davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-01-24
They Have No Policy

II the leaders of the republican
party have any definite foreign policy
they have so far failed to make it
known. Can it be they think sensible
members of their party will follow
them blindly into a campaign of mere
vituperation against Woodrow Wilson
because he wants America to do her
duty in world matters ?-Gallatin
Democrat.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-01-24
Very Liberal, But Who Pays?

John D. Rockefeller gave away
500. 100000 Christmas. His gifts
may benefit one in every hundred Of
the people OF this country; but coal
oil WAS raised one cent per gallon and
ninety per cent of the people will
suffer the additional hardship. We
have already paid about a dollar of
the donation.-Dade County Advo-
cate.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-01-24
Got Rid OF Them Fast

The United States is deporting all
Reds as fast as they come to them.
There is no more Red propaganda
The Chicago police have rounded up
all suspicious characters and the wave
OF crime and robbery is at an end.
fore? There is only one way to clean
house. Get rid of the pests.-Craig
Leader.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-01-24

1t is a misfortune for any commun-
ity to lose such men as Senator Will
lam Harlan Haynes. lie was a man
who stood for what he belicved--and
he stood right thcre-evcn though
the gates Of hell should attempt to
prevail against him. Men Of stead
fastness Of purpose-such as hc-are
the men who will be needed for the
coming troublous years
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-01-24

We have had just one too many
fatal accidents in the last few days
through the carelessn ess-criminal
at that - Of speed crazed motor
cranks II the people wake up some
morning and see trees decorated with
suspended motor crGzed drivers, no
one is going to weep much-outside
Of immediate relatives OF the decend-
ents.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-01-24
BRYAN'S FORMER" DINNER
FRIENDS

At 1880 on the morning following
the Jackson day dinner Cor rather the
dinner continued until that time)
Col Bryan arose to speak, and among
other things that he is reported to
have said the New York Sun says:
Former banquets, he said. had di-
Yided into three parts. The first was
devoted to eating and drinking
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-01-24
"Was q Uowling Success

1t can be readily noticed that the
facility with which Mr. Bryan is able
to get his foot in his mouth" has
not diminished one whit during the
years since he retired so precipitately
from public life at Washington. As
a "discordant note" at the democratic
love feast. he was sure some bowling
County Gazette.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-01-24
1roublcn That Never Como

Now it appears that all the ills
Kansas City was to fall heir to in
January as a result of the fuel crisis
have vanished into thin air and the
coal situation has settled down to
normal" SO it is with most of the
anticipated trouble of humanity
Kansas City Times.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-01-24

II you have not been reached by the
census enumerator, or il any one in St.
Joseph that you know has not been
for the sake of your city-the best
one in the world-and the one i'm
which you live-go at once and notify,
or call supervisor Graham and get
that name on the census rolls. You
are not loyal to St. Joseph unless you
do so.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-01-24

II is noticeable that already the
propaganda Is being put in circula-
ton that '1f we vote the $50, 900, 900
bond issue for good roads this sum-
mer it will not increase your taxa
ton" This is probably good cam
psign fodder, but the man who cir
culates it is just a plain liar.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-01-24
As CIoae As Hi VIII Get

1t looks as though the next presi-
dent of the United States is to be
nominated in the state of Senator
less, as close as Senator Hiram may
ever reasonably hope to get to the
sidency.-Linneus Bulletin.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-01-24

Col L. L. Morse met at the Elms
Hotel in the City Of Excelsior Springs
on the 9TH day of January and unani-
mously nominated John T. Frost of
Plattsburg for Congress as the nom-
inee of the Republican party of this
district to be voted on at the special
election on February 14th.-Gallatin
Democrat.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-01-24

EX-Mayor Marshall still wears that
confident smile-and well he may for
he has the balance OF the &. o. p.
bunch who would run for mayor.
-bIacked off the boards and into the
sewer
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-01-24

A New York Judge who talks about
"Hici<ville" and who probably judg-
ing from his decision halls from that
burg. has decided that some of the
greatest mothers smoked dgaretts,
Wen, perhaps they did--but we will
always feel with an honest pride thai
our mother was not given to the dirty
habit. .y.x;.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-01-24

A News-Press headline says that
"the liquor problem will be a political
Issue" Wrong you are neighbor. The
country is dry and there is no liquor
problem.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-01-24

The first man to be arrested in St.
Joseph for boozing-since we went
dry-refused to tell where he got his
hooze and went to the calaboose in
place. There was principle in not
te,ling-and drunk or sober, he show
ed he could be trusted.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-01-24

II there Is anything that downright
lying will do to get this country in
volved in war with Mexico in order
that the exploitcrs (American) may
steal what they desire from the Mex
leans, the exponents of that art Oy-
ing) are certainly hard and fast on
the job.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-01-24

There is no need of a grand jury
for the coming term of criminal court
for isn't the country dry?-and
didn't the drys tell us that if the Unit
ed States went dry there would not
even be need of laws of any kind?
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-01-24

What's the matter with Faucet,
Buchanan County, Missouri, United
States Of America--for here comes
democratic justice of the peace and
resigns just as prohibition is going
into effect.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-01-24
Without a stomach Pnmn

A few more prohibition decisions
by the United States supreme court
will force us to conclude that that
court is dry. They have gone as far
as they can now without the use Of
stomach pump.-Moberly Democrat.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-01-24

Leslie Walters, the Ford car young
exploiter who was acquitted in criminal
court Tuesday could have saved him
self and his bondsmen much unne-
cessary trouble. had he not jumped
his bond on those two occasions.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-01-24
Walt and Jake Always Do

Unless the Republicans keep a care
full watch Walter Dickey and Jake
Babler will continue to mould the
party in Missouri to their ends.-Cole
County Rustler.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-01-24
FUNDS FROM IDDE Ron WOMEN

When one of the best known of the
American pro-bolshevist intellectuals
was testifying before committee of
the Senate this week he is reported
to have said that the bolshevists can
always readily obtain funds for their
propa ganda from rich, idle women
who have nothing else 10 do. The
cold cynicism of this remark deserves
to be Classed with Lenine's famous
statement, at the third soviet confer
ence: Among 100 so-caIled bolshc-
visits there is one real bolshevist with
thirty-nine criminals and sixty fools"
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-01-24

President TAFT will be here next
month to make a speech in the Audi
tnrium-but this time it costs real
money to hear him-as it is the dol
lars that he is after this time
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-01-24

In the defeat Of Ed Iancey as a
candidate for congress in the Alex
ander district, one Of the strongest
and hest democrats Of that part Of
the state. was left out of the running.
Capt MIlligan, who won, is strong
man himself and should lead his
party to victory next month. Judge
Sullinger and Lewis Reed also made
a good showing at the convention.
c. l.. Ficklin also ran.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-01-24

From the way in which the fellows
who rob cellars of their wet goods"
are turned loose, or very lightly pun
ished by the Courts--it would appear
not punishable offenses in this state
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-01-24
Is Too Much Bother

After reading all the rules neces-
sary to observe in order to have pos
session Of booze legally, many persons
will feel it will he less bother not to
have any.-Kansas City Times
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-01-24

We will cheerfully he one Of a
posse 10 go up and caustically in
terview weather prophet Belden, as to
why he allows such a change at the
present time.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-01-24
Or ANY One Else

We heard one OF our country
friends say the other day that a col
lege education never had made a
young man anxious to milk a COW in
a muddy lot.-Craig Leader.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-01-24
Drink FTrst-Then Look

1t might serve as some warning to
color wood alcohol blue. as has been
suggested, but there will always be
those who will drink first and look
at the color afterwards.-Kansas City
Times
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-01-24

II news print paper gets much high
or, the dear people will either go with
out newspapers. or else the price will
he forced up on them. This paper
LAS steadrastly refused 10 increase
either subscription or atvcrtis'ng rat
es, and hopes to man In this policy
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-01-24
Tho Amenities at HopIeins

One of our big footed neighbors
tried to buy a pair of shoes in Hop
kins Saturday but could not find a
No. 10 in that city. Big feet may be
going out of style. Anyway the mer-
chants have quit ordering the big
sizes since Tom schoonover left the
country. Journal
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-01-24

There is no need of movie censor
Jim O'Brien eliminating saloon scenes
from the St Joseph films. There is no
booze to be had, and anticipation with
out realization don't count nowadays.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-01-24

The dear people are getting very
tired of reading each day about what
is to be done to cut down the high
cost of Iiving-and then seeing moth
ing done.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-01-24

If many more freight cars are brok-
en- open and robbed OF groceries il
will soon be in order for new stores
to open up and sell goods at reduced
prices.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-01-24

If Elliot Marshall had as good
chance as has his cousin, ]. NJ. Par
ker. who was nominated Wednesday
on q real--dem ocratic-tic
might be a show for him.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-01-24
Illustrates Wildcat Ideas

The Plumb plah to nationalize the
railroads is an excellent example of
the wildcat theories INDUCED in by
Socialists, an utterly impossible
scheme.--Glasgow Missourian.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-01-24

Send in your name now-today to
Census Supervisor Graham-and send
in the names Of those others whom
you know have been missed. St JOS
eph MUST have its proper showing.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-01-24
Only EauaIIed by the Othcr

The number OF men running for the
presidency is exceeded only by the
number of men not running for the
vice presidency Journal.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-01-24

Why should Mayor Whitsell retain
an excise officer, now that St. JOS
eph is totally dry? Did not the dry
fellows tell us that after the dry spell
come on there would be no law-break-
ers?
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-01-24
Truly a Happy Country

And our idea of happy country is
one where you can buy a suit for $40
that formerly sold for fifty and is
actually worth thirty.-Kansss City
Post.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-01-24

own Champ Clark is going TO do.
Champ knows-and 30 will the world
when he is ready TO tell--and when
he does, there will be something do
Ing.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-01-24
II MIgil Help His Boom

No doubt II would help Mr.. Hoov-
er's young boom IL he would find
something for housewives to do with
all those food substitutes which have
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-01-24

As that blizzard sidestepped us
Wednesday, it has been decided to al
low weather prophet Belden to still
live a few days longer in our midst.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-01-24

There has been no serious trouble
at the schools on the vaccination order
but there are many people who true
ly believe that it is not the duty of
the board to enforce such an order.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-01-24
should Send Over Here

Labor also is poorly distributed.
There are not enough janitors over
here. and Switzerland Is full of de-
posed kings.-St. Louis Times.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-01-24
Ii Is Less Temptation

A cloth jacket is warmer than a
fur-lined coat because there is less
temptation to leave it open.-Sedalia
Capital.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-01-24
The Man Who Walks Like a Bear

Russia was better off as a bear i'm
itating a man than as a man imitat-
ing a bear.-kansas City Post.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-01-24

II is with just a trifle of modesty
and reserve that The Observer would
suggest that there were some Rotar-
lans at the Tuesday forkIess luncheon.
who lest naCherly" felt right at home.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-01-24

II your name Is not on st. Joseph's
census rolls in the next few hours.
YOU lose your opportunity to do your
city real service.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-01-24

The prices charged for the NARROW
Sothern engagement were much high
er than the quality of the play rend-
cred.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-01-24

Wilson cannot win again even
should he so desire. A st. Joseph
minister has said so-and that set
ties it.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-01-24

been cluttering up the basement and
attic since he sold them broadcast
two years ago.-Kansas City Times
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-01-24

There must be something done TO
will need no census.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-01-24

Wonder IL Woodrow Wilson has as
yet been informed of his future
course as ordained by that st. JOS
eph divine?
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-01-24

Candidly speaking. something must
he done with speed crazed autoists.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-01-24
What the Missouri
Editors Are Saying
The New Pronunciation

Wassail is now pronounced with
the accent on the was st. Louis
Times.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-01-24

until the situation clears UP and a
few profiteers are tried.
Taiban Valley news., 1920-07-02
WAL FROM THE PESSIMIS7
Unkind Remark Might Have Tended to
Becloud the Happiness of Pro-
spectve Bridegroom.

lie was young man who had come
into town to be married. At the sta-
tion he inquired for a minister and
tie names and addresses of several
we've given him. But all of them
seemed so far from the station that
he asked for one nearer
well. | don't know of any nearer
than this one" the informer pointed
to one number. But you'll find jus
tice of the peace just about block
frrm here, SON"
The young man shook his head. 81
don't want justice of the peace" he
said 81 don't like the sound of that
man leaning against the window
rose
ooh, you won't mind so much after
ward about that sound" he said. This
affair is gOin' to mark the end of all
the peace you've ever had"
Taiban Valley news., 1920-07-02

of the male sex and had the horns,
tail and legs of goats. They we're mis-
chievous creatures and sent the night
mare. To meet them or dream of
them was accounted by the ancents as
unlucky, in spite of the dream Of
Alexander This would seem to ac-
count for the dictum of the modern
mystics that to dream of a billygoat
is unlucky, though to dream of killing
one or seeing one killed is favorable
omen: the latter probably originating
from the killing of a goat as sin Of
fering mentioned in Leviticus. And
the Interpretation of a dream of see
ing only the goats horns-that 1t fore
tells bad luck-is easily traced to the
prophets dream of the fight between
the goat and the ram in the eighth
chapter of Daniel. A few of the en-
prizes say that 20 dream of nanny
goats. especially If white is good luck.
tCopyright)
Taiban Valley news., 1920-07-02
II You Need a Medicine
You Should Have the Best

Have you ever stopped to reason why
it is that so many products that are ex
tensively advertised, all at once drop Out
of sight and are soon forgotten? The
reason is plain-the article did not fulfil
the promises of the manufacturer. This
applies more particularly to a medicine
A medicinal preparation that has rea
curative value almost sells itself, as like
an endlese chain system the remedy is
recommended by those who have been
benefited, to those who are in need of it
A prominent druggist says "Take fol-
example DR.. Kilmer's Swamp Root, a
preparation / have sold for many years
and never hesitate to recommend. for in
almost every case it shows excellent re-
suits, as many of my customers testify
No other kidney remedy has so large a
sale"
Accor ding to sworn statements and
verified testimony of thousands who have
used the preparation, the success of DR.
kilmer's Swamp Root is due to the fact
so many people claim, that it fulflls al
most every wish in overcoming kidney,
liver and bladder ailments; corrects uri'
Aary troubles and neutralizes the uric
arid which causes rheumatism.
You may receive a sample bottle OF
SNamp-Root by Parcels Post. Address
DR.. Kilmer G. Co.. Binghamton. N. Y.
and enclose ten cents; also mention this
paper. Large and medium size bottles
for sale at all drug stores.-Adv.
Taiban Valley news., 1920-07-02

begged the men frantically to save the
girl who was being burned to death.
Never mind her" shouted one Of
the men. "Come on" With that he
grabbed her and started pulling her
down the road. Another car came
along and the two men forced the
girl into the second machine and sped
away.
Burned to a Cinder.
In the meantime the girl under the
car had become flaming torch. Her
screams had ceased by the time Mr..
Kutillas reached the scene. Fischer
was working frantically to extinguish
the blaze. He was joined by Kutillas
and a number of men returning from
a dance.
Mrs. Kutillas telephoned an alarm
of fire and 1t was not until the fire.
men arrived and extinguished the
blazing gasoline that the charred body
of the girl could be removed from the
pyre.
Her form had been burned to q Gin
der, A wrist watch had been fused
by the heat. II was so badly damaged
that 1t could not serve as an identid-
cation mark. Protected by the girls
body lay a purse containing some
charred papers and business cards Of
firms In Montclair, Newark and Jersey
City.
Taiban Valley news., 1920-07-02
Just Folks
By EDGAR A. GUEST
THE CHANCE.

1--WE never had chance" said he.
His statement interested me.
i traced his record back to find
Just what had kept that man behind.
/ found that one immensely rich
Had one time filed the station, %hich
This grumbing fellow occupied.
He hadn't felt his hands were tied
Another started where he stood
And he had certainly made good
The task was very commonplace,
And irksome, too, and hard to race.
But several men their spurs had won
Because their best they'd always done
And past this humble post could see
The better jobs that were to be.
From humber stations, too, | learntu'
That others had promotion earned.
They'd hadn't felt they weren't con-
PEELED
To failure by the jobs they held.
With vision they bad clearly seen
That there's no duty quite so mean.
But. we'll performed within 1t brings
The chance for bigger, better things.
If you've a job then never wall
That you're a victim, doomed to fall
No man can hide what you can do.
So thoroughly from sight as you.
Your worth the meanest place will tell
If only you will do 1t well.
You've got chance to rise or fall
If you possess a job at all.
Copyright by Edgar A. Guest)
Taiban Valley news., 1920-07-02

TOO often men take the testing as the
consignment to defeat. The pOssiblli.
" of such thing should stir all the
red blood to rebellion. The reu man
rises In proportion to the task and
becomes stronger with the struggle
Only the unfit are long canned" foI
they never learn from experience. The
really fit come from the ordeal strong
er to meet new situations because OF
trial and rejoice that they can win or
their own merit. SO do your best apt
you can show the world you can't )
canned. Grit.
Taiban Valley news., 1920-07-02
LastNight'sDrean1s
What They Mean
DID YOU DREAM ABOUT eoATs1

FREUD states that modern dream
II books are but plagiarisms of an
cient Eastern writings of the same
character and are necessarily bad ones
because in nearly all cases the East
ern interpretations of dreams hung
upon a play upon words which is, OF
course, lost in turning them into anoth-
er language. This statement may he
open to doubt and 1t is rather probable
that the modern empiric Interpretation
of dreams has gradually grown up
through a mingling of Teutonic. Celtic
Gallo and ancient Roman and Greek
superstitions, which would account for
the divergence of the interpretations
with regard to their symbolism.
The most famous dream prophecy
depending upon a play upon words is
that given by the soothsayer, Aris-
tandros. to Alexander when that mon
arch was besiegng Tyre. Alexander
was much disturbed by the stubborn
quent delay in his plans Of conquest.
One night he dreamed that he saw one
of those goatlike NEUROLOGICAL crea-
lures, satyr-Greek Satyros-danc-
ing on his shield. He demanded o..
AristandrOs the meaning of the dream.
At once the soothsayer replied by d-
vidine the word into Sa Tyros (Tyre)
Thine is Tyre. Alexander took the
city.
Although Freud cites this as an ex-
ample of his statement II will he no.
ticed that the play upon words was
Greek and not Oriental. Satyrs were
Taiban Valley news., 1920-07-02
Rann-dOm Reels
BY HOWARD l. RANN

to furnish anything but bubbling
laugh and two baking powder spoons?
The injustice of this arrangement has
ranked in many feminine breast and
has caused close neighbors to refuse
to speak to each other except at
prayer meeting. There is also the
man who is first to get to the table,
but never can see anything to do ex-
cept prophesy rain and fight flies. That
we are humane and tender-hearted
people is shown by the fact that these
two classes are always welcome and
are even given some of the white
meat.
Men are invited to picnics on ac-
count of their lovable attributes and
their ability to produce fire out of
out few men to build the fire and
eat all Of the surplus potato salad
would be a greater failure than an at
tempt to sell envelope chemises on the
African coast. Unmarried men are
much sought after at picnics, as they
know how to hang hammock and
also how to disport themselves there
in. One of the most pathetic sights in
life is picnic party composed entire
~ of old maids who have 10 more use
for hammock than bald-headed
man has for set of military brushes.
Picnics would be more popular If
they were held on high, dry ground,
where the death chant of the coarse,
aggressive mosquito could not be
heard.
f(yopuriubf
Taiban Valley news., 1920-07-02
One More Unfortunate.

Manchester, O.-Identity Of beau
tlful girl buried In graveyard three
miles from here will never be known.
She appeared at farm and was
taken in for the night. She left in
the morning, and three days later she
was found ON a deserted houseboat,
alone and near death from starva-
tion and exposure. When turned over
to local Red Cross workers, she said
IL have cut all home ties. There IL
nothing on me by which can be
identified. don't want my family
to know of my fate" She lived two
days but never made any other state
ment.
Taiban Valley news., 1920-07-02

which is supported by the ratient, per-
spring taxpayer, is lugubrious and
insect life is more animated. Great
care is taken to read the weather fore
cast and pick out day that winds up
in a moist rainstorm. This teaches us
that the United States weather bureau.
agonizing joke. If congress would
quit distributing free garden seeds and
give out trustworthy barometers in
stead, fewer picnic parties would have
to be hauled home in hack and
wrung dry by anxious parents in the
dead of the night.
Picnics are composed of people who
go and people who provide. Why is
1t that so many people are able to- go
to picnic after picnic and never have