The star-progress. (Opelousas, La.) 1917-1921, 1920-03-20
OLD KENTUCKIAN
SHOOTS DAD-IN-LAW
John Shell, 131, Tries Conclu-
sions With Wife's Father,
Much Younger Man

Louisville, KY, March 7.-.Uncle
John" Shell of Greasy Greek, Kentuc-
ky, coming through the mountain
laurels this morning, put his rifle
against the wall of his little log cab
in and chuckled softly to himself. He
had Just run his father-in-law off his
hill farm and was completely happy.
''Uncle John" Shell is the most sue
cessful death-defying member of the
human species on the North Ameri-
can continent. For one hundred and
thirty-one years he has spryly hop
ped around his farm, apparently as
young and clipper now as he was a
hundred years ago.
~Uncle Johns" young wife, who
was a century younger than her hus-
band, died few days ago, and his
father-in-law, thinking that "Unele
John" was a trifle too old to care for
his son, who is six years old, came
over to the old mans farm to take his
grandson away.
The proposition so peeved uncle
John" that he ran his popper-in-law
off the premises with a rifle.
kin l take care of my own kid?
Am / spry enough? Well, reckon /
be-" remarked Uncle John.
This modern edition of Mehuse-
Ian has the documents to prove that he
was born in Tennessee in 1888, just
when the folks of this country were
congratulatine George Washington on
licking the British. He was IL years
old when General Washington died,
and was 72 at the outbreak Of the
civil war. At that time they thought
s'Uncle John" too old to carry mus
ket, so they rejected him as soldier.
The same thing happened to him in
1898, when the Spanish-American
war broke out. He was only ITO
then, and feeling younger every day,
but they turned him down again.
This so Disguised "Uncle John" that
when the world war came on, although
he was then but 128, he refused to
volunteer, and when they started the
fool draft they wouldn't even notice
he was around.
But he's here yet and he'll prob
ably be around when we are running
weekend excursions to Mars. There
is certainly lots of class to 'Uncle
John"
-sThis old DIR. Osler," said ''Uncle
john" 'says a man ought to be
chloroformed when he is sixty.
Shucks, l hadn't got my full growth
when / was only sixty"
just now Shell is teaching his six
year-old son, Albert, how to do the
chores and run the farm. He is also
teaching him how to shoot "revenu-
ers," like every good mountaineer.
He never knew how to read or
write and he never saw movie show
in his life. He is five feet five inch
es tall and weighs 1O3 pounds. If
you want to live long, he says, work
like tarnation and don't let nuthin'
worrit you."
So, Sunday morning, after chasing
his papa-in-law, who was born about
eighty years after him, off the farm,
he stood his rifle against the cabin,
and yelled out:
"Albert! Hey, you young scala
wag. come here and help yore pap bed
down the boss and milk the cow"
Gan right, pappy, II be with We
in shake" sang out Albert.
"Huhp said "Uncle john" ''Any
galoot thinks he kin take leetle AL
away from his pap, I'll sure shoot
him full of holes. Yes, stree, hain't
as young as was onct, but l amt no
ways an old man yit, not by darned
sight, gosh darned my gol burned
eyes. Come on, here, you, AL"
"Here l be, pap" said little Al, and |
the six-year-old, with his 131-year-old |
pap, went out to the barn to milk the
COW.