The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1920-01-21

When q woman asks for advice
about how to manage 9 husband she
does not desire to be given a reliable
wife in a thousand would have her
husband obey her. IL she could. for
by no one is the hen-pecked man
more despised than by the domestic
1yrant who pecks him
No. BY managing a husband a
woman merely means getting along
with him without friction, getting
him into his evening clothes and out
to q party once q week without q
scene, and generally getting what Ia
coming to q wife without having to
use a sandbag. or Jimmy to obtain
1t. And more especially. she means
working some sort Of q con5ure on
him 30 that he will always see her
surrounded by the romantic halo Of a
lady-love, instead Of in the proaaic
attitude of q useful household con-
venience.
Therefore the study of how to man.
age a husband Is got only q proper
one for wives. but one that shall be
accounted unto them for merit, as
Mr.. Kipling would say. Especially by
husbands, for undoubtedly 1t is much
more soothing to have our fur rubbed
the right way than the wrong. and
pleasanter to be beguiled along the
pathway we should 60 than 1t Is tc
be Nprodded along 1t.
The great original tip on this I'M
portant subject is that which the frs'
woman whispered into the ear Of heI
eldest daughter. She said: Feed the
brute" And Lllith, or Eve. or what
ever her name was. shook her coarse
red hair out of her little eyes and
smiling wisely passed over the mar.
row bones, and the liver. and the ten.
derloin of the beast she had just slain
to her liege lord. and he grunted con-
tentedly as he gnawed them. and stood
his club UP against the cave wall, and
thus was domestic diplomacy borr
into the world.
! Aeons OF time have elapsed since
then. but it has not changed the mas
culine stomach. nor its relation Il
masculine psychology. nor made lesi
potent the ameliorating effects Of q
good meal on a mans disposition
When God made a mans tumpy
twice as big as his head, or his heart
He delivered him over into his wife's
hands. and II she has not enough
gumption to work her cinch for al
it is worth it is her own stupidity.
The wise woman. however. never for.
gets that beauty may fade. and vii
pail. but that q good dinner Is Away.
good dinner, and draws a man a.
Iirresistibly as a magnet draws Q
needle. No superiative cook ever fig
ures in the courts in the ranks of the
deserted wives. No man who cal
count on finding on his own table JUS
the particular tidIbit that he mos
fsncies. prepared Just as he likes 1t
becomes a-round-the-town rounder
nor are all the ten commandments e
potent in keeping a husband nailed t.
his own fireside Of an evening as thai
gorged feeling that makes one toe
heavy and satiated to move in search
Of adventure.
Observe. ladies. arCy will Sc.
that all the Don Jrsns have. like
Cassius. a lean and hungry look
The fat men never figure as Lo.
tharios, and afinities and SOU
mates. Then realize that a wife,
best aid in keeping her husband
Is her gas range. and act upon the
knowledge.
The first axiom In managing q
husband is: Feed him. The second
is Wait Until he is Fed. and ha.
smoked his first cigar. or pine. be.
fore you make a request of him
or tell him anything unpleasant
Don't meet a tired. hungry. nerve.
racked man at the front door of ar
evening with a budget Of bad news