The Coconino sun., 1920-04-30

How dear to our heart are the gags of our childhood, when wandering minstrels recall them to view
 Good mornin', brudder'n and sis tern. Did you enjoy all the old timers you heard at the minstrel show the other night? We did, though we didn't go to the show; but we knew what they all were sayin' and how they looked while they were sayin' it as if we were there on a front seat. Fr instance:
 "That fellow is one of the biggest guys in England. He's a nobleman." !" "Tha' SO? What's his title?" They call him Saturday, the Night of the Bath"
 Or, this one:
 q ain't hopeless case. The only hopeless case is twelve empties." Or this:
 My brother has a wooden leg" That's nothin'; my sister has ce- dar chest"
 And then when they get to asking questions:
 What is good to clean ivory?" "Try shampoo" Did your sncle leave much of an lestate?"
 q should say he did; almost gal lon."
 (Aplause and prolonged laughter, with here and there a furtive wiping away of tears.)
 An phwat toime do yez have breakfast, Num-"
 At 7::30, Bridget"
 "Then go right ahead an don't wait for me, Num-"
 These epitaphs ain't any older than most of the minstrelsy: At three score winters end l died, A cheerless being, lone and sad; The nuptial knot 1 never tied,
 And wish my father never had" Here lies a man that was Knott born, His father was Knott before him; He lived Knott, and did Knott die, Yet underneath this stone doth lie." q am anxiously expecting you-A. D.
 1927. Here I am!-A. D. 1S67." "Here lies the body of Lady O'Looney, Grand-niece of Edmund Burke, Commonly called "the sublime" She was bland, passionate, and re-
 ligious.
 Also, She painted in water colors.
 Also, She sent several articles to the Exhi-
 bition. She was first cousin to Lady Jones. And of such is the Kingdom of
 Heaven.-Amen."
 The Methodist church choir repeat ed their concert Thursday evening that they gave week ago. The weather was disagreeable both even ings, which helped to keep many away.-Plymouth, Ind, Republican. Probably the choir did the rest. Following is clipped from the Two Rivers, Wis, Chronicle:
 "Notice-All persons are hereby mo- tified that I will not pay any debts contracted by my wife.
 "J. w. Meyer. Before you go to war, pray once. Before you go to sea, pray twice. Before you get married, pray three times. J. w. Meyer. Adv" Earl Rakestraw says the meanest man he ever knew bit the wings off flies and sold the flies for currents. Les havea few chessnuts, real old and mellow ones:
 My wife's hair is so red that ,when she goes out in the yard at night the roosters take it for sunrise and begin to crow.
 An Irishman bought an alarm clock and told his wife all he had to do was to pull the string and he could wake himself.
 I had horse. His ribs rattled so it frightened him to death.
 won three races while I had him; one with the sheriff and two with the police.
 He was very sure-footed horse; he kicked me three times in the same place. !. A man was arrested for striking a match.
 Mother-in-law dying; son-in-law standing by her side. Her last words: Goodbye, my son; we will meet in heaven" That settled it; he stop ped going to church.
 I went into a restaurant today and had some catfish and waffes. l ate so much catfish that the kittens have been playing with me ever since. That beautiful little furry of snow Saturday morning inspired Skinny Jones to warble: Who vos it wrote abould der huebsche
 schnee
 Dot fall so pretty on der ground,
 und lay Undil somepoddy gomes init schnick-
 erschnee, Und mage a bush und shove de