Evening star., 1920-01-11

home'-meaning John How
ard Payne. of course-also
never had a beardN
When the author of Home Sweet
Home had died in Tunis and his body
was being brought back at the ex-
pense OF W. w. COrcoran the news
papers broke out all over in a beau
tiful something about ''the man who
never had a home was coming home
at last. And when Mr.: Corcoran had
erected monument at the poets
grave in Oak Hill, about all Wash
1ngton attended the dedication cere-
monies, either as privileged specta-
tors inside the cemetery or just plain
people packed against the railings on
the street side-which generally
speaking, folks. is a good place to be,
so Tar as graveyards are concerned
but, anyhow:
The bust of Payne that topped the
marble shaft showed a dreamy face
bearded like unto the gentleman of
western literature usually mentioned
as 'pard." And everybody said
what manly man he must have been,
but-you know how things get around
after the impressive ceremonies
were over-say about two weeks-the
town became aware that the late Mr..
Payne never wore a beard.
And the next thing that happened;a y
ne was shaved by stonemason.
This bare-faced fact must be abso-
lutte. for the reason that one OF the
cleverest women you ever met in your
life saw the stonemason do it.
lie owns war Hedal and likewise
enough epaulets taken from
captured or slain German officers to
top lounging cushion-only il must
he understood that the lounging is
to be left out. And, just among our
har, r oh -aI
around the office the staff couldn't
quite make out whether he was most
proud of his war trophy or of the
fact that his wife had made the
cushion. Lots of men are like that
Lord love them.F -
Mothers and wives who own heroes
of their own may not be able to get
thrill out OF the remarks of an
ordinary over-the-to sergeant ma jor
but in case you live in an Adamless
Eden-Eden may not be the descrip-
tive word, but it sounds cheerfuller
than having to admit right before
everybody that you are a one-crea-
ture person who had no man to give
to the war-you may be interested in
what this one soldier said
Yes. we have home of our own
TO put the cushion ina nice, little
$1,000 bungalow for $4,000. 1t isn't
paid for. of course. and it wouldn't
be started except for my wife. We
across she took to war-workinfy for
the government, and with what she
saved out of her salary and my allot-
ment there was enough to make
j got home. ! felt mighty sorry for
one poor fellow ! went over with
who was going back to the front
after being invaiided home. His
witt had written that she was bank
ing mis- allotment and earning good
money against his return. but he
didn't find thing but bills; every
thing gone for frivolous philander-
inys. He got killed in the first fight
after that
Which made it all right for the
ii. like the mikado of comic opera.
our future punishment fits the
crime" it would be interesting to
know what is going to happen to
wife like that
ARE you acquainted with the mon
~ key of Mons?
An Army officer brought home from
r lgium a Replica tiny silver fig
u,-H with one clawish hand posed re-
frctiVe.y against its chin and with
look of introspection in it's deep set
eyes. In showing it to a friend he mem
toned that, like u number of officers
:" no had been to Mons. he carried the
thing as a mascot The friend told a
NDiHdH dDOul 1t, anu she DciHS uiidC-
ouainted with the monkey of Mons asked
a soldier who had been there
Never heard of it, but you can't
Judge by me- as l was only in Mons
a couple of days-sot great coal mines
there. though.
Another soldier who had been to Mons
long enough to go sightseeing was inn
pressed mainly by the cathedral of st.
Waldr ,p-"built in the fifteenth and
sixteenth centuries; Gothic architec-
ture. and-the monkey must have been
there, of course but"
Then the woman extended her in
quiry 20 private who had hobbled
around MONS for two hours while wait
ing TO get away:
Sure / saw it, Bronze statues in a
street-or maybe it was ore of those
garGoyle things on the church wall but
anyhow, l saw it-at least it looked
like monkey though | wouldn't be
willing to swear to it."
Which is the why of this cry
Are YOU acquainted with the monkey
of Mons?
THERE is an old woman who ped
dies things in basket-pins but
tons. shoestrings and the like.
Another woman who sometimes
takes fly at basket bargains. noticed
The other day that the old body's cour-
age seemed TO be sagging at botf
ends and sort of slumpy in the mid
die. She had broken her specs And
specs cost money. They were just
cheap magnifying glasses, so the Gus.
toner woman drummed up a friend
who keeps them in stock and tina,
would have been all there was to it
except for what the peddler woman
had TO say about life-and all of u:
are interested in the big thing thai
each possesses without in the leas
knowing why:
II can stand the day. no matter
what il brings, so that l can read "a
night-to forget l hear people sa.
what they would do if they could live
their lives over. but if l had to trave
the same way ! wouldn't accept an
other trip as gift. There is no pleas
ure on earth that could compensate m,
for the agony | suffered when ] frs
realized that ] was old without eve
having had a chance to be young
to feel the yearning of youth, handi
capped by the ugliness of age; to hav,
blood-red heart and gray .~lirs. ant
to- long for love. knowing that love
had forever passed me by. Why, ever
now. and I'm seventy-six years old. j