Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1920-08-05
THINKOGRAPHs

Perhaps the Lord didn't answer your
prayer because you asked for an
automobile instead Of health and
ability to earn one.
Labor is high, living is high, and
the gait at which the world is moving
is something like the speed Of the
liberty motor.
When we were children we thought
when we grew up we could make all
the noise we wanted to, but when we
lgrew up we found others making all
the noise.
The farmers do most of their roar
ing about the weather and the price
Of produce. Town people complain Of
hard times and of the fact that. farm
produce costs them SO much. We all
manage to find something to whine
about.
These highbrows that favor the
Bolshevist movement should move to
Russia, where the intellectuals are
not fed until all other classes have
had what they want.
This is what the present satur-
MALTA Of high prices amounts to.
Each is robbing the other, with the
result that every one of the chick
ems some home to roost and the water
seeks its level, just as it always has
and always will.
A North Carolina minister says
the world is-headed for the time when
there will be no more need of courts,
jails and sheriffs. We are glad the
brother is SO optomistic, but we fear
it will be long time yet before the
politicians disappear entirely.
The Tribune tells us that in New
York the great cigarette war has en-
ded and price-cutting has stopped.
We suppose the war we are hoping
for will never come off. It's one in
(which the corned beef and cabbage
purveyors will grapple each other in
a death struggle.
| It is said that special attention will
be paid to the scenery in Annette
Kellerman's next great picture. We
never miss one of Annette's pictures,
and if anything is ever lacking in the
quality or sweep of Annette's seem
ery, hanged if we have been able to
discover it.
The pen is mightier than the sword
and money is mighteir than both. I.
They kill men like Christ and Lin
coin and let things like Jack johnson
live.
| We notice that most of our very
good friends want us to work for
them in one way or another for
nothing.
How nice it would be if one was as
superior person as young and
newly uniformed officer feels.
If people looked like the pictures
of the tailors' fashion plates. and
dressmakers' models they would all
be in the bughouse.
It is comforting to know that we
can always unload our lead nickels
on the street car company, now that
they have those pay-as-you-enter
boxes.
|. Faith may have removed mountains
somewhere a long time ago, but Just
now if we have any mountains to
remove we are going to look around
for steam-shovel.
Read less rot and more reason.
Most Of the current fiction would
make any old-time writer turn over
in his grave and rattle his bones at
the surrounding worms.
Women live longer than men be.
cause they do not drink, smoke, chew
and raise Helen Blazes half as much
as men do. But while they live long
er they do not live half as much.
Most of the small-town folk when
we go to New York have our picture
taken with the Woolworth building az
background, or else go around by
Niagara Falls and use that.
No matter how you look at it, OF
from what angle, there has nothing
even been discovered yet that is bet.
ter to tie to than the Fatherhood Of
God, the Brotherhood Of Man and the
Gospel of Sunshine. Even if there
is nothing much to it, as torpid-liv.
cred pessimists claim, it's gsod any.
how.
Civil service examinations for q
fourth-class postoffice are to be held
in negihboring town soon. While
the examination will be non-partsar
and open toall who want the pob, i,
must be understood that all Republi
cans are eligible because Of the fac,
that climatic conditions make clos.
confinement for them injurious.
NEW COUNTY AGENT NAMED
The Board Of Directors Of the Har.
rison County Farm Bureau met and
appointed Carl Fritzche county agent
for this place in place Of C.. w
Hammans who has resigned. Mr.
Fritzsche comes from O'Brien county
and has been assistant county agen,
So. q