davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-11-20
EGYPT GETS HERS
Copyright
1920
By FLORAN SLAPPEY
As Told to OCTAVUS ROY COHEN

The door Of Lawyer Evans Chew's
private Office opened slowly and the
dusky head OF Florian Slappey was
thrust within.
'Busy?" he inquired.
The colored attorney answered with
a decisive monosyllable. "Yeh!"
Shall come in?"
mol"
"Ve'y WELL" Florian strolled Ian
guidly thru the door and seated him.
self in the easiest of the three easy
chairs. He ignored the baleful glare
with which he was favored as he ele-
waited his feet to the polished top of
the looks-l ike-m mahogany desk.
You never let's mo alone" protest
ed Chew.
,You Is like'n to Egypt" came the
unexpected reply. Nobody never lets
her alone"
you talks Almost as crazy as what
you looks" snapped the attorney
testify. Amt you ben readin' in the
papers that England has jes' declared
Egypt a free an dependent country?"
II has. But it don mean nothin'."
How come you to utter sech fool
ishment?'
Il knows what l talks about. Egypt
amt free
"She's free as what Cuba is FUN
the United States"
Florian threw back his head and
emitted frank and hearty guffaw
Cuba free? I Graves to inquire where
you gifts sech idea fum?"
"Ain't she2"
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-11-20

vestigation, with the result that she
discovered the absence Of web feet on
the birds and found an explanation
OF their failure to have the ducks
desire to go swimming. Another
strange thing about the claw footed
creatures is that their leader, the
lordly drake, has all the pride and
ego OF the average barnyard rooster,
strutting about just like cock and
occasionally trying to initiate the
crow Of the chanticleer. or course,
he fails miserably. but he does go
thru the motions pretty we'll and his
Efforts end In a prolonged squawk,
or 'Quack." Many of the people who
have seen this strange flock of ducks
opine that their siNteen-to one num-
Der and apportionment OF sex Is
sign that Bryan Is to return to his
old-time power as a leader Of the
democratic party on the issue Of the
free coinage OF silver at the heaven
born ratio OF sixteen to- one, and
further. that the absence Of web feet
on the ducks Is sure sign that pro-
hibitior has come to stay and every
thing will be SO dry ducks won't have
any swimming to do. 1t Is strange
case, to say the least.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-11-20
Topics of the Times

The moonshiner should not forget
that its a long worm that never
turns.
You'll have to let rogue into the
list Of athletics now that the courts
have decided that babies rattles are
Nathletic equipment"
Ono annoying aspect Of readjust-
ment is that when we buy cheap of
them folks expect US to cut our own
selling price. What sweet world
this would be II we could buy low
and sell high, don't you think?
The shipping board spent $4,000. 900
without bookkeeping on expenditures
and forgot all about $4,000, scatter
ed here and there. But while that was
being done every business man and
factory and farmer was being check
ed up over and over by a horde of
inspectors to see that he had made
returns to the final will OF income.
Harding showed good sense by
staying out Of Mexico. He should
continue to show judgment by re-
framing from any attempt to be pres
ident until after his inauguration.
Taft made. that mistake.
Never mind what the democrats
say. The boys are suffering from
shell shock.
Admiral Sir William Buckingham
visit this country soon. BY the way
didn' general Of that name make
a call on Andrew Jackson and some
OF early pioneers at New Orleans on
one occasion where he was, warmly
received?
Looks as tho the postmasters who
fondlY hoped that Wilson had we'd
ged them firmly into the office are
to be disappointed. They say there's
a horrid shake-up coming in the
postal department.
Certain officers Of tho "Consum-
ers Packing Company. Of Chicago will
matriculate at federal prison. What
are we doing in Iowa with out batch
of crooked packing house promoters?
Anything?
When the women voted Berger
went down and a congressional dis
trtct resained decent standing.
You can begin to buy them now.
Christmas follows close on Thanks
giving day.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-11-20
Artificial SEASONING.

The practice Of artificial seasoning
of timber has grown greatly within
recent years. Seasoning that would
occupy three or four years by natural
processes can be accomplished in
proper kilns in from three to four
days to rs many weeks.
The work is done in closed in build
tngs capable OF holding from 10000
to 10000 cubic feet of timber. The
floor is gently sloping and the tim
Der is gradually passed down 1t. A
fan draws air over the surfaces Of a
steam heater, and this air passes thru
the piles of boards or planks, which
are separated about an inch. The air
enters at the lower end In order TO
carry the moisture derived from the
timber that has been longest in the
kiln to that which has just been
introduced at the upper end. The
reason for this is that in seasoning
tho air must be charged with mois-
ture Mt the beginning and only dry
at the later stages. Without this pre-
caution the timber would be lease
dried" the interior remaining damn,
and afterward 1t would warp and
crack
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-11-20
THE MEANING OF IOWA.
TThe palinaeaf

Why should Iowa mean anything
to us? 1t is not the greatest state
in the union In size, In numbers, or
In wealth. 1t has no large city, no
mecca for the pilgrimages OF man
kind Its shores are not washed by
tho sea as nre those Of California
and Florida. It's hills do not rise into
the blue like the mountains OF Colo
RADIO. 1t does not look out toward
the island empire of either Great
Britain or Japan. It's people can not
talk across the fence to the Ca.
nadians or feel the stir OF excitement
along the prickly border of Mexico.
But 1t Is the heart of America. It's
shores are the two greatest rivers of
the continent. Its rolling hills and
fertile plains smile in the sun, well
content with the task OF making
mama for millions. 1t has woods
and winding streams and blue lakes.
and towns with shady streets and
green lawns and alert and friendly
people.
And 1t has traditions. We are
young in the land, but the land is old.
It's story runs back OF the days when
glaciers slipped down across IL:
back to the times when the sea COW
cred the Mississippi basin. Into the
long story came the red men. and
after many generations the whites.
The songs Of French boatmen echo
upon the streams; Spanish fur trad
ers trail it's western shore. Julien
Nal
the misty past. Builders Of homes
arrive and out of the border land n
state comes into the union. Con-
sressmen. soldiers, and farmers.
lawyers, business men, and wide Wis.,
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-11-20
DIAMONDS AND IRISH POTATOES.

Des Moines woman by accident
dropped little bag Of diamonds into
the sewer. Workmen have been tear
| ing up sewer connections in an at
tempt to recover them. She valued
them at $500.
Now the fact is that nothing of
| real value to the world was lost when
she dropped her sparks. She lost
their monetary value of course but
it isn't an intrinsic value.
If you wish to read Of real values
peruse then the crop estimate Of the
agricultural department for Novem-
ber
The corn crop breaks the record.
Iowa leads in production. Estimated
yields Of AL, $50, 600 bushels In Iowa,
500, 634, 900 in Illinois, and 250.9sS, 900
in Nebraska make them the three
states contributing most to the
enormous total, estimated at $780,
$4,000 bushels produced in the
United States this year.
But other crops broke records. The
preliminary estimates Of rice, sweet
potatoes and pears ares above those
OF any previous year. Oats, rye,
wheat and barley--bread grains-are
greater and Irish potatoes piled up %
million bushels more than last year.
There's the real value. That's the
primitive, instinsic value. We can eat
it and live and tho to the devil him.
self is attributed the authorship OF
the phrase 1T Is the final truth. we
can wear the wool-if the manufac-
turers will buy it and make 1t into
cloth at prices that people can pay
and fend away wind and cold; but
diamonds, imagine the value OF
gunnysack of diamonds to a starving
man compared to handful Of wheat
or peck of Irish potatoes.
So humanity loses nothing OF real
value when Mrs. Blank drops her
diamonds down the sewer pipe. 1t
loses when @ bushel OF potatoes >rots
or an elevator filled with wheat
burns. i
The diamond mines Of Kimberly
aren't comparable In value to one
acre OF Iowa soil with farmer
scratching It's surface.
f Nearly a half billion bushels OF
corn. Food for a nation. That's value.
And that's Iowa.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-11-20
KEEPING ROADS OPEN.


The increased use OF the highways
by motor cars and especially their
use by trucks, Is stimulating interest
In the problem OF keeping the high
WAYS open In the winter, just as the
railway lines are kept open. To this
end not only are snow plows. run
by powerful tractors, being made
part Of the equipment Of some coun-
ties or states, but types Of portable
fences have been devised to control
the drifting of snow at critical points,
Just as the railroads use fences for
the same purpose.
Wisconsin has some Of the best
highway laws in the country. and
some counties up there are being
pointed to as In the van in this mat
ter of snow removal or control. Mil
waukee county takes care Of about
one-half Of It's miles of improved
highway and the townships take care
of the remainder. A snow removal
fund has been created and is taken
from the general tax funds. The
county is divided into four districts,
each supervised by a foreman. The
snow removal work is done by the
district maintenance crews and is
paid for from the snow removal fund
Last winter, six motor trucks
equipped with plows were operated
almost exclusively In snow removal
work These trucks were assigned as
nearly as possible to definite districts
and the trucks were used SO as to
produce the most efficient results
With snow to the depth Of II to 18
inches, the trucks operated very sue
cessfully and one truck in storm
last winter cleared an 1S-foot strip
of roadway in one round trip.
During 1920 the county spent $4,000
on snow removal, or an average of
$50 per mile. A large part of this cost
was caused by the almost continued
high winds which kept piling the
snow in heavy drifts. necessitating
recourse to hand shoveling. During
snowstorns, crews were often kept
at work night and day removing the
snow as fast as it had fallen. There
was enough business going over the
roads, Of course, to make a paying
investment Of such expenditure as
was made to keep them open.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-11-20

No, she amt"
"She was
Was amt is! Ever sence prohibit
oition come in, amt Cuba ben in
vaded by American expeditionary
force? Amt she? An is that free %
Anyway" persisted Chew. Egypt
is free, an even i'm she amt entirely
free she's free'r what she was when
the Turks was runnin' things there,
Il amt sayin'. you amt tootin' when
you says that, Lawyer Chew. But
tha's like tellin' me that i'm I has a
dollar | has mon has when I has
nothin' tall"
"Egypts gwine govern herself, amt
she?"
"Slongs she governs good. But
! England amt no fool an she's gittin
herself a Egyptian treaty which says
that she's lowed to keep a pretty
close eye on which transpiahs there
Amt that right, asks?"
"So'ly it's right
Then what you is kickin' bout %
"Ain't kiclin'"
"But you was reemahkfn'-"
"Jes' what l reemahks when heahs
of good man. gittin' mated. Mebbe
so he thinks he gwine be free-but
jes' let him try his freedom out after
he's done hitched-let him try to bust
loose jes' once! On'y jes' once! An
then" Florian paused.
"Yeh? An then which?'
"His wife's gwine show him thai
she's got treaty with him like Eng.
land is got with Egypt"
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-11-20
wA1TIS' ON THE LEvEE.

A steam boat whistled and scores
OF Burlington people hurried to the
levee yesterday. 1t was like old days.
Not the sight that greeted those who
tlocked to the river front for thai
was strange indeed, but the fact that
a steamboat whistle could ,attrae,
Burlingtonians once more to the
levee.
The occasion was the string of
government barges being pushed
down stream by the Z. S. S. Elinor.
Time was when all Burlington
flocked to the steam boat landing
when the great packets whistled. The
older citizens tell wonderful tales of
packets landing almost together on
great race up the river, with
"a Niger on the safety valve" and
bacon rine being fed into the furnace.
A younger generation remembers the
old Pittsburgh the Mary Morton, the J.
c. Atlee, The st, Paul. Quincy. Matt
+. Allen. Pauline, successors to the
Hawkeye State, Sucker State. War
rior and the Eagle boats. There was
the occasional barge and the fire.
quent great log or lumber raft but
the chief attraction was the boat en
the river.
OF late the old river has fallen into
disuse but yesterday gave evidence
that the love Of the river, the inter
est in the great stream is not Lack
ing, all 1T needs is something to re-
vive or awaken it. Some day, per-
haps not far distant, these great bar
ges will be no uncommon sight as
they carry great and valuable car
goes up and down, loading and I'M
leading at the port Of Burlington"
and then again Burlington people will
flock to the water front, not for an
unusual sight but merely because the
natural love Of the river, when there
is any activity upon it, compelis them
to 60.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-11-20

toned women play their parts; and
SO our heritage has grown.
And yet, probably it is the associa-
lions OF more immediate past, the
memory Of more intimate and homely
things that IMAGES up for us the
thought Of Iowa. It is where we live
perhaps where we have always lived.
Its people are our people, and Iowa Is
our state. We frame it's laws and
try to obey them. It is we who build
its institutions and make it's history
and look forward to the enjoyment Of
Its future. The familiar scenes of
tho land between the rivers have
woven themselves into our lives
And 30 Iowa means thousand
things to us-the rush OF water In
the cutters in the springtime. and the
smell Of burning leaves in the fall:
the tang Of early frost and the sight
Of oaks still clinging to their rusty
foliage on the hilltops; tho sound Of
birds in the early summer morning,
and the stiffness craven on the mar
BILE OF winter night. 1t means
black mud in the bottom road and
red sumac along the fence: Wal
lace's Farmer and Ding's cartoons:
the clack of the mower and the
memory OF boys going off to war.
Iowa has Its faults; but 80, per-
haps. have our parents. our wives.
and our children, to say nothing of
ourselves. And after all, we can not
explain the charm Of the things we
love. Let us then not so much boast
OF Iowa MS to be happy in 1t. Let
us look with seeing eyes upon it's
beauties. and with friendly eyes upon
Its people, our neighbors. Let us
know It's story and make sure tina,
we ourselves play in 1t a worthy
part: for what we make 1t means to
part: for what we make it mean to
come hereafter.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-11-20
BooILEaeERs nIen AND LOW.

Altogether too much booze 10 COM
ing into Iowa towns and cities from
Canada Any Is too much but there
seems to be no limit to the importa-
ton. It comes in truck loads and
quantities.
There Is ono explanation for the
facility with which It Is being i'm
ported under cover Of secrecy and
darkness. The officials sworn to
execute the laws are either inefficient
or Sinking their duty. 1t is probably
somewhat Of both.
The bootlegger who drives the
truck Is not actually the principal Of
fender. He Is tho tool OF those more
or less prominent and influential who
use him. When tho traffic is finally
rounded up and the men behind the
gun disclosed there will be some as
tonishing revelations and publicity OF
character that will be hard to live
down.
That rs surely coming. The law is
the law and to be enforced. Some Of
fcers are going to have trouble re-
naming in office before long. Some
others who imagine their operations
are secret and who have managed to
get by SO far are certain to hold poie-
nant and lasting regrets when the
balloon goes up.
The condition seems to be gen
eral. Those who want booze badly
enough to pay high and take chances
are able to employ adventurous and
interruptions persons to haul II to
them. They will continue to do so
until the inevitable takes place. Then
there will be deserate appeals to In
fluence to save them from the con-
sequences OF criminal completely In
violation OF the laws.
Bootlegging Is bootlegging what
ever the social position OF the boot
logger may be. There Is no degree In
bootleggins and all bootleggers earn
and deserve similar treatment and
should get tho same dose.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-11-20
lS} IL;L:XWI1IJKERC8
x0A ..... e EsANcEs IReoo Montgomery 70

Billy could just make out to see
that his friends, the monkeys. were
wide awake and ready to do the parts
agreed upon when Mike and Jim
came for him.
The bolt was softly withdrawn and
the cage door swung noiselessly OMEN,
MIKES great arm followed by his
head and shoulders were thrust in
side the cage. Billy felt himself firm
~ Srasped about the waist and in
another second he would have been
dragged out and on the ground, but
in the nick of season the long thin
arm OF Colonel Mandrill shot out once
more. but this time it grasped not
Billy WHISPERS but the neck Of Mike,
the Keeper. We already know from
Billy Whiskers former experience the
terrible strength of old Blue Noses
right arm. Mike was learning about
1t now. He let go Billy and pulled and
tore at the thing that was tighten
ing about his throat. He would have
called to Jim but could make no
sound. He tried to pull away but all
In vain.
Jim crowded In by the side OF Mike
TO find out what was wrong. Quicker
than 1t takes to tell it, u dozen lean
arms, big and little, had grabbed him
Wherever they could lay hold, and in
two seconds he was as helpless as
Mike.
Billy did not try to interfere for a
minute or two. Then he took matters
in hand. He commanded Colonel Blue
Nose to let so, but he did not obey.
He ordered the other monkeys to
drop Jim. but they followed old Blue
Noses bad example.
Billy was now frightened for the
lives of the two men. He didn't want
to BIS responsible for their deaths in
such dreadful way. He reminded
the monkeys that they had chosen
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-11-20
Ripping Rhymes
By WALT MASON
By WALT MASOl
MASTERPIECES.

stand the bulky
to
the wise bunf
reading
wrought held
couchd
youth Read
hid
and
blthe hand
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-11-20

him their leader and once more or
dered them to give over their prey.
AT this Colonel MandrilI reluctantly
opeyed and Mike dropped limp and
lnsensible at the side Of the cage. The
others followed the example of old
Blue Nose and Jim fell by the side
or his pal in no better condition Billy
ana the monkeys might now have
maze their escape, but all Were of
the opinion that they were being
treated too well and the prospects of
fun were too good to think of taking
such step just then. They agreed
among themselves that they might
consider escaping later on IL things
ala not go to suit them.
presently Mike began to collect his
scattered senses. They laughed in
the cage when they heard him grunt-
ing and grooming.
Just then he evidently touched Jim
who was also coming to, for they
neard them whispering together
They were both thanking their luckv
stars that they had escaped with
their lives.
Wen have to give it up" Mike
Voc ie"ia " say. InoSe monkeys
are sure holy terrors and they will
never surrender the great goat I
kpoW there's big money in him, but
nc amt for us, Jim" and Jim agreed.
Someone was calling TO them to
hurry up with the monkey cage and
with more grunting and grooming
they got to their feet and drove up
the inclined plane into the car. Soon
they were rumbling along to the next
place where the great show was to
exhibit.
Billy Whiskers, in the cage with
the monkeys. fell asleep wondering
what the coming days could have In
store for him.
could he have seen he might not
have fallen asleep SO easily)
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-11-20

low will fight the cat, and relying
too confidently upon it's powers OF
flight, sometimes swoops down so
near to it's enemy that 1t is caught by
sudden stroke of the cats paw.
.. Is the COW good pathfinder?
The COW has the liesureIy, deliber-
ate movement that insures an easy
and safe way. Follow her trail thru
the woods, and you have the best, il
not the shortest course. A herd of
COWS left to themselves fall naturally
into single file, and hundred or
more hoofs are not long in smoothing
and compacting almost any surface
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-11-20
the YOUNGER FOLKS CAN'T KNOW.

Some of the fault finding by elder
ly people over the apparent extrava-
gance of this generation is unjust.
Those older folks have been thru
hard times" These younger ones
have no more idea or understanding
Of hard times than baby has of
hard work
The man Of 80 and even older
knows little or nothing Of hard times.
When the last period Of hard times
changed to the poisoning OF pros
perity the thirty year old was q boy
or girl OF ten. Children do not know
hard times. They take things as
they come and child always man
ages to have pretty good time
whether on much or little. SO that
the average living person Of this day
has never really suffered thru seri-
GUS industrial and business depres-
sion.
1t was different lines twenty odd
years ago to the man Of family, to
all whose energies were their stock
and capital. Work was hard TO get
and paid at the lowest rate. A Job
OF any kind was q blessing. Men
were idle and families knew not
where to turn. Everybody owed
everybody else and most Of them
couldn't apy anybody. Merchants
lacked trade and prices were at the
ebb. Factories and shops were idle
or running half time or less and labor
wore its shoe soles out seeking en-
ployment. Deprivation was common
and In the congested centers condi-
tions were appalling. Charity worked
night and day to keep starvation
from the helpless. To those rho un-
derwent that period it seems now
like the dream Of nightmare. OF
course the later generation can not
understand 1t. They have lived their
lives In plenty. The past twenty
years have been fruitful and easy
years in which to live and prosper.
They are like children who, having
always had all they need and most
they want can not understand
denial.
We shall probably never have
another period of utter demoraliza-
ton Of industry and business and un-
employment like that which preceded
McKinleys first election. II we I'M
dergo a depression in the present
processes Of readjustment it will not
in all likelihood be so severe or sus-
tanned. Still, those who have never
experienced the pinch will Ind it
hard to bear. Even so perhaps it
Will be salutary lesson In thrift
and economy and in the long run q
benefit to a people who have learned
to live high and fast without counting
cost.
Take some elder man or woman
aside and ask Of the middle nineties.
Their traditional relation will be a
revelation to all persons under forty.