The Dolores star., 1920-10-08
By HOLWORTHY HALL,

take E" After the first preat eror,
,ne words came tumbiing, passionate
~ unchecked. 1T would have been
80 ihhnitely better for both Of us IL
IA never met you at all. NV life
n"S Deen whole series of mistakes =.
'S IN inc worst. =. The worst
vi course. 1t would be absurdly sim
PIE II l We're going away from Syra-
cuse' II l were going to leave YOU
mere and go-but I'm not. I'm going
10 stay here. And can't think It's
ueceht not to tell you now that II YOU
knew all | know what I've
oeen, what I've done you wouldn't
marry me If l were the last man left
10 ask you. =" He gestured i'm
patiently. Were childishly hopeful
sometimes . all OF us hoping
Tor what We know is impossible
what we know always will be impos-
sioie. I've been like that-and
what l hoped was that you could take
me on the basis Of what I've been
Tor the last few months since
July because that's the way l take
myself. Just Il mana man-llke
JACK Armstrong. | hoped we could
simply eliminate the past, and
| can't get away from it. It's on my
heeis every minute. It's what | am,
now hut II went much further
back thnn that. you and the doctor
would both think just what I do about
myself and I'd have to say good
by TO you anyway just as I'm do
Ing tonight. | hope you can see that
I'm not telling all this to you from any
other motive except to be quite honest
with you. Quite honest-for once. I
care too much about you to let you
live another day without knowing that
| can't 20 0n-it's over. I'm not
fit to be even your friend. That's
all"
She sat motionless. Hilliard had
turned back to the fireplace.
Were you as bad :. as that?" she
whispered
Once" he said bitterly, over his
shoulder. 81 used to be gentleman
But that was a long time ago"
She raised her head. Nothing
could ever make me believe" she said.
that you haven't always been just as
I've known you-since July. Nothing
can. and nothing will What you may
think about yourself makes no differ
ence to me. /"
DON'T" he said. and his tone was
agOniZed. Don't you see"
Il don't believe you" she said stead
lily.
Hilliard's voice was unstable with
his great bitterness of failure. "You
tntter me" he said harshIy. And be-
sides-you're wrong"
She was up. and beside him. smiling
bravely into his eyes. and he was fog
ging his will to keep his hungry arms
from snatchlng her from sweeping her
close to him. and
what do you think women are"
she demanded. with sweet imperious-
ness. Nothing but marble statues
or putty ones? Just made to stand
around and let the world 20 past.
without having anything to say about
it?"
He retreated to the wall in self-de-
fense. DON'T Don't! I'm the one
who's driven myself into this corner
not yOu"'
But you don't have to stay in it
always, do your
He stared at her in mystification. s
Don't be silly" she said. "and don't
he unreasonable; I'm not" She
touched his sleeve; his expression was
unchanged. Don't make me think you
arc unreasonable she said compass
sionately. IF you're not satisfied, why
emit you make yourself what you
want TO be? Instead of broOding over
the past, that you can't help. why don't
Won think about things you can help?
Living is about all there is to live for,
isn't it?"
He drew In his breath perlously.
"But I'm letting you 60" he said,
dnzed.
She stamped her foot in tremulous
severity. NO. you're not; l won't al
low 1t! Can't you see why? Do !
have TO tel you tIlil wen
becnuse I want you for friend even
If you don't want me"
want you" he cried. and remem-
bcred himself. and froze to immobility.
"Oh-as friend !"
"Surely. as frIend-what else did
YOU think l meant?"
The young man shook his head.
az don't know. Only l came up here
TO tell you haven't any right to your
friendship can't tell you why
I haven't as much callousness as all
thnt but If did tell you. your
last atom OF faith in me would be
pon. And you can't afford to have me
even fo- friend-now that I've said
that. can your
"Yes." she said steadfastly. Il can
afford It."
"when when I've told you
;" His lips were parted IN
omozedness. his eyes rOved DULY. Il
can't under I'm teiilng you
I'm not worth the powder to blow me
TO hades." He laughed oddly. That's