The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-02-21
MEN, WOMEN
 AND THINGS

One of my friends met me on the street on Wednesday morning and said, Hello. Frank Willis. I'll bet tha. after all you wrote about the average man being able to enjoy a concert that you failed to register at the JeffersoR .on Tuesday night"
 Did I hear Frieda Hempel? did not And thereby hangs sad tale. If anyone had told me that I was going to miss hearing her sing would have thought they were just trying to guy me for pretending that I was musical enough to really appreciate her won derful voice.
 spent some time out at the stock yards and came in a bit dirty and tired, and as had been warned it was to be very swell affair I thought would run out home and get into my dress suit and freshe9 up and be able to better enjoy the music and teei more in tune with the crowd
 put the key in the. front door, put the minute I got into the living roo"
 1 didn't see trouble. but I heard it. T. was the. unmistakable sound of run ming water, and as my family was m Florida knew that the thaw had set in and that somewhere in the house there was sure to be swimming pool
 
 I rushed to the upstairs bathrooms but found them all right. I then maoe for the one downstairs. and 1t was all O. k I then made for the kitchen, and there I found the thing I feared to find. If it had just been an ordinary leak I wouldn't have winded it so l much. but it was running out from the hot water back in the stove
 opened the lower door and drew out the ash can and it contained about a gallon of water. I rushed to the back door and emptied it. I had cut the water off few days back, think | ing that by so doing I would fore stall any possibility of getting caught during the freeze. And because I had taken this precaution I reasoned that when the hot water tank emptied itself that the flood would cease.
 stood to attention and began to empty the tin receptacle as fast as 1t filled. I looked at the tank and saw l in bold letters the figures 200 writ ten thereon, and in my excitement | thought for the moment that I would have to make that many trips to the back porch before I could get chance 1 to rest But soon l looked closer and 1 it did not refer to the size of the tank but to the steam pressure it would stand.
 But before I got much comfort out of the fact I saw staring me in the face some more figures. I read them and they turned out to be "S5.' am something of philosopher and try to | find something to be thankful for even when things look mighty dark. sup- poseI am a male Pollyanna, if there 1 be "any sieh animal" I just kept tot ] ing water for I knew if did not faint 1 the bottom would at least be reached, and then I was 115 gallons to the good
 from my first reading.
 l I also had this advantage. as many 1 gallons had already run out on tho 1 floor. and this was good but for the
 fact that they had been strained | through the ashes in the grate and | had messed it up considerably. I made
 a search for broom and at last found 1 one and began heroically to sweep
 the rising tide through the hallway
 which led to the back steps Hereafter
 will have more sympathy for those
 who have ito wield the broom, for soon found that it brought into play
 certain muscles which. having lain
 dormant, soon began to protest about
 being brought into such violent use. | I have managed somehow to get 1 pleasure out of my work and in spite ! of slight muscular pains in my back | [ was soon interested in the fight to win against the rising water, and be- placed the ash can in the stove I had 1 gotten my glood warm ed to the extent l that I had lost, sight of the fact that while the thermometer was rising, it it was still far from being balmy
 night. I surveyed the kitchen and was real pleased with the good job had
 done.
 It had taken me about an hour, but i I had still time to get into my eve ming suit, but on the way up the back stairs I still Heard the noise of run ming water. l opened the door which leads from the center hall into the ibasement and knew then that while had emptied a tank that I was now up against the Cahaba river for it was gushing copiously into my cellar.--- am a BaptistAbut sometimes the water
 business can be overdone.
 1 I ask you householders. when the time came for you to need the key te lturn off the water from the street, was it ever where it could be found? 1 hat
 seen one about the premises scores o1 times, but not being a magnet coult
 not draw it to me. 1 finally rushed over to my brothers, and one of hi' sons had seen a kev down back by the
 barn and the strange thing was he was
 able to go down and bring it to me. I then hurried back and began tC
 look for the meter. at last located s it and pulled off the iron top and fel IL