The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1921-05-13
Read This and Learn Something New
About q Double Play.


[From the Aledo ull) Democrat
Our friend, the boss, pulled such
good one in his first trial, grounder to
short, that We must tell it. Les halted
the ball in professional style. runner
was coming from second to third. The
play was to throw to second for dou-
BILE. Ye editor, however, made mighty
heave to first with the pill. Both men
were safe.
"a MODEST girl" soothingly remarks the
friend to the makeup man, sis always beauti-
full, no matter how homely she may be-"
And-the world being what it is instead Of
what it should be-frequently she is lonely.
MEBBE EDISON CAN TELL US WHAT WE'VE
DONE TO DESERVE THIS
From Hits and Misses, Quincy Whig-
Journal]
In the Argus in Rock Island
Is colyumist who sits
On broad exalted highland
Looking down on all poor wits
Who are not like him. great highbrows;
He admits that he's a whizz,
I'm inclined to lift my eyebrows
As wonder what he is.
SPEAKING Of the Colyumist on the
Argus" continues our downstate admirer, I'VE
never saw more than two colyums that were
better than his. One was B. l.. It's Line O
Why drag in B. L. T.?
Probably 1t WAS Jack. Rabbit Texas
Is Full Of EN-.
From Mas Editorial Colyum]
A few days ago at San Leon, Texas,
the skeleton of large elephant was IN
earthed. And at Chenoweth, Ore,
cave yielded remains of a 3-toed horse
and prehistoric camel. which. when ma
ture, was no larger than jack-rabbit
WHY do you call the Argus MAJ" asks
Title. Well, if we must explain it again, all
right After we had erected The Tombstone
and chiseled the inscription we decided The
Argus was a punk name. So we rechristened
her Ma Solemn and now We call her Ma for
short.
SONNET,
When, in disgrace with fortune and mems eyes,
all alone beweep my outcast state,
And trouble deaf Heaven with my bootless
cries,
And look upon myself and curse my fate,
Wishing we like to one more rich in hope,
Featured like him, like him with friends
possessed,
Desiring this mans art, and that mans scope,
With that l most enjoy contented least;
Yet in these thoughts myself almost despising,
HAPPY think on thee-and then my state,
Like to the lark at break Of day arising
From sulen earth, sings hymns at Heavens
For thy sweet love remembered such wealth
brings
That then 1 scorn to change my state with
kings. SHAKESPEARE.
IN times Of colyumistic stress when So
called originality is at low ebb and we must
steal somebody's stuf-why, we believe in
choosing a distinguished victim. Besides
We liked that sonnet.
And What, Sir. Il . Hrienli
From the Chicago Post XVIII Column.1
| 2. An acquaintance is written re-
| ceipt in full or a discharge from all
claims.
GOVERNMENT kctuary Is Wizard on
Math. Rockford Register-Gazette.
| He is: Ask him, to count the rs in wizard
so Kind Of You!
From the Annawan 1ll) News.l
! We had fine item that we wanted
| to publish this week about certain
young lady-one Of the bellies of our
town. but as she specially requested that
we do not publish her name in the paper
and as we always like to please the la
dies. We refrain from publishing it.
| LOTS Of upstate folks are planning to visit
Galveston Sunday. May 15," wrote a limited
Press reporter. There's a reason. Or rattle,
hundred reasons. For 50 Texas beauties
have entered the annual bathing girl revue"
| Now what in the world can he mean h,
"a hundred reasons?
Keep Your Seat, David; Keep Your Seat
From the Chicago Tribune
Nobody, whether friend or foe. dis
putes the sagacity of the WEIGH states
men Who never fails. except upon his
feet
THE chances are we shall toss ahout al
night wondering what bit Of rood fortnns =. ~.
TO Thomas Woodrow Wilson Of Washinstnn
D. C., today. e''A
BERL.rw road. has replied yves" te
NOW We shall have peace-yes!
r E. NC.