New Mexico state record. (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1914-19??, 1920-02-06
BY EARL oERR sIooERs.


Its bein' 'andsome. that's vol doeI
it," announced the cook of the JohI
Henry. that an liberality." He wa.
holding forth to the assembled crew
on the secret of his winning way witt
the ladies. When ! walks through the
streets, they follers me. they does.
he continued, "the.. re that took up
An as soon as | buys 'em a little
trinket or somethink. they loses theiI
'eads entirely. I've 'ad some o. EN-
tell me l was the 'andsomest man
they ever seem"
They was drunk" growled old Dan.
lei sourly; ''wimmin allus loses their
taste in SIGH matters when they're the
worse fer Ticker"
They was SOBER" contradicted the
cook; "as sober as you'd be eff they
was no SIGH thing as strong drink.
An they says, You're the 'andsomest
man"
"'Andsome is as 'andsome does"
interrupted the boy, AN | amt ever
card O. your dom very 'andsome by
any O your friends. Where's the lib
erality you was talkin' about?"
Il give you tupence onct," respond
ed the cook; "wot'd we do with it,"
The boy snickered.
"Wot'd We think | done with IT," he
inquired, put it in the Bank O. Eng
land fer the beginning o. a great
fortin'? ! spent 1t. | bought the At
lantic fer n private swimmin' pool"
You'd better ave a care 'ow you
talk to your elders" the cook warned
him. "or you'll be testin' your pool
afore you knows it,"
The cook was the only man aboard
to whom the boy dared talk back. and
he made the most of it.
You better ave a care 'ow you
boast" he sneered. "or III rule you on
my ocean,"
The insulted man arose with the evil
dent intention OF chastising his tor
mentor, but before he could reach him
Joe Martin had dealt the youngster a
singing blow on the head that sent
him sprawling. Joe was a quiet
man and loved peace, ever at the
cost of war.
Don't 'urt the lad, Cook" he en-
treated, shouting to make himself
heard above the roars that rent the
f%orecastle air. don't 'urt i'm. Go
On about the wimmin."
"'E's been goin' on about EN-" old
Daniel complained. It'll we've all be-
gun to wish they never was any"
The cook gave him a scornful look.
"Where'd you be without wimmin?"
he inquired; ''where'd we all be, |
arsks you that" And he glared round
the circle.
In the garden o. Eden pluckin'
our meals off the trees" replied the
old man, who was a cynic as well as
an A. b., IAN not nine hours from
Mapping an a crool. 'artless world"
AS | was sayin'." went on the
cook hastily. Il expects to see one o.
these fairies | knows in Wrapping.
Purity as a pictur' she is. Fine yaller
air an bright red cheeks. An she
as very good taste. She says I'm a
most 'andsome man."
Its ard to understand" said old
Daniel. winking at Peter Smith.
An when you lads are drinkin' your
beer alone an in solitude" continued
the cook, "Ill be sittin' there, with
my arm around 'er waist, tellin' 'er
'ow mean you all are"
And with this prophecy he deserted
the forecastle for the galley.
"'E's a bad 'un," said Daniel when
the heartbreaker had gone. AN a
very good sort ed be, too, eff It
wasn't fer is runnin' arter the VIM
min"
1T 'urts is reputation Joe Mar
tin added; you'd think as ed know
enough to let wimmin alone, bein' as
'ow 'e's a married man."
"Wot e needs is a lesson" said Dan.
Tel sternly. "a lesson that1l show i'm
the evil O. is ways. An we're the
ones to give 1t to i'm"
ITS allus a question as to 'ow a
will take is lesson" Peter Smith
put in. Il shipped with a Teller named
Bill Simmons onct, 90 was too fond o.
is Ticker. So a young, Christian-like
A. b. called John Downs started out
to reform i'm. e follered Bill to every
public ouse, an whenever Bird or
der a drink, Downs I'D snatch it out
is and an gulp it down. A broken
was wot e got fer is kind
"The's kindnesses an ~kindnesses,"
said old Daniel sagely; kind kind.
nesses and unkind ~kindnesses. an
the one | ave in mind our dom fer
Cook is a little o. both-sort o. mixed
"Wot's your plan?" the others in
Il amt 'ad time to think II out
very careful yet" the old man re-
but the main pints is as fol-
Cook tells me as 'ow e in
tends to meet this y~aller- aired friend
D. lis at the Golden Cloud in Mapping
tomorrow evenin' at seven. Now, my
plan is fer a few o. us to take cook
10 the Golden Cloud tomorrow arter-
noon, an git i'm SO drunk afore seven
hat e won't know lis friend from the
1owager empress o. China. Then in
he mornin' well tell i'm e married
er the night before"
Its a good scheme. except for one
very important thing" Peter Smith re-
marked, a n that is. 90 pays fer the
ticker cook gifts drunk on?"
I'VE do" old Daniel answered, and
hen raised his hand to quiet the roar
ng shout of approval, but" he ex-
I'VE takes it out Cooks peck
t on the way back to the ship. e
,rt to be glad to pay a few shillings
o ave a bad 'abit broke"
No further objections being offered,