New-York tribune., 1920-07-12
Books

If we had what is known in the
School of journalism as nose for
news we might have come back from
SAM Francisco with a story more in
teresting than anything which hap
pened at the convention. The story
was too close to us. Just across the
aisle in the Pullman car Phalaria there
was an old lady. She seemed the old
est lady we ever saw. When the train
went over the Rockies she gasped for
breath, and in the desert country it was
necessary to keep ice bans on her fore
head. Every other minute her middle
aged granddaughter would ask, "How
are you feeling now?" until the old
lady would finally. snap out. "I'd feel
all right if you wouldn't keep plaguin
me every second!"
When peace was restored they would
talk about Methodist ministers whom
they both knew And SO we set our
travelling companion down as just an
old lady and went forward where there
seemed to be a chance of more excite
ment. They lifted her off the train in
Chicago and we went back to get a
suitcase we had left.
"That was pretty old lady you had,'
we said to the Pullman conductor.
eyes," he answered. "she was ninety
two years old. But she was a smart
old lady. I was talking to her the day
we came across the desert and she
said she'd been across it once before
sixty years ago. She said she went in
one of those covered wagons, and it was
a darn sight more comfortable than
the Phalaria. She's going back home
now for the first time, back to Virginia.
l suppose she's going back home to
die"
We felt sure that the last surmise
was solely on the authority of the con-
ductor himself. This was too spirite
an old lady to plan any adventure so
passive. Although we were not sharp
enough to gets her story Of the trip
across the desert, we were not blind
to some hint of her quality. One day
as we came through the Phalaria the
younger woman stopped us and said,
"My grandmother wants to know how
the nomination has come out"
We told her that Cox had been
chosen.
"Oh, she's heard that" said the
granddaughter, "but she wants to know
about the Vice President. She's very
much excited about it. She hates to
be cut off this way from everything
that's going on"
We we're startled into envy, for we
knew that when we reached ninety two
we would not be able to take the least
interest in the Democratic nomination
for Vice-President. No. not if we gave
up every bad habit from now on and
rose at z, bathed in cold water, took a
vigorous rub and ran twice around the
park. We could not make it. Worse
than that, when we faced the facts, we
had to confess that cigarettes, late
hours and deuces wild had made such
demands on the limited supply of in
terest and emotion which lies in us all
that at the age Of thirty-one we did
not and could not give single rip.
Henry Mencken was the author Of
what seemed to US the best line which
came from San Francisco. "Bryan
asked for Bread" he wrote. "and they
gave him three cheers"
On the twenty-third ballot at San
Francisco Kentucky and Missouri, COM
bined, cast one and half votes for
Irwin Cobb as the Democratic nominee
for President, This wss regarded as
joke and as an answer to another state
which had cast half \ vots for Ring
Lardner. And yet, In all seriousness,