The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1920-01-06
ON SECOND THOUGHT
BY JAY E. HOUSE.
(From Philadelphia Public Ledges.l


readers of the column Is We recall TO
them the fact that yesterday was the
centenary of Mrs E. d. E.NN. South
worth. Mrs. Southworth's was the
gentle hand which wrote seventy nov
els and encompassed the death or
more-than 200 arch villains. For rea-
sons now inconceivable, she perse-
cuted approximately SOC heroes and
heroineA thru interminable pages lt
is likely that Mrs. Southworth held
/ the all-tine mortuary record In the
matter of inducing precipitation she
has been surpassed by very few writ
ing ladies.
One of these, however. was ouI. own
Mary J. Holmes More moisture de-
seconded during Mrs. Holiness incum-
bency of American letters than in, any
other stated period subsequent to the
flood We once made hasty COM
putation which disclosed the fact that
the tearfall for Tempest and sun
shine" alone was 4O.76 inches a>year.
Lena Rivers Jagged almost imper-
ceptibly behind, with an annual aver
age of 39.46 inches If Mrs. South
worth was the queen of the killers,
Mrs. Holmes was the princess of the
lachrymal glands.
Not all of the bad English gets into
the newspapers. The column finds IL
I has spirited competition in Dear Bru-
tus,' written by the impeccable Mt.
Barrie and played, in large part, by
the dilatory but suave and artistically
efficient Mr.. Gillette. The locution,
You was" occurs twice in the course
of Dear Brutus's' gently, meander-
ing three acts.
| Such casual observations as we were
able to take convince us that fewer
| cocktail shakers were given this wear
thap ever before in the history OF
/ Mythology.
In correcting a misquotation from
| the a Declaration of Independence
which appeared recently in the
| column, G. w. d. directs our attention
to another of the famous jokes in that
! of Independence" writes G.. W. D.,
l"declar@s men are created equal, ana
/ not free and equal. as you put It 1t
also says, they are inalienablys en-
titled to life. liberty and the pursuie
of happiness. What it should have
said, in order to conform to the CON
struction generally placed upon it, is
| that men are created equal and IN
alienably entitled to life, liberty and
the pursuit of other peoples happi-
ness"
! Looking out with somewhat more
| than casual interest upon the building
| in which the Declaration of Inderen-
|
| ion that whatever may have been the
intent of the founders. G. w. d. has
| the correct dope" on his countrymen.
| To us the regrettable thing in con-
nection with the, separation of the
packers from their grocery business
! is that it forced upon the Hon. Francis
]. Heney more of the publicity which
he so despises. knowing the Hon.
| Mr. Heney'S aversion to that sort OF
IL, laaf 1,o i1ff w
from the public service seriously dis
| turbs US.
We, therefore, make, to newspapers
and publicists, the suggestion that the
Hon. Mr. Heney's name be not inter-
| polAted in future discussions of topics
fconcerping the common veal.
We were "A trifle boastful Of the
| fact that Christmas brought us
F., Bronx cocktail until we had compared
/ notes with the barber gentleman who
shaved us. The barber gentleman had
a quart of Scotch and bottle of wine.
! beside which a cocktail or two seem
| trivial AMI insignificant.
The question as to whether a thing
| is moral issue depends largely upon
the distance backward one travels for
his standards.
The telegraph notes that the presi-
dent ate a heary dinner. but neglects
to say what he got for Christmas. And.
inasmuch as the public never has been
advised as to whether the president
wears nightshirts or ,Jtaj amas. a guess
would be mere conjecture. However.
while the president dates back to the
nightshirt era. hi bears the outward
aspects of one who affects the pajama.
1t is we take the liberty of addinr.
intimate discussion of the more deli
cate details of a great mans idiosyn-
crecfes that makes the whole world
KIM
That Robert w. Chambers has dedi-
Gated a book to Edward J. Bowes and
Margaret Ellington Bowes is not, in it
! self raw material from which a col
umnist may mold within wham. Tho
value of the incident lies in the fact
that il sets us to prospecting the REM
iniscent vein.
Mrs. Bowes, we seem to RECALL, Is
the enhancing and gifted young
woman who married in order to
achieve domesticity. Since then Co.
900 600 or 7600G.000 people have been
wondering whether SHE attained II.
Such curiosity is entirely natural. A
longing Tor domesticfty has come. in
late years, to be one Of the most in
FREQUENT of reasons for marrying.
Ho,,cehoH Hints