The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1920-09-16

, high.
, The English are the greatest gam
blers on earth, as witnessed by the lif
insurance company which will bet o.
the prospects Of Ieaky ship reach
ing port. 1t is suspected that som
Englishmsn will even bet on Cox.
An Emmett farmer asked his pas
tor to strike his name of the churcl
roll until after fly time. He says NJ
man can milk six cows in fly time an,
conscientiously retain good standing
In his church.
When man stops to pick up q
| board with nails in it which has fall
len from load Of scrap lumber, the
chances are he is thinking about auto
tires; when woman performs the
same public service it is almost a
cinch she is thinking about little bare
feet.
A young ball player was crying lus-
tily. A sympathetic old gentleman
asked him why he was crying. "A
ball hit me-" he said between his sobs.
Where did it hit you, SOM" BE
tween the third base and home" re-
sponded the youngster.
= =
An eastern scientist claims that if
the earth was fiattened out the sea
would cover the surface of the earth
two miles deep. So II you see any
one around here trying to fiatten the
earth report him to Charlie McAuley
and have him run in.
Another girl passed with careless
look in their direction, but without
speaking. The town boy was silent,
but he from the neighboring village
appraised her charms, expressed his
opinion, and--the fight was or.
1t makes difference whose sister
you talk about.
. q
The story is told of an Emmett man
Who is Sc thin as to scarcely cast a
hadow that when soliciting subscrip-
ions for a worthy cause from bust
Tess men, was told by certain man,
no, won't subscribe to your fund,
ut here's six bits to buy something
o eat"
Bob Burlingame, while in Califor-
ia, was so bashful that he came home
arlier than expected rather than
,atch the girls in their one-piece
athing suits at Long Beach. At last
counts Ed Rundstrom and Frank
dwards were still occupying reserved
eats on the beach.
Returning home from the dentists,
here he had gone to have a loose
10th drawn, little Raymond reported
! follows: "The doctor told me fore
9 began that il | cried or screamed
would cost me dollar, but if
as good boy it would be only 80
'nts.' did you scream? ~ his moth
: asked. "How could II" answered
ay you only gave me 90 cents"
The mother was a bit puzzled by
II young hopefuPs insistence that
e cook be present when she said her
ayers. "Why, Violet, are you tired
mother?" was her reproachful que
. mo, mums,l answered her
Iughter Loyalty, "but | want Annie
be around while | am sayin' them,
luse last night / prayed for ice
cam for desert, and we had bread
Idding."
Old Bill Misgivens has invented
asshopper trap which he attaches
the front Of his Ford 1t is made
the plan Of vacuum cleaner. 1t
kes 30-foot swath and will func-
IN at any speed up to 40 miles an
ur. With this machine he is able
catch from 1900 to 1900 pounds Of
ppers every day. They are dried
d baled and shipped to a Portland
m which works them up into pea
t butter.
Q q Q
Leaning against the fence of the .
rden stood a diminutive lad, sob tt
x rs though his heart was danger is
sly near the breaking point A az
nevolent old man approached him. me-
That is the matter, my child?" he To-
Iuired, soothingly. The youth only up
Ired louder. "My father he howl
"has been beatin' mel' Come,
nep said the old man. "you mustn't NJ NJ
! like thatl All fathers have to pu
It their boys at times. You must ste
eNJ fo~~rok III ,,