South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1920-11-07
Consider This Snabby Football Game
With Ha9ua4d Us. The House of DaUid

crosses to the home bench, having the
Harvard side for fear being with the losing OF
deal and after chuckling congratulations for
offers to bet $40 them if they maintain their
lead until two minutes before the of the game
The police receive "A riot when a Harvard is
caught in the act Of sharpening his trousers
and the chief gives him a lecture sportsmanshp.
Mr. Scully I'm the
I forgot to say Of respect for John D. that
meanwhile crowd has been surging around him and
the Harvard players are meanwhile they laughed
at To think that small city Of 10000 inhabitants
could beat college Of 5000 unbelievable
and the Harvard players swear, that unless they win
the story of the shall not be printed in the Har
Bureau. reply they
care for the South Bend News-Times has eight re-
porters the game. surely will keep
until the finish of the game
a change in lineup is announced the
take the field for the second half Hercules
David appear fresh in cur backfeld might add for
fear OF later hyPerbolns that Hercules is the largest
and David the smallest man on squad The Har
a guilty conscience and
reason Is soon apparent when our men, after receiving
the ball. get set for their first play WeiSberger Of
Harvard is caught trying TO Moneys beard with
pair OF scissors and the fasteners Immediately
penalized carrying concealed weapons. 7rst
down and three NIulligan tiny center,
ceeds i'm making his opponent partly swallow his
beard, and that
held tight. to the appendage and said appendage
not more than three feet long, he would surely
have scored another touchdown.
Thus far beth teams have used straight football
much the Harvard deny
quarterback calls a string of numbers he suddenly
SAYS IN English 'Hammerthrower' Immediately Her
cules. who is the hammerthower back.
ing little David by the beard swings him the ball
around his head and the Harvard goal for a
touchdown.
"Way Down East"
Monstrous applause greets this feat. and realizing
that they have taken undue advantage Harvard
side agrees not to count the although
there is plenty of proof that Hercules . hamper
thrower. Kisses and cries of Give the babies the
game" hurled at the appreciatve Harvard squad.
Some raving fan yellS Join the Way Down East Com
pany." which although intended sarcasm, really
Elected the local theater management staging
that show The fan explained after the game TO the
nqurng reporter that he for the visiting
home.
The Harvard coach realizes that his men are in
highly nervous condition. and rather than
with the popuace of that place possibly suspectng
that the have been TO South Bends West End. the
coach puts in entirely fresh lineup. should have
the Harvard men Immediately hurl the most insulting
remarks at the home On the first Harvard
tempt carry the ball both teams purport snarl
each other and cries OF We don't play freshmen"
shouted az the newly installed fasteners Then time is
taken while the referee draws distinction in elg
Utility rules governing the playing Of freshmen and
fresh The Harvard team being collegians
naturally slow srasping the rulings and they
penalized five minutes for arguing false premises
The third quarter spent
The Final Episode.
both teams the final quarter and home
stretch the Harvard men unConsciOusy humming
Home Sweet Home in English and the sadness Of the
the referee dedicate
OF sympathy 10 the suffering Harvarditos. The cap
the visiting team ObjeCtl 10 this procedure but
his objection is overruled by the keeper
Any person who does not know why Harvard is
called the Crimson would do we'll TO look the
blushing they take the ball their
4O-yard line Determined finish the remaining Is
the ball 10 yards a fake l1rber play. but their
eagerness had made them offsde and they make