The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-10-24
Bill Vines Has Found Out
 What Is the Matter Befween
 Laboring Man and Capital

and six doller shurts will gi-e a dinnur at the Waldoff-Asorria to a floss named Man O War" who happend to win a big rase feeding the. Hoss on Friccaseed oats and canary burd feethers and stuffing themselves with Chickens a Ia King and contrband Shampaign and turn down request for the - purchase of a two dollar ticket to the firemans ball for the benefit of a hero who broke his leg recu- ing a widder woman with thurteen childrin in a tenniment fire; then they wunder what tn 'lr' is the mattur with the country
 Of corse all capitol is not that way-theere air menny and no.e- bull exseptsions; theere air menny of theese exseptsions rite around you, exseptsions who long ago reealized that the wurking man had sum emosions at times almost human and was as susseptabull to gennerus treatment as canny- date for Congress to a campaign contribusion. wherever you note theese exseptsions you will also note that it is as peeseful as Mir Cox's inturpretasion of the Leege of Nasions
 But not all of the trubble is With Capitol; not so as you would notiSe It. Labor has a smuch to be resRonsibul1 for as Capitoi-- that is we mife moddify by saving the Labor leedurs air responsibuII. The average labor leedur used to Wurk himself and in most cases has formed a distaste for a reg ular job involving physical exur- sion that bordurs on actuel abhor- enre.
 lie is an intelligent and smooth citlzun, as a rule, and in most in- stlhces reealizes that he has a good Job and has no immediate or press ing desire to separate himself from 1t. He's bound to see that if Capi- tol and Labor join the same Lodge that he will be about as useless as oattle-axe in soap factory; he has a Keen and abiding inturrest in I.a- Dor and is as hostile to Capitol as Lloyd Gawge is to the Syn Finnurs; he also wants to ern an honnest liv- ving. but has a week hart and his fammerly physician has warned him against too much exercise so he sees to it that the "outrages committed by CapitoF' air not overlooked by la- Dor; if capitol gets little sluggish and theere happens to be a scarsity Of outrages he can always be de- pended upon to ring in sum old and motheaten outrages and polish them up and garrantee that they air just as good as new. On occasions he can evven manufacture small and fairly useful outrage of his own--givving Capitol unselfishly dew creddit for it and use it quite .effectuelly for To- cal consumpsion three or fore of theese guys can get togethur and get up perfectly honnest to goodness Nasionel outrage that would deserve almost enny boddy Of course theree is no way on earth to reesun with sum of theese burds exsept by slip ping sumthing under his pillow; then it's good idear to have a string or sumthing tied to it
 Of corse when I make this state- mint, I know that theere air folks who will say when they need it. My what a Burd of Lyer Bill Vines is enny how;'' but I have thought that all out-threere air sum who air synceer, and if theere weer not ana theere were no CapitOliStS who ehturtained symilar veews, then this country would be in helufafix. That Is wheere our hope cums in. Maybe out of theese exceptions have mensioned and the exampul for good set by them will cum read justmint of Capitol and Labor tru- bles.
 If they don't then I can't flgger how its curhmng, unless Wimmins suffrage furnishes a solution. Frum what we have heard of Wimmns Suffrage it is like Meachum's Pills ---it is good for evyery thing; per haps the wimmin will bring Cap itol and Labor togethur. and make them kiss and make up, but theeres a lot of us rum Missouri--tho' we wish 'em luck Of corse if the Wimmin put this ovver they'll, furst have to git theese Danes who ride around in Sixteen Syllendur Lymoseens to refrain frum hoist ing theere noses to an ellevasion of go degrees dew North evvery time they cum in contack with a fee mail spessimen of the proletaryat and looking sed feemail ovver with one of theese double barrel long, vets like they was afraid she mite have Gurms or sumthing. That sort of thing, cawses talk and ant wurth d d--n no way. Of corse, the James of the Laboring classes can't play bridge. nor dance a my nouett or shimmy. but they have useful accomplishments in uther lines in which theere sisturs in High Sosiety would make Bum competitors. So what we've all got to do is to give and take and smile and look plesent and har- moniously arrive at mutuel agree mint that this good old LISA be- longs to us and rum its rich and bounteus resources theere is plenty for evvery boddy if we will quit kicking and not be hogs.
 So far as I am consumed am willinS to donate all my power ful inflewance to such an end. and, am willing to stop being a