The Belding banner-news. (Belding, Mich.) 1918-1973, 1920-06-16

ing of Bran NASH, We feel that
scne Of this crazy stuff ought to work
out now and then even though. we d.
come pretty near losing our precious
Young life about every time we shove
it over. So many people called for our
occasional column which we had
headed "Funnygraphs" that W e
would have liked to have operated 1t
again, but on account of the fact that
several people took the articles which
appeared in "Funnygraphs' serious
ly and came in the sanctum and tried
10 thump our thought dome, we hated
to return to our old love. Another
reason for our discarding our old
heading "Funnygraphs" is that we
have Just recently received letter
from the editor of the Chickasha
Comanche, at Chickasha, Oklahoma
in which he not only threatens legal
proceedings but threatens to take the
matter in his own hands if we persist
in publishing any more stuff under
that heading, claiming that he has a
copyright on it which he secured a
year ago.
We don't give a golldum about what
that narrow minded cuss has got in
lieve that if we carried the matter up
to the supreme court we could use
the heading long after the old boy
who happens to be guiding the desti-
MES of the Chickasha Comanche has
got tired calling for ice water in his
future home, but we amt going to
put no fight up about it anil we are
just going to grab on to Bran
Mash" and hang on to it and defend
it with the last drop of our hearts
blood if necessary. There isn't a
man under the sun who ought to care
whether we use Bran Mash or not
unless it might be old George Tebbel
over at SMYRNA and so long as we
can run faster than he can we don't
care hang if he care or not.
The thing which made us think Of
this was that recently we stood out
on the street corner on Saturday
night and counted the Fords rs they
went past and we remarked that we
believed that Bedding had more
Henrys to the square inch than any
other city in the world, Orleans in
cluded. In some way Fred Keister,
over at Ionia got ahold of our saying
ing letter from Fred. Dear Eddie
You may think that you have a sur
felt of Henrys in Belding, but believe
henry country-in fact there is strong
talk of giving up in despair and
changing the name to Henry county.
At the very least calculation there is
one henry here to every Hank, Hez
aoI Hi,.a M ~, The xxbn1o xxOrl1 Tf Il
attempt to cross the street. like a
chicken, there will be henrys charg-
ing at me from all directions-they
even seem to come from not only the
four quarters of the earth, out from
above and below. If | start to light
my pipe while crossing street,
good night! Pm almost sure to get
bumped in the public square. If
for a moment desire to feast mine
eyes on the symmetrical Typography
of any of the numerous village vam-
pires promenading on the other side
of the thoroughfare, a procession OF
henrys will imediately intercept my
line os vision-curse them. | have
found out here that henrys throw
shoes, stones, paving brick and other
stuff, shed their underwear fasteners,
and sneeze in their mufflers all over
the place. If / try to engage in con-
versation on the corner, a bevy of
henrys will dash up and commence
swapping at me, at least they will
stand there and growl so loud that
can not hear my own voice. Eddie,
there are henrys, henrys everywhere,
but not a drop to drink-pardon me
there old man, / should have said
'not a place to think, but you know
what force of habit will do to a man
They died like flies on the street
during the hot spell those three days
back. 1t kept the street sweepers
busy brushing them out of the way.
Every morning at the break of dawn
which in this case happens to be a
regular crash. some hostler will try
to animate his recalcitrant and re-
luctant henry beneath my bedroom
window. Quite, often he breaks the
handspring or something and then as
a result the air is blue for the en-
suing hour with intermittent cough
ing, strangling, snorting, wheeling,
wailing, signing and bucking such as
only a high strung, feverish henry
can produce when in the throes of a
delerium. No, old scout, if you are
still of the opinion that Beldlng has
corner on henrys-to-th e-square-
inch just come down to Ionia and give
the henry situation the once over. You
need not necessarily wait for a Sat-
urday night-come anytime, as we
herewith hurl defiance at any city,
town, village or hamlet which at
tempts to take away this henry affair
from US Affestionately, Fred
A paid-in-advance subscriber who
has sickened of our publication of
items from time to time regarding
the new depot (Which is going to be
built, by heckD sends in the follow
ing for publication in this column:
When the moon shines in the daytime,
and the sun sinks in. the east,
When we care no more for money
than we do for Fleichmann's
yeast,
When Standard Oils gone busted and
no angels fill the skies
Belding will get it's railroad station
in that Sweet Bye and Bye.