The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1920-01-14

MANY years past we have resolved, on
each succeeding January 1, TO stay OIL
was our best loved deprivation and We
kept and cherished it. 1t Is no longer
possible to make and keep this dis
tinctive VOW. and we regret it.
Not that we wish to convey the i'm
preston that we are a hard-drtnkinS
gent. Far from il. Our habits are so
temperate as to approach abstinence.
We stayed off the water wagon be-
cause we couldn't stand the people
who made up the great majority or
its passengers.
We wish to be properly indignant
concerning the infamy of the loan or
$4,000, 100000 which, it is alleged,
| Great Britain has just negotiated with
the government at Washington. But
we fear our fury will be feeble as COM
pared to that exhibited by the New
! York American. We never feel the
pitiful inadequacy of column con-
ductor so deeply as when the Ameri-
can speaks in letters six inches in
height.
Upon the intimate qualities of wood
alcohol as a lubricant we are not in
position to advise. 1t is to us, so to
speak. a sealed denijohn. But reach
ing once. in the dark, for a mild tonic
our hand came in contact with bot
tie of the denatured article. of which
we took a copious swig. If wood alco-
hol is anything like ITS denatured rela-
tive. death has no sting to those who
| imbibe it.
The Whispering Post.
A. E. F.-You say you tried to kiss
the young woman the second time you
met her. What was the occasion for
w. C. H.-The same to you
Carmencita-Was glad to get it. so
1t was not n matter of falling for
ianythinr. Why so anonymous? Ono
likes TO know who his friends are.
| Caieb-Likely you are right about
it, but we get money for doing it.
i. c. 1.-THE pleasure of knowing
Douglas Fairbanks has been denied us,
but we used to know the prosecuting
attorney OF Cass county, Missouri, very
well, indeed.
When we congratulate sourself it is
upon our perspicacity in picking for
the lifewuriS a business that never has
Il holiday. A holiday is the most un-
interesting of days. People are diyid-
cd into two grand divisions, consisting
of the stupid and the bored. A bust
ness that ena bles one to dodge the
combination Is a boon.
OF course. any time the chief feels
we ought not to work on holidays we
|
to issue. We are bear" for leisure
and bug" on discipline.
Personal and social: If the gentle
4 man who during the earlier part OF
the "mummerS' parade climbed upon
the shoulders of the undersigned and
remained there will call any evening
after O'clock well take great pleas
ure in giving him real ride. Space
yesterday was so restricted that we
were unable to show all of our. gaits.
Sinclair Lewis's adventures with
grouchy and impolite prolekariat, as
detailed in one Of the current period
icals, intrigues us. We recognize prac-
tically all of the characters. having
met them in thirteen or fourteen diff
I ferent states "fF
Mr.. Lewis. however. still has one
grand experience coming to him.
| First let him try to borrow enough
| water to fill his radiator ofrn the
| gent who lives in the sepia house two
miles west of Chalk Lake. Ind. Then
let him write of the experience out
of. a full heart.
or those we have known, Fred Van
desrift probably has the best Christ
mas system. Mr.. Vandegrfit never
uses a Christmas present. This years
! gifts are always laid away to become
| next years presents to his friends.
It is an Incident in Mr.. Vandegriffs
experience that a pearl-handled paper
knife, upon which he placed a private
mark when he first sent 1t out as
| Christmas present seventeen years ago,
| has been returned to him three times
He got it again last year, and will
| start 1t on another round next De-
cember.
When a woman becomes socially
prominent or marries well the people
say, Il knew her when she bathed in
a washtub set in the middle of the
kitchen floor"
| Austria" says an editorial coadju-
tor, lis down and out" That, how
ever. is not the point. as we see it.
The point is that nobody gives a
| whoop.
Another incident of the inefficiency
| of the1postoffice department is noted
from Washington. They say Mr. Sec
rotary Lansing hasn't heard from the
president of the United States for
more than three months.
st. Paul, MinB.-Old Man H. c. l.. has
| walloped everybody in this generation aud
/ threa tens the futurc-now he's after the
pasf-history. The state historical libYarY
| Is threatened with lack-of- funditis.