davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-01-20
Foolish Court Sentence.

One Of the most frankly foolish and
impossible sentences on record was
that imposed upon a child murderer in
Germany, who was tried at Griefswald
In 1906. He was sentenced to be be-
headed twice. then to receive two
years Imprisonment, and finally to
suffer the loss of all his political rights.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-01-20
co,fcHEp NIGHT AND nay

John vognue, Elerton, Ca, writes:
Last fall. when my neighbors were
down with In the Influenza, 1 took a
severe cold and before / was aware of
my condition I was down sick In bed.
throat was raw and sore I got a bot
tie of Foley's Honey and Tar Com
pound and took eight small doses In
two hours. My condition began to i'm
prove and in a few days l vas as we'll
as ever. In my opinion Foley's Is the
best cough medicine made" Sold by
Barnekov & Petz.-Adv.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-01-20
ronk our DREADruL soRENEss

When the kidneys are weakened or
overworked so that they fail to filter
blood, the poison remains in the sys-
tenn and backache, soreness lameness
and rheumatic pains are likely to de-
velop. Mrs. David Henry. IS S. Lincoln
Kidney Pills are doing me much good,
both my kidneys and the rheumatism.
The took all the dreadful soreness
out of my limbs. Sold by Barnekov &
Petz.-Adv.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-01-20
Don't Choose the Easy Tasks.

1t is well for young people to choose
the life work which accords with their
tastes and qualifications, but lever
make the mistake of supposing that
any work will be altogether pleasant.
There is no occupation without some
drudgery. There is no success without
sacrifice. You will never do anything
of consequence without doing some
thing you do not like.-Grit.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-01-20
Telepho ne 400

AVE a year of more or less stress.
They should be careful to avoid ac-
eidents. There is a happy augury for
domestic happiness.
Children BORN on this day may be
erratic and individual to a marked
degree. These subjects of Aquarius
are often gifted and talented.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-01-20
China'S Alphabet.

An alphabet of ~thirty-nine letters, in
stead of thousands of characters, has
been invented for the Chinese lam
guage.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-01-20
The Horrors OF YndyiI

There is an act on the Keith circuit
IN which a character sings a song
about Vampires. and during the song
girls made up to represent Famous
Vampires" appear on the stage. The
LIST includes "Sa1ome," Helen Of
Troy" "C'yeopatria," Madame du
Barry" 'Carmen'-and who else?
Who do you imagine is included in the
list of Famous Vampires?" Why,
nobody but "Desdemona."
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-01-20

the q. s. and F. R. R. near Unadilla,
Ga, married Blue Sisters. And they
are all white.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-01-20
Names Is Name


A.. Orangetree runs a rooming
house in Havana, Cuba.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-01-20

If One Half the World Knew How
the Other Half Lived There would
Be More Divorces.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-01-20
Well, There's Room FOr One More
Manual

{Ad. In Knoxville Journal and Tri-
bune.)
notice. will no longer be re-
sponsible for any debts made by my
wife. Mrs. Eta Durham Martin Romi-
mes Brewer. A. v. Brewer.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-01-20
A WALL EYED Preyaricator.
Game

The timid deer should be a pet,
To kill him is a shame;
isn't brave at all. and yet,
We know that he dies game.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-01-20

Quirer.
Jars and Jugs.
Homes VIII be peaceful as the stars,
So say the Prohibition bugs;
They q aim that all the family Jars
Originated in the jugs.
Ho, Hunt
roc bad that the Supreme Court did
not also decide that beer containing
one-half of l per cent Of alcohol is IL
legal. If any OF the learned Justices
tasted the stuff they would admit that
near-beer Is a crime.
Plain.
IT am one of the plain peoplei" an
nounced the big-nosed, big-mouthed'
big-eared, pop-eyed Candidate as he
opened his address.
with the accent on the adjectivei'
interrupted a man In the audience.
Advice.
Some good advice we'll give to you
AS to your wordsly goal you climb;
Give the old Devil all his due,
But do not pay him overtime.
A WalI-Eycd Prevaricator.
Smith Is married. isn't hep" asked
Jones.
"Yes," replied Brown. "why?"
4NpNi i5 IA oAS OiA3 ACS
an awful liar"
Flows that?' asker Brown.
II heard h m say today that he did
lot know the meaning of the word
fear" replied Jones.
Game.
The timid deer should be a pet,
To kill him is a shame;
He isn't brave at all, and yet,
We know that he dies anne.
Echoes Of the Past.
Les Have a Drink"
Have One On Me-"
zone More Won't Hurt Ya!"
Jaw. Take One More An Then
Well Col"
Might as Well Be Drunk as This
way!"
NO More, Boys! It's Twelve
Ouch!
at says here that Billionbucks, the
%financier, was raised on a farm" re-
marked the Old Fogy as he looked up
from the newspaper he was reading.
HUH" grunted the Crouch. $50
that's where he learned to water
stock!"
Good Dope.
Don't let misfortune make you gray,
To worry dc not stop;
The world turns owe ono a day,
And you'll soon be on top.
Well, There's Room For One More
Name!
CAD. In Knoxville Journal and Tri-
bune.)
notice. will no longer be re-
sponsible for any debts made by my
wife, Mrs. Eta Durham Martin Romi-
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-01-20

Firms Is Firms.
1t is nice to see the old man take
one Of his boys into business with
him. Anyway. Popp & Son have a
grocery in Portland, Ore.
This Should Be Read.
Green and Brown, both agents of
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-01-20
LErrERs FOR PUBLICATION
or BY-PLAY
Jars and jugs.
BY LUKE MeLUKE

Copyright, 1919, the Cincinnati In.
Quirer.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-01-20

I saw a nurse girl nurse a boy,
I saw a sad-iron giving joy.
And once amid the Movies whirl,
I saw a cowboy COW a girl!
Cleveland Plain Dealer
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-01-20
Amt This Crazy?

One day. a long, long time ago,
I saw a sight that caused me woe;
1 saw a sight that made me sad
I saw a cutlass cut a lad.
Luke McLuke.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-01-20
Echoes of the Past.


ut says here that Bflionbucks, the
~ffnancier, was raised on a farm re-
marked the Old Fogy as he looked up
from the newspaper he was reading.
"Huh!" grunted the Crouch. $50
that's where he learned to water
Stocki"
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-01-20

Quite awful is this little verse,
But We have heard some that are
worse;
In fact this n Is worse a heap
1 saw the herdsanen herd some sheep.
Newark tOhio) Advocate.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-01-20
Gnnd Done

Don't let misfortune make you gray,
To worry do not stop;
The world turns over once a day,
And you'll soon be on top.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-01-20
Advice.

Some good advice we'll give to you
AS to your wordsly goal you climb;
Give the old Devil all his due.
But do not pay him overtime.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-01-20

II am n of the plain peoplei" an
nounced the ~big-nosed, big-mouthed
big-eared, pop-eyed Candidate as he
opened his address.
with the accent on the adjective!"
interrupted a man in the audience.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-01-20

Jars and Jugs.
Homes will be peaceful as the stars.
So say the Prohibition bugs;
They aim that all the family jars
Originated in the jugs.
Perth Amboy evening news., 1920-01-20

Ho, Hunt
Too bad that the Supreme Court did
not also decide that beer containing
one-half of l per cent OF alcohol is IL
legal. If any OF the learned Justices
tasted the stun they would admit that
near=beer Is q crime.
Omaha daily bee., 1920-03-14

Madame Owl began to fluff out her
feathers again, and Moonbeam saw
the thing that looked like a tree
stump become once more her feath-
cred hostess.
- The birds sides iluttered. as the
feathers spread out thicllly around
its body. and then. when she raised
herself from the squatting position.
two sharp, ugly, claws came into
view. Rcseating herself on the
branch Madame Owl shook her
plumage energetically and ex-
claimed:
Father Owl | am very hun
CRY. Please select me a tender
mouse from the platter."'
Cant ] serve you Beetle, too.
There isn't ANYTHING tastier than a
Mr. Owl. }
mo, Just a mCusc now, please Fa-
ther," Then Sh9 urned quickly to
MoQnbeam, who 50; back batting her
eyelids, and rubbing = her eyes to
make sure she was not dreaming. !.
Things we're coming much too last
for her to unravel.
" was just playing dead, Moon
beam. when | turned suddenly into
that old tree stump said Mrs. Owl.
This is a trick we play on our enc
mics.
whenever we hear or see dan-
gerous-lQeking person or animal
lurking about we quickly pull in our
feathers. stick up our ear-tufts. un-
til we look exactly like the tree we
happen'to be resting on. Then. you
see, they cannot possibly find us.
This playing dead is the most sa-
cred OF all owl secrets, so you must
never tell l saw you looking un-
der the table for me. 1t was awfully
hard then to keep from laughing.
Il really thought you had dropped
some place out Of sight, replied
NMoonbeam very graciously, until !
saw your yellow eyes blinking. |
guess you must have forgotten to
close them, did you not!"
"Oh, no. | wished to see what ef-
feet my act would have on you. You
see ! was just fooling then. but
when doing the act in real lie !
Omaha daily bee., 1920-03-14

streaming vines. He seemed to
dance in iuidair so gayly did be
swing froin branch to branch.
Then in fash Peggy knew where
she had seen the place before-it
was the Jungle shown in the picture
in her geography.
But that jungle was in South
America, This surely can't be it,"
CRIED Peggy, and she was surprised
to hear her own squeaky monkey
voice.
1T is, though" chattered Rollo,
swinging back to her side. One
slap of>the Dream Stick has brought
you thousands and thousands of
miles"
"Hurrahl Isn't this iunW shrieked
Billy. now turned into a very active
monkey. Away he went, swinging
from branch to branch, just as Rollo
had done.
"Hurrah! Isn't, this fun" and
away went all the 70 pupils, swinging
along with Billy.
"Come on" said Rollo to Peggy,
Omaha daily bee., 1920-03-14

squeaky, jerky voice beside her
pitched away up in T.
1t was Mr.. Owls voice, Moon-
beam was certain. even though she
had not heard It before.
| you don't close your mouth !
am going to Jump down it--that Is
just what the voice said. Up until
then poor little Moonbeam did not
know her mouth was open; SO at
the words she snapped it shut
quickly and peered over her shoul-
der.
There sat Mt. Owl staring at her,
and grinning from ear to ear. He
grinned so broadly that she thought
to herself, We'll, if he grins, one
whiskcr breadth more, he will split
his face open."
She gave him one~long. impudent
look. then turned and watched, the
image, with the pair of shiny, yell
low eyes.
Slowly and quietly it took life as
Omaha daily bee., 1920-03-14

and he seemed fairly to fly up
among the tree tops,
How do you go so fast?" painted
Peggy. hurrying after him,
Use your tail. It's fifth hand
swered Rollo.
Peggy didn't know she had tail.
And when she found she had one
she didn't know what to do with It.
Just then. however, one of the pu-
pills. trying to make flying leap
Hike Rollo, bumped into her and
knocked her off the high branch
upon which she was sitting Down
went Peggy, head foremost, toward
the earth below. Then of sudden
she felt herself caught, and there
she was, swaying comfortably back
and forth, hanging from a heavy
vine. To be sure, she was upside
down. but she didn't seem to mind
that in the least.
"Thank you for catching me-" she
cried out, thinking some one had
rescued her. But no one was near,
She was hanging there all by herself.
And a second look showed her
what she was hanging by--it was
by her own tail. 1t had caught the
vine and held on to it all by itself.
Then she understood what Rollo
meant whsn-nc said: Use your
own tail" Peggy did use it, and
she found that 1t was indeed a fifth
hand, and even better than d hand,
for she could swing farther with it
than with her monkey arms.
"Childrenl Children! Come back
here and get your lessonsl" cried a
voice, and there was Smiling
Teacher, who, even though she was
turned into monkey, was trying
to get her pupils back.
"We-ec-ek We-ee-ek! 4I'm
teacher now, Everybody come to
school to mel" shrieked. Rollo.
Come here and I'll show you
what these trees are" said Smiling
Teacher.
Come here and III show you how
to race through the trees hanging
by your tails" replied. Roll6, swing
ing away as, ii he had wings.
"Hurrah! Show u.s.! 1chattered
all the pupils. and they chased after
Rollo. Even Peggy and Billy join
ed the class. and soon Smiling
Teacher followed after.
Rollo. proved good teacher, and
soon an the monkeys could travel
along among the tree tops faster
than they had ever run on the
ground.
"Now, we will go looking for my
old home, shrieked ,Rollo.
But at that instant there came a
great clamor close by, the trees shiv-
cred and<shook, and dozens upon
dozens of wild monkeys, came
swarmirg down upon them. -
Omaha daily bee., 1920-03-14

close my eyes tight Dear me, |
never realized | was so hungry"
AlH Mrs. Owl begau her supper,
bo'tfng her food into her mouth,
head FIRST, and then bowing her head
and shaking it just as hard as she
could She elected her food in the
same way Mr.. Owl had done, but
few minutes before.
Moonbeam gasped and closed her
eyes. A second performance of SIGH
n1cou,fi table manners she could not
endure
'f Madame Owl instantly grasped the
meaning OF the look Of pain on the
face OF her little guest.
She was iull of apologies aud ex-
planned all IN the most humble way,
You see, Moonbeam, we Owls
understand tho science of digestion
well, and when we swallow bones,
fur. and such things, we would not
think of allowing our stomachs to
grind them up. Our digestive ap-
paratus simply says, No,
'Hndeed ] think the children oil
earth, who swallow their food in a
hurry-cherry stones, grape skins,
apple cores, and many other like
things, need similar merciful di-
gestive organ. 1t would save them
many stomachache and sleepless
night
"But sl,--- Father Owl, | hear
Bat"
And in a minute Mr.. and Mrs.
Owl were peering out into the dark
ness, and the next thing Moonbeam
saw. was Mr.. Owl flying off after a
small dark object.
Moonbeam's chance OF escape had
arrived She excused herself to
Madame Owl and joined hurriedly
In the search after the Bat,
Omaha daily bee., 1920-03-14
Mime Owl Is an Actress But
Moonbeam Leaves In
Great Disgust


Madame Owl had two very strik-
ing characteristics. First, she was
a talkeh and secondly, she was an
actress.
Moonbeam had never met anyone
In her whole ifc, who could talk as
fast and as long without stopping,
as Madame Owl.
Tonight, she seemed particularly
talkativc, and her guest Neigned
great interest a. she listened in
tently to every word.
The truth OF the matter was, how,
ever, Moonbeam was bored, Bored
with both Mr.. and Mrs. Owl, With
Mrs, -0wls talking, and with Mr..
Owls very had manners.
h At most unexpected moment,
Mrs. Owl ceased speaking and quick
as a flash, without a word Of en-
PLANTATION, she suddenly drew in her
fluffy mottled plunage. She drew
It in so close, that It changed her
shape and size instantly,
This seemed not to be feathered
person who stood before curious
Miss Moonbeam, but the stump Of
an old tree.
For a minute Moonbeam thought
Madame Owl had quietly dropped
from sight then, she caught the
sparkle Of pair OF yellow, CLASSY
eyes.
Her own eyes grew larger and
larger, and her mouth npened wider
and wider, as she started AZ Mrs.
Owl, now standing before her, the
very image of the stump of All old,
old tree.
IF you don't close your mouth,
I am going to jump down it," said
Omaha daily bee., 1920-03-14
charming brock, lingering there 70

charming brock, lingering there for
hours. (Me)
TO- We reached the station in
time to see the car melting from
view in the distance, (Me.) u
II. Spotted dear in great num-
bers grazed in the woods, for the
hunting season was closed. (Me.)
II. The accommodations will do
very we'll for a few days, but not
longer, lWe.)
IS. At the first meal they gave
us choice Of roast pig or ham, (Me,)
IA. Ten hours work at the steam
anvil, let me tell you, is no childs
play. lR. ~
IS. Grim war rendered the coun-
try unsafe for women and children,
'(R. ~
16 He must have the cash to-
night or out we 60. OR, ~
II, We would BE- the last to rise,
though first at table. (Ct)
IS, He will see Caleb anon, il
not sooner. (Ct)
l9. With neither friends nor folk
he was a lonely soul. tCt,)
20. Will you have lady fingers or
angel cake with your tea (Ct.)
Omaha daily bee., 1920-03-14

when we were going to visit the
Riverview park. We were delight
cd to hear this. People said that
they had bears that ate peanuts out
Of our hands. But we didn't have
time to buy any peanuts, SOY went
without We started out following
the boulevard that led there. We
soon got there, and were soon over
by the animals. We first went to
the chickens, peacocks, wildcats and
rabbits. And next we went to the
bufaloes, and then the bears, They
had about two dozen buffaloes.
There were Polar bears and grizzlies.
There were three bears that were
caved in down i. the ground. The
walls were made Of bricks, and they
had each hole in the walls to go in
They also had each = pool OF water,
where they could 30 swimming,
There was large bYnch of boys
and girls feeding the bears peanuts.
But we enjoyed ourselves just as
good as the others did without pea
nuts. The bears would stick their
claws out Of the iron bars and reach
foy the peanuts. They sure got
enough, for they always had their
laws full to crack, which they did
When. they didn't get
any peanuts they would stand on
heir hind feet aud twist around. then
people would throw peanuts down
o them.
After we had stayed there while
se went home, On the way home
We saw black and white fve-legged
,ow. Her filth leg was on the neck.
We came home, all right very
iappy and tired. !,
Omaha daily bee., 1920-03-14
A Happy Christmas.
By AuRalla Cejda, Aged ,, West Point,
Neb

BY Angela ceids, ,Ased y West Point
Dear Busy Bees. Mary was a
little girl who livedlwith her mother
in an old hut. She had to work
hard for their daily bread and SO
did her mother. She worked tor
other people, and only got Is cents
day,
1t was Christmas eve, and the
little girl was So sad, because she
knew she would not get anything
for Christmas. That night she went
to bed with a sad heart, In the
morning when she arose she went
into the kitchen where her mother
was working. Her mother told her
to go and gather some kindling,
When Mary stepped out OF the
door. what did she see there, but
two baskets. She quickly lifted
them and took them to her mother.
Then her mother opened one and
it had some clothes for both OF
them and some toys for Mary were
on the top. The other basket had
some good things for them to eat.
Mary and her mother were very
happy, indeed, and Mary's mother
told Mary to go and inquire and
see who sent 1t to them. Mary did
as she was told, and she said to
her mother. IF find who it was
that sent that l will thank them
for it,"
Mary went all around and could
not find anybody and when Mary
came home she said that maybe
Santa Claus brought it to them, and
her mother said maybe he did. That
day they were so happy. Then
night came and they both went to
bed with happy hearts.
Omaha daily bee., 1920-03-14
OUR PUZZLE GYM
A TRAINING FOR NIMBLE WITS
Director Copyright Sam
G FOR NIMBLE WITS
Director-S,A.,Mllt[LrOYD \ 4 ]

- of the cliff in the --- of
the gale. the professor further re-
marked:
"These unceasing activities OF the
wind and water bring to our minds
the admonishing thought that Tenn
pus Fugit, that we must not indulge
in - OF time, lest the of
scorn on the - of fate finds us
rot the -- of honor, and def
cient In our contributions to the
- and - of labor.
LET US ever be found on the -
OF the law, honest and industrious,
but with the of opportunity
alert and watchful."
To complete the professors lee
ture, all we are required to do is to
place in each of those vacant spaces
q word, the definition Of which is a
part Of or attribute of the human
body.
Omaha daily bee., 1920-03-14
Man in the Landscape.

As we stood with our professor
or the --- Of the hill, he pointed
out interesting features in the land
scape and drew on his philosophy
for our entertainment and instruc-
ton. Said he;
''In the distance we see the ---------
Of the lase. from whence flow the
waters down over the soft --- Of
mother earth, past the '-- of the
mountain and into the -- Of the
sea. that gather close around that
graceful - of land in the hazy
distance
As we retraced our steps past the
Omaha daily bee., 1920-03-14
Eliminating B.

Remove R from a drop of mois-
ture and leave a beverage.
Remove R from an animal and
leave garden implement.
Remove R from cleaning utensil
and leave loud noise. a.
Remove R from a beach and leave
q structure.
Remove R from bird and leave
an animal.
Remove R from strand and leave
piece of wearing apparel.
Remove r from a dull shade and
leave Jolly.
Remove r from a part of fishing
tackle and leave a water creature.
Remove R from metal and leave
a fish
Remove X from map and leave
short conversation.
Remove r from legal document
and leave sprightly humor.
Remove r from a mark and leave
an orchestra.
Omaha daily bee., 1920-03-14
Twenty Concealed Towns.

WOhSy SOu~SaAS0 AO"Aes
l.. He was very, bright on the
subject of fishing. but otherwise a
bore. (Vt)
3, I could not beat Roy swim
ming, but | easily outrowed him.
(Vt.)
5. The farmer gave us each al
overabundance Of big red tomatoes,
On. H.) 4
4, AT the stock sale May wanted
to bid on a pretty Jersey calf. IN.
H.
S. Enjoyable as was our outing
we are glad toreturn home N. Fl. }
9. The best friend I made was a
large drab Angora cat. fMc.)
y. We stopped at little town
to- see grandpa, then sailed across
the lake to our hotel. (Me.)
3. Julia was bent on hill climb
ing, which was strenuous exercise
for the others.
9. We launched opposite a
Omaha daily bee., 1920-03-14

A patriotic school teacher re
cited THE Landing of tb~Pil-
grims" to her pupils, then asked
each OF them to draw from their
imagination a picture of Plymouth
Rock. One little fellow hesitated
and then raised his hand. well
Willie, what is it?"
"Please, Miss Brown, do you wat
us to draw a hen or a roosterf
Omaha daily bee., 1920-03-14
School House Clock pussle.

The school genius has discovered
puzzle on the school house clock
and his schoolmates are trying to
figure it out. 1t will be seen that
the clock hands form. a straight line
across the dial. On one side of the
line the figures add up total of 81,
while on the other side the figures
add up to 81, The genius asks:
"Where would you draw a straight
line across the face of the clock, d.
viding 1t into halves. and each half
bearing numbers which foot up to a
total of 1872"
Omaha daily bee., 1920-03-14
CHAPTER II,
Fun in the Jungle

Wild and strange looking as was
the Jungle, Peggy seemed to know
it. She felt that she had either been
there before or had seen it.
"We-ee-el;! We-ee-ek! This is
my rativc land. Hurrah! We-ee-ek! /!
We-ee-ek" Rollo, the Wandering
Monkey, chattering with joy. raced
up among the tangled trees and
Omaha daily bee., 1920-03-14
ANSWERS TO LAST WEEKS
PUZZLES.

picture Sum"
Crowd plus Rake minus Drake
leaves Crow.
"Landlady's Puxxle."
The landlady was able to manipu-
late FIVE 12-inch candles so as TO
serve her three dodgers without
waste for six nights.
Following is shown how the five
l2-inch candles were subtraeted
Omaha daily bee., 1920-03-14
A Rhyming Rebus.
Copyright, 1910, by Sam Lloyd.

~ UsffyIIit N~OuSs
AT first I'm advanced for interest or
-pelf;
Behead and you'll find I've \ place
on the shelf;
But behead me again, and perform
it with care,
If you handle me now, you have
need to beware.
Omaha daily bee., 1920-03-14
DR. EAML AND
ADVENTURE
BY DADDY,

tRoflo. the Wandering Monkey, uses .
Dream Stick TO turn Peggy, Billy Smiling
Teacher and ali the pupils In Pesgy's room
into monkeys. The! jump through a
circle IN the blackboard and find them
selves in iungle
Omaha daily bee., 1920-03-14

"A Riddle"
The word LACE.
"A Business Problem
Johnnie figured out that the suit
cost $3.50 and sold for $1375.
"Curtailments."
Dime, Dine, Done, Earl, Feed,
Fund, Furl, Garb, Heron Huge,
Pine, Plane, Rate, Tent