The Birmingham age-herald., 1920-09-05
in the strictest inturpritasion of

the turn constitoot resurVaslon.
 Anuther striking illustrasion of resur- vasion as inturpreted by MT. Webstur would be a prominint citizun going home 1 lait in the evening aftur sitting up with l a sick frend, and in sum lonely spot | total strainger would approach him and 1 demand his mummy and rist watch; hav- 1 ing a naturel prejudise against surren- dering his persunnel effects the pronli- mint citizun spars for time, thereupon the 1 total strainger aforesed hauls out his | resurvasion and sokes him over the koko much to the discumvurt of sed prominint 1 citizun.
 I trust I have maid it plain to the l average reedur what a resurvasion is. 1 The common ordinery garden variety of | a resurvasion is a daHguerus thing to | lay round loose. I would certainly dis | like verry much to marry a woman-if | l was a young man of marrying age l who had laid up a job lot of resurva- sions. I don't imagine, that too many | resurvasions would be conclusive to we'd I ed bliss and tranquility. Evvery thing l mite run along as nice and harmonius | as the 18th amindmint and then some l thing would happen to jar the fammily 1 peace and frend wife would draw out d perfectly good resurvasion in splendid working ordur and .knock gally west all /. your good dimensions. That's one reesun We have so menny divorses theese days
 
 diction-we have too menny of the mod dern up to dait six sillendur resurvasions 1 in the marriage contract
 Most eVVery body who is on the in- side believes that the big truble with the esteemed US Shit is that the Presi- dint started the resurvasion bizness him self When he selected the commission IL go oVver to Paris and confur on the treaty of Peese and the Big Leege-he resurved the rite to pick out his own nunch and he completely omitted the Slnlt The shit was sticking around in pialh Veew wheere most enny boddy with average eyesite couldn't help seeing em and most assurridly enny body who was not stone deef could heer em, but in sum way and posebully in a. misguided mo mint the rresidint forgot to mension enny of the memburs of the August ooddy as part of the ,peese commission. rheereupon the shit got soar They got l so soar they couldn't look pesent for a, lphotografer they couldn't have heen soarer if the House had passed hill cutting out mileage. I sertainly >sympa l thlze with the wife and little helpless children of enny siniter in those un happy days. So the furst thing thev thought about was resurvasons Believe
 me they thought up plenty of them. we no whave list of reservations orig mated and sponsured in the US. shit which so completely plasturs ovver and 1 cuVers up the originel draft of the Ieege that It couldn't be dug out with a steam l shuvel. .ee'i' Most of 'em was hurled at article ten. Artlcle ten simply maid the average slnltor pick out cleen- spot and throw iit According to his inturpritasion article ten took the yung manhood of this country rite from the apron strongs ana Hung him into the mailstorm of Cropean warfare at the will of the ieese. IT theere is enny thing the average sinitor hated above all things ] It was the possibility of such a catass tofree-undur no sircum mstanses must ] our boys be called upon to polse the totturing dynasties of Urope Of corse It was alrite for our boys to go ovyer to Urope and crimp the kysur-spesial 1 ly aftur it looked like If they didn't the kysur would cum ovver heer and squelch the senit and most evyerv thing else-9 milyun of them went and the shit was glad to see 'em go. But 1 It would tear it's hair and let out q ! yelp of dire distress if one or two di visions had to go to help in surpress- i ing a riot and preventing anuther kysur rum kicking sivvilizasion in the
 slats. Far be it frum me to say what 1 IS pest to do-to go in or stay out l put lets be consistint-if we go in lets l go init is not exactly polite to ac- l-cept an invitasion to friends house 1 to meet his trends and associates and | entur on a friendly and mutual entur l prize with them of peeseful and cor | dial nature, and take along conseeled l on your persun a job lot of artillery
 to be used on the slitest provvocasion. 1 Also, if we air not going into the leege 1 and if it won't prevent war-we 1 ought not to-lets prepare for war | for we air surely going to have it. 1 Theere air too menny reesuns why theere should be war to sit round and not get ready for it-unless theere be
 sum powerful factur thro' organiza 1 ton to keep it down. Lets be consistint let us go the hole hog on peese--or | lets get ourselves in such shape that enny half dozen of sem will pawse
 and pondur few before they deside
 to try to harpoon us. Its not rite to ] turn down the peese leege=-and also turn down appropriations for a bigger
 navy and large and inflewensial stock of heavy artillery-we must ac- cept one or the uther. and that's what l the peepul--the plain peepul air deeplv consumed about. I hope I have maid it verry cleer-it seems simple enuff
 Hoping you air the same, yours
 trooly. BILL VINES.