davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Coconino sun., 1920-02-06
WHY PAPER IS SCARCE

How many reports of one kind and another should a railroad like the Pennsylvania make to the interstate commerce commission in a year? If those reports were well digested and inclusive, five hundred year would seem ample. Let us take fool measure and say ten thousand. In one year the Pennsylvania, for its lines east of Pittsburgh alone, made upwards of 10000 reports to Washington. Null tiply this by two hundred railroads in the United States and see what a single bureau can devise in the way of impediments to the productive power of the country's greatest in- dustry.
 Some casual caller asks a commits sioner, half in jest, how many cats are kept to catch mice in the stations of a railroad. They are on the point of going out to a brief two hour luncheon, but the commissioner in structs a subordinate to find out, and promptly forgets all about the matter. Does that clerk refer to the files to see if the question has been already answered? No. He dictates mani fold letter to about two hundred rail- roads.
 When the answer is received, in the exact form required by the commits sion, everyone has forgotten what the question was about. The two hundred reports are not even read, except by superfuous statisticians, who calculate the number of cats and check by the number of tails. as likely as not getting their useless figures balled up by single animal of the Maux vari- ety, which has no tail.
The Coconino sun., 1920-02-06
SALVATION ARMY IS
 DOING RESCUE WORK

DENVER, COLO.-(Special) ).--
 Women of the city are more immoral than those of the country, but their
 superior knowledge of the ways of the world enables them better to con- ceal their fault, according to Judge
 Ben B. Lindsey, juvenile court judge, of this city, whose observation is based on hundreds of cases that have been brought before him.
 "The country girl who goes wrong usually is of the innocent, clinging- vine variety" he said. "She puts all her trust in man, or perhaps in an interruptions or immoral member of her own sex, and is betrayed. Then because she cannot conceal her shame in the small community where she lives, she seeks refuge in the city. The city girls who slip from the path of virtue usually are wise and are con- fronted with no such dilemma. I can see field of activity of tremendous importance of the Salvation Army in the smaller cities and rural districts if it will undertake to remedy condi- tions relating to illegitimacy alone in the country In my opinion the re- 'oS' Ui ehis Wouiu De Ielt III tne clC1eS as well as in the country"
 Judge Lindsey was discussing the service program of the Salvation Army for 1920 which contemplates an extension of the organizations work and influence from its corps centers to counties where it is not now repre- sented. This is to be sought through the formation of local advisory boards of business men and civic leaders who are to study their local social condi- tions and report to the Salvation Army territorial officers at Chicago. These in turn will review this confi- dential data and advise the local boards, or may send expert army workers should conditions justify.
 While am most familiar with con- ditions in the city," Judge Lindsey continued, "yet it has been my observ- ation that conditions in certain sec tions of the outlying districts call for the closest study and that such an in- quiry might bring revelations that would surprise the home folks
 "l know of no organization so well fitted to initiate such study and make profitable use of the information thus obtained as the Salvation Army. Whether they operate in the city or the country the Salvation Army will reach people not touched by the churches. I cannot explain it alto gether but it seems to me to be part lv a matter of psychology; the Sal vationists are in closer touch and more thorough sympathy with certain elements of our population and they attract them to their meetings by their fervor and sincerity and exert tremendous influence even where they do not convert.
 "The efficiency of the Army, the strength of its personnel and it's abil- ity to rise and meet emergencies was never better demonstrated than in the recent war. The workers won the gratitude of every doughboy l met in France, and I would like to see the Salvation Army take advantage of this opportunity to expand their eff forts and influence for peace time work while this feeling of gratitude is fresh in the minds of all service men.
 What the Salvation Army did in time of war is insignificant compared with what it may do in times of peace"
The Coconino sun., 1920-02-06
California, had won, by a big major

California, had won, by a big major ity.
 That the vote was not unanimous, however. may be judged by those fla miliar with the political creeds of the following voters who registered in the election:
 Judge S. B. Gilliland, Allan Doyle, Frank Richmond, J. D. Jackson, Hayes Weidner, Clarence Pulliam and J. w. Piner.
 G. N. Baty wasn't there. If he had been it is likely Hiram would have had more opposition; for they do say that Baty never has and never will forgive Hiram for refusing to pay a certain little bill of $65 that he owes him. It seems that just after John. son was married, Baty was employed by him to do the interior decorating in his new home. Mrs. Johnson or dered a lot of extra work, which Baty did, but which, when the latter pre- scented his bill for same,. Johnson, it is alleged, refused to pay.
 Baty says there's nothing in the be- lief some people have that it's an hon. or to have celebrity in debt to one.
 Fred Caring says some burglars broke into one of the Tucson stores while he was in that town. They left a note, saying:
 "Gents-We broke in here to make haul, but your goods are marked so d. high, we couldn't afford to take any of them"
 Assistant County Attorney Geo. A. Harben says he knows an old moon sinner down in Georgia, who when the United States got around to get ting into the worlds war, called his four stalwart sons around him, and said:
 Boys I reckon yo'all had better list now. I, fit aginst the flag, but it's a purty good old flag, n I want yo' all to go in and fight agin them thar Germans an, shoot 'em down jest as if they was revenoo manw
 John M. Clark says he is going be- fore the city council at their next meeting and urge upon them that they meet this prohibition proposition by passing an ordinance requiring that no one shall smoke anything but ] Camel cigarettes.
The Coconino sun., 1920-02-06
LITERARY PRECISION

Are you going to pay any atten- ton to these epithets that are being hurled at you?"
 "Yes, indeed" answered Senator Sorghum. ''I'm having them all care fully copied and filed away. I may need them when it comes my turn to call names."
The Coconino sun., 1920-02-06
A BOOST TO MORALE

It is remarkable the way the pre- diction of the retail clothing dealers association that there would soon be a raise in the price of wearing apparel has strengthened the morale of the average mans only suit of clothes, which has been on the firing line con- tinuously for the last three or four years.
The Coconino sun., 1920-02-06
OF THE SAME MIND

"This picture" said Mir. Gawker. "Was painted in a garrett" replied the proud owner.
 "Well! Well"
 "A hundred thousand wouldn't buy it now."
 "No?" said Mir. Gawker, eyeing the masterpiece more closely. "And I'm one of the hundred thousand"
The Coconino sun., 1920-02-06
THERE WAS A REASON

T know a man that has been mar ried thirty years and he spends all his evenings at home."
 That's what l call love-"
 "Oh, no, it's paralysis"
The Coconino sun., 1920-02-06

Answers to correspondents:
 Bob Taylor-What is the oldest piece of furniture in the world? The multiplication table. | Dr. J. O. Creager-What worC contains the five vowels in order?
 Facetious. Miss B.-What is the best way to keep a mans love? Not return it.
 Roger Morse--Why did Adam bite the apple Eve gave him? Because he had no knife. "Rimmy Jim" Gidding-Why does a man sneeZe? l This was too deep for us, so we re- ferred it to Bill Doney, who explained -"Because he can't help it." Andy Samsky-What is the largest room in the world?
 The room for improvement. Ernest Lennon says that the last time he was at Niagara Falls he while standing right at the brink of the falls, an Irishman came along and joined him.
 "Why," said the Irishman, whats here to make such bother about?"
 Man." said Lennon, "don't you see this great river flowing over this high precipice?"
 "Shure," retorted the Irishman, land what's to hinder it?"
 Last Thursday afternoon the writ CT strolled into the city hall after the crowd assembled there had finished electing the next president of the United States. Hiram Johnson, of
The Coconino sun., 1920-02-06

An epltaph or two, to nghten things up:
 Ruth Sprague, daughter of Gibson and Elizabeth Sprague; died June II 1846, aged 9 years, 4 months and 3 days. She was stolen from the grave by Roderick R. Glow, dissected at Dr. P. M. Armstrong's office in Hoosick N. Y., from which place her mutilated remains were obtained and desposited here.
 "Her body dissected by fiendish man, Her bones anatomized, Her soul, we trust, has risen to God, Where few physicians rise." "The wedding day appointed was, And wedding clothes provided; Before the nuptial day, alas!
 He sickened and he die did" "T laid my wife beneath this stone For her repose and for my own" Dr. c. F. Portz says the meanest man he ever knew called on a widow every night for ten years, but refused to marry her, giving as his excuse that if he did he would then have no place to spend his evenings. cannot sing the old songs-"My
 Brown October Ale" Without the kicks sorry drip, a
 phantom carol pale; l cannot Hail, the Gangs All Here,"
 that paean of flicker quaint, Since hops have hopped forever more
 and alcohol is ain't. "A Stein Upon the Table" tastes like
 h. if filled with tea; "Budweiser Is a Friend of Mine"
 merely in memory; "Down Where the Wurzburger" was
 wont to flow now gently purls Insipid sips and silly nips for Willie
 boys and girls. I cannot sing the old songs-at "Glor-
 ious Beer" stop My soul revolts at thoughts of jolts
 when I must gargle pop; All reminiscent hints of hootch render
 me cold and faint Since hops have hopped forevermore
 and alcohol is aint!
 -P. J. Moran.
The Coconino sun., 1920-02-06
CHE FUL HIRP s
(By "DEL.")

Mostly those intervals when real idea along and is grabbed of.
The Coconino sun., 1920-02-06

"Doc," he asked Dr. Fronske, "what is the matter with my little boy?" "Why, it's only a corrustified exc gesio, anti-spasmodically emanating from the germ of the animal refriger- ator, producing a prolific source of ir- ritability in the preferential epidermis of the mental profundity."
 That's just what l told Betsy, but she lowed it was wurrums"
 Favorite notices of famous men:
 Dave Babbitt-Never look a gift mule in the hind leg.
 Charlie Prochnow-Out of sight, out of mind; in sight, never mind.
 Pete Solberg-It's a poor rule that won't work one way. Charlie Woolfolk-A fair exchange is no horse trade. Francis Crable-The man who is down is looking for the other fellow who kicked some of the rungs out of his ladder of success. George Fleming says southern Louisiana is the most fertile country in the world. The land there produces forty bushels of frogs to the acre and alligators enough to fence them. "Hit don make no diffunce t q blind man bout de color O de rose," said Brunette Ike, sadly, "but some- how l think dey ain nobody got mo 'preciation in he nose. Have a pickle, i Misto' Dixon." ha .k,r rassed fellow he ever saw was a bachelor who had been called upon by a friends wife to admire her months old baby. He had forgotten whether the baby was boy or girl. "Well, well," he exclaimed, "but he's nice little fellow, isn't she? How old is it now? Do her teeth bother him much ? She is like her father, isn't he? Every body says it is?"
 Build little fence of trust
 Around today,
 Fill the space with loving work
 And therein stay; Look not between the sheltering bars
 Upon tomorrow, But take whatever comes to thee
 Of joy or sorrow.
 J. P. Kerley says Lo, the poor h. dian, whose untutored mind objects to corsets facing up behind, is right there just the same when it comes to modern toilet articles. Here is a note he got from dusky lady out on the reservation:
 "Please send by bearer 1 box violet talcum powder flesh color, 1 pair cor sets, front lacers, size 34, l bottle Beauty Balm"
 Heard a man telling a carpenter who was working for him:
 "If you had been hired to build the ark, we shouldn't have had that flood yet"
 Steve Askew sold his fat hogs Monday to Hutton and Sidwell, of Casey.
 "Mrs. Steve Askew now wears a new set of temporary false teeth."- Casey, H., Banner-Times.
 That's what we call an uncanny CO., incidence.
 Answers to correspondents:
 ROh Tavlor-Whaf is the oIdesf
The Coconino sun., 1920-02-06

Prof. o. H. Richardson tells about . preacher who occupied a pulpit in his town for one day several years ago. He was very small chap. At the morning services his eyes appear ed just above the pulpit. He an- nounced as his text: "Be of good cheer, it is l, be not afraid" In the afternoon he stood on footstool and announced as his text: "A little while ye shall see me; again, little while ye shall not see me-" Just then the footstool slipped and he verified his text.
 The laziest man John Francis ever knew wrote out long and fervent prayer and tackled it to the head of his bed. On cold nights he merely point ed to the document, saying: 70, Lord, them's my sentiments"
 George Babbitt says he once knew the two meanest men in the world. One of them, after horse he owned had thrown his wife and broken her neck, refused to sell the horse to a neighbor who wanted it for his wife to ride and offered twice what the an imal was worth. The owner refused to sell because he was about to marry again himself.
 Love is sed to be blind, but l know lots ov phelows in love who kan see twict az much in their sweethearts as kan.--Bill Doney's philosophy.
 "Mr. Editor: In answer to an item in your paper, l want to ask you this, if when a man came to a woman's house and insults her half dog. times and she tells her husband about it and nothing is said about it, then this woman says that that man can't come on the place that she is on while she is there, then the old dad-in-law makes fuss, and gets up and swares that man will come or he, the old dad in-law will burn powder on the wom- an, and then that woman tells her husband that she will not take the old folks to keep for the winter nor no time for that man would be running there all the time, he brings the old folks out anyway. Now tell me if that hain't cause enough for woman to leave her home without anything more. Now reader this is not all, but all l will say for this time, but the woman you know is always to blame. Lewis Rea's wife."-Nauvoo, H., h. dependent.
 Ain't it the truth?
 Ain't what the truth?
 Why, what Lewis Rea's wife says.
The Coconino sun., 1920-02-06

An epitaph or two, to tighten things up:
The Coconino sun., 1920-02-06

The laziest man John Francis ever knew wrote out long and ferveni prayer and tackled it to the head of his bed. On cold nights he merely point. ed to the document, saying: 70, Lord them's my sentiments"
The Coconino sun., 1920-02-06

Love is sed to be blind, but l know lots ov phelows in love who kan see twict az much in their sweethearts as 1 kan.--Bill Doney's philosophy.
The Coconino sun., 1920-02-06

Build little fence of trust
 Around today. Fill the space with loving work
 And therein stay; Look not between the sheltering bars
 Upon tomorrow, But take whatever comes to thee
 Of joy or sorrow.
The Coconino sun., 1920-02-06

Hit don make no diffunce t . blind man bout de color O de rose, said Brunette Ike, sadly, "but some. how I think dey aim nobody got mo 'preciation in he nose. Have a pickle Misto' Dixon."
The Coconino sun., 1920-02-06

George Fleming says southern Louisiana is the most fertile country in the world. The land there produces forty bushels of frogs to the acre and alligators enough to fence them.
The Coconino sun., 1920-02-06

Heard man telling carpenter who was working for him:
 "If you had been hired to build the ark, we shouldn't have had that flood yet"
The Coconino sun., 1920-02-06

Steve Askew sold his fat hogs Monday to Hutton and Sidwell, of Casey.
 Mrs. Steve Askew now wears a new set of temporary false teeth."- Casey, H., Banner-Times.
 That's what we call an uncanny CO., incidence.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1920-02-12
(First Published Feb. Il, 1920
NOTICE OF HEARING PETITION
FOR PROBATE OF WILL.

In the County Court within and for
Grady County, Oklahoma.
In Probate No. 1044.
In the matter of the estate of d.
S. Reynolds, deceased.
Notice is hereby given that a pc
tition for the probate Of the will of
d. s, Reynolds, deceased, and for the
issuance Of letters testamentary to
w. d. Collier, have been filed in this
court, and that the 9th day of Feb
1920. at 10 o'clock a. m.. of said day
in the court room of said court, at
the court house in the City of Chick
asha, County of Grady and State of
Oklahoma, have been appointed as
the time and place for hearing said
petition, when and where all persons
interested may appear and contest
the same, and show cause, if any,
why said petition should not be
granted
Dated, Chickasha, Oklahoma. Jan.
81, 1920.
THOMAS j. O'NEILI4.
Attest; County Judge.
EDNA #, WATKINS.
County Court Clerk.
BY FAYE PATRICK. 21212t
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1920-02-12
NOTICE TO CONTRACTORS

Sealed proposals will be received
a. the office OF the county clerk of
Grady county. Oklahoma, until
o'clock p. m, March 1st, 1920, and
will be opened by the board % coun-
ty commissioners of Grady county,
oklahoma, for the construction of
the following bridge, viz
No 81. 100 feet Steel Span on
Washita River, miles south of
Lucille, oklahoma.
Proposals must be accompanied
by a certified check of per cent
of amount of proposal on some
local bank payable to the county
treasurer of Grady county, Oklaho-
ma, to be returned to all unsuccess-
ful bidders Immediately after the
contract is awarded, but the check
of the successful bidder will be re-
tanned until he furnishes a bond ac-
ceptable to the board of county com
lulSSlOueTS.
The successful bidder will be re-
quired to furnish a bond according
to form No. 20 of Oklahoma Depart
ment Of Highways. Plans and speei-
fications will be on file in the office
of the county clerk. The board of
county commissioners reserve Dhe
right to reject any and all bids and
construct by day labor.
Alternate bids will be considered
for any plan approved by the Ok
lahoma Department Of Highways.
Plans and specifications are on
lie in the county clerks office.
r. S. COX, County Clerk.
I2-3t.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1920-02-12
Bessie BarriscGIe
RECKONING ROADS
A Robertson-coIe Feature
PRICES.
Sincerity First REQUISITE.

And least Of all is sincerity a qual.
ty that can be successfully inflated.
II twines th-cug', the whole emotional
fiber; 1t has Its roots in the heart.
sincerity gives wings to power" is
the Way an old proverb happily puts
II. Go through auy list OF acknowl.
edged !eader of business and profes
sional life. You viii find there are
few who have not been p.e.eminently
sincerc.-H. Addington Bruce.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1920-02-12
Meanino Is Same.

Massachusetts, Pennsylvania. ylr-
ginia am 1tncky are otlit tally
styled conmo.. WealIhS, although there
seems to be no particular reason, x
cepl custom, as commonwealth has
practically the same meaning as state.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1920-02-12
Family Secrets.

"What a beautiful mamma you've
got" said a guest to his hostess little
daughter.
"Yes, when there's party replied
the infant terrible.-Boston Trans
cript.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1920-02-12

APRICOT SATIN GOWN Perhaps
the most attractive gown young
woman might wish for is this dainty
one of apricot satin combined with
turquoise blue chiffon
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1920-02-12
r A Xa
RETURNS .
Don't Pay More Than
You Should.


Unless you're a philadelphia
Lawyer you'll be puzzled and
worri.d in making your excess
profit and income tax report.
Don't take chances of overpay-
ing Uncle Sam or cheating
yourself-nor yet of trouble re-
sulting from incorrect returns
due to misunderstanding rather
than any attempt to evade the
law. KNOW your returns are
right. My fees as Certified
Public Accountant and tax ex-
pert are small in comparison to
savings effected. Write, wire
or phone,
p. D. HILL
Certified Public Accountant
Audits, Systems, Cost Account
ing. 633-3i Security Bldg. Ok
lahoma City. Telephone M-575.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1920-02-12
+
"UPSTAIRS AND
DOWN"
A Selznick Picture.
Olive Thomas

HE ruined my young life and took
advantage of my innocence" she
murmured to her sister when this
same sister had told her of being en-
gagged to him. But she lied She did
it very prettily, but she lied. She
separated her older sister from the
lover that she wanted for herself
If upstairs and Down was a
heavy dramatic production instead of
comedy-drama, the authors could
never have brought the two right
lovers together again. Not by the
widest streak of Imagination But
1t is light and airy comedy drama
although for awhile it looks as if an
otherwise lovely young girl had ruin
ed the lives of two forever and anon.
To see just how prettily Olive
Thomas can lie, and get away with
it, you must see her in Upstairs and
Down
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1920-02-12
OLUc Tell
"THE' TRAP
"AmbrOse Comedy"

Is scream; bring the children.
Feature starts, 2:35, AIS. s, 7;45
and $3.50.
The Nenana daily news., 1920-02-10

tion to readers of The News. He is an oldtimer of nearly all the h. terior camps and was in the em- ploy of the Alaskan Engineering commission, in the train service, for considerable time before his de parture for the coast.
 Shortly after his arrival at An chorage, he purchased an interest in pool hall, but did not remain long in business. He sold to ad- vantage soon after acquiring the in- terest, and has since been working for the commission, in the train service.
The Nenana daily news., 1920-02-10
NICK LARSON WEOS
 IN RAILROAD TOWN

The marriage of C. x. tNick) Larson and Miss Erma Estella Neff, at Anchorage, on the evening of February 5, is announced in a tele. gram received by the groom's sister, Mrs. Alex Fowler, of this city. De- tails of the wedding are coming by mail.
 The groom is too we'll known i'll Interior Alaska to need introduc-