The Washington herald., 1920-10-30
new VOTER OUT
FOR GEN. WOOD
Old Lady in Maine Thought
No One Else Was
Running.
BY LABERT ST. CLAIR.


Washington writer. tells indicates
that interest in the Presidential
election in Maine this year among
the women certainly is rampant
While so3ourning in Maine re-
Gently, Todd met an old woman who
Dragged that she was so old that
she had worn out four sets of mail
order house teeth. but she allowed
that she certainly was going TO walk
TO the polls this fail and cast her
vote.
Well" Todd inquired, for whom
are you going TO vote. auntyg"
Good Heavens. boy" she ejacu-
lated. you don't mean 20 tell me
that anyone besides Gen Wood Is
a-running!'
One Of Bill Bryan's neighbors, out
in Big Bend. Neb- who does not
take his politics quite as seriously
as Bill, having a farm or two on the
side, recently ran for constable and
got showed under. But defeat did
not embitter him. When the time
came TO file his statement Of election
expenses. he put them all in and
then some. This excerpt from his
post-mortem statement proves he
I
Lost l,34s hours OF sleep think
ing about the election. Lost two
front teeth. and a whole lot Of hair
in a personal encounter with an op-
ponent Donated one beef. four
shoats and five sheep to a country
barbecue. Gave away two pairs OF
suspenders, four calico dresses IS
cash and thirteen baby rattlers.
Kissed lz6 baDies. kindled fOurteeh
kitchen fires. Put up four stoves.
Walked 4,O7s miles. Shook hands
with g.50S persons. Told I0,IOl lies.
and talked enough to make in print
1000 volumes. Attended sixteen re-
vival meetings and was baptized ,
four times by immersion and twice
some other way. Contributed $50 to
foreign missions, and made love TO
nine grass widows. Rugged forty
nine old maids Got dog bit thirty
times, and was defeated"
Although young Teddy Roosevelt
hardly measures up 10 the fghting
qualities of his renowned father.
he strives to and is a pretty good
chap withaL He can spin a yarn
with a laugh in il, once in a while.
and he is not averse to letting the
I laugh be on himself, as the follow
ing story he recently told illus
trates:
When the census man called at
the Roosevelt home, recently. young
T. r. had just gotten out OF the
army and was without any par
ticular employment Hence, he hard
! ly knew what TO claim as a pro-
fessiOn.
i thought Of telling him / was
81
welt, but l had separated from that
occupation before the war. Then
thought OF saying / was a soldier,
but ! was too darned glad that the
war was over to say that. couldn't
say l was a politician, for although
am a member Of the New York
State assembly, I have not yet had
enough experience TO class myseIf,
as a politician. And then ] looked
out Of the window Of my home, and
seeing my few acres OF pototoes and
other fOodstUffs, / proudly an
nounced that was a farmer.
{ But my wife overheard me. Hav-
/ ing had to manage those acres of
potatoes and~ other fOodstuffs her
self while ] was overseas. and.
later, while / was attending the
assembly, she refused to let my
statement stand without certain
. reservations
You had better change that a
little she told the census agent.
Just put the colonel down as the
husband Of a farmer"
Charlie RawsOn, Republican State
committeeman from Iowa. owns sew
eral large factories and. like all
large employers OF labor, he had
his own problems during the war.
He finally hit upon a scheme OF
transferring labor to haunts that
! suited it When. for instance, a
worker became angry, disgusted. or
discouraged at one Of the Rawson
plants, Rawson would not FIRE him.
but he would load him into an auto
mobile and take him to another
plant where he stayed until he was
happy or again dissatisfied, but al
ways kept on the Rawson payroll.
: Particularly would Rawson not per
nit his Irish foreman to FIRE any
one.
That was all right during thS
war, but now that peace is here.
1 the foreman teels that he should
exercise his old perogauves. SO. re
Gently, he came to Rawson and said:
The wars over, isn't it, Mr..
R8wson?"
Yes. but why do you ask that"
/ RawsOn replied.
Il just want to say that I'm sick
OF this war game OF pattinE every
body on the back. i want to fire
a few OF these fellows" the fore
{ man responded.
/ Rawson laughinCly cancelled the
war order and the foreman feels
like a boss once more.
I 'RawsOn, by the way, volunteered
d. his services in the war and went
abroad. when a preacher recently
assailed him as a corrupt boss"
he dug up the fact that the preacher
drew an extra $500 a month for
talking patriotism during the war.
When Gov. Cox's train was
wrecked down in the Southwest q
few days ago. one OF the political
writers with the governor hastily
wired his wife in the East as fol-
J lows:
i slightly cut by broken glass"
! Not having heard Of the wreck,
and thinking the case desperate,
{ the correspondents wife imme-
I diately replied:
Too bad Am sending leathep
| covered flask by special delivery.
/ nop't sit down on this one"