The Washington herald., 1920-10-22
Dorothy Dix's Excellent Aduice
Copyright, 1890, Wheeler syndicate. In


sist, and they write and tell you
so, and that they are coming on the
s:t5 a. m. train on Wednesday. and
won't you please meet them at tho
station because a city is so con-
fusing TO one who is not used 70 IL.
Why, II / were TO recite what
have suffered at the hands OF these
bandits. il would sound like a chan.
ter out Of Fox's Book OF Martyrs-S
when Jim and / were married ana
ne brought me to the city to live.
we went TO housekeeping in a Iittl.
iour-room apartment Before we
got settled and our bridal presentsl
unpacked, a distant relative. whopJ
haoht seen since ! was a little
slrl IN plgtails. descended upon u.s.
bag and baggage.
She said Ehe was passing through
the city and she felt she just
couldn't 90 by without taking a
peek at dear little Elsie in her
new home. II took her two weeks
TO peek, and she hadn't been rone
A day when another hock OF these
blros OF prey, this time Jim'F bunch
OF Yultures, came to roost on our
sofa bed, and from then on we have
hardly had a day that we have been
Tree from some self-invited guest.
Boys hunting for a Job arrive
with letters from their parents.
whom we had the aCCursed luck 10
know at some previous state OF our
lives, saying that they know we will
be so glad to take darling linn in
until he finds something TO do. or
the mother Of some girls to whom
we have the misfortune to be akin
lH some faint degree, drops US 4
mtssiye informing US that she is
sending Mamie and Sadie BY the
next train for a little visit to tho
city as she has been promising thS
dear children a treat for lo6
time, and would We mind IettA
them stay with US for a month H..
are such lambs. and it's so nBst
hhve young people about the -.
or we get a sCreed from. Sou1e
poor old soul who has been ad-
Vised TO consult a city specialist
about her cancer. and she wants 10
come and stay with US and have US
trOt around to the hospitals with
her. Or somebody from SQucedunk.
or Rabbits Track. has been told by
her doctor that she needs a change.
and she thinks that nothing would
be so delightful as 70 come to the
city, only she hasn't tho money to
stay at a hotel, but il Il would h,
convenient for Us TO have her. she
could come easily on Mon6sy week
OF course, anyone who has II.
nerve to hold you up for her board
bill isn't going To stop with petty
larceny like that She goes the
whole hog, and you not only have IN
feed and lodge her. but you ha,.
to pay for her thester and opera
tickets. and her street car rsrs-
So far as my observation goes. A
self-invited guest has a Yale lock On
her pocket book and You would
have TO chlorOform her before you
could get a nickel out OF her.
1t l. no secret TO the people
who come and camp on US that Jim
and are poor young couple
struggling to get a start IN thu
world, and that every dollar counts
with Us Also Jhev perceive that
do my housework. and that by
horning in on Us they add immCs>-
Urably to my labor and the *
penSe OF our living
"Rut docs that keep them aVsyr
1t does not. They not only crowd
in and put me 10 the trouble 81
getting up company meals for
them. bat they expect me TO run
around with them. taking them to
all sorts OF places OF amusement
and to spend days in the shops.
where they look over everything
and price everything from import
ed automobiles to safety pins. and
buy nothing And never by any
II = Ia
at a restaurant or for thoator
ticket or even pay their car far.
And the expense Of entertaining
these people you hate because thrv
are such poor. mean little Erafts-T
counts up enormously. and g.; keeps
me mad thinking OF all the things
want that ! do without heCsUE-
II have spent the money on Jhes-
pikers Why We stand for &,
don't know. Lack OF back bono. ]
guess. and because we have he"r
taught that hospitality is one 90.
the seven shining virtues.
so il is Nobody sdmires % or
loves to practice 10 better than ..
hut l want to pick out my rerlr.
ieuts and select the time. the place
the woman. so to speak. ] uhirr-
to being held up and forced 10 O.,
liver Invitations whether its con
v,rient or not
But ] know Id never have 60
up the spUnk TO slam tho door O.
the face OF Uncle JSZebiah. who
got a couple OF hundred thousand
dollars tucked away in first mor1
cages. hut who would rather die
than spend q penny of it on 4 hoJo'
Nor would my craven spirit ever
~
write to a seIf-inNited guest Tho
! didn't want her, and woUldn
have her. and so the housing short
age has provided me with 4 ready
made excuse for not entertaining
all and sundry.
I'm going to live in ono room
and a bath and a kitChencttr whCr-
nobody can visit me. Thank God
for all His merCies"