The Washington times., 1920-03-15
Am Having My Fling,
Wrote Suicide-SLayer
In Diary of Her Soul
(contInued from First Psgs)

building eating marshmellows from .
bag. Thus at In the msrsisG !
was In sueh pals ] lsaxed ~ Sis.
Even now I do not feel well. Gin
doesn't carry right and ! ~ issisy
respect for him.
AUGUST s.-sunday night-Four
OF us at the Stratford for dinner.
clifford told me that everyone has
the Impression that I'm saybody's
xisi.
| AUGUST 4.-Clir here last night.
God bless him. II IL up 10 s'e 90
prove 10 ~. that rm straight. !
am SO perfectly happy with Ctia.
Could 1 kecsae his wifes Could ]
ever trust any msa sEAnf
AUGUST 6.-Clir saw me at lunch
with Les and was sure sngered. he
lief: at 1880 and was back again as
he had no key home. We read and
talked In the den till dawn. Ciin
is SO wonderful and feel SO insig-
nificant Cliff does like me a little or
he would not spend so much time
with me. His voice is so kind and
gentle when he says, "My little Kit
ten, Kitten" Oh, Cliff! Cliff!
CIia and Ruth Enter "darriaxe Pact
Poor Les was here yesterday sor-
rowful at having broken his vow
that / would be the only woman In
his life. 1 want only Clin.
AUGUST s.-Monday night Les
left for Detroit with Cliff. Report
ed suicide OF Jordan Lambert
AUGUST IL. 1890 p. M.-Sitting
at foot of couch in the den. Cliff
mapping. God bless him. He and
have entered into q marriage pact
according to our own ideas. I am 30
happy. Yesterday saw mamma ana
looked for. apartment for CHE and
INC.
AUGUST 10, THURSDAY 10 A. M
Cliff just left. We are going to
Pistakee Bay to an Italian hotel for
our honeymoon. He is so good to
me. No wonder I care so much. He
says that everything he wrote In that
first letter to me Is sacred as an
oath. when 1 get my decree we will
have our ceremony.
AUGUST 22.-Signed lease at 4o25
Ellis avenue till September, 1918
Everything o. X. don't know
whether ! am more unh Apply since
met Clin or not. / am alone so much.
l wonder what I'll be writing about
CHI = year from now.
Fears Cliff Does Not Care Enough.
Nornf's "LittIe Girl, Is having her
Snc WAS yS6stG-
day-arst time In her Iife-poor child.
But / am alone. Cliff doesn't care
for me enough. 1t is lightly, pas
sionlessly. 1 must make him care
more or be utterly miserable. I long
for companionship. tenderness, men
tai and spiritul COMMUNICATIONS
one to help me live outside of my
self.
Cliff pretends to care a lot, but I'm
simply n little plaything. what IL
so despicable Is that 1 nm willing to
be that or anything No that he II
with me. l am waiting tonight
alone, waiting for him-and knowing
he won't come. Oh. God, have mercy.
Comfort me. Take me. Keep me.
Help n lonely girl!
AUGUST 25.-Last Friday / moved
to No. 4O25 Ellis. l like it. Cliff
likes it. 1t is ours, and yet yester-
day when he came he rang instead
of using his key. / understood him.
but he doesn't understand ! don't
care to think of this place ~ mine.
1t In Ours-Ours-or nothing to me.
Phoned Norm today. Met him at
1890 and had luncheon. Poor boy.
To me Cliff is everything that I
want He doesn't love me enough,
Dut i nOpC H VIII CO"Cs "oHuSI IL
can wait. / haven't yet decided
what Cliff wants. Norm said 1t
broke his heart when our "ltttIe one"
had gone. He said II would have
kept us together. I snail always be
glad that the child died before che
grew old enough to understand any
thing. She would have caused me
much happiness. but also misery at
the thought of her future. Here I
sit alone calmly writing with barely
q heartache. Have l turned to stones
Am 1 mnd:
Harps On Her Longing for Death.
SEPTEMBER 9.--Well, Diary. the
house is most all settled. I've paid
the storage and got the goods and
everything is here and arranged as
we'll as 1 could do it. Poor Cliff, I'll
leave in a few me ments now to meet
him. Am l SO UNIT that God cannot
take me:
SEPTEMBER 10, SUNDAY, IL A.
M-Friday night Les phoned at Joe's,
l saw him yesterday. He is going
Monday to Fort Wayne to be fire
man in Pennsylvania His friend.
Homer Smith, with whom 1 rode
home last night says Les talks of
me continually. Poor Les, I think he
is getting me out of his system grad
ually though, and six months from
now will be utterly Indifferent.
No word from Cliff, at Indian
Lake yesterday. / hardly thought
he'd come. It's all right if 1 never
hear from him. My heart can't brenk
any more. Hut the pieces left will
drop out. They must. Again 1 am
beginning to wish was dead
throughput away. 1t must be fa-
| tai disease. 1t is fearful one. More
| agonizing than any physical ills.
On Third Bottle of Beer.
SEPTEMBER 20. - Waiting for
Cliff. That's all I've been doing for
three weeks. I'm a fool. He's out
on q Job at Ono Hundred and Thir-
tvs venth street It's raining at 1880
and l have things in the house for
dinner. Cliff said he'd be here at 7
at the very latest. I'm so miser-
able. I'm on my third bottle of beer
and can't even get happy or forget.
] can't help but think I'm playing
the fool with Cliff. He surely doesn't
| care and I do. and that's what max es