The Mellette County pioneer. [volume] (Wood, Mellette County, S.D.) 19??-1971, 1920-01-09

q "UN Anu ttIC tEVAhAG VI rs DtovS
Latest Bulletin; The high cost Of
living Is still the III. c. l..
Be an optomist, Madeline! Perhaps
you can annex him this year.
Remember, brother, it's 1920. We
made the same mistake ourself.
The wise mar plans for the years
to come. The fool prattles OF those
that have flown.
Nineteen twenty Is a year Of great
possibilities. But there Is an ocean
of space between possibility and actu
atty.
Americans, first In everything, have
discovered the latest method of COM
uniting suicide. It's wood alcohol
booze.
The smile that won't come of is Of
little value to the world. 1t is found
ed on nothing and Is gagged by its
origin.
In the lipht of the Christmas fatal
tiles, It is somewhat dangerous now
to invite your friend to ''step up and
name his poison"
The best way to prevent the pre-
dlcted panic Is to keep your money
In circulation. Start the good work
by shooting another subscription our
way.
Our bloated m~illionaires are again
experiencing the ex%cruciating pains
Of financial worry. It's time to begin
figuring on how to beat the income
tax.
The cost of food Is 81 per cent In
excess Of what 1t was five years ago,
but we haven't noticed any proper
tionatc shrinkage in the American
stomach
That hundred million dollars John
ID. gave away Christmas morning is
at the rate OF one plunk for every per
son In the United States. Were you
plunkedY
The senate, like the grounding, is
evincing signs Of crawling out of It's
hole with regard to the peace treaty.
But, then, a shadow NAV drive 1t
back again.
We appear TO enjoy the rare distin-
ction Of being the only people on earth
who can put the finishing touches to
q war and then cannot make peace
after II Is done.
A Paris seeress predicts that 1920
will be q year Of turmoil in America.
In that, however, we find some conso-
lation. She didn't predict that 1t
would be worse than the year that
has passed.
No longer can we sven question the
godliness of our preachers. Any man
who will give his time for the mis-
erly pittance they receive Is entitled
to . double pair Of wings and special
seat In heaven.
Now get busy on your new income
tax. II you have q yearly income Of
. million dollars you q hand v
the tidy little sum Of 1858, 03O.0O TO
Uncle Sam. The old boy IL not q bit
backward.
Yes we might write columns on the
evils Of wood alchohol booze. But
what's the user H. topper wants to
die that Is q quick and effective meth
Cd, AMI he's sure to receive . "men-
tion" In the press.
Clemenceau Is to be made president
Of France as q reward for his work In
the war. Iloyd-G George, however, can
hardly expect III English cousins to
make him their king, and Mr.. Lam
sing, IL appears, is not gluing his eyes
on the presidency.
It's easy to become famous these
days. Just stick ssProf." before your
name, hitch : few capital letters onto
the tail Of Il, and then break into
print with any Did sort of d.f. state
mont. You'll succeed and will have
plenty Of followers.
The government Il prohibiting so
many things nowadays o wonders
when IL will place : BANJO matrimony
That. however, might be q means Of
r,,,1. tino the marriage market,