davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-12-18
TIE JOKE ON Our RETAILERS

1t has been so long since there was
real Joke told on the retailers OF
st. Joseph, that It Is almost cruel to
spring one now-but this one Is too
good to keep-so It will be told right
here.
It will be remembered that about a
year ago the St Joseph clothiers and
haberdashers staged a considerable
campaign concerning the advisabiiity
of wearing the high-tone wooden sock
instead of squandering vast fortunes
on boots
Oxfords, with wooden hose. they
argued. would keep tho wolf from
the door-in fact way out in the
| street.
This lesson. we are told. has struck
home. and 30 many boys and girls
are wearing wooleu hose with their
summer oxfords that the sale OF
leather boots is impaired.
Woolen stockings seem to DO com
Portable unless there Is swath OF snow
on the ground-and even then the sOx
referred TO have the dainty habit OF
shedding water like a ducks back
Economical America seems to be
learning things right slCg-much TO
tho disgust OF the hoys who boosted
Oxfords with wooden hose.
Hose are cheaper than shoes It ap-
pears-unless pneumonia gets you.
Some day some sayant will proclaim
the discovery that leather is a warm
er and better covering for the ankles
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-12-18

declaration Of the League now in
session a' Geneva, which settles that
dispute for all time, and settles it by
am express repudiation Of the con-
s.ructon put upon Article Y. by the
opponents of the treaty in the senate
and by distinguished republican jur-
lists who made speeches for their
party's candidate.
The commission. in which all the
forty-ono member nations were rep
resented, reported that cit cannot too
omrh1ticalIy be stated that Article
y does not guarantee the territorial
integrity Of any member Of the
league" Eminent advocates OF the
election Of Senator Harding insisted
that Article y guaranteed all frontiers
as they stand "All it docs" says the
commission, lis to condemn external
aggression on the territorial integrity
and political independence OF any
member OF the league" as was point
ed out thousands Of times during the
campaign.
Again. It was insisted that under
Article y. II the league called for
the help OF American troops. they
would have to go whether we liked
the business in which they were en-
gagged or not. There was a great deal
OF talk about our boys" being con-
scripted to die In Europe. Denmark,
requested by the council to furnish
a small contingent OF troops for the
Wilma service. replies that, while the
party leaders favor granting the re-
quest, their constitution requires that
the project have the approval Of the
Danish parliament. That reply was
accepted as satisfactory. Thus again
the Interpretation put upon the cove
nant by its friends was authoritative
ly sustained; that insisted upon by
its enemies rejected.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-12-18
ALAS. POOR UNHAPPY HARDING

There are many people who possi-
bly, because they are short OF brains
or partially denuded of reasoning
power are always ready to "construe"
| every act of a president and give
it some Interpretation foreign to its
real intent. These people are con-
tinually on the lookout for interrre-
tations, and some few are reasonable
enough. but some must strike one as
exceedingly fanciful and forced. These
interpretations come for the most part
from newspaper correspondents. ever
on the lookout for a STORY" other
people would not think of them.
on his Sunday on the gulf. going
down to Panama, Mr.. Harding con-
Quoted a very modest little religious
service. He happened to read the
Twenty-fifth psalm. which opens:
The troubles Of my heart are en-
larged. Oh. bring me out Of my dis
tresses."
lt iILtI pEtltT WIS AZ OHCo Oh NAlt
job. He imm ediately perceived "a
peculiar and dramatic Significance" to
the lines, which seemed to become
the personal prayer Uf Senator Hard
ing himself as he faces tremendous
problems" He could not have it that
Mr.. Harding was simply reading a
prayer OF David. but that he was
making a prayer OF his own. To do
this II was necessary to cram the
senator's heart full to bursting with
distresses due to the responsibilities
imposed on the successful candidate
on election day.
As the senator read on, the inter
prefer says positively that the presi-
dent-elect meant the verses to reveal
his own attitude toward the assump-
tion OF the presidency. lie has the
senator groanlng in downright. des-
perate "affliction" and bewaillng to
God that he has many enemies who
hate him with cruel hatred" and he
begs the Lord to take charge Of them.
How Incompatible with the happy
conduct OF the senator since election
day, his recent Joy in hooking a tar
pom. his eagernoss to be ION the Jobi"
This interpreter to Mr.. Harding's ac-
tion in selecting and reading the
psalm conceives the senator also in
travail OF soul over the sins OF his
youth. for Harding. following David
and making David's words his own.
pleaded that these sins Of his youth
be not remembered.
Mr.. Harding has said over and over
again on his trip that he was having
just fine time. His company have
always found him cheerful and smii-
ing, but this "affliction." these dis
tresses," this multitude OF spiteful
encmies these sins OF his youth-why
il the interpreter is correct our presi-
dent-elect Is one OF the unhappiest OF
mortala
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-12-18
MAY THE RAY GROW BRIGHTER

The first real sign OF sanity that
| has been observable In Irish affairs
for a long time, is the now apparent
fact that the way is being prepared
for negotiations between the British
government and the Sim Fcin lead
ers. There Is tho other fact still
patent-namely-th by nothing
short Of alteration can tho descent
into savage warfare of two peoples
long accustomed to self-government
in most things be explained.
Questions Of race. religion and an
cient wrongs, embittered by treacher-
les, expressions and delinquencies of
the present day. have complicated the
situation. but there cannot have been
an hour since tho recent cut t-throat
contest began that the great mass of
Englishmen and Irishmen failed to
realize that a just settlement on such
terms was impossible. The struggle
has been supremely dlsgraceful to all
concerned. It has made Ireland a
shamblcs, threatened the very exist
ence OF the British empire and de-
laycd the return of peace throughout
tho world.
OF the sufferers from these wretch
ed errors the United States has not
poisoned. Our foreign policy has been
ing guerilla terrorism. Nobody in the
perverted. Our moral leadership Of
the world has been sacrificed. Our
demagogy. naturally local or sectional.
has become violently national and in
tornational. Our ordinary social
rights and diversions are subject to
riotous interruption or must be pur-
sued under the protection Of the po-
lice.
Nobody In Ireland, IN England or
In the British dominions and depend :
cnclcs has an advantage by the exist
guerilla terrorism. Nobody in the
United States has profited by It OK
cepting a crew Of cheap politicians
and agitatOrs engaged In capitallzing
the Irish question for their own ben
eft. 1t Is high time for the principals
in the quarrel to regain their senses.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-12-18
WE'ER NOT GOING TO THE
DEVIL

Just from the fact that a great
number Of workmen are being thrown
out Of employment just now. and
many OF tho merchants and also the
people are suffering heavy losses be-
cause the transition from inflated to
lower prices is on. is no sign that this
great country is going to the devil as
many would like to believe.
During tho war, and for a while
after the war. and because Of the war
profits and wages and Incomes and
prices went up like rocket Some
OF them are now coming down like q
stick. Even should they all come
down that way, they can go no fur
ther down than the bedrock base OF
our national prosperity.
Just as the going up process was
exhilarating 50 tho coming down pro-
cess Is painful and depressing. But
remember that falling prices DO no;
mean a decrease IN real valueA A
loaf OF bread is worth the same. for
the purpose for which It was created.
whether It sells for s cents or Is, So
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-12-18

is an acre OF land. SO is a coat, or a
shoestring, or a stick of candy. The
important thing is TO have the wealth
and the means OF producing it. The
price level Is a secondary considera-
ton. II 1t is stable, and If prices are
relatively equitable. It doesn't much
matter whether tho level be high or
low. The supply OF commodities is
what counts. II there were 100 peo-
pie on ap island assured Of a daily
supply ofs10O loavcs OF bread OF their
own production they would be more
prosperous. and better off, with bread
at 8 cents a loaf. than 100 other peo-
pie, on another island, with a daily
production of only fifty loaves
through the price were twenty cents.
The important thing is to have the
bread. and all the other products and
resources that go to make up national
wealth. That is what the United
states has. That is why our pros
perity is assured If we will only let
and help Nature have her way. and
not wreck her beneficent processes
by our own folly.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-12-18
COP TNRuuTES WILL not FooI.
VlII,eI

Have you noticed that Of late you
are not hearing so much about
America first?" So far as that
campaign claptrap meant anything at
all to the ordinary mind, It implied
that this country was to go 1t alone.
live off its own fat and keep foreign
goods out by a high tariff. But that
kind OF America first is already be-
ginning to appear too much like an
America hindmost. Even the farm
ers are waking up to the fact. The
statement issued in Washington on
Monday by the Farm Bureau Fedora
ton reads very much as If IL were
written by a spectacled professor of
economies. or even by some wicked
International banker disguised as old
Bill Jones, OF Gopherville.
Note these plain talks from the
farmer. I'VE must open up our us
ual and natural outlets for cotton,
wool. grain and meats IL we are to
TNlleNt lie present hlSdStTOuS eco
nomic situation" The farmer is now
asked to sell below his cost OF pro-
duction. what is his only hope?
why. "the opening of foreign mar
kets." But Europe can not buy un-
less 1t has credit, and unless II can
sell its manufactures here to pay its
debts. Very well, says the farm bu-
reau, arrange for credits, and con-
slider that it is good business" for us
to protect our loan of some 10000
100000 to European countries by
helping them to start production"
This cold elementary sense is par
ticularly refreshing coming from
farmers. They as a class have been
the slowest to perceive that they are
more interested than anybody else in
the free flow Of foreign commerce.
But falling prices for their products
have been rapidly opening their eyes.
II they remain as wide awake as they
now seem to be, the republican high
tarlffltes will not have so much fun
as they used TO out OF their old pas
time of "fooling the farmer"
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-12-18
FoRD's DEsPICABLE CAMPAIGN

The pet hobby OF Henry Ford, the
flivver man, just now is a weekly
magazine which he can for that mat
ter easily conduct, no matter how
much red ink is needed to keep the
books, And there is no harm In It,
either. IL there is no harm in it.
But Mr.. Ford. 1t appears, is using
his magazine to carry on a campaign
against the Jews. and makes that
campaign a leading feature week after
week.
That's a wretched business TO be in.
We don't care whether such a crusade
is anti-Jewish anti-Irlsh. anti-British,
anti-Catholic or anu-Protestant, it is
wretched business.
ANY man who devotes himself and
his resources to stirring up religious
or racial hatred anywhere, and In
this country above all countries, is in
shameful business and deserves moth
ing but scorn and contempt.
When there is so much good work
to which he could apply his money
and the talents of those who write
for him. Mr.. Ford chooses to devote
them to a campaign Of race hatred.
We are ashamed of him. and for him.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-12-18
The Candy Making Hogs

A Chicago alderman has started q
fight to lower the pricc OF Christmas
candy. He claims that despite re-
ductions Of nearly twenty cents a
pound In sugar, candy manufacturers
were not lowering the price of their
products; that they are planning to
reap a harvest during the holidays,
but he intends to see that their plans
he might find out what is the matter
with the sugar sold nowadays, House.
keepers claim that 1t Is different
from old time sugar and that they
can scarcely make cakes out Of it
Moberly Democrat.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-12-18
LINCOLN WILL LIKELY
FURNISH THE LEADER
CONTINUED from Page One)

democratic nominee for attorney
general, firm in the opinion that the
recent nation wide political upheavai
was not a lasting Waterloo in Mis-
souri, for democracy four years hence
will again offer himself as a candi-
date on the altar of his party for
fact that he led the entire state ticket
on election day has made his friends
! feel that no only went down in defeat
for the sole reason that national is
sues were misrepresented and mis-
| interpreted by Missouri vote, who.
| feeling it took too much time to write
the names OF state democratic nomi-
nees in on their ballot, voted the re-
publican list straight believing that
| their zone vote would not make much
difference, anyhow" Thousands of
such hurried votes were cast all over
Missouri. and when all were aggre-
gated it made enough difference to
defeat worthy nominees such as At
kinson, Meredith, Buford, Judges
Williams. Williamson. Ragland. and
others.
Meredith may be persuaded to Of
fer himself four years hence as a can
didate for governor and leave the way
clear Tor state senator Mark A, Nc
Gruder of Sedalia to make the race.
uncontested. for attorney general The
prevailing feeling over the state Is
that clean, staunch democrats such as
Atkinson. Meredith. Judges Williams
williamson and Ragland. ought to be
given another opportunity to run
when nation wide "normalcy'' exists.
1t is probable that Judges williams
and Ragland will listen to the lure OF
a reorganized. harmonious democracy
two years from now and again aseept
two of the three nominations for su-
preme court judges. The "only relia-
BILE party will then have TO offer
with better chance OF success. The
third high judicial nomination will
undoubtedly be unanimously rendered
to Judge Robert f. Walker. whose
ten-year term expires with the close
OF 1922.
A T. EDMONSTON.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-12-18
Do They Want the Same Kind2


It would be funny IL 1t weren't pos
itively silly to see the Republican pa
pers-and a few Democratic papers
that don't seem to know any better,
urging everybody to get behind"
Harding and help boost America
This patriotic stuff would sound a lot
better If the Republicans hadn't made
the most vicious and contemplate
fight on President Wilson ever made
on any president in the history OF this
country and much of It during
period when the heavy strain OF the
war was undermining the health and
sapping the strength of the nations
chief executive. Did the Republicans
get behind Mr.. Wilson? They cid 80
only to stab him in the back. VIII
the Democrats get behind Mr. Hard
ing? They will not II they have any
sense left, but will let those who
elected him give him the needed sup
port.--Glasgow Missourian.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-12-18
THOSE POLITICIAN INDICTMENTS

1t was common talk around the
court house after the grand Jury ad-
journed. that the jury failed In the
most important OF their recommenda-
tions-that being that they in place
Of recommending a special grand jury.
should have taken up the further al
legged election frauds This was the
plain duty OF the grand jury. and it
should have remained in session until
such a result was achleved-and still
further-this grand jury 1t is believed
should in view OF some of the infor-
nation which 1t Is alleged seeps
through, have found more indictm ents
than it did-and they should have
been found among the Republicans
who served in the election booths
whom If what Is continually alleged
is true. were more guilty than the
democrats who are indicted.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-12-18

II is not at all necessary at tho
present time to pass on the innocence
or guilt of Senator Lysaght. The
courts are the proper ones TO settle
this question. and the evidence pro-
duced is what will govern. Many
people are prone to adjudse a person
guilty as soon as there is a whisper
about him, and such hasty Judgment
only too often leads to repentance and
apology later. Senator Lysaght is a
man who has many political enemies
who would harm him If they could and
among the republican politicians moth
ing would bo sweeter than to have
him put out Of the way politically.
With hardly a question OF doubt the
case will not have one half of the bad
features that some public prints would
have the public believe.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-12-18
How the Times Have Changed

How times have changed Re-
member when you were a boy how
you were guyed when your home
would shrink until they struck you
around the shoe tops and the other
boys would refer sneeringly to your
high waters"7 Now the youths wear
'em half way to the knees to be "in
the style."-Gallatin Democrat.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-12-18
Is Not ExactlY the Solution

The house of lords mas voted down
a proposal to delay further consider
alton OF the Irish settlement bill.
Probably 1t has come TO be recogniz-
ed in England that delay Is not ex-
actly the solution the case seems to
demand.-Kansas City Times.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-12-18
Good While He Paid Them

Mr.. Ponzi's plea OF guilty and his
sentence OF five years in prison for
fraud will leave many victims still
convinced that his financial scheme
was perfectly sound. II he had only
let his investors in on the profits
Kansas City Times.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-12-18
PROVES THE DEMOCRATS WERE
RIGHT

The fiorccst fight Ia tho late cam
paign was over tho Interpretation Of
Article X of tho League Of Nations
covcnant-which the democrats. who
would always rather be right than to
hold the offices, Interpreted and ex-
pounded rightly and the cops wrong
ly. This IS now absolutely proven in
practical way by the unanimous
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-12-18
Should be "Blamcd' of Course

Comptroller Williams announces
that $3.50 national banks last year
earned twenty-four per cent on their
capital The federal reserve system
is probably TO blame.-Missouri State
Journal.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-12-18

st. Joseph indications are that the
Christmas present game will not be
as heavily played this year as last.
as the people who failed to save
money are not spending money as
freely as in the years past.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-12-18
Those Kansas Farmers Sore

Frank b. Neil of Kansas City was
Plattsburg visitor Monday. Frank
said: Il was in Wichita, Kansas, last
Thursday and Friday and corn was
selling there at SO cents per bushel."
Clinton County Democrat
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-12-18
Add This TO the RuIcs

To their RULES For Lighting a
Match" the fire prevention propa-
gandist should add one other, namely:
First. request the match from a man
buttoned up in a heavy overcoat, with
gloves on and his arms full or pack
ages.-Kansas City Post
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-12-18
Had About the Same Idea

A news story says a man shot his
wife to make a good woman out Of
her He must have held the same
opinion as TO women as the old saying
goes about the Indian. The only good
Indians are the dead oneS-Moberly
Democrat
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-12-18

With the scarcity OF real Jobs in St.
Joseph. Just now. the man or woman
who showed real sense during the
flush times and saved some Of his or
her high wages is now feeling that
satisfaction which comes from having
something laid by.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-12-18
We Have Never Examined

Theater managers all over the
country have advertised their bath
ing beauties" until a person wonders
if chorus girls are the only people
that keep themselves clean.-Durling-
ton Junction Post.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-12-18
Getting What They Voted For

A lot OF railroad workers who voted
for Harding for president because
they wanted a return OF old times
are now getting what's coming to
them. Every railroad in the country
is laying off men by the wholesale
these days.-Howell County Gazette.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-12-18
COPS WILL GIVE YOU MORE
TAXES

VI NoAiot sOu 'tAAlON lltlp DuA "
remember during the campaign that
Senator Harding, now president-elect,
and ell Of the other republican ora
tors who flooded the country were
prof,,'o in their promises Of reduced
! taxation and OF more equitable taxa
! tiuu, but in tho six weeks that have
| intervcncd since election not a single
responsible republican leader has
come forward with any plan. and
/ Senator Lodge has said that congress
| will d. nothing with revenue leglsla-
| ton until after March 4. What it
viii do then is on tho knees OF the
gods.
Senator Wadsworth Of New York
can think Of nothing in the way OF
! tax adjustment except to increase the
exemptions to $4,000 and $4,000.
Senator Curtis Of Kansas is confident
that 100000, 900 a year can be
raised from a protective tariff al
! though no tariff even in the blessed
, days Of Dingleyism over brought In
more than a third Of that sum. A
biuion-dolar tariff would mean an
Increase in the cost OF living for
which no political party would care
to assume the responsibility
To the suggestion that sales tax
be substituted for the progressive in
come and excess profits tax. Profess
sor Thomas $. Adams Of Yale. who IS
one Of tho taxation experts of the
bureau Of internal revenue. informed
his audience ia an address delivered
the other night that If tho agitation
continued, you arc going to succeed
i'm passing a soldiers bonus bill, and
the enormous cost OF that bonus Is
going TO bo paid for by a sales tax
added to the taxes OF which you now
complain"
This is a dismal prophecy. but it
Is one that Is abuudantiy sustained
10y the whole experience Of American
politics.
The time to have begun tho sys-
tematic revision OF tho war taxes was
two years ago when the Sixty-sixth
congress first met. SO far as hOstili-
/ ties were concerned the war was over
and nothing remained to DO done in
military way except domObllize.
/ Every consideration OF common sense
and practical government was on the
side Of careful inquiry into the
| whole question Of war taxation and
tho readjustment Of its inevitable In
cqualitiss.
30 Inquiry was undertaken and no
attempt vas made at rcadlustmcnL
Senator Penrose with characteristics
frankness said that the republicans
intended to do nothing until after
election, and that II the country want
Cd a republican revision Of taxation
it would have to give the republicans
control Of all branches Of the govern
ment. But now that they have carried
the elections. the republicans are en-
tlrely without a program and have
done nothing to obtain the data on
which an intelligent program could
DO based. Two years have been vast
I'd by partisan politics and the lead
ers OF tho party have nothing 10 offer
except talk.
The chances now are that there
will be no general revision OF war
taxes until three years after the
armistice went into effect. ami what
that revision will actually be there is
nobody who can even guess. II the
bonus is TO be added TO the unavoid-
able expenses ot the government,
Professor Adams forebodlngs are all
, justified. What the country will get
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-12-18

than wool is. Then back to the high
tops againi
You've got to hold on tight to stick
onto this mundane y-go-round.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-12-18
NV How Il Trmb'cs tho stari

Seven people were murdered in the
city of st. Louis within a period Of
SO hours the first OF this week. My,
but that must he discouraging TO the
Kansas City Star in its apparent ef-
fort to advertise Kansas City as the
most lawless place on the map
Boonville Advertiser.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-12-18
Good Place for Republicans

The proposed new constitution for
Illinois includes the privilege of in
termarriage between whites and me-
groes, and provides equal rights for
negroes in every spere.-Maitland
Herald.