The Chattanooga news. [volume] (Chattanooga, Tenn.) 1891-1939, 1920-11-04
Bits ofByplay
BY LUKE McLUKE
Copyright 1870. by
The t:incinnati ENQUIRER.

The Hlms.
On Sunday she has many wilkins.
She goes to church to free them;
She doesn't 20 10 hear the hymns, w
She goes to church 70 see them. -
Paw Knows Everything.
willie--paw. is knowledge powery /.
Paw-lt is unless you get the idea
that you know It all, my son.
Advice.
Your fortune never Will be found
II YOU sit down and shirk;
For opportunity goes round F. ~
Disguised as plain hard work. IN,
Higher Education.
"Education Is necessary 70 success
observed the professor
That's right" agreed the = sport.
Some of the best ball players we have
are college graduates"
A Sad Ending. "
The editor was reading the manu-i
script OF story, A,e
"Ho, hums' sighed the editor. ~
do not have to complete the reading OF
this story to know that 1t is going to
have sad finish.'' M 81
Thereupon he threw the manuscript
into the waste basket.
Betcnai
He passed Jail, and Mr.. Finn
Said "Slr. there is no ooubt
It's better outside. looking in,
Than inside. looking out. "r
Located.
NASHVILLE Tennessean.) \
What has become OF the o. I. woman
who was afraid her children would be
kidnapped by gypsies?--Luke McLuke.
She's an apartment renter and wishes
they had been.
Oh. joy!
Christmas is coming. ana we sup.
pose wen have to doll UP. But what
we started to tell you was that Mrs.
Holiday Wear lives at 10 Atlantic
street. Charleston, y. Z.
Justa Like That!
Gen. John Belli, the Italian diplomat.
tells of overhearing an Italian relating
the story of George Washington to an
other Italian. 1t went like this:
"George-a da Wash choppa down a
tree one-a day. Georges ladder he
come and he say: George-a da Wash.
poppa.' say George-a da Wash. 4 no
can tell-a da lie. | choppa down da
tree OATS all right-a, Georgia. da
WASH, says his ladder. You come-a
down town, an | make-a you prez-a
da United States
Let's co, FelIersl
We are going down to Chattanooga.
Tenn, to e.. Albert Rakestraw.
Famous Steps.
One.
Two.
Door.
- Mother.
False.
Ladder
improving on Luke's stun.
For me there's real bliss in kisses,
And I'll say this: 4
| would rather kiss the Mrs,
Than miss kiss.--B. II. n.
Hooray!
improving on Luke's stun.
Katherine q. Foote. Twenty seventh.
district, has been continued on the pay
roll as katherine Foote Bridge.
Names is Names.
|. Fite lives in Baltimore. Md.
Our Daily Special.
Every Man Has His Followers-..Even
If They Are Only Bill Collectors.
Luke McLuke Says a
A woman may exaggerate orner
things, But 1t Is different with her
age.
Every time Woman reads one of her
husbands love letters she wonders
how old Ananas came to be known as
the CildIilplOI lldEs
A single man irnagines that 1t takes E
two to start an argument. But mar
ried man knows better.
Marriage Is the alarm clock that puts
an end to loves young dreams.
A piece of wrapping paper looks likeF
high class stationery as long as the iet-N
ter he receives contains a check.
A woman has as much of sense OF K
humor as a man. But she Is afraid
that laughing will make her fat. o.
A man never manages to climb SO
high in this world that he gets above
suspicion. NHEN @tv
No mother ever nurses a baby with
more care than man nurses the last
dozen hairs on his dome when he finds
he is almost bald.
They are wearing their skirts high
enough to enable you to see why they
think they have shapely limbs.
A lot of men have kicked themselves
out of good jobs because they get the
idea that no other man could I'LL their
places.
When they are first married she dolls
his silk suspendersA up with bows Of
baby ribbon. But ten years later he
can hold his pants up with piece of
rope for all she cares.
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