El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-06-24
POLITICS IS
SAFETY VALVE


l taking long chances on being re-
/ elected, and called a fool.
! The great American public gets a
[ lot OF fun out OF politics, adopts il
as a national safety valve to let of
/ the steam Of bolshevism, anarchy and
contempt for government that some
times fills the bosom, and keeps at
peace with itself and its neighbors
I through it. But the man who holds
Z office by the viii Of the people-wells
Z the man who wrote the little Quip
I that uneasy lies the head that wears
a crown" ought to be drafted TO write
one a hundred times worse on this
poor subject
sim. candidates are not hard to
find and some politicians wear dia-
monds.
Cold feet may make a man the
object Of the contempt OF all his
make him half ns uncomfortable
as a cold in the head.
Daddy. If lots OF cherries make me
sick If 1 eat EN-" said Little Chris, I
might as well eat an awful lot OF EN-,
for they wouldn't make me any
sicker.y
who used to boast that he used n
fresh collar every day, and
thought he was "sOme pump
kinsrf
There are a lot OF sad things, but
none sadder than pretty girl walk
ing down the street wearing white
silk hose on a rainy day when passing
vehicles are scattering mud from the
pavement
What's that you're smoking?"
asked the wife, as husband came in
with one OF his nomination winnings
in his mouth 1t smells like
quilt"
young fellow had not had n
letter for a week from his sweet
heart He wrote hers 4If there
was any truth in the old adnge
that ssiIene is golden 1 could
certainly cash in a million on
yOu-7
In 'Tomorrow's Price" a new A
H Woods show now running in Chi
cago, there is a mighty good little
A young man and his sweetheart
are standing before the mirror.
What do you seeg' he asks her.
Il see nothing but the two OF u.s."
q see nothing but the one Of you"
II more couples could see As the
young man saw, wouldn't there
be a lot more Joy in the yoridf
The same play carries some other
good lines.
has no business in Wall street." is one
Of them.
aInEratifude. thy name Is Wom-
an,S Is another.
"A margin is what's between you
and heir is another.
Here Is one that ought TO interest
FL PasO oil stock spectators:
Paper profit" explains z man TO
an inQuiring woman. 'is what you
make on a deal at a broksr's-if you
make it."
wei. II you lose. what then7v she
asks.
asWem. the broker gives you
tip on another stock" he says,
''and II you lose that, he gives you
another and 80 On-unfiI you are
sbrOke'.-
4 lot Of US can realize how true the
following Is;
Poor old jim" says a friend. as
Jim comes IN after a cleaning"
You never described me better in
your life" says Jim
The head Of a factory is asked his
prospects by the father Of the girl
he wants TO marry. He describes
them in the following words, which /
call delicious satire.
Il am fairly well fixed. ] am
the head Of this Institution and,
SO far as ! know, my employees are
fairly well satisfied with my ser
vices. Ny chief mechanic Il max
Ing but little more than an, and
draw almost as much ont Of the
business as the driver OF my de-
livery truck gets. What more do
you wantf7
She tells him that in his ideals. he
Is not in line with things these days.
You should have lived 400 years
ago." she tells him You would have
been one Of the bold knights who
fought for liberty and freedom"
what would your father have
BEEN" he asks, If he had lived them"
I think he would have been a
monk, she says. You know they
days"
She tvTits him for coming into
his office from the factory with
out washing hiE hands. He re-
pIieEs
"a fellow who always keeps his
hands clean never knows much
about his business.
heard love" described the other
day as something only very young
ana inexperienced people dare TO dab
bic IN disease that is cured by mar
rage but IS likely to recur quite /
often and from which no person Is I
immune, no matter how often az Z
flicted-"
For the benefit Of James G. Nc I
Nary, O. II. Baum and Julius Kra- l
kauer, this weather bulletin Is or I
Tered:
Right after they left Chicago. the /
wind switched around from the lakes /
one evening. brought in a heavy fog I
with 1t ana forced people to dig up I
straw hats
During the convention nobody /
could have been made to believe that 1
an oyercoat ever would be necessary
In Chicago again
>
WIN Oscar Roos please stand M
and tell US what thew want with =