The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1920-01-01
N.kA SENDS NEW
YEAR GREETINGS

lMiks Is well known orchardist
who suends the Cold season annually IN
California tie might have been an
Ar eHus Ward had he not planted
So .tZeHIurg and NeWtown trees. Yet
20 wing apples hasn't robbed him of
all humori.
long Beach. Dee. -. 1878.
Editor Glacier December II was
notable in Hood River at least for two
-hlaEs. Ii was the coolest dav on
record. and the writer left for Califor-
ma. We bad shipped cur car few
javs previous by boat from Portland
ro San Francisco. the freight being
Sll3 per 100 pounds. intending to
motor down from there. We found
plenty of snow until We got well over
the California line. At Ashland. where
he train stops for 20 to so minutes.
enabling the passengers to 20 out for
exercise or meal, We found the min
eTal spring frozen over. Two men
win picks We're breaking the ice.
su pose 70 see If they We're added or
lulble yoiked
am not Dragging about our winter
weather down here. as Californians
already know their sunshine is tangi-
Die asset and are charging l00 per cent
more this year for the privilege of
tbsorblng some 0f it.
he trip on the train was without
Incident save the Deculiarlties. unips
and quirks Of the passengers. which in
some cases would have been comical
were they not so serious. For instance,
the old fellow across the aisle without
apparent cause, kept grabbing at his
wife. Had he lndulged too freely in
suarleyow bitters, or had he been dis
appointed in the angel of his dreams.
n the frost of adversity blighted
Hopes fair flower. causing his better
qualities TO 'sour on the cob"
The snow laden objects glide by like
colored streaks painted on the land.
Scape. It's beautiful but becomes
monotonous. SO | 20 into the smoking
compartment where lovers of the weed
WOO Lady Nicotine, swap yarns and
Naft wreaths of blue glory upward
and incidentally hang a few ringers on
the hat racks. 1t intoXicates the
imagination and in anticipation am
under the blue skies of southern Cali
tolnla, trescoed with wreaths and
winged doughnuts. Is it fact that
the lnYetel ate smoker Eas his suction
nose lined with asbestos lest he burn
out fuse and let his lights go out?
stay here until my meat is smoked
to a mild cure and when | begin to
float hook my thumb back in my sus.
penders and skull myself out in the
aisle. but find it difficult to 90 far in
any given direction without compass
or guide. owing to the swaying motion
of the train. But by doing a knock.
kneed turkey trot and feinting and
grabbing at the passengers | finally
reach old No l3 and sit down, more
emphatic than graceful, where read
the happy hours away and lose myself
m What is Home Without d Mother
lu-laW and other classics.
Day is done and we soon will sink to
rest. The porter already is putting
down the shelves and spanking the
pillows. Fade away and give him
room. AT last our tlowery beds of
ease are ready. | draw the curtain
and pass behind the scenes. If am
a contoftionist | will disrobe. Some
fisherman before me mas forgotten his
net for it hangs on the wall | will
use It for my apparel.
Now for slumber and sweet dreams.
But alas, old snarlevow has beaten me
to It, and IS ripping the curtains of
night into shreds He is founderlng
In the bogs of snoreland; his foghorn
iS not IN tune with time or eternity
He evidently has mired above his chin.
for be blows like porpoise and seems
to be having a hard time to keep his
splutter tank ahoat What right has
this spouting wind geyser and bubble
buster to snort corrugated horror at us.
who never did him harm? There is /
law against disturbing the peace,
nuisance can be abated. Oh, it makes
my temper rise like teapot. Where
are those famous surgeons that put a
muller on the bray of the mule?
Could they be as successful with |
lackass3 o delight to be first assis.
tant. I'd inocuste him with "pin in !
the seatus, put him under the intlu /
erce of my bunch of fyes. take
wrench unscrew his meddlesome mem
Der. adjust his vibrator and pad his
aute pipe with silk, so that if it is
absolutely necessary for him to snore
he at least could treat us with consid I
GRAFTON and put on the soft pedal and
make concord of sweet sounds. "
Hello. here's Oakland. Change ears
for all points. Mika Tillicum.