Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1920-10-24

wasn't strong"
He drew his hand across his sunken
eyes. Perhaps, | ought to have left
her. Perhaps. / ought to have died.
It might have been better for her.
She wouldn't have been worried in
Paris. She wouldn't have been close
to disgrace. But she needed help:
And l could help her. And l did. l
helped. I was a help-then.
she had to go to Paris. She had
to go there to study so she could be
great; not great like the little grim
ming, dancing things that grow on
Broadway, but great like Bernhard
and Rejane and Duse. Paris would
make her greater than even them, be-
cause she was greater to begin with.
So she went to Paris and studied and
worked and I went along to help her.
7 Never any boulevards or restau-
rants or high life for her or for me.
She worked like she did in New York
and I got job with some automobile
people and we saw each other only at
lunch, or maybe at dinner now and
then and got enough to keep US both
going for a while. but l didn't know
French very well and the automobile
wasn't good enough to stand up
against the French cars and, finally,
l lost out, and there we were broke
and her with her greatness only half
won and only me to help her. 1t was
hard. 1t was bitter hard. She
wouldn't complain and she tried not
to cry. But her heart was breaking
and I'd taught her to rely on me. 1t
was my fault.
900 when we had tried everything
~ else and everything else had
failed I got myself in with an Eng
no
ing together and went back to the old
game. same as l had played in New
York. She didn't like to have me do
it, She said she would go back home
and try to be content being ordinary.
as though she ever could be ordinary.
And she said she wouldn't let me do
wrong for her and wouldn't let me
risk myself. But when I'd shown her
there was no other way out and told
her that the good she could do when
she was great and rich would more
than pay for any damage l would
cause anybody-thats what caught
her, you see-why she trusted me just
as she had always trusted me since I
first began to help her l suppose
ought not to have deceived her. but
I've paid for the deceiving. I've paid
II went to work with the mob and
we pulled a trick or two. But the
Paris dicks were smart. They got us
quick and they got me hardest of all.
And they knew I was Eddie FELTON,.
And they sent me-" he shuddered
and jerked finger toward the east
-"they sent me there.
They sent me to Cayenne" he went
on, land l lived; lived for all the heat
and the sickness and the food and the
work that is meant to kill you And
l took to the jungle and | lived.
There was a man with me: a Paris
Apache; a strong man that could kill
with his hands, and he died. But
lived. l swan the Marowjine where
it runs like a mill race and where the
sawfish come for you like sharks. |
had the fever and i staggered into "A
Marion town sick and they didn't Kill
me and the fever didn't kill me either.
/ ate poison roots in Surinam and l
fair stepped on coral snakes and l
killed a parrot with a stone for food
and l came through the mangrove
swamps. And l lived Months of that
1 went through and lived. And I'm
here-Eddie FELTON, that was. d scum
of Walla baby that is-and | live. And
I'm going to live
His eyes glistened and his strange
voice seemed to rattle in his throat
DO you know why l lived lived when
other things died all around me be-
cause it was better to die? She kept
me living. She wouldn't let me die
Somewhere she Is waiting for me
Perhaps she needs me to help her
more. l don't know. But l saw her
face before me all the time in Cay
enne and it swan just in front of
me through all that jungle. And l
heard her and felt her; just as l heard
her and felt her when she said good
bye to me in Paris-when they took
me to send me to Cayenne. Good
bye she said with the tears in her
wonderful eyes: Goodbye. l shall
wait for you and work for you. And
you will come back to me. Through
everything you will come back to me-
And I've come back. I'm close to her