Cayton's weekly. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1916-1921, 1920-08-14
STOLEN FROM THIEVES

Rivers said the American, "why your
rivers are nothing to ours Compared with
our Hudson and Mississippi, your Mersey,
Severn, and Thames are sleepy, sickly
streams" ooh, come' protested the Eng
lishman, 81 think your rivers are just as
sickly as ours ''How do you make that
out?' "Well, they are all confined to their
beds,' replied the visitor.
General Peyton G. Harch said at dinner
in Philadelphia, apropos Of military argu-
ment "It is hard to argue with our oppon-
ents. They more unreasonable than the
lady who missed the train. we wouldn't
have missed it, the ladys husband growled,
If you hadn't been so long in dressing.'
Yes she said, and if you hadn't hurried
me so, we wouldn't have such long wait
now for the next. 80
TO the rear door of the house of lonely
spinster in a Pennsylvania town there re-
Gently came seedy-looking person who, after
being given some food, made so bold as to
proffer this additional request: ''Missus, ask
your husband if he amt got an old pair of
trousers to give me?' Whereupon the spin
ster, anxious not to expose her Solitude re-
piled: 81 am sorry, my good man, but he
er-never wears such things.'
Frederic CORTLAND Pengeld, the noted dip
lomat and author, was discussing at din
ner in Philadelphia his campaign against
profiteering tailors, when a young matron
said mischievously: "Mr. Penfeld I'm as
tonished to see such learned person as your
self going in for anything so frivolous as a
campaign against the high cost of clothes.
Clothes don't make the man. Mr.. Penfield
laughed. "Indeed they don IT," he said
"Nowadays they break him.
He had escorted her home, and they stood
together by the open door. What mattered
the cold to these pulsating lovers? What
mattered the icy wind that entered from the
street outside and threatened to extinguish
the Pickering hall lamp? What, in fact, mat
tered anything? For their last moments had
arrived and they would not meet again for
twenty-four hours. ''Heart of my heart, "
he whispered, chow love you'll "And how
I love- you.' she whispered back. ''ight of
my days, light of my thoughts light Of my
very existence light Lucy,' shouted her
fathers angry voice from above "just put
out that light at once and get to bed
NTethodists attending the North Indiana M.
f. Conference in Richmond were discussing
what had become of number of the old
time ministers they had known. "When the
cost of living became so high, said one OF
the group, "our pastor resigned, went to
live on his farm and now is in the dairy
business'' ''And I suppose" said another,
che now sells pastorized milk'
An Irishman fresh from his native coun-
try was going to situation in Liverpool.
Feeling puzzled how to secure his ticket at
+lo orc no to
watch some one else obtain theirs. Presently
he heard woman in front of him ask for
ticket" Mary Hill, SINGLE - ''Be iabbers,
I have it, said Pat Boldly stepping up
to secure his ticket he exclaimed. 'Pat Muir
ply. sir, married"
Little Timothy went to visit his Aunt
Elvra. Identified and severe woman who
owned parrot. One morning, coming I'M
expectedly upon Timothy and the bird, she
was horribly shocked to hear the little boy