El Paso herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1901-1931, 1920-10-02

. 70 rent q empty Dbl. somewheres and
get inside IL and leave the stopper out
so as some air could get in and shoot
the Fails So she liked the idear and
we engaged a Dbl by the hr. and
come TO find out they wasn't room
enough IN Il for the OF Us 20 ride
at once. so I said we would Flip a
coin and = Il come heads she was 90
90 LIST. and I Tipped a coin and sure
enough IL come heads.
u sunk the $4,000 in some highly
commended investments up 90 sara
toga thar promised a fair yield but
one Of them was facing the other
way when they sprang the barrier
and the other one win but was dis
qualified because the Jockey got con-
fused and used his whip on another
horse that he didn't happen to be
rldelng that day, but they looked a
whole lot alike.
The Second Venture.
The next gal I married was name
Claire and she didn't have no dowry
but she carried $4,000 accident in
surance as she use 10 travel on the
road for vacuum cleaner. Il wasn't
only about a wk. after the honeymoon
that she catched g cold, and il settled
in a hollow tooth and FOR g couple
nights she layed and moued and
finely she said she couldn't stand f.
no more SO 7 lit up the lights and
begin showing her some OF my curios
10 take her mind of the tooth and
one OF them was a double bbl' shot
gun and before j could say Jack
Robertson both bhis. went or right
In her eye The coroner said it was
a accident. and ] give him a $1,000
bonus for good behavior.
NO 8 was name Eloise and
haven't never heard the name before
and kept forgetting it and calling her
q nHHn % q
ne Whoever, ana she knew % and
didn't like 81 very well but 7 couldn't
seem % get out Of the habit and
every time I done it she would start
quarrel and il finely got 20 be a
regular mania for her and she
says the next time ] called her out OF
her name she would croak herself
He Profits By It.
$50 says don't do that Claire and
next think knew she had drank a
pt- Of wood alcohol thinking % was
carbolic acid and when i tried 10
set our Dr.. the line was busy. Eloise
lett me a chest OF silver that her un-
Gle had give her who was IN the
jewellery business and sold for $500.
II was married TO the 9Th. one
name Kate in August and her father
give Us a house and lot. She had hay
fever and a red nose but loved her
and they wasn't a day past when
didn't bring her a bouquet OF some
kind Of flowers. one day the Tourist
didn't have nothing IN stock and I
was kind Of scared to 90 home with
out no bouquet, so 7 stopped by the
side OF the road and picked a nose
gay OF golden rods and tossed IT in
her lap and the % explosion blowed
her up.
The Present Situation.
'The lease said about the present
incumlrants why SO much the better
I've done everything I could for her
but they don't nothing satisfy he'd
Her Oh man was supposed TO be
worth a couple 100 thousand but
when he died they was ciphers mis-
sing OFF fl. We cant afford no cook.
and she use 10 crab about getting up
at Z a m TO cook my breakfast so
$3.50 80 I quit my JOB and become a
carpenter and don't half TO get Up till
10 o'clock & days iu the wk- and not
at all the other g. That's just I eL-
ample u the sacrifices I have made
nut this gal don't know what % IS
90 laugh and don't even crack a smile
when I pull the chair out from under
her as she is going to set down 20
slipper. To make q successful mar
rlaEe they's got 70 be q sense Of
humor on both sides and IN our case
its all ! sided. So all and all claim
theys successes 20 every llV
and as soon as can get I'D Of this
one VIII marry 4 more and stop on
10. 9"
That is what a bird told me that
has had some experience and his
words should ought to carry weight
Personally 7 am not in a position to
speak as sny 1st. wife IS still sticking
Sc out on acct. OF the kiddies but T
suppose 10 you was 70 ask the both
Of US 81 marriage was q success or
failure, the answer would be a tie
] and T.