The Coconino sun., 1920-12-17

of his back in Illinois hired a Swede to collect some outstanding accounts for him. The first night the Swede reported:
 "Dat faller, Jonson, he say he pay when he sell his wheat. Vim Yack son he say he ban goin' pay when he sell his wheat, too. knute Knutsen he ban goin' pay in Yanuary."
 "Get out" the merchant said. "Knutsen never will pay that bill. Did he say he would pay in January?"
 "Well, he say it be damn col day when he pay, an tink dat be Yan- uary."
 F. J. Cunningham, manager of the Western Union office, tells of Irving S. Cobb, the humorist and author, that when he was featuring during the war describing personal experiences and observations with the allied armies, he arranged, while in California, for Chas. VanLoan, also we'll known as a writer and humorist, to help him make some of his lectures more dramatic.
 The plan was: At a certain point in Cobb's lecture, where he stopped to let his audience ask him questions, af- ter a few were asked VanLoan was to ask: Do you intend to return to the front 2" Cobb diligently rehears- ed a sublimely eloquent and dramatic reply to the query. VanLoan was to spring it at a signal from Cobb.
 At San Diego, Cobb made fine i'm pression. Van Loan was seated in the middle of the auditorium. Finally the time came for the latter to do his bit. Cobb gave the signal. VanLoan jump ed up and shouted:
 "Where do we go from here?"
 Which incident recalled to Walter s. Lindblom the experience of a friend of his back in Michigan. The latter was scheduled to make speech at banquet. He thought and wrote it all out, then diligently studied it. The night of the banquet, as soon as he was dressed, he locked himself in his room and, standing before the mir TOT, recited his whole speech, fluently, easily, without having to consult his manuscript even once.
 So he threw the manuscript into a bureau drawer and went to the ban quet hall. When he was introduced to speak, his speech had entirely left his mind. This is what he said
 Gentlemen: About an hour ago, in the solitude of my room, rehearsed my whole speech. God and l only knew what it was. Now God only knows what it is."
 Thereupon Joe P. Wilson dug this up from the inner recesses of his memory:
 A prosecuting attorney was exam ming witness in an important crim- inal case. He asked:
 Are you acquainted with this jury?" "Some of them? Be explicit, please. Do you know more than half of them?"
 "Yes,' replied the witness. q guess l know more than all of them"
 Professor O. H. Richardson, refer ring to the ruling that no live animals other than day-old chicks may be sent parcel post, says that a postmaster wired his divisional chief:
 'I have on hand a rooster. Advise regarding delivery"
 The reply was:
 "We advise delivery. Probably started as g day-old chick"
 E. s. Clark, the Prescott attorney, here last week, told about funny bootlegging case that occurred in Yav- apai county recently.
 Sheriff Warren Davis, of Yavapai, was sitting at a lunch counter in a town in that county. Presently a stranger sitting next to Davis asked him if he wouldn't like a drink. Davis said he didn't care for any, then got to talking with the man.
 Don't you find it hard to get t?" he asked.
 "Oh, no" the stranger replied. Eve got lot of it cached away"
 Davis remarked that he thought it might be dangerous to sell it.
 The stranger laughed at the idea. Perhaps thinking Davis doubted his word, he insisted on his accompanying him to the cache. Davis did. The cache was well stocked. Come on up to Prescott with me-" said Davis.
 "No, l don't believe I will; not this time, anyway"
 You'd better come along" urged Davis. There's mighty good mar ket for booze there. Come on along with me-"
 "No," the man replied. Eve got plenty of customers here; don't need any more, If I should want to come later, I'll look you up. What is your name ?"
 "My name is Davis. Pm the sher- iff."
 The stranger looked at the officer for moment; then doubled up with laughter.
 "Well, I'll be damned he gasped "This is the first time I ever broke in- to jail," and thereafter, while in jail and during his trial, every time he | thought how he had taken the sheriff