davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-12-21
The Color of Brick.

Ingredients in clay and temperature at which
Il IL burned affect tho color OF brick. At rod
heat n salmon color Is obtained, which becomes
a deeper red as the temperature sttsins 1900
degrees. Above this purple, then brown and fl
nally black
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-12-21
BLONDE and AUBURN.

There was a new brakeman on the
Lehigh Valley road and as the train
neared South Bethlehem the conduc-
tor stuck his head in one end and
called, "Sous Beslam.' The brakeman
pushed his head in at the other end
and yelled, Same at dis end"
II n,
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-12-21
nI,EAK MEMORIES.

Down on the depot platform.
Bathed in the bleak, wintry breeze
Shy long ago of it's contents.
with nothing inside II TO freeze
Tapped of It's last amber dreg,
Bungless, peerless and friendIess
Stands an empty eight-gallon keg
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-12-21

In n continental municipal theater the artists
are engaged yearly contract renewable
from year to year. They paid full salary
throughout the year, during one months holiday
more and during perhaps two months Of re-
hpar
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-12-21
Odd Modes of Measurement

The hill people Of Assam reckon time and dis
lance by the number Of guilds of betelnuts chew
cd. According to Washington Irving, the Dutch
assembly was invariably dismissed at the last
puff Of tho third pipe OF Governor Van Twller.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-12-21
TELEPHONE JINGLE

Mary. Mary, quite contrary,
How does your switchboard GO
Cord and keys, and number please,
And little lights all In a row.
NORTH OPERATOR.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-12-21
Pastimes of the M. p.

1t may interest Americans to learn that MEM
bers OF Parliament cannot play cards or bill
lizards within the precincts Of the House Of Com
mons No provision is made for anything more
exciting than chess or checkers
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-12-21

CARNIE is n dizzy bell.hop in a
Fifteenth street hotel He was en-
crossed in reading Heard and Seen
when guest asked him to bring
ginger ale and ice. lie showed up
with ice cream and cherries.
ANOTHER HOP.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-12-21
The Inventor of the Bicycle

The first man in England to make bicycle
was James plowright who died In September
last lie copied the first "boneshakcr' brought
over from France. The inventor OF pedals was
NJ MichauX, of Paris.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-12-21
CHARLES COUNTY ITEMS.

We notice from the Charles Count,
Gazette that "Mr. Dudley Franklin,
while Harvesting a mule last week,
was kicked just south Of his corn
crib"
Also: Nose Johnson climbed on
the roof OF his house looking for II
leak and fell, landing on his back
porch
Also: "While James Tollerman was
escorting his girl home from "a
church social, last Wednesday even
ing. a savage dog attacked him ard
bit him on the public square"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-12-21
The Villages of India.

Nne-tcnths Of 1ndias 3O0,00O,0oO people live
In villages, not In towns, and except In very
minor ways, Indian village life and tho customs
OF the inhabitants have not changed for 2,cS0
years
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-12-21

Chicken Feed"-lce cream and
soda. But don't feed it to the barn
yard fowl, for il you do the hens
will quit laying and go galivanting
around with the ROSTERS.
FRED VETTER.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-12-21

Article 2, of the Good Fellows
organization. provides that mo
thoroughbred" shall offer less than 8
cents to a newsboy during Christmas
times for morning or evening papers.
I hone all will observe the rule.
JOHN n. MCCARTHY.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-12-21
A PARODY ON FANS,

Edmund "OSullivan" told "Fred
Netter" that he received BILL
from the malt and hops store. FREDDY
looked inquisitive. and so OSullivaN
explained. I'm Tellin' You" Iona
Still!' W. d. Payne overheard this
and said "Oinvu." I've Heard and
Seen" of place near "HarperS
Ferry" where they make it out OF
Maple Sugar" and Dixie Girl" corn
"a Marine" was seen approaching
with strawberry and Blackberry
Blondes, so the crowd dispersed until
Joe Conklin" and Paul White" could
be present. PADDY DEAR
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-12-21

| AND A messenger
comes.
WITH THE letter
above.
| AND WHAT can I
do?
AND so I'll say.
I'll TAKE the doll.
OF THE Greenwich
girl.
WITH IT'S Follies
mask.
AND ON Christmas
Day.
I'll co my. way.
TO A place / know.
THAT MOST of the
time.
is FILLED with
gloom.
AND I'LL leave it
there.
AND A little girl.
WHO SITS all day.
IN A strange little
chair.
WILL GIVE it life.
| AND ALL of her love.
! I THANK you.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-12-21

felt his soft breath on my cheek
And the gentle touch OF his hand
His very presence near me
Seemed breeze on tho desert sand.
He deftly sought my lips,
Ny head he did enfold,
Then he broke the silence with
Shall the filling be silver or goldc'
FLOSSIE
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-12-21
WHY THEY MARRIED.

Here are some of the answers An
editor received to inquiries from
married men as to why they mar
ried:
Because did not have the experience
I have now.
That's what I've been trying for eleven
years to find out.
I married to get even with her mother
but 7 never have.
| thought II would he cheaper than
breach Of promise suit
Because Sarah told me that nvo other
men had proposed to her
That's the same fool question my friends
ask mo.
I wanted companion OF the opposite
soN; she IL sim opposite
The old man was going 10 Rive me his
foot, so ! took his daughters hand.
Because ] thought she was one in >
thousand, now | think she's thousand
was lonely and melancholy and wanted
some one TO make II lively for me She
makes II lively for me. PEP.
JIMMY h. says he took his girl
to theater. They waited long
time to get n seat. Just as the crowd
was coming out she spied II and S
in his pocket, and wouldn't bulge
until she had read it, causing them
10 lose pood seats.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-12-21

We are still hanging on to our roll
tops. Our motto is grin and bear
H.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-12-21

It's a cinch you can not drive q
nail with a sponge no matter how
hard you soak it. r. Il. Y.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-12-21

Four slender legs the table has.
I've two stout ones, on each a stock
ing;
The table never conceals it's legs,
Aren't table manners shocking?
BOOKWORM.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-12-21

I've read H. and :. for many day.
It's sure the stun to drive gloom away
It's full Of humor, It's full of spice.
If II cost you a buck, it's worth the Prize.
LETT METALYA.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-12-21

MY DEAR Benda.
HERE l am.
DOING MY best.
TO WRITE a column.
FROM DAY to day.
AND CHOOSE for
texts.
A DIFFERENT
subject.
FOR EVERY day.
ON THE we'll worn
theory.
THAT IF l please.
SOME OF the people.
SOME OF the time.
III HOLD my job.
AND l write about
Christmas.
ON YESTERDAY.
AND SAY to myself.
WHEN TOMORROW
comes.
I'LL HAVE to write.
ABOUT SOM ETHING
else.
AND THE door-bell
rings.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-12-21
Municipal Theaters.

Then we will go out and get the rest.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-12-21

Highjacking is an easy way to gather a Ii
ing You rob a gent Of birdcage full OF none
sock him chilly with yard OF sanitary plum
ing, and then sue his estate for the war tax
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-12-21

IL we want is a little sand in II
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-12-21

We don't want Kris Kringle to put any ia
jewelry, bonds or diamonds in our stocking.
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-03-04
LOCAL TRANSPORTATION PROBLEM

The opposition of Union Labor, added to that of those engaged in water transportation and the gen eral objection public ownership and operation of anything in competition with private enterprise, preclude the possibility of securing author ization for q Shipping Board line of steamers All aska. President Furuseth of the Seamen's Union is strongly opposed government control of transpor- tation that he says the government ownership of ships means the government ownership of Added to this situation is the circumstance that the stituents of Senators and Representatives in Con Gress who also interested in Alaska transporta tion mostly shareholders in officers and ployees Of transportation lines.
 On the other hand, there a disposition the part of the Federal Shipping Board, Western members of Congress and Others to cooperate with inc Territorial Shipping Board in securing better and cheaper transportation service to Alaska through ether means
 The suggestion of aid for lines of steamers to operate from the larger to the smaller in the Territory is good It is the system that is in use everywhere Ocean lines usually have but port of call a continent. depending upon local Successful steamship lines where routes are long rarely have than three ports of call at either end. and frequently only That is the only way maintain schedules and experience shows that it counts for economy in operation and lower for the greater number of people.
 Further, that system encourages the establish ment of wholesale houses at the larger towns where large stocks of goods may be kept. thus insuring expedition in the delivery of orders the smaller towns and serving the convenience of everybody.
 The statement of Gov. Riggs, printed in The Empire Monday, is pregnant with great possibilities for the people of Alaska.
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-03-04
WHAT MIGHT HAVE BEEN

The interest that has been created in Alaska oil lands through the passage of the leasing measure, and the rush 10 the oil fields, is reminder of what might have been had then President Roosevelt withdrawn fhe oil lands from location in l9Ob! Fourteen years of prospecting and development work have been lost If they had been utilized, what might not have been the result, Long before now Alaska might well have become of the great oil producing sections Of the country. We might lave had thriving towns and large addition or prosperous people population. This is an il- lustration of the great injury that has been done to Alaskan development through the Pinchot con of conservaton-an injury that has already held back the settlement and development of Alaska for the major part of a generation. If 1t had not been for this cranks hobby Alaska would have had railroads Interior long before the Federal gov ernmen began the expenditure of more than S5O,- river system the Yukon Valley, and by this time we would have had far greater population.
 However let us hope that the dawn is here The oil lands being taken, the railroad is being built the chances good that aid will be forth coming that will encourage the renewed develop ment of gold mining and the powers in the For estry Bureau reported to be working out man establishment of pulp and paper mills in the Ter ritory. So let be thankful that may yet live to see Alaska come into her The fight justice has been long, and the victory will be worth while when it comes.
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-03-04

two of the latter to be nominated, and that is the total number Democratic filings for those of fices, including the Juneautes
 The representation in the filings in the First Division is follows
 Ketchikan-For Senator, E. Heath, Democrat, and F. J. Hunt Repubcan for Representative Nor R. Walker Democrat for Road Commissioner, Alexander Adkins Democrat, and Joseph Ulmer, Re publican
 Wrangell--For Senator, P. C. Mccormick, Repub- ican.
 Douglas Isand-For Representative, L. S. Ferris and Felix Gray Republicans; for Road Commissioner, Jack Wilson, Republican
 Thane-For Representative, Walter B. King, Re- publican
 Juneau--For Senator. l. Sowerby Democrat for Representative W. w. Casey, J. Latimer, Gray and Henry Roden, Democrats, and Herman IT. Tripp, Sidney D. Charles, Wolland, George A Getchell, George Ramstad Cash Cole and EaH L. Hunter Re publicans; for Road Commissioner James J. Connors, Democrat.
 There Senator, four Representatives and two Road Commissioners to be elected, and similar number be nominated to each office by each of the political parties
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-03-04

Luke McLuke Says
 Don't argue. An argument never jettles dispute. IL starts two or hree new ones.
 The fact that man loves her is Ill the evidence she needs that he S the smartest man in the world.
 Another Damli: Once upon a time here was a landlord who insisted on ' )apering the whole house, and d ten mt who insisted that the old paper vas good enough for anybody.
 Funny how woman can't realize Ter husbands Worth the way she 3an realize his WOrthlessness.
 Hanging a horseshoe over the door nay bring you luck if you do not for get to lock the door before you g0 70 bed
 You may have noticed that man sn't very careful of his language when he is talking to some man he lnows he can lick
 This would be a nicer world if we were as regular in leaving unsaid he things we should not have said a. we are in leaving undone the things we should have done.
 The reason why Corn Fed girl loesnt mind having to wear such big stockings is because she doesn't have Q wear an Out Size in shoes
 A thin woman can get just so thin md no thinner But there is no limi. Q how fat a fat woman can get.
 And the reason why a woman is l woman is because she can look at another woman"s hat for four sec onds and describe it for four hours
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-03-04
COMMUNITIES AND THE OFFICES

The Keehikan Times is very wrothy at Juneau oceause many people of this city filed declara- tons of candidacy for political nominations at the forthcoming primary election It says Juneauites filed for every office and proceeds Juneau for her "hoggshness."
 The Ketchikan paper misses the meaning of the primary election law The law makes question of candidacy for nominations offices matter for in diyduals and communities Any and every citizen or the First Division had the right file his her declaration of candidacy for political nomina. tion under the law, and those who acted on that right and did file acted his responsibility If any blame attaches to the act it is not a commun fly faut at all. Juneau had nothing to do with ", The frequent lack of fair distribution of offices IS one of the perils of a direct primary election law
 Keehikan is fairly represented among those who have filed for Democratic nominations with a sena- fcr. Representative and Road Commissioner There a,e 4Dpposing candidates for the Representative and Road Commissioner. four of the former and
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-03-04
Fire Bell Scares Fairbanks
Fairbanks News Miner)

Fairbanks News Miner)
 If you wish to set the whole town of Fairbanks by the ears scare the children of years growth and Tighten the women into mysteries, and the same time spoil the appetites and the bristes on the men or Our Town to stick straight all you have to do is sound the fire alarm-we all fire shy! And then some.
 Last night it was only gunnysack burning in the shed back of the U. s. Grill but the fire alarm was as effective as though it had been the N. c. store electric plant telephone office
 The damage was nil, but the scare was 100 per cent pure
 We would suggest that, for the time being the iiremen tale thelr call, get to the fire as as they can and if it isna serious enough to frighen the entire community they do not have an alarm sounded; 1T they find it danger and a threat, sig nal the aafmkeepers to turn their fright stuff loose but not until then.
 Which would help some
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-03-04
Alaska Papers in the East
Worcester, Mass, Post

IWOrceSter, Mass, POSt)
 From up in the land of and gold there have come to the office of the Evening Post copies of several different issues of two Alaskan newspa- ners, "The Alaska Daily Empire" and The Alaska Dispatch both published in Juneau. They were cent by S. R. Gilbert former Worcester man, but whose home is now in the far Northern city
 The newspapers strictly up-to-date in every way: they have the Associated Press service or at least, one has, The Empire and their makeup is attractive. Besides the regular press service news, there is much of strictly Alaskan activities inter. est to persons residing in other regions
 perusa of the advertisements indicates that foodstuffs and clothing range about the same in price they do here. The moving picture houses are running the same pictures found in houses on the screen throughout 'the States" In fact from reading the newspapers might unconsciously be- eve ones self to be in his native realm. Surely the rush to the gold fields put Alaska right the map of the world.
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-03-04
AID FROM UNEXPECTED QUARTER

The word that comes the South that the salmon packers of Southeastern Alaska are prepar- ing for short pack this year-a reduction it is ead, from one-third to one-half from the normal capacity--and that of the canneries may not open all, carries with it. among other things, a possible solution of the supply of the salmon in All askan It should at least, aid materially in the efforts make it that more salmon may ascend the salmon streams to the spawning grounds Of course, 1t will a lighter market for fish and perhaps, fewer fishermen in Alaska this than for several years last past.
 The cause for the determination of the packers to reduce the. salmon pack this year from former high marks is. of course, the lack of markets for the big pack of last year A large quantity of the 1919 pamk is still in the hands of the packers, and some of that which has been sold sold at a price lower than cannerymen regard profitable in these times of high cost of doing business
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-03-04

Complaint is made that Herbert Hoover is not telling people where he stands one question and another. Why should he? He is a candidate for President. It is safe to say that people will be informed 10 where he stands when he does become candidate for President, if he does, and that he will not advertise for a platform-or offer prize one
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-03-04
Paw Knows EverYthinq.

Willie-Paw, what is a telling sit nation?
 Paw-Thats when your mother and one of the neighbor women start gossiping, my son.
 Maw-Willie, I'll murder you if you ask that old fool any more questions.
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-03-04

have old Luke McLuke going, boys We are going to win his necktle wrist watch and union suit as sure as shooting.
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-03-04

The prospective Mrs. Carpenter is opposed to her husbands continuing in the public fighting game :" Probably wants be in all the fighting hereafter and do her fighting in private
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-03-04
Got Us Doing 1t, Too!

est. Louis Globe Democrat
 Among the ssub-debutantes ppres. ent were the MMisses Edna JJones. RBecky SSmith. JJosie JJohnson and EEmily Blocker.
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-03-04

w. E. logemann Anchorage business man was here today on his way to the States and he re- ports that the Anchorage Republicans are almost solidly against the candidacy of Charley Heron for National Commit teeman.-( (Cordova Times)
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-03-04

Politicians appeal to the people to stand by the party. What they really want the people to do ia to stand for the party Columbia Record
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-03-04
Noticel

R. F. Pulley and F. A Root are in Toledo, Ohio.
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-03-04
We'll, w ell!

Talking about names and initials, whatty va know about r. M. Altch' Of Creenyille, Miss.
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-03-04

About every six months in Seward we have a get together movement of some kind or other That ie easy but It IS the sticking together that is the rub -(Seward Gateway
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-03-04
Strange

Smiths a queer cuss." remarked Brown
 flows that?" asked Jones'
 Every time he gets into hot water he gets cold feet" replied Brown.
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-03-04

me opening ot the oil lands in Alaska for leas ing purposes, will mean that millions of dollars will he spent in the Territory for developing purposes -
 Steward Gateway
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-03-04

This country may have to go to war with Mexico yet to give Jack Dempsey chance to clear his record - Indianapolis News)
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-03-04
flaw, HaW!

Dear Luke; There was lot or indignation when we gave the Fill pinos the Water Cure in lS99. But nobody says. word when the Holy Joes gave us the Water Cure in l920.-J C. M
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-03-04
LET US DO YOUR LACE CURTAINS NEXT TIME

We give special attention to this work and use particular care in laundering dainty faces.
 Send your most valued curtains here without fear. They will come back to you fresh and whole
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-03-04
Paste This In Your Windshield

aSkC T'S TIT 'OUT WITIuSTHcTu A fellow his cares should not double By hunting for more that he'll rue; For when yor are hunting for trouble, You'll find trouble hunting for you.
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-03-04
In 1860.

Posterity, without a doubt, Will have thirst that's hard to
 slake; And you'll hear young men brag
 about
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-03-04

When two men after the same girl ii doesn,t make much difference which one she takes Nnu and then there will times when she'll wish shea taken the other one '" S"s
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-03-04
Sex Siush.

What is a Best Seller, anywayY asked the Old Fogy, as he looken up from the newspaper he was reading.
 Tt is usually a Worst Smeller, replied the Crouch.
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-03-04

Houston Texas POSt)
 The wet-dry recount in Ohio is proceeding and the wet majority has now been reduced to 284 We
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-03-04

Many a man talks for hour at banouet ta- ble without knowing that he is really speechless
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-03-04

Any crook will tell you that he wishes he hat held onto the first honest job he had
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-03-04

what Keeps some people so far behind is their eussed determination to get even with somebody
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-03-04
BITS OF BY = PLAY By Luke McLuke
 -:- Copyright by Cincinnatti Enquirer
Ohl

Oh! He is a powerful writer yea, His books will fill you with alarm; And well they ought 10, for they say He pens them with his strong write arm.
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-03-04
FLASHLIGHTS

tDetroit Free Press) Nothing is as well done as inc brageart would have you believe
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-03-04
The L,orrors or prohibition.

The Horrors or ProhibitIon.
 Dealers are now compelled to pay , war tax on automobile hearses. These vehicles are now chased as pleasure vehicles"
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-03-04
Houston Texas Post)

Wait Until They Recount Cincin-
 natl, George
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-03-04
Mercy!

Sign on store in Texarkana, Ark Joe Chatfield Will Steele
 Groceries.
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-03-04
Names S Is Names.
Luke McLuke Says

7. Barefoot, lives in Toledo, Ohio
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-03-04
Short and Long.

Short and Long. A short man you can always cheer, As you mix with the throng; Just talk to him of old-time beer, And that will make him long.
 Luke McLuke.
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-03-04

This only evens up the thing Quite nicely, we retort; For this same oldtime beer, by jing, A long time kept him short
 Newark Advocate.