The Birmingham age-herald., 1921-06-11
ANDREW AND IMOGENE
Fly ROE FULkERsON

'Tuddin', you look all tired out" said Andrew. What you been do- ing all this long rainy dayT'
 Imogene was curled up, kitten fashion, on the divan and she turned her face toward him and replied: q over to call this afternoon and her terminal facilities were bad. The teacher who taught her punctuation forgot to teach her that there was such a thing as a. period. She is always knitting and she just starts her mouth going and then forgets about it, and 1t works on while she attends to her knitting. She was telling me about her daughters this afternoon
 We'll what about 'em?' asked Andrew.
 Two of them are married, you know. The oldest one, called kittie, married an actor and was soon di- vorced. but she went on the stage and married another actor. and then another. till the thing has grown into a habit with her and at times she forgets her own name but her iicihtT Is loT SIC GBhuS money home all the time.
 The second one married a. salt seller and she"
 She married salt-cellar?" ex pioded Andrew.
 ''I mean man who sells salt--a salt drummer" explained Imogene. She has two children and is very happy even if she does live in Michigan. But the last daughter has been a source of lot of worry to her mother. It was this unmar- ried daughter whom she was talk ing to me about She has given up all hope of the girl ever getting married and she cannot seem to get @&rk of any kind but at last she is all fixed, so Mrs. Fox says. She has paid $25 to a man who is going to teach her short story writing by correspondence. as short stories bring all the way from s75 to $500 each. and Mrs. Fox says person can write one In day"
 Easiest thing in the world to write one, but it is a dickens of a job to sell 'em," laughed Andrew.
 well, Mrs. Fox Is satisfied any way replied Imogene. She says one can learn anything by corres- pondence now -a-days."
 ''Oh yes" said Anderw, these cor respondence courses which fill man with knowledge at two cents an ounce are great institutions. A student doesn't need to wear loud clothes, smoke bulldog pipe. be q good dancer, sing barber shop minors in the class harmony glee club. be hazed, play the banjo or have the liver turned over on the football field. All he needs Is a charge ac- count at the postoffice and a little leisure time in the evening.
 Given plenty of stamps and sta tionery, he can learn to dig post holes raise mushrooms, win prize fights, develop his biceps become a veterinary surgeon, chop-your- corn -of-iditist or jack-leg law yer. He can learn to draw cross section of cantilever bridge or political cartoon; he can write sec narios for jiggle picture shows or ocomotorattacks-yo
 His college yell iss two-cen. stamp put on the envelope on the bias and while he is taking his | course some rough-neck who doesn't know how to spell the word 'situa- ton has asked for the job he is ex- PuStih6 eo dpPiS iuI anu lS iidhlIlS good with it.
 T hope that Mrs. Fox's daughter will graduate with honor, but if she ever shows her diploma to a mag azine editor as an excuse for writ- ing for him, there will be some story to bo told by a bystander and that story is going to have a comedy plot.
 Next time you see Mrs. Fox tell her for me that she had better teach that girl to make pies. The author of first-class apple pie Is in much greater demand fin this country than the author of a short story. The of decent doughnut has more honor than the composer of roundelay and the originator of better way of washing dishes is much more needed than the composer of n scenario"
 Imogene raised her hand pleading ly. Mrs. Fox is not the only per son in this world whose education In the matter of periods was slight ed" she said.
 Andrew picked up his book and h tr~