davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1920-08-22
SOCIETY WILL SEEK
ORIGIN OF LAUGHTER
British Bliss Association Will
Debate Whether Adam Was
First Man TO GuffaW.

LONDON, Aug. 22.-Was, Adam the
irst man 20 laugh?
. And did Eve giggle?
Does he who laughs last laugh besti
These questions will be debated at
the annual meeting at Cardiff this
week OF the Bliss Association. the
leading scientific body in England.
The whole theory OF iaughter-how
the first man came TO girn. then smile
then guffaw. and finally 10 burst into
resounding peals OF delight--will be
discussed by Britain's most learned
men, who also viii delye into the
psychological causes OF these visible
eruptions.
Aside from this novel question. the
famous scientific jsmboree will r.
limited TO a discussion OF problems
OF a strictly practical and utilitarian
character, such as wireless, aviation,
and intensive soil culture.
But there will be "A scientific break
fast" Prohibitionists have been in
vited to this event. at which, there
will be a technical demonstration OF
the evils of alcohol.
The Washington times., 1920-08-22
White
Low Shoes
$l.05

THINK of it, ladies'! Charming
White Low Shoes faultlessly
l. fashioned-at only $1.95 pair.
You could buy several pairs at that price
and in some instances still save some
thing on the original price of single
pair!
There are White Canvas, Reignskin
and some Nubuck "Theo" Ties, Tongue
Pumps and Sports Oxfords. Several of
these styles are in complete range of
all sizes. The others are in broken
sizes.
The Washington times., 1920-08-22
Last Week of the Sales

INCLUDED in the same sale are
"short lnes' of Black, Patent and
other styles of Pumps and Ok
fords-these in badly broken sizes,
mostly up to ~ and 5 only-with
some longer sizes in narrow widths.
In the Bargain Section of our 9TH,
Street Store and some of them will be
found at our other stores. The most
wonderful bargain of the final week Of
the greatest series of Summer shoe sales
Washington has ever known!
The Washington times., 1920-08-22
PRINCE CAROL DUE IN N. Y.

NEW YORK. Aug. 22.-Carol. crown
prince of Rumania, en- route home
from a visit in the Far East and
tour of American educational and in
dustrial centers, will be the guest OF
New York tomorrow
Prince Carol and his retinue have
been travelling incognito. No public
demonstration is planned. The party
will sail from New York next Satur-
day,
The Washington times., 1920-08-22
TROOPS RUSHED TO END
REVOLT IN CHIHUAHUA

MEXICO CITY. Aug. 22.-Onicial
announcement was made today that
the government was dispatching
troops to suppress an uprising at Chi
huahua under the leadership OF two
former followers OF Francisco villa
who refused II join In the surrender
Of the former bandit leader.
The Washington times., 1920-08-22
N. Y. ENTERTAINS GOBS.

NEW YORK, Aug. 22.-Manhattsn
today was host to 5000 American sail.
ors. members of the crews of the At
lantic fleet at anchor in the Hudson
river.
The other 5000 will ocme ashore to-
morrow when the first half return
from shore leave.
The Washington times., 1920-08-22
OBSERVE JULY 4.

Special observance of independence
Day was given by the people of
Caracas, Venezuela. in honor of the
United States and the American col
ony there, mail dispatches from the
legation there to the State DEPART
ment received today declare
The Washington times., 1920-08-22
Ex-PRESIDENT SEEKS JOB.

NEW YORK. Aug. 22.-Jose Cutler.
exiied president OF Bolivia
was here at the home of his cousin
today. seeking a job. He was ousted
from office in the recent revolution In
Bolivia He had not determined what
employment he wants, but declared he
was a competent explorer and banker
The Washington times., 1920-08-22
Rapidly Gro.uing Jap
Population in HaUaii
PeriLs u. s. Control
BY CHARLES A. DAILY.

HONOLULU, Aug 22.-The ever-ncreSsing number of
japanese in Hawaii and particularly in the Island of Oahu
of which Honolulu is the metropolis is causing and
more
The Washington times., 1920-08-22
me SAFE or
Mems
Oxfords
$3.95
The Sale of

IS splendid styles of Mems
Txn and Black Oxfords are in
this final clearaway-at a
price that represents quite a
bit less than half their aver
age value.
There are plenty of all
sizes Of these shoes at all our
four stores and the saving is
doubly important by reason
of the fact that many men
will wear Oxfords most all
winter. But don't lose any
time getting here, as the
shoes are moving out fast at
this figure.
The Washington times., 1920-08-22
Sir Tom Got Start As
Glasgow Pig Merchant;
Father a Coal Dealer

NoRTHBRIDGE. Mass. Aug "a
He knew Sir Thomas Upton when
he was plain Tom" a Glasgow
pig merchant.
He" is James crichton. former
selectman here. and he takes great
pride In his early association with
the distinguished tea importer and
yEchtsman.
Mr.. Crichton was unable TO at
tend the recent races, but was not
much put out about IL, for he
knows little OF yachting. But he
would have enjoyed meeting his old
friend.
II knew the father OF Sir
Thomas" said crichton. He came.
to Glasgow from Ireland and sold
coal in Jameson road.
Sir Thomas got his start in the
pork business. He organized a
chain OF stores in Glasgow. and
his advertisement was a pair OF
pigs carted about the city and
known as Lipton's Orphans"
The Washington times., 1920-08-22

Hamburg, August Is. stated that
while the Bolshevik advance against
Poland Is great temptation to Ger
many to try TO get back her eastern
frontiers OF 1914. Germany must re.
sist the lure OF the Soviet, and that
Germany could not come TO any agree
ment with Moscow without absolute
ly reliable guarantees. which, the
paper added. the Soviet is not in a
position TO give at present"
The Washington times., 1920-08-22
RUSS REDS OPPOSED
BY GERMAN PAPERS.
U. S. State Department OBJ
tains Articles Of Warning Pub
Ilshed by Teuton Press.

The State Department made public
yesterday extracts from a number Of
German newspapers designed to show
that German sentiment Is holding
aloof from the Russian Soyiets rather
than seeking an alliance or even c.
operation with them. SO important
did the department consider these
the American commissioner in Berlin
by cable. In its statement, the de-
Iartment said:
."Lokal Anzieger, Berlin, August Is.
published a warning against senti.
mental ou'bursts n Germany a.
result of the successes which the Sci
shcvik troops had In their campa gn
against Poland. The Lokal Anzieger
pointed OUT that there is no proof
tina. Soviet Russia has any interest
IN help!ng Germany; that Bolshevism
il and must be aggressive, and tcat
Germanys attitude must be of Coolest
reserve toward Soviet Russia.
CALLS REDS INSANE.
"Vorwaerts. Berlin, August II. has
published a special article calling at
tention to what II calls the Insanity
Of the national Bolshevik; that these
fanatics overrate the military
strength of Soviet Russia; that CO.
operation with Soviet Russia would
never free Germany from the Ver-
sailles treaty, but would seal her fate
forever and that common sense dic-
tates an attitude OF strict neutrality
on the part OF Germany in the hope
CT ultimate revision of the Versailles
treaty by agreement with the allies
"Kreus Zeitung, Berlin, August IT.
said that an enthusiastic reception In
Germany of reports of Russian vic
tories IL against all political reason;
that Germany is between two fires,
both of which threaten to consunI.
her. and that Germany must try to
keep out OF the confagration.
COOPERATION IMPOSSIBLE.
"Taegliche Runschau, Berlin, Au
gust 10, published an editorial point
ing out what is stated to be the abso-
lutte impossibility of Germany's CO.
operation with Soviet Russia
THE Hamburger korrespondent,
The Washington times., 1920-08-22

from u Hebrews at
the d
ride tn city On
of home jua fore u ndm o
Phoenix tribune., 1920-03-27
IcoNocLAsM

so you are just back from Eng
land?"
Yes, and terribly disappointed"
What happened?"
i have always thought England a
romantic country and none of it's
sports more picturesque than fox-hunt-
ing"
'WeIl?"
Il saw an English squire following
his pack in a flivver."
Phoenix tribune., 1920-03-27
PRINTERS FUN.

There never was any variety in
this bill of fare" growled the pessi-
mistic patron
"You forget the Typographical err
rors, sir" replied the facetious waiter.
"What?"
1--WE have new lot every day, sir,
and, upon my word, some of them are
most amusing"
Phoenix tribune., 1920-03-27
AND 1T DID

A youthful aspirant for journalistic
distinction who was asked to write
an article on superstition and imbe-
cility began his essay thus:
THAT imbecility is not on the wane,
perusal of the following lines will am
ply demonstrate"
Phoenix tribune., 1920-03-27
IN A DOUBLE SENSE

81 thought knew lot about man
aging my salary"
"Well, what of it%'
But since l married must say
have to hand 1t to my wife"
Phoenix tribune., 1920-03-27
A PERFECT CHESTERFIELD

81 must say this condemned muir
Iderer was polite to the last"
'Well?"
When he was Eeing strapped into
the electric chair he apologized to the
doctors, newspaper men and prison
officials present for occupying the
only chair in the room"
Phoenix tribune., 1920-03-27
VIcARIoUs FAME

''Did Jabs ever do anything to make
his name known more than another
man's?'
why certainly His pet Maltese
took prize in a catshow."
Phoenix tribune., 1920-03-27

How long did l sentence you for?''
"One year. But want to get mar
ried."
"You wish me to substitute for a
sentence of one year sentence for
life? That would be unconstitutional. F"
Phoenix tribune., 1920-03-27

for the kindness shown during my re-
cent illness and l also wish to thank
you for the many beautiful flowers
brought me. Especially do l wish to
thank Dr. w. C. Hackett, my physi-
clan, for his skilled and faithful ser
vice.
MRS. DELLA KING.
S. !. A. Club Meetings
Ladies of the Self-Improvement Art
club met Monday afternoon with Mrs.
Robert Ross at the residence of Mrs.
Paul Green, 5019 East Jefferson street.
An interesting meeting was held and
three welcome visitors were present.
The ladies are making preparations
for their annual bazaar which will be
held in April The next meeting Of
the club will be with Mrs. Frank Tur-
ner at the residence of Mrs. Geo. w.
Caldwell, 233 East Jefferson.
To Louisiana
Mrs. c. N. Copeland of 1912 East
Jefferson street will leave soon for
Louisiana to visit her mother. She
expects to remain for an indefinite
stay.
Receive Dividend Checks
Several investors in oil stocks re-
ceived dividend checks this week from
the Invader Oil company. The boys
truly are happy.
Phoenix tribune., 1920-03-27
A. M. E. CHURCH
BEST WAY

"How about the quarrel between
Bill and his wife about her staying
home from the club to mend his
clothes?"
"Oh, that's been patched up
Phoenix tribune., 1920-03-27
BAD, ANYWAY

Blondine-Doesn't Getry Giddigad
make up something awful?
Brunette-Yes. l don't know wheth-
er it is her eyesight that is bad or
her judgment.
Phoenix tribune., 1920-03-27
A BRIGHT IDEA

"rhat photographer has bright
idea"
What is it?"
ITO print his pictures on phono-
graph record of the voice"
Whats the idea?"
ITO be able to say that his por-
traits are speaking likenesses."
Phoenix tribune., 1920-03-27
. PHOENIX CHURCHES

I: = = !. :. :: :. :. = :. 4: :. !. !. !. ).
FIRST A. M. E. ZION CHURCH
Corner 7th Ave. and Grant
W. ]. CONQUEST, Pastor.
Sunday school at 9:45 a. m, preach
ing at II a. M, and 8 p. M Christian
Endeavor at z p. m. Come and wor-
ship with us, we will do you good.
SECOND BAPTIST CHURCH
Corner 5th & Jefferson
c. A. Gilmore, Pastor
Sunday school at $50 a. m. Preach.
ing at II a. M and p. m. B. VI u.
meeting at p. m. Everybody welcome
to these services.
C.. M. E. CHURCH
Corner 7th & jefferson
Rev. NJ. Thompson, pastor.
Sunday school at 10 a. m. Preaching
at II a. m. and p. m. Epworth League
at p. m. A cordial welcome awaits
you here.
A. M. E. CHURCH
Corner End & Jefferson
T. ]. Sanford, Pastor
Sunday school at 10 a. M; preaching
at II a. IN. and 8 p. m. Y. P. S. c. E.
meeting at 6 p. m. We invite you to
come and worship with US. Strangers
made welcome.
Phoenix tribune., 1920-03-27
WORLD SEEMS TO IMPROVE

Its not such bad world after all"
What's happened? Has somebody
paid a bill you thought you'd never
collect?"
Phoenix tribune., 1920-03-27
PARADOxIcAL RELIEF

$50 the stranded acrobat got a good
job in the circus?"
Yes; he got on his feet by standing
on his head"
Phoenix tribune., 1920-03-27
NATURAL PROPENSITY

How was it you managed to teach
your parrot such long learned words ?"
why, it was quite natural for a
parrot to take to polly-syllables."
Phoenix tribune., 1920-03-27
CLOSE OBSERVATION

Il saw a woman eat with a knife
at our party" said r. Cumrox.
Phoenix tribune., 1920-03-27
INFANTS SHOES

Mary James and ankle straps
of Poplin, kid and Patent leather,
in white, black and combinations,
turn soles, sizes 0 to 5, at $1.65 to
s2.75, particular attention is called
to Poplin Mary Jane with Spring
heels at $1.25; a white kid button
shoe and Patent kid Mary Jane
with Spring heels, at.-......--.S1 az
Phoenix tribune., 1920-03-27


Don't let's be precipitate," ex-
claimed his WIFE,
"How do you mean, 'precipitate?' p .
about copying her. If it was Mrs.
Bluggins, of course, it's all wrong. But
|if it was Mrs. Toppington Plyme, eat
ing with ones knife has undoubtedly
come into fashion"
5LANKNEss
rs that poetry what you call blank
verse?"
Il think So" answered Miss Cay
enne. Anyway, it reads as if the
mind Of the man who wrote it was a
blank"
Phoenix tribune., 1920-03-27
A MERcfFuL JUDGE

fudge, I wish you'd put me on pro-
baton"
Phoenix tribune., 1920-03-27

!. :. !. :: :. :. :. !: :. !. !. !. !. !. !. :.
The Washington herald., 1920-02-12
ESSAY CONTEST
TO AID PREPAREDNESS

Fifteen million school children
throughout the country are expected
tp take part In the essay contest being
conducted by The Come Back"
Prizes are being offered for the best
csmpositions on the subject. what
are the advantages OF an enlistment
in the United ststss army"
: Representative Julius Kahn. chair
man OF the House Committee on
Naval Affairs, yesterday wrote the
contest editor Of -The Come Back"
Il Am sure the fnfereet that will be
aroused by this contest among the
school children win be Of great value
to our military. establishment.
3 while we are a peace-loving ma
ton. We realize that no nation is the
sole arbiter OF its own destinies. We
may be drawn into war despite our
ceslre to avoid II. For that reason a
study OF military preparedness by the
schools of our country through such a
contest ought TO be ENCOURAGED in
every way possible"
Senator H. L Myers endorsed the
contest as follows:
II recommend your plan to The
school children Of the country. The
three national winners will have con-
ferred upon them a great honor and
all who compete will be entitled TO
honor and respect even though not
winners. wish the plan success"
The Washington herald., 1920-02-12
Marriage Licenses.

winthrop Rutherford. s. Anamuchy, n.
e. ana LiIcy Page Mercer. 2s. Of this city
The Rev. William A. Cowsrdin.
Edgar Vaughan Mason. -, and Katherine
;. Fowler ., both Of this city. The Rev.
Colby Wood Bell. q. and Marie y. ssun,
ders. "a. both Of this city. The Rev. George
Y. Dudley. ;.
James N. Watson. q. and Gertrude d.
Golway. 10. both Of this city. The Rev. J..
Franklin Bryan.
Peter J. Griffin. 81. and Catherine r. Voc,
Riordan.
william LEI. ssntmsn. "a. and Hortense
Z Williams. Is, both Of this city. The
Rev. James II. W. Blake. .
william y. Peek. Is. and Anna Zebbey,
- both of this city. The Rev. J. Phelps
Albert =. Kenney. IS. and Mrs. Katherine
A. johnson. ~. both Of New York. y. \.
The REV. T. Y. Davis
Roy Edward Hanna. 30. ard Florence Il.
SAWYER. 80, both of this city. The Rev. L..
q. Il. Pierce.
Charles GstcheII, 80. and Fannie M. xii.
bourne. -. both Of New York. y. Y. The
Rev. LeGrand Powers.
Harry r. Rock. -. Brooklyn. n. Y. and
Harriet Bell CornweIl, q. The Rev. Will
lam J. Neeks.
Harry y. weatherhoIt1. %. Newmarket.
o.
Va. The Rev. s. r. Nicholas.
Jurgen J. Mannings. u and Florence NJ.
Conway, -. both Of this city. The Rev.
Edward l.. Buckey.
Lieut.. Thomas A. Williams. 30. Of Mid
dlstown. Va. and Marie A. Pittman. Of
charlestUwu, W. Va. The Rev. Robert
Talbot.
Abraham Cohan, %, and Rosa SchinfeId,
-, both Of Richmond. Va. The Rev. How
ard y. Downs.
William II. Sears. -, and Agnes W. Hen
nessey. d both Of this city. The Rev.
N. J. RIOrdan.
William 4. NesIe, Al, OF Issue, Nd, and
Florence L. Green. 81. OF Tolucs. Va. The
Rev. Iohn II. Eckenrode.
Arthur B. Foster. 90. and Mary W. Full
ford 81. both Of this city. The Rev. c. {.
Mclean.
Earl W. Thomas. is. and Edna I. Prsther.
l6. both Of this city. The Rev. John
Richa rds.
Spencer Lake. -. Of Chester. Pa. and
re9rI Gray, %, Of this city. The Rev. George
II Harris.
The Washington herald., 1920-02-12
'SHAFROTH MAY
GET LANE POST
Ex-senator from Colorado
At White House Three
Times in Two Days.

John F. Shafroth. former Senator
from Colorado. mentioned among the
possible successors 10 Franklin k
Lane as Secretary of the Interior. con-
ferred yesterday afternoon with Secre-
tary Tumulty.
This Is the third visit which Shafroth
has paid to the White House in the
last two days. He denies he has been
approached on the subject of accept
ing the Cabinet position.
Robert Underwood johnson. of New
York. Is to be appointed Ambassador
to Italy by President Wilson. it was
announced at the White House yester-
day. Johnson's nomination will go to
the Senate within a few days. He will
succeed Thomas Nelson Page. who re-
signed five months ago. Since his
resignation the post has been vacant.
Johnson Is in full accord with the
Presidents policy toward Italy. Page
The Washington herald., 1920-02-12
HIGH CARFARES|
PAY LIGHT BILL u
President Ham Of W. R. and
E. Attacks Utilities Rate
Ruling.

The only alternative to increased
street car fares Is for the courts to
allow price OF 10 cents per, kilowatt
hour for electricity. and for Congress
to permit the pooling of the earnings
of the Washington Railway and Elec-
trio COMPANY and the Potomac Elec-
trio Power Company. according to the
Testimony OF william +. Ham. presi-
dent Of the Washington Railway and
Electric Company, before the House
District Committee yesterday.
Mr.. Ham declared that 1t was un-
businesslike and Illogical for the Pub
lie Utilities Commission to rule that
the earnings Of the two companies
cannot be pooled, although all the
stock is held by the Washington Rail-
way and Electric Company. He COM
planned at the ruling of the commits
sion that the price of electricity must
be reduced from 10 cents per kilowatt
hour to s cents.
Would Keep Rate Up.
The consumers are now paying at
the rate of 10 cents, but the additional
g cents over the rate allowed Is to be
refunded consumers IL the courts hold
the Scent rate legal. This fund now
amounts to S1.01t000. and Mr.. Ham
pointed out that IL almost balances the
present shortage of the Washington
Railway and Electric Company. Nj.
liam denied that he wished to put
an unfair burden upon the users Of
electricity. but said they should carry
their fair share of the traction
troubles.
lie asserted that II the Potomac
Electric and Power Company operated
separately 1t would he readily ad-
mitted that a 10 cent fare was neces-
sary.
why" he asked, take the bur
den that should be on the power con-
sumers and place it on the car rid
erS?''
In completing his statement on the
Merger bill, Mr.. Ham declared that
the public must realize that public
service corporations will not invest
their money except with the assur-
ance OF a fair return.
ID. &. Traction Expressive.
Pointing out that no city except
New York has such an expensive un-
derground construction for the street
railways. he said that luxury was
ordered by Congress. and that the
ear companies sent men abroad TO
find out how to install such a sys-
TEN.
Mr.. Ham asserted that all the
expense OF this installation was
born by the companies and none
by the government.
The revenue from the sale Of the
current. he said, had grown from
S974.0O0 in 1906 to $S.500.000 today.
The Public Utilities Commits
sioh." said Mr.. Ham. by it's policy
Of fixing rates and making what ii
calls a fair valuation has denied
the Washington Railway and Elec-
trio Company any advantages from
the ownership of the Potomac Elec-
tric Power Company, which it has
'built nm"
The Washington herald., 1920-02-12
Woman Dies Of Poison
Taken When Sentenced

Jennie H. Penn. colored. % years
of age. died at Emergency Hospital
yesterday from the efftcts of poison.
taken after she had been found
guilty in Criminal Division No. J..
January 30, on two charges of
and larceny and SEN
fenced to serve ten years in the
pCLitentisry.
After reaching the cells beneath
the touI Groom the woman took ;I9ra
her hair Il quPntity of bichlor!is
Cf m-rcIIy she had previously cna-
cealed there. and swallowed II. She
was rushed to Emergency Hospital.
Before her trial she is said to have
threatened to end her life IL the
court gave her a long sentence.
The Washington herald., 1920-02-12

and Wilson differed on the disposition
of Fiume. johnson is well versed IN
Itaiy's affairs, and holds the Italian
decoration Of Cavalier Of the Crown.
Acceptance OF the resignation OF
Henry p. Fletcher. Ambassador to
Mexico. by President Wilson, was
also announced at the White House.
The resignation was submitted sew
eral weeks ago. Fletcher came to
Washington soon after to await the
Presidents action on his rcsignation.
More than dozen diplomatic posts
remain to be filled.
The Senate yesterday confirmed tke
nominations OF Franklin w. NJ. Cutch-
con TO be director OF the War Finance
Corporation, and James j. Q'Hara to
be assistant solicitor. Department or
Commerce.
The nominations Of three pos,ras-
ters were confirmed. They were Clyde
s. Holt, Fairmont. w. Va: Julius A..
DeGruyter. Charleston, w. Va. and
Joseph ]. Rosborough. Oakland, Calf.
The Washington herald., 1920-02-12

Several thousand girls crowded the
streets and packed the windows yes
tcrday noon when the Community
Service held a big mass meeting at
the Navy Building 10 open its drive
for funds to continue the work in the
agencies.
Irene Montgomery. Of the Barnum
and Bailey circus. who is one OF the
acts of the American Legion show at
Liberty Hut. gave a thrilling aerial
ladder exhibition between two trees
and over the tops OF the street cars
while the Nevy Yard Band played.
The speakers were Secretary Dam
iels. Admiral Niblack, Admiral Mayo.
Admiral Taylor and Admiral Koontz.
The Washington herald., 1920-02-12
Trio in Army Uniform Bound Over.

Clad in army uniforms. Harry F.
Foster. Francis l.. Collins and Frank
Dorner. charged with attempted rob-
berry, were held for the grand jury in
5000 bonds each by Judge Mcmahon
In Police Court yesterday. 1t is al
legged they attempted to steal $50 from
Samuel L. Culver.