Arizona republican., 1920-01-12

Jesse l.. Boyce, state auditor, isn't
 at all concerned about those verses
 carrying the wish that some power would "the giftie gie us of seeing our selves as ithers see us," for he has a
 little kewpie idol on his desk that
 someone sent him as likeness of him.
 self and he has only to look at it
 every few minutes to see himself just
 as others see him. The kewpie is
 roly-poly and grinning. Everybody
 knows the auditor
 Now a few yearlings on that grass
 ought to fatten up right we'll" the old
 timer was pointing out to the innocent
 young thing his son had brought out
 as a bride from the east.
 As he spoke he indicated a fine
 patch of grass which lay beside the
 road they were travelling on their way
 out to the ranch.
 "Yearlings2" queried the nice young
 bride from the east. What are .they?"
 Come, come E,dithi" the girls huS-
 band interrupted with impatience, half
 ashamed that he should be placed in
 such sorry light in the eyes of his
 father, who would not be pleased to
 think his new daughter-in-law didn't even know what a yearling was. How big do you think yearling
 would be? In this case it is a-a young COW. How big do you think a
 nice young COW one year old would be?"
 "Oh," said the bride, thinking very hard. 'I should say it would be big enough so it could stand up without wobbling, wouldn't it ?" With that timorous step character istic of the abashed male when he
 enters a store devoted to women's
 wearing apparel a man approached q
 saleslady in an exclusive" shop in
 Phoenix and stammeringly requested to be shown something distinctive in women's headwear. 'I want 1t as a birthday present for my wife" he apologetically ex- plained- But when told the price of a 'chapeau" that was displayed as a beautiful creation" his tone changed to one of amazement: 'Is that the regular price or just one fixed for the
 holiday season." he asked. "Oh, that's the regular price all
 right" the saleslady explained. But
 will admit the price on that parti-
 cular hat has advanced in the past few days on account of the sugar shortage"
 What does the sugar shortage have to do with the price on that parti- | cular hat?" queried the puzzled GUS | toner.
 | Anything that looks like sugar is l. worth money these days and any woman will look unusually sweet in that hat" was the answer that made | the sale.
 Why is a Harmony club? Rumor has 1t that a club for har- mony exists among the democrat tic in | mates of the capitol, and many ob serving ones have questioned why. The answer Is simple enough, according to the sage of the capitol: 1t is because governor and therefore for the pur- pose of keeping the capitol safe for democracy 1t is necessary that the candidates confine themselves within the bounds of club regulations in or der to maintain a semblance of bar- mony in the public eye. Aye, aye, That's why a harmony club is.
 One man on special duty was neces- sary in the news room of the Arizona Republican Saturday night after the Long Beach-Phoenix football game. l Telephone calls followed each other | just as fast as the receivers on two phones could be detached and hung up again. The comments on the result were various.
 You say 102 to nothing?" one man called back, incredulously. T want the score, not the odds" There was the usual number who | made the inevitable satiric comment, 1 pretty closet" One said. in fine scorn What a lovely track meet, Too bad | the day was so rainy" | So far as could be learned no one 1 was contented. Many said they were afraid Phoenix would lose, although | they never expected to have the team annihilated by such an overwhelming score.
 l Most optimistic of all was one per son, evidently high school freshman, who said:
 "Oh! That's pretty bad, isn't it? But | but, well, we'll win next year. you just | see!'
 | Whether or not a return game has been obtained for next years schedule l is not yet known.