The New York herald., 1920-01-18
DE CASSERES GOES TO A SEANCE
AND RUNS ACROSS OLD ZERO SAM,
WHO SEEMS TO BE A HUNGRY GHOST
This Is True and Also Weird Account of What Hap
pened to Little Band of WayfareS Who Were Asked to Sit
In and Be Astonisfed by the Oua Board of Weary Man.

+, Frank came TO and averred he had not
been snoring. but what seemed so was
transition He had been In another world,
the world OF twilight sleep and ancient
dawns
We were next introduced to the ~canti-
lever theory" of psychic emanations. Our
host averred that what lifted material OBJ
Ijects was a stream of astral energy that
came from the legs of those present and
raised the table coaI-scuttle or hypno-
tized subject in the air. A species OF pipe
jointing the infinite. But an hour of this,
in which everybody kept awake. left the
new non-union table as obdurate as ever.
raps or otherwise show any interest out
side of a poker game. for which 1t was
destined. no doubt, by the character Of it's
innate wooden ego.
Maybe we can get the ouija board to
tell US why this table will not psych up"
ventured one Of the ladies.
Splendid and moving idea! When In
doubt consult the Queen Of Jades, old
Mother Ouija. who is. by all reckoning.
sacred and profane, the faithful wife of
King Ananias.
The clock struck twelve midnight, which
seemed rather strange because 1t really
was midnight There is no fun in spook
party II even the clocks are normal.
Captain Ryan and myself were assigned
by our host to manipulate. The board
seemed chockful of spirits The pointer
began to run around the board with the
energy Of Dry" Congressman headed
for wet corner.
"Zero sam."
who's up?'' shouted tho Captain in a
commanding. Voila, Lafayette! tone.
Zero SAM" the pointer spelled.
Are you a spiritT'
"No, I'm Zero Sam"
'fWho is Zero Samr'
'My character in a movie over here
"But are you not a spirit?"
mo, I'm Zero Sam"
"Are you dead?"
Partly"
'-Can you tell US what you meanr"
'Yes. I'm Zero Sam.
Have you a message for any one herc?"
Eyes"
"Who?'
"Fornaro Tell him that Zero Sam is
his Hindoo ancestor who was slain while
trying to caricature II. NJ Juggernaut in
his astral pajan1as."
"Why do you call yourself Zero?'
Because they have nothing on me over
here"
But you said that was your movie
name"
Contradictions are tho life of trade.
There's a mouse in the clock. Can you
get me a copy of Maeterlinck's new Ian
guage book? / smell booze. Zero Sam is
the god of all apartment houses. Look
in the wall for plaster. Wit is the pistol
pocket in the brain Of man. Eats! Eats!
Eats.
But what further stupidities Zero Sam
had to enunciate will never be known, for
la series Of sharp whistles rent the air Gas
E. H. Sothern would say.) They came
from the Drive. We all sprang headlong
to the window. ~ .~ A,-.....,.4
A wrath was fleeing down the slopes
Of the park toward the river. Five pistol
shots rang out in the Silly air. Three
guardians Of our physical bodies were
swarming down the paths.
The wrath melted into the river.
| Eats! Eats! Eats! In plaintive melody
came across the water to US.
Zero Sam!" we all shouted in single
voice from six heads cantilevered into the
starry night.
We turned back to the room, and our
host put on all the lights
Six bottles Of Haig ct Haig had vanished
with all the eats.
Moral:-Don't reckon without your ghost