South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1920-05-30
Winifred Black Tells of
the Difference Between
Love and InfatuatiOn

am in love. and desperately. with
girl "a years Of age. I am her
seniOr by Il months She has en-
oouraged me, and when the time
Is right I expect 20 declare myself
She has been going out q great
deal with a man 30 years OF age. He
- married because his marriage was
compulsory. Needless 20 say. he
does not live with his wife. Now.
have been brought up IN an old
fashioned way by an old-fashioned
mother, for which thank the good
Lord. and consider Il neither prop
CT nor discreet for a girl 20 go out
with a married man, whether he
lives with his wife or not What IS
more I do not think any girl should
allow herself To go out with a man
who Is morally so degraded that he
wss forced 20 marry a woman.
I nave spoken 20 my fancce about
II, and she just laughs and says she
IL sorry for him. I tell her she
ought 10 have more self-respect
than 70 lower herself by being seen
with this man. However, my words
are OF no avail, and have rather
felt lately hat IL a girl cares that
little for her good name, 10 Is time
for US 20 each 20 our own way. but
try as I will I cannot forget her.
I am respected by all OF my asso-
ciates. and although / think a good
naunG ~ an asset I would sacrifice
my oil for her. but yet do not want
TO make this sacrifice needlessly,
when q little discretion would obli-
viate the necessity Of f.
Sincerely yours.
DOUGHBOY.
Not Real love.
So you are desperately IN love
with a girl who goes out with a man
who tells her cruel stories about his
own wlfe-and you don't know what
10 do about 1T
Well. 1 don't see how you can
hesitate a minute.
Yes, 1 DO. too. I see Just exactly
how you can hesitate for a long time.
Love is a strange thing. II IS a
blindness. II Is a madness, II is a
deIirium. II Is a wild folly-love like
yours. for an unworthy girl, I mean
and you can't get over 1t, all in a
minute.
You're not really in 1--we with her,
you know-not really You're just
infatuated and infatura ton lasts
Just about as long as the flame OF
lighted match lasts In the hand of
a careless smoker.
You are a man OF deep feeling.
real sentiment and real character,
and you cannot stay in love with
woman unless you respect her. You
may think you can-but you can't
human experience has taught that
lesson over and over again.
Men have loved unworthfly thou
sands and thousands of times. and
so have women.
lasts How can II, when IT'S built
upon such an insecure foundation2
A Temporary Thing
Marriage IL not all music and
roses and moonlight and thrills
there's common sense IN marriage,
too, and self-sacrifice. Not sacrifice
tn the center OF the stage, with all
the spotlight turned upon you. and
all the people in the theater whis-
perfng TO each other how noble you
are. but Just little petty. everyday
sacrifices-like wearing a shabby
hat when you'd like new one, and
buying a % cent luncheon when you
feel like a dollar bit OF steak, and
salad and cup OF real coffee-these
things don't come easily from the
victim OF an infatuation-
I have known good women 20
marry good men because they were
infatuated with them. and some
times the women got over their In
fatuation. and learned really TO love
the husband, and sometimes, they
shuddered even 10 think OF II, when
the temporary veil OF infatuation
dropped and fell.
You're In love with this girl be-
cause the time has come for you TO
be In love with some one, and she
happened to be around, that's all.
and there was something about her,
some trick OF the eyes, some dimple.
some little lure OF the flesh, that
turned the while world upside down
for you.
Cheer up. it's ike the flu-it
won't last FOR ever.
Go away. meet other women. stop
thinking about this girl. Put her
out OF your life. She isn't worth
your time or she time OF any honest
man. Ten chances TO one, she is in
love with the other man. anyway.
and you will wake up with a shock
when you discover that. ANY wo-
man who Is worth loving will not
want you to sacrifice your ALL for
her. She wouldn't think Of allow
ing such a thing. Your feeling about
her Is right She isn't the kind OF
girl you can take home and intro
duce TO your mother, or the kind OF