Evening star., 1920-09-19

Other days the back-spacer is full Of
raisins and yeast cake and wants to
tell your past. present and future at
club rates.
Gazing into the keyboard is a pain
less way to secure inaccuracies as
to future vents. but if you want to
get the unadulterated dope twisted
up in a manner which would do credit
to a pretzil genii. try slapping the
names of the candidates on the blades
of an electric fan. The name on the
spoke which stops first is the NOM
de-plume of the person you are look
ing for.
Spinning an electric breezer Is one
way out of the woods or Hopping A
revolving door will get you just as
little, but as scientific arguments in
favor or against the candidates.
those processes are humdingerS COM
pared to some which you hear while
hanging around the old root beer
gardens where politics is the main
lubricant.
You can hear a pack of swell propa-
ganda against the league of nations
by keeping your one good ear close to
the dumb waiter. That seems to be
an appropriate place for an article X
debate. In the good old days the
dumb waiter was a highly respected
place where you could shout out your
desires and have them gratified by
tuS iCAt tIip the basement.
The old dumb waiter never was SC
dumb as it is today. You spiel out
your order and all you get 10 the
echo. A man can't work up a jag on
acoustics.
Another valuable earful Of near
facts which tapping the old speaking
tube has brought home to the scouts
is the sad news that the Federation
OF Homebrew Clubs of North Amer
lea is going to stand pat for a repeal
OF the eighteenth patch on the con-
sututional crazyquilt. They believe
what is good for the duke is cake for the
duchess, and IL our forefathers had the
right to go out and get so bazooned they
didn't know who they were voting for,
the present generation of goofs and
goofesses should have the same in
alienable prerogative.
The homebrew clinics are supported
IN this bi-tocaled theory by the John
Barle/corn Memorial Association, Inc.
All other things being equal which
they aren't, it looks as though the
biggest crop this fall were going to
be conversation.
Unless this typewriter is suffering
as the best typewriters do. the Tow.
er OF Babel was a deaf and dumb So
wet compared to the present flow of
politlcal passwords which don't pass
you anywhere. The guessing contest
is at its dizziest heights right now
The line forms to the left and you've
got two chances to lose. Don't feed
| peanuts to the candidates.
Bad news travels fast, as they say
up in Boston, where Ponzi is salted
away for good keeping-and bad news
| is going to be contagious about the
| first Wednesday after the first Mon
/ DAY In November when the truth
| leaks out. 'Thout naming any names
nor specifyin' anybody in particular
We advise all the demipublicans in
the works to put on their blue glasses
before they read all the news that's fit
| to print and a lot that amt
Maine republicans are celebrating
| their victory. but the dispatches don't
| say what with. Democrats were left
; in the cellar. but that's all the good il
| did 'em. 1t was one Of the most
unanimous sockings that ever rolled
| on the democratic shoulder-blades
| Sixty five thousand more cigar store
! coupons and it would have been a tie
DENIS" pulled in their outfielders
and 'Repubs'' sent Babe Ruth to the
bat. Wow-you tell 'em base ball, this
| typewriter speaks nothing but politics
From an administration blimp-view.
the Maine scuffle was a social blunder
| If elected, Cox will retaliate by can
| ceiling future Maine elections - if
! elected. Chicago riot most enjoyable
I since republican ku-klux clan ad-
tourned in June.