Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-08-16

Villa has requested the Mexican
government to send him some school
books. Strikes us that Villa has CIV
en- the Mexican government more ed
ucation than it can ever give him.
There's this difference between Ire
land and Mexico--in the former land
there are more policemen to shoot.
+ POKER PORTRAITS. -a
Concerning William J. McMutt
It's difficult to sing in praise
He is a cheerful looser but
He very, very seldom pays.
No four Irishmen seem able to
agree on what they want, but gosh,
how each Of them does want It!
And IL Ireland does win her free
dom, we suppose the next thing she'll
do will be to find 2 lost province
floating around somewhere.
POKER PORTRAITS.
|
ed
Upon the head Of Robert weeven
Who after cleaning off the board,
Remarks. We'll came out just
even."
Lloyd George pronounces the name
of the archbishop of Australia with
the accent on the last syllable.
CONCERNING PRONUNCIATION.
We gaze on Russia's victory
With just modicum Of rapture
We very grateful are that we
Don't have to say what towns they
capture.
Abdul Medjid Effendi, heir appar-
cnt Of the Turkish throne, has re-
nounced his rights to the crown. We
hereby renounce our right to be
blown up by q bomb without prev
ious notice and our privilege OF be-
ing chopped up into small pieces by
a chorus Of bolsheviki.
There are unfounded reports that
the Canadian Club yacht which Will
be the next challenger for the Amer
ica's cup will be christened the
Shamrock and Rye.
China believes in open doors OPEN
ly arrived at.
The increase in railroad rates will
add heavily to the expenses of the
president of the Irish Republic"
The average commuter having
surveyed the new railroad fare
schedule. has decided that the inter-
state commence commission has q
one track mind.
The Charley Chaplin family broke
up presumably because Charley does
not like the custard pies his wife
makes.
President Huerta, Of Mexico, obvi-
ously purposes to tie the cantu
Cantu.
That baby was baptized on a
girder fourteen stories above the
street so that he shouldn't get vertigo
when he lamped the high cost Of liv-
ing.
There are about 1892, o00, 900 peo-
pie in the world. OF these something
like 4,390,219 reside in Ireland-or
about ohe-fourth of per cent. From
the noise arising from Erin we had
assumed that at least Is per cent Of
the world was Irish.
On the other hand there's Russia,
where 100000 communists control a
nation Of 12o,000,ooO people. The
tail wags the dog ana what's more
bites it.
How many railway settlements a
year do we have In these United
States anyway?
! 1t would be an interesting novelty
if some Of the characters in the
newspaper comic strips would fall
over frontwards.
And half of the men who write
bedtime stories for the newspapers
don't know how the other half man
ages to keep themselves awake.
The bolsheviki used thousands OF
Tartars in their latest drive against
Poland. The Poles appear to have
caught a number Of them.
Anyway, the bolsheviki seems to
have skinned all the suds off Pilsud-
ski.
However, a buffer state is only
state which every other power strips
to the buff.
Bryan's heart may be in the grave
but it may be expected to turn over
a number of times during the cam
paign. 81
Sometimes we've been good deal
worried at the thought of going to
heaven for fear that there won't be
anybody else there.
F. r. v.
Only one OF the eight plate glass
plants in Belgium was damaged In
the war. ..-
n u ( p. ? ~ b