Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1920-01-16
Natural Cas-
BY FRA RoBERTUs
Old John b.. and Old John L. of
the Booze Ring, Gets Kayo and
Takes Count, Whereat Fra Ro-
bcrtus Gigglcs Gurgly.

Well, goodby, John, take keer o
yerself!
N c.
The parting salutation, not to say
the parting shot, is to or at John Bar
leycorn, who goes down today for the
en-count, gets the kayo, and lies
weltering in his own blood after a
most terrific battle lasting so may
rounds that the original umpire.
whose name was Noah or something,
has been gathered to his fathers for
immemorial centuries.
N G.
And, come to think Of 1t. Umpire
Noah himself fought d memorable
round with old John b., with his own
daughters more or less at the rinEside.
Which somehow reminds me of the
time when Eftzsimmons and Corbelt
fought at Carson City, and the then
Mrs. l'itzsimmons, at he r!nSside
urged on her champion with the rally.
ing cry, Soak i'm in the Stats, Bob
soak i'm in the slats!'
All, boys-but those WE'RE the
days of real sport!
IN G.
And the days when old John B.,
the APPARENTLY unconquerable John H..
of the booze ring, was in his prime
those also were the days, of real
sport--of a sort, / reckon maybe
some of us still remember. John y.
| has been groggy-yes, and no pun
meant--been groggy for many years,
and particularly for the year lust
past. During the late twelvemont'i
old John has been slipping-and now
he is down; and the umpire to1av--
lineal descendant of Original Umpire
| Noah, of course. If the ark story Is
authentic--the umpire IS raising the
right hand of the winner, AS. L. of
| A.. otherwise the Anti-Saloon League
of America.
IN c.
And the mourners at the ringside---
| they go about weeping aud waiting
and crashing their teeth, and refus-
| ing to be comfprted with tie phoHy
inspiration obtainable from one-ha!t
! of one per cent of nothing reduced to
its ultimate neither limit.
IN c.
A celebrated M. d. expert on alco-
! holfsm once told me that there are
| times when man wants a drink and
| times when he needs a drink, but that
| the only way for man to overcome
| the booze obsession once 1t gets hin
T, going is to get change Of environ
| ment. My observation--not TO in
sinuate my experience, you under
| stands that Old Doc was just about
| right.
IN c.
| And unless you are a boozefightei
or have been one, you can't under
| stand the true shade of meaning con
| cealed in the wise pronouncement O
that eminent NJ. d.
| IN G.
Some day, If God let's me live Ions
enough and the kind hearted public
will demand NATURAL GAS
| enough to provide me with the where
| withal for a weeks vacation, am go
| ing to write beautiful little brochure
entitled "a Brief for the Boozefight
en-" In said brochure | am going Il
say some things which ought to b.
said hold no brief for booze, min
you--only for the boozefighter. ] be
/ lieve l understand efim a great dea
better than do the good ladies of tn,
w. C. r. U. or the lady-like gents whit
never took a drink of red lilucr in al
their pale pink lives and are praisins
themselves perpetually because o
their fancied superiority over thu
boozefighter.
/ You know the sort | meal: and I
this shirt fits you. take 1t and wear i
O Pale Pinky Person! Soci"ty ma,
many crimes to answer for, and on,
of the crimiest thereof les In its III
ane. insane mistreatmeat IF men anC
women obsessed with the alcohol,
desire.
IN c.