davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1920-06-23
MDDY} EVENING
ka[AIRY TALL
A 81 Many Groliam
A Bonner gS.o as
TELEPHONE PEAS.

We've such modern, up-to-date
name" said the Telephone Peas, "and
We're very good 10 eat, too. Wen be
ready before long. Only we do hope
We won't be insulted by that man from
the city who didn't know peas when
he saw them and thought we were
growing up TO be flowers. He didn't
know weeds from flowers and had TO
be shown. He did know that those
We're ferns In the beautiful fernery.
But we were told he knew about these
because he had heard much about them
beforehand. His wife had planted
those ferns and had made that fernery
all herself when she was Il little girl.
and she had told him about the ferns.
and how they had grown and of the
queer shaped stones she had in her
fernery and of the stones with strange
markings and fans in them.
'He had TO be shown the difference
between a spade and trowel and a
rake, and just what one did with each.
Poor dear, he didn't know much about
the country, but he liked it and he
watered the flowers and he did a great
deal of good we were told.
''He was willing TO learn, too. That
was something. Well. we're called the
Telephone Peas"
Were called String Beans" the
String Beans said, land IL won't be
long before we're ready, too. for the
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1920-06-23
mo Soap Better
- For Your Skim
| han Cuticura
Sesp 2se, Ointment rs sud Soc. T.leum 2ss.
WOULD MAKE AN EXCEPTION
Captured German Captain Decided
That on This Occasion He Would
Forget About Honor.

Among the letters from France that
have been printed In the Atlantic
Monthly there is TO be found this en-
tertalning episode:
The code OF the German officers is,
never to Surrender; but of course they
cannot live up to IL. In recent raid
sergeant ! know made q prisoner
of German captain who. as they
walked to the rear, cursed his luck
In fluent French, saying that he was
caught unawares that an officer never
surrendered, but fought to the end.
stop here. my captain. and let rs
consider this said the sergeant seri-
ously. There are several articles of
your equipment TO which my fancy
runs That watch, for example, those
leather puttees. and that fat purse
| saw you change to your hip pocket.
Perhaps ] can oblge you and crafty
my within. Suppose you were suddenly
TO rum quick shot would snve your
honor, and me the trouble Of escorting
you to the rear And | am an excel
lent shot. assure you"
But the German was not interested.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1920-06-23
LIKE CHILDREN OF ISRAEL
Turkish Tribe Wandered Far Through
the Wilderness TO Reach the
"Promised Land"

The Karfsu aborigines are a peculiar
race. not native TO the province of
Kapsu. in the northwest of China. but
resident there for some hundreds of
wears. locked 10 a small area by stu
pendous mountains
Hundreds of years ago. Turkish
tribe of Samarkand-men, women and
children, with their flocks and camels,
decided to migrate. and Iraversed the
en,1re weary way TO Kansu, covering
distance Of $50 days travel-12
times as far as from Egypt to Canaan
in the DAYS Of Moses. AS they started
they were told TO travel on untIl they
came to a place where the soil and
the water was of the same color a.
some which was put IN their hands.
camel carried their Scriptures
and they were told that al whatever
place the camel knelt and would not
rise again, there vas TO be their future
home. Their journey began until, af-
ter many months of travel, they found
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1920-06-23
Prayed for Cure
Finds it After 10 Years
Food Would Sour and Boil
Teeth Like Chalk

Mr.. Herbert NJ. Gessner writes from hie
home in Berlin, n. H.:
] had stomach trouble over ten years;
kept getting worse. tried everything for
relief but it came back worse than ever.
Last fall l got awfully bad; could only eat
light loaf bread and tea. In January got
20 bad that what / would eat would sour
and boil; my teeth would be like chalk.
] suffered terribly. prayed every day foI
something to cure me. One day read
about EAToNIC and told my wife to get
me box at the drug store as l was going
to work at p. m. took one-third of ID
and began to feel relief; when it was
three-fourths gone, / felt fine and when IL
was used up had no pains. Wife got me
another box but have felt the pain bus
twice. / used five tablets out of the new
box and | have no more stomach trouble.
Now write to tell you how Thankful j
am that / heard of EAT0NIC. ] feel like
q new man; eat what ike, drink plenty
Of water. and it never hurts me at all.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1920-06-23
Hello. String Beans. 4"

table. Doesn't ii get exciting as the
summer comes nearer and nearer and
we know that we must grow, for folks
do like fresh vegetables SO much, and
they're good for children.
Lots of nice children have been
hoeing around US lately, and that helps
a great deal. Well, there is old Lord
Lettuce peeping up above the ground.
Hello. Lord Lettuce" said the String
Beans.
Hello. String Beans" said Lord
Lettuce. Lady Lettuce and the Let
tuce youngsters are coming up, too,
and there are going to be lots of crops
of us, TOO, as we make a fine salad.
we're so young and tender and fresh"
Hello. Telephone Peas. Seems 10
me-" said Lord Lettuce. you hurried
me W. You know this is our second
crop We've been here before. But
do believe ii was your very name that
hurried me
II heard you say II and acted like
people do when they hear the tele-
phone. You know how they hurry and
scurry and scramble. I've even heard
that they've left the salad on their
plates and answered the telephone
before they ate their salad. Yes your
very name and saying II must have
hurried u.s."
well" said the Telephone Peas,
1--WE feel more up to date than ever
To think we actually acted like tele-
phones. We don't know that there is
any special reason for our name, but
we have grown TO Ike II mighty well.
We're supposed TO be large, good
kind, too; In fact one of the best there
are"
Dear me-" said one of the String
Beans, 81 wish some one would call
our family the Alrplane String Beans
or something like that. Or perhaps
we might he called the Submarine
String Beans"
'"There wouldn't be much sense TO
that" said potato almost ready to
eat, "for you are up on vines. Now
wes might have that name because
we're in the ground"
We'll Airplane String Beans would
be- all right"
Gracious, mercy" said the Tele-
phone Peas. eff we're to keep our fine
reputation we must grow. We are not
nearly grown yet. We must hurry"
yes" said Sir Robert Radish. that
IL right. You aren't ready as yet, and
they'll he wanting you before long"
"We're ready now" said the Rhu-
barb. Anyone wanting rhuharb pie
may come to rs and veil give them
the rhubarb which is great help to-
ward rhuharb pie"
All the vegetables laughed at this.
1T has been a delightful NIX" said
the String Beans, even If our name
Is such a simple family name"
Eyes. to work. 10 work" said the Tel
ephone Peas. so wen live up to our
name. of which we're very proud. very
proud indeed"
SO all did their best to grow and be
fine when the time came for them 10
take their part in the summer time
meals.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1920-06-23

would pain terribly if stepped off a
curb-stone. One day one of your book
let's was thrown in the yard and i read
every word in it. There were so many
who had been helped by your medicine
that wanted to try it and my husband
went to town and got me a bottle. 1t
seemed as though felt relief after the
second dose, so l kept on until / had
taken five bottles and by that time
was as well as ] could wish. About a
year later / gave birth TO ten pound
boy, and have had two more children
since and my health has been fine. If
] ever have trouble of any kind ! am
going to take your medicine for ] give
It all the praise for my good health.
] always recommend your medicine
whenever / can. Mrs. EVA E, SHAY,
Garrett, Kansas.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1920-06-23

came the tardy response, half apollo
geucaIly. Mary had not realized how
tired she was, and a soft and swift
Thank you" preceded her hasty flight
from the room as she ran 10 tile lone
ly alcove which served in lieu of
bedroom 10 try and think out this most
unusual conduct of a representative
Of the sex called "Inen." AS she fell
asleep she decided that she thought
him nice"
Whether the following evening tae
father and boys were too occupied
with the extra delieacy or two added
10 the table, or If il was their custom
airy neglect of the only woman In the
household, il cannot with certainty be
said; but TO the boarder alone was 1t
apparent that within that twenty-four
hour period a change had taken place
in Mary. A jaunty, Spanlsh-fashioned
comb, with the rhinestones conspicu-
ously absent, adorned her hair. all
stray locks now neatly held in place
with sufficient hairpins: an apron. its
ginghap expanse unsoiled, covered
house dress equally stiff and clean,
and napkins, folded tr.angular-wise,
reposed during their papier-mache life
time beside each plate.
But this evening the boarder had
hardly anticipated Mary's query.
Would YOU like to help with the dish
esq" Indeed he would and the work
fairly few beneath their fingers. Then
1t seemed perfectly natural outcome
10 their suddenly discovered compati-
biiity that walk should be suggested
and undertaken.
Outside a cooling breeze had come
up, veritable tonic to the swelter-
ing city.
Has anyone ever told you" the
bOarder asked after few moments
silence. that you have been very won
derful TO your father and brothers,"
Mary smiled sweetly; the words were
honeyed; here. indeed, was reward for
her good offices.
At the end of the neighborhood's
shopping thoroughfare they joined the
thirsty throng gathered about soda
'''Fl'NtifH''iS aHbtARiis AhtAs "iaN'N~
the boarder TO order the preparation
of mystic concoctiOn of many cOl0rs
and fruits. and then permitted the
cooling cloud of snowy cream to trickle
slowly down her throat. Would she
awake TO the unreality of midnight
dream? 1t was the voice of the board
er that broke into her reverie.
MARY" he called very quietly, show
would you like me TO wipe dishes for
! you the rest of my life?"
Mary's brow puckered. DO you
think you'll board with us that longY'
She laughed mischievously. Even
Mary, the household drudge, possessed
the art of coquetry.
mo, no." he demonstrated. II mean
our own dishes. Oh, Mary, can't you
see / think you're wonderful|
And into the dormant heart of Mary
there crept the awakening influence
of love. You mean
"Oh. mean love you. Pm just
working man, Mary, but I'll be
good to you. and I'll appreciate every
little thing you do for me. Don't you
think you could learn to care for me?'
And Mary indicated that she could.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1920-06-23
Wedding Cake Lore"

Into the batter of a wedding cake
is mixed a half dozen portions of
"lore" at least. In fact, at the we'd
ding feast. the wedding cake stands
upon q level of Importance with The
BRIDE and groom, because in II there
Is something wish. hope, q sur
prise or disappOintment--a prom
ise of riches for some of the guests.
just what the origin Of in.luding
the thimble. the wedding ring, and
the other popular ingredients of the
successful wedding cake, is not known.
but IL seems TO be more or less Of
comparatively modern custom.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1920-06-23
Man Who Commands success.

man who is not enamored of his
Job, who lacks that resolute. deter
mined purpose which knows no defeat,
recognizes no failure, is never sue.
cess. The man who is victory organ
lied will get up more determined than
ever after he is knocked down. The
harder the fall the greater the re-
bound. You can't keep such man
down, you can't discourage him any
more than you could have discouraged
a Napoleon, for his personality, his
character, will remain although his
home. his property. and every material
thing he possessed be swept away
New Success.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1920-06-23
wax for phonooraph cylinders.

The wax made use of in the manu-
facture of photograph cylinders is
from the carnauba, wax palm. The
best quality comes from the young and
tender leaves. They are cut at three
different periods during the wax sea
son, which extends from September TO
March. Two thousand leaves are re-
quired to make from % to 30 pounds
Of wax. The leaves are dried In the
sun and then thoroughly beaten with
fails to remove the wax. The raw ma
terial is melted in boiling water and
strained to remove foreign matter.
The strained mass hardens quickly and
turns a light yellow.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1920-06-23
Applicants ApIenty.

The other day an indianapolis high
school teacher had birthday. In some
way the children had discovered that
Il was coming and since she was very
popular many of them decided to give
her presents One Of her little fresh
man boys came in with huge box Of
candy. "Oh, Bob" she said, why be-
lieve III have to kiss you for this"
Now right behind Bob was a Junior
boy much larger and more glib Of
tongue. So Immediately he spoke up,
"Wait a minute, Miss T. I've got you
n present too"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1920-06-23
WOMEN NEED SWAMP ROOT

Thousands of women have kidney and
bladder trouble and never suspect It.
Womens' complaints often prove to be
nothing else but kidney trouble, or the
result of kidney or bladder disease.
If the kidneys are not in a healthy
condition, they may cause the other or
cams to become diseased.
Pain in the back, headache, loss of am
bition, nervousness, are often times symp-
toms of kidney trouble
Don't delay starting treatment. Dr..
Kilmer's Swamp Root, . physicians pre-
scription. obtained at any drug store, may
be Just the remedy needed to overcome
such conditions
Get medium or large sir2 bottle i'm
mediately from any drug store.
However, if you wish first to test this
zreat preparation send ten cents to DR..
kiimer & Co., Binghamton, N. Y, for q
ample bottle. When writing be sure and
mention this psper.-Asv.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1920-06-23

themselves on the banks Of the Yellow
river near Hsuinhau. in the last open
part of the rivers course. before fl
finally bursts through the Ti5etan hills
and reaches purely Chinese territory
near Hoch0w. There the camel lay
down as usual, but in the morning il
would not rise. Tradition mas II that
when IT died it turned to stone, and
that II Hes to this day at ,iaidy Gong
When the wanderers compared the
earth and water they had brought,
with the earth and water of thC place,
they found that they were Of the sar Ie
color and quality. so they remained
there. their numbers now ringing from
10000 10 10000. Their speech is Turk
ish. and their religion Gam.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1920-06-23
Keeping Fn.

Man in this world is Ike traveller
who is always walking toward a colder
region, and who is, therefore, obliged
10 be more active as he goes farther
north. The great malady Of the soul
is cold, and in order 20 counterfeit this
formidable Illness he must keep up the
activity Of his mind not only by work
but by contact with his fellow men and
with the worId-De TOQueville.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1920-06-23

Oscar--Why did you have the tele-
phone taken out Of your Office?
JiIn-Do you consider anything a
modern improvement which gives your
wife a chance TO ask for money dur
ing business hours, after going through
your pockets the night before?-Hous-
Ton Post.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1920-06-23
Ball Met With Misfortune.

The new giant bell, Jeanne dare"
destined for Rouen cathedral, met
with al accident just after II had left
the foundry at Annecy, France. II
was being drawn by IA horses through
the streets when an axletree gave
way and the great bell, weighing 20
tons. fell to the ground, obstructing
the traffic. The road was cleared suf-
ficlently TO allow vehicles TO pass some
hours afterward, but II took FIVE days
10 lift the bell.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1920-06-23
A hiqhbrow Boast.

Weary Rhodes-Dat guy gives me a
pain. Always trying to show de other
teller up.
Dreary Dan-What's wrong now?
Did he ditch ya7
Weary Rhodes--NO, but he claims
he can pronounce the names on all the
Pullman cars.--Houston Post.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1920-06-23

civilian" said Mother severely
"there were two pieces Of cake in the
pantry this morning. and now there Is
only one. How does this happenr
81 don't know, said William. regret
fully. ut must have been so dark that
| didn't see the other piece."-BOys
life
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1920-06-23

COmptSG ucE y v ,
breakdown follow
ing the birth of my
Oldest child. ] got
up too soon which
caused serious fe-
male trouble. ! wss
30 weak that ] was
not able to be on my
feet but very little
and could not do my
homework at all. l
had a bad pain in my
left side and II
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1920-06-23
SHOES WEAR LONGER

when you walk IN comfort; do stockings
A package Of Aliens Foot Ease. the anti
septic powder to shake into the shoes and
sprinkle In the foot bath. gives you that
"old shoe" comfort and saves wear Aliens
Foot= East makes tight new shoes feel
easy. Ladies wear shoes one size
smaller by shaking some Aliens Foot
Ease IN each shoe In the morning. Sold
everywhere.-Adv.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1920-06-23
aehlnd the Times.

Rover: II haven't seen bone IN
q dogs age. brother. ] wonder what
is up"
Nero: Meat, yOu poor boob Why
I became a vegetarian more than two
months ago,-Boys' Life.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1920-06-23

Costs few ceDtsl Drop a little
Freezone on that touchy corn, Instant
iy that corn stops hurting, then you
lift it right out with the fingers.
Why wait? Your druggist sells a
tiny bottle of Freezone for few cents,
sufficient to rid your feet Of every hard
corn, soft corn, or corn between the
toes, and calluses. without soreness or
irritation. FreeZone is the much
talked of discovery of the Cincinnati
ReniuS-Adv
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1920-06-23

"Just look at that rooster" remarked
the duck: "slnee he's begun Growing
he's had his statue placed on the top
Of the barn."-Boys Life.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1920-06-23
Impossible.

1.-THE doctor advised me to take
something every day to whet my ap-
petite"
"How did he expect you to do that
without a prescription
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1920-06-23
A letter
FOR WOMEN
From q Woman Whose Serious III
ness Was Overcome by Lydia E.
Pinkham's Vegetable Compound.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

Garrett, Kas.-"I first took Lydia E.
Pinkham's Vegetable Compound for
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1920-06-23

A woman's idea Of economy is to buy
lot of things she has no use for be
cause they are cheap.
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1920-06-23
An Irish Harbinaer.

Pat-"Phwat do he the first sign Of
spring, Moike?" Mike-"Shure, it's
whln We notice thot it amt here yet"
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1920-06-23
Prepare for Tomorrow!

not omorrowthe dependent upon
On will you descriptive circulars of the 500 $500
Mortgage 90
of fixed period of purpose deriving
The having
purchased by after thorough investigation
physical and moral
The Mercantile Trust Company member of the
System, by membership supervision
the United This
make including First Mortgage Real Estate Serial Loans sub
by Government Bank
also examined by Clearing
and the official Bank Examiners
of Illinois,
Real Estate Serial Notes Deed
sold by the United many
foreign Ou the principal
Estate Serial Notes offering.
a OF orders TO reaIe
notes Il Loa nent
Mercantile Trust Company
MmSssss% ~@SssSS%sgSS$ ESSs%"""
ST LOUIS AK MISSOURI
land supfuss
Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1920-06-23
Another Basic Fact.

1t always seems that the better a
speaker is the more time the master
of ceremonies takes from him intro
ducing him.-WilmingtOn News.
The Ordway new era., 1920-11-12
Support Of the
Cooperative Fund

When the Smith-Lever Act went In
to effect the total funGs available
were S3,600.O0O, of which S2.1O0,-
900 was contributed from sources
within the State and 81 100000 by
the Federal Government. The Fed
eral funds consisted of $4,000 ap-
propriated direct to the United States
Department of Agriculture for farm
ers' cooperative demonstration work
and s4S0.O00 appropriated to the
States under the provisions OF the
Smith-Lever Act. OF the funds con-
tributeL from within the States S1,-
100000 came from direct appropria-
tions of the State legislature and
from funds under tie control of the
college. The remainder of s1,1OO,-
900 came from sources within the
county. During the war the regular
funds of the department were supple
mented by emergency appropriations,
so that the maximum contribution
from the Federal Government reach
ed over 100000 in 19lS-l9.
During that year there was contri-
buted from sources within the Safes
$5,6OO,000. However, in the place
of the direct contributions to the de-
partment Congress provided $1,5OO,-
900 for the following years which is
to be used under the same conditions
as the Smith Lever fund. In 192O-21
the total contributions from the Fed
eral Government were $6,3OO,OOO,
comprising slightly over 100000
for farmers cooperative demonstra-
tion work, $3,5SO,000 under the pro-
visions of the Smith-Lever Act, and
81, 500, 900 supplementary funds. The
funds from the States have increas-
ed decidedly from 1914-15 to date
until the total is so, 100000. The
total from the States and colleges is
81, 500 900 and the total from within
the counties is SIS. 100000.
II is interesting to note the ratio OF
the contributions from the Federal
and State sources. In the beginning
the ratio was SO from within the
State for every 81 contributed by the
Federal Government. This ratio
was reversed during the war, but at
the present time the contributions
are practically on the same ratio as
when the work was undertaken. The
most interesting feature in connec-
tion with the movement has been
that throughout the entire period ov-
er 80 per cent of the funds used for
extension work came from the local
county governments or from direct
contributions of the farmers them
selves. These facts seem to show
their faith In the work and its i'm
portance of them.
The Ordway new era., 1920-11-12
Bean Cooperation
Makes Big Money

Not wooden shacks. put permanent
structures of stone mark the prosper
ity of Mountainair. N. Mex. No oil
has been found. nor get rich mineral
deposits. The community has sim
ply struck beans!
Although pinto beans have been
grown In New Mexico for many year-,
where the industry was spasmodic
and unorganized, 1t was not until
year or so ago that the possibility
of greater profit was realized. The
field representative Of the Bureau OF
Markets, United States Department OF
Agriculture, informed the growers
something of what had been accom-
plished by cooperative marketing az
throughout the United
States, and assisted them in organi1-
ing the New Mexican Bean Growers
Association, which now embraces "a
local associations.
1t has been conseryatively estimat-
ed that as a result of cooperative sell
ing $4,000 of additional profits
were earned by the pinto-bean grow
,ers last year. and that they saved
1900 alone through the cooperative
buying of bags in carload lots. With
a larger margin of profit for the ef-
forts exerted by the producers, the
future of the. industry seems assuT-
ed Pinto beans are now being sold
at 25 cents per hundred pounds in
carload lots over quotations on c. II.
p. navies.