davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1920-06-18
THINGS IN GENERAL.
Continued From First Column


bridge Colby recite "sweet Alice Ben Bolt would be
like a regular "Old Home Week"
There is old saying, "A carpet wife, and walnut
tree the harder you beat them the better they be-
Put revolution in place of WIFE" and the state
ment is true
The Bolsbevik government says it is deeply indebted
to the allies for encouraging Poland to fight Russia That
Boshevik government made its enemies peasants rich
people aid nteectuals that used to hate Bolshevism
Join with the Bolshevks in repeing outside forces.
you want to hurt thing, don't attack it unless you
know you DESTROY it. Attack helps This especially
true of attacks political idea and attacks religion
Krassin, representing Russia says, I'VE Russians
always begin by getting beaten then we have
learned lesson come back again in marvellous STYLE
This said in another way by the German military
expert who described Russia feather bed 1t is to
force your way n but the deeper you go the the
feathers choke you and the off you
Europe is learning what we already know
here The London Express says: THE League OF Nations
is dead. 1t is only pious aspiration England says
the Express cannot 60 with the League without the
United States assistance.
In other words, the joyous peace party suddenly finds
lacks the that to for the lunch SO the
picnic is of.
The men that sell soft coal to people in the United
States for dollars and annoyed because
somebody would forbid their shipping abroad They think
is great pity that their proeerng should be limited to
the United States
This country thinks that permit shipment of coal to
other countries before all American needs have been
Piled is outrageous Workmen and consumers depend on
factories factories depend coal We here men idle
factories closed and transportation systems threatened for
lack Of coal Not ton should be shipped out OF this
country
TIE coal gentlemen are allowed to rob without limit at
HOME. This field should be big enough for them.
The Washington times., 1920-06-18
Why a Third Party?
1t Is Not Good Idea to Keep Millions of Citizens With
out Voice in Government.

The Republicans have nominated what its best friends
can only describe good conservative Republican
ticket"
The Democrats about to nominate. undoubtedly
what will be called highest praise "A good old fash
ioned Democratic ticket"
There are certain number of good conservative Re-
pubicans and certain number Of good oldfashioned
Democrats"
They entitled have their say their candidates
and their parties
But there millions of Americans that not merely
"good, conservative Republicans" merely good old
fashioned Democrats"
They independent thinkers and voters not content
with ldfashoned Democracy of the kind that has its
headquarters the of Wall and Broad streets
good conservative Repubcanism that has its headquarters
on the same corner.
There millions of Americans that want third ticket
an INDEPENDENT ticket chance to vote for candidates
and platform that do not represent platitudes.
It not good idea in a republic to have millions
represented in government in the electoral campaign
that precedes the choice of an administration.
Republicans and Democrats pretend to look with
upon any Independent movement or third party.
Well, since they scornful, why not HAVE that
third ticket?
It may surprise "good, conservative Republicanism" "
and old fashioned Democracy when the votes be
counted.
Every family in the United States is being robbed by
the proteers and the old parties offer relief except
pleasant words
At least half the people in the country would gladly
change to American government having had enough Of a
led government in the administration and finances of the
United States They would like party that would give
them chance to vote for American government.
When millions of people want thing they apt to
have it.
This country and should have third and really
AMERICAN party
The Washington times., 1920-06-18
what we want desirable only up
to the moment that we possess It.

to the moment that we possess 1t.
DEAR MISS FAIRFAX:
am a girl OF fifteen years. Am
very much in love with young
man of nineteen. He /. very low
able and kind. is a gentleman in all
his ac ions and doings. he has
asked me to marry him. What do
you advise me to do? Yours as ever.
ROSE.
If you are "mine as ever" Rose,
YOU will wait several years yet
before you think of marrying any
man, no matter how much OF a
gentleman he is, nor how lovable
or kind. In the first place, only
a very selfish or a very wicked or
a very young man would propose
marriage to a girl of your age.
We will give this boy the benefit
of the doubt and conclude that he
is too young to realize just what
a mistake a girl would be making
to enter upon a woman's respon-
sibilities when she is little more
than a child. In Tuesdays news
The Washington times., 1920-06-18
DEMOCRATIC PLATFORM.

Democrats want a platform. I've got
one to win:
Give us beer, little wine, and also
little gin"
Smile on labor and pat him on the
back:
Give him the railroads and throw in
the dern tracks
And, as TO the league, a grand and
glorious notion:
Let's direct the thing from our side
of the ocean.
As TO the Irish trouble. | think the
proper course
Let them immigrate and put them On
the police force.
TEYAQ
The Washington times., 1920-06-18

Denver boasts of
being a mile high.
so why not try
ooting that
rocket to Mars
from such a favor
able location in
stead OF hunting
for the center OF
population where
the crowd can be
expected.
Prospects are
for a noisy time
at Frisco with
one half singing
a song OF prohibit
tlon, and the 9TH
er half with hip
pockets full OF
rye.
One mystery has
been solved. Es-
sad Pasha. after
falling before an
Albanian's bullet,
is found to have
left but ono
widow
The Washington times., 1920-06-18
MARS AGAIN-FAT AS EVER S

scheduled for In
diana Jim Wat
son is to hammer
the elephant and
Tom Taggart will
coax the jack.
The Supre m e
Court never touch
ed the dandelion
when IL sent John
Barleycorn out for
the count of the
fatal ten.
A m 9th cr OF
seventeen hill
dren has asked
the Pennsylvania
courts to give her
relief from an al
legged cruel hus-
band. Married life
has surely gotten
a fair trial from
this tired soul.
Rumor saws
that o breg O n
wa ants TO Are the
]raft dodgers out
Of Mexico. Our
courts.martial are
ready.
The Washington times., 1920-06-18
THINGS IN GENERAL
Silver, Coal, Russia, Etc.
DR.. Nicholas Murray Butler, home fr,

DR.. Nicholas Murray Butler, home from the
Republican convention casually remarked that General
Wood and his friends had slipped up (on cake of Ivory
soap?) in the attempt to buy the Presidency.
General Wood replied with solderly brevity "Dr But
Ter is liar" The Ivory soap less brief in his
reply.
Now Dr. Butler says II am sorry that General Wood
lost his temper It does not sound we'll
And the public says: "After ALL among Republican
candidates. what does little thing like attempt to buy
the Presidency amount to?''
The charge made by Dr. Butler against General Leonard
Woods friends ought of if proved put the latter in
Jail, but such things hardly count in politics
Hungary has tried little of everything. 1t
got Bolshevism, Of peculiar kind with most horrible
atrocities Then there white Revolution, over
throwing Bolshevsm and the atrocities were infinitely
Now national starvation is complicated by profteering
and Hungary proposes the flash to twenty strokes
the soes of the feet of male proteers as remedy for
profteerng
We haven't quite got to that in this country. The
other day the head of the wool trust indicted for al
legged proeering in wooen cloths Mr. Hughes intelligent
lawyer said: 1.-THE law says you must not profteer in
CLOTHING cloth ISN'T clothing. My client doesn't sell
any Clothes only cloth" So the client is set free
Patience however! Even this country may eventually
decide that stealing from the people is proeerng whether
you make trousers and wastcoas steal the cloth Of
which the clothes are made.
Jack Dempsey professional prize fighter, is
acquitted conspiracy evade the draft He testified that
he did not break his wifes jaw with punch. The lady
IL seems FELL her jaw and broke it. She should open
class to how make very extraordinary
falls
This Dempsey feels that he ought have national
vote of thanks because he went around entertaining the
soldiers and didn't charge for it.
The public, however, will hope that Carpenter the
Frenchman who fought in the trenches and whose wife did
NOT fall her jaw may give Mr. Dempsey what the
Germans had chance to give him
1t is interesting to know that the great State of New
York and other States have voted to legaze and
are prize fighting holding the public admiration gen.
tlemen of Dempseys type.
At the request of the President the Good old
Peace League is be read at the Democratic convention
That seems a little oldfashioned II William Jennings
Bryan would sing "The Old Oaken Bucket" and Balm
Continued at Bottom Of LastC Coumn)
The Washington times., 1920-06-18
COST OF THE CLOTHES,

Regarding the cost of those
clothes-problem of W. II. Test-it
is agreed that the suit cost s45. The
coat s22.50: trousers s13. and vest
$3.50. solution by BOB" CHEEKS,
GEORGE FENWTCK. r., 3. H.,
THOMAS A. FITZGERALD. !. H.
HACKETT. G. PRENDER, E. D. NJ,
w. - NJ
The Washington times., 1920-06-18

None OF this crown prince idea for
Tammany Hall Is the edict expected
soon from Charles Francis Murphy In
giving the icy mitt to the Mckdoo
move. The lean and needy days Of
the near past when the braves al
ways got the brogans on the Treasury
door steps now loom large on the
retinas OF the sachems
The Washington times., 1920-06-18

That Iold Judge who prohibit
ed .peek-a boo shirtwsists and
see-more skirts In his court
room is certainly making II hard
on the rest OF US who keep our
eyes wide open. r.. NJ. y.
The Washington times., 1920-06-18
HoNORS MOTHER
AND WOMANHOOD.

Say. you men who don't believe in giving
n woman a seat In a street car because she
wants to vote. wouldn't you rather have
your sensible and sane mother vote than
some drunkArd or bum who votes for ANY
body because he il paid for 1t? I'm an ex-
soldier and have a bad leg which pains ine
but I'll give a woman my seat any time.
anywhere. woman can stand as well
a man. that's true-BCT where is vour re-
spect, boys7 Were supposed to be civil
ized. It's the woman after all that does
all our thinking for US she's the past, pres
ent and future MOTHER.
NlNTIETH DIVISION.
The Washington times., 1920-06-18
LOSES A REAL STAR.

In the graduation this June OF
AUBREY WARDWELL. Tech High
School Is going TO lose one OF its
greatest stars. He is eighteen years
old, nve feet four inches hixh, and
weighs I2s pounds. He has played
on the football team for three years
and was captain last year. He was
captain Of the championship baseball
team. He Is 4 great orator, full Of
clean mischief and fun. and liked By
all AN ADMIRER
The Washington times., 1920-06-18
Is THE SOLDIER IGNOREDf

! attended a dance the other night
In a dance hall. I asked an unattend :
ed young lady II she would
dance with me. She answered that
she didn't dance or associate with
men in uniform. I feared this, be-
cause she was a Washington woman.
After getting the lemon ! asked an
other lady and she danced with me.
She said her home was in Pennsyi-
vania and she was just working In
this city.
IL is outrageous how men in uni
form are treated by girls in Wash
ington. the National Capital II one
man in uniform has done wrong. don't
judge others the same way. We are
human. s. Il. q.
A man recently declared that all
Heard and Seen contributors are
nuts and it's editor the original
daffy-Bill. MILO II.
The Washington times., 1920-06-18
THE FRACTION PROBLEM.

FRED T. HAFELFINGER says that
more answers than one are possible
to the fraction problem of j. A. p,
June IA. One correct answer, he
says. is SIS.
Q. e. d. says that SIS and 1914
satisfy the conditions OF the problem.
X. T. w. gets 3-S.
J. II. HACKETT gets 3-4 or 81.
J. A. =. says the original fraction
was 81.
The Washington times., 1920-06-18

One OF Grover Cleveland Bergdoll's
guards now hailed before courtmsr-
tial was Sergeant York, Pretty tough
on the family name. but the fame OF
the red-hesded hero OF Tennessee who
cleaned up a whole German company
isn't dimmed In the least
The Washington times., 1920-06-18
The Cr0W's Nest

/ Two Of Senator Harding's ancestors
were scalped by Indians in the wy
oming Valley of Pennsylvania. which
brings to mind that the news reports
hint that a bunch of tomahawks are
being nervously fingered now in more
than one part of the nation.
EVER m q q
The Washington times., 1920-06-18
A DICE PROBLEM.
When four dice are thrown
what is the chance that they
will all fall different?
THOMAS A. FITZGERALD.
WHO'S TO BLAME?

Can you blame the man much for
picking up girls i'm his automobiler
Many of them seem willing TO take
any sort OF chances in a swell car. Is a
girl who thinks anything IF herself
going to accept the invitation of a
strange man TO go for ride with
him--she does not know where? The
woman who does is a mighty trust
ing. simple creature or perfectly will
ing to take chances. NJ II.
The Washington times., 1920-06-18


John Bull is gobbling up all the oil
these days, so It behooves lot OF us
to use all the elbow grease we can
in order that we may be In good
shape to hand him a real boycott
when he thinks he has us safe In the
lubricating hoose gov.
The Washington times., 1920-06-18
Fairfax Writes the Problems and Pitfalls of Workers Here
Especially for Washington Women

there was a pathetic story OF
girl bride of foui.ec, who, disil-
lusioned and unhappy, was beg
ging to be taken back to her moth
er and her sisters. You can find
the story in Tuesdays Times, i
think. OF course, don't mean
TO say that your fate would be
similar to hers, but | do know that
you are yet too young to choose a
life mate, that you have no reall-
zation Of what marriage is, and
that for several years yet you
should be a happy, carefree girl as
nearly as possible like butterfly
going from flower to flower and
slipping the honey Of life. If you
could only read the hundreds Of
letters that come to me that begin
in this wise: 81 am young mar
ried girl of nineteen, married two
years ago." followed by heart
breaking recitals of how they wish
they had waited, how romance
turned to reality, and sorry reality,
at that. Don't be one of that un-
fortunate group. Wait awhile. IT
he is the right one, he will wait,
too, and your romance Will have
a better chance of endurance, be-
cause you will both be wiser and
know how to keep love and happi-
ness-a thing neither of you know
now.
DEAp Nrcc EkIDTAy.
When a man OF Francisco's cali
Der comes a-seeking advice, one
can't help but wonder the why and
wherefore. Man has every advan-
tage and why he can'. dodge tho,e
Old maids and have he 'girl Of
his Dreams is simply a case of
man not exercising has prerog-
atives. Wonder just what age
places woman in the old-maid cate
CORY in Frapcisco's Judgment
We'll. anyway. the most persis-
tent Of them might make such
grateful, congenial companion that
the butterfly would seem a moth
OF flame and ashes"
| tried last time 10 be Gloris,
but Miss Fairfax insisted that be
Floria, so let's compromise II, ana
henceforward I'll be FLORA.
GLORIA.
No, my dear, it was the printer
who transformed you into Flora.
Printers are superior creatures
who can do as they please and who
hold every star writer in the hol-
low of their hands, just as they
controlled the fate Of the young
society editor who, desirous of
making an impression on a certain
very high and mighty dame, de-
scribed her as appearing at an inn
portant function with huge dia-
monds in her ears" When the
paper appeared on the street, the
line read with diamonds in her
huge ears" Take il all in all,
printers are a pretty good lot,
however, and the fact that they
wade through our letters so pains
takingly shows something at least
Of good intention.
The Washington times., 1920-06-18
A RIDDLE ANSWERED.

Q.-why is a new born babe like
donkey's tail?
Ans.-Because it was never seen
before. V. s. SNOW.
The Washington times., 1920-06-18

"An Interested Bum" says that
mysterious new organization in
Tech High School is known as the
"Grasshoppers," as opposed to the
"Fleas." The two sets are not fond
of each other.
The Washington times., 1920-06-18

Napkin" is the answer to ii. T.
SMITHS riddle of last Tuesday. So
say II. Y. c.. e. d. NJ, and others.
The Nap" aids digestion after din
ner. and kin" drop in to eat. and
the whole matches the table cloth.
The Washington times., 1920-06-18
POLITICAL POINTERS

After PEkShIkG saw what they
did TO General Wood he decided not 10
run for the Democratic nomination.
HARDING was a cornstsf In a band
when a lad. VIII he cease blowing his
own horn II he gets In the White
Housef
% many thousands OF citizens have
lost confidence In the old parties II
is time a new LIBERTY PARTY
was organized. New ideas and idesla
will be welcome.
EDMUND NJ. SULLIVAN
A correspondent recalls the time
when little kids were tickled TO death
If you gave them a penny. Nov they
want two cents.
The Washington times., 1920-06-18

Conductor 1855, Of the Brightwood
and Anacostia line, deserves kindly
mention in II and S for courtesies
to patrons on that line.
G.. w. ALLEN.
The Washington times., 1920-06-18

1t took $500 worth Of soap TO put
one man out OF business. yet
never saw soft soap submergc any
body.
The Latin word for buyer" is
"emptor." I paid so cents for some-
thing TO eat the other day and csme
away empty" +. VETTER.
The Washington times., 1920-06-18

Uncle Dudley" advises those bitten
by spiders or poisonous insects not to
use iodine. Says he was laid up with
blood poison for doing this. Advises
the use of bichloride OF mercury. one
tablet dissolved in a quart OF water.
Wrap in cotton and battle with the
solution
The Washington times., 1920-06-18
HEARD AND SEEN
HOME BREW INFORMATION.
By BILL PRICE.

Allow me To slip you . little in
formation on how to make 20 gal
Ions Of Home Brew. Follow direc-
tons carefully:
Capture = bullfros. pen him up fog
three days. and feed him on hair SPRING.
Turn him loose and chase him three
miles Then 50 back on the route taken
he hop. sdd ten pound, Of tss bark
from . dog wood tree. three pounds Of
glue, one bar OF soap. and one pint OF
shellac. Boil for six months and strain
through an old sock.
n. B.-Ths does not conflict with the
NolsteAd Act. c. IL q.
Free trader-journal and Ottawa fair dealer. (Ottawa, Ill.) 1920-1927, 1920-06-12
DR.. GREEN
NOTICE or ELECTION.

Notice is hereby given that an cleo
ton will be held in the City OF OF
tawa, County of La Sale, State OF
Illinois. on the 18th day Of June, A. ID.
1920, for the purpose of voting on the
following propositions and the isSu-
ance of bonds in payment therefor
For the diversion and drainage or
Goose Creek. $25. coo 90.
For the construction of bridge over
Fox River on Main street, S40,00O.OO
For the constructing of retaining
wall along a portion of the north
side Of East Courtney street hill,
SIS zoe 90
pOLLErG PLACES.
First ward-Town Hall, First ave-
nue..
Second ward-lIotel Ottawa, Co.
lumbus street.
Third ward -perrott's Barn, Lafay.
cite street.
Fourth ward-Weiler's Store. Co.
lumbus and Joliet streets.
Fifth Ward--llcllman Building.
Sixth ward -SChaefer's Hall, Chest
nut street.
Seventh Ward-Larline Barber
ShOp. West Main and Harden streets.
Polls will be opened at 700 o'clock
and shall be closed at 500 o'clock in
the evening of that day.
W. w CURTIS,
City Clerk.
Dated at Ottawa, H., May 27tb,
1920.
Free trader-journal and Ottawa fair dealer. (Ottawa, Ill.) 1920-1927, 1920-06-12

wouldn't have looked 50 handsome to
my mind as rings
II couldn't wear pcndant upon nay
face for that would have looked rather
absurd and Mr. Moon doesn't care to-
look absurd. He's too old q fellow for
that"
The Queen of the Fairies smiled.
"pray continue" She said.
% $50 decided upon rings ANA have
several different ones | wear at Off
fcrent times, but AS toId you be-
fore my fayoritc one is my golden one"
And you said that YOU would OK
plain to me why You Wear your ring
Free trader-journal and Ottawa fair dealer. (Ottawa, Ill.) 1920-1927, 1920-06-12

~, .tt
49,,
-, .'..,
80
~.
,,,,,1 ,'.,.,. =.
=,
.".,' '''' ,n.,
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Free trader-journal and Ottawa fair dealer. (Ottawa, Ill.) 1920-1927, 1920-06-12

FOR SALz-S-r9Cm loH-e IN Center
Ottawa; mod I'm royemea--.
Sara wood foo"5 ta al, rooms ana
c osc'4; naw garage. Hia1 CERT
RUDE lta-tRi5.
Free trader-journal and Ottawa fair dealer. (Ottawa, Ill.) 1920-1927, 1920-06-12
WANTED

WANTED Two girls at bianchi Ice
cream parlOr.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-04-16
OVERALL CLUB MOVEMENT =
SPREADS OVER SOUTHWEST

Kansas City. No, April 1.-THE
g. -orerallE club movement. intended
as a protest against the high prices
Of clothing. is spreading rapidly
throughout the southwest
Dispatches said clubs had been
formed in numerous places IN Mis-
souri, Kansas. Oklahoma, Texas and
Arkansas
Tire movement in Missouri began
at Jefferson City. where statehouse
officials and employees are signing
pledges 70 wear denim until clothing
prices are reduced
Kansas City. Kansas, Salina and
Wichita all report large followers Of
the movement
The inaugural outfit OF Rev.
Joseph BroEan. uayor-elect OF En-
pcria- kas-- and presloelt-slecr Of
the Emporia 0veralls club. will be
oVerallE. according TO his announce
ment- The Emporia club reports sew
eral hundred members
In announcing the organization OF
an oVeralls club at Kansas uniVer-
sity, the president said he would lead
the membership among the young
men in wearing oVeralis and that his
vie. Mrs Strong, would set an e1-
ample Tor the young women by adopt
Ing the cottage apron as the approved
garb Tor both home and street wear.
The movement in Oklahoma is Of
sta tewide proportions. Oklahoma City
reports said
Dallas and amarillo. Texas. and
Pine Bluff and Hot Springs. Ark.
were among the towns Ia those states
reporting the foundation OF the clubs.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-04-16
Ell Paso Station Stands
Third in Recruiting

A letter Of congratulation for the
good showing Of the Fl Paso army
recruiting office during the recent
drive has been received from Adj.
Gen. p. c. Harris by Mai A A King,
in charge OF the local station.
FL Paso stood third among the So
stations OF the country with 40 men
enlisted, a percentage Of 47-9z OF its
quota set at the start OF the drive
The general average for the whole
country during the drive was only
Is percent A total Of 1880 men
were enlisted during the drive period,
January 19 TO March 81
Enlistments in the army reported
Friday were William c. Hurley. Ep-
worth. Ga. 21st field artillery, Camp
Bragg. y C., Seferino Delfin and An
tonic Martinez. Tularosa. Nm, medi-
cal department base hospital. Fort
Bliss. Russell H Shultz, Fl Paso-
nth field artillery. Camp Grant. ILL.,
William \. Shelburne, san Angelo,
Texas, and Arthur V Berry, Amarillo,
Texas, coast artillery corps, Philip
pines: 5ewei n. Fowler. Amarillo.
Texas. Ninth engineers. Camp Travis.
Bill N. Greer, Cell D. Bates and
Schelley d. Bates. Amarillo. Texas
coast artillery corps. san Francisco.
Calf Edmond W. Tigret, Fl Paso,
quartermaster corps, post bakery,
Fort Bliss Ruby A. Wilkins, engi-
neers Fort Bliss.