The Washington herald., 1920-07-12
By DOROTHY DIX
Copyright, 1870.
wheeler Syndicate, lne-
Excellent Advice

manner that you longed to throw
their gifts back in their faces?
And haven't you had people re-
fuse you things with so charming
a manner that you went away
sorrier for them because they
couldn't oblige you. than you were
for yourself because you didn't get
what you had asked for? That's
the difference between graciousness
and ungraciousness.
There are people who cannot give
you a pocket handkerchief without
making you feel that you are a
pauper, who never do sou a kind
ness without making you realize
that II is a great sacrifice for them,
who cannot associate with you
without patronizing you. whom you
never spend an hour with without
their wounding your feelings or
hurting your self-love in some way.
They may be at heart really good
kind men and women, but their
brusk and brutal manners make
them enemies instead of friends.
They are the sort of people who.
while they are relieving your needs,
deliver you a lecture on your lack
OF thrift; who feel II their sacred
duty to tell you of your weaknesses
and shortcomings, and who take
credit to themselves because with
all your faults they love you still.
The gracious man or woman may
not give you half so much, but they
do 1t with a sympathy that warns
the very cookies OF your heart; they
make you feel that they consider il
a privilege to know you instead OF
impressing on you that 1t is an
honor for you to know them. and
you never go from their presence
without in some subtle way having
your opinion of yourself somehow
inflated
The brusk people have to fight,
tooth and nail, for everything they
get. We hand the gracious all they
Gesire on silver salver. We 60
out of our way to help them. for
we all do favors for the people we
like that we wouldn't do for those
We don't like.
How important. then, to teach
children graciousness, which in its
last analysis is simply the art Of
getting along with our fellow crea-
lures without friction.
To do this begin by teaching chill
dren to always speak in a pleasant
tone Of voice. Never let them ac-
quire the bad habit of swapping or
snarling, or replying in a surly
manner when spoken to. 1t is just
as easy to acquire an agreeable
voice as IL is a disagreeable one,
and the one wins. at least, a hearing
while to the other every listener
turns deaf ear.
Teach children how to get along
together without quarreling. Teach
them how to lose. how to be good
sports, how to play the game. Teach
children how to give and take. and
NOT to whine and fight when another
wins. -
Teach children to be appreciative
OF what Is done for them. Teach
them to thank every one who does
q kindness to them, and to show
q proper gratitude for every cour-
.esy. Take the trouble to make
tnem write letters Of thanks to peo-
pie who send them presents and
notes Of congratulations and con-
ooience to their acquaintances who
have Joys come to them or sorrows
befall them.
Teach them to consider the feel
ings OF other people and to avoid
saying the things that hurt and
stao ,ust as they.would refrain from
physically wounding other people.
70 even farther than this, and teach
mem TO say pleasant and kindly
things to people. There are Just as
many men and women starving for
rev KIND words as there are hun
cry for bread.
1T isn't what he said; II was the
nasty way he said it, Complained
the hero of1ihe. song Of his enemy.
Teach children the pleasant way in
stead Of the "narsty' way II you