davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-02-28
SHC0 p'M AWAY.

When a smooth salesman comes
along 20 sell capital stock in some
corporation that is not yet firmly
established on a dividend paying
basis shoe him off the place. The
chances are nine to one that he will
get an enormous percentage OF all
the money he takes in as commission
for selling the stock. Usually some
plausible excuse Is given for selling
the stock above par or at a premium
so as 10 yield fat bonus for the
salesman and still comply with the
Iowa law which requires the par
value to be invested but even IL the
stock should sell at par only and all
the money actually go into the COM
pany there Is nothing to prevent the
officers employing that salesman at
fine salary to perform some minor
service all at the expense Of stock
holders invested capital regardless of
profit. There Is nothing in law that
compels a, corporation to earn PROFITS
for it's stockholders and there is al
most no legal limit TO the expense a
corporation can incur. That Is why
there is so much easy money taken
from the public by artful statesmen
selling capital stock
! Until a corporation has done its
experimenting, until its business has
been firmly established, until it Is
actually paying dividends the public
had better stay out unless the pur-
chaser personally knows the men be-
hind the enterprise New corpora
tons are succeeding every day altho
only five out Of hundred ever make
profits enough to pay an income tax
and those who invest in the sound
and honest and successful ones make
money but the hazard is so great that
a man has no excuse whatever for
investing in the capital stock of far
off corporations managed by COM
parative strangers.
Depend upon 1t from one who
knows the corporation business, II
profits ever exceed 10 per cent on the
capital invested the insiders will
know it first and they will acquire
the common stock before the out
elders learn what the dividends are
to be- The public will get only the
preferred stock which is limited to I
or per cent. On the other hand Il
earnings are not enough to pay IL
per cent all around the insiders will
unload their common stock and keer
the preferred stock because preferred
dividends are the first to be paid out
Of what Is earned.
| II you must buy capital stock IL
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-02-28

pay envelopes and large deposit en-
tries. No thought IS taken OF the
SHINING OF the bills from the roll OF
one or the consuming checks issued
against the other.
But when the well goes dry the wa
ter will be missed. The waste will
be recalled with lamentations and the
extravaganza will be mourned in
sackcloth and ashes. Those who have
let the opportunities for saving slip
thru their fingers will bemoan and
challenge the fates that left them
stranded OF course high prices
mean larger expenditures for the
necessary things Of life. Against
this there can be no stop check. But
against the increased tastes for ex-
travagance there can he not only a
stop check, but a stop valve. Against
the enlarged desires for waste there
can be a counter balance which
will leave a larger security margin
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-02-28

Of cut prices, but ! want to sho"
how a below cost" sale means pro-
fit to the merchant.
While expenses are more or less
fixed amount--rent, light, heat, taxes
and other items Of expenses are fxed
whatever the sales may be-the per-
centage of expense to sales vary &C
cording to the volume Of sales.
Let me illustrate.
Suppose sales are 100000 and ex-
penses are $4,000. The expenses
equal IS per cent. Follow that?
{ Now, let us suppose sales are 5000.
600 and expenses are $4,000. The
total Of expense is the same, of
course but the percentage Of ex-
pense to sales in only Il X per cent.
Let's go back to the competitor.
II. by his cut price sale he doubles
business during the time Of the sale,
land that Is a moderate assumption
his expenses are not % per cent
the normal percentage, but 12h per
cent.
So, instead Of losing 10 per cent on
all he sells. he actually makes 2h
per cent net profit. and as his sales
are double normal, he makes per
cent on the normal sale average.
know of cases where sales have
increased Ave times over normal
during special sales periods. In such
cases, the actual amount of cash
profit is greater than that made dur
ing the same length of time when
regular prices prevail.
Simple, isn't Il?
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-02-28
rBy Harold Whitehead
HORACE HANDSOME.

Have you ever met Horace!-but
that's foolish question, for. OF
course, you have. Every big bust
ness has a Horace Handsome on its
payroll
Horace is what we may term .
pretty" man. He's the kind Of crea-
ture that fluffy haired, fluffy BRAIN
ed females full for.
He's medium height. slim built
and looks like tailors dummy
(dummys right, all right. Usually
he parts his hair in the center and
never has a single hair out OF place.
He affects a dinky little moustache
with a cute little culey bit at each
end.
You ought to watch him smoke
cigsrets. He's the epitome OF ele-
gsnce. He flicks the ashes with an
air of studied bored grace. Oh, he's
a mammals pet!
Watch him nj his fountain pen.
He wears such a worried and dis
gusted look. Unless he is very care
full he might get a smudge OF ink on
his fingers-those fingers which are
SO lily white and crowned with shin
ing too-much manicured nails.
But Horace may be seen at his best
when giving the girls D. treat. Such
gracious condensation, as he makes
small talk which keeps the young
things a'giggling.
Horace really likes himself. He'll
admit with a smirk that he's a real
devil with the women.
His favorite indoor sport is brag-
ging of the number of girls who fall
for him.
How hate and despise the miser-
able little Sinking weasel who is
prepared to smudge some young
girls name Just to satisfy his inor-
dinate vanity.
Let Horace get amongst a crowd
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-02-28
SCHOOL WAGES.
Waterloo Courier.l

The claim that q school teacher
receives so-and-so per month is de-
ceptive and misleading. Were that
compensation continued thru the full
twelve months it would be quite a
different matter. However, that rate
lasts nine months, after which the
teacher continues to be at the normal
rate Of expense. while receiving moth
ing. In other words. the teacher to
come out even with the world. must
during nine months, save enough to
bridge over the three months wage
less period. Nobody nowadays is
quite satisfied to come out even at
the end of the year.
But it Is, in many instances, at
least, even worse than that. For ex-
ample, in Cedar Rapids. question
naires were sent to teachers and 201
filled them out in detail. The as
number, 165 had been compelled 10
draw on savings to get thru the year.
This seems like terrific indictment
against the school authorities in Ce-
dar Rapids and stamps the teachers
OF that city as Astounding in patriot
ism and patience.
1t Is needless to say that in no 9TH
er vocation in the catalog could there
be found 50 per cent of workers who
actually lost money during the year.
We may be certain that neither
bakers, blacksmiths. machinists,
housemaids. railroad men nor any
body else working for others. put in
years labor and found it necessary
to draw on previous savings TO bal
ance the books. 1t is quite possible
the Cedar Rapids scale of wages Is
far below the average but we doubt
it. As we remarked at the outset.
unless costs Of living materially less
en- before school opens next fall.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-02-28
Ripping Rhymes
By WALT MASON
THE FLU.
By WALT MASON


have the flu
My
of thought wends and busy
useful
bottom Of the strife cannot
think of any can't charged old
sport he'll
court
blue
"erswoosh Kerchoo!
take ther me Of
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-02-28
lowa Newspapers
IF THE WE'LL GOES DRY.
[Sioux City Journal.l

IFJfOuh N1tJ OOUI IItII ]
The poet who wrote "You never
miss the water till the well goes dry"
was a philosopher as well as poet.
His inheritance was from Anacreon
as we'll as from Aristotle. But the
average citizen at this time his mel
ther his philosophy nor his poetry.
He Is cognizant only Of the simple
fact stated. An era of extravaganza
has the country in its grip. Waste is
moro commended than economy.
Pride gets the front seat once occu-
pied by frugality. Riotous reveliny
in easy wealth is national passion.
Money is easy to get and easy to
spend. High prices produce bulky
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-02-28
THE SPIRIT OF THE AGE.
TCedar RAPIDS Republican

[Cedar Rapids Republican,
The other day two men approach
ed the cigar counter in well-known
Iowa hotel. One of them asked for
a particular brand of cigars. "We
have it only in the o5-cent size"
said the girl behind the counter.
That's all right. said the custom
er. Give me a half dozen of them"
He handed one TO his friend, put four
into his pocket and lit the sixth. AS
he watched the smoke of the initial
puff curl up, he said: pretty ex-
pensive, but we only have one life
to live and that may be short Go
to it, say T."
Does this typify the spirit Of this
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-02-28
BANKS AND BOOSTERS.
Hardin County Ledger1

A man named Seeber, who wrecked
a bank down towards Davenport,
has been recommended for a pardon
and 1t is thought the governor will
fix him out all right. OF coure, he
only stole thirty or forty thousand OF
dollars and has served Just a very
short sentence. Had he taken an
apple, a doughnut, or red legged
rooster, he'd get ten years at hard
labor for the crime and no chance at
all to get a pardon. This way, he gets
paid at the rate OF a thousand or two
month. for breaking a bank. No
wonder there is class hatred and the
upper and lower stratas OF societys
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-02-28

-, SomstimAs " fear e dosA IL
y = false philosophy. even " lie end
- the grave; tor. whether we 1--we
individually or not. we 1--we again In
lives made better or worse by our
tnfiusnce Each generation. az burke
put IL ~ link In the chain OF eter-
nal order; and his admoniuon was:
Let Va attest tho coming genera
ton; let us attest the passing gem
GRAFTON. between which. ~ link in the
chain OF eternal order, We stand"
Even this ought 70 cause us pause.
II we are TO take no heed OF anyone
but ourselves. and II We accept the
base philosophy that death ends all.
then perhaps. logically. our appetites
and our passions might be the guide
TO conduct. But what would the
harvest be-? 1t would be q harvest
Of unutterable disaster and woe.
The teaching OF history would
seem to be that we can not be pros
porous and yet keep our virtue-in
other words, that the average person
can not stand prosperity. Quite
likely. that man at the cigar counter
was not even a newly-rich man. He
was probably one OF the many who
are now receiving as compensation
for their daily tasks, more dollars
than they ever received at one time
before. Altho there may not be very
many OF these dollars and sltho each
one IL hardly worth 30 cents In pur-
chasing power. they have intoxicated
their owners and made them act
like fools.
II the spirit Of this spendthrift II
indeed the spirit OF this age. then
we shall simply have to be whipped
with our own rods. We will get
over II, as generations Of men in
other times have gotten over It. by
means OF the bread line and the soup
house. Perhaps the sooner the cure
is applied the better.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-02-28
Answ,rs 20 PrevIous Questions.

1. What bird likes grape Juice?
Our oriole II an insectivorous bird.
but In some localities 1t IL very de-
structive in the August vineyards. It
does not become a fruit-eater like
the robin, but n Juice sucker; II pune
lures the grapes for their unferment-
ed wine. Here we have case OF
modified ana adaptive instinct,
.. What causes certain Attic AMI
mails to turn white In winter?
Apart from the intense cold, the
long Attic nights no doubt have much
to do with the white or Attic ami
mails. A MI. Vernon says. Absence
OF light leads to diminution or even
total abolition OF fermentation, while
It's presence leads to an increase in
some degree proportionate to the in
tensity of the light" When the var
liable northern hare Is removed to q
milder climate. IN the course of few
years IL ceases to turn white in whit
er.
3. What are the peculiar character
istics of the sensitive plant?
I remember the day that flrst made
the acquaintance of the sensitive
plant, shame lady" the natives call
It. I saw ball OF delicate pink
bloom the size of a boys marble,
amid a mass Of small, fine pinnate
leaves by the roadside. plucked
some and saw a sudden change in
the appearance of the leaves; the
moment they were touched they shut
up like book. the two halves hing
ing on the midrib. 1t is its way of
hiding like sentient thing; the
stems drop, the leaves close, but the
pretty flower il unchanged.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-02-28
Tho Thrifty Scot.

For two long years Jock had been
counting Maggie. One evening. after
q silence OF nearly an hour, Maggie
said shyly:
..1'll gle We penny for ye thochts,
Jock" /
"Weel," replied Jock. with sudden
bofdness, Fl was just thtnidn' hoo
fine 1t wud be II we were to gle me
bit kissie."
She complied demurely, and again
there was long silence, until Mag
gle tinidly ventured: What are We
thinlin' about moo, Jock? Anthem
ma, ma. lassie," was the reply. 4
was just thinlsin' that 1t was ABBOTT
time We were payin' me that penny
for ma thochts. z. The Taller.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-02-28
1obnBurrouSbs
3 Nss''sss.:

I. What is the hau-treer
.. What are the different charac-
teristics In the necks Of birds that
hop and birds that walk?
3. How do Eskimo women In AL
a1ka carry their babies7
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-02-28
.AlSDY DIRECTORY
-0F TIVE -
MASONIC TEMPLE


& MARSHALL LODGE NO. los A.
a. NJ, Monday March !. ut 7
'clvck sharp. Third degree. 9. Q.
jennings. w. NJ; John w. Wells. 500
sstary.
sroNrr CHAPTER. No. "a. r. A.
a., Monday. Feb. rs, 1880 Business
'onvocation. Frank r. Nokes. II. ~
ohm w. Wells. secretary.
KING SOLOMON COUNCIL No.
.. stated assembly Monday, Feb. 49,
BUSINESS session. o. c. Fox. master:
Ohm w. Wells. recorder.
CoNc1AvE ST. ALDERMAN conf
dANDERY No. 80 X. T., Tuesday
Sarch ., 1880 o'clock. The Temple
s1yde Fl. stewart, commander; John
". Wells. recorder.
CENTRAL CHAPTER No. 81 q. "
l. Special meeting Monday, Marcn
q. School OF instruction nj 1880
Initiation at 1880 dinner at $50, Mrs
". J. Richards. w. NJ; Mrs. Archer
Walton, secretary.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-02-28

than would be possible II waste Is
made a greater virtue than saving.
When the we'll runs dry these facts
will be appreciated.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-02-28
IOWA OPINION AND NOTES.

The Hampton Chronicle is 'fn IA
vor of a special session for the re-
vision of the code. It certainly needs
revising and everybody acquainted
with the facts knows that it will be
one Of the best investments the state
the other three proposition"
brought forth at this time by a Des
Moines paper. They can all wait
without any injury to either cause.
A special session at this time for
any other purpose except the revi-
sion of the code will not be pay
ing investment for the state, because
there is no demand for it and no
need for 1t now
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-02-28
The Windmill

MARY. EUCLID AND THADDEU6-
Miss Mary Adelina Moore
Was very easy on the eyes.
She d ardent suitors by the score
Who oourted her with gusty signs.
Tho Mary beamed upon them all
1t seemed to some OF us that she
Would spend on Euclid Alphonse
Small
Her smiles with greatest frequency.
Now Thaddeus Elijah Stone,
A wicked banker, chanced to meet
Miss Moore and felt he'd like to
A wife SO young and fresh and
sweet.
Industrious Euclid spent his days
At clerlting In hardware shop
And longed and plotted for raise
So that the question he might pop.
The raise came In year or two
And 1t was rumored IN the store
That Euclid Alphonse now was due
TO marry merry Mary Moore.
He gave TO her his heart and hand
One half his humble weekly pay.
A ring, q chaste and golden band.
A picture titled, Love in May"
The bans-whatever they may be-
Were Just about to be proclaimed
When 4. J. Stone dropped in to So
Miss Moore ana to her thus ex-
claimed:
what, wed with that poor concerts
head
When I my wealth cast at your feet!
urge you marry me instead
For can buy you food to eat
'Tll give you, too, a limousine
My home ancestral on the hill,
A diamond that would grace a queen
My word to pay your every bill"
In ecstasy did Mary Moore
Accept the bankers sordid bid
And cast poor trusting Euclid oerf
You bet your last red cent she did.
II people were only as interested in
the league of nations as they arc in
the National league!
When you've Just finished shovel
ing off your front walk and glance
up to see darkening sky-then you
realize how true 1t is that pride
goeth before q snowfall.
NATURE, VAIN OLD DAME!
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-02-28

Impurities give to quartz Its dis
tinctiye and often beautiful colorings
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-02-28

The influence OF the Phrygian reli-
gion is traceable to Greek mythology.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-02-28
THEM WAS THE DAYS.

If you didn't have high fever
with 1t, the only remedy they gave
you was an extra handkerchief and
let nature take its course. You had
the "snuff1es," that was all.
But If the cold got onto your
chest" more attention and most Of it
unwelcome, was paid to you. Mother
and grandma didn't shrek, "the
flu!" and send for specialist and a
trained nurse. No, sir, they put you
thru q course of sweats and .d;ench-
ing that would discourage any germ
less robust than Asfatic cholera or
bubonic plague. ~
Generally the treatment began
with dose of castor OIL "Hor still
Elmer. Pinch your nose tight and
you won't taste 1t hardly at all.
There! Now there amt bit Of use
cryin'. Eat this piece Of cake to
take the taste out"
Then they heated a boiler of water
and stirred mustard into it. When
1t had reached the boiling point they
poured 1t into a tub in the bedroom
and thrust you in. You hollered and
turned the color of a well boiled
lobster. It didn't make a mite of
difference. You stayed there until
you felt that you were cooked clear
thru to the bone.
They drew you forth then and put
you to bed. with a hot water bottle
at your feet, q foot of covers over
you and mustard plaster on your
chest
81 know 1t smarts, Elmer, but it's
dom you good. It's DRAWN the
cold out of your chest. S'pose it
does hurt a little? My land, you
want TO get well, don't your"
Before most of the meat had been
eaten away off your chest. they gen.
orally removed the plaster and placed
a square Of flannel in its place. Then
they gave you a hot lemonade, which
would not have been SO bad II they
hadn't made 1t "sour to cut the
phlegm." After that they piled more
covers on you and left you to stew
in your own juice. You did, and
rose next morning white and limp
and feeble and Goddess.
Flu! Wisht my grandmother could
nave naQ a CnduCe AT II.
Folks in the old days made dying
so uncomfortable it's no wonder
most Of us lived.
ZOO LYRIC.
The poor giraffe ! look upon
In spirit far from gay
With collars at their present price
just think what he must pay!
Poverty has its compensations
after all. We appreciate that every
time we pick up paper and see the
price Of that stock we wished we
could buy last year.
And think, If we were able to af-
ford an automobile what we'd have
to pay for tires and gas.
Not to mention the price we'd have
| to pay for a butler.
II we had money, the cost Of the
things we'd have to have would keep
US as poor as we are now.
r. +. ".
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-02-28

Covers Of old Persian manuscripts
are made of shagreen,, or sharkskin.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-02-28
Commercial Wood.

COMMERCIAL "o0d.
Can you tell me what Is the COM
monest commercial wood grown In
the United States? Also, which
state produces the most commercial
lumber?
Yellow pine. There Is more than
twice as much yellow pine as any
other wood. The state OF Washington
produces the most lumb
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-02-28
NATURE. VAIN OLD DAME!

NAL oNG<y VAIN Ol<D NAm|'
1t may not be altogether stupidity
which leads the ostrich to bury her
head In the sand at the approach of
a stranger. After all, she elevates
her spring millinsry and judging
from all we have observed of ostrich
anatomy, that Is her best feature.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-02-28

many classes Will be teacherless, I'M
less compensations take an upward
slant.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-02-28

The Cedar Rapids Republican as
serts: THE fact is. the government
has made a mess of practically
everything it has undertaken to
manage. It wrecked the rural mail
service of this state with delibera-
ton"
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-02-28

Ravens have been known to attack
lambs.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-02-28

If we had money, the cost Of the
things we'd have to have would keep
us as poor as we are now.
F. E. ".
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-02-28
THE BUSINESS DOCTOR

OF men and he's a fawning pup. He
wants to be accepted ~ one OF the
crowd but--he's merely an unwsl-
come intruder and would know Il
were he not so heavily coated with
self satisfaction
Horace never takes real mans
Job. His idea Of = perfect Job - as
sistant to q milliner or some such
silk-lined job.
or course. he doesn't make much
money-but then. hos got . perfect
duck OF a Job--and some day no ex-
poets his fatal beauty and fascinat-
ing ways to land an heiress at his
feet.
Maybe he's a fling clerk or works
on sales ledger r to X. Both good Jobs
but his very manner sucks the man
llness from them.
Don't waste time with Horace
he'll do all the time wasting himself
but when he begin to talk about
girls put your flst In your hand ready
for use at the nrst innuendo.
Stolen Fruit.
From New England Hardware News,
Boston, Mass:
The good Lord understood us when
He sent us down to earth,
He knew our need for laughter ana
for happy signs Of mirth;
He knew we couldn't stand It to be
solemn all the while,
But must share our Joy with others
so He taught us how to smile,
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-02-28

Not to mention the price we'd have
to pay for a butter.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-02-28

And think, If we were able to af-
ford an automobile what we'd have
to pay for tires and gas.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-02-28

1.-THE nature Of the opposition" Ito
the Cumnins' bilD is the best evil
dence to the Sac Sun that "the mea-
sure contains features which are
likely to provide. for the public, sat
isfactory operation of the railways
by their owners"