The Coconino sun., 1920-07-16

nose on your back.
 Sum one ask't us de odder day why
 de present aige ain't perdooced no
 Cicero, Diogenes or Milton. We an-
 ser to de effect dat eadh aige has per- dooced of itself an fur itself.
 Diogenes was looked upon as wise man in his day an aige. Put him an his tub on airth today an it wouldn't
 be "A hours befo' he'd be jerked to de
 jug fur a crank, an de law would fo'ce him to cut his ha'r, dig out his finger nails an put on a clean shirt. /
 Cicero was applauded by thousands fvr his masterly oratory. At dat aige de gift of gab was rare thing. In dis aige you kin attend a $5 lawsuit befo' any justice of de peace an fin a match fur Cicero in $3 lawyer. If he could drap down among us he'd find it hard work to git resolution fer a new sidewalk frew de city council.
 Shakespeare wus big bug fur de aige in which he lived. He wus prob ly de only pusson on airth who could have writ his writin's. an he desarv- ed all praise. If he wus among us to- / day he'd fin ebery newspaper givin' him de guy, an all de boys yellin' chestnut" Dis aige demands diff furent stile. We want sunthin' bout angels comin' down an takin' little chilen strate up to heben, or feller gwine out to Texas an killin' haf a dozen odder fellers a day fur vaca- shun. We want plain English, wid- out any had words in it. We doan' vn,,N,,xt Ix,.l ,l,,l. or me lady, an we don want to. Dis aige has perduced 5000 pussons, who, while dey can't write like Shakespeare did, kin waltz all 'roun' him in keepin' de readers ha'r on eand from de fust paige to de las.
 Nero wus big gun fur his aige, but is you imagine sech chap cavort- in 'roun' his kentry at dis day an date. De werry fus' time he sounded his bazoo, some poleeceman would give him de collarNan' walk him down, an nex' you'd see in de papers dat oP. Nero was sent up fur 60 days fur dis turbin' de peace.
 We has no poet to ekal Milton, but if We had, de newspapers wouldn't give him no show. Dis aige don cry fur po'try half as much as fur polk, an chap like Milton would haf to turn a han organ to make livin'.
 De aige don deman' no. grate man in enny line. When it does he will bob up on de surface an his name will appear in de papers. We am all wise huff in our way. We am all filosoph- CTS huff to see why water won't run uphill, an statemen huff to know what ails dis kentry am its overpro- duction of democrats.
 Our advice to you am to keep right on bein' common folks. Elf you wan to git above de common herd, pay cash fer your groceries, let odder peoples woodpiles Tone, put in six days week at hand work. You may not become a Plato or a Napoleon; but you'll be remembered in your own neighborhood when de names of state guv'nors hev been forgot.
 Judge F. w. Perkins says he once knew a man who went to prescott ing attorney one morning and related a misty story about having been drug ged and robbed in the small hours just at saloon stud-poker game. TIC Nlu IiOt hhOW buC itehiiCo VI tiiS men who robbed him, he said, but would recognize them. The attorney accordingly drew up complaints against a couple of John Does and sent the complainant to the justice of the peace to swear to the complaints and have warrants issued. A few minutes later the complainant rushed back to the prosecuting attorneys office, and | 
 It's no go; the cuss that robbed me is the judge himself"
 One of The Suns printers, few | years ago, out of a job, went to work | on a farm. One morning, the farmer told him to set hen.
 "How do you want her set?" the boy asked. "Solid ?"
 One of our best-known Flagstaff | men, on train in the east, recently, was asked by an official looking stranger what he had in bundle he had in the grip rack over his seat.
 Laundry" our friend replied.
 "Open it up," said the officer.
 He did. It contained laundry, all right, but, unfortunately he didn't it just right, and the small end of q big brown bottle was dis closed to view.
 What's in that bottle ?" asked the officer.
 "Nightcaps," replied our friend, without moments hesitation.
 The officer looked at him a moment. Then he smiled. "All right; you pass," he said.
 Prot. J. F. Walker, of the Normal school, listened very gravely the other night while several others told some very improbable yarns about hunting and their prowess at the sport. Final y he said:
 "I want to tell you about an exper- ence 1 once had shooting blackbirds with double-barreled shot gun. went out with the gun to big pasture where there were thousands of the lit ,le black fellows. Just as l got near hem, they flew, There must have