The Pulaskian., 1920-09-09


 like to be, but that is all"
 You are q hideous old fool" I said. but I think I can handle you, and I give you warning"
 T am going to be quite friendly" said Jed.
 You flatter yourself" I said.
 Well, anyway" he said, I'm friend ly."
 He proved to be so. The life of the house went placidly from day to day. Isobel, with a sense of our posturing toward each other, made moekfng ges- lures of affection which shocked her mother. She particularly delighted to demonstrate, when Jed was serving dinner. I thought she would end by getting me shot in the back, but Jed had rated me finally as unimportant, which did my egotism no good. For such a rascal to discard me, formally betrothed as I was to Isobel in his girl, was preposterous.
 If Mrs. Sidney had known that was idiotically in love with Isobel, she would not have sought relief from her distress by the arrangement which made me her daughters protective f1ance. The only thing I could take credit for in this absurd situation was that Mrs. Sidney was not allowed to know the state of my feelings.
 was as sensible as a corrupting TO- manticism would permit me to be. I knew that any affection I might place in this fashion was real and serious emotional vice, which if not controlled might lead to unhappiaess. That con- sciousness had steadied me- but 1t had not delivered me
 Isobel walked brightly through the old house of tragedy-as surely it was, however hidden the tragedy. She was the glint of sunshine in the aisles of the dark woods, the odor of roses against the wall. She had the charm of the hollyhocks, the freshness of the hepatiea in the spring, the beauty of the wild rose in June.
 If I showed my feeling more than q liver sausage shows soul, [ hope l may be punished. What I thought of Isobel was my own affair, so long as I kept 1t strictly my own affair.
 took myself ia hand with as much energy and promptness as l could, fol- lowing the announcement of our en- gagement. I did not want to confess myself fool I did not intend to do so if could help 1t.
 I overdid it. I became disagreeable. as possible. I never willingly was alone with her. I did my best to avoid meeting her or speaking to her. Isobel net the situation with her natural frankness after I had been giving this demonstration of myself for some time.
 Doctor" she said, this household necessarily imposes friendships upon the people in it. I wonder if we could not be little more agreeable to each other"
 did not know what to say. hoped not to be hypocrte, and I did not want to be absurd.
 'I shall be glad to be as agreeable as I caa," said after some mental stuttering. q want to be, but l am so awkward"
 q want to be, too" said Isobel "and if we both want to be, we shall not have to glover at each other every time we meet. Even mother does not require it and father would detest it.''
 Without saying anything more, she made me see that I had used a cheap device to escape the consequences of a foolish affection. The girl in very friendly fashion had shown me that my avoidance of her was marked, cool and unreasonable. 1t was wholly req sonable from my poor standpoint, but from no other.
 I saw that was meeting my difficult ty by running away from it. and not only did not like the timidity of escape in this fashion, but furthermore, l did not like the opinion Isobel formed of, me because of it. had to face the music, and after shat did. It ought not to have astonished me that l felt better instantly. I knew that cow
 
 I imagine If I had not seemed such a professional stick, such thing aloof from human emotions, Isobel would have been merely friendly and kind. AS it was sine was tantalizing. She liked me we'll enough. but that meant very little. Ii she did not drive, ride, walk oy play tennis with me, she had cnoAe of the servants. It was l or nothing
 I was with Mir Sidney a number of hours every day. They varied, some times seven or eight a day in different periods, sometimes three or four. Very little of this time was occupied i'll pro- fessional duty. Life at Hartley house would have been intolerably lonesome if I had been there merely as prac- ritioner. And therefore I welcomed routine that was outside my profes- S;d,au had n dQliPncV Of