The Nevada County picayune., 1920-12-23

household, with a charming bride to pour the imitation coffee, and vine and figtree in jardiniere, I'd send special delivery letter to James, ask ing him to come and stay for ten years or more.
 "There's something restful and soothing about that gifted man. He never bothers anybody. No one has to waste precious moments entertain ing him. It isn't necessary to discuss the weather predictions, or dig up. lot of statistics about the crops, in order to make James have a good time. You don't have to show him the old plush photograph album, and describe the ancestry of the melancholy efffgies whose pictures appear therein. Near ly all visitors are bores, my dear Mrs, Jiggers, because they have to be en- tertained. Somebody has to sit up with them and thrash out last years goSip. They have no initiative or referendum. They have no resources of their own. In order to have pleas ant visit, they need help.
 "Your cousin James is a man after my own heart l remember his last visit quite well. He came in the eve ming, and after supper he took a chair on the porch. Knowing he was guest, felt it my duty to entertain him in the conventional way. 1 dragged my chair close up to his and remarked that 1t was a pleasant eve ming, but the presence of cloud bank in the northwest almost convinced me that there would be rain within twelve hours, in which case, I proceeded, there would be much jubilatlon among the honest old farmers, whose crops were suffering for moisture.
 James listened to my remarks and then looked at me, in a sad, reproach- ful way, as though he thought it a shameful thing that imbeciles should be at large, and then he took his chair to the opposite end of the porch with out having said a word. l must con fess that I felt like a counterfeit kopeck for few minutes. but the more l CbiiS itltd tiie H'dN'Si' ''S more I admired and respected that remarkable man.
 "IIe used to go downtown every morning and buy paper backed novel, or fiction magazine, and then he'd read if all day, and when he was done with his literature he left 1t where the hoarders could get it. l didn't hear him say ten WGrdS during his visit, yet you say, Mrs. Jiggers, that he is an unsatisfactory guest. Elderly landladies, whose intelleets have been warped by long years of parsimony. are hard to please
 Jeremiah. whom you describe as jolly and agreeable, should be snp- pressed. He has collected all the old chceSey stories ever manufactured, and insists upon telling them. He has Il horrible habit of making puns, and considers himself humoriSt, be- cause of if. You couldn't bribe him to sit deWn with a book or magazine and behave himself He has 10 he enter tainea every minute of his time, and the only way you can entertain him is hv letting him do the enserta'n'H&
 "Ile is q genial old freak who hias he is priyileaed character. ant every Lade'z net. Thaiaet tiae he e7s her, ha went into my sumptuonS apar' mcut ani used my razor to shave A7. southeast quarter section of hi- caunteUance. His whisler4 are ful of barhed wire. and the razor wa, rnined. When I spoke 10 him ahout ii he bought it funny Yet you refe' to such man as m agreeable visl- tor. I blush for you, Mrs 1iggers."