The Chattanooga news. [volume] (Chattanooga, Tenn.) 1891-1939, 1920-03-24
Bits of Byblay
BY LUKE MCLUKE
Copyright, 1920. by
The Cincinnati Enquirer.

Hull
Make Roadway, son, for goodness sake
And fortune you will meet;
But, when you learn to dance, you
make
Your Roadway with your feet.
MY husband is going to bring me a
nice box of candy home this evening"
said Mrs. Younghubby.
How do you know? Did he promise
1t to your" asked Mrs. Naybor.
"Oh dear. nor! replied Mrs. Young
hubby. But we had a terrible quarrel
this morning.
This married life may have its Ills,
And many painful knocks;
But, II the husband foots the bills,
The wife should foot the socks.
Help!
The politician was notified by phone
that he was wanted at his home. He
| had been expecting the stork to make
n visit, so he hurried home at once.
| The doctor greeted him with a smile
and shook hands with him.
Congratulations" said the doctor.
at is triplets this time!"
"Trplets" exclaimed the Politician,
"rriplets hi | demand a recount"
All Modern improvements.
This house is rather old. isn't it?"
said the prospective tenant
"Oh, no" assured tho real estate
agent This house is comparatively
modern"
but these stairs creak terribly
| complained the prospective tenant.
/ ooh" explained the agent, that Is
| the latest modern Improvement In
| homes. That is a patent burglar alarm
| staircase. No burglar can get up to
the bedroom floor without waking you
| up"
The fuel shortage may worry other
towns. But youll find a Lotta Cole in
Another spasm.
l had n little dog,
! His name was Tax;
| opened the door,
And there War Tax.
Alec.
Any, Other Nominations.
Rev. Fountain Rainwater. of Water
| loo. Ky, has been nominated for chap
lain OF the club. A. Pew, of Parkers-
| burg, w Va, will manage his cam
! paign.
| 1--WE Regret TO Report"
| II becomes our painful duty to have
| to announce that the news we men
had slipped to us last winter regarding
| the spring and summer styles was all
bunk, The skirts amt gonna be knee
high Mt ALL They'll come about half
| way up to the knee. We have studied
all the advance dope, and we know
| what we are talking about, We hate
! to take the Joy out of life. men, but
/ facts Is facts.
| Poor AuAm waited round ana CusSed.
Ewes toilet was not brief:
1T takes woman hours" he fused.
ITO match a darn ig lSaf!"
LUKE McLUKE.
when Adam waited round for Eve
As always was his fate,
He said "She does not give a hg
About a single date"
Hastings (Nehl Tribune.
Our Joe Miller Contest.
"pode Jones claims that the Oldest
Joke is the one about the coiored
! woman who was taken TO a hospital
for repairs. Her arm had been severely
bitten. After dressing the bite, one Of
the surgeons remarked. "a can't make
out what sort Of a bite this Is. II is
too small Tor a horses bite, and too
large Tor dogs bite" oh OK
plaiucd the Colorod woman. 1T wuZzcnt
no animal what bit me. II wuz an.
other lady what bit me-
Names Is Names.
q. q. DNc lives az AuubCl. Mo.
our Daily Special.
Every Man Tells His Pet Story Too
often.
luke McJuke Says.
/ No wonder q bride bushes She has
Just got through promising to obey"
I what she married.
And what has become Of the old
| fashioned girl Who used TO know how
TO sew ON huuonf
/ \ husband often wishes that his
1 wife was as sweet al tho time ms
she is when there is company in the
! house.
n YOU could VICAR silk underwear
whore every body could SEQ Sc. every
girl would wear Silk underwear.