davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-04-07
UNDERWOOD AND FARMERS

Perry county to teach the farmers hoy to raise tobacco on the orangeberg soil of that county. As congressman h.
 many times had fruit culture expert l and soil demonstration employees of tn agricultural department aiding tn farmers of his district Jefferson county was the first full free deliver. county system of rural free deliver. esta blished in the south. MT. Under 1 wood was one of the leaders in Con g-ress of the farm loan bank idea H has long been an active supporter o
 this system, now in full operation fo
 the benefit of farmers. Who is so ig norant of the services of Alabama public men as not to know that Sena
 tor Underwood has been one of tn able and energetic champions of tn
 Muscle Shoals development project b which cheap fertilizers may be manu factured in time of peace and explo sives in time of war? The Muscl. Shoals project in the development O which he took so conspicuous a part along with Senator Bankhead and Con gressman Dent, represents an immens,
 stroke for the special benefit of tn. farmers of Alabama and the south. or course. it is to be assumed that be
 fore the measure. for the special ben eft of farmers were taken by Congres,
 and the department of agriculture, MT
 Musgrove was consulted" But who
 ever it was that gave the advice t, Washington powers, the advice wa taken and the farmers received the ben effts.
 The Stars sneering alfuston tp Sena,
 tor whose causs ft adv
 coated in 1914, when he was the sam,
 man that he is today, with the sam.
 Kind of record-sin connection witt serving big business"-tr,1ly a falls.
 innuendo-it is to be remembered tha
 "big business" fought his tariff bil
 at every turn. Steel and iron interest. him and endeavored to intimidate hi
 in the course of his construction of tl
 tariff bill. Perhaps the iron interest lof Anniston have been none too wei
 pleased with provisions of the Under
 wood tariff bill. His notable servic,
 in the cause of currency reform, whici
 came about with the passage of thu
 Giass-owen bill. was not loudly ap
 plauded by "big business
 Nevertheless MT. Musgrove has spen lots of money for the cause of prohibi
 ton and for that reason ought to bs called to Underwoods seat in the Sen. ate
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-04-07

 From the Kansas City Times.
 6THERE can be little wonder that a
 suffering Germany turns back
 4 to Bismarck for inspiration on the anniversary of his birth. It is nat ural that the Pan German newspapers shoula long for another Bismarck to lead the nation.
 Yet the present plight of Germany is the direct outcome of his teachings and spirit.
 An l1nscrupulous but successful busi- ness man may demoralize a whole town by convincing it that money, obtained by whatever means possible, is the only thing in life worth while. A suc- cessful cynic in politics may do a city infinite harm by glorifying rotten po- lftical methods Sc great and power ful statesman like Bismarck may give a nation false and ruinous ideals.
 Bismarck held there was no such thing as international morality. Any thing that helped Germany was right. According to the same philosophy the pirate would be justified by success. War he regarded as simply an instru- ment of diplomacy Get what you want by peaceful means so long as peaceful means serve, was his motto. When they fail, resort to arms; only be sure you are stronger than your adversary.
 In his Memoirs" he boasts of over coming the scruples of the king against the raid on Denmark by urgings that every one of the kings ancestors had added something to the territory of
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-04-07

If the British embassy is well sup rlled with liquid refreshments, there is To reason why 1t shouldn't bear up eheerfully under the piciSeting of fe male sympathizers with Ireland.
 # * #
 Ambassador Martens discovery that he is not welcome in America is somewhat belated. There are people who can't take hint unless it is strong esough to knock them down.
 & <
 The Armenians offer valid excuse for mandate over Turkey. not to men ton other nationalities who have suf- fered at the Turks hands.
 * * x
 MT. Wilson will find rest and relax ation at Woods Hole. What do the eminent medical gentlemen think about the prospects, for little golf? As between Maeterlinck and Carpen- ter the plaudits of the crowd go to carpentier. The bluebird means noth- ing in particular to the hoi polloi.
 * # *
 New York landlords have lost their first bout with tenants, but the aver age landlord usually has more than one card to play.
 In wishing Europa to "shinny her own side" "Marse Henry wa:sersop :hould call particula~ attention 10 the spelling of that word.
 E < x
 New Workers in tho Easter parade are said to have been as "gaudy as barher poles" whi,l Is about the limit O. sartorial violence.
 + # # The statement that Hoover is too sood for the republican party will not he relished by him if it alienates the support of the rock-ribbed brethren.
 < # *
 Before reopening hostilities with Germany, France should stop to con s:der that Uncle sam is about through Financing European fracases I < < < Protests against the high cost of pills are being made. The remedy for the kieh cost of pills is plenty of exercise. 1 < # x 1 It is the ambition of every presiden- tial candidate to be able to say, FIX cuse my dust"
 *
 Mir McAdoo has Mithd-awn from the motion picture fiel5 without having starred in a single photoplay.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-04-07
LUKE McLUkE SAYS

What has become of the o. f. man who was prosperous and saved money on a $50 month salary?
 Women use more soap and water than men. They have to. They expose more of their epidermis.
 A man has to have fifteen or twenty dollars when he goes shopping. But all a woman needs is car fare.
 Every girl who reads that nine out of ten girls are knock-kneed will stand on a chair in front of her mirror and give her props the once-over and feel thankful. that she is the Tenth girl.
 We are glad to see in the fashion dope that the waistiine is to be right above the hips this summer. We are tired of seeing it just under the arms and just below the tummy.
 A girl is So proud of her silk petticoat that she gets terribly embarrassed if it shows below the hem of her skirt.
 A Bully gets by in this world because other men are polite to man they know will fight.
 Many young husband doesn't discover that his wife has a mustache until two months after he is married.
 It is easy to tell single couples from married couples. The male end of the single couple acts like She might get away from him. The male end of the married couple acts like he might not be able to get away from Her
 A Bride is led to the altar about the same way a driver leads the horse that is running away with him.
 Why. does girl make a fool of herself over man when if is easy for her to make a fool of him?
 And if the girls would hide other things the way they hide their ears, they sure would be mysteries.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-04-07
THE DEMORALIZING BISMARCK

lying the Ems dispatch in such wal
 as to provoke the French to war N
 This immoral doctrine of national
 success was sanctified to the German
 people by it's dazzling results. The protests of moralists were swept away
 by the outcome of Bismarckian policy
 The creed of Bismarck cahe to be gem orally accepted in Germany. Ten years before the war. Prof. Eduard Meyer
 one of the most distinguished scholars in Germany, made a convocation ad- dress at the University of Chicago. 4 ert A Millikan, wrote to friend thai if the platform had been so far re moved that the audience could not d1e- tinguish between wolf skin and 2 frock coat, it might have thought il was listening to Atilla the Hun, fol
 the address was simply glorificatior of cars of conquest
 So Roosevelt, meeting the Kaiser ir 1910, wrote to friend that they wholi5 disagreed on what constituted inter national morality. as was natural. since one of them had been brought up tt regard Hampden and Washington ant Lincoln as his heroes, while the othei looked to Frederick the Great and Bis marck.
 It will be fortunate for Germany | the ruthless immortality of Bismarck Z creed becomes associated with shan ' and suffering and misery. Only whe his unsociaI doctrines lose their holc
 on the people can they build stsstt that will take an enduring place in ths
 v,oda~, rvorld
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-04-07

From the Montgomery Advertiser. 61HE esteemed Anniston Star m
 the enthusiasm of the moment
 0 it is charitable to remark gains it's consent to say.
 Mir Underwood is conspicuous e1- ample of the typical city politician, one os those great national characters" who are always too busy serving DIE bnssinass to heed the appeal of the man with the hoe. This largely accodnts for the fact that the farmers of the state have indorsed his opponent Mr. Mus grove. who is practical farmer; who has given thousands of dollars out or his own pocket for the development of the farming interests of his county ana who is often consulted on farm topics bv the United States department of az riculture."
 Of course, it is not true that the farmers of the state have indorsed' MT, Underwood's opponent or opponents. The last time the farmers of Alabama passed on MT. Underwood's record was April 6. 1914, when they indorsed him by an overwhelming vote. They have taken no action since. A small band of farmers belonging to an organlza- ton have indorsed MT. Musgrove. But it reouires the observation of no ex- pert to see that MT. Underwood will probably receive a larger percentage of farmer votes this year before
 Senator Underwood will doubtless be glad to compare his record as supporter of agricultural interests in Congress with any member of that body. Here is a brief resume of part of the services rendered agricultural interests by Sen ator Underwood since first going to Congress:
 First. he was the chief author and the ablest defender of the greatest tariff bill passed by Congress since the Walker tariff of 1S4s. The Under wood tariff bilrs free list contains ag- ricultural implements and fence wire. banging and ties. free lumber. laths and shingles, and sewing machines, salt. leather, shoes and meats. Farm CTS are interested in these items.
 As congressman he was 8 conspicuous and effective advocate of the bill pro- viding for development of irrigation projects for the agricultural interests of the arid west. He was among the first to advocate federal Investigation of soils.
 The first soil survey ever made in Alatama was secured by him for Perry county, and his old district, the Ninth. many. years ago had soil survey conn pleted and published in every county in the district Fifteen years ago he secured the establishment of the gov ernment experiment station at Union- town, demonstrating to the farmers how alfalfa and hogs could be raised on our black belt lands as profitably and successfully as could the cotton crop. It was at his instance that the government maintained experts in
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-04-07
ADRIF'T WITH THE TIMES
PEss1M1sM PLUS

PEssIMIsM PLUS The gay. light-hearted citizen We met in days of yore, Who talked about the weather or The latest baseball score, And had but little on his mind To fill his heart with woe, Has ceased to radiate good cheer As in the long ago. Instead we hear but loud laments And Nominations blue About the cost of living and The profiteering crew. The optimistic brother has Forgotten how to smile; When every prospect ought to please It only seems to rifle.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-04-07
Baptist Day

Its to be kind of Baptist day at the Rotary luncheon today" said Perry Fowlkes, "as the famous home board quartet will sing, and Dr. H. L. Winburn, one of the most eloquent Baptist preachers in the country, is set for talk. Last week the club had the pleasure of hearing pr. John F. White. I congratulate the programme committee on using the distinguished visitors who are here in the city en- gagged in the great simultaneous Bap- 'tist programmed"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-04-07
WHAT'S SID A DAY

From the Galveston Tribune.
 From Denver comes the information that carpenters in that city will, after April 1, demand S0 for an eight-hour days work, an increase of $2 the day. Why are the Denver carpenters so mod est?- They have largely aided in bring ing building. operations throughout the nation to standstil, and while there is nc building being done. the carpenters may just as well demand s2o or $50 a day,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-04-07
Convinced That Cotton
 Growers Will Back Hin

lM)( or many men appointed to the V United States Senate to fill a short term attract attention or achieve anything worth while, but not so in Senator Comer's case. He had hardly taken his seat when the members of the Senate began to take notice. He had something of prime importance to propose-an amend nlent to the agricultural appropria- tion bill relative to cotton deliveries.
 He knows the cotton exchange game up one side and down the other, and he will spare no effort to have his measure retained in the bill.
 As The Age-Herald's correspond ent tells us, the senator is now nak- ing his fight single handed, but he is seeking to marshal the cotton growers of the entire belt. To this end he is sending out the speech he made Saturday, assailing the activi- ties of E. A. Calvin, Washington rep resentative of the Cotton States Ad- visory Marketing Board.
 "Mr. Calvin" says the correspond ent, 'had undertaken to advise against the Conner delivery amend ment, but telegrams received by the Alabama senator show that MT. Call win does not represent his board in this instance"
 l Senator Conner has reason to be- lieve that cotton farmers are becom- ing aroused to the fact that under his amendment cotton exchanges twill be unable to beat down the price ] of the staple by rendering dog tail and unspinnable cotton when demands are made for delivery"
 The House and Senate will be- show cred with telegrams urging the re- tention of the amendment.
 Senator Conner is both a spinner and cotton grower. He is not only an authority at every angle, but he is convincing speaker on his feet. That he will win in his contention seems assured. He surely will if the south wakes up.
 < # x
 If Japan and China are about to reach an amieable agreement regard
 ing shantung. it is merely another ex- ample of the Jap's ability to hornswog- gle the Chinese and make them feel Happy over it.
 It is claimed by his supporters that if General Wood were elected President the red menace would cease to exist There are other and perhaps more inn rortant problems facing the country.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-04-07
UTTER SILENCE

From the Home Sector.
 ''The sounds of battle have been stilled these many months" acclaimed the ora tor. "No longer do the. shells shriek, the bullets whistle. the machine guns spit out the rat-tat4tat,'
 And you might ada interposed the ex-soldier that our peace-time slumbers are not exactly disturbed by the popping of corks'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-04-07
THE ORIGIN OF KELLY FOOL

THE ohfGAN oF KELLY POOL Fredrick O'Brien, in the New York Even
 ing Sun
 Sir: The Kelly for whom the pool game was named was not a hat. He was largish. strong-willed of running that kind of game in Hannah and Hoggrs Madison street saloon opposite Mcvicker and next door to Jacks theatre in Chi .cago.
 As many as ten could play, and each paid a quarter for the privilege. He lacking 10 per cent. which Kelly mulcted him. The game began about noon every day and lasted until early morning. In the sos. when my reportorial assign ment afforded leisure, I dallied with Mr. Kelly's game, and often ate at Hinky abcunded, and literary man had no show
 Also two experts played in with> each other, and when their balls-priority balls permitted, one fixed an easy shot for the other Mir. Kelly made $15 or SO a day. but had to pay the saloon men either a percentage or rent Kelly was very proud of his inyention-he discovered the game he said, while musing in church--and only allowed well dressed men to play. To be permitted to take a cue in MT Keny's game gave one standing in Han nah and Hogg's who by the way. had more than a dozen saloons in Chicago
 
 were Scotch, and sold an excellent bar brand of Highland dew at ten a throw. watched you
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-04-07
CHANGE TO GET RICH

From the Albany Journal
 Somebody could make fortune by go- ing into bueiness to sell those moderate priced goods which dealers say the people dc not want
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-04-07
SUSPENDED ANIMATION

From the Houston Post
 MT. Bryan says the saloon is as dead as slavery. The difference being. how ever. that it is not necessary in the case of slavery to sit up with the corpse to see if it is merely suffering an attack of cata- 1eDSy
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-04-07
LAPS WE'RE MISTAKEN
the Wasbington Star

From the Washington Star
 The defeat of the league of nations leads Senator Williams Of Mississippi to refer to the present time as the period of the great conspiracy. This will bs dis couraging to the Japanese who. on the installation of the present mikado, pro claimed an era of great righteouness.' I
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-04-07
BEST TO CoxE

By Browning.
 Grow old with me. The best is yet to be, The last of life for which the first va made:
 Our times are in His hand Who saith. "A whole I planned Youth sees but half: trust God: sec al] nor be afraid"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-04-07
STILL IN USE

T understand simpiified spelling has heen abandoned"
 Not entirely said Mir Jibway. 'No?"
 q happened to glance over a compo- s;tion my young son wrote last night on the Boston tea party"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-04-07
GOING TO GREAT LENGTHS

GUING TO GREAT LI.NGIFfS Our classic dancer as a concession to the straight-laced people of this community. will wear an extra yard or two of veirng.p said the manager.
 Do you call that a concession?"
 Tt is if you happen to have the soul of an artist"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-04-07
Farmers for Underwood

A. T. Bennett of Ethelville, Pickens county. who was visitor in the city 2 day or two ago, was bubbling over with enthusiasm for Senator Under W ood and said:
 You may stamp as being without foundation the report that the rural sections of the state are against Sen ator Underwood Pickens county will roll about 1,7O0 votes in the coming rrinaFy, and of this number Senator Underwood will get at least 1,500 I am in pretty Close touch with Tusca- ioosa county also, and it seems to me certain that Tuscaloosa will give Un- derwood majority over both of his opponents. The farming sections of the state are outspoken and emphatic Tn their approval of the senator's rec ord and vii manifest their approval by their votes when the time comes"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-04-07
Alabama Furnished Army With Famous Officers

TT HE retirement of Maj. Gen. w..
 4 L. Sibert from active service in the army recalls the fact that Ala bama has furnished the regular es- tablishment with a greater number of eminent officers than any other southern state.
 Four have become famous. Maj. Gen. W. c. Gorgas, born in Mobile, made the building of the Panama canal possible by making the canal zone immune from yellow fever by driving out mosquitoes. He after wards achieved international fame. General Sibert, born in Gadsden, was the engineer in charge of the con struction of the Gatun locks and dam, and had been in charge of important engineering feats before and after Ills IdHdIid SApSIlSuCS. WI. OiAe's~~ Harding, a brother of w. F. G.. Harding of Birmingham, was oromi- nent as an army engineer, while yet young man and played conspicuous part in the construction of the Pan- anna canal. Colonel Harding was born in Mississippi, but came early to Alabama, and was appointed to West Point from this state. And last but not least is Lieut.. Gen. Robert Lee Bullard, native of Youngsboro, Ala. He graduated from West Point in 1885. He saw service in Cuba and in the great world war commanded the First di- vision of the American expeditionary army. He had splendid record in France.
 Other states boast of sons distin- guished for their army careers, but Alabama is perhaps the only one in a single generation that has devel- oped as many as four who have risen to pre-eminent reputation.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-04-07
Low Visibility

Birmingham is a~fine city, says C. F. Sharpe of Ashland, Ala.s T like living in city that boasts such ac- tivity. I say all this because I believe 1t and because I don't want anyone to think I am knocking the city when I say another thing that I feel like say
 ing. That other thing is this: I wish the names of Birmingham streets were posted. so that there would be some possibility of stranger finding his way, without having to buttonhole a policeman at every corner. The prac- tical and efficient way in which the streets are named and numbered would make it impossible for the greenest greenhorn to get lost. were those names and numbers posted. But they are not"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-04-07
FEW CALLERS

What are you doing now, samT'
 'I'se porterin', sah, in big office buildin'."
 But where's your uniform?''
 Tse doin' night porterin', sah. Dey ain't no social side to dat kind of work. I makes out jes' as well in overalls.p PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-04-07
PASSING OF SIMPLER SPELLING

From the New York World
 Quite inconspicuously in the World of
 last Thursday the news was printed that
 the Modern Language Association of
 America had given up simplihed spelling
 This is not quite the beginning of the end
 Of a movement. It merely reminds; us of
 the continuous ill-success of an agitation
 which no longer ago than the year 1906 vas financed by Andrew Carnegie and
 indorsed, without being greatly followed, by Theodore Roosevelt. Simplified spell
 ing caught a few editors. few scholars
 and a few faddists It impressed the run
 of plain people very little and has left on the language practically no impress. The orthographic reform wave of 1906 has followed the course of it's predecessor of 1S49 and of like movements of still ear Ter dates. If there shall be a similar pu- rising in 1856 or thereabouts, there will be the same outcome in futility,~ For d
 great language is not changed in it's ways or hastened in it's development by the propaganda of wiseacres, by a>strike of Iexlcographers or by constitutional amendment. Tongues obey a common law of evolution, law unhurried and sure iE it's operation. Commenting on the spelling reform splurge of 1908, the World was able to cutie, with reference to a sixteenth century edition of Sir Thomas More's Utopia" changes in form within S5Q years for about third of the words or three examined pages.
 Artemus Ward, Josh Billings and other htmorists have misspelied English for the fun of it The advocates of siinplified spelling turned the joke on themselves
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-04-07
A NATION OF spENpERs

DO you subscribe to the humorous saying, Be good and you'll be lone soms2"
 You can get the same results now adays," said the economist by merely being thrifty"