The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1920-09-29
ADVICE TO THE
LOVELORN

A man who signs himself IAN Old
reader of Your Column, A. Vs." has
sent me very Interesting comment
on one of my little discussions. 1 quote
nir here word Tor word.
have just been reading your article
regarding Jealousy being selflshness.
Anq am Inclined to disagree with
you. In the first place you say that
jealousy proves se1f-love. claim
there isn't a man or woman today who
coesnt have trace of jealousy with
In ther1.. II they don't, then they're
not hunfans Il have a little bit of jeal=
ousy within me and 1 challenge any
one to say that T. selfish in any way.
Picture man in love with a girl,
going about with her for three or four
years. He calls at her home unex-
pectedly and finds her in the arms of
another man. His blood for the mo-
ment will boil. If It doesn't, L say he
( isn't red-blooded. For the minute he
becomes jealous of her because If he
didn't it-would only show that he is
cold-blooded. and doesn't know how to
I love her at all. -'s-''
"If he is a man and she is a lady
nothing rash or rude will be done.
J Explanations are likely to clear UP the
I -whole thing--the "other man" may
can .p1tlive jealously. and even then
an occasion may arise where the
demon pops up Don't think I wish
/ to crftcise. only want to have you
show me where Fam wrong-if I am
wrong"
where are you wrong2 Only in
| your definitions OF words-and there
| moat of -us go wrong. Someone once
said that words were made to hide
meanlngs,- and often 1t seems abso-
\ lutely true.
We're a man to discover the woman
he loves in another mans arms and
8eel nothing of anger-nothing of al
Oont-he'd prove an absence of fas-
u FnAI l.
IRE of normal humanness. But his
reaction isn't Jealousy" 1t is one OF
offence to the iecency or exclusiveness
which expresses Itself In monogamy.
I mean what I say. Nor can any
Of the ''moderns' fighting for free
love" change certain things which
happen to man as he works up in evo-
luton from beast to something a
! ''little lower than the angels"
The highest form of love-the ideal
Iaove-for which we all long finds its
! ono woman and claves to her until
death causes Its parting. Some of the
animals know this mate spirit.
Now, IL a man comes upon his mate,
his zone woman" in the arms OF
another man he doesn't feel anything
less than a great basic sense of revolt
against the smirchipg of loyalty and
purity, A big love has to be exclusive
and fastidfous. 1t doesn't want to
share. 1t doesn't want to feel that
mere passion can take the place of a
wedding of the spirit and mind and
body which it feels in its love.
What might call "decency in re-
volt" my friend A. w. terms jealousy
To me jealousy means the carping
suspicious nagging which does not al
low any freedom to the object of Its
love. Suspicion is the quality I abjure
in Jealousy, as I see 1T. Surely a
big love and find it possible to sit and
discuss some interest outside heI
home and her love with a. man as well
as with a woman. At
Surely, a man may adore his wife
and enjoy. nevertheless a walk or a
talk or a game of golf or one OF
bridge with another woman who slim
ulates him mentally, though not In
every sense as does the woman ne
So, loves.
cept those of love. A jealous woman
has no peace and permits her ahus-
band or her fiance none. She wants
to claim his every thought, his every
minute. She is so strong in her sell
fish sense of possession that he forgets
that she is one individual and hel
John another
know a man who fortunes him.
self and the woman he loves with his
euspicions at every turn. If she is
dining with other folks she must tele.
phone and account for herself aim oS
hourly. If she is walking on the ave
nue. with her fiance she must no
bow to another man with any show OF
interest unless she is ready to spend
the rest of the afternoon explaining
lust where she met the man to whom
she has nodded and how often She
has seen him and what she has sale
to him.
Jealousy is fear. 1t tries to bui1t
walls around love. 1t feels that 10y
atty isn't possible unless exclusive
rights of possession are given
nags. 1t demands as a right what i: