The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1920-02-05

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after all. 1t seems to benefit US very
little on this particular earth.
q q q
January White Sales came to a
close Saturday night. The lingerie
displays in the windows wese beauti-
full and proved that the exhibition on
animate models were for the most
part correct in style and wonderfully
well set off.
An Oxford Assyriologist-that's an
expert on Assyria, not an Equus Ash
nus speciaJist--has found from ancient
tablets that Mother Eva was not re-
sponsible for the fall Of man. We
have always contended that Adam was
. blooming liar.
II this country is to have capital
to replace that destroyed in the war
1t will have to learn that Federal
Reserve Notes secured by Liberty
Bond Issues-all debts-are not CAPT
tai, and that the only way to create
capital is to work and save.
A man stepped up to the bank win
dow to borrow few hundred dollars.
The banker did not seem to be inter-
ested until he spied bits Of egg in the
mans whiskers. "Sure. Well be glad
to make the loan" said the banker,
"and you may have thousand if you
need it,"
The Chicago woman, demanding q
divorce because her husband Is pay
ing for an expensive monument for
MS first wife, while the only testi
nonial Of affection she has received
s a set of false teeth, should have a
,etter philosophy Of life. Wife No.
will undoubtedly get = great deal
more satisfaction out of her false
eeth than No. l will get from her
A certain Boise man had bad
ase Of belly ache the other day and
net two of his friends, a chiropodist
nd an eye, ear, nose and throat spec
alist He told them Of his complaint
nd asked their advice. you're clear
nut of our localities" said the corn
octor. 'Im too low down for you,
nd my friend here is too high up.
We can do nothing for.yo What you
yant is a middleman."
1t was the week before little Willie's
irthday and he was on his knees at
is bedside petitioning Divine Provi-
ence for presents in a very loud
dice. please send me-" he shouted,
a bicycle, a tool chest, a---"
What are you praying so loud fort"
is younger brother interrupted. "God
int deaf" II know he amt" said
tile Willie, winking towards the next
Dom, "but grandma is"
. . q
Like lift, sir?" asked the coun-
lyman civiuy as he overlook foot
'orn traveller on the dusty road. AS
icy logged along they chatted about
Il sorts of things. Presently the
ID countryman pulled out watch Of
lie turnip variety. "Csn zee tell me
lie tonne, sir?" he asked. Certain
:. 1t is exactly o'clock" replied
lie other, as he watched the country
an adjusting his watch. Then che
opped him. 81 said o'clock, not
}" he added. ooh, that be all right,
r." said the countryman as he slip
ID his timepiece into his pocket.
Ier'll soon make that OPP. Her be
wonderful goer."
1t was in the Argonne. A regiment 10
negro pioneers from Dixie who had at
EN- indicted into the service had nj
st received batch of mail. but NJ
ither jefferson Madison Monroe nor a,
5 particular side kick, Washington Cd
mes, was manifesting any great ella Of
IN. In fact, they both looked decid- sh
ly in the dumps. "Wash," mourncd so
fferson, "I'se the hard luckin'est
gger what was ever. | done just
I letter from nah girl and she's
ne and went and married another" NJ
IN man, mani" walled WasO "You tit
MT know what hard luck am. Me, II
It got letter from the draf' board nu
lat says I'm exempt" W W
. . 6 lIai
The prospective bride and bride ay
DOM arrived in farm wagon. After =
9 ceremony was duly performed, the
idegroom asked to be excused pust
moment and on returning from his
lgon he said; "PHrson, | have no
,ney to give you, but here is nice
,o.- ~.~aaNar for ponr