The Penn's Grove record., 1920-03-19
WET AND DRY CLASSICS
and Real Joys and Griefs
Portrayed by Famous Language
Artists

On Saturday evening, March 9th, in
a hotel in Atlantic City a DRY DIN
ner' was rendered Governor Edwards
and the Legislature owe the passage
Of the $50 beer bill. While it had
che spirit OF rejoicing, yet in reality 1t
was an Irish wake ove the departure
II John ~Barleycorn, whose spirit they
iryl.t communed Wlth.
alexander Simpson, Senator from
Hudson county, gave a fulsome eulogy
to a bottle OF champagne, after the
manner of Robert G.. lngersoll, che
greatest infidel in the past generation.
ne excited the imagination of his hear
,ars to the picture OF butterflies rush
ing from the sparkling beverage. he
said:
"There is a pop, a note of joy, as
if a window OF Heaven had opened.
into the glass rushes the love OF the
butterflies, the music of the birds, the
Moonlight, the dews, and above all, the
.nduring glory of the sui You raise
The glass to your lips and the little
beaded bubbles wink at you at the
brim: it courses into your veins and,
if YOU have any soul at all, you are a
brother to the gods, and yet there are
people so dreadful that they think they
can stop this. Their visage is a con-
tinual challenge to joy, their favorte
yehicle is a hearse. They think they
can obstruct the law of God with h
laws of man. AS well might they try
to nick the stars from Heaven or stop
the sun in it's course; you may hlnder
US, but you can't stop US"
A Reminder
That reminds us of Poor Robert In
gersoll !! What good he might nav
done With superior talents SHOWN
in his profession and his politics he
a co-worker with some of those
who doubt the existence of a personal
God. blaspheme the Bible, and sup
port various hurtful associations.
His eulogy of whiskey was sent with
whiskey to n of his friends; IL
shows his wonderful mastery of the
English language.
In~gersOlFs EulOgy of Whlskey
81 send you some of the most Won
derful whiskey that ever drove. the
skeleton from the feast or painted
landscapes in the brain of man. 1t l.
the mingled souls of wheat and corn.
In it YOU will find the sunshine ar
shadow that chased each other over
the billowy fields, the breath OF June,
the carol of the lark, the dew OF the
night, the wreath of summer n au-
tumn's rich content, all golden with
imprisoned light. Drink it, and you
will hear the voice of men and maid
ems singing the Harvest Home MN
gled with the laughter OF
Drink it, and you will feel within your
blood the startled dawns, the dreamy,
dusks of perfect days. For
forty a this liquid joy has been
within slaves of oak, longing to touch
the lips of man."
DIR. Buckley's Answer
DR.. James NJ. Buckley, who died in
Morristown, three weeks ago, and for
80 a editor Of the Christian Ad-
answered Mr.. Ingersoll as fol-
lows: 81
"Having seen the baleful results OF
whiskey in the inmates OF the AIMS
house, insane asylums, hospitals and
and in the tragic deaths n
The more tragic lives of some OF my
bovhood and manhood acquaintance,
and in the utter degradation and DIS
lntreeation OF famlnes once wealthy
and respected, | wrote and published
the following, which, if less rhetorical
than the eulogy, has the merit OF
The Direful Work of Whiskey
81 send YOU some of the most Won
ierful whiskey that ever brought a
skeleton into the closet or painted
Genes of lust and bloodshed in the
brain of man. 1t is the ghosts OF
wheat and corn crazed by the loss OF
,heir natural bodies. In it you will
ind a transient sunshine chased by a
shadow as cold as an arctic mldnlght
in which the breath of June grows icy,
and the carol of the lark gives place
70 the 1oreboding cry OF che raven.
"Drink it, and you shall have woe,
sorrow, 'babbling,' and wounds with,
out cause; your eyes shall behold
strange women and your heart shall
utter perverse things Drink it deep,
and YOU shall hear the voices OF de-
mons shrieking, women walllng, ana
verse than orphaned children mourn
the loss of a father who yet nVes.
Drink it deep and long, and serpents
will hiss in your ears, coil themselves
about your neck, and seize you with
their fangs; for at last it biteth like
a serpent anG stingeth like an adder
For forty years this liquid death a
heen within slaves of oak, harmless
there as purest water. l send it to
Q that you may put an enemy IN
your mouth to steal away your am
And vet | call myself your friend"
The Allied warships and troops v