The Coconino sun., 1920-11-26

Si Lawhead says the most philo- sophical fellow he ever saw was boy who had lost both of his legs in the dier few days before Thanksgiving time. There were lot of fellows present and they were talking about Thanksgiving, which was then only a few days off.
 "What have you got to be thankful for?" asked one of the soldiers of the one who had lost his legs.
 Lots" was the reply. "I have no more garter trouble. I've got cork legs and can hold my socks up with tacks."
 Dr. A. H. Schermann says that one time several years ago he was visited by a colored woman with broken jaw. In order to be more sure of the exact nature and extent of the injury, the doctor asked numerous questions, to all of which the woman returned evasive answers. Finally she admit ted that she had been "hit with a ob- ject."
 "Was it hard object or soft ob- ject ?" asked the doctor.
 "Tol-able hard"
 "Was it a large object?"
 "Tol-able large"
 "Was it coming rapidly or slowly?" "Tol-able fast"
 Then, her patience exhausted, she exclaimed:
 "To tell de truf, doctor, I was jes' nach-ly kick in de face by gemman fren."
 You may rave about the sports that
 are known both far and near, Such as football, rowing, tennis, or even hunting deer.
 But to my way of thinking, there is one that beats the rest,
 Of all the sports beneath the skies it
 is the very best.
 You play it in the evening when your
 work has all been done, When you and all your friends are
 searching for little fun. You gather round the table, and they
 shake you out pill
 Jim wins the break, and then comes
 you, and then old Hicklin Bill. You shoot 'em hard, you watch 'em
 roll--you squint once more your
 pea,
 You see one hope-you hear it drop and holler, "Boys, that's mel"
 A. Belmont tells a story of Ger man tradesman who made good liv- ing on what he called "2 per cent" Belmont couldn't see how he did it., and asked him to explain.
 "Vell," the merchant said, "I puy for a tollar, und I sell for two dollars; that's ? per cent, don't id?'
 Speaking about percentages and discounts, how many of you school ma'ams and high and Normal school students can tell correctly, without stopping to figure it out either men, tally or with pencil and paper, which discount, if you were buying, would save you the most money--ten and five per cent. or five and ten per cent. We'll bet free copy of The Sun that your first guess will be wrong.
 Pete Bender says that when he was a little shaver he thought that thund- CT was the noise made up wonder by the Almighty arranging the chairs for the few or many who would be de- stroyed during the storm.
 Joe Wilson says that when he was a kid he thought if he spit on his bait he surely would catch fish.
 Billy Friedlein says when he was kid he thought that he had to watch his step when crossing a railroad track; always was in fear and trem- bling lest big frog would catch his feet, and pictured a large, fat green one chuckling to himself as he saw his victims being killed.
 When I was kid, I thought Bill Moses, one of my schoolmates, would sure be president of these United States some day. Bill was the most studious boy in school. Dad was very fond of holding Bill up to me as a glowing example of what I was not. Bill was medal man when he got to Lawrence University. He was pitch- CT on the university team and their star performer on the cinder track.
 I almost hated Bill.
 Now Bill for the last twenty years has been farming forty acres of stony land, himself and his large family liv- ing mostly on what Bills sister, who is
 
 It's hard to figure out what stop ped Bill.
 No, we are not trying to emulate Robert Quillen, the fellow who writes small town anthology for the Satur- day Evening Post. We merely got to thinking about Bill.
 How many of you can recall Bill in your town?
 Wonder who this fellow Quillen is, anyhow? Frank Harrison says he thinks Quillen is the fellow, back in a small town down south-one of those crossroads towns, you know, where all the narrow minded people were re- gently accused of coming from-who used to run country newspaper fill ed with mighty sensible and readable editorials. Frank used to enjoy read ing his editorials.