The Washington times., 1920-03-19
NINTH CHAPTER FROM
RUTH RANDALL'SDIARY

terday. When got here at 500 Clin
was here. Had been here an hour
He was sitting in the window with
a glass beside him. Pulled me over
his lap aAd said he'd been cross and
that he was sorry.
Feels Contempt Cannot He Overcome.
JULY Ill have been reading all
the foolish things / have written for
the past two years about GIN.
The book is filled with means.
have written SO many times that
cried because Gin did not KISS me
good night. l don't cry sow.
Doesn't it show that / care less, or
what? Ii hurts me 10 drop into the
rut Of regular married people who
show very little enthusiasm or hap
piness when they meet at night after
having been separated the whole day.
IL / did not ruff and jump and
kiss Cliff when he comes home for
dinner he would never make a move
toward me-, On the surface every
thing is smooth.
But in those few moments when
he is so kind and tender l live my
whole life and try to forget the
other lines or put them away from
my mind when he is contemptuous
of my sex and me in particular.
Underneath his sweetness he feels
that IoathinG that can never be over
como for the woman who has slipped
mo matter when. The woman has
only heartache and the realization
that the single standard rules. What
can only n mistress expects
AUGUST S-Cliff starts in bust
ness for himself next month. I am
so glad, and expect great things to
be done by my Cliff. Collins was
here for dinner the other night. He
was charmipgly polite and CHR was
very good.
PREDICTS THEY WILL PART SOON
AUGUST 26.-Cliff is working hard.
too hard. Snid the other night he
cannot go along with me this way
for the rest OF his life. and that MS
Pnulctte gets older he will spend
more and more time with her, SO
will be alone more and have the time
: TO see other people, and that he viii
probably catch me out with some
one and that will end it between us.
He insists that I learn to be copy
writer so that I can be independent.
SEPTEMBER 2-Cliff's office opens
today in full force with stenos and
all. He said last night there would
be no more Kitten visits. y
have been there several times to
meet him or wait for him or to take
him things. Don gave him SOME
shares of stock on which Cliff bor-
rowed money, but issued Don no
stock of the c. B. Company. Don
wants Edna to work in the office
from o to 4, and Cliff won't have 1t.
said he'd probably have break with
Don today. That he has used him
as much as he can
The shame of speaking so OF friend
Of twenty-five years standing. 1 sup
psse I ana still n little useful. or I.
81 IL
The sooner the oil wind" blows the
better for me.
ROPES TO GET JOB NEAR HIM.
am studying the advertising book
Cliff bought me, and 1 hope to please
him by being successful in my poor
attempts. II were ever happy and
contented and felt secure in all that
I have and know I have not 1 feel
] could do great things.
cannot hold Cliff except by talk
ing business. Sunday. here alone with
me. he was restless and wanted Edna
and Al to come over. They did not
come. played the Beethoven Sonata
ne brought home so long ago and he
was pleased.
must rise to his plane.
4 must be cold, cruel, calculating,
and i must use people to gain sue
to do to be successful in his eyes.
SEPTEMBER 10 "wednesday morn
ine)-CIiff goes to Evanston to help
pack the family off to Fond du Lac.
They go tomorrow. Monday night he
bought an electric for his home.
Gn-s to sleep every night without
kissing me.
Cliff said he would como to see
me two or three times a week IN
the new nat There may be no new
fiat.
OCTOBER 1s-we are ut No. 1907
Lake PARK avenue. Moved In Tues
day last week. Andree moved to her
fiat also last week. I have been
shaving here for nearly two weeks.
THreate,s Once Msre to XIII Self.
Cliff away all night in Milwaukee
Tuesday and has gone out North
three or four times. but got here at
1880. ! was i'll. Went to Edna's
and for homo at 1880. CHM left
note, took his satchel and a few COL
lars and shirts and shaving things.
He came back at 1890. an hour apd
a half after he had phoned. saying he
would see me tomorrow.
The next time he goes like TINT
won't be alive when he returns. II he
ever does. What is the use OF being
unhappy? He hardy spoke this
morning, never touched me, does
nothing.
OCTOBER 10 Sunday. I p. Nj
Cliff left me an hour ago to 80 North.
he kissed me for the nrst time since
THURSDAY. ! Am ready TO collapse.
Sometimes / think I can go on,
but always in mind Is the thought of
leaving this world.
, Just two days ago I thought Of
taking Cliff with me.
I am writing this deliberately
while my colored nanny is here
near me cleaning the floors.
Editors Note-This is October
j1e. she did not kill him untI
= Murch-) ..
I am conscious Q: the terrible
madness OF such plan, but | cannot
,ilff sim has n few shirts and
sbavina things nj the club In the