davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-03-27
LUKE M'LUkE SAYS

It makes fat man mad to see a slim man wearing a coat with the waist up under his shoulder blades.
 This Stuff business is going the limit. The other day we saw a woman who had a perfectly good Adams apple.
 Few men realize that they have had enough until they discover that they have had too much.
 A pessimist gets sore if a letter does not contain check. An opti- mist is glad that it doesn't contain a bill.
 We have only two complaints to make about summer. It prompts a girl to display her dirty elbows and it prompts man to display his manly bosom by wearing a sport shirt.
 The wife will carry the baby, the satchel, the umbrella and the coat while the husband carries his cigar. And then we call them the weaker sex.
 A couple of years of married life will change girl from a live wire into something that resembles dead fish.
 We may be wrong. But we believe that girl who is raised to believe in the stork will make just as good a wife as the girl who takes a course in sex education.
 Every time we see male pansy wearing high-heeled shoes we won der if he ever gets Jacobs ladders in his stockings.
 Somehow or other. nobody seems to see anything funny in the fact that the harness-maker and the buggy manufacturer both drive their own au- tomobiles.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-03-27
WHY IRISH HATE THE aCAsTLEv

From the Manchester Guardian.
 There might be made out for Dublin castle very good case as the most un- fortunate building of it's kind in the world. It's very inception was ill-omened, for coercion" was in at it's foundation. in 1205 King John commanded his deputy in Ireland to commend also our citizens of Dublin that they strengthen their city, and that you compel them thereunto if they should prove refractory''-a form ,of commentators which has become very familiar in Ireland. He went on to ordain the building of castle, ito be raised in competent place. as well to curb the city as to defend it.'
 Little of the old castle remains now. The gate towers were pulled down in the eighteenth century; the old Birming- ham tower was shattered by a gun-pow- der explosion. and was pulled down about the same time. What remains has been described, aptly enough, as Ian incon- gruous mass of architecture, upon the whole, unpicturesque, unsightly and un- symmetrical" Nowadays, when people talk of the castle" they think, not of the miserable huddle of buildings, but of the offices centered there.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-03-27
ELLEN TERRY AT 72

From the New York Telegram VI
 It seems like yesterday that Du Maurier took line from Shakespeare and applied it to Ellen Terry, when he said the great acrtss was just as high as a mans heart." And yet here is Ellen Terry 72 years old, and Du Maurier is gone, and new faces and new methods are previl- ing on the stage and in literature.
 Lots of people today, on their way to a matinee, would not be able to place the name of Terry unless as the. first name of a prize fighter who used to exist somewhere in the dark ages.
 But there are others, blessed with mem ories that help to make up for years that have slipped noiseiessly away-and they remember Ellen Terry when she was just as high as the playgoer's heart. They are glad she is no more than 72, which, after ali, is mere middle age.
 Lots of her former slaves-thousands of them-are older than that. And when FL len Terry's birthday pictures are printed in the papers they gather in little knots and groups and grow as histrionically reminiscent as they please.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-03-27

ing in the big city for those who know
 their way about-and who does not att
 least pretend that he does
 Experienced hotel men say, however,
 that drinks have nothing to do with the crowds and they are probably right The best explanation is that the old motto of Economy is no longer hung upon| American walls. High wages and high prices have combined to banish it. Prices, it is said are so high at home that the folks consider it just as reason- able to come to New York and spend al few dollars more for something differ e,G u costs so much fo. : ghdn hat
 mother and the girls might just as we'll
 have silk and go to the city to show it. However that may be, the crowds are
 here and show every indication of staying
 here in ever-increas.ng. even though eyer- changing numbers.
 1 The great housing problem is not local aad they seem to be so used ;n a lack of acccmmoGaticns at home that there is li.tie hardship in sleeping in cot when they come to the city. Every theatre in the city is packed to the doors; the res- taurants are doing d i-.onster business :: the. streets arc packed to the curos with pedestrians ard to the sidewalks with ve- hicles.
 As one hotel man said: The world may be going to the dogs. but the peo- pie seem tc be havrss m -3c,y fine t,mc
 waile they are on the way"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-03-27
THE MYSTERY OF GILGAL

By John Hay. The darkest. strangest mystery I ever read, or heern, or see. Is long of drink at Taggart's hall Tom Taggart't of Gilgal I've heern the tale thousand ways, But never could git through the maze
 That hangs around that queer days
 doin's; But I'll tell the yarn to youans. Tom Taggart stood behind his bar, The time was fall. the skies was far: The neighbors round the counter drawed And calmly drinlsed and jawed. At last came Colonel Blood of Pike. And old Jedge Phinn. permiscus-like, And each. as he meandered in, Remarked. "A whisky skin" Tom mixed the beverage full and far, And slammed it, smoking, on the bar. Some says three fingers. some says two I'll leave the choice to you. Phinn to the drink put forth his hand: Blood dfawed his knife. with accent
 bland, T ax yer pardins. MT. Phinn-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-03-27

he had sworn allegiance. As re- suit, when he tried to take his seat in Congress, the House busted him. He had no claims on the sympathy of any patriotic member of Congress.
 There may be kinder feeling to- ward Newberry, for politicians have way of standing together, but to keep the record straight, to be fair and consistent and above all things, to prevent soap-box orators from gaining new inspiration for their harangues, Newberry should be served by the Senate as Berger was by the House. Neither is fit to be a
 ~f
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-03-27

About the only resemblance between Senator Hitchcock and Mir. Bryan is the fact that they both call Nebraska home
 If Russia's bolsheviki are not as atro- cious as the camera makes them appear. they have score to settle with press photographers
 The Pullman Company wishes to raise sleeping car fares. In the general up ward trend an advance of approximately 20. per cent would hardly be noticed. The outcome of the Newberry case was a rude jolt to the old-fashioned politician who thinks the only way to get an office is to buy it.
 The eighth dipping vat has just been dynamited at Brookwood, Tuscaloosa county. And yet we send missionaries to the heathenl
 # # #
 It is the proud boast of Senator Hard ing, Ohio presidential candidate, that he began his career as a publisher with 200 pounds of type. If the peace treaty is not dead, but sleeping. that still leaves Senator Lodge under suspicion of having bottle of chloroform in his possession.
 # # F
 Senator Borah's bill to prohibit presi- dential candidates from spending more than s1o0oo for campaign purposes would make our leading politicians pikers.
 # # #
 Shoe men are to educate the public to higher-priced shoes A postgraduate course?
 As we understand it, the revival of sports this year does not include ping pong.
 Surely there was nothing the matter with the navy's personnel after the "yeo- ettes' joined up"
 F x q
 Considering its limited opportunities for growth before the war, the German pro letariat is making great headway.
 x + +
 The dependable flivver is doing it's part to make this campaign year one of the liveliest on record.
 + # #
 German morals seem to be at an even lower ebb than the German mark, which is state of depravity sad to see.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-03-27

From the Pittsburg Dispatch.
 G1HF. cc,aerence of commiss oners of
 e7rcation of nine eastern states
 9 several months ago, which brought before the country for the first time in compact form the statistics reflective of conditions in the public schools, is to be closing of schools is still the foremost problem in the nine Atlantic states and another consultation has been called, with an expectation that some remedy not yet pr esented may be discovered through dis cussion. Dr. John H. Finley, New York state commissioner of education, has in- vited commissioners from the other states to meet with him and come prepared with facts that will be given thorough analysis. Dr. Finley's judgmentsis that low wages is only one of the many causes for the shortage in the teaching equip ment, but what the other influences are is not stated, though fair inference may be gathered from the character of the information he has asked the other com missioners to bring to the consultation. He wants exact figures on the extent of the shortage in teachers. a statement of wkat has been done and is being cone to meet it. wfdl percentage of tte school expense is borne by the state and what proportion oy communities.
 Whether the commissioners and others ir authority believe that low salaries is only one of many causes for the unfor- tunate breakdown in popular education does not change the fact that to the teachers tl,at is the determiiiinf factor. And while that remains the proposed cam paign of sloganstic campaigning, with 'Teachercide" as a war cry, will avail little in bringing new blood from nor nal schools and colleges into the rooms of the public schools. To attempt to hyp- notixe young men and women into the schools under existing conditions is folly. The resignations of 145,0oo teachers in the current school year is the answer that should be given closer consideration than it is apparently receiving. It is up to
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-03-27
compiiments D. F. Elmore

Friends of Ben r. Elmore of De- mopolis in all parts of the state are showing great interest in his race for associate justice of the court of ap- peaIs." said J. Kirk Jackson, vice pres- dent of the American Trust and Savings Bank
 T have known him for a great many years and have enjoyed his friendship all that time. He served as solicitor in his circuit for a long time and that work brought him into close touch with the various counties embraced in the circuit. He has also been active in the political life of the state in a way which has brought him into contact with leaders from the Tennessee river to the gulf. He is a high type of man and is the kind that Alabama is proud to have in her public offices.
 While he may not be so widely known in the northern end of the state as he is in middle and south Alabama, he is the sort that makes friends rap idly and the campaign he is now mak- ing in the northern part of the state am sure will make him many fol- lowers"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-03-27
Jest drap that whisky skin."

Jest drap that whisky skim
 No man high-toneder could be found Than old Jedge Phinn the country round. Says he. Young man. the tribe of Phinns Knows their own whisky skins." He went for his 'leven-inch bowie knife II tries to foller a Christian life;
 But I'll drap a slice of liver or twos My bloomin' shrub. with yu."
 They carved in way that all admifed, Tell Blood drawed iron at last and fired. It took Seth Bludso twist the eyes. Which caused him great surprise.
 Then coats went off and all went in: ShctR and bad language swelled the din: The short, sharp bark of Derringers. Like bull pups, cheered the furse. They piled the stiffs outside the door: They made, l reckon, a. cord or more Girls went that winter. as a rule, Alone to spellin' school
 I've searched in vain from Dan to Beer sheba to make this mystery clear; But end with hit as did boGiD- w ho got the whisky s1inr'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-03-27
WILL SUPPORT UNDERWOOD -lnnl the Shaffield sta ,,a, !. s-d

From the Sheffield StanGard.
 Already the dictator of the politics of the prohibitionists of Alabama has Sent out an $. o. $. call and every means, fair and unfair, will be used to defeat Underwood. Interruptions as has been demonstrated in past primary races, this se,f-appointed leader proposes to. pick J candidate for the Senate. Realizing the futility of defeating Underwood with the two candidates in the field against the senator call went forth to prohibition ists to urge one of the two candidates to withdraw. It now appears that the es- fort to remove Judge Weakley-which was the real purpose of the boss-has failed and the next move will be to line up 'thc faithful for Musgrove, How ever, the majority of the conservative rIcbibitionists will support Underwood. for they realize that prohibition. as a political issue in this state is dead; the paid superintendent does not admit this. for by such admission he would be shcrn of his salary and his dictatership. The patriotic citizens of this section of Alabama are going to support Underwood because they realize his worth to the na- ton and the state
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-03-27
IN HOTEL LOBB1ES
 AND ELSEWHERE
Our Heritage


 Anyone can, and usually does, love their home town" said John Henley yesterday, "but there is something even stronger than that which Birmingham commands:
 Respect
 'T never walk along the streets of this city without feeling just little bit humble in the presence of such worth and power that God, through man, has given us "As deeply as I love this virile city that gives me my daily bread, even more deeply do I respect it. It repre- sents mans God-given achievements through all the ages. All that the centuries have accomplished through toll and thought and development are represented here. No matter where we look. we see the materialized best thoughts of the worlds great con- structive minds
 "All that metropolis can offer that is worth while. Birmingham has.
 And in return, this mother city of ours asks but one thing:
 Clean citizenship"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-03-27
SECRETARY BAKERS INCOME TA,

From the New York World.
 Perhaps the joke is on Secretary Ba- ker for paying $4S0 more income tax than was due, but to various millions of perplexed taxpayers it will appear to be grim joke at best When a cabinet officer, a lawyer himself and with all the legal resources of the gov ernment at his command. cannot get his income tax straight. what hope is there for the plain citizen? How it the vast majority of income tax pay CTS to solve the intricate puzzle of making a correct return
 The Secretary is lucky, of course, to be caught cheating himself and not the treasury The department of justice cannot move to have him sent to jail, and a republican Congress is denied the opportunity of denouncing the corrup- tion of a democratic administration. But how many perfectly honest citi- zens the country over have purposely given the government the benefit of the doubt and paid a larger income tax than was required rather than run the risk of mistake to their own advan- tage?
 Perhaps it is impossible to simplify the phraseology of the income tax blanks to point where it will be com prehensible by the ordinary intelli- gence. But at least Congress could make it less obscure and not leave the preparation of returns as much game of chance as it now is.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-03-27
SOME BLOND.

From the Iowa Falls Sentinel
 Talk of Aphrodite rising from the sea; dream of Helen of Troy; think of all ene beautiful women of history whose blonde dresses have altered the course of civil ization or figured in the mythology of old think of the most perfect blonde ever visualized by dramatst, novelist or are- ist-and they are all beaten to fraxzle after one glimpse of Miss -. the blonde beauty of "E--,'' con,iqg to the Metropolitan Wednesday night. Favored darling of the gods. gifted with such unusual beauty as comes once in generation to some fickie maid as . Rift from heaven, this girl certainly attracts much attention.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-03-27
Thomas M. Owens Death
 Will Be Deeply Felt

1E EW men had contributed so much N in quiet way to the develop ment of Alabamas cultural life as Thomas M. Owen, who passed away Thursday night at his home in Mont gomery at the age of fifty-four.
 HeNhad been successful lawyer in his early manhood, but taking lively interest in the history of the state, as he did, he worked with enthusiasm to establish department of history and archives.
 This important branch of the state government was created in 1901. Mir. Owen was chosen it's first director and had filled that position with sig nal ability until the time of his death.
 He had passion for history. He entered upon his duties with singu- lar activity and during his admins tration of the department had pub lished several historical books and brochures of marked interest to the south.
 His department was thoroughly in- dexed, and it is safe to assume that no historical library in the United States was in more perfect order. Nothing relating to Alabama's an- nals escaped his attention, and he could readily turn to any episode in the states history.
 MT. Owen had been engaged for several years upon a complete history of Alabama and biographical dic- tionary of the state. He was la borious worker. and had spent much time in assembling his voluminous material.
 The volumes were to be handsome ly illustrated and he had hoped to have the manuscript in the hands of the printer within the present year. This splendid work must not be lost to Alabama. It should be carried for ward as speedily as possible. Mrs. Owen had beep co-laborer with her husband, and as she is woman of literary attainments, she will be espe- cially we'll equipped to finish chapters that were not quite ready for the press.
 A fitting memorial must be erected to Thomas M. Owen. He loved Ala bama, and the people of Alabama held him in loving esteem.
 $ x x
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-03-27
NEWSPAPER PUBLISHERS ONLY

From the Chicago Tribune.
 When the wrappers are taken off the rolls in your pressroom, how much news paper is destroyed?
 When the core of used roll is taken off the press, how much paper is still on the core?
 Is any of your paper damaged in Hle pressroom? If SO, how much?
 What percentage of paper run through your presses remains unsold. due e1sner to unsound circulation methods, to over prints or to bad printing?
 Do you notify your min of the exact quantity and nature of paper damaged in transit?
 Publishers who have not Investigated these questions thoroughly will be rsraid in doing SO.
 Ten per cent at least of the newspaper manufactured never enters circulation The average newspaper publisher wastes more than 10 per cent of his newspaper supply.
 And yet the newspapers have only been asked to reduce their consumption 10 per cent.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-03-27
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES

citizen.
 'Footloose, eh2'
 ''No, indeed. I have to stay rather close to the telephone"
 SMALL TOWN DIvERsIo-. "Are there no forward-looking people in this town?" asked the stranger with q mission.
 Yep" replied the village postmaster. "I guess we've got dozen or so" Where are they to be found?'' They are down at the depot right now waitin' for tn 4:1o accommodation to roll in.''
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-03-27
STIRRING EXPERIENCE.

Where's Scribson?'
 "He went into the mountain districts to get some local color for his next novel; Did he find what he was looking for?" T should say sol He was mistaken for federal enforcement officer and in forty-eight hours he absorbed enough local color to last him a lifetime"
 LODGING AN INTERVIEW. "Is indiscretion the better part of valorT''
 Invariably, when dealing with a dele gation of suffragists,'' said Senator snortsworthy. "Manys the time I've beaten a strategic retreat while my ha- rassed secretary was trying to explain to several determined looking females that half an hours absence from my of ficial duties might wreck the ship of state"
 NO OTHER EXAMPLES.
 The circus side-show is to remain, hear.'
 That will be good news to the kind of people who like to ask an unfortunate human being how it feels to be ossi- fed"
 True, and incidentally he's the only person nowadays in position to answer such question"
 LONG DISTANCE CONTROL. 50 your wife's away?7
 For two weeks" said the hen-pecked
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-03-27
THE SPEECH PRoyED IT

From the Montgomery Advertiser.
 Hon. Breck Musgrove, although can didate for the Senate for the past year, will make his first speech Thursday night in Birmingham. The Murgrove candidacy must be in desperate condition if the Walker county coal baron is driven to trying to make speech.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-03-27
~ sts F Japanese Liners Will Touch at New Orleans

INAUGURATION of Hong-kong J to Havana service by way of San Francisco and New Orleans will mark a new epoch in the development of southern ports.
 A Japanese line, Toy Kishen Kali sha, will operate a fleet of eight thou sand eight hundred deadweight ton steamers, which will be added to from time to time as business increases. Arrival of the steamer Koyo Maru at San Francisco, due tomorrow, will open the new service.
 Recognition of New Orleans as a world port by Japanese steamship company is gratifying, although the south has long believed that southern ports were logical contenders for g great deal of the commerce that for merly went to eastern ports.
 In the past few years New Or leans has developed wonderfully. Its port facilities, thanks to improved railroad terminals and the govern ment's great warehouses, are now On a huge scale and make New Orleans what it should have been years ago, one of the best equipped shipping centers in the world.
 Along with the growth of New Dr. leans, Mobile, Galveston and Pensa- cola have made conspicuous progress. Mobile has entered upon an era of expansion which will mean much to Alabama and the south.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-03-27
Home Again

Since the removal of The Alabama Baptist back to Birmingham from Montgomery, where it was published when the denomination took it over" said Dr. Leslie Gwaltney," the pub fishing committee has decided to add a book department to the paper.
 'The Sunday school board at Nash vile, Tenn. which has charge of the publication work of the Southern Bap- lists, will cooperate to make it a success
 Tt will give the Baptists of the state depository where they can get denominational literature. It is but forward step and in keeping with the policies of the denominationally} owned journals in the other states"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-03-27
Unusual Jury

An unusual incident developed in one Of the branches of the criminal court re- cently," said c. l.. Bailes, assistant city attorney.
 : A woman was charged with disorderly conduct, in that she was charged to have used abusive language.
 "In the mass of city cases, nearly 100, the case, after the hearing was concluded, and it had gone to the jury, had slipped the minds of the attorneys, when, to their surprise. there apepared a few days later a jury with verdict. It called for a fine of cent. Costs in the case amount ec to s19O5. and for this sum the jurors took up a collection among themselves and paid the fine and costs"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-03-27
RONE-DRY

From the Detroit Free Press.
 A. Conan Doyle may be wrong in prom ising that there will be beer in heaven. but it is certain there will be none in the other placs.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-03-27
SAVING THE SCHOOLS

the school authorities of all sta es to re- move the causes that forced li5,e00 teach CTS away rom their chosen life work in q single year If the job has grown too large they should make candid acknowl twill guarantee success, and bring teach- CTS to suspended schools.