South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1920-07-25

one that was So bent on doing
right.
Boys" says she, dabbing her
eyes with a little handkerchief,
this stake comes in handler than
powder rag at a fat mems ball.
IL gives me a chance 20 reform. !
was trying to get out of the real
estate business when you fellows
came along. But II you hadn't taken
me in on this neat little proposition
for removing the cuticle of the ruta-
baga prOpagators I'm afraid I'd
have got into something worse. i
was about to accept a place in one
of these women's auxiliary bazars.
where they build a parsonage by
selling a spoonful OF chicken salad
and a cream-puff for 70 cents and
call IL a business mems lunch.
Now I can go into a square, hon
est business. and give all them
qi Ger jobs the shake. I'm going to
Cincinnati and start a palms read
ms and clairvoyant joint AS Mad
anne Saramaloi. the Egyptian sorcer-
ess. 1 shall give everybody a dol
lars worth Of good honest prognos-
tication. Goodbye, boys. Take my
advice and go into some decent
fake. Get friendly with the police
right"
So then we all shook hands. and
Miss Malloy left us. Me and Buck
also rose up and sauntered off a
lew hundred miles; for we didn't
care TO be around when them mar
riage certificates fell due.
With about $4,000 between us we
hit that bumptious little town off
the New Jersey coast they call New
York
II there ever was an aViary over
stocked with jays il is that Yaptown-
On-the- Hudson. Cosmopolitan they
call il. You bet. Sos a piece OF fly
paper. You listen close when they're
buzzing and trying TO pull their fee,
out of the sticky stuff Little old
New York's good enough for US
that's what they sing.
There's enough Reubs walk down
Broadway in one hour 10 buy up a
weeks output Of the factory in Au-
gusta Me. that makes Knaughty
Novelties and the little Prime
Plum oroide gold finger ring that
sticks a needle in your friends hand
You'd think New York people was
all wise; but no. They don't get a
chance 10 learn. Everything's too
compressed. Even the hayseeds are
! baled haySeeds. But what else can
YOU expect from a town that's shut
off from the world by the ocean on
one side and New Jersey on the
other?
It's no place for an honest CRATER
with "a small capital. There's too
big a protective on bunco. Even
when Niovanni sells a quart OF
warm worms and chestnut bulls
H. no - -
sectivorous cop. And the hotel man
charges double for everything in the
/ bill that ne sends by the patrol
+ wagon 10 the altar where the duke
is about 10 marry the heiress.
But old BadVille-near-Cone is
;he ideal burg for a refined piece OF
piracy If you can pay the bunco
duty Imported CRAFTS come pretty
I high. The custom house officers
I that look after 1t carry clubs. and
it's hard 10 smuggle in even a bin
I and-tucker swtndle TO work Brook
I lyn with unless you can pay the toll.
But now me and Buck. having cap
/ ital. descends upon New York 10
/ try and trade the metropolitan
/ backwoodsmen few glass beads
/ for real estate just as the Vans did
7 a hundred or two years ago.
AT an East Side hotel we gets
acquainted with Romulus G. After
7 bury. a man with the finest hea d
/ for financial operations I ever saw.
IL was all bald and glossy except
for gray side whiskers Seeing that
/ head behind an Office railing. and
you'd deposit million with Il with
out a receipt. This Atterbury Was
we'll dressed. though he ate seldom
and the synopsis OF his talk would
make the conversation OF a siren
sound like a cab drivers kick. He
I said he used 10 be member OF the
stock exchange, but some OF the big
capitalists got jealous and formed
a ring that forced him TO sell his
seat.
Atterbury got 10 liking me and
Buck and be begun TO throw on the
canvas for Us some Of the schemes
that had caused his hair 10 eyacu-
ate. lie had one scheme for start