The Pensacola journal., 1920-04-05
AS TELL HIRAM


men gives an want that he look as good as the
best I'll say one thing about Hiram. Miss Martin,
he is goodlookin' when he's got on well breshed
clothes an shayes. When he amt shaved he looks
like one of them there Bolshevkers. that you read
about in the newspapers. Not that ] read 'em
much. Land knows they Amt no interest to me in
the newspapers, lessen it's weddin' or tea, or
somethin' real interestin of that kind II they. is
anythin do plum detest, it is these here politicians
what the newspapers is done full of. II them men
would say somethin' Miss Martin. wouldn't mind
it so much. likes my little dish OF gossip, same
as anybody else. If its about politicians. But
il anybody kin find OUT anything about the poll
ticans from reading any of the statements they is
maxim they is smart. that's all got to say.
yotn' for any of these here politicians in Pensa-
Cola an Escambia county. is like buyin' pig in
poke-you CANT tell. to save yeu. what you are
goner git. when you buy-or when you VOTE
should say
An there is another thing I've noticed Miss Mar
tin--you wouldn't believe how good some of them
men is An how smart an highly educated. When
you read about the high principles they is got an
the splendid business trainin' the wonderful ex-
ecutive ability an the hallowed lives them men is
lived, you CANT help wonderin to yourself huccome
they is in small city like this, or mixed up in
county affairs seems, someway. like they'd ought
to be rlnnin the politics in Washington, with all
bein' allowed to go to waste. My Landl 1 bet if
Uncle Sam just had any idea how valuable these
here local politicians is. he'd have had in the
cabinet long ago. An just think how much it would
Of saved him, for they amt one of the bunch that
was ever known to resign. far as ever heard
Of
What is they standin' for? Now, Miss Martin
you got me. They amt standn' for nothin in par
ticular STAR l know They is just standin', like
Horatious at the bridge. Yes'm, that's a piece I
spoke once. It's real nice. about man what stood
in the breach. He was Roman. Yes'm course,
as you say, that before Mr.. Cats time Course
If it Escambia- Santa Rosa bridge Mr.. Cats
probably wouldn't of let him stand there. But he
lived, presume long before Mr.. Cats day.
But, this is kind OF off the track Miss Martin.
AS l started to say. when you interrupted, they
is standin' an that is about all you kin find about
most of 'em. 'cept that they is runnin Seems fun
ny, Miss Martin. how can stand for a thing
an run for it. at the same time. But then when a
man is in politics he kin do most anything excep'
speak out in meetin. Pussy foot Johnson amt got
anything on these here Pensacola politicians Miss
Martin. If they amt the pussy-foot crowdl Though
don't mean to be harsh with 'em. 1t may be that
the poor things don't know what they are standin'
for. An if they don't know, how in the name of
sense are they goin' to tell?
Seems to me like. Miss Martin stead of the
voters havin' to take OATH the candidates ought
to have to take one an the people ought to git up
sort OF question box. like what the ladies' has at
the league meetns an they ought to ask something
like this:
How do you stand on the school question? Do you
want to bond for better schools? Do you want that
the children OF Escambia county should git square
deal? How do you stand the municipal docks
and public improvements like bridges an good
roads? How do you stand prohibition? How do
you stand on equal suffrage? Are you democrat? ?
II so, why? And what is democrat? Miss Martin.
il had the maxim out Of them questions, I'd sure
put that one in. The man that answers that ques-
tion would be winner. But the man what
answered: What is republican, Miss Martin he
would be subject for scientific investigation.
They may be some man can tell what is Demo-
crat, these days But it would take clairvoyant
to figger out: What is a republican?
Come to think about it, Miss Martin jist as soon
add to the list: Is you good American? The man
that is Uncle Sans pardner is the that's goner
git my vote. For. tell Hiram, they is one thing
certain when the women does git the vote surely
does intend to cast my ballot. I ben trainin' Hiram
all these years an shown him what he'd ought
to do to help his town an his county, an Hiram
hes ben real apt pupil. An now when it comes
to votin' myself, I'm gon' in to try to teach
some OF these old political dogs tricks
An the first one I'm goin' to agitate is that when
they stand they look around first an find some
thin to stand on an that when they rum they
find somethin' worth runnin' for What most of
'em is runnn' for now is office. They forget that
| the office should seek the man. an that when it
finds him it should find him upright, an not kow-
towing to every political wind that blows
Yes Miss Martin it does sound Find of hifalutin'
/ It's part OF speech has just writ for Hiram to
speak at the luncheon tomorrow An that remin,s
| me, Miss Martin. that Hiram is liable to come
home to dinner now. most any time Seems like IN