The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1920-01-04

Mylton Spiro has a record, a won
derful record. he has never in all
his score of some years let the in
FAINT year find him rational. Last
Wednesday he locked up the Gov.
eminent Tire and Rubber Company.
| caught the Congressional Limited for
lii 'ol n. Y. and faded from our
/ midst. 1t is rumored that he has a
secret dungeon where never a drop
Of wood alcohol has been known so
don't look for him in the obituaries.
He'll be ,back-we hope he will-he
left here with a promise.
Yesterday the National Automobile
Show opened in New York with a
grand splash. Automobiles. autorpo-
biles and then some more automobiles
peep at yon from their booths in one
grand array of glittering splendor.
Nearly every automobile man in
Washington was there for the opening.
And Oh man! what on opening. In
fact 1t was such a wonderful opening
that the Great Catastrophe of last
July was totally forgotten along with
some other things.
Did anyone hear anyone re- , ing
never to touch another drop last
Thursday?
Mr.. Robert Garland writes in THE
Maryland Motorist'' for December on
the beauties of motoring at night. He
says in part, Half the joy of rum
ming over to Washington to the
theater is the ride home afterwaro
with the chilly stars blinking over
head and the searehlights stabbing
the curtains of the night. After two
and half hours in a stuffy playhouse
the thought of a run homeward Is like
mental stimulant. The friend beside
you" continues Mr.. Garland, scarce
ly speaks at all; if talk comes natural
ly it is of sweet, infrequent things
such as friendship. love and death
and matters that languish in the light
Of day. Ones friends grow very near
when the motor sings contentedly and
the stars look down and the road I'M
winds like ribbon beneath the whir-
ring wheels"
That's on driving home from Wash
ington. Now let some Random WASH
ington Motorist" get up and tell US
how 1t used to be to drive home from
Baltimore. How the beautiful road,
SllSIenlng Wnlte IN the mOOnllsnt,
used to unwind like a pretzel. How,
on the trip from Baltimore THE
friend beside you" never spoke at all,
but lay there blowing little bubbles
in the air. Let him tell how this same
Daring bunnie" who hoped hurried
ly across the road in front of the
Washington to Baltimore motorist"
would hop nonchalantly in front of
the Baltimore to Washington" prod-
gal, disguised as lavender rhino-
ceros, turning your hair. into piano
wire and stopping your heartbeats,
and how 1.-THE curves. the trees. the
bridges took on unexpected and hor-
rible shapes in the searchlight's glare;
the commonplace becoming terribly
grotesque; the colored lights of the
railways looking like the great null
>ticolored eyes Of some nocturnal
monster of the neither regions. Let
him get up and tell how he used to
pray for New Years day to come every
time he made the trip SOS he could
resolve neverSto do 1t again.
The trail from Washington to Balti-
more may sparkle and scintillate with
all the rayishing beauties Of the
Queen Of Night" but from Baltimore
to washington-Oh Boy! Was like a
streaking. roaring slide straight to
the lower regions with the Prince
OF Darkness" waiting at the other end
with a rolling pin.
It's all in the direction men, it's
all in the direction.