The news scimitar. (Memphis, Tenn.) 1907-1926, 1920-01-07
THEHASKINLETTER
DOING BUSINESS IN WASHINGTON
BY FREDERIC, J. HASKIN.

WASHINGTON, Jan. Z. Did you
ever come to Washington in search of a
job, contract or some information?
Did you ever wander In the bewildering
corridors OF its numerous and scat
tered buildings? Did you ever sit pa
tiently 10 the anterooms OF its official
domg Were you ever passed, like the
proverbial buck, from one preoccupiel
gentleman to another, each OF whom
thought the other fellow was Just the
man you were looking for?
II so, you will be Interested in little
item which the United States govern
ment has published in its own news
paper, the United States Bulletin, en-
titled, like this brochure, Doing Bust
ness in Washington" and bearing the
suhhead Find out Who Does Things, ="
That indeed is suggestive line, The
| weary seeker after light often Won
ders who. Il anybody, does things.
Each Individual whom he approaches
on a given matter loudly protests his
complete innocence OF II, and suggests
that somebody else is the right man
This piece, in which the government
explains how it should be approached.
goes on to say In order to accom-
plish things in Washington. 1t is nee
| essary TO know only few people
| These must be the right people and
you must know them we'll"
! IL Is encouraging to know. that you
DO not require an extensive acquaint-
ance In the capital In order to accom-
plish anything there but the second
requirement Is bit Of damper You
| must know the right people, and know
them well. In a word you must have
good friends in high places At least
| that seems to be the Implication. 1t IL
rather more than suggested that what
yeu need is small but efficient pull.
The item goes on to say that cabinet
| members and bureau chiefs are the
keys to the departments, and that II
you know them, and presumably know
| them well, you are all right. The keys
| to the mysteries of congress are the
committee chairmen, II says. Cultivate
them and win their love, and you can
do business with congress.
| The way to the White House." ii
graphically adds lis to form an &C
| quaintance or friendship with one OF
| the cabinet members"
This Is all very wen and to some ex-
tent true But how many of us have
time or opportunity to cultivate these
undenably useful connections with per
sons In high places? The inventor who
| comes TO Washington with a model
| the manufacturer who wants some in
formation about his business, the news
| paper or magazine man looking for a
story. the chap who wants job or
| a GtllIhNi VI d uNlltill DI a. lulil
bulb, can not always get on billiard
playing, first name-usjng terms with
cabinet officers and committee chair
men, The visitor may not have time
for one thing, Ana what Il the cabinet
member who Is vital to his purpos9
does not happen to like him socially
and refuses to play dominoes with him
or TO go out to lunch with him?
THE way to rm friendship with
| a bureau chief" continues this com
pendulum OF inside dope, rs to do some
thing for him; make yourself Of service
| to HIM"
This is Illuminating, but again a tri-
file discouragng, II suggests that the
government departments are run on
the el-known principle that II you
| scratch my back viii scratch yours,
A bureau chief, II is rather more than
| implied. will do something for you II
you will do something for him, You
may he fully entitled. as an American
citizen, to what you want, but the sure
way TO get 1t is TO make yourself useful
| TO the bureau chief.
It must be admitted that this is a
method which often works in and out
OF the capital. But how is man with
only a few days to spare going to make
himself useful 10 a bureau chief? What
| for example. would n bureau chief APP
preciate In the way Of service? To the
average mortal the tastes and predilec-
tons Of bureau chiefs are bit obscure
Should one send him pair OF silk
socks, offer him cigar or take him
for ride around the speedway? Sure
ly. 1t would be unethcal for a seeker
| after legitimate business information
| to offer a bureau chief anything very
! substantial, suggestive OF persona
| emolument for the discharge OF officia
duty, otherwise known as graft. How
then is the bureau chief to be served
and tickled without compromising hin
or offending his good taste? Ii is q
question.
one can not help wondering whether
the writer OF this government article
has not taken at least partly a wronf
point o. view. Surely an American
citizen who wants some legitimate SER
vice or information from his govern
ment ought to be able to get II without
cultivating social connections in Off
cial circles. making himself useful anc
lrendering services, Not that he should
not do all these things II he can ant
wants TO. And not that they won
help human nature being what II Is
But he certainly shouldn't have TO d.
these things in order to get any con
sderatun And the man who Is not II
a position TO cultivate friendships will
cabinet officers and do useful thing
for bureau chiefs ought not 20 be at
disadvantage as compared with tn
man who has the time or the ability 4
do so,
The article In the government news
paper does not say what II means D.
doing business" Perhaps II you arr
after some distinctly personal prefer
lment some luscious slice OF politlea
pie in the way Of soft job or profit