davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1920-06-03
He A RD AN EEN
MAKING "YOU TELL EMS

MAKING "YOU TELL EMS"
The manufacture of you tell
ems" is now one Of the leading in
dustries of the country, particularly
in Washington. Heard and Seen
writers lead in this industry. as
witness these:
BY GEORGE L. GORDON
You tell 1T. organ grinder. it's your turn.
You tell 1t, door bell. you've got pull
BY NJ NJ. BERNSTEIN
You tell 'em. banana peel, you can slip
You toll 'sm. magazine. you know the
You tell 'em. boraI. you have the
You tell 'em. match. you've got the
BY REBEccA KRoNMAN-
You tell EN-. sugar. you're high enough.
You tell ,em. table. you've got the legs.
You tell 'em, Atlantic. I'm too Pacific.
You tell 'em, simms, you know The Eng
You tell 'em. Montana, I must sec Ida no.
You tell 'em. Burleson. you have a slow
You tell 'em. smoot. you do the printing
You tell EN-. Wilson. / don't belong to
You tell 'em. Bryan. you're = good run
You tell 'em. Long Island, you've got the
You tell 'em. Congress. you have the
You tell 'em. Mississippi. you've got the
BY BIRDIE H.. Del Ray. Va
You spill it. water. you're still wet"
BY C. J. MENASCO-
Scratch your own ticks on. clock. you've
got the hands.
BY @. II. M
Nick Altrock to Joe Judge-You tell 'em
joe you're a good Judge.
You tell 'em, postofnce, you have the
BY CARROLL FIrzaERALD-
You tell 'em. teacher, you've got the
class.
You tell 'em ssssors, you've got the cut
You tell 'en. rasor. I've got the mug.
BY WALTER F.
You tell 'em. ukeiele. I'm . iyra
BY w. d. BOYER
You tell 'em. hollow tooth you've got
You tell 'em. hymn book. you've got the
By DICK r.
You tell 'em becfste eak. you've got the bull
You do IT, watch. you're not alarmed
You tell em. bull frog. you've got the
hops.
You tell 'em. big gun. you've got the
range.
By STUPID STEPHEN
| You tell 'em wild rose, I'm rambler.
The Washington times., 1920-06-03
TO MISS MARYLANDER:

TO MISS MARYLANDER:
The answer to your letter ap-
peared Tuesday, May 18th. You
can secure a copy of The Times Of
that date in the business office Of
The Times. Your letter was sign
ed "E. F. G.. ard Her Mother"
The Washington times., 1920-06-03
YOUR LAP LAPSES.

Your lap simply lapses when you
stand up. observes s. T., and NJ. W. n.
says IL goes to LApland
The Washington times., 1920-06-03
SAMPLES OF INCONGRUITY.

SAMPLES OF INCONGRUITY.
Here are a few samples Of advertis-
ing conceived in good intentions but
ending incongruously:
collins Brothers, undertakers. Ask
those we have served"
Moonlight picnics in this grove
every Wednesday night, rain or
shine"
Well. Bill. "I'd rather be a nut in .
nut factory than a cockroach in the
Hall of Fame" MRS. H. L. r.
LOUIS ]. MANCUSO tells John
r. S., whose girl went back on him,
that the best thing he can send her
as a wedding present is q lemon, al
though she may have drawn one in
her new husband.
KISS DEFINITIONS.
Teacher-"What is a kiss?'
Scholar-"Nothing.d divided by two.s
Teacher-"It's a two-faced affair.
think"
Scholar-"we are both wrong. It's
a sacrifice hit for a girl" c. G. B.
l went to the Capitol to see a
gentleman from my State but could
not get near him. ! merely wanted
to talk to him about the bonus. II
we can't see them in Washington we
will meet them at the polls in No
vember.
F. C. MORRIS,
Wounded Soldier.
The Washington times., 1920-06-03

MRS. ANNIE HARDING, - years
old. ss7 Maryland avenue, where she
lives with her brother, GEORGE
WATTS, attended Memorial Day ex-
ercises at Arlington. She attended
the first Memorial Day observance
there in 1858. As Mrs. Harding re-
members 1t, Gen. John A. Logan was
the principal speaker. She and her
friends walked to Arlington and back
on the first Memorial Day.
"We're going to marshal all to
Marshall Hall on Friday, June 4th,"
is the slogan Of the Business High
alumni for their fifteenth annual
excursion.
You tell 'em June, but don't July.
LEON GORDON.
The Washington times., 1920-06-03
THE HEN OR THE EGG.

As to whether the hen or the egg
came first in the world. Just read:
The egg, for when Noah APP
preached the shore he made the. ship
lay too (two). l.. LEEcSE.
The hon vas frst-W. ID. PAYNE
The Washington times., 1920-06-03

me from room to room. She 10
healthy and very bright. have q
lot of leisure time. and could care
for a couple more children during
the day for some mother that works.
Even a widower that has no one to
look after his children. / prefer
girls and think this would help bring
my little girl out; or, in other
words, wean her a little from me.
A YOUNG MOTHER.
Here is another suggestion for
"A twenty-four-year-old mother"
who might find it convenient to ac-
cept this young mothers offer.
The Washington times., 1920-06-03
THE MARINE CORPS.

RALPH A. WILLIS answers the In
auiry OF w. r. HUGHES as to thA
organization of the Marine Corps, BY
saying that marines served on ves-
sells and on shore In the war OF tho
Revolution. two battanons having
been authorized by tho Continental
Congress November 10, 177b. Ths
present organization" he says, really
dates from July. 1873, when Congress
passed an act approving the estab-
iishment Of the Marine Corps ~ .
permanent organization
A It-year-old sirl asks where she
can learn to swim. There are two
rood places-the city bathing beach.
with swimming pools, or the new tidal
basin bathing beach. Go at IL rese-
luteiy and you will soon learn
The Washington times., 1920-06-03
DEAR MISS FAIRFAX:

DEAR MISS FAIRFAX:
want to help this "twcnty-four-
year-old mother" who doesn't get
any rest from household duties. l
will gladly keep her babies some
nights when she and her husband
want to 60 to the movies.
1t 10 tiresome to stay In all the
time, and 1t makes all the differ
ence in the world to go out two or
three times q week. I am q Gov
ernment worker. Have been living
In Washington thirteen months.
am sure this mother wouldn't mind
me keeping her babies some nights
in the week. ALEX.
Another suggestion for the tired
little mother of two babies.
ALEX" sounds like a man. I
wonder il it is a man. Rare
sympathy and understanding il
it is.
DEAR MISS FAIRFAX:
1 am a young mother Of twenty
nve. Have a comfortable apart
ment My little girl is six years
or age, and doesn't seem to care
Tor children in the neighborhood.
out stays with mo all day. follows
The Washington times., 1920-06-03

FRED vETTER writes that w. J.
Bryan has approved the twelve
Apostles, "the only men he ever ap-
proved in his life" Vetter does not
know whether the apostles were "de-
serving dimmycrats" or whether
Bryan is merely playing safe In en-.
dorsine gentlemen who can not stand
In the way Of his political ideals.
The Washington times., 1920-06-03
MANS WEAKNESSES.

They say man becomes morally
weaker as the day wears on; less
able to resist temptation: 1t was
near Eve that Adam ate the apple.
F. ].
The Washington times., 1920-06-03
BRYAN AND THE APOSTLES.

You tell 'em June, but don't July
LEON GORDON.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-12-05
YORK IRISH {. GIVE BIC WELCOME ID MRS. M'SW|NEY
 Thousands Line Sidewalks and Pay Homage to Widow of Cork's Fatal Hunger Striker
By Assocjated Tres,

New York. December we1com sd by the shouts of a crowd who awaited her landing at the waterfront and who through the streets up Fifth avenue to her hotel. Mrs Muriel MacSwiney, wid- ow of Terence MacSwiney former lord mayor of Cork, arrived here today to join others of her countrymen work ing in America for the cause of Irish independence.
 Scenes which marked the reception of the widow of MacS~iney, who died in Brixton prison, London after hun ger strike of more than two months, dawn eXpectsnt hundreds began mak- ing their way to the Hudson river pier, where the liner Celtic was due to dock, while a small flotilla of harbor craft steamed out to quarantine for a first glimpse of the pale and dignified ap- bearing young womaf..
 Greeted by com ttee of five wom- en, Including wives of the governor of the state and the mayor of the city, who were permitted to board the ves- sel. Mrs MacSwiney and her sister-in- law, Miss Mary MacSwiney, stepped onto the dock to be received by Harry Roland. secretary to Eamonn de Valera, President of the Irish Republic" and group of other prominent Irish as well as Grover A. Whalen. com missioner of plants and structures, rep- resenting Mayor Hylan.
 After the first greeting the party made its way 10 the street. accepted the homage of the waiting crowd. who waved flags ana sang American and Irish national airs. aad then In taxi cab headed the procession which wound it's way to Fifth avenue ans up the historic street to the hotel. Beyond a short expression of thanks for her warm reception. Mrs. AfacSwiney made no statement of her plans. She will be in Washington on Wednes sday to appear before the comLittee of 100 in vestigating Irish affairs.
 She plans to attend mass at St Pat rieks cathedral tomorrow and it is ex- pected thousands of Irish sympathizers who failed today to catch a glimpse of her as she rode through the streets will throng the giant cathed ral to look upon the pale little woman in black
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-12-05
PAID CHURCH CHOIR ILLEGAL UNDER BLUE
 LAW, SAYS RULING
By Associated Presa

Baltimore, December 4.--Opponents here of the efforts of certain religious and reform organizations which are seeking a strieter observance of the laws respecting Sunday amusements were encouraged by these excerpts from a ruling on the subject today by State Attorney General Armstrong:
 s'T'he oomplextty of our modern life" says the attorney general, has presented new living conditions, whose requirements have led to a more liberal construction and appli- cation of these restrictive measures (thc so-cailed blue laws).
 If they were given a literal ap- pldcation it would be Illegal for churches to maintain paid choirs. The church member who is driven to service by his paid chauffeur would be a vioiator of the law"
 The opinion was transmitted to Police Commissioner Gather of Bal timore, who had asked for a ruling as to whether public entertainments on Sunday at which collections are taken up are legal or Illegal. MT. Arm strong holds in substance that Sun day entertainments and gatherings, promoted for the intellectual, moral and cultural improvement of the community not for the financial bene- fit of persons or corporations, and which do not interfere with religious worship, are not unlawful and may not be in6erfered with.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-12-05
JEWS OBJECT
Say Sunday Blue Law Attempt Is Yio
 lation of Religious Freedom
nr Associafcd Ptes.

New York. December 1.-The Jewish Sabbath Alliance of America, in tase- ment issued here today declared tiias attempt to put into effect Sunday "biue laws would be a direct violation of tho constitutional guarantee of religious free dom.
 What these opponents of the seventh day call the American Sabbath" tho statement read, lis nothing more than subterfuge,
 There is no American Sabbath as well as there is no English. German or Dutch Sabbath. There is no reason in extS- tence which permits anybody of legis- lators to decide in this theological qucs- tion that one party is totally right and the other wrong.
 Even at the present time the exist ing laws on statute books of the state Of New York are the grossest injustiee to a large portion of the citizenry of this 'lcounhtry. and the alliance will maks every effort to amend same to allow tho seventh day observing American cit izen equal rights as are given any other portion Of the citizenry."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-12-05
NAB 9 INCONSISTENCIES, SOME THOUGHT DEAD,
 IN KENTUCKY FIGHT
By AssocIated Press

Lexington. Ky. December 4.-- Nine moOnshlners were captured and . number of others arc be- lieved to have been killed or wounded In battle between 30 moonshinerS and 14 United States revenue ofYicers in the southern part of Hell county. near the Ten nessee border. according to repoYfs received here tonight by Chief Prohibition Agent w. G. McFar- land.
 None of the government officers was injured. although more than 1000 shots were fired Five stills were destroyed. The government forces were headed by ProhibitioA Agents Steve COrnett anA Charles Winfrey. The prisoners will be taken to Fslneville. The secne of the battle is h one of the widest sections of the east- ern Kentueky mountains. Ffrst re- ports of the fighting came in dis patch from Pineville. which nafd that heavy firing had been heard in the southern part of the eoan-. ty. The moonshiners who escaped fled into the mountains with fed- ernl agents in pursuit. The E0v- esa0eat aEents left Heldea, Tenn. the uearest railway Dslnt, Friday Worning.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-12-05
Gist of the NelOs
GENERAL

 ResOluti0n to direct revival of wal finance corporation.
 United Stntes has made It's finnI con- cession regarding German cables. Obligation of American church fo war stricken is stressed. Money bills will hold swny during Congress session.
 Cincinnati socinI unit is a complete failure.
 Georgia five is out for the Dixie title, Final grid games of season are plnyed yesterday.
 Congress to act promptly on plan tc aid farmers.
 Taxes to the amount &156,OOO de- claFed due on Shepard eNtate. Work of Nississippi Valley associa- tion is reviewed. Grain markets sink and rise and sink ngsin.
 shorts are on defensive ail day among big traders.
 Tone ef cotton market is asain much steaaier.
 st. Bernard school students display spIendid progress.
 Pistol wound is fatal to Fort Payne man. f Auto topples on curve at Gadsses and one is dead.
 Public utilities board h faced by . strenuous week.
 Federal district court Is to convene early this week.
 Education week, which begins Mon- day. is state-wide event. Auto runs down and kills youth at Alexander City.
 Steamboat again fugitive. with fed- eral sfficers In Dursutt.
 LOCAL Poaicewenen are ts he added to lecal force.
 New directory of Bfrninshaa Msts S0y364 names. Store patrons are urged to carry Der- chases home.
 Twenty face trial for aets involving death penalty.
 Stop selling it, Conner urges cotton pfantefs.
 Alabama peuItry show opens here to- morrow.
 WateTworl<s and city sever. ana then resume. relations.
 Ailiel armies win take field h bas eanDaisn.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-12-05
Huge Housing Corporation
 Is Organized at Charlotte
R, Associated pre..

l Charlotte. \. e. December 4.--Orean- ! ization of s225.000 housing corpora ton, with virtually unlimited re- lrources." was announced here today by George Stephens, banker. who said the company proposed to construct homes of medium quality as rapidly as they could he sold to responsible persons" on "easy terms"
 The organization has been promoted by a group of local financiers and among the stockholders are capitalists
 of Richmond, New York. Philadelphia and other cities according to the an- nouncement
 Eighty acres of land in Myers park residential suburb, have been purchased
 for the company's development. plans
 which include the construction of g.
 least 50 residences within . year. and
 more If the demand warrants.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-12-05
NEGRO WILL CONTEST ELECTION OF GLASS.
 SAYS ANNOUNCEMENT
By nssoc;,.rd c,.s.

Wnshington. Deccmb.r 4.--Rep- resentntivcs here of Joseph R. Pollard, n negro. who ran against Senator Carter t:In.s of Virginia for tho sent In the Senate. nn- noun"cd here tonight that th~y would file with the Senate Non- dny contest based on the claim fhnt Senator Glass hnd failed to comply with the Virginia election laws.
 Virginia laws. PoIinrd'. repre. sentntiyer said. require filing with the secretnry of state 20 days prior tc the election certificate Of can dsdscy. They nss~rsed thnt Scnntor Glnxs had not filed hts notice of candidacy for the Senate within the required time.
 LynchburE. yn.. December 4.- When informed that Joseph R. Pollard. negro. intended to con- test his election to the United States Senate on the ground that hts notice of candidacy had not been filed within the required tune Senator Carter Glass made the following utatement,
 It's all nonsenx>. I did file my notice within the required time md have my certificate of election from the secretary of state.-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-12-05
URGES "BRIDES' STRIKE" TO MAKE WARS IMPOSSIBLE
By Associated Press

Milwaukee, December 4.-Advo- eating . 'sbrides' strike" and the refusal of married women to give birth to children until future wars are made impossible through dis armament of nations, Mrs. Jessie H. Mackay, president of the Mil- waukee Peace society and chair- man of . mass meeting here, to- night declared that in this wny pressure could he brought which would produce irnni ediate results. The Milwaukee society is affiliated with the National Peace society.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-12-05
SAYS "lNTERvIEW" FALSE
Says News Association Report of Al
 legged Statements Incorrect
By Assoeiated Press

OKHk-, EcCcHIUtr S. Jake l.. Hamon, wife of Jake l.. Hamon. republican national com mittceman from Oklahoma. and millionaire railroad and oil man. who died November 2s after having been shot on November 2i, to- night requested publication of the fol- lowing statement:
 Tn a statement tonight Mrs. Hamon said the interview published by news association other than the Associated Press and purported to>have been given by her. was absolutely unauthorized and incorrect and that she unqualifiedly repudlates the same"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-12-05
Alleged Deserter Admits
 Killing Wealthy Clubman
By Associated Pres.

New York. December 4--John Reidy, al legged deserter from the battieship Ari- zona who was arrested here today. was reported by the police to have confessed to killing Leeds Vaughn Waters, wealthy cluhnlan and globe-trotte-. whose body ~a-s ro,;ad U hotel here November 3.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-12-05
STATE OF WAR 0F
 POET IS MARKED
 BY ABSOLUTE CALM
Arms Laid Aside as Poets Fol- lowers and Civil Population Await Arrival of Commits
 sion of Italian Deputies
By Associated Press

Trieste, December 1.-The peace which has marked the state of war declared by DAnnunzio. the insurgcnt leader at Plume, continues. All the Fiumeans are now in d state of suspense. Arnis TOT the moment have been laid aside as D'An- nun2io legionaires and the civil population await the arrival of the commission ap- pointed by the Italian Chamber of Depu- ties. which is expected by steamer to- morrow from Ancpna.'
 The most optimistic feeling prevails that some solution will be found which will meet the approval of D'Annunzio The idea persists that the Chamber of Deputies in Rome will take account Of D'Annunzos enterprise in some formal recognition. and already General Caviglia commanding the regular Italian troops about Plume. has indicated to the poet that full recognition will be given him by the army and that the government will promise to re-establssh the credit of Fiume and place 1t on the road to recon struction.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-12-05
SENATOR'S MAKE PLEA

Rome, December A telegram signed by 30 members of the Senate was $ ..ic today to D'Annunzio, exhorting him to desist from any inipulsive act and from any step which might cause a fratricidai conflict and be source of discord in Italy.
 The message, which was written in the most deferential style. asks the poet in the name of his high patriotism to listen to the voice of the disturbed and anxious ation.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-12-05
POLISH DELEGATES TO PEACE CONFERENCEAT
 RIGA HAVE RESIGNED
By Associated Press

Warsaw, December 2.-Jphn Dombski, head of the Polish peace mission in Rign, and several other members of the Polish delegation have resigned because of the dict's decision to send diet delegpt se to participate in the peace r .o sa tons with the Russian ..c9 "A |. - s.;d ts. ,o ss .s;. Sss -,,t in prolonsing W conference, which may " .nue several months.
 The government will appoint successors to NJ. DombsI<i and the other delegates who resigned ms soon as possible.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-12-05
ARTICLE WOULD BE STRICKEN OUT UNDER AMENDMENT Argentina Officially Withdraws From Assembly Because of
 Refusal to Discuss
 Amendment
By Associated Press

Geneva, December 4.--An amendment to the covenant to the League of Natrsns eliminating Article X, the most mooted section of the pact, was introduced in the assembly of the league today by Charles J. Doherty. Canadian minister of justice. The amendment will probably be referred to the committee on amendments.
 The text of MT. Doherty's resolution reads;
 Resolved, That Article X of the cove nant of the League of Nations be and is hereby stricken out"
 Before reference of this resolution to the committee it will be necessary under the rules that the officials of the assem- ply called the steering committee decide whether they shall recommend that it be put on the agenda.
 The Canadian delegate said to the Associated Press after the morning ses- sion:
 Tn introducing the resolution for eliminating Article X from the cove Eant of the league I am only following the policy adopted from the beginning of the discussion of that article during the peace conference. We never ap- proved it; we ratified the covenant containing it because to reject it was to reject the treaty of Versailles, but We reserved the right to take up the question again at the proper time"
 Asked regarding the report that one of the pr!iaripal objects was to pave the way for the entry of the United States into the league, Mr. Doherty said:
 "Of course. if incidentally, elimina- ton of Article X facilitates the entry of our neighbor we shall be delighted but it is Canadian initiative from a purely Canadian standpoint"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-12-05

In his talk at the training station Mir. Harding declared his heart seldom had been so warmed as by the privilege of re- viewing such body of young American manhood. E Nse, T have felt just little special re-
 tCs.ti.uea .. Page re.3
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1920-10-18
In the World OF Industry.

~ Paper was first made 'ot straw and
hay at Meadvlle, Pa, in 1928.
'iCalt'ornia knows baans. 1t has
265000 acres planted to them this
yea
Axes and other edge tools have
been manufactured at Hartford. Conn,
for almost a century
II is Just fifty years since the first
lntr duct on OF automatic se!fbinders
for harvesting grain.
The Susquehanna river Is to be
dredged for refuse coal, which will be
manufactured into briquettes FOR fuel
The State Of Washington is the frat
to establish a school for the education
OF men in the art of FISH culture.
Electrical eng neering is beng
taught by the United States to 81 dis
abled former soldiers, and engineer
ing OF all kinds to 2.3S1
Dresden is so n to have an institute
for the development OF the scientific
study Of "co'or' and the adaptation
Of their results OF the research for in.
duetr al purposes
More than $50 carloads OF electrical
equipment have been shipped from
the United States to fit up two great
central mower stations under CON
structCu near Bombay. India.
A large portion Of the fish consumed
IN the Pacific Coast States comes
from Mexican waters off the coast of
Lower California. which abound with
mackerel, hal,but. rock cod and many
other edible varieties.
Because OF the shortage OF natural
gas and the very serious situation in
the artificial gas industry, due to
scarcity OF oil and coa'. the public
school children IN Ohio are given spec
ial instruction in the methods OF gas
conservation
The gum in the pine seems 10 be
practically indestructible. and one Of
the chief exports OF New leland is
centuries ago The wood has long
ag5 disappeared, but chunks Of pure
amher'lIke gum are still dug from the
stumps
A new substitute for glass or for
lacquer has been invented IN Ger
many II can be cut with shears or
with knife and. when heated to
more than 100 degrees Centrigrade, 1t
forms a kneadab'e mass which resdm.
es its previous hard state on cooling.
II is known as "cellou"
Sheffield is the first city in England
to obtain parliamentary powers to on.
gage in the dairy industry. and in ad.
dition to buying and selling milk, the
4 pCration is enabled 10 make butter,
cheese. and dairy products, establish
milk depots, and also carry on dairy
farms for the supply OF milk to mu-
nioipal Institutions