Arizona republican., 1920-03-05
EDITORIAL c. G. H.. Editor
THE OLE CATS TALE
Mister Editor, Dear Chief:

Mister Editor,
 Dear Chief:
 Well. Chief, I can just hear you say
 What, late again this week eh? Well, what's your stall this time, young feller? Granmother die again or was it your sister eloped with the iceman? and so on and so on in your sarcastical style.
 But honest-Chief, I got reason that's good excuse this time why we couldent get the paper out on time thls week and of I had only of heedlt my better Judgements and sold the car and bot back the old mare and rig that served me so faithful like l had mind to-then all this wouldent of come up and your temper wouldent be ruffled and all would be hunky dory as we say in Michigan.
 You see. Chief, this here car which I bot. when the man sold It to me ne representit to me it was lslS mode, but when he told me that he skipped a lot of ancient histry-which l dls- coverd when I got to digging around inside the grate steal monster, as lle sports writers is found or saying IL. But I was not to be non pulsed and just to show the pikers they couldent make a monkey out of me decldit 10 fix the ole bus up myself and then when I'd got the wagon fixed up fingered I'd breeze around to the 2nd handit dealer and his eye would of pop out of its sokits when he saw now I had slipped one over on him. That the kind of a guy I am, Chief A relar spfinx and never say die.
 So haveing decidt on plan of cam paign I coaxed the old boat (which Is a pet name they gives to highclass cars like mine) into the barn and went down and bot a little hand book en- tituled Auto Troubles X Their Remi- dies: In A Milyun Parts by I. Wreckem.
 You know me- Chief as man not found of wasteing my odd moments. and so I lost no time in reading this here treaty on auto troubles on the way home so that by the time I reached the house I had the subject pretty well on hand. Of course. my wide talents in evry line helped to make childrens' play out of this auto repairing for me, and so you couldent hardly expect nothing else than that I skimped through the book l spotted the very trouble that ailed my car on page II as follows: ''The CAM is a cylindrical form of metal with a pro- jection on portion of its periphery
 Of coarse, to the trained mind like mine this cam shaft idear with its mechism getting out of order due to  book, was a open book to me l knowed all along that it was the peripory on my car that was the trouble. So I got our neighbor's boy Otto to help me and We jaked the car up on blocks and started out to locate the perephiry according to the maps in the book with the cross missing to show the seat of the troble.
 Well sir, Chief. we finally located what couldent of been nothing short of this here periforater hiding out from us between the manyfolds and the osculating timer. and soon | lamps her I clamps my reneh on her and begun to pull, And vile I was q pulling on the rench and Otto was bringing up the rear by pulling on me-some dam thing gives way and the old bus give lurtch and. come down off the blocks onto the floor
 It missed Otto & me by just a hair's breath but the rear wheel come plum down on Rastus. who is our cats tail and pinned the poor devil to the ground. And the yowl he lets out would of curdled the blood of a poly tician, but I yells to Otto to get the jak and jak up the wheel vile I held the cat from pulling her tail off but Otto says he can't move the jak as it is damned between the axel and :l block and there was the car stuck so you couldent budge it and the cats tail and all.
 We done the only next best thing to of done and that was to try to push the car sidewise off the unfortunate beasts tail with 2x4 which we done and to no avail That cats tail was caught between a ceement floor and i non- sl<idding tire, Chief. and conse- quences was I hadda come to town