Arizona republican., 1920-04-12
No Such Book

Entering a bookstore some days ago a man who looked like a student oi musty manuscripts, or a retired San ! Diego Diogenes. asked the woman be- l hind the counter for Upton Sinclair s latest book, "The Brass Collar" The l woman said she had never heard of 1 Upton Sinclair or the book wanted The bookworm could not believe his ears.
 Never heard of the author of The Jungle'?" said he. "My dear lady your knowledge of books is er-slightly linn ited."
 | The woman called the storekeeper who was posted on all the latest ad ditions to the book world, and to him the student of literature repeated his question. The man who sells books said that Upton Sinclair had never written any such book as The Brass Collar or any other kind of collar, and wanted to make a bet on it, but the 1 seeker for a brass collar would not be convinced, and left to seek elsewhere. "A little knowledge,' said the Book man, "is a dangerous thing. That man still believes there is such book.
 Why is Burglar? ''Why did become a burglar?" said man not long out of states prison the other day. Well, because working for other people is slow work. Look at all these people who work for salaries. They are poor all their lives. Me, l take a chance of making a big haul and being rich for life. Maybe I lose, maybe I win. but the game is worth the candle. For every one like me that gets caught dozen get away. It's a tough gamble, Mister, but sooner than be poor all my life, I'd sooner run the risk.'
 You bet sighed the man who Gs@Ix 450, 900 people in prisons in the United States for thinking as you do. who spend their best days in steel cages like wild animals; who still have hopes Of dying rich and respectable by steal ing other peoples gold. It's a long gamble, my friend with the odds mill lion to one"
 Willing to Pay for Ride
 A rumor that will not down is in cir culation about the capitol building to the effect that there is movement on foot which will shortly take the form of d round robin request by capitol em- ployes that the street car company pro- vide adequate transportation to and from the capitol.
 The rumor club wants a five minute schedule-a shuttle car, if necessary.
 Although the majority of the capitol employees avail themselves of the street cars, many return to their homes daily in automobiles.
 DogGone!
 Two of the sheriff's deputies put in a whole afternoon one day last week Doe" accused of stealing a mastiff answering to the name of Tex" only to find that the dog had spent the day around garage on East Adams street.
 The owner of "Tex'' works in a de- partment store and while she was out t.<~r xV< in an automobile driven by an unknown woman. Calling up her home, she found "Tex" had not been seen all morning, so she swort out a complaint and it was handed to the sheriffS of flee to serve.
 Two deputies at once began the search for "Jane Doe" and the dog About go o'clock they accidentally stopped at the garage and mentioned their troubles. An employe told them a dog answering the description of Tex had been there all day and had just left. The deputies went to the owners home but could not find Tex around there.
 About . o'clock the owner of the garage called the sheriff's office and said he had just come back from talk ing Tex to the home of the owner but had brought the dog back to the garage because he could find no one at home. ''Tex" was brought to the coun- ty jail and tied to the office strong box for safe keeping until the owner could call for him after o'clock
 Dog gone that gone-dog," exclaimed one of the deputies at the conclusion of his afternoons work.
 All Fords Look Alike
 Johnny and his friend Dave each have a girl friend and the four had planned to attend dance in the coun- try. Dave's father told him he might use his automobile for the party so Dave promised to get Johnny and then call for the girls. few monutes be- fore the time set, Dave called Johnny on the phone and said he had run short of gas half way between his home and Johnny's. Tn order to save time he suggested that Johnny walk to the car and wait for him. He told him where he had parked it.
 Johnny found the car, climbed in, lighted a forbidden smoke and set tied back to wait for Dave. Fifteen minutes later man came out of house and, seeing Johnny. immediately accused him of trying to steal the car. An explanation that the car belonged to his friend only made matters worse.
 Bum stuff" said the irate man and asked a neighbor to hold Johnny while he went in to call the police.
 The police arrived and placed Johnny
 
 for the police station, Dave drove up and stopped to see what the trouble was. When matters were finally straightened out, Johnny said, "Well yod can't blame me, all Fords look | alike.''
 Paid in Advance But Not in Full
 Speaking the other night of the death l of Robert x. Leatherwood. mayor of Tucson forty years ago and since then | legislator and sheriff, Nose Drachman | that the genuine pioneers | were nearly all gone- Stories of them, 1 lying and dead, naturally included 1 anecdotes of Charles H. Myers. next to | Roy Bean the most famous justice of | he peace west of the Pecos.
 One day a two-fisted miner went to | Justice Myers office and asked: Judge | now much will it cost me to hit a | nan?"
 .'Ach, SOL replied the justice, May De five dollar would be aboudt right"
 ''But, I want to hit him hard; want | 70 knock him out. Could I do that | Or S20?"
 Dot would be plenty" decided the ustice.
 Thereupon the miner laid double .agle on the desk and whanged away.