Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-06-16
Bits of By-PLay
By LUKE McLUKE
Copyright. 1920. the Cincinnati In
Quirer)

BY LUKE McLUKE
Copyright, 1920, the Cincinnati In
Quirer)
Giddap!
Matt Winn thinks hat Congress will
have horse ems enough to vote
Neigh" when the Sins Anti-Racing
Bill ome up.
I'll have to buy a hat" said Ned,
I'll have to buy a hat" said Grace:
He bought a hat to fit his head.
She bought O hat to fit her face.
Then 1t Happened!
II wonder if you could ?" unused the
Rummy, as he dropped a grain of
yeast into his glass of near beer.
you wonder If you could what?"
demanded the Barkeep as he picked
up a bungstarter.
"Why, l wonder If you could say
that the author of a book OIL astron-
omy is a space writer?" replied the
Rummy as he headed for the DOR.
He buried clothes shoes and hat,
1 pity Oswald Hoods; y.
He petted a strange pussy cat
That he met in the woods.
Jill
oh. see the two Men who are Toll
ing in the Factory.
One man is a Hustler. He is Speed
ing Up Production. He does not waste
| a Moment and he Is Very Industrious.
The other is Soldering, Yawning
and Fiddling Around. He Is not do
ing Much of Anything. He is Killing
Time.
| Why is one man so industrious and
the other man so Lazy?
Very Simple my lear Watson! The
Lazy Nan gets paid by the Week and
the industrious Man is doing Piece
work.
Amt 1t the Truth!
When you step on a fellows corns,
You use philosophy;
But when a man steps on your corns
You're mad as can be-.
LESSON 1.
Q.-What two great Americans were
born on June 8?
A.-Jefferson Davis and Luke Nc
Luke.
Bang!
Beware the raisin. jack, friend Bill.
It's worse on you than hop:
| And, If you take a drop you will
| Go out and take a drop
Located.
The other day we asked what had
become of h o. f. Jews Harp and
one. And Luke Cloran informs us
that they were both in Meals grocery
store. Ashland. KY, last Tuesday af-
%ternoon.
It's All White Down South.
Hark bark, the dogs do bark,
The bootleggerS are coming to town;
And they get fifteen bucks per pint
For most n old liquid that's
Luke McLuke.
Hark, bark, the dogs do bark!
The bootleggers in town are a sight.
And they get fifteen bucks pc rpint
For most any old booze that is white
e. r. j. Nashville.
Alta Boy!
Horace Greeley's advice was: go
Vest" But what we started to say
was that Rush West lives in New vi
emma. Ohio.
Ouch!
Every man likes a good nights rest
Therefore the Club cheerfully re-
quests the Hard Mattress Company of
Buffalo. N. Y. to put a little hay on
the bed Stats in the Club House.
Hibrow Stuff.
I know I certainly would run
If l should see a hamadryad;
I know it would be heaps more fun.
To run across a little naiad.
Luke McLuke.
No wonder. You'd be up a tree
Should you meet up with hama
dryads;
I'll bet they'd get 'em up though gee!
Those nice convivial, wet" old
naiads.
Newark Advocate
Well. Well!
A nan named Higgins who lives
in Fayette, w. Va. was presented
with twins by his wife. They looked
so much alike that he named them
Hardly Any Higgins and Difference
Higgins. The wins are still living,
and there is hardly any difference be-
tween them.
The Horrors of Prohibition
As there isn't anything else to do
these hot nights. you might sit down
and worry over the fact hat at a
depth OF 1000 meters beneath the
face of the sea the magnitude of the
oceans is constant on the parallels
of the austral hemisphere, whatever
that is.
Names Is Names.
Elizabeth Silknitter lives at Tower
Hill. III
Our Daily Special.
The Fact That q Mar Hasn't Any
thing to Say Doesn't Keep Him From