davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-05-08

Have you ever been to FL Pasor
{ he was asked.
NO" he said. THAT reminds me
I Of q story. A Texan came 70 New
York and he dropped his cigar in the
gutter. The wind was blowing and
he was sort Of blinded when he picked
it Up. He put It into his mouth and
then began TO splitter"
What's the matter. BnIF his
companion asked.
Did you ever taste New York
gutter duEtf' nili asked.
Never did, said his eompan-
ion
@sWeH, you never missed
much said Bill.
As Jack sheehan would say, !
don't ike to talk about myself" but
replied 20 that man about az fol-
lows; Yes, you missed a great deal
You missed seeing a live city Of e5,-
600 real people who are the
healthiest. cleanest. Invest bunch OF
liberal minded persons you ever saw.
They don't sit down and say 70 them
selves that there is no place else on
earth They make money and they
spend II travelling and seeing other
cities and other people.
eve think further than the
next block and We inform our
selves about the rest OF our c0un-
Try - sic We ANAIk We nAHe the
best section Of II, we know there
are other good places and we are
willing 10 admit IL. In fact, We
ure glad there ARE other places,
else there ere n lot Of narrow,
intolernnt people who might be
dumped down on Us and we'd
lave an awful tizae making real
Americans ont OF them.n
We soon became pretty good
friends and he said he was going TO
California some day and he'd stop
and see us
Rotarians Are Alive.
As they usually are everywhere,
the Rosarians are the real progress
sives up here. At the Rotary luncheon
in New York. on the 2fth floor OF
the AcAlpin, I was introduced last
as Rotarian from FL
PasO and was asked 10 say some
thing 70 them ] said: I'm glad 70
be here. as we usually take YOU at
your own estimation and recognize
you IN New York as the fountain
head OF everything. This Is the high
luncheon above the 10th floor before.
Down in Fl Paso- IN Gods country,
where the blue sky and the stars are
50 close 70 US, II we ever got Up p
stories, we'd be shaking hands with
the angels.
The New York Rctarians are carry
Ing out big program for boys and
all tlis week are having exercises
IN the interest OF boys work. There
Is to be q parade with a band OF
music by 400 boys in the lead as one
feature Four hundred Rotarians are
10 talk at mass meetings this week
n commercial establishments and
factories in the interest OF the work. I
They are doing big work for the
boys. lust as the I'll PaEo Rorarians
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-05-08
81 Lina CaoaLieri
The Most Famous Living Beauty.

spoonful OF boraU In a gallon Of
water IS sufficient
Two shamroos a week in water
In which ammonia has been sDrinl<led
soon brings about a tightening OF
the hair. One gallon Of water and
hah wineglassful Of ammonia Is
a good proportion
A shampoo once a week in a gal
Ion Of warm water, with a heaping
tablespoonful Of washing soda in IL,
IS the spcediest agent I know for
tightening the hair, except peroxide.
which some blondes who do not wish
actually 70 bleach their hair use in
small proportions in the shampoo.
One tablespoonful Of peroxide Of
hydrogen in a gallon OF water is
the usual proportion
But let me whisper TO you a secret
To counterfeit the drying tendency
Of All these ingredients you should
massage your scalp occasionally with
very tiny bit Of olive oil or sweet
almond oil This viii help 70 bring
back the natural oil TO the hair and
restore me seoaceous glands 70 their
normal 1uucti0niEg-
Every one expects light hair 10 be
fluffy Fluffinezs is the accompani-
menr Of goldenness in hair, and the
observer Of beauty Is always dis
appointed II he sees fair hair smooth
Smoothness seems TO belong rather
TO dark hair. The blonde should so
como and brush hers that each hair
is Separate and distinct from the
Others. This gives an aureoie-lii-e
effect 10 her face and wonderfully
softens her features
me blonde can make her fair hair
AufIy by drawing i into a loose mass
atter shampoo and tying il with a
ribbon, letting It dry thus. II the
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-05-08

political social commercial o. in
duatriaL Is bein' addressed right an
left on ever problem confrontin' tn
world today. Ever train or interur-
ban Whizzin' East or West. North or
SOUTH ia speedin' some speaker on
his way r IN q speakin' date. Ever
buddy that kin speak Is away from
home speakin', Some new club or
o. ganizatiQn springs up ever hour in
n day an some new speaker springs
up Q speak q 81. Never before wuz
ther as many conventions. never be-
fore Wuz Their as many clubs. never
before Wuz Their as many oreaniEa-
tions O. ever kind, an never before
Wuz Their as many speakers. We
don't believe Their W-uz ever a time
when Their WuZ as many topics-as
many problems an conditions 4 dis-
cuss. An further more We don'5 be-
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-05-08

woman told him she did not sell
them, but he could get them at
cigar store on the other side Of
the street. He naked her n she
would not 80 and get them for
him she would not, 40 he ran
over hiniseIf-and sot his own
ciEurs-"
And Eds little jibe at the price
OF candy reminds one that a 'rasher
Of bacon" Is quoted on the menu
cards up here at from Is cents up
ard a 'rasher" means one strip.
But, mixing bacon and Ed
Wynn, back TO Wynn. After re-
ferrinE 10 the high cost OF living,
be sayss Il tell you, they are
going 20 change, these prOfitecrs
are I saw n perfectly good So
suit Of clothes In the window
fodnys Of course, Il was marked
SOS, but that didn't keep "a FROM
being a perfectly good SIS suit"
he introduces three japanese chill
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-05-08

BLONDE must remember that her
a type has the most delicate COM
pleEion Ia the world To ao-
cenuate her blondness she should
keep her hair as light as possible,
che should ear such food as viii en-
rlcn her golden coloring. such as
oranges ana fresh vegetables.
~ naLefeE TENDS 20 the accumula-
ton OF fat must be avoided. The
111e1 appearance that comes early
% most blondes should be vigorously
stunned. And in the matter OF dress
Ene must taEe care % emphasize her
golden colofslE-
While Il IS true that woman's hair
hair iz her aureole-her halo OF
beauty Hair the time and attention
she gives to her toilet should be
given 20 her hair As a rule the
blondes hair is known for its yellow
or golden tint This tint is the key
note OF her beauty and should be
enhanced in every possible way.
Nc Fear Of Fading.
she may wash her hair as often
as she likes with no fear Of its fad
ing The lighter it becomes the bet
Ter. FOR her there need be no fear
OF using carefully those aids ia
cleansing the haar-ammonia, borax
or washing soda Zach OF these. II
often used. tends TO make the hair
several shades lighter but n too
large quantities or used TOO often ii
viii make the hair brittle.
Because Il does not matter how
Light her hair becomes the blonde
nay wash her hair more often than
the hru1ztte- A shampoo Ia boraL
water once or twice a week inVarl-
ably Lighters the hair. one table
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-05-08

Then. there's wear and tear on the
/ heard her one bay
Iucessantly say
I'm going 20 vote Tor Ill.
Limerick No. =
one night while the show was re-
And our stage director was cursins.
A girl ten years OLD
Remarked very bold;
I'm voting for General -.
Limerick No. 3.
A weasel who seemed very proud In
The knowledge that he'd packed a
crowd in
said. Listen. old nut.
I don't know you, but
i m voting for Governor ---.
Limerick No. T.
A Walrus named Abraham Ryan
said, Il like a bird who keeps trying,
And therefore I ask a
Loud cheer for Nebraska
And your vote for william J. ----.-
Limerick No. B.
A squirrel IN 3 vegetable sardins
Remarked z most humoly beg pard-
ing,
But have an aunt IN
The city Of Canton
Who's pulling for Senator --."
Limerick No g.
A child who was built like a mover
Asked the waiter TO fetch nors
doeuvre.
The waiter said what
II must be you've got
A grudge against old Herhert -.'
Limerick No. J.
An endive who looked very foolish
And seemed 70 have habits quite
Ehouiish
said, Il an from Mass.
And ] think that the class
OF the outfit BE- Governor --
Limerick No. 3
There was q young waffle who stood
In a spot where she never Of should
say, listen" she cuoth.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-05-08
By c. A. MARTIN.

are doing IN their work for the 30,
Scouts.
The main highway between New
I York ana Baltimore, across New
Jersey and Delaware, Is made Of con-
crete-Without any dressing or sur.
facing OF any bituminous substance
It Is plain concrete and you see
trucks loaded with all sorts Of ton
mage traversing II. The Lincoln
highway markers are located along
the road.
was Impressed with the i'm
portance OF a slogan for a city as we
passed Trenton At the depot, on the
bridge over the river and wherever
you look, the Trenton slogan is in
sight. II says; Trenton Makes; the
World Takes"
New York City has a great traffic
signaling system on Fifth avenue.
Towers are erected In the center OF
the street and there are electric
lights shining Up and down the thor
oughfare. When the yellow light is
burning, all traffic moves up and
down the avenue When the yellow
light goes out and green one comes
on, the traffic stops and vehicles and
cross over. The signals are worked
from one station ike a telegraph OF
fire alarm system. Traffic COPS at
the corners merely see that the driv-
ers obey the signals. The system
has the advantage OF keeping all
traffic on the avenue moving its fun
length at the same time and there
are never any jams.
Out at Coney IsIand, they have
riding device they can esouornr
possibly because Of its revolu-
tons.
II is mnch easier TO cross Fifth
avenue than any Of the other streets
Of New York because % its traffic
signal system One doesn't wonder
that New York produced so many
draft evaders,
You get 80 used 10 evadinE
vehicles that you ure liable 20
evade debts, the draft or any
thing else, just ~ a matter OF
Broadway and 45th street is a very
bad place for traffic. A visitor
asked a cop; do people lose their
lives often here2
only once" replied the COP
This recalls the story OF Ed Wynn
at the New Amsterdam, who tells
about a man who ran over himselt-
Here's the way Ed tells its II
had Just stepped lnfO = candy
store 20 set 20 cents worth Of
cholocnfe nlmonds- had puF-
CHASED and eaten all six Of them
daughter. pleased and WIS about
10 20 ont when a nan came In
and asked for some ciEura- The
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-05-08

WASHINGTON, D. c., Nay S.
w Somewhere in the Bible some
thing is said about someone
being criticised severely for feeling
himself -holier than thou" but ct
Eisk Of being criticised, Il can safely
5e said that we In the west have a
great deal 20 be thankful for; We
cen take consolation from the fact
that we ARE westerners and that
we 1--we out IN q country where the
mesas and the plains are broad and
peoples thoughts are like the coun-
Up here in the east they are so
narrow you couldn't get a dime be-
tween their eyes IN many instances
They are not narrow reliEiUusly or
morally, as the Quakers and the
PuritanE Were-nOt by a jolly little
jugfull; they are narrow In the sense
That they are self conferred and be-
lieVe so implicitly IN themselves and
oeF4ul field Tor g western mission
ary, Il he didn't feel SO sorry for
their Ignorance and SELF conceit that
he lost his uemper-
The Fastener Pity.
The typical New Yorker, when you
say you are from the west, begins 20
lock suspiciouEly at your hands. for
fear you are going to make a quick
pass for the hip pocket He expects
he wonders how you can spend a
week in New York, SO far away from
your flicker" He just can't imagine
civilization west Of the Potomac and
he thinks you ought 20 90 into a 1T
over the iuaue stuff they palm of
FOR Amusement in the white light
district ana II you don't he thinks
you haven't intelligence enough 20
understand. He uitiez you II you 90
snto raptures-because you have 50
o A. L.
be pities Tou u you don't because he
thinks sou don't understand.
Talk Of Texas and they throw up
their hands. ana it's worse when you
talk OF Arizona and New Mexico
Those two states are vague spots on
the map TO keep away from. one
ma1 wanted 70 know how we kept
the rlttlesnazes and the glla mon
sters away az night when We slept
ana II We didn't sleep with a quart
Of whisky beneath our pillows as
an autidots for these and cenripedes.
He was serious. Just as the war
CorresnO visits Sd Pasu and
comes back east and tells OF the
wonderful things that never hap
pened. SO the visitor from the east
raising tales OF things ne never saw
-and the folks at home who think
Hoboken is a long distance vest be-
ueTs him.
And while on the subject Of Hobo ]
ken, and this applies 10 other indus
trial cities here, their people are /
born and live 20 manhood and Wom- Z
anhuod in renements and apartment I
houses that no decent FL Fas0an I
would think OF even renting-and /
that is going some.
Ezs Ensf's Nonchallnce.
A pOiur 4 have IN mind illustrates I
what you meet IN any eastern city. /
7 was introduced 10 one Of the mem /
bers OF a big auditing firm. as being /
from TeIas-E Paso, 70 be exact
the introducer said.
Il was In Texas once" said The .
man J. was INTRODUCED TO- i went I
down 20 Corpus Christi and 7
stopped In Beeville. Never again Q
FOR me-
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-05-08
Couderts Pay Taxes
On Cars Locomotives

Paterson, y. J.. May S.-Coudert
Brothers. New York attorneys. have
paid the Paterson tax department
S26.700 delinquent taxes on the
forty-seven locomotives built by the
American Locomotive company OF this
city. In 1917 FOR the Imperial Russian
government. The locomotives were
recently seized by Coudert Brothers
on an execution secured by creditors
OF the late Car Nicholas.
Because Of the revolution In Russia.
the locomotives were never taken
from Paterson and taxes were levied
on them for 1913 and 1913.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-05-08
WHAT'S TIT MATTER WITH TIT TIMES?

her address. "Th' sim in tn Home;
Constable Newt Plum is az Paris,
lllinoy, where he'll address tn MID
Motorized Liquor Traffic.; Dr. Mopps
Is confined c his home BY Neuritis
an dictatiu' communications Q
various newspaper shown up tn
travelin' records an cabinet changes
O former Presidents Squire Marsh
swallow is In CLYDE. Ohio. where he'u
assail IN league OF nations before IN
Northern Ohio Eraut Makers Con-
Venuon. Miss Fawn Lippincut is
giviu' her new address. Where Is
Ny Daughter Tnight." before the
Woman's Club at kokomo. Indiana,
an flnky Kerr is addressin' tn Com
mercial Club az Zanesfieid, Ohio. on
Employe an Employer il seems
ike ever club or organization,
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-05-08

leve ther ever wuz a time when III
public wuz as lefuddlad. Ever
ouddy's workin' ever uuddy's get
money an SILK shirts an batter an
cars They buy shoes with impunity
an talk In three figures an plan T.
spend th summer at m lakes. Even
plug hats threaten z become poplar
agin, yet eVer'buddy seems Z think
thai somethir's aWfully wrong. Uncle
Niles Turner Is upwards o. ninety
eight an he SAYS that never. as fer
hack as he kin remember. WIZ Their
ever as much taikin' Eoiu' on as Their
~ right row. not only IN congress
Tut ever where-ncVer as many
smooth. plausible speakers trampin'
1lcuul. an SAYS he. Never herr-a ~
Ter as ] kin recall. wuE Their as little
lein' accomplished Copyrieht
National Newspaper Service
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-05-08

TIL towns jest about deserted
1 o'day. Tell Binkley is down z
Tulip where he's q address tn
Tornado Insurance Writer'S associa-
ton on 18th Trade Winds o. IN
indian Ocean; Hon. ex-Editur Gale
Fiuhart is IN Bloom Center. havin'
been called there q address tn Tri-
County Bar Association on 9TH
Futility o. Debate; Lafe Bud Is in
koundhead, Ohio. whittier he went e
address g advertisin' club on How
tn Wrist Watch Has Stimulated tn
Lost an Found Column. Mrs. Upton
Bud is at Mulberry Junction. at
which place she'll talk to housewives
on "Th' Sugar Line: Miss Name
Noon is tOurin tn river towns with
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-05-08

CIDNEY hooks has taken up his old
y last sumner habit Of leaning
against one Of the posts on the porch AZ
the postoffice. While the p0stoffirs
does belong to everybody, no one per
son ought TO get It into his head that
he can have more Of his share Of the
benefits and privileges, and if Sid IS
going to do this all summer he ought
to pay extra
On account Of everything else going
up, another story VII have to be added
to the Rye Straw store.
TIE 1ickville brass band has chal-
lenged the Calf Ribs baseball nine for
a game Of ball A committee Of ten
from each side win convene at Tick
VIII Saturday to fix the date and
choose an empire.
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-05-08

The salmon leaves the sea and en-
tiers fresh water IN order . breed.
while the eel leaves the fresh water
nose
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-05-08
Line O. Cheer
Each Day o. The Year
By JOHN KENDRICK BANGS.

7 IFE's fun Of don'ts. TIE written
Laws intent
On mere Prohibiting seems
wholly bent
You MUST NOT THIS. you Nay NOT
VENTURE THAT,
TIN pestered man scarce knows
where he is at.
And with 40 wish 20 wander into
crime
Is doing things he MUsN TOT all the
I sometimes think tie world would
better be
II IN the Laws we frequently might
see
Instead Of DoNTs a little hint pr
OF This and That that We would
better Do
MOTHER-GOOsE REVISED
THERE was a man in our town
Who was so w0udrous wise
He always kept his temper down
And smiled with lips and eyes,
He kept his heart 90 fun Of cheer,
His soul with love ahrim
That Care cried-.NothinE doing
hererf
And never bothered him
Copyright. 1920, Mcclure NcW1-
paper Syndicate
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-05-08

We Should Thankful We Live Land Of Broad Plains And Ms
Peoples Thoughts Like The Country Typical New Yorker Expects West
To Daw And Wear Boots And Wonders How Latter Can Stay Week
Away From His .Lcker": El Pasoans Observations The East
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-05-08
Lardner Starts A Limerick Contest
That Won t Strain Readers Brains

Il can't vote for both.
50 I'm voting for General --.
Limerick No. 8.
girl whom you'd want for your
paruner
fBut several escorts was guarding
herr
Remarked 20 a fish.
You may vote as you wish,
But I'm for
El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-05-08

lcoDyrighL 1870, ~ the Ben syn-
dicate, Iuc-l
Another Ring ". Lnrdner article
viii be published in these columns q
week from today.
nIr. Inrdner q 10 cover the Ma
tionul Republican and Demoerlfic
conventions for The II Paso Herald
On his iniuitable style His articles
VIII be wired 20 The Il Pnzo Herald
daily fram the Chieago and san iran
cisco during these conventions
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-09-21
Moley Heads Party Bound
 for BucUiLIe
By MARVIN MCCARTHY


 Headed by Manager Moiesworth,
 the little party of Bnrons bound
 for Pittsburg to join Barney Drcy-
 fuss and his hustling Pirates,
 left the Terminal station last
 night.
 Those who went along to cast
 their fortunes with those of the.
 Buccaneers were Clyde Barnhart.
 John Dewey Morrison and whftey
 GIaxner.
 Clyde Barnhart, third baseman, was loaned the Barons by Barney Drey- fuss shortly after the opening of tht past season. Barney has played such good game with the Barons that he was recalled and will be giver another chance with the Bucs this fal and next spring.
 Morrison and Glazner, pitchers, were sold to the Pirates by the Barons about two months ago. Both were leading hurlers in the Southern League and should make good with the Drey- fussites.
 Manager Molesworth Is going tc Pittsburg with his charges, where ht will turn them over to their new boss After hanging around and looking over whatever there Is to see in the line of playing talent, Manager Moles' worth will turn homeward and vii finally land in his old burg oi Fredericksburg, Maryland.
 Twill be next spring before the loca fans here more of the chubby chiet tan and his plans of organizing win ming baseball team.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-09-21
All Purchases to
 Be in Sept. 27th
Time for Filing Reserve Lists
 Is November l

Cincinnati. September 20.--All pur- chase of minor league players by ma jor league clubs must be closed at loon on Monday September 21 next, the Ma tional baseball comm ission announced q in a notice to all major league clubs. made public here todya.
 The time for filing reserve lists IS to be November 1. instead of October l, and no waivers are to be requested on any players between October 1 and October 12, the period during which club officials actually attending the worlds series or other post season games.
 The commission says it's rulings gre made necessary so as to give major league clubs ample time to get, rid of their surplus players before they sub init their fortyplayer reserve fst. which it seems impossible for some to do prior to October l.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-09-21
YOU WOULDN'T TRY
 ID TAME A WILDCAT
Mir. Dodson Warns Against Use of Treacherous, Danger
 ous Calomel

Calomer salivates, It's mercury. Calomel acts like dynamite on a slug gish liver. When calomel comes into contact with sour bile it crashes into it. causing cramping and nausea.
 If you feel bilious. headachy, consti- rated and all knocked out just go to your druggist and get bottle of bod sons Liver Tone for few cents, which is harmless vegetable substitute for dangerous calomel. Take spoonful and if 1t doesn't start your liver and straighten you up better and quicker than nasty calomel and without mak- ing you sick. you just go back and get your money.
 If you take calomei today you'll bc sick and nauseated tomorrow; besides it may salivate you. while If you take Dodson's Liver Tone you will wake up fe cling great, full of ambition and ready for work or play. It's harmless pleasant and safe to give tn children 1, they like it.-Adv.