The Washington times., 1920-07-06

me IL I'd let them. I'll AK that. Roll
labor In the mud and then heave IL on
the dump: l guess thatll hold IL
for a while. =
I'LL JUST KICK HIM.
Then there's the farmers confound
them; roaring and kicking around
and having the impudence to say they
will vote the Democratic ticket this
year IL they get any kind of a chance.
Plant my two hind feet squarely In
the pit of MIR. Farmers stomach and
bust him through the roof.
l guess that will fix him so he
won't vote anything but the Repub-
lican ticket so long as he lives. He's
always talking about paintings.
Well, here's joke of mine he ought
to appreciate. Hee. haw!
Pass me a thistle till / think up
another.
Then there's a bunch Of these fun
ny guys always talking about So
ciai progress and social justice and
constitutional liberty and that sort
Of thingsSR =,
They say 1.-The Republicans just
hoisted the black dag and launched
a pirate craft, and 80 they want to
vote for me. Not II l know it.
can attend to that all right" Well
oinB tHC 1IoAoiOBy anu nave
before we scuttle and rob, and that'll
disgust them SO they'll keep away,
you bet. We don't want any nuts of
that kind around-progressive and
radicals and all that, low lot, i
call them.
Then there's the cost of living.
Millions of housewives seem to be
raising a row about that. Crazy.
suppose, but hang it. they're going
to vote, and some of them might
vote with us. Fend 'em on, fend 'em
OF pre-Adamite bunk that won't cut
the cost of living, but will make
these people mad.
Same way ABOUT profiteering. Pull
the ola stun about enforcing, the law.
and all that. 1t makes these bugs
woozy. Then they'll all vote Repub-
lican, every one OF them. Well. say.
do l know how to fix 'em? I guess
yes. Why, l put the nx in asphyxi-
ate.
Then there're those other birds
that moon about moral purpose. and
humanity and duty and democracy
for all the world. and that sort OF
guff. You bet me and Charley Muir
ply know what to do to them guys,
good I am, and proper, hee, haw!
Yes, 1t. looks pretty right to me.
Pm true to tradition. am; I can
guarantee. my own defeat any old
time. Some folks like the comfort
able stall and the abounding hay
NOW, but for me, give me the barren
moorland. and. scanty nibblings on
the dunes. For I'm the original wild
ass of the desert and you can see,
as I said before, I'm true to form.
THE STEERING COMMITTEE.
wonder IL I've got it cinched now.
Wait, there's something else 1 can
always do. 1 can let myself be steered
by a band Of Senators and Congress
men. 1 hear them talking and know
how they stand; don't put anything
in the platform in favor of labor"
says one, "or I'll never get back. My
district is strongly anti-labor,"
Don't say anything real about
the Irish question:" says another.
they're all anti-Irish down my way"
Here" says another, what the
devil do you fellows mean by pro-
posing to come out for immediate
Philippine independence? You just
soft pedal on that. Give 'em the
good old film fam about no un-
necessary delays. There's a lot of
cotton mills in my district. and they
sell cotton goods to them Filipinos"
You see how it is. All I've gotto
do is to listen to tho giant states
men. They'll do the rest and do me,
you bet
Yes, i guess all Is we'll, and
needn't be afraid. i can make folks
vote for Harding whether they want
to Sr don't. Come, defeat as of yore,
make thou thy home with me. Sweet
thought! 1 must lift UP my soul in
song about II.
- ~hA rnd - anil. al
or eager-eyed the paths to victory tread
For me lone wandcrings In a starvelinE
field,
Rude storm, punk chow, the cold, un-
sheltered bed.
why thus I choose you fain perchance
would know,
oh, well-Hee Hsw-I guess God made
me So
ANsasN mi s-aNN