The Washington herald., 1920-09-10

was as weak as vegetarian cat.
"Td argue this case with you,
Jef,' says he, regretful in his
style, for an unlimited number
Of rounds If | had half an hour
to train in and slab OF beef
steak two feet square to train
with. Curse the man. say. that
invented the art of going food
less. May his soul in eternity be
chained up within two feet of
bottOmlcsS' pit of red-hot hash.
I'm abandoning the conflict. JEFF:
I'm deserving to the enemy. You
will find Miss DuEan inside con-
templating thr only living num-
my and the informed hog She's
fine girl. JEFF. Id have beat
you out If could have kept up
the gruhiess habit a little while
longer. You'll have to admit that
the fasting dodge was aces
up for a while. I figured it out
that way. But. say. JEFF it's said
that love makes the world go
around. Let me tell you. the an
nOuncement lacks verincation.
Its the wind from the dinner
horn that does it. love that
Name Dugan. I've gone six days
without food in order to coincide
with her sentiments. Only one
bite did have. That was when
l knocked the tatooed man down
with a war club and got a sand
wich he was gobbling. The man
aEer fined me all my salary: but
salary wasn't what ! was after.
Twas that girl. Id give my life
for her. but I'd endanger my i'm
mortal soul for a beef stew. Hun
ger is a horrible thing. Jen. Love
and business and family and re-
ligiOn and art and patriotism are
nothing but shadows Of words
when a mans starving
I'm such language F.d Collier
discOursed to me. pathetic. 7
gathered the diagnosis that his
affections and his diCcstionS had
been implicated in scramble and
the commissary had won out.
never disliked Ed Collier. !
searched my internal admonitions
Of suitable etiquette to see if
could find remark OF consol-
ing nature but there was none
convenient.
I'D be glad. now says Ed. If
you'll let me go. I've been hard
hit, but I'll hit the ration supply
harder. I'm going to clean out
every restaurant in town. I'm 60
ing to wade waist deep in sirIoins
and swim in ham and eggs. It's
an awful thing. jeff Peters. for
man to come to this pRss-tO give
up his girl for something to eat
it's worse than that man Esau.
h" swapped his copyright for
partridEe-but then. hungers
fierce thing. NOu'Il excuse me.
now, JEFF, for I smell a pervasion
Of ham frying in the distance. and
my legs are CRYING out to STAN
pede in that direction
"A hearty meal to you. Ed
Collier 7 says to him. and no
hard feelings. For myself, am
projected to be an unseldom eat
cr, and have coincidence for
your predicaments'
There was a sudden big Whit
Of frying ham smell on the breeze
and the Champion Faster gives a
snort and =aIlops off in the dark
toward fodder.
81 wish some of the cultured
outfit that are always advertis-
ing the eXtenuatinG circumstances
or love and romance had been
there to see. There was Ed Col
ller. a fine man. full OF, contriv-
ances and flirtatiOnS, abandoning
the girl of his heart and ripping
out into the contiguous territory
in the pursuit of sordid grub.
Twas rebuke to the poets and
slap at the best-paying olc-
ments of fiction. An empty stom-
ach Is A sure antidote to an over
fun heart.
was naturally anxious to
know how far Name was infatu-
ated with Collier and his strata
gems. | went inside the Unparal-
Ieled Exhibition. and there she
was. She looked surprised to see
me, but unguilty.
It's an elegant evening out
side says !. The cooIness is
quite nice and gratifying. and the
stars are lined out. first class. up
where they belong. wouldn't you
snake these by-products or IN.
animal kingdom long enough to
take a walk with common hu-
man who never was on a program
in his lfe?'
Name gave a sort of sly glance
around. and I knew what that
meant.
OhS says I. 7 hate to tell you
but the curiosity that lives on
wind has flew the coop. He just
crawled out under the tent. BY
this time he has amalgamated
himself with half the delicatessen
truck in town
You mean Ed Collier says
Name.
do I answers; and pity
1t is that he has gone back to
crime again. I met him outside
the tent, and he exposed his In
tentions Of devastating the food
crop Of the world. 'Tis enormous
ly sad when ones ideal descends
from his pedestal to make sew
enteen-year locust OF himself
Name looked mo straight in
the eye until she had corkscrewed
my reflections.
jeff says she, 1T isn't quite
like you to talk that way. | don't
care to hear Ed Collier ridiculcd.
A man may do ridiculous things,
but they don't look ridiculous to