New-York tribune., 1920-03-16
The Coming Towe7
The Deacon and the Sharper


Is the theme of my rhyme
A man Of no little repute in his time.
Having followed the sea
For score Of years, he
Then took to the land when nearing
his prime.
He declared 1t was true,
ALL his active life through,
That Heaven had informed him just
what he should do
: What crop he should try,
Or what horse he should buy;
And even in love 1t directed him, too.
When he woocd Betty Lee,
"Mistress Betty" spoke he,
"The will Of the Lord is that we are
sto we'd"
''1o His will I resign
. Any scruplcs Of mine."
"If you're sure, / can stand it," was all
Betty said.
Once the deacon averred
ne naQ naQ QlVlH0 WOrO
To give to the poor all the cows in
his herd
Bess, Brindle or Nancy,
As suited ones fancy;
And new-milch or farrow, whichever
preferred.
So day after day
ut is needless to say)
Came applicants thither in motley ar
ray;
From most Of the county
Folk sought for the bounty,
And tho pick of the cows were soon
driven away.
a sharper of Preston
Said, "Ill git the best on
This fool of n deacon, withaout bcin'
guessed on.
If they's caows goin' free,
Welcomes comm to me-"
He Dragged, as he started his keen
sighted quest on.
To the deacon he went,
Saying, "Deacon, Pm sent
BY the Lord to declare to ye, sir, His
intent.
Ye'rc to give me right naow
A tiptop new-milch caow;
An He's pledged to repay yo for all
thet ye've lent"
Said the deacon, "It's queer
That the Lord sent you here.
Twas the Father of Lies who misled
you, fear.
For the ones that I've got,
That are left of the lot,
Are two mean-looking runts that amt
calved for a year.
Though guided by Heaven-sent mes
sages, I'm
No miracle worker" quoth Lyman of
Lyme. G. s. B.
Just as our confidence In public
opinion had gone down for the third
time, C. B. D. writes thus: "The best
censorship is public opinion. Instance,
suggestive song this week at one Of
the small-time vaudeville houses. 1t is
really low-down and sneaky-about a
condition familiar to the poor-and
pretends to be an innocent song; but
few would fail to get the double mean
ing. The audience didn't even bother
to resent it; they simply did not
laugh when they were supposed to, and
at the end there were only few per-
functory handclaps. Pll bet the song
will be cut. Truly, the people know
how to damn thing without any show
Of virtuous indignation"
The public, we still think, is an ae-
gregation of jitney intellects; but not
nearly so lacking in taste and appre-
citation as those who pretend to give it
what they think it wants think.
Variation on an Old Theme
Hard liquor is an awful thing:
I like it,
Though like an adder It may sting
I love it,
1t steals away both fame and wealth;
It's lost me hearing, home. and health:
I have to get it now by stealth
But get it.
jim GARRETT W.
Tho upheaval in Berlin doesn't ex-
cite US as 1t should. Five years ago
last August we were equally serene
about the possibility of war, but the
war exploded, anyway. Besides, we
have lots of company. Yesterday
morning, Of six persons we watched
reading papers, none was reading the
news from Germany.
When a man actually knows some
thing about Politics and War, he
doesn't begin his answer, when some
one asks him "What do you think of
this German situation ?" with "Well.
I'll tell you"
If w. Hohenzollern gets back on the