The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1921-04-30
APRIL 30, 1921
GIVE OR TAKE? Which Does It Mean To You?
By BEATRICE FAIRFAX, An Authority on the Puzzles of Ro- nance and the Love Prob
 lemS of Girls

lems of Girls.
 Wouldn't you much rather be pre- sented with a dandelion you wanted than a bunch of chrysanthemums you hadn't vase for or place for? Haven't you seen a boy scowling at an expensive train of toy cars when he wanted a top a kite?
 I've an idea that the percentage of love affairs and marriages that go asley and astray would be materially willing to adjust themselves to the personality and wishes of other folks. Recently psychologist delivered an address in which he explained g1nninE, a baby is its own world. IL discovers it's hands and plays with dts fingers and toes. It loves its lit tie self and derives it's amusement and satisfactionS from the little body in which it finds itself living. Suffer and Learn. Then baby comes to be boy of six or seven and adjusts itself to it's brothers and sisters and the 'give and take" of life But the onlv child still finds the universe revolving about il and grows up without proper adjustment to life. Coming out into 1 So much for the spoiled only child But doesn't he-or she-mani- fest self again in the love affair | and not in terms of You'? How often a man says. 'I think I can make you happy, dear" when
 he hopes, 'I hope you will make me ] happy
 After all, we have each of us to
 dwell inside the body which is our 1 -h ome" as long as We live out our l life here on earth. We give happi-- ness in exact ration to our power to project our minds and souls outside that house, and feel the common pulse l Of life which we'd never be able to reach if we stayed too tightly shut up inside our body houses. The sort of love that wants to ta%~ be it kisses, embraces gir.s. syrtl- pathy or understan anding-is selfish l But may the love which wishes only | to give be selfish
 1 In every department of life there 1 is a need of adjustment. Give and Take is the one balanced attitude to- ward love. 1 It requires inesse and savoir faire 1 royalty as you give. The feeling of generosity tha,1 comes from splendid giving can't help affording a deep sat 1 isfaction to the siver. The one who and sweet-even when receiving the very thing she didn't want How to Give. l I'm not contradicting myself. I'm
 merely turning to the spiritual phase
 of giving and taking Let me tell
 you little story Illustrating it: Lucie loves pretty handk erchiefs.
 Dainty. fine ones are her joy in life. Recently Ralph asked her quite frank
 ly what she'd like for her birthday. l She told him.
 l And Ralph, scorning to give his lsweetheart gift he regarded as uti1itarian and something she'd buy
 herself anyway. purchased for Lucie
 a bottle of French perfume at SIS.
 Lucie didn't like the rich. heavy fra
 grance. She hadn't any handker-
 chiefs suitable for use with such 1 luxurious scent. Ralph had failed in giving. She was gracious and
 sweet And she put it this way to me:
 1T love RaIph-as he is. not as I
 might have created him if I'd been
 writing tory with him for the
 hero. He's my real hero. And I
 want him to be happy. Otherwise
 what good is my love to him? I'm twice as happy when he tells me I'm
 the one girl in the world as I'd ever
 be over anything else. I get so
 much-that I long to give little, itoo'
 That's the kind of love that won't fail It has to create happiness.