The Washington herald., 1920-09-17
Poor and Cheap as Com
pared With Deeds De-
clares Dorothy Dix.
SEEK TO AID OTHERS
Real Love Is Not Selhshness
But Sacrifice, She
Says.
BY DOROTHY DIN.

woman who is a vcritablc house
hold angel And she is adOTed by
her family. Anyway. they are never
weary Of telling, and other people,
how they love her, and She believes
them. for in His mercy God Or
Iaiued that even the clcv"rrst
woman should be of an idiotic trust
Iulncss and crcdulity where her.
heart is concerned.
Now this woman is as fral and
AS delicate as flower. She is oueI
UI the women who must be shielded
and cared for like a hothousc plant
II she is going to live, but appar-
entity these members Of her own
FouSehoId. who say they are so de-
voted to her hayr never once no.
riccJs how thin she. has grown, how
tired she looks, how she droops in.
her chair.
Her old moth.~. who lives with
her, bIcsses heaven for having be
slowed upon h,r such a daughter,
but she maxi daughter take Il
thousand uuu,. .~sary steps day
10 CRAFTY her a-useIcss whims. and
she rasps daughters nerves to the
breaking point by her ceasslrss
frcttinE and complaining because
she is old. because things are not
like they used to be, because life
generally is as it is.
The husband loves his wife SO
well that nc will never let her 80
away from home even for week $
end. and simply laughs to srorn the
doctors order that she must 70 to
a rest cure for three months other
men may let their wives 20 North
in summer and South in winter. He
is so devoted to his wife that he is
lost when she is away. Why, the
house is empty. and nothing goes
right. and he cant think of q thing
to do. Why. il Upsets him for a
whole evening for her not to be-
waiting at the door for him when
D" comes home At night. And he
pats himself on the chest and SwclIs
out with a sense Of being tho model
lover husband because he is so de
voted To his wife that hr Keeps her
nailed 10 her own fresidc.
Md the children tell You they
have got the best mother on earth.
and the dearest mother. and the
sweetest mother, and the girls VIII
let her sit mp half tho uI-ht to
max them frllly party dresses. and
urE, hen ON by telling her that SuSz-
Sn"oks had real embroidery on her
rock, and won't sh> put little
moro on theirs And the boys scat
ter their clothes and belongings all
over the house, and call for mother
10 hunt their caps and balls and
bats. and double 4er work by need
less clutter.
And the curious part of it all is
that these T-uU., really believe
they love the woman they are muir
darInS. and when they have. .-ut in
their deadly work and she lies at
rcst ar Lust iU her coffin they viii
weep above her and say. s-If-ri-ht-
roUslE. that thank Goodness. they
gave all tH~ affection and apDrccia-
lion She Cravrd.
And they would be- furious if YOU
told them that none of them ever
really truly loved her. that all they
ever loved Was themselves. and that
their l,al.u- for the woman was
measured .u terms Of their own
s-lhsEuesS and what she did to make
Life DIeaSanr for ,hrm but YOU
would Toll them ,b,. truth. never
tn,Il~s
II the mother loved her daughter
.u" would spare her all tho extra
work She puts on her. and her
VIlnSs Of s.Lf-pity for things no
human being can help. II the hIs-
band loved his wife hr would DENY
himself tho comfort Of her presence
FOR the sake Of saving her life. If
the children loved their mothers.
tHe girls would make their own
clothes rather than soc her tired
hands lsbCrinG over them. and the
boys save nor every possible step
by ping their own things in or
der as they do in camp.
In reality. words ar" no test Of
love. And they are pretty poor and
cheap things as compared with
deeds 1t is idle 10 protest our af-
lection when We do nothing to show
It. Real love is not seIfshncss. It
IS sacrifice 1t does not seek its
own, but the happiness Of another.
The man who does nothing to
make his wife happy, who gives her
no little treats who never PAYS her
compliment, who does not even
notice whether she looks i'll or well.
does not love her. no matter how
much he misses her when she is
away from home. He thinks he
loves her, but he only loves the
comfort with which she surrounds
him.
The woman who nags at her hus-
band, who hen-pccks and tyrannizcs
over him, and who makes his life
hard and burdensome, may think
she loves her husband, but she
doesn't She loves only her sense
Of power and the creature comforts
he brings in.
The parents who sacrifice their
children's lives to themselves, who
keep a daughter bound like a slave
TO them because they do not want
TO be waited on by hired hands. or
prevent a son following a career
because they cannot bear to be part
cd from him, only love themselves.
They do not love their children.
1t is no excuse to say that peO-
pie do not think, that man neg
lects his wife, that a wife is cross
and hateful to her husband. that
children rob their parents and par
CutJ sacrifice their children uncon-
sCiously. Real love never forCets.
Il is never blind. 1t is always Sis
tcr-Annc-on-the-H -Housetop looking
out for the welfare of its beloved
There is just one test of love. II.
IS prefcrrinE another before your
so It's thinking Of that other
on" first, last and all the time.