Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1920-04-11
POLITICAL BYPLAY
ENLIVENS DINNER
OF GRIDIRON CLUB
CONTINUED from First Page.)

|
Madame, this is not the Senate
| restaurant" protested the president
We'll. then. pass thirsty sister
glass Of wine"
Verify. sister. you speak a dead
language" groaned a member. And
you women are the folks who killed
smoke"
WHO runs the home brewery" de-
manded the skirt"
Gentlemen. this woman Is now talk
ing sense" asserted a member.
Well: she speaks too late. Why
didn't she vote sense?"
"She will-from now ON. Some day
we may have a lady Vice President of
the United States"
I'VE demand self-determination, and
! II we don't get that-male extermina-
ton" cried the intruder.
too. They're already in parliament
Once they had q woman In Congress.
And she was at q Gridiron dinner.
too. And made speech. But never
again. Madame. the exit is on your
right"
"Don't you dare put me out"
But the Gridiron Club will not ad-
NIT skirts again"
"Oh, well, II that's the only trouble
off with the skirt"
Whereupon. to the momentary con-
sternation Of the dignified guests she
proceeded to divest herself of skirt.
hat and wig, when 1t was disclosed
that the "she" was in fact John H.
Small. son of the late ]. Henry Small.
who had been recently elected a
limited member Of the club and was
being haxed a bit by way of initia-
ton. So everybody breathed easier.
What would any gathering be these
days without a ouija board exhibit
guests would want to be in the vogue, so
three guaranteed mediums" presented
| themselves to interpret the responses
Of the ouija, which was installed upon
black -draped table. It was a noisy
ouija. given to strong language at
times, which was repeated by the
mediums for the benefit of those who
sat far OF.
Following the prevailing style in
highest quarters, we have dispensed
| with a cabinet" 1t was explained. I'VE
propose to evoke from the dim recesses
| of the catacombs Of politics the spirits
of the politically dead. to raise the
spirits of those who still think they
are not politically dead. and to raise
Cain generally"
invoked. and ouija raped thrice.
~Deader Than That
"Oh. he's deader than that: rap
barber" cried the interpreter.
Finally responding. the spirit de-
IL Will H. Croker had not fed me
those California ripe olives"
William H. Taft's spirit" explained,
Il did not mean what ! said about the
treaty when l said that did not mean
what said I said"
~ xRr,n 4lr~ 90 H.
and horns, and the table >swayed and
tipped when William ]. Bryan was
summoned.
Wonder what scared those fell
lows" the spirit was reported as say
ing. Il only wanted to say Hello l
may be knocked into a cooked hat and
politically dead. but that bunch are
awfully scared Of ghosts"
Chairman Cummings Of the demo-
cratic national committee was inter
preted as saying, Il would like to give
you a message. but the White House
hasn't o. KID it yet"
Franklin X. Lanes spirit declared.
Like Jonah, / have come from the
Interior; like JOB. I have some sore
spots; but unlike jeremiah I am not
going to lament. / have faith in
America. We are only suffering from
| political measles"
Marse Henry Watterson's spirit re-
pueO 10 AAne b. II aSn measles,
Frank: It's meddling. Some of our
| doctors have the itch Of greatness
Half a score of other prominent spir-
| its responded and then the spirit OF
the White House was invoked.
Il hear the click of the typewriter
reported the seer. Il see an anxious
| crowd Of candidates peering in at the
! TO be or not to be a candidate-that
is the question. Whether it's better
| to be the goat In a solemn referendum
| and suffer the sings and arrows OF
| Jim and Bill and Hiram, or let some
| one else embark on that sea Of trouble
| and let him have his hide taken or
Exit Ouija Table.
The White House invocation broke
up the party and the ouija table fled
| the room, followed by the interpret.
| ers.
| A galaxy OF presidential aspirante
| were shown in. They were described
| as three republicans. one democrat
Bill Bryan and Herb Hoover" One
| Harding spoke first. basing his claims
for the presidency on the fact that he
| To the air Of Beautiful Ohio" he
| sang q song to the glories Of the
| Buckeye state.
Then A. Mitchell Palmer stated his
| claim.
IT have cut down the cost Of high
| living" he said.
| Like Kelly did" was the retort
| Were you a candidate for senator
| against Penrose and Pinchot In 1914r
| II decline to answer and plead the
| statute of limitations"
| Let that pass. There are others
| with hidden chapters in their lives
| What about profiteersr'
"All in jail or on the way" An6
then he sang:
| AFTER the war time was over,
Oft did you hear them say:
| Thanks to the administration,
Prices are lower today
But when you went to the market
1t was the old refrain.
Sung by a gang Of highbinders.
| Prices have gone ND again."