The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1920-10-01
Drums and Things for Bub
A SHORT STORY By sEWELL FORD

a baby-blue tie and carried a pearl
case? That's as good "a pen and ink
closeup as l can give you of this
Ham. Curtis party. Well, maybe 1
might add that he had cute little
rosebud mouth, ears like lima beans,
and wore his mud-colored hair brushed
straight back, like the boys in the col
lar ads.
Near as l can make out young Mr.
Curtis is in trainin' to help his old
man run the bond business. That is,
one of these days. But he don't seem
in any grand rush to horn in on the
regular 9 to schedule. No, he be-
lieves in easin' himself into hign
enthusiasm for work interfere with
any important Country Club dates,
such as garden teas and dinner dances.
Besides there are the young ladies.
Trust fat man for not overlookin'
the fair sex. Uh-huh! That may not
be the regulation dope, but it's the way
I've got 'em sized up. And the more
weight they carry the mushier they're
apt to be. Take Ham. Curtis as Elk.
hibit A. Watch him at any social
function, from an afternoon tea fight
to an annual ball, and you'll see him
buZzin' around like an over-fed butter
fly, first with one sweet young thing
and then another, town 'em off into
shady hooks and dark corners, and
gettin' over the Romeo lines, expect,
at every openin'. How he gets away
with it, considerin' that 44-belt meas
ure and the roll of fat where the back
of his neck ought to be, is past me,
but he seems to be quite success.
AS for minglin' much with his fell
low males, that appears to bore Ham.
more or less. You don't find him
hangin' around the billiard room
swappin anecdotes with the other
young hicks while the jazz orchestra
is zoomin' out a one-step or fox
trot. Not Ham. At the first squeal
floor, with some zippy young vamp
cuddled up against his manly chest,
shakin' out the shimmy steps like he
was a sparrow takin dust bath
So feel highly honored where here
the other night Ham follows me onto
the 500 and slides into two-thirds of
my seat.
81 say, Torchy," says he, what
about this little Miss Candy who's
visiting at the Bob Ellinses'?"
"Eh?" says l. "Ain't you held her
hand and told her the story of your
life yet Why, you've had nearly two
whole days! Been in Jail, or what?"
"Oh, I've met her all right" says he.
Had couple of dances with her at
the Country Club the other night
And say, she's perfectly all right. But
somehow I didn't seem to get on with
her very we'll"
Now that's strange" says l.
Couldn't you lead her out to your
fav'rite nook and spring the usual
lines?'
Ham. pouts peevish. He amt much
used to being kidded, but in his case
it's plain he's made up his mind to
stand for it because he knows I'm in
with the Ellinses and maybe can be
helpful.
That's all tommyrot about my
having any usual lines, you know,
Torchy," says he. Il like girls well
enough, and perhaps I have played
around with them more or less; but
honestly, there's been nothing serious
until-well, until l met Edith"
Obi" says l. Got that far durin'
the second dance, did you? Her name
is Edith, is it? How'd you discover
that"
ASKED her, naturally" says Ham.
81 always do. It's such a sweet name,
Edith. Don't you think 500"
Never tasted it," says l.
"Oh, you know what 1 mean" says
he. Seems to be so appropriate for
her Really, 1 couldn't imagine her
having any other name 1t goes so
well with her clear gray eyes, and her
petite figure, and her shy modest
manner. Stunning hair she has, too.
I'm crazy about ash blondes"
Are your says I, smotherin'
yawn. l was beginnin' to wonder if
I'd got to listen to this sort of thing
all the way home.
mot all of them, of course" says
Ham. But I've always admired the
type, and since l met Edith Candy
l say, Torchy; just who is she, where
does she come from, and-and all
that
81 see," says I. want to card index
her pedigree, Ell? Well, don't know
as l can supply all the details, but
understand she comes from Baltimore
you must say Bawlt'mer, you know
and she's here with her mother,
who's an old friend of Mrs. Bob Ellins.
Went to the same boarding school, or
something. And her dads president
of steamship company. AS for her
favorite flower, or movie actress, or
what opera she likes best l Couldn't
NO, of course not" breaks in Ham.
But what about this little brother