Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1920-03-04
A Wonderful
Wife
(copyright. 1913. by the Mcclure News
paper Syndicate)
BY r. RAY BAKER

Copyright. 1919 by the Mcclure NEWS
paper Syndicate)
Gary Hazard, dramatic critic of the
Morning Star, scowled into the cloud
Of tobacco smoke for which his long
cuye-stenmed pipe was responsible.
'No use" he sighed as he tore a
sheet from his typewriter and cast
1t into the waSte-hasket. Il simply
can't make the girl out good vaude-
Whilst. She's wonderful 10 look at,
but when they put her on the vaude-
vile stage they spoiled fine wife"
His face took on a little smile as he
sat there at his desk In the editorial
room. He was in a hurry to finish
his criticism, or rather the printers
were in hurry TO get it, so they
could close up the theatrical page
But somehow he just couldn't seem
to go on with his work.
All about him was noise. Type
writer's We'd with telegraph instru-
mcHts in a contest Of sound and
every now and then the linotypes
would chip in with their musical
tlnkle-tinkle whenever some one opened
the door to the composing room.
The city editor was roaring into
a telephone, repeating for the fifth
time The words: II didn't get that
last name; will you please spell it?'
The state editor was bowling into an
other phone, and the telegraph and
news editors were arguing rather
loudly over the size Of head for the
League of Nations story
In the midst of this apparent con
fusion Gary sat at his machine and
dreamed about the girl he had seen
an hour and half ago on the En-
press vaudeville stage.
Gary did not try to delude himself.
He realized he was In love with the
girl had renowned possession Of his
heart the moment she skipped onto the
stage, ana the worse her act became as
1t progressed the more deeply Gary
became enmeshed in her charms The
girl fitted the mental picture of his
ideal in features, height gesture and
voice. And yet her act was absolutely
impossible.
That was why Gary's hands lin
gered on the keys of his typewriter
He could not hear to give his honest
opinion as TO Mildred Harrison's act
Mildred Harrison In a Whirwind Of
Song, Dance and Merrlment." Twice
he started to write complimentary
Of emitting mention of her in his re
view, but quickly changed his mind
when he realized the omission would
be more noticeable than a few words
of adverse criticism. AS to the com
plments that he wanted TO write.
and which he knew her act did not de-
serye--well. he simply couldn't write
a lie. He knew. and everybody else
at the theater that evening knew. that
Mildred Harrison was failure on the
vaudeville stage, as was evidenced by
the tttering heard during the would-he
serious moments Of her program aud
the forced ''haw, haw, haw" when she
endeavored to be witty
How did they ever let her on the
stage7" he asked himself. Surely she
must have had big pull with the
powers that be-"
Wen, 1t was inevitable, He was
paid money to give his honest opinion
as to the acts on the bill, and he
owed 1t to his paper and also to the
theater-going public to do just that.
Besides he would be doing the girl
a favor by telling her in print that
she was a failure behind the foot
lights. SO he finally wrote:
Miss Mildred Harrison is very
girl, with an enhancing per.
sonality, but when II comes to vaude-
Miss Harrison, may it not |
be suggested that you try some other
means of earning living2 As a |
yaudevillist, Miss Harrison, you are
you would make some
young man a wonderful wife"
Gary finished his criticism and hand |
ed 1t to the city editor, through whose
'AhNN II must pass lhfil ne went
back to his machine.
I've killed that girl as far as her
stage career is concerned" he sighed. |
Her job expires tomorrow morning
there's no doubt of that, because vaude- /
vile fans take the Star ms their Bible"
"And Il also ends my job. After
his I'm through People may think
rs fun slamming stage folk, hut IL
Sn't It's better to be one"
He wrote his resignation. 10 take
affect I'm two weeks, and went home
o bed. The next evening he went
% the office early, and was greeted
by the managing editor, who in
'ormed LIN codly that his reSlgna-
ion was 10 take immediate effect MS
lis position already had been filed.
Now, Gary was a yaudevillist him
elf Two years before he had been
popular on the stage, and had quit
he game only because he had grown
ired Of the constant hopping from
me town TO another There was a
tanding offer for his services right
low. however, and he an once wired
o the booking cftice-and received n
adorable reply.
Gary was a good newspaper man.