South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1920-04-11

Go home and shut off the gas"
Such was the astounding command
contained in a note handed 20 Or.
b. T.. Parker Of the Methodist Epis-
.Copal church during his delivery Of
The sermon on recent Sunday
morning. The pastor was visibly
uOnplussed at the Implication con-
Eeycd ia the message. He lost his
CompOmre but for the moment and
cut Of revenge preached the longest
sermon ever listened 90 IN the
church. delivered with a vehemence
1hat rocked the building from stem
10 stern. The story Of the note came
10 light az a banquet given by the
DOrcas society the past week. Prin-
Cipal Senior Of the nigh school. a
benedict OF a few months. is one Of
the ushcrs IN the church On this
particular occasion his better half
rad accompanied him 20 the service.
and shortly after the preacher had
commenced delivery Of his sermon
remembered she had left the gas
burning under a roast in the oven.
she pencilled the words quoted at
the top OF this paragraph. folded the
paper and handed 10 90 her husband
who happened 70 be showing a late
conner 20 the amen corner. Think
ing it was an announcement FOR
the pastor. the principal handed Il
10 him. II. S-Thc Senior family
dined out that SUNDAY
An Illinois man Of 90 who has
been chewing tobacco immoderateIy
for IS years has quilt and says he
feels much better But for his slaV-
ish appetite for the weed no doubt
this man might have lived to a ripe
old age.
We suppose we may again get IN
bad with some OF our musical critics
by stating that the concert at the
Presbyterian church Easter Sun
day afternoon was the best ever Civ
en- in the city.
The Nevada attorney general who
wants 90 break up the Mary Pick
ford divorce just while Mary is en-
joying her honeymoon may be a
faithful and conscientious officer,
but he is an unfeeling brute.
The American plan seems TO be Ia
strike for liberty i'm time OF war and
for higher wages in "A time of peace
!
We have nothing TO complain Of
conductor who addresses us as Mr.
Smith" stops his car i'm front Of our
shack in the middle Of the block
everytime we are passenger. He
must know we got five dollars com
pensatiOn from the company for in
Juries sustained 20 the seat OF uur
trousers. and probably thinks we are
q brother 20 the manager of the
company In South Bend. else we
would never have had our claim
paid.
With Easter gone we suppose
some Of the girls who got hats the
weather didn't permit them to wear
viii get as mad as hornets when they
see how much less the girls who
waited will be able 10 buy them for.
sss
Half q million gallons OF good
kicky wine has been disposed of IN
New York for passover celebrations
the law permitting the sale for such
purposes. We fancy that many New
Workers will feel like kicking them
selves for having been born GentiIes
when Passover feasts begin.
. Striking for higher wages seems
10 be a universal habit. But we
know this: II everybody be grant.
ed his own price there isn't coins
TO be enough TO go round.
We suppose the Moonshiners
Union IN the Blue Ridge will de
mand an eight-hOur night. which
may bring on a crisis in the form
OF a fOrty-dollar gallon.
Sir Hamar Greenwood has beer
appointed chief secretary for Ire
land. Twelve years ago he was jus
plain Hamar and a good reporter or
the Toronto Evening News. We knew
him then. and knowing him. believ,
he viii long for the old job befor,
he puts in six months on the new
one.
The commandment. Love thy
NeighbOr." is often ignored by tn,
average guy. but Charles W. Guy o.
Kansas city. who married Miss rs
Their NeiEhbOr last week. seems q
be a worthy exception IN the rule