davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1920-06-23

Per capita consumption OF tobacco
In the United States has been stead
ily Increasing since 1866.
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1920-06-23

It's a hundred to one shot that the
woman who believes everything her
husband tells her has never been mar
ried before.
Muggins-Miss Primm was terribly
shocked when I took her out to sup
per last night. Buggins-what hap
pened? Muggins-The waiter serves
the lettuce before 1t was dressed.
The Washington times., 1920-11-30
Bringing the Attractions OF the
City to the Farm

Whenever John Armstrong chalonsr. Of Who's looney
now?" fame, steps into the imeight he has knack Of
arresting attention
His latest scheme is to build moving picture theatsr
his farm In order to solve the labor problem 1t is bril-
liant idea The constant drift of labor from the monoonous
surroundings Of farm life toward the hustle and gsysy
of cities has become somewhat disturbing Could there be
intelligent solution than to bring the cities attrac
tions to the farm?
moving picture thsater would. probably be only a
beginning. If all the farm hep had to 60 to moving pic
ure show every night the year they would probably
just weary of it they of sitting around the kitchen
stove. They would want variety
So why not have a restaurant, cabaret cafeteria,
skating rink and burssque show attached to each farm
If big farm taxicab stand might be added Opium
dens and gambling houses should not be allowed.
When ultimately, every farm is ablaze with electric
lights at night and orchetras playing in the cabbage
patches and all the CATTLE ducks and chickens staring
in amazement at the brilliant display Of city lfe hired
hand will dream Of leaving the farm for the city When
that time comes the seeker of rest and quiet may have to
camp out at Fifteenth street and New York avenue.
The Washington times., 1920-11-30
WOULD RATHER TRAVEL ALONE.

DEAR MlSS = fAlhf fHH'
am young girl considered very attractive
and pretty, but l very lonesome. have
tried but all in vain to meet someone | care
to keep company with. All whom meet do
not appeal to me. H. they spend a few cents
on me, in return they expect kiss and |
would rather travel alone than throw my
kisses away.
While reading your advice ] noticed a letter
frori young man Of twenty-five years VINO
has lived in the District about five years, and
has a business of his own. How long to meet
him, | know | should enjoy his company
and | wonder " he would like TO meet lone
some girl who is longing for true pal. One
who is willing to have good time In good
way LONESOME grille.
Indeed, it is much better to traycl alone for
q few years than to throw ones kisses away.
But II you will keep your eyes open, you VIII
find plenty of nice young men in the world.
and quite a few Of them in Washington, who
are sensible enough to like and enjoy the
friendship of a girl like yourself.
But don't expect this type of young man to
call on YOU three nights every week. and on
stated evenings. He will want TO be II pal and
not "a beau. He will call you un< an hour or
perhaps half an hour before the time he wants
YOU or wants to 20 somewhere
and it Is up to you to decide whether YOU care
to have him come or to go somewhere on such
short notice. II he is good pal. you'll go.
The days of expecting a man to give you
weeks notice are gone. II they ever were here,
outside of story books
Young men arc afraid TO he tied down to cer-
tain nights, and to SO many nights n week IT
usually means marriage in tho long run.
They just as lonesome young women,
and want RalS, too. without the thought OF mar
riagc, and without kisses.
The Washington times., 1920-11-30
FROM THE PUBLIC
To the Editor OF The Times:

To the Editor OF The Times
The tablet on the base OF the John Paul Jones
monument which was unveiled Saturday after
noon gives extracts from what purports to be n
letter Of September II, 1875, from Jones 20
gress in which Jones says what a naval officer
ought to be. Jones did not write that letter; ii
is spurious and its spurious nature has been
demonstrated on a number Of occasions. II first
appeared In 1900 in Ruelrs book. Paul JONES',
Founder OF tho American Navy an Interesting
book ba Ppd the authors ina sinRton. Prof"s-
addrNrs before the American Historical Asso"il-
ton IN 1909, said of II; As u bold and creative
act of imagination however, nothing in Amerl-
can history surpasscS Buclrs recent John Faul
Jones '"
Az soon as Buell. printed this remarkable letter
him to authenticate il, hut he was unable 10 do
so, If anybody doubts the fraudulent nature ot
the letter he will hnd II FULLY demonstrated ~
v paper before tho u. g. Naval institute printed
in its proceedings for 1910. entitled, when was
our Navy Founded By Charles Oscar raulin.
There are number OF other articles utterly dis
creditlnE Buell. az an authority, notably ono by
Mrs Reginald dc kovcn y tho New York Times
Juno 10, 1906.
am told that the Navy Department has ac.
ccptod tho letter genuine. II so, that depart.
mcnt should produce tho evidence which caused
II to accept IT.
II Is too much TO expect that our statues should
all he perfect ltkcuesscs OF tho originala but II
"a uoi too much to demand that their pcdcStaIn
shall bear Inscriptions which arc known TO bc
true
, Tho tablet on tho Jones monument should Dc
taken down and y new ono containing something
that Jones actually wrote put in its place.
GAILLARD HUNT.
The Washington times., 1920-11-30

While the Puritan refosmers are beautifyinS
their backs with perennial blooming moss tne
rest ot the works is wondering what it's all
about
rally so blooev.
The Puri.ans landed on the rockoound coast
OF New England. That same rockbouhd coast
seems to be located between the modern Puri'
tan's ears. They figure to put the damper on
swimming. motoring, dmpies. walking. MOVIES.
and take away the baby's rattle on sunday.
The world was made in six days. 1t may
centuries, it's too late to send II back IN ek.
change for better one. Seems batter to make
tn" best OF what we have than the worst OF
what they think we should have.
Under the Blooey Laws the luxury Of harm
less FUN will be crime. And crime necessity
II looking at movie is a inisdemesnor, then
looking at a blank wall is felony. Althoush
a blank wall is doubtless synchronised per.
fccty with retormcrs skullpiece.
Columbus discovered America and slap
ped into jail. From the present condition OF
America, he deserved II.
is the only one that begins at home. The 9TH
ers all go out and pick on the neighbors
II the day of rest is to be q total eclipse OF
the brain. an sphasia of progress and a hiatus
OF personal liberty which means the square
weeks behind scratch IN the yearly struggle
with Advancement.
Prohibition was sjump upward But If the
reformers want to prohibit sunshine and fresh
air, they will first have to put it In bottles
The Blcocy Laws will also bo jump up.
ward. Like frog in well.
The Purirsns made game :rir across the
Atlantic. hey sailed for many weeks.
They long time coming over. And
they would not have been here Yet If they
had stopped. turned around, and sailed back
ward on sundays.
The Washington times., 1920-11-30
Beatrice Fairfax
ON
Advice.
POSTPONE ENGAGEMENT.
ON
Advice.

DEAR MISS FAIRFAX:
am seventeen years old, and desperate
ly in love. But as | have noticed in the case
with many more, my fiance has another
girl. Now, ! not naturally jealous, and
before | became engaged l went with other
boys. too. But when boy thinks enough of
not think that he should give up all other girls?
l may seem young TO be writing so serious a
letter, but ! am considered very old for my
years Now. love this boy rery dearly and
am convinced he loves me, but just wants TO
make me jealous. have green eyes. but as
yet | have not displayed them in the light
suspect he wants. How would you acto Miss
Fairfax, to make him continue to care for me-
JIMMIE.
II you think you have to make n special CT
fort to make this young man continue to care
for you" I am afraid the wisest thing for you
to do is to give him up right now. IT would
seem that all the love is on your part. When a
man falls in love with a woman the woman
does not have to make a special effort to Keep
him. Just being her natural self is suffice IT,
Also ] believe that seventeen is a little young
for a girl ia think seriously about any man
She has met few men. However, II is nat
ural for her TO want to fall in love at this age.
and 1t is easy for her to believe she has fallen
in love. She often thinks after one affair tHat
she has reached the end of the game. when
she actually is only at the beginning,
II were you | would go out with other
young men. lots OF them and have good time.
and not think of becoming engaged again for
The Washington times., 1920-11-30
CAR-sTOP STUPIDITY.

There is considerable stupidity In
car-stop arrangements on the street
railways OF Washington, and THEo-
DoRE @. HOFFMAN calls attention
TO one OF them. It's the practice
Of keeping Treasury employees.
hurrying to work in the morning,
hung up in 18th and Park" cars at
the platform right in front OF the
Treasury north 'front.' until the
cars carry them across 10Th street
10 New York avenue to let them OF.
The time lost often means much.
A similar situation exists In the
awkward arrangements at Ninth and
+ streets. Passengers north bound
on the Ninth street line are carried
almost 10 G street before being al
lowed to get of TO go back TOR trans
fer to + street; also the same thing
as to east or west-bound passengers
on + street desiring to go north or
south on Ninth street.
Many Of these car|stop arrange
ments are palpably in the interests
Of the railways aud wholly without
regard to the convenience or the
public. Isn't the time arriving when
the public will get q look in?"
The Washington times., 1920-11-30
Once-Overs
Copyright 1sso by Incrna tonaI Festurc Service Ife
YOUTH AND OLD AGE,
Rx L I MIlNlN

Young man, do you treat the elderly man en-.
ployed with YOU with respect, or do you feel
that he is weak and unsuccessful or he would
not be in his particular job consequently he is
TO you somewhat Of joke"
Years ago this man may have had better pros
poets than you have but unfortunate circum-
stances, possibly poor Investments may bc tho
reason why he is stlll cmploye
He may have had more ability thau\ YOU
have, but helpless ones to care for may have
hung n milestone around his neck and hc
found no way to SHIFT his responsibilities.
Twenty thirty. forty years from now do you
think you will be able to hold Job az good
as the one this elderly man ho's and upon
whom you look down IN surn cnld.bc ~.
pcrior wTy:
Tho lack OF courtesy you show hurt him
Tie may smilc and lts to mako excuse for
YOU even in his hcart but tho hurt is there
doubly strong from his diSappoint piunt,
that lcc SHOULD keep him down and that hc
must take insults from those who arc really
inferior, but at present have youth
The Washington times., 1920-11-30
A BOYS ESSAY on GIRLS.

GIRLS are very stuckup disnefied
IN their manner and bchaveyour.
They think more of dress than any
hing and like TO play with dowls and
rags. They cry if they sec COW in
afar distance and are afraid OF guns.
They stay at home all the time and
go TO Church every Sunday. They
are always sick. They arc always
tuny and making IAN of boys hands
and they say how dirty They cant
play marbles, pity them poor
things. They make run OF boys and
then turn round and love them. J
lont bcleavc they ever killed Il cat
IT 9ny thing They look out every
1itc and say ant the moon lovely
rhir is one thing have not told and
hat is they always now their les-
sons bcttcrn boys II. d. W" Sr.
The Washington times., 1920-11-30
We TOWNE GOSSIP
Registered u. $. Patent Ofncs
BY X. c. B.

on SUNDAY. WHATS THE mat. :,
We WERE invited. ...' =,
10 . 80. .,n,or AND raised my head
AND SAID to him.
poned' AND TO every one
ING Day ~IF YOu had had any
AND TIE host .vo, ;,o,,,n ,.
WAS A kindly gentle noticed.
na" .. "A LONG while ago.
THAT OUR friend.
AND great desire. the host.
TO PLEASE everyone. as TRYING to say
grace"
AND NOT interrupt. -
IN THE conversation. 49,, o,,,,p, .
AND ALONG about .
We ALL sat down. quiet
AND I could see AND WAITED the
THE HOST was wor-
red. AND 1T began.
AND AFTER while. AND nice old gen.
1T OCCURRED to me.
WHO WAS somebody's
ne WAS seeking quiet. father
That lat. HE might say AND YER! deaf
~, ,a, .. AND HADN'T any idea
OR ASK blessing.
UPON THE food. WHAT WAS gong on
RAISED Up his voice.
THAT LAY before US -
,, AND SAID.
II SEE by the papers.
THERE CAME a lull.
.THAT PRESIDENT
AND nj lowered his Harding.
head. -"
as A wizard at
AMI lowered mine bridge"
AND AN actor person. AND ANYWAY.
RIGHT OPPOSITE me WE ATE our dinner.
LOOkED ACROSS at WITHOUT Any bless
me. ing.
AND SAID to me. l THANK you.
The Washington times., 1920-11-30
Will rIND SOME wAy>
DEAR MISS FAIRFAX:


am twenty years old and | have seen a
very nice young lady about seventeen for
whom | feel sure I care a great deal But as
| have no friends TO introduce me to her
] don't know how TO get acquainted with her
10 you think II will he all right to write her n
lettor or to speak TO her personality
WIN YOU kindly advise me what TO do in
this raicr t. &.
There arc some girls who would not resent
receiving letter from you, and again there
arc sunc girls who would Since you do not
know what kind THIS young lady Is. better play
safe. aud find out where she works and goes
for her amuscm"ntS. ThCn arrange 10 also
attoud. and am quito sure tho rest viii ho
easy. IF you orc really keen about her, Nuu'll
find some ono whom the girl knows, make their
acquaintance, and IN this way finally meet tho
girl herself
The Washington times., 1920-11-30
STREET CAR CONVERSATION.

i Simply DIED laughing.
Those lights are so dazzling, they
make me BLIND"
I'm so tired, I'm just DEAD
He makes me SICK
II am simply CRAZY about dane
ing"
II wish he would shut that window,
I'm FROZEN STIFF"
No, nothing serious; just a few
high spots from a conversation be-
tween two sweet young things on q
street car. MAXWELL PEARSON.
The Washington times., 1920-11-30
"A DkCk OF CARDS"

4 deck Of cards has many Hearts
But never falls in Love.
II has, I'm told. at times cold HANDS
That never wear 4 glove:
Although the Deck is often cut.
You never hear u Sauesi;
II pe'er complains when'er II srts
a downright shsmeIui deal
To draw 4 card, a pencil you
VIII never necd at all;
A hand OF cards don't visit. though
u sometimes gets call.
To hold ones temper IN a game
IL very little use.
For IL YOU pick twu-spot Up,
You're sure to raise the Deuce
Il W. L.
The Washington times., 1920-11-30
Ladies, Are You With Mile.
Wolska or Against Her?

Mile. Gamma Wolska Polish opera singer, who
has recently married Alexander Smith Cochran the rich
est bachelor in the world gives her views American
women kissing and society in interview in Chicago.
American women do not know how to live" says Nile
yWolska "They sit waiting waiting for life come to
them. In Europe lives American girls wher in their
unromantic atmosphere"
And apropos of kissing she remarks:
II hate a who does not kiss wel
Mile. Wolska's remarks very likely to pque the
curiosity of all American What fields does Europe
offer which this country denies-and which con-
,stitute lving? If lady desires to "fy off at the
handle and of course Mile. Woska could not have had
that in her mnd-heaven knows that she has many op
portuntes in New York Chicago Valparaiso Pata
gona she has in any European capital But if she
to remain within the bounds of proprey what she do
abroad which she cannot do here?
In the field of intellectual development the opporun
ties for practically the throughout the
civilized world In domestic lie in cooking and house
hold economy her opportunity here probably greater be-
this country in those respects behind Europe and
needs womans intelligent attention than Europe does
In the political field give them the right vote What
more they want?
1t is possible, however that Nile Wolska has in mind
those phases of life which occupy the idle hours of
tain type of unhappy unsatsed and neurotic married
is undoubtedly true that for such as they Eu
rope offers atmosphere which this country lacks There
they rt to their hearts content revel in soul rela
tons with anities, wander about without exciting
ment and place themselves in interesting and exciting po
stons which would scandal in the United States
All this is largely matter Of taste. In Europe it is
considered proper and here is considered improper Any
lady who dsagrees with the prevailing code in either
nent has the privilege of emgratng to the other As we
contemplate the working of both codes however we must
decide in favor of the American American girls wither
in their atmosphere regret to say that prefer the
withered.
If there is race nation group, bunch mandatory
of females the face of the earth that in beauty style
intelligence grace fun savor fare, courage pep sur
passes American girls have yet to hear of them
As for Mile. Wolskas antpathy toward who
does not kiss WELL share it with her who has
opportunity to kiss girl and bunges the job is entitled
to no sympathy He ought to be taken out and shot.
"As Mile Wolska spoke, wrote her interviewer, 'she
turned her Grecian profile to caress Habeze her white
Angora kitten"
Therein, perhaps, lies Mile. Wolskas trouble Had she
turned that Grecan profile to Bongo her avorte
fatrpn, Enameo her avorite boiling pot soxo, her
tavore darnng needle she might not have such rheumatic
views
The Washington times., 1920-11-30
OBSERVATIONS.

Men swear by WISE women. byt
often marry good-looking and fool
ish ones.
Rouge sounds like ruse and u
much like IL.
No woman is too old 10 look foi
NEW wrinkles. HAPPY. .
The Washington times., 1920-11-30
THE MILKY WAY.

Mrs. Jones told her husband TO 81
TO the dairy for some milk, Mr.. y
said: suppose they have none"
GO on" she said, did you eve.
hear OF a dairy without milk"
yes" he said. "Lap'dary. qoau
dary, and the male dromedary."
II. SMITH &
The Washington times., 1920-11-30
SCHOOL DEFINITIONS.

AN EXAM--A guessing contest.
THE FACULTY-A body of peoplt
hired TO help the Seniors run tn
school.
FLUNKEE--A person who lovce |
subject too much to leave Il.
a LUNCH BALL--A place TO Dlay
ball in and throw paper over tn
floor. r. q.
The Washington times., 1920-11-30
OF. DEAR!

Qnos was rich and al men came.
Submissive 10 my call;
But IN a moments time % blamed
Alarm clock spoiled u all.
BUCK WILLIAMS
The Washington times., 1920-11-30
ADVERTISEMENTS.

annual salc now going on. Dcni
go elsewhere to get cheated. Conr
here" (
WANTED Boy: tn be partly in
side and partly outside the counter;
c. T.
The Washington times., 1920-11-30
CONFORMATION.

Were you fast bound to an old friend
TIN he let slip harsh words to rend
Friendship In twain?
And did he so deeply o:end,
You feel you never can extend
Your hand again?
ON the words he spske IN passion,
Must you brood and OF them fsshios
Thoughts kin 10 hstc7
Why not .sIert? why not forgive7
why harbor stiu and keep alive z
HsGeds blsek ste?
Cons'Ger how NImssif he y trnes
For scoring IN Ina asSr- q tsrIrs
Tour stsEdfestNfl.th'
Consiu-- now ha woVil rejoice -es
Could he .Hi lear your kiRdly Voics
JsE cosKLIS
The Washington times., 1920-11-30
ALARMING SYMPTOM.

Wifc--John. there's one thing ]
want 10 say to you right now.
Hubby--Only one? Aren't you well,
my dear? T.. +. W.
The Washington times., 1920-11-30

a man ought 10 save some OF
the long evenings he spends
with his girl until after they are
married. T.. NJ. O'S.
The Washington times., 1920-11-30

Full many a manuscript for Heard and sees
Bills dark unfathomed basket hide
away,
And many 4 writer with confidence seren
This simple truth is learning every day.
HOMO.
The Washington times., 1920-11-30

Who put the Ire in lrelSNg
ENGLAND. Nsr-e
Who took the buoysncy out at Cork
ENGLAND. Nt
who filled the brig" in Balbrigan
ENGLAND. Z
Who's going TO knock the bull
out of John Bull? IRELAND.
J. A. 3. &
The Washington times., 1920-11-30
NO r,ovio ticket office

At the movie ticket office:
Race-horsc fan, absent-mindedly-
Billy Kelly, two
Ticket Seller--"Sir.'
Fan-"Oh. excuse me, Miss
LESTER.
The Washington times., 1920-11-30
G1hEARl.
By BILL PRICE.
RE MEMORY TRAINING.

The enc bis idss In obtaining al 10.
fsiiibls memory 10 TO make assoeIa-
lions at sll times. But drop them
. note.
An example, for Instance. hov 20
r.msmber the telephone number Of Mr..
Boyd seaton. suppose II 10 be West
You Immediately sssinnilsts Boyd
int boy, boy recalls short pants and
the patched seat thereon; the SEA-
TON his pants Is on the West side be-
cause that 10 the side the son sets on.
You now have the WEST clearly es-
tablisbed. The recent election slso did
this. Tho neat association is that
ninety-nine times out ~ q hundred you
will forget this this gives you the ".
EIIITHEg
The Washington times., 1920-11-30

If Clara Eliza is making cider
What is Ellen Bruin? j.
The Washington times., 1920-11-30

i've never writ for Heard and Seen.
Cause I'm nutty bean.
I was reared and born in Podunk Valley.
Two doors down from snake. Eye Alley.
! never went day to school
with these credentials. Gee, ! hope,
You'll let me be your sttchoke.
But with Joshin' aside, l really mean,
Three cheers old Tor, for Heard and Seer
TOMMY" THOMAS.
The Washington times., 1920-11-30

''BoBBIE' writes that he callsS Of
his Central High School girl TO tau
her TO the Rialto but she wouldh'
bulge until she'd read Heard ant
Seen. (which she said beat all tn,
movies and theaters In town"
The Washington times., 1920-11-30

That the cakiea wear coats
stuck out with pads and putting
Is apropos Of What's a goose
without the stuffing" y. b.
The Washington times., 1920-11-30

What do you think of fellow
who calls you up before 7 in the
morning to make a date with you?
BROWN EYES.
The Washington times., 1920-11-30

All this talk by
Messrs. Hoover,
Taft, Root, ct al,
of salvaging
something
from the
wreck is
merely nonsense.
The collision
was too
thorough
to leave
any driftwood.
The Washington times., 1920-11-30

They long tiTc coming And
they would not have been here Yet if they
had stopped. turned around and sailed back
ward sundays.
The Washington times., 1920-11-30

The Purivsns made game :rr across
Atlantic. hey sailed for many weeks.
The Washington times., 1920-11-30
MIR. B. Baer
The Blooey Laws.

While the Puritan reformers are eeauufyins
their backs with perennial blooming moss, the
rest ot the works is wondering what it's all
about.
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1920-02-27

and Springfield, increased per cent. each. In Butte and Dallas the in- crease was per cent. and in Fall River per cent.
The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1920-02-27

creased less than fve-tenths of 1 per cent.
 The II articles which decreased in price were: Strictly fresh eggs, s per cent; butter, 5 per cent; lard and canned tomatoes, 3 per cent. each; pork chops, storage eggs and oranges, 2 per cent. each; fresh milk, canned corn, canned peas and prunes. 1 per cent. each.
 The average family expenditure for 22 articles of food increased from De- cember IS, 1919, to January IS, 1920, in Il cities and decreased in 9 cities. Tn Memphis and Mobile the decrease was 2 per cent. In Atlanta, Birming- ham, Cleveland, Denver, Kansas City, Omaha and Portland, Maine, the de- crease was 1 per cent. In Charleston, Indianapolis, Minneapolis, Portland, Oregon, St. Paul, Salt Lake City, and Seattle, the increase was 1 per cent. Bridgeport, Chicago, Columbus, Little Rock, Los Angeles, Milwaukee, New Haven, New York and Philadelphia, increased 2 per cent each. Balti- more Boston, Buffalo, Detroit, Louis vile. Manchester, Newark, Norfolk, Jacksonville, New Orleans, Scranton. Peoria, Pittsburgh. Providence, Rich mond, Rochester, St. Louis, San Fran cisco and Washington, increased 3 per cent. each. Cincinnati, Houston