The news scimitar. (Memphis, Tenn.) 1907-1926, 1920-02-27
The Passing Of "Archy''

bN ~ tlIdHkt GOllIlutICe INC CdulHet
row az the White House was scarcely
past the first-pase stage when similar
clash happened in the office OF the New
York Evening sun, which paper, it
happens, had viewed the White House
trouble with something akin 10 apnuse-
ment The sun ruction was a straight
outbreak between Don Marquis, editor
OF the sun Dial column, and Arehy, the
office coekroach, who has long been
contributor TO the column. Archy is
handicapped in typewriting because he
is not strong enough 10 use the shift
Key to capitalize and punctuate, but
even at that he fights back manfully in
the correspondence leading up to his
resignation;
NY Dear Arehy; Is II true as have
been told that you have been writing on
my typewriter during my frequent alb
sences from the Evening sun office, and
that what you have written has been
printed in the sun Dial?
| attention TO considerations that do not
care to dwell upon, or TO have others
dwell upon. until learn from you your.
self that this Is the fact as am sure
that II Is, What these considerations
are leave 70 the conjeotures OF your
guilty conscience, Cordially ana sin
The EDITOR OF THE SUN DIAL.
dear boss it is true that frequently
during your long ana ineXplicable alb
sence from the evening sun have filled
the sun dial column for YOU TO the best
OF my ability
thought you knew all the time that
was writing on your typewriter
| thought you knew that YOU were
printing In the sun dial what l was
writing
vo6 5hS9 ,S,tS you were printing it because
and do not now see how you could
have printed II without knowing that
you were printing II
am until YOU request my resisna-
ton in unequivoeal terms faithfully
yours archy.
Ny Dear Arehy; am very much dis.
appointed by our letter in reply to mine
asking about your so. calltd contrihu-
tons to the sun Dial.
OF course l did not know YOU we're
writing for the Sun Dial, As you should
he very well aware | seldom know who
is writing for the sun Dial. l regard
your assumption that ! know who Is
writing for the sun Dial in my absences
as a criticism OF my methods of con-
quoting the column that must inevitably
play into the hands OF the sun .Diars
enemies both at home and abroad; and
II were not the most lenient Of alb
solute rulers ! should at once reward
your treachery by having YOU deported
on the next soviet ark,
May | not remind YOU, Mr.. Archy,
that when am absent from my office
without leave the Sun Dial Is produced
automatically, by divine guidance. and
that ! brook no interference with this
method on the part Of the creeping
things and undtrinss who sometimes
impudently call themselves my con-
tribut0rsp
You have sinned against me, Mr.
ArChy, and in shining you have also
sinned against that divine guidance
| which directs me in everything ] do,
whether ! am at my desk or whether !
have withdrawn TO Mount Sinai TO re-
ceive a new revelation or edit an old
one
This affair, Mr., Archy, only deepens
| a feeling Of distaste for you that has
| been growing on me for some time.
While We were working on The Almost
Perfect State In collaboration 7 began
to feel and have felt increasingly since,
a reluctance on your part TO accept me
as the final srbiter Of all affairs human
and divine.
This unfortunate divergence from my
own point of view proved to me beyond
the possibility Of q doubt that you are
damned here and hereafter. for time and
for eternity, More than year ago
SdlQ 10 mEStN lNat II ! ever caught you
alone when no one was looking, the end
would come suddenly. very.
In matters OF this transcendant I'M
portauCe the wise course is perfect can
dor; and in accepting in advance the
resignation which you will now proceed
10 write Isfeel Il my duty to tell you
! frankly that ! hone YOU choke to death.
| Very sincerely yours,
THE EDITOR OF THE sun DIAL
dear boss before this correspondence
goes any farther allow me 10 resign
| am only sorry I did not beat you 10 the
punch
/ have wanted to resign for year or
| 50 but RETAINED because the sun dial
! has to appear every day and somebody
| has 10 DO the heavy work
/ thank you for your candor in telling
me how YOU oathe me for it permits
| me to remark mildly that you have not
| been the easiest sort Of person 10 work
| for or associate with
II YOU wrote something yourself for
your column that turned out 10 be a
| fivver the word got around among the
| literau somehow that archy was the
| author
If wrote something that happened to
make a hit the tip went forth that you
| were the author
/ leave the Job with a sense of pro-
forbearing to, dwell at greater length
upon ;Ae sort .; person yop are and re-
| Numbering only the occasion In the
past when you said you were being kind
/ have the honor TO be mr. editor sim
cerely yours archy
Ny Dear Archy: I feel that we have
arrived at a better understanding OF
each other than we have had for many