The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-10-21
Bill Vines Worries About Desertion of Farms for
 Bright Lights Of the City

Mistur Edditur:
 The sensus returns air about all in and disclosses the fact that the United States of America has grown a bit in spite of the 18th amind- mint. We now have neerly one hundred and twinty milyun peepul, including the polytisians, and the Honorabull Thomas Watsun of Geor- gia.
 Frum a little insignificant handful of hardy pyoneers who came to this new country a few hundred yeers ago at the earnest request of King George or whatever his name was and theere+ relasions, who tackled the un- cultivated forests of Virginia and the festive muskeeturs of New Jursey togethur with the peevish Red Skin clad in brite sunlite and war paint. 7. and got away with it, we have be- cum a grate nason composed almost entirely of suns and Gaughturs of the Reyvolusion and boot-leggurs.
 We have large navy, consisting almost exclusively of ships and Jose fus Danniels with Admirel Simms as . side issue; we have an inflewen- siai standing army composed of pri- yates and cannydates for the pressi-
  that stands reesunabull chance; we have large and butiful cities which dot the scenery frum the Atlantlck to the Pasiffick wheere onse only wigwarms and the grizzly bear of commurse and the three-ring sircus dwelt. We have moor towns and vll- lages than theere air admindmints to the Constitusion, or resurvasions to the Ieege of Nasions; we have in stitusions of lerning, wheere the yuth of the land may golf they can borry the munny--and Tern how to munky with Greek and Latin and astron- nomy, sevven up, syntax, football and stud pokur.
 The gurls can Tern how to make a curtsy in which they gracefully phase theere left eyebrow on the Persion rug without disturbing the rough on theere delicate cheeks or displaying moor than yard and three inches of silk stocking. They can also becum profissient in tango and the shimmy and get on intimate and persunnel turns with the verry latest way to entur the parlour when theere air strangers present and how to shake hands at the propur ellevasion and in mannur which seys as plainly as wurds-'1 know you air not in our set, but this is dun to show you how refinned I ann
 They also Tern how to ware Frinch heels without an innosent bystandur suspecting that they have curviture of the spine and to smoke gold tipped siggarretts, in a way anh mannur so nonshallant and bland that it would get the unanimus endorsemint of college of Bishops; we also have Hennery Ford and uther naeens of transportation; we have railroads, street cars, flying mashines, talking mashines and wimlnin suffrage; we have milyunaires, multy- -milyunaires and labor unions: we have hywaymen, bankrobburs. baseball playurs, land lords and hotel keepurs; we have so- sialists, republicans, demmycrats, and { Wilyum J. Bryan--we have in short a wunderful summery of assets and incidentally sum liabilities
 All theese things and moor we have accumulated in addition to a large standing debt and the war tax-all of which inturresting data is furnished gratis by the Sensus ennummeraturs. The one big thing, however, that impresses the cassuel obsurver is the fact that our populasion has under gone a grate change. Tn the good old days the plain peepul of this repub- lick weer verry much inclined to ag- riculture-they accumulated large tracts of land dotted ovver with hugh red barns, grass covered meadows and furst and secund mortgages and theere and then they, togethur with the hired man. titled the fertile soil and brought forth grate crops with which they fed the peepul and the hungry hordes of Urope at a cost which compared with the present day seems a meer bagatell. In those days most of the peepul weer not so opposed to reel labour as they ap-