davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New-York tribune., 1920-01-04

sistency. Bad luck In one round might
easily upset any golfer, but this is all
part Of the game.
The Best System
There is no way to eliminate the
fortunes Of the draw and the breaks
in luck at match play, but the Ameri-
can system of 36 holes for test
comes nearer to the solution than any
thing else.
Since match play will always con-
troll an amateur championship, there
Is no improvement in sight beyond
the method adopted by the U. S. G.
A. something like decade ago.
In the way Of match and medal
play, most golfers dread the latter
test. They would rather play against
one man. day by day, than to play
against the entire field.
Among the amateurs, in recent years,
Travers was the best of the match
players; Evans the king IF the medal
players and Ouimet the best man at
facing the combination. Yet the COM
plete proof that all three were high
ranking champions is to be found in
the fact that all three won both medal
and match play championships.
New-York tribune., 1920-01-04
Gales Of SI99
&. @aYyside side q Zee &c.
tcopyrishs. 1920. Nov York Tribune Inc,

Great Britain has been considering
her amateur championship golf prob
lem for some time.
The idea has been to abolish luck
as much as possible, but no one can
ever do this in any championship.
The American championship system,
calling for SO holes qualifying round
and SO holes at match play, is a much
fairer test than the old British system
Of l8 holes at match play, but even
the American system will never be able
to prevent series Of upsets.
1t is much better to have the amateur
championship decided at match play,
yet the only way to eliminate most
Of the breaks of luck is at medal play
over the 72-hole route.
New-York tribune., 1920-01-04
Sudden Turns

In 1909 Bob Gardner won the anna
teur championship. In 1910, through
bad break in luck, he even failed to
qualify.
In 1913 Travers came within half
breath Of not qualifying at all. Yet
he won the championship.
At Pittsburgh last August, Oswald
Kirkby failed to qualify. Yet, a short
while later, in the Lesley Cup matches
he beat Dave Heron, the champion
5 and A.
Ouimet turned in 73 and a 7s
against Chick Evans. Against Woody
Platt he turned in two rounds above
s5.
IN 1915, at Detroit, Travers, with
an 80 and 81. won his first match by
the margin of IA and 13.
That same day, Evans, with a Il
and an approximate 70, was beaten
and s.
New-York tribune., 1920-01-04

n Ou< OF the tennis players who will compete in the annual
indoor tournament the Heights Casino Brooklyn vhh
s.a'es on Monday Mrs Franklin Mallory Lyle Mahan
are expected to make hard fights for the honors 0
New-York tribune., 1920-01-04
NOW LISTEN QUIETLY!

YOU don't need
H. to be hi, ovor
the head before
you'll see . new
tdea.
You don't need -
bo assaulted and
battered into 4
grin Of approval.
You like to smile
At living. You
havo 4 taste for
Art and Drama and
Letters.
You're keen for
sports and motors.
You're a good
working model Of
q citise.n with
leisure Interest,".
Aren't ysuf
New-York tribune., 1920-01-04

Then Vanity Fair
IL made for you
and your kind.
Vanity Fair be-
lieves that il il
better to be gay
and gracious than
sad and sullen.
That Lillian Lor.
raine is just ~
interesting as AL
sacc-Lorraine, any
day.
That Golf 10 % i'm
portant as Lloyd
George.
That . new syN
nhnuv "a fop xmnyA
The Washington times., 1920-11-27
Spooning, Flirting and Mashing---
Are They Decreasing?
By BILL PRICE

Some of the officials of the local W. &. T. L. started
ampaign this summer against spooning in public places
parks automobiles and elsewhere. 1t declared to be a
rowing evil, which law unable to cope WITH Educa-
to demonstrate the mproprieties and pitfalls
sorted to. No statistics available the result
Then became stirred ''mashng' and flirting,
to etxen If not the police authorities should continue
their efforts to severely punish those male mashers who
force their unwecome presence and insulting remarks upon
good entitled to walk the streets free from such
barrassmens
The Government employs many thousands Of girl
workers that the population of Washington is overwhem
ngy female scarcity of male escorts makes it necessary
that young should often upon the streets in the
early evening without the male protection they much de-
sire To be ogled and then nsungy approached by curb
lizards is not to be tolerated in community which uphods
high ideals of morality.
OF course silly girls partly to blame for this
dOn of affairs They fail to realize the seriousness of
ceptng the attentions of under these informal cond
tons and respond to ratous methods That's not true
to the of this town whole. Those who do
understand this must be made to and feel the truth
Strong arm young men, with for clean
hood heretofore suggested might improve matters if
they could do without police interference but in
cities this plan did not work WELL
The vamp the hirt, the 'mashor' will be plentiful in
spite of all laws, and youths advenuresOne will
for thousands of When these happen to
step decency and public order though they and must
be stopped through cooperation of the police pucky resent
ment the part of young and dsapprova physical
otherwise, the part of true men,
The Washington times., 1920-11-27
Pet Cats Instead of Dogs.

PARIS Nov c3.--C'ats have ous,ed dogs III tho
affections Of French women. whereas In tho
past IL was considered fashionable for q
parisicnne to promenade with n dog dressed In
q neat tght-fttinE coat today this Thrisienne
Is out of date if she does not take with her n
eat often Of priceless value. But cats do not
wear coats. They wear specially httcd and
made hats
Below the Sacre Occur, up at Montmartre,
there lives a halter In his shop window he has
on exhibition the tniest hats ever seen In France
At any hour Of the day cars roll IN outside the
shop and madame, carrying her net cat under
her arm, walks inside the shop and engages in
an earnest conversation with the halter She
has come to have hcr pet angors tried for n
hat She prefers n bowler shaped ha' as a change
to the soft. slouch hat. She also wants to pur-
chase a small top hat for her pet for evening
wear Tho hnttcr's rrcommc ndatiOns Of a soft
velvet hat fan on deaf cars. The halter says
bowler hats A. tho cats better thar any ethsr
and has lArEa ordArs hAaA
The Washington times., 1920-11-27
By Patience and Ability Itaiy
Has Won Her Point

Italy has her controversy concerning her eastern
border
By all the rules which governed the settlements of the
Peace Conference Italy entitled Immediately to the
eastern frontier which she claimed If it was right for
England and France to receive what they received
under the secret treaties right for Italy to receive
all she claimed under the treaties.
But these secret treaties existed in bad faith with the
United States and the agreements under them en-
trely inconsistent with the basis Of the armistce
When President Wilson, by long series Of aposasies
to his ideals and principles and to the promises of the
armstce had yielded everything that England demanded
the spos of and everything that France demanded
when the demand backed up by England, he found
himself faced by dsiusoned amazed and angry world of
liberals and apparently he felt it necessary to make some
show Of consistency and steadfastness
SO he picked out poor Italy the weakest Of the Entente
Powers and the that England and France were most
ready to betray be the victim Of his grandstand show
of principle He attempted to hold Italy up to his ideals
while letting England and France amuck with the old
standards.
1t was grossly unfair to Italy and the italian people
resented It. But tho Italian government the most In.
tellgent in Europe, bided its time, knowing that when
thieves fall out honest mon get their due.
In this case patience has been well rewarded, for
without swashbucking without rafting the saber without
bloodshsd Italy has hlsodle@ victory the prize of
MsdautiN a.a 0psA SA
The Washington times., 1920-11-27

Rats may desert sinking boat. but there are
deserters among the rodents on the Leviathan
At the latest rat census there were 100000 OF
the livery stable pets board and two outlying
cabins to be heard from.
They threw a cat into the rat convention last
week and the lonG-tailed birds Chewed him up
like minnows swapping at wet bread The laSi
heard Of Mr.. Cat, the rats were picking their
teeth with his claws.
Then they tried a bull dog and they didn't
leave enough of him to throw a shadow.
They tried putting cyanide Of potassium on
meat. and every rat gained weight like a fat lazy
two diets
They put bear traps in. and the rats used tn"
steel edges for nail clippers.
About 1000 ferrets were thrown on board.
The rats are using those 1000 ferrets TOR
Wallets.
Poison gas did no good because the rats
thought II was hair tonic. They complained be
cause the waiter stayed away So long when the
Government tried liquid fre on EN-. one rat sold
his place In line to "A speculator.
They kicked army mule TO death. thought
broken glass was breakfast food. and finally
chewed "A ffty-ton anchor right down 10 watch
charm.
There are two kinds of rats on board Riding
and Driving Anybody who has saddle can get
n nice trottinE rat for Jaunts through central
Park. The shipping Board viii give you EN- iree
and won't charge you for their education.
II you have a mnn-eating lion at home, one
of the Leviathsn rats will make him mic" little
playmate for rainy days.
won't cost you much to keep 'enn they wifi
eat anything.
The Washington times., 1920-11-27
lI's11EARla lanSfErffS}7

4 WASHINGTON WALT MASON
Our friend Walt Mason, the prairie
poet, has real competition in this
lever contribution by Miss BETTE
'URKE, II and S fan, concerning
20 daily Suffocation of Washington
eople on the street railways Of the
ity:
all over town, the people to car lines
are hurrying down. Their tokens are
clutched in gloved hands with great
care. in the hope that a street car
soon my be th"-'. They stand at the
ear stol9 shiv' % with cold, watch
ing and wsitins The same as OF old
they all cry. and start eagerly forward
the car passes by! This happens but
nine times. or possibly ten. when
then. Let em out! Right in. please!
Have your fares ready there" You
stand on the step with one foot In the
air. The car turns a corner. you're
topping So you bring your heel down
on g fat gentleman's toe. o, pardon
you murmur and blush bright red,
~hep someone's sharp elbow strikes
you5on the head Back in that rear
alsiS.' they're now back so far moving
further : prevented BY the end Of the
car Will you let me out please
I'l try you reply, when a long, curly
feather stsbs you in 'nc eye. says q
soldier beside you: I can now un-
derstand why war heId no terrors for
Washington man The door each
time it's opened admits chilly breeze.
and Just rs you get warm again, your
neighbor starts to sneeZe. You try 20
turn your head away from his muffed
'KERCHEW.' and then and there make
up your mind you'll surely get the
'hu' Just here the car is hung up for
a quarter OF an hour. 'Youll hav tuh
wait the motorman says, there isn't
any power Finally IL starts again. and
much to your delight. you note that
in the disturbance. your oftC" is ~
sight. You re-Ch your destination. tn"
service certainly is great You've ar
rived ~ the office but one hour late.
The Washington times., 1920-11-27
Registered u. S. Patent Office
BY K. G. B.

DEAR K.C.B. HE'LL STRANGLE
himself.
... on THE end of the
ABOUT A dog. chain.
CHAINED TO dog HE 1850 glad
But NO one cares.
WHO BELONGS to
BACK OF store him.
on roRrY.ElcHTH AND TONIGHT he's
WHERE ONCE on a IN ALL the rain.
AND ALL the cold.
THERE WAS a saloon.
AND ONCE in a while.
WHERE FRIEND hus- ,uy,p ,,-, MOAN
band. ~ Nh" o""'
avn OTHER mon AND TN wondering.
n, rur If I'll ever look out.
vow, 20 AND FIND him there.
At THE end Of his
AND Buy a drink. chain
But MIR. volstead. WITH HIS dog life
CLOSED THE place.
Avn Now ,-,,, AND So, n. I. b'
band. w I'M SENDING two
COMES HOME to me.
AND SAYS: Hello fund.
Sweetie'
s,r FROM "rooLIsH."
same. FOR I'm very sure
WHICH MAKES me HE'D LIKE to help.
wonder.
nrr ANYWAY. r ru,r :,;' =, ,:.'',~,. a'"p,
THERE'S THE poor morn.
old dog
I MAY whistle down.
AND WE call him .
Foolish" TO "FOOLISH' and
say.
BECAUSE EVERY -.
time. HELLO, OLD sport
WE LOOK his way YOUR ,5 LITTLE old
HE DOES the .
"shimmy" MADE kddie smile
AND SHAKES so hard. "oN CHRISTMAS
WE sosHTIMEs fear.
The Washington times., 1920-11-27
INTERESTING ErITArus

T. CLARENCE TRUNDLE. 90
ing hack into history. finds some
genuine epitaphs that arc hiStori-
cally interesting For instance
this. in an English graveyard:
"liarc lie 7. by wife and daughters
Dicd ~ driuiing Cheitarhsrn waters
lG We hal stuck ~ Ep-on sslte
We wouldn't be lying IN those hero vaJI;s
And
Deacon tiacketts wife died. Sre
was long. thin and shrewish The
deacon arranged TO have n slender
monument placed over her tomb. ana
gave the stonecuttcr this inscription
"EkCHEI. SACkETT
LORD, SHE WAS TUNE
The stouecuttcr ra,lrl tn cpl,u'n'.
the length Of III" inscription. aud toe,
frugal deacon refused to FURNISH TIC
fundS To- correct the error. aud thers
the ,lab stands, with an insCriptios
as r1lluws'
RACHAEL SACkETr.
L~aRn. Ar VA SA1A"
The Washington times., 1920-11-27
THAT EGG PROBLEM.

The answer of the majority OF the
maths to the egg problem Of y. l.. :.
is that the lady had 301 eggs in hoy
basket That is correct The an.
swers ar" from VI. s. II. T.. n. CATH
ERNIE D.. a. Il. HAMILTON. a nut,
j. W. G., DERBY, J. ELLIS GRAY,
IL years of age; "BlNOMICAL." W.
II. NJ, 4. !. BuCHELER. l.. J. D.,
IL. Is. ROSSElL. J. G. j.. Of Alexan-
dria, Va, ALICE GARRISON. Silver
Spring, Md. l.. r. r.. and many 9TH
ere.
The Washington times., 1920-11-27
. NAN ron rHE EMERGENCY.

He--"An the lights In tho theater
suddcnly went out and the ladies'
would have prccipltateh panic but
for n thoughtful usher"
She-Did he tell them TO Keep thcir
seats"
Uc 40. He began to KISS the
hack of his hand very loudly"
". ". H.
The Washington times., 1920-11-27
Beatrice Fairfax
Advice.
HIS ACTIONS ARE PUZZLING.
ON
Advice.

DEAR MISS FAIRFAN:
am "A young girl sixteen years old and go to
Central High. Last ear ! met boy who went
to Central. when I irst met him fell in love
with him, but he did not anything for me.
school closed and we did not see each other for a
couple of weeks One day ] him on the
street and he spoke to me and accompanied me
home and for about month or so afterward he
was around at my house every night.
When school opened again he moved in an
High. For while after school had opened he
me up almost every day, but now he hasn't teen
around for the last few weeks, or even called me
UP. have called him up twice in this time. and
each time 7 call he tells me he Is so busy at
school he never has time to call on me or call
me up but | know all of this is not true. Miss
Fairfax. I love this hoy as n friend and pal,
and he seems a lot for me, but cant
understand his actions. Please advise me as to
how I get him back. MARIA.
II YOU were sufficiently Interested in your
studies, az It would appear the young man is you
would not have much time to think about him
and you could not possibly have the time to sec
him every night. A siyteenyear choolgirl should
be in bed every school night at Q o'clock.
A good way to lose tho young mans friend
ship is to continue calling him up. Let him call
you. And, in the meantime. make friends with
other boys and girls and enjoy their compani On
ship.
sixteen In too young to be thinking bout fall
Ing In love, or to be talking about It, either.
When you twenty-six. you no doubt. will
wonder II you know what love Is at that age.
The Washington times., 1920-11-27
Things in General
Everything now is on big scale.

Everything now 10 on Dig ScaIe we once
talked of millions in respectful tones Now it is billions
and the tron has been used officially
in connection with American dollars.
Once for Jesse James, Billy Porter. bank robber
TO steal fifty thousand dollars in act Of brgand
age amazing Now comes the train robbery that col
lects more than one million in actual cash
Observe this Ten thousand solemn owls will say
truly that the highwaymen will not really enjoy their loot
they stay out of jail But the really big highway
of the country gentlemen that stole the aircraft money
and the Shipping Board money do enjoy their loot
THOROUGHLY. They remain respectable. How to make
dishonesty big scale disreputable and dangerous for
The guilty is an American problem.
Part of the radiant League of Nations dream,
faded "iron-cl agreement binding England
and the United States at any time join with France in
fighting Germany if Germany should again erupt.
The United States is out of the League of Nations
done with all those pretty plans for making this country
international angel policeman and paymaster And
England says calmly if the United States is of that
agreement about fighting Germany whenever France
wishes it, England is out also"
On the whole that will help to maintain peace If a
nation has two powerful friends fight with him
whenever he decides fight he is apt hesitate much
about fighting But if he knows that he may fight ALONE
he is apt to think, it
Those who want more teaching of religion
suggest that public schools close at each Wednesday
let children devote hour outside the school, religious
instruction The idea is all right for those that feel the
need of it, provided attempt is made introduce
igious teaching within the schools
School hours for young children too long now
They regulated by the desire of overworked parents
be relieved of the chidrens for many hours as
possible
Let the children that need religious teaching de-
hour to from two three Wednesdays and on
every other school day. for that matter and let the other
children devote that hour to play, in the school grounds
out.
A colored witness in Haiti, speaking of a
certain Marine accused Of shooting good many natives
described that Marine Every young of blonde hair and
very beautiful" The Marine, who wept becomingly said
he didn't kill many Haitians, he only killed one shooting
from his front porch II got machine gun, firing squirt
of bullets and killing instantly
The Marine seems to have been capable of quick de-
cision, well as being very beautiful.
His killing, combined with few thousand others in
Haiti should make the United States popular toward the
Equator and insure for Mr. Colby very fine welcome
on his trip.
| DE- n-ks1--o
The Washington times., 1920-11-27
e. LITTLE AFTER Two.-

what time was II when the 'rnfe
Mr.. Adam Little started after MS
eIopinc daughter and her lover
according to H. SMITH. the author
OF the question. " was "A Lite
after two" This answer If given by
N, II. ROSSELt, "HOMO." 4 ". HAM
lLTON. Sk EEKE, and others.
f.. X. u. and DERBY say One after
two" which 10 true. " wALrER
susosstA "a 49, -.
The Washington times., 1920-11-27
THE TURNER'S LAMENT

The turkey hcaved mournful s'Gh
And rurnured ~ cannot see why
when humans wish TO celebrate
IFS me they choose TO Nil the p'a'"
III escape Thanksgiving liaS.
why then | hnd. to my dismal
I'm only left to gain more w"iEti
For Christmas or the New year tcIe
that's why I'm blue as hlue can DC E,
Cause everybody picks on me
The Washington times., 1920-11-27
Dear Friend Bill:

Dear Friend Bill:
I'm still laughing AT inc cieNer
carton OF "Goldie' and the taker,
especially as ! dont traVel WIN
o.Lers merely admire their
Co shion-plate appearance from afar-
- cbesper. And as to "Wilt thou
me mine" will say. I've already
wilted, so lot my clever friends keep
nm the good work they can't Kid
me: I'm non nkid-able COLLIDE.
The Washington times., 1920-11-27
A CAUTIOUS COMPLIMENT.

A Heard and Seen fan forwards
this from the HarrodsburG, KY,
Herald, which had clipped it from
the Stanford Journal as evidence Of
extreme caution in compliments:
Mrs. Cooper. an aged lady liV
ing near the depot, died Sunday
and was buried by the odd Eel
lows here OF Monday. She was
said to have been an excellent
woman by her neiEhbors. but they
had not resided here very long,
having come from Harrodsburg
here
John william Bunk. was shortstop punk.
Who played with the Bullet Shoppers
On hits hc was shy--sn unlucky guy
Bat his striksouts sure were whoppers
With bat or with wing. he'd do the wrong
thing
The fans roasted him into disgrace:
He once hit they say, Tnto a swift double
play
When not darn soul was on base
SILlCUS
The Washington times., 1920-11-27

] still maintain that spectacles
are a great protection to girls
against linen firis. But II lady
has those come hither" eyes and
chooses to exert them. nothing
Will protect her, not even the
anti-flirt cops. II. NJ. IL
The Washington times., 1920-11-27
Some OF the girls are wear

. Some OF the girls are wear
ing knitted hose because they
haven't anything TO show but
brcomsticks, while the roll-top
girls have something on the
others in shape. -
BLONDE and BRUNETTE.
The Washington times., 1920-11-27

MILO H.. as an excuse for not
writing in the next few days. says he
got hold OF a keg Of hard cider and
that he must finish up the balance Of
a twelve pound turkey. Then he
rhymes:
when YOU wake M N the morning and
YOU feel oil in.
Your stomach fccliu' funny an your
mouth tastes bad
You'll know right away that ~ was Mt
caused by GIN
ia the darncd old turkey thai vour
landlady had
The Washington times., 1920-11-27
HE'S rERslsTENT.

DEAR MISS FAIRFAX,
There is a young man vino has asked me to he
his wife I like him very much. but not enough
to marry him. | have told him that, but he is
quite persistent Please tell me what to do
TINY
1f you mean what you say stop seeing him, 4,
don't answer any letters which he might write
you. The young man vill then know that yeu
mAAA uEhaf you aAr-
The Washington times., 1920-11-27

VIII some of the educated nuts
lease tell me when good au-
hors abandoned II have wrote?
| note that il was constantly
Ised by the best authors OF the
Revolutionary period?
II NJ. II.
The Washington times., 1920-11-27
IsE BrEAKs ENGAGEMENTS.

DEAR MISS FAIRFAN!
am u girl eighteen years old, and young
man has been calling mo four years. He Is in
his twenty-hrst year and his wages are s2t per
week lie has mentioned marriage. lie has
broken several engagements with me, and
each occasion he calls me up and says he il
going to see his boy friend. What would you
adviser JEAN II.
can scarcely believe this boy started calling
you when you were fourteen, unless he was a
magpie playmate. In which case believe you
overestimate his attentions.
At any rate hope he is not the onty caller
you have at eighteen. The next time he wants
to come to you have engagement yourself
In fact. have one for several times And then
what happens.
The Washington times., 1920-11-27

The attention Of H and S bimboes
is called TO the gorillas infesting the
Manhattan bowling alleys.
ADEC
The Washington times., 1920-11-27
BUN BOYS. THESE

What IS your upiripn Of two bnvs
who make dates with two n'"c girl.
and then don't ieop N" appointment
because one Of the guys had to work
that night. Tho thought II would h.
perfectly all right to leave the roor
girls on the corner waiting whole
hour TIL" other guy could have AZ
least met the girls ana explained
The Washington times., 1920-11-27

CWeil, II. this column does NOT
run much to love affairs. but those
were bum boys. Any boy who will
allow girl to stand on a street cor
nor without getting her word some
way cant think much Of her. street
corners are not very good places for
nice girls to meet boys, cither1
The Washington times., 1920-11-27

John WEIGH by curiosity was goaaed
He spuirt"d in n shotgun 20 see II II wss
loaded. g Y
The Washington times., 1920-11-27
Mr.. B. Baer
oh Rats.

Rats may desert sinking boat. but there are
no deserters among the rodents on the Leviathan
At the latest rat census there were 100000 OF
the livery stable pets board and two outlying
cabins to be heard from.
The Washington times., 1920-11-27

II you have a mnn-eating lion ut home one
of the Leviathan rats will make him nice little
nlaymate for rainy DAYS.
The Washington times., 1920-11-27

won't cost you much TO keep 'enn ss they viii
eat anything.
The Washington times., 1920-11-27

Then they tried a bull dog, and they dIdn
leave enough of him to throw shadow.
Norwich bulletin., 1920-04-23

Any woman can pass an old admirer WiShaut l0okjng back zdf she is-blind.