davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-06
BREAKAGE

The manager of New York chain of restaurants
says that IL all the cups plates and glasses that
broken in his restaurants were suddenly broken
given day the noise would be
parable with the fall Of the WOODWORK building. But
It probably wouldn't alarm the housewife who en-
ploys modern help. She has grown accustomed to
the sound of breaking dishes.
Managers of restaurants constantly comment
ing upon the caresness of the hired help OF today
as compared with the antebellum period. There also
appears to be a tendency toward deliberate break
age, or sabotage. the part OF many domestic and
restaurant helpers. A cook complained in print the
other day that society women had entirely too much
china and silverware TO give the help any oppor-
tunity OF taking things easy" and she intmated
that the time coming when the help would reg
uIate the amount dish washing be done. When
that day comes breaking up housekeeping will
have a newer and literal connotation than it
possesses.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-06
Ignorant Essays
By ]. P. McEVOY

, has been. Gimme air, gimme air"
Perhaps one could become recon
ciled to so many people II one could
grow accustomed TO their queer
shapes sizes and their odd appear
ance around the face. If one. say
could whettle down that fat fellow
over there. or re-upholster that lean
one; if one could graft a heater,
closer-setting set Of ears on some
or make an incision in a few more
heads and put an idea into them.
Maybe the expense Of the latter
wouldn't warrant the result=the
idea being all alone would rattle
around until it got dizzy. or else it
would curl up in an empty corner
and die Of lonesomeness.
Yes. there are too many peo-
pie. you and I and a few we could
name off hand would be plenty. Go
out on the street and look them
over. from the window as l write
this l can see eight Of them whom
I never would miss. neither you'd
you.
And not only are there too many
now. but there have been too many
already There's Shakespeare. he
grabbed things by writing all those
plays before 1 could get a chance.
And l have suffered the same unfeel-
ing treatment from Virgil. Milton,
Shelby. Brown, Keats. L might
have done Mona Lisa if Leonardo
da Vinci hadn't beaten me to 1t. But
now it's too late, through no fault
of mine. either
Well. / am having my revenge.
one hundred years from now some
body will be sore at me for having
written this before he could get a
chance at it. and III be away up
yonder, looking over the Pearly
Parapet and giving them a sweet
angelic laugh. Won't ! have the
good times. though! It's a beautiful
thought! I shall hold it,
Copyright, 1920
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-06
More Truth
Than Poetry
By JAMES ]. MONTAGUE
THERE ARE PEOPLE AND PEG.

THERE ARE PEOPLE AND PEO-
Pile.
There was a certain manager
Whose shows were mostly girls.
And girls who wore but little more
Than brown and golden curls.
lie brought the show TO old New
York
And, simple truth 10 tell,
Though critics PANIED it out OF
hand
It really did quite well.
For though the somewhat human
race
VIC do not like 20 knock.
It's really true that quite a few
Are fond OF shows that shock.
There was another manager
Who chuckled when he got
\ play that had a very bad
or wholly vicious plot.
lie brought the show to old New
York.
And though folks more or less
Were scandalized. as he surmised.
II made a big success.
We hate 20 paste the human race
Which we belong TO. but.
There's quite a lot who Ike a plot
That's very largely smut.
Another manage PAT on
A play OF simple life.
The sort OF show 10 which you'd SO
And take your kids and wife.
And now there's crowds around the
door
Who c,amor and entreat.
And think they've struck a run OF
luck
II they can get a seat
For though some members OF OUT
race
Are low and base and mean.
There's more you know. who like g
show
That's absolutely clean.
Copyright 1920
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-06
PEOPLE.

PEOPLE.
People are what fill all the seats
in the cars when you are weary:
what crowd YOU off the sidewalks
on nice days and stick umbrellas
into your eyes on rainy ores. peo-
pie, in short. are what cause most OF
the discomfort and annoyance that
YOU and 1 suffer. the most annoying
annoyance OF all being the realiza-
ton that the majority OF them are
unnecessary.
l think you will agree with me
there are too many people. take
all the Internal Revenue Agents.
wish somebody would the re-
formers. the faddists. the home
brewers who tell YOU about it but
never give you any .. women who
talk about their operations. eff
cheney experts. .psycho-analysts.
the fellows who write cigaret ads.
motorcycle cops. .uplifters.
box-ottice ticket sellers. .ventrilo-
quists. acrobats. birds who can't
tell stories but do. birds who can
tell stories and do. new parents.
other peoples children, girls who
say isn't that thrilling. men who
say Say lissun" and "oh. lookit.".
birds who recite the shooting of Dan
McGrew. people who make uku-
leles. people who sell 'em, people
who play 'em. people who listen to
EN-. people who write cracks about
EN-.
1t seems af If always there has
been too many people. Diogenes,
you will remember. even when he
went away off by himself was fol-
lowed by Alexander, who insisted
upon standing between him and the
sun; far from the maddening
crowds ignoble strife" says the
post; "et tn Brute" complained
Caesar. meaning that Brutus was
one too many; and the cry Of count
less crowds. smothered generations
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-06
MAY 1921
THE HIGH COST OF ROADS.

Il s startling TO read that federaly aided high
cost more than double the average amount spent
annually 10 years IN building the Panama canal,
according to figures compiled by the United States
department OF agriculture. Highways construction
during the fiscal year 1920 including the amount
paid by the various reached the approximate
total Of ssO.OOOOOO. The cost OF the Panama canal
was s373. OOO and it required 10 years to COM
pIete the task the average rate OF expenditure was
s37.OO000O.
The farmer time goes plays an increasingly
prominent part upon the stage Of urban life. The
need for good roads becomes important neces-
sity to those farmers who live in more remote sec
tons OF the country. and who have become more and
more dependent upon the automobile and motor
truck Ii is this growing demand for well con-
structed highways that has made the nations road
building program such an expensive proposition.
Wherever man is there will the road be also, and
although hgures cited by the United states de-
partnlent OF agriculture seem rather staggering at
first sight the results OF opening new ar
ferries OF traffic to the handlers Of farm products VIII
later speak louder than the figures. That the fed
eraI government believes in the great importance
Of this road building work IS patent when one con
siders that tho federal ney allotted to this road
building program amounted 10 S103,925O94 at the
end OF the 1920 fiscal year, which only $3.50,
1ss less than the expenditure of the various
states during the calendar year 1919 for highway
construction.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-06
HOW TO GET RICH.

How can you get rica2 Thousands Of ways You've
given thought 70 many OF them. And probably. at
some time or other. you've tried to invent come
thing shortcut TO wealth Trouble s. most folks
try 10 invent something complicated. The simple
things are most in demand. Many big fortunes have
been founded them. For instance:
husband got tired OF searching under the bureau
for his wfe's lost hairpins SO he crmped the wires
OF the hairpins to keep them from falling out o
her hair. The idea worked. He built a business
around It. To-Day every his inveHtion.
Another fellow lived in the days when all screws
fiat at the>end. whe'i a hole had be drilled
before the could bs used. He sent 10 lash
ington the shortest latent application on record.
I claim a patent on d screw with a gimlet point"
That patent made him ri h Millions OF sc:e~s
based on It, ara now used every cay
Great fortunes grew Ct the safety pin rcmov-
able collar button. sharpened nail. key ring and
rubber pencil tip This latter was devised by an
office clerk who tied his eraser 10 his pencil sc he
wouldn't have to reach it.
Can you invent metal tip that won't pull off
shoe laces?
Or some way of fastening French heels to wo-
mems shoes they won't come loose?
Or a wrench that will handle big pipe without
crushing it?
or simple device to do easily anything else now
difficult?
If so, you virtually name your own price.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-06
WHY THE OLD COW DIED.

why. in spite Of increased rates and government
guarantee money. the railroads slipping farther
and farther in the hole Some OF their explanations
sound like the speech of the rural lawyer in the
justice or the peace court.
your Honor" he detained "if the train had
been running she should have been ran; if the
bell had been rung as it should have been rang: if
the whistle had been blown. it should have been
blew: both OF which they did neither the COW would
not have been injured when she was killed"
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-06
JUST FOLKS
By EDGAR A. GUEST
FORGETFUL PA.

EORGETFUL PA.
Ny Pa says that he used TO be
bright boy in geography.
An when he went TO school he
knew
The rivers an the mountains. too,
An all the capitals Of states
An bound'ry lines an all the dates
They Joined the union. But last
night
When L was studyin' TO recite
asked him If he would explain
The leading industries Of Maine
He thought an thought an thought
a lot.
An said, Il knew. but I've forgot"
Ny Pa says when he was in school
he got a hundred as a rule,
An grammar was a thing he knew.
Becoz he paid attention TO
HIS teacher an he learned the way
To write good English an to say
The proper things, an I should be
As good a boy N school as he.
But once I asked him could he
give
} ale llt4D WIN the 4uA4il4LAhN
He scratched his head and said:
Great Scott
I used 20 know, but I've forgot"
Ny Pa says when he was a boy
Arithmetic was just a toy,
He learned his tables mighty fast
An every term he always passed.
An had good marks, an teachers
said:
That yoUngster surely has head y
But Just the same I notice now
Most every time I ask him how
To find the common multiple.
lie says, That's most unusual!
Once I'd told you on the spot.
But somehow. sonny, I've forgot"
I'm tellin' You just what is what,
Ny Pas forgot an awful lot.
Copyright. 1929
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-06
The Tower of Babel
BY BILL ARMSTRONG

Mothers day. Sunday. will prob.
ably mean nothing more than OPEN
ing the kitchen an hour earlier and
closing It an hour later than usual.
Welcome FOE. Il reads funny
when you omit the periods. What
we meant 10 say IS. "Howdy Eagles
Come in. Have a good time and
don't forget 10 come back again "
If Art Macdonald is going 70 act
in the American Legion minstrels
on Nay 9th and 2sth. II looks ~
II they would have to cut the Black
stone stage a little higher or dls a
post hole for Art 10 stand on the
stage.
Walter Fegan. the insurancer.
viii have 10 go 10 work again now
that John DeHaven and Ralph
Hutchinson are through with poll
tics and are back on the Job again.
Some day when we start for a
convention somewhere we are going
to see If A. s. Burkart won't let US
borrow his striped suit that he
wears to all the boxing matches.
Fred Reimold has a new spring
hat. 1t Is light gray in color and
looks as If it might have set the
hardware merchant back about six
iron men.
Bob Swintz is thinking OF having
the constitution amended so that
YOU can start wearing a straw hat
about the middle Of May. Bob must
have an old Benny stuck away
somewhere that he isn't entirely
ashamed OF.
Michigan at. merchants will fall
in the doors Of the various banks
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-06

farmer has the best chance of living longest.
An office workers life averages the shortest. OBJ
viously. since these only average figures. they
do not apply all workers in any of the occupa-
tons
We all know farmers who have died young And
occasionally in Office you find old man who
looks IL he came over with Columbus. but the
figures do reveal the effects of hazard and indoor
confinement on a workers lifetime. They should
be OF especial interest TO the young uncertain
about what line OF work he will follow through life.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-06

It is done better almost everywhere else in the
world
The murders OF policemen simply a symp-
tom or the breaking down OF city morale.
There are innumerable other systems. but this
Is the one which at the moment IS thrown into
lief and challenges or attention.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-06
WHEN WILL YOU DIE?

The kind of work you are doing determines the
number OF years you probably will live.
The department OF labor investigates the death
rate in many different occupations. It finds that the
average death age in these lines of work for both
men and women. is As.
How long will you live?
Possibly the answer is in the following list Of
occupations and average age of death. compiled
by the department.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-06
Practically Nothing

Hotel prices in the big cities have
dropped so f that the average
clerk can bu a dinner for himself
and wife fol 50 than two weeks
wages.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-06

A Fable: once upon time there was fly that
lived to a ripe old age and not survived by
single descendant
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-06

Since the booze raiders went 20
work the expression. You can
search me-" has disappeared from
our language.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-06

Remember Mother with a box Of
Philadelphia candies. The Phila.
S593-7-Advt.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-06

,when they open this morning. Irob-
ably loaded down with IS bills. the
result OF yesterdays buying orge.
Since Charley Thomas went into
the monograph business a. the
American drug store next 20 our Of
ace on Y. Main 81. we have an awful
fight with ourselves TO keep from
toddling while writing Newman's
ad.
The coming OF prohibition would
! have caused some men 20 lead aw-
! full lonesome. indifferent lives II the
short skirts craze hadn't struck the
town Just when they did.
Bill Bender says he supposes
when a man drinks perfume these
favs. he can be arrested on a charge
OF fragrancy.
4 report that Jimmy Boyer or
Elkhart would be IN the city Thurs
day night TO attend the Klwanis
club stag at the Oliver hotel.
caused the police department 70
double the downtown force for the
occasion.
Five Dollar day was celebrated
generally BY the bootleggers. They
rave eight snOrts for a V. with
double red trading stamps thrown
in. Whisk brooms were furnished
with TASKS without additional
charge.
Marvin Campbell called Us up for
poem that he wanted 20 recite az
| a Mothers day observance some
where Wen tell Marvin that If h.
gets into the habit OF reciting our
poems around indescriminately. he
liable to be asked 10 leave town
without any warning.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-06

Any Rate They Make Themselves.
The railroads are willing 20 &C
cept business at any rate.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-06

Kimono Crepe, 27-inch,
in floral designs, good as
sortment; Friday Goa
only, yard EJW
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-06

Huck Towels, red border,
size l3x27 (seconds) for
merly 15c; choice, O.
Friday .......... W
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1921-05-06

Michigan at. merchants will fall
in the doors Of the various banks
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1921-02-01
5000 AT HERMIT
 SHOW

The stage Is all set for the Hermits' big dance and vaudeville revue at the Casino. State street. tonight. the sale of tickets for the affair indicating that it will be one of the most sue cessful of it's kind ever staged in this city.
 The fact that artists Of nation wide reputation are to appear in the vaudeville show together with many local performers is responsible for the big advance sale of tickets With Miss Hazel Washburn. winner of a national beauty contest, coming from New York to appear in tonight'< af- fair; her sister coming down from New Haven where she is appearing at Shuberts in Broadway Brevities. to participates: and score of other vaudeville artists booked to appear. large crowd of theatrical fans is certain to be on hand
 Arthur Chatterdon and Ruth
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1921-02-01
PERSONALS

MISS KATHRYN MacBRIDE of White cottage, Walnut Beach, enter tained a few of her friends at danc- ing party at her home recently. The rooms were prettily decorated with red crepe paper streamerS fastened with hearts in accordance with St. Valentines day. A dainty luncheon was served. Those present were Miss Marguerite O'Brien. Miss Eleanor May Crowley, Miss Adelaide Smith, Edward Shugrue. Leo Smith and Fred Jones.
 THE MEMBERS of the Qui vive club will have a small social in the club rooms on Feb. 13.
 THE SECOND MEETING of the Aesthetic dancing class at the Barnum Service Center will be held on Friday evening at 8 o'clock.
 THE MEMBERS of the Senior Glass at the Normal school will be the guests of the Junior Class at a Valentine social and entertainment to be given in the auditorium on We'd nesday afternoon
 AN ATTRACTIVE LUNCHEON was served for the Bridgeport Art League members yesterday afternoon at the Homestead Tea room on Clin- ton avenue by Mrs Katherine Lewis hostess who arranged the individual tables for the numerous reservations The hostesses included: Mrs. Charles Callahan, Mrs. Carolyn Doremus. Mrs Charles Haynes, Miss Helen Lyhnes Mrs. Walter Taft. Mrs. c. Hur1burt Mrs. T. I. Ferguson. Mrs. Edward Spargo, Mrs. I. T. Banks, Mrs. Edward L. Foster. Mrs. Seton Ewart, Mrs Walter Irwin Mrs. F. l.. Mills, Mrs Frank Hickman and Mrs. T. Bartram
 MRS. HOWARD SIMPSON of the Girls club committee of the Associat ed Charities had charge of the open ing reception in the recreation hal and gymnasium at 715 Main street formerly the Food Hut, yesterday af ternoon. The spacious building ha.
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1921-02-01

MRS. FRANK WILSON and daughter, Miss Edith, of the More house Hotel. are sojourning in the metropolis for the remainder of the week.
 MRS. MERGER BLoNDEL, of Cleveland avenue. is registered at the Hotel Seymour with her sister in tew York for an indefinite stay. THERE WILL BE AN important meeting at the 18th district Repub- Hcan club tonight at o'clock for all women in the district. when Mrs Samuel c. Shaw will make an ad- dress on "Child Welfare" and also | discuss other bills pending. Mu- sical selections will be enoyed and refreshments served. Mrs. George Morris, of Seaview avenue, president | of the club, will be hostess, and Mrs. William c. kenna, chairman of ar judgements.
 MRS. LOUISE B. POWE of Sea view avenue is entertaining her
 daughter, Mrs. Edwin Hoyt, of New i Canaan, for a few days.
 l AMONG THE Bridgeporters at 1 tending the Governors Foot Guard dance at the State Armory in New Haven are Senator and Mrs. A. l.. Delaney, MT. and Mrs. Louis i Kutcher, Miss Norma Weber and Dr. | Stephen Cronan-
 MRS. ELMER BEARDSLEY, or ganiSt of the United Congregational l church, has arranged for a series o1 | brilliant Lenten organ recitals. Such well known favorites as Charles Gill
 bert Spross, composer, who recently played the piano accompaniments fol
 Anna Case, will open the series, as.
 sisted by Jackson s. kinsey, bari.
 tone, of New York city. The follow
 ing week, Clayton Stevens of the
 Park Street Congregational church
 will play with Miss Marie de kyzer
 ciety, as so1oist. Other artists or
 the program include Harry Rowt
 Shelly, composer Of note, assisted bJ a tenor from the Metropolitan Opers House; Arvin Hall of Washington ] Park M. E. church; Miss Grace Jame.
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1921-02-01
SCHOOL PROBE
 IS CALLED OFF

At the first meeting of Mayor VII sons investigating committee or schools last night. steps were taker for the temporary suspension of th< committee activities. pending the die posal of the Mayors school bill nov before the state legislature Int measure. which provides the MaYol with the power of appointing mem bers Of the Board of Education thereby abolishing the present e'ec' tive system and for the limitation o the size of the board to five mem bers- was introduced to the legisia| ture after the local committee had been named
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1921-02-01

Amos of the Lyric Stock company- will lead the grand march szd thers will be dancing until late hour to ths accompaniment of Murray's aug; mented orchestra
 IL is estimated that at least 5.0os people will i'll the Casino for the dance. If this proves to be the cast it will be the largest dance held ir Bridgeport this season.
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1921-02-01
Main Street

A. B. Klein, prop. of second
 hand store, 1477 Main St., says: q
 ble. Being on the road so much
 as salesman and the continual change of water, I blame for the trouble. I was caused to get up several times during the night to pass the kidney secretions and ] also felt generally run down until I began taking Doan's Ki,1ney Pills. Doan's seemed to reach ray case at once, and three boxes cured
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1921-02-01

of California. and R. Huntington woodman, with Hans Kronold. vio- linist, as his assistant
 DR. w. H. BALL, associate phy- sical director of the Inrernationai committee Of the Y, M. c. A., will speak on philosophy and Play" to- night at the association. Supper will be served at 6:30 o'clock follow ed by the address.
 MRS. EUGENE SULLIVAN will be the hostess at the next whist and | bridge party to be given at the Cath nue on next Friday evening. The public is invited to attend.
 MISS CLEMENTINA DeROCCO, Y. w. c. A. secretary, will spend the week in New York City where she will attend the large Interna- l tiona1 conference to be held in the National Y. w. c. A. building Inter national institute and immigration problems will be discussed.
 A MEETING OF THE MENS s LEAGUE of the Blessed Sacrament church will be held on Monday even i ing Plans for the St. Patrick's eve entertainment will be discussed. There will be short program pre- i scented at the meeting
 MISS EMMA HAWKINS OF 6t ] SACHS STREET, Stratford, enter tained a few friends at her home or Saturday at a birthday party. A LARGE BENEFIT DANCE fol
 the poor of the city will be held or
 Thursday, February 13th, at the Ser
 vice center on Barnum avenue under
 the auspices of the Qui Vive and tho
 Veritas club.
 MEETING of the Italian Wo'
 mems council will be held on Wed
 neSday afternoon at the Internationa
 institute on Beach street. A program for the afternoon has been arranged
 At present the members are engaged in distributing the funds of the or l ganization among the needy families of the city.
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1921-02-01

numbers. Miss Helen Wilson of West port favored with piano selections and several of the children from Longfellow school danced Hungarian dances in costume. Tea was served by Mrs. J. H. Orton at the conclusion of the program.