The Washington herald., 1920-05-24
PARENTAL VANITY.

The ultimate expression of hu-
man vanity and egotism is the de
sire parents have to make their
children replicas of themselves in
body. mind and soul.
II you want to hand out a choice
It'd bit of nattery to any father and
mother, all that you have to do is
to tell them that their little Johnny
and Mary are their living images.
They simply gulp it down and ask
for more.
Father will puff out his chest.
and beam with Joy as he opines
that he guesses that Johnny is a
chip OF of the old block, and Motn-
er will bride and smile and say
that Mary certainly does look like
her baby pictures.
Yet father may be bald-headed.
and knock-kneed. ano pay-win-
dowed, and homely enough to stop
the clock. and mother one Of the
sandy-haired, freckled-faced, pug
nosed, slab-sided ladies who arc
hard on the eyes. and constitution
ally untitled for the vamp business.
You would think they would sue
any one for libel and defamation
of character who would accuse
their helpless son and innocent lit
tie daughter of even remotely re-
sembling them. and that the least
that the slanderer of defenceless
infants would get of with would
be assault and battery.
But nothing of the kind happens.
Instead of the ugly and malformed
hoping and praying that their chill
dren will look like anybody else on
earth but themselves, they are tick
led to death to have Johnny inherit
their spawned legs, or rabbit-upper
lip. or protruding teeth. and for
Mary to have wished on her invisi-
BILE eyebrowsi and a saleratus bis
cult complexion.
Parental self-conceit even goes a
step farther, and gloats over chill
dren reproducing their very faults
and vices How often you will
hear a father boast, that he can't
control Johnny because Johnny
takes after him in being determined
to have his own way at any cost!
Or mother will say with pride that
Mary has a quick temper just like
she hasi
II the children copy their parents
weaknesses all is forgiven them.
1t is only when they strike out on
original sin lines that father and
mother bring them to book.
1t Is to parental vanity that we
owe the perpetuation of hideous
Christian names, generation after
generation. II father had parents
who were cruel enough to saddle
him with some name that makes
him shudder every time he hears
it.-he doesn't say this outrage
shall go no farther. I'll stop IL
right here. No. He brands his
Oldest son with 1t. and never for
gives his daughter-in-Iaw IL she
refuses to continue the curse on
her first born.
How any man or woman could
aniict a poor little. helpless infant
with their own harsh. hard, ugly,
unmelodious name Just to crafty
their vanity is something that pass
es comprehension.
They do II, however, and no prsb-
lem Is more difficult for a humane
young couple to settle than how to
protect their offspring from being
christened Hepregiah, or Maria, or
Ephrim, or jeremiah without NOR
tally offending grandpa and grand
ma whose egotism demands that
the baby be sacrificed on the altar
OF their vanity.
Il Is paternal self-conceit that Is
responsible for nine tenths of the
friction between fathers and moth
crs and children. Parents are de-
termined that their children shall
have. the same outlook on life, the
same tastes and desires, and ambi-
tons that they have. Unfortun-
ately nature doesn't always run a