Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-08-28
CHESS.

DO you ever play cheSS? It's real
ly a lovely, sweet game and while
we don't exactly play it we some
times get leave of absence from
the office and work over it little.
For physical exercise we prefer cro-
lsinole or pinochle,bu for light prac-
tice In Einsteins Theory of Rela-
tivity chess is simply insurmount-
able.
And as q time consumer, cness has
'em all tied in a bundle. In fact. time
is the central element in the game.
Take all the time there is, divide 1t
into two equal parts. keep one your
self and present the other to your
antagonist and at the end whoever
has the most left over wins. Not
wins, exactly. Nobody wins in chess,
but the first fellow whose King de-
velops creeping paralysis has to quit
and go to the hospital. This is called
a checkinate. In case It's q stalemate
it has to be removed to the outer air
and fumigated.
The first few moves Of the game
can be made in single evening.
That is, they usually were until day
light saving was introduced. That, of
course, shortens the night and may
prevent the players from issuing
more than a. couple of tickets for the
pawns, as the more useless pieces
are called. After that, however, the
excitement begins. Let us assume
that you decide to vamp your queen
down to kings bishop gambit
threatening to slap your opponents
knight on the wrist if he doesn't put
his horse right back in the stall.
This will enable you to stroll down
town and do your afternoons mark
citing. When you return the other
fellow will have done just what you
thought he would, which permits
him to run out to the beach for the
week end, arriving Monday night
again to force the contest. Toward
the end of the game trip across
the continent may be enjoyed be-
tween any of the moves. But sudden
death or sleeping sickness is the on
players locked in the deadly embrace
of a prolonged struggle
Just now Sthe sensation of the
chess world is an Swear Old Polish
lad whose name is composed entirely
of consonants and exclamation
points. Being SO young he has a
larger time expectancy than anyone
else, and in Paris he has already
beaten fifty players at once. Not
precisely at once. They were all
feeble old, men with long white
boards, that got in the way of the
pieces, and concluding that they
hadn't as long to live as their pre-
cocious antagonist they decided to
quit simultaneously and take UP the
ouija board.
It is understood that the Swear
old wonder will now issue chal-
lenge to Lenine, Trotzky and the en-
tire staff Of bolshevik comissars for
a championship game 10 be played
eff before 1850 with all doors closed
to prevent draughts in the Polish
corridor. 1t is felt that bolshevism
can be met and checked more quick
ly and effectively in this manner
than by waiting until Lloyd-George
and Millerand make up thier minds
that they can't consistently do any
thing more than send "A couple of
correspondence cards telling the
Poles how much they like them and
asking Lenine please not to do any
thing rash. At last reports the boil
sheviki had expressed themselves by
wireless from Moscow as perfectly
willing to meet the boy chess marvel
if he were blindfolded and had his
hands tied behind his back, but they
range a truce to pull off the game
before the third Monday of the fifth
week In September afts; leap year.
r. r. v.