The Coconino sun., 1920-03-05

1 it. That any of the two dozen black birds should even chirp after being fully baked, is preposterous. We have heard-and so, mayhap have you--of birds who sang over much when stew ed, and possibly when they were roast ed upon arriving home; but when baked, NEVER! We therefore dis miss the legend as wholly fictional, and regret that so many young minds have been misled by it's teaching. We own dog, and his name was Jim Till our jitney bus ran over him; It took one foot, and so, you see, He puts down one and carries three And the whole darned family hollered quick:
 We'll change Jim's name to Arithme- tic. Joe Bender.
 Same Bazant says he's going to get out a ready letter writer, one of those compilations of all kinds of letters, for all kinds of purposes, so anyone who possesses the book and wants to write letter has only to turn to the book and find one to fit the occasion. Here's one he suggests for the use of bankers:
 Dear Sir:-Pardon us for asking your assistance on a matter that con- cerns us only, but some of our incom- petent bookkeepers have got our books in mess, and it appears that you are overdrawn. This is, of course, amusing to you, but it is serious matter to us, and we will be obliged if you can take little of your valuable time to call in and locate the error." F.. H. Corey, of the Arizona Central bank, who recently came from Boston, says it isn't true that the folks back east use hifalutin' words.H He says they talk just like people do out here in the west. It is true, he says, that they prefer dignified language to prattle. This, he says, for instance, is the way little school child in Back Bay would recite Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star" Scintillate, scintillate, globule vivifc! Fain would I fathom thy nature spe- cific,
 Loftily poised in ether capacious, Strongly resembling gem carbonace- | ous.
 When torrid Phoebus refuses his pres | ence,
 And ceases to lamp us with fierce in- | candescence,
 Then you illuminate the regions su- | pernal-
 Scintillate, scintillate, semper noe Then the victim of hospiceless peregri- | nation
 Gratefully halls your minute corusca- | tion,
 He could not determine his journeys | direction
 But for your bright scintillating pro- lection.
 "Dey aim no man so proud dat he cyarn't take tumble" said Brunette Ike with glint in his eye. Hit take wife t show him whah he git off at. Try one ob desc hyar pickles, Misto' Dixon"
 The other day lady with bulging forehead and an earnest face asked us which measure of verse we preferred to express lofty thought. ] Don't you adore the dactyllic hex | difltltl S1lC dshtby
 "We seldom write limericks," we re- piled; whereupon she viewed us with alarm.
 Just what dactyllic hexameter is, we don't know, honestly. In fact, there are a lot of things we don't know. Frinstance, we're not up on the Shakespearian sonnet; but that stuff of Omar's gets us-especially the verse where he went out into the Go" conino National forest with a girl and jug of wine and sat down under a big pinestree
 To hear the music in her lightest sigh And watch the champagne bubbles in her eye;
 And when the jug was empty, to pro- nounce
 His maledictions on country dry!
 Gentlemen who look forward with a nervous dread, hunt up Isaiah (frst book after the remarks of Solomon) and read the first verse of chapter 4. There will be time when seven wom- en will hold fast to one man and offer to buy their own food and clothing if he'll just let each of lem be Mrs.