Indiana daily times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1914-1922, 1920-07-01

delegate to the Democratic National
Convention Per Damon Runyon.)
Copyright, 1920. by International News
Service.)
SAN FRANCISCO. July 1. - This
Goofy Beers. the Nut. is around last night
with a couple Of black eyes, and other
injuries and he is very much disguised
with the way things are going at this
democratic convention.
For two cents. Goofy says, he will haul
off and leave it fat, only he says he is
anxious to see how IL comes out.
This Goofy Beers is very much in
favor Of A Mitchell Palmer for presi-
dent of the United States, what with
being Goofy to start with. which IS a
way of saying daffy. and 1t seems that
yesterday he Is sitting in the conven-
ton with the Pennsylvania delegation
waiting for A Mitchell Palmer 10 be
put in nomination.
Well, by and by some offty gets up
and makes a long speech and says he is
going to nominate a certain guy for
president who is such a wonderful guy
to hear him tell 1t, that Goofy figures
IL must be his man. A. Mitchell Palmer.
or anyway some guy from Pennsylvania.
So Goofy started in to cneer. and the
first thing he knows some guy reaches
from in back of him good sock In
the kisser, which Is a way Of saying
face, because II seems It is not A Mitchell
Palmer who is being nominated at all,
but guy by the name Of Owens.
HOW NOT. AND
STILL BE?
Naturally. Goofy is very much out OF
order, but he apologies to one and all
and waits around a while until pretty
soon another bird gets up and spills q
lot OF chatter about n guy he is going
to nominate who sounds so good that
Goofy thinks this is A. Mitchell Palmer
sure, because the way Goofy looks at It,
no other guy can possibly be as good as
the guy the speaker IS talkin about, ex-
cept A Mitchell Palmer
So Goofy bauls of and starts TO bozo
again, which is a way OF saying he bally-
hoos for Palmer, and somebody reaches
out from behind him once more and puts
the slug on him. because 1t seems it Is
not A. Mitchell Palmer. but no one but
a guy by the name Of Gerard.
Well. Goofy apologies to everybody
IN the Pennsylvania delegation and ex-
plains that ha does not understand that
anybody who is not from Pennsylvania
can be as swell a guy as the fellow
claims, Gerard is. but 1t is only few
minutes before Goofy is again whoop-
ing it up for some other bird who is not
A. Mitchell Palmer at all. but nobody but
I euy'by the name of Cummings.
By this time the Pennsylvania delega
ton is very sore indeed. so somebody
puts the slug on GoOfy so good that he
gets up and goes ont to take the air
what with being a little dizzy, and one
thing and another.
Well, when he finally gets back with
the delegation, a fellow is up on the plat
form saying many such pleasant things
about some guy he Is about to nominate,
whoever It is, that Goofy figures that this
time he can not miss especially as the
speaker swears that his man is one of
the best democrats you will find in a
dogs age.
So Goofy interrupts the speaker with
much applause, and then 1t seems the
Pennsylvania delegation gets together
and hurls him right out Of the joint ms
the speaker finally lets it out that he is
only nominating a guy by the name Of
Hitchcock.
Naturally by this time Goofy beers is
much nonplussed. and what to do he
doesn't know, so he goes on back down
town to think it over.
or course, it Is easy to see how GoOfy
is daffy to begin with, or he viii not be
in favor of A. Mitchell Palmer in the
first place, but where Goofy gets most
mixed up is that he never knows before
there are so many good democrats i'm
the party besides A. Mitchell Palmer as
the speakers claim.
In fact. Goofy says he still believes
that some Of the speakers are stealing
A. Mitchell Palmer stuff and claiming
It for their own candidate, but he is not
able TO prove it as yet.
WELL" I say to this Goofy Beers,
you are a pretty lucky guy, at that
You duck quite few other Hckings
by being in favor of A. Mitchell Palmer"
I say.
How do you figure it," Goofy says.
How do l duck out hckings?"
why" I say, "by not being in favor
of John w. Davis.
"He is not nominated even yet" I say.