The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-03-02
One Way to Win q Heart

dearest hapel, MS Hr6t 'NNS
read. And l. may call you dearest
and Mabel may i not7 ! have an
Interesting proposition that l want
to present for your approval. and
trust that II will interest you TO the
extent OF eventually answering In
the Affirmative. I am, as you know
a salesman by mail. TRY to arouse
in my prospects an interest IN the
object j wish to dispose of and
finally, TO make II n bargain. Later
on ! will reveal my proposition In
other letters, but at the present
I'll not say more than TO state that
I hope you are well and HAPPY
Yours. eXcitedly,
ELMER JENKINS"
Elmer surveyed this epistle with
much satisfaction.
ct has the personal touch-the
touch that makes 'em buy he told
himself. That Dearest Mabel
stuff is great. II will give her
little Jolt. arouse her interest at
once. Then her possible agitation
at my abrupt use of the term OF en-
dearment and of her first name VIII
be smoothed over by the undoubt-
ed dignity and restraint OF the fol-
lowing sentences.
with her interest aroused
through this personal touch, i next
play on her curiosity. What Is this
proposition ! hope to reveal to her
in forthcoming letters? Why should
/ wish to arouse in her through a
personal letter the same sort OF IN
terest that 1 arouse in a buyer.
Finally, why should l sign myself
Yours excitedlyT That is a master
touch. 1t reveals the true genius OF
a letter writer. The fact that
am excited will communicate a cor
allary excitement In her.
Her excitement will be pleasur-
able. because OF tho delightful in
ferences ! half suggest in my note.
and this excitement, curiousity and
interest will all work out to arouse
in her the proper attitude for the
affirmative response to the ques-
ton / shall PROFOUND in my last let
ter: viii you marry meT"
Not however, satisfied with his
first summing up of the good points
in his note, Elmer went over the
epistle with the care of a breach
of-promise attorney going over the
papers" in a 100000 suit. Elmer
altered word here and there,
stuck in a few commas, and then.
after carefully copying the letter
on the stationery he had so stu
diously selected. he consigned the
important document to the care of
Uncle Sam.
He determined that his next let
ter should go to Mabel on the
morrow. But, as he was pacing
back and forth on the street in
front of his office. trying to COM
lntt hal
in new automobile. She hailed
him delightedly.
"oh. Elmer" she cried, come
here"
Elmer came.
'Mr. Jenkins" said Mabel. want
you to meet Lieutenant Snodkins,
my husband"
"Your-your husband" gasped
Elmer. with Keeling brain.
Yes, indeedy. We were married
this morning. 1 met him at a
dance last night and proposed to
him during a foxtrot"
You proposed to him." gasped
Elmer again.
Yes. indeedy. We girls have to
work fast these days with all the
girls going after the men instead
OF waiting for the men to go after
them"
II see" muttered Elmer. MAX
ing a mental note to Immediately
throw out all his carefully COM
piled data on "The Feminine APP
peal" etc, which he had hereto
fore used in his letter writing.
Well" went on Mabel what I
called you over for. Mr.. Jenkins, is
this-I got your letter this morn
ing, and I knew right away what
you meant. You got wind Of my
marriage somehow and right away
you decided to ask me for our
housekeeping business. And / said
to myself that anyone as enter
prising as you ought to have IT.
SO we're going to buy all our
housefurnishings from you. You're
SO businesslike, Mr.. Jenkins
Mr.. and Mrs. Lieutenant Snod-
kins waved Elmer a good-by and
drove of.
Elmer drew his right finger
around the inside of his moist col
lar and viciously stamped upon a
mimeographed lctterhead that had