davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-03-12
Short SnatcheS
From EUefy1Chere

Mexico will exDel jenkins. says a
headline Lucky dog,-Norfolk Ledger
Dispatch.
As yet Mr. Colby has not called
any Informal sessions Of the cabinet
salt Lake Herald
A returned traveller from Russia
says there are two kinds OF boil
sheviki. As If one weren't enough.
Omaha World-Herald.
The demand of railroad labor did
not work so well this time as il did
with the Adnmson act. Clubs were
not trumps-Mmneapolis Tribune
In choosing men 70 cure our coun-
.try's Ills. the voters have not taken
any Of the Roots, but they may take
one OF the Herbs.-Arkausas Gazette
We knew something would happen
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-03-12

ROCK HOCKS'S dog followed him
u last Sunday when be vent to can.
on the Calf Ribs widow. The dog
wanted to see hoE him and the widows
dog would harmoniEe If they both have
70 stay Under the same house.
The editor Of the Tickville Edings
says they must have all been sick at
Washington day before yesterday as he
failed TO receive his usual arm-load Of
useless printed matter fcom there this
morning
e
Il Is feared that our population
figures VII not reach the h0ped-for
100 marx when the official count Is
a~scertained II It does not let rs all
set IN With a bulldog determination to
grow and expand and have as our
slogan. One hundred souls By 1890.
But Just about the time we reach on
goal somebody viii get mad and pick
up and move.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-03-12

4 ND
x Ms WERS
Was John Maynard Keynes.
author Of aEeonomie Conse-
quenees OF the Peace ever

WAS Iunm MAJ NGaAGs
" author OF aEeonomie Conse-
quences OF the Peace ever
connected with the British embassy
at WazhinEtonf 4. r.
A. Mr.. Keynes, who IS a member
Of the British civil service, and eoi-
tor OF the Economic Journal. accom-
panied Lord Reading TO Washington
as financial advisor in 1917 Mr.
Keynes was the chief representative
OF the British treasury at the peace
conference
q Can you suggest some fnt-pro-
duclnE fOodsf c. II. VI.
A. The Iowa State College Of
Agriculture advises eating the fol-
lowing foods to Increase weight:
Butter, cream, olive oil. bacon, baked
potatoes, milk. well-baked bread, CO.
Goa, chocolate. we'll cooked cereals,
cream soups, raisins, cream toast,
prunes, figs. dates. custards and
eggs.
q. what is president Wilson's
full names y. o. A.
A. He was christened Thomas
woodrow Wilson. but he rarely uses
his first Christian name
@ what Is the salary OF judge
Anderson. the federal Judge WhO pre-
sided nt the Injunction proceedings in
In strike OF the bitumlnOua coal
minersf J. o. G.
A Judge Anderson OF the federal
district court Of Indiana receives an
annual salary OF $4,000. He vas ap-
pointed TO office by president VIII
SON.
q. what ala president Wilson
say about hyphennted Americans
that had 10 do with h popularity
Of that phruses &. I. 8.
A. Among other things. he said.
in a speech delivered al the unveii-
ing OF a statue to commodore John
Barry. that some Americans need
hyphens in their names. because only
part OF them has come over but
when the whole man has come over.
heart and thought and all, the hyphen
drops Of its " weight out OF his
name.
Q. Did aTerrlbIe Terry Meow
eru ever knock out joe Gnnsf r.. IT,
A. McGoveru Knocked out the
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-03-12
Ripping Rhymes
By WALT MASON.
The Popular Game

LIVERY one IS proHteerng every one is profit struck; no ones pleased unless
L he's clearing 80 cents N every buck I would buy myself some clothing
someHfug shgf-ucm would sufdce-but my soul is filled with loathiug when
I contemplate the price. 1 would buy a slab of bacon, but the man who sells
the same By his conscience is fouaken, and his prices are . shame. I would
Ike TO paint my shanty whose appearance is z frost but the burning words Of
Dante can't DO Justice to the cost Nov and then I 20 requesting for the ra-
son for this care and the blame is always resting q some distant naneles
laws. Oh, the blame IS never loGl, it Is always most remote. and each nan,
profanely vocal, says some others get his goat Vain is all cur loud resistance
10 The graft that makes as sick; always in the hav distance re the knaves
who do the trick Always in elusive shadow is the prohtesnnz grou1 which
HAS fond its E Dorado, while consumers find their soup. Far away the rob
hers shameless who harpoon Us through and through, and your merchant prince
Is bamees-hs gets sung as well as you.
Copyright by George Matthew Adams WALT MASON.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-03-12

4 USED 70 know him.
YEARS AGO.
AND WHEN I net him.
on A railroad train
BETWEEN TWO towns.
RECOGNIZED him
THOUGH he looked to ne
LIKE a very alex nan
AND ! shook hands with him.
AND THEN I saw.
HE WAS very nervous.
AND IT wasn't my business.
AND I didn't ask him
But LATER on.
IN TIE smoking car.
HE CoNFDED to ne
THAT BE had been chairman.
OF A local COMMITTEES.
IN HIS little home town.
To ARRANGE a banquet
AND he liked for the banquet
AND cor a bright idea
ABOUT EXPLODING some bombs.
IN A vacant block
JUST BEFORE the banquet
AND THE committee said
IT WOULD Be AL right
AND BE had the bombs
AND ALONG about sevsn.
HE EXPLODED one.
AND A butchers horse.
ATTACHED TO a wagon.
AND THAT hadn't been told.
ABOUT THE bombs.
DIDN'T KNOW what it vas.
AND RAN way.
AND An automobile
N A frantic effort
NOT TO hit the horse
RAN INTO a post
AND HROKE IL of
AND IT tumbisd over.
AGAINST THE window.
OF A druggists shop.
AND RRokE the window.
AND ALSO a Jar.
THAT WAS FILLED to the orim-
WITH SOMETHING red
AND a light behind It.
AND THE runaway horse
WENT AROUND q corner.
AND SWUNG its wagon
AGAINST ANOTHER wagon.
AND THE second horse.
HADN'T ANY idea
WHAT WAS going on
e
BUT AS All was excitement
II RAN aray. TOO. {
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-03-12

THERE is a class o. boys here vino
should be prohibited from riding
bicycles on the streets. said A
n- Ballew. Recently, I was getting
off a street a 90 n plaza Just
ahead OF me wa az old lady A
lalr grown boy on a bicycle dashed
IS close as possible 10 her. and as he
passed Just at her side he shouted
into her face, laughing as she leaped
10 one side in fright This is not the
only case I have seen boys Of this
stripe dash between pedestrians who
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-03-12
Nominating A President.

A S the day draws nearer when candidates VIII be noml-
n mated for the presidential race, it becomes more and
more apparent that some member Of the Wilson dynasty
viii lead the Democratic ticket.
For the Democrats TO seek to reflect Wilson would, OF
course. result in their utter defeat. The more sagaoous
among them are aware Of that In fact, It IS doubtful II
there is a Democrat in the country who could bring his
party victory, so thoroughly Disguised are the people with
going to come mighty near naming the candidate lie 0y
not be able TO name his soninlaw, Mr.. McAdoo, out ne VIII
have to put his approval on the man who is nominated.
It is unfortunate, too, that the Democrats have snen a
handicap. It is unfortunate for the Democrats for other
than Wilsonian candidates and for the people It IS unfoT-
tunate for other candidates because no matter how capable
OF how worthy an aspirant for the presidential DOMINATION
On the Democratic ticket might be, he must hl8 the VII
sonian approval It IS a peculiar Circumstance, where M
Wilson cannot himself be elected, yet can Flrtuauy name
the man who VIII run
Gen. Leonard Wood at this time has as bright prospects
as auv Republican for bringing down the big Job. While
Gen. Wood is admittedly a fine man with many sterling
qualities, he can't begin TO measure up 10 Roosevelt And
he isn't the caibre Of 4 half dozen living men, any one Of
whom IS available to the Republicans. And he is so
obssssed with a desire for revenge for his treatment BY
M. Wilson that many fear he would plainly place him
self at the disposal Of his partys bosses for the privilege
of achieving the highest distinction that can come to an
American. And, although getting even with Wilson has
come TO be not only q pardonable but a more or less auda-
be ambition It should require more than an ardent desire
for revenge to entitle a candidate to the office nov held
by the man on whom such candidate may desire to wreak
vengeance.
The American people are entitled to the best possible
president. Although Herbert Hoover probably VIII not Be
nominated by either party, due 10 his mpopulauty with
the bosses, he seems to be the choice Of public sentiment
at present, at least Of a large part Of It Moreover ms
many and varied activities have given him qualifications
so wosfully lacking IN some Of our presidents and in many
Of the professional politicians who are asprants.
The high chief Of the Democrats, It would seem, has
put the country's politics in a bad way.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-03-12
Little ntnueUS.
Says Certain Type OF Boys Should Be Barred From BICYCLES
Florist Says Mexico Flowers Rival Those OF Pacific Coast

feet on the number OF persons in Fl
Paso and the civilian American
population. the civilian Mexican
population and the soldier popula-
ton
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-03-12

The bureau cannot give advice on
legal, medical and financial matters.
Il does not attempt 4 settle domes-
tic troubles, nor TO undertake eX-
haustive research on any subject.
Write your question plainly and
briefly. Give full name md address
and enclose . cents in stamps for re-
turn postage. All replies are sent d.
rect to the lnuuirer.)
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-03-12

A SIGN OF IMPROVEMENT.
The worlds CROWN better said Uncle Sim Hankus. 81 seen al n
vsrtissment IN ~ farm paper that said 70 I would send a dollar I could
find ot what was good for cold feet I sent Il and got az answer this
noruiz. It didnt tell ne % warn EN-"
KEEP THEM APART.
Railway and steamship clerks ara 10 have a raise OF pay They organ
lied. what an uphsaval there is likely q be Il the people who write free
verse ever get together
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-03-12

.colored lightweight champion OF the
world in the second OF their bouts
held AZ the Chicago Athletic club on
December 10. 1900. McGoTern's VIC
tory over Cans was M OF the great
est surprises in pugilistic annals
@. what + m Alaskan fur seal
skin WORTH r. d.
a. At a public auction held a
month ago in St Louis. 300 dressed.
dyed and machined fur seal skins
from Alaska were sold The skins
commanded the highest price ever
paid. One lot brought S177 each.
and a number OF others were sold
for $40. The average price paid was
s14L This Is an advance Of $50. OF
about SIS per cent. yer the sale Of
September. 1913. The aggregate
amount OF this sale OF furs was
s1~.2S2. eos.
q. IL the United States importing
sugar from EuroDef r.. C.. B.
A. Nearly 100000 pounds OF
sugar were imported from London
during the first half OF January Of
the present year. these consigu-
ments consisted OF sugar from lava
and Mauritius and the price paid was
Is cents a pound.
FAwu -anHaw cen cot The amnmH~ 20
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-03-12
A Line O. Cheer
Each Day O. The Year
By JOHN KENDRICK BANGS.

DREAMING
DACE yonder In my boyhood days
d 7 dreamed fair dreams Of golden
days
I'd wear uQnu brow
or LhinEs OF honor and OF worth
I'd wrest from out the stores OF
For my enjoyment now.
nov 7 drsma OF all the 5os
That was my own when as a boy
planned those Wondrcus
schemes.
And bless my days both young and
For ali the glad things I behold
IN dreams.
Copyright 1880. by Mcclure Views
paper Syndicate.
-. y - II. n-.t
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-03-12

Abe Martin wants to know what's become Of the Teller
that used TO work hard all week and then get sit up" on
Saturday night. He is down at the grocery store paying
his bill.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-03-12
Patter Ind Chatter
4 Cheerful Word.

II GHSCyHL ~ OH
LIE vas a care free optnst who never frowned or fTettsd;
II He left the ~ouyi1g for those to whom he was indebted
@Chssr up" be said when other men came asking him TO SETTLE
"Some day III get a raise and be in splendid fetue"
They threatened him and bounded him.
But, always with a smile,
Whenever they surrounded him,
He promised, after while"
LIE spoke about a brighter day when prices would be cheaper;
II And, deep in debt, he managed sMl to get a little deeper;
To those who came to dun he said: Tomorrow may Be sunny
And he that gives you hope gives more than be that gives you money
The profftseTs, refusing him
The credit that he sought,
Found soaes IN abusing hin,
But, smiling, be forgot
A CIGARET was dropped, one day, among some dusty shaving;
a The people who had oEerrharged lest al their wicked savings
Forth stepped the cheerful opiuists a smile upon his features;
he watched the hoWhnE proftsers and pited the poor creatures
TOO bad that you were pitless@
Il was a tender touch
IF you had charged q little less
You'd not have lost so much"
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-03-12

Those 10 vhom everybody alODs hs second place
have an undoubied title to the first
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-03-12

We TOWNE GOSSIP
Registered C. g Patent ofe.

L. n
AND BOTH runaway horses.
RAN ALL over town.
FOR HsLF an hour.
AND THE bright red stuff.
IN The drug store jar.
RAN ouT to the street
AND WAS tracked al orer
AND ALTOGETHER
IT WAS the busiest time.
AND THE bloodisst time.
THAT TIE town ever saw
AND EVERYBODY
WAS SUNG ny friend
AND he was going away
THANK you
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-03-12

TIE young lady across the way, says
1 nothing is more important in these
days Of strikes and shorter hours than
to remember what the Bible says, that
in the Precipitation Of thy fare thou
shalt eat thy bread.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-03-12

CAny reader a get the answer 10
any question by writing The Herald
Information Bureau. Frederic J. Has
kin. Director. Washington, d. c. This
offer applies strictly TO information
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-03-12

Those thieves who entered a grocery and got Sioo
worth Of goods must have heard somebody coming and beat
It, for they had certainly only got a very small amount
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-03-12

Red liquor is about the only thing that can't be bought
On the instslment plan these days.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-03-12

It Is about time United States senators we're cited for
conspicuous procrastinstion IN action.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-03-12

man has to pay the government a tax On surplus IN
is undepaid.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-03-12

A lot Of small towns have discovered that a good tn
angle affair beats a publicity agent.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-03-12

The Ultimate ultimatum VIII 90 forward On March 3
1921.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-03-12

Mrs. Winona V. Simmons. the first
woman rural mall carrier IN northern
California. makes a s. mile uip
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-03-12

-HIEI IIAN
niete news report BY
covering Arizona New
York Entered ~ the
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1920-09-23
TWO NEW TEACHERS

The announcement is made from
the Superintendent office that two
new teachers have been elected to
high school positions in order that the
extra sized Freshman Class of over
200 members may be divided into
eight instead of six sections. 1t was
felt that the present arrangement left
too many children in each section to
secure the best teaching results. The
new members of the corps of instruc-
tors are Miss Eugenia Pierce of Min
neapolis, graduate of the University
Of Wisconsin who will teach science
and algebra while Miss Mabel He'd
drich of La Crosse, a graduate of the
university of Wisconsin and also of
the La Crosse Normal will guide the
destinies Of the Freshman classes in
English.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1920-09-23

of Wisconsin Rapids as directors.
Hugh Goggins of this city was pres
ent at the birth of the new concern
to attend to the legal phases of or
ganization. After some discussion the
main offices of the company were To-
Gated at Vesper. A meeting of direc-
tors held later at the office of the
Consolidated Water Power & Paper
Co, in Wisconsin Rapids elected the
following officers; President, Geo. w.
Mead; vice president, Ruben Connor;
secretary, W. w. Clark; treasurer,
Byron Whittingham. The company is
capitalized at $100, 100000 of which
two-thirds has already been subscrib-
ed. It's purpose is to secure electric
power from the Consolidated Power
House at Biron and distribute it
around the smaller communities, run
ming the main line from Biron to
Vesper thence to Arpin, Rudolph, Au-
burndale, and later to Pittsville and
other smaller villages and hamlets
wherever power is needed. It is hoped
that the line from Biron to ,Vesper
may be completed yet this fall.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1920-09-23
LEGISLATIVE
RECORD Of
SEN. HARDING

Milwaukee, Wis.-Representatives
IF Labor IN all sections of the state
are keenly alive to the progress that
Harding is making in the popularity
line in Wisconsin, according to Secre-
tary Giles Clark of the Harding Cool
idge Club of Wisconsin.
''It is being realized" said Mr..
Clark, that Harding's record thruout
has been a record of practical, COM
mon sense, effective assistance to la
Dor in every possible way. AS mat
ter of fact he despises the idea of dis
tinction between labor and manage
ment"
The Wisconsin headquarters cite the
record of Senator Harding on ques-
tions affecting labor as follows:
Voted for Child Labor Bill.
Voted for the Borah amendment to
the Shipping Board Bill providing
that no alien who could not read Eng
lish or some other language could be
employed in the shipyards.
Voted for the Workman Compensa-
ton Bill
Voted for clause in Revenue to raise
an equitable portion of required re-
venue from tariff, sufficient to protect
American workmen, etc.
Voted to pass the immigration Bill
over the Presidents veto.
Voted for Lodge amendment to the
revenue bill imposing highest rate of
duty on imports of child labor made
goods
Voted for Poindexter amendments
to revenue bill in recornering markets
on foodstuffs (making same felony).
Voted for Pomerene bill to give
President power to fix coal prices.
Voted to give government employ
aes full pay for overtime work after
eight hours.
Voted for the amendment levying
lax on employment Of child labor.
Voted for Post Office appropriation
containing provision to pay soldiers
same as civilians when employed on
road construction.
Voted for repeal of daylight saving
law over the Presidents veto.
Voted for the amendment to strike
out provision in the treaty detriment-
al to American Labor.
Voted for purchase of land and erec-
tion of houses thereon to be rented to
Door and labor classes at reasonable
rentals.
Voted for the passage of bill to es-
tablish minimum wage board to fix
wages for women and children in the
District of Columbia.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1920-09-23
HEATING PLANT
AND CHIMNEY FIRES

Is every part of your heating plant
in safe condition?
Last year nearly 35 per cent of the
total number Of Wisconsin fires and
about 26 percent Of the total fire loss
were due to heating plant hazards.
During 1919, in Wisconsin, 73 per-
sons died, and lat were injured thru
fire. In one case a whole family was
wiped out. Think of it, 73- precious
lives and one million and half of
property sacrificed largely because of
CARELESSNESS.
The discovery and remedy of heat
ing plant hazards are not particularly
technical, and only call for the eXer-
else of ordinary care and good common
sense.
You believe in protecting the lives
Of those dear to you, your home, your
shop and your accumulated savings
of a life time; then profit by the les
sons of the past, as taught by these
statistics, and answed fully and con
scientiously the questions before start
ing the seasons fires.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1920-09-23

the finest in the city for their business
This firm carry complete line of gen
tlemen furnishings and the best the
market affords. They cater to the
wants Of their trade md are always
up with the latest on the markets
Mr.. F. W. Kruger, the senior member
of the firm has been in business since
1895. He is ably assisted by the Tur-
bin Brothers, who have also been with
the store for several years Together
they are a strong combination which
is hard to beat. They work we'll to-
gether and are popular with the
trade. Whenever you purchase an
article of Kruger & Turbin company
you can rely upon it that it is right
and up to date and the best. May they
continue to prosper is the wish Of the
Reporter.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1920-09-23
4 PER CENT INVESTMENT
SAFER THAN 10 AND
WALK THE FLOOR

Production of oil is one of the great
fuel requirements of the world today.
But fake oil stocks have lit the fires
under hundreds of thousands of bank
accounts. Nathan Adams, Vice Presi-
dent Of one of the largest banks of
Dallas, Texas, in touch with every
ramifcation Of the great Texas oil in
dustry, estimates that out Of every
hundred dollars invested in oil stocks,
$95 is lost
In arriving at that conclusion, not
only the dishonesty of fraudulent pre-
moters but the chances of bad manage
ment, faulty judgment, i'll luck and
failure to find oil must be taken into
consideration.
With Mr.. Adams figures as basis
it is evident that if every investor to-
day who bought oil stock had pur-
chased a War Savings Stamp with a
S5 maturity value for its current
monthly price of SAP in January of
this year and burned up $95.88, the
whole group would have been 50 cents
apiece better off.
The Government Savings Securities,
carrying 4 per cent interest compound
er quarterly, are always worth more
t ian was paid for them. As Alexander
Stewart, the old time New York mer-
chant used to say; ut is better to
sleep sound with 4 per cent invest
ment than to walk the floor for TO-"