The Coconino sun., 1920-06-18

these trousers Tn ten appeals 10 ms aesthetic tastes. Most of the rest of fend his eyes, except, as is frequently the case, the vision makes him laugh.
 Jimmie doesn't believe that many women wear their trousers graceful ly. We listened to what he had to say, then expressed few views Ourself !; after which we got together and drew up the following set of rules for the fair trouserettes:
 Have 'em cut so one can tell at a distance whether you are going or coming.
 Don't have the hips more than three times as broad as your shoulders.
 Ordinarily, they look better if there is only room for one and half of the wearer's legs in each trouser leg. The same is true of the--er, ah--the form divine and the roominess of the other portion of the trousers that enshrouds it.
 High-heeled red slippers should not be worn with trousers. Though ac- customed to ruffles and embroidery on the bottom of synchronious garments it is as well to forego them on trous- CTS.
 Wear trousers for utility only and not for ornament; because, unless you are indeed favored of the gods, they are not ornamental.
 Any girl knows she's modest so long as she keeps her ears covered.
 Your game doesn't pay as well as the other fellows, but you have the satisfaction of knowing that he knows his game doesn't pay as we'll as some body else's.
 Why worry about something you can't help? Even a dog knows he must lead dogs life.
 Nature tries to cause as little pain as possible. A nut" never knows he is.
 Rev. l.. s. Woodruff, who was here few days ago visiting his brother in-law, Prof. O. H. Richardson, is bald headed. He tells about eating in a restaurant not long ago and finding a hair in his ice cream. He called the waitress and asked her to exchange the ice cream for some honey. Just after beginning to eat the honey he found hair in it. He called the wait ress again and exchanged the honey for piece of apple pie. In the very first mouthful of this he found another hair. This was too much for his pa- tience. He called the waitress and asked for an exclamation.
 She thought for moment, and re- piled:
 Probably the hair in the ice cream came from the ice, which we shaved. And I suppose the hair in the honey came from the comb. But I can't un- derstand how the hair got into the ap- pie pie, unless the pie was made of Baldwin apples"
 Fred Caring says that an acquaint- ance of his got into peck of trouble one night when he took his wife for the first time to a certain restaurant. He ordered honey. The waitress did mt bring it. After while he called her and asked:
 Where's my honey?" "I don't know" answered the wait ress. "Do you mean the black-haired one?"
 Those handsome little savings banks that are being given away by the Arizona Central bank to bidding young financiers are helping e lot in teaching the kids to save. A little Mexican boy got one of them short time ago and very soon afterward came back with $35 in it.
 There was no pomp, no perfumed crush nor Lohrengrin recessional with sweeping bridal train. It was just plain ceremony with quiet breakfast afterwards and short vacation trip where the first frenzy of martial joys might have plenty of room to expand. Davenport (Ia) Democrat and Leader. z
 Respectfully submitted to the dem- ocratic prty, soon to assemble in na- tional convention at San Francisco as their platform:
 We, the democrats, in convention assembled, fearing that our end is near and realizing that we have noth- ing to stand on except broken prom ises, nothing to hold on to except our imagination, do hereby declare that for once in our lives we will speak up and tell just exactly what it is that we really do want.
 We admit that, for one thing, we are in favor of wasting all the money that can be extracted from the people of these United States of America, and we point with pride to our great pres ident whose administration has been conspicuous to the world as a period of wanton extravaganza. Remember his glorious trip to Paris, if you please, and the gorgeous ship we paid for and the people who accompanied him at our expense. And remember all the columns and columns sent over to our newspapers describing his en- tertainment by the crowned heads of E.,Yrnpa af a fiv,oo ,r,bo,, tho oahla, ,,,<~.