The Washington herald., 1920-10-13
MOTHER JEALOUSY.


/ have received a letter from a
man who writes:
When ! was a small child my
father died, leaving my mother with
a helpless babe and no money. BY
almost incredible labor and self
sacrifice she brought me up de-
Gently. gave me a sood education,
and enabled me TO get a fair start
in the world. have tried to be a
good son to her, and thus far have
devoted my life to her.
But, now / am 40 years old, 7
want to marry. / want a home Of
my home, want a wife's love and
companionship, and the feel of lit
tie children's arms around my neck
For five years ! have been engaged
to one of the sweetest and nobles-
women in the world, but my mother
will not hes- OF my marrying
When j speak OF it, she almost goes
mad. She weeps, and tells me that
will break her heart. and reminds
me of all the Sacrifices she has
made for me and implores me never
to marry while she is alive.
II cannot endure the thought Of
hurting my mother, yet must
choose between doing that and
wounding the woman / love and
who loves me, for l cannot ask her
to wait indefinitely on the wkim Of
a Jealous mother. Ny mother is
only SO years old and in perfect
health, and will live for many years
trust, so IL ! defer marriage until
her death ! put it of for ever. for
shall myself be then too old to
think of such a thing
What shall do? Has nv moth
er the right to exact the sacrifice
Of my life as the price Of her care
Of me when l was a child?"
No A thousand times no, Chill
drtn owe much to their parents, but
not thousandth part OF the duty
that parents owe to their children.
None of US asks to be born, and
when our parents thrust life upon
US they are morally bound to do
every possible thing they can to
make it tolerable for US There
are plenty OF selfish and self-cen-
tered mothers like this one, who
are willing to wreck their children's
happiness in order to crafty their
own morbid Jealousy and their
sons and daughters do a wrong
and foolish thing in giving in to
them.
A woman who is not willing for
her son Of 80 TO marry a nice girl
is a meglomsniaC, and should be
dealt with gently but firmly. as one
who is not quite sane and incap-
able of judging clearly Of the ma
ture of her acts There is some
thing even abnormal in her aTec-
tion for her son that makes hel
want to isolate him from the reg
ular life Of man. 1t is a love that
is stranEIing. bliGhiing. suffoestIng
and unhealthy. instead OF whole
some mother love.
Every woman who is in her right
senses knows that flIaI love can
not take the place OF romantic love,
and that no matter how devoted a
son may be to his mother. or how
necessary she is TO his happiness.
the feeling he has for her does not
prevent him from yearning 70 find
his mate
Also the woman knows. from her
own experience, that the love one
has for ones mother. and the love
one bears ones husband or wife are
not antagonistiC. because they are
no more alike than day and night
or fire and water. They are entire
ly different passions. springinE
from different emotions. and so the
jealousy between mother and wife.
or mother and husband is the most
senseless waste OF emotion in the
world
To ask which one loves the bet
ter. ones wife or husband or
mother. is as futile as TO ask
whether one prefers roast beef or
ice cream. Indeed. instead OF
wife or husband supersedinG their
mothers in their affections, most
men and women love their mothers
better after they are married than
they did before, because they real
ize the more all their mothers have
done for them. and so appreciate
them more.
And any woman who has the
courage to look facts square in the
face. knows that while her child
may be the one person Of absorbing
interest in the universe TO her, her
compsnionship is not enough for
her child. She can sit entrsnced
for hours listening TO her son tell
every little detail OF his daily life,