The Chattanooga news. [volume] (Chattanooga, Tenn.) 1891-1939, 1920-09-28
Bits'ofByplay
BylOkE McLUKES'c
Copyright. 1920. BY
The Cincinnati enquirer.

Friendship.
Though scores Of men proclaim your
guilt.
And swear they caught you in the.
Though others see the proof, and wilt.
And hold your guilt to be q fact; NJ
Though all the world may stand aloof.
And shun you inyour prison place;
Though courts produce Convincing
And bare the depths d syoyr dis
Your innocence j will proclaim,
To prove your innocence Ill spend
My days, and ! will clear your name,
For damn 1t. man. you are my friend!
Where's That Hero Medal7
A gallant man is Oswald Bore,
That he Is brave you won't dispute;
He went into dry goods store 2
And bought his wife a union suit. n;
Aw. spludae- gta "a INIT
"But don't you know that beautiful
women are dangerousP,' she smiled.
after he had complimented her on her
$50 much the better" he CALAMITY
replied. " Just love TO court danser's
Hey. take this sh'.awayl' he yeils.
The waiter said: "Sir. this fish smells
Because It is a smelt."
Squarlna Things.
1T knew that you would forget all
about this being my birthday" said
Mrs. Butler. bitterly. when Butler got
Your birthday" exclaimed Butler.
why you must be mistaken! Who the
HEX would think you were 81? How
was l gonna know that It was your
birthday BIRTH when hen y yfS don't look d, DAY
oidef imam you w va e year ago.
Where Is the old-time actor y
We hated to see him pass;
Where is the ld-time actor ~. a
Who used. to double in brassr
The Honest Candidate.
political Advertisement In, McCreary
County, KY, Advocatel
I herewith announce myseE to the
voters of McCreary county az candi-
date for nomination on the republican
November election, 1920.
am AZ years old and have been q
citizen of what is now McCreary coun-
ty for the past twenty-three years. l
am miner by profession and a. want ia,'er
Ho, Hum!
Billie Wood says the Reds give him
the blues.
Signs is' Signs. 9,.'
:, Sign in g store window opposite pc
I'VE Make People Steel Springs"
- 'iU Adam. " .A.fs
Poor Adam got in bad one day;
Eve put him on the pan.
Because she overheard him say
He wants a self made man. 4
Luke McLuke.
Then Adam angrily arose.
YOU needn't be so smart
He said FOR everybody knows
That l gave you your start"
Newark Advocate.
Names Is Names. Z,
Charles Compliment lives at Greenup
Kentucky.
Our Daily Special.
Headwork Will Save You Whole
Lot of Foot Work.
Luke McLuke Says. aFE a
Most any man who has been mar
bone OF contention * the 1jdWbohe.
Things are so quiet in matrimonial
circles that we expect the o. I. man
up with the o. {. woman who used to
shoot her husband and they have called
an armstice.
Mother is so used to heing neglected
that she feels highly elated II father
gives her a couple OF tons of coal as
her birthday present.
There are few old fashioned women
eft who think that the only way to
get a floor clean is to get down on
heir knees and scrub 1t.
After few years OF married life
wife quits kissing her husband on the
mouth and merely pecks at his cheek
With her lips
We don't know why 1t Is. But we. do
Inow that you scan alwayssliget
woman mad by staring at her shoes. 4,
What has become OF the. o.. r. woman
Who wore a pair OF whalebone stays
or FIVE years before she needed new
'air?