South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1920-05-09
By James J. Montague.

BOoklceepers have nice easy Jobs,
with pretty good pay. But you can't
be a bookkeeper without an educa-
ton. And since they have been
raising the pay OF college professors
10 S25 or $50 a week. educauons
are terribly expensive.
The life OF bricklayer Is pleasant
and agreeable. His work keeps him
out In the open air. The bod car
rier does r-,ost OF the manual labor.
And the wages are excellent
However union rules forbid a man
to lay bricks until he has carried
the hod for a couple OF years. And
a man who has carried the hCd for
a couple OF years is too tired TO lay
any bricks.
All these learned professions re-
quire study and training Try TO
practice medicine without going
through a medical school, and your
brother doctors will have you fined
or locked up. II Is too bad that
this IS the case. For nowadays a
doctor. just by writing a few pre-
scriptions for pints or spirits fer
menti. can make a splendid living.
Also, at present there is a lot of
money in the legal profession. The
lawyer who can tell you how TO
transfer a case of whisky from
Barney's place 10 your home with
out getting in Jail need not trouble
about the cost OF living.
But there seems to be a rule that
requires a man 10 spend at least a
year I'm a law school before he can
be a lawyer. and that keeps most
OF US out OF the law game.
About the only lucrative pursuits
that can be followed without any
training whatever are playwriting
and amateur gardening. Any num-
Der OF persons attempt both when
they find other means Of livelihood
difficult. We began with gardening.
The incentive was very great.
With lettuce at so cents a head, as
paragus at rs cents a bunch and
cabbages commanding any price. the
marketman sees tit TO ask for them,
il was easy 10 see that the vegetable
producer, could reap a fortune in
season.
All one needed was a few gar
den tools and a collection of seeds.
These combined with healthful, in
MIGRATING open air exercise were
sufficient TO raise crop worth al
most its weight in gold.
We cleared and spaded a space in
the back yard and went blithely TO
work.
But somehow or other che garden
didn't prosper. There appeared TO
be things about gardening which we
didn't know.
We had trouble, among other
things. with Insecticides.
At the suggestion OF a seed cata-
logue we mixed Rrsenate of lead
and sundry other chemicals and ap-
pLSd IL 10 our potato plants.
'The next day a lamb, belonging to
one OF the children, having occasion
10 eat one OF the potato plants. was
stricken with such an acute case Of
collie that the vet charged us IS.
That cheered us up. II the stuff
could have such an effect on a large
lamb II certainly ought 10 do the
work for an almost microscopic po-
tatO beetle.
But it didn't. The BEETLES ate the
potato plants, poison and all, with
eager relish and got fat on IT,
We mixed other poisons and fed
them TO rats. which died in the
walls OF the house, necessitating the
removal OF walls and plaster in
order to get them out and give them
a decent burial In the yard. But
none OF the mixtures daunted the
bugs in the least.
IL is possible OF course TO re-
move BEETLES from potato vines.
BEETLE by beetle. But it requires the
labor OF six or seven persons 10 a
vine. continued through the summer
and this is not always practicable,
particularly in the busy season.
We also had difficulty with fer
tilizers. We compounded ours on
correct principles. but the plants
didn't seem to care for them.
Either they went all 20 stalk and
leaves, getting 80 excited about
growth that they neglected 70 bios
som and fruit altogether. or they
came down with Indigestion and
died
Then too our plants developed a
surprising obstinacy about doing
what they were expected to do
Everybody knows that lettuce
should head up" which means form
compact and succulent spheres, like
Cabbages.