Norwich bulletin., 1920-08-11

''whatever you do" said the sprightly elderly lady to her young niece, whom she was coaching in methods warranted to gain popularity, "be careful about your conversation. For instance, when you go to the dentist, don't talk to him about teeth; particularly your own teeth. He may sit next you at your next dinner party and you don't want him to shudder and shake in painful recollection of the fifteen minutes he spent trying to show you out in order to let in the following patient while you insisted on relating to him your discov- cries, thoughts and ambitious in regard to your set of molars.
 "If there is anything he isn't interested l in, is tired to death of it's teeth. Ask him if heslikes Airedales or doesn't he think it awful the way dress goods do l not wear these days, if you feel the urge for talk coming on. It always does come when ones mouth is full of cotton wads and steel crochet hooks and things. And don't start in with your hand some young lawyer friend by saying that you're just dying to hear him try case in court and when can you come down? You ought to know better about the law of averages than that-because while he may have won his last ten cases with flags flying, just so surely as he lets you in to see him prance up and down like a pouter pigeon and reduce by the flow of his eloquence the judge and jury to ad- miring pulp, that will be the time when he'll get all balled up on technicalities and the judge will fay him and the op- ponents jeer at him and everybody will laugh-and you sitting there!
 "Why, he won+ be able to bear the ~0 Ja3n to forget that you and that special law suit ever existed My dearest friend some years ago was on the point of be- coming engaged to promising young lawyer and she did that very thing.
 Vt happened to be the one time when he got stage fright and could get no fur ther than Your honor and gent and the murderer on trial said he'd be will ing, to call it quits and hang instead of watching him struggle. So he married man who conducts an orchestra be- cause he didn't have to talk at all in carrying on his business.
 'T knew a girl once who was very much interested in young man in the stock and bond business and she thought she'd make a large hit by saying she was so interested in stocks and things an dplease wouldn't he tell her about them? He had been adding up thousands of figures that day, every one of which ended in different fractions, and he had slammed down his desk cover viciously with the resolve to go out and hoe potatoes for a living the rest of his life.
 -AFhe, mere thought of stocks gave him that sinking feeling. Why should a girl as pretty as this one like stocks and bonds? Heavens-think of having a wife who would greet, one feverisfly with demands to know all about the market and who could read a ticker tape! And he had once thought she was really rather fascinating and attrac- tiyei Besides, what was there to tell her about stocks except that they went up and down? And who cared after such day as he had spent? So he said to her that somebody seemed to be beckon- ing to him out in the hall and he got away and spent the rest of his time with a silly little wise thing, with eye- iashes and a giggie, and he felt that at last he had found real womanly wo- man!
 And if you are at a cafe dinner or supper don't, for the life of you, inter twine your fingers, elbows on table, and, resting your girlish chin upon your hands, gaze deeply into the unfortunate mans eyes and tell him that you under stand him perfectly. No man wants to be understood perfectly-it gives him the horrors to think of it. He may want you to admire him with awe and wonder and mystification. but if there is ,nyfhino he diSlikeS eYtren1e1v if ia fn