South Bend news-times. (South Bend, Ind.) 1913-1938, 1920-08-22

martyr president predicts a demo
cratic victory There must be som g.
thing in spirituaiism after all
Germany is solid for a separate
peace with the United States but
Germany isn't our friend
The republican papers that alIude
% the democratic as the Bourbon
party may keep on II they like. II
may cause many wet. bur ignorant.
republicans 20 vote the democratic
ticket
Mr. Burleson IL right IN requiring
the postmasters 20 keep out Of poll
tics Outside Of voting the ticket.
contributing 20 the campaign fund.
and fIi1slnE "a pop bottle or so az th-
republicans when they pass the post
office. we think the postua s-ers
should stick strictly 20 The business
% handling the mails.
When a boy gets so he can run
the car with one hand. the old man
notices that the car seldom reaches
the garage before midnight
Lloyd George sang Star Spanc'ed
Banner the other dav. when El.hu
Root. standing by, didn't even know
the words It's q grand old tune
with a grand old meaning. but how
in the world did the British premier
ever manage 10 remember the
words?
OF course. Il the authorities pur-
sue the home brew industry relent-
lessly, It may become necessary fer
liberty loving sons 20 drink the
fluid Ingredients separately and
then swallow a raisin.
The state Of Indiana. saws a
Washington correspondent. has @
920,544 souls" The figures evident
ly do not include the Indiana repub-
leans and profteers. who have no
souls.
After you have laughed at your
landlord stale jokes for about three
years and he then raises your rent.
YOU must be very careful If YOU want
20 avoid turning bolshevist.
The Ohio State Journal SAYS
girl doesn't have 70 be porch swung
more than three times before the
enga cement Is announced still it
is not always easy 20 tell at first
whether she has been porch-swung.
or porch-stung, but you can tell
when the divorce is granted.
There are some judges who ought
20 be sent 10 a rockpile and some
chauffeurs who ought 70 be sent
10 the lUnatic asylum. a pretty
New York girl offered TO pay her
taxi fare with a kiss. the chauffeur
had her pinched and the judge sent
her up for five DAYS. We can't
imagine Judge Feig doing anything
so mean as that.
II is said Americans consumed
$4,000, 600 pounds more coffee dur
ing the fiscal year ended June 80
than IN the preceding year. There
was no thrill in the coffee; but tho
consumers seem to be fun Of kick.
Supt. D. w Horton tells US The
teachers Of the Mishawaka public
schools are enga ged." And we sup
pose they Will marry az the end OF
the session. This is another ex-
PLANTATION OF the teacher shortage.
II the railroads do not consider
the possibility Of fewer passengers
as a result OF higher fares, then
we'd like TO know what sort Of
symptom II IS that is choking the
wanderlust out OF Us.
An Oklahoma couple have renar-
ried alter a separation OF 33 years.
They have missed the glorious feast
Ing time OF life and get back home
just IN time % voSh the dishes.
The treasury department reports
an unprecedented demand for small
coins but for the life Of us we can't
see what anybody can buy with
them.
Singing hash I'm a cheap restau-
rant isn't much Of a wav for a girl
20 become rich. but IL proba blv
beats marrying man for his
money
Gov. Cox Is merely taking a swing
around the circle now: a little later
he will make the lunge and deliver
the wallop.
Il IS said Sen. Harding is spend
ing more time than usual or the