davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-01-06
LUKE MLuKE SAYS

II makes a man laugh when he seas a weather forecaster caught out in the rain without an umbrella.
 As long as we are making laws to regulate everything why not enact a law prohibiting woman with four chins from trying to act kittsnishs
 A man doesn't mind a girl having little powder on her face. But he sure hates to be<seen on the street with a human marshmallow.
 All you need do to get a girl to marry you is to get both of her par ents knocking yoE
 Why is it that a mas who is too nervous to go near a loaded gun win hug right up to a loaded motor cycle?
 Any time you are thoughtful enous Il to do man favor without being asked he will spend an hour looking for the string or the hook.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-01-06
AND FIGURES DON'T LIE

From the Tampa Tribune
 As proof tha. the female of the species is more deadly than the male,, We cite cases where a woman and gun and a bullet put the man out of the running. while statistics show that it took 7soo bullets to kill man during the last war
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-01-06
PREPosrERoUs

"A bachelor who has fallen in love says he can't sleep for thinking abcu- his fair inamorata."
 And the bachelors age?'
 lie was 4s last October"
 "Forty-six years old and can't sleep for lover You have the wrong diag- nosisF'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-01-06
 DUST

 Doroshy Anderson in contempor,r Verse.
 What is dust? Ashes of love, charred letters, faded h.,;.
 trope, Rose petals fallen from dead hand Spiders. bats. deserted houses. cr,,rnb,;n
 citadels. And wheel ruts where vanished .-,,,.
 have passed
 Is that all? Oh rust is sun and laughter. Lovers picnicking by the roadside- And rasamuffins tumbling in the warn
 lane1. Fl V Dust is rAinbow rsbs caught in sves1 hot smelling hedges, And If fl dust that kssps my avas
 oains blinded by the stae0
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-01-06
Likes New Traffic Rules

T am glad to see the new traffic rules being observed in Birmin gham, 9 said Anderson Jaffe "and I think we have needed them for long time. Heretofore the automobile and other vehicles were forced to obey the rules and wait for the stop, and go signs, but the pedestrians kept going, re- gardless of the way the traffic was moving at that time. Under the new rules pedestrians are required to go by the rules the same as drivers and
 ir this way accidents will be avoided.
 Tt was most amusing to see the
 cops stop pedestrians and it re- minded me of the time when the city started enforcing the law prohibiting Jay walking and on corners where two officers were on the job, one reg ulating the traffic and one the pedes- trians. crowds gathered to watch them stop the people who insisted on cross- ing the streets when traffic was mov-
 ing in the opposite direction. In a day or two there will be no trouble and people will wait for the whistles of the traffic officers"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-01-06
REFLECTED GLORY

How would you like to see your wife making speech from the rear end of a train?' asked the old-fash- toned man.
 T wouldn't object replied the new type of citizen. T might wear a silk hat and be permitted to introduce her to the assembled multitude"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-01-06
What Has Become
 of Auditorium Plans?

|0 AST spring there was more or 9 less we'll defined movement started to build an auditorium in Bir- mingham. No institution is more needed. A great deal of talk was indulged in, and everybody conceded the need of an auditorium.
 Finally, the proposition was put up to the city commissioners and an election was held, at which the aues- tion of bond issue for the purpose of building an auditorium was put up to the voters. The proposition carried by large majority. That was in August.
 Five months nave passed and the
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-01-06
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
ARE YOU STEPPING?

ARE YOU STEPPING? Zippy, nippy weather
 ought to make one feel Full of vim and vigor.
 Eager to reveal Energies undreamed of
 Tn the summer time When a little loafing 4Es Did not seem crime. Does it stir you, brother. Does your blood run fast? Have you made a vow to Show some speed at last? Do you turn out early, Hustle all day long. Keen to win life's battles, Fighting with song?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-01-06
Few Bouquets Tossed At the Year 1919

| TIT IS the custom, particularly among O the older newspapers, to write reviews at the beginning of each new Iyear, summarizing what has been &C., complished in the preceding twelve months. Most attention is paid to constructive achievement. Editors are not such quarrelsome lot, after all, and they would rather praise than censure. Therefore, it is pleasure to recount exceptionally worthwhile achievements, to offer felicitations to this old world of ours for having given good account of itself.
 The year 1919 has been decidedly an off year. Some progress was made, to be sure, and the sum total of accomplishment was great, consid- lering the circumstances, but in many respects 1919 was about the most
 unsatisfactory year most of us TOW living can recall, scarcely redeemed by those thrilling transatlantic flights and prohibition victories. The world had not recovered it's balance after passing through the chaos of ~a.1 everywhere; there were suspicious and outbursts of primitive mea aness that some of our altruists hoped had been calcined away, in the mighty struggle for equal rights and liber- tics. There was widespread suffer- ing in Europe, while wrangling about the peace table went on, later trans Iferred to the United States Senate, where the treaty has not yet been rat flied The cost of living reached un- Iprecedented levels, thus adding to the distress of millions of people who thought the worst over when the ar lnistice was signed.
 There were strikes and threats of strikes, demoralizing industry and in creasing the problems of statesmen; radicals began to make life burden Ito all patriotic citizens of this coun- Itry and became more and more dan gerous to the public peace and safety.
 Europe is still looking to America, while making plans to shift for her. self if the world returns to it's cid status, with nothing learned and noth- ling gained in the late war. In the meantime, American railroads must be restored to private control and re- habilitated, Congress must settle a few of the many problems before it, commerce and industry must be sta bilized, an end must be put to the fred" menace, the treaty must be rat lified and the cost of living must be brought down. All of these things should have been accomplished or un- Idertaken in 1919.
 As years ago, 1919 was somewhat iof dud. It should have made a great noise but it didn't. We cannot afford Ito repeat such follies in 1920.
 * # <
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-01-06
GOOD RADIANCE

GOOD RADIANCE The reds" who leave the U. S. A.. To foreign countries bound. May curse and shake their fists, bui
 they
 Cant turn the transport round And come back to afflict the land Against which they have raised A violent and a bloody hand For which the Lord be nraisedr
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-01-06
A sKEPrIcAL ATTITUDE

The medium agreed to let you con- verse with the shade of Cleopatra for s5g'
 That was the fee agreed upon.T said the doubting Thomas.
 How was the seance?"
 Very unsatisfactor. I fear the mediums assistant is not a good fe- male impersonator."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-01-06
SWAMPED.

From the Nashville Banner.
 We haven heard so much of McAdoo's candidacy since it was so heartily in dorsed by the strikers lawyer. Glenn Plumb.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-01-06

ties equal if not superior, to any eniovad oy iis recent predecessors. Many aues tons of reconstruction will come befor. It. We are entering upon a new era m. may journey far At any rate a prea, many problems are in the making an, fo, some years to come legislation respectin. them will be m demand Hence. we shal see men of a legislative cast of min and disposition seeking commissiena fc, legislative work.
 4 punch of roisy reformers in sessior recently proposed the apor1tion of th, Senate as one Of tn means for burrv;r. the millennium. But their motion has nol hao ana VIII not have a second from m. praclcal or sincere quarter.
 THE DANGLING OF MAETERLIxck From the Chicago Tribune.
 The health of M Maeterlinek wb,., at present is not good. Is in dan~. of further impairment "America,r er plains NJ. Henri Russell, has 1anrle. the harmonic souistrings Of a drea and poet" This. we'll say. is den,A. II able. NJ. Maeterlinck, as We hanner know. was adverse to a sea tourr. but he was compelled to it by the ir ternational statute oblinging Frenc1 poets as well as their English contem poIAfies, To lecture in America. WI snouid ike to see this statute abroEat, ed by the League of Nations. If snh jects many distinguished men nf ,at ters to exauisite torture. It practicali1 ruined Dunsany.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-01-06
Field Day for Dry Force.

Tt looked like a field day for the Anti-saloon league on Monday with Dr P. A. Baker, John c. Woolsey and Brooks lawrence all at the Tutwiler'' said Dr. George R. Stuart. They were all present at the dinner given by the committee in
 efferson county which was to have charge of raising the special fund.- Mrs samuel Ledbetter is chairman. There were only few men present. but a large number of club and church women were in attendance to hear the addresses made by pr. Baker, Mir Woolsey and Mrs. Fuller of Orlando, Fla, all of whom were warmly applauded.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-01-06
New Programme for Year

We are getting things in shape to start on new programme of activities for the year 1920" said c. E. Jenks, gen. eral manager of the Chamber of Con- nerce. Following the expansion cam paign and reorganization last summer the members were requested to suggest what activities, in their opinion, the Cham Der of Commerce should undertake. Out of the scores of suggestions 10 were se- ected, and by the end of December all but two or three of these had been car- ried into effect or were in a fair way to be effected at an early date. A large percentage of the members are taking an active interest in the Chamber of Con- merce. and feel hopeful that it will &C.,
 omplish more for Birmingham in the year 1920 than in any previous year.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-01-06

BEGINNING THE DAY--o God, it is so hard to Iive-so hard to live and meet the ordinary demands of the day. Easy to mount up and fly but hard to walk the common way. Hard to bc patient, hard to be kind, hard to be true and faith fuL Again ' make my call on Thee, eternal and ipeShaustible Giyer. In His name. AmeB.--H. M. E.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-01-06

Tbere is no vice simple, but as- Sumcs Some mark of virtue his outward parts.
 Merchant of Venice.
 *.* *
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-01-06

The chances are his skill in pot ting squirrels and revenue officers stood him in good stead when he was sharpshooter in France.e
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-01-06
DID HIS BIT

DID HIS BIT
 nowadays when you encounter a sturdy mountaineer stridinp nlonr q road in the hill country. it isn't safe te assume that he has never been away from his native haunts. ''Noo"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-01-06
STRONG WILL

STRONG WILL
 'Is Jibway an unusual character" Perhaps he wouldn't be considered sc by most people. but I think Jib- Way is rather extraordinary man. Why so?"
 For years he has successfully re- sisted the efforts of agents to sell him a five-foot shelf of. books"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-01-06

Entered at the Birmingham, Ala.' postoffice as second-class matter, un- der act of Congress. March s. 1879.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-01-06

Remittances can be made at current rate of exchange. The Age Herald Will pot be responsible for money sent through the mails. Address
 THE AGE HERALD,
 Birnin gham, Ala.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-01-06

TELEPHONE Hell (privatc exchange connecting zII departmental Main 1900.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-01-06
IDLE cURIosITIEs

IDLE CURIosITIEs Did you ever see a 'noonshine stiIr in operation?' No replied the town dweller. That's the sad part of it.'' "Yes?"
 "All the stills I've ever seen had been captured by officers and had ceased to function"
 NO KISSES Tt seems to me Felicia threw away that bunch of mistletoe with an air of disgust Yes. Felicia says she hung it up and took it down and that's all there was to that episode"
 PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-01-06

No communication will be published without it's authors name. ReJecteu manuscript will not be returned unless stamps are enclosed for that purpose
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-01-06

Chairman Broadly of the programme committee made the announcement that during 1920 the chief topic of the ad- dresses would hang around the lives of the great American preachers. It will be the order to assign to some member the name of one of our leading pull
 summary of his life and teachings. This will no doubt not only prove a drawing
 card, but will be interesting and in- forming.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-01-06

government
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1920-02-13
COALITION OR CATASTROPHE

The which organized labor undertaking pursue in
the Presidential campaign makes prompt and firm
choice between these alternative nevabhch shall be- major
iy minority government Democracy auocracy? Coalition
or catastrophe?
The leaders Of the American Federation of Labor are deter
mined that their 100000 members shall rule the country
they have just issued proclamation calling upon their
bershp and the membership of all affiliated organize
political machine the
of defeating all candidates for regardless of party who
refuse comply with their selfish and eectng regard e
of those candidates who willing bow all such de
mands.
This that unless prompt and powerful are
taken by the great but unoganzd majority
tec their rights such majority this comparatively small but pow
euy organized of abotes MAY be able coming
elections to majority Congress
lie Office generally pledged do its will and enthusiastically means
that adequate steps taken meet and defeat this
organized labor will at least the balance power America
and will hold the fate of the the hollow of its
To attempt this by the organization of third
independent party would only be futile but play
directly into the hands of the laborites.
Moreover for either of the great political parties to under
take alone conduct fight would only
draw the full force Of the attack of the consolidated abor and
spell utter defeat.
Unless Americans submit supnely autocrac minority
rule and catastrophe the many millions stand for safe lust nm
selfish majority hands the this menace and
fight with solidarity eadaness and zeal To do tbis
the great parties who opposed minority laborte
uea coalition of the leaders well the the Demo
and Republican parties and complete the labor
organization minority.
Fortunately there great outstanding issues separat-
Democrats and Republicans and national problem which
calls patriotism they already nearly unit When German
autocacy threatened America there complete that
America threatened by danger that from within instead
from without and that seeks under color legality to subord
autocratc minority rule lines and party traditions
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1920-02-13

Q. Please give me a prescription
for a good blood medicine.
A. If you have been reading the
column you should realize that is a
very foolish request to make. If
your automobile engine were not
working properly. you would surely
insist first on finding out what was
wrong The human body ) much
more complicated machine, and in or
der to keep it in condition it is neces-
sary to look it over most carefully.
When the system appears to be ont
Of order, an accurate diagnosis is of
the greatest importance. Be sure,
therefore, to consult qualified
physician, have him give you thor
ough medical examination, and find
out what is needed. MICA harm has
been done by the taking of blood
medicines" without knowing wheth-
er they are the proper ching to take.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1920-02-13
MANY FOR ONE IN SUMTER COUNTY.

The story that Jack built many of the
pie folk tales that have of the mdsts of the lives
because the kernel of fundamental truth the boiled
down discovery of mankind Sumter existed only
marked geologic deposit red soil hidden from the sky by forest
evergreen that everything hap
pens has relationship something else Putting another his
form live himself alone is hardly necessary
tell agur that there bug that bites bug that bites
bug and nhniu In plain English their
neghborhood prospers Which what getting D
rey indirectly consciously unconsciousy broth
er's keeper.
Ali this is rather high browish perhaps
Let imagine Mr. Citizen and Taxpayer the first man to
appear in Sumter county You are the original you stand
bank Flint and watch muddy eddng around
the you feel bit discouraged Making begin
ming looks mighty worth undertakings There
one to you After you have built your house.
log cabin and split little revood would be willing to have the
remainder float down the yellow you could be would
dam the and food the than is What
will the soil grow? The whole could be bought for the
song Indeed bird song the encouraging thing
100000 political entity styled
Sumter county
But something has happened county Men and
men borders They have put forth effort They
down the and titled the SOIL They have enriched
with their ambitions They have taken thought for the
welfare they prospeed they have built better
and better churchs few generation have been
willing give their time thought energy
univ welfare without expectation fashion
brought pass the house that Jack built which called
county. Perhaps might have been better
house if persons given thought
assistance the building But all of the prospecting
because of the presence OF each other
What benefits one benefits ALL
Business simply the organization Of the of supplying the
needs of the community If there circulation and
trusted there would be bankers facilitate the ccu
aon of money and credit If and did desire
the many products of the soil would be groers
did personal appearance
goods merchant would be greatly restricted Builders
would have nothing there demand good
roads, them Community
accumulated wealth
working for community progress the way pro-
noting community prosperity and thereby individual progress
prosperity for the reorganization the
and County Chamber of Commerce body amply
manned and financed and provided with community goal utilize
the combined leadership and the community should
command the whole of who desires and
prosperity.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1920-02-13
A Vegetable Compound That Knocks
the Cold Out of Your Entire Sys.
tem-Will Not Make You Sick.

Colds do not have to run their
course" if properly treated. A cold
is caused primarily by an inactive
liver; an inactive liver disorders the
kidneys, and the blood catches the
impurities that these organs have
failed to eliminate.
The quickest way to prevent OF
cure a cold is by treating the liver,
kidneys and blood all at the same
time with DR.. Hitchcock's Liver, Kid
ney & Blood Powders. The same
rule applies the treatment of con-
stipation, biliousness, Indigestion,
gas, sour stomach, headaches, rheu-
matism, etc.
25 cents will buy large tin box.
Take as directed tonight and it will
straighten you cut by morning
Guars nteed to please or morey re-
funded. (adv)
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1920-02-13

He jumped into the bramblebush and
scratched out both his eyes;
And then he jumped into another
bush and scratched them in
again.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1920-02-13

Q. What can be done for bron-
chial asthma? | have no rest frcm
coughing and sortness of breath, yet
my doctor assures me thaC my heart
is strong. What makes me short
winded. even if I work a little fas-
ter?
A. The treatment of bronchial
asthma is sometimes most unsakis-
factory, especially when the condi-
ton has persisted for some time, and
there is considerable change in the
lungs. If you are dissatisfied with
your treatment, be sure to speak
frankly to your physician and per
haps have him refer you to some
specialist.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1920-02-13

DIR. Hitchcock's Liver, Kidney &
Blood Powders Tone Up the Liver,
Stimulate the Kidneys to Healthy
Action, Thus Purifying the Blood.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1920-02-13
TO PREVENT OR
CURE A COLD

Treating the Liver Alone is No Sufi-
cient-To Get to the Quickest Re-
suits, Treat the Kidneys and
Blood Also.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1920-02-13

Preparations for burial of Mrs.
Mary +. Mahoney, of Newton, N. B.,
were under way. when the undertake
er thought he saw the body move.
he looked again. By this time the
woman was sitting up.
What's coming off around here %
she asked.
by that time the undertaken was
four blocks down the street, going
ike a streak of creased tightening.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1920-02-13
Answered.

Q. Is an operation for hernia dan
gerous? Would it be advisable to
undergo such an operation during
pregnancy?
A. The operation is not especially
dangerous. Whether it should be I'M
dertaken during pregnancy depends
entirely on the character of the her
mia and on the period of pregnancy.
This question can only be decided
by surgeon thoroughly familiar
with all the circumstances.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1920-02-13
SUCH IS LIFE

Who tells you every day just
what's doing all over the land.
Wen bet you've seen a dispenser
of newspaper help an elderly lady
across the street more than once in
your lifetime.
Didja ever ston to consider these
little sideighy5 when yor hand over
a few pennies over to Jimmie" the
Newsie?
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1920-02-13
She's studied fancy yamping

She's studied fancy vamping
At the movies till she knows
How to get the fellows lamping
Her at every place she goes.
She knows the kind of dresses
That will catch them in the tolls
And how to do her tresses
In those snaky, sneaky coils.
But crushed is her ambition
Though she tries so hard to sin,
For Sadie's disposition
Makes her camp EN- with a grin.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1920-02-13

An astonishing story of a minis
ter who. injured in the head by fall,
became baby again, has just come
to light through DR.. A. T. Schofield,
vice-president of the Victoria Insti-
tute, London.
The 'baby" was in perfect health
and showed an angelic disposition
as he crawled about the floor.
This condition of infancy in ma
ture life, said DR. Schoield, Knight
have continued indefinitely had not
the baby one day in the cooks alb
sence managed to fall downstairs.
At the boCJom of the stairs he rose
up-the Baptist minister again"
Now join with US in singing:
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1920-02-13

Q. | have had the flu, and am I'M
easy about my lungs. Have rot lost
weight and have 10 cough. except
when | take cold. l have haa a
slight pain at times in my ri mt lung.
Someone has advised me tc be i'm
munized with tubelculin. What would
you recommend?
A. The results following the use
Of tuberculin have varied consider
ably. Experience has shown that IT
is by no means assured that injection
with tuberculin will act as a preven-
tive. Chief reliance on building up
resistance should be placed on good
food, fresh air, and proper amount
Of rest. Be sure to 'or1Il' you-
family physician and have him advise
you.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1920-02-13

may be ubordnaed and patriotic coalition substituted liberty
which by defeating the Kaiser will quickly
and the disciples of Plumb Pansm industrial decentralization Boil
hevsm and destruction be the ruin the
country.
The choice must be made-and made quickly
WHICH SHALL 1T BE, COALITION OR CATASTROPHE