New-York tribune., 1920-04-25
talking like that7 II can't lot 20

told me you still got your wife's money
Henry Clegg-Oh, I knowl-
Munce-Look ere, what you done with
it, eh?
Henry Clegg-1 haven't done any
thing with it.
Munce-You know you're not actin
straight, you aren't. (Mysteriously)
saw you the other day, you know
Henry Clegg-Oh! Where?
Munce-Yes, an you 'ad nice BIZ
O. skirt with you, too.
Henry Clegg-I say, shut up, you
fool!
Munce-Oh, It's all right. know ali
about it. 1 never give pal away. Nc
fear.
Henry Clegg (airily) - Oh, there's
nothing to give away. I only met he1
by accident.
Munce-Yes, do not think! Oh. ho
no, ho, no! Excuse me laughin,' ole
chap, won't you? Accident! Oh. no.
Henry Clegg-I say, don't make 50
much noise. They went upstairs to
sleep, you know
Munce-Sorry, ole man, but look
ere, you know, putin all jokes aside,
when can you let me ave the money?
Henry Clegg-I don't know.
Munce-Don't know! But you oughta
know. What am I goin' to do, eh?
Henry Clegg-Perhaps it'll be all
right next week
Munce-Yes, an per'aps not. know.
What you done with your ole woman's
money?
Henry Clegg-I tell you I haven't
done anything with It'll
Munce-Don't tell me. I know. You
bin spendin' 1t on that bit Of skirt
saw you with this afternoon, that's
what you bin doin', stead O. pyin'
your debts.
Henry Clegg (anxiously) - Don't
shout, old chap.
Munce-1t's enough to make a chap
shout, amt it?-Goin' an blowin' all
your money on q tart, an you owes me
twenty-five poun's. twenty-five pouns.
An ere's me don't know where to turn
for money.
Henry Clegg-I tell you I haven't
spent 1t on her. Straight, | haven't
Look here. may as we'll be honest
with you. The girl you saw me with
this afternoon, she's a friend Of mine,
see?
Munce-Yes? thought SO. Fine
lookin' bit O goods, too!
Henry Clegg (proudly)-Not bad, is
she?
Munce-I s'pose your missus don't
know about 'er? Ho. ho, no, ho!
Henry Clegg-Don't laugh SO loud,
old chap. My wife and me don't get
on very we'll. You know!
Munce (sympathetically) I. know,
old chap. Funny, ain't it, 'ow the one
you're married to amt half so nice as
the one you keep?
Henry Clegg-And you see, we'll.
things haven't been going right with
me lately. Of course, Kitty-that's
her name, not my wife. the other one
she's always hard up!
Munce-Just what 1 said. Didden I?
Spendin' all your blinkin' money on a
tart stead O. payin' your debts of
honor. Debts Of honor, mind you!
That's wot call doin' the dirty!
Henry Clegg-I'm in rare old mess;
that's what 1 am. Kitty's bin to the
1Cc$or
sure!-
Munce CATER a prolonged whstle)-
Oh, ho! Sos that's 'ow the land laws.
is it? So 'elp me!
Henry Clegg-I don't know what the
devil to do. There's you and Kitty
she'll want bit of money to keep her
mouth shut. If I could only raise
bit I'd take her off to Canada or some
where. I'm damned fond Of her. that's
what ! am. l can't stick my wife.
She's hard, Munce, hard as hell
Munce-I 'ope you won't do nothing
rash, not afore you've paid me nv
whack
Henry Clegg-I haven't got the
iAOHcJ W ue IdSn L WISH | had,
Muncc-Well, 1 dunno. Seems t. me
shall lose what you owe me. shall
ave to do somethink. Absolute! (He
gets up, twirls round on his foot and
then sits down again.) What I can't
make out is. what you done with YOUR
wife's money.
Henry Clegg (angrily)-I tell you |
haven't done anything with it.
Munce-Well. why can't you paw me.
then?
Henry Clegg-I haven't had it. She's
got it!
Munce-Well, tell her to give It TO
you.
Henry Clegg-She won't let me have
IT, not blasted farthing of it!
Munce-What! Gle gapes at Clerr
IN astonlshment and then goes off into
helpless roars of laughter.) Oh Won
oloomln' fool! Ho, no, ho, ho. Ex-
cuse me laughin', won't you? Oh ho
no. no! Won't let you ave it? So
'elp me! Ere! Ere, | say; are Won
'er 'usband or 'er little blue-evcd Ind
on? Oh, oh, ho, no no!
Henry Clcgg-Shut up, you fool,
Munce--'Ere, not so much O. that ;f
you please. A man what owes what