davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1920-06-10

'4That is an old joke among the ant
mails and most Of them see through Il
now and don't pay any attention to
It."
II dent believe I know the 1sks,"
said the other COW.
'Tm quite sure you don't," said Aiss
Holstein.
swell, It's nice to be sure" said the
other COW.
ut u.s." agreed Miss Holstein.
''You had better explain the Joke to
me-" said the other COW, before you
60 on to tell me what you were ~
ing to tell me about making your rec
ord"
"The joke" said Miss Holstein, III
90 said before, an old Joke. When
An animal wants to explain something
the animal will say,
"'You see it's this way He won't
mean, or she won't mean that there 10
certain way or direction OF place or
spot to be looked at but that 1t 10 this
way in the direction Of the oxplana.
ton.
"When I start to explain something
I say that 1t is this way. meaning I'm
starting to tell you In such way 20
you will be able to understand.
Nov that is the best can describe
1t for I am only COW and not. very
clever even If l did make record"
Tell me about the record" said the
other COW.
'You see" said Miss Holstein, s'it
was perfectly easy for me to give all
the milk did. I didn't think about It.
I just kept on giving it and giving 1t
without thinking. didn't care about
making record. Neither did think
Of such thing. I hadn't any ambt-
ton, gracious no.
ut just SO happened that made q
record, that is all. But Of course
will not let on about it for l am re-
ceiving so much praise for making this
record.
"Why, 1t was as much Of surprise
to me as 1t was to anyone" said Miss
Holstein. But even though 1 didn't
know was making a record I hope
that they'll reward me for it by gtvins
me even better food than ever"
'But should they give you reward
for something you didn't think about
doing for them-something that waa
just luck }" asked the other COW.
ITO be sure" said Miss Holstein
'lots Of folks and lots of animals havl
luck, SO why shouldn't COW. tool
Surely, say. COW should have luck
I'm for good COW luck, am"
swell, of course. can understand
how you would be-" said the othsl
COW.
"Luck. luck, good luck to COWS q
well as to other creatures, that is wins,
I say" ended Miss Holstein.
MOO, moo. / agree" said the oths,
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1920-06-10

matoes through sieve to make one
pint. Add half a teaspoonful of salt
and pepper to taste. Stir one-third of
a cupful of flour and a teaspoonful of
salt with milk to make smooth bat
ter. Dilute--with little hot milk, stir
until smooth, then add the rest Of the
hot milk. Continue stirring until
smooth and thick, Cook fifteen min
utes well covered. Strain into the hot
tomato, mix thoroughly, and serve at
once with croutons.
Parsnip Fritters. - Take leftover
parsnips and press through PURGE
sieve. To a cupful of the puree, add
one-fourth teaspoonful each of salt
and pepper, beaten egg and a dash
Of cayenne. Mix thoroughly and mold
into five or six fiat cakes. Cook in
small amount Of butter, browning on
both sides.
Bacon Frltters.-To prepare the
fritter batter, dissolve one-fourth of a
teaspoonful Of salt in one cupful Of
cold water and add 1t to the well-beat-
en- yolks Of two eggs which have been
blended with one and one-half table
spoonfuls Of melted butter or olive oil.
Add one cupful Of flour, beat well,
cover and put in q cool place for two
hours or over night. When ready to
use, beat the whites stiff and fold In
the mixture. Dip the slices of bacon
in the batter or chop In rather coarse
pieces. Fry in fat to float the fritz
ters.
Corn BaIIs.-Put three tablespoon
fuls Of butter in a saucepan. When
the butter is melted. add two cupfuls
of molasses and two-thirds Of cupful
Of sugar. Stir until the sugar is dis.
solved. Boil until. when tried In cold
water, the mixture becomes brittle.
Pour over six quarts Of popped corn.
Butter the fingers and shape into belis.
NJ. hle4,.,,!al'
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1920-06-10
1.-THE TROUBLE CHAsERS."

"The Trouble Chasers," as present.
ed at the High school auditorium last
night. is well named. Anyone who
could think of trouble during per-
Torrance Of that kind surely must be
pessimist.
The play, which is succession of
solos, choruses. dances and playets,
moved along with lightning rapidity.
Each number but adds to the spice of
the entertainment.
There are thirteen features on the
program, each composed of different
local people. Little tots We'd with the
older people for applause, which is
given unstintedly, in fact each num-
Der was encored several times.
1t is impossible to mention each in
dividual, as they should be, but the
singing Of Mr.. Hart and Mrs. H. L.
Roberts and the beautiful swing song
"My Pretty Rainbow" deserves spec
ial mention.
Just a fair sized audience was pres
ent last night. but without doubt the
house will be packed tonight after the
word has been passed around of the
unusual entertainment.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1920-06-10
DADDYJ EVENING
FAIRY TALE
N4lMAM QAhAM1N
Nm q POWER S1
the AoLsrElM COW

Il have Just made q record" Sala
Miss Holstein Cow. "A very 6ne rec
ord Yes, I have made q record -
to tho amount of milk have given, o.
given In return for the board have
received.
There have only been about alx
COWS who have done the ane sort e
work that l have done.
"There has been many q nne calf
who has been sold for a lot Of money
and many a fine COW too, but I am .
record maker. q new record maker"
why did you do It" asked another
COW.
SWELL" said Miss Holstein Cow. Il
viii tell you. Moo. Moo. yes. win
tell you"
MOO. moo. will be glad to hear
what you have to say" said the other
COW as she turned her great eyes on
Miss Holstein and chewed at the same
time.
"You see, It was this way" said
Miss Holstein.
"What way?" asked the other COW,
turning her head around.
"'Oh gracious" said Miss Holstein,
II may be stupid but do know that
much"
"What do you known? asked the
other COW. "You know the direction
you are speaking OFT"
"No." said Miss Holstein.
"You don't know it2 asked the
other COW. "How strange. Moo, Moo.
how very, very strange"
"Wait until finish what have to
say" remarked Miss Holstein swing
Ing her tail in a superior fashion.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1920-06-10
jas. Grahaaies was al Omaha busi.

Jas. Grahsaies was ah Omaha busis
ness passenger this morning.
j Mrs. Claude Burkett left this morn
| ing for a visit with her daughter,
Mrs. Chas. Hay, at Adel. 10.
Frank Kinds had strawberries Of
his own raising for supper Wednesday
evening.
Miss Eunice Kelly has accepted =
position in the office Of Peter Han
sen.
The Valley Sweet Shop has added
a number Of marble top serving Ia
bles to their ice cream department.
This parlor now has seating capacity
Of 60 persons.
/ Miss Helen Halsey is home, after q
two weeks visit with relatives and
friends in Fl. Dodge and Des Moines.
EUCLID COMMUNITY CLUB.
Euclid Community Club met with
Leila Chamber, June 2.
The afternoon was pleasant, and q
goodly number of guests were pres
ent.
Club opened by singing Standing
on the Promises"
Minutes were read and II ladies
answered roll call with Current
Events and recipes.
Program came next:
Mrs. Hatcher. reading, "Mere Mans
Vision Of Women"
Maud Jones read care Clubs Worth
While?"
The Community Club voted to cele-
brate their second anniversary by
having picnic the 25th of July.
nRce to be decided on later.
Committee to arrange for program
are Mrs. Beckley, Mrs. Maud Jones,
Mrs. Mabel Acrea, Mrs. Bess Cox.
The Club extends to Mrs. Kiger and
family, also Mabel Deal and family,
an invitation to our picnic, both being
former members.
Program for next meeting:
Mrs. w. N. Jones, Mrs. Gertrude
Beckley, Mrs. Manda Cox, selections.
The afternoon was spent in hem
ming towels. napkins and table cloths
for our hostess, or rather her daugh-
ter?
Visitors for the afternoon were:
Mrs. Geo. Colver, Mrs. Steve Tamil
siea, Mrs. Charlie Stout, Mrs. Cash
Mrs. Mclaughlin, Mrs. Felix Nc
Orchard, Mrs. Kiger, Miss Helen
Haight and La Reiu Tamisiea.
Dainty refreshments were served
Club adjourned to meet with Zoe
Davenport, June 10th.
Mabel Acrea, Secy.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1920-06-10
Cloth From BARK e4 Tree.

The famous "te2a" cloth Of Poly.
nesia is made from the inner bark of
the paper mulberry. When Of the I'm
est quality 1t Is bieached to snowy
whiteness and ilne As muslin. In trop-
zeal Africa the 'nnnr bark Of a legu.
minous tree IL utilized in the Same
way. Indeed. 1t Is surprising - learn
how widely tree barks are employed az
material for clothing the world over.
And in the West Indies grows the
"lace-bark tree" which yields a deli
cate tissue 30 like lace that many arti.
cles Of feminine adornment are made
from It.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1920-06-10
UnaaIians o,d.tu,ra

An old papyrus text, recently un-
sarthed In Egypt, shows . strong bias
against women. After citing long
series OF unfortunate happenings in
history, 1t bluntly charges all Of them
directly to the conduct and influence
o. woman. Then It goes on to ny that
II abe have wealth for her ally 10
wickedness, the evil 10 double. The
last line Of the fraknept IL not entire.
" lestble, but apt1sas to BE- dtths
same general tenor: -
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1920-06-10
Not Worth the Fuss

wv vvVssu Os0 GooO.
Little Elizabeth. after reading the
story of Adam and Eve in her Sun
day school book, said, "Well, can't
understand why they should have had
such an awful time just because they
ate one little apple"
"Huh," said her little brother A.
bury. speaking from experience, "Tu
bet 1t was 4 green one."
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1920-06-10
LIve Like Cliff jewellers.

A characteristic bit of the old worl-'
may be seen near Roundup, Mont.
where Austrian and italian miner
have built their homes in ancient fash
ion. under a projecting rim rock. B:
simply erecting stone wall they hav>
q shelter that cannot be bettered fo>
warmth In winter and GOODNESS in sum.
msf. aa
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1920-06-10

h g m 8 e ! v e 3,
Is w hen tn e y
are educ a t 9 d
enough" T h u 8
run the answers
of many Ameri-
cans pressed with
the question as to
when the Filipi-
nos 8 h ould be
granted their in
dependence. Now,
liability" "capaci-
ty" and "sufH-
cient education"
What do they
mean In black
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1920-06-10
MRS. JOSEPH FRANCIS.

MRS. JOSEPH FRANCIS.
Mrs. Anna Francis. wife of Joseph
Francis, passed away at o'clock
this morning, at the family home in
O'Dell addition, after a long illness.
She was 80 years Of age and is sur
vived by the husband, four sons and
one daughter.
The deceased has resided in this
city one year. the husband being en-
ployed at the local railway shops.
Funeral services will be announced
later.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1920-06-10

CABINETS

The only people who make no
mistakes are in the graveyard. To
fail is to grow. Do you know how
to make mistakes? Nothing re-
quires more constant practice than
mistake-making. America Is at 1t
constantly. and knows how. We
blunder on and on, but always for-
ward.-Doctor Crane.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1920-06-10
When Glass 10 Scratched.

To remove slight scratches from
plate glass. first clean the surface by
gently rubbing with pad of cotton
wool; then cover the pad with cot
ton velvet, rubbed with fine rouge.
This will not only remove the scratch
es, but will also impart great brill
fancy to the glass.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1920-06-10
so1nd Production,

"a person should always think be-
fore he speaks"
eyes," murmured Miss Cayenne;
"but some of us are so much better
equipped with the facilities for speak.
ing"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1920-06-10
Elidihle.

did you ever play in Hamlet7" In
quired theatrical manager Of
recent acquisition to his company"
"Ever!" exclaimed the newcomer.
''Why, I've played in every hamlet In
the world"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1920-06-10
NELsEN.GORDON.

Miss Pearl Gordon, daughter of
Mr.. and Mrs. U. s. Gordon Of this
city, and Mr.. Fred Nielsen, of Omaha,
were united in marriage at the latter
city, Sunday.
The many friends of the bride in
this city extend congratulations.
Mr.. and Mrs. Nielsen will reside in
Omaha.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1920-06-10
THE COMMUTFrrY REST rOOM.

THE COMMUNITY REST ROOM,
The Communts Rest ,:oom will be
formally opened 10 the public, Satur-
day afternoon and evening, June II.
A pleasing program will be given, and
light refreshments served. You are
cordially invited to call at this time
and see what pleasant room has
been prepared TO- this purpose.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1920-06-10
Roasted.

Footlighte-And was 1t pleasant
where you spent the summer7
Miss Sue Brette-Pleasant? should
say not. was just roasted.
"Ah! Then there were theatrical
critics there too, We're there?"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1920-06-10
REBEKAH CONVENTION.

REBEKAH CONVENTION.
A large number Of Rebekahs from
this city is attending the District con-
vention at Woodbine today.
An elaborate program has been pre-
pared and most successful meeting
is anticipated.
Mrs. Jennie Bower Of this city is
secretary of the District.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1920-06-10

Az ~ 8 AZ VAS
easy to prepare:
Tomato Bisque.
-Scald one quart
Of milk with q
stalk of celery
and two slices Of
onion. Pre- 8 9
oy,o,,rh oanLod IN.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1920-06-10
A MISUNDERSTANDING,

'Gladys and her husband have
started for their honeymoon in veri.
table ecstasy"
'That must be new make"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1920-06-10
Taklno an Interest.

"Every man should take an inter
est in the government"
'True," said Senator Sorghum;
"but after he has been in politics
awhile he can't be satisfied with any.
thing less than controlling interest"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1920-06-10

THE BROKEN ENGAGEMENT.
"Why did you pass him up. Ethel7
thought you liked him?"
II liked him well enough. but I
couldn't go through life with him. I
didn't care for the make of his car"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1920-06-10
Touch Luck.

Native-No show for Uncle Toms
Cabin" tonight at the opery house.
Visitor-show fail to turn up?
Native-No; our sheriff arrested the
owner for not having license for the
dogs.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1920-06-10
BELDEN-FOREMAN.

Miss Lydia Foreman, daughter of
Mr.. and Mrs. A. L. Foreman. and
Harry Belden, both residents Of this
city, were united in marriage at Des-
Moines, To-, on Wednesday. June 2.
Their friends here extend congratula-
tions.
Mr.. and Mrs. Belden will reside in
this city.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1920-06-10
Highly Responsible Citizen.

There was a man whose wondrous us'
Will keep the world from baking.
He tolls and hustles to produce
While others do the talking
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1920-06-10
Just Its Case.

81 understand we will have to part
with our candy feasts."
"Oh, that is parting which is such
sweet sorrow!'
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1920-06-10
Dry wit.

Dry Wit.
"Pa what is dry WITT"
"Dry wit, my son, is the clever
stuff men demand from others
when they're sober. It's infinitely
harder to think of than the stuff
they'll laugh at when they're drink
ing"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1920-06-10
SIMPLE GOOD THINGS.

Almost everybody likes a tomato
soup either cream or clear. The fol-
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1920-06-10
Some good authoritv Is not as GOOD

Some good authority is not as good
as it claims.
There isn't any such thing as a
good bet if you lose.
A denial is never as convincing as
the original statement.
Being good fellow to crouch is
one Of the hard jobs.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1920-06-10
The Better MAY.

"when Jake was building his min,
did he curse the inadequate water
supply?"
mo; he damned the pond"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1920-06-10
WITH ~
the x
Fu Inn ! s.
mEN NN
His Tip.

His Tip.
Mrs. styles-I want money for .
new hat, dear.
Mr. styles-why don't you take a
chance like me?
"what, and wear my old one year
longer?"
ooh, no; but bet new bonnet with
some lady friend on the weather to-
morrow"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1920-06-10
Jelly Plant,

Comparatively few people know,
says the American Forestry Magazine,
that we are getting. jelly from plants.
The Reselle plant has high CONNER
ella! value in the Philippines, Hawaii
and other Pacific islands. The plant
is an annual and attains a height Of
seven feet. 1t is probably the only
plant In cultivation in which the part
utilized for food is the calyx which
has excellent qualities for the manu-
facture of Jelly and allied products.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1920-06-10
Superabundance.

0UpeTdUUUUdNCSs
Oh. speech is free, men truly state
But we'd be in serious way
II all the business had to wait
Till everybody had his say.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1920-06-10
Its Nature.

"Don't you think my gift Of wrist
watch to my friend was appropriate =
II must say l think 1t was timely
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1920-06-10

!. when they show sufficient capaci-
u" when they are able to govern
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1920-06-10

No Doubt About Il.
Lawyer-As matter Of fact, you
were scared half to death, and don't
know whether it was motor car or
something resembling motor car that
hit you.
victim-1t' resembled one, all right.
was forcibly struck by the resem-
blance.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1920-06-10
WANT
AMERICA TO Give
INDEPENDENCE
Maxine N. KaIaw Declares U. S.
Cannot Consistently Refuse
HSelf. Determination"
D. MAxIMo M. KALAw,

0serseazy Of the Philippine Mission. Au-
thoe The Case for the Filipinos."
"ssaf- Government in the
Philtppines." sto.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1920-06-10

relatives and friends. They expect
to move to Council Bluffs in a short
time.
Mrs. Chas. ]. Deur, who has beer
very ill for the past several weeks, il
now able to be up and around.
c. H. Deur is installing gasoline
tank, capacity 500 gallons, at his lum
Der yard, for the use of his own mo
tor trucks.
At meeting of the business mer
It was decided not to hold 4th o,
July celebration in Logan this year.
Word was received Of the death o.
the infant son Of Mr.. and Mrs. j. j
Gallagher on May 81, at hospital il
Tampa, Florida. Mrs. Gallagher wa.
formerly Miss nellie O'Rourke, on,
Red Cross nurse.
Madams Hugh O'Neal and Lee
Highley were OMAHA visitors today
DR.. Hugh Tamisica reports tn,
birth of 2 pound son TO Mr.. an,
Mrs. Grover C. Neault.
Mr.. and Mrs. X. l.. Price were her,
last evening. They were on their wa.
to Jefferson to attend the funeral O
Mr.. Prices sister, Mrs. Elmer Jones
Fresh Milk lac per quart at Tn
Basket Store.
Mrs. 8. U. Blackburn is reporte'
very i'll at her home on East Fri
street.
Miss Cecil Perkins has resume,
hsr position at the C. H. Deur lumbe
nd coal office, after = four weeks
vacation spent In California.
Tpsz-
Ashland weekly tidings. [volume] (Ashland, Or.) 1919-1924, 1920-11-17
RESOLUTIONS.

The following resolutions. present.
ed by the committee at the Friday
session of the Jackson county insti-
ture, we're unanimously adopted:
Whereas; II is the sense OF this
meeting Of the Jackson County Teach
ers' Institute that the present salary
of the Superintendent of Public In
struction OF Oregon is entirely too
low and not commensurate with the
duties and responsibilities OF that Of
flee.
We therefore urge that at the next
regular session of the state legisla-
ture It be raised to $4,000 per year.
We further believe that .the pres
ent salaries of the county school sup
erintendents OF the State of Oregon
are In all cases too low to attract
and hold competent men and women
In those positions-and. as a result.
the elementary schools of the state
are suffering.
We therefore further recommend
and urges that an adequate salary
schedule be arranged and adopted
that will include every county in the
state and will take due cognizance Of
all elements and factors that ought
to be considered in planning such a
schedule. These elements or factors
Ashland weekly tidings. [volume] (Ashland, Or.) 1919-1924, 1920-11-17
HOW DOUGLAS FIR
RESTOCKS ITSELF

In spite of forest fires. nature has
restocked good per cent of the log
ged and burned-over forest land in
western Oregon and Washington, ac-
cording to ]. V. Hoffman, director of
the Wind River Forest experiment
station. who has Just returned to the
station ner Carson. Washington. af-
ter an inspection trip that took him
over many of the larger logging OPP
eratlons in western Washington. For
several years the forest service, un-
der DR.. Hoffman's direction. has CIV
en- much attention TO the study of
natural Douglas fir reforestation in
the northwest. He has found that
most OF the young fir growth coming
In on burned-over areas is not due
to seeding up by occasional trees
spared by the fires, but rather from
seed buried in the duff of the forest
floor.
Ashland weekly tidings. [volume] (Ashland, Or.) 1919-1924, 1920-11-17
birthday Party.

Mrs. A. W. Hall gave a party yes
terday afternoon at her home in hon
or of the ninth birthday anniversary
Of her daughter Wilma Hall. A
number of the little girls friends
were present and spent delightful
afternoon playing games, after which
dainty refreshments in color scheme
of pink and white we're served. The
guest list included: Marion Hitch
cock, Nell Marie Perrine, Lucille
Reader. Louise Moore, Mabel STEM
nett, Beatrice Werth, Wilma Nutter,
Helen Mortenson, Mary Wiley, Made
line Hill, Maxine Emery, Sarah Le-
Master, Wanda Schwein. Virginia
Walker. LaVerna Ramsey, Dorothy
Stevens. Ruth and Wilma Hall, Wal
ter O'ToOle and Raymond Stennett.