davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-02-25

From the New York Evening Sun.
 NECRETARY BAKERS directions N that the war department proceed S in divers ways against a great part of the 17S,000 listed on the draft books as willful deserters will cause some surprise Few had realized that any such number had been charged with deliberate or intentional evasion of military duty With the cases classed for technical or other reasons as ncn-willful desertiop, the total of delinauents actually stands above 32o,- 900. The proportion of the n-willful, nearly half, suggests that 1eniency may have swelled this elastic category.
 That so many men even as 17S,oo0 should have sought to evade obliga-
 tory military service will startle the
 average American. Racial and sec
 tional retardment will supply nowhere near cases enough to account for the total The hand of the pro-enemy agi-
 tator and of his next of kin, the so-
 cialist defeatist, must have had much to do with the lamentable size of the aggregate. Secretary Baker intends to publish the names of the willful delin- quents save for the obvious few classes of exceptions, and to order prosecu- tions where feasible. Many ruined
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-02-25

From the Kansas City Star.
 IT HISTORY for the most part wears
 H false :, face s..l t ,as makes ss,s. ssss, pss.
 lie acts and contemporary events, but
 you want to know anything about the
 times and manners the state or opinlon'
 taste or morals you must step off these
 main highways with their trim mile
 posts and explore the bypaths.
 sedate history would have us believe
 that eighteenth century England was well-tended garden with neat graveieo walks and pleasant bowers, where select gentlemen. with well-turned calves, wigs and ribboned stars perpetually took tea and arranged for wars and rotations Tn office. You would think that 5,0W,VW Englishmen shut up their shops ana craned necks over the wall to see who was to have the white staff and who she great seal That is, you would think so if history gave you the slightest hint that there were 5,o00,oco Englishmen or any other number beside those few max ing history in the garden.
 But hint of this we get none until we
 forsake our regular licensed guides and follow the banditti of historical literature. the Howarths, the Swifts, through paths that reveal the sort of society It was that made Newgate and Tyburn possible. that show us ignorant, brutalized, COCK fighting. drunken England as it existed Outside 0O we say? Inside. too, for Swift wrote anu was applauded by what we must cal porte society. That he was popular though disliked personally, we must ac- cent as evidence of what the public taste was. and we can read scarcely page or hin, today without pronouncing that taste to be incredibly low and thoroughly Dao. Taine is filed with disgust as he reaos him. Not that the same age Tn rrahoe did not produce it's satirist' put where yoltaire thrusts grinning with ms keen r.n;er swif. throws dead cats and dis sacts decayed cabbage There is no grin in Swift, no lightsome play or saure ] against the black clouds. Ills way or revealing them is to make them stand out blacker.
 ,.ckeray has tried to speak good word for Swift. but not with success. Taine has the truer word. Let those who can see humor or satire in Swift's Mod est Proposal for the preparation of young o,,,arcn for pot pies and roasts. We
 miss the point ourselves and lose in shudder all the lesson that may have ,sen intended to be pointed as to the noverty and social degradation of the o,ass this recommendation is directed to. voltaire saw as deeply into the worlds woes as Swift, but "Candide" is the more powerful lesson and "Candide" doesn't revolt
 1 If Swift's age found this satire pleasing then we have a picture of Swifts age. | It isfthe reverse side of history's heroic
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-02-25
BRETON LOVE SONG

By J. Corson Miller. The stars dream on, but my Yam
 away
 Out on the Northern Sea; Where they haul in the cod, both mig
 and day.
 And the sharp ford winds blow free But Yam will return when the summer fading
 Out on the Northern Sea: Return to the Moan, who's patient
 waiting
 Here in Old Brittany. My hair will I dress in very fine style When Yam returns from the sea; o then he will praise me, and tender
 smile,
 For Yam loves his mother and mo, And he will return when the summed
 fading Out on the Northern Sea Return to his Moan who's watchihg \,
 waiting. Fl Here in Old Brittany.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-02-25
IN HOTEL LCBBIES
 AND ELSEWHERE
Stood for Policy Holders


 That was a splendid tribute paid sen ator Underwood by President Haley Fiske of the Metropolitan Life Insurance Company. at the dinner given by the company to it's district superintendents and agents and policyholders last satur- day night" remarked Robert Jemiscn. After stating that over goo, ,OoO0oo of the s364, ,O00, 900 of assets of that company were invested in railroad securities, MT. F1ske added that We had been very much wor- ried about the railroad situation because of the deficits shown in the returns of tho operation of the railways, and we were delighted when we read Section of the Cummins bill which in effect directed the interstate commerce commission to create zones, or groups, of railways, and to make rates that would return mini mum of 5lk per cent on the value of the railway properties in the zone or group. There had been opposition to this section, and we owe an everlasting debt of grati- tude to Senator Underwood for the viz ous fight he made for the enactment of this section. The Metropolitan Com pany, of course, is never in politics, but as I understand the situation in Ala bama, the division seen in the north se- tween the democratic ard republican pol itics is negligible here. The questions which have divided democrats here have become closed questions, and we sincerely hope there will be no doubt of the re- al of Capotor TTndnrvQOOd.
 'sThe upwards of 800 OOO,oOO invested in railway securities is really the property of 16,50o, 900 of policyholders. There Ere over 1Oo, 600 policies in force in the dis trict represented at this meeting, being the central and northern parts of Ala bama, and these policies represent 75,cOo individual lives. These are all interested in getting the railroads on a solvent basis, as the companys holding of rail- way securities is the property of these 70 900 residents of Alabama.
 Tn standing up for Section 6, Under wood was representing the policyholders of this state. He has been strong sane, courageous representative of Ala bama in Congress, and in the Senate; a man of great ability, with a national rep utation, and I sincerely hope there will be no doubt that he will be kept in the pcsition where he has been of such in estimable service to the state and the country"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-02-25
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
VICTIM OF c1RcuMsrANcEs

A VICTIM OF CIRCUMSTANCES Learned economists, tell. if you can. What will become of the white collar
 man. Long has he struggled to make both
 ends meet And the sum of the matter is crushing
 defeat. His clothing is shabby, he needs better fare, His face is picture of hopeless de-
 spair: His wife and his children he's forced
 to deny Full many a comfort that money might
 buy. And what only adds to the weight of
 his grief. He sees little chance for speedy relief The plumber rolls by in a high-pow-
 cred car, serenely inhaling costly cigar. The brickIayer says to his tailor. "old
 top, Six suits of the best that you have in
 the shop" But the white collar" man he gets
 poorer each day And wishes the flu would come take
 him away.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-02-25
THE AGE OF SWIFT

 medals We shall have to reject all tI foreground of gartered knees and starr breasts. powdered wigs and laced coai and take this murky background as ti true substance of the times. Here are manners, tastes, opinions, social sens Here is the measure of the mass, it's mic ality and it's public conscience. This hal mad. and before the end wholly ma Irishman, this reverence of St. Patrick glowering and gibing like a hankman his hideous task, is the true historic Nothing can excuse him but his age, al that not wholly, for we must believe the are more effective agencies of social T form than the mere stirring up of t refuse of the gutter.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-02-25
THE SILVER LINING

From the London Answers.
 Life had become very hard for Mrs. Slcpton through the thriftless habits of her husband They had had to move to woman even had to go out to work.
 But she didn't fret; she wasn't that kind. She always put bold face on things.
 You must feel pretty miserable in thfs poky place, after the houses you're used to-, said neighbor sympatheticany.
 Well, I'm quite happy here.' retorted Mrs. Slopton brightly. "In fact, I'm hap pier here than I've been for years. You SC, my husband can't throw me down the cellar stairs, like he often used to, because we haven't any"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-02-25

"A bolshevik leader is dead
 T suppose a monument will be sreet ed to his memoryT'
 ''Oh. yes. His grief-strieken follow CTS are already discussing plans. The have about decided on hfe-size fs'I ure, standing on . soap box, with granite bomb placed at each of th| four corners of the pedestal"
 PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-02-25
SOMETHING MISSED

"Do you remember the first balloon you ever saw"
 "ouite we'll" replied the elderly gen. tleman. Those were the happy days. but I've always felt that fate cheated me out of thrill that was my due"
 How so?"
 T never saw a helper get tangled in the balloon ropes and go soaring toward the sky, suspended by one leg. while the blood of 5000 spectators at the county fair froze in their veins with horror
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-02-25
nErAcHEp ArTrTupp

What sort of fellow is Blibbsr' "A distance optimist-"
 T don't quite understand
 "One of his favorite remarks Ia. should worry about the starving A menians."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-02-25
High Cost of Living
 Unknown in Australia

A N "Anzac" veteran, on busi- GA ness trip to America, describes Australia as a land of promise for Americans unable to cope with the high cost of living.
 "In almost any part of Australia" he tells a reporter of the Chicago Herald and Examiner, lone can ob- tain a fine six-room bungalow in a good neighborhood, with a well-kept garden, for approximately seven dol lars a week" Occupants of stuffy flats who are paying from fifty dol lars a month up for the privilege of squeezing themselves and their fami- lies within narrow walls might we'll grow envious while thinking of that bungalow in Australia. A home, and all for twenty-eight dollars month.
 A six-course dinner, the Austral- ian declares, with two kinds of wine, can be had in the leading restau- rants of Melbourne for seventy-fivs cents. As travelled persons know, Melbourne is the finest city of the Antipodes. The food served in it's fashionable restaurants compares with that to be found in the large hotels of the United States.
 Australia is great wool produc- ing country, where the best tailored
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-02-25
swx1MMlAaueeD
THERE'S A LIMIT

From the Wilmington News-Journal.
 Once in while this winter, we have smelled the odor of a polecat in this mans town, and we keep patient. but when one of the office boys comes in with perfume on his hair. we cut loose.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-02-25
A SELFISH THOUGHT

Henry" said Mrs. Dubwaite, T say a perfect love of a hat in miliinsr' window this morning
 T hope you will not disillusion ySur self,e said Mir. Dubwaite.
 What do you meanT
 "Yon know very we'll that hat vii cease to be perfect love when yo buy it."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-02-25

L&4] O1NbAF41 14N VI LIAM AAO be found to give the promotion of the conservatory consideration.
 The development of high-class music is making rapid progress, With national conservatory in op- eration, mighty impetus would be given to the cause of the most pop ular and humanizing of all the arts. Senator Underwood of Alabama ane Senator Smith of Maryland were among the fifteen democrats who voted for the conference report on the rail- road regulation measure. The name of Alabamas junior senator has loomed large in the solution of the great rail- road problem.
 Police raided Chicago resort in the early hours of the morning and found twenty-four men around a green table with their hands clasped as if in prayer. The police were not at all impressed, and the wagon was soon full of gentry who didn't look at all like religious zealots.
 One of the manifestations of paranoia, says Vice President Marshall, is a con- v!ction that the sufferer himself is right, and all who disagree with him are his personal enemies Let's see. How many people in public life are victims of pa- ranoia?'"
 A writer in a Washington newspaper wonders if MT, Bryan would bolt the dem ocratic party in case the democratic nomi- nee were named by Wilson. Probably not while MT. Bryan regards himself as the democratic party. # % # An Ohio man went home and threw the pork chops against the ceiling. He was 1 sentenced to spend one night in a hotel Travelling men will do well to find out the name of that hostelry and avoid it. x # # According to the wet point of view, a gallant stand for self-determination has been made in northern Michigan, which the foes of personal liberty call a whisky rebellion" 1 # x + After having been more or less of a worthless parasite for centuries, the house cat may become a valuable fur bearing animal, with feline pelts selling 1 for S1. .25 each
 # # # 1 C1emenceau isn't afraid of being as- ! sassinated in Egypt. The Egyptians don't know him very well. Otherwise they never would have tried to bluff the | Tiger"
 Enemies of Colonel Harvey-and he has d AeW-Hlh not oNerlooh the lft SuDScrlp- tions to his weekly, alleged to have beer paid for out of the Newberry slush fund.
 * * *
 One of Gaby Deslys' lovers, a French nobleman, has come to dry America tt forget" It's strange he didn't remain in France and drink ''zee" absinthe.
 
 With all due respect to the late Ad miral Peary, some of the chill of tn frozen north seemed to have entered hi veins. He was a cold man.
 # x #
 Lord Roberts thinks the Turk shoult leave Constantinople, but it looks nov as if the Turk would remain there in definitely.
 While South America fights anarchy, i may have the consolation of knowini that the rest of the world is doing like wise.
 The Irish ballad continues popular il this country, in spite of the way mos Americans feel toward the Sim Fein.
 * * *
 In her race for Congress, Rose Paste Stokes naturally expects to be arrested now and then.
 <. | *
 Lenine wishes all the world at peace It's beautiful thought, but is it prac tical?
 < x x
 General Wood in civilian clothes lock like perfect stranger.
 THE SILVER LINING
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-02-25
NOT sERIousIY TROUBLED

NOT SERIOUSLY IRUUbLbU
 "Did you hear about that French wal bride who had nervous prostration be| cause of the high cost of living an| American extravaganza?
 "Yes, but she's only one among sev1 eral thousand All the others seem | be bearing up remarkably well, con sidering how much we've heard abou French thrift"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-02-25
Member of the Associated Press

The Age-Herald is the only morning and sunday newspaper in Birmingham carrying the Associated Press ois- patches.
 The Associated --ress is excluslVely entitled to the use for publication VI all new dispatches credited 10 u VI not otherwise credited in this pSpel and also the local news pupl7nsu herein
 All rights of republication or spseA~- AtHnatches herein are also reserved.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-02-25
CHANGE FOR PROFESSORS
,o NashviIle Ranner.

F,rom the NashV1IIe Banner.
 A gunman, says the Birmingham Age Herald. is paid as much for committing a murder as some college professors get in twelve months. Why not advise such professors to take on murder as side line? Very little time or experience IS required.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-02-25
CRUSHED

''Now that have spoken my mind, I feel better" said Mrs. Twobble.
 T can't say I do, my dear" replied MT. Twobble. '1n the course of your remarks-I will not say they were un- deserved-you made me feel like a member of the cabinet whose mind re- fuses to go along with that of the President"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-02-25
GO SLOW

The product of
 A kitchen "stilf Is more than apt
 To make you ill
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-02-25
v v Michigan Rebellion" Is Quickly Ended

1H HAT wet flareback, otherwise U the whisky rebellion" in Iron county, Michigan, which promised so much fun and excitement, is over.
 The population of the county, largely foreign, quickly succumbed to Uncle Sam, represented by the doughty Major Dalrymple, federal enforcement chief for the central western states, and his eighteen as- sistants, armed to the teeth" It is said that the mere sight of strange automobile was sufficient to make the frightened populace throw up their hands, while white flags made of pillow slips, sheets and towels, were flown from windows and house tops. The major went prepared to ''clean up" the recalcitrant county, the first that has openly defied the government to enforce the eighteenth amendment. It looks now as if a whiskbroom would do to finish the job. The armed forces of the United States-always a phrase to inspire terror-will not be needed. Iron county has shouted ''kamerad" rather than live up to it's ferruginous name which denotes strength and inflexi- bility.
 States Attorney McDonougn and other officials who helped him to retrieve wine confiscated by federal officers, can explain it to the judge" They are no longer heroes and will not be permitted to pose as martyrs.
 It is true the victory of Major Dalrymple and his "army" was com plete, yet, from a strategic point of view, the plight of the vanquished might be worse. It is related that large quantities of homemade wine and other liquors were hidden in caves, in mine shafts and tunnels and even in the underbrush. Iron county may be once more submis- sive, it's brief essay at self -determi- nation at an end, but there will be solace after a while for those who know where the stuff is stored away.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-02-25

Washington Bureau, 500 DaVAnS0A building. 4-oot
 European Bureau. 10 klns Covent Garden. London. w. C- L' .,a
 Eastern business office. Worio o,-'ass pu4as ing New York City: western Ths & c. Beckwith Special Agency agents Tor foreign advertising.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-02-25

Be cheerful; wipe thine eyes1 Some falls are means the happier to
 arise. --CymbeIine.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-02-25
Renewed Interest in
 National Conservatory

0 Fletcher of Florida for the es- tablishment of national conserva- tory of music has lain dormant for some time, but the Musical Alliance of America is creating renewed inter- est in the movement
 If all the music forces of this country will wake up and indorse the measure earnestly, something will come of it The enterprise is feasible.
 MT. F1etcher's bill does not call for an appropriation; only the moral backing and supervision of the gov ernment. Opponents of the measure who have questioned the constitu- tional right of Congress to found a conservatory have overlooked that section of the constitution which de- clares that among the powers of the federal legislature is "the promo tion of the progress of science and the useful arts"
 John c. Freund, president of the Musical Alliance, is calling upon all associations and individuals inter ested in music to write to Senator Fletcher assuring him of their hearty approval of his bin.
 The main outlines of the project are a central conservatory at Wash ington, and regional branches in the east, the middle west, the south and in the far west, each branch to have complete faculty. Presumably the eastern conservatory would be situ- ated in New York; that of the mid dle west in Chicago, and that of the west in San Francisco.
 The location of the southern con- servatory would be problematical. Senator Fletcher would use his influ- ence no doubt to establish it in Flor ida. Birmingham would be an ideal place for it, but all details would be left to the board of regents, of which the President of the United States would be the head
 Congress is crowded with impor- tant work, but time enough should
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-02-25

Iall-wool suits sell for fifty dollars. They would cost in America, or even in London, perhaps one hundred and fifty dollars, and the quality might not be so good, since the gentleman quoted says they can be worn for ten years. In Sydney, Adelaide, Mel bourne, Queensland and other large cities admission to the leading the atres is only one dollar and quarter, and the prices are often reduced to fifty cents for the best seats in smaller towns. Contrast these prices with those of New York theatres, or the rates in other American cities. Famous English and American play CTS tour Australia, as well as the larger theatrical attractions of every description.
 Maids can be hired for five dol lars week; a collar made in Troy, N r., sells for twenty cents; eggs are twenty-five cents dozen and Scotch whisky can be had for one dol- lar and thirty cents quart. T. . 4o 4L Loro |, o -opsa of TO- moteness about Australia. It is a long way from New York, or Lon don or Paris. There was a time, and not long ago at that, when the courageous traveller who set out for this little known continent was viewed with awe and there was some doubt of his ever returning safely, l but it does not seem so distant now, the steamship fare is not insur- Imountable and with the high cost of living knocked into cooked hat, lharassed Americans may well be tempted to pack up forthwith and seek a refuge from profiteers and profiteering in the land of the bush
 man and the kangaroo.
 # # #
 Commissioner Taylor
 1 Takes a Good Step
 IAN the initiative of John H. Tay- NV Tor, commissioner of police, the City Commission unanimously re- solved yesterday to revoke the license of certain rooming houses on Second
 avenue, north, which had been re-
 ported by the police as places of ill-
 repute. Other rooming houses in this
 section of the city suspected of evil
 will be under strict surveillance. A
 general cleaning up will be in order.
 While the majority of rooming
 houses are conducted with the ut
 most propriety and are worthy of the fullest respect, those that are not cast blight on their neigh
 bors. Every residence building or . every avenue should be morally clean, and Commissioner Taylor is to be strongly commended in endeavoring |, to make it so. The sign, Furnished Rooms, , should be an assurance to every de- l cent man or woman that such house is fit for persons of refinement and , the highest grade of gentility. . If dives continue to exist in slum
 districts, let's have none of them ir streets supposed to be respectable
 x # $.
 Renewed Interest in
 National Conservatory THE bill introduced by Senator N Fletcher of Florida for the es-
 tablishment of a national conserva- tory of music has lain dormant for some time. but the Musical Alliance
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-02-25
wa. RemnrkabIe Tribute

That was remarkable trlDute which Dr. Scale Harris paid to pr. R. c. Buckner of Dallas, Tex, at the Hill man dinner last week." said Rev. w. P. Price pastor of the First Baptist church of Bessemer. "Dr. Harris as chairman of the near east relief cam paign, had invited the pastors of the district to meet him at a lunch. In paying a tribute to the work of the ministry, he stated that last April he had to go to Dallas to see the head of one of the great hospitals, and was met at the train and driven to the First Baptist church. It was on a Sat-
 urday afternoon, but business had been suspended and, said he, it was the greatest funeral I ever attended, both as to the number of people gathered, the quantity of floral offerings and the procession of cars. I asked, and who is this the city is so honoring, and was informed that 1t was Father Buckner,' an humble Baptist preacher, who had given the best part of his life to the care of orphan children"