Evening star., 1920-07-04

- COT to admit that there's some
drawbacks to being a 100 per cent
nerfect private sec. Not that l
L mind making myself useful around
1.-The general Offices. I'm always wlilln'
Ito roll ND my sleeves any time and
save the grand old Corrugated Trust
from going on the rocks. I'll take a
stab at anything from meetin' strike
tco,,mittee of the Amalgamated Window
washers Union to subbin' in as presi-
don't for Old Hickory at the annual
lmeetin'. And between times l don't OBJ
iect to maxim myself as handy as
socket wrench That is. SO long as it's
something that has to do with finance,
high or low
! But say, when they get to usin' me in
strictly family affairs, l almost work
I'M a crouch. Notice the almost. Course,
With this fair-and- warmer disposition of
| mine l can't quite register. Not with
Mr.. Robert, anyway. He has sucn
matey. I-say-old- d-chap way with him.
Like here the other day when he comes
strollin' out from the private office
rubbin' his chin puzzled. stares around
for a minute, and then makes straight
for my desk.
| 'Well, says ne, presume YOU Ho1eu
the arrival of the prodigal son: er,
Torchy?'
says I.
'.They will come back. even from
lfigurin', l expect, how that would be a
ilong, wet walk. But then, nothing was
ever too wet for Amby, and the only
lfear he had of water was that he might
Iget careless some time and swallow a
little
Quite so." says Mr.. Robert, GRIMM
You see, this Ambrose Wood party is
lonly an in-law once removed. Maybe
lyou remember Ferdy. who had the nerve
to marry Marjorie Ellins, the heavy
weight sister OF Mr. Robert. here a few
Years back? Well, that was when the
Ellnses acquired a brunette member OF
1.-The flock. Ambrose is full brother OF
lFerdy's. In every sense. That is, he
was in the good old days when Mr. Vol
stead was only name toward the end
ought to know more or less about
Amby for we had him here in the gen
eral Offices for quite some time, tryin
to discover if there wasn't some
sphere of usefulness that would ex
cuse us handin' him a pay envelope
once a week. There wasn't Course
we didn't try him as a paper weigh
or a door stop. But he had whir
at almost everything else. And thu
result was a total loss.
For one thing, the clocks meant nj
more to Amby than an excursion ad
would to a Sing Sing lifer.- Amb!
wasn't interested in 'em. He'd drift il
among the file room or bond clerks, o.
whatever bunch he happened to be in
flicted on that particular month. a
any old hour, from 10 am. up to 2:3'
pm. Always chirky and clipper abou
it, too. And his little tales about tn
parties he'd been on the night befor'
was usually interestin'. Which wa
bad for the general morale, as yol
can guess. Also his light and frivo
nogs under the chin and calm 'en
"Dearie" didn't help his standin' any
Yeauh! He was some boy. Amby
while he lasted. Three different time
Brother Ferdie was called from hi
happy home at night to rush dow
with enough cash bail to rescue Am
brose from a cold-hearted desk ser
geant, and once he figured quit
, prominent on the front page of tn
morning papers when he insisted Of
, confidin' to the judge that him an
i the young lady in the taxi was reall,
come over to visit upper Broadway
L don't doubt that Amby thought h
was something of the kind at tn
time, too. but you know how the re
porters are apt to play up an tier
II of that kind. And of course the.
: was a near-son- in law Of the presi
dent of the Corrugated Trust
> That was where Old Hickory push
q ed the button for me. Young man,
/; says he, chewin' his cigar savage
what should you say was the long
est steamer trip that one could bu
l ( a ticket for direct from New York