The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1920-12-09

land and through all its history.
''Mr. Longfellow tells us in one of
his short poems Learn to Labor and
to Wait 1 have labored through
about twenty-five courses at this
table, then have waited until this
hour that 1 might be spared the in
evitable ordeal; but when the last
plate had been cleared and your
POSTMASTER arose and began clearing
his throat, knew there was no escape
and the time had come when he was
going to present to you the most
popular of all dishes at a banquet
tongue garnished with brains
"And 1 have Iabored and waited
these four years from the time I was
Freshman until little later than
now when 1 would really be a big
turkey with something more than pin
feathers and down, but now l look at
the future through smoked glasses
because the speaker preceding me
has shown you the Alumni turkey
hasn't feathered out yet.
''The reason that followed the big
turkey this evening was not because
little turkeys are usually seen follow
ing an old setting hen, but because
the POSTMASTER acted upon the same
pledged dentist, who, when his first
patient appeared, determined to exer-
else all that genius and understand
ing which dentists generally exercise
in the practice of their profession.
The patient coming from the country
told him he wanted two back teeth
which he pointed out to him, pulled.
The dentist placed him in the chair
and in a few minutes he had pulled
out his two front teeth. The patient
left the chair and it occurred to him
that the circumstance might be deem
ed of sufficient Importance to call the
dentists attention to it He said, I
told you to pull out these two back
teeth Yes said the dentist, so you
did, but 1 found the front ones were
kind of handler to get at
''The Little Turkey"-c any
under graduate of this institution,
can any recent graduate of this insti-
tuition imagine man responding to
that toast? However, I must make
the best of my position and speak of
some points upon which the old Cob
bier and the little turkey are clearly
agreed.
Gust think of the idea of classify
ing the Alumni as a big turkey and
thinking of Senior as a little turkey.
But I suppose the committee knew
what they were doing when they de-
cided that I should still be in short
pants.
''Not all of US have had the good
fortune of seeing college presidents
or even big turkeys but when it comes
to the question of Little Turkey we
are on common ground because all of
US have been little turkeys and the
majority of US have little chance of
ever growing up.
whenever hear a member of the
Alumni telling what the Alumni does
and what the under graduate should
do, am always reminded of the story
of Yankee and an Englishman, who
were travelling together in Italy. They
were riding along on the train wheT
suddenly the grand spectacle of Mt.
Vesuvius in eruption, throwing it:
brilliant rays across the Bay OF
| Naples, burst upon their astonisheC
gaze. Now, look at that said the
EngIishman, you haven't anything
in America that comes anywhere neal
that. No. replied the Yankee, we
haven't got Vesuvius but we have go
a waterfall that could put that thing
out in less than five minutes
"When I was a Freshman I reall!
thought I was a big turkey and all
had to do was mark time from ther'
on out and await the coming OF tn,
market day. But now can lool
back and see that was pretty small
turkey at that time and am a lonl
way from being grown up yet; and
| don't see that the under graduate ha
any cause to envy the Alumni. Tn
majority of the Alumni have settles
down; are more or less stationar!
and set in their way while the unde
graduate is restless, uneasy and un
satisfied. But just as a rolling ston
gathers no moss, neither does a sit
ting hen gather any fat
+ The Mems GIee Club made its frs
appearance at this meeting with a re
| Spouse to several numbers. Thi
chorus is composed of some Of tn
i best voices In the school and promise
to be one OF the finest musical organ
izations IN the west.
Mr.. ShiveIy was given ''The Strut
as he was thought more likely to do
justice, owing to the fact that he Ia
been instrumental IN helping to 81