Atlanta tri-weekly journal. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1920-19??, 1920-11-27
DOROTHY DIX TALKS
BY DOROTHY DIX
The Stepmother
Copyright, 1920, by the Wheeler Syndi-
cate, Inc.

a WOMAN who signs herself "a Perse-
~ cuted Step-mother," asks me if will
- - say a word of comfort to the wom-
en- who have undertaken the difficult task
of bringing up some other womans chill
dren.
1 wish I could, but there Is precious little
of comfort to say, beyond reminding those
who are toillng at the hardest and most
thankless job on earth, that Heaven is their
home, and the jewels in their angel crown
will be Kohinoors, if they faint not in we'll
doing. And that's nothing to cheer about,
for while we all hope to eventually receive
our eternal reward, we are none of us in
hurry to- cash in on it.
No other woman's lot has so many thorns
and so few roses in it as the step-mother's
No matter what she does, she is invariably
criticized, misunderstood illuminated Her
sacrifices are rarely appreciated by those for
whom she makes them. No matter how
good and kind she is, people attribute to her
motives those that belong to a fiend, and
the fact in the face of this common knowl
edge regarding the fate of step-mothers
there are still women who marry widowers
with children, proves that the race Of fools,
or saints, martyrs, is still extant. Or else
it shows that widowers really have, what
is often attributed to them, hypnotic pow
er with women which makes the fair sex
ready to get up and follow them when they
whistle, no matter what the obstacle.
It is the custom to pity the children when
a widower gets married, for we all hove
gloomy visions of what a cruel step-mother
can do to the poor helpless little ones who
have fallen into her power, but while we
have our handkerchiefs out, and are weep
ing over the woes of the children, we might
as well drop few sympathetic tears also
for the step-mother, and the things that q
bunch of strenuous children are likely to do
I to her.
Heaven knows that raising ones own
children is no cinch. The reason that God
sends along with every baby, as its birthday
gift to its mother, that unreasoning, uncrit
ical inexhaustible thing that we call the ma
ternal passion, and that enables every wom-
an to believe that each individual child of
hers is transcendent genius and perfect
beauty, is to give woman the patience to
endure with all the faults and aggravations
OF childhood, and to make her believe that
the child is worth the trouble of rearing.
But the step-mother takes this burden of
shoulders, and God knows no miracle in her
behalf. He leaves her to shift for herself.
She has none of that blind and fanatical love
for a child that makes her see only high
spirits in its wanton mischievousness, and
sensitive temperament in its bowls OF tenn
per. When little Johnnie takes pin and
draws pictures Of animals on the mahogany
dining room table, his own mother sees in
it only the indication that Nature has des-
tined him to be great animal painter. But
a step-mother would see in the same act
only the WantOn destruction of cherished
piece of furniture, and feel that little John
ME should be spanked. That's the differ
ence of the point of view between mine and
thine.
The step-mother's lot is also made more
difficult by the attitude of the relatives and
friends of the children's mother. AS long
as a woman is dealing with her own chilly
dren, her family uphold her hands They
recognize that children must be disciplined,
a1d their impulses curbed that thev mus
be punished when they do wrong; that their
manners must be corrected and that they
must be coerced into the straight and mar
row path if they won't walk along it vol
UNFAIRLY. So grandpa and grandma, and the
aunties and the uncles, and the friends gen.
orally tell Johnnie and Mary that they must
be good children and mind what mother
says.
Far otherwise is their attitude when a
step-mother sits in the place of the chill
dren's own mother. Then the first wife's
relatives, either consciously or uncOnsciously,
begin turning the children into little rebels,
and setting their hands against their step
mother. They are insiduously taught by
their mothers people to look with suspicion
upon every act which the step-mother does,
to resist her authority, and to believe that
there is some sinister purpose concealed be-
hind her simplest act.
1t often happens that the children's step
mOCn0r Is a lar more 1nColIgenC woman IMAM
their own mother was, and woman of more
culture and wider social experience but
when she tries to raise the children up toS
a level to which their own mother could
never have raised them, they resent it and
hate her for the good she has done them.
If, however, the step-mother feels that it
is hard for her to spend her life laboring for
children who do not give her even thanks
for the weary hours she spends cooking and
sewing and cleaning to make them comfor-
table, and who do not appreciate the sacri-
fees she makes for them, let her remember
that children seldom appreciate the things
their own mothers do for them or are CRATE
full to her. Filial appreciation is mostly
graveyard virtue, and fiourishes most free
ly on tombstones.
There are no nobler women in the world,
and none who perform a greater service,
than the women who are good step-mothers,
who come into widowers disorganized
house and turn its chaos into order, and
who nurse, and guide, and help, and love
his children SO that they never know that
they are motherless Great is their sacri-
fee and great shall be their reward. But
they'll only get it in heaven.
whole streets hurriedly erected on its broad
acres for lone picture. There Eng