The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1920-03-25
TALES OF TOWN

Whiskers and weeds are the two
things that grow faster than the aver
age man wants them to.
! Al . rule, a surgeon IL not content
with taking the case. He also wants
to tinker with the works.
q = .
The fellow in Missouri who built
his own coffin and lined It with asbes-
tos no doubt believes in safety first.
The little English cock sparrow
can't sing worth darn, but he is .
regular little devil among the women
of his species.
| When you see = young lady wearing
low heeled pair OF shoes, make up
your mind that dad was around when
the shoes were bought.
. q
Come into the garden, Maude,
Bring on your rake and spade.
It's time you had the onions set
And the lettuce bed was made,
Q q Q
The woman who thinks that the
dace, az performed at the ordinary
public dance hall, is nothing but hug
ging, has never been properly Rugged.
We suppose the reason why the
"spit" ball has gone into the discard
is that the country has become SO dry
that the salivary glands won't secrete
any more.
II the precedent Of shooting a part
ner who trumps an ace, recently es-
tablished in Arkansas becomes an OBJ
legation we know a woman who hasn't
long to live.
Our personal liberties are being
taken away from us one by one. A
few days ago q man WAS elected from
train because he was carrying
sack containing five live baby skunks.
q . .
Potatoes are being used as the
standard Of currency in certain remote
agricultural districts Of Poland. This
spring potatoes are the dividing line
between the bourgeois and the prole-
tariat in Idaho.
According to dairy statistics, more
than a ton Of butter was made each
day and night, in the United
States last year. o, well, at an aver
age of 10 cents pound that's only |
$2,016,000. The COW should worry.
The Portland (Oregon) News took .
straw vote for President and Cover
nor Edwards, Of New Jersey, led. Old
Man Anheuser, Of st. Louis, would
make a fine running mate and Bud
night be taken on As private secretary
The H. c. L. fixes 1t so that ut the
md Of day Of hard toll the weary
can sleep soundly with no
haunting fear that his wife will take
money from his pocket while he sleeps,
IS she used to do regularly when he
rot about rs plunks = month.
Q Q .
Sir Auckland Geddes, the British |
to this country, will have
salary Of $12,500 and $751; for
expenses. That ar
angement will enable him to enter {
ain nicely, but we fancy he may have !
0 go barefooted and wear patched '
ants = part Of the time.
An old darky minister announced
hat he had invented an automatic '
election basket, which would be pass 3
1 around by the deacons Of the church 1
1t is so arranged, my brethren" said b
e, "dat if you drop quartah or half a
ollah, it falls noiselessly on a red o
lush cushion. II you drop in nickel b
will ring bell dat can indistinct- b
ally be heard by the entish congrega- v
on; but il you let fall button, my t
rethren, it will fiah off pistol" n
A prophet who merely guesses
ay or week ahead is a real piker
with the late Mr.. Nahum. |
he book of Nahum, which is in the I
ible. is short, but in the second
napier, fourth verse. he guesses
rusty: "The chAriots shall rage in
v streets; they shall jostls one
Eainst the other in the broad ways; 4
ley shall run like the lightnings." ?
nadia know about that! And they ),
admit even invented a carburetor in
albums time.
Q . .
A young mother, the possessor oil
very beautiful voice, ~ well ~ Of .
NO small sons, sent these boys one
ight to take = bath, Than seating :
srself at the piano for one hour she :
racticed the "StAr Spangled Banner" !
hich she had promised to sing Il the I