davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1920-04-24
Daily Horoscope
SATURDAY. APRIL "A. 1920.

SATURDAY, APRIL "A. 1920.
Astrologers read this as an un-
important day. Saturn and Uranus
are adverse, but their power is
not strong.
Human minds will be continu-
ally affected by discomfort and the
spirit of criticism will rule, so
that there is little hope Of politi-
cal harmony even within parties.
The war impulse is still strong
and will not pass until many
months have gone by. for after
next March government problems
will cause unrest
Commercial rivalry between
countries will become exceedingly
sharp a year hence and there may
be serious questions arising be-
tween US and. one of the strongest
OF the allies.
In this connection a statesman
will become unpleasantly involved.
This is sway under which
events may take place that are
disturbing to persons who adhere
stubbornly to precedent or to pre-
vious leadership.
Saturn will be the evening star
until August and during the
months that intervene may cause
grave conditions that bring even
the least thoughtful TO a sense Of
their larger obligations and re-
sponsibilitieS
Since the signing Of the armis-
tice the planetary government has
emphasized selfish tendencies and
it is this sinister influence TO which
is attributed the prevalence OF
pronteering.
quicken the mind along lines OF
inquiry and investigation. For
this reason motives will be analyz-
ed and characters carefully scruti-
nized as never before during the
coming Presidential campaign
The adverse direction OF Uranus
is held to forecast losses and sud
den changes of fortune
This days connguration is read
as carrying out the threatening
forecasts previously made regard
ing religious dissensions and
schisms This prophecy has been
made for more than a year in the
public prints and will be fulfilled
in ways little apprehended
Persons whose birthdate Il is
should be extremely careful IN all
business affairs during the COM
ing year.
Children born on this day may
be Quick-tempered and impatient
but these subjects Of Taurus usu-
ally succeed in life
The Washington herald., 1920-04-24
CXI-Wedding Plans

Doris. n:in you be my sole at
tendant?"
Anne was deep in plans for her
wedding with Jacques Norvell.
Heaven knows how / have the
courage to range you alongside of
me at a high noon wedding" con-
tinued the bride-elect, lighting a
cigaret and propping her feet in
high-heeled slippers on the fender
of the CRATE.
Doris had dropped in one rainy
afternoon for tea, and found Anne
making up lists for the invitations.
If | had a mere soupCon of dis
cretion, l should go around the cor
ner to a justice of the peace and
have a business-like ceremony"
continued Anne, gazing reflectiveIy
at the curling smoke of her cigareL
But underneath my practical ex-
terror is a strong strain of senti-
ment. and I can't forebear having a
wedding such as you youngsters all
have. even at my age. To my mind.
there is nothing more ludicrous than
a white-haired bride against a back
ground Of orange blossoms, but I'm
probably the last time 1 shall ever
laugh"
Doris smiled and patted her host
ess' shoulder.
You old dear! You certainly take
a pessimistic view of marriage"
That's because I've seen so much
of it. The best way to discourage
yourself about matrimony is to
watch your friends. Poor things.
how braVely they smile for the sake
of the world and his wife. I want
you to wear orchid tulle and silver
cloth, Doris" she said. with a swift
change of manner, silver lace hat.
purple orchids"
How gorgeous I will BET" laughed
The Washington herald., 1920-04-24
Remodeling a Wife
By Mildred K. Bdrbouy
Copyright. 1920,
(McClure Syndicate.)

Doris. but she had a slight misgiv-
ing. A costume such as Anne
sketched so carelessly would prob
ably mean a scene with Darlington
II seemed to Doris that he kept a
closer rein upon her expenditures
each day.
Its awfully nice Of you to ask
me to be your attendant" she added.
IT'S really an honor which should
belong to Margaret"
Anne made a little glance.
Margaret is impossible these
days. Marcia's father has made her
more remote and unapprochable
than ever. I think she is afraid to
seem human lest some body question
her about that scapegrace son-in-
law"
How do you think it will all turn
out?" asked Doris.
Anne shrugged carelessly.
He will probably be killed by
some infuriated Spaniard over cards
or women. You know. Latin Amer
leans won't stand for his line Of
conduct"
Awful" shuddered Doris.
Excellent solution" corrected
Anne. What could be better for
Marcia? She will be free to try her
luck again"
Doris was silent for a few min
utes. gazing into the fire.
Isn't it a funny world? Take
Lila and her husband and Alex Nun
caster who are in a dreadful situa-
ton"
And Juliet and Crosby, who are
painfully polite to each other, but
wouldn't care a rap il they never
saw each other again." added Anne.
And Margaret and George" Doris
supplemented. They are not
happy"
They were happy once until Mar
The Washington herald., 1920-04-24
Buchu and Hops

which will keep these little crystals in
q soluble form and at the same time
promote painless discharges. 1t com
bines the solvent properties of these
standard remedies with the alkaline
effect of Potash, and this combination
has pleasant taste and is devoid of
the slightest irritating influence upon
the digestive tract. Under its influence
the gouty or rheumatic pains subside,
the urine becomes clear and is passed
in large quantities and the gravel If
present disappears. A very pleasant
and palatable mixture, it mixes with
water without turning turbid. 1t con-
tains no sugar of any kind. so cts. a
bottle by mail or messenger to your
home without delay by Tyree & Co,
Druggists, 18th and H Streets N. E,
Washington. D. c.
The Washington herald., 1920-04-24
Chicago Union Holds Up
Work on Portable Houses

Chicago. April 23.-An enterpris-
ing and likewise homeless citizen
started to put up the first portable
house In Chicago in the campaign
for more homes A business agent
spied six carpenters at work.
No one is working on the houses
Just now. The edict has gone forth
that no union carpenter may drive
a nail or fit joint in any portable
house unless everything Is made in
Chicago and under the rules Of the
union
The Washington herald., 1920-04-24
Refined, Delicate Skin
Secured BY Absorption

- -ua I. - su.ads-.d h>suu-
- q - akh = esa. h s.xsra rsa.
S /. - ~re- ~ rsroexAfy
ssnng - IS r.noxtng - 6frf md
nS wh1eA naAs ths nktn puuxh Fur
- ~s nsssb ssehfng hstt.1 On d.
nd @n pDo0~ M vax com
SoG se.Ens a. rs1EA. mndAy Or d.
- eeR skh nd une1ors o. por,s.
n ha ysmg skta undsrnsstA sssn in
- snqutzfts1 deneata, refined and
ennz1fA AID h b kspt "a q. tn. por-.
- ny srps4 ensts mzfn.r and drtnk
u - RtSE1vfpg sxyrA.
ecosd va hsesuss - IN v,nd>rful
osa p1~ez. - last supsrsedtnr oehsr
-, - e@e panpS. yellow.
ng11 M cid erssm snd v,.h>d n, -
snG u - psrfseey harmless a.
~ ea - fbuna h s.y lr1r "a,
= ts0sk ssefAnn.-AAs,
The Washington herald., 1920-04-24
More Courtesy for Pigs
Decreed by Pork Traders

Chicago. April 23.-Livestock men,
farmers, shippers and others held a
meeting and decided that the pig
had been made to squeal too often
In the past From now on he will
travel, the primrose path as It was
shown that rough handling of pork
ers spoils many a pound of meat.
It was pointed out that at II cents
q pound on the hoof he was entitled
to greater courtesy than he has been
getting.
The Washington herald., 1920-04-24

garet turned into q lay figure sur
rounded by ice and actuated by
culture Anne pronounced the
last word with fne scorn.
Aren't there any of US really
happily married?' asked Doris de-
spairingly.
How about you and Stewart
Doris averted her face and made
no reply.
Well" Anne sighed after a
time. the worst fasco Of them all
will have its beginning on the day
that jacques and I take our marri-
age vows But I'd rather fail in
gloriously than never to try at
all There's some good philosophy,
my child"
The Washington herald., 1920-04-24

Chicago. April 23.-One hundred
and fifty students from the Univer-
sity OF Chicago were enrolled as
temporary clerks to relieve the
rush in the Chicago postoffice. They
were paid at the rate Of 90 cents an
hour. Expert clerks OF long stand
ing. getting much less. registered
strong protests
The Washington herald., 1920-04-24
Sleuth Guessed Wrong.

Chicago. April 23.-Two years ago
a detective heard a man call a
woman IN a room in a downtown
hotel. sweetheart" His Sherlock
Holmes instinct told the sleuth that
something was wrong and the cou-
pie was ousted- A jury after a peep
at the hotel register and the mar
riage certificate gave the wife $1,000
damages. The husband has his suit
pending.
The Washington herald., 1920-04-24
Dean Kinley Heads u, Of |.

UrbanA. III, April 13.-The resig-
nation Of Dr. Edmund J. James a.
president Of the University of nli-
nois has been accepted and Dean
David K1nley will continue as act
ing head Of the university. DR..
James resigned on account Of con-
tinusd NJ health
The Washington herald., 1920-04-24
Is THIS YOUR TYPE?
THE SWAN NECK.
By MARIE LaRooUE.
pspvrtEht 1s2n. Mcclure syndieats.)

Apparently IT all depends on your
Point Of view whether the long,
s,snder neck that Is called the swan
nsck 10 . thing OF beauty or not
offv1 Wendell Holmes. IN describ-
fnx Margaret Fuller. Countess os-
soh. ens Of the interesting writers
~ Nov England. says that she had
- lang and nextle neck arching
md undulating in strange. sinuous
DSvsmsnts which one who loved
hsr veuld compare to q swan and
- VINO loved her not to those of
ths sphidian who tempted our COM
Hsn mother"
Certainly nobody would like a
0.,ns neck Yet to most Of US the
~.a neck seems q mark OF beauty.
Bs<trics Portinari. the Beatrice
The Washington herald., 1920-04-24
Fnst Dry Case n Milwaukee Fails.

Milwaukee. Wis., Aprn 2t-Charles
Mueller was accused Of selling beer,
wine and whisky. He was hailed be-
fore . Federal Judge. A fury de-
eided he was not guilty. It was
Mnwsukes's first trial under the
prohibition act
The Washington herald., 1920-04-24
Feeling Bad---

What, the NATTER" ~oh, I don't
know. Just feel bad. Not what you
would ean sick. only stupid, sleepy and
sluggish Don't feel like doing any
thing" These conditions are truly
nuisanees. and it is a false notion to
think that you are sick every time you
feel bad For health is queer crea-
ture; it seldom remains m a perfect
condition, nurse or abuse it as you
choose. it always acts according to its
own laws These feeling-bad conditions
are often due to changes of the season
Of the year. like Spring when the sap
is going up and the feeling bad is 60
ing down. They are due largely to the
deposits of invisible little crystals of
Uric Acid in the blood and Kidneys
These little crystals are at times very
irritating and unless removed are going
to make you sluggish and feel bad ali
over. Get rid of them at once by
flushing them out with suitable rem
edies, not the kind that hurts you but
hurts them, and the best remedy
know of for these especial conditions IS
The Washington herald., 1920-04-24

Even shoe tops are being made
Of the cartridge silk placed on the
market by the United States gov
ernment. These are Of the coarser
grades Of the material. The next
grade makes draperies. and the next
finer. suits. dresses. coats, bonnets
and the like. The finest grade Is
said to allow of transformation into
fine lingerie.
The Washington herald., 1920-04-24
VirSimia Lees Personal Answers
To Herald Readers Questions

The wedding gowns of today are truly beau-
tiful affairs, don't you think have even heard
girls say they longed to be bride just to be
able to march down the church aisle in such a
creation of pure loneliness with wonderful
sweeping train terminating several years behind
their smartIy clad feet Somehow ! hadn't
stopped to consider that any other kind of gown
was ever worn; but I had it brought sharply to
my attention when / read the following lines:
The wedding gown of today has escaped from
The Washington herald., 1920-04-24

under the watehful of modesy and mpith god
dess who of guarded the bridal robeand has become
ernanepated the opera ball gown"
1t that the oden bodice developed with
long sleeves and fashioned carefully the
which of sharp the bridal of today
which Is = froek a robe
modern and bridal gown, Ame
fashion is formed with tue lace
lace arranged the sides of the foundation skirt tu
An panel nic the folds
hem The long train of
spending apron effect a back
The Of the bodice of tule edged with pearls
tended either side sleeves
Sosds Of the satin formed the lower of the bodice
To be true possibly modest yet so comfortable if
b married in
The Washington herald., 1920-04-24
Students Handle Mails.

donday-A Tale of Misery.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-03-23
Ripping Rhymes
BY WALT MASON.
nesc

I've known all kinds of grief
and care that this world has in
store. and I have tori my
hair, and walked the we'll known
floor. And sometimes now loo
behind upon the bygone years.
when /, with vexed and troubled
mind, shed cataracts OF tears And
all the griefs look piffling now.
which made my nights a frost, and
dug these burrows in my brow. re-
gardless OF the cost. l wonder
why I used to weep. and meath
my burden bend. and why cheap
troubles spoiled my sleep Tor
wear nights on end. I recollect
some nights of pain when life was
spiced with gall; but what the
grief that scared my brain. L do
not now recall. I recollect one
evening large. when l was sorely
tried and stood upon the rivers
marge, and thought of suicide. |
must have had a load of care, q
ton or two of woe; but what 1t
was that drove me there, I'm ding
donged IL l know. And now that
I am old and wise, at care l light
ly glance; 1 know that every sor-
row flies. IL given half a chance.
Buff IL o take 1t to Your breast
| against your starboard lung, twill
in your bosom make its nest, and
| there produce its young.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-03-23
Daily Horoscope
Wednesday. March "a, 1920.

Copyright. 1920, by the Mcclure
newspaper Syndicate.)
Astrologers read this as rather a
doubtful day. Although Jupiter and
Mercury are in benefic aspect, IRA
nus rules with adverse power.
should receive a great impetus
Publicity in all forms will be great
ly in demand. especially in the for
warding of personal ambitions.
Novel methods of using the news
papers for political propaganda WI
be devised and publishers will
benefit.
There Is a sign read as most prom
Using for members of the legal pro-
receive an appointment of higher
honor.
Education again will focus at
tent.on and reform will ,be widely
advocated . Legislators will be In
terested In a movement to extend
government aid.
While there Is the prognostica.
ton OF success for lawyers and
| writer's or editors, there will be
| also need of watchfulness, for sin
lister stars will cause trouble.
Uranus is III a place believed &c
| foment envy and jealousy to which
women will be peculiarly sensitive
at this time. These impulses o
| enmity will be due to personal an
| bition rather than to love.
The evening of tbs day Will o'
I unlucky for love affairs and Is no
| favorable for weddings.
Great numbers OF Cases VII
crowd the law court during tn
next few months, astrologers pre-
dict.
Uranus continues in an aspec
that will increase libel suits an,
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-03-23
Fire Alarm Boxes

s5-SmithsStreet ana Central n. n
and First Streets.
Avenue n Paterson OF
2S-High and Lewis Streets.
S5-Sm1th and High Streets. =.
SS-New Brunswick v and New ~
17-Smitll and State Streets.
la-Atlai,tic Terra Gotta Works. =.
(S-Buckingham Ave. and Hartford D,
tb-Commercs and Front Streets.
ls-State and washington Streets.
47-High and Washington SITS.
s4-State st. and Buckingham Ava
tb-Parker st. and Pulaski Ave.
S6-Hall Ave and Charles 81.
s7-State AID Wayne Streets
6S-Near United Lead Works.
E9-Maurer.
s2-Washington and First Streetst
SS-New Brunsw.ck ave. ana Elm OF
S4-Smith Street and watson AVE-
eS-Commerce and state streets.
72-Front and Smith Streets.
j3--Water and Gordon Streets
74-Kearny Ave- and Gordon street.
Sl-Brsce and Hanson Avenues.
e2-Smith and Herbert Streets.
(s-Amboy Ave. and Warrington 81.
e1-Lehigh Ave. and stanford strssL
S6-Near City Hospital
e7-Amboy and q
e6-Cleveland and Brace
o9-Amboy Ave. Aid Insiee StreeS
o2-LawrencA and Francis Streete.
S1-Naville and JohnAtone Streeta
sa-Naritan Copper Work.
|el-Narket and Sheridan etEeseAs
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-03-23
CONFUSION TIME APPROACHES

AS the time approaches for the city
of New York and a few other places
TO set their clocks ahead n our
irrespective of the standard time OF
the country. the confusion every
where increases. 1t GEMS very
range that a lot of Tammany poll
ticiaris should be permitted to cause
such a disturbance in the bushes
world that centers about the metr0
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-03-23

And If everybody In America would
knuckle down to work tomorrow and
keep his mouth shut for ten days,
this epidemic of hysteria would be
lover
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-03-23

Member OF The AssOc1nfet FFtES
The Associated Press is exclusively
entitled to the use for publication OF All
news dispatches credited TO II or net
otherwise credited In this paper ana
also the local news published herein.
The EVENING NEWS is also a mem
bar Of the American Newspaper Publish
ers' Association and the Audit Bureau
or Circulation.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-03-23
Luke McLuke Says.

Luke McLuke Says.
After you have been married to ner
about 20 years and get her well train
ed YOU can get her to do almost any
thing she wants to do.
Maybe IL Opportunity could do the
Shimmy a man would be more anx-
ious to embrace 1t.
We would hate to be an Undertaken
and have to watch about 1000 Dead
Comes walk past our establishment
every day.
A work Of art costs money. And
yet many a man expects to get a Wlfe
for the price of a Marriage License:
Why Is it that q twenty-year- OLD
Widow can go anywhere alone ana
that a thirty-year-old Maiden has to
have a Chaperone?
Once in a while you will meet a
| woman who would make a fine hus-
| band for some a
spread scandals,
Divorces will be numerous and
again 1t is prophesied that marriage
laws will be widely criticised and
\ discussed.
Secret crimes that seem to con-
tradict the divinity of mans origin
are likely to spread and there VII!
be revelations concerning them thaI
emphasize the need of right think
ing. :.
| Persons whose birthdate 1T Is
have the augury of a busy year
Removals or changes may not bf
fortunate. =
Children born on this day are
likely to be quick, gifted and rather
hard to satisfy.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-03-23
Bits of By-Play

Bits OF By-Pl1y
BY LUKE McLUKE
Copyright, 1920. the Cincinnati In
quirer)
Awful.
When some cheap joker makes you
yawn
BY saying: where has Oregon?"
Just say: "She on the farm. / know,
She's out there watching Idaho!"
Revised.
Just two States are fighting for
freedom and trying to test the con
stitutionality of the Eighteenth
Wen have to revamp the old one
about North and South Carolina and
make II read:
What was 1T hat the Governor of
New Jersey said to the Governor of
Rhode Island?"
Eugenics.
What do you think of eugenics,
anway?" asked Smith.
Well" replied Jones. 81" am six
feet tall, weigh 200 pounds and have
never been arrested. And my papers
were never reg. stored in a Herd Book.
They say hat garlic gives you
strength.
I guess that this is true;
Your friends, Will keep away a length,
And act afraid of you.
The Honest Citizen.
The Honest Citizen had just paid
the Peanut Vendor five cents for q
sack of peanuts. The Honest Citi-
zen opened the bag and received a
shock. There were six peanuts In
the bag. The Honest Citizen took
out a peanut and hurried back to the
Peanut Vendor.
MY good man." said the Honest
Citizen. There were six peanuts In
this bag. Are you not cheating your
self?"
"a thousand blessings on your
head!" exclaimed the Peanut Vendor,
and put 1t back in stock. Il made
a miscount. Heaven will reward you
for your honestly"
Good Dope.
You'd get on better if you would
Protect your temper my dear lad
You should not lose 1t when it's good;
And you should keep it when it's
bad.
Paw Knows Everything.
Willie-Paw. what is meant by I'M
requtted affection?
Paw-That is when misery loves
my son.
Cold Tea.
He paid twelve bucks a quart for
booze,
MT IL Il, fhn GnI1oV and
Next day the stuff was frozen.
Lucky Mani
(Canton (Ohio) News.)
A married man Is just about as
scared of his sons mother as he was
of his own mother.-Luke McLuke.
A man may never know how much
he voids by being kept scared
all the time.
M. U. Latte isn't n at all. He Is
a white man and lives in U~hrichsVille,
Ohio.
Notice!
If there is a Corn Fed in the Club
who hasn't nerve enough to propose
this Leap Year, /. VIII Haver lives in
Albany, Ga.
Music.
emusic hath charms!" some poet
cried,
But this fool poet makes me groan;
This poet never lived beside
A man who played a slice trombone
Luke McLuke.
They tell me music charms the soul
But one things sure and you can
bet,
The man who a y that never lived
Near one who played the clarinet
Hastings (Neb.) Tribune.
Music hath charms. one long ago,
Some poet had the nerve to own,
But then he never lived below
The novice with a saxophone.
-DeDtroit Free Press.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-03-23

First was erased the Hindenburg
line. then the Hohenzollern line and
now the mark Is rapidly fading.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-03-23

The EVENING NEWS IS always Eiau
20 receive communications from It's
readers. but letters intended for pup
i~Ication must be reasonable in length
and must be signed by The name ana
address OF tho writer. II requested tne
name Will not he published unless per-
envpitties are INDUCED in.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-03-23
BE KcerfuI!

With the woods full of Prohibition
sleuths this summer, 1t will be worth
a b%ullfrog's life to say anything about
"Jug-o-rum."
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-03-23

You can find Europe's new boundary
lines on the new maps. but thai is The
only place you can find them.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-03-23

america can best help the backward
peoples of the earth by keeping her.
self free Of their quaint theories and
fatal 'isms.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-03-23

Our Daily Special.
A. Lot of Facial Beauty Isn't Even
Skin Deep.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-03-23
BY LUKE McLUKE
Copyright, 1920. the Cincinnati In
quirer)

When some cheap joker makes you
yawn
By saying: Where has Oregon"
Just say: she on the farm. / know,
She's out there watching Idaho!'
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-03-23

After our nerves are frazzled by
studying new theories, perhaps we
shall have sense enough to set back
to the wholesome sanity of pre~wai
days.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-03-23

Music hath charms. one long ago,
Some poet had the nerve to own,
But then he never lived below
The novice with a saxophone.
-DeDtroit Free Press.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-03-23

They say that George Washington
never told one. But what we started
to say was that Will Lide lives In Sa-
vannah. Tenn.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-03-23
Revised.

Just two States are fighting for
freedom and trying to test the con-
s~titutionality of the Eighteenth
Amendment in the Supreme Court.
Wen have to revamp the old one
about North and South Carolina and
make It read:
What was it that the Governor of
New Jersey said to the Governor of
Rhode Island?"
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-03-23

Names Is Names.
A. Outlaw lives in Paducah. Ky,
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-03-23

1t would be easier to believe in ever
lasting peace If there was a law com
pelling people to keep their chickens
fenced.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-03-23

They tell me music charms the soul
But one things sure and you car
bet,
The man who says hat never lived
Near one who played the clarinet
Hastings (Neb.) Tribune.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-03-23
Eugenics

Eugenics.
What do you think of eugenics,
anway?" asked Smith.
Well" replied Jones, II am six
feet tall, weigh 200 pounds and have
never been arrested. And my papers
were never registered in a Herd Book.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-03-23

He paid twelve bucks a quart TO
booze,
Oh, weep for Oswald Posen!
He put it in the cellar. and
Next day the stuff was frozen.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-03-23

The salaried mar feels a deep SYM
.pathy for the o mechanic who Is
burdened with the task of spending
eight dollars every day.