The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1920-12-23

- - sSu~D ~ -, DesD4ka Q.oDS J
; e1Atiating manner "a. nahe the puh3e
. ~ physical gsogrspAy abrasive
t. ~ pupils. Nov. IAN anysbs u
q What shape the world is7r sh1 pul
: sued her EocrAtic msthod. A iirt
: faced little urchin. arcss rapidly Z
his hand unfuF3sd % tie snmmon,
I"P1sase. ma'am," ~ aid, ~my fathe
} aays it's In : han of i shape
"Pap," said : eolorod youth. An,
like you to expatiats on de way d.
de telegraph woTks.1 ADat'S aas,
'nuf, Rastus," said the old nsan. III
am like dis: If dere was dawg biz
'nuf 80 his head could be in Boston
an his tail in New Yo'k, he'd bark
in Bosting. Undsrstan', Rastus I .
Eyes, papl But how am de wireless
telegraph" For = moment the old
man was stumped. Then he answer
ed easily; "Jess prezactly de same,
Rastus, wild de exception dat de
dawg am imaginary"
4 . A
you'll find your bath in the out
house" Thus had Psmythe been d.
rected overnight at country hotel,
and that il why he now, in his dress
ing gown, was pushing open the out
house door. 1t was dark, but there
was the tub. He hoped in. In the
middle Of his additions the landlord |
thrust his head in At the door. In
the dim light he failed to ses the man
In the tub. water quite warm,
observed Psmythe; "but It's
! trife muddy" Muddy be darned!"
roared the landlord. "Your tubs in
he next place. Git out Of It, you
,Iitherin' idiot That's my home
rev you're washin' int"
A certain Scot was an old bachelor
md his own cook. Being Of frugal
ntnd-and Scotch, he regarded cat
neal as the stsf Of life. To save
uel and time in preparation he cook
d weeks rations at one time. The
orridgc got pretty stale toward the
and finally he found 1t so
nappetizing that he placed his bottle
sside his plate and remarked to him
III, "Doon WI the porridge, Sandy,
I'd ye shall haze nip;" and he
,ured out the nip into \ glass. He
-omptly finished the last Of his por-
dye, reached for the glass, pondered
moment, and then poured the wills
y back into the bottle and chuckled
himself: 'Hoot, mon, that was
e time l fuled vel"
Big Ole had just applied for job
the farmer asked him where he
been working. He said, II bane -
'rkin' for Chris Johnson" The =
rmer said: "Why, Ole, Chris John
n is a good farmer. what did you
It him forf" Ole pondered NOM
and then said: "Well. / tole you,
bane workin' Cor Chris johnson
!, an he say, ole, you skin dat
,ep.' So l skin dat sheep and we
him; den in two, three weeks
I die and Chris say: 'Ole, you
n dat calf an / skin dat calf an
have mea for = long time. An
las night-and Ole's voice sank
= whisper ''his mudder-in-law
an l quit"
! have had some experience with |
IT," said Old Bill Misgivens back
It on goat farm. II regard goats
= regular derned nuisance. Had
lily goat who would just naturally
anything. He ate up four shirts
couple Of suits Of underwear
me. One day he swallowed lit
music box had bought for the
ngest Of my II boys. The thing
Id only play three tunes, Star
ngled Banner" Dixie and Near
W God to Thee When he first
lowed It he seemed to be pretty
satished, but pretty soon some
z started the blame thing to play
The goat seemed to be much
rised and stood still while the
|c box ground out the first two
>, but when It started in on Near
" God to Thee he just naturally
on the hooks, a. the saying i.
rst he began TO run around in .
and then started on dead run
g 70 get away. Didn't look
= h vas going and fell into IN
aonsd we'll that hadn't been prop
covered. and broke his neck"