The Washington times., 1920-07-02

This Goofy BaerA Is very much IN
favor OF A. Mitchell Palmer for
President OF the United States, Whist
with being goofy TO start with, which
10 a a way OF saying dafry, and IL
seems that yesterday he is sitting In
the convention with the Pennsylvania
delegation waiting for A. Michel
Palmer to be put In nomination.
Well. by and bye. some ooftysgets
up and makes q long speech. and says
he is going to nominate a certain
guy for President who is such won.
derful guy to hear him tell II. that
Goofy figures II must me his man, a.
Mitchell Palmer. or anyway some
guy from Pennsylvania-
So Goofy started In to cheer, ana
the first thing he knows some guy
reaches from in back OF him and gives
him a good sock in the kisser, which
10 a way of saying face, because IL
seems IL Is not A. Mitchell Palmer
who Is being nominated at all. but a
guy by the name of owen.
Naturally. Goofy Is very much ont
of order. but he apologies to one and
all, and waits around while until
pretty soon another bird gets up and
spills a lot OF chatter about a Puy
he Is going to nominate who sounds
so good that Goofy thinks this is A.
Mitchell Palmer sure, because the
way Goofy looks at It no other guy can
possibly be as good as the guy the
speaker is telling about except A.
Mitchell Palmer.
SO Goofy hauls of and starts to
bozo again. which is a way of saying
he ballyhoos for Palmer and some-
body reaches out from behind him
once more and puts the slug on him,
because II seems 1t Is not A. Mitchell
Palmer even yet, but no one but n
guy by the name of Gerard.
Well, Goofy apologies again 20
everybody in the Pennsylvania dele
cation and explains that he does not
understand that anybody who Is not
from Pennsylvania can be as swell
guy as the fellow claims Gerrad IL.
but II Is only q few minutes before
Goofy is again whooping 1t up for
some other bird who is not A. Mitch
ell Palmer at all, but nobody but a
guy by the name Of Cummings.
BY this time the Pennsylvania dele
cation Is very sore, indeed, so some
body puts the slug on Goofy so go ID
that he gets UP and goes out to take
the air, what with being a little
dizzy and one thing and another.
Well. when he finally gets back
with the delegation, a fellow is up on
the platform saying so many such
pleasant things about some guy he is
about to nominate, whoever 1t Is, thas
Goofy figures that this time he can
not miss, especially as the speaker
swears that his man Is one of the
best Democrats you will find in a
dogs age.
So Goofy interrupts the speaker
with much applause and then 1t
seems the Pennsylvania delegation
gets together and hurls him right out
of the joint as the speaker finally lets
II out that he Is only nominating q
guy by the name of Hitchcock.
Naturally by this time Goofy Baers
is.very much nonplussed and what to
do he does not know, SO he goes on
back down town to think 1t over. OF
course 1t is easy to see how Goofy is
daffy to begin with, or he will not be
in favor of A. Mitchell Palmer in the
first place, but where Goofy gets most
mixed up is that he never knows be-
fore there are so many good Demo-
Gratis in the party besides A. Mitchell
Palmer as the speakers claim.
Goofy says he still belieevs that
some Of the speakers are stealing A.
Mitchell Palmers stuff and claiming
1t for their own candidate, but he is
not able to prove 1t as yet.
"Well." I say TO this Goofy Baers,
''you are a pretty lucky guy at that.
You duck quite a few other lickings