Evening star., 1920-06-27


you wouldn't suspect it to look at him
lcasual Just a mutt-faced party win
a broken nose, caulifiower ear anu d
habit of conversin out of one corner VI
his mouth. Few of 'em iook iitbh nttbn
tougher than him. They couldn with,
out being obliged to wear muzzies: Anu
lyet in some ways he's as chlckeh-
hearted as an old maid conlrlpu.ol "
the S. 2. c. A. I've seen nervous Wolii-
en- edge away from him IN the suowas'
probably sfzin' him up for gun1nan
startin out to trail new vlctlm, WEI WEI
as a matter of fact Swiftly never toteu
lanything more deadly than a fountain
ipen and would be the first to protect
a lady in case it was needed
Most of my new reg'lars insist on
llockin' up their valuabes in the sa1e
latter their first glimpse OF Swlfty Joe.
But they soon get over thal. AS Loi
me. I've let him have the run OF tne
leash drawer for a dozen years without
so much as a nickel stickin' TO ms
fingers. And when it comes 10 PEI pethe 3
faithful and loyal-well, nothing pu'
setter dog could beat him at that'
SO you see he has his good points;
But if you think when youV oiscoueIet hit
those. and allowed for his pelng a plt
thick in the head, and havin' stubborn
streak in him that would shame a
lmule-if you think you can tel IL an
about Swiftly Joe Gallagher, you're JUST
l<iddn' yourself along: Ihat Ina oliy inye 'is as
II have. / ought to be able to sketch him
lout as accurate as if | was descrlDln
the front office here. But L can L Inc
hest | can do is to state that he mas
South Brooklyn mind, which is only an an
lother way of sayin' that he's curious
gink. ~ 49,.
For one thing. there are all those
superstitions he has accumulated anu
sticks to- oh, just the usual ones, sucn
as carryin' rabbits foot Tor luck' anu
70 rhenIna-
tism. and knockin' wood if he happens
to mention how long it's been since he
was sick last, and keepin' horseshoe
rallied over the gym door takes EN-
all so serious, you know, like they was
mart of his religion. In fact, he al
| most proud of knowing so many. Acts
| that way, at least.
WHY, here the other mornin' l noticed
that he had his left sock on wrong side
out, with the seam threads showln sor'
why don't you shift it?" I asks.
.sNah," SAYS he. Worst thing you
could do. I'd have bad luck until the
Il week was out"
.'How do you know you would?" says
IL Ever tried it?"
"Eh?" says Swiftly, starin' shocked
''Tried it? / should say not"
III Course, he's reg'iar Friday dodger
| too. A while back he puts up an aWfu
kick because 1 scheduled a pussy Ole
broker to begin series OF han-noul
| sessions on Friday, that being the
l only date I had open. / had all l could
do to make Swiftly put him through his
: medicine ball stunts, and couple OF
weeks later when he don't show VI
Swiftly shakes his head gloomy. Sure
Ienough, too, we had word next mornin
THAT the old boy had been in a tax
smash-up and had been carted to a hos
pital with a cut face and cracked col
lar bone.
Now how about startin' 'em in on
friday" Swiftly demands tr1umphant
"At that l expect we got off easy. He
might have croaked on us
"But there was J. Rawson Weeks,
points out. 1--WE started him in on &
Monday, l remember, and yet it WASH
for breach of promise by some henna
haired frail he met at the automoplls
show. Yep. l got it marked down OF
the book-Monday."
.'Uh-huh." says Swiftly, glancin' ovel
Inv shoulder at the entry. +Monday the
thirteenth.
"Ah, say.' says I. "Accordin' to yol
1--we might as well shut up the shop abou
half the time. Then we'd have all the
luck there was, l expect. and maybe pe
able to quit work altogether ana nVe OF
what we owe"
But there's no jarrin' Swiftly out Of
his whims. Every now and then. ne
springs new one on me. Like Wher
Pinckney was in here with a couple OF
friends not long ago and passes his
cigarette case to 'em Pinckney was
just about to light up his own dope
stick, after touchin' off two others
= when Swiftly steps in sudden, blows out
the match and hands him fresh one.
Not three with the same match, y
explains Swiftly. ITS unlucky.,
''Really?" says Pinckney laughin':
''Why. I've been doing that all my life"
THAT only proves the case," says l.
lgivin him the wink. IF you hadn't t
you might have lived to be a hundred
years old by now"
No matter how much you kid Swiftly
iabout his notions, though. he sticks to
'em. He even puts on kind of a superior
lair when he mentions one that you ad-
NIT you hadn't heard of before. Same
as when I hints to him that his finger
nails needed amputatin.
81 gotta wait until Thursday to do
that" says he.
'fWhy Thursday" l asks.
''Ahr-r-r cheen says he. Don't you
know that's the lucky day for parin'
iyour nails?"
Tell me, Swiftly says 1, ''what hap
pens to all this luck stuff you pull down
lso consistent and ] miss? Why don't it
'show on your bank account?'
But Swiftly mere lunches his shoul-
lders and walks off mumblin' that it
Iain't lucky to talk about your luck So
it's about as useless arguin' the subject
with him as it would be to advise a
dog not to scratch his flea bites. You'd
get the same satisfaction. All can do
is to hand him a josh now and then
when ! get an openin'.
Like here the other day when he tells
ime how his wife's cousin, Miss 'Stashia
iSweeley, is comm down from Nova
IScotia to pay 'em visit
Tough luck." says ]. you must
}have put on the wrong shoe first some
tnOrnin' the last
the left shoulder-or is it the right?"
But Swiftly goes on to explain indig-
lnant that Miss Sweeley is no poor rela-
ton or family pest. Seems that Mrs.
,Gallagher's uncle is in the wholesale
fish business and has been maxim bar
lrels of money these few years, and that
'Stashia is comm down to spend some
of it where the spendin' is good. She's
been livin' in a smelly little jay town
iup there, about the size of two city
blocks when the tide is in and half as
Ibig as Staten Island when it's clear out
And with all that cash slowed under
the mattress and the mate of a cod
schooner askin' her to be his bride she'd
decided that selectin' her trousseau
from mail order catalogue was a hick
iplay. Hers for Altmakers and Lord &
StearnS direct. Also, she was plannin'
on seein' some first-run movie reels and
gettin' acquainted with her new cousin,
who was assistant professor in health
studio.
81 gotta meet her at the train" says
Swiftly.
"All right" says I. "trot along When
the real Goldfish aristocracy comes to
town they ought to be treated right.
And be sure not to mako any unlucky
moves"
But when he's been gone a couple of
hours / begins to suspect that he's
jinxed the arrival in some way, or else
'Stashia has done it herself 1t got to