Cayton's weekly. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1916-1921, 1920-04-10
STORYETTEs
S. F. Argonaut

PRESENCE or nina is great tnnS. "A BOY
came running to his father with the news
that man had fallen through the open coal
hole. "Clap the cover on quick and call
the policeman said his father. eve must
arrest him for trying to steal our coal or
he will be suing us for damages
school teacher who had been telling
class of small pupils the story of the discov-
cry Of America by Columbus ended it with:
"And all this happened more than four hun
dred years ago." A little boy, his eyes
wide open with wonder, said after mo.
ment's thought, "Gee! What a memory
you We got''
The Bishop Of Birmingham, speaking on
the subject of church-going, told of one
clubman saying to another: "Hallo There's
Thompson and his wife on their way to
church. I wonder what's up?'' cts
either,' said the second clubman, "that
Thompson has had another attack of heart
trouble, or else Mrs. Thompson has got
new Dress
1t was in a big cotton manufacturing
town in Lancashire, where revival service
had been held. At the close the minister
called upon all those who wished to go to
Heaven to stand up. All rose to their feet
with the exception of one young man.
'Dont you want. to 90 to Heaven, my
friend?' asked the preacher. ooh, aye, I
want to 90, rect enough" the young fellow
replied, ''but not wi this trip.'
cabinet member was talking about a
certain strike. Sometimes the employ
ers,' he said land sometimes again the
workmen, have queer idea of humor in
these strike troubles They rather remind
me of the chap who repented Of his engage.
ment. So said friend, you can't see
any way of getting out Of the agement
honorably, eh 2 NO, the chap groaned, mot
unless I can lick her six brothers, all bigger
men than I ann
The crucial moment had arrived at last
The great notwithstanding the final ad-
justment and treasured by a timely tick
held the instrument to his ears els this
you, Mars?" eyes, came the faint answer,
translated by CODE elbow many people
have you got up there 20 "Oh, we're limited
to a couple of hundred Millions We auto.
maticaly get rid Of all bores, diplomats,
and literary freaks as soon as they become
KNOWN ''Anything to drink 20 "My! yes
We keep it in public fountains, free for
all" "Smoke?' ''Most expensive cigar is
cents" GLOW are the girls?'' 'EAll
homely ones Immediately destroyed "Any
income taxes?" "No taxes at ALL We
The great scientist rang bell. When his
assistant came in he said quietly: "Harold
when press this button I shall be no more
Please ship my astral body to Mars at once
by Einstein's Dynamic Express. Coming
Mars!'.
public gathering in country town was
interrupted by the entrance of one who
made his way to the platform and whisper
eel excitedly to the chairman: els Mr..
Smith in the audenc e?'' broke forth the
presiding o Ger. CT am informed that his
house is afire." Forty gentlemen sprang to
their feet. ''It is the house Of Mr.. John
Smith, added the chairman "Thank
God!" fervently exclaimed one man, resum-
ing his seat
With the noiseless tread typical to the
feline Thomas Cat, as dawn was breaking,
ne crept slowly to the family water bucket
and there surveyed his miserable reflection.
"Great heavens!" he exclaimed Zone ear