The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-12-30

Those Surplus Millions.
Queer Things Dollars Do.
Henry Ford, Meet a lew.
Trillions-Dizzy Figures.
ARTHUR BRISB
Copyright. isfo.)

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Y. NJ. G. A. has many millions left
over from its war collecting, would
II be a bad idea to use those mil
lions to feed the starving children
In Europe?
But II Christ returned, and II He.
who had not where to lay His head,
found Himself, by miracle. pos
sessed OF the surplus millions OF
the Y. M. c. A. and saw hundreds
OF thousands of children starving
to death, what would He do with
that money?
w. b. Leeds, the tin-plate man,
used to wonder about money and
it's effect. He found himself sud
denly, thanks to the gentle art OF
stock watering, possessed Of tens
Of millions. Shortly before he died.
he said to this writer: "I'd give a
million dollars to anybody that
would tell me how to keep my only
son from being made a fool by my
servants and my friends that flat
ter him"
III they get the news from Greece
in Heaven, Leeds knows this morn
ing that his only son is reported
engaged to Princess Olga, a niece
of the Greek King. The boys
mother lately married the Kings
brother. II the marriage goes
through, Mrs. Leeds will be her
sons aunt by marriage and the in
telligent Greek royal family will
have absorbed all that there is left
Of the Leeds family and millions.
Leeds might ask over again the
question about keeping a rich
mans son from being a fool, and
add a question or two about his
charming widow, as he looks down
on his boy trotting around Athens,
financing secondhand royalty and
barely tolerated in return for the
golden juice squeezed out Of him.
American dollars do queer things
abroad. They put new plumbing
and heating into the palace that
England gave to the Duke Of Marl-
borough. That was Vanderbilt
money.
Gould money helped one French
count to make more complete
fool of himself, and then, via the
divorce court, went on to enable a
prince to do the same.
Dollars gathered by old Levi
Letter, of Chicago, made it pos
sible for one English gentleman
to become Viceroy of India and
do" Durbar like the right sort.
Vanderbilt money from another
branch repaired castles in Hun
gary and helped to finance a white
terror. Now Leeds money, accord
ing to dispatches, is offering to fix
up a palace at Corfu for the for
mer German kaiser. The scheme
is to bring him from Holland in a
flying machine. He is a relative Of
the Leeds molsy rsyni family. If
you go in for royalty, there's moth
ing like having the real thing on
the premises.
Could you imagine anything
more interesting than a little
group in the heavenly fields, where
probably they all speak the same
language. w. B. Leeds is in the
center, Socrates on one side. Aris-
tophanes on the other, looking
down on modern Greece. Socrates
and Aristophanes point out the old
spots, and Leeds says every little
while, eyes, and the worst of it is,
l am paying for all that. Say,
when l was selling out to Morgan
and the steel trust, had no idea
I'd die to finance that crowd"
Leeds would supply Aristoph-
anes with a good comedy and
Socrates with many good dia-
logue.
Professor Nicholson. of Chicago,
who received the Nobel prize for
the greatest work in physics, has
added one to his triumphs. 1t
is he who correctly measured the
rigidity of the earth, proving it to
be about equal to that of solid
steel. When a mere youth, after
he was graduated from Annapolis,
and started teaching mathematics
there. he measured the speed of
light, his measurement being the
worlds standard now.
He was first to measure, within
a millionth of an inch, the wave
length of a certain metallic sub
stance, thus making it forever un-
necessary to measure again the
earth's circumference, or to worry
if an earthquake should destroy
the meter of platinum that the
French keep far below ground, as
standard Of measures and money.
Now some bewildering figures
make us realize that perhaps it
doesn't matter much what happens
to the Leeds fortune. or to the
whole earth.
Professor MicheIson's latest in
tested at the Wilson OBJ
scrvatory, makes possible exact
measurement of distant suns. The
Alpha star. in Orion, is three hun
dred million miles in diameter. Con-
sequently. the bulk Of that sun is
twenty seven million times that Of
our sun. And our sun is MILL
ION times as big as this earth.
In other words, if on that gigantic
fiery star in Orion, planets as big