The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1920-10-22


You know you'll do nothing of tn
sort" says she. "The idea! Just a
I've been taken into the Wednesda,
: Bridge Club by some of those yer,
J ladies whose husbands you propos,
to treat in this shameful way. Wha
do you suppose they would think O
me? So this is what you've beef
plotting all this week, is it? l knew
you weer up to something"
But really, my DEAR" he protests
Il have only been considering the
matter"
Without considering me at ALL
comes back Mrs. Wilde. "And il
would take you cut evenings, 1 pre-
sumo, just when 1 needed you as an
escort. That's a man for you!"
Butt had intended talking it all
over with you, my DEAR" he apolo-
gizes.
well, 1 guess you have now, says
l, smotherin' grin.
Il could give you definite answer
in the morning" suggests Wilde.
Don't bother" says l. This is
definite enough. Sorry you don't feel
like joinin' in. But we'll put on some
! body else. So long"
And right after dinner that night
I has to chase up to the Ellins place
and report to Mr.. Robert. "You can
cross off Mr.. Henry Peck" says 1
Who?" says Mr. Robert.
Alias Milton Wilde" says I. "Say,
where did you ever get a name like
that. Why, he's the tamest Wilde
flower in captivity. Grows tanner
hour by hour, too. In other words,
Mr.. Robert, Milton resigns
You mean" says Mr.. Robert, that
he has positively declined to serve as
a director?"
Not at ALL" says l. "But Mrs.
Milton Wilde declines to let him.
had talk with her about it. That
is, she had a talk with him And say,
when l left 'em he was jumpin'
through hoop for her. Would you
think it,"
ooh, WELL" says Mr.. Robert, then
We'll have to put on Thatcher. Call
him up, will you?"
So the great conspiracy went
through, after all. Sure it did, for
with Mr.. Robert pullin' the strings
that collection of old-timers was
dumped as swift as if they had been
standing on trap door, They drop
ped out of sight so sudden they hardly
had time to let out a gasp between
| EN-.
But the most interestin' part of
the campaign to me was this new
line it gave me on Milton Wilde.
Every time 1 saw him after that,
struttin around lookin wise and dig
nified, I'd have to let out a chuckle
Not that henpecked husbands was any
more of a novelty in our neck of
woods than in most places, but as a
rule it's little shrimp of man
who's being bossed around by a lady
| husk with two or three chins and an
eagle beak. Milton, though, looked
| like he could lay down the law any
where, or call vice-president on the
carpet and get him chewin his tongue
Here he is, though, trottin' around
meek after a little 9S-pound female
whose main offensive is a timber
tongue and pair of snappy black
eyes. Mostly l saw him around the
| Country Club, not indulgin, in golf or
billiards or round of roodles in a
| back room with the other bubbles,
| but waitin' patient at the car while
Mrs. Wilde finished a rubber or exer-
cisin' her in a fox trot. Generally he
had something draped on his arm; an
evening wrap, or pink sweater, or
maybe he was cartin' a knitting bag.
Honest, all he needed was a pair of
| black satin breaches and a gold cord
over his shoulder to be a he-maid,
only there were no Thursday after
moons or Sunday nights off FIR him.
He'd been roped at the altar and moth
ing but a decree nisi or something
like that would ever set him free.
Meanwhile Mr. Wilde, having horned
her way into the Roaring Rock social
set, is proceedin' to cut loose with
her executive gifts. We heard rumors
of how she is runnin the Wednesday
Bridge Club with a high hard, how
she'd gone to the house cCrlmittee and
insisted on changin' the furnishing
scheme of the ladies' reception room
all round, and had raised grand
rumpus until they put her on as one
of the hostesses for the dinner dances
The way she ordered the committee
chairman and the steward arounC
you'd think she had 'em all on thu
pay roll.
GOSH" says 1 to Wee. "Afte
watching her while 1 feel like goini
home and beating up my family"
"Why, Torchy!" says Wee.
Anyway, I gotta treat somebod
, rough" says l. But the best l coul
do was to work it out on Buddy, tn
! Airedale, who liked nothing better.
, - to1 hot