Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-07-01
Such Is Life

Association sent some pretty mod
els CARRIED in knee-length skirts to
Washington, d. c.. for inspection.
They were Inspected. all right.
all right
They went to Senator H~arding's
Office to get his approval. But the
senator saw them first and beat
1t for the golf course.
They found other prominent
citizens willing to take a look and
express an opinion.
Skirts said one senator,
should reach all the way down to
the hem"
They ought to be as long as the
lady wants EN-" replied another.
are" observed a diplomat. II usu-
ally forget my glasses anyhow"
The most noticeable feature
about these new dresses" comment
Ell m who didn't need glasses. lis
their eatLre @Ssence below the
knees"
One senator pointed out that as
this was a modern experiment in
1g-leaf apparel it might be wise to
get a first-hand opinion from the
special assistant attorney general.
50 they trudged over to Howard
Figg's office.
Figg disclaimed any claim to
being an expert in the matter of
feminine frocks. But he did think
as he emphatically put it, that
skirts should come below the
waist"
Now, then. IL all these wise
guys can't agree upon a little
thing like the roper length of a
skirt, how in the world are they
ever going to agree on any such
important topic as the League of
Nations, or the Sugar Supply?
They don'tl
Are there any objections to our
asking at this time just what the
world is coming to-?
Hearing none
An enterprising manufacturer
of automobile accessories has de-
signed a radiator cap with a whim-
steal and adjustable little figure on
it.
"He fits your mood" proudly and
advertisingly asserts the manufac-
turer. BE you sad; twist Knob "A"
and he'll look sad. You rise cheer
full in the morning and, presto!
Knob "B" makes him smile"
Query, before re-propounding our
original demand for data on the les
tination of Earth-what lever
makes him look thirsty?
A realtor explains the housing
shortage this way:
THE more houses built the
greater demand for building mate
rial and the higher price, which in
turn makes for higher rents.
2-The fewer houses built the
greater demand for houses and the
higher the rents.
The lad who had to choose be-
tween the devil and the deep blue
sea was a fortunate Individual,
wasn't he?
this has something to do with the
housing shortage:
Mr.. and Mrs. Gotdough. without
a child to their name, live in a town
house Of % rooms half the year,
and in a summer cottage of 46
rooms during the summer.
Mr.. and Mrs. Lhtlecash, with
eight children, live in a four
room fat during the winter and mi
1t is just barely possible that
a four room fat during the sum-
mer.
And there's a dire White House
shortage staring a flick of states
men square in the face.
But the most serious thing in all
the world is a home shortage. Ask
any down-and-outer.
And why is it. do you suppose
that the family living in the stuffy
downtown tenement spend SO much
time at home, when the family
dwelling in the cool and comfy
suburban home must close up the
place for the summer to get away
from the awful heat?"
Yes, you guessed It, the right
answer is $$ss!
Squire Abner Harpington says
there aren't enough houses for peo-
pie to live in because so many peo-
pie are living in automobiles.
The squire also the
opinion that there'd be a lower cost
of living if there were more chicken
houses in dwelling houses back
yards.
But there is a ray of sunshine
hiding back of every cloud even
the housing shortage. All n needs
do is hunt for it.
Tom Duff found one: "The
fewer houses the fewer lawns to
NOW in hot weather and the fewer
furnaces to tend in cold weather."
It's possibly true in a sort of a way
That Mozo is c~annibalistic.
He may eat his fellows. but not ev-
cry day,
And then to an urge dietistie.
But. If IN occasion he knocks OF
a foe.
Or butchers a baby for food,
Remember and envy, as hot
breezes blow,
That Mooz goes perfectly nude.
History Slightly Jazzed.
King Henry VIII of England was
born 429 years ago. The dope on
Henry is that he was a model young
man and kept in the straight and
narrow until he was thirty-six, when
he suffered an acute attack of Reno
fever, with consequent relapses
from time to time. Whenever he
relapsed his current wife ran into
a spell of hard luck that usually
ended in death. Henry was not as
bad as he might have been. but
where did he spend those thirty-six
years?
"A labor shortage, get that bo %
Said Kansas Jim to One Eyed Joe.
Work can't be none too short for
me.