Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1920-03-18
THINK RlLPl.


and frensied finance = that 81
glars are mot called wixaris. &;
One trouble about. stoppiul t5S Is
Fletcherize ones food nowadays f 3.
that some other fellow Is liabls q ST
grab it.
The calves are getting through ~ 4
winter so far, MI right, considerin9 &
the lack Of covering . lot q "a &;
around town have. 3. u. sss; ssR1
We can't say Whist we think abo1f
congress, because we hate to think &
and are not allowed to print IL .ssss
One Of the big men Of China 81
Yuan Shi Kai. II we had i nants
like that we'd rent it out to some cols
lege for ayell.
When fellow gets run down by ~;
street ca1 or motor it is deucediy iES
ritating 10 have to pay his own fun
eral expenses 1s.jEss
At m editorial association meet
ing, one lady read a paper entitled
IF I Had It To Do Over Again
Would / Marry : Kansas Editor 4,
We did not learn what the conclus. on
was, but, should think it ought to hnye
been in the negative.
When one Of the boys gets back
from France or Siberia the rest Of Is
think he must be crazy to find out
what has been going on in town since
he left. ssSs
When you get q combination Of
hard cold, tonsilitis, suinsy, bronchi-
tbs, neuralgia, rheumatism, lnmbago,
gastritis vertigo, asthenor;a AMI
crouch, go home and go to bed its
the flu.
Easter is en- route, which means
that it Is getting here with both feet,
and bringing bills for new gowns and
hats along with it. It is the accept
ed time for new raiment and glad
rags, yet if the average man should
don pair Of lemon-colored gloves
that day he would feel like street
accident.
II calling the former German ep-
peror an assassin il the best q Bel
gian can do in the way Of denunci6-
ton, then the job Of sulphurating the
atmosphere properly in Wilhelm.s
vicinity will have to be left to the
English or Americans who are tenn
peramental enough to do the job up
brown and speak q language Of broad
cussing possibilities. s
"What is the Bavarian Diet that has
played such havoc with the Wittels-
bach dynasty?" asks the inquisitivs
subscriber. The only Bavarian diet
we know anything about is Muench.
.ner, pig-knuckles and sauer kraut.
Ask the President Il he 10 happy,
and he would probably say sure, just
like any married man does when his
wife Is around, but just what any
man wants Of the presidential job ~
a puzzle.
Curious Subscriber, speaking about.
Holland, asks what neutral really
means. Well, If two fellows scrap
over ass bill, one claiming it is good
and the other claiming il is counter
ieit, and : third chap puts it in his
pocket and walks off, leaving them
to fight it out. that last guy ID neu-
trail. 2
If the object Of a surplus profit tax
is to be achieved, then price fixing
must be attached to it. Otherwise the
tax is added to the price and the buck
passed on down to that proverbial
patient burro, the ultimate consumer.
A great many very good people dis
pise paying taxes, smallpox, corns,
Whittler's poems, rheumatism and:
the socialist party.
Vice President Marshall thinks "a
wider religion is needed to remedy.
labor evils" We do not notice any
lack Of width, but some Of it ought to
strike deeper.
It is when a fellow comes rolling
in at a. m. and starts in explaining
to his wife, that truth gets stranger
than fiction.
A wicked Oakland paper says .
lady Of that town discovered in church
that part Of her harness had become
untouched, and that as she started
for the dressing room the preacher
read from his text, Whittier thou
goest l will go.
It is generally unwise to poster
about mans monument while he d;
yet alive, but, politically speaking, II.
Hiram Johnson's friends are going to;
do anything toward an appropriate
shaft, now is good time % take up
the collection.
Our prediction is that both prices
and wages will be scaled down some
what by the end of the current year.
Any balloon filled with gas gets s
puncture sooner or. later.
England has divine right Of kings,n
also Socialism. Likewise it has suf-
frage and the house Of lords. Is all.
that tact or hyprocisy, or both
A poindexter campaign hutton is ct
hand, with q pretty good motto. II
says: mo Red, without the White:
and Blue"
One Of our soldier boys in ! Red
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