Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1920-08-15

Der OF the party ordered salad in self
defense. 1t doesn't take much to
furnish laughter for crowd radiant
with the starshine of youth. so that
the little gust of fun blew over to
make room for the next joke-after
one boy had climaxed the incident
with an epigram that went like this:
The onion: 1t builds you up ply
sically. but drags you down So
cially."
1t is a wide jump from the country
club back to folklore Asia, but the
been only that very evening that the
bulbs and roots of the orient ap-
peared before Mother Nature in a
body to complain of her injustice:
You have sheathed Onion in silver
armor pleasing to the eye; given him
Mother. and we refuse to grow
which was. doubtless. the Seeding of
the first strike on record. Nature,
and dull-coated bulbs, saw the par
TALLY and remedied it then and
There.
MY children. 1 cannot take from
Onion the gifts l have bestow ed upon
him, but l hereby promise that until
men to weep and to walk in a cloud
of pestilential incense, and m,
prophets shall hold him up to de-
irision until the end of time
Did she keep her word? You ask
that fraternity crowd at the club the
lother night. And consider the
epigram.
A MAN stopped a young fellow on
~ the street and asked him the
time Of day. Young fellow questioned
his watch and said it was just /
o'clock. The man hurried off as il.
to keep date that meant money. and
La third man-oldish, and with an air
of solid Notwithstanding up l..
THE sky and remarked with genia.
assurance:
You are a bit slow, my boy. 1t Is
twenty minutes after"
How do you make that out. sir
| AS he put his query the young fell
How smiled with the superiority that
comes Of owning a timepiece that
cost a pretty penny, tempered with
friendly respect.
son, it was born in me. In the old
days when few farmers owned clocks
they had to depend on the sun. Con :
seouently when / was growing UP
we always measured the work day by
shine and shade, leaving the boughten
timepieces for the women to go BY ]
carry a watch. of course, for nights
] When IncTc are hO StdiC oI'N -
cloudy weather. but on days like tins
always rely on the sun, because II
keeps better time"
yes, sir, I've read about 1T, but
don't YOU reckon the ld-timers trust
ed to the sun because there was nc
right or wrong? Let US see wnat the
post Office clock has to say about IL!
The big hands pointed to twelve
minutes after 1. which proved the
mans estimate to be nearer correct.
but as the young fellow said. the old
thing was never right, anyhow, and
then the two chuckled together.
The younger man must have en-
joyed the little talk. for he said,
lighting a cigarette, and offering one
to the other. which was refused:
Must have been pretty tough on
folks in back days. before clocks
were invented. OF course. you could
get a rough idea of how time was
going, but I don't see how the world
could attend to its business without
The oldish mans expression changed
from humor to surprise. as if he
didn't know whether the young fell
low was kidding or short on learn
ing;
history Of the Chaldeans? That judah
owned her sundials thousand years
before the Christian era? That
France can show you one almost as
old. and that-why. boy. how do you
jsuppose the first navigators got along.
unless they had. had
And then car came along and
gathered in the very genteel person
who had been listening in.
IONCE upon a time a fairy god.
I h1,o l>,h
and wished the oldest sort of gift
And the result was Emmy Jane.
Except that you couldn't possibly
be expected to remember moonshine
STUFF like this, you might recall that
Emmy Jane told this column a blue
moon ago that she meant to buy
a house in this city when she made
some real money. For one thing, she
loved Washington, but her real rea-
son was that her mother died here
and you couldn't ask for anything
more real than death.
1t is just six-roomer, but there
is sleeping porch and hedged-
around garden. where Miss Mittee
can grow hollyhocks next spring
Mittie. she is the little old lady who
took Emmy Jane from the orphan
asylum to live on the farm that
time when there was no one else to
love her. And no child can grow up
right without love.
As Miss Mittie always boosted
Emmy Jane had wonderful voice
that could do everything but turn
a tune. There wasn't a creature on
the farm that grunted, mooed. chirped
or buzzed that she couldn't initiate
| which is the reason, you remember
she was taking off a covey of par
tridges that fall when hunter came
along-and the next thing Emmy
Jane knew she was in heaven, with
a whiterobed angel feeding her from
a spoon-theugh, of course, it was
a hospital in Baltimore, which is some
different. The hunter had rushed
her there in his car. and was most
distracted-though no one blamed
him. after Emmy Jane was able to
sit UP in her cot and tell how it
happened:
"This is the way partridge
drums-and bob-white calls like this
land here is a catbird. s-n-a-k-e-
now I'm the old sow-now I'm little
pigs--and here's how the trees rustic
when sudden wind comes up-and
this is the tide coming in"
And you may-just may-recall that
the doctor had patient, big stick
in vaudeville. who put Emmy Jane on
the road. But what you don't know.
because it has just happened she
has bought her house and Miss Mittie
is to boss it while Emmy Jane trav-
els, and do the mothering of her
when she comes home for rest times.
Jane for this time. except that, to
quote the classics:
Amt nature wonderful"
| X X X
| CHE had sumptuous back pow