davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1920-12-02
FATE'S JOKE ON THE CRITIC
Woman Henceforth VIII Be Slower to
Find Fault With the Way other
Folks Dress.

a woman living on the upper East
side Of New York was being escorted
through West Forty-ninth street on a
recent evening on her way TO her
favorlte moving picture ho"se in
Broadway. TO her escort she re-
marked:
do look ar the skirt on the wom-
an Just ahead Of us. II is not hung
right. II Says on the left side and
bitches up on the right side IF !
couldn't put my clothes on better than
that ] wouldn't 90 out"
The speakers disapproval was
hardly voiced when she gasped,
clutcfed AT one Of her alps, then at
the other. then whispered tragically TO
her escort:
Mercy, some OF my clothing Is I'M
fastened. It's coming down right
here IN the street Dear me, what
shall do? Isn't there a hotel nearg
can't hold it up"
The escort steered her into q handy
restaurant and she FASTENED inside,
emerging in little while locking
greatly relieved AS the two took up
their walk toward the theater the
woman said contritely:
Guess l won't he so pert again
about crltlciEIng other women's cloth
ing and the way It's put on"
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1920-12-02
9 F E

The Interstate Securities Co has
been In the farm mortgage business for
over thirty. years. They have loaned
millions of'money-snd no investor has
lost one dollar Of principal or interest.
J r, Reynolds has represented this
company over five years with entire
satisfaction to those investing. There
is no safer investment than a well Sc
cured first mortgage on real estate. For
particulars please call at my Office,
22tf j. b. REYNOLDS.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1920-12-02
HOW IS A TOWN JUDGED 2

by watching the advertising col
umns Of a newspaper we are enabled
to know the exact condition of mer-
camille affairs and general prosperity
or depression in the town where that
paper is published. We can sit at our
desk and pick out the live business
towns and the dead towns There is
no better index 20 town than its paper
it is a better criterion to go by, and
is considered so by saRacious men,
than a photograph; il is the enterorise
Of the inhabitants and not the size
Of he buildings that make the town
You may pick up paper and read at
glance, We mean business or We're
deader than stuffed bird as plain as
though it were printed in ten line
plea and red ink across every page -
-Alger (OhioD News.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1920-12-02

The trampS were working the little
town together. They called AT alter
nate houses. and agreed to share the
proceeds.
As one waited at the gate of dear
little .uwer-ymbowered cottage his
hopes ran high Surely the people
who dwelt in dis peaceful spot must
be kindly
Got anythng?' he whispered eager
ly. as his pal came through the gate.
mo, mate" was the reply.
ibid you ten 'er that tale about yer
relatives all hrln@ dead, and that YOU
was a poor orphang'
Yes. And all she did was to offer
me some flowers to put on their
graves"
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1920-12-02
She put Them Away.

A lady who had been giving a party
told her maid to put away all the re-
freshments that were left on the tables
before retiring to bed. The next day
on looking the lady could not find
them and called 10 her maid Bridget,
what did you do with those things that
I told You to put away last night7"
sure, mum, and yez told me to put
'em away and / did. mum, and enjoyed
'em."
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1920-12-02
No One said

They were watching the baseball
scoreboard in front Of the News office.
They might have been well up on
their duties as voters but it was evil
dent they did not understand the work
ings OF the board.
Finally one said whats the score,
Nellie, Go you know"
Nellie replied:
NO. | don't dearie. l haven't heard
anybody say. indianapolis News.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1920-12-02
The Funny Man.

Jones met his friend Stimson in the
street the other night
"Hallo, old felloww he exclaimed
Chow are you getting on?"
"Pretty well, thank you" answered
Stimson but" he continued, 'Tve
something TO say to you-you'H have
to keep your eye open next week"
"How is thatT' queried Jones.
Because you won't be able to see
if you don't" and before Jones could
kick him he was out Of sight-Edin.
burgh Scotsman.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1920-12-02
KALOoZO'S CONCERT
is CALLED OFF
Advance Sale Of Tickets So Light
Managers Couldn't Make
Expenses.

"Yes, it's the end Of things" Maggie
continued, while tears welied in her
eyes. "Since you came TO town year
ago and started the fighting business
Cattolane hasn't stood for respectable
entertainment We used TO have a
real musical artist once in while,
but your fights have cultivated the
city's brutal tastes. This is the sec
ond attempt TO get a grand opera ce-
lebrity here and it's the second fail
ure, since Cattolane developed a thirst
for blood.
"Jim, I've tried TO put up with il,
because / cared a lot for you, but ]
love music and loathe fighting. So
there's no use Of our continuing"
Jim made the fatal mistake of at
tempting reconciliation with his bank.
book.
But look, Maggie" he implored,
displaying the evidence of his pros
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1920-12-02
The Worlds
Champion Singer
By r. RAY BAKER

90. 1920. by Mcclure Newspaper syndicatel
AS Jim Hennessey stood at TIE TOP
Of the brown-stone steps and stupidity
surveyed the white panels OF the green
door, 1t began TO dawn on him
through his daze that wooing Maggie
Walton and promoting prize fights did
not harmoniZe.
With a ring in his pocket he had
called that afternoon with an errad-
cally humping heart. He had been
greeted coolly, however and Mag e
had seated herself on the davenport
and glared at him reproachful apd
said accusingly:
Jim, this is the end of things
can't stand 1t any longer
He took the newspaper which she
held up and his eyes met the headline ;
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1920-12-02
FOR SALE

For sale or exchange stone store building
on High street i0h IL. frontage Six living
rooms above store, Good location for pool
hall or restaurant
The PROPERTY known as Ben VIM barber
shop, High street.
two story. ten room brick house in fourth
ward; arranged for two tenants This ia
known as the BenWiun house.
Comparatively new Eve room house with
summer kitchen. Two lots II Won are look
Tor a bargain you had better investigAtethis
large two story. nine room dwelling con.
veniently located 20 school business and
church. This property can be purchased az
a reasonable price for such property.
good seven room house On Hoard stree,
Has been built only a few years Electric
lights. large shop building
Six room dwelling On Spruce lstree, with
about one half acre Of land
House and two lots for sale At reasonable
price. This is the Mrs. Ann Callop pronetrv
In the fourth ward A No / residence lorsiio,
For terms and particulars cali At Tribune
Office or at the Office u J p Reynolds over
Zweifel's store
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1920-12-02
A SHOCKING DOCUMENT.
IInrNev'. WeeklY.

tthtNtA y " tthi1s
The report of the Shipping Board
investigators is one of the most shock
i1g documents ever laid before the
American people In all the war orgy
Of waste and thievery, there is hardly
anything to match its revelations Of
sordid imfsmy.
When one stops to think how the
decent people Of the country have been
pinching and scrimping, deprlving
themselves of this and denying them
selves Of that many thousands Of
them actually hard pressed, at times,
to obtain the bare necessities of life
in spite of the ever-mounting bill for
living expenses while all the time a
despicable crew of scoundrels, ranging
all the way from petty sneak thieves
to wholesale swindlers and robbers,
have made unchallanged loot of the
millions upon millions of money result
ant from this patriotic self-saerhce:
when all this comes home, as it does
come home in the Shipping Board
exposure. it is difficult 20 express in
any measured terms the Indignation
which the revelation arouses.
1t is no campaign document this
Shipping Board report. Not an item
in all the disgusting indictment can be
charged Off or discounted as an attempt
to make political capital. The election
is over. No partisan end can be served
by the revelations IL is cold recital
of carefully established facts,
And such factsl II the Shipping
Board report may be taken as fair
cross-secton exhibit of American
standards of official competence and of
our business integrity. then God help
America To anayze this miserable
mess which two specially appointed
Investigators for the Congressional
Select Committee on Shipping Board
Operations have spread before the coun-
try. involves exploration OF almost every
resort of commercial iniquity known
to man. Every crime in the calendar
of business yiiainy seems 10 be in
volyed, from mere sneak thieveTy to
murder itsalf-an particularly
cowardly form ot murder az that
"It is a comparatively easy thing,
says a report, TO accidently drop
bar or a wrench into a ships hold
when O straight time-keeper, or inspect
or is standing under
The reward of honesty under Shipping
Board Operations, in other words,
was that an honest mans brains were
knocked out Just how many Of
these cold-hooded murders were
committed is unknown, and viii remain
unknown. Just how many millions OF
the American peoples money were
stolen Is unknown. That too will
probably remain unknown, The best
that investigators can say on this score
is that the amount will perhaps run
into the billions
Just where official incompetence
leaves OIL and official criminality begins
in the abominable business is a problem
for the future to solve. Barkeepers
paid So, a year as book-keepers; a
private detective in a New York hotel
who never was aboard a ship and who
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1920-12-02
Wanted to Make Good impression

Il understand YOU kissed your wife
several times before leaving the house
this morning?' said the man to his
next door neighbor
Eyes; that's what ! did" was the
reply.
But I understand you haven't
kissed her for a long time before to.
day"
NO; that's so, l haven't, but we
are about TO get a divorce and I want
her to feel kind o. pleasant about it,"
-Yonkers Statesman.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1920-12-02
She Would. Of Course.

"wherc are you going, MaggieT"
asked Lizzie
"Tm going to the dentist" said
Maggie.
Are you going to have gasT"
well. rather" said Maggie. ~You
wont find me sitting 10 the dark with
no strange man. Houston Post.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1920-12-02
The proverb Refuted.

My husbands a doctor"
HAS he practiced long7"
Yes. but 1t hasn't made him per.
fect."-Boston Transcript
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1920-12-02
TRIBUNE
Real Estate Agency

Property will be listed and advertised in
this column free of charge. unless sale Is
made. lt sale e made. a commission will be
charged. as per agreement. whether sold BY
TINS agency, or the owner, or any other personl
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1920-12-02
Hiah.st Grade.

There are various grades Of Opt.
H.u the active ontimists are now
Hl'ed "peptimiSts -" Fpston
nt.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1920-12-02
co.woRKERs BAZAAR. DEC. 2.

The Workers OF the Congregation
al Church will hold their annual bazaar
Thursday, Dec 2nd. Supper served at
5 O'Clock
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1920-12-02
FRED CLARk's SALE.

Having sold my farm and sold the
feed TO the man who bought the
farm | will sell at public auction on
the farm 8 miles east of Linden and
3la uiles west of Mineral Point on
the Mineral Point and Linden road
Dec 6, commencing at 1880
80 Head of Cattle
16 milk COWS and three-year-old
heifers, to freshen in January and
February. z heifers coming two years
old. / Hereford bull coming ? years
old, II spring calves.
Horses
/ black horse coming years old
weight 1900 lbs. / black horse com
ing years Old weight 400 lbs
bay mare coming years old, weight
1900 lbs, / single driving horse
weight 100 lbs
81 Hogs
~ fall pigs, sows with Z pigs
each s weeks old
30 chickens
Farm Machinery
John Deere manure spreader, Nc.
Cormick mower. John Deere hay
loader, side-delvery rake, McCor.
mick grain binder, corn planter corn
sulBy, walking cultiyator, Xray sui
Ky plow walking plow breaking
pillow. disc, harrow, scales, 500 Ii
feed cooker, farm wagons milk
wagon, buggy spring cutter, bob
sleigh. lisht sleigh . sets work har-
ness, single harness. 2-30 gal milk
cans, cream can, cream separator
churn, wheel barrow hay rack, hog
troughs, grind stone. swill barrels,
and many other things not men
toned
An sums of ten dollars cash; over
that amount one year time on bank
able note az z per cent interest.
Lunch at noon.
FRED CLARK
p a. Bishop. Ructioneer
8. e. Bishop Clerk.
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1920-12-02
80 Head of Cattle

16 milk cows and three-year-old
heifers, TO freshen in January and
February. Z heifers coming two years
old, 1 Hereford bull coming years
old. II snring cAlYes..
Mineral Point tribune. (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1869-1938, 1920-12-02

81 Hogs

81 fall pigs, sows with pigs
each weeks old
80 chickens
The courier-index., 1920-01-09
HE WARNED FOR
 HIGHER EDUCATION

Col. Bill Sterett, formerly a we'll known Washington correspondent, inquired of an acquaintance on the streets of Texas town one day how he felt toward Gov. Ferguson's cam paign for reelection. Ferguson had been impeached and was running again for vindication, one of the is- sues being higher education. That lis to say, Ferguson opposed certain appropriations for the University of Texas.
 "Tm against him." declared Ster- rett's friends.
 What? I always though you were a Ferguson man."
 "So I was. But a little while ago made trip back to my home town out in the sticks and got converted. 1t was this way. There was a long haired sport around the place who had been cleaning up a lot of money playing poker. Now I happen to be some poker player myself, so when chance came l took him on. We sat down to little table in his shack and he got out a pack of old greasy cards. It was to be table stakes, and l had my whole roll with me for a killing-about seven hundred dol lars.
 "The cards were marked--a child could have seen that. It was done so clumsily, however-for instance, he marked king with K, a queen With a ., and so on---that l made no objection, figuring that l could read the hand as well as he could and he would have nothing on me at that game.
 Well, we started and for awhile 1t was ding-deng back and forth with out either of us winning much. Then l picked up bob-tailed straight king, queen, jack and ten. And, oh boy,. the top card on the deck, which would come to me was marked A!
 "l saw that the other guy had three kings, and as I had one in may hand and the chances against him filling full house were strong, just showed my whole stack into the pile, remarking it would cost him six hundred and fifty dollars to draw cards.
 Stranger says he, T reckon I got to see that And he put up the money.
 Well, we drew cards-one to me, two to him. But when I picked up the card marked A, found it was an eight. Of course he won the pot. was broke.
 q, Friend, l said as got up to go, there IS just one little thing I would hke to ask. How do you spell eight? He looked surprised. Why, a-t-e,' he replied.
 And since then, Bill, I've been Tor 10 higher education and against Jim Ferguson"
The courier-index., 1920-01-09
WHEN OUR EYES ARE OPENED

Collectively speaking, the Ameri- can eye is slowly closing to the path of honor, and right, and justice.
 To the one of greed, it is fam ing magnet which seeks to draw ev- erything of value within it's grasp ing folds.
 The insane desire to get rich quick ly has deadened the pulse of the nation, until civic and commercial virtue possesses about the potency of long dead jellyfish.
 This is especially true since the country plunged headlong into a sea of wild speculating and profit eering following our entry into the world war.
 Time was when we acknowledged that all men had rights which were to be considered and respected.
 But today most men accord them only to such as do not interfere with their own selfish ends.
 The craving for gold and its re- sultant power is destroying the re- fined sensibilities of mankind until the whole country is becoming de- bauched by the curse of the yellow metal.
 But some day our eyes will be opened-suddenly, rudely and re- lentlessly
 We will face internal conditions
The courier-index., 1920-01-09
THE PRIMARY DATE

The legislature ought to change
 the date for holding the democratic
 urinary, not because the change
 would be to the advantage of any
 candidate, but because a primary in
 August is about the most inoppor- tune time it could be held. The old date in March proved satisfac- tory. It gave the candidates time to make the campaign after the first of the year and get the election out of the way before the farmers got busy with their crops. With the primary set for August the canl- paign drags out all through the spring and summer. Candidates just naturally will begin work after the holidays and by early summer the issues have been made and the real fight begins. The longer the elec- tion is put off the more bitterness is engendered. It is not a good thing for the people or the candi- dates to be engaged in protracted political fights. There was no de- mand for the legislature to fix the election date in August, and common sense and the welfare of the people | should prompt the solons in the ex- tra session this month to amend the f law and set the date for March or April.
The courier-index., 1920-01-09

the like of which no loyal American has yet dreamed.
 If the trend continues downward. the soul of American manhood will be wallowing in a mire of insatlate greed and debauchery from which only the most courageous will ever emerge in any semblance of honor and purity in this life.
 Our government will face the task of restoring law and order in the midst of bedlam and wholesale dis regard of human rights.
 The editors of the country press, whose convictions are never smoth- cred under the muzzle of corporate creed. have long warned Washing ton of the ever increasing tide which flows only toward destruction, and they are sounding fresh warning today.
 Shall this warning be needed?
 Or will the government and the Congress just pussyfoot along until the proud head of the Amebican eagle is lowered to the putrid one of the buzzard?
 Today this warning may sound 
 Tomorrow it will be prophetic.
The courier-index., 1920-01-09
STAINING THE DEVIL

It is said the devil always claims his own..
 But there are times we fear, when even the devil will hesitate to claim certain undesirable specimens of humanity masquerading in the guise of fair womanhood.
 Out at Fort Sheridan, Illinois, are large number of maimed and broken heroes who fought in the world war and came home nothing but batter CT wrecks. Some have no legs, and others have neither legs or arms.
 About twenty-five of these hero ic but helpless men were invited re- gently to attend musicale in Chica- go which was largely attended by the women of high society. Some of these women protested against the presence of the crippled soldiers who had given their all for their country, on the ground that the iodoform with which their wounds were dressed was distateful to their aesthetic sense of smell. They even went so far as to write letters of protest to the lady who gave the mu sicale and invited the soldiers.
 Did the devil smile?
 He did not!
 He hung his head in shame-for even he, in all his diabolical base ness and debauchery, had not sunk 1 so low as that.
The courier-index., 1920-01-09
ROCKEFELLER AND OTHERS

For many years it has been GUS tomary when news was scarce to take a wallop at John D. If he gave ten thousand to charity, we if gured that he would salve his con- science by raising the price of oil.
 Whichever way the cat jumped, John D. would land in front of it.
 A few years ago the giving of million to charity would create a national stir. Today it is nothing.
 John D. gave a hundred million to philanthropy Christmas morning and by night the story was too old for repitition.
 But John D. is differtne from others. He scatters his money
The courier-index., 1920-01-09
ANOTHER FAMILY JAR

All the world knows that General Pershing and General Wood have about as much love for each other as an alley cat for a bull pup.
 And yet each, it seems, would not be averse to becoming president of the United States and the command er-in-chief of the other. !. When Wood and .Pershing meet they bow elaborately and paIaver politely and then duck their sep arate ways as quickly as possible.
 Each has his friends and admirers but to the public in general it is somewhat amusing.
 But family jars, you know, are all ways the source of much amusement to all except the family.
 Our great and distinguished gen. erals, finding no other fields to con- quer, will now proceed to devour each other.
 Sick 'emi
The courier-index., 1920-01-09
TRIAL OF THE KAISER

Periodically some story is sprung to the effect that the kaiser is to be tried, or that he is not to face his accusers, or that Holland will not surrender him to the allies.
 Then the story goes out that the ex-war lord will not submit to the indignity of a trial, and recently we were regaled with gossip to the effect that the imperial has-been is engaged in preparing defense. \,
 In reality, the old man is becoming about as big a nuisance to the read ing public as the peace treaty and the league of nations.
The courier-index., 1920-01-09

along. the quiescent citizen lulls to sleep, and the knocker helps to put it out of business.
 Which are you! :.
 Perhaps you have never given IL a thought. You may not reailze yourself which you are--but your .leighbors all know. They have you accurately catalogued according to your deserts.
 If you are a booster, the admire you; If you are quiescenr. they wonder when you will emerge from your slumber; and if you are knocker, they yearn for the day when YOU fold your tent and silent ly fade away.
 Boost the home town, and its cl- tizen will boost you. ,.
 Knock it, and you knock youreif Infinitely more.
The courier-index., 1920-01-09
BOOST YOUR TOWN

An ideal citizen is one who sees something good in his town and spreads the good news abroad that others may benefit therefrom.
 Of course, there are other side lights to the ideal citizen, but the quality of loyalty is one which pro- duces tangible results.
 There are three distinct attitudes which a person may asume toward the community which houses and feeds him-to boost, to remain quiescent, or to knock.
 The booster pushes his town
The courier-index., 1920-01-09
GET READY.
 FOR ''FLU'
Keep Your Liver Active s1iss yrsss rSl SyesSd coIds ! by y Taking ccsa,omsl calotasls' the Nausealess CalUS ms' Tablets, that are s 9s-
 Iightful, Safe ana
 Sure. G

pbvs;cians and Druggists tso;r a.s syJ, ,a' ;nr tbe;r friends to keep snf" 1" per's purlasu pIrarsine order as a protect7I'9nns 7'nsy kaos ,ha Wo'Ans retnrn of influenza. and a@d a l's' that ina a clogeed up system system and and seri0t' liver 1na favor colds, influen1a '
 complications. ,a overnight sn" .ns Y prevent n' serious sonpli;sRh pw;th a"s swallow Of water-that's all. nG an;ng after eftIs.ia efi.Sai, & 'ied and refreshed and ;.,t, y0u ' for bsess' ins fine with hearty apPs's1 dsIsS'ii dsSai rast. Eat what ySIgd yyoId plsds pony n "oFslss. ssn isasS s1ssS SasseEs'i SSasse:t $ authorized ss5 p :.r,ybted with C&'ctaps
The courier-index., 1920-01-09

Gov. Brough is to be commended for his splendid courage in putting the boot to Shaw, the recalcitrant mine inspector who declined to CO., operate in the movement to relieve the coal shortage. The Courier-In- dex is by no means an admirer of the governor, but feels like handing him bouquet for stiffening his backbone in his controversy with the impudent Shaw.