The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1920-10-09
WOMAN PRESIDENTS
INAUGURAL PARADE

SCENE IN WASHINGTON WHEN
" MAN RELATIONSHIPS BIRTH. .
| RIGHT TO WHITE HOUSE.
Shades OF Belva Lockwood!-w
may wake up on the morning afte1
the presidential election in 1924 Of
1928 to find that a woman has beer
elected president of these states!
More thrilling still, we may all be
lined up on Pennsylvania avenue ir
washington at noon on March 4, 1922
or 1929, to see woman in touring ca,
on her way to take the OATH of office
not only as the first lady of this land
but of any land!
There will be an inaugural parade
which will record something new in
political styles under the sun. writes
benjamin de Casseres in the New
York Times.
1t will record the triumph of the
bonbon over the cheroot.
1t will mark the triumph of intuition
over the derby.
~ WAL NOAAAAAO111Ol CCS LuC tIluuDl
OF the soprano over the baritone.
On that day the high heel and the
V neck shall have conquered the low
brow and the roughneck.
1t will be the millinery millennium
and the annus magnus of buds.
Let mere man-whO has been every.
thing in his time from the first lord
OF creation to the last of the Mohi-
cans-visualize that unique inaugural
procession between the capitol and
the White House.
Will Be World Event.
1t will be a woman's parade: of
course. At this Waterloo of pants
place aux femmes! We men may be
permitted to look on from behind the
show windows of candy shops and ice
cream bars.
At most, we may hope for reserva,
lions on the stands and at the win
-doWs~ of masculine relatives and hus,
bands of the freaker sex.
When this highly probable pageant
takes place we can wager it will be a
world event. And why not? Will it
not be the visible triumph of Eve over
Adams pay envelope?
Fanfare down the avenue from the
woman's mounted police division of
the metropolitan lady police of the
District of Columbia. Not the regula-
ton call of 1--WE can't get 'em up!
We can't get 'em up!" but Hail!
Hail! the bangs all here! What the
II I,
do we care!"
Then the grand battalion of debt
known officially as the charge-accOunt
division.
The heroines of thousand and one
soap boxes will follow, fianked by the
old guard Of hunger strikers, carrying
banners, eve starve, but never sur
render!"
Then the lady of the hour, the first
woman ever sentenced by popular
vote to say Il veto.'
By her side is seated the last mas.
culine president of the great republic
a poor repealed law, shrunken to a
query, cowed, canned and corked, for
"home consumption only
From his seat he waves wan fare
well to his own sex stalled behind the
avenues soda fountains.
The rest of the parade is fairly easy
to imagine. Every country will be
represented, including Hollywood
Cal.
Lady Astor to Get Revenge.
.Soubrettes from the kraals of South
Africa and midinettes from Paris will
march side by side with Amazons
from Monte Carlo and feminine Pen
roses from Tunis.
Fat cannibal ingenues from darkest
Africa will walk hand in hand with
wispy movie queens from the Shet
land islands.
The vast line will be closed up with
the United and Invincible Order OF
F1apjack Swimmers from the Cafes
des Enfants.
Lady Astor will circle above the
city in a giant Caproni, out of which
at precisely 70 noon Horatio Bottom
ley, tied hand and foot, will be com
PEELED to do a parachute.
Barring few fantastic details, the
above is the likeliest event in this
country in the near future. With the
voting power in the hands of any
where from 100000 to 100000
women of voting age, what is more
probable than the formation of {
woman's national party with a candi
date for president Of their own in the
field? ~-
Conceding that all but few million
voters will vote for their own candi
date and that millions Of us men viii
be compelled to vote for her with th'
threat of losing our home brewet
meals and other things if we don't
we shall surely see the election Of !;
woman president in our life time
barring motor car and burglar acci
dents. - H.