The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1920-10-15
Upper Puts On a Sub
SHORT STORY . :. By sEWELL FORD


where this critical assistant of mine
is shufflin' his feet impatient while
I'm windin' up half-hour session with
a regular, what you got on your
mind?"
PARTY waitin' to see you," says
he.
Not a Bill Hilton, you understand.
Oh, no. In spite of the baggy gray
suit with the fringed cuffs and all the
grease stains, and the two days beard,
and the unprintable shirt, Swiftly al
most falls for Bill. / can't say whe-
Their it's Bills size, or the jutty chin,
or the odd way his hair is frosted up.
Maybe it's the combination. Anyway,
Swiftly seemed impressed with him
from the start, noddin towards teh
front office.
(Which party?" says l. Demo
cratic, Republican, Prohibition, or
"Ahr-r-r chez" breaks in Swiftly.
"You know-the guy with the gray
streak through his front hair and the
shifty eyes; the one that was in here
last week that you was goin' to try to
place somewhere"
"Oh!" says l. "Bil Hilton? Well,
park him in chair over by the win
dow and tell him to wait. He won't
mind. That's the easiest thing he
does. Besides, amt quite finished
with Mr.. Upper"
"Huh!" grunts Swiftly, indicatin'
aim in life was to find somebody that
would stand for a touch he don't
quite get rid of the idea that Hilton
amt parsonage in disguise.
"Must have been somebody once" "
insists Swiftly.
Eyes, he was" I admits. "Ten or
dozen years ago Ell was head bar
tender in the old Gilsey House, and
before that he used to travel around
with my manager, Skip Rooney, as
rate man. Always had the box tickets
to collect, until Skip found out how
crooked he was and tied the can to
him. Oh, yes, he's some guy, Bill
Hilton. That is, if you're judgin' by
weight and looks"
And then this Mr.. Murdoch Upper,
who comes in and pays us real money
to be put through a gentle, ladyilke
course of apparatus work in the hopes
that he can get to sleepin' more'n
four hours a night and be. able to eat
something besides crackers and milk
why, Swiftly can't even look at him
without curlin' his lip. Honest can't
trust Swiftly to toss the medicine ball
at him for fear he'll show his contempt
too plain, or maybe smear Upper
against the wall with a quick delivery.
"Huh!" Swiftly will remark. "That
chinless shrimp!"
Which amt quite fair. Upper has
got a chin; the rudiments of one, any
way. Maybe it does fade into his neck
kind of abrupt, as if the material had
given out just at that point, but it's
almost half-portion chin. Even has
a cleft in it. Besides, Upper makes
up in nose what he lacks below. It's
a long, pointed nose, with a joint near
the middle SO that you could almost
expect him TO wiggle the lower half
l don't suppose he really can, though
I've never caught him at it.
Course, with features like that
Upper has a pair of narrow set eyes,
a set of airplane ears, and a promi.
nent Adams apple. I'll admit it does
give him kind of a pifflin, Insignificant
look. First off l had him sized up
about the way Swiftly does. But by
degrees / discovered that there was
more or less to Murdoch Upper. He
talked quite sensible and not too much
seemed to have a good disposition,
and was quick at pickin' up hints.
Besides, look at who he was in a
business way. oh, don't mean he had
Wall Street eatin' out of his hand or
anything like that. But here he'd come
from some little middle West burg
without pull and without friends, and
was maxim good. More'n that, he had
his net spread for something big, He
told me about it, after we got better
acquainted, one day when asked him
what his idea was in huntin' up the
Physical Culture Studio.
"You know you amt exactly built
for rough-house stunts, says l. Amt
trainin' to punch somebody in the jaw
are you, Topper
ooh, my mol" says Upper. Il
wouldn't if l could, you know, But
l simply have theory that the brair
functions better if the body is in good
physical condition. And 1 don't wan
to be handicapped by indigestion wher
am trying to put through big DEAL
"Vou got the correct done Tupper'