davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-12-10
lake McIuke Saws

1t doesn't matter how cold 1t gets, the girl who
is wearing her first diamond ring doesn't need
gloves.
A young man can steal kisses. But an old
man has to buy them.
Before a girl has her voice Cultivated you
can't hear her yelling more than a half mile
away. But after she has it Cultivated you can
hear her yelling tor a mile and a half.
Some people leave old Common Sense in the
stable for weeks at a time. But they do not
forget to exercise old Damfoolishness every day.
The reason why a girl hates to be built like
the Corset Models in the advertisements is be-
cause a candidate hates to get votes.
The stork assigned to the Spanish Royal
Family must have busted a wing or gone lame.
years.
Away down in his heart every man expects
about SO, 900, 600 worth of Gratitude for Nine
Cents worth of Charity.
The trouble with having women on the Juries
is that some day a Husband and his Wife are
going to get on the same Jury. And that will
mean a hung Jury.
that he let's his wife do most of the worrying
about the Hereafter.
Another Damli:O Once upon a time there was a
man who could tell his troubles without ex-
aegeratiDg them.
Il woman has a clcck in the house IL IS either
half an hour fast or a quarter of an hour SLOW,
she can't remember which.
After a girl has settled the Man Question by
getting married, she begins to pay a little at
tention to the Woman Question.
Sometimes when a man is trying to throw his
whole soul into a thing he merely puts his foot
into it.
A prominent Stuff announces that women are
now filling mems shoes. Well. well admit that
some of them have pretty big feet.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-12-10
ROOSEVELT POST OFFICE.

The movement that has been started in the
Borough of Roosevelt following the recon-
mendation of Mayor Joseph n. Hermann in his
annual message. TO combine the two post offices
now known as Carteret and Chrome under the
single name of Roosevelt ought to have the
nearly support not only of the people of that
thriving borough. but of non-residents as well,
especially those who have business dealings
there and who use the mails.
As Mayor Hermann pointed out in his message,
the names Carteret and Chrome ceased except
I'm the Post Office Department. when those two
places were incorporated under a single bor-
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-12-10

ough government. Since the Incorporation OF
he borough the two places have grown together
in more ways than one: there is a common in
,erest and a common feeling there. The people
make UP one municipality and they are entitled
to that distinction on the part of the postal
authorities.
1t is embarrassing and annoying and cannot
help but be a detriment to the borough to have
two post Offices each under a different name. NO
\ one knows how to address a letter to a person
living there. The fact that he lives in I;oose-
yelt means nothing as far as the pos: Office is
concerned. His address may be Carteret or it
may be Chrome. but the post office officially
knows of no such place as Roosevelt in New
Jersey. Just which OF these two addresses a
person living in Roosevelt should have in order
that a letter might reach him with the least
possible delay no one knows unless he is very
familiar with the place.
Roosevelt has grown to be the third munich
pality in size in Middlesex county, supplanting
South Amboy for that honor. The last census
showed a population there OF 11.047. This,
without a doubt. entities the borough to free
mail delivery.
1t is time that the Borough of Roosevelt was
recognized by its right name. Its incorporated
title is Roosevelt and it has been under that
that it has made such wonderful progress.
Roosevelt is decidedly on the map everywhere
excepting in the matter of its post office There
is no legitimate reason why this should not be
brought nm to date to conform with the whole
progressive municipality.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-12-10
HEALTH

The AIl-American Conference, which called
together the greatest medical and social experts
in all three Of the Americas to do battle with
venereal diseases-the greatest single plague
that faces the world today-has come and gone
after a weeks session that will undoubtedly
have far-reaching effects throughout the west
ern hemisphere and even the eastern. For
Europe acknowledges the primacy of the United
states in the attack of the twin diseases.
Already the great English medical journals
and even the SNUG daily papers that think they
can suppress an evil by refusing to mention its
name, are demanding that Great Britain call a
similar conference.
The work of the conference was eminently
practical. Split into small groups of specialists
IL met each morning in separate groups to dis
cuss each and all of the problems that went to
make up the whole great problem, sorted out
the suggestions that we're vital and threw aside
the chaff, and then, at evening sessions. submit
ted the results for the discussion of the whole
body.
The problems were all vivid and vital; and tile
conclusions reached will go far to do away with
many of the perplexities that must be faced by
those who lead the attack against the enemy.
Later, after reviewing the great fund of Informal
tlOn dlIeduy accumulated II lHt BSN VI NHt az
cessions gained during the meeting, the confer
ence mapped out a tentative plan for a prac-
ticable and flexible three-year program for ALL
America warfare on the disease.
1t is of course, too much to hope that such a
plan devised for so many different peoples and
climates should prove perfect; but it will GER
tainly go far to supply a basis on which each
country can build in accordance with it's par
ticular conditions.
While there was naturally some difference of
opinion on some of the details of the work on
venereal disease control, the conference was
unanimous in urging a franker discussion of
this serious health menace than has hitherto
prevailed.
1t is to be regretted that more interest has
not been shown in the clinic that has been
established in Perth Amboy in an effort to eradi-
cate venereal diseases. Every effort should be
made to have this clinic function as it should.
Perhaps a little less hesitancy in talking about it
might help some. At any rate, the work so well
started ought not to be allowed to stop.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-12-10

of many minor basins. of which the
chief is that of the Great Salt Lake
of Utah.
Q. Where are some of famous OBJ
servatories?-R. G.
A. Some of the great Observable
ries in the world are the Naval OBJ
servdtory in Washington, ID. c., and
the Royal Conservatory. Greenwich,
England. Similar institutions are
established al Paris. Berlin, Pull
kavo, near St. Petersburg; PotsdaI,
Germany. and Mt. Wilson, Califor-
MIA.
between Canada and the United
States?-N. N.
A. The Customs Division OF the
United States Treasury says that
because of provisions made in 1918
and n reciprocal agreement made
between the two countries in 1917,
there is no tariff on wheat between
them at this time.
@. Where may / buy some Of the
material used by the p~cstoffice de-
partment for mail sacks?-T. B. S.
A. The postoffice department says
hat the cloth used in their mail
sacks is manufactured for them ex-
clusively. Similar material may be
purchased from other manufactur-
ers.
@. What is Saint Grouse's Day?
Il. NJ. G.
A. This is an English sporting
term used of the 18th day of Au-
gust. when the shooting season
opens.
Q. What is an amalgum arc?-
II. II. NJ.
A.This is an arc in a vacuum
tube having electrodes of mercury
amalgamated with zinc, cadmium.
OF other metal. The spectra of such
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-12-10
RIPPING RHYMES
BY Walt Mason.
TO c \

The well known smoke of battle has fully
cleared away. and now let's feed the cattle
their predigested hay. Let's quit the weary
spelling of high affairs of state, and fix the
kitchen ceiling. and paint the garden gate.
We hoped to see elected the statesman we
adored, and most of us neglected sane labors
while we roared. And now the smoke of
battle.i is gone. to my delight: from Bangor to
Seattle there is no smoke in sight. Let's can
the Vital Issues, for now they seem absurd,
and all the WOODY tissues of falsehoods that
We heard: and let's forget the ranting and all
the old turmoil, while we get busy planting
fail nutmegs in the soil. Now argument is
useless. it's futile and it's wrong; and facts
are stale and juiceless when they've been
chewed too long; AMI when were done, cam
paigning, and all our votes are cast, oh. let
us quit complaining about a misit past.
Look forward. oh, my neighbor. and tighten
up your belt, and tackle useful labor, dog
gone your measly pelt. We all were Tuning,
fretting. before election day; now we should
be forgetting the dead things laid away: now
let us show the splendors of effort safe and
sane, until our best suspenders are broken by
the strain.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-12-10

arcs contain the bright lines corre-
sponding to the metals in the cleo
trodes.
O. What is meant by calling a
man a sulphite ?-E. Z.
A. This is a name applied TO a
person who is spontaneous n orig
inal in his habits of thought ana
conversation.
@. Which state is known as the
Centennial state?-L. c. c.
A. This name is applied to Colo
RADIO, because of the fact that this
state was admitted to the Union in
the Centennial year-1S76.
@. l would like the date OF Easter
Sundays. S.
A. Easter Sunday will fall on
March 27th. in 1921.
.. When was the Grolier Club
started?-A. l.. X.
A. This society of bibliophiles
vas founded in New York city in
1884. The objects of the club are
literary study and the promotion
of the arts of typesetting. printing
and the binding of books. i
Q. France and Denmark are rais-
ing money by of lotteries.
Can people in. the United States
buy these lottery tickets?-P. OR.
A. The P~ostoffice Department
says that the passage of lottery tick
cts through the United States mail
is prohibited.
Q. What is the origin of the term
"halcyon days?"-E. d. G.
A. This name was given in an
cient times to the eve days before
and the seven days which follow the
shortest day of the year. The hall
cyon bird. or kingfisher. was sup.
posed to nest at sea in a floating nest
, at the time of the winter solstice,
a period of calm and tranquility be-
ing provided for it's convenience.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-12-10
The DoIefuI Artist.

The DoIefuI Artist.
The artist is a clever man,
Yet he's devoid of cheer,
Since he's discovered that he can
Not draw a glass of beer.
Luke MeLuke.
lie fears his talents on the wane,
His soul is filled with dread;
He. though he tries with might and main,
Can't paint the old town red.
Newark Advocate.
And yet he should be satisfied
He shows no sign of death
For while he can't draw very much
He sure can draw his breath.
Hastings (Neb.) Tribune.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-12-10
A. NUISANCE,

The usual decennial nuisance and expense is
about to be showed off on the people. Congress
man Eiegel of New York announces that he is
bringing into the short session a bill to add
fifty members 10 the House of Representatives.
based on the 1920 census. rs he is head of the
appropriations committee, it is likely that this
useless bit of expensive plumber will be tackled
onto the governmental system.
The House of Representatives is now, of
course. at least twice as big as efficient opera
ton would justify. The only reason for add
ing fifty new members it to prevent a few states
from having their representation cut down
slightly.
1t would be infinitely better If the number of
representatives, instead of being increased,
could be cut to about 200. But the useless ex-
travagance will be practiced unless people all
over the country register immediate emphatic
protest. Even. so, it may do no good. The next
election is far away. Congress is filed with
lame ducks and reelected members who are
not worrying about what the people think now.
Thomas Edison puts his feet in SO shoes. but
a million-dollar hat would not be too expensive
a covering for what he has at the other end Of
his body.
That noise at the back door is not a wolf but
an eighteenth amendment fox trying get into the
cellar.
Experts say there's to be a shortage of meat.
Small steaks will be smaller and short ribs
shorter.
The altruistic content of the world seems 10
have been reduced to less than half of one per
cent.
Swelling is not always due to infection. 1t
is often due to the caliber of a mans brain.
Turkey was distressed about her future. 1t
wouldn't have been much longer before she
would have been Greece.
Houston, Tex. will have a Merry Christmas
but no Cherry Christmas since the dry squad
seized the branded fruit.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-12-10

@. What are the flower and gem
symbols of the months of December
and January?-G. /. II.
A. The flower for December is
holly, and the gem. turquoise; for
January the flower is the snowdrop,
and the gem. garnet.
@. Is the Great Basin" the part
of the country around the Great
Lakes. or is it out west somewhere :?
IT. G..
A. The Great Basin" is made up
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-12-10
TO QUESTIONS

Any reader can get the answer to
any question by writing The Perth
Amboy Evening News Information
Bureau. Frederic j.. Haskin. Direc-
applies strictly to Information. The
bureau cannot give advice on legal,
medical and financial troubles. III
does not attempt to settle domestic
troubles. nor to undertake exhaus-
tive research on any subject. Write
your question plainly and briefly.
Give full name and address and en-
lose two cents in stamps for return
postage. All replies are sent direct
to the inquirer.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-12-10
Lines Written in a Blind Tiger.

The bobolink bobbled his brug brimodaire,
And frabbled his fungo oZwando;
He spuzzled and chugged his lig mifflgaire,
While pandigging his frazzo manando.
His mugship however, galog on the siller,
Quainsagged his plag into mink;
But the ginsook cofldiggered and pigpled the
briller-
Twas the fob of the sol bobolink.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-12-10
NOwi

In Norwood. Ohio, there is a butcher who
butches both meat and the English language.
The other day a lady bought a piece of veal and
wanted the butcher to cut off one end, she
claiming that the end was stringy. The butcher
argued that the whole piece of veal was tender
and said:
Lady, I hat been a butcher for dirty years,
yet, and you can belief me ven L say to you
dot Won side of the meat eats just so nice as the
other side eats"
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-12-10

Get the HOOK!
Mrs. Fish Asks Police to Find Daughter, Miss
Bass.
Headline in Indianapolis News.
We were Just wandering if her name is Min
ME, or If she is a whale of a girl. We know
that her mother is a white Fish, but we hope the
daughter isn't built like a shad, and we hope
the police won't founder around and look gog-
gle-eyed and pike on this job.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-12-10

The country blacksmith. seems 10 me,
Is busy as the dickens;
when he's not shoeing horses, he
is busy shooing chickens.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-12-10
Ooofi

prohibition might have saved the Roman
Empire." said the man in the Frock Coat.
"How do you make that out?" asked the man
with the Red Nose.
"Wasn't Caesars death due to too many Ro-
man punches? ?" demanded the man in the Frock
Coat.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-12-10
oh!

"Wbat is this Automobile Dance l see adver-
tised." asked the Old Fogy
Must be some sort of a breakdown, | guess"
replied the Crouch.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-12-10

A fellow lives
To learn this news:
Red liquor gives
A man the blues.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-12-10

Fair Warning.
Please bear this in mind
And do not get hot;
Though Love may be blind,
The neighbors r not.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-12-10
EtOoeyi

They were chatting in the crowded street car.
do you know that every soul has a distinc-
tive color? % said the Theosophist.
NO, [ didn't" replied the Rounder, as he
gasped for air. But l do know that every soul
has a distinctive odor."
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-12-10
(.OSll!


Sisn in window of a fish store in Baltimore:
"Our Fish Cannot BE Approached"
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-12-10
Names Is Names.
Iona Fox lives in Milwaukee, Wis.
Our Daily Special

Our Daily Special.
When A Man Offers a Woman Attention. She
Should Look Out For His Intention
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-12-10

Though many suitors would persist
In chasing sweet Miss Mills,
h married a chiropodist,
And let him foot her bills.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-12-10
Get the Hook!

OF course it is only natural that Carrie Beers
should live in Milwaukee.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-12-10
BITS OF BYPLAY
Ho, Hum!
nv Luke McLuke.

Copyright. 1920. by The Cincinnati Enquirer.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-12-10

Thomas Edison puts his feet in Sc shoes. but
a million-dollar hat would not be too expensive
a covering for what he has at the other end of
his body.
The Harrison times., 1920-05-15

personality and superior ability on the
stump, and the state may we'll LOOK
forward TO being highly entertained
during the next three months. y
These larger offices will OF course
occupy the center Of the stage, but
there Is a number OF minor state and
district Offices that will be watched
with keen interest. This is especially
true OF the race for State Auditor,
with three aspirants for the place
now held by Hogan Oliver. For Sc.
cretary of State. Ira Hopper the young
Montgomery county attorney. contin.
ues TO go ii alone" although others
have been mentioned There have
been rumors that Chief Justice Nc
Culloch might have opposition, but
so far it has not developed.
There are at least four interesting
contests devolping for Congress, and
there may be others. One of these
is in the Seventh district, with two
candidates after VIII GoOdwin's job
-Tillman Parks and John L. Carter.
John Carter resigned as private Sc
cretary to Gov. BrOugh to enter the
race, and made his opening speech
at Hamburg last Saturday.
The Harrison times., 1920-05-15
BAD BACK TO-DAY?

Backache is usually kidney-ache and
makes you dull, nervous and tired.
Use DOan's Kidney Pills for weak kid.
neys-the remedy recommended by
your friends and neighboB.
Lonnie Walden, locomotive fireman,
4O2 n. Elm St, says: 81 had a bad
spell with my kidneys about three
months ago and | was laid off from
work for about week. My back was
stiff and lame and was always worse
when | got up in the morning. My
kidneys acted too frequently and |
had severe pains in the top and back
of my head and felt tired all the time
until | began using DOans Kidney
Pills, which | got at Coffman & Kir,
by's Drug Store. This remedy was
not long in showing results. After
using nearly two boxes, | was we'll and
sound. | have had no return of kid.
ney trouble. | am certainly glad to
recommend Doan's Kidney Pills"
Price 60c, at all dealers Don't sim.
ply ask for a kidney remedy-get
Doans Kidney Pills-the same that
Mr.. Walden had. FOster,MilbuIn Co.,
Mfgrs., ~ Y.
The Harrison times., 1920-05-15
How the Republicans Stand

There seems to be a new deal on
with the G. O. pat least, on the
surface The Republican leaders up
North have announced that they do
not want tainted money" from the
corporations and protected interests
to pay the expenses of their cam
paign. But they propose to raise
their campaign fund by popular sub
scription They looked over the Ar
kansas situation and sized up the Ar
kansas contingent at about 100000.
But the Arkansas Republicans went
over the top" with a subscription of
SS3, 900 to be used in their attempt to
unseat the Democrats
The Republicans are not able to
agree among themselves in Arkansas,
any more than they are in the ma
ton. The entire delegation to Chicago
will go uninstructed, and be left free
to vote for any one they please. 1t
is predicted by the party leaders that
the delegation. IS in all, will be split.
Wood has some strength among them,
probably Hi Johnson may be able
TO carry a few votes, Dut it is said
that the majority Of the delegates are
outspoken for Gov. Lowden.
The Harrison times., 1920-05-15
ISSUES APLENTY IN
THE 1920 CAMPAIGN
BY CLIO HARPER.

LITTLE ROCK, May 8-There are
issues aplenty for the campaign in
Arkansas this year, judging from the
attacks that are being made upon
most of the existing state departments
especially the Commissions They are
game for every candidate to shoot at.
Whoever is elected, it is almost a
certainty that there will be strong
recommendation in his inaugural ad-
dress for the reformation, re-organiza-
ton, the amalgamation, modification
or elimination of most of the Com
missions that have been created in
the state since the custom started sew
eral years ago.
The attacks of the candidates are
centering upon the Highway Commits
sion, the Corporation Commission and
the Tax Commission. Not much has
been said yet about the Fish and
Game Commission but there is plenty
of time yet The state Board OF Con-
troll is also coming in for its share
of attention and the biennial stand
by of the political candidate, the Pen
itentiary Commission, is not being neg
lected.
Pardon records, extravaganza, extra
sessions of the legislature, and the
budget system are among the other
things that supply the candidates with
unlimited material with which to en-
tertain the voters.
But the flock of candidates for Gov
ernor are not monopolizing public at
tention. Senator Kirby and Congress
man Caraway, who opposes him for
reelection, are very much in the lime
light. Mn Caraway has made his
opening speech at Benton, and Sena-
tor Kirby is looking over the ground
to set his battery of big guns for
the opening engagement Their res.
pective attitudes toward the War and
the Treaty of Peace with siderefer.
ences to their ability as statesmen, ap.
pear to be the principal things being
considered by the candidates, although
each one deals extensively with the
great constructive policies that must
be put into effect to save the Coun.
try from the impending crisis.
Both Congressman Caraway and
Senator Kirby are men of stirring
The Harrison times., 1920-05-15

-WANTED-A resident salesman
for your locality A man between %
and 80, industrious, steady and good
health, we'll educated, ambitious. Re.
sponsible position to travel this ter.
ritory for the largest and oldest es.
tablished business of lis kind. Initia-
tive management and good Judgment
necessary. The man We want is not
n0w out of job, 5ut is employed in
responsible position bat with limited
opportunities. The man we employ
must be willing to make sacrifices in
the beginning until ne has mastered
this business Remuneration will be
commensurate with intelligen. effort
put into action. Must be able to earn
from $4,000 to $4,000 yearly on COM
mission basis. Must furnish autOmO.
bile or horse and buggy Give refer
ence and surety bond. He Will be
given personal coaching and every as
sistance to make good. Road eXper.
ience not absolutely necessary if he
is made of the right stuff, Give age,
experience and present occupation.
Write or call Vanden j. Wiley, dis
trict manager Dayton "Moneyweight"
Scale Co., 373 South Main Street,
Memphis. Tenn. w5-6-29