Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1920-02-19
TAs Heights u C1ltGrA
(By Charlotte Beclkef).

Ths HeigAts q C1ltnrA
(By Charlotte Becksr).
Nrs. Poopycock who always
Yearns to do the proper thfngA
went to hear learned lecture
L On should Apes Wear Wedding Rings?'
Carefully she watched the faces
OF those listeners most worth WHILE"
Lest she be the least in error
II to frown or II to SMILE
when she lunched With ME- Hybrow.
And her eager hostess cFied,
wasn't that charming disoourse!"
'Lovely!- Mrs. p. replied.
And at tea with Mrs. Frivol.
Where the -smartest danes decfeed.
Heavens, but that man was stupid!"
VERY" Mrs P. agreed. =
But when she came home to dinner,
And her husband query made
II Professor Punk was bofeeome.
Or was worth the price she paid!
Mrs Poppycock, contented,
Dropped her poses and avefred
She had been 50 busy watching
That she never heard . word.
i, Wonder what would be George Washing
toms sentiments on the League Of Nations!
No reason at all why our vice president,
Tom Marshall, shouldn't throw his hat in the
presidential ring. There's always room for
one more, and the more the merrier.
%
The new officers OF the Rock Island baseball
association are going to make things hum in
baseballdom. Besides their records as war
riors they're a mighty good looking bunch.
judging from their pictures.
~
To Cut II. c. L.
|. Mother: rob, Freddie, thought you were
going to economic and here you are with both
butter and jam on your bread
"Sure, mother One piece Of bread does for
both.
We understand some of the boosters Of tho
Boy Scout movement have gotten themselves
into trouble by doing the dishes for +. W. last
week Now it seems they are expected to keep
the good work going. That's the way with
precedents. they're the very dickens to keep
up, that is such precedents as dishwashing.
"Say 1t with fowers"-that's what We say.
And by all that's sensible. sentimentalsor SYM
pathetic why not say il, NOW? Why wait for
some catastrophe like an anniversary or mar.
riage?
Chauffeur: The power behind the thrown.
~
"Just tell them that you saw me and they
will know the rest" whispered father to his
diminishing savings account.
We have no time for levity
We have no time for fun
II we would beat old H. C. L.
We have to make the mon"
%
Keep the home fires burning'-spring isn't
here yet and the pipes are liable to freeze If
the fire is allowed to go out!
! Not Particular.
She was pleasant faced African with a
! matter of some two or three hundred pounds
| 10 her avOirdupois credit, and she knocked i'm
peratively at the front door Of one of our
| modest homes not long ago and said
"Mornin', missis jes' heard you all wants
| someone to do your wsshin. Now, l amt no
washer woman. is allies been too delicate
like, but my old mans got lumbago in es back
this winter SO Is sided to help little I kin
do your cloes so all yer nabers will be jellus.
1 kin come about or 9 in the mornin' and
stay with you all day. kin do all you wants
done All the specifications wants to asst is
! tnat L nave cup not Cohee Inc HrSI tnlng
when I gets here: and then long about ten I
likes little chicken broth and a couple o.
ham sandwiches Tor egg sandwiches will do
] If yous amt got the ham handy. You don't
need to go to no fuss fer me fer dinner, Meth
er. likes plain stewed chicken and dumplins'
or steak and hot biskits. When you alPs
havin' washin' done knows you don't want
to cook much. I'm delicate like but is not
hard to cook foh."
That1l be all for today