Iron County news. [volume] (Hurley, Wis.) 1913-1950, 1920-10-09

as soon as / begin TO read, and my
wife comes and tells me my snoring is
disturbing the neighbors"
"It'aN that way with everything we
look forward to-" observed the hotel
Keeper, sadly. MAN always will be,
hut is never blest, as some half-baked
poet remarked. Young Gooseworthy
was In here last evening, hubbling over
with happiness. There wasn't any
hSiy around, SO he took me into his
confidence. He's going Ia marry
Gwendojn Jimaloug, next month, and
he's perfectly satisfied that his mar
ried life viii be one long stretch of
sunshine. He seems to have the idea
that he's going to do something orig.
inal when he gets married hut the
idea isn't new. Men have been getting
married ever since Christopher dis
covered Columbus, Ohio and every
doggone man jack of them had the
idea that everlasting bliss was going
to be inaugurated ON the wedding day.
~ listened TO Gooseworthy for three
hours, and hadn't the heart TO say
anything that would dampen his en-
thuSiasm His twitterng recalled the
long vanished days when | was get
ting ready to be married. ] felt about
il then Just as he does now | thought
the parson opened the gates of para
disc when he Joined two loving hearts
NV wife lived up 10 all the plans and
specifications. and was and is one Of
the best women IN the United States
hui ! hadn't been married three
months before I had sneakinE con
viciion that the man who gets married
IS a chump.
"A good many 0ptimists say that a
married man doesn't need any more
money than single one if he marries
the right sort of woman. but they
might as well 90 to the blackboard
and demonstrate that two aad two
make two instead ot four fell for
that cheerful theory when ] was mar
l1ed | was earning enough to keep
myself comfortably. and never had
any financial worries I could have
been buried for less money than It
took TO he married and the expenses
>ron that time forward were double
what they used 10 be, although my
Wife was so economical she used to
make waists and such things for her
self out of my superannuated shirts.
"Oh, doggonc II. there isn't any I'M
adulterated happiness in matrimony. !
wonder that young fellows like Goose
worthy don't look around them and
contemplate the detected appearance
Of the majority Of husbands. But even
if they did. If wouldn't do them any
good. I suppose, for they are full or
pipe dreams. aud thcy think the girls
they are going 10 marry are different
from al other girls. and That they viii
| prove exceptions 10 the general rule.
81 had IA wise old uncle in those hal
cvon days, and about a week before
the wedding day. he backed me into a
| corner and handed me dust-prO0f
package Of wisdom, He tried to lead
! me into taking sensible view Of the
| future. He talked about the cares and
responsibilities that would he mine
after tie wedding, and wanted to
know If felt equal 70 them. lie tried.
to show me that | wasn't going -
marry an angel, but II hra1an being
like myself. with "a taman beings
faults and f7ailucs.
81 let him get that far and then J
told him that his gray hairs alone
saved him from having his head re-
modelled and said I never wanted him
to darkcn my door, and he never did,
| had to darken it myself with wal
nut stain But many "A time after
ward, / recalled his wise wor6s and
| wepl over his grave"