The Oakes times. [volume] (Oakes, N.D.) 1906-current, 1920-01-15
THE JOYS OF BEING AN EDITOR

THE JOYS OF BEING AN EDITOR
Roe Fulkerson Believes Publishing a
Paper to Be the Ideal Life
Doc Logan sent in the following
and as he is pretty good old scout
we reproduce it:
"My, it must be nice to have mon
ey," sighed Imogene. II see that the
Van Astorpoole's have taken big
party of friends on yachting cruise
in Bermuda waters. If l had money
l believe l would live on big yacht. %
She laid down her paper and looked
questioningly at Andrew.
you'll play it alone, then," he said
briefly.
"Why, wouldn't you like to live on
yacht 2" she asked.
"Nixey," said Andrew. IF were
independent of all labor would choose
an entirely different amusement.
~ would own and edit country
newspaper. l do not know anything
more pleasing in this world than for
me to record the exciting fact that
Sally Teefentaller has Sundayed with
Mrs. Lem Towers.
"The world could give me no great
er reward for the good life l have
lived than to allow me to go to a meet
ing of the school board and help them
decide whether they would give the
school in District 8 to Jim Gimball's
boy who has just graduated from high
school or to Widow Alexander's red
headed girl who had it last year.
"These are the real vital things in
life, anyhow. What boots it if the
whole world is agitated over the peace
treaty and the league Of nations? The
important thing in this country is who
is going to teach the young idea how
to shoot-even if it is only how to
shoot spitballs.
"Then l want to write an editorial
on the question of taxes, and when the
paper is published go down to Silas
Morgan's wagon shop and hear what
Silas has to say about my views.
II want to write scathing editorials
about the low-browed shrimp who
runs the opposition sheet in our town
and point out to the public that he
and his party have never been right
on single issue that has come before
the American people since the war
Of 1912.
81 want to get so cents for publish
ing an ad telling the public that Dave
Hemmingway's red and white Durham
cow has strayed and that he will pay
for her keep if the present possessor
will notify him where she is.
II want to record the fact that
Charlie Hannum, the village barber,
has put in a new chair.
II want the world to know that Zeb
Long, the village constable, has arrest
ed city automobilists who speedetl
through our village and if they keep
comm we will soon have enough mon
ey in the town treasury to complete
the brick sidewalk from the Methodist
church to the drug store.
II want to tell them that the dry
weather has injured the winter wheat
in the uplands.
II want the world to know that the
city market price for eggs is 80 cents
and that when we ship them in the
commission man only pays so cents
and that the farmers should organize
and eliminate the middle man.
II want to publish poem on each
season as it comes, written by the viii
lage dressmaker, where ring and
Spring. June and MOON Autumn
brown and leaves on the ground and
winter snow and woodfires glow all
appear in the time-honored and prop
er places.
II want to sit in my sanctum and
smoke cob pipe. l want to swap a
years subscription for pumpkin.
want to put an eagle at the head of
the editorial page just before election.
I want-I want-a country newspa-
per. That's what want"
II could write the fashions, couldn't
II" asked Imogene, interestedly.
They don't wear your kind Of
clothes in the country" laughed An
drew, coming out Of his dream"
The Clement school children send