The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1920-05-17

gan a conversation with, II am
Maria Jones Smith Brown. Have
YOU read my book7" As rule l
hadn't. and kept wondering why IL
was that most authors have four
names, but later we exchanged
books with each other and had
delightful time, though the music
played continuously and my head
buzzed.
Washington is always holding
congresses and conventions, and
these are sometimes combined with
bsnquets and plays. Tho medical
convention at the New willard was
one of these. The doctors gave
play one year, much on the order
OF the Grldiron club. A novel di-
version was arranged, ] heard,
though I can't youch for the story.
The stage varied-colorcd ana
honey-combed affair was supposed
To represent the stomach OF "A mem
Der OF the fraternity. When the
-ourtain went up, Gastric Juice as
host, dressed in green. welcomed
first OF all several lively characters
representing cocktails, who slid
down a ladder one after the other
making some snappy remarks while
they danced about TO gay music.
kicking up q bit OF "A disturbance.
They were followed by a slippery
and gliding fellow. impersonatinG
Soup: then Mr.. Fish appeared. and
after him portly old Roast Beef,
who nearly broke the ladder as he
came down heavily. one rung at
time.
Thereupon entered n few frisliy
bottles OF Champagne. and soon
after the arrival of curry green
Salad. ill-feeling set in: disagree
ments were impending. and trouble
was already under way by the Il ne
that Pink 1ce-Cream, accompanied
by n whole circle of little Frosted
Cakes, tried to take possession. The
other guests Immediately combined
against the newcomers, and the al
tercation became a fight. Gastric
Juice. already worn out with trying
to reconcile his obstreperous COM
pany. revoltcd. and To riotous mu-
sic drove all the viands in rapid
succession up the ladder and out as
they had come. and fell fiat upon
the floor as the curtain came down
amid cheers from the audience.
n several parlors during the con-
vention something much mere seri-
Gus was going on, and you could
learn about a new ailment in each.
In the first a doctor was describ'
ing with the aid Of lantern slides.
the brain in different conditions;
but it was pitch darw and the slides
looked exactly alike toto me, so we
did not stay long.
Many "DelightfuI Topers."
Passing through to another room
we found someone holding forth on
consumption. and sat down at last
in a third, where the subject was
cancer. l wish I could remember
the long, unpronounceable names
they used. AS to cancer-at the end
of the discussion they seemed still
at sea in regard both to its cause
and it's cure.
woman's patriotic society was
also holding congress that spring
in hotel headquarters, and they had
a terrific battle. because either by
intention or mistake the name of a
candidate had been left eff the bal
lot. After the morning meeting one
of the women--smell, fat. and en-
ergitic, with the dignity of a drum
major-founced about followed by
troop Of supporters. tapping the
ladies energetHally with her fan
and ordering them about. II am
Mrs. Dash of Dashville," she an
nounced; Il own all the newspapers
in my home town and most of the
real estate. I put Congressman
Blank in Congress" Later, when
the convention was proceeding
more to her taste, she quieted down
and became quite calm and happy.
Vice President Fairbanks enjoyed
telling the story of Mrs. Fairbanks
in the chair at one of these con-
ventions. He trained her in parlia-
mentary tactics for several weeks.
One thing he stressed was the i'm
portance. in announcing the result
of "A veto, to say, The ayes seem to
have it," and await a challenge be-
fore sealing the verdict. Then. If
no one asked for a roll-cIIl or show
of hands, to follow with the GUS
tomary announcement. The ayes
have it," When Mrs. Fairbanks was
confronted with a decision. he said
she always put the cart before the
horse by announcing. THE ayes
have it," ana then, after a pause,
modifying il by the precautionary
announcement. THE ayes seem TO
have it,"
| also had the pleasure of being
present at a meeting Of another so
ciety of that type. In this one
Southern ladies predominated. and
they were all more ladylike than
businesslike. The president,
charming woman. kept peace and
order and controlled her temper
which at time must have been diff