South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1920-12-01

Down south whenever any one
perp7trates some particularly monu-
mental piece Of fooushness every
body says: send for jesse
Holmes"
Jesse Holmes IS the Fool Killer.
OF course he Is a myth. Ike Santa
Claus and Jack Frost and Gen.
Prosperity and all those concrete
conceptions that are supposed to
represent an idea that Nature hes
failed TO embody. The wisest OF the
sOuthOners cannot tell YOU whence
comes the Fool Killers name; but
few and happy are the households
from the ROanake % the Rio
Grande in which the name OF Jesse
holmes has not been pronounced or
invoked. Always with a smile. and
often with a tear, is ne summoned
10 his official duty A busy man is
Jesse Holmes.
I remem Der the clear picture OF
him that hung on the walls OF my
fancy during my barefoot days when
was lodging his oft-threatened
devoirs To me he was a terrible
old man. in gray clothes, with a
long. ragged. gray beard and red
dish. fierce eyes. / looked TO see
him come stumping Up the road IN
81 cloud OF dust. with a white oak
stan in his hand and his shoes tied
with leather thongs. I may yet
But this Is a story. not a sequel
have taken notice with regret.
that few stories worth reading have
been written that did not contain
drink Of some sort Down 90 the
fluids. from Arizona Dicks three
fingers OF red piZen 20 the inehCaCi-
GUS OOlOng that nerves Lionel Mon
trcssor TO reparatee in the ''Dotty
Dialogues" So, In such good COM
pany ! may introduce an absinthe
drop-one absinthe drip. dripped
through a silver dripper, orderly,
Opalescent cool, green-eyed-de-
Ceptive.
Kerner was a fool. Besides that,
he was an artist and my good friend.
Now, IL there is one thing on earth
utterly desPicable to another, 1t IS
an artist in the eyes OF an author
whose story he has Illustrated. Just
try Il once. Write story about
mining camp IN Idaho. Sell It.
Spend the money. and then six
months later, borrow a quarter Cor
n dime), and buy the magazine
containing It. You ind a full page
wash drawing OF your hero, Black
Bill. the cowboy. Som ewhere In
your story you employed the word
horse" Aha the artist has grasp
ed the idea Black Bill has on the
regulation trousers OF the NJ F II.
OF the Westminster County Hunt. lie
carries a parlor rifle, and wears a
InonocIe. In the distance is "a sec
tiOn OF FOrty-secOnd st. during a
search for a lost gas pipe, and the
Tai Mahal, the famous mausOleum
in India.
Enough I hated Kerner. and
one day 1 met him and we became
friends He was young and glori-
ously melancholy because his spirits
were so high and life had so much
IN store for him. Yes. he was al
most riotously sad. That was his
youth. When n man begins to be
hilarious I'm a sorrOwful way you
can bet a million that he IS dyeing
his hair. Kerner's hair was plenti-
ful and carefully matted as an arr
lists thach should be He was a
CfCareteur, and he audited his din
nerS with red wine. But, most OF
all he was a fool. And wisely. I
euvied him, and listened patiently
while he knocked VelasqueZ and
Tintoretto. Once he told me that
ne liked a story OF mine that he
had come across in an anthology
lie described 1t to me. and ! was
SORRY that Mr.. FitZ-James O'Brien
was dead and could not learn Of the
culoCy OF his work But mostly
Kerner made few breaks and was
q consistent fool.
I'd better explain what 7 mean by
that. There was a girl Now. a
girl as far as I am concerned. is q
thing that belongs IN a seminary or
nm album: but I conceded the exist
ence OF the animal in order 10 re-
tain Kerner's friendship. He
showed me her picture in a locket
she was a blonde or a brunette
] have forgotten which. She work
cd in a factory for eight dollars a
week Lest factories quote this wage
hv v'ay OF vindication. 7 viii add
-r-. --, -f-' f.-T .-1--7 ~-- --.t
yerrs to reach that supreme eleva-