Palisadian. [volume] (Cliffside Park, N.J.) 1906-current, 1920-07-31
COT BILLS COAT
He Simply Couldn't Understand
About Wife's Hands.
Doing Only Small Part Of House
work Allotted to His HeIpmate
His "Fins" Were Sight,
but Hers, Never.
Bill Is wearing glovesl

Bill Is wearing glOvesl
Any time you see Bill wearing gloves
know We that something has occurred.
1t may be death and Bill may be
going to attend the funeral, or it may
be that Bill Is bound for a wedding,
or else there is always the chance that
the Improved Order of Joints is going
to have some sort Of ceremonial and
that Bill is going to be participant.
1t was knowledge Of this peculiar
ity which caused all to look at Bill
in an inquirtng sort Of way when he
came in t'other night and which
prompted Joe to ask: whats the big
idea, Bill, that you've got your fins
covered"
"Wife SICK"
Bill said no more You'll agree that
1t was far from a satisfactory ex-
PLANTATION. Joe voiced the sentiment
when he remarked, petulant like.
"that's a hi of q reason!"
"Huh I"
1t was plain Bill wasn't going to be
voluble on this subject of ''them"
gloves. Now if there is one thing in
this world that Joe delights in more
than another 1t is in pecking away
at Bill, and Bill equally enjoys seek
ing to harass that persons nanny.
II said that wasn't much of rea-
son." repeated Joe. "My wife's been
sick and didn't wear gloves; don't
see no reason on earth why you should |
no oil i,1cf %ho
Missus is Ill. unless you're expecting
her to pass over and are making pre-
liminary arrangements for the serv-
Ices"
That nettled Bill. Smart, aren't |
yOu," he asserted. "It's the great |
wonder of my life that some Of the |
funny papers like the ,Undertakers'
Herald haven't engaged you to con-
duct their humorous column. You're
about as funny, as. as-as a stick
Of wood. Now you're so darned in
quisitive, just look at them"
Bill peeled off the gloves and dis
played his hands.
Say, but you ought to have seen
'em. Red! fresh boiled lobster
was dark blue compared to those
hands! /
There's the answer" says Bill
'"The wife's been sick and I've been
doing the hOusework. didn't mind
it much at first, sort Of fun, you know.
Made me think I was some cheese
around the house. Didn't do 1t just
because l wanted to, but because l
had to. Couldn't get any help and the
wife had to be cared for, had to have
a bite to eat and the house had to be |
looked after. did it; yes, did. ]
cooked and swept and washed
dishes and, believe me, I did some
chore but gosh almighty, don't un-
derstand it yet, why my hands got SO
blasted red.
"Just look at 'em." Again Bill dis
played those hands. "Look at 'em;
aren't they beauties! Honest, the only
thing l can think of every time I look
at those hands is Joe's nose before
the first of last July.
"Those hands, say, began to get
red. They got redder and redder I'M
til they're what you see displayed be-
fore you. Will they stop there? ]
dunno. But this here Is what gets
me: When the wife is on her feet
doing the work, she does 100 times
as much as I've been doing; she not
only washes the dishes, but she scrubs
the floors and washes the clothes and
cleans the house and gosh only knows
what and, by hockey, I've yet to see
her hands when they look even slight
~ red. What's the answer? Tell me?'
Sam. in Lewiston Journal.