davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The fool-killer., 1920-09-01
THE NEW PUBLISHER.

Let me introduce you to Mr..
Ralph Swanson, the new publish
er of The Fool-Killer. Mr.. Swan
son is a young man of splendid
character and very marked abil-
ity in several different lines. AS
writer, artist, musician, printer,
teacher and soldier he has made
good. He went through hell in
France for the benefit of the
plutes, and he has no decisions
as to the character of the pluto
propaganda that we were fed on
during the war. And now he is
back here with his sleeves rolled
up and has tackled the job Of
publishing the Fool-Killer. AS
soon as he has had time to get
up steam I predict that there
will be something bidding around
this shop. My job from now on
will be to operate the gab-mill.
I'm going to pick up this old
typewriter by the hind leg and
just frail the tan-bark plum off
of everything. And you-unses
must all pitch in and help Ralph
cover creation with this-here
gospel-truck.
The fool-killer., 1920-09-01
BACK TO THEIR VOMIT.
Continued from page H.

before the convention, or they
are liars and hypecries now. If
the great reforms which they
preached for so vehemently were
needed then they are still need
ed. If they are not needed now
they were never needed.
In either case, the Johnsonites
have proved themselves to be
two-faced hypocrites and con-
temptible cutters, and they are
no longer worthy Of the respect
and confidence of decent people.
In the Democratic camp Tom
Watson Of Georgia has cut ex-
actly the same caper.
He ripped and he ranted ind
he roared.
He fumed and he foamed and
he fixed.
And then he turned right
around and declared that he
would support Cox-support the
millionaire, the plutocrat, the re-
dictionary, the enemy Of every
progressive idea that Tom Wat
son has pretended to advocate.
Thus do the political dogs re-
turn to their vomit.
The fool-killer., 1920-09-01

: I heard a funeral sermon re-
Gently, and the preacher said
that the dead person was in
heaven walking the golden
streets and praising the Lord.
But David says in Psalms lis:
II: "The dead praise not the
Lord" It seems to me sorter
like that preacher must have
lied. What do you think about
it, Tom?
The fool-killer., 1920-09-01

The labor forces in England
and France showed the war-.jin-
goes where to head in. When we
suffer as much on this side as
they have suffered over there,
maybe we will have a little sense,
too.
The fool-killer., 1920-09-01

The Allies have put their mon
ey on the wrong boss in Russia
every time. They can't pick a
winner till it runs over them,
and then it is too late.
The fool-killer., 1920-09-01

IF Cox becomes president he
will be commandcr-in-chief Of
army. Then it will be Cox's Ar
nv Somehow that seems to
have a mighty familiar sound
and a mighty soupy smell.
IF T. r. could know that the
name Roosevelt" was on a DEM
ocratic ticket, he would kick the
lid off of his coffin and turn over
six times and think some awful
bad words.
Why all this fuss about Hard
ing's front porch? The back
porch, OF even the wood box be-
hind the stove in the kitchen,
would be more appropriate for
"McKinley's shadder."
Now, by grannies, if the wom-
en- don't do a better job Of voting
than the men have been in the
habit of doing, | move that the
whole human race be disfran-
chised and let the bosses vote.
Without being able to get his
own country to join it, Willrow
Woodson still acts as president
of the Leegonashuns. Sorter like
catching out a boss to ride, and
then fastening the saddle on the
gate post.
All this big talk among the
Allies and the United States
about refusing to recognize"
the Soviet Republic of Russia re-
minds me of the little boy who
refused to recognize" the calf
that stepped on him.
The readers of the Fool-Killer
send in many good letters and
articles that I would be glad to
print if | had room for them.
But the space is SO limited, and
there is such a demand for my
own fool CAB, that | cent print
much else.
This is the first time in the
history Of the country, SO far as
[ know, that both of the old
party candidates for president
have been millionaires. Or, how
the Redemocans do love the poor
man! Say, Rube, why don't
you get out and yell some for
Carding and Hox?
When God had finished MAX
ing the Roosevelt family He
swept up the scraps and shay
ings and made Franklin D. Roo
sevelt. Because it was the sor-
REST job he had turned out, God
dumped it into the sorriest par
ty, and now that party has NOM
mated it for Vice-President.
The Republican spell-binders
are busting their belly bands try
ing to make us believe that
Harding is another Mckinley.
Mighty apt he is. Just about
as much like Mckinley as a
stuffed owl is like two acres of
cabbage. But even a man of the
Mckinley type is not what this
country needs now. If McKin-
The fool-killer., 1920-09-01
GIZZARD-TO-GIZZARD

Well, Rastus, you just sit down
on that-thar stump, and I'll sit
down on this one, and We'll just
naturally have one of our good
old confabs about things in gen
eral and about The Fool-Killer in
particular.
I've been pumping my chin
music through the columns of
this-here paper for nearly elev-
en- years. I have greatly enjoy
ed doing the gab-work, and if
that had been all there was to
do | would have had a regular
picnic all the time. But law
sakes, honey, it takes a whole
lot Of something else besides CAB
to run a paper.
[ have been handicapped with
sickness and other troubles, so
that the mechanical work of get
ting out the paper has been a
continual burden.
1t has never been done right.
What [ have always needed
was a partner to take charge OF
the printing and mailing, so that
| would have nothing else to
bother about but the chin-music.
Ever since [ got big enough
to sop bread and 'lasses out ol a
tin plate [ have been writing
jim-dandy truck to print in the
papers, but [ never did have
sense enough to run the mechan-
ical and business end Of a paper
like it ought to be run.
And that's another reason why
| needed a partner.
Well, THINK I've got him.
I've turned the whole shebang
over to him except this-here oid
Oliver that [ write the chin
music on, and he seems to Le
starting out fine. I think you
will stand a better chance now OF
getting your paper regularly an
on time.
And I think maybe The
"goody" will be gooder.
The fool-killer., 1920-09-01
EDITORIALS

The world isn't safe for any
thing but war and mlllionalres.
It takes more than a big name
tied to a mules tail to make ev-
en- a vice-president.
Many Mexicans are named Je-
sus, but I'm afraid most OF them
took the name in vain.
Every time Harding speaks
you can see the vocal cords moy-
ing in the throat Of the Senate.
Don't take your preachers
word for it. Don't even take my
word for it. Think a little for
yourself.
Trying to wrap up Franklin
D. Roosevelt in the Roosevelt
fame is like wrapping up a tur-
nip seed in a bed quilt.
Does anybody know when
Senator Newberry is to start
serving his two years in the pen?
Don't all speak at once.
Now, Mr.. VIM
men, you can just rear back and
howl till your hcwler splits wide
open. Wow!
cambridge Colby trying to act
as Secretary Of State reminds
me of a one-legged clothes-pin
trying to straddle a saw-log.
Now, Madam, you've got it
what are you going to do with it?
We want to see some 1esults
along about corn-shuckin' time.
If the League of Nations can't
manage Russia, it might try
something easier-telling the
wind how to blow, for instance.
If anybody wants an Inter-
church World Movement right
cheap, now is the time to buy.
Address 26 Broadway.
The reason Candidate Hard
wad is staying at home is be-
cause nobody wants to see him
except the millicnaires, andthey
are able to go to him.
Any working man who can
vote for Hardidge and Cooling
could pour ham gravy over a
saddle blanket and eat it for
breakfast.
The plutes are all going to vote
for Coxing and Hard-excuse
me, I mean Hoxing and Card
no, hang-take it, I mean Card
ing and Hox!
The first time an opportunity
came along for the League OF
Nations to do something it fell
down on the job and hatteneC
out like a pancake.
Cox is running for the pres.
idency, but Harding is sitting fol
it. Warren thinks Jim will drive
it by his front porch and he'll
grab it.
Wearing a Cox or Harding
The fool-killer., 1920-09-01

The pluto world is now build
ing great hopes on General
Wrangel. My stars alive, what
an appropriate name! The plutes
always have depended on a gen
eral wrangle, and I hope they'll
get their belly full Of it now.
The fool-killer., 1920-09-01

The world isn't safe for any
thing but war and millionaires.
The fool-killer., 1920-09-01

Wearing a Cox or Harding
button is just another way Of
saying that you haven't got
knowledge enough to be decent
ly ashamed Of yourself.
The fool-killer., 1920-09-01

Many Mexicans are named Je
.us, but I'm afraid most of then
took the name in vain.
The fool-killer., 1920-09-01

It takes more than a big name
tied to a mules tail to make ev
en- a vice-president.
The fool-killer., 1920-09-01

Cox is running for the pres
idency, but Harding is sitting fo
it. Warren thinks Jim will driy
it by his front porch and he'
grab it.
The fool-killer., 1920-09-01

The first time an opportunity
came along for the League OF
Nations to do something it fell
down on the job and hattenec
out like a pancake.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1920-10-13

Navasota, Texas.--Mrs. W. M. Peden,
ofths place, relates the following INTEREST,"
ing account of how she recovered her
strength, having realized that she was
actually losing her health:
"lIealth is the greatest thing in the
world, and when you feel that gradually
slipping away from you, YOU certainly Sit
up and take notice. That is what did
some time ago when found myself in a
very nervous, rundown condition OF
health. was so tired and felt so liteless
could hardly so at all.
III was just no account for work.
woM,d get a bucket Of water and would
tccl so weak | would have to set it down
before felt like could lit ii 10 The shelf.
In this condition, OF course, TO do even
my housework was task almost inn
possible 10 accomplish.
~ was nervous and easily upset.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1920-10-13

| couldn't rest well at night and was :.
just lifcicss.
"Illcard OF Cardui and after reading
decided lad some female trouble that
was Pulling me down. sent for Card.i
and began it.
"ln very short while alter began tl,c
Cardui Home Treatment | saw an inn
provemert and it wasn't long until was
all right good appetite, splendid rest,
and much stronger SO that easily did my
house work.
"Latcr took a bottle OF Cagdui as a
tonic. can recommend Cardui and glad
ly 80 so, for If more women knew, il
wculd save great deal OF worry and
sickness"
The enthusiastic praise Of thousands OF
other women who have found Cardui
helpful should convince you that II ~
worth trying. All druggists sell 1t
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1920-10-13
WILSON WILLING
TO AWAIT VOTE
Let Missouri Decide Question OF
YaTacity. Issue With Senator.

Haractty. Issue With Senator.
Washington, Oct. 6.-President Will
son today telegraphed Senator Spen-
cer,}Republican, Missouri, that he was
content to let the voters of Missouri
decide which OF them was telling the
truth. The telegram referred to SEN
ator Spencers charges that the presi-
dent had promised military aid to Ru-
mania and Serbia, which the president
said yesterday was false.
The telegram, which was made pub
lie at the White House without COM
mcnt or explanation. follows:
Il am perfectly content to leave it
to the voters Of Missouri to determine
which Of us is telling the truth"
Replying to the presidents letter of
yesterday. Senator Spencer, in letter
made public at st. Louis tonight, quot
ed in support of his original state
ment from what, he said, was the
stcnographic notes OF the eighth
plcnary session Of the peace confer
ence. lie asked the PRESIDENT to inform
him whether MIR. Wilson had made the
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1920-10-13

copyrighted by newspaper syndicate
and given wide circulation.
"On several occasions challenged
the attention of the senate to this
speech" the telegram continued, my
speeches by scores of thousands were
erous publicists and speakers have
repeatedly referre TO and commented
upon this declaration of the president.
It's authenticity was never disputcl on
to my knowledge until Mr.. Tumulty
recently denounced it as false. The
speech bears upon its face evidence of
its authenticity as it is couched in
the we'll known phraseology of the
president. In view of these facts a
discerning public will not be inclined
TO accept Nh. Tumulty's denial. There
is one way this dispute can be settled.
graphic records Of the peace confer
encc showing lust waht was said. The
| official reports have been Studiously
suppressed AMI kent secret although
the senate foreign relations committee
,2kcd expressly for them. 1t was
| statcl by Cicmecnccau's private score
, tary that the reasons why the sessions
were held in secret was bccaus the
! president OF the United States insisted
upon it as against Clcmcnceaus own
! judgment.
That the latter statement is abso-
! lutcly >orrcct is shown by tho tcsti-
| mony Of Secretary Lansing given be-
| fore the senate August s. 1919. See
part six, printed hearings, page 40.
Following dispatch Of the telegram
to Senator Spencer, Senator Reed gave
out q statement in which he said
"What now do we understand? That
! President Wilson now means we are
not 30 be under obligations to send
our armies to protect Rumania and
Othc" members of the league against
attack?
If so, what becomes Of article 10
'ahich he declares is the heart of the
covenant?"
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1920-10-13
LAND SALE
state Of South Carolina,
LaurenS County.
PROBATE COURT

u NoIDt "a NsStItl
Pursuant to decree of the Court in
the case of j. Henry Rasor, rs admin
istrator, Plaintiff, against j. c. Smith
Ct al, Defendants, | will sell at public
auction to the highest bidder, at I.au-
rcns 9. H., s. G., on ,Salesday in Novcm-
ber, 1920, it being the lst day OF the
month, during the legal hours Of sale,
all that tract or plantation of land, sit
g, lying and being in Cross Hill
Township, in Ianrens County, S. c.,
containing one hyndred sixty-tive (l65t
acres, more rhess, bounded on the
North by lands of L!W. Rccdcr, on the
East by lands lof II. H. Cole, on the
South by lands of ~. B. Pinson and j.
G. Smith, and on the West by lands
OF -----and Cane Creek.
Terms Of Sale: Cash. Purchaser to
pay for papers and stamps. If the pur
chaser gals to comply with the terms
OF sale, the land to be resold on the
same or some subsequent Salesday on
the same terms, and at the risk OF the
former purchaser.
O. G. THOMPSON.
j. p. Il. G.
October 6, 1920. 13-3t-A
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1920-10-13
statement as attributed to him in the
senographic notes taken at Paris.
The presidents telegram today ap-

Kansas, City, Oct. 6.-Senator James
A. Reed in a telegram late today to
United States Senator Spencer assert
ed that President Wilson had made a
statement pledging American military
aid to Rumania and Serbia in an adj
dress at the peace conference on May
81, 1919.
The text of the address did not pass
censor until December 3, 1919, when it
was brought to this country by a ncws-
paper correspondent and published in
the Washington Star on that date. The
speech also appeared in full in the
Congressional Record on December f.,
1919, the telegram added.
Senator Reeds telegram was sent in
response to one from Senator Spencer
| asking for information on the subject.
Senator Reeds telegram urged the
president to produce the stcnographic
| records of the peace conference TO
show just what was said"
Senator Reeds telegram declared
! the presidents statement also was
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1920-10-13
GEORGIA VOTERS
NAME HARDWICK
Former Senator Will be Governor. De.
feat for Walker.

Former Senator Will be Governor. De-
feat for Walker.
Atlanta, Oct. G--Thomas w. Hard
wick, former United States senator
won the Democratic nomination for
governor of Georgia over Clifford
Walker, former state attorney general, |
in the run off primary held in Georgia
today. according to incomplete and un-
official returns received by the Atlanta
Constitution and the Atlanta Journal
tonight.
Figures compiled by The Consttu-
ton TO 10 O'Clock showed that with
only ID counties out Of the 15a in the
state to report, llardwick had received
222 county unit votes and Walker 800
Only l?l votes were necessary for the
nomination.
The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1920-10-13

Macon Ga, Oct g. The Macon Tclc-
graph at 10 p. m. conceded the cleo
ton of Former United States senator
Thomas w. lardwck as governor Of
Georgia. With 80 counties to hear
from Hardwick lacked only ten county
unit votes and in tho list of counties
to be heard from are a number OF Ger
Cayton's weekly. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1916-1921, 1920-07-31
A GODLY MAN

There are brave men and then there are
brave men, and in the latte. class is to
be found the name of Rev. il. P Schuler,
pastor of the Methodist Episcopal Church
of Paris Texas and he has won the right
to exalted position by denouncing the
red-handed murderers, who burned two
colored men at the stake in that city some
weeks ago The Rev. Schuler, like the
burners. is white man, but in the Snu.h
it is almost as fatal for d white man TO
stand up for the rights Of black man a.
i is for a black man himself to d. so. At
the time of the affair he made every effort
to- turn the mob from it's .,astardly work
lefore the burnrgs and has since condemn.
ed their actions in words too plain to allow
for miscomprehension. He has even circu-
lated a printed statement carrying his
views anent the lynchngs, demanding that
the perpetrators be dealt with accordin" to
law and begging members of both races to
be calm and to remain cool under these try
ing circumstances. He draws attention to
the fact that occurrences of this sort will
never be stopped as long as the officers of
the law fail to resist mob attempts, even to
the point of laying down their lives l., the
pursuance of their duty; he states that
this country needs the kind Of officers and
the type of citizenship that will see to It in
the future that no prisoners shall be taken
from the Jail and the protection of the
courts to the faggot pile until the Officers
and many good citizens have with heir
lives paid the price of the defence Of law
and Justice
"The above statement I make in the
face of the advice that has come to me from
MANY friends that such policy is and will
be at present unsafe for me- says Rev
Shu1er ct am informed that my life has
been numerouslv threatened if 7 should
make such a statement. I am told that the
mob used my name repeatedly in such a
manner as to very much concern my friends.
7 can truthfully say that the attitude of this
mob toward me does not in the least con.
Germ me. Better men than mvsa'e have died
when far less was at stake. I am only con.
cerned in doing my Gpd.apponted duty IN
this situation. Therefore, without apology
or plea for quarter. I unhestatnglv con-
denim the burning Of these mer in our city
as an act of lawlessness. which if carried
to it's legitimate ends, would destroy our
government and damn our civilization And
in making this statement I ask for neither
the protection of my friends nor !he mercy
of my enemies
Even in Duluth no minister Of the gospel
is on record as condemning the mob with
such vehemence as has that southern
preacher It's long step in the right di-
rection and we trust others vii! follow in
his wake.
Cayton's weekly. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1916-1921, 1920-07-31
EDITORIAL PARAGRAPHS

5-VCAYTON ....... ........ ....... .......
Please answer good and true, If Cox is
wet, what are yOu9
It begins to look as if yor,ll. Hubbard
has the big interests on the hp
That was a long drawn out convention at
Yakima and as yet it did not seem to draw
out anything
In olden times Bac,s was the God of wine,
but these Sahara days he is just God
without constituency
Apparently the japanese will not assimi-
late with the white man of this country but
be it remembered it is no fault of the Japan
ese.
Doubtless Babe Ruth learned to run home
when he felt like having fresh drink of
mothers milk and the habit is still with
him.
The Elks are to be congratulated for hav-
ing Miller last Tuesday evening that
ground out the dollars by the barrels for
them.
Villa may want to give up, but he does
not seem to have any intention of doing SC
until the man with the money first does
do so.
That proposed thirty per cent cut in
ladies dresses if carried out would almost
make them us high up and ds lo.t down as
possible.
Having learned how hard pressed the
et1tor hereof is for ready cash, Re ,,laII has
doubtless come to Seattle &c 4 q bit of
missionary work
Instead OF wanting to be governor of this
state Elbert F. Blaine is devotng his entire
time trying to make the state wet, but with
water instead Of booze.
Men may hold the record for gold digging.
but any woman with pretty face can double
discount him and give him cards and spades
before they begin the race
" Home again from a foreign shore, " sings
Jack johnson, and it seems to fill his soul
with JOY to be home again. May he live
long and have more sense
Since Harding at his own wish will only
be a one termer, why not Albert johnson
as his successor, if he will but save us from
the impending Yellow Peril
Democracy is to invade the West this fall.
Republicanism did something similar some
four years ago and it was sorry it did it
and history may again repeat ITSELF
When fourteen year old girl goes out
TOR an all night outing with twenty-seven
year old man. it certainly looks bad and
term In the penitentiary should be drawn
by the man.
II George B. Lamping is a Republican
then we must either be Democrat or a
damphool, for politically speaking we know
we are not the kind of Republican that
Lamping is.
II airplanes are able to travel 200 miles
an hour, leaving New York City at lock
and arriving in San Francisco for noon
lunch, spending three hours in the Quake
City and yet being back in New York in
time for o'clock dinner, will all be in the
pales of possibility.
Cayton's weekly. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1916-1921, 1920-07-31
CAYTON'S WEEKLY

Published every Saturday at Seattle. Washington
u. S. A.
Subscription 81 in advance.
HORACE ROSCOE CAYTON. Editor and Publisher
Entred second class matter, August Is, 1915, at
the post office at Seattle Wash, under the Act of
March 3rd 1916.
TELEPHONE: BEACON 357s
Office 317 22ud Ave. South
Cayton's weekly. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1916-1921, 1920-07-31
THAT JAP INVESTIGATION

There is no doubt in our mind but that
million Japanese would be God send to