Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-12-24

PERTH AMBoY EVENING N
BITS OF BYPLAY
By Luke Mclnke.
Copyright. 1890. by The Cincinnati Enquirer.
OUGHT
In China men mnst pay q t.I
And, IL to pay the poor Chink failed,
He is beheaded with an az,
1t is a case of Heads or Tsels.
The wise Fool.
"Few men know themselves intimately OBJ
r ~No wonder.s commented the Fool. Most
people have little use FOR di'asrees0ie aesuan
Strange:
7, sure is a joke how often we're broke
And how your coin hies like a rocket; -,
II sure does beat smash how a bunch of>cold
can burn a hole in a mans pocket.
MY. my!' said the Old Fosy. as ne looked
IN from the newspaper he was readihs, see
million dollars the day he was born has an.
nounced that he is broke and bankrupt. whae
q fool and spendthrift he must have peen!
"Huh!' grunted the Crouch. Tin otner words'
he hasn't the cents he was born with.
That Sugar Planters wild. j fear
His escapades give me a pain;
His reputation's bad, I fear,
And he Is always raising cane.
Paw Knows Everything.
Wilis-Paw, who 10 the Man OF the Hour!
Paw-He ~ usually some man VINO lass
about that Ions, my son.
Spelling the Eject.
am In love with Helen HUT.
So to her faults I would be biino'
She's pretty as q picture. but
She's in an ugly frame of MIND
Ever eat an Atlanta breakfast" asked the
NO" replied the Eastern Man. What is
.You order a bottle Of hair tonic, a slice of
and an empty Gomez CON, e. CUP ,ps ,, iep's of toast
over the coffee cup. pour the hair tonic on the
and drink the alcohol you ma In the
MAYBE He Was An Run Down.
(Harriston fOntario) Review
Msssrs. Ross and Cross McGirr left last Tues
day for Colorado. One OF them will return to
shortly to superintend the windins-up
Of their father.
Clyde Herring ran for Governor o. Q Al
HOoray!
Cheer up, brother, don't be anappy,
Let q smile replace your frown.
1t should make a man feel happy
To
prices
down.
Luke McLuks.
He will not be filled with pleasure,
No rich joy will MI his cup,
Till gain I'm es In larger measure
Canton (ohio) News.
Boy. Page MI. volstead!
Some of W have made up our minds to fore
the stuff, while others will keep on going
or il. But what we started to tell you was that
James Will Booze lives in Cedartown, Ga.
What's the Fare To New York?
The Federal Prohibition Director has an
bounced that the folks in New York will havs
o get on 120 900 quarts of whiskey daily here
lfter. He has approved the withdrawal OF that
mount per day.
George Goodman, a taxi driver, and his fare,
I. Beegood. were arrested in Mobile, Ala. for
intoxicated and running the taxi into q
patrol wagon. There's nothing In q name.
You Know HIM.
A quarrelsome cusa 10 Daniel Dent,
He surely loves to fight;
He'd rather win an argument
Than know that he was right.
Luke McLuAe.
Yes. Daniel argues loud and long.
He shouts and tears his hair:
The more he knows that he is wrong.
Ne more he paws the air.
Newark Advocate.
To Daniel, then, blame doth belong.
For, with peace aims In sight,
The more the others know he's wrong,
The more he knows he's right.
Memphis Commercial-Appeal.
Our Daily special.
Money Makes The Auto, Go.
Luke McLake Says
Any school boy can tell you that people who
know the answers ask the most questions.
overcoat never Ands it cold enough to
button the overcoat.
Every time a wife finds q railroad timetable
IN her husbands pocket she has visions of him
away with a SIMPLY Chicken or a paint
I'd Blonde.
The farmers are getting SO wise that some of
.hese days we expect to hear Of q come-on man
from the City being buukoed in a rural COM
munity.
II the H. c. of L. doesn't soon slump Mother
will be sending Johnny to the store for eight
carats Of beef and four carats OF butter.
Scientists have discovered that paprica will
Ahn thA la ~ o1.A Ira rranAhtn thu AUspc