Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1920-10-24

Houses and apartments in
Washington are timid as oyS-
ters in restaurant consomme.
Misery loves company and she isn't
going TO be lonesome this winter.
Nice one closet and sleeping porch
fiat in desirable section overlooking
the city dump brings de luxe figure.
Dumb walters are not included, as all
odors come with the landscape.
Fashionable cliff dwellings along the
palisades of the Potomac would rent
like safety deposit vaults. Five dol
lars square foot.
There is hardly enough room lett
in D. c. to get indignant in.
Jack Barleycorn used to be an an
tidote for Jack Frost. but now the
rent commission writes its own pre-
scriptions.
Coal is another family cosmetic
which Congress didn't prohibit. Dut
which some one else has Burning the
mortgage is a cool way to keep warm.
After the third deed of trust is
cinder, the old home is good tor
nothing except a cold storage Joint.
Loose wall paper. which mural eff
feet has been adopted in some OF our
most refined novels. will be looser
the housewiffs will use 1T to neat
the curling iron or the baby's milk, as
the occasion may demand.
Winter Doesn't Annoy Eskimo.
In the Arctic circle, where they
don't have any houses. the papa Es-
kimo can tell the landlord what ne
thinks of him, cause they don nave
any landlords. Tax dodgers In the
land of the polar bear lVe III snoM
hi II -
bit colder than "a pack OF US are go
ing to be in Washington during the
approaching democratic winter.
SO long as it SHOWS in the behrlns
strait everybody will have IA roof over
his head, but if it doesn't snow tne
denizens have to dangie OUT M she
wide, wide world. Gumdrops IN ASH
inston sell for a nickel quart. out
in Sitka they are quoted on the SIock
exchange at four bits a hunk. Eacn
drop contains enough calorles TO hoa,
the league of nations TO that Wen
known port from Whlch no
ever returneth.
Rent and coal are no; the onliest
spines in the prickly pear. The giant
cactus cost of midget living Is dou-
bled up into more knots than pre-
war pretZel. Between the traction
dukes and the L. G. {. the manly ART
of walking has become a virtue. They
can't slap a luxury tax on at-dog-
ging it to and from work. but they 90
slap the bunion poultice on you Wheh
you go to buy set of new dogs.
Nursery Rhyme Confirmed.
One look at the price of shoe limo
leum and you begin to believe tnat
yarn about the COW jumping over tne
moon. The amusement bonus is ADD
ed for the ecstasy of hearing the shoe
monarch quote prices. He talks IKE
q n adding machine running IN nlRn-
But the baby who lives in Petworth
and works in Arlington county can't
battle the cost of leather ana the
street car gazaboos both at the same
time He wrestles 'em each at once
He rides to work to avoid getting
gyped for being late and he walks
home to avoid rolling pins. potato
Washers, cold biscuits and other brio
IA -brac Nothing risked. nothing
saved, as the fly exclaimed as he
parked his elbows on the tanglefoot.
Street car fare is only a habit any
way. When Christopher Columbus in
vented Americans he intended US to
have the same street car fares that
they had in his home town of Venice.
We've got the water. but we haven't
got the gondolas.
Water power is our greatest ma
tional resource. according to the
eighteenth codicil Statistics prove
that 5000 900 900 chasers tumble over
Great Falls every time the cuckoo
buzzes twelve. This is national
scandal. Those chasers should have
something to chase. If they can't do
do, why not drop yeast into EN- and
make electric current?
niagara Falls 81 Total LOSS.
Since Congress annulled the face
value of Niagara Falls and the Royal
Gorge, sdiverting them from their nat