El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-06-22

the Wood ranks, IN the hope that IL
would bring other votes TO the gen
erals colors. but it failed II was a
good piece Of strategy on the part OF
Mr. Hitchcock. but the convention was
not ready TO accept Wood and 1t did
not stampede
When the Warren generalship
started a similar move. II went over
because Harding had not been tarred
with any Ivory soap money and the
convention felt favorable towards
him Ivory soap beat Cen Wood
There Is no question OF It
LOvTden For Senate.
Gen wood has plunged himself into
his military duties and Gov. Lowden
has gone back to the state capital,
where he IS considering whether to
run for a second term this fail, an
nounce for the United States senate
or go back TO his farm at SinissippL
The leaders Of the party who wish 20
complete the demolition Of mayor
Bill" Thompson. OF Chicago, hope
while, as they say he is the only state
leader who can completely put Thomp-
son out OF business.
II IS an open secret in Chicago that
the negro vote keeps Thompson in
power and they say that Lowden can
make greater lnroads through his
Pullman porters and their friends, on
the Thompson vote than anybody else
LOWden put Thompson off the Re
publican national committee because
he did not consider him a fit man for
the honor. Thompson then did all he
could TO keep Lowden from securing
the nomination for president II
there Is any revengeful sentiment In
the heart OF the governor. he IS going
to listen TO the pleadings OF his party
and stay in politics. Just to even
things with MAYOR Bill"
william Jennings Bryan f.
still wearing n black alpaca coat.
Arthur Brisbane says Il Is the
same one he bought when he went
into mourning Ove= the nOminn-
tion OF Parker.
A man has written a new play,
eolled The Dumb Wife" be admits
that it IS fairy story:
Daddy said little Chris, eff
they'd make trains wider, they
could make the coaches shorter
and put more coaches in n train
and haul more people,
SAY. young fellow" said Ring
Lardner 10 me. which was cOmpll-
mentary. considering that ne says he
is younger than I but doesn't look It,
If they pin any medals on you when
you go back home, for the stuff you
sent from Chicago. divide what you
get on EN- with me. for II was I. re-
member. who told you what 70 write"
You know me Al so I had 70 give
him a comeback and this was it:
Anyhow. three days before you
sent out the story that no laboring
man would accept the nomination for
the presidency because il only pays
ST, 900 a year and no laborer win
work for that. sent Il and I gave
credit for it to Ley D &
Ralph Henderson, The Herald's
advertising manager and were
walking down Dearborn street In
Chicago, looking ut the window
displays. when this sign greeted
U.S. ePujdmas, 20 percent off,"
Ralph smiled and saidi @sOme un-
dress affair, shouts say"
The New York Winter Gardens
Passing show" IS entertaining Chi
cagOans for a short time before the
did not have time. after seeing Il.
TO get the jokes on paper until after
boarding the train for the west Here
are some Of the best ones.
The scene is a Chinese marriage
market" a burlesque on Fay Bainter's
do you sell girls here2' asks a
man.
Yes"
We'll. what do they bringZ"
Trouble" answers the market man
This scene is in a doctors office;
a patient Is undergoing examination.
do You smoker" asks the doctor OF
the Hebrew patient
Yes" answers the patient
What do you smoker asks the
doctor.
Il smoke cigars" he replies. "but
my brother he smokes fish and an
other brother. he smokes beef They
work in a packing house"
can you see thls?" asks the doctor
as he holds something in front Of the
patients mouth.
How do you expect me to see
with my eye tooth?" asks the patient
Does your molar hurt2" asks the
doctor. 7 haven't any" says the pa
tent, "but my brother has. big one, ]
1n the back Of his neck. as big as ]
collar button"
Here, come back" says the doctor, /
as the patient leaves-he had been ad- /
CONTINUED on page 3, column ~