The Bridgeport times and evening farmer., 1920-12-15
ADVICE TO THE
 LOVELORN
(By Beatrice Fairfax.)


 How much are you willing to pay for the things you want most in all the world? What will you do to gain loyal friendship and true love? declaring that love can't be bought and that friendship is free? Those are good e nough sentiments if YOU . want to sound iGsaliStic and actuaBy be a selfish sentimen talist. But the facts in the case are bit differ ent.r
 None of the big prizts of life arc given free. All the worth while things in this world must be won. Dove may flood from one soul to an other in response to trick of speech, a glance of the eye a trait of char acter "a phase of mentality. But there is always cause to produce the electrical effect, in spite of the truth of the old song, 1T don't know why I love you, but I do."
 In this day and generation we talk Q lot about resteSSnesS and the need of change and our jazz ideals. But human nature doesn't change with changing customs and manners. Modes don't make the man, even if they influence his outward seeming. There's still a basic honesty in folks and a normal response to indness and sweetness and devotion and generos- ity. The man or woman who gives unfaith in return for lo.-alty, and who despises tenderness and devotion comes under the heading of weaklIng and rotter There's no evad1ng' the truth of this.
 Friendship is a thing to be earn ed. Sometimes it means putting up with all sorts of inconvenience in the process of adjusting yourself to someone else's personality. Some times it requires accepting disillusion- ment q sa- portion, and then weaving them into the whole pattern with skill and tolerance.
 The give and take of friendship re- quire unselfishness and sacrifice. If you aren't prepared to pay the price eS adjusting your wishes and plans HA fhose of some one else, you can Nope for a well grounded, deeply founded friendship.
 Perhaps you want to go to movie and your friend wants to take walk. Some one has to give in. Perhaps a week later you want to eat at bohemian table de'hote and your friend feels the need of home cooked meal. Again.. some one has to give in. It can't always be the same "some onei" In all friend ships there is a constant series of ad- 5ustments and readjus tments. Folks who friends have to earn the right of self-expression by allowing it in turn.
 If this is true of friendship, think how doubly and triply. and so on to the nth power it is true love.
 If you want love you must learn to merit it. The wife who craves all her husbands devotion must have some qualities beside tn eclaim of her love to hold that devotion. If she can't talk about a thing but the bargains she saw in suits and which moving picture heroine arranges her curls most charmingly, Is it to be supposed that her ambitious young husband will never long to exchange a word or two with some one who has heard of Man O War and the League of Nations If she won't learn bridge is it amazing that her card-loving spouse wants to belong to a club and have a game with the boys now and again? And if a man won't budge from his prejudices to meet his wifes tastes, is it astonish. ing she should at least chafe at his wantou selfi3hness?
 The give and take of human re- lationship is a finely adjusted thing. But through it we earn our friend ships and our loves. And if We won't pay the price in terms of doing our bit to make life 1ivab1e. we can't hope to win or keep deep devotion.