The evening world., 1920-06-11
'SteWed Pair
Lift Gloom
In Chicago
Beer? II Amt Fit to Drink "
One Agrees When Senator
Capper Denounces Bever-
age -"Happiness L dy"
Also Helps Enliven Dull
Meeting.
By Martin Green.
Special Staff Correspondent Of The
Evening World.

vention, has been lifted by two hap
penings. one OF them being the plat
form and the other the sessions Of
the Sub-Committee of the Resolu-
lions Committee. Comedy was fur
nished to the latter by the submits
sion Of all sorts of planks by all sorts
OF people with all sorts Of hobbies,
which subsequently we're thrown onto
the scrapheap.
''The Happiness Lady and two fat
genial stews enhvened one session.
The stews were large, middle-aged
men One wore a delegates badge
and he radiated good nature and
kindly feeling. The other was OF
solemn visage and demeanor but he
was feeling good. and periodically
he winked his right eye. Envious
chances followed Them as they
breathed their way through a COM
pact and startled thrOng in the COM
mittee room and found the only two
vacant seats in the place. Tho chairs
were in the front row and imme-
diately behind them was seated SEN
ator Arthur Capper Of Kansas, who
isn't quite satisfied with the Ten
Commandments because Their Is moth
ing about Prohibition in them.
OPPOSED TO THE BEER OF
THESE TIMES.
As the stews eased themselves Into
their chairs Frank p. Walsh of Kan
sas City proceeded to address the
committee on the subject Of Irish
Freedom. The solemn stew wept
softly through Mr.. Walshs impas-
stoned address. The other punctu-
ated the remarks of the orator with
loud "Amens." And then Senator
Capper stepped to the front and ad-
dressed the committee.
1--WE demand" said Senator Cap
per, ION the part OF this convention
hatfooted declaration in support Of
Prohibition and the Volstead act"
The stews sat up as though in
spired by an electric shook The
solemn stew shook his head and
registered sadness and woe. The
other stew murmured: ut amt done,
tell yuh: 1t amt done"
1--WE don't want any of this light
wine and beer foolishness," declared
Senator Capper.
1.-THE mans right" said the first
stew to his companion. 1.-The mans
right, 1 tell yuh. Tho beer aln't At TO
drink"
Senator Capper said some more
things about the beneficial effects of
prohibition. He said the whole world
will soon be dry, and then he sat
down. The first stew bent toward
the press table and the reporters
gratefully smiled an odor OF at least
100 proof as he inquired:
Say. who Is that guy7"
He was informed that the guy was
Senator Capper OF Kansas.
Cant understand how they get that
way" commented the first stew
Cant understand it a-tall."
Benjamin Marsh a fiery gentleman
who said he represented $4,000 farm.
ers, proceeded to spill Soclalistic doc
trines, and some OF the committed
members objected to his statements
A woman jumped up and criedi
Don't you dare to try to choke of
that man. Everybody with common
sense knows that Wall Street run
the United States and England run
Wall Street"
Mr.. March insisted on his right I
} talk as he pleased.
Senator Ball OF Delaware, Chalrma,
of the Committee, said that Mr.. Marc
had exceeded his time allotment.
r Jaw" said the first stew in a bore
y tone, "give him five minutes NOR
Q and then throw him out on his ear!
A man named Frank HotchlSiss e
up 10 advocate a plank awardin
money damages to the soldiers VIII
. fought and froze in Siberia. Bot
stews wept as Mr. Hotchkiss do
L scrtbed tho hardships suffered
a Siberia by our soldiers. At the cor
{ clusion OF Mr. Hotchkiss's remark
= the stews shook him by the hand.
: you said somethin, pardner." sal
q the first stew, tearfully. Didn't
! say somethin,' Lew?"
HE said a earful," replied Il
solemn stew who was this identifit
as Lew.
n 1.-THE HAPPINESS LADY" MAKE