davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-04-26
Luke McIMkc Saws.

Pimples will make a girl wear a
waist that fastens up around her
throat when pneumonia won't.
Any man can tell you that a lot of
men who haven't half as much brains
as he has are making ore money
than he does.
After a good two-handed talker
cabs for two hours without saying
anything he is likely to close his re-
marks with some crack about women
talking too much.
If the mother of grown children
ear store hair and an artificial
complexion she is sure to tell you
that she was married when she was a
Mere Child.
The skinny mes tell you hat they
would not be fat for the world, and
the fat ones tell you that they would
not be skinny for the world.
A single man knows that he could
gain riches and fame If he were> only
married. And a married man knows
that he could get rich and famous If
he were only single.
And what has become of the o. T.
man who used to MARI a girl who
could make her own dresses and her
own bread?
When q woman has to use a hand
tkerchief she uses a handkerchief. But
you. can't tell what a man will use.
Woman's education has progressed
to a point where h no longer gets
off a street car backward. But you
can't keep her from having a fit be-
fore h opens a telegram.
1t isn't hard for a woman to keep
a secret when she knows that all of
her women ac~quaintances know it.
Will some scientist kindly explain
| why a fat man gets fat out In front
and a fat woman gets fat all the way
around?
And where does n get the
idea that Il Good Figure consists of a
45-inch bust measurement and a 49,
inch hip measurement?
One reason why the children have
mt much faith In Castor Oil Is because
they notice that Mother always takes
Seidlitz Powders.
A Dry crab seems to get a whole lot
of pleasure out of seeing that other
people do not get any pleasure.
When a man gets into a jam he
wants the whole world to stand still
until 1t hears his side of the story.
One nice thing about a wife is that
she will believe all of your lies when
you ARE guilty and won't believe n
word you say when you are NOT
guilty.
Flour is getting so blamed high
that 1t is a whole lot cheaper for a
woman to use talcum powder on her
face.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-04-26


copyright, 1920. by The Mcclure
Newspaper Syndicate.
Mars and Venus are in benefc as
lpect during the early hours of this
day, according to a~strology, but later
Saturn and Uranus are strongly ad-
Verse.
During his role II is well to be ex-
lceedingly cautious, for it IS unusually
easy to be misled. Business projects
most alluring should be carefully con-
Isidered.
The whole tendency in the bust
mess world will be more and more to-
ward immense undertakings that In
lclude many countries and involve mill
lions, the seers forecast, but they warn
of new forces that will work against
autocracy.
4 The stars as foreshadowinG CO.
t~operation and communism seem to
Ipresage growth of wealth and power
Iamong the workers. owing to some
fortuitous condition not counted on
lamong legislators or ~financiers.
Again Venus seems to smile upon
ambitions. This should be a
fortunate rule for women who desire
10 attain places of authority.
1 Education is to offer a woman some
Igreat national opportunity. but not
until there is a critical condition In
schools and colleges.
During this planetary government
military men are likely to be extra
Ordinarily popular among ome
who will support high ambitions on
the part of army men. This Will give
but a false confidence. h seers de-
clare, since army Office will not attain
to the highest place in government
affairs.
Again 1t is prophesied that the par
ltial eclipse of the u next month VIII
be most serious in its effect on Ire
Hand, Persia and Asia Minor. 1t is
Tread as unfortunate for agriculture,
causing a scarcity of the fruits of the
earth.
The Prince of Wales, having the
Sun close TO Mercury, may marry
within the year. His popularity Will
lspread around the globe.
Persons whose birthdate it is should
beware Of false promises. Travelling
land changes in business or residence
Locations may not be fortunate. Busi-
mess affairs should be. pushed along
old Ines.
Children born on this day may meet
with many vicissitudes in life. u
they are likely to have many interest,
ing experiences. Many actors and
artists are born under this sign. Venus
being the principal ruling planet.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-04-26
POLITICS.

When machine politics are in control
Independent voting is made as incon-
yenient as possible. In Newark the
authorities who have the arranging of
the primary ballot to be used to-
morrow nave left no space for the
voters to indicate a preference for any
presidential candidate excepting Wood
and johnson whose names are printed
on the ballot. Republicans who prefer
Hoover, Louden, Harding or n of
the other men mentioned ave no
place to write in the name of their
choice. The large number of voters
in Newark. therefore, can only vote
blindly for uninstructed delegates II
they do not want either Wood OF
Johnson. 1t is a small pieces of bust
ness that is worthy of just such q
machine as is now in control in New
ark.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-04-26
URGING THE CITY PLAN.

A city plan for South AmboyIi Is the
latest thing to be advocated in our
hustling sister municipality and If
Perth Amboy does not look out the
honor of setting the pace will be lost
on this side of the river.
At the meeting of civic committee
of the South Amboy Chamber of Com
merce last week it was decided to adj
ocate a plan which will govern the
future improvement and development
of the city and comprehend its needs
and requirements for years to come.
This is only one of the many things
on the program of the civic COM
mittee, but it is the foundation for all
the rest of the improvements advocat-
cd and If a city plan alone is accom-
plished the Chamber of Commerce
will have justified it's existance if it
did not do anything else.
The possibilities of a city plan in the
way of water front development alone
for South Amboy would fully justify
the expense that would be involved.
AS for parks, residential sections and
monuments. they would all come in
due course of time once the plan is
adopted.
Perth Amboy is still setting the pace
as far as a city plan is concerned for
here we have advanced so far as to
ave the idea endorsed by the city
officials and u preliminary %appropria-
ton of $4,000 has been made to get
the work started. For some reason,
however, the mayor and aldermen do
not seem to be able to get together on
the appointment of a commission TO
take charge of the work. South Am
boy may yet go ahead and have a plan
for future development adopted.
There is no doubt that If South AM
boy should adopt a comprehensive
city plan while Perth Amboy con-
tinues to let matters drift in a hap
hazard without any plan or
with no view into the future. South
Amboy would soon outstrip this city.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-04-26
EDGE AND

In state politics the primaries to.
morrow have developed into a contest
between Senator Edge and former
Governor Stokes for state leadership
in the Republican party. The former
governor is out for Wood for the
presidential nomination and he tried
to get all the New Jersey delegates so
pledged. The two United States
senators. however. refused TO take
d~ictation from Stokes and insist that
they remain unpledgod. They have
agreed to favor any candidate who
gets the majority at tomorrow's pri-
maries whether it be Wood or anyone
else. No doubt the senator's have the
stronger position in this regard as the
primaries are intended not only to
permit the voters to select their W
delegates to the party conventions, but
to instruct the delegates as to whom to
vote for, at the same time.
As matters have developed Stokes
and Edge have locked horns much the
same as County Clerk Cannon and
Brown have locked horns in
the district contest here.
As both Edge and Stokes have a big
following the contest between these
two men has greatly increased the in
terest in tomorrow's primaries.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-04-26

1t behooves Perth Amboy to wake
up. The appropriation for a city plan
lies idle and nothing Is being done TO
make Perth Amboy the city it should
be so as to stop the exodus Of so many
desirable citizens to suburban towns
and at the same time to attract new
residents here.
In the meantime we congratulate
south Amboy on her progressivencss
in taking up the city plan idea and
trust that those back OF it will meet
with the greatest success.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-04-26
OIL Creakinc Shoes.

Have you a pair of shoes that take
cracking spells much too frequently
FOR your comfort and pleasure? II
you have. simply put a small guam
tity Of linseed oil In q shallow dish
or pan and stand the shoe in It for
few hours. This treatment will
not only enectually prevent tho
shr"s from continuing In their
cracking ways, but it will also make
the soles last longer.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-04-26

Higher water rates for Perth Am
boil were to be expected considering
the great project now under way in
the construction of a much needed
reservoir. But when we consider that
Perth Amboy has, for a long time en-
joyed one of the lowest water rates
in the state we have little to COM
plain about.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-04-26
Fire Alarm Boxes

Street and Central r. r.
and First Streets.
Avenue and Paterson st.
2S-High and Lewis Streets
35-Smith and High Streets.
Brunswick Ave. and New St.
and State Streets.
42-Atlantic Terra Gotta Works.
43-Buckingham Ave. and Hartford St.
45-Commerce and Front Streets.
estate and Washington Streets.
47-High and Washington Streets.
64-State and buckingham Ave.
k5-Parker Sc. and Pulaski Ave.
56-Hall Ave. and Charles ST.
5I-State and Wayne Streets.
6s-Near United Lead Works.
59-Maurer.
62-Washington and First Streets.
63-New Brunswick Ave. and Elm Street.
Street and Watson Ave.
65-Commerce and State Streets.
72-Front and Smith Streets.
73-Water and Gordon Streets
74-Kearny Ave. and Gordon Street,
s1-Brace and Hanson Avenues.
s2-Smith and Herbert Streets.
STANDBY Ave. and Washington st.
s4-Lehigh Ave. and Stanford Street,
s5-Near City Hospital.
S7-Amboy and Hall Avenues.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-04-26
GOsIli

We learn from the esteemed Chris
tian Advocate that "a million-dollar
whisky deal was consummated in Gin
cinnati las week, when a drug firm
there purchased 10000 gallons from
a Kentucky distiller." You sure have
to go away from home to hear the
news. lust imagine there are 1000
600 half points of 'fSharkey'' on sale
in Cincinnati and we would not have
known it had we not read the Chris
tian Advocate.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-04-26

HO. Hum
The weather is fairing.
We bring you sad news:
Girls soon will be wearing
Those clumsy white shoes.
The Amateur Poultry Kaiser.
There must be something wrong
with that incubator you sold me the
other day." said Mrs. Newlywed.
"Wha seems to be the trouble ?"
asked the Clerk.
"Whya I've kept 1t hot ever since /
had 1t, but 1t hasn't laid an egg yet ."
replied Mrs. Newlywed.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-04-26
zone Way TO piepenee.n

A pharmacist vas dissatisfied with
4 youthful assistant and requested him
to look for another job. remarklng to
a customer as the boy was leaving:
II can dispense without hlm."-Boys'
life.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-04-26

Telling Her That She Can't BE Flat
tered.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-04-26

The Cause.-The Intoxication of
Love.
The Emect-The Headache Of Mat
rimony.
The Cure-Aromatic Spirits Of Ali
mony.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-04-26
The Horrors of Prohibition

Maybe her husband voted dry and
maybe she is selfish and wants it all
Louisville, Ky, has been granted a
divorce.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-04-26
Arc the Eggs That Way?

Cad In Rochester Democrat and
Chronicle.)
WANTED-Two strong girls TO han
die eggs.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-04-26

This is a fact said Old Man Moat,
Don't grin!
II you desire to be the Goat,
Butt in"
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-04-26
Eyer Try a Shave ON the Rum

Sign on a Fifth street barber shop
in Cincinnati:
Get a Shave and Shine While
You Wait"
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-04-26
Things to Worry About,

A. Wunder has just sold an ice ma
chine to Bigham the Butcher, of Yer
~sailles, Ohio.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-04-26
Well. i Swan !

Did you know that /. d. Claire has
la dairy about two miles from Deca-
tur, Gar
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-04-26

Oh!
This is John Smith talking said
the voice over the phone.
Yes" replied the Agent for the
Patent Burglar Alarm.
" wish you would send a man up
to my home and install one of your
burglar alarms" said the voice.
But we installed a burglar alarm
in your home last week didn't we?"
asked the Agent.
Il know it," replied the voice.
But a burglar broke in ana stole 1t
last night" g..
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-04-26
You WIni

Alex. opines hat the reason there
have been so many bank robberies
lately is because man has to rob a
bank If he wants to be able to buy a
drink of whisky these days.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-04-26

Cad in Louisville Post.)
SHELVING and tables, ladies' and
gents, for sale.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-04-26

Tho Associated Press Is exclusively en-
titled TO the use for publication OF all news
dispatches credited TO It or not otheTNlss
credited In this paper and also the "Sa
news published herein.
The EVENING NEWS IL also q memoer
OF tho American Newspaper Fubtshets g.
ISOLATION aud the Audit Bureau 9i S"'u
tion.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-04-26
ROO-HOOt


From black to- blonde she dyed her
hair.
But she was homely, was Miss
Young;
For her no young man seemed to
Care,
She dyed unhonored and unsung.
Luke McLuke.
To criticise her do not try,
You should some commendation
give;
The dye-man was a needy guy,
/ think she dyed hat he might live.
Newark Advocate.
Let d~ye-apason note arise
Fol one who's played dye-namic
part;
In dying. though she won no prize,
She dyed to win another's heart.
Canton (Ohio) News.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-04-26

She's never in respondent mood.
She'll try to make a hit:
If her complexion isn't good
She will make up for Il.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-04-26

subscrIptior Price BY mail, INCLUDING post,
re and war tar. ] month. 90 cents 1
a. 20
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-04-26
Daily Horoscope
Tuesday. April %, 1920.

rhe stars incline but do not compel
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-04-26

The EVENING MEMS IA always glad 20
receive communications from It's rea1ets,
but letters intended for publication mus, re ~
REASONABLE In leneth and must be sisnea ~
me name aud address Of he writer. u re
Cuested the name viii not be puuHshcu y"
less personalities are INDUCED in.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-04-26
Bits of By-Play

By LUKE McLUKE
Copyright, 1920, the Cincinnati In,
ouirer)
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-04-26

Entered at Postohice at Perth Amboy N
J. as second class mail matter.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-04-26

]. LOGAN c~LEvENGER. Editor.
%. P. ~oLMSTEAD. Business Manager
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-04-26

BRANCH oFFICEs-Ncw York; +. r.
Torthrup. S0a Fifth Avenue. Chieae''
1919. Association Building.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-04-26

'VFEEt DNFs
Don't mind the cold
That now dismays;
1t will get warm
Some of these days.
The Arvada enterprise., 1920-11-25
WHERE AARON BURR coURrer
Hermitage, Famous Colonial Manslea.
10 Now Made Vss Of BY Pro-
duesrs Of FilmA

The Hermitage. a famous mansion
Of colonial days. In which Aaron Burr
ccurted Gnd married Theodosla Pre-
v0st IN 1852. hns been drawn Into the
Irresistible current Of the picture
stage. II stands on the Paramus road.
south Of Tuxedo. aud II the home Of
the granddaughter OF the physician
who years ago purchased II from the
Provost estate. As II stood In l1S2 II
stands today. filled with rare relies Of
colonial times.
A passcrby on the highway recently
was halted suddenly because of the
cOmmotion going on In the doOrynrd Of
the old stone house. Men and women
actors were In abundance every where.
A huge rug had been hung on rope
leading from the. mansion to M Ice
house, to shut OF the toO.brillinnt sun.
over the top Of II wall there came II
realistic shower from hidden gar.
den hose. A dainty maiden. sheltered
by an umbrella. dashed through the
rc'tlug rain with urgen, haste and
found refuge In nn open doorway OF
the Hermitage. The iIlm people were
busy enucting an old colonial picture.
The Arvada enterprise., 1920-11-25
b. DAVID ANDERSON

One Of the most de-
lightful stories you have
ever had = chance to read.
A tale Of love and for
tune seeking among the
Wabash pearl fishers, Of
the fiat woods and contig-
uous country, In the days
when Terre Haute was
only q dot on the map and
Vincennes was the center
Of mid-western settlement
and activity. It was then
. river Of romance, along
which the pearl hunters, a
hardy and adventurous
breed, led . life no less In
tsresting than that Of their
strange brethren in occu-
patton In the South Seas
or In far of Ceylon. A
picture Of rare genius,
cameo cut in it, clearness,
Of our grandfathers' days
and before the present
agricultural empire was
founded.
Watch for This New
Serial in This Paper!
The Arvada enterprise., 1920-11-25
HERMIT HAS STRANGE HOBBY
Has Devoted Many Years to Carving
Figures Out Of the Rocks on
Island Home.

Tho little island Of Rothenern. OF
the coast Of France. has for lts sole
ihlinbitnnt nn eccentric hermit who
for many years has devoted much OF
his time to carving humaniILc 1gurcs
on' II the rocks which slope down 10
the sen.
There nrc hundreds Of them -mustl,
lying on their backs. ms II staring M
n the sky, hut some In II seated pcs
turc and n few standing erect.
The effect Is described by Tie lolii
mr. Science Monthly ns weird aud w.
earthly. the figures looking like pets
He'd men. They ARE undcrsi ond H. tr'
resent biblical characters Along a..
top of the wall In front Of the hrr,nit's
dwelling nrc number of heads. like.
Wise cnrvcd out NJ stone.
The hermitage II on the summit NJ
hs rocks overlooking the cnrvrn s'inr
,iie sen. People who live on ,lc
nchrby mainland call the place the
SAND OF ghosts"
The hermit keeps his scuipfur''.
suept clear Of sand. They seem 10
nav. for him p religious Significance.
--phlladelphIa Ledger.
The Arvada enterprise., 1920-11-25
WAGE WAR ON ALFALFA PESTS
Paeasitss viii d Imported to Fight
Destructive Work Of Wesvli
In Many States.

Within the last dozen years q d.
structive insect called the alfalfa wee.
VII has appeared numerously In north
ern Utah and parts Of Idaho. Wyoming
and Colorado. It 10 q small beetle. and
does q lot Of damage to one Of the
most important forage crops.
The United States bureau Of ento-
mology has been called upon to fight
this beetle. and 10 addition to devislng
means for destroying II has gone 10
far as to import from Europe (whence
the insect camel fly parasites that
prey upon II over there. The parasites
are Matched and bred In little wire
cages covered with cheesecloth. which
are scattered thickly over the alfalfa
fields.
What 10 most desired Is to prevent
the spread Of the beetle into other re-
gions. BY adopting the control meas
ures already worked out the farmer
can prevent injury to his alfalfa at .
cost Of only 81 an acre per annum-
Q cheap rate.
The Arvada enterprise., 1920-11-25
TURKEY HELPED BY GERMANS
Juts Bags, Designed to Block susz
Canal. Are Now Being Put to
Peaceful uss.

Il IL always a pleasure to acknowl-
edge q debt Of gratitude to ones foes.
The German occupation has left many
q nightmare In this poor land; but
some benefits as well. One Of these
has recently come to light. Hundreds
Of poor sre peddling on the streets OF
Constantinop:e jute bags, with handles,
which are very convenient for carrying
home rice or onions or bread or patti
ian (egg-plant) or any other purchase.
For six or seven cents, one can have q
good strong bag.
The story of these Is interesting.
During the early days Of the war. when
the campaign against Egypt was un-
dertaken, the plan was conceived OF
driving the British back to the Suez
canal, flling up the canal with the
sands Of the desert. and walking over
into the new Promised Land, and thus
delivering" Egypt from the yoke OF
tyranny. To facilitate this project.
the Germans sent into this country
millions Of jute bags. which were to
be filled with sand and piled into the
canal in q hurry when the eonquerlng
Invaders reached Its banks.
When the American committee for
relief in the near East sent out its
shiploads Of supplies for the starving
Of this country. and no warehouses
could be had for love or money at Con-
stantinople, the fine large German
warehouses at Derindje. on the gulf OF
Nicomedia. were requIstioned for this
humanitarian. purpose. and granted to
the relief committee. In these were
found about one million Of these Ger
man bags. For q long time they were
left alone; but recently some enter
prising Arm has got hold Of them, cut
each one In two 80 ~ to make II Of
convenient size, stitched up the ends,
put handles on-and the population Of
Constantinople thanks the Germans
for their unlntenti0nal gift! And the
Sues canal Is still open for traffic
From the Orient, Constantlnopls.
The Arvada enterprise., 1920-11-25
New slen pssts.

One Of the things most admired In
France by the doughboy intrusted with
tho delivery Of important messages, or
truck loads Of ammunition. was the
sign posts telling him precisely how
far he was from his destination. But
they were antlQuated In some In
stances. and 20 small that they could
not be rend at q distance. Just be-
fore the outbreak Of the war France
was planning to have them replaced
By larger ones arranged on q ilore
scientific basis. Then came the war.
1t now costs lS5 francs to set up one
sign post. and France needs $1,000 Of
them.
The French government. being IN.
willing to finance the scheme At the
present high cost Of iron. concrete and
paint. Andre Michelin. president Of
the Aero club Of France, has under
taken to supply the republic with the
neeessary guides.
The Arvada enterprise., 1920-11-25
a. y PILES Up WEALTH BUT
PASSES AWAY UNHAPPY

Wave you ever noticed small be =
20 yyhistling down the street? Eo
happy.
Some day, though, he may not ! 9
~ happy. He may be president OF
= United States instead.
It's too bad we can't carry ou,
r'- herance Of happiness through life
into the grave, instead Of l"av.
'-c it at the Threshold Of manhood
rs most Of US do.
When we reach manhod', estate
we plunge into the business Of piling
~ money, and the pile is ney"' sat
irfactory until 1t Is lsrger tar our
needs require. Even then we ycarn
for more.
Some people never really enjoy
,eir money because they never stop
accunulating It long enough to take
rest. They forget the days when
hey were whistling kids. and Joy
vas their portion in life.
Tnnnlly they die and leave their
a " for their relatives to scrap
py r and squander.
Perhaps they find in the hereafter
the happiness they denied themselves
in this life. But we doubt It. Even
II they squeeze into heaven they
wun' remembcr how to whistle.
Whistling kids who discard their
happiness in their prime will become
--orose in old age.
Nor can charge leopard's spots
'y leubing on a little paint. But in
tine the paint will wear off and the
pots will still be there.
So It is with man. He can money
grub through the years Of his prime
md in the winter Of life he can fool
tNe people by assuming . happiness
hr does not feel. But under the sur
face the canker still works. It will
never heal.
Encourage your boy to whistle.
Induce him to whistle stirring tune
every day Of his life.
Then he will carry his whistling to
the grave. and the harps Of the
ANGLES will be in harmony with his
soul.