The Coconino sun., 1920-04-30


 To avoid being poisoned by wood al- cohol carry quincy pig in your pock- ct. Before touching drink allow the animile to lap few drops of the precious fluid. Wach the rodent carefully about fifteen minutes. If a pleased expression or smile comes over it's face, you may take drink without fear. If the animile dies do not take a drink. Leave it alone.
 Each quincy pig should only be used in testing three drinks. After that it is almost impossible to tell if the animile is dead or dead drunk.
 In testing cocktails the cherry should first be removed; otherwise the beast will eat the cherry and will not consume any of the beverage. = James Fauntleroy Witherspoon Gid- dings.
 He was stung, too:
 Dear Sir: I am write these letter to you just to announce you ques- tion. The whole what mean to say is that I've bought shares with the Co.,, and fool myself to don't have them exchanged with the -, but another thing I want to tell you that since I've bought my share only received sixty-eight cents in check for the first divident. So am pleas ing you very much to send me the div ident just as much that you send to all other stockholder. Very truly yours, etc"
 There is great deal of liveliness at the road camp down near Super for, George W. Harben says he hears. Someone in Phoenix the other day told him about meeting a man riding a mountain lion which he was furious ly whipping with a rattelsnake, who explained he was leaving the road camp because it was too - tough for him.
 Apropos of the bitter rivalry that has always existed between the twin cit ies, Minneapolis and St. Paul, J. B. Gunter told tourist from Minneap- oils the other day that he had just heard that that city had banished all copies of the Bible.
 z "Why, what for?" asked the aston ished tourist.
 Because they found that the Bible mentions St. Paul several times, but doesn't say a word about Minneap- olis," Gunter explained.
 A sense of humor is something that makes you laugh at something that happens to somebody else which would make you sore as the devil if it happened to you.-Bill Doney's philosophy.
 Michael Ginsburg, one of our men of letters, never had much opportun- ity during his life in Kansas City to study natural history; hence is some times puzzled by the manifestations of nature with which the hand of providence has so lavishly blessed this country. During the strike, Mike ac- companied his chief, Postmaster c. P. Heisser, to Winslow, to pick up an auto load of mail that had been side tracked there. They detoured some, to give Mike a better chance to see the country, and every little while passed herd of steers. Mike viewed these with much interest, but gradu- ally his face took on a very much puzzled look Finally he exclaimed: "Who in the world milks all these cows? We don't seem to be passing hardly any houses!"
 Though knowledge is power, it must
 be confessed,
 Sometimes there is reason to doubt
 it;
 For in teaching a girl how to love it
 is best
 To pick one who knows nothing
 about it.
 David Joy. The salesman does the speaking,
 The editor booms the town, The lover does the popping,
 The damsel turns him down,
 Or not;
 The poet does the dreaming,
 The farmer clears the woods, The eagle does the screaming,
 But the stork delivers the goods,
 Eh, what?
 l.. R. Lessel. Speaking of quotations, who is it that can be said to be, "Last in war, last in peace, last in the hearts of his countrymen."
 We are brothers not only to all who live, but to all who have gone before and to all who may come after.
 We're almost half way between 40 and 50-that's all. In our boyhood we saw the first telephone. In our twen- ties we were one of six reporters as- signed to write three pages about the appearance of the first horseless car riage, running around city block at the terrific speed of IF miles an hour. Our early movies were kinetoscope cards turning over in a slot machine, and our photograph had ear-things to partly carry the sound for a nickel. We rode on the first electric street car in the world--in Appleton, Wis. We've seen Jules Verne's idea of aerial and submarine travel outdone by fact.
 Looking forward: Whoever lives ounkha,. rvx,o ,fo,. of a cau u%,,x.,y xx,s1l coo