The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1920-10-02
PRESIDENTS
( INAUGURAL, PARADE
SCENE N 'wA.Al!NeroN WHEN i
: MAN RIGHTEOUSNESS BIRTH
= RIGHT TO .WhiTE HOUSE. !

| = RIGHT TO :WHITE HOUSE.
Shades of Belva Lockwood!-w
may wake" UP on the morning ate
the presidential election in 1924 O
1873 to find that woman has beef
elected president OF these states!
IL 9 more thrilling still, we may all b,
1ned ,:up on, Pennsylvania avenue il
Washington at noon on March a, 1872!
! OF: l929stp see woman in touring ca,
on herswayito take the oath of off1c.
not only1as the first lady of this land
but Of any land!
,lTherenwilli be an inaugural parade
(which will record something new il
litlcal styles under the, sun, write,
EBenjamin de ;Casseres in the New
York, Times. -: -:
1t will record the triumph, Of the
| bonhon over the cheroot. -,
It will mark the triumph of intuition
over the: derby. 1T. 1872
1t will" commemorate the triumph
fof the soprano over the baritone.
On that day the high heel and the
" neck shall have conquered, the low
brow and the roughneck. :,
It will be the millinery millennium
and the annus magnus of duds.
Let mere man-who has been every.
thing in his time, from the first lord
Of creation to the last Of the Mohi.
leans visualize that, unique inaugural
procession. between *ssthe. capitol and
tthe White House. ... :. ~.... ;. .
WIN BE a World, Event. >-, ;
t.: :
|. Il. will be aSEwoman,s parade Of
course: AT this waterloo Of pants
Fplaee' aux fenmes!' We men may be
permitted to look on from behind the
show windows Of candy shops and ice
cream Dars.. 49,. s., =
At most, I'VE may hope for reseEva-
tions on the stands and. at the win.
dows of masculine relatives .and hus-
bands of the Teaker sex. 4
When this highly probable: pageant
takes place>we can: wager twill be. a
world event And why not? Will it
not be the visible triumph of Eve over
Adams pay envelope?
Fanfare down the avenue from the
woman's mounted police division of
the metropolitan lady police of the
District OF Columbia. Not the regula-
ton call of 1--WE can't get 'em up!
We can't get 'em up" but Hail!
Hail! the bangs all here! What the
rouge do we care! What the chapeau
do we care!"
Then the grand battalion Of debt
known officially as the charge-account
division.
The heroines of thousand and one
soap boxes will follow. flanked by the
6adsguaEd1of hunger strikers, carrying
banners: Eve starve, but never sur
render!".
|. ! Then the. lady Of the hour, the first
woman ever sentenced by popular
Fvotetto say II veto.''
BY her side Is seated the last mas
culine president Of the great republic,
a poor repealed law, shrunken to a
query; cowed, canned and corked, for
"home: consumption only" =.
From his seat he waves wan fare
well to his own sex stalled behind the
avenues soda fountains.
The rest of the parade is fairly easy
to imagine. Every country will be
represented, including Hollywood,
CAL.
| Soubrettes from the kraals of South
Africa and midinettes from Paris will
march. side by side with Amazons
from Monte Carlo and feminine Per-
roses from Tunis.
Fat cannibal ingenues from darkest
Africa will walk hand in hand with
wispy movie queens from the Shet-
land islands.
The vast line will be closed up with
the United and Invincible Order of
Tapjack Swimmers from the Cafes
des Enfants. 80
Lady Astor will circle above the
city iii giant Caproni, out of which
at precisely IL noon Horatio Bottom
ley, tied hand and foot, will be com
PEELED to do a parachute.
| Barring few fantastic details, the
above is the likeliest event in this
country in. the near future. With the
| voting power in the hands of any.
where from 100000 to $1,000, 000
| women of voting age, what is more
probable than the formation of q
woman's national party with a candi
date for president Of their own in the
field? ...
| Conced1ng that all but few million
voters will vote for their own candi
date and that millions OF us mon will
be compelled to vote for her with the
threat of losing our home brewed
meals and other things II we don't
I'VE shall surely see the election of q
woman president in our life time
barring motor car and burglar acct
dents. = -. ~.-..