The Chattanooga news. [volume] (Chattanooga, Tenn.) 1891-1939, 1920-03-19
Bits of Byplay
BY LUKE MCLUKE
Copyright, I92U, by
The Cincinnati Enquirer.

win a., The Tipping Kid.
WHO no up he never fails;
Tbss,'e very very Time he weighs himself.
lhey say. he tips the scales.
A.. a Tragedy in Two Acts.
Act Honey.
Act 2.-Alimony
Tbougb va, Fact!
! 3 YoH / you you dodge duty, brothers
four great at telling Others
just what THEY ought to do.
MY hair is all my own" said Name
>, she did not tell lie;
\ OF now could other people claim
Inc hair she chose TO buy?
M No, HumI
me men was picking around the pen
~ ~ "nlch the old hog was confined
Inc, Inc old hog had been fattened to tkt
mn. ~ ana was ready for the butcher
tbe h oI6 away from here, sister," said
tbo Why yy what's the natter" asked
Every time I see you have
gloomy thoughts of ham and eggs"
replied the old hog.
Lucky job.
old Job sure was a lucky lout."
remarked poor Oswald Rax;
lie never had to figure out
His doggone income tax"
Glrlle Laughter is the name OF a man
WHO llVes IN Saiuda. Polk county, Tenn.
5-r-r-r-r-r!
rms IS mighty chilly March. But
what we started to say was that RIiz-
lard and Winters have a grocery store
In Mansfield. Ohio.
Things to Worry About.
The Postmaster of Xenia. Ohio lives
IN Springfield. Ohio.
Signs Is Signs.
sign on curtain of Strand Theater,
New YORK Bargain store Right Across
the Street.
walk n Block and Save Myuevft
Police!
The flowers are lucky, I'll ag-,e.
Free bed and board are in me sod;
ANA TINS is why you never see
The hollyhock the goldenrod
dry.
They seem to say to us. l think,
NOW Now II you want larkspur on,
For at this portulacca drink"
Newark Advocate.
Alta Boy!
We had kinda lost track of our old
friend and charter member of the
Club, Cory Hogg, of Charleston. w.
Is now the Potentate of Beni-Kedem
Temple. Mystic Shrine.
Poor Abe!
VIII some of the members kick in
with pair of pants or an overcoat2
We have found Abraham Naked in
Bonnie Shutters in the Junior High
school in Chattanooga. Tenn.
Our Daily Special.
-. Most OF Us Do Not Know That
There Is a Big Difference Between
Criticism and Abuse.
Luke McLuke Says:
Every successful man knows the
things he does not do are just as i'm
portant as the things he does do
Even when she can see it with her
own eyes you can't get q. woman Ia
believe anything she doesn't want to
believe.
Why is 1t that wife can't read
an account of married man Jumping
the Fence and getting himself in bad
without glazing at her husband and
making some crack about the Men be-
ing All Alike?
Men have sense enough to admire
sensible girls. But they haven't sense
enough to keep from falling in love
with the other kind
Make up a list OF the things that
you simply can't afford to get your
wife and youlI have list of the things
that she simply has to have.
We do not know much. But we do
KNOW InaL II tne letlCT contains
check, the recipient isn't going TO
criticize the stationery.
The Fool Killer ought to wake up
and stay on the job. An Ohio man
wants a divorce because his wife wont
talk to him.
After a modern girl gets five years
of music, painting and dancing lessons
and five days of cooking lessons. she
is supposed to be fully equipped for
matrimony.