The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1920-04-15
MIkA TILLICUM DE-
SCRIBES A FREAK
F. o. b. cars, Southern Oregon,
morning of March 5.
hnx4k ka,,.I

morning of March s.
North bound.
Editor Glacier AS previously stated
the long dark night of my sorrowfu
escapades has passed and Joy has come
IN the morning, according to promise,
The blessed light of another day that
feared | would never see, is shedding
its ettulgent beams on the dew. spangled
trees of dear old Oregon. Perhaps they
are tears Of Joy making glad the waste
places, and making the wilderness to
blossom as the rose. Be this as it may.
The face of all nature looks cav. =
and my morale has risen from zero to
80 in the shade.
| / became sociable and quite interest
ed in. one of our fellow passengers. He
| is not conspicuously attractive in an
| pearance from ayman's standpoint
of view. | think he said he was from
| Spoon river, though from what state
| don't remember. 1t might have been
from the state of single blessedness.
If he was to be judged on points I
think he would have scored goose
egg. for he was the bowIeggedest pink
| ever saw; looked like the wishhone
of Dodo looked like he was spring
iiB w ihtAtH al ltlG LIfiiGt anu IO lunD
sideways, and in opposite directions all
at once. was solicitous for his
welfare for time, for | expected if
he committed sideways, as he threat
ened to, he would part along the lines
OF least resistance; /. e., along Jelly
spine ridge, and sometimes known as
scrabble joint heights. So when he
assumed jumping attitude. made a
wish and bet on the off side, but as he
never jumped nothing came of it. If
he had fulfilled my conjecture he would
have been couple of monopeds, in.
stead of a spiral perambulating biped.
| asked him how he got through the
night. He said, Fine: didn't wake
up until morning." For one brief mo-
ment | envied him for what excellent
shock absorbers he had.
Our conversation naturally turned to
the resources of the country we were
passing through. He said he had rela.
tives living here in the willamette val
ley and that hog raising was quite an
industry, though at one time it was
feared they would have to give it up.
as they were dying off with some un.
known malady. Finally some observ-
ing person noticed that most of the
swine had mud balls about as large as
the clapper of pile driver hanging to
their tails, and he came to the conclu.
sion that the burden was more than
their souls could bear, so he decapitat.
ed the hog from his adjunct clement.
the tail. and Immediately the hog re
gained his long lost cheerfulness and be- |
gan to convalesce. 1t was found that
the weight of the mud balls drew the |
skin of their backs so tight they could |
not close their eyes. and hence they |
had died from want of sleep.
SO everybody separated the cause |
from the effect and now the industry
is IN a ffourishing condition. A Junk |
man bought up all the dehogged tails
he could get, but for what purpose it
has been definitely known. Ru.
NOR was they were shipping them to
New York state to rick them up on the
Hudson to make more palisades, as the
old ones were coming down with ner-
vous prostration from being stared at Il
so much. But the most plausible theory /
was, they were sent to a paint factory l
to be made into pigment, with which Il
to whitewash Hog Island.
We have been looking all day Tor
the man in gum boots with long pole
prodding around in the water trying to
locate his we'll so he could water his
'tock, but have been unable to see
lim think someone has been
'stringing" us. | hate liars. Someone
,ught to catch them by the heel and
ERIK their neckties off.
AS our next stop is Portland. | am
that ere long we will be in
Hood River, famous as the home of
he big red apple and the discoverer of
he star spangled lizard.
Mika Tillicum.