davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1920-08-11
jim B. is sore because every time
he calls on his girl her mother sits in
the parlor and entertains him.

II with love In your mind
on your swectle you make call.
She seats you In tho prrlor
And you propose 10 tell her all
Put In comes her mother, dear old skate,
And cntsrtslns you until quite late.
You get very sore over the Intrusion,
Ard forget the enusion you had no
susan
The Washington times., 1920-08-11
THE OOUGHNUT-s HOLE.

II begins to look as il we must
pass on to posterity heritage Of
dense ignorance, including the para
doxical enigma. why does the hole
in the doughnut grow larger?
e. u. d
The Washington times., 1920-08-11

A druggist charged me tic for a
small dish of ice cream. He should
have horse; Jesse James had one.
R. II. w.
The Washington times., 1920-08-11
WHAT'S THE ANswERf

If you get on a street car and
see vacant seats. what seat do
you pick out, and why? Many
OF us have reasons for selection.
What are yours?
BINGO.
The Washington times., 1920-08-11
g. 11EAR[4 -
HEARD.

WILLIAM +. MORIAN falls int
poetry in describing his friend "Bilrs"
new necktie:
What a handsome Persian rug" some say,
"A nightmare" most declare,
cubist's idea of "A Perfect Day."
In colors bombastic and rare.
Another Armenian massacre" they sob
Save US, o. Allah" they cry,
"Oh, see the rainbow" hollers the mob,
tBut Bill simply passes them byD
It's a million things all woven so hne.
In a million colors it's done,
It's more than = necktie, this thing divine.
It's a MILLION neckties In one.
But It isn't the necktie my friend wears.
Nor the size, nor the shape Of his hat,
It's the heart meath that tie. that beats
It's the MAN. my boy, all O. that
Fifteenth and H streets north
east, must not be counted out of the
running in the 1920 fashion show.
We've got wearers of monkey-back
suits out this way, and do not PRO-
pose to have it understood tliat we
are not up to date. MAY u.
Mary had "weejee" board.
She pushed IT to and fro,
And everywhere that Mary showed
That "weeiee" Doe rd would 20
LEONARD MIKULES.
The Washington times., 1920-08-11

DEAR MISS FAIRFAX:
am working in an office as
stenographer and l judge a girl OF
my age should have pretty good
sense. However. the man that i
work for is married and has a wife
and young daughter. Now, Miss
Fairfax, 1 have been working in
this office for about one year, ana
after had been working for
several months, he told me one day
that he loved me. Il was stunned
at this remark and did not know
what to think of il. There 10 never
hardly a day that this man does
not buy my lunch and does many
other things for me, and he said
that there isn't anything that he
wouldn't do for me that was In his
power to do. I have told him re-
peatedly that he is deceiving his
wife and he says that he In not,
that he loves me better than ne
does his wife, and he said later on
in life would realize how much
he did love me, and that / would
never get anyone to love me as he
does.
This man treats his wife and
daughter as good as any man
possibly could with the salary he
gets. The other day he attempted
to kiss me again and I told him
positively to let me alone.
Now. what should I do to prevent
my heart from being broken, as j
work with this man all day and,
as you know, IT Is not an easy thing
at the present time to ind another
job? HEARTBROKEN.
II we're you, I'd fnd another
job " II were the last thing | did
In the world. This man does not
love you. Oh, yes, he may desire
you, but that emotion and love
are quite two different things. You
have been playing with fre, and |
sincerely hope you can get away
The Washington times., 1920-08-11

"a Bricklayer's wife" objects to q
news story that bricklayers are lay
ing fewer bricks now than ever be-
fore, although getting more money.
She says:
"The real mechanic can and
does lay as many bricks today as
in the past, probably more. By
this I mean bricklayers. not
'splatterers' or daubers"
The Washington times., 1920-08-11

Biggs-"Did you ever stop to
think?
Piggs-"No: ! never do; I know a
man who did that in the middle Of
the street once and a taxi ran over
him" MAXWELL PEARSON.
The Washington times., 1920-08-11

No immigrant can smuggle his
one-power intellect past Ellis Island
unless he knows forty words. 1t
used to be forty dollars. Too much.
That's a dollar word. More than
Kipling gets.
Nobody knows what the words
are. The immigrants have to guess
'em. II they pick the wrong ones
they're eligible for membership in
this big star -spangled club OF ours.
with dues payable every time the
tax collector finds you at meme.
That many words are too many
for one man to know. They amt
necessary. The three greatest
events of a gents life. being born.
being marriaged and being beaded,
can all be arranged with one word.
He can maintain an indiscreet
silence In all three of 'em. except
marriage.
when he Ia being handcufred by
the bridal posse he has to chirp
Yes" while he Ia wishing that he
could say Nope" After that his
vocabulary is limited to lodging
chinaware and smoking mono
syllable corncob pipe out In the
garage while his wife's relatives
pay him one Of those combination
permanent-tempora visits.
A political All Bsba and his Forty
Words are necessary In presi-
Dental campaign. But as for
eign.born citizen hasn't even got
Brysn's chance q being President
The Washington times., 1920-08-11
KEEP YOUR OLD GLANDS
MONKEYS ARE SCARCE.


Dear Bill: Nobody connected with
that live II and s column of yours needs
monkey glands to put ginger into
them, bYt it's pretty tough on devital-
lied WaAhingtonian that q scarcity Of
monkeys 10 playing havoc with the
chances OF eliIirizing some Of these
gents.
VORONoFF. the French surgeon.
now in this country, makes the an
nouncement that big monkeys are
needed - orangutangs, chimpansees,
eorilias-none of these little hand
organ monks.
/ was thinking OF breaking in ED.
SCHMIDTS bird store and borrowing
a monkey but Ed does not carry the
big sizes and 20 it's all on with me.
1t seems to me that the best thing
to be done by physicians who begin
transplanting monkey glands will be
to organize parties Of tired. worn out
gents and take them straight TO africa,
where monkey glands grow In back
yards That will greatly lessen the
cost. UNkEJUN ENAihD
The Washington times., 1920-08-11

Now they think they can make
gasoline from cornstalks. They'll use
the gasoline to run a motor, which
will run a dynamo, which will gener-
ate electricity. From shock to shock,
as it were. SdOCklNG.
The Washington times., 1920-08-11

I'm puzzled about the half hose.
The kind that are worn by the peach
How does she get along
with mosquitoes at Chesapeake Beach?
EARL v.
The Washington times., 1920-08-11
CALL ,EM HOsETTES.

l do not know any girls who
wear their fathers or brothers
socks. We buy regular ladies
socks. They are called hosettes.
BETTY.
The Washington times., 1920-08-11
DRIVERS LICENSES.

Careful" IL uniformed as to trsf-
ho regulations No permits are is-
sued to children under sixteen years
OF age, and between that age and
eighteen the consent Of parents Is
necessary NJ NJ.
The Washington times., 1920-08-11

the ballot is wrong especially extending the b
ings of democracy to the four of the earth
The Washington times., 1920-08-11
DEAR MISS FAIRFAX:

DEAR MISS FAlRFAh:
How old do you think girl
ought to be before she is allowed
to 60 around at night with her
boy friends
AS it is, l am sixteen and very
seldom 20 with the boys as my
mother is greatly opposed to 1t as
young as 1 am now.
When l do go out in the evenings
with them there is always a little
party going too.
I am considered attractive and
dress very well as my friends say.
Indeed, Miss Fairfax, / never was
crazy about the boys, but love to
20 around and have good times
with them.
1 also have many girl friends
who can go to Marshall Hall and
Glen Echo and lots of places and
/ am seldom allowed to go.
should love to know your opin-
ion. BUBBLES
Just as old as her mother thinks
is the proper age. Mothers differ
on this subject, but no wise mother
allows her sixteen -year-old daugh-
ter to 90 to the places you mention
except in a party, and then only
seldom. Your mother is quite right,
and a few years from now you will
realize it.
The Washington times., 1920-08-11

SHOWING that forty wrrls are
thirty-nine and thrco So les too
many. BACK to Ellis Island. you
dumbbell.
The Washington times., 1920-08-11

. And after that the only word he
needs to know ls Yep"
The Washington times., 1920-08-11

Two words will get you through
the courting tournament. Lovey
and dovey. And " they're words,
then the sphinx IL n chatterbox.
The Washington times., 1920-08-11

DEAR MISS FAIRFAX:
j came to this city several years
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-07-07
Gist of the Neus
GENERAL

 Abbott is elected grand exalted ruler by the Elks. ritimatUm delivered German. nt Spa conference. t4 Hardins's plans for front perch cam paiEn rcniain unchanged. Interchurch plan noble dream which turned to nightmarc, rays Drown. Irwin Cobb has sn astral vision of certain people. Stock exchapEe dealings widen, July cotton feature of market.
 LOCALL Fire truck and street ear In collision. Motor convoy again delayed. Court to henr jury probe case. sutton chosen letter carricrs' presi- dent.
 Bond conference called by county of- hcers.
 Hartsfield n snaed president of Civic Association.
 street bond pr0pOsitiOn rejected. Rural letter rsfrters select officers. Definite offers aaae fer Baptist hes- pital.
 Regular army di.ee.ltases reserves.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-07-07
Capital EIated OUer Nomination
 ofGouernor Cox
By FRED H. GORMLEY
 Montgomery Bureau The Ase- Hera

Montgomery, July 6.-(SpeciaL) Nomlnation of Gov. James M. Cox for President by the democratic convention Tuesday morning caused great enthusiasm in official and social circles of Montgomery, because Governor Cox was person. ally known by many citizens of Montgomery
 While Ohio soldiers were in training at Camp Sheridan near Montgomery Governor Cox was a visitor in Montgomery and devoted much time to welfare work among the soldiers. While in the state he became a close friend of Governor Kilby and other state officials who did everything in their power for him in his candidacy. Governor Kilby went to San Francisco and worked for Governor Cox, while other state officials attempted to obtain support for him from among the Alabama delegations Among his close friends here, who were pleased over his nominations. was Gen. Robert F. Ligon, clerk of the Alabama supreme court, who be- came his personal friend while the soldiers from Ohio were here.
 Governor, Cox's friendship for Governor Kilby became closer by the recent marriage of Miss Anne Kilby, the governors daughter, to MT. Porter, whose family has been closely connected with Governor Cox. and in whose home Governor Cox was married several years ago Governor and Mrs. Cox were present at Miss Kilby's wedding at Anniston this year.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-07-07
Bryan Pauses for
 Heart 10 Return
 From, the Graue
By Associated Pres,

San Francisco, July 6-"My heart is in the grave without cause and I must pause until it comes iback to me-" said William J Bryan today. in giving his reason for not. mT king any extended statement Oh the work of the democratic convention.
 My views on the conventions action in reference to the indorse- ment of prohibition are known" said Mr Bryan. T regard it as a very serious mistake-it opened the door to the nomination of a wet candidate. I need not repeat here what l have said before in regard to the evasion of other is sues"
 MT. Bryan said he had no selection in mind for the vice presidency When asked if he would have anything to do with the third party movement which begins it's con vention in Chicago July 10. or would indorse its candidates, he replied:
 q do not care to discuss any oth- CT movement. It took the demo- cratic convention quite while to decide on candidate and the in dividual voters have about four months in which to consider the claims of the candidates. l shall use part of that four months in = considering the question,
 I do not care 10 say anything about congressional plans but the question suggests subject which the public cannot overlook. name ly. the importance of selecting a Senate and House that will refuse to increase the alcoholic content In permitted beverages or any other weakening of the enforcement law .
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-07-07
Marse Henry GiUes Vie lO s
 On Nomination

Louisville. Ky. July 6.-tSpe-. ciaI.D-ColoneI Henry Watters0n emerged from silent retirement of thc past few months with . char acterisffc statement anent the nomination of James M. Cox by the democratic convention. Speaking over the telephone from his cOun- try home, Mansfield, Jefferstosyn. Ky. he said, in substances
 ssThe nomination CT Governor Cox will solidify and rennimate the demOcratic party in every section of the union. It is the very strong est that could have been made. and gives the democrats . b0uyant prexaGe of victory
 'sThe genius of destlny lays l0v- ing hand upon the Buckeye hoy, and with laughing eyes excBafms: 'Fnithful th0u over few things, I will make thee ruler over many"
 Later fn the day sIr. Watterson sent the following conxratulntOry telegram to, MT. Coxs
 "Y0ur nomfna ton revifalixes democracy. lt will stir the demo- cratic heart of the nation with the refIecteon of triumphnnt past and the forecast of radiant future. To %fh~ bosom of one old <entuckian It brings . flood of fixhtinG mem- orIes- along with the assuFanees of . glorfons vietoFy.r
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-07-07

Franklin RO0scvelt's nomination for vice president was requested by the Cox people on the ground that it would satisfy the admin instration at Washinst ton and make sure the upstate democracy of unanimous.
 remarkable thing about the contests for the presidency of the uhited states is that both candi- dates came from the same state and both candidates are newspaper men. Harding owns the Marion star and Cox owns the Dayton Daily News. 10th have been educated in the practical newspaper field
 The Alabamians last night in the round robin to east two votes, first Tor Palmer. three for Davis and three for Cox were; Mcdonald, Crawford. Strauss, Jones, Moore, smith, Pratt, Werner, May Id, Fite, Goodwin. Hefzbcrg, Mcleod and Burr.
 After Palmer was withdrawn, Harrison of Jefferson joined the list and voted for Davis first and tLen Cox.
 The eight who held faithfully to McAdOO up to and including the final ballot were: Bowie, Simpson, Lusk, Armstrong. Taylor, O'Rear, Mcleod md EdmondsOn.
 For Davis, Burr, Fite and Malone were faithful as long as there was any use.
 Governor kilby was the original and consistent worker for Cox since the day he left Alabama.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-07-07
COX IS DELIGHTED

Dayton. O.. July Ex-Governor James NJ Cox. democratic presidential nominee to- night expressed his approval of Franklin D. Roosevelt as his running mate in the coming election.
 telegram of congratulations sent by Governor Cox to MT. Roosevelt late this afternoon said:
 Please accept my earnest congratula- tions over the honor that has come to you. I am very much delighted that we are associated together in the contest
 In discussing MT. Roosevelt, Governor Cox characterized him as a very vigor. ous, upstanding, courageous and progres- sive democrat.
 ''Mr. Roosevelt's speech before the na- tional committee in Chicago last winter made very strong impression said the governor He spoke In Dayton last win ter on Standardization and his address at that time was very favorably com mented upon all over the country Ills service at Washington has given him a wide experience and aeauaintanceship.
 The governor added that Roosevelt was "a very good stumper'
 Governor Cox wired Edward H. Moore
 (Continued on Page TwOl
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-07-07

Paris Tex, July 6.-frving and Herman Arthur, negroes, aged 10 and l2S years, brothers who Inst Friday shot aud killed their land- lord, J. H. Hodges and his son, Will liam Hodges. 0p~the lntterss place northeast of Paris were burned at stake on the fairgrounds here to- night at s o'clock. They were taken from the jail at 7:30.
 The negroes were captured by Lamar (rexas) county officers and posse last night at Valiant, Okla. and were brought here and placed in jail late today. 1t was thought that there would be no trouble. but later crowd gathered, quickly in-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-07-07

creaseG snc finaIyi stOrmed the jnil, on the top floor of the court house. breaking down the iron outer door, md took the negroes.
 There was no disorder except the yelling of tho crowd ns the ne- Eroes were brought out. The pris- Oners were taken to the fair grounds north of t-ic c-ty where n stake md fuel could be prepared. Here they were burned. The affair was over by o'clock.
 The killing of Hodges and his son is said to have resulted from n dispute over money claimed by the farmer to he owed him by his ne- gro tenants.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-07-07
 HEARINGS CLOSED ON ROADS, PLEA FOR RATE RAISE Decision Expected In Time for New Rates to Go Into Effect at End of
 August
By Associated Press

Washington, July 6.-Hearings were
 closed before the interstate commerce
 commission today on the railroads ap-
 plication for increased freight rates
 which has been described by shippers
 and carriers alike as the greatest single
 proposition in it's effect on the Ameri-
 can people ever submitted to the com | mission.
 Decision by the commission on the 1 application is expected early in August 1 in order that the new rates may be eff | fective when the government guar antee expires September 1. It is gen orally assumed that the forthcoming 3 Iaward of the railroad labor board in l the employees and carriers wage con troversy will be taken into considera-
 ton without further hearings in ad- 1 justing the new schedules. ! The railroads, under the provisions 1 of the transportation act. asked rate
 advances which would yield an added 1 income of $1017 000,000 to provide the l6 per cent return permitted by the law.
 In addition the expense to be created l by the expected award of the railroad 1 labor board. estimated at between $500, 900, ,000 and $1,000, 100000. must be met by further increases, the carriers claim.
 Opposition on the part of shippers
 
 the increases asked by the carriers. 30 per cent in the east. S1 per cent in the south and 24 per cent in the west, which it was urged were too high. The necessity for some advance was gen. orally conceded. Many shippers dis approved of a general advance and suggested flat increases on certain commodities.
 | Closing argument for the railroads al I for the Association of Railway Execu- ktives, told the commission that when the labor boards decision was handed down the carriers would ask that part of the further rate advance made nec- essary should be borne by the passen- ger traffic
 Inadequate service is more costly than high rates MT. Thom contended adding that the public desires proper transportation for the commerce of the country above all else. Clifford Thornc of Chicago, in the final argument in behalf of the ship , ;,ers, declared that an adequate trans portation service was an absolute pre- requisite to the commercial develop ment of the United States and that nothing should be done which would unnecessarily shock or disrupt exist ,fns trade conditions or place an undue or unwarranted burden on American Industry.
 Mir. Thom declared that the total Increase in freight rates would aggre- gate 55h per cent if the railroad cor porations and railroad labor were suc- cessful in getting all they are seeking and that If labor got one-half of it's demands and the carriers all of theirs the freight advance would be approxi- mateIy 41.53 per cent.
 If shippers computations are correct. MT. Thorne contended, an advance of |16h per cent on freight would take care of the present necessity and re- duce the burdens in freight traffic by &s8S DOC, 900 annually.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-07-07
Incorporation Papers Filed

Montgomery, July 6.-(Special.o--- Articles of incorporation of the Peo- pies Amusement Company at Russell vile, franklin county were reported to ttre secretary of sta4e today. The company has an authorized capital Of s5.o0e, of which 5000 has been paid in, and it will engage In the operatioa Of moving picture theatres.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-07-07

H Was q Mean Fight But Democrats Haue Selected
 Their Strongest Ticket
Alabama Party Leaves for Home By Canadian Route and Will Arrive in About Ten Days-How the Delega-
 ton Voted the Final Ballots
By E. ". BARRETT

San Francisco Cal, July 6.-(SpeciaD-t was indeed a fight and spots f but Cox the strongest politically the democratic party could have named The delegates from the pivotal urged because they believed he could carry Ohio Ohio and the solid south only 67 more votes will be needed
 In New York, New Indiana the ticket will he ceptionally strong with excellent chances of success
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-07-07
Yellow Fever Situation Better
 By AssoeIated Presa

Washington. July 6--Marked improve ment in the yellow fever situation in san Salvador was reported today in an official dispatch received by the Salva- dorean legation from it's government 1t was stated the quarantine at Sonsonate and nearby towns had been lifted and Hhat sanitary conditions throughout the ksuntry were good.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-07-07
ALL. ISSTEU FnR BANKS CONDITION
Bv A,sccIssss pre.,

Wsshinrtdp. JuIS a---Ts~ ~cwn- trelIer ef the currency today fssneA . can for the ~enditIsw ef r5I Va- tssna1 bauks at the cIsse of busi- naao ea June a.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-07-07
Wrong Negroes Burned Al Stake By Texas Mob
One of Two Men Lynched Not Right One Says Sheriff
 Who is Still On Trail of Slayer of White Man
By Associated prsss

Idab Oka July Dewitt sheriff
  lat
  of he Texasfar randh ,accordi to De
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-07-07
Ladd Maintains Lead

Fargo N. D.. July s.---Dr F. F. Iadt lcf Forgo. partisan league can didate. still had a slight lead tonigh- over Senator A. J. Grouna for the re- lpublican nomination for United States lsenator. Returns from l.137 precincts out of s.osi. in the state from last
 Wednesdays primary gave Ladd 4s.s39
 and Gronna 45.717.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-07-07

They are personal friends. Cover nor and Mrs. Cox and the young baby were the guests of Governor and Mrs. kilby at their Anniston home last April. where Miss kiIby was married.
 John ID. McNecI, though not delegate. was n faithful worker for McAdOo to the last.
 The Alabamians leave tonight, most of them returning via Port land and Vancouver on two special Pullmnus attached to the Ohio Cox special train. They will have nm- pie opportunity to celebrate in Cam ada.
 For the first time in many years Alabama has genuine national committeeman in Colonel Sanders of~Athens. He hns made himself felt on the committee and has ham, died the Alabama delegation splen- didIy.
 The Alabama delegation is expected tc pursue the route originally laid out be- fore they left Alabama. The schedule prepared at that time was as follows: First Day-Leave San Francisco i0:2t o clock in the evening over Southern Pa. cific This is the scenic Shasta route traversing the Cascade range of noun. tains through northern California and ir the state of Oregon (176 miles). Third Day-Arrive Portland at 7:20 ir the morning on Southern Pacific. Spend twenty-four hours in Rose City Take a spin on the famous Columbia River Scenic Railway. This is highway con. structed jointly by the national govern.
 tContinued on Page Two)
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-07-07
PRESIDENTS MESSAGE

Columbuh. Nhlo. Juiv 6.-CongratuIa- tions from President Wilson were re- ceived by Governor COX this morning uron his Dprnination- The message from the White House received at the gover- nor's ofrses i:s s~o'umnns this morning. and transmitted 2 his home at Dayton, read:
 <confins,ed on Paes Tws>