The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1920-01-15
Dorothy Dix Talks
What Is an Ideal Husband:

What qualities should an ideal hus-
band possess?
What virtues and what accomplish
ments should a man have in order to
turn him from the common, or garden
variety of husband into one that
would be a household treasure?
These questions are suggested by
divorce suit that has recently been
tried in the middle west, in which the
aggrieved husband gave a piteous ac-
count of the abuse his wife poured
upon him. because he did not know
how to powder her back properly. and
made a bungling job of it.
OF course when the average man
ponders upon the duties OF husbane
he does not include the services of .
lady's maid among them. 1t never
| even occurs to him that marriage
turns husband into hook worm.
| and that upon his business as lawyer,
| or doctor. or merchant he must super
impose the art of the calcominer, and
acquire the expert eye for fit and style.
of the k-and-suit-buyer.
Yet all these functions pertain to
the ideal husband. and makes a man
the kind of mate that his lucky pos
SCISSOR flaunts in every other woman's
| face.
For in feminine circles. the last
word in establishment that a wife
can utter is when she says. MY hus-
L.
when I ask him how he likes a new
| frock. he always says, oh, 1t is all
right. l guess; how much did it
cost p"
On the contrary. the woman who
says. My husband always wants me
to wear something blue, and he helps
me design my Clothes" is regarded
with an almost murderous envy by her
| friends.
In the main, women are reasonable
n fITrsA ~,
to admit that il Is not absolutely
necessary for their dear husbands to
| possess the talent of the complexion
artist. and the lady's tailor, tho they
realize that it certainly would be a.
comfort to be married to man who
could tell when hat is on at the
proper angle. and find the snapper
on bit of real lace without tearing
a ten doIfar hole in 1t. and using Ian
suage that no perfect gentleman
should use in lady's society.
Perhaps the reason that more mar
riages are not happier is because men
and women look at this question of
| what constitutes the ideal husband
from such entirely different stand
points. If man supports his wife.
and gives her good home. and the
physical comforts of life, and refrains
from beating her. he feels that he has
done his full duty towards her, and
| enjoys the rewards of a clear con-
science
The average man does not consider
that he Is under any obligation to do
ANYTHING actively towards making his
wife happy. such as being tender and
laffectionate towards her, or to provide
her with little amusements. and graf
ify her little whims. or to chum with
her. Roughly spea king a mans con-
ception of the perfect husband is a
| meal ticket and a charge account nj
the stores. If he does anything else
for his wife 1t is matter of grace and
not duty. On the other hand, a wo-
mans ideal of perfect husband is of
some one who will be her guide,
philosopher and friend a man who
/ Will be stronger and wiser than she is,
and show her the wav thru life; a man
whose tenderness will envelop her like
| the tenderness of God a man whose
sympathy and pity will be a sustaining
fountain into whose waters she can al
ways dip in every hour of trial.
| As for her husbands conduct n wo-
mans ideal husband is a man who al
| ways notices how his wife looks,
| whether she is tired and pale. or fresh
and well, whether she Is becomingly
gowned or not. Her ideal husband APP
preciates the little things that she does
for him. instead of taking them for
granted. He has word of thanks
when she has sewed on his button,
or turned the cuffs on his shirts or
| made his favorite pie for dinner.
| When she has sacrificed the things
she wanted. and gone thru pinching
economies to help him meet some cri-
| sis in his business. the ,woman's ideal
| husband does not begrudge her a
need of praise as a helpmeet If he
| has money he 1avishes upon her every
| luxury. If he has not money he makes
| her feel that the hardest sting of pow
| erty is because he cannot dress her
| like q queen. Above all, he makes her
| feel that his love liz a warm, living
actuality that no time nor change can
chill.
| A woman's ideal husband tries to be
interesting and companionable to his
wife. He doesn't expect her to make
1 all the conversational running, and
| monologue along of an evening, while
| he merely Erunts from time TO time to
show that he is still alive. He is will
| ing to go fffty-fifty with her in pro-
viding the amusement for a pleasant
| evening at home, and he takes as
much interest in discussing the length
of skirts. and whether they are going
to wear tight sleeves or not as he ex-
poets her to take in Ty Cobb's batting
average.
These are some OF the things that
go to make up a woman's idea of a
good husband, and when a man has
| these lovable qualities. 1t doesn't mat
ter much to a woman what else he IL
| or does.
A mans idea of the ideal husband
| is good provider. A woman's idea
| OF the ideal husband is the perfect
| lover. and the two do not always unite
| in the same man. Hence the divorce
question.