davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Omaha daily bee., 1920-02-29

found that / can accomplish a sur
prising amount OF work while alone
in my office between 7 and 9 a. NJ.
before callers begin to arrive. These
early morning hours are the mos,
valuable OF the day. l am able to
study the law reports and look up
my citations and do other work
that may be in hand, with better re-
suits.
"And, you know, the morning
hours are the best for hard mental
application. At least, that is my
experience. I have formed this
habit and | find it works to fine ad.
vantage. The difference in my case
is. that get my beauty sleep be-
fore 7 4. m. retire comparatively
early. or whenever I begin to feel
that | am tired"
Mr.. Kennedy states that his
morning walks are the best health
promoters he could prescribe. He
is now anHiously waiting for the
spring time. He AYERS that the man
or woman who has not gone abroad
during the carly morning time OF
the spring months. has missed much
OF the joy of living. Usually he is
out at $50 a. m. during the spring
and summer and he knows what
Shakespeare meant when he wrote,
when the purple tints have kissed
the morn but newly"
He refers to walking as the grear
panacea of the human race and he
insists there is nothing Gust as
good ....
Omaha daily bee., 1920-02-29
And the Title of the Book
Was "The Hidden Spirits
On Turning the Last Leaf There Was Disclosed -
Ahem, Well, the Price Was $40 Cash With Order:
No Bootlegging, Explained the Agent, Because
You We're Buying Only Book-Only One to
Customer, But You Could Have lt>Rebound

the human mind, and chapter three,
tells you how much spirits is, is in
the book
Turned Last Page.
with that he turned the last page,
and, great guns, there was pint
of Old Yellowstone, bottled III
bond. 1t was neatly packed in a
space cut out of the book to fit the
bottle.
"'Now,' he went on to say, 'you
see I'm not bootlegging or selling
whisky. | am simply selling boot
but when you buy 4 book you get
one just like this. They can't pinch
me for bootlegging, because | am
only taking your order for a book,
and you are safe because you arc
only buying a book
II told him | would buy that
book. but he said it was his only
sample. and he was just taking or
ders.
"'Now you can sec why | only
sell one book to customer. o.
course. we don't object to you send
ing your hook to get rebound. The
price of the book is $40 cash with
the order. 1t will take about three
days for your book to reach you,
sign on The dotted line
With pleasant good Afternoons
the gent lett my Office, like he did
10 OF others, with that $40.
TO make long story short. the
book came, an exact duplicate of the
sample, but-well have a drink OF
tea, | never will get it rebound, any
w,,."
Omaha daily bee., 1920-02-29
''Lived Here All Your.
Life?" Asked Tom. "Not
YET" Replied the Yokel

Like all renegade travelling men.
Tom Collopy, youngest American
selling raincoats, shirts, garters,
coffee-colored ties, comical puzzles.
hair nets, erstwhile bustles and
other necessities mentioned by
Noah Webster, never misses d
chance to have spicy time in the
small towns.
He met his Waterloo one day.
however. he confesses. 1t was ar
Squires Junction. Ciderville. Mani"
River, or some such settlement in
western Nebraska. where Tom was
taken on a beet sugar railroad that
was slower than a drop in prices.
Several lights were visible in the
village. Tom was happy. looking
for good time. Passing one shack
in his search for constable or
hotel, he heard the ragged strains OF
a rundown photograph. That was
amusing, he said. Now and then
an automobile skidded around Dew
berry's corner. This appeared to be
the limit of excitement.
Lived here all your life!" he
asked jay-hawker.
Stranger Jay-hawker smiled curt
ly and replied:
WAL, not yit."
But" says Tom, vengefuliy,
they don't even ring the curfew in
that town for fear it'll waken every
one"
Omaha daily bee., 1920-02-29

A clever book agent, giving his
name as ]. F. Grove, and claiming
to represent the Bird Publishing
Co.. an eastern book house, arrived
in Omaha during the week with a
line of chatter that would do credit
to circus "spieler," not to say any
thing about the book which, accord
ing to story given out by an Oma-
han who purchased one, was good
enough to sell itself.
"The fellow came into my Office
late Tuesday afternoon" said the
Omahan, land opened up on me
with: I understand you are
strong prohibition manf'
II told him | wasn't SO strong
as he might imagine
Good he said, 1 am getting re-
cruits for anti-prohibition army
II told him hadn't thought Of
joining any kind Of an army. He
came back at me with: Well, aren't
you an American citizen? You sure
ly don't want your rights to lit
tie nip taken away from you for
good do your
~ asked him what that had to do
with the army. .-....
ooh! that's just my way OF ap-
preaching a prospective customer
he replied. Now if you will give
me minute of your time will en-
plain this book to you
Good night! A book agent.
!. "The Hidden Spirits"
"'The title OF this book, he went
on to explain, as he placed the book
on the table in front of me, was
The Hidden Spirits Sounds III
teresting, doesn't it?'
"'You lean see it is beautiful
book, bound in leather he said, we
only sell one of these books to a
customer, as will explain later
"You are darned lucky if you sell
one to customer | replied, you
couldn't give me one.
THAT puts me in mind of say
ing he came back, he who never
investigates never knows. This is
a time when it will pay you to in
vestigate. Why, man, here is enough
evidence to convict any person that
this book is all I claim it to be-
with that he drew a bunch OF
orders from his pocket. / should
judge there were 80 of them.
Now, then, in chapter one he
said, the book tells you all about
the kind of spirits. Chapter two,
tells you the effect Of the spirit on
Omaha daily bee., 1920-02-29
LeffingwelPs Belief In Fair
Play Proves to Be Boomerang
Thinks the Family Should Show World What 1t
Means, But Gets "Jolt" When Wife Comments on
Munificent $3.50 Allowance for Spring Hat.

her observe Song Week. Mrs. LEI
fngwell was thinking of the time
when Leffingwell brought a garter
snake home for a pet and she made
him walk two miles to the river with
the creature.
Il have been wondering how
many of the Leffingwells know what
fair play means?" Leffingwell began,
drawing mental bead on his family
circle. II have decided that the
Leffifingwells are going to step out
and show the neighbors just what
it means to be fair, to be reason
able, and sane and safe. We must
play the game according to the rules
whether it be in our relations as
neighbors, in business, or in any
activity of life"
''Say, Pa, do you think you would
know fair ball if you saw one
coming" Willie asked, noting a
frown on his mothers face.
Would Apply Golden Rule.
"Much of our trouble is caused by
disregard of fair play" Sir Henry
continued. "The simple application
of the golden rule is all that is nee
essary to make this old world kind"
Mrs. Leffingwell was beginning
to believe that Henry needed an ap-
plication of something that would
extract some of the conceit from his
system.
Henry Lefingwell, I am think
ing" she replied, "that you. should
study up the rules a bit yourself.
The rules have been revised since
you learned that it was fair play to
eat three pieces of apple pie and
then blame your wife for feeding
you ripe olives, when you became
i'll. I don't think it is fair play to
give me $3.50 for new spring hat,
when you know that a picture of a
new hat costs that much. Henry,
you lack imagination. 1t is impos-
sible for one to be fair unless he
has some imagination in his sys-
TEN. I will give you one more
chance"
Maybe pa is like the girl who
never had chance?" Willie ex-
claimed.
"Well, Mrs. Leffingwell, l may
Just as we'll let you believe you are
right" Henry replied in conclusion.
Omaha daily bee., 1920-02-29
BY EDWARD BLACK.

\ DO you wish to hear some
news?"" asked Mrs. What's-Her-
Name, as she bounded over to the
Leffingwell sunken gardens like
debutante skidding to spring mill
linery opening.
Mrs. Lefingwe1l had been going
over her pantry stock, to determine
whether weevils had infested her
oatmeal, or whether Leffingwell had
surreptitiously sampled her last
glass of loganberry jam, which she
had been saving to send to a neigh
Dor woman who had befriended her
during time when Leffingwell was
indisposed from the effects of eating
ripe olives, as he believed, but which
she Insisted was caused by eating
three Sslices of apple pie. She app
prcciated the compliment which he
had paid to her pastry, but she
deprecated his tendency to be guided
by his eyes rather than his con-
science when consuming food.
Signs on the Sahara.
Mrs. Leffingwell gave heed to the
inquiry of her neighbor, thinking
that perhaps she had heard that Sir
Oliver Lodges geometrical signs on
the Sahara desert had been recog-
nized by the inhabitants of Mars, or
that W. ]. Bryan had been invited to
dine with Governor Edwards of
New Jersey.
Il must tell you something" the
neighbor added. Il just couldn't
wait any longer. | wanted to tell
you that don't like Mrs. So-and-
So, but I don't think she knows it.
You won't tell her, will you? You
know, the other day, at the Ladies
Aid society. she almost kissed me,
and told me how glad she was to
see me and hoped that / would visit
ner before long and see her new
casserole. She told me how young
Tx was looking. Well, yesterday
afternoon, when I met her at the
grocery store and she had a basket
of provisions, she ignored me en-
tirely. She acted as if she were
ashamed TO be seen carrying a
basket, or maybe she left her false
teeth. at home and was afraid l
would talk to her. I don't care, any
way, I know something about her,
and | don't believe that she knows
that I know it. She makes her hus-
band wash the dishes every evening
and she believes in the Ouija board"
Would Give Henry a Job.
Mrs. Leffingwell replied that she
believed this would be a better
world if more husbands would as
sist once in a while at home, and
she expressed the wish that her
Henry would show signs OF help
fulness now and then.
I'll believe my cat is on the kitchen
table, so I must be going" the
caller said, as she disappeared.
Henry Leffingwell. the irreeoncil-
able, came upon the scene and at
once gave evidence of a desire to
promote some of his pet propa-
sanda. Willie was in the parlor,
frying to locate Iron county, Mich
igan on his map. Mary was won
sfiak whether hsr dad would help
--.ls7ss
Omaha daily bee., 1920-02-29
The Cannibal Queen.

Oh, the cannibal queen
IS lady, | wean,
Who must live in a state Of con
tent.
She is free from the wiles
OF fashion and styles,
And doesn't depend on some gen,
OF the tight-fashioned way
Who has plenty to say
On the subject of money that
spent.
She can wear what she likes
When she goes on her hikes
And no one dares utter word,
Though her gown is passe
Or is gaudy and gay,
And her hat thing quite absurd
They have got to admit,
There is no doubt of it.
That their monarch is surely {:
bird.
Omaha daily bee., 1920-02-29

Dodge streets to stare, open
mouthed, at the imposing Union Pa
cihc headquarters building.
Suddenly, with roar and cloud
Of smoke an engine with three
empty fiat cars whirled past on its
way up Dodge street to where the
street is being graded.
why Henryl" exclaimed the girl,
I'VE are in the railroad yards, lets
CO."
"Oh, guess not" began Henry
bravely, when shower of hot Gin
ders descended, several lodging in
his fur coat.
"By, heck, believe your right"
exclaimed Henry. Lets CO."
The two young people ran south
on Fifteenth street for fully two
blocks before pausing, according to-
A. ]. .Wintersteen, of the Consoli-
dated railway ticket Office, vino wit,
nessed the event
Omaha daily bee., 1920-02-29

This is the week when the bright
young automobile statesmen work
their "Tuxes" every night at the
big show in the Auditorium. The
laundry and cleaning bills will be
something terrific.
There they will be, standing in
the midst of their shining cars, each
telling folks why his particular car
is better than most of the others.
(, However, they're gentlemen, these
auto spielers, and they'll always ad-
NIT that other cars have their good
points"
The sophisticated will be there.
Also many husband will be
dragged thither by his wife as the
final gun OF her campaign to get
him to buy their first car.
!, Like to Hold the Wheel.
"I've driycns four 'Flapdoodles'
and never had a bit of trouble"
says the sophisticated gentleman.
Before that I had a 'Collapsible,'
and ] was having trouble all the
time"
The newcomers to the realms of
automobiliana like to sit in cars and
hold the steering wheel. You can
see wives sitting in the drivers seat
any time of the day and the sales
man talking to Friend Husband.
Friend Husband has worried look
on his face. He is slipping, slip
ping. Next June he'll! be fiend,
driving his new benzine buggy and
talking the automobile language.
Not so long ago, when a salesman
sold car, he took a week off to
brag about it. Now they sell 'enl
by the dozen. They use sales slips
like the girls at the notion counters.
There'il be little autos and big
Omaha daily bee., 1920-02-29
Somebody Got Her
Goat, and She Wants
Police to Recover Il

Somebody's got my goat" said
a voice of a woman over the tele-
phone at the South Side police sta
ton to Detective Harry Buford. Aft
er the detective got through laugh
ing he learned that the goat in ques-
ttion was nanny" and a good one,
and that the owner was Mrs. ]. w.
Lowry, 3946 U street. She implored
the police to recover her nanny as
soon as possible, as it was family
pet.
Captain of Police John Briggs is
sued special order to all patrol
men to make a determined effort to
cath up" with the lost nanny
Omaha daily bee., 1920-02-29
SEVEN.

1t seems to US that
Number seven is a word
To conjure with.
We are aware that trolley ride
Sets US, back seven cents;
That there were seven wise men
And that seven days .
Make one week.
Our books do tell US
OF seven seas and .lt
That seven-eleven is game
OF chance.
And the lucky seventh
Is the inning when we root
For the home team
That it may win
And bring home the bacon
At any price. a
"The seven champions OF Chris
tendon"
They work six days.
And on the seventh, rest.
50 does the ice man, s. .-
f.. These days. .r
There are 81 varieties OF
The He. of L. '....
Are in the city hall.
Well say SO. '....r
And so will you.
So say we all of us.
Seven Keys to Baidpate,"
Is the name of the play,
That came this way,
Some time ago, -''.-
And may come again, .
The seventh heaven .g-
Is the place where
A girl imagines she is
When she's engaged.
The seventh daughter
OF the seventh daughter
Is the girl with
An evil eye and
An occult mind.
We are at skies and sevens,
So we will call it day,
And think of something else
To write about
Next week
Omaha daily bee., 1920-02-29
ATTEMPT IS MADE TO
BLAckEN REPUTATION
OF GENERAL S1INeER
Political Enemies Get Out Va
grancy Complaint-General
Makes Spirited Answer.

A shameful attempt to injure the
reputation OF General A. Singer,
editor of The Bundle Bee, and to
interfere with his campaign for the
presidency OF the United States,
was made last week, when an al
legged "Vagrancy Complaint" was
served upon him.
1T is a frame-up,' declared Cen
eral Singer. 'The fact that l am
at liberty proves that it is a frame
up. have not been arrested at all,
recently.
Work Of Enemies.
"My political enemies, panic
stricken because of the way my cam
paign is sweeping the country, have
resorted to this means of trying to
injure me. But they will fail utterly
and completely. The people are
with me-"
The scurrilous attack upon Gen
eral Singer reads as follows:
'The State Of Nebraska VS..
A. Singer, Weekly Bundle Bee,
Omaha, Nebraska.
"For Vagrancy. The complaint
and information of James A.
Shanahan, made before the
magistrate OF the police court.
within and for the City of
Omaha in said county, this 18th
day of February, A. D., 1920,
who says that A. Singer. de-
PENDANT, on or about the 18th
day of February, A. D., 1920. in
the county aforesaid and within
the corporate limits of the City
of Omaha, aforesaid, then and
there being, was then I'M
lawfully an idle person, not
having visible means of support
and maintenance, and living
without employment, and wan
dering abroad and living in
taverns, beer houses. sheds,
barns and open air, and cannot
give a good account of himself,
and is suspicious character,
contrary to the ordinances of
the City of Omaha, and the
Omaha daily bee., 1920-02-29
Stranger Played the
Street Car Box for
Nickel Slot Machine

Here is what happened on one
of the street cars from the stock
yards as told by conductor:
A farmer got on at Twenty
fourth and N street, South Side,
the car and rear platform being al
ready crowded.
Gimme some tickets" he said,
handing quarter to the conductor,
who in turn gave him four shining
checks. with the request to drop one
in the box, which the stranger did.
Then the conductor turned the lit
tie crank and reached down and
drew from the box handful of
checks, nickels and pennies. To his
astoniebmsat the stranger aAked.
Omaha daily bee., 1920-02-29

handsome statesmen, lovely ladies,
enhancing music. La, la.
Get the old bank roll out OF the
sock and start treating your family
right. Even the most expensive cars
are cheap in the long run. The up
keep is practically nothing, they
travel 10000 to 10000 miles on a
set of tires because of the patented
feature OF the rear springs). they
will easily do S. miles on a gallon
of gas, this being due to the re-
versible carburetor. Ask the sales
man.
Omaha daily bee., 1920-02-29

lord telling the joys of an apart
ment house to bird who lives so
far out that the owls elope with his
guinea hens.
In the old days horse and buggy
was considered luxury, hut since
the auto blight struck the country
they are almost as extinct as the
derby. First thing we know they
will be stamping 'en1 on pennies to
preserve their memory.
A few chaps have flown so high
Omaha daily bee., 1920-02-29

"how much did ! VIM" The con-
ductor, thinking the man joking,
said: "Oh, about two dollars"
The stranger said: We'll, it's the
first time in my life l ever won
anything in one of those blame slot
machines. I'll just play the thing
three more times and with that he
slipped his three remaining checks
in The box,
Omaha daily bee., 1920-02-29
And What Do They Cost in Omaha7
(Blue Hill Leader.)

Here. is a true story relative
to the hen industry. It shows
what man can do with bunch
OF hens. How any man can
move to town and make every
dollar Of his living expense.
even after advancing years have
untitled him for manual labor.
We refer to the record George
Martins hens have made the
rast II months. 25,216 eggs
were laid by those industrious
hens OF his in 1919. He kept
tie exact record month by
month. Mr.. Martin purchased
S117 worth of feed and sold
sl04.Is. worth of poultry. At 40
celts per dozen the receipts
from eggs would amount to
more than $500 for the year. or
about $40 per, month, sum
sufficient to keep any aged cou-
pie, even in these times OF high
prices.
Omaha daily bee., 1920-02-29

autos. Some are not as large as
they look in the pictures. In the
pictures they all have wheel bases
of at least 20 feet and they are al
ways filled with swell-looking girls
and immaculately-dressed gentlemen
who have evidently just come from
dinner at the Ritz.
Honest, but Biased.
Most of the statesmen are honest,
but naturally biased, like land
Omaha daily bee., 1920-02-29
Thought They Were in
Railroad Yards When
Grading Engine Ran By

a girl, carrying a shiny new suit
case and a young man, wearing a
broad brimmed, white felt hat and
heavy fur overcoat, walked slowly
north, on Fifteenth street.
They paused at Fifteenth and
Omaha daily bee., 1920-02-29

Of the famous old one-wheel push
mobile which was so popular among
the men in the army and cleverly
depicted, in the southwest illustra-
ton. ..a- ... #
Our fathers used to burn up the
road and sometimes crack their
beans, riding contrivance consist
ing of big wheel and a baby
wheel. Men must have been brave
in those days. ..
Ask the Salesman.
It's going to be gay, old week,
folks, with beautiful automobiles,
Omaha daily bee., 1920-02-29

that the auto is thing OF the past
TO them, just like the kaiser's scheme
Of "Mittel Europa"
One of the big arguments today
for a chug chariot is that, with
shoes at $50 pair, it's cheaper to
drive a car than walk.
Page the Doughboy.
Just a moment, please, to take
on more "gas." All ready
Speaking OF vehicles, reminds US
Omaha daily bee., 1920-02-29
Ever See Robin Play Marbles1

II saw robin and a group Of
small boys playing marbles" one OF
our citizens is reported to have said,
commenting upon the near approach
of the we'll known spring.
Omaha daily bee., 1920-02-29

"Ars you at all familiar with Shelley"
he asked.
IT should say not she Indignantly re-
u,ied "I reyer have been familiar with
any young man In my life and don't
even knew this person you speak o.
London Tit.Bits.r 20,
Omaha daily bee., 1920-02-29
abpm6l6 a46esRn2zZings

more extensive scale hereafter.
AS Muskrat skins are now
quoted from $500 to $3.50, we
look to see Mr.. Harris make
quite snug little sum before
the season ends, as he always
makes success of whatever he
enters into. He has lately been
engaged in making Bee Hives.
MAKING IT PLAIN.
Sign on the door of the Firestone
Tire and Rubber company Office
Twenty-sixth and Farnam streets;
WE CLOSE AT $50 P. NJ. EVE
NINGS."
Omaha daily bee., 1920-02-29
FORM.

"What is life to high school boy
without a leather coat?" we inquired
a while ago. Answer is, Gust about
as much as life is to movie hero
without a gray tweed suit"
Omaha daily bee., 1920-02-29
HIVES AND HIDES.

Mr.. VIM. Harris, one of Our
noted townsmen, intends to go
into the trapping business on a
Omaha daily bee., 1920-02-29
Some in Omaha, Too.

Ever notice what funny names
law firms have? Here is Mayer,
Meyer, Austrian & Plat of Chi
cago.
Omaha daily bee., 1920-02-29
HE'S AN ADVERTISER.

C. G. Defines was in Omaha
last week attending a Clothier's
convention. c. G. is one of our
most progressive and enterpris-
ing merchants and believes in
being up to date, hence he
passes up no chances to keep
in touch witt, the advanced
methods Of business. c. G. is
constantly looking out for the
interest Of his customers.
Omaha daily bee., 1920-02-29
Hope Harry Can Cook.

3oincryS
palmer JournaL
Mrs. Killian and Miss Hunt
are boarding at Harry Mont
Omaha daily bee., 1920-02-29

form of such statutea in such
cases made and provided, and
against the peace and dignity of
the State of Nebraska.
JAS A. SHANAHAN."
Il know who this fellow, Shana-
han u.s." said Clarence Small Nickel,
manager of General Singers cam
paign for the presidency. "He is a
former police reporter, and our de-
tectives are now at work to show
him up. ! may have something I'M
portant to give out soon.
General Not Arrested.
Furthermore, will say that Cen
eral Singer does not live in 'tav-
erns, beer houses, sheds, barns and
open air. His apartments are in
an East Douglas street hotel. And
he has not been arrested this year,
as the records of the police and
other courts will readily show"
Indignation was expressed by sew
eral prominent supporters Of Cen
eral Singers candidacy at this at
tempt to blacken his reputation.
A Shredded Wednesday.
(Rosevale Items in Ericsson Journal.)
Bert Dye shredded Wednes-
dav.
Omaha daily bee., 1920-02-29
SUPERIORITY,
"COSEY LUNCH," says sign at
Twentieth and Cunning streets.

BY the way. isn't it funny how ST.
perior we feel just because we know
how to spell cosy?