davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1920-06-20

majesty" was Edwards response.
Among the neatest of retorts to
royalty whereof we have record was
that alleged to have been made to
the Prince Of Wales, afterward
King William ", by the Secretary
of the Admiralty.
Now, William had been bantering
the Secretary for some time at table.
"When l am King" said he, you
shall not be Secretary of the Ad-
miralty. What do you say to that?'
"God save the King!!' rejoined the
witty Secretary.
Charles II once asked his chap
lain, DR.. Stillingf1eet: "How is it that
you always read your sermons be-
fore me, when, as I understand, you
can preach eloquently elsewhere
without book or notes."
The good doctor answered that he
was SO overwhelmed by his majesty's
presence that he could not trust him
self otherwise, continuing: And
now, sire, may it please you to tell
me why you read your speeches when
you have no such excuse?"
When Charles, meeting Rochester
one day, accosted him thus, II be.
lieve thou art the wickedest fellow
in my dominions," the witty noble,
man Immediately made answer:
For a subject, sir, I really think
I am"
Almost as disconcerting an answer
vas once given Frederick the Great,
who, wishing to humiliate his physl-
clan, asked: "How many men, my
doctor. have you sent into the other
world?"
"Not nearly so many as your maj
esty," was the r%etort, "bus with in
finite!y less glory"
When George III first met Sir
john Irwin, a thirsty soul, he re-
marked facetiously:
"They tell me, Sir John, you're
fond of a glass of wine"
"Your majesty" gravely re-
sponded the courtier, your inform
ants do me a great injustice. They
should have said n bottle"
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1920-06-20
Liked Castor Oil

occasionally I was given Black
stones Commentaries or Green
leaf on Evidence to muse over,
on the theory that I was there to
learn, but it was just like giving
me medicine. That reminds me,
it was down there I acquired a lik-
ing for castor oil. / can take it like
so much water. Schiefelin's kept
a wholesale drugstore next to jays
office about 1914, and castor oil was
delivered to them in casks. Ere
qucntly a cask stood on the side
walk with a syphon pump in the top,
and l used to put my finger under
the spout and then lick it. Fresh
castor oil is absolutely tasteless.
l believe it's just imagination that
makes most people gag over it, un-
less it's rancid.
"The coal vault would sometimes
fill with water when the harbor
tide was high, and one of my jobs
was to pump this water out. There
was a cast iron pump for this pur-
pose, and one day / manipulated it
so violently l broke it.
81 wasn't frank enough to con-
fess, so | stuck the instrument to-
gether in the hope that the next
person to pick it up would think he
had broken it. That was the most
serious point in my early career
l was just about cured of deception
before l got through. But l got
out of the scrape without losing my
job and so escaped the fearful con-
sequences of a %walloping at home.
A Change in Work
"My folks decided when l was
about sixteen years old | was in a
blind alley. I was getting $1.75 a
week and couldn't expect much more
for a long time to come. The idea
prevailed then that if a boy had a
trade he was independent. The folks
knew they couldn't give me a col
lege education, so they apprenticed
me to my uncle, who was a stair
builder. 1t was agreed that I should
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1920-06-20
Opposed to Tweed

Mr.. Voorhis also built stairs in
the palatial homes of tlie Wander
bits of the generation after the Civil
War and in the homes of other New
Workers of almost equal fame. Then
in the '70s he became active in poll
tics. In telling about that develop
ment in his life Mr.. Voorhis said:
81 denounced Boss Tweed and
those associated with him. When
Tweed a gone l prepared to for
get all about politics, but one night
in 1873 a committee of Aldermen
came to my shop to tell me that
Mayor Havemeyer had appointed me
Excise Commissioner.
81 had no desire to take the place,
but in attacking Tweed | had fire.
quently argued against people who
said that one set of politicians would
be as bad as any other. ! contended
then, as / do now, that a mar could
be just as honest in a political Office
as in business. SO TO induce me to
take the post they reminded me Of
those arguments ard, in effect, dared
me to make good.
"One Of the very Aldermen who
notified NE of the appointment, when
I said l knew nothing of an excise
commissioners office, told me they
all get rich in a year Well, / didn't.
IF a man would stay honest IN
political Office he must have the reso'
luton to keep from yielding to IN
portunities of people who call them
selves friends. 1t isn't always money
that is offered. Sometimes 1t Is
advancement. Personally, | never
have been asked by my leaders 70
do anything that would injure my
self-respect, but l have had money
offered me by men you wouldn't DE-
lieve would do it.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1920-06-20

the Medical Corps of the
United States Navy, in an article en-
titled "The Custom of Smoking"
published in "The Medical Record"
DR.. Bloedorn analyses the craving
for smoke that was universal among
soldiers and sailors during the war,
and then answers the question. From
his answer the following paragraphs
are taken:
Tobacco is a means of diversion
which, far from interfering with a
mans performance of duty, attaches
him to it and renders it less burden
some.
If we smoke entirely for the phys
Illogical effects of the active prin-
ciples Of tobacco, which are absorbed
during the act of smoking, we could
obtain these active principles in pill
Or tablet form and administer them
much more cheaply, accurately and
efficiently than by the act Of
smoking.
Yet who would be satisfied with a
tablet containing his usual dose of
nicotine instead Of his satisfying af-
t%er-dinner cigar? What soldier
awaiting the order to advance would
be soothed and Gained by a nicotine
pill instead Of his friendly cigarette?
The pleasure effect begins even be-
fore the cigar or cigarette is lighted.
The smoker carefully selects and
inspects his cigar, and the prepare
ton Of the tobacco for smoking re-
cejvcs much attention. All these
things reflect the state OF mind Of
the individual. Then the sound of
the lighting match, the sight of the
curling smoke and the glowing tip,
the ron Of the burning leaf, the
familiar taste, the touch and feel of
the cigar 0 r cigarette; all Of these
factore combine to produce the pleas
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1920-06-20
7 URNBULL'S HOUSE IN Greenwich VILLAGE. one of the
landmarks OF Mr.. Voorhis's boyhood

tween Jay and Lawyer Constable.
Then they moved to the northeast
corner of Wall and Water streets,
opposite Tontine's coffee house.
That was the rallying place of the
merchants of the neighborhood, and
it was always crowded to the doors
at luncheon and dinner time with
men whose names spelled power in
those days.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1920-06-20

that "Kings are i'll to joke
wiz" but there have never
theless been plenty of jokers
so audacious as to Josh" kings with
a we'll developed sense of humor,
such as Charles II, capable of enjoy
ing a sally at their w expense, de-
clares a writer in "The Philadelphia
Public Ledger"
1t is related that n day when
Charles was inspecting a warship at
Chatham he asked Killigrew, Don't
you think that I should have made a
good shipwright?" Charles was
proud of his reputed skill in naval
architecture, and, no doubt, by this
query sought a compliment. But
Killegrew, who was nothing of a
courtier, replied instead:
II have always thought that your
majesty would do better at any trade
than your own"
A lively example of French retqrt
to royalty is afforded by the story of
Marshal Bassompierre and Louis
NH. The marshal had given his
majesty an account Of his embassy to
Spain, setting forth the n in
which he had entered the Spanish
capital mounted on a mule. can ass
seated on a muleN' exclaimed Louis,
with a laugh. Eyes, sire" replied
the marshal, land the joke of it was
I represented you"
Good old Queen Bcss, it appears,
had a pretty wit, which she was by
no "a 10th to exercise upon her
subjects. In one verbal duel, at
least, Elizabeth got the worst Of it.
Observing in the garden a courtier
to whom she had promised promo
ton that had not materialized, her
majesty thrust her head out of the
window and called to him:
what does a man think of, Sir
Edward, when he thinks Of moth
ing"
"Of woman's promise, your
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1920-06-20
An Drill

"From twenty-five to thirty men
in working clothes would gather at
these different training centers.
Some wore caps, some hats and
few went bareheaded. Some
would bring broomsticks, and occa-
sionally one would appear with an
old fowling piece. A sergeant or
corporal of the regular militia, the
only man in uniform, would drill
them in marching all that afternoon.
another day, not necessarily the
succeeding one, the men would be
drilled in the manual of arms by a
lieutenant. Then would come pa
rade day, when the men from all
over the city gathered at the Parade
Ground, were formed into companies
and then were pronounced soldiers.
That was a day of hilarity. I hate
to say it, but it was an occasion
when almost every man got drunk.
"Only the officers wore uniforms,
and their pride was as much an in
toxicant as the porter the men drank.
That days parade ended the military
training for the year. 1t was so
grotesque that none except the chill
dren paid serious attention to the
event. Not many women watched
the maneuvers, and the men were
not paid for their efforts, but they
were excused from duty as jurors.
During this intensive training in
drinking there would be much talk
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1920-06-20
EIASEaaaEz7TE
MINETTA LANE, a
A'A GreenaOic h VitMge
street that is to be restored
to its early standing

original purpose, and now, I'm told,
the brewery that stands on the site
rests on the stone foundations that
once inclosed whipping posts and
treadmills and other instruments
for increasing the misery inside the
walls"
Mr.. Voorhis stopped to relight his
stogie, and his blue eyes twinkled.
He continued.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1920-06-20
VILLAGE and
Richmond Hill are suffer
ing from growing pains,

and the real oldtime resi-
dents Of these once suburban places
are delighted at the prospect of bid
ding farewell to the equally unwel-
come occupants of tenement squalor
and freak tearooms.
Like a fine old painting whose for
mer glory is concealed beneath the
CRIME and neglect Of generations,
this section is to be restored. The
hideous, dull paint that conceals the
mellow tints Of the Colonial brick
in the houses is to be sandblasted
out of existence. Thick coats of sue
cessive nightmares in wall paper are
to be ripped from the interiors, ex-
posed lathing is to be covered with
new plaster, modern plumbing and
electrical wiring are to be wrestled
through the thick walls. When it is
all done there will not be a more de-
sirable spot to live between the Bat
terry and the Bronx.
Ionic columns in the doorways and
the eight-paneled doors themselves
are to be preserved. Generous open
fireplaces are to be built into the
chimneys that for years and years
have served to convey to the open
air the smoke of countless dinky
heating stoves or small CRATES. Mod
ern heating plants will do the actual
heating, however.
All Of this is made possible by
the housing shortage, plus the Sew
anth Avenue subway.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1920-06-20
Too Much Church

II have had to tell more than one
minister that the reason l didn't at
tend church was because | was sur
feited with church in my youth.
Morality is based more on what
people do than what they profess.
but I don't expect many preachers
to agree with that.
"My mother used to send me to
Sunday school in the morning, then
| sat beside her at the regular serv-
ices, then after dinner l had to hurry
back to afternoon Sunday school and
then services again in the evening.
1t was the Dutch Reformed Church
that then stood at the corner of
Broome and Greene street. Wednes-
day night I had to go to prayer
meeting. | had too much church. |
was cured.
"My folks were SO religious I had
to walk on the other side Ct the
street when | passed the old theater,
the Richmond Hill Theater, at Charl-
ton and Varick streets. Pm told
that old building, gone long since,
was once the home of John Adams
and after that Of Aaron Burr.
81 didn't have very much fun,
either, with the boys who whooped
it up in u neighborhood. My
mother thought they'd be a bad in
fuence in my life, and she never
sent me to any but private schools.
From the time | was six until | was
ten years old I was sent to Nine.
Hewlett. I recall her as a m
about tirty Years old. There were
v more than twenty scholars.
Tuition cost about 20 shillings a
quarter. She taught US in a base
ment in a dwelling in Spring Street.
| think the number was 1876. NV
mother used to hear my lessons at
night, and when | had absorbed some
spelling, reading and writing | was
graduated from her class of girls
and boys into a school upstairs in the
same building in which boys alone
were taught. The master was David
Stevens. He was strict, but he made
us learn history, geography and
arithmetic. He had a hickory ruler,
and | recall the size and shape of
it very clearly indeed"
Commissioner Voorhis contemplat-
ed the palm Of his left hand for sew
eral moments, as if he searched for
welts that raised a decade be-
fore the California gold rush.
Planned Vengeance
II used to vow vengeance when |
got licked, and lots of times when |
should have been thinking of my les
son | was living ten years in the
future, when I thought I'd be big
enough to wallop the schoolmaster.
| think if | had an ambition then
it was to get square with David
Stevens | remember the punish
ment he gave me, but I have as little
g,trrn4a IL, t-nt,,an,hari,,l thn ,.,,.,,,
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1920-06-20
Welcomed by OIdtiners

81 tell you, these changes are well
come to the real people of Green
wich," said John R. Voorhis in
speaking of these changes which are
beginning to show themselves on
the face of the Village like the
early blossoms on a gnarled old
apple tree. Mr.. Voorhis is the nine
ty-one-year-old president of the
Board of Elections. Day in and day
out, except Sundays, he goes from
his home in 1856 Greenwich Street
to his Office high up in the Munich
pal Building, from the windows of
which in his are idle moments he
can look out upon the domes and
towers Of Park Row and lower
Broadway.
"All these Purple Dog tearooms
and Pirate ginger ale parlors have
given the Village a false and unen-
viable reputation, and one that is
overstated," complained Mr.. Voorhis
as he sat in his Office recently. "The
great mass Of Greenwich Villagers
are like myself-quiet, normal peo-
pie who have lived in the same house
for years and years, seeing that the
brass door plate was kept polished
and the stoop steps unspotted. !
have lived in the house at 1856 Green
wich Street for sixty years, and !
haven't any intention Of moving.
"Ninety-nine out of a hundred of
these freakish people who stare at
the world through waterbug spec
tacles and tell everybody that they
are Greenwich Villagers don't know
where the Village is"
The president of the election
commissioners stopped to reach an
arm back into the furthest recess
Of the right-hand bottom drawer OF
his rolltop desk. He hauled out a
package Of stogies that are made
for him by q Harlem t%obacconist TO,
Two cents apiece. The smoke is as
deleterious for the average cigarette
smoker as the fumes of a charcoal
prazler, and the consumption of two
would give an ordinary man some
thing akin to tobacco heart.
boundaries of the Village
Have one" invited Mr.. Voorhis
and then continued: "I1l tell JUS
the precise boundaries Of Greenwich
Village, and let me tell you Wash
ington Square is no part of the Vii
lage, which does not extend east 0
Sixth Avenue. It's other boundarie
are the Hudson River on the west
Fourteenth Street on the north am
Clarkson and Carmine streets on tn,
south. That's Greenwich Village.
"The other day ! was passing
Sheridan Square, and / couldn't hely
thinking that ten years ago the PEG.
pie in the 9th Ward didn't know
there was n Sheridan Square. In the
first place, it's q triangle, not n
square. New York seems to have
got into the habit If calling all sorts
OF bits IF unimproved, misshapcn
property %'squarea.' Look ut Abing-
don Square. That's q triangle. So
~ Eec~e sts N1st.a.o - -.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1920-06-20
No Eight-Hour Day

"The people Of my time were of
the same class and considered them
selves very we'll off indeed with for
tunes of from $4,000 to $4,000. They
worked hard and would have consid-
cred an eight-hour day just plain
loaing. That is the reason, l be-
lieve, that mine is a long-lived fam
lily. We were poor. and there
fore we lived plainly and worked
hard. My father was eighty-three
years Of age when he died. My
mother was eighty; her mother lived
to be ninety-one and her father to
be ninety-three years old. SO you
see it's no surprise to me to find
myself living in good health and
strength long after the great major
ity of my generation has vanished.
In about two months III be ninety
one, and l haven't missed coming to
the Office for a single day, except
Sundays, in two and a half years.
You see, Pm pretty careful about
what | put in my mouth. I know
what food agrees with me, and I
won't eat anything that doesn't. If
q man couldn't learn what food
agrees with him in ninety-one years
of experimenting he wouldn't be
worth much.
"There is another thing I have
learned, and that is that if you do
pretty nearly right you're more
likely to live long. don't agree
with that old adage that the good
die young. l can name crooks by
the score who passed away early. |
believe those who do right are far
more likely to be blessed with long
life. Now, / don't want to be un-
derstood to be claiming that my
years + to be attributed to this.
but have noticed it in others.
Speaking Of crooks reminds me
that the old state prison was in the
Village, and just across from it was
the Liberty Tavern. That was an
appropriate name, because when the
prisoners were released they went
there for their first toddy. BY the
Tine ! bad enc into THO world tho
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1920-06-20
M CUNT WASHINGTON
1HA INSTI-
TUTE IN the early days of
WASHINGTON SQudre
boy we called Washington Square
the Parade Ground"

boy we called Washington Square
the Parade Ground"
Commissioner Voorhis leaned back
in his chair and watched the end of
his stogie as though through some
magic in the ribbon of pale blue
smoke that mounted from it he could
transport himself back through the
years to his boyhood.
81 wish you could have seen them.
There we're three days, usually in
October, devoted to universal mill
tary training for the males of this
state. Every man was expected to
take three days training. The Pa
rade Ground, what we now call
Washington Square, was the drilling
field for the city. The recruits were
directed to assemble at designated
corners, usually just outside the door
of a porter house, a saloon.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1920-06-20
Three Minettas

"There used to be a fine trout
stream, according to Village leg
ends, where Washington Square now
is. 1t was called Minetta Brook,
Some of its curves and bends are
nodded permanently in the brick
and granite of Minetta Street, an
almost forgotten passage in the Vii
lagse. There are three Minettas, a
lane, a street and an alley. Some of
the old buildings are being remod-
eled now, so that their best features
will be preserved.
"The Villagers of those days were
neither rich nor poor. They earned
their living and a bit besides. Be.
low Greenwich Village was Rich
mond Hill; above was Chelsea. Rich
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1920-06-20

mond Hill was the 9th Ward, where
I lived. Its boundaries were Clark
son and Carmine streets, Sullivan,
Canal and the Hudson River. I
lived in Sullivan Street, in No. 81,
near the corner of Broome, in a
house that is still standing. The
residents there nov are nearly all
Italians. When I was a youngster
most of the neighbors were Holland
ers.
"Chelsea extended from Four
teenth to Twenty-sixth Street and
from Sixth Avenue to the river.
"These three villages were known
as cartmen's wards, because of the
number of persons living there who
made their living as cartmen-ex-
pressmen or f%orwarders they'd prob
ably be called to-day-and most Of
them owned their own houses. There
was a narrow alley three or four
feet wide between the houses through
which the horses were led to the
stables in the rear. The trucks we're
left in the street.
II hope that when all these freaks
who give an excuse for the bus
summers to prowl through the Vii
lage have departed Greenwich
will again become a place where
almost everybody owns the home he
lives in. Middle-class people, l
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1920-06-20
II r. VOORHIS, 81
gears old, Who has spent
all his life IN or near Green
Wlch Village

of what ought to be done to Eng
land or of giving the Canadians a
wallop, and then everybody would
go back to work until the next years
training period"
Mr.. Voorhis paused to chuckle.
Then he went on:
"Of course l remember the Wash
ington Parade Ground later, when
George M. Clark and James Tanning
conducted the Mount Washington
Collegiate Institute in the building
at the southwest corner Of the
Square. The Square has had two
iron fences built around it and
taken down in my time.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1920-06-20
Jokes at Royal Expense

THOMAS CARLYLE observed
that "Kings are i'll to joke
wiz" but there have never
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1920-06-20

x 7HY do people smoke?
./A asks DR.. w. A. Bloedorn,
Lieutenant Commander in
tLo Medical Co.- e IL
Every evening, Wilmington daily commercial., 1920-09-28

create by concurrent resolution joint
congressional committee on reconstruc-
ton, with ample powers Of inquiry and
report. EAcountering favorable reception
in Congress, from members of both par
ties, the proposal met prompt quietus in
the Presidents blunt disfavor of any form
Of congressional advice or suggestion as
to after-war policies.
"Thc result was that the signing OF
the armistice ushered in a vcritable con-
dition of save who can in our economic
life. Industry, commerce, labor, finance
all were left to struggle and drift while
the Administration was intent on an un-
availing pursuit of an international
srper-government and concerned as to
domestic affairs only in detached oppor-
tunism.
''It is entirely within bounds to insist
that had there been careful preparatory
survey of the problems certain to present
themselves as the nation demolilzed we
should have escaped many of the trials
to which we have been subjected in the
past two years and from the evil posi-
bilities of which we are even now far from
frpe -
Every evening, Wilmington daily commercial., 1920-09-28
DEPOSITORS MAKE RUN
ON. BANKS At BOSTON
Public Uneasiness Forces Three
to Invoke 90-Day
Notice Law.

Boston, Sept. 27.--Public uneasincss
over banking ambitions yesterday caused
runs on some institutions with the result
that the fremont Trust Company, the
Fidelity Trust Company and the Dor
chester Trust Company invoked the law
which makes it possible to require 90
days notice of Withdrawals from the
savings departments in order TO stop the
rush of frightened depositors.
In the run on the fremont Trust Com
pany the crowd became 80 great that the
police were called to maintain order. The
virtual suspension of payments for the
present by the savings departments of
these three banks, follows the closing of
five banking institutions IN this city with
in the last two months by bank Commis-
sioner Joseph G. Allen. =.
The several closings and suspensions of
payment have occurred since the collapse
of Charles Ponzi's get-rich-quiok scheme,
which involved the Hanover Trust Com