The Meridian times. (Meridian, Idaho) 1909-1938, 1920-11-05

tempted to do some idiOtic thing, and
have to suppress such impulses with
a mailed fist. It's all the outcome of
vanity. A man hates to admit that
he's a back number. He wants to
assure the plain people that, notwith-
standing his gray whiskers and string
halted legs, he's a four-hOrse team
with a dog under the wagon, when
it comes to athletic skill.
81 was in the livery barn the other
evening, when young Fretsinger be-
gan explaining that he had been TAX
ing boxing lessons from one of the
old masters. He had learned all the
| tricks of the game, and was just suf-
| fering agOnies because there was no
body present who would stand up and
! exchange scientific swats with him.
"In my younger days, if I do say it
myself, l was a star performer in
the ordinary nock-down-and-drag-o out
form of combat, but l never was worth
shucks at boxing. Nobody knows that
| better than l do. Why, then, did l
inform Fretsinger that l would be glad
TO spar a few rounds with him? 1t
surely was vanity and nothing else.
/ had an idea that, while he might
have plenty of the fancy stuff on
hand, might land one of my old-time
lawmakers; in which case l felt sure
the town would soon be ringing with
the story of an old mans prowess.
$50 l took off my long jimswinger
coat, and my vest, and stood up for
battle. If anybody tells you, my
friends, that Fretsinger doesn't know
how to WELD his hands, you may re-
gard the story as rOOrback. never
saw fists so numerous as on that occa-
sion. l couldn't see anything else for
a while, and they landed on me in
many unexpected places, and / don't
remember a time when l was so en-
barrassed.
"Fretsinger explained afterward
that he merely tapped me gently be-
cause I was venerable man, old
enough to be his grandfather. In that
] case 1 never want to become involved
in an argument with him when he is
| in earnest. 1 had black eye for
week after this recital, and my nose
;, has never satisfied me since. Every
! time | came downtown, / had to ex-
plain to a thousand people that black
ened my eye while splitting kindling
, or that l dropped a sad-iron on II
There is nothing more humiliatine
than a black eye, and made up my
, mind that I'd try to realize my ad
= vanced age thereafter, and behave my
! self like a grave and reverend man.
:, 'sBut no sooner had my eye recoV
cred than I was in trouble again.
saw some young men wrestling, ant
paused to point out that they didn'
know the rudiments of the game.
assured them that in my younger days
! / was a holy terror, and I didn't thinl
that my hand had lost it's cunning
1t would afford me genuine happiness
l said, to show them how wrestling
was done in the palmy days Of Mul
| doom and Whistler.
$50 I removed my coat and vest ant
went into executive session with
husky young man who had no respec
for gray hairs. l am not sure abOu
what followed, but I think he mus
have thrown me over his head. Any
how, made a great dent in the cart
with my person, and was so sore TO
| two weeks that had to take mysel
around in a wheelbarrow. OF course
| l am determined to make no more ba
q breaks of the kind, but l haven't muc
3 confidence in myself, and tomorrow
you may see me climbing tree hal
h a mile high, to show some boys hoy
to rob birds nests"