The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1920-12-30

worthy, "and for that reason / think
the old times were better than the
present. | only wish the old condi-
lions could be restored. A hundred
years ago the married man had no
reason to dread the poorhouse. Ii
was practically impossible for women
to be eXtravagant then. If they want
ed to blow themselves they had to 90
to town. and in order to get to town
they had to ride in old coaches which
weren't as comfortable as modern
hayrack
"The woman of hundred years ago
couldn't lean back in an easy chair
and order a hundred dollars worth Of
junk by phone. If she ordered by
letter, 1t took the letter three weeks
to get anywhere, and by the time the
goods arrived they We're out of date,
and she had to send them back. 1t
would be great blessing if things
were that way now.
But the modern married woman
has the softest snap ever invented,
Mrs. Jamesworthy. If she happens to
be too lazy to put on her brass-mount-
ed harness and go downtown to do her
shopping, she has that great modern
convenience at her elbow. 1t isn't
necessary to make herself presentable
to do her shopping. She sits down
with an old wrapper on, and her top
knot askew, and her mouth full Of
hairplns, and calls up the butcher and
baker and candlestick maker, and or
ders everything they have in their
joints, and has it charged to her hUs-
band.
"As your Sway-backed professor
said, short journey was a serious
business in the old days, and az re-
suit people stayed home and attended
to their knitting. If woman jour
neyed nine miles in one of the old
time coaches she had a backache for
three weeks, and so the idea of going
away from home didn't fill her with
enthusiasm. But nowadays travelling
Is luxury. All a woman has TO do
Is to hold up her husband for the fare.
and then the urbane railway people
do the rest, and make everything 80
comfortable for her that she hates the
idea of ever returning home. And be-
cause of this luxury, women are for
ever hunting up excuses for a trip
somewhere. kersmlth told me the
other day that his wife Travelled three
hundred miles and back to match a
ribbon, the local stores not having the
exact shade she wanted. Kersmith is
Just about three cubits ahead Of the
sheriff, and his wife knows it, but she
wouldn't let a small matter like that
Interfere with her trip.
"In the halcyon days people used TO
tallow candles and were all the better
for it. There was no satisfaction in
reading by a candle, so men didn't
blow in their substance for fool books
and magazines. The candles kicked
up such a smell that they were extin-
guished as early as possible, and so
no money was wasted. Now we have
the electric light, which is q great con-
vcnience 1t Is such laundering con-
venience, Mrs. JameswOrthy, that 1t IS
greasng the road TO the poorhouse for
innumerable heartsick husbands. The
average citizen finds 1t impossible to
convince his wife and daughters and
other female relatives that the electric
juice costs money, and so his home Is
Illuminated from basement to garnet
every night. Few women remember to
turn off the light after having 1t turn
ed on. If l drop dead of heart failure
one of these days, it will be when look
ing over the electric light bill. In the
old days"
"Oh, bother the old days, and the
young days, and the middle-ageh
days." cried Mrs. Jamesworthy.