davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-29

cantered int Coffeyvflle, Kansas. an
pushed a wooden bank over an
Hoped out O. town with a money bag
full o. quarters an halves. That,
too, WIZ a daylight job, with several
citizens standin' in front Of q barber
shop. II we remember right, one o.
tn Daltons wuz shot an killed as he
stopped at tn town pump Z water
his pony. Then tn crime wave
worked east an a sensational fur
robbery wuz pulled off az Detroit by
"Blinkey' Morgan. We think tn
furs wuz stolen after dark, but it WIZ
one o. tn most DARN robberies o.
tn age an it wuz discussed fer years.
Nowadays you can't walk out { tn
mail box in tn evenin' without git
tin your head knocked off. You
don't dare { carry a watch in Cleve-
land. Ohio. If you go in a bank tn
cashier jumps behind tn vault. Jest
as soon as a store takes in SIS or
$50 somebuddy walks in an takes
il. It's got so a clerk is afraid { turn
his back [ take somethin' off tn
shelf behind him. If you want a
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-29

We kin remember some years ago
when tn whole world wuz startled
by tn news that tn James Boys gall
loped int Mortified. Minnesota, in
broad daylight an robbed a little
bank an fired Their revolvers in tn
air an tore out o. town. TIL news
o tn robbery wuZ telegraphed an
cabled all over the world an 9TH
Great Mortified Bank Robbery"
wuz played up on tn front page o.
ever newspaper in tn country. tn
details o. tn DARN robbery .wuZ
hashed an rehashed fer months an
months. TIL strong frame bank
wuz located in tn very heart o. tn
town an several people w-uz on tn
streets. Two customers wuz in a
meat shop jest across from tn bank
an Their wuz only nine o. tn DARN
bandits. TIL west wuz still wild
then. but tn brazenness an DARN o.
tn Job wuz without a parallel. Then
little later tn continent wuz al
most rocked from its foundations
when tn audacious Dalton gang
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-29
BRYANISM AND DARWINISM AND WHO
STARTED THE WAR

COL william Jennings Bryan's anu-Darwinian
quip so long among his masterpieces Of the Chau-
tauqua platform has seemingly evolved a vein of
seriousness his disbelief IN the doctrine of evou-
lion Notwithstanding II used 10 be enough for him
20 poke fun az those who 10 admit the monkey
ship OF their ancestors. claiming too profound
spect for his TO relegate them. or himself 20 any
such limbo. Recently at the Presbyterian general
assembly al Winona however. and in several other
Indiana addresses delivered by the peerless one"
during the past week ne has pursued a method
Of attack Darwin blossoms forth today tire god
father Of Nietzscheism and the backbone OF Prus-
sianisu. We are at last being informed who
started the war" he says.
"Sietszche merely carried Darwinism 10 lts
logical end when he became the leader OF
teriahsm ia Germany and gave philosophical
foundation upon which Germans bVilt their de-
Tense OF force and frightfuness."
Poor Darwin And yet 1t Is logical; the logic OF
misund erstanding-the Misunderstanding OF Darwin
both by Netzsehe and by Bryan II must have
after-thought 20 the latter however else
he would not have resigned his secretaryship In the
Wilson cabinet 10 escape appearing TO sanction
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-29
What Is 1t All about?
By William Z. Barton

live. can get the most good out of
il by putting the most Of good into
it.
There can be no doubt that this
would be a good world if we all
agreed TO be good and do good, and
then stuck TO our agreement. There
is not very much opportunity for any
one OF us TO improve the entire
world by any single effort that the
whole world can feel and attribute 10
US.
But there IS a very good chance
that any one of US can so change
his attitude toward the world as TO
get more of good out Of it than he is
now getting. and by that process
give 10 it more good than he now
is giving.
The question is too practical for
US 10 waste much time over it. Life
is in 3 hurry, and II all moves IN
one direction; there are no currents
moving backward toward the cradle.
It would be interesting TO know
the occasion Of all the shooting, but
il is worth while 10 be sure that we
get the utmost out Of the play, and
that we perform our own part IN II
worthily. We can settle the ques-
ton OF the character Of the world
by helping TO make It better.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-29
Spring Cleaning
BY BERTON BRALEY.

BY BERTON BRALEY.
housekeeping time, housecleaning
timel
The housewives are busly chasing
the CRIME;
The pictures are all taken down
from the walls,
The chairs and the tables are out in
the halls.
And upstairs or downstairs, wherever
yaI fare.
The door of suds and ammonia Is
there.
Commingled with perfume of chic
ride OF lime:
housekeeping timcI housekeeping
time!
Mother is wearing calico gown,
a towel for headdress-an4 also :
frown:
And Willie is lingering out in the
street.
Appalled, at the prospect OF rugs he
must beat,
And hoping his mother won't ask
him 10 scrub;
~ ME ArlAAAFEs AEdA AdLAArEs SL<1g5 GOWN
at the club
For only a person with patience
sublime
Can stick around home when it's
housekeeping timei
Oh. dustpans and buckets and brush
cs galore;
And niops, brooms and scrubbing
rags clutter the floor.
You eat from the manteI or of OF a
shelf.
And all that you get you must rustic
yourself.
The clOtheslines ace sagging with
blankets and such.
And mattresses All the whole yard.
pretty much.
The furniture's piled IN a sort OF a
a heap:
There's no place TO 81 and there's
no place 20 deep.
And wise people flee co some far.
foreign cline.
And stay there till after it's house
cleaning time!
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-29
MRS. SOLOMON 81 US
By Helen RO10Land
Being Confessions of Wife 7OOth
By Helen ROWLand

My daughter. upon the highway Of
Love. the foolish shall receive many
jolts: but the wise damsel shall
cherish my Proverbs and follow the
SIGNS. And, for her. the Post Road
to Matrimony shall be one long
boulevard!
Behold. a mans love blossometh
suddenly, with the first glance or
the first kiss; but a woman's love
feedeth upon reflection. SO that,
by the time her domance hath flow
cred, his hath. peradventure, be-
gun TO fade. But the foolish damsei
writeth him a pink note. and calleth
him upon the telephone. next morn
ing!
10, as sweet as a nut sundae, as
perfect as the saIad-dressing of a
French chef, so is the binatiOn
Of a moon, a pretty woman, a kiss
and a cigaret. But, if ONE OF these
be lacking, the rest are without fla
vor. For. unto a man who yearneth
for a SMOKE, a kiss is no subSti-
tute.
Joy dDmeth not when 1t is expect
ed; and when the day and the hour
have been set. and the feast pre-
pared. a good time is lacking. But,
when thou seekest not Romance,
and has no thought OF Adventure,
then shalt thou meet them at the first
corner. For fate delighteth TO play
Santa Claus. and LIES sweetest
thrills are always surprises.
AS antique as side-curls, yet more
! fascinating than ear-puffs are mod
esty and discretion in a pretty wo-
man. And gentle manners are more
| becoming than pink tulle on the
shoulder and powder on the nose
Yet, the Flapper concealeth neither
/ her knees nor her emotions; and in
/ her vampings, she is as subtitle as a
Boston terrier, and as reserved as a
motor-horn.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-29

The world has been thinking and
talking much of late about Napoleon.
The centenary OF his death has
brought afresh 10 the minds OF men
the glory and the pathOs Of his ca
reer. Unfortunately. we have had
recent cause 10 remember Waterloo.
and the events that followed: and
We have some reason 10 fear that
the mistakes OF the congress Of Vi
emma did not die with that distin-
guished body, bur have found some
measure of repetition in the confer
ence OF Versailles
Napoleon compels our admiration.
Our condemnation OF his selhshness
and his willingness 20 deluge the
world with blood Is tempered by
our genuine and permissible admira-
ton for his dominant Will, which
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-29

broom tn clerk backs Z tn rear o
tn store. Wherever theirs a car
parked with tn engine runnin' theirs
a gun man" hard by. A bandit. es-
pecially a young. irresponsible L.
year-ole bandit. II hunt tn biggest
an busiest bank in a city an git IN
line an patiently wait his turn at tn
cashiers window an then make
those behind him wait till he backs
all tn clerks an officials in . vault
an gathers up al tn light paper
money. Then he elbows his way L
his limousine an is gone like a
dream. Why. Billy tn Kid, Jack
Dalton an Jesse James wuz pikers
compared to Joe Lark's 15-year-ole
nephew that stole a truck an went
Z Louisville an lifted s250.0OG
worth o. bonded whisky an drove E
Toledo with impunity after KILN
five different constables along tn
way. Why, Tell Binkley sold his car
this mornin' cause IL cost him 50
much I travel from one town { an
other identifyin' II.
Copyright. 1920
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-29

their selfish plans TO where they be-
come a menace TO the world. There
is a man now temporarily resident in
Holland who must read with inter
est all that is being printed in Ger
man about Napoleon.
Mr.. William Hohenzollern, late OF
Germany, must be doing some prof.
table thinking these days His
tragedy is the tragedy of Napoleon,
and by this time he must know it.
But think of the heroic greatness
Of Napoleon, and the use OF that
mighty win, had it been directed to-
ward worthier ends. Between him
and his conquest Of Italy lie the
Alps.
There shall be no Alps!"
There were none for him. That
is the kind of faith that removes
mountains
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-29
"RELATIVITY."

At last we have IT, the very thing we have been
looking for ever since Prof. Enstein made Pres't
Harding his host It is furnished US by Berton
Braley, from whom we hear every now and then, in
verse. He says:
This recent Einstein theory concerning
Relatively
Is actually simple to explain;
If YOU possess the slightest geometrical
procvity
You'll quickly get the answer in your
brain.
You take line, for instance, and extend it
horizontally
Away into ininity and then
You chase it through the universe persstenty
and jauntily
And meet yourself on getting back again!
Or take a common ray of light refracted by
And bend it in the middle just a bit,
And tie it to a comet; you'll observe slight
disparity
That makes it rather difficult to fit
The tangents Of its radius revolving correlatedly
With segments of the apex of a
VIII set the larger molecules in motion
syncOpatedly
"A fact which is not generally known.
Take any kind of parallel-you needn't be
particular
And il through the orbit of a
You get a parabolic curve that's slightly
perpendicular
You mark it on the chart-and there you
aret
SO that is Relatively I'm all OF its simplicity
And thus my little dissertation ends
And now l hope that all of you may find a
felicity
BY lecturing Einstein your friends
It also explains think. why the president SC
soon following the departure Of the professor from
the white house. proceeded to appoint Col George
Harvey ambassador TO London. And we wouldn't
be surprised if the president farther and eluc
dated upon the subject TO his ambassador
Col Harvey's London speech is another explana.
ton Of "relativity'n case the Braley thesis should
prove too deep.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-29

Behold the prim damsel saith,
NO man shall kiss me-" Yet. If no
man TRYETH TO kiss her, she
counteth the day LOST. For, it is
not in being kissed, but in being
thought lSissable. that a woman's
heart delighteth.
I charge thee, my Daughter.
think not to make any man content
ed For, the Restless Sex" is not
the vamping sex, but the Rowing
Sex, which is masculine.
10. the Bachelor saith. "All mar
ried men envy me, and 1 am called
Lucky Devil! For. 1 roam wither-
soever l list, and kiss whomsoever
I please, and 1 know not the call of
the dinner hour nor the dread of
the 'time-to-go-home.' Yet, for a
permanent address. and three reg
ular meals a day, and for SOME
ONE TO meet me at the door,I would
give all my freedom and my single
blessedness!"
And the Married Man saith, "All
single men envy me. and I am called
happily mated Yea, I am settled
and well-fared and we'll cared for.
Yet for an occasional evening off,
and for a holiday, with nobody at
the other end of the telephone,
would L sometimes give all that /
possess"
And there is no peace IN them!
Verify. verify, in his infancy, Man
is a trouble TO his mother; and in
youth, he is a torment 10 many
women; and in his manhood. he is
a trial TO his wife.
Yet, life without him, would be as
a Flivver without gasoline, a dance
without music-a sail without a
breezei
He maketh It go"
Selah.
Copyright. 1920.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-29
Napoleon The Great Tragedy
By Whit Hadley

rallied vast hosts OF men. willing TO
die az his word.
There are three kinds OF people
IN this world. Most men say there
are two but there are really three.
They are the people who rave n
purpose 70 do wrong and the people
who have q purpose 70 do right,
and the people who have no purpose
at all.
The third IS the one despicab.e
class. and il is not small You can
admire a bad man who has a strong
purpose, a clear plan, and who reso-
lutely sets out 10 attain his end, far
more than you can admire an ami
able nonentity who has not person
ality enough 20 think out a plan or
will enough 10 carry II out
Napoleon was a bad man. and he
went the way Of men who carry
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-29
Make That Coy Little
Home Your Own

You need only a small down payment,
balance as rent You'll find many such
opportunities in the Houses for Sale"
columns on the Want Ad pages in today's
News lines.
But where to get the down payment
The Want Ad pages are the pages of
opportunity. There you will find col
umn Of used articles under Miscellaneous
for Sale.
Get busy. Sell what you don't want
and can't use for something you want and
need
Collect the odds and ends from room
and garrett and advertise them in Want
AID in The News Times where readers In,
search of these articles will be quick to re-
spond. This may mean that first payment
on that home of yours.
Phone Main 21OO
THE NEWS-TIMES
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-29

The bankers mean all right, in their talk of the
necessity OF extending long-term credits to foreign
ers But isn't il odd, that no one ever mentions .
similar service for American consumers?
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-29

A woman may be proud OF a high
brow husband. but it's rather hard
to be married TO a man who remem-
bers the dates Of all the battles in
history, but forgets the date OF his
wedding anniversary and never
knows when it's dinner time.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-29

Ohios governor releases a manufacturer from
prison because confinement is interfering with his
business. This shows the advantage of a life SEN
tence-no business TO worry about.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-29

Next TO being called a ounce" or
a ''prune," the thing that normal
girl hates worst is to be called in
telligent."
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-29

II the publishers of memoirs want to wear
few presses. why don't they induce some of
the women who were behind the scenes to write
their confessions?
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-29
Reflections of a
Bachelor Girl

The modern flapper appears to
know everything about love except
the vital importance of conceaIing
that fact
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-29

Now we know why the Japanese make good serv
ants. Promising 70 get OF shantung. they show
that they can't break China
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-29

tone quality individuality
ness
iooso-sana Lucn-c5eapoitan Folk sons> Tenor italian
aooos-En Mournnso CgshallsFlsa.r2
1sO2O-Bohemnn 10 CRaltel
For All Eternity c,lasoheronD Baritone Richard Bonei
laosii Take You Home a9e Kssa anG sss:asSF 2r. Trio
Lass O. kirean Csuckles) Tenor Thoo Karlo
5OIi-Rosary clevn) contraito
Son. Eh e E9aSs and ofs ss Ha Te
lOo82-Siazurka Chopin rlreislor) violin sool
Max ROscn
INSTRUMENTAL
5o5i-sprins zephyrs-warts C.ssssls,
Victory Festival March Cvesseia)
POPULAR
epgolober
Kentucky Babe (Bucl-GebeD Criterion Male Quartet
aOSo-whfp sally De slya-rSera) soprano
Look for the Silver Lining From sally" CDe syva-Kern
Soprano and Tenor Irene Audrey and sam Ash
Me,
wyomng~Iulaby civilians, Tenor and Baritone
art Elliott
2Os8-rucker Whistle cvInoent- Eranklyn)
Was Born in Michigan cFrankin -oeroer)
FOR DANCING
Crosse
All Say Hum-Todde (Zany-Emery-van-
ham
Waltz (Levy) FentOns Orchestra
Cleaning Time-walz OIoliday-Cross) Tentons or
in
introducing Calling
CDavs-NIerzur- squires Rudy Weidoefts Cafornians
Keep on OWL Introducing
CRoseBrownJ w Rudy WiedOefts Cafornians
(Gershwin Brothers Band
Learning-Fox Quicker -steger)
Green
1,+roduct1p ..F-or Somebody
OKendisClare) (Accordion Solol Mario Perry
Broken
han-Cobun) (Accordion Solo) Mario Perry
IO-in.-S5c
Introducing Hawaiian
-Jerome) Carl FentOn's Orch
SomeI tie Bird
McPhal Alystine) Carl FentOns Orch
ANY PHoNoGRAPH PLAY BRUNSWICK RECORDS
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-29

7; Is charged that the federal reserve board aide
Wall st. But don't overlook the aid it has giver
70 those outside Wall St
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-29

history, but forgets the date OF his
wedding anniversary and never
knows when it's dinner time.
A lot OF smash-Ups could be avoid
ed, if a man would only realize that
il takes skill and ''hot-air," rather
than brute force and determination,
to run an automobile-or a woman.
The honeymoon is not actually
over, until the bridegroom begins
looking for the old pipe and slippers
he threw away. and the bride be-
gins writing home for the old clothes
she left with Mother.
There IS no such thing as ALLEN
ated affections" A man never
SEES another woman. until he has
stopped looking at you, and begun
looking for consolation or diversion.
A man can play so ~cleverly'' at
the love-game that ne cheats him
self out OF all the thrills.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-29
You
Heard
Ishan
Jones

and his music master orchestra. Their appearance in
South Bend triumph and their excellence representa-
tive of Brunswick Recordsl They peerlessII
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-29

There Is a new type Of pest multiplying IN ehis
country, best named by Ed Howe who calls them
Public Affairs Lunatics.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-29

The bankers mean all right. in their talk of the
necessity of extending longterm credits to foreign
ers. But isn't ii odd that no one ever mentions
similar service for American consumers?
-o
Ohio's governor releases manufacturer from
prison because confinement is interfering with his
business This shows the advantage of life SEN
tence-no business TO worry about.
II the publishers of war memoirs want to wear
GU; few presses why don't they induce some of
the women who were behind the scenes to write
their confessions?
Now we know why the japanese make good serv-
ants. Promising 70 get out Of shantung. they show
that they can't break China.
I; Is charged that the federal reserve board adc1
Wall st. But don't overlook the aid it has given
% those outside Wall st.
There Is a new type Of pest multiplying in .his
country. best named by Ed Howe who calls them
Public Affairs Lunatics
a sure way to produce rain artihcially is to wear
straw hat or a freshly-pressed suit and leave
your umbrella az home
Three hundred bandits captured" says head
line. Don't cheer; IT happened in Egypt.
Germany is dehed by unaided Polish insurgents
How have the mighty fallen
One Of the eternal mysteries is how your neigh
Dor afford a better car.
Ez-Pres't Wilson is writing book. Bet it begins.
May / not"
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-29

a straw hat or freshly-pressed suit and Ieav
your umbrella az home
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-29
Brunswick Program!
JUNE

These viii meet Win The growing
public definition
tone quality individuality
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-29
Cottage At the Lake

For the
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-29

Three hundred bandits captured" says head
line. Don't cheer; it happened in Egypt.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-29

Germany is dehed by unaided Polish insurgent
How have the mighty fallen!
Charlevoix county herald., 1921-04-29
UNFlTTEST SURVIVAL

''The defect of most labor organiza-
tions," says Judge Gary, els that they
are planned to protect the poor work.
er from the good worker and try to
level down-not to level up" And in
nine cases out Of teu, it is the poor
worker, the chap who slacks in the
tugs, who is the red eyed radical de-
manding government ownership and
an opportunity to make the taxpayers
stand for wage-scale the height Of
which would be controlled only by the
capacity of the public treasury. The
good worker endeavors to earn his pay.
Charlevoix county herald., 1921-04-29
NO ILLUSIONS HERE

Admiral Won TurpitZ, former head of
the German navy, says that Europe
brought culture to American countries
five hundred years ago, and it should
now be very proud task for America
today to save European culture from
inevitable destruction"
The admiral then naively adds: 'It
is only by pursuing such a course that
she (America) can hope to have with
her the sympathies of the world in the
inevitable competition with the Japan
esq.,"
Reading between the lines, this
would seem to be sort of yelled threat
that if the American people do not dig
down into their money bags and hand
over the yellow metal European coun-
tries will all go to the dogs and then
sit idly by and watch the Japanese de-
YOUR us at their leisure.
Won Turpitz and other solicitous gen.
tlemen on the other side of the Atlantic
should lose no sleep regarding our sta
tus in possible war with Japan.
We have no illusions over here.
If we are forced to defend ourselves
against Japanese aggression we will
have to fight alone. And we can do
it, even if we are peace loving nation.
Fear of Japanese reprisals would
prevent aid from any country to the
south Of us, even if they were in po-
sition to render such aid, which they
are not.
Jealousy and secret desire to see
the great American giant crippled COM
mercially would probably prevent any
European country from raising a hand
in our behalf.
AS to the sympathy of the rest of the
world, that is a matter that will neither
concern us greatly or deter us a part
icle when the army Of an invader ap-
proaches our shores-if one ever does.
Admiral Won Turpitz does not under
stand us any better today than he did
in the days just preceding our entry in
to the late war.
In the matter of age we are an infant
among the nations of the earth, but we
are at least able to toddle alone and re-
tain firm grip upon our self respect.
We do not buy European sympathy
with American gold.
Charlevoix county herald., 1921-04-29
EAST JORDAN DE-
FEATS CHARLEVOIX

The High School baseball season was
opened last Wednesday when Cnarle-
voix High School came over to East
Jordan TO play the local high school.
East Jordan won the score of five to
one.
Gunderson and Liskum were the
batteries for East Jordan, while Cum
ningham and Todd acted in the same
capacity for Charlevoix. Gunderson
struck out seventeen men and allowed
two hits, while Cunningham struck out
three men and allowed three hits.
The game was well played consider
ing the fact that it was the first game
of the season. East Jordan has an
abundance of material and ought to
present very strong team at the end
of the season.
Games are scheduled with Central
Lske, Traverse City, Mancelona, Boyne
City, and Charlevoix.