Arizona republican., 1920-04-12

if Will Crocker had not fed me those i California ripe olives Said the spirit of Josephus Daniels: T am being punished for my Sims" The spirit of Vice President Marshall observed: What the democratic party
 needs is a fool killer. Then the few Of
 us left can form a new party. l Frank Hitchcock's spirit told the delegates: Tt pays to advertise. I put
 an ad in the papers, reading as follows 1 Situation wanted as political manager 1 for some candidate. Terms: Florida i delegates on delivery. Fast color guar
 anteed.' Now look at the job I got | The spirit of Robert Lansing sol- | emnly said: May I not suggest 10 you, my dear Colby, that it would be
 the part of wisdom and discretion to
 move your office to the ground floor. | It is much safer. Cordially and sim i cerely yours.'
 l The spirit of Secretary Baker sent 1 this message: .It's all very well to | insist on your love, but why didn't you 1 kick me upstairs into Lansing's job?'' | From the spirit of Henry White came l this: ''Ah. The Peace Conference. I loved it. It was there I was cured of insomnia"
 There was a musical interlude, also | political, in which Senator Harding, Attorney General Palmer, Herbert Hoover, General Leonard Wood, Gov ernor Lowden and William J. Bryan 1 all found themselves caricatured. MT. 1 Palmer was asked:
 ''Were you candidate for senator against Penrose and Pinchot in 1914? q decline to answer he said, and plead the statute of limitations" Enter the Dark Horses Governor Lowden, who admitted that I,o rx-itt ffea Nir-cyfT isa delegates, sang Carry Me Back to Old Firginny.'
 Nearly all of the candidates sang
 their claims to sit in the White House, after which President Jermane an- nounced:
 ''After looking this bunch over the chair announces the convention is not yet ready to vote. There are some dark horses down in the pasture which we wish to inspect before taking deci- sive action"
 The political status of the peace treaty also was considered. Three chefs in full regalia appeared in the center of the hall and proceeded to concoct a
 peace pudding, which they promised
 would be the last word in artistic per
 lection.
 The pudding, it appeared, was
 planned to have 14 points of perfec-
 
 found necessary to eliminate a number of the points. The trio of chefs la
 bored diligently explaining the ingred- tents as they mixed. The pudding finally was covered with an icing ap- proved by 49 members of the senate.
 but not sooner had the icing settled into place when the pudding exploded with a loud report, scattering the contents all over the chefs.
 Now we can't even pocket it. ob- served one of them sadly.
 At one point the convention was in terrupted by the invasion of a gor geously dressed woman, who demanded in loud tones to be shown to a seat The woman declared that she had been elected a member and that, if nee esSary. she would throw a man out in order to get a place at the table.
 "If the women don't get self deter mination,'' she said, "there'll be male extermination.'
 When finally informed that it was iron dinner she promptly removed her skirts, to the threatened scandal of the convention and it was discovered that the "woman" was a newly elected member of the club.
 There were speeches by Secretary Colby, Speaker Gillctt, Prince Casinir Lubowski, the Polish minister; Colonel George Harvey, General Pershfng and
 Governor Morrow. Reporters. how ever are never present at Gridiron club dinners so the speeches were not reported.