The Washington times., 1920-06-22

The athletes have become Sredtiy
interested in this coming test. They
are having lengthy arguments as to
the rules that should govern the com
petition. For instance, Frank Ellerbe.
who went to college, says that Erick-
son should receive credit for possess
ing a beak after the style Of Roman
trireme.
Bobby Roth thinks that Doc Ayers
should be credited with sporting more
bulk in his beak, Erickson's pro-
boscis being much sharper and
thinner. Zeb Milan is with Roth.
Thus do the arguments run among
>the athletes. there being almost as
many suggestions as there are
players with many of the Tigers
joining in the discussion raging
around the cigar counter in the lobby.
VAL PICINICH SUGGESTS.
@T think the best test is to measure
the two beaks from bridge to tip
says Val Picinich.
"Come away with this stun. come
AWAY" says the highly intellectual
Jim Shaw. "Who is running this
lshow? Tell me that: who Is running
this show~
You should consider all the points
OF the respective beaks in making
your test" puts in the collegian, Ell
1erbe. you should judge them on
points, allowing so many points for
length. so many for thickness, so
many for nobility so many for utility.
40 many for historic value. and so
on. That's the only fair and square
way to do it, it seems to me-"
"Ain't IL great to go to college and
get all that language?" gasps Jim
Shaw.
'Now. for instance, not to influence
your own personal Judgment, jim"
continues Ellerbe smoothly, but
merely as a suggestion, you should
use a set of calipers for the frac-
tional measurements OF the two
beaks. This would eliminate all pos
eibility of error in this regard. Then
YOU should give due and careful con-
alteration to the utility of the beaks.
This is of Importance.
~As TO THE NOBILITY
-As to the nobility, that is a matter
for sober Judgment on tho part of
.et Of Judges. I sincerely doubt your
oapability in this respect As to the
historic value of these competitive
beaks. here again appears the need
of a set of three or more Judges
chosen for their deep knowledge of
anatomy. biology and even paleontol-
ogy. Looked at from the classical
ar you gents ain't buying any
ching, will you kindly move and let
them get a chance who willT'. comes
from the girl at the cigar counter.
AS I was remarking, Jim, when
the interruption occurred" resumes
the collegian, Frank Ellerbe, III you
would decide this momentous. dues-
ton fairly, you should be equipped to
consider the aesthetic as we'll as the
purely materialistic merits OF the re-
spective beaks- Tigellinus, the we'll
Known Roman authority on this Sub
feet. says in his Apologize 'hic,N haee,
hoe. omnia gallia divida est in parties
tresr This opinion has never been
refuted--
.Can I get q light hercT' asks a
travelling man, battling his way to
the ever-burning gas jet. He gets
st.
Then. too continues the coiles-
fan. Frank Ellerbe, "sll the Baby
lonian sages are agreed on this aues-
rior OF aesthet ticism in juxtsposition
with the purely msterialistic and the
Greek writer's all add their weight
of knowiedee. TO the same cause. I
could quote
-Great gosh. DON'T sasps the as.
toniehed Jim shaw. "I can't stand
any mora All want to know IL
which bloke had the biEeest besk.
Krfck here or Doc Ayres. That's all
I want to know. Where do all these
big words come In TO decide that7-
I was getting 10 that" replies the
. eorlsG Gian. Frank Erierbe NY eiucids-