The Washington herald., 1920-09-26

stituted.
Some OF the items in the monthly
statement of this colossus are stag
gering. Here, for instance:
Cash on hand ........ 1916, ,642,s00
Advances on current and
other accounts .... .s925, SCI ! so
Investments 1886. .431 .7s5
Big figures are so common that
small sums like ten or twenty mill
ions of dollars may be likened to
what some persons term chicken
feed"
Queer things float into a newtpa-
per office. For instance: From the
Astrological Bureau Of Bhaynagar,
in far-away India, there comes an
application blank for membership in
| the cotton department Of the bU-
reau. In consideration Of a pay
ment of 81 rupees down, the blank
explains, and agreement Of further
payment Of Is per cent Of all profits
that result, the bureau will advise
us as TO its forecast Of the course Of
the cotton market.
We hope" says a note that ac-
! companies the membership blank,
you might have noticed the accu-
racy Of our predictions forwarded
to your address in June which have
proved successful at the end of July.
We inclose herewith our fore
tollings for January position, 10
which we invite your attention and
hope that our predictions may pos
sibly be OF value to you and your
friends
We hope you will induce others
ri 1z f~V
among your friends, for which act
of kindness We shall remain highly
obliged. Also We wish to have a
testimonial from your goodseIf and
we are sure We will receive il with
in short period"
/ A rupee nominally is worth 1856
cents. At present it is at a discount
and rates around 1925 cents. That
would mean that for Sl7 American
money the bureau would tip US of
as to what the stars in the skies Of
India have to say about the price
of January cotton. The charge is
what ArtemUs Ward would term -
, mulch Besides, the Astrological
Bureau has lot OF competition In
every town in the nine cotton states
OF the United States a man can get
I a hot tip on cotton free. gratis. for
'nothlnE from any man he meets
The most widely used Interrogation
4 heard is What do you think about
cotton" 1t is a wholly misleading
question, for the man who asks il
does not want your opinion. but uses
that Introductory query to tell you
what he thinks OF the STAPLE.
There is one good and safe tip on
playing the cotton market That is
Don't" The cotton market has had
many kings. They all went broke.
No one makes money gambling on
cotton except those who have the
kitty" which is another term for
the commissions on the play.
No wonder there is a paper short
age. In the first week Of September
the German Government increased
its issue Of paper marks by l.7OO.-
100000. making the total now in cir
culatiOn 100000. 600. At the rate
the Germans are going they'll break
the world record established by the
/ Russians, whose principal industry
seems to be in working the printing
presses night and day turning out
what passes for money but which
has little or nothing of value back
Of it.
One OF the big bonding companies
has started to investigate the rec
ords, associations and living condi-
tiOns OF the 10000 employees Of New
York Stock Exchange brokerage
houses
The bonding people say the en-
ployes welcome the move. as II will
clear out those who are unworthy
of trust and also put an end to the
suspicion and embarrassment the
honest and worthy have known, ow-
ing to the many robberies in the A.
nanCial district that followed the
hiring OF anybody with two legs
who. could be aged in the days
when Wall street had a labor short
age unparalleled.
When ne bonding company COM
nletes its job every brokerage house
employe will be card-indeNed The
company will not stop with this rec
ord, but will attempt to keep track
Of the workers from now on.
Tom" Byrncs, when inspector OF
police, had a better system. He had
a dead line" at Fulton street, south
OF which no suspicious character
was permitted to go.
How great a change there was
after Byrnos' death was illustrated
in the case Of Simon HerziE, alias
George Graham Rice, who. after
serving his third term in prison.
went to Wall Street, bought a staid
Z old publication and in short time
was the most prominent figure on
the Curb.