The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1920-12-24
nRRY CHRIs1MAsu

Twas tAs night before Christmas-now doat
get excited
Or pssvsd q disgruntled 1t what I've 70 say;
Though made bum start You need not b
affrighted-
I'm mot paraphrasing the old Christmas lay.
IT'S the night before Christmas. ought to
have stated;
made slight error, freely admit:
But In spite Of the blunder I'm somewhat
elated-
They help I'LL the colyum. these lines have
writ
IT'S the night before Christmas. There, that
is more like it.
now may give voice to the thinklets I've
thunk:
Now ! drag out my Tyre and with vigor I strike
Good heavens! It certainly sounds very
'Tis the night before Christmas; that must be
It struck such horrld, cacoptanous note.
Tis the night before Christmas! Well. Though
The glorious Yuletide has grabbed on my
| goat!
But hope for your sakes that the weather is
snappy;
I'll wish lii you like it, for coolies Of snow.
I'm a good-hearted cuss, and l hope you'll be
happy
Tonight when you hang your holeproofs in
| row;
When you open your eyes to the dawn OF To-
morrow
l hone that no shadows of gloom round you
| Turk,
But, my friends, I'm a pessimist, snothered in
sorrow,
For-tef thousand curses!-I must come to
work!
1
| IN the course of a sermon Rev. Jenkins Of
Evansville, Ind, sets forth that the law OF
God SAYS an eye for an eye a tooth for a
tooth an arm for an arm, and a leg for leg. :"
But why stop there? Why not add "a toe for
| toe an ear for an ear. thumb for thumb. :"
etc Someone should hunt up thetoriginal man
uscript and submit it to Rev. jenkins for
revision.
| The Proofreader Should Have Given
| This the Double o.
(From The Argus).
When asked what was to be tabooed.
Dodson said Everyone is to have a god
time and let his lperhaps her) conscience
be his iii need be 'her) guide"
AN ODE TO 4. E. MIG.
@ Tombstone-well chosen name!
1t hts you truly-very!
Your smile is weak; your humor lame.
Tombstone! BAH a cemetery!
| THE SANTA CLAUS LADIES'.
FIRST AID FROM MACAULAY.
Sir: In his "B0swell's johnson" Macaulay,
Iemptying the walls Of his ridicule on gram
NAUTICAL sinner, has this passage to illustrate
his criticism: Lastly We have a plentiful sup
ply Of sentences resembling this which we sub
Join: MARYLAND. who, with Jortin and Thirdly,
johnson calls three contemporaries OF great
ieminence'" You might add this to our
j"Whom's Whom" collection e VS..
ONE Margaret Dean writes at some length
in the Evansville Courier Of the poetic works
Of Marie Tudor Garland, mother OF the young
man who refused q million dollar legacy. She
concludes: >. And finally there is the fol-
lowing bitter quatrain, addressed to Man:
MAN, loving beauty, woos
To overtake and seize;
| Then, for q moment's-ease
Stays the thing he pursues."
II that is quatrain, then we're goldfish.
OUR Christmas will be more cheerful fol-
knowing that Clara Smith is to be allowed to
eat hers at home. B L. T.
At times even a colyum conductor should
say what he means
| SPEAKING Of Clara's return, listen to
Prosecutor Russell Brown OF Ardmore as quot
ed by the United Press: This is nv happiest
hour since first heard that Hamon had beer
shot"
HAVING already darned Christmas we'll e
home and darn our socks. M. C.!!!!!
! e. MIG