davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-07-20
IF CouIn.

rI COULD. ~
I'd chant q eoul-tl8pirin4 lynn
For Poland and Esthonis..
The Ukraine, JuCo-SiGvta.
Slovakia and Lfyonia:
I'd praise them ar q rd tout Them
II knew more ab out fhern.
pRuDDs WE nyovr-1L
Another is Patricia Sls.v,
Whose prudery is most distressing;
Each salad that ihe eslts must have
A Russian or q Rouuefort dressing.
MOTHER zoo LYRIC.
The herons In their nlarslly clinne
Discretion always u,e.
They stand on on, leg at q time
To save their pants and shoes.
Japan has aslked American enRin-
ears tn build subway In Tokio-of
the New York. variety. Ju3t when
prospects for better relations be-
tween Nippon ard the q. g. were
Frightening!
CHEER UP F'OME.
When you get old and weak and bald
You may be fairly sure
Your barber will not offer you
His latest dandr ruff cure.
Edna says tina: judging merely
from the number Of left-overs In her
own set she thinks the .ncrea1e in
the census figures l., perfectly re-
markable.
49,
II all the 100 per cent Americans
they shout about In politics were
even ss.4l per cent pure the Indian
reservations Of the United states
would be compile tely tdsnpded.
We'd like to make wlhse1e about
the bootlegger Being the modern
free booter, but we cAn'r make the
syllable sound natural
The cables rey ort thst Z bomb ex-
ploded In q SpInhh Newspaper Of
nee. but exhaust ed its force on sew
,eral rolls of newsprlnt paper, thus
preventing serious damage. Whod-
dyuhmean prevented serious dam
age"f
Now that It has become precedent
for candidates K, talk their campaign
oratory into Photographs. they can
speak ,cannedidy.
In these days Of rapid soarings,
It's amazing how slowly political en-
thusiain rises.
BITTEF. THoUCtHT.
A creditor. an evil name.
A lusty summer cold
These. II contra cted in your youth.
Abide til you ire old.
Every man may have Ills price. but
the cost Of living has driven ours up
so far that we've given up all hope OF
ever being tempted sufficiently to
yield.
These are thu days when AmeS1ca.
hopping her brow, realizes that she
certainly IL the worlds raelting pot.
-F. F. v.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-07-20
The Windmill
HATE HYMNS.

The Drygoods Merchants.
The truth and justicn scoring
Eternally they sq,tall
You better buy this morning.
They'll be higher IN the fall.S
The Express Man.
II had twice my present power
And seven times ray spunl..
I'd use your head for half an hour
The way you used my trunk.
The Butcher.
II hearts were twenty bucks q pound
Permit me sir, to say
You'd get a dime, it would be found
For what your own would weigh.
We heartily endorse this al,itation
against prohibition, md urge its con-
tinuance, not that we want the wet
days back again, but as long az the
reformers are fighting about that.
they can't be plotting against our to-
bacco.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-07-20
NAMES.

NAMES.
1nfancy-BIessums.
Boyhood-Bub.
Youth-Buddy.
College-Butch.
Business-Our MI. Blapp.
Honeymoon-Snot'k
Political possibility--G uhum's fav.
orite son.
Political probability-That boob.
Political candidat e-That idiot.
Political Office h olderN-Tllat dirty
CRATER.
Ffnale-The dear departed.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-07-20
instead Of getting more out Of life.

instead Of getting more out Of life.
It Is time to stop now and take q
square look at ourselves. It is time
to spend some Of our money In rails
ing our standard OF living on the
farm. II Is time to make farm life
easier for the wife and mother, who
after all, bears the heaviest burden.
no matter what we may do. It Is
time to run water into the house, put
in bathroom, better lighting sys-
TENS, power machinery for the home,
and in general raise our standard Of
living.
Why not use some Of our money
to make our homes more comfortable
and AXE work easier for the women
folks. instead Of trying to pile up
more money, which advancing years
will prevent us from getting much
good OF?
Caesar found the Br1tons Glad In
skins.
Tiger beetles, found ell the world
over, run down their prey by speed OF
foot.
In England until the reign Of Will
liam III bigamy was punishable by
death.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-07-20
MODERN M,oNoM1,,s.

MODERN NyONOM1tCS. So
Shortage-What occurs when mer-
chants are about ready to boost the
price still higher.
Glutt--What occt rs when the pub
lie refuses to be stuck any further.
Money--What p'ofiteers want 70
get q complete coll ection Of.
Supply and dem And--ThB eternal
alibi.
Malthusian theory-The higher the
fewer,
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-07-20

FROM THE VETS BIBLE.
"And the Lord laid: Let there be
light twines and berry and there
was hight (wineS ind beer].~
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-07-20

French scientists announce they've
succeeded in isolaing the influenxa
germ and we urge them b, keep It
that way.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-07-20
F1nale-The dear departed.

Life and the pursuit Ut Happiness
remain to us II we don't try to And
the latter behind a pair Of swinging
doorH.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-07-20

Caesar found the Bntons Glad In
skins.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-07-20
PRuDEs WEE KNsoNL

PRUDES we KNsOWLL
We know . very awful prude
Whose name is Sophoniaba Hack
sett;
She will not serve potatoes nude,
insisting each IA asst wear Its Jacket.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-07-20
'NorrITR zoo IY,kic.

The herons In their nlarslly clinns
Observation always ui,e.
They stand on ON, leg at time
To save their pants and shoes
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-07-20

Tiger beetles, found all the world
over, run down their prey by speed OF
foot.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-07-20

Japan has asked American enTin-
ears to build subway In Tokio-of
the New York variety. Ju9t when
prospects for better relations be-.
tween Nippon ard the q. g. were
Frightening!
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-07-20

n ! COULD. :
I'd chant q eoul-ilspirins lynn
For Poland and Esthonis,
The Ukraine, Juc0-Slavta,
Slovakia and Lfyonia:
I'd praise them an q "a tout them
II knew more ab out them.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-07-20

Perhaps they are banking on the
number Of southern voters who
haven't heard that Roosevelt is dead.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-07-20

What bouquet of withered flow
ers Baker. Burleson and Palmer
constitute.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-07-20

PRuDDs We nyovr--1L
Another is Patricia Sla.v,
Each salad that ihe eats must have
| A Russian or Rouuefort dressing.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-07-20

In England until the reign Of Will
liam III bigamy was punishable by
tdeath
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-07-20

CHEER. UP EOME.
When you get old and weak ana bald
You may be fairly sure
Your barber will not offer you
His latest dandr ruff cure.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-05-22
Restrain LOngshoremen
 From Using Threats In
 Keeping Men From Work
By Associated Press

New Orleans. May 21.-Judge Foster of the United States district court late today granted an injunction to the Southern Pacific Steamship Com pany restraining eleven longshoremen from using threats or violence in keeping men from working on the docks of ships of this company.
 The attorneys for the steamship company presented twenty affidavits alleging brick throwing, violence and threats had been used against the en- ployes of the company. The counsel for the strikers stated that while they denied the contents of the affidavits they acquiesced in the injunction say ing that they felt it useless to oppose an injunction to restrain them from doing something already unlawful to do.
 In announcing his decision Judge Foster said the injunction would in no way stop union men from peacefully trying to persuade the men of the value of joining the union and that the intention was simply to prevent the use of violence or threats.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-05-22
OPE1KA

Opelika. May 21.(- Specially = Trade in Opelika continues good despite the unprecedented rains and poor pros- poets for crops in the contiguous ter ,ritory Also much building and inn provements are in progress, notWith- standing the high price of materials and the great scarcity of labor All lines of business seem to be prosper ing and the streets are congested with trucks and automobiles carrying on the traffic of the city. Everybody ap- pears to be satisfied except possibly the farmers and supply merchants. some of whom are wearing long faces on account of the crop outlook. But a few days of fair weather and sunshine will make a wonderful difference in the aspects of crop conditions.
 Much interest is being shown in the trial of Thomas E, Owen, charged with first degree murder, now going on in the Lee county circuit court. Owen is charged with having shot and killed Tom Martin in Phenix City last Christ rias eve night. The jury has been se- lected and the trial begun. About 30 witnesses have been summoned in the case.
 Commencement exercises of the Ope- lika High school will begin Sunday morning and Dr. c. A. Rush. pas tor of Trinity Methodist Church. will de lixer the commencement sermon, Senior class exercises will be held Mon day evening at Palmer hall, and the baccalaureate address will be delivered Tuesday night by Rev. w. G. McDow- ell. rector of the Episcopal churches at Opelika and Auburn. The graduating class this year is composed of 2s mem bers.
 H. Rubin, merchant of Lafayette. has filed papers for voluntary bankruptcy in the eastern division of the federal court here. and George Glover has been appointed receiver. The first credi- tors meeting is scheduled for May 2S. Assets are given as approximately $13,- 0ee, and liabilities as $16.000.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-05-22
B|RM|NGPORT DAY
 PREPARATIONS ARE ] DRAWING ID HEAD
Five Big Organizations at Two Separate Luncheons. Ship-By-Truck Parade.
 Visit Warrior River

'Birmingport Day." May 27, will be a gala occasion, according to the plans announced yesterday at the Civit9u Club.
 Members of all civic organizations will visit and inspect Birmingport on this day. The ship by-truck parade will be held in the city and the par ticipants will later make the trip to the Warrior by road. All merchants will be asked to close shop during the afternoon. The City Commission will take part in the celebration.
 The trip to Birmingport will be made on Thursday after a joint lunch con of the Kiwanis and Rotary Clubs at the Tutwiler hotel. The Civitan and Community Clubs and Real Estate Exchange will lunch at the Southern Club. These five clubs will be joined later by the Civic Association ana the Automobile Club.
 Secrtary- Manager c. L. Harold of the Civic Association asks that the members of the association take part in the trip of inspection and that all contemplating the trip communicate with him at his office as soon as pos sibIe.
 The members of the clubs will leave Birmingham at 1:30 o'clock Thursday afternoon and go to Birmingport by rail After inspecting the work that is going on at this terminal, they will return to Birmingham about 7:30 o'clock in the evening.
 ship by-truck demonstration is planned to be held on May 27, includ- ing a parade on the streets of the business section and the trip to Bir- mingport through the country. It is estimated that 250 trucks will take part in the parade. All merchants who use trucks are urged to enter them with appropriate advertising, and com pete for one of three prizes which will be given to the three trucks that best advertise Birmingport.
 Plans for the ship by truck parade were announced to the members of the Civitan Club by Kelly B. Spencer. tion picture was given by ship-by truck activity in all parts of the coun- try.
 Birmingham Civitan Club, club No. 1 of the international organization, Is very active in organizing similar clubs in other places. They have a field man who is making efforts to start Civitan Clubs in southern cities.
 In Memphis, Tenn, a club was start ed with fifty members, which is very promising, acording to the report which Dr. c. w. Shropshire, president of the club, gave at the meeting yes terday A Civitan Club is being ganized in Helena, Ark, and the field worker will also start one in Little Rock, Ark, very soon.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-05-22
Civil Service Jobs

The following civil service examlna- tions have been announced for June ~ by the civil service commissions:
 Specialist in Kindergarten education; salaries range from $2,000 to $2,5o0 year
 Senior architect in the interstate com merce commission and throughout coun- try; s1,S0o to s2,700 a year.
 Assistant explosives chemist; salary $2, 400 to $3,000 year.
 Chemical engineer, oil and fabrication research in the bureau of standards, department of commerce, Washington sS,000 to $4,O00 a year.
 Wood technologist; s2,160 to SS,soO year: assistant wood .technologist, sl,sno to s2,1OO a year, in the forest servlce, Madison. Wis, or elsewhere Drainage engineer, in the bureau or public roads, for duty in the field; salary at $2, 100 to s2,700 year. Agrculturist, irrigated field corps for duty on the Umatilla reclamation pro- ject with headquarters at Hermiston. Ore, at S1,SO0 to $2, 400 a year. Ordnance research engineer; several vacancies to be filled at s4,000 to $o,ooo a year.
 Expert clock repairer, vacancies 0 De filled in the war department Washing ton, at s1,600 a year. Bacteriologist, for duty at St. Ellza- beth's hospital, Washington, at S2,ooo ! year, with $20 per month temporary Tn crease and maintenance. For application blanks and further m formation apply to A. B. Guyton, local secretary; Birmingham postotflce.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-05-22
HEFLIN

Heflin, May Especial. )-William H. Campbell. rural carrier for Route 8 from this office, was buried at Pleasant Hill, this county, Thursday afternoon. Mr Campbell had been suf- fering for several months and had been in declining health for four or five years. He had carried the mail for No. 3 for ten or more years and had as good record as any carrier from the Heflin office, 1t is said. Rev. Grubbs conducted the funeral services.
 Henry A. Barker carrier for Route No l, Muscadine, this county, has been transferred to Haleyville. where he will carry Route 1 also. MT. Barker says that the principal reason that he made the change is that he will live in town and that the public schools are better at Haleyville than at Musca- dine.
 There will be three all-day s.nsings in Cleburne county Sunday. May 23- One is to be held at Pine Grove, an- other at Cedar Creek. and still another at Fruithurst These singings are part of every summers work and peo- pie from several counties flock to the sings.
 Clarence Sorrel. who was electro cuted at Anniston Wednesday, was buried at Chulafinnee Thursday. He was youth of IS and had lived in An niston only few months, going from this county there.
 Notice of the American Legion. Gle burne Post No. 1, meeting May 22 at, 2 p. m. has been sent to the members by the post adjutant. Hugh G. Porter. Delegates to the state convention at Anniston June 8 and will be elected and other important items settled.
 The trustees of the Heflin public schools have reelected J. Fred Gurley superintendent for tho ensuing school year. MT. Gurley comes back at salary increase of 63 per cent. The assistants have been elected also. The superintendent announces that Miss Sarah Foster has been reelected at salary increase of 40 per cent. Mrs. Stewart of the Gadsden city schools and Miss Esther Carpenter of the Opelika schools have been elected. This makes the third term that the ge- nial professor has been elected.to serve in Heflin.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-05-22
THIRTEEN HORSES 3 ENTERED TO STARTH
 IN KENTUCKY RACE

Louisville, Ky, May 21.-Thirteen dis-' tance horses of the older division, wnicn| are regarded as among the speediest on| the American turf. had been entered tod night to start in the Kentucky handicap, which will be run at Churchill Downs tomorrow afternoon.
 The race will carry s1000O in addea money, will be for 3-year-olds and up- ward and over distance of mile and a quarter.
 Observant turfmen declared the classic would be one of the most open in it's r'-'- tory.
 Horses entered include King Gorin, Boniface. Courtship, Sway, Minto IL Be Frank, Ginger, Pictor, Drastic, The For ter, Dodge, Midway and Linden.
 Apparently the public choice will center upon either Boniface, which has won llvf of six starts this spring, including t1 < Clark handicap; King Gorin, 1917 hang cap winner; Be Frank. winner of Latonia Derby last year, or The PorJ which has broken several racing record
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-05-22
TALLADEGA

Talladega, May 21.-(Specia1.)- Harshal Smith. a seventeen-year -old
 boy, has been arrested in Clay county and brought here on charge of steal Ing a Shetland pony in Sylacauga. The youth was making his way toward La Grange, Ga, 1t is said, at the time of his arrest. The alleged stolen pony has been returned to the owner.
 More than 200 Shriners from Annis- ton and Sylacauga attended the barbe- cuc given by the local ShrinerS Club at Chambers lake Thursday evening. Zamora Temple, Birmin gham, will stage a ceremonial her In July and interest is already being manifested here in the coming of the large num- ber of Shriners to this city at that tune.
 The sixth anniversary of the estab lishment of Trinity Methodist Church here will be observed Sunday. Rev. W. R. Battle of Inglenook, under whose pastorate the church edifice was erected. will preach at the Il o'clock hour.
 Word has been received here of the death of Joseph T. Fant, formerly of this county. which occurred at Puget SOuHQ NAVY ldIQ, w tOiis DSebSAi Is said to have resulted from a gun shot wound self-inflicted. He left letter and check with the request that his body be turned over to the Elks for cremation. Relatives her have orderd the body to be sent to this county for interment Mir. Fant was forty five years of age. He is survived
 by two uncles in this section, Wiley and Edmund Ogletree.
 This Is closing out week with more than twenty schools In Talladega county. With the exception of Syla- cauga. Gantt's, and this city, schools at all other points in the country will have closed their doors for this ses- sion at the end of this week. R. Heine was elected president of the board of trustees of the Deaf and Dumb School here at meeting of the board yesterday. The following mem bers of the board were present: Alto V. Lee of Gadsden, J. R. Bell of Pratt yille, T. M. Hobbs, Athens; w. H. Boynton and R. Heine, Talladega. MT. Heine succeeds as president the late Maj. G. A. Joiner of this city. The graduating exercises of the school
 were held this morning, the baccalau- l reate address being delivered by Rev. A. c. Ormond of this city.
 Through local newspaper minis ters of this city and section have been asked to give their opinions concern 1 ing the expediency and Justification of farmers working seven days in the week for the next two or three weeks l in order to get a reasonable crop planted. Farmers, it is reported, are /! in a distressing condition throughout 1 this section and some hold to the | theory that they would be thoroughly !, justified in pursuing such course
 as that suggested The query was put 1 yesterday and no replies have as yet submitted by the ministers. hence their position is not yet known.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-05-22
WORKING TO FORM
 NATIONAL CHAPTER

Members of the Sixth division veterans at their regular meeting Sunday will re- ceive a message from Maj. Gen. Walter II. Gordon, formerly division commander. officials of the organization announce.
 The local chapter, which Is the only organization of ex-service men composed exclusively of those of the Sixth division in the country are attempting to secure through General Gordon a list of all former members of the Sixth division. This list comprises some 40,000 names. It is on file at the adjutant generals office in Washington and 1t is only through some authority like General Gordon that it can be secured
 The purpose of getting list of the names will be to make efforts to start other Sixth division chapters all over the country.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-05-22
SCOUTS HUNTING
 TRANSPORT ROAD

First Lieut.. D. M Ross of the United States army passed through Birmingham Friday on his way from Atlanta to Mem phis as scout for the United States army transport convoy that Is to make the trip from Washington to Los Angeles month hence.
 Lieutenant Ross Is to report the feasi- bility of route and the state of roads. Other scouts are making similar inspec- tion trips. Their reports will be for warded to Washington and the army board will be guided in making the final itinerary according to the findings or these scouts If portions of the Bank head highway are not in fit condition the convoy will go around them. The army board is taking no chances.
 'rThe convoy is going over the best roads," said J. Asa Rountree, general manager of the Bankhead Highway As sociation, who is just back from Wash ington, and the board is going to know the best route before the convoy starts. It has large map in the war depart- ment at Washington, on which every mile of the route is being dotted.
 Any place, which, by reason or poor condition of roads is not feasible of bein 5 reached, will be passed by. It behooves all communities desiring the convoy to pass through them to get busy on the roads in their vicinity.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-05-22
ANNUAL MEETING
 OF THE Y. M. c. A.

Members of the board of directors of the Young Mems Christian Association will hold their annuai meeting a,a at o'clock next Tuesday evening at dinner in the Tutwiler hotel
 pr E.. E. George. of Memphis Tenn, will be one of the speakers of the even ing. He will talk on the work the expects to do throughout the coming year. In letter sent out to all the members of the board of directors ny the president of the association. 1t IS stated that the annual report of the as sociation will be read, and that mtor- nation of value to every member will be given out.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-05-22
Frank Moran Puts Goddard to Sleep
 In Second Round

London, May 21.-Frank Moran of Pittsburg tonight knocked out Frank Goddard, the English heavyweight in the second round of what was to have been a twenty-round bout. The fight took place in the Holburn Stadium.
 The bout started at both men going at fast pace. In the second round Goddard first was floored twice for counts, respectively, of nine and eight, and then Moran landed terrific right on the Englishman's jaw and he was counted out.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-05-22
TRAVELLING MEN TO
 MEET AT CHAMBER
 OF COMMERCE TODAY

All travelings men of the city are re- quested to be present at the meeting or the T. P. A and U. c. T. at noon today at the Chamber of Commerce.
 The meeting has been called by Charlie Abrams, chairman of the ways and means committee of the benefit baseball campaign. All travelling men, regard less of whether they belong to either of the two organizations or not are ex- pected to be present.