davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening journal., 1920-10-15

how the parlOr looks. WITHOUT " Niiie
dodging in every two minutes says
he
Better not says she. cause VIII
les very cross
something OF a contradiction, oh p
says he.
A what9r says she
"Contradiction." says he, -dmpa-
tient patient
SAY" says she. II noSH a good
one, too. What is the most difhcult
lock TO pick2'
zone from a bald mans heaf" says
~whai country does baby cry
for ?" says she.
"Casioria," says he.
mo" says she, "Lapland.'
That ought to be looked dnt0''
saws he.
~Nhat2" says she.
"Oh, any mirror" says ne.
SAY" SAYS she. whats the differ
ence between one yard and two
yards ~
"Three feet" says he.
NO" SAYS she, "the difference
between one yard and two yards is a
fencei'
Evening journal., 1920-10-15

she.
AN umbrella viii shut up" says
he.
MY, you're smart" says shee.
Il am, very" says he. I'm ono OF
the fsw people who know the proper
length OF women's szirts."
Its a pleasure" says she, Ito con
verse with a person who knows so
much. | can hardly wait 70 ind out
how long skirts should be-"
They should" says he, be little
above two feet"
Two feet2" says she.
sure says he. two feet. and
those few who have but one foot
should wear skirts little above that
foot, and"
"Goodnightr' r. says she.
Goodnight" says he "See you
tomorrow"
Evening journal., 1920-10-15
Nervous, Weak, Pale Thin
and Had No Ap-
petite
TOOK HYPO-COD;
is WELL AGAIN

"Just after baby was born, caught
the Flu and honestly when ! did
finally pull through | was a wreck.
j fingered for months and months in
a weak rundown state. My nerves
were so bad I'd go to bed and toss
for hours and never did get really
rested. My stomach and digestion
seemed all upset and ] couldn't cat.
IL seemed like | had lost my taste.
Nothing tasted good and there / was.
was so broken in spirit and body
that couldn't do the necessary things
around the house, much less give 10
my darling baby the attention It de-
served. could not get anyone TO
come TO the house and do. my work
and | was in bad fix let me tell
you.
Evening journal., 1920-10-15

Seems Magici Drop little Freezone
on an aching corn, instantly that
corn stops hurting, then shortly you
lift IL right or with flngers-Truly
Your druggist sells a tiny bottle OF
Freezone for a few cents, sufficient
Evening journal., 1920-10-15
zxc,G Ia S<lzGe>

That proves 10
me that a woman
is like the tele-
graph" says he.
How sat2" says
she.
shes always In
advance Of the mail
Intelligence" say S
he.
"Of course. but it
took the male intel
lligence a long time
to learn IT," says
] ishc.
Evening journal., 1920-10-15

~Yes," says he. hut long. long ago
male intelligence learned the differ
ence between a woman and an UNI
brella"
And what is the difference2" says
Evening journal., 1920-10-15

i Ou N1dIl L 'Oiilt
over this evening"
says she.
"Why2" says he.
Cause Willie's
got the measles, !"
says she.
And sdoes I h c
measles keep him
out OF the parlorl"
Says he.
"IU say they do
says she.
"Then I'm coming,
for ] do want 10 see
Evening journal., 1920-10-15

The Wants are an inexpensive way
OF seeking boarders. The Wants are
read by thousands who are quick TO
take advantage or the opportunities
that they affer-Adv.
Evening journal., 1920-10-15

TO rid your feet Of every hard corn,
soft corn. OF corn between the toes,
and painful foot calluses, without the
least soreness or irritation. No hum
bugi
Evening journal., 1920-10-15

Wood workers, decorators and
painters will find good positions
through the Want Ads the coming
gear.
Evening journal., 1920-10-15
90. B. JOYFUL LISTENING N)

"Hello!r says she.
"Hello yourself.N SAYS ne.
Evening star., 1920-03-21

dramatically out Of place that pass
ing woman had to pause-you know
how curious some folks are-to see
what attraction lady vamp could
have for poor old soul whose one
foot, according to her Scripture, must
already be in it's grave with the
other coming on quick.
"She's the exact image of me, Susie.
when I was her age, and used to have
flowing curls like that! Only my
arms were prettier; not so large
and the same sweet expression. Girls
were as innocent as flowers In those
days. wish you could have seen
me then. don't suppose they would
sell 1t to me-paintings like that
must cost a lot of money Isn't she
sweet?"
There must be dull things that crawl
as we'll as gay things that wing the
sky: 1t Is the law Of nature. but:
How could we bear it-if 1t were
not for our dreams?
YOU know how it is. You learn q
thing and forget 1t. Then some
body comes along and tells 1t over
and it sounds as fresh as new. Nat
urally, we have read every last thing
about the Jackson statue. but when
a dear old gentleman told about the
day Of its unveiling. way back In
1S53-the crowds. the music. the
cheering; the address Of Stephen A.
Douglas and the proclaiming Of
Clark Mills as the foremost sculptor
Of the day-why-
"The hobby horse OF Lafayette
Square" became, somehow. lost
in the smoke of battle-you whitfield
the burning Of cotton bales and heard
the boom Of the cannon of which the
statue is made-which shows what
imagination will do. And when he
was through with his little remi-
niscence, the woman with him gave
a small one of hers:
II never pass here that I do not
think OF long ago Easter Sunday,
when an ancient colored man stood,
looking in awesome respect at the
statue while his student-looking
grandson told of Jackson and the
glory Of his deeds as q soldier and
his fame as a President of'the United
States-2untl- a
whats that7 HI, boy. is that all
the good you-alls schoolln' Is done
Evening star., 1920-03-21
Duck Creek Politics.

CAMUEL G.. BLYTHE said at a ban
~ quet in New York:
"Our politics are too selfish and too
paltry. They are still too much the
politics Of Duck creek
"Once upon a time. you know, q
representative who had promised to
vote for six new battleships went
back on his promise. Questioned about
this. he said: NH
"'Gents. owe my election to Jedge
Brown Of Duck creek. Jedge Browns
money put me here, and 1t was on
the jedge's advice that guv that bat
tleship pledge
"'Well, then, why didn't you keep
it?' another representative asked.
ION account Of the jedge again
said the pledge breaker. When l guy
that pledge the jedge had property
on Duck creek and needed protec-
tion of a powerful Navy. Wall, gents.
read this here letter what I recently
received from the old boy
The letter. thrown upon the table,
said:
"'Friend Bill-As I have moved my
hen-roost half mile back from Duck
q powerful Navy. Vote agin It,"
Evening star., 1920-03-21
.d;?|!hOZ Il

They obeyed at once. and next
served fine large turbot on a silver
platter. with drawn gravy poured
over 1t.
"Fish" cried Jim, with q sniff.
do you take me for a tomcat? Away
with it"
The servants were little discour-
aged, but soon they brought in a
great tray containing two dozen
nicely roasted quail on toast.
X X X X
"Welll Well! said the horse, now
thoroughly provoked. "Do you take
me for a weasel? How stupid and
ignorant you are, in the Land of or.
and what dreadful things you feed
upon! Is there nothing that is de-
cent to eat in this palace?"
The trembling servants sent for the
Royal Steward, who came In haste
and said:
What would your Highness like
for dinner"
"Highness!" repeated Jim, who was
unused to such titles.
"You are at least six feet high and
that is higher than any other animal
In this country" said the Steward.
We'll. my Highness would like
some oats" declared the horse.
"Oats? We have no whole oats"
the Steward replied, with much def
erence. But there Is any quantity
of oatmeal, which we often cook for
breakfast Oatmeal is breakfast
dish" added the Steward humbly.
"I'll make it dinner dish" said
Jim. "Fetch, 1t on. but don't cook
1t as you value your life"
You see, the respect shown the
worn-out old cab-horse made him
little arrogant, and he forgot he was
a guest, never having been treated
otherwise than as servant since the
day he was born, until his arrival
in the Land Of or. But the royal at
tendants did not heed the animals
i'll temper. They soon mixed a tub
of oatmeal with little water, and
Jim ate it with much relish.
Then the servants heaped lot OF
rugs upon the floor and the old horse
slept on the softest bed he had ever
known In his life.
X
In the morning, as soon as 1t was
daylight, he resolved to take walk
and try to find some grass for break
fast; so he ambled calmly through
the handsome arch of the doorway.
turned the corner of the palace,
wherein all seemed asleep, and came
Evening star., 1920-03-21


- they were poor. But:
Once they were seated to-
gether in a cross-seat car the man
took. two caramels from his pocket,
passed one to his obvious wife and
helped himself to the other. She threw
the wax paper out of the open WIN
dow, got busy with her candy and for
the next six blocks they talked like
good old chums. and chewed and
chewed and chewed.
To throw paper on the street shows
poor citizenship. To chew things in
public Is too awful to talk about, and
yet you can't always go by appear
ances.
A woman in the seat behind, for in
stance, who wouldn't be caught dead
doing either of those unpleasant
things. felt a sort of homesick stab
bing at her heart, for the sharing Of
the candies meant comradeship and a
whole lot of other things that stand
for loyalty and love.
And no matter how perfect citi-
zen you may be or how entirely gen.
teel In your dealings with candy. IL
you live in a solitary place called
Lonesome Land - never mind about
the map-you somehow feel that com
radeship Is the splendidest thing in
the world. Ask any woman who lives
there.
Or any man.
X X
CHE was a survival Of the day when
~ widows wore weeds. Her bomba-
zine-six-gored and touching the
bricks all around-shared honors
with a somber dolman Of the style
Of year /, and her crepe bonnet topped a
face that looked AS IL Time had gathered
it and pulled the drawing string the
wrong way.
Another woman who had the ap-
pearance Of not being widow for
the reason that she had never been
given the chance stood beside her,
and the two were considering a lurid
poster in front Of q movie house the
other evening just as electric lights
were beginning to star the dusk
With this difference:
The painfully single woman's ex-
preston was that of a good -natured
tolerance submitting to a statement
which fails to carry conviction, while
Bombazines rapture Of gaze was so
Evening star., 1920-03-21

race TO race Win tne odWhorSo.
Jim stopped abruptly. being startled
and amazed. The Sawhorse stopped
at the same time and stared at the
other with It's queer protruding eyes,
which were mere knots in the log
that formed it's body. The legs of
the Sawhorse were four sticks driven
into holes bored an the log; its tail
was a small branch that had been
left by accident and its mouth a place
chopped in one end of the body.
which projected little and served
as a head. The ends Of the wooden
legs were shod with plates Of solid
gold. and the saddle of the Princess
Ozma, which was OF red leather set
with sparkling diamonds. was strap.
ped to the clumsy body.
Jim's eyes stuck out as much as
those of the Sawhorse. and he stared
at the creature with his ears erect
and his long head drawn back until
it rested against his arched neck.
In this comical position the two
horses circled slowly around each
other for while. each being unable
to realize what singular thing might
be which 1t now beheld for the first
time. Then Jim exclaimed:
For goodness sake, what sort of a
being are your"
I'm a Sawhorse." replied the other.
oh. believe I've heard Of YOU"
said the cab horse; but you are unlike
anything I expected to see."
II do not doubt it."~the Sawhorse
observed, with a tone Of pride. Il am
considered quite unusual"
You are, indeed. But a rickety
wooden thing like you has no right
to be alive"
II couldn't help it," returned the
other rather crestfallen, "Ozma
sprinkled me with magic powder.
and I just had to live. I know TIM
not much account: but I'm the only
horse in all the Land of or. so they
treat me with great respect"
"You. horse!"
"Oh, not a real one of course. There
are no real horses here at all. But
I'm a splendid imitation of one"
Jim gave an indignant neigh.
Look at me-" he cried. Behold a
real horse" '
The wooden animal gave a start.
and then examined the other intently.
us 1t possible that you are Real
Horse?" he murmured
Not only possible, but true. replied
Jim, who was gratifed by the i'm
preston he had created. 1T Is
proved by my fine points. For ex-
ample, look at the long hairs on my
tail. with which I can whisk the
flies"
1.-The flies never trouble me-" said
the Saw Horse.
X X X X
"And notice my great strong teeth
with which I nibble the grass"
ut is not necessary for me to eat"
observed the Saw-Horse.
ALSO examine. my broad chest,
which enables me to draw deep, full
breaths" said Jim, proudly.
II have no need to breathe" return
ed the other.
No; you miss many pleasures" re-
marked the cab horse, pityingly
you do not know the relief Of
brushing away a fly that has bitten
you, nor the delight of eating deli
cious food, nor the satisfaction of
drawing long breath Of fresh pure
air. You may be an imitation of a
horse, but you're mighty poor
one"
"Oh, ! cannot hope ever to be like
you," sighed the Saw Horse. But 1
am glad to meet at least a Real
Horse. You are certainly the most
beautiful creature I ever beheld."
This praise won Jim completely. To
be called beautiful was a novelty in
his experience.
Copyright. 1920. by l.. Frank Baum for tho
George Matthew Adams Serylee)
0unk crnnk pnlitinc
Evening star., 1920-03-21
Inqratitude.

A SENATOR at a banquet was talk
ing about ingratitude--a failing
Of which politics affords many fla
grant examples.
THAT piece Of ingratitude was the
worstl" ne said. 1T reminds mo Of
a happening at Coney Island.
"A man and woman were walking
on the Coney Island boardwalk in
animated conversation. But this con-
versation grew more and more ami
mated. 1t rose to shouts on the mans
part and shrleks on the woman's.
Then the man UP with his fist and
knocked the woman down.
"She took the blow calmly enough.
but as she rose she was heard to
say In rather bitter accents: -
"Ah, Joe II I'd knowed this was
a-comin' I'd never have hooked me
white-topped shoes to give ye a holi-
day down to the Shore"
Evening star., 1920-03-21
4 x Around the City x Il

you to mix that man up like of that?
You don't mean no Andrew Jackson
You means Andrew Jawnson. Warn't
livin' in this Washin'ton the time he
was in that White House over yam
der?"
And If you passed the Jackson sta
tue this morning you doubtless no.
ticed sparrows futtering around him,
hunting up place to build nests
They do 1t every spring.
A FRIEND Of the column gives this
incident to help out:
A woman we'll acquainted in busi-
ness circles went into prominent es-
tablishment the other day and asked
OF clerk near the door where she
could find the Office. as she wanted to
look up an address.
Not seeing sale in sight, he told
her curtly that directories were not
kept for tho benefit Of the public. but
that one could be found three blocks
above at q drug store.
The woman ignored his suggestion
by walking in and hunting up the
manager. who not only gave her the
directory, but escorted her to the
door.
She had not mentioned the curt
treatment she had received. but could
not allow the opportunity to go by
without giving the clerk a lesson
by look that must have made him
feel uncomfortable for a time
MAMIE LANCASTER.
Evening star., 1920-03-21

10th were plain and not over
young. and anybody could tell
they were poor But:
Onca they were seated To-
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1920-05-29
.IilmF1aJhec

VIII Rogers has found another
pupil 10 instruct In the art OF roping
goats-Jaek Pickford.
Swimming and salad are the two
great aids to the woman who de
sircz TO retain slender figure. ae-
cording to Helene Chadwick. who h
leading woman for WIN Rodgers. In
hts new picture. Cupid. the Cow
puncher."
Charles Ray, soon 20 be r~-n IN
tho ssrr~n version Of Forty Five
Minutes From Broadway" has pur-
chased all but two OF the Charles
II. Hoyt farcez that were all The
rage 20 years ago In America and
England.
For the nrst time In her career
Anita Stewart appears "a a ranp
In her latest picture. The Yellow
Typhoon." By Harold MacCrath.
Mildred Harris Chaplin. who re
Gently suffered scaaiekness while
getting marine "sho,S'' for her latest
picture. believes with many others
that Pacific" 10 a misnomcr for
tho western sea
-rhe Island of Love- An an
vl,axrnph production. Is rapidly
nearing couipleuon. The cast In
Guides Wallace Mcdonald. HaIiam
Cooley. Marguerite Do IA Motto and
others.
Tom Mix IL more than an actor.
He Is some" boxer. Recently NJ
Sonora. California. where he In max.
ing The Untamed- under the fir~c
ton Of Emmett J. Flynn. this pop
ular western screen star knocked
out the heavyweight champion OF
Sonora In the fourth round.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1920-05-29
TALES OF MANSFIELD
TEMPER" IMAGINARY

Only temperament not temper Is
the correct term for Richard Mans
fields repotcd irasoibli,y. Such Is
tho conviction Of Catherine Wallace
who made her frst appearance In
Peer 0ynt" with TIM noted actor.
but who Ia now at the Culver City
studio playing In Cupid. tho Cow
punehsr.~ vim VIII Rogrrn
Mi- wailac. thinks Mansfleid q
most Iovable character. n bit eoo~n.
trio perhaps. but always confederate.
always a gentleman. MS company
In Peer Cynt." In which Miss Wal
lace played a whole season. was
very much devoted 10 him.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1920-05-29
SECOND KENNEDY FILM
SHOWS 1915 CABARET

The second Madge Kennedy pic
ture. The Girl With the Jam
Heart under the direction Of l.. c.
Window has n cabaret scene OF the
old days neccssitating the construc-
ton Of one OF the largest sets ever
used In Goiswyn production. This
particular cabaret In a pre- prohihi-
ton revival that will gladden. your
eyes.
The principal player in Miss Ken
nsdy's support In Joe King. who was
unusually successful In The North
Winds Malice" a Rex Beach pic
ture recently released
THE Girl with the Jazz Heart In
adapted from a story by Robert
shannon in the Ail-Story Weekly.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1920-05-29
uon OF a wealthy New

band the son Of a wealthy New
York hotel owner.
When Matt was asked why he
never intemied to marry he ssid.
Wen. Owen was married once. but
he's thru now. Joe had wife.
but he's not living with her any
moro Tom had a wife once upon n
time. too. but she's got another nus
band now Their wives wer. All
motion picture actresses. In the
light OF these facts. ] am content TO
remain a bachelor for the time DC
Ing anyhow"
II ~ IA rather singular coincidence
that MARJORIE D~w. who played op-
pc.lto Matt Moore In Don't Ever
Mary" acted a. bridesmaid for
Mary Pfcsford recently when she
married Douglas Fairbanks.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1920-05-29
PEARL WHITE H0N0RE0
By FRENCH ADMIRAL

During her stay in Paris OF more
than three weeks on a weli-carned
vacation following completion Of
her first two For productions. The
White Moii" and Tigers Club
pcar White was feted by many
French notAbics. including Admiral
Touget OF the French navy.
Miss White was the guest of Ad.
rnirAi Tpuact aboard the French bat.
tiesh.p Repunuquc. Needless to say
she made n pronounced hit with the
sailors and officers on the vessel
While In France Miss White Wis
tied the war-devastated districts. in.
Guiding Rilie-sur. Fer-. near Chateau
Thierry. where many Americans who
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1920-05-29
Uncle Says P. As
Are Luxuries

lie a moving picture stars press
agent necessity
Or. as tho federal income tar cob
lectccs contend. 10 h. q iururyr
Thr stars Of movieland contend
tina, the typewriter wizard . busi-
ness necessity and that their popu-
larity Is largely due 10 his daily
efforts. hidden behind the scenes
grinding out his daily quota OF
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1920-05-29
OVERALLS WON'T DO
SAYS PRISCILLA DEAN

Priscilla Dean. the Universal star.
does no; think the overall craze will
asst She thinks there are other ways
OF defeating the II. G. Of l.. than by
women donning these unsightiy gar
ments--rnak. their own simple
dresses out OF bingham. for instance.
or refusing TO buy new clothes every
time the designer secs tit To announce
change OF style Discussing tho
matter the other day, she emphaticai.
ly remarked that she would never
promenade the'street attircd In over.
alls. Personally she said. II
would just as soon see woman
walk down the street in a bathing
suit as In a pair OF overaIls."
I'D sooner" piped up Hoot Gibson.
who overheard the remark.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1920-05-29
WHAT'S IN A PH0T07

Frank Mayo recently went TO call
on n we'll known English actor who
came TO California to direct the Pic
lures. Mayo knew the actor in Eng
land some years ago and did not an
tlcipate any difficulty In seeing him
and renewing an old acquaintance.
However. he was permitted TO cool
his heels In the outer office for some
is minutes. and just as he was get
ting up to leave. the director opened
tho door.
Very sorry 90 keep you waiting.
Mr.. Mayo" the other said. but
have nothing open at present VIII
you leave me a photograph
why the photograph" retorted
Mayo an he started for the door. Are
you falling In love with me. tool"
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1920-05-29
MOORE WON'T WE'D
A PHOTOPLAY ACTRESS

Matt Moore. who plays the leading
role In Marshall Neiians new First
National picture. called Don't Ever
Marry" says he never expects to
g~t married. at least not TO q mo
ton picture star
Matt In 10 years old and is the
only one OF tho four Moore broth.
erx OF motion picture fsIne who -
not in the boneibct ch~. Owen
aoor~ was r~osuty divorced from
Mary Piokford. who n short tfsrr
after married Douglas Fairbanks.
Joe has been separated from his
wife. orsce cuuud. the serial star.
since his rrturn from wr. Tn Law
has also parted Tom from bis bean.
,nul Young wife. Alec Joyce. who
a short tins ago took a second hns-
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1920-05-29
n. c. OF l. GETS BLOW;
TEN-CENT MOVIE HERE

Starting today. Eugene Levy is
opening the Oak theatre on Madison
near second ave. az a motion picture
house. with an admission OF 10 cents
including the war tax Naximova-
starring in Revelation" her greatest
screen triumph. will Be the first OF.
fering.
Mr. Levy In cutting the price of
second-run motion picture houses OF
this city IN half. and at the sam,
timo his policy will be to show the
best photopiays available. lie spent
81 900 last month In redccorating and
painting the Oak thcatre.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1920-05-29
ALL DEPENDS ON THE
"HANG" OF HIS HAIR

Few can achieve the transforma-
ton from bloodthirsty villain to "A
80 effectively as Lionel barrymore
With the aid OF this magic wand.
Mr.. Belmorc emerged from the roll
of villain In "Jes' Call Me Jim" as
meek old gentleman In THE Man
Who Had Everything"
MIR. Barrymore has wonderfully
thick hair. really bit bushy. and he
says the disappearance OF hair
brushes would force him into the roll
of Fiji Islander.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1920-05-29
MARY MILES MlNTER
WINS LEGAL BATTLE

Los ANGELES. May Binary
Miles Mintcr won the frs, round In
her legal battle with tn. American
Film company in Federal Judge Trip
pets court yesterday.
At the conclusion Of tho defend
ants evidence on It's eountcrclaim
for 500 900 damages alleged to be
due by reason Of Miss Minter's TEN
peramental" conduct while acting
for the film company. a non-suit was
ordered entered to the claim for darn
ages.
The only question ieft IN the case
now Il the claim of the film star that
The company owes her $3.50 for two
weeks salary.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1920-05-29
OUR SURGEON ACTOR,
Is HE REAL OR SHAM?

so that Charlie clary may appear
realistic as a hospital surgeon In
so effectively as Lionel Belmore-
now being screened. he II being given
professional training under DIR. John
Garthwaite. a Colorado surgeon. Di
rector Wallace Worseiy Is confident
that now even the critics will find
no fault in the hospital scenes.