The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1920-08-20
EDITORIAL FILINGS At THIS,
THAT N T0THER

A Main street philosopher says if
nobody works more than eight hours
a day large part of the American
people will go to bed hungry. Huh,
they won't even have bed to go to-
Bob Porter says he hates like
thunder to see first-class printer
wasted on the Presidency when the
great need for good men in that
class is so apparent in the newspa-
per and job Offices of the country
Having finally developed safe
and sane Fourth of July and other
safe and sane things what is now
needed is a safe and sane Sunday
with fool-prOOf automobiles, and
automobiles that cannot be driven
by reckless drivers and children.
They are now using monographs
to teach parrots to talk. But no
Cne needs to use a photograph to
teach some Paris women to talk
especially at the movies, where they
spend delightful moments in regal
ing those in their vicinity with all
the latest gossip.
. Railroad workers complain that
their advance in wages is being
wiped out by profiteering landlords
who raise the rents almost to the
extent of the wage increase. What's
to be done? Give another increase
of 100000, 000, Or rescind the late
increase to get cheaper rents?
With August rapidly passing and
September fast approaching the
school children of Paris are begin
ming to lament the very short sum-
mer days and the coming of school
days To their minds the summer
seems but few days long and the
school term almost an infinity.
Twas ever thus, etc.
There's very nifty bunch
around Paris said a local clothes
cleaner Tuesday, when asked about
his business. He stated that he had
customers who were as regular as
the rising sun, who would not think
of wearing clothes until they had
been properly pressed. And, you
know" he SAID, Il am IN the bust
ness to smooth out the wrinkles"
Two Paris men in a local barber
shop the other day were discussing
politics and the acceptance speeches
of the candidates for the Presidency.
At the conclusion of long disser
tation, one of them, a well-known
Paris bachelor, wound UP by saying:
Speaking of acceptance speeches,
il they ever nominate a Woliian FOR
the Presidency, newspapers will
have TO publish her speech in serial
FORM"
When it comes to the matter Of
good appetite certain city othclal
of Paris is said to be greatly bless
ed. 1t is related that this official
attended the banquet given by the
Masonic fraternity of Paris, Tues
day night, and that, in addition to
other things good to eat, he ate six
teen hot rolls, and looked hungrily
around at the plates of his neigh
bors, as if tC say, You're wasting
time there Let a Teller that knows
how to eat have those rolls"
Another complaint from Grand
Opera House patrons: The conduct
of some occupants of the gallery is
at times such as to call forth the
condemnation and protests of others
in the house. The colored people
seem to think the most serious
scenes on the screen the best oppor-
turity for applause, though the hui |
mor isn't apparent to others. Miss |
Rea Nye, the palmist. had consider
able difficulty in getting hearing !
Tuesday night because of the noise |
in the gallery. A little more con-
sideration, please!
A country woman drove her horse |
and buggy to a nice position the |
other day in front of the Sweet Shop |
and left it there several hours.
Clyde Keller called Patrolman Hill,
and asked if the same restriction
that applied to parking automobiles
could be applied in this case. The
officer made out a time card and
placed it in the buggy. When tie
woman came up to get her buggy
she saw the card, and, accepting
the situation in it's humorous light,
made profuse apologies to Mr.. Kel-
Ter, and promised not to violate the
in roolIlatinnC aOain