Omaha daily bee., 1920-11-19
Hew to the Line, let the qups fan whereN they may

AS graduates Of the school OF Journalism will
annual occasion to- refer to that carol, they
merry"
Better Than Gold.
Sir: The psychology dept reacts that Miss
Pearl Button Is no longer student here; on the
other hand, there is confirmed rumor of the
continued pertinacity to her studies Of Miss
Evelyn Leggo. Then I recently sold a Tahiti
Toot-Trombone (my dear, you should hear IT'D
to Miss Mabel Coffee,> who during sabbaucal
summers settles down at her ancestral estate,
Coffee Grounds'S The professors of architec-
ture in recent quiz found from student paper
that the purpose of the Egyptian pyramids was
"to hold the esophagus Of the Pharaohs." These
things come to me, sir as they do to you. What
do you get from writing for the Lne-money?"
I was asked at a rhetoric tea lately. NO. re-
Piled social prestige" RIO.
"ONCE and sometimes twice day." we
read, Mr.. Wilson is massaged by a masseur.H
The very person for the job, we should say.
DOWN TO GEHENNA OR UP TO THE
THRONE. He TRAVELS THE FAST
EST WHO TRAVELS ALONE"
(From the Rockford Regster-G Gazette.)
Practical n6rse wants to work for some
one who Is going to warmer climate For
est $685.
GEN. WRANGEL seems not to have been
able to, please many of the people much OF the
time That way lies the toboggan.
The Bitter Endians. -
(From the London Nation)
If a democracy. has to- be drilled for the
eventual task of one day destroying a, dangerous
commercial and naval rival, then the relentless
solve to keeR green the recollection of every
outrage and every infraction of the laws of war
that can bes charged against him, the resistance
to every proposal for cooperation and reconcil
iation in the field Of science and scholarship,
is reasonable and even necessary. though 1t may
also be outrageously wicked Our "bitter
Sendans'' are guilty of this wickedness without
a reason. They cannot desire to "smash" Ger
many again, and yet they are cultvating the
emotions appropriate to such a policy. This is
sententality, for it is feeling, and very i'll
feeling deliberately cherished, and prolonged
for NO national purpose, however evil.
= WE'LL agree that it ought not to be done.
We will go further, and say that it ought not to
be Sdone, even when it is as we'll assured as
anything can be thai. if Germany were on top
she would -beacultivating a bumper crop of hate.
THE SECOND POST.
(They knew it all the time)
ITO saXe you the trouble of writing US when
you receiva the envelopes for the new catalog
pamphlets that said envelopes do not fit the
pamphlets this is to advise you that we know
they do not fit. We were unable to pick up any
that would fit and we did the very best could
We trustyou will get along as best you can with
them" -t
NOBODY knows everything, so we shall
have to ask how Dean Inge pronounces his
name.
They Can't Pull This Stuff on Smart Folks
(From the Holton, Kan, signal)
How would you like to pay nine hundred
and sixty dollars for two gallons of whisky?
Nobody in Holton would pay that price, but
that is what fellow who said his name was
John Custer tried to get for it here last
week. Tho fellow put up at the Suther-
land hotel and at once began to look around
for customers to whom he proposed to sell
the old reliable brand of Taylor" whisky
at sixty dollars per gallon, but the men who
were familiar with the brand, which in
time gone by they had purchased at four
dollars a gallon, were shocked at the price
asked, and word was passed to the sheriff
that there was profiteer in town and he
was placed under arrest After the arrest
of Custer his room at the Sutherland hotel
was searched by the officers, who found a
two-gaon jug under his bed. When the
whisky was poured out it, was discovered
that instead of there being two gallons,
there was only a pint and Iepeated shakings
y failed to produce any more. When the bot
tom broken it was found that the jug
had been filled nearly to the top with layers
\ Of sand and sawdust to make it the proper
weight and on top of this was a layer of
waterproof cement, leaving enough space
in the top to hold a pint of whisky.
NOT bad definition of philosophy, from a
high school exam paper: philosophy is say
ing which is true but is expressed in an in
/ direct way, such as, "A rolling stone gathers no
moss 1t is generally about lifeless objects or
dumb creatures, but is deftly applied to human
beings"
Sir: Dad was late for supper. Mother said
"NIaybe he's held up" Young son said, "Well,
he ought to be here now anyhow; that won't
take long" F.A s.
SIGN in the rooms of an Iowa hotel: "Any-
one committing nuisance will be charged fifty
cents extra" We cali that fair,
FROST
The leopard comes softly down at night from
the northland; IA ,tl
OH golden grainields, take heed, he is almost
The great % white leopard whose step is as light
as a snowflake,
His Icy breath has robbed the trees of their
Naked, afraid and alone they stand before him,
His eyes are green as the frozen seas of, the
northland.
All, rich and fruitful autumn, beware, of the
BERTHA TEN EYcK JAMES.
A. LIBRARIAN (M. M. N.Y. interested. in
eternal fitness has noted that Samuel Partridge
married Mehitabe Crow in 1868, and the "Po-
etical Essay on Physick, Inscribed to Dr. Pellet"
was published in 1745
ExCELLENTLYt coNTRIvED.
(Bulletin Kewanee Methodist Church)
Mrs. Heeter will entertain Circle No. A.
l. Thursday afternoon, Nov. IL, at the home
of Mrs. Snow, 207 South fremont, street.
"WANTED-Experienced boiled ham-bon-
ers. Morris & Co..
-Hard-boed, or four-niinute men?
IT HURTS. LESS ELSEWHERE.
(From the Rockville, Ind, Tribune.)
Our board sidewalks are flying up and
hitting pedestrians in the face and else
SNOW-PLOWS in mid-November is coming
it bit thick, even if, the bearing animals
are growing thing pelt this season.
Saying 1t.
Karl KinnicRinnie- What do you think Of
81, ..- y n