The Irish standard., 1920-05-15
CHAPTER VII.

0AuCV CI1u6y ul&ut, 6ltl1tQ NA0
aved only for Sunday: his whsls exis-
esace had been turned to Sunday, and
when at last the morning dawned. his
greatest fear was that he might not
6ve until dinner~time.
On reaching Carols side. ke VA
both awkward and incoherent: ana he
JAILED to derive encouragement from
tAe realization which gradually stole
evef him. that the Durants had asked
. number Of other guests to dinner.
Armstrong was waiting patiently In
he aisle, and keeping closer to Carol
than Hilliard liked. and there was also
q br1ght-faced boy Of nineteen or TWEEN
u who had promptly attached himself
10 Angela-his name was Waring. and
he was the grandson Of the patriarch
al clergyman, with the head Of Moses
and the spirit Of youth. who presently
came down to Join the little group. and
complete It. So that altogether there
were nine people who finally sat down
10 table; and Hilliard's dream Of quiet
progress and harbored conversation
was shattered in twinkling.
1t was all very homelike, and all
very friendly, but to Hilliard, sitting
there between Carol and her mother.
the occasion was peculiarly acute. He
had long since discarded any residue
Of his active fears; he was con.
fident in his disguise to the
point Of recklessness. for he had
covered the windings Of the trail by an
Infinite variety Of methods; and yet
without having any tangible facts to
grasp, he was subtly warned to re-
main on sentry duty over his poise.
he was gratified that the conversa-
ton, after one natural enough eddy,
was whirled away from the vicissitudes
Of Dicky Morgan, for he had talked
his fill on that particular subject. For
time, he amused himself by watch
ing Angela and Waring playing their
world-old game across the table; after
that. he paid little polite attention
to Mrs. Durant, and to the clergyman;
and then snatching an opportunity un.
looked for, he gave his kindest smile
to Carol, and for an instant took the
monopoly from Armstrong. And he
had hardly looked down once into her
October-brown eyes before the mystery
Of his restlessness was as clear as
crystal, and Hilliard was thoroughly
dumfounded, and confused.
1t had come upon him, a quarter Of
an hour ago, as they exchanged their
first superficial sentences, that he was
lonelier than he had ever imagined,
but he hadn't realized, until this i'm
mediate contingency. that this sensa-
ton had carried over until now. He
was prevented, by the very limits of
the project which had brought him
here, from releasing any of his sincere
thoughts; he hadn't comprehended, un-
I'll he had learned the truth Just now
By actual experience, that loneliness
u nothing but an aggravated state of
self-repression. Never in all his life,
not even when he had lain for months
In hospital in France. had he been as
lonely 40 today. and at this moment,
when he was surrounded BY people he
knew intimately, and when he was en-.
Joined from sharing in their communi-
y Of mind.
Carol, looking up at him with what
wasn't exactly a smile. but was at
Least q cousin to it-that well-remem.
bered hash Of sympathetic interest
Carol spoke to him under cover Of the
general conversation.
"A penny for your thoughtsl" she
proffered.
"They aren't worth It." said Hill
Hard. II was thinking about myself"
BE continued to regard her steadily.
and he was alarmed to discover that
he was losing one Of the abilities
which had made him SO sure of him
self. He continued to hold that she
had treated him shabbily, mercilessly;
but Notwithstanding that, as he gazed
at her, and perceived the sweet nat
uralness which was developing out of
last weeks shock, he was secretly per-
turbed. In spite of himself, he be-
gan to see, as though by camera OBJ.
scura, dim visions Of the past; he was
righteously annoyed that they should
rise to torment him, and still the vi
sions came.
"But after all that you've been
through" she said, II should think
your thoughts about yourself would
be extremely Interestingly"
'T'm afraid they're rather gloomy.
Miss Durant, whenever they touch on
what I've been through. And when
anything like this gathering here to-
day builds up a comparison. I'm
sorry, but can't always master it."
"You mean the difference betvesn a
family over here and family over
there7"
Exactly" he said. Down to the
last detail-what we eat, and where
We live, and what we talk about, and
what we think about-everything."
1--WE thought Of that, too," she said
soberly. "But I'll have to confess that
It wasn't until you came-it wasn't
until after that first night at Angela's
that the great difference came home
to me. It's made me feel that it's a.
Ynnof xupnnn-o1uoock u~o-S-.>ls~