South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1920-01-04

There" exclaimed the widow
with a sigh OF relief, as she rose
from her desk. Its all over, The
last note of thanks has been writ
ten. the Christmas tree is down. and
all the holiday debris has been clear
ed out Oh. if I were only a man"
"Thanks-for the tributei," said
the bachelor cheerfully ensconcing
himself i'm the most inviting chair.
But I don't quite see the connec-
ton"
a mans life is such an easy.
care-free existence" explained the
widow wistfully." He IS never eX-
pected TO clean up things, nor pick
up things. nor find things. nor put
things away The stage is always
cleared for his entrance and after
his departure. He escapes all the
! ugly, disagreeable. narrowing. little
details OF life. He Is the most pam
pered being on the face OF the
EARTH"
"Humph.," returned the bachelor.
WHO goes around picking up all
the things that woman is con
! tinualIy dropping. I'd like to know
the fans. and haudkerchiefs and
vanity-cases. and hairpins, and
hints. and secrets, and"
ooh that" interrupted the widow
with a wave of her hand. THAT is
just a pretty, simple, little parlor-
| trick that we've taught you as a sop
10 our own vanity. woman just
loves 10 believe that she is a deli
| cate, helpless creature being wait
ed on and protected and having all
the burdens lifeted off her shoulders
| by a big, strong man, It's an OBJ
session with her. But when il comes
| to genuine helplessness and inertia
well, show me a man who has the
| energy and muscle 10 fix his own
| bath or find his own clothes. If he
can get a woman 20 do IL for him."
oh well. If you will spoil US"
began the bachelor defensively.
but we don't" retorted the
widow, Man spoils himself from the
time when ne begins throwing his
| toys on the floor for his nurse 70
pick up, 10 the time when he begins
hinging his shoes and cigar stubs
and newspapers around for his wife
to pick up"
Perhaps" admitted the bachelor.
But he only does il out Of kind
ness OF heart-jusJ 10 humor you"
What" exclaimed the widow.
half rising from her chair.
Ito give you something TO do"
answered the bachelor, calmly
blowing rings from his cigaret.
Cleaning up IS the one grand
passion Of woman's life. No girl Is
perfectly happy until she finds a
man 20 muss things up around the
! house for her. Why. even now, you
are talking Of cleaning up and
getting things nice and tidy the
| moment you get the opportunity.
The widow leaned back and smiled
a triumphant smile.
IF we don't" she retorted. lit
will be the first time in the history
of the world. that woman hasn't
had 20 clean things up after a man"
And yet" unused the bachelor
| with malicious CLINT in his eye.
did you ever see business mans
! desk that looked as much like the
| after effects OF an earthquake as
the average woman's dressing table ?
/ Did YOU ever see business Office
that wasn't the pink OF neatness
| and order
80 agreed the widow promptly,
But who keeps il that way?
charNvor1ian comes in at night nd
cleans up all the dust and debris. a
woman stcnographer comes down in
the morning and straightens out the
papers and girl fle-clerk puts
away the letters and documents. BY
the time mis- royal highneSs arrives
the stage is all set: and all he ha.
20 do is 10 sit IN swivel chair and
! smoke a cigar and contemplate his
own efficiency. He doesn't even nave
| Ia keep track OF his own appoint