Elbert County tribune and Elbert County banner. (Elizabeth, Colo.) 1920-1921, 1920-08-06
COT BILLS COAT
He Simply Couldn't Understand
About Wife's Hands.
Doing Only a Small Part Of House
work Allotted to His Helpmate
His "Fins" Were a Sight.
but Hers, Never.

Bill Is wearing gloves,
Any time you see Bill wearing gloves
know We that something has occurred.
II may be a death and Bill may be
going TO attend the funeral. or 1t may
be that Bill is bound for wedding.
or else there is always the chance that
the Improved Order of Joints is going
to have some sort Of ceremonial and
that Bill is going to be a participant.
1t was knowledge of this peculiar
ity which caused all to look at Bill
In an inquiring sort of way when he
came in t'other night and which
prompted Joe to ask: whats the big
Idea. Bill, that you've got your fms
covered7"
"wife sick.''
Bill said no more You'll agree that
It was far from satisfactory ex-
PLANTATION. Joe voiced the sentiment
when he remarked, petulant like.
that's HI of a reasonr'
Huh ~
1t was plain Bill wasn't going to he
voluble on this subject of them"
gloves. Now II there is one thing In
this world that Joe delights in more
than another It is In pecking away
at BIZ, and Bill equally enjoys seek
Ing to harass that persons nanny.
81 said that wasn't much of a rea-
son." repeated Joe. MY wife's been
sick and l didn't wear gloves; don't
see no reason on earth why you should
| be wearing gloves Just because the
Missus Is Ill. unless you're expecting
her to pass over and are making pre-
liminary arrangements for the serv-
Ices"
That nettled Bill. Smart. aren't
you" he asserted. Its the great
wonder of my life that some of the
funny papers like the Undertakers'
| Herald haven't engaged you to con-
duct their humorous column. You're
| about as funny, as. as-as a stick
of wood. Now you're so darned in
| quisitive, just look at them"
Bill peeled of the gloves and dis
played his hands.
Say, but you ought to have seen
| 'em. Red A fresh boiled lobster
was dark blue compared to those
hands
There's the answer" says Bill.
''The wlfe's been sick and I've been
doing the homework. I didn't mind
1t much at first, sort Of fun, you know.
Made me think l was some cheese
around the house. Didn't do 1t Just
because / wanted to, but because 1
| had to. Couldn't get any help and the
wife had to be cared for, had to have
| bite to eat and the house had to be
looked after. 1 did 1t; yes, I did. /
| cooked and 1 swept and / washed
dishes and, believe me, I did some
chore, but gosh almighty, / don't I'M
derstand 1t yet, why my hands got so
blasted red.
Just look at EN-" Again Bill dis
played those hands. Look at 'em 4;
aren't they beauties Honest, the only
thing can think of every time look
at those hands is Joe's nose before
the first of last July.
Those hands, I say, began to get
red. They got redder and redder I'M
til they're what you see displayed be
fore you. VIII they stop there?
dunno. But this here is what gets
me: When the wife Is on her feet
doing the work, she does 100 times
as much as I've been doing; she not
only washes the dishes, but she scrubs
| the floors and washes the clothes and
cleans the house and gosh only knows
what and, by hockey. I've yet to see
her hands when they look even slight
ly red. What's the answer? Tell me7-
Sam, in Lewiston Journal.