South Bend news-times., 1920-02-01

i've just finished reading the
| forty-seven hundredth explanation Of
What Makes a Widow Attractive"
exclaimed the widow, tapping the
pink and purple "girl-cover' of the
fluffy magazine with an impatient
finger. You'd fancy 1t was some
deep, dark. unfathomable mystery. -
| We'll, what is it," demanded the
bachelor sinking comfortably into
the padded arm chair and stretching
his grateful fingers toward the
cracking fire.
"Matrhmony, Mr.. Weatherby," an
nounced the widow, impressively.
Nothing. but matrimony. 1t tones
woman down so. and smoothes off
all the sharp points OF her wit, and
/ the rough edges OF her temper. and
| opens her eyes, and irons all the
wrinkles and crotches out OF her dis
position, like-like a steam roller. As
the lady from Reno remarked, Mar
riage is a wonderful experience
u have had"
And yet" complained the bache-
| lor lit doesn't seem to have any
magic effect on a man. You never
]
widower. Nobody ever immortalized
the man with a black neck tie and a
broken heart, in song or story. No
body ever said A little widower is
dangerous thing
No" laughed the widow. every
body always pictures a widower as
a pathetic object. with long side
whiskers and a crepe-bound hat, a
sallow. sad-eyed face and no pep or
backbone. But I've found widowers
most attractive. There is something
as romantic and fascinating 10 me
about black band on young mans
coat sleeve as there IS about shoul-
der-straps or medals. Resides a
widower is so comforting-and so
comfortable
And so easily pleased and SO easi-
ly entertained and so easily fattered
and SO easily married. rejoined
the bachelor, cynically. It's a shame
10 take the wedding ring from a man
who has been through the battle and
storm OF one marriage, and has no
fight lett in him"
still" persisted the widow,
thoughtfully lingering her tulle and
silver draperies. "a wfdower under
stands all a woman's little whims
and idiosyncracies an dweak spots.
and is so much more tolerant and
tender and considerate than a bache-
Tor. 4 man who has been broken 20
double harness makes a far safer,
saner and more satisfying husband.
than a 'bucking broncho,' who has
never known the touch Of a gentle
hand on the reins."
"Humph," commented the bache-
lor. yiciously swapping open his
cigarette case, Il guess that's what's
the matter with EN-. There's no ex-
citernent in driving old Dobbin.'
Marriage takes all the pep and self
confidence out OF a man. II may
make him a better husband, but il
takes away all his dash and color
and spice, as lover"
1T does take the conceit and ego
tism and all the CockadOOdle-do
spirit out OF him, IL that's what you
mean" admitted the widow, cheer
fully. and I suppose a young girl
with romantic ideas would rather be
brow beaten and kept guessing and
tormenting her soul over a man. just
for the excitement OF it, than 10 find
her conquest as easy and simple as
playing tit-tat-toe or Crocheting q
chRin-stitch. But. II it's the steam
roller effect OF marriage, which fiat
tens a man out and makes him less
scintillating. and capricious. and sou
distracting. it's also the steam roller
effect OF marriage which makes q
woman more attractive-from q
mans point or view A young cir
may crave thrills and a stimulant,
hut what a man wants from a WON.
an is sympathy and an anaesthetic' .
Exactly" agreed the bachelor
"a man hates 10 he kept jumping