davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1920-06-22
MDDTJ EVENING
9[AIRY TALL
~A G ndry Graham
N Bonner g ag e s
cHIMPANZEE JOEY.

'My name is Chimpanzee joey" said
the Chimpanzee in the zoo.
why don't you say that your name
is Joey ChimpanZee?" asked another
monkey, named Ellen
Because" said joey, 81 am Chin
panzee i'll the first place and in the
second place L am named Joey.
might have been named something else
besides Joey. but / couldn't have been
called anything else but chimpanzee.
THAT would have been impossible.
Quite impossible
''All things are possible" said Ellen
in cranky tone.
Now Ellen" said Joey. that sounds
all right, but it hasn't always got
sense to it. In this case it hasn't.
You see | was born chimpanzee and
chimpanzee l am. Then the keeper
wanted TO give me name. so he called
ME Joey. Therefore | am Chimpanzee
Joey. ChimpanZee comes first"
"Oh. very WELL" said Ellen
You see | couldn't be anything else
but chimpanZee any more than
boy could be anything else but a boy
And yet a boy might have almost any
name such as John or Jack or Peter
or Bernard
Il think" said Joey. grinning. that
you are a little bit tired today. You
are what is known as grOuchy. That
is you have crouch on
Il have nothing on but what al
ways wear" snapped Ellen Grossly.
Just what l say. The rainy wealth
err has made you feel cross 1t makes
many people cross. too. especially
when there is great deal of rain with
little or no sunshine appearing for
long time"
What do you mean when you say
have CROUCH on?" asked Ellen.
Well" said Joey, Ito be quite cor
rect | should say you had a crouch.
l could leave out the word on with
out hurting my sentence in the least"
who cares if YOU hurt the SEN
tence" asked Ellen. I'm sure
don't"
oh. Well" said joey, 81 mean, Of
course, that it wouldn't spoil the
meaning of the sentence if left Off
the word. As matter of fact. crouch
isn't a word that is used so very often.
It's a slangy word. But it means
what you've got today"
Eve got nothing but what I always
have" said Ellen.
"Ah, yes" said Joey, you're cross.
And you're not always cross. You've
| got a good disposition, as ii rule. But
today you have lost your good dis
position and have taken a cross one
In its place"
"Tve not lost it." said Ellen.
Then you have lent it to some
one" said Joey. "And they haven't as
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1920-06-22
"a Must Yawn."

yet returned it to YOU" He grinned
at Ellen.
Yes, it was true, she was not feet
Ing pleasant.
We'll" said Joey. 81 feel sleepy my
self, though don't feel cross. Yes"
he added, 81 feel very sleepy. I must
yawn"
Joey yawned but he put his hand in
front of his mouth as he had been told
It was not polite To yawn without do
ing that and he never yawnpd with
out putting his hand in front of his
mouth.
He had heard of the old saying,
"when you yawn, pray turn aside and
with your hand the motion hide"
which many people have heard and
been taught to follow
Joey never failed TO do IT, and you
would have laughed if you could have
and yawning, and every time his hand
going up to hide the yawn from public
view.
Even when visitors were not around
and when only the keeper and The 9th
er monkeys were there. Joey never
forgot his manners in this way. for
he said he might forget them ut some
very important time if he got ont Of
the habit of always remembering
"WelI." he said u think I'll have
q LITTLE nan and 4prIlaDS when II
wake up | will find that your good dis
position has been returned 10 you.
Good afternoon. pleasant nap" And
with one more yawn which sleepy
though he was, he hid from view. then
Chimpanzee Joey Struggled up and
went sound. sound asleep while he
dreamed Of bananas and peanuts quar-
reling as to which should be eaten by
Joey first
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1920-06-22

she was at first mistaken for her
Mrs. Cloman was attired in a taupe
chiffon and wore a large. dark hat,
which she later removed. Mrs. John
A. Logan was again present. but seat
ed beside Mrs. Tucker, her daughter.
who wore dark blue crepe de chine.
red-fiOwer turban. Next to Mrs. Tuck
er was Mrs. John Hays Hammond,
whose smart costume of the previous
day was duplicated in brown and
green. Her gown was of brown chif-
fOn, with the new shade of green as
trimming.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1920-06-22
MankfndS Wastefulness.

Macquarie island. sought by Sir
Douglas Mawson as a sanctuary for
the Antarctic fauna, is nearly 400
square miles in area, lying 800 miles
from Tasmania. In latitude 80 degrees
south. Penguins Of various species
sea elephants and seals exist here In
vast numbers. but are being ruthlessly
slaughtered for their oil. A flghtless
parrot, living on the island when II
was discovered in 1910. has been ex.
terminated by cats turned loose and
allowed to run wild.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1920-06-22

appeared i'm lightweight suits with
white hlouSeS and oue-piece dresses Of
light voilleS and orSandieS. but it was
in the box in which Mr.. ana Mrs Fred
erick Upham were host and hostess
that the greatest amount Of summer
attire was noticeable.
The front row presented 6aleido-
Scopic picture Seats there had been
reserved for the wives Of candidates
and even N the opening II the CON
vention the lovely colorS observed be
hind the rail made il q reminder Of
blooming flowers in q garden. After
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1920-06-22

was blue turban covered with Alice
blue feathers. Miss Sarah Butler wore
a blue navy and white smock and a
soft brown silk hat.
Mrs. Warren G. Harding was there
in black-headed chiffon. She is
trim. dark-haired woman and wore
close. dark hat.
The Lowden family was present.
Mrs. Lowden not arriving as early as
her daughters. A handsome. dark
woman who sat with them is Mrs. Sid
ney Cloman of San Francisco. She
resembles Mrs. Lowden 50 much that
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1920-06-22

blowup in the full resolutions commit
tee or on the convention floor. those on
both sides of the treaty fight asserted
that in their opinion another great
party crisis. which had threa tened for
a time a repetition Of the disastrous
division Of 1912, had been avoided.
At first Senator Borah was obdur-
ate, though he said the principle was
acceptable. Pressed for an accept
ance, he protested that no one was
more anxious than he for harmony.
reminding his conferees thai an agree
ment would mean as much to him per
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1920-06-22

the prayer the red casSock of Cardinal
Gibbons. who vas given a seat in the
middle of the front row, lent even
brighter note of color.
Among the lovelieSt of the candi-
dates wives is Mrs. Nicholas Murray
Butler. She looks young TO be the
mother of the grown daughter who
has been working so aSSiduouSly for
her fathers candidacy at headQuar-
tiers. She came Ia the Coliseum in a
blue gown of thin silken material,
daintily set of with lace at neck and
sleeves. and on her slightly gray head
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1920-06-22
Pronounced Stinniness
BY JAMES P. HORNADAY.

l was visiting a friend in her new
farm home. Her nearest neighbor was
a millionaire's son. trying practical
farming on a well-imprOved farm. He
and beautiful roses. He brought us
two roses one day and two peaches
the next day. Neighbor women Of
fered to put up his berries on shares,
hut as he was afraid they would be
getting the best of the bargain, he Iet
the fruit dry up on the vines.-Ex-
change,
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1920-06-22
Trainino Your Brother

The girl who is continually nagging
her brother so that the home life is full
Of pickering. and the one who spOls
him by waiting on him without asking
the reward Of so much az thank
you. are equally at fault. The man
who is kind and chivalrouS to all wOrn-
en-. VIII generally tell YOU that he
owes much ~ good mother or good
slster.-Girk' Companion.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1920-06-22

marked by many of the party chiefs
that his customary counsel would be
greatly missed at the convention, but
IT is understood that several days ago
his friends got into communication
with him by cable on the subject Of
the league
II is understood former Senator
Crane of Massachusetts,, a leader of
the mild reservation group, first Sug-
gested q compromise on the Root
plank after he had been in cable con-
sultatiOn with its author
Disc0unting the possibilities Of a
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1920-06-22

The nick in a coat has been a puz-
zler to many. 1t is said TO date back
10 the time of Napoleon. A general
named Moreau had many followers
but they were afraid to openly express
sympathy with him. It was therefore
agreed to put a nick on their coats as
a secret sign. The letter NJ can he
seen in the lapel representing ths ?.
tai letter of the generals nanle
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1920-06-22

professor Of history met one OF
his class who had returned from fight
ing on the western front. and asked
him if he had learned any particular
lesson from the war.
"Yes, have. professor" replied the
young man. 81 discovered that It is
ii great deal easier TO study history
than it is TO make II"
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1920-06-22

Mr.. Mills and Senator Smoot caught
Senator Borah just as he was entering
the Subcommitteee room and the three
sal down on a couch outside and put
their heads together over the RNoS
proposition Mr.. Mills took the lead
in urging the Idaho senator 10 accept
1t.
From the beginning Of the League Of
Nations fight. however. Elihu Root has
been in close touch with developments,
first in the senate and then in the con-
vention parleys. When he left this
country some time ago Il was re
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1920-06-22
WORKED LONG FOR HARMONY
Agreement on Treaty Plank Reached
Only After a Prolonged and Aeri-
monious Discussion.

The agreement on the treaty
plank" came as suddenly Thursday as
die the previous days crisis. when the
ire, oncilableS made an open threat 10
leave the party If the plank offered by
Senator Crane indOrsing the league
With OCCUPATIONS were adopted.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1920-06-22
GAVE COLOR TO CONVENTION
Brilliant Costumes of Women Dele
oates and Visitors Made Bright
Spots in Republican Gathering.

Lighter brighter and cooler looking
sues took the place nt the darker col
erS thar had prrvaded the sections
,,here most If the out-oftown guests
sf the Republican convention had been
seated. due IL the change in the kind
~ costumes worn by the women pres
snt. on the door woman delegates
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1920-06-22
EarIv Efforts Of Great Poets,

Byron indited fluent and passionate
love verses at the age Of ten. Tenny-
son wrote charming lyrics at twelve.
and Milton wrote epic poems before he
had turned eleven.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1920-06-22
UnsettIed-

Things are in a terrible unsettled
state, nowadays. aren't they?"
''They surely are. and that reminds
me. How about that little bill you've
been owing US for several months nOvf
It might help a little if you'd settle
that"
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1920-06-22

Guide could tell you things about
this cave that would make your hair
stand on end, sir.
Tourist don't think so.
Guide-YOu are very brave?
Tourist-No. l am totally bald
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1920-06-22
Its Range.

what a dep voice your daughter
has"
TOO deep. Since she has been TAX
ing singing lessons it goes down to the
very bottom of my pocket
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1920-06-22
But What's the Use?

Mrs. Pester-Oh. dear Wen soon
be old. Don't you often yearn for the
return of childhood days?
Her Observation-Disclosures life | do. |
wasn't married then.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1920-06-22
Sweet .BYe-and-BY

First Optimist-We'l have better
times bye-and-bye, at any rate.
Second Optimistic be sure. Heav-
en- is paved with gold bricks and there
is never a coal shortage in the other
pIace.-HOme Sector.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1920-06-22

If window in England has received
light free from obstruction for 70
wears. it becomes an ancient light"
AID no building may be erected which
will obscure Il.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1920-06-22
The Mn,u NLn+a

Party Boss-How was it you failed TO
ger the full vote out in your district?
District Leader-We distributed the
cigars to the boys all right; but say,
chief. we clean forgot the vanity bags
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1920-06-22
Greet Yriend With Smile.

Learn to greet your friends With a
smile. They carry TOO many frownS
IN their own hearts to be bothered with
any of yours.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1920-06-22
Such DILL Work

The trouble with most If US Is not 50
much that we have a hard row 70 hoe
hut that we dislike hoeing.-BOstOn
Transcript.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1920-06-22

sOnally as to any man in the conven-
ton.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1920-06-22
Laroe Responsibilities.

Instead of seeking easy responsible
ties. seek for strength to meet the
larger ones.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1920-06-22

Fried Fish Shops In London.
In London there are more than 500
shops that sell nothing but fried tisn.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1920-04-17

L. L, Whitehill is making some i'm
proyements in the ell of his house in
preparation for the ice cream business
which win soon be in season.
Miss Roberta Brock has secured a
position in the Office of the turning
works at Groton and goes to and from
her work each day by train.
Mr. and Mrs. Alex Mathieson and
daughter. Bella, of Barre are spending
two weeks with Mr.. and Mrs, Thomas
Nicol. They intend to sail for Scot
land the last of this month
J. W. Clifford the local station
agent, went to his home in Warren
n, H., last Saturday to spend the week
end William Stephens had charge of
the station in his absence.
Mrs. n. NJ. McAllister and daughter,
Miss Harriet McAllister, are both quite
i'll with influenza. Mrs. Mary Benzie
of Groton is caring for them.
Charles f. Weeks had the misfortune
to lose one of his team horses Tuesday
night from collie.
Miss Nellie Bono is in St Johnsbury
for the week Miss Ellen Bone and
Miss Irene Taplin spent Wednesday
with her there.
Mrs. r. l.. Willard of Bryant Pond,
Me-, came Thursday for a visit to her
parents, Mr.. and Mrs. Joseph MeLam.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1920-04-17
ALLIES NEED
100000 MEN
In Order to Enforce Terms
of Treaty With Tur-
key as Drawn
NOTIFICATIONS
MAY BE MADE
When Matter Comes Up
Before the San Reno
Conference

San Reno, Italy, April Is. Allied
| nations would be called upon to main
tain forge of 100000 men in Turkey,
to insure execution of the trims OF
the treaty with the country which was
| framed at London recently, 1t is I'M
derstood This treaty will be consid
cred by the supreme allied council
when it opens its session here next
Monday and announcements that Mar
shall Foch of France and Field Marshal
Wilson of Great Britain would be pres
ent at the meeting are regarded as in
dicating that military experts viii be
called upon by the council before it de-
cides finally ON the terms to be sub
mitted to the sultan. The draft of the
treaty which has been prepared is
looked upon as being susceptible to i'm
portant notifications with a view to
removing obstacles TO execution.
None of the entente powers is dis
posed to furnish large numbers of sol
diers to impose the treaty terms on
the Turks. Greece, it is understood, Is
ready to send an army to Asia Minor,
but there are serious objections to the
presence of Greeks there, as it would
probably intensity Turkish resistance.
Hence, there is strong under cur
rent of opinion in favor of softening
the terms and sparing Turkish pride
as far as possible in order that the
treaty may be accepted by Turkish
government strong enough to overcome
nationalist opposition.
Armenia, under the treaty "a it stands
at present, would be given the terri.
tory comprised within the boundary
roughly outlined by the towns of Err
zerum, Btlis, Van and Mush, and the
corridor leading to the Black sea.
Other features of the treaty which |
will be given consideration viii be the |
of allied supervision at
Constantinople and the formation of'a /
commission TO control the DardanelIes. |
II i said proposal win be made 10 |
admit Balkan states, including Bulga !
ria to membership in this commission. I
Ways and means of insuring the ex /
ecution of the treaty of Versailles viii I
be discussed, the clauses calling for |
German disarmament being certain to
receive careful attention.
Considerable doubt exists whether
The Adriatic question viii come before
he council, in view of the unconfirmed A
reports that Premier Nitti Of Italy, N
after negotiations with Jugo.Slav rep
has found an acceptable
iolution to problems arising out of con
letting claims.
Premier Nitti. who will preside at
he meeting, is already here, and Pre-.
niers Lloyd George OF Great Britain
nd Milerand of France. Baron Matsui
nd Viscount Chinda, respectively. Jap ,
nese ambassadors in Paris, in London, ,
nd Paul Hymans. Belgium foreign
are expected tomorrow.
'hty will be accompanied by a largo /
orps of advisers Premier Venizelos
+ Greece is expected here, but il is {
he will not be invited to !
AXE part in deliberations. II
Duvachan palace, where the council 7
'ill meet, is ready for its distinguished {
isitors. i
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1920-04-17

away as soon as they can be dispensed
. with, the rooms themselves to clean
and the summer things to get out and
repair.
Mending any winter articles that are
ready TO be packed away before doing
so will come much easier now than
next fall when you are getting them
out again. You are apt to be in a
hurry then. and a sudden drop in the
temperature and the rush for heavier
clothing will find them, perhaps, not in
condition TO put on unless you do it
now.
In these times of high prices. also,
most women are looking over their APP
parel with the view of twisting and
turning it in some way TO make il do
service again this summer, after vainly
hoping for a drop in the cost of cloth
ing This takes time and must be
started as early as possible in the
spring il the garments are to be ready
when warm weather comes.
Pick up the old newspapers and mag
azines, clear the shelves of the store
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1920-04-17
The Old Vermont Red Cow.

! I've heard so much of Holstein stock
And such lot of Jersey talk.
How one a-makes the milkpsil ring
And 'tother makes the cream crock
sing;
So much of Dutch and Belted breeds
And what they'll do on fancy feeds;
And every kind of COW but red,
That I've almost forgot, ] VOW
Just how she looked-the old red COW
The old red COW we used TO know
She had no class" and had to go;
No oilmeal cakes or silo sweets
For her, she ct the pasture eats:
She felt no Playground call or lure,
She s'posed the spring and brook was
pure;
She never owned comb or brush,
The herd book talk to her was slush;
No maid run out and smoothed her
brow
She had to 90, the native COW.
But. listen, friends, a little bit,
She never threw high born fit;
You didn't have to sell her off
Because she coughed purple cough;
You saw no county cops appear
To test her tonsils twice year;
She had no pressure round her blood,
That swelling in her cheek was cud;
She'd be alive and happy now
If she'd been a classy COW.
Jest COW she was-s COW all through
For beef and milk and butter, too;
For taller. glue and cottage cheese,
For neatsfoot oil or what YOU please;
Her hide a-weighed hundred weight.
Her horns was bouts, her back was
straight;
II only took a quart Of shorts
To keep her manger sree from orts;
She stood for peace, vet liked a row
When things was dull, the OLD red COW
She never made herself fool
BY setting on the milking stool;
Shed look around and get" your face
Then yield her milk with quiet grace
I've seen a ten-quart pail refuse
To hold her mess at LATE Lannon'S;
I've seen her MIXED by Uncle John
A -Sundays with his stovepipe on;
I've seen I'D Adams stop aud bow
And say, Good evening, Lady Cow.
I've watched her on the highest hill. |
A standing there alone and still.
And though | failed TO comprehend,
! 'bieve she brooded DER her end:
'blieve she felt she'd soon make room |
For cows that need chef and groom; |
blieve she saw our state design,
Herself beneath the native pine,
The seal that rather mocks us now.
For both have vanished. tree and COW !
Daniel L. Cady, in Burlington Daily /
News.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1920-04-17

railroad signals, hand and lantern, the
| boomer knows 700. The examiner ex-
! plains TO the student railroader the
signals are called the proceed, back
stop, etc. The boomer tells the stu
dent it is "highball," back up" and
| "washouts.' The boomer goes out with
a crew he has never seen before They
| head in a passing track to let train
by. The passing track will hold go
cars; they have So. The conductor sees
there is room on the house track for
the engine and five ears. He can get in
there and save a SANDY" Saving
trains out takes time and causes de-
lay. That is the one thing they all
wish to avoid.
There is also crossing to cut. Does
the conductor try to shout out his com
mands so they can be heard the length
of the trainl No. Here is what he
does:
He pats himself on the head and
gives a proceed" signal. The boomer
uulocks and throws the switch. The
train pulls out on the main line until
the caboose is clear. then stops. The
conductor makes his arms for a huge
Xxx and the crossing is cut. Next he
makes ''V'' upsidedown with his open
hands and pats the back of his hand.
The boomer" mentally catalogues the
signal, lines the switch for the track
and backs in. Then as the boomer"
starts to line the switch back he
catches sight of the engineer giving
him signal by hitting his left elbow
with his right fist and sticking his
thumb toward his mouth.
The boomer interprets that as 81.
want TO go TO the main line for water. "
He cuts the engine off the train and
pilots it to the main line water tank.
Such signals are familiar to every
experienced railroad man, vet they are
not standard. They were devised bv
crafty men who believed in making
their heads save their feet. They were
peddled about by the floating boomer.
who delighted in showing brother
new wrinkles; so they came into what
is now almost universal practice They
are the legacy Of the nomad of the
AT night time with their
lanterns they perform seeming mir
acles. Sometimes a foreman and his |
crew of three men switch hundreds of |
ears without uttering a word
Slowly, yet surely, the boomer is
passing. A changing industrial era il |
writing the end of the chapter for |
them. From the railroad point of view
the boomer Is too expensive a luxury. !
That fact has given rise to the EN- |
ployment of home talent wherever pos
sible.
After all, the boomer has given much /
10 railroad life. He has added here 1
and there a def improvement to rail
'oad practices. There is no doubt he
: responsible for many of the success.
hi men who have risen from the rail
cad ranks to high places. because he
pave such men Of the steady tendencies
idvice, encouragement and helpful
land. While he may be indispensable.
he knows the railroad game, and his
Jew of it may be summed up in the
words of OHara;
Take IL from me. that while a fat
Wheel will jar a whole train. a hathead
Fill jar a whole system. Star, Kan
a. City.