South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1920-06-13

" AtAA tuk WHAT mat bNANAAb Oh
the river front at the NJ. w. Mix
residence is for. NJ. w. might think
we were unduly curious were we
20 approach him on the subject, so
We take a guess at IL as a summer
residence for the family.
Mary Pickford Fairbanks ard
Douglas Fairbanks Pickford are
now I'm New York, and the reporters
say they are still in loves delirium
tremendous. Cupid puts 'em all
in a trance in June.
Who's On The Outside?
The republican platform objects
10 dictation from the outside" on
the Irish question. AS Ireland 49,
always has been, and always will
be an integral part Of Great Britain.
and as other countries which would
seek 10 butt in are on the outside"
the matter would seem 20 be easy
Of settlement.
Mr.. Bryan attended the republi-
can convention, but was not justi-
fled in shifting the republican can
didates for frumental doors There
was every scent in that gathering
we are told. from hamburger to
limburger. A bloodhound would not
have been able 10 locate any speci-
fic fragrance unless he kissed the
delegates.
One Missourian testifies he got
the money. but didn't know IL was
Lowden money. When it's money
the Missouri republicans don't even
insist upon being shown.
Don't mistake the situation
Whenever a teacher wants more
dollars, it is a sign that she wants
more cabbage, chicken salad and
snow considerable interest in eating
about three times day.
A Kentucky raider has discovered
a way 10 put an end TO mOonshin-
ing. He says IL can be accomplished
by killing off the tOpers. The way to
kill the topers is TO shoot the moon
shine into them. but we suppose a
good many Of them prefer crema-
ton to picking.
One prophet says that It WON'T
be so very long until skirts will drag
the ground again. We don't believe
il. From now on TO the end OF time
il will be necks and legs. Custom
may even demand that the g" in
legislature be given the hard sound
Here is a republican orator who
declares that never were dinner
pals so well filled as now Not so
II is a time OF fat pay envelops and
lean dinner pals
Peace is always going to be diff
cult to make so long as men would
so much rather fight than woTk.
Lend a hand toward making this
weeks firemen's convention the
biggest thing ever pulled off in the
county.
Reading over the platform adopt
ed by the republican party the past
week. we are inclined 70 think the
Grand Old "Piehunters" ought to
change their emblem from that OF
an elephant 10 a jackass.
The report that the president OF
France fell from a train window is
good circumstantial evidence that
liberty still lives in France. Why
are Americans no longer permitted
10 fall from train windows?
49,
Keep your mind. heart and pat
riotism SO healthy that democracy
/ will seem like wine instead Of castor
I oil But even IL IL tastes like castor
/ oil, be sure II will do you good.
Rss
When potatoes reach Is cents a
pound. it is time for humanity 10
/ sever relations with the spectators
and have heart-to-heart talk with
/ old Mother Earth.
The trouble is that everything
that is cut from the bathing suit
is added to the price.
We emphatically deny librarians
are thin and sickly. OF course. we
only judge from those we know To-
cally, and they are a hefty bunch.
Some fresh automobile salesman
sold Smithy. OF restaurant fame. q
car which was supposed 10 rur
without juice-but ask Smithy
I about IL.
VISITING PARENTS.
Charles Goethals. who is attend
ing the Northwestern college al
| Chicago has arrived home TO visi;
Goethals, POI S Smith st.