The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1920-01-30

To the Editor OcaIa Banner:
| am incIosing you fac smile of
a letter written to Governor Broward
in 1909 which may amuse some of
your readers.
Very truly.
|, A SUBSCRIBER.
Dear Mister Guvnor-I take this op
portunity to drap you a few lines to
let you know | don't like the way
things air going on in your office up
there in Tallahassee. You have a
man named Crume setting there fool
In with penshuns, an he hasn't sent
me my penshun yet. How does he ex-
pect me to attend the reunion in
Tampa? Does he expect me to walk
there? An my shoes done worn out
an my j'ints stiff. No, he don't
care a confound, just so he can set up
there and chaw good terbacker Now,
want you to give him a good cussin'
and hire; another man that will send
me my penshun. | want you before
shun, for it's none of his'n.
| was in town t'other day, and saw
some of the old fellers that fit right
by my side, an they's all got their
| penshuns-cep me. | fit them Yam
| KEGS all over Pennsylvania, Merrylan' ,
old Virginia, and come mighty nigh
going to the back side of Georgia to
! fight 'em, an l haven't got no pen
shun An there's Cousin Sallie Hoot-
err done got bern, an old lady Dillon
got her'n, an neither one of them TT
nary Yankee yet.
Now, don't want you to let that
man Crume settin' there in your OF
flee pay any penshun to any woman
that did not fight Yankees until all the
men who fit the Yankees gets their'n.
An then if there is any money left
give it to them.
Now, I'm goin' to tell you how that
same Cousin Sallie Hooter treated
ME an my wife, Polly. When Cousin
Sallie tuck the meazles me an my
wife went to see her an carried her
some 'taters an some greans, an we
set up with her, an l got Polly to
cook Cousin Sallie pie, an we tuck
it there, an when we offered it to her
she just shuck her head. Then I told
Polly to go an cook her some grits
for she was a dear lover of grits. But
when they were handed her nary a
grit would she eat. Then the mex
day she begins to set up and says she
was right smart, an ct a 'tater an
fritter an drunk cup of coffee. Now,
after a while Cousin Sallie gets well
of them meaZles, an Polly was tuck
down with them came meazles, done
cotch em from Cousin Sallie, an Pol
w Law there, an Cousin Sallie never
come to see Polly until Polly diedT
Then she come, an made out she was
pow'ful sorry. Now, if you or any
other man has a wife who has the
meazles an dies it will make you shed
some of the same kind Of teers you
shed when you went to the war.
don't care a confound who knows
shed teers when Polly died, for
tho't then an 1 think yet that she
could cook the best greans that | ever
ct. After that, no longer than last
spring, Cousin Sallie come to me an
says: Cousin Bill" l says: WHAT"
An she says, 81 wants you to take
that Old Blaze creeter of your'n an
pillow in near to akers of oats for
me-" l says, "Bein' you are cousin
of mine / will plow them oats in for
70 cents per day an board for me an
Old Blaze" Well, plowed them oats
in. After l got done, in two or three
days she come to me agin an says:
Il wants you to take Old Blaze an
cut a scraggly bush an brush them
oats over Says I: "Bein' you are
a cousin of mine | will give them
same oats brushing" l tuck a big
brush, hitched Old Blaze to it an
dragged them same oats in. When
finished dragging them oats over
drivup to the house an stopped Old
Blaze right under the kitchen win
dow. Just as stopped Old Blaze an
tho't l would emty the san out of my
Sunday shoes, black gal that was
there messing up things in the kitch-
en- for Cousin Sallie, flung a dishpan
of hot water out of the window plum
on the old creeters back. Well, Old
Blaze reared and kicked with both of
her hind feet an reared and pitched
an run, an drug the brush over the
big washpot where old Aunt Jinney
Timmons was bilin' cloes, turned the
pot over an split all the bilin' cloes,
an drug them undnr fhp hrucb thn