The news scimitar. (Memphis, Tenn.) 1907-1926, 1920-03-19
THEHASKINLETTER
NEW YORK'S HELLO TROUBLE
BY FREDERIC ]. HASKIN.

NEW YORK, March 1S.--When one of
the seven million people in New York
City reaches out these days through
that marvellous modern network which
makes up the telephone system of the
metropolis and tries to tag another par
ticular individual in the great mass for
a bit Of talk, he is likely to have trou-
BILE. The infinitely complicated task Of
putting the people Of Americas mighty
mart in telephone communication is
all gummed UP and not working prop
erly, and, despite his stoicism, Father
knickerbocker is getting fussy about it.
New York Is an extraordinarily good
natured city. Or, perhaps it is merely
apathetlc after long years of wearing
auVersity. Anyway, 1t bears with Spar
tan tortitude the burdens Of civic in
efficiency which would not be tolerated
by most American communities.
Even Arctic explorers must have felt
an overwhelming gust of pity for the
cltys recent plight when 1t suddenly be-
came covered with half foot of snow,
which refused to melt, but New York
ers endured the catastrophe with their
usual stoical calm. Apparently, they
thought 1t was only natural that a
storm, the traces of which would have
been quickly cleared away by a less
lethargic municipality, should complete
~ paralyze the transportation facilities
OF Manhattan for a whole week; cut off
food supplies, and make walking to
work as risky an adventure as winter
climbing in the Alps. The newspapers
said some unkind things about the
mayor, but for the most part, New
York bore the loss of it's motor cars,
70 NJ hall
without whimper.
In like manner, the city has for the
past six months nobly endured the
strain of a telephone service, which is
not only worse than any encountered in
most rural America, but which has
taken the BOBBY prize away from Eu-
rope. Telephoning in New York these
days has several well-defined and pain
full stages, like pneumonia. 1t pro-
ceeds like this:
Upon calling a number, in the first
place, you are invariably told that the
line is busy. Then, if central cannot
get rid of you this way, the next time
you are told that the number does not
answer. Protesting this, you are next
connected with the wrong number
Eventually after waiting anywhere
from twenty to fifty minutes, you get
the right number and about to de-
liver an important message to the per-
son at the other end of the wire when,
Of course, you are cut off-for the first
time. After that, you are cut off so
frequently, with such logged persist
ence on the part Of the operator that
your conversation never gets beyond
the stage of desperate "hellos." If 1t
does, central Immediately puts someone
else on the same line, so that, after a
fierce, unintelligible battle, you are
usually compelled to hang up the re-
Nd NJ nh
ed, to the floor
But II, by any chance, you are weary
and decide TO retire early after a day
OF hard toll, or II there happens to be
Illness in your family, why then you
are literally overwhelmed by the alert
ness and efficiency OF the telephone
service. In fact. the whole department
you how we'll 1t works. 1t will call you
UP to ask you II the service has i'm
proved, and after that It viii call you
frequently and loudly just 70 beg your
pardon or to tell you that someone else
had been trying to get you. hut had be-
come discouraged.
For months, as has been said, New
York has stood this sort OF thing with
dignity and tolerance. 1t has joked
about IL. and 1t has even tried to pre-
tend that waiting for telephone calls
was good for H. Cheerful attention was
directed TO the beneficial fGpoSe 70 be
gained feew sitting with once eyes
closed while waiting FOR call in tel
ephone booth, while, not long ago, 1t
was pointed out by some jolly soul that
standing in n correct position while at
the phone was splendid form OF ex
ercise. There Is a great hunt on for
hobbies with which one may I'LL In
these waits. The advocates OF systems
OF mental calisthenics that will CORFU
gate the cerebellum are reaping n con-
sequent harvest.
Apparently the telephone company Is
not able to make use OF the very OBJ
vious fact that, by plugging a call prop
erly the first time, that call can be
handled more economically than by
making It necessary that h should be
repeated.
ever, New York has at last begun to
demonstrate the well-known face that
the worm will turn. It has turned on
the New York telephone company the
full force of late but ponderous disap-
proval. Tho city Ia hummlng like a
beehive with proposed remedies for the
present abominable service, as well as
threats OF what win happen II II isn't
improved. Most encouraging of these
Is the plan Of a New York ASSEMBLE
man, Louis A. Cuvillier. OF Manhattan,
To introduce into the Legislature q bill