davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1920-11-04
MIR. B. :, Baer
That's Over.

The League Of Nations Is now one with yes
terday and nothing with tomorrow.
The Democratic party cracked open Election
Day with q prayer.
At midnight they were still sticking to their
Mr. Coolidge is now Vice President, which Is
sleep of public office. He may be the hrst Vice
President to attract attention provided he rubs
phosphorus on his high hat.
Cox was defeated by eight million scattered
votes. II was close race. The governor went
into the contest with the Endorsement OF the
Boy Scouts, who must have forgotten to go to
the polls.
After looking at his overwhelming minority
Wednesday morning the governor must have
thought the ballot box was a thimbIe. 1t was
beautiful day for an election. The sum was
non partisan. The SQUIRRELS chrped in the trees
as II they were bellboys paging a well-known
candidate.
The contest was nip and tuck if you knew
where to get the nip. First Mr.. Harding would
get an cad, then the governor would trail behind.
Then the Governor would slip further to the
rear and Mr. Harding would jump more to the
front
The governor will not demand a recount on
bonded adding machine He wants a recount
on a certified multiplication table.
When questioned as to the result of the elec-
tion. which was as sided as bowlegged
hobo's heels, the governor said something that
sounded like an elephant stepping a lobster's
back.
The decision was handed down by the great
est jury ever impanelled. The American people.
Don't think that tho jury judged hastily.
The records show that the jury has been
out eight years
Now they're in.
The Washington times., 1920-11-04
Beatrice Fairfax
GIVES
Advice.
NEGLECTED WIFE.
DEAR MISS FAIRFAX:

DEAR MISS FAIRFAX:
A husband left his wife and hve-year-old
child to go West. claiming he could make
moro money there. He has been gone seven
months and has sent only sf5 to his wife dur
ing that time. She being sick when he left
and under the doctors care. with a bill alone
amounting to S15 per week. besides board for
herself and child The wife forced to
work in order to meet expenses. She left her
baby for a friend to take care OF. The hus-
band wrote letters freely, but never mentioned
helping her.
or course, this wife began to grow weary,
and, being only twenty-five years old. longed
for a bit OF happiness Finally, she became
acquainted with a young man several years
her senior and they took a great liking to
each other. He gained her confidence and she
explained her situation to him and vowed
she had turned against her husband bitterly
for his neglect. They came in contact every
day by working together till they truly love
each other, and he loves her child dearly
Their friends on both sides know OF their
affair, and claim they are both doing wrong,
and great harm in their being together
while she is married and the man single. But
they claim they love each other and are wait
ing to what turns UP on the husbands side
as he Is aware of what's going on. What is
your advice to this. couple: WEARY ONES.
Why does not the wife find out what hc
husband Is doing and how much he Is making
and then decide whether he Is able to senc
her money? If he is able, but does not sup
port her and the child, the wife has goot
cause for divorce the grounds of non-sup
port.
In tho meantime. since the husband is ap
parently so neglectful, the wife Is entitled t.
as much happiness as she can get, within thu
bounds OF social and moral law.
The Washington times., 1920-11-04
WHAT SHALL HE wEARf

DEAR MISS FAIRFAX:
The answer to the following question will be
greatly appreciated by us.
We are young couple who are planning
to be married in the near future. The we'd
ding Is to be held at home, and the fiancee
will be dressed az a bride with n veil and
everything that goes with 1t. Now the ques-
tion is. would 1t be considered good taste for
the groom to wear a business suit or should
he be In evening clothes. The wedding is to be
held at Z o'clock. Both of us are of moderate
means. DOUBTFUL
The last sentence settles the matter. Most
people would insist upon an evening suit, but
in these days Of high prices a dark business
suit would be quito appropriate.
The Washington times., 1920-11-04
WHAT MORE DOES SHE wANTf
DEAR MISS FAIRFAX:

I am nineteen years old and an orphan.
Have been working in Washington for the
past three years. Several months ago met
a man seven years my senior and have been
going out with him ever since that time.
Recently we were invited to 20 motoring
with a party of friends. Being insanely
Jealous, on little or no provocation, he hu-
inflated me before my friends, using very
profane language. and even threatened to
strike me.
Since that date he has called me every
day by phone, pleading for forgiveness and
saying he was very sorry, and that II was
only his deep love for me and his jealous
disposition that made him act the way he
did Having no one to advise mo- come to
you HEARTBROkEN WlsDA
What more do you expect the young man
to do? Hasn't he shown he is deeply sorry foI
the few unfortunate words uttered. Are you
quito sure that you will never become Jealous
OF him or angry with him and probably uttei
the same words before . party OF his friends
The Washington times., 1920-11-04
,Once-Overs
Copyright 1920 International Feature Service. Inc.
A PRESENT FOR THE WIFE.
BY J. J. MUNDY.

of course for be sensible about what
chase but the be
too sensible about your your wife, and might
think which
why don't you things together and things
other and get q expression Of likes and dslikes.
necessarily should the gift make to her be expensive but
&, should be something which she call her
be something she think
daya and hat she especially likes personally.
tell their husbands to be oosh" this
"ust for me-" and in they it.
your part the personal touch is always pleasing.
giving wife something besides what
you would have buy anyway before the And
bunch flowers Just blossom for her and
mske q light long after tho faded Ill
The Washington times., 1920-11-04

JUST A moment ago.
AS I write.
THE TELEPHONE rang.
AND l answered.
AND SOMEONE told me.
ABOUT cHAPE's wife.
CHAPE BEING a friend.
AND THEY said:
SHE HAD gone to sleep.
AND HADN'T wakened.
AND THAT Chape.
AND HIS boy Buddie.
HAD BEEN left.
WITHOUT ANY partner
AND ANY mother.
AND SITTING here.
IT SEEMED to me.
IF l must write.
1T MUST be of them.
AND l know.
SHE'D LIKE me to do it.
JUST FOR chspe.
AND FOR Buddie.
AND YOU.
WHO DIDN'T know them,
YOU WON'T mind
AND BESIDES.
I'M VERY sure.
The Washington times., 1920-11-04
g. EARD,nSEElfsa

Telephone message to H and 8 the
morning after the election: Just
saw Postmaster General BURLESON
walking solemnly down the avenue.
dressed In black. His umbrella. usu-
ally rolled tightly, was unwrapped,
as if carrying crepe" The District
will lose friend in ALBERT
BURLESON. When In the House he
did much for the District as chair.
man Of the House Committee on Ap-
propriations.
The Washington times., 1920-11-04
SOLVE THIS.

Dad and Ma and Bro. and Me,
The sum of our ages Is SO.
Six times Dads is seven times
Mas.
And she is three times Me.
SAP.
The Washington times., 1920-11-04

ior District suffrage, and has
;yiven them his approval. The
illinois Senator, while regis
tering his approval of the
committees drive for votes
for Washington, said:
1T is q question whether
the District can be given any
!orm of Statehood without the
consent of Maryland and per-
haps Virginia, the States that
coded portions Of their terri
tory for the establishment OF
the Federal Capital. In fact,
those States would have to
petition Congress to pass q
resolution submitting the mat
ter of proposed Statehood for
the District of Columbia to the
people of the United States
The Washington times., 1920-11-04
THE CHEERFUL MAN

Thank God for the man who Is cheer
full,
In spite of life's troubles, I say,
Who sings of brighter tomorrow
'"cause Of the clouds OF today.
lis life IL a beautiful sermon
\nd tn = IL the lesson to me:
Meet trials with smiles, and they
vanish
Face care with a song, and they flee.
This Is why we all like IL and q
1t smilos all the while. Il.
The Washington times., 1920-11-04
We TOWNE GOSSIP
Registered U. s. Patent Office
THAT LITTLE Buddie.
BY X. G. B.

THAT LITTLE Buddie.
WILL EXPECT it.
AND JUST now.
HE'S LEARNING to read.
AND ONE of his lessons.
IS THIS column.
AND SOME Of them.
HIS MOTHER clipped.
AND PUT in a book.
AND ONE time.
"hoiE OF Suooie.
AND l remember.
HOW GLAD she was.
AND WE were friends.
AND SOMEHOW.
l HAVE a feeling.
THAT WHEN it's over.
AND BUpDIE and chaps.
ARE ALL alone.
THAT BUDDIE will ask
DID UNCLE Ken.
WRITE SOMETHING
about mama"
AND l want Chape.
70 BE able to say.
YES, BUDDIE.
IT'S IN the book"
I THANK you.
The Washington times., 1920-11-04
Aurora and Hertxian Waves.

That auroras may be due to Hertzian waves
emitted by the sun 10 suggested by a scientist
who points out that most OF the suroras are
seen during the early hours OF the night, and
their splendor and number diminish toward
morning.
The Washington times., 1920-11-04
have often wondered why
the newspaper reports OF fu-
nerals and weddings frequently
read alike: THE church services
were quiet and private"
J. d. w.
TELEPHONE TRAVELS.

Miss Operator took trip to
CLEVELAND to see FRANKLIN. but
a, COLUMBIA was fairer she stopped
there and went WEST, The people
were so wild there she travelled to
MAIN (e), but 1t was not COD
enough. She then went NORTH
where II was so cold. she concluded
that HELLO In LINCOLN was best,
n. NJ. G.
The Washington times., 1920-11-04

as an amendment to the Constitution
Senator Sherman believes that bill for municipal
self with two delegates in Congress- be
easily accomplished by the passage of bill by the Senate
and House.
The Washington times., 1920-11-04
SOME SIGNS.

Placard at a moving picture show:
YOUNG CHILDREN MUST
HAVE PARENTS"
In a barber show window:
DURING ALTERATIONS pa
TRONS WILL BE SHAVED IN
THE BACK"
In q clothing store:
THESE PANTS WILL LOOK
BETTER ON YOUR LEGS THAN
ON OUR HANDS"
PEGGY BEE.
slim" HENDRIX writes US n
poem on the fckleness of girls
Whether it Is based on experience or
"Slim" does not say.
Inere was person named Cox
Who wanted to wear wiison's .ox
Did you hear the great hoIlar
When, with Wilson's collar.
They wrapped poor Cox in a box.
NICK WEST.
The Washington times., 1920-11-04
HIS CHOICE.

I'd rather be q Gould be"
u could not be an Are:
For Gould be" is a Maybe"
with a chance OF touching par.
I'd rather be a Has Been"
Than Might Have Been" by far.
For might Have Been" has never
been,
But Has" was once an "Arc."
KAY
The Washington times., 1920-11-04
Votes for Washington

Senator Lawrence Y. Sherman, chairman of the Dis
trct of Columbia Committee of the Senate, is fully
Cuained with the plans of the National Press Committee
The Washington times., 1920-11-04

DALLAS FRY reports that ED.
DIE NEIL, of Tech High, has paint
er's collie, while HAPPY N. reports
that DALLAS FRY. HARVEY
CHAPLIN, FRANK BAPTISTA and
WORTH WALKER of Tech High,
are addicted to some habits closely
resembling cakers.
The Washington times., 1920-11-04
THE OLD, OLD STORY.
u n m whIlH pa and Ma

Helped entertain, with sis,
John and Mary, In distant seats,
WE'RE FAR APART LIKE THIS,
Atep M. as Pa withdrew!
And sought his room upetrirs
The lovers found some photographs
And nearer brought their chairs,
At 10 p m Mamma deesmped,
And then, ye gods, what bliss,
Those lovers sat I'll nearly ]
ABoUTAsCLoSEAsT
UTE
The Washington times., 1920-11-04
OBITUARY.

Little Bennie Parker
Had q stomach pain.
Rhubarb and ipecac
Both were In vain.
He kicked the golden bucket,
HIS parents hearts are sore;
They'll bury him tomorrow
At a quarter to four.
The Washington times., 1920-11-04

] love to hit myself on the head.
Said tho little boy to his Pop.
The reason I like IL 81 well
Is that il feels so good when stop.
The Washington times., 1920-11-04

LENAH J. 7. recently saw this ad:
"For Rcnt--Furnished room to gen
tIeman sooking two ways and well ven.
ulated."
The Washington times., 1920-11-04
HER LETTER TO JIM.

HER LETTER TO JIM.
(By M
Dear jim: l am sending you
line; not a trolley line: not a car
line; just q line to let you know
that my heart. not a chicken
heart, not a birds heart, just
human heart. is longing for you,
not a foot long. not yard long
JUST ALL DAY LONG. NJ
A Northeast Vamp" says she and
her two pals are greatly impressed
with these Knickerbocker Club
football players in Georgetown:
DICK COLLINS, ARTHUR MICH.
OILS, "NIG" HARPER, DOC"
BIGGINS.
The League of Nations has chanted its
From Alpha to Omega it's precepts were
all wrong
while drowning politicians ysiniy sluns
mud,
AMERICANS sduattcd. with a dull thud
ON the selfish aspirations of the whole
inconsiderate throng.
The Washington times., 1920-11-04
JACK HoRNER TO DATE.

Little Willie Hays,
Never In a maze.
Was pinchcd to n fare -you-well,
Till he knocked in the stats
or the poor Democrats
And abolished the League sell.
NICK WEST.
Many contributors praise the beau
tiful poem Of M. s. p. of Laurel,
Md, in Mondays issue. FRED
SCHWAB says it has never been
equaled in H. and s.
The Washington times., 1920-11-04

SHORT AND SWEET.
s. w. says part Of this was print
ed in H and S, but she would like
to see it all:
Cold, honey?
Bout to freeze
Want my coGt, Noney!
yust the sleeves
Tired, honey?
Tired some
Wdnta 90 home?
No.
Love me, hon?
Love Nou some
Be my Wife?
Bet your life!
The Washington times., 1920-11-04

Mr.. Coolidge is now Vice President. which Is
etherizing q political career and the twilight
sleep of public office. He may be the hrst Vice
President to attract attention provided he rubs
phosphorus on his high hat.
The Washington times., 1920-11-04

The League Of Nations Is now one with yes
terday and nothing with tomorrow.
The Washington times., 1920-11-04

When questioned as to the result of the elec-
ton. which was as one-sided as a bowlegged
hobo's heels, the governor said some thing tha
sounded like an elephant stepping on a lobster's
back.
The Washington times., 1920-11-04

The Democratic party cracked open Election
Day with a prayer.
The Washington times., 1920-11-04

At midnight they were still sticking to thei
original statement.
The Washington times., 1920-11-04

Cox was defeated by eight million scattered
votes. II was a close The governor went
into the contest with the Endorsement Of the
Boy Scouts, who must have forgotten to go to
the polls.
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-02-27
"oH YOU WOMEN"
 GREETED BY BIG 4, s HOUSE AT COLISEUM

"Oh You Women" is a play in which a grave subject is humorously treated and affords an evening of splendid entertainment.
 One of the first thoughts that oc cured to the citizens of every com munity when the Great World War came to a close, was. what will happen to the boys when they come homo?
 Just as gigantic task as it was to prepare the mon to go overseas to fight for democracy, so, was it a gigantic task to- take care of the thousands when they came back to their homes. where they had necessar fly to be taken care of.
 The idea has not only been the subject for the thesis for many great writers. but 1t has been the back ground idea of one of the best mo tion pictures which has ever been produced and which has been placed on the market by the Famous Players f.asky Corporation as an Emerson Loos Paramount special
 Mir. Emerson, and Miss Loos have written and produced the best "after the war" material that this country has seen in motion pictures, but their latest production, "Oh You Women." which has it's basic idea "when the boys came home" is conceded to be the best satirical comedy that has ever been made for the screen.
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-02-27
F KIDNEYS ACT
 BAD TAKE SALTS
Says Backache Is Sign You Have Been Eating Too Much
 Meat

When you wake up with back ache and dull> misery in the kidney region it generally means you have been eating too much meat, says well-known authority. Meat forms uric acid which overworks the kid neys in, their effort to filter 1t from the blood and they become sort of paralyzed and loggy. When your Kidneys get sluggish and clog you must relieve them, like you relieve your bowels: removing all the body urinous waste, else you have back ache. sick headache, dizzy spells: your stomach sours, tongue is coat ed, hnd when the weather is bad you shave rheumatic twinges. The urine is cloudy, full of sediment
 chaHpels often get sore, water. scaldy and you are obliged to seek relief two or three times during the night.
 Either consult good. reliable physician at once or get from your pharmacist about four ounces of lad Salts; take a tablespoonful fin a glass of water before breakfast for a few days and your kidneys will then act fipe.s This famous salts is made from the acid of grapes and lemon juice, combined with lithia, and has been used. for gen. erations to clean and stimulate slug gish. kidneys, also to neutralize &C., ids in the urine So it no longer irri- tates, thus ending bladder weakness.
 lad Salts is life saver for reg ular meat eaters It is inexpensive, cannot injurc aud makes, 2 delight. ful. effervescent lithia-Hster drink
 -(Advertisement)
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-02-27
RIDERS OF THE PURPLE SAGE" AT PAEAcE SUNDAY.

Patrons of the Palace may look for ward to Sundays program when Riders of the Purple Sage" will be shown with William Farnum in the leading role. The scenes are laid ip Utah where Mormon Church lead CTS were trying to spread the tene, of polygamy. There are some start ling episodes and running through the picture is an absorbing love story that tells of the great love of strong man for a good woman.
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-02-27
MONEY FOR STUDENTS

STANFORD UNIVERSITY, CAL, February 25,-Approximately twenty five thousand dollars have been made available to Stanford students in the form of fellowships and scholarships, according to an announcement made by Registrars Office. Seventy-slX Stanford students are now receiving outside aid to help them through college which comes to them in this form
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-02-27
SENATOR. CURTISS FAVORS ...
 FREE TRADE FOR PAPER

WASHINGTON. Feb. 26.- 6.-Senator Curtiss of Kansas recommends to the Senate Finance committee the removal of duty on all print paper costing less than eight cents per pound and duty of 12 percent on paper costing more than eight cents per pound Ad- option of this plan will admit new paper supplies from Scandinavia
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-02-27
"THE EAGLES MATE" ATTRACTION AT
 COLISEUM SATURDAY.

Mary Pickford will be seen at the Coliseum Saturday in "The Eagles Mate. It is the story of a young man who shook off the shackles of ciyilization and leads lawless life among the moonshiners of Virginia E mountainous regions. Sheriff Nell's Tussel'' is the comedy which com pletes the bill.
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-02-27
BACK ACHE
llmber Up With Penetrating
 HamIins Wizard Oil

A harmless and effective prepara- ton to relieve the pains of Rheuma- tisn, Sciatica. Lame Back and Lum- bago is Hamlin's Wizard Oil It pen ctrates quickly, drives out soreness and limbers up stiff aching joints ana muscles.
 You have no idea how useful ii will be found in cases of every day ailment or mishap, when there is need of an, immediate healing. anti septic application, as in cases oi- sprains, bruises, cuts, burns, bites and stings.
 1, Get it from druggists for 30 cents. If not satisfied return the bottle and get your money back - Ever constipated or have sick headache? Just try Wizard Liver Whips, pleasant little pink pills. 3c cents. Guaranteed.
 Packing boxes for sale. Empiri
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-02-27
6ARucH WANTS DEMOCRATIC
 DELEGATES UNlNSTRUcTED

NEW YORK, Feb 26.-Bernerd M, Baruch favors the selection of unin' structed delegates to the Democratic National Convention, and denies that he is financing or backing any cand- idate for the Presidency, according to a Washington despatch, which adds he would not be a delegate at large from New Yark.
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-02-27

Packing boxes for sale. Empire
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-02-27
BRANDING BROADWAY SPLENDID NEW ROLE FOR BILL HART

At the Coliseum Sunday, Wm, s Hart will appear in Branding Broad way It is the story of early days in Arizona and tells of the surprise a westerner met when he met the girl. MT. and Mrs Sidney Drew in The Amateur Liar" present a deli ghtful farce.
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-02-27
Thanxi

Hehe's to Luke McLuke the care-free- Let &u proclaim his worth; He starts more funny poetry" Than any man on earth.
 Canton (Ohio) News.
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-02-27
MAN OF BRONZE IS 4 PICTURE
 ALL WILL ENJOY

Lewis s. Stone, who appears to night at the Palace in ''The Man or Bronze" is said to be particularly pleasing in this production, It IS a western picture, but is decidedly dlf- ferent from the usual run of photo plays based on the cattle country ranchers and the smaller Western cities. It is decidedly dramatic offering. and it tells very interest ing love story. Playing opposite MT. Stone in thas production is Mar guerite Clayson. one of the most pop ular picture players.
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-02-27
Aw, Gwanl

Salesman-Here you are, Madam. A fine Brussels carpet, fl by 14, only $120.1s. Can you beat 1t?
 Prospective Customer-No but my husband can.--Ball Crank.
The Alaska daily empire., 1920-02-27
Attractions ct The,a1te,1r:s

pALACE-"The. Man. of. Bronze Charlie Chaplin in "The Square Head" and Kilograms. ColiSEUM-"Oh, You Women" and an episode of "The Iron Claw also Comedy
Evening journal., 1920-02-04
palmer BACKS
SEDITION ACT
Legislation Necessary to
Combat Revolutionary In
tent, He Tell Committee

WASHINGTON. Feb. 4 UNITED Press.l
-Sedtion legislation is necessary "a
combat a condition OF revolutionary
intent in the country on the part Of
both aliens and citizens" Attorney Cen
eral Palmer told the House judiciary
committee today.
Palmer, outlining his position on the
proposed legislation. supported the
Dayey bin and opposed the Sterling and
Graham bills. which have already been
rejected by House leaders. He also
answered the arguments OF those who
oppose all sediti0n legislation and read
extracts from red" pamphlets threat
.en'ng revolution and murder OF public
officials.
Palmer declared "Reds" planned ac.s
Of violence for July 5, but ihSt The
demonstration was postponed until Sep
tenlbcr, and then changed = a still
later date. In every case, the Justice
Department prevented The carrying out
Of the pots.
Explaining his Views on the various
sedltion bills proposed, Palmer answered
charges that he had "cOld feet because
he failed TO appear before the House
rules committee. when It had the
Sterling and Graham bills under con-
sideraiion several days ago. These
charges were made by members OF the
committee.
Il did not attend the meeting because
I could not support the Graham and
Sterling bills but did not want 10 seem
TO oppose sedlilon legislation entirely.
More harm than good would come from
repressive legislation. We ought not
give an excuse for further melting to
violence. Right there is my objection
to the Sterling and Graham bills"
The making OF sedltious matter un-
Evening journal., 1920-02-04
SOVZETRJISSL4 WOJLDOPE.N
TRADE WITH UNITED STATES

WASHINGTON. Feb. a Omitted Press J
Soviet Russia today asked for open
ing OF trade relations with the United
States. The overtures were made by
Ludwig C. A. X Martens. soviet repre-
sentative in statement before the
Senate foreign affairs subcommittee.
Martens promised that any under
standing arrived at would be scrupu-
lously observed by his government.
Il want TO say that the economic In
ferests OF soviet Russia are a sufficient
ly binding guarantee that such under
s'ondings will be Observed Martens
stated. 1T IS In the interest of soviet
Russia and the United States. IL is
clear that any understanding Of mls
or any Other character. must be kept
lnvlol9te by the Russian soviet govern
ment. inasmuch as NE United States
would be free to break OF economic re-
lations In case Of Noncompliance.