The Coconino sun., 1920-06-25


 notice, which the editor printeth, The minister getteth 10 bones. The groom standeth the editor off for 12-month , subscription.
 All flesh is grass and in time the wife is gathered unto the soil. The minister getteth his bit. The editor printeth the death notice, two columns of obituary, three lodge notices, a cu- bit poetry and card of thanks. And he forgetteth to read proof on the head, and the darned thing cometh out "Gone to Her Last Roasting Place."
 And all that are akin to the de- ceased jumperh on the editor with exceeding great jumps. And they pulleth out their ads and cancelleth their subscriptions, and then swing the hammer unto the third and fourth generations.
 Canst thou beat it?
 c. B. Wilson once attended a social gathering (so one of his friends says) where there was a very deaf old lady who had a very bad cold. The old lady's daughter had little baby that had recently been very sick. MT. Will son, always the pink of politeness, asked the old lady how the baby was. She replied with animation, of course, thinking he was asking about her cold:
 "I usually have them every winter, but 1 must say this is the worst one I ever had. I managed to get rid of all the rest in less than three days, but this one sticks to me like tick |"
 Madam" exclaimed C. B.
 ''lt just worries me nearly to death. It keeps me awake all night. ex- pect I will have it on hand all win ter, and l can tell by your looks that you are going to have one just like it.
 Bill Doney knows man who had agreed to sell COW to another man for $100, when he was offered $125 by another person. He studied over the matter for time, then drove the COW to the home of the man to whom he had sold her.
 The latter was just about to pay for the COW, when the owner said:
 Boss, don't want to take advant- age of you. Fact, is, this COW of mine has no upper front teeth. My conscience has got to troubling me since 1 made the bargain with you, and concluded I'd have to tell you"
 Good, Lord" exclaimed the buyer "Of course, don't want the COW at any price if she has no upper front teeth. Still, I appreciate your hon. esty, and here's s5 for your trouble in bringing the COW here"
 The fellow pocketed the $5; then took the COW to the man who had of fered $125 for her and sold her to him.
 When Jack Wilson was in the un- dertaking business in the southern part of the state, woman came in one day to buy casket.
 "What kind of trimmings do you want, ma'am? 2" asked Jack
 "None aytall,' she said. It was trimmin's killed my man.
 "Trimmin's?"
 "Yes, delerium trimmin's"
 Syd Flowers, the Chicago journal ist, here with C. H. Spencer, the Crat- Ter Lake water project man. described the burro to an eastern friend this way:
 "The burro is a condensed jackass. He is little all over except his ears and voice. He has long hair all over his body, four legs, two ears and one tail. As a vocalist, the burro has no rival. He starts off with low, sweet, 'Ohe-he-ohy-he, haw-he, haw-haw-haw he haw!' and keeps it up until you tremble for his life; and just as you think he will surely stop, or die and get out of misery, he disappoints all your fond expectations by turning on a little more sound, reversing the ac- ton, and retracting all that he's just said. A vocal solo rendered by a burro is an experience never to be for gotten. 1 have seen strong men moved to tears as they listened to his