The Washington herald., 1920-06-13
Don't Discourage Suitors,
Doctors Aduice to Parents
In Scoring Child Dictators

homes and all too loving parents
spelling the courtship Of .dsush-
ter or SON. are both roundly scored
by DR.. c. Macfie Campbell. Of Johns
Hopkins Hospital. Baltimore.
The uneasiness some parents snow
at the approach OF suitors for their
child. DR.. Campbell warns. Is often
the continuation of q fostering care
that from the beginning has ham
nered the youngsters development
Lives Again In Child.
. The parent with expansive ego
tries to extend his life past the
generation to which he Is entitled
writes Dr. Campbell in the current
issue of Mental Hygiene. He lives
again In the person OF his cniio.
Not content to watch and foster the !
new life, he insists II shall be the
vehicle of his own prejudices.
The influence of the parents Is
profound. The early devotion OF
the child to the parent may deter
mine the attitude of the adult 10
one of the main problems OF adult
iffe-the problem of mating.
Thus one father, jealousy ward
ing off all suitors from his daugh-
ter, merely continued an influence
which had shown itself much ear
lier, when he had mothered the
child and supervised every detail OF
her life, to the detriment Of her
personality.
Another father of similar type
frankly admitted II would break his
heart when his daughter married.
q. Under this influence the adult
may refuse to marry. or the mar
riage may sadly miscarry owing TO
lack of emancipation from the early
bonds of attachment to the parent.
@Know the Real Chfld."
Stressing the early everyday in
nuences, DR.. Campbell denounced
parents who weave faulty threads
into the pattern of their child's life.
"a solicitous father found that
his 5-year-old daughter had been
Initiated into love matters by
boy" continued the doctor. He
punished her in rather drastfc
way. When the patient had a men
tal breakdown in the thirties. she
talked freely of this incident; II
seemed all through girlhood to sep
arate her from others-It was a
drag on my mind
The child, naively exposing IT.
self, talking Of tabooed SUBJECTS
finds the placid atmosphere unex-
pectedly electric. The gods express
displeasure; lucky for the child II
there are no thunderbolts.
What is the result on the child:
Mystery and vague unrest are at
once attached to certain natural in
terests, DR.. Campbell fears. And
this he considers neither desirable
nor necessary.
know the real child. not merely
the child of the poets world" urges
DR.. Campbell.
Fight Tantrums, He Says.
The child. capricious in diet. in
sistent on his own sleep conditions,
obstinate in refusal of regular hab-
its, gaining his own ends by the
display of unpleasant tantrums. will
have difficulty in adult life In
adapting himself to the demands OF
a real world, which is not prone to I
bow before tantrums.
AT an age when these problems
should have been turned over to
habit, we find him tinkering with
his bowels. studying his diet, groan-
ing over his unsatisfactory sleep"
DR.. Campbell blames the weak,
"watchful waiting" of parents In
unhorsing small "dictators" who re-
fused proper sleep or food.
"A girl OF 81 he said, refused to
go to sleep unless her mother was
with her. If the mother sat down !
TO read the paper. the child would
sit up in bed and keep awake to |
make sure the mother did not go
out
"As. the mother could neither go
out, read, nor continue her work |
under the decree of this dictator, |
she solved the problem by going to
= hA
child.
Boy Dominates Mother.
A boy of was still sleeping
with his mother because he was
afraid to sleep elsewhere. Any
sickness of his mother caused him
great solicitude; he was afraid she
would die, and said that in that case
he would die the same minute.
He dominated his mother; at his
bath he would create an uproar IL
she did not arrange his clothes in
Just the order in which they were
40 be put on. One may add that for
breakfast his milk had to be flavor
ed with coffee; that he had tan
trums when crossed.
The mother would not accept the
suggestions made for a better
regime; she said IL made the boy
sick IL she insisted upon his doing |
something he did not want to do.
"A boy of would refuse to eat
il he did not get what he wanted;
he insisted on tea and coffee. This
was merely a continuation OF the
conditions OF his infancy; he had
been nursedHevery time he cried, |
he had been breast fed until years |
of age"
Children frequently have the |
knack OF vomiting when urged to |
accept the right food or when pun
i.hed. DR.. Campbell explained.
This is rather disconcerting to |
the parent" he added. who is liable
to surrender"
An Imaginative Girl
He told of an l1-year-old girl |
whose troubles were not real, but |
borrowed for the drama" of her |
life. and stimulated by her parents
solicitude.
z This girl had attacks of vomiting
and said: Sometimes when I am
helping mother 1 get real dizzy and
have to leave my work and fall +
down Somewhere"
- She delighted In ina agining all !
kinds OF dramatic scenes-that q
fbum" had snatched her purse, she |
was screaming, there was a scuffle. |
She loved to play at being an
actress: she would Jump on the
table in her nightgown, sing and !
Instead of indulging In foolish
sentiment, parents must educate
themselves while they train their