The news scimitar. (Memphis, Tenn.) 1907-1926, 1920-09-09

NSOAiIlHueO fTOIn FlrSL Page,
20 points. Then ] proceed to apply
some specific health tests, as | shall
now describe. l am a cold blooded doc
Tor: Having taken the poor fellow s
clothes away from him and inspected
him to make sure he is not euuIpped
win wooden legs or liver pads or any
thing like that, l tell him to have a
chair and keep cool while count his
Pulse II necessary, waste few min
utes gossiping with him until feel
sure he is not excited | should find his
pulse rate somewhere between so and
80 beats in the minute Say IL is 10
beats. then have him lie down for y
Few minutes and count again 1t should
be at least five beats slower. not mora
than ten beats slower not slower than
50 In this instance. Then the subject
stands erect and count again. The
pulse rate should now be at least five
beats faster than in the sitting posture,
N5put not over ten beats faster, that is.
not over 80 per minute in this instance
II my man passes this test, l credit
him another five points.
| next weigh and measure stature
The mans chest measurement or ex-
pansion Is of no interest, since these
data have no bearing on health. But
am particular about the Patio stripped
= weight bears to height There must
be not over 5 per cent variation above
pr below these figures if am to credit
tue man dIOlneF 1--WE points.
Weight, lbs, 1872 1888 146 1876 165 176
For every two pounds variation over
b per cent mark off one point.
! now pull the sphygmomanometer on
the victim, bid him look pleasant If pos
sible, and slip the cuff over his arm
with few encouraging words about his
Zine response to the tests or some SINH
lar compliment, to reassure him. In a
jiffy have his blood pressure filed in
the archives. 1t must be somewhere
between los and 1870 millimeters (systo-
lie pressure) and the diastolic pressure
must he somewhere between IS and
80 milimeters. II the pressure falls
within these limits, l credit the man
another five points on his health stand
ing.
.rext I hold the watch while the sub
ject holds his breath. He must hold
his breath 40 seconds in order to pass
this test / deduct one point for every
five seconds short of the 40. If he lasts
40 seconds without air, | credit him with
five points.
We now pick out a nice soft SPOT on
the floor, it being immaterial whether
there is a rug or not, and l have my
victim roll somersault on the floor
for me. He must come right up on his
feet and smiling in such way, that
may feel assured the somersault has not
left him dizzy. He wins another five
points Il he passes this test. If he
cant roll he is not an Al specimen
If there are two ordinary flights of
stairs at hand the next test calls for
deep knee flexion. The staircase test
is simnle-the subject skips lightly up
two flights. At the top he sits or
hnd listen to his heart. The heart goes
thump -thump- thump against the chest
and works fast. If there Is no heavy
thump-thump, I count off two or three
points If the pulse does not slow to
its original resting rate within three free
points But If the heart throbs forci--
sbly and loudly against the ribs and
slows down within the three minute
period of rest, l credit the man five
more points If no stairs are available
7 have the man stand with hands on
hips and make Is or 20 deep knee flex-
ions (squatting as low as possible and
right up again) as a substitute for the
stair climbing Efforts if he is heavier,
more If he is lighter in weight.
Finally, allow five points for bowel
and kidney function. apportioning 2R
points for normal bowel function (no de-
pendence on physics) and 2h points
for normal kidney function as deter.
mined by chemical and microscopical
urinalysis and the time required for the
kidneys to eliminate a definite dose of
a chemical physicians employ in esti-
mating this function.
So you see a subject has to be a
pretty healthy specimen all around in
order to get mark of 100 per ceent in
health from me.
If you think 1t is easy to convince me
of your perfect health pray try few of
these simple tests on your old meta |
bolism and if you fall down on any of
them, take my advice and tell your !
troubles to some good doctor.
Examining Governor Cox.
I caught the governor at the execu-
tive mansion bright and early in the |
morning. In fact, / camped in his re- |
ception room before he was up. If a |
man is at all deficient physically, that |
is the time to detect the deficiency
shortly after he crawls out of bed in the |
morning. ] was there to get something |
on my victim if could. 1t is a strange |
Thing, how surgeon loves to explore" |
&nd health specialist enjoys unearth- |
ing physiological deficiencies. Then, |
besides, there isn't much fun in writ |
ing about normality. You will readily |
understand, therefore, why l yearned |
to take my victim unawares.
II some one purposed to subject me |
TO health examination and came but |
ling in before breakfast in the morning,
/ should give his waiting capacity a |
thorough trial. I'd have my breakfast |
Irst and then in a leisurely way I'd |
let the health specialist have look at |
me, but not until then. Possibly that |
Is one reason why am not a governor |
nor candidate for president Gov.
Cox came to me as soon as he was |
dressed and offered to submit to exami- |
nation Immediately, but his very pro- |