Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1920-02-27

* I
with Apologies to Shakespeare.
And then methought crossed the River Chyx.
Attended By 4 monstrous chicken louise.
We Travelled to that dark and awful realm
Where spirits Of the hens and ROSTERS 60
A rooster there did meet my guilty soul,
A gallant and handsome chanticleer
Who three years since had persisted IN nus
pride
On seeing me he sounded fercely all
The hide0us diapason Of the damned.
And cried aloud in dread heart-shatterlng tones
Hes come at last, that greedy preacher man.
That gluttOnous and ever hungry one,
Who caused my death one Sunday long ago.
The day his stomach came to be my Tomb
Seize on him, brothers, take him to his DOOM!
And then methought gallinaceous band
Upon me came with onset horrible.
And carried me away unto frying pan,
Where l was doomed to bear unending PAIN
Immersed in sizzling stenchful grease OF hog;
And every moment did a red hot fork
Its punctuation make upon my flesh.
Manipulated by war-eyed hen.
Once slaughtered for a preachers feasting day.
e WAYNE STAHL.
1929 18th ST., Rock Island.
There is no hope for a man who spends
all his time arguing with women and babies v
Chicago Daily News.
SPebbles on the Shores Of Life
A smile pays a larger dividend than frown.
It pays to know q good investment.
Every mans heart is made Of the same
material as his garters! Girls beware)'"
Flattery-ah, It's like pleasant dream
how we wish it were true!
Jealous girls, attention! Love is a gamble
While playing at the game Of love, the other
person has as much right to win as you. 1t
pays to be a good loser.
II any one steps on your toes-move your
feet
In selecting husband Tor wife) let your
heart be your guide, Of course. but for Cones
sakes use your brains as a brake OCCASION
ally. CHARLOTTE.
ss(Ed. note: We wonder if Charlotte means
to imply that said hearts have a capacity that
is to say-well, sort of elastic, don't you know
II so we think that an admirable quality, the
kind indicated by that fascinating phrase SO
often found at the close Of great romances
"And they lived happily ever afterward.D
-
Some people are such poor sailors that the
mere sight Of one of these chic spring sailor
hats make them sea sick 1.-THE people, we
mean).
Grief.
Some ones viewing with alarm everywhere
chance to stray, overlooking all the charm
OF the genial winter day. When l leave my
sQualid hut Is minutes after s. l am quite
a cheerful nut and have my smile on straight
ALI the world looks good to me, soothing tt
tho heart and mind: every doggone thing sex
seems a winner OF it's kind But before wall
. block encounter somespoor simp. who puts
up doleful talk from a soul that's pale ant
limp. He admits the skies are bright, that thu
sun b going some: "But," no says, Asgls TINT
tod ofa ill
Everywhere chance to go, some ones viewing
with alarm, handing out big chunks of woe
which will do my spirit harm. When I've
walked . half q mile and have talked witt
seven guys have lost my sunny smile ani
the briny fills my eyes 1t is always thus. my
friend, in the city, on the farm; every place
1 chance to wend some ones viewing with
alTm.-walt Mason, Chicago Daily News.
Musical Item.
The program read: Waltz in a Flat
Said Patrick: BE the pow'rs!
I'm bettin' twinty dollars that
You couldn't waltz in ours!"
-(Judge).
1T is far easier to mend a broken hear
than a broken rib" says the Chicago News ant
who has denied it. we'd like to know? If tn,
rib happens to belong to man, we'd say tina
mending it was a mighty big job compared
with the simple little chore of piecing his hear
together. Any honest man will agree to that
Some one asked US the other day why near
ly all celebrities masculine gender) are bald
headed. We couldn't answer. There are man,
things we do not understand Will some O
our numerous contribs lend hand?
Bernard Coyne, reported to be the TALES
man in the world "can do little work on hi
! fathers farm because of the discomfort o
using machinery intended for smaller men
The law OF compensation is as strong in tn
| world today as it was in Emerson's time