davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-12-08
"A LICK Ak,lsS".

Down at Kellogg a schoolma ster
has been arrested for assault and
battery. He threshed five boys with
piece Of rubber tubing. Not to try
the case Of course goodly percen-
tage after considering the circum-
stances, are likely to conclude that
the boys didn't get lick amiss."
That was common expression
years and years ago when a boy or
boys CHANGED to "get a thrashingr in
school. People weren't technical then.
They spoke not Of corporal punish
ment" but mentioned casually that
the teacher "whaled" certain lads and
incidentally congratulated the "dees-
trick" upon having a teacher with
government" A fellow rarely "got
lick amiss," in those days.
How times have changed since a
pl,lcky woman teacher met fourteen
husky truants In the vestibule Of the
OH Brick schoolhouse and lined them
up in file after they had skated down
the creek to the mill pond and spent
the larger part Of the winter after
noon in pullaway and the enjoyment
of a campfire on the ice. She took the
Jackets well. They took it, those Is
and 16 year olds. Back toward the
end Of the line she weakened a little
but the hickory still stung on 10 year
old legs thru two pairs of "overhauls"
and the cotton flannel" drawers of
the period. But there was no thought
Of assault and battery in any mind.
Nobody mentioned it at home. On the
contrary "the other children" were
promised dire reprisal If they told"
There was a reason. Dad might i'm
bioe the notion that the schoolma'am
hadn't finished the job properly and
conclude to put the finish on.
Humiliating? Merely because it
ws.s punishment, not because Of the
manner of applying it. Every one
knew he deserved 1t and instead of
charge Of assault and battery the
incident brought the respectful ad-
miration and real liking Of the vic
tins. They liked teacher who had
tho sand to enforce her rules" and
many a big red apple found its way
to her desk that otherwise would
have been eaten by the giver.
Among us ancient and decrepit folk
WHO went to school in that prehis-
tolic time the impression dinly sur
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-12-08
Topics of the Times

President Wilson'S message ad-
vocates the budget system. ignores
the league Of nations counsels econ
omy, and generally has a decided re-
publican finish; which suggests that
the presidents hindsight is better
than his foresight.
II there's anything in the precedent
OF letting conscientious DIRECTORS out
first Newt Baker ought to get home
before the rest Of the cabinet.
It's a pretty serious situation for a
congressman. Like the brewer juror
In King James time II he votes for
bishops he'll brew no more for the
king If he votes for the king he'll
brew no more for the bishop.
80
With apples at 80 cents dozen It
pays better to keep tree than to
keep q hen.
1t looks as tho Henry Wallace was
out in front and due to win the Sec
retaryship Of agriculture. Well Henry
has the conformation. the breeding
and desire to go some and what
more do we want in cabinet men,
Der?
AS an offset against Iowans who
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-12-08
WOULD YOU REFUSE A MiLlIoN7

| 4 Boston Youth, inheritor of mil
lion dollars refused the bequest the
other day. Just why is not evident.
Perhaps he was seeking notority. II
/ SO he succeeded. He broke a record.
LIost Of us viii consider the fellow
| crazy. Perhaps we shall be mostly
right in our conclusion. But did you
ever think what you'd do If you fell
heir to q million?
OF course you have. Everybody
| has that never had and never expects
to have a million.
You wouldn't be like old Bill
| Mcneybags. Not you. Old Bill is
just as careful and close with his
| money as is he hadn't dollar. So
| folks say. He refuses to endow
something with his money. He
| studies carefully any proposition
| which involves a donation and most
| to do it. People say he even saves
part of his income. Old Bills tight
He refuses to let us spend his money
| as we think it should be spent. But
old Bill has the million. He still has
| 1t. Maybe if he'd listen to us he'd
die poor. For a millionaire to die
poor is concededly the proper thing.
But when one of us dies poor the
rest of us wonder why he didn't leave
| more life insurance and property.
but we wouldn't be like old Bill
We'd contribute gladly to every thing
that came along, and we'd establish
| hospitals and other things and make
public improvements at our own ex-
! pease and be regular human Santa
Claus and every day would be
| Christmas eve. You and I. That's
| what we'd do If we had that mil
| lion. That's the way we'd spend
what we haven't and never expect to
have.
We'd not grumble over the income
ta,, and argue our heads off with ad-
| justment boards on our realty hold
ins's. What's the difference anyhow.
We'd have plenty left. What's few
Thousand dollars to millionaire
| anyhow?
The man who hasn't million can
think Of more public service he could
and would do in minute than a real
millionaire could think Of in life
time. It's the difference in the think
ing: process. It's easy to part with
mind currency and draw checks on
the banks In Spain.
Maybe the fellow that refused the
million isn't any thine worse off by
reason Of his refusal. Maybe he'd
think that every friendly advance
was the prelude to a touch If he had
1t. Maybe he'd wonder whether his
wife married him as a good invest
nent instead of for himself. You
know millionaires do get that way.
Just what would you do with a
million If you had it?
L
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-12-08
b 1LlL / ~! %! 1s |!,;!E;;R! ~

Well, at any rate I'm not worry
| ing, said Browny, as the animals
made ready for bed on the night the
! automobile arrived. "Why, this morn.
ing you saw our farmyard beauty,
the Duke OF Windham, along with
Dicks Plymouth Rock, Toppy, as
they started for the exhibit. They'll
De prize winners, or / miss my guess
Inc treat farm Is always well repre-
sented. BY the way, Billy are you
going? Lots Of fun-such fun as
| you've never seen. Better come
along" cordially.
"Oh, I'll be there. But be sure YOU
are among those present, that is all
retorted the goat, with knowing
wink.
Going to walk. same as you did to
get to the circus?" prodded droll
| Browny.
Not II I know It," was Billy's
quick reply. Ambling up closer, he
reached up and whispered confiden-
| TALLY:
I'm going in the automobile, with
the rest of the family. A goat of my
experiences and breeding goes with
the best" and with that Billy stalked
OH. head held high. well satisfied at
having filled Browny as full of un,
comfortable forebodings as he him
SELF had been a short time before.
surely smell doughnuts," thought
Billy as he shifted the keen outside
air. and he quickened his steps to-
ward tho kitchen, and on into the
pantry he walked to pilfer the results
OF Mrs. Treats day spent at baking
and brewing.
Dear me! there surely are dough-
nuts somewhere about. All. there they
are, and a two-salion crock piled
high with the brown beauties! I real
~ think that all these doughnuts, six
Pies all In a row, a chocolate cake
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-12-08
REPUBLICAN, MARsHA1LToWN IOWA pECEMBER 8 1870

have been elected governors Of other
states George Egan. once rising
young lawyer OF Iowa has been SEN
fenced to two years in the South Da-
kota penitentiary. Egan has been in
the public eye for some years and at
tanned much notoriety.
bill to exempt from taxation
dwelling houses valued at under 80
900 will be offered the legislature
from Sioux City this winter 1t is not
likely to pass. The state needs the
money more than the realty owner.
It's going to be pretty hard to be
real merry on IS cent corn.
It's sad to be boy at heart and look
so sere and ancient
That Must Ger sedately walk, for
people have a penchant
For saying. IL I try to fiirt Il used to
be bold one!)
For goodness sake just look at that!
There's no fool like an old one!"
Kansas City Star.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-12-08

wives that 8. little manhandling for
outbreaking offence isn't altogether
a bad thing. Some OF those Odds
as the French call them, recall In
stances where right good walloping
did wonders In q reformatory way.
OF course that was years and years
ago before human nature had
changed utterly, when youth was as
sumed to be under control of parents
and teachers and to obey or take tho
consequences. before kids stayed out
until after midnight and long before
little girls went to the movies and
ran the streets alone.
Imagine. you Of three score or
| nearby. imagine going home to your
paternal progenitor to require the
arrest OF the teacher who had shak-
en- you up or warmed your jacket for
lawlesness in school! Get q picture
Of yourself going out to the hog lot
to tell dad that the schoolteacher had
committed assault and battery on
you! Dad would have grinned and
remarked that he guessed you didn't
get lick amiss." Perhaps he'd sug-
gest that IL you weren't satisfied he
could manage to hand you enough
more to bring complete contentment
with the situation. But there wouldn't
have been any discussion OF assault
and battery
Sometimes some of those outworn
and ancient persons fairly Itch TO
get their hands on" certain youths.
They would hall the news that such
and such hoy had been given real
old fashioned whaling by a school
teacher as tidings OF great joy. For
it is true that there still remain
among us those Of tender age who
would be vastly better were they as
saulted and battered freely on the
part that wise and heneficient ma
ture seems to have especially adapted
to such purposes.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-12-08
HATING HAITI
Copyrish.
1920
BY FLORIAN SLAPPEY
As Told to OCTAVUS ROY COHEN

II we is to blieve all which some
newspapers says preferred Lawyer
Evans Chew. I'VE is got to blieve that
what Germany did to Belgium want
nothin' on'y practice"
"Meanin' which?" inquired F'lorian
Slappey Ianguidly.
'Us an Haiti
What you mean: Haiti?"
Amt you ben readin' the papers ?"
"Yeh-has you?"
Don talk foolishment. Floian.
Co'se / has ben readin' the papers"
well, SO has l Lawyer Chew. An
them papers which l has read says
that they never was no nobler ac's
they kilt three thousan' of them Haiti
bandits"
Lawyer Chew shook his head.
Them which l read explained that it
was the murderinest murder which
ever was committed"
Il is ben readin' demmicrati tic
newspapers" vouchsafed Florian
oh! 1 is ben readin' republican
newspapers" answered the colored
attorney.
Reckon they mos likely dom
agree. eh?"
Reckon they dom. Pussonly 1 don
think the whole mess mounts to
much. Where is Haiti anyways?"
TITS long way fun. heah-down
in the Caribbean sea. An it seems
like to me that what some folks think
we oughta done is to let our marines
git kilt an not do nothin' but feed
cake an ice cream to them Haiti
fellers.'
They want cuttin' up SO much"
mo. But them which want was
shootin' They amt no doubt of it
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-12-08

and then another that they call .
sponge, besides three fried chickens
IN that eartfern bowl are just a little
! moro than the boys ought to be al
lowed to eat tomorrow. 1t might make
them sick. and SO I'll play the good
fairy and remove temptation from
their path" and Billy fell to with
will.
Ills stomach was commencing to
bulge with the goodies, and even his
soatish appetite was half satisfied,
when Whack! Whack! resounded a
oroomstick on Billy's broad back,
welded vigorously by the mistress Of
the household. Discouraged and back
beaten, his goatship scurried to the
barn. there to nurse his many griev-
GUS wrongs.
Small use in my trying to do
right" he cogitated. "Son1ebodv fs al
ways against me, and as soon as I
am up, they are sure to knock me
down. l am getting sore" and he
rubbed his poor back a against Browns
stall. Anyway, there's a good time
ahead tomorrow"
AS he sought his bed Of fragrant
hay his thought ran:
Wonder what a fair is like. Maybe
just a miniature circus, and then it
will be bore to me- But I'll go in
the auto. That will be new exper-s
fence. anyway. Will sit on the front
seat, too; il not going to the fair, at
least on the return trip There will
be room for me somewhere. They say
where there's a will there's q way,
and / am the VIII in this instance.
With good nights rest and an early
breakfast, I will be in trim and-and
- but Billy was off to the land Of
dreams.
Tomorrow the Treats start for the
fair.1
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-12-08
BE MINDFUL OF THE SICK.


The establishment OF a quiet zone
in the vicinity OF the Hershey hos
pital, solicits the painstaking OBJ
servance OF this humane regulation.
Not a little OF the disturbance which
is created near these halls OF agony
is quite unnecessary and a result OF
thoushtlessness.
Vibrant with life and energy,
many who speed along North Null
berry are unmindful that behind the
walls OF the somber structure, where
In Is cared for those who are handi-
capped by the loss Of the physical
strength. which they possess, silent
battles where human life is the prize
are being sought.
An open exhaust may break
the sleep of nerve-racked body,
robblng fevered mind or spent
body of the refreshment which comes
OF lapse into that Inconsistencies
which frees. the body from It's pains
and the mind from its letters.
Quiet and composure is necessary
to the speedy return OF those who
journey into the dark valley,
Mere thoughtlessness on the part
OF speeding motorists increases the
odds against those who battle
against unseen foes.
To run past a hospital with a cut
out OPEN is to be prodigal Of human
life. 1t is an offenst which warrants
prosecution.
Yet it should not be necessary to
invoke the law to- confer quiet upon
hospital zone. We have only to re-
fleet upon the care and caution we
exercise when someone near and dear
to us is Ill, to appreciate our social
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-12-08
1ObnBurrou9bS'
S
, {, lsst:ss:::

How do different birds seize and
carry their prey?
2.-Will coons try and wash their
food even II no water is available?
3.-What does a bee learn from ex-
perience?
Answers to Yesterdays Questions.
Are birds that flock brighter
hued than solitary birds?
AS soon as any Of the ground birds
show development Of the flocking
instinct. their hues become more
noticeable. as Is the case with the
Junco, the snow bunting, the shore
lark and the lark bunting Of The west.
The robin is the most social OF our
thrushes, and Is the brightest colored.
Are cows and sheep good en-
gineers?
The COW has always been a famous
engineer in laying out paths: sheep
are, too. They take the line of least
resistance, they ford the streams at
the best places: they cross the noun
tains In the dsep notches; they scale
the hills by the easiest grade.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-12-08
Reproduction
Prohibited.

I Lawyer Chew-that a heap Of them
Hnities wsts kilt by their own police
Now l asts you. when fellers is so
bad they gifts kilt by their own police
how come we got any right to say
that our marines, which won the
I,rropeen war, shoul'nt ought to git
Ill target practice also?"
1T on'y goes to prove that no mat
te,. which anyone does, Flo'ian-they
gifts crftumsized. I'm we had of
lowed them Haities to run all over
us. folks would say we din't have no
backbone. When we kills them after
they commences cuttin up--we gifts
| 'cused of bein' wuss'n Germany"
You said it, Brother Chew. An
bout all the good has ben done is to
staht another inquiry-whlch means
that heap mo- good newsprint paper
is gwine be th'owed away tellin'
which an what
That's it, Floian--an' they amt
nobody gwine nowhere nohow. Folks
is unreasonable, jes' like wifes. Take
my wife, TO- instunce: she amt never
satisfied. 1 is got a good-lookilv
stcnognpher-an' sence the weather
tuned coli she is ben havin' a plumb
misable time. I was sorry TO- her
an my motter has always ben that
charity begins in the office But when
went an bought that gal a fur coat,
my wife she up an raised a howl
bouten it,
"You dom say?"
"Yeh, I does"
Florian thought intensively for a
few minutes. We'll, that looks to me
jes' like this Haiti question. You an
the marines both done the right thing
but neither should Of advertised
what it was YOU edonetn
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-12-08
Ripping Rhymes
By WALT MASON
By WALT MASON
CANNED MUSIC.


When tired
graph ana soon forget the cleave
this mill that
flows swe they
near
the wkn with his voice.
pick and
gins;
Tel with slashng If
And
complaining
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-12-08
AUTO NOT a LUXURY.
TMaOchostor proce

When is the automobile a luxury
Take a family of five people, who
want to make 4 trip from Manchester
to Dubuque and return. Railroad
fare for the five will cost them $500.
BY automobile the expense (averag-
ing twelve miles to the gallon of gas
olene), would be $3.50. OF course,
there would be some wear and tear
on tires and motor but the average
car Is driven about so many miles
during the year, anyway, and might
as well be used for such trip as In
any other manner. This brings up
again the desirability of improved
roads-roads that can be, used during
all the year. It would be wonderfr
thing for the people Of this section if
we had hard surfaced roads leading
to Dubuque, Waterloo and Cedar
Rapids-trunk lines that would en-
able people to reach interior trading
points. They will come in time. and
when they do, everybody will wonder
how in the world we got along with
out them all these years.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-12-08
THE BUSINESS FIELD.

Signs of hetterment In business ana
sentiment. il slow to appear, are
rather more distinct In certain quart
ers. The retail movement, altho lack
ing the desired breadth, is accelerated
as the holidays draw nearer, and
some primary markets are recovering
little from their lethargy. Yielding
prices invariably place a temporary
check on operations. but there is us
ually point at which buyers interest
will be reawakened, and this basis IS
apparently being approached in some
leading lines. Yet the whole situation
is uneven and uncertain, as is natur-
al in a time Of readjustment, and the
general policy is one Of deferring i'm
portant action until conditions be-
come more stable.
After the turn Of the year. when
results Of inventorying and Christ
mas trade shall have been made
known, the future business outlook
may seem less obscure. The ground
work for subsequent Improvement Is
being laid during the present transit
ton. and the years grain and other
harvest, while not measuring up to
some previous standards in money
value. are fortunately abundant in
quantity. Recognition Of this fact
gives rise to confident expectations.
and the indications of relaxation
from the monetary tension, which
may become more definite after the
year-end settlements are completed,
also afford reason for encourage
ment.
The most unsatisfactory feature is
the increase Of unemployment, and
it's consequent effect upon the, public
buying power.
The further increase In failures re-
veale din the November statistics Is
neither unnatural nor surprising, as
business readiustment such as is now
in progress may be expected to bring
with it higher commercial mortality.
While the number Of defaults has
risen apprecviab bly,. being 1T larger
in November than in October 246
greater in the latter month than in
September, there were more Novem-
Der insolvencies In each Of the six
years from 1911 to 1915 than in the
present instance.
In comparing with the returns Of
the period since 1915, allowance must
be made for the fact that the indus
trial activity Of the war years and
afterward reduced failures to mini
mum, last years November defaults
being the smallest on record for that
month. The exhibit as to this years
November liabilities Is relatively
more unfavorable than the showing
as to number, the Indebtedness Of
$50, 100000 exceeding the totals Of
that month in all previous years since
monthly compilations were first made
more than quarter of century ago
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-12-08
FUNDS SENT TO NEAR EAST.

Appropriations Of Nearly $500, 900
Made by Executive Committee.
New York-Approximatio tons totaltng
nearly 100000 for relief work in the
near east were voted at a meeting
here today Of the executive COM
mittee Of the near east relief.
A gift OF $4,000 from Armenians
resident in the United States was re-
ceived and the committee appropria-
ted 100000 for immediate purchase
Of supplies for Armenia.
A total Of 100000 was appropria-
ted for the Constantinople district
$12b,00 for relief in Transcaucasia,
$4,000 tor Syria, $50. 900 for north
ern Persia and about $4,000 for
Greek refugees in these countries.
Bayard Dodge, OF this city, son Of
Cleveland H. Dodge. was appointed
to direct relief activities in Syria,
with headquarters in Beirut.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-12-08
FLU. MOVIES. AND GANG.
TGlidden Graphic.1


Fred Poffenbarger. the 19-year- old
boy who was the brains Of the recent
! mail robbery at Council Bluffs, has
attributed his downfall to three
things-the Influenza, bad movies
and the gang. The Graphic does not
feel that young men like Poffenbar-
ger are exactly the proper subjects to
give advice to other young men, but
at the same time he has given three
very good causes that made it easy
for him to develop into the biggest
mail robber in the United States.
Last year Fred got the flu and
was unable to work for SIX months.
That was not his fault, but the fact
that he continued his lazy habits af-
ter he was able to work showed that
he lacked stamina, backbone and
moral courage. Even there it is
doubtful whether he Is as much to
blame as his parents who trained
him.
And while he was laying off from
work Fred had plenty Of time TO at
tend the movies. He wasn't very
careful In his selection Of films. in
fact the wilder the better. There he
saw hold ups and robberies. and as
he himself says. 1--WE reasoned that
IL such things can be done In the
movies they can be done In real life"
Movies. we are told on the screen,
are passed by the national board OF
censorship" After noting experiences
like Poffenbarger's one wonders II
the censorship really means any
thing" No doubt ninety per cent OF
the movies are all right, but II there
send boys into lives OF crimes there
ought to be something done about 1t.
And finally, Fred blames It onto
''the gang When he wasn't working
he had to have something to do. He
had to have companionship and he
wanted it In his own class so as to
be as congenial as possible In a gang IL
is easy for a boy to go wrong es-
pecially if he has not had the home
training or the Sunday school train
ini to give, him stamina to withstand
temptations. Now that it is too late
Fred realizes that he should have
stayed home instead Of going out
with the gang" His advice to other
boys includes this admonition:: AL
ways obey your mother. no matter
whether you think she Is right or
mot"
india has had six great famines
since 1922,
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-12-08
sTOCKYARD RECEIVERS.
[Cedar Rapids Republican.J

They are going to help the stock
men and farmers by placing the
stockyards in Chicago, and probably
in other cities. in the hands Of re-
ceivers. For some time there has
been complaint about the influence OF
these vast yard systems on the prices
of live stock and meats. It is also
alleged that those who are caught in
those yards over night are robbed in
the form Of excessive charges. No
doubt there is truth, more or less, in
all these allegations. The stcckyards
have often been operated as den
OF hold up men.
But wherein will matters be made
better by having the courts place re-