davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1920-10-26
ANN,s SECRET Is OUT.

Say, Pard: l don't claim to be a
math and never busted into print.
but l am regular readin' nut and j
don't believe in takin's advantage OF
anybody's absence, but ] can't walt
till Bill gets back to say that / wager
mustango COW pony to n sage hen
that Ann Is eight years ole this fall
NAVY YARD OKLA BILL.
The Washington times., 1920-10-26
OUR NEW TITLE.

Say. ,Buddie, hope "Bilrs Spare
Tire" never gets punctured. But II
it's all the same, l prefer to call you
Buddie. w. ID. PAYNE.
II like it," After l fess up to the
boss of the sawmill that I'm doing
this job on overtime, I'm going to try
to meet a few of you good scouts.
BUDDIE.
(Alias Bits Spare Tire.)
The Washington times., 1920-10-26

Dear Sir: 1t is terrible thing to
say Of a young lady twelve years old,
but ! cannot help but feel that Ann is
trying to obfuscate rather than clar-
ify the situation in regard to her age.
Mary is different and must have been
a great comfort to her mother during
the long years of uncalled-for curl
osity as to AIMS age and AIMS at
titude in the matter. +. II. NJ.
Tie makes AIMS age IL; Mary's l6.
The Washington times., 1920-10-26
WE'RE ASKING EN- NOW.

Please ask your gang why it is that
a woman who is slowly strolling
through a department store always
takes the middle OF the aisle. SO that
no one can get by her? l poked one
with my elbow the other day, DELHI
erately. and then said, pardon me.
What do you DO? Mrs. Nj.
The Washington times., 1920-10-26
THE yON'EI.S,

We are Ave little creatures,
All of different voice and features.
One of us in GLASS Is set
one Of us you'll find In JET.
Another you'll seek in TIN,
And the fourth Bon within.
And the NTH, should you pursue,
II will never ny from YOU.
Sent by JAY KAY,
The Washington times., 1920-10-26
OyyCkER'N FLASH.

The fastest young man is CHARLES
". lie put out the light and got into
bed before the room grew dark.
RHENGHENGITE.
The Washington times., 1920-10-26
THE POMPOUs wAMPUs.

POLLY, who tolls in a Government
office, has terra Gotta pet with
these characteristics: Head of a
lamb ears of a mule, horns of a
yearling heifer, neck like girahe
with bronchitis, tail like a pug dog,
hams like a pig, hoofs like COW,
and a grin like a Cheshire cat. 1t is
much sought as a mascot, resulting
in this verse:
This animal looking so pompous
Is what science knows as VAN
pus,"
Experience shows
That rubbing his nose
VIII bring us such luck 1t VIII
swampus.
The Washington times., 1920-10-26
THAT MOUSE AND HALF.

or cat and a half eat a mouse
and a half in an hour and half, how
many mice will cat eat in an hour?
L. II. M
NJ. c. Bone. A. r. Hone and
onc-half w. d. P.-Two-thirds of a
mouse. Take your choice.
The Washington times., 1920-10-26
PROUD MEMORY.

I have Heard and Seen RIT.L
PRICE boys. he gave "a dcmunstra-
tion Of how tho old column was COM
posed, at the Bcrwyn -Branchvills
Carnival.
The Washington times., 1920-10-26
foot! TOOT!

A tutor who footed the hute tried
to tutor tooters TO toot. said the
two to the tutor, rs 1t harder to
foot or to tutor two tooters to toot?'
STELLA.
The Washington times., 1920-10-26
TRAGEDY AND COMEDY.

HAMPDEN'S Shakespeare reminds
T. +. j. of Richard III" perform
ance years ago, When Richard eI-
claimed, MY Kingdom for a horse" a
gallery god called:
Wouldn't an ass do?"
"Sure; hurry aound to tho stags
door," responded the trsgedian.
The Washington times., 1920-10-26
pOO-IIOO.

The saddest moment I'm my twenty
five years came when I observed \
wedding ring on the finger OF the
best looking girl in Washington.
SOUTHERN YANKEE.
The Washington times., 1920-10-26

All that is required to constitute n common
law marriage is that there shall be actual and
mutual agreement TO enter into marital rels.
tisnship. contaminated by living together open
" rs man and wife. Such marriage IL just ~
binding irtAav as any other In most states.
The Washington times., 1920-10-26

Pickcrel is dminutive for pike and is applied
to the smaller species of the pike family and to
the young OF the larger species. 1t Is most
often applied to the banded pckerel, which sell
dom exceeds twelve inches in length. The mus
kelunge Is very large species of pike some
times attaining length OF eight feet. IL is
found in northern fresh waters of North Amer
lea and is famous game fish,
The Washington times., 1920-10-26

OZARK. THE COLONEL con.
sented.
HAVE YOU noticed O..
TO ALLOW his mind
THAT SINCE the time ..
TO RUN along.
OF PRESIDENT Taft ..
IN THE Wilson chan.
WHO BORE tn. mel
initials
THE COLONEL
W. scrapped.
WHICH STAND for BY ''S i'' nief on'et
AND EVER since then.
NV ~ '""' THINGS ABOUT the
CAME WOODROW "n.e mouse
wilson HAVE BEEN all
messed up.
WITH JUST two WIS ..
AND NOW it seems.
ONE FOR each term. ..
WE'RE GOING back.
ON A different, basis.
COMPELLED to go =.
out. FOR IT looks to
AND GET Col House. As THOUGH the man.
TO SUPPLY the de. WE ARE going to
hciency choose.
FOR THE missing III TO SUCCEED Wood
row.
so THAT he could
keep. is WAHHeN Harding
1ue su,p ., State WHICH BEING in.
terpreted.
ON AN even keel IS W H
AND WHEN no longer. WHICH MEANS
-. White House
:::.;,22 rs
1910. ~ IN =H39r
APVOGSansvNS\ NxR
Xws~--nV>'vsos\ W.,
AwS&eNOss.. nm
sSg7NE(UsM
~EkYM
The Washington times., 1920-10-26
THAT ,LIMs,EsT THING.

\ YOUNG LADY ran upstairs and
stepped on her hand.
The Washington times., 1920-10-26

John Mccormack, the Irish tenor, was born at
Athlone Ireland, June II, 1884
The Washington times., 1920-10-26

Spanish war soldiers arc pensioned only 70
disability incurred in service in the line of duty
The Washington times., 1920-10-26
YES.

Rocks In the ocean;
Fishes In the sea.
Reading Heard and Seen" has made
A nut out OF me.
Y. G. I. NJ.
The Washington times., 1920-10-26

The best way to remove any kind OF a stsii
from ivory Is to apply alcohol.
The Washington times., 1920-10-26

Robert Raikc- organized the nrst Sunday
school, in Plyuo nth, England in 1850.
The Washington times., 1920-10-26

According TO Hoylc 1t is obligatory to jun
offers.
The Washington times., 1920-10-26
We TOWNE GOSSIP
k.ri,tsr.d L. 8. Patent Office.
X. G. B.

A gentleman by the name Of Max lasday,
who runs a knit goods and furnishing store at
No. s07 Fifth avenue, Pittsburgh, Pa has been
talking with his ouij board or something and
has figured the election out this way:
DEAR q r THE COLONEL con.
The Washington times., 1920-10-26

Neither Cuba nor Honduras has a nations
our Mann act.
The Washington times., 1920-10-26
Lack of Cars for Coal and
for Wheat

But Car All to Himself For Racehorse Gambling
Machine
The Washington times., 1920-10-26

Printers rollers made by thoroughly
soaking dry fake glue In water, dissolving It
by gentle heat, and mixing it with suitable
amount Of glycerine molssses or both In large
establishments the proportions OF the ingredi-
ents are varied according to the time Of the
year
The Washington times., 1920-10-26

Pipe is galvanized by giving tt q coating OF
zinc. This is accomplished by drawing the pipe
through molten bath OF zinc. Ungalvanized
pipe is commonly known as black pipe.
The Washington times., 1920-10-26

Your column is the best gloom
chaser I know Of X. G. 1.
The Washington times., 1920-10-26

The FIRST news carried by telegraph was
the nomination OF Polk. The line extended from
Washington to Baltimore.
The Washington times., 1920-10-26
Right Answers !,
Disputed Questions

More coffee drunk during the hscal year
ended June 80, 1920, than in any previous
year on record The per capita consumption
was 12.1 pounds. while that of the year before
was 800 pounds.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1920-06-20

b. NJ. WILLIAMS, Dentist
Rooms and 2 whiting Building
Second and Gold. Phone ga.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1920-06-20

j. H. 'Coons, Albuquerque man.
ager of the Mutual Life Insurance
company Of New York, was happy
yesterday over his agency's having
completed, in less than six months,
the quota of full annual premiums
paid new business allotted him for
the year 1920. His field comprises
the states of New Mexico and Ari-
IONA, in which general business
conditions are reported prosperous.
Last year his agency completed its
years quota in August.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1920-06-20

CITY ELECTRIC SHOE SHOP
Phone b67-W, zoe South Second.
Free Call and Delivery
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1920-06-20

The Broadway Central
Grocery is open for business
this morning.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1920-06-20
CENTRY's EGGS

At Champion, Hawkins, San Jose.
Skinner, Ideal and Pappe Stores;
65 cents per dozen.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1920-06-20

DR.. Henry Rolf Brown
has removed his offices to
313h w. Central Ave. Wal
ton studio building. Hours
"a p. m. Sundays and even
ings by appointment. Resi-
dence 62O w. Copper Ave.
IOffice telephone 588-W.
Residence telephone $50.
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1920-04-22
STOMACH TROUBLE and
!: CONSTIPATION ENDED
Suffered So He Couldn't Work for =
year, but Mr.. Mccormick Was
Cured Promptly.

had stomach trouble and constipa.
Sioh Tor nve years. One year Of this time
was unable to work, suffering untold
agony. doctored with some Of the best
physicians, also took many proprietary
medicines, but could not find permanent
relief Finally a friend recommended
Ailks Emulsion The first few doses re-
Heved me greatly, and three bottles of It
enected 3 permanent cure."-C. A Nc
Cormick, Anderson, Ind.
Mr.. Mccormick Is only one OF many
hundreds who have endured torture fos
years and then found that Milks EmuI.
sion gives blessed relief and real, lasting
beneht. 1t costs nothing to try.
Mi1ks Emulsion is pleasant, nutritive
food and a corrective medicine. It re-
stores healthy and natural bowel action,
doing away with all need OF pills and
physics 1t promotes appetite and quickly
puts the digestive organs in shape to as
simulate food AS a builder of flesh and
strength Milks Emulsion is strongly rec
commended to those whom sickness has
weakened, and is powerful aid in re-
sisting and repairing the effects of vast
ing diseases. Chronic stomach trouble
and constipation are promptly relieved
usually in one day.
This is the only solid emulsion made,
and so palatable that it is eaten with q
spoon like ice cream. Truly wonderful
for weak, sickly children.
No matter how severe your case, you
are urged to try Milks Emulsion under
this guarantee-Take six bottles home
with you, use it according to directions.
and If not satisfied with the results your
money will be promptly refunded. Price
6oc and $1.2G per bottle. The Milks Emul-
sion Co., Terre Haute Ind. Sold by drug
gists everywhere.-Adv.
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1920-04-22

Miller Willing to Pay More for
Wheat if 1t Meets All
Requirements.
PREMIUM ON POOR PRODUCT
Demonstrations at State Fairs, Local
Schools and Other Places Given
for Purpose Of Acquainting
Farmer With Grades.
prepared by the United States Depart

prepared by the United States Depart
ment of Agriculture.)
The miller buying wheat from a
farmer is willing to pay more for it
if, among other things, it has heavy
bushel weight, is dry and sound and
is free from weed seeds-in other
words, if it meets the federal require
ments for No. 1 grade, of the proper
subclass. The miller knows he can
get from such grain more and better
flour, with less labor and expense on
his part. This is illustrated by results
of several hundred tests made by the
bureau OF markets, United States de-
partment of agriculture, in which No.
1 spring wheat according to federal
standards) weighing So pounds per
bushel, yielded 71.3 per cent Of straight
flour and 2S.7 per cent of bran and
middlings. On the other hand, spring
wheat grading No. 5, weighing 80
pounds per bushel, yielded 63.8 per
cent straight flour and 1852 per cent
bran and middlings.
PenaIizing Grower OF Good Wheat.
When the country dealer under nor
NAL marketing conditions buys the
wheat OF his section at a fat rate he
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1920-04-22
FARMERS ARE BEHIND ROADS
National Grange Officers Confer With
Senator Townsend on Bill He
Has introduced.

Proceeding in accordance with in
structiOns given them at the annual
meeting of the National Grange, held
recently in Grand Rapids, Mich,
Washington Representatives of the or
ganizatiOn, which comprises some
100000 farmers, have conferred with
Senator Charles E. Townsend of Mich
igan and will hold further meetings
with him on the measures which he
has introduced in Congress providing
for q national highway system TO be
built and maintained by the govern
ment under the direction OF a federal
commission.
In a special report adopted at the
grange meeting, it was held that the
time has come when, with due regard
for the present and future necessi-
ties for permanent, hard-Surfaced high
ways, all the highway activities Of the
national government should be unified
in single administrative department
under such limitation of powers as
will secure the greatest possible de
gree of efficiency and economy in the
expenditure of national funds.
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1920-04-22
VITAL IMPORTANCE OF ROADS
Modern Medicine Points Out There Are
Few Physicians and Nurses in
Rural Communities.

That good roads are OF vital i'm
portance to the health of a cOmmu-
nifty and particularly those who live
In rural communities is shown in an
article in Modern Medicine. 1t is
pointed out by the writer that there
are few physicians. few nurses. and
practically no hospital facilities in
rural districts. In some communi-
ties, even in older states. there IS only
one practicing physician te 800 popu-
Iatfon. Hardships of travel make
young physicians scarce. Better high
ways, he points out, will lead physi-
clans TO go after country practice In
increasing numbers.
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1920-04-22
BRONCHITIS IN LITTLE PIGS
Not Much Can Be Done in Way OF
fredericksburg, Cold Pens Are
Cause of Trouble.

Bronchitis most commonly occurs in
young pigs. Matured hogs are seldom
troubled with it. II it attacks very
young pigs it often proves fatal. but
pigs two or three months old will gen.
orally survive, though their growth
may be seriously interfered with The
disease is accompanied by a distress
ing cough, which usually disappears
with the advent Of warm weather and
outdoor exercise. Little can be done
in the way OF treatment Dry pens
free from drafts, nourishing feed and
as much exercise as possible are the
principal points TO be observed. Damp,
cold pens are the most common cause
Of this trouble.
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1920-04-22
GREEN FEED FOR Hen FLOCK
Providing IL Is ReIished by Fowls
There Probably Is Little Differ
encetin Kind Fed.

Every poultry keeper has a favorite
green feed for his flock. Usually it is
one that can be supplied with least ex-
pense and effort. Providing 1t is rel
ished by the fowls, there probably is
little difference in what kind of green
feed is supplied, United States depart
ment of agriculture specialists say.
Cabbages, turnips and beets are all
suitable for this purpose. The larger
roots and the cabbages may be sus-
pended by a wire or they may be
placed on the floor, in which case it
Is well to split the turnips or beets
lengthwise with a large knife. Pota-
toes may also be fed and should be
cooked. The mangel is excellent for
feeding raw.
Glover, cut up and soaked in boiling
water, is good when fed with mash, as
Is clover meal and ground alfalfa.
Sprouted oats or other SprOuted grains
may also be fed and make excellent
green feeds, but require considerable
labor. AS a general thing the flock
should have, once a day, about all the
green feed it will eat.
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1920-04-22
PARCEL POST USEFUL
FOR SHIPPING Strip
Two Types of 0ne-GaIIon Con-
tainers Satisfactory.
Packages Properly Wrapped and
Marked, as Required by Postal
Regulations, Will Carry With
out Danger of Leakage.

Maple, cane and sorghum sirups
may be readily shipped by parcel post
If properly prepared for shipment, ac-
cording to investigators in the bureau
OF markets, United States department
of agriculture, who have made expert
mental shipments from many parts of
the country, over many different mail
routes. OF 394 shipments only three
showed any material loss because of
leakage and this was due to unusually
rough handling. The average distance
covered by these shipments was great
er than sirups are likely to be sent
by mail under ordinary conditions.
Two types of one-gallOn tin contain
ers were found satisfactory for parcel
post shipments. Both types have
screw caps and are provided with out
er cartons Of corrugated paperbOard.
Snugly fitting pieces of cork In the
caps cover the opening in the cans
when screwed down tightly. Such
packages properly wrapped and Sc
curely tied, marked Fragile" as re-
quired by the postal regulations for
packages containing liquids, viii carry
without danger OF leakage in the
mails. While the one-gallon can is
most commonly used, any size up to
five gallons may be shipped under the
present parcel post weight limit OF 20
pounds. Light but substantial wood
en- crates should be supplied for the
larger containers.
Suggestions on obtaining customers
and dealing with them by parcel post
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1920-04-22
EAT LESS AND TAKE
SALTS FOR KIDNEYS
Take . Glass of Salts if Your Back
Hurts or Bladder
Bothers.

The American men and women must
guard constantly against Kidney trou-
bic, because we eat too much and all
our food is rich. Our blood is filed
with uric acid which the kidneys strive
to filter out, they weaken from over
work, become sluggish; the eliminative
tissues clog and the result is kidney
trouble, bladder weakness and a gen.
eral decline In health.
When your kidneys feel like Jumps
of lead; your back hurts or the urine
is cloudy, full of sediment or you are
obliged to seek relief two or three
times during the night; if you suffer
with sick headache or dizzy, nervous
spells, acid stomach, or you have rheu-
matism when the weather is bad, get
from your pharmacist about four
ounces Of Jad Salts; take a table
spoonful in a glass of water before
breakfast for a few days and your
kidneys will then act fine. This IA
nous salts is made from the acid of
grapes and lemon juice, combined
with lithia, and has been used for
generations to flush and stimulate
,clOgged kidneys; to neutralize the
acids in the urine SO it no longer is a
source Of irritation, thus ending
bladder disorders.
Jad Salts is inexpensive; cannot in
jure, makes a delightful effervescent
Whitewater beverage, and belongs in
every home, because nobody can make
a mistake by having q good kidney
flushing any tfme.-Adv.
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1920-04-22
MORAL NECESSITY TO BUILD
To Maintain Happy and Prosperous
People on Farms We Must I'M
prove Rural Conditions
Ry ]. DENNY O'NEIL Pennsylvania
Highway Commissioner

(By ]. DENNY O'HEIL, Pennsylvania
Highway Commissioner
The problem confronting the high
way department in these abnormal
times when labor and material are
so scarce and so high, is this: Shall
we go ahead constructing new roadsf
| am convinced that good roads are
an economic as we'll as a moral ne
cessity. We must have food, and If
we want boys and girls to stay on the
farm to produce it, we must dig them
out OF the mud by building roads
so they can get to market or to a rail-
road
There are places in Pennsylvania
where it costs more to haul farm
products TO a railroad station than
it does to pay the freight to France.
AS in the past, the hope of the future
from a moral point of view, is to
maintain a happy, contented and
prosperous people on the farms and
in the small towns and villages. They
don't produce I. ". WIS. ballot-box
suffers, election fraud crooks. gun
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1920-04-22

markets and their application fire.
quently was based largely on the judg-
ment OF the individual inspector at
each market. Consequently, it was
very difficult for the country dealer
to apply grades accurately. He was
not sure that the grain he had bought
at one grade would be received at
that grade by the one to whom he de-
livered it. In contrast to this, the
grades established by the federal gov
eminent are uniform throughout the
country. Furthermore, standardized
equipment has been perfected for max
ing many of the tests to determine the
grade, so that with the aid Of uniform
rules for grading. the federal stand
ards can be applied uniformly in all
parts Of the country.
Acquainting Farmers With Grades
While the government has no au-
thority under the United States grain
standards act to supervise grain grad
ing under federal grades, except in the
work Of licensed inspectors and in in
terstate shipments, the government
does want to acquaint farmers and
Will dDD11CdllOH
Of the federal standards so that they
may benefit more generally thereby.
This is one reason why federal grain
supervision officials give demonstra-
tons of federal grades at state fairs,
local grain-grading schools, and other
places, and colleges give grain-grading
courses. By these means the farmer
learns how to apply the grades to his
own wheat. He may not care to sup
ply himself with a set OF the equip
ment to grade his own grain but by
learning the essential features OF the
standards and the grading rules he
will be able to know whether the coun-
try buyer is correctly grading his
grain when he markets It.
Appealing TO Inspector.
In addition. if country dealer buys
by grade and his farmer customer
thinks he doesn't grade right, they can
mail sample, upon which they both
agree as being representative OF the
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1920-04-22

tains or dishes and placed in the shade
so as to keep as cool as possible. Clean
the water dish thoroughly each day be-
fore filling.
An abundance of free range with
plenty of shade is necessary if chicks
are to grow rapidly and develop into
vigorous fowls, says the United States
department of agriculture. Growing
chicks that have free range obtain
quantities of green feed, bugs, worms
and other things. therefore requiring
less grain, and they are also less liable
to sickness or disease Give your
chicks free range whenever possible.
The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1920-04-22
BIG REDUCTION IN CHOLERA
Decrease in Swine Loss OF u Per
Cent Noted in Six Counties In
North Carolina.
prepared by the United States Depart

prepared by the United States Depart
ment Of -Agriculture.)
An example OF the benefit which
may come to a community from the
welI-directed efforts of state and fed
eral agencies, coupled with the COOP
Grafton Of farmers, for the control OF
hog cholera is shown in a recent re-
port Of a veterinary inspector OF the
bureau of animal industry.
Hog cholera control work was in
augurated in six counties in the north
eastern section of North Carolina Au-
gust 1, 1916. An intensive campaign
was carried on for a period OF IA
months. 1t included investigation OF
reported outbreaks, demonstrations In
the use Of serum and virus. and the
disinfection Of premises. As the
services Of practicing veterinarians
were not available, a number OF lay
men were trained in the administra-
ton OF the serum treatment for chol-
era. After that period Of intensive
activities the work was withdrawn to
another section OF the state. only gen
original area.
During October a survey was made
Of the counties comprising the district
In question, and a QUESTIONABLE was
submitted to as many Of the farmers
as could be reached. Answers re-
ceived and tabulated indicate that
there has been a reduction in losses
from cholera Of over y per cent, and
an increase OF over 100 per cent in
swine production, due to the protec-
ton offered by the immunization OF
the animals. There has also been a