The news scimitar. (Memphis, Tenn.) 1907-1926, 1920-03-15

But surely there is ample oppor-
tunity for these domestic bouts to be
held in privacy, in the time which a
, husband and wife perforce spend at
home, and when the. doors can be shut,
and the blinds pulled down, and the
keyholes plugged up so that neither
sight nor sound Of the encounter will
penetrate to the outside world.
To inflict these affairs on the in
nocent bystander is criminal cruelty
to dumb animals, for there is no other
situation in life that is SO acutely EN-
harrassing, nor so filled with poignant
and helpless agony as to be forced 70
assist, In the French sense, at a quar-
rel between married couple.
Neithar discretion nor tact offers the
victim any safe way of escape, To
take either side is to invite assault u
husband a brute, but If you agree with
her she will turn upon you like q Wild
cat and, tell you that her husband Is a
perfect gentleman, and that you are a
haast ofylow degree yourself to traduee
that noble and generous man.
The husband may say that his wife
is a pin-headed idiot, and demand OF
heaven to know why he was ever fool
enough to marry her, but If you as
sent to his estimate of his spouse he
will accuse wou Of being jealous cat,
If you are a woman, and punch your
tVs1 AVE Insulting tliS pSdtl VI HSN soA
If you are a man. In either case you
will have made two enemies for life,
fer there is this popularity about a
husband and-wife quarrel = that it
brooks no interference, and both COM
batants invariably turn upon the out
slider WHO butts into it.
Nor is 1t any safer to try to pour
oil upon the troubled waters. No one
is artful enough to apply the lubricant
Just where the fiction is, so the only
thing that the unfortunate third party
can do is to keep still, and honcom-
initial, and preserve an unarTned neu-
trallty until the storm has blown over,
1t Is a far from exhiliaratingS eXpe-
rience. however, and nobody's idea OF
a pleasant and enjoyable time, yet 1t
is one of the social martyrdoms that
we Ire all called to go through far too
often.
All of us know married people who
are really charming, cultivated, delight
full people, who would be the most
agreeable of companions except for the
bad habit they have formed OF fighting
in public, and which makes them wet
blanket every festive occasion which
they attend.
These people will take you out in
their car, and you will be having most
beautiful time, bowling along lovely
road, through exquisite scenery, and
listening to their witty chatter. Sud
denly some foolish question comes up
about turn in the road, or who owns
certain estate, or how many miles
they made on their last ride-and Diff!
They say the most insulting things
to each other They make the most
criminal charges against each other.
They delve down into the past, and
drag out family skeletons that have
been locked in their closets for years
n nd inKat nj
murder is bound to be committed, they
simmer down and diplomatic relations
are again resumed. But your ride has
been ruined, your pleasant AFTERNOON
spoiled. A thousand times better y
hang on strap in a street car Il
peace, than to loll in limousine witt
a brdwling husband and wife.
Or perhaps you are invited to won
derful dinner by belligerent couple
The table is an artistic picture. TIT
food is a chefs masterpiece. TIL
guests interesting and congenial Sud
denly either husband or wife. SHES hi
or her hat into the ring, and there Il
a free fight on, SO fierce that every
body begins to duck, for 1t seems i'm
possible for the cutlery and CROKER
not to follow the verbal onslaught.
OF course, having had these littl
domestic miXups a million times before
the hus band and wife, figurativel
they have been to the mat, and every
thing is as before between them. Blu
not so with the guests who have bee
outraged and Inundated, and who fet
justly that they have been ill-used |
having teen dragged into a dihgraeeft
scene that they would have given niue
to have avoided.
OF course married people quarrel be
cause they enjoy it. 1t relieves tn
domestic tension. 1t warns their bloc
and puts pep and ginger into them, an
makes them feel good to fight. Other
wise they would not do it,, becaus
there is never family spat that coul
not be avoided if either the husban
or the wife really desired to sidestep i
If a husband and wife. get any res
fun out of insulting each other, an
saying unforgivable things to eac
other, it is their personal privilege
do So but it does seem that the mos
ings of strangers should induce thel
to reserve their quarrels for home cor
sumption and not to force other peopl
to be witness to them.
Nobody cares to know what hus
bands and wife's real private opinion
recitation of their faults, nor to an
speculation as to why they marie
each other, and to be forced to be
party to such revelation fills one wit
a vicarious shame for those who ha'
no shame for themselves.
Therefore, let those who delight
Strengthening the dove Of peace, do
privately at home, but when they {
forth in public let them sign a dome
tic armistice that will hold until tn,
get back under their own roof tire
After all, it's q poor quarrel that wor
last two or three hours, and the del,
and the wrath they have been nursil
will enable them to go to it with add
vim and vigor