davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1920-08-12
Hardly Complimentary.

A clerk in the employ of Chicago
business man, while fair worker, is
yet an individual Of pronounced eccen-
tricity. One day wire basket fell
off the top Of the clerks desk and
scratched his cheek. Not having any
conrtnlaster ct hand be .s;l,aprca: Oil
three two-cent postage stamps and con-
tinued his work. A few minutes
later he had occasion to take pa
per to his employers private office.
When he entered, the "old man." OBJ
serving the postage stamps on the
clerks cheek, fixed him with an as
tonished stare. Look here, Tom ~
he exclaimed. you are carrying too
much postage for second-class mat
teri"
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1920-08-12
Why Cities Grow.

From the ST. Louis Globe Democrat.
A natural k1gnan desire to eIude the
divine mandate, I'm the sweat of thy
face shalt thou eat bread" has always
been the seat OF many of our earthly
troubles. AS interpreted to mean the
Kind of perspiration that accompanies
filling the SOIL it may account for so
many abandoned farms and the swarm
ing emigration of the agricultural popu-
lation to the cities, where, indeed, the
sweating doesn't stop, but is in thous-
ands of instances greatly stayed
On the farm physical eXertion we'll
nigh reaches it's maximum Stripped
for the struggle with nature, reduced to
the merest remnant of cloth g., the glad
iitoriai combat is carried on
There are no fat farmers, unless they
have become landed proprietors" and
have delegated all violence of labor to
other hands. 1t is the cry from Mace
donia now that the hired man is no
longer to be hired; and all the rackng
toll of the farm descends upon one hap
less pair Of shoulders; no one is to be
had for love or money to share it.
The rendering of the soil into natures
hands again is quite accountable And
when the rewards of easier employments
in the city are SO great, even partial de-
pendence on a sense of conscientious
self-sacrifice it not to be expected.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1920-08-12

IRON commerce and Finance
"A BaIumore official OF the Pennsyl-
vania railroad received confidential in
structsons that there was to be a cutting
down OF the number of unnecessary EN-
pioyes Overlooking the confidential re-
striction he posted the instructions on
the bulletin board. and the next day all
the newspapers carried under big head
lines the announcement that the PENN
sylvania railroad was going to cut off
some 1000 superfluous jobs The high
er officials had not intended the an
n2uncement to be made, and in fact a
considerable cutting down was already
IN progress-in other regions.
When great employer Ike the Penn
sy1vaniarailroad goes carefully down its
payroll and begins To drop the me. end
women whose services they can do with
out. the area Of available employment
begins TO be q little narrowed Momen-
tum counts for good deal in things
OF this sort, and the policy of single
large concern may bring appreciably
nearer the time when there is some kind
of balance between the number of Jobs
and the number Of persons seeking jobs.
The industrial problem is always largely
one OF keeping the movement on either
side of the line from being too abrupt.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1920-08-12
Iennxsen,s Mine.

From the Kansas City Star.
Tennyson was q great smoker and
liked to have someone to talk with after
working hours. Pipes would be lighted
as soon as the visitor was seated, the
visitor being permitted to choose from
the large collection Of smoking para
phernalia, including everything from the
long church warden to the Turkish mar
CHILE which the poet possessed. Tenny-
son preferred a white clay pipe. He kept
box Of them beside him, from which
he would choose one as he talked, fill
and light 1T, and when he had smoked
It out would break the pipe in two and
cast it aside. He never smoked his pipe
more than one time. The poet also liked
his glass of wine, and a story is told of
him which illustrates not only his liking
for the vintage of the grape but his ten
dency to absorption and absentminded-
ness. A friend visited him once and as
they talked they drank from a bottle Of
port wine The friends glass was
emptied, but the fact did not penetrate
to Tennysons attention, who went on
talking and drinking 2::a pouring sc-
himself glass after glass. The bottle
was finished and the poet said: Shall
we have another? 1t is a very good
bottle, don't you think?" A second
bottle was brought and from it the
visitor had one glass and Tennyson con-
sumed the remainder in the fashion in
which the first had disappeared. Early
next morning the guest awoke to find
Tennyson standing by his bed regard
ing him with friendly solicitude. How
are you this morning." was his query.
"All right, thanks," replied the guest.
"Sure you're all right?" persisted the
poet. Yes, quite sure" "Ah, but pray
nv dear friend" said Tennyson serious
ly do you always drink two bottles Of
port after dinner?"
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1920-08-12
The Mercenarles.

Brander Matthews, the famous critic
discussed at Columbia tea the Amer.
lean short story.
"The American short story would
be BETTER" he said, "if the American
short story writer We're less merce
nary. I'd like him to think more OF
beauty and less of cash.
"a short story writer read me ono
Of his tales the other day. 1t wasn't
bad. and l told him so.
~ like the thing l said. It's real.
istic'
1.-THE short story writer beamed.
Realistic! he cried That's the
word want to hear. And how much
Mr.. Matthews, do you think it will
realiZeT"
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1920-08-12
Natural Spinners.

Spinning webs is second nature with
spiders. After they are Matched from
the eggs in a cocoon, they cling togsth-
err for about a week Then they separ-
ate, but their legs do not carry them
very far. Facing the wind. and stand
ing on the tips of their legs, the baby
spiders raise their abdomens and emit
silken thread. The faintest current
watts the gossamer in the air, and when
enough is let out to permit aerial flight
the insect drifts away When it wishes
to land it hanfs in the thread. Wher-
ever it lands 1t can spin webs without
the slightest instructions from older
SPIDERS Older male spiders seem to lose
this gift. There are about $50 species
Of spiders in America, but only two, the
house and garden spiders, are well
known.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1920-08-12
Who Are the "Regulars?"
Erop, tho Naw vnrL World

With his true instinct Hiram Johnson
grips at the throat of the paramount
issue, in his own party. He disregards,
as SO much ponderous buncombe, all
platform platitudes and candidate
promises of new international relations
which, when Turkey signs the peace,
only Mexico will be left to enter with
us. He drives straight at those words
tn Senator Harding's speech Of accept
ance which were written to placate him,
and those who following him in uncom-
promising hostility to the League Of
Nations. Exultingly he says:
Senator Harding unequivocally took
this campaign-the League Of Nations.
The republican party stands committed
by its platform; its standard-bearer now
accentuates that platform: There can
words: Our party means to hold the
heritage OF American nationality unim-
paired and unslrrendered." Senator
firm and emphatic stand against the
proposed League Of Nations
But where does Mr.. Johnson's reru-
larity leave many republican leaders,
hitherto high in the councils Of the
party. who favor the League OF Ma
lonesome even advising acceptance
with reservations few and mild? II the
platform is Johnsontan. II the speech Of
acceptance Is Jobnsonese and II the
campaign Is to be JohnsonesQue, what
place is left in the program for men like
Mr.. Taft, Mr.. Wickersham, Mr..
Hughes: what place for republican SEN
ators like McCumber and Nelson?
Above all, what place for the Nestor Of
the party. Mr. Rootk He wrote that
part Of the platform dealing with the
League. He Is also author Of the plan of
the high court OF international Justice.
under the league which Mr.. johnson
says must not be. AS q leading member
Of the preliminary conference of jurists
he has taken prominent part in the
discussions of plans for the permanent
frame of that body, which are to be
formulated anu submitted TO the mem
berg lmember nations) Of the league for
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1920-08-12
IiDcrdiity,

The following was overheard int
barber shop
CuStOmer-Seen Bill lately?
First BarDer-No, guess Bills ALI
with appendicitis or somethin'.
Second Barber (speaking up)-He
amt got appendicitis. He's got Gag
Ger and has to be operated on for it. He
wasn't going to, but.I talked to him and
told him to 60 to the hospital and have
whatever done to him that he neeSaE
and If he wanted q shave or hair cut.
just let me know, and I'd do 1t for him
and he needn't worry about paying for
it, either.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1920-08-12
Settling Down.
From the Milwaukee Journs

From the Milwaukee Journal
Forty-nine manufacturers in 40 Diff
tersnt lines were asked by the Mer-
chants Association of New York wheth-
er labor is getting more efficient. The
answer is that it is. In September, 1918.
say these men, labor was 70 per cent.
efficient. Twenty-three of them report
q noticeably higher standard than that
this summer, and five others say there
is better spirit among their employees.
With high wages and frantic appeals
for help, a condition existed which mag
nifled every real grievance and gave op-
portunity to indulge in fancied grfev-
ances. With an easier labor market and
Depression In some lines, everybody Ia
doing more thinking. The retailer
thinks his profits were a trif1e higher
than necessary, the manufacturer is not
SO d1cta8ofial, the Iaborang man realizes
that the old time standard Of diligence
was the way to earn his pay.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1920-08-12
The "Crown Prince" Issue.
From the Springfield Republican

The republicans have been deprived Of
their chance to cry Grown prince for
four months. That they were intending
to do this Is case OF the nomination Of
Mr.. McAdoo is hardly denied. The logi-
cal absurdity Of the term would not
have mattered; the fact that President
Wilson and his soninlaw were admitted
even by republican papers not to be in
agreement on all questions would not
have been needed. Any election needs
catchword that will at least amuse the
minimizing. and the republicans have
been cheated OF their best one to date.
Some persons, no doubt; will invent an
other. But Mr.. HerdinRs motto of
party government" or his complaint
about 'supermen' will hardly do, The
phrases are prosaic: there is nothing in
them to awaken sentiment Of any kind.
On the other hand. Grown, prince" with
its power OF summing up, with a touch
of fancy, a situation that would be con-
demned without analysis. was ideal for
the purpose.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1920-08-12
BIG CROPS ASSURED
N WESTERN CANADA
Need 81. Farm Labor Urgently
Required for Harvest.


Rains Of the past week which hsvs
been general throughout all portions
Of Western Canada. covering MANI
TOBA. SASKATCHEWAN. and AL
BERTA, have placed beyond all man
Rer OF doubt the certainty Of vast
grain crops throughout the entire dis
trict.
Reports from all points Indicate
marvellous and rapid growth. The
conditions Of week or so back, which
were decidedly less promising and led
many to think that there might be a
partial failure, have disappeared al
together and now there is wave Of
optimism circulating throughout the
entire country.
In 1915 there were enormous Yields
reported from all parts, and it would
appear now as II in many places the
yields Of 1915 would be equaled II
not beaten.
What might appear to be draw
back. is the apparent shortage Of farm
help. The Province Of Manitoba,
through its Employment Bureau IN
Winnipeg, is asking for 10000 harvest
hands and over; offering from So to
Sc per Gay. Tie Province OF Sas-
katchewan Is asking for 1900 extra
hands to take care Of the immense
harvest that is certiin to be reaped
In that Province. In Alberta the crop
area is somewhat less, the labor con-
ditions somewhat better, and is MAX
ing request for 5000 extra farm
hands.
interviewing the officials Of the DIFF
ferent Governments, they are inclined
to the opinion that as the crops in
KansIs, Nebraska, South Dakota, nli-
nois and other Central States are har-
vested there will be movement north
ward that win materially help to take
care of the labor situation. With the
low railroad rates that may be secured
on application to the Employment OF.
fees ut Winnipeg and at boundary
points, or which may be secured
through the Canadian Government Of
fees at Chicago, H.: Detroit, Mich !;
Milwaukee, Wis; Kansas City, Mo. /;
Omaha, Neb. Des Moines, Ia; Water
town, s. D.; st. Paul, Mimi, and
Grand Forks, N. D., will give to those
seeking employment the opportunity
to reach the harvest fields at q low
cost.-Advertisemen
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1920-08-12
Rates For Mortgages.
From the New York Post

H1OAA khc INC" 1OTk FOSt.
An increase in the farm loan rates to
accord with the rising cost of money in
every other direction is In prospect AL
ready some mortgage brokers are adj
vertising per cent money and the rate
of 6 and 61a per cent. that has obtained
for two years is likely to be changed to
higher figure. The country banks are
charging 10 per cent. on short loans and
the middle west is flooded with offerings
of preferred stocks in high class indus
trial concerns at and TX per cent while
short term paper is at 8 per cent. with
little opportunity on the part of banks to
take it.
The state banks which have been car
rying large loads of farm mortgages are
reducing their holdings in order to
utilize the funds in everyday loans at
the higher rate and to make It possible
to accommodate their customers The
high prices of land. which continue.
though with much lessened movement
of realty. call for heavy borrowings,
and loan agents ERE having difficulty
in securing sufficient funds to- make
the renewals.
The farmer is wise enough to see that
he can better carry farm mortgage at
81 per cent. than borrow of the bank at
10 per cent. and hence is in no hurry
to pay off his debt. 1t is not unusual
for farms to carry loans of $1000 to $15,-
600, and these will be long working out
the obligation. The supply of loanable
funds has been short for several months
and the loan agents expect that It Will
require a higher interest rate even on
this sound security to induce extensive
investment in mortgages.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1920-08-12
Germany and Austria Today.
Herbert Kaufman {dr KAUFMAN American
agazine publisher has travelling
nan, Anericau

Da5s.s has as eene Germany 1
e Z ten e e ana
% asapaes law ana order nnoa. the
ss % sason Ws
and s ,ssssas 81 s s s
WITH sa s
a but 50
ns mo linen mt Fats are sun scare sGap Is costly fabrics Of an sorts
na holidays ee marked and ] IS sn % .ne
far too puap s the s. s @
n .n FERN ana oa fertile surface Tor
.na e he '
not saaGsrman but i
he yaa s S. sna lack a
as ne.e as % and eeIy little soDse trim as public
naen d @ $ CAN Be keep sa or
hours s
n mo 9 the u M . an
brought find work being explained
Ts ss 9s Z I an M paa e time
sP ss .ss P as that have %
opinion that she can pay her % ou undue asn
She important remaining her timber
to hss WIN not feed the psaesas nishoa
Tas1e ee an n ss as IN the
h Dese1 u k ne means o
s The # ns so IN arg
u from the richest s ena the most wS oeSesone cry M
I with ss | n with
through
@ e hs a
sa as
shaveb
] sss s the
charitable works going forward
ultimate
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1920-08-12
*5;y' *%:&7* %.:..@.sk+A%,k ) )
.sTRiFLEs."
Roger w. Babson. In milwaukee,
Journal.

journal.
It's funny how seemingly little
Things In our Surroundings affect
" our efficiency. Whether you feel
Z M NJ ply and successful OF dog.
and out and q failure. may depend
ON SO small q thlag as the heel OF
., shoe, know q man who H. q
great philanthropist. He isn't 90
very rich; but he does more good
: with q few hundred dollars than
many do with millions. When he
nnds poor unfortunate, he takes
the man to the nearest cobbler's
shop and has fun new heels put
on his shoes. Ten minutes later
the down-and-outer Is facing the
world once more. He is alone
again. but his heels are square
and he stands o little straighter.
He throws back his shoulders and
sets his jaw, not knowing Just
why he does 1t. and strides off q
better man. BY Strengthening
those heels. our friend has done
more to help q drifter than II he
had given him 500.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1920-08-12
SAYS PILES al gone
AND no MORE EelEnl

had eczema Tor many Year, on MI
the agony. eaM your I'd and rot onol
box OF Petarson'H OintmeMt ana I oWo VOC
many thanks for the good sit has done ma.
! couldn't help but thank Peterson, for
the cure il great" Miss Mary Hill, ~
Third avenue, Pittsburgh, Pa
and Peterson's Ii the only ointmAnt that
relieves me, besldes the piles seem to
have gone" A. b. Ruger, I'LL Washing-
ton avenue, Racine, Wis. 1
Use Peterson's Ointment for old sorea.
salt rheum, chafng and all skin dieeaseaI
80 cents Druggists recommend It. Man
orders hlled by Peterson Ointment Coz
8uffalo. N. Y.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1920-08-12
Words With Bark On.


From Pittsburgh acknowledgements
Mr. Fairfax telephoned to his wife at 5
o'clock that he was bringing party
of six to dinner.
An inventory of the larder showed
short rations. So bridget, the cook, was
instructed to order certain supplies over
the telephone.
Wishing to supplement the order,
Bridget's mistress followed her to the
telephone and heard:
"Oi walnut yez to sind along a leg O.
mutton and ask the grocer mkt door to
let your bhoy bring two jillies and tin
of pears, an if Oh don't get them quick
Oiil be along tn the morning and par
alyze We all!' A brief pause, then:
who's shpakin'? Sure. an it's Mrs.
Fairfax of the Cedars."
Bridget cried the astonished and
outraged mistress. What do you mean?
How dare you say such things?"
"Sure, ma am" returned the cook I'M
concernedly, that's all right. talks to
'em like that for you all the tonne"
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1920-08-12
Object, Consolidation.

''There's a great deal of romance In
some Of these personal advertise,
ments"
"Wellf"
"a lone widower would like to meet
the lady in mourning who cried all
through a Charley Chaplin picture"
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1920-08-12
An Aid to. Business.

Beacon-Do you believe college ca.
reer is an aid to business?
Egbert-I certainly do.
"Why do you think so?''
"Well, my sons in college and he
smokes about 1000 cigarettes In a
year."
II don't follow you"
isn't he helping along the tobacco
business? '-Yonkers Statesman.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1920-08-12
A Difference.

Hiram" said Mrs Corntossel, what
band wagon are you going to ride on ~
"Afehitabel," was the reply, II know
how am goin' to vote, but I won't be
dourishin' on any band wagon. I am
not sufficiently prominent to have a
seat and be examined by the admirin'
populace. I'm only one of the fellers
that are supposed to be proud and hap
every now and then and crank up the
car"
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1920-08-12

adoption"
Mr.. johnson may be regular; he adj
mits it. But if he is. some of the oldest
and most famed and honored leaders of
the republican party must meekly sub
init, or be read out of that party by
the senator from California
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1920-08-12
The Law of AVERAGES.

''That friend Of ours was only al
lowed half vote in the convention"
Things average up" replied Sena-
tor Sorghum. II know of several cleo
lions in the dim past when he thought
nothing of casting six or eight votes all
by himself"
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1920-08-12

Pills and used Lydia p. Pnkham's
Sanative Wash and now am well, can
eat heartily and work. ! give you my
thanks for your great medicines. You
may publish my letter and I will tell
everyone what your medicines did for
me. Mrs. PEARL Hill, 418 Jackaboro
St., Knoxville, Tennessee.
Hundreds of such letters expressing
gratitude for the good Lydia E. Pink
hams Vegetable Compound has accom-
plished are constantly being received,
proving the reliability of this grand old
remedy.
If you are Ill do not drag along and
continue to suffer day in and day cut By.
at once take Lydia E, Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound, . woman's
remedy for woman's ills.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1920-08-12
Quickly Corrected.

She (sharply)-I trust you're coming
home tonight promptly at 8 o'clock.
He (hesitatingly)-I had though
about 10
She (interrupting very sharplyl-t
What did you say?
He (quickly)-About ten minutes tt
nine.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1920-08-12
Hard On Her Nerves.

From the Cincinnati Enquirer.
$50 your wife objects to living in the
next fiat to that foreign coupler re-
marked Mr.. Naybor. YES" replied Mr..
Gabb. 'tThey quarrel necessarily and
abe can't understand word OF It.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1920-08-12
Proved It.
From Wroe's Writin,

From Wroe's Writings.
Jones-''Do you ever play golf. Miss
Sportleigh7'
Miss Sportlcigh-''Mercy NO. Mr.. Jones.
don't know q thing about the gama.
i .ivu'tt even >s1o- ~a:cass S:S ss :se
caddy you take. hold Of when you start
to hit the halt'
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1920-08-12
An Accident.

From the Kansas City Journal.
How did you get your mustache into
this condition. asked the barber.
Il tried to steal q kiss from girl who
was chewing gum"
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1920-08-12

When some men court trouble it re
suits in marriage.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1920-08-12

Presidents Washington, Madison,
Jackson, Polk and Buchanan were
childless.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1920-08-12

When you get right down to brass
tacks most people haven't tack
hammer.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1920-08-12

Why does man who is really good
usually look so sad? SEA-
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1920-08-12

Fair Enough.
From the Boston Transcript
ST will examine you for $10,' said the
specialist.
"All right, DOCTOR" replied his pa
tient. "If you find it, I'll give you
half
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1920-08-12
BACK Hurt
.All:.'I||'.A||'E TINE
Mrs. Hill Say. Lydia E P;nLA..a':
Vegetable Compound Removed !.
The Cause. = q
Knoxville, Tenn. my back hurt ma
All the time, I waa all run down, could

not eat and my head
bothered d, e. all
caused by female
trouble. / was
three years " it'll
these troubles and
doctors did me no
good Your med
icine helped my sis
ter 80 she advised
me to take it. took
Lydia E. Pinkham's
" eg etable Com
~o,,nd and <hnY;.,ar
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1920-08-12
His Meal.

From the Kansas City Journal
An attendant entered carrying a thin
red object.
stamp?"
Maybe" said one feebly, that's my
mutton chop rare"
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1920-08-12

SIOUX CITY PIG CO NO ss--1s2o
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1920-08-12
ICutiCura SoaDl
AND OINTMENT -
Clear the Skin
Soap zse. 0iat.ea. 3 and soc. Tales. zssl

rnTnvl 70 eossFNEav RemoyGD s. n Barry
II u Efeekte Oine1nsp4.-.Xe1e -
sltlVhLlO Ss co. s 81 49, a. g.