The Butler weekly times and the Bates County record. (Butler, Mo.) 1918-1950, 1920-05-13

Scotland has the thistle
England-the rose.
I'm from the Isle
Where the shamrock grows.
Texas has the sand tick
Missouri has the "chiggers'
But Kansas is the derndest place
l ever SAVIOR niggerS,
When it was first said that wo.
man was goin' to put on pants Ct beg
pardon) | mean overalls | thought
it only joke. But it seems such
is not the case. They actually aim
to put 'enl on. l have no comment to
make. | am speeches.. | am dunn
founded. l am flabbergasted.
OVERALLS
Some girls are witty-and
Some girls are peterborough
To inhabit a haven
But girls who are nice
Will think more than twice
Before they decide to wear 'er.
got onto street car t'other day
and guess the conductor took me
for hill billie for when | asked him
which end of the line the car ran to
he snapped out both ends" Quite
So, l SEE. Can you tell me on
which end we are now?' He glared
at ME and SAID, the other end" ".Ah
seq !, yen arc quite clever, amt YOU
Perhaps" SEE |, you can tell me
why you are going to look like
locomotive pretty soon ii you try to
act smart with me-" How is that"
ne growled. why says | with an
smile) you are goin' t. be
lraggin tender behind.
Asked to name the chief cause of
most disastrous fires nowadays
that l thought the most |
prolific cause was-inSurancc.
"Jim.' said a person to me t'other
lay, you seem to be pretty we'll in
ormed on most subjects, can you
ell me the significance of the red
tripe on BARRIERS pole?" Shore"
avs l, cts like this. In early days
he manipulation of razzer was also
quack doctor or surgeon as we'll as
butcher q beg pardon, I meant
arber) and in those days the great
anacea for all ills was bleedin' or
lood lettin'. Hence the red stripe
il: To inform tlae-pt+biiic- that here
,as the place to be Cor get) bled."
But why continue the use of the
ign" he asked. WELL" l replied,
S l turned away from there, "a bar
err shop is a mighty good place IN
,hich to be (or to get) bled till
lumb yet. =
l was walkin' along the street one
ay when two sweet young things +.
a-sed me and one said to the other,
Miss sang solo at church )
'day." Did the other ask what ..
ong? She did not. She asked if she
ore new dress and did she have
n new hat.
About the only difference between
tendin' youraown funeral and NOV /
. away from the old home town is
lat in the first mentioned episode
~ can't see your friends weepin'. :,
In the Isle of man the wedding "
ng was formerly used as an instru- r
ent of torture. In this country the
arriage certificate is still used for h
at -urpose-er what?
One swallow QOn make spring, Il
n make us drunk. No, nor does a b
ir of greasy overalls and a monkey ii
rench make mechanic and yet? r.
Recently at Sunday meetin' dear
Jung thing attempted q use the ii
ord attempted advisedly) a solo. o.
le Gas well as the audience) lived II
rough it. As I was goin' out of 10
e church a person said to me, II
t sorry for Miss She q
.med sufferin' so from fright" ca
es," l replied, "but did you notice h;
audience? 1t, too, was sufferin' ht
/ opine from a desire to commit til
rider rather than from fright. ce
In closin' I want to thank our
my friends who erpressed a hope DC
meet US again. We will miss you We
low much I dare not think. Your 90
rs will be ever before us-the IN
mory of you and your kindly ID
atment of % will rest as Z gentle pr
lediction on Us. Our very best %
hes fo- ~ou and yours shall fol-
: Won always and e you journey i'm
may you find more sweet than tn
ter and more sunshine than viz
dow and when Gomez the end sal
= Won have 00s fear nor~. ne9rets Hat