davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-09-28
LIKE M,LuKE SAYS

Other hunters may have to observe a Closed Season. But the Office Hunter never let's up.
 Old Mother Volstead is certainly hav- ing a hard time trying to wean the American baby away from his Bottle
 Any wife can tell you that man seems to think that it is a Penltentiary Offense to use Common Sense.
 Our idea of Fifty-Fifty is when a Peroxide Blonde marries a man who uses a brunette hair dye.
 As we understand Table Etiquette it is permissible to pick your teeth at the Festive Board as long as you have six or eight diamond rings on your fingers. And. talking about Table Etiquette. have you ever noticed the guy with the walrus mustache who makes bath tub out of his finger bowl. The Cost of Living has tempted lots of people to throw Dog Buttons out in the yard and then pray that the Stork will swallow few of them. 1 When he is first married he thinks that she has class enough to tell any Vassar graduate where to get off But | q month or two later it jars him to hear l hef tell him to go and wash them feet"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-09-28

arguing about it, Canada loaned the province $25,O00,o00 for house baild- ing. The loans were made through building and loan associations agree ing to erect homes at GiSidend profit no; exceeding per cert.
 Canada appears to be reacy to do ft,; Canada according to the needs of Canada now. All her methods may not be adaptable to the Unite,. States and some we might rot wish to copy, but it is not amiss to look across the border and know what our neighbors are doing.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-09-28
AN ECHO OF THE PAST

is asserted. are now ejecting farmer
 tenants from their long titled lands ''to their utter ruin." as the story goes.
 And the tenants have petitioned the
 Spanish government to make the pres-
 eDt duke '-renounce his property righta
 in favor of the government and leave
 them unmolested."
 But they say the duke is made of ths
 same mettle as his Waterloo ancesto,
 and it would be hard work to .'pry hin loose. even if the Spanish govern ment should attempt it. <. But the quarrel of the duke \ tenants marking back, as it does, events that remade the history Europe. makes it seem but step to great ones of the past--to the ba of Napoleon's marshals in Spaii Wellington, dictating his dispatches the Waterloo victory, and after thal the throneless emperor in hiding and then on the lone way to St. Helena! In the present instance 1t is a mod- ern battle for bread amid scenes with historic landmarks.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-09-28

ur t,+le of an article in the
 II American Machinist. Why
 O workr' affects one much as would the questions. why eatr Why weather. why sleep?"
 The answer is too easy. In the i'rs' n,ace we work because we have 'o' rn. univArsality of that necessity IS ,nressive. In the long history Of the san race there has never been day when it's existence was not suppor'eo hv toil. nor a place in which. in one or .nothsr form, exertion was not impera- tive for the maintenance of life. Tn .r. .weat of thy brow shall thou eat thx bread until thou return to the earth.y is the inviolable law of exis- ,ence. only this hard and incessant foil stands between the millions or .arth.s inhabitants and their extinc- tion in . few short days, at least. And this incessant toll must be the inexora- a- ble condition of existence in the fu- ture as in the present or the past. The possibility of accommodating supply of food and clothing to support the race in idleness is pipe dream The world never will become cold storage plant.
 In -the next place. we work because our efforts enlarge our lives. Only the most primitive peoples and the most degraded individuals are content with efforts which merely supply the de mands of an animal existence. We work to acquire the resources for travel. for society. for culture: to ovsr- come or-s limitations. to extend ouI intellsctu horizons. to gratify oul tastes. In tA her respect do we show ourselves | superior to the lowe, orders more by the fact that V do more wori~ sys have to-~hics
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-09-28
Knows How to Care for Canadians

OMETIME ago plans were for
 mulated to grant bonus to ore bed in the Dominion of Canada in
 pr to promote the Canadian steel
 lstry and render it independent of bortations from the United States. nadians did not object. On the ntrary, the measure, at last report, kd smooth sailing.
 Canada has never desired objection |ole aliens. Canada has translated Ter wish into action. For generations le password of the immigrant knock ng at the door of Canada has been rdividual fitness sufficiently estah- pshed to meet rigorous requirements. Canada leased some wood pulp ands to Americans, but soon there after, in~order to protect her paper |ndXstry, she forbade the exportat:sn { wood except in manufactured form. be purchasers had the wood but uld not use it in their own p4per Els.
 following the war canada faced
 housing problem the same az :he tied States. While We have been
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-09-28

From the Atlanta Constitution. TN the days when the old Duke or II Wellington had been showered N with money and titles, as the VIC 4o- of waterloo and the hero or the Paninsular war, Byron addressed these lines to him
 .. l. Now go. and dine from ott the
 plate ..a presented by the Prince or the Brazils. Ard send the sentinel before your gate A slice or two from your luxurlous
 meals! a,, He served. but has not fared so "eii
 of late; s Some hunger, too. they say the peo-
 pie feels; rhare is no doubt that you deserve
 your ration;
 Hut pray, give back little 10 the
 nation!'
 Hut the conqueror of Napoleon was not of the give-back kind, and the snanish estates with which he was re- warded for his services in that coun- trv were handed down to the present Duke of Wellington. whose stewards. IL
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-09-28
MOVIE IMMORTALITY

satiric. derisory manner. But 1t is not the least of Moliere's manifold claims to good sense that he steadily, pASDis- tently and definitely fefused = write for the movies. Yet in spiA of him. and of all his tribe, the aforesaid romance remains. When. we are under its spell we are, as MT. Griffith savage 1y denounces us for being, at the mep tai age of about nine years," But. not even the rare furies of his artistic con science can shame us. or abate one jot of the joy of romance. After the bat tie of Jutland. the cabin boy of one of his Majesty's battleships was dis covered in his bunk, his eyes popping out over the pages of sea tale by Captain Marryat. He had been reading for hours, oblivious to the greatest sea fight of the greatest of all wars. Dull souls laugh at him or think him cheated by fate. But who with hea { for the eternal entertainments of ro- nance would not give a dozen Jutlands, with their limited visibility and ab- sence of all climax, to feel again the thrill of high, decisive adventure a | the mental age of nine?
 It is true that even in the tolerant halls of the movie the Pollyanna school is no longer popular. From time to time of late loud cries have bee emitted for stronger meat for nor novel and decisive punch. In it's com : para lively humble sphere, even TO- nance has requirements that are rigorous. The fact may or may not be pertinent, but while MT. Griffith was delivering these fulminations<fr from the artistic soul within him he, wyss en- gagged in rehearsing the film version of Way Down East"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-09-28
Has Good Record

q am heartily in favcor of athletics in our colleges" said pr. J. D. Hea- cock" and am glad that after Towards S successful season the past term that the trustees have been able to secure as an instructor a young Virginian, one of the most noted athletes in the coun- try, for while student in the Uni- versity of Maine he was considered the greatest star in all three of the college sports, football, baseball and basket ball. He was a coach in Randolph Ma con College last year. having been i'm structed by Yale, Harvard and Dart mouth coaches. and the teams trained by him have many triumphs to their credit, winning several championships While working in New York a few years ago he refereed at Cornell and Syracuse universities for two years Good, clean sport makes for fine col lege spirit and should be encouraged not only from the standpoint of health, but as matter of ingraining into the student body as well as in the members of the various teams the value of team work and fair play"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-09-28
# 4 #
Cox Friendly
 kn Travelling Salesmen

LHE AGE-HERALD recently com
 mented on the tactics of tie
 1blican campaign committee Tn inc to prejudice the traveling esmAn of America against Gov ,or dox. An editorial taken from
 filJs of the Dayton News, which o,l tained many offensive and unjust Hta< end hts regarding travelling sales md1. WI hs sent out by the committee |hldng Fith a complimentary telegram |wttter by Senator Harding.
 ht ar bears that as soon as the mat wa brought to his attention, Gov
 Box made an explanation which
 him of all blame. The edl- was written, or authorized, by his managing editor during his ab- Eence. Governor Cox ordered re- traction to be made the following day. This was done and the managing edi- tor resigned.
 These facts, of course. were not re- ferred to in the republican prora- |ganda sent broadcast throughout the Eountry. The persons who provided he committee with the editorial i'll uestion doubtless knew that re- \act.cn had been promptly made and et Governor Cox was not person. ytsponsible for the uncalled for tack on the usefulness and intell;- nee oi travelling salesmen. But 1t $ not tfe policy of those who aght to defame Governor Cox to ve him a square deal.
 It seems to have been case where employe vented his spleen for some 1for fancied grievance, contrary
 he policy of the paper and its fisher. Such episodes are not un- 1(non in newspaper circles.
 overnor Cox has vindicated himself t it is to be regretted that he did not hke his explanation sooner. The de- y may have been due to the stress campaigning or the fact that he
 not informed of what was being
 by the republican campaign con-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-09-28
Saw the Wreck

When I reached New York all of the debris and wreckage from the bomb ex- plosion in Wall street had been re- of the damage that the explosion did,'' said Dr. N. A. Barrett, president of the city commission Ali of the windows around had been boarded up because the glass was broken out and there were great holes as large as mans body chipped out of the solid stone as far as twenty feet up on the buildings close about the spot. The broken, stone gave evidence of the tremendous force with which the fragments of the bomb struck the buildings"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-09-28
Goat,s House for Wool

T have been mistaken for many things in my life, but never for a boot legger until Sunday afternoon" said N. L. Pierce, federal prohibition en- forcement agent in charge of raiding in Alabama.
 Tt happened in this manner: l was out in an automobile which we had re- gently confiscated when, the owner was arrested for transporting liquor. We passed negro and he recognized the car and stopped us. Hes asked where the owner was and l told him he was at home. Then he thought was his part. ner and asked me to bring him five gal Ions of white lightning l told him I would do so for s15 gallon, but he stated 1 was charging him too much and my partner had been letting him have 1t for s1O. l suppose he is wait ing for me to bring the liquor, but when he sees me again he most likely will be on his way to jail"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-09-28
Loss of Life and
 Properly by Fire

R1 HE. appalling loss of life and
 ll property by fire in the United States is traceable primarily to care lessnass in the kitchen and careless ness among smokers.
 The Nations Business, trust worthy periodical, has gathered inn portant facts about the fires through. out the country which shows fire every few minutes; loss of S0,00C lives a. year; a fire loss of $500, ,0O0,-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-09-28
WHY WORK?

they never do. An animal working overtime would be a prodigy.
 In the third place, we work because we like to. Not everybody does. In proportion as men descend in the scale of intelligence and morality they abhol exertion- But, as they rise, the joy O. putting forth effort grows. All san beings like their daily tasks. be they of brain or hand; be they easy or hard: be they drudgery, even. They live e~ create. they like to restore. to produce. to adorn. to be useful. To work is to be happy; to put forth effort for the public veal is to perform a religious service. Laborare est orare; to labor is to pray. ''Tne modern majesty con sists in work"
 The answer to the conundrum, why workr' is too obvious. Give us some thing more obscure.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-09-28
TURKISH HUMOR

From the St. Paul Pioneer Press. The Turks have not been credited with much of sense of hunor, but their promise to pay interest on their oid debts--in Turkish paper money will make everybody laugh except those
 who made the loans
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-09-28
Fuel Administrator
 Will Solve the Problem

@ OVERNOR KILBY'S plan to ap- .Gl point fuel administrator for Alabama deserves favorable consider ation from the state legislature. AS an emergency measure it is probably the best that could be devised. It would be folly for the people of Ala bama to suffer from coal famine this winter when there are millions Of tons in the earth at their very doors.
 Governor Kilby has proved himself a courageous executive on more occG- sions than one. He took prompt steps to protect the public from physical suffering and economic disaster. The coal operators have agreed to abide by the decisions of the fuel adminis- trator who will be empowered to al- locate coal for domestic and industrial use. A reasonable profit will be as- sured the operators and the consum CT will not be charged an exorbitant price.
 The fuel administrator will have nothing to do with the controversy between the miners and operators of the Alabama coal fields. It will be his duty to obtain, as far as possible, an equable distribution of fuel. A similar plan was followed by the na- tional government during the war. Alabama faces a condition of affairs on smaller scale like that which confronted America when we were at war with Germany.
 If the governor is empowered to appoint a fuel administrator, he will name man fully capable of discharg- ing his duties with intelligence and fairness. It is reported that he al- ready has such man in view for the place.
 The coal operators have confidence in Governor Kilby and the people of Alabama have confidence in him. It is apparent that he will do everything in his power for the public welfare without working undue hardship on any class of business or industry.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-09-28
ODE TO SOLITUDE

By Alexander Pope. Happy the man whose wish and care Jew paternal acres bound. Content to breathe his native air In his own ground. Whose herds with milk. whose fields
 with bread,
 Whose flocks supply him with attire; Whose trees in summer yield biu
 shade,
 In winter fire. Blest who can unconcern'd.y find Hours, days and years giiae sof
 away; In health of body, peace of r.ui. Quiet by day. Sound sleep by night. study sAd cas 2. Together mkt. sweet rec reatier; And innocence, which most aoti' With medication. Thus let me live. unSeen, | Thus. unlamented, let Steal from the world. and nt
 Tell wbAr~ lie
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-09-28
SMOKERS HEAD THE LIST

From the Baltimore American In the five billions spent on luxuries
 against them of extravaganza in the
 by the American people, the smokers Head, with the theatregoers coming next. according to official figures. The candy
 consumers are lower in the line, which gives the fair sex the opportunity to hurl back the favorite accusations teeth of the sterner sex.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-09-28
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
 AND ELSEWHERE
Big Thing for Birmingham

The Jefferson County bank deal is the best thing that has occurred in Birmingham in many day" said W. N Malone. T am more or less familiar with the matter, and I am of the opinion that the institution wlich the purchasers plan to organize will have a far-reaching effect not only in this im- mediate district but in the entire south. It is going to bring elastic money to this section and make it more feasible to secure loans on desirable property.
 Sorry to say that I have just wis., tied my Mississippi plantation only to discover while there that the boil weevils had gotten into my cotton while the price was also going down. How ever, the corn crop is fine''
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-09-28
EXAGGERATED ECO

EXAGGERATED EGO Every voter ought to contribute to his party's campaign fund" remarked the fussy citizen.
 T won't dispute that point" said Squire Witherbee, but couldn't afford to contribute but s2.5o this year an it
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-09-28
A WORLD SHORTAGE OF STEEL

From the New York Times.
 The fact that exports of steel and
 steel products are constantly increasing is tangible evidence that there is d
 shortage of wide proportions in this field of industry. Should the American
 market become demoralized, with no &C., tive demand for steel, it is therefore probable that increasingly large allot-
 ments of steel would be made to foreign lconsumers, many of whom are anxiously awaiting fulfillment of their orders. be spite what are called high steel prices
 here, the quotations are actually low as compared with the figures which for | eign manufacturers are able to name. 1 The differential of low labor costs which in years gone by worked to the 1 advantage of the European manufac- ! turers no longer exists.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-09-28
THICK COAT

THICK COAT i. "who is that little fellow dancing with Miss Heftun?"
 "Snipperton."
 "They remind me of tug towing battleship." "Yes, and in this case the battleship has great deal of war paint on.'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-09-28

AN OLD TRICK The vaudeville prima donna Sings naughty song of France, Next slips into colleen's clothes And biithely takes a chance With the brogue of good old Erin, And gets prolonged applause Right then we know what's coming A breathless little pause, And forth she flashes gaily. In Stars and Strips bedight, And everyone's expected
 To applaud with all his might.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-09-28
Tactics of Outsiders

T notice one of the foreign asi- tators in the miners strike is quoted as saying that if they had been allowed to hold their Sunday meetings several big mines would have been closed down. said John N Vincent of the Interstate Fuel Company.
 This reveals the whole attitude Of these outsiders who have come here to cause trouble. Instead of wanting 10 help in getting this winters coal sup ply they want to demoralize every thing. They want to close down ali the mines, stop our industries and bring depression to prosperous district They would like to see the whole dis trict paralyZed.
 Tt is gratifying to know, however that they can't succeed"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-09-28
CUE FOR PATHos

CUE FOR PATHOS "De judge said I wuz de smartest crook he ever saw"
 Oats quite compliment. Bill Did yer thank him?
 'wot! An spill de beans? wiped me eyes an said wuz glad me poor old mudder wasn't there to hear wot he said about her boy"
 NOT CONSTRUCTIVE There came a very learned wight Who walked amid the throng And cried aloud, with all his might, That everything was wrong. "Oh, what, sir, is your remedy? Inquired man of tact; Go, way he said. don't bother me I merely state the fact" PAUL COOK
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-09-28
MORNING PRAYER

MORNING PRAYER
 nd when I seek thee in distant es. teach me to know that u"o" near. for can never find thee III, world until l find thee hfs' h,ir my heart. Amen.---M. ,. b.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-09-28
Bright Side of
 Price Reductions


 M RICE reductions had to come. E The people beneath the pyra- mid had stepped from under. The manufacturers at the peak had either to trim or topple. They decided to trim. That was wise.
 There is no cause for alarm. The Secretary of Commerce, with what seems full justification for the state ment, says, "The people have the money and are willing to spend it, but they have reached the place where they are demanding full value for the money they spend"
 The corollary of this statement is presented by the Secretary of Com merce in these words: Production will not be affected and buying will be stimulated by the lower prices"
 In a word, the people, although they have the money to buy, had quit buy because they could not see their moneys worth. Give them heir moneys worth and they will buy again. They will build real homes instead of beginning homes. They will purchase automobiles instead of cancelling orders for them as has been the vogue the past several months.
 Merchants cancelled orders fol goods bought at prevailing prices be- cause they could not sell them. Man, ufactusers began to find an accuinu lation cf stocks in their warehouses Wise men like Wood of the wooler trade, and Ford of the automobile business, have gathered a goodl, company about them in the very re cent past. More are falling in line.
 It is all a matter of doing bushes. on closer margin, but doing husi ness still; plenty of it, much nor, of it. That is far from being. hat situation.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-09-28

4. courage, then! what cannot pc avoided.
 childish weakness to lament. or ,r --Hcnry VI.
 x < #
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-09-28
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES

gave 5 actin as if he had twice as m at stake as l have"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-09-28

AT THE POLITICAL RALLY Whats he sayin', Hiram?'' "Blest if I knowr
 That's tn Hon. snortsworthy. ain't it?"
 Nope. That's tn Hon. Biffinghurst of tn opposition
 "Drat th' luck! I've been cheerin' him for half an hour.'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-09-28

DOESN'T SEEM NATURAL From the Cincinnati Enquirer. Having Mexico. Bryan and HI S5nns1A all quiet at the same time makes 0 uneasy.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-09-28

HEAD OF THE FAMILY T understand Mir. Wopping and Mrs. Wopping will vote for the same candi- dates"
 T could have told you that long ago." You enjoy their confidence?" No, but I can see that Mrs. Wopping has a firm jaw and MT. Wopping has receding chin"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-09-28
A PRIZE

Mrs. Botlxins has been a widow barely year, but she has already received half dozen offers of marriage
 She isn't so handsome How do you account for that?'
 The late Mir. Botkins was cut off in the prime of his drinking and left a well-stocked cellar"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-09-28

when political prophet requires more than column of solid six-point (nonpareiD to tell why his favorite candidate is going to be elected. the chances are he's putting in few pro- visos to fall back on if his candidate is defeated
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-09-28

Wilton Lackaye, the actor. says John McGraw knocked him down in the Nc Graw home when he put out his hand to shake hands. If this sort of thinr keeps up it. may be necessary to de- port "Jawn."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-09-28

A dispatch from Geneva says the peo- pie of Martigny are forced to drink wine and beer because the town water works were washed away. Shed tear II you can-for the unfortunate peo- ple of Martionv
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-09-28

Judging from a recent photograph, the. alleged executioner of the Roman offs doesn't wear collar and keeps the spoon in a cup while he drinks out of it. We might have known he was that kind of person
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-09-28

lterAd at the Birming ham, Ala, office as second class matter under
 of Congress March $. 1879.