The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-03-15
Am Having My Fling
Wrote Suicide-Slayer
In Diary of Her Soul
CONTINUED from First Psxs.)

~ VI 49,
building eating marshmellows from .
bag. Thss at An the msrsiss !
was In such pain ! lepked ~ ale.
Even now I do not feel well. Gin
doesn't carry right and ! sA iesisg
respect for him.
AUGUST s.-sunday night-Four
OF us at the Stratford for dinner.
clifford told me that everyone has
the impression that Tm apysody's
girl
God bless him. ~ Z. up 10 vac 20
prove 10 hta that I'm straight. !
Could I become HIS wifef Could !
ever trust any msa sSssnf
AUGUST 5.-Clir saw me at lunch
with Les and was sure angered. He
left at 1 40 and was back again as
he had no key home. We rcad and
talked In the den till dawn. Ciin
is SO wonderful and l feel SO insig-
nificant. Cliff does like me a little or
he would not spend so much time
with me. His voice is so kind and
gentle when he says, "My little Kit
ten, Kitten." Oh, Gin! Cliff!
Clin and Ruth Eater "Marriaxe Pact
Poor Les was here yesterday sor-
rowful at having broken his VOW
that / would be the only woman In
his life. 1 want only Clifr.
AUGUST S.-Monday night Les
left for Detroit with Clifr. Report
ed suicide OF Jordan Lambert
AUGUST IL, 1890 p. M.-Sitting
at foot of couch in the den. Gin
mapping. God bless him. He and !
have entered into q marriage pact
according to our own ideas. I am 30
RAJ
looked for apartment for CHE and
me.
AUGUST 16, THURSDAY 10 A M.
Cliff Just LEFT. We are going to
Pistakee Bay to an Italian hotel for
our honeymoon. He Is SO good to
me. No wonder I care so much. He
says that everything he wrote In that
first letter to me Is sacred as an
oath. when l get my decree we will
have our ceremony.
AUGUST 22.-Signed lease at 4U25
Ellis avenue till September. 1918.
Everything o. X. don't know
met Clin or not. l am alone so much.
l wonder what I'll be writing about
Cliff n year from now.
Fears Cliff Does Not Care Enough.
Nornt's Little Girl" IL having her
cling" She was intoxicated yestcr-
day-arst time In her life-poor child.
God help me. am weak.
But l am alone. Cliff doesn't care
for me enough. 1t is lightly, pas
sionlessly. l must make him care
more or be utterly miserable. / long
for companionship. tenderness, men
tai and spiritul comaraderie-some
one to help me live outside of my
SELF
Cliff pretends to care a lot, but I'm
simply a little playthinE. what II
SO despicabIe Is that 1 am willing TO
be that OF anything 10 that he IL
with me. l am waiting tonight
alone, waiting for him-and knowing
he won't come. oh, God, have mercy.
Comfort me. Take me. Keep me.
Help n lonely girl!
AUGUST 25.-Last Friday 1 moved
to No. 1923 Ellis. l like 1t. Cliff
likes it. 1t is ours, and yet yester-
day when he came he rang instead
of using his key. / understood him.
but he doesn't understand don't
care to think Of this place - mine.
1t Ii Ours-Ours-or nothing to me.
Phoned Norm today. Met him at
2:30 and had luncheon. Poor boy.
To me Cliff is everything that
want He doesn't love me enough,
but I hope 1t will come. I wonder If
can wait. l haven't yet decided
broke his henri when our little one"
had gone. He said II would have
kept us together. I snail always be
glad that the child died before she
grew old enough to understand any
thing. She would have caused me
much happiness. but also misery at
the thought of her future. Here I
sit alone calmly writing with barely
a heartache. Have l turned to stone!
Am / mnd:
Harps On Her Longing for Death.
SEPTEMBER 9.-WelI, Diary. the
house is most all settled. I've paid
the storage and got the goods and
everything is here and arranged as
well as / could do it Poor Cliff, I'll
leave in a few moments now to meet
him. Am 1 SO UNIT that God cannot
take met
SEPTEMBER IS, SUNDAY, IL A.
M.-Friday night Les phoned at Joe's,
l saw him yesterday. He is gong
Monday to Fort Wayne to be a fire
man in Pennsylvania His friend,
Homer Smith, with whom 1 rode
home last night says Les talks OF
me continually. Poor Les, 1 think he
is getting me out of his system grad
ually though, and six months from
now will be utterly Indifferent
No word from Cliff, at Indian
Lake yesterday. I hardly thought
he'd come. It's all right if l never
hear from him. MY heart can't break
any more. but the pieces left will
drop out. They must. Again 1 am
beginning to wish was dead
throughput away. 1t must be a ia
tai disease. 1t is a fearful one. More
agonizing than any physical ills.
On Third Bottle of Beer.
SEPTEMBER 90 - Waiting for
Cliff. That's all I've been doing for
three weeks. I'm a fool. He's out
on a Job at Ono Hundred and Thir-
tvs venth street It's raining at 1880
and 1 have things in the house for
dinner. Cliff said he'd be here at
at the very latest. I'm so miser-
able. I'm on my third bottle OF beer
and can't even get happy or forget.
can't help but think I'm playing
the fool with Cliff. He surely doesn't
care and I do. and that's what makes