Cayton's weekly. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1916-1921, 1920-08-28

q young woman, WeQgeQ nef way along just
inside the doorway. Each time the car took
a sudden urch forward she fell helplessly
back. and three times she landed in the arms
of large, comfortable man. The third time
it happened he said quietly: "Hadn't you
better stay here?'
Dinah was a product Of New Orleans, a
big plump "yaller gal" who could cook the
finest dinners for miles around. One day
new butler appeared upon the scene, and
Dinah's mistress noticed that she took a
great interest in the man. At last her mis-
tress could stand her curiosity no longer
and asked, "Dinah, do you know that new
mano' Dinah took another long and scrut-
inizng look and then slowly and reminis-
Gently replied: "Well, I dunno, Miss Alice;
but | think he was nah fust husband
The commercial traveller met Sandy, the
canny one, emerging from the postoffce.
"Ah, Sandy!'' cried the commercial traveller,
cit is good to see as prosperous farmer as
yourself-not forgetful of his country! You
have been in the postoffce to purchase war
bonds?" "Nay,' said Sandy easily ooh.
Then perhaps you have put little money
in the savings bank that it may help the
country?'' "Nay' "Wen," said the trav-
eler as last resort, 81 suppose that you
have bought postal order to send to some
poor acquaintance" "Nay I've been in to
fill my fountain PEN
With many sobs and repetitions the good
woman had told her tale of woe to the Eng
lish clergyman. It was full of che sez' and
II sez," but the clergyman listened patiently
until she had finished. "I'm sorry, my dear
lady, he said, sympathetically "Certainly
your husband does seem to treat you rather
unkindly. But remember that you took him
for better or for worse" 'Well, it's allus
been for wuss, star as I kin see,' replied
the visitor, dabbing her eyes with what only
politeness could call pocket handkerchief.
"Have you tried to cure him with kindness? -
pleaded the man. "Have you tried heaping
Goals of fire on his head?" "No, I amt, sir, -
replied the woman, grateful for the new idea.
$50 far, I've only tried 'ot water"
"Say,' said the irate visitor, you had
something about me in your paper that has
gotta be corrected.' eff the item was
wrong' the editor smoothly replied, eve
shall cheerfully do as you request. 81 told
one of your reporters I saw a beautiful gold
finch perched on a twig just outside Of my
bedroom-'' ''Well-' "And when
the item came out in the paper it read gold
fish. - ''That ism t so bad. ION, ism t 1t,
though? Well, ever since it was in the paper
friends of mine have been hanging around
our house thinking l have private supply
of something to drink in my cellar"
John Simmons had been an abstainer for
twenty years but fell from the ways Of grace
and worshipped the vinous god with all the
fervor of a convert. Feeling the need of re-
cuperation, he sent his boy to an adjacent
hostery for bottle of whisky. ''But, -
cried the hotel proprietor, "who's it for?"
For my father" said the boy "Nonsense.
Your father is total abstainer and has been
to my knowledge for longer than you've
lived.' "Well, at all events, he sent me
for it, ''What does he want it for?" ''To
let you into secret" said the boy, ashamed
to tell the truth, ''he's going fishing and he
wants the cork to use for float
The smart young automobile salesman was
trying to sell car to farmer who swore
he would never set foot in one of the pesky