The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1920-05-10
ON SECOND THOUGHT
BY JAY z. HOUSE
(From rhiladelphis Public LedgsrJ

We have the mathematical mind.
Our simple exercise gallop with the
lamentabic figures embodied in pre-
ceding paragraphs brought TO mind an
equation. On Sunday, April 4, while
chopping at the somber foliage which
clothes our countenance,. we inflicted
seventeen minor wounds. On sunday.
April II, subsequent TO engaging in
the same pastime, we counted fourteen
open gashes. During the last eighteen
years we have engaged in that form
of sanguinary combat on an average
of once a week. We figure that with
in that period we have drawn blood
9,0S7 times.
Our purpose in adducing the fore
going figures is to set up and claim
record Our contention Is that we
have inflicted more casualties with n
! safety razor than any other man in the
world. II there is contender for this
championship. let him speak thru the
column.
What. by the way. has become of
the old-fashioned clergyman who
challenged his opponents TO joint de-
bate on the subject of baptism? We
are compiling a list of the crucial
! questions of the yesteryear.
We also have a mild sort of cur
iosity concerning the present occupa-
ton of the gentleman who believed
he could get rich growing ginseng.
In answer to an inquiring reader,
the Literary Digest credits Gilbert
Hubbard with being the author of the
/ quotation: IF a man write a better
| book, preach a better sermon or make
a better mousetrap than his neighbor,
tho he build his house in the woods,
the world will make a beaten path TO
| his door,
The authorship of the quotation
having been established, we desire to
PROFOUND u question in the connec-
ton: Who makes the best mouse
trap in the world and where is the
beaten pathway to his door?-
What is your objection to Senator
Johnson" asks valued reader. We
have thirty or forty. One of them is
that w. r. Hearst is supporting him
for president. The others do not mat
ter.
1t is the experience of most of US
that man seldom is disturbed by tho
sound of his wife's laughter.
The bartender could always busy
| himself at the back bar when the con-
versation grew tiresome. but the girl
| at the cigar counter must stand and
take it.
| As you may have gathered from
the chance remarks that occasionally
| purl from this fountain of wisdom,
our particular aversion is the srtlfi-
cial hero. 1t were undertaking the
case to say we have enjoyed the week
now drawing TO n close to the utmost.
On Thursday Babe" Ruth struck out
three times. On. Monday a Los An
geles guy busted Charlie Chaplin in
the jaw.
Next TO the artificial hero. our pet
aversion is the snake DOCTOR" What
is a snake doctor?'' Well. of those
now engaged in retailing their RENE
dies to the public, Senator Hiram
johnson possibly is the most promi
ncnt and widely known.
The plan of correspondent OF the
New York Tribune to abolish vice has
the hearty support of the column. We
are for all good works. But we can
conceive nothing less interesting than
q viceless world.
1t probably will be news TO you that
Lucy Page CASTOR is a candidate for
president. 1t was to u.s. But what We
set out to say was that Mrs. CASTOR
believes fourteen years of active
study of the evil effects OF the cigaret
on the youth of the land" qualities
her for the place.
AS the two or three hundred per-
sons who are familiar with her career
know. Mrs. CASTOR is the nemesis of
the cigaret. Upon the point that the
cigaret is an evil we have no wish to
argue But before voting for Mrs.
CASTOR we should like to know what
she has to show for her fourteen
years of warfare.
We do not ask for much at the
hands of any candidate for president
Our impulse is to fall into line and cast
the ballot along the lines of least-re-
sistance. But we do insist a candidate
must make some kind of showing
at his speciality in fourteen years.
Who IS Alex Howat? He is one OF
those who are so thoroly dissatisfied
with this country and its institutions
that they defy its laws. but who stead
lastly refuse to exercise their option
to leave it.