davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1920-07-02
SMILE--It Pays

In one of the southern training
camps, a profane and perspiring in
fantry sergeant was doing his best TO
pound into the heads of squad CT
exceedingly raw rockies the rudi-
ments of military science.
When the sergeant gave the order,
each willing recruit of the squad made
commendable effort to execute it,
but every little rookie had move
ment all his own, with highly unsatis-
factory results.
"As you were!' bawled the ser
geant.
At this point the proceedings wer9
interrupted by recruit from Boston,
who before enlisting had been Har-
ward student.
BEG pawdon, sawgeant," said he,
but wouldn't it be noah propah TO
say, You will restore the status quo
ante'?"
Look here" he cried, Il can't sleep
you don't make him stop, 1 will"
Come in, sir-come I'M" said the
kids father. You'll be as welcome as
the flowers in spring.
what kind of a player is Mr..
Jones?"
Jones! Why he's a duffer. Can't
play stroke. Why do you ask"
I'm going to play against him to-
morrow in the visitors handicap"
"Too bad, old chap! I'm afraid
you're in for a beating"
They were entertaining the minister
Hello, Tom,' said a man from the
north who had returned to his BIRTH
place for brief visit. q heard that
Bill killed a man. Is it true?"
"Sure." replied Tom. He chased
the fellow three days with a shotgun,
finally got a good bead on him and
biffed him right through the lung"
And killed him. queried the
northerner, with horror.
You bet!"
well, how is it that they didn't
lynch Bill for coldblooded murder"
"Well, the fellow that Bill shot
didn't have a friend on earth, so the
game warden just fined Bill 81 for
huntin' without license"
Governor Smith of New York re-
Gently said at dinner in Albany:
THE opponents of female suffrage
take jaundiced view of things. They
are like the old Batch.
81 see that Jones has married his
cook, man said to Batch at The
club.
Humph. That's just like Jones
Batch snorted. He'd always rather
fight than eat"
AS he weighed out the sugar the
grocer's boy whistled Justify.
Don't you know that it is very rude
to whistle while you are waiting on a
LADY," said the elderly customer, Sc
verely.
"Well, the guv-nor told me to do it
when I served you," explained the
boy.
HE told you to whistler" said the
customer in great surprise.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1920-07-02

Little Jimmy went with his mother
to stay with an aunt in the country
and his mother was very worried as tc
how he would behave.
But to her surprise he was angelic
during the whole visit-always did as
he was told, and never misbehaved.
AS soon as he got home, however.
he was his natural self again.
"Oh, Jimmy" she said, you were
so good while you were away, why
do you start behaving badly now"
whats home for?" asked Jimmy
in panied surprise.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1920-07-02

Foreign countries are using only
half as much petroleum as the United
States, but have seven times as much
oil in the ground.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1920-07-02

Early inscriptions made about 1900
B. c. show that the Babylonians had
developed fairly extensive system Of
figuring
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1920-07-02

At their present rate Of consump-
ton, foreign oil producing countries
have enough to last them more thai
$50 years.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1920-07-02

Long before the late war, liquid
fire was used in warfare, especially
by the Byzantine Greeks.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1920-07-02

1t is not generally known that hen,
when sitting, turns her eggs entirely
around once a day.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1920-07-02

"Yes'm! He said if we ever sold
you anything we'd have to whistle for
the money"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1920-07-02

A woman went into a railroad Office
to buy a ticket for her son who was
about to emigrate to Canada, and while
the man was looking up the particulars
she CHANGED to look around and no.
ticed in a glass case a stuffed Canadian
moose.
What kind of an animal is that?"
she inquired.
ooh" said the man, that's a Can
adian moose"
We'll, if that's the case" she said,
"Pll have my money back. 1 wouldn't
let my son go out there. What must
the rats be like.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1920-07-02

The man in the next fiat was
with your kid yelling like that! If
pounding on the wall.
at dinner, and after dessert little
Johnny pressed the minister to have
another piece of pie.
The minister laughed. well, John
nv, if you insist, 1 will have another"
Good" said Johnny. Now, ma,
remember your promise. You said if
you had to cut into the second rie
could have another piece!"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1920-07-02

NO" he responded gravely; "I'y
never heard you in 'Manon.'"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1920-07-02

1--WE no doubt about this case"
said the lawyers clerk to his chief
zone look at that fellow over there
.convinces me that he is guilty"
"Hush!" said the lawyer nervously
That's the counsel for the defense"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1920-07-02

The young man was a devout lover
of opera. All through the second act
his hostess had chartered and smirked,
entertaining the small party in her
box and disturbing a large part of The
audience.
"You must come again" she said.
as he wished her Good night. -
Come on Thursday. It's 'Manon.
Have you heard Manon?"
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1920-03-25
NEW GOVERNMENT
RECOGNIZES CLAIMS
Majority Socialists Agree With Labor
Leaders to Provide for Reforms
Demanded to Secure Fusion.
by Associated Press)

Copenhagen of a new
German cabinet is a matter of only a
few hours and independent Socialists
are sure of getting several important
portfolios, according to kilograms from
Berlin this morning.
London.-In the strike settlement
reached by the German government
with labor unions the majority Social
lists are pledged to place in their par
liamentary program the claims of la
Dor organizations, says a Berlin dis
patch to the Exchange Telegraph Co.
The government has expressed its
Willingness to withdraw its troops
from Berlin and across the Spree riv-
er, near government headquarters, and
raise the state of seige Immediately,
it is said. In addition, it undertakes
not to attack workers, particularly
those in the Ruhr valley, sv'ld to nego-
tiate with unions concerning the entry
of labor representatives into defense
corps. The unions pledged themselves
to call another meeting to decide upon
the question of a new general strike,
in case their claims are not met and
the governments policies are broken.
he claims of the unions follow:
Reorganization of the governme
of the empire and Prussia must be
undertaken with the cooperation Of
labor unions, and the deciding influ-
ence upon social laws must be given
The unions. Guilty rebels must be dis
armed and punished. All Offices of the
public administration must be purged
Of nter-revolutionists. The reform
of governmental administrations must
be executed as quickly as possible
with the cooperation of the unions.
Social laws must be extended imme-
diately TO secure economic equality for
workingmen. Naturalization of in
dustry must be commenced at once
Better supplies of food must be ar
ranged and available stocks must be
placed at the disposal Of the people
All military formations which do not
remain true to the eens4itlsssi o1ls M ust
be disbanded."
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1920-03-25

Mayor John G. Joachim and Charles
E. Turnock will fight it out for mayor
on April 9Th This was the verdict of
the primary on Tuesday when the
mayor won his place on the ticket by
an emphatic plurality and Mr.. Tur-
mock nosed out Samuel S. Walkup the
candidate proposed by the Socialists,
by narrow margin of 255 votes.
The mayor was given strong vote
all over the city and the only ward
which failed TO give him a plurality
was the Second. In this ward Turnock
ran far ahead Of both Of his opponents.
turing the ,arly hours of the count
l. appeared that Waikup had a good
chance of nomination as he ran second
to Joachim in all of the north side
wards and in some of the south wards.
Mayor Fails of Majority.
Mayor Joachim failed to secure a
majority of the votes cast at the prim-
airy but his total of 1887 was mighty
close to the vote polled by Turnock
and Walkup together. The total vote
cast for mayor was 4,730, the largest
vote ever cast at any primary in Ke-
nosha.
Friends of both candidates declared
themselves we'll pleased with the out
come of the primary this morning and
the fight for the election was on
with the announcement of the prim-
airy vote 1t is expected that this will
be one of the most interesting election
battles ever known in Kenosha. Mayor
Joachim has promised to put steam
into the campaign and his opponent is
a first class campaigner and he will
keep going until the last vote is in on
election day. The votes for the other
places on the ticket showed large leads
for the present officials, George w.
Harrington having long lead over
liner R. Turkelson for city clerk and
John w. Stevens leading Leon Thomas
by a big margin. City Treasurer
George Lauer was unopposed for re-
election but he was givc-l a great en-
dorsement at the primaries. Benjamin
u. Cameron had long lead over
Clarence w. Dodson for justice of the
peace and Frank Pfleger who was an
added entry for the race was far in
the rear The vote by wards for the
various city nominations follows:
For Mayor
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1920-03-25
NAME HUJRTGEy
FOR new TERM
Commissioner Of Public
Gets Unanimous Vote
of Council.
COSTS MORE TO VOTE

Peter Hurtgen was unanimously
elected to succeed himself as commits
sioner of public works at the meeting
of the common council held just be-
fore noon today. City Attorney Slater
announced that he had examined the
records of the council and that the
election of commissioner Of public
works was matter properly coming
before the present council. Without
division and without the formality
of ballot Mr.. Hurtgen was re-
elected. This means that the en-
gineering force Of the city for the
coming year will be unchanged.
Elections to Os tMore.
Elections in Kenosha are going to
cost more in the future as the alder
men today decided on increased pay
for all Of the election officials. 1t can
be said that the council did not reach
this decision to raise pay without some
coertion, as several of the election of
ficials had served notice this morn
ing that they would not serve at the
city election unless an adjustment of
the pay was made. Under the new
rule the pay will be based on three
hundred votes, the chairman receiv-
ing eleven dollars a day, the inspec-
tors eight dollars and the ballot clerks
seven dollars, with the understanding
that twenty-five cents will be added to
the daily pay for each one hundred
voters above the three hundred mark.
The ordinance providing for the va
cation of strip of land from Charles
street to the Nash Motors Company
was given its first reading and the
present council will have chance to
take final action on the ordinance at
the meeting to be held week from
next Monday evening. All of the
aldermen have declared that they will
vote to pass the ordinance.
The finance committee of the board
of education announced that it has
reached an agreement with the prop
erty owners for the purchase of the
property on Bronson street, wanted
for an addition to the Washington
school grounds for $4,000. The
finance committee was instructed to
get options at this price with the
understanding that funds will be
furnished by the council at the next
meeting. This does away with the
necessity of the city condemning the
land.
Nurses employed by the city were
given permission to attend the meet
ing at Madison with an expense ac-
count for three of them not exceeding
thirty dollars.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1920-03-25

opponent, who retaliated with bayo-
net thrust that caught the Italian in
the right side, causing a frightful
wound. He fought on until he was un-
conscious and hours later he awoke
in an Italian hospital There few
days later he was decorated with the
Croix de Guerre by the French govern
ment and in addition the Italian gov
eminent added two stars to the rib
bon.
After weeks of convalescing he re-
turned to his company and fought for
two years more, at the end of which
he was honorably discharged and re-
turned to America.
Joins American Army.
Though weakness had forced him
out Of the Italian army, Biscardi, when
the United States entered the war,
again heard the call to battle and vol
unteered in the American army. He
was member of Company d. 4th In
fantry of the 3rd Division and one of
the first Kenosha men overseas with
American troops. Not content with
winning three citations, he showed
more gallantry as an American dough
boy and won more praise From his
officers.
He served with distinction around
Verdun. On October A, 1918, shrap-
mel she'll burst near him causing sew
eral wounds in his leg. At the sam%
time machine gun was turned on him
and two more bullets plowed through
the same leg. Another bullet cut away
piece of his left ear while still an
other tore the gas mask from his face.
Biscardi crawled to a she'll hole where
he bound up his wounds and waited
until he was picked up by first aid
men. He was for several months in
an American hospital in France and
i only a few months ago returned to
Kenosha from the wars.
Has Many Friends Here.
Angelo Biscardi was one of the most
prominent Of the Italian of Kenosha.
He was member of the Kenosha Post
of the American Legion and of several
of the Italian military orders. He was
also a member of several of the Italian
societies in Kenosha and was promi-
nent in the lives Of all of them.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1920-03-25
PETERSEN GETS
GENEVA ROAD
kenOsha Contractor Gets
Bid within Estimate
Done This Year.
IMPROVE THREE MILES

Chris Petersen of Kenosha is going
to keep busy for part of the summer
at least, for he is to have the con-
tract for improving three more miles
of the Geneva road, west of the present
paving. His bid Of $120,464.20 for the
three miles of concrete road was the
the only one ready for the work by
the state highway commission in SEES
sion in Milwaukee on Tuesday after
noon, but just the same the engineers
and officials of the commission an
nounced that Petersen had a job. The
bid of Petersen is some three thou
sand dollars under the estimate of
the cost of the work as made by the
state and federal engineers, and while
the contract must yet have the sane
tion of the state highway commission
it is certain that this sanction will
be Forthcoming just as soon as the con-
tract goes before the state body.
Farewell to "Foster Hill.''
This will mean farewell to old
Foster Hill, one Of the danger spots
on the Geneva road, as the plans for
the improvement of the road provide
for the cutting down of the hill and
the work of improvement under the
contract will be carried west to a
point four hundred feet from the west
end of the hill.
1t is expected that the work of the
Geneva road will be started just as soon
as the building season opens and that
it will be rushed to completion. 1t
is expected that the work will all be
completed by the end of the present
summer.
No other bids for roads in Kenosha
county were opened at the session of
the state highway commission on Tues
day. The bids for roads over in Wau-
kesha county were considerable higher
than the Petersen bid for the Geneva
road and it was intimated that these
contracts would not be. let.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1920-03-25
Paul A. Hemmy
Will Retire
(By Associated Press)

Milwaukee-The prospective appoint
ent of Paul w. Thiel as head of the
Fond du Lac Office of the internal
revenue collectors Office will cause the
retirement of Paul A. Hemmy, who
has had charge of the Fond du Lac
office since he was succeeded by Burt
S. Williams here. 1t is understood that
Hemmy went to Fond du Lac at the
same salary as he received in Milwau-
kee and since this is smaller office,
the salary was recently reduced and
Mr.. Hemmy resigned. He is retiring
from public life to devote himself
entirely to his business interests at
Juneau.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1920-03-25
Flood Threatens
Indian Village
(By Associated Press)

Ashland, Melting snow in the
ravines and gorges of rivers of the
Upper Lake country is beginning to
flood the ice bound streams Of this.
vicinity. The banks of the Bad River
began to overflow today and threat
ened the Indian village of Odana. The
food came so fast that an Indian who
was milking a COW in barn had to
be taken out in boat. A heavy rain
would certainly bring serious food
in the village and the residents fear
repetition of the flood OF two years
ago when two hundred people from the
reservation were sheltered at Ashland.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1920-03-25
Ninth Ward.
Alderman.
Workmen's Cabinet
Provided in Germans
(By United Pressl

Berlin-Formation OF a Socialist
workmen's cabinet under the terms of
the agreement between the Ebert
group and leaders of the radical ele-
ment started late Tuesday night. It
was decided that a temporary govern
ment shall be formed immediately.
The new government will be of tenn
porary character pending the election
which it will arrange for. The Ebert
group has agreed that The Communist
leaders in control Of the uprising in
west Germany shall be punished.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1920-03-25
Vets Will Try to
Deceive the Public
(By United Pressl

Springfeld.-"The saloon is dead as
slavery" William Jennings Bryan who
is here to attend the constitutional
conventions said in an interview today.
81 expect both nominating conventions
to declare prohibition settled sub
ject. There is not the slightest pros
pect that wet plank will be in either
platform, and long before convention
time the vets will understand it, if
they do not now. They will concen-
.trate their efforts for securing a non
committal platform and then will try
TO secure non-committal candidate
and will practice DECEPTION on the pub
lie as they have always done"
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1920-03-25
NOMINATIONS IN THE WARDS

Sharp contests for aldermanic and
school commissioner nominations
marked the primary in many of the
wards. Alderman Roberts, Pabst, Do
nahue, Wachs and Zimmerman, were
renominated to succeed themselves on
the council. Alderman Peter Keul in
the eighth ward was the only sitting
alderman who sought reelection to
fall by the wayside. Only one name
was added to the ticket by the voters
writing in nomination. This came
in the eighth ward, where F. F. Joerndt
was named as candidate for school
commissioner against Frank D. Obey,
who at present represents the ward on
the school board. Here is the vote
for the nomination of ward officers:
First Ward-First Precinct.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1920-03-25
Daniels Inefficient
Says Capt. Laning
(By United Pressl

Washington alleged ineficien-
cy Of the navy in the war was due in
part to the methods of Secretary Dan
lies as an executive, Capt. Harris Ian
ing, leading technical officer in the de-
partment, declared in the senate naval
inquiry today. Daniles was so occu-
pied with details that it was often i'm
possible to get approval of important
policies, he said.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1920-03-25
Dutch Refused
German Offers
by Associated Press)

London-A Moscow wireless despatch
dated Berlin, was received here today
declaring that the revolutionists in the
Ruhr district had attempted to enter
into negotiations with the Dutch gov
eminent but were repealed. The Ger
maus desired food in exchange for coal.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1920-03-25

WOODS WINS BIG
IN SOUTH DAKOTA
General Has Long Lead in Contest for
Republican Nomination for Presi-
dent in Primaries.
(By Associated Press)

Sioux Falls Returns from 768 vot-
ing precincts out of 1740 in South
Dakota in the Republican presidential
preferential primary give Wood 23,538,
Lowden BOOTS, and johnson 1904.
Nine counties are yet to be heard from.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1920-03-25
Many Killed
in German Battle
by Associated Press)

Vessel, Germany-Six thousand gov
eminent troops, reinforced by armed
countrymen, had skirmish with COM
munist guards numbering about $4,000
near here last night. Reports state
81 were killed and upwards of 100
wounded.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1920-03-25
Lewis Opens Way
for Compromise
az Assnciated prnssl

Washington-A suggestion that the
joint scale committee of the operators
and miners of the Central Competitive
Bituminous Coal Field meet Monday
in New York to draft a new wage
agreement was made today in a tele-
gram sent by John L. Lewis, acting
chief of the miners to Thomas Brews-
ter, chairman of the operators.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1920-03-25
Will Wage War on
Meat PrOfiteers
(By Associated Press)

Milwaukee, drive on profteering
in the sale of meats will be staged in
Wisconsin, according to the order re-
ceived today by H. H. Stroud, head of
the Fair Price Office in Milwaukee. The
order directed Stroud to institute
vigorous investigation of prices.
The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1920-03-25
JOACHIM I'URNOCK
MAYOR CANDIDATES
Mavor John G. Joachim and Charles E. Turnock Are
Named for Mayor in Citys Biggest Primary
Vote on Tuesday.
MAYOR HAS AN EMPHATIC LEAD in BIG VOTE

Aldermen Roberts, Pabs Donahue Wachs Zimmerman Ar
Renomnaed Conrad Sheaer Leads Cox the SecOndCOpen
Has Big Lead in FourtGrasser and Safransk Win Eighth
The Mellette County pioneer. [volume] (Wood, Mellette County, S.D.) 19??-1971, 1920-11-26
DISLIKE SONS TO GROW UP
Few Mothers Welcome the Time When
Their Boys Go Out Into the
Hard World.

Almost every mother keeps her boy
IN knee pants" just rs long as she
can she hates to see him becoming a
man, for she feels hat he is getting
away from her.
A mother sees only with reluctance
the boy pass from the love and care
and peace with which she has sur
rounded him, out into the world of
pitiless endeavor in which he must
play his part.
The mothers selfish fondness dis
closes itself in the ludicrous child's
garment and the wornout, home-bred
horse with which she sends forth the
wOnld-be knight. These are to the
modern analytical mind painfully sym
bolic of the unconscious interference
on the part of parents with the proper
adult equipment OF their children fol-
an independent life. Their apparent
fondness conceals the unconscious wish
that the child will find himself I'M
equipped for the greater world ant
compelled to turn back to the shelter
New York Medical Journal.