davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Omaha daily bee., 1920-01-11
Blue-Eyed Hostess
Likes ''Pretty'' Part
But Not Brown Ewes
"Rrown eveSV

DiOWh SySoi
Miss Doris Goethe, convention
hostess of the Chamber of Com
merce, paused in her reading and ad-
dressed her stenographer:
do my eyes show any signs OF
changing color?" she queried hope
fully.
The stenographer gazed into Miss
Goethe's very blue eyes, and being a
quiet stenographer, said, mo, why?
why! Read this!" exclaimed the
blue-eyed hostess Indignantly pass
ing Community Service" a small
magazine published at Birmingham,
Ala, to the stenographer for inspec-
ton.
Three full pages were devoted to
the system of welcoming wives of
men attending conventions in Oma-
ha, as innovated by Miss Goethe.
1t was a very complimentary arti-
Gle, both to Omaha and to Miss
Goethe, and advocated that the
same system be started in Birming-
ham.
But paragraph, describing Miss
Goethe as "a pretty brown-eyed lit
tie lady" had spoiled it all, accord
ing to Miss Goethe.
Not that Miss Goethe was angry
about the description. Oh! My no!
1t wasn't true, of course, not even
the pretty" adjective which had
been so cunningly inserted, but then
well, it wasn't so bad to have 'em
write things like that about you.
1t was the brown-eyed part that
was so absurd. Brown eyes were
nice if you had 'em-but it wasn't
so nice to have everyone who read
the thing looking at you aid discov-
ering that you didn't have 'en.
This is the way Miss Goethe ex-
planned her objection to the article,
and her stenographer, who has
brown ewes agreed with her.
Omaha daily bee., 1920-01-11
BY E. z. TALKER.

Cut out the criticism of your own
city"
Sure! ........
Don't squawk when the bold thug
>raps you on the conk or pokes q
gat under your beak and relieves
you of your watch, cash and sundry
other valuables. ...
Say nothing to the police about
the horrid happening. The resulting
publicity might hurt the fair name
Of our city,>
And it wouldn't scare the thug
anyway.
Above all, be courteous to the
intrepid burglar that invades your
home. Assist him in his search for
valuablcs. Or play. the Victrola to
entertain him while he ransacks.
Provide refreshments for him, if
possible. Neglect nothing that will
prevent his gaining the wrong i'm
preston of Omaha hospitality. As
sure him that his considerate visit
will be kept absolutely on the Q. T.
They're Select Crooks.
Remember that Burglars are the
upper crust of crookdom. They
move in the elect circle with yegg-
Omaha daily bee., 1920-01-11

Lewis lived in Omaha and explained
the extent and use of the city di-
rcctory and the telephone directory.
He lives in Nebraska and he
wrote to me once. / want his ad-
dress so | can find him. the man
from West Virginia added.
"All you know is that he lives in
Nebraska and you want me to give
you his address, is that what | un-
derstand?" the postoffice man asked.
Beaming With Hope.
The stranger nodded affirmatively,
hrs tace beaming with hope.
Mr.. McGovern finally succeeded in
making the man at the window un-
derstand that while the Omaha post
office attaches are posted on many
subjects, there is limit to their wis
dom and that limit stops before it
reaches knowledge of the address
CT everybody in Nebraska.
The West Virginia man was dis
appointed, but convinced.
Omaha daily bee., 1920-01-11

showed regret for the rudeness of
her parent.
General Singer never speaks of
the incident nor of the romance
which has made Of him a solitary
man. Fame and power are his. but
he goes through life without the af-
lection of wife and children.
He has, however, seven little nice
cs and neplews, children of his sis
ter. On them he lav;shes his affec-
ton, going there for Sunday dinner
aud supper and sometimes taking
with him l0~cents worth of sweets
for the lite ones.
Omaha daily bee., 1920-01-11
Leffingwell Expands On
Real Virtue of Patience
Exemplifies Propoundings With Personal Conduct
Young Son Cannot Abstain From Mrthful Quips
Madame Shoots Holes In Philosophy as Usual.

scenery and averted the possibility
of his family complaining of ennui,
tedium or anything of that nature.
This autocrat Of the evening meal
was taciturn when he took his seat
at table, which was a mental con-
dition indicating that something
was coming. There was something
on his mind.
The Leffingwells were growing
impatient, something akin to the au-
dience that waits for a belated per-
Torrance to start. They were wish
ing that the show would begin.
"One of the causes of unrest in
this country is impatience. Letting
we'll commenced. Nationally, we
are impatient; individually, we are
impatient. We are not patient
enough with each other.
One of Cardinal Virtues.
Patience. ! contend. is one Of the
cardinal virtues. ! am going to be
an apostle of patience and ] want
the Lefhhgwells to be exemplars of
this virtue, SO that all of the neigh
bcrs may catch the inspiration and
it will spread until this country is a
nation of patience"
Pa, l believe ] heard some more
coal falling in .'ie cellar" Willie
remarked, impertlnently.
Mrs. Lefhngwell cast a reproving
glance toward her son.
Lefhngwell, appearing like pa
tience on a monument, continued,
undismayed:
The Madam Yawns.
"We have not learned the real les
son of patience. Many of us are
ready to fight at the drop OF a hat,
not thinking that with patience and
forebearance all of our ills will be
healed in the fullness of time. We
grow impatient at the government,
at the telephone service, the high
cost Of living and we are impatient
if we have to wait minute for
street car. Impatience reduces our
efficiency and impairs our physical
fitness"
Mrs. Lefhngwell looked at the
clock and yawned.
Henry Leffingwell," his wife be-
gan, with her usual air of fnality.
If l were as impatient as you are, l
would take a rest cure. If you don't
find your shirt the moment you look
for it you give ghost dance or re-
mind one of a bowling dervish. You
couldn't thread needle without
letting out an assortment of Ian
guage not permitted at the Friday
Morning Culture club"
Merely a Suggestion.
"Be patient, ma, be patient" Will
lie urged.
Before you start your national
campaign of patience, Henry, l
would suggest that you go down
into the basement and set those four
mouse traps without suspending the
rules of English"
"Yes, pa, sing us song while you
sekthe traps" Willie interposed.
well, if you insist, Mrs. Lef-
hngwell, l will set the traps for you"
meekly replied the autocrat of the
supper II
Omaha daily bee., 1920-01-11
By EDWARD BLACK.

Mrs. What's-Her-N Name tripped
with alacrity to the Leffingwell lodge
to pass the time of day and to show
her new house dress which she pur-
chased at sale where she met an
old friend whom she had not seen
for eight years and with whom she
neighbored during the primitive
days of her married life.
What do you think?" the caller
asked, her respiratory organs dis
closing high nerve tension. Some
thing dreadful has happened over
at our house and l don't believe you
could guess what it is. My man
and had a quarrel and it was just
too awful for any use. 1t wasn't
my fault, either; he started it. I
had to come over and tell you
about it, because / had, to tell some
one.
"We quarreled over having our
photograph taken together. He in
sisted that / should wear my new
hat and ! argued that l would look
better without my hat, and then he
said I should have my photograph
taken alone, and then l cried and
told him that he would not have
spoken that way eight. years ago
when we had our picture taken at
summer park where he bought
four ice cream cones for me the
same day. Do you think l should
let him have his way?"
"Treat 'Em Rough"
Treat 'em rough IS my policy.
Don't you yield an inch and he will
incline his ear to your way of think
ing" Mrs. Lefflngwell replied. THE
trouble is that you have nearly kill
ed your man with Kindness. Make
him get up once in while and cook
his own breakfast and then he will
change his tune"
"But he is SO good to me at
times" the neighbor added. YES
terday he set a MOUSE trap for ME.
Wasn't that just grand?"
Mrs. Leffingwell failed to see any
thing grandoisc in the feat Of man
setting mouse trap for his wife, but
she did know what would happen if
Henry Lefhngwell demurred when
there were any traps needing atten-
ton in the Leffingwell inn.
Defend the Household.
During the previous night, when
the Leffingwcll home nest was as 81
lent ~ Z churchyard, and the hour
was 4 p. m, an unusual noise in the
basement aroused the lady of the
house, who had been reading of gen
tlcmen burglars, highjackers and
other nocturnal visitors,
She aroused her soul mate, whose
snorings reverberated through the
stiltness of the night. She COM
smanded him to arise and defend the
household. The noise was caused
by the falling of coal, but Henry,
valiant knight Of the manor, exam
,ned the premises and reported "all
clear"
Yon didn't say how you liked my
new house dress" Mrs. What's Her
Name remarked. as she turned her
eteps honneward.
Henry Lefingwcll came into the
Omaha daily bee., 1920-01-11
Some Toasts.

A good rustic toast is likely to be
concerned with beef and beer, like
that comprehensive toast of Area
dian wilds, THE Nine B's," which
is. as much as to say: Bakers best
bread, butchers best beef and brew
er's best beer. In another form it
runs: THE inside of loaf, the out
side of Jail, pound of beef steak
and pot of good ale The plow
is toasted by an eni gina: Life be-
fore, dead in the middle and body
and soul behind" The shy carter
gives for a toast: "Scorched bread
and we'll buttered," adding. IF that
amt toas.. I'm bothered" To
farmers wife, according to the Lon
don Morning Post, it is polite to
raise your glass with the words:
"Ere's good 'ealth to ZEE, mum, an
may yer allus ave the strength ter
push about same as yew does now.
and set a pattern t all the farmers
wives way round"
Omaha daily bee., 1920-01-11

men, bank robbers and other high
class artists. Your particular guest
might even be a member of the
exclusive "Furlough club" Imagine
what false impression of our
splendid city he might obtain if
you were inhospitable enough to
turn him over to police or to violate
his confidence by permitting the
news of his visit to become public
property!
Omaha's reputation among the
better class of crooks would be
Omaha daily bee., 1920-01-11

ruined. They might even ostracize
us, desert their rich harvest here
and turn their attention to other
fields.
What a pity!
How can you expect old H. c. L.
to maintain its standards here when
you are ungrateful enough to ex-
pose the exclusively exhorbitant
prices that some profiteer has per-
mitted you to pay? You aren't sup
posed to let strangers know what
you pay for things.
Omaha daily bee., 1920-01-11

that might interrupt the gay carnival
of crime. Tactfully avoid criticism
of inefficient public officials. You
might hurt their feelings Sympa-
thize with them. They are doing
their best to cover up their rotten
ness and will appreciate your CO.
operation.
Try it and attempt to convince
everyone that there is nothing
wrong with your town. If you sue
ceed you may be able to convince
yourself that it is o. k. If other
Omaha daily bee., 1920-01-11

people believe in your town, you
will too.
1t isn't what is dene, it's what
they get away with. Horribleness
and disgrace do not lie in the condi-
tons themselves, they lie in the pub
lication of the conditions. The old
Spartans had the idea down pat.
Any sort of crime was a credit if
you suppressed it. But it was a dis
grace to be exposed. Keep it quiet.
Smile serenely and suffer in
silencei
Omaha daily bee., 1920-01-11
hats a secret.
Don't Say a Word.

Stand back of our institutions.
Make our penitentiaries popular by
standing so far back that you ex-
press no criticism of the increased
enrolment in the "furlough club"
Imagine the gratitude of it distin-
guished members if you considerate-
ly say nothing about their initiation
into the popular organization.
On with the play! Say nothing
Omaha daily bee., 1920-01-11
Any Old News for Sale Today?

VotdHtUU 1NHB ISttT.1
We are still in the market
for country news and will be
pleased to have you send in
news from your district or your
community. Send in a batch of
news and we'll write you as to
the details Of furnishing it reg
ularly. Pont Printing Co.
Omaha daily bee., 1920-01-11
Twice Baked.

Now is the season given o'cr to
shifts and sneezes.
The biting wind is followed close by
balmy breezes.
But these are happy days for us,
For every poetizing cuss
MAY write and sell to magazines the
same old wheezes.
Cations Magazine.
Omaha daily bee., 1920-01-11
Begged for Squad Of
Machine Gunners to
Protect Valuable Packet
"Call for the suicide SQUAD"

CAL Tor the SUICIDE squad.
Traffic Officer Ford last week en-
tered the army recruiting building
and issued a call for squad of
machine gunners to accompany him
home with a dozen eggs. A large
rope was tied around the small box
to prevent a possible mishap to the
valuable package.
They are not "a hours old and /
~auId turn on the gas if / were to
lose or drop them." said Ford.
Omaha daily bee., 1920-01-11
Early Romance Casts
Cloud Over the Life
OF General Stinger
Love Like That of Great Italian
Poet Nipped BY Rude Conduct
Of Girls Father.

The romance OF General Singer
occurred during the first years after
he came to Omaha. He was then
engaged in the practice of his pro-
fession.
The young woman upon whom he
Omaha daily bee., 1920-01-11
S. 0. S.!

Notice-The party that bor-
rowed my wheelbarrow from
Mrs. Gilson's house last June
will please return it as | need
it. ]. ]. Davey.
Omaha daily bee., 1920-01-11
MHITF-FROST

John w. Frost and Sessie White
were granted license to wed in the
Douglas county judges Office last
Wednesday.
Omaha daily bee., 1920-01-11

before he RECEIVERS his presence of
mind, bowls over two or three
languid minions of the law in an ef-
fort to hurry out on the run"
Omaha daily bee., 1920-01-11
Usually It's Wet Goods.

(Stromsburg Headlight)
Roy L. Ericsson departed for
St. Joe and other points Mon
day, in the search of more dry
goods. Roy has the only dry
goods store in town now and it
keeps him jumping under ex-
isting conditions to get hold
of enough goods to take care of
lis trade.
Omaha daily bee., 1920-01-11

Ought to Be a Happy Marriage.
Pleasie Rather was the name of a
bride married by County Judge
Crawford last Thursday.
Omaha daily bee., 1920-01-11
A TRICK CAR

(Brock Items In Nemaha County
Republican,
Last Saturday Nate CARRIER
when coming to town in his
Ford near G.. e. Gilberts home
had the car turn over. The
radius rod had broke and the
car tipped over landing partly
on a fence post which kept the
car off the ground enough SO
Mr.. CARRIER, could crawl out.
The Gilbert road must be hoo
dooed" as this is the third acci-
dent to happen along there dur
ing the fall.
Omaha daily bee., 1920-01-11

"Bozo knock out Ben the
Jewish Kid in the fiveth round
and know he is the champion
of the wether weight the next
fight will be at Year-Old Kid
Omaha daily bee., 1920-01-11

DREAMS OF YOUTH.
AS pecked out on our typewriter by
Bozo the night messenger boy, who
Is prohibited from using our
fypewrifpr \
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1920-10-15
PLAN REPUBLICAN
RALLIES IN VERMONT
Principal Towns Three Brat
tlebOrO Men,

BURLINGTON, Oct. 15.-Announee-
ment is made from the Republican state
headquarters in this city that Frank ii:
Knox of Manchester, n. H., president of
the Union-Leader Publishing company
of Manchester, will be one of the out-of-
the-state speakers who will address Re-
publican, rallies in Vermont during the
coming campaign. A concerted effort is
being made to get. Governor Calvin Cool
idge of Massachusetts to come to Vermont
for a speaking tour, but this has not been
arranged up to this time. There will be,
however, one or two other speakers from
outside the state. 1t is planned to hold
Republican rally in every city in the
state and in as many of the larger towns
as possible during the time between now
and election day.
a number of notable speakers from
various parts of Vermont will take part
In the rallies. Among those who have
already been secured are: Senator Will
liam p. Dillingham;, of Waterbury: Con-
gresham Porter II. Dale, of Island Pond !;
Congressman Frank l.. Greene, of st.
Adams; Frank r. Barber, of Brattleboro !;
John S. Buttles, of Montpelier S. s..
Gushing, of st. Adams; w. 5. Fenton, of
Rutland: Benjamin Gates, of Montpelier !;
L. W. Gibson, of Brattleboro; John w.
Gordon of Barre; f. Il. Howe, of Ben
nington; Rev. Frazer A1etzger, of Ran
dolph; H. R. Kingsley, of Rutland; NJ.
p Maurice, of Brattleboro p. M. NJ.
Phelps, of Fair Haven Homer L. Skeels,
of Ludlow Charles f. Novak, of Rut-
land George w. Stone, of Vergennes :;
Fred B. Thomas, of Montpelier; w. r..
Tracy, of Johnson William Wishart, of
Barre; Frank w. Agan, of Ludlow; Rob
ert w. McCuen. of Vergennes and ii. i.
O'Brien of Rutland.
The speaking campaign will open Oct.
90 Definite dates have not vet been ar
ranged with the various cities and towns
where the rallies are to be held. The
dates will be announced as soon as pos
sible
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1920-10-15
HUNDREDS OF WOMEN.

nowadays are entering the professions
or business world and go to work day
after day in bad health, afflicted with
some female ailment, dragging one
foot YEARLY after the other, working
with an eye on the clock, and wishing
for closing time to come.
Women in this condition should
take Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound, made from roots and
herbs. 1t has brought health and hap
piness to more women in America than
any other remedy. Give it trial. =
Adv.
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1920-10-15
The "harmattann

The name 'harmattan" has been
given TO a dry, hot wind which periodi-
cally blows from the interior of Africa
towalsl the Atlantic during December,
January and February. Often within
an hour after the harmattan begins to
blow, green grass in Its course is dry
enough to burn.
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1920-10-15
CONSOLIDATION
| OF n. {. RAILROADS
Two Plans Under Discus
sion By Railroad Men
and Industries
TWO TRUNK LINES
E ALSO ADVOCATED
Railroad Traffic Managers Favor Con-
s0lidatiOn Interstate Commerce
Commission to Consider Matters -
National Combines Planned.

BOSTON, Oct. 1.-two high Off
Gals of the New England railroads
spoke in favor of some form of con-
solidation of rail lines in this district
at a special meeting of the Massachus-
etts Chamber of Commerce called to con-
slider the transportation situation. Vice
President Edward G.. auckland of the
New York. New Haven and Hartford
railroad expressed the opinion that
greater efficiency would result from a
union of that road with the Pennsyl-
vania railroad and from a similar join
ing of the Boston and Maine and New
York Central systems.
This plan, referred to as the trunk
line proposition, had previously been
discussed by members of the chamber,
together with a plan for consolidation OF
all New England railroads into one sys-
TEN. President Percy r. Todd of the
Bangor and Aroostook railroad favored
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1920-10-15
A Nursery King Who Lived.

"Old King Cole" beloved of the
nursery, was British king who lived
about A. d. 800. His accession was
hailed with Joy. To this day a large
earthwork at Colchester is called
"KIng Coles Kitchen"
The Brattleboro daily reformer. (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1913-1955, 1920-10-15

Order received by the grocer over
the phone: "Please send us 10 cents
worth Of animal crackers and take out
the elephants as the baby is afraid of
them. Boston Evening Transcript
Capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1919-1980, 1920-06-29
Federal Aid In
Rehabilitation
Work Assured

| Federal aid in the vocational re-
Mobilization of Oregon workmen in
jured in industries will be extended
to this state as soon as plans formu-
lated at a conference here Monday
are approved by the state board for
vocational education and the state
industrial accident. commission and
a proclamation accepting the federal
aid is issued by Governor Olcott. At
tending the conference yesterday
were L. c. Carris, representing the
federal department for vocational re-
habilitation, J. A. Churchill. execu-
tive officer for the state board for
vocational education, and representa-
tives Of the state industrial accident
commission. Under the federal act
passed early this month Oregon will
receive $500 this year and $500
each year hereafter with which to
supplement state funds for the voca-
tional training of industrial cripples.
The federal money is to be distributed
through the state board for vocation
al education.
Capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1919-1980, 1920-06-29
Card With "Oregon"
:: As address ::
Comes To Salem Club

"Chamber of Commerce, Oregon"
was the address on postcard from
RoXbury, Mass.-and Tuesday morn
ing it was delivered to the Salem
Commercial club.
Looks pretty we'll for u.s." an Off
cial observed. II guess Salem must be
looked on by the postal authorities as
the center of the state"
A request for literature from Ore
gon was made on the card which was
from Miss Laura Nichols of RoXbury.
KINDLY send me some pamphlets tell
ing me of Oregon she said.
The literature will be forwarded.
Capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1919-1980, 1920-06-29
Four Killed In
Hotel Collapse

Buffalo, N. Y, June 29,-Four per-
ed number injured today by the col
lapse of the walls of the Sutherland
hotel a lodging house.
firemen and policemen. Rescuers re-
ported hearing cries of others.
The owner of the place said eighty
men occupied the rooms last night
but he did not know how many We're
in the building when it fell,
The lodging house was q four
story brick structure.
Capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1919-1980, 1920-06-29
.eaSSeSSmentS
Are Denied In
Portland Case

| The city of Portland has no author
improvements even through the enact
ment of an ordinance after the eXpira-
ton of the ten years to which i is
limited for such reassessment by the
provisions of it's charter. Such IS the
gist of an opinion written by Justice
Bean and handed down by the Oicsun
supreme court this morning in the case
of David Brown and others against the
city of Portland The same opinion
also applies to appeals Instituted by
George H. Cook and others and >. ana
Rebecca Hochfeld and others against
the city of Portland involving similar
reassessments in all of which the prop
'ertv owners involved are victorious
through the action of the court today.
Other opinions handed down today
are:
Belle Steele, appellant, vs. ID. D.
steele: appeal from Marion county;
suit for divorce. Opinion by Justice
Bennett. Judge G. c. Bingham re-
versed.
V. f. Martin VS.. The Gauld company
appeal from Multnothah
action to recover damages for
breach of contract. opinion by JUS
tice Benson. Decree of George w.
modified by direction to en-
ter Judgment of non-suit as to second
cause of action.
]. M. Brown ct al, appellants, VS..
CITY of Silverton appeal from Marion
suit to enjoin city of Sllverton
rom collecting a re-assessment MADE
,or street improvements. Opinion by +
Justice Harris. Judge Percy R. Kelly
affirmed.
G. H. Russell, appellant, VS.. c. sam
smith: appeal from Crook county; mo-
ion to dismiss appeal granted in opin-
on bv Chief Justice Mcbride
C. j. Allen VS.. s. l.. Magill, appel
ant: appeal from. Wallowa county;
,etition for rehearing denied in opin-
on by Justice Benson.
Petitions for rehearing denied in
tondall Lumber & Timber company
S. Beedle; Hammond Lumber com
any vs.. public service commission;
illamook county VS.. Johnson.
Capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1919-1980, 1920-06-29

mittee on rules this afternoon decided
to recommend that speeches In nomi-
nation Of candidates for president be
limited to twenty minutes and those
nominating candidates for vice-presi-
dent to ten minutes, allowing three
seconding speeches for presidential
candidates and two for vice. presiden'
tia2 candidates none of which shall
exceed five minutes. 1t also was ree-
commended that no delegate be allowed
more than 80 minutes on any question
without the unanimous consent of the
convention.