Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1920-02-18

that possibly the undertakers were behind this
idea Of bringing back the soldiers bodies from
France. This is very likely. But how can
one blame them! From all We can learn the
Door fellows have not had prosperous year.
II doctors continue in their relentless Tight
against the flu. and people persist in taking
care of themselves, We predict that the benev-
olent order OF undertakers will have every
cause to be blue. Last week We overheard
this conversation between an undertaken and
coroner:
Undertaker; well, hows business%
Coroner. Mighty punk, only three suicides
this week"
Undertaken: Same here. Never knew 1t
to be 80 dull. Pretty soon there WON'T be
enough business for one firm here. II people
keep on taking that COMPOUNDED serum for
pneumonia"
Seen but Not Heard.
Tommy at the dinner table when there are
guests present:
Mother, may l speak!"
No son. not now"
But mother -
Tom, mother said mo-.
please mother. it is im--
Thomas, do you hear me, said NO."
After the MEALS over
"Now, Tom, you may speak.
II only wanted to tell you the pipe In the
bathroom has burst.
We opine that pretty soon about the only
thing left with kick will be q mule.
o
If you can't make good, make haste-the
two are sometimes synonymous.
%
Telepathy versus Letter Writing.
That letter writing has taken its place along
with conversation, calling, listening and the
rest of the arts of We olden times We shall soon
be forced to admit. But there is rosy lining
to the little cloud that might seem at first
glance to refgure loneliness and estrange-
ment. There is telepathy. How much more in
keeping with the modern ideal Of efficiency
than the old tiresome patience wearing GUS
tom of writing letters. All we shall soon have
to do when we wish to talk with the absent is
to press the telepathic button seat ourselves
(fguratively only at the switchboard of our
imagination and relieve ourselves OF whateve,
opinion, complaint or gossip that is burdenins
us. At the same time it will be entirely pos
sible for US to 60 on about our various activf-
ties, such as cleaning our typewriter, eating
our breakfast, or listening to I. WIS mono
logues. In the good old summer time We might
under protest) be moving the lawn at the
same time that our telepathic messages were
being transmitted. The advantages of telep
athy in matrimony need hardly be mentioned
But one that is not to be lightly ignored is
the economy Of time. Every one knows that
wives have enough to do without being Obliged
to stand by the tea-kettle ten or twelve min
utes every time the mail comes.
The advantages of telepathy are indeed toe
numerous to mention but you can figure il
out yourselves We have found it advanta-
geous, especially in these days Of paper famine
The other day we sent message to the ex,
kaiser to which as yet We have had no reply
1t was about the time of NE storm in the east
so it may have been delayed few days. Blu,
we are sure he has it by this time, and how
glad we are that we sent it, for at the very
moment Of going to press it may be delivering
it's message. 1t is. we think. almost like cast
ing ones bread upon the waters. We sent a
message to Mr.. Bryan and Henry Ford re-
Gently which we have every reason to believe
has been received. The next time you feel
an ingrowing tendency TO communicate your
sentiments" to the absent We recommend
telepathy.
Poverty is no disgrace
Yet folks seem not to like it
We sometimes wonder why they race
And run until they strike it.
Safety First.
| II you feel badly pretend that you are com.
| ing down with the flu and act accordingly
Consult physician or telephone for an absent
treatment. If you happen to be mistaken-st
much the better.
/ We disagree with those fanatics who arr
opposed to long engagements. It is our dut,
we feel to be happy just as long as one pos
sibly can.
Only 317 days more Of leap year. A wore
| to the wise is sufficient.