River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1920-03-25
QUEER LITTLE zap.
Odd Customs on Small Island,
Now American.
Peculiar Currency. System Would
Seem to Have Some Disadvantages
Religious Rites Observed by
Parties of Fishermen.

The island of zap isn't such zap
place. after all.
Returned travellers from the South
seas give Illuminating details of life
on the queer little island which even
President Wilson hadn't heard of I'M
til the Paris conference decided that
America ought to get something out
of the war-and generously gave us
zap.
If Americas would-be cars should
adopt the well-known Russian plan of
using zap as "Siberia"-as suggest
ed the other day by senator, who got
big laugh for his idea-here are
some strongly American customs with
Malayan twist that deported persons
would find in operation there:
Money as big as cartwheels mot
only" but considerably bigger-huge
stone dollars from two to twelve feet
across!
Bachelors club houses occupied by
the entire male population on certain
occasions, women being entirely ex-
cluded.
A social order, consisting of four
castes-magicians, impoverished aris-
tocrats, rich men and the populace.
A religion that includes god, LUX,
who protects thieves and swindlers.
A language that would delight a
diplomat or blushing maiden. hav-
ing nearly 40 different ways of say
ing mo-"
The two great products of zap are
cocOnuts and typhoons. The typhoons
save the natives the trouble of pick
ing the coconuts. 1t is precisely in
that quarter of the Pacific that the
worst storms on earth are born, and
from July to December the weather
would delight Professor Porta.
Gold or silver money has no more
value in zap than bolshevik rubles
have here. The Yaps have such faith
in human nature that they have de-
vised coin nobody can lift. A small
coin is disk of granite two feet
across and six inches thick, with
hole in the middle.
A large coin is two fathoms across
and two feet thick. Rich people in
zap simply pile their money in the
front yard or lean it against the side
of the house, which saves them the
trouble of showing off by elaborate
dress or other indirect methods. 1t
also gives full publicity to all cash
transactions.
For "chicken feed" they use large
pairs Of oyster shells and hundred
pound sacks of copra. To pass the
plate" in a zap church you have to
use a moving van.
Americans who oppose foreign en-
tanglements may take comfort from
the fact that the word "Yap" originally
meant foreigner" The early Yaps
were great traders and voyagers
around the South seas. In other
words, foreigners are Yaps-the same
old story.
Today the Yaps fish religiously. Be-
fore every fishing party the men are
obliged to leave their wives and spend
four days in the club houses, which
are large stone mansions.
After the first successful catch, the
men come ashore and everybody takes
a pull at the fermented juice of the
green coconut. This is dubbed re-
ligious rite, and the women have to
keep quiet about it or get cussed by
the gods-an idea which should inter-
est Americans who are still fond Of
little fishing parties.
When a zap gentleman wishes to
steal he prays to LUX. LUX keeps
other people from looking. II the
thief gets caught anyhow, he simply
decides that LUX must have been too
busy to hear his prayer, and hopes for
better LUX next time.
For the rest of it, zap is 80 miles
long and five broad, surrounded by a
coral reef, has hills 1000 feet high,
runs out of water whenever 1t fails to
rain for a week, has five smaller is
lands near it, grows yams and trop-
ical fruits, but not rice, and contains
some 10000 natives of the Malay race,
whose language, curiously enough,
shows basic relation to Sanskrit.
And it's ours, every bit of it.