davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-05-08
Folk al the Joplin Convention

II couldn't help feeling just little
bit sorry for Holy Joe Folk" observ-
ed one faithful wheel horse. There
he stood in a corner of the hotel lob
by, attended only by his faithful SER
vitor. Judge Evans, and none else so
poor to do him reverence. They say
he had hopes of being presented with
q delegateship. but he couldn't have
successfully run for dog catcher in
that convention. The men all knew
his sinuous record, which was char
acteristically topped off by his vic
ious attacks on the patriotism of
Xenophon Whitley; while the women
knew that as member OF the Ad-
ministration he made speeches for
lawyer. appeared on behalf of Egyp-
tan Mohammedans to attack it. So
it was, he was permitted TO stand
alone grand gloomy and peculiar
Sometimes a cool nod was churlishly
given him; more often, he was de-
liberately lodged. When he entered
the convention there was none OF thai
handclapping which In the conyen-
tions of former years were as incense
20 his nostrils. So II was that while
politically, l don't give a tinker's cus
for Joe, personally, l couldn't help
feeling a mite sorry for him. He has
simply proved again the truth OF
I.incoin's maxim that you can't fool
all tho people all the time. e."-Heury
County penocraL
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-05-08

nate him might not have a similar
result. .....t...
Certainly johnson and his hetero-
goneous following will have something
to say at Chicago. They will have
to be reckoncd with. They will per-
haps hold the veto power in the Sc
lection OF a nominee-and this proba-
hility is extremely discouraging to
those who are hoping for a Hoover
solution, since Johnson's hatred and
contempt for Hoover is cqualled only
by Hoover's hatred and contempt for
johnson. No platform that would fit
the one candidate could command the
support OF the other and his follow
crs.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-05-08
like Those Other Fairy Tales

The most pitiful stories of want and
suffering to appear in the telegraph
are those concerning school teachers.
The latest one is told of high school
teacher in Philadelphia, named Claude
Johnson. He is the son of a preacher.
He has wife and child. His SAL
airy, as a Philadelphia high school
teacher Is such miserable pittance
that Saturdays he goes to the woods
and gathers wild flowers, and sells
them Sundays at the door of his faith
er's church. The telegraph does not
state what kind of flowers Teacher
Johnson found in the Pennsylvania
woods during the winter, nor what
Kind of luck picking wild flowers, he
had during the snow clad months of
March and April.-Hopkins Journal.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-05-08
No More Coal Trust

This weeks papers tell a story that
the coal trust is to be broken up.
This is bad news for the consumer.
Several years ago a Chicago judge
broke up the Standard Oil trust and
since that time oil of all kinds has
ST eadily increased in price. So it will
be with the coal. The chances are
that this time next year we will be
paying more for our coal than ever
before. 1t is a great old world
Craig Leader.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-05-08
More should Do Likewise

In one of our big cities a man
wanted an oak center table stained a
mahogany finish to harmonic with
the rest Of the furniture in the room.
A workman demanded s22.5o for the
job. Instead Of paying ii, the citizen
bought a can Of mahogany for sl.s5.
a brush for a dollar and did the job
in an hour and a half II other peo-
pie would use some Of the same brand
of horse sense the ridiculous cost of
existence would soon come down to
a sane leyel.-Clarksdale Journal.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-05-08

The railroad brotherhoods are de-
manding an increase Of wages that
also means a billion.
These four items alone amount to
five billions of dollars--five billions
tnat will have to be paid by the peo-
ple-some as taxes, some as freight
charges, some directly in higher
prices, and Az ultimately, in higher
prices. 1t amounts to over $40 per
capita Of our population, in addition
to what they are paying now.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-05-08
Furnishes Certificate of Character

"I have lived in Nodaway county for
So years and IL there is a man in the
country that will say that ever beat
him out OF dollar, and prove 1t,
will restore to him the Scriptural four
fold. As a farewell to my friends,
wish to express the hope that their
last days may be the happiest, that
IL there be a future life they may at
tain unto it and that they may inherit
an eternity Of joy.--sincerely. II. C.
Hiles. es."-Burlington Junction Post.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-05-08
VIII Learn Rubcy Better

Webb Rubey, an attorney at Macon.
has refused to make out his state in
come tax statement, claiming that the
law is unconstitutional. That is what
General McAllister claimed about the
duck law, but the supreme court took
another view of it, and probably that's
what they will dc in Col. Rubey's
Democrat.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-05-08

already been demonstrated and that
1t is no longer "a splendid Utopia"
Governments and peoples. he says.
are appealing to the league knowing
that they are appealing TO a power
ful and moral authority which is cap
able of giving its decisions effect"
In fact, the time is near when a ma
tion which refuses to appeal to the
league in a controversy will find itself
in opposition TO world sentiment. AL
ready, says Leon Bourgeois eneour-
agingly, enormous progress has been
made in the direction of world peace"
But where stands American
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-05-08

We are still trying to understand
how Lee Merriwether happened to
take such a prominent part in the
Joplin convention when he is known
as leader among Missouri's 4Sers.
He tried to make a speech in defense
OF Senator Reed, but was howled
down. Merriwether's Democracy
would hardly bear close investigation.
Glasgow Missourian.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-05-08
MEAT RUINS AN OLD PRovERB

In the weather bureau staIlons
Il ere is curious little instrument
with mercury inside OF it that is
trained to 40 up and up but never to
fan back Every little spell of warm
ei weather boosts the mercury, but
relapse Of freezing. zero or congealed
Jades won't bulge it fraction OF
degree in the opposite direction. What
q pleasing analogy exists between the
behavior of this interesting device and
that Of the retail prices Of meat.
OF late we had a war. Some say
we have it yet, but in the days when
ali wore agreed that we were at war
the prices of meat asconded. No one
WAS surprised at this. Everything
else was taking an upward course.
and the packers explained that the
price Of meat must accompany. There
was a great export demand and we
had to feed the army and, anyway,
the prices had to go up.
Then we signed an armistice and
brought the soldiers home and dis
banded them, and Europe began to
get its meat elsewhere. We knew all
this because the packers explained to
the farmers that for these reasons
and others they could not pay high
prices for cattle and hogs And the
farmers raised loud wall, for, said
they. I'VE have raised lots more cat
tie and hogs just TO be patriotic and
TO get the high prices, and now what
slaU we do with all our surplus?'
Put the packers replied, we will take
the surplus, but at the price" And
the price was so low the farmers
threatened to raise no more cattle and
hogs. But the price Of meat did not
come dowH. 1t went up, That was
due to the high cost of living and
other things, the packers explained
and sometimes they said that the
naughty retailers charged too much
There was too much meat. but the
price went up.
And then came the strike. Th'
farmers couldn't sell their cattle, ant
the packers stopped buying for few
days because the switchmen wouldn'
handle the cars. And the price wen
up. The packers admitted then tina
they put the price up a little becaus'
OF the strike. Now the retailers arr
saying that the packers are profiteer
ing. How odd!
But isu.t 1t an iE.c-est!"G inoderi
invention which 50 completely dis
proves the old saying. what goes ul
must come down." The price o
meat at retail doesn't have to com
down; il just goes up and up.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-05-08

Hearst's very possible third party
has suddenly become for
midable. Knox is the natural solu-
tion Penrose would now offer. Hoover
makes no appeal to the Pennsylvania
boss who has publicly spoken of him
in terms of political dislike IL not
contempt.
1t is easy to see how Penrose, in
aualyzing the present situation, would
place high estimate on Knox. The
radical johnson. in his opinion, is
dangerous only because of his violent
and extreme opposition to the league
Of nations, which is also hated by
penrose. who himself Joined the ir-
reconcilables in voting against the
treaty even with the Lodge reserva-
tions when the senate rejected She
treaty the second time. But the con-
servative Knox-conservative on all
industrial, commercial, economic and
social questions, a mandarin among
legalists and a favorite OF the ''big
irterests"-Knox is just as extreme
against the league of nations as John
son. without being violent and ex-
piosive and hysterical.
Knox from the very outset has
sought to eviscerate the league of ma
t:ons, while johnson has publicly de-
claimed about cutting out its heart.
II hey have both belonged to the sen
ate battalion of DEATH" but Knox
has maintained his standing and dig
nifty as an international lawyer while
johnson has played upon the emo
soldier boy torn from his mothers
arms and sent to die in foreign lands
under the black flag Of the league OF
nations. Thus Knox becomes, in
Penrose's eyes, the best equipped,
all-around international statesman to
meet the requirements Of the present
/ situation who is available in public
/ life" If johnson will be good, and
not play truant, he may be named
for vice president. Knox and John
I son, a triumph OF ticket-making, by
that supreme artist Boies Penrose.
There is, of course. another side to
it, Just as in 1912 Mr.. Roosevelt
| prayed that the democrats would
| nominate Champ Clark, so President
/ Wilson may well pray that the re-
publicans will now put up Knox and
/ johnson. Such a ticket would make
+ the league of nations the paramount
/ issue in the form most favorable for
/ the democratic party under the Will
/ son leadership. 1t would paralyze
( the support and loyalty Of the wing
[ OF the republican party that believes
/ in the league. 1t would leave repub-
licans like Mr.. Taft high and dry. II
would. finally, be nothing less thar
a gamble on the chance that the sobei
sense Of the country next Novembei
would be ready to indorse the mos
extreme adverse view of the leagu,
which has yet been taken. II the re
publican national convention in Jun
should come to believe that publ
opinion was rapidly crystalizing int,
that settled judgment, then the nonn'
nation Of an extremist ticko' HI .h
turning over Of The party 90 Che H.-
ter-ende~- and their gospel OF nation
a diplomatic Isolation
al -.n1I reaction would h
log ... honest. however much it
roL...4. w...# might he questioned
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-05-08

President Wing of the Commerce
Club has appointed a most excellent
committee 10 look into st. Joseph's
housing Cor rather lack OF housing)
conditions, and if these gentlemen
will at once begin to function. those
who are now homeless will rise up
and called them doubly blessed.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-05-08

All OF the pessimist fruit raisers of
this section are lugubriously bowling
that the fruit is all killed" welll
suppose that it is! 1t win make no
difference anyhow. for if one were to
raise forty million bushels OF fruit to
the acre in Buchanan county the
price when It was put on the market
here would be just as high as it is
now.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-05-08

st. Joseph started out well on the
home grounds Wednesday, knocking
out the Oklahomans neatly on the
opening day. If this luck is contin-
ued we will have another pennant to
fly from that League Park flagstaff
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-05-08

The county court is ready to sell
four hundred thousand dollars moro
Of good roads bonds. There is
whole passel" Of voters in Buchanan
county who are wondering how that
quarter of a million already sold was
used.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-05-08

We hope that Senator Reeds enc
mics got all the pent up venom out
OF their systems at Joplin and will
now give the same amount of energy
they exhibited at the Democratic con-
vention in helping elect the ticket
next November. Standard.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-05-08

HI johnson is giving all OF the gop
leaders (except his own a vast
amount of trouble just now. They
know that IL he secures the gop nomi.
nation he will be beaten to a FRAGILE,
and they do not see a way to keep
him from securing the empty honor.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-05-08
uIrE PENRosE BOOM FOR KNOX


Coming So soon after the primaries
Of last week, wherein Senator Hard
ing was practically eliminated from
the presidential race, the launching
colleague, Senator Penruse, is regard
ell in political circles as the forcing
o. Senator Penrose hand. The "old
guard" was left without a candidate,
unless Governor Lowden was 10 be
tnAen serlously-and Lowden's dismal
showing thus far in the primaries
soncd politician look in his direction
Tor the band wagon, While Wood
and Johnson, the undoubted leaders
a this stage Of the contest are
s'aughtcring each other with the un-
disguised approval Of the "old guard
in general and the blessing OF Pen
rose in particular, it is time to put
something over. Pcnrose choose to
try out Knox right away rather than
wait for a deadlock in the conyen-
ton. II his real candidate is a dark
horse still in reserve, he has him wei
Isdden: and meanwhile Knox has his
uses.
The primary usefulness Of Knox is
ms supposed ability TO take the punch
out Of johnson az "a presidential can,
didate. Johnson was encouraged hy
the leaders Of the Penrose sort to try
for the nomination, for they hoped
Thereby Co divide the mantle Of Roose
Nclt between two heirs and, at tn,
same time. ro get ouIightmnut con
corning popular feeling as TO tn
league of nations and tho pcaC
treaty. johnson would appeal 10 th
people as an uncompromising foe o
tie league. and the response he go
in the republican primaries would b
Instructive. Whether or not John
F,n's popular strength il due 10 hi
Crtagonism 10 the league or TO othe
fsctors, there is no doubt that he ha
made a much better run than wa
anticipated and that the problem o
low TO head him off and. al the sam
time, keep him within the republical
party safe from the Establishments o
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-05-08
They Wear Them Just the Same

Probably the real reason why over
alls are not entirely popular is be-
cause the average man is afraid folks
will think his wife is wearing the
pants.-Kansas City Post.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-05-08
And pc,ish,cd 10 Show EN-

In his petition asking that he be
divorced from his wife, a high official
of a certain county declared, among
other things, that his wife had ex-
hibited fancy hosiery to him and
other mon who were present. 1t is to
be presumed that the lady was wear
ing the fancy hosiery at the time
Boonville Advertiser.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-05-08

We have no special quarrel with
weather shark Belden, but like the
one-eyed man who sat in" a card
game where cheating was going on,
some one is going to get that other
eye knocked out IL there are not
some fair days soon.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-05-08
Choking Off Our Grandmothers

With sugar now selling around the
"Dest" prices of the Civil war period.
Housewives will no longer have TO
listen to grandmother's soothing in
junction, "Ah, dear, you don't know
what we had to suffer in the '60s."-
Kansas City Times.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-05-08

Some fellow came up from st.
Louis Wednesday and told the Com
merce Club that we must produce
more before there will be lower prices
as if we had not had that dinged
at us for the past fourteen months.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-05-08

1t is again becoming common to
see bankruptcy petitions filed in the
f deral court here with liabilities list
ed up into the thousands. and assets
nothing.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-05-08

The square dealers" found out at
Kansas City Tuesday how it felt to
be put out of the temporary organ
isation Of the convention-as they
fixed" "Albus and his boys" at Saw
annah the week previous.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-05-08

After a tempestuous career, Mrs,
Scoville Mumm, former Seneca,
Kas., girl, is dead. She married a
"nobleman" and a title-for she had
money-and never had a happy mo-
ment thereafter.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-05-08

Newspaper print is to go still high
er-and you may soon see the day
when brown paper will stare you in
the face when you want to read the
daily happenings
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-05-08

Bunc peddlcr. who come to st.
Joseph to tell us what ails US are not
needed-and not welcome. We do
not need the rot that these fly-up-
the-creek orators dispense in allopa-
thic doses.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-05-08
Why Not Try That7

Certain New York renters have
formed a secret union and propose to
strike against paying rent. But why
these half measures? Why don't they
try building houses Of blue denim p
Kansas City Times.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-05-08

Wonder If that city audit that
Mayor Marshall has ordered will not
turn out as did those famous court
house audits ordered by the republi-
can end of the county court-be a
waste of several thousand dollars OF
the taxpayers money-with not a
dollar coming back.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-05-08

The women voters OF st. Joseph on
the gop side should take cognizanoe
of what their chairman, Mrs. Robert
son, got at Savannah. After she had
detached herself fro mthe under side
of the steam roller which travelled so
joyously over her. SHE KNEW.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-05-08
Just Think About Us,

Certainly no one could blame farm
ers for looking blue over crop pros
poets just now. But what about the
rest of us next fall if the farmer can
not plant his crops?-Moberly Demo-
crat.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-05-08
More Victims of Fakirs

The men guaranteeing the winter
lecture course had to dig up eight
dollars apiece Tuesday as the course
failed to pay out. Several now say
they have had their fingers burned
for the last time.-Hopkins Journal.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-05-08

With higher freight rates to be sc.
cured by the railroads, you may look
for a dollar or two per pair to be
added to all shoes and at least eight
or ten cents per pound for each six
teen ounces of sugar--for everything
cost now-doncherknow!
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-05-08
Roger Knew His Business

The late Roger Sullivan made
$500, 900 in gas, still he never was
considered a spell binder. Silence
with him proved golden.-Boonville
Advertiser.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-05-08
Gould Help Each Other

OF course. we are not opposed to
the beauty shops, but the operators
in some OF them ought to work on
each other more than they do.-St-
Louis Times.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-05-08

While we do not expect to attend
the Chicago convention, yet we do
expect to see John Boyer and John
Albus start for that place and SIT AS
DELEGATES in the gop convention.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-05-08

That Savannah gop convention last
Friday was the peach OF all peaches
and the most rotten OF all rotten
peaches.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-05-08
Is Not So I'm HCT,e

Those who always say the right
thing at the right time have schooled
themselves to talk less than other
people.-St. Louis Times.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-05-08
The Star Never Can Win

Kansas City mt democratic in
spite Of all the slander and abuse of
this wonderfully progressive city by
Tie Star and Times of the city. If SO
called high class citizens Of that city
ever expect to win in Kansas City
they will have TO get the Star to take
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-05-08
Hope This Comes True

The high price Of paper may force
shoe factories to use leather instead
o. paper for shoe soles.--Moberly
Democrat.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-05-08

And our position simply is that
movie actress who has been married
cnly twice has got the right to pose
as an ingenue.-Kansas City Times.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-05-08

There are over six hundred divorce
cases docketed for the present term
of circuit court here-and a great
majority are mismated soldier ccu-
pies.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-05-08
THE LEAGUE is FTNCTIoNING

if Leon Bourgeois were not in sym
pathy with the League Of Nations, he
would not be the president of its
council. yet 1t is interesting to note
his declaration that its usefulness tlas
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-05-08

When the alleged square dealers
get ahead of John "Albus and his
boys" it is necessary for them to
arise by at least 12:O1 a. m.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-05-08
You Have Guided 1t Right, L. @.

With this issue the Sentinel enters
upon its twenty-seventh year, and for
twenty years the present owner has
guided its destinies.-Parnell Sentinel.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-05-08

The Junior soldiers presented a
most inspiring spectacle as they pa
raded st. Joseph's streets "Wednesday.
They are the soldiers of tomorrow.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-05-08
What the Missouri
Editors Are Saying
Sell a Chicken and Get II

We haven't yet Joined the overall
Grub because we are shy the s3.5o
Initiation fee.--Clarksdale Journal.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-05-08

The city council is now struggling
with tho problem OF how to stretch
$500, 900 revenue over a $1,000, 900
expense account.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-05-08
The Strikes Must be Paid For

The folks who are striking because
the cost OF living has gone up so
high. will soon find that tho cost of
living has gone up again to pay for
their strikes-Worth County Times.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-05-08

from the mayors office in the past two
weeks attending the Savannah and
Kansas City gop conventions--or
prize fights.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-05-08

This idea of sitting watching a bah
game in May and wrapped in a heavy
overcoat. does not conduce to the
average idea OF summer.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-05-08

the other side. 1t has not won an
election in twenty years.--Moberly
Democrat.
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-05-08

That Savannah convention had
vaudeville skinned a country block"
The St. Joseph observer., 1920-05-08

No Lucille-Mayor Marshall will
not dock himself for the days he lost
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1920-04-22
Longevity of Animals

Elephants are probably the longest-lived
members of the animal kingdom, averag-
ing between 100 and 200 years, and there
are historical instances of elephants which
lived $50 years, and French naturalist
asserted that it was probable that some
whales attained an age of 1000 years.
Stolid, phlegmatic animals might be ex-
pected to live longer than high-strung,
energetic species, but consideration of the
figures does not bear out this idea. The
cow lives but twenty years, as against the
lions forty, and the slow-moving, unex-
citable bear lives, but twenty years, as
against the twenty-five of the leopard.
The question of food doesn't seem toen-
ter into the problem, one way or the other
you can Offset a long-lived vegetarian
with long-lived flesh eater, or vice
versa.-Exchange.
The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1920-04-22
Tired of Being Landlord

1t is officially reported that the Duke of
Sutherland is eager to "sel out" his estate
and settle down to the life of an ordinary
civilian. He mentioned in the House of
Lords recently that he still had estates in
the Highlands of Scotland extending to
100000 acres. He has since applied to the
Scottish Courts for authority to disentail
and sell nearly one-half of this territory.
1t is understood that that he will ultimate
ly retain only Dunrobin Castle, Loeb
Choire Lodge, and the House of Tongue,
with the home portions of their respective
domains. The Duke of Sutherland, with
his estates, which once extended to about
100000 acres, reduced to 100000 acres,
no longer has the largest landed property
in the kingdom. Among the old land
owners, the Duke of Buccleuch and, among
the new landowners, Lord Leverhulme,
have each more than 100000 acres.-Ex.