South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1920-06-13
BORAH HEAVES
LARGE WRENCH
IN MACHINERY
Idaho Senator Makes a Self
Stopper Out of the Wood
Machine.
BY JAMES j. MONTAGUE.
lNews-Tlmes Correspondantl

CHICAGO, June 12.-It was mid
night. in the corridors Of the Con-
gress all was still save for a slight
disturbance made by couple OF
bands and six glee clubs. Most OF
the delegates sought slumber, but in
vain. such was the nervous ten
sion that they could not have found
the slumber they sought with a
drove of bloodhounds.
However comparatively speaking
all was quiet Then a door swung
open in a passageway, out of it
stepped Hon. William Z. Borah. U.
s. senator of Idaho. His Irene
Castle locks rustled in the light
breeze His face was stern and set
in his hand he held a large monkey
wrench.
Gums The Works
Advancing swiftly down the cor
ridor he reached the wood ma
chine, buzzing as merrily as a paper
pulp mill, and 10 that time as pros
perously. over the machine the
Idaho statesman stretched forth
his hand and lightly dropped the
monkey wrench into the whirring
gears, there was a sound Of rending
and tearing. a smell of hot metal,
and a sudden cessation of operation
in the interior OF the machine.
Which Is a way OF saying that
Hon. william L. Borah had an
nounced that II Wood or Lowden
for that matter, were nominated he,
William +. Borah, would emit
howl that could be heard in his
dear little home in the west, and
then and there quit the party.
Monkey WrenchcS Fly.
Well, that started things. In 10
minutes every statesman gathered
was hurrying to and fro in search OF
monkey wrenches. Monkey wren
ches were flying in the air all
through the long hot night. and
landing with loud crashes In
smoothly running machines.
From the Hotel Blackstone. Sen.
Johnson shot a monkey wrench into
the air which described neat para
bola and lit into the mechanism OF
the Lowden self starter, converting
ii on the instant into self stopper.
Other monkey wrenches from
many hostile quarters landed in the
Johnson machinery. Nobody es-
capped. AS fast as a new boom was
launched. bam-a monkey wrench
flattened IL out like a pancake.
This engaging game occupied the
entire night 1t did not proceed
without bitterness and rancor. either
when you have a nice little machine
that is going 10 pile up delegates
like a hoe press piles up newspa-
pers. you don't care for the fellow
that inserts a monkey wrench be-
tween the wheels.
Ugly Memories.
The delegates are going away
from here with memories which
may not help humanity much in the
by and by.
Hot weather and lack direction
did most OF It, The ancient division
over standpattism and progress IN
the party did the rest. 1t hasn't
been a love feast this convention.
Maybe the bruises suffered by In
nocent bystanders miS-directed
monkey Wrenches Will heal, maybe
again the result will make the cleo
ton safe for democracy.
Anyway all the forward looking
men are looking backward with
mean looks and n lot OF them are
mad clear through.
The man who said this convention
had been mismanaged was more
conservative in his statement than
the man who said that Jesse James
was afflicted with moral strabismus.
I don't want 10 be PARTISAN and
I'm not. but IL I were the sole pro-
prietor OF the republican party I'd
begin looking around for a new set
OF hands to run the machinery.