davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-09-28
"A FOOL THERE WAS" AND IS.

Inc TOOLS are not all dead vet.
Somehow the crop Of fools never
fails.
Up at Waterloo practical jokers
went out and held up a party OF
friends on the highway taking VAL
tables away from them, When a
reward with no questions asked was
offered they returned the articles
got the reward and spent it in riot
GUS living.
Sometime the practical joker whose
highest form of amusement is to play
ghost or robber will meet the fool
killer or one OF his deputies and
there will be solemn gathering at
the homo with music and perhaps
flowers and other tributes paid to the
departed. Under present circum-
stances OF highway robbery in Iowa
the held up are likely to shoot first
and investigate tho joke afterward.
II the shooting has been done in a
conscientious" and '.wholehearted"
way. as Mr.. Cox would say about
,Burleson. the holder up will not be
likely to join in the merriment.
This hoidup business III the "com-
monwealth of Iowa." as our revered
governor would express it. has gone
beyond joke. Most practical jokes
are tdiotic but the hold UP joke car
ries the banner. Just at present pot
ters fields and pens are yawning
wide to receive highwaymen and
yeggs. To go forth all smiles and
high spirits as the village cut up to
pull Oft 9 jocular stunt OF highway
robbery and be brought back on a
plank just like q real robber takes
the point all out of the joke. 1t is
referred to then as a tragedy" The
new report of course states that
Mr.. Blank is half insane with grief
over having shot the joker but the
joker stays dead for all that. The
insurance company pays off just the
same rs tho he'd run his 1ttnew off
the bridge.
Don't do It Be witty and merry,
but remain wise. Wisdom avoids the
alleged practical joke" And just
at present the robbery joke is not
unlikely to meet q sawed off shotgun
in the middle OF the road.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-09-28
AsoulRm.ss CANDIDATE.

Mr.. Cox Is wiggling. Perhaps
squirming would be a better word.
At Omaha he told middle west
audience that he could not indorse
matters" in the administrations of
Burleson and Palmer. He believed
that these two cabinet officers had
performed their duties whole heart
eddy" and were conscientious" all
right enough but he couldn't "en-
dorse matters"
But he did. The platform upon
which he was nominated did. VIII
son did and does. The platform in
dorsed the whole bag Of tricks, it
took Wilson. administration. acts and
matters" lock stock and barrel. Cox
hastened to Washington and con
ferred" with Wilson and Franklin D.
simply couldn't get over the way
those two gigantic minds ran to-
gether. Burleson is still in the cabi-
net. So is Palmer. And Baker. And
matters" are still "matterating."
Cox started out wet. Everybody
that knows anything about him
knows that he is wet and that his
governorship Of Ohio was gained and
kept by q solid wet support. When
DO got into a western dry state he
Jack knitted on that. He was Wilson
from head to toe when he went to
Washington to see the dictator. The
Wilson administration was his
fetch. Out in the midtle west he
sQuirms and strives to wiggle out
from under one corner Of the burden
he so gladly assumed at frisco and
in Washington. He thought then
that he was Atlas supporting the
world. H Is beginning to discover
that he is q scrapegoat carrying the
sins Of eight years maladministra-
ton Of public affairs into the wilder
ness OF defeat.
Mr.. Cox is not great man, not
even q big man. The more he wig
gles and sQuirms the more evident it
becomes that he isn't presidential
timber. He gives the impression of
instability. Even as an opportunist
he does not size up.
Mr.. Cox is roped, hogtied, diamond
hitched to the Wilson administration
with all it means. He can not
angleworm out OF it. Either all signs
and evidences are at fault or he will
be buried beneath a republican land
slide that will remain historical In
elections.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-09-28
CLAUDE poR1ER's UNSAFE VIEWS

Claude Porter is telling the rail-
road men that he was opposed to the
return of the roads to their owners
for operation.
If Porter was opposed to the return
of the roads to the owners he was of
course In favor Of continuing the dis
astrous experiment conducted by the
democrats or in favor OF the Plumb
plan or some similar scheme OF en-
ploye control and operation Of the
railroads. Perhaps he was in favor
of naturalization Of the railroads
with it's attendant outlook toward
naturalization Of the other basic in
dustries inclusive OF farming. II Mr..
Porter favored either or any Of
those plans" then he favors them
now; for 1t Is incredible that he
would have changed hts entire con-
Fyictions 50 suddenly.
In either case Mr.. Porter would be
y.
ate.
Some Of Mr.. Porters friends say
that Mr.. Porter does not favor
naturalization or the control and
management and operation OF the
roads by employees. But If Mr..
Porter is ''stringing' the railroad
men for their votes he deserves TO
lose the vote Of every sincere voter.
1t is fair to take Mr.. Porter at
his own word and to concede tina. he
would have continued the debacle OF
waste and inefhciency In transporta-
ton which cost billions and failed to
give service; that left farmers feed
ing high priced corn for weeks at
heavy loss to hogs and cattle long
ready for market while they and
commercial bodies endeavoring to
assist them begged and pleaded for
cars; that made the receipt OF any
freight or express q matter OF spec
uiation over weeks and even months
OF watchful waiting. It is fair to
take him at his word It is also fair
to assume that he would go along
with the Plumb plan rather than the
return to private ownership.
The question is. do the farmers
and the shippers and the receivers
In the exchange Of commodities
which must be effected by the use of
the transportation lines want Mr.,
Porter with Mr.. Porter's confessed
convictions in the senate? What can
they expect from him? What do the
government controllers and the
nationalists expect from him?
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-09-28
Ripping Rhymes
By WALT MASON

Is
I'm highway
assan unafradwhch
scoot needless
satin Does work."
gded youth
hoer Oh all the
journey souh they
tnhon aoans labor
banish Does wo?" wall in German
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-09-28
Topics Of the Times
II Burleson Is conscientious" and
"wholehearted" so is an A. ID. T. boy.

II Burleson Is conscientious and
swholehearted" SO Is an A. ID. r. boy.
A rich art dealer has sold his home
and will return to France because Of
prohibition. when the u. S. regains
common sense he says he will re-
turn. In the immortal words OF Pima
fore, "He never will be missed" Nine
out Of ten OF those old soaks take
themselves to seriously. The world
keeps right on whirling around once
day whether they move to France
or just die Of kidney trouble.
Contrasting Mr.. Ford with Mr..
Wood of the wooden trust 1t is easy
to see the reason for Mr.. Ford's
popularity. Fond sometimes does
foolish things but he does SO many
other things wisely and enthusiastically
that folks like Henry Ford in spite Of
themselves.
The wholehearted and conscien-
tious manner in which those auto
mobiles were left to rot is another
little matter that Mr.. Cox might
indorse or refuse to indorse.
-
When the judge rides slowly down
the lane to call on Maud Muller now
adays he will be after her vote in
stead OF a drink Of springwater.
Coolidge says he hasn't bought a
pair Of shoes in two years. Probably
wears the hired mans boots when he
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-09-28

editions of the Dubuque Visitor. the
first newspaper published in what is
now the state OF Iowa. Later this
press was used in a printing office In
wisconsin, then transferred to st.
Paul, Minnesota, where it was used
to print the Minnesota Pioneer. the
first newspaper In that state.
The later history of this pioneer
press is matter OF dispute, Mime
sofa claims that the press. after serv-
ing various newspapers In Minnesota,
was purchased and donated to the
Minnesota Historical Society where
such a press is now on exhibition
BY South Dakota, however, the claim
is made that the historic press was
carried by an OK team to Sioux Falls
in 1858 and served to print the first
Dakota newspaper. According to this
version Of the story the remains OF
the press were later rescued from the
scrap heap In town which had been
burned by the Indians in the out
break Of 1892 aud are now preserved
in a museum at Sioux Falls.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-09-28
HANDY DIRECTORY
-.oF THE
MASONIC TEMPLE
Il Masonic Meetings
J" Visitors Always Welcome.

MARSHALL LODGE NO. 1os, A.
F. A. NJ. Friday, Oct. 1, First
degree, o'clock sharp. G. G. Jen-
nings. W. NJ: John w. Wells, secre-
tary.
sIGNET CHAPTER NO. 3S. ROYAL
Arch degree, Monday. Sept. u, Eso
o'clock. Refreshments served. Frank
T. Nokes, H. Pi; John w. Wells, sec
rotary.
KING SOLOMON COUNCIL NO.
20, stated assembly; Sept. 20. bust
ness session. Election Of master.
John w. Wells. recorder.
coNCLAvE ST. ALDEMAR COM
MANDERY NO. 80, Tuesday. Sept.
2s. 1880 D. m. Order of the Temple.
CLYDE H. Stewart, commander; Jonn
w. Wells, recorder.
CENTRAL CHAPTER NO ST Q.
VI S Regular meeting Wednesday,
CENTRAL CHAPTER NO. Of o.
p s. Regular meeting "Wednesday
Oct. Is, at 1880 o'clock. for business.
Mrs. W. J. Richards, w. NJ; MRS.
Archer Walton. secretary.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-09-28
COMMON SENSE REASONING.

IGl1dden Graphic.1
j. r. Howard. whom Iowa delights
to point out as a product of this
state, and whose ability and sane
thinking has elevated him to the
head Of the American Farm Bureau
Federation, has again proven his fit
ness to lead so great an organization
by q recent argument in favor of tn,
Esch- Cummins railroad bill. Mr.
Howard has come out fatty in favor
Of the bill. which he says will prove
a great benefit to the farmers OF the
country.
In these days Of demogogues and
shallow-minded politicians, such a
stand as that taken by Mr.. Howard is
refreshing. The railroads necessari-
ly were granted increased freight
rates, and therein lies the opportun-
ity of the demogogue and trouble
maker. Jim Pierce. who has been
stirring up trouble continuously for u
good many years, is probably the
best example of that class we have In
Iowa. He Is devoting lot OF space
just now to show what the increased
rates are costing shippers and con-
sumers. and it is an easy matter to
get people stirred up by increased
rates Of any kind
Instead of ranting and raving ana
stirring up class hatred, Mr.. Howard
has taken the time and trouble to
study the Esch- Cummins railroad
bill to sec If it hasn't a deeper Sig
nificance than merely increased rates.
He has convinced himself that the
law was necessary to save the rail-
road system OF the country from a
complete breakdown. Ha realizes
that the farmers have suffered mil
lions OF dollars of loss thru the in
efficiency of government operation of
railroads. and unless the government
had given some aid when the roads
were turned back to their private
owners the breakdown would be so
complete that many farmers would
be completely ruined.
As to the increased rates, why
doesn't Jim Pierce call attention to
the increased cost OF every other
commodity which We all use today.
Why doesn't he quote figures to show
the way the printing which his plant
turns out has increased in price the
past Ave years. He knows the, raise
in freight rates is necessary along
with everything else. but fight
against the railroads or other COR
poration Is popular way to stir up
strife and hatred and prejudice, and
those are the things which give
Pierce his reputed 100000 a year
profit out of his Homestead plant
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-09-28
Tobn Burroughs
F. s. s N aas:<
sa*%s
]. When do crows flock?

l. When do crows flock?
2. How do squirrels tell false nut
rom a good one?
8. How does the growth of a weed
progress during during the months?
Answers to Yesterdays Questions.
/. Do Baltimore and orchard orioles
differ in their habits?
The Baltimore oriole makes free
use of strings in its nest building.
and the songs of different birds Of
this species vary greatly, while the
orchard oriole makes no use OF
strings. so far as have observed,
and its song is always and every
where the same.
2. What makes wolves and foxes
avoid poisoned meat?
Wolves and foxes soon learn to be
afraid Of poisoned meat; just what
gives them the hint it would he hard
to say, as the survivors could not
know the poison's deadly effect from
experience; their fear of 1t probably
comes from seeing their fellows suffer
and die after eating 1t. Also, the
the meat, and this strange smell
would naturally put them on their
guard.
8. What are the similarities and
the differences between fall and
the spring?
Spring is the inspiration, fall the
expiration. Both seasons have theic
equinoxes. both their f1lmy. hazy air,
their rudy forest tints, their cold
rains, their drenching fogs. theic
mystic moons; both have the same
solar light and warmth, the same
rays of the sun; yet, after all, how
different the feelings which they in
spire! One is the morning. the other
the evening, one is youth, the other
Is age.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-09-28
KIRBYE'S WEAK DEFENSE.
TCarrol, Heraid1

Ex-Reverend J. Edward Kirbye, at
present engaged In cleaning out the
state house and other neglected cor
ners in state government. has issued
circular letter in defense OF his own
character. He contends that he is as
chaste as ice, as white as snow and
never wronged the near east commit
tee. as charged by that arch partisan
LATE Young. Then If he did take a
double salary, he was still working
for less than he could have drawn
had he accepted an offer from
another place, At the same kind OF
work. The ex-reverend has hardly
purified the atmosphere in his poorly
written defense.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-09-28
IOWA OPINION AND NOTES.

1.-THE really important thing about
the Ford reduction is not SO much
the possibility that 1t Is the beginning
of the voluntary prive reduction as it
is tho possibility that Ford senses q
change in the attitude of the public
that the riot OF spending is about
over" says the Burlington Hawkeye.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-09-28
Charlie. Collins Of Oak u,u r,to

Charles Collins Of Oak Hill, hitch
field, Maine, thinks so much of a
White Wyandotte rooster that he en-
courages him to roost nights on the
footboard of his bed and feeds him
every little while. This is because
Mr.. Collins was awakened one night
by the excited Growing of the rooster,
which had somehow got into the
house. and found when he got up to
investigate that the house was on
fire. Anything that that rooster
wants hereafter he can have.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-09-28

The married and unmarried women
in Columbia are distinguished by tho
way in which they wear flowers in
their hair. the .sonoras wearing them
on the right side and the senoritas
on the left.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-09-28

The Jewell Republican says
there is only one thing remaining now
to hinder woman from becoming
president OF the United States-the
other women wont vote for her.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-09-28
IoWA's FIRST PRESS.
What Became Of the Pros. Used

What Became Of the Press Used by
the Dubuque Visitor.
Under the title Three Men and a
Press" John c. Parish contributes al,
article to THE Palimpsest' for Aug
ust giving the history of the old
Washington hand press which, in
1885 was brought from Cincinnati Ia
the west bank of the Mississippi river
On this press were printed the early
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-09-28
Ioua Newspapers
SITTING EASY.
Manson Democratic

Moving the big paving machines
into Main street. downtown. makes
1t so much nicer for the ioafers. They
don't have TO walk SO far to watch
the workmen.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-09-28
cards In hay lofts.

cards In hay lofts,
How much better might 1t not be
II the older ones took cognizance Of
the desires Of the young and helped
to follow amusements, including
forms Of dancing, that are at least
"sterilized," instead Of slapping on
prohibitions which do not prohibit,
or If they do simply drive the young
folks to the places where they can
indulge in such pastimes. Intelligence
Is quite as desirable as strictness.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-09-28

"Just what effect the big cut will
have on other makers Of automotive
equipment or industries in general
remains to be seen. Mr.. Ford declares
it is time to take fall out of high
prices, and this opinion we cordially
approve" says the Waterloo courier.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-09-28
REPUBLICAN, MARsHAILTowN IOWA SEPTEMBER IS 1920

goes moving up IN Yarmouth and
NJ Hampsheah.
About all that Candidate Cox does
Is to prattle.
An eastern golf club Is to make
a special effort to educate" caddies.
1t can't DO done. AS soon as he gets
wise he ceases to, boa caddie and in
sists on being a mere companion.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-09-28

The war took a toll of $3.50 mem.
bers OF the British aristocracy.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-09-28

The modern kingdom of Saxony
has no connection with the ancient
tribe who settled England. Its in
habitants are not SaXong.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-09-28

Twenty thousand priests serve In
the temples Of Bangkok. Siam.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-09-28

when two men become enemies
because OF politics the underlying
cause, II 1t is diligently searched for,
will be found to be the Illustration OF
selfish ambition or an evident
alignment that works real evil to
both the individual and society,"" says
the Tama Herald. ut Is very rare. In
deed, that personal antipathies are
based on political disagreements."
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-09-28

"A snail when placed on an inclined
plane will crawl to the highest point.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-09-28

Anyhow. the women will not go
to the polls with cigarette between
their teeth and a pint bottle in their
hip pockets" says the Webster CHy
Freeman Journal.
Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1920-09-28

Coolidge says he hasn't bought a
pair Of shoes in two years. Probably
wears the hired mans boots when he
Newark post., 1920-01-28
No Need For Alarm On
Account Of "Flu"
Says Surgeon General

The War Department through
the Army Recruiting Officers, has
started school contest throughout
the United States for the best es-
say on the subject "What are the
benefits of an enlistment in the U.
S. Army
Surgeon-General Rupert Blue of
the U. S. Public Health Service OH
Saturday advised the country not
to become alarmed at the prevail
ence of influenza. Nowhere, he
said, is there any indication that
the disease is beyond the ability of
the local authorities to combat it
successfully. While reports from
some of the cities indicate a large
number of cases yet opinion is di-
vided as to the character of the
disease, many doctors declaring it
to be nothing more than grip or
Newark post., 1920-01-28
Bachelors Entertain At Cards

Coach Shipley, Professors Thone
and Kirkbride entertained at cards
in the Faculty Club room on We'd
nesday evening last. The guests
were: Mr.. and Mrs. J. Linton
Coyle, Mr.. and Mrs. Harold n.
Cummings, Mr.. and Mrs. Kelly,
Mr.. and Mrs. Hogan, Mr.. and Mrs.
A. G. Wilkinson. The Misses Hall,
Mathews and Whittingham. DR..
Partridge substituted for Mr.. A.
G. Wilkinson who was confined IN
the house with a bad cold. The
party took the form of progressive
five hundred, being one OF the series
that is played each week by the
club as represented above.
Much credit is due to the manner
in which the bachelor members en-
tertained. The ladies prize was
awarded to Mrs. J. Linton Coyle
the gentlemen s prize to Mr.. Harolc
Cummings and the BOBBY prize tC
Mr.. Kelly.
Newark post., 1920-01-28
SLIPPERY STREETS
KEEP MANY INDOORS
Continued from Page y

\
destinations. Some OF those on the
outskirts of the town and beyond |
the town limits came on sleds hook
ed on behind an accommodating
sleigh or machine. Some thought
full patrons of the public schools
who brought their children in
sleighs or machines conveyed the
teachers also.
Conditions were fine for coasting
and were especially conducive to
speed. Even on Sunday many
Youngsters took advantage of the
conditions and made the most Of
the opportunity. A sheet Of clear
ice on the lawn at "The Knoll
tempted many a reckless coaster to
risk the chance Of shooting in front
of an automobile on Depot Road,
counting it worth the risk to speed
across the, road, steer skllfully
through a narrow 'pasS y and into
the field beyound.
Mclaughlin S Hill was favOrlte
coasting ground on Monday night
and some of the boys and girls of
"larger growth" enjoyed the
speedy descent which frequently
was accomplished at the dizzy rate
of 80 to 40 miles an hour. The as
cent though not so speedy. was
borne chcerfully if the right com
bination shared the burden and the
ioy of the descent was in contem-
plation. This hill and that at No
nantum heights were alive with
coasters Oh Monday night when a
bit of moon lent just enough light
for the steers.
Automobiling was a perllous un
dertaking and many a stald ole
"Lizzie" took a dizzy whirl on thu
CLASSY roadway. Her sedan slste1
"Lisette cut many an unladyllke
giddy caper when obliged to pas
another vehicle on the road, ant
pedestrians gave both wide berth
for too often the chains failed t
hold and while many had the pre-
verbal confidence in the harmless
ness of "Lizzie' under ordinar
circumstances, they felt that thes
were not ordinary circumstance
and there was no telling what tn
n cold Girl" would do. Yesterday
t thaw turned many a stronger ej ac'
e lation into disguised, 80
: Slush !" when machines keepin
y strictly to the beaten path cast
t. derisive lump of slush at you il
Is stead of firtatiously skidding ov
,e to your side of the road.
Newark post., 1920-01-28

Of all classes of Republicans will
be formed throughout the State.
In this way every individual will
be reached and no one will have
the opportunity to say that he or
she did not have a chance to con-
tribute.
A suggestion that a distinctive
button be worn by each contribu-
tor to show that he is part of the
GO. P. organization will be taken
up with National Chairman Hays.
All contributions will be forwarded
to Mr.. Scott and Col. Mitchell and
transferred by them to the Nation
al Committee. The plans were
fully discussed and details will be
worked out so that collections may
begin in March.
Miss Leah Burton of Lewes, has
been appointed by Mrs. John F
Pratt, Of the National Republican
Woman's Bureau to do campaign
work for the Bureau in Delaware
Chairman Scott announced thai
it is hoped to have National Chair
man Hays address a mass meeting
in Wilmington soon.
Newark post., 1920-01-28
FARMING IMPLEMENTS

Deering binder, 7 foot c..
Deering mower, 2 New Idea Ma
mlre spreaders; Ontario drill, Is
spouts; Case corn planter, horse
rake, clod crusher, one S-tooth drill.
2 Oliver selkey plows, hay loader.
hay tedder, new Holland gasoline
engine, fodder shredder, two suIhy
cultivators, two spring-t0oth har-
rows, spike harrow, single disc har-
row, two hand cultivatOrs, 2 pI0ws,
Corn sheller, fan, grind stone, weed
er, Wheelbarrow farm wagon, new,
low-down wagon, hay fiat, market
wagon, two spindle wagons, track
sulky, sleigh, top buggy, spindle
wagon, new; large wise, portable
| forge, grain craddle, lot Of car.
! penter and blacksmith tools, forks
rakes, shovels. and hoes.