davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-04-15
Short SnatcheS
From EUe1yWhere

.,. ~. cushing says he removed some
thing from Gen. Woods head. Il
wasn't bee.-Omaha News.
me suffragists would probably say
that Delaware, not Rhode Island. is
ne ne smallest state in the union
providence Journal
Naturally a number OF Democrats
think Mr. Hoover displayed execrable
taste IN declaring himself a Repub-
ne4n--Des Moines Register.
mere was no Easter egg rolling
on the white house lawn this year.
put log rolling at Washington IS 20
ing on as usual.-Boston Globe.
Why waste money going to col
leges when the packing trust is
OF me uDlict-Cappers Weekly
'Ex-tanks form a nationwide or
ganizatiOn," says an announcement.
what a mighty membership II they
all join.-San Francisco Bulletin.
Herr Bauer has resigned from the
cabinet because he IS so unpopular.
That's where Burleson is so different
from Bauer.-Richmond Qnd.) Item
Leonard Wood thinks the secre-
tary Of agriculture should be a
farmer. And should the secretary Of
the Interior be a middleman2 MAN
chester Mirror
1t viii tax the ingenuity Of Demo
cratic spellbinders TO say worse
things about the Republican leaders
than they are saying about each other.
-Greenvine Piedmont.
The bo1sheviki haze abolished the
study Of grammar, geometry and
physics in Russian schools and ses-
sions are a. m to i a. m. They
evidently propose TO stand in with
the rising eneration.-Steuben
Herald-Ster.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-04-15

We are, pleased TO be able 10 an
uounce to enthusiastic nmerickers
who are supporting our presidential
candidacy, that our campaign man
ager, jefferson Shrewsbury Mutt. is
arranging a grand parade Of rhyme
sters for the latter part Of this
month.
The limerickers viii be divided into
squads. each headed by a yell leader,
who viii make his slogan: Rail
Rail Rahl Dudley for President
3lush. Rot, Ash Pile. Garbaget" The
last words Of the yell viii. Of course.
refer 70 what our opponents will look
like after the votes are counted
Blr. Mutt viii lead the parade. rid
ing on a white horse, as he has e bad
foot
Now, today's rhyme, friends, IS one
Of JOY. II tells Of a maiden who has
been informed that she can marry
the lad Of her choice, no matter how
much OF a boob he may be. She is
extremely glad. and this fact should
give you a tip as TO the missing
word. II. by any chance, you work
out the puzzle, send the rhyme in
quickly, together with your check
for $500 and a dozen corn plasters,
and you may find you have been de-
clared the winner Here's the rhyme.
said Mary Ann Jones IN tones
snnppyi
Il just saw my nanny and pappy.
They said could wed
The ragman's son. I'd.
Look out or III bust I'm so -.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-04-15
About BroadtOay Plays And Players

NEW YORK. April is. - George
IN Vivian, who knows Shakspere
better than any other stage d.
rector OF farce comedy now frequent
Ing the haunts Of Broadway, has a
scheme and vows he intends TO put
il in effect Mr.. Vivian announces IN
all seriousness that he intends to
make Hamlet" over into a musical
comedy and try his darndest to get
some manager to produce II in New
York as a sumner attraction. When
It IS known that this enterprising
young man served a number OF sea
sons with the Ben Greet Players and
has staged many classical works, It
may be realized that there Is a kick
in his clamor- In other words, his
earnest prorestatiou that there IS
good musical revue in the story OF
the Melancholy Dane may have
foundation He staged "Oh. Boy" for
Grossmith & Laurillard in Lon
don year or so ago. and there
appears TO be no reason why he
shouldn't make a rafting good
Jazz show out OF Hamlet" BE has
arranged with Perse Benton 10 write
the book and lyrics. Mr.. Benton has
never before attempted this line Of
work, but he feels certain he can do
it, as he has been in the acting game
all his life. The principal musical
number OF the show will be called.
Hamlet Was Another Gloomy Gus"
Hold your tongue-the big show is
coming.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-04-15

military road from Fort Bliss TO the
river It is desired by the military
Bonds amounting 10 $4,000 viii be
voted for this The other bond issue
IS for 100000 for a badly needed
road il the upper. valley
TT should be remembered that FL
Paso was defeated when II failed 10
get the eantoumeut for Fl Paso. be
cause OF It's non cooperative system
towards Fort Bliss at that time and
this Is what we are up against to-
day
and we must give Il 70 them II We
fail to secure this road for Fort Bliss,
we viii pay for It in more ways than
the few dollars we would be ont in
taxes. to say nothing about the addi-
tional taxable property which would
come to the county south o. govern
ment hill
-Four new. additions are sure to
come on the market Immediately
after the completion OF this military
highway.
Il wish 20 say that there IS moth
ing strangely silent about this mil
itaEy road to the river. The govern
ment has been after this road for
three years 10 my certain knowledge
The military has had It surveyed, had
the property owners together and got
their consent for the right OF way
and Gen R. L Howe and Col John
John wagner were with the petition
ers working on the matter. Col
Wagner went before the commits
sioners and offered the government
leans and fresnos with teamsters
to do all the grading This was es-
timated, would save the county about
S400 900.
Another point in favor OF the road
is the fact that we proposed with the
governments aid to build the road
from Fort Bliss 10 the county road,
but this was protested against by the
government, the military saying that
they wanted It to the river II they
were 10 help TO build It. The govern
ment wants the road and I hope 1t
gets t."
The vocational guidance bureau Of
the z NJ c. A. is for the purpose OF
helping a man help himself more than
for the purpose Of direct assistance
In finding work for persons needing
it" sad A II. Wheeler, councillor
OF the bureau Many OF the ap-
plicants at the bureau need work.
but have not the slightest idea
as 10 how to obtain it, and often
do not even know for what they
are fitted. It is the work Of the
vocational guidance department TO
discover the applicants capabilities
ana assist him to a place where he
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-04-15
Little lnerUieDs.
Voting Bond Issue Means The Construction of Needed Roads
Y H. c. H. Doing Great Work In Placing Unemployed Men

viii best work. Many business men.
by looking through the list OF appli-
cauts are able to find just the man
they want instead OF having TO in
terTiew many utterly unsuitable ones
before finding the right person"
Z think local sports. such as box
ing and wrestling, regardless Of
whether or not they are held on the
military reservation, and no matter
what they charge. within reason.
should receive more support than f
Pasoans are giving them" said H D.
Steele. I have heard OF some oppO-
sition to the sports that many men
and a large numbEr OF women, enjoy
Others are not so actively opposed.
but merely withhold what support
they are able TO give these sports II
our young men are deprived Of red
blooded sports they will son deterio-
rate into street loafers and get into
Easos every person who thinks, ought
70 realize that these sports make for
clean manhood and cannot possibly do
any harm. No thinking person will
deny the good effects Of clean sport
The time IS coming when a federal
law VIII Be enacted which viii make
life harder for strike agitators than
u IS at present ana will include even
the strikers themselves" said Edward
thornton. This country is contin-
ually having trouble and time is taken
up with arguments with these trouble
making strikers. all Of which IS cost
ing the public money. The people are
getting tired Of this and are going
to rebel at the repeated striking.
labor has overplayed its hand. No
longer are the people so tolerant Of
the everlasting trouble and bickerinr
IN labor ranks. Wise labor leaders
recognize this and are doing their ut
most 20 stop this continual striking
and quarreling."
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-04-15
Between Man 40 Woman
By HELEN ROWLAND.

A S a small boy hateth a bath. as a
n bolshevik abhorreth a shave, as
woman dreadeth the word
''where"-so doth a man abominate
the word Why
For, alas. all the days Of his life.
his ears have been afflicted with the
song OF Woman. and the burden
thereof is Why
why dost thou love NEE"
why dost thou NOT love me-r
why art thou distraitgr
why art thou late2"
Why can't we afford IT. Why
can't ] have it?'
why dost thou never kiss mer'
Why did ever marry thecr'
Yet, with all her quesuonIngs. 1
say unto thee. WHAT woman hath
ever unveiled a mans thoughts. and
heard from his lips his REAL reason2
For his answer IS always.
Because it's SOr'
Because I SAY sor'
Because 7 Dor
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-04-15

gone 10 Mineral Wells for a week or
! ten days
The rear room OF the Coney Island
saloon. Tom Powers proprietor, is be-
ing Fitted up for a poolroom-
Judge Beauregard Bryan. OF e
Paso. a member OF the board OF re-
I tonight for Austin TO be present at
the Inauguration Of Prof. David f.
Houston as the new president OF the
university.
Federal Judge T. S. 1Iaxey settled
the Cotton receivership case this
morning by discharEinE the receiver.
c 2. Kelly, and ordering the accounts
against the Cotton addition as a re-
suit OF the receivership case. paid
At the meeting OF the department
Of letters and art Of the Woman's
club, the following were elected.
Chairman, Mrs George F. Tiltous
vice chairman. Mrs J. D. Love- secre-
tarys Mrs. A p. Averill. director, Mrs
s. J. Freudeuthal-
Frank Bell has returned to FL Paso
from Los Angeles.
= !. Ormsbee viii soon leave on an
extended trip to the east
J. n Cannon returned yesterday
from a trip 70 the east
Mrs 3. r Hammett has returned
from her visit 10 Hot Springs. Ark
Santa Rosalia. Mex. Judge and Mrs
Joseph Magoffin VIII also spend three
or four weeks in Mexico at Santa
Rosalia springs
Mrs ". W. Turney, who is now at
Alpine, viii return in a short time.
Mrs. James Mari. jr., viii entertain
at luncheon Saturday.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-04-15
Ripping Rhymes
By WALT MASON.
Climate


TRAVEL snaoothes climate: and when at
last I've found the best doubt m deity north
travel SOUTH ind the folks complaining; drouth
and there it's always raining sit down beside
fu
hend thE0ws III with hail
the FOAM Cork TO Nynzas; all
worst that e The
tented For there friends drilling round quickest
and where dearest friends
travel earthly heaven always sigh my old town
dimensions five by
Copyright George Matthew adams. WALT MASON
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-04-15
rs Long as the Soul Is Young

A &c comes TO steal our strength
To rob u OF our youthful Eraces,
To dim our eyes and make Us gray
And band our backs and crease our
faces.
But Age may bring its pleasures TOO,
And he has little cause to fear IL
Whose dreams are youthful dreams
and who
Keeps in his breast n youthful spirit
UEsTERDAT saw n picture show,
And sat between two white haired
mens
They loved the heroine, I know.
For ] heard them signing now and
then.
And when the hero learned, at last,
H1W bravely she had borne her
woes,
And caught her close and held her
One Eraybeard had TO blow his
nose
Vudged me and whispered @Attaboylr
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-04-15

The Passion Flower" prepared that
play for New York presentation
within fortnight. but happily plans
were well formulated before the play
ers were engaged, and Alfred Hicz-
man took them in charge.
so many plays have been staged
in New York this season that they
bring TO mind the anecdote relating
to the amateur hunter" remarked
Mr.. Herndon. This youthful shot
was accompanied by a guide down
south and flushed a flock OF part
ridge He raised his gun and pre-
pared 10 fire. but was stopped by his
guide
Don't shoot commanded the
guide, the gun isn't loaded
I can't help that was the reply,
the birds won't watt"
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-04-15
Ship By Truck.

MO community VIII welcome ship-by-truck week more
than FL Paso, for the reason that no community viii
profit than FL Paso by widespread system of truck
delivery. Not only FL Paso, but the entire Southwest viii
hauls.
The roads generally IN fair condition over west
Texas New Mexico and Arizona Where they IN need
Of improvement this Improvement would be virtually
sured If 1t had to be made to enable any given to
compete with other routes for truck haul business
By hauling load hack the revenue could be doubled
If pound charged and load Of only one ton
hauled each way the gross for the return tp
would be $40 When is considered that he profits
in ten weeks would buy a truck" enthusiast
figures and that truck will if taken Of last at least
two years, it be that If roads maintained
the venture would be profitable
Another advantage would TO FL Paso. If the
farmers and townsmen of surrounding communities knew
they could get prompt deliveries today goods ordered
yesterday and that they could money transporta
ton costs, they would look to FL Paso and for
nearly everything they could not get right at home.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-04-15
Definitions.

salary-A salary is an employees
dividend
Sunshine - Sunshine. scientifically.
is the retraction and reflection b
the atmosphere OF the light which
radiares from the central orb OF our
planetary system Seurlmeuta1lv IL il
the smile OF the universe Moonzhins
IS a tWinkls Of the universal eye
Home-Home is where a family car
live and love and fight and laugh and
cry most happily.
" oman-Woman is the gate to lie
The window ,through which nan looks
70 love and the trap door through
which he often drops to death
Amman IS the only animal that
has learned 70 talk and, apparently
the only one that has forgotten how
70 love
arriage-MarriaE d a partner
ship assumed By means OF a contract
that Is partly civil and partly re-
llgious and as the result OF which
the parties 70 the contract frequently
lose both their civility and their
religion
Love-LoTe is a nervous phenome-
non known as a sentiment, consist
ing IN a more OF less constant re-
action TO the stimuli afforded b. the
CHARMS OF an individual of the oppo-
site sex These stimuli are carried
IN the form OF an appeal bgt the
aIlereur nerves 10 the seat OF ana
tlyeness in the rebellum, whence
arises the pleasant and sympathetic
sensation known as love. This sen
satlou expresses itself through the
etterent nerves IN the form OF smiles
bushes, oeling and not infrequently
By the laying on OF hands ana IN the
expenditure Of monies on the object
Of the sensation, otherwise the person
furnishing the stimuli
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-04-15

A GAMBLER friend
WHOM 1 used to know.
HAS PASSED away.
AND SHE who told me.
HE HAD some
SAT down with me.
FOR Az hour or two.
AND We talked Of him
AND SHE It was
WHO BROUGHT to him
THE GRIEF she found
N STRICKEN homes.
AND TOLD him tales
OF POVERTY.
AND HUNGRY mouths.
AND sHOELEss kids.
AND WHEN she'd told
WHAT SHE had found.
THIS GAMBLING man.
Would GO with her.
AND FROM his gains
mL-GOTTEN gains
THE WORLD VIII say
THEY'D PURCHASE things
FOR HUNGRY mouths.
AND sHoELEss kids
AND GO their way.
IN TAxICABs.
AND LEAVE the things.
THAT THEY had bought
AND SCATTER Joy.
WHERE GLOON had been.
AND NIGHT would come
AND wHoa! they served
WITH WHAT they bought.
WOULD SLEEP in peace
WHILE HE
THIS WICKED gambling man.
WHO DEFIED the law.
WOULD PLY his trade
I KNEW this man.
FOR TWENTY years.
AND MANY times
TOOK him grief
THAT had found.
WHEN OTHER folk.
MORE LAWFUL folk
HAD TURNED deaf ears.
To WHAT / told
AND IN that time.
1 NEVER heard.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-04-15

Because 7 WON'T"
Because ] want TO
Because WilliH
Because I think So"
Because I couldn't, because I
didn't. because 7 forgot-and likewise.
-Oh. becauset
Wherefore then. oh. thou Foolish
One wilt thou continue 10 seek 70
REASON with a mani
For man considereth that time
wasted which is consumed IN Eek
planning" things to woman And he
would rather be misunderstood al
the days OF his life. than obvious and
lnteliigiblei
The unreasonabieness OF Woman
hath inspired the jest Of the VIII and
the sermon Of the sage since the be-
ginning OF time
But, I say unto thee. there IS this
difference only, between thems
A woman cannot reasonl'
And a man WILL NOT reason
Copyright. 1890. BY the Wheeler Syn
dictate. lnc-l
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-04-15
GOSSIP

High and Dry" a play with
music, was put in rehearsal today by
Moore Patch. The book is by Angus
tin NcHugh and Douglas Leavitt and
the score was written by the late
Manuel Klein. The first perform
ance viii be given IN Baltimore on
Nay 10
Dorothy Dickson and Garry Hyson.
hitherto known as dancers. have their
first speaking and singing parts in
'Lassie," at the Nora Bayes theater.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-04-15

The speed with which new plays
are produced in New York is indl-
Gated by one which IS due TO arrive
on Broadway. Il required but 10
days to prepare Il. The managers
heard that -hey coulG get a play
house on a certain day, and to take
advantage Of this great opportunity.
they organized the cast and engaged
a producer.
Richard c. Herndon, producer Of
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-04-15

is the organized Of the community It fifty
represents all the people, and not any special class.
In every community there is always much talk Of eco
operation Here N FL Paso have actually learned to
cooperate, N big way, all the worthwhile people, al the
time with the chamber Of in the lead Other
cities welcome to the idea FL Paso has fear Of
petition Watch the Fl Paso chamber Of
$1,000 budget IN two afternoons in April
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-04-15

Rachel Barton Butler, author OF
''Alamma's Affair."" who Is 70 inauEu-
rate a children's theater at the Lit
tie theater this month, has selected
Alice in Wonderland" for the first
bin. She has made hre own adapta-
ton OF il
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-04-15

A GE comes to make Us walk around
n The rocks we once Ieaped over
lightly
To cause Us to become profound
And strive no longer 20 be apriEhtly.
Among our dusby locks we find
Too soon that gray hairs have beea
surinkleds
But they need not call Age uhszfnd
Who keep their souls from being
WrimEied.
A 7 the movie yesterday learned
n That men whose boards are
white and Ions
Nay stlil be eagerly concerned
When villain gets girl IN wrong.
The two old men beside me r-rieTed
because thines seemed to 90 ams=E,
But when the heroine received
The handsome herofs LINGERING Efrr
] knew that each deep in hfs heart
Was PLAYING the young lovers parf.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-04-15
We TOWNE GOSSIP
4 s
Registered O s Patent otnes.


A PROFANE word
NOR VULGAR tale.
CONE FROM his lips.
AND ALL that time.
HE WAS ny friend.
AND / was his.
AND ALL that tine.
HE BROKE the law.
AND STILL
I SOMEHOW feel
THAT WHEN he left.
THIS VALE OF tsarl-
AND FOUND himself.
OUTSIDE the gaia
AND KNOCKED
THAT IT nay Be-
ST. PETER smiled
AND SAID to hin
Il SHOULDN'T DO Il.
But COME On In
I THANK you.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-04-15

I'll PASOANs should by all means
u vote for the road bond issue sat
urdav." said r. ". Ardoin, "for
badly needed
-One Of the most important Of
these, 70 my mind, is the proposed
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-04-15
II Years Ago Today
From The Herald OF This Date 1900

NEWS from Naples. Italy, concern
IN ing Vesuvius. continues TO be sat
isfactory. The sun is able to
penetrate the cloud OF smoke and
cinders-
New guns were distributed to the
troops at the post this morning and
the soldiers are busying themselves
getting acquainted with the firearms.
County clerk Park Pitman has
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-04-15

I feel that I must write a rhyme.
III call Il TO a Baby"
Let's see-I guess ! must use dime,
You'll like this poem. maybe
The sun IS shining bright. and say
I saw a poopledink today.
This writing is far from play,
I wish I owned an auto.
What follows nine2 The answers ten
You knew that much. I'll bet you;
Girls love ice cream and gum and men.
Be careful or they'll get you
Sweet Spring is here, but what's the
diff
This rhyme may seem quite senseless,
stiff.
That's how Il seems to me. biffi biffi
Soon flies viii bother father
FROM THE CHESTNUT TREE
a rolling stone gathers no moss
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-04-15

If he doesn't bothered with nominations and
things he could Just issue edic declaring himself per
petual president. Whom do mean? Wei, there's Mex
leo and the .. S. both to think about.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-04-15

The president and Mr. Palmer may be to blame be-
cause the price of sugar went up they have been
cused but there IS evidence that they worked up any
perspiration trying to keep it down.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-04-15
To Participate In High School Pageant

THE girls taking part in the dance in
the picture are Misses Bertha
Watson, Minnie Hayward, Ella Petit
colas, Elizabeth Gale. and aThe Spirit
Of Poetry" Emmie Wheatley, IN the
center Of the group.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-04-15

Time when people supposed to take off their
shoes when they entered church now men are supposed
their hats, but the churches of Phoenix Arz
propose that the at least shall discontinue the dis
carding Of raiment.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-04-15

If the .. S navy IS supreme by 1923 let unite IN
the ferTent hope that somebody who knows something
about salt water and going craft VIII be in charge
It as secretary Of the navy.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-04-15

Earliest German literature con
tains evidence OF a migration from
Asia
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-04-15

Mayor Davis IS night. The teachers must have more
pay we viii have public schools worthy Of the name
He is also right IN saying the aldermen must struggle
along on their present pay.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-04-15

THOUGHT EOH TODAY.
A cautious gambler seldom wins
Pinklespeare.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-04-15

The few who gave their real names when arrested
IN the recent gambling raids viii know better next time.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-04-15

THEIRS only one thing thatU mix
with business an that's printers
ink tn best Saturday bargain is q
bath.
f-,,v-f-rs ,-,.t,-,r D-,--v,,-.- s.-vt-.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-04-15

The switchmsn who are figuring how many are on
viii soon be figuring how much they out.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-04-15

The vote in Illinois indicates that anybody who is
Republican VIII get some votes.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-04-15

Tea is unknown in Korea
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-04-15

FROM THE CHESTNUT TREE
"A rolling stone gathers no moss
'-No. but It acquires a helofa polish"
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-04-15

oDyright By George Matthew ADAMS.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-04-15

Congress proposes to have peace even if it has to fig
or II
Evening star., 1920-03-12
Underskirts, $l.9S

Underskirts, $l.0S
Made with cambric tops
and deep hounces Of good
quality wAsha BILE en-.
broidery; many styles. At
$1.9S.
Nightgowns, $500
OF flesh colored lin
gerie cloth. trimmed with
lace, and yoke Of en-
oroidered satin, At $500.
-Bar4ain Daseaslt,