Albuquerque morning journal., 1920-10-04
HUMNNIT.NNIAN LIES.

Believe the dramatic critic ana
you will believe these two things:
first, they who tread the boards are
asked to make a lie live; second,
the less the role is Ike the actors
own character, the better will be
the portrayal. From which it
would appear that one acts as one
is not, easier than as one is.
l have found it so in real life.
Long years of watching my land
lord come in late at night have
taught me that it is easier to lie
plausibly about what he has not
done than to tell truths which his
wife will believe. For children,
spinisters, widows, bachelors and
widowers, honesty as a policy may
be workable and potent; but there
are times in the experience of the
average married man when there
is nothing so soothing. satisfying
and reasSuring as = ~all-told lie.
Premium Placed on Telling.
Now, mind, you, J. place a pre-
MUM on the telling. An honest
confession is better than a trans
parent lie. Fantastic creations
should be avoided. Simple. guile
less narratives which observe
strictly the laws of unity and Sc
quence and seem to come within
the limits of possibility for any hu-
man being-narratives which sound
like a page from Theodore Dresser
these are to be preferred.
Take the matter Of being de-
taiued at the office. occasionally
it really happens. An extra tare
train, bearing a buyer from the
West, arrives late. The salesman
who would normally handle the ae-
count is in postwar Europe col
lecting trophies which will some
day show his proves as a COM
missioned officer in the ordnance
department. You are delegated as
the entertainment committee You
drink, possibly, little cactus
whiskey which the buyer brought
with him from Arizona. You
couldn't insult him by refusing,
could you? No, certainly not! /
see that and you see that, but your
wife? Never.
What do you tell her when the
clock strikes twice or thrice as you
climb the stairs? The truth? l
prithee, no. She classifies such a
tale as set C. Series X, Convivial
Evidence" 1t is a lie, an intended
lie, a manufactured lie. not even
an original lie.
A Tale with a Heart Throb.
Tell her, perchance. that you had
been intending to buy her a dia-
thpt had hnnn
trading in stocks on margins to do
it, that you had accumulated S3,-
600, almost enough for the Jewels
you sought when turn in the
market swept it all away. ane that
out of sorrow for her, your wife,
who had been robbed. you--you
took to drink. oh, it is far from
a moral tale, but it hits, twang on
a minor cord way down in her
heart and-well, women are odd
creatures.
So are men. My father, for in
stance: if l visit him while return
ing from Chicago, he invariably.
asks If visited Lincoln park. The
answer is always affirmative. And
did I see the zoo? / did. 1t was
immense!
Sometime l am going to visit
Lincoln park and see if there is a
zoo. l have never been there and
I would like to know if there really
is a cinnamon bear in the last cage
to the left as you go through the
big building. Father might be
twisted in his directions.
Lie to him? Surely; ] tell him
the little humanitarian lies which
he prefers. l tell him of the gi-
raffe and crane my neck: l tell
him Of the lion and roar at a sofa
pillow; / tell him of the monkeys
and climb along the stairway.
When my description is ended. he,|
pats me approvingy, just as !
stroke my landlady's angora cat
when he laps UP his milk but does
Observation-Disclosures the saucer dry