The Chattanooga news. [volume] (Chattanooga, Tenn.) 1891-1939, 1920-07-24

DuI huS bCDIhb 10 HANE tH0 nNthAUCt
Of the jury, all right.
Bob-Young spendlots says his motor
boat Is the best on carts.
Guy-Yes, he's probably right on that
point. In the water it's certainly
joke.
The traveller was on iler way to see
her old school in Westchester to give a
little Greek play, a fanciful thing. hav-
ing to do with the mental and spiritual
soarings OF man. the English interpre-
tation being entitled Birds of Fancy"
Wishing to familiarize herself with the
lines, she took with her a translation.
intending to read II thoroughly when
she was on the train. But the man
beside her wanted to talk. He was not
flirtatious. and even presumptuous. He
just wanted little friendly CONVERSE
ton. He spoke OF the snowbanks,
which seemed SO slow in melting, called
attention to the Palisades and became
enthusiastic about the coming beauty OF
the woods when the dogwoods finally
consented to blossom. The nomad was
unresponsive. She wanted to read and
she did not want to talk. At last the
man. who who could see only the top OF , the
appeared in big type the single word.
Birds" thought he had hit upon n
subject that would gain him attention.
Leaning forward a little he said, hope
l6SSly. Il Stt tIdt yOus llhc stIis arc
very much interested in ornithology."
An English author one day found in
his mail n letter from a French count
suggesting collaboration in the writing
of drama, the author to get the
pecuniary. benefits and the count to
The former sent the following an
swer:
"Sir l am not in the habit of har-
Messing horse and an ass to my car
riage. l regret. therefore, that I can
not accept your amiable proposition"
The count in his turn wrote:
'Sir. your note refusing to join me
in literary work it at hand, or course.
you are at perfect liberty to refuse SO
advantageous an offer, but ! forbid
your calling me horse in the future"
The two extra specialists had pounded
him and sounded him and felt his
pulse and tapped his frame till ne could
only lie In cold perspiration of fear.
Undoubtedly it's a case of Appendix
citis! said specialist No. 1, gravely.
Undoubtedly" assented specialist
No. 2.
opemtion?" pondered specialist No. /.
"Ah, would he?" echoed No. 2.
They dug him in the ribs again, and
hC SqucdlCus
"Ah," remarked No. /. II think we
ought to let him get bit stronger
before we cut into him.
whats the idea" gasped the pa
tient. starting up. "Wshat do you take
me for-cheese?"
Senator Thomas ]. Walsh OF Mon
tina, and his secretary were returning
from late session of the senate one
night by way of the merry go round
motor that runs through the subway.
This queer, though reputed to he lux
urious. motor car makes more noise
than an airplane. and In the clatter and
noise one usually sits with closed eyes
until whizzed through to the other end.
On this particular occasion, however.
two deaf mutes. utterly unconscious of
the din. sat conversing easily on the
front seat. Senator Walsh watched their
fingers fly. fascinated Leaning over to
his secretary. he yilIed in his good ear:
miles. they've got it on us. after all.
haven't they" But in few minutes
he followed it up gleefully with: Say,
Miles, where'd they be in the dark.
thought"