The herald and news. [volume] (Newberry S.C.) 1903-1937, 1920-12-10

They are deserving people, and you
feel it a duty TO help them along, so
the first thing You know yo'lr mail box
is jammed full Of literature Having
paid for it, you feel that you ought to
read it, aud Your life is ruined thereby.
''When I was young, the magazines
tried to entertain people. They had
good stories and Poets Corner, and
department devoted to timely jokes,
and another to household hints and DO
nestle recipes. There was some se5se
in reading q magazine then. for it
soothed and sustained you But now
adays the magazine editors consider it
their duty to barrow your soul and
make your hair stand On end like
QunIs upon the porllful fretcupine. or
words to that effect, They are always
viewing with alarm, and trying to con-
vince you that you take your life IN
your hand every FIVE minutes.
sThey have lot of health speeiai-
lists writing for them, and these health
sharps point out that pretty near eV-
erytffing you eat and drink is deadly
poison. They didn't scare me to any
great extent. for am most intrepid
man, but they soon had my wife so
ratified she didn't know whether she
was going or coming.
81 always was passionately ford OF
good cup of coffee, and my wife could
make, the best coffee, you ever heard
of. She went te work at it like
learned apothecary compromising q
prescription. There was no guess
work about. it. She took an honest
pride In it, and her coffee was 4 reve-
lation to every consumer. used to lie
awake at night wishing it was break
fast time, so could have my morning
cup of coffee.
'..But. one morning when l went 10
the table the coffee was missing. In
its PLACE there was sickly beyeragel l
had never seen before. asked an eS-
PLANTATION, and my wife said that no
more coffee would be made in cur
house. aThe wonder is,' said she, that
we still live and move and have our be-
ing, for coffee is rank poison. II you
read DIR. Zinkfoogle's article in the
Junkopolltan Magazine, you viii see
that coffee contains large percentage
of tannin, which is so deadly that II
you place a drop on the tongue OF an
r,,sn roll ovor. dead !"
sI told her that I had no allIgators
on the premises, and consequently conia
not try the experiment, but l assured
her that didn't care anything about
the poison. I wanted my coffee at
! regular hours. she said I'd have to
keep on wanting. She Thought too
much of me to send me 20 "a untimeiy
grave. And, anyhow, she explained
DR.. Hinkfoosle had told how to make
substitute for coffee that was perfect
~ wholesome. She had followed his
Instructions, and the result was before
me. Perhaps it didn't taste as good as
/ coffee. but it was wholesome. 1t would
, fill my veins with red cQrpuscles anu
restore hair to my bald head. 1t was
made of marrowfat peas which had
, been carefully roasted in q hot oven.
+; sIn order to get a cup Of coffee after
that I had to make a sneak to the
| chop house, and the kind dished 'up
, there made me old before my time. NY
| wife cut out. all my favorite dishes pc
/, cause DR.. zinkfoogle or some other
magazine writer denounced them, ana
! finally I was living on roasted peas
coffee and boiled spinach, and con-
cluded that if l had.to feed like the
+. cows I'd live like them, so came 10
| the forest Businesses"