davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1920-12-03
JOE RAY TO RETIRE
FROM RUNNING GAME
Western Track Star DISCOURAGED
Over His Defeats.
Many Reverses Overseas Lead Him "a
Conclusion That He Has Reached
End of His Rope-Had Things
His Own Way.

Joie Ray, the dapper little mile run.
ner of the Illinois A. c., and present
A. A. U. national indoor and outdoor
mile champion, will retire from the
athletic game.
According to report from abroad
where Ray has been running, the won.
derful little athlete from the West has
become sick and tired from his many
reverses overseas and has come to the
conclusion that he has reached the end
OF his rope in the track game.
One of the Greatest.
If Ray sticks to his intention, the
American long-distance running game
will lose one Of the greatest perform
ers that ever wore shoe. Rays name
has almost become a household word
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1920-12-03
The Funny Man.

Jones met his friend Stimson in the
street the other night.
Halo. old fellowt'' he exclaimed.
"How are you getting on?"
Pretty WELL thank you" answered
Stimson; but" he continued, I've
something to say to you-you'n have
to keep your eye open next week"
"How is that?" queried Jones.
Because you won't be able to see
if you don't" and before Jones could
kick him he was out of sight-Edin-
burgh Scotsman.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1920-12-03
Whitfield WOULD HIT HURLER
AS Much Reason for Batter smuggling
Pitcher as There Is for busting
Off Batsman.

George Whitfield Of the Pittsburgh
Pirates says there is just as much rea-
son in a pitcher throwing baseball
to brighten a batter as there would
be in a batter taking bat and break
ing the arm of a pitcher whom he
could not Iit-same theory in each
case. And Whitfield hints that If he
finds any pitcher trying to dust him
off he'll do just that trick of equal
izing things by busting the offending
pitchers arm.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1920-12-03
Catarrh

Catarrh is a local disease greatly infiu-
enced by constitutional conditions.
HALLS CATARRH MEDICINE is q
Tonic and Blood Purifier. BY cleansing
the blood and building up the System,
HALLS CATARRH MEDICINE restores
normal conditions and allows Nature to
do it's work.
All Druggists. Circulars free
T. ]. Cheney & Co., Toledo, Ohio.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1920-12-03
One Ihinn AnxhoM.

Teacher-Now, who can tell just
what is meant by the saying: "All men
are created equalf" We all know that
some of US are born with wealth and
many other advantages not shared by
all.
"We are all created with an equal
need for Clothes" suggested Johnny.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1920-12-03
More Wins But

Trusty, a six-year-old platter, won
eleven races last year while Man o.
War copied but nine. But here's the
difference; Trusty's earnings were
$6,SS4, and the wonder horse picked
up SS3,325 in change.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1920-12-03

Remember on every occasion which
leads thee to vexation to apply this
principle, that this is not a misfortune
but that to bear it nobly is good for
tune.-Marcus Aurelius.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1920-12-03
A BATCH OF HOWLERS

James I. died from argue
An eyrie is needles nest.
Esau was the author of book of
fables.
A Jacobite was man descended
from Jacob.
The deacon is the lowest kind of
Christian there is.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1920-12-03
As Lardner Tells II.

Here is the way Ring Lardner writes
of Wambsganss' triple play: "Kilduff
and Miller got base hits off Bagby
and then Mitchell cleaned the bases
with line drive to Wambsganss.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1920-12-03
Watered Stock

Jimmie Visiting his uncle in the
country)-Oh, Uncle George, your
hired man is not honest. He let tn
cows drink a whole lot of water just
before he MIXED them.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1920-12-03

Never hold anyone by the button
or the hand in order to be heard out
for if people are unwilling to hear you,
you had better hold your tongue than
them.-Lord Chesterfield.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1920-12-03
Haack,s Club

Promoter Hack is doing nice bust
ness at his boxing club. Memphis has
always been a Mecca for boxers. Dixie
produces some good fighters, too.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1920-12-03
Throp to Coach New York

Edward Thorp, coach of the cham
pion basketball team at New York
university, has signed contract to
coach the same quintet for the coming
season.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1920-12-03
Another RrickIeY.

Arthur Brickley, freshman at Column
bia university, is trying to become as
famous with his kicking toe as did his
brother Charley.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1920-12-03
nenree Rule Abolished

The degree rule at Pennsylvania has
been abolished. 1t prevented a degree
man from another college taking part
In Penn athletics.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1920-12-03

the United States, and N. A. Neus-
slein, civilian of Washington, won
the small-bore individual champion
ship.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1920-12-03
Shift Captains.

Georgetown university has adopted
the rule of the revolving captain sys-
TEN. A different player captains the
eleven each week.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1920-12-03
Ante Over.

Boxing costs more in Seattle than 1t
did a year ago. Fans say they are
willing to pay the freight If they get
the proper deliveries.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1920-12-03
The Proverb Refuted.

my husbands a doctor"
HAS he practiced longT
ayes. but it hasn't made him per-
fect."-Boston Transcript.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1920-12-03
NO RIBS TO SPARE

All other unplayable lies on a
golf course appear as nothing
when contrasted with new
story emanating from the Den
yer Country club. A member
of foursome playing the sixth
hole made shot from the fair
way In behind a bunker, but
pulled his ball in the general d.
rection of the seventh tee. The
sphere bounded, struck caddy
on the head, then caromed over
L. B. Bromfield, who was on the
tee ready to drive, and landed
In the shirt pocket of r. P.
Barry, who was standing be-
side the tee. A fine argument
resulted over the manner Of
playing the next shot. Several
members In the group proposed
that they lay Barry down with
his head toward the hole and
let the owner play his ball out
of the pocket as best he could.
Barry couldn't see the wisdom
of this proposal from any angle,
his principal objection being
that he had no extra ribs to
spare
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1920-12-03

No one is useless in the world who
lightens the burden of it for anyone
else.-DickenS.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1920-12-03
SENTENCE SERMONS

To be feared of thing and yet to
do it, is just what makes the prettiest
kind of q man.-Stevenson.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1920-12-03
She Would. of Course.

'fWhere are you going. MaggieT
asked Lizzie.
I'm going to the dentist" said
Maggie.
Are you going to have gas?"
"Well, rather" said Maggie. "You
won't find me sitting in the dark with
no strange man. Houston Post.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1920-12-03
Quite So,

''They say now that shoes are COM
ing down" ''That is very good
movement to be on foot
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1920-12-03
Naturally.

what gushing style the new
author has" Probably because he
uses q fountain pen"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1920-12-03

A barking dog was never a good
hunter.-Portuguese proverb.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1920-12-03

Many an embryo statesmen lands in
jail before he has chance to make
good.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1920-12-03

Probably the most serene situation
in life is not to have to manage" any
body.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1920-12-03

Do you want to get rid Of worms or
Tapeworm? Use Dead Shot"-Dr. Peery's
Vermifue,. One dose cleans them out.-Adv.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1920-12-03

When you have decided that the worms
Or Tapeworrn must be exterminated, get
Dead Shot'-Dr Peery's Vermifuge. One
dose will clean them all out-Adv
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1920-12-03

Statistics show that more persons
commit suicide on Tuesday than on
any other day of the week.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1920-12-03

If man swears loud enough and
long enough the women folks will get
used to it. Their hearts and souls
may turn to stone.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1920-12-03

More people die from head failure
than from heart failure.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1920-12-03
Literal Depression.

"Are his spirits low?''
swell, he has the deepest cellar
ever saw private stock put H."
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1920-12-03
Games In Far East.

China will stage the Far Eastern
A. A. games in 1921.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1920-12-03
DO NEITHER

Swearing spoils your chances for
happiness in the next world.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1920-12-03

Nagging precludes happiness in this
present mundane sphere.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1920-12-03
He Knew.

Teacher-Edwin. what is the best
time for picking apples?
Edwin-When the farmer amt look
in'.-Boston Transcript.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1920-12-03

Nagging does not turn hearts to
stone. 1t wears them away to nothing.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1920-12-03

Once in a great while young man
gets busy and does things in spite OF
his inherited wealth.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1920-12-03

When you have choice of two
evils take neither.-E. B. Whiting,
Connecticut
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1920-12-03
important to Mothers
Birds Power of Vision.

Birds Power of Vision.
A birds power of vision is, on the
average, about 100 times greater than
mans. Birds have been known to
see worm on freshly plowed ground
at distance of 300 feet.
The Glenwood post., 1920-04-03
GLENwooD RESIDENCE FOR SALE

l am offering for sale at bargain a
six room house with bath, hot and cold
water, electric lights, screened in por n,
plenty of cellar room, hot water heat
ing system etc. This house i, in good
condition and is conveniently arrang
ed Located on two lots in a choice
residence portion of the town. Splen-
did lot of furniture, carpets, bedding
etc. goes with the property at practic
ally the price of the house alone. If
you want Glenwood home and mean
business, it will pay you to see me at
once. Terms given the right party on
part of purchase price. The property
will be shown by appointment.
A. J. DICKSON.
The Glenwood post., 1920-04-03
PLENTY OF PROOF
From People You Know-From Glen
wood Springs Citizens

The greatest skeptic can hardly fail
to be convinced by evidence like this
1t is impossible to produce better proof
of merit than the testimony of resi-
dents of Glcnwood Springs, of people
who can be seen at any time. Read
the following case of it:
G. M. Berry, farmer, Spring Valley
district, Glenwood Springs, says: "For
several years I have counted on Doan 5.
Kidney Pills for relief from kidney
trouble. Hard work during the sum
mer and not enough exercise during the
winter affected my kidneys. 1 have
had attacks of back lameness AMI
numbness of my limbs. 1t was fortu-
nate for me / heard of Doan's Kidney
ills for they sure have saved me
from much Misery
Price 60c, at all dealers. Don It
simply ask for kidney remedy-set
Doan's Kidney Pills-the same that
Mr.. Berry had. Foster Milburn Co.,
Mfrs, Buffalo, N. Z.
The Glenwood post., 1920-04-03
COME TO aLENwooD

.Glenwood Springs has the name the
country over as one Of the prettiest
and most desirable little cities in which
to make home. Those who have
travelled in the East and in the West
are charmed with Glenwood and its
unsurpassed natural sdvantages.s 1t -
destined to become THE residence city
of the Western Slope. Why not Sc
cure for yourself home in this beau
tiful up-to-date little city, The new
Garfield County High school adds much
10 the attractiveness of the place as a
home city.
l can offer you bargain in splen
did residence location. Four lots on a
corner, six-room house in good condi-
ton; large coal house and kindling bin.
chicken houses with ample room and
lots for over 200 fowls, nice garden
with plenty of room for more; bearing
cherry trees. Plenty of room for build
ing large residence or three or four
cottages. $1,000 will handle the pro
perty and the balance can be paid IN
easy installments. Remember, 4-lot
corners are mighty scarce in Glenwood.
If you want good thing see me about
this. The price is right.
A. J. DICKSON
The Glenwood post., 1920-04-03
AUTO CAMPS ARE
WINNING POPULARITY

Writing in the March number of the
American Motorist on the growth of
motor car camping, the increasing
establishment of municipal camp sites
and the mutual advantages thereof, A
l.. Westgard, field representative Of
the A. A. A., says:
During the. last summer the city
of Walla Walla, Wash, entertained
2.7a1 motor car parties in the free
camping grounds set aside for their
use by the municipality. 1t is claim
I'D that these tourists spent about
$4,000 month with the city's msr-
chants, and that forty-six parties 10
Gated permanently in the city or this
immediate vicinity.
eat Springervilie, Ariz., 6,167 cars
registered during the last season. No
estimate is given as to the amount
the occupants of these cars spent i'll
the community, but it is safe to say
that it was at lea'. 100000.
"The west, however, did not have
tight monopoly On this traffic IF
motor car campers. Along the high
ways Of the East, in the Lake reg on,
the Adirondack and the Catskill noun
tains of New York, on the hilFAides
and SUBMITS of the Green and White
mountains Of New England, the Blue
Ridge of Pcnnsylvania and Virginia
the Appalachian mountain rang, a.
far M Georgiai yes, among the palms
Of Florida and ON the plains Of Texas,
everywhere Thousands Of camp fires
rlittcred nightly during the last year.
The Glenwood post., 1920-04-03
NO OFFICIAL BALLOT
IN STATE PRIMARY

Colorado Springs, March 3O.-There
will be no unofficial preferential bal
lot on the presidential candidates at
the precinct primaries in Colorado.
This statement was made this morn
ing by Rush l.. Holland chairman OF
the Republican state central committee
following the receipt of letter from
officials of the Leonard Wood Repub-
lican club of Colorado, which suggest
ed the voting innovation
The unofficial ballot was suggested
for the purpose of giving Republican
voters a more direct part in the cleo
tion of delegates to the Chicago con
vention. Mr.. Holland, is refusing to
instruct county chairman to provide
for the preferential ballot, gave the
following reasons for his action:
There is no precedent for such a
ballot in the political history of the
state.
There is no demand for it from the
Republican party as a whole.
The sentiment in Colorado, appar.
emily is to send uninstructed dele
gates to the national convention. Del
egates should not be influenced by an
unofficial ballot. which is no more
than a straw vote.
Mr.. Holland said that he would
make reply to the Wood club letter
Immediately.
The Glenwood post., 1920-04-03

ing the property ideal for stock pur-
poses winter and summer. 1 can Of
fer for a short time at $45 per acre,
and it is well worth the money.
$50 acres of patented land; A No. |
water right. Place is all fenced; i'm
provements consist of a log cabin, a
splendid barn 33x33 with loft room
for 40 tons of hay. $50 acres or more
range in Garfield county, both public
domain and forest reserve. Price $22
per acre. Best stock range in Gar
field county. Cattle, horses and machin
cry for sale separately.
A. J. DICKSC
The Glenwood post., 1920-04-03
LIVE STOCK OUTLOOK BRIGHT

Denver, March ga live STOCK
boom for Denver and Colorado was
predicted in an interview yesterday
by A. +. Ricqles, president of the
American Live Stock and Loan com
pauy, on his return to the city from
month s trip over large part Of
the United States.
Illustrating his own confidence in
the future. Mr.. deRicqles announced
that his company has just contracted
for 10000 2-year-old steers for its
ranches and will buy $4,000 more.
81 found that interest was very
general in the live stock business and
that people were inquiring about
ranen properties and opportunities,
said Mr.. de Ricqles.
"Heavy rains over the Pacific coast
states, Kansas and the grass sections
tributary to the Missouri river will
insure summer grass, besides having
saved the winter wheat crop.'
Mr.. de Ricqles stated that he felt
there would be fairly good demand
for 2-year-old steers and he believes
that class of cattle is the most econ
omical and is in the best supply at
this time. Texas men, he stated, have
bought up yearlings at probably
higher price than Northern men can
afford to pay"
Regarding prices, Mr. de RicQ'cs
stated: Initiation of the currency is
the big element in keeping up high
prices. So long as this enormous
an cunt of money is available prices
will remain high and the probabilities
are that when the prices start to de-
cline they will follow the deflation of
the currency, which, naturally, must
be gradual"
The Glenwood post., 1920-04-03
DRY HOLLOW and DIVIDE CREEK

Mrs. Annie Hazelbush returned
home Monday after two months
visit with relatives in Pittsburg and
st. Louis
Born to Mrs. Graham, 9h pound
baby boy, Tuesday. All concerned are
doing fine.
James Israel and family moved to
Grand Junction Thursday and w.
Stockton has moved into their house.
Antlers Sunday.
About fifty friends of Miss Ruth
Ferguson gave her farewell party
Friday evening, refreshments were
furnished by the guests. Cards and
dancing were INDUCED in until the
wee sma' hours
Dave Llewellyn and wife spent
Tuesday and Wednesday visiting at
the VIM. jenkins home.
w. A. Cabe and wife, W. E. Skitf
wife and baby, Leon Cabe, wife and
baby, autoed to Glenwood Tuesday.
Marion Stobaugh was Silt visitor
Thursday.
w. ]. Smart, wife and baby autoed
to Rifle Wednesday.
F. NJ. stobaugh is building quite en-
addition to his house this week.
H. M. Sanders, Mrs. Sanders, Ben
Burns and Mrs Burns autoed to Rihc
Thursday.
JUST RECEIVED, FRESH STOCK
FANCY ALFALFA SEED AT 4e CTS.
PER pOOND.
IT Us. WOODY SUPPLY 90.
The Glenwood post., 1920-04-03
PILES
PILES
PILES

Williams Indian Pile Ointment will
cure Blind, Bleeding and Itching Piles
II absorbs the tumors, allays itching at
once, acting as ponltice gives instant
relief Williams Indian Pile Ointment
IS prepared for pies and itching Of the
private parts. Sold by druggists, mail
soc and $l.0o. williams Mfg. Co.,
proprietors, Cleveland, Ohio.
For sale by w. $. Parkison druggist
and pharmacist.
The Glenwood post., 1920-04-03

here is an unusual picture Of mari
tai felicity. 1t was snapped by
worker fer the Interchurch World
Movement during survey Of living
conditions in the Tennessee Mountain
district. The ysung woman in the
picture. bride Of a few weeks. is
using the mountain substitute for the
cigarette, ''snuff stick"-a stick
coated with snuff and industriously
chewed. Tho habit has two advan-
tages over the gold-tipped cigarette
of the city girl 1t Is more scsnsmteal
The Glenwood post., 1920-04-03
.NLMIpIrtLKMX1S I'm !
W|UIP NI1lGnllDWIglDENn
VI!I51ENNf1t9tN 7
CARBoNDALE

Mrs. Flynn of Grand Junction, pres
ident Of the Western Slope Federation
of Womens' clubs was entertained at
Carbondale by the Study club, with
luncheon at the Mt. View Hotel, Sat
urday, after which she gave an inter
esting talk to those present in rela-
tion to club work, as outlined by the
federation, urging club women to ex,
tend heir work along the lines of com
munity welfare, thrift and Americana
zation, which. no doubt will prove pro-
titable and helpful to club women. The
meeting was attended by the members
of the Sorosis club of Emma, among
whom were Mesdames Willets, Jacobs,
VIM. Harris, Raymond Harris, and
Miss Ruth Snyder
Mrs. w. r. Tubbs returned Sunday
from several weeks visit in Denver
and Carson, Wyoming.
Mr.. and Mrs. Chas Sewell came III
Sunday from three months soiourn
in Sunny California, and report a worry
enjoyable winter.
Charles Harris left Saturday for a
business and pleasure trip to Grand
Junction.
Timothy Hayes is shipping his
household goods to Glenwood Springs,
where he has purchased a fine home,
our loss is Glenwood IS gain, as we are
losing good citizen.
H. l.. Edgerton is moving this week
into their cozy home they purchased
recently from Mr.. Hayes.
Mrs. VIM. J. Pings, Mrs. Geo. Win
ters and Mrs. A. L. Sebree, members
of the registration board for the com
ing city election report two hundred
voters registered, the greatest number
in the history of our little city
Mrs. Eugene H. Grubb departed tho
past week for California, whsre she
expects to remain the coming summer.
Mrs. w. G. Shearer returned Sun.
day from Denver, where she has been
visiting relatives for several weeks.
Mrs. Bolton came in Saturday morn
ing from a short pleasure trip to Den
yer, since her return Mrs. Bolton has
been quite ill.
Thos. Boughton of Marble has been
a guest in the city the past week.
Mr. .Boughton is on his way home from
a winter trip spent in California.
Mr.. Brown of Alamosa, who pur
chased the II. l.. Edgerton ranch came
in with his family Monday and will
take possession of his new home
April LIST.
The Glenwood post., 1920-04-03
EXCELLENT SMALL
RANCH FOR SALE

77A acres, locatel ~ miles from
tarbondale, 35 acres in cultivation and
about the sam in pasture. 4room
house, potato cellar to hold cars of
potatoes, good well with pump at back
door, also spring water near the house.
First class water right and cheapest
ditch in the county to keep in repair.
$4,000 will buy this property if taken
soon; onc-aalf cash, balance on terins
10 suit, aith interest at Z per cent.
A. j. DICKSON
The Glenwood post., 1920-04-03
MEN WANTED TO
SELL GROCERIES
Selling Experience Not Necessary =

One of the worlds largest. grocers,
capital over 81 O,0OO.Oo) wants am
bilious men in your locality to sell di-
rect to consumer nationally known
brands of an extensive line of grocer
les, paints, roofings, lubricating oils,
stock foods, etc. No capital required.
Write today State age and occupation.
John Sextoon & Co., 352 w. Illinois
ST., Chicago, Ill.
The Glenwood post., 1920-04-03

and 1t lasts longer-a we'll made
"snuff stick" having only one rival
for longevity-the 'all day sucker of
school days.
The Interchurch World Movement
finds distressful ignorance and pow
erty among these mountain folks and
suggests a new religious program
to couple the Bible with practical in
struction in agriculture. Rrry it out
on model farms. with schools good
roads and other community needs a.
the ultimate geal.
The Glenwood post., 1920-04-03
WANT A GLENwooD HOME?

"m offering for sale at bargain,
or might trade on good ranch, a six
room cottage with bath, located on four
lots, with '.elIies, plenty of room for
garden, garage, etc. House in good
condition, but toe small for prese 1T
owner, which is only reason for offer
ng it. If interested inquire of
The Glenwood post., 1920-04-03

A lazy liver leads to chronic dyspep-
ia and constipation-wea the whole
system. Doan's Regulets (30c per box
ct mildly on the liver and bowels. AT
all drug stores. b