Perth Amboy evening news., 1921-10-05

By Frederic y. Hnskin.

wagon. which a few years ago was confined to
cities with unique sightseeing features, is now
without exaggeration, ubiquitous.
Practically every town of any size or distin'
gushing features is equipped with at least one
| line of buses to show strangers its millionaire
row, city hall. and normal school.
The rubberneck wagon is typically an insti'
tuition of the day. Imagine. IL you can, any one
of your Victorian ancestors with his ideas OF
dignity and reserve, climbing up on the seat by
| the driver and rubbering with animation while
"a megaphoned individual shouted facts and
Jokes in his ears. This Is what travellers wan
nowadays. If there was any doubt of this, q
glance at the neatly packed buses rolling oNei
the streets of any big city would prove 1t.
Here in Montreal, an unusual situation pre-
walls. The quaint ola cabs and Nictorias nave
stood out against the invasion OF the big, Ell
| fcient- looking buses with their megaphont
spielers. But 1t is no use. The buses are mere
and the cabs will go eventually, though a lew
people do still prefer their old-world atmosphere
The reason why the cabs have been able tc
hold out against the autos is Mount Royal. THIS
mountain that rises back of Montreal is a pleas
ure park belonging to the city. 1t is a favorite
drive. or climb, with residents of the city. ano
strangers never miss driving to the top to enjoy
the broad view of Montreal below and the ST
Lawrence winding beyond.
They drive up because the city permits no au-
tomobiIes to climb Mount Royals winding roads
AT different times. sentiment has been aroused
in favor of removing the RESTRICTION on automo'
biles. But the constantly curving roads are re-
earded as too dangerous for swiftly moving We,
hicles, especially il the drivers should be mex
perienced, intoxicated. or reckless. So the cab
DleS are IN their element mere II III q feSHs
busting business up the mountain.
Montreal further varies the monotony OF the
usual assortment of green, red, blue ana whIte
buses, by having its own sightseeing street car,
This car is gaily decorated in gold paint and
electric light, so that it resembles the charlot on
the merry-go-round. 1t goes round the pase OF
Mount ROYAL and offers an hour ride Tor 20
cents. But elsewhere in the city, and in other
cities, the sightseeing ~utomob is what might
be called the tourists delight.
The interesting thing about the buses IS the
people who do the spelling. Generally they know
their harangue by heart and deliver II IN stem
torian tones with about as much expression as a
bow reading the newspaper editorials to his
grandfather.
Bus Jokes.
The buses hold to one belief, and that is that
The tourist likes Jokes. When the meSaphone
man is about to spring a good joke on a building
he goes through the same sort OF stunts that d
circus star does to preface his chief stunt. In
the circus, the music stops. the star STANDS SUN
and claps his hands, and waits. The audience
holds its breath and is all attention.
Well. the bus cicerone hands out a rev e1iu
facts, and then pauses. He is still wearing his
megaphone, and the bus waits anxiously Tor the
next pearls of wisdom. BY the time the atmos-
phere is sufficiently tense. the strategic point
has been reached. The megaphone man dra-
matically shoots out his right arm and says On
your left, ladies and gentlemen. the steal WORKS
sometimes referred 10 as the lily iah' OH
The crowd relaxes and giggles. And the lady
on the third row repeats the JOKE wrong U 'He
deaf lady back of her. u
possibilities about a city. 1t is a new game
You look at a building and wait for the mega
phone operator to point out the hidden humor'
or. maybe YOU try to spring one yourself mop
ing to achieve fame by having 1t incorporated
into a story told five times a day. 10 thousahuS
An insane asylum would obviously inspire any
guide to. point it out and add soothingly, we
don't go any closer" And a cemetery lneVltaDly
inspires the pun: "These ground are so beautltui
that people are dying to go there. -.
to NJ ov,i1a calls this Government
ROW. He points out the statue of General
Winfield Scott. representing the War Depart
ment. Daniel Webster is on the ie1t, repIesen
ing the State Department. AND Hahnemann,
he concludes with a sweeping gesture, on the
right. representing the Interior department
For the benefit of those who are not up on
medical history, the barker then explains that
Hahnemann was a doctor and repeats his JOKE
to be sure everybody gets II.
Sometimes the megaphone man taxes what
might be called a mean advantage to josh tne
bus driver who obviously can't shout a retort'
though he may reply under his breath. u
where the driver learned his trade" burbles
the guide joyously with a wink at the driver.
And again: Observation-Disclosures Grand
Dollar Hotel. The driver eats iunch heie eNN'
There is somewhat less of this irrepressible
gaiety among the Canadian g eon inst .nan a moth.
ing is too impressive or dignitied TO pc SAFE from
lest. The Goddess of Liberty Is always thee
young lady" and Broadway Is no" VAL STREET.
Prohibition Produces Humor.
Prohibition Jokes are f~avorites among the
guides. In Washington they point out In iowa
circle a corkscrew, camel, and jug, all represent
fed in shrubbery by clever planting ana TRIM
ming. strangely enough. the shrubbery art was
not inspired by prohibition. The symbols nave
been in Iowa Circle for some years-posslDiy
as a Cassandra like warning or lmpenolng late.
II is only since prohibition that their meaning
has been clear, and the whole story Is not yet
told. on one side of the park there is a mystic
rios hen done in shrubs which the guide mas not
worked into the analogy.
New York has a large assortment or pronlol,
tion Jokes. For instance, the fact that a canal
once ran through certain streets OF New fork
suggests schooners. and schooners suggesl
drinks. Hence, the story that schooners USED
IN he seen on the streets of New York In canal
DAYS, and could still be seen there until the dry
ness extended from the streets to interiors
three years ago. Tue,
we offer this detailed study to show you Iust
how it is done. Try it on your post once. On-
earth the ear splitting truth about the Town
square. When the personality OF the nome Town
begins to be appreciated the town is ripe Tor
the rubberneck wagon. 49,.
Undoubtedly IL is only a question or tHne
befere the most retiring hamlet in the country
will have its bus-model of 1912-and Its one
arm driver. who performs on a megaphone with
the other. to meet the trains.