davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star., 1921-04-10
4 Story BY Ring ". Lardner

them & she says the Carrys is probly
going to so she going to ask Mrs.
Carry is she going & if she is that
will mean we will half to higher a
girl some where's to come e. stay with
the children vile we go to the dance.
Regards to Mary. FRED.
Allison, ILL.,. Oct II.
DROTHER CHARLEY. well Charley
we had some more trouble since
the last time l wrote you letter only
I don't know If its trouble or not
but Grace feels pretty bad bout
it tho l says she shouldent ought to
worry because the Carrys wasent no
good any way. Grace was tigureing
on haveing Mrs. Carry come over Il
stay with the Children vile we was
to the big dance next wk. il Mrs.
Carry wasent going to the dance
her self SO when the CarryS come
to play cards the other night Grace
asst them was they going to the dance
they says no what dance & Grace
told them & asst Mrs. Carry would
she come over and take care of the
children or that is she & Mr.. Carry
would just half to set in the house
because the children would be a sleep
only of corse it wouldent be right
to go off & leave them a lone &
the Carrys could just set here & play
cards or do any thing they had a
mind to. Well Mrs. Carry asst who
was giveing the dance & Grace says
Evening star., 1921-04-10

parler & set down so Grace went in
& Mr.. Hamilton says what can I do
for you & Grace was kind of i'm
barrist e. couldent say nothing Il
Mr.. Hamilton says aint you made
miss take or may be you think i can
give you some informashun a bout
some thing & Grace seen that was a
good chance to find out what was
the name of the peopl that lived in
the next house next TO the Hamiltons
so she asst him & he says there lame
is Carpenter & she says what bus
ness was they in e. Mr.. Hamilton
says IL you want to find out any
thing more bout them you will half to
ask them them self. So Grace says 1T
dident make no diffrunts weather she
knowed any thing more a bout them
or not & then she says hows your
wife & Mr.. Hamilton says what are
you trying to get at. He says I'm
sure you must OF made some miss
take because neither 1 or Mrs. Hamil-
ton have did any thing against tho
law or the Carpenters neither & Grace
says what do you mean & Mr.. Ham
ilton says what do you mean your
self comeing a round trying to pry
In to some bodys affares. We amt use
to receiving calls from female detec-
tives. & then all of a sudden Grace
caught on TO what was he getting at.
Yon see Charley AI. Hau6kxen thet
Evening star., 1921-04-10

says it sounded like Mr.. Hamiltons
voice out side the door Il he ast Mr..
Carpenter was he arrested & Mr.. Car
penter went out on the porch & Grace
couldent hear what was they saying
but OF corse they was come pareing
nots a bout the joke because she herd
them laughing out on the porch. Well
finely Mr.. Carpenter come in again *
finely Mrs Carpenter an Grace dident
she have some more calls to make so
Grace says she did Il she left the Car
penters & forgot to find out from
them what was the name of the peopl
in the Sd house a way from us but
1t dident make no difYrunts because
the next house told her the name &
the name is Carry & Mr.. Carrys the
man that keeps the grocery store or
Of them & Grace e. Mrs. Carry had
a nice long talk & Grace told her a
bout what come off at Hamiltons &
Carpenters & Mrs. Garry says she
would bet Grace that they wouldent
neither the Hamiltons or the Carpen-
ters call on US & Grace says why not
& Mrs. Carry says because they aint
neither / Of them called on me yet &,
l have been here over / yr. & Grace
says well did you call on them & Mrs
Garry says of corse not so they must
be some bad blood some where's that
we don't know nothing a bout.
Well Grace went to Moreheads from
Carrys e. seen the Moreheads & then
come hoanA 6 po0 can bet i ,Uas glad
Evening star., 1921-04-10

wasent sore at them but she was sore
at me and IL you can tell what license
she had your a wonder.
thot for a minut they may be might
not of got my letters & then 1 remem-
bered that l dident male the letters but
stuck them under there doors when |
come home night before last SO they
couldn't help from getting them.
Finely l couldent stand it no longer
q beat 1t out of the house & took
long walk. She was better when
come back & says she was sorry
shed oarryed on so & she supposed
I thot I was trying to do the right
thing but Id made a awful mes out of
It &, 1 says could l help 1t if them
peopl dident have no manners & she
says no 1t wasent my falt but after
this she wsht / would leave her to do
the inviteirg to the house. She dident
half to wish that Charley because I've
had more then enough for my share.
The Carrys is comeinR over to-
night to play cinch & may be we can
get rid of some OF our big Sun. dinner
that's still left yet because they dident
neither OF US have the heart to eat it.
Regards to Mary. f. A. GROSS.
y
Allison. Ill, October 3.
DEAR CHARLEY. well Charley they
- looks like we wasent dead ones
after all. A little boy come to the
house after supper tonight e. give me
a letter only it wasent no letter but
a invitation to a dance here in ALI
Evening star., 1921-04-10

when she finely got home because nt-
tie Ed & the baby both Of them gifts
pretty mad bout. 5 P. NJ in the after
noon & they was giveing me all
could do.
& Mrs. Carry says next time Grace
wants to go out she can bring the
babys over to her house & the higher
girl will match them.
RgdS. to Mary.
F. A. GROSS.
X X
Allison, Ill.,, Aug 81.
DEAR CHARLEY. well Charley it
- aint nothing much come off since
the last time 1 wrote you a letter
and they aint nothing much to write
about & l wouldent be writeing only
l was figureing on takeing a bath
tonight and l cant take no bath so
I'm WrIteing you a letter inSted and
why l cant take no bath is because
the waters shut off all over the town
Il the water CO. says may be it wont
be turned on for or days.
of course l can wash my hands
down town to head quarters but
unlest they go over to the Carrys
where they got sistern & that
makes it pretty tough on Grace but
little Ed IL the baby wont make no
holler and they would be tickled to
deth if they dident never half to be
washed.
Any way they all ways holler like
they was being murdered when you
touch them with soap and water
The Hamiltons has a sistern to & I
asst Grace why dident she use there's
on acct. 1t being next door to us &
handy but Grace is kind of sore on
Mrs. Hamilton for not comeing over
TO see u.s. She will come over all
right when she gets up her nerve &
] wouldent worry a bout 1t il I was
Grace but you know how wommen
feels & probly Marys the same way.
Grace has called on about IS or
20 famlys now & left the kids over
to the Carrys vile she was makeing
the calls & her and Mrs Carry is
pretty good trends & Mr.. & Mrs.
Garry comes over often in the evning
for game of cards.
I'm thirsty and I guess it's a good
thing we got a couple gallons of
home brew in the house because they
amt no water and I and Grace can
drink the beer when wear thirsty e.
the kids can drink milk so we wont
starVe to deth because of some thing
to drink only we cant take no bath
in beer or milk.
The man from the water co. saws
this don't happen often I mean the
pump brakeing down & he says 7
Evening star., 1921-04-10

Treasury. unannounced. Just to look
around a bit Although every paper in
the country had published as fact that
he would be the next Secretary, Mr..
advised by Mr.. Harding of his selection
for the post Two days later the selec-
ton was confirmed by the President to-
be on his way north from Florida.
I next saw Mr.. Mellon about Z
O'Clock one evening at the Treasury.
He had been a cabinet member three
weeks and developed. through choice
or necessity, the habit of a twelve
hour working day, not counting an
hour off for lunch. He was surprised
by the lateness of my call.
The life of newspaper man would
not suit me-" he remarked, for there
seems to be no beginning or ending
of his work. 1t just goes on"
He looked upon me, I thought, with
pity, and I resolved to turn the sit
uation to my advantage. If possible,
and try for an interview with a
kick" in it. I led Off with the harm
less question Of whether he consid-
cred the country was spending too
much money.
Right here made tactical blunder.
No question Is closer to Mr.. Mellon
than the need for national economy.
But he has a decided aversion to an
swering questions which might rest
upon a variety of conditions that
could not be comprehended or covered
in a brief answer. And he said So
but very pleasantly.
Ny next effort was better aimed. 1t
went direct to what he thought Of a
sales tax. And he told me. Some
features are good: some not SO good.
1t Is q broad question which requires
careful consideration and one he
would not care to answer without
going into full details.
This hunu4ht mo to . question ]
Evening star., 1921-04-10

THE Gross Family Is Settled in Its Sub
urban Home-Of Course, You Remember
the Crosses-Ring Lardner's Story, Own
Your Own Home" Reproduced the Letters Of
Fred A. Gross, City Detective, to His Brother
Charley on the Woes of a City Flat Dweller
Who Decided to Build in Suburb-Mr.
Lardner Now Offers Another Set of Letters.
Read Them and Forget Your Troubles.
Evening star., 1921-04-10

she was a detective on acct the card
shed give the higher girl & he thot
it was her card & not my card &
when Grace seen what had came off
she pretty near died laughing & all
the while Mr.. Hamilton Just stood
there and looked at her &a finely when
she could say some thing she says
that's a CRATE joke & Mr. Hamilton
says may be it is but its over my head
and then Grace explained it to him
the hole thing & told him we was his
new neighbors & she was just paying
him a friendly call SO pretty soon he
Evening star., 1921-04-10

son the II of this mo. & the dance
is being gave for the benfit of the
Armeniums. This here invitation was
addressed to the Hamiltons but if we
get there's they got ourn so whats
the diffrunts & besides you can bet l
amt going over to there house to
say any thing bout it & if they don't
Evening star., 1921-04-10


~ OF the Treasury, is the shyes'
~ member of President Harding :
cabinet Reserved almost to the
point Of bashfulness. he dislikes pub
licity and shrinks from newspaper in
terviews Washington probably has
never known a more retiring public Off
ciaL Yet. indications are multiplying
that he is going to be one of the ''doers"
Of the administration.
Pittsburgh newspapers. which had
seen Mr.. Mellon develop in that city
three Of the country's strongest finan-
cial institutions. passed the word to
Washington correspondents that the
President had picked winner for the
Treasury portfolio. but poor subject
for newspaper copy. And. so far. Mr.
Mellon has run true to form.
My first meeting with him. curiously
enough. developed story that would
have gone for frSt-page space. but he
promptly committed me TO secrecy. This
was about four days before the inaugu
ration, when he paid a visit to the
Evening star., 1921-04-10

Charley all men was Grated free and
wear just as good is them even il we
got all my pay for the next 80 yrs.
spent all ready.
Best to Mary. F. A. GROSS.
Allison, III. Aug. 16.
DROTHER CHARLEY. well Char
ley Grace wont be lonesom no
more because now she called on 4
famlys long the st. to-day insted of
3 like she intend it & of corse the
more you call on the more of them
has got to call on you back. The rea-
son she made it insted of was on
acct. OF her only staying to the Hamil-
tons Il of hr. because they says
they was going out some where's &
would half to leave her.
We had early dinner & she got
over to the Hamiltons a bout l in the
p. NJ. & she was toged UP in her new
close & looked like a million s.
she told me all bout 1t when she
come home. A womman come to the
door & Grace says how do you do
Mrs. Hamilton I was afrade you'd
be out & the womman says who did
you want to see & Grace says you or
Mr.. Hamilton or the both of them &.
the womman says I will SEQ are they
in. So the womman says what name &.
Grace says Grace Gross & the wom-
man says have you got a card a long
with you & Grace dident have none
but the cards I had printed so she
give her one of them. They set me
back S1.oo for 100 of them Charley
but / thot I might as well make it a
good ! vile / was doing it & be-
sides IL Grace don't loose none of
them 100 should ought to last her
until shes called on the hole town.
The cards says on them F. A Gross
asst Chief of Detectives Chicago Po-
lice dept. & then down on the bot
tom 20 years in the service in red
tipe.
The higher girl left Grace stand
ing in the vestry bull & pretty soon
a man come out & he was Mr.. Ham
Evening star., 1921-04-10

want to remember that I'm sayeing
money on water bills all the vile
they amt no water.
Regards to Mary.
FRED A. GROSS.
Allison, Ill. Sept IA.
PROTHER CHARLEY. we'll Charley
I'm planning a big surprise for
Grace and the reason I'm doing IL is
because shes been feeling SO bad over
them peopl not comeing to see her
LIN going to have Hamiltons & the
Carpenters over here to dinner Sun
q Grace knows theys going to be Co
but she thinks I've asst the Walters
TO come out from town. I had to tell
her some body was comeine so as
she would be sure and have euouvb
to eat so told her the Walters was
comeing &c she will be surprised &
tickled to deth when she sees it aint
the walters but the Hamiltons &
Carpenters.
the idear come to me when was
down town vest. & the way it come
TO me was trying to figure out some
way TO cheer Grace up. So 1 thot of
this idear & then I set down & tride
to write letter to them peopl asking
them to come & it took me SO long
TO write the 1st l that I seen
wouldent never have time for nothing
else if I wrote of them So 1 ast
the typewriter in the chiefs office would
she write couple of letters for me.
& her frammed them up together.
In the letters 1 says my wife would
like to have them come over to din
ner Sun. noon G. It wasent going to
be no big party so they could ware
what ever they had & not feel a
'hamed & we wouident dress up much
our self SO they wouldent need to.
the typewriter dident only half to
write the letter onct because she put
a peace Of this here copy paper in
bet the regular paper & wrote both
the letters at onct only changed the
names at the top.
cant hardly wait untfn Sun. and
see how surprised &c tickled Grace
will be- Rgds to Mary.
FRED A. GROSS.
A*A
Allison. H.. Sept 49,
DROTHER CHARLEY. we'll Charley
I'm the that got the surprise and
not Grace. and besides a surprise I
got bad scare to because Grace car
ryed on so that I thot she was going
to be took down sick. What do you
think Of them buns Charley I mean
the Hamiltons & Carpenters. When
they dident pay no tension or send
me no anser to the letter 1 wrote
them ] thot sure they must be come
ing because IL they wasent comeing
they would say 40. That's what I
thot. But a long come Sun. noon & no
sine OF them & Grace got fichety & says
what do you suppose is the ma tier
with the Walters that they don't come
l stalled her off and says may be
they would come on the train that gets
here at ] a clock & she says my dinner
will all be spoiled & finely after the
a clock train come & no body showed
up had to tell her the truth. Grace
scolded me like Id stole some money
or some thing & when 1 says I would
run over to there house & sec what was
the matter she says II I moved a step
out side the house she would take the
children & run a way & then she had
histeriks & the rest of it & she says
even II them peopl had Of come she
would Of slamed the door in there face
& ! don't know yet what was she sore
a bout tho of corse l was a little sore
my self on acct of them peopa not let
ting nA 61oH .A1 nothtnE HU Gkzca
Evening star., 1921-04-10

canso you can't get to where the wood
i8 at with out buying a sale boat or
some thing & even II you got the wood
IL vouldent burn on acct IL being soked
Regards to Mary & we wisht you
could get out & see us.
F. A. GROSS.
Allison. III. Aug. 13.
DROTHER CHARLEY well Charley
Il looks now like we was going to
bust In TO socitsy & Grace wont be lone
SON no moro She got her close made
d an finishsd up days a go all ready
q thot 6hed go calling right a way
but ahe says no It wouldent be right to
TAXI the children long the list time
ahe fnterduced her self TO the peopi out
hsro on acct they might cut up & rase
thB devvil & may be brake some thing
IN some strangers house so she says IL
was up 70 mo to stay home with the
Children wfle she went a round & made
Q few calls & I'm going to stay home
with the babys next Sun. after noon
became t1fats tho 1st day I can get of
on ACCT theys other fellows in the
dept laying of now & the rest Of us is
kspt pretty busy. but Of corse me not
being able to go a long with her & make
the calls I've got to get some cards
printed 80 she can stick them on the
ptz3& - So0 vianss in tho~ ho0a9
Evening star., 1921-04-10
AllissS Ill. Oct. %.

AllissS n1.. Oct %.
- Charley it looks IKE we would
move back to the s. side il we can
sell the place on acct. of Grace says
she cant never spend a happy minut
again out here & 1 aint so stuck on it
my self. But we wont sell it for less
then 100000 more then it costed all
to eether because somebody's got to
pay for whats come off & for them
danceing lessons & Graces dresses &
that dress suite I rent & the shirt &
shoes & all the rest of it Grace
spoke a bout moveing last night & l
Evening star., 1921-04-10
take & tho best thing you can do is

take & tho best thing you can do Is
go home
Then Grace SAYS come lets go home
l says l wouldent until Id talked
with the rest of the comitty & there
We stood stood & the guy dident
even say we should set down so finely
told Grace to set down & she
wouldent set down but all she could
say was let's go home. Finely the
people beggin comeing & they ALL
| stared at us tho l bet we dident
look no worse then they did 4 the
Ha millions come & the Carpenters &
/ Grace whispered to me who they was
a they dident even speak TO us &
nneiy the music begSin & they all
started dancing in the room in side
where we couldent see them & finely
went up to the man at the table e
ne says are you still here & | says
you bet l am & I'm in hurry to
see your commity & he says all right
you ii see them quick enough as soon
is the lst. dance is over & he got
up went in the room where they
was dancing & pretty soon the musir
/ stopped & he come out with . ladies
d 3 gents with him & of the gents
was Carpenter.
Well the man says here's a gent that
says he got invitation to the dance
l says yes & you seen my invata-
/ ton all ready. He says Yes III admit
lyou had a invitation but wear going
to leave it to this here comitty weather
1t was a miss take or not & then they
! whispered to gather for a minut K then
! the man says its just like l told you
your here threw some miss take & the
best thing You can do is go home. So
then l says your a fine bunch of stiffS
& looked right at this here Carpenter
l says your swell gang of stews x
before l get threw with you you'll all
be wareing the bracelets & L was going
to tell them some more but just then
this here Hamilton come out of the
room where the dancing was at & saws
are We pinched & i says no but your
libel to be Il he says whats the excite
ment & Carpenter told him a bout me
havetng the invitation & then il come
out that Hamilton dident get no invata-
ton & the boy that left it to our house
made miss take & we dident have
none comeing & if it hadent Of been
for Grace believing & makeing a seen
l would of soiled some of there golfers
but they was nothing for me to do but
get her out of there but as i say if id
of had the old gat a long with me !
bet Id of cut loose before ! left there.
Well l pretty near had to carry
Grace all the way home & put her to
bed & douse camfer all over her face
/ finely got her to sleep & sent the
girl home that was there to take care
of the children but 1 couldent go to
sleep my self & l amt slept yet l
called up the chief this m & told him
the wife was sick & l couldent come
down here it is pretty near noon & |
aint even herd nothing a bout breakfast
yet tho the childrenS had there's be
cause Grace remembered to give them
there's but I guess Grace she thinks I'm
saveing up my appetite for the refresh
munts at the next dance.
A fine bunch Of stisIs eh Charley.
F. A GROSS
Evening star., 1921-04-10

want to remember that I'm saveing
money on water bills all the vile
they aint no water.
Regards to Mary.
Evening star., 1921-04-10

Charley all men was Grated free and
wear just as good is them even il we
got all my pay for the next 80 yrs.
spent all ready.
Best to Mary. F. A. GROSS.
Evening star., 1921-04-10
BY JOHN L. MARTIN.

NDREW w. MELLON, Secretary
Of the Treasury, is the shyest
member of President Harding s
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1921-01-03
EDITORIAL NOTES

With the death Sunday of Dr. Theo- bald von Bethmann Hollweg, former German Imperial Chancellor, there passes out one of the prominent fig War. It is reported that in the stopped figure and careworn face of recent months few would recognize the stalwart figure of few years it can be called, of originating the most quoted phrase of the war "only a scrap of paper.
 Congratulations to the girl in New York who made a silver spoon. inn personate a revolver and by means of 1t made a burglar who had entered her apartment in the early morning sit up in a chair with hands raised until her sister called an officer. This shows what grit will sometimes &C., comp1ish. The condition which the burglars pride must be i< would be hard to describe.
 The navy balloon A-559s which sailed into the air at Rockaway, Dec. 13 and was apparently lost has been heard from. Carried by a storm nearly to Hudson Bay it's crew were obliged to land in a forest and were four days finding a trading station. They will soon start on their journey home the first leg of which will be nine days by dog sled. While giant strides have been made in the science of air navigation and exploration there are still very great and real perils for all those engaged in it.
 There were some old time appear ing New Years jags to be seen in various places. AS prohibition is now in effect and the country dry the only explanation for them is that they habit.
 Reason for an Ambition
 (F'rom the Detrott Free Press)
 "He wants to be a lawyer"
 "Why?"
 Says it must be fine to have twelve men obliged to stay in the room and listen to him make a speech
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1921-01-03
Von Hollweg
 Dies, Ill But
 Short Time
Ex- Chancellor Who Called Belgian Treaty Scrap
 of Paper''

Berlin, Jan 3-Dr. Theobald von BethmannH Hollweg, former German Imperial Chancellor, died Saturday after a brief illness on his estate at Hohenfinow, near Berlin.
 Dr. von Bethman Hollweg was ap- parently in good health until We'd nesday. He spent Christmas as usual with his family but contracted a cold which developed into acute pneu- monia. His condition became stead fly worse, and his private physician was summoned from Berlin, but the former Chancellor had already be- come unconscious and never regained conscousness,. dying late Saturday night.
 His wife died in 1914, and he lost his eldest son in the war. He is sur vived by a daughter, Countess Zech, wife of the Secretary of the Prussian Legation at Munich, and a son, Felix, a student at Berlin.
 On the last of his frequent visits to Berlin, in mid winter. pr. Won Beth mann Holweg was seen walking in Unter den Linden, but the once stall Wart figure was mol onger upright and few pedestrians recognized in the stopped figure and careworn face the former Imperial Chancellor. Won Bethmann Hollweg recently | concluded the revision of the final proofs of the seconr volume of his | war diary which is announced for | early publication.
 | Dr. Won Bethmann HoIlweg will be
 buried on Wednesday at Hohenfinow Among the latest prominent activi. ties of Dr. van ollweg il l International affairs an7 German na. | tional life, was his test''ciony in 191s 1 as a witness before National Assem- 1 bly, committees investigating respon sibility for the war. His testimony | brought out that he had original,
 opposed the submarine warfare ant
 had issued warnings not to underesti