI.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1921-05-05
A safe Bet,

II guess they'll marry all right. she
Il his first love-"
aThat doesn't make 1t sure"
sWell, he is her last chance"
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1921-05-05
THE BATTLES ON

THE BATTLES ON
Jack: Sayl Waddayuh doln'
With 4 tromhonef Gonna take les
jlIi: Nopsl am buyIn' this
trombone Tn sslf-defense.
Jack: A trombone In self-defensef
jill: Yeab Yuh see tho nelphbors
IN the next apartment to us have Just
Bought player plano.
Color Not Important.
Wed be . blonde or deep brunette:
We really don't care which.
% long as we're not sick abed.
And reasonably rich.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1921-05-05
Not Answering

Not Answering.
Sandy was fishing, and Donald, who
was passing, asked: "How are the
fish today, SandyT
II dinna ken," answered Sandy. II
dropped them line, but so far I've
nae reply."-Tit-B Bits.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1921-05-05
Sirne 81 pec,v.

Blk Noodle says he is the last
scion q an ancient but decayed fam
NJ.
Dix That's probably why every.
thing he says Is such awful rot.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1921-05-05

sJaek's the most bashful man
ever cav. He never tried to kiss me
once when he called last week."
"Thats not bashfulness. That's
fear. told him you'd push mans
face In u they'd try anything like
thate
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1921-05-05
Takina a Sporting Chance.

dktHU SpoftIH0 VHdHCe.
1--WE are going at a frightful rate Of
speed, conductor"
"Only 60 miles an hour, ma'am."
Slut isn't that too fast for safety"
'It depends on the point of view,
ma'am. II we don't get to Hawkins
Junction before the limited does, we
won't get there at ALL"
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1921-05-05

ma, teachers awful mean"
Hush, my son, you mustn't say
that" ass ~
well, she Is! What do you thinkl
She borrowed my knife to sharpen a
pencil to give me a bad mark
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1921-05-05

SNiat hit mer'
"A motorcycle"
Impossible. counted four wlieels."
sIt ran over you twice.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1921-05-05
Two Hunters.

Heiress-That Mr.. Hunter was very
inquisitive. He asked me the amount
Of my fortunei"
New Suitor-The impertinent fell
low! And what did you tell him It
VAST
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1921-05-05
! ]()l>1[>
Sf1II. E:HS
~ -.

Spelling Her Day Dreams.
"Your new stenographer has far
away look In her eyes,"
$50 she has," said Mr.. Dubwaite,
"Tll have to do something about it"
"What, for instance?"
IF she doesn't wake up In a day
or two I'm going to tell her, kindly but
firmly, that SO far as know her job
is not stepping stone to matrimony
or the MOVIES"
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1921-05-05

Heck Have you decided what vou
are going to call the baby. old manf
Peck-Tes; I'm going to cali him
thAtever nv wife names him.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1921-05-05
Delay Appreciated.

Delay Appreciated.
Mrs. Klack-Really, I am ashamed
OF myself for not calling before, but
Il put it of until 1t seemed as if I
should never call.
Mrs. KnOx-Oh, pray, don't mention
It Very kind Of you, Tn sure.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1921-05-05

THE STYLE
Mothers Heavens daughter, your
skirts should at least reach your shoe
tops.
Daughter: Well mother they are
not making the shoes that high.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1921-05-05
Applause.

Applause.
"You don't attach much Importance
to the applause an orator receives"
"Not much" admitted Senator Sor-
ghum. There is bound to be ap-
plause. You can't expect an audience
to sit still all evening and do abso-
lutely nothing"
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1921-05-05

Automobile Salesman-Want your
monogram or initials on the car?
Buyer (smilingly) As my name
happens to be Isaac O. Uxbridge, bet.
ter make It the mo4ogram.
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1921-05-05

The lmpecunlous Lover.
I fear that mercenary Is
The lovely girl court,
For though I've loved that maiden long,
She shuns me cause I'm short
The Brandon news. (Brandon, Miss.) 1892-1961, 1921-05-05
The Ample Of His Eve,

The Apple Of His Eye.
A peach came walking down the street;
She was more than passing fair;
4 smile. a nod, a half-closed eye.
And the peach became pair.
Cornell Widow.
The McCarthy weekly news., 1921-12-24

Commencing at Cor. No l, Green Hill Mills;te, U. s. M Mineral Sur vey No. 109S-B. whence IT. s. M M. No. 28 bears s. 670 22' 22" E.. 193O.22 it., and Cor. No. 1, Green Con tact ode Mining Claim. Y. s. Min. eral Survey No. 1098 "A, identical with Cor. No.1, Green Ore Lode Min ing Claim, (T.S.Mineral Survey No. 109S-A. bears s. 730 IT. 10" E., 179!..o6 it.; thence s. 750 3O' ". 364.41 it. to Cor. No. ?, Identical with Cor. no. 4, Green Mountain Mlllsite, this survey; thence N. 70 6 E. 5o3. 42 1t. to Corner no. 3; thence N 750 30' E. 36441 ft. to Cor. no. f; thence S. 70 6 w. 583.42 ft. to Cor. No. 1, identical with Cor. no. l, Green Mountain Millsite, this survey and the place of beginning. Total area claimed: 4.53S acres.
 The name of the claimant to said lode mining claims and mill sites is the GREEN BUTTE COPPER COMPANY, a corDor- atiOn; the number of the survey is U. $. Mineral Survey No 1903. A & B, Juneau Lend District; all of said lode mining claims and mill sites are located in the Chit ina Recording and Mining Dis rict, Mccarthy Recording Pre- rinct, Territory of Ala>ka, in aD- proximately Latitude 610 31' 90" N., and Longitude 1420 49' w., and on the east side of McCar- thy Creek. about eleven miles from it's junction with the kenn- ecott River, Alaska.
 Any and all persons claiming adver- sely any of the above described lode mining claims or millsites, or any DOT ton thereof, are required to file their adverse claims with the Register of the United States Land office at Juneau: Alaska, within the period of publica- ton or eight months thereafter or they will be barred by the provisions of the statute.
 Dated at Juneau, Alaska,
 this 18th. day of November, 1921.
 Frank A Boyle
 Register , Date of first publication, Dec. 10th. 21. Date of last publication, Feb. II, 1922
The McCarthy weekly news., 1921-12-24
R. L. H. Marshall

Bluff Lode Mining Claim, U. S.Mineral Su1vey No. 1O98-A, bears S. 210 31 13" E. 16416 it.; thence s. So IF E., 600ft., to Corner No. ,; thence s. 730 3O' w., 364.3 it. to Corner No. 8, identical with Corner No. ,, Green Fish Millsite, this survey; thence N. g. II. W. 6UO 1t. 10 Corner Mo- 1, ident- ical with Cor. Nol, Green Fish Mill site this survey; thence N. 750 3O E. 3G4.3 1t. to Cor. No.l, and the place of beginning. Total area claimed: 1887 acres.
 Commencing at Cor. Mo- ], Green Fish Mlllsite, U. s. Mineral Survey No. iO9o-B, whence U. s. M. M. No. 2o bears s. o60 43' II" F., 1879 it., and C No. 1, Green I'issure Lode Mining Claim, US. Mineral Survey No l09o-A, bears s. ol l9' 7" E., 1976.97 ft., thence s. & IT E., eco it to Cor. Nc. ,, identical with Cor. No 3 Green Butte Millsite, this survey; thence s. 750 30' w. 364.4 1t. to Cor. NO. 3; thence N. 70 AS 20" l w., 60045 it. to Cor. No. i; thence N 750 3O' E. 36O.4 1t to Cor. No. l, identical with Cor NO. i, Green Butte Millste; this survey and the place of beginning. Total area claimed: i .96l acres
 Commencing at Cor. No. 1, Green Mountain Millsite, US. Mineral Sur vey No. 1098-B, whence U. S. M. M. No. 20 bears 5. 670 32' p" F. 193O22 it., and Cor. No. l, Green Contact Lode Mining Claim, U. s. Mineral Survey No. l098- -A,identicsl with Cor, No. 1, Green Ore Lode Mining Claim, U. s. Mineral Survey No. 1O98-A, bears s. 730 IT. 10" E. 1799.96 it.; thence S % 36' E. 588.97 it. to Cor. No 2; thence s. 750 3O' w., 364.41 it to Cor. No. 8; thence N. % 36' w., 588 97 it. to Cor. No. i, identical with Cor. No 2, Green Hill Millsite, this survey; thence N. 750 3O' E. 364.41 it. to Cor. No. 1, identical with Cor. No. 1, Green Hill Mlllsite, this survey, and the place of beginning. Total area claimed: 4. .9O9 acres.
Evening star., 1921-07-17
The Wooden Indian.

THE wooden Indian is nearly ex-
tinct. Time was when a tobacco.
mist did not hope to sell goods with
out a wooden Indian as an assistant.
Usually the savage held a packet of
cigars or a bundle of tobacco in one
hand and a tomahawk in the other.
His attitude was half inviting and
half threatening. A cigar store
could not do business without q
wooden Indian any more than a bar
ber shop could. or can. get along
without its spirslly striped red and
white pole, or drug store without
its red and green lights. Many stores
now seem to eely on big red borders
around the show, window. and it was
not many years ago that this fashion
came In. ~
The wooden Indian was all right. So
far as known he never drank whis-
XIV, or smoked his own tobacco and
massacred people with his tomahawk.
He was faithful to his post. But, as
the flesh and blood Indian Is passing
from the plains. the mountains and
the forest, 80 has the wooden Indian
been crowded ofLrthe sidewalk. He
survives only where q few tobacco
nists are reverefit' toward the traAhr
tions Of their trade.
Evening star., 1921-07-17
133 AT 3
A PRIZE FIGHT AND A PRIZE GIRL.
: BY Gerald Beaumont.

from the Big Town: both were
young, and both had known the
favor Of tho public.
It was jackie who pointed out still
another thing in common.
You needn't think you were the
only one who didn't dare eat a
square meal. Harlem. 4 girl who
can't make q hundred and twenty-six
ringaide gets no job at Rainey's or
any other place. Nobody likes their
iiappers fat"
body calling vow = n.pper: III knock
ought to scale one hundred and
thirty-three. I'm fitting the bar at
hundred and forty now. and Doc
Gays I'll do better than that when I
get Gown from this altitude. Good
bye lightweight title!' He sighed
comfortably. us for the cow-ranch,
en-. Kiddo?"
Jackie smiled and said nothing.
|. The quiet summer slipped away.
The Awakening was brutally sud.
den. Potter discovered that he had
an even hundred dollars left to his
credit, that an exceedingly modest
cattle ranch would cost him about
thirty thousand dollars and that she
sy's under weight. because she was
discovery to make all In one day. He
hunted up Wismer and demanded
tho truth about the girl. The physi.
clan was unprofesslona frank.
"The cafe life In New York will
kill her. She needs another year at
San Rosario. and II owned the
place or had the money, I'd stake her
Evening star., 1921-07-17

curve ball that amt fast or it amt
Slow. its just mediokum."
HT IsTEN." says my friend. they
use to SAY that Connie Mack
had intricate. signs that it took smart
ball pfayerssfo learn them. Well, you
ought to try. and learn the signs We
are useing. For inst, say the other
club has got men on second and third
base and it's a close game and them
best hitter is up and we don't want 10
take a chance on him.
well. Bill sets there on the bench
and yells at the pitcher and finely the
pitcher looks and Bill holds up four
fingers. This means he wants the
pitcher to give the man four balls.
Then Bill points TO first base. That
is to show the pitcher that ii is first
base and not third base that he wants
the man passed to. Then the pitcher
is as libel as not to stick one right in
the groove and the star batter knocks
It cockeyed and we lose. the ball game
and Bill asks the pitcher what was
the matter and the pitcher is libel to
say he thought Bill only held up three
fingers. meaning to try and strike the
guy out.
Listen" says my friend, you think
Schalk and KillIfer and them babies
Is brainy catchers and they are sup
pose to outguess the batter and etc.
Well, our catchers has TO outguess the
pitchers, too. Like for inst. take
Schalk. If he signs for curve ball.
why he can get ready te catch a curve
ball But If one of our catchers signs
for a curve ball and the pitcher says
Evening star., 1921-07-17

ular weekly card was in order. He
managed to locate McCarl Just In
time. The matchmaker was making q
frantic eleventh-hour search for q
substitute to go on with Knockout
DALEY in the ssrtii-windup.J
r. X Il
NEccARL regarded the Kid dubious
A'A ly. You're too light; Dailey's
got in on you by fifteen pounds"
Never mind" Potter responded.
1--WE been living on doughnuts for
three days. Stake me to a meal
around the corner and I'll come Jack
and show you something"
But when he climbed into the ring,
an hour later, in borrowed tights and
shoes, he experienced curious sense
of distaste for his surroundings.
He might have lost the night right
there mad not q big man at the ring
side suddenly climbed into his cor
ner with Q yell ana encircleo nin1
with an affectionate hug. It was Ab.
dul the Turk, wild with delight and
looking like q million dollars. The
giant ripped of his coat anu collar
and rolled up his siesxe.. =. .no,,.d
Look out, boys, he Is all mine. What
you, say, Keed. Just like old times!
We keel heem together. ah?"
The Hanlem Kid brought in the
bacon in the second, round with the
old "one.tw to the jaw. He went
home with Abdul after signing up for
three more hghts at catchweights and
q guarantee that assured certain
Evening star., 1921-07-17

fighter can spare the pound Of flesh.
never the legs nor the shoulders:
Finally he sat down on the bed ana
swore discohsolately. There was
no excess fat on Potter's body;
what you weigh now, Keed?"
"Forty:two, I guess"
Dam! I take Ave pound of by
sweat! I dry out three more, but
how I AXE heem other poundT
That's for you to dope out. II
Griffin can get the weight hour at
three o'clock and the fight at ten'
I'll sign"
He left Abdul still muttering:
"Where / get heem the last pound? 2
The next day the Harlem Kid
held long conference with Fat
Griffin which ended in his telling
the vetran manager the whole story
And it was on the advice of Griffin
who knew a lot about the tempera-
ment of, fighters, that the Kid wrote
to Jackie, and with a single exception
told sher the truth, He said nothing
about the weight. but told her that
! the title match would surely give
! them their needed stake, and that
she could figure on the ranch right
/ now. :,
! II amt got any rich uncle. Sis. y
he concluded. land l couldn't sell a
glass of water in the desert: All
can do is fight. and / promise ] won't
do it any more il I can just make this
one cleanup SO we can grab that
Evening star., 1921-07-17
A Famous Tree.

A.DEAD giant of a tree stands in
"A the grounds of the United States
General Military Hospital at Wash
ington-Walter Reed Hospital. The
great branches of this tree have been
sawed off-amputated might be the
better word, bearing in mind the
place where the tree stands-so that
only the trunk and the butts of the
big branches remain. 1t was a gaunt,
dead tree when the hospital was es-
tablished. 1t was yellow poplar,
and died a good many years ago from
are and neglect. It was stripped OF
its bark long ago. and its bare wood
:. weathered to an ashen gray.
There is q tablet on the trunk OF
this tree which bears this legend:
.TJsed as a signal station by Con-
federate soldiers under Gen. Early
during the attack on Washington,
Julv II and IL, 1854. Also occupied
by sharpshooters."
When Gen. Jubal Early and his
Confederate division won the battle
of Monocacy and came down on
washington by marching twenty
n,,s, n day, and skirmishing q good
nart Of the time, he drew up on the
sf.arnoon OF July II at some distance
from the north line Of earth forts
and rifle trenches which had been
constructed al around "a. washington WAS
This tree stood in an open field
about 1000 yards in front Of Fort
Stsvens. on the rampant of which
President Lincoln stood during q part
Of the fghttng, having driven out to
In a cottage at the. Soldiers Home.
ahout two miles neafer the city. The
trse grew in land lower than the land
sround it. but from among It's
branches men could a,,imx ,Gok oS Ss,Ss S that at
stretched away to the parapets and
bitches Of Fort Stevens.
When Gen. Early's skirmishers and
Evening star., 1921-07-17
Value of Sundial.

mn many q rich mans garden q sun
+ dial tells the time. though nobody
looks or listens. 1t IL probable that
the sundial never gave any informa-
tion that could not have been obtain
ed more quickly in other ways. Tho
sundial fulfills function in q mans
garden. but that. function is not to
tell the time. It is often Of no beauty
and always Of no utility. but there
Is a cult in old things or In new
things that are fashioned after<old
things. and q man likes oset up q
sundial on his lawn as he will set up
old Ar1nor in his hall.
No word should be spoken against
old things just because they are old.
Tor in excellence and elegance many
old things surpass the newest things.
and that a thing survives the years
IL in q way testimony Of its worth.
though also in a way 1t may be tes-
timony Of it's worthlessness. There
lis sometimes a flavor about old
things which new things lack, sort
OF an odor Of boxwood and lavender
instead Of varnish. fresh paint and
wet plaster. Sometimes the odor OF
old things is musty and more sug-
gestive Of moths. worms and decay
than Of boxwood and lavender.
The sundial is nothing like 50 efi-
cient as q watch. It never was very
much of an aid to man as Q time
Indicator. It never professed to do
more than tell the time Of day. be-
cause it could not tell the time of
night. and on old sundisis' as well
often in Latin: IT mark none but
sunny hours" So that on foggy days,
or on days Of gloom and cloudy skies,
the "gnomon." which IL that triangu-
lar piece whose shadow points out
the time on the dial. casts no shadow.
den ornament in the sunny parts of
Europe in the fifteenth century.
There were older time recorders.
There were hour glasses, candles
that marked the time by their burn
ing. lamps that indicated the hours
the water clock, which was the most
reliable Of all these time-recording
devices. When .the sundials came into
vogue they were bought by rich men
who could well AFFORD to have a clock,
the cost Of which was less than the
peasant who could not afford a clock
did not need a sundial, because he
could tell time. or nearly tell the
time, by looking 1T the sun or by the
slant OF his own shadow.
The south Of Europe fashion of the
sundial spread to England with the
fashion Of the formal or italian gar
den, and when English, Irish and
Scotch gentry lied to the colonies! or
.ihnply emigrated to the colonies, they
took with them the idea that q gar-
den was not q garden without q
sundial, any more than 1t could be
ii rarden without q box hedge, q
border Of jonquils. some arbor vitae
trees. . gravel walk and . rustic
Ia the older settlement portions Of
Maryland and Virginia and including
the District Of Columbia 1t is not un-
usual to Ind these sundials, or the
"stump" or base on which the dial
rested, In the gardens Of old homes.
Yet Il Is q fair assumption that ON
every place where there was q sun.
(diai q clock run by wheels and
weights ticked away in the manor
house, or in the mansion house, and
that every land owner who could AZ
ford TO have Q sundia1 In his garden
carxiaA Z gold watch or silver watch
IN the fob pocket Of his 'smasll
clothes"