Evening public ledger. [volume] (Philadelphia [Pa.]) 1914-1942, 1920-10-13
Why Haven't We Higher ldeals2

Dear Cynthia-1t Is with keen interest
that | endeavor to express my opinion
IN answer to the letter signed IS. .. s..
which asks. why haven't men higher
dealS?"
This same question has come up quite
frequently, recently. The young men
write, laying all the blame to the young
women OF the day (and. my. how they
do criticize. and vice versa) And. no
doubt. each believes his way Of thinking
to be absolutely irreproachable. It would
seem to me that the trouble lies there.
For one thing, we are all too strongly
How often do we fall short OF doing what
We are convinced would be the right
thing, simply because Of the question,
thought and spoken, What will people
say?" As an example: Do not men or
women often go through with marriage
simply because they fear what people
will say II they should happen TO change
their minds after some deeper thinking
Doubtless. some such marriages have
proved happy unions but more often
not Which Is worse, a broken engage
ment or divorce. or, perhaps. n life Of
continued unhappiness?
Then we draw uD qualifications for
him or her" as the case may be and
expect to find some human soul to I'LL
them. Usually 1t cant be done. It's all
very well to have Ideals, but let US make
them reasonable. This can be done
without any lowering Of standards. I
am inclined to think, s. @. S., that you
are just a bit too eXactlng. II you
would be satisfied with a man who had
some OF the qualities you specify. you
would not have much difficulty in l0cat.
ing one, or several, but for one man to
have all, that can hardly ever be. You
have set your mind on wat you want,
and because you cant have q man jus:
made to order you're horribly disappoint-
ed and pick on 'en all" That istIt nice,
Sllli,ugp n
die appear and had all the requirements.
yet others all found cause TO ridicule
| him. what would you do? He might be
Al in every respect and make an ideal
| he expected to know Ihato, wodld you
| be willing TO tolerate public opin on II
! he had various impcdimOnts Of speech
Much time has been spent denounCine
| girls who use paint and powder in the
| extreme, but who seem to get there
when 1t comes to having beau%. Honest
now. girls, isn't there just a tnge OF
jealousy hidden behind those unkind re.
| marks? | am far from h"i~r "|lvo,
cate OF the use of rouge and powder ir
| even mild form, yuS 10: i ,n ..u uS
| eny means. I'll admit that | have met
girls on the street who. because Of their
awful makeup, have filled me with re-
pugnancc. but, YOU must agree theil
many wholesome.looking girls and wom
must be Il little slower in Judging : al
| girls do not have the good influence the
| majority of .s may experience. | think
| It's time all of US stopped knocking anc
put out a hand to lift up.
| And then. I'm afraid we sometime!
think we're In love, when we're only ir
| love with love. And there Is a big diff
| ference. There are going to be fewer dis
| appointments in love when We learn tc
love and respect the character rather
than the person. I'm a normal girl. ir
my early twenties, and not immune from
being attracted by good looks, fine man
ners and clothes. but just the same, Tn
aiming to find the man whose character
| can love and whom I can respect
and there won't be any road too lont
or any task too hard for me TO over
come.
The girls all "dote' on being seen with
a young man whose appearance Is al
ways good The same holds true of tn,
young men. Each wants to have IN,
best looking best dressed lady in th
crowd, but we can't hate them for that,
don't.
Instead OF looking for the othe,
person to be most desirable, why no
begin now to make ourselves the mos
desirable, likable young man or womal
to be found? Do we ever stop to thini
Of thatY Perhaps II we aim 10 attrac
rather than be attracted we will attrac
the very ones who will satisfy ou
cravings
All ask in the way OF a husband is ,
nee young man, not too good -Iookina
who will respect me and love me in !:
sincere, sensible way. who will be goot
and kind and at least make an homes
| effort to give me a comfortable home a n,
happiness. And I am willing to do m,
full share in return. HAPPY.
You have struck the keynote OF han
piness, my dear, In your last two para
graphs. Not TO be always looking 10
the qualities we find most desirable Il
others but setting ourselves 10 the tasi
Of acquiring them ourselves. And, too
you are right about ideals. II is al
ways right to have them, but on tn
other hand. we have no right TO deman,
that others live up TO the Ideals we max
for them, 1t Is not fair TO demand, ever
in our minds, that others live up to IDEAL
we cannot attain ourselves. Cynthi,
hopes, Happy" that you will fnd tn
right man some day and be happy with
him, 1t'' ~