Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1921-02-04
Press Club Bout Fails
to Decide Between ]
Fat-Lean Congressrner

Washington, Feb. 3-Members OF
the cabinet, numerous members Of
the diplomatic corps and high ofn-
Gals of the army and navy. assem-
bled tonight as guests of the Nation
al Press Club~to hear an edifying
Congressional debate on the mo-
mentous question:: Resolved, that y
is more noble to be fat than lean"
Supporting the negative side OF the
proposition with all the eloquence
that has earned them recognition In
the Senate We're Senators Ashurst of
Arizona and Harrison of MISSISSIPPI
pi, both Democrats, and fashioned by
nature to defend the cause of the
lean man, while pitted against them
was a formidable pair of Republic
can members of the House, Repre-
sentatives Tincher Of Kansas and
Winslow of Massachusetts,. The at
firmative team also were not lacking
in physical attributes which indicat-
ed that they might have been hand
picked to support the heavyweight
challenge.
Among those in the audience who
gave every indication of reapins
profit as well as enjoyment from the
erudite discussion, which took place
in theatre, were the French, Japan
csc and Belgian ambassadors, Lady
Geddes, wife of the British ambas-
lett of the House, who presided, eau
titon the jurors to attain q mental
sador; the secretary of State and
Mrs. Colby, and General Pershing.
The audience constituted the jury
and so impressively did Speaker Gill
state of complete impartialty" in
deciding the "momentous issue" that
the debate was adjudged draw and
the question declared at the end to
be still in doubt
Opening for the affirmative, Repre-
sentative Tincher waded into the
subject without gloves. After deny
ing any noble" attribute to the lean
man. Mr.. Tincher declared he could
prove by the actuary of any insur-
ance department in the world that
the fat men are closer to Heaven
than the lean men," The Kansas
representative went SO far as to
question the authenticity of "the
Book of Deuteronomy" as handed
down by traEslators and declared il
should be amended by insertion OF
1.-THE clause: Blessed is the fat man
for he shall be in the Kingdom OF
Heaven"
In rebuttal, Senator Harrison de-
clared he was prepared to enter ths
combat "even if we have pitted agains
us two old, fat reactionary Republi-
cans who, as l look at them, remind
me of the cartoons I used to see with
the dollar marks on the trust mag
Mates" History, he declared, is RE
plete with the names of lean men
whereas it's pages show but four OF
the other variety-Fatty Arbuckle
William Howard Taft and our two
opponents on the other side"
Shouldering the other half of the
affirmative, Mr. Winslow then expati.
ated on the endorsements of dis
cussing the issue in the presence OF
mixed audience" He admitted
however, that he was well qualified to
speak on the subject, recalling dis
tinct recollections of when I was ex-
hibited in q cradle as a fine, fat
baby" .
Only more time than the allotted
ten minutes was necessary, he said, to
permit a complete demonstration OF
the fact that fat men rule the world
Winding up the debate with a burst
of eloquence, Senator Ashurst held
forth thusly:
Call the roll of mighty men en-
riching the annals of human destiny
and we find that those who have
blessed mankind the most have been
thin. Alexander and Caesar were
thin. Lord Nelson was but a shadow,
The Duke of Wellington was but a
thin edge. Lincoln just had oil enough
to keep his joints from creaking. Nc
Adoo, as director general of railroads.
never carried excess baggage. If
Woodrow Wilson had been a fat man,
he never could have impressed his
fourteen points upon the world"
The audience thereupon pronounced
its approval of the entire show by an
undignified burst of applause.
Prior to the debate the assembled
guests had been prepared for the fri
voiities by a recitation by Secretary of
State Colby of Gray's "Eligy in a
Country Church Yard"