The Washington times., 1920-08-25

vertisement In some big city paper.
Something like this:
HUSBAND FOR SALE-The sub
scriber. for the best OF reasons. Of
fers for sale her husband. Carl Rus
sell, aged "a: height o II. 10 inches;
weight, lI2; hair. brown and plenti-
ful eyes, blue; teeth, perfect; racial
stock. native Aperican: diiigent
worker, OF exceptional habits.4 Write
to Mrs. Lillian Russell. Rockland.
Mass.
"The objection to that plan" said
Husband Russell, 'twas that II
wouldn't have brought enough for our
needs. / am a shoe worker and until
the slump In the shoe shops came
some ten or eleven weeks ago l was
as busy as a mailer"
the reporter.
"NOsB TO GRSNDsTONE.'
saver" demanded Russell, "how
could j save, with nine mouths to
feed, nine bodies to clothe and the
rent to pay? / have read editorials
in the newspapers about the work
silk socks and high-powered cars, but
by Jimminy, / haven't INDUCED in
those things. Old Mr.. High Cost has
kept my nose right up next 10 the
grindstone. Until the shops shut
down the wolk was around the corner.
When l had bean loafing two weeks he
was In the yard. A month ago he
was up on the doorstep.
The past few years may have been
glorious times for the unmarried shoe
worker, and I have no doubt they
were, but the man with a houseful
of youngsters has had to step lively
to keep a jump and a half ahead OF
the sheriff.
And that Is all there is to our
story except that we have now got
30 far behind that we have been or
dered to look for another house. II
neither the lottery. nor the auction
plan brings us some money 1t looks
as IL the house will be sothoroughly
cleared OF furnishings we shall not
need a moving van"
AS the interview closed and the re-
porter arose to leave Mrs Russell
| whispered a suggestion to her hus-
band. "A good idea" was Russell's
comment. Then he said to the re-
porter:
"By the way. while do not like to
brag about myself, / think the women
of the United States ought to know
that I have dabbled in photography
drawing and music. l can play the
mandolin and almost every other
kind of instrument"
You just whistle a tune" said Mrs
Russell, proudly. and Carl will sit
down to the piano and even II he
never heard the piece before. play II
perfectly. He's wonderful that way
Altogether" said RUSSELL" I sup.
pose l am what they call a versatile
| chap. They say / am good looking
AZ to that, / shall have to be silent
but l could put on full dress and get
by at the Ritz-Carlton or any other
swell hotel"
Speaking Of automobiles" said the
reporter do you know anything
about them?"
ARE AVERAGE COUPLE.
"I'll guarantee" said the husba nd
| who wants to be raffled or auctioned
of, that I can drive any car on the
market At that. all I've got is ar
| operators license"
The Russells rather unwillingly
posed for a photograph. In appear
ance they might be described as a
better tn ian the average couple There
Is nothing freakish in their appear.
ance and they are well spoken of ir
| the neighborhood.
| what conservative old plymouth
county is going to say OF the "hus
| band lottery" remains to be heard
Russell thought the lottery-auctior
plan could be written up without Civ.
| ing his address.
mo" said Mrs. Lillian Russell Eve
are doing this for the children. sc
let's be brave about it. ! hope the
| newspapers decide in favor of the
lottery plan. ThereIl be more money
In that and everybody will have a
chance"