Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1920-01-09

81 TIE SAGE OF THE SIDEWALK

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81 THE SAGE OF THE SIDEWALK
A Gifted Ma.
NV husband Is gifted man.
I wish you knew him well;
His talents and his gifts, ! ind,
Are dihicult to SPELL
For he has mastered many arts. q
That l can never learn.
No matter how much pep I use,
Or how much gas" burn.
He understands his Ford 90 we'll,
He makes al hills on 'high."
And coasts down every one at night,
And never lifts an eye
He knows Just how to patch tubs.
And how to place shoe;
NY husband IL the smArtest man,
I'm sure ever knew.
He knows Just when puncture's due
And when a spark plugs bad
And when the time is opportune,
My husband can be mad.
Ny husband knows Just how to swear.
When swearing Is required;
Alas, that's just another art.
That have not acquired
And thus his gifts and arts would run
Throughout ad infinitum;
I'm sorry I've begun,
Because.
haven't time to write 'em.
-CELESTIA.
Editors note: The Sage would admire to
hear from more wives whose husbands gifts
are rare and refreshing
Will King an Iowa boy, is said to have
reached the legislature when he was 81. be-
cause he had the courage to enter pro-Ger-
man meeting made up OF his own friends and
relatives, and denounce them fercely as trail
tors to their adopted country.
The devil hates the man with a rubber
spine He smells bad burning-Hill's Golden
Rule.
Too Busy to Read.
He is a familiar type-the fussy. fretful
man who imagfnes that he is about the busiest
fellow in town. He often dumps In the waste
basket unwrapped copies Of business or tech
pical magazines that contain valuable articles
bearing directly on his problems He fondly
believes that he is too busy practicing to
bother with what others are preaching"
The trouble with this type OF man is that
he has not learned that the real executive Is
the man who so plans his work as to leave a
little time for reading and planning. There
are shoals and breakers ahead when the &C
emulation of new ideas ceases. The man who
declares he has no time to read is unconscious
ly advertising his small caliber. his slavery to
detail, his arrested development.-Printers Ink.
Ordinarily when woman asks her husband,
do you know what day this isl" he founders
badly, and finally gives 1t up But the answer
is ridiculously easy. and every husband should
commit it to memory. 1t is the anniversary
of their wedding day. JAY E. HOUSE.
The chemical student had 'mistook" suphu-
rio acid for water. and these are the lines
placed on his tombstone by his fellow students:
Here lies William johnson,
Now he is no more.
What he thought was H20
Was HI S "a.
Ladies Home Journal
OF George Horace Lorimer, irwin S. Cobb
says in part:
"Lorimer has no friils and but few fads.
He likes double breasted sack coats, large bru-
nette cigars, his friends. chocolate bonbons his
family, the Grand Canon of the Colorado, three
cups Of coffee for breakfast and rhododen-
drons on his front lawn. He collects oriental
rugs anu CHECKS more ClQner cleckS
have passed through his hands than through
the hands Of any living man. He believes in
human beings, THE Saturday Evening Post"
and large tips for walters. He dislikes poor
cooking, posers and persons who try to slip
across the clandestine free ads in the guise Of
literary contributions. He might have been a
pork packing baron, but chose to take I'D
writing for trade. He has shown that a
great business man can be great writer and
that great writer can be great editor. He
is still great business man, and some day
he may choose to show the world that he is
still great writer. There is plenty Of time,
he being yet on the sunny side Of 81"
"And what did you most enjoy in France.
madam he inquired Of the lady whose hus-
band had made great deal Of money
well, think it was the French pheasan
singing the 'Mayonnaise'"
The wife Of a certain minister was rreatlv
disturbed by the bishops orders to transfer
her husband to another charge She had re-
| Gently planted thriving garden, when there
came the bishops orders to change. "Oh.
gracious me-" sobbed the wife. 81 pray for
the day when l die and go to heaven where
| l shall never see or hear tell Of bishop