davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-07-17
ABILENE MAN TO DELIyFR
co a a L \ 60 :. - :. =

Austin. Texas. July 1.-THE CONF
mencement address at the graduation
exercises at the close OF the sumner
school Of the University of Texas on
August 81 viii be delivered by Dr.
o. H Cooper, OF Simmons college.
Abilene.
The independent-reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1909-1955, 1920-05-20
DEATH OF CECIL II. Gates
Highly Respected Young SkOwhegaI
Citizen Passed Away Monday

The death OF Cecil Il Gates, a high
ly respected young citizen Of Show
hogan occurred Monday morning after
period OF failing health which has
covered several months Memorial
services are to be held today with
Rev. George Merriam oil the Bethany
Baptist Church officiating and the
body will be conveyed 10 the South
side cemetery for interment. Mr.
Gates WIS the son OF Mr. and Mrs
Simon Gates and was carpenter hy
trade Following his marriage To
Miss Gertrude Whittemore. an accom-
plished young lady Of this place, the
couple established their home in Bos-
ton but several years ago returned to
Skowhegan While living in Boston,
both Mr.. aud Mrs Gates affiliated with
the fremont Temple Baptist church
and since their return have Worship
ped at the Bethany Baptist church
here. They have both been very
helpful members Of this parish attend
ing the Sunday School. Mr. Gates he
ing also a member OF the Bethany
brotherhood Of that church. The de
ceased was 81 years old last October
and was born in this place. There
H. one surviving brother. Carroll
Gates Of Massachusetts, \ large
measure of sympathy is extended To
the bereayed widow and parents in
their afflietion.
The independent-reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1909-1955, 1920-05-20
Missionary Meeting Held Yesterday al
Madison

Several ladies from the Methodist
church went to Madison yesterday to
attend the Augusta District Annual
meeting of the Woman's Home Mis-
sionary Society. Dinner was served
in the church at midday and the al
ternoon session program was as 1ol-
lows: Singing of hymn. followed by
devotional service led by Mrs. Nettie
Merrill; greetings, Mrs Mary w.
Kennison; response, Mrs. Viola Smith,
appontment of committees; roll call
of auxilitaries, Mrs. w. II. Kennison.
corresponding secretary; roll call OF
Queen Esthers. Miss Ethel Dorsee; re-
mort of children's work. Miss Ella
Kennison, report Of Mortified Confer
ence. Miss Elsie Perry; Our District,
ar a Dish of P's" Mrs. II. G. McGlaui-
lin Berlin II. n. formerly of Skowhe-
gan; symposium How to Revive an
auxiliary" Mrs Annie Nichols oil
Skowhegan. Mrs. Addie Bristol of An-
gusta. Mrs. Flora Tozier of Fairfield.
Mrs. w. Libby of Winthrop; election
of officers; singing hymn; supper IN
church dining room. Evening SEES
sion at 7.2O o'clock Prayer Rev. Nm.
Wood, vocal solo, Victor Wren, with
violin obligato by Mrs. Alice Rand, ad-
dress The Challenge Of Great Task
Miss Mae Smith of Portsmouth, y. IL
motion pictures, THE Good oamafl-
fan" Offering: hymn; benediction.
The independent-reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1909-1955, 1920-05-20
DEATH OF PROMINENT CATHOLIC
Elaborate Funeral Services Yesterday
in Memory OF Joseph IL. Groder

Joseph H. Groder. prominent
Catholic resident whose home was ON
South street, died Sunday after sever
al years of failing health at the age
of sixty years. He was native of
Canada but for the past forty years
had lived in Skowhegan and for some
thirty years of that time had been an
officer in the church OF Lady Of
Lourdes. where he WAS a deVout com
municant He was also one of the
pioneer members of the Catholic
Order of Foresters and was highly es
teemed in the community. He was
formerly employed as carpenter I'M
til i'll health incapacitated him for
work. Besides widow there are
two surviving children: Ernest
Groder, member of the firm of fash
& Groder, proprietors of the South
side Market and Miss Anna Groder,
stenographer at the Savage Manufac
turing plant.
Funeral services were held yester-
day morning with leeve du corpse at .
o'clock from the house, FIR. j, l.. A
Renaud parish priest at Our Lady of
Lourdes officiating. The body was
then escorted to the Catholic church
where a solemn high mass of requiem
was celebrated by FIR. Remand assist
ed by FIR Farley of St. Sebastian Pa
IRISH. Madison as deacon and FIR.
Beaudin of Sacred Heart Parish, Wat
erville. as sub deacon The church
choir sang under the direction of Mrs.
A. b. Borden. The remains were TAX
en- to Calvary cemetery for interment.
Lord & Caswell we're in charge of the
funeral arrangements.
The independent-reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1909-1955, 1920-05-20
Trade in the New
Store at {. Madison
Nete the following:

Nete the following:
Eorosone pcr gal. ............ zoe
Picked Salmon per lb. 49,. zoe
Pure Cider Vinegar, per gal. 49c
Canada Peas, per lib. ......... lOc
Post TOaSticS ................ lac
SPECIAL THIS WEEK ONLY
Pure Lard, per lb. .......... 9c
Soon ............. 6 for Zoe
Stripped Cord per lib. ......... 1Sc
American Queen Flour in Eighths
per Barrel ............... Sl3.5O
The independent-reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1909-1955, 1920-05-20
Let Mrs. Mary Graves Tell You Hell
Poultry Raising Experience

Three years ago bought an Incuba-
tor this year I've made money. Rats
stole my baby chicks. Didn't know
until friend gave n e cake Of RAT
SNAP. Next morning found two dead
rats in hennery. Kept finding them.
Suddenly they disappeared altogeth-
or. It's the only sure rat killer. Take
Mrs. Graves advice. Three sizes, 25c
SOC, 500 Sold and guaranteed by
Bowman Hardware Co. w G. Lord, j
F. Pooler Lashon & Butler, John Cur
rier, Steward & Smiley Grist Mill, Far
mers' Union, fash & Groder, S. w
Gould.
The independent-reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1909-1955, 1920-05-20

We Also Handle Shoes
The independent-reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1909-1955, 1920-05-20
child IS
nerves

During childhood years the nerves
are delicate and easily disturbed. :.
Sleeplessness, restlessness, and
o+her nervous attacks often indicate
worms. Worms are a common dis
order with children and weaken the
nervous system if not attended to
promptly.
Medicine ready at all times. A good
dose taken at the first sign of any
snch trouble, will quickly establish
a normal, healthy state, improve the
digestion, and purify the blood.
General health will be improved and
many serious attacks warded off by
small doses, taken regularly.
You are taking no risk in using this
we;l-known household remedy. which
has helped the digestion and health
The independent-reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1909-1955, 1920-05-20

Bangor Commercial Ito new sub
scribers) soc year if you take the
lndependent-Repo
INDEPENDENTS REPORTER co.
The independent-reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1909-1955, 1920-05-20

If both children and
adults for over 60
years. You probably
have many neighbors
who have relied on it
all their lives. A large
bottle, containing go
doses for Soc. Get one
today from your dealer.
OFF" Medicine Co.,
Portland, Maine.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-12-23
ASKING ABOUT CAKES.

"SoUTHERNER." Raleigh. n. G.,
who US hos very fond OF IL. and =,
inauires. what is a cskic2 We don
have them down this way
Well, Southerner, the Washington
cake-cater Ia dvindiing in numbers
You probably have them In Raleigh,
but under another name. The simon
puro cakie, not tho imitation, Is an
ultra fashionable yuungstcr whose intnd
when nc has any, runs 10 freskish
dressing and cvcry-nipht dancing and
his pMmach to cake, ice cream and
drug store sweets lie congreestes AZ
busy corners for rirtstion with passing
airls who admire his type. lie spends
what littIo money he has on fancy
dross. and "porks' his way among his
sirI friends for movies, dinners, etc,
frequently borrowing from them and
never paying back. Pork'ng If just
a Disguise for dead beating,
Tho Flossies OF lifo admire a cake
cater because he looks sweet In hts
nIfty Uttlc clothes and because hos
such y "hcavenly dancer The girls
tbensclNoS mako good salarlcs and
don't mind spending some OF " on the
,,Lirs ~ have their company ~
dances movies. ctr.
Tho r,ul cskic IL Just SHY Young
s,rr. Ito often outgrows II and becomes
. inc man and good husba nd. u" u
an inhabitant Of all LARGE cities and
has grown In numbers since prohibition
came no CONSUMES sweets instead OF
bocse; that much TO his credit
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-12-23
WANTS RING RETURNED.

During the summer I kept company with a
school chun and rings were exchanged
AS summer passed. evenings spent only
in the front yard. No smusemcnts whatever.
soon | tired of his company, and no words
are passed. Being only sixteen years feel as
though should like your advice how to OBJ
tain the ring again. Mother has already return
ed his. Ny brother has asked for my ring but
has always been put off by excuses.
MICKEY.
Get mothers permission to write the boy
polite note asking for the return of your ring,
and remind him that his was returned
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-12-23
Bv DAMON RUNYON.
Copyright. 1900

Mr.. Mencken, or Mr.. Nathan, l
never can tell one barrel from the
other when they fire simultaneous
ly in their brisk magazine, the
Smart Set, asks this:
III, born over again, you had
the choice of being any other man
living IN the Uorld today, aOhich
man Mould you select? / ask the
question purely out of idle curi-
osity. As for me, I'm darned II l
car pick one"
The interrogation intrigues me,
as Mr.. Mencken, or Mr.. Nathan,
would say.
Rolling it around in my more
or less circular mind, find, like
Nh. Mencken, or Mr.. Nathan, that
/ am unable to make a choice. /
can think Of any number of men
/ wouldn't want to be, including
the Kaiser, but no particular indi-
vidual.
However, | can think of COM
positc Of a dozen men living to-
day that would suit me right down
to the ground. Born over again.
I'd like to be that composite man.
Let me tell you about him.
He would be young, say in his
early twenties, and, of course, sin
gle. He would have the wealth Of
Vincent Astor, the social entrec
of the Prince of Wales, and the
physique of Jack Dempsey, who
stands six feet one inch, and
weighs 1876 pounds, plus all of
Jacks punching power.
He would possess Babe Ruth's
knack of hitting runs, iris Speak
er's skill at playing the outfield,
and George Sisters prowess at
first base. Naturally, he would
pitch like Alexander. He would
have the polish of John Drew, be
able TO sing like Caruso, and acj
like Jack Barrymore.
He would have Jim Thorpe's
football ability, play the piano
like Paderewski, and the violin like
Mischa Elman. He would have
the dancing agility of the Mosconi
Brothers, and be empowered to OK
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-12-23
is THERE A SANTA CLAUS.

We take pleasure in answering at once and
thus prominently the communication below, en
pressing at the same time our great Sratltica-
ton that it's faithful author is numbered among
the friends Of The Sun:
Dear Edtor-I am eight years old
Some OF my little friends say there is no
Santa Claus
Papa says IF you it in the Sun it's so
please tell me the truth. is there a Santa
Clans? VIRGINIA oHANLoN.
'.115 West Ninety-fifth street
Virginia, your little friends are wrong They
have been affected by the scepticism of scepti-
cal age. They do not believe except they see.
They think that nothing be which is not
comprehensive by their little minds All MINDS
Virginia, whether they be mems or chiIorens :.
are little. In this great universe of ours man
is a mere insect an ant, in his intellect, as COM
pared with the boundless world about him. as
measured by the intelligence capable OF grasp
ing the whole of truth and knowledge.
Yes Virginia, there is a Santa Claus He
exists as certainly as love and generosity and
devotion exist, and you know that they abound
and give to your life its highest beauty and JOY.
Alas! how dreary would be the world II there
were no Santa Claus 1t would be as dreary as
il there were no Vfrginias. There would be no
childlike faith then, no poetry, no romance to
make tolerable this existence. we should have
no enjoyment, except in sense and sight. The
eternal light with which childhood fills the
world would be extinguished.
Not believe in Santa Claus! You might as well
not believe in fairies! You might get your papa
to hire men to watch in all the chimneys on
Christmas Eve to catch Santa Claus but even
if they did not see santa Claus coming down,
What would that prove? Nobody sees Santa
Claus The most real things in the world are
those that neither children nor men can see.
Did you ever see fairies dancing on the lawn?
OF course not but that's no proof that they are
not there. Nobody conceive or imagine all
the wonders there are unseen and unseeable In
tho world.
You tear apart the baby's rattle and see what
makes tho noise inside but there is veil COW
ering the unseen world which not the strong
est man, nor even the united strength of oil the
strongest men that ever lived. could tear apart
Only faith. fancy, poetry love, romance can
nd Nyipw nd nj he
supernal beauty and glory beyond. Is II all real?
An, Virginia, in all this world there is nothing
else real and abiding.
No Santa Claus! Thank God! he lives, and
he lives forever. A thousand years from now,
Virginia. nay, ten times ten thousand years from
now. he will continue to make glad the hear<
OF childhood.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-12-23
Luke ii:2O tells where the
shepherds returned. ful; of
praise for what they had Heard
and Seen. OKLAHOMA BILL
THE THyEF-s POOR TASTE.

In a big printing plant Of Washing
ton there is a proofreader expert in
Bible matters. In drawer OF his
desk he kept late edition OF the
Bible and a pint of whiskey. Here's
his wall:
The world breaches enlightenment,
and invests millions in public and
private libraries for the improvement
of mankind. Yet some thief broke In
my desk and took the liquor, leaving
the Bible alone. He certainly had
poor taste"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-12-23
Beatrice Fairfax
Advice.
OsN
Advice.
WHAT is ITs
DEAR MISS FAIRFAX:

DEAR MISS FAIRFAX:
We have been reading letters IN The Times In
your column about girls deeply IN love with GER
tain fellows. Now, Miss Fairfax, we would like
to know what love is.
FROM TWO WHO WOULD LIKE TO KNOW
As we'll ask me what the moon 10 made of.
There are more than 81 varieties of love- and
more definitions for 1T than words in the die
tionary. What is one persons love Is another
PERSONS sorrow, and vice versa.
When Dan Cupid shoots his love arrows at you
and hits YOU then you too will try to find your
own definition of love. Love is too intangible
for to be defined. only the doctor for those
whom Dan Cupid wounds.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-12-23

With the yeggs working three eight-hour
tricks. the police blotters read like Margot
AsQuths diary.
The crime reached new high water
mark, although other kind of drink is
causing it, With the country in the last stages
of a Democratic Administration. everybody is
suspicious of everybody else. a bridegroom held
up his wedding ceremony yesterday while he
blew a police whistle and counted his money.
This deporable condition of civic unrest is
what European diplomats label the entente
dale. The city fathers will establish a munic-
ipal curfew. compelling all the proletarist to be
in the poorhouse by twilight
Curfew was first introduced by William the
Conqueror in England. He ordered all lights
and furnace fires out by s o'clock. indicating
that he a landlord in his heart
Every yeeg is Santa Claus with sand in his
sock. A fractured skull or two amt so bad. You
can cure every one except the FIRST. But COM
Polling every citizen to stay home at night will
soon put the United States in the power of the
graphophono needle trust
Having n sock knitted over your bean with a
blackjack is rather rough embroidery. But
New Yorker stays home unless he is expecting
a visit from tho sick committee of his beneficial
lodge. Insomnia is no disease in a barroom.
poker game or cabaret. Insomnia is no disease
any place except at home.
Between getting cauhfiower ears listening
to the Wits relatives and inheriting fractured
toupee on the street is about even break.
The who wrote Home Sweet Home"
never there. curfew law would punish the
wrong parties.
There have been thousands OF black jack fes-
tivsls recently. Every ngN is Tag Day with
a chunk OF lead pipe.
All citizens have been compelled to buy two
hats. One to wear with lump and one without
Leaving tho question up to plebiscite OF rob-
bed Inhabitants would probably result In curfow
being abolished. The streets are dangerous at
night But most any bird would rather prefer
ten years in a hospital to the deadly monotony
OF n happy home.
And the strangcst Of all curfows is the ono
the Blue Lawites now ringing on the Liberty
Bell
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-12-23

officer. DO you think | am doing right in giving
him a chance And IL we should marry do YOU
think We. could get along on what he gets?
Would you Advise him to stay In the navy and
work himself up still higher. which he says
he can do By the other fellow not writing !
have almost lost my love for him. and think
he is going around and having a good time,
as ne tells me UNDEClDE
You seem to have your line out and intend to
hook the biggest catch-ln cash. hope the
line breaks suddenly and gives you a jolt to
awaken YOU TO the fact that q happy marriage
is never based money or anything else ma
tcrial.
II YOU could only sonst tho misery in tho
many letters / get from young girls who have
married Tor material reasons you would begin
at once to look for your dream man, and would
wait for him -----.--x $780,
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-12-23
Once-OVerS,
Copyright 1920 International Feature Service, Inc.
BROADEN OUT.
ny I MI1NDY
BY J. J. MUNDY.

you opinions nablc you will
till get rid Of sef-conce
While think ideas always right won't from others
The concctcd has Of improving the forming
of sout through his correct deductions
But this of knowledge will not take far.
sufficient matter which
position relative to all problems,
from within.
cfpcascd conyiconwil listen
be convinced He has but
mind working for hint
The with mind well balanced allows for mistakes he
might make by getting the best lights from others which he
the pcpcxng and then Sits and weighs
finally conclusion which not puffcd because
he credit where due
Trust such a somewhere being right
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-12-23
Who Would You Be?
If You Had Your Choice, What Person Would You
Choose!

Mr.. Damon Runyon, who writes articles serious and
light the Hearst newspapers, contributes classic to
recent issue of the New York American Although ne
treats his question humorous vein Mr. Runyon opens
whole vanoad of thought Read what he writes and then
answer his question for yourself
WHO WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE?
Bv DAMON RUNYON
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-12-23
KISS OR NO KISS.

I am young girl eighteen years OF age, and
as I have no one from whom / could get advice,
would like to know If you consider It proper
for girl to kiss n follow goodnight. have
never kissed a fellow. and would appreciate your
advice very much.
Ny idea Is not until you engaged but
every one seems to think it so peculiar because
l haven't. BROWN EYES.
Never mind what every seems to think.
Keep your kisses for the man you marry, and
you'll be so glad that you did
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-12-23

DEAR MISS FNINFNN;
am part way engaged to n man out Of the
city. what | mean by part way, Is that II he
makes good well in that time Zone year, he
has changed his jobs about four limos and some
times II lis three or four weeks before no answers
my letters. I think the least follow do
In write twice n week, If he cares, and think
you will agree with me there.
In tho last two months have mot some very
nice mon. Don't you think have n right to go
with whom please? ono OF the fellow go out
with once I'm u while thinks awful lot Of
me- and he said no wished he had good n
chance to win the ono away from here.
| told him he still had n chance lie wants to
give me ring. The only thing that stops mo
Is he Is In the navy He is socond-class petty
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-12-23
4 SALE PROBLEM.

A man sold his horse and carriage
for $3.50. On the horse he lost 20 per
cent, and on the carriage he gained
rs per cent. Did he gain or lose, and
how much If As of what he paid for
the horse equals 2-3 of the cost Of tn e
carriage? J. l..
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-12-23
HOTEL Advertisement.

This hotel VIII be Kept by Inc
widow of the former landlord. MI
Jones, who died last summer on
new and improved plan. w. L.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-12-23

Having received a punch in the
eye because Of my eagerness to read
H and S and the aforesaid blueness
being still there will some G. w. u.
medical student give me perfect
ly good 81 prescription to get rid
of it as one Of them did for the
eyebrowless lady? B. w.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-12-23

Wherever / take my wife some one
tries to fiirt with her. Wherever she
takes me they try to flirt with me,
but we don't bother with trifles. We
have had barrels of fun in our three
years of married life. Cakes and
simps never annoy us. We worry only
when we miss Fl and s. which is very
seldom. Two more votes for :he
whole back sheet and a smaller waste
basket. HAPPY TWO.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-12-23
SHALL SHE FLtRT.
DEAR MISS FAIRFAX:

DENIt MISN Il
Is there any harm in flirting? | have no boy
friends except the neighbors, and the minute
smile at a fellow the older people begin TO talk
SWEET SIXTEEN.
1t is not good form and often proves harmful
FOR Sweet sixteen to flirt with boys she has not
met II is great fun for her to flirt with those
whom she has met, and will be greater fun for
her TO flirt with her husband, when she gets one.
There Is great run in flirting. In fact II is a
fine art. But don't cheaper II on boys whom
YOU do not know.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-12-23

There are many pretty war
workers in Washington, but kindly
take notice of the many beautiful
and charming girls in WOODWARD
& LOTHROP'S, giving special men
ton to those on the second floor,
book and art departments. ZIP.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-12-23
MEMORIES.

Two little skunks hid under fence
As an automobile went by,
Ono little skunk dropped his head
And a tear rolled from his eye.
why do you weep" said the other skunk,
why do you trembIe and quaker"
The smeli OF that automobile" sstd he,
"Is like mother used to make"
ii. A. b.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-12-23
I'll say that ear puffs are nice
and warm on cold days, whether
boys like them or not.
CATHY H.

The judge Of a local court, admin
istering the oath to a boy of tender
years, said: Have you ever taken
an oath? Do you know what swear
ing is?'
The lad responded: Il ought 20
know what swearing is. I an your
caddy at the Chevy Chase Golf
Club" JUDGE FROG.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-12-23
GO BACK HOME.

Answering mo. So" who criticised
Washington boys as SLOW" num-
Der OF Washington girls suggest that
the critic go back TO New York. as they
are perfectly satisfied with our boys.
BLUE EYES" and X. e. $. give the
same advice.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-12-23
POOR ME.

Latin makes me nervous.
English makes me sick;
French-Oh. Lord preserve us.
II makes me think I'm thick.
Geom, lust drives mo crazy.
Gymnasium makes me lame
The teachers think Tn lazy.
But must get there Just the sam
l. b. A. MUTT
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-12-23

i've seen wrecks. plenty Of wrecks, out on
the stormy sea,
But by Heck, rye never seen Rex, like the
Knicks made the r. A; c.