Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-03-30
THEM WAS THE DAYS.
(The First Dress Suit.)

GU dlTeauy udu OnS "a thoSo Sut-
away things. You remember~-kind
OF "a cock-roach effect in the back
with tails originating somewhere In
the region Of the spleen and folding
like a bug wings across the lower
pelvis. The lavender pants weren't
so bad - automatically - but you
couldn't be got into the rig except on
Sundays. You hated it as a badge
of servitude. The folks only wished
il on to you so you could be an usher
in church.
And then dad said you could use
it for your graduation. Mother could
let down the pants q little and with
some pressing and brushing 1t would
be plenty good enough. And you said
nothing doing-all the fellows were
going to wear dress suits and you
over 1t. Dad said there wasn't much
use of graduating at all II all 1t did
was to give you high toned notions.
And you said you didn't care q
darn about graduating, either. but
you weren't going to take any girl to
class dance looking like the first
mourner to corpse. And dad said IL
it was that white-faced Webster girl
you'd been running around with
you'd be dressed about right Just
because old Mr.. Webster got the best
of him on that ice cutting contractl
Shucks!
OF course 1t ended UP by mother
slipping you some Of her preserve
money to hire one down At Ike's
place. Only you were 50 late most
of the fellows had you beaten to it
About the best Ike could do for you
was a suit apparently built for per-
feet So just before he died of dropsy.
Ike assured you 1t was a great fit and
just comfortably loose around the
middle. Anyway, you took it.
But, at home, when you climbed
down into 1t and started exploring
well, the first thing you discovered
was you couldn't use your suspend
ers. The vest was SO open-faced
they showed on the sides and the
pants kept putting out in front like q
kansaToo's pouch. Lizzie helped fix
it up for you with belt hooked up
in the back with a big safety pin
thru . couple OF tucks. Even then
there seemed to bs moro suit than
dress to it
It worked all right at the sradua-
ton because you didn't have to get
UP any for honors. And 1t seemed
all right when the first dance started.
The music was playing There is
flower called the forget-me-not," and
Lucy Webster and you were floating
around the floor Hike couple Of
snowfakes in March when all Of q
sudden - "Popp" - something gave
way right UP against your fifth
vertebra- You pretend not to notice.
But four steps moro and the hand
you were leading with shot down to
your right hip just in time to save
you from disgrace. You managed to
mutter something about being dizzy,
left Lucy in the middle of the floor,
nd heat y for the .anntitv nf the !
dressing room.
No need to rehearse the agony that
followed. The safety pin (sardonic
nancy was gone. And there you
stood till midnight, slowering thru
the crack of the door with your hand
clutching your hip like a movie ban
dit about to draw q bead on the
sheriff. From that little rift in your
trousers developed q breach between
you and Lucy that was never healed
and never explained. Jake Powers
took her home that night. He's mar
ried to her now--poor guy!
Today you have dress suit of
your own But at that the one from
Ike's place must have had some sort
of prenatal influence on 1t. Anyway
you don't dare go out In 1t without a
couple Of loose safety pins in your
pocket.
We like to be In harmony with the
government, but when tho iIiuoIlle taA
collector in our district says that the
return was smaller than he ex-
pected--!
Gosh, with the terrible shortage OF.
newsprint paper and everything. we
don't see why they don't conserve
it by:
Making
the
columns
!, ~ "a 80 shorter.
u II X