The Washington herald., 1920-07-01
New York City.
By o. o. Mcintyre

New York, June 3o.-There is .
quaint charm about those sprightly
young cherubs Of Fifth avenue.
whose papas have nothing but mon
ey. They are little too old Tor
Penrods and yet too freshly weaned
for dangerous deviltry. 1t is that
age when they look pityingly upon
girls Of the same age. What they
want are Women Who Have Lived!
They carefully wax the sprinkling
Of fuzz on the upper lip to disguise
II as q mustaehe., They invariably
tap the end of their cigarettes on
their wrist watches before lighting
and they swallow smoke in a fear
some way even IL IL does make their
head spin.
stagger out of cafes at midnight
with two glasses OF beer and deii-
rum tremens. Now they carry en-
graved and very thick silver TASKS
curved to At the hip. Between acts
they go to the smoking rooms and
take a long swig as though II was
the only way to brace up their
ruined lives. Generally the flask
contains coffee or colored water.
They back up their Twin Twelves
at the girl and, music show stage
doors before midnight only to get
engaging motherly smiles while the
sirens step into cars manned by
fat, wheezy old codgers with bulg-
ing necks and purses. Head-waiters
are presented with engraved cards
along with ten dollar bills and the
! real thrill comes when the msitre
d'hotel calls them by name.
The agonizing moments OF their
lives are lived when they walk to
church on Sunday with mama and
pass some lady Of the ensemble in
one Of those stunty roadsters hit
ting II for the white sands Of Long
Beach. IT is then that they lose
comes Hard,
Quoting Omar. calling papa The
Governor" referring to Charles
Dillingham; as Chuck" and Zieg-
field as Flo" are just a few of the
| minor Characterization. But they
are fine healthy lads-and most OF
us would have been just like them
| in that period of adolescence had
we lived in New York instead Of
Plattsburg, Gallipolis. etc.
Madison Square Garden has just
finished a s5,000.0 900 clothing sale
put on by an enterprislng young
clothier. 1t was the same old ap-
peal OF selling direct to the public
without a penny OF prolific turn
stock into cash" And the crowds
fell for II in droves. The police
had to get out the reserves several
times TO keep the entrance clear.
A few burning words elected
from the corner OF the mouth of
red-faced cop have more influence
on most lives than the casual pc
destrian would imagine. Speaking
for myself II has caused me to give
up learning to drive a car. And
there Is no telling to what end one
may COME learning to drive a car
This particular officer stood at
Broadway and Twenty-third street.
1t seems that the difficulty arose
when l refused to stop when he
held up his hand. 1t was not be-
cause ] didn't want to stop. In fact
] prayed to stop. But I couldn't.
Even addressing him as Captain"
failed. And never knew before
how quickly a crowd could collect
and what large ears they all have.
My own ears did not seem particu-
larly large but 1 know they were
red.
The murder of Joseph b. Elwell.
the eiubman. horseman and man
about-town. took place in a pr1vat-
house just a few short blocks from
where j live. Curiosity attracted
me there. The most conspicuous
thing was the number of amateur
detectives. One reads about them
In fiction but never dreams they
exist. Smart looking fellows, too,
and well dressed. Most of them
graduates OF correspondence schools
OF detectives and really believing
that they are going to find the mur-
derer. There was something pa
thetic about IL. too. Many quit
work to scour the highways for ad-
venture in the hope OF becoming
another Cleek or Sherlock Holmes.