The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1920-12-01


front you. what ould you write?
| What the average woman wants to
know and the information she most
frequently seeks from her husband is
| whether the woman who has Just
passed is fatter than she is.
| And husbands have noticed that she
usually is. Otherwise. the question
would not have been asked.
| The Pleasure Is Ours.
| Sir-You are man to my liking.
| You never start anything you can't
| finish, Notably the dangerous cross
ing at Forty-sixth and Walnut treets.
your solving of that problem was mas
terly. You simply moved to another
part of the city. So 7 ask you to
| tackle three problems for me. They
will be easy for you.
How can I locate "Cyuwood," sta
ton on the Pennsylvania Railroad, for
which, according to the announcer in
Broad Street Station, a train departs
| every afternoon at 5:42?
| If at 6 o'clock in the morning one
desires to know if there is a, 1920 train
for Washington. and it requires forty
1 five minutes to reach Broad Street
! Station, twenty minutes to eat ones
| breakfast and fifteen minutes to DRESS
and Information at the 'Informa-
!
sound asleep the wide-awake and
| obliging telephone central cannot
waken him, what should one do?
Should one go without ones breakfast,
or without dressing, or should one take
| the 1892 train?
Il The barber in the Broad Street sta
ton assured me that one treatment of
certain facial concoction will make
me twenty years younger and remove
all the lines of care and age from my
I fe IL
| treatment and let me know the re-
suit? l should tell you that you will
have some difficulty in escaping from
the BARRIERS chair unless you take the
| treatment. CYNWYD.
| The column is at the command of
| its readers, but we shall make no
further attempt to reform the Penn
sylvania railroad. For ten years, from
cut vantage point in the "sticks,'' we
tlabored to uplfft the Pennsylvania sys-
| tenn. Following one scataing criticism
a special representative of the system
made trip half way across the couh-
| try to assure US that the road would
reform and that the things of which
We complained would arise to trouble
us no more. On the next succeeding
| trip over the Pennsylvania lines an in
credibly dirty waiter served us with
spoiled sweetbreads and we ate them
with silver, polished, in our presence.
the Pennsylvania at that poin-. We
do not intend to make any further eff
fort to save it.
In the matter of the tonsorialist in
| Broad Street station, we may be able
| interesting correspondent. We are
precisely the thick" type to which a
smart barber would attempt to sell a
facial massage. And there is nothing
we enjoy SO much. after we have simu-
lated feebleness in repelling his at
| tack, as TO remove gracefully and Ian
guidly the six foot of stature and the
1s0 pounds of avoirdupois when IS
ours from his chair and then poke him
violently and effectively in the left
eye. We prefer the left eye, but we
have no particular prejudice against
right. Which ever is handiest.
Wen take occasion to visit the bar
Der shop in Broad Street station some
afternoon soon. We'd be glad to have
some barber gentleman urge us to
take facial massage. If he should
try to force it upon us we'd love it.
Mr.. Sousa's Spirit Goes Marching On
Sir-Speaking of signs, here is one
over a bootblack's stand at Rockland
street and York road, Logan:
Il will rot shine ne shoes off the
feet Saturday or Sunday. J. H. N.
Joe Jackson. one of the heroes of
the shipyards, now denies he confessed
to a part in the throwing of the 1919
worlds series. Joe would.
Continuing the discussion of the ma
tional game, as some call it, our
further and probably our ultimate in
terest in Judge Kenesaw Mountain
Lands is vested in his efforts to collect
such fines as he may levy against the
ball players.
A man who couldn't get S29,00O,O00
out of John D. Rockefeller has fat
chance to file contribution off a ball
player.
Heaven hath no love like hatred |
turned, nor hell no fury to equal that
of a wo---an whose husband has been
scorned.
New York Tribune is trying Thomas J. |
Mooney again. Mr. Mooney is the |
well-known inmate of San Quentin !
prison who was convicted by a jury |
and acquitted three times by the |
New York Tribune
We predict the usual aequittal in the |
TribuHe's present trial OF the case |
altho We recall that the last time he |
was before it the editorial page of the /
Tribune "f1ung."
The column does not advocate d.
vorce, except for certain reasons, but /
it seems to us the fact that she is /
married to him constitutes ample |
grounds for Mrs. Hal Chase.
There is a good deal of grumbling |
about high prices. but 1t is going to |
be a good deal of blow to lot of us /
when We can't pay more than sfz for |