The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1920-02-16

Mrs. Hews was at our house to see ma this aftirnoon, and I sat there watching them tawk on account of not having enything elts to do, and they started to tawk about cooks an l things, ma saying, Well they can say wat they wunt, but I wouldent trust the best servant in the werld to keep my house in order, I go over 1t my self every single day, and if there's a speck of dust enyware, it flies, can jest tell you.
 I dispize all 4zinS5s of dust, and if there's one thing I dispize more than enything elts, it's cob webs, sed Mrs. Hews. Being a big fat lady with hardly eny lap, and ma sed, O, cob webs, so do I, I simply cant stand them.
 Say ma, I sed, know ware there's a hole buntch of cob webs
 Benny, you mussent interrupt wen ladies are tawlzing, sed ma looking serprized as enything.
 Well I do, ma. I bet there's at 1eest 10 of them, at leest, all in one place seld.
 Benny, sed ma.
 And maybe 12, I sed-
 Benny, did you jest heer me tell you sumthing? sed ma. And Mrs. HeWs cawffed as if she was thinking of sum thing eIts, and I sed, But gosh, G, ma, you awt to see them, do you wunt to know ware they are?
 No. leeve the room imm eed1tfy for being so disobedient, sed ma loud as enything.
 Wich I started to do, saying, We'll, G, gosh, ma they're on the ceellnT of the automoheel garage up on -" s\y Avenue.
 All rite. all rite, you don't sippose thawt they were in heer enyware, do you? ser ma.
 Yes mann, I sed. And I kepp on going out and ma and Mrs News started to tawk about how high diTrent things cost more than they used to. l Pockits. 1 Peeoles .DockiCs are one of the mos private parts of their clothes, and | 1 you wawked up to som ebody and sed Wats you got in your pickits? it would 1 be one of the most impolitest things
 you could do and nobody wouEd tel
 YOU enyhow If you stood on 8 cor ner long enuff, you would see hun dreds of strangers go past and eacl 1 one would have about 10 poc1kfts ant vo,1 wouldent know wat was in en! of them, and maybe some of tn strangers wouldent even know them I.selves, unless they looked to see. | Bows generally have something il all their pockits, awffen incloodinl their hands, espeshilly wen they SC l gerls coming down the street an' they vunt a ixcuse not to tip thei hats in puolick. in case it makes then nerviSs.
 Ii Men awffen go erround without eny thing in their vest poclEts, being grate waist Gecls don't hardly eve have eny pockits, and even wen the ldo there's never enJ7thing in them bu a tiny little bit of a hankerchiff, prov ing gerls don't think of enything bu stile.
 . Wen a fellow pulls everything or ; of one pants pocsit looking for sum thing, he is libel to pull out more tha you would ixpect, sutch as tops, on without a, peg, 2 top cords, peece string rolled up and a loose peece wit . nots in it, 4 diffrent size rubber banc ) not erround enything, g. pen nife, stumps of pencils one with a rubbe : on the end, a cent, 3 tooth picks, ] hankerchiff, a nale, the top oil or l sassaparilla bottle, diffrent shaE , pens one rusty, , stamps frum diffrei ) countries, the hammer part of g. han , mer, and some loose dust, and son
 other things.
 = In winter 3t don't matter wat -
 put in your pociIits, but in sur s1
 is bad to put chocklit candy, -~e, butter.