South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1920-01-11
MAN IN THE STREET

flowers are blooming in the open
air. outside"
We fancy the outside" open air
is preferable to that of the inside.
Alvin, but why torture US? We
can't all be rich. Anyway, you don't
know what you are missing b. being
away from AIishawaka these times
There were the annual church meet
ing. wrestling match, A Night in
Chinatown, Wooden company ban
quet and a meeting Of the South Side
Patron-Teachets' club, all held with
in 10 days. AS long as we have such
big doings here. we are not likely to
sUccumb TO ennui
An Illinois woman prophesied her
death and it came true at the min
ute indicated but what does one
gain by successful prophecy when IL
plants one permanently in the ceme-
terry that way2 We'd prefer TO pro-
phecy democratic victories and en-
dure a temporary trance following
the election.
An Englishman has invented a de
vice TO enable a One-armed person
10 eat eggs We need a device 10
enable a two-armed person TO eat
some OF the yard eggs now on the
market, and another device to en-
able abIebOdied persons to buy eggs
at all.
A wine bibber complains to us
that they are, charging him % cents
1 for an article that contains 90 per
cent water. Doesn't he know that
80 cents OF this sum is for downtown
service.
Will Hayes has formulated plan
Z TO harmonic the republicans of In
diana There may be a way, but il
looks as If it can only be accomp-
lished at the cemetery. While they
breathe, they scrap.
. \ local Red writes that we be
! long to the hated capitalistic class.
Think of stab like that after all
I these years of hating wealth and
standing for an honest, indolent,
, leprous and harmonious pauperisml
They say New York and Chicago
: celebrated the advent Of the new
/ year with cider. In view of the fact
! that Murray Hossom drank all the
available supply, the best Mishawaka
could do was TO get her head rub
bed with a 60 percent hair tonic and
spray her hide with high life and
signal for the music.
Atty. Gen. Palmer asks the wom-
en- of the country 10 help reduce the
. cost of living by buying on a sensible
scale Yes, Mary Ann, and be sure
the scale doesn't shOrtweight YOU.
There are $4,000 divorce cases
pending in Paris. Paris must be
ambitious to become known as the
St Joseph county of Europe
after this year it will DC nothing
unreasonable if the average politi-
clan at the beginning of the cam
paign year should hesitate in the ef-
fort to decide whether he viii run
for justice of the peace, the state
legislature or president of the Unit
ed states.
The most important lesson that
some of the wild-eyed agitators in
Washington might learn this year
is that they are striving for power,
4
trimming the situation 10 put a stop
to the bossing Of the United States
government by anybody but them
selves.
SO far as the returns show, Mish-
awake escaped the wood alcohol
tragedy. Possibly tho moro intelli-
gent circles OF Mishawaka bars the
stun whost illiciticity affects any
\ thing worse than tobacco juice, mu-
ristic acid, ether. salt brine and
soap suds.
u seems TO us that our merchants
are not persuing the right course in
advertising reduced prices in order
TO dispose Of their stocks. The best
way would be to advertise All
Goods Increased 100 Per Cent" They
just naturally want them high
An optimist is a person who be
licves that sooner or later the whole
blamed country will come back TO
the good old idea that all things
considered. honest work is a better
way than prohteering. grating or
plain stealing.
Those gentlemen in Dublin who
are striving 10 assassinate Niscount
French should not despair. They
may get him after a while. Besides
that's the way 20 make a cause no
bier and popular.