davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Dziennik Chicagoski. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1890-1971, 1920-08-30
STAMINA CITIZENS BROWARNI

ma 80 miodych koni k'aszy, odpo"ie-
dine 40 jakieyokolwiex uzytku. Take
30 garniturGw uprGezN nowych dru-
nrI"Inyru rome woZy. " Ford tour
to- ,urnmohilr. WS2yStkO must bye
sprzciane " 20 dn!LcI. IaLna gotoWko-
VA of.rta mic bylz:e odmow! iona. 2IG2
\rrlrr Ave. ROC Throop III.
Dziennik Chicagoski. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1890-1971, 1920-08-30

Gle swe oddac! ZnaC - take by
10 Tive przeznaczenie!
Niechaj wiec ia polska ziemia
"a ktorq zycie oddalas bedzie CT
matula serdecznq i tenn ciepFcm
wiecznem - ktorego tn ME do
znalaS!....
Geese i chwa}a wiernej Pol
&C, a pok6j popiolom!
Dziennik Chicagoski. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1890-1971, 1920-08-30
PRAC,A

POTRZEBA r~obCtnik6w do piracy.
extra gangs i sections W Wyoming.
Nebraska, South Dakota. Iowa, Min
nesota; podroz zaplacona. Zg}os!G sic
Polski agent, Louis JEANS, 6 S. Ca
nal III. Freeland Rros. xxx
Dziennik Chicagoski. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1890-1971, 1920-08-30
Kwiaty ma Mogle!

Pomnij Lwi Grodzieh... Otto
z iona Twego wyroSle dziecie -
ma siuch, re skryty Wrog ma ca.
lose iva godzi, rodzimy dach pc
rzuca i W wir ulicznEh walk ofia
rule siebie.
Nickname szerszejisferze, ciche,
spokojne, Skromne, maiomowne,
zapobiegliwe i pracowite dziew-
cze, to stale juz I. listopada do
szeregu. =
Wychowane W szlacheckim
dworku W dobrobycie i wygo,-
dach - porzuca wszystko i W
skromnej sukience, bez najmniej-
szych ambicyi do czegoS lepsze-
so, znosi truly i moody wojen'
ne!
SzkoHa Sienkiewicza byia Ola
niej pierwsza przystania!
Anka Zawadzka.
Oto imie polskiego dziewcze,
cia, ktore i jake Zofia Chrzanow
ska albo Platerowna Emilia po-
szto w BOZ i zycie swe Ojczyznie
IA o{tarzu ziozyio.
Anka Zawadzka.. Ktoz jej
z mas, towarzyszy ME znaF! Vie
cznie ma nogach, dbajaca do pre-
sadly 0 wszystko, be- Przerwy pa
rujaca - OTTO wzor i uosobienie
tcgo. jak nalezy sluzyc Ojczyz,
ME.
PrzydzielIli ia W szkole do "a,
rzadu gospodarczego. By}a tam
dusza wszystkiego, be- niej ME
byto obiadu, ME bylo kolacyi, -
be- niej, - zo}nierz ME byf t
,siebie."
A kiedy potem z rozkazu ko-
mendantki objela komende kuct
m OficerSko = zo{nierskiej ". Cd
cinka ma dworcu staia sic wzorem
karnoSci i obowiazhowoSci!
Ma najdalsze wedety i placow
XII - poSr6d $niegu hub deszczow
W zimne noce listopadowe -
wlasnemi rekoma wynosiia zol,
nierzom ciepia herbate ! kasek
chleba!
Me bylo wtedy mas tylu, by &C
godzine lub dwie zmieniac po-
sterunki!
Godzinami, lekko odziani stall
Smy i czujnie baczyli, czylil
wr6g zdradzieck ME skrada sig
porownie!
Me sypiala nocami i dniami
ME znafa odpoczynkl, pogawed'
ki Tub nawet weso4ej chwili
praca i staranie sic o dobro zo4-
rierza byAo u niej wszystkiem!
Dziennik Chicagoski. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1890-1971, 1920-08-30

POTRZEBA kobiet do mycia stat
k6w. elektryczna maszyna do mycia
statk6w. 32O3 w. Madison ul. blisko
Kedzie ave.. l
Dziennik Chicagoski. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1890-1971, 1920-08-30
DROPNr ~NCtNc7r'NlA
$500 Nagrody

"a infOrmacye. doprowadzenie do G
resztu skazaria, czterech mlodych
ludzi "a kradziez w6dki; 100 skrzyn
Old Taylor Whiskey z pnr. 1921 \.
Ashland ave. "a pomoca White truck
AUTOMOBILE, malowanego ma siwo.
Ia wszelkie informacye bedzicmy
trzymali nazwisko W sekrecie. Zgi1-
sic sic do Halperin Bros. Motor co.
Calumet, 1891 - 224l Michigan
ave 81
Dziennik Chicagoski. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1890-1971, 1920-08-30
Ruch " T%OWarzyStWaCh.

Choir kosciola g6rnego Sw. Sta
nislawa kostki, oddzial starszy i
mlodszy bedzie mial dis W ponie-
dzialek o Smej wieczorem lekcye
spiewu IA przyszly koncert. Czlcn-
k6w 0 obecnoSG urrasza A. Kwasi-
groch, dyrygent.
-O--
ma Town OF Lake MONA otrzv
mac ,,Dzicnrik W nastepujacyth
m:ejscach.
ClCHOWLAZ -
4612 So. Lincoln alice
kRUPOWICZ
1IlS ", Coma uilcs
MIELZYNSKI -
liza w. AS-ma ulica
STREJSMAN -
4S09 LOOMS Utica
AONDS -
alma ul. i Racine ave
LOPACMSKI
4e59 Gross ave
S. ITALIAN -
1912 w. 51-ta vi Skiad caszy
NOITkOWSKI
4524 S. Ashland ave
3OCHNIAk -
1915 w 43-cia IIics
Dziennik Chicagoski. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1890-1971, 1920-08-30

MA SPRZEDAZ piekne mahoniowe
piano. jak MOVE. tanio. rowntel so
lowe skrzypce. 1892 W. Erie Ill,
lsZe pietro, trent. ou
Dziennik Chicagoski. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1890-1971, 1920-08-30

POTRZEBA d. mycia naczyn. kobiet
zaraz. sodziny Cd Il DO $50, SIS ma
tydzien. Zg}osit sic 1905 w. Harri-
son III. III
Dziennik Chicagoski. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1890-1971, 1920-08-30
RObotnikOW

Potrzeba DUO robctnik6 ; do piracy
W rozmaitych zajecia We fabryce, ro-
bota ma maszynach i do trucking etc.
Oraz praca Cd suzuki, piacimy do
bre pieniqdze doSwiadczenia ME po-
tr2eba. Zglosii sic do biura piracy:
1884 Archer ave 81
Dziennik Chicagoski. [volume] (Chicago [Ill.]) 1890-1971, 1920-08-30
RACE
FOTRZEBA STENOGRAFISTKI

W biurze adwokattw W sr6dmiesctu
Noop), must bye o5eznana z wyKo'
nywaniem legalnej piracy. take do
odpowiadauia ma telefon. ZgfosiG sic
pomiedzy II l IL rano. Pok6j 7O6 -
l40 n. Dearborn I'll. Zapytat sic o p.
Lisack. XXX
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1920-02-27
TOWN LONG WITHOUT BANK
Colorado Community, in Existence
More Than Century, Is Now to
Have Institution.

The little Spanish town of San
Luis, the county seat of Costilla coun-
ty. Colo. in the lower end of the val
ley, will welcome its first bank when
the State bank Of San Luis opens its
doors for business. This little town
is more than one hundred years old.
and was one of the farthest outposts
Of Spanish settlement that followed
the northward push Of the Spanish
residents of Santa Fe and vicinity.
For nearly fifty years before the
first contingent of Americans, under
command of Gen. Frank Baldwin, now
resident of Denver. arrived over La
veta pass and established the military
posts Of Fl. Garland. San Luis had
been a furnishing little settlement
surrounded by highly developed farms
In the last few years the progress +
and development of the town an
community has been more rapid, until
now the town is considered to be large
enough to need bank. The ma
jorIty of the residents of the vicinity
are Spanish-speaking people of the old
school, polished, courteous. energetic
and prosperous. Some of the wealth.
lest men Of the valley are to be found
In the town and its close environs.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1920-02-27

'1n considerable fear" said bank
er, Il once consulted Mr.. Carnegie
about a new venture. The business
looked as if it ought to be profitable.
There seemed to be public need of
It. Still there was some risk involved.
and 1 was afraid.
But Mr.. Carnegie laughed at my
fears.
:" If 1t is a good thing plunge In he
said. Fear is old womanish. Fear is
what keeps untold millions from MAX
ing fortunes. When Benjamin Frank
lin thought of starting a newspaper in
Philadelphia his mother, greatly
alarmed. tried to dissuade him. She
pointed out that there were already
two newspapers in America.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1920-02-27

Prescription and his Golden Medical Dis
covery, but by the systematic use Of these
medicines l came through the change in
splendid health Nv advice to all women
at this time Of life is to take these medi-
eines and not 60 on suffering. Mrs
Jesse P. Jones, Douglas Ave.
Fredericksburg, Va.-T found Oh
Pierces Favorite Prescription an excellent
tonic for women. ! had become all run
down, weak and nervous when Favorite
Prescription was recommended to me,
took three bottles and it completely built
me up and relieved me Of the trouble.
feel that ! can. with perfect safety, rec
ommend Favorite Prescription 10 all
women who suffer. Mrs. E. W. Jones,
200 G St.
Charlottesville, va.-"Dr Pleree's Fa-
yorite Prescription IL a wonderful COM
fort to women going through the trying
time OF life. I was SO nervous at times
! could neither sleep nor eat, also had
heat flashes and dizzy spells Soon after
starting to take Dr. Pierce's Favorite
Prescription my health was greatly inn
proved in every way.
1T is a real pleasure TO recommend so
worthy a medicine as 'Favorite Prescrip-
ton and frequently do recommend II to
West st.
When a girl becomes a woman. when
woman becomes a mother when a woman
passes through the changes Of middle life.
are the three periods Of life when health
and strength are most needed to with
stand the pain and distress often caused
by severe organic disturbances
At these critical times women are best
fortified by the use of DR.. Pierce's Fa-
vorite Prescription, an old remedy OF
proved worth that keeps the entire wom-
aniy system perfectly regulated and in
excellent condition.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1920-02-27
GETS MONEY FROM RUBBISH
Invention Of EneIIshman Has Proved
Its Practical Value in a Num-
Der Of Towns.

One of the most remarkable ma
chimes In the world has just been in
vented by an Englishman, W. P. Hoyle.
1t converts dust into cash-or. more
correctly speaking 1t extracts what is
worth saving from rubbish and pre-
pares 1t for redistribution. Cinders
are washed, dust is converted into fer
tilizer. tins are cleaned. and paper
and rags are sorted. Another bit of
machinery used in this wonderful ire
fuse recovery plant" deals with clink-
ers, turning them into nodded con-
crete blocks for building. 1t has been
proved that every hundred tons Of
waste produce S160, and since a town
Of 5000 inhabitants discards about
one hundred tons of rubbish daily one
can easily work out the municipal
revenue that such a plant would pro-
duce. Not few towns in the United
Kingdom have already installed a
Hoyle rubbish converting plant. Aber-
deem in one day collected $1,000 worth
of discarded bottles, a weeks jam-jar
collection in the city of Sheffield real
lied 5000. while Glasgow estimates
that one years conversion Of its rub
bish will bring In $4,000.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1920-02-27
EAT LESS AND TAKE
SALTS FOR KIDNEYS
Take = Glass Of Salts u Your Back
Hurts or Bladder
Bothers.

The American men and women must
guard constantly against Kidney trou-
BILE. because we eat too much and oil
our food is rich. Our blood is filled
with uric acid which the kidneys strive
TO filter out. they weaken from over
work, become sluggish; the eliminative
tissues clog and the result is kidney
trouble, bladder weakness and a gen
eral decline in health.
When your kidneys feel like Jumps
of lead; your back hurts or the urine
is cloudy. full of sediment or you are
obliged to seek relief two or three
times during the night; II you suffer
with sick headache or dizzy, nervous
spells, acid stomach, or you have rheu-
matism when the weather is bad, get
from your pharmacist about four
ounces Of Jad Salts; take a table
spoonful in a glass Of water before
breakfast for a few days and your
kidneys win then act fine. This fa-
nous salts IS made from the acid of
grapes and lemon juice, combined
with lithia, and has been used for
generations to flush and stimulate
clogged kidneys; to neutralize the
acids in the urine so It no longer is
source of Irritation, thus ending
bladder disorders.
Jad Salts is inexpensive; cannot in
jure, makes a delightful effervescent
lithia-water beverage. and belongs in
every home, because nobody can make
a mistake by having a good kidney
flushing any time.-Adv.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1920-02-27
NAME "BAYER" IS ON
GENUINE ASPIRIN
Take tablets without fear, II you see
the safety "Bayer
Cross"

If you want the true. world-famous
Aspirin, as prescribed by physicians
for over eighteen years, you must ask
for 'Bayer Tablets Of Aspirin"
The "Bayer Cross" is stamped on
each tablet and appears on each pack.
age for your protection against imi.
tations.
In each package of "Bayer Tablets
of Aspirin" are safe and proper direc.
tons for Colds, Headache, Neuralgia,
Toothache, Earache, Rheumatism.
Lumbago, Neuritis, and for Pain in
general.
Handy tin boxes containing II tab
lets cost but a few cents. Druggists
also sell larger "Bayerr packages. As
pirin is the trade mark Of Bayer Man.
pfacture of Observation-Disclosures Of
Saiicylicacid.-Adv.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1920-02-27
CAME NEAR DYING
Finally Used Doan's and Was Restored
to Health. Has Been Strong
and Well Since.

Malaria fever weakened my kidneys
when l was a young man." says L. W.
Garrison, % + St., Anderson, S. c.
Finally, ten years ago, was in such
bad shape that | expected to die.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1920-02-27
GREEN'S AUGUST FLOWER.

Constipation invites other troubles
which come speedily unless quickly
checked and overcome by Green's
August Flower which is a gentle laxa-
tive. regulates digestion both in
stomach and intestines. cleans and
sweetens tn stomach and alimentary
canal, stimulates the liver to secrete
the bne and impurities from the blood.
1t is sovereign remedy used in many
thousands Of households all over the
civilized world for more than half a
century by those who have suffered
with indigestion. nervous dyspepsia.
sluggish liver, coming up of food, pal
pitation, constipation and other In
testinal troubles. Sold by druggists
and dealers everywhere. Try bottle,
take no substitute.-Adv.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1920-02-27

"What are the chances to get rich
quick in this town." asked the flash
Ily-dressed man who had just alighted
in ChiggersvilIe from the afternoon
accommodation.
"There are the usual opportunities,
I guess" replied Squire Witherbee.
"Goodr
"But there was a slick Teller through
here about month ago and I'd adj
wise you not to try to duplicate his
methods until another generation has
had time to grow up."-Birmingham
Age-Herald.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1920-02-27
PUT CREAM IN NOSE
AND STOP CATARRH


You feel fine in a few moments.
Your cold in head or catarrh will be
gone. Your clogged nostrils Will open.
The air passages of your head will
clear and you can breathe freely. No
more dullness. headache; no hawking,
snuffling, mucous discharges or dry
ness; no struggling for breath at
night.
Tell your druggist you want a small
bottle of Ely's Cream Balm. Apply a
little of this fragrant, antiseptic
cream in your nostrils. let it penetrate
through every air passage OF the head
soothe and heal the swollen. infiamed
mucous membrane, and relief comes
instantly.
1t is just what every cold and ca
tarrh sufferer needs. Don't stay
stuffed-up and miserable.-Adv.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1920-02-27

The man who sometimes spoke his
thoughts aloud had been more con.
cerned with the things of the world
than with things spiritual. One day
by chance his hand fell upon a book
containing the catechism of a certain
Protestant church, and he was soon
earnestly engaged in reading the Ten
Commandments. For some time he
pondered over the "Thou shalts' and
''Thou shalt nots." which had been for
gotten almost since childhood. Then.
laying down the book with sigh, he
muttered:
"Well, I've never killed anybody,
anyway. "-Exchange
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1920-02-27

Poverty is more of a punishment
than It is a crime.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1920-02-27
Thousands Have Kidney
Trouble and Never
Suspect 1t
Applicants for Insurance Often
Rejected.

Judging from reports from druggists
who are constantly in direct touch with
the public, there is one preparation that
has been very successful in overcoming
these conditions. The mild and healing
influence Of DR.. Kilmer's Swamp-Root is
soon realized. It stands the highest for
It's remarkable record Of success.
An examining physician for one Of the
prominent Life Insurance Companies. in
an interview on the subject, made the as
tonishing statement that one reason why
90 many applicants for insurance are re-
jected is because kidney trouble is so
common to the American people, and the
large majority Of those whose applica-
tons are declined do not even suspect
that they have the disease II is on sale
at all drug stores in bottles Of two sizes,
medium and large.
However, if you wish first to test this
great preparation send ten cents to Dr..
hilmer a Co., BingEamton, N. Y, for a
sample bottle. When writing be sure and
mention this paper.-Adv.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1920-02-27

A friend of mine while motoring 10
the East had an amusing experience
which he related to me recently. Drlv-
ing through New Hampshire he
stopped pityingly when he saw WON
an beginning the climb Of a mile-long
upgrade. My friend is considerably
under thirty and the woman was sixty
or more. sallow, squirrel toothed,
crooked and bony. He raised his hat
and asked: MAY give you ride,
madamT She glared and snapped /:
"No, sir. you can't. I'm none Of your
city tlirts, I'd have you know
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1920-02-27

The place was clean and the food
was good but sparing-one chop was
served apiece. Across from me sat
the Notwithstanding man had ever
seen. His face looked so hungry and
emaciated that couldn't bear to look
at him. The man next to him left his
seat With the words. II guess there
is little more picking on that" he
reached over to the deserted plate,
picked up the discarded chop and
greedily munched the bone.-Exchange
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1920-02-27

She was going down in the elevator.
Her voice had a touch of sadness that
almost approached emotion.
Hardly bit of use for me to go
out to lunch" she said to her girl
friend. Everything l like I can't
eat-turnips or sauerkraut-well, /
amt so crazy about boiled cabbage,
but it does taste kind O. good. Oh,
dear"
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1920-02-27
Get READY
FOR '"FLU'
Keep Your Liver Active, Your
System Purified and Free From
Colds by Taking Calotabs,
the Nausealess Calomel
Tablets, that are De-
lightful, Safe and
Sure,

Physicians and Druggists are ndvis-
ing their friends TO keep their systems
purified and their organs in perfect
working order as a protection against
the return of influenza. They know
that a clogged up system and a lazy
liver favor colds, Influenza and serious
complications.
To cut short a cold overnight and TO
prevent serious complications take one
Calotab at bedtime with a swallow Of
water-that's all. No salts, no nausea,
no gripping, no sickening after effects.
Next morning your cold has vanished,
your liver is active, your system is puri-
fed and refreshed and you are feeling
fine with a hearty appetite for break
fast Eat what you please-no danger.
Calotabs are sold only in original
sealed packages, price thirty.fve cents.
Every druggist is authorized to refund
your money if you are not perfectly
delighted with Calotabs.-(Adv.)
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1920-02-27
CONVENIENT!
If Constipated. Bilious OF
Headachy, take
"Cascarets.'

Cascarets never grippe, slcken or in.
convenience one like Salts, OIL. Gallo
mel or harsh Pills. Feel bully Be eff
cientl Don't stay sick, bilious, head
achy, constipated. Remove the liver
and bowel poison which is keeping your
head dizzy. your tongue coated. your
breath bad and stomach sour. Why
not spend a few cents for a box of
Cascarets and enjoy the incest, gentlest
laxative-cathartic you ever expert
enced? They work while you sleep. Adv.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1920-02-27
RECIPE FOR GRAY HAIR.

To half pint Of water add OF. Bay Rum,
O small box of Barbo Compound, and u
OF. Of glycerine. Apply to the hair twice a
week until it becomes the desired shade.
Any druggist can put this up or you can
mix it at home at very little cost. 1t will
gradually darken streaked, faded gray hair,
and viii make harsh hair soft and glossy.
1t will not color the scalp, is not sticky or
greasy, and does not rub off.-Adv.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1920-02-27

~ took Prof. Jiggs out for ride in
my car the other day."
"Yes2"
Hes fully as absent minded as you
said he was. He was thinking about
something all the time we were riding
and never once opened his mouth"
Il think can explain that. He was
probably counting the number Of joIts
you were giving him and calculating
how much energy was wasted every
dime he was hurled into the air."-Bir-
ningham Age-Herald.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1920-02-27
A Guass

where have those dummy directors
been?" inquired Mr.. Cassius Chex.
TO. board meeting" answered Mr..
Dustin Stax.
What kind of boardT'
Dunno for sure. Judging from sew
ernl of the actions It must have been
some kind of a ouija board"
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1920-02-27

Representative Frear of Wisconsin
was talking about army supplies.
Most Of our army supplies" he
said, "were good-costly but good.
Now and then. however, the supply
department struck a snag.
II said to a doughboy joker one
day:
"'Why, George, is that a wound
stripe you've got on your armT
Yes, sir, it is, sir said George.
allow did you get itT said l.
"'Shavln' myself. sir said George,
with an army razor"
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1920-02-27
You are invited to write for free advice

No other medicine has been so sue
eessful in relieving woman's suffering
as has Lydia Z. Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound. Women may receive free
and helpful advice by writing the Lydia
=. Pinkham Medicine Co, Lynn, Mass.
Such letters are received and answered
by women only and held in strict
confidence.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1920-02-27
SHE THOUGHT DYEING
WAS OLD FASHIONED
But "DIamond Dyes" Made Her Faded,
Shabby, Old Garments
Like New.

Don't worry about perfect results.
Use diamond Dyes" guaranteed to
give new, rich, fadeless color to any
fabric, whethC 1t be wool silk. linen,
cotton or mixed goods = dresses,
blouses, stockings. skirts, children's
coats, feathers-everythin
Direction Book in package tells how
to diamond dye over any color. To
match any material. have dealer show
you diamond Dye" Color Card.-Adv.
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1920-02-27

% NIA a. NSNAaa
At times l could not
walk at all and /
suffered with m y
back and limbs so /
often had TO stay in
bed. ! suffered of
a n d on for eight
ye ars. Finally l
heard that Lydia L.
Pinkham's Vege-
table Compound was
a good medicine and
tried it with splen-
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1920-02-27

''IIe is n man Of extremes in his
moods. He is either up in the garnet
or down in the cellar"
swell, If he was prudent enough to
lay I'm a private stock / bet most Of
the time he's down in the cellar"
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1920-02-27

"What have you here?"
"a humorous article entitled, The
Funny Side of Straphanging.'"
1.-THE idea of anybody being able to
see the funny side of straphanging
"Oh. 1t can be done, if you view
straphanging from the right angle.
The author of this piece occupied n
seat"
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1920-02-27

Frlend-A bull. then. is an optimist
and bear is pessimist.
Operator = Well. not exactly.
should call bear an optimistic pes
simist. He thinks things are going to
smash and hopes to make money il
they do
Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1920-02-27

Nothing Lett
Ragged little Tom Brown had been
committed to Juvenile hall, where he
was Immediately given a bath, clean
clothes, had his hair washed and cut
short. His old clothes were burned.
As his adenoids interfered seriously
with his breathing they were removed.
When he had recovered from the OPP
GRAFTON the matron noticed that there
was an unusually big and dishguring
wart at the end Of his thumb.
''Tom," she said, ''I'll see that this
wart Is removed today"
A look of absolute disgust spread
over Toms face. "Goshi" he exclaim-
ed. Don't you let fellow keep any
thing here?"-Harper's Magazine.