Rock Island Argus., 1920-01-03

d TaE SAGE or TaE sIDEWALK

4}
d THE SAGE or THE sIDEWALK
MSS Tesls.
AZ home It seems to bs the ruis
Pa never has ethe proper tool
ff rack to fx things. For the stunt
That stumps ma, Though, you'll have to hunt
The castor on the table leg
Fell out. Pa said q wooden peg
Would fix 1t up. But ma KEEP mum
And fxed It with wad Of gum.
Wa could scarce open our front door,
II stuck 10 tight An pa, he swore
He'd "buy plane as big as life
Nh ixed it with the carving knife
The bureau drawer got stuck one day.
And push or pull twas there to stay
says pa, some day twill shrink, Fhope
Nh hxed It with piece OF soap.
The window shade got out Of whack.
Twould not pull down, nor yet roll back.
pa says. "No one can fix that thing.
Ma fixed 1t with piece OF string.
broke the stove door hinge one day.
('Twas cracked before, though, anyway.
Pa said We q put new 4uVoI Al
Ma grabbed her hair an got pin.
The bathtub drain got all clogged up.
Pa bailed the tub out with CUP
He had dreadful helpless look.
Ma cleaned it with crochet hook.
One day our old clock wouldn't start
| Pa said he'd take 1t all apart
| Some day an fix the Oh machine
Ma soused the works in kerosene.
The garden gate latch it broke one day.
Cows ate our sweet corn up. An say,
Pa scolded like q house afire!
Ma fixed the latch with baling wire.
So when my things gets out Of fix
Do / ask Pa to mend 'em? Nix!
But ma Just grabs what's near at hand
An togs things up to beat the band.
| "This world that we're alvin In
Is mighty hard to beat:
We get thorn with every rose
But amt the roses sweet?"
.As / was going over the bridge the oths
lday. I met Patsy O'Brien. 'OBrien, says
how are You? Pretty well. thank you. Brady
says he 'Brady?' says l. that's not my name
l'Faith,' said he tan mines not OBran'
with that we both looked again at each Other
and sure enough it was nayther Of US"
10 30
Consider the violin. A cat contributes tn
strings horse furnishes the bow, ma
rakes in the money, and we call it-harmony.
1 Narrowing Details.
i II want that book, The Red Boat puifed
nlun.n mafron of uncertain wears.
"'The Red Boat'-by whom? interrogate
& sweet-and-twenty at the book counter.
"Oh, don't know who 1t is BY never pa
no attention to who writes EN-"
I After a thorough search: Il have no sue
book in stock, and none by that name listed
well, it's mighty strange. It's book yo
see everywhere at Christmas. My sister hs
1. an"
A pretty pucker gathered between swee
and-twenty's blue eyes:
IT have never heard OF it; we have the be
sellers, the classics, and-here Is one we ha,
great demand for-"THE RUBAIYAT-"
That's it, that's it. The Ruby Yacht
said it was the Red Bost'-or something lii
, lit"
.. There is talk OF Wood for president a,
Cole for governor Wood-Cole--that ought
make hot campagn.-Columbus Dispatch.
May cat look at king? Certainly,
!, 1.-The safest time is when sitting in the queer
: lap.
: Did you know there is an Elzabethan pc
8 living today! He lives in Elizabeth, New il
!, |sey. His name? Peter Lindsay.
30
A recent ad: Family going away for t
3 winter will rent their house to couple witho
n children containing all the latest impro,
l., ments.
OF the making of many books there is
= end-and yet of thousand new books issu
II in any one season not one hundred are re
v the year after publication; 10 years later,
:. these one hundred not even 10 are alive. p,
haps that is why one of our foremost essay
once said, "Never read a new book