South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1920-10-24
SOLOMON
81 Us
-
Being Confessions
Of Wife 7OOth
BY Helen Rowland

How long. Oh thou Foolish one.
wiz thou hearken unto the Rro-
mldes and their platitudes concern
ms the duties OF wife?
For, have I not instructed thee
that poets are born. but that .-
Husband is MADE. Yea. and made
by the hand OF woman.
10. Man IS but the clay Nth
which a woman moldeth 20 her own
Ideal and on which a wife putta-1
the finishing touches" And a wise
woman can make OF her Husband
Whatsoever she desireth. but a fool
ish one SPOILETH him first. ana
hereafter seeketh 10 "remooeI'
him.
Behold them II thou MUST rui,
a perfectly good husband. there la
seven ways IN which 20 spoil him
beyond all repair
10, II thou wouldst transform a,
ldealist into n lump OF protopIasr1
ana a senumentalist into a stone 7
charge thee hang upon his nec,s.
ana cover hirl with kisses and ca
resses and "Do-yOu-love-me and
tears and Jealousies. until he srveth
n n ms heart I am SICK OF love-
lea' STUFF him with devotioni
II thou wouldst turn cou-tie-
ana gentleman into a boor.
cnarge thee always accord him tho
MOSI comfortable chair within tho
mouse and the tenderest portion OF
the steak. and the frst-readin- -
the newspaper Yea, wait upon him
and pick up Whatsoever ne dror-
peth; permit him 10 sit when thou
standest, 10 interrupt when tbou
speakest, TO walk two feet ahead ~
thee' and 10 kiss thee with his hat
on. '''-1
II thou wouldst change an Adorig
INTO an elephant. and a Job into =
9ySpepuc. / charge thee feed him.
ca COOK thy fingers 20 crisps for
tne deligh. OF his palate. cater 20
MS appetite, and fiji him with rara
and tempting viands. until his 600
is stepped in the flesh-pots of d.
mesucity, and his vanity is dead
ened
II thou wouldst transform n mod
est man into a peacock. I charre
the cover him with natterv ami
sing his praises, morning. noon. and
night until he beEinneth 10 thin(
in ms heart that Solomon and
Apollo and Napoleon in all tbei~
glory were but "also-rans'' beside
him
II thou wOuldst turn a brave man
INTO coward and an honest man
into a hypocrite. I charge thee. trust
him not; but suspect him. accuse
MIN, and question him. without
ceaslng For. II fibbing IS the price
OF PEACE. ne viii soon learn the
gentle art or lying, and the TRUTH
viii not be in him
II thou wouldst transform an on
umist into a cynic. / charge thee
ouily him and nag him. I'm his
mornings with brainstorms. and hss
evenings with cross examinations
and recriminauons until he vearr-
elh lot another war, that he may
enjoy the quiet OF the trenches.
II thou wouldst transform a toiler
into sloth, a busy bee into q drone
ana a Regular Man" into a parlor-
decoration, 1 charge thee lift an tbv
burdens from his shoulders. ana
make his way through life a path ~
NelFet. Yea, get myself a JOR.
mat he may be independent. Thus
shalt thou cease 10 De his Rib and
become his Backbonel
Neiliy' verify. ninety-and- nine
men out OF an hundred are good
material" wherefrom "a wise wife
may fashion perfect husband.
But she that maketh life too Bit
ter or too sweet. too easy or too
hard for him. ruineth her material
Thus, are ninety-and-nine bus-
bands out Of an hundred SPOILED
In the making"
Copyright 1920.