South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1920-11-07
AS If They DIdn't KNOW Us.

I
| tiOnally known like all Mishawaka
products Election night a round
/ of consolation was being dinned in
/ our ears when we were in no right
eOus mood. In a moment of un-
disguised fervor we suggested 70
Captain Haslanger that it might
| soon be necessary for him 10 mObil-
! ize his home guards. Unknown to
us the telegraph operator at work in
| our sanctum flashed the STORY" 70
a news agency in Chicago which in
turn sent 1t out TO every paper in
! the country with a few embellish-
ments. About midnight our oper-
ator handed us this imperative de-
mand which came TO him from the
above news agency. who I'm HI is
/ Wallach? Get 500 words from him
on home guards mobilization. and
rush."
p. d. s, better known 10 us as
George B. Williams. is altogether
too modest with his pen. George
has almost as keen a sense Of hu-
mour as a lowland Scot, and that is
saying considerable, take il from US.
Before the world caved in we had
been in the habit of referring 10 il
as an 'invincible" democracy, but
NTeOIB re ASKS Us III future 10 use the
word invisible" which we intend
doing for the present. Thanks for
the endearing terms Of your per-
fumed note. George.
Earl Fink doesn't seem to have
changed much since his marriage.
He came TO our office as usual cleo
ton night, and was intensely inter
ested in the women vote.
Art Haslanger will ask the new
president TO proclaim Halloween q
national holiday as one of the first
acts Of the republican administra-
ton on assuming the burden next
March.
Allie SCHNEIDER must have a cell
lar-full of PremOna judging from
the number Of attempted burglaries
at his residence The last attempt
to enter the cellar was on Monday
night last and but for the presence
of Allie with a sawed-off shotgun.
every drop Of nectar might have
been carried off, as two express
wagons were on the other side OF
the street awaiting the end OF hos
tilities. The thieves next attemptec
TO 5tL into Aut0A e Nd luE > A4OAAltfr
but George has his buried.
It would shame a modern girl al
most 10 death If you were TO see her
in a mighty. a garment that reaches
from neck TO floor. She must wear
flimsies. transparencies and abbre-
viations TO be presentable to
| strangers.
No. Pussy, we didn't make a single
/ bet or roll a peanut around the
I block. Our friends do not seem 10
/ understand our lofty regard for the
I law which prohibits betting on cleo
! tons. and when we tell them we
would not even bet on a cinch they
laugh derisively. as much as 10 i'm
pugn our veracity Could men be
more despisable?
Have you ever lied for your
party?" asked Bob Robertson OF US
We dislike abrupt interrogations
like that. No. we have never ex-
actly lied for il, but we have said
/ things for il that subsequently
/ proved 10 be inaccurate conclusions
[ based upon a total misrepresentation
Of the facts.
II the Greeks would nixy on the
king business and put some repre-
I sentative candy manufacturer or
/ shoe-shining magnate at the head OF
( their government, they would ap-
peal mere eloquently TO our demo-
cratic instincts.
a bride puts her husbands love
letters away in lavender as a
precious memory. But she produces
/ them 10 years later and reads them
10 him just TO see him squirm.
Don't Forget
KEISER'S ELECTRIC
SHOE SHOP"
ii6 ". Main St. MiShawaka-