The Coconino sun., 1920-05-07

Tom Slattery went into Will Mar lars drug store the other day and asked for a four-ounce bottle. "How much is it?" he wanted to know.
 "Well." said Will, eff you want the empty bottle it's five cents; but if you want something put in it we won't charge anything for the bot tie"
 "Sure, that's fair enough" ob- served Tom. "Put in cork"
 Dr. F.. s. Miller tells of friend of his, another physician, living back east, who wrote him the other day, saving that never again will he use any subterfuge to beat the high cost of living. It seems that this doctor, more for the principle of thing than for any saving he might effect, had discontinued the use of printed pre- scription blanks, but used the backs of reports and other printed matter coming into his office. cutting these into smaller pieces if too large. One day he wrote a prescription for a nervous woman She read it. then turned it over, and immediately fell to the floor as if suffering from an apoplectc stroke. The doctor pick ed mp the prescription and read on the back:
 "The funeral takes place next We'd nesday at p. m.
 "Further interesting facts in con nection with the funeral of Mrs. Kan at Hongkong are that some 25.0OO people took part in the procession, which monopolized the whole of the Chinese funeral parphernalia in the colony, additional material being brought from Canton for the occasion. There were 36 bands playing Chinese music and five European. Two cof- fins were borne in the procession, and it is suggested that one of them was intended to deceive the devil, who was assumed to follow the first coffin--a flake" The real coffin was carried by 40 coolies in red livery and sailor hats. It is said that similar process sions are to be held in Shanghai and Canton. North China News.
 "Mrs. Gertrude Triplett has pur- chased the, Stork hospital in Florida street. t."-Vallejo (Cal.) News.
 That combination ought to increase business.
 Bert White says that down in the Ozark mountains, in Missouri, where he expects to spend lot of time this month and next. everybody is adept at making corn whiskey, and that they drink it so fresh that they can smell the feet of the boys who plowed the corn.
 Do you remember way back when:
 Mic Poison, Joe P. Wilson and Me Sweeney, the shoemaker, put up the iob on George A. Cotton, of Grand Canyon, then a tenderfoot, fresh from the east, but now quite as blase and thrill ll-hardened as the best of 'em' It happened down in the basement of the Weatherford hotel. They switched the lights, pulled few quick legerdemain stunts, stuck a bloody knife into Georges hand, and made him think he had killed man; even going so far as to have him arrested.
 My Dear MT. Breen:
 The Litter-airy Die-jest has this from the Oshkosh Northwestern:
 "Ouija, ouija, tell us true
 What's the weather going to do 2"
 Whats the matter with this right off the frying pan?
 Ouija, ouija, tell us true
 Will this be Bills and Mes adieu?
 Now let's flip it up and toss it over:
 Ouija, ouija, tell us true
 Will Bills jinx get McAdoo?
 Send the money by messenger.
 Sincerely,
 J. B. Gunter would like to know just how the story started that he had sold his Flagstaff garage to the McAr- thur brothers, and that they were go- ing to build a three-story garage near the court house and put him (Gunter) in charge of it.
 Though he doesn't knowho@ the story sldfttu, Ht SuSpcClS tildt HIS dSSiSt- ant, J. w. Mercer, couldn't resist the temptation of verifying the yarn as a joke on the boss.
 A. J. Sullivan says it's easier for a needle to enter a camel's eye than for a sinner to enter his store.
 Jack Lowry and Frank Surfea were having little argument the other day. Finally they got personal.
 Frank" said Jack, tits wonder you don't take a trip away from home and cheer up little and wipe some of that gloom look off your face. That face of yours has worn out two bodies."
 "Say," said Frank, Eve travelled farther around beer mug looking for the handle than you have ever been away from home."
 "For years Dr. Aldrich has been a leading citizen of Anoka and one of the prominent physicians also. She L.a Lo1. :uIo-.A,co .,,;&l, @Ia ,~1a~,,