Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-09-22
The Wlndn,iIl
HEART SONGS.


| }, Fate has been most crool To me
1t chased me from the start:
| t follows me around until
| | am most sick at heart;
| When was born really was
The incest kid in town,
| But mamma called me Percy
| And can not live it down,
| realized what misery
A little name could bring,
a monnickers misfortune
Like maeilage will cling.
| Here was man who well might be
| His nations hope and pride,
[ scarcely could control my tears
When mournfully he cried:
o, many are the things rye tried.
But always do I fail,
1t matters not how hard work,
| l can't collect the kale:
| am the ball OF destiny
And Fortunes mongrel houn',
My mamma called me Percy and
can not live 1t down.
Suffragists are raising Ned abou,
the motto OF the state of Maryland
Deeds are masculine; words are
feminine" And they say they won't
stop tin they've had the last word
on the subject, either.
| A prominent German rises 10 re.
mark that the telephone caused the
war. His theory Is that communi.
cation with Vienna was SO swift thai
Berlin lost It's head All we can say
is that the telephone companies in
this country seem thoroughly com.
mitted to peace.
| And with this new wireless phone
a headline informs us, they Dance
in Italy to Music Played fin London"
Sounds to us suspiciously like an-
other one Of those triumphs OF Brit.
ish diplomacy.
A good many women are now try
ing to decide whether Harding or
Cox is the best bargain. They feel
sure that the one who in marked
down most on the ballots will win.
II Harding doesn't want to make
the swing around the circle, Debs
would be more than glad to take his
place.
The last quarter OF an hour in
| Poland must have seemed to the boil
shevik army like the first hundred
years.
Edna says some OF the girls wear
SO little at the parties nowadays that
their men friends almost die OF ex.
posture.
How ridiculous to charge anyone
with trying to buy the presidency
for $15.o0o.o0O. why. the salary ID
only $4,000!
A Detroit man knocked his wife
out by beaning her with . replica OF
the statue Of liberty. That's prob.
ably his idea OF free love.
They've put on q new play in New
York called 'iThe Bat" Sounds to
us mighty like a violation OF the
eighteenth amendment.
WHY 1S-MONTH-OLD BABIES
GROW MOROSE.
Mono, Mamma spank!"
"Well, he certainly never got that
temper from my side Of the family"
Jaw, isn't he the sweetest thing.
Boofums tum see Auntie Sue7"
"Baby, show grandma how big the
baby is. Say mamma Say papa.
What does the dog say7 How does
Daddy drink his coffee? Who does
the baby love best? OF course. he
doesn't pronounce very well yet, but
you can tell what he's trying to
say"
Baby, mind mamma. Pit 1t out!"
'sWuzzum jussum sweeturns Cute
urns?"
After viewing the last eighteen
months in Europe, we subscribe to
the statement that peace has her
victories no less renowned than war.
The bolshevists are seeking ALLIANCES
with the Mohammedans and some-
where in the purlieus OF or brain
there's a joke hanging round about
a Turkey Trotsky.
Food will go higher because there
is a shortagelof men to harvest the
crops, but shucks, IL there was
enough help the wages would be so
high that food would go higher any
way.
BIBLICAL THOUGHTS ON !,
ARTICLE x.
And Joshua made peace with them
and made a league with them to let
them live.-Joshua, 9:1S.
And We shall make no league with
the inhabitants OF thisAland; We shall
throw down their altars.--Judges,
3:2.
For thou shalt be in league with
the stones Of the field and the beasts
Of the field shall be at peace with
thee.-Job, 5:23.
Ethiopia and Libya and Lydia and
all the mingled people and Gh,ib, and
the men of the land that Is in league
shall fall with them by the sword -
Ezekiel, 30:5.
49, ToI1 al HUp