Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1921-10-03
Crabbscrawlings

TOBEY TOADVINE SAYS:
l don't aim to violate the VOL
stead law none at all, but l GER
tainly am a willin' hand at ignor-
in it.
EAST VS.. WEST.
A 7. B. doctor in the east, and
much of him I've heard,
Has charges most outrageous high,
in fact, they are absurd!
His first exam is fifty seeds, that
isn't any lie;
He even charges three bucks when
you call to say goodbye!
Now Albuquerque has her docs, ex-
pert at making money,
But no such fees as these have we
in this old land so sunny;
Our docs would like to charge as
much, but they cannot be so
rash
For three bucks here you can get
kiss, and two per cent for
cash!
Yea, verify, the day rapidly
draweth nigh when the poor bache-
iot lOll 4loAl lllV lilObh
balls and camphor his winter I'M
derwear, and finding thereon no
buttons, seyereth the buttons from
his summer underwear and sew
eth them upon the winter ones.
And 1t shall come to pass in the
spring of the next year, this order
Of things shall be reversed.
The trouble with most bald
beaded men Is that they never
thought about locking the barn
door until the horse was gone.
Big words never impress any
body except the one who is using
them.
If the doctors insist on saying
tonsilectomy and appendectomy,
we see no reason why chiropodists
shouldn't call it ingrowntoenailec-
tony.
When you deal with cheap PEG.
pie you must expect cheap results.
knickerbockers. 1t Is 1853 miles
to Chicago from here, not including
one mile down hill.
And now comes the slicker who
wants to bet that New York will
win the worlds baseball "champee-
yenship."
When a man has so much to do
that he begins to neglect his
friends, it's time for him to get
another job.
LIFE DAY BY DAY.
On Sunday get my home paper.
A weekly from dear old Kahn
tuck;
On Monday my own coils the caper.
That is If I've had any luck!
On Tuesday there comes the
Worlds Greatest.
And sometimes | have q squib
there
Defining the "bach" was my latest;
On Wednesday, existence Is bare;
On Thursday l fill up on chicken;
On Friday commences my wrath,
For Saturday, sure as the dickens -
On Saturday get that darn bath.
When a person prefaces state
ment with the word confidential
~" the chances are somebody is in
for a bit of razzing, so,
CONFIDENTIALLY
There are only a few things we
don't approve of in the beloved
Journal, and not being able to find
Little Benny's Note Book in the
same place every day is one of
them.
And we still have the hope that
some sweet morning we shall see
where Jiggs has knocked old Mag
gle for a brace of Babe Ruths.
The woman's page put off by
itself is fine. Don Fulano says
that's great stuff for the wimmen.
Well take his word for that.
Personally, we do not miss the
sermonettes, because we never read
them. But when it came to the
libel suits and C. C. M. singing II
Hear You Calling Me" to the First
National, we didn't overlook even
a punctuation mark.
"A gentleman from Chicago re-
Gently said to us that the excel
lence of Albuquerque's morning
paper was revelation to him,
particularly the editorial page on
Monday. That made it the unani-
nous opinion of all present.
However, some say that any
change In this column must inevita-
bly, be for the better.
A New York dealer advertises
Majamas as well as Pajamas.
This woman's rights thing can
be overdone.
And meanwhile the CANYONS at