The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1920-05-27
ON SECOND THOUGHT
BIZ JAY e. HOUSE
eFrom Philadelphia Public Ledgsr)

| fFrom Phfladeiphia Public Ledger)
The column extends its sympathy to
Samuel Gompers,> who shortly is to
engage in joint debate with Governor
Henry ]. Allen In many respects Mr..
Gompers has been an able president.
His followers frankly admit he kept
the country off the rocks during the
war But Mr.. Gompers is not for the
hastings. His most effective weapon
is the stop watch. His most impress
sive gesture is that of making congress
cover.
Not that it matters. Nothing was
ever settled in joint debate. Winning
one constitutes zero in achievement.
Mr. Vice President Marshall says
the thing of which the country stands
most in need is good five-cent cigar.
Mr.. Marshall has been so long a MEM
Der Of the leisured classes that he mis-
apprehends the proletariat. The search
for a good five-cent cigar has been
definitely abandoned.
AS a member of the organization in
good standing at the time its charter
was permitted to lapse, we pronounce
it the most fatuous chase in which the
American people were ever engaged.
cial hero" writes one for whose
opinion we strive. What is an arti-
fetal hero?" An artificial hero is a
plain, plug citizen of approximately
sixteen cand1epower. who manages,
one way or another. to enlist the
friendly interest of the newspaper
reporters.
Very appropriately, it seems to us.
the overall campaign originated with
an organization known as the Cheese
club.
You may not get that one at first
blush, SO to speak, but if you have
patience il eventually will reach the
destination to which we have adj
dressed it.
1t can be said of nearly every rich
man that he did not make his money
raising angora goats.
Do not worry>because big game is
growing scarce 1t probably won't
make any difference to you.
You probably had noticed that, most
of those who begin at the bottom stay
there.
Those who keep track of the mari
tai adventures of pugilism, past and
present, annotate Norman Selby's re-
cent marriage with marginal note to
the effect that it is his sixth. Now
the obvious comment is that the kid
is a glutton for punishment; but that
seems a trifle ungallant. and we pre-
fer trail less definitely marked.
How would it do to say Mr.. Selby
still ducks with all the grace and agil-
ity that marked the days of his ac-
| tivity in the prize-ring? You like it?
Very we'll. WE'LL let it ride.
The government. as represented by
the board appointed for the purpose
of reconciling the differences between
wages and demands, declines to treat
with railway employees who are out
on strike. The stop-watch has lost
its potency, but it was powerful
weapon.
The humiliation of the rattlesnake
may be said to be complete. Sta It's
tics show that of approximately, 400,-
900 deaths in this country every year.
an average of not more than one can
properly be attributed to snakebite.
Clearly, another synonym for certain
death must be found.
There are other signs and portents.
but the unveiled suspender is the real
symbol of democracy.
and practically the last of the buck
privates have discarded their uni
forms, we should like to know
whether they kept the solemn prom
ises made to themselves, to whip
their second lieutenants.
A rich and childless uncle proba-
bly, is the favorite fiction, altho many
prefer to invent distinguished ances-
tors.
Taking 1t by and large. we should
say the most difficult and tiresome
feat a man is called upon to perform
is that of standing still while his wife
picks the rawlings off his clothes.
A man is disposed to close and lock
it, but a woman leaves the door of the
closet containing her private skeleton
wide open.
Old Bert Taylor suggests that we
also give a fancy-dress party or
pageant to reduce the cost of living.
Old Bert needn't worry; we will be-