Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1920-08-22
HEARD AND SEEN

why girls leave home may be quite
problem. but why men like to eat
at their own domiciles offers no diff
cuit1es whatever. There may be few
men, OF course. who really prefer to
get their chuck" at hotels and res
taurants. but 1 am speaking of the
great majority
lhere is one man here who SwearS
that when his wife comes home from
the country he will never allow her
to go away again. Among the rea-
sons offered will be that no more will
he eat in a restaurant.
This fellow has the highest regard
Tor the local restaurants. at least IN
theory. Restaurants, like most every
thing else. have two sides to their
make-up-the theoretical and the
practical.
The theory is that one always gets
clean spoon, cup, plate, etc. frac-
tcally, one always doesn't. al Ieas,'
not some times. If the restaurant pa
tron always did DR.. Fowler would
have just one less worry as health
officer of the District.
The man referred to above dropped
in very nice looking restaurant not
so many blocks from DR.. Fowlers OF
flee. Being in hurry, he ordered me
standard restaurant diet -coiee
and doughnuts.
When he got his purchase TO the
armchair he started to stir up MS
coffee, but then and there mace
discovery that was not 10 ms INNS
Remnants of some one else orea
fast were plainly visible SUCKING ou'
of the mug above the coffee Inc
This was zoo much for the patron.
so he grabbed up the offending cup
and bore it back to the counter.
Say" he said to the counterman,
"look at this. 1 want another cup
of coffee"
The counterman, worthy grant
looked critically at the cup. w men
he spoke it was in genuinely
aggrieved tone.
"Why, it's just egg he said
When the body of Gen. Gorgas.
worthy soldier and distinguished
whose work helped to
make the Panama canal an actually,
was laid to rest at Arlington national
cemetery last week, washington
halted to witness the solemn cortege.
Street cars were stopped on the
tracks in the vicinity Of 14th and q
streets for about twenty minutes
backing up for blocks while the
funeral procession went by. Those
in the front cars could see the
cortege. but those in rear cars were
unable to see, and so wondered what
was the reason for the "tie-up.
This gave rise to the usual COM
and questions, which many OF
the conductors were unable TO an
swer. Perhaps the most curious
question, however, was one Whlch the
Conductor did answer promptly.
1t was aboard a car stopped at the
platform at 14th and streets.
After the car had been there ABOUT
fifteen minutes, man turned to the
conductor :a
II am in a great hurry he SAID.
when will we get to lith street!
While war RACES in the fair land of
Poland. residents of the National
Capital sit on their back porches
these hot summer nights and discuss
whether said porches viii fall down
soon.
old selfshness which philosophers
have declared to be the trait which
has saved humanity from extinction in
the biologic race for survival. NOT
that these good citizens dream for
moment that they are selfish.
But each warmly ciings to his or
her own theory of anything, and ac-
cords other peoples theories but scant
attention. This was brought out
splendidly in a conversation heard re-
Gently from three apartment house
jewellers who sat on their porches.
They were talking from porch to
porch The lady of the second floor
had said she was afraid her porch
would fall down, since one end of 1t
was rotting.
There is a broken water pipe up
there" she said, land the water COW
ers the porch in sheet, and is rot
ting the whole porch"
"The post is warping," said the lady
across the way.
ut will fall in a big windstorm,"
said the man on the first floor.
So the three theories were enun-
ciated-the Theory of the Broken
Water Spout, the Theory of the
Warped Post and the Theory of the Big
Windstorm.
What all agreed upon was that the
porch would fall.
Yes" continued the lady on the ILL.,
fated porch, II am sure the water
spout will do it."
"Ahem," said the lady across
'"That post looks awfully warped"
"A big windstorm will blow 1t
down." said the man.
CHARLES E TRACEWELL.