davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1920-04-02

WE BUY, raise and sell fur-bear-
ing animals. Place your order with
us. and list whatever stock you have
with us, stating lowest prices on lar
&c Shipments 515-517S n.
F. Ave. N. D.
References: Scandinavian Amer
an Bank, Fargo National Bank
Fargo N. Oak.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1920-04-02

WANTED-100 bark peelers on or
about April 10th. Come to Hotchklss
Va, on C. & O. R. R. Cow Pasture
River camps near Williamsville, va.
Highest current wages. including
hoard .-Millobro Lumber Co. Inc,
Hotchkiss, Bath Co., Va.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1920-04-02
NOTICE

The regular State examination for
applicants to teach will be held at
Monterey, April 80, and May1, 1920.
R. E. Mauzey, Div. Supt.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1920-04-02

Methodist Episcopal Church, High
land charge, Geo. w. Thumm, Pastor,
church services as follows:
First Sunday of each month, Union
Chapel, preaching at IL a. m.
Second Sunday, Wesley, preaching
at II a. m. Sieg, Sunday school at 2
p. m. Preaching at p. m. Trinity
preaching at 1880 p. m.
Third Sunday, Asbury, Sunday
school at 10 am. Preaching at II
a. m. Thorny Bottom, Sunday school
at 2 p. m. Preaching at 8 p. m.
Fourth Sunday, Green Hill, preach
ing at II a. M, cottage prayer meet
ing each Sunday evening at Z p. m.
Fairview, preaching at $3.50 p. m.
Glass meeting second Sunday each
month at 1890 a. m.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1920-04-02
Deaths

Andrew ]. Beverage, a native OF
Crabbottom died at the home of his
adopted daughter, Mrs Edward Sim
mons on South Branch two weeks ago
or more. an item of news overlooked
by our correspondents.
Mr.. Beverage was born in 1885,
hence rs wears old. He was twice mar
ried but had no children. His first
wife, was Miss Sarah Lantz, the sec
ond Miss Susan Jack.
Mr.. Beverage was the last surviy
ing member of his family and an ex-
cellant man and esteemed citizen.
Charles Wade, well known resid-
ent of Back Creek section of the
county died at the home of his neph-
ew, James Wade near Mill Gap on
Saturday evening, Mar. 27.
Mr.. Wade had been in i'll health
for several years, seeking relief at
one time at the University hospital
He was paralyzed last fall and had
been practically helpless since then.
He was a son of the late Abraham
Wade, unmarried and about 81 years
old. He was one of a large family of
children, among those living in High
land: John Wade, Mrs. Wash Gum,
Mrs. Minnie Terry. Other brothers
and sisters whose names we have
learned are Boone Wade, of Bath, Mrs
Woods Gum, Mrs. Frank Wade, of W.
Va.
The funeral took place Sunday af-
ternoon, conducted by Rev. Mr..
Thumm of the M. E. church of which
Nh. Wade was member.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1920-04-02

NOTICE-Brass, aluminium, rubber
rags, all kinds, books and magazines
bones Will pay market price.
G.. G. Ralston,
Mont rey Va
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1920-04-02
BUSINESS LOCALS
FOR SALE

FOR SALE
Golden Wyandotte and Rhode Is
land Red Eggs, $3.50 for Is.
Mrs. H. C. LUNSFORD
ct Monterey, Va.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1920-04-02

FOR SALE, FORD TOURING CAR.
Good running condition. License
paid for this year. Cheap for quick
buyer. j. Z. LoCkRlDuE'
Ak Flood, Va.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1920-04-02

FOR SALE OR RENT-Forks-of
Water store. For further information
apply to,
Mrs. Lucy Colaw, R. F. D /.
Monterey, Va
3-5-4ts
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1920-04-02
CHURCH SERVICES
Crabbottom Charge:

Crabbottom Charge:
LIST Sunday, Central II a. m. New
Church p. m.
End Sunday, Union Chapels11 a. m.
Central p. m.
3rd Sunday; New Church IL a. m.
Central p. m.
4th Sunday, Circleville II a. m.
Dry Run 8 p. m.
H. w. LINDAMOOD, Pastor
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1920-04-02

WANTBD-Amilk cow at once,
pLrc-bred short horn preferred, Gull
or write.
Mrs. S. N. Beverage
Monterey, Va
The herald and news. [volume] (Newberry S.C.) 1903-1937, 1920-09-21

school work in the class room will
begin the following Monday NOM
Ing.
The classes will be arranged and
the lessons assigned and time given
to secure the necessary books before
regular school work begins.
On Thursday morning the patrons
and friends of the school are request
ed to meet at the school house and
to welcome teachers and pupils, and
the children of course will be there
to be classified and assigned work.
There will be several talks to the pa
irons by friends of the achocl and
all are invited to be present ana take
part in the exercises.
The teachers for the year are Miss
Dorothy Buzhardt, principal; Misses
Helen Nichols and MauGc Epting.
The herald and news. [volume] (Newberry S.C.) 1903-1937, 1920-09-21

People read The Herald and News
I'D tell US about it. One citizen
avs the blowing Of that locomotive
whistle doesn't disturb him near so
luch as the early morning daily
lasts of the cotton mills Whistles.
We told him it was necessary to do
hat blowing, but he seems to think
could be curtailed little. Some
eople are sick and nervous and the
oud prolonged noise disturbs them.
Ve are not butting in, but in defer
nee to said citizens feelings we
ust ask if it really takes such long
flowing to wake up the neighbor-
lood? 1t would seem that one laud,
ong blast would be sufficient
% arouse the sleepers right
At the doors. 1t doesn't
bother the writer, but Ethere are
,thers." He would rather hear those
:c,jle long" blows than to hear cats.
md owls.
The herald and news. [volume] (Newberry S.C.) 1903-1937, 1920-09-21

County Committee-Mrs. R. D
Wright, Mrs. F. r. HJl,er, Mrs. l.
W. Floyd, Mrs. R. Herman Wright
Miss Maggie Thomasson.
Township Committee, Ward i
Mrs. Arthur Kioier, chairman; Mrs.
eugene Blease, Miss Minnie Salter.
Mrs. Ben Buzhardt.
Ward Miss Mary L. Burton,
:hairnlan; Mrs. James hinard, Mrs.
Talu 4Aull, Mrs. R. c. Sigh, Mrs. L.
c. Cousins.
Ward 3-Mrs. J. H. Summer,
chairman; Mrs. 5. c. Mathews, Mrs.
p. G. Ellesor, Mrs. j. R. Eison, Miss
1arrie Bell West.
Ward 4-Miss Blanche Davidson,
hartman; Mrs. J. T. Eiscn, Miss
Nora Long. Mrs. Joe Feagle.
Ward 5-Mrs. J. N. Davis, chair
nan; Mss Helen Anderson, Mrs.
Sallie S. Danle!son, Mrs. Puma X.
Booth.
Township No. Miss Ola Brown,
chairman; Mrs. j. s. Ruff, Miss Mary
Brown
Township No. 3-Mrs. Minnie
Caldwell, chairman; Mrs. W. c.
Rutherford, Mrs. Helen Henderson,
Miss VI. L. Henderson.
Township No. Mrs. W. A. An
drews. chairman; Mrs. John Miller,
Mrs. Elmore Suber. Mrs. Fannie
Metts, Mrs. Z. H. Suber.
Township No. 5-Mrs. l.. c. Smith,
The herald and news. [volume] (Newberry S.C.) 1903-1937, 1920-09-21

South Carolina. Judge P. A. Nc
Elroy fined Mayfeld $500 and costs,
Sandifer $3.50 and costs, and sus-
pended judgment on Breedin upon
payment of costs.
Mr.. Mayfeld went on the stand to
explain the affair to the judge. He
said the negroes left South Carolina
owing him several hundred dollars
which he had advanced, and also left
their crops. Before leaving they had
disposed of some property on which
he had a mortgage. Some time before
the abduction he received a letter, he
said, stating that they were willing
to return. SO in company with San
differ and Breedin he came after
them.
In Wadesboro, he testified, he en-
listed the services of J. F. Tice, a
constable Of the township, who ac-
companied them to the home Of the
negroes. When they were admitted
to the home Of the negroes Breedin
and Tice had their pistols out.
The negroes went with them will
in2iy, he said, bat were handcufed
as . matter of precaution.
Mayheid's car got stuck in the mud
he testified. and after unavailing eff
forts to get it out, in which the
negroes helped, Tice and IBreeGin
were sent to Wadesboro with the ne
groes. There car was secured and
the negroes were carried across the
The herald and news. [volume] (Newberry S.C.) 1903-1937, 1920-09-21
THE WOMEN TO RAISE
DOLLARS FOR DEMOCRACY

To the Democratic Women of New
berry County:
We feel that it is only necessary
to inform you that Newberry county
is being organized for the purpose
Of caring Systematically for your
contributions to the national Demo
cratic campaign fund. We are sure
of yorn. interest and aid.
The Republican committee has
raised millions of dollars, On the
other hand an S. o. S. call for funds
has just come from Democratic head
quarters. The time is very short.
Make your response quickly.
Mrs. R. A. Cooper, the state chair
man. has asked the central commit
tee of this county to appoint commit
tees ii the various townships. 1t has
beeo impossible to confer with the
chairmen and members Of these COM
mittees, due to the shortness OF time.
Even though. some of you may
have been opposed to suffrage, 1t IS
now a law of our country and the
patriotic duty of every woman in the
county to work and to contribute.
Send in your funds, from women and
men. to Miss Maggie Thomasson,
county treasurer. For information
communicate with the secretary, Mrs.
Herman Wright.
The herald and news. [volume] (Newberry S.C.) 1903-1937, 1920-09-21
Dr.. Thomas II. Pope appointed

Dr. Thomas II. Pope appointed
rood committee when he named DR..
J. VI. kibler, chairman, with Dr.. P.
7. Ellesor and Dr.. +. D. Mower as
members Of the hospital committee.
Newberry needs a hospital and will
lave one if the citizens cooperate
with the physicians in this important
as they should. The doc
;ors will do their part, and we be-
ieye the community will also.
The herald and news. [volume] (Newberry S.C.) 1903-1937, 1920-09-21
SuVEPSTREET SCHOOL HAS
FORMAL OPENING THURSDAY

The formal opening of the Silver
street school will be held in the
school auditorium on Thursday morn
inc at 9 o'clock and the regular
The herald and news. [volume] (Newberry S.C.) 1903-1937, 1920-09-21

36 inch w Wool French Serge. Color, Navy and
Black. Price the yard NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.. rs
~ inch Wool Storm Serge. Color, Navy and
Black. Price the yard d.......~.............$1sO Sc
A2 inch Wool French Serge. Color, Navy only.
Price the yard $3.50
~ inch all Wool Storm Serge, sponged and
shrunk. Color, Navy only. Very special price
the ward 300
All Wool Storm Serge, sponged and shrunk.
Black only. Priced very special the yard, "A
men SS'z2 p %
81 inch
s. inch Al Wool French Serge, a beautiful
quality, NaEE c5ljg. Price the yaEC.......,..S $50
Il i2.c1 II; Tool Cream French Serge, beau
tifal duality for infant coats. Price the yard $685.
20 inch Black Ottoman. Price the yard..$4. 90
&c irch laZE I'rcot.ne. Price the yard...SS.75
;5S inch Navy Tr;cot;ne. Price the yard.".s7.50
A2 inch Costume Vevcts Price the yard....s6oo
sc mel! 17o~e'*5- Wool P!aldSs and Stripes. Eli
tbs seasons Datterns.
i u yard IeGnired for Skirt. Skirt ready made
Of same ora!jty material sells for as much as
$500. Price the yard .....................So.7o
Novelty Wool Mixed Plaids and Stripes a., Price
the yard and $l.z5
Sc inch Cotton Shepherd Plaids. Price the
yard
~ inch Wool Mixed Shepherd Plaid. Price the
20 inch All Wool Shepherd PIaids Price the
yard and $500
So inch Cotton Serge. Colors Red, Green, Navy,
Brown, Copen, Cream and Black. Price the
JI!IQ NfoS
SIS inch All Wool Red Flannel for niddys and
children coats. Price tie yard $500
2S inch All Wool Red Flannel Price $3.50,
$500 and S2.25
White Flannes. Price the yard soc, 6oc and
$l.25
COTTON YARD GOODS
27 inch Dress Cinghams. Price the yard 25c
ans: 35c
90 inch Dress Ginghams. Price the yard SOC
and S0c
90 inch Romper Cloth Price the yard.......45c
SO inch Percales light and dark colors. Price
the yard ...........35c and A5c
36 inch Bleachings. Price the yard Csc, Soc
and Csc
The herald and news. [volume] (Newberry S.C.) 1903-1937, 1920-09-21
CASE COMES
TO A SUDDEN END
Mayneld Fined $500. Sandifer $3.50.
Suspended Judgement Against
Breedin.

Wadesboro, y. c.. Sept. 1S.-W.
D. Mayfeld. H. B. Sandifer and
James Breedin of Bamberg county,
South Carolina. today plead guilty to
the charge of abducting two negroes
from the farm of J. NJ. Zorn, near
Wadesboro, and carrying them to
The herald and news. [volume] (Newberry S.C.) 1903-1937, 1920-09-21
South Carolina line. Mayfeld anc
Sandifer followed in another car.
Impersonated Officers?


The negroes said Mayfield's part,
gained adnittance to their house b,
representing themselves as revenu
officers. This Mayfeld denied. Tn,
negroes also denied that they wen
willingly but stated that they wer'
forced to go
Mayfeld Gives Bond.
In addition to the fine Mayfielr
was required to give bond in til
sum of $1,000 for appearance at tn
next term of Arson county superio
court to show that the cases whic
were brought against the negroes i;
8amberg county and for which the.
are now out on bond, had been dis
missed.
Mayield and his associates cam,
to Wadesboro voluntarily to stan,
trial. They stated that at the tim.
of the abduction they we're not awarc
that they were breaking Norti
Carolina law and that they can.
back to submit to whatever punish
ment the court might decide. The,
We're accompanied by several lawyer
and friends and the whole party lef'
today for their homes in Bambere
county.
The herald and news. [volume] (Newberry S.C.) 1903-1937, 1920-09-21
BED FURNISHINGS

All Wool Plaid Blankets Colors, Pink, Blue,
Hello, Red, Tan and Black. Same quality as sold
last year at $4,000. Price the pair......:$ $1,000
Large Size Heavy Cotton Blankets, gray and
tan with coiored border. Price the par...S4 S4.95
10-4 Pepperal bleached sheeting, yard 81 90
9-4 Pepperal bleached sheeting, yard DOC
l0-4 Pepperal unoleached sheeting, yard.sO
"a Peppe2al unbleached sheeting, yard S5c,
IDENTITY Bed Spreads. Price each S2.75, $500
and $3.50
White Quilts. Price $780, $3.50, $500, $3.50
to $500
The herald and news. [volume] (Newberry S.C.) 1903-1937, 1920-09-21

Subscribe to The Herald az
News, $500 a year.
The herald and news. [volume] (Newberry S.C.) 1903-1937, 1920-09-21

Long Cloth Price the yard 3oc, 35c, 4oc and
SOC
Nainsooks. Price the yard Csc, 35c, SOC and 6Oc
MILDLY Twills. Price the yard ........39c to SOC
36 inch Bleached Pajama Checks. Price the
Checked and Striped IDENTITY. Price the
yard 3Oc, 4Oc and 5Oc
Shirt Madras. Price the yard 35c, 60c, Csc and
S5c
Solid Color Chambry. Price the yard &c. SOC
and GOc
Light and Dark Outings Price the yard 35c
and AOc
Apron Ginghams, best quality. Price the
Cbeyiots, Skirt and Dress patterns. ..25c and 35c
1900 Cotton Remnants and Short Lengths on
sale at about II Price
1000 Wool Remnants lengths from 1-2 to
yards various cloths and colors. On sale at about
IL E2rico
lTecccr;zed Table Danask Price the yard 75c,
s. 90 SO r..c3 SITS
al Pure Line Table Damask. Price the yard
S2.So, 500, go and $3.50
Eiercerized Napkins. Price the dozen $3.50,
$50 end $500
All Linen Napkins Price the dozen 5000,
$12.5o and $500
Turkish Towels. Price each 35c, SOC, 6Oc to
$1.oo
.}Huck Towels Price each Zoe, Csc, s5c and SOC
Linen Towels. Price each $780, S1.25, $3.50
to $2.25
'3@ SILKS
Silk Plaid and Stripes for Skirts and Dresses.
Price the yard $1.5O
Silk Messaline. Color, Blue, Red, Gray Rose,
White and Black. Price the yard. .95
Silk Taffeta;; Color, Navy, Black and Brown:
Charmeuse Color, Navy, Black, Toupe and
Plum. Price the yard $3.95
Satin, good quality. Color Brown, Blue and
Black. Price the yard .......".............w$2.5O
Peau de Soir Price the yard ..$3.95 and $4.95
Silk Poplin. Color, Black, Navy and White.
Price the yard ............ 81 rs
Heavy Crepe de Chine and Crepe Meteor; black
only. Was selling for $500 yard. Now, Price
ttIc e1u
$500 value, Price the yard $2.95
The herald and news. [volume] (Newberry S.C.) 1903-1937, 1920-09-21
WE SELL HOME PATTERNS
They combine style, comfort and economy,
are the simplest and most accurate

Crepe de Chine, values that sold for $500,
Price the yard ................ ... .$2.25
The Snyder signal. (Snyder, Tex.) 1887-????, 1920-10-22
A. the Presbyterian Church.

10 n. m. Sunday School IL a. H.
and $3.50 p. m. preaching
subject for morning discourse
Greed VS.. Christianity. For the ev-
onine discourse Conservation oil the
Rody" what will your body do next
sunday? God commands "RememDer
the sabbath day to keep II holy
win you remember. c,,our
what place does THE SaDoath
ooonnv In your creed? Think this out
Come and let us think 1t out To-
gether. ,,,.,,, Pastor
The Snyder signal. (Snyder, Tex.) 1887-????, 1920-10-22
The Signal is auth odlzed to an

The Signal is authodized to an
nounce that there will be big dem,
ocratic rally at the court house ~
seven o'clock next Monday night'
Local speakers will discuss the po,
lItical situation and seek to urge tn as
people to vote The sensus ilsuI n,
nave reduced our chances In the mat .so-
Ter of representation and our power
IN future conventions will be meas.
nred by the number of votes cast TOT
governor.
The Snyder signal. (Snyder, Tex.) 1887-????, 1920-10-22

The Old Home Singers, the closing
number of the Chautauqua Wednes-
dav night had full house and they
gave satisfaction. The old songs were
greatly enjoyed by the people. we
are apt to set store by the new sohss
but those old time melodies sur ov y,
memories and appeal to the heart, ~
is understood that the receipts 10.
49,. season were sufficient to meet
all allegations and then some
The Snyder signal. (Snyder, Tex.) 1887-????, 1920-10-22

Mr. \ G. Heslip of Shawnee, OK
lahoma arrived in snyder m Cnon '
and Is in negotiation with the nan ,hr
her of Commerce with view 10 INV
secretaryship.
The Snyder signal. (Snyder, Tex.) 1887-????, 1920-10-22

Permanently located man haVlhs
knowledge of bookkeeping, dry goous
and clothing desires steady empio!ss
ment. No objection to any klnu oI
outside work. xxx Care Signal Tsp
The Snyder signal. (Snyder, Tex.) 1887-????, 1920-10-22

John Haney said yesterday that ne
lacks 40 acres of having his cot.om
picked over. He is making naa.
hale to the acre. Quite lo' "'o'
,bon he has been eXreoti1g.
The Snyder signal. (Snyder, Tex.) 1887-????, 1920-10-22

We now have for sale cottonseed
meal at $500 per sack ana Cotton tno
seed hulls at 5000 per ton at e snc
ILL m,lI Fuller Cotton oil Company'zoe
The Snyder signal. (Snyder, Tex.) 1887-????, 1920-10-22

Mrs. Neyland and baby OF Ie -
aro yisiting her Uncle Judge H. -,
I Johnson and Mrs. Waterman anO
The Snyder signal. (Snyder, Tex.) 1887-????, 1920-10-22

Rorn in snyder Oct. 16 to Mr. ana
Ntre George Townsend boy
The Snyder signal. (Snyder, Tex.) 1887-????, 1920-10-22
Eyes Tested, Glasses Fitted. /. G. 'owe, up'one'|S
You're a Skeptic?-Well So Was

You're a Skeptic?- Well So Was
DAYS. protect III.
that Miracle Motor gas WI"
from ito You not behee na' WI
and carbon All right Just eao the
;nr used Miracle Moor gas ci
tn and convinced that 1t VIII DO all we a' " "
Money hack increase mileage and prevent caoo"'
" WOICOT and
the and that car
signd)
with previously
+ woLcorT, ,uo. ca. Thorough gadt
paqucke ever before nave
Find u money saver am
husn hgh
F. w WoNo deal o and dvhs
MhadeMo
Woo stand recommend
Dear ~ror wrunng has more power
Mrd
PROOF see WHAT ASS" r0" A
and sofok school oil Mines" '
eraaor Oklahoma state schools OF
rased o
ageof 4 G.
lsr,esI a
o
today and if using satisfied win
no balance berfundc Miracle N"o'''
amBrs& Co or
F.W. WOLCOTT, Distributor.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-11-26
Al JOB FOR MOBILE

From the Mobile Register.
 It appears that the government IS prepared to go ahead with the con- struction of the coal terminals at Mo- bile just as soon as the governments one stipulation is complied with. That stipulation is that free site be pro- vided for the structures. At the pres ent writing no announcement has been made of the definite purchase of the: property and the turning of the title over to the federal government. It. Is of utmost importance to Mobile and to Alabama that the free site be acquired and offered at the earliest possible mo- ment The federal governmentw will not long await action on the part of this city. In fact if there should be any delay, however short, there is no doubt that the s4o0, 900 would be reappro- priated to development in some other center where local appreciation is more in evidence. Mobile cannot afford any such setback to her growth. Local en- terprise must concern itself with the acquiring of the site. a nact that should be but a small matter for business men. If we plan to do anything for ourselves and are baked by the first expenditure of less than s1oo,oO0, we shall find it hard to convince others of our ability to achieve. Tn ecoalterminal site is our first job Let it be done thoroughly and at once.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-11-26
CONSTANTINE AND HIS KINGDOM

From the New York Times G7T1 HE Rhallis>Gournaris ministery has
 postponed the plebiscite on the re-
 = turn of King Constantine to Greece; but. as venizelos foresaw, the election was the real plebiscite With Venizelos beaten, the King was certain to come back if he could; and the French seem to be right in their contention that the selection of Dowager Queen Olga as regent in place of Admiral Koundouriotes already settles the succession A plebis- cite is unnecessary, and if it is held it's result can easily be controlled. Con- staltine will come back unless his friends in Athens think it is not safe to ask him, or unless France interferes.
 French interference might be illegal and would certainly be unwise. If the Greeks want Constantine, let them ha him and make the best of him; he will make trouble for France and every one else, no doubt, but it would make more trouble to insist on overruling sov- ereisp state which asked him to return. To bA sure, Constantine declares that he will make no trouble for anybody. He will continue the foreign policy of Veni- zelos; he would rather be King of S.00O,0O0 people, half of whom Venizelos added to
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-11-26
LUKE M'LUKE SAYS

The reason why q 7-year- girl isn't proud of her figure is because she isn't old enough to know that she has one.
 There was a time when illegible, scrawly handwriting was regarded as a sissn. of genius. But nowadays it is re- garded as a sign of illiteracy.
 After company has stuck around for three weeks, the host begins to believe that company mistakes Hospitality for a lease on the place.
 It tickles a girl almost as much to have some other girls brother muss up her hair as it makes her mad to have her own brother muss up her hair.
 A girl would rather spend a month in a dentists chair than let her mustache grow to hide her crooked teeth. But it is different with man.
 Once in a while you will see an over dressed woman whose diamonds are about as genuine as her complexion.
 Store hair must be getting cheaper. Anyway, the women do not seem to be saving their combings any more.
 One reason why woman can remem- Der her honeymoon is because it was the last time her husband spent any money on her without holiering.
 A man feels proud of himself when the first baby comes along. But he feels sorry for himself when the sixth baby comes along.
 Every man likes to believe that when he dies he will have the longest funeral ever pulled off in his towp