davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Crittenden press., 1920-05-07
LOYDS BRAIN LEAKS

Joe Guess says there may be a
better way OF cooling coffee than
the old method OF pouring II into
saucer, but science has not dis
covered II.
Charley Byrd says that man is
= strange animal, We know lots OF
fellows who voted dry who would
walk ten miles for a shot.
John Warren Travis saws that
when wife begins to sit around
and wonder why she didn't marry
a man who understood her som.
lawyer is going to make a little
jack.
Carl Oakley said PA what Ia
light reading matter?" Electric
signs my SON"
Byrd Guess says that he cannot
understand why young folks want
TO 30 up In an aeroplane to get
married when they can stay on earth
and fall out quick enough.
The Crittenden press., 1920-05-07

LEVIAS.

Mesdames Mary and Dean Frank
lin. Line Davidson and Antonia
Price spent Saturday the guests OF
Mrs. Lawson Franklin.
Miss Naoma Norris was In Levias
shopping Saturday.
Mr.. Lucian LaRue. wife and
daughter. Mrs. Fleta Hurley OF
Sheridan were guests OF relatives
here last Friday.
Miss Sallie Sullenger was out
taking the school census Thursday
Homer Settles and family were
the week end guests OF his parents
Mr.. and Mrs. J. l.. Settles.
Mrs. Eddie Belt and daughter,
Emma drove over from their home
near Pleasant Grove last Saturday
and were accompanied home by Mr.
and Mrs. Jack Aldridge.
The Crittenden press., 1920-05-07
PINEY FORK

Miss Emma Boswell spent the
week end the guest OF Miss Susie
Ethridge.
Miss Ora and Geneva Andrews
and Lillian Tackwell went to Fre-
6onia one day last week.
day last week the guest OF Mrs
Emma Handy.
Mr.. c. b Collins was in Ma.
rion one day last week on business
Rev. G. T. Boucher went to
Belle Mines last Saturday and Sun
day
Mr. Buck James has his new
store which he is building looking
fine.
Mr.. Grayson Hill is on the sick
list ...,... '
Mr. James Cameron was at Burk
Orders one day last week.
The Crittenden press., 1920-05-07

WANTED Man with team or au-
TO, who can give bond to sell l37
Watkins home and farm products.
Biggest concern OF kind in world
1900 to $4,000 yearly income. Ter
ritory in this county open Write
today J. r. Watkins Co Dept. ll2
WinOna Minn. 37i
The Crittenden press., 1920-05-07

See W. +. Belt IL you want to
sell your farm. 3stf
The Washington herald., 1920-09-21
D. G. RESERVES
PLAN CRUISE
Forty Naval Reserve Mem
bers to Go to Norfolk
Saturday.

Forty members of the Naval Re-
serve Force here will make a cruise
on the Potomac River as far as
Norfolk Naval Base over Saturday
and Sunday on Subchaser 2-l0, as
signed to their use by the Navy De-
partment, according to plans laid
by the heads of the local reserve
force yesterday.
The reserve sailors will leave tho
Seventh street wharf at 3 o'clock
Saturday afternoon and arrive IN
Norfolk some time late that night
or early Sunday morning. They
will be the guests of the officials
at the base during Sunday morning
and afternoon, The subchaser's
bow will be turned toward WASH
ington late Sunday afternoon and
will land the men at Washington
that night.
The cruise will be commanded by
Lieut.. r. W. Chambers. During the
trip the meals will be cooked by
four cooks from the regular navy.
Applications for the cruise will be
taken at meetings held in the ar
mory at Seventh street wharf to-
night and tomorrow night.
1t was stated by the reserve Of
fieers that should the number Of
men applying warrant it, the Navy
Department will assign two more
chasers to Washington at a later
date, giving this city a fleet of
three ships.
The Washington herald., 1920-09-21
URGEFREQUENT
CLERK CHANGES
Methods Employed by Re.
classification Commis-
sion Explained.

The methods employed by the
members of the Reclassification
Commission were told the Scientific
and Technical Engineers who MET
last night in the Public Library, by
DR.. Charles E. Mosher of the bu-
reau of Municipal Research of New
York City and DR.. ]. Franklin
Meyer, chief physicist of the Bu-
reau of Standards.
DR.. Mosher was a member of the
Redistribution Commission.
DR.. Mosher told the society that
the commission visited s5 CONNER
cial concerns throughout the coun-
try and asked each 40 questions.
He said it was found there were
5000 positions. held by scientific
and technical men in the CONNER
cial and industrial world compar-
able to positions held by the men
in the Government service.
DR.. Mosher told the members that
more important than the question
OF salary was the system set up by
the bill to make frequent reclassi-
hcations. This permits the promo
ton of a man as his qualifications
warrant.
The Washington herald., 1920-09-21
COXSLIGHTED
IN SAN DIEGO
California Seaside Fails to
Enthuse Over Plea for
World League.
BY ROBERT T. BARRY.

Copyright, 1870, by Public Ledger CO..
Los Angeles. Cal. Sept. 2O-Gov.
Cox battleds today against a stub
born apathy in Southern California.
He found people in San Diego so in
different to the Presidential con-
test that he tried by personal
contact with them to win votes that
ordinarily are cast for Republican
candidates, but which appeared
likely of not being cast at all this
year. He undertook to put pep in
to the shell of a Democratic or
ganization. He received the some
what lett handed compliment that
the average person in this section
knew little or nothing about either
candidate.
The Republican rank and file
cares little for Senator Harding
but cares less for a Democrat.
Gov. Cox fought the fight of the
league of nations in his speeches
today. He linked it with his effort
to appear as the candidate of
progress. in the campaign. Placing
opposition to the league as part
of the Republican candidates whole
tendency toward reactionary poll
cies and principles, he scored the
of this section, they be-
ing almost solidly Republican, for
their alleged misrepresentations Of
the major facts about the covenant.
He declared they had printed only
one side of the question.
The Washington herald., 1920-09-21

are the outstanding features Of
was presented last night at the Fiji
teenta street playhouse.
One will go a long way and hear
lot Of monologists. before they find
one which can equal the patter of
Ben Bernie. Ben has a pleasing
personality and original quips.
which one does not often hear IN
vaudeville, and proves he can play
the, violin.
Karyl Norman as the Creole Fash
ion Plate comes back to Washington
for the second time in six months
as one of the headlfners and while
it is return bill the act Is new and
varied. Norman appears dressed as
stage beauty and sings in a queer
plaintive voice which while having
all the quantity and quality OF a
woman's singing carries with il a
haunting tune which few can ever
hope 10 equal. To those who have
never seen him before it is a dis
tinct surprise when he takes off his
wig.
The bill opens with Betty Martin
and Phillip Moore in a wire act of
some unusual qualities but which
lacks sufficient punch to get over"
big.
William Ebs, a wouId-be ventril-
oquIst. appears second on the bin
with youngster from real life who
does the ventriloquist work to per-
fection. At the end of the act Ebs
leaves and let's the youngster run
out after him and take all the ap-
plause-after he has fooled several
thousand people for some ten
minutes.
Moonlight" with Marie Holly
and cast OF several persons might
well be left out of the bill. entirely
for all the interest it excites in a
bored audience. Marie Holly lacks
the stage personality to get away
with the light fiirt role she essays
in "vamping" youth and age alike.
Irving and Jack Kaufman, billed
as phonograph singers. who have
The Washington herald., 1920-09-21
REPORT D. c. HORSES
NGOOD HEALTH

Horses used by the District gov
ernment are in quite, good health,
thank you. c. B. Robinson, Dis
trict veterinarian, in his annual re-
port yesterday said the general
health of the animals was good
during the last fiscal year.
The District government had 7O3
horses and mules in service on June
80 last. A year previous to that
date the city government had 6S1
animals. One hundred and twelve
animals were purchased during the
past fiscal year, forty-eight animals
werel sold, sixteen were killed. be-
cause of unfitnsss for further serv-
ice and twenty-six died from nat
ural causes.
The Washington herald., 1920-09-21
2OOATITALY
FREEDOM FETE
Prominent D. c. Italians
\ Attend 50th Anniversary
Of Country S Uni6cation.

More than 200 of Washington's
Fnost prominent Italian bushes
men crowded the temple Of the
knights OF Pythias. 1913 Ninth
street northwest, last night attend
ing exercises. celebrating, the fftIeth
anniversary of the unihcation of
lItaIy.
Anthony Caminetti, Commissioner
General Of Immigration, and Ter
ience V. Powderly. chief clerk of
the Department of Labor, were the
guests of honor of Lodge Cavallottf,
No. II, Order Of the sons Of Italy,
under whose auspices the meeting
was held.
Commi Caminetti and Pow
derly delivered short addresses, out-
lining Italy's work in the great
var and the justification of her
The Washington herald., 1920-09-21
Citizens Federation Com
mittee and Producers
. Confer.
PROBE. NOT EXPECTED
However, High Infant Nor.
tallty In Any Section May
Cause Investigation.

Washington milk prices for the
coming winter will be discussed to-
night at the District Building when
the representatives of the Fedora
tion of Citizens Associations meet
representatives of the milk pro-
ducers of Maryland and Virginia in
conference.
Several members of the committee
state that there will be no probe
made by them. They say, however.
that should a very high rate of
infant mortality in any section Of
the city supplied by any one pro-
Queer be apparent. an investigation
will follow.
Mny Probe "Outside- MIX.
w. B. Westlake. a member of the
committee representing the fedora
ton, said last night: The average
milk supply of Washington is con-
sidered high grade. but il milk of
a totally inferior grade is being
shipped here from New York and
New Jersey. or any other point, for
commercial purposes and is being
resold by any dealer as the best
grade of milk, the matter is going
to be aired TO the fullest extent" !"
2 Mathew E. O'Brien. who viii rep
resent one of the local citizens as
sociations as a member OF its com;
mittee, summed up the investigation
as a plan to look out for the well
fare OF the citizens of Washington
rather than the welfare OF milk
producers.
While the conference was re
quested by the producers primarily
for the purpose of determining a
fair price for milk in the District,
WestIake stated last night that ef-
forts are to be made to secure evI-
dence as to the quality of the milk
being supplied throughout the en-
tye city.
Fowler Merely Spectator.
DR.. Fowler stated when asked of
the office he would have in the
conference. that inasmuch as the
Federation of Citizens Associations
has appointed a committee to con-
fer with the committee Of the
Maryland and Virginia milk pro-
ducers with the view OF fixing the
price of milk for the coming win
ter the health officer feels that he
should leave the matter entirely in
their hands at the present time.
Citizens may attend as well as
the delegates, it was announced.
The Washington herald., 1920-09-21
Three Wise Fooi.-N.tion.l.

Back in the pleiocene period of
our high school days vaudevillians
used to sing a ballad titled, THE
Lobster is the Wise Guy After ALL"
After waiting for a decade or so to
see the statement proven either
categorically, geometrically or dra-
maticaIy, we saw its truth brought
home last night in the Three Wise
Fools"
When a wistful-eyed girl comes
in from the darkness of the streets
and says that she is the daughter
of the fiame of sheir youth, the magi
of Washington Square, numbering
Judge Trumbull, DIR. Gaunt and
Theodore Findley, financier, forget
that they are New Yorkers and take
her into their. home and hearts
without discrimination clinic or
financial rating. To these three old
men she is the reincarnation of the
lost love of their young days. Into
their lives of "gruesome regularity"
she brings a breeze of spring. Be-
fore she came, the absence of
Johnny cakes from the breakfast
table or the misplacing of a pair
of bedroom slippers was a catas-
trophe. Before she has been with
them a month, they miss directors
meetings with nonchalance rather
than pass up a. flower show which
their adopted daughter would just
love to see." /.
But such a pink paradise created
in the first act cannot last in n
play. Just as everything is going
too beautifully for. words, entefs
JGnmy, the Duck" a pistol in one
hand, flash light in the other and
r-r-revenge in his heart. He strikes
down the aged and devoted butler
and threatens to do likewise to the
young lady who proves to be an
old acquaintance of his. She blows
a police whistle and then helps him
to escape through the skylight. 1t
is proven that she helped The
Duck" to make his getaway and
her three guardians cast her off.
But her innocence is established
triumphantly by young Gordon
Schuyler, nephew of Findley, who
believes in her when everyone else
falls away. Il have looked into
her eyes and l know she is inno-
cent" says Gordon. Later he pro-
duces more convincing evidence and
the three wise fools, their new
their paradise all over again.
From its long New York run,
Three Wise Fools comes with al.
the assuredness of metropolitan sue
cess. 1t has no rough edges. And
il it is a bit overdrawn and senti-
mental, the faults are -orgivable
and forgotten in its wholesome
comedy and we'll sustained interest.
1t combines a fine flavor of old
fashioned chivalry and the brisk
action of modern drama.
| Standing well above the rest of
the characterizations is Claude Gil
| Theodore Findley whose hard
boiled" quality is all on the out
side Harry Davenport gives d
good picture of the gently whimsi-
cal but acid-witted DR.. Gaunt and
the same can be said for Howard
Gould's delineation of the fine, Sc
rene Judge Trumbull-
Hazel Sexton is pleasing in the
rather exacting role of the adopted
daughter and Donald Fosters boy
! ishness goes well with the char
acter of Gordon Schuyler. The rest
| of the cast does uniform good work
although Wallace Fortune is espe-
| cially fortunate in the part of
Jimmy, the Duck"
NJ. L. II.
Kejth's-yaudevilIe.
Ben Bernie and the Creole FASH
ion Plate" with the Asahi Troupe
The Washington herald., 1920-09-21
VETERANS OF DIXIE
TO GATHER IN TEXAS

Confederate veterans and their
families will gather at Houston,
Tex, October ,5. for their annual
reunion. according to announcement
made yesterday. Last year the re-
union was held at Atlanta, Ga.
The gathering will last from
October 8 TO 8, and will open with a
meeting Of the Confederate Memorial
Association In the city auditorium.
Business sessions viii be held
through tho last day. when the CON
yention will close with day parade
and grand ball that night.
The Washington herald., 1920-09-21
HARDING DEMOCRATIC
CLUB TO HOLD RALLY

Its membership growing daily
and two new local branches started,
the Harding Democratic Club will
hold another rally tomorrow night
at sol Z street northwest, at s
o'clock.
William E. Ryan, of Rochester.
n. Y, a lifelong Democrat, will be
the principal speaker of the even
ing. Among the local men who will
address the meeting are Edwin A.
Moores and P. J. Ryan.
The Washington herald., 1920-09-21
Where IS Money
For Trip to Moon,
Professor Asks

Worcester, Mass, Sept 20.-It
takes money to make a trip to
the. moon.
Prof. Robert H. GODDARD, of
Clark University. today declared.
he would make a public demon
stration within a month with a
small working model of his
rocket, which he claims by the
principle of successive charges
will travel to the moon. But he
confesses being cramped for
necessary money to complete
the experiment
The Smithsonian Institute
backed me for $4,000. but that
is practically exhausted on
models" he said. :.hnd I really
do not know where to look for
the greater sum to make a def
mite trip to the moon"
The Washington herald., 1920-09-21
Ghost of Marie
:Antoinette Again
Stalks in France
CBy Universal Service.)

Paris, Sept. 2O.-Coincident with
the presidential crisis, the ghost Of
Marie Antoipette. which has not
been seen since 1911. when France
was in danger of war with Ger
many, due to the Agadir crisis. is
said to be stalking in Versailles
Park, soaring the villagers, many of
whom have reported meeting the
veiled lady in black on lonely
walks after the nightfall.
Several tourists. while visiting
the park and in the vicinity of
Petit Trianon. distinctly saw a fg-
ure clad in the costume OF Marie
day gamboling under
the ancient trees. Those who have
attempted to approach Marie's
farm, where she would rest and
live the. simple life, felt invisible
hands pushing them away.
The Washington herald., 1920-09-21
Circulars Demand u. S. Revolt.

Norristown. Pa. Sept 2O.-While
the people of Bridgeport slept last
night agents of the United Com
munist Party of America distrib-
uted printed circulars appealing
to the working men to overthrow
the government of the United States.
The circular scorns the capitalists
and tells of the misery caused by
the war which was created, il said,
to make money.
The Washington herald., 1920-09-21
Wage Commission Named.

alberta, Canada, has appointed a
commission to draft a minimum
wage report on which>-a proposed
law shall. be based. It contains a
member picked by the Alberta Fed
Grafton of Labor, a representative
of the employers, and a third mem
ber agreeable to both parties.
The Washington herald., 1920-09-21

leaving the Triple Alliance and
joining rhe Entente.
Among others who spoke, in Ital-
ian, were DR.. Luigi Reverse, of New
York, and DR. Celesia Di VegliascO
representing Baron Camille Romano
Avezzana, the Italian Ambassador.
The Washington herald., 1920-09-21
PHILHARMONIC COURSE s::;gS S.; =,

PoLIs THEATER. s.sc P. NJ
Oct. 2s-hme. PAVIowA AND BALLET
hUSsE with synphony Orchestra.
Nov. S-hme' eALIl-ouRoI, ooloraturH So
prano.
Nov. i7-cARoIINE LAzzARI coutrslto:
CHARLES HAcKETT. Tenor; Metre
poht,n operS yoirt Recital
Dec. S-fkl1z kkErsLER, violinist.
Dec. lS-EAoHHANnoFT. Pianist.
Season Priccs-Orchestrs. SIS 81. "a SlO
Sd.SO. War tak 10 per. CEN additional
seats now on sale st Mr..
ereene's Concert Buresu, Dreep,s, lsth d O
The Washington herald., 1920-09-21
ARTISTS COURSE
lSI Season
AL lopo-gi

NATIONAL TEEATER, $50 P. n.
Nov. BINARY GARDEN, Soprano, Chi. On,
Dec. s-soPHE BRASLAU. Contr1lto. Net
ropolitAn Opera.
Jan. i2-JAN KURThIK. World Repovrp.d
yiolniSt.
Jan. 27-cHIcAeo SYMPHONY oKcHEs-
IRA, Frederiek Stock. Conductor, So
loiSt, MAGGIE TEYTE. Soprano.
March s-PABLo cAsALs, 'celist; HAH-
OLD BAUER, Pianist; JACQUES
THIBAUD, violinIst Joint Rectal
Season Prices-Orchestrl, SIS; Balrony.
Sl2.5e, Sio. Ganery. $3.50. War tax lOqs
additional. SeHu now on sale at Mr.
ereene'S Concert suruSu, DroOp's. 18Th A G.
The Washington herald., 1920-09-21
Boston Symphony Orchestra

PIERRE MONTEAUN. Cnoductor.
Season OF Five Concerts l92O-2I
NATIONAL THEATER. 4.SO-TUESDAYS.
Nov. ., Nov. 80. Jan. T. Feb. l, March Is.
SoLoIsTs.
HELEN STANLEY. Soprano: JEAN BE-
DETTL 'oenoi ALFRED coRToT, Piano;
HULDA LAsEANsKA, Soprano; ERNo
DoHNANYL, Piano,
Season Prices: Orchestra. SL2.JO; Bslcouy.
5000 and $50; GaIlery. $500.
Seats now on sale az Mr.
G-eene's Concert Bureau, Droop'S. 18th a G.
The Washington herald., 1920-09-21
The strand-.Dance Creations and
Vaudeville.

The strand-sDance Creations and
Vaudeville.
Delightfully."- entertaining and
amusing, from opening to closing
number, and presenting a variety of
vaudeville specialities such as are
seldom seen on one bill, the new
bill at the Strand yesterday. the
showing to continue throughout the
week, evidently met with the un-
qualified approval of an audience
which filled the house,
The headline offering presents
Edward Stanisloff and a quintette of
graceful girls in a revue entitled
Dance Creations" Gorgeous cos
tunes and a beautiful stage setting
aid this delightful number. Stanis-
lof gave several solo dances, all of
same being taken from the Russian
school. of which style the star
proved himself a master.
The bill is. opened by ten minutes
of real entertainment given by Stry-
ker. a novelty balancing expert and
contortionist. This artists gyrations
on stage and table kept all eyes CEN
tered the entire time he was on.
ava <hAAShs coSltNy NOCallSIF
series of classical and other song
numbers in lighter vein, all rendered
in manner beyond criticism. Miss
Allen has a real voice and uses it
effectively. E. Volpi supported the
star most satisfactorily. DSVoy and
Dayton, in a clever comedy offering,
AT the Station won setond place
in popularity on the bill.
Irlra naWirtarS
ly talented girl ventriloquist, fol-
lowed in character songs and i'm
personations apparently given
through the mouths of her comicaI
assistants. Jean Mccoy and Ralph
Walton presenting "A Few Minutes
With Ouija" proved satisfactory.
The team of Montambo and Nap,
the eccentric silent funnsters. were
forced to curtail their offering due
to an accident to Mr.. Nap, Mr.. Mon
tambo with new partner hastily
procured, proved amply sufficient
however
Stirring action. good acting and
pleasing humor are the principal
ingredients of "Uncharted Chan
nels" the Jesse d. Hampton pro-
duction starring H. B. Warner,
which is given as the photodran.a-
tic attraction for the week. Scenicly
and from the Photographic view,
point the production is beyond
criticism.
Orchestral features including an
overture The Irish Patrol" as al =
ranged by Arthur J. Maxwell, con-
ductor of the Strand orchestra.
round out two and half hours of
The Washington herald., 1920-09-21
MONDAY THEATER OPENINGS

something like three quarters of a
million records carrying their voice
all over the country, entertain well
for few minutes and put across
some original song hits and jokes.
Harry Holman and Company in
Hard Boiled Hampton" get away
with some good chatter Harry
Holman is as funny as he is fat
and to him must go the credit of
putting acros the sketch, which is
built on series of situations.
: Msrgert Young singing, dancing
and joking will go down in the
minds of many as one Of the night S
hits. Miss Young is from Detroit
and plays her part exceedingly well
for so young q comedienne.
The Asahi troupe close the bill
with some startling bits of magic.
Asahi performs many stunts but
probably the most spectacular is
the human fountain, when he
causes water to spurt from any
part of the floor. from a fan. from
the head, feet or hands of, other
members Of the company. Gorgeous
costumes and effects abound in this
act. ....
The Washington herald., 1920-09-21

Kejth's-Naudeville
Ben Bernie and the Creole Fash
ion Plate" with the Asahi Troupe