davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1920-06-18

GRAFTON Of laws that were enacted 10
safeguard the INT er.ats Of the country
in the VAT would nutonatich cease.
AS long ha these laws arc an the
statute books they must be enforced,
They have been and are being en :
forced with aa little injury 10 tho
welfare OF tho country and rights OF
individuals NJ possible. | don't know
that ] would even care TO defend any
policy that I have deemed essential
70 tho fullest protection OF the ma
tional interest That would he too
! much like offering an apology where
one is not needed. I do not believe
that my course calls for an apology
OF any kind
The republican and not the demo :
cratic policy has been responsible
for any bad effects that have resulted
from the failure Of the republican
Senate to ratify the Versailles treaty
and the covenant of the league of
nations. The republican policy of
negation has been persisted In for
the sole purpose of advancing re-
publican chances for winning the
coming presidential election, and has
never reflected sincere desire to
ameliorate the effect Of measures
adopted for projecting the country
In time of war: The republican policy
mas been rather to eXagge-ate the
effect of these measures"
Does Not Discuss Candidates.
The President declined to discuss
candidates for the democratic presi-
Dental nomination.
i have the greatest faith" he said.
IN the Intelligent appreciation by
the delegates who will assemble at
san Francisco two weeks Hence to
write the platform and nominate the
standard bearers of our party. They
Will have before them the republican
platform and will have estimated
the erect of it on the people gen
orally. They Will have from whom
TO select candidates for the presi-
Dental and vice presidential nominal
tons a number of excellent men
should not want to express any pref
efence or opinion regarding either
individuals or platform-eNpressi ons
Whlch might influence the minds OF
the men whose votes will ultimately
decide both
L hope and believe that platform
10 be adopted at San Francisco will
De more progressive and clearer in
understanding than that enunciated
by the republicans at Chicago The
character of the men who viii sit as
delegates in the San Francisco con
Nention should be sufficient guarantee
that the issues upon which the cam
palgn is to he fought will be met
with definite and concrete statements
and not cloudy and ambiguous terms
as was the case in the Chicago con-
Nention."
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1920-06-18

THE BELL CLOTHES
SHOP says it isn't necessary
for you to buy the old cut=and=
dried, stereotyped sort Of
PALM BEACH SUITS that
hang so stiff and awkwardly.
And paying $40 to $22 for.
them is even worse. The
BELL SHOP says: Come in
here and slip into a dozen of
these light=as=a=feather, per-
fectIy tailored, wonderfully
fitting PALM BEACH SUITS,
in all new shades, new models
and brand=new stock-we have
carried none over since last
year.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1920-06-18

Wonderfully tailored from
genuine imported English Flan-
mel Do they fit? - like you're
nodded into them. We're giving
high prices a terrific Jolt by of
fering you your choice of these
at
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-11-15
BeatriceFairfax
Advice
ENGAGEMENT BIGAMIsT.

DEAR MISS FAIRFAX:
I a young man twenty years old.
have been engaged six times. / am now en-
gagged to a girl nineteen. l think love her
dearly. In fact know do. But don't know
whether will change in my feeling or not
I always have.
I am considered handsome by all OF the
girls and never had any trouble finding a
girl
Now don't think. I'm conceted or foolish.
because this Is OF vital interest to both Of u.s.
x. ".
But I do think you the most conceited
and foolish young. person that I have como
aero for a long time. Only twenty and en-
gagged six times! You must have begun to pro-
pose in the cradle. And you'll probably end
up by being a cranky and lonesome old bach
elor. and your friends will say Good enough
for him"
A for this particular young lady you are not
taking her seriously, either. You probably 60
about with ono eye opcn for the next pretty
face to whom you make love, Some day
I hope you will meet neutrality-suspicious. girl
who can see through you and that she will
strike good and hard from the shoulder just
to let you SOC that all girls arc not 30 easy
You are quite right when you say that you
think you love this girl. That's all the love she
will get from you-the thinking kind.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-11-15
MIR. B. Baer
There Is a Santa Claus.
By MANSFIELD

A profiteer is a ticket Spectator who sells
you a round trip ticket so that he get you
going and coming.
Sleep is natures greatest gift to man.
man.
A safety deposit vault Is now a coal bin. A
Jewel box is a coal scuttle. Anthrasoot coal
jumped to $172o ton in Brooklyn, slate on
board. The same ton only csots STATS In New
York. but the dealer delivers It in q leaky
wagon.
The profiteers have tho works By tho ears.
and the courts helpless ~ q set of false
tooth in q glass OF water.
What good Is tho law anyway Add up the
Ten Commandments. tho Greek law. tho Tribu-
nal OF tho Caesars. tho Magma Carter. all the
volumes Of Blackstone and the Constitution.
What is tho answer7 That IL is no crime for
q woman to shoot her husband on Long Island.
II Is now . crime to crochet near -becr In the
domicile. That was ono way Of keeping warm
that Ia now out BE II ever % humble, there
Is no brew like home.
Can oaisthenics take the place of coalf A
caiisthenic hound Is a bird who tries to teach
the ignorant that deep breath Is better than
warm underwear.
An ignorant freezing man can take course
in calisthencs and still be cold and dumb, Tho
majority Of us can grab all the winter va want
In short breaths without trying to Unfit In more
than cur share.
We had lot of coal before we went into the
war Wilson might call extra session of
Congress and pass a bill stating just where
democracy stops and happiness begins.
The old-fashioned man got married so that
he could have q home The modern man gets
married that he have a home and a cellar.
without home brew and coal there Ia no use
for n cellar. The American home is attacked
in its most vital spot, the furnace. A bouton-
Mere of anthrasoot costs about four dollars an
ounce.
Looks like about December, we will have
an Old Home Week OF Heatlcss Mondays
But there II . sa.fa C1ssA
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-11-15
English and the Dumdum
Bullets
Continued From First Column)

Continued From First Column)
those plans will work out what the real Government az
Russia is at this moment knows.
But this is certain. Those that, like the ciminaIy
ignorant Of this nation seek starve and strange Russia
WILL they succeed tho most horrible cataclyxm IN
all human history.
Bolshevim may DO al that anybody has ever aid \
and But at its worst 1t perfection compared
to what would follow its sudden downfall Lloyd GeorgA
speaking at the Lord Mayors dinner predicted anarchy far
generation "a fostering thing which viii poison tho stmos
phere of the world" should the Russian Government fan
Worse than anarchy would follow sudden collapse a
the present Russian Government.
Horrible, widespread starvation, civil between VI
lagos cannibalim and brgandage spread among two hun
bred millions Of human beings would be features Of COL
lapse in the government Of that gigantic empire.
For Russia fall into absolute anarchy without any
governing power would be to have dreadful decaying
corpse In ths house az natonA
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-11-15

JUST A paragraph.
FROM A letter.
ABOUT THE "Buddles."
WHO WANTED shades.
FOR TwENTY.ONE win
dows.
IN A hospital room.
WHERE A score of them.
SPEND ALL their days.
AND ALL their nights.
AND THIS laborer.
WHO WRITES to me.
Is ONLY one.
or A multitude,
THAT DID likewise.
AND TO them all.
1 SEND the word.
THAT TIE shades are up
WITHOUT our aid.
I'VE SEEN them there.
AND WE all OF US smiled
AS ! sat on the edge.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-11-15
EXTRACTS FROM LETTERS
TO WAR RISK BUREAU

you ask my allotment number. ]
have four boys and two girls"
please correct name. as l could not
and would not go under a consumed
name"
From boys letter to his mother:
4 am sitting in the Y. NJ. c. A. writ
ing with a piano playing in my uni
form"
please return marriage certificate.
Baby hasn't eaten anything in three
days"
I'VE have another baby IN the
house. How much more do l gct?"
II I don't get some money soon
will have to lead an immortal life"
W. y. D.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-11-15
We TOWNE GOSSIP
Registered U. S. Patent ofncA
K. C.. B.

81 am only laborer, X. C. B., but if you will
let me know what two Of these curtains will cost
| will send the money to the address given and
will also go after working hours and put them up
permitted to do SO, and will repeat the
operation twice month till they are all up, SO
hat the glare of the electric lights cannot cause
dreams of the hell they went through over there
and which left on each Of them its devilish finger
print"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-11-15
n. AND s. WAS To BLAME.

IN devoted OF Heard ana Seen,
So on the car J sit and scheme.
For to appear in PRINT has been my dream.
When all at once ! jump and scream.
Just like some Kind OF awful fiend,
As the sails past my home serene.
And although ] am already tank and lean
The extra walk for Heard and Seen.
So YOU what ZONES from using your
bean,
To think up Jokes like the rest Of the
team.
go n you put this in you will help to
redeem
The feelings of one who holds you In
esteem. l. S. K.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-11-15
CHRISTMAS PRESENT.

met a young fellow about two menths'
ago and like him very much,
want to know IL 1t would be proper to
give him a Christmas present. What would
II be, I am at loss to know.
NJ,
You have known this young man fer 90 short
q time that ] believe I would not give him a
Christmas present, You may net get enc from
him, and IL would be rather embarrassiry to
have him accept one frem yeu, Better wait
and let him take the initiative in this mattes
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-11-15

OF A Buddy's bed.
AND WATCHED them
hung.
AND THE Buddies smiled.
AND ONCE in a while.
HELD BACK a tear.
AS THE letters passed.
AND THEY smiled again.
WHEN 1 passed the word,
THAT SOME Of tho folk.
HAD SENT rea! coin.
TO BUY the shades.
AND BEING bought
THERE WAS nothing to
do.
BUT EMBEzzLR the fund.
ron CIGARETTES.
AND THE like of that.
AND 50 wo cid,
AND ! lief! it there.
AND WENT my way.
I THANK you.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-11-15
THE GOOD-LOOkERS-
WHERE TO FIND THEM

By G. Ito look over some of the
prettiest nurses in Washington just
drop in az Casualty Hospital They
have a cake-caters' ward, and every
body reads II. & s.
By Me- say that the HERZL
boys, who meet at the Y. NJ. H. A.
building, are all right. The Presi-
dent of the Y. M. H. A. is certainly
q fine fellow.
By D. S. Mn that beauty con-
test at Capitol Heights these girls
stood at the top of the list: JESSE
HUTCHINSON. LOUISE MILES,
ETHEL LIGHT. TERESA STUN
BY K-Those are nifty" looking
McGill building.
By What little Jane in the W.
U. office, willard Hotel. is a pretty
one.
BY p. B. about the best look
ing ones in town are on the eighth
floor of the Postotficc Department.
By =. T. McC.-I'm here to say to
everybody that the medical section
Of the navy, Nineteenth and B. con-
tains the best lockers in the world.
and here are Just few: LENAH
TALBOT. MCKEE BERGMAN,
SALLIE BOGGS, MARIE MITCHELL.
EMERY MOORHEAD. QUEENIE No
DONALD, JESSIE GILES.
wife-Yes, in q battle Of tongues
Q woman can always hold her own.
Husband-Perhaps she can-but
she never does. H c. M.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-11-15

Three Georgetown boys"-call-
ing themselves the ''heart-sick
three"--are worried because a GER
tain "swell-dressed young lady" who
rides horseback and often drives q
car, will pay no attention to their at
tempts at filtration, but talks to all
the Knickerbocker boys" They long
TO meet her.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-11-15
A BRIDE-TO.BB.
Saving Our Birds.

Between 1910 and 1910 eleven species OF
American avifaunal life were exterminated and
more threatened. The Migratory
Bird law. In effect In 1913, has done much to
eenserys our birdA
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-11-15
PERFECT GRAMMAR.

UBy Blue Eyes. Of Central High
The winter haz kane,
thee leaves have went.
II was not did
by sxident.
the birds have hue
6s you have saw
Dac south agane
by natures law
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-11-15
WHAT THE LAMP DID.

In a parlor there were three.
A maid. a parior-lamp, and he.
Two II company,
There 10 no doubt,
So the lamp kindly went out.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-11-15
WHAT SHALL. A BRIDE BURNIisHs
DEAR MISS FATRFAX;

VIII yeu kindly enumerata the articles
that are expected to be or those that usually
are furnished by a bride to be married soon
I am OF moderate means
BRIDE-TOBB.
I believe that II Is customary for the bride to
furnish all table linen, all kitchen linen, and all
linens for the bedroom. Also all cooking uten-
siis great many of the cooking utensils as
well as linens. she often receives from friends
as gifts when showers are given for her
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-11-15
A poor simp Is guy who
didn't know a thing could be
done and went and did IT.
BILLIE r.

To prevent children being killed
by automobiles there should be
some go Slow" signs put up nesr
the Abbott School.
MOTHER.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-11-15
WHO'S WHO At TECH.

WHO'S WHO At TECH.
Hero are some of the irresistible
younE folks of Tech High: PEGGY
MORGAN. DOT RUFFUM. VIM. CAR
LIN. K1PPIE GLASSCOCK, and LEBO-
WITT, the largest boy in school.
+. II.
Have you ever been around Central
High during luncheon period and no
ticed tho human porous plasteru
stick ing around tho stone WALTZ
BLUE EYES
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-11-15
.BREAKJNG M IL. AND 8.

"PAECHO VILLA" q "scrutcher
from the great Southeast" wants
to break in TO II and S. and "SLOW
BUT SURE" asks Thdt are the
rules" for contributions
No rules at all Slam right in
by priting the best stu6 you can
possibly think Of
This lost ad in Washington
paper, says J. S. c., will sound
funny to everybody. except the poor
cuss who is the victim:
LOST-Pair 81 trousers on Georgia avenue
between Columbia road and Rock Creek
Church road. Finder kindly return to $40
Quincy st. NV, and receive reward.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-11-15
TYPEWRITER DRAWINGS.

What has happened to our
CLEVER typewriter artists that
they are not sending you any
more drawings? ] think they
were wonderful. Let's have some
more OF them.
GRACE WILSON.
Find two numbers, such that
the first minus the second and
multiplied by the sum OF the first
and second equals the square of
the first minus the square of the
second. II. b. ROSSEIL.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-11-15
GRACE WILSON.
MILK OF HUMAN KINDNESS.


OF Nary's lamb we Oft have heard.
But never 81 her COW
stll. such thing might have . card.
I'll tell you OF II now.
She would have spoken, II cows cud.
OF grass and tender herbaGe:
Her tail forsooth, IL speak she would.
Is this in cowland wordage.
Mary a-miikinE her one day
Was struck by q falling rail;
Then all the milk did run . whey.
Faith, Mary turned quite pail
"T want some talcum powder"
"Mennens?"
NO. Vimmen's."
"Scented?"
mo. | will take IL myself
LEAH @.
You tell EN-. violin. you're high
toned.
You tell 'em Webster. you know the
words.
You tell 'em. asbestos. he can't fire
you. JACK "
] read this "In Memorlam." in q
local newspaper a few days ago:
"In loving memory OF our servant.
Bridget, who departed this house one
years ago today. Gone. but not for
gotten.
mo hand could stay her
She was called away
To a better job
At higher pay"
H. &. NJ
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-11-15
LET US TRY FOR
GREATER ORIGINALITY


Wlh maHv words Of praiSe oosstss
20 the colnBsn there 70 on occasional
criticism that sAOsld receive attesfioa
It's nice 10 have the protse, but Ws
t1aHt fhs col1nis to become brighter
and better, o~d " the hundreds Of
contributors posH buckle dOicn 10 more
ori0,aaI material both they and Tead-
ere 0W ENJOY u.
Sturdy and loyal HENRY "
SMITH 70 fiekIed to sec tAe editor's
door plate" at the heed Of tks
eoIupsH a0ai1. and the big JansiIy Of
"didactic dispensers Of deiecfobis dtc-
ton" all gong at fuH speed Tor the
column.
Yet another loyal fan, t0ho savs
he 10 a "parasite Of the old column,
daily enjOyiaO ths merry gHips aWd
pranks of the hundreds Of coWtrtbw-
tors, for each OF Dhoni there are
kundreds Of readers" urges more
ORIGINALITY.
"BtH." nc says, "yor are being In
posed on. Some Of them are hanging
thugs on y0ur doOr-knOt," oHd Ne
names a Jen contributions that uers.
hooked" from other publications.
Bsf, IN spite Of oil the fuS-dts-
pensers send IN mighty good stw6.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-11-15

profiteer is a ticket Spectator who sells
you a round trip ticket so that he can get you
going and coming.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-11-15

or Nary's lamb we Oft have heard.
But never of her COW
stiil such = thing might have . c1rd
III tell you Of II now.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-11-15

The profiteers have tho works By tho ears
and the courts arc as helpless a. q set of falls,
tecth in a glass Of water
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1920-02-11

CAN YOU BRAID YOUR HAIRT" IF
so, you can obtain pleasant, easy and
well-paid work making braided rugs
for us right in your own home. When
writing for further particulars, send
a small sample mat to show the quality
of braiding and sewing you are capable
of doing. Pinkham Associates. Inc,
800 Anderson ST. Portland. Maine.
MEN OR WOMEN To TAKE ORDERS
among friends and neighbors for the
genuine guaranteed hosiery. full lines
for men, women and children. Elimi-
mates darning We pay soc an hour
perience unnecessary. Write Inter
national Stocking Mill, Norristown Pa
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1920-02-11
KEEP KNOCKE0-0UT TEETH
So That They viii Soon Give
Good Service.

When ones front teeth are knocked
out there is no need to leave them on
the floor for they can he reinsert ~
very well by good dentist. Or Fl NJ
Slavery tells in the Lancet U.ondunl
Of two cases in which the tees h were
completely dislocated from their sock.
cts.
In one case the teeth were placed In
salt water while NE dentist carefully
washed out the sockets. Then they
were reinserted. a stitch or two placed
in the gums and the jaws were ban
daged shut so that the teeth hit on q
pad of lint In the other case the
teeth still hung 10 the gums 81 the
sockets were cleaned out without de-
taching the teeth
In both eases the teeth became sol
idly fixed and the patients could use
them for normal biting a few months
after the accident.
DR.. c. De Witt Henry Of New York
replaced not long ago the teeth of a
truck driver that had been Knocked
out in a collision. The man had pick
ed his teeth from the gutter and run
up to the dentists office carrying them
In his hand
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1920-02-11
ELLSWORTH FALLS.

Augustus Moore ana wife of
BucksFort were here Monday and
Tuesday
The community was shocked by
Ehe death of one OF its prominent
citizens, oscar Staples. last Saturday
morning. Mr.. Staples had been
troubled with bad heart for some
time, and it was while suffering one
of these attacks that he passed out
very Suddenly. His age was sixty
years. Mr.. Staples had lived here
nearly Iii his life. and had been en-
ployeo As foreman for long time at
the 1rewCrgy mill. He was a val
ued EN- 9lOyee, and always popular
with TIE men working under him.
He Wa interested in orcharding and
farming TO considerable extent,
and - both enterprises was very
successful. Mr.. Staples leaves a
widow and two daughters-Mrs.
Clinord Sargent and Mrs. Lena
Moore. and one sister, Mrs. John w.
Moo. 2. who have the sympathy of
all. Tie funeral was held at the
home Tuesday afternoon, at 2
so'clocA, Rev. Henry W. Conley offici-
atin1 Tie body was placed in the
tomb Il Woodbine cemetery.
C--.----ee Johnson of Lubec was
'he-e c-or Sunday and Monday, on
his 49, home from a trip to Bos-
ton
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1920-02-11
Worlds Larnest Vaults.

In the underground vaults Of the
new United States assay office, the
cornerstone of which was laid recently
in New York, can he stored more than
10000. 100000 in gold. They are said
to be the largest and finest in the
world. according to Popular Mechanics
magazine. Five of the eight stories
Of the building will be located beneath
the surface of the earth Sealed In
the cornerstone of the structure are
copies of several newspapers; med
al on which there is a portrait Of the
president. and a bag containing set
of United States coins ranging in value
from one cent 10 500. besides other
articles Of interest and value The
building will cost over $4,000.
Ellsworth American. [volume] (Ellsworth, Me.) 1855-current, 1920-02-11
PEANUT" UNIT LOOKED GOOD
But After Receiving Letter From AZ
rieultursi Department "city Suck
er" Did Not Invest

A city man got q very glowing circu-
lar from Chicago development com
pany" offering him ten acres of land in
Florida for the surprisingly small sum
of s. NHl-a peanut unit" the circular
called ii. He could grow. the circular
said, thousand bushels of peanuts on
his ten acres and could sell the pea
nuts--allowipg for low prices AT 81
buShel. The city man was impressed:
but he sent the circular 10 the depart
ment of agriculture with query as to
whether or not the investment was a
good one
Following are some sentences from
the letter he got In reply; The lit.
erature is Of the kind designed to de-
ceive city people in the North and
West who do not know anything about
farming" THE average return from
ten acres Of peanuts would not exceed
$500 TO $500" You could buy a 100
acre farm in almost any of the coun-
ties of western Florida. including the
one mentioned in the circular. for the
price these people ask for ten acres"
1.-THE whole unit system. whether
II is pecaHs, pearhaS. figs. cane. pea
nuts. hogs. or what not, is simply a
means Of selling land nj three TO five
times what it is worth to ignorant or
unwary small Investors" ITO pay ST.
500 for this ten acres of land would
stamp you as a sucker of the rankest
class. - Exchange