South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1920-04-18
Ouija Through The WidO7O SLOrgnette

There! I won't ask IT another
thing!"
The Widow pushed the ouija board
away from her. with a petulant ges-
ture, and settled her silver tulle
draperies back in the rose brocade
chair with an air OF aggrieved
finality.
Perhaps you weren't-er-en-
rapport" suggested the Bachelor
soothingly.
That's no reason why It should
answer me like a husband" retorted
the widow, when I ask It. whether
l should go to the masquerade ball
as Port'a CT Carmen, 1t answered
Yes"
Meaning" explained the Bach
elor CALAMITY, that you are both
clever ara charmingi Presence or
mind doesn't always indicate alb
sence OF beauty you know"
The Widow thanked him with
emile but appeared unmolli1ed.
And when 1 asked It," she went
on. If 1 should marry agaiA' II
answered ASK B-'l Now, who on
earth is 'Bo' I've thought OF Bhudda
gid BeelzebuD and"
i've got il" broke in the Zach
elor waving his cigaret' 'B' STANDS
Cor Bachelor. Why don't you ask
rce?"
And" pursued the Widow, ignor-
ing the suggestion. when I asked
n where you were all during supper
and three waltzes and a toX-trot' last
night. IL answered."
"Oh. Welt" interrupted the Bach
elor hastily, You can't believe any
thing a foolish little three-legged
ouita board saysl Surely you don't
take any of these new kinds OF magic
and fairy tales and ghost walking
affairs seriously"
why not?" demanded the Widow,
I'm humanl And the whole poor.
dear human race has been desper-
ately hunting for some new kind Of
| magic ever since Eve sought a
seance with the Serpent. If ever
I have TO earn my living. I'm going
TO invent a new kind Of magic cure,
or a recipe for eternal youth, or a
love-charm, or something" and she
smiled complacently at the inspira-
ton.
"WiTl II be a pill. or an elixir,
or a face-powder. or a reducing diet,
or a serum. or a faith cureF" in
ouired the Bachelor, with mock seri-
business.
"Oh, it doesn't matterl" The
Widow shrugged her shoulders airily,
They'll swallow anything. whether
! II comes IN boxes or bottles or books
whether it is a new fountain OF
youth. or a mineral water. or a
/ philosophy or a gland, or a beauty
! capsule! They'll swallow anything.
from rubber pellets TO Paris green,
| If you'll only promise them that IL
/ will give them eternal life or
eternal youth or eternal beauty. or
! eternal happiness-or even the
/ eternal love of their husbands. /
could sell them stewed butterflies
wings or fried camels' ears-and
they'd buy them and get their
| moneys worth"
! Their moneys worth OF what 20
incurred the Bachelor in astOnish-
ment. "Of bunco?"
"Of hope. Mr.. Weatherbyi" cor
rected the Widow. smiling sadly, "Of
! optimism, of courage. Of excitement,
| OF thrills That's what we're all
| really looking for and longing for.
| Just look at the things we've tried.
already"
Il have," groaned the Bachelor.
| I've seen 'em in the hair-dresser' s
/ windows ruesOme-arent they!'
I and he shuddered.
The ancients went in for Oracles
and nominations and sun-worship. 4"
went on the Widow, "and our great
| srandfathers tried bleeding and
leeches; and our grandfathers drank
| nauseous hot-sprlng waters our
fathers baked themselves in hot mud
baths. and walked around bare
| footed IN the dew, and were never
happy unless they were being cut