davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-09-28
Inke McInke Saws.

Other hunters may have to observe
a Closed Season. But the Office
Hunter lever let's up.
Old Mother Volstead is certainly
having a hard time to wean the
American baby away from his Bottle.
Any wife can tell you that a man
seems to think that 1t Is a Peniten-
tiary Offense to use Common Sense.
The reason why a girl would rath-
er wear red flannel boomers than a
muslin combination in Winter Is be-
cause a candidate would get mad at
you If you voted for him.
Our idea of Fifty-Fifty is when a
Peroxide Blonde marries a man who
uses a brunette hair dye.
As we understand Table Etiquette
it Is permissible to pick your teeth
at the Festive Boards as long as you
have six or eight diamond rings on
your fingers.
And talking about Table Etiquette.
have you ever noticed the guy with
the walrus mustache who makes a
bath tub our of the finger bowl.
The Cost of Living has tempted
lots of people to throw Dog Buttons
out in the yard and then pray that
the Stork will swallow a few OF
them.
When he is first married he thinks
that she has class enough to tell any
Vassar graduate where to get OF.
But a year or two later 1t jars him
to hear her tell him to go and wash
them feet"
A Soft answer may Turn Away
Wrath. But, oh. Boy, there's a hear
more satisfaction in calling the Other
fellow a darn liar.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-09-28
RIPPLINe RHYMES
THE FISHERS
BY Walt mason.

THE FISHERS
The fishers, sailing, look to- me
like men OF dauntless daring; and
they'll come homeward. Ger the sea,
with loads of kippered herring. Be-
fore the dawn is fairly sprung 1 see
their boats departing. and fishers
old and fishers young on dangers
round are starting. oh, they are
brave and buoyant wights. and they
are stalwart laddies, and they come
whooping home o. nights with loads
of innan haddies. Their vigils in
the fog they keep, they know all
Neptune's glories, they see the Won
ders Of the deep, and should be full
of stories. They anchor in h little
bay before my sawed-of dwelling; i
visit them at close of day, when cur
LEWIS quit their yelling. "Oh, hoary
farmer Of the sea-" / say, to some
old chappie, hand out a salty yarn
to me, and you will make me hap
py." There's nothing doing on the
deep" the fisher says. assigning; "a
delegate should landward keep
that's where the news is flying. l
always knew that Fulton stih would
never be a winner: 1t only needed
one good biff to paralyze that sin
ner. The prize ring now Is run to
cheese, and most of 1t is schweitzer;
the British champs have some dis
ease, the Frenchman's punk. you're
right, sir. Oh, yes, we sail u
dories out, through all the spray and
smother; but there's no yarn in that,
old scout-one days just like an
other"
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-09-28
PUBLIC OPINION



EDITOR EVENING NEWS:
Perth Amboy has lost all chance
to live up to the slogan Pacemaking
City. There does not seem to be any
thought of making the city a better
place to live in.
There are many things which could
be done and which other smaller and
less important cities and towns are
doing to better conditions.
This city has for instance very lit
tie water front for the use of the
people as most Of 1t Is taken by
private interests and what little Is
left should be taken care of for the
use of the people.
City planning would take care OF
this. City planning would also pre-
vent factories from locating in the
heart of residential sections as is be-
ing done at present IN Bertrand ave-
nue. and also on Mead street where
chemical factories are being built.
And again we would not have to
be annoyed by the screach horns Of
auto and whistles. Chrome, Wood
bridge, and other places have stop
ped the buses using the screach
horns or whistle and yet Perth Am
boy is tagging behind.
Even New York City and other
larger centers are beginning to take
up this matter of useless noises.
The aldermen should back up the
efforts of our worthy chief of police
with an ordinance kprohibiting the
use OF these whistles in the city.
Let us look for improvements.
Yours truly.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-09-28
THE REMEDY.
Speaking of the housing situation,
a New York financial review says:

Speaking of the housing situation.
"a New York financial review says:
Most Of our efforts have been di-
lrected at -profiteering landlords, and,
while this policy meets with the APP
proval OF an exasperated commun-
ity, it must be admitted that penalties
and fines and reprisals do not add to
the number of Use Committees
have been appointed and have sent
in reports, but rents keep pm soar
ing and the housing shortage grows
|apace.'
High rents are merely the result,
the fruit, of the house shortage. The
remedy is more houses.
The Chicago Real Estate Board
places the blame for this house
shortage upon the steadily mounting
prices of building materials and la
Dor. The former increased 21O per
cent since 1914; labor went up Ito
per cent.
Canada has done something more
} an investigate. The Dominion loan
ed $25.O00,00O to the provinces for
house-building. Loans are made to
building associations agreeing to
erect homes at a dividend profit not
exceeding 6 per cent. Some means
should be taken also to see that the
dealer In building materials makes a
profit not exceeding 6 per cent, and
that labor gives a real days work for
the wages received.
Once people were given to the
pounding upon dishpans to drive the
devil of disease" from the sick
room. Now, 1t seems. they hope to
relieve the housing situation by much
yelling and calling Of names
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-09-28

ters to the japanese ambassador.
The United States must ultimately
accept the principle of continuity in
foreign AFFAIRS. There can be no
Democratic and Republican differ
snces over vital international policies,
in the long run, II the United states
isto present a united front In negotia-
tons with foreign countries. A
country divided at the waters edge is
inviting defeat.
For the present, unity in foreign
affairs does not exist between the
two dominant American parties. But,
eventually it will, for not otherwise
can government be efficiently con-
Quoted. An admirable opportunity
to make a start in the right direction
now exists at Washington. Respond
ing to Japan's desire to discuss the
racial problem OF the American Pa
cifc coast, the State Department
should prolong the exchanges with
Toxic until after the presidential
election. When it is determined who
is to be the e president, his views
should be learned. and should be al
lowed to exert a just degree Of in
fiuence upon the negotiations.
In Count Won B~ernstorff's recently
book Of revelations con-
corning his work in America, he says
that President Wilson had determin-
ed. in the event of Mr.. Hughes cleo
ton to the presidency in 1916, prac-
to give him control of the
State Department between Novem-
Der and his Inauguration In March.
While, OF course, the Japanese incl
dent has no such gravity as existed
in Americas international relations
in 1915, the principle is not very
different. 1t is reasonable to expect,
therefore. that the State Department
will make no pledges to Japan be-
tween now and election day.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-09-28
HEALTH ADVICE
MEANING the Baby.

A baby should not be fed at
the breast after n year. At that
age he needs a more solid food to
make him grow strong.
A baby should be weaned grad
ually, and the milk at first should
be only half the strength of the
formula used for a normal child
of theesame age. Then the milk
should be gradually increased in
strength.
WEAVING may usually begin at
about the ninth month, by giving
baby one feeding of cows milk,
using two parts milk to one part
water. II he diges' this we'll,
the amount of water "a be de-
creased gradually until at 10 or
IL months he may be taking
whole milk. The number of milk
feelings can be slowly increased
as the breast feelings are de-
the baby is weaned entirely. A
baby weaned at nine or ten
months may be taught to take
from a cup.
Increase in the baby's diet must
be made with caution, especially
during the summer. 1t is better
to keep the baby on a low diet
than to upset his digestion by
overlooking.
A baby one year of age in July
should not be weaned during n
hot months If he is doing well.
Infants should be weaned when
the mothers are suffering from a
disease which they might trans
nit to the child. such as typhoid
fever and tuberculosis; or If the
is suffering from some
disease which might be %aggravat-
ed by nursing, such as Bright's
disease, tuberculosis and acute
pneumonia. The infant should
lik ewise be weaned if the mother
becomes pregnant, or If h is
suffering from Inflammation of
the breast.
Wrinkles.
@. 1 am only rs years old, and
wrinkles in my cheeks. l have
tried the best cream to remove
them, but I can't. What shall l do?
Can you give me the address of a
who can help me?
A. The application Of creams
will probably not help your
though facial massage
and the application of hot and
cold water alternately. supplanted
by brisk rubbing with a towel,
may improve the general tone of
the parts. If you are otherwise
well, you will do well to forget
wrinkles. A smiling, cheer
full countenance Is an effective
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-09-28
DAILY HOROSCOPE
THE stars incline, but do not COM
~nIu

THE stars incline, but do not COM
pei"
wednesday, September 30, 1920.
copyright, 1920, by the Mcclure
Newspaper Syndicate.)
While Jupiter rules strongly for
good today. according to ~astrology,
Venus changes from beneic to ma
lefic aspect. Uranus is strongly ad-
verse.
Business enterprises of all sorts
should prosper during this posting
of the stars. Commerce should ben
eft through some rather daring
venture initiated by Western finan-
ciers.
For capitalists and all who pos
sess large extraordinary
opportunities for adding to wealth
will come again through foreign
countries.
Lawyers will have great pros
perity from this time on, for there
will be an unusual amount of liti-
cation.
There is an auspicious rule for
professors and teachers of every
class. A college president is to re-
ceive high honors through q politi-
cal party.
Love affairs are subject to the
most variable and uncertain inf1u-
ences that make for ickleness and
unfaithfulness.
1t is not a lucky wedding day
since they who pledge their troth
when Uranus frowns may soon find
that they cannot agree.
Meetings between men and wom-
en- who are friends may be most
unfortunate during this rule, max
ing for Misunderstanding. There
is a sign read as conducive to a
sudden change OF opinion on the
part of men who have been enthu-
siastic in admiration or even hon
estly in love.
Venus gives warning to women
who are leaders in politics hat
there may be severe disappoint-
ments in store for them, since envy
ings and jealousies will lead to
many small intrigues.
There will be an evolution in So
cial ideals within the next two
years, occulists predict, and they
foretell a new popularity for the
more serious side of friendly inter-
course.
Women will start a national
movement that will mark a great
step forward in the progress of
the arts, the seers declare. This
will in some manner knit together
the forces that cherish beauty and
develop the higher talents.
Persons whose birthdate it is
may have a most eventful year, in
which their resourcefulness will be
tested.
Children born on this day may be
too carefree to be quickly success
full In obtaining an education or in
progressing in business. They will
probably have great possibilities If
they are wisely trained.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-09-28
WHY BE DISCOURAGED

Daniel Defoe believed that If he
kept on trying various occupations
he would one day find his opportu-
nifty to become great. So he became
a trader, soldier. merchant and then
factory manager. Still unsuccessful
he became a secretary, commission
er's merchant, accountant, envoy
and messenger. A continued failure,
Defoe turned to writing and in this
field he seemed to find his chance
for he produced a book which has
been read by practically every boy
in the civilized world-"Robinson
Crusoe." .
The boy Calico was a failure at
everything he touched and was ex-
PEELED from school. Thrashed by
his father, he was sent forth to
make his own way in the world.
Inwardly determined to succeed,
however, he started his caree as a
stable boy. At eighteen he accident
ally discovered the principle of the
pendulum in the lamp left hanging
in the Cathedral at Pisa. Two years
later Calico astounded the world by
inventing both the microscope and
telescope which enlarged the knowl-
edge of the vas and minute alike.
He died worth $500, 600.
In an Ohio log cabin a poor widow
lived with her little boy. Neighbors
fed them. At eight, the boy support
ed his mother by chopping wood
and tilling the soil. Every spare
hour was spent in studying borrow
ed books. At sixteen he drove mules
on a canal tow path, swept floors
and rang the bell OF an academy in
exchange for the right to study
there. He engaged board, washing,
fuel and light of a carpenter at
$1.06 a week with the privilege of
working nights and Saturdays. A
year later he taught school at $12
a month and board around" James
A. Garfield became president of the
United States.
"On to Richmond" was the COM
mand of General Grant. as he as
sumed charge of the Northern
/ armies. Brother officers shook their
heads and smiled, but the silent
man with the iron nerve swerved
not a hairs breadth from his pur-
pose until General Lee surrendered
his sword at Appomattox.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-09-28

The English artist who holds that
European women are more beautiful
than those of America has a right to
his opinion, but we doubt that he has
seen any American girls. Some folks
have a queer idea of beauty. Every
time we see a picture of an European
court beauty" we are reminded of
Solomon's description of his beloved.
Solomon says this of her in raving
over her beauty"
Thy hair is a flock of goats"
Thy neck is builded for an armory
wherein there hang a thousand buck
lers."
Thy nose is as the tower Of Leba-
non. which looketh toward Damas-
GUS"
we do not pose as an expert on
beauty. But we have seen the dame
whose hair resembled a flock of
goats AS to the neck. it must have
been thick, and perhaps the "hang-
ing bucklers" were golfers. And as
to the nose like the tower of Leba-
non. you can find it on most any
horse-faced European beauty"
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-09-28
FoREIGN POLICY.

This is not a proper time for far
reaching negotiations on questions of
Importance TO be concluded between
he Japanese and the American gov
srnments. The American people are
sbout to go to the polls to declare
heir preferences for rival presiden-
lIal candidates Until the judgment
Of the country has been taken, the
state Department should give no
Binding pledges about disputed mat
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-09-28
Business Is Business.

why, how do you do, Mr.. Sharp 2"
said Miss Peach as she opened the
door in response to the ring of the
Tired Business Man. Wont you
cone in?"
Thanks" replied the Tired Bust
ness Man. Haven't time. On the go
day and night. Very busy. BY the
way. Miss Peach, are you engaged to
be married."
why. no-o!" blushed Miss
Peach. why do you ask?"
Then can 1 have an option on you
for-say-three months? p" demanded
the Tired Business Man.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-09-28
DgEvER MEET

Susie's going to burst in pieces,
All at once or by degrees,
II her wonderment increases
At the marvels that she seesf
Heart OF all this great creationi
Z Susie's seen it, She Is there,
Suffocates in admiration.
Susie's at the County Fair.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-09-28
Much Rivalry IN COLLEGE Yers.

LONDON. - Medical students al
one of the principal city hospitals
are downhearted. For the Cardiff
College boys have them outyelled.
They plan TO organize the Metropol-
itan University Yodellers and then
challenge Cardiff to a college yelling
contest.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-09-28
whaddy va Mean. "Gout?"

Wilmington News-Journal.1
Luke McLuke's foot is we'll again
and he's back on the job. All news
paper men run the risk of getting the
govt occasionally-veryi
Thanks for the compliment, as the
newspaper man said when the other
fellow asked him If he had change
for a $40 bill, but didn't have the,
Disty. We had blood poisoning and
and abscessed veins,
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-09-28
Stunei

Stungi
One of the 60,000,00O Ambitious
Suckers who make the U. s. A their
abiding place saw an advertisement
that was worded thusly:
Learn To Write POETRY
Send us 81 and we will forward by
return mail the secret of writing
poetry. Dc not delay. We guar
antee to start you of right"
Having tired of the sport of trad
ing Liberty Bonds for Oilless Oil
Stock. the Ambitious Sucker tackled
the new bait.
Il have plenty of spare time"
soliloquized the Ambitious Sucker.
II will learn to write Poetry and get
large sums of money and great gobs
of fame by writing fof the magazines.
l will enclose 50 and send for the re-
cipe.'
Two days later the Ambitious Suck
received a printed slip containing
the recipe. 1t said:
Begin Each Line With a Capital
Letter."
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-09-28
BATTLES FOUGHT OVER
By DIR. James I. Vance.

They say that sometimes a patient
who has been i'll with typhoid fever
and who has practically recovered
becomes re-infected with the germ
and suffers a relapse. The doctors
regard this re-infection as more
dangerous and difficult to control
than the original disease.
There is such a thing a moral re-
infection. The man who is fighting
a spiritual disease seems about to
win his way back to health. The will
has struggled with the adversary and
routed him. Temptation has been
resisted. The foes of the soul have
been overthrown. The struggle
against invisible antagonists has been
fierce and long, but integrity has been
maintained, and out of it all, the soul
energies triumphant. 1t Is a great
recovery.
Then in some strange and subtle
way the germ of evil makes a rear
attack, and there is a r~e-infectton.
The battle must be fought over again.
There has been a spiritual relapse.
But this relapse is more dangerous
and deadly than the first infection.
Which means that it is not a harm
less thing to fall The man who all
lows his will to go down repeatedly
before temptation steadily diminishes
his resisting power. Every time he
a moral relapse, he slips closer
to the edge of hell.
Every time he cleans up his life
and then lets it go foul again. his
moral perceptions are dulled. and
his chances of ultimate and per-
manent reform diminished. The
man who dallies with evil plays with
fire. Beware<of re-infection.
This is the point in the parable
of the man who got rid of an un-
clean spirit; but the unclean spirit
returned and found the life swept
and garnished, but empty. Evil had
been driven out, but goodness
had not been installed in its place.
The attack was renewed. and seven
spirits more wicked than the first
came in, and the last state OF that
man was worse than the first-seven
times worse
That is what moral re-infection
does. To yield a second time to the
same temptation is to tumble seven
steps lower than the first fall. To
daily with temptation is to give the
foes of our soul every advantage.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-09-28

The ambitious Hun now has reckon
ed
That we'll let the past be the past;
But he'll find that Wilhelm the Sec
ond
Is really Wilhelm the Last.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-09-28
Emplores Buy Lehigh stock

More than 1000 employees Of the
Lehigh Valley have purchased stock
in the company and additional sub
scriptions are being received daily
according to an announcement made
this morning by President Z. e.
Loomis. Recently employees were
advised that they might become
part owners of the railroad for
which they work through the pur-
chase of stock which could be paid
for on the installment plan through
small monthly deductions from the
payroll as was done during the sew
eral Liberty Loan campaigns. The
company buys the stock on orders
from employees and they pay the
price prevailing on the New York
stock Exchange the day their or
ders are received.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-09-28

The Associated Press IL exclusively en-
titisd 70 its use for publication OF all news
dispatches credited 10 10 or not otherwise
credited in this paper and also the local
Jews published herein
Tn EVENING NEWS 10 also n member
Z the American Newspapers Publishers
Association and the Audit Bureau OF circu-
iafion.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-09-28

Martin, Martin, Martin Macdonald!
II say your name
Under my breath;
In louder tone, speaking,
Or in my mind;
When / unlace my bodice.
-Diantha Goes The Primrose Way.
Disinfectant, deodorant, chloride of
lime!
I say your name
And hold my breath;
I hold my nose; v
l am unable to speak,
When I unlace my shoes.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-09-28
NOtiMi

AS soon as we have transplanted
the perishable plants in the dollhouse
the Club will vote on the application
of Winter Kill, of Bradner. Ohio.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-09-28

The Thinner A Girls Face Is The
Thicker She Puts on Her Complex
ion.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-09-28
Wuni

A stray dog down an alley prowled,
He found a sausage in the fog;
He ate the sausage and he growled:
This is a case of dog eat dog!"
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-09-28
Cor Can't Convict, Judge Rules.

TOLEDO.- - o CONT e0-""~'
said Judge Cohn in dismissing the
case against Anna ,.o.t.
with soliciting. He declared the
word of & policeman Is not SUFFICIENT
evidence to convict
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-09-28

Marriage is a lottery" observed
the Sage.
Yes" commented the Fool. And
some women aren't satisfied until
they buy four or five tickets"
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-09-28
THE LOSS.

There died in New York a day or
two ago n of the greatest men of
his day and generation. He was
Jacob H. Schif. the fnancier and
philanthropist. Coming II this lcoun-
try at the age of eighteen he secured
employment as a bank clerk. From
such a start he rose to occupy a
position in world finance.
But with all his success he never
lost sight of his duty to his fellow
man. Not for a moment did he con-
slider that his wealth was for his own
selfish use. He used it for the pur-
pose of doing good in the world.
This, after all, was his real success.
So successful was he in this respect
that now that he has gone the whole
world regardless of race or creed,
delights to do him honor.
The Sun and New York Herald
sums up his career in the following
effective manner:
"As a constructive banker Jacob
H. Schin was a very great world
figure. He was as well a very SPLEEN
did cftizen-a man OF exemplary per-
sonal life, gentle. quiet, gracious. All
the vital problems of life interested
him-charities, politics, religion. To
these he gave freely of his time, his
thought. his money"
The world has all too few of such
men today. The loss Of Jacob H.
schin will be keenly felt in every
circle, high or low, where work for
the upIift of humanity is being car
ried on.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-09-28
BITS OF BY-PLAY
BY LUKE McLUKE-
Copyright, 1920. by The Cincinnati
Enquirer.

A Little Learning.
II hurts my jaw
To hear Miss Mazda
Say that she saw
The opera Aida"
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-09-28
Things To Worry About

The Atlantic Ocean IS 20 feet lower
than it used to be.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-09-28

Some people believe that half of
one per cent refers to enforcement
and not content.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-09-28
Names Is m

Last Sheets lives at Six Point.
Ohio.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-09-28

Flat-dwellers may get heat
this winter il they call their ~janitor
the custodian.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-09-28

Even the striking of a match makes
a New York banker jump these days.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-09-28

A Montenegro poet grows onions
as a sideline. Both his products aus
tears.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-09-28

Taft is to take the stump for Hard
ing. Is he too heavy for hat front
porch?
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-09-28

It isn't much of a nation that has
mt > crisis OF some sort.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-09-28
Why Burns Turned Over in His

oh, wad some gift
The gifted gee them
Tae let girls see their elbows
AS ithers see them.