davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1920-04-20
EAR MISS FAIRFAX:
You are certainly to be

You are certainly 10 De
- thanked for your constant
good advice to the distressed, the
confused and the tragically hope
less" who came to you daily for sug-
Eestion and judgment. And l like
your way Of handling the idly Gu
rious, the conceited self-styled "art-
lists" who labor under the delusion
that they have a literary style"
and the occasional egotists who
write to you asking for your sym
pathy and pity in some blunder OF
their own making.
7 appeal to you as bewildered
reader Of your columns. asking for
enlightenment on one or two things
which have lately appeared there.
First, can you tell me what F. V.
must have had in mind when he
wrote the verbose, illogical. inco-
herent 300 words or so which ap-
appeared recently? I am genuine
ly anxious to get his point.
Second, referring to the artistic
.Rambler'' letter. can you confirm
my suspicion that a great many per-
sons these days lay claim to the
name artist" often on as simple
grounds as financial independence,
a surplus OF idle hours, bobbed hair,
ability to run the scales on the
piano or trombone, and sometimes
even the mere presence OF
"widow's peak" or eyebrows with a
natural arch to them?
Third, won't the present depress-
ed condition Of the "love market" in
Washington be relieved and amelio-
rated to a great degree when the
10000 or so extra girls now in
washington leave for their home
towns?-I mean, by return to the
normal basis Of "only one girl for
each fellow" Can't we hope that II
will come TO be unnecessary for any
girl to wall bitterly that she Just
can't meet the right sort Of fellow
in Washington"
Everything in life is controlled
by the inexorable law Of supply
and demand, and much Of the lone
lIness and heartache In the breasts
of young women in Washington
has undoubtedly been caused by
the fact that there were not
enough men to "go around" Part
of the time the most eligible were
off at camps or overseas, in addi-
ton to that girls came here by the
thousands without single ac-
uuaintance in town--nothing to
anchor to but their civil service
exam. Some Of them have had a
pretty good time of their war
working adventure. Others have
been frightfully unhappy and
wretched. Part of this misery has
been caused by the super-critical
attitude assumed toward them by
everyone In and out Of the Capital.
You yourself, without realizing It,
apparently have your share Of
criticism and sarcasm. Sometimes
I feel that all my urging for toler-
ance and charity in thought and
action goes for nothing. Rambler
and +. v. must speak for them
selves. wouldn't presume TO read
their minds nor their bumps nor
their palms.
nEAp MISS FAIRFAX.
The Washington times., 1920-04-20
A Modest
Reply to A. B. c.
DEAR MISS FAIRFAX.

DEAR MISS FAIRFAX:
The letter In your columns today
from A. b. c. greatly interested me,
for I am almost q stranger In WASH
ington. haillng from THE Sunny
South" and Am terribly lonely at
times.
However, I feet somewhat as you
do. that this II too good to be true.
but l am willing TO take a chance.
for u sounds most interesting.
will not say anything for myself
except that I Am eighteen years old,
just Ave feet tall and am considered
a good dancer. have been around
In Washington enough TO know
where the better places are to
dance, and would be very glad to
help this young man out OF his dif-
ficulty. will not give any par
ticulars about my appearance or
dress. but II the young man II In
tsrested enough he can md these
cut for himseif DrMPLEs
The Washington times., 1920-04-20

Captain Swaab, whose letter you have read writes
earnestly and in good fighting spirit With of his
statements this newspaper does not agree For instance
his idea that competent Secretary of War; cannot be
man of peace.
Cromwell was naturally peaceful man. "godly
man" he expressed it. So far know, he is the
only commander that never lost battle.
Abraham Lincoln peaceful man, hating blood
she'd But he was bad commanderin chief and when
it the test he prayed that if it necessary
every drop of blood drawn by the lash should be paid with
another drawn by the sword.
We do not believe that 1t is necessary to have a
separate Cabinet officer Ito manage the air service In
the nation and in the human body ONE thinking machine
must have general direction in But there much truth
and great deal Of interest in what Captain swaab writes
for this newspaper He WON his fights in the air. went
back for more after being twice wounded It's pleasure
to give publicity TO his thought
The Washington times., 1920-04-20
He ARD ND SEEN

They are tonight launching q
boom in Maryland for HIRAM
JOHNSON for President. Takes
place in the State armory at Hyatts-
Vile, = reader notifies me. Hi 10 GER
tainly making 'eyn set up and take
notice all over the country.
Several fans speak OF what happen
ed to tho sign Of Adam Strong. Shoe
maker. Somebody put . period bo-
tween the A and d.
The Washington times., 1920-04-20
HOW TO BECOME A LIZARD.

The Editor and our readers
tired OF the lizard subject, but one
Of our fans, J. N. PURKS, sends In a
letter received by a young friend
from the Lizards Cake Eating Club
and Union" headquarters at 18th
and F, which will stir interest and
amusement The letter invites new
members and says that the require
ments for membership are these:
FIRST-You must have the LIZARDS
prescribed uniform.
SECOND-You must use Mary Garden
Rouge, Mary Garden Lp-Stick and
also LASH BROWNIE
TH1RD--You must have your hair grace
fully parted in the center; the oootis
path must be absolutely clear.
The Washington times., 1920-04-20

millions Of dollars on our air ser
vice, and with that money they
placed less than one thousand
pilots and observers on the front
in nearly eighteen months, al
though they had unlimited powers.
They made a miserable failure,
and now that the men who know
aviation from A to 2 want to rem
edy a serious condition, the army
general staff, like a group Of
The Washington times., 1920-04-20

Such . girl is a crown Of glory to
her sex dom my hat to her.
Where are the girls who love
Gods great outdoors? am some
what of a "faddist" on walking,
and on my many walks In. and
around Washington (and there are
30 many delightful routes), how
rarely do / encounter any of the
gentler sex. Girls who wish health,
a good complexion, a clean mind.
who wish to be of the different
type" class. should at least once a
week get out into the suburbs and
revel In the pure air and sunshine
provided so sbundantly. Why not
have girls form small companies
and together go out where the mind
and lungs can expand?
After the walk meet at the home
OF one of the company for q social
time--at a different home each
week. Girls who will do this will
not find rouge at all necessary.
A LOVER OF OUT-OF-DOORS.
This is q splendid suggestion,
and wish hundreds of girls would
follow it. Why not act at once.
One ringleader in the various Gov
ernment departments could do
wonders. A crowd with picnic
lunch boxes under their arms
could start for the park and have
a perfectly glorious Sunday.
The Washington times., 1920-04-20
THE LONGEST WORD.

Readers answer the question ~ to
the longest word In the English Ian
guage.
The following say that ''smilss'' 10
the longest word because It's q mile
between the nrst and last letters:
CHASE r. HARDING, HELEN n.
sTREETER. w. D. PAYNE, L. =. Cos
NEY, u. q. G.,SAMUEL PORTER, MAUDE
G. LADSMAN. LLOYD DAVID. VIC
TOR J. D., ADELINE MIKULES, TOM
CULHANE. IRVING BILLING. J. p.
w.
The following fans say It Is anti
disesta stablishmentarianis which CE-
GIL w. CARR says applied to . group
OF people with certain religious views
in England: PERCY FREEMAN. @.
z. D.. DEWEY PAXTON, I. MILDRED
CLINE, MARIE r. CASASSA. IRISH"
]. H. MICHAELIS thinks "dispro-
portionableness'' is pretty long.
ROBERT BLONDHEIM says DE
Ieaguered" is the longest, having a
league between "be" and red"
r. r. W., B. B. p, and ]. H. 8. say
rubber" is the word. because you
can stretch it."
GRAHAM MURPHY discovered
these:
TransmoTiincan msh ambmnity.
Trsnsmag nincanb ba ndanuslity.
KELVIN J. sPALbfNG nnds honor
ificabiiitudinity."
HENRY wIENECKE nnds "dime-
thylpheny nylisopyrazolon . product
made from coal tar.
The Washington times., 1920-04-20
DEAR MISS FAIRFAX:

DEAR MISS FAIRFAX:
Every day spend a few moments
In giancing over your courteous
advice to the women and girls of
Washington.
think most OF the letters writ
ten to you are not from girls who
have spent the greater part OF their
life in Washington, but from the
newcomers" They all want to know
what is wrong with this world,
and with the young men of wash
ington in general.
Did II ever occur to them that
most of the wrong can be at
tributed to themselves Most of
these war workers, from small out
of-town burgs, thought that when
they came to as large a city as
Washington, why, all their matri-
monial worries would be over. That
the boys" would all fall for them.
They have found things here differ
ent. The only reason many OF
them left their home town was be-
The Washington times., 1920-04-20

The difference between the Prince
Of Wales, q baldhsad man. an orphan
and q chimpanxee, 10 declared By
readers to be:
The Prince of Wales is an heir an
parent; . baldhesd man has nary q
hair apparent; an orphan has nary q
parent; chimpanzee has many hairs
apparent.
So say r. L. CALVERT, @. E. D.
J. p. w., and others.
CARL ]. PACK wants to know
whether the Rent Commission will
Be called upon next March to deter
mine who is to have possession of
the White House.
HERE'S A NUT FOR YOU!
w. G. c., a regular fan, gets off
some nutty stuff. He expresses a
wish to meet . 'half-educated" fell
low, with time to waste on arguing
Just Q plain argument hound, no
shark" he says. This ought to be
easy. He then contributes this:
Lets see, here's me- nve foot eight,
Smoke IKE sin. always grin. very snappy
Trick suits. shabby boots. wear derby hat
sailow face, some grace, never have BEEN
fat
Push pen. short on yen. wear -hirt .
week,
Fairly bright. sometimes right, no pals to
speak.
Married guy. legally dry. love an argument,
Want friend. One to lend; Thanks Bill
you're q gent
The walkout OF the Washington
railroad workers reminds me OF tho
section boss report Of train wreck:
"On again; on again; gone again"
CHAS. A. PETERSEN.
The Washington times., 1920-04-20

The man who drops a 81 bin in
front of q fat lady wearing a pair
Of overalls a bit too tight for her
is q mean man. MILO IL
The Washington times., 1920-04-20

DEAR MISS FAIRFAX:
The letter from ~ Different Type
Of a Giri- In your department OF
April = r. more than refreshing.
The Washington times., 1920-04-20
A SEPARATE AIR SERVICE?
Continued From First Column.)

school children, set, UP a howl 10
tell the world how terrible it will
be if the separate air service is
formed.
God knows that it could not be
more inefficiently managed than it
is under the army general staff.
and every student Of the situa-
ton knows that our greatest need
Of the moment is a separate air
service.
The Washington times., 1920-04-20
AMUsE YOURSELVES WITH THIS.
d npYrCE ATKJNSON the weIl-

r. BRUCE ATKINSON. the we'll
known architect, says that our pug
zle sharks" may find much amusement
In working out this:
Draw . square . inches on each side and
rule II of In blocks Of Y inch. making 81
thtee squares wide and eight SQUARES long.
Cut this piece diasonally corner to corner.
Then cut the other large piece diagonaliy
starting on one long side, three blocks from
the end to the opposite side three blocks
from the other end. Then put the four
pieces together into . rectangie 8 by 10
containing sS small squares WHERE
DOES THE EXTRA SQUARE COME
FROM?
Who knows on what days only can
The Washington times., 1920-04-20

Who knows on what days only Cal
centuries begin? B.
The Washington times., 1920-04-20

B.
Evening journal., 1920-12-09
BAN on PROFANITY.

CHESTER, Pa, Dec 9.-Profanlty
among the young men Of Norwood
borough has become so rampant. ac-
cordlng TO the leaders Of the Civic
League, that action was taken TO curb
the evil. The league adopted a reso-
luton, calling upon the men who are
Interested In the moral welfare OF the
borough to aid in the work Of stamp
ing out the evil"
The women Of Norwood have been
requested 10 take a hand In this re-
form venture and mothers, especially
have been appealed 10 to help The
league I'm its reform work. Mora
suaslon will be tried first, according
10 leaders OF the league. and II thf
falls, after a brief but fair trial, ar
rests will be made OF the youths whC
| indulge In the use Of cuss words.
Evening journal., 1920-12-09
wilson REFUSED
BID Of League
u. S. Not Member, Has No
Voice in Disarmament
Farley
Is IN SYMPATHY
WITH MOVEMENT

WASHINGTON, Dec. 9.-President
Wilson has declined the invitation OF
The League OF Nations to send dele
gates TO take part in the discussion OF
the disarmament commission.
The President informed the League
Of Nations Council that inasmuch as
the United States was not a member
OF The League he did not feel justified
IN appointing commission ITO take
even a de facto participation"
The United States, however. the
President declared. is in sympathy
with any plan for world disarmament,
The reply Of the President 90 the i'm
ViiatiOn Of the League Council was
transmitted through the State Depart
ment to Paul Hymans. president OF
the Council. It follOwsi
II have the honor TO acknowledge
the receipt Of your cablogram Of De
cember Z inviting the Government Of
the I'nit'd States TO name representa-
lives TO sit with the military naval
and air commissions Of the League In
a consultative capacity during The dis
cussiOn by the commission on the re-
duciiOn OF armaments, the cOnsidera-
tion Of which is TO be undertaken by
u forthwith at the request and on be-
half Of the Council.
The Government OF the United
States Is most sympathetic with any
sincere effort 10 evolve a constructive
plan for disarmament which Is so
necessary for the economic rahabili'
iation, peace and stability Of the
world. The President Of the United
states Is deeply Interested n this
question and Is most desirous OF co.
operation 10 this and but as the gov
ernment Of the United States is not 9
member OF the League he does moi
feel justified in appointing a commits.
sion to take even a de factO partici-
patton I'm the deliberation OF th'
Council or OF the commission acting
on behalf OF the Council in the eXecu-
tiOn OF provisions in the covenant OF
the League Of Nations"
The President has completed his
recommendation with regard TO IN,
boundaries Of Armenia and has for
warded them 10 the League Of Ma
lions in session at Geneva. 10 was SAID
at tho Slate Department. The recon-
mendalions were not made public.
As 10 the question Of mediation, I
Is understood that the President Wi
take no further steps until he receives
added instructions from the League
Council as to the method OF procedure
Evening journal., 1920-12-09

VIII n their great-grandfslhors were
born. but
Horse historians have traced the
family tree Of Man o. War back 250
years.
The empireless Emperor Of China
threatens % Kick over the traces, IN
not allowed 90 ride his pony. All
they'll let the ij-year-Old boy emp do
is TO lead the pony round the palac
yard. Which proves that 10 doesn
pay TO be an empircless emperor
Figures OF the Reading League are
In.
Book publishers have arranged the
percentage table
Sport editors take notice.
New York wins the ponnant. 81
Louis gets the cellar championship
Boston and Chicago are tied ioc sec.
ond place.
The standing: New York. 10: Bos.
ton. 6l2; Chicago, 672; Philadelphia
635; Detroit, $50; Cleveland. 400; Bal
tlmore. .ii5; ST. Louis. .3i1.
These averages are based upOi
numbers Of nonnction books sold II
those cities, as compared with fiction
/ The mentality OF the norucrOnis
being supposed 10 be higher
Evening journal., 1920-12-09
Homemade Remedy
Stops Coughs Quickly
s+-f&.s.s*Ss&+'t*s s''as.s-s's.sf4

The hest cough medicine You ever
used. A family supply easily aud
quickly made. Saves about g..
Evening journal., 1920-12-09
THE COJYIJM
MChiSLiR

You should worry about the way
your bus eats up The "sas"l Poor. old
Standard oil had TO hustle out ana
buy i5OOOOOOO barrels OF gasoline
from Mexico, the biggest gas" buy
ing deal ever pulled or.
An eastern reformer IS worrying
because he fears the practice OF Gav-
oring ice cream with extract OF va
nllla will fasten the rum habit on the
younger generation. who was It that
said II you had nothing real TO fret
about you'd run on a reel worryG
"sawdusl make fine food for cal
tie" says the Forest Products
Laboratory. lAnd just when so many
humans had gotten TO like breakfast
food
No one. though has Insisted thai
foreign dislike for Uncle sam Is due
saxophOne In every home.
Headaches are useful" insists DR.
A. W. Herr, OF Cleveland.
Headaches are nothing, so the dos
tor asserts, but red flags hung out al
signs that some organs are not func
ti0ning as they should. The reu flal
warns you TO slow up. take a look
and do something about Il.
IL Is estimated that over a blllol
humans are unable TO tell where o.
Evening journal., 1920-12-09
THE EVENING JOURNAL. THURSDAY, DECEMBER Q, 1920

also for a continuance OF the New
Jersey program Of permanently paved
highways. IN conjunction with a tun-
mel under the Hudson and the now-as-
surcd bridge over On Delaware. and
ment 10 minimize damage 10 high
ways and heavy penalties FOR viola
tions.
Evening journal., 1920-12-09
N. ]. GRANGE FAV0RS
DRY ENFORCEMENT

ATLANTIC CITY. Dec. 9.-Countless
farm homes are the happier FOR pro
hibition, which has removed a temp
tation FOR the farmers Of the future.
made farmhands more content with
their lot and enabled farmers cener-
ally Go command a better price for
their products. Alfred ~ Evans. OF
MasOnvllle, acting master. declared to-
day, In presenting the report OF Wal
ter J. Havens, his lately deceased
predecessor. TO the New Jersey
Grange, Patrons OF Husbandry.
The late masters message called
Evening journal., 1920-12-09
MOOSE DIRECTOR HERE TONIGHT,

Wilmington Lodge OF the LoyV
order Of Moose. Will be host tonight
10 J. J. Davis, director-general Of the
order; Ralph w. z. Donges. past
Supreme Circuit Court OF New Jer-
sew, and ]. W. Ford. past supreme
dictator and president OF council OF
Philadelphia. An elaborate enter
talnment has been ARRANGED for the
visiting officials and a class OF nifty
candidates Will be initiated. This Is
expected 10 be one OF the most not
able lodge gatherings OF this city
for a long time.
Evening journal., 1920-12-09
WHEN YOU BUILD
YOUR NEW HOME

We are told that building costs are
going TO approach pre-war levels as
spring building time draws near
There are many details that make or
mar the personality OF house ac-
cording 10 the thought that is given
them. The stairway Is one Of the
things your guests VIII notice ilPst IN
your new home.
Evening journal., 1920-12-09
STUFFED UP HEAD

Try this-Dlssolve teaspoonfh each
Brazilian Balm and salt In cup OF
warm water endn some OF this up
nose nicht and morning or when
needed. Few doses internally Will
help. often acts as a cold preventive.
Evening journal., 1920-12-09

The unusual feature about this
stairway is the arch. French win
d0ws or doors arg on the halfway
landing. The banisler is designed
along simple lines. The stairway, as
a whole, Is a very successful intro
ductiOn into a home.
Evening journal., 1920-12-09


You might be surprised to know
that the best thing you can use Tor
a severe cough, is a remedy which
is easily prepared at home in Just
a few moments. It's cheap, but for
prompt results il beats anything else
vou ever tried. Usually stops the
ordinary cough OF chest cold IN "a
hours. Tastes pleasant, too-children
like it-and 10 is pure and good.
Pour pa ounces Of PineX in a
mint bottle; then ill IL up with plain
granulated sugar syrup. Or use clari-
tied molasses, honey, or corn syrup,
instead of sugar syrup, II desired.
Thus you make a full pint-a family
supply-but costing no more than a
small bottle Of ready-made cough
syrup.
And as a cough medicine, there ls
really nothing better to be had at
any price. 1t goes right 10 the spot
and gives quick, lasting relief. IL
promptly heals the inhamed mem
branes that line the throat and air
passages, stops the annoying throat
tickle, loosens the phlegm, and soon
your cough stops entirely. Splendid
for bronchitis, Group, hOarseness ana
bronchial asthma.
Pinex is a highly concentrated com
pound Of Norway pine extract,
famous for healing the membranes.
To avoid disappointment ask your
druggist for "2h ounces Of PineX'
with directions and don't accept any
b thing else Guaranteed to give abso-
lutte satisfaction or money refunded.
The Pinax Co.. Fl. WAYNE. Ind
Evening journal., 1920-12-09
MORON cor GETs nAY-nAY

While Earl Cole. a State highway
policeman. was doing duty on the
kennett pike yesterday. a motorcar
sped past him al high speed. Mount
ing his motorcycle. Cole gave chase.
The mOt0rist set a furious pace, dash
ing from the pike into the city on
BroOme street 20 Fourth. where he
disappeared Cole estimates that his
quarry made from 5S 10 6O miles an
hour.
Use tho Want Ads for securing good
ofllce positions and agent assignments
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1920-08-05
CLASSIFIED-DISPLAY
HELP WANTED
Lining Makers, vampers,
Taekefs
MARsTON { BROOKS
HaIIovell
I67 Acre Farm

Horses COWS poultry. farming tools
crops anG furniture lncludeS-
II ruu EaYe S. eHh5 dollars here is
an 9ftpor- unity 20 invest l. This
farm : ~ IN improved ROAD : mile 20
village near school ana neigh tr0rs
mai delivered and cream taken at
door. sc acres DARK luznv machine
worked 1eiGs. wire fenced Spr1nE
waterod pasture for - COWS: est
mated -a4h cords If wp@d o. u -
pine 1r ana neIl ock thinner. -ah ire
2rple --eGs- EDu2E 5=EC-2g S-roPn
cottage house with piazza pA1aIed
white barn +hn5@. tool house ehxze
blacksmith SHOP @txS5- House AID
barn built Dew tpUr yeaFs ago FOR
E1bD4. Sl2nA down. VIII include :
horses COWS. helfers hogs 80
hens. moving machines are horse
rake > 1arn wagons. = snIkF piowS
Garruws- c2lt1Tators. double siees.
punEs sleigh -i6inE Wa ron. express
wagon. sets double harness riding
HARNESSES potato planter. potato dig
ger. Surayer. grain dr.li gram hinder.
broadcast st-ssler. s1slfage cutter
blacksmith tools. and sf1aIl Tools
cook stove heater ana ali furniture IN
house cords 0f SI8xs wood cream
separator ard all dsir-inE @quipr- e,it
Q aC-es c-oDs ard 90 IONS Of eygv.
FARM AGENry.
SsowheEan. Maine
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1920-08-05

BOSTON TERRTER-0nA year old
osrfsct mead. house ana auto broken
weight % pounds a great pei and
REX cog. Inquire at New Augusta
Gaia - Water ST. Augusta