The Butler weekly times and the Bates County record. (Butler, Mo.) 1918-1950, 1920-03-18

- cided that he
couldn't live any longer. Che was {
LIZ leet longl without a certain otllel
person 90, yes, the other person was
a woman). They we're very poo:
about all they had was each other
and a crazy patch quilt and some
j.. good intentions. q have known
others since then who started with
lcss). But they q mean the first
pair) hunted UP a pulpit FOUNDER q
think he was a Presbyterian and got
properly hitched. The young hus-
band asked the dominic how much?''
The parson accustomed to HARD
lines himsel) answered by saying,
20, just what you think she is worth.
The "gawk' handed him SOC and re-
marked that he might pay some more
later The preacher took the 4-blts
and proceeded to buy something to
eat and thought the incident closed
But i'll weeks the young man came
back and (now wait minute). Nc,
he didn't pay any more money. TIC
told the parson that he felt that SOC
vas too much and asked for 2 bifs
Of it back. The parson finally re-
I
country. (P. S. Founded on .facts,)
| First time was ever in big store
iii a city | asked cchap where +
could get some sleeve holders and Il
Fair OF galluses. He. grnned and
said, Just walk back there and take
the elevator to the top floor l
went and took look at the elevator,
decided | want quite heavy enough,
10 handle it and was goin' out. The
clerk saw me and said to me. well,
son. did you find what you wanted?'
--Nope,~ says i. Il couldn't carry the
Elevator to the top floor"
Asked what is the length OF the
Presidents term | answered. Tie
length OF said term is 4 years, but
Ivy reason OF strength (political
strength and promises Chat are not
lulfilled) and other accidents, some
presidents succeed in making the
term s years and yet are not salts
lied and verify they are titled with
NeNaton and trouble-Selah.
Another time had some fun with
pill peddler. 1t was this way:
called at his office and asked for an
examination. | knew was all O. X.
lie gave me thorough examination
and said: By George, I'm glad YOU
came when you did Tomorrow
would have been too late why SO,
Doe: | asked. Am ! SO poorly as
al that NO, no." said he, "nothin'
ails you. But | am flat broke
Some one with all axe to grind)
commcntin' on my ability as writ
er and my generally exceedin bril-
liancy asked me, (which OF yonr
parents did you take after Neither
OF en-" says |. | attribute my sue
cess mainly to the fact that III par
cnts spent most of their time takin
after me-
Out huntin once fellow tried TO
have some fun with me. Said he wa,
a game warden. He stopped me and
demanded to know where my huntin
license was. | raised my gun to my
shoulder and said, my license is
stickin' i'll the muzzle OF my gun.
Come and git err. Z. S. He didn't
come.
MIR. Hoover Says We Have Much
to be Thankful For.-Headlne.
didn't read the story. None a-tall.
But | quite agree with him. Among
the things that l am devoutly thank
ful for is that the said Hoover amt
at the head OF the food administra-
ton any more. | could mention
other reasons but that might be con-
sidered unfair to him now, as | TN
derstand he is goin' to run for the
presidency on 2 Count 'em) 2 tickets.
Can you beat it:
81 done uyoot ~ m re, ~aco.d n.
sayin' Mr.. Wilson Eyes | mean
Woodrow hasn't mind of his own,
said a man to me t'other day. But
ask you,' said he to me, "as be-
tween man and man, has hep and |
II Dunno
Quite bit of noise ben' made now
days about infants bein' born with
teeth. don't think that remarkable
Why, when l was born q have been
told) | had both my wisdom teeth
md one eye tooth (capped with gold) J.;
and had both eyes open. ,
People who tinker with. ouija {
BOARD Qike man who can draw sor- |:
yhum from barrel in January with ,
out cussin) may be strictly honest,
gut | opine they are too derned sud- I
len for this climate and need watch
n.
It's positively alarmin' when we
the diseases that are sup
.rinduced by bad teeth. But yet and
till when l had studied the matter
or a minute it seemed quite simple.
You feel sort of out of keller and
consult pill peddler. He asks you
what's the matter. You say that's
What I'm askin' you, Doc. OF course,
lie don't know, but havin' a stand-in
With some manipulation of the forceps
lie looks wise and says, you have a
,art on your liver and the valves Of
,our heart don't seat quite proper
md the only remedy is pull your
eeth. He charges nothin' for advice.
}, no, but he sends you to his tooth
'uller. who pulls your teeth (and in
your leg also) makes you
new set and whacks up with Doc.
simple? I'll say so. Listen-this is