The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1920-04-02
BUBBLES
MARK IRELAND

German republic wnen ne fifst took
office by swapping a picture Of him in
a bathing suit. Maybe we can get at
the real issues in the coming cam
Ipaign il we make the candidates fur
nish similar photographs OF them
selves.
| When DR.. Cook returned from the
VICINITY OF the North Pole, claiming
its discovery, he was met in Copen-
hagen by an American newspaper re-
porter to whom he told his story.
After the recital was over. the re-
porter asked:
What proofs have you. DoctorF
what proofs do you want" the
Doctor countered.
PA" said little boy facing his
father, (which is your right handT
Encyclopedia Pa indicated the ap-
pcndage.
(Which is my right hand" the
young question mark continued. Pa
indicated it. Follows a period Of
cogitation; then:
Gee, Pa. you must be made
wrong"
Capital and labor seem to be mixed
on the question Of right hands
Arthur Brisbane says one way to
eliminate stupidity is to make it ex-
pensive. The man who sells his Lib.
erty Bonds unnecessarily is stupid
and his stupidity costs him money.
Panacea for the troubles of the
world: "When in He'll keep cool. Ex-
element only increases the heat"
There are certain bees in every
hive Of honey bees who stand on their
heads in the passageway and whir
their wings, thus ventilating the hive.
We humans need something like that
to clarity our issues in and out of
congress.
A lot of fellows who got $50 bon
us from the government when they
left the service lost it in poker games
10 fellows who didn't join up. Like
wise, lot of people who bought Lib
erty Bonds are foolish enough to sell
them for less than they are worth to
spectators who probably did not buy
as many of the bonds as they should
have during the war.
A western girl visiting the east was
deliberately entertained and wrote this
to San Francisco friend
These people back here miss the
fun of seeing how much fun they can
get out Of spending twenty five
cents"
There is no moral tothis story.
Jim Hill, who knew thing or two,
once said:
"If you wish to know whether you
will be failure or a success in life
there is simple. infalliblc test Can
you save money, II you can. you
win. II not you fail"
All the down-and- cutters know Hill
was right. but how in the world did
he find it out'
Irish Catholics and Protestants and
a contingent of Hindoos marched to.
gether in a St. Patrick's Day parade
in New York under the green. whit,
and yellow flag of the Irish Republic
Meanwhile. in San Francisco an Irish
stevedore and an Irish policeman had
a fist fight when the stevedore at
tackled Jung Cling, who was hurryine
home from the funeral Of a friend
wearing an orange ribbon which is
the funeral emblem of the Yuns
tong, Jung Cling watched the battle
and, as the patrol wagon rolled away
asked. "What floi"
| 90
Mark Twain defined a gold mine as
"a hole in the ground dug by liar. It
They are too lazy nowadays to even
dig the hole.
| know woman who has the
grocerman scared to death. Every
other day when he delivers the gro
ceries he asks il he can weigh them
on her scales to see if his are correct
l know young fellow who started
a bank account on a club poker game
But he is broke now. He kept on
playing poker.