Atlanta tri-weekly journal. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1920-19??, 1920-07-29
Mrs. Solomon Says:
BY HELEN ROWLAND
Being The Confessions of the
Seven Hundredth Wife
(Copy1 light, 1920, by The Wheeler Syndi-
N NJ DAUGHTER, there is a
MI place where all the BORES
! VI of the world are gathered to-
pathart

Lo, it is the Summer Resort, the
Kingdom Of ennui and bluff-the
Land of SKINNED milk and artificial
honey!
Behold, there wilt thou find the
pests and the poseurs, alike.
There wilt thou find the Profess
sional Optimist, in all his glory.
He goeth about wearing a mad
dening smile and a Pollyanna ex-
preston. He seeketh to scatter
sweetness and light in dim romantic
corners, where darkness and soli-
tude are preferred. He interrupteth
the piazza repartee with platitudes,
and breaketh into the filtration, with
sermOnettes- on cheer"
He saith: Its a beautiful world"
He is as welcome as a pet mos
quito.
There wilt thou find the Amateur
HumoTist.
Lo, he "ducketh" the timid ladies
ankles of the fearful damsels be-
meath the waves. He putteth sand
in the shoes of the un%ary, and
|. splattereth the handmade complex
ion of the hotel beauty.
Year, he is so funny.
There wilt thou meet the self-ap-
POAllCSo SOS1CIy DpOIlSO1'
She draggeth the seeker of soli-
tude from his lair, and introduceth
EVERYBODY unto everybody else"
She presenteth the damsel to her last
years discard and the divorce
unto her ex-husband, without mercy.
She is exceeding KIND!
There wilt thou find the woman
Tamer"-even the newer of hearts
and drawer of glances, who poseth
in CT m iy1cr hi 70
flannels and a bored expression.
He chatteth idly of his "yawt' and
his mota-chair." He stitch afar
and "sizeth up" the damsels, and
permitteth the prettiest Of these to
LOVE him.
He is SO irresistible.
There wilt thou encounter the
Human Newspaper.
She ariseth at dawn, and peepeth
around corners, that she may miss
nothing. She spreadeth the scandals
free of charge. She keepeth tabs
upon the goings and comings and
flirtings of the damsels, and ap-
praiseth the matron's diamonds. The
coo1nSs of the newlyweds, and the
quarrels of the long married do not
escape her.
She Is so efficient.
There wilt thou meet the Willy
Summer Widow, who snitcheth the
most attractive man, and bearing
him off in triumph.
And the dinfng-room pest who
monopolizeth all the walters, and de-
mandeth the best table, near the
gee ocean 1no window. and the best cut of
And the "Angel Child" who filleth
the air with howlings, and covereth
the piazza chairs with sickness; and
the pet arm-hound, that barketh and
yippeth throughout the night, and
the quartet of Cay Bachelors" who
torment the ears with motor horns
and the nostrils with gasoline, and
fill the nights with laughter and
song and poker-parties!
Verify, verify, the summer resort
IS place where man will resort
to anything for amusement, damsel
Will resort to anything for atten-
ton, and sane human being would
cheerfully resort to murder!
Where woman spendeth half her
days making herself alluring-and
the other half in searching for
something to lure"
Where the moon shineth upon the
beach, inviting lovers to bask in its
radiance and there is no one to
LOVE!
Where the ozone induceth sleeu
and the jewellers drive it away!
Where there is no peace, no rest,
and no escape from BOREDOM!
Yet, each year, do we forget the
torments and the horrors of the year
pe1ore, and grid up our loins and our
Wardrope-trunks for another season
of "recreation!"