Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-07-10

BY LUKE McLUKE.
Copyright, 1890, the Cincinnati
Inquirer.)
Strange.
No wonder hard luck makes u
fuss,
For ii is true, I'm told,
That when things get too not for US
The world IL mighty cold.
Haw, Haw
Don't you think that the mod
ern girl has more backbone thar
her old-fashioned sister," asked thu
Old Fogy.
well, replied the Crouch. "sh'
certainly shows more"
The Truth.
On this fact you al make q bet,
II 10 the truth you'll find;
The faster you get into debt,
The more you get behind.
Mean Brute
Here is a beauty specialist whit
guarantees to make a woman lool
ten years younger in treat
ment," said Mrs. Gabb. as she look
ed UP from the newspaper she wa.
reading.
Huh" growled Mr.. Gabb. why
don't you take about forty or fifty
treatments?"
Ho, Hum
He married "A woman named Chol.
mondley,
And now he looks at her quite ghol.
mondley.
II abhor talk he said.
but since we've been wed,
She's afraid she might spend an
hour dholmondley."
Then II Happened.
IT wonder IL you could ?" unused
the Rummy. as he poured a little
paregoric into his ear beer.
You wonder IL you could
what?" demanded the Barkeep. as
he fingered a set Of brass knucks.
"Why, I wonder IL you could say
that an income tax dodger Is a man
of untold wealth 2" replied the Rum
my, as he headed for the door.
You Know Them.
They never get a raise in pay.
Some fellows we have met,
Because they seem afraid that they
might CoAh imam sANJ 0Ohs
Isn't This Lovely Weatheri
Dorchester (Minn.) Bulletin.)
Miss Isabel Jones returned yes
terday from Chicago where she WIS.,
tied her son Dick. e
What?
And what has become of the o. 4.
man who used to use stale beer IN
his shoe backing every Sunday
morning when he shined his boots?
Say Noti
No, Ferdinand. it would not be
proper to refer to residents Of Paris,
KY, as Parasites.
Very True.
Tucker b. tells us that some
friendship is like beauty-only skin
deep.
But Can They Beer You?
(Ottawa County (Ohio) Democrat.)
When at Catawba Island stop at
Cangney's Inn. They can eat you.
sleep you. drink you, or cream you.
Wuxtreei
Woodrow Wilson Wynn lives in
KY.
Same Thing.
Why go to the expense of bring
1t buy a parrot and train him to
say: "Slimy Sinners!" Hell
"Bawdy Bratsl' Lying
Pupsl" DIRTY Dogs!' Booze Bel
and Rotten Rats!' and put
him on a stage and listen 10 him
every night?
The other day this column asked
this question:
If a marine should sub for an
other Marine on furlough. woi.id he
be a sub Marine?
Impossible" wires T. D., from
New York. How can a man-o'-war
be a submarine?"
Names Is Names.
Every time we hear some men
talk we are reminded of the fact
that Pleasant Bull lives on r. r.
No. 8. Cookville. Tenn.
Our Daily Special.
Some Girls Are Not as Anxious to
Stay Married as They Are to Get
Married.
Luke McLuke Says.
The Brunette cause half of the
trouble in this world. but the poor
Blonde gets all the blame.
The reason they do not yea
knee-length skirts in summer is
because they wear the thin kind
that show more than the knees.
Enemies are not appreciated as
they should be. One industrious
enemy will give you more free ad-
vertising than 1000 careless friends.
A man doesn't mind having his
boss him. But it is differ
ent when his Daughters Mother
it.
A wife doesn't mind her husband
betting as long as he wins. But it
is diqerent If he loses.
Things sure do change. There
a time when Sunday was the
nau of Past NaW n is thu Dav ~