Fulton County tribune. (Wauseon, Ohio) 1883-1925, 1920-04-30
NOT MICH
A toast delivered at Chesterfield
School Tuesday evening:
(Toast)

ScnOol TUESDAY evening:
(Toast)
A funeral march by Charles Chaplin
Much - PSYCHOLOGISTS tell us -
means magnitude" the an5ithesis
of which is "snrallness." So if you
are small-you are mot much. u
Now don't all begin to swell up
with Importance.
1t is correlative term. To drive
from Wauseon today is mot much'
of a drive, but when they put up a
detour sign you speedily arrive at
the conclsion that it is something of
drive.
We have young man in Wauseon
who as a matter of fact isn't much,
and yet to yearning old maids he
rises in magnitude. He's the last
chance, and having no competition,
nothing with which to be compared
he naturally is much" sought after
by those maidens who have been
left at the post in life's race.
And yet he has seen much" and
if it wasn't for so "much" or
rather if the objects Of his affections
were not too much" he would have
been married years since. When
I think of this sad episode in the
life of the young man l am almost
moved to tears.
For once upon a time this young
gallant spent a few weeks among
the Mormons in Utah, and this is
what he wrote back home. as -
one of his love affairs.
"It was leap year when l was
there-and seventeen young widows
the wives of deceased Mormon
offered me their hearts and hands.
1 called on them one day-and,
taking their soft white hands in
mine-which made eighteen hands
altogether-I found them in tears.
And I said-"Why is this thus :?
what is the reason Of this thusness ?"
They hoye a sigh,-seYenteen sighs
of different size. They said: "Oh-
soon thou wilt be genested away!"
! told them that when | got ready
to leave a place l wentesteG.
They said, "Doth not like US
| / said, 81 doth, l doth!"
I I also said: 81 hope your inten-
tions are honorable-as l am lone
child-nny parents being far-f&r-
away in Ohio"
They then said, "Wilt not marry
us?"
/ said, "Oh-no-it can not was.
Again they asked me to marry
them-and again I declined. Wher
they cried:
"Oh-cruel man! This is too nFuei
oh! too much"
4o1J 4Io,0o ha+ on oanO11n
of the muchness that | declined.
Your appreciative son
So if the young ladies have long
: ed amueh," or feel for them lif
!unmated is mot much," rememhe
we have in Wauseon a beautiful
6 pir haired suitor that in truth
"net nuch," but in fact, owing I
his age and matrimonial aspiration
!, lis 'snuch" snatrimonially speaking
one who by experience backed by
natural ability as spooner cel
:, taiHly is both, mushy and muchy
! one from whom girlhood, |. e., |
:. = to 18, may expect much, ma'deee, |
to 25, may expect mucher, oil
maids, 25 to 40 may expect muchec
and widows, with or without teet
with a perfect 36 or an impossibl
So, no one barred-can expect tn
Mnst and muchier, muchiest 1ittl
! mucher that we haYe eyer known,
i Some day it will be said, "tfe
e not much, he is simply was" fc
+ his mutchiness will be swallowe
q up in the halo of a bridal alta
n and his sweet voice drowned out b
4 the beautiful strains OF shat ne,
+ wedding march-The Gampbells al
v coming, yea have come, is here, an
i yet withall, pink tie and celluloi
e collar, huap and all, Reas will b
Fnot much.p