Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1920-03-11
Modern Farming Operations.


To the Editor of The Sun-Sir:
Ridge Farm, being in dire need of
help recently, put a little ad. in The
Sun for a competent man. While the
answers received were, of course, but
few, they were not lacking in the spirit
of the age. The following is a sample
The reply to it is given that all the
world may know farmers are not be-
hind the times:
Ridge Farm.
Dear Sirs-Having noted your ad. in
The Sun, will come up and look over
the field if you will advise me what
train you will meet. expect $40 per
week, including board, working strict
ly an eight-hour day. | belong to a
union and can neither milk cows nor
hook up horse. Am an excellent
Judge of good dairy stock and only
work among registered herds Am a
very fine teamster-can drive only
throughbreds. Also can run a trac-
tor in good weather. All fields must
first be cleared of stone, and will run
only on absolutely level land. Will
expect the privilege of using your
automobile one day every week for re-
search work in the adjacent county,
thus making speciality of soil physics.
OF course, you will benefit BY nv in
creased knowledge. If you do not
own touring car of the seven-pas-
senger variety, it is useless to reply.
Hoping you will be able to secure
my valuable services, very respectful
| ly yours, John J..JONES"
Mr.. John J. Jones'
Dear Sir-We appreciate your kind
reply to our ad. in The Sun, but are
afraid you are not progressive enough
to be considered a candidate for a lob
on this farm. This is an up-to-date
place. Candidates for Jobs here al
ways arrive by airplane. Your offer
TO come up by railroad train shows
you are in the Rip Van Wrinkle class.
We have no use for anyone 20 years
behind the times.
AS to an eight-hour day, we long
ago discarded such old-fashioned
methods. We run on the hourless.
wireless system. There are no hours
for work at all. Everything is hour
less and wireless. An operator de-
votes a few seconds to the utterance
Of a thought. The mere opening of
his mouth starts disturbance in the
air that sets the wireless forces in mo-
ton. There are the invisible, ire
Sistiole air waves and we have results.
Under this system we do not paw by
the week or the month. We pay a
fixed rate per thought. Your valuing
your services at so absurdly low a
figure as $40 per week indicates YOU
are not skilled labor-not skillfuI
enough TO achieve thought.
AS to our COWS, they are all grad
yates from a college for the higher
education of cows and do not have tc
be MIXED. No horses are to be hook
ed up her and we are even getting
beyond the age of tractors. Airplanes
are quicker and quite as efficient.
/ 1t is extremely painful to us to
have anyone think we could be guilty
of owning anything so out of date AS
al automobile. We keep feet of lin
CUISINE planes with expert pilots and
mechanics awaiting the pleasure of
all employees OF this ultra, up-to-datc
farm. Our stenographer is away at
the moment on a little reserch iaunt
to the North Pole, researching COM
paratlye temperatures that we NAV
decide whether to make hay on the
Fourth OF July or wait till the fifth
1t is due to this fact must ask Won to
pardon this scrawl, the stenoprapber
having taken our typewriter along with
him.
Now, if you are disposed to wake
up and care to honor us with a visit
by Plane-we insist on your coming
thIs way, so as not to destroy the
morale of our force lone man)-vou
may be able to demonstrate a thought
that might lead - business.
thanking you for hoping we NAV be
able to secure your valuable services
you say they are valuable, and, of
course, you should know-yours very
truly. William Smith, owner.
Blue Ridge Summit, Pa, Feb. 81.
80 you want to marry Alice, do
you?" asked the girls father of her
young man.
Very much indeed" replied the
| youth.
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