The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1920-10-05

jack he's givin' me or else I win get
n Immediately chance 10 see how
like either Jersey City or Toronto,
accordin' 10 which one viii fall for
me.
Well" I says, when he had spoke
his fili. can't help ~ They's no
use bawlin' me out. because that will
get us nowheres. II bawlln' "A guy
out would make him n umpire would
become tho greatest guy In the world
over night You can't get mo sore.
not even II you give me the raAp-
berry off OF the team. My wife don't
want mo TO be no ball player any
ways.'
Tell your wife not 10 worry"
snarls this sarcastical stiff. I'm tell
the world you ain'tr'
Well. Joe. one word led 10 the
other and finiy asked for week
Off 10 rest up and pun myself to
gethcr and Mac says there In no
need for me 10 tear back madly on
| his account and l can take all the
rest Of the weeks which In left II I
wanna and maybe me bcin' away
viii no doubt einch tho pennant for
tho club.
Joe. left him In = wildly rage.
because II I had stayed there an.
other minute I would OF most doubt.
less give him n elout In tho nose or
the like and probly got knocked
kickin' In return.
Well. I suppose you are rearchin'
your brain wondorin' what has hap.
pened 10 me and my worlds famous
invincible piichin' arm. hcyy Mac
give out 10 the papers that I was
laid up on account OF n small bone
snappln' off In my. arm. but that's
tho bunk. Joe. what ! am actually
laid UP with In n broken heart
Jeanne has went bodily into the
moviesi
Joe. that there thing alone would
be more than enough 10 make the
average guy quaff off fiagon OF
oarbolie. but IL amt la OF what has
como TO pass In my formerly happy
and delightful home. am forced
TO ait up III from TO Z every a. m.
and do nothln' ieas than study the
English language which Jeanne
claims l speak now like had picked
II up In or about Afghanistan.. In
the days time when Amt playln'
ball or bein' n arthur for the news.
papers and etc. got TO go TO school
to little guy which was once a
1 professor from one Of them big foo,
ball colleges and .is now tryin' to
make honest Twin For three
dollars tho hour and not a nickel
off for cash. this guy beats into my
head the sensational fact that lt'a all
wrong to nay Il amt got nothin'.~
and tn. like. lie also tells me a iotta
hop about singles and piurals and
wbero does this bird get off 10 teach
me anything about singles when I
led the National league in hittin' for
two successive days at the bexinnln'
Of tho season.
Joe. copied this stun down for
three days like teacher told me and
got many laughs outa IL and then !
thought ! would knock the news.
papers I am . arthur for silly by
shown am English and me was Tar
from strangers. So what do do.
Joe. but write my stuff in The mos,
exauisisely English one day and the
/, spor,inE's editor throws IL into tho
waste basket and says write II over
In my own way. because they have
hired me 10 write slang and no, Eng.
iish and N they want the latteriy
they can Get !, for tis the week.
Joe, most doubtless you will wanna
know how como Jeanne 10 get into
the movies when with this and with
that l am draggin' down enough Jack
10 support starvin' Armenia II A,
nccdst bee not that they over asked
me Also why should she give a
sharks Lex whether or not they In
somethin' seriously wrong with my
grammar when the English she uses
herself In literally mixed with French
and IL the time I gotta guess what
she's sayin'. The answer TO this IA.
Joe. that Jeanne as you might have
suspected In a member OF the female
sex and there's thatl
Well. tho movie thing started
when Jeanne got that job as a extry
f-'N.f 80 Wv va ttp many reel
thrillers called Twas Her Own
FaultT Just what extry lady is I
can't say Mt this date. Joe. but that
fits Jeanne all right which Is not
only somethin' extry but five-star
special. besides.
Well. Joe. when r asked Mac for
the vacation, havin' stood about all
tho worry and etc. a humans bcin'
could without turnin' into a ravin's
maniac. grab hold OF the first train
for New York and In the hurry and
excitement what do I do but forget
to rent a hammock In tho slccpin's
car. with the sensational result that
! gotta sit up all night.
Well. Joe, naturally enough was
In n terrible hunor when l got up
TO my fiat after all these here things
havin' bcfell me. but thought that
the minute | seen Jeanne and my
baby and had a hearts TO hearts talk
ITH Icnn llrl1