The Washington herald., 1920-08-04
MARRY A sPELLBINDER.

The chief thing that is the matter
with matrimony is dullness. 1t is
the husbands and wives who are
bored to death with their life part
ners who jump over the bars In
search of afinities and soul mates.
Most family spats are nothing but
the instructive effort Of married peo-
pie to infuse a little ginger and pep
into a situation that has grown un-
bearably fat and stale.
1t is only too sadly true that when
we see a couple devouring their
food at a restaurant in a silence so
thick you could cut IL with knife.
or poring over the prehistoric
jokes in a theater program between
the acts at a play. that we do not
need to be a Sherlock Holmes to
deduce the fact that they are hus-
band and wife.
Nor is there anything more pitiful
than the paucity of conversation IN
the average family circle. 1t ranges
from fault finding, and nagging, and
bills. and the children, back to fault
finding. and nagging and bills and
the children and stops there. Just
how wearisome the husband and
wife find each others society we
may Judge by the way they brighten
up when a third party drops in.
It is as IL somebody had snapped on
the electric light in a dark room.
with the stranger they begin to dis
cuss politics and fashion, to tell
stories, and make jokes, but they
had nothing to say to each other.
Now, of all the tragedies OF matri-
mony none is so common, or so ter
rible as this one Of boredom. The
Crowning disillusionment Of romance
is to awaken to the fact that one is
tied for life to a dull and wearisome
husband or wife. An Interestlng z
sinner one might forgive, or even
reform. but the individual who sim
ply makes you tired, and in whose
face you yawn. is hopeless.
The importance OF selecting a
mate who will be good company
for the forty or hfty years they
expect to spend together Is never
impressed upon the minds Of the
young. They are told to look ou,
for morals. and the health Of those
they contemplate marrying. and To
find out IL a young man can make
a living and a girl can moke bread
before they tie up for keeps, but nc
one warns them to ascertain on the
safe side Of the altar whether the
party of the other part is going
to prove an interesting and conge-
nial companion, or n wearisomt
bore.
Yet this is. in reality. the pivot
upon which all domestic bliss turns
A man may be a model of all the
virtues. but if he is dull and prosy
Of salt Goldfish. his wife will find
matrimOny dust and ashes in hel
teeth. and pray for death to enc
her martyrdon il she happens tc
be a bright and clever woman
with a wide outlook on the world.
\ woman may be household
angel. and worship her husband
with a double dyed devotion, but
IL she is silly and ignorant, with
a conversational gamut that oni,
reaches from the kitchen to tht
nursery and around the block, ht
will find nothing but misery in hi!
, home if he chances to be an intelli'
gent man.
For while we abstractly admir-,
goodness we don't find il contain,
many thrills unless il is favored
up with other qualities. 1t is like Z;
bread and butter pudding that re
quires a spiCed sauce to make i
zpalatable.
On the other hand, most of US are
willing to CondOne almost any fault
in those who interest and amust
: US. and this explains why the nus,
bands and wives who are dull saint,
are less loved than are those who
are cheerful sinners You remem.
Der that in Shaw's play the erring
Mrs George was always taken oacr
and forgiven by her husband be,
cause she was so entertaining after
each Of her little excursions from
the domestic fireside.
Of course youths and maidens will
laugh and scOrn the sugge estion that
they will do well to find out be,
fore marriage whether they interest
each other or not. They know they
do, and prove it by saying that
+ they spend hours together without
weariness- Billing and cooling is nc
test Of ones conversational ability
Nobody ever wearies of fattery
Anyone can listen entranced fol
weeks while someone tells them
how beautiful and wonderful they
are. but that line of talk ends a
the altar. 1t forms no part of thu
daily domestic menu.
Therefore. the young man contem
plating engaging in the prolonged
tete-a-tete Of matrimOny Is wise 1
he cuts out the love talk Ions
enough to find out whether the gir
he fancies can talk Interestingly,
upon a thousand topics, whethe,
she knows enough about the new
Of the day to discuss it intelligent
ly: whether she can discuss will
him the books he loves, and. abov,
all. whether she is one of thos,
delightful women whom Stephenson
described as good gossips" whc
can't go down the street withou
collecting a budget of gay and en-
tertaining news. Let no man eve
forget that 1t was Schezerade wht
woye a story that lasted a Thousand
and one nights who kept her hus
bands interest after he had tireC