Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-06-07

revolution.
If you think a woman can't keep
a secret ask her how old she is.
A FANTAsTICAL MUSICAL
COMEDY.
In One Column and One Scene
Entitled
Gloria: or The Dark Horse"
Scene: Convention Hall, June, 1920.
the delegates are full of enthusiasm
(not more than one-half of l per
cent alcohoD. On q sort of throne,
decorated with question marks, is
seated Gloria, a girl of rare beauty
but with a cold, suspicious counte-
nance. Except for her pulchritude,
she might be taken for q boarding
house keeper. She is commonly
known as The Nomination.
The air is thick with portentous
silence. for the candidates are about
to enter, to sue for the hand of Glor-
ia, The Nomination. It is tense
moment. But hush! The doors are
flung open.
The Favorite Sons enter, some
carrying issues and others testimo-
malls from the neighbors. Some bear
themselves like politicians, but
others carry themselves proudly.
They approach the platform and adj
dress Gloria.
Song OF the Favorite Sons.
We come from here, we come from
there,
We come from almost everywhere.
We are the cream, we are supreme.
We have the wisdom and the steam.
Wen tell you why the babies cry
And why the sparrows southwark
fly;
Wen tell you when the setting hen
WIN lay a dozen eggs again.
Wen tell you what is what and not
And what the bolshiviki plot:
And what the spring or fall will
bring.
In fact we'll tell you everything.
And iftyou seek for mighty deeds
Or strength for which the nation
bleeds,
Or ask us what the country oeeds
To calm the fuss so perilous.
To clean the muss so dangerous.
Well tell you what you need:
It's US.
The fayorite sons having concIud-
ed their song, stretch out their arms
appealingly to Gloria. But she re-
mains as cold and untouched as q
landlord on moving day. The Fav-
orite Sons realize that they have
failed. They bow their heads, like
men who have overdrawn their
check accounts, and retire toward
the exit" sign. But, hush! The
doors are flung open again.
(To be Continued.)
You've certainly got to hand it to
Geraldine Farrar for versatility.
First she's an opera singer and then
a movie star and now she's a bare
back performer.
Prisoners of Italian jails are
striking for an eight-hour day. But
at last accounts there had been no
walk out.
"Oh, doctor, tell me, quick"
moaned the fair patient, clasping her
lap dog and convulsively nibbling a
thousand dollar check, "How sick
am I? Is it California, Florida or
Europe?"
A New York preacher says he can
smell booze a yard off, A good
many of us are going around these
days shifting rather hopefully.
Footless fury is that aroused in a.
one-legged man who has to pay the
price of pair of shoes.
Believe us, folks, we're peaceable,
But death or sudden danger
call.
Says: "My-you're quite strang-
er!"
Ella Wheeler Wilcox died six
months ago, but her poems continue
to appear every day in the papers.
She must have had a good ouija.
On the ground that it might halt
the wave Of national economy ooh,
my!-Yes, indeedD every he-editor
in the country is up in arms against
the proposal of the garment manu-
facturers to lengthen women's skirts.
"Values are going to find their
own level" says the National Asso-
citation of Manufacturers. And when
that comes to pass, the number of
things we now are paying money for
that will then be free makes us gasp.
TOO TRUE, TOO TRUE!
Mary had little lamb,
That statements not profound.
But, oh, how little Mary had
At 60 cents q. pound!
The ignorance of most of the can
didates on the question of how much
money they've spent to get elected
doesn't augur specially well for that
promised business administration.
F. E. ".