davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-09-17
Eggs

II was a beautiful morning In the
spring of 1880. Basil Bilidad, a
Young and handsome farmer, was
singing cheerily as he packed fresh
layed eggs into a crate to ship them
to market. Romance was awning.
and love was in the air. so Basil, in
a spirit of adventure. took an egg
and with an indelible pencil wrote
his name and address on the she'll
and added the words: Please Write
to Me-" Then he shipped the eggs
to the storage house in the great
city.
Chapter II.
1t was a gray afternoon in the fall
of 1920. Basil Billdad, a stopped and
toilworn former, heard the han Of
the rural mail carrier. Basil went
to the gate and received a letter adj
dressed in a feminine hand. With
trembling lngers he opened the en-
trembling fingers he opened the err
in. The message was from a girl In
the great city. and ran Is follows:
Dear Basil: / purchased a dozen
eggs from my grocer today and one
of the eggs contained a message
written with an indelible pencil. The
message gave your name and address
and said: Write to Me- I am young
and romantic and know / could love
you.-Gladys Goldilocks."
Chapter III.
With a sigh and a malediction on
ill storage houses. Basil crushed the
letter in his horny hand. He had a
red-headed wife and IL red-headed
children. The message was an
swered forty years too late.
"
Good DopeI
Do not despond when hard luck
comes,
Fen though your lot be bitter:
Stick out your chin and wear a grin,
The good Lord hates a gutter.
Paw Knows Everything.
Willie-Paw, why are there no
marriages in Heaven?
Paw-That's why it Is Heaven,
my son.
Maw-willie you finish your
night work and get to bed!
Learn This by Heart.
He starts a fire who fools with
sparks,
Don't be a gabby pup;
Be careful how you drop remarks,
For they may be picked up.
Betcha.
what Is the best cure for the
blues" asked the Old Fogy.
THE long green" replied the
Crouch.
Strange.
To be suspicious isn't nice,
But on this fact l chew:
When Cotton takes a jump in price,
Why does Wool go up. too?
Making the Task Easy.
81 have never taken the writing
of a column as a serious task" con-
fesses Luke McLuke, in 1.-The Col
yumists' Confessional" in Every
body's. Well, it is a serious task:
that is, as serious as any other task
in a comic universe. No man can
take his task too seriously, nor him
self too unseriously.
Column conducting" Mr.. Nc
Luke goes on, sis getting to be a
great indoor sport" Nonsense!
It's column conducting that ena-
bles a man to get outdoors.
FTdCllcdliy
Day
Long,
F. P. A, in New York Tribune.
We sure could set a merry pace,
And get out every day;
Had we the nerve to fill up space
This way:
Like
p.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-09-17

sherlock. What's Your Hunch?
TACOMA, Wash.-This want ad
appears in a newspaper here:
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-09-17
Whatever That Is.

At that, f. p. AS blank prose
style safeguarding him from the dis
east prevailing among magazine
writer's. The Journal of the Mis-
souri, Medical Association announces
that the magazine literature of to-
day exhibits "a hyperpituitarism of
terrible name for a fearsome afflic-
ton that causes slush-mush-gush lc-
tionists to use too many words and
too many phrases that mean nothing
an dhaye no connection, but help
pad out the wordage. May a kind
providence preserve us against "Hy-
perpituitarism of the Postodalescent
type"
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-09-17

A Cincinnati manufacturer, after
a fatal accident to a man who was
inspecting the plant without per-
mission, caused this typewriter no
tice to be placed on the door:
NO Loafing Here
Except On Business"
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-09-17

The air is cool, the leaves turn
red.
The fall is here, I vow:
Light underwear you'll have 10 shed,
Prepare to shed it now.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-09-17
BITS OF BY-PLAY

BIZ LUKE McLUKE.
Copyright, 1920. by The Cincinnati
Enquirer.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-09-17

Bare & SWEET, Eureka Springs.
Mo.
Our Daily Special.
Some of the Brides Ought 10
Wear Lemon Blossoms.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-09-17

"What Is the best cure for the
blues" asked the Old Fogy.
THE long green" replied the
Crouch.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-07-19

head or the house even if that house consists of one small wife and can- ary bird. When he begins to take his meals in a hash house he begins to look on his wife as source of daily expense and begins to wonder if som of the better looking chickens who eat there would not cost less and she be- gins to wonder if that fellow at No. 6 table who is always smiling isn't a bet ter dispositioned fellow than her hus- band.
 Nix, on that outside eating stuff. We won't play that way in this fam fly as long as we can raise the price of soup bone.
 If die and the autopsy shows only one of your biscuits or doughnuts to be the cause of my death, 1 will die happy. If this house becomes a pa- rade ground for cooks of all nations who walk right in and turn around and walk right out again, I will keep my temper, but when you try to make me roost here and peck some place else l am going to fly instead"
 Then come on out in the kitchen and wipe the dishes for me-" said Im- ogene, rising.
 T wish I had kept my fool mouth shut" said Andrew. q am always talking myself into some sort of a cor ner. Did you plan this D
 lmogene only smiled sweetly and rose to go Unto the kitchen.
 Copyright, Twenty first Century
 Press, Inc)
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-07-19
ROANOKE

Roanoke, July 1S.-(SpeciaD.-J. E. Kitchens and family have arrived here from New York City. They made the Journey. without serious mishap. in six days and six hours. travelling in a Ford car.
 Sam Green, former sheriff of Heard county, who made fine record there in the enforcement of the law, has suc- ceeded c. W. Heard as chief of poiict of this city.
 Rev. William c. Crowder, pastor of thA Sxty-sixth street Presbyterian church of Birmingham, is assisting Rev. C. E. Mar tin. in a protracted meeting at the Second Baptist church of this city.
 Excavations are now being made for the foundation of the three-story build ing to be occupied by the new Citssen Bank.
 Lr. and Mrs. W r Tenant have gone to Manchester to locate, where Dr. Ten nant will be engaged in his profession. he is a recent graduate in medicine from the Emory University. of Atlanta
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-07-19
Andrew and Imogene , x~ssza Little Life Confidence. in the ExPerenee Ig@sssaA of Couple, Phlosophic Though Married
 P~T~ By ROE FULKERSON
UI N0UPES, I H1tOsUPHHSs 1HOUBH WHIT
 By ROE FULKERSON

dill pickle with sardine wrapped
 around it and impaled with a tooth l pick.
 l eWell, had rather dine on roll moI | in my own dining room than to have
 steak and mushrooms in the bigges and best restaurant that ever robbed ] rube.
 Home is the sweetest word we have in the language we speak. Home is where you eat. If you eat in a wholesome food foundry you have nc more home than an alley cat and no more, domesticity than a taxi cab driver.
 You can't have home without you eat in it. You can't peck one place and roost another and still be a civil ized human being. It takes an odor of food to create the odor of sanity which should be the atmposphere of every home on earth.
 ''The place one sleeps may be any where. The place one spends ones days or nights is of little consequence, but it takes the tinkle of knife, fork and spoon to make a decent accom- paniment to the tune of Home, Sweet Home.'
 If you will ask Kelly the crossing cop, he will tell you that when he sees a family going out to its meals with each other, he knows it is not going to be long until he sees those same two people going out separately with other people.
 "The dinner table is the family clear ing house. It is here they meet and debate matters of mutual interest, and 1t is here the man of the house real izes his responsibility of being the
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-07-19

The Masonic picnic to be given by Ensley Commandery No 36 and Ensley Chapter No. 120, Royal Arch Masons, will take place at Green Station, on the Louisville and Nashville railroad Thursday, July 22. The train leaves the depot at o'clock.
 At recent meeting of the Builders Circle of the First Baptist Church. the annual election of officers was held with the following results: Chairman, Mrs. B. B. Gillespie; secretary, Mrs. W. E. Boyd; treasurer, Mrs. A. G. Long missionary leader Mrs. Charles Hass- Ter; birthday secretary, Mrs. Frank Leslie.
 The members of the Pratt City Bap- tist Woman's Missionary Union will hold their regular business meeting at the church this afternoon at 23O.
 The Tribe of Reuben of which Mrs w. J. Grim is captain, will give a watermelon cutting on the lawn of the Pratt City school Tuesday evening at 5 o'clock. The public is invited.
 Miss Rebecca Craig, who was the
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-07-19
-Nimbleheels.

| AS 1 llVe. he exclaimed, Tt IS Nimbleheelsw
 Mice as is Reddy Fox. But all the Mice Reddy had ever hunted remained on the ground, and that made all the | difference in the world. Nimbleheels didn't run as other Mice do when they are hunted. He jumped, and there was 1 no telling in which direction the next , jump would take him. It would take Reddy two or three jumps to reach the place where Nimbleheels had dis appeared in the grass.
 When he did get there it would be to see Nimbleheels suddenly shoot into the air again. Never in his life had Peter Rabbit seen such jumping. This way, that way every way Nimbleheels jumped. Once he jumped right straight back over the head of Reddy Fox and Reddy actually fell over his own heels in his hurry to turn around to follow Nimbleheels.
 Peter Rabbit sat up as high as he could in order to watch and most of the time his heart was in his mouth. Anyway, 1t seemed so. You sec, he was so dreadfuliy afraid that Reddy Fox would catch Nimbleheels. But finally Nimbleheels made three jumps. one right after the other, three very long jumps. They were not in straight line. One was one way, the second was another way and the third was still another way. By the time he landed after that third jump Reddy Fox was so confused he had no idea where Nimbleheels had disappeared. Copyright. 1920, by T. w. Burgess)
 The next story: "Nimbleheels Is Thankful"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-07-19
State Councils Asked
 to Plan to Cooperate
 With National Committee

| Washington, July 18.-Executive councils of state federations of laboi
 were asked today by the executive committee of the American Federation to hol dspecial sessions Saturday, Au- gust T. to adopt measures for close 1 cooperation with the national commit tee in the political campaign.
 The councils were asked especially to study the legislative records on measures of interest to labor of all members of the Sixty-s sixth Congress, whose terms of office expire March 4. These records recently were com pleted by the national committee and sent to the state organizations
 Special conferences of all labor or ganizationsN in each of the congress sional districts of the country also were suggested by the national committee, but no dates were fixed. The purpose of these conferences would be to pre- pare for active campaigns in each con. gressional district
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-07-19
Royal Constabulary
 Commissioner Is Killed
 By IA Armed Assassins

Belfast. July 1s-Commissioner Smyth of the Royal Irish constabulary was shot dead in the Country Club at Cork last night by fourteen armed men who forced their way past the door man. Smyth was found by the intruders sitting with friends, one of them Dis- trict Inspector Craig. Several of the men fired point blank at Commissioner Smyth. who rose, but fell dead while endeavoring to reach the door. MT. Craig was wouned during the fusillade. MT. Smyth was the divisional commis- sioner for the Munster Royal Irish con- stabulary. It is reported that some arrests have been made in connection with the shooting.
 Smyth was a captain of the Fifteenth Sikhs during the world war and won the Victoria cross.
 He had just returned to Ireland from London, where he gave the Irish office an explanation of affairs in Ire land.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-07-19
MAROON AND RAY BEGIN TOUR OF
 AMERICAN LINKS

Mt. Vernon, N Y. July 1S.-Harr. Var don, six times golf champion of Great Britain and Ted Ray. noted British pro- fessional, began their tour of the links Of the United States here today by de- feating two of Americas leading ahp- teurs Ned Sawyer and John C. Ander- son. The visitors took an IS hole match on the links of the Siwancy Country Club in the morning by a score of 3 up and to play.
 In the afternoon Vardon and Ray de- feated Tom Kerrigan and Tom McNam- ara in their first match against American professionals. The score was up and l to play.
 Vardon was suffering from an injured thumb, sustained on shipboard, and both players had hardly gained their land legs' after their ocean trip. Ray made the most sensational shots of the two and was the favorite. The match was watch ed by large gellery.
 While Vardon did not drive so long a ball as Ray, his tee shots were usually on a par with Sawyer or Anderson. each of whom is considered a pretty long hitter among American amateurs
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-07-19
ENTRIES ANNOUNCED
 FOR BIG REGATTA

New York. July 1S-The entries for the national regatta which will be rowed next Friday and Saturday on Lake Quin- sigamond, Worcester, Mass, were an- nounced here today by secretary Nolan, of the national association of amateur oarsmen This year the entry list is of high class, though not as long as on some former occasions.
 Unusual interest centers in the senior singles doubles, four and eights as the winners in each of these contests wilt be sent to Antwerp, Belgium to compete in the Olympic contests against the best oarsmen that the rest of the world can produce The only Canadian entry comes from Halifax, and it is for the intermed- fate single shell race. There are no so,rh- ern entries.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-07-19
SOCIAL EVENTS and FEATURES FOR WOMEN
Bur ge ess sfaties sfaties
Nimbleheels Jumps For His Life
By THORNTON w. BURGESS
WHO aIWdys uO5 HIS very DeSJ Is thus prepared for any test.

Peter Rabbit felt very humble after
 his jumping match with Nimbleheels ! the Jumping Mouse Nimbleheels had
 made Peter appear to be no jumper at all But Peter was not jealous. Per | maps he was a little envious. but he wasn't the least jealous. Not one
 among all those who had watched the 1 wonderful exhibition of jumping by Nimbleheels had been more ready with applause.
 That had been wonderful exhition of Jumping. but 1t happened that only a day or two later Peter saw a still more wonderful exhibition. Peter was Just about to leave the edge of the Green Forest 10 scamper across the Green Meadows to the dear old Briar- patch, when just in time he caught sight of something red moving in the tall grass.
 'Ha" exclaimed Peter. That's Reddy Fox as sure as I'm alive. guess if want to stay alive the best thing l can do is to remain just where l ann You see, Peter was right on the edge of an old bramble-tangle.
 In a few minutes it became quite clear to Peter that Reddy Fox was very much interested in something out there in the long grass. Reddy was hunting. With his nose to the ground he would run a few steps this way and a few steps that way and few steps the other way then suddenly stand up on his hind legs so as to look over the top of the tall grasses.
 Tt must be that he is hunting for Danny Meadow Mouse" thought Peter. T do hope Danny knows Reddy is there and will keep out of sight"
 Suddenly from right in front of Reddy Fox something shot up into the air over the tops of the tall grasses and dropped out of sight again.
 At first Peter thought it was Sweet voice the Field Sparrow. You see, he had had only a glimpse. Reddy Fox sprang swiftly toward the place where that little moving form had disap- peared Instantly it was in the air again. this time on to one side Peter got a good look at it. AS I live" he exclaimed, lit is Nimbleheels, I do hope Reddy Fox won't catch him. It | would be dreadful if Reddy did"
 But Reddy didn't. Not that Reddy didn't try Never had he tried harder to catch any one than he did to catch Nimbleheels the Jumping Mouse. You know Reddy is famous for catching Mice. Not even Black Pussy, Farmer Browns cat, is as clever at catching
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-07-19

would pain terribly if stepped of curb-stone. One day one of your book lets was thrown in the yard and I read every word in it. There were so many who had been helped by your medicine that I wanted to try it and my husband went to town and got me bottle. It seemed as though l felt relief after the second dose, so I kept on until I had taken five bottles and by that time I was as well as I could wish. About . year later l gave birth to ten pound boy, and have had two more children since and my health has been fine. If l ever have trouble of any kind I am going to take your medicine for I give it all the praise for my good health. always recommend your medicine whenever I can."-Mrs. EVA E. SHAY, Garnett, Kansas.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-07-19

"Oh, mel" said Imogene after din- ner, q wish there was no such thing as eatingi With planning meals, working with servants or washing dishes oneself, it is the bane of a woman's existence. l wish we lived in an apartment or near some good res taurant where we could go out to our meals and do away with the culinary department of this establishment"
 .sGet a transfer" said Andrew, ear nestly. You are on the wrong line to ever arrive at any station of happi- ness. Do you know what roll mop is"
 'No,' said Imogene. Something like a carpet sweeper to wash the floor?"
 Not exactly said Andrew. "A roll mop is the last item on a rathskeller bill of fare. It is a short section of
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-07-19
TN The Age-Her main a Ems R N cor A and uhscrpt |
 al AvenuE Russell Bros Ensey

guest of MT. and Mrs. T. Dewalt Craig, en route from an extended northern trip, has returned to her home in Dal- las county.
 MT. and Mrs. S. D. Neal of Savannah, Ga, are visiting Mrs Meals parents, MT. and Mrs. J. T. Huffstutler. on Alois avenue,
 Mrs. Neil Gay has as her guests. her parents, Mir and Mrs. J. w. Vaughn of Colum bus Miss
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-07-19

CoihPicto H . I V U u 5 breakdown follow ing the birth of my oldest child. I got up too soon which caused serious fe- male trouble. I wae so weak that I was not able to be on my feet but very little and could not do my homework at all. I
 had g bad pain in my left sid e and it
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-07-19

ENSLEY COUNCIL TO MEET
 All Council Masons are requested to meet at 1712 Avenue +, EnsIey, Tues- day evening at z 80 o'clock for the pur- pose of revising the list that was lost. All who wish to make application, con- fer with ID. A. Echols.
 (Signed) ID. A. ECHOLS. B. A. BROOKS.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-07-19
A LETTER
 FOR WOMEN
From a Woman Whose Serious Ill- ness Was Overcome by Lydia E.
 Pinkham's Vegetable Compound.

Garnett, Kas.-"I first took Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound for a
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-07-19

No longer dear little Johnny Is thrilled to his n Was wholly surrounded by a imperile O. crime Where villains red and people dead, In the novels that sold for a Forgot is the dreadful dime were by yes trails Where heroes looked death in the A dime will not tn same fiction it did n ear But you'll find the their That dollars throw. No does the bloodcurdng drama a youth a pitch o excitednes which Caused pulses fluter and
 
 play, the hard working horde who could afford To the shows Broadway twenty and thirty-cent thriners things of the long faded the crowd shrieks its horror aloud As it looks at these dramas aghast bloodshed, With hdeous murders replete, HE only a high class AGjMt At of five fish for seat!
  robbed at 4he in justice that he of at WATCHED politically has several times his well Copyright, 1920 by the Bell Syndicate, lnc)
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-07-19
For the Good of
 the Community

A SOFT THING" may be comfort able, but, by dint of it's being soft, it lacks permanency.
 There is penalty in 'softness.' It is contrary to the laws of nature. The life that IS worth while is made up of action. The man who is worth while wants ac- tlon. He, who is allowed soft berth has contempt for those permitting him to occupy it~and contempt for himself for lying on one.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-07-19
The Iron Age says:

The Iron Age says:
 "A manufacturing company employing hun dreds of men recently let it be known that it
 would hire workmen for the present
 at least. The psychological effect of this was
 apparent immediately in practical results More
 and better work done in that plant there
 were fewer days off, less loafng on the job and
 greater production per
 Another company employing eighty men let
 thirty of them go. It surprised to find that
 With the remaining fifty men it got output
 equal to that which the eighty men had produced.
 "A motor truck manufacturer who cut down
 his working force about one-third, was surprised
 to find to what extent individual production in-
 creased, and he lost only two and half trucks per day with his reduced organization"
 The Iron Age concludes that 'sthe wise workman will realize that today the manufacturer is not under the same com pulslon to overlook slothful work as he was few months ago."
 One of the most sodden things that crept out from the maelstrom of the war was the contrast between the spirit of the men fighting in Flanders and thousands of men pretending to be supporting them with might and main over here In Elan ders they gave all that was in them. Over here they only too often held back more than they gave.
 In Flanders the enemy was just in front. It twas hard going. It was kill or be killed. Over here it was drawing down more money for less work. Over there it was the spirit of action; over here the spirit of sloth begotten of "soft" place.
 These men with these "soft" berths fbn preyed on society and on one another un- til the burden of holding them up has got ten so heavy that it is being put aside. The landing place and the manner of shifting the burden is becoming trifle less gentle with each passing day.
 The longer the occupant of the s'soft'' berth insists on occupying it, the more dis contented grows the man underneath holding it up and the less inclined to re- duce the roughness of the discard when he does cast it from him.
 Standards of living have been raised. Standards of performance have not kept pace with them It has been so easy that men have not cared whether they worked all day or six days in the week. It has been so easy that consciences have be- come callous
 It was bound to come about as the Iron Age has pointed out What was counten- anced in period of stress when all is sub servient to one great accomplishment cannot be borne long in times of peace. War is waste and peace is for reproduc- tion of what war has wasted Peace will not submit to the sabotage of sloth, be- cause sloth counts against reproduction. What the Iron Age records is being done all over the country It is America re-asserting the spirit of her pioneers and repudiating those who still demand "soft" places