Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1920-10-31
NOT TAKING IT TOO SERIOUSLY
Some Angles of the Passing Show That May Haze
Escabed the G,oon,s and Grouches.
By Kirk Miller.

November fireworks. Not much!
All they'll do will be to dig up all the
scandal which the neighborhood
write it down on their cuffs. This
select propaganda will enter the
booths along with the wrist watch,
and the spite vote will be terrific!
Msr. Gazumpp won't vote for the
democratic candidate for assistant
saw him butter a slice of bread whole
at the church picnic. She turned her
head before he swallowed it the same
way. These little traits Of dellcacy
fete. but we can't have the city hall
cluttered up with uncouth omcials
who part their hair in the middle and
carry matches back of their ears.
No. Mrs. GaZumpp is going to throw
her ballot to Prof !. Teer. who is
running on the CREASED plank. prof.
teer," az he is better known among
the poorer classes, wears a red vest
and a nose to match. He has grown
so robust since the war that they
his home to build a front door. In all
business shortcomings and short
changings his stanch motto is women
and children first"
candidacy is that nobody wants him
for the Office except himself.
Seeks Warden's once.
Honest Jimmy Valentine is another
of the swivel-chair seekers who 10
out for q soft job. The last govern
ment job he had was making little
ones out of big ones. Meals and
board, rooms and lodging were
thrown in with this important federal
commi ssion. and it embraced the fat
period of ten years with no time on
for bad behavior. Any banker in the
country can identify him and vouch
for his past. Instead of meeting his
friends with open arms. he always
met 'em with firearms. He Is running
for iajl warden.
Herman Hazzem. the town pump
and idiot extraordinary. has plunged
into the campaign with his eagle eye
post Of keeper Of the ZOO. Herman
has been dropped from the best clubs
in town for non-support. The Anal
gamated Association Of Mattresses 10
dining room failurestvix and to
wit-he always tips his soup bowl.
but never tips the waiter That's the
reason they call them walters. cause
they're always waiting for something
they very seldom get.
Running a mean eye down the venire
Of self-appointed unlikelihoods. we are
struckdumber at the name of Constant
lie Bumm, than whom there is none
more whomer. This cuckoo is a good ma
tured as the day Is short. His cam
paign expenses consist of a couple OF
last Christmas cgiar bands and two
fiat tires which he found on a telegraph
pole along with the rest Of the wreck
He hasn't announced yet what he is
running for. but his closest friends be-
lieve he is running for instance.
Record IL 1t stake.
He has never done a days work in his
life and nobody can understand why he
will run risk of besmirching his dou- .
ble-blank record by running for public
Office. If elected he will use all his
influence to have springs restored to
freight cars. and have knobs put on the
inside Of prison doors as well as the
outside.
If the administration suffers q change
in venue, Washington will see the great
est housekeeping since the flood. Pub
lie officials will be leaving by every boat
leaving Union station. Some OF 'em will
evaporate voluntarily and others will
jaunt along until the janitor starts
sprinkling tho sawdust. The exodus nm
be the fiercogt since the ex-kaiar
thought he was Napoleon ii.