The Coconino sun., 1920-01-23

Answers to correspondence:
 K. J. Nackard-Do you know how to make your coat last? Make your vest and pants first. N. G. Layton-How did Jonah feel when the whale swallowed him?
 He felt down in the mouth and went to blubber. Earl Which travels faster --heat or cold?
 Heat, for you can catch cold easy.
 J. G. Tillman-What money brings the most substantial interest?
 Matrimony.
 Dr. P. Paul zinn--Why do we buy shoes?
 Because we can't get them for nothing.
 Nursery lore: There was one time person named Red Riding Hood, who had a grand mother and was also intimate with a number of bears. Little Reddie, as the kids used to call her, went to see her grandmother on a Tuesday, and when she got there found the beds were full of bears, one of which im- personated her grandmother. Just how the story winds up, we forget, but, all things considered, we cannot see the moral of the tale. With the exception of those tame ones in Yel- lowst0ne Park and couple we have met here in town, we are not at all partial to bears.
 "Dey ain't no use tellin' nobody nothin' any mo-" said Brunette Ike, moodily. "Jedgin' by de college pro fessah's salary dey ain no special value on information an advice. Have pretzel, Misto' Dixon."
 The pigmy party thinks he is being sat on or held back. Forget it! Noth- ing can hold a man back but his own limitations.
 Geo. w. Harben writes from Phoe- nix that we were out of date in our description recently of the tongue twisters which aspirants to the bar (of law) must master before admis- sion. The latest jurisprudence, he says, demands fifty hours practice during each semester of the follow ing:
 socks and shoes shines Susan. She ceaseth shining shoes and socks, for shoes and socks shocks Susan." George says if some such test as this had been applied at the other kind of bars (now obselete) and every man sent home as soon as he became unable to recite the above, prohibi- tion would have had no excuse for it's cruel act.
 The Philadelphia Ledger's headlines announced:
 Aged Tiger Married American Girl in England--Repeopling of France Clemenceau's Southern Tour Object"
 Three cheers and a Tiger. I've had many parties with Ethyl.
 I found her deceiving, but gay; l haven't met up with Methyl , And I trust she'll not stagger my
 way.
 I've little doubt Ethyl would floor me,
 Eventually, but she would stall And brightly pretend to adore me
 But Methyl gives no chance a-tall. Yes, Ethyl perhaps is as deadly
 As Methyl, but Ethyl's catfish: She reads me brain-dazzling med
 
 And feeds me soul-soothing dish. Twin Methyl's works raw--she just
 grabs you
 And throws you, and blows you,
 and bam! Right into the county morgue slams
 you,
 And fits, caring minus dam. I've been very happy with Ethyl,
 I'm sorry she slipped so, alas! But as for her rough sister Methhyl,
 l can't abide danes of her class. It goes 'gainst the grain, and l cen
 The passing of Ethyl, the dear; But when l am seeking adventure
 l hope Methyl never is near.
 "Missus is hurt" said a Flagstaff man the other day, because play fully and affectionately called her my little Pelican. Her December bills were so large, you know. Get it?"
 Every expectant mother should know of Elma, Iowa.
 "A Mrs. Baker, who says her home is in Chicago, came to town Thurs day and engaged room and board for 8 week at the hotel. On Saturday afternoon she gave birth to a baby girl. Il
 "The woman was penniless, and when the little girl arrived there was not even a little shirt for her back: Mrs. Wentz called on the board of and they consented to fur