The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1920-09-23

1--WE somebody
comes along asking impertinent ques
tlons as to how many children l have
and my maiden name before I was
married and whether there's insanity
In the family.
I'm sick and tired Of answering
such questions. II my old friends
want to dig into my family history,
I'll give them all the information they
want although I may consider their
conundrums in bad taste, but when a
perfect stranger comes along and asks
me If do my own washing | feel that
the line must be drawn somewhere.
Every Jack In office asks questions. u
used to be that the assessor would
come TO the door politely, and inquire
how many dogs we kept, and take our
estimate Of the value of our prop
erty without looking as though he
knew we ought TO be prosecuted for
perjury. But now he must know the
color Of your grandfathers side whis'
kers, and If you tell him that you keep
no dogs he goes out and looks under
the house, and in the barn, and when
ne comes back he warns you that the
penalties for giving false Information
are severe.
"Mr. Curfew says that the next
time the assessor comes he Is going
10 throw him over the back fence and
kick him down the alley for a dis
tance Of seven blocks and | hope he'll
keep his word"
81 didn't mean to offend you" said
the stranger. "Tm introducing a wash
Ing powder that saves half the labor.
and dispenses with soap altogether.
with this marvellous powder a woman
can do the weeks washing and have
her clothes hung on the line, inside Of
two hours"
swell mister, you take a package
Of your marvellous powder down to
the creek, and give yourself a good
scrubbing, for you look as though you
had been fishing out Of somebody's
dustbin. Your whiskers are full Of
aawdust, and your face Is covered
with CRIME. If you were introducing
bitumlnous coal, there might be some
excuse for your appearance, but a
man who Is selling washing powder
ought to be like the driven snow. or
nobody will have confidence IN him
"And | wouldn't have anything TO
do with your washing powder II you
offered to bring me a wagOnlOad for
twenty cents. ! make my own soap
of I've and grease, and although 1t
isn't indorsed by the crowned heads
of Europe or by prelates or vice pres
saents. It's the best soap ever made,
and know the ingredients are whole
some. even II they don't comprise
banks and buds and healing herbs.
"When / use my own soap, | know
the things ! wash won't be any the
worse for II, but the washing powders
sold by agents are made Of dynamite
and lunar caustlc, and garment once
washed with them will never be tit
TO use again.
Last spring ! was feeling 100 poor
" 10 make the usual batch Of soap,
so bought a package Of washing
powder from an agent who had his
pockets full Of testimonials showing
that he was a man Of high moral char
acter 1t happened that week thai
an If Mr.. Curfrw's white shirts were
In the wash. Mr.. Curfew Is very par
ticular about his shirts. They mus,
be as white as arctic snow, or the way
hp raves around the house is dis
grace. Wen, | wish you could have
seen those shirts after they were
washed. They had an old gold color
and have been getting yelIower ever
since ana Mr.. Curfcw never sits dowr
but he speaks about II aud makes
things uncomfortable.
$50 you had better t0ddIe alon
and sell your washing powder to SOM
woman who doesn't know how to maxi
good soap"