The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1920-12-02

Deer Sanity Claus, don't think rite this letter
BecuI that I'm afrade you mite forget
To come around this yeer. for / know better
Becui you never hav forgot 70 yet ss4t.s
But last yeer whom You come. you no DeGf
50 Sxnty,
We had ! house that wus % big an. tall9
We had to move; and now fhe little shanty
We live N yos coald never md q I'll.
I'm riteing this account Of Brother LAddie;S
You oughta see-he's got the swetest smile!
He talks bout Chfisanus all The 9time. But
Daddy
He amt had no work for quite awhile
And he keeps tellin' me must be cheerful
And be q brave girl and mustn't cry
For Ladies' sake becuz he's sorta fearful
;, That this yeer mebbe you will pass US BY.
Deer Sanity, please, you mustn't think I'm
tryin''
To- tell you something SO that you will bring
A gift to me but will feel like. cryin'
II Laddie he don't get single thing!.
As for us bigger folks, you needn't mind us
But if you got a toy you want to give
To Laddie and you don't no how to find US
Just ask The Argus whereabouts we live.
LET US hasten to inform palpitant public
that c. Sharpe Minor has just joined the or
chestra OF the. California theatre, San Fran
cisco. He probably lives in a fat. however, in
common with other mortals win someone
please submit his name to B. L. T.. that Mr..
Minor be given his proper niche the Academy
of Immortality
THE Sharpe Tor Minor, according to your
taste) wheeze is supplied by E. F., who has
been unaceountably absent from this Plateau
of Pifhe for some weeks She is, however, by
way Of being "the perfect contrib" who never
appears unless she has something Of absorb
ing interest to communicate" p
Golden Opportunity for Now Idle
Political Spellbfnders.
(From the New York Worid). :
ADDRESSERS, those with previous
| experience preferred: rate $2.75 per thou
sand. Apply 18th floor, Funk & Wag-
nails Co., 1854 4th Ave.
BENEATH the caption "Humor by Wire"
The Argus records the fact that James p.
Kelly, Y, wealthy rancher, who Travelled from
Argentina to Boston just to vote for Harding,
is bound for South America and hopes to ex-
change wireless greetings with the president
elect" Perhaps the humor lies in his wholly
unnecessary trip to cast his vote.
POSTCARD.
Dear Mother: will my readers please excuse
know you think oughta have lickin'
Aha don't blame you. Go ahead-abuse me.
1 should .haye told you that ! got shat
| chicken!
MARRIED in Davenport: Harvey Buck En-
erson, LoanOke, Ark, and Ophia May Money
maker, Kuttana, Ky. But she married him for
love- we understand.
How Does One Give sContemporaneous
Snort?
(From the Monmouth Atlas).
y Whenever an elderly woman is read
ing and gives . contemporaneous snort,
1t means that in the story the heroine has
Just rejected the hero because he is rich.
THE seventh plank in the Illinois State
Registers platform for Springfeld' reads:
"A high grade, fully equipped institution OF
Learning or university for Springfield" And
for years we've thought university an "insti-
tuition Of Learning" Gosh! fella learns some
thing every day. what!
"POSTELNYK hesitated and then as If a
great fear came over him." breathes the Daven-
port Democrat, ''he timidly handed over the
weapon and score of others who were brought
to the scene by the noise"
Near the beginning Of the same story an
inspired compositor makes it "the demented
sword yielder." No wonder he was demented.
MR.. SCREECHFIELD (as we surmise tt
be the opinion of Mr. Huntoon) Is accented OF
the first syllable R. e. MIG.