The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-06-28
IRWIN COBB FEAss;3 ; J SUDDEN DEATH BY THE TAX|CAb ROUTE Says There Is a Bull Move ment In Rooms and Terri
 ble Fight on Wet
 Plank
Bv IRWIN S. COBB

by IRWIN .. JUDD San Francisco, June 27.- (Spccial) If these dispatches from the front should break off suddenly before the con- vention ends I wish to a--ll- the editor of this paper to fill out the space allotted to me through the week with pleas ing obituary notices.
 Should these messages quit coming through that will serve as sign that I am, alas no more.
 l would, therefore, take advantage of this opportunity to state that had a good disposition, was born demo- crat. served as war correspondent in Flanders and also through several Kentucky elections and enjoyed an ex cellent reputation up until the time I began reporting national conventions. Fuller details of the life of the de- SSoSOo eAio hHS hOul VI tnC 4uilClai will be supplied by the press associa- tioE.
 SAN FRANCISCO TAXICABS l try not to be morbid but something seems to tell me that if I am not killed in one of San Francisco's taxicabs I shall be killed under one of them.
 The youth who has been driving me about is a Ijrleal descendent of the late Ben- Hur and carries a picture of Bar ney Oldfield in his watch. He assures me he is a careful driver, but l am loath to believe this. because this morn- ing within the space of half mile he missed three pedestrains, although he practically undressed one of them. Yet with the proper care in aiming he should have destroyed all three of them utterly.
 There is nothing stand-offish or formal about the local taxicabbist Be- fore he has known you five minutes he is calling you, Hay Bill" and is chat ting generally with you over his shoui- ders as he goes careening about cor ners on one wheel or coasts down a steep hill at such rate of speed that you can feel the taxi slipping right out from under you.
 l call him taxicabbist to distinguish him more clearly from a taxidermist.
 
 others have killed. A taxicabbist pro- vides his own dead. I am becoming really attached to the youth who drives me. Sharing so many hair es- capes together has drawn us closer to each other. l only hope that after the dread summons comes it will be pos sible to tell us apart.
 SOME CONVENTION NEWS
 Pending extinction l might as well join the innumerable caravan of spe- cial writers who are telling the news as they find it, or as they make it up out of their. own heads. as the case may be, and generally is. At this mo ment chief interest appears to center in the platform. One of the most fool ish things about that incredibly fool ish and cumbersome feature of Ameri- can life which is called a national convention has to do with the platform, so o-called. Several thousand humid, ir- ritable gentlemen gather in a conven- ton town and worry themselves into a free father over the exact pharseology of this or that plank in the platform, when all the while they should know, if they know anything at all that through the campaign the voters at large won't care a hoot about it and that the party to which they belong probably will utterly ignore the pledges to which it stands committed in the event of victory in the general election to follow.
 It may be recalled that eight years ago a President was elected by the democrats on a platform favoring sim gle terms for President. That same President is now completing his sec ond term and in some quarters there is talk of nominating him a third
 WET PLANK ARGUMENT
 Take present situation. This eve ming. twelve hours before the conven- ton starts it's opening session. the prin- cipal argument is whether the resolu- tions should contain a wet plank or dry plank. or no plank at all touch ing on the prohibition question. The disputants are taking 1t with deadly seriousness, but to an onlOoker the whole thing resolves itself into mas todonic joke. If private poll of in- dividuals were taken it is safe to as-1 sume that 90 per cent of the delegates here assembled would favor greater or lesser modification of the present laws touching on beverages. And 1t is highly possible that. feeling personally as they do, they. nevertheless. will go on public record as indorsing the eighteenth amendment or that they will follow the courageous example set by the republicans at Chicago and all to- gether omit from their platform any direct mention of the one issue which is uppermost interest today in the minds of the American people gener- ally. Alongside of politicians. Guinea pigs are daredevi1s.
 ROOMS ARE BULLISH
 In booms I am able to report gem
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