South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1920-10-27

that IL one OF Us got there first we
waited for the other before begin
ming any gallivantery.
The first evening that Mrs. Jes-
sup knew about our arrangement 1
got 10 the bench before Paisley did.
supper was just over, and Mrs. Jes-
sup was out there with a fresh pink
dress on. and almost cool enough
90 handle.
Il sat down BY her and made
Few specifications about the moral
surface OF nature as set forth by the
landscape and contiguous per
spective That evening was surely
q case in point. The moon was at
tending 20 business IN the section OF
sky where IL belonged. and the
trees was making shadows on the
around according 10 science and ma
turC, and there was "a kind OF con
spicuous hullabalOo going on in the
bushes between the bullbats and
the orioles and the jack-rabbits and
other .eatNered insects OF the for
est. And the wind out Of the
mountains was singing like a jews
harp IN the pile OF old tomato-cans
by the railroad track
Il felt a kind of sensation in my
left side-somcthing like dough
Using in crock by the fire. Mrs.
Jessup had moved up closer.
on Mr.. Hicks. says she, when
one is alone in the world, don't they
feel IL more aggravated on beau
tiful night like this
Il rose up of of the bench at
once.
Excuse me. ma'am. saws J.
but I'll have TO wait till Paisley
comes before I can give a audible
hearing 20 leading questions like
that
And then I explained 10 her
how we was friends cinctured by
years Of embarrassment and travel
and completely, and how We had
agreed 10 take no advantage Of
each other in any of the more
mushy walks Of life. such as might
be fomented by sentiment and
proximity. Mrs. JeSsup appears 20
think serious about the matter for
minute, and then she breaks into
"A species Of laughter and makes
the wildwood resound
In a few minutes Paisley drops
around, with oil Of berEamot on his
hair. and sits on the other side Of
Mrs. Jessup, and inaugurates "A sad
tale OF adventure In which him
and Pieface I4umley has "A skinning
match Of dead COWS in % for a sill
ver-mOunted saddle IN the Santa
Rita valley during the nine months
drought.
Now. from the start OF that
courtship 7 had Paisley Fish hob
bled and tied TO a post. Each one
of us had a different system Of
reaching out for the easy places in
the female heart. Paisley's scheme
was 20 petrify EN- with wonderful
r.H~ 81 r.rr 90 In 4
either como across personally or in
large print I think ne must have
got his idea Of subjugation from
one OF Shakespe shows I see
once called 'Othello There is a
colOred man in il who acquires "a
dukes daughter by diSbursing 10
her a mixture of the talk turned
out by Rider Haggard, Lew Dock
stader and Or. Parkhurst. But that
style Of counting don't work well
off the stage.
Now, I give you my own recipe
for inveigling a woman into that
state Of affairs when she can be re-
ferred 10 rs nee Jones' Learn how
10 pick up her hand and hold II,
and she's yours. II amt so easy.
Some men grab at il so much like
they was going 10 set a dislocation
OF the shoulder that YOU can smell
the arniCa and hear EN- tearing off
bandaEes Some take 10 up like a
hot horseshoe. and hold II off at
arms length like n druggist pour
ing tincture OF asafoetida !n a bot
tie And most of EN- catch hold
OF 70 and drag II right out before the
lady'S eyes like n boy finding a
baseball in the grass, without Civ
ing her a chance to forget that the
hand IS growing on the end or her
arm. Them ways are all wrong.
III tell YOU the right way. Did
YOU ever see a man sneak ont IN
the back ward and pick UP a rock
10 throw at n tomCat that was sit
ting on a fence looking at him? He
pretends he hasn't got n thing IN
his hand, and that the cat don't
see him. and that he don't see tnc
cat That's the idea Never drag
her hand out where shl'll have 20
take notice Of Il. Don't let her
know that YOU think she knows you
have the least idea she IS aware you
are holding her hand That was
my rule OF tactics: and as far as
Pa Slcy's serenade about hOstilities
and misadventure went he might
rs we'll have been reading 20 her
time table OF the SUNDAY trains that
stop NJ Ocean Grove. New Jersey.
lone night when I beat Paisley
20 the bench by one pipeful. my
friendship gets subsidized for p
minute and I asks Mrs. JeSsup #
she didn't think a II was easier 10
write than n j In a second hcr
head was MASKING the oleander
flower In my button hole. and I
leaned over and-but I didn't.
II you don't mind says l.
standing up wen wait for Paisle-
20 come before hnishinc this I've
never done anything dishonorablc
vet 20 our friendship, and this won't
be quite fair
" Mr. Hicks. saws Mrs. JcsSup.
looking AT me peculiar IN the dark.
~ Il wasn't for but one thing. I'd
ask YOU 10 hike yourself down the
CulCh and never disreSume your
visits 20 my house.
And what Is that. mann 7
SKIS