Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-04-13
TEA AT THREE.


Ever go to afternoon teas9 We do.
81 least we did 1t was an orange
pekoe, Il we remember-so-called in
honor Of those who slip on the peel.
Il started in a small apartment and
centered about a rather small and
bilious lion. and we ourselves, OF
course, were rather small potatoes,
more or less mashed in a large
| crowd.
Unless one has the tea habit ono
gets rather nervous at these affairs.
| It's little like the dreams in which
you find yourself strolling. down
| Main street in one of those dfash-
| toned side-split nlghtgowns. One is
never quite sure his personality is
properly draped. We dressed care
| fully, OF course, n our morning coat
! (Which we wear only in the after
uoon), leaving off no essential gar
ment we could think of at the mo-
ment. Nevertheless we were bit
nervous.
| Especially when we found our
| selves wedEed in between a gate-leS-
sed table ard long. abstract sort OF
a lady in an embroidered gunny-
sack who asked us what we thought
Of John Drinkwater. We said we
we're opposed to the Anti Saloon
League altogether and preferred John
Barleycorn. 1t did not seem to be
the right answer. SO in order to
blow our nose and thus i'll the gap
In the conversation we reached up to
our left hand breast pocket for our
handkerchief. Our hand clutched
something hard and cylindrical
then relaxed clammily.
Leaning cautiously over the edge
OF our morning coat We saw that
some one, we can not ina CINE who.
had firmly fixed q large, prominent,
fligreed fountain pen in our pocket
by one Of those idiotlc metal clips
We were at once conscious that ev-
cry one in the room WAS staring at 1t.
The rest Of our discourse with Tire
long lady was lost in efforts to re-
move that pen without calling in a
surgeon or wrecking crew. We had
no handkerchief but we made q sort
OF flourish as tho we did have and
then pretended to drop 1t. It was
our intention In leaning over to pick
II up, to pry the pen loose and snug
gle 1t into our hip pocket with the
other self filler. But In bending down
what was our horror to discover that
we had failed to remove our rubbers
Aghast, we Strengthened up, ex-
posing the cursed pen once more,
and feebly tried to scuff the rubbers
ner M he $aA w
succeeded In getting our feet tangled
up In the table legs. The long lady
i.a.i already t1:e1 o:- >->=c::ce, e..
our struggles were interrupted by
babbling sub-deb who deftly extract
ed us from the table and carried VI
right off, pen. rubbers and all, to our
hostess.
As we bowed with . concealing
hand over the pen, we ,dimly heard
her ask something about lemon or
cream and replied, Yes, please-and
Ia little ink" A faint doubt seemed
to cloud the fxity Of her smile, bat
we treasured her by nonchaiantly
dropping an olive into the steanin8
CUP she passed US. Then, scowling
on all and sundry to express any at
! tempt at rlbald laughter we raised
the tea firmly toward our lips and
promptly spilled 1t all over our rub
bers.
No, we neither bit a piece out of
the cup nor kicked the table over.
Our hostess. with gracious tact, ex-
claimed that 1t was 80 fortunate that
we had wcrn cnr r,Ihhers We reas-
sured her that we always did for Just
such emergencies. But the room had
become very warm and we went
away from there.
The next day our hostess. ever
thoughtful, sent her little boy around
with our hat and overcoat. Neyerthe-
less, we have decided that we do not
care for tea. 1t seems to affect our
nerves. ,s1 "a,
i n the reds Of Germany join the
reds of ssusSs.: :::;s g .o::s;