davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1920-09-07

like the one gave him last Xmas with
the buckle shined Up and I wish now 4
had marked Il last year. They was iouI y
ties como by the via OF the nail aha ~, !,
one OF 'em / will have TO put DINNERS
on Il or the public will 60 blind. 1
got at the least 200 cards which says
on 'em 'Twishin' You A Jcvie! Xmas
and A Elegant New years years ., ana o,,y wnlo, .,,x
which ever got anything by the via OF
,otshin was a young felier by tho name
Joe siye Jeanne S,t for the .s.sn Example; s,spS
diamond eronen 5 h, PIN rs wn10n snd Ire Soy could
take IL in a dark room and read with
n. not that we have to, and IN return
abe rive me a china set Of dishes TO go
in the show case which 9dorns ,,i the Sn,,Sf nmSf
OF our mutual castle. 1 VIII no ooupt
have n lot Of rare sport these long
winter nights playin' house with them
dishes and expect the doll whion goes
with the set TO arrive at any minute,
Off enough presents to have to hire no
Burns detectives to watch 'em, my baby
present me with a smokin' Jacket which
has got four more colors IN II tnan
ever knowed existed. As ne sotne.m,n 4, M !
reaiiy n remarkably thing for him TO
walk downtown by himself, sneakin
away no doubt whilst Jeanne wssn't
| lookin' and pick me out ths yaShe- ny
| must of done that, Joe, because they
was a card come with 1t which says le
| ITO Father-From Little WILSON, NOW
Joe, when you figure the age OF my
baby is about 21s years IN the rouno
| numbers and then stop 10 consioor tha'
| he went out and bought that smokin
| Jacket all by himself and on the toI
| OF that feat was able to write tne caro-
that went with It, you VIII see tnae n, ns
is some infant and when ne grows W
will no doubt be the sensation OF wal
street at the least Now as 70 the
out how to smoke It as yet. but 1t, Is
nrob'iv to be cut up and used in pipe
| In The lew OF tobacco and from the
| perfiIme of the average pipe / am posi-
| tive that smokln' jackets must be th'
fuel used therein. , 49,, ,.u.
| Colonbus discovered America because
| he wasn't there to see It claims 1 an
crazy when / tell him what my baby
| done and he says the chllds mothel
probIy procured me the gift but hat
| IL fxed up to seem the other way OF
| account Of how cute II looks. Well. yol
| can see that Is nothin' but professiona
| jealousy Joe, because Eddie is fathe
himself and they amt no half-dozen Q
| his kids has got brains enough TO equil
a gnat, hey Joe7
/ have not yet gave up all hope wiz
regard to the Xmas presents Que me, De
cause I figure that the bulk of the peo
pie which enjoyed my generosity ha
no idea I wouldst recall them aroun'
| Dec, 25 and they are now dashin' madl
| around tryin' to pick up things here ant
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1920-09-07
3!afathS

ANpERsoN.-sept..b g.. MARY F., widow
q, Amor Anderson. Relatives ana friends IN
yi,ed 10 funeral, Thurs. 2 p. M, from her
late residence, 924 Pine st.. Darby. fa' Int
prisHasTE riBsHasTEaEL.--sept. 4, MARY NJ. widow Of
DANIEL Baterei. Relatives and friends are
invited TO funeral services, Wed. .; M. AZ
her late residence, lOo Hudson ;.,d. g., ,,,av
tor City N. J. Int. private Frienas may
oeII enIEcK'-om tTe. On September 8. 1920. LLOYD.
son OF Daniel and Anna Beck. Helatives
also TagSs,rss GsrpS. 20 pss Ssaviess
%senssaay "r.nss syesidenco sSsa Parrish st. Inter:
ment at Arlington Cemetery. FRIENDS may
'all alnlo1s,~on dnSsf.yo sr's,pss ssps g. EDWARD ponEs
re.ihenec Of his son-in-law. william r.
irwin, 2oss g. seth st. 1nterment private
Viewing Tues. eve. -,,oro,,. s.,,~,,.r
snS Emma S ylcFes P2ssn sssS sssfhs' a
Relatives and friends invited to funeral;
Thurs. D. m. parents residence SoeS
oueen lane Falls Of ,Ss schRStdE Rsdeemer p m
IN Int Vest Laurel Hill Gem. Friends may
1922 snS sThyEaTEE ffI.5a. al,
Main isy p s,.' Nh North Wales. Pa.
BRINGHURsT;6assRt =. formerly ra,rs 81 rs; .
ATT of TtS s. Patrick snG
hrnis Hogan. Funeral Wed. $3.50 a: M.
from residence Of her sister, Mary HOGAN
iaoo a. Bonsall st. Solemn mass OF reduien
at st. Edmond's Church 10 q. m. Int. Holy
|feiy f9fJrLER. - Sept. 4. JAMES BUTLER,
oaeS "a years, Relatives and friends invited
| 20 funeral wed. $40 q, m. Garret ave-.
Rosemont, Pa. Solemn requiem mass 10 a.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1920-09-07

there for me which cost at the least
within SIS of what gave them. I have
done the same things manys the time
myself, Joe. Let us take for the ex-
come through at the twelfth hour with
a cigarette container for me and I had
10 hop out in the middle OF the night,
you might say, and purchase him
they had forgot TO put in the stripes
and had to wait for them.
Well. Joe, they was ope Xmas present
I got from my beautifully wife which
I will recall for some time, as II come
quaintance of the divorce lawyers, q
thing have always try to avoid. This
gift was delivered n coupla weeks be-
fore Xmas and was as muoh OF eur
was to the bartenders' union and also,
Joe, ] am IN the position to say that II
was the same kind of a surprise
Tho present was imported from
France and was in the shape OF Jeanne,s
family on her mothers and fathers
side.
joe one morning I was peacefully
dreamin' Of the various things q sue
cessfully movin' picture hero like me
will select TO dream of and I was Just
in the midst Of sternly wavin' aside the
charminiy princess which craved TO wed
me- the while remarltin' like they did in
the times of Looey the IA, What the
no. my lady. Od's blood, sdeath ana
whoops my dear Strike me pink, but
my heart is anothersl" and things was
breakin' like that for mo in this dream
joe when I was woke up by somebody
shakin' my shoulder from the one side
to the other. As the result OF this. in
against the side of the bed and. I leaped
to a sittin position and let forth the
followin' whilst I waved a imaginery
sword, which is the kind that Congress
give me for what I done in France.
POUNDS and tho etc, varlet Unhand
me or the chances ie I'll run you
,, through, oh yea the verily!''
Joe, the night before had read words
to that effect to the accompaniment OF
eatin' welchs Rabbit in q book called
"On Account Of Monte Cristo." Well
with that l open tive of my eyes and
there is Jeanne bendin' over me and
iaughin' II they Is anything prettier
than Jeanne in the mornin' or whilst
we are on the subject, in the afternoon
or evenin', either. Joe, then so far
have missed II
"Edouard!' she says. still gigslin'
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1920-09-07

I ret what 10 known as aghsst, joe
and sink back on the ped with q moan.
For a long time Jeanne hed been
threatenin' TO bring her family over
seTs staIi her eq' on % before ~ by either gifts or
threats of reprisals and this hero come
like a shower of bricks from the clear
T. 4, TS.s rSss. !, sSy' hsq tRs minute inSss
Viola |" says Jeanne. Non non'
non. non Toto is le chen" -.
what the--what in the name OF
North. Dakota is 2 chienT gaspsl; l,
n dosssvPn,o xy,r Ssfn viii Sdys Se c"ld" ssSn"e'
II amt thinlsin' about no bath now,
I says "This here's very serious 70 me.
] thought you would be the last one OF,
earth to double cross me, Jeanile,, ant
70 to work and drag your family over
herel Just what is they figurin' on dom
in American"
claspin' her hands. They are going 70
At that / let forth one wildly yell and
fell back fat on the bed. coverin my
head with the baths robe so's to sure
~ p"come CO +" says Jeanne, shalsin' me
I'VE must be quick or we will miss those
Il wish your family. had missed itr
| 7 hollers ''You must have got the idea
| that you're wed to J. p. Morgan can,
afford to keep all them relatives ano
that chien thing of yours. Send 'om tc
a hotel or the Salvation's Army ana oe
done with itg' s,
Jeanne very stern. .'and you should Zee
honoured that my, family have consen'
"Yei,Y" I says. well, get this-Har
mony Hall was meant for my home ane
YOUR family hero right now. the same
helm you, which is just the correct
amount. They can come UP and stay
coupla days at the. outside and ther
Won will have to make arrangements Z:
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1920-09-07

what then means those strange lam
guaee to Jeanne2"
BY that time, Joe. was fully awake
and a glance around the room ehowen
me I was, safe in my own home = and a,.a
not battlin with bevy OF gay muskera
whats the idea of wakin' mo wher
I was in the midst of bein, the hero OF
historically romanoe7" I says.
you l,s' ths dolisSiful I surprise. All. oul p
Joe, prepared for the worst When
| ever woman says she has got pleas.
ant surprise for you. watch your step
ri lay eight to flye that salome told
surprise for him right before she de-
manded his head for watch fob.
leapin' from the bed. Don't tell me
Mon pleui" remarks Jeanne, q fisst
of ivory tintin' the rose of her cheeks
Always you think Of the most horrible
thing. Little Wilson is safe, but YOU
must dress quickly for we have to &c
where dye get that We stuffT'
says, still In the clutches of the amaze
Her answer is to dash to, tho ,.phon,
minutes Then she rushes into tn.
huris my baths robe at me.
Hurry" she says. We have bu
say listen" !" l asks, would yot
mind givin' me a family idea of wha'
this boat and river stun Is all about7'
WELL Joe. at that Jeanne comes ovei
and places arm around my manly neck
| Then she releases a smile which ai
usually makes me dizzy and says
"Aveo plaisir We go to that hat pie, ,s,
steamer from bordeaux. Did not Jeanne
say she have the surprise for your
| Toe, begin to fear for the worst
"Who is comm on this boat, hey7'
I says, kinda weak.
Jeanne keeps that smile in high ant
her face lights all UP.
Mon famille," she answers. lie pore
10 mere, le frere, 10 sere!"
Never mind the song" says, an,
try to speak n occasional word Z
English will you? That pore le mer
stun don't mean nothin' to me. VIII
are we gonna greet2"
"Parfait!" she. remarks. "It is the
my mother, my father. my brother. m
sister and Toto arrive today. Now,
not the surprise oharmant?"
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1920-09-07
There's No Base Like Home
By Fl. C. WITWER

fixed millionaire ana both is equal in
the eyes of their fellow citizenn-the
minute they are dead. IL you will de-
yo,e you WITT viii see eI pretty " near every day
where some guy which has tucked his
way to the top of tho heap tells the
world Just how he was able to raise
himself from bein' valet to the COW, ~
Philadelphia or some Of our other farm;
in lends at $3.50 the year, to bein'
now commander in chief Of the 1nsipsl
succotash Foundry at s0ooiOoo q wssm, csss
they is no newspapers available. I will
tell you how all them articles reads,
because ] have made somethin' OF a
study of them In a effort TO find out II
least which had climbed to success that
started life with a college education,
moderately fixed parents, lotta inluen-
tial friends and a good salary.
But Joe, after readin' the confessions
Of about 1000 of our great men l am
convinced that all the things have just
mentioned is terrible handicap to g
youth which is startn' out TO take the
universe and make It like It, 1t seems
that all the education any OF them sue.
cesses ever had was barely enough &c
tell how much is and 2, all their par.
ents was 30 poor that the first time they
seen the almshouse they thought 1t was
Buckinham Palace. thcy went through
to the Norths Pole seem like n stroll
through Central Park, nobody ever
helped them wita as much rs pleasant
grin and fn'ly, through gcttin' up &c
hustle at $3.50 q. m in the mornin's and
studyin' the Lives Of the Saints at nights
instead Of wilin' away the golden hours
at stud poker, they arrived at the top
Joe, none OF them guys has any hesita.
ton about comm right out with all thai
stun whether they done II or not, so
would suggest II you wanna get over
you better quit whatever you are doin
for a livin now and get Job some
where's as a street cleaner or the like &c
start and in no time at all you will
prob'ly have q bankroll which will make
Rockefeller and Morgan go. around
moanin' and gnashin' their teeth.
am a hopeless case myself and have
no chance to get anywheres, because
went rs far as the sixth grade in schoo
instead of not goin' near the joint a'
all and also my parents was fairly wei
Off and never had to work in no stable
or nothin', so you can see my chance:
was killed at the start, hey Joe?
Well, to get away from all this whicr
only goes to show / am gettin' old ant
the etc when 1 commence to nant
around advice, Xmas has came and went
Joe, and 4 has left me as usually with
out the price OF y sunburn in the Sari
Desert. It's n good thing that the fule
tidc is all settled in one day and ain
n Worlds Series or l would step righ
from the festively board into the poor
about six months payin tnstallment col
lectors for the various gifts l lavlshe'
on my so-called friends and my un
doubtedly wife and family. All I go
back for my investment was a belt from
Phil Bloom which looks very suspiciousl!
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1920-09-07

mark them somewheres else TOR the WIN
,ar and there's thatW -,
'e don't like TO be harshly with my ~,
charmin' wife, Joe, but tney s ..u nv'' ~
IKE bein firm o,ss snd loses Ds what what little re,
aet o.ne sbs has for you the minute sne
spec spec .ha sno can % twist her lord and master
nro,,nd her thumb. AS @ rule usuany
give in to what Jeanne wishes. ~. v,,,n S "a
here was one matter l We aeovse sooner
e9 op later later a husband has got to put his
'ees % hat is how it come to the pass that that
Jeanne's family and the chien We uoS
took up hsadaua'rtssSss S sSsy IN viii III be here tii
@ .ne snrn,eriv crowns Prince OF Germany
.ae. ue oiaoted mayor Of London by accIa.
so.s, st,os,on' am nearly crazy, Joe, Iror, I,,
iiatenin. to ali this Jabberin IN fIenc Snn,,
day and night ,SnrS ana OF ali S0Irso Ihnocfin' me
Know "eh have decided TO kill the chien
~ NV earliest convenience on acGnou, =,
~ thss fact that I have got 70 TAKE !,
out for tho airin's every rhor"i" ""'
evenin'. .-rv xmas and 90,
|. - pEo cigars cutter sent you. The
tne @ y.i,o. o1s tine side OF II don't amount
~ pothin' and more than likely was oont
IN the mall. I got your Emas pos,ta ,o.
card on time and 1t certainy was Ttv. Ina
Of e,yoS YOU ", oS course It IS a gift will no,
snoust pnua "a he bothered lockin' up In tht
safe, nase every night or anything like that
hey2 70. have rot 20 &c
| ,,,steir. now and drag that chten around
IN the snow and IL It as much as let
fnrth n sarcastical bark at me l vii
assa assinate II! Yours Truly,
ED HARMON (The Wei
Known Host.
CONTINUED TOMORROW
Copvrioht, 1880, Doubleday, Pdos d 90
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1920-09-07
CHAPTER TX
yhe League OF Revelations
Ninth Inning
In the Midst of My Cellar,
tJorroouv Hall N Y

In the Midst of Ny Cellar,
Harmony Hall, n. Y.
Dear and etc. Joseph-well. Joe. no
st YOU will sasR WITH III. sTrpTis' IN my csisr Tne
but am not down here for the reasons
that YOU prob'ly think, which Is that
have gone TO work and laid In a stock
Sib,fion become the latest state to join
the union. As you know, ! at no time
was a hound for the demoniao rum, only
tnk,n' a few seidels of scotch or the
iike now and then rather than offend a
frieud or the etc. Also when the rat-
Acation epidemic ravaged the country
4 made up my mind would start right
IN 10 shun the saloons instead or waitin
III the doors OF the same was slammsd
tn NV face. But of course IL guy flpds
himself TO be dissatisfied with the liquid
conditions in the United States at the
present he can go to the countries OF
6hode Island or New Jersey both OF
which has taken the stand that you can
lead a man to water but you cannot
make him drink 1t, except as a chaser.
Tho real reason that ! am wrltln this
coal and bottles OF grape Juice with the
conventional three raisins and q yeast
caks inside of them, Is because nave
now became a valet to my furnace which
Hombardier Wells after the English
heavyweight. on account of II always
goin. out This $40 the week chauffeur
which we need the same way neeu a
third ear, claims he was hired as
en- rineer and not as a fireman and II he
wanted to shovel coal for livin' he
never would of wasted his time goin
to night school, and the two maids
simply give vent to hysterically laughter
when I gently inquired would they look
after the furnace. So bein' faced with
q mutiny on all sides. Joe, with the
winter in the full sway and 1t bein' as
hard 10 get help here as II would be
10 get frost bitten in Southern Hades,
they is nothin left for me to do but go
fo0n in the cellar several times day
and mingie with the ashes and the etc:
Joe. II a man is born to be coal
HEAVIER he might as we'll be one and be
done with II. because they is no use
tryin' to dodge your destination as
Napoleon had the habit of remarkln',
unless Of course let US take Germany
for the example where some years ago
4 guy which was born for the ash heap
was made kaiser but Is now occupyin
his proper position and here only
short while ago them guys elected
president which was born a saddlemaker
and 80 far he can hardly tell the dif-
ference.
matter what stations of life you man.
age to get born in, because a poor
man has the same chance as a well
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1920-09-07

sThese ships have deep tanks converted 10
oda,tionai sum OF twenty-five thousand dollars
TO cost
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1920-09-07

"a HdrYnon, ,pho admits ne has
DSsgros Fairbanks Iooktno IKE a
49,, tells Friend Joe about Hfe N
1As s,sovtes IN the foilototrg letter. IN.
e1nz11pe7pfs from III. o. WtttDers lotesf
ssecsss tcitl be printed daily.
Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1920-09-07

The equal Of the Beet Home
made ever turned out OF an oven
Thousands OF discriminating
housekeepers say so, and you WILL
too, when once you serve II.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1920-11-21
MEAT INJURIOUS
TO THE KIDNEYS
Take a Tablespoonful OF Salts II
Back Hurts or Bladder
BOthCTS.

We are a nation Of meat eaters
and our blood is filled with uric
acid. says a well-knOwn authority.
who warns us 10 be constantly on
guard against kidney trouble.
The kidneys do their utmost 70
free the blood of this irritating acid.
but become weak from overwOrk;
they get sluggish; the eliminative
tissues clog and thus the waste is
retained in the blood to poison the
entire system.
When your kidneys ache and feel
like Jumps OF lead, and you have
singing pains in the back or the
urine is cloudy. full Of sediment, or
the bladder is irritable, Obliging you
10 seek relief during the night;
when you have severe headaches,
nervous and dizzy spells, sleepless-
ness. acid stomach or rheumatism
in bad weather. get from your phar-
macist about four ounces of Jad
Salts; take a tablespoonful in glass
of water before breakfast each
morning and in a few days your kid
neys will act fine. This famous salts
is made from the acid OF grapes and
lemon juice, combined with lithia,
and has been used for generations
10 flush and stimulate clOgged kid
neys. to neutralize the iCids in urine
so IL is no longer "a source of irrita-
ton, thus ending urinary and blad-
der disorders.
Jad Salts is inexpensive and can
not injure; makes a delightful eff
fervesCent Whitewater drink. and
nobody can make a mistake by TAX
ing little occasionally to keep the
kidneys clean and active.-Adv.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1920-11-21

\ story repIete with humor as well
as pathos was that told Saturday
afternoon before members and
guests OF the Progress club 10y Dr.
Ng Poou Chew ~ san Francisco.
Of China and Her Burdens"
thinas problems of the past 20
which she has been tied during her
history of - centuries are being
largely dissapated today through the
rise OF tne younger. American cdu-
Gated generation. declared Dr.
chew. THE narrow. superstitious
traditions which since the days of
Confusicus have druEged the initia-
tive Of the Chinese people have been
astonishinEly overpoWered within
the last few years by the enlighteu-
ing influence OF America II g.. TO
the United States or its representa-
;ives I'm the mission field and i'm
commercial life that China D. most
deeply Indebted for new vigOr and
inspiration
DR. Chew paid "a special tribute TO
the American missionaries who have
gone 10 his native country FOR ne
affirmed that their their kindly help
and teachings the country was first
stirred 90 the desire for broader in
terests than The old family worship
induced.
To the new system Of education
which will ultimately be inaugur-
ated in the Chinese republic. Dr.
chew lays his hope for the perman-
emit establishment Of a great repUb-
lie. Thousands of our young men
and women have received their edu-
cation from the great institutions in
your country and are annually car
rying back home the fundam entail
principles Of their American
achieved learning These principles
are rapidly dispellinE the old sys-
tenn which compelled the pupils TO
learn but by which theye were not
expected TO understand what they
had learned. a new educational sys-
tenn will raise n new regime in
china. stated DR.. Chew.
OF the international problems
which confront China today the one
involving relationship with Japan is
the most alarming. according 10 DIT.
chew. The two countries present
entirely conflicting Ideals and the
growth OF their respective civiliza-
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1920-11-21
MOSS TO ADDRESS THREE
MEETINGS OF FARMERS
FEDERATION THIS WEEK

Three meetings Of the state Farm
ers federation are scheduled for the
week at which addresses and pro-
grams will constitute the entertain
ment. The meetings will be at the
Dixon school in Penn twp. on Mon
day night at o'clock; az Cleaners
hall in Center twp, on Tuesday
night. and at WoOdman hall at Ly-
dick on Wednesday night II. L.
Moss of the State Farmers fedora
tion will address all Of the meetings
on the subject Of The Solution of
the Farmers Marketing Problems %
Moving pictures will also be includ-
ed on the program.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1920-11-21
APPROPRIATE $4,000
TO CITY RECREATIONAL
DEPARTMENT EXPENSE

Approximately $4,000 vas voted
10 the city recreational department
by the city recreatiOnal committee AT
its meeting Friday night This
amount was asked for in the bud
get submitted by Col. g. Seymour
Bullock. recreational director. 10
finance work OF the coming year.
Vocational schools next year Will
force the recreational department 20
work on "a 12-mOnth basis instead of
nine-rnonth basis as I'm the past.
The amount allowed will be used TO
hire teachers. Caretakers and play
for other incidentals necessary 10
the work
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1920-11-21
The Hotel Oliver Thanksgiving

The Hotel Oliver Thanksgiving
Matinee Dance from until
Thanksgiving afternoon contin-
uous dance viii be given in the
Tapestry room Of the Hotel oliver,
Mezzanine floor. This is something
entirely new and those desiring to
dance continuously will have this
opportunity as there will be two or
chestras furnishing the music. The
admission 20 this afternoon affair
VIII be 75c per person. -Advt.
South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1920-11-21

tions has been such as TO separate
them" Dr. Chew characterized
Japan as an aggressive. heartless.
militaristic nation. Germany in
Asia. In illustration Of the gem
eral policies Of Japan Dr. chew told
81 the "Shantung grab"
Preceding the lecture "A group Of
vocal selections was given by James
Cover. accompanied by Mrs Cover.