The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-04-03
ANDREW AND IMOGENE
By ROE TUhKERsoN

My! Isn't she handsomen' exclaimed lmogene. They were in the cafe and a beautiful woman had just come into the room. Imogene watched her till she took her seat and there was general stir among the after-theatre patrons who were seated at the tables, for others evil dently agreed with Imogene's estimate of i the newcomer.
 Quite classy dame said Andrew, reaching for another olive. T would give anything if were as handsome as she'' sighed Imogene
 Listen to me a minute, chicken" said Andrew affectionately.
 To me you are the very best looking thing that ever wore a silk sock Helen ot Troy. Hebe, Venus, Lillian Russell and al lthat outfit haven't as much as gnat's eyebrowHtn you for looks What else matters?
 Do you think it would add anything to your happiness mine if every guy Tn this pie foundry rubbered at you when you come in9
 If you were one of the sort that made the fellows turn around on the street and look back at you, do you think I would be any happier for it?
 Isn't it more likely that if you were woman with the reputation that the lady who has just sat down must have, you would begin to dress and act to please the gallery?
 If you devoted your time to p.easing the sightseers in this place. do you sup pose you would have so much time to please me?
 Do you think if you switched your at tention to pleasing the people at the other tables, and if we were the exposure of all that outfit haven't as much as \, fur as we are having now?
 Do you imagine a morkev in a FOO who is stared at by everybody is as happy as that same monkey would be swinging by his tail in the jungle and gaining the admiration of his own family only?
 Every woman on earth is the best Joking and the sweetest woman on earth to one man.
 If she spends her time Keeping that mar thinking just that same thing, she has accomplished all the mission she has in this world of sin and stiffness, worry and waltzing and fears and fox trots.
 To me You are the queen bee, the main squeeze, the fairest flower of the garden. and your batting average is the highest in this matrimonial league. What else matters?
 The matrimoni sketch that becomes mutual admiration society and bou- quet-throwing contest is so well satis- fled with itself that when it finishes it's frugal repast the world has dined.
 The only difference between you and Helen of Troy is that she had better press agent. Were I a poet instead of common dub, did my ability run to writing sonnets instead cf checks which the local banks will exchange for coin, then you might also be celebrated for your beauty, but I would not love you any more because others rubbered more
 When I sit at table with you I look at other women in the room only to satisfy myself how much they fall below your standard. and to sheer at and feel sorry for the poor boobs who brought 'em here, and to glory in you because you are mine. all mine"
 Under the table slippered toe pressed his foot affectionately and, looking into his eyes. she said: Andrew, you are awfully nice looking yourself, and I am proud of you, and you are awfuliy nice tonight"
 Quit your kiddin,' said Andrew, em- but pleased.