The Chattanooga news. [volume] (Chattanooga, Tenn.) 1891-1939, 1920-11-09
THE ONCE over
The Low Cost Of LIVING.
(BY H. 1. PHILLIPS.)

| Government investigators announce
that portions are, going up, and prices
going down In restaurants and lunch
i rooms. 4et
The nfty-tMo slices to-a deck sys-
| TEN OF bread cutting IL to be cut in
hAif. with the Joker and crust no longer
Wild in two-card draw.
Butter win be served in portions per-
| hitting at least two trips by the knife.
| l1xtra portions may be obtained without
permission OF the Wartime Conserva-
| ton board.
| The "con" IL to be taken out OF con-
somme. and the chicken that has been
limited to one wade through the soup
in accordance with rigid one-way traffic
regulations will now be permitted to
make q round trip.
Mock turtle soup will be less mock
| and more turtle.
! The long standing split between the
| peas in split pea soup has been ad-
| Justed, and one whole pea win be
| guaranteed with every portion.
| The commission for the conservation
| OF waterways has taken hold OF the
| tomato soup situation and ruled that
| the tomato must be mightier than the
reservoir from now on.
And, oh, mani the fish entree. thanks
to a policy OF protecting the rights OF
small rations. WIN be given more recog-
milton. It has been impossible to recog-
nize II In the past. ~
Washington has announced that the
fish portion must be larger than the
slice of lemon and that the practice of
| exasperating the patron by hiding said
| fish under a spray of parsley, or holly.
or whatever II IL must be abandoned.
In all meat orders the emphasis Ii to
be put on the last three letters of that
word and the policy OF serving ONE
BONE for about eight bones and half
is to be abolished.
Chopped steak and hash will be abb
solutely forced to declare themselves,
their politics and their component parts.
There is to be more duck and less
roast duck and Dreaded breast Of guinea
hen viii have more breast and less
breading. ssif
Squads are to be cheaper and there
IL to be no charge for the frilled white
paper rolled on the drumsticks.
Beef is to fall. This will mean more
beefing by the chef and less by the
customer.
The practice of serving potatoes
balls, has been ordered stopped. Numer-
Gus camphor balls have lately found
their way into such orders by mistake.
From now on there win be more
gravy for the customer and less for the
proprietor.
AT last patron will be guaranteed
his just desserts. All portions OF des-
sert will DO visible to the naked eye.
This will result in a saving to the res
taurant amounting to hundreds as well
ms the patron. Every restaurant has
lost hundreds OF dollars worth OF dishes
q week. due to attempts OF diners to
scrape the pears Oft the plates. How
were they to know the fruit was painted
on?
And shades of old New England
the Socony system of price fixing as
applied to pies is to be cast aside. New
blueprints have been drawn up to gov
ern the early winter pie cuts; and @
customer win be able to get a size to
ut him. In the past the standard pie
cut has been infants size only, Adults
sizes and models are now promised.
The water portion In finger bowls will
be much larger, but customers from |
the sticks are respectfully urged not to