davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-03-04
Ripping Rhymes
BY WALT 8
The Fin.

Last year I had the we'll known
flu. and nov I have the flu once
more; I lie In bed and say. "Ker-
choo." and other words I have in
store. My dome of thought is full
of ache, and pain through all my
system wends, and busy druggists
strive to make the pills the saw
bones recommend. Twas war
that brought this punk disease.
that threatens now my useful life;
and Wilhelm with his war lord
wheeze, was at the bottom OF the.
strife. / cannot think of any i'll
in all this sorry world so wide.
that can't be charged to old Elk
Bill-and now they say he won't
be tried. All. woe Is me! This
tin horn sport won't reap the pun
ishment that's due: he'll not ap-
pear In any court, for having ush-
cred In the flu. II 1 should spring
some punk disease that made your
pills OF no avail, how long before
the cops would seize my frame and
put the same IN Jail? This lack of
Justice makes me blue. my an
guished breast with wrath 1t fills,
and 80 / cry, 'Kerswooshl Ker-
| choo." and take another mess OF
pills
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-03-04
THE BRIDGE APPROACH FIRST.

Prospects Of early action on the
part OF the state to improve road con
ditions at tho south approach to the
Amboy bridge are pleasing to the
thousands of autoists who use that
highway in going to and from the
coast resorts as well as to the hum
dreds Of business men who send theiI
trucks and delivery wagons across
the bridge.
The trip from tho bridge southwark
through South Amboy has been g
standing disgrace. For several years
the EVENING NEWS has urged some
relief It the "hoie-in-the-wall." but
local feeling has made Il impossible
to make any progress. Now those
who refused to accept the proposition
TO build O bridge and close the hole
find that the route through Mechanics
vile has been abandoned, as far as
q state highway Is concerned, the
state having adopted the so-called
Pennsylvania right of way as the
Official route from the bridge into
South Amboy.
but to the travelling public Il makes
little difference what route is taken
~ long as 1t IL improved. AS the
state Highway Commission has the
route through South Amboy at the top
OF its list for attention this spring we
may confidently look for results. II
can't begin any too soon.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-03-04
Coming EuentS
TONIGHT

TONIGHT
Eastern Star card party al 8
o'clock in the Elks building.
Board of Education meeting in the
high school.
TOMORROW
Business meeting and card party of
the Ladies Auxiliary OF the Rar-
itan Yacht Club.
SATURDAY,
Young Judaean Council. Purim
dance in Y. NJ. II. A. hall.
MONDAY, March s
Day Nursery meeting.
Martha Washington Club meeting
In the Community House.
Presbyterian Foreign Missionary
Society meets in chapel.
TUESDAY. March 3
Y. NJ. c. A. Auxiliary supper in
association building from $3.50
until s o'clock.
Daughters OF Isabella In X. OF G.
rooms.
Eastern Star meeting In the Erks
building,
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-03-04
A Questionable Precedent

IIetICh NplGbto SI0OIbOt
There has been considerable adj
verse comment in New England and
Middle Atlantic states upon the &C.
ton of tho railroad administration In
fixing rates with a view to the diver
sion of interior railroad traffic to Gulf
and South Atlantic ports. This traffic
has heretofore gone chiefly to New
York and other northern ocean ship
ping points. The indicated purpose
of the railroad administration in es-
tablishing rates that would encourage
shipments to southern ports was to
relieve congestion at New York and
other northern terminals. During the
wal that congestion became extreme
ly serious. The docks, warehouses
and railroad yards were so crowded
with freight that there was great de-
lay In emptying ars in securing space
for handling freight. and in loading
ships. The fact was that the war
emergency sem such q rush of
freight to New York that the facili-
ties at hand could not accommodate
It.
Little fault can be found with q
desire to build up adequate shipping
| facilities at ports which have been
heretofore of little consequence In
ocean shipping. It Is a mistake fol
the nation to become dependent upon
the facilities Of any n port. The
war emergency demonstrated that
fact, Just as the war emergency DEM
onstrated our folly IN allowing our
selves to become dependent upon
Germany for our dyestuffs and chem
icals.
But although 1t Is desirable that
there shall be established and main
tanned adequate facilities at q num-
Der of ports TO" the handling Of for
eign commerce, 1t may reasonably be
doubted whether In the end good VIII
result from establishment Of the pre-
cedent of permitting any government
bureau or commission to fix arbitrary
freight rates for the purpose of dt'
verting freight from one port to an
other.
The point is that 1t is highly un.
desirable that property interests and
business relations should rest under
the uncertainty Of the changing Ideas
of some public administrator con-
corning what Is best for the trans
portation interests Of the country.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-03-04
Fire Alarm Boxes

25--Smith Street and Central r. r.
26-Market and FIRST Streets.
Avenue and Paterson st
28-High and Lewis Streets.
S5-Smith and High Streets.
S6-New Brunswick W n New 81
S7-Smitl1 and State Streets,
42-AtlaItic Terra Gotta Works.
43-Bucklngham Ave. and Hartford sc
f5-Commerce and Front Streets.
estate and Washington Streets.
S4-State St: and Buckingham Ava
E5-Parker st and Pulaski Ave.
k6-TIall Ave and Charles St.
b7-State aid Wayne Streets
bS-Near United Lead Works.
E9-Maurer.
62-Washington and First Streets.
eS-New Brunsw!ck Ave. and Elm st.
64-Smith Street and Watson Ave.
65-Commerce and state Streets.
72-Front and Smith Streets.
13--water and Gordon Streets.
74-Kearny Ave- and Gordon Street.
B1-Brace and Hanson Avenues.
e2-Smith and Herbert Streets.
es-Amboy Ave. and Washington st.
e4-Lehigh Ave. and Stanford Street
Smear City Hospital
s7-Amboy and Hail Avenues.
S8-Cleveland and Brace Avenues.
e2-Amboy ave. ard Inslee street,
e3-Lawrence and Francis Streets.
bA-Navills and tombstone Street2
ss-Raritan Copper Works.
f4-Aarkef and Sheridan Street,
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-03-04
GARs
NO ROOM FOR TURKEY.

If Turkey Is not driven out o.
of the war will not have been eliminat-
ed. The sick man of Europe as the Sui
tan has often been called, has been the
cause of more jealousy and strife than
any other factor In Europe. He has
been a veritable hrebrand. Going deep
enough into the cause of the war just
closed it will be found that the I'M
speakabIe Turk Is pretty close to the
source of all the trouble.
Now, when the greatest war In all
history has been fought. costing
millions of lives and billions In treas
ure, and when the Turk has been on
the losing side and Is completely at
the mercy Of the nations that have
realized his menace for many years,
he Is to squirm through, 1t seems. with
only a nominal loss-and he Is to
be allowed to retain his capital at
Constantlnople, the most strategic
CITY In the Eastern 11eHllSpAoAo
No wonder the people of England
protested when Premier Lloyd George
announced his policy in this respect.
Indignation meetings were held every
where and In spite of the effect that
the driving Of the Mohammedan out
OF his holy city would have on the
vast population of thai faith in India,
the great mass OF British people re-
fuse to accept Lloyd Georges de-
cision as final.
And here IL the United States. az
well as In every other Christian land.
the demand is growing for h GUST
ing OF the Turk from Europe. The
general sentiment Is that the OBJ
should be done right as long as 1t had
to be done and that the fruits of
victory will be but half secured If
Turkey Ia left to keep Europe in O.
Torment.
The Musseiman has caused trouble
sver since he crossed over from Asia
into Europe many centuries ago. He
all but succeeded in sweeping across
Europe 1t IL time. 1t was not until
1T17 that an Austrian army under
Prince Eugene OF Savoy, which was
sent by the Austrian emperor to save
Venice from Moslem power, adj
ministered such a decisive defeat to
the Turkish army that no further at
tempts were made to spread Moham-
mechanism in Europe. But 1t took
many wars after that to drive the
Turk farther and farther back in the
direction from whence he came until
only a little strip of land along the
waters OF the Dardanelles vas left to
him. That strip would have been
taken way from him were 1t not for
she jealousy among European powers.
II was though. however. that once
the Great Powers started to clean
I'D Europe there would be no peace
until the unspeakabls Turk had been
deprived Of his last foothold on that
continent. Now, to think OF a per-
nanent peace being again established
with the Turk still In possession OF
ConstantinopIe almost makes It APP
pear as IL the war was fought in
vain.
Realizing the apparent determine
ton of the Turk sven yet to exter-
inmate all Christians within the Turk
fish empire. It behooves civilization to
arise in its might and insist that
Turkey must quit Europe for good.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-03-04
Luke McLnke Says

The worst thing a farmer can
about a man Is that the mar never
gets up until six in the morning.
The trouble with the man who can
wear his wife's shoes is that he gets
so vain that he acts like his head was
as small as his feet.
The only difference Prohibition
makes is hat while you get more
sleep, o do not have much fun.
Even If a woman had OF closets In
her homo, that wouldn't keep her hus-
band from having to hang his clothes
In the cellar or the attic.
1t takes more courage to admit that
you are wrong than 1t does to insist
that you are right.
Is a queer world in which the
man who profits by his mistakes gets
more credit than the man who never
makes any.
And a man isn't likely to feel out
OF sight when he finds that he Is head
over ears in debt.
You can learn from Experience.
But you will have fewer wrinkles and
gray hairs IL you will learn from OBJ
~servation.
When two or three fat women hap
pen to get parked together, each tries
to out-prevarfcate the other as to the
amount of weight she Is losing.
What has become of the small town
~hypocrite who used to come to a big
city bar to get drunk?
Another thing we have noticed is
that he danes who pose as New
Women are all Ancient les
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-03-04
The Land of the Free

Now that a laborer has been arrested
for drinking q bottle of beer with
the lunch he was eating at the dinner
hour. we begin to get an inkling or
what a joke prohibition is. Beer has
been the poor mans beverage for a
thousand ears The Norsemen con-
quered new worlds on beer and cheese.
The Tar-tars brewed 1t 500 years b.
c. The Britons who settled this coun-
try were raised on beer. And for 900
years beer has been part of our Ameri-
can life. And now, because q few
fanatics control Congress, the use Of
beer is not only forbidden, but Is
made a felony. No matter how de-
CEN and l~aw-abiding a citizen may
be, If he Is found taking a drink Of
beer he Is herded with the thug. the
degenerate and the murderer, And he
Is taxed heavily that 10000 spies may
spend millions Of dollars prying into
his affairs for fear that he might take
a glass of beer. 1t seems a joke, but
the Holy Joes who own Congress right
now know that the Great American
Jelly Fish will stand for anything,
And you are one of the Jelly Fish.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-03-04

Taking Luke's advice hat the less
you know about a subject the quicker
you can sell what you write about It,
L. II. P. grlnds out a pome on bowl
Ing:
The bowler e m the ball speeding
Down the alley swift as a rocket;
With the crack OF the naples the 8
ball fell
Into the left hand corner pocket
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-03-04
Daily Horoscope

Inc stars incline but do not compel,
Friday, March S, 1920.
Newspaper Syndicate.)
Astrologers read this al an I'M.
important day. Mars, Neptune and
Jupiter are all in slightly adverse
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-03-04

The former kaiser has given a hos
pital to a Dutch town. If the man
can't keep 'em full he will give 'em
away.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-03-04

Joe Whelan, the Corn Beef Philoso-
pher. says: Whats the use Of get
ting mad2 Nobody gives a d-n!"
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-03-04
The Wise Fool

BE sure you are right, then go
ahead" quoted the Sage.
HUH" commented the Fool. Il
know a lot of argumentative cusses
who are always sure they are right'
but they never get ahead"
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-03-04

my gas bills very big" said Blaws
1T causes me some heat;
But l guess 1t run up because
IT q so many feet"
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-03-04

(London (England) Blighty.)
It is suggested that Mr.. "Pussyfoot'
Johnson should enliven his meetings
by introducing a musical program.
Tho following songs are submitted as
appropriate for solo or concerted
items:
Drink to me only with thine eyes,"
Shall we gather at the river
She said she would buy me q
bunch Of blue ribbons
THE Better Land"
I'm the softest o. the family"
Absence makes the heart grow
fonder."
Take. o take those lips away.n
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-03-04
Bits of By-PLay

By LUKE MeLUKE
Copyright, 1920, the Cincinnati In
Quirer)
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-03-04
Obi

"Are you married or unmarrled2'
asked the Prosecutor of the Lady on
the witness stand.
Three times" replied the Lady.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-03-04

Wilson'S health has apparently i'm
proved since Lansing was removed.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-03-04
GOSH

Where tina HEX do all the Armenians
come from? Every time we pick up
a paper we see where 10000 more
Armenians have been massacred.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-03-04
l Her Hearth

Her stocking feet have holes, that's
true,
But she dom care a boot;
Girls give consideration to
The At and not the foot.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-03-04
Brace Up!

When hard luck comes around to taunt
Don't quit and lose your nerves;
Though you may not get what you
want
You'll yat what up1f da9erva
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-03-04

The proposed international farm
conference may decide In favor of
blowing and less comforting,
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-03-04
NOticet

John Koneyak, of Hazelton, Penn.
better have his name changed before
Wayne Wheeler sees it.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-03-04

If Europe tries to settle questions
without America she may have to
settle the next war without U. S. A.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-03-04

You introduced that man as Hi
Humdinger,' said Smith. THAT must
be a pen NAME, isn't it?"
Yes" replied Brown. "He is a hog
raiser"
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-03-04

Though all things come to those who
walt"
Observed old Uncle Mater;
at is not written down by fate
That you should be a waiter"
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-03-04

1t is easy to understand Sweden's
neutrality after you read her govern
ments plea for Joining the league;
Sweden risks less being inside the
league than outside"
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-03-04
Cem,nupicNttana

Aemhe Of The Associated Press
Tho Associated Press is exclusively
entitled to the use for publication OF an
news dispatches credited to II or not
otherwise credited in this paper ana
also tho local news published herein.
The EVENING NEWS Is also a mem-
Der CT the American Newspaper Publish
ers' Association and the Audit Bureau
OF Circulation.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-03-04
highway system.


It Is true. though that II they were
not directly deceived, they were at
least kept In ignorance of the extent
of the total estimated cost for the
completion of the system, If the Gov
ernor is correct In the statement of
the situation he says he discovered.
They knew, of course, that war con-
ditions had largely raised all Items
| entering into the cost of road work,
but they did not know. as Governor
Edwards proclaimed in his message,
that Immediately after the passage
of the Edge act in 1917. the Highway
Department made q preliminary sur
vey of the system and found that Its
construction would cost more than
double the original estimate that Is,
s38,s67s0o instead of $4,000, 900.
All this, however. Is beside tho
mark SO far the duty of the present
Legislature is concerned. That duty
is to check extravagance-a duty that
can be performed without Interior
ence with a proper economic and for
ward-Iooking program.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-03-04
HO, Humt


Washington will change the name or
Catawba, N. c., to Grape Juice, N. G.
"Oom-paw, Oom-paw, Bum, Bum,
Bum!o
columbus Dispatch.)
WANTED rooms; central, with Dor
genial family unsteady inclined:
with no objection to trombone or a
little practice on bass drum. Ad-
dress Box r $50. care Dispatch.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-03-04

You'll get what you deserve
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-03-04

W $3.50
the World War, to say nothing about
81, 100000 In bonds for the translate
ship canal. both of which measures
passed tho Assembly yesterday.
Tho final passage of the bonding
bills would mean q tremendous in
crease in the public burden, but that
is not all of st. The proposed raising
of the debt limit of counties would
open the way for heavier drafts on the
taxpayers Of every county in the state.
while the people Of the large cities
would be additionally overburdened by
the approval of the program of the
police and fremen for pensions. Mr..
Pierson estimates that II this PEN
sion bill should become q law lover
sec. 900, 900 of liabilities will be placed
upon the cities having policemen's
and fremen's pensions for the present
pension rolls and the men now In
service"
1t does not take an expert ~fnancier
to see the madness of such a financial
program. Governor Edwards charges
that some of the difficulties the state
is now facing are due to failures In
the past to provide adequate amounts
for highway construction and for the
care of the public institutions and
agencies of the state. and he is I'M
doubtedly right about 1t. 1t may be
declared that there is partizan bias
in his allegations that the people
were deceived as TO the cost of the
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1920-04-16
First pub. Mar. 26, last Apr. 1873 wks.l
Notice for Administration and
Notice to Creditors

State of Wisconsin, County Court. Villas Coun-
ty-In Probate.
In re estate of Martin Hansen. deceased
Notice is hereby given, that at the special
term of said court to be held on the third
Tuesday of April, A. D., 1920 at the Court
Rooms in the Village of Eagle River, County
of Villas. and State of Wisconsin, there will be
heard and considered, the application of G. A.
Scharsch for the appointment of an admins
TRAITOR of the estate of Martin Hansen late OF
the Town Of Phelps in said county, deceased;
Notice is hereby further given, that at the
special term Of said court to be held at said
Court Room, on the last Tuesday of June, A.
D., 1920 there will be heard, considered and
adjusted, all claims against said Martin Han
sen, deceased:
And notice is hereby further given, that al
such claims for examination and allowance
must be presented to said County Court al
the Court Room in the Village of Eagle River
in said county and state, on the last Tuesday
of July, 1920 or be barred.
Dated Marches. 1920.
By the Court =
FRANK w CARTER. Judge
ALEX HIGGINs Attorney.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1920-04-16
State Of Wisconsin, County of Villas.

State of Wisconsin, County of Villas,
SIS.
Before me, Notary Public in and
for the State and County aforesaid,
personally appeared Verne Richards,
who, having been duly sworn ac-
cording to law, deposes and says that
he is the owner of the Eagle River
Review and that the following is, to
the best of his knowledge and be-
lief true statement of the owner
ship, management, ETC., of the afore-
said publication for the date shown
in the above caption, required by the
Act of August "a, 1912, embodied in
Section 443, Postal Laws and Regula-
tions.
|. The name and address of the
owner, publisher, editor, managing
editor and business manager is:
Verne Richards, Eagle River, Wis.
2. That the known bondholders,
mortgages, and other security hold
ers owning or holding per cent or
more of total amount of bonds, mort
cages or other securities are:
Alex Higgins, Eagle River, Wis.
VERNE RICHARDS.
Sworn and subscribed to before me
this 18th day of April, 1920.
ALEX HIGGINs.
My commission expires Jan. 1921.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1920-04-16
Notice to Contractors

Notice is hereby given that sealed
proposals will be received by the un-
dersigned County Road and Bridge
Committee, at the Office of the County
Highway Commissioner at Eagle
River, Wisconsin, until 2 o'clock in
the afternoon of the third day Of
May, 1920, for the clearing, grubbing,
grading, and draining of the VIM
chester Vinegar road from Station
376 to Station 500. App. 302 (l919.)
Plans and specifications on file at
the County Highway Commissioners
office at Eagle River and at the office
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1920-04-16

of the Wisconsin Highway Commission
at Rhinelander.
Clearing AL acres
Grabbing. 9.4 acres
Excavation 1885 GU. yds.
Corrugated culverts to be furnished
by the county and installed by the
contractor.
Each proposal must be accompanied
by cash, a certified check, a Liberty
Bond, or a bidders bond for the sum
equal to at least per cent of the
bid, as a guarantee that the success
full bidder will enter into contract
with the county of Villas, and will
give n good and sufficient bond in a
penal sum equal TO the amount OF the
contract for the faithful performance
of the work. Said guarantee shall be
made payable to the treasurer of
Villas county. Forms are all on file
at the Offices noted above. Bidders
must state prices in writing and in
figures.
All bids will be publicly opened by
the authorized representative Of
Villas county. The committee reserves
the right to reject any or all proposals
and to accept any bid which may be
most advantageous to Villas county.
By order of the County Road and
Bridge Committee of Villas county.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1920-04-16

Statement of Ownership, Manage
ment, ETC., Required by the Act Of
Congress, of August "a, 1912.
OF the Eagle River Review pub
lished weekly at Eagle River, Wis,
for April l, 1920.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1920-04-16

chine builders have been growing and developing
ever since Other machines have been invented and
developed by the same manufacturers, and every
new machine and implement has had built intoit the
years of manufacturing experience and farm knowl-
edge accumulated by Mccormick, Deering, Parlin
and their successors. Now all of these machines
and implements have been merged into one line
the international Harvester The reputation of every
machine and implement in this line is the same.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1920-04-16
First pub. April 2, last April Is, 8wks,

First pub April 2, last April l6,-3wks,
Notice.
To the owner or Owners Of Land Within
and Adjoining Section Is, of Township 40
North of Range 10 East, Villas County Wis
consin.
Take Notice that in accordance wi tn the
provisions of Sections 825-829p will on the
10th day Of April, 1920, at 10 O'Clock in the
forenoon, commence to make survey of said
Section 16, Township 49, North of Range 10
East, Villas County, Wisconsin, beginning at
the Northeast corner of said Section 16-4O-10,
Dated at Eagle River, Wis, Mar, 80, 1920
-. WALSH,
County Surveyor.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1920-04-16
We Sell the international Line

on all of these machines through concern-s You
don't have to go the bother and inconvenience of trying
to get repairs and service from half dozen or more
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because we are going carry big stock of repairs on
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for you in hurry by phone call to the international
Harvester branch house.
Tack this advertisement up in your machine shed so that
whenever you need repairs for any of your International
machines you will know where to go. Also, you will know
where to go when you in the market for machines or
implements of real quality and the highest operating efficiency