Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1920-08-30
CHAPTER VII
A WORD TO THE WIVES
Seventh Inning s.

4 bSNShth hhhHAe
pr,end Joe--well. here i am bein'
~afted back again to my DELICIOUS
country's estate on the banks of the
yTndsoi, far away. We have got the
%gyan 2saYenp pSb Above 7, all made and il come
out fne, joe. When you stop to con-
o,der that have never been no actor
ssSore you will get a faint idea OF how
snpIy un, away with the thing like battle
sscsrred old experienced veteran of the
screens and Jeanne come on with the
eyin' colors likewise. Joe, feel surely
tnss urss, favorite with the movie. rams,
ssnsciaily as from now on all the pic
s,res she appears In will be made with
No less than me talSin' off the part OF
tne unod mind to- write all the pictures my
sseif for the future also, Joes and IN
sSat way we could save the expense OF
sayin' to pay them sceneryaro composers
!Ia,r wnr" wares that makes Il look like any
Sody which works with his head Tor
Twin, is a sucker. They Is no doubt that
4 could write as good a movie as the
ns.,se I have got several drops of
suthors blood In me on account OF once
Sin. related to a cousin which was a
Professional writer. or course; l admit
ne .Sngs wSs that / oughta be able to fing a
- mean amp pen myself as blood will tell, ney.
1oSW.,, speakin' of the art Of writin'
Joe; I have already busted into e the
an now considerin proposition ! have
made to myself to tear on SIX or
ssyen aot play some night when ! got
. hour OF so to spare Theh no aiiu doup,
a,nrin' and the etc, as man with the
taier,ts nature has made me q present
~ would be nothin' less than the height
Of selfishness II he kept them to him
';Ti The song have wrote. Joe. Is known
hv the titie of the followin', Il Cannot
Wad a Guy which Has No Lovers
Union Card T. 1t goes like thus:
a couple of young gently lovers
whist honest workin' men rolled BY In
Tho sirI siared at her steady. a shabby
millionaire
And as the moon begin to sink, her sweet
voice tore the air,
CHORUS
I been wild about. you Adolph, eight
hours every day, a.,
which is all the sweethearts' union will
IA like TO grant your slight request and
Join you as your wife, - -.
But I'd be afraid I'd have to bust my
vow. 49,,
For as you was about to kiss me they
might call me out on strike,
A, 20 and Join Local and I'll do as
n rot nothin' else against you and
know this must be hard.
But I cannot wed a guy which has no
lovers union card
Well there's that, Joe. and am
worlin' on extry verses now as you can
ace that 1t Is not only a remarkable piece
Of poetry, but is likewise boilin over
with sentiment and Is as timely as snoW
kinds Of unions now and strikes Is as
plentiful as blondes with light hair, SC
have no doubt that this song Will soon
be sweepin' the country and should ne'
me a plumbers ransom In the royalties
read 1t to the guy which directed our
movin' picture, Joe. and he hadn't the
slightest hesitation in awardin' II int
brown derby as song. He Is guy
which amt easy affected. yet still and
on he was completely overcame with the
emotion and made me read II about
twenty-five times on account OF the sac
story Of thwarted love which II tells
and asks me what is the tune Of 1t ano
says that's right had absolutely for
got that In order to make q song you
fave got TO have a trifie music besides
the words Well. Joe, he says never
the air of the Star Spangelled Banner
which would give II patriotic puncr
and would also at the least make every.
body stand up and remove their hats
no. would rather have some fresh, new
tune wrote for II and ! will send a copy
TO Irwin S. Berlin and ask him TO &c
his best with a good, snappy ar al ana
even basis of 90-10 and 10 per cent OF
what this ballad will make should a.
least get him a coupla hundred thousand
for his bit. Well, Joe, the director says
utt&y Nalt
and what should try to do for IA knock.
out song like | have wrote is to ge
lined up with either Mendellsohn, Beeth
oven or bird called Gounoud. So, Joe
IN the phone book whilst you are II
New York and give them the dope or
this for me and the minute l land
viii prob'ly no doubt sign one OF en-
much sugar for the few minutes worl
they wouldst have to do on this song
which once it's let forth will make then
Known the country over.
Well, Joe, just to show you what tht
average wife is after the hypnotism o.
honeymoonin' has passed away. l reaf
thls here masterpiece to Jeanne, natural
~ thnkin that once she heard It shi
foller that I was a genus; 1t was fa'
p It from such, Joe. When I got al
Through she wiggles her shoulders coldly
makes what tho French calls little moe
sns nsr SssrstshS mousS and and says Cie ssat
English fails to respond to all the treat
Eent It's had from them professors ant
she. etc. When I could get my breati
Pack I says in a deadly voice don't sh'
IKE II and she says instantly Mais non
ehe thinks 1t is inclined to be silly an'
will get my Third Reader out sh'
VII try me on some verbs. adJectiVes
and the etc, In the effort TO get us t
the point SO that when we squande
away time by talkin' 10 each other sh
I can az the least understand what an
For a moment was practically dumb
FOUNDED, Joe. to think that my own VIII
y Cannot Wed A Guy Which Has n,
Lovers Union Card"'. the song whtC'
WI probly no doubt rock the worl'
once 1t is turned loose and take u
Eattle Hymn of the Republicans, an
God Help The King" etc, Well, wa
etraid TO say anything. whilst In tn
Hrlp OF the wildly rage she had throWet
fbe temper got, Joe. and no gentle
pan ever insults his own wife no matte
nov temptin' is the. opportunity, 81
Slth shrusgln of the shoulder and
Sor use at her parties, ! roamed ava ava
from there and went into the club
SAT OF the train to write this lette
which should reach you, Joe, by tn
!, Right here, Joe. I wouldst like to sa
word to the wives whilst ] am feeliI
this mood Of the outrage HUSBAND
~ the first place, let US take, to wit, TN
act that whilst they Is hundreds Q
t,ories and the like with the point brun
out strong that bein' wife Is a toug
iob and that the hulk of the male rae
hends from below, they Is very FEY
which sympathy for poor, little huS
pand Is featured. II you look arounc
Vpe, will that fha' names Df tlpE