The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1920-05-27
vowels. which are . Ell o and y, and
sometimes y"

Breathlessly the spirituallsticall,
inclined lady bent over the ouija spell
ing out the communications from he
departed spouse. John, are you hap
| by there?" she asked. Eyes, dear
Are you happier than you were OF
the earth? Z" Eyes, dear" "Ah,
she breathed, Heaven must be won
derful place" Il g-u-e-s-s SO, but
I'm not there yet"
! Although she had only been wed 8
year Mrs. Thompkins went to . law
yer II want separation" she an
nounced. what is the complaint p
asked the lawyer. Does your hus-
band abuse you!" NO." said the
selfish WOMAN. "but he snores."
"Snores7 Is that ALT" "Isn't that
enough ?" "But, madam" the lawyer
stammered "didn't you marry the poor
fellow for better or wofse 2" "Yes, |
did" she snapped, "but didn't marry
him for jazz band!"
A man from out Of town was walk
ing down the street the other morning
with pint bottle Of whisky in his hip
pocket. The world looked so good to
him that he didn't watch his step and
stubbed his toe on water pipe cover
ing and fell. The fall bruised his hip
cruelty, but he shrugged to his feet
and limped bravely on his way. Pres
emily he felt downward trickling
sensation in the region of the pint bot
tie. "Good Lord" he breathed fer
vently, II hope that's blood"
4 4 4
A travelling salesman during an ex-
tensive journey, took his wife with
him. Being nervous about fires, he
frequently impressed upon her the
necessity of keeping "cool head
should the danger ever occur. At one
hotel, where they were stopping fire
really did break out. The salesman
reused his wife. assisted her to dress,
and to demonstrate the value of pres
ence of mind, reached for his frock
coat, silk hat, and umbrella and ac-
his wife into the street.
There they watched the firemen in
heir work of subduing the flames
And now, remarked the husband to
lis wife, "you see the advantage Of
laving a cool head" Eyes, john" was
he reply, "but you might have put
our trousers on"
The total lack of comprehension be-
ween the American negro and his AL
erian brother will go down in his
Dry as one of the outstanding fea-
lres of the war. There was, for
,stance, the case Of the dusky steve
ore at Brest, and one Of the coloredi
'rench troops on duty there. Long
nd laboriously the Yank tried to es-
lblish some means of linguistic COM
but there was no response !
hen brilliant thought struck the
BY from Geo'gia. He produced pair
! ivory cubes and rolled them en-
cingly under the Algerian's nose.
Intelligence still registered zero.
Man." said Sam, in disgust. "You
MT no cullud pusson. You amt
zen no human. You is just corpse"
A Woman wonder if all husbands
e like mine in one respect? When
y husband oisrobes at bedtime he
rews his clothes all over the house.
recently took inventory of his be-
ngings and this is what / found:
'ousers hanging on telephone; hose
floor by dining room door; shoes in
inter- of living room; tie and collar
nging on coat rack; coat and vest
read out on back of chair; under
'thes on floor in living room; shirt
foot Of bed. Is it any wonder
ends husband is perplexed in the
,rning when he gets up? He usual
asks such foolish questions rs
there are my soxf left them right
re by my bed last night; never do
d my clothes where leave them"
A dear old gentleman noticed la
rer walking along railway train
1 diligently tapping the wheels.
wing nothing better to do, the old
,tleman approached and asked:
ow many years have you been
rking for this railway, my mani" =
airty-eight, sir" replied the laborer r
| continuing his work. al suppose
! have had many varied experiences
pour time plenty of change of oc-
alton, expectf" mo, sir, I've
'ays 'ad this same job. I've tapped
wheels Of trains for eight and
~ years, sir" "A long time, my
a, = very long time, and, if may
%. it shows steady character.
! by the way-what is the reason
tapping the wheels! Why do YOU I