The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1920-11-20
JUST A GIRL
a LETTER TO KENNETH.
CHAPTER 1hn
By:JANE PHELPS

This thought, that was cheating
Kenneth ana myself, took such pos
session of me that 1 could not sleep
So arose, and moving quietly SO thai
neither mother nor Aunt Susan would
be disturbed, l commenced a letter tC
Kenneth.
Just as soon as started to write
all my indecision left me. I fei
happy, peaceful, and the struggle tina
had been going on in my mind ended
felt so light hearted-so different
from what had during the time since
Kenneth had left us with my promise
to decide in six months whether
would marry him or go on being 6
business woman, caring for myself an6
mother-that I scarcely could realize
L was the same girl who had been 50
anxious, so worried
Dear Kenneth" commenced,
81 have been long in replying to your
letter, but 1 could not write before.
Now. my indecision is ended, and I
feel that you will understand and
forgive if l have to cause you either
pain or regret.
THE six months is nearly up. I
cannot let you take this long journey
unless you come knowing exactly
how I feel. Not that 1 would not be
say you are very busy, that your
ranch needs your personal super
vision, so it would be unfair for me
to cause you. to neglect anything be-
cause of a misrepresentation.
have been very unhappy, Ken
meth, for the past six or eight Weeks.
Unhappy because 1 have not known
my own mind, because L could not
decide whether I cared for you
H.r~H- = -.
this strange? Do you think I'm
tickle? Please do not.
"You see, Kenneth, scarcely
knew you at all. Scarcely know you
now, really You represented a
giFlish dream because I endowed you
with all the virtues 1 felt the man I
would marry must possess. do not
say that you haven't them, and many
more. But L have realized in these
last weeks that to marry, one should
love. And, Kenneth, 1 do not love
you-not in that way.
L would be cheating you and
cheating myself did I marry you.
Cheating you because some day you
will find the girl who will love you
in the right way-if 1 am not there
to prevent. Cheating myself be-
cause l would not be happy. am
happy in my work now that / have
mother with me. And now that 1
. have decided to continue to be a
working woman, I shall be still hap
pier, because all indecision is gone
and I can devote myself to business
with my mind at rest.
L hope and pray, Kenneth, that
you will not be unhappy over los
ing me. Really 1 am not worth a
single regretful thought. 1 have
tried to be fair. to do what is right
L made the mistake when 1 encour-
aged you to come to Chicago. But
you will forgive that, I know.
should like to feel that we are still
friends We never have been lovers
you know-have we?
81 shall not seal this letter until
morning-it is late, after midnight.
Mother will want to send you some
message, 1 am sure. She will be
glad that have decided-sorry that
1 have determined to be a business
woman, instead of a wife. She
doesn't quite believe it the right
thing for any girl, so of course hates
me to devote myself to a business
career.
Il shall stop now. and say good
night"
Morning:
Mother sends her love to you,
and thanks you for your kind
thought of her in wishing her to
be with you if it had been pos
sible for me to marry you She
said: ell Kenneth 1 shall always
have a warm spot in my heart for
him. and she isn't the only one.
Kenneth, who will always cherish
your friendship 1t will mean much
to me.
Now I must close. 1t is time
to go to the office.
Always your friend.
'sZENA STEWART
(To be continued.)