The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-06-28
MEN, WONTEN
 AND THINGS

attempt to tell joke in the presence of men who know every one that has come down since Noah let loose the original pair out of the ark"
 
 I did not mean to handicap the other speakers who were to follow me, for once in my life 1 had been called to "open the show" instead of closing it. I had great sympathy for George Stuart, who at a recent meeting, being the last man on the programme, with smile said: Tt has been my misfor tune all my life to be a tail-ender.'
 I sometimes say that one reason I am asked to talk at so many public meetings comes from the fact that whenever Birmingham crowd sees me rise to my feet it's a ray of hope. for it means that it ends the talk fest" It has the same comforting effect that comes over a congregation when a preached pulls out his watch and lays it on the pulpit. The members have a hope that he will quit time.
 l
 | in one right now before I forget it. The curtain had dropped and the audi ence at the vaudeville had retired, but one man kept his seatS until an usher came and touched him on the shoulder and requested him to vacate. But he stolidly sat, and when pressed to go. said: You can't fool me, the show | it ain't?" hotly answered the usher. We'll parried the obstinate one, "Ain't nobody told Ford joke yet" He felt that no show could close without some reference to ''tin-Lizzies.' It sometimes seems to me that Rirming- ham audience thinks meeting isn't over until l talk, and when I do every body is willing to leave.
 In all boyish games. every fellow wants Tfirst-go," but as rule no vau deville team ever wants to "open the show" no after-dinner speaker ever wishes to start the programme. Every rracticed speaker wants the other fel- lows to get the bunch tuned up before | Il. collar" to a crowd intent on enjoying the dessert and sipping the last dregs of their after-dinner coffee, frequently upsets even a professional diner out.
 
 And so when I jumped up without tany warning at the dinner of the com nercial travellers, I didn't have the nerve to tell a story and so unblush- | |. Fl ht of trying to prevent John Hornady, Jeff Bailey, or Bill Brandon from ringing ! i'll their favorite chestnuts. If my re- marks had had the least influence upon them I would have felt bad over it, but all three of them spoke as if they had not heard what I had said, for they pulled their favorite ones without inn punity, and what's more, got by with them.
 I never tire of affirming that the people like the old jokes best. just as they love the old hymns better than the new ones. I used to travel with Dr. A. P. Montague over the state visit ing the Baptist associations-he in the interest of Howard College while I was , presenting the claims and merits of the Alabama Baptist. Some people won dered how he could raise so much money in the country. It was simple enough to me, for before he would |; make his appeals he would say, Now, brethren, we will rise and sins one of the dear old hymns which comforted ou, fathers and mothers" And when they had sung it Justify they were in a mood to give"
 There, is, however, one comforting thing about using an old joke, for there is possibility that in the crowd there , is at least one man who has never heard it. This was the case at the travellers banquet, for when John Hor- nady, refusing to be intimidated by what had said about my fear of pull , ing az joke with "whiskers" on it, he calmly proceeded to relate the one about the fellow who had put his notes in his inside coat pocket for reference, and in the midst of a patriotic outburst. { forgetting the name of the heroes, glanced at the lapel and shout out, Hart, Schafner and Marks" It's a pretty good story, and John told it well. hut the real joke was that Dr. J. NJ, Broadly, who sat next to him. like to l, fell out of his chair for laughing. and unashamed admitted he had never heard it before.
 , It's an old saying that "an idea be- ] longs to the man who can entertain it." . I take the bold stand that joke is the f property of any one who knows how to tell it. l have seen some of the best jokes in the world absolutely slaugh- tered in the hands of -bung,er all of the life being strangled out of them; E while on the other hand I have heard 1 some rotten ones in the hands of a master convulse a crowd, and I am sure 0 that you who read this have had similar a experiences.
 Take my friend, Judge w. w. Bran- dor of Tuscaloosa. He has reduced story telling to science, and made the telling of jokes fine art. Now, 'Bnp' has a repertoire in which the old and e the new are about equally mixed. but | it does not make the slightest differ ence to his audience whether he srpings h a new one or plays an old one for every n one of his hearers knows for a dead a moral certainty that if it be new, he will tell 1t with eclat and if it be as old as Methusaleh he will freshen it ur O until it will renew ifs youth.
 Il But do not get the idea that blair Williams" quiver is full of arrows that q have been shot many time by himself . and frequently by others, for he is men ;, tally alert and has the ability on the lspur of the moment to use material dropped by others and turn it to his U benefit. I'll give . case in point. Dr ' Prcady used an illustration of how g $ fria of h,5 ad 2