South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1920-03-21

Il don't believe you'd marry
man" remarked the Bachelor re-
hectively, as he lit his after-luncheOn
cigaret. Ii he possessed all the
hundred -and-seventy-nine virtues!"
The Widow glanced up from under
her fiower-toque. and eXtravagantly
dropped two Jumps OF sugar in her
demi-tasse.
Il certainly shouldn't" she an
nounced emphatically. If there we're
any such man, he'd have 70 paste
court-plaster patches all over his
soul Just 10 pretend TO a few little
vices, in order to interest any
woman! The seven deadly mascu-
line virtues are trying enoughl'
Tho seven deadly - WHAT"
breathed the Bachelor, completely
mystihed
The Widow opened her violet eyes
in feigned establishment.
Didn't you know" she queried
sweetly. that every normal man
! possesses seven deadly virtues?'
mo-" returned the Bachelor, 81
thought his sins took up all the
available space In his cosmos? What
are they?" ne asked with rising i'm
terest.
We'll" and the Widow began
! counting on her finger tips, Firstly,
there is his discretion"
az knew II was something hate
full" sighed the Bachelor.
THE indefatigable care" explain
ed the Widow, with which he
/ guards his freedom, his secrets. and
! every other mans secrets-from a
woman. You might just as well try
TO get chatty and confidential with
a brass Bhudda, as attempt to lure
one man 10 tell you anything about
another mani"
you bet" exclaimed the Bach
elor. thankfully. He is not a human
1 colander-like womanl The
weaker vessel-fIed with gossip!"
Yes" agreed the Widow. re-
! luctantly. "Td always rather confide
I nv secrets to a man-friend-but it's
awfully hard. 10 be chummy with
anon-rehllable. sealed bottle! And
! secondly" she proceeded, there's
/ his constantcy!'
! His con! Would you mind
saying that again." asked the Bach
elor, leaning forward, Il don't think
heard you"
His constancy," repeated the
/ Widow, ito his habits! And TO his
daily routine. and 70 his prejudices,
\ and his favorite newspaper. and his
pet pipe. You can always tell pre-
I cisely what he will do tomorrow
/ or next day. by what he did yester-
day. He never changes his mind
nor his ways, nor anything but his
heart. Even his affections don't
/ changes-only the object OF them
I changes. He is constantly in love
with somebody. And thirdly" she
hurried on, before the Bachelor
could retort, there is his beautiful
| devotioni'
ITO himself, ! suppose-or 70 one
| woman-after another" suggested
the Bachelor. not TO be caught nap
ping by her deceptive fiattery again.
NO" corrected the Widow with
deprecating sweetness, his beautiful
devotion 10 his own sex! Women
may he always quarreling. like the
/ factions IN q South American re-
public. But men stand together IN
a solid phalanx. You know my old
| theory--the beBt man on earth will
| deceive the nOblest woman on earth
In order 10 protect the guiltiest man
on earth from her anger! And IL is
! beautiful"
Go on said the Bachelor lean
ing back with resignation. 1T may
be q virtue: but, the way YOU put il
Il sounds more Ike a crimeI'
And fourthly." continued the
Widow, mercilessly. there is his
loye-of-orderi"
Now you've struck IL" declared
the Bachelor. There is no woman
on earth who worships order as q
nan does,"
And who has so little OF it," ap-