The Washington herald., 1920-07-18
By o. HENRY.

gagged to q girl that has the Della
ware peach crop killed in the
blossom She's a parlor maid in
a house where deliver goods.
She won't be working there much
longer. though. Say. don't forget
to give your friend my grandfath-
er's best regards. You'll excuse
me now: my wagons outside with
lot Of green stun that's got to
be delivered. See you again, SIR"
At eleven Thomas delivered
some punches Of parsley and let
tuce at the Spraggins mansion.
Thomas was only twenty-five; so,
as he came back, he took out the
handful of five-hundred- dollar
bills and waved them carelessiy.
Annette took pair of eyes as
big as creamed onions to the
cook.
Il told you he was a count"
she said after relating the Incl
dent He never would carry on
with me-
But you say he showed
money" said the cook.
Hundreds of thousands" said
Annette. Carried around loose
in his pockets. And he never
would look at me-"
60
Thomas was explaining to Celia
outside. 1T came from my grand
fathers estate. Say, Cele, what's
the use of waiting now? I'm go
ing to quit the job tonight. WHY
can't We get married next week."
Tommy" said Celia, I'm no
parlor maid. I've been foolinr
. you. I'm Miss Spraggins - Celia
Spraggins. The newspaper saw
I'll be worth forty million dol
lars some day"
Thomas pulled his cap down
straight on his head for the first
time since we have known him
Il suppose then," said he. you'll
not be marrying me next week,
But you can whistle"
NO" said Celia, TIL not h.
father would never let me marrx
a grocer's clerk. But I'll marry
you tonight. Tommy, if you saw
So"
Old Jacob Spraggins came
home at $3.50 p. m. in his motor
car. The make of il YOU will
have to surmise scrowfully:
am giving you unsubsidized fic-
could have told you it's voltage
and the number of fat wheels il
had. Jacob called for his daugh-
ter; he had bought a ruby neck
lace Tor her, and wanted to hest
her say what a kind, thouehtfuI
dear old dad he was.
There was a brief search in the
house for her. and then came An
nette, glowing with the pure
flame of truth and loyalty well
mixed with envy and histrionics.
"Oh, sir" said she, wondering
II she should kneel, Miss Celia's
Just this minute running away
out OF the side gate with a young
man to be married. / couldn't
stop her, sir. They went in a
cab"
What young man." roared old
Jacob.
"A millionaire, If you please.
sir-a rich nobleman in disguise.
He carries his money with him.
and the red peppers and the on
ions was only to blind US. sir. He
never did seem to take to me-"
Jacob rushed out in time to
catch his car. The chauffeur had
been delayed in trying 10 light
a cigarette in the wind.
Here, Castor. or Mike, or
whatever you call yourself, scoot
around the corner quicker than
blazes and see if you can see a
cab. If you do. run ii down"
There was cab in sight a
block away. Castor. or Mike.
with his eyes half shut and his
mind on his cigarette, picked up
the trail. neatly crowded the cab
to the curb and pocketed it.
What tell you doin' ~ yelled
the cabman.
PA" shrieked Celia.
"Grandfathcr's remorseful friends
agent" said Thomas. Wonder
what's on his conscience now
"A thousand thunders" said
CASTOR. or Mike. '1 have no
other match
young man." said old Jacob,
severely, "how about that parIor
maid you were engaged to-
A couple of years afterward old
Jacob went into the office of his
private secretary.
The Amalgamated Missionary
Society solicits a contribution OF
$4,000 toward the conversion OF
the Koreans" said the secretary.
Pass 'em up" said Jacob.
The University of Plumvillc
writes that its yearly endowment
fund of s5o,000 that you bestowed
upon it is past due"
Tell 'em it's been cut out"
THE Scientific Society of Clam
Cove, Long Island, asks for So
900 to buy alcohol to preserve
specimens"
Waste basket"
The Society for Providing
Heathful Recreation for Work
ing Girls wants $4,000 from you
to lay out a golf course"
Tell EN- to see an under
taker."
"Cut 'em all out" went on ia
cob. I've quit being a good
thing. I need every dollar l can
scrape or save. 1 want you TO
write to the directors of every
company that I'm Interested IN
and recommend a 10 per cent cut
in salaries. And say-I noticed
half a cake of soap lying in a
corner of the hall as 1 came in. I
want you to speak to the scrub
woman about waste. I've got no
money to throw away. And say
we've got vinegar pretty we'll
in hand haven't ueo"