davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1920-02-04
Such Is Life
As 1t is Seen
By o. B. JOYFUL
By pwIG

When Evelyn Greeley. the much
proposed-to young movie actress,
began telling girls how to grab of
husbands for themselves, the male
students of Cincinnati University
started their Apollo Defense
League" for the purpose of "re-
pelling the onslaughts of feminin-
ity."
These young men are fnexperi-
enced In the wiles of women. II
they knew more they'd know there's
only one way to escape the matri-
monial shackles. That is the meth
cd tried and tested by the late
Robinson Crusoe.
Mabel will not take the prize
At any beauty show;
She hasn't grace, she hasn't eyes.
For brains ! answer-no!
But men she wants and men she
OF yoi yoi yoi yoi yoi!
For every move that Mabel makes
1t says. Come hither. boyr
Boy! See il you can find the
gent who said there was nothing
new under the sun. He may be
in the dining room.
International swindIers," says a
news dispatch. sold blocks of lead
for platinum in Geneva"
Mind the days when gold brick
peddlers had to wear protective
coloring to keep from selling their
wares to each other in the good
old USA?
Each year the sales of horse
shoe nails grow larger, though
each census shows fewer horses
in America
Now. with prohibition supposedly
reducing the demand. manufactur-
ers OF hip pocket TASKS are operat-
ing overtime to supply purchasers.
Funny, isn't It.
Wellesley College girls clip eye
lashes close" Mrs. T. Dun Informed
her husband. who thought it AN
other mad rush for pulchritude."
Bargains in matrimony" are Of
Tered by the marrying squires of
Peoria Ill. No fee charged IL the
bridegroom admits. so all the world
may know, that he had nothing at
all to do with the proposing be-
yond merely replying in the az
firmative.
The Leap Year husband always
can make use of this handy retort:
Well. why didn't you propose to
him. II he was such a fine bird?''
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1920-02-04
Army Orders

Chaplain John 7. Anton, U. S. army, will
make not to exceed four trips during Febru-
airy and March, from this City to New York
city n. y, on temporary duty, in connec-
uon with the work Of the Recruiting Drive.
First Lieut.. Walter n. Z. Sullivan, Sixth
Infantry, will proceed from Camp Gordon,
Ga. to this city On or about February Is,
1920.
Lieut.. Col. William Newman Infantry.
will report in person to the president Of the
examining board convened by the comma nd
ing general Southeastern Department for the
examination Of Infantry officers at such time
and place as he may be required by the
board. to determine his fitness for pro-
motion.
Maj. Coleridse Livingston Beaver. Medical
Corps, now on leave Of absence, is relieved
from station at Camp Dix, wrightstown, n.
J.. upon expiration Of his present leave. and
will proceed to oteen n. c., for duty.
Maj. Frederick Ellsworth Clark. Medical
Corps. now at o. s. Army General Hospital
No 2, Fort McHerry. Nd, will proceed to
New York, n. Y. and report in person to
the comma nding officer, department labora-
tory. Eastern Department, Army Building
for duty.
Capt. Henry Hallauer. Quartermaster
Corps, Is relieved from his present duties q {
Camp Dix. MI, and will proceed to Rari-
taa Arsenal Metuchen, n. J., and report to
cficer.
Mai. Samuel d. Heed. Ordnance Depart
ment. is relieved from his present duties and
assignment at the Philadelphia district ord
nance office, Philadelphia, Pa, and will pro
coed without delay to Camp Dix, N. J., and
report to the commanding general thereof
for Temporary dIty pending discharge.
The resignation Of Cuthbert P. Stearns. Of
his commissions as temporary lieutenant col
onel. Air Service, and as captain, Cavalry
Irregular armyl, is accepted by the President.
First Lieut.. John r. Peters, Medical Corps,
now q patient At Walter Reed General Hos
pitH1, Takoma PARK, ID. C., will proceed once
q month to Howard II. Kelly Hospital, Bal
timore, Nd, for necessary radium treatment,
and upon completion Of each treatment will
return here.
Col. william Kelly. Corps of Engineers,
Is relieved from duty In the office Of the
Chief OF Engineers. to take effect upon the
expRa tion Of his present leave Of absence,
and will then proceed without delay 10 Jack
sesviila. Fla
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1920-02-04
At the Theaters

c.rrck-"The Letter Of the Law"
National - Robert ManteIl in - Matinee
Merchant Of Venice" night. '.Riche.
lieu"
Relasco-'paddies."
Polf's-"No More Blondes
Noore's RiaItO-''sbepherd OF the Hils."
Ioew's Palace-''Scarlet Days"
Crandalrs Metropolitan - NaEimoya In
stronger Than Death"
Ioew's Columbia-Robert Warwick IN s.The
Tree If knowledge"
Cosmos-Continpou vaudeville ana pictures
Crandall's Knickerbocker-Alice Brady In
THE Fear Market"
B. Y. Keith's-vaudeville.
CrandalI's-Nen Craig in Common Prop
erty."
Moore's Garden-Lonel Barrymore in The
Copperhead."
hoOss,s strand Gsdys Broetwel in
Gayety-Rose sydell's Londen Bellies.
Fotly-"Round the Town"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1920-02-04
A LINE O. CHEER
EACH DAY O. THE YEAR
By John kendrIck Baazs.
A WEALTHY MAN.

A WEALTHY MAN.
! have no holdings in the soil.
l hold no shares In Steel,
No motor stocks or Standard Oil.
Ny Golfers e'er reveal:
But I've a first-class appetite,
A Job that pays me we'll.
A cozy home to seek a. night
Where love and kindness dwell
I've now and then a bit to spend
On things / do not need,
To ease the burden of the friend
Who seeks the friend indeed.
No enemy / know; my cares
Impair no jot my health.
And Croesus' self for all his shares
Can boast no greater wealth.
Copyright. 1870, by The Mcclure
Newspaper Syndicatc.)
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1920-02-04
New York City
By o. o. McIntyre

New York.. Feb. a.
Although I'm getting gray.
still have young ideas.
And from my window.
watched the skaters
Over on Central Park lake.
Gliding gracefully about
So decided 70 20 over.
And it looked so easy.
That I rented some skates.
And stepped out on the lake.
And Willie Collier skated by.
And yelled. (which way~
And i tried to wave my hand.
-
And make a snappy reply.
When some one Jerksd the lake.
Right from under ma
And little birds began
To twitter and tweet
And skyrockets to shoot.
And when I got up.
Someone had ammonia
Under my nose.
So looked foolish and said:
IT must have slipped"
And one of them said.
Rather sarcastic like.
Yes. you must have"
So 1 let so of them.
Starting off nonchalanuy.
Just like used to do.
On the creek back home.
And I would have been.
All right, ] am certain.
II had just stuck.
To plain everyday skating.
But I got in a crowd.
And saw Ina Claire.
And some other beauties.
And I acted like.
I didn't see them at all.
And began to do.
A few fancy glides.
And circled backwards.
With a long, slow glide.
With one leg In the air.
And I soon discovered.
The leg wouldn't come down
And there I was.
With only two legs.
And one practically useless.
And so yelled for hedp.
And two skaters grabbed me.
And I went home.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1920-02-04
Ant-Bear to BE Guest.

The camp of the United States
Marines down the Potomac at
Quantico is to have as its guest
an Animal with an honorable world
war record. Jimmy" is a Mexican
ant-bear. He was taken prisoner
by the Marines who participated in
the shooting up" of Vera Cruz.
Mexico. in 1914. when the sea-
soldiers demonstrated their prowess
as marksmen against Mexican snip
ers. He was for a long time the
Marines mascot on board a battle
ship. and went to France with the
Marine Brigade in the recent big
war.
During, period of furious fight
ing Jimmy was hit by a German
bullet and was marked for hospital
treatment. He soon recovered and
was a reigning curiosity to the
French people who had never be-
fore seen an ant-bear. He has a
long. flexible snout with which he
was wont to exploit the contents Of
half empty cans of food. Crowds
of natives were amused at the
antics of the animal with the long
nose.
Jimmy" recently has been an in
mate Of the Cincinnati Zoo, but the
boys at Quantico learneA-t the qskfnt
little ant-eater was pinine for
Marine company, so they are going
to send for Jimmy" am informed.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1920-02-04
Events of TODAY


District Society OF Sons OF the Amer
lean Revolution will meet in Rausch-
ers restaurant tonight.
Walter Reed Hospital patients will
be addressed by Brig. Gen. w. ID. Con-
nor this afternoon in the Red Cross
hut
Board OF Education will meet in the
Franklin School this afternoon.
Women's City Club will be addressed
by Mrs. Edward p. Costigan tonight.
Zionist Society Of Engineers and
Architects. Washington Chapter. will
meet in the Y. NJ. h A headquarters
tonight.
Anthony League will he addressed
this afternoon by Oliver p. Hoyom on ,
the District penal system.
Day Nursery Association viii mec-
in the New Ebbitt this morning.
Young women's Christian Associa-
ton will have tea from 2 to O'Clock
this afternoon
Club Events
women's City Club will be addressed
by Mrs Edward P. Costigsn tonight
Delta Tau Delta Club will hold a
dinner at the fraternity house. AZ
Massachusetts, avenue northwest, to-
night
Gibbons Club win give a dance at
eol Z street northwest tonight.
Nebraska Girls Club will meet
tonight in the Blue Triangle House.
North Capitol and z streets
Community Service Club No. s
will have classes In dancing. gym
nastics and basketball and two
bowling tournaments tonight.
FraternaI Events
Potomac Commandery No. :.
Knights Templar, will have the Red
Cross and the order OF Malta con-
ferred tonight
King Solomon Lodge, A. F. 4 A.
NJ. will have a communication to-
night.
Areme Chapter. o. Z. s.. will have
business meeting and social eve
ming tonight.
Community Center Events
Wilson Normal Community Cen
ter will have classes in domestic
art. modern literature, Spanish,
gymnastics and stenography to-
night
At the Capitol.
The Senate Foreign Relations Sub
committee on Mexican affairs will
meet at 1880 O'Clock this morning.
The Senate Naval Affairs Subcom-
mittee will hear Secretary OF the Navy
Daniels on naval awards at 1880
O'Clock this morning.
/ The Gn..s. EN...s--
mittee will meet in executive session
at 1870 o'clock this morning to con-
slider the diplomatic and consular bill.
The Senate Commerce Committee
will meet at 2;30 O'Clock this afternoon
for hearing on the shipping program
The Senate Interstate Commercs
Committee will meet at go o'clock
this afternoon for a conference on the
railroad bill
The Senate Committee on Postofices
and Post Roads will meet at 1879
O'Clock this morning to consider ap-
preparations.
The Houst Naval Affairs COMMITTEES
will meet at 1870 o'clock this morning
70 consider the naval appropriations
bill.
The House Foreign Relations Com
mittee will meet at 1880 o'clock to con-
slider passport fees.
The House Military Affairs Commit
tee will meet at 1870 O'Clock to consider
the army reorganization bill.
II The House Committee on District
Affairs will meet at 1880 o'clock
this morning 10, consider the street
car merger bill.
The House Public Lands Commit
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1920-02-04
Departures from Normal.

Aecumulsted deseiebey Of tempersturs
since January 1. 1870. -i5e
Deficiency Of Temperature sines februsry
I, 1920, Ii.
Aecumulated deficiency Of precipitataor
since Jsnuary I. 1890. La
Deficiency Of precipitation since February
1. i0eo, -o.sa
Temperature same date last year-Hirh.st,
IS. lowest, Is
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1920-02-04

HiEhest, q; lowest -
Relative bunidity-s O. n. %; p N.
"a. .. m. 20.
Rainfall % D. N. to 9 .. m-). e.o2
Hours Of sunshine. o.
Per cent Of possible sunshins. o.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1920-02-04
THHEEBIBLE.
Translated out Of the original
tongues and from the edition
known as Our Mothers Bible"
The Second Book of Moses, Called
EXODUS.
Chnnpter NXX-Continued.

80 Upon mans flesh shall it not
be poured, neither shall we make
any other like 1t. after the compo-
sition OF It: 1t is holy, and it shall
be holy unto you.
80 Whosoever compounded any
like IT. or whatsoever putteth any of
1t upon a stranger. shall even be cut
OF from his people.
"a Z And the Lord said unto
Moses, Take unto thee sweet spices,
stacte. and onycha, and galbanum;
incense: of each shall there be q
like weight:
IS And thou shalt make it a
perfume. a confection after the art
OF the apothecary, tempered to-
gether. pure and holy:
36 And thou shalt beat some OF
IL very small. and put of II before
the testimony i'm the tabernacle of
the congregation, where I will meet
with thee: 1t shall be unto you most
holy.
81 And as for the perfume which
thou shalt make, ye shall not make
to yourselves according to the COM
position thereof: it shall be unto
thee holy for the Lord.
80 Whosoever shall make like
/
even be cut OF from his people.
CHAPTER 81
/ And the Lord spake unto Moses,
saying.
2 See. I have called by name
Bezaleel the son of Uri. the son of
/ Hur. of the tribe of Judah:
! And l have fiIled him with the
spirit of God, in wisdom, and in I'M
/ Outstanding. and in knowledge, and
in all manner Of workmanship.
! 4 To devise cunning works, TO
work in gold, and in lsilver, and in
brass,
And in cutting stones, to set
them, and in carving of timber. TO
work in all manner of workman
ship.
s And 1, behold, / have given
with him Aholiab. the son of Ahisa-
mach. of the tribe of Dan: and in
the hearts of all that are wise
hearted l have put wisdom, that
they may make all that have COM
manded thee;
The tabernacle Of the conrre-
cation, and the ark of the testi-
mony, and the mercy seat that is
thereupon. and all the furniture of
1
Andthe table and his furni-
ture. and the pure candlestick with
all his furniture, and the altar OF
incense.
9 And the altar of burnt Offering
with all his furniture, and the layer
and his foot.
10 And the clothes of service.
and the holy garments for Aaron
the priest, and the garments of his
sons, to minister in the priests Of
| ffice.
| IL And the amounting oil, ana
! sweet incense for the holy place:
according to all ,that / have conn
manded thee shah they do.
IL 4 And the Lord spake unto
Moses, saying,
Is Speak thou also unto the
children of Israel. saying, Verify
my sabbaths we shall keep: for IL Is
a sign between me and you through
out your generations; that We may
know that I am the Lord that doth
sanctify you.
II Ye shall keep the sabbath
therefore; for 1t is holy unto Won.
Every one that defileth IL shall
surely be put to death: for whoso-
ever doeth any work therein, that
soul shall be cut off from among his
people.
Go be continusd.)
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1920-02-04
The Deadly Seepage.

Twentsx professors ard professors
from the University of Kansas in the last to go into
business to join faculties of institutions slightly higher
salaries Yet recall reading
OF the States for the
And have rather definite memories farm abos
wearing silk shirts and of farm being without one
automobiles.
This Kansas record is unique. typical Steadily but
surely educators joining the ranks of the
and proceeding gain what they contenment in
other vocaons their original favorable
conditions than taxpayers willing o provide.
Grave the immediate
of the universities colleges and schools grow eraver
time generation either will not have
been schooed all been mpcy taught; and this in land
relatively and absolutely the richest world
Europe is wiser than
Germany France and Great Britain show
OF their important than hrnks in the midst
of our plenitude luxury and se-complacency.
Is this doubted Consider the Congress with the schools
of the Capital City of the nation
Among the controversies of the future are those r. h..
started by communities certain they the new
figures
Perhaps District folks world of confidence !, the
Rent Commission satisfactorily row over its own
quarters.
If keep your maid babies saws headline
IL might add lose your apartment follow the
recipe
The capital had earthquake but as much
me news that the gas bill will probably go up
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1920-02-04

Perhaps District folks world of confidence in N.
Rent Commission if satisfactorily the row over its
quarters.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1920-02-04

If keep your maid babies says headline
might add your apartment follow the
recipe.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1920-02-04

The capital had earthquake but jar half as much as
tAe news that the gas bill will probably go up -
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1920-02-04

Among the of future are those to he
figures.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1920-02-04
Round the Town
Jaunting With
Capt. J. Walter Mitchell.
Conserve Potomac Fishes.


The conservation of the food
fishes in the Potomac River Is be-
ing urged by Congressman j.
CHARLES LINTHICUM of Mary
land. as well as several citizens Of
Washington. The Representative
calls attention to the complaints of
fishermen on the upper waters of
the Potomac that their catch is
steadily diminishing year by year.
THE causes for this diminution."
Mr.. Linthicum says, may be read
lily found in the vast network of
seines which extend from the Vir-
ginia shores of the bay athwart
the path usually followed by fish
coming in from the sea, and which
catch and prevent the fish in the
course they would follow up the
river. Several years ago the State
of Virginia licensed approximately
$500 OF these line nets. Today,
with the quantity of fish much re-
duced. Virginia is licensing over
1000 of them. II the fish are for
tunate enough to escape the net
work of seines which impede their
progress, they may have to get by
the many gill and pound nets that
beset them at almost every mile Of
their progress up the bay to the
river"
In sounding a warning, Mr.. Lin
thicum concluded:
I hold that these great, bounti-
full gifts of nature were bestowed
for our use and profit, to be han
died wisely and frugally. We are
at liberty,to use all that we require,
to be handled wisely and frugally,
but beyond that IL is our duty to
preserve the remainder for the
generations to come. We have no
right to reprive those yet unborn
OF their 'birthright as, under our
present practices of extravaganza
and folly. we are doing. The most
shameful rehection we can have up
on our memory. the greatest monu-
ment to our profiigacy we can
erect is that which under our
present policy, we are building in
robbing and ravishing the waters
OF our land of the bountifuI supply
or nsh with which an wise ma
ture has endowed them
Sentence That Didn't Hurt,
The woefu1 effects of imbibing in
present-day decoctions of denatured
and wood alcohol bay rum ana other
decoctions used as substitutes for
whisky was presented to judge ROB-
ERT HARDESON in the Police Court
A woman of intelligence and refine.
ment, about 90 years of age, was
charged with intoxication. It was not
her first offense. She had been be-
fore the court many times, and is
not a stranger to the interior of the
Workhouse for women. She admitted
she had been drinking a mixture OF
denatured alcohol, bay rum and lemon
extract The stuff had almost de.
stroyed her vitality, and it was neces-
sary for a bailiff to assist her into
the dock. She pleaded to be given her
freedom. Looking with pity at the
trembling creature before him, Judge
Hardison said it would be cruel to
turn her loose in the storm Of sleet
and snow then prevailing.
But l won't be severe with YOU" he
said in kindly tones. / will send
you down for twenty days-not for
punishment, but for the hospital treat
men you are SO much in need Of"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1920-02-04
Club Events
FrnternaI Events

Potomac Commandery No. :.
Knights Templar, will have the Red
Cross and the order OF Malta con-
ferred tonight
King solomon Lodge, A. F. & A.
NJ, will have a communication to-
night
Areme Chapter. o. z. S.. will have
a business meeting and social eve
ming tonight. 4
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1920-02-04
Community Center Events

Wilson Normal Community Cen
ter will have classes in domestic
art modern literature, Spanish,
gymnastics and stenogrsphy to-
night
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1920-02-04

The Leap Year husband always
can make use of this handy retort:
Well, why didn't you propose to
him, If he was such a fine bird? ?"
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1920-07-22

Democratic Candidate for Justice of the Supreme Court
He is emineny fitted and qualified for the position Twenty
five of active practice Gan Countys leading public
spirited citizen He has been active standard bearer of
Democracy for quarter of century, but has before
asked public office He has the Endorsement of the people
of his home and adjoining counties His election will be
casting honor upon to whom honor He is recog
nzed of Oklahomas abest lawyers. Help elect
him.
HIS HOME PEOPLE,
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1920-07-22

MILO PICNIC. JULY 90 AND %.
TWO BIG DAYS. PLENTY TO EAT,
PLENTY TO DRINK, PASTIME FOR
THE WORRIED. ARRANGE TRANS
PORTATION WITH THE STEVE'S
BUS & BAGGAGE co. ROUND TRIP
RATES Sl-5O. GET TICKETS AT
| OFFICE. 20.3