The Washington herald., 1920-03-29
Folks and Things
Around Washington
Labert St. Clair.

Dangerous as it Is for the
friends of any candidate for any
office to announce definitely that
they are positive of the vote of any
class, the supporters of General
Leonard Wood have up and done
that very thing.
They declare unreservedly that
their candidate is absolutely GER
tain to swing the votes of the des-
cendants of Santa Claus and Rip
Van Wrinkle just as soon as certain
facts about the generals attitude
toward whiskers become generally
known. 1t is by no means certain.
they continue. that in addition TO
lining up the kin folks of these
two great heroes of history the
General will not also get most of
the votes from the House of David
and. perhaps. every house where
Whiskers are raised and defended.
Anyhow. Wood is the friend of
whlskers and whiskered men. An
incident. which occurred at the
FIattsourgh training camp, six
years ago, proves it
Shortly after Gen. Wood took
charge of the camp there bounded
", a
patriarch from Dover, Me-, who wore
a beard as long and as thick as an
old-fashioned dasher churn. Salut-
ing the general. he said he wanted
TO be soldier. The general told
his visitor TO go ahead and take the
examination and get his ration of
beans just like anyone else.
Fifteen minutes later the old man
was back at the Wood tent.
General" he said, your examiner
says my heart is bad. Leaps like
the carbureatur of a junk wagon"
Tell him l said to waive that de-
feet" Wood said
Away went the old man in great
glee. But in ten minutes he was
back with tears running right down
his face and skidding of on the
greensward via his beard.
They won't admit me into that
infantry company so long as have
this beard" he moaned.
Tell EN- TO waive the beard"
Wood shouted.
iii do that myself" shrieked the
old chap, right-abouting and dash
ing over the parade ground. his long
white spinach Tapping over his
shoulders.
Fortunately, the old fellow never
got abroad to run the chances OF
getting his whiskers entangled In
herman barbwire. but he ALWAYS
was willing to go. And now he has
written the general that he and
seven of his comrades who have
whiskers are for him. and he thinks
maybe all the whiskered men in the
world soon will be.
Announcement by Champ Clark
that he will not be a candidate for
Senator from Missouri was no sur
Prise to any of his friends around
Washington He Just naturally
considers the Senate a graveyard
and does not care who knows il
Furthermore, if he went over to
the Senate he would be entirely too
far separated from his friend, Tn
Gle Joe" Cannon, to suit him.
Clark and Cannon. both former
speakers, do about as they please
in the House. No matter .-iat kind
OF a debate is going on. either OF
them can get up and talk about AL
most ANYTHING under the shining
sun without being called down for
being out of order, and they take
advantage of the privilege rirbt
along. 1t is we'll. too, for ANYTHING
that either of them says at anv
time usually is more Interesting
than anything else that may be said
on the floor OF the House.
AS sample of some of the things
they say, the other day Clark intro
duced Cannon as a man who wouId
be known wherever he showed his
race In the United States, and added
that the former Speaker was stiIl
in the bloom of his youtb and
beauty" Cannon then cot up and
said that he hoped he would live to
be 100 years old-and ne thinks he
willard that he earnestly prayed
that the doctors who are going TO
make men live to he $50 would get
hustle on themselves.
representative Winslow of Mas
sachusetts. who makes several mill
lion pairs of skates every year and
employs. thousands of hands, never
has any trouble with his help. He
Is Fat and jolly, and when there is
trouble brewing he calls the repre-
sentatiVes of the men into his office
and irons out all difficulties.
Il Just get them around the ma
hogany and rub Eoses with them,-
he explains.
league in the Northwest is the very
last that could be made of service