The Rock Island Argus and daily union. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1920-1923, 1920-12-29

II
VINO Dss,sJeas TIE usLovEo evss.
TO An UNFEELlNG TTPEWRTTER.
For half an hour I've sat and gaSed upon you
Nor laid . single finger on your keys;
No fngpiration comes from you, d0ggone you
You're dull and witless ~ = cottage cheese.
You can't be tired; what is the explanation
For Ill this lack Of effort you've displayed!
why can't YOU build this Tower OF Utilization
without demanding any further aid?
You have the ribbon, keys and mechanism;
A sheet Of papers in its proper place;
wake up, you dub, and write the Catechism
II nothing else! At least twill I'LL this space.
You're deaf to all the noises that surround you.
You never hear carriers wild yelp
Then what's the reason-tell me that confound
You cannot write this stuff without my help!
You're oiled and elsaaed- always treat -
kindly
The ribbon that you wear is bright and new,
So why refuse SO stubbornly, SO blindly
To do the Job I'm putting up to you?
You have no cerebrum or cerebellum.
You say? Oh, no; so THAT is what's amiss.
Well what's the diffrence? Not bit-yoa
You don't need brains for writing stuff like
this!
OF course you noticed The Argus on Christ
mas day was dated Dec rs. Ever so many
persons have reminded US Of it, including the
effervescing Willie G. and lady in Aledo who
makes sarcastic reference to the night before
Christmas
All, OUI; DE Pts EN- PTS!
Monsieur: In the Chitribune Of last Satur-
day Ella Peattie has this in a book review:
beginning with the insipient this is the word
as she spells i'll beginning OF slavery. -.
Looks as if Sister Ella was trying to start
something" doesn't it?
In another paper read I'VE owe our friends
an unpayable debt of grateful gratitude"
presume the writer Of this sentence received
something free gratis" don't you think? 1t
probably made him feel affectionate love to-
ward the donor; he possibly felt happy Joy
nest CO pas! How he must relish painting the
lily and gliding gold!
Why did We read on the top margin Of The
Argus for Christmas day, Saturday, Dec. Il"
This beats putting clocks ahead an hour
"[Forvard] roll ([forwardl o Time in thy
flight! E. W. 8.
The Deadly Correspondence Course.
From the Davenport Democrat.
Stockton, Cal.-Roy Austin Nickel.
10, was electrocuted at his home in Lodi.
near here, yesterday. while conducting
an experiment Nickel was taking q
i correspondence course in electricity.
pact Is IN SITE WITH JAPANESE
headlines our revered parent sheet Which
moves G. S. to inquire: why not Packed in
Placer"
THE REST OF THIS OLYUM D WILLIE
GREEN'S" LISTEN;
Sir: We love the ladies' and are willing to
sacrifice everything (almost) for their pleas
ure, so were not peeved when "Judas'-always
acknowledged a sly rogue-put one over on
you.
But why the sudden case Of severe modes
tits" in the curtailment OF my stuff. think
mother should be given the opportunity to ex-
plain just where her vest pocket is located.
Thanks for the compliment in saying 1 was
yourself or some OF your contribs are dis
Well, it is better to have complete under.
standing at the beginning.
WILLIE GREEN.
A SOBER second thought convinces us that
We should finish polishing this Peristyle OF
Ponderosity. Willie, we regret to state, grows
incoherent toward the close Of his contribution
to the S. of h. k. and begins spouting neal
poetry.
[sorry. Willie; it isn't near enough. Try
1t again1
ODD that while so many reminded US 81
The Argus Christmas date line, Zone mentioned
the story concerning the gifts Of the Wise Men
| which spoke of "the frank increase which they
also proffered."
THE president-elect is absorbed in picking
material for his cabinet.
! AND everybody else is absorbed in picking
it to pieces. R E. MIG,