Omaha daily bee., 1920-12-13
Government by Amendment.

habits might attain a great age if compelled TO
adhere to strictly scientific rules of living. 1t
has occurred to me that the public might be
greatly benefited by the installation of machines
for recording blood pressure, etc, in all restsi-
rants and that each patrons diet should be
regulated according to his physical condition.
Under this method, many person who is court
ing early death by>n slavish indulgence in
mince pie and coffee, would be spared for years
of happiness and useful effort II his daily intake
were restricted to a couple Of graham crackers
and a prune. f. c. W.
E. A FRIEND of the pair informs us that Pete
Rark and Laura Blackburn are engaged, but the
date of the nuptias is uncertain, because Mr..
Ranks only income is his salary as contributor
to the Line. That lovers Of romance may speed
the happy event, he wishes it known that he is
an expert lawn-cutter, furnace-tender, cow
miker, and performer on the saxophone.
A SENTIMENTAL JOURNEY.
[From the Manning, Ia, Monitor.l
Mike Ankenbauer our genial barber re-
ports that he is soon to leave for Oklahoma
where he will secure bride. He expects to
stop at Kansas City on his way to Oklahoma
and purchase a complete Wedding Trous-
seau.
Scenario.
Sir Why not work in quote from Prof. Ray
Noodles article in the Litry Digest, on the
most romantic moment of evolution" when ver-
tebrates first developed legs and began to crawl
out of the water and to walk on land?" Bear
down on the fact that this transition took place
on Mazon Creek, Illinois. and scheme some kind
of connection to make 1t explain why H.
linoisans of the present age show such a roman.
tic interest in legs and frequently get run over
while watching em cross the bouleyards. Put
in the exact date u can't give it myself of that
most exciting moment in evolution when the
females of the species began to roll their own.
Call it Legacy Of the Paeozoic Past' or "Evo-
luton on Its Last Legs or what you will.
B. B. NO. 1.
"IT is not question of diplomatic right,
hi,t of what &c eypediant" Mr. Rouar a,u in
formed Mr.. Bottomley We fear the British
Empire is crumbling again.
The True Bearings of Far or Isles and I'm
4 ,s~ discovered Countries. r
0H. NJ. Tomlinson, 1.-THE Sea and the Jungle)
Poised between two profundities - though
nearer the clouds, cirrus and lofty though they
are, than the land straight beneath the keel
and with morning and night the only variety
in the round, the days flicker by white and black
like magic lantern working without a story.
Tired of watching for the fruits of our enter
prise went to sleep Old Captain Morgan must
have lived dulr life, monotonous with adven
ture. What is the of travel, asked myself.
The stars are as near to London as they are to
the Spanish Main. In their planetary journey
through the void the passengers at Peckham see
as much as their fellows who peer through the
windows in Macassar.. The sun rises in the east,
and the moon Is horned; but some of the pas
sengers on the mudball, strangely enough, take
their tea without milk. Yet what of that?
In the chart room some days ago learned
we Idu SUUu ldLHONi ullueT U.s. "eli, lHeSe
waves of the tropics. curling over such abysmal
deeps. look much the same as the waves off
Lands End. 1 began to see what l had done.
had changed the murk of winter in London
for the discomforts of the dog days. / had
come thousands of miles to see the thermometer
rise Where are the Spanish MAN, the Guianas.
and the Brazils? At last had discovered them.
found their true bearings. They are in
Raeigh's Golden City Of Manoa" in Burney's
buccaneers of America" with Drake Hum
boldt, Bates and WALLACE and I had left them
81, J;rl,% ,f o1e
ant and imaginative traveller, and see the foreign
land bright with his aura; and we think it is
the country which shines.
THE edition of Tomlinsons narrative re-
Gently published is a reprint. What | don't
understand" remarked colleague who read it
several years ago, lis why it was not one OF
the best-seng books in England" Nor do We
s"'WHEN this art reaches so hgh,a standard
the Post deems it duty to publicly commend
it-Edward A. Grozier, Editor and Publisher
the Boston Post"
But ought Bostonian to- split his inhnitives
in public? 1t doesn't seem decent
WEAKENING EFFECT OF CIVILIZATION.
[From the Portage Register Democrat
The dead Indian arose after the fight,
washed his face. and was apparently little
the worse for the battle. His condition,
however, became serious during the night
and he died from the effects of his pum-
melting few days later
NAVY Compasses Broken by Gobs to Get
cohol."-Headlne.
Any seafaring will tell you how many
plnts there are in each compass.
The Foggy Muse
San Diego, Dec. 81 have not offered the
following to any local papers. I did not think
they would want it. AS we leaving Decem-
ber 2 feel safe in releasing it now:
There are fogs that make you chilly;
There are fogs that make you damp;
There are fogs that drive away the sunshine
AS the bull dogs drive away the tramp,
There are fogs that hardly blur the visoin
There are others that would float boat
But the fogs that roll in Sunday mornings
Are the f-o-g-s that get my goat
We trying to reverse the Japanese
end of our trip so as to visit China and Manila
before we visit the little complacent people
They say there are Nippon frosts on the island
in March. j. U. II.
THE plebicide showed an overwhelming ma
jority in favor of King Constantines return. -
ST. Paul Pioneer Press
Very good word.
A FORD BY ANY OTHER NAME
Sir: chap know who owns fveseated
Ford calls it a pleasure truck. C. X.
MAN Who Killed Colosmo Known, Coro-
ner Told"
A modest chap, whoever he was.
is THERE NO CLOSED SEASON ON
POKERS
[From the Tryon, N. c., NewsJ
Professor e. w. S. Cobb butchered fine
poker last week, also J. r. Phillips two.
Several have killed nice pokers this week.
WILL try to bring d'Annunzie to reason"
Add Light Occupations.
A BOX-OFFICE man has won the politeness
prize. Topsy -turvy world, did you say?
3. L. T.
The Main Essential
III order to succeed in politics it seems to be
necessary to be wise. modest, far-sighted
sympathetic, have large grasp of affairs and
to belong to hte republican party. Or, at least,
Daily News.