The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-06-06

hotel managers and porters further than to give merest directions. should carefully consider his speech. Re- member your tomatoes" and 'eye- thers" and "neyethers" when in Lon don. And pronounce been" as it is spelled; to rhyme with "seen." Never drawl, and those affected with nose buzz should beware. Ah, they'll get you! If you have had only a four year college course in French, it would be judicious not to become chatty with any natives who have anything to barter.
 Earlier we should have gi~u1 some attention to the hair. The feather edge style, not too short, will carry you through. Both London and Paris have proclaimed it as the fashion. As a matter of fact London controls the mems fashions of Europe, which also should have been told you before. The French gentleman unfortunately as- pires to look like the English gentle man, with one exception. This excep- tion is that he prefers the addition of a bushy beard. Such a beard would be a great help to a Tank in France and a few hairs of moustache would not be afniss for cautious women tourists.
 Now for manners. Neither England or France regard women as angels imprisoned in luminous earthly cases Fair Americans should not bout if they don't get seat; and our men should not be hopping up every min- ute in courtesies unusual over here The manners are. in the American cavalier sense, half as bad as New York subway manners, which, thank God, have nothing to do with our great country. But always make way for the aged particularly old men, and you won't give yourself away. It is in official ceremonies. and in atten- tions to tottering grandfathers that that famous French courtliness breaks out.
 If you see signs that read Keep to the Right" This Way Out" "Atten- dez." "Defendu de Fumen." or others of their ilk. regard them merely as evidences of lettering skill or, admin istrative diligence. These people are individualists; rules are made for in dividuals not for them. If you are to pretend to be like them, disengage your efficiency faculty until you get back home. Just mob it around. which is the individualists paradoxical way. It has gone on for hundreds of years. Everybody seems to get finally to their destinations here, and eventually to be served in restaurants. Borrow their composure.
 But while mobbing it, remember that a certain un-American decorum is required of you To pirouette on the sidewalk, to do jazz step or two while waiting on the corner. to go through vamp movements or commit "dougfoolery" in public-which is safe and sane back home-is an awful breach of etiquette in Europe, with the one exception perhaps of Brussels. Only servant girls and their boys are ex- cused for any such horse-play. Never thrill in England, and in France do nothing but thrill statically. It is al- right in Paris to stop and smile digni- fiedly at puppy rolling over on the sidewalk. But there is nothing in written history that should visibly ex- cite you in England if you are living up to your English role.
 Handle your money with native knowingness, and keep it caged up in pocket books. Bills are notes in Eu- rope. There are no nicknames for French coins excepting the five-cen- time sou. but you'll handle more paper than coins in France. In England glibly call a pound note a "quib" and a shilling piece a "bob." Three pence is pronounced "thrippence" or "thrup- pence." the first being the most ele- gant. Three halfpennies are not "a penny and a halfpenny" but three pronounced 'haypence." Tip 10 per cent, the European custom
 A devotion to tea at o'clock in England, and to coffee in a glass at 5 in Paris are in conformance with the habits of old-timers. If you must order a colored beverage in Paris, make it "casss" which is a weak syrup and probably the most popular cafe terrace drink of Frenchmen.
 And now. if you use up your travel CTS checks and have to cable home for more money, you will not be able to say that you were not properly tutored beforehand.