The Washington herald., 1920-05-15
coNrINUED FROM PAGE ONE.

cONrISUED FROM PAGE ONE.
broker's-light-oak desks. two
'Dhones. OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES
ed chairs ard eouches. oil paint
lngs in gilt frames a foot deep.
and ticker hitting on the news
IN one corner.
Hello. hellol' says this funny
farmer. 1s that the Regent The
ater Yes, this Is Plunkett. of
Woodbine Center. Reserve four
orchestra seats for Friday even
iag-my usual ones. Yes; Friday
-good-by.'
I run over to New York every
two weeks to see a show, says the
farmer. hanging up the receiver.
I catch the 1s-hour flyer at In
dianapolis, spend ten hours In the
heyday of night on the Yappian
Way. and get home in time to see
the chickens go to roost forty-eight
hours later. Oh. the pristine Hub
bard sQuasherino of the cave
dwelling period Is getting geared
up some for the annual meeting
Of the observation-disclosures
Association. don't you think. Mr..
Bunkr
"I seem to perceive says !, "a
Kind of hiatus in the agrarian
traditions in which heretofore,
have reposed confidence
"'Sure, Bum says he. The yell
low primrose on the rivers brim
is getting to look to US Reuos
like a holiday edition de luxe of
the Language of Flowers with
deckle edges and frontispiece.
lust then the telephone calls
him again.
".Hello, kellow says he. oh.
that's Perkins, at Milldale. 1 told
you $500 was too much for that
horse. Have you got him there?
Good. Let me see him Get away
from the transmitter. Now make
him trot in a circle Faster. Yes,
/ can hear him. Keep on-faster
vet. That'l do. Now lead
him up to the phone. Closer.
Get his nose nearer. There. Now
wait, No; / don't want that
horse. What? No; not at any
price. He interferes. and he's
windbroken. Good-by.'
Now, Burk,' says the farmer,
do YOU begin to realize that agri-
culture has had a hair cut? You
belong in a bygone era Why
Tom Lawson himself knows bet
ter than to try to catch an up-to-
date agriculturist mapping. It's
Saturday, the Fourteenth, on the
farm, you bet Now, look here
and see how We keep up with the
days doings.'
'He shows me a machine on
table with two things for your
ears like the penny-in-the-slot
affairs. I puts it on and listens.
A female voice starts up reading
headlines of murders, accidents
and other political casualties.
What you hear says the
farmer. is a synopsis of today's
news in the New York, Chicago,
st. Louis and San Francisco pa
pers. 1T is wired in to our Rural
News Bureau and served hot to
subscribers. On this table you
see the principal dailies and week
lies of the country. Also a spe-
cial service of advance sheets OF
the monthly magazines
Il picks up one sheet and sees
that it's headed: Special Advance
Proofs. In July, 1909, the Century
will say'-and so forth.
Then he passes the Henry
Clays and sets out a bottle OF
+ green chartreuse. and goes over
and looks at the ticker tape.
Consolidated Gas up two
points says he. oh, very we'll
Ever monkey with copper"
/ asks.
Stand back" says he, raising
his hand. 'Or I'll call the dog. 1
told you not to waste your time.
After a while he says: Bunk.
IL you don't mind my telling you.
your company begins to cloy
slightly. I've got to write an ar
ticle on the Chimera of Commuu-
ism for a magazine. and attend
a meeting of the Race Track As
sociation this afternoon. OF
course you understand by now