Evening star., 1921-11-13
Z Y YELL. don't suppose It
will surprise nobody to
" " find out that I am in
washinctor for the dis

will surprise nobody to
find out that I am in
Washington for the dis
armament conference, as 1t Is get
ting so that they can't put on no
event Of worldwide interest with
out they have me there. and II you
look 1t up you will find that have
been behind the scenes at every
real big occasion that has game or
in the world in the last 5 yrs. ex-
cept the tennis match between Mrs.
Mallory and Miss Lenglen-and
what a flop that was.
Anyway, here am a good hours
from Longs Island but no chance
to get lonesome, as this old town
is full of celebritys and 1t seems
like every time I turn around H. G.
Wells or NJ. Briand or somebody
hollers:
Hay, Ring"
= Y *s-f-x a
a.. Wells and some Of the other Wis
iting firemen is stopping at private
homes. but personly always pre-
fer a hotel where a person can get
their pants pressed rights and look
like something in the morning. and
besides If you stay at somebody's
house that don't know you very
well you are libel to set down to
meal after meal of cheese omelet
and sliced bananas.
OF course. the paper Wells is
working for done a smart thing
when they stuck him in a private
home. Hotel grub runs into real
money even when you only put on
the feed bag times every "a hours,
but imagine having an Englishman
knocking over meals per day at
your expense.
am stopping at the Willard
which Is the same hotel where the
French delegation Is at, but so far
I amt ran acrost many OF them In
the lobby. and the head waiter says
many things puzzles them. Espe-
cially that concoction that the
waiter sticks in front Of them as
room. This is a glass that has got
a piece of ice floating in a liquid
that amt red or white or no color
at all, but when you tip the glass
little the ice hits against the side
of it and tinkles. so maybe it is
some kind of musical instrument.
They may be some Of my-readers
that is dumb enough to not know
what this conference is all about.
Well. friends. it has been called
together to see il they amt some
way of stopping war and that is
what the league of nations was
supposed to do. but the league has
been to bat five or six timesSand
amt even got foul. So the idear
is to find a substitute for the league
and lot Of the boys figures that
the disarmament scheme will do
the business, so the object Of this
meeting is to get all the different
and making ammunitions. and etc.
and it looks now like they would
all agree to the proposition. pro-
vided they'S an understanding that
it don't include they themselfs.
They's no question but what the
United States would be tickled to
death to see all the ships sank and
all the guns and bombs and brick
bats throwed in the ash can. That
would leave every nation in the
same position. namely. without
nothing to fight with except their
fists. And we have got Dempsey.
X X 4
Jokeing to one side this country
goes into the conference in dead
earnest and fully prepared to Grip
pie ourself from fighting stand
point provided the other nations
does the same. and as a evidents
of good faith President Harding is
planning bonfire at which he will
burn his niblick.
The main idear. of course, is to