davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star., 1921-06-29
BAND CONCERTS.

United States Capitol, today,
at S p.m., concert by the United
States Marine Band, William h.
Santelmann. leader.
PROGRAM.
March. universal Freedom:
Blankenburg
Overture, "Tannhauser."
Gavotte. Garden Dance"
Grand scenes from La Clio,
conda" ..Ponchtelll
First waltz. .Durand
Suite de ballet. prince Ador." >
Reubner
"Reminiscences of Scotland"
"rhe Star spangled Banner"
By the United States Soldiers
Home Band. Bandstand. this
evening. beginning at $3.50
o'clock. John s. NJ. thinner
mann, bandmaster.
March. The Return From
France" ..............C Crosby
Overture. The Beautiful Gala
Morceau, "A Fairy Tale. Bach
Gems from comic opera. The
Fox Genaeaens tro, novelty. "Neensh. Ny
Valse intermezzo. Sweet and
Finale, ITS All over Now"
Al Won Tilzer
THE Star Spangled Banner.
Evening star., 1921-06-29
MRS. J. |. DAVENPORT DIES
Widow of Former Commissioner of
Patents Succumbs.
peci,l DiSnatch 10 The Star.

Special Dispatch 10 The Star.
FALLS CHURCH. Va, June %
Mrs. James l.. Davenport. widow Of the
former commissioner of patents at
Washington, died here last night at the
home of her daughter. Mrs. A. L. Hough.
Mrs. Davenport suffered a stroke several
weeks ago and failed to rally.
Funeral services will be held at the
home of her daughter here Friday after
noon at o'clock, and the interment
will be in Rock Creek cemetery.
Mrs. Davenport is survived by another
daughter, Miss May Davenport, also Of
Falls Church.
Evening star., 1921-06-29
REPLIES TO LLOYD GEORGE.
De Valera Not Yet Ready to Decide
ON Attending Conference.

DUBLIN. June 29-Eamon de
Valera, the Irish republican leader. is
not vet ready to give definite answer
to Premier Lloyd Georges letter in
viting him to a conference for an
Irish settlement. He has briefly re-
piled to the premier. however, express
ing the earnest dsire for lasting
Evening star., 1921-06-29
FUNERAL OF MISS O'CoNNoR.

Funeral services for Miss Helen
O'Conror. formerly employed in the
Office of Assistant Superintendent of
Schools Kramer. who died at the home
of her parents. ISIS Wisconsin avenue,
on Monday. will be held at the resi-
dence at 10 O'Clock Friday morning.
Interment will be in Glenwood ceme-
tcrS
Evening star., 1921-06-29
AMENDS INCORPORATING ACT

Representative W. Bourke Cochran
of New York introduced a bill in the
House yesterday to amend the act in
cooperating GonZaga College0by NAM
ing as incorporators for pur poses Of
charity and education Buchard Will
ger, Charles II. Stonestreet. Daniel
Lynch. Edward Y. Hand and Charles
Jenkins and their SUCCESSORS.
Evening star., 1921-06-29
GOES TO CAMP BENN1NG.

Col. Edgar A. Fry. infantry. has
been relieved from duty with the
graves registration service in France
and ordered to Camp Benning. Ga.
for duty,
Evening star., 1921-06-29

Men are queer. AS soon as the
weather makes it easy for them to
stick to their Office chairs they want
, at Quay --TrleIo Pla1r
The Washington times., 1921-04-29
A Society for Service to
the Sick

Ask hundred Washington people you meet, "What and
where the Instructive Visiting Nurse Society,"" and not three
will be able to answer nigenty And yet this organization has
devoted twenty years to health work in the District Its head
quarters at t4t3 street and has staff of Director
two supervisors and fifteen graduate is maintained
wholly for the service of the sick Those unable pay get
ing Free and able to pay the charges from cents
6s cents for visit according the time spent and the service
rendered
This society," seeking richly deserved financial aid that
its work may 60 with increased staff possible is of nesti
mable value be made immeasuraby valuable
given the usned public support necessary to enlarge its working
facilities No amount of money pledged the society be too
much for its needs.
is stated that 90 per cent of Washngons sick not in
hospitals often the woeuy inadequate hospital facilities OF
this city oveaxed and is not possible for the sick to get
hospital accommodations Then, again. there thousands of
people whom the hospital charges are severe burden
that must carried with other obligations for long periods
thousands of the sick fail to receive the aen-
they should have Deaths result contagious spread
and threaten the healthy
Knowing the hospital situation in Washington nearly al
citizens do has it STRUCK YOU that the Instructive Visit
ing Society fills great gap and that help to make
stronger and useful to community long and seriously
in need of better facilities for caring for the sick?
The Washington times., 1921-04-29
HolD Much for a Leg?
HOU Much for q Life?|

field hospitals in a state of coma, dazed,
as though deaf, and actually dumb.
hated to see them, turned my eyes away
from them, and yet wished that they
might be seen by bloody minded men and
women, who, far behind the lines, still
spoke Of war lightly, as a kind of sport,
or heroic game, which brave boys liked or
ought to like, and said: We'll fight on to
the last man rather than accept anything
less than absolute victory and. when VIC
tory came, said: We stopped too soon.
We ought to have gone on for another
three months 1t was for fighting men to
say these things, because they knew the
things they suffered and risked. That
word we was not to be used by gentle
men in Government offices scared of air
raids, nor by women dancing in scanty
frocks at war-baZaars for the poor dear
wounded nor even by generals at G.. II.
O., enjoying the thrill of war without it's
dirt or danger.
Seeing these shell-shock cases month
after month during wears of fighting, L. as
an onlooker, hated the people who had not
seen, and were callous of this misery;
the laughing girls in the Strand greeting
the boys on seven days leave; the news
paper editors and leader writer's whose
articles on war were ALWAYS Cherry the
bishops and clergy who praised God as the
COMMUNICATIVE Chief of the allied armies,
and had never said word before the war
to make it less inevitable: the schoolmaster
who gloried in the lengthening Roll of
Honor and said: We're doing very well
when more boys died: the pretty woman
faces ogling in the photographers as well
known war workers. the munition work
ers who were getting good wages out of
the war; the working women who were
buying gramophones and furs while the
dreadful. callous, cheerful spirit of Eng
land at war"
The Washington times., 1921-04-29
HUMA \
William Anterior Du Puy-

There is a great misconception In the mind
OF the public with relation to conceited people,
says DR.. William A. White. Government aiienist
Washington.
The flagrantly conceited Is not what he
seems h Is a man with very pronounced short
comings, weaknesses He knows those short
comings. knows that because of them he is at
disadvantage. His bold front his pouter pigeon
strutting, is all camouflaging. He Is not really
conceited. He believes that other men have the
edge over him. His seeming conceit is a confess
sion of his weakness to those who read the symp-
toms understandingly.
Robert Huey sat in one OF the Sociable chairs
In front of the bank. in Portland. Ind, sum-
mer day, forty-five years ago. Huge OF limb,
mild OF nature, loved of all, was Huey.
Down the street came a stranger. a 1.-the back
woodsman. supple as seal.
ct Liberloss jim" he announced. from
Liberloss Creek / have walked thirty miles to
man named Robert Huey. They say he Is
a better man than l am and have never seen
yet. / have got to find him and fight him"
l am no fighter I never had a fight in my life"
II can't help that" said Liberloss Jim. I have
got to know, you have got to fight"
So these two supermen of the backwoods came
to grips there in the village streets and staged
a contest that was as worthy OF fancy price
of admission as any put by Tex Richard
any OF their kind. And at the end of it Linn
berloss Jim said he had enough and that Robert
Huey was the better man.
And a little boy looked whose name
John A. NJ. Adair and who afterward came to
Congress for ten years from Indiana and often,
in high places, told the story of this fight
Copyright, 1921 by Public Ledger Coz
The Washington times., 1921-04-29
Anglo-Irish.

The Lost Sheep of the House or Israel, the An
glo-Irish, have hitherto represented Ireland to
the world, and IL turns out, have misrepre
scented it, How indeed could the Anglo-Irish
without a religion and never even quite sure of
a country naturally cosmopolitan
the Graeco- Roman Jews. and to which the union
opened out its natural destiny in the farflung
British empire-become the interpreter OF that
mmobile and exclusive tradition? Their
mantle trea tment of reality was from the hrst
offense: for the Anglo-Irsh OF the nineteenth
century had the genial notion OF treating the
whole matiere Orlando romantically. Infatuated
mortais As well might the Graeco Roman Jews
have had the notion of treating romantically the
Babylonian activity. American and English col
lectors OF Anglo-Irish literature should be warn
ed that the bulk Of this literature Is uncanon-
cal.-John Eglinton in the Dial
The Washington times., 1921-04-29

that OF the members of the White
House Correspondents Association,
who will act as his publicity agents
in scattering to the four winds Of
the earth his new theory.
Directly opposite to the Theory OF
Relatively" by DR.. EINSTEN, whose
picture was taken with that OF
President HARDING (the latter
frankly admitting that the theory is
too ETHEREAL for him). Or. Moonshein
is superbly confident that his Con
sanguinity of Elasticity will become
easily understood by all, and explain
the presence on earth of KIRK MIL
LER, the writist; Madame DISTILLA.
the noted palmist, and other biris
of profound occult and 9cciput
knowledge.
"Consanguinity" is alone a science
sufficient to engage the attention of
one great mind. but for the same
price OF admission our DR.. Moon
shein adds elasticity" agreeing to
refund the money in the event tina.
he can not make both understood to
gaping public. He's far too proud
to confine the understanding of his
theories to less than TWELVE PEG
pie. and. gives credit to his wife Tor
having aided him greatly in elastic
ity of household and personal ex-
penditures.
The public must haze q chance to
express its Vie,ps or this profound
scientific discovery, and II and s,
noted for its advancement OF scien-
tifc subjects and its efforts to err
tend the use OF rubber in the human
neck, hereby opens its columns to
contributors.
The Washington times., 1921-04-29
HIDDEN AUTOMOBILES.

There are three hidden automobiles
in each OF the following sentences:
]. Let Harold Deskin get my
level and saw. and be on the JOB At
Malabri's Coeducational institution In
the morning.
2. Franco let Frieda visit us at
Red Oak Landing.
8. Our little Bess excused herself
for days at time, which led Ortie
to believe she was bashful.
4. Thurstan Legion and Gilber
Kissell carry on with the girls who
pull many hairs from their heads.
UNCLE BOB.
The Washington times., 1921-04-29
Danger Lights.

The state highway commission OF wyoming
has under consideration plans for the installa-
ton of baby lighthouses" at railway crossings
and on the approaches to dangerous curves
the States entire highway system. These lights
wink" at the rate OF forty-five times a minute
throwing a nine-inch ray, which be
three miles They similar to small ocean
lighthouses. The light standards are eight feet
high. mounted cement bases and each Is a
complete unit. Red lights designate railroad
crossings and dangerous curves are announced
nv yellow lights
The Washington times., 1921-04-29

suspecting world
his new theory OF
the "Consa nguini-
ty of Elasticity
DR.. Moonshein's
photo again APP
pears in these
columns. At an
early d a I e he
hopes to make
an appointment to
stand out in the
back yard OF tire
White II Gus e
Gro ~ n d s and
have his picture
I a X en- alongside
The Washington times., 1921-04-29
g. 1EARl> SE;Er&1
THE HIGH COST OF LOVING

When first ! wooed sweet Alice E.,
Ny years were only nve, sir;
Sometimes 1 went and blew a cent
To keep her love alive. sir.
when I was fifteen Year, Of age
From school I would escort her.
And when I'D treat. IL set me back
Sometimes about quarter.
when of the years I'd seen a score.
Wore creased pants and high collar, O
To keep "in good cost somewhat more
Say, now and then e dollar.
Last night ! gave to her q ring.
She kissed me, and I wondered
II 7 could ever liouidate
The price Of 1.-TWO hundred.
The Washington times., 1921-04-29
Object Lesson
from Louisiana
~ HE timber crop of the State of
Louisiana is worth to those who

N HE timber crop Of the State of
Louisiana is worth to those who
harvest it about $193,OOO,OOO a
year. After a tract of land has been
cut over it is not merely worthless
to its owner, but costs him about
twenty-five cents an acre in taxes to
maintain ownership. 1t is estimated
that at the present rate of cutting
the whole State will be denuded of
timber in twenty years.
In the same State the by-products
of the forests, turpentine, resin, pine
oil, ETC., are bringing in now about
$75,OOO,0OO year. But after the
wasteful American habit the method
of collecting these products is so un-
scientific and careless that it kills
each tree to which it is applied in
about three years, and experts esti-
mate that in less than twenty years
this industry also will come to an
end for lack of trees on which to
operate.
Curiously enough it is as a result
of lessons learned during the world
war that the conservation of the
pine tree products is being effected.
The method Of tapping trees for
resin and turpentine in vogue in this
country kills the tree in about three
years. Our engineers and foresters
who served in France found that the
methods there employed kept the
trees alive for as long as fifty years
without materially decreasing the
annual yield. The influence of the
State is now being employed to
persuade naval stores corporations
to adopt like methods here.
The new constitution of Louisiana,
now in preparation, provides for the
purchase and reforestation of AGO.
600 acres of cut-over lands. 1t is
estimated by forestry experts that
in twenty years these lands will be
producing enough pulp-wood, fence
posts and fuel wood to pay all in
terest, current and accumulated. on
the bonds, and that in forty years
there will be enough timber matured
to pay for the retirement of the
bonds and leave substantial sur
plus for further reforestation plans.
Northern States, like Wisconsin
and Michigan, that long ago dissi-
pated their heritage of timber, max
ing no provision for its restoration,
and having nothing to show for it
now save groups of swollen fortunes
and a few millionaire Senators, may
well study the methods of this
Southern commonwealth. 1t takes
time to grow new forests, but time
is the one asset which all communi-
ties share equally.
The Washington times., 1921-04-29
Bill. why couldn't you feather
your nest with the nom-de-
PLUMES of the G.. o. c?
CHEERUPADIST.
"GLORY. AND .DUTY.-

The line, Go where glory waits
thee" expresses beautifully an
exalted sentiment. but 'Sportuni-
tics to turn IL into action. are not
open to everyone. go where duty
waits thee" is. more homely, but
may be applied by all during ev-
cry waking minute in the year.
FRED VETTER
The Washington times., 1921-04-29

London maintaino laundry
school where girls are taught the
art OF washing clothes. Has any
laundry professor yet told any
body how to prevent buttons be-
ing torn off and clothes frayed.
EAMON s.
The Washington times., 1921-04-29
n DON the days before the war will
~ be forgotten. Those days of

be forgotten. IhOse Gays OF
- excitement, change, disruption,
will have drifted back to be classed
with the civil war, and. the war will
be soon forgotten.
Soon also will be forgotten the
men that fought in the late war,
'obeyed orders, or volunteered.
They will be classed with THE
SOLDIERS THAT ARE FORGOT
TEN, the "ancient history"
But few, for awhile at least,
will remember how they went away,
and how thousands of them came
back. A few will try to see that
justice is done them, and among
those few, or else they will be for
ever disgraced, should be the law
makers of the United States, all
those upon whom the people rely to
do justice.
1t is not that the people them
selves lack sympathy for wounded
soldiers, many made permanently in
efficient by gas, or by wounds. The
people sympathize, but they have
not the power to express their SYM
pathy.
They can and they SHOULD help
by writing to their lawmakers, and
making them realize what the people
want.
How much would you charge to
allow somebody to cut off your leg,
not scientifically under chloroform,
but in the open field with a jagged
wound, and leave you lying there!'
How much would the lawmakers
who ignore the soldiers charge to
have their eyes blown out, or their
systems forever poisoned and rid
died with CAST
Thousands of Americans wounded,
and actually hundreds of thousands
taken from their work, deprived of
work when jobs were plentiful, are
now looking vainly for the chance
that was promised so literally when
they went away.
The Government is rich. no matter
what may be said by those that hate
to pay taxes. The Government
COULD take care of the soldiers, no
matter what may be said by those
who made profits of millions while
the soldiers went to Europe losing
what little they had.
The hope of the men who did their
duty, and are now cheated because
the country refuses to do ITS duty,
is in the mass of the people includ-
ing YOU.
You will not waste time if you
write every ten days to your Con-
gresham and your two Senators
short letter on these lines-change
it, of course, in your own way.
My Dear Sir: am one of hundred
millions of people who felt gratitude
toward the soldier that went to the war.
And am one of at least ninety millions
Uho believe that the soldiers should be
PAID for What they did, remembered,
rewarded, taken care of if wounded,
and recompensed for loss Of their jobs
in any case.
am one that is Willing, indirectly or
through direct taxation, to bear part Of
the cost of rendering aid to the soldiers.
As one of your constituents l write
to urge justice to the soldiers upon you.
Yours very truly,
The Washington times., 1921-04-29
Historic Vine.

A grapevine which IL said to be the largest in
the world grows In Carpinteria, Cal Beneath
It's spreading branches 900 more persons
find protection from the suns heat The hrst
election in Santa Barbara county under American
rule vas held under Its rtpsning fruit
The Washington times., 1921-04-29

HIGH BROW" and several
other contribs call attention to
signs like these in several local
theaters:
please MOVE quietly on the
stairway. Remember you are
STILL in the theater."
The Washington times., 1921-04-29

That Illinois man who wore
borrowed bullet-proof vest on
his honeymoon is evidently a
disciple of preparedness.
HARVARD.
The Washington times., 1921-04-29

Read this curiously wor6ed envei-
ope, delivered, without delay. to the
G.. o, c.:
KINDLY deliver to that king of
mathematician. BILL PRICE,
who has succeeded. with COM
mendable diligence, In putting the
greatest Snown number OF nuts
into the smallest possible spaoA"
The Washington times., 1921-04-29

A busy bee,
As Franklin says,
Ia the one who gets the honey;
A busy man,
Advises Ben,
Is the one who gets the money.
BRIDGEPORT.
The Washington times., 1921-04-29

While you're in love
And your head in whirl.
Never skate on thin Ice
with another girl.
PHILIP EBERT.
"W. L. No 2" states that none Of
the answers we're correct as to the
number of triangles in the problem
OF Nv. L." He states that there are
90.
Cop-Hey, don't you know this IL
n one-way street2
Abe Tin new car)--Vell, I'm only
going one way. aind't ~
FULLER HOPS
The Washington times., 1921-04-29
A DOMESTIC PROBLEM.

He asked. "How much does Ro-me-o7
! always forget"
She answered, That depends. you know.
on what fair Juliet"
BOX CAR HARRY.
The Washington times., 1921-04-29
CONSCIENCE.

Tell me not, friend, that there Ia JOY
In using youthful vim
To plunge another fellow man
In darkness, drear and dim,
For every blow we give a fellow man
Will hurt us as much as him.
EDWARD J. IRVINE
The Washington times., 1921-04-29
AN INVITATION.

The editor of this column Is ex-
ceptionally proud that the famous
scientist of II and S-Dr. II. BREW
NOONSHEIN-hass sprung on an I'M
The Washington times., 1921-04-29
AWFUL!

AWFUL!
There was once a coed, Miss Kay,
who looked like a doll OF bisque.
She cut of her locks
And rolled down her socks,
And acted most awfully risoue.
The Washington times., 1921-04-29
CHRONOLOGICAL.

The humble bee 10 no bum,
For he always attends to business:
II he puts his stinger In your thumb,
He'll All your eyes with dizziness
II. SMITH.
The Washington times., 1921-04-29

Mike--Begad II wonders will
ever cease. say, Pat, hev yer
tried any OF this cowless milk?
Pat-Gwan. Moike, an don't be
so foolish. You know very well
Orve he'd goats for the last tweny-
Nv years. HARPER'S FERRY.
The Washington times., 1921-04-29

THE BUSY BEE.
Typograph of and lines about tho
busy bee:
The Washington times., 1921-04-29
Mr.. B. Baer
STRAW CIRCUS.

About technical time for
you to give tender young
Spring thoughts to new al
falfa helmet. May First Is
launching day for snappy
young mems shredded straw
hats.
The Washington times., 1921-04-29

About technical time for
you to give tender young
Spring thoughts to new al
falfa helmet. May First Is
launching day for snappy
young mems shredded straw
hats.
We've been pampered and
coddied with so many
amendments recently that
we've overlooked fact that
genuine Panama season was
almost here. Time to hold
Old Home Week In attic
and dig up new second
hand hat plus Palm Beach
uniform.
Woman needs new toaue
every time she sauints into
cruelest OF modern in
ventions. the mirror. She
grabs herself strange bon
net every week. She amt
hard to please. She is al
ways satisfied with hat she
is thinking about, but amt
bought yet.
Man f1atwheels along on
two hats every year. w ears
winter derby until he gets
sunstroke. Wears straw
hat until he gets lost in
blizzard. Generally buys
hay sunshade that makes
him look like ice cream
cone with ears. What diff
ference does it make? Birds
who look worst in hats are
cuckoos who look best in
halos.
Trouble with new timothy
skull awning is that 1t
makes your face suffer by
contrast and war tax. Best
part of straw hat Is on in
side. where nobody can APP
rreciate 1t. Imported gold
en- filigree initials. pink lace
lining and leather brake
band. Hat soon starts to
moult. Refreshing June
shower curls Il up like mon
keys tail. Commences to
fall apart like petals on
last rose of last Summer.
In July you can tip rim to
lady without disturbing
crown at all.
After you pipe hat your
neighbor buys, you realize
that Fourteen Points were
mt funniest things in world.
After neighbor wastes good
look on kelly you bought,
he goes home and laughs at
your chickens tearing IN his
vegetable garden. And he
figures he's got all the best
OF II.
That's what makes world
such nice place to live aud
die In. Everybody hands
you laugh. You stake every
body else to laugh. Funny
to lamp gent trying on
new hat. Balances Il on
skull like thlmble on over
ripe pumpkin. breaks out
into rash OF benevolent ex-
preston, wiggles ears ard
then does poses plsstiaue
in front OF battery OF mir
rors.
Only thing missing from
hat stpres Il a. wdust IN
The Washington times., 1921-04-29
COMPETITIVE SIGNS.

Two hat stores opening from tie
same steps on a prominent Washing
ton street are engaged in strong CONF
petition. The FIRST sign read as
follows: Main Entrance to the
Right"
The dealer on the left put UP .
sign which deads as follows: MAIN
ENTRANCE TO THE LEFT" Tho
dealer on the right took his sign
down. and a few days later this sis n
appeared: OUR MAIN EN-
T r A NCE TO THE r / G HIT"
UNCLE BOB.
The Washington times., 1921-04-29

chappie had lot Of dough.
And he Ionged to see 1t go.
And this poor hsh
He got his wish,
He backed a modern musical show.
CENTRAL NUTMEG.
The Washington times., 1921-04-29

These badly shell-shocked boys clawed
their mouths eeaselessly. II was q COM
mon. dreadful action. Others sat in the
The Washington times., 1921-04-29

Only thing missing from
hat stores IL sswdust on
noor and flying trapAsA.