Indiana daily times. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1914-1922, 1920-07-03
It's AU Right,
PLanks Suit
Mugg and Pals
H0UeUer, Times We're When
Noble Three Felt Like LedU-
ing Convention Flat.

BY A. MUGG,
Delegate to the Democratic National
Convention Per Damon Runyon.
Copyright, 1920, by international News
Service.)
SAN FRANCISCO, July 3.-My friend
Chelsea Mcbride. and this Goofy Beers.
the nut, and 1 hold a caucus last night,
and we decide that this platform adopt
ed by us democrats is very satisfactory,
although there are times yesterday when
it looks as If we will bolt the party, and
leave the convention fat on it's back
Naturally, my friend Chelsea Mcbride
and I are against William j. Bryan
from the jump, because we always are
snyway, the same as everybody else, and
so is this Goofy Beers, the Nut, which
shows that he is not as goofy as some
people think, although he is pretty goofy
at that.
AGAINST COCHRAN
IDEA, TOO.
And of course we are against Bourke
Cockran's idea because none of Us ever
care for cider or light wines and beer,
but especially cider.
Furthermore, we will bet anybody
plenty of dough that Bourke Cochran
never drinks enough cider in his lifetime
to fill demitssse, and not so very much
light wines, and beers, as far as that
goes, and where he gets such an idea no
body seems to know.
1t is a cinch Bourke Cochran never
gets his complexion from cider, although
it is much the same color as cider, at
that.
I am present when William ]. Bryan
makes his speech in favor Of US not hav-
ing any more powders, which is a way
Of saying booze, and for while It looks
as II us democrats are goners, as he is
full Of speed and what he says about
liquor is certainly no boost for liquor,
and not even for cider.
GIVES LIQUOR
BAWLING OUT.
Anyway, William J. Bryan certainly
gives liquor such a bawling out that
several members of the New York dele
cation commence to feel that maybe he
is a little personal in his remarks, what
with them being in the liquor racket
when times are right, and when he Is
through talking there is much hollering
and running about.
But it seems that hollering at a con-
ventiOn is only worth about cents a ton
and when the voting comes of William
J. Bryan's idea gets a terrible plaster
ing.
This leaves BOurke Cockran's idea, how
ever. and both my friends, Chelsea Nc
Bride and this Goofy Beers, the Nut,
come over and tell me that they will
never stand for cider, let alone light
wines and beers.
Well, after a while the convention hauls
of and gives BOurke Cockran's scheme a
good swift kick. and it leaves us with
nothing whatever on hand concerning
liquor. as far as our platform goes.
PLATFORM STAND
Is BEST.
In fact, the platform OF US democrats
on this liquor business now is nix crack
Ing which is the best for one and all.
and will not make Jake Rupert or the
Ehret boys or any Of the other lads who
are in favor of beer. and so forth, sore.
The way US democrats look at il, the
less said about this matter the bet
ter.
If people do not go around cracking
about liquor no one will notice Il, but
OF course, If everybody is going TO keep
squawking about prohibition Ike VIII
liam J. Bryan and others, sooner or later
the cops are going to have to look into
II. and make trouble.
So It looks now 10 my friend. Chelsea
Mcbride, and to this Goofy Beers, the
Nut, and me. as il We get this prohibl-
ton fixed up .. X. in every respect, no
matter what William J. Bryan is going
to tell you, which, the chances are, will
be plenty.