davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-08-28

IaliLQF ri Eazo Herald
THETs a cuckoo over IN Paris
France that claims to OF made the
discovery that the different let
fers il persons name IS what makes
them what they are today.
Tell ne your name and what let
tiers IS IN it and can read your
That's what the bird says. And
then he goes on and says that o
means that the owner has got ambi-
tion and brilliance and is fond OF
luxury and wants to make impress
sion and il he Is q writer his Ian
guage is libel TO be rich
How It's Done.
lie SAYS A stands for harmony,
sentiment, delicacy and style and a
sirl with a a in her name IL libel
10 be tender and refined I shows
pride and r means vigor and S spells
gTit and malice and smartness-
Wen they's no doubt that the guy
is on the right cent and has give the
matter q good deal Of thought put IS
lie the bird that invented this idearf
I VIII tell the world in the negative.
] been looking this problem over for
yrs and probably got into IL deeper
than this wise cracker because. in
the 1st- place I can think faster than
a Frenchmau even II 1 talk a whole
lot slower, but I wasn't going TO give
the discovery TO the world till I had
it down Pat and Mike. but now that
this here Frog has pilt the original
idear i looks like I couldn't afford 70
wait no longer but better tell the re-
suits Of my researches before this
poilu hops in and cops all the credit.
What Lardner Knows.
Well then in the LIST. place I spent
the last IS yrs studying the charac-
Ter OF people that has got a 3 in their
name and found the following, male
and female. A male with E in their
name IS almost sure to have whiskers
when they get to be around 20 yrs
old The Whiskers may be dark or
light. according TO the hair but II
they don't shave every once in
vile their whiskers viii become con-
spicus. Their teeth needs cleaning
every Few mornings and it wouldn't
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-08-28

Dear Miss Fairfax:
I love a tlird cousin Of mine,
but she does not love me. To
forget her left my country town
without letting her know my
whereabouts.
One day while strolling in a
park I met my cousin and her
mother They begged ne TO re-
turn home, as my parents were
heartbroken; also they told ne to
put out OF ny mind the love for
my cousin I answered that time
and distance are the best doctors.
and therefore begged them TO
leave ne 20 my fate
Do you believe that viii, with
time, forget my cousin2 Do you
believe IL possible for me to live
in the same village where my
cousin hves2 Friendless.
Time and distance may be cures
for love but wouldn't you think bet.
ter Of yourself II you fought oui
your own battle without trustring q
such aids2 And why make you
parents do tbs suffering IN you
5iacs2 Co home and put up q fight
.e make life come your way instead
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-08-28

Dear Miss Fairfax.
A few weeks ago I was intro
duced 10 a young man who has
taken me out several times When
we are out together this man
tells me that he loves me very
much and cares for me more than
any Of the other girls.
When there is a crowd OF
friends together he seems 10 ig-
more me, and during the evening
he viii speak very little TO ne.
do love this man and 7 feel
that he loves me. Do you think
By his actions that he cares for
me2 Heartbroken.
His actions do not indicate any
devotion on this mans part-unless
le is 50 shy that he's afraid TO show
lis feelings when there are people
bout But I'm generally a bit sus-
,icious OF a man who talks a lot
-bout his feelings when he's alone
With a girl and ignores her when
here are folks around. You see, he
nay be the sort to turn flirtatiously
o any other girl, or he may be very
much afraid OF committing himself
)efOre witnesses.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-08-28
Simple Course In Character
Reading Outlined By Lardner

they should ought to keep away from
/ all pests houses that makes a special
/ ty Of catering to small pox- patients
and leopards as they are prone TO
! catch 1 OF the other.
When a boy that boasts Of z in
their name gets to be IA or Is yrs.
old they would better put on long
/ trousers as their legs looks funny
without them. It is also well to send
these boys to school and take SPELL
I ing. They need pairs Of shoes a
VI. and should ought TO have their
finger nails trimmed every so often
Their voice IS libel to change from
q high soprano to d baritone or tenor
between the age Of u and II yrs
They hate TO wash their ears and
neck When they take sick they gen
orally always better have a doctor.
Better BE Prepared.
When a z man reachs maturity or
say 25 or 26 yrs. old, either him or
his parents better see that he has
got at lease 2 collars so that II !
gets kind OF soiled he can take II OF
and put on the other /, as theys
nothing that looks quite as bad as q
young man with a E in their name
going around without no collar OF
with a collar that looks IKE It had
went to the neck too often. They
should also either have q bow tie
OF a in hand
You will almost generally find that
q
E in their name likes beer STEAK,
though they may have different
idears about II and some Of them
likes il rare and medium and vel
done and etc. In conclusion, In re-
cards TO the males with a 2 In their
name. viii ask the world II they,s
anybody that hasn't got one outside
OF Thos. Woodrow Wilson and even
at that il you stick the word Presi-
dent ahead Of 1t, why he is inst like
all the rest Of US.
ssIEr Girls Prone To Murry.
Now in regards to the girls OF the
opposing sex with a z in their name
I have found out after yrs. Of study
that the big majority OF women with
this letter in their name gets married
between the age OF ls and q. Lney
are always worried about how their
hair looks, though nobody else cares
nothing about Il. They wear q much
smaller shoe than the z man. but
they wear a whole lot more OF them
Most Of them don't play golf as good
as Z man They are q whole lot
more libel TO break down and CRY II
things goes wrong. The most OF
them hates TO see Z man throw
cigar ashes on the nTeing room
floor. II q woman has children its
pretty near a safe bet that she viii
mink they are cute. A E woman
most generally always orders the
Erocerys but won't pay the bills.
with ssUs In Your Name.
Now in regards to a man with a Q
in their name. Most Of them was
christened with the sir name Gus and
won't stand for no other, where as
you take a female with a o and you
VIII find the large majority Of them
Is Ruth or Ruby. People with a Q
in their name IS likely to get hungry
every 5 or days and want something
10 eat. They most generally wear
either stockings or sox- They are
libel to be sentimental and when
somebody asks them to mary them
they viii eithe say yes or no.
7 have got a whole lot more infor-
nations about the different letters
IN the alphabet and will give them in
a later essay but IN the mean vile
don't let this Frog think that he has
beat me 70 the subject.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-08-28
AdVice To The LoveIorn
CHOOSE BETWEEN TIN
By BEATRICE FAIRFAX.

CHOOSE BETWEEN THEM.
Dear Miss Fairfax:
have been going out with a
fellow for two years and he in
troduced me to his best friend.
It was almost love at first sight
between his best friend and my
self. Do you think IL right for
me to go out with his best friend
when the fellow IS as good as
engaged to met 1t has caused
many a fight between these two
devoted friends. What shall
do7 Gussie G.
Choose between the two men Be
honest about It. Then no one car
blame you, and the friendship which
might break through your indecision
can resume operations. All that's
needed is for you 70 conquer your
having two men quarrel over your
charming society.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-08-28
@T-RIENDs OF my infinite dreams
Little enough endureHT
Little hoFTe'er IL seems,
II f. yOurss All yourH-

- - a---a - arN-Aa
aFaith hath a fleetinF breath,
Hopes may be fran but fond,
But Love shall be Love till death,
And perhaps beyond
THOSE lines make 4 poem called
''The Gift" It was written by a
man named Arthur Benson It ex-
presses marvelously well the exquisite
quality OF love as known by an IDEAL
ist. Love would give everything, and
yet Of It's gifts, what endures2
The rich man presents his beloved
with jewels. a town house and a
county house. rope OF pearls, gold
enough to buy whatever she desires
whatever. even, she fancies. The poor
man looks on and aches with longing
to give as much to the woman he
loves
Perhaps he is giving more, though
he does not know II. But perhaps
while he Is giving more-and here
is the possibility for tragedy-the
woman who is lowered with gifts
other than pearls and gold does not
know II and longs in bitterness for
the things which seem TO glorious to
her.
We all long for love. for under
standing, for companiOnship-and
when they are offered to US. are we
brave enough to take them? Are
poverty and struggle too much for
us-or viii We embrace them gladly
for loves sake2
The other day I heard a fine man
speaking OF his little cottage.
IT'S just a house" he said, shame
facedly, showing the picture OF the
little place 10 q woman who has
everything"
And with a note Of ache. Of long
Ing that was actually terrible In her
smooth, cultivated, well bred voice
she cried:
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-08-28

Dear Miss Fairfax.
] have a sister OF eighteen
who keeps company with young
man who seems very nice and
seems to love her very much. Ny
mother does not like him for an
only reason. and that is that he
goes home at twelve o'clock or
later. which my mother says is
not the proper time, as it is al
together too late. I am sixteen,
and do not keep any young man
later than half-past ten. which i
my mother says is the proper
time. Ny sister and I have a
great many quarrels over this
and she VIII always call me an
old maid, and we are going TO
leave you to settle It.
An Anxious Sister.
It's your mother who should settle
this-not L She should decide on a
time beyond which her daughter Is
not to entertain callers. And your
sister must report her mothers ideas
on the subject to her callers Anyone
who doesn't want to abide by the
rules Of the house" and show respect
for your mothers wishes. isn't a
friend worth having. Midnight is
too late.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-08-28

Miss Laura Clay. one OF the women
delegates to the Democratic national
convention, who received one vote for
the Democratic presidential nomina-
ton, was the first woman TO receive
such an honor in the conventions OF
either OF he two great political par
ties
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-08-28

Dear Miss Fairfax
I am dearly in love with a girl
one year my junior I admire and
adore her. Ny feelings. have been
expressed in deeds but not in
words. On the other hand, this
dear little girl. in a certain sense.
shows me that she cares for me
also I've been invited TO her
home several times, have met her
folks, brothers and sisters. They
all seem to appreciate my COM
pany- But the thing is she acts
the same way towards most OF
the boys. So this puts me in
doubt as TO her seriousness. What
shall I do2 I wouldn't care to
tell her OF my feelings as she
might take advantage. 7 believe
my actions say enough.
Harold
Don't be too proud 10 speak. Why
mould the girl show a preference fol
/ man who thinks SO much more Of
lis own dignity than OF her that he
Won't tell her Of his feelings2 Either
rou love her-or you love yourself
It's up to you to know which-and
o show which. But you'll have 70
.ome out and say what you mean.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-08-28
BIZ Lima Ca0alieri
The Most Famous Living Beauty

compIexion-that viii be nothing less
than a marvel 70 all your luxury loy-
ing friends.
When the day is over. do not be
content with wen doing, but take
another walk just before retiring.
You viii feel better in every way by
the end Of the summer, but the best
Of all viii be the fact that you have
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-08-28

even hurt them TO WELD the tooth
brush over their bicuspids about
every third evening or So When
people with a z in their name picks
up a paper or a magazine or a book,
they always read 1t right side up and
from left TO right You won't never
see a E man lying on their stomach
with q book parked on their heels
trying to read II
party with a E in their name Is
libel to have collie and Group when
they are babys and later on in life
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-08-28

really lost instead OF piling On more
undesirable weight Your eyes viii
be brighter and your brain clearer
1t IS the fresh out q door ztE that
makes the difference No amount OF
indoor exercises. 10 matter how ex-
cel1eut IN themselves. can give the
benefit. OF take the place OF activity
in the open air
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-08-28
YOU ARE CORRECT.


Dear Miss Fairfax:
would like your opinion on
the following question, over a
little conversation overheard
the other day: A woman was ex-
pressing her opinion Of what she
thought OF a young fellow Of 1s
or 20 who never went out with a
girl
To quote her words che was a
sissy a big boob and a fellow
with no spine or backbone, or
something too contemptibie 10
have anything to do WITH
1Iy opinion is that no age Is too
young or too old 20 90 with a
girl, provided that the person can
find some decent and respectable
girl TO 80 with and not running
around with every skirt" on the
avenue Constant Reader
Your opinion seems to me 10 b.
correct Il is absurd TO call = boy
names because he has not found girls
1 necessary part Of his life. The
chances are that he's a fine fellow
Interested in working and making
Iomething OF himself
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-08-28

OF running away from it. There's
more than your idea OF happiness
at stake. There's your character
your chance 70 make a real man OF
yourself. II you were a bit stronger
you could hope TO win whatever YOU
want from life.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-08-28

ILongls Island aug ID
Copyright. 1890. BY the Bell syndi-
cate, Inc.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-08-28

faith hath q GeettnF breath,
Hopes may be fran but fond,
But Love shall he Love tin death,
And nerhnna hevnnd..,
Alma record., 1920-01-01
GOES WITHOUT WATER
Where Battery Has a Camel Beat
Several Ways.

Mine days witsout a drink is moth
ing to a storage battery" says the
local Willard expert. I've seen bat
teries go thirsty two or three times
as long as that"
"But the wise man who makes a
point of giving his battery a drink
of distilled water every time it needs
it, to keep the level one-half inch
above the top of the plates, will be
served with better lights and quicker
start and longer run. There are
not many things that battery needs
in the way of care, but distilled water
is one Of few necessities.-adv
Alma record., 1920-01-01
"wATCHFUL WAITING"

Twas the day before Christmas and
all through the land
Not railroad was stirring; the
public be damned"
Smote harder than ever those patient
travellers
Who are ever dependent upon red
tape unravelers.
To Alma's fine CD station in the
brisk morning air
We'd hurried in hopes the Ann
Arbor'd be there.
Well-we waited and waited one Of
a large throng
And not an Ann A. or r. Nj. came
along.
Round about three, down the after
noon breeze
There drifted to us from afar faint
wheeze.
Then a ring g-boned and spawned iron
horse shuffled by
And we clambered aboard while hope
anew lit our eye.
Now forward, now backward, now
sidetracked, now stalling. .
But why bore you to death with a
story so calling.
The railroads go back March 1st so
they say,
They couldn't be worsel But Better?
They may.
X. ID. r.
Alma record., 1920-01-01
ANNUAL MEETING

The annual meeting of the stock
holders of the Alma Savings e. Loan
Association will be held at the Office
of the Secretary over Chicks Shoe
Store. Alma, Mich, on Monday even
ing, January IL, 1920, at 1880 o'clock
for the purpose of electing directors,
and such other business as may prop
erly come before the meeting.
At this meeting will be considered
the recommendation of the Directors
to increase the capital stock of the
association to sl,OOO,0O0 and to in
crease the number Of directors to
twelve.
Dated Dec. "a, 1919. 27-2-c
d. L. Johnson, Secretary.
Alma record., 1920-01-01
opprp or PUBLICATION.

STATE OF MICHIGAN-The Circuit Court
for the County of Gratiot, in Chancery.
Edgar M. Wood. plaintiff, VS. Alice M.
whitsel and her unknown heirs, devisees,
logatees and assigns, defendants
Suit pending in the Circuit Court for the
County Of GratOt a1S GhSnesry' & at at Ithass in
1919. Edward j. Moinet. Circuit Judge, at
Chambers
In this cause. it appearing to the satisfac-
tion of the Court, after reading the plaintiff :
verified Bill of Compliant, filed therein that
the Is filed under and pursuant to the
terms. conditions and requirements of Sec
tions 20 10 % inclusive. Chapter XII Of the
Judcature Act of 1915. as amended. and that
il involves the title TO the lands described as
follows:
Commencing s rods and 7is fee South and
ll% rods east of the northwest corner of the
northeast quarter of the southwest quarter
of Section thirty-four. township twelve north.
range three west Michigan; and running
thence south 24O feet thence east rods
thence north 240 feet thence west rods to
place of beginning.
And il further appearing 70 the satisfac-
ton Of the Court, that the names, where
sbouts, residences or addresses of the persons
who are included as unknown defendants in
this said cause can not be ascertained. and
that according to the best information 20 be
had the said Alice NJ. Whitsell is deceased.
now therefore, on motion of James c. Krcss
attorney for the plaintiff. IL Is ordered that
said defendants enter their appearance in
said cause on or before three months from
days said plaintiff a copy of this or
der TO be published In the Alma Record, a
newspaper printed and circulated in said
county of Gratiot. once in each week for six
weeks IN SUCCESSION, and that in case Of the
appearance OF any one or more Of said de-
PENDANTS. that they their answer 10
plaintiffs bill of complaint 10 be filed, and
copy served upon plaintiffs attorney within
fifteen days after a copy Of plaintiffs aaid
bill Of complaint is served on such defendant
EDWARD J. MONET.
Countersigned; Circuit JUDGE.
r. l.. CASE, Clerk.
TAKE NOTICE-Thst the above suit ,
wolves the title 20 the land described - "a
lows: toi
Commencing rods and 7ik f.
ii& rods east Of the NV CO. q south AM
of SW ". Sec. %. Town =: OF the NE
West, Michigan. runpS AZ Norm. Range
feet thence east .ng thence south ~
feet thence ws' rods thence north "a
ming. 8 rods 10 place OF begin
JAMES G.. KRESS,
~ Attorney for Plaintiff,
Buginess Address Alma. Michigan
b.. (i2-25 to 2-5)
Alma record., 1920-01-01
ADVERTISED LETTERS

Il
The following letters remain at this
ofiiee uncalled for and if not delivered
will be sent to the dead letter office
on January IL, 1920:
Bischoff, John NJ.
Crownover, William, Jr.
Durga, Mrs. Philena
Furgeson, Mr.. Charles
Flack, Mr.. j. l..
Flynn, Miss Florence
Falconer, Mrs. Fred
Gregory, Chas.
Hole, Mrs. II. L.
Manning, A. G..
Newcomb, Ronald
Owens, Mr.. w. r.
Platt, Kie
Rogers, L. A.
Rountree, Clifford
Smith, Mr.. Frank f.
Scott, Mr.. Forest
Shute, Mrs. Bertha
Sanar, Mr. r. T.
Seva, Mr.. Lou
Tooley, Mr.. Bert
Ulco, Sr. Jesus (2)
Veles, Mr.. Nelson
Wright, Mrs. Matilda
Ypinger, Mr.. Frank
thinner, Mrs. Bertha
V. p. Cash, Postmaster.
Alma record., 1920-01-01

FOR SALE-Dougherty farm. 800
acres ,l2 miles north of Mt. Pleas
ant and AZ miles south of Clare.
Said to be the finest improved farm
in State Of Michigan. Good con-
servative stock men say this farm
will make $4,000 per year clear
profit with sixty cows. Owner is
nonresident and wants to make
quick sale at only $4,000 per acre.
Will sell half interest to good stock
and dairy man with $4,000 cash
and give easy terms on balance.
Will make reasonable terms on en-
tire farm. Address Howard l.. Hy-
att, Rooms 28-31, Swope block,
Terre Haute, Indiana. 26-3-c
Alma record., 1920-01-01
To the Dyspeptic

Would you not like to feel that
your stomach troubles are over, that
you can eat any kind of food that you
crave? Consider then the fact that
Chamberlain's Tablets have cured
others--why not you. There are many
who have been restored to health by
taking these tablets and can now eat
any kind of food that they crave.
Alma record., 1920-01-01
LEGAL NOTICES

STATE OF MICHIGAN County of Gratio'
ss.
Notice is hereby given that the final &C.
count Of Joseph Frank Jackson. the admin
i-trator of the Estate of William Constable
late of Gratiot county. Michigan. deceased
will be examined and. If found correct. nj
lowed by me at the Probate Office in the
village of Ithaca. in said County, on Monday
the 18th day Of January next. at ten O'Clock
a m. of said day.
Dated Ithaca December 18th, 1918.
J. LEE POTTS. Judge of Probate,
1925 10 l-i5b
Alma record., 1920-01-01
FOR sALE-MIscHLLANEoUs

FOR SALE-Twenty-five good
Shropshire ewes also one good COW
fresh soon. j. G.. Glow K. 2, Alma,
Mich, phone CSC r. 3. 27-2-p
Alma record., 1920-01-01
FOR sALE-CITY PROPERTY
FOR sALE-FARM PROPERTY

FOR SALE-Or will exchange for
desirable town property, 40 acres
of land, VIZ of NJ of SWA of
Sec. 3, Pine River township, 5M
miles north of the Episcopal church
in Alma, good house and barn, silo,
two wells. All cleared and tiled
with lightning rods on buildings.
Will sell cheap if taken at once.
Inquire Of II. A. MacLaren, 3I0
w. Superior street. 23-tf-c
Alma record., 1920-01-01

FOR SALE-Two fresh COWS. Inquire
Of Bert Kitteridge, one and one
half miles south, one-half mile west
of st. Louis. 27-1-p
Alma record., 1920-01-01

't23h Hours Lesver - Idlehcuf.
Subday,--adv.
Alma record., 1920-01-01

FOR SALE-Gas range, as good as
new. Inquire at 312 Prospect St.,
Alma. 28-1-p
Alma record., 1920-01-01

Having sold his
ohaf mile north
Alma record., 1920-01-01

FOR SALE-192O Ford sedan, new,
extra tire, adjustable steering
wheel. Sexton Fraker Sales Co.,
Breckenridge, Mich. 2S-l-p
The Holbrook news., 1920-04-23
HONOR CLAIMED BY WELSH
Writer Asserts Natives of That coun- try Were the First White
 People in America.

In an amazingly interesting old book, published by the author, John Williams. Vale street, Denbigh, Wales, in 1856. entitled "Ancient and Modern Denbigh,' there appears the following rare bit of information:
 sIn A. D. 1169, Madogap Owen Gwynedd, and his followers, are said to have left the Vale of Clwyd Gin North. Wales), and to have reached America 300 years before Columbus discovered that vast continent Re turning, next year, they took many more with them, and are said to have founded a tribe of Welsh American In- dians."
 England had been conquered by the NOrInans in the previous century, and the sons of the great barons William the Conqueror had brought with him from France were taking possession by force of the conquered kingdom, as they could. They were not always successful in their little individual wars, and good many Saxon earls and squires held their own against them. Especially did the Normans have bad time trying to oust the ancient Britons from their property in Wales. It was not until 1283 that Da- Ivid, last king of the old British empire, was defeated, and King Arthur's royal crown was taken by the Norman-Eng- fish, as was the Welsh relic "croes- enydd' made of the true cross and in- closed in gold and silver, embossed with jewels by St. Helena, the British princess through whom it may be said that the Norman-English became Christian.
 The author fails to quote the docu- mentary evidence of the discovery of America by the Welsh.