Atlanta tri-weekly journal. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1920-19??, 1920-06-29
Lafdner Fails to Interview
Bryan, but Gets a Nerve
Cure at Hiram's High
Pitched Home
BY RING w. IAEDNER

Copyright, 1920 for The Atlanta Journal
SAN FRANCISCO, June 2s-Wil-
lie Bryan hit the old burg Friday
and took a load eff of the party's
mind if any, as they thought he
might probably not show up and that
would make this convention illegal
in addition to useless.
Jimmie Montague, the poet, who Is
also my boss on this trip, asked me
to go to the Great Uncommoner's
room and get interview, so I went
to his room and raped and a voice
says, who is it and 1 told him the
truth, and the voice says, they's no.
body home. 1t was the same voice
that said we shouldn't ought to cru
city mankind upon a cross of gold
in 1895 or any other year This
year, he wants a dry plank in the
platform which means that prohibi
ton will keep on coming and cruelty
mankind upon a cross between ether
and prune Juice at twenty dollars
quart. Any way I didn't get no
interview. out of him, but I did talk
w {" wv VI CAAO uSlSSdISS ana the
idea now seems to be, the only
chance the Democrats got to win
this fall is to either nominate n
lady or else get a man with as cute
middle name as Mr.. Harding's
which, as everybody knows, is Ga
maliel. AS soon as this idea was
decided on, the head guys went out
and PACED all the candidates to see
whom had the cutest middle name,
but the results wasn't all that could
be expected.
Full Name Is "Ring Worm"
For inst they found out that Irwin
Cobb's middle name is Shrewsbury
and Sen Lewis's is Ham and Mar
shall's is Weasel and Gerard's is
Words or something and Coxs is
Waffles or something and Wilson's is
woodrow, and in fact pretty near all
the leaders has middle names that
begins with a W, including myself
but none OF them as cute as CANA
liel. So, being a pretty fair poll
escian by this time to say nothing
| about quick thinker, which L told
them, why not pick on me as their
candidate on this plank, because my
middle name also begins with a w,
but it's whole lot cutter than the
other birds and a specially when you
put into combination with my 1st
name, so they asked what was the
| com b1natlon and l told them Ring.
Worm, we'll that isn't truth and I
wont tell nobody what the real com
elnatlon is, but, the delegates have
tel Tor what l had told them and it
convention on this basis, that is pro
ylded l keep out of the taxicabs in
San francisco until it is time for the
NOMINATIONS. or other wise there will
nan .Sdi TO ne. put up a corpse for
they might just as we'll.
HOW Taxis Save Tires
we thought the taxi drivers in old
Chi was little bit slaughterous till
we seen the birds here, and they
m feren+ the . e Chicago e gS boys look diff
ttague and Mr.. Cobb decided we bet
ter go out and call on Hiram ".
Johnson and congratulate him. and
we got in taxi and the driver he
lleved In saving tiresC by only run
n aeff on one, one at a time, and was
back seat and even Mr,1Cobb cant
help lurching sometimes I'd I
looked like 1 would becofme ness
of debris and I knocked oan the win.
dow and asked the drivef if h had
ANYTHING vs. u.s., and he said no II
was pedestrians he was sdkter. So we
felt a little more safer, ~ no,,c
pedestrians he missed ?r he
got, and finely we "a sf
where they wasn't no .
So he .clumb up on Of -
private home in the he ,niq3t
catch young couple r III o''i .,n ~
knock them for hmt thn{y
wasn't nobody there or en- we