Douglas Island news., 1920-10-01
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abIy prepared by Che wife for her husbands benefit and while stran- ecn mover soo any of Che aguals many a husband Is kept in foar and trembling for am entire evening by @ mere look or melton Of am oyol.l his wIfoa cyoild The husband mover uses Che code. Ho is Che rec ocIyng operator and woe Is his por- uou iflc faiia in that capacity He roalnos h.a mistake after Che guests leave
 Never argue with "pct" lf she says black is white. agrcc with her. You may say it used to be black but say it to yourself
 If "DovIc" s on hcr job and never lcar thot she won't bc-sho can switch from Fivo Hundred Go Old Hundred without batting am eye and you win be expected to follow su.t Moro thm that you win follow sml
 If "Chocolato Drop decided that you should wolr your coat at break ost wear lt-and on overcoat too. Ii she insists.
 Don't spring cramps .u thc stom- ach more chan twice year as ah ox- cuse for hitting Che private stock just before dinner lt won't work ouuor than that "Mtuo Toom' knows more about your stomach chan you do.
 If "Kiuen" wakes you at @. m. and mya she hears Che cat in Che kitchen. get up and go down stairs. even though you remember having put out Che cat yourself and know uat Che noise she heard was tho wind shaking Che mop that Is hang me jus. outside Che kitchen door. 1T you break a toe or two stumbling around m dark. don't expect any
 sympathy when you so back upstairs.
 If you knock Che clock off Che shelf while fumblng around for tho umphor bottle at 3:3O or { a. m. prepare to be called awkward and clumsy lt is coming Co you on gcu- oral principles
 n "Lov.e Pct' orders you to hustle out to Che third shelf iu Che pantry and get Che CastorIa bottle but hold ou The Stroller is getting .omcwhat ahead of thc premises pre-
 crbcd for tbis article.
 Don't bo alarmed if you sc, Sweetness" Iu conversation with thc stroller Uc may know you Of old and have Che goods on you but hc belongs to Che Brotherhood Of Man and never peaches Also. he wears rho yoke.
 n "Uonoy Love- gets letter from
 omc old friend chat you never saw OF heard of take on interest in iI won though it be as dry as a sod, water advertisement
 1T swccuc Kdeu" mention. some boy sweetheart of long ago pretend Go Doc Jealous She win talk, pleasure in mumatur chat thcr. was umc when she thought a grca. deal of him. when chances are b, was some jay who ate pie with a knife said "go.hdurn' and had m.Il
 pcos on his shoes
 If you come home some day and find Sugar Plum" doing Q contor uon act before tbo largest mirror u .tbe house. don't think she is having Ia ut or practicine for circus. sh' . .s only fastening her dress or soma .o,hor e.mracE chat buttons n th' .bacb
 1T you are addicted to talking u your sleep. never doze o0 without .Gu swallowing about Q yard o your corner of tho top sheet lt win sayc explanations chat may not b. satisfactory thc next morning. Tho foregoing advice is for th0 . drat year of welded bliss only rh0 Stroller has choice selection Of re cpcs and maxims for succecdin. yoars. covering tecthing wind or . .thc mmmy and kindred complaints ! You won't need chem this yoar bu ! Che Stroller win gladly supply then from umc Go time as they are rc QuIrod