Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1920-08-13
CHAPTER III
a Fool There Wasn't
Third Inning

Rlverside's Drive, n. Y.
Dear Joe-Well, Joe. no doubt. you
nave been doin' nothin' but wopderin'
why you amt heard from me in so long
and am | dead or what the devils Is
the matter and etc. Joe, | am not ex-
aactly dead. but l have had terrible
time Of lately and don't tell me the
formerly kaiser is worried. because I
got more on my mind than that big stiff
ever had, no kiddin'! In the first place.
II mas been weeks since I win a game.
and all been doin is fattenin' the bat
tin, averages of the other clubs and
maxim tramps which usually is in the
habit of httin' less than their age look
like second Ty Cobbs and new Babe
Ruths. Even that there collection of
s,mipros which plays under the alias of
day and Mac removed me by hand after
six innins when everybody but Stallin's
himself had got fistful of hits.
Well Joe, after that game, which was
probly no doubt the most unuusual one
the Braves has played thi season on &C.
count of them winnin' 1t, Mac and me
had short heart-to-heart talk for two
hours in the clubhouse. Joe. he got very
down on him like a dog and not givin
the club the best I got and that too
much public fame and etc. has went to
my head and ruined me for practical
Use. He says | will have to take n brace
terrible swift and show somethn' for
the Jack he's gtvin' me or else ! will
get a Immediately chance to see how
like either Jersey City or Toronto, ac-
cordin' to which on, will fall for me.
Well. I says, when he had spoke
his fill, "1 can't help It Theyse no use
bawlin' me out, because that will get us
nowheres. II bawin' a guy out would
make him good a umpire would become
the greatest guy in the world over night,
You can't get me sore, not even II you
give me the raspberry off of the team.
My wife don't want me to be no ball
player, anyways !"
Tell your wife not to worry" snarls
you aint !"
Well. Joe. one word led to the other
and finly l asked for week off to rest
up and pull myself together. and Mac
back madly on his account, and can
take all the rest of the weeks which is
left II ] wanna, and maybe me bein
away will no doubt cinch the pennant
for the club.
Joe. left him in a wildly rage, be-
cause If had stayed there another min
ute | would of most doubtless give him
clout in the nose or the like, and
probly got knocked kicltin' in return.
Well, I suppose you are searchin' your
brain wonderin' what has happened to
me and my worlds famous invincthle
pitchin' arm, hey? Joe, it's a tough life
and guy amt sure from one day TO
another which way. things is gonna
unto me was like rolin' stone from a
clear sky. Mac gives out to the papers
that | was laid up on account OF small
bone snappin off in my arm or my head
or somethin', but that's the bunk Joe,
what | am actually laid up with Is a
| broken heart.
Jeanne has went bodily into the
Joe. that there thing alone would be
more than enough to make the average
guy quaff off a fiagon of CarboliC hut
II amt one-third of what has come to
pass in my formerly happy and delight
ful home. l am forced to sir IN I'll
from 10 3 every a. m. and do nothin'
less than study the English language
which Jeanne claims | speak now like
7 had picked il up in or about AfGhanls-
tan. In the days time, when | amt
playin' ball or bein' a arthur for the
newspapers and etc, l got to go to
school to little old guy which was
once a professor from one of them big
football colleges and Is now tryin' to
make honest livin'. For So the hour.
and not a nickel off for cash. this guy