The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1920-01-08

Elbridge Gerry, the young Nev
York society leader, who contribute,
greatly last winter to the entertain
ment Of American soldiers ct Nice
tells many doughboy anecdotes. "Th'
average doughboy," said Mr.. Gerry
sis no admirer Of the Frenchwomani
exaggerated makeup -rouged lips
painted eyebrows. and very thick lay
er Of powder. ! was strolling one da,
on the Promenade des Anglais with 4
young corporal when an extremely
chic and at the same time much made
up French girl passed. There"
said to my corporal, what do yor
think Of herr" The corporal, ! Texas
farmer, eyed the young woman for a
minute and then said: "Well, sir, it's
bad ground that takes so much top
dressing"
For an example Of really hard luck
1t is difficult to beat the following
Bill Sykes was arrested for "loitering
with intent" and when brought before
the magistrate was sentenced to "three
months--hard." Upon hearing his
sentence Bill Sykes leaned over the
rail Of the dock and, snatching up a
metal inkpot from off the solicitors
table, he flung it with all his might
at the magistrate. The magistrate
ducked and the inkpot smashed its
way through beautiful stained glass
window and out into the street. The
ink here spilled over on the new
dress Of a young lady walking along
the pavement, and she shrieked 30
much that her voice frighten-
ed horse drawing 4 cab containing
two people. The horse bolted down
the street and ran straight into
crockery shop, injuring the two pas
sengers, at the same time smashing
up about hundred pounds worth Of
crockery. And now the point where
the hard luck comes in is that the
of the crockery shop, the
Two injured passengers, the cab driver,
and the lady whose dress was ruined
are all suing the magistrate for dodg-
ing the inkpotl
at just beats the band" remarked
Old Bill Misgiyens, chow many people
aff -
When I used to live on Willow creek
| knew a Teller named Jim Slimley.
Jim used to swallow everything and
get into lot Of trouble on account Of
t. He used to swaller the seeds of
my sort Of fruit he ate and at the
'ame time was very fond of the water
hat came down the creek Now, any
me who has looked at Willow creek |
water in the sring Of the year would
,e willing to swear that it was not fit |
o drink on account of the mud it con-
aimed. But Jim didn't mind it bit. |
he mud settled in his stomach, how
yer, and as it is good rich mud and
'ill grow anything that is planted in
), the seeds ne ate took root, although
e didn't know it at the time. By and
y Jim complained Of not feeling we'll.
wo or three doctors looked him over
nd felt Of his pulse and made him
tick out his tongue, but they owned
p that the case puzzled them. Jim
aid that he felt as if he was full Of
aves, and once in while he would
,ugh up bunch Of twigs. He kept
citing worse and the doctors decided
cut him open and see what was the
after. They got one of the big sur
cons of Boise to come and oversee
Z job and they opened Jim's stomach. /
ell, sir, they found that there was {
'ur inches of Willow creek mud set
ed in his stomach and all the seeds ,
, had swallowed for six months had ,
ken root and were growing to beat c
10 band. There were Is young cher !
: trees, Is apple sprouts, dwarf :
'ars and 26 raspberry bushes. They
ok them out and transplanted them
I'd sewed Jim up again, after scrap
z the mud out of his stomach. Jim
It we'll and was as clipper as
'ung lamb in an alfalfa patch in
de of three weeks, and that nursery
started in his stomach turned out
: be the finest variety ever seen in
is country. But Jim was mighty
reful after that about how he swal-
wed the seeds when he was eating
nit of any kind"