The Washington herald., 1920-04-15
0TWo .as THREEfHN
81 ru.in6 N. Nest One ov-r with " IA
q. RBUGS RAERA -AAS

In order to enjoy today's
disorder spectators should be
on speaking terms with the
rules. Baseball has made nim-
BILE strikes since the Pilgrim
Fathers discovered that their
feet just fitted that fiat rock
up Plymouth way. In the old
days there were five rules on
each hand, and players exer-
cised the power of referendum
and recall on the ump by using
his skull as the foundation for
! a new brick bungalow.
but baseball is no longer
a weed growing in the garden
of civilization. They've suI-
rounded the game with rules
until IL looks like a raisin in
a vat of bevo. The old-time
gorilla who used to shake
hands with his spikes "ns given
way to the athlete who parts
his hair with the grain and
never speaks above a whisper.
in order to prevent the
pitcher from soiling the ball.
the rule crocheters have sue
ceeded in soiling the afternoon.
No pitcher can put a Cordovan
finish on the leather with the
aid of a borrowed chew and a
knowledge of chiropractics. IL
a ~ pitcher rubs the baseball
against his uniform it's a vio-
lation of ethics like a male toe
dancer. This rule is tough on
the twirlers who merely used
to scratch 'emselves in a friend
ly way with no thought of de-
ceiving the batter.
Throwing to first with no
runner on is a. ball. This will
compel the pitchers to divide
their attention between the
grandstands and the baselines.
The use of any chemical on the
ball is forbidden by the new
rules. The pitchers can detour
this amendment by drinking
ether or wood alcohol and then
breathing on the pill. There is
no law against tbreathing IL
you stay away from Ocean
Grove or Philadelphia on Sun
day. .
All the legislation seems
to be slung at the pitchers. An
infielder or outfelder can boot
'em railroad, Bronx or cuckoo
time, but a pitcher must make
his Qverthrows according to the
rules. The only mistake the
owners made this spring was
sending their pitchers South in
stead of to the Laughing Room
in the Carnegie Library.
The rule makers seem to
be be working with the idea of
making two teams lose one ball
game. The umpire wears two
rule boks for shin guards and
fines players ten alphabets in
stead of dollars.
1t may be baseball, but
the old-time bugs will soon be
yearning for the old days when
knuckles were bouquets and 4
sour decision was Immediately
swcetened up with a barrage of
young cobble stones.
The strike situation.
At J o'clock, Cuckoo Time.
Everything on the New
York Central except passengers
restored to normal. Two extra
stops made at Matteawan.
Pennsylvania system -
Loyal porters take place of
striking engineers.
Even break on the Eric
No trains, no wrecks.
-Lackawanna- One train
East and one train West. Both
on the same rtack.
Normal service on the
West Shore. No chance of i'm
provement.
-Lehigh valley-Through
service. especially on open
drawbridges.
Sixteen more pinochle
games started among ,Baltimore
g. Ohio employees. Lack Of rain
is injuring the milk train
service.
&c. r. of New Jersey is
running on regular ) schedule.
Loyal burglars take place OF
striking landlords.
New York. New Haven
and What For has cancelled
fifteen trains. Had TO borrow
three of the Pennsy to do 1t.
Through service on the
Long Island. That IL. the serv- =
ice Is through.
Tubes to Staten Island
are working on normal sched-
ule.
--Employes of Jersey City
Public Service Corporation de-
cided to walk out at eight in
the morning but oversight. It's
a victory for the railroads un-
ill the employees wake up.
Freight service on
Bronx subway locals tied up.
Passengers limited to three
suitcases one umbrella stand