The Farmington times. (Farmington, St. Francois County, Mo.) 1905-1926, 1920-07-09
Knocking and
Knockers Here

| ibto 10 du dNOCdIlOi pCtuhdl w a
certain species of the genus homo,
universally known as gentlemen of
leisure. 1t is very numerous class
and infests every community but gen.
orally reaches its highest pinacle in
the towns and cities, while rural COM
munities are not altogether strang-
ers to it, but afford very congenial
soil for its growth and perpetuation.
He or they are omnipresent and close
students and propagandists of the
| doctrine of pessimism. Cold water
powers, if you please. He is an in
dividual Of considerable degree of
congeniality and possesses wonder
full vocabulary and is wonderfully con-
versant with the history Of the COM
munity which he calls his home and
how surprised you are to experience
his unsolicited willingness to open up
his encyclopedia of information to
anyone who is willing to submit him
self to such torture! Tattling is his
side partner and discord is his high
est ideal. What an insinuating bland
fellow he is until he gets his coils we'll
adjusted upon his victim!
He generally begins his harangue
in very subdued tone of voice, SEEM
ingly TO make of his victim a conf
want, very often imposing the injunc-
ton Of absolute silence. He usually
begins his sermon by: Have you seen
John Doe lately? | understand that
he anticipates erecting a factory in
our town. Now, you know he is just
promoter out to catch suckers. You
know, as well as do, that our town
is unsuited to factory purposes Of any
kind, especially the one he proposes.
You see him and tell him the concen-
sus of opinion is that his investment
is, from the very nature of our natu-
raj surroundings, destined to utter
failure and that if you were he you
would abandon such an undefensible
project as you very much dislike to
see him lose money on such an under
taking. To strengthen his argument
he will say: Don't you remember
that a creamery or an overall factory
failed here because of natural disad-
vantages, and | am sure that either
was better adapted to conditions here
than the one you have in prospect.
What happens? John Doe leaves
town to look for more congenial
cline for his Undertaking and Mr..
Knocker swoons off into ecstacies of
delight, exclaiming: Had he only con-
suited me and put up little "kale"
on the sly, things would have been
very different. Perchance an institu-
tion. to care for the unfortunates of
our scdss asnity might be projected in
the minds of the humanitarians of our
community, and an effort made to con-
summate their wish into a reality. 1t
might be an ideal place for such an
institution. 1t may be that the pro-
jectors may wish for the community
to share in its erection and mainte:
nance. The hat is passed around and
the people generally encourage the
enterprise with their voice and means,
but when you shove the hat into the
Knockers face he turns you down
cold-bloodedly. He really becomes Of
Tended. Remember all knockers are
not paupers.) They are bred and
born knockers solely. He may say
that it is a very laudable enterprise
but | just can't help you for reasons
too numerous to mention, but | hope
you will be able to accomplish your
desire; but l --- - just haven't the
"kale" to spare to aid you. Now, if
you will just follow this misft who
has all Of the characteristics of a
man, that is he is biped and stands
erect, you will see, in nine out Of ten
cases, that he never attends church,
contributes not cent to any of it's
auXiliaries, and takes special delight
in abusing many of its truest MEM
bers, not even having a good word for
its pastor. He just revels in his own
selfishness and glories in the fact that
he is not like other men. We have
them right here in Pennington and
they are on their job from early
dawn to the close of day, very often
extending their efforts into the night
time. You know them, not by their
good deeds, not by their good exam
pie, not by their charity, and all
those things that enter into the make
up of true men, men of worth, men of
whom the community is proud, but
just warts and cancers on society
that have very blighting effect. |
They just knock, knock and knock.
Strangers within our gates are not |
to their attacks. Some years
ago a gentleman from our neighbor
State of Illinois visited our city for
a few days, and was enjoying a seat |
one sultry day on a bench in our
court house campus. At this stage of |
the game the knocker began knocking
on himself and the stranger hastily |
made his departure, exclaiming ~
never saw or was in such town and
| would not live in it for half it's
worth" So he soon made his de-
parture and has faithfully kept his
word, by never returning. This doc
trine is not only preached here in our
midst, right within our gates, but is
acclaimed wherever these
pestiferous varmints find themselves.
On an occasion of visit of the chief
est Of the chief Of our Knockers to the
great metropolis of our state, engag-
ed in a conversation with a leading
business man of the metropolis who
mad a favorable impression of our
town and leading townsmen, began to
make inquiries concerning our most
prominent and respected citizens, was,
iguratiyely speaking, about paralyzed
with surprise when his companion,
without reservation. denounced him |