The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-07-07

his mobile countenanca and In my mind's eye heard him mutter to him. self that while it was fitti-~ that Ohio should be the mother of presidents. still there was much so he said In fa- vor of birth control and that, In theso matters, little Rational restraint might be an admirable attribute. And wondered whether their candidate wouldn't be Just trifle cross at tfs breakfast table, complainir1, may be, at the way the eggs were scrambled and finding fault with the weather?
 Far away. across continent In crowd ed New York. saw l-r. Bernard Baruch exhibiting signs Of pettishness, not to say outright chagrin, as the results of the fourtv-fourth ballot came clicking to him over his private beside ticker and I watched him as he registered the conviction that a son in-law may some etim-5 be as disap pointing to his financial sponsors as he is. in a domestic way of speaking. to his relatives by marriage.
 l felt that. astrally. I had been 8 witness to significant scene in the boudoir life of a contemporaneous figure. for I had seen the sudden but definite retirement Of MT Baruch from the role of a Warwick or king maker-had observed the processes of his thought as he arrived at an un- alterable decision to retire back to Wall street. where. if man goes into the market to buy a thing. he stands some chance of having if delivered.
 I saw the folks down in Oklahoma receiving a day letter collect, from Senator Robert l.. Owen. telling them to have his bedroom slippers and some headache tablets waiting for him upon his arrival. for I know that Senator Owen. as the only candidate for ths presidency who ever made a mouth-tor mouth campaign upon the floor of a national convention would reach home terribly tired at both ends
 After watching the senator at work among the delegates l was moved to wonder why he should have wasted his energies in pursuit of public office when he had natural gifts which wouh qualify him to make magnificent success taking orders for enlarging crayon portraits. The mans born canvasser-if only he had something ra sell.
 I saw Vice President Marshall all choked up with pure unselfish dis tress for the disappointment which would fill the great tnropping heart of Indiana over the thought that tha lightning had missed striking where it should have struck and I pictured his subsequent astonishment upon dis covering that lndlanA was bearing un so well under the blow.
 HOW BRYAN FELT
 I saw MT. Bryan trvir~ to decide in view of the fact that Nominee Cox was once suspected of eating a spiked mince pie. whether or not he should bolt the nomination and abandon the party to it's fate. In the goodness of my heart I even mapped out tenta tive ticket for the third party, to-wit:
 For President-William Jennings Bryan of Nebraska
 For Vice President-Irover Cleve- land Bergdoll of Pennsvlvania
 Motto-We both were against war with Germany.
 Second Motto--We Lave run well anl often.
 As we tack a tail to our ticket with a good deal less of sril and travaii then we expended in putting a head on cores pendent departs for the east, he Is moved in parting 70 volunteer two small thoughts.
 Firstly. he fain would repeat, with added. emphasis and sincerity what he said the other day. namely. that in hos, pitality San Francisco is the queen Of the hemisphere and that in beautiful women she is the Paducah (Kentucky) of the west.
 Secondly. as democrat here re- spectfully I would ask leave to tender to MT CoX's campaign managers d suitable slogan as follows:
 'He kept us out of McAdoo."