The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1920-09-21
The Greater
Coney


nAhan. I'm be after going down to
see the new coney Island that's
risen like a phoenix bird from the
lshes OF the old resort I'm going
fith Nornh Flynn. and wen fall
)ictims to all the dry goods decsp
lions. from the redflannel eruption
ef Mount vesuvius to the pink silk
ribbons on the race-suicsde problems
IN the incubator kiosk.
'swas there before, was. I
was there last Tuesday. Did l see
The sightsg l did not.
Last Monday I amaigamated my
self with the Bricklayers' union. and
IN accordasUe with the rules was
ordered to quit work the same day
on account OF sympathy strike
with the Lady Salmon Gamers
lodge No. :. Of Tacoma. Wash.
TWAS disturbed l was In mind
and procIivities ny iosfnx me. lob. be-
In already harasscd In me soul on
account Of havius QuMsTS1eN-Vrth
North Flynn a week before by rea-
son of hard words spoken at the
pairymen and Street Sprinkler
Drivers semiannuai ball. caused by
jealousy and prsckiy heat and that
divil- Andy Coghiin-
so. I says. IL viii be Concy for
Tuesday: and IL the chutes and the
short change and the green-corn silk
between the teeth don't create diver
sions and get me feeling better. then
! don't know Mt all
~Ye will have heard that Coney
has received moral reconstructson.
The old Bowery. where they used to
take your tintype by force and give
70 Knockout drops before having
your palm read. Is now called the
Wall st. OF the island The wiener.
wurst stands are required by law 10
keep q news ticker In EN-: and the
doughnuts are examined every four
years by retired steamboat inspsc-
tor. The Niger mans head that was
used by the old patrons to throw
bnseballs at Ia now Illegal; and. by
order Of the police commissioner the
image OF a man drivin' an automo.
bile has been substituted. ! hear
that the old immoral amusements
have been suppressed People who
used to go down from New York TO
lit IN the sand and dabble In the
surf now give up their quarters to
squeeze thru turnstiles and see irni-
tafions OF city fires and floods
painted on canvas. The reprehen-
sibie and degradin' resorts that dis
graced old Coney are said TO be
wiped out The wipin'-out process
consists Of raisin' the price from 10
cents to rs cents. and hirin' blonde
named Maudie TO sell tickets instead
Of Micky, the Bowery Bite. That's
what they say don't know.
sDut to Coney goes a-Tuesday.
I gBts off the Il and starts for the
a1tterin' show. Twas a fine sight.
The Babylonian towers and the Hin.
doc roof gardens was biazin' With
thousands Of electric lights. and the
streets was thick with people. 'Tis
q true thing they say that Conex
!. levels all rank. I see millionaIres
latin popcorn and trampin' along
with the crowd: and see eightdol-
1ar-a-aweek clothin' store clerks In
red automobiles fightin' one another
for who'd squeeze the horn when
they come to corner.
:" ! made a mistake says TO my.
self. Twas not Coney needed.
-.When a mans sad tbs not scenes Of
hilarity he wants. 'Twould be far
better for him to mediate in a
graveyard or TO attend services at
the Paradise Roof Gardens. 'ris no
consolation when a mans lost his
sweetheart to order hot corn and
have the walter bring him the
powdered sugar cruet instead OF salt
and then conceal himself. or TO have
Zozookum. the gypsy palmist. tell
him that he has three children and
10 look out for another serious ca
lamity; price rs cents.
II walked far away down on the
beach, to the ruins OF an old pavilion
near one corner OF this new private
mark Dreamland. A year ago that
old pavilion was standin' up straight
and the old-style walters was slam.
min n weeks supply OF clam
ehowder down In front Of you for a
uickIe and calm you Gully friendly.
and vice was rampant. and you got
hack to New York with enough
change TO take n car at the bridge
Now they tell me that they serve
welsh rabbits on Surf ave, and you
get the right change back in the
movin' picture joints.
II sat down at one side OF the old
pavilion and looked at the surf
spresdin' itself on the beach. and
thought about the time me and
fT,srss IN Ra0e 4 fsoIsso.u a