The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-02-16

Married men Of Akron. ohio. are charged by the local police with re- porting themselves robbed when they had been losers in little games of poker. Their wives have doubtless made a few appropriate remarks by this time.
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 The war bride out in Iowa who sui fered nervous prostration due to Amer ican extravaganza and the high cost of living is pathetic example of French thrift coming into contact with American wastefulness. x # #
 There IS quite contrast between Maeterlinck speeding west in the Presidents private car, the Mayflower, to look after some details of a $ioooOo movie contract and the old-fashioned roet starving to death in a garret. * % # An eastern clergyman who can't en- dure bare knees on the stage or in the movies has gotten his name into the newspapers again. The poor man is 20 years behind the times.
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 MT. Bryan apparently thinks the wet governors of New York and New Jersey are carrying spades around for the purpose of digging up John Barleycorn.
 1 In telling a Respondent bride that her husband who gives her his weekly pay envelope is a jewel" a court did not err on the side of truth. % # #
 It's spring in the millinery shops, according to reliable authorities who don't go in--or out--for spotting the early violet on the hillside. | # !. x 1 The Alabama citizen who doesn't vote for good roads today deserves to stick in the mud for the rest of his natural life
 |
 Frederick Wilhelm is taking boxing lessons, but not for the purpose of get ting into condition for trial before an allied court
 l By the way nave the "big four of the wrestling trust" decided who's going to be champion after Joe Stecher:
 ! At any rate. Robert Lansings law lpractice will enable him to keep the of away from his, door.
 < < *
 bat IS chiefly known to fame as l eoae of contention.
 long and prosperous career on the seas to the Birmingham Cityr'
 THE DINING CAR WAITER From the Chicago Tribune. Sir: The dining car waiter is not always to blame for not readily deciphering guests check, which is sometimes scrib- bled so badly as to resemble com municaton from Iii Hung Chang It is fact that glasses are much worn by the younger walters, who do not require them but strive to foster certain class by at- fecting them, while the old-timers, who could not make out a four-sheet circus l poster across the street, refrain from wearing the "cheaters," it being to them tacit admission of age have in mind an "old ace'' who had been on the road 1 since Lee surrendered. Though gray as rat, by shaving twice day and dye ing his hair, he was able to camouflage | his age. In the upper pocket of his ! walters jacket he carried powerful reading glass with which the checks were given the once-over There was an other old waiter who could not even read but he had little trouble in the days when the table dhote was served. After | the service was changed to la carte. with written checks. he still managed to Ret by, as he would request the guest to read over the check to him, in order, l so he explained, to verify the oruer' Tos- sessing a remarkable memory, he would repair to the pantry with as many as four orders, repeating them audibly to him self and seldom making mistake The funniest order I ever say was writ i ten by two old maid school teachers from St. Louis, as follows "One baked potato served for two and couple of coca colas The worst one was written "aE,er a fashion," by celebrated musician, who, in addition to miserable chi rography, was so thoroughly stewed that his check could only be decoded by an archaeo,ogist or a professor of Sanskirt. OLD TIMER, STRANGER THAN FICTION | erih