The Washington times., 1920-12-05

it's and saints need put store upon
subduing the flesh, and that they thus
become useless.
RAILS AT "sINGLE STANDARD
strange philosophy and calculated
To cheer me up. which IL does not at
all. am to believe that "a man can
only be man when he remains
man with mans passions So that he
will not fight in this beyond his
strength. I heard IL all and doubt II
all IL seems that men have a million
defenders. Hut women-they look out
for themseIves--when they know
enough 10 do Il. And they're tire
some when their defense IN too strong.
and they're smashed when their de
Tense In weak.
1T was almost too much OF the
lecturer to admit that even those
men who must give vent to their pas
sion should never sully the wrong
thing. II must have been an after
thought.
Sept. 25.--"Another day which
means nothing to me. ] am a living
atom of misery for what? For MOTH
ing. One may see a star and long to
draw near 1t. though one knows II is
always beyond reach. unattainable.
There is no logical way to reasoning
upon anything which is based orig
inally upon Irresistible impulse.
made no effort To belittle my risk. |
assumed 1t. The worst has resulted.
So perhaps | am to blame.
ABANDONs ALL FOR LOVE.
did not follow the course which
intelligence directed. and now | suf-
fer for it. | have Intelligence. but.
0..
1 determined, aEninst all the advice
which one gets from reading Of the
plights Of others, that ! would 20 ON
and try TO win happiness by re-
ceipt which has always spelled fail
ure. My case. and, In no excep-
tian.
November l3-"Children came in on
train TO see me. Did little shopping
for them. They are so sweet and
good and / love them profoundly.
II grieves me To think of leaving
them to go to California. Baby Jack
is my wonderful dream baby
PLANS BADY's FUTURE.
"Oh, that might have him as /
long TO my very own-but again fate
is unkind to me. If. when BABY
Jack is big enough to realize the
life has ended-and can help to
make of him a fine man-then ! will
not have lived in vain. l will make
him that most wonderful thing-a
man with Kindness in his heart.
"To bed early. lonely. sick and un-
happy.
November 14-Got up with full
int ention of going to church. but felt
too bad and nervous. The Colonel"
neglected me dreadfully. He chased
around all over town to amuse him
self, but seemed to forget was alone
and lonely, aside from being really
sick. l am miserably unhappy.
Spent most of my time walking
the floor, hoping against hope that
he will soon come to give me little
of his time-and PERHAPS little
comfort and cheer. Late in the eve
ming he comes to announce that he Is
going TO a big duck dinner, where he
gets awfully drunk. He is all that
my Jack will not be.
"HEART JUST HURT"
November 15-Has been brisk
winter day-clcar, but cold. Got
awake real early. Had time to think,
could not stop. Heart just hurt. I
walked and wondered at my patience
All my disgust. fear, and hate is kent
within myself. l cannot speak. Just
go on and on and on. Where? How
helpless-how sickencd am. Through
the whole night was wakeful.
Colonel i'll. How well I know the
truth of that saying: you can't get
away with 1t, can't"
Another instalmpnt of this remark.
able soul diary will appear in The
Washington Times tomorrow along
with news Of the latest developments
In the HamOn murder ease.