The Miller press. [volume] (Miller, S.D.) 190?-current, 1920-01-01
Lives Of Great Men-Carranza


a full set of chin whiskers in the state
OF Sonora the year the pieplant froze.
His folks named him Venustiana
because he reminded them so much
OF venus-he was so different. At thu
age of three he began studying for
the ministry. but he was SO handy
with a revolver at the age of four that
his parents decided to make him Pres
idant of Mexico, which position he
now holds on Wednesdays and Satur-
days, or whenever there is a bullfight
and Mexico must have a President to
uphold the national dignity.
At the age of five little venustiana
started for the public school, but he
never got there. While on his way to
school he decided that the time was
ripe to begin his political career, and
he returned home, secured a six-shoot-
er and shot his way gradually to the
goyeTnorship of the state. But many
things happened before he got there.
IL has often been wondered why
such a deep hatred should be borne
against Villa by C%arranza. 1t now
transpires that away back in the
eighties, when Venustiana was shoot
ing his way to the governorship, he
met villa, and villa was then a bar
Der .
Venustiana's chief aversion had al
ways been BARRIERS. Shortly after this
meeting Villa forsook barbering for
the more oplite banditry of the open
plain and sage brush, but Carranza
sti!l bore the same bitter feeling to-
ward him. 1t exists to this day. He
often awakens at night with a start
after dreaming that Villa had entered
his palace and cut off his whiskers.
Nenustiana was Governor of Sonora
for a long time, and made such an
honorable record that somebody nam
ed a phonograph after his state and a
cigarmaker in Tombstone, Ariz., who
didn't like Mexicans, named a cigar
after Carranza and killed off half the
smoking population of Sonora.
Eenustiana continued in the govern
orship of Sonora for many years and
everybody liked him. Those who did
Mt stay in Sonora. During the gov
erLship Carranza learned that won
derful brand of diplomacy which so
endeared him to the German Emperor
and the Sultan of Turkey during the
late war.
When Venustiana was Governor of
Sonora old Uncle Porfirio Diaz had
heel presidenting it over Mexico for
so long that everybody thought they
would have to shoot him on Judgment
Day. Suddenly one afternoon Uncle
FOrfiirio decided to take a trip to
Faris, and he never did come back.
Gradually the presidency got around
to Huerta, who drank his way to re-
tirement gracefully and with much
eclat.
Then Venustiasa moved into the
palace at Mexico City, opened the Fall
bull fight, and has been there ever
since. He spends his spare time read
ing official notes from the United
States, and by hard work he hopes to
catch up with these in a year or two.
Just now he is believed to be reading
the notes he received in 1917. Outside
of that he has very little to do.
There may be those who are not
passionately fond of Venustiana's So
ciety, but there is n who promises
n stick to him through thick and thin,
and that one is Villa.
To sum up Carranza's character in
a few words, ii is perhaps only neces-
sary 70 say that he is q great Mexican
diplomat. No delineation of a per-
sonality could be more thorough or