davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Caledonian-record. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1920-current, 1921-11-05

TO RENT-Ground floor six
room tenement on Passumpsic St.
Inquire 77-2. 104 If
The Caledonian-record. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1920-current, 1921-11-05

TO RENT-Four room apartment
with bath. Furnished or unfurnisn-
ed. Tel. 643-W. 104 If
The Caledonian-record. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1920-current, 1921-11-05

FOR SALE-All kinds of wood,
dry or green, all lengths, A. C.
Quimby, st. Johnsbury. Phone
547-W. 102-111*
The Caledonian-record. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1920-current, 1921-11-05

FOR SALE-at a bargain one 6
year old work horse, weight 1900.
Absolutely sound and gentle. Will
sell for cash or exchange for
cattle. st. Johnsbury Grocery Co.
Tel. $50. 10S If
The Caledonian-record. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1920-current, 1921-11-05

FOR SALE-Barber shop and
pool room, selling on account of
sickness. A. A. ChampouX. 107-1l1
The Caledonian-record. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1920-current, 1921-11-05

TO RENT-Down stairs tenement
at so Main street. $40 per month.
Phone 328-1. IO5 If
The Caledonian-record. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1920-current, 1921-11-05
FOR SALE

FOR SALE-Stove wood. Deliv-
cred. A. 7. Young. Tel. 1922.
108 If
The Caledonian-record. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1920-current, 1921-11-05

FOR SALE-Stands. small wood
stoves and heater, pillows, ward
robe. couch hammock, blankets,
davenport and chairs. McNall,
% Main street, Phone 63-2. 108tf
The Caledonian-record. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1920-current, 1921-11-05

WANTED-Position on farm
with tenement furnished. E. H.
Woods, Danville, Vt. 109-11l%
The Caledonian-record. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1920-current, 1921-11-05

WANTED, WOMEN and GIRLS
We want Is power sewing ma
chine operators. Light, easy work.
Good wages guaranteed. Bonus
paid each week. Board and room
in our dormitory under supervision
Of Matron. If interested apply at
once. Richmond Underwear Co.,
Richmond, Vermont. 100-1l1
The Caledonian-record. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1920-current, 1921-11-05

TENEMENT to rent at IA South
Main street. Gas and Electric
lights. Tel. 84-11. 106-111
The Caledonian-record. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1920-current, 1921-11-05
Classified Advertisements

for each thereafter
Ten cents booking charge unless cash in advance Minimum charge rs
The Caledonian-record. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1920-current, 1921-11-05

FOR SALE-New Springfield 80
cahbre rifle. Just the thing for
big game. Will sell for $35. Il.
ID. Howe, Caledonian office.
110-111
The Caledonian-record. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1920-current, 1921-11-05

TENEMENT TO RENT--not
water, bath, gas. 1151a Railroad
street. Telephone 525-M. 10 If
The Caledonian-record. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1920-current, 1921-11-05

FOR SALE-Metz touring car in
running order with complete cleo
trical equipment. Good tires ant
upholstery. Price $500. E. A.
Mongeon, St. Johnsbury Cente:'
110-113
The Caledonian-record. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1920-current, 1921-11-05

TO LET-Two furnished rooms
for light housekeeping. Tel.
227-W. 10 Summer Street.
110-115*
The Caledonian-record. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1920-current, 1921-11-05

FOR SALE-Child's crib and mat
tress. In good condition. Mrs.
John Galbraith, Passumpsic, Tel,
1871. 10 If
The Caledonian-record. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1920-current, 1921-11-05

TO LET-Three furnished rooms
for light housekeeping at 80 Rail
road street. 10 If
The Caledonian-record. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1920-current, 1921-11-05

CIVIL service examinations, st.
Johnsbury, November. Positions
$1400-$1600. Age, Is upward. Elk
perience unnecessary. For free
particulars, instruction, write J.
Leonard Former Civil Service ex-
aminer) 1914 Equitable Bldg,
Wa chinUton n q 11n--11I
The Caledonian-record. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1920-current, 1921-11-05

TO RENT-First class room, fur
nished, heated and liohted. Inquire
at the Woman's Club House 7
Cherry st. 1tO-112
The Caledonian-record. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1920-current, 1921-11-05

WANTED-Two first class filters
for box shop. Apply to Skinner
Lumber Co. lift
The Caledonian-record. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1920-current, 1921-11-05

MAN or WOMAN wanted, salary
$50 full time, 75c an hour snare
time, selling guaranteed hosiery to
wearer. Experience unnecessary.
International Hosiery Mills, Nor
mstown, Pa. 111*
The Washington times., 1921-04-12
Congress and Our School
Necessities
By BILL PRICE.

Unless the majority in Congress agrees upon limited
legislative program for the extra session. there is hope that
the pressing needs of the District will receive welcomed
attention. particularly the public schools which, through
differences among statesmen, Indifference without
capacity to for the young of Washington So deficient
public school system in buildings that thousands OF
children get only half days instruction, while the con-
geston great in the high schools to seriously hamper
and retard the pupils.
1t is fortunate for Washington that the District Com
mees of House and Senate to be composed OF men
who really understand the requirements of large cities and
who want Washington become the grandes city in
the world Too often in past years the District committees
made up Of from rural districts without ex-
perience in municipal affairs 1t impossible for them
to fully grasp the proper viewpoint for satisfactory les
laton for the District.
AS to funds meet the demands of Washington schools,
is to be hoped that Congressman FOCHT who will head
the House District Committee will pgeonhoe his sugges
ton of raising 100000 by additional taxation
upon water If every important local problem is to
be met by special levy of taxes upon District people
will be manifesty unfair.
Under a specific $3.50 plan of taxation between the
local and Federal Governments there accumulated In the
Treasury $0O000O of District funds available for
school other purposes If Congress is to do away with
the half andhalf for 6040 basis then let the latter
vail without resorng to special taxation to be borne wholly
by District people that scheme should continue it would
not be long before District people would be taxed to DEATH
and practically forced to provide the upkeep of the Capital
City of the nation.
The Washington times., 1921-04-12
To Remedy an
Old WrOnq
.OR eighty-three years officers Of
the regular army have received

TOR eighty-three years officers of
the regular army have received
longevity pay and allowances.
Even officers who left the service to
join the Confederacy afterward had
their status, longevity pay and al
lowances restored.
But under the technical rulings of
one Comptroller of the Currency, re-
versed by his successors, certain pay
and allowance claims filed during his
term of office were disallowed. Only
an act of the Congress can validate
them.
Because of this special ruling the
heirs of Generals Sheridan, Sherman,
Thomas and other Union COM
manders cannot get paid, although
the heirs of Generals Lee, Jackson,
Beauregard, Longstreet and other
Confederate officers have received
allowances.
An effort will be made in the new
Congress to correct this injustice.
Congress provided in 1888 longevity
pay" for officers in the regular army
after exceptionally long service. A
case in point is widow living in
Clinton County, N. Y, aged eighty
eight, whose husband enlisted as
.ergeant in 1847 and died a brevet
brigadier-general after nearly fifty
years service. There is due in this
instance nearly $4,000, withheld
these many years by order of some
bureaucrat in this city.
The Washington times., 1921-04-12
HUMANlSMS \
William AthertOn Du Puy-

1t is remarkable, says Tasker Lowndes Oddie,
ency seems to call forth some peculiar circum-
stance that effectually meets II.
Down in Death Valley not long ago the sena-
tor had a most remarkable experience. illustra-
ting just this theory. He motoring down
into this parched inferno with a party OF Eastern
capitalists who were interested in copper mine.
Among them was Charles NJ Schwab
Away out in the desert they met two prospec-
tors with decrepit horse and rickety wagon.
bound for civilization that one of the them, Who
was suffering from blood poisoning. might be
operated on The railroad was yet days away
and the mans condition was desperate. He would
never have lived to make II.
But member of the Schwab party was DR..
Jim Brown. of Pittsburgh. one Of the most emf
nent surgeons in the United States. SO, out there
in the vast soltudes OF the desert, very deli
cate operation was performed. and OF those
seek with death administered by the demon
thirst, was saved that he might continue his
quest @ ,, .nat today or Inc next month or next year
Goldfield to add illimitable wealth to the world
William Jennings Bryan tells this story Of the
most attentive auditor he ever acquired in all
his exerience of public speaking
He was delivering an address up Minnesota
way and had not been going long when he
tced man right down in front who was con-
centrating attention upon him in most unusual
way. The speech went on and on, but this fixed
concentration never varied 1t fascinated the
speaker. gratified him. He spoke right to this
man. acquitted himself rather better than usual
because of his attentive inspiration.
When the address he came down from
the platform shook this man by the hand, thank
ed him for his evident appreciation, told him what
a help II had been
Il would like to ask he said, "if II is not too
personal, just what quality 1T in my per-
formance which held you unwaveringly to it."
"Well," said the stranger, 81 have heard a
great many speeches. l always go to all the
speakings that are held round here. But you
are the first man ever heard speak whose back
eeth could all the time"
Those who used to hear the elder Theodore
Roosevelt speak will remember that he had a
voice that none too good for the purpose
and that as 1t sscended the scale with the rise
of the enthusiasm Of its owner IL used to break
into a high falsetto.
since young Theodore Roosevelt came to WASH
ington and began to speak at banquets, IL has
been observed that his voice is much fuller than
that of his father but that II has this same pc
culiar knack of breaking at the higher ranges.
Copyright. 1921, BY Public Ledger Coz
The Washington times., 1921-04-12
Get Out and
Stay Out
NONGRESSMAN BRITTEN, from

CONGRESSMAN BRITTEN, from
Chicago, declares that he in
tends to introduce a resolution
into the new Congress calling upon
the President of the United States
to make representations to France
and to the League of Nations in
favor of Withdrawing the black
troops from Germany.
We doubt not the unreasonable
atrocity of keeping these troops in
Germany, but we do doubt the wis
dom and the dignity of Mr. Britten's
contemplated resolution. We are out
of Europe in spirit now. We do not
want to stick our official noses in
that unsavory pie again if we can
help it. We take it that the new Ad-
ministration will keep it's promise
and obey its instructions from the
people to withdraw the few soldiers
which we now have in Europe.
If France wants to continue the
course which she has steadily pur-
sued since the armistice, of alienat-
ing American public opinion and of
depriving herself of the advantage
of that admiration and sympathy
which the majority of the people
entertained for her, we do not see
how we can prevent it.
Some day France will return to So
briefly. That combination of bank
ers, steel magnates, monarchists,
miitarists and war profteers which
now rules France will sometime be
overthrown, and the French peasant
and the French workmen will be
represented effectually in the gov
eminent.
When that time comes and the
new regime takes an account of
stock, it will find how much it has
lost, how much French imperialism
since the war has cost France.
If she thinks she can afford to
throw away the great asset Of
American sympathy and admiration
for the justice of her cause during
the war and the heroic way she
maintained it, let her take the risk.
We cannot wetnurse France or any
other European country. We do
not want to do it. Indeed, the
American people are determined that
we shall not.
The Washington times., 1921-04-12
Once-Overs
Copyright 1921. Interns onai Feature Service. Inc.
LEARN CONTROL
ny J. J. MUNDY.

II a husband and wife cannot play partners
in a card game without displaying their dis
pleasure in the course of a game they should
not play together.
The auarrelinr couple is mighty disagree
able to the others.
ly and social game take all the enjoyment
from the ones who must hear the ill-temper-
ed words.
wilmer who blames his or her partner for
lack OF success
A student OF human nature can tell a lot
about you after playing a game.
Men OF big affairs-brosdminded,s success
ful men-do not become excited over trifles
such as a card game.
Real business men show self-control even
when they play.
Control " Q habit Of mind ....
The Washington times., 1921-04-12
ORIGINALITY

FRED ]. SCHwAB, HENRY
SMITH, "AUNTY BELLE HUM"
and many other fans who con-
tribute good original matter to
the G. o. c. endorse the editors
appeal for more originality, that
the fame of the column may con-
tinue to spread. Many ardent
fans thoughtlessly send in jokes
that have lately appeared else
where. As they are written as
original, however. 1t is not always
possible to know that they are
copied.
So. let's all whoop-'em-up now.
with the understanding that orig
inal fun Is going to have right of
way over doubtful material.
The Washington times., 1921-04-12
The embarrassing moment
when a cakie's corset strings
break in the presence of a crowd.
II. o. +.
WHAT IS A HIGH-BROws

DEAR BILL:
l suppose all of us nuts should be .
''u-nut" in matters of G. o. c. policy.
but I'm in favor of admitting the
''high-brows."
The popular conception of that spe-
eies. ! am sure. Is derived from .
who is, by no means, unlovely and is
essentially a NUT. Then. too, sub
rosa" I've been fiattering meself that
All who had gotten In, on merit. are
high-b -brows and have a suspicion that
the Editor. IL searched. might be
caught with the goods on him. I.C
The Washington times., 1921-04-12
G;1EARls nSsEElff@{
THE PRESIDENTS BIG BED.

Seeing in The Times that Pres
ident Harding Is having \ he'd
made that is eight feet long and
a gentleman mentioned in the
Bible, who had an iron bed meas
uring nine cubits in length and
four cubits in breadth. AZ a cubit
is supposed to be one-and-a-half
feet you may judge of the sleep
ing space. The narrative Is found
in Deuteronomy. 3rd chap, 11th
verse. Read IL. II. SMITH
The Washington times., 1921-04-12
FOUNDERING THE o. G.

DEAR BILL: 80
/ never knew just what you did
with the contribs that i wrote
Until heard the story of
The hungry Once Goat.
He sure must be a hungry goat.
This fact cant be denied,
For tho I've sent q barrel or more,
He's stili unsatisfed.
How well I know how he can eat:
But there's a limit to his volume
so I'll keep right on sending them
As long as there's a column.
have sent you In some more.
And I'm sending more In still,
Until I've foundered that old goat,
And founder him. l will!
Then you'll have to put one In,
Won't you. MR.. BILL?
DYING HARD.
The Washington times., 1921-04-12
Sign in livery stable: ''Never
tell your secrets in the presence
of horses They carry tails"
A. o. A.
BOwIE! BOWIE!

The Cigarette" doesn't seem
to be making any smoke"
around the Bowie track. This
boss should be re-christened Tie
Plug" That's smokeless.
The Morning Face" has to look
exceedingly good at Bowie be-
fore the boys put anything on It.
Stifrerent with the goils at home
though. When the morning
face" looks bad, they hop right on
IT with everything they have
lip-stick, rouge. nall.
HARPERS FERRY.
The Washington times., 1921-04-12
MERGER SINCERITY.

Sing a song Of eight cents
Now. public don't you sigh
Just because you thought the merger"
Would take place before July.
The street car situation Is up;
The p. u. c. will make things hum
We're going to see just how sincere
Are Aessrs. HAM and HAMILTON.
JULES BACKENHEIMER.
The Washington times., 1921-04-12
A STRONG ASSERTION.

II you kiss an old maid she thinks
.hc's doing you a remarkable fauo'',
ohereas u you kiss a widoto she 10
thankful That Is phy the old maids
hope no chance toith the toidotos phen
1t comes to n,arryia0. X. X.
(This brings up a question that the
Columniers may wish to express opin-
ions about.
Do old maids value their kisses
very highly and are they stingy with
them?
Is 1t true that widows are 'thank-
full" for kissesD
The Washington times., 1921-04-12
Stars and Stripes

Greed is the offspring of Plenty passing
for the child of Need.
Gold is taken from the dirt of the earth to
be mingled with the dirt Of mems deeds
A liar has dishonest ear as well as dis
honest tongue
The Washington times., 1921-04-12
A CRY OF DISTRESS.

Vice President Coolidge
says there should be JUS
tios in business. Evidently
he has been pinched By the
profiteera- ..
The Washington times., 1921-04-12
Can You Truthuly
Repeat These Words !?
l am thorough.
l am thoughtful.
l am courteous.
L am cheerful.
l am logical.
l am economical.
l am happy.

This will be published in two mil
lion different newspapers, seen by
ten millions of Americans. What
percentage will THINK about these
questionsi Mere READING is moth
t! ing. THINKING is all. Thinking
is to reading as digestion is to eat
ing.
Which is the most important of
! Mr.. Patterson's seven questionsi
And what question would you ADD
to the seven? Do not Immediately
read on to get the answer of an
editor, but give your OWN answer
before you read further.
To be ECONOMICAL is impor-
tant, for economy means independ-
ence, and the absence of independ-
ence means slavery.
To be "logical" is important. But
! to say 81 am logical" may mean
that you lack logic. The logic of
today is the folly of tomorrow, and
the absolutely SETTLED FACT of
today is the discarded superstition
of tomorrow.
To be CHEERFUL is important,
for cheerfulness expands the mind,
tempers the nerves, steadies them.
lCheerfulness, however, is thing to
be enjoyed, not commanded; it is the
by product of good work.
To be COURTEOUS is highly i'm
Iportant, for politeness is to business
twhat oil is to the automobile. You
|may have the best machine in the
lworld, but if you don't oil it there
Twill soon be no machine.
You may have any amount of bust
fness ability, and unless you happen
| to be at the top, dominating, You
won't do much if you lack the oil
lof courtesy.
To be THOROUGH is important.
ENo man ever could say that he ever
was entirely THOROUGH, for to be
Thorough means to take out of your
lsef EVERYTHING that is within
yourself. No man can be sure that
he has done that.
The most important of Mr.. Pat
terson's lines is "I am thoughtful"
If man can say that, knowing what
it means, he is to be congratulated.
THINKING is everything. 1t is
the preliminary real work, the rest
follows. The real factory in which
you live and work is your brain. And
thinking is the work done in that
brain.
The difference between men and
animals is the difference Of thinking.
The difference between the man
who takes orders and the man who
gives them is the difference of think
ing. The difference between him
that rules and him that humbly
obeys is difference of thinking.
If you think, you acquire power
and increase it-assuming that there
is concentration in the thinking.
And if you do not think, then you
are drifting on the stream.
What would you ADD to Mr.. Pat
terson's seven Gnesi You would
certainly add this:
< I AM DISCONTINUED.
You might leave out the words,
II am happy" and substitute, "I
am disconnected" in place of it.
1t really doesn't matter much
whether you are happy or not while
you are climbing toward something
worth while. But it matters most
vitally whether or not you are DIS
The Washington times., 1921-04-12
ADAM NEVER SUFFERED.

Apropos the talk of old Jokes, listen
to this true rhyme by SHORTY
whatever trouble Adam had.
No man could make him sore
BY saying. when he told . joke
I've heard that one before
The Washington times., 1921-04-12
THE LINE PUZZLES.


The last line puzzle of FRED
GEILINGER was deciphered as con-
tanning this:
81 thank you for the blackberry
cordial reception you gave last week
to Fred Geilinger.
"Some of Bills comments are
worth reading.
"Why not give the ex-Kaiser a
job in Delaware 2"
Correct answers were received
from P. D. O., "PEGGY BEE
"DEVILESS," A. o. M, MAR
GUERITE McARTHUR, PLAIN
PRINTER" FRANCES COLLINS,
MARGARET CHISM. MARY Nc
MAHON, Mrs. w. H. LOVELESS,
"OIMNOT," ATHLETE" p. L. T.,
HELEN H., AGNES C. ROLLINS.
1.-TWO H and S FANS" MACK S.,
MARGARET T., RANDOLPH BEL
FIELD, "WICKED EYES" "STE-
NO-TEBO CLUB"
A number of the above found
HELEN HUNTERS line puzzle 20
contain Heard and Seen, Washing
ton, ID C." In addition. this puzzle
was solved by BERENICE H. s.,
SAM RIECHMAN. LITTLE EVA"
The Washington times., 1921-04-12
Add Question
To This List

HRR. PATTERSON, the cash reg
lister manufacturer, prints this
.A'A to be placed before his many
thousands of employees:
The Washington times., 1921-04-12

/ know some boys and girls
who work for a man named
Katz. They are known as
"Katz's kittens" DUTCH.
The Washington times., 1921-04-12

Street car conductors may be
mild-tempered, but they tell
many a person where to get OF.
BAL POLLY.
The Washington times., 1921-04-12
pLEACuING pANAMAs.

VIII some OF the G. O. c. folks.
who know tell the others OF US
who do not know how TO prop
erly bleach Panama hat7 I
don't like the whitewash tr.at-
ment the shoe shine people put
on and would like an old-fash-
toned bleach that will iast n long
time. JOHN II. MCCARTHY
The Washington times., 1921-04-12
Mr.. B. Baer
A NATION OF wHIsPERERs

Before the deluge of arid
ness, Americans used to
stampede around with voices
as thick as glue and twice
as nasty. They used to beat a
fraternal alarm on each
others pinch-back coats with
fists that were loaded with
friendship and primed for
the distilled syrup of the
malt. In voices that were
amplified by a century of
crowded freedom they asked
each other what they would
have. We were a nation of
walrus tenors.
The mirrored bawling alleys
were Goa gulated with clients
who roared in spasms of
acoustic grinding genius.
Then they would step out
into the night and holler
neighborly greetings to the
moon, the stars or any
planet within hearing dis
tsnce.
But since prohibition put
the dry blanket on the spigot
calisthenics, we have be-
come a. clan of whisperers.
We walk around with heads
clear as the Liberty Bell. And
Just as cracked. The rash of
whispering has been an
alyzed by scientists who
have tarred and feathered
1t under the labratory title
of Bootleggus Yellus.
Bootleggus Squawkus Is
caused by the Soft and Lows.
which have sprung up like
mushrooms and act like
toadstoois. A Soft and Low
Is a place where everybody
sings two quiet octaves be-
low a whisper and a ventril-
oquist gets a drink provided
he can throw his voice over
a transom. through the eye
OF a needle and around four
revenue agents.
Two burly suburbanites
meet each other ankling for
the train and chirp good
morning to each other in
hale and hearty whispers.
They smoke a cigar in
whispers. They whisper how
dy to the Hootchlegger. AS
each whisper is cashed,
their voices get weaker and
weaker.
When they get home to
the wife their voices can
just be family detected with
the aid of earmuffs and n
stethoscope. Which Is just
as well.
-A
A CRY OF DISTRESS.
Vice President Coolidge
says there should be JUS
The Washington times., 1921-04-12
A CREED!

I would be trr 'Sr there are those that
trust me,
I would be pure for there are those who
care:
I would be strong. for there is much to
suffer:
7 would be brave. for there is much TO dare b;
I would be friend of all-the foe, the
I would be giving. and forset the gift;
/ would be humble, for ! know my weak
ness
I would look up. and laugh. and love, and
iiftl SHORTY.
The Washington times., 1921-04-12

H. o. p, "out on the Dakota
prairie,"- writes: 81 get The Times,
with H and S and sure enjoy the
G. o. c. as much as when l was in
Washington. Don't let ANYBODY
change the old column" adding this
rhyme:
whether Bill IL working hard.
Or resting In the hay,
He's sending smiles out by the yarA-
To the folks that far away.