Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1920-05-10
BY KIRK MILLER,

FotI WORTH. Tex, May tt ne
fighting journalists, A. T.. f.. an or
sanzation which wor. its swaddling
clothes in France, are the guests for
two weeks in the oil fields of Texas
These scuftiing newspaper men saw
FRANCE through gas mask. ard by
way of diversion are witnessing
Texas through wind shield. For a
week they have been leaping from
one chamber of commerce to another
until they are as dizzy as circus
carousel, and it looks as though Texas
wins the pewter lining that used to
be silver for being the land of mag
nificent distances.
Every oil town of west Texas Will
have been host to the galloping jour
nalists before the jaunt cur!s up. and
if the banquets don't give out, Texas
is going to be elected one of the
best quartermaster departments that
never was in the United States Army.
In every outburst~of eats. of which
there has been quite an epidemic. the
local chambers of commerce have
been the fairy godmother. father sis
ter. brother as well as mother-in-
newspaper man to admit. BY the
c. of C. all of the local pride is dis
tributed in facts and figures which
sound very romantic, especially wnen
they are served between courses of
imprisoned olives and gopher chow
mein.
Include Everything First Time.
Back east the chambers of COM
merce have a nimble way of escort
ing the migrants through all of the
fascinating parts of the cities and
leaving the visitors to discover the
slums for themselves. Here in cute
little Texas they show you the whole
works on the first tour of the city.
ard haven't anything to hang their
heads for when the tickets are col
lected at the last tollgate.
Oil derricks and rigs stick up out of
the domestic landscape as thick as
asparagus in the asparagus archipel-
ago. This section of the universal
pumpkin sure is dimpled with artesian
oil fountains The local base ball field
is one grand tiotilla of holes. The
newspaper men have pulled in their
heads to let shrapnel fly past before.
but down here they have to wear Cos
samerS to keep out of the flying Oil.
Ladies daren't step out for an after
noon promenade without their para
soils. lest leaping cloudburst of oil
break loose and ruin their tricolette
bungalow gowns.
The oil boom is loose. but there are
two kinds of booms. When the oil
zowie occurs, it either booms your
pockets full of money or it booms
what money you had farther than
William Hohenzollern is from the
presidential nomination. 1t is the con-
sensuS of newspaper mems opinion
that the kaiser didn't want to eat
Christmas dinner in Paris nearly SO
much as he wanted to be the next re-
publican nominee on the democratic
ticket. That boy never figured on los
ing anything. and as matter of fact
all he lost was the war.
Texas folks have become so tinan-
cially fat that they talk in figures
of six syllables only. They spend
money down here as Congress appro-
priated it in times of war. Anybody
worth less than half a million checks
is under suspicion. Their CONVERSE
ton is conducted strictly upon 5000
barrel day basis. Any talk less than
that is purest wildcat.
Police Department on Hand.
In Dallas. when the leaping Journal
lists smirked in. the Board of Trade,
Rotary Club, {. of {. and police depart
ment met them in Lmousnes and white
duck fiannels and escorted them through
the current acoustics. All of the big
buildings were moved back out of the
sidewalks to give the tourists plenty of
room to manipulate their stylish ell
bows. The local steam whistles played
every tune from the Chimes of Nor
to La Crude Petroleum" Other
selections were the sextette from "Des-
the ''Caddo Glide, "Brecken-
ridge Blues and the Granger Gallop."
from LES st. Vitus Parchesa." So far
the newspaper boys have displayed rare
acumen at meal times and at listening
to beautiful statistics on the growth of
the cactus industry as compared TO the
oil game.
Also as to the matter of rollicking
chess, the fighting, writing, eating,
drinking. sleeping, journalists seem to
compare well with Texas authorities on
the pastimc A full audit has not been
taken, but from preliminary reports the
guys will take more money
out of Texas by the African golf route
than the circus did out of Washington.
The boys had to do something to get
Pullman fare home, as the rates were
hyped up by the l. c. c. just after the
cyclone hit Texas.
Jake Hamon. who owns a railroad, a
refinery, six grain elevators and eleven
gasoline geysers, was toastmaster at the
town of which he is chief of police. may
or, warden and sexton. He slipped the
syrating journalists the keys to the city
because. he said, he'd met newspaper
men before and knew if they didn't get
the keys that they'd pick the locks any
way.
Itinerary Of AmbulatiOnx.
The itinerary reads like the post Office
guide book. Some of the places in
ficted with the rambling scribblers
were the hottest places ever put on an
asbestos map. The principal towns anc
events were:
M 1oc -TopE off &c