The Washington herald., 1920-04-14
GIVING THE GIRL THE ONCE
OBER As A WIFE.


OBER AS A WIFE.
A young man has written me a
letter in which he says:
The only thing that a man knows
about women is that he doesn't
know a single, solitary. blooming
thing about her. Now. 1 wish to
get married, and 1 will be eternally
grateful to you IL you can put me
wise to any method by which 1 can
tell. on the safe side Of the altar.
even approximately what sort Of a
wife a girl is likely to make"
Surely. son. surely The one really
clever thing that women have eveh
done Is to establish in the minds of
man the tradition that they are
creatures of mystery beyond his
fathoming. That has enabled the
fair sex to camoufage it's arts and
its wiles. and to run in all sorts of
hocus-pocus stuff on poor unsus-
pecting man.
For, you see, man has been so
thoroughly convinced that woman
Is a conundrum whose answer he
can never guess, anyway, that he
never tried to guess the riddle at
all, but goes it blindly and trusts
to luck, where she is concerned.
Which is all nonsense, for woman.
In reality, Is a simple creature that
he who runs may read, IL he will.
To begin with, IL the man who is
thinking of getting married would
pay more attention to what is in
the skull Immediately under a girls
hair than he does to the color Of il,
and IL he would take more notice
of the size and shape of her jaw
bone than he does of her complexion
and If he would give more time to
observing whether her nostrils are
thin and Quivering than he does to
whether her profile is classic or pi-
quaint, he would start off with a
very good tip as to the kind of a
wife he Is likely to get IL he mar
ries her.
For matrimony works no miracles.
1t will not change a fool into a wise
woman, nor will it convert the
maiden with a square bulldog chin
into n soft and yielding clinging
vine who asks her husband what he
thinks she thinks, and whose only
desire In life Is to flop on some man.
ly arm. Neither is the maiden who
Is nervous and emotional by tenn
permanent apt to be calmed and
soothed by the stress of matrimony,
which is no rest cure for any wo-
man.
Aside, however. from the hints
conveyed by a careful study of the
lady's physiognomy. there are va
rious points in the daily life ana
conversation Of a young woman
that a prospective benedict may
consider with profit to himself.
First. never marry a girl until
you have seen her in the bosom of
her family, and against her own
background. Any girl can look good
In party dress, and be amiable in
company. especially in the company
OF young man whom she is stalk
Ing in the husband hunt. but when
you see her at home you get a real
line on her.
1t is desirable. Of course. that she
know how to cook and run a house
and you shall escape much trouble
with your stomach, and large bills
to the butcher and baker. II you
pick out a girl for a wife who is
mothers helper. and who has
learned how to broil q steak. and
make bread, and buy green grocer
les at her family's expense.
This is not absolutely necessary.
however, for any girl who can read
can take a cook book and learn how
to cook IN six weeks, and she will
do 1t IL she Is sufficiently in love
with the man she marries. Some
times a girl who has never done
anything but manicure her finger
nails before marriage takes. corns
on her hands working after mar
riage, and conversely, who has
spent her life in the kitchen comes
out of IL on her wedding day per-
manently, and can never be induced
to enter 1t again. You never can
tell. and domesticity is worth TAX
ing a chance on. anyway.
The thing to observe Is whether
the girl BOSSES her family or not
for bossiness grows by. what II
feeds on. and no tyrant was ever
cured of tyranny. Especially the
Notice wall then. IL n 1frl'a moth-