St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1921-02-26
JACKSONVILLE MOVIES FROM
REAL LIFE.
-(By Prof.~Roland Morgan.l

| (6y fTOl.~1lOlduH MOTSdn.
| / got valentine from some sweet
Ill honey gal in. Covington, but Oh,
shux, she didn't sign her name and
love verses without senders' name
is like having Worcester sauce and
no meat. Write again, 10.
| Wildwood.s humble bee froze to
death Saturday night-a fitting end
for all fatterers.
Beware, girls! He Vamps, you
can tell 'em easy.
Last Saturday while waiting for
bunch of fish in that-pond on the
sidewalk. A franchise should be let
| for ferry on this sidewalk. All,
Mr., 1 told you so. Get busy.
| Mr. Editor, I was told if you are
pretty when you are young you get
| ugly when you grow older. Now, If
dem is facts, dair sho muster bin er
epperdimmick er ugly babies in Gov
ington erbout Is years ago, judging
! from all dem pretty girls seed up
there last Sunday, en- couldn't see
all of them cause | couldn't bet at
der postof1ce, der raleroed depo and
der church all at oncet. Never mind.
I'm coming back and bring my friend
to help me see them all
/ am a birdologist and for the
benefit of my inexperienced friends
contemplating securing young mock
ing birds to cage, give below "a safe
method to distinguish male from
female as female doesn't sing in
cage. Watch closely now. II MAZE.
jumps up and eats first that is the
male, and if the female jumps UP
and eats first, why that's the female.
Simple, isn't it.
Spring must be close now. Saw a
beautiful cow-slip on a banana peel
and a daisy girl with peach-bloom
complexion, violet eyes, and roses in
her cheeks.
Dear Reader, If my dope amt all
you expect don't be hard on me. /
had so much trouble last week. |
got a shave Saturday morning and
that cold snap came on and my beard
was frost-btten and l got rheuma-
tism in my chin and it went up and
settled in my think tank-lots OF
room there for something to settle.
Then my horse stood all night in the
rain and died next morning from a
complication of floating kidneys and
water on the brain and went out
to buy me a good family mule and
right there, beloved brothers and sis
tiers, I got trouble, a double dose,
thirty-third degree, when a fellow
sold me a glass-eyed, rubber-lipped,
whale-bOne head, son-of-Satan, and
told me he guaranteed him to be
family mule. O, boy! he was a
family mule, all right. It took the
whole family and two big niger
women to get him in the stable. The
first day / had him he kicked me ~
times with his front feet. could
not count his hind legs, but they
sounded like machine-gun gone
crazy. The only way could get
close enough to that mule to put
bride on him, I had to blind-fold
him and while making noise like
a bale of hay sneak UP on his deaf
side. / thought I'd work him yes
terday, but I didn't, he worked me.
Whenever let him out of the stable
the only way to catch him again is
| to set traps for him. He is so tough
lightning struck him and he got mad
and kicked that lightning back UP in
the air like a sky-rOcket. | hitched
him to a rubber-tired run-about and
he run about 40 yards and kicked
that run-about in about 40 million
pieces in about ten seconds. The
reason l bought that ungrateful
critter was that / got stuck on his