The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1920-10-21

q spin, ter of 102 y,ars n . Bos on
home for the aged says she isn't 20
ing to think Of getting married urti'
size tx 1O5. That's the way WITH
these g;ddy young things; foreye,
forget irg tbat procrastina.,cn il the
thief Of time.
Mother told Tommy, when he cane
home from school, to stop at pie
store and get two bars Of soap ard
nickel's worth Of candy" "Wh4c do
you wan. With the ,Andy7" asked
dad. "Oh, that's 70 he won't forget.
replied mother.
4 n oil Scottish woman always mad
good word to say for every',,iy.
Ono day friend said, "Janet, l be
lieye you would find something good
to say Of the devil himself" @We-' "
remarked Janet, "he's = very inGls-
trious body"
9 q .
Andrew Rasmun, six feet three, az
rived late ut his home in Wellington,
N. j., and his wife, five feet one,
BACKED both Of his eyes for him
The story has it that he went to the
police court, but we don't believe that
part. He undoubtedly went to b-ag
Isn't she . wonder, your honor!"
They've got q new baby over II
Huck Buckleby's," relstei Old BIZ
Misgivens's neighbor. ~This makes
six children for them, as nigh Is !
can recollect." Jaw, we'll" returaec
Old Bill, who is the proud possessor
of IA olive branches, "six children IS
a toIerable fair start towards a .An1-
ly."
STUPID vas having sonle dental
work done, and was going through
some ct the most exquisite torture
which the military tnoth-pulle- could
invent. Suddenly the other stopped
III wrath. "See here, private" h
scolded, 81 thought Jou told me y,i'd
never had dentist touch YOUR teeth
Efore." "Thass right" Then Row
aces it happen I've found bit O.
metal on my drill" "Scuse me, >ir,
al l think you must have hit NY
Identification tag"
"Ti.e World never moved = fast De
fors, unused the old timc. We
have winter ice on the Fourth Of July.
spring vegetables on Christmas; we
buy our straw hats in February AMI
our felt hats in Auc".t; we ge' our
Sunday pager on Satin day night, and
our magazines month aheal of time
If we telephone man IN San Fran
cisco from New York, he hears our
voice about four hours before We
sneak; and if someone in Japan sends
US a cablegram tomorrow, We get IT
today"
A colored man was all dressed uo
He Ha'kod ~. and down Main st 'eet
with an air of Importance. A big
bouquet of flowers was attached 20
him "y. nat is the occasion :" he was
asked by white msn. "Dis am my
golden .edcin', sah," he replied
"But your wife doesn't seem interest
ed-she is working as usual" said
the white man. my present wife
amt go nothing to do with this an
niversary-Pse been married FIVE
times rep.ied the colored gentleman
Tommy Brown had not stuoiei
pelmanis,n and his brain was like a
sieve. Nren his mother told him TO
take . cup to the erncer's and get il
ii led with honey he heard what she
said, but when he 60 to the grneer S
he forgos what he hsc come for. he
grocer EsnIcd one article after another
in a good Datured attempt to ref-,sh
his men Try but all to o avail. Then
he turned to his plump wife and ssid'
Honey, can you think what it might
bc?" "Thxt's it,. thst's it." cried the
10y, excite.5ly. Honey But, lccF i
here,s he added, cycling the buxer
lady, you'd better put her on my back
and let me take her that way, for he
,,,v, ~r.s, }n's hold herg