Atlanta tri-weekly journal. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1920-19??, 1920-06-10

O'Clock. he was just getting warmed
up. The trouble with having Mr..
Lodge make a speech is that he Is
probably the only delegate to the
convention that can speak English,
and, of course, the rest of the dele
gates couldn't understand him, and
besides they wanted to sleep, so
Harry's keynote speech will go down
in history as speech that was never
heard, and if it was heard. it wasn't
understood.
But, speaking about Senator Lodge,
he got UP there CARRIED in a A. M.
coat like he was usher at a we'd
ding, and I looked around at several
other delegates and three of them
But Harry's looked like the only one
that the wearer owned and hadn't
rented from a one-day tailor.
Like six-Day Race
But I will try and describe the
first day of the convention in alpha
bet order. In the first place we got
there about IL o'clock and got to
our seat by knocking down a lot of
good reporters and then Mr.. Hays
introduced the secretary of the ma
tional committee and he read the
official summons to the convention
out of a book, and if that part OF
the program had of been left out
we would of all thought it was "a
six-day bicycle race. SO. then come
Dixie" and as usual the, crowd
thought it was "The Star-.Spangled
Banner" and stood up with their
heads barred, and then Mr.. Hays said
he wanted to intrdopce the temporary
chairman, Mr.. Lodge, and it took two
gents and one lady, including Chaun-
cey Depew, to escort the speaker to
the platform. But Mr.. Hays pulled a
boner by not having any committee
to get him off of there. So, as | say,
he was still talking at 1 o'clock and
didn't seem to be getting anywhere,
in some paper that has got a surplus
of white print paper, so l Will not
repeat it
Well when we got in our places
who should loom up in front OF us
but William J. Bryan and the man
setting next to me said this is the
first time 1 ever went summing IN
the day.
Far be it from me to tell the Re
publicans how to run their conven-
TONS. but 1 want to say that the
next time they have keynote speech
that they put it on a Victtola SO you
can listen to it in your room ana
smoke at the same time. And anoth-
er suggestion I want to make mere
was a poor stenographer propaply
SeLLlnR olOU,UJU per WCOh' %AIiu -
had to stand behind Harry and take
the whole speech down for. publlca
ton where as if they would ma re
Cabot put in a carbon sheet they
could save the stenographer salary
to say nothing about his self respect
because the poor guy had to laugh az
every gag Harry sprung ad none OF
the rest of us could hear it.
Waiting on Penrose
They was no candidates names
mentioned in this session for the
reason that everybody knows the
names of 1 and Johnson and Hoover
and Wood and Lowden and etc.
and nobody knows how to pronounce
the name Of Sproul, or whether JUS
animal, vegetable or mineral. When
boys or girls Penrose finely calls up
maybe 1 will tell you who this bird
is. but anyway I got huRch from
the Pennsylvania delegation last
night was that they are all gong
to vote for Sproul on the first pal
lot and as soon as they see how
far he is sunk they will switch to
Philanderer c. Knox, and NOBODY
knows what his middle initial stands
for.
Personally I think 1 have still got
a sweet chance and the minute the
boys start comparing my war rec
ord to Joe Hoovers and Jack John-
son and Harry Lowden and etc
why I can make them look like a
monkey. Hoover got to Belgium put
T am the only one in the party tina:
got to LABEL, France
(Convrioht. 1920. Bell Syndicate Inc.)