The Chattanooga news. [volume] (Chattanooga, Tenn.) 1891-1939, 1920-09-07
Bits ofBypLay
ByLUKE Mel luxe
Copyright. 1920. by
The Cincinnati enquirer.

Wealthy,
He is u wealthy man, hear ~
He 10 a millionaire, tits said;
They say he can afford to smear
Thick gobs OF butter on his bread.
society Note. g,A
Mrs. Profteering PhOol held a recep-i
tion at her $500. 900 home yesterday aft
ernoon. She was attired In a gown that
cost 81 900. She wore a necklace valued
at $4,000. a brooch valued at 5000, and
rings worth $500, The rug on the
floor OF the drawing room In which
the guests were received cost $1,000,
the tapestries $22,000 and the paint
ings $4,000. Her four $1,000 limousinesI
were on display in front of the house.
The orchestra used at the reception
The flowers cost 5000. and the lunch
and punch cost not less than $3.50. The.
livery worn by the servants valued At
49, 500. The pay OF the servants is said
the display of wealth was the most
vulgar OF the season. and other society
leaders Will have hard time match
ing 1t.
A corn fed may have excess weight.
But she doesn't worry. I'll steight
She huns a gay air.
and she hasn't a care,
For she knows that her hips are on
steisht e.o,o,.
'Tm at the top" said Mr.. Rock.
Because didn't quit and groan:
/ went and turned each stumbling block
Into helpful stepping stone"
The Wise Fool.
ut is hard to tell the truth without
causing pain and embarrassment to
Others" observed the Sage.
That's right" agreed the Fool.
Custom demands that you put the lie
-" cnrrent
IT hate bigot," said old Dan.
And I'll tell you, my brothers.
There isn't much good In the man
Who sees no good In others"
Sh-h-h-hl
Don't tip IL off to the booze. Sher-
locks. But Ruby Wyne lives a Brandy.
W. Va.
Aw, Gwan!
A man named Yeti is mayor OF AUS
tin, Tex. We hope he is Mayor Yeti.
don't you?
Yum. Yum!
How about the Ramms Meat Market
in Sandusky, o.?
Isn't This Lovey Weather. ~
(Piqua, Ohio, Ger. Dayton Journai) VA
Oficers and employees of the Inns
perial Underwear company laid aside all
thoughts of undergarments Thursday
and advocated that day to picnic
What's the, Fare to Tulsa?
You can find Iona Barr in the city
auditors office, Tulsa Okla.
Firms Is Firms.
The o. 3. Wize Pulyerzer Co. is lo-
Gated in Knoxville. Tenn.
That's Tellln' EN- somethIn'.
Cad. in Knoxville Sentinel.) ~
ANYONE found in or about my chick W
en- house will be found there the next
morning. Harry Gadd, r. +. d. IL.
Notice.!
We hate to do it, but we have to re
quest Rayna Snow Frost OF Portland,
Ind, to stay away from the club.
Tell Me Not In Back Numbers. X
Get busy with your head and hands,
Don't wear lazy frown: 49,
You can't make footprints in the sands
OF time by sitting down.
Luke McLuke.
Such logic is almost a crime,
Be not by it Z misled;
You can't footprint the sands of time /
BY standing on your head ~.
Footprints are Of a bygone day.
And circumstances teach
That none looks at them anyway
When girls are on the beach. 49,
Newark Advocate.
Names Is Names,
Shee Shook lives In Fort Worth, Tex.
Our Daily Special
The Thinner They Are the More They
Eat. 5,..-.,..
Luke MoLuke Says. a..
You may not believe it, but you can
be mighty useful citizen even II your
ties do not harmonic with your socks.
And what has become of the o. +. girl 4
who, used to play thre. piano with her
hands?
Why is 1t that girl isn't ashamed
Of dirty powder rag the way she rs
ashamed of dirty handkerchief?
The taste for olives and virtue has
to be cultivated. But the taste for
candy and vice seems to be Unborn.
The hi cost of living wasn't such a !.
much in the old days wher Pop Goes
the Weasel" was considered devilish
lance tune.
A woman will cheerfully buy 800
worth of useless junk from an agent
{ she doesn't have to pay anything
Town.
A chronic rheumatic can't see what
ha HEX the government needs with a 81
weather forecaster.
A man will go. out with a painted
chicken. But you can bet that he won't Il
,ome home to one. "a