Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-06-10

Bits of P
BY LUKE McLUKE
Copyright. 1920. the Cincinnati In
Quirer)
Hooray!
With care employees count the days,
They have great expectations;
No they're not waiting for a raise,
They're waiting for vacations.
The Limit.
Smith Is a great mar to worry
over nothing, isn't he 2" said Brown.
YES" replied Jones, why, If he
took an ocean voyage, he would wor-
ny for fear the sea would dry up n
leave him stranded in the mud"
The Summer Girl
How radiant is her sweet smile,
AS down the street she goes
She puts IN a whole lot of style,
But won't put on much clothes.
The Wise Fool
"Misfortunes come in pairs" OBJ
served the Sage.
Yes" agreed the Fool, IF the 9th.
er fellow has three of a kind
Pests.
Another pest is Oswald Brew,
Id like to muss his face;
He likes to tell you what he'd do,
If he were in your place.
The BypIay Minstrels.
Mister I~nterlocutor, a you tell
me why a married man is k an UNI
brella? ?"
mo, Mr.. Bones. I cannot. Will you
tell us why a married man is like an
umbrella ?"
Because his life is a round of put
up and shut up"
while the surgeons are removing
the bullets from the anatomy OF u
unfortunate Mr.. Bones, Mr.. Howell
Hard will render that pathetic ballad:
II I'idn't Raise Ny Mash to Be a
Near Beer"
Fool Man.
I'VE hustle and fret and Stew
| Observed old Uncle Bowers;
yet we can all find leisure to
Talk politics for hours"
Wun!
VIII Fight. of Woodford County,
Kentucky, was married to Pearl Bish-
op in Frankfort last week.
Firms Is Firms.
Sniffin- Coffey,
ModiSteS.
Loveman Building,
Chattanooga, Tenn.
The Horrors of Prohibition.
! The O. (. panhandler who used to
hit you for a dime now has a success.
sor who says: Hey, Jack, o amt
got a prescription on you, have your
Hooray!
You can find \. Bum at Sugar
Tree Ridge. Ohio
Advice.
If you must paint, my dear, use tact,
Don't smear the stuff on In a rush;
And do not advertise the fact
That you've forgotten how to nlush'
Luke McLuke.
If you must paint. hear what l say
Ut is a tip to girls with beaux),
i When Johnnie calls keep far away,
OR YOU will smear it on his clothes.
Hastings (Neb.) Tribune.
"You Whit"
O.. G.. Goodhand, oe New York CITY,
wants to get into the poker game In
the Club.
Our Joe Miller Contest.
Mrs. r. claims that the oldest 1oke
! is the one about the VINO
bought a dollars worth of moth balls
at q drug store one night and came
back the next day to complain. The
clerk asked him what the trouble was
and the Irishman replied me n
the wife threw them moth balls at
the moths for two hours last night
an we never hit a d-n moth"
Strange.
"a man Is queer said MI. Bund,
: You'll find that he Is very lunny:
5 He always gets mad when he's ounneo
Because he knows he owes the
money" Luke McLuke.
ayes man is queer" said Mr.. Bright,
And everybody here observes IT.;
He gets mad when he's nagged at
night,
Because he knows that he deserves
it."
Detroit Free Press.
Wire Us Collect
Uncle Joe Cannon, ~eighty-four
/ years young that you
should Jake one drink of liquor eacn
: day II you want to be an
Erian. If Joe will tell us where we can
get the drink We'll live to be 1oA.
Names Is Names.
r There are lots of old sea dogs. But
s you'll find A. C. Katt in FIT. Wayne,
{ Indiana
Our Daily Special.
y Others Never See Us as We see
Q Ourselves.
A man often wonders how he getl
; his colds when he eleepe With ~ PA
room W1ndQwn elo1eQ~ z