davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-03-09
BATTING BRYAN.
Waterloo Courier.1

II appears that a bunch of crepe
hangers. in memory of the late John
Barieycorn, have broken loose in
Chicago. and elsewhere, and with a
great flourish of baZoos propose to
shove New Jerseys wet governor.
Edward Edwards, into the upholstery
now occupied by woodrow Wilson.
This outbreak should not unduly
alarm anybody. 1t is largely mus
cular reaction. John Barleycorn is
defunct altho his wailng disciples
don't fully realize 1t.
The Illinois outfit OF rejuyenators.
not satisfied to proclaim their ex-
tensive program for the resurrection
OF their patron saint, go step
further and with clenched teeth, hiss
q hectic defy to one. William Jen-
nings Bryan. Bryan - th"ir tarse';
the party they are after. It is a case
of let tn Brute Bryan had no Dus.-
ness-being a democrat-to horn in
to this liquor proposition. If he gets
all the exhilaration and cheer out
of grape juice that his nature Graves,
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-03-09

They were talking about horserac-
inA and taxes In the queer way that
men MIX subjects when they talk to-
gether. The hitler fellow was ASSERT
ins that he paid more taxes proper
tionateiy than the big fellow. why
no averred. there's Blanks place
put In at $4,000 and mine at $4,000
I'll will be glad to take his place at
that money and n little more and put
mine In at the valuation" But
said another, Blanks valuation ~
based on what he could sell 1t for AZ
q forced sale" Then the valuation
OF one and another place was dis
cnssed and argued over, what II was
worth. what Il would sell for. what
1t cost and what had been expended
upon II. We'll" remarked a member
OF the horseraclng contingent
when I used TO 60 10 the races
there was what was called a selling
race. The owners put their horses
into the race with a price set on
them. The lower the price the less
weight the horse had TO carry ana
consequently the better chance 10
win. Now when the race was over
any horseman could claim the horse
at the price his owner had entered
him. II the owner wanted to keep
the animal he bid against the claim
ants for him. Thus IAN owner VINO
had entered his horse at $1,000 IN
order 10 get advantage of weight
might have TO bid up to double that
in order to retain it. That money
was gone from his pockets. OF
course. there were arrangements De-
tween owners that one should not
bid another's horse up, but very OFT
en- somebody stepped in and claimed
the horse. why" he concluded
wouldn't that be a good plan 10
taxation? Let Dir. Man sci
q price on his place and leave II
open to claim and 10 his defense as
a bidder. If he had to pay for pro-
lection the county would get the coin.
or course. valuations would make an
awful Jump but we could equahze
that by the lower rate. You know II
has been argued for years that Iowa
should have approximately correct
valuation and a correspondingly low
ian raj. so thai foihs outside w0jii&
saw. Gee, but Iowa's tax rate is low
let's 60 10 Iowa. Huh. hows that!
lust a conversation around fhe
stove, a sample of the indoor sports
of the time. that's all. Merely Dit
Of talk in the radiator corner where
the principal indoor sport is talk. Oh
fered merely to show how people 90
talk" and what some folks would
10 if they were doing it"
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-03-09
WHY GRoCERs FAIL TO GET RICH.

Beware of the grocery business II
you would get rich, young man, at
least beware Of the retail grocery
business in spite of ali that you may
heas as to the profteers and the high
cost OF living. A man may make a
living as retail grocer and so may
a carpenter but just now the car
penter will pay more income tax
than the average grocer and no car
penter ever expects to catch up with
plumber. The young man who
would get rich must find a business
with more margin.
The editor has before him the
prospectus of a very successful chain
store company in the west which
has prospered because of good man.
agement. The manager has capital
stock to sell and presents its claim
to confidence on the ground that its
earnings from sixty stores will be
$50. 900 per annum.
Now who wants to have $4,000 in
vested in a grocery store, assume all
the hazard of prices going down
while goods are on the shelf and do
all the little chores of-seliing eggs and
butter at cost in the hope of max
ing something on coffee all for ~
per cent net profit on the capital
syndicate all do q big business, some
employing as many as ten clerks but
they average less than $1,000 pront
per year to the company which owns
them when a bod carrier can earn
that in less than forty weeks and
have twelve weeks vacation in the
winter.
A man could invest in an Iowa
farm, earn no more than 4 per cent
from his rents and if the farm should
double in sixteen years ne would
have earned 10 per cent with no risk
and no worry. Why would he want
to risk his money in the retail
grocery business for no greater re-
turn?
A great many profits are CONSUMED
between the grocer and the
eater of our foods. We de-
mand SO mucu of service,
refuse too buy foods in guam
titles ourselves or to store them and
expect the retailer to stand all
shrink, loss, breakage or waste and
prefer to pick out the best from
every pile and then when we pay the
price that this kind of service entails
we think somebody has profiteered
Invest your money in retail grocery
store and you will look elsewhere for
your prohteers. Get into some other
lines young man. II you would ever
own bank. Don't hunt for wealth
q. q. q Irtaii srvcery store.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-03-09
lowa Newspapers
HOME SEEKERS.
[Cedar Rapids Gazette

lCeQdr ttapiQS IdZeLue.l
1t is reported that in Cedar Rap
ids moving van drivers are being
stopped on the streets by home
hunters who demand to know where
the load of furniture they are haul
ing came from. Upon receiving the
desired information they hurry to
the vacated house to make first
claim on IT.
And more than that: Homeless
folks are watching the divorce court
news in the papers, and homes that
are about to be broken up by divorce
are beseiged in advance by persons
eager to move in as soon as the I'M
happy families move out.
1t is a mystery to many that there
is shortage OF homes today when be-
fore the war there was some sort Of
place for everybody to live in. To
some extent the shortage can be
ascribed to the immigration of coun-
try folks into the cities. To a much
greater extent it reflects a rising
standard Of living in the new
America.
The new America demands bath
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-03-09
eHiLANnER PUEEgp.UR.

Philander IL young; around - In
fact. He is clever. hardworking. LIZ
able. wants others to like ham. Yet
he 10 unpopular Just because he must
let everyone know that no has au-
thortty.
You see, It's like this. Phiiander
was until recently assistant to the
general manager Of . small factory
niakinE-lets call II dolls eyes 30 as
to keep away from actuaiities so far
as the commodity IL concerned.
His duties were TO run the factory
under tho policies laid down by the
general manager. He did 20 well that
when the &c. NJ" retired the direc-
tors announced that "on and after
this day Mr.. Philander Puffed-Up
will be general manager In place OF
Mr.. withers who has Just retired"
Now Philander was Unfortunately
proud Of his promotion-he had some
reason to be, of course. but he could
not omit single opportunity to i'm
press others with his Importance.
Add to this his strong desire to be
popular and you have the combina-
ton which opened o flood Of dislike
and distrust.
A young man applied to Philander
for job in the office. So far as
our conceited young friend knew
there was no vacancy, but was not
the concern growing rapidly? Would
there not soon be an opening? Be-
sides, he could not resist the oppor-
tunity to show the young applicant
for a job that Philander. Puffed-Up,
Esq, was the real thing.
So what does he do? Instead Of
telling the young man applying for
the job frankly that there is no open
ing at present he says: Come and
see me in two weeks and Ill find you
. Job"
OF the poor deluded young man
goes feeling happy in the thought
that he would be at work in two
weeks with good firm. He liked
Philander who had treated him 80
finely. and>I he was prepared to work
like a Trojan.
In two weeks time he turns up
for work. But Philander calmly
tells him: II am not quite ready for
YOU. but I'll notify you as soon as
I'm ready"
Time drags on until the applicant
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-03-09

theirs.
The large and unnatural amounts
made by stock sellers has done great
damage to legitimate industry. II
will be hard TO make young man
content to work for $40 per week In
some legitimate business after he
has put in a year in stock selling at
a profit Of $4,000 per month. There
were stock statesmen. plenty of them,
who were making $1,000 per month.
Others made $4,000 per month, and
in some cases the sums were beyond
Ill reasonable comprehension.
It is perfectly legitimate TO start
a new enterprise and sell stock for
that purpose. Several legitimate
corporations were put over In this
community and these were made the
basis of the great stock selling indus
try that followed.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-03-09
To COVER THE RECORD?

Webster City Fireman. Journal
II must have occurred to many of
Mr. Cobh's auditors that his plea for
independence in politics and his in
sistenCe upon the election of bust
ness man was influenced somewhat
by the candidacy OF Herbert Hoover,
the man around whom the leading
democrats are rallying because they
believe it is necessary to obscure
the record OF the democratic party
this year in order to defeat the re-
publican nominee for president.
Not a democrat of national promi-
nence, including MIR. Cobb, so far
as the Freeman Journal can recall,
ever suggested any but q copper
bottomed, iron ribbed, dyed-in the
wool democrat for president until 1t
became apparent that the present
occupant of the White House was
unavailable for a third term. When
that fact was impressed upon the
country, a movement was launched
for Herbert Hoover by such rank
democrats as the editor of the New
York World, Governor Edwards. of
New Jersey. and men OF that stripe,
and il is believed that President
Wilson is giving encouragement TO
the Hoover candidacy, as Mr.. HIS at
titude upon the league of nations
covenant is highly satisfactory to
Mr.. Wilson. Does anybody suppose
for a minute that the business quail
fications of Mr.. Hoover would ap-
peal to the New York World and to
Mr. Wilson but for the announce
ment of Mr.. Hoover that he is in
favor of the ratification OF the
treaty-league pact just as it came
from the peace conference or that his
business capacity would command
the support of Mr.. Cobb but for the
opportunity his candidacy is suppos-
ed to offer for the defeat of the re-
publican party?
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-03-09

There had to be an end to these
proceedings. The difficulties expert
enced by the Associated Packing
Company Will do more than the law
could do or any amount of newspa-
per editorials. The grand jury will
be found to be unequalled as mis-
sionary society. We are told that the
regular, scientific, iron-bound. cop
per-bottomed stock sellers who have
made their homes in Des Moines.
have faded away; have disappeared
since the states procedure against
the Associated Packing Company.
Numerous stock statesmen started In
to work on legitimate basis. Sue
cess sharpened their wits. Wealth
nun1bed their consciences and they
reached that point where they were
not concerned about anything ex-
cept TO dispose Of the stocks and to
get the cash.
The people Of Iowa will breath
easier and every legitimate industry
will be benefited II the legal pro-
ceedings shall be able to do what
public opinion has been unable to do.
Stirrups were unknown to the an
clients
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-03-09
Ripping Rhymes
By WALT MASON
THE CROOK.


prince getch sharks and his
his
stately fooled
morning missing
him trunde his costly
uey There threats
Gone the crook who did the
a doubling
the sand M and tear hair
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-03-09
John Burroughs
I, 3 Nss''ss..s

Twin all the seeds from n ny
brid flower produce the hydro
strains
s.--How do sparrows scratch Tor
seede
S.--Do toads originate. like frogs,
from tadpolesf
Answers 20 Yssterday's Questions.
1.--Are ostriches loyal to their
mates7
In the case Of . pair Of cstriches
Of which I have heard. the female
was accidentally killed. when the
male mourned her loss for over two
years, and would not look at another
female. He wandered up and down,
the lengths OF his camp. utterly dis
consulate. AZ last he mated again
with most magnificent hen. who
ruled him tyrannically; he became
the most hen-pecked, or rather hem
kicked. OF husbands.
3.-why u q forest OF pine usually
succeeded by aforest Of oakf
The acorns are doubtless planted
by the Jays. Their instinct for hiding
things prompts them to \seek the
more dark and secluded pine woods
with their booty, and the thick layer
OF needles furnishes an admirable
material with which to cover the
nut. The germ sprouts and remains
a low slender shoot for years, or un-
til the pine woods are cut away,
when It rapidly becomes a tree.
s.-Will Ash ever eat FISH larger
than themseivesf
II is said that in the deep sea
there Is a Ash that will swallow
another Ash eight or ten times its
own size. 1t siezes its victim by the
tail and slowly sucks 1t in. stretch
Ing and expanding itself at the same
time and probably digesting the big
Ash by inches. till. after many
days 1t Is completely engulfed. Would
II be hard to find something analo-
gous to this in life. especially in Am
erican politics?
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-03-09

that is all right so far as he Is con-
cerned, and the barleycorn element
Of the party is perfectly willing the
Nebraskan should indulge his pas
sion for grape juice to his hearts
content. even to the extent of bath
ing in it II he feels like II, but the
harleyeoFnites vociferously demand
that Bryan keep his mouth in state
of repose and not gum up the pro-
gram with loose talk. However, Mr.
Bryan. having elected to follow
another course. which in this par
ticular instance involved the bawlins
out of Gov. Edwards as well as Dem
ocratic National Chairman Cum
mings, because of their ayowed wet
ness. the resurrection.ets now prot
pose to make an example OF the
champion Of SIXTEEN to one. They say
to him: Undertake to mix in this
Illinois affair. II you 5are." There
upon the drys among the unterrified
in Illinois-and there are quite a
bunch of them outside Cook county
proceed to get Mr. Bryan's name on
the list
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-03-09
GRAND JURY AS A MISSIONARY.
IDes Moines Capitall

GRAND JURY AS A MISSIONARY.
[Des Moines Capital.I
The industry OF stock selling In
Iowa has been almost without limit.
Men with gifts for craftsmanship left
other occupations TO become stock
sellers. Their number has been so
large that they have held meetings
for discussion of ways and means OF
stock selling. The people were found
to be easy marks. They yielded up
their cash readily, II they could not
pay cash they gave their notes and
the notes were discounted at the
hanks. The commissions paid to stock
statesmen have been stupenduous.
The business developed many yarie-
ties of ingenuity. Stocks were sold
a. par. II the sales were easy
stocks were advanced to large pre-
MUM above par. In some cases the
salesmen contracted for the stock at
a certain price with an agreement
that all above that amount was to be
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-03-09
HANDY DIRECTORY
-or rHG-
MASONIC TEMPLE
A. Masonic Meetings
. vIsIters Always Welcome.


MARSHALL LODGE NO. los 4.
r. A. NJ, Friday, March -, at =
o'clock sharp. Second degree. c. C.
Jenninxs, w. M; John ". Wells, Sec
Rotary.
srCNEr CHAPTER, No. 80, Y. A.
A., Monday, Feb. 10. 1880, Business
eonvocation. Frank T. Nokes, H. ~
John w. Wells. secretary.
0No SOLOMON COUNCIL No
-, etated assembly Monday. Feb. 10
Angeness session. o. G. Fox. master;
.SeAa w. Wells. recorder.
coNcIAvE ST. ALDEMAR COM
MANDFRy No. 30 x. IT. Tnesdnv
March Q. 1880 o'clock. The Temple
C1yAe N. stewart, commander; John
W. Wells. recorder.
CENTRAL CHAPTER No. 81 q, v,
n Special meeting Monday, March
~. School or Instruction al -.So'
initiation. a. T:so. dinner NJ $50. Mrs.
" r Richards. W. NJ: Mrs. Archer
walton, secretary.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-03-09

It's crime to hit a man with
glasses on But tortoise shell rims
and a soft bow tie are mitigating
circumstances.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-03-09

Nero's wife invented the mask to
guard her complexion against the
sun. l6 ~
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-03-09

tubs aaA electric nshtk II rssas1s
fresh air and sunlight ~ W. natural
right of every child In every home
II calls for sanitary plumbing and
other conditions that mako for GOOD
health. II demands a strip OF back
yard with every homo and . bit OF
lawn II front. Always honortng IL
women. IL asks for homes 90 arrang-
ed as to free the housewife from the
old drudsery,
That Is what the great hunt for
homes means in part. II is n cruz
SADIE for health, for decent living. for
wholesale comfort for cleanliness
for better family life.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-03-09
The WI ndmill
BAILADH OF sPRINO.

BALI4ADH OF SPRING.
The smile OF spring soon fills TIE
air, ~
We s,eet II with q Joyous lay.
1t paints the trees with tints % rarc
And touches frost-bound earth
with May.
Our pulse IL free. our heart 10 gay,
In natures hidden paths we roam.
We yearn for spring--yet We must
say.
Alas! It brings the spring time
pome.
In spring the strong win court the
fair.
The love OF youth will hold its
sway,
And none there is to cry: "BewareI
The weather forecasts snow to-
day!"
No more the wintry skies of gray
Send lovers post-haste to thei
home.
We cherish spnns--and yet "
pray.
Alas! It brings the spring. tam
pome.
In spring we rout bleak. diana
care,
No moro will we be led astray
Our soul is full of songfui prayer,
We drive the last black gloon
away.
We rush. -bloodcd. to th{
fray.
We draw new strength from azur(
dome,
We welcome spring-with som4
dismay,
Alas! II brings the spring tim{
Envoy.
Wen hail the spring, ever and aye
Yet. from New Orleans to Nome,
In spring the lyric donkeys bray
Alas! 1t brings the spring timd
pome. L. E. S.
Most liberals conffne their liberal ,
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-03-09
THE FUTURE OF THE RIVER.
Davenport Tiines.l

Those who remember when the
Mississippi was the great highway
OF travel and commerce may not live
TO see the old days back again. out
their faith is strong that the younger
generations, thru the force OF or
ganised. persistat efforts, will wit
ness the renaissance OF the Missis-
sIppi river as powerful factor in
solving transportation problems. For
this reason II is pleasing to note
that friends OF the waterways yes
terday marshalled senators and con-
greSsmen from the valley districts
for q mass movement in aid OF in
land narieation They see in the
return of the railroads to private
management a menace to what little
advantage the river gained under
government control. This Is no inn
aginary danger, 1t is well to remem-
Der, for the iron horse and the steam
boat are still symbols of two great
competing systems, and to be
booster for the Mississippi river one
must keep this fact well in mind.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-03-09
THE BUSINESS DOCTOR

prssssss u ossss Rss<ssNs In hs College 81 ousInsss
Administratlsn 81 nesssW Univsrsity, Boston, Mass
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-03-09
STOP. SAFETY FIRST.

STOP. SAFETY FIRST.
Don't try to open a car windowi
when It's stuck. Call the wreckins
crew.
Don't attempt to describe the|
shape of a woman's hat. 1t can't be)
done.
Don't go to a peace conference.
Don't argue with a cop. You lose
even If you get the decision.
Don't take any Russian rubles.
Just now they're bringing about as
much in the market as Russian
mobiles.
Don't page the cabinet when the
presidents ill.
Don't tell your wife she shores.
It's-we.l, don't do it!
In 1914 Lloyd-G George described the
Turk as a human cancer" And now
he's afraid to cut him out.
We should worry. We get all our
Turkish tobacco from Virginia any
way. And harem skirts died before
the war.
Once We ate caviar and still shud-
der at the memory. Today we smok-'
ed a cfgaret made for and by real
Russians and We can't find 1t in our
heart to blame the poor things for
going bolshevik.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-03-09

decides that Philandsr u deceivinK
HIM. He thereupon hunts for work
elsewhere and uses his spare time in
telling others to keep away from
Philander Puffed-Up's firm for 1t IL
crooked"
But Philander just can't stop maxi
Ing a parade OF his authority In this
and similar ways. and he soon has q
large and growing number Of people
who would rejoice exceedingly to see
Phiiander In disgrace. The outcome
is that help becomes more and moro
difficult to get for the number Of
people tricked by Philanders vain
glorious boastful show OF authority
Is growing--end In consequence the
number who believe the firm Is mo
good" increases even more rapidly.
PhilaIxer let's his Imagination run
away with his Judgment. But when
he 10 up against facts he lacks the
moral courage to tell a man he can't
use him or can't promote him, so he
keeps him living in q fools paradise
until tho blum can be carried no long
er.
Our hero would be surprised II
called a liar. braggart, buffer. and a
conceited coward. But these are
what ne Is.
Send this character sketch to any
one whom It fits. II might cure him
but it's doubtful.
Have you a type Of person you es-
pecially dislike-or like? Tell me
about him and I'll write him or her
up for the benefit of all my readers.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-03-09
Stolen Fruit.

(From National Real Estate Jour
nal" Chicago, 1ll.)
THE real estate market has con-
stantiy shown an upward tendency
ever since the signing of the armis-
tice, and what seemed to be ridicu-
Ious prices one year ago are now con-
sidered reasonable. and II reasonable
Judgment is used in buying today
there is little doubt that one will
be able to sell in one or two years at
par value OF course II one buys
I'm declining neighborhood ana
pays more than a fair market value
today a future sale would almos.
certainly mean some loss. Just how
much. would depend upon the neigh
borhood depreciation and the amount
paid above the present fair value"
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-03-09

Early to bed and early to rise
Makes q man ~ healthy and ca
wealthy and (8) wise
Provided, OF course
~ That he escapes the flu.
(2) That he lodges the profiteers.
80 And that he lives long enough
II Mr.. Wilson's lucky number Il
thirteen, why, oh why, did he tao
on that extra point?
Even q bolshevik likes to be interi
viewed and dotes on having his picI
lures taken.
Obviously what Russia needs is al
Dictator, but not red.
An efficiency expert 10 q gink Wild
knows just how he'd get the angels
TO do 1t but doesn't know how the
devil to do 1t himself.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-03-09

or who knows as mucn ABOUT the,
Lodge reservations as he does about
the changes In baseball rules for
1920. Y.