davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-12-09
Beatrice Fairfax
ON
Advice.
A nREATH OF FRESH An.
ON
Advice.

DEAR MISS FAiRFhA'
have read so much adverse criticism Of girls
in your column and expressions OF BELIEF that the
present-day girl is shallow that l want to tell
Won of something / saw this morning.
A girl got on the at Union Station--a beau
tiful girl too-and her friends called her
"Helen" She got OF the car at Seventeenth and
II streets and so did about twenty-five other
people, They all saw blind man there strik-
ing the street with his cane and cropping for the
door She said May l help you" and taking
his arm, guided him carefully yet unanecteJly
into the car and put him in the seat nearest
the door.
feel better for having seen her, and know
she must be "A real girl There are lots and lots
OF "Helens" in this world. AN OLD LADY.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-12-09
g. EARD>n5s5EEnf5;|A
OUR "INSEPARABLES."

BY U. D. T.--SAYDE and VIOLA.
Internal Revenue Bureau, 1880 f.
street.
BY GLADYS-HARRY LEIMBACH
and EDDIE PLANT.
BY Mrs. D.-GEORGE WINTERS
and MAX MERKER-
BY PECK-Best known ones I can
think Of: EDNA NAE RYAN and
ELSIE ROBERTSON, of the Domino
dramatic Club. and CHARLIE MARI
ShAL and JOE NORRIS, of the Ship
ping Board.
BY o. H. Y-"HICK" and JOHN, tho
Cough Drop Brothers," at 18th and
X southeast; also, BILL and JOE,
Matted MIX Twins" same place.
By sILICUS-Hook and eye, hide
and seek.
BY c. E,-SELMA LEvENSoN and
SADIE BROWN '
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-12-09
Economic Monroe Doctrine May
,4 Have To Be Declared

The United States now consumes 900 barrels
petroleum year Twenty years ago needed only $4,000
600 barrels Its production already less by oQOOOOO
barrels than its needs The future Of its industry require
not only intensive development Of home supplies but als
new developments in foreign lands. .. "f
We produce nearly 10 per cent of the worlds supply
The Geologic Survey gives only twenty years Of LII
to domestic supply. Even II we shall draw powe
from falling water to take the place Of steam power OF
machinery will continue to need lubricants Petroleum
the source Of effective fabrication.
Any foreigner group of foreigners under our laws
may buy lease oil bearing land in the United States
develop it equal terms with native developments
great reserve Of OIL for illustration should be dis
covered in the sands of Long Island there nothing
prevent British French development company from &C
curing rights erecting wells and refneres, constructing
pipe lines and docks Long Island and shipping oil and
oil products anywhere In the world.
Thus q new oil field in the United States is much
and as freely contribution to world needs the
field TO be opened in newly discovered island or
continent. II f..N
Not so with oil fields in territory under the political
control of Great Britain or France.
These foreign nations have adopted radically different
policy Thus France requires that French nationals shall
hold least 67 per cent of control in all oil companies
operating In French territory In certain mandate terri
tory notably Mesopotaa Great Britain exacts rs per
cent CONTROL but by agreement permits France to assume
the remaining Is per cent In Rumania British and French
oil exploters pledged to $3.50 Their agreements
Russian oil fields in the present Russian government
is replaced obedent to their will have not been
disclosed The Cadman Berhelot pact negotiated at San
Reno last April merely provides in article 6:
HIn the territories belonging to the former Russian
empire the two governments will give their support to
their respective nationals in their efforts with
view to obtain petroleum concessions and facilities
for export, and to insure the delivery of petroleum
supplies" - ..-....
More than half the 5000 merchant ships built by our
Government during the oil for fuel The time has
evidently for a American oil policy.
If oil fields in foreign to become monopoies
of Great Britain and France, with Americans barred out
home hospitality to foreigners may have to be
revised
An economic Monroe Doctrine might well supplement
the existing ban European territorial invasions Of the
Western Hemisphere in the form of the dctum that until
all natural everywhere administered terms
of equal economic opportunity the natural Of
the New World shall be barred to exploitation by the Old
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-12-09
try AGAIN.


I am egteen years old, and am very tond
Of n rirI seventeen. This girl attends high
school and as | do not want TO Interfere with
her night studying. do not try to see her on
q night she does her lessons But not long ago
I ask ed her to go to an entertainment that only
comes off once a year, this being one OF her
school nights. She agreed to go, but when the
time came she said she could not go because IL
was raining, but don't you think II she really
wanted to GO. that little rain would not stop
her left that evening without making a date
to see her again; but as am very anxious to do
so, l am asking your advice. -
DISHEARTENED.
Do not become discouraged because n girl
breaks an engagement with you an
eleventh hour. Sometimes things intervene
which she does not care to explain TO you. Try
her again.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-12-09

WE'D BEEN away.
AND WHEN VIC got
home.
THERE WASN'T any
ice.
AND 1T was Saturday.
AND NEXT day was
Sunday.
AND COMPANY was
coming.
AND l had to go out.
AND sCURRY
around.
DOWN IN Easements.
AND NONE of them.
HAD A bit Of ice.
AND l went home.
AND TOLD my wife.
AND SHE suggested,
WE ASH our neiRn-
Dor.
IN THE next flat.
If SHE would mind.
If WE put our meat.
AND OTHER stuff.
FOR OUR Sunday
dinner.
IN HER icebox.
AND SHE said we
might.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-12-09
WRITE HIM AGAIN.
DEAR MISS FAIRFAX:

DENN MISS FNINFNN'
have been going with young man for
several months, and was very much In love with
him. He pretended to think n great deal OF me.
Three weeks ago heard through my cousin
that he going with some one else, which
made very angry I wrote him very
mean letter. for which am very sorry, and Il
made him mad Please tell me how I get
him back. BLUE EYES.
write him another letter and tell him that
you are sorry.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-12-09
TRAFFIC. SUGGESTIONS.

To eliminate traffic accidents I
suggest that stairs and elevated
sidewalks be installed at all
crossings. As the pigeons Of the
town are alone immune to acci-
dent, we might profit by the fact
that our only safety seems to be
in getting above the auto level.
The expense of construction
might be borne by
l. Those chaufeurs who now
get mad II they miss you.
2. Pedestrians who now hike
in circles like goldfish.
SILICUS.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-12-09
Ru, here's one that will give
en- trouble: When was mix 'ne
hiqhcst2 W.

"sHOW-ME" says that men
nearly always push the street-car
buzzers with their thumbs. And
Darwin informs us that other mon
keys open mussel-shells with the
two thumbs" HOMO.
A clergyman who advertised for an
organist received this reply:
Dear sir--I notice you have .
vacancy for an organist and
music teacher, either lady or gen
tlsnan. Having been both for sew
ersi years. I beg to apply for the
position. n. s. L.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-12-09
rvTuy PARAGRAPHS.

The sim Feiners and the Heard
md Sceners share the attention OF
the world
II. and s. is no grindstone' rake
our axes some othor place. And
49,, write flattering notes to Bill
the hope of getting space.
som. fellows are rafting good talk
RS, like some flivvers are RATTLlNG
.ood flivvers.
II YOU can halfway AFFORD 1t be
Good Fellow" II you can't anord
be one anyhow.
4 good line OF talk + a good line OF
.,rformance = good line of credit.
FRED VETTER.
Here's hoping that Christmas tic.
ion in December magazines will not
hegin with Twas the night before
Christmas"
PHILIP EBERT.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-12-09

They say she accepts rings
from men she never saw.
That's terrible
yes, she's teIepno"e
o,orator" q. v. NJ.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-12-09
"GOLDIE- WILL BE THERE

Will it interest your army of fans
to know that CrandalPs York Theater,
at Georgia avenue and Quebec street,
this Friday revives the ancient and
more or less honorable custom of
amateur night" and that your own
COLLIDE Is to sing, having been ac-
cepted as an aspirant for honors by
Manager Nat Glasser7 COLLIDE mod
estly bills herself as a vocalist with
a voice as golden as her curls," which
leads ME to breathe a fervent prayer
that she may not prove to be a
brunette! My thanks, noble scribe,
for your tolerance and the fun you
give US. ANN BEEBE.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-12-09
MEANT YES" ALL THE TIME.

y. a.kcd IL she ever could love nun
She answered him NO on the spot,
VI ssked II she ever could love MIN
She assured him again she eoa'u "0>'
10 asked II she ever could love nun
sh. laughed TIL his bushes ne mo
Re asked IL she ever could ,oNe MN
Then she admitted she did r,,x
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-12-09
a0orLEG COURAGE.

"I want something pretty strong
We'll" said the bootlegger. you We
card Of II making rabbit slap
bulldog in the face. Well, this Stun
Yin make a tenant snap his myers
under his landlords nose ME-
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-12-09

We've got'to have posterlty to have wars. All
wars are fought for posterity, So are the taxes.
II we don't have the little half fare citizens
around now, there will be nobody who can take
the burden off our shoulders in 1910 and put It
chests. The thought OF empty cradle
In every American home for the next century
IL enough to make every Yank husband step
forth and float his sorrows in drink He knows
that he afford 1t under those circumstances.
II the women carry out thefr threat every
day will be a Blue Sunday with husbands,
no babies. no nothing There will be no little
Democrats following in fathers footsteps up to
the old corner glue parlor only TO find that the
key has rusted in the lock. No small Republi-
cans to inherit their papa's estate consisting
mostly of a non-partisan vote for the highest
bidder.
The husbandcott wouldn't be feasible because
of the large amount Of strikebrakcrs arriving
every day at Ellis Island The women of Eu-
rope know that the world war was fought by
babies. But they were the babies OF 1908. Tn,
infants OF 1920 may stage a battle in 1870 but a
plebiscite of the two-year-olds falls to Indicate
any signs OF concerted action.
Whatever sinister designs the matted milk
inebriates are concesling under their two.ses-
old soft boiled coronal sutures, they seem
to be paoifists now.
OF course some babies do resemble their pspas,
but don't Judge infant fer what he does
twenty years later
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-12-09
We TOWNE GOSSIP
Registered u. S. Patent ofnce
J. s. Patent ONCE.
BY X. c. B.

AND | took it in.
AND ON Sunday.
ALONG ABOUT
noon.
| RANG their bell.
AND NO one an
swered.
AND ! waited.
FOR A little while.
AND RANG it again.
AND NO one an
swered.
AND l went down.
TO THE hallboy.
AND HE said.
THEY GOT a tele-
gram.
EARY THIS morn
ing.
AND WENT right
away,
AND WE had Sunday
dinner.
IN A restaurant.
FOR SIS.
AND BESIDES that,
WE LOST a good
roast.
AND A lot of other
stuff.
I THANK YOU.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-12-09
USE YOUR GRIT-NEvER QUIT.


You're sick OF the game" we'll now that's
You're young and you're brave. and you're
bright.
you've had 4 raw deai,'' know, but don't
sQueai.
Buck up and do your dsmndest and
Hsht!
IT'S the plugging away that will win you
So don't be a plker, old pard,
just draw on your grit: never want TO quit,
It's keeping your chin up that 10 hard
It's easy to cry that you're ee'''n-'nd
IT'S easy to be s.iash and crawl; -.
But to nght and to night when hopes oso
why that's the ses, game of them all
And though you can come out Of each
Al, broken. and beaten. and Scared.
Just have one more try-its easy to die. 4
PHI ..
A TRIr IN SHOW TOWN.
Conrad in Quest Of His YOUTH
met the poor Little Ritz Girl" and
they decided to call on THE Famous
Mrs. Fair" who was still In town.
Finding her out they went to s,e tho
French Frolics" with THE Lady Of
the Lamp"
After that they went to the "Fly,
ing Pat" ranch to sec what the cows
punchers could do with The Brand.
ing Iron"
They were on their way home when
they met the ''Nomads Of the Noreh.N
who were playing In "Ths Ghost Be-
tween They were so excited In
meeting each other that they shouts
ed Hip, Hip Hooray."
PECK.
SAY, What drove You TO drink
~ hsckman drove me to the last
one II. ID. u.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-12-09
Mr.. B. Baer
The Babycott.

The proposed boycott against barbed wire
shaving brashes isn't as important as the baby
colt by the women OF the world There Is also
to be a m8ncott and n husbandcott
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-12-09

The idea is not new and has been tried in diff
ferent circumstances About a yard OF years
ago, a hick burned down his barn to get rid OF
the mice
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-12-09
PHILIP EBERT.
MENTAL ASSOCIATION.

A girl In a private school saiu she
could always recall two punctua.,on
narks--a hat-pin for an exclamation
noin," and , button hook for AN
,,,nrroro,,on II. SMITH.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-12-09

Blaming the war on babies is the only out not
heretofore utilized by diplomats The next
Administration can chalk 1t on its cuff to use in
a pinch
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-12-09

The idea is to put damper on the horrors of
warfare against humanity by eliminating hu-
manity.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-12-09

We've got'to have posterlty to have wars Al
wars are fought for posterity, So are the taxes
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-12-09
A TRIP IN SHOW TOWN.

Say. What drove you TO drink
one II. ID. II.
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1920-03-25
TOM LAWSON
IN LIMBO ON
SILVER DEAL
Manipulation Of Stock
Brings Him in Conflict
With State Law.

Boston. March 25.-The crusade
Of Attorney General Allen against
promoters and brokers who have
been exploiting silver stocks led to
the arrest OF Thomas w. Lawson to-
day. He surrendered himself at
police headquarters to answer to a
warrant charging him with viola--
ing on four counts a state law re-
garding the filing of information on
stock issues. Four other operators
and brokers were arrested yester-
day, including L. G. Van Ripper of
New York, former secretary to
Lawson.
Called Greatest Gamble.
Lawson and Van Ripper in recent
months have been active in the
promotion of silver stocks which in
the Lawson advertising was fea-
tured as "silvers, the greatest
gamble of the age" Each an
nounced he was developing certain
individual silver mine properties as
units Of general holding compan-
les.
In the campaigns the prices Of
individual stocks advanced from a
few cents to $8 or 50, with subse-
quent reversals and fluctuations.
After news of the arrests yester-
day, these prices tumbled further.
Nearly all the silver stocks which
are named in the charges against
Lawson. Van Ripper and the other
men, now are selling for so many
cents a share.
Attracted inexperienced Investors.
1t was the fact that securities
were offered SO cheaply, the attor-
ney general said in statement
yesterday, that attracted to them
a class of persons without invest
ing experience who sacrificed Lib
erty bonds and savings accounts to
obtain funds for stock purchases
in hopes of early riches.
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1920-03-25
BARNES ASKED
TO TELL ABOUT
SALE OF Grain
Market Experts See Nothing
Crooked in Alleged Attempt to
Corner Corn.

Chicago, March Is. - julius H.
Barnes. president OF the United
States Grain corporation, will be
asked to explain recent grain
sales and movements in connec-
tion with an investigation of an al
legged attempt to corner the corn
market, on his arrival here today.
Charles F. Clyne, United States
district attorney. announced.
Mr.. Clyne announced that no evil
dence Of illegal market manipula-
tion had appeared as yet to war
rant prosecution.
Say Scarcity Is Cause.
Market experts and transporta-
tion ofIicials contended the pres
ent high prices and scarcity of
corn were due to natural causes.
The rumored corner is the result
of short selling in anticipation of
spring grain movements and ina
bility OF the railroads to supply
sufficient cars, they told Mr. Clyne.
Reports that the United States
Grain corporation was used by
SPECTATORS in an effort to bring
about a corner in the corn market
will be Investigated, District At
torney Clyne said.
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1920-03-25
PAY INCREASE
AVERTS STRIKE
OF CITY HELP
Ten Per Cent More Ac-
cepted By $4,000 Chi
cago Employees.

Chicago. March 25.-Threats Of
general strike Of municipal en-
ployes were dispelled today as a
result Of action of the city council
yesterday in voting to add $4,000
900 to the $32,255,S30 budget for
1920 to provide an average salary
increase of 10 per cent Of $4,000
workers.
An increase Of $500 annually for
f1remen and policemen was tenta-
lively approved. First grade pa
trolmen and firemen now receive
1880 year.
Seven hundred teamsters who
went on strike several days ago,
tying up collection of garbage and
street cleaning, returned to work
today pending action on their de-
mands for an increase of 81 a day.
Their pay is 50 day.
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1920-03-25
FATHER READY
T0PAY$25,000
TO kIDNAPERS

Lexington. Ky, March 25.-Al-
though E. R. Little, Lexington cap
italist, has announced that the de-
manded ransom would be paid,
Paul Little, his 11-year-old son,
was still a captive tocly Of the
kidnaper who lured him away late
yesterday.
1t was stated that the kidnaper
demanded $500 ransom. Little
announced all demands would be
met, declaring:
Il do not care about the $25. 900
II can get my boy back safely"
The boy disappeared with an un-
identified white man in the late
afternoon. The lads playmates
said he had told them the man had
promised him a dollar to deliver q
box Of candy.
No attempts to arrest the kid
naper will be made, he indicated
and no questions would be asked
il the boy was returned safely.
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1920-03-25
WOULD DIRECT
INVESTIGATION
OF OIL PRICES

Washington. March 25.-Favora-
BILE report was ordered by the
house judiciary committee today on
the resolution directing the feder-
al trade commission to make an
immediate inquiry into recent ad-
vances in the prices of fuel oil:
kerosene, gasoline and other petro-
leum products. The commission
would be required to report to con-
gress by June l.
The commission in making its
report would consider the source
of supply, profits of the oil bust
ness and wether any combination
existed to restrain trade. and if so
what effect it had on retail prices.
A report drafted for the COM
mittee by Representative Dyer.
Republican, Missouri, declared
that at the present time the disposi-
tion and the price of motor fuel is
in the hands of two enormously
powerful capitalist combines,
world wide in their source and il
improperly used, a dangerous
power.
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1920-03-25
DEMAND
WILSON MAKE
intent CLEAR

Washington. March 25.-Both
Democrats and Republicans cheered
a statement in the house today by
Representative Humphreys, Demo-
crat. Mississippi. that President
Wilson should make an immediate
announcement that he was not a
candidate for a third term.
Under no circumstances should
Mr.. Wilson ask for reelection, MIR.
Humphreys said. recommending
passage of an amendment limiting
presidential eligibility to one term.
Public advocacy by the president :
friends and members of his cabinet
that he run a third time has allowed
the country to believe that he will
break an ancient precedent, the
speaker declared.
II regret therefore all the more
that he has remained silent as to
his intentions in the matter Of a
third term" he continued. Il be-
lieve the accomplishments Of his
administration under his great lead
ership will secure for him a place
high on the roll Of our great presi-
dents"
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1920-03-25
near BILLION
ALREADY PAID
IN u. s. TAXES

Washington. d. c.. March 25.-
Income and excess profits taxes
aggregating $90S.S29,172 were paid
as the first installment Of the ma
tons tax bill for 1919.
While these figures do not repre-
sent an exact quarter Of the taxes
for last year, they indicate collec-
tion for the entire year of approx
imately $500, ,000. 900. treasury Of
fcials said last night.
The first installment more than
offsets outstanding treasury certif-
icates of Indebtedness. issued in an
ticipation Of the payment. and
leaves the treasury in . position to
continue its financial program, out
lined several months ago.
Collection for the first period of
1918 were approximately 81, ,200,-
900 900. the reduction this year be-
ing due to the lowering OF the nor
NAL income tax rate. The Sec
ond district Of New York. compris-
ing the heart Of the financial sec
ton. held its place in yielding the
greatest amount Of revenue Of all
collection districts. Its total vas
3154.5o5.sSA
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1920-03-25
Other 1920 Totals.

Other 1920 Totals.
Other population totals given out
today at Washington include:
Steubenville, Ohio. 2S.50S, in
crease GILT, or 27.3 per cent over
1910.
Gloversville, N. Y. 22.026, in
crease 1884, or 81 per cent over
1910.
Sheboygan. Wis, 30,955. increase
1857. or 17.3 per cent over 1910.
Johnstown, N. Y, 10,905, in
crease 45S, or "A per cent over
1910.
Bloomfield, N. j., 22,O11. increase
6,941, or 46.1 per cent over 1910.
ShamOkin, Pa, 21,204, increase
l,616, or So per cent.
Enfield. Conn. 11.70S, increase
1889, or 20.5 per cent.
Asheville. N. c.. 2S,504. an in
,rease Of 9,742, or 51,9 per cent.
Populations of Elgin, ILL.,, Bangor,
Me-. Saratoga Springs, N. Y, and
Columbus, Neb., will be announced
tomorrow at 10:30 a. m.
The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1920-03-25
BEC|NSMOvE
TO WIPE OUT
POLISH ARMY
Soviet Russia Employing
All It's Resources in
Offensive.

Warsaw. March 24.--Bolshevik
attacks have been launched against
the Polish line at scattered points
along a front OF approximately four
hundred miles and the long
planned spring attack Of the soviet
armies apparently has been COM
menced.
While the bolsheviki have made
small advances at some places.
despite the desperate resistance OF
the Poles, the latter have been
holding the enemy in check IN most
sections, say officials statements.
The reds have been compelled to
retreat from several newly ac-
quired positions, but fighting con-
tinues. The soviet troops are using
heavy artillery, tanks, armOred
cars and other apparatus captured
from General Denikine, on the
south Russian front.
Capture Rovno. .
The most severe lighting took
place on Tuesday on the Polesian-
Podoli front near the Galician from
tier, the bolsheviki concentrating
their attacks on this sector In an
effort to capture Rovno, an i'm
portant railroad center, and
Kamenetz-Pod0lsk, city highly
priced because OF its strategic i'm
portance. Further north in the
region of Rzecycza and kalenkow-
itz, northeast of Mozir. the enemy
took several small villages which
were recovered by the Poles.
Use Best Troops.
Heavy engagements are also re-
ported in the vicinity OF Zaslavo.
where the reds attempted to cross
the Slutch river East Of Kamenetz-
Podolsk the battle 10 still going on.
Some crack bolshevfk divisions are
in line along this sector and cav
airy is being used.