The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-01-07
MEN, WOMEN
 AND THINGS


 
 On the other hand, I have heard some of my friends in a moment of contri- ton say:' "oh, made perfect goose of myseIf!' I daresay that all of us could do likewise if we were minded to make clean breast by owning up to some folly committed.
 With such facts before us it might be in order to suggest that if those en- gagged in raising geese on large scale house them in what they call goosery (now, this is a perfectly good word, it not afford relief to society if some philanthropist would endow. goosery for silly geese?" There are whole lot of people who are not criminals and therefore should not be imprisoned, just as there are many who while a bit off in their upper story are not dangerous enough to re- kquire confinement in an asylum; yet we all know there are quite few who, escaping idiocy, yet on account of their I extreme stiffness should be detained in 1 a goosery. (After reading this I guess you will think I ought to have first choice at the rooms).
 am not straining the meaning of the word, for while the dictionary says, "it is place for keeping geese" lit also sets under it. Silly conduct; foo1ishness,D and-if this be true defi- hilton, l think I have made out my case for. the need of the establishment of Esuch a retreat for society's protection against the geese and ganders which linflict it.
 I We all know that "goosey,1 the di- minutive for goose, has passed current for blockhead. Frederick Locker. in leA Nice Correspondent" has this illum- linating line: The master (hs bride was a gooseyD reminds me of you But I think this is being little hard on brides and grooms, for if any two people ought to be allowed to make geese of themselves for awhile, young married couples on their honeymoon ought to be permitted to cackle to their hearts content (provided they do it in private).
 l call on the dictionaries again for support, for one of the best of them defines goose as "a silly. foolish per son: a simpleton: in allusion to the sup posed stupidity of the domestic goose, inferred from it's somewhat clumsy ap- pearance and notions Of course, Shakespeare, who saw everything, had to take his fling at the ganders of his day, and so we read in AS You Like It'': "A puny filter. that spurs his horse but on one side, breaks his staff like a noble goose" And in Henry Iv Lady P. tells Hotspur GO, ye giddy goose"
 But the biggest literary surprise cropped out in Thackeray, where one oi his characters makes a curious admis- sion gor 8 heroine because she "called herself little goose in the simplest , manner possible.' I think, however , about the hardest thing I discovered ii any quotation was from the Tenants of Mallory" where this scathing indict- ment was charged against one of tht men: Some people thought him : goose, and some only bore" | I have poked fun at silly weddins ! couples; let Shakespeare jibe at tn, hnr n cIi af
 given the cynical Thackeraf opportunit \ to give one of his women chance tt r score on herself, heard Le Fanu hitci , up goose and a bore; but I must no 3 quit without giving Dinah M. Craik tt . take off a class which needs to b,
 taken down a peg: T have seen nor , than one creditable, well-canaged fam : fly, recognized that it's master was r mere goose. happy if only a goose" e I suppose by this, time some of yo, are wondering why I hassa't pitche, into giggling school girls and dudisl tlyouths. I forbore for two reasons I First, didn't have the heart, for low them in spite of their stiffness, know ing that they were but passing througl the gosling stage. and that in the en s they would outgrow it. Second becaus 8 ieVery 1ellOW way QOWn In hfS hear hearkens back to his own callow yout
 and therefore is willing to forgive muc . in the lads and lassies yet ia their pi T feathers
 l It's a lucky boy who gets throug the public school without having bee given nickname. I remember one la who in growing up was very tall an Q skinny and his comrades dubbed hir a L"Bony." and in his young manhood h
 became we'll rounded out >and quit :, handsome, and now in his middle az is rather corpulent, yet the name .ha i. chung to him through all the years. an
 every one knows him as 'Bony." s nickname sticketh frequently close . than a brother.
 On the other hand. many of tn
 worlds great and best beloved hay
 come down through history with sobri z quets clinging to them which endea . lthem to us, for we know they were .wo
 on account of the love of those <wh o knew them best. either in war or peac, n Any one can call up a score, but jus { because he hapepns at the present t loom so large in the public eye andsbe . cause he was recently our guest, an X therefore we can share to a degree i d his career. I merely refer to .Blac 7 I Jack" Pershing.
 History, however, records some name e (which put bad taste in our moutl g Even those who wore them have lon s since passed to their reward good c !. Ievil. But I'll not weary you now by re