The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1921-01-27
LAY OF THE LOvELORN L0WBR0W.

eeMee9!
LAY OF TIE L0vEL0RN L0WBR0W.
(From "The Coming Tower).
I copied me out Jane and she was thers In
Except she shs was vas . hishbrov. with . dome six
Her pet was reading funny eolyums. every
single day.
IA sheet that had colyumist shed hike ~
miles to buy.
Now, was nuts about this broad. can't crab
II shsda cracked. go douse your knob" her
word woulda been law.
She mined. .You read them colyums. 20 to
crawl out Of q spat.
I'd read with paper in my lap webster N
my paw.
X got nv right mitt calloused from lingering
that book. 49,
And then l up and says to her' inc tnlrtS-
seventh day.
"Now don't shoot straight up in the air, but
look now, give look
F, II think the ginks that pull that stun are
cuckoo in the bean,
Just hep me why them guys don't write good
old United States,
They're always splitting words that amt never
heard or seen,
When they could drop the same dope straight.
| there's something that hates
"A 1ape jest, iibe, jocundity, is what they call
| joke.
They say your konk is ligneous, when they
| Just mean it's wood.
! A feller's incondite when he's roughneck
|
l: they said he's tough guy. wouldn't that be
| just as good?
"A termagant's hard boiled doll. and aitercats
means fight,
| cute,
A goof with nyctalopia can't see SO good at
| night,
An awful rep hung on simp, means he's in
disrepute
For hours, sweet patoota, could prove is
there were need.
That any guy who writes colyum is a slckl,>
! ounce"
How could know that that was what she did
to earn her feed?
She sloughed me one across the peep and I
amt seen her since. -SCHLOSS.
THE foregoing is reprinted in a spirit of
Graveyard OF Gayety, are nothing if not
helpful. Doubtless there are those who reat:
this colyum who agree with "Schloss'" opinion
of all colyumists. but who, lacking his fluent
lpowers have been at loss to express that
lopinion. "Schloss" has set forth damning in
ldictment but perhaps some of our readers
would prefer to return one with specific ap-
lriication to this colyum. II so, the usual rates
will be paid for accepted manuscripts.
squirrel" Whisky. of Course.
(From the Detroit News)
Several witnesses testified this morn.
ing before the police trial board that Po-
atrolman Leo ]. LIE Mey of the Scotch
avenue station. drank something In
near-beer saloon at Anderson and Erie
avenues, jan Is, and then ran up a
pole outside the saloon and hid on the
roof.
AND that as Irv Cobb frequently remarks
reminds US Of story. Or rather, a bit of dia.
logue we overheard on a street car tothei
night. Thus:
He: I'VE oughta went to the show this aft
ernoon; wouldn't have been 50 crowded"
7 She: "Oh. but I'd rather go out at nigh
with you"
He (sofuy): You would! whyr
She: because the squirrels are all asleeI
then"
Better Say ~Goodby" Right Now or YsuTl
: BE Chipping II Do"
, From Heart and Home Problems").
Dear Mrs. Thompson: am boy 20
years Of age and have been correspond
Q ing with girl 10 years Of age. This
: girl has been talking love and she wants
. to be engaged. I like her, but do not
:. feel as she does. What can say?
a BRADY AND COCHRAN LEAVE RICK
!, ARD TO HOLD THE SACK: TEX SAYS TIL
FIGHT WILL BE."-Illinois State Register.
Will be what? A flzz!e:
Some More Worst Limericks.
The brilliant Galesburg boy,
His districts pride and Joy,
d Its chosen one,
"a At Washinston
"a Is king Of Illinois,"
l. In the great price-slashing race,
/ Where all may have place.
d The government
i. Marks down a cent
= Its Honored Fathers face.
"A. MS.
SPEAKING Of lmericks, Odeekay offers
contest suggestion. We had a limerick conte
in our early colyumistic career but the r
A spouse was bit weak. But here's the ides
You (any number Of you) are to submit lime
y icks to this peristyle WITH THE LAST LIN
L OMITTED, we to complete the limerick.
.e We pick the last line you had in mind your r.
10 ward remember this is Odeekay's idea-n
:. curs) Will be that you must get out this IN
yum for one day. Coniidentially, we don't mir
q admitting it's 4 great scheme-if It works R
II cause II It does work-we won't Form linz