The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-06-06

of the nails would fall off. and they
 would cease to function Then the
 first gale that blew would remove the
 clapooards one by one and leave us
 exposed to the deadly chill of winter We were naturally averse to having
 the house fall down over our heads
 It is the only house We have and we
 would not know where to turn to get
 another. Besides we planned and
 built 1t ourselves. and had all the
 neighbors in to help celebrate when
 we paid off the mortgage.
 So we called in the local painters and asked them for estimates They did little measuring, asked us About 1 color schemes and whether the iob in cluded the blinds, and went away.
 The next week wS got the estimates. ! opened them, gave them a hasty glance and observed to the head of the family:
 Do you know who those painters were?" S ! No,' she said, being naturally quick at repartee who were they?" 1 John S. Sargent and Maxfield Par rish"
 What makes you think SOP" i Look at these estimatesv' She looked, and agreed with us. of course. we could readily under stand. after a glance at the figures why Messrs. Sargent and Parrish had gone into the house painting business. Even in the days of J. P. Morgan and Henry Clay Prick they never could have hoped of getting so much money Tor mere portraits and landscapes But they were far beyond our means, so we decided to do the job ourselves
 The price of the paint when the paint man apologized for it. staggered us but he agreed to partial payment plan and we had it sent up
 Then we fell to work. The head of the family gets dizzy on a ladder. so she painted up as far as she could reach, and l undertook, with the aid or the ladder, to paint the rest of the way.
 The difficulty was the lack of day. llght. She painted merrily away all afternoon, but I didn't get home till dark Painting in the dark is trouble some. You paint yourself considerabl bly, more than you would otherwise. Furthermore, you are unable to dis tinguish the color labels When I had painted all I could and quit along toward in the morning, I retired happily.
 Anyway I thought, it will be | cheaper than having those old masters do it for us"
 changed my mind the next morn | ing. had used the gray trim paint on | the body of the house, which should l nave been white. Furthermore. I hadn't painted evenly. The effect was very much that of a poorly camou- | 1iaged battleship-a battleship so | camouflaged that it would attract the l attention of all the enemy battleships i at a range of twenty miles, no matter how low the visibility.
 UT course, l had to paint it all over the next day, absenting myself from ] business for the purpose. But paint | ing white over gray must be done | many, many times, if you are to get 1 any shade but gray.
 We sold little furniture and bought more paint. Then we sold the flivver and some other things and bought more. Ten coats did the trick, but we | could have .laid them on with our hearts blood with less strain on our finances.
 And no sooner had we got them on than along came rain and striped them nicely adding an effect which was oizarre enough to suit futurist, put which the neighbors derided.
 The house is painted now. If you live anywhere near us you know about it. The trolley companies run excursions II 10 see it. And the crowds that patron II ze these excursions get the worth of II heir money.
 Some time we hope to be able to 'uild high fence around the house II md charge admission. Then we will 'e able to make enough to hire Sargent Parrish to paint the house prop ,rly, which is what we should have lone in the first place.