The Washington times., 1920-11-19
Today
Rattler, Scorpion, Basllisk.
An American, Tested.
They Need an Old Lady.
Improve Europe's Recovery.
ARTHUR BRISBAl
(Copyright. ls20D.

"hSh q ehihB 10 nboSSS AA@A
complete, you have to admire, al
though you may not approve. The
rattlesnake needs TO bite only once.
The scorpion allows her young to
feed on her living body. The tar
antula stings the big humble bee
right back of the brain, paralyzing
that large bee forever. The basil
lisk could kill you with a look.
They are all wonderfully thorough.
But basilisk, tarantula, scorpion
and rattlesnake would all take off
their hats, II they wore hats, to
the grating profiteers that stung
Uncle Sam in the war.
For instance: An iron hinge
was lacking on a door leading. to
the cooking department of q ship
at Norfolk. The hinge was bought
for eighty-three cents.
A blacksmith screwed it in place.
An assistant blacksmith helped
him. A master mechanic super
vised the job. The Shipping Board
received and paid bill for "mate-
rails and labor" Of $161. William
r. Morton, Investigator, testifies
to this. Take off your hat to this
war profteer; he is the champion
stinger.
w. d. Howells, who worked. hard
and we'll through all his eighty
years, left less than two hundred
thousand dollars. half OF 1t in real
estate. His securities included
twenty-five thousand in Liberty
bonds, which his children now get
with a large slice shaved off. How
many of profiteers and others that
made their millions, do you sup
pose, will show that percentage Of
Liberty bonds in their assets?
Howells was good American.
The surrogate court proves it.
The Greeks want an old lady,
the Queen mother, Olga, to act as
regent. And New Zealand, a coun-
try not rich, has gladly appropri-
ated a half million dollars to pay
the cost of a visit from the little
Prince of Wales.
In these two news items we
learn that 1t is not easy to give
up the habit of royalty and that
human beings do not govern them
selves, because they are far from
being fit to govern themselves.
If the Greeks want an old lady
to rule them, then they ought to
be ruled by an old lady. And il
the sturdy Britishers of far-off
New Zealand think 1t worth q half
million dollars to gaze on the
face Of little boy that never did
anything, then they have just the
kind of government that they
ought to have. Every country has
the kind of government it deserves,
except. perhaps, the United States
and Ireland.
Chicago is excited about the
price of chop suey. The Chinese
must tell why they charge $1.25
for chicken chop suey, "fine white
mushrooms and rice included"
The chop suey man might answer:
"Why don't you question my white
brother on the Lake Front that
takes coffee worth less than
tenth of a cent, adds hot water,
names it 'demi tasse,' and charges
rs cents? I don't make that
profit"
To help American business, I'M
PROVE FOREIGN EXCHANGE,
restore to the franc, the mark, all
the moneys of Europe that have
real work and ability back Of them,
a substantial part of their for
mer buying power. You make no
money if you don't sell goods, and
you can't sell to bankrupt GUS
toners whose money is worth 5 to
10 cents on the dollar.
You read that American steel
mills are shutting down. Men out
Of work, of course. South Amer
lea and other countries are buying
steel from Germany, paying for it
with marks that cost cent and a
half each. Where money is cheap,
people buy.
Vast quantities of low grade
cotton are stored here, as Mr.. Lay,
formerly Of the United States
State Department and American
consul general at Berlin, points
out. America and Western
Europe do not use such cotton.
Germany and the rest of central
Europe would gladly buy and use
it all, if their money had buying
power.
Mr.. Lay reports that 20 per cent
of the cotton-using plants Of Ger
many are closed for lack of ma
terial. II the mark had buying
power, American cotton planters
would be out Of trouble, and II the
franc and Italian and other Euro
pean money were near normal, all
our products which cheap moneyed
nations now cannot buy would sell
at good prices. Our exports are
diving bpCause exchanoa ratao