The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1920-09-17
A SHORT STORY

when l might just as easy let it trickle
into the cash drawer. But now and
then 1 do. Sometimes just as a lux
ury, because l don't like a face, and
then again-well, because l can't take
it and look in the mirror without
blushin'. Same as in the case of Rid
ley Hatch.
mo use, Mr. Hatch" says I, after
he'd been coming to the Physical Gull
ture Studio regular every day for
couple of weeks.
"Eh?" says he, bristlin' them bushy
gray eyebrows of his.
I'VE amt gettin' anywhere" says
|. And what's more, we amt likely
to-"
But why not, Professor McCahe?"
he demands.
l expect, too, that was my cue to
to shoot it to him cold. Any of these
Observation-Disclosures specialists would
have told him fiat, without battin' an
eye. But I'd rather not. Still, it was
plain enough how near the rocks he
was He comes toddlin' in here on his
swollen feet, his breath short and
puffy, bags under his eyes and his
face the color of cigar ashes. You
know rheumatic govt, arteries full OF
carbon, liver on the fritz and few
other little complaints. And he ex-
poets me to put him in trim by half
hour sessions with the medicine ball
and the apparatus.
You're making the handicap too
heavy, Mr.. HATCH says l.
81 don't quite get you, McCabe,"
says he.
Course, I'm only guessin'," says |,
but amt you hoistin' in the privte
stock kind of liberal?'
ooh, that" says he, shruggin' his
shoulders careless. Have to have
about so much to get along on. Used
to it, you know But perhaps l might
ease up little if you think that would
do the trick"
ut would help" says l, "but I
Judge there's other things you'd have
to skimp too. This A. M. stuff, for
instance. Kind of strong for the caba'
rets and the roof gardens and the little
supper afterwards, amt your"
"Oh, come" says he. Got to dc
something evenings, haven't l
Maybe" says l. Depends on what
you call evenin'. And after you've
turned sixty"
yes, that's all very well, McCabe, :
says he. But Mrs Hatch hasn't
turned sixty-bare-ly forty"
ooh, see!" says l. Then 1t amt
for me to map out any program. So
we'll just call it of"
But see here, Professor" he goes
on, I'm in no condition to be dropped
If you can't help me you can at least
suggest something, can't your"
Sure" says 1. You won't follow
it though"
Let's hear, anyway" says he.
We'll, says 1, where and how do
you live-house, apartment"
'Hatel suite" says he, "at the Plu-
toria. Big, airy, sunny rooms, nice
and convenient, too"
That's it." says I, too blamed con-
venient to the roof gardens and caba
rets. What you need is the country:
way out, where it'll be too long trip
to motor in after dinner. I'd prescribe
golf, too Silly game, but it keeps
you out in the open, and after you've
whaled around three-mile course
you'll be glad to hit the hay and
let somebody else stay up to watch
the Broadway chickens do the new
SILVER steps and consume fiilet mig
non at 100 A. M. That's my dope.
Swap your Looey cans suite for a
20-acre estate near some country club
and go to it with a niblic. After six
months of that l might be able to find
something to build on. Not that look
for you to do anything of the kind.
The midnight rounder habit is too hard
to break, specially when there's two
in the family that's got it"
Huh" says he, starin' at me, and
l could see that jutty chin of his sort
of stiffenin'. Think / couldn't Ell?
I'll just show you, young man. Get
your hat"
why the hat?" says I.
Want you to help me pick out
place." says he. ooh, l know your
time is valuable. I'll square that, all
right. Let's go.
must say hadn't figured on gettin'
in quite so deep as that when | u1i'
loaded all that near-expert advice.
But Ridley Hatch had sort of called
my hand Besides, he's one of these
impetuous old boys who wants what
he wants when he wants it, and gen.
orally gets it. He has the limousine
waitin' at the curb, too. So off we
goes.
About the second block he concludes
he ought to stop for a word with Mrs
Hatch, as he might be late gettln'
back. l expect it was the wise thing
10 do but when he comes out of the
hotel the lady trails along, too. She's