South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1920-11-07
BY DILLON PATTERSON.

House
jazz bands weird street car conductors. and
baseball But the usually astute whiskered tribe
overlooked the best bets Of all time in fall
ing 70 put out gridron squad. The chances of sue
cess that writer thinking of let
ting John D. Rockefeller invest ne of his hard
dollars in such assuring him that it will
be necessary to hire a coach.
The only drawback to the plan IS that every foot
thus the BARRIERS raise their prices
lack OF trade But Il Is the only way Of
vincing Walter Camp, that well known picker Of All
American material. that winning football teams may
be found west of the Aeghenies In view of this fact
would be out OF place 20 ask the BARRIERS TO
living like newspaper reporters do. The
formerly spent IN male beauty shops could be collected
a tax by the government thus permitting thea
dispense with that awful price-raising scheme
that affects all Of us
Now supposng the House Of David is playing either
Granger or Harvard The bearded team which I in
sist on calling the home team Is lined up on one side
the field and the crowd Is singing that we'll known
MY Kingdom For Barber" Although it is
customary for any team 20 play more than oppOs-
ing team at time. hold that my side could do the
but for the sake OF clearness Will Harvard
is our opponent. alias the visiting team.
Immediately following the referees whistle
kicks the ball the heads. whiskers OF
and some unlucky player catches It, Harvard
has awful reputation 70 uphold and Immediately
itself awful FIX The visitors confronted
a barrage OF hair. Faint recolectons of South
Sea Islanders. portrayed in the movies fiji the Wis
itors with sense OF insecurity Instead of running
forward and tacknE the Harvard players
stop short and feel for their pocket books q forgot
10 mention that carrying the ball had
time to to the bench and set drink. which i'm
medatey helps him 10 fall Harvards line for the
first touchdown.
PenaIized Holding.
Our captain does not wish TO delay the game by
kicking q goal. he orders Of
quarreng 10 kick off and Harvard receives the ball
the first play some Harvard steps
whiskcrs and that famed eastern school is set
farther from the coast Is yards for hold
Seemingly unable avoid repetitiOns OF this Of
Tense, Harvard Is penaliZed successive times
having been back so yards behind their
line we are crp7f rT vi hhac<
s. Harvard o. At this point the refereee receives
telephone call and the quarter ends.
Harvard kicks off and after OF team has
caught the bali, all OF players rush together and
form a small circle AS the husky Harvard forwards
dive for they succeed in upsettng only those
on the the ring nearest them. The rest Of
players scatter and after the fasteners wildly
about for five minutes searching men in
find the ball they are awakened by tiny shout
Here IL Is" coming from their goal line and there
right hand. The Harvard captain makes big hoUer.
claiming the ball buried hid under the uprighs
hut Mooney proves that he the ball
in his whiskers. and the astonished Colegians
ordered TO delay the game.
Mooney
Mooney has again received the ball but gets tangled
up his beard on his 3o-yard line. our line. by
shaking their whsstrs and binding the opposing lines
men, succeeds ming half yard. repetition
these tactics fails 90 gain and Harvard gets the bail
ou downs the quarter ends Score, We "A. Har-
ward o.
Page Jack HCCkaman.
The Harvard coach makes desperate but unsuccess-
fu attempts grow boards his between halves
lie makes numerous changes In his lineup a eff
fort boards for his men but finds that
~ shem match the veteran Davds In this depart
OF the game During the intermissiOn John d.