davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1920-10-30
We TOWNE GOSSIP
Registered U. s. Patent Ofhes:
BY X. C.. B.
BEVERLEY, Mass.

DEAR X. c. B.-Theres family in our street
with lot Of children, and the mother never seems
to scold anything, and the hands voices Of the
children are raised against the other, and
peace dwells there en- familie.
There's Miss Eighteen and Miss Sixteen and
Miss Ten, and no more until along comes little Miss
Four, and close upon her heels comes little Master
OF course, with so many misses for sisters, and
one missus for mama little !wo-Year-Old, Us
WELL you know what an influx Of women gender do
Well, K. C. B., after enjoying all the petting and
spelling of q vacation-filled summer, little Master
schoofilled fall days, and the other day while Miss
Eighteen and Sixteen at high school, and little
Miss Four-Year-Old had some pressing doll bust
Year-od decided he'd 60 to school after lunch with
Miss Ten-Year-Od.
Ten didn't know Master Two had decided to 20
she tried to send him back, but Master Two had
no notion of going back, and all her wiles, and
ing and promising failed.
So she tried to carry him back.
He fell lightweight upon her arms and strug-
She gave up and tried to drag him.
And then she found out how much per cent Of
mule there is in a male gender's makeup.
There poor en-Year- Old quite In tears, for
the moments were slipping by, also the other boys
She called Mother" as loudly as she could and
mother heard. but she dressing and couldn't
come. Instead Mother called to Master Two-Year-
Old and Master Two-Year-Old called back:
"I'm don' T. tool"
Miss Four-Year-Old, having finished her doll
business, then came to the aid Of her elder sister,
and Elder Sister grasped the opportunity and skip
ped.
Miss Four Year-Old coaxed and persuaded, push
ed and tugged, but brother was immovable She
promised him part Of some candy that she was
going to have tomorrow" He was rather inclined
to yield, but tomorrow seemed too vaguely remote
after ALL and he made last supreme effort to break
2way schoolward.
In blind panic Four-Year-old lifted up her voice
% Mother" calling for a promise Of big piece of
nice "choclit" cake for brother fright now" if he'd
come back
And, X. C. B., that worked like charm The
mothers voice had scarcely reached his before
making for home as fast his fat little legs
would work.
The reason I'm telling you this little human
interest story Mr.. K c. B., Is that you may send
he baby girls philosophy to all her sisters old and
'oung-to never try to drive man. but entice him
ave whatever road they want him to take with
cholit' cake, or cream cake, pie, or whatever
is he likes best, and that'l save a lot of tears
nd time, and energy. Yours very truly
ID. Z. B.
The Washington times., 1920-10-30
The Martyr
ny w. O. VAN BRYClk.

Now face to face he pleads his cause with God
Like the brave youth who crisped his hand in
ERE
To show the foe what stun the Greeks were
made of,
He starved in sight OF plenty as a sign
BY which his land would conquer and be free.
All ages and all races have bred men
who looked on life as less than liberty,
And died dread deaths for what they thought
was right.
Yet each new martyr shines as did the frst;
Renils the lamp OF Freedom. nerves faint hearts
And aids weak hands with more than guns and
gold
name TO conjure with and rock tho world,
God rest McSwiney. dead for 1reland's causel
The Washington times., 1920-10-30
CONCENTRATION.

Mandy Jones was colorcd dame
who went one. day for a lark
Her wages in a nice new purse.
To nearby racing park.
A tout whispered in her ear.
III you want to win some douFh.
Play Ginger In tho seventh race
That horse sure can 10.
He took her down to the paddock,
Where her horse, with other shoats,
Was standing quite contented
Enjoying q peck Of oats.
But Mandy sadly shook her head,
With smile upon her face,
"Ah don't put no money on dat havse
His mind amt on de race
@. b. C.
The Washington times., 1920-10-30
WHERE SHALL THEY cor

know this is slightly out OF your line. but
could you please suggest q number of places
which would be nice for q honeymoon in De.
cember? / expect you to say Florida, but do
not want to go SO far away: not over eight
or ten hours run at most BRIDE-TO-BE.
French Lick Springs Is in Indiana.
White Sulphur Springs and Orkney Springs
are in Virginia, and are not far from wash
ington. Either would be a good place to spend
a honeymoon in December. Then there is At
lantic City which Is very popular in the winter
time for honeymooners.
II you do not care for any Of these resorts
would suggest you consult the railroad folders,
which are easily obtained.
The Washington times., 1920-10-30
Beatrice Fairfax
Advice.
SHE CARES FOR HIM.
DEAR MISS FAIRFAX:

I am a girl Of seventeen. and am in love
with another girls sweetheart When he Is
with me he tells me that he loves me, and
that he does not care for the other girl. But
he still goes to see her. care great deal
for this young man. Do you think that he
is doing us girls justice? Don't you think that
he should choose between us and give one OF
us up. Please don't think this letter silly. l
am not jealous Of him, and have never had
quarrel and we see each other often.
BROWN EYES.
Since you acknowledge he is another's sweet
cart, that should settle the matter for you.
When he gives the other girl up entirely, II
ne ever does II will be time enough then for
you to talk about falling in love with him. You
re much too young to know what love means,
but there's no harm in talking about 1t.
The Washington times., 1920-10-30
s.GRIT.'

sShIT.
See their features lined and old,
Each face a story ever told
OF battles, hardships and the stench,
That each endured while in q trench
One lost q leg. perhaps an arm:
Another blind. but Just - calm
As IL the game Of life stul shone.
A Kingdom, and . Crown, his own.
There's hope in every one of them.
It's Just q tide you cannot stem.
What would you call TT This Is ";
Courage, Faith, and Just plain Grit
Sergt. s. q.
Out at Walter Reed
The Washington times., 1920-10-30
TO n. AND 8. POETS.

TO III. AND B. fOEIb.
Drucilia's verses are rare.
I like 'em.
As q poet she's all right there.
like her.
Some ine day famous she'll be.
All right now, just walt and see!
Say, fellows, let's all agree,
We like herr!
I must also make mention OF Chevy.
Her (His ~ verses are light. not heaNy'
For It's light stun that we need,
To drive our cares on in all speed
Three cheers for our poe:, Chevy. -
l. NJ. TELLISYU.
The Washington times., 1920-10-30
TALKS ABOUT HER.
DEAR MISS FAIRFAX:

am very fond Of boy friend OF mine and
I had every reason to believe he was fond OF
me until a few days ago, when a friend of
his told me something he had said about me.
This something was that he didn't like me,
but was just trying to have little bit of fun
out of me- This made me feel very badly until
on questioning this boy friend of mine found
out that he hadn't said 1t. He said he would
never think Of saying such thing. Now. al
though. have confidence in this boy also
have confidence in his friend, and I don't
know what to say or which to believe
BLUE EYES
How can you havo confidence in both, and
in the next breath say that you don't know
which to believe? Confidence is belief. o.
course, one is lying. Both may be lying. Better
tell both of them to be on their way.
The Washington times., 1920-10-30
GOOD WORK.

II. SMITH Is first to answer II. LIS
charade. the best that has come to
our notice. Here II Is:
A suTLER sat wrapped in his ULSTER
watching The Moonbeams' LUsTER play,
And this 10 the song he did sing;
Thou UNREST the good. thou FULLEST
The RESULT Of great battles to thee be-
And the i.av-s with a Rustic took up
the song 60
The Washington times., 1920-10-30
FOUR MINES MAKE Ioo.

X. A. CISSEL sends some stryct,w
new answers to e. L. F's probIem
He gives: 30 minus o. divided by o:
9s divided by 90: o times Q. divided
by b times o; 8 times o, then add o
and divide by o; 8 plus 0, divided
by D plus %: 0 divided by o. multi
Piled by Q divided by o; 8 divided by
D, and the result divided by that OF
o divided by 8.
The Washington times., 1920-10-30
HE NEVER SAY AN AUTO.

Read in The Times recently that
JOHN BROWN had been injured In
an auto wreck. Far be 1t from me
to criticise, but this is SOME stale
news. as well as being "balled up
relative to the nature of the accident,
for he has been dead the past xty
odd years. having succumbed to In
iuries sustained in n fall"
HARPERS FERRY.
The Washington times., 1920-10-30
CHEAP EGGS.

"A lady vent to a store to buy 70
eggs for 20 cents. Hens eggs were
n cent each, duck eggs cents each,
and goose eggs cents each. How
many OF each did she buy?
H. c. NJ
The Washington times., 1920-10-30
Ceylon's Plumbago Mines.

Plumbago. Ccyion's most important mineral
product, IL known all over the world for Its
irstor, lubricating. polishing and binding duali-
lies. In appearance II Is n strong black cry.
stsiline. There are now about thousand mines
In ceylon.
The Washington times., 1920-10-30
TO THE ACTING EDITOR.

Someone told me you had nothing to do;
nut I don't believe that that can be true,
Because ! know what you have to 70
through;
And I feel Kindly toward you,
The Washington times., 1920-10-30
MORE MATHEMATICS.

BY adding the numbers from to s,
get 1900. u. j.
What number subtracted from 2
equals the same number divided
by Q? Y. =. MARINE.
The Washington times., 1920-10-30
BROKE! BROKE: BROKE,

Break, break. break
oh thy cold, gray stones. oh, sea:
And not be as broke as me.
BELIEVE o. NE.
The Washington times., 1920-10-30
MATu SHARKS ATTENTION.

what Is the smallest number which
when divided by ?, J, 4, or Will
always leave I remaining but when
divided by will come out evenf
ELMER oIIARA.
The Washington times., 1920-10-30
SMOKY.

Tommy-won't ye git sick?
willie-Naw! I've smoked FOR
years. My fodder smoked Ash. me
Grandmother smoked hams, and l
smoke everything / git my hands on!
FLOSSIE BEE.
The Washington times., 1920-10-30
Light On Article Ten AS Wilson
Wrote Ii, and Now

ARTICLE of the Wilson covenant, how the suprsmsl
issue the only article in the league covenant written by
Mr.. Wilson
The President prepared draft for the entire covenant
about three thousand words but this rejected and
English draft substtuted-au except Mr. wilson's Article
K That was made part of the British covenant after
Mr. Wilson had yielded to England his demand for free
dom Of the seas" and open Of peace openly
arrived at"
T. Mr. Wilson also suggested guarantee of freedom Of
religion in all the nations created under the treaty but
this also unacceptable to Great Britain Her constu
ton recognizes only church and her king heir ap
church
The draft of Article K written by Mr. Wilson his
own typewriter was turned Friend House a SOU
ven It is now preserved the White House stationery
as originally written. It is as follows:
'The contracting parties unite in guaranteeing to
each other political independence and territorial in
tegrity but it is understood between them that such
territorial readjustments, if any, in the future
become necessary by of changes in present racial
conditions and aspirations or present social and po-
cal relationships pursuant to the principle OF self
determination, and also such territorial readustments
may in the judgment Of threefOurhs Of the delegates
be demanded by the welfare and manifest interest OF
the peoples concerned be effected if agreeable to
those peoples; and that territorial changes may in equity
involve material compensation The contracting Powers
accept without reservation the principle that the peace
of the world is superior in Importance to every ques
ton of political jurisdiction or boundary"
Mr. Wilson's original draft did not require unanimous
consent for ordering Six Of the nine members Of the
counci-the six European and Asiatc monarches repre-
sented in the council and additional votecoud order
such war, and Mr. Wilson's draft provided in Article
XI. as follows:
cit shall be the privilege and duty of the executive
council to recommend what effective military naval
forces the members of the League shall severaly
tribute and to advise if it should think best that the
smaller members Of the League be excused from making
any contribution the armed forces to be used against
the covenant breaking state"
This no League of peoples for peace. 1t was an
imperiasc foreign syndicate Of intriguing dipomatists
an alliance of great Powers to control the world The young
men of America all of and money we're
to be put the command of that mperas foreign synd
cate sitting in secret in Europe
If this document not in Mr.. Wilson's own manu-
script no one could believe that American President hac
ever fathered such a scheme
Mr.. Wilson still insists upon the acceptance Of Article
by the country without "any multiplying qualification
That is the League Mr. Cox is pledged to 60 into That
is the League that MI. Harding is pledged to reject
| I. vNl>o~> H. III
The Washington times., 1920-10-30

She: "Stop holding my hand
lie: II amt holding your hama"
She: "wcil. sint you going tor
SIXTY.
The Washington times., 1920-10-30
SOMETHING THAT WOULD IN
TEREST RACE HORSE FANS.

He had TICKET on the Parr
entry and he felt JOYFUL when he
saw his horse In FULL CRY after
HIGHLAND LIGHT, but he became
BUoHoUSE when he saw the blum
der at the last jump.
MAN-oF-wAR-
The Washington times., 1920-10-30
AND THEY DOUBT JONAH,

They tell me your father had the
misfortune of having his Ford stolen
from him while on his last fishing
trip?"
II understood dad to say fish swal-
lowed it."
"Nonsense!"
Really! Dad told me the last he
saw OF 1t II was speeding down a
PIKE. HARPERS FERRY.
The Washington times., 1920-10-30
Why Be DOwnhearted?

Cheer up. sad heart, and cease repfnlnx;
Election day will soon be past;
The sun, OF course, will still be shining
No matter how the votes are cast
The world will turn upon It's axis
Though some men win and some men lose:
Forget that there arc income taxes,
Remember there's a ban on boone.
The Washington times., 1920-10-30

RaENGHENGHER tells how TO
drive nail without hit ng your
hand-hold the hammer in both
hands.
The Washington times., 1920-10-30

w. d. PAYNE asks CHARGE
D'AFFAIRES what Nero played
when Rome was burning. Hot
Time In the Old Town." OF
course. SHEETS.
The Washington times., 1920-10-30
so NOTE 1T DE.

l wish to inform MILO n. that
Know bit about roll tops" NV
mother has been wearing them for
nfty years. God bless her. hope she
wears them many years to come.
SLIM HENDRIX
The Washington times., 1920-10-30

MRS. A. +. suggests trousers with
hip pockets so the new "copettss"
can carry their revolvers.
The Washington times., 1920-10-30
LIBEL ON ID. c.

Up in Philly the Baltimore HOP Is
known as the Washington Johnny.
Amt that cute? u. N
The Washington times., 1920-10-30
PATIENCE. CHILD

Seems to me BILL has been gone
long enough to be on his honeymoon.
J. c.
The Washington times., 1920-10-30
REQUIEsCAT IN PACE.

Say Buddie, tell Gertrude X. that
Lots dead. w. ID. p.
The Washington times., 1920-10-30
ss11EARD a.
ORIGINAL CONTAINERS.

ORIGINAL CONTAINERS.
I saw women coming out OF kANN'S
md men out OF SAKS and eggs out Of
OYSTERS. NJ. T. HEAD.
A NEW BROOM.
When you get married.
and hubby gets cross,
Just pick up q broom
And say, I'm boss"
NJ. D. H.
From Mississippi.
The Washington times., 1920-10-30

CLEO AND SALoME-Your sigma
lures are all right. Now write the
contrib.
The Ocala evening star. [volume] (Ocala, Fla.) 1895-1943, 1920-03-09
CORPORATIONS MAY FILE
TENTATIVE RETURNS UNDER
CERTAIN CONDITIONS

Jacksonville, March 9.-"Just this
morning | received the following in
formation from Commissioner of In
ternal Revenue Daniel G.. Roper. and
l am giving it to the press immed-
lately" said Collector of Internal
Revenue James M Cathcart, "as it is
of great interest to the corporations
of, Florida.
"I am authorized to accept tenta-
tive corporation returns for the calen-
dar year 1919 on or before March Is,
1920. Each return much be accom-
panied by at least one-fourth Of the
estimated amount of tax due, together
with statement setting forth the
reason why the return cannot be COM
pleted within the prescribed time, and
q formal request for the extension.
Any deficiency in the first INSTALL
ment will bear interest at the rate of
six per cent per annum.
can extension Of time is hereby
granted to corporations in such cases
to file completed returns on or before
May 10Th. 1920. The tentative re-
turn submitted in accordance with the
foregoing should be on form 1920, on
which should be written plainly
across the face, Tentative Return.
Only the estimated amount of tax due
need be stated"
The Ocala evening star. [volume] (Ocala, Fla.) 1895-1943, 1920-03-09
IRVINE

Irvine, March 9.-Mrs ]. L. Davis,
Mrs. Sue McIver and Miss Mamie
Fant spent Wednesday in Ocala.
Mrs. Joseph Cherry and Mrs. Frank
Cherry visited Fairfield Thursday
afternoon.
Mr.. Flowers spent Friday in Mont
brook attending TO business matters.
After six months of hard wrok, our
school closed March 5th, and every
one seemed very happy.
Miss Rubye Edwards spent the
week end with her parents, Mr. and
Ms. L. K. Edwards.
Mr. and Mrs. E. R. Mills and Mr..
and Mrs. E. A. Osborne of Ocala
spent Sunday afternoon with Mr. and
Mrs L. K Edwards.
DR.. and Mrs. J. L. Davis and Mr..
J. A Triplett visited Lake Weir Sun
day morning.
Mr.. and Mrs. Young and children of
Orange Lake, Mrs. S. H. Bitch and
Messrs. Lands and LOOMS Bitch of
Biitchton called on DR.. and Mrs. J. L.
Davis Sunday afternoon.
Misses Annie and Jessie Beville
and Messrs. Ward, Brown and Bishop
Of Gainesville, visited Miss Mamie
| Fant Sunday afternoon.
The Ocala evening star. [volume] (Ocala, Fla.) 1895-1943, 1920-03-09
CONCERT TOMORROW
AFTERNOON AT THE
WOMAN'S CLUB

Tomorrow afternoon at the Wom-
ans Club the health committee of the
club. Of which Mrs. Harry c. Dozier
is the chairman, has arranged an un-
usually delightful musical program
for the tea, which this committee is
to give, the proceeds of which are to
be used for the memorial avenue and
Tuscawilla park. There will be no
charge for this program but silver
Offering will be taken and very
cordial invitation is extended to eve
ryone to be present and it is hoped to
make this affair one of the most pleas
ant afternoons imaginable.
After the musical program refresh
ments will be served by the health
committee and any of those present
desiring to do so will play cards or
other games and spend social hour
together.
Among the musicians who will take
part in the program for the afternoon
will be Mrs. H. M. Hampton, Miss
Music Bullock, Mrs. Philip G. Muir
ply and Mrs. L. G. Ketchum. Mrs
Ketchum will play her accompani-
ments on her auto harp and she and
Mrs. Murphy will sing a group of old
fashioned songs with the harp ac-
compartment.
Mrs. Oliver Bryson of Charleston
formerly Miss Pearl Pearson, of this
city, who has a beautiful voice, has
been invited to sing and has consented
to do so in the event that she is still
in the city, and Mr.. Eddie Armstrong
and his aunt, Mrs. Wells of Belleview
have also been invited to sing and i
is hoped they will be able to be pres
ent on this occasion.
The various committees of th'
Woman's Club are giving differen
affairs during the winter for the ben
eft of the park and are making espec
ial efforts to have them very attrac
tive.
The Ocala evening star. [volume] (Ocala, Fla.) 1895-1943, 1920-03-09
EDITOR LOST HIS RIGHT EYE
Assaulted on Street by a Ruffian
Whose Finger Nail Cut
Into the Optic

kiSSimmee, March w. B. Har-
ris, editor and one of the owners of
the Kissimmee Valley Gazette, had
his right eye gouged out Saturday,
when he was unexpectedly attacked
on the street by Fred NJ. Bass, candi-
date for the state senate from the
Nineteenth senatorial district, COM
prising the counties of Osceola, Or
ange and Seminole.
Bass became incensed with Mr.
Harris because he did not receive a
reading notice in the Kissimmee Val
ley Gazette when he advertised his
announcement in the paper Friday,
March 9Th.
Words passed between the two men
in the Office of the Gazette Friday
and Bass became insulting and was
ordered out of the office. Saturday as
Editor Harris was crossing the park
way on Broadway. Bass approached
him. asked him if he intended to apol-
oeize or. would he. Bass, have to give
him whipping.
Mr.. Harris replied he had nothing
to apologize for. Thereupon Bass
grasped the editor hy the collar and
a scuffie ensued. Bass is a young man
about six feet three inches tall and
weighing over 200 pounds. Harris
is a man of small stature and weight
and had no chance in the encounter.
He fell and Bass on top of him struck
him with his fist and then gouged
Harris right eye with one Of his
fingers, the nail penetrating deep into
the optic.
Sheriff Ingram and others pulled
Bass off the PROSTATE form of the
editor.
Mr.. Harris, Saturday, went to Tam
pa and placed himself in the hands of
All eye specialist and it was ascertain
ed that the finger nail of Bass cut
through the pupil of the eye, enter
ing the lens. cutting it loose, it float
ing about and the science of an optic
ian cannot anchor it. Mr.. Harris will
be blind in this eye for life.
Bass gave bond for his appearance
in city court Monday morning. Edi-
tor Harris returned last night from
Tampa is weakened condition from
his Observation-Disclosures 9Th.
The Ocala evening star. [volume] (Ocala, Fla.) 1895-1943, 1920-03-09
KEIGHTLEY AERIAL CIRCUS
ARRIVED THIS MORNING

Mr.. X. j. Lutes, business manager
OF the Keightley Flying Circus, arriv-
ed in the city early this morning to
make arrangements for a suitable
landing place for Major Keightley,
who arrived in his plane on schedule
time, about II o'clock this morning,
making a landing in what is known
as the Hall farm two miles out on the
Silver Springs road.
Major Keightley came from De-
Land, where he took lady passenger,
Mrs. Alice Drinkwater of st. Peters
burg. This aerial circus will be in
Ocala several days and any one desir-
ing an air ride can have same by see
ing these gentlemen. As soon as they
decide on a field for. landing, it will
be announced in the Star.
Major George NJ. Keightley, for
meTly an instructor at the u. S. avia-
tion school at San Diego, Calf, Paul
Kee nand r. J. Lutes made up the
trio of experts. Every day Aviator
keightley as pilot will be accompanied
in his plane by Aviator Keen, who
will perform some of his daring
gymnastics in space and at an eleva-
tior of not more than 100 feet, so that
all may witness his stunts. These in
clude wing walking, climbing all
about over the plane, hanging by his
his toes from the landing gear and
standing on his head on the wings of
the machine. The flying stunts will
probably start at 10 a. m. daily and
end at 6 o'clock in the afternoon.
! Mr.. T. NJ. Kilgore, as usual. was on
| time with one of his new Velie cars
10 greet Major Keightley when he
arrived this morning in his airplane.
The Ocala evening star. [volume] (Ocala, Fla.) 1895-1943, 1920-03-09
EQUITABLE LIFE SHOWS GAINS
Payments to PolicyhOlders Last Year
3,99O,OO0-Assets $599, 100000

Payments TO POl1cyhOlderS Last Year
S73,99O, O,OOO-Assets S599, 100000
The sixtieth annual statement of
the Equitable Life Insurance Society
of the United States gives evidence of
the company's continued progress.
The new insurance in 1919 totalled
$454, 1899 900, and the outstanding in
surance reached the $2,270,000,000
mark on December 81; S72,990,O00
was paid to polifyholders and bene-
ficiaries in death claims, matured en-
dowments, dividends. annuities, etc,
during the year. The average policy
issued was $3299, as against $2743 in
1918. A large increase was made in
the number of policies payable on the
monthly income plan, as well as those
taken to protect business interests
and to provide for inheritance taxes.
Of the total new insurance issued
$19,575,000 was group insurance for
the protection of employees Of several
hundred mercantile and manufacture
| ing establishments, for which all
premiums were paid by the employ
ers. Notwithstanding a heavy in
crease in the number of claims handled
early in the year due to the influenza
epidemic, 81 per cent. of the total was
paid within twenty-four hours after
receipt of proofs of death.
Albert E. Gerig is Ocala agent foI
the Equitable.