The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1920-02-13
Dorothy Dix Talks
By DOROTHY DIX
worlds Highest Paid Woman Writef'
The Family Martyr

COZ course" continued the sister OF
the afflicted woman, you feel like a
MARTYR who has been Slowly roasted to
death over the kitchen range when you
set your husband down to an elaborate
meal, that you spent four hours cook
ing. and he gobbles down dishes that
Won killed yourself making without
saving a word of thanks or praise to
YOU. But don't you think that a CON
latented and cheerful wife is a oetter
sauce for dinner than anything Hoi-
landaise or Becha1nel or any other sort
of goo that she could serve with II
.tDon't you think that Jenny would
| he happier and more anxious to stay at
home if she had simpler clothes ana
m other who was jolly and had time TO
enter into her little plans than she IS
with u lot of fluffy ruffles and a
mother who has worked so hard
making them that she is SO nervous
that she is as cross and irritable as
| sore headed bear?
do you think that it makes any
difference to the baby whether its
| clothes are hand made or machine
made or whether you sit up at night
and watch it sleep instead of going
downstairs and spending cheerful
evening trying to make home agree
able to your husband?
IF you will look about you you will
perceive that the adored wives and
mothers are never the women who are
the notable housekeepers in whose
J houses there is never a speck of dust
nor anything awry. Neither are they
| the women who are celebrated as
| famous cooks. Neither are they the
so-called devoted mothers who worry
themselves to death watching over
their families.
"They are the women who take life
easily, who keep themselves jolly and
good natureG, and who are always
| ready to pal with their husband and
frolic.
"These women don't make martyrs
of themselves to their families. After
all, you know, as a matter of fact, our
families are not cruel ana-inhuman
monsters who enjoy seeing us suffer.
or desire us to sacrifice ourselves to
them. They would much rather have
US all comfortable together.
| "It makes your martyrdom so use
less. That's the pity of it. Now. one
reason that your nerves are in fidcl lie
Lstrings is because you lack sleep. You
persist in sitting up every night until
Bob and Sally come home from their
I, parties, no matter how late it is
\ "Will you tell me what good that
does? Either Sally or Bob are trust
worthy or they are not If they are
coming home straight from their
parties, you don't have to watch out
for them. If they are not. watching is
useless and your sitting up and losing
sleep doesn't help the matter. You
don't know where they are You have
no. means of reaching them. You
could not prevent them from doing
anything they wanted to do. All that
mother can do is to instilI good prin-
ciples into her children and bring them
up with decent ideals, and if she has
done that, she can go to bed and go
to sleep.
so / say, can this martyr stuff.
There is nothing to it, unless you are
enjoying going on a jag of self pity.
Believe me, it will be a glad day for
your family when you cease sacrificing
yourself for them. They don't want
it. and wouldn't have it if they could
help themselves"