The Washington herald., 1920-06-22

THERE were two or three
i things that wanted to
know. I do not care about a
mystery. SO began to inquire.
1t took me two weeks to find
out, what women carry in dress
suitcasesJ And then I began to
ask why a mattress Is made In
two pieces. This serious query
was at first received with suspi-
cion because II sounded like q
conundrum. / was at last as
sured that it's double form of
construction was designed to
make lighter the burden Of
woman, who makes up beds. .
was so foolish as to persist. beg
ging to know why, then, they
were not made in two equal
pieces; whereupon 1 was Stunned.
The third draught that / craved
from the fount of knowledge was
enlightenment concerning the
character known as Man About
Town. He was more vague in
my mind than a type should be.
We must have a concrete idea Of
anything, even IL 1t be an mag
mary idea, before we can COM
prehend it. Now, I have a mental
picture of John Doe that IL as
clear as a steel engraving. His
eyes are weak blue; he wears a
brown vest and a shiny black
serge coat. He stands always In
the sunshine chewing something;
and he keeps half-shutting his
pocket knife and opening 1t again
with his thumb. And. IL the Man
Higher Up is ever found. take my
assurance for it. he will be a
large. pale man with blue wrist
lets showing under his cuffs, and
he will be sitting to have his
shoes polished within sound of
bowling alley, and there will be
somewhere about him turquoises.
But the canvas of my imagina-
ton, when it came to lfmning the
Man About Town, was blank. I
fancied that he had a detachable
sneer Qike the smile of the
Cheshire cat) and attached cuffs;
and that was all. Whereupon i
asked a newspaper reporter about
him.
why" said he, "a Man About
Town is something between a
'rounder' and a 'clubman.' He
isn't exactly-well, he fits in be-
tween Mrs. Fish's receptions ana
private boxing bouts. He doesn't.
well, he doesn't belong either to
the Lotus Club or to the Jerry
McGeoghoghan Galvanized Iron
Workers Apprentices Left Hook
Chowder Association. 1 don't ex-
actly know how to describe him
to you. You'll see him every
where there's anything doing.
Yes, 1 suppose he's a type. Dress
clothes every evening; knows the
ropes; calls every policeman and
waiter in town by his first
name. No; he never travels with
the hydrogen derivatives. You
generally see him alone or with
another man."
Ny friend the reporter left me,
apd I wandered further afeld. By
this time the 1926 electric lights
on the Rialto were alight. Peo-
pie passed, but they held me not.
Paphian eyes rayed upon me, and
left me unscathed. Diners. helm
CANCERS, shop-girls. confidence
men, panhandlers. actors, high
waymen, millionaires and out
landers hurried, skipped, strolled.
sneaked. staggered and scurried
by me; but 1 took no note of
them. knew them all; i had
read their hearts: they had
served. / wanted my Man About
Town. He was a type, and to
drop him would be an error-a
typograph-but no! let US con-
tinue.
Let us continue with moral
depression. To see a family read
ing the Sunday paper gratifies.
The sections have been separated.
Papa is earnestly scanning the
page that pictures the young lady
exercising before an open window
and bending-but there, there!
Mamma is interested in trying to
guess the missing letters in the
word Nv Yo-k. The oldest
girls are eagerly perusing the
financial reports. for GER
tain young man remarked last
Sunday night that he had taken