The Ocala evening star. [volume] (Ocala, Fla.) 1895-1943, 1921-05-23
TIMEs-UNIoN TwIsTIFIED

What's the matter with our gener- /
ally placid friend, the Times-Union, |
which is so COMPOUNDED good natured !
that it just inspires any mean person
to try to made it mad. We hear
Uncle Willis Ball is in Tallahassee
with his kindly hand he keeps the
|pressboys straight and with his skill
ed one he gently influences the ship
of state. IL so he had better run back
to his sanctum sanctorum in the big
city by the st. Johns.
The T.-U.'s editorial page contains
every day column of honest to good
ness gemlets of paragraphs which we
always read with avidity. We don't
agree with all of them, but far from
any of them giving US mental indiges-
ton we consider them the multum in
parvoest stuff we peruse. second only
to our pocket testament of Omar
Khayyam. But when perusing said
column Sunday we received a shock
that almost Jared our few remaining
teeth loose. We came to paragraph
which said:
"From statement made in the
Ocala Star regarding the enforcement
of the Sunday blue laws in Miami, it
would appear that Editor Benjamin
believes that preachers are supermen
c. something. We didn't know that
any man was above the law"
Has our favorite Photographer be-
come cross-eyed, or did some malig-
nant person slip him a slug of moon
shine diluted. with gasoline just about
three minutes before he wrote that
mentally astigmatic paragraph? Look
you, Friend Photographer. our hand,
tho trembling with senility. has
never pounded such sentiment on
our battered typewriter. On the con-
trary, we have been laved in much
overheated water for refusing to see
anything supermanic about preach
er. Once upon time preacher, who
was also a school teacher, soundly
switched our youthful form in one OF
the few temples of learning in which
we obtained a fraction of our scanty
education. And for years after that
we regarded them all with a quiet
but ferocious suspicion. 1t took quite
lot of knocking about the world and
close acquaintance with several
preachers to raise their stock to par
where it has remained. Ocala preach
ers are pretty good bunch-are sat
. isfied to be mere men and good, every.
, day citizens. If they tried to make
-4believe they were anything else they
/ would have to run US out of town. We
don't remember writing anything
: about Miami preachers except to tel
the highly esteemed Herald of that
/ place that we didn't believe it could
i find any law to keep them from
preaching on Sunday. Everybody
who reads the Star knows it is oppos
, ed to blue laws.
{ At the very bottom of the column
: we found the following paragraph:
/, "Ocala Star in headline declare:
that Enough liquor was seized in the
state in May to make all Jacksonvill,
, drunk" and in response to this gra
tuitous slam it may be questioned thai
> half million gallons would do it
: Previous to state prohibition Jack
, sonville probably had many million
gallons of liquor available, and ths
records of drunks was not so much
y greater than at present"
n When we read this we were plumb
|, sure that Friend Photographer hat
imbibed that slug of moonshinoline
that it got in its deadly work jus
, as he finished the paragraph, and fel
a forward across his typewriter, and, a
!, Homer said so often in the Iliad
darkness covered his eyes," Wei
!, bet he didn't go to church Sunday
and we know that right now h
wishes his hat was as big around a
:, a washtub. We know. Last time W.
= drank moonshine, our head ached fo
! three days.
a The head that offended you sal,
!. half a million dollars, not half
million gallons, Friend Photographer
. We don't know how much liquor cost
by the gallon now a days. Some o
our plutocratie friends have bought $
much as quart sometimes, but W
haven't had money enough to buy
gallon for a thousand years.
/ least it seems that long. We mean
| no slam at jolly Jax. which we'll al
! ways love for the good times we ha
there years ago. We only alluded t
i Jacksonville because it was the big
| gest town in the state. Some of tn
> property was a steamship, whic
lcouldn't be swallowed-tho' som
fprnrarly Sfaurod norcay y,oirh+ %ru Il