The Washington herald., 1920-04-28
Excellent Advice = s..'s sssssss s::.s e =.

he took his hat on in an elevator,
and that he stood up when ladies
entered room, and that he never
falls to give his seat to woman on
the car, and you will make a con-
siderate and courteous gentleman Of
him because you have given him n
knightly standard of himself to
which he has to live up.
How we'll this plan works out In
dealing with, children. ! saw very
yividly illustrated once in the case
Of a little boy whom knew. This
child was no student and hated
school. and even disliked to read.
One time when there were guests at
dinner at his home some discussion
arose over point In American his
tory. The little boy, who had just
had that period of history in his
school lesson. was able to set the
whole company right. His gratificd
mother related the circumstance in
his hearing to two or three frienis
on different occasions and wound up
by saying, you know Benny IL quite
! a historian"
Up to that minute Benny had
never taken the slightest interest in
history, but believing that other
people thought he was a historian
and expected him to be an authority
on history, set him to work, and at
last he did become a historian and
professor OF history In a famous
university. He had to make goUd,
and he did.
To be forever harping on chill
dren.s defects simply intensifes
them. To be eternally calling at
tention TO a shy cbild's shyness or
to an awkward child's awkwardness
can have no other effect than to
| make them morbidly self-conscious
and shyer and more awkward still.
To throw. q DUH child's duliness In
its face is to cut off the last ray Of
hope by making 1t feel that Il Is
hopelessly stupid.
But little praise. a little fiattery
will give the shy and the awkward
enough courage to overcome their
defects, a little fostering Of belief
in himself will help the dullard to
make the best Of his limited ability.
And in the marital relationship.
are not husbands and wives largely
responsible for the way they are
treated? II q man never does any
thing but find fault with his wife,
IL he berates her extravaganza, and
criticises her cooking. and sneers
at her judgment. and makes sar-
castle remarks about marriage in
general and his own marriage in
particular. is 1t any wonder that
the wife does not think IL worth
while to take any trouble to please
him. or to make herself attractive
to him, and that she becomes just
as dIsagreeable as he represents
her to be!
But IL a man openly admires his
wife. IL he praises her cooking. and
holds her up as a model OF thrift
and good management. and IL he
boasts that she makes her home the
pleasantest place on earth, is Il not
inevitable that that wife will work
herself to death trying to be the
cook and housekeeper her husband
thinks her to be. and bite her
tongue of rather than say one cross
word that would. spoil the fancy
picture Of her temper that he has
drawn?
And IL a woman is forever COM
planning that her husband is
grouchy and disagreeable to live
with. that he Is cold toward her.
and IL she reads him lectures every
time he comes in a little late at
night, who can blame him IL he JUS
tifies her structures, for there is
small temptation to come home to a
nagging wife, or to kiss whining
lips.
But If a woman is forever telling
, her husband how kind and good
and generous he is to her, and how
she thanks heaven for having
vouchsafed her such a treasure, is
1t not dollars to doughnuts that he
will be to her, indeed. a matrimo-
nial prize.
For 1t is oil and not sand in the
gear box that makes things go and
the salve spreader is mightier than
the hammer.