davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-10-07
RIPPING RHYMES
RIP RHYMES >. . :. :. d-h.. {.
HOISE DE HAPSRIRG
BY Walt Mason.

RIP RHYMES :. &. . .. :. d-h.. =.
HOUSE OF HAPsBURG
The princes of the Hapsburg line
in camp and court now cut no ice;
they have to fast while others dine,
their ~stand-off's bad, they lack the
price. Some eighty duchesses and
dukes now stand around with frigid
feet; their titles now seem empty
flukes since they can't get enough
to eat. They send to us the warning
cry. from roofless castles where they
Turk, UNLESS the ave bring us
pie, we gravely fear we'll have to
work" With noble courage thus
they face a future fraught with
dread and fears, these scions of a
kingly race that loafed for quite a
thousand years. Far better face the
beadsman's ak than be a laundress
or a clerk. but proudly they'll get
down to lacks, and If they must,
why, they will work. Their land
marks forever gone, their world is
jostled upside down, and some cheap
uncle has in pawn the jeweled scep-
tire and the crown. Too proud to
seek the craven's doom by mean of
rope or gun or dirk, they cry, amid
the encircling gloom, Just lead us
to the honest work" And IL for
honest work they look. they will not
need to travel far: I'd take a Ouch
ess as my cook, and hire a duke to
run my car.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-10-07
GREATER THAN ALL

Reputation is a financial asset and
moral liability.
1t is a financial asset. 1t increases
the gate receipts for one to have a
reputation. 1t guarantees a bigger
audience. 1t hypnotizes the crowd.
A man multiplies his market value
al he adds to his reputation. He
may have the same line of goods to
offer, but they are more in demand,
and pay piles up as demand grows.
But reputation Is also a moral liza
bility. 1t must be lived up to. More
is expected of it. 1t drives with a
pitiless lash. The easy-going days
are gone. One must never have a
stale hour. He is always on exhibit
ton. He must continually be at
concert pitch. Genius is never al
lowed to relax.
This is why so many big men have
a nervous breakdown. They are not
doing more work than common NOR
tails. They are merely trying to
maintain a reputation. They live at
high tension. The nervous strain is
incessant. The collapse is the price
that must be paid.
1t is not as gratifying, but 1t is
far more comfortable. to be a no.
body: to be able to walk the street
and not have people point at you:
to board a railroad train and not at
tract attention: to get off dress pa
rade and make yourself comfortable:
to enter a hotel dining room and not
be rubber-necked: 20 go anywhere
you want to and do as you blooming
please.
And so while the gate receipts
may be larger as ones reputation
grows, there r compensations in
obscurity. Men of sawdust brains
mistake notoriety for reputation;
but reputation takes time. while no.
toriety is sudden. Notoriety can get
a crowd, but it takes reputation to
hold it. A reputation must be built
up. but not notoriety is spontaneous
combustion. A reputation is built on
brains and merit, but a fool may be
notorious.
Notoriety mistakes a cartoon for
fame and a headline for greatness.
1t deals in mock heroics. 1t is a
cheap counterfeit, and deceives only
the stupid.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-10-07
Described In 1915
The Present League of Nations
BY PROFESSOR IRVING FISHER, of Yale University

that: 1.-THE nations should agree on
certain rights which should not be
questioned, such as territorial integ-
rity. All should guarantee each
of their number in the possession of
these rights. > They should fur
thermore agree, not only to abide.
each of them, by the decision of the
court, but all of them to unite, with
their military forces, to enforce the
decree of the court as against any
recalcitrant member. Under these
circumstances it would be impossi-
BILE TO agree on a limitation of arm
aments that would be real and effec-
tive. = . 1t would be impossible to
say that such an agreement would
at once and permanently stop war.
but it would mark an important ad-
vance 1t would certainly mean that
the chances of war were minimized,
. . for it will mean that at last a
long stride has been taken in the
efforts to put the collective strength
of civilized mankind behind the COL
lective purpose of mankind to Sc
cure the peace of righteousness, the
peace of justice, among the nations
of the earth"
Could a prophet have described
better, five years before it was born,
the League of Nations as 1t is, in
Guiding Article X?
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-10-07

"a womans fondcst hope is to stay young. She often resorts
to paints, powders and cosmetics to hide her years. Some women
pay large sums to so-called "Beauty Doctors" in the belief that
money will buy youth. Others wear girish dresses, thinking they
can fool the world about their age. But no one is deceived. The
more you try to hide your age, the more it shows.
There Is but one thing that holds old age back, and that is
health. Sickness and weakness bring old age early in life. DR..
Pierces Favorite Prescription is a buldingup medicine for
women. 1t makes them healthy and strong when they suffer from
womens troubles. 1t keeps them looking young by keeping them
well. 1t S a womans tonic for the frail, the delicate and those
who are nervous, dizzy and who have backache and dragging down
pains. Some women took it years ago and have felt young and
well ever since. DIR. Pierces Favorite Prescription is altogether
vegetable and without a particle of alcohol. 1t is safe to take.
Try 1T mow. In tablet or liquid form at all druggists, or send Zoe
for trial package of the tablets to DR.. Pierce1s Invalids' Hotel in
Buffalo, n. Y.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-10-07
AMERICANISM

sAmericanism doesn't mean to
Hiram johnson what it means to
Taft. Nor does it mean to Woodrow
Wilson what 1t means to Watson Of
Georgia. To Watson, a Democrat,
and johnson. a Republican. Ameri-
canism means isolation Of the pre-
war variety. national ~selfshness,
blindness to world needs and world
sufferings. To Wilson and Taft it
means participation In the League
II Nations.
President Wilson, in his appeal to
he people in support Of the League
IF Nations. insists the A~mericanism
,e isolation hue isn't Americanism
u all. He say that brand of Amer
Icanism is but standing apart and
watching for opportunities TO ad-
rance American interests. involving
Americans in no responsibility to
he maintenance OF the right in the
world or for the continued vindica-
ion Of any of the things for which
America entered the war to fight.
The johnson Watson brand of
Americanism reminds n of the
Did man who used to pray "for me,
my wife. my son John and his wife:
us four and nc more" It is the last
lord in national selishnes. and is
not to be disguised by labelling ii
"folation."
The creators of this government,
Wilson points out. Thought OF
America as the light of the world
as created to lead the world in the
assertion OF the rights of the peo-
pies and the rights Of free nations;
- destined to set a responsible ex'
ample to ali the world Of what q
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-10-07
DAILY HOROSCOPE
Thursday, October Z, 1920
Copyright. 1920. by the McClur,
Newspaper Syndicate)

Copyright. 1920. by the Mcclure
Newspaper Syndicate)
Astrologers read this as a fortu-
nate day. The Sun, Mars and Jupi-
ter are all in benefc aspect. Uranus
is strongly adverse.
All the stars that govern action
are friendly today. 1t is a rule un-
DEF which to use ones full ener-
gies. working with optimistic spirit
and therefore with the confidence
that always succeeds.
Officials and all who hope to hold
public Office should profit by today's
aspects which make for public ac-
claim and the approval of the co.
pie.
1t is a sway under which to be-
speak support or aid. since the stars
during this ~configuration are sup
posed to make men who WELD pow
er more inclined to help others than
they are in their usual frame of
mind.
Jupiter gives promise to all who
take the initiative. 1t is a favora-
BILE time for starting any new policy
or trying any novel plan.
Whatever is constructive and pro-
gressive should benefit by this rule
Of the stars, which strengthens all
who build for future achievement.
Soldiers and all who belong to big
organizations should benefit by the
planetary government today. There
is a sign that seems to indicate the
best results from mass action of any
sort.
Surgeons and physicians are SUBJ
ject to a direction that brings profit
to them, but BODIES i'll for the health
of the people.
Uranus is again in an aspect en-
~couraging to intrigue and deception.
Women r warned that they may
be peculiarly susceptible to the in
fuences of the planet in its most
unfriendly rule.
Lawyers have the forecast of a
year of extraordinary activity and
profit. Women will partake largely
of the benefits supposed to result
from the planetary government.
New fads of various sorts will be
introduced in the coming weeks.
While these will not supplant the
psychic mania they will partake of
the occult but will pretend to con-
slider all problems scientifically.
Although it is forecast that the
human mind will be keener than
ever before. the prevalence Of I'M
truthfulness will seem to contradict
the idea that thoughts may be read.
Persons whose birthdate it is
have the forecast of a busy year
which will be exceedingly prosper
Gus. Those who are employed prob
ably will be promoted.
Children born on this day may be
quick-tempered and sensitive, but
industrious and successful.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-10-07
Luke Il Says

A man never likes to his
Wealth with his wife the way he
likes to share his Poverty with her.
A Philosopher is a a who, when
he gets in bad. prepares to receive
$2,000,000 worth Of Advice and two
cents worth of Assistance. But a
Fool Is a man who expects that the
ratio will be reversed.
Another Damli: Once upon a time
there was a wife who didn't think
that she could run the house nicely
on the money that her husband
spent f%oolishly.
Skirts are being worn longer. But
that doesn't mean that they won't
get new ones as often as they did
when they wore EN- shorter.
Any man can be popular If he
wants to be. All he has to do is let
the Other Fellow do the talking and
then agree with him.
The June Bride who expected mar
ried life to be a long round of Roses
has discovered that 1t is a long round
of Liver and Onions.
We are all willing to supply the
Theories If the Other Fellow will put
them into Practice.
Why is it that a man never acts
proud over the eighth baby the way
he did over the first baby?
AS between the two evils we don't
know but that we prefer h Knock
er TO the bird who always has a hne
of mushy flattery.
A woman has to have a cakey-
looking shape before other women
will admit that it is natural.
After a woman gets SO she wears
stout sizes in stockings she doesn't
rely on her corset supporter. she
ties a piece of rag around her leg
under each knee.
When "a man Is accused OF ome
thing people usually make up their
minds that he is guilty and then they
listen to the evidence.
Why don't the Holy Joes compel
Congress to push a Twentieth Amend
ment prohibiting the manufacture.
sale, import. export or use OF any
thing but Upright pianos?
If some men give nine cents to
Charity they sulk and resolve to quit
Doing Good If they do not get $780,
600, 900 worth of praise and advertis-
ing.
In spite of the fact that she can
vote and hold Office you can't make
a woman understand why she should
not get a reduction when she buys
a dozen postage stamps at one time.
Bella Achin lives in Gatesville,
Texas.
So far we haven't heard of anyone
being arrested for profiteering in
Castor Oil.
When congress isn't doing any,
thing else 1t might adopt a resolu-
ton prohibiting fhe culture. sale or
use of Garlic in this country.
The Anti Everything Leagues idea
of a good town is one in which there
are more Graveyards than there are
Places of Amusement.
Another reason why a fat woman
hates to get or the scales Is because
The big clumsy REINFORCED corset
she Is wearing weighs FIVE or six
pounds
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-10-07

The EVENING NEWS considers the League of Nations
not a partisan political issue. The fact that republicans like
Taft and Wickersham ardently favor the league means that
many other Republicans feel likewise. On the other hand the
opposition by Democratic senator's, such as Shields, and Reed,
means that they, too, have their following and It's in the ranks
of the Democratic party.
The matter of the United States joining the league, the
EVENING NEWS holds Of such transcendant Importance, that
it resumes herewith its campaign of last year for this agree
ment designed to abolish all wars by providing for:
1. Universal disarmament;
2. Abolition Of secret treaties;
3. international arbitration and
f. Acceptance of obligation not to go to war.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-10-07
90
A WORTHY CANDIDATE

While the matter Of slecting a
senator in Essex county is an affair
hat directly C the people of
hat county, it indirectly affects the
people of the whole state because
once the senator 10 elected the situa-
ton Is reversed; his conduct in
once then becomes the affair of the
whole state and only indirectly the
AFFAIR Of the single county that
elected him.
For this reason We ind much
satisfaction in the sucoe of Will
liam M. Parry at the recent Repub-
lean primary in Essex county. Mr..
Parry vas a candidate for the Re-
publican nomination for state
senator in Essex. He was opposed
by the Republican machine" there,
but so were a great many others.
IN fact, so bitter is the opposition
% the Republican regular" organ
ination IN Essex that the better type
q citizens have organized the Re-
publican League and. at the recen
primaries. this league had a ticket
In the field opposing the machine
ticket. Mr.. Parry was one of the
Republican League candidates.
The first announcement after the
primary election was that the Essex
q. o. p. machine" had won the vic
tory. The Official count. however,
shows that the league candidates
have won eight places on the Re-
publican ticket to the "machine's'
four. MI. Parry is one OF the eight.
The reason the whole state is in
terested in MI. Parry's success is
Mat he made his campaign largely
IN the issue of the state highways.
He is bitterly opposed to patent
saving materials that require closed
Specifications in giving put con-
Tracts. II elected. Mr.. Parry prom
ises to introduce q bill In the legis-
lature making it unlawful to have
closed specifications In public con-
:racts.
We would like to see Mr.. Parry
elected. For one thing, we would
like to see him elected because to
elect the Democratic candidate
Would be to renew the hold the un-
speakable Jim Nugent has at Tren-
ton. But more especially we would
Ike to see MI. Parry elected be-
cause he Is a high class. clean cut.
public spirited citizen-the very
type Of man we should have in
charge of public affairs
We cannot vote for Mr.. Parry
down here. neither have we any in
fuence that we know of in the
county where Mr.. Parry is a candi-
date. We can but hope that the
people OF Essex will have the good
dsnse to elect him so that the whole
safe may have his services during
the next three critical years when
road contracts by the millions are
to BE- given out and when an effort
Will be made to pile bond issue upon
hond issue.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-10-07

free government is and can do for
the maintenance of right standards,
both national and international"
In this light it requires quite a
stretch Of the Imagination to see
Americanism in selfish isolation.
doesn't It?
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-10-07

They classified the DRINKS arrested
in Washington, ID. c.. during the first
six months of this year with the fol-
results:
Whiskey DRINKS, 1908.
Flavoring extract DRINKS, 142.
Hair tonic DRINKS, 142.
Bay rum DRINKS, 1853.
Toilet water DRINKS. SO.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-10-07
OuinSy

VHH
Q. Please give me all the infor-
nation o a of the disease
known as quinsy, if there is such a
disease. l am getting where it is
hard for me to a on account of
not being able to swallow any food.
1t seems as if the passage in my
throat is closing up.
A. In quinsy there is an acute
Inflammation of the throat, result
ing in the formation of a sac of pus.
usually behind the tonsil. The con-
dition is readily relieved by opening
the sac and draining out the pus.
This, of course, can only be done nv
an experienced physician. From
your letter, however, it is not at all
clear that You are suffering from
quinsy. and I would urge You to
consult a physician at once to And
out the cause of your trouble.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-10-07

II wonder IL you could?" unused
the Rummy, as he put down a quar-
ter for a shot of bitters.
you wonder If you could what?"
demanded the Barkeep, as he sneak
ed a gun from behind the cash reg
lister.
why, 1 wonder IL you could refer
to an amateur piano player as a
pound party?" replied the Rummy,
as he headed for the door.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-10-07

He is a hero, that is true.
A Croix de Guerre they gave
To him and other medals, too,
Because he was so brave,
And yet he suffers constant woe,
And worries night and day. l
sooth,
Because he is afraid to go
And let a dentist pull his tooth.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-10-07
It's an III Wind.

Up-to-date statistics show that
Ijoy-riders r causing n death
every 80 minutes in this country.
And that's about as fast as the casket
makers can get the receptacles lined
and into the hands of the under
takers.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-10-07
High Art.

High Art.
There are works of art that have
brought sculptors fame
That have given painters a world
wide name:
But the work of art that catches my
eye
Is the lattic work on a cranberry pie.
Luke McLuke.
Musicians, also, have won lasting re-
nown;
And far be it from me to run geniuses
down;
But the popular music. I've often OBJ
served,
Often lies in these dulcet sounds,
Dinner is served"
Newark Advocate.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-10-07
She'll Want 1t Back.

To women's ways I am not blind,
And / know Mrs. Mallot
Is almost sure to change her mind
After she casts her ballot.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-10-07
Our Daily Special

Third Parties Cause Trouble Il
Matrimony AS Well As Politics.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-10-07

There is one bad thing about
riches" remarked the Parson.
That's right" agreed the Round
er. You mean their scarcity, don't
|you?"
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-10-07
Hicks.

Another Hick,
Is Mrs. Emplars;
She talks about:
The Knights of Templars."
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-10-07

Does that new ste~nographer dis
play any speed?" asked the Boss.
That's about all she has" replied
the Manager. she is good for 80
mistakes a minute"
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-10-07
Famous Halves.
Mercy!

Mercy!
Mary had a little car.
She learned to drive it well,
Until she ran into a telegraph pole
And busted it all to-pieces.
Tiny Mallory.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-10-07
icians, also, have won lasting re-
Signs Is Signs.

Sign on Cafe at Lima. Ohio:
I'VE Sell Good And Bad Cigars"
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-10-07
BITS OF BY-PLAY


When he's alone he walks
like this.
His strides are full of
But when he's walking with
a Miss,
Observation-Disclosures.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-10-07
/, Self Consciousness

Q. l would like to know if there
is any cur for a blotchy skin, as at
the least bit of excitement my face
goes red and blotchy, especially
about the eyes. 1t seems. to be a
steady thing every day about mid
day or at night, and is very annoy
ing to a young man.
A. You are probably entirely too
self-conscious. Perhaps you do not
get enough fresh air and exercise.
Why not join a local Y. NJ. C. A.
gymnasium class and get the benefit
of cold showers and the swimming
pool.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-10-07
HEALTH ADVICE


This is the season when oysters
again come largely into use. A word
of caution may, therefore, not be
out of place.
Oyster growers have found that
a large part of the public prefers
what is known as fat" oyster, and
this preference has accordingly been
met by the dealers by 'fattening"
the oysters after taking them from
the beds. This ~"fattening," how
ever. is not only a humbug, but con-
stitutes a source of danger.
AS a matter of fact, the process Is
not a "fattening'' one at all. 1t
consists in floating the oysters for
a time in brackish water. Having
grown in sea water, the oysters
when placed in brackish water, i e.,
water having a different specific
gravity, absorb water and become
plump and white. Their appearance
is improved.
Unfortunately. the brackish
streams in which the oysters are
Heated" are not infrequently pol
luted with sewage, and so it hap
pens that in this ~"fattening' pro-
cess the oysters take up considera-
Die amounts of polluted material:
especially fecal bacteria, including
the germs of typhoid fever.
THOSE who eat raw oysters will
do well not to express a preference
for. plump. white oysters. but to ask
rather for lean gray oysters, having
a good salty favor.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1920-11-09
BROODY HENS LAY NO EGGS
HOW TO BREAK THE HABIT

When hens become broody they
should be broken up as quickly as
possible. The sooner this is done, the
sooner they will resume laying. To
break a hen of brOodiness, she should
be confined to small coop raised
off the ground, preferably with Stat
bottom. Give her plenty of water to
drink; she may be fed or not, as
desired. Not much difference will be
found in the time required to break
her of broodiness, whether she is fed
or made to fast, say poultry special
lists Of the United States Department
of Agriculture.
Usually from 3 to days confine-
ment will break her, but some hens
require 10 to IL days. The broody
hen will be recognized by her incli-
nation to stay on the nest at night,
the ruffling Of her feathers and her
picking at anyone who approaches
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1920-11-09

KILLING AND DRESSING
CAPONS FOR MARKET

Capons selected for killing should
be confined for "a hours without feed
or water to empty their crops COM
pletely. The usual method OF killing
is known as the sticking method. The
fowl is hung up by the feet. the dead
held in the left hand, and the whole
body stretched to full length. The
mouth is forced open and the blood
vessels at the back of the throat are
severed with asharp narrow bladeA
knife. The knife is then turned and
the point plunged through the roof
of the mouth to a point just behind
and between the eyes, piercing the
brain. The muscles are relaxed and
the feathers come out easily.
Capons should always be dry picked
as they look much better and as some
OF the feathers should be left on. The
feathers of the neck and head, the
tail feathers, those a short way up the
back, the feathers of the last two
joints of the wing, and those of the
leg, about one-third of the way from
the knee to hip joint. should be left
on. These feathers, together with the
head of the capon, serve to distin
guish it from other classes of poultry
on the market, and consequently
should never be removed. In picking
be careful not to tear the skin. Bad
tears, poultry specialists of the United
States Department of Agriculture,
should be sewn up. Capons scalded
and picked bare bring very little. II
any, better prices than other poultry
in the same condition.
Most markets require capons to be
drawn and the head and feet left on.
Care should be used to cleanse tho
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1920-11-09
ANOTHER NICE JOB
WISHED LIGHTLY ONTO
OUR AMIABLE MIR. POTTS

w. G. Potts, chairman of the state
board of control, today received the
notification Of his appointment az
chairman of the Division of Public
Agencies and Institutions Of the State
Social Work Conference.
This organization recently met in
Spokane and named the following
chairmen of various divisions: Mrs.
c. A. Varney of Seattle; Judge r. NJ.
Webster of Spokane; DR.. John B.
Anderson of Seattle; Miss Evelyn
Gail Gardiner of Seattle; M. H. Mar
vim of Seattle; w. G. Potts of Seattle:
and Miss Mary Malcolm of Spokane.
The next meeting Of. the conferences
will be held in Tacoma on January
20, 21 and %.