The Washington herald., 1920-11-08
AMATEUR GUIDE.
GIVES UP JOB.
Willard Kiplinger Fails to
Interest Tourist From VIII
SON S Home Town.
BY LABERT ST. CLAIR.


willard Kiplinger, the only WASH
ington bank representative who
ever sold aluminium ware to Mrs.
Warren @. Harding, was walking
along the street, the other day.
when President wilson and Mrs.
Wilson passed in an open carriage.
Ever the soul Of kindness, Kip
linger stepped over to q crowd of
sightseers and said:
There goes the President"
Yes" yawned one of the sight
seers. I'VE come from his home town
down in Virginia, and We call him
Tommie."
Hereafter Kiplinger will confine
his sightseeing lecture work ex-
clusively to representatives of for
eign governments who can present
afiidavits that they have been in
this country less than one day.
"Suspender Jack" MCGEE is back
in the limelight again. This time, a
New York legislator. Is trying to put
Jack out of business by making il
illegal for any notary to solicit
business by means OF a sandwich
board. Latterly Jack has been gath
ering in stray half dollars by walk
ing up and down in front OF the
New York State automobile license
office in Manhattan advertising the
fact that he is a notary and will
sign papers and SO forth.
This will cause a momentary
furry. but Jacks one act that will
live forever, perhaps, to make him
famous was his nomination OF Oscar
Straus for the Progressive guberna
torial nomination of New York in
1919. That was as dramatic an in
cident as I ever have witnessed in
several hundred county. State and
national conventions.
The convention was held 81
Syracuse. Strauss name had not
been mentioned. Several others had.
There was bitter fight on. 1t looked
like a prolonged deadlock.
Suddenly. far back In the rear ot
the hall, up rose a tall, odd LOOKING
man, who wore a bandanna hand
kerchief about his throat and who
spoke in a voice that fairly doomed
throughout the building. When he
first spoke and the crowd turned To
look at the disturber. he was jeerod.
Wait, my friends, he said. Re
member, IL was the quackinE "'
geese that saved Rome. am going
to place in nomination a man, tn"
mention of whose name will bring
tears to your eyes Tears because OF
the good he has done In his Ions
and useful life"
These words obtained silence for
McGee and in the few minutes that
followed he made as fine a nominat-
ing speech as ever has been made.
Not In howery language. But in
plain words that sank home. Straus
was nominated by the convention.
1T made Jack famous, but he had
some tough luck. anyhow. Good
friends Of Strauss. who had been
indulging in garlic. insisted on kiss
ing Jacki
Speaking of the struggles some
European nations are putting up
for an existence, Philip II. Gadsden.
Of Philadelphia, who was prominent
In Washington railway circles dur
ing the war. tells this story:
One night a hapless citizen going
home. was set upon by two thugs
and badly beaten. When he fell.
unconscious. after a terrific fight,
to the sidewalk, the thugs went
through his clothes and found, to
their utter dismay, only fifteen
cents One of the robbers, disgust
ed. kicked the PROSTATE citizen a
couple Of times and made Off down
the street But the second thug
stayed behind TO investigate the
case more fully. A second search
OF the victims clothes. however.
failed to reveal more than the fif-
teen cents. so the thug sat down
TO await the awakening of his vio-
tim, When he returned TO conscious
ness. the thief said:
Is this fifteen cents all the
money that you have7"
victim. -
Well. ! believe you,. tAs sAas
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