The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1920-07-22

And p3oHe0M him IN enO 1WGeTs
He gave sllrisk and then 1nnce,
4 And did not care to Hneer.
Another guy - simple,
4 Oncs poked . muIs astern;
| II landed on his diInple
| He never viii return.
The moral now will adduce:
A fellow, - rule,
viii suffer II be tries 70 goose
A hornet or : mule.
A farmers son doesn't have to 70
to agricultural college 70 learn to SOW
Wild oats.
Speaking ON immortality, what's
the matter with the hen7 Her son
never sets.
Maybe it shouldn't make any par
ticular difference, but one may notice
that a bow-lsgged girl seldom learns
to swim.
"Is the clock running, Willie? 7" ask
ed his mother. mo, ma" replied the
boy; cts just standing still and wag
ging Its tail"
From the preparations man makes
to go two miles on fishing trip, one
might suspect that he contemplated
trip around the world.
q 9
o, don't you remember the jitney,
Ben Bolt, when . pound Of sugar
'twouH buy; a schooner Of suds or a
good cabbage smoke, or liver with on
iona to fry!
A boy fell from tree into 4 bass
horn while = Philadelphia band was
giving . concert In Wilmington on
Wednesday. He perhaps wanted to
find out where the notes came from
A blacksmith makes IS worth of
iron into horseshoes and gets SO for
them. A cutler makes the same iron
into knives and gets $500. A machin-
lat makes the Same iron into needles
md gets $500. A matchmaker takes
i and makes II into n,ainsprings AID
gets $500 600: or into hafrsprings and
yets 2 million dollars. sixty times the
value Of the same weight in gold.
Aunt Liza's former mistress was
talking to her one morning. when sud-
ienly she discovafcd little pickan-
my standing SHY behind his mothers
,kirts. as this your little boy, Aunt
4iza!" she asked. Eyes, miss, OATS
Goodness, what q
'unny name, auntie, for q child! How
n the world did you happen to call
i'm that7 "Ah simply calls him dat
,ecuz All has sech hahd wuk gcttin'
lin filled"
Two Irishmen came to this country.
They heard that money was SO plenti-
'ul here that it grew in the streets.
When the vessel landed n New York
hey started to walk up town. They
lad not gone more than block be-
ore they saw five dollar gold piece
ying on the sidewalk. Here's one,v
aid one Of the Irishmen. cav, come
n and let it alone, said the other.
let's go up town where they're
Kicker"
A wealthy Hebrew died. leaving his
to his three sons, subject to
he condition that each put hundred
ollars in his coffin, as he did not
,ish to cross over without money. At
ar the funeral the brothers compar-
notes. II put in hundredt tollars
/ golt," said Isaac ~ put in a humid
sdt tollars in greenpacks," said Jacob
ouis was silent. "vot didt you put
?" demanded the brotl,ers in chorus.
/" confessed Louie, put in check
r three hundredt tollars and took out
n change"
The village politicians were gather
1 in the postoffice discussing the
ossibilites for the coming local cam
,ign. There was lamontable lack
congressional timber. None Of the
indicates could meet the demands of
Q town solons. Finally Lew Parker
ID brilliant idea. Splitting author
atively in the general direction of
e cuspidor he remarked: Boys, I'll
Il you the name Of q good man.
ghty good man. a man we could win
tn. It's Old Cap Ingersoll" And
IN he added regretfully, but darn
n, he's dead"
He had besn dining well, but not
} wisely, and as he was staggering
= friend met him and sug-