davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Colorado statesman., 1920-06-05
Colossal German Theater.

One of the worlds most colossal
theaters. and by far the most bizarre
Is the great auditorium recently open
ed in Berlin. The dreary exterior or
the building is monstrous. but gives
little promise Of the surprise within
The curving walls Of the foyer, says
an illustrated article in Popular Me-
chanics Magazine for May, merge In
to a domed roof. supported by carved
mahogany columns. The upper por-
ton of each column Is formed by many
disks that radiate orange and blue
light from concealed bulbs. The audi
torium itself suggests the Greek open
air amphitheater. The 5000 seats
are ranged In horseshoe plan around
an arena, or more properly, an or
chestra.
The Colorado statesman., 1920-06-05
Chess Expert Doomed.

Senor Capablanca has set up as
remarkable a record as ever was made
in any sport In his chess exhibitions in
Great Britain and ireland. His total
score in 1852 games Is 1888 wins, II
draws, and % losses. His opponents
have included all the best English
players. He takes them on thirty or
more at a time. To each move on the
board the Cuban master devotes an
average of nine seconds, his victims
six minutes. Recalling the tragic his
tory of the great chess experts, OF
Morphy and others. one asks fearfully.
when will Capablanca go insane!-
New York Globe.
The Colorado statesman., 1920-06-05

signed article in recent issue of the
American Legion Weekly. He writes: /:
"rhe American Legion's fight for the
fourfold optional compensation plan
has entered new phase.
THE opposition. defeated In its at
tempt to invoke popular sentiment
against the measure itself, has turned
from the direct TO the indirect method
of attack. The new strategy Is to
strike the bill, through the instrument
of fomented controversy over meth
ods of money raising.
ALREADY the attempt is being made
to divert attention from the bill to
the question of the means by which
the money shall he raised to carry out
its provisions. If the advocates OF
different revenue-prOducing schemes
can he played off against one another
the congress embroiled in dispute
over money raising, in which the DILL
occupying the role of innocent by
stander shall receive mortal blow,
this design will have succeeded.
THE fourfold plan has withstood
the closest scrutiny. The economic
soundness of the land settlement,
home aid and vocational trimming op-
tions and the fact that the fourth OPP
zion can be paid automatically to the
dependents of those who died, TO all
disabled and to those needing assist
ancc. makes the plan the best solution
of the problem of beneficial legislation.
"A majority of congress favor the
bill. Congress. however. begins us
summer vacation soon. Unless the
hill is passed before that adjournment,
the chances Of its ultimate passage
will he greatly impaired and the fu-
ture of ali ex-service beneficial legis-
1ation injuriously affected National
beaduuarters has pressed the legion S
case with all the vigor 1t can com
mand and has received admirable sup
mort from the membership. II Is I'M
perative that these efforts be sus-
tainet,. State departments. posts ana
indy duais throughout the country
should continue to Impress upon their
senators and congressman that the bill
should be passed before adjournment
and the question OF money raising not
he permitted to obstruct the real Is
sue"
The Colorado statesman., 1920-06-05
LIVES IN MEMORY
New Yorker Recalls Delightful
Evening With Twain.
Satisfied That He Saw Great Humor-
list at His Best When He Sat by
the Flreside and Smoked
With Him.

II is only about forty years since
spent n most delightful evening with
Mr. and Mrs. Clemens ut their newly
built home In Hartford. yet the Sun
and New York Herald refers to the
house as zone OF the oldest residences
In New England from the point OF
construction" says the writer OF
letter to that newspaper.
Undoubtedly your reporter wrote
that II was zone OF the oldest" and
he was right. The types were guilty
of a characteristic prank.
We sat In front of n goodly old
fashioned fireplace and smoked such
tobacco as Mark liked-that is, he and
| dld-in the lOng-stemmed clay pipes
they call churchwardens. while Mrs
Clemens looked on with smiling toler-
alton, contributing the gracious charm
OF her presence to the entertainment
he was giving to a casual guest VINO
had scant claim to the hospitality ne
was enjoying. had called as strang-
er on professional business and hau
been received socially.
Clemens was at his best-and let me
say that best was never bettered by
anyone else. His monologue OF mar
rative and epIgrams was drawled out
through long evening, as l langheu
and Mrs. Clemens smiled, and Mark
busted himself cleaning. burning out
and filing pipe after pipe-there were
dozen of them standing in the cor
ners of the fireplace-and handing
them TO me or lighting one for himseh
as fast or even faster than they were
needed. There were two of them alight
ull the time.
wish could remember what he
said. but / can recall only one remark,
and that was too trivial TO repeat
though ! laughed at It as heartily as
did at all the other nonsense. IL
was not what he said so much as the
way he said it.
p. 7. Barnum, the great Snowman,
told me that he. too, kept on laughing
all the time Mark Twain talked 10
him. But my wife doesn't" he said.
Mrs. Barnum has not very Keen
sense of humor and she is little
afraid of laughing at the wrong time
so she sometimes seems unappreci-
ltlVe Wneu AldTh ~ LuhhS ~"
for him.
"She has found out for herself,
though. a pretty good rule to go by
he continued. "You see, she and IRE
auently visit with Mr.. and Mrs. Glenn
ems, and / noticed after while that
she was always watching Mrs. Glenn
ems. so | asked her why she did ii,
and she told me that IL was because
Mrs. Clemens did not always laugh as
other people did when Mark spoke.
But when she laughs said Mrs. Bar
mum, Il know 1t must be really funny.
so I laugh, too.
81 call that pretty shrewd," contin'
ued the old Snowman with one OF his
own hearty ha-has. land took TO
doing the same thing myself. 1t work
ed well, must say, for l noticed after
a while that Mrs. Clemens never laugh
ed excepting at the very best of Marks
Jokes. I suppose she must have got
tired laughing all the time before
that"
knew the great man for a long
time after that wonderful evening, but
I never felt that | knew him any bet
ter.
The Colorado statesman., 1920-06-05
Tuo Posts Combine.

Two posts of the American Legio'
oroanized I'm Galveston, Tex. combined
their membership and the organization
Is now known as Argonne post No. ="
The post has its own clubroons VIII
n library. billiard room and bathrooms
The Colorado statesman., 1920-06-05

pensatlon plan TO
divert attention
from the main is
sue by embroiling
congress in n dis
pute over differ
ent revenue-pro-
ducing schemes,
playing OF advo-
Gates of various
plans against one
another, are ex-
posed by Frank
lin D'Olier, ma
tional commander
of the legion, in a
The Colorado statesman., 1920-06-05
Mad. Vacation Profitable.

A unique vacation was that OF Dr..
william Goodwin, superintendent OF
the general hospital at Staten Island,
who camped for one month in the
maple orchard of Frank baylor OF
HarwintOn, Conn. He combined busi-
ness with pleasure. worked nights as
well as days and made seventy-six
gallons of maple sirup.
The Colorado statesman., 1920-06-05
Sure Was Embarrassed.

"I suppose you were very frightened
once or twice in France?"
"Naw. Once. though, was surf
embarrassed. was just going into
an estaminet. Had my hand on the
door-knob, when along comes Boche
seyenty-seyen. knocks the whole
blamed shanty into kingdom come and
leaves me there with the door-kroh
In NV hand. I sure felt foolish"
The Colorado statesman., 1920-06-05
Scripturai Quotation.

When you say you have escaped by
the skin of your teeth, do you know
you are quoting Scripture? Look In
the twentieth verse of the nineteenth
chapter of Job and you will find the
line: my bone cleaveth to my skin
and my flesh, and l am escaped with
the skin of my teeth"
The Colorado statesman., 1920-06-05
To Duplicate Baby.

One day while out walking met
little Grace, the daughter of n dress
maker, wheeling her little brother.
After kissing the baby l asked Grace
If could keep 1t. "Oh. no." she
answered. "but mother would lend you
a paper pattern for one like him
Illustrated News
The Colorado statesman., 1920-06-05
Never Alone.

The man who lives under an hahitu"'
sense of the divine presence keeps ur
perpetual cheerfulness OF temper.
and enjoys every moment the satisfac-
tyon OF thinking himself In company
with his ;:5a1est and best OF tr'ehnS-
The time never lies heavy upon nun
II Is impossible for him to be alone
Jos-ph Addison.
The Colorado statesman., 1920-06-05
SeIf-Ey Evident.

Pneurich-'I wasn't born with a
silver spoon in my mouth" Wig
wag-"No. I notice you eat with youi
knife"
The Colorado statesman., 1920-06-05
DISCUSSES FoURFOLD PLAN
National Commander D'oIier Advises
That Prompt Action Is Necessary
to Get Results.

Attempts Of opponents OF the Amerl-
can Legion's fourfold optional com
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-06-10
MERIT ALONE CAN WIN

The first days proceedings in the Republic
can National Convention at Chicago makes it in
creasngly evident that abandonment has to
the erroneous belief than any political party can
win the coming election merely through party soli-
darity and party tradition The analysis by
national authority from which conclusion was
reached that neither the prestige of party of
candidate give the assurance of satisfaction
unless both guarantee that in moments of crisis
the bane of all political parties parsanship,
will be avoided, is borne out by developments at
Chicago.
These peculiar and arduous times demand direct
and straightforward leadership. the kind that is
brought to mind by Grover CIeveland's administra-
ton of both party and public affairs The candidate
should be more than reflection of current herd
opinion, which, upon destructive analysis, will be
found to be only crystazaon of crude, sordid and
local ambitions and parochial selfish desires. There
is needed at Washington courage to stand up
against predatory capital whether raiding through
dishonest tariff schedules Stock Exchange manipu-
lstions and meet with stern array the rebellion of
predatory labor engaged in civil to gain it's
ends. In the sturdy style this firmness will
meet a Nicaragua situation and bid world empire
stand at a distance.
The coming election will likely be won in the
Committee on Resolutions of the other two
great parties. If this body makes that the
partys principles sound and its patriotism I'M
wavering it is real it will be doing only the ex
pected This cannot be done by making the objec-
tive the political destruction any individual or
administration. 1t will gain only when it has dem
onstrated that the party is going forward meet
new public questions with open mind, human sym
pathy and determination to equal and
exact justice every individual resident in the
United States. This demands candidate represen-
tative of no class or interest, ready to die
if need be for the ideal that Washington so finely
represented Without such candidate as clevery
described the lofty platform would be merely an
Aladin's palace dissolve at the word of the genie
the day succeeding the election
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-06-10
The Power of Wheat
Cincinnati Enquirer


The world leans wheat The Government re-
CARDS with apprehension the plan for a reduced
reage in this country. 1t has issued urgent ap-
peal to the farmers to revise their plan and increase
the acreage much possible. The world demand
fol wheat continues 1t is pointed that the
NAL requirements for consumption and export
about 00,000 600 bushels Only 4S3, 600 bushels
indicated from the winter wheat this year 1t is
pointed out that expect wheat from Aus
traa, and that it is improbable for many reasons
that there will be movement of the Russian export
crop.
Increased production here, coupled with that of
Argentina, would tighten the heart of the world and
relieve the minds of statesmen in all lands 1t is
estimated that the Argentina crop will be 16 per
cent more than in 191S-1919, and AZ per cent over
the average yield from 1913-1914 to 1917-191S.
Crop conditions reported to be favorable in
Belgium, France, Great Britain Ireland and India
But only average conditions prevail in Japan, Spain
ltaly, Algeria, Tuns and Morocco.
The world desperately needs good crops this year
cost of living Wheat is the worlds most important
crop. 1t would be short sighted policy American
farmers to reduce this They cite
weather conditions and shortage of farm labor but
the Department of Agriculture points the poor
condition of the winter crop and urges every effort
toward increased production. Production here and
abroad continuously must be increased entire ma
lions must suffer and even this country stagger
on under an ever-growing burden of higher prices.
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-06-10

terce in the matter is the more reprehensible Ig-
norance might offer excuse a poor it is true
for his policy, but knowledge would make it almost
crime. Alaskans weddings, physically
mentally or morally. Put them down in any COM
nunity anywhere in the States and they class high
as American citizens better in fact than of the
specimens of eastern" influence which occasionally
intest Alaska. Alaskans have proven themselves
liable of managing their affairs; engaged in
carving out homes in the last frontier country
surrounded by conditions peculiar to the land they
winning 10 civilization, they merely ask for and
are surely entitled to have big voice in determining
how those conditions be with justice
themselves well to the other hundred million
Americans who best but interested vicariously
All the North wants is break The reluc-
lance of DR.. Hornaday and his kind to give this
sufficient for that resentment which he says
Will follow granting of full statehood Alaska;
that resentment which is found in all parts of Alas
ka against him and his organization and which the
granting of statehood could not increase but might
give an opportunity for fuller and more adequate
means of expression
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-06-10
Between the MillstOnes
Cincinnati Enquirer. J

Merchandising business has been caught between
The millstOnes of high production costs and the
ailment of retail buying resulting from the crusade
of consumers to force lowering prices. Wholesale
and retail merchants stand between these forces
their vision future clouded by the uncertain
ties created by these two movements which point in
Numerically opposite directions
Cotton and wool, the two materials that
ter most largely into the goods with which the
people clothed, continue at high price. The
world demand is abnormally heavy This years
cotton crop does not promise large either in acreage
yield, because of adverse planting conditions and
unfavorable weather to this time. Trade reports
indicate also that there may be shortage of wool
to meet the world requirements Accompanying this
the demands of labor for still higher with
the resultant curtailment of production through
strikes the closing of mills because of scar
city of materials produced by the country wide
interruption of transportation. All this tends to
higher production costs to manufacturers which
usually are carried to the wholesaler, the re-
taller and the consumer maintain profits.
Combating this is the spread of the economy wave,
which started by consumers in rebellion against
these steadily rising prices and which has developed
such force that it is being felt by the distrbutve
trade. 1t is instruction of the common people,
once thought to be helpless against the initiation
tendency of the times, and it is accommodating
mentum surprising in its extent and effect, in view
OF the complexity with which that hard-pressed
ton has been wont to accept whatever handed
to it, More old clothes being than
before in the history of this wealth country
Fewer luxuries are being purchased and even neces-
stiles less literally. The of extravaganza still
abnormal in volume, is subsiding gradually, and the
popular demand for lower prices is becoming
Vociferous
There Indicate all hands that it is
to be endurance test, with the victory to the
people, it usually is when they unite for a set
purpose. Until it is ended the middemen forced
contending against the higher prices the manufacture
ers will seek to enforce to compensate themselves
prices the consuming public demands. 1t is not an
onviable position.
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-06-10
RESENTMENT HERE ALREADY

IF newspaper reports are true they usually
are. then it is fact that some of the people of
Alaska strongly the Territorial status of that
province and demand full statehood AS night fol-
lows day, this insures resentment of eastern" in
fluenee in the utilization of the wild game Alas
ka From Governor Riggs downward that feeling
exists and persists particularly from Valdez north
ward tEXtraet from Bulletin No. of the Perma-
ncnt Wild Life Protection Fund, subheaded "A New
Game Act for Alaska for the Better Protection and
More Rational Utilization of Alaskas Game Animals
b. William T. Hornaday, etc. eteD
1t is not The Empires intention at this time to
discuss desires for full statehood" full Territorial
government would be vast step toward freedom
from certain self-appointed saviors of Alaska The
fact that DR.. Hornaday and his tyc important
factors in holding up real Territorial government
merely adds to existing resentment which is none
the less real and deep because it is futile Its very
futility but adds to its intensity .
The organization for which Hornaday speaks is
and has been for time formulating plans for the
enactment of Alaskan game law including
therein such restrictions he deems best for the
interests of eastern" influence AMI with little if
any regard for the rights and privileges Alaska
in the determination thereof
DR. Hornaday's premise is that Aaskans are not
capable of realizing conditions existing their midst
nor of framing legislation them in so far
as it deals with game animals The lapse of time
and changed conditions" he writes, lin Alaska now
render 1t the bounden duty of the American people
and their Congress to consider and act anew upon
the business OF practical conservation in that
Territory Not only does he the role as
mentor TO Alaskans but he seems to hold a com
mission. either sacred profane probably the lat
ter. to speak I'm the of the American people
he admits that there is resentment in the Territory
from the Chief Executive down but does seek
the cause nor allow il TO weaken his determination
to work his will. regardless protests If Alaska
objects TO his dictum she is wrong Only Hornaday
is nfallible lie admits it, he doesn't have to prove
it,
He speaks of changed conditions" in Alaska
when his knowledge of any Alaskan conditions
whether changed otherwise is at best but second
hand derived from sources of questionable authentic
ny. Or If he knows the real conditions his persis-
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-06-10
Luke McLuke Says

The reason why a man imagines
ne needs rest is because he really
needs more exercise.
Ihere are lot of homes in which
the VIE shows lot more Fear and
Respect for the Cook than she does
for her Husband
some women seem to regard life as
a perpetual Indignation meeting.
Another reason for the scarcity of
white paper is that lawyer used up
LOO words to say something whoch
could be said in ten words.
When girl leaves a fellow she
always looks back to see if she can
catch him looking back to see if she
is looking back
A fenpecked husband has to give
in to his wife right away. But a
bossy husband doesn't have to give in
for an hour or two.
A Pennsylvania girl has married
her brothers wife's father. She is
now related to herself in some old
way, but we haven't time to figure
it out
Don't you like to hear a million
are lecturing other people on the
Blessings of Poverty? Neither do we
brother!
No husband wants his wife tC
know as much about him as he
knows about himself.
II the girl has the kind of leg,
that goes with the bathing suit she
doesn't mind having to pay 81 fol
pair of silk stockings.
Cheer up! If you can't make &
TOOL of yourself, you can always fine
some woman to do it for you.
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-06-10
GLYCERINE MIXTURE
FOR GAS ON STOMACH

Simple glycerine, buckthorn bark.
to- as mixed in Adler-i-ka, relieves
ANY CASE gas on stomach or sour
stomach. 1t acts on both upper
ma lower bowel and removes all
toul matter which poisoned stomach.
OFTEN CURES constipation. Pre-
vents appendicitis The INSTANT
pleasant action of Adler-i-ka sur
prises both doctors and patients.
one man who suffered five years
was helped by ONE dose. Butler
Mauro & Co.. Druggists
- advertisement.
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-06-10
Hooray!

T. E. B. slips us a little information
on how to make 40 gallons of Home
Brew. Follow directions closely:
Capture a wild bullfrog and pen
him up for three days and feed him
on hair springs. Turn him loose and
chase him three miles. Then go
back on the same route taken by
the frog and gather up the hops.
To the hops add 10 pounds of tan
bark, three pounds of glue, one bar Of
soap and one pint of shellac. Boil
for 36 hours and then strain through
an old sock
~ B.-This does NOT conflict
with the Volstead act
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-06-10

Bert Baker claims the Oldest joke
IS the one about the Georgia cracker
who let his hogs sleep in a one room
cabin that was also used for his fam
lily A visiting preacher advised
against the hogs Sleeping in the
room with the children. Don't you
ina II unhealthy having these hogs
sleep with your" asked the preacher
"Onhealthy?' demanded the cracker
why them hogs has been sleeping
IN this cabin for years, ana I amt
never lost hog!',
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-06-10

Willie-Paw, trust and a mon
opoly are the same thing. aren't they
Paw-No my son. A wife will in
sist on monopolizing her husband
even when she doesn't trust him.
Maw-Willie you put your books
away and go to bed.
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-06-10
Alta Boy!

Cut out the knocking and do a
little singing. But what we started
to tell you was that b. A. Bird lives
in Hagerstown, Ind.
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-06-10
Another DamIi

Once upon time there was a man
who forgot you owed him money
But as Luke McLuke says, all fairy
stories begin with "once upon a
time"
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-06-10
M can Brute!

"Td give a thousand dollars to be
man." snapped Mrs. Gabb
'And I'd give ten thousand more
to see you get your WISH" growled
Mr.. Gabb
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-06-10
BITS OF BY PLAY
By Luke McLuke
=
Copyright by Cincinnati
Enquirer
Fooey!

"There is more strength in eggs
than there is in meat" remarked the
Shabby Looking man who sat at d
table in the Greasy Spoon Restau
rant.
yes" agreed the man who sat
across the table These are strong
enough to walk"
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-06-10

Sugar slaves off seniy.' says the Cincinnati
Enquirer. Then why not give poor, overworked
United States Senate a bonus-and pay it in sugar?
New Orleans Times PcayuneD
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-06-10

Probably that IS 600 hat turned down by Nine
Deschanel will be snapped up by hod carriers
wife If it is placed the open market Macon
Telegraph
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-06-10

You never tell Many a man who boasts
that he holds the key to the situation can't land
job.
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-06-10
QUAKER QUIPS

philadelphia Recordl
or course it's all right to pick your company but
some people mighty lean picking.
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-06-10

The fellow who looks gift horse in the mouth
would handle a hornet at the other end
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-06-10

lnasmuch love is blind, II is PERTAINS natural
ina. people who are stuck ON themselves can't see
their faults.
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-06-10

Neer & Farr are doing business in
Portland, Oregon.
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-06-10

1t used to be easy enough for a fellow to screw
ur his courage, but nowadays the corkscrew is obso
cte
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-06-10

The shadow of suspicion may rest even upon
those who bask in the shade of the family tree
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-06-10

An optimist is any man imbued with the idea tina
the best years of his life are ahead of him