The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1920-02-19

but thin that's only natural, Tor he
v granfather had his skull broke wild
: cornet at temperance picnic"
Il The teacher Of history was conduct
: ing a recitation, having the pupils t.
read the text. One Of the pupils read
. William the Conqueror landed in
England in 1866, A. D." "What doe,
A. d. stand fort" asked the teacher
! And the truthful pupil answered, ~
, hardly know unless it means After
Dark
A colored woman with four or five
children were riding on Short Line
train. One of the children was very
cranky, and cried and whimpered all
the time. The conduct Of the child
got on the nerves Of Bill Backes, the
brakeman. LADY, that kid is spoiled, :"
Bill said to the colored woman. mo
he amt" replied the colored woman.
"All culud children smell that way"
! A youngish, ladylike sort of man
was taking examination for life insur-
ance. When the doctor had finished
the physical examination and began
to dig in on family history and person
al habits, he asked. "Have you ever
dissipated any," "Do have to ans
wer that question, doctor!" he re-
joined. EYES," said the doctor. "Well,
then, DOCTOR" he said, an tell the
truth. have. used to chew gum"
"Sneeze correctly" says a learned
member of the medical profession. ado
not say, 'a-choo.' Let the sneezer learn
to say, ada or AIDE" We knew it
would be only question Of time un-
til some reformer attempted to place
his own method Of Interpretation upon
the sneeze. The reason we knew it is |
that the sneeze and sitting cross-leg-
ged are the only expressions Of per-
sonal liberty in which the masses now
are permitted in indulge. There is a
prescribed form for everything else,
enforceable at the point of Jail SEN
tence.
A Duluth pastor makes it point
to welcome any strangers cordially,
and one evening after the completion
of the service he hurried down the
aisle to station himself at the door.
A Swedish girl was one of the strang-
ers in the congregation. She il en-
ployed as domestic in one Of the
homes, and the minister,
noting that she was a stranger,
stretched out his hand. He welcomed
her to the church and expressed the
hope that she would be regular at
'endant. Finally he said that if she
you'd be ut home some evening during
he week he would call. "Tank you,"
he murmured bashfully, "but Ay have
fella."
A lecturer Of wide renown had been
EXPLAINING to his audience the mir
Icles Of the world Of natural history.
1t the conclusion Of his lecture, BEAM
ig down upon his listeners, he con-
escendingly remarked: "Now, if there
any scientific question that my
riends would like to ask, beg of
lem not to hesitate. l shall be only :
20 happy to answer any inquiry in my
over" A dear old lady in specta- re
es at once rose and said: "Why do al
ct leaves kill cockroaches ?" The "
dentist didn't know they did, let ~
one the cause of the phenomenon. o.
ut his reputation was at stake. "Be- "
use, madam he replied, "when a al
'ckroach comes across a wet tea W
at, he says, 'Halloal Here's blan- VII
't!' and wraps himself up in it,
tches cold and dies"
at
He was very keen on his newly pur- tit
ased farm was young Chubson, and In
snted to increase his stock So he ~
ught some pigs before his new sty No
IS quite ready. He went to neigh lai
r and asked his to let the pigs be av,
t in the latter's sty. "I've bought -
. thowth and pigth," he exclaimed. +,
e neighbor wasn't used to Chubson's .
p and scratched his head. 1.-TWO
ousand pigs!" he muttered. "why,
/ sty win only hold half dossn."
on don't understand" said Chubson
ortly, II didn't thay two thouthand
,th. but two thowth and pigth." II
all right" replied the other
Ut you must be crazy" an thay
againl" yelled Chubson in 4 rare.
didn't thay two thouthand pigth,
two thowth and two pigth."
. . q
Two Russians came over to this \
ntry to make their fortunes. They
ded in New York and before thev