The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-11-29
Andrew and lmogene
By ROE TALKERSnN

Andrew came into the house whis- ting cheerily. but Imogene did not meet him at the door as usual. He took off his hat and coat and after hang ing them on the rack in the hall, en- tered the living room, where he found sobbing heap of ruffles huddled up in one end of the davenport.
 Why, what's the matter, hohey?' he asked, going over and putting his arm around her.
 "Oh, Andreww she said between sobs. Its awful It's a perfect trage- dy! I went over to Violets to play auction this afternoon and their phone is out of order and when I returned not 10 minutes ago I found note from Sarah, the cook, saying she was sick and had gone home and there isn't "a bit of dinner cooked" She broke into subs so pathetic that Virginia Creeper, the dog, began to whine in sympathy.
 Why that's nothing to strain your lachrymal ducts over" laughed. An drew. Put some powder on your nose and We will go downtown and get dinner.'
 But I have invited the Thomases to dinner and they will beS here in 10 minutes. Oh, what shall I do?" she hobbed. That Thomas woman is the most formal creature that ever lived and I hoped she would invite me to one of her swell teas and now Sarah has spoiled it all. Boo! Hoo!
 "Oh, boshi' said Andrew, 'Tll fix all that! I'll simply tell them the truth and take them downtown with us. Run along now and put on your gladdest clothes"
 "You'll do nothing of the sort" said Imogene. That woman would go away from here> and say I glad about and let my husband come home and find no dinner or that our silver is all in the pawn shop and we couldn't have them eat here or that we have quens- ware instead of Haviland or something dreadful, and Andrew, they simply must dine here and they cannot! Oh, what shall I do?"
 Have hYstericsn saiA Andrew brightly. Sob some more! "Ill run up and phone the doctor and he will be here when they come and l will excuse you and explain and then everything will be all right. That's the stuff Get sick"'
 "And have her say you beat me or something like that?" cried Imogene q tell you, Andrew-Good heavens! Here they come!" Imogene scuttled through the door and up the stairs before Andrew realized that the com pany was at the door.
 Imogene sat in her bedroom shiver- ing for about 10 minutes, and then hearing the front door close, she slipped to the window and saw the Thomases going up the street talking earnestly She dashed down the stairs to find Andrew calmly reading the afternoon paper
 "Tell me what you said to them' Tell me this instant" she said
 "Why. honey beat 'em to it." said Andrew smiling. '1 aske1 them in and told them that there was no use apol- ogizing about not coming here to din- ner last night, that We knew that 1t was something important and we sim ply wouldn't listen to an apology and would forgive them in advance, and that I was only too sorry that you were not here but that you were in- vited some place to dinnef and that was late in the office and couldn't get home and that I had just come in, and that the day was fine and that on days like this I always wished I was taxicah driver. and that believed the republicans would win and few thinks like that and"
 "But Andrew" said Imogene, "what did they say?"
 Didn't give 'em the lead once" laughed Andrew; talked them into the parlor and out into the hall and out the front gate and they went away accusing each other of having mixed the date and were about ready to fight as they turned the corner"
 -"Andrewr said Imogene with sigh of relief. there are times when you disnIav almost human intef1ieence."