The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-07-04
K|WAN|ANS FOLLOW
 f THE LADY GUIDES
Chipmunk Fed on Liver Pills Is Not Seen Again By
 Party

"on bord trane in collaradough. mum dy june the somethingth.
 Dear age Heruld:
 we aint had no chanst to rite you fur sum time as we has been up in yeiler- stone park where there aint no mails nor anything but bears and guysers and lady gides and sech, and what with the bears huggin us and us huggin the lady gides and we all huggin the guysers to kepe warum in the mite time, thare WuzzahI time to do nothing else.
 "When we got to the park we feit much like the eyerishman who saw the jiraf and sed there aint no sech anlmui. the list thing we seen wuz boilin mud pool which lukt like bole uv durty dish water on hot stove. then there WIZ boiling pules by the milyun and the guysers themselves which would wate q bit and then cut loose with water and steme and rore like d nat. Hun. then we cum to big holes i'll the ground with sul- fur gas and steme belehing 4th, and the parsun lost his nerV and sed he had been preaching about hell fur tha kind Of a long time, but he never ne" huthlh about it be4.
 there wuzzent nuthin to de wat the grand cannon ecksept to chunk rocks at the ege1s which we did with much aban- don. and we merely lost one of our party poor simp who tried to climb doun the side of the cannon to fetch his lady's hat which had blone off We grabbed him as he slid ovur and fished up the hat with a fishin line, which was all the good the fishin lines did us, as sune as the hat wuz fished up the lady and the rescued fell out, and we thot it was a good thing for her not to tie up with a knut like that
 "sum of the animuls up there are kwite tame. and wud feed on peanuts rite out of your hand, and mercer ran on' of peanuts and fed 1 of them on a box of liver-pills he had in his poliet and we never saw sed woodchuck again.
 what with the altytude (which meens the mts.) and the lady gides our hearts were alwaze in a sort of flutter and r. w. Bromberg wuz so overkum he lost a whole day once, but his wife staid with him and when he seen that he got well and kum on an caught up with us at the stashun where the best lookin lady gide gided.
 'when we got tired of altytude we lSum down from the park to Salt Lake. they aint got much altytude down there, but judging by the number of wives they has they must have considerabul latitude. and this pleezed most of the boys fine, we went out to the saltair bathing beech where the Mack Seen-it bathing gurls hold 4th, and when we seen it ourselves we didn't blame mack much And it shore helped us understand how old brig. young started that there polly gamn1y business, and we bet our shnrtz he never thot of it until he had been out to the lake.
 sthe boys in Salt Lake treeted us fine if they wuz mostly mormuns, Mercer got in bad with the lady who wuz driv- ing him around by laffing at mormuns and askin to be showed 1. finully the lady drew herself up and said she wuz l of the wives of 1 of the>mormuns and he wuz a durned fine feller, and merc didn't have no kum-back except to say that if they wuz all like her he didn't bame him.
 well we've left Salt lake and are all heded thro the rockies. we've just kum over 10-i-c pass which is miles higher than mobile and we hay all grone so fat it tux , engines to get us up the mt sune be in collar adough springs which is so called becaws it is their that collar-adough springs up into bikes peek foreteen thousand fete above mobile and tampa. we are all going up to the ton and even if there ain't no lady gides the aItytude will fele like there pulkritude and we will hay the same shortness of breath. Heres hepin.
 ''The Kikanis bunch"