The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1920-11-03
The Things
the Play


Copyright. 1880. BY Doubleday. Page
& Co; published tv special ar
varoemenf tc,ih the Wheeler Syn
dioafe. Inc.
Being acquainted with . news
paper reporter who had a couple Of
free passes. got 10 see tho per
Torrance n few Btxhts ago at one
Of the popular vaudeville houses
One OF the number was q violin
solo by . striking looking man not
much past forty. but with very gray
thick hair. hot being afflicted with
taste for music. ! let the system
OF noises drift past my ears while
regarded the man.
There was a story about that
chap q month or two ago said the
reporter. They gave mo the an.
sisnment II was 10 run a column
ana was TO be on the extremely
hight and joking order. The old man
seems 20 like the funny touch
give 10 local happenings. oh. yes.
I'm working on a farce comedy now.
Well. went down TO the house and
got all the details. but I certainly
fell down on that Job. ] went back
ana turned In q comic writo-up Of
an East Side funeral instead Why
Oh. couldn't rsem 10 get hold Of IL
with my funny hooks. somehow,
Maybe you could make q one-act
tragedy out ~ Il for a surtainralser.
Ill give you the detailn--
After the performances my friend
the reporter. rccitcd TO me the facts
over tho wurxburgcr.
Il see no reason" said I. when he
had concluded. why that shouldn't
make . rafting good funny story
Those three people couldn't have
acted In . more absurd and prepos-
ferrous manner II they had been real
actors In q real theatre I'm really
afraid that all the stage IL worId
anyhow. and all the players merely
men and women. The things the
play. 10 tho way quote Mr.. Shakes
peare"
TRY IL said the reporter.
4 will gaia /. and did. 10 show
him how he could have made q
humorous column Of Il for his paper
There stands q house near Ablng
don Square On tho ground Zoo,
there has been Tor tweu;yfI five years
a little store where toys and notloni
and stationery are sold.
One night twenty years ago. therv
was a wedding in the rooms abovs
the store. The Widow Mayo ownec
tho house and x,ore Her daughter
Helen was married 70 Frank Barry
John DELANEY was beet man. Heller
was Is. and her picture had beer
printed I'm . morning paper next "a
the headlines OF . wholesale Fe
male Murdercss- story from Butte
Mont But after your eye and intel
ligence had rnJected the connection
you seized your maxnifyinw Elas'
and read beneath the portrait hei
description as one OF a series Of
Prominent Beauties and Bellies OF
the lower west side.
Frank Barry and John DELANEY
were prominent" young beaux Of
the same eide. and bosom friends
whom you expected 70 turn upor
zach other every time the curtain
went up. One who pays his money
for orchestra seats and fiction ex
poets this- That Ia the first funny
hisa that has turned up in the story
yet Both had made great race
for Helen's hand. When Frank won
JOIN shook his hand and congratu.
lated him--honestiy. he did
After the ceremony Helen ran up
stairs 20 put on her hat She val
getting married In a travelling dress
She and Frank were going to Old
Point Comfort for . week. Down.
stairs the usual horde OF gibberins
cascdweIlrrs were waiting with
their hands fun OF old congress
gaiterr and paper bags OF hominy.
Then there was a rattle Of the
fireescape. and into her room jumps
the mad and infatuated John De
ianey. with damp curl dropping
upon his forehead. and made violen,
and reprehensive love to his los,
ono. entrcating her to fee or fiy
with him 20 the Riviera. or the
Bronx. or any old place wiure there
are Italian skies and dolce far
niente
II would have carried Blaney off
his feet TO see Helen repulse him
with blazing and scornfui eyes she
fairly withered him by demanding
whatever he meant by speaking &c
respectable people that way.
In few moments she had him
going. Tho manliness that had pos
seased him departed He bowed low
and said something about -irresist
ible impulso- and forever carry In
his heart the memory of"--and she
suggested that he catch the first
|firs-escape going down
II will away" said John Delaney
ito the furthermost parts Of the
earth. cannot remain near you
and know that you are another's
l win TO Africa, and there amid
other scenes strive 10 for
For goodness sake. get OUT said
Helen. Somebody might come in
lie knelt upon one knee. and che
extended him one white hand that
he might give 1t farewell kiss.
Girls, was this choice boon OF the
great little god Cupid ever vouch
safed you---to have the fellow you
want hard and fast, and have the
one YOU don't want come with a
damp curl on his forehead and knee