Omaha daily bee., 1920-11-23
ALine O. Type or Two

! THE chief of the Mohicans has sent pack
| age of boneset tea to the White House. to asss
! in the cure of the Great White Father This i
more agreeable message than that of an earlie
1 chief who, when asked, "What shall / tell tn,
Great Father?" replied, Tell the Great Fathe
to go to hell" But its curative powers arr
4 probably not greater. We remember a Chippewe
of our party, once on time who, afflicted with
"a pain in his little inside" writhed all day il
spite of frequent drauglAs of miraculous Indiar
! decoctions When we heard about it we gave
| him couple of tablets, and he &as on his feet
| III five minutes.
| FAIR WARNING TO THE IPEAsANTRY.
(From the CINCINNATI Enqurer.)
The annual fall hunting season will be
opened in Ohio tomorrow. and, according
to the state fish and game department.,
army of at least 100000 hunters will begin
+ to comb the fields and forests in search of
rabbits and peasants.
FOR many years Charles Nevers Holmes
of Newton, Mass, has been rhapsodizing about
one more adjectvaf satellites AS reward for
this unselfish toll suggest that the School of
Journalism engage Mr. Holmes for the chair of
astronomy.
A Plea for Our Thugs.
Sir: Now that the winter is coming on I
want to appeal to the citizens of Chicago for
the cdmfoN Of thugs. whose work at this
season is most trying. While we sit comfortly
in our warm homes let not forget these brave
men. who are often out all night long, many
Of them poorly clad shod, their numbed
fingers scarcely able to grasp their guns. Per-
haps we forget their discomforts and sufferings
by rejecting too much on their boldness and
courage, yet how often has not belated citi
zen been held up by only three Of these gentry
one Of whom has pushed gun against his rigs
another looked out for the police. while the
third searched his pockets; yet their reward Is
often disappointing. This appeal is made for
mufflers, warm socks and woolen mitters which
will keep their hands warm but leave the trigger
finger free
two thingss they make our papers exciting with
the record of their heroic deeds, and they have
helped to make our city famous.
Let us not miss this chance of relieving the
suffering of these men--whO so often relieve
us-who are out working in gangs in cold and
rain, and who before retiring weary to their
beds, must patiently clean and dry their guns
on which life and theirs depends Don't
forget-"they work while you Sleep" G. F.
APPARENTLY the argument, "Do you
want to see your son called by super-state to
settle the quarrels of Europe" was not pushed
in Spain, or if it was it was disregarded.
SHOPPING
My Mother took me to the store
To buy goods like the dress wore.
"She grows fast" she told the clerk,
'It makes lot of extra, work"
The store was in a house so high
1t seemed the roof must touch the sky,
And many elevator cars
Were twnkling up and down like stars.
MAN Found With Throat >Cut Refuses to
Talk"-St Louis Globe-D Democrat.
Excusable retlcence.
CHAPTER I.
, (From the Addison, Mich, Courier.)
Born to Mr.. and Mrs Don Ehlinger,
Sunday, a son.
(To be continued)
THE object of this, number relates al
bulrb, about Baltimore. us a general survey of
Baltimore, its export and import trade, its ma
rne, shipbuilding, industrial, and financial con-
dition-ip fact every reason why the port OF
Baltimore is, not the coming seaport of the
world
The Second Post.
(In which an intention to pay is adumbrated)
Dear Sir: l writing to let you know
mean to- pay you have had. so much trouble
have not been able to pay you my daughter
had to go to the hospital and had to pay that
am a poor widow woman | mean to pay you
please sir don't get uneasy / going to pay
you if you will jest give me little time I will
pay you to give weeks and l will pay
little time If you please give me some
time am going to pay. II
WHY, no, Elspeth, we did not miss the news
in the Incompatible Heraminer, "Crane Appears
on Stand in Wife's' Suit" Nor did we miss
the information that the, stripes were half all
inch WIDE. g..
THEY HAVE BEEN sINGULARLY REN1Iss.
Sir; Haven your Philadelpha readers in.
instruction In voice culture at Penn Charter?
NJ. Q. C.
"a DISTINGUISHED attorney confdes
A. c. p, "has just dictated to me: AS soon as
you get any inkling Of substantially the exact
date we will have to goato Des Moines'."
EXAMPLES FOR THE SCHOOL OF
JOURNALISM.
(From the Michigan Daily)
Rachmaninoff's truly artistic playing, his
wonderful interpretations and his unique
personality, all blended together in paint
ing tone poems of infinite beauty, so eminent
in color value that after striking the ear
progressed to the heart and nestled there
PRESUMABLY the Chicago Band, which
plans concert tour to advertise Chicago will
throw away its instruments of percussion and
employ only horns.
Advanced Telephony.
Sir: In attempting to place a long distance
call could not make the operator understand
the initial 3D." and every time l would ~fepeat
she would come back with e-b-c.p, and other
etters.' L finally told her 1t was the first letter
in damn" She understood r. G.
THOSE who like to roll their own will need
only these makin's: In Marion Ind, Iva Pace
has been granted divorce from Ralph Pace
DOES THE MOWER HURT YOU, sIR?"
Sir: May report that George Moe is a
barber right here in this town? ANN ARBOR.
A FIRM of opticians, advises us of rush
order for customer who wrote: II am sending
you my glasses under separate cover, both
lenses broken Please repair and return rush, |
as the only way can see now is to hold two
empty beer glasses to my eyes,"
ADD HEART OPPORTUNITIES.
(From the Tampa Tribune.)
If you are lonely and desire a. bachelor
husband, 58, and will give $4,000 at
marriage to care for you during life, kindly