The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1920-11-12
What Happened to Horace
SHORT STORY By SEWELL FORD

the golf is good and foursomes easy
to get up, then the table is sure to be
punk or else the climate will go abck
on him. Maybe the eats will be grand
and the fairways only fit for cowpas-
lures He never can tell. All he's
sure of is that it'll be something or
somebody that'll drop the bee in the
cold cream, or the fly in the oatmeal,
or whatever the saying is.
It's so little that Horace asks too.
Everything in the world he wants is to
be let alone while he's making himself
comfortable and happy. If he was one
of these aimless, uncertain parties
who amt quite sure what they want
or would be different. But Horace is
sure. He could give complete list
any time you'd care to listen.
He awnts particular corner table
in the club grill, and his favorite
waiter; he wants his man to press his
| clothes just so, his caddy to stand in a
| certain place when he makes shot,
and his bridge partner to make the
exact lead that will fit his hand. Also
he'd like to have the thermometer
never drop below 70 or get above 76,
his trains always to be on time, and
rainy days to come only twice a
month. And when things happen
otherwise he put up a howl
"Say, how does he get that way?"
asked Mr.. Robert once.
"It's quite simple" says Mr.. Robert.
"By centering his attention on one
person-Horace Varney. Behold, Tor
chy, self-pampered old bachelor who
was once rather human and likeable
chap. Never develop an ego like that,
Torchy, if you can help it,
Fat chance I'd have" says l, with
job like mine. Still, Mr.. Varney
seems to thrive on it. Looks like quite
a husk."
| Horace takes rather good care of
himself" says Mr. Robert.
so it's kind of surprise, here a
month or so abck, when the word
comes in that Horace is in a private
hospital uptown and wants Mr.. Rob-
ert to come and see him. Somehow he
seems to be little shy on friends;
that is the sort he could call on in a
case like that. Anyawy Mr.. Robert
cancels a few business dates and
trots up.
"He may have been in taxi acct
dent" says Mr.. Robert.
"Or his ego may have shifted to the
wrong side," suggests.
But when Mr.. Robert comes back
he reports that both guests were
wrong. Horace has had trouble with
his appendix and has had to lose it..
He's all right now, though; at least,
as near as man can be who's just
had his plumbing revised and is still
ewarin' a silver tube in his side. But
it had all come so sudden, and Horace
has had so little experience along that
line, that he's had a big scare thrown
into him.
"Also," adds Mr.. Robert, che appears
rather indignant that such an outrage
GUS thing should be visited on him.
gather that Horace seems to think
that long standin' conspiracy to put
him on the fritz has come to head in
this final attempt and he don't know
just who to blame for it. Course, he
puts most of it on the doctor, who has
ordered him to lie fiat on his back
and won't let him have anything to
eat but baby food. He's some sore on
the nurse, too, and has confided to Mr..
Robert that she's cold-blooded, heart
less female who spoons cruel into him
with no more feelin' than she would
have in film an oil stove. And how
he's ever going to stand two or three
weeks of this he don't know.
81 fear they're going to find Horace
| oSiSA oiiAOuAI, says wi. 1eOOCl u,
shruggin' his shoulders. "He has been
so accustomed to having his own way
about everything, you see"
Anyway, it showed up the kind of a
friend Mr.. Robert could be in pinch.
Almost every day he finds time to dash
up for few minutes with Horace, and
when he can't get there himself he
never leaves for home at night without
sendin' him chirky message. And
the things he thinks of to cart up to
him-fowers and magazines and
cheerin' books and new puzzles. Now
and then he'd send me.
1t avs along in teh second week
that begun noticin' a change in Hor-
ace. I'd gone up with an odd mechan-
ical toy that Mr.. Robert had found in
some shop and for wonder Horace
seems quite interested in it, windin'