Omaha daily bee., 1920-08-18
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Music Hath Charms
By SAM HELLMAN,

Soothing the savage beast is only
one of great variety OF stunts that
music is capable of. 1t can harm
as well as charm; il can arouse you
from your sleep or lull you into
slumber; it can make you propose or
start a divorce action; it can even
make you like this story. Try read
ing it while little needle is scratch
ing something sobby out of round
rubber disc.
Alice Higgins was i'll music at
the Peerless department store. She
was not only in it, but among it,
around it, against it and over it.
Alice's piece de resistance was SELL
ing monographs in the basement
S. monographs on which l0-cent
records were played, Is cents when
they had THE Holy City" on one
side and Pretty Baby" ON the
other.
The big idea in selling a S. pho
nograph is to prove to prospective
customers that it can play music. so
Alice's main job was demonstrat-
ing. Alice had once liked music.
Before coming to the store she had
been known to weep over "The Ro-
sary" and once was almost tempted
to send mash note to the six-a-day
baritone in the movie who sang
Till the Sands OF the Desert Grow
Cold"
The third day Alice was on the job
she played 254 records, ranging from
"Bach's Fuguc in F Minor" to III
YOU Knock the L Out of Kelley,
Sure He'll Knock the L Out OF
Hor." Owing to the strained Ger
man-Amerlcan relations probably.
Bach didn't 60 very good. but the
ivr!c about the not-too- -proud-to-
hght Kelly sold big.
Pretty sofr." commented her
friend Sadie Sheehan. in Candies, as
she went by Music one afternoon.
Nothing to do but listen to swell
music all day
soft; is it" retorted Alice, "I
have to listen to all of this stuff all
day. How would you like to have
10 cat all the candy you sell?"
Just then customer approached.
= want to buy one of them rec
ords." she said.
Yes, ma am; what one?"
| don't know. Play them and
I'll pick it out"
"We have hundreds" said Sadie,
what kind OF music do you like?"
u like them classial things-those
pieces by Choping or that fellow
Irving from Berlin"
Alice, after playing several scores
OF records, finally wrapped up for the
customer dialogue between two
Irishmen on the high cost of living.
AS days went by Alice's nerves
got as jurnpy as the phonograph
needle when it reached the end of
the thread on the record She
placed. cotton in her ears but even
this did not keep out the screech
and whine Of the phonograph. He-
distaste for canned music soon
spread to the simon pure. She went
to the Scent movies because they
couldn't afford an orchestra.
She even walked home from the
store. The street car wheels gritted
on the tracks just like the opening
bars Of Back Home in Tennessee"
on the record. Alice tried to get
transferred in the store. but there
was no other position vacant.
you'll get used to it," soothed the
superintendent "All the girls were
that way at first"
One Saturday night Alice sat on
the front step Of her boarding house
with her fingers over her ears. In-
side in the living room the star
boarder was pounding the worries
on the 1860 model piano.
IT is bad, isn't it," said a laugh.
ing voice beside her. 1t was Jen-
kins. the new boarder, who had only
joined the groaning board few
days before.
Don't you like music:?" asked
Alice.
Cant say I d." said Jenkins.
mot that kind. anyhow. Apparently
you don't care much for music your
self"
II hate it." cried Alice. 81 don't
want to hear any more the rest OF
my life"
Listen" said Jenkins. 81 know a
good movie couple of blocks away
where they haven't any of them
noisy orchestras. Will you go with
me?
Alice was willing. 1t was lone
some> sitting on the steps of Sat-
urday night with fingers over her
ears.
!. The movies house was preten-
tious looking building and pictures
by some of the eminent stars of the
deaf-mute school of drama were an
nounced for that evening.
'It looks INVITING" remarked
Alice.
Its a good place" said jenkins.
II come here all the time since they
cut out the orchestra and put in"
WHAT" asked Alice, halting
suddenly.
"A big phonograph," continued
Jenkins. II certainly makes great
music"
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