Iron County news. [volume] (Hurley, Wis.) 1913-1950, 1920-12-25

household. with a charming bride to
pour the imitation coffee, and a vine
| and figtree in a jardiniere, ia send a
special delivery letter to James, ask
ing him to come and stay for ten years
I or more
There's something restful and
soothing about that gifted man, He
| never bothers anybody. No one has
| TO waste precious moments entertain
ing him. 1t isn't necessary to discuss
the weather predictions, or dig up
lot of statistics about the crops. in
order to make james have a good time.
| You don't have to show him the old
| plush photograph album, and describe
! the ancestry of the melancholy efIigies
whose pictures appear therein. Near
~ all visitors are bores, my dear Mrs.
| Jiggers because they have to be Ell
tertained. Somebody has to sit up
with them and thrash out last years
gossip. They have no initiative or
referendum. They have no resources
of their own. In order to have a pleas
ant visit, they need help
your cousin James is a man after
my own heart. l remember his last
visit quite We'll. He came in the eve
ming, and after supper he took a chair
| on The porch. Knowing he was a
guest, l felt it my duty to entertain
him in the conventional way.
dragged my chair close up to his and
remarked that it was a pleasant eve
ming, but the presence of a cloud bank
in the northwest almost convinced me
that there would be rain within twelve
hours, in which case, proceeded,
there would be much jubilatiOn among
the honest old farmers, whose crops
were suffering for moisture.
James listened to my remarks and
then looked at me, in a sad, reproach-
full way, as though he thought it a
shameful thing that imbeciles should
be at large. and then he took his chair
to the opposite end of the porch with
out having said word. l must con-
TESS that felt like a counterfeit
kOpeck for a few minutes, but the
more I considered the matter, the
more I admired and respected that
remarkable man.
He used to go downtown every
morning and buy a paper backed
novel, or a fiction magazine, and then
he'd read it all day. and when he was
done with his literature he left it
where the bOarders could get it. l
didn't hear him say ten words during
his visit. yet you say, Mrs. Jiggers,
that he is an unsatisfactory guest.
Elderly landladies, whose intellects
have been warped by long years of
parsimony. are hard TO please.
Jeremiah, whom you describe as
jolly and agreeable, should he sup
pressed. He has collected all the old
cheesey stories ever manufactured,
and insists upon telling them. He has
a horrible habit of making puns. and
cause of it. You couldn't bride him to
sit down with a book or magazine and
behave himself. He has TO be enter
tanned every minute of his time. and
the only way you can entertain him
is by letting him do the entertaining.
"He is a genial old freak who thinks
he is privileged character, and every
body's pet. The last time he was here
he went into my sumptuous apart
ment and used my razor to shave the
southeast quarter section Of his
cOuntenance His whiSkers are fun
of barbed wire, and the razor was
ruined. When I spoke to him about
it he thought it funny. Yet you refer
to such man as an agreeable visi-
tor. blush for you. Mrs. Jiggers."