South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1920-04-11
Isn't that FUNNY"

Isn't that funny.
The Widow tossed the morning
newspaper onto the window seat,
and made room for the Bachelor,
who propped himself comfortably
against the cushions opposite her.
a man is sueing for a divorce
from his wife, because she isn't
jealous Of him." she dubbed mirth-
fully.
And / always thought that jeal-
ousy was the Serpent in the Garden
of Eden" said the Bachelor. light
ing a cigaret. and gazing wistfully
out at the rain, which threatened TO
spoil the house party. ooh well!
Some people simply must have their
devils! he finished.
"Yes!" twinkled the Widow. $50
many people mistake the devil for
religion, and jealousy for lOve!'
And temperament for genius, and
bad temper for character and nag
ging for devotion, added the
Bachelor.
And a new interest in life-for
rival" concluded the Widow. That
is the pathetic thing about this hus-
band. He not only can't make his
wife Jealous, any more; but he can't
find anybody to be jealous of, him
self. Isn't that sad! He feels sure
that his wife doesn't love him, be-
cause she doesn't torment him or
pull his hair or go into Mysteries. or
run home-to-mother But he can't
discover who his rival sunless it's
her music teacherl Isn't that just
like a man-to assume that nothing
on earth could possibly distract a
woman's attention from himself, eS-
cept another mani No mans rival,
and no woman's either, ever was
human being!"
What" exclaimed the Bachelor
in bewilderment, don't you Gala
blonde manicurist. or Titan
chorus girl a human being
"Oh yes-in a way" answered the
Widow. But no man ever was
lured from his happy home, by his
love for a blonde manicurist or a
Titan chorus girl-Or any other
woman. What lures him il his love
Of adventure. of amusement Of nov
city. of excitement. of a change.
The other woman is not the cause
of his deflection-she's merely the
result. And no husbands Real rival
I'm his wife's heart is another man.
| It's something far more dangerous
! and formidable. It's another In
| terest! In this particular husbands
case, il was his wife's music her own
/ voice"
"Oh. I see!" The Bachelors tone
was hooking, woman. carried
away by her own voice! Well.
/ that's comprehensive. But when
| another interest as you call it,
/ wears 'snappy collars and smokes
| Havanahs and drives red car; or
when Il has soulful eyes and a
D FnrahnaH an1 "a
/ line OF soui-talk, like that Green
wich village freak / saw you stroll
/ ing in the moonlight with, last
\ night"
1T was your own FAULT" broke
\ in the Widow. you insisted on play
4 ing bridge with that little butter
/ haired card -fiend. all evening""
But I didn't want to-" protested
\ the Bachelor. II only wanted a lit
tie game. and a nice comfy place by
! the open fret
And II wasn't the Greenwich VII
, lage poets soul-talk that I wanted -
mfmicked the Widow. but the
moon, and the open-air. and a lit
tie romantic adventure, That
I proves my point" she added trium-
\ phantly. when a bachelor strays
\ from a woman's side. it's not in
/ search OF another woman-but in
search Of diversion. And, when a
\ husband nice average. tame hus-
\ band-begins looking around at
\ other women. it's because he wants
/ mething-comfort or congenia'ity
or sympathy-that his wife can't or
/ won't give him. But nobody ever
/ understands how q Woman can
/ want anything more in life than q
good. kind husband. who never
\ answers when she speaks or wastes
\ one brain-Cell IN conversation
with her Nobody understands how
a woman can acquire heart-fag
I Just as a man acquires brain-fag
I from listening 10 human music
\ box with only one tunei"
"I feel sorry for the modern hus-
| band" solilOquized the Bachelor
He has so many More rivals than