The Carlisle independent., 1920-10-14
FACTS, FUN AND ROBUSTNESS

1 bareheaded. The more you know about him the less you understand why the Creator did not make the horse first and then quit An average he thing will shave a note or clip coupon, but insist on | having barber to mow his whiskers and crop his locks.
 Man is of many ways and full of prunes, when he can't find any moon shine liquor. It takes him a year or so to learn how totalk, but he never l learns when to talk. He will lie all night and dream; he will lie all day and scheme. He is a complex assem- i bly, of egotism, stomach and stubborn ness, believing that a dog which be- longs to him is better than dude | that belongs to his neighbor. Man is an unfinished piece of com mon funiture.. He spends all his | spare change trying to keep his teeth and all that he can borrow getting rid of his appendix He imagines himself I the king of beast and yet it takes him longer to learn how to walk than a jungle monkey and longer to grow whiskers than Mexican Billy goat.
 Uncle Hiram says that he has new CT been able to read chickens mind, l but that he reckons the reason rooster crows at night, is because the hens cackle all day.
 Our one eyed neighbor says that he can see through everything but that whenever Deacon Smith puts a penny in the collection plate, he knows that he has either cheated somebody or had another attack of appendicitis.
 Of course if a man starts out look ing for trouble he will always wind up by finding wife.
 A man running for office always believes that the people are calling him. But on election Jay he finds out that central gave hiel the wrong number.
 Night keys are not half as popr- lar now as they were before John Barleycorn was put on the blink.
 There is always a broadminded man who doesn't care what church you belong to just so you chew his kind of tobacco.
 Aunt Lou who has maintained her reign of single blessedness nigh on to forty five years, says that one reason she wouldn't marry is that she is not willing to quit her own home to help run An Institution for Neglected Wives"
 You might be too honest to admit 1t, but if you were woman and had to pay sixteen dollars for pair of hose, the odds are three to one that you would want them seen too. The tiniest blossom that peeps across the meadow in the springtime and lifts it's pretty lips to the glow of the mellow sunbeams hurls defi- ance in laundering tOnes at the fool iSh who try to prove that there is no God.
 The blanks in a political platform like the empty bottles in banquet hall, are generally removed as soon as the festivities are over. Mother love is vase of rare and beautiful flowers that sits on ve- randa where all the world goes by.
 The world is full of joy killers. A fellows wife lost her voice not long ago and along came a doctor and guaranteed to restore it for fifty plunks.
 The old fashioned boy might have been short in many ways, but he could get as much foot into a four bit pair of brogans as the boy of today can get into a twenty dollar pair of shoes.
 It is all right to put money into | warships to save the republic in the future, but it is well also to put the right kind of thoughts into the minds and hearts of the children of today. A smile is one of the countless jew els in humanity's crown of gold. No matter how trifing a man gets he is always willing to help his friends get rid of bad bottle of li- quor.
 q believe in the strictest honesty, I oppose all shams," she said But alas. at night so 1 am told, She hangs her hair on the foot of
 the bed.
 The boy in the automobile might have a fancier tie and knows more about college foot ball, but still we have a smattering bit the most re- spect for the one who can drive a pair of big mules and demonstrate the usefulness of a sulky blow.
 They have to buy a lot of fancy l China and silverware to start the newlyweds off these days. but when grandma was young all fellow had to do was name a mule colt after his daughters husband as a fitting we'd ding present.
 Another man died in the bath tub last week. But gentlemen, in spite of the hazard, we just must risk it two or three times a year.
 They said that we'd have more moon shine liquor than you could shake a stick at, after the country went prohibition. But the bootleg | uarc ara aitbor xrorlripO ,1niop bnurS