Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1920-02-14

BY THE SAGE OF THE SIDEWALK
Leap Year Invitation.

(By Allyne M. Burt.
Valentine day reminds me of this: ~
That this is leap year, SO 1t is!
Let's you and get hook and bait
And go a-fshing before it's late
And catch bachelor heart or two
Two for me and two for you!
We may catch one who wears a wig
And has one leg that cannot Jig.
Perhaps may have the rheumatic
Corns and bunions may be his!
We may catch one who wears peg
In place of one quite minus leg!
We may catch one who's out of style
And used to drink once in awhile.
Then one might have some new false teeth
He may be bald and fiat of feet!r
But oh! the one I'd rather have,
really don't want you to laugh
Short and fat oh, he must be,
And have cross eyes SO hell see me-"
One on this side-one on that
So that when l want a hat
shall have not one but two
I'd like that kind-now wouldn't you?
/ want some one with lots OF dough
And not penny must he owe.
He must have a handsome limousano
And of it all must be queen.
II this our luck might chance to be
Then let's go ishing-you and me!
sAHard lines for some of the bachelors!
What's the use, we'd like to know in spending
SO much time in keeping oneself groomed up
to snuff and in dieting, and going twice week
to the chiropodist and having ones eyes
Strengthened, and keeping up with the latest
thing in cravats and trousers, if the above
requirements are the last word in cupid's
court?
81 don't b1ieve in 'spressin' in the press, y
sputtered onef of our callers the other day,
and we began to glow like spring sunset for
them's our sentiments too-but-
II don't b'lieve in 'spressin on the press y
repeated our friend-"the cider press, mean
And we didn't start any argument with him
about that. either-sometimes We don't like to
argufy.
We understand the o. C. club held a secret
session last night and appointed a ways and
means committee The committee expects to
present its plan to the wives Of the o. c. club
members (for it is we'll known that all men,
bers of this frat have been provided with a
wife), and ask for a liberal donation We
hope the ladies will respond without scene
But if they don't-well, "a mans man for a.
that"
AS stated in this colyum recently we al
ways Judge by appearances that's why we
think our mayor is such a good mamie is
good-looking.
- We wish we had space for all OF the touch
ing illusions that come pouring in from bud
ding poets. It's downright shame that such
! beauty is born to blush unseen
tom used to send me flowers and candy on
Valentine day said matron of uncertain
years.
What does he send you now?" asked her
neighbor.
! HE doesn't send me neutrality-suspicious.
he hands me-a package
One of our callers opined the other day
while in this Office that nobody ever takes
fat man seriously. Well. we have a few of
them around here who are to say rather stout
and think if any one should take them
it would be a most serious matter!
There are leagues of all descriptions
There are leagues that have no show
But the leap year league of leaguers
Is the league that wants your DOUGH-
! The last word in cosmetics:
WALKING ADVERTISEMENTS
And He Did.
1--WE often wished l understood palmistry N
unused the young lawyer.
Its simple enough she caroled, give me
your hand
Mike was glazing so hard at his pay en-
velope that he didn't see at all, so we asked:
What makes you stare SO hard at your
envelope-anything wrong?'
mo. no, boz but l never see it but twice
once when l gifts it and once when gives it to
the old woman"
Do "have heart" especially as this is St
| Valentines day.
We have