Arizona republican., 1920-02-20
For Sale-One Car
Mister Editor:

Mister Editor:
 We'll, Chief, I spose you been won dering why and the hell l didn't get my copy in to you before the dead line was put up and vile I am sorry that l fell down on my first sign ment and made the paper a day late, still and all got nalibi which when you hear it will make you thank your lucky stars you got any copy atal.
 The Reason
 I was late acct. I just bot nauto- mobile-a 2nd handit one-which IS what the crook called it that sold it to me but what he should ought to or called it was a pecka trouble or a bushla trouble. And might say right here and now that when they calls those buns around the garidses that monkeys with your car trouble chasers'' they oughta be pinched for false miss representations. Those birds don't chase troubles; they in vites one trouble after another and at the rate of a dollar and a quarter per hr.
 But I wander away from the real issues on hand which is to explain why I didn't get my copy in on time, and that brings me to the sad bus. in hand. I say sad, Chief, because l feel awful down in the mouth to think that I was ever fool enough to sell the old mare and rig and put my money into a used car-which is a good name for it. It used to but she don't any more, eh Chief?
 Pulls Off a Big Deal
 Well, she went slicker'n a fat man on a bannanna peeling, when the sales man demonstrated it to me so I took her. and went right over to the gas station and traded the dough I got for the old mare and srig for 10 gals. of gas and a qt. of oil. I come right down to the office to put on little dog in front of the boys and they was all anxious to see her perform. So I turns on the gas and do what they calls advance the spark which is like greek to all but us car owners, just as the saleman showed me how, and I steps on her tail and you may not believe it Chief, but the rest Of the boys will tell you that all she done was to act just like bottle of ginger ail when you open it-you know, a loud pop and a bout minute of fizz6.
 No Kick to Her
 And I started over and it done no peter. She done worse, as even the pop and fizZle was missing. And l stepped on her again dozen times and no luck And I got out and the boys that could control sheir mirths got down off the curve stone and we looked under the hood and tickled the
  thing until the gang ran out of sug- gestions and then there was nothing to do but pray. And of all the free grateful advice that was handit to me, Chief, the best come from the guy who said. maybe she needs a new coat of paint
 So they pulled a low down trick on me by sending for garidge hand. And its hrs. ago and he hasn't come yet, and if only someone would buy the car from me and could get my old mare and rig back, I'd sell it cheap because I can't ford to spend my time monkeying with car when l should be covering my a signments. After all. Chief, the old fashion ways is the best; you don't have to tickle your nag's carbrator and her throttle don't get outa wack so if you know of anybody wants a fine car cheap send them to me.
 sine y
 THE CUB REPORTER
 r. S.: The car ain't for sale now, Chief The garidge hand just come and lookt in the tank and he advised putting some gas in her which did and guess I'll keep the car after all
 -O---