Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-05-11
Bits of By-Play

Bits of By-Play
BIZ LUKE McLUKE
Copyright 1920. the Cincinnati In
quirer)
No Better on.
Ten years ago he kicked. poor geek.
His pay was fifteen bucks per week.
Today for more he begs and groans.
His pay Is only sixty bones.
ouch!
1t says here hat too many OF our
American girls are fiat-buSted," said
the Old Fogy, as he looked up from
the newspaper he was reading.
'Huhl" replied the Crouch. so
are too many of our American men,"
Obi
"Don't stare at girls" said Mr.. Dover.
Why not?" q k Mdoork .rHe
why not?' asked Mr.. Hooker:
shed rather have you look her over
Than have o overlook her"
The Wise Fool.
Money makes a lot OF trouble in
this world" observed the Sage.
Yes" agreed the Fool. But 1t
makes more troublo for those who
don't hav It than It does for those
who do"
You'll find there are too many men,
Who live in this great nation,
Who look out for their pleasure then
Look out for their salvation.
Then 1t Happened.
II wonder IL you could? ?" unused
the Rummy, as he put a pinch of
snuff into his nea beer to give 1t a
kick.
"You wonder If you could what ?"
demanded h Barkeep as he picked
up a piece of lead pipe.
why, If an unsuccessful doctor
was making a round Of his patients.
| wonder IL you could say that he is
going from bad TO worse?" replied
tho Mummy, as he headed for the
door.
Goo-Bi!
Be keerful, men.
Don't seek a cough
Well tell you when
To take 'em off.
Luke McLuke.
Too bad, old pal,
We couldn't wait
Your good advice
Arrived too late.
Detroit Free Press.
Alta Boy!
Erna Schilling is q Notary Public
In Chicago, III.
The Summer Girl.
(Ad. In Salisbury IN. c. Post.)
Skirts 20 per cent. off.
Waists 20 per cent. off.
Underwear 20 per cent. off.
"Tweet, Tweet!"
If the members will kick In for q
gilded cage we'll see that Gay
Canary, of Helena, Montana. gets in
to the Club.
Oh, Very Well!
We find this headline In the es-
teemed Birmingham Age Herald.
Crook Named Head of State Asso-
citation of Insurance Agents"
Fooeyi
Our doggone language Is balled up,
1t often makes me frown;
We say a house in burning up,
When 1t Is burning down.
Luke McLuke.
Our doggone language Is balled up
1t puzzles mo I've found;
For whhen they want to raZe q house
They tear 1t TO the ground.-Jay.
oh. Pash!
And how would you like to meet
Joy Love of Aurora Illinois?
Famous Day In History.
Under the caption of Fifty Years
Ago Today" we fnd this in the
dear old Milwaukee Sentinel:
The twenty-fifth anniversary of the
first tap of lager peer to have been
drawn In Milwaukee was celebrated
today.
Bless You My Children!
! Rosa May Rust and VIII Thomas
Fly We're married in Nashville Tenn,
on March 10.
Doggone Emu!
I'd like to swat this
Oswald Bat;
He calls his necktie
A cravat.
I'd like to bump that
Henry Vile;
He speaks of his hat
AS a tile.
Canton News.
Our Daily Special
A Grain of Practicing Is Worth a
Ton of Preaching.
Luke McIuk Says.
Men are queer fish. A lot of them
who wouldn't touch liquor when it
was is cents per copy now cheerfully
pay rs cents per copy for 1t and
think they are cheating somebody.
A demand that sounds unreasonable
to the man on whom 1t Is made never
sounds hat way to the man who Is
making 1t.
Why does a Bride worry over a
t ing handmade lingerie? The groom
doesn't know the difference and fur
thermore he doesn't give q whoop.
81 You can't sometimes always tell.
. The man who wears a vacant express
sion in a poker game nay be holding
8 a full house.
This ,s 81 oueer world Wa call wo-