The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-06-11
Andrew and Imogene Little Life Condolences In the Ex. perience of a Couple, Phil
 osoPhic, Though Married
By ROE FULKERsoN

| N NDREw," said Imogene, isn't it | N\ lucky that they passed that law | GRA few years ago compelling the makers of oleomargarine to
 make their product 51 per cent white? If ] they hadn't just now when everything
 costs so much. all the landladies and
 hotel people would be feeding it to their patrons and making them think they were eating butter
 T suppose you think that would be a | calamity" said Andrew.
 indeed I do, said Imogene, with em- phasls. I think we are entitled to pure food when we pay out our good money" Do you think you are getting pure food when You buy COW butter rather l than the chemical kind? If you think | dear lady, you are going to get pure | things because you are getting things as ! Nature made them. all you have to do is
 to investigate the health office on cows
 milk
 The average gallon of milk contains three quarts of deadly germs and one | quart of water-milk and butter fat no | trace! Typhoid, scarlet fever. sleeping sickness, chilblains. narrowing ambitions and pollywogs have all been discovered ! in one spoonful of milk and S67 tubercule 1 bacilli crawled up the spoon handle and escaped while the investigator stopped to scratch his ear
 l "Butterine is manufactured under the
 most perfect chemical sanitary condi- tons, and there is no COW with tuber-
 culosis in the factory, nor is there any [ opportunity for one to step into the ! milk bucket. There is no typhoid-tainted well to wash the milk pans in, nor any farmland with yellow jaundice to han
 dle' the milk.
 1 What the incubator is to the hen the oleo manufacturer is to the COW, and when oleo was first introduced into this country. if it had not been put forward as an improvement on butter instead of a cheap substitute for it. and the price had been higher than butter all the best places would have been serving it and the persons social standing would have 1 been regulated by whether he ate com mon butter or the new scientific m- provement on it! There is another thing | in favor of oleo. too. The makers of 1 it can eat as much garlic as they please without affecting the flavor of the prod uct in any way. while with the COW it's different. You know her fatcory is on the inside of her. She is not only the producer, but the manufacturer as well. Me for the horseless carriage me for the henless egg, me for the hogless lard. and me for the cowless butter! No man can tell me that any COW knows as much about sanitary manufacture of but ter a spotless factory, presided over by corps of competent chemists. How could she? She never went to college" But don't you think the farmers should be protected against monopolies like this oleo thing?" asked Imogene.
 "Jumpin grasshoppers, womani It's time to let up on the honest farmers S watchful bark At the present price of his products the farmer has the world
 by the tail and a down-hll pull, Whats the matter with giving anything but scarlet fever in the cream, locomotor
 ataxia in the butter and atrophy of the
 bank book? Imogene, did you ever see
 COW flea?"
 How can you talk about such things."
 she said. 'I can never eat butter again.
 Do they have 'em?"
 Deed l don't know" grinned Andrew. Everything else does"