The Ocala evening star. [volume] (Ocala, Fla.) 1895-1943, 1920-03-30
MY PAJAMA BURGLAR
Lucy Gabel)


husband a belated oyster stew one
Saturday night; "Deck" being the
nickname of my better half the says
this, not u, and whose full name and
title is DeCourtat Venable. Some in
spired genius gave him this aforesaid |
nickname before he came into my line |
OF vision.
"Well, what now, Sweetie? Waf-
flies burning, sausage scorching or J
house afre?" So saying, my unexcit- |
able spouse sauntered into the pantry, |
halted in the kitchen doorway, and |
glanced at the gas stove with a malic-
ious grin upon his usually placid coun-
tenance; the same expression | had
seen there numberless times when,
fer instance. had left my waffles or
meat to take care of themselves while
l tried new piece of music. or put the
finishing touches to a water color
sketch, returning in great hurry to
find meat burned to a cinder, Waff1es
ditto, and "Deck" wading through
greasy fog in an heroic effort to save
his breakfast.
"No!" | spontaneously combusted.
"The gas has expired; no quarter for
the meter. milk just right to add the
oysters, and-oh, dear. dear, DEAR" |
here broke off to take look from the
| back porch for chance stay-up-late
| neighbor, and saw my back-fence-
akutting neighbor also had light in
her kitchen. "Glory be! Popsie, dear,
| jump over the back fence and say to
Mrs. Olney Quarter! Quarter! Oh,
lady! For my distracted wife to feed
to the anaconda of our kitchen, the
gas metern Let an appropriate noise
accompany your actions. as she might
mistake you for the popular burglar
who has so alarmed folks of late"
| He took me too seriously, as al
ways, and / thought for time that
he must have been suspended in mid
air by nail fastened in the seat of
his pants, and this surmise proved
correct, but. iron Cor steeD being
stronger than cloth. the cloth finally
succumbed to the combined efforts of
the nail to free itself of such noisy
encumbrance, and the powerful kick
ing and pulling of the man inside the
pants.
Finally, after much bantering on
the lady's part. and back-fire on his,
Deck returned with the quarter
which she had given him in exchange
for some small change After re-cook-
ing and serving the stew. l took me
off to bed, stopping en- route to secure
headache powder from the medicine
: closet, to be taken before arising next
morning. Every morning for the past
three weeks | had awakened with q
splitting headache, accompanied by q
tiredness which was unaccountable
Old Doctor merely said. wher
: consulted, "Cold. bad cold in the
/ head" True, have huskiness il
: my throat as if had been out in the
/ night air too thinly clad (Which
/ haven't), but cannot believe that his
diagnosis is correct.
Next morning / drag myself out OF
beg, swallow the headache powder ant
5 make haste to start my breakfast or
: the stove; then I return to the bed.
room to pull the covers from the re.
/ cumbent form of my husband, de-
: manding his presence at the break.
: fast table in fifteen minutes, sharp
Thus saying, hurriedly return to my
: tyrant of the flames and fumes.
At the expiration of the allotted fif
teen minutes l again return to the
. bedside of my husband, to find. to my
: disgust, an evenly breathing disciple
of Morpheus, covered head and ears
) and body neatly rolled, Indian-wise
| IN hn h1o,,lynf 70 Abar.
5 turbance. Upon my threatening. in {
4 loud voice, to let him sleep until moor
4 when he subsconciously realizes tha
:, he should even then be sup and do
t ing'O, he ventures one eye from con
{ cealment to discover just how angr!
: am, and to be prepared, if need be
J, to meet the verbal attack, sometime!
/ accompanied by a well aimed blow
: with a pillow. My head is throbbine
t at such a rate. however, that merel!
= throw his clothes at his head, make
n flying leap for the kitchen to rescu
: the last waffle. the one had INTENDED
n for Deck" to have it crisp and no
e for him to break his egg upon, thi
: being his favorite combination.
d l sadly return to the dining room. t.
e find "Deeck" in his seat at the table
t blinking sleepily at the sunlit win
i dow. Seeing me. he grumblingl,
/, mutters, "Where's the breakfast" !
r prodigious yawn). 81 don't see any
/. thig to eat but the dishes!" A brie
: silence, then. what time of day is il
= anyway"
d l uncover the "hominy," call his at
a tention to the covered dish of waffles
: (now rather moist), break his egg il
q cup, pour his coffee and point to tn
7. clock. | then ask him sarcasticall
g if shall eat it for him-the break
81 MT tho nlccl. Rnnoi..;r,c. caalsr