davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1920-09-10
THE .CAkIE" is NO noon.

At the time of the abandonment OF
fig leaves as the latest thing In wearing
apparel there were doubtless those
highly self-suffcient critics who COM
planned of tho 'freakishncss" OF the
new Gigantassurus skin outfits affected
by the young bloods OF the period. But
sooner or later, as did their descend
ants right on down through the ages
OF msntles, tunics, knickerbockers, etc,
they all Joined the crowd on the band
wagon, even as will those who In our
time bleat so vociferously against
whatever innovations in clothing,
among other things, youth may adopt
as its own.
As for the alleged general caddisr
Of sakers, certainly the twin ianoram-
uscN who Saturday evening took ad-
vantage of my inability to challenge
them because OF the presence of a lady,
marks at myself twho cake eater
though ! may be, have earned my own
living since I was fourteen years OF
age, and OF late a fairly good one at
thsD, from the seat behind In a street
car. although I had offered them no
offense other than that OF minding my
own business, could not have qualified
as members Of the much bcrated breed
Nor could have the four hoisterous fools
who few weeks ago disturbed an en-
tire car full OF people, In sharp con-
trast with the gentlemanly unobtrusive-
ness OF four other young fellows vhs
had all the earmarks OF cakies. prov
ing that boorishness Ia not confined 10
one camp. q. ~
The Washington times., 1920-09-10
Wherein Copenhagen
Is Unique.

Practically every large city in
the world has a geological garden,
but the city of Copenhagen is
unique in that 1t possesses
municipal deer park. This, more
over. Is the largest of it's kind any
where. covering 4,20O acres.
The Washington times., 1920-09-10
"Bugs'' Baer
Alfalfa Laughing.

The goldenrod is our national
flower and is being saluted with
sneezes all over the works. Sep
tember is the month for third in
stallments of income taxes and first
installments of hay fever.
The sneezing Olympics start this
week and are booked solid for two
months. The disease is very mys-
terious, and no doctor knows why
he charges Ave dollars for a visit
when he used to soak us two.
1t is also known as alfalfa
asthma, timothy catarrh. and clover
laughing. Less intricate labels are
pollen pyrotechnics, weed shifting,
and straw quincy. America leads
the world in hay fever. There are
eighty varieties of goldenrod in this
battle-taxed country and only one
in Europe The same ratio holds
good with the battle taxes.
Goldenrod grows best in low
marshy land near real estate
agents. 1t generally affects citizens
who are trying to buy their own
homes:
The first symptoms OF stubble
fever is slight sneezing lasting
about three hours, daylight saving
time. 1t generally starts on the
5:15 and can easily be mistaken for
cinder asthma. The commuter in
the next seat looks at you like a
foreign diplomat and then joins the
community chorus.
The guy in front shifts the air
like revenue agent near a bonded
warehouse. decides to change his
braDf of cigarettes, and then tops
your sneeze with a robust nasal
tenor. The hay panic is on.
Call the doctor right away. He
can't cure il, but he will help you
to share it.
That takes some OF the burden
off your nose. Avoid whisk brooms,
breakfast food, or anything else
packed with hay.
Along about November the alfalfa
snorting will gradually fade away.
On November 4 all the political hay
favorites who have been suffering
from straw votes will be cured.
Don't drink home brew through
a straw, boil all air thoroughly,
and snceze at all times through the
nose.
The Washington times., 1920-09-10
The Origin of
Playing Cards.

The origin Of playing cards is one
OF the things enshrouded in mys-
terry There IL a pack in the British
Museum known to be over 1000
years old, and there were Chinese
playing cards in the twelfth CEN
tury.
The Washington times., 1920-09-10
What Does Article X Mean?
Answered By Senator Gore
HERE is ARTICLE X.

"The members Of the League undertake to IesPed ana
preserve against external aggression the terorai ieg
and existing political Independence OF all members inc League
of aggression in Of threat or dan
ger aggression the Council shall advise upon the means
by which this obligation shall be fulfilled"
By THOMAS p GORE,
United States Senator Kvom Oklahoma
Article imposes 10Th legal and moral obhga-
ton on the United States to defend the territorial nde
pendence of every nation earth that joins the League
of Nations. To say that Congress would have TO de-
The Washington times., 1920-09-10
A Lake of Soda .

In British East Africa, Lake Mag
adj. famous for it's vast deposits OF
soda, ordinarily looks as II frozen.
The Lake cqCtains millions of tons
OF soda deposits, which extend
thousands of feet below tho bottom
of the lake bed.
The Washington times., 1920-09-10
OUR CAKES pEpIND TINE.

Washington cakes are far behind
the times. During the last month l
have travelled extensively In the East
est states, and have discovered that
the cake eaters OF Reading, Pa. are
the most fashionable
The cakics OF the famous Pretzel
city have lapels on their coats about
ten inches wide and semi-circular IN
shape. Under the coats they wear
red or maron hucd vests.
jim r.
The Washington times., 1920-09-10
Remember, clothes don't make
the man. They break him.
PAUL WHITE.

Can't you help US, Bill, to get soms
new jazz music out at Congress
Heights. The floor is great, and il
they had good music they would
have some crowd. DEW.
The Washington times., 1920-09-10
SOME THOUGHTS.

None so blind as those in autos
A woman's vocabulary is no larcer
than mans, but she works II harder.
Cut flowers never come at cut
prices.
feet. some acquire them, and others
have cold feet thrust upon them.
SYLVAN r. r
The Washington times., 1920-09-10
ESSAY ON PANTS.

Pants are made for men and not for
women. Women are made for men
and not for pants. Pants are like
molasses they are thinner in hot
weather and thicker in cold weather.
There has been much discussion as to
whether pants Is singular or plural.
Seems to us that when men wear pants
IL is plural and when they don't wear
pants II is singular. II you want to
make the pants last, make the coat
FIRST" q. ii. I.
The Washington times., 1920-09-10
"HEINE" inquiries if the Home
Made Caker" spent all of that II
cents in one place.
GIVE 'EM A CHANCE. COPS:

How did those X street, ~ E.,
boys and girls become expert
skaters" when they cant stand two
minutes before cop chases them
away? Probably they mean expert
running" There ought to be place
for us to skate. and the cops have
no business meddling with us so
r,uch S. and II.
The Washington times., 1920-09-10
A Curious Oriental Custom.

\ curious idea among the Bur
mcsc is that people born on tho
same day OF the week must not
marry, and II they do defy tho
fates their union will be marked by
much III luck.
The Washington times., 1920-09-10
Here, boys, tell me thtsi
what's there in n kiss:
JEAN.

recommend these places to black
smiths who may be going on a va
cation trip: Smithsville, Anneville
Valley Forge, Horseshoe Bend, Mus
sci Shoals. HARPER'S FERRY.
The Washington times., 1920-09-10

Mr. Hudson formerly attorney for the claims and
property protection section of the Railroad Administration
He firmly of the opinion that the United States Supreme
Court will overu the decisions of the local courts declaring
the Ball law unconstitutional And until the highest
acts the situation in the District will continue
to be chaotic with landlords having the whphand and
able if unfair and greedy, to Cypress and harass their
tenants
The Washington times., 1920-09-10

Clients Of hine whose rents are
high enough have been demanded
to pay an increase in one apart
ment Of 81 per cent, in another of
rs per cent, another of 85 per cent,
and in one Of 100 per cent; there
are nunSsrs at from 10 to So per
cent increases.
Msst Of these increases are
clainsed on account of cost Of coal,
which is based on a false premise
and is absolutely untenable, for
q any apartment house owner or
other person can buy bituminous.
coal at $3.50 or $500 per ton at
the mines. ! have been buying
coal since some time in August
for clients of mine, paying only
$3.50 per ton at the mines and the
railroads have delivered it as
needed; consequently any landlord
who really wants to DO SO, can do
the same, but he thereby removes
his big argument for an increase
in rent.
If tenants won't submit to big
increases of rents, landlords will
The Washington times., 1920-09-10
COULDN'T BUDGE HIM.

On Monday and Thursday nights,
usually around 7:3O o'clock,
have seen a sensibly dressed
young fellow standing near Bren-
tano's corner, on + street. He
was not a walking fashion plate.
one of the kind that thinks every
girl is crazy about him. I'have
used all my wits and powers try
ing to vamp him, but he does not
even notice me, and that has
made me sore. / wish some sue
cessful vamp would tell me what
to do: give me some useful points
and hints. DESPAIR
The Washington times., 1920-09-10
DIR FAULTS.

women's faults are many,
But men have only two
Everything they say,
TRIANGLE.
The Washington times., 1920-09-10
BUGS is OUR RIVAL.

Bugs" Baer. who camps next door
to II and S. is certainly some nut
and we II and contribs will have to
hustle with more pep and ginger /,
we want to renove this dangerous
conceti;ioa.
A. G.. MARTIN.
The Washington times., 1920-09-10
Rent Increases; the Price of Coal;
the Rights of Tenants
By BILL PRICE.

With goodly part of the citizenship of Washington
having notices their pockets of increases in rent evc
on from their homes the following letter from RAY MOND
H. HUDSON, attorney for the Tenants League, will
prove mighty interesting:
The Washington times., 1920-09-10

"THE BUNCH" write apprecia-
t;on TO the host and hostess, al
"Friendship Cottage Colonial
Beach. "We want to tell you" the
letter states, "that we had perfect
ly ripping time"
The Washington times., 1920-09-10

stop submitting TO coal profiteers,
as my clients did, and then we will
begin to get some real reductions
in the cost of living.
Bonding companies have arranged
so that any tenant who is able TO
pay his current rent, not the in
crease, can appeal his case, and by
appealing from October notices
tenants can certainly hold posses
sion until next June and probably
eighteen months to two years; the
Supreme Court of the District is
considering abolishing the Nine
teenth Rule of Practice, and il
that is done then tenants can re-
main in possession certainly from
one to two years, regardless Of
whether or not the Ball rent law is,
sustained by the United States Su-
preme Court.
II tenants in apartments appeal
and fight, and landlords attempt
to cut off the service or heat, the
court on a proper bill will appoint
a receiver to take charge of the
apartment house and operate and
heat it.
The Washington times., 1920-09-10
- n1EARps -

YESTERDAY
ON STREET CAR
OVERHEARD
TWO CAKETTES
DISCUSSING GERMAN
PAPER SUITS.
AND THE BLONDE SAID:
II BOUGHT A PAPER
BATHING SUIT"
AND THE BRUNETTE SAID:
HOW LOVELY!" y
FROM NOW ON
I AM GOING
TO VISIT
THE BATHING BEACH
EVERY DAY.
r. Mel
Twenty-one Washington boys
have returned from their cruise on
the U. S. "South Carolina" to Ha-
waii and the Pacific coast. "We had
a wonderful trip" they write, "but
we are glad to be back with the H
and S folks. Thanks to the bunch
for keeping up the good old column
while we were sailing the seas"
The Washington times., 1920-09-10

DEAR RUTH and Lilly AND ALL
FIRST 1 thought SHE HAD for girls
I'D WRITE to Helen AND LITTLE boys.
AND LET her know MUST BE repaid
THAT YOU wanted he-. AND IN her case
AND THEN I thought PERHAPS THESE things
THAT MAYBE Helen. EARNED HER the love
HAD GONE away. OF SOME fine man
TO MARRY the man AND If they did
YOU SPEAK about 1T WOULDN'T do
AND If she has TO BRING her back
I'm VERY sure. AND THEN Just think.
YOU WOULDN'T ask. IF SHE came back.
SHE GIVE him up SHE MIGHT prescribe.
FOR YOU'LL MORE CASTOR oil
I'M SURE of that WHICH AS you
THAT ALL the cheer. IS AWFUL bad
SHE SPREAD about THANK
The Washington times., 1920-09-10

G.. l. M. complains that "us girls
can't go home from the movies "with-
out bunch Of idiots following us
The Washington times., 1920-09-10
We TOWNE GOSSIP
Registered u. 9. Patent OfneA
By K. C.. B.

B-We little girls twelve and thirteen
Gossip help
had pretty blonde with golden hair
school all the children loved
her. She fixed boys ties and girls ribbons and peed little children
and ever She NICE but she would also tell
our @ give us OIL which is awful bad.
her back She has been
wouldn't back because she going to
flowers little sick girl in
class and she got for lady, she
children when they from school sick
Her Helen Please write her of your nice letters
RUTH AND LILLY.
The Washington times., 1920-09-10

That takes some OF the burden
off your nose. Avoid whisk brooms,
breakfast food, or anything else
packed with hay.
The Washington times., 1920-09-10

Along about November the alfalfa
snorting will gradually fade away.
On November all the political hay
favorites who have been suffering
from straw votes will be cured.
The Washington times., 1920-09-10

Don't drink home brew through
straw, boil all air thoroughly.
and snoeze at all times through the
nose.
The Washington times., 1920-09-10
xxxxXxX XXxIxXx
A TYPEWRITER HOME

xXXxXxx 1XxxXxy XXI
The Washington times., 1920-09-10

Call the doctor right away. He
can't cure it, but he will help YOU
to share it.
The Washington times., 1920-09-10

The goldenrod is our national
flower and is being saluted with
sneezes all over the works. Sep
tember is the month for third in
stallments of income taxes and first
installments of hay fever
The Washington times., 1920-09-10

Goldenrod grows best in low
marShy land near real estate
agents. 1t generally affects citizens
who are trying to buy their own
homes.
Capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1919-1980, 1920-03-03
LOVE and MARRIED LIFE,
bp the noted author
Idah Ms Clone Gibson

all the commonplace little pinprlckl
of daily life?
! Always, always, that speoter thrus
its head among my mediations. Wa,
| too sensitive? And was. II because
Of this sensitiveness that my married
life had been failure2 Was 1 toe
great coward to face the issue
Was l too self-centered TO see the
good in Johns ways? Was l toe
selfish to give up some little fancied
independence?
willing 60 Go "50-50."
Then again the scenes and incidents
of my married life swept over me and
| told myself that was perfectly
Willing to go fifty-fifty, as John
willing to so fifty-fifty, as John
love
l would even accept forty-sixty, but
ten ninety was beyond me. It seemed
so unfair just then my mediations
were interrupted.
Are YOU going TO luneheon?" asked
Helen as She raped ON my door
I'm going down to bathe first,
answered The swimming pool will
be Open"
''You lazy. lazy grit was her ex-
olamation. Il had my swim at s
o'clock this morning, I don't think
III wait for YOU, for I'm starving. iii
Just push this letter under the door.
think it's from Alice l received a
telegram from Bobby this morning
saying that he Is safely on his way
and was very happy g; think that yon
and | are together RSit. my dear. Ii
1 don't see any more Of you than l
have seen np to date and then she
laughed gay laugh ana marched
away.
Thoughts Set Awhirl
Her knowledge Of my mood and
gay acceptance Of il sent my thoughts
awhlrl again.
II has always been denied that
women can be true and understand
ing friends. In man-made world
Damon and Pvthias have stood for
the masculine ideal Of friendship. but
Capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1919-1980, 1920-03-03

Then 1 won't have to give anybody
else a taste.'
That was like Henry Skunk. HI
was selfish fellew-always greedy
never offering to share q dainty with
anyone.
Jimmy Rabbit was holding hi,
mouth. He knew that if he laughed
he would spoil everything. AS he
listened. he heard a snapi And
Henry Skunk said "Ohi" as if some
thing hurt him. and surprised him
both. Il declare, I've broken a toothia
he exclaimed. That's the hardest
egg ever saw. I'll try another. =
And he took another egg out of the
basket.
There was another snapi This time
Henry cried owl" 1t was queer, to
break two teeth like that. And he
reached into the basket for the third
egg. "It certainly can't happen
again" Henry told himself And he
bit the third egg with all his might
How it hurt him. He fairly howled
with pain.
And then Jimmy Rabbit snickered.
He could hold in his laughter no
longer,
That was enough for Henry
Skunk. He looked around quickly.
And what he saw made him very
angry. For he knew then that those
eggs were nothing but a joke.
Now, when he Uttered, Jimmy
Rabit had jumped back behind the
tree round which he had been peep
ing. He thought that he was safely
out of sight But ne had forgotten
all about his ears. They We're so
long, and they stuck out so far, that
Henry Skunk could see them. And
he knew right away who had played
that trick on him.
He did not think it was any joke, to
break three teeth. And he began to
creep toward those ears But there
was one thing that Henry Skunk had
not noticed. He had not looked up
in the branches above Jimmy Rab-
bits head. If he had, he would have
seen Frisky Squirrel, who had come
along to see the fun
As soon as Frisky saw what was
happening, he cried:
Look out, Jimmy!"
And Jimmy Rabbit looked out lust
in time. The smile faded from his
face. And he turned and ran.
Henry Skunk did not chase him.
lie was no runner. But he hoped
that some day he could catch both
those meddlesome youngsters.
We'll, what did | tell you?" Jim
my Rabbit said. when Frisky Joined
him at a good, safe distance from
Henry Skunk's house. Didn't | say
tnere'd be some fun?''
But l don't understand. what hap
pened," Friskey said. ~ thought
Henry Skunk liked hens eggs
$50 he does" Jimmy Rabbit an
swered. But those were not real
hens eggs. They were china eggs
which | found in Farmer Green's hen
house And they were almost as
hard as stones"
Frisky Squirrel laughed.
Il wish we had some more" he
said Then we could hang a Nav
basket on Fatty Coon's door
don't suppose you'd care to go back
10 Henrys house and get those eggs?'
Il don't suppose would" said
Jimmy Rabbit.
Capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1919-1980, 1920-03-03
Ripping Rhymes
BY WALT MASON
AUTHORS ART

lot Of authors kill laughs and bore all gentle readers by
finishing their paragraphs with foolish strings of leaders
s spoiled lot of books for this silly afectaon and when
leadered' page I'm filled with indignation
They say the Wapo books great they boost his Secret
City,; but they chae and rate, inspiring this punk dy.
His sentences all disappear in leaders running tandem and if
had stale eggs near, to Walpoe would hand
Der books enhused however apt their phrases if in
them yspck lines used when words cheap bazes
do not think the writer fine greve to make conession who
has to dotted line to help out impression The
stratagems of writing hicks oft make shrink and hver
author need resort to tricks who the goods deliver
Capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1919-1980, 1920-03-03
At Last, Relief
from Rheu1natisrn

must be reached and elir;...
from the blood before ,r,l,lnated raa,
can. be had. ieai reAd
| S. s. S. has been suoo..
used for Rheumatism mfsslulF fas
than fifty years. It is ~ ~. mofs
Inorough and reliable ~: ~:
remedy because it seareb.a nioee
and eliminates all disease sass OF
which infest the blood. gums
Mr.. E. P. Bratches Of DsI..
Texas, Il says in a recent [ Isi,ss.
was down for several 'ussst. wass.
with rheumatism in NV s"ssa nsss
could not work. | Commences %
5. S. and before | used two 'R ~ :
ties | could get around fa;,1s m,
well; | continued using s. i 8 y
until | used twelve bottles. ON
a carpenter and now can a. , ma ~
work all Q. K. | feel as young y
| did at thirty although Is / = :
fifty. | highly recommend q g 9
5. for Rheumatism of the iointss n ;
S. S. 5. has done wonderfuI
things in the treatment Of Rhaa.
matism, particularly that form
OF disease which comes from ths
tiny germ that gets into ths 1s
blood, multiplies rapidly. and
carries the torturing pain tbru.
out the system.
S. S. S. is sold by druggist,
everywhere. 1t is a fifty wear
old remedy, and its use is no y.
pertinent, as it has been on the
market for over half a century
and is known Throughout the
length and breadth Of the land.
= X \ 4 = X X \ x X X **x
x
X Now is an excellent time !
X to treat your Rheumatism i,
X with s. S. S., while the sys- ;
X tenn Is undergoing its annual /
X spring cleaning. and throw /
X Ing off impurities. =
X
4 X X \ \ \ 4 4 x \ X *#*
Go to your drugstore and get
a bottle of S. S. S. today, andbe-
gin to take a rational, sensible
treatment for Rheumatism that
will show results. For free ex-
pert medical advice regarding
your own case, write fully to
Chief Medical Adviser, ITS
Swift Laboratory, Atlanta, Ga.
Capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1919-1980, 1920-03-03
Thinking 1t Over

Bobby had arranged for very com
Portable quarters at one of the bill
boardwalk hotels From my room
could hear the booming Of the sea
could glimpse the great white cap
and It's seemed calling, calling me.
coming In with an irresistible force.
From my earliest childhood the seS
has fascinated mo. Although am
lover Of nature in every form, the
sea over-shadows every other bit OF
her handiworln
never grow tired OF watching It's
'eslless movement Something in il
appeals to me tremendously I am
fond of its gay ins0uciance as its
waves softly lap the white sands up-
ier the Influence Of the golden sun
shine and soft breeses
l love its lmplaeable defiance when.
'ashed to fury by the whip of the
storm. il gives back blow FOR blow
enlOy the fresh oder of its long. wind
swept reaches. And as / feel It's sen
suous oaresses about ms body l am
wrapped In the lull of oblivion to
everything In the world but the feel
ing Of its soft embrace
Blood Begins to Course.
Even tho tang Of its bitter spray in
my mouth and against nay faee. holds
tonic qualities which sends my blood
courslng wildly through my veins
Tho sea answers al my moods II
almost satisfies ms cravings.
Helcn, who is one Of the most I'M
derslanding of women, left me alone.
IN my room all morning. I was per-
feetly content 10 sit by the window
ond look out upon the vast expanse
Of water that was not more restless
Ihan the sursing crowd passing to and
fro on the boardwalk.
As ] watched tho avnr changing
Kaleidoscope OF humanity. / wondered
Il any OF them were experiencing so
much unhapniness as I Was / the
lniv woman whom Fate had chosen
o suffcr acutely under the torture oil
Capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1919-1980, 1920-03-03
Home Building
Officers ITO Be
Named Tonight

Orricers for the Salem Homebuild-
ing association are expected to be
named at a joint meeting in the Com
mercial club tonight at 1880 Of the
board of directors and stockholders in
the corporation. Organization is ex-
pected to be completed, and plans
finally adopted for the promotion or
home building in the city.
AT a meeting of the company direc-
torate several days ago the constitu-
ton and bylaws were accepted, and an
nouncement to the stockholders of the
procedure under those rules probably
will be made.
Capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1919-1980, 1920-03-03
REAL ESTATE TRANSFERS

Rosa Jordan, John Jordan, ALI
bert and Minnie Jordan, Har
ry A Jordan, Benjamin Jor-
dan, Emma and Frank Corn
ish, Bertha and Sumner
White, Ida and Bud DIM
ick, Anna and George CRU
ber; ella and Julius Stauf-
fer to James Hopkins and
Mable Hopkins, 80 A sit AS
NV ...... ...... ...... $4975-
Zeke Baklard to Oliver Cres-
sic Sheldon and William Hal
Sheldon, prt bl 81 Salem ............
John Oumby Walker and Mar
garet Electra Walker to
Glen o Milhouse and Edith
Milhouse, 7.51 A River
side subd in IS 4W ........,, 100l
Fred Fisher and Ida Fisher to
Max Paul Kuemmel and
Anna Kuemmel. 4 Marion
Gardens rs 2W ....,. ....,. ...... .........
Henry M Baker AMI Lucille
A Baker to John Minniekel
prt II bl II Salem 80. ....., .....,,..
Guy o Smith and Theresa
Smith to Fred w Durbin prt
ID L C sanford Stephens 6S
wv ........... ...... &c.. ...... -..-....-.....
Joseph Sestak and Theresie
Sestak to Forrest Mack prt
hl Stayton ....... -..... ...... ........-
John Minnickel to II NJ Baker
37.70 A Ireton Fruit farms.
Grace A Thomas and John
Thomas, Julia L simmons to
w c Winslow and Lottie d