davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1920-08-13
Beatrice Fairfax
Gives
AdUice on LOUe
DEAR MISS FAIRFAX:

DEAR MISS FAIRFAX:
am a young girl of seventeen
and considered very attractive,
and have gone with quite few
fellows, but last December / met
very nice young man who has been
going with me ever since. This
young man got very angry because
/ went out with other fellows, but
he could go with other girls and
not only that, but bring them by
my house SO l could see them. l
stopped his company about two
weeks ago and to make him mad
/ went with one of his friends
whom he did not like. l would
love to continue going with this
young fellow. ! know l love him.
Please advise me whether to go
with him or not. l think il is the
girls fault that he doesn't come
around. PEGGY.
Most of your difficulties are of
your own making. If you had
really loved this young man, you
wouldn't have found any pleasure
in going out with other boys. The
very fact that the first young man
brings the other girls to your
home shows how harmless his in
terest in them is. Why can't you
join in and have a good time with
them all, instead of resorting to
silly antics of going out with boys
you don't like. Lots of girls la
Dor under the delusion that by
such methods they can pique the
interest and jealousy of young men
but l have yet to see them sue
ceed. Men get very tired of such
products of the circumvolutions
of the feminine mind.
You are unfair in blaming the
other girls. The boy is a free
agent and could leave the other
girls to come to you if he wanted
to. Act like a sensible girl. Be
a jolly good pal and companion
instead Of spoil sport and the
boy will probably be only too glad
to go around with you.
The Washington times., 1920-08-13
OH, SUBTLE GOVERNMENT.

CONTINUED FROM First ConmnsJ
United States Suppose also that newspapers OF France
had said 'the King is engaged in very subtle effort to
separate the people of the United States from Washington
and their other leaders, What would have been said over
here?
It isn't hard to guess. Well exactly the same thing
is said Russia when the President of the United States
ondeavors ''suby" to drive wedge between the people
of Russia and the leaders who have made Of Russia,
recently the failure and laughing stock of Europe tho
power that all Europe breads.
The Washington times., 1920-08-13
THE MISSING WORDS.

Quito unanimously the fans fur
nish the right words to the missing
word problem of L. r. MATTHEW'S.
The words that go in the five blanks.
in the order they come, are "vile."
"evil," "veil," Levi" and "live," all
formed from the same letters.
The answers are by Just a Girl"
(who writes in blood red ink). c. L.
AMERICA. MARIE NJ, N. ROUZEE.
NJ l.. f., A. WILKINS, lRMA HOB
SON. MARGUERITE D., Mrs. NELLIE
GRAHAM, II. b. r., JAZZ BEAU"
T.. HOLZER, NEDDIE, X. J. WHIT
TON, ALEXANDRIA, Va.
The Washington times., 1920-08-13
GoOp-LoOkuNG BOYS.

Three girls unite in asking why
a certain "ine-looking boy who
goes to Central High swimming
pools on Friday nights never
pays any attention to the smiles
of pretty girls?"
or course the editor can't tell them
why, but the boy may explain. He
may be unconscious of his good looks
or may not care about girls. That
would naturally pique the girls. The
chances are, writers say, that he will
some day find most attraction in a
girl who is not beautiful but has
other qualities that appeal to him
The Washington times., 1920-08-13

To the Editor Of THE TINES:
In the early part Of last May ! was
located in a small town on the At
lantic coast of Mexico, on duty for the
United States Government, when the
town was raided and all the stores
broken into, n number Of the citizens
killed, and che town terrorlzed by
drunken troops.
A large oil company operating in
that section which Is backed by Brit
ish government funds. notified the
foreigners who happened TO be there
The Washington times., 1920-08-13

taken regardless OF how grave the
situation might be.
An Englishman can do business and
land concessions in Southern Mexico
that would be impossible for an
American to obtain. ! know that the
British in that part Of the country
put themselves out so as TO put OBJ
stacles in my way and prevent Inc
from fulfilling my mission.
CHARLES w. FREDERIC.
1913 G. street northwest
The Washington times., 1920-08-13

that they would run one of their oil
cared to leave. l asked for passage
on this ship to the port above named
and was refused.
went to see the manager OF the
company, taking with me my papers
and passport and agreeing to pay full
passage. was told frankly that
being an American citizen could not
sail on his company's ships, that was
his orders. No Americans were TO be
The Washington times., 1920-08-13

This story is being told in New
York, Two Cinnamon. went to q
ball game. Babe Ruth made
home run and the band started
to play How Dry Am" etc. The
Chinks popped up and uncovered
their heads. thinking 1t was the
national anthem.
EDMUND NJ. SULLIVAN.
The Washington times., 1920-08-13
ANOTHER GOOD PUZZLE.

I saw d. c. automobile. num-
Der the other day that interested
me. II the number be divided into
three numbers, the first consist
ing of the first two figures, the
second of the middle figure. and
the last Of the last two figures,
then the second part was one less
than half the first part and the
third part was one less than twice
the first part. The sum Of the
Ave figures was Is. What was
the number?
Yours for the welfare Of 81 and
S nuts,
w. J. SPILLAAN.
The Washington times., 1920-08-13
A!!oAAA THE WASHINGTON TIMES AysYs1 !sao
@E>AEAR1' HsEEnks
By BILL PRICE.
INVITATION AND REILLY.

INVITATION AND REILLY.
Mr.. John Bull
Requests the pleasure Of
Mr.. u. SIS Company
At a Dinner GiUen IN Honor
Of the
Civilization Of Europe.
Mr.. u. s.
Declines for the Reason That
Enropedn Food Does Not
Agree With Him.
At the Last Dinner Party
Suffered Serious Indigestion
IL Was the cause of Much
Trouble at Home.
u. QUIX.
The Washington times., 1920-08-13
WHO'LL HELP CANOEIsTsf

A good many canoeists would like
to see warnings placed over the most
dangerous rocks up the Potomac
Ask any one who has scrapcd few
bad rocks while padding along at
low tide. This is one OF Washing
toms best amusement features and
the pleasure could be greatly en-
HANGED through the suggestion of
warning signs. ALOHAE.
The Washington times., 1920-08-13
A CAKE-EATERs TRICK.

Tho apollo Guards" OF H street.
northeast, have more nerve than any
cake-eaters on Garth. They have crust
enough to wait until the girls pay
their own way into the Apollo movtA
Then they walk in, seat themselves
besides the girls. and later take than
home. Loving doesn't cost a mAa
much under these circumstances.
JUNE.
The Washington times., 1920-08-13
THIS GIRL IS WISE.

Who said there aren't any he.vam-
pires? know one who vamps on
Park Road between Thirteenth and
Fourteenth streets. How he can roll
his eyes. So don't blame the girls.
/ should like to recommend that
some OF these cake eaters sell papers
or do something SO they won't be
broke all the time. All dressed UP.
nothing to do, no place to go, and no
money to spend. l loaned one so
cents yesterday. T. L. u.
The Washington times., 1920-08-13
WHY A HICK PAINTED.

- ess>~ ~@ss'
A hick from a rural retreat
saw a roll-top for the nrst time
while on a visit here. He regain
ed consciousness long enough to
mutter feebly. Il love the cows
and chickens. but. oh. you
calves" Then he tainted again.
Saw a guy go down the river
on a moonlight the other night.
Queer thing about IL was that
his only companion was a copy OF
the Literary Digest. He wins the
handsome georgette overcoAt.
That gink that said shaving was
. harmful and contrary to nature
expressed H. Incidentally he
wasn't a barber. II (hesvy ac-
cent? some OF our lizards could
raise a beard they might look
human despite their clothes.
These paper suits Germany IL
shipping US may be all right over
there, but here IL rains too sud
denly. IL they are worn here l
predict a lot Of unexpected b. v.
ID. advertisements walking around
after a shower. v. s. 8.
The Washington times., 1920-08-13
ANSWERING JOHN c. HALEY.

IL JOHN c. HALEY will place q
minus sign before a whole number he
Will. think obtain less by multiply
Ing with that number. The express
sion. ":0 times less power" could be
stated, 20 times the power. To do
these things we have to enter the
realm OF higher mathematics.
II. Il. ROSSELL. I.
The Washington times., 1920-08-13
THIS WAS IN IRELAND.

Who remembers that serious but
funny episode in Ireland some years
ago when striking bread bakers re-
turned to wsrk beaten by public
opinion? They conceived the devil
ish idea that a little castor oil kneed-
ed in with the dough might teach the
public a lesson. 1T was a piece OF
revenge that drew many a laugh.
The Washington times., 1920-08-13
DO YOU REMEMBER the old

DO YOU REMEMBER the old
vault at the intersection of 22d
and @ streets, right on top OF
the hill, with the name of Brim-
mer on it? Many a night the,
boys would stand or sit on the
coping of the old P street bridge
and look to see if the ghosts
were walking. It's all built up
and filled in now.
W. P. RYAN.
The Washington times., 1920-08-13

I was walking down the street
A friend of mine to meet,
when in front of me a car stops.
Then I see two pairs Of roll-top socks.
That friend of mine waited mighty long
For ! stayed until all the girls were gone.
AL.
The Washington times., 1920-08-13
Would you call a person whe
is nutty over chess a chestnut?
SOUTHEAST BOB.

well" said the skipper. "we're safe
at last On dry land"
That's tough" observed the east
away" as we sailed from the United
States TO get out of dry lani.'
ED
The Washington times., 1920-08-13
A REpHEAD GOT HIM.

Blondes and brunettes, they're all pretty to
But It took a red-hatred vamp to make .
fool of me. ZACH u.
A brunette makes the most success
full vampire. I know. {. II. +.
The Washington times., 1920-08-13

Who knows of a barber in
Washington who doesn't insist
upon doing everything except
cut hair? ]. p. S.
The Washington times., 1920-08-13
THE CAPITOL's STEPS.

Somebod knows let him tell II he dares,
Why the Capitols fortified with all them
stairs,
And I'll eat his hat
IL he'll tell me nat
That the architect that planned 'em
Wasn't short and fat
w. c. c.
The Washington times., 1920-08-13

In sending a correct answer to the
recent mathematical square problem
JOHN ALLAN suggests that IT Will BE-
Interesting to experts to form ons
with numbers from 1 to SO. Try IL
The Washington times., 1920-08-13

Don't Judge a COW by it's express
sion. Don't misjudge a COW by the
butchers II associates with. Unlike
human beings COW doesn't get
better after 1t dies. 1t gets worse.
and when its soul Is on that abat-
toir Weejee board. the butchers
block, a COW is sure one fine high
wayman.
The Washington times., 1920-08-13
ANOTHER EPITAPH.

Here lies the body of William Gordon.
Mouth mighty big, and teeth according.
Stranger. step lightly over his head.
II he opens his mouth, by gosh you're dead.
r. NJ
The Washington times., 1920-08-13

The bird who is always telling
others to work "a hours a day can
he found every afternoon at the
ball game resting up from his
morning game OF golf.
Capt. AMUNDSEN, the. arctic ex-
plorer, may not be a Red. never.
theless he is always after tho
Poles. PAUL WHITE.
The Washington times., 1920-08-13

George ought to know the ponies
pretty we'll by now.
what do you mean?"
well. wasn't he n conductor on q
merry-go-round onccT II. s. G.
The Washington times., 1920-08-13
Will the winter pay whh
SIMMER OD1sP

The summer seasons on fun svay-
"a horsct a horsol For a mug o rudsD
II seems that summers here to stay
(My xingdorn .or a jug o sucs.')
It's gcttin' hotter every day.
The sun shoots down tco-chinE ,av.
NV beevcedee. I've thrown swaT-
'' 7. J. I.
The Washington times., 1920-08-13
owing and living

Loving and living
Are both costing more,
But how can you live without loving
Or love without living?
But I'm to you this giving,
Which would cost the most
II separate and distinct.
One existing and the other extinctf
ALONZO p.
The Washington times., 1920-08-13

None but noble animal would
try to do a hens work.
The Washington times., 1920-08-13

Anybody who has ever scoffed in
a sudden lunch room knows that
the COW gives us chicken croduettes.
The Washington times., 1920-08-13

AND RIGHT away.
THE driver.
OF A large limousine.
TOOK AFTER me.
AND HEADED me off.
AND l ran back.
AND By that time.
I'D RUN downtown.
ABOUT HALF block.
AND SAW an opening.
AND TRIED it.
AND ANOTHER taxi.
BEAT NE 10 IT,.
AND l tried it again.
AND A touring car.
COULD PLAINLY see.
TWAS going to make it.
If 1T didn't hurry.
AND 1T drove me back.
AND altogether.
IRAN block.
IN THE flock of cars.
AND I'VE been thinking.
If I'D been monkey.
ICOULD have made it,
AND WHAT'LL it cost.
FOR A monkey gland.
AND YOU can have my old one.
FOR A taxi driver
THANK you.
The Washington times., 1920-08-13
We TOW NE GOSSIP
III Registered U. s. Patent ofnea
BY X. C.. B.

DIR. SERGE voronoff.
MONKEY GLAND Specialist.
MY DEAR Doctor.
1T MAY interest you.
AND IT may not.
AND MAYBE it's silly.
BUT I'VE just read.
ABOUT YOUR clinic.
OVER IN Chicago.
AND AFTER reading it.
l GOT an idea.
AND l want to tell you.
THAT yesterday:
WAS downtown.
AND WALKING around
AND ALONG about FIVE.
I WAS on Fifth avenue.
AND HAD to cross.
AND WHERE I was.
THERE WAS no policeman.
AND THE cars were stopped.
GOING north and south.
AND | started across.
AND HALF way over.
THE CARS started.
AND THERE I was.
IN FRONT of taxi.
AND l ran.
AND 1T chased me.
AND l started back.
The Washington times., 1920-08-13

TYPEWRITER MUsICMade Quick Time Underwood BY
:. E.. EDGERTON. (Opening Measures of the
Prologue of "PaglaccL")
drawings pictures ought
typsts Washington Fresh black ribbon
should be used
The Washington times., 1920-08-13

Are there any moderate priced
sirloins on a sealskin coat?
The Washington times., 1920-08-13

Are there any economical cuts Of
the koh-i-noor diamond?
The Washington times., 1920-08-13

Are there any cheap round steaks
in a Persian rug?
The Washington times., 1920-08-13

The COW Is natures greatest gift
to man. That is, it's a gift until the
butcher gets hold of IL. The bovine
gives us milk. blue and white. 1t
gives us meat. 1t tries to give us
butter but we get oleomargerine.
The COW also gives us hash, beef
stew, and slumgullion.
The Washington times., 1920-08-13

You've got about as much chance
OF grabbing a cheap attack of in
digestion on a meat diet as Robin
son Crusoe had OF leaving his island
for the week ends. The only way
to save any darby now is to live on
a Mack Sennet scenario diet of pie.
Eat IL with a fork. The Bible says
that he who lives by the knife, shall
perish by the knife. Besides, table
etiquette says it's all wrong.
The Washington times., 1920-08-13

Try and do It. You have about as
much chance as a clay pipe in
shooting gallery.
The Washington times., 1920-08-13

He chirps that by buying economi-
cal cuts of the. bulls wife we can
wipe off the high cost of living
cleaner than Jack Spratt's platter.
The Washington times., 1920-08-13
''Bugs'' Baer
''Be eff

All the dumbbells aren't in gym
nasi Ans. Some bird is puzzing us
that we can reduce the fat cost of
fat by eating the lean. You can
lower the powerful price OF sirloins
by chewing short ribs and briskets.
This cuckoo has drawn a map of a
COW with red. green, cerise, and
heliotropS pins ALL over ii like the
battle maps of the western front.
He's right. It's a battle map.
The Tabor independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1913-19??, 1920-09-16

White rose gas for sale at pump
and by barrel. Tabor Garage.
Flour for sale, at The Farmers
Elevator. Adv,
We pay highest market price for
cream and eggs. Kostel & Co.
We do welding and all kinds of
repairing. Tabor Garage.
Red Crown gas at 80 cts per
gallon al the Tabor Repair Shop.
Paris green for bugs at Tabor
Drug Store, Adv.
BEARD'S wall paper for sale
by FIR. Krause. ADV 5-13
We are now ready to buy wheat
and rye. Bring yours to us. Ia
Dor Milling Co. Phone 25 s ST
Let Petrik & Straka figure on
your lightning rods. The Dodd-
Struthers system. ADV.
Wedding pictures, up-to-date
poses specially at the Tabor Stu
dio. See J. A. Dvorak for ap-
continent.
Piano tuning yoicing and all
kinds Of Piano player and organ
repairing. Write Leonard Krall,
Tsndall, s. D. Adv. y.
The Tabor independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1913-19??, 1920-09-16
A Frightful Accident.

A frightful accident occurred at
|PSndalI Wadnesday night to Ed.
Reyeir, brakeman on the freight
train going east from Platte, when
fell between two cars on the side
track at the mill and both his legs
we're cut of at the groin. The
crew of the train noticed nothing
until thev failed to get signals
from his latern. He was found
by another brakeman. Mullen, and
the unfortunate man asked him if
he was badly cut up. The legs
were completely severed and lay
OIL the outside Of track while the
body Law between the tracks. He
was taken to the the Office of Il
physician and asked for a cigar
ette. lie died three hours later.
His wife arrivedTto Tyndall from
their home in Sioux City few
hours later. The unfortunate
man was about "a years of age
and the theory advanced is that he
must have slipped while on top of
car and fell between.
The Tabor independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1913-19??, 1920-09-16
Chas. B. Fousek and bis wife of

Chas. B. Fousek and bis wife of
DnatA spsnt Sunday. .hsrsa VISITING
at the home of j. A. Wagner.
Mr.. Fousek has bought the con-
Itrolling interest in the Security
Bank of Dante recently and as;
sdmed duties as cashier. Mr..
Fousek Is an able man and surely
will draw the business. Besides
this lie is public speaker of NO
mean ability.
We are in receipt of a volume
entitled The Cechs in America.
written by Thomas Capek, banker
and lawyer Of New York. and pub
lished by Houghton Mifiin Co.,
of New York. The book contains
II complete history of the Czech
(Bohemian) people in America
from the time of Augistin Her
man to the present day: The
book contains 800 pages of read
ing matter and mauy illustrations.
People seeking knowledge about
the Czech people here cannot do
without this fine work of refer
ence., The book can be ordered
direct from the author or the pub
fishing house.
During the past two months we
have noticed wonderful activity on
road south off j. Rezac's farm
as also on the west abutting his
farm. For years there has been
a ,veritable mud puddle on the
grade south of his place. This
has been filled in for several hun
dred feet to a height of four feet
and from now on will be free from
mud. Commissioner Rezac is on
the job all the time and has merit
ed the grAtitudesof the travelling
public--especially those who have
been stuck in the mud in those
places.
/. An Early Start on Sunday.
The. Puritans, like the Jews, OBJ
served the Sabbath beginning with the
evening before.
The Tabor independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1913-19??, 1920-09-16
comedy. Epigrams are also being

comedy. Epigrams are also being
shown the latest inserts from the
largest newspapers. Yosemite is
the next subject on the bill which
is being called The Land of En-
chantment and is taken in The ia
nous Yosemite Valley in Califor-
MIA. Happy Hooligan in a car
tOon comedy is presented for the
kiddies. In connection with all
the above subjects there is being
chOwn American Deer, a nature
reel showing the largest collection
of deer in the country. In closing
the Wonder Show" you will see
a rare treat entitled Jazz" so
there will be something for all.
If you are looking for a better
class of enter rtainment the manage
ment advises all his patrons not to
alss this big novelty of the year.
ADV.
The Tabor independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1913-19??, 1920-09-16
COMING
The Biggest Event in Motion Pictures
of the Season.

The management of the Opera
House announces that they have
secured for Wednesday Sept. p
one of the greatest motion pic
ture events of the season entitled
THE wonder Show of 1920"
THE Wonder Show of 1920"
consists Of seven distinct individ-
ual features, being one of the big
gest attractions that has ever been
shown this year.
Yoo will see a special feature
entitled '"rhe Girl Who Doesn't
Know" starring an all star cast in
a wonderful production. Next
you will see The worlds greatest
commedian in motion pictures,
Charles Chaplin, in a delightful
The Tabor independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1913-19??, 1920-09-16
Today the hunting season open.


See The Eyes Of the World on
page 5.
Homer Beeman is painting the
residence and Office of DIR. Blezek
this week.
Mrs Laura Mach and Mrs. Jos.
Duffek were Yankton visitors
Thursday. L
Miss Filsie Skorpik Of Tyndall
was here Thursday visiting her
sister-in law Mrs. Mary. Skorpik.
Every graduate. Nettlston Com
mercial College, Sioux Falls, is
guaranteed a good position. Get
u catalog.
A show appeared in town Mon
day evening in a small tent.
Those that did not come did; not
lose anything since tue the show
and exhibition was mediocre.
Rey. B. Marek. Mrs. AL. Kalda
and Miss Elsie Rehurek left last
Friday for Ely, Iowa. to attend a
meeting OF the pastors and elders,
ofthe presbyterian denomination.
A dance will be given in the
Opera House, Saturday, Sept. N18,
for which the Martha DeLuca or
chestra Of Yauktonl will furni.Sh
music. A cordial invitation is ex !
tended 70 all to attend. Adv.
Street commissioner Frank Be-
ran put In concrete bridge over
tisecreek below the church this
week. This was badly needed as
the understrneture was caying in
and ths next food would have
swept itIaway.
ars, Mary Jnren of Wagner
and her daughter were here this
week The girl has had her tom
stls removed by DIR. Blezek. lSe-I
veral otlier children also had thA m
removed at his office
The Tabor independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1913-19??, 1920-09-16
Persons having any charges

Persons having any charges
against The recent Golden Jqhille
celebration are requested to pre-
sent their bills Mt once to j. #.
.Kostel or j. A. Dvorak. The
committee is anxious to clean up
The matter at once and make its
.fnal report. ss@
Some fine weather this! IL real
iy is warmer during the entire "a
hours of the day than 10 the
month Of July. And the weather
man is in sore predicsment:
Corn needs dry weather to ripen
firmly, but the fields need rain for
plowing and the pastures also,
A joint debate between WV.
.Howes, Democratic candidate. for
governor and w. H. Nc Master,
Republican candidate, will'be held
at Tyndall, Monday evening, Sep
tember Goth. This will be an inter-
esting debate and every voter. man
and woman ought to hear the state
political issues discussed.
. A joint debate between w. w.
Howes, Democratic candidate for
governor and w II. McMaster, Re
publican candidate, will be held at
Tyndall, Monday evening, Sept.
Goth. This will be All interesting
debate and every voter, man aud
woman ought to bear the state po-
liticai issues discussed. =.
A game Of ball will be phyed
on che local diamond next Sunday
Sept. 10, at 8 o'clock sharp. This
is a return game and promises so
be fast and furious. II bad its
start at Freeman last Sunday
when Tabor deseated Freeman on
teeir home grounds to the tune Of
II to 13. There are those mathe
tnaticians who, claim that figures
l,oD't lie, but in this instance we
,asnot agree with them as so
many runs by both teams are not
,riteeion to claim that it was q
poor game. Contrary, it was a
fine gamer Manager Vellek says
hat this is the last Sunday game
of the season and fans Of both sex
es, big and small Should turn put
and pass the turnpike along with
the mazunaa 1.-The boys need the
money and you get your moneys
worth with interest.
The Tabor independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1913-19??, 1920-09-16
Farmers Special

We wish to announce to the far
mers that we have procured agen-
cy for writing hog insurance.
This insurance will pay you= in
case of loss from any cause. For
rates see Wagner & Szymanski,
.S5f at Tabor STATE Bank.