Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-12-02
Paw Knows Exerxthing,

Paw Knows Everything.
Millie-Paw, what is an unreasonable man?
Paw-Any man who takes the opposite side
of the argument, my son.
Bromides.
Most folks think that they are smart,
But, take them all together,
And when they meet you they will start,
To talk about the weather.
The Horrors OF Prohibition.
How did my umbrella get busted this way -
demanded Mr.. Rounder. the morning after the
"How do 1 know ?" replied Mrs. Rounder.
when l got up this morning I found your
umbrella under your bed and your shoes in the
umbrella stand"
Costly.
These high-cost days it almost breaks
A fellow to buy eggs and Steaks,
And much dough you will have to use
If you would purchase clothes and shoes.
Unreasonable.
Daddy. 1 don't think Mother knows much
about raising children said little four-year-
old Dorothy.
: What makes you think so9" asked her Faith
WELL, she makes me go to bed when 1 am
wide awake, and she makes me get up when /
am awfully sleepy was the reply.
.Black Diamonds Is Right!
The North wind doth blow.
And we shall have Snow,
And what will Consumer do then, poor thing!
He'll rave and storm,
And to keep himself warm
The Coal Barons he will Col Ding. poor thing!
Well, George Ought to Know. He's Married
(Houston Post.)
Luke McLuke says woman suffrage has Great
ed two Heads of the House in the same family.
You are very much mistaken, Luke. She re-
mains the sole head of the house just as she was
before she could vote.
Boy Page Riley Wilson,
A compositor on a Huntington newspaper
got the name of the State into the sheet this
way: wet Virginia"
Glad He Amt a Dumb Waiter.
On the tables In the dining room of a fash
ionable hotel. in Louisville, KY, are cards bear
ing the walters number and his name. And one
table has this card:
Waiter No. Three
Speaks"
Help!
Her days are fitted with want and strife;
She Is unhappy. and / know
She sees the seamy side of life.
Luke McLuke.
The poor thing is so saving, too.
She carefully will cut and haste;
Just watch her and it's certain you
Will see there Is but little waist.
-Newar Advocate.
Haw. Haw!
L. E. Mark, OF Middletown, Ohio. weighs 800
pounds. He has a son who is a freshman at
I'm sorry. dad. for a mischance
Just when my funds are at the bottom;
Alas, dear dad, I've lost my pants,
And I'm afraid the sophs have gottum."
And dad sent this reply:
I'm sorry, SON., your s. o. s.
Came when my dough was very low;
But 1 can't leave you trouserless,
Though naked I myself must go.
I've sent my pants. and I hope that
They will not let the cold wind git you;
And, since you say you're getting fat,
Here's hoping that the pants will fit you."
You Win!
NASHVILLE Tennesseean.)
When a woman looks worried and melancholy,
you can't tell whether it 10 a broken heart or
a tight corset:-Luke McLuke. The only fem
mime worry worse than a tight corset is a
tight husband, Ell, Luke?
Names Ii Names.
You can c. A. Pippin in Ozark, Ala.
Our Daily Special.
Some Men Break Their Friends When They
HoOrayi
Fishing must be good at Frankfort, KY. ANY,
way. you can C. A. Fish there. and his daughter
is Carrie B. A. Fish.
Things may be bad but don't be blind.
You may be sick, but never mind,
Folks are not walking slow behind =
Your hearse!
Luke McLuke
Though trouble may knock at your door.
Be brave!
Though life may be sometimes a bore,
Folks are not strewing flowers Ger
Your grave!
Canton (ohio) News.
Famous Cans.
Tomato.
Ash.
R~epubli.-Billie Wood.
Whaddy va Mean, 'RattIing."
that A. Slaughter advertises; "A rafting good
car" for sale.
Notice!
We're not going to miss a chance to meet
Miss A. Chance. of Lynch Mines. Ky.
Our Daily Special.
a Man Never Puts Off Until Tomorrow The
Things that He Should Not Do To-Day.
Luke McLuk Says
Another reason why a girl doesn't mind being
hair up in curriers' every night than have It nat
urally curly.
After listening to an amateur harp player
practice, a fellow gets an idea that maybe
Heaven won't be such a delightful place. after
all.
Too many Christians let the Lord do all the
work and then they take all the credit.
RIPPING RHYMES
By Walt Mason.
WEARY OF VIRTUE.
For months I save the d1lars with energy