Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1920-08-13

beats into my head the sensational fact
that it's all wrong TO say, II amt go,
nothin'," and the like. He also tells me-
lotta hop about singles and piurais
and where does this bird get off to teach
mo anything about singles when l LED
the National League In hittin' for two
successfully days at the beginnin OF tne
season? When he shows mercy and lets
paper with a lotta maniacal stun on II
like, ITO be or not to be. aha, there's a
question for you - which same was
wrote by a fathead named Hamlet;
which accordin' to the rest of the novel
killed his mothers uncle, but was re-
leased on a technicality.
Joe, I copied this stun down for three
days like teacher told me and got manya
the laugh outa II and then / thought
woul knock the newspapers l am q
arthur for silly by shown 'em English
and me was far from strangers, so
what do | do, Joe. but write my stun
In the most exuuisitely Engish one uas
and the sporting's editor throws it into
the waste basket. and says write II over
In my own way. because they nave
hired me to write slang and not Eng
lish and II they want the latterly they
can get It for s1s the week.
Well. that kinda puts me up aSa'nett as;, 81
speakin nothn' but the purely Englis,n,
will lose my Job and II I don't ! VIII
lose my wife, but bein' guy, whlch Us
as full of ideas as Georgia Is tull or
southerners, I Immediately and az once
doped out a scheme to gimme a out
from this jam. or critically aityaton as
the highbrows wouldst call 1t. went
TO work and hired kid which lives IN
the next fat and is a high school IN.
mate to copy off this stuff for me ana a
when hand II In every day the OLD
guy which is slippin' this education de
luxe grins like a wolf and claims I'm
marvellous and admit IT.
Joe. most doubtless you Will wanna
know how come Jeanne to get into the
movies when with this and with THAI
am draggin' Nown enough Jack each
week to support starvin' Armenia II II
needst be, not that they ever asked me-
Also why should she give sharks leg
whether or not they Is somethln' ser
Iously wrong with my grammar when
the English she uses herself is Literally
mixed with French and X the time
gotta guess what she's sayin', the
answer to this is Joe, that Jeanne as
you might have suspected is member
of the females sex and there's that!
We'll, the movie thing started when
Jeanne got that Job as extry lady In
one of them too many reel thrillers
called, Twas Her Own Fault " JUST
what a eXtry lady rs ! can't say at TINS
date. Joe, but that fits Jeanne all right
which is not only somethin extry but
five-star special, besides
After we have Chastised the neighbors
by discussin the thing til half the ten
ants in the house sets out in the dead of
night to look for other apartments
Jeanne give in and says she will quit
the movies IL ! will drop baseball for
life and have my supply OF English
completely overhauled. Bein' glutton
for punishment. Joe, went out and
filed my application with the nearest
kindergarten and says | will vanish
from baseball as soon as l can get an
other job.
This here caused some of the hostili-
ties to let up for a while. Joe. and the
nearest thing to actual peace guy
which Is happily married can get was
had
Well. I went out on the road with the
club and started off like a burnin' oil
well. Joe. as far as ptChin' Is concerned
The Pittsburgh Pirates could do nothin
with me at all and outa two games ]
hurled against them babies | win even
one. Is they anything wrong with
that? In Chicago l was potson's ivy to
the Cubs. l went In against them guys
three times and the best they could do
was to cop the first two by the narrow
margins of three f0ns each and although
they put in pinch hitters and shifted
their battin' order this way and that
they could only take the third game
5 TO 2. Mac pitched me exactly but
once against the Cincinnati Reds and
you know how them guys was travelin
in July. hey? Well, it was all different