The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1920-03-20
Dates His Announcement of
GubernatOrial Platform
For April FOOLS Day
ASKS SUPPORT OF
STATE HOUSE GANG
Would Cover State With Network of
Brick Roads Without Paying for Them
Every Man Should Work If He Had To
-Favors Open Poll for Women

Every Man Should Work If He Had To
-Favors Open Poll for Women.
The Mortified News prints the fol
lowing in this week 5 issue
To The Editor of The News:
| am a candidate for governor of
Vermont and, like all the rest, / want
my platform understood of all men anC
] therefore feel impelled TO tell the PEG
pie what / viii promise in return for
their votes Now ! want to be per
fectly frank and four square about
this | do not want it understood that
] guarantee to do what / promise
am in favor of, any more than the rest
of the candidates. But what l prom
Use shows my competence and inge
nuity in angling for support, and if
my bait is just as toothsome as any
other kind then i claim the first bite
of every voter because my platform is
honest to-goodness- godness-agnes and
was not borrowed from the encyclope
dia
]. / am in favor of good weather
in haying and lowry weather for fish
ing.
2. ] think well of most of the ten
commandments, and with certain res
ervations would ratify them but would
insert the word "bottle' in lieu of the
word t'ass" in the fourth line of the
tenth commandment, duang such time
as the eighteenth amendment to the
constitution of the United States is in
force; thus removing from that price
less stone document any covert allu-
sion to a certain member of the pres
ent administration in Washington, if
such allusion was intended in the orig
inal draft of Article X. / am not sure
about this.
3. / believe in safe and sane set
Element of the labor question. / don I
know what that is, but my motion is
that every man should work if he has
to, and that the matter of compen
sation and hours should be left to the
rest of us to dispute about; then the
man who has TO work won have to
stop except to die. In a word this
whole labor question is summed up in
the aphorsm: ''To hell with the poor;
the rich can take care of themselves.
A. / strongly desire the support OF
all the friends of former governors and
the state house gang. | bid seratim
beginning with our latest governor and
90 back as far as ! can remember. ]
want everybody to have q license to
sell alcohol in all its forms, and / am
distinctly opposed to any ex-govcrn-
ors being punished for crime; | am in
favor of an open treasury, openly ar
rived at: | insist upon rough and rug
IL, In,
of building them; one of the greatest
needs of Vermont is the Fletcherizing
of the supreme court and a bull mar
ket in Wall street. Anyone who voted
for a governor before this has forgot
ten why he committed the offense.
5. | think there should be more
school teachers and better looking ones
and that the pay should depend en-
tirely upon the latter qualification
teach our boys and girls the shimmy
dance and how to wear over-shoe!
without buckling them on, and oul
men and women will take care o.
themselves.
g. l am strongly in favor of trunl
line highways, either of macadam
brick or cement construction with lat
eral lines all over the state so as t
serve all of our people and that thes,
roads shall be built without bondin:
or otherwise paying for them; if elec
ted l will use every effort to get Dr.
Stod Bates, b. B. b. s., Norwich Uni
versity 49, to complete the work mex
year.
7. / earnestly desire the open pol
for women, whether they want 1T o
not; a box of candy doesn't cost s
yet, thank God This will distinctl
bring down the cost of being governor
8. / am a firm advocate of a Leagu
of Notions especially for Vermont; j
elected | will appoint Marshall j. HaI
good of Peru general manager.
g. / would treat the returned sold
Ter, (and will do so if he will come t
my house 1t is verboten elsewhere.
But l would not forget the service t
humanity rendered by the various gol
clubs, Society Of Colonial Danes an
the Loyal Order of Moose.
10. | recommend a reduction in til
cost of living and an increase in tn
price Of everything the farmer pre-
duces and the merchant sells. TheS
checks and balances are imperativel
necessary if we are to keep the hear
of the world from breaking
H. State expenses should be n
money to build few more state a
mories at $4,000 per and have Il
books of the auditors office examine
by two sets of expert accountant
one at $1,000 per mot to be used) an
one at 5000 per for keeps This wi
prevent both petty and grand larcen
if done two or three times a year. III
armories come mighty handy for ba
ket ball and cotillion parties.
u. We should spend more none
for the education of the idiotic al
feeble minded children of the sta
and not so much for those who a
sound in body and mind and mig
make useful citizens of the state.
these forward looking days the sta
needs a really good breakfast food ]
stead of sanity or constructive cit
zenship.
13. The party's demand for mo
oh, n ho