davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1920-07-16
A Good One
on the Doctor
BY r. n. Stearns

They tell a good one on Wash
ington doctor, who has a habit of in
terrupting his patients during their
recital of their troubles by his more
or less querUious comment.
One day a stranger consulted the
physician to whom he confided the
information that he did not exactly
know what alled him. Being pretty
well worn out however, he felt sure
he needed Treatment of some sort,
Same old troubled" exclaimed the
medico. mo man can live cooped up
in an Office all day. Now l myself
could soon manage to get myself into
the debilitated state wherein you find
yourself did pursue the same tactics.
What man need is exercise, l tel
you. OF course, if you want to lay
over desk or counter all day AMI
get no ozone into your system, then
what need to seek relief. It'll get you
in no time. l can assure you of that"
Il" began the patient
you must have fresh air, mani"
vociferated the doctor Take long
walks! Get plenty of good, whole
some air in your lungs! I could
easily contrive to dose you with all
manner of drugs and retain you as a
permanent patient, incidentally con.
vincing you that l was a skillful ply
sician. But 1 won't do it! All have
to say is, get out and walk, walk,
walk"
But, doctor" the man tried to
interrupt.
Listen TO mel" returned the doc
tor. Don't try to argue the question!
It's no use! What you need is at least
one long walk a day-several would
be better-to get your blood into cir
culation. Don't let your system rust;
That's the trouble with you fellows
I've had many such cases"
But my calling-"-
Your calling! There it is! l ex-
pected that! My business'-they all
say it! Arrange your affairs so that
you may walk more. Start away 4
little before the usual time in the
morning and fix it so that you leave
a little earlier in the afternoon. By
the way, what is your business?"
81 am a suburban postman."
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1920-07-16
Beetle Wages
War in State of New Jersey

Since the submission of the last re-
port the area infested by this insect
has increased to $4,000 acres and now
involves not only portion of Burling
ton County but a small area in Cam
den County adjacent to the old in
tested area Of Burlington County
The average spread of this insect this
year has not exceeded one and one
half miles and the extreme spread has
not exceeded three miles. Without
doubt this apparent spread is in PAL
due to the discovery of infestation
which had occurred the year previous,
but which, owing to Inadequate scout
ing in that year, had not been discov-
cred. 1t is mainly due, we believe,
to the natural movement of the insect
on the wing The farthest outposts
of infestation are probably the result
of direct carriage of one or more
specimens on clothing of persons, or
in vehicles.
1t is worth while to point out that
the actual damage done by this IL
sect in the area infested has been
almost negligible and that this con.
dition probably obtains because of the
efficient suppression work which has
been carried out against it.
The time has now arrived definitely
to abandon the idea of determination
and to devote all energy: a. to hold
ing the insect within its present lin
its; (2) to the discovery of practical
artificial means for its control; 60
to the study of natural enemies of
this insect in Japan, its native home,
with the view of importing such OF
them as may be introduced with
profit into the area infested.
The problem of holding the insect
where it can probably best be met:
a. by suppression of the insect within
the infested area by the destruction
of grubs and adults, thus reducing the
number to a point where the demand
for food will not cause natural distrl-
button to occur; (2) by eliminating
from the sides of the roads that pass
through this area or rendering dis
tasteful to all plants on which the in
sects normally fed and thus dimin
ishing, if not entirely eliminating, the
chances of their being caught up and
carried by passing vehicles to points
outside the infested area; 60 by de-
stroying or rendering distasteful all
of the food plants in a barrier band
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1920-07-16

sive field tests of Bordeaux mixture
have been made by the Experiment
Station. The results have differed
somewhat with the localities and with
the variety of potatoes grown. In the
two years work at Freehold, no in
creases outside of experimental error
have been obtained by spraying
Giant potatoes. These experiments
were conducted on one of the richest
fields in that district, and high fertil-
ity and variety of the potatoes grown
have been suggested as probable
causes for the failure to obtain ma
terial increases in yield.
With Irish Cobbler potatoes the
BORDEAUX spraying has given more
promising results. AS high as 81
bushels per acre increase was noted
in one experiment. Increased yields
have not been obtained in all cases,
and with our meagre data and incom-
plete knowledge of the influence of the
character of the seed, of climate, and
several other factors, it is not possible
to predict a paying increase every
year from Bordeaux spraying.
The results of spraying second crop
Irish Cobbler potatoes are much more
promising. Early blight is quite com.
mon in these late planted potato fields,
and since Bordeaux effectively con.
trolls this fungus, we may expect a
larger return from spraying here than
on the early crop where the disease
is absent.
For the first crop potatoes, the first
application of Bordeaux spray should
be made when the vines are 6 to s
inches high. The treatment should
be repeated every 10 to IA days, the
time of application depending some
what upon weather conditions. The
largest number of applications Of
spray per season tested in the expert
mental work on first crop potatoes is
four.
Liquid sprays are best applied at
the rate of about 100 gallons per acre
and the best coating of the leaves is
obtained with three nozzles to the
row. A pressure of at least 100 pounds
per square inch is highly desirable
Complete directions for the prepare
ton of Bordeaux mixture are to be
found in Circular 4S of the New Jer.
sey Agricultural Experiment Station.
A detailed report of the dustlne and
spraying work of the Experiment Sta,
ton is contained in the Annual reports
for 1913, 1914, 1915 and 1916, and in
Circular AZ.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1920-07-16
A Friend

I've never known dog to wag
His tail in glee he didn't feel,
Nor quit his old-time friend to tag
At some more influential heel
The yellowest cur l ever knew
Was, to the boy, who loved him, true.
I've never known dog to show
Halfway devotion to his friend,
To seek a kinder man to know
Or richer, but to the end
The humblest dog | ever knew
Was, to the man that loved him, true.
I've never known dog to fake
Affection for a present gain
A false display of love to make,
Some little favor to attain.
I've neve r known a Prince or Spit
That seemed to be what he was not.
But 1 have known dog to fight
WITH all HIS StleuSIH " Sultlu d
friend,
And whether wrong or whether right,
To stick with him until the end.
And have known a dog to lick
The hand of him that men would kick.
And l have known dog to bear
Starvation pangs from day to day
With him who had been glad to share
His bread and meat along the way.
No dog, however mean or rude,
Is guilty of ingratitude.
The dog is listed with the dumb,
No voice has he to speak his creed,
His messages to humans come
By faithful conduct and by deed.
He shows, as seldom mortals do,
high ideal of being true.
American Field,
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1920-07-16
Mining Camp Humor

The average mining camp prospector
is usually a happy-go-lucky soul to
whom care is as water on a ducks
back. No matter what his environ
ment may be he makes the most and
the best of it and hardship gives hiln
little concern. He is generally blest
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1920-07-16
a Paris idea, attractively American,

a Paris idea, attractively American
lied.
Sleeves are short, almost invari-
ably; skirts are frilled at the side,
some almost suggest hoops below the
waist-line and over the hips, and
sashes adorn the majority.
Some quite handsome taffeta gowns
have overdresses or draperies of white
or cream-colored laces or organizes.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1920-07-16

There are fashionable hand bags,
handsome cigarette cases, match
cases and dressing cases, as we'll as
many other small pieces.
Some of the finer pieces are trim
med with gold, have gold corners o.
edges and are extremely good-lookins.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1920-07-16
All of Shark Leather

There are many little pocket pieces
and accessories of this comparatively
new leather.
The leather itself is soft and flex-
ible, the grain is rough, and the color
is rich, dark brown.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1920-07-16
The Turn of the Wheel

The turn of the wheel, however,
has brought as it so often does to
the well-named happy medium" and
we are learning nowadays to com
bine utility and beauty in the ideal
way. Utility, of course, speaks for
itself and has long been recognized
as of primary Importance in the mod
ern kitchen. And now beauty, hay
ing found it's way into every other
room in the home, has at last been
admitted, too. So we choose care
fully an attractive color scheme for
walls, woodwork, floor covering and
crockery, so that the whole effect is
well blended and cheerful. We have
at least one potted flower in the win
dow, and, yea, even a singing canary.
Once we thought the kitchen not
quite good enough for such fiattering
attentions, but now we realize that II
is really the very heart of the home,
the place where it's most important
business is carried on, and that who
ever carries on this important bust
ness (be she cook or wife) has a
perfect right to the most happy in
fuences around her Beauty in the
kitchen is sure to make the work more
pleasant-less like drudgery-and in
deed, can be a great help in making
it is real pleasure. And we all know
that work that is pleasure bids fair
to be a success.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1920-07-16
Taffeta FrOckS
Are Real Toppy

Some of the smartest little spring
frocks are of glistening black or mid
night blue taffeta.
Quite frequently bodies are tight
The Washington times., 1920-05-10
4 The nA!AcnALRAMY THE WASHINGTON TINES y
Seeing Into the Future--De-
creased Production on the Farms
By BILL PRICE.

Is the time coming when millions of young who
made up armies during the with Germany will be
asked drafted to the farms that food production
may be increased in keeping with national neeessesi
An interesting suggestion is contained in letter to
The Times from intelligent citizen of Washington, again
emphasizing the serious curment of food supplies of the
United States through departure from the farms Of hun
dreds of thousands Of young who prefer city life to
toiling in the soil. The writer says:
settles. Our boys T ssss Ts: s :s wen: not s md
wsS .1 Il; e 4:
s.d s.p:SI.
s.:ss q: 3,
Unless factories are going to cease production Of useful
elias. Of men who rs. need them going to fall
The actual food outlook for the future is recognized by
Government authorities serious In every State in the
Union thousands of farms have been abandoned and it
impossible to obtain all the help needed for those still in
operation when very high paid for this help
Truck farmers in and around the District in the
same situation the grain farmers and stock rasers OF the
West and South It has been estimated that there will not
be planted this year more than half of the acreage Of
war days in vegetables and fruits The rule OF supply and
demand may itself sharply than District people
now think With farm labor almost out OF question and
seeds high and scarce the who and supply the
markets of Washington may not be in position to meet the
demands of the city Result: Increased prices for
thing The great canning center of the coun-both vege
table and fuitw be up against the same sort OF cond
tons-scarcity and high prices.
The time is coming when the Government will have to
take steps to meet the situation through patriotic appeals
for movement drastic legislative action
to protect national interests.
Every man and in the District able to got pos
session of piece of ground rich enough to vegetables
should realize how much this will and every effort
sboud be made by patriotic local women to vegetables
thew raise or can buy at moderate prices.
The Washington times., 1920-05-10

\ HIRAM w. JOHNSON, OF CALIFORNIA.
Study this face. You know a strong. face when you
see it.
If you knew you were going to die in half hour and
you wanted somebody to protect your children and to fight
for their rights, would you not pick out this man?
If you going into enterprise that needed
age and power go through would you pick this
man?
Look at his face, his jaw his expression and you will
understand why he carried the State of California where he
born and why rsclass Americans voting for him
in amazing numbers the primaries all the way from Mon
tana to New York
When this talks five thousand people, he often
does those that hear him go out and talk to twenty five
thousand in the following week and say: "Id bet my
money on Johnson I've him and heard him, and I'm
for him."
That is the johnson machine and when you have that
kind of machine backed by the thinking machine that
lies back of this forehead you don't need anybodys barrel
and you don't need the Endorsement of Wall Street which
Johnson cannot get and does not want.
Theodore Roosevelt said of this man, when they ran
together the same ticket:
,,"In Governor johnson have a man whose every
word is made good by the deeds he has done-the
who, the head of great State has practically ap-
piled for the benefit of the people of that State the
principles we intend to apply throughout the Union
whole "
At that time Roosevelt said johnson is fit to be Pres
dent of the United States He is fit now; in fighting trim
He knows how the people feel about the Peace League
the high Of living controlled by corporations and other
features Of American life.
You easily tell when you look at this face that he
has the courage and the energy do what he knows ought
to be done.
In 1916 Theodore Roosevelt wrote to Edgar Williams
of the California Civil Service Commission:
II am trying to keep in touch with Hiram John
for of all the public in the country he the
one with whom find myself in most complete SYM
patty. You perfectly safe in following his lead
This country needs Therefore, the whole
nation doing in 1920 what Roosevelt doing four years
ago-"keeping in touch with Hiram Johnson"
The Washington times., 1920-05-10
Today.

Today.
Mcctinf--Zeta Tau Alpha Fraternity,
Blue Triangle Hut, North Capitol aud u
streets. 9 p. m.
Meetina-Piney Branch CIti1ens' Associa-
lion, Iowa Avenue Methodist Church, cor
nor OF Emerson street, 4 p. m.
smoker--Potnmao Council, No. t3a X. Of
G.. knlshts OF Columbus Hall, zoe Il
street northwest, O y, m
MeetinE-Junior Fire Department Of Be-
thesds, al home Of Mrs George Bradley.
Meetins--Marylsnd ststs Society. Thorn
son school. Twelfth and l. streeis uorth-
west, p. m.
concert--United States Marin. Hand.
Marine Barracks n m
Ctrous-sells.Floto, Fifteenth and II
streets northeast, Els and sib p. m
Entertsinment-SociaI and Rad tetter
Department W. G. r. u, headquarters, $40
Sixth street northwest, q D. m
The Washington times., 1920-05-10
A Broker of New York

brokerage house in New York had been taking money
large sums from policeman gambling beyond his normal
The grand jury wonders why reputable broker
age firm wiped off and charged to profit and loss about
600 owed by the policeman.
If ordinary "fence had been taking stolen prop
ery from truck driver and the grand jury around
the fence would naturally wipe the thing out of sight if
he COULD.
II the employe of broker starts stock gambling with
another broker the other broker is supposed to tell the
gambling employees employer the assumption being that
the employee is stealing from his boss
Why should that apply to employees Of brokers ONLY?
The Washington times., 1920-05-10
What's Doing; Where; When

Mecting--women's Club OF Hyattsvllle.
HyattsvIlle MP7Nnic Temple. y. m.
Addrcss--Mrs Champ Clark, Kansas City
Girls CIub, lli6 Vermont avenue northwest
3 y. m, -
Tomorrow.
Iecturc-Mrs Nanette Paul. women's
city Club, 20 Jackson place northwest. &
p. m.
NeetInE-Parkview Citizens Association,
PaTkview School building, s .. m.
Circus--sellr-Floto, Fifteenth and II
streets northeast, c:i5 and s:ib y. IN.
RasebaIl.-washinRton We, Detroit, AmerI-
can League Baseball Park, Seventh and
EIorida avenue northwest, 3:i5 .. m.
social Denco--Blue Triangle Recreation
cnnter. twentieth and " streets northwest
y. m. " 49,. ,,-,-.,- e.,
zion Center. Twentieth and u streets north
vest, 5 .. m
The Washington times., 1920-05-10

feeling that he will be able to ex-
plain and that like bad penny,
he will show up sooner or later.
No one goes to the expense Of a
cablegram for nothing and / think
it would be well to have faith in
him a little longer. Four weeks
isn't long, considering he is SO far
away. His sailing may have been
delayed and the next you may
hear from him may be when he
appears in person. Try to take
the attitude that whatever does
happen, will be the best thing for
you. If he doesn't come, you will
know that you are better off with
out him. If he does, he may have
some very good tidings. Remem-
Der the cablegram and the letter.
Those two indicate that he doesn't
intend to desert you.
DEAR MISS FAIRFAX:
As you have solved so many diff
ficult problems l am going to ask
you to help me with mine, and
sincerely hope you will not think
me small and narrow for giving
this question so much of my atten-
ton as / have tried very hard of
late to be big and broad-minded.
l have two very dear little chill
dren, one almost four years and
the other two years. Neither child
In homely, and l am sure there Is
nothing to be ashamed of but my
mother-in-law will not let them
call her grandmother. In the past
this has not worried me a great
deal. but of late U do not know
WHY, II makes me feel badly.
am Just home from an afternoon
reception, where l had my oldest
child and here a very dear old lady
told the boy to ask grandma"
something and my mother-in-law
was very indignant, and before all
the young men and women told her
not TO call her grandma. This Is
not the only case, there has been
many others where ! have suffer-
ed greater humiliation. Please,
dear Miss Fairfax, tell me how you
would look at this matter, and l
will try to abide by your decision.
LITTLE MOTHER.
Your mother-in-law is probably
lust one of those foolish women
who fight growing old so hard that
The Washington times., 1920-05-10
THE BONES OF A BIRD.

Ths bones OF . bird are made light and
air by means Of certain chambers called
air sacs." which communicate with the
lungs A blrd's bone IL fve times lighter
the upper wing OF . bird was broken so
as to protrude through the flesh. II you'd
be impossible to drown the bird by pluns-
Ing Its head under water. because the con.
nection OF the bones with the lungs In 40
complete that the bird would still breathe
by means Of the broken bone.
w. T. w. GRAVES.
The Washington times., 1920-05-10
ANOTHER TONGUE TWIsTER.

Quixote Quicksight auixd q queer
ish quidbox. q Queerish Quidbor
ouixote Quicksight quiz'd; II ouixots
Quicksight quizd . ass~rish ouidbox,
where's the dueerish ouidbox Qutxots
Quicksight Quiz'd?
LULA SPRUCE.
Kensington, Nd.
The Washington times., 1920-05-10
SOLVE THIS OLD ONE.

AZ I was going to St Ives
met a man with seven wives-
Each wife had seven Sacks
Each sack seven cats.
Each cat seven kits,
Kits, cats, sacks, wives
NV" q. H N
The Washington times., 1920-05-10

Does Postmaster CHANCE employ
Washington lizards to care for mail
boxes by leaning upon them at all
times? mi
The Washington times., 1920-05-10
"Patent Office" asks that this
nroblen, he solved.

Twenty guests are invited to . din
ner. and OF that number two certain
next to each other. although they
have no objection to sitting facing
each other. The ruests are to be
seated ten on each Of tho longer sides
o. q rectangular table In how many
WAYS can the quests be seated 40 that
Jones do not alt NEXT 10 each othArf
The Washington times., 1920-05-10

New York city lines that are ver&
much overcapitalised carry passen-
gers for 8 cents. Why must the
Washington lines. presumably minus
water. charge s cents!
e. J. COLLIER,
The Washington times., 1920-05-10
TRY-'EM-ON, SIS!

with apologies to Mr.. Bryaut)
SO dress, that whsn thy lunch hour comes
and it's time to Join
The ipnumerabls caravan. that moves
% that Mysterious Street realm whore
each lizard and liz zie shall take
His or her place In the midday dress
parade,
thou 20 not, as the fop-sisve, er-dressed,
by his debts, but, sustained and
soothed
BY tn unfaitering knowledge that thy
overails are bought and paid for, APP
proaoh thy Treasury Department
Like one who at night can unwrap the
drapery Of his blue denim
From about him. and lie him down to
pleasant dr~snnsl
r. ,XFORD L. HOLMES.
The Washington times., 1920-05-10
DEAR MISS FAIRFAX:

have read the letter Joan wrote,
and l would like to meet her.
am married and my husband
goes to night school and studies
when he is hNme.
I have a little girl (eighO. / am
twenty-five, but like girls younger
thaa myself. go to swimming
class once a week and like most
sports. We might meet, and " we
do not like each other there VIII pc
no harm done. A GIRL PAL.
Here's a chum for your married
woman who asked for a girl pal.
Another correspondent who says
she is a young married girl and
lonely would also like TO meet
Joan. She signs herself Rose
Mary.
am wondering II my young I'M
married correspondents who are
so'desperstely anxious to get mar
ried and who think all their trou-
bles will be over once they wear a
wedding ring, are noticing these
letters from young wives who are
lonely and barred from men
friends by their marriage, are
seeking congenial girl companions.
The writing Is there on the wall
for all who run to read. wonder
how many can read!
The Washington times., 1920-05-10
DOESN'T LOVE REPORTERS.

DR.. JOHN VAN SCHAICK recently
branded all Washington reporters as
Irresponsible They evidently quote
him too accurately.
BEARDLEss REPORTER.