The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1920-03-18
THINGS To IlRINK.

THINGS TO BRINK.
 Wen persin gets thersty the ferst thing they t1lir!. of is sumthing to drink, .As soon as they drink it they start to think Of other things agen if they wunt to, proving that Nature never lets enyho3y die of therst with out ther1 knowing. it., Ore ot tho most popular drinks to drink is lemrrinade, but jest because you see some lenn in skin floating on to3 of it, that don't say it's full of lem min jooce, witch it generally aint Lemn:nade that hasent got enun lem mfrs it it gelrily hasent got enuff sugar either, thus taking your mind off of the facs it aint got enuff lem a[e and cake.
 CaN-fee makes peoples harts beet faster than wat the doctor wunts them to, and they say they're going to stop drinking t and dont>
 Tee was invented by the Chineez and still has Chireez writing on some of the packidges. Children are allowed to drink tee half full of milk, not being hutch of a priviiidge>
 Coco is a pr:tty good of a drink if it's enuf coco in it, wich it awffen hasent- Some people call coco chock1it to make it sound as if it taisted better.
 Milk is supposed to be good for chill deTn, pro5erfy being the reason wy they would drather drink sumthing eIts :nsted Milk comes frum COWS, but not cold milk even if the COW is standing in snow at the time. Babies don't get enything to drink but milk and Gont find out wat they missed till yeers afterwerds.
 Waiter is one of the. best drinks and would proberly be hutch more famous if it WaSent so free.
 Us fellows was setting on my frunt steps waiting for sIlTnibOdy to think of Sumt hing, and FiatfoOt the cop started to come down the street, Skinny Mar tin saying Hay fellows, do you know wat I tell you wat, lets pertend we are all poisoned and fool Fiatfoot.
 Wich we started to do, all holding our stummicks from the outside and making awfiIl faces and bending away over and trying to look poisoned, and FIatfoot stopped going past and stood there looking at us, me saying, Gosh. owtch, I wonder what was in those things we ate
 And all the fellows started to make poisoned sounds, and Flatfoot sed, Wats the matter hope you kids hav- ent been eating eny of those poison olives I've bin reeding about in the pa per wats you bin eating?
 Olives, sed Puds Sinkins.
 Poison olives, sed Leroy Shooster.
 Ware did you get them? sed Flat foot, and I seej. We found them in bottle. and Faatfoot sed, Aint you got eny better sents than to eat sumthinS you pick up on the street, wat did they look like?
 Funny, sed Puds Simkins.
 Poison. I sed. And we all kepp nak- I,O11irc- oJJr StlJmmickS on the outside, and F'latfoot sed, l don't know wat to do, I geSs I awt to ring for the patrol waggin and take the hole crowd of you to the hosplttle' Witch we all started to make the fearsest faces and the most poisoned sounds yet, hoping he would, and jest then sumbody sed, Wats all the K citeTnent, officer? Being pop standing there with MT. Sinp'-ins, and I quick got all rite agen, saying, think l felt poisoned. pop, hut I don't think so now. He neither, sed PuGs Simkins, and his father sed, You come with me. And he tooka hold of the back of Pudses coat collar and started to push him home, and pop sed, I think the boys have bin putting one over on YOU. offfcer---Benny, inside. Wich quick started to do, and the other fei- lows all jumped up and ran like the dickens in opposite direc1tions, and the last I saw FIatfoot he was stil rs:anding there almost looking poisoned himself.
 Last nite, about F o'clock I was asleep and I >woak Ep on account oI thinking I herd a bell ringing, wich did. being our frunt door bell, me thinking, Gosh, it must be out of or der. accordin it must be ringing all b1 itself.
 ArF I went to sleep agen for cup Dle of minnits and woak up agen ane inc bell was still ringing, me thinking kEaybe somebody put a pin in it, ha1i ca1Yt ring without sumthing ring ing i-.
 Wich it cant, and I 1ent to sleel agen. and the next time I woak up herd pops voice all the way dowl stairs ard l thawt, Gosh. it must O bin pop. And ] quick got out of be and went down stairs in rn: pidjam mers and the parier window was opel and pop WAS setting on the windoy s-:I with his leg on the outside and D-eac crrar- was stSIdins out ther holding one cf pops feet. pop saying But confow1d it ar blast it, I say, live heer and ! rang the bell for 1nfnnits without stopping and every tody must be either ded or def, c both.
 I don't know nuthing about that, a I know is I cayet you trying to clm throo this heer parler window. sed tn pleeceTaan-
 Hello pop. watts the matter, pop? sed.
 An, heers my little boy, he awt know whether live heer or not, com over heer. Benny, sed pop Wich did. ant the pleeceman sed, Is tn TOUT father?
 Sure, aint you. pop? I sed, and pc sed, Certainly I am. confowrd it s,Tiste-s, and the pleeceman sed, Tha all I wunt a Identification.
 Well that's all you're going to get. SC pop. And he took his foot out of u nleeoemans hand ard came in ar hanged the windows down, sayin Does everybody in this house slee with their hands over their ears aI their heds under the covers?
 Was that you ringing the bell all Il time pop? I sed-
 Tee gods, have you auxilly got u consImrnack nerve to stanrI there al tell me you herd that bell all the tim sed cop, and I sed. No sir not all il time, I went to sleep 2 or times al