davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-11-16
MIR. B. Baer
PREDICTS
A Tough Winter.

certified omen of a rough winter is that
papa's bankroll has flown South The old b. II.
generally waits until Christmas before it rents
the bridal suite in the bankruptcy courts.
Its departure six weeks ahead of time indi-
Gates that the winter of 182O-21 will be no.
torious for its rent billiards. profteering hur-
ricanes and coal drifts.
A cuckoo was seen chrping on boarding
house hatrack yesterday. This sign means
that II will be necessary to wire ahead for res
ervations in the nearest duplex poorhouse of
the better class.
The famous goosebone prophet OF Broadway
announces that he ordered a bowl Of chicken
salad and failed to discover a worm in 1t.
sure sign that the worms have dug in and re-
fuse to come out of the trenches BY Christmas,
He ordered three boiled eggs and only got two
showing that even arithmetic has futtered
South to escape the coming cold waves.
The bears at the Bronx Zoo have worn their
noses blunt trying to discover hollow lamp
post in which to hibernate for the winter. For
merry, bears rented hollow trees, but now they
demand electric lights with their leases.
The swinging doors curied up months ago.
The furnace cricket has left the old heater and
has taken a ballroom in the kitchen refrig-
orator, where he has even chance OF keep
ing warm until Spring. Restaurants are dish
ing out one oyster on a dozen half-shells, in.
dicating that even nature Is seeking to con-
serve its natural resources.
The official weather forecaster OF Roselle,
New Jersey, states that he took one drink OF
old Jumpsteady and saw a spotted Ford. He
thinks this is n sign OF robust Winter It's
two signs. When you start seeing spotted
Fords the other sign is that you want to stop
drinking.
.lts ~ nbt lnl tlestn nnt0 90
a sour winter on the proletarian pari mutuels.
start saving your money and about the
glad New Year some auctioneer will put you
on his mailing list and the sherins will hold
their annual convention in your front parlor.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-11-16

Lucretus quoted by Montague in his twelfth chapter OF
The Essays tells you that to make things too visible is
not always to make them more attractive.
To see the dim outlines of deer among the leaves
Of the forest is pleasing and exciting than to
see seventeen standing clearly the geological garden
Similarly ladies' you that the mysterious hunted and
admired ones should forget the improvement of
mystery stay the obscurng enchanting forest modesty
Don't out into the glazing display Of the geological
Garden
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-11-16
THE IS IN POLITICS.

observe this com bindton Of THIR-
TEEN letters IN American politics:
WOODROW WILSON
on election day
Nineteen tDenty
WARREN HARDING
Fourth Of March
The white House.
You recall that rs has been the
lucky number IN Woodroto WILSON'S
life. II looks as II that number
tciH continue TO figure IN the ma
toms political history.
JOHNNY LOVE.
was rejoiced to see cake-eater
at recent Sunday night service oil
my church on Capitol Hill. There
may be hope yet OF reforming some
Of them. WEE.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-11-16
g. 1tARra -

knew there was something
in the air" when HAM posted
those circulars in his Pullmans
about the cost OF coal 60 the W.
r. and L. Co. Coming events
cast their shadows.
BROOKLAND.
MILO II. had a birthday a few days
ago. 1t must have been pretty dry"
for him. for he writes:
"Clandestinely speaking. seems
as il l hadn't had a scuttle of
suds to wet my whistle since the
last days of Pompeii."
FUNK.
Fierce lessons.
Late hours.
Unexpected company.
Nothing. prepared.
Kept back. J. AND J.
There is q South American rookie
in the Georgetown Dental School
who seems to have piles Of money,
but there is also a northeast vamp
who seems to have got his number
all right. 1CHABOD CRANE.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-11-16
FUNK.
q. Il. DIS HARD ONE.

=. f. D. has never yet fiunked on q
math problem in the column, and be
works them all. He sends this ona,
which the editor believes will give
the sharks trouble:
The cube Of a certain number
plus equals three times the
number. What's the number?
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-11-16
THE BOYS ON THE RHINE


Darling, am coming back.
Silver threads among the black.
Now that peace in Europe nears,
I'll be back in seven years.
Home again with you once more
Say by Nineteen Thirty-four!
This time last year ] thought ia ~,
Sailing back across the sea
Back to where you sit and pine,
But we're stuck here on the Rhine
You can hear the boys all curse
war Is HI, but peace IL worseir-
when the next war comes around,
In the front line I'll be found
I'll rush in again pell.melI--
You bet ! will. IKE Heli---itts
HE'LL! X.
BOB or. says tie got this from an
adj In q Rollo. Mo. paper:
FOR SALE-An extra good
four-ycsr. COW giving milk
and other small articles 100 NJ.
merous 10 mention.
"Cra2y ca" Poet--"t wrote con.
net on my Gun. what shall I Goc'
"Rlble' joe sond u 20 the
Auhdry.' Z u o.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-11-16
The Manufacture of Wine.

The making OF wine sntedates history. Many
II the ancient wines owed their popularity to
spices which are still used In the East and In
the Mediterranean lands where the introduc.
ton OF wines Is credited to the Phoenicians. ,
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-11-16
EDWIN X. BIRKETT

EDWIN X. BIRKETT, Washing-
tonian who is a commercial traveller
In the South. has made note OF ads
in several North Carolina paperA
among them:
FOR SALE-Late model Ford
touring car. Herrman's Tin Shop
Ad in Tarboro. N. c.. paper:
Bring me your eggs and I win
hatch them at ! cent each. An
ME Andrews.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-11-16
The Pelican and His Habits.

The pelican parent birds catch fish and, after
eating their hll, deposit the others IN their
pouches under their bills and carry them 70
their young Thee pouches will hold from
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-11-16
Wars Influence on Women
Many Kinds of Influence. Here's

Since the war, marriages haphasard engagements
short and thoughess divorces frequent And the
dresses make you think that crazy in 1920
crazy before 1914.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-11-16
How can those good looking boys
ut the Benning abattoir be c. c.'s
when they are "bull-shooters"
BLOOMINGDALE.
SHE MADE HIM WAIT.

The other night at the Twelfth
street station Of the Virginia line we
saw a cake-eatcr and cute little
yirI who were evidently on their way
10 a dance. Though II was q O'Clock
the little charmer compelled the
cakie to wait until she read " and $,
Three School Girls.
xATHER1N, DOLLY, Lucy.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-11-16


Why do fashions change
after Q great war, and al
ways for the worse? That
is easy to answer, according
to the wise men.
After great wars many men
ire killed and missing. Hus-
bands are scarce, when men
IRE missing husbands are not
so easy to get.
Then women make a great
mistake. They hurry out to
l,unt for masculine attention,
nd change their clothing for
he worse to attract attention.
They think that making the
1ress higher from the ground
at the bottom, and lower from
the chin at the top helps
them. They are mistaken.
The greatest charm about a
woman is mystery, for mys-
:ery is the greatest quality
4 Che eyes of man MYS-
FRY AND RELUCTANCE,
they are women's weapon.
The pictures with this ar
ticle, taken from Lord North
cliffe's interesting Daily
News, shows how the war has
Infected engagements.
Women are now discussing
the question, ''How long
should engagements last, I"
and the opinion seems to be
about one month.
These pictures illustrate a
modern English engagement
lasting about one MINUTE.
Statistics in America tell
us that engagements made as
rapidly as all that bring
about marriages that are apt
to end about as rapidly as the
engagement.
There are thousands of d.
vorced . war brides in the
United States now, married
in haste, to repent at leisure. "
Carefully weighed mar
riages, and moderately long
engagements, also moderately
LONG and HIGH dresses are
lest in the long run.
The question of dressing or
undressing to attract and
please men is very old.
r.ucrofinu nuofAd nv MOntaO
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-11-16
OH. THESE MEM

Here's to the man who kisses his wife,
And kisses his wife alone,
For many a man kisses another mans ~
When he ought to kiss his own.
A. X. KEETER
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-11-16

MY DEAR Edgar.
I'm ASKED to help.
IN ALL sorts Of troubles
AND I do my best.
AND IN be glad.
TO HELP you out.
If YOU had denied.
WHAT MAMIE said.
ABOUT YOUR biting.
HER FATHERS finger.
BUT YOU don't deny it.
AND I assume.
IT MUST be true.
AND I ask you, Edgar.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-11-16

NaSt ~
If YOU did make up.
WITH NAMES father.
HOW WOULD he know.
IF HE held out his hand
THAT YOU wouldn't grab
II.
AND BITE i again.
AND YOU also admit.
YOU'VE TWO loose teeth.
AND THEY probably wig
gle.
AND THAT'S enough.
TO QUEER yo.. with me.
FOR THE rest Of my life.
IN THANK you.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-11-16

Yes, the cops are trying to
break up flirting. but who's
watching the cops. some or
whom are adept at this game
themselves? BAES.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-11-16
THE BOYS TO BLAME.

THE BOYS TO BLAME.
Huo1inD Is scandal.
Kissing Is shame.
But the boys Invented them
And zoe girls are not to Diane.
J. and j.
The editor has an invitation from
HARDWARE JAKE" SECOND
HAND NORMAN" and "SLAMY'
MUNITZ to visit "Bootlegger ave.
nue. Four-and-a-half street - and
observe the beautiful girls and the
handsome beaux on that thorough
fare.
FROM THE OLD HOME TOWN
.AnOther Accident!-
Last Saturday p. NJ, right after din
ner, our respected Motorman, JAKE
Snookins seen Bill Hawkins mule on
the trak eatink grass from between the
tyes neer the odd Fellows Hswl Jake
waz soar becaws ne has had to get out
nine tymes in the past weak to push
he Jest went ahed with his carr, LAM
ing up his sleeve cuz he wuz going 10
puseh the mule omen ne tran s.GW
But what happint waz different from
wot he thout waz goink to happen,
cauz the mule lett ZOOS ana K'I IT, ~
skeered the lyfe outen Old peter sunny
side. passenjiur who wsz goink 10 tne
sematsry for a minute and almost went
forever. T. w.
I've got it on other male fans.
| saw a girls ear uncovered. L
was shocked and mortified be-
yond expression II l can get
a snapshot Of the ear l will send
il In for publication.
4. NJ. O'S.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-11-16

A certified omen Of rough winter is that
papa's bankroll has flown South. The old B. T.
generally waits until Christmas before it rents
the bridal suite in the bankruptcy courts.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1920-07-28
DODGEyILLE SUNLETS

The league OF nations is the only
issue now, proclaim both Cox and
Harding. Tweedle dee, twedle dunn.
1t will surely be terrible battle. And
just when we thought all the wars
were over, too.
Harding's oratory reminds us most
distressfully of some of Wilson's. ex-
cept that we never happened to no.
tice anything from the pen of the
father of the world that was not gram
NAUTICAL.
If you wondered last week why one
of our pages was wasted to reproduce
the Democratic platform, with all its
bunk and misleading statements, we
owe you an explanation. That page
was the work of the Western News
paper Union, which usually gives us
such good service that we did not
think of examining it last week, and
did not know of the blunder till after
the paper was printed Old-party
platforms are seldom worth the paper
il takes to print them.
Even the editor doesn't read boil
er plate.)
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1920-07-28
A GLASS HOJrSE

And now that the campaign this
year is to be conducted along the old
partisan lines, surely the Herald will
admit that Governor Cox more nearly
represents the position of The Record
than Senator Harding does the posi-
ton Of the Herald, which was a sun
porter for the Republican presiden-
tial nomination of Senator johnson
the man who in 1912 was called "a
faker and BLACKBOARD" in the edi-
torial columns of Senator Harding's
ewspaper.-Bloomington Record.
Almost the same Bish as Governor
Cox's paper in 1916 defending the
pro-German attitude that American
citizens mustn't go on ships carrying
war materials. Get out of your glass
house, Bish, or quit throwing stones
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1920-07-28
NOTICE TO DETERMTNE DFScFNT

NOTICE TO DETERMINE DESCENT.
In County Court for Grant County.
Wisconsin
In re. Descent of Lands of
Anna G. Mankel, deceased.
Notice Is Hereby Given, That at a
special term. of the County Court to
be held in and for said county, at the
court house, at the city of Lancaster.
in said county, on the 9Th Tuesday Of
August, A. D., 1920, the following mat
ter will be heard, considered, eXamin-
ed and adjusted
The application of Frank c.. Lewis
of the city of Lancaster, Wisconsin.
to determine the heirship and descent
OF the lands of Anna G. Mankel. late
OF the town of BeetoWn, in said coun-
ty, deceased, said lands being de-
scrlbed as follows, to-wit:-
Commencing in the center of the
Lancaster and Beetown road Fifteen
15) chains North of the quarter Sec
tion corner, between Sections three
CD and Ten (10) Town Four (4)
North, Range Three CD West of the
4th P. M, thence South Fifty-one (51)
degrees West along the center of said
road Sixteen Q6) chains to the place
of beginning; thence North 251a de-
grees West, 3.56 chains; thence North
SAB chains; thence West 5.94 chains
thence South 935 chains; thence East
5.47 chains; thence South % degrees
East 80 links; thence North 81 de-
grees East 244 chains to the place
of beginning, containing SOB acres.
Commencing at a point which is
1922 feet South and 610 feet West of
the South East corner of the North
half of the South West quarter of
Section Three CD Town Four "a
North, Range Three CD West; thence
West 800 feet; thence South $50 feet;
thence East 800 feet; thence North
$50 feet to the place of beginning,
containing 2.57 acres more or less.
Commencing 1121a feet South of
the center of the South West quarter
of Section Three 90, Town Four ca
North, Range Three go West, running
thence East sos links; thence South
$50 feet; thence West sos links
thence North $50 feet, to the place of
beginning, containing 81 acres.
Commencing at point that is
2471s feet North and 610 feet West
of the South East corner of the North
East quarter of the South West quar-
ter of Section Three (3), Town Four
(D North, Range Three CD West.
thence running West 800 feet; thence
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1920-07-28

plowed ground occasionally to kill
weeds and save moisture.
Lousy Hogs.
Three recent experiments carried
on by the Department of Agriculture
show that lousy hogs not only con-
sumo more food and make less meat.
but that they are uneasy or restless,
condition that doubtless lessons the
pork-producing abilities of the ami
mails. When not eating, the lice-rid-
den swine spend most of their time
rubbing themselves or running
around. In one experiment it cost ex-
actly 81 a hundred pounds of pork
more to feed the hogs with lice than
it did to feed the clean animals. In
another, it cost $3.50 more, and in the
third, 1924 more. Get rid of lice
using some good commercial dip, or
crude oil.
Pig Club Exhibit.
Boys, get your pigs ready for the
exhibit at the county fair. Liberal
prizes will be given the winners. Sec
Frank Meyer, Lancaster, is now pre-
pairing the premium list
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1920-07-28
FARM NOTES.
Try This for More Corn.


We nave all read about the prac-
eice very common in corn growing
SECTIONS or taking an old mower or
Soin planter wheel, hitching one
.loiSe 10 1t, then dragging it between
me me corn rows during a hot, dry spell.
ms IS one OF the simplest and best
ways OF conserving moisture and in
creasing your corn crop. On the Ben
culver farm, near Platteville. we saw
luis Delng worked to perfection the
past week where Truman Hill and the
idltnIul farm horse "Old Top were
using an old planter wheel and doing
Soou Job OF making a dust mulch in
the corn field. Just watch the re-
SUITS IN this field which is sure to re-
sist the dry weather better than a
nelo tnat IS left untouched
|. L. Vesperman, assessor for No.
Lancaster, furnished us with the bull
census for his town. 1t is as follows:
Number of purebred bulls-8O
Number of grades ~
ms gives us $40 purebred bulls
IN use in the town. There are 6S ST.
los and many more are being built
thls summer. Let us hear from other
assessors with a complete census of
purebred, grade, or scrub bulls in the
town with any other items of inter
est
Heavy Honey Harvest.
one beekeeper in the county has
thus lar extracted eighteen tons of
money. Grant county beekeepers have
taken off carloads of honey this seas
on. Our bees have not been on a
strike, but are working overtime and
nave done everything possible to meet
the nigh cost of sugar by producing a
sweet that is better than sugar and
sells at lower price. Grant county
money will be sent to many states
this season.
Official Testing Pays.
The best dairymen of the country
recognize the Importance of doing of
fetal testing to establish a butterfat
record for the best COWS in the herd.
There are ten Guernsey breeders, 8
Holstein breeders, and 1 Jersey
breeder in the county that are doing
official testing this year.
Exhibits at the Fair.
FINE sheaf samples of Mammoth
clover and timothy were received
from P. S. Graham last week. Chris
Hartman has the best spring wheat
seen thus far and choice bundle is
being saved for the county exhibit for
the State Fair. Who has a good
sheaf of winter wheat? Let's have the
best that Grant county produces in
grain, fruit and vegetables for our
county exhibit
July Flowing.
The Farm Journal makes the fol-
lowing suggestion:
July blowing may make from 5 to
10 bushels an acre more wheat than
September blowing Pillow just after
the grain is cut. If blowing is de-
layed, each stubble will carry off soil
moisture to the air. Cultivate the
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1920-07-28
HAZEL GREEN.

The Aide family here received word
last week of the serious injury through
accident of Will Aides 11-year-old
girl in Canada. She was taken to the
hospital and was somewhat better the
last they heard. She had received a
stroke on the head from a pole or log
in the dooryard when out playing.
They are quite anxious about her con-
dition. -News-Herald.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1920-07-28
CAUGHT WITH THE GOODS

Caught with the goods the Bloom
ington Record as usual cleyerly
avades the issue which was whether
or not the Herald called Jim Reed .
leading Democrat. Instead the Rec
ord devotes half a column to fell
us what good Wilson man the editor
is You've told us that a good MANY
times before Bish Get something
new.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1920-07-28

she was one of the best women in the
world to care for the sick and those
IN need. And the scriptures saw.
Blessed are the merciful for thew
shall obtain mercy" She was laid
to rest in Hillside cemetery beside
her husband, the Rev. Guy Campbell
ofhclating and the services being held
at the NJ. E. church. *a#
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1920-07-28

South $50 feet; thence East $40 feet:
thence North $50 feet more or less to
the place of beginning. All of said
lands being in Grant County, Wis
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1920-07-28

Frances and Dorothy OIeson went
10 Livingston, Friday, to visit their
uncle the weekend.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1920-07-28
JULY HUMANE THOUGHT.

Humane work is now an activity of
the state, and teaching of kindness to
the human beings and to dumb ami
mails is recognized by the state as a
function of good government
You are appealed to as a good cit
izen to help make humane work in
all it's branches effectual in your
community.
In these days of unrest, think kind
ly, speak gently, show mercy. Prac-
tice this in your home; teach it to
your children.
Let this be our motto-I will first
of all seek to be kind.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1920-07-28
Mrs. Martha Winnefred Reisic.

Martha Winnefred Davis was born
July Is, 1850 and died July II, 1920.
She was born near Shullsburg, Wis,
moving to the vicinity of Ellenboro in
1877. She had lived in this locality
ever since. Her husband, Jacob Refs
ic. died Mar 28th. 1912 To them
was born one son, Sam E. Reisic who
with her youngest brother, John j.
Davis, was with her during her last
Illness Besides her son she leaves
to mourn her loss three brothers,
VIM. of the town of Ellenboro, Geo. E.
of Denver, Col, and John J. of the
town of Ellenboro Three brothers
and five sisters have preceded her to
the life beyond. Her friends say that
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1920-07-01

Stud ents returning to- the sBemtd ~
Hiah school this fall to- Tesume thetrs
work viii scarcely be- a5se 70 rec0g-s
nike the Sif1t terror Ut the bull din 8, AZ &C.
Eicprding t0 the present ndica tons az
work of renoyAting and refnishtnga
no interior ofs the tbuild Hing has been
m progress since the cI0s!lg Of the
building for the summer vacation
and IL sprogressitl!g rapidly nnder the
direction off, uperinte ndent ~ ~ 4.
Bagby, with the aid ot the tanitors
Eof the various city schOo build ti ID g 9
s5 over /, 900 desks, which were badly
Hpotted with Ink and dirt, have been
rem oyated, first by dipping In = tank
nndar 4 process known Us the Cast
lnife process, which removes AL paint
and old yarnisll, and then. by applying
4 new coat OF varnish and sh ellac !.
The tons sof the desks are toS be stain-i
I'd and the entire desk vii be hnished.
Ffn. q much tighter color han before
walls and ceilings arc being fresh
II kaIsomfned in light olorssAnd the 1te
woodwork Is being rehnished 70 put.
every room in spic and span condi-t
ton for the coming school year:
Floors and stairways Are also being;
repaired III the worn spots The fur
mace and heating plants H. all the
ibuildings have also been given =
Thorough going over and have been,
i put in first class Shape for the cold
months. (. s
Practically all the work IL being
done by the janitors OF the city school
buildings thereby saving the school
board the cost of additional help.
When the school term is called again
lthis fan all building 81 will be IN COM
iplete readiness to care for the stu.
dents. ~ rs
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1920-07-01
s(BysUnitedSl ssiP 'i:is)

i N San francisco, July I. (Martin) -
The resolutions 5committee OF the
democratic ational convention today
adopted the league of nations plank
putting the party on record as favor
ing the ratification OF the treaty
without reservations that would i'm.
pair Its essential integrity with an
amendment by Sena tor alsh ;of Mas
sachusetts stating. that thesparty does
not oppose reservations that would
make the pact clearer and more spe-
citlc as to the American obligations
and sovereignty under the league.