Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-04-05

No. brother, Luke has not been
drunk. And he didn't go to Havana. "
Didn't get even as far as Montreal. JAG
me column mas been missing for four kee'
days, but Il was not Luke's fault. We see
were proud of the fact that for the Mas
Iast . months We wrote a column whi
levery day without missing a day, andI T
we hope that we won't miss writing a 1.-The
column a day from now on. sho,
- land
Advice. tavs
Old Winters gone, but do not scoff, unh
Though warm Spring brings her natl
radiant smile; a 81
Don't think it's time to take 'em off, coai
! Just keep 'em on a little while. too
| - epa
Ho. Humi cou
And what has become of the o. 1. out
man who used to go out and get witt
drunk before he went TO a dentist to hea
nave a tooth pulled? Head
Fooey! Ina
The Old-Timer had been mixed up the
In an accident and was one
taken to the hospital in pretty bad ava
lshapc. When re recovered conscious still
mess, he family murmured to the as
nurse that he wanted a drink. The fielC
nurse brought him a glass of water ers
and went to put it to his lips. tool
What is that stuff ?" asked the Old and
Timer. 1.-THE
Water" replied tho Nurse. fam
Feed it to me in a teaspoon until Ii
| get used TO it," feebly requested the tina
lOld-Timer. mar
| - edu
Ouch! tion
Ills dear Nife'S nagging makes him she
wall, jChi
1 know he'd like to slam her; isor
For, while she can not drive a nail, JAG
She sure can use her hammer. chr
- bro
Inconsistent. nan
The grocery store was crowded, and, II
after a delay. Mrs. Smith walked over to
10 one of the clerks and said some ent,
thing to him and stalked out of the fouI
place. cou
What was she kicking about? 2" face
asked the Grocer. when he had time of
to talk to the Clerk. ling
she was kicking about the long he
wait" replied the Clerk. whs
Dam a woman, anyway" said the tory
lGrocer. "She was in here yesterday maj
Kicking about the short weight" Orl'
- Wit
Alta Boy! to
The wind blows high. the wind blows dea
low, THE
1t keeps me on the hop: flee
but 1 think / will let 1t blow. was
Until it wants to stop. Nev
- tire
Amt 1t Orful! 1.-The
Right now 1t looks like the State of rusl
New Jersey will have to get out an Il
injunction to keep Doubleyou Jay sipI
Bryan from contributing to Governor JAG
IEdwards's campaign fund. adv
- con
Paw Knows Everything. LAM
Willie-Paw, what Is a philoso- the
lpher? stoi
/ Paw-A philosopher is a man who day
talks like a wise man and acts like a Is
earn fool, my son. car
- upo
Bargain Hunters. ign
Just see the women shoppers flock MOI
Into that store!" said Vost: Mo-
'"The man is selling out his stock was
or postage stamps at cost" fare
Maybe. ma
Maybe the reason why there is so or
Imuch anita gonism to the More Day rec
Hight movement Is because the aver OF
age man can't see why he should fou
suffer one hour longer per day with lost
1.-THE kaifs closed. "a
Itha
Or the Germany. pea
II don't like these new dances" at
said dear old Mrs. Malaprop to BAH ma
lCrank, II prefer the Old-fashioned +
dances, such as the stately mignon- gra
Iette." fou
- her
I'll Say He Wood. nev
Mary came across the sea-, ln'
Her home was on the Strand; lie
/ took a trip to Baltimore MS
To see dear Maryland. ITO
Billy Wood. and
What if Mary had swan across, wal
And had no clothes to wear; Coz
Do you reckon Billy Wood itro
Have still been waiting there? aho
Louisville. wol
- Tres
How About Him? '
We wonder if any of our pro-British ing
members have any objection to our Der
making Pat Irish, of Ft. Worth Texas, iau
"a member of the Club? lty.
- icha
Yes, But Whaddy va Mean? {
marion (Ohio) Starr JAG
Dare Devil Johnny Reynolds as
doing Stunts That Are Almost In AT
human. on
- lane
SOM VIII
/. M. Dry does business at 724 the
!Racine street. Chicago. Ill. .ne
Our Daily Special. gre
1t Is q Poor Mule That Has NolIo
kick Coming. ny
Luke McImke Says. Sp'
A made-over dress looks mighty ms
lgood to q man. But the woman VINO ".
lis wearing 1t knows that it doesn't fool r.
lother women. ~
We can't understand why clothes -
are SO dear. Since Prohibition came in
lxL 500 ,,o, have ontfnp c N slim fhntI