davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1920-09-02
COMPANIONS IN CRIME.

Customer-Do you make any re-
duction for those in the same line of
business?
Waiter-Yes. Are you a restau-
rant keeper?
Customer-No-I'm a robber.-
lie Lire, Paris.
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1920-09-02
No "Garaueo for Him

Edwin had seen cemetery where
there were many mausoleums. One day
he said to his mother: when l die,
/ don't want to be buried In one of
those garages In the cemetery"
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1920-09-02
New Excuse tor Stealing,

A man in st. Louis. arrested for
stealing eighty pounds of metal,
handful at time. said he did 1t be-
cause he was suffering bad wooden
leg" and wanted money to buy new
ano
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1920-09-02
Some Never Learn That.

Young Mrs. Torkins says that If ex'
perience were as good a teacher as
advertised, Charley would by this time
have learned something about which
horse to hot on
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1920-09-02
Yucca Plant Disappearing.

Yucca plant is disappearing In the
Southwest because Of methods en-
ployed in harvesting them for the
making Of binder Irvine.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1920-06-22

FOR SALE-Two frame houses. 6
rooms each, cellars; in good neigh
borhood, in good condition, near
streets cars, Torpedo plant and
shipyarI', also meat market stores
immediate possession on ono. To
settle an estate. will sell at
sacrifice at S1l00 and $500 dol
lars. each. Call at my office t.
inspect. A. H. Agnew, Exclu-
sive Agent. 624 King street, Room
?. Phone 111S. 1I0-tf.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1920-06-22
Richmond, Fredericksburg
and Potomac R. *.

South NDrti
New York Jack sonvillc
$50 d. IN. :. y. G.. L. :. ll.3p p. IN.
Washington Richmond
30 Il. IN. :. Coaches only -
alexandria -Quanticn-l fredericksburg
and local bcyond.)
WaShinEtnn-R Richmond
80 Il. III. 80. CLocaD 80. l.'2 a. III
New York Atlanta Jacksonvill"
81 a. IN. :. IS. \. ID :. $40 p. IN.
Observation-Disclosures
1851 u. IN. go. GocaD 80. l.3G =. IN.
Washington Richmond
Hi IT, III. ;. CExprcss) ;. G.2S y, III.
Neutrality-suspicious.
k$.l2 J.. IN. u.ocaD a.5% =. mix
80 y. m. g.. e. l.. 81" y. m.
Washington Atlanta birmingham
j.l7 p. IN. 80. Is. \. I'D go. II noon
Washington Richmond
81 y. III. 49,. G.ocaD 1.31 y. IN.
New York Tampa st. Petersburg
Sl1 y. III. :. Is. ~ ID ;. so -. M.
New York -Jacksonvillc-S Petersburg
.. II y. IN. 49,. "a. &. LAD $50. 80 "A. III.
Washingion- Fredericksburg
I2.ly midnight N.ncaD 49,. sos Il. III.
Richmond Washington
............ (EXprcss) 80. us p. III.
X Saturdays only.
:. y. Shelton. Ticket Agent. AlcXnn-
1ria. Va j. +. Mordecai. Traffic Man
aGcr. Richmond. Va.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1920-06-22
PREDICTS HARD FIGHT
Wc.d Urges Union Of all Republic
cans to Elect Senator Harding

Wcad Urges Union Of all Republic
cans to Elect Senator Harding
Kansas City, Mo-, June 22.-Re-
publicans who expect an easy VIC
tory for their Presidential candidate
at the fall elections arc mistaken.
in the opinion of Major General
Leonard Wood.
Wood, interviewed here, urged
the union of all Republican clements
N support Of Senator Warren Z.
Harding.
"Thc people are interested in a
constructive straightforward pol
lev, not in mistakes of the past
They want to know what the nc
publican party will do. If its poll
cics are reactionary. it will jeopar-
die success. And no greater mis-
take can be made than to assume
that the fight is going to be an
easy one. It's going to be one of
The hardest contests in the history
If the party.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1920-06-22

FOR SALE-Thc choicest residence
lots in Alexandria, go out to Rose
mont and note the building in prog
ress there. Eight handsome homes
now being constructed. lots for SALE
for cash or on easy terms to buy
crS of high character only. Pick
out your future home location anG
secure it now at less than the fore
war price. +. c. Goodnow Company
62l King Street. Phone ops. 146-6tl
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1920-06-22

FOR SALE OR RENT-Corner
house and lot No. 735 South Lee
street, newly papcred and painted.
with all modern improvements.
including toilet. bath, hot and
cold water, electric lights, etc.
Also large lot. Will sell at bar
gain to quick buyer. Apply Abe l..
Cohen, Ais King street. 142-tf
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1920-06-22

A. f. MANkIN-Practical painter
and repair man, roof repairing.
both single az! metal, 50 years
experience at house painting and
general house repair work. We
keep all roofs that VIC repair and
paint in good condition for twelve
months. Let US give you figure
on your painting. We can save
you money. Residence, l4f6 Duke
astrect. Phone No. 1l57-J.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1920-06-22
BURGLAR MIMICS CAT

Chester. Pa. June 22.-''It's only
the cat" commented Mrs. Fred
Strohm. Jr.. when her attention was
called to noise in the kitchen of the
Strohm home as the family entered
after having attended services at
church Sunday night.
Nov | know it's the cat continu-
ed Mrs. Strohm when the ears of the
listeners were greeted by plaintivc
MEOW" coming out of the darkness
CT the kitchen.
When members Of the Strohm fam
ily came downstairs yesterday morn
ing. however. they realized i wa9 not
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1920-06-22

the cat who made the noise in the
kitchen, but burglar who knew how
to initiate pussy to perfection.
Mr. and Mrs. Strohm arc satisfied
the cat would not have gotten away
with a wallet containing nearly one
hundred dollars and five times that
amount in jewelry, besides silver
ware. And then, again. the cat woult
not have left this saucy note, found on
The. kitchen table: 49,.
"The old cat thanks you for let
ling him alone. Besides, he liked the
way you left the good things in the
ice box. This old cat scratches when
you bother him. So you did we'll to
let him alone"
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1920-06-22

arG women to sell
homes. If you can sell one home
to Il friend or acquaintance, W"
will pay you liberal commission
for yonr efforts. If ycu can give
all yoGr time to the Gale of prop
erty in Alexandria We will furnish
you with an office, pay your adj
vcrtising expense, and transporta-
lion. We will also furnish You /:
large listing of homes fer sale.
give YOU promising leads ard help
you close sales. We will pay you
liberal commission on all sales
you may make, only men and wo-
men who arc strictly honest and
who are truthful at all times need
apply. Previous experience is
not necessary. Address "Salcs-
man Alexandria Gazette.
4S-6c
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1920-06-22

CITY. SUBURBAN and country
property. Buy or sell through
this Office. Centrally located,
Open most evenings. Horner Next
Woolworth's 5 and 10 cent store.
Telephone all hours Nos. 600 and
731. 141-tf.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1920-06-22
SOUTHERN RAILWAY
SYSTEM

Arrival and Departure Of faSscnSri
Trains, Union Station. Alexandria, Va.
Th" following schedule figures pub
lishrd as information aud not guar
antccd.
eastern Standard IimcD
South North
New York Memphis
80 Il. m :. tVia Bris;ob =. i2.l% d. IN.
Washingtotl-Da nvillc
49, a. m. -. CLocaD -. SIS y. IN.
New York New Orleans
S.iT "a. IN. ;. Via Atlanta) ll."S y. M.
800 H. IN. Wash HarrisonhurS 9.l3 pm.
Washington atlanta
931 a; m. 80. (CoachcS) 80. ll.11 p. H..
Washington-M Memphis
2.27 D. NJ. :. Via Bristol =. LIS y. m.
Washington Birmingham
3.i7 p. IN. :. Via .Ntlanta) EOS y. nj.
lI2 pm. Wash. -Harrisonhurg 10" ain.
n-Charlottcsvillc
1872 y. III. 80. tLocaD go. 1905 a. ~.
Washington Warrcntnn
so u. IN. $50. GocaD 80. i.".' Il. IN.
III y. IN. y. Y. AIKEN Augusta IFS -. IN
New York New Orleans
lDJ2 y. III. :. CVia BRISTOL 50" a. N
l0.17 y. IN. New York atlanta SIS 1t. IN.
New Hork-N"w Orleans
ll.O2 p. III. :. Via .h,lantaJ SIS Il. M
Charlotte Washington
...... l.ocaD ...... SIS y. m.
The southern serves The South
= -. Shelton, Ticket Agent. AlcNan-
dria. Va: $. T.. burgess. Division Pas
s"n=cr Agent. 1900 Penna. Ave. Wash
ingtOn, ID. &.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1920-06-22

EaPITOL JUNK CO.. 1910 KING
STREET. Highest cash price pait.
for used automobiles, brass, cop
per, zinc, rags. iron, paper anG
o,Sgazir"s. P:owpt attention tc
phone orders. Automobile parts
or hand. Telephone 559-W.
1d5-6p.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1920-06-22
WASHINGTON VIRGINS
RAILWAY co.
In Effect February -. 1918.
Subject to Change Without Motto

In Effect February -. io1S.
Subject to Change Without Notirr
I.rnvr tIrrandrin for Washington
A. M-aJ.00. $40. $50. $40. so.
- 50 6 80. &c. 80. 100. 40, I.20. $50.
4I35. 40 .1.45. $50. 'I.o1. 500. $50.
IS IL. \. 30. $3.50. $40. 800. 90. ?ip,
1906 lu.2u. 1910. 100. 11."0. l.i4.
=. M.--12.00. 1870. l2.in. 100. l.2".
! 50, 40. $50. 100. 2.Io. 80. ia.
80. $50. 800. 80. $50 80. ia,
$40 90, 10 go i.3n. t.io. 10.
400. so $50 $50 $40. $50. 600.
6 10. $50. $50. Go $50. 100. 40.
7.30 80. 30. 500. So" $40. = ~"
. 20. 30. 1900. 1920, 1910 HOO, l1.2o
lilo. 4. N.-l2 90.
Except Sundays and Holidays.
Except Sundays.
Leave NIrxuudrin -Isor ait, AernoI,
\. :. M.-t5.35: 6.j5.. 49,, $50. $50.
1885. 1875
p. M.-l2.S5. 1.:5. 2.35. SO. I.@5. .35
g IS. ..%5. S. SO. 9.S5. 1876. I.55,
Except Sundays.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1920-06-22

NOT1CE-Bighest prices paid FOR
gentlemel's cast off clothes and
shoes. viii call in city and So,
Durbs. Wolfson, the tailor, 30i
King street, Phone 1897. 7l-tf
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1920-06-22

t.OTICE--I am paying the highest
prices in ,asi1 for secondhand
furniture, Carpets, stores, etc
Also buying waste paper in bales
newspapers, books and magazines
Chas N. Rauch, Corner Cameron
snd Royal streets. Phone 1888.
lr -2:nnp.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1920-06-22

FOR SALES IL acres, s
acres of which are cleared.
about 3 miles from Alexan-
dria, on good gravel road,
price only $3.50, on any rea-
sonable terms. E. E. Carver
and Company; 127 North
Fairfax Street, Phone 432.
136-tf.
Arizona republican., 1920-09-19

WOOLNAP BLANKETS, ST. Size 6Ox80 inches; shown in blue, tan and gray; best wash able colors; fancy block patterns. A real value in the Housekeep- ers' Sale, at a G7 1E pair,
 BEACON PLAID BLANKETS, $7.45-Size 66x8O inches; dou- ble fancy plaids in pink, blue, tan and gray. A value of the most exceptional sort, in the Housekeepers' Sale, CT IR at pair, ps
 NASHUA BLANKETS, $3. 59- Size 60x76 inches; shown in tan and grey, with fancy border. Housekeepers' 2 k Sale, S3.59 BEACON CRIB BLANKETS, 98c TO $3.75-A full assortment to meet all requirements. We have marked these crib blankets special in the Housekeepers' Sale, OQc TO co TX at coN posO FANCY PLAID WOOL ELAN KETS, S10.50-An extra special in an all wool blanket; size 66x 80 inches; double bed size; shown in tan, blue, gray and pink. Rare values in the House keepers Sale, at a S1O.5O FANCY WOOL BLANKETS, s15.95-Size 68x80 inches; ex- tra heavy; pretty plaids in as- sorted colors. These are all wool blankets of superior finish. A remarkable value in the House pair, pA'cO LAMBsWOOL BLANKETS, S18.5O - Size 66x8O inches; beautiful patterns in tan, laven- der, rose, pink and blue; 3-inch satin ribbon binding; colors are washable. Marked special for the Housekeepers' Sale at the low price of a G1Q R0 pair, VAo'OO
Arizona republican., 1920-09-19
Look Over These LOW Prices

BEACON SLUMBER ROBES, $6.95-Shown in fancy light col ors. Don't miss this value in the Housekeepers' sale' S6.95 LAMBSWOOL BLANKETS, $2O.O0 . Size 72x84 inches; shown in blue, pink, tan, rose and lavender; three-inch bind ing of satin ribbon. A value ex- traordinary in the House cO0 keepers Sale, at a pair, p@O COTTON COMFORTERS, S3.95 Filled with dark carded cotton and covered with silkoline in dark colors. Special in the Housekeepers' Sale, 60 OS at each, pOsOC COTTON FILLED COMFORTS $4.5O AND $4.75 Dark cotton filled; plain silkoline back with fancy silko top. Housekeepers' Sale Sale Price, at S4.5O < S4.75 SATEEN COVERED COM FORTERS, S6.75-Solid colored center with fancy border; filled with sterilized cotton. A real value in the House Sc TX keepers Sale, at each, pO's BEACON TRAVELLING RUGS, $7.95-Shown in beautiful dark plaids. They must be seen to be appreciated. Specially priced in the Housekeepers' G7 QR Sale, at ps '0c FINE SILKO COMFORTS, S9.75-Light colors with plain borders; a soft, thick cotton; light weight with lots of warmth. A value that you should not miss in the Housekeepers' GO TX Sale, at each, VO'sc EXTRA SIZE COMFORTS, S1O.OO-Made 21a yards long; best grade silko covering with white cotton filling; tackled closely with colored yarn. Buy these comforts in the House keepers Sale, at S10 00 each, VAO'OO
Arizona republican., 1920-09-19

Annual HOusekeepers Sale Blankets IA become established the lives all additional coverings which require.
 We have advantage of the market that would low blankets and comforts this sale We with thousands dollars worth of blankets and worthy and ity this advertisement lower than lar prices Seeing believing May expect during the u of this great sale? -(Economy Basement)
Columbus daily courier. [volume] (Columbus, N.M.) 1920-1920, 1920-06-19
n

Daily Courier. Zoe per month.
Columbus daily courier. [volume] (Columbus, N.M.) 1920-1920, 1920-06-19
Another Way to Get a
Ford; Have Sick Wife

kindhearted J.. Barriguand Of Pa
jarito has lost his automobile. when
Emilio Padilla and Juan padilla told
him they were In n hurry To get To
a drug store a few days aeo, because
tkey needed To buy some medicine
for a sick wife. Ba%rriguand felt a
little sorry. He consented, upon re.
quest, 10 let the two men borrow his
automobile. They promised to re-.
turn u al once. Police officials were
later notified thalt he auioists who
had gone for medicine had not re-.
turned. Tho police authorities are
now looking for an automobile
1915 oadster.-Albuquerque Herald.
Columbus daily courier. [volume] (Columbus, N.M.) 1920-1920, 1920-06-19
Master Mind" FOTgsr
Eludes Denver Police

DENVER, Colo June 40. Loo
police and detective agencies were
informed Of the escape from Cinciu.
natl officers Of j. II. Hopkins. said
10 be- the master mind Of the
series OF ~forgeries which led 10 the
conviction Of Arthur y. MOORE IN
this city recently. Cincinnati an.
lhoriiies located Hopkins and were
70 take him into custory for the
sherifrs office OF this city. when he
eludcd them and fled In an aulomo.
bile. A detective agency which pro.
lccis several local banks obtained A
clue indicating that Hopkins vas IN
Cincinnati. and William r.. Foley.
district attorney procured a war.
rant. T~elegraphic instruction 10 ap.
prchcnd Hopkins were sent 10 the
Cincinnati branch Of the detective
agency and 20 the city police. u
was announced hers that only two
hanks In Denver escaped the opera.
lions Of the alleged forrers. A wo
man worked with Hopkins, II Is said.
Their toll here is estimated NJ
100000. According 10 detectives. $50
banks In n cities IN duncd by the
trio for a total amount ~ se2o,O0.
Columbus daily courier. [volume] (Columbus, N.M.) 1920-1920, 1920-06-19
Stevens Jail Delivery
Convict Is PaTdOned

Yesterday The Daily Courier pub
lished a. a news item the pardoniug
Of Francisco Acosta OF Luna county
by Governor %larrazolo. The item
yesterday was unintercsung except
Ia show thu .he governor had not
ahaied his policy Of wholesale par
donine. The item today Is Of more
interest because the Daily Courier
is informed that Acosta was IN tile
general Jail delivery which resulted
In the death Of sheriff stevens,
Acosia wa sentenced in April 1910
tn serve - 20 % Year, ne has
served four years. and was granted
an unconditional pardon
Columbus daily courier. [volume] (Columbus, N.M.) 1920-1920, 1920-06-19
~ T1Tnl1lN0
QNB Wt
SS2NIS|IREIT|I| S ||I[!IIE[RFFlYI

and pulled down the shades and went
10 bed
Now if.s place happened 10 BE- the
home Of another Mr.. Badgrr--a very
penccfui feilow-scldom away from
home IN the daytime. but this being .
cloudy day he had zone for a stroll.
when Mr.. Badger returned and
found his door locked. he begun 20
wonder who was inside. for ~ he
peekcd IN AZ the kcyhole. he could
see that the key was In the lock.
Now Mr.. Badger had been locked
but before. 40 be just got a ladder
and climbed ap to the chimney and
slid down.
Young Fox wns asleap and making q
noise about n, and Mr.. Badger IN.
toed 20 his bedroom and looked In aud
there IN hls very WI bed vas Young
Fox. fast asleep.
First he opened the door wide and
then he went 70 the he'd and gave
Young Fox a hard shake.
let me alone.- ne said. opening
one eye to make sure Il was not AFR
Dog.
"0et nut Of my bed" said Mr.. BAD
CERT "thls IA my house"
Possession Il nine points Of the
law replied Young Fox.
DO you see these marks, my
badger said Mr. BADGER. pointing 10
the black stripe on each side Of his
white head.
"Yes. ! see them" said Young Fox.
IAN your family are white-headed. all
old. ! suppose"
"Tn show YOU" said Mr. badger,
and with n spring he vas o. the bed
and took hold Of one Of Young Fox''
ears. which was sticking up.
"Ohi let 20 ~ my eari~ cried Young
Fox. jumping M and trying to shake
on Mr.. Badger. hut II was no use; hl'
teeth were fastened IN Young Fox'
ear for keeps.
Young Fox ran 10 the door and oul
IN the woods crying and jumping. buI
stil Mr.. BADGER chung 10 his ear, and
not until he WIS quite a distance frou
the house aid he lot go.
When he NJ last unfastened MI
Jaws he called after Young Fox. whs
was running; THAT II why I got IN,
badge. because ! have the finest set Of
Jaws IN the world. and n ever yoI
come around here aKnin. ! viii show
you how long ! can hold on with
them"
Y (copyriEhll
Columbus daily courier. [volume] (Columbus, N.M.) 1920-1920, 1920-06-19
N0TIcE FoR puRLIcATI0N.

Department Of the Interior, 4. g.
Land Office n Las Cruces. n NJ.
June a. 1890.
NOTICE is hereby given that
James u. pon, OF Columbus n ~.
who. on May 20. 1915, made home
stead entry No. 0ii75e, for M. Sec.
iion 3, Township % $. Ranpc z w.
n N. p. Meridian has filed notice
Of intention Of make final ilvc.year
proof, 10 establish claim 10 the land
above described before r. :. Cole,
n. s. Commissioner, At Columbus,
n H. on The % daS Of August ilco.
Claimant names a. witnesses
Charles Heath. Of Columbus, n. ~
William u. pprry, of Columbus. n.
A.; David D. GreeR, Of Columbus
n. Nj George w Farrar. OF Column
bus. n. N.
JOHN L. BURNSIDE Register.
lml02d July3i0i0
Columbus daily courier. [volume] (Columbus, N.M.) 1920-1920, 1920-06-19

hereby Withdraw my candidacy
for the nomination Tor District A..
iorney, subject 10 the action Of the
Democratic convention Of the Sixth
District. This action IS taken owing
to the steady increase Of my civil
practice which shall continue to dc.
mand all OF my attention. To the
many friends who have kindly Of.
fered their support in behalf Of my
candidacy | take this opportunity
Of extending my sincere thanks.
EDWARD n. MITCHELL
Columbus daily courier. [volume] (Columbus, N.M.) 1920-1920, 1920-06-19

atm In possession. Young For looked
further;
-Ohi IN ind some one away from
home or some deserted home before
long." thought Young Fox as he
trotted through the woods
II did not matter 20 him NJ all
shether the house was vacant for
good or not N only Il was vacant
when he got there. for Young Fox dld
not like 10 build a home n was too
much work.
He went Into Mr.. Bears house. but
he went rikht out az soon az he could.
Tor AR. Hear looked well able 70 dis
pute with him. and Young Fox dld not
want lrouhle-he wanted TO live In the
woods
NOW this looks nice 10 me- he said
IA he came TO a place where there
seemed 90 be no one az home. and
after looking around Young Fox de-
cided 10 stay. 10 he locked the door
Columbus daily courier. [volume] (Columbus, N.M.) 1920-1920, 1920-06-19
FOx AND MIR. BADoER

FOX had never had a real
Il home. He had lived IN the tail
grass near the marsh. where the ducks
were often to be found. ever since he
was old enough TO take carr Of him
self.
But one day he thought Il waa time
10 take TO the woods aud nnd a home,
sc he started out tenement hunting,
or courEe he DID not mind at all
looking In az every place he found.
There was Mr.. Badgers home; he
looked IN AZ that. but Il happened that
Mr. u. had not got up, 20 Mr.. Fox
decided not 10 turry there.
Mr.. Old Rabbit had left his door
open. too. and In there Young For
looked. but a. Mr.. Old Rabbit was
Columbus daily courier. [volume] (Columbus, N.M.) 1920-1920, 1920-06-19

SANTA FE n. NJ, June is,-Dr.
W. n Lovelaoe Of Albuquerque has
been appointed by Governor o. A..
Larrazolo a member Of the state
board NJ medical examiners. ne sue.
ceeds the late DIR. G. n. Kohlhousen
OF Ration.
Columbus daily courier. [volume] (Columbus, N.M.) 1920-1920, 1920-06-19

Chinese and Japanese capitalists
have formed a corporation TO raise
sheep on an extensive scale IN Man.
churia. where i35.O00 acres Of pas
iurc land will be purchased.
Columbus daily courier. [volume] (Columbus, N.M.) 1920-1920, 1920-06-19

An attachment has been invented
cnnhles stockings 10 be darned on a
sewing machine,
Rockingham post-dispatch. [volume] (Rockingham, N.C.) 1917-1965, 1920-04-15
Divergent Opinion.

Divergent OPINION.
Mems difference brings complaining
That frets us more and more.
What one calls entertaining,
Another calls bore.
Rockingham post-dispatch. [volume] (Rockingham, N.C.) 1917-1965, 1920-04-15
In the Past Tense.

"When I die" said the wife, IT want
you to have this sentence placed on my
monument: There is peace and quiet
in heaven"
II think" rejoined the husband, ut
would be more appropriate to say:
There was peace and quiet in
heaven"
Rockingham post-dispatch. [volume] (Rockingham, N.C.) 1917-1965, 1920-04-15
SUPPLYING Hia Need.

"Youse kin see dat I'm very mulch
in need, ma'am," said the husky hobo.
kin youse assist me?"
Certainly" answered the kind lady,
as she handed him a cake of soap.
Here is what you need"
Rockingham post-dispatch. [volume] (Rockingham, N.C.) 1917-1965, 1920-04-15
Odious Comparison.

81 thought the modern styles in wom-
ems clothes were ridiculous"
"But you've changed your opinion"
eyes. I've just been looking over
some photographs of fashion queens
taken so years ago."
Rockingham post-dispatch. [volume] (Rockingham, N.C.) 1917-1965, 1920-04-15

The Police Captain Ito witness)-
Why didn't you go to the help of the
prisoner in the fight?
Witness-At that stage of the game
I didn't know which Of them was 60
ing to be the prisoner.
Rockingham post-dispatch. [volume] (Rockingham, N.C.) 1917-1965, 1920-04-15
Cut OF From the World.

"Asphodelia Twobble says she Is
thinking of writing book"
"She must be serious, too"
"Well Wellw
"In order to concentrate her mind on
a plot, she positively refuses to answer
more than fourteen or fifteen telephone
calls day."
Rockingham post-dispatch. [volume] (Rockingham, N.C.) 1917-1965, 1920-04-15
Wise Old Chan.

Fred-That rich old uncle Of mine
is human sensitive plant.
JOe-Why, hOw's that?
Fred-When / attempt to touch him
he Immediately closes up.
Rockingham post-dispatch. [volume] (Rockingham, N.C.) 1917-1965, 1920-04-15
Why He Lost Out.

Why He Lost Out.
Darling" he said after the manner
of the love-sick kind, "your many
charms intoxleate me-"
"That settles it." replied the more
sensible than sentimental maid. II can
never marry YOU"
"Why not, dearest? he asked.
Because" she replied, "if what you
say is true, you would be polluted all
the time"
Rockingham post-dispatch. [volume] (Rockingham, N.C.) 1917-1965, 1920-04-15
Real Dancer.

She-Do you really believe that kiss
ing is dangerous? W I
He--Well-er-I believe it some
times results in breach of promise
suit.
Rockingham post-dispatch. [volume] (Rockingham, N.C.) 1917-1965, 1920-04-15
Thought He Meant Sweet.

Bridegroom want rooms for my.
self and wife. s.. n
). Hotel Clefk-Yes, sir. Suite2
Observation-Disclosures girl I ever
knew.