The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-11-28

When we stop to consider how many people were killed by automobiles in 1920, eleven fatalities on the gridiron testify to the comparative safety of football.
 MT. Bryan is under the painful neces- sity of getting out another issue of the Commoner which doesn't contain the announcement that President Will. son has resigned.
 American marines in Haiti want to be transferred somewhere else. Life is dull in Haiti except when somebody starts an investigation.
 Outside of England and France, the consensus of opinion seems to be- if the Greeks want "Tino," they are wei come to him.
 a.
 obregon enjoys the unique distinc- ton of having been shot at and missed probably more times than any other prominent citizen of Mexico.
 Y x x eating his Thanksgiving dinner. It may have suddenly occurred to him that he hadn't paid for it.
 If the farmers would quit bawling for relief little while, they might hear lot of other people shouting for assistance.
 British statesmen who are trying to wish the mandate for Armenia on Uncle Sam may have been misled by his pictures.
 < * <
 Lengthened skirts for spring fash ions will give pair of neat ankles a chance to attract little attention.
 x. * x
 Toys will be cheaper this year. Ropes of pearls and other trifles of that sort will command the usual fancy prices.
 < < !
 Some of our leading bolsheviks failed were thankful they were not in Russia.
 * < X
 The hardest wrench of all is con tributing to campaign fund after the campaign is over.
 Judging from the number of nations trying to enter the league, it must be pretty good club, anyhow.
 "HELLO" OR FARE YOU THERE." From the Philadelphia Inquirer.
 It is surprising to learn that in the latest issue of the London telephone di- rectory subscribers are asked not to say 'Helio"' The general impression has been that Englishmen invariably use the less abrupt salutation, Are you there." Yet the London Morning Post speaks of the use of the shorter, uglier word as a habit which has become second nature to 99 out of every 100 of those who use the phone,' and says it lis hardly likely to be replaced by the more genteel but less expressive Are you there?' and the like"' It is plain that the novelsts who make ali their characters say. Are you there." have been misleading us. Or is this their way of convincing us that they deal only with the ''genteel?"
 At all events, ''Ae you there?' has not been able to hold it's own against 'Hello!' despite it's greater gentility. There is. to be sure, an abruptness in the latter which might rule it out of ordi- nary polite intercourse. But to telephone users it has become purely a technical word. Indeed, it is the general greeting throughout the world Thus. the French man says "Allo!'' with no thought of dis courtesy Any satisfactory substitute would be difficult to find We do not know what are the like" phrases to which the Morning Post refers but if they are cumbrous as Are you there?" they probably have little chance of adop- ton even among Englshmen.
 What is the objection of the British pestoffice. which operators the telephone. to "Hello?' Do the girls object to it as ungenteel and unfit for the ears of real ladies? Let us not b,lrSt in i,noroncA