The Washington times., 1920-06-12
LONG W|NDED
ORATORS BORE
While Delegates "Stewed' In
Coliseum They Waved Flag
and Delivered "0Id Stuff."
By WILLIAM @. SHEPHERD.
International News Service.

By WILLIAM q. SHEPHERD.
International News Service.
CHICAGO, June I2.-It took four
women and twenty-nine men to make
enough speeches TO get our nominees
all entered la the nomination race.
The candidates are all duly entered
and some OF them are already finished
perhaps all OF them will be by the
time this is read, with the exception
of the lucky one-but II the folks we
left back home think that getting
this race started was a simple thing
they're wrong. When we all get
home don't meet us on the street and
ask US whether we had a good time.
FireIess Cooker.
In the nrst place It was all done
Inside a fireless cooker called the
Coliseum. The good Lord turned on
the heat after we got into the big
round-topped box and then went away
and left us there TO stew in our own
juices. Last night we were done 10 =
rich. brown turn.
Here's the way II went: see for
yourself whether it's any fun. 3.
At just exactly five minutes past
ten yesterday morning, when the sec
Arizona said II would yield to Kan
cas-. Henry Allen got on the platform
~ nominate Wood and the cooking
had begun. From then on, for seven
solid hours, minus ten minutes. we
sat in our seats or milled around the
place, yelling, or watching others
yell and mill.
All Talked Too Much
The speechesl We had talks about
every part OF the United States.
Everybody talked too long! Just
to make IL plain, I write II again:
Everybody talked too long! Eevery-
body knew that everybody was talk
ing too long, even the takers them
selves. But we couldn't help 1t; even
the speakers couldn't help 1t. There
were certain things that had to be
said because they are said at every
convention.
They have to be gone through with.
Speakers have to say them and lis
teners have to hear them None
OF us liked II, but We had come to
Chicago to do the tob-and no one
can say we haven't done it. And all
the thanks we'll get will be to be
asked whether we had a good time.
The name of Roosevelt carried
most OF the load. Seven out Of the
thirteen candidates were likened to
Roosevelt. Nine times Washington,
Lincoln and Roosevelt were linked.
Every last speaker with the excep-
tion of the women, told about the
great war and how the United States
won IT We had to hear why we en-
tered the war. There wasn't any
news in all this. The speeches were
singularly lacking in novelty.
Only One Good Laugh ;
Only once. during the thirty-two
speeches. was there laugh. That
was when Frank B. Willis. Of Ohio,
excitedly called the delegates boys"
and then. remembering that we were
in a new day. added, "and girls"
That was great! We, in the fireless
cooker, had forgotten that there was
such a thing as laugh--and we laugh
ed to beat the band.
"The coast OF Maine" rocked ribbed
hills" "the golden strands of the
west" all the States that yield to no
other State in loyalty" ''the white
and the red and the blue of the old
banner" 1.-The empire State" "diadems
of stars on the brow of Columbia
all these things. old stock in trade.
tattered Christmas tree decorations
and duly used.
None of us liked pulling out the
old stuff, we're all tired OF 1t: the
speakers didn't like it, because most
OF them talked loud but very DULY
and the hearers didn't like it, because
they didn't applaud very much. Next
time, IL a lot OF us have our way,
wen let somebody else back home
go to the convention and fuss around
with these things. You can't expect
a man to do a job like this more than
once or twice in his life-it isn't
like the people of the United States
to shift IL on a few.
smoot Ends Talking
don't know how many words we
had TO talk or listen to and it's hard
to figure how much noise we had to
make to show how much we thought
OF our own special candidates. A lot
of US who yelled for one candidate
will be yelling for another one when
you read this.
What's worse than all is that we'd
probably be voting and balloting and
talking and counting ourselves to
death if Reed Smoot handn't headed
us off. After we had been in the
fireless cooker ten solid hours we
tried to adjourn ourselves, but we
couldn't agree. 1t was lucky that the
bosses wanted to have an overnight
conference for trading.
Big Fellows Working.
II was a mighty restful moment
when Reed Smoot came to the front
of the platform, not as an official
of the convention, but just an Or
dinary delegate and move that we
adjourn. Only a fe wminutes before
we had been unable to adjourn our
selves, but when we saw that Reed
Smoot and some of the big fellows
u,era willing In belp ua adj diourn ua