davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New-York tribune., 1920-09-26

tragic to be described here. AS the
Saturday Of our sailing drew nearer,
more trunks were dragged down {;
more cries were heard; the telephone,
which they know to be a devil, Jared
their nerves all day long. The type
writer, another devil, made strange
sounds at night. Their usual sleep
Of sixteen hours day was reduced
to twelve, because people broke into
their slumbers by shouting to each
other, where are my white ducks"
or, "Do you think one can buy tooth
powder in American" n%
So my cats retreated into dark cor
ners, but people pursued them to see
if anything was secreted there
which ought to be taken to the States.
They hid under tables; people tore
rugs from under their paws. They,
that had been what they'd been, as
Mr.. Kipling would say, prosperous,
respected, objects of adulation, be-
came wild-eyed, driven (but not
dumb) cattle, wretched spectators in
the strife. We did not say goodby.
Their spirit was too wholly broken
by the motor car outside, which sang
the song Of motor cars in unusually
loud tones. My last memory of the
Persian is of a ball of flame on the
top of wardrobe, whore nobody can
touch him, at least he hopes so. The
burning orange of his coat is as at
sunset feecy cloud. The black
lunes of his topaz eyes are stretched
by terror. He is banded as a bow,
lustrous and fearful; instinct and ex-
perience bid him venture no unwise
traffic with these human beings
whose feet are massive and voices as
loud as the Last Trump.
All our trunks are strapped upon
the car. We are NEARLY gone. I
turn at the door to look at him
once more, this flaming idol upon the
wardrobe. Already intensity is re-
ceding from the watery agate Of
his eyes. He looks at me reproach-
fully and he says: you're going.
A good riddance." For a moment
we say farewell thus. Then a new
thought enters his mind; he squats;
his pink tongue, like the petal of a
peony, edges the pale bluntness of
his nose. He looks away from me,
forgets me and begins to wash the
thick, silky fur of his flank.
New-York tribune., 1920-09-26
CHAPTER Nv
Anticipations

4 ND still l don't want to 20 to
IN bed. Can I already be turn.
ing into an American? Dc
not smile: we, in Europe, know that
Americans never go to bed. At
least my anticipations are as fol.
lows: 8 a. M, breakfast: green
corn; plenty of fruit; grapenuts
coffee. Ice water. Hike around
TIL 1:10 p. m. in taxis, motor om-
nibuses, underground railways and
elevated railways. Aeroplanes if
possible. Visit nine stores, one
cathedral, two dime museums. 1:10
to lis, lunch. Ills to $3.50, hik-
ing around as above. Visit four
stores and the movies. 2:3O to 4 80,
theater, 4. e., sitting still while
ether people rush about. 4:3O, no
tea, ice water. 4:3O to 6:45, two
receptions. one boxing match, four
stores and the movies resumed. Hik-
ing around in the intervals of these.
Change for these. 7:30, dinner
Blue points, canvas-backed duck,
'wafiies, pumpkin pie. Rush to thea.
ter. 1880, theater over; automo-
bile removes one lat 70 miles an
hour) to supper Blue points, can
vas-backed duck, ETC., as before. Ice
wategs Midnaghss 12Q.ssoysepoyEex
New-York tribune., 1920-09-26

The brilliant ". L. George, author
o. CsgibGn, is uery much in the pub
10 eye at present. This delightful
xssrattve soas sorittes BY him aboard
As steamship sokich brought him re-
ssssly from England to tho United
Stssss. 1t may surprise US that this
hIsnted ,criter delayed so long IN
eisiting The land of the free, but this
does not impair the fovor of tho ar
6cls. On the contrary, 1t gives 1t zest.
We lsorrs tvith deep attention that on
The other side of the aOoter 1t is still
common k'soatledge among many that
Amsricans eat green corn for break
iast, and that betsveen galIps of ice
watsr they lead q frantic existence
On asroplomss, "if possible" on mo-
Tor omnibuses, underground rail-
gays, elevated cars and taSis.
The American husband? The
American woma7,? Wkot is the life
R "these United States" sohere Mr..
George is going to spend the ns1t
siz months of his life? :
Is this most engaging of articles
hs tells us his anticipatioms, and
then, in o., illuminating little para
graph, giues as the first of his dis
eoveriss. IL is excellent reading fo1:
thoss pho desire to know something
a6oHt Mr.. George as q quriter, and
also Dhat he thought of us before
10 visited US.
New-York tribune., 1920-09-26
CHAPTER I
Moonlight Sonata

THE bows Of the liner rise
from the sea. The sea is
n dark as green plum. We
81 cut across the pathway of
sas moon that rides high. All sleep
spen the ship; it is the middle
sssch. All eyes are closed, save
those watchful ones upon the bridge.
am alone am mesmerized by
ths leadea waters that fall away as
parted walls, yield in silence, and
SeSaake our train. We move, and
y ss AZ II we moved not, con-
tented pilgrims and minions Of the
moon, Of the moon that draws her
nasTow snowfield across the salt, es-
ranging sea-
! am alone va a travelling island,
Scr an hour abandoned to me by the
crowded beings that make its anony-
nous cargo. For them speak the
slfn gold Of the taffrail lamps and
Re negligent voIutes Of swan-gray
smoke which linger behind our fun
aeis.' Indeed, our quadruple screws
ssvolve as hands Of velvet through
sea soft and complacent as space.
let the secret shouldering Of the
turbines, turn by turn, draws me
closer TO the unknown land. Ex-
perience approaches and ] am a
ite'e afraid; experience that ap-
proaehes has all its terrors and its
eompensations only in retrospect.
America is still far away, but her
encounter is inevitable. Does she
he already in the pallor Of the
asrizon beyond the breaking Of the
moor?
New-York tribune., 1920-09-26

Of the old woman and tell her TO 20
out and buy a shirtwaist. That we
haven't mind Of our own. That we
hang gifts on the Christmas trees.
That our way of doing business is
to knock at the wife's door and ask,
Say, Mamie, what do you want me
to think?' That's the American
husbands program, according to
the English" | protest that he ex-
aggerates. To which he briefly re-
plies: II didn't start the exaggera-
tion." Then he sketches me the
American husband as man of blood,
whose womankind tremble at his
frown, who returns from his daily
carnage in office or factory demand
ing to be entertained by pretty faces,
good clothes, pleasant gossip, and
who is not to be contradicted.
l seem to recognize this type.
Can it be universal? Can it be that
my vision of the American husband,
with a face by Harrison Fisher and
a soul by Gene Stratton-P Porter, is
also an eYaggeration? Are all my
ideas of America exaggerated? I
suggest this to the steward, but he
seems conscious of having been IL
beled in some obscure way. From
the heights Of his philosophic obser-
walton he describes a most unsatis-
factory America, where meals, NOR
ais and manners recall those of. the
continent I have left behind, where
idealism takes it's proper place in
the train of advantage, where people
make pianos and ashtrays, as we do J.;
play the first and fill the second, as
we do; where railway trains run on
wheels, and where cows have four
legs. This is most disappointing.
Such an expensive journey to find
in the New World only the Old
World-more so. I won't believe
it. America cannot be like Europe
she couldn't be so silly. America
must be different. She shall be diff
ferent. To me, Columbia shall be
the Gibson Girl. She shall embody
all my illusions, even though the
steward says one doesn't acquire
new ones as one goes on. Is he a
wise man, or just man embittered
by his life between two worlds, like
squirrel in a wheel at the mercy
of the turbines, between two worlds,
and of none? So I leave him. He
loads me with no final message. In
direct sentences he has said what he
had to say, using the word yep"
only once, and the word "Nup" not
at all. Already he is returning to
that state of wakefulness which so
successfully conceals slumber.
New-York tribune., 1920-09-26
CHAPTER II
The Steward Orasea

DO not want to 90 tobed. I have
u no complaint to make against
my cabin, know, but / cannot
'p thinking of the sea chantey that
sasisnd harrington made popular:
xsu bark your shins, you
~ bump your head, =
S~ar knees are up 10 your moss
! want all through this blazing
= mmsaf1to walk the promenade deck
sss ROW belongs 10 me and by day
songs to 50 many people. The
kssas ship 10 a crowded city; by
a'ss she is q derelict. Still, what's
as seod7 man must sleep away one
@,rs OF his natural life. So To
- Dir. Pspys would soy. But,
IN u % : sssssys o figure asatsd In
New-York tribune., 1920-09-26

conscious thar, while this gliding
liner takes me toward America, it
takes me away from England, from
good-humored tolerance and boiled
leg Of mutton. These two items are,
I think, fairly comprehensive def
milton of England. I wonder what is
happening in the house l left behind
me. Are it's temporary masters chip
ping the paint? Upsetting soup upon
the carpets? But my house was al
ready middle-aged before Queen
Victoria ascended her throne. 1t has
stood aint-chipping and soup-spill-
ing for generations, and taken it
with aloof superiority, as is the ma
ture of an English house. My house
will go on as usual, while / race to
the fortieth floor in express eleva-
tors. What this English house
doesn't like it will ignore.
But the live things? I find my
memory filled with two partings.
One from my son John. He is bur-
ly John Bull, twenty-five months old,
animated solely by desire for silver
things that glitter, tins that rattle,
and, unfortunately, cats that scratch.
My son John enjoyed our departure.
He. was delighted when the Saratoga
trunk crashed down a flight of
stairs. He liked the agitation.
He created a fine collection of OBJ
jects dropped in the hurry He also
quietly packed in my cabin trunk
some vegetable items>from the kitch-
en- which I could have done without.
No, John doesn't know that to go
away is to die a little. 1t is true that
he is staying, not going, so he doesn't
care-he is young enough to perceive
only delights and to experience few
pains. And yet, with brutal senti-
mentality, we tried to make him per-
ceive pain. l have in my mind a
picture of my wife, determined to ex-
plain to him that we were going to
America for six months, and asking
if he wasn't sorry. But he showed
no emotion.
My cats are different. Those two,
the Persian and the Russian, they
know that to go away is to die lit
tie. Quite week before anything
began they suspected that something
was going to happen. They observed
that our feet went quicker. Drawers
were opened which are generally
shut; when my domestic fauna
climbed in to investigate the contents
of these drawers, as is the way of
all cats, they9were received by the
smell of naphtha. This, being from
their point of view an intentional in
suit, drove them to the top of the
house. They no doubt expected that
in time things would settle down.
They are cats who know life; they
have lived through dancing, the
piano, the gramophone, and even ba-
bies. But things didn't settle down.
Heavy cubic objects, made Of leather,
were dragged about, creating an ef-
feet Of Wagnerian horror. People
began to shout up and down stairs.
My cats cannot bear shouting, their
vision Of life is an endless series of
velvety days, when nothing happens
except meals, when the sun comes
punctually to warm them, and when
even the mice are at rest.
The tragedy aR asg cato 10 Zoo
8s..ss 49,. W.
New-York tribune., 1920-09-26
CHAPTER III
Dependents
&STNO GO AWAY" said French

&6TNO GO AWAY" said a French
writer, els to die a little" I"
Then, if the converse be
true, to arrive is somewhat to be
born. am ready to believe this, to
believe that when this ship moors
under the shadow of the Statue of
Liberty (what forid rhetoric! but
Englishmen have to say that sort of
thing) shall be conscious Of rebirth,
Of an intellectual childhood which
American experience must inform.
I hope 10. Still, to go away is to
die D Nttles and I cannot help beiug
New-York tribune., 1920-09-26


before I have done I shall try to
obtain small glass Of lemonade and
find that I have been put through to
the Governor Of California. It is
all going to be very modern, as well
as very swift. And I'm not wholly
modern; I haven't even been up in an
aeroplane. And the bill! You've mo-
idea how terrified we are Of the
American bill. Mr.. Arnold Benneta
wrote little book on how to live
on twenty-four hours day, but ON
how to live on S24 an hour he main.
tains, in his delightful book, Those
United States, regrettable silence.
And I understand that I shan't get
my boots cleaned for six months. IL
is going to be very exciting.
The Vision of the Cinema
am afraid that part of our visiod
of America comes to US through ths
cinema, and the operator does turn
the handle so fast. He opens and
closes so many doors simultaneously.
He piles before our modest European
eyes such costly furs, upon such
beautiful women, in such enormous
automobiles. Can it be that the Gin.
ema exaggerates? Surely there must
be an America both sleepy and
! cheap! AS | look at the map and
read names such as Concord, N. H.
op-Greeley, Colo, I tell myself that
this modest lettering cannot repre-
sent a cinemic America. But rumor
and the cinema are too strong for
, us, and there rises before my eyes
a vision of the really rich mans
home, combination by Frank Nor
ris and Miss Lillian Barrett. Ii
stands on Fifth Avenue, or on River
side Drive; it has a forecourt Of
Byzantine mosaic rooted in Carrara
marble. Columns. Fountain. Gold
fish. Staircase of wrought iron, from
a French Renaissance chateau.
Black oak panels, linen pattern, from
ducal mansion in Somersetshire.
Drawing room: Walls upholstered
in George III brocade, Marie Ana
toinette's own chairs, Chopin's
piano, Omar Khayyam's carpet. You
see, we think you very rich. We are
also impressed in advance by your
achievements in comfort. We
imagine the rich Americans bath
room: Walls made of plate glass,
crystal bath, gold taps. Of course,
sixteen appliances for hot water,
cold water, scented water, medicated
water, Russian bath, Turkish baths
shower bath, needle bath; the. oell-
ers do not occur to my European
simplicity. And so on. Beyond the
house the garage for the autonno-
biles, the hangar for the planes, the
kennel for the late Empress Of
China's Pekingese, the stable for the
Derby winners. Yes, the European
imagination does get some way when
it dwells on real American luxury.
when it encourages it's vision of the
Gainsborough in the servants hall.
and Of the Velasquez in the kitchen,
1t creates picture of America that
is midsummer madness, pageant
OF wealth, energy and fantasy. Is
makes ready to meet the roughness
Of the Virginia pioneer, the sophis.
tication of the aesthetics OF Green
wich Village, the octopus struggle Of
Wall Street, and the repesefuI lawns
of Harvard and Yale. It creates the
American scene in the highest colors.
1t prepares to enter what MFR. Wells
calls the pleasure cities. It figures
a country together Oriental and sci.
entific, a dream and q business. too.
CHAPTER v
I Arrive i'm New York
T HAVE now besn twenty.Scun
L hours in New York. Thars
4 Y ~
New-York tribune., 1920-09-26
gives one something to look forward

gives one something to look forward
to-"
The steward stares at me cyni-
cally. swell, all that sounds kinder
familiar. >Pity you weren't over on
the Fourth. Cause that kinder
talk'll stay in the cyclone cellar I'M
til next Fourth"
"You don't mean that democratic
institutions 2"
care, you might say, an annual
occasion. That's so."
"But, look here, you, an Irishman,
you've got no illusions about Eu-
rope?"
The tanned skin for the first time
creases into smile to reveal sew
eral gold teeth. "Illusions?" he says.
"Well, ! was boob once, but l amt
collected no new illusions as I went
along. Illusions don't grow in the
U. s. A. America may be the land
Of the free, but it amt the land of
free drinks. ] got a hunch that's
what 'Englishmen think when they
cross over. They find out..''
Women and Morals
The brief pronouncement is little
discouraging, so l shift the conversa-
tion to'women, ground together
more sympathetic and more famil-
lar. "1'm told that am going to
be dazzled by the beauty Of the
American women"
81 reckon you will. You'll see more
live things on Broadway in an hour
than you'll have time to break your
neck over in ayyear."
ooh" I protest, "I'm not going
over with Mormonic Intentions"
"Better not. You'd have the cops
after you if you did," For the first
time enthusiasm enters the stewards s
voice. "You know, you can't get
fresh in the States. Knocking around
in London and Southampton as do,
it sort Of makes you compare things.
One thing an Englishman's got to
realize is, Americas pure"
"But," cry, "I've been reading a
novel about seamy New York by
David Graham Phillips"
"Never heard of him."
"Well, there's Reginald Wright
Kaufman"
"Novels amt true, are they?
don't know why anybody wastes his
time over them."
"No more do l." / reply with un-
derstanding. "But stranger must
get his impressions when he can, and
the little I know about American
women I can only get from books" "
"American women" repeated the
steward meditatively, "they're like
the rest. Women are all alike. Some
are worse"
"That's rather a cynical view,"
remark. "But don't you think the
American woman may be different
from the others? This boat is full of
them, and already I seem to have
,,o%;caI a eor;o,,,vo,, ,v,o ~o% o,.,,.
toned to in their English sisters, a
desire to inform themselves, an in
terest in literature, and ideas, a
keenness which is quite new to me-"
1T won't be new long," replies the
steward, bitterly. Then, cautiously:
"of course. if you've married an
American"
I reassure him. I even make an
allusion to the American husband.
AS he is an American husband this
seems to inflame the steward. He
evidently has a grievance.
"People come over" he grumbles.
"They kinder stick pin through the
American. Like beetle. And put
him in museum. With a label
round his neck: American husband
Guaranteed not to wear and tear
/ laugh. This does not mollify him
"People in England say to- me that
the women have it all their own way
in America. They aeem to think we
throw % million dollars into the lag
New-York tribune., 1920-09-26
CHAPTER v

I Arrive i'm New York
T HAVE now besn twenty-Scun
Il hours in New York. Thare
seems to be- someshing wrong
with uay anticspasiona.
The Washington herald., 1920-02-17

HUGH CAMPBELL WALLACE.
Ambassador to France since
the resignation last year of
william 0raves Sharp. He was
born In Lexington. Mo-. Feb
ruary 10. 1863. and married Mil
dred Fuller. daughter of Chief
Justice Melville w. Fuller. of
the Supreme Court of the United
States. in 1897. member of the
Democratic National Committee
In 1892. in 1896 and again in
1916, took a prominent part in
campaigns in 1892, 1912 and
1916.
The Washington herald., 1920-02-17
NAVY TO START
CLEARINGHOUSE
Assistant Secretary Roose.
welt Demands List Of In
efficient Workers.

Forestalllng an anticipated act OF
Congress when II takes up the recon-
mendations of the Reciassificatson
Commission, the Navy Department.
In an order promulgated by Assistant
Secretary Roosevelt. has taken an
initial step in the wedding OUT Of
inefhcient and haif-hearted workers-
The notice was sent out by ~the
secretary TO navy yards andsto every
bureau of the department. 1t is de-
signed to place the Navy Department
on a basis Of strict efficiency.
The heads Of departments are al
structed in the order to make a sJr-
vey OF their respective forces anu TO
hand in the names OF those empio res
who do not measure up to standard.
Roosevelt refers to the fact tnat
the morale and efficiency OF the de-
partment has been lowered through
the influx of new workers and that
tardiness and absence without leave
had become so aggravated in some
instances that disciplinary measures
had proven Lnavailing.
While there is no doubt that other
departments will attempt to 'pat
their house in order" in anticipation
OF Congressional action on reclassifi-
The Washington herald., 1920-02-17
CLARK TOMAKE
DECISION SOON
Leader, Back from Mis-
souri,, Says He Will An
nounce Plans.

Champ Clark will decide definitely
within the next few days whether he
is going to be candidate for. the
Presidency or for the Emitted States
Senate The former Speaker made this
announcement OH his return yesterday
from a campaign tour in Missouri.
Clark's work in the Third Missouri
district is said to have been largely
responsible for the election of Capt.
J. l.. MilliGan. Democrat. over John
f. Frost for the seat in the House
made vacant by the resignation of
former Representative Alexander. who
was appointed Secretary of Commerce
by President Wilson.
His appearance in the House yester-
day afternoon was greeted by a pro-
Ionged demonstration on the Demo-
cratic side. Some of the Republicans
Joined in the applause. and as 1t sub
sided, Representative Walsh. Repub-
lican. of Massachusetts,, who was
speaking. said:
ITO prevent the Record ,nfrom
showing this generous applause to
be intended for my remarks, l want
to note that 1t is for the distin-
guished gentleman from Missouri
Just back from Elba, and that the
applause is in recognition of his
work"
1t is known that great pressure
has been brought to bear upon Mr..
Clark to run for the Senate against
Senator Spencer, Republican. Some
of the former Speakers closest
friends and advisers. however. are
insisting that he stand for the Dem
ocratic nomination for President.
He looked into political conditions
back home" and is now ready to
make public his campaign plans.
The Washington herald., 1920-02-17
Mental Work
Needs a Stomach
Great Mistake to Imagine You Can
Work Better and Faster on the
Starvation Plan. Eat What
You Like But Follow
With Stuart's Dys-
pepsia Tablets.

Mental work uses up energy fast.
And energy comes from food. To
eat little or nothing In order to do
more work is a fallacy that has Gre
ated an army of dyspeptics. A bet
ter plan is to eat the regular por-
tions of food such as make up the
average meal and follow each meal
with Stuart's Dyspepsia Tablets.
You will then get a double benefit
energy from food and sociability
with meals, for as a rule, the light
eater, or those who skip meals, get
into a bad habit. a rut, of hermit
like isolation. Do not be afraid of
gassiness. sour stomach, heartburn,
heavy feeling or coated tongue af-
ter meals. Stuart's Dyspepsia Tab
let's. arouse the stomach to secrete
the juices necessary to relieve these
troubles that so frequently distress
the mental worker. They contain
harmless Ingredients which act with
an alkaline effect. so you may eat
the rich things of the banquet or
the savory sausage for breakfast
with utmost freedom.
Get a 50-cent box of Stuart's Dys-
pepsia Tablets at any drug store.
eat freely CT what you like and YOU
viii do more and better work than
on z skimpy, diet. Try this plan.
--A0Ns :.
The Washington herald., 1920-02-17
War Department Talks
Staggered Labor Hours

Steps to relieve street car con-
gestion by reviving staggered
working hours of wartime DAYS are
being taken by the War Depart
ment. where approximately %. 900
employees would be affected.
Officials of the denartmant ,ra
considering the feasibility of diyid-
ing It's employees into three groups
TO report at S.45. and s:15 O'Clock,
instead Of all at O'Clock.
Efforts have been under way for
some time by District officials to
induce government departments to
revive the staggered" hour plan,
and at one time it was made the
subject at a cabinet meeting. The
cabinet members referred the ques-
ton to their chief clerks.
The Washington herald., 1920-02-17

FRANK LYON POLK.
Now Under Secretary of State.
He came to Washington in
September. 1915. as counsellor
for the Department of State,
prior to which time he was cor
poration counsel for New York
City. He is the grandson of
I,eonidas p. Polk. the fighting
bishop" He was born Septem-
ber Is. 1871, and is a graduate
Of Groton School. Yale and CO.
lumbia.