The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-12-05
TENANT-All right, all
l right. l heard you. Send
up the things.

TENANT-All right, all
right. l heard you. Send
= up the things.
1.-THE dumbpditer rdttles and
the tenant produces ttoO eggs
aud q quart OF milk. He In
spects the eggs carefully; then
returns to the shdft.)
Say! You there? Are those eggs
the biggest you've got?
a pduSe.)
I don't believe .lose eggs were
ever near a hen: they're canary's
eggs, that's what they are!
HE closes the door OF the
dumIpditer shaft nOisiIy and
goes to the interior tClephOne.)
Hello! Who's at the switchboard?
Robinson? Well, Robinson, go
around the corner and get bot
tie OF ginger ale-domestic ginger
ale-and two lines. Yes, lines.
Send them up on the dumbwaiter.
HE hangs up, and sinks pain
tulIy into q chair. The dog,
acd00ing his tail turiouslH
rushes to him. The tenant
taking the dogs head bettoeen
his hands, addresses him seri-
Ously.)
Buster. I'm a chump! You didn't
know that, did you Buster?
1.-THE dog ,cags his tail, but
gires no other sign of dssent.)
i didn't have the nerve to pro-
pose to a girl last night, even
though I knew she'd have me:
even though I knew the moment
I said, "Will you marry me-"
she'd throw her arms around my
neck and strangle me! got as
far as her door, and then-then
I thought Of her sitting in there
on the sofa, with sort Of ex
pectant look on her face, and
and my knees began to shiver. end
I thought I'd better have drink
first. SO I had the drink-whis-
key-plain whiskey, with nothing
mixed in it, mind you, and came
back, and I dent feel bit bet
ter-not a bit better than before!
didn't have the nerve to propose
to a lamppost! So I had another
drink plain whiskey and 1t
didn't help-and then I had an
other. and another. and still an
other-quite a flock Of drinks
until began to lose count.
HE pduses.)
We'll, you know I'm not used to
drinking, Buster, and after half
an hour Of it I had enough nerve
to propose to the Queen of Eng
land! marched right out. head
up in the air, and I was going to
ask her to marry me, just like
that! Not the Queen of England
the girl, you know remember
that very well. But when /
wanted to find her door again /
couldn't! I couldn't find her door,
Buster! And it's really not very
hard door to find!
(He pduSes and raises his
hands to his head pith o. gr01n.)
Buster, it's all blank after that
all blank! I might have murdered
somebody on the way home-l
don't know. I had nerve enough
to do anything was full-of
nerve! Hum! Proposing would
have been a cinch! But couldn't
find the girl! l couldn't find the
girl!
(The dumbWditcr rope rdtt'es.
He goes to IL, appearing an in
slant later pith the ginger ale,
1chich he proceeds to pour into
q glass, and the lines, 1chich he
brushes into 1t. He drinks 1t
Sloply.)
Awful stuff. Buster; awful. But
it's good for daddy. Here's to
her!
(Hc losses off the glass aud
searches among tour or IRE
photographs phich decorate the
Centre-tGble.)
This is her picture, Buster. Bus
ter, this is Miss Edmunds. Grace,
this Is Buster.
HE shakes the dogs pd,o
graueIy.)
Grace Edmunds-isn't that a
pretty name? But Grace Ed
munds HOLSTER is prettier, isn't
it? If 1 ever have the nerve to
ask her.
(From some nearby apartment
come the strains OF the "Tored-
dor Song" dtrocionsly rendered
on q predetermined photograph.
he listens, hummino the air,
but suddenly breaks on 10 bring
his fist into his pain, Nth re-
sounding slap
Say, Buster!
(He disappears into the merit