The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1920-10-06
Speaker Apt to Change
Pace Of World for Not
Predicting Before Came
~ Bruce Coteiand.

Ry 010Ce J00G40Q.
or SPECIAL CluCkIN WIZ,
Ebbsts F1sld. Kings borough.
Greater New York, Oct. e.-Tffe
Speaker estAblished1 . worlds ser-
les precedent yesterday, not ooly
BY being manager Of tho ffst team
in the annual revue to show Rube
Marquard's brids-so-be how good
and. incidentally rotten hs {Rubel
IL. but BY declining to practice 81
the grounds before the massacre.
I'VE are here to win and don't
need to waste any motions. Tris
explained when interrosated about
what seemed to be cheating the
rabble out Of one Of the headline
acts. Speaker has always been .
great baseball player. Yesterday
he became . great humanitarian BY
not showing the Robins what they
had to suffer until game time.
iris Bear for Form.
The night clerk 1t the Clarendon
Is q great admirer Of truthful
Tristram. He believes that even
Flo, Zeigfeld would fall for his
form. Being a great baseball
player, iris has to display q lot
of form, thereby mourning the
jealousy OF Aphrodite. Being a
lady, Aph' can not express her
feelings without showing 4 lot Of
form. That's right! YOU win the
beautiful hand-painted parafine
coffee cooler!
The night clerk believes the
greatest Speaker on the Cleveland
tally-ho Spoke q full load like Joe
Wo(ul)od if the Gard (e)ner hadn't
cried, "Oh'(h!) Neill, quit playing
on that Uhle while Mails is deliver
ing!" The clerk says Speaker
couldn't keep quiet at wake be-
cause his name would give him
away. The cub reporter would
have q helluva time writing,
Among the speakers was Speaker
What's Likely to Happen.
The nocturnal clerk land Gawd
only knows why they still call 'em
clerks when they make you eat
from their hands as we'll as in the
cafe) believes that. hereafter, all
those who initiate corpses before an
audience and don't know it, will
have to forego all preliminaries or
else there might be an increase in
| sleeping partnerships. He believes
Speakers refusal to practice just
before series game will mean:
That bull will be restored to
its rightful abode in the die.
tionary;
That collectors will dispense
with preliminary duns by get
ting the money the first time3
That you'll have to quit stall.
ing and marry the girl, Or beg
| her father to support You, too;
That the voters be allowed to
elect candidates to public Office
without hearing in advance
what won't be done;
That all persons shall f01ego
appearances and display mort.
cages. etc, upon request,
That parents be restrained
from extolling their infants
| until they, said parents, are In.
clined to agree with the con.
sensus to the e0ntraryS 7
That landlords cease praying
in church until rents may be
seen without the aid Of IN air.
plane,
That McSwlney's remaining
days be announced by the week,
irasmuch as he Is stin weaker
on the 55th day;
That flappers, who are long.
on hose and short ON skirts,
should compromise by wearing
half.hose;
That God won't remove his
arms. from around, the Indians
SO they cannot win and
That the Bulldogs. cancel all
scheduled front porch games
and c0ndescend to be trans.
ported to Rock Island, f. 0. b,
Canton.
Brooklyn Blues
| uc l6CL IuAI N1CSVl0AO VOPtCt
the first game Of the series yester
day meant nothing in Brooklyn
young lives. 1t was that the Dodg
ers had lost. Last night they fell
like flooding the subways to drown
their sorrows. One mourner sug
gested that they cut up Prospec
Park into building lots. Another
intimated that they should turI
Coney Island over to the r. W
Woolworth company. It WAS ever
advised that 100000 trolley car,
be burned, leaving approximate,
1873, 892-trolley cars In Brooklyn
or 100000 less to dodge.
The game was not without It.
seamy side. No. indeedle! Righ,
after Ed Konetchy had thrown thu
ball to left field in an attempt t