The Washington herald., 1920-05-09

Peayine. home comes our labor
Ing man and kicks UP Kicks. and
calls us to the streak Of bright
moonlight shining I'm the cabin
door. Then he spreads out nvs
Of one Thousand dollars
each on the floor. and begins 20
cackle over the nest-egg like a
hen.
"Tn tell you a few things
about that town says he. It's
named Rock Springs. and they're
building a Masonic temple. and
II looks like the Democratic can
didste for mayor IL. going to get
soaked by q Pop. and Judge
fuckers wife. who has been
down with pleurisy. is some bet
ter. I had a talk on these Iili-
putisn thesises before could
get a siphon in the fountain OF
knowledge that was after. And
there's a bank there called the
Lumberman's L Fidelity and PIow-
mans Savings Institution. Il
closed for business yesterday
with s23.oo0 cash on hand il
will open this morning with
$4,000 all silver - that's the
reason 1 didn't bring more. There
you are. trade and capital Now.
will you be badT
my young friend says Al
fred L Kicks, holding up his
hands. have you robbed this
bank? Dear me. dear me!
You couldn't call II that
says Bassett. "Robbing" sounds
harsh. All I had to do was to
fnd out what street It was on.
That town is so quiet that /
could stand on the corner and
hear the tumblers clicking in
that safe lock-"right to IS:
left twice to so: right once to
so: left to 15"-as plain as the
Yale captain giving orders in the
football dialect Now, boys says
Bassett. this is an early rising
town. They tell me the citizens
are all up and stirring mefore day
light. asked what for. and
they said because breakfast was
ready at that time
And what of merry Robin
Hood? 1t must be Yoicks! and
away with the tinkers' chorus.
I'll stake you. How much do
you want? Speak up. Capital
Ny dear young friend says
this ground squirrel of a Kicks,
standing on his hind legs and
juggling nuts in his paws. I
have friends in Denver who would
assist me. II ] had a hundred
dollars =
'Bassett unpins q package OF
currency and throws FIVE TWEEN
ties 10 Ricks.
Trade. how much?' he says
to me
Put your money UP. Labor.
says L 1 never yet drew upon
honest toll for its hard-earned
pittance- The dollars / get arc
surplus ones that are burning
the pockets of damfools and
greenhorns. When / stand on q
street corner and sell a solic
gold diamond ring to a yap fol
$500. i make just s2.6O. And
know he's going to give IL &C
a girl in return for all the bene.
fits accruing from a 3125 ring
His profits are sl22.50. Which oi
us is the biggest fakir?'
And when you sell a pool
woman q pinch of sand for fft,
cents to keep her lamp from eX
ploding,' says Bassett, what d.
you figure her gross earnings
to be. with sand at forty cent
a tom
Listen says L I instruc
her to keep her lamp clean ant
well filled. II she does that 4
can't burst And with the SAM
in it she knows 1t can't. and sh'
don't worry. It's q kind of In
dustrial Christian Science. Sh
pays nifty cents, and gets boil
Rockefeller and Mrs. Eddy on tn
job. 1t aint everybody that cal
let the gold-dust twins do thei
work
Alfred E. Kicks all but lick
the dust of of Bill Basset's shoes
My dear young friend say
he. I will never forget you
generosity. Heaven will rewar
you. But let me implore you {
turn from your ways of vioIenc
and crime
'Mousie.' says Bill. the hoI
in the wainscoting for your,
Your dogmas and inculcation
sound to me like the last word
of a bicycle pump. What hs
your high moral. elevator-servic
system OF pillage brought you to
Penuriousness and want Eve
Brother Peters. who insists upo
concentrating the art Of robber
with theories of commerce an
trade. admitted he was on th
lift. Both of you live by th
gilded rule. Brother Peters
says Bill. you'd better choose
slice of this embalmed currenc,
You're welcome
Il told Bill Bassett once mol
to put his money In his pocke
never had the respect fC
burglary that some people hav
always gave something for II
money l took. even II IL was onl
some little trife for a souven
to remind EN- note to get caugl
again.
And then Alfred L. Ricl
grovels at Bills feet again, an
bids us adieu. He says he wi
have q team at q farm, use, an
drive to the station below. ar
take the train for Denver.
salubrified the atmosphere whe
that lamentabIe boIl-wOrm too
his departure. He was a dii
grace to every non-industril
profession in the country. Wit
all his big schemes and fine o
fees he had wound up unab
even to get an honest meal e,
cept by the kindness OF a strant
and maybe unscrupulous burgla
I was glad to see him go, thouC