davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The daily Gate City and constitution-Democrat. (Keokuk, Iowa) 1916-1922, 1920-03-31
HOW TO FIGURE INCOME TAX.

In the first place 1t must be worked
out by algebra, astronomy, trigononm-
etry and syntax, and then you arrive
at an answer which may be correct
and may not. If your income is ST..
400 per year, and you have diamond
ring and an automobile and are mar
ried to brunette girl "26 years old,
you take the amount of W, income,
and your personal property, subtract
the street number multiply by your
height, add your wife's age, and divide
by your telephone number.
II you have a child, you subtract
5000 from your income, add the
amount of your personal property,
multiply by your waist measure, sub
tract the size of your collar. add the
child's age, multiply by the amount
you have given the church during the
year, and divide by the number of
your automobile license tag.
If there is a second child you deduct
$500 from your income, add the weight
and age Of the child, divide by The
date OF your birth, multiply by the siza
of your hat, and subtract the weight
of your mother-in-law.
If you have IL all figured out correc.
thy. subtract the result and pay the
balance.
The daily Gate City and constitution-Democrat. (Keokuk, Iowa) 1916-1922, 1920-03-31
A TAX ON TALK.

New York Times: Isn't Governor
Sproul Of Pennsylvania rather cpl
grammatic than positively helpful to
his fellow citizens when he tells them
that there is too much talk and not
enough work in the United States at
present? "The American people
learned to talk during the war drives"
he says. "and some Of them. haven't
stopped" Was more work ever
done in the United States than in the
time of the war drives? And talk is
necessary to the health of a great
many people. Governments, political
campaigns, "banquets.' to go no fur
ther, cannot be carried on without 1t,
What is parliament but a talkery?
Like poetry, talk is relieving to the
talker. In every village and city,
wherever notwithstanding men and
women exist are many, many persons
who must speak or they will die with
all their music in them.
There is time for speech and
time for work. There is time enough
for both Still, II we consider the
search for ne.v sources of taxation,
where could one be found more pro.
ductive than tax, a graduated tax,
with surfaces on talk? OF course.
there would have to be ample deduc-
lions and exemptions for politicians.
The daily Gate City and constitution-Democrat. (Keokuk, Iowa) 1916-1922, 1920-03-31
CLASS OF SAL is
CLEANS KIDNEYS
If your Back is aching or BLADDER
bothers, drink lots Of water
and eat less meat.

When your kidneys hurt and your
back feels sore, don't get scared any
proceed to load your stomach with
lot Of drugs that excite the kidneys
and irritate the entire urinary tracL
Keep your kidneys clean like you
keep your bowels clean. by flushing
them with mild. harmless sails
which removes the body's urinous
waste and stimulates them to theu
normal activity. The function OF tns
kidneys is to filter the blood In 81
hours they strain from it 500 grams
of acid and waste, so we can reaolj
understand the vital importance y
keeping the kidneys active. !.
Drink lots of water-you can
drink too much; also get from any
pharmacist about four ounces OF Jau
Salts; take a tablespoonful In gas
&c water before breakfast each morn
ing for a few days and your kidne!s
will act fine. This famous salts "
made from the acid of grapes anu
lemon juice, combined with Ethla
and has been used for generations "
clean and stimulate clogged kidneys.
also to neutralize the acids in URINE
so it no longer is a source OF lrrlea'
ton, thus ending bladder weakness.
lad Salts is inexpensive; canno'
injure; makes a delightful e1erVes
cent Whitewater drink which ever,
one should take now and then y
keep their kidneys clean and active.
Try this, also keep up the wa.e'
drinking, and no doubt you will won,
der what became OF your kldne!
trouble and backache.
The daily Gate City and constitution-Democrat. (Keokuk, Iowa) 1916-1922, 1920-03-31
ONE REASON WHY WILSON /, ADAMANT

ties and giories of her native
England 8 His father could
tell him OF the banks and braes,
the lochs. the crags, the fens,
the moors OF Scotland.
For months battle royal has
been waged between the presi-
dent and the majority Of con-
gress over the text of the pro
posed league of nations, the ma,
jority OF congress holding that
il should be Americanized. by
such alterations or reservations
as would protect American rights
and relieve US from possible par
ticipation in foreign quarrels or
boundry disputes. except by au-
thorization OF congress. and also
such amendments as would give
US as many votes in the league
councils as Great Britain and
her possessions. In refusing to
coincide with these views, the
president is adamant. He holds
that the covenant, partial to
England as ii seems, is perfect
One eminent senator, in criticiz-
ing the presidents position, holds
that he has lost sight of his own
country and that in his last letter
he no longer speaks as an Amerf-
can. Without arguing this point.
we would ask, judging from his
heredity and early training. and
the traditions Of his parentage,
is there any reason why he
should speak as an American?
By descent he is Of alien heredi-
ty, no ancestral American blood
flows in his veins. Is it not
natural that he should take
position on this question more
favorable to England than to this
country; that he should do this
instinctively and unconsciousiy,
serving the land OF his forebears
while thinking he is serving the
land of his birth!
The daily Gate City and constitution-Democrat. (Keokuk, Iowa) 1916-1922, 1920-03-31

Alton. Ill. Times: The CORE
sronoenf OF Chicago paper. in
an oatb1rst OF patriotism. holds
that mo man should be eligible
TO the presidency who has not
three generations o. American
ism behind him" The sentiment.
though probably impracticable.
has much OF merit IL il, but does
that correspondent know, or does
The average citizen stop 10 think.
that the present president OF the
United States has not q single
generation Of Anericanism be-
hind him-no- a single genera
tion Of American ancestry or
heredity2 He is the SON of an
immigrant couple. but had the
good fortune to be born on
American soil and thus became
an American citizen and eligible
TO the presidency. President Will
sons mother was an English
lady, born and bred in England,
and his father was Scotch-lrish
clergyman This makes the
president half English and half
Scotch By heredity, but without
a trace of American descent.
This is saying nothing against
his family connection. His par
ents were highly educated and
cultivated coupIe-but they were
not Americans. That their son
could become the ruler of the
worlds greatest republic, OF
which he was only a citizen by
accident Of birth, not by heredity,
is tribute TO the possibilities Of
our institutions. as created by
the fathers, than which none
could be higher.
President Wilson's parents in
instructing him in childhood
could not point with pride to any
American ancestors. His
mother could tell him OF the beau
The daily Gate City and constitution-Democrat. (Keokuk, Iowa) 1916-1922, 1920-03-31
HIGH COST OF DRIVES.

Cedar Rapids Republican: 1t is oc-
curing TO some persons that it Is
costing too much 10 take up some Of
the collections. The word has been
passed around that money is easy to
get for all sorts of altruistic purposes
and that all that is necessary is TO
get up what they call drive" for
! the people like to be driven-as they
We're often driven like dumb cattle
during the war times in the name OF
patriotism, while those who spent the
money did not always dispose of it
in like spirit That is, they had too
much machinery to do the business
in hand. What business men call the
overhead" became something formid.
able.
And there are always a few, and
oftentimes many, of the favored ones
whose business 1t is to travel about
and inspect and encourage and see
Tat the rest are doing their work or
their giving promptly. These are
they who go on journeys across the
sea in times of peace and who ride
IN drawing rooms, when ordinary
Pullmans are not good enough. We
speak advisedly, for we ran across d
few OF them recently. They rode IN
drawing rooms while those who were
the givers OF the funds which they
were spending, in part, were very
well contented to ride in ordinary
Pullman seats-and some OF the
givers sat up all night in the day
coaches because they felt they could
not afford to pay for a bed on a
train
Those who dispense our charities
should not be too luxuriously in.
clined. 1t leaves bad taste in tho
mouths Of even the most charitable.
| Take even the noble Red Cross. for
which women and girls will leave
their homes and stand on the streets
| in front OF the postoffices and other
public buildings all day soliciting the
passersby to buy few stamps to
help the cause aIong-yes, take even
|, that at the present time In Iowa
there is said to me a man who gets
a commission on all that is given,
and he gets it for what is called his
organizing" abilities What he does
is circularizes the public to keep
them awake to the cause, and he
keeps on reminding the women and
the girls that they must work like
slaves to sell the stamps-and for
doing that he gets percentage Of
all they bring together, and his tolls
! for this year they say will be from
$4,000 to $4,000 The worker is
worthy of his hire, but what he does
is probably only sideline to him. 4
sort OF a pickup which he is able to
get on the reputation which he has
achieved as a promoter and stirrer-
up.
Probably it is all right, but there
is danger of having too much of this
sort of thing. In New York one
: may look in upon office buildings
which are packed full of clerks and
SO on whose business it is to make
fthe rest Of the people tisgorge for all
sorts of public charities and the
drive" managers talk about the peo-
pie as the stockmen talk about cattle.
The daily Gate City and constitution-Democrat. (Keokuk, Iowa) 1916-1922, 1920-03-31
TODAY'S BIT OF VERSE

TnE sfORM.
Inasszae ~ any
LIZ gay I~y 4AxAs4e4 L-Ao 23sal
Is sn4 gnLs n4s43- ao1gg s2l1 inr
Anp Ea4rId41ce LIE oluaIng storm,
AZ zigzag saSerIng and fro
Crossed and recrosssc The winged SLOW
nj TIE early bedtime came
The white drift piled the stncowf-a1e,
And through the glass the c4or1sslins posts
Looked II like tall and Eaested ghosts
60 all night long the storm rosred on;
TIE morning broke without sun;
In tiny spher-ie traced with lines
on Natures gsOnetrle signs,
In starry flake, and peiiicls,
All day the hne-y meteor fell;
And when the second morning shoae
We looked upou q world unknown,
On nothing we could cali
Around tn egiis1sntng wonder pelI
The blge walls Of the armament
NO eioud ADORE, earth below
universe Of sky and SLOW.
The oid familiar sights of ours
Took marvellous shapes strange do-ss and towers
Rose I'D where sty corrcrib stood,
Or garden wall or belt Of wood;
srooth white mound the brus5pile showed,
fenceless drift that road;
The bridleyosr an old sat
With loose-tfung coat and high cooked hat;
The wscur5 had a Chinese roof
And even the long sweep, high aloof.
In lis slant gp3sndor. seemed 70 tell
OF Pisa's leaning miracle ...
john Greenleaf White
The daily Gate City and constitution-Democrat. (Keokuk, Iowa) 1916-1922, 1920-03-31
SOCIALISM Is THE ENEMY.

tsAmnesty'' has been demanded for social
lists who have been imprisoned for offenses
which, if not technically treason, have been per
petrated by traitors. This amnesty" should
be stclnly refused.
Socialism is the enemy Of democratic free
dom Some socialists now pose as peaceful agi-
tators for reasonable reforms. They thus mask
their dangerous theories which, if carried out,
would destroy personal liberty. Socialism
means the confscation of capital, the absolute
domination Of the citizen by despotic system
pretending to be popular government, and the
virtual abrogation of the principles enuncat-
ed in the declaration Of independence.
The socialistic criminals deserve their pun
islnnent Congress has no power to annul their
sentences. Their object was to prevent the
The daily Gate City and constitution-Democrat. (Keokuk, Iowa) 1916-1922, 1920-03-31
~ oDso,cte ,noo. i.

Admiral Sims: l find that many
people are surprised that | had my
headquarters in London. The historic
conception of the commander-inchief
of a naval force located on the quar-
ter deck of his flagship still holds
the popular imagination But con-
trolling the operations Of extensive
and widely dispersed forces in cam
paign OF this kind Is quite different
from that of directing the
naval campaigns Of Nelson's time
just as making war on land has
changed somewhat from the method
in vogue with Napoleon. The opinion
generally prevails, even in our own
The daily Gate City and constitution-Democrat. (Keokuk, Iowa) 1916-1922, 1920-03-31
/ ~ i RHEUMATIC PAIN 4 81
j IA j Rub 1t Right Out--Try Thisl y, ID :

Timber up! Quit complaining Get
a small trial bottle OF old-time st
Jacobs Or at any drug store and ~
just a moment you'll be free from
rheumatic pain. soreness and stla
ness Don't suffer, Relief and a
cure awaits you. Get It. st. jacobs
Oil" is just as good for sciatica, neu
ralgia. lumbago, backache, sprains
and swellings
The daily Gate City and constitution-Democrat. (Keokuk, Iowa) 1916-1922, 1920-03-31

after-dinner speakers, public forum
orators, and Mr.. Bryan: but talk
tax would be solid economically. east
ly collected and highly productive.
We offer the idea respectfully to Gov
ernor Sproul and to all other states
men and speakers. A talk tax, hon.
estly. collected, would furnish so much
revenue that the excess profits tax
and the state and federal income tax
es could be taken off the backs of a
patient people.
The daily Gate City and constitution-Democrat. (Keokuk, Iowa) 1916-1922, 1920-03-31

United States from winning the war against
Germany. LII is to be hoped that President Wal
son has sufficient of intellect as well as VIII
power 10 withstand the attempt 70 allow irea-
son to escape with impuniry- Bolshevlsm ana
all forms of anti-Americanisn have their
poisonous roots In socialism, and the sooner il
is crushed the better it win be for the safety of
the American people.
The daily Gate City and constitution-Democrat. (Keokuk, Iowa) 1916-1922, 1920-03-31
Rheumatism is pain only"

Not one case in fifty requires inter-
nal treatment Stop drugging. Rub
the misery right away! Rub sooth-
ing, penetrating EST. Jacobs Oil" d.
rectiy into the sore, stiff joints and
muscles and relief comes instantly.
"St. Jacobs Oil" conquers pain. 1t is
harmless rheumatism cure which
never disappoints and does not blis-
ter.
The daily Gate City and constitution-Democrat. (Keokuk, Iowa) 1916-1922, 1920-03-31

Iowa Fails Citizen: So Colonel
Smith Brooknart IS 10 enter the lists
against Cummins Tor senator. Wen,
BrooshaIi is a pretty strong man and
a fighter. He viii probably make rs
much OF showing against the sen
ator as any man could make, but We
hardly thiuk that he can win.
Des Moines Capital: If the Unitea
States oil America cannot get along
successfully with Great Britain and
her dependencies then there is no
hope for peace in the world.
Cedar Rapids Gazette: Altogether,
Newberry's conviction will have
wholesome influence IN politics. OIner
miiiionaires will see that 1t doesnt
pay to buy political hOnors. And the
great majority Of people who are not
millicnaires will have their faith II
democracy. to some extent, at least,
revived.
Perry Chief: Why not send a tracer
after the investigation committee
living problem?
yinton Eagle: And forget it not,
raising wages will not produce nearly
such satisfactory results as raising
more cattle, hogs, corn, cabbage and
beans. This country to be real happy
must save its bulge at the waistband
instead OF in the pocket
Marshailtown Times-Republican
General Wood will find the Dakota
decision reversed in the Iowa pri-
maries. But Wood has a lot of
mighty good friends in Iowa, and de-
serves them However, this state is
for I.owden with the general as
second choice.
Waterloo Times-Tribune: And what
of America Who keeps now the
glow with which the American people
fought and won the big war-the
spirit of a nation which, after so
many yicissitudes and doubts, had
found itself?" Who remembers that
exaltation without feeling that true
Americanism is now obscured Amer
lean unity shattered, American great
ness betrayed?
Sac City Sun: If Senator Cummins
ever was in position to be useful
to his state and his country it is at
this time, when, retaining the full
ness of intellectual vigor, he is able
to apply his ripened experience to
the great problems now arising IN
our country's affairs. If Iowa is 20
go to the side of the radicals, whose
champion the Iowa Homestead has
become, Colonel Brookhart is perhaps
as good a man as could be chosen
for leadership.
Glidden Graphic: The Graphic has
not always been in accord with Sen
ator Cumnins, but it has no hes;.
fancy in saying that he should be re-
elected. At any rate, he should not
be defeated by such combination
as is now being formed against him.
The daily Gate City and constitution-Democrat. (Keokuk, Iowa) 1916-1922, 1920-03-31

naval circles, that my principal tas
was to command in person cer,a.
naval forces afloat. The fact IS tns
this was really no part Of my Jop uu'
ing the war.
The daily Gate City and constitution-Democrat. (Keokuk, Iowa) 1916-1922, 1920-03-31

The American dollar looks as big as a cart
wheel to a German, Frenchman or even an
Englishman but it looks to be about the SIZE
of pre-war dime to the average American.
The daily Gate City and constitution-Democrat. (Keokuk, Iowa) 1916-1922, 1920-03-31

President Wilson has called no cabinet meet
ing for more than seven months. Why is a
cabinet?
The daily Gate City and constitution-Democrat. (Keokuk, Iowa) 1916-1922, 1920-03-31

/ have never had feeling politically that
did not spring from the sentiments embodied
in the declaration of Independence. -Abra-
ham Lincoln.
The daily Gate City and constitution-Democrat. (Keokuk, Iowa) 1916-1922, 1920-03-31
IOWA PRESS COMMENT.

Iowa Fails Citizen: So Colonel
Smith Brooxhart is 10 enter the lists
against Cumm1ns Tor senator. Wen,
BrooshaIs is pretty strong man and
a hgnter. He viii probably make rs
mucn OF showing against the sen
ator as any man could make, but We
hardly thiuk that he can win.
The daily Gate City and constitution-Democrat. (Keokuk, Iowa) 1916-1922, 1920-03-31

Glidden Graphic: The Graphic has
not always been in accord with Sen
ator Cummins, but it has no hes;.
fancy in saying that he should be re-
elected. At any rate, he should not
be defeated by such a combination
as is now being formed against him.
The daily Gate City and constitution-Democrat. (Keokuk, Iowa) 1916-1922, 1920-03-31

Proiteers have a good chance to invest for
pleasure some Of their ill-gotten gains, IN the
offer Of the government TO sell submarine chas-
ers for twenty thousand dollars. The people
oh, yes, the government-paid sixty thousand
dollars apiece for them; and in spite OF the fact
that about everything has gone up these yes
sells are being offered at twenty thousand dol
lars.
The daily Gate City and constitution-Democrat. (Keokuk, Iowa) 1916-1922, 1920-03-31

Des Moines Capital: If the Unitea
States oil America cannot get along
successfully with Great Britain and
her dependencies then there is no
hope for peace in the world.
The daily Gate City and constitution-Democrat. (Keokuk, Iowa) 1916-1922, 1920-03-31

Perry Chief: Why not send a tracer
after the investigation committee
named to look into the high cost OF
living problem?
The daily Gate City and constitution-Democrat. (Keokuk, Iowa) 1916-1922, 1920-03-31

yinton Eagle: And forget it not,
raising wages will not produce nearly
such satisfactory results as raising
more cattle, hogs, corn, cabbage and
beans. This country to be real happy
must save its bulge at the waistband
instead OF in the pocket.
The daily Gate City and constitution-Democrat. (Keokuk, Iowa) 1916-1922, 1920-03-31

Marshailtown Times-Republican
General Wood will find the Dakota
decision reversed in the Iowa pri-
maries. But Wood has a lot Of
mighty good friends in Iowa, and de-
serves them However, this state is
FOR I.owden with the general as
second choice.
Imperial Valley press., 1920-03-06

market stronger. quality and condi-
ton generally good, California crates
Iceberg, $2.50@3.00; some wasty low
as $2.25.
PITTSBURGH-44 degrees. clear.
5 cars California arrived. Opening
prices today. demand and movement
slow, market dull. Sales to jobbers:
few early sales, California and Ari-
zona: quality and condition generally
good. California crates Iceberg, S2.25
@2.50. Florida: quality and condition
wide range, 1a bushel hampers Head,
best. $3.50: poorer low as $1.00.
CHICAGO-43 degrees, raining; 4
cars California arrived; 81 cars on
track. including broken. Demand slow,
movement limited, market weak. Sales
to jobbers: California. Imperial VAL
lev. California crates Iceberg, $2.25@
IN
Imperial Valley press., 1920-03-06
,e season is fast approaching.

the season is fast approaching.
Following is the market report of
the principal centers of the country:
KANSAS CITY-15 degrees, snow
during the night. Four cars Arizona,
6 cars California, cars Texas arrived.
15 cars on track. including broken.
car diverted. Sales to jobbers-de-
mand and movement slow, market
steady. California crates Iceberg, I'M
perial Valley, $2.25@2.5O; poorer
$500.
PHILADELPHIA degrees, fog
gy. l car California, IL cars Florida
arrived; 8 cars on track, including
broken. Demand and movement mod
crate. Sales to jobbers-Florida: mar
ket steady, quality wide range, con-
dition generally good, many leafy, l V
bushel hampers head $1.5O@2.00;
'small, wasty 50c@$1.00. California: !:
Imperial Valley press., 1920-03-06
SURVEYORS WORK
NEAR SALTON SEA

Surveyors from the United States
department of the interior have been
busy all this week running lines on
the land that has been reclaimed
from the homeseekers within short
time. Preference rights by those al
ready living on same will probably be
allowed though the officers of the
United States land office at Ell Cen
tro state that there will be a delay
pending the decisions of congress on
the soldiers claims. The plats of the
surveys that are being made at pres
Imperial Valley press., 1920-03-06
25 CARS LETTUCE
LEAVE HEBER FOR
EAST LAST NIGHT

Lettuce has been leaving the valley
at tremendous rate the past two
days. Wednesday SS cars left the val
ley and yesterday SO cars were
shipped out.
Prices in the east have taken a
slight turn for the better and this
accounts in a large measure for the
increase in shipments. The peak of
Imperial Valley press., 1920-03-06

parts of sections as are entirely out
side the reach of the sea. The sur
veys extended from the south side of
township 10, range 13 to its northern
limits, a distance of six miles.
Imperial Valley press., 1920-03-06

ent VIII be on flIe at the land Office
in Ell Centro on and after April Is.
BY strange freak of nature the
Salton sea was higher during the past
week than it had been before in a
year due to he rise from rains of
the previous week, mention of which
was made in The Press several days
ago. The result of the rise of the
sea is that several half sections are
not being surveyed at this time be-
cause they are partly under water.
whereas that would not have been the
case two weeks ago. The instruc-
tons to the surveyors were very ex-
plicit on the point and called for the
surveying only of such sections an